THE VICAR OF WAKEFIELD

A TALE

Supposed to be written by Himself

By Oliver Goldsmith

 Sperate miseri, cavete faelices

ADVERTISEMENT

There are an hundred faults in this Thing, and an hundred things mightbe said to prove them beauties. But it is needless. A book may beamusing with numerous errors, or it may be very dull without a singleabsurdity. The hero of this piece unites in himself the three greatestcharacters upon earth; he is a priest, an husbandman, and the father ofa family. He is drawn as ready to teach, and ready to obey, as simplein affluence, and majestic in adversity. In this age of opulence andrefinement whom can such a character please? Such as are fond ofhigh life, will turn with disdain from the simplicity of his countryfire-side. Such as mistake ribaldry for humour, will find no wit in hisharmless conversation; and such as have been taught to deride religion, will laugh at one whose chief stores of comfort are drawn from futurity. 

OLIVER GOLDSMITH

CONTENTS 1. The description of the family of Wakefield; in which a kindred likeness prevails as well of minds as of persons

 2. Family misfortunes. The loss of fortune only serves to increase the pride of the worthy

 3. A migration. The fortunate circumstances of our lives are generally found at last to be of our own procuring

 4. A proof that even the humblest fortune may grant happiness, which depends not on circumstance, but constitution 5. A new and great acquaintance introduced. What we place most hopes upon generally proves most fatal

 6. The happiness of a country fire-side

 7. A town wit described. The dullest fellows may learn to be comical for a night or two

 8. An amour, which promises little good fortune, yet may be productive of much

 9. Two ladies of great distinction introduced. Superior finery ever seems to confer superior breeding

 10. The family endeavours to cope with their betters. The miseries of the poor when they attempt to appear above their circumstances

 11. The family still resolve to hold up their heads

 12. Fortune seems resolved to humble the family of Wakefield. Mortifications are often more painful than real calamities

 13. Mr Burchell is found to be an enemy; for he has the confidence to give disagreeable advice

 14. Fresh mortifications, or a demonstration that seeming calamities may be real blessings

 15. All Mr Burchell's villainy at once detected. The folly of being-over-wise

 16. The Family use art, which is opposed with still greater

 17. Scarce any virtue found to resist the power of long and pleasing temptation 18. The pursuit of a father to reclaim a lost child to virtue

 19. The description of a Person discontented with the present government, and apprehensive of the loss of our liberties

 20. The history of a philosophic vagabond, pursuing novelty, but losing content

 21. The short continuance of friendship among the vicious, which is coeval only with mutual satisfaction

 22. Offences are easily pardoned where there is love at bottom

 23. None but the guilty can be long and completely miserable

 24. Fresh calamities

 25. No situation, however wretched it seems, but has some sort of comfort attending it

 26. A reformation in the gaol. To make laws complete, they should reward as well as punish

 27. The same subject continued

 28. Happiness and misery rather the result of prudence than of virtue in this life. Temporal evils or felicities being regarded by heaven as things merely in themselves trifling and unworthy its care in the distribution

 29. The equal dealings of providence demonstrated with regard to the happy and the miserable here below. That from the nature of pleasure and pain, the wretched must be repaid the balance of their sufferings in the life hereafter

 30. Happier prospects begin to appear. Let us be inflexible, and fortune will at last change in our favour

 31. Former benevolence now repaid with unexpected interest

 32. The Conclusion

CHAPTER 1

The description of the family of Wakefield; in which a kindred likenessprevails as well of minds as of persons

I was ever of opinion, that the honest man who married and brought upa large family, did more service than he who continued single, and onlytalked of population. From this motive, I had scarce taken orders a yearbefore I began to think seriously of matrimony, and chose my wife as shedid her wedding gown, not for a fine glossy surfaces but such qualitiesas would wear well. To do her justice, she was a good-natured notablewoman; and as for breeding, there were few country ladies who could shewmore. She could read any English book without much spelling, but forpickling, preserving, and cookery, none could excel her. She pridedherself also upon being an excellent contriver in house-keeping; tho' Icould never find that we grew richer with all her contrivances. However, we loved each other tenderly, and our fondness encreased as we grew old. There was in fact nothing that could make us angry with the world oreach other. We had an elegant house, situated in a fine country, and agood neighbourhood. The year was spent in moral or rural amusements; invisiting our rich neighbours, and relieving such as were poor. We had norevolutions to fear, nor fatigues to undergo; all our adventures were bythe fire-side, and all our migrations from the blue bed to the brown. 

As we lived near the road, we often had the traveller or stranger visitus to taste our gooseberry wine, for which we had great reputation; andI profess with the veracity of an historian, that I never knew one ofthem find fault with it. Our cousins too, even to the fortieth remove, all remembered their affinity, without any help from the Herald'soffice, and came very frequently to see us. Some of them did us no greathonour by these claims of kindred; as we had the blind, the maimed, andthe halt amongst the number. However, my wife always insisted that asthey were the same flesh and blood, they should sit with us at the sametable. So that if we had not, very rich, we generally had very happyfriends about us; for this remark will hold good thro' life, that thepoorer the guest, the better pleased he ever is with being treated: andas some men gaze with admiration at the colours of a tulip, or the wingof a butterfly, so I was by nature an admirer of happy human faces. However, when any one of our relations was found to be a person of verybad character, a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house, I ever took care to lend him a riding coat, or a pair of boots, or sometimes an horse of small value, and I alwayshad the satisfaction of finding he never came back to return them. Bythis the house was cleared of such as we did not like; but never was thefamily of Wakefield known to turn the traveller or the poor dependentout of doors. 

Thus we lived several years in a state of much happiness, not but thatwe sometimes had those little rubs which Providence sends to enhance thevalue of its favours. My orchard was often robbed by school-boys, and mywife's custards plundered by the cats or the children. The 'Squire wouldsometimes fall asleep in the most pathetic parts of my sermon, or hislady return my wife's civilities at church with a mutilated curtesy. Butwe soon got over the uneasiness caused by such accidents, and usually inthree or four days began to wonder how they vext us. 

My children, the offspring of temperance, as they were educated withoutsoftness, so they were at once well formed and healthy; my sons hardyand active, my daughters beautiful and blooming. When I stood in themidst of the little circle, which promised to be the supports of mydeclining age, I could not avoid repeating the famous story of CountAbensberg, who, in Henry II's progress through Germany, while othercourtiers came with their treasures, brought his thirty-two children, and presented them to his sovereign as the most valuable offering he hadto bestow. In this manner, though I had but six, I considered them as avery valuable present made to my country, and consequently looked uponit as my debtor. Our eldest son was named George, after his uncle, wholeft us ten thousand pounds. Our second child, a girl, I intended tocall after her aunt Grissel; but my wife, who during her pregnancy hadbeen reading romances, insisted upon her being called Olivia. In lessthan another year we had another daughter, and now I was determined thatGrissel should be her name; but a rich relation taking a fancy to standgodmother, the girl was, by her directions, called Sophia; so that wehad two romantic names in the family; but I solemnly protest I had nohand in it. Moses was our next, and after an interval of twelve years, we had two sons more. 

