"GEORGE WASHINGTON'S" LAST DUEL. By Thomas Nelson Page 1891 I. Of all the places in the county "The Towers" was the favorite with theyoung people. There even before Margaret was installed the Major keptopen house with his major domo and factotum "George Washington"; andwhen Margaret came from school, of course it was popular. Only one classof persons was excluded. There were few people in the county who did not know of the Major'santipathy to "old women, " as he called them. Years no more entered intohis definition of this class than celibacy did into his idea of an "oldbachelor. " The state of single blessedness continued in the femalesex beyond the bloom of youth was in his eyes the sole basis ofthis unpardonable condition. He made certain concessions to the fewindividuals among his neighbors who had remained in the state ofspinsterhood, because, as he declared, neighborliness was a greatervirtue than consistency; but he drew the line at these few, and it washis boast that no old woman had ever been able to get into his Eden. "One of them, " he used to say, "would close paradise just as readily nowas Eve did six thousand years ago. " Thus, although as Margaret grewup she had any other friends she desired to visit her as often as shechose, her wish being the supreme law at Rock Towers, she had never eventhought of inviting one of the class against whom her uncle's ruddy facewas so steadfastly set. The first time it ever occurred to her to inviteany one among the proscribed was when she asked Rose Endicott to payher a visit. Rose, she knew, was living with her old aunt, Miss JemimaBridges, whom she had once met in R-----, and she had some apprehensionthat in Miss Jemima's opinion, the condition of the South was so muchlike that of the Sandwich Islands that the old lady would not permitRose to come without her personal escort. Accordingly, one evening aftertea, when the Major was in a particularly gracious humor, and had toldher several of his oldest and best stories, Margaret fell upon himunawares, and before he had recovered from the shock of the encounter, had captured his consent. Then, in order to secure the leverage of adispatched invitation, she had immediately written Rose, asking herand her aunt to come and spend a month or two with her, and had withoutdelay handed it to George Washington to deliver to Lazarus to giveLuke to carry to the post-office. The next evening, therefore, when theMajor, after twenty-four hours of serious apprehension, reopened thematter with a fixed determination to coax or buy her out of the notion, because, as he used to say, "women can't be _reasoned_ out of a thing, sir, not having been reasoned in, " Margaret was able to meet him withthe announcement that it was "too late, " as the letter had already beenmailed. Seated in one of the high-backed arm-chairs, with one white hand shadingher laughing eyes from the light, and with her evening dress daintilyspread out about her, Margaret was amused at the look of desperationon the old gentleman's ruddy face. He squared his round body beforethe fire, braced himself with his plump legs well apart, as if he werepreparing to sustain the shock of a blow, and taking a deep inspiration, gave a loud and prolonged "Whew!" This was too much for her. Margaret rose, and, going up to him, took his arm and looked into hisface cajolingly. "Uncle, I was bound to have Rose, and Miss Jemima would not have let hercome alone. " The tone was the low, almost plaintive key, the effectiveness of whichMargaret knew so well. "'Not let her!'" The Major faced her quickly. "Margaret, she is one ofthose _strong-minded_ women!" Margaret nodded brightly. "I bet my horse she wears iron-gray curls, caught on the side of herhead with tucking combs!" "She does, " declared Margaret, her eyes dancing. "And has a long nose--red at the end. " "Uncle, you have seen her. I _know_ you have seen her, " assertedMargaret, laughing up at him. "You have her very picture. " The Major groaned, and vowed that he would never survive it, and thatMargaret would go down to history as the slayer of her uncle. "I have selected my place in the graveyard, " he said, with a mournfulshake of the head. "Put me close to the fence behind the raspberrythicket, where I shall be secure. Tell her there are snakes there. " "But, uncle, she is as good as gold, " declared Margaret; "she is alwaysdoing good, --I believe she thinks it her mission to save the world. " The Major burst out, "That's part of this modern devilment ofsubstituting humanitarianism for Christianity. Next thing they'll bewanting to abolish hell!" The Major was so impressed with his peril that when Jeff, who hadgalloped over "for a little while, " entered, announced with greatceremony by George Washington, he poured out all his apprehensions intohis sympathetic ear, and it was only when he began to rally Jeff on thechance of his becoming a victim to Miss Endicott's charms, that Margaretinterfered so far as to say, that Rose had any number of lovers, and oneof them was "an awfully nice fellow, handsome and rich and all that. "She wished "some one" would invite him down to pay a visit in theneighborhood, for she was "afraid Rose would find it dreadfully dullin the country. " The Major announced that he would himself make loveto her; but both Margaret and Jeff declared that Providence manifestlyintended him for Miss Jemima. He then suggested that Miss Endicott'sfriend be invited to come with her, but Margaret did not think thatwould do. "What is the name of this Paragon?" inquired Jeff. Margaret gave his name. "Mr. Lawrence--Pickering Lawrence. " "Why, I know him, 'Pick Lawrence. ' We were college-mates, class-mates. He used to be in love with somebody up at his home then; but Inever identified her with your friend. We were great cronies at theUniversity. He was going to be a lawyer; but I believe somebody diedand he came into a fortune. " This history did not appear to surpriseMargaret as much as might have been expected, and she said nothing moreabout him. About a week later Jeff took occasion to ride over to tea, and announcedthat his friend Mr. Lawrence had promised to run down and spend a fewweeks with him. Margaret looked so pleased and dwelt so much on thealleged charms of the expected guest that Jeff, with a pang of jealousy, suddenly asserted that he "didn't think so much of Lawrence, " that hewas one of those fellows who always pretended to be very much in lovewith somebody, and was "always changing his clothes. " "That's what girls like, " said Margaret, decisively; and this was allthe thanks Jeff received. II. There was immense excitement at the Towers next day when the visitorswere expected. The Major took twice his usual period to dress; GeorgeWashington with a view to steadying his nerves braced them so tight thathe had great difficulty in maintaining his equipoise, and even Margaretherself was in a flutter quite unusual to one so self-possessed as shegenerally was. When, however, the carriage drove up to the door, theMajor, with Margaret a little in advance, met the visitors at the stepsin all the glory of new blue broadcloth and flowered velvet. Sir CharlesGrandison could not have been more elegant, nor Sir Roger more gracious. Behind him yet grander stood George--George Washington--his master'sfac-simile in ebony down to the bandanna handkerchief and the trick ofwaving the right hand in a flowing curve. It was perhaps this spectaclewhich saved the Major, for Miss Jemima was so overwhelmed by GeorgeWashington's portentous dignity that she exhibited sufficient humilityto place the Major immediately at his ease, and from this time MissJemima was at a disadvantage, and the Major felt that he was master ofthe situation. The old lady had never been in the South before except for a few days onthe occasion when Margaret had met her and Rose Endicott at the hotel inR----, and she had then seen just enough to excite her inquisitiveness. Her natural curiosity was quite amazing. She was desperately bent onacquiring information, and whatever she heard she set down in a journal, so as soon as she became sufficiently acquainted with the Major shebegan to ply him with questions. Her seat at table was at the Major'sright, and the questions which she put to him proved so embarrassing, that the old gentleman declared to Margaret that if that old woman knewas much as she wanted to know she would with her wisdom eclipseSolomon and destroy the value of the Scriptures. He finally hit upon anexpedient. He either traversed every proposition she suggested, or elseanswered every inquiry with a statement which was simply astounding. She had therefore not been at the Towers a week before she was in thepossession of facts furnished by the Major which might have staggeredcredulity itself. One of the many entries in her journal was to the effect that, accordingto Major B----, it was the custom on many plantations to shoot a slaveevery year, on the ground that such a sacrifice was generally salutary;that it was an expiation of past derelictions and a deterrent fromrepetition. And she added this memorandum: "The most extraordinary and revolting part of it all is that thisbarbarous custom, which might well have been supposed confined toDahomey, is justified by such men as Major B---- as a pious act. " Sheinserted this query, "Can it be true?" If she did not wholly believe the Major, she did not altogetherdisbelieve him. She at least was firmly convinced that it was quitepossible. She determined to inquire privately of George Washington. She might have inquired of one of the numerous maids, whose uselesspresence embarrassed her; but the Major foreseeing that she might pursueher investigation in other directions, had informed her that the ritewas guarded with the greatest care, and that it would be as much as anyone's life were worth to divulge it. Miss Jemima, therefore, was tooloyal to expose one of her own sex to such danger; so she was compelledto consult George Washington, whom she believed clever enough to takecare of himself. She accordingly watched several days for an opportunity to see himalone, but without success. In fact, though she was unaware of it, George Washington had conceived for her a most violent dislike, andcarefully avoided her. He had observed with growing suspicion MissJemima's investigation of matters relating to the estate, and herpersistent pursuit of knowledge at the table had confirmed him in hisidea that she contemplated the capture of his master and himself. Like his master, he had a natural antipathy to "old women, " and asthe Major's threat for years had varied between "setting him free nextmorning" and giving him "a mistress to make him walk straight, " GeorgeWashington felt that prudence demanded some vigilance on his part. One day, under cover of the hilarity incident to the presence at dinnerof Jeff and of his guest, Mr. Lawrence, Miss Jemima had pushed herinquisition even further than usual. George Washington watched her withgrowing suspicion, his head thrown back and his eyes half closed, andso, when, just before dinner was over, he went into the hall to seeabout the fire, he, after his habit, took occasion to express hisopinion of affairs to the sundry members of the family who looked downat him from their dim gilt frames on the wall. "I ain't pleased wid de way things is gwine on heah at all, " hedeclared, poking the fire viciously and addressing his remark moreparticularly to an old gentlemen who in ruffles and red velvet sat withcrossed legs in a high-backed chair just over the piano. "Heah me an'Marse Nat an' Miss Margaret been gittin' long all dese years easy an'peaceable, an' Marse Jeff been comin' over sociable all de time, an'd' ain' been no trouble nor nuttin' till now dat ole ooman what ax mo'questions 'n a thousan' folks kin answer got to come heah and set upto Marse Nat, an' talk to him so he cyarn hardly eat. " He rose fromhis knees at the hearth, and looking the old gentleman over the pianosquarely in the face, asserted, "She got her mine sot on bein' mymistis, dat's what 'tis!" This relieved him so that he returned to hisoccupation of "chunking" the fire, adding, "When women sets de mines ona thing, you jes' well gin up!" So intent was he on relieving himself of the burden on his mind that hedid not hear the door softly open, and did not know any one had entereduntil an enthusiastic voice behind him exclaimed: "Oh! what a profound observation!" George Washington started in muchconfusion; for it was Miss Jemima, who had stolen away from the table tointercept him at his task of "fixing the fires. " She had, however, heardonly his concluding sentence, and she now advanced with a beaming smileintended to conciliate the old butler. George Washington gave the heartha final and hasty sweep, and was retiring in a long detour around MissJemima when she accosted him. "Uncle George. " "Marm. " He stopped and half turned. "What a charming old place you have here!" George Washington cast his eye up towards the old gentleman in thehigh-backed chair, as much as to say, "You see there? What did I tellyou?" Then he said briefly: "Yes, 'm. " "What is its extent? How many acres are there in it?" George Washington positively started. He took in several of the familyin his glance of warning. "Well, I declare, marm, I don't know, " he began; then it occurringto him that the honor of the family was somehow at stake and mustbe upheld, he added, "A leetle mo' 'n a hundred thousan', marm. " Hisexactness was convincing. Miss Jemima threw up her hands: "Prodigious! How many nee---- how many persons of the African blood arethere on this vast domain?" she inquired, getting nearer to her point. George, observing how much she was impressed, eyed her with risingdisdain: "Does you mean niggers, m'm? 'Bout three thousan', mum. " Another exclamation of astonishment burst from the old lady's lips. "If you will permit me to inquire, Uncle George, how old are you?" "She warn see if I kin wuck--dat's what she's after, " said George tohimself, with a confidential look at a young gentleman in a huntingdress on the wall between two windows. Then he said: "Well, I declare, mum, you got me dyah. I ixpec' I is mos ninety yearsole, I reckon I'se ol'er 'n you is--I reckon I is. " "Oh!" exclaimed Miss Jemima with a little start as if she had prickedher finger with a needle. "Marse Nat kin tell you, " continued George; "if you don't know how oleyou is, all you got to do is to ax him, an' he kin tell you--he got itall set down in a book--he kin tell how ole you is to a day. " "Dear, how frightful!" exclaimed Miss Jemima, just as the Major enteredsomewhat hastily. "He's a gone coon, " said George Washington through the crack of the doorto the old gentleman in ruffles, as he pulled the door slowly to fromthe outside. The Major had left the young people in the dining-room and had come toget a book to settle a disputed quotation. He had found the work and wastrying to read it without the ignominy of putting on his glasses, whenMiss Jemima accosted him. "Major, your valet appears to be a very intelligent person. " The Major turned upon her. "My 'valet'! Madam! I have no valet!" "I mean your body servant, your butler"--explained Miss Jemima. "I havebeen much impressed by him. " "George!--George Washington?--you mean George Washington! No, madam, hehas not a particle of intelligence. --He is grossly and densely stupid. Ihave never in fifty years been able to get an idea into his head. " "Oh, dear! and I thought him so clever! I was wondering how sointelligent a person, so well informed, could be a slave. " The Major faced about. "George! George Washington a slave! Madam, you misapprehend thesituation. _He_ is no slave. I am the slave, not only of him but ofthree hundred more as arrogant and exacting as the Czar, and as lazy asthe devil!" Miss Jemima threw up her hands in astonishment, and the Major, who wason a favorite theme, proceeded: "Why, madam, the very coat on my back belongs to that rascal GeorgeWashington, and I do not know when he may take a fancy to order me outof it. My soul is not my own. He drinks my whiskey, steals my tobacco, and takes my clothes before my face. As likely as not he will have onthis very waistcoat before the week is out. " The Major stroked his well-filled velvet vest caressingly, as if healready felt the pangs of the approaching separation. "Oh, dear! You amaze me, " began Miss Jemima. "Yes, madam, I should be amazed myself, except that I have stood itso long. Why, I had once an affair with an intimate and valued friend, Judge Carrington. You may have heard of him, a very distinguished man!and I was indiscreet enough to carry that rascal George Washington tothe field, thinking, of course, that I ought to go like a gentleman, andalthough the affair was arranged after we had taken our positions, and Idid not have the pleasure of shooting at him. "Good heavens!" exclaimed Miss Jemima. "_The pleasure of shooting atyour friend!