It would be fruitless to deny my exultation when I saw my little onesabout me; but the vanity and the satisfaction of my wife were evengreater than mine. When our visitors would say, 'Well, upon my word, Mrs Primrose, you have the finest children in the whole country. '--'Ay, neighbour, ' she would answer, 'they are as heaven made them, handsomeenough, if they be good enough; for handsome is that handsome does. 'And then she would bid the girls hold up their heads; who, to concealnothing, were certainly very handsome. Mere outside is so very triflinga circumstance with me, that I should scarce have remembered to mentionit, had it not been a general topic of conversation in the country. Olivia, now about eighteen, had that luxuriancy of beauty with whichpainters generally draw Hebe; open, sprightly, and commanding. Sophia'sfeatures were not so striking at first; but often did more certainexecution; for they were soft, modest, and alluring. The one vanquishedby a single blow, the other by efforts successfully repeated. 

The temper of a woman is generally formed from the turn of her features, at least it was so with my daughters. Olivia wished for many lovers, Sophia to secure one. Olivia was often affected from too great a desireto please. Sophia even represt excellence from her fears to offend. Theone entertained me with her vivacity when I was gay, the other withher sense when I was serious. But these qualities were never carried toexcess in either, and I have often seen them exchange characters for awhole day together. A suit of mourning has transformed my coquet into aprude, and a new set of ribbands has given her younger sister more thannatural vivacity. My eldest son George was bred at Oxford, as I intendedhim for one of the learned professions. My second boy Moses, whom Idesigned for business, received a sort of a miscellaneous education athome. But it is needless to attempt describing the particular charactersof young people that had seen but very little of the world. In short, afamily likeness prevailed through all, and properly speaking, theyhad but one character, that of being all equally generous, credulous, simple, and inoffensive. 

CHAPTER 2

Family misfortunes. The loss of fortune only serves to encrease thepride of the worthy

The temporal concerns of our family were chiefly committed to my wife'smanagement, as to the spiritual I took them entirely under my owndirection. The profits of my living, which amounted to but thirty-fivepounds a year, I made over to the orphans and widows of the clergy ofour diocese; for having a sufficient fortune of my own, I was carelessof temporalities, and felt a secret pleasure in doing my duty withoutreward. I also set a resolution of keeping no curate, and of beingacquainted with every man in the parish, exhorting the married men totemperance and the bachelors to matrimony; so that in a few years itwas a common saying, that there were three strange wants at Wakefield, a parson wanting pride, young men wanting wives, and ale-houses wantingcustomers. Matrimony was always one of my favourite topics, and I wroteseveral sermons to prove its happiness: but there was a peculiar tenetwhich I made a point of supporting; for I maintained with Whiston, thatit was unlawful for a priest of the church of England, after the deathof his first wife, to take a second, or to express it in one word, Ivalued myself upon being a strict monogamist. I was early innitiatedinto this important dispute, on which so many laborious volumes havebeen written. I published some tracts upon the subject myself, which, asthey never sold, I have the consolation of thinking are read only by thehappy Few. Some of my friends called this my weak side; but alas! theyhad not like me made it the subject of long contemplation. The more Ireflected upon it, the more important it appeared. I even went a stepbeyond Whiston in displaying my principles: as he had engraven upon hiswife's tomb that she was the only wife of William Whiston; so I wrotea similar epitaph for my wife, though still living, in which I extolledher prudence, oeconomy, and obedience till death; and having gotit copied fair, with an elegant frame, it was placed over thechimney-piece, where it answered several very useful purposes. Itadmonished my wife of her duty to me, and my fidelity to her; itinspired her with a passion for fame, and constantly put her in mind ofher end. 

It was thus, perhaps, from hearing marriage so often recommended, thatmy eldest son, just upon leaving college, fixed his affections upon thedaughter of a neighbouring clergyman, who was a dignitary in the church, and in circumstances to give her a large fortune: but fortune was hersmallest accomplishment. Miss Arabella Wilmot was allowed by all, except my two daughters, to be completely pretty. Her youth, health, and innocence, were still heightened by a complexion so transparent, andsuch an happy sensibility of look, as even age could not gaze on withindifference. As Mr Wilmot knew that I could make a very handsomesettlement on my son, he was not averse to the match; so both familieslived together in all that harmony which generally precedes an expectedalliance. Being convinced by experience that the days of courtshipare the most happy of our lives, I was willing enough to lengthen theperiod; and the various amusements which the young couple every dayshared in each other's company, seemed to encrease their passion. Wewere generally awaked in the morning by music, and on fine days rode ahunting. The hours between breakfast and dinner the ladies devoted todress and study: they usually read a page, and then gazed at themselvesin the glass, which even philosophers might own often presented the pageof greatest beauty. At dinner my wife took the lead; for as she alwaysinsisted upon carving every thing herself, it being her mother's way, she gave us upon these occasions the history of every dish. When we haddined, to prevent the ladies leaving us, I generally ordered the tableto be removed; and sometimes, with the music master's assistance, thegirls would give us a very agreeable concert. Walking out, drinking tea, country dances, and forfeits, shortened the rest of the day, without theassistance of cards, as I hated all manner of gaming, except backgammon, at which my old friend and I sometimes took a two-penny hit. Nor can Ihere pass over an ominous circumstance that happened the last time weplayed together: I only wanted to fling a quatre, and yet I threw deuceace five times running. Some months were elapsed in this manner, tillat last it was thought convenient to fix a day for the nuptials of theyoung couple, who seemed earnestly to desire it. During the preparationsfor the wedding, I need not describe the busy importance of my wife, nor the sly looks of my daughters: in fact, my attention was fixedon another object, the completing a tract which I intended shortly topublish in defence of my favourite principle. As I looked upon this as amaster-piece both for argument and style, I could not in the pride of myheart avoid shewing it to my old friend Mr Wilmot, as I made no doubtof receiving his approbation; but not till too late I discovered thathe was most violently attached to the contrary opinion, and with goodreason; for he was at that time actually courting a fourth wife. This, as may be expected, produced a dispute attended with some acrimony, which threatened to interrupt our intended alliance: but on the daybefore that appointed for the ceremony, we agreed to discuss the subjectat large. It was managed with proper spirit on both sides: he assertedthat I was heterodox, I retorted the charge: he replied, and I rejoined. In the mean time, while the controversy was hottest, I was called out byone of my relations, who, with a face of concern, advised me to give upthe dispute, at least till my son's wedding was over. 'How, ' criedI, 'relinquish the cause of truth, and let him be an husband, alreadydriven to the very verge of absurdity. You might as well advise me togive up my fortune as my argument. ' 'Your fortune, ' returned my friend, 'I am now sorry to inform you, is almost nothing. The merchant in town, in whose hands your money was lodged, has gone off, to avoid a statuteof bankruptcy, and is thought not to have left a shilling in the pound. I was unwilling to shock you or the family with the account tillafter the wedding: but now it may serve to moderate your warmth in theargument; for, I suppose, your own prudence will enforce the necessityof dissembling at least till your son has the young lady's fortunesecure. '--'Well, ' returned I, 'if what you tell me be true, and if I amto be a beggar, it shall never make me a rascal, or induce me todisavow my principles. I'll go this moment and inform the company of mycircumstances; and as for the argument, I even here retract my formerconcessions in the old gentleman's favour, nor will I allow him now tobe an husband in any sense of the expression. '

It would be endless to describe the different sensations of bothfamilies when I divulged the news of our misfortune; but what othersfelt was slight to what the lovers appeared to endure. Mr Wilmot, whoseemed before sufficiently inclined to break off the match, was bythis blow soon determined: one virtue he had in perfection, which wasprudence, too often the only one that is left us at seventy-two. 

CHAPTER 3

A migration. The fortunate circumstances of our lives are generallyfound at last to be of our own procuring

The only hope of our family now was, that the report of our misfortunesmight be malicious or premature: but a letter from my agent in town sooncame with a confirmation of every particular. The loss of fortune tomyself alone would have been trifling; the only uneasiness I felt wasfor my family, who were to be humble without an education to render themcallous to contempt. 

Near a fortnight had passed before I attempted to restrain theiraffliction; for premature consolation is but the remembrancer of sorrow. During this interval, my thoughts were employed on some future means ofsupporting them; and at last a small Cure of fifteen pounds a year wasoffered me in a distant neighbourhood, where I could still enjoy myprinciples without molestation. With this proposal I joyfully closed, having determined to encrease my salary by managing a little farm. 

Having taken this resolution, my next care was to get together thewrecks of my fortune; and all debts collected and paid, out of fourteenthousand pounds we had but four hundred remaining. My chief attentiontherefore was now to bring down the pride of my family to theircircumstances; for I well knew that aspiring beggary is wretchednessitself. 'You cannot be ignorant, my children, ' cried I, 'that noprudence of ours could have prevented our late misfortune; but prudencemay do much in disappointing its effects. We are now poor, my fondlings, and wisdom bids us conform to our humble situation. Let us then, withoutrepining, give up those splendours with which numbers are wretched, andseek in humbler circumstances that peace with which all may be happy. The poor live pleasantly without our help, why then should not we learnto live without theirs. No, my children, let us from this moment give upall pretensions to gentility; we have still enough left for happinessif we are wise, and let us draw upon content for the deficiencies offortune. ' As my eldest son was bred a scholar, I determined to send himto town, where his abilities might contribute to our support and hisown. The separation of friends and families is, perhaps, one of the mostdistressful circumstances attendant on penury. The day soon arrived onwhich we were to disperse for the first time. My son, after taking leaveof his mother and the rest, who mingled their tears with their kisses, came to ask a blessing from me. This I gave him from my heart, andwhich, added to five guineas, was all the patrimony I had now to bestow. 'You are going, my boy, ' cried I, 'to London on foot, in the mannerHooker, your great ancestor, travelled there before you. Take from methe same horse that was given him by the good bishop Jewel, this staff, and take this book too, it will be your comfort on the way: these twolines in it are worth a million, I have been young, and now am old; yetnever saw I the righteous man forsaken, or his seed begging their bread. Let this be your consolation as you travel on. Go, my boy, whatever bethy fortune let me see thee once a year; still keep a good heart, andfarewell. ' As he was possest of integrity and honour, I was under noapprehensions from throwing him naked into the amphitheatre of life; forI knew he would act a good part whether vanquished or victorious. Hisdeparture only prepared the way for our own, which arrived a few daysafterwards. The leaving a neighbourhood in which we had enjoyed so manyhours of tranquility, was not without a tear, which scarce fortitudeitself could suppress. Besides, a journey of seventy miles to a familythat had hitherto never been above ten from home, filled us withapprehension, and the cries of the poor, who followed us for some miles, contributed to encrease it. The first day's journey brought us in safetywithin thirty miles of our future retreat, and we put up for the nightat an obscure inn in a village by the way. When we were shewn a room, Idesired the landlord, in my usual way, to let us have his company, with which he complied, as what he drank would encrease the bill nextmorning. He knew, however, the whole neighbourhood to which I wasremoving, particularly 'Squire Thornhill, who was to be my landlord, andwho lived within a few miles of the place. This gentleman he describedas one who desired to know little more of the world than its pleasures, being particularly remarkable for his attachment to the fair sex. Heobserved that no virtue was able to resist his arts and assiduity, andthat scarce a farmer's daughter within ten miles round but what hadfound him successful and faithless. Though this account gave me somepain, it had a very different effect upon my daughters, whose featuresseemed to brighten with the expectation of an approaching triumph, norwas my wife less pleased and confident of their allurements and virtue. While our thoughts were thus employed, the hostess entered the room toinform her husband, that the strange gentleman, who had been two days inthe house, wanted money, and could not satisfy them for his reckoning. 'Want money!' replied the host, 'that must be impossible; for it was nolater than yesterday he paid three guineas to our beadle to spare anold broken soldier that was to be whipped through the town fordog-stealing. ' The hostess, however, still persisting in her firstassertion, he was preparing to leave the room, swearing that he would besatisfied one way or another, when I begged the landlord would introduceme to a stranger of so much charity as he described. With this hecomplied, shewing in a gentleman who seemed to be about thirty, drest incloaths that once were laced. His person was well formed, and his facemarked with the lines of thinking. He had something short and dry in hisaddress, and seemed not to understand ceremony, or to despise it. Uponthe landlord's leaving the room, I could not avoid expressing my concernto the stranger at seeing a gentleman in such circumstances, and offeredhim my purse to satisfy the present demand. 'I take it with all myheart, Sir, ' replied he, 'and am glad that a late oversight in givingwhat money I had about me, has shewn me that there are still some menlike you. I must, however, previously entreat being informed of thename and residence of my benefactor, in order to repay him as soon aspossible. ' In this I satisfied him fully, not only mentioning my nameand late misfortunes, but the place to which I was going to remove. 'This, ' cried he, 'happens still more luckily than I hoped for, as Iam going the same way myself, having been detained here two days by thefloods, which, I hope, by to-morrow will be found passable. ' I testifiedthe pleasure I should have in his company, and my wife and daughtersjoining in entreaty, he was prevailed upon to stay supper. Thestranger's conversation, which was at once pleasing and instructive, induced me to wish for a continuance of it; but it was now high time toretire and take refreshment against the fatigues of the following day. 