_ Monstrous!" "I say I did not have that pleasure, " corrected the Major, blandly; "theaffair was, as I stated, arranged without a shot; yet do you know? thatrascal George Washington will not allow that it was so, and I understandhe recounts with the most harrowing details the manner in which 'he andI, ' as he terms it, shot my friend--murdered him. " Miss Jemima gave an "Ugh. Horrible! What depravity!" she said, almostunder her breath. The Major caught the words. "Yes, madam, it is horrible to think of such depravity. Unquestionablyhe deserves death; but what can one do! The law, kept feeble bypoliticians, does not permit one to kill them, however worthless theyare (he observed Miss Jemima's start, )--except, of course, by way ofexample, under certain peculiar circumstances, as I have stated to you. "He bowed blandly. Miss Jemima was speechless, so he pursued. "I have sometimes been tempted to make a break for liberty, and havethought that if I could once get the rascal on the field, with my oldpistols, I would settle with him which of us is the master. " "Do you mean that you would--would shoot him?" gasped Miss Jemima. "Yes, madam, unless he should be too quick for me, " replied the Major, blandly, --"or should order me from the field, which he probably woulddo. " The old lady turned and hastily left the room. III. Though Miss Jemima after this regarded the Major with renewed suspicion, and confided to her niece that she did not feel at all safe with him, the old gentleman was soon on the same terms with Rose that he was onwith Margaret herself. He informed her that he was just twenty-fivehis "last grass, " and that he never could, would, or should grow a yearolder. He notified Jeff and his friend Mr. Lawrence at the table thathe regarded himself as a candidate for Miss Endicott's hand, and had"staked" the ground, and he informed her that as soon as he could bringhimself to break an oath which he had made twenty years before, neverto address another woman, he intended to propose to her. Rose, who hadlingered at the table a moment behind the other ladies, assured theold fellow that he need fear no rival, and that if he could not mustercourage to propose before she left, as it was leap-year, she wouldexercise her prerogative and propose herself. The Major, with his handon his heart as he held the door open for her, vowed as Rose swept pasthim her fine eyes dancing, and her face dimpling with fun, that he wasready that moment to throw himself at her feet if it were not for thedifficulty of getting up from his knees. A little later in the afternoon Margaret was down among the rose-bushes, where Lawrence had joined her, after Rose had executed that inexplicablefeminine manoeuvre of denying herself to oppose a lover's request. Jeff was leaning against a pillar, pretending to talk to Rose, butlistening more to the snatches of song in Margaret's rich voice, or tothe laughter which floated up to them from the garden below. Suddenly he said abruptly, "I believe that fellow Lawrence is in lovewith Margaret. " Rose insisted on knowing what ground he had for so peculiar an opinion, on which he incontinently charged his friend with being one of "thosefellows who falls in love with every pretty girl on whom he lays hiseyes, " and declared that he had done nothing but hang around Margaretever since he had come to the county. What Rose might have replied to this unexpected attack on one whom shereserved for her own especial torture cannot be recorded, for theMajor suddenly appeared around the verandah. Both the young peopleinstinctively straightened up. "Ah! you rascals! I catch you!" he cried, his face glowing with jollity. "Jeff, you'd better look out, --honey catches a heap of flies, and sticksmighty hard. Rose, don't show him any mercy, --kick him, trample on him. " "I am not honey, " said Rose, with a captivating look out of her brighteyes. "Yes, you are. If you are not you are the very rose from which it isdistilled. " "Oh, how charming!" cried the young lady. "How I wish some woman couldhear that said to me!" "Don't give him credit before you hear all his proverb, " said Jeff. "Doyou know what he said in the dining-room?" "Don't credit _him_ at all, " replied the Major. "Don't believehim--don't listen to him. He is green with envy at my success. " And theold fellow shook with amusement. "What did he say? Please tell me. " She appealed to Jeff, and then as hewas about to speak, seeing the Major preparing to run, she caught him. "No, you have to listen. Now tell me, " to Jeff again. "Well, he said honey caught lots of flies, and women lots of fools. " Rose fell back, and pointing her tapering finger at the Major, who, withmock humility, was watching her closely, declared that she would "neverbelieve in him again. " The old fellow met her with an unblushing denialof ever having made such a statement or held such traitorous sentiments, as it was, he maintained, a well established fact that flies never eathoney at all. From this moment the Major conceived the idea that Jeff had been caughtby his fair visitor. It had never occurred to him that any one couldaspire to Margaret's hand. He had thought at one time that Jeff was indanger of falling a victim to the charms of the pretty daughter of anold friend and neighbor of his, and though it appeared rather a pityfor a young fellow to fall in love "out of the State, " yet the claimsof hospitality, combined with the fact that rivalry with Mr. Lawrence, against whom, on account of his foppishness, he had conceived someprejudice, promised a delightful excitement, more than counterbalancedthat objectionable feature. He therefore immediately constituted himselfJeff's ardent champion, and always spoke of the latter's guest as "thatfellow Lawrence. " Accordingly, when, one afternoon, on his return from his ride, he foundJeff, who had ridden over to tea, lounging around alone, in a stateof mind as miserable as a man should be who, having come with theexpectation of basking in the sunshine of Beauty's smile, finds thatBeauty is out horseback riding with a rival, he was impelled to give himaid, countenance, and advice. He immediately attacked him, therefore, on his forlorn and woebegone expression, and declared that at his agehe would have long ago run the game to earth, and have carried her homeacross his saddle-bow. "You are afraid, sir--afraid, " he asserted, hotly. "I don't know whatyou fellows are coming to. " Jeff admitted the accusation. "He feared, " he said, "that he could notget a girl to have him. " He was looking rather red when the Major cuthim short. "'Fear, ' sir! Fear catches kicks, not kisses. 'Not _get_ a girl to haveyou!' Well, upon my soul! Why don't you run after her and bawl like ababy for her to stop, whilst you get down on your knees and--_get_ herto have you!" Jeff was too dejected to be stung even by this unexpected attack. Hemerely said, dolorously: "Well, how the deuce can it be done?" "_Make_ her, sir--_make_ her, " cried the Major. "Coerce her--compelher. " The old fellow was in his element. He shook his grizzled head, andbrought his hollowed hands together with sounding emphasis. Jeff suggested that perhaps she might be impregnable, but the old fellowaffirmed that no woman was this; that no fortress was too strong to becarried; that it all depended on the assailant and the vehemence ofthe assault; and if one did not succeed, another would. The young manbrightened. His mentor, however, dashed his rising hopes by saying:"But mark this, sir, no coward can succeed. Women are rank cowardsthemselves, and they demand courage in their conquerors. Do you thinka woman will marry a man who trembles before her? By Jove, sir! He mustmake her tremble!" Jeff admitted dubiously that this sounded like wisdom. The Major burstout, "Wisdom, sir! It is the wisdom of Solomon, who had a thousandwives!" From this time the Major constituted himself Jeff's ally, and was readyto take the field on his behalf against any and all comers. Therefore, when he came into the hall one day when Rose was at the piano, runningher fingers idly over the keys, whilst Lawrence was leaning over hertalking, he exclaimed: "Hello! what treason's this? I'll tell Jeff. He was consulting me onlyyesterday about--" Lawrence muttered an objurgation; but Rose wheeled around on thepiano-stool and faced him. --"Only yesterday about the best mode of winning--" He stoppedtantalizingly. "Of winning what? I am so interested. " She rose and stood just beforehim with a cajoling air. The Major shut his mouth tight. "I'm as dumb as an oyster. Do you think I would betray my friend'sconfidence--for nothing? I'm as silent as the oracle of Delphi. " Lawrence looked anxious, and Rose followed the old man closely. "I'll pay you anything. " "I demand payment in coin that buys youth from age. " He touched hislips, and catching Rose leaned slowly forward and kissed her. "Now, tell me--what did he say? A bargain's a bargain, " she laughed asLawrence almost ground his teeth. "Well, he said, --he said, let me see, what did he say?" paltered theMajor. "He said he could not get a girl he loved to have him. " "Oh! did he say _that?