The next morning we all set forward together: my family on horseback, while Mr Burchell, our new companion, walked along the foot-path bythe road-side, observing, with a smile, that as we were ill mounted, hewould be too generous to attempt leaving us behind. As the floodswere not yet subsided, we were obliged to hire a guide, who trottedon before, Mr Burchell and I bringing up the rear. We lightened thefatigues of the road with philosophical disputes, which he seemed tounderstand perfectly. But what surprised me most was, that though he wasa money-borrower, he defended his opinions with as much obstinacy asif he had been my patron. He now and then also informed me to whom thedifferent seats belonged that lay in our view as we travelled the road. 'That, ' cried he, pointing to a very magnificent house which stood atsome distance, 'belongs to Mr Thornhill, a young gentleman who enjoys alarge fortune, though entirely dependent on the will of his uncle, Sir William Thornhill, a gentleman, who content with a little himself, permits his nephew to enjoy the rest, and chiefly resides in town. ''What!' cried I, 'is my young landlord then the nephew of a man whosevirtues, generosity, and singularities are so universally known? I haveheard Sir William Thornhill represented as one of the most generous, yet whimsical, men in the kingdom; a man of consumatebenevolence'--'Something, perhaps, too much so, ' replied Mr Burchell, 'at least he carried benevolence to an excess when young; for hispassions were then strong, and as they all were upon the side of virtue, they led it up to a romantic extreme. He early began to aim at thequalifications of the soldier and scholar; was soon distinguished inthe army and had some reputation among men of learning. Adulationever follows the ambitious; for such alone receive most pleasure fromflattery. He was surrounded with crowds, who shewed him only one side oftheir character; so that he began to lose a regard for private interestin universal sympathy. He loved all mankind; for fortune prevented himfrom knowing that there were rascals. Physicians tell us of a disorderin which the whole body is so exquisitely sensible, that the slightesttouch gives pain: what some have thus suffered in their persons, thisgentleman felt in his mind. The slightest distress, whether real orfictitious, touched him to the quick, and his soul laboured under asickly sensibility of the miseries of others. Thus disposed to relieve, it will be easily conjectured, he found numbers disposed to solicit: hisprofusions began to impair his fortune, but not his good-nature; that, indeed, was seen to encrease as the other seemed to decay: he grewimprovident as he grew poor; and though he talked like a man of sense, his actions were those of a fool. Still, however, being surrounded withimportunity, and no longer able to satisfy every request that was madehim, instead of money he gave promises. They were all he had to bestow, and he had not resolution enough to give any man pain by a denial. By this he drew round him crowds of dependants, whom he was sure todisappoint; yet wished to relieve. These hung upon him for a time, andleft him with merited reproaches and contempt. But in proportion as hebecame contemptable to others, he became despicable to himself. His mindhad leaned upon their adulation, and that support taken away, he couldfind no pleasure in the applause of his heart, which he had neverlearnt to reverence. The world now began to wear a different aspect;the flattery of his friends began to dwindle into simple approbation. Approbation soon took the more friendly form of advice, and advice whenrejected produced their reproaches. He now, therefore found that suchfriends as benefits had gathered round him, were little estimable: henow found that a man's own heart must be ever given to gain that ofanother. I now found, that--that--I forget what I was going to observe:in short, sir, he resolved to respect himself, and laid down a plan ofrestoring his falling fortune. For this purpose, in his own whimsicalmanner he travelled through Europe on foot, and now, though he hasscarce attained the age of thirty, his circumstances are more affluentthan ever. At present, his bounties are more rational and moderate thanbefore; but still he preserves the character of an humourist, and findsmost pleasure in eccentric virtues. '

My attention was so much taken up by Mr Burchell's account, that Iscarce looked forward as we went along, til we were alarmed by the criesof my family, when turning, I perceived my youngest daughter in themidst of a rapid stream, thrown from her horse, and struggling with thetorrent. She had sunk twice, nor was it in my power to disengage myselfin time to bring her relief. My sensations were even too violent topermit my attempting her rescue: she must have certainly perished hadnot my companion, perceiving her danger, instantly plunged in to herrelief, and with some difficulty, brought her in safety to the oppositeshore. By taking the current a little farther up, the rest of thefamily got safely over; where we had an opportunity of joining ouracknowledgments to her's. Her gratitude may be more readily imaginedthan described: she thanked her deliverer more with looks than words, and continued to lean upon his arm, as if still willing to receiveassistance. My wife also hoped one day to have the pleasure of returninghis kindness at her own house. Thus, after we were refreshed at the nextinn, and had dined together, as Mr Burchell was going to a differentpart of the country, he took leave; and we pursued our journey. My wifeobserving as we went, that she liked him extremely, and protesting, thatif he had birth and fortune to entitle him to match into such a familyas our's, she knew no man she would sooner fix upon. I could not butsmile to hear her talk in this lofty strain: but I was never muchdispleased with those harmless delusions that tend to make us morehappy. 

CHAPTER 4

A proof that even the humblest fortune may grant happiness, whichdepends not on circumstance, but constitution

The place of our retreat was in a little neighbourhood, consistingof farmers, who tilled their own grounds, and were equal strangers toopulence and poverty. As they had almost all the conveniencies of lifewithin themselves, they seldom visited towns or cities in search ofsuperfluity. Remote from the polite, they still retained the primaevalsimplicity of manners, and frugal by habit, they scarce knew thattemperance was a virtue. They wrought with cheerfulness on days oflabour; but observed festivals as intervals of idleness and pleasure. They kept up the Christmas carol, sent true love-knots on Valentinemorning, eat pancakes on Shrove-tide, shewed their wit on the first ofApril, and religiously cracked nuts on Michaelmas eve. Being apprized ofour approach, the whole neighbourhood came out to meet their minister, drest in their finest cloaths, and preceded by a pipe and tabor: A feastalso was provided for our reception, at which we sat cheerfully down;and what the conversation wanted in wit, was made up in laughter. 