_" She was so much interested that she just knewthat Lawrence half stamped his foot. "Yes, he said just that, and I told him--" "Well, --what did you say?" "Oh! I did not bargain to tell what _I_ told _him_. I received paymentonly for betraying his confidence. If you drive a bargain I will driveone also. " Rose declared that he was the greatest old screw she ever knew, but shepaid the price, and waited. "Well?--" "'Well?' Of course, I told him 'well. ' I gave him the best advice a manever received. A lawyer would have charged him five hundred dollars forit. I'm an oracle on heart-capture. " Rose laughingly declared she would have to consult him herself, and whenthe Major told her to consult only her mirror, gave him a courtesy andwished he would teach some young men of her acquaintance to make suchspeeches. The old fellow vowed, however, that they were unteachable;that he would as soon expect to teach young moles. IV. It was not more than a half hour after this when George Washington camein and found the Major standing before the long mirror, turning aroundand holding his coat back from his plump sides so as to obtain a fairview of his ample dimensions. "George Washington, " said he. "Suh. " "I'm afraid I'm growing a little too stout. " George Washington walked around and looked at him with the critical gazeof a butcher appraising a fat ox. "Oh! nor, suh, you aint, not to say _too_ stout, " he finally decided asthe result of this inspection, "you jis gittin' sort o' potely. Hit'smonsus becomin' to you. " "Do you think so?" The Major was manifestly flattered. "I wasapprehensive that I might be growing a trifle fat, "--he turned carefullyaround before the mirror, --"and from a fat old man and a scrawny oldwoman, Heaven deliver us, George Washington!" "Nor, suh, you ain' got a ounce too much meat on you, " said George, reassuringly; "how much you weigh, Marse Nat, last time you was on destilyards?" he inquired with wily interest. The Major faced him. "George Washington, the last time I weighed I tipped the beam at onehundred and forty-three pounds, and I had the waist of a girl. " He laid his fat hands with the finger tips touching on his round sidesabout where the long since reversed curves of the lamented waist oncewere, and gazed at George with comical melancholy. "Dat's so, " assented the latter, with wonted acquiescence. "I 'membershit well, suh, dat wuz when me and you wuz down in Gloucester tryin' togit up spunk to co'te Miss Ailsy Mann. Dat's mo'n thirty years ago. " The Major reflected. "It cannot be thirty years!--thir--ty--years, " hemused. "Yes, suh, an' better, too. 'Twuz befo' we fit de duil wid JedgeCarrington. I know dat, 'cause dat's what we shoot him 'bout--'cause heco'te Miss Ailsy an' cut we out. " "Damn your memory! Thirty years! I could dance all night then--everynight in the week--and now I can hardly mount my horse without gettingthe thumps. " George Washington, affected by his reminiscences, declared that hehad heard one of the ladies saying, "just the other day, " what "a fineportly gentleman" he was. The Major brightened. "Did you hear that? George Washington, if you tell me a lie I'll setyou free!" It was his most terrible threat, used only on occasions ofexceptional provocation. George vowed that no reward could induce him to be guilty of suchan enormity, and followed it up by so skilful an allusion to theprogressing youth of his master that the latter swore he was right, and that he could dance better than he could at thirty, and to prove itexecuted, with extraordinary agility for a man who rode at twenty stone, a _pas seul_ which made the floor rock and set the windows and ornamentsto rattling as if there had been an earthquake. Suddenly, with a loud"Whew, " he flung himself into an arm-chair, panting and perspiring. "It's you, sir, " he gasped--"you put me up to it. " "Nor, suh; tain me, Marse Nat--I's tellin' you de truf, " assertedGeorge, moved to defend himself. "You infernal old rascal, it is you, " panted the Major, still moppinghis face--"you have been running riot so long you need regulation--I'lltell you what I'll do--I'll marry and give you a mistress to manageyou--yes, sir, I'll get married right away. I know the very woman foryou--she'll make you walk chalk!" For thirty years this had been his threat, so George was no more alarmedthan he was at the promise of being sold, or turned loose upon the worldas a free man. He therefore inquired solemnly, "Marse Nat, le' me ax you one thing--you ain' thinkin' 'bout givin' methat ole one for a mistis is you?" "What old one, fool?" The Major stopped panting. George Washingtondenoted the side of his head where Miss Jemima's thin curls nestled. "Get out of this room. Tell Dilsy to pack your chest, I'll send you offto-morrow morning. " George Washington blinked with the gravity of a terrapin. It might havebeen obtuseness; or it might have been silent but exquisite enjoymentwhich lay beneath his black skin. "George Washington, " said the Major almost in a whisper, "what made youthink that?" It was to George Washington's undying credit that not a gleam flittedacross his ebony countenance as he said solemnly, "Marse Nat, I ain say I _think_ nuttin--I jis ax you, Is you?--She beenmeckin mighty partic'lar quiration 'bout de plantation and how manyniggers we got an' all an' I jis spicionate she got her eye sort o' seton you an' me, dat's all. " The Major bounced to his feet, and seizing his hat and gloves from thetable, burst out of the room. A minute later he was shouting for hishorse in a voice which might have been heard a mile. V. Jeff laid to heart the Major's wisdom; but when it came to acting uponit the difficulty arose. He often wondered why his tongue became tiedand his throat grew dry when he was in Margaret's presence these daysand even just thought of saying anything serious to her. He had knownMargaret ever since she was a wee bit of a baby, and had often carriedher in his arms when she was a little girl and even after she grew upto be "right big. " He had thought frequently of late that he would bewilling to die if he might but take her in his arms. It was, therefore, with no little disquietude that he observed what he considered hisfriend's growing fancy for her. By the time Lawrence had taken a fewstrolls in the garden and a horseback ride or two with her Jeff wassatisfied that he was in love with her, and before a week was out he wasconsumed with jealousy. Margaret was not the girl to indulge in repiningon account of her lover's unhappiness. If Jeff had had a finger-ache, orhad a drop of sorrow but fallen in his cup her eyes would havesoftened and her face would have shown how fully she felt with him; butthis--this was different. To wring his heart was a part of the businessof her young ladyhood; it was a healthy process from which would comegreater devotion and more loyal constancy. Then, it was so delightful tomake one whom she liked as she did Jeff look so miserable. Perhaps sometime she would reward him--after a long while, though. Thus, poor Jeffspent many a wretched hour cursing his fate and cursing Pick Lawrence. He thought he would create a diversion by paying desperate attention toMargaret's guest; but it resolved itself on the first opportunity intohis opening his heart and confiding all his woes to her. In doing thishe fell into the greatest contradiction, declaring one moment that noone suspected that he was in love with Margaret, and the next vowingthat she had every reason to know he adored her, as he had been in lovewith her all her life. It was one afternoon in the drawing-room. Rose, with much sapience, assured him that no woman could have but one reasonto know it. Jeff dolefully inquired what it was. Rising and walking up to him she said in a mysterious whisper, --. "Tell her. " Jeff, after insisting that he had been telling her for years, lapsedinto a declaration of helpless perplexity. "How can I tell her more thanI have been telling her all along?" he groaned. Rose said she would showhim. She seated herself on the sofa, spread out her dress and placed himbehind her. "Now, do as I tell you--no, not so, --_so_;--now lean over, --putyour arm--no, it is not necessary to touch me, " as Jeff, with promptapprehension, fell into the scheme, and declared that he was all rightin a rehearsal, and that it was only in the real drama he failed. "Nowsay 'I love you. '" Jeff said it. They were in this attitude when thedoor opened suddenly and Margaret stood facing them, her large eyesopened wider than ever. She backed out and shut the door. Jeff sprang up, his face very red. Lawyers know that the actions of a man on being charged with a crime areby no means infallible evidence of his guilt, --but it