Our little habitation was situated at the foot of a sloping hill, sheltered with a beautiful underwood behind, and a pratling riverbefore; on one side a meadow, on the other a green. My farm consisted ofabout twenty acres of excellent land, having given an hundred poundfor my predecessor's good-will. Nothing could exceed the neatness of mylittle enclosures: the elms and hedge rows appearing with inexpressiblebeauty. My house consisted of but one story, and was covered withthatch, which gave it an air of great snugness; the walls on the insidewere nicely white-washed, and my daughters undertook to adorn them withpictures of their own designing. Though the same room served us forparlour and kitchen, that only made it the warmer. Besides, as it waskept with the utmost neatness, the dishes, plates, and coppers, beingwell scoured, and all disposed in bright rows on the shelves, the eyewas agreeably relieved, and did not want richer furniture. There werethree other apartments, one for my wife and me, another for our twodaughters, within our own, and the third, with two beds, for the rest ofthe children. 

The little republic to which I gave laws, was regulated in the followingmanner: by sun-rise we all assembled in our common appartment; the firebeing previously kindled by the servant. After we had saluted eachother with proper ceremony, for I always thought fit to keep up somemechanical forms of good breeding, without which freedom ever destroysfriendship, we all bent in gratitude to that Being who gave us anotherday. This duty being performed, my son and I went to pursue our usualindustry abroad, while my wife and daughters employed themselves inproviding breakfast, which was always ready at a certain time. I allowedhalf an hour for this meal, and an hour for dinner; which time was takenup in innocent mirth between my wife and daughters, and in philosophicalarguments between my son and me. 

As we rose with the sun, so we never pursued our labours after it wasgone down, but returned home to the expecting family; where smilinglooks, a treat hearth, and pleasant fire, were prepared for ourreception. Nor were we without guests: sometimes farmer Flamborough, ourtalkative neighbour, and often the blind piper, would pay us a visit, and taste our gooseberry wine; for the making of which we had lostneither the receipt nor the reputation. These harmless people hadseveral ways of being good company, while one played, the other wouldsing some soothing ballad, Johnny Armstrong's last good night, or thecruelty of Barbara Allen. The night was concluded in the manner we beganthe morning, my youngest boys being appointed to read the lessons ofthe day, and he that read loudest, distinctest, and best, was to have anhalf-penny on Sunday to put in the poor's box. 

When Sunday came, it was indeed a day of finery, which all my sumptuaryedicts could not restrain. How well so ever I fancied my lecturesagainst pride had conquered the vanity of my daughters; yet I stillfound them secretly attached to all their former finery: they stillloved laces, ribbands, bugles and catgut; my wife herself retained apassion for her crimson paduasoy, because I formerly happened to say itbecame her. 

The first Sunday in particular their behaviour served to mortify me: Ihad desired my girls the preceding night to be drest early the next day;for I always loved to be at church a good while before the rest of thecongregation. They punctually obeyed my directions; but when we were toassemble in the morning at breakfast, down came my wife and daughters, drest out in all their former splendour: their hair plaistered up withpomatum, their faces patched to taste, their trains bundled up into anheap behind, and rustling at every motion. I could not help smiling attheir vanity, particularly that of my wife, from whom I expected morediscretion. In this exigence, therefore, my only resource was to ordermy son, with an important air, to call our coach. The girls wereamazed at the command; but I repeated it with more solemnity thanbefore. --'Surely, my dear, you jest, ' cried my wife, 'we can walk itperfectly well: we want no coach to carry us now. ' 'You mistake, child, 'returned I, 'we do want a coach; for if we walk to church in this trim, the very children in the parish will hoot after us. '--'Indeed, ' repliedmy wife, 'I always imagined that my Charles was fond of seeing hischildren neat and handsome about him. '--'You may be as neat as youplease, ' interrupted I, 'and I shall love you the better for it, but allthis is not neatness, but frippery. These rufflings, and pinkings, and patchings, will only make us hated by all the wives of all ourneighbours. No, my children, ' continued I, more gravely, 'those gownsmay be altered into something of a plainer cut; for finery is veryunbecoming in us, who want the means of decency. I do not know whethersuch flouncing and shredding is becoming even in the rich, if weconsider, upon a moderate calculation, that the nakedness of theindigent world may be cloathed from the trimmings of the vain. '

This remonstrance had the proper effect; they went with great composure, that very instant, to change their dress; and the next day I had thesatisfaction of finding my daughters, at their own request employed incutting up their trains into Sunday waistcoats for Dick and Bill, thetwo little ones, and what was still more satisfactory, the gowns seemedimproved by this curtailing. 

CHAPTER 5

A new and great acquaintance introduced. What we place most hopes upon, generally proves most fatal

At a small distance from the house my predecessor had made a seat, overshaded by an hedge of hawthorn and honeysuckle. Here, when theweather was fine, and our labour soon finished, we usually satetogether, to enjoy an extensive landscape, in the calm of the evening. Here too we drank tea, which now was become an occasional banquet; andas we had it but seldom, it diffused a new joy, the preparations forit being made with no small share of bustle and ceremony. On theseoccasions, our two little ones always read for us, and they wereregularly served after we had done. Sometimes, to give a variety to ouramusements, the girls sung to the guitar; and while they thus formed alittle concert, my wife and I would stroll down the sloping field, thatwas embellished with blue bells and centaury, talk of our children withrapture, and enjoy the breeze that wafted both health and harmony. 

In this manner we began to find that every situation in life might bringits own peculiar pleasures: every morning waked us to a repetition oftoil; but the evening repaid it with vacant hilarity. 