is hard to satisfyjuries of this fact. If the juries were composed of women perhaps itwould be impossible. The ocular demonstration of a man's arm around a girl's waist isdifficult to explain on more than one hypothesis. After this Margaret treated Jeff with a rigor which came near destroyingthe friendship of a lifetime; and Jeff became so desperate that insideof a week he had had his first quarrel with Lawrence, who had begun topay very devoted attention to Margaret, and as that young man was in nomood to lay balm on a bruised wound, mischief might have been done hadnot the Major arrived opportunely on the scene just as the quarrelcame to a white-heat. It was in the hall one morning. There had been aquarrel. Jeff had just demanded satisfaction; Lawrence had just promisedto afford him this peculiar happiness, and they were both glaring ateach other, when the Major sailed in at the door, ruddy and smiling, andlaying his hat on the table and his riding-whip across it, declaredthat before he would stand such a gloomy atmosphere as that created by aman's glowering looks, when there was so much sunshine just lying aroundto be basked in, he would agree to be "eternally fried in his own fat. " "Why, I had expected at least two affairs before this, " he saidjovially, as he pulled off his gloves, "and I'll be hanged if I shan'thave to court somebody myself to save the honor of the family. " Jeff with dignity informed him that an affair was then brewing, andLawrence intimated that they were both interested, when the Majordeclared that he would "advise the young lady to discard both and accepta soberer and a wiser man. " They announced that it was a more seriousaffair than he had in mind, and let fall a hint of what had occurred. The Major for a moment looked gravely from one to the other, andsuggested mutual explanations and retractions; but when both young meninsisted that they were quite determined, and proposed to have a meetingat once, he changed. He walked over to the window and looked out for amoment. Then turned and suddenly offered to represent both parties. Jeffaverred that such a proceeding was outside of the Code; this the Majorgravely admitted; but declared that the affair even to this pointappeared not to have been conducted in entire conformity with thatincomparable system of rules, and urged that as Mr. Lawrence was astranger and as it was desirable to have the affair conducted with asmuch secrecy and dispatch as possible, it might be well for them to meetas soon as convenient, and he would attend rather as a witness than as asecond. The young men assented to this, and the Major, now thoroughly inearnest, with much solemnity, offered the use of his pistols, which wasaccepted. In the discussion which followed, the Major took the lead, and suggestedsunset that afternoon as a suitable time, and the grass-plat between thegarden and the graveyard as a convenient and secluded spot. This alsowas agreed to, though Lawrence's face wore a soberer expression than hadbefore appeared upon it. The Major's entire manner had changed; his levity had suddenly givenplace to a gravity most unusual to him, and instead of his wontedjollity his face wore an expression of the greatest seriousness. He, after a casual glance at Lawrence, suddenly insisted that it wasnecessary to exchange a cartel, and opening his secretary, with muchpomp proceeded to write. "You see--if things were not regular it wouldbe butchery, " he explained, considerately, to Lawrence, who wincedslightly at the word. "I don't want to see you murder each other, "he went on in a slow comment as he wrote, "I wish you, since you aredetermined to shoot--each other--to do it like--gentlemen. " He took anew sheet. Suddenly he began to shout, -- "George--George Washington. " There was no answer, so as he wrote on hecontinued to shout at intervals, "George Washington!" After a sufficient period had elapsed for a servant crossing the yardto call to another, who sent a third to summon George, and for thatfunctionary to take a hasty potation from a decanter as he passedthrough the dining-room at his usual stately pace, he appeared at thedoor. "Did you call, suh?" he inquired, with that additional dignity whichbespoke his recourse to the sideboard as intelligibly as if he hadbrought the decanters in his hand. "Did I call!" cried the Major, without looking up. "Why don't you come when you hear me?" George Washington steadied himself on his feet, and assumed an aggrievedexpression. "Do you suppose I can wait for you to drink all the whiskey in mysideboard? Are you getting deaf-drunk as well as blind-drunk?" he asked, still writing industriously. George Washington gazed up at his old master in the picture on the wall, and shook his head sadly. "Nor, suh, Marse Nat. You know I ain' drink none to git drunk. I is amember o' de church. I is full of de sperit. " The Major, as he blotted his paper, assured him that he knew he wasmuch fuller of it than were his decanters, and George Washington wasprotesting further, when his master rose, and addressing Jeff as thechallenger, began to read. He had prepared a formal cartel, and allthe subsequent and consequential documents which appear necessary to awell-conducted and duly bloodthirsty meeting under the duello, andhe read them with an impressiveness which was only equalled by theportentious dignity of George Washington. As he stood balancing himself, and took in the solemn significance of the matter, his whole airchanged; he raised his head, struck a new attitude, and immediatelyassumed the position of one whose approval of the affair was of theutmost moment. The Major stated that he was glad that they had decided to use theregular duelling pistols, not only as they were more convenient--hehaving a very fine, accurate pair--but as they were smooth bore andcarried a good, large ball, which made a clean, pretty hole, withouttearing. "Now, " he explained kindly to Lawrence, "the ball from one ofthese infernal rifled concerns goes gyrating and tearing its way throughyou, and makes an orifice like a _posthole_. " He illustrated his meaningwith a sweeping spiral motion of his clenched fist. Lawrence grew a shade whiter, and wondered how Jeff felt and looked, whilst Jeff set his teeth more firmly as the Major added blandly that"no gentleman wanted to blow another to pieces like a Sepoy mutineer. " George Washington's bow of exaggerated acquiescence drew the Major'sattention to him. "George Washington, are my pistols clean?" he asked. "Yes, suh, clean as yo' shut-front, " replied George Washington, grandly. "Well, clean them again. " "Yes, suh, " and George was disappearing with ponderous dignity, when theMajor called him, "George Washington. " "Yes, suh. " "Tell carpenter William to come to the porch. His services may beneeded, " he explained to Lawrence, "in case there should be a casualty, you know. " "Yes, suh. " George Washington disappeared. A moment later he reopenedthe door. "Marse Nat. " "Sir. " "Shall I send de overseer to dig de graves, suh?" Lawrence could not help exclaiming, "Good----!" and then checkedhimself; and Jeff gave a perceptible start. "I will attend to that, " said the Major, and George Washington went outwith an order from Jeff to take the box to the office. The Major laid the notes on his desk and devoted himself to a briefeulogy on the beautiful symmetry of "the Code, " illustrating hisviews by apt references to a number of instances in which its absoluteimpartiality had been established by the instant death of both parties. He had just suggested that perhaps the two young men might desire tomake some final arrangements, when George Washington reappeared, drunkerand more imposing than before. In place of his ordinary apparel he hadsubstituted a yellowish velvet waistcoat and a blue coat with brassbuttons, both of which were several sizes too large for him, as theyhad for several years been stretched over the Major's ample person. Hecarried a well-worn beaver hat in his hand, which he never donned excepton extraordinary occasions. "De pistils is ready, suh, " he said, in a fine voice, which healways employed when he proposed to be peculiarly effective. Hisself-satisfaction was monumental. "Where did you get that coat and waistcoat from, sir?" thundered theMajor. "Who told you you might have them?" George Washington was quite taken aback at the unexpectedness of theassault, and he shuffled one foot uneasily. "Well, you see, suh, " he began, vaguely, "I know you warn' never gwineto wear 'em no mo', and seein' dat dis was a very serious recasion, an' I wuz rip-ripresentin' Marse Jeff in a jewel, I thought I ought torepear like a gent'man on dis recasion. " "You infernal rascal, didn't I tell you that the next time you took myclothes without asking my permission, I was going to shoot you?" The Major faced his chair around with a jerk, but George Washington hadin the interim recovered himself. "Yes, suh, I remembers dat, " he said, complacently, "but dat didn't haveno recose to dese solemn recasions when I rip-ripresents a gent'man inde Code. " "Yes, sir, it did, I had this especially in mind, " declared the Major, unblushingly--"I gave you fair notice, and damn me! if I don't do ittoo before I'm done with you--I'd sell you to-morrow morning if it wouldnot be a cheat on the man who was fool enough to buy you. My best coatand waistcoat!"--he looked affectionately at the garments. George Washington evidently knew the way to soothe him--"Who ever heahde beat of dat!" he said in a tone of mild complaint, partly to theyoung men and partly to his old master in the ruffles and velvet overthe piano, "Marse Nat, you reckon I ain' got no better manners 'n toteck you _bes'_ coat and weskit! Dis heah coat and weskit nuver did youno favor anyways--I hear Miss Marg'ret talkin' 'bout it de fust time youever put 'em on. Dat's de reason I tuck 'em. " Having found an excuse hewas as voluble as a river--"I say to myself, I ain' gwine let myyoung marster wyar dem things no mo' roun' heah wid strange ladies an'gent'man stayin' in de house too, --an' I so consarned about it, I say, 'George Wash'n'n, you got to git dem things and wyar 'em yo'self to keephim f'om doin' it, dat's what you got to do, ' I say, and dat's de reasonI tuk 'em. " He looked the picture of self-sacrifice. But the Major burst forth on him: "Why, you lying rascal, that's threedifferent reasons you have given in one breath for taking them. "At which George Washington shook his woolly head with dolefulself-abnegation. "Just look at them!" cried the Major--"My favorite waistcoat! There isnot a crack or a brack in them--They look as nice as they did the daythey were bought!" This was too much for George Washington. "Dat's the favor, suh, ofde pussen what has I t 'em on, " he said, bowing grandly; at which theMajor, finding his ire giving way to amusement, drove him from the room, swearing that if he did not shoot him that evening he would set him freeto-morrow morning. VI. As the afternoon had worn away, and whilst the two principals in theaffair were arranging their matters, the Major had been taking everyprecaution to carry out the plan for the meeting. The effect of theapproaching duel upon the old gentleman was somewhat remarkable. He wasin unusually high spirits; his rosy countenance wore an expression ofhumorous content; and, from time to time as he bustled about, a smileflitted across his face, or a chuckle sounded from the depths of hissatin stock. He fell in with Miss Jemima, and related to her a series ofanecdotes respecting duelling and homicide generally, so lurid in theircharacter that she groaned over the depravity of a region where suchbarbarity was practised; but when he solemnly informed her that he feltsatisfied from the signs of the time that some one would be shot in theneighborhood before twenty-four hours were over, the old lady determinedto return home next day. It was not difficult to secure secrecy, as the Major had givendirections that no one should be admitted to the garden. For at least an hour before sunset he had been giving directions toGeorge Washington which that dignitary would have found some difficultyin executing, even had he remained sober; but which, in his existingcondition, was as impossible as for him to change the kinks in his hair. The Major had solemnly assured him that if he got drunk he would shoothim on the spot, and George Washington had as solemnly consented that hewould gladly die if he should be found in this unprecedented condition. Immediately succeeding which, however, under the weight of the momentousmatters submitted to him, he had, after his habit, sought aid andcomfort of his old friends, the Major's decanters, and he was shortly inthat condition when he felt that the entire universe depended upon him. He blacked his shoes at least twenty times, and marched back andforth in the yard with such portentous importance that the servantsinstinctively shrunk away from his august presence. One of the children, in their frolics, ran against him; George Washington simply said, "Gitout my way, " and without pausing in his gait or deigning to look at him, slapped him completely over. A maid ventured to accost him jocularly to know why he was so finelydressed. George Washington overwhelmed her with a look of such infinitecontempt and such withering scorn that all the other servants forthwithfell upon her for "interferin' in Unc' George Wash'n'ton's business. " Atlast the Major entered the garden and bade George Washington followhim; and George Washington having paid his twentieth visit to thedining-room, and had a final interview with the liquor-case, and havingpolished up his old beaver anew, left the office by the side door, carrying under his arm a mahogany box about two feet long and one footwide, partially covered with a large linen cloth. His beaver hat wascocked on the side of his head, with an air supposed to be impressive. He wore the Major's coat and flowered velvet waistcoat respecting whichhe had won so signal a victory in the morning, and he flaunted a largebandanna handkerchief, the ownership of which he had transferred stillmore recently. The Major's orders to George Washington were to conveythe box to the garden in a secret manner, but George Washington was fartoo much impressed with the importance of the part he bore in the affairto lose the opportunity of impressing the other servants. Instead, therefore, of taking a by-path, he marched ostentatiously through theyard with a manner which effected his object, if not his master's, and which struck the entire circle of servants with inexpressible awe. However, after he gained the garden and reached a spot where he was nolonger in danger of being observed by any one, he adopted a mannerof the greatest secrecy, and proceeded to the place selected for themeeting with a degree of caution which could not have been greater hadhe been covertly stealing his way through a band of hostile Indians. Thespot chosen for the meeting was a grass plot bounded on three sidesby shrubbery and on the fourth by the wall of the little square withinwhich had been laid to rest the mortal remains of some half dozengenerations of the Burwells. Though the grass was green and the skyabove was of the deep steely hue which the late afternoon brings; yetthe thick shrubbery which secluded the place gave it an air of wildness, and the tops of the tall monuments gleaming white over the old wallagainst the dark cedars, added an impression of ghostliness which hadlong caused the locality to be generally avoided by the negroes from thetime that the afternoon shadows began to lengthen. George Washington, indeed, as he made his way stealthily down towardsthe rendezvous glanced behind him once or twice as if he were not atall certain that some impalpable pursuer were not following him, and healmost jumped out of his shoes when the Major, who had for ten minutesbeen pacing up and down the grass-plat in a fume of impatience, caughtsight of him and suddenly shouted, "Why don't you come on, you--rascal?" As soon as George Washington recognized that the voice was notsupernatural, he recovered his courage and at once disarmed the Major, who, watch in hand, was demanding if he supposed he had nothing elseto do than to wait for him all night, by falling into his vein andacquiescing in all that he said in abuse of the yet absent duellists, orat least of one of them. He spoke in terms of the severest reprobation of Mr. Lawrence, declaringthat he had never had a high opinion of his courage, or, indeed, of anyquality which he possessed. He was, perhaps, not quite prepared to joinin an attack on Jeff, of whose frequent benefactions he entertained alively recollection amounting to gratitude, at least in the acceptedFrench idea of that virtue, and as he had constituted himself Jeff'sespecial representative for this "solemn recasion, " he felt a personalinterest in defending him to some extent. At last the Major ordered him to take out the weapons and some littletime was spent in handling them, George Washington examining them withthe air of a connoisseur. The Major asserted that he had never seen aprettier spot, and George Washington, immediately striking an attitude, echoed the sentiment. He was, indeed, so transported with its beautythat he declared it reminded him of the duel he and the Major foughtwith Judge Carrington, which he positively declared, was "a jewel likeyou been read about, " and he ended with the emphatic assertion, "Ef desegent'mens jes plump each urr like we did de Judge dat evelin!