It was about the beginning of autumn, on a holiday, for I kept such asintervals of relaxation from labour, that I had drawn out my family toour usual place of amusement, and our young musicians began their usualconcert. As we were thus engaged, we saw a stag bound nimbly by, withinabout twenty paces of where we were sitting, and by its panting, itseemed prest by the hunters. We had not much time to reflect upon thepoor animal's distress, when we perceived the dogs and horsemen comesweeping along at some distance behind, and making the very path ithad taken. I was instantly for returning in with my family; but eithercuriosity or surprize, or some more hidden motive, held my wife anddaughters to their seats. The huntsman, who rode foremost, past us withgreat swiftness, followed by four or five persons more, who seemed inequal haste. At last, a young gentleman of a more genteel appearancethan the rest, came forward, and for a while regarding us, instead ofpursuing the chace, stopt short, and giving his horse to a servant whoattended, approached us with a careless superior air. He seemed to wantno introduction, but was going to salute my daughters as one certainof a kind reception; but they had early learnt the lesson of lookingpresumption out of countenance. Upon which he let us know that his namewas Thornhill, and that he was owner of the estate that lay for someextent round us. He again, therefore, offered to salute the female partof the family, and such was the power of fortune and fine cloaths, thathe found no second repulse. As his address, though confident, was easy, we soon became more familiar; and perceiving musical instruments lyingnear, he begged to be favoured with a song. As I did not approve of suchdisproportioned acquaintances, I winked upon my daughters in order toprevent their compliance; but my hint was counteracted by one from theirmother; so that with a chearful air they gave us, a favourite song ofDryden's. Mr Thornhill seemed highly delighted with their performanceand choice, and then took up the guitar himself. He played but veryindifferently; however, my eldest daughter repaid his former applausewith interest, and assured him that his tones were louder than eventhose of her master. At this compliment he bowed, which shereturned with a curtesy. He praised her taste, and she commended hisunderstanding: an age could not have made them better acquainted. While the fond mother too, equally happy, insisted upon her landlord'sstepping in, and tasting a glass of her gooseberry. The whole familyseemed earnest to please him: my girls attempted to entertain him withtopics they thought most modern, while Moses, on the contrary, gave hima question or two from the ancients, for which he had the satisfactionof being laughed at: my little ones were no less busy, and fondly stuckclose to the stranger. All my endeavours could scarce keep their dirtyfingers from handling and tarnishing the lace on his cloaths, andlifting up the flaps of his pocket holes, to see what was there. Atthe approach of evening he took leave; but not till he had requestedpermission to renew his visit, which, as he was our landlord, we mostreadily agreed to. 

As soon as he was gone, my wife called a council on the conduct of theday. She was of opinion, that it was a most fortunate hit; for that shehad known even stranger things at last brought to bear. She hoped againto see the day in which we might hold up our heads with the best ofthem; and concluded, she protested she could see no reason why the twoMiss Wrinklers should marry great fortunes, and her children get none. As this last argument was directed to me, I protested I could see noreason for it neither, nor why Mr Simpkins got the ten thousand poundprize in the lottery, and we sate down with a blank. 'I protest, Charles, ' cried my wife, 'this is the way you always damp my girls andme when we are in Spirits. Tell me, Sophy, my dear, what do you thinkof our new visitor? Don't you think he seemed to begood-natured?'--'Immensely so, indeed, Mamma, ' replied she. 'I think hehas a great deal to say upon every thing, and is never at a loss; andthe more trifling the subject, the more he has to say. '--'Yes, ' criedOlivia, 'he is well enough for a man; but for my part, I don't much likehim, he is so extremely impudent and familiar; but on the guitar he isshocking. ' These two last speeches I interpreted by contraries. I foundby this, that Sophia internally despised, as much as Olivia secretlyadmired him. --'Whatever may be your opinions of him, my children, 'cried I, 'to confess a truth, he has not prepossest me in his favour. Disproportioned friendships ever terminate in disgust; and I thought, notwithstanding all his ease, that he seemed perfectly sensible of thedistance between us. Let us keep to companions of our own rank. There isno character more contemptible than a man that is a fortune-hunter, andI can see no reason why fortune-hunting women should not be contemptibletoo. Thus, at best, we shall be contemptible if his views be honourable;but if they be otherwise! I should shudder but to think of that! Itis true I have no apprehensions from the conduct of my children, but Ithink there are some from his character. '--I would have proceeded, but for the interruption of a servant from the 'Squire, who, with hiscompliments, sent us a side of venison, and a promise to dine with ussome days after. This well-timed present pleaded more powerfully in hisfavour, than any thing I had to say could obviate. I therefore continuedsilent, satisfied with just having pointed out danger, and leaving it totheir own discretion to avoid it. That virtue which requires to be everguarded, is scarce worth the centinel. 

CHAPTER 6

The happiness of a country fire-side

As we carried on the former dispute with some degree of warmth, in orderto accommodate matters, it was universally agreed, that we should havea part of the venison for supper, and the girls undertook the task withalacrity. 'I am sorry, ' cried I, 'that we have no neighbour or strangerto take a part in this good cheer: feasts of this kind acquire a doublerelish from hospitality. '--'Bless me, ' cried my wife, 'here comes ourgood friend Mr Burchell, that saved our Sophia, and that run you downfairly in the argument'--'Confute me in argument, child!' cried I. 'Youmistake there, my dear. I believe there are but few that can do that:I never dispute your abilities at making a goose-pye, and I beg you'llleave argument to me. '--As I spoke, poor Mr Burchell entered the house, and was welcomed by the family, who shook him heartily by the hand, while little Dick officiously reached him a chair. 

I was pleased with the poor man's friendship for two reasons; because Iknew that he wanted mine, and I knew him to be friendly as far as hewas able. He was known in our neighbourhood by the character of the poorGentleman that would do no good when he was young, though he was not yetthirty. He would at intervals talk with great good sense; but in generalhe was fondest of the company of children, whom he used to call harmlesslittle men. He was famous, I found, for singing them ballads, andtelling them stories; and seldom went out without something in hispockets for them, a piece of gingerbread, or an halfpenny whistle. Hegenerally came for a few days into our neighbourhood once a year, andlived upon the neighbours hospitality. He sate down to supper among us, and my wife was not sparing of her gooseberry wine. The tale went round;he sung us old songs, and gave the children the story of the Buckof Beverland, with the history of Patient Grissel, the adventures ofCatskin, and then Fair Rosamond's bower. Our cock, which always crew ateleven, now told us it was time for repose; but an unforeseen difficultystarted about lodging the stranger: all our beds were already taken up, and it was too late to send him to the next alehouse. In this dilemma, little Dick offered him his part of the bed, if his brother Moses wouldlet him lie with him; 'And I, ' cried Bill, 'will give Mr Burchellmy part, if my sisters will take me to theirs. '--'Well done, my goodchildren, ' cried I, 'hospitality is one of the first Christian duties. The beast retires to its shelter, and the bird flies to its nest; buthelpless man can only find refuge from his fellow creature. The greateststranger in this world, was he that came to save it. He never had anhouse, as if willing to see what hospitality was left remaining amongstus. Deborah, my dear, ' cried I, to my wife, 'give those boys a lump ofsugar each, and let Dick's be the largest, because he spoke first. '