----"A wave of the hand completed the period. The Major turned on him with a positive denial that he had ever evenshot at the Judge, but George Washington unblushingly insisted that theyhad, and in fact had shot him twice. "We hit him fyah an' squar'. "He levelled a pistol at a tree a few yards distant, and striking anattitude, squinted along the barrel with the air of an old hand at theweapon. The Major reiterated his statement and recalled the fact that, as he hadtold him and others a thousand times, they had shaken hands on the spot, which George Washington with easy adaptability admitted, but claimedthat "ef he hadn't 'a'shook hands we'd 'a'shot him, sho! Dis heregent'man ain' gwine git off quite so easy, " he declared, having alreadydecided that Lawrence was to experience the deadly accuracy of his andJeff's aim. He ended with an unexpected "Hie!" and gave a little lurch, which betrayed his condition, but immediately gathered himself togetheragain. The Major looked at him quizzically as he stood pistols in hand in allthe grandeur of his assumed character. The shadow of disappointment atthe non-appearance of the Juel-lists which had rested on his round face, passed away, and he suddenly asked him which way he thought they hadbetter stand. George Washington twisted his head on one side and, afterstriking a deliberative attitude and looking the plat well over, gavehis judgment. "Ah--so, " said the Major, and bade him step off ten paces. George Washington cocked his hat considerably more to the side, andwith a wave of his hand, caught from the Major, took ten little mincingsteps; and without turning, glanced back over his shoulder and inquired, "Ain' dat mighty fur apart?" The Major stated that it was necessary to give them some chance. Andthis appeared to satisfy him, for he admitted, "Yas, suh, dat's so, dee'bleeged to have a chance, " and immediately marked a point a yard ormore short of that to which he had stepped. ' The Major then announced that he would load the pistols without waitingfor the advent of the other gentlemen, as he "represented both of them. " This was too much for so accomplished an adept at the Code asGeorge Washington, and he immediately asserted that such a thing waspreposterous, asking with some scorn, as he strutted up and down, "Whoever heah o' one gent'man ripresentin' two in a jewel, Marse Nat?" The Major bowed politely. "I was afraid it was a little incompatible, "he said. "Of cose it's incomfatible, " said George Washington. "I ripresents oneand you de t'urr. Dat's de way! I ripresents _Marse Jeff_. I know _he_ain' gwine fly de track. I done know him from a little lad. Dat urrgent'man I ain' know nuttin tall about. You ripresents him. " He wavedhis hand in scorn. "Ah!" said the Major, as he set laboriously about loading the pistols, handling the balls somewhat ostentatiously. George Washington asserted, "I b'lieve I know mo' 'bout the Code 'n youdoes, Marse Nat. " The Major looked at him quizzically as he rammed the ball down hard. Hewas so skilful that George at length added condescendingly, "But I seeyou ain' forgit how to handle dose things. " The Major modestly admitted, as he put on a cap, that he used to be apretty fair shot, and George Washington in an attitude as declarative ofhis pride in the occasion as his inebriated state admitted, was lookingon with an expression of supreme complacency, when the Major levelledthe weapon and sighted along its barrel. George Washington gave a jumpwhich sent his cherished beaver bouncing twenty feet. "Look out, Marse Nat! Don' handle dat thing so keerless, please, suh. " The Major explained that he was just trying its weight, and declaredthat it "came up beautifully;" to which George Washington after he hadregained his damaged helmet assented with a somewhat unsteady voice. TheMajor looked at his watch and up at the trees, the tops of which werestill brightened with the reflection from the sunset sky, and mutteredan objurgation at the failure of the principals to appear, vowing thathe never before knew of a similar case, and that at least he had notexpected Jeff to fail to come to time. George Washington again proudlyannounced that he represented Jeff and that it was "that urr gent'manwhat had done fly de track, that urr gent'man what you ripre-sents, Marse Nat. " He spoke with unveiled contempt. The Major suddenly turned on him. "George Washington!" "Suh!" He faced him. "If my principal fails to appear, I must take his place. The rule is, the second takes the place of his non-appearing principal. " "In cose dat's de rule, " declared George Washington as if it werehis own suggestion; "de secon' tecks de place o' de non-repearin'sprinciple, and dat's what mecks me say what I does, dat man is done runaway, suh, dat's what's de motter wid him. He's jes' nat-chelly skeered. He couldn' face dem things, suh. " He nodded towards the pistols, histhumbs stuck in the armholes of his flowered velvet vest. As the Majorbowed George Washington continued with a hiccough, "He ain' like wegent'mens whar's ust to 'em an' don' mine 'em no mo' 'n pop-crackers. " "George Washington, " said the Major, solemnly, with his eyes seton George Washington's velvet waistcoat, "take your choice of thesepistols. " The old duellist made his choice with due deliberation. The Majorindicated with a wave of his hand one of the spots which George hadmarked for the expected duellists. "Take your stand there, sir. " GeorgeWashington marched grandly up and planted himself with overwhelmingdignity, whilst the Major, with the other pistol in his hand, quietlytook his stand at the other position, facing him. "George, " he said, "George Washington. " "Suh. " George Washington was never so imposing. "My principal, Mr. Pickering Lawrence, having failed to appear at thedesignated time and place to meet his engagement with Mr. JeffersonLewis, I, as his second and representative, offer myself to take hisplace and assume any and all of his obligations. " George Washington bowed grandly. "Yes, suh, of cose, --dat is accordin' to de Code, " he said withsolemnity befitting the occasion. The Major proceeded. "And your principal, Mr. Jefferson Lewis, having likewise failed toappear at the proper time, you take his place. " "Suh, " ejaculated George Washington, in sudden astonishment, turning hishead slightly as if he were not certain he had heard correctly, "MarseNat, jis say dat agin, please, suh?" The Major elevated his voice and advanced his pistol slightly. "I say, your principal, Mr Jefferson Lewis, having in like mannerfailed to put in his appearance at the time and place agreed on for themeeting, you as his representative take his place and assume all hisobligations. " "Oh! nor, suh, I don't!" exclaimed George Washington, shaking his headso violently that the demoralized beaver fell off again and rolledaround unheeded. "I ain' bargain for no sich thing as dat. Nor, suh!" But the Major was obdurate. "Yes, sir, you do. When you accept the position of second, you assumeall the obligations attaching to that position, and----" the Majoradvanced his pistol--"I shall shoot at you. " George Washington took a step towards him. "Oh! goodness! Marse Nat, youain' gwine do nuttin like dat, is you!" His jaw had fallen, and whenthe Major bowed with deep solemnity and replied, "Yes, sir, and you canshoot at me, " he burst out. "Marse Nat, I don' warn' shoot at you. What I warn' shoot at you for? Iain' got nuttin 'ginst you on de fatal uth. You been good master to meall my days an'----" The Major cut short this sincere tribute to hisvirtues, by saying: "Very well, you can shoot or not as you please. Ishall aim at that waistcoat. " He raised his pistol and partially closedone eye. George Washington dropped on his knees. "Oh, Marse Nat, please, suh. What you want to shoot me for? Po' olegood-for-nuttin George Washington, whar ain' nuver done you no harm"(the Major's eye glanced over his blue coat and flowered vest; Georgesaw it), "but jes steal you' whiskey an' you' clo'es an'--Marse Nat, efyou le' me off dis time I oon nuver steal no mo' o' you' clo'es, er you'whiskey, er nuttin. Marse Nat, you wouldn' shoot po' ole good-for-nuttinGeorge Washington, whar fotch' up wid you?" "Yes, sir, I would, " declared the Major, sternly. "I am going to givethe word, and--" he raised the pistol once more. George Washington beganto creep toward him. "Oh, Lordy! Marse Nat, please, suh, don' pint datthing at me dat away--hit's loaded! Oh, Lordy!" he shouted. The Majorbrandished his weapon fiercely. "Stand up, sir, and stop that noise--one--two--three, " he counted, butGeorge Washington was flat on the ground. "Oh, Marse Nat, please, suh, don't. I'se feared o' dem things. " A suddenidea struck him. "Marse Nat, you is about to loss a mighty valuablenigger, " he pleaded; but the Major simply shouted to him to stand up andnot disgrace the gentleman he represented. George Washington seized onthe word; it was his final hope. "Marse Nat, I don't ripresent nobody, suh, nobody at all, suh. I ain'nuttin but a good-for-nuttin, wuthless nigger, whar brung de box downheah cuz you tole me to, suh, dat's all. An' I'll teek off you' coat an'weskit dis minit ef you'll jis le' me git up off de groun', suh. " Jeffsuddenly appeared. George lay spraddled out on the ground as flat asa field lark, but at Jeff's appearance, he sprang behind him. Jeff, inamazement, was inquiring the meaning of all the noise he had heard, whenLawrence appeared on the scene. The Major explained briefly. "It was that redoubtable champion bellowing. As our principals failed toappear on time, he being-an upholder of the Code, suggested that we werebound to take the places respectively of those we represented----" "Nor, suh, I don' ripresent nobody, " interrupted George Washington; butat a look from the Major he dodged again behind Jeff. The Major, withhis eye on Lawrence, said: "Well, gentlemen, let's to business. We have but a few minutes ofdaylight left. I presume you are ready?" Both gentlemen bowed, and the Major proceeded to explain that he hadloaded both pistols himself with precisely similar charges, and thatthey were identical in trigger, sight, drift, and weight, and had beentested on a number of occasions, when they had proved to be "excellentweapons and remarkably accurate in their fire. " The young men bowedsilently; but when he turned suddenly and called "George Washington, "that individual nearly jumped out of his coat. The Major ordered himto measure ten paces, which, after first giving notice that he "didn'tripre-sent nobody, " he proceeded to do, taking a dozen or more giganticstrides, and hastily retired again behind the safe bulwark of Jeff'sback. As he stood there in his shrunken condition, he about as muchresembled the pompous and arrogant duellist of a half-hour previous asa wet and bedraggled turkey does the strutting, gobbling cock of theflock. The Major, with an objurgation at him for stepping "as if he hadon seven league boots, " stepped off the distance himself, explainingto Lawrence that ten paces was about the best distance, as it wassufficiently distant to "avoid the unpleasantness of letting a gentlemanfeel that he was within touching distance, " and yet "near enough toavoid useless mutilation. " Taking out a coin, he announced that he would toss up for the choiceof position, or rather would make a "disinterested person" do so, and, holding out his hand, he called George Washington to toss it up. Therewas no response until the Major shouted, "George Washington, where areyou--you rascal!" "Heah me, suh, " said George Washington, in a quavering voice, risingfrom the ground, where he had thrown himself to avoid any stray bullets, and coming slowly forward, with a pitiful, "Please, suh, don' p'int datthing dis away. " The Major gave him the coin, with an order to toss it up, in a tone sosharp that it made him jump; and he began to turn it over nervouslyin his hand, which was raised a little above his shoulder. In hismanipulation it slipped out of his hand and disappeared. GeorgeWashington in a dazed way looked in his hand, and then on the ground. "Hi! whar' hit?" he muttered, getting down on his knees and searching inthe grass. "Dis heah place is evil-sperited. " The Major called to him to hurry up, but he was too intent on solvingthe problem of the mysterious disappearance of the quarter. "I ain' nuver like dis graveyard bein' right heah, " he murmured. "MarseNat, don' you have no mo' to do wid dis thing. " The Major's patience was giving out. "George Washington, you rascal!" heshouted, "do you think I can wait all night for you to pull up all thegrass in the garden? Take the quarter out of your pocket, sir!" "'Tain' in my pocket, suh, " quavered George Washington, feeling thereinstinctively, however, when the coin slipped down his sleeve intohis hand again. This was too much for him. "Hi! befo' de king, " heexclaimed, "how it git in my pocket? Oh, Marster! de devil is 'boutheah, sho'! Marse Nat, you fling it up, suh. I ain' nuttin but a po'sinful nigger. Oh, Lordy!" And handing over the quarter tremulously, George Washington flung himself flat on the ground and, as a sort ofreligious incantation, began to chant in a wild, quavering tone thefuneral hymn: "Hark! from the tombs a doleful sound. " The Major tossed up and posted the duellists, and with much solemnityhanded them the pistols, which both the two young men received quietly. They were pale, but perfectly steady. The Major then asked them, "Gentlemen, are you ready?" whilst at the omnious sound GeorgeWashington's voice in tremulous falsetto, struck in, "Ye-ee--so-ons off meenn co-ome view-ew the-ee groun', Wher-ere you-ou m--uss' shor-ort-ly lie. " They announced themselves ready just as George Washington, lookingup from the ground, where he, like the "so-ons off meenn, " was lying, discovered that he was not more than thirty yards out of the line ofaim, and with a muttered "Lordy!" began to crawl away. There was a confused murmur from the direction of the path which led tothe house, and the Major shouted, "Fire--one--two--three. " Both young men, facing each other and looking steadily in each other'seyes, with simultaneous action fired their pistols into the air. At the report a series of shrieks rang out from the shrubbery towardsthe house, whilst George Washington gave a wild yell and began to kicklike a wounded bull, bellowing that he was "killed--killed. " The Major had just walked up to the duellists, and, relieving them oftheir weapons, had with a comprehensive wave of the hand congratulatedthem on their courage and urged them to shake hands, which they werein the act of doing, when the shrubbery parted and Margaret, followedclosely by Rose and by Miss Jemima panting behind, rushed in upon them, crying at the tops of their voices, "Stop! Stop!" The two young ladies addressed themselves respectively to Jeff andLawrence, and both were employing all their eloquence when Miss Jemimaappeared. Her eye caught the prostrate form of George Washington, wholay flat on his face kicking and groaning at intervals. She pounced uponthe Major with so much vehemence that he was almost carried away by thesudden onset. "Oh! You wretch! What have you done?" she panted, scarcely able toarticulate. "Done, madam?" asked the Major, gravely. "Yes; what have you done to _that_ poor miserable creature--_there!_"She actually seized the Major and whirled him around with one hand, whilst with the other she pointed at the prostrate and now motionlessGeorge Washington. "What have I been doing with him?" "Yes, with _him_. Have you been carrying out your barbarous rite on hisinoffensive person!" she gasped. The Major's eye lit up. "Yes, madam, " he said, taking up one of the pistols, "and I rejoice thatyou are here to witness its successful termination. George Washingtonhas been selected as the victim this year; his monstrous lies, hishabitual drunken worthlessness, his roguery, culminating in the opentheft to-day of my best coat and waistcoat, marked him naturally as theproper sacrifice. I had not the heart to cheat any one by selling himto him. I was therefore constrained to shoot him. He was, with his usualtriflingness, not killed at the first fire, although he appears to bedead. I will now finish him by putting a ball into his back; observethe shot. " He advanced, and cocking the pistol, "click--click, " stuckit carefully in the middle of George Washington's fat back. Miss Jemimagave a piercing shriek and flung herself on the Major to seize thepistol; but she might have spared herself; for George Washingtonsuddenly bounded from the ground and, with one glance at the levelledweapon, rushed crashing through the shrubbery, followed by the laughterof the young people, the shrieks of Miss Jemima, and the shouts of theMajor for him to come back and let him kill him. That evening, when Margaret, seated on the Major's knee, was rummagingin his vest pockets for any loose change which might be there (which byimmemorial custom belonged to her), she suddenly pulled out two large, round bullets. The Major seized them; but it was too late. When, however, he finally obtained possession of them he presented them toMiss Jemima, and solemnly requested her to preserve them as mementoes ofGeorge Washington's miraculous escape.