In the morning early I called out my whole family to help at savingan after-growth of hay, and, our guest offering his assistance, he wasaccepted among the number. Our labours went on lightly, we turnedthe swath to the wind, I went foremost, and the rest followed in duesuccession. I could not avoid, however, observing the assiduity of MrBurchell in assisting my daughter Sophia in her part of the task. Whenhe had finished his own, he would join in her's, and enter into a closeconversation: but I had too good an opinion of Sophia's understanding, and was too well convinced of her ambition, to be under any uneasinessfrom a man of broken fortune. When we were finished for the day, MrBurchell was invited as on the night before; but he refused, as he wasto lie that night at a neighbour's, to whose child he was carrying awhistle. When gone, our conversation at supper turned upon our lateunfortunate guest. 'What a strong instance, ' said I, 'is that poor manof the miseries attending a youth of levity and extravagance. He by nomeans wants sense, which only serves to aggravate his former folly. Poorforlorn creature, where are now the revellers, the flatterers, thathe could once inspire and command! Gone, perhaps, to attend the bagniopander, grown rich by his extravagance. They once praised him, andnow they applaud the pander: their former raptures at his wit, are nowconverted into sarcasms at his folly: he is poor, and perhaps deservespoverty; for he has neither the ambition to be independent, nor theskill to be useful. ' Prompted, perhaps, by some secret reasons, Idelivered this observation with too much acrimony, which my Sophiagently reproved. 'Whatsoever his former conduct may be, pappa, hiscircumstances should exempt him from censure now. His present indigenceis a sufficient punishment for former folly; and I have heard my pappahimself say, that we should never strike our unnecessary blow at avictim over whom providence holds the scourge of its resentment. '--'Youare right, Sophy, ' cried my son Moses, 'and one of the ancients finelyrepresents so malicious a conduct, by the attempts of a rustic to flayMarsyas, whose skin, the fable tells us, had been wholly stript off byanother. ' Besides, I don't know if this poor man's situation be so badas my father would represent it. We are not to judge of the feelingsof others by what we might feel if in their place. However dark thehabitation of the mole to our eyes, yet the animal itself finds theapartment sufficiently lightsome. And to confess a truth, this man'smind seems fitted to his station; for I never heard any one moresprightly than he was to-day, when he conversed with you. '--This wassaid without the least design, however it excited a blush, which shestrove to cover by an affected laugh, assuring him, that she scarce tookany notice of what he said to her; but that she believed he might oncehave been a very fine gentleman. The readiness with which she undertookto vindicate herself, and her blushing, were symptoms I did notinternally approve; but I represt my suspicions. 

As we expected our landlord the next day, my wife went to make thevenison pasty; Moses sate reading, while I taught the little ones: mydaughters seemed equally busy with the rest; and I observed them fora good while cooking something over the fire. I at first supposed theywere assisting their mother; but little Dick informed me in a whisper, that they were making a wash for the face. Washes of all kinds I had anatural antipathy to; for I knew that instead of mending the complexionthey spoiled it. I therefore approached my chair by sly degrees to thefire, and grasping the poker, as if it wanted mending, seemingly byaccident, overturned the whole composition, and it was too late to beginanother. 

CHAPTER 7

A town wit described. The dullest fellows may learn to be comical for anight or two

When the morning arrived on which we were to entertain our younglandlord, it may be easily supposed what provisions were exhaustedto make an appearance. It may also be conjectured that my wife anddaughters expanded their gayest plumage upon this occasion. Mr Thornhillcame with a couple of friends, his chaplain, and feeder. The servants, who were numerous, he politely ordered to the next ale-house: but mywife, in the triumph of her heart, insisted on entertaining them all;for which, by the bye, our family was pinched for three weeks after. As Mr Burchell had hinted to us the day before, that he was making someproposals of marriage, to Miss Wilmot, my son George's former mistress, this a good deal damped the heartiness of his reception: but accident, in some measure, relieved our embarrasment; for one of the companyhappening to mention her name, Mr Thornhill observed with an oath, thathe never knew any thing more absurd than calling such a fright a beauty:'For strike me ugly, ' continued he, 'if I should not find as muchpleasure in choosing my mistress by the information of a lamp under theclock at St Dunstan's. ' At this he laughed, and so did we:--the jestsof the rich are ever successful. Olivia too could not avoid whispering, loud enough to be heard, that he had an infinite fund of humour. Afterdinner, I began with my usual toast, the Church; for this I was thankedby the chaplain, as he said the church was the only mistress of hisaffections. --'Come tell us honestly, Frank, ' said the 'Squire, with hisusual archness, 'suppose the church, your present mistress, drest inlawnsleeves, on one hand, and Miss Sophia, with no lawn about her, onthe other, which would you be for?' 'For both, to be sure, ' criedthe chaplain. --'Right Frank, ' cried the 'Squire; 'for may this glasssuffocate me but a fine girl is worth all the priestcraft in thecreation. For what are tythes and tricks but an imposition, all aconfounded imposture, and I can prove it. '--'I wish you would, ' cried myson Moses, 'and I think, ' continued he, 'that I should be able to answeryou. '--'Very well, Sir, ' cried the 'Squire, who immediately smoakedhim, ' and winking on the rest of the company, to prepare us for thesport, if you are for a cool argument upon that subject, I am readyto accept the challenge. And first, whether are you for managing itanalogically, or dialogically?' 'I am for managing it rationally, ' criedMoses, quite happy at being permitted to dispute. 'Good again, ' criedthe 'Squire, 'and firstly, of the first. I hope you'll not denythat whatever is is. If you don't grant me that, I can go nofurther. '--'Why, ' returned Moses, 'I think I may grant that, and makethe best of it. '--'I hope too, ' returned the other, 'you'll grant thata part is less than the whole. ' 'I grant that too, ' cried Moses, 'it isbut just and reasonable. '--'I hope, ' cried the 'Squire, 'you willnot deny, that the two angles of a triangle are equal to two rightones. '--'Nothing can be plainer, ' returned t'other, and looked roundwith his usual importance. --'Very well, ' cried the 'Squire, speakingvery quick, 'the premises being thus settled, I proceed to observe, that the concatenation of self existences, proceeding in a reciprocalduplicate ratio, naturally produce a problematical dialogism, which insome measure proves that the essence of spirituality may be referred tothe second predicable'--'Hold, hold, ' cried the other, 'I deny that:Do you think I can thus tamely submit to such heterodoxdoctrines?'--'What, ' replied the 'Squire, as if in a passion, 'notsubmit! Answer me one plain question: Do you think Aristotle rightwhen he says, that relatives are related?' 'Undoubtedly, ' replied theother. --'If so then, ' cried the 'Squire, 'answer me directly to what Ipropose: Whether do you judge the analytical investigation of the firstpart of my enthymem deficient secundum quoad, or quoad minus, and giveme your reasons: give me your reasons, I say, directly. '--'I protest, 'cried Moses, 'I don't rightly comprehend the force of your reasoning;but if it be reduced to one simple proposition, I fancy it may then havean answer. '--'O sir, ' cried the 'Squire, 'I am your most humble servant, I find you want me to furnish you with argument and intellects too. No, sir, there I protest you are too hard for me. ' This effectually raisedthe laugh against poor Moses, who sate the only dismal figure in agroupe of merry faces: nor, did he offer a single syllable more duringthe whole entertainment. 

But though all this gave me no pleasure, it had a very different effectupon Olivia, who mistook it for humour, though but a mere act of thememory. She thought him therefore a very fine gentleman; and such asconsider what powerful ingredients a good figure, fine cloaths, andfortune, are in that character, will easily forgive her. Mr Thornhill, notwithstanding his real ignorance, talked with ease, and couldexpatiate upon the common topics of conversation with fluency. It is notsurprising then that such talents should win the affections of a girl, who by education was taught to value an appearance in herself, andconsequently to set a value upon it in another. 

Upon his departure, we again entered into a debate upon the merits ofour young landlord. As he directed his looks and conversation to Olivia, it was no longer doubted but that she was the object that induced him tobe our visitor. Nor did she seem to be much displeased at the innocentraillery of her brother and sister upon this occasion. Even Deborahherself seemed to share the glory of the day, and exulted in herdaughter's victory as if it were her own. 'And now, my dear, ' criedshe to me, 'I'll fairly own, that it was I that instructed my girls toencourage our landlord's addresses. I had always some ambition, andyou now see that I was right; for who knows how this may end?' 'Ay, whoknows that indeed, ' answered I, with a groan: 'for my part I don't muchlike it; and I could have been better pleased with one that was poor andhonest, than this fine gentleman with his fortune and infidelity; fordepend on't, if he be what I suspect him, no free-thinker shall everhave a child of mine. ' 'Sure, father, ' cried Moses, 'you are too severein this; for heaven will never arraign him for what he thinks, but forwhat he does. Every man has a thousand vicious thoughts, which arisewithout his power to suppress. Thinking freely of religion, may beinvoluntary with this gentleman: so that allowing his sentiments to bewrong, yet as he is purely passive in his assent, he is no more to beblamed for his errors than the governor of a city without walls for theshelter he is obliged to afford an invading enemy. '

'True, my son, ' cried I; 'but if the governor invites the enemy, therehe is justly culpable. And such is always the case with those whoembrace error. The vice does not lie in assenting to the proofs theysee; but in being blind to many of the proofs that offer. So that, though our erroneous opinions be involuntary when formed, yet as we havebeen wilfully corrupt, or very negligent in forming them, we deservepunishment for our vice, or contempt for our folly. ' My wife now keptup the conversation, though not the argument: she observed, that severalvery prudent men of our acquaintance were free-thinkers, and made verygood husbands; and she knew some sensible girls that had skill enough tomake converts of their spouses: 'And who knows, my dear, ' continued she, 'what Olivia may be able to do. The girl has a great deal to say uponevery subject, and to my knowledge is very well skilled in controversy. '

'Why, my dear, what controversy can she have read?' cried I. 'It doesnot occur to me that I ever put such books into her hands: you certainlyover-rate her merit. ' 'Indeed, pappa, ' replied Olivia, 'she does not: Ihave read a great deal of controversy. I have read the disputes betweenThwackum and Square; the controversy between Robinson Crusoe andFriday the savage, and I am now employed in reading the controversy inReligious courtship'--'Very well, ' cried I, 'that's a good girl, I findyou are perfectly qualified for making converts, and so go help yourmother to make the gooseberry-pye. '

CHAPTER 8

An amour, which promises little good fortune, yet may be productive ofmuch

The next morning we were again visited by Mr Burchell, though I began, for certain reasons, to be displeased with the frequency of his return;but I could not refuse him my company and fire-side. It is true hislabour more than requited his entertainment; for he wrought among uswith vigour, and either in the meadow or at the hay-rick put himselfforemost. Besides, he had always something amusing to say that lessenedour toil, and was at once so out of the way, and yet so sensible, thatI loved, laughed at, and pitied him. My only dislike arose from anattachment he discovered to my daughter: he would, in a jesting manner, call her his little mistress, and when he bought each of the girls aset of ribbands, hers was the finest. I knew not how, but he every dayseemed to become more amiable, his wit to improve, and his simplicity toassume the superior airs of wisdom. 

Our family dined in the field, and we sate, or rather reclined, round atemperate repast, our cloth spread upon the hay, while Mr Burchell gavecheerfulness to the feast. To heighten our satisfaction two blackbirdsanswered each other from opposite hedges, the familiar redbreast cameand pecked the crumbs from our hands, and every sound seemed but theecho of tranquillity. 'I never sit thus, ' says Sophia, 'but I think ofthe two lovers, so sweetly described by Mr Gay, who were struck dead ineach other's arms. There is something so pathetic in the description, that I have read it an hundred times with new rapture. '--'In myopinion, ' cried my son, 'the finest strokes in that description are muchbelow those in the Acis and Galatea of Ovid. The Roman poet understandsthe use of contrast better, and upon that figure artfully managedall strength in the pathetic depends. '--'It is remarkable, ' cried MrBurchell, 'that both the poets you mention have equally contributed tointroduce a false taste into their respective countries, by loading alltheir lines with epithet. Men of little genius found them most easilyimitated in their defects, and English poetry, like that in the latterempire of Rome, is nothing at present but a combination of luxuriantimages, without plot or connexion; a string of epithets that improve thesound, without carrying on the sense. But perhaps, madam, while Ithus reprehend others, you'll think it just that I should give them anopportunity to retaliate, and indeed I have made this remark only tohave an opportunity of introducing to the company a ballad, which, whatever be its other defects, is I think at least free from those Ihave mentioned. '

A BALLAD. 

'Turn, gentle hermit of the dale, And guide my lonely way, To where yontaper cheers the vale, With hospitable ray. 

'For here forlorn and lost I tread, With fainting steps and slow; Wherewilds immeasurably spread, Seem lengthening as I go. '

'Forbear, my son, ' the hermit cries, 'To tempt the dangerous gloom; Foryonder faithless phantom flies To lure thee to thy doom. 

'Here to the houseless child of want, My door is open still; And tho' myportion is but scant, I give it with good will. 

'Then turn to-night, and freely share Whate'er my cell bestows; My rushycouch, and frugal fare, My blessing and repose. 

'No flocks that range the valley free, To slaughter I condemn: Taught bythat power that pities me, I learn to pity them. 

'But from the mountain's grassy side, A guiltless feast I bring; A scripwith herbs and fruits supply'd, And water from the spring. 

'Then, pilgrim, turn, thy cares forego; All earth-born cares are wrong:Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little long. '

Soft as the dew from heav'n descends, His gentle accents fell: Themodest stranger lowly bends, And follows to the cell. 

Far in a wilderness obscure The lonely mansion lay; A refuge to theneighbouring poor, And strangers led astray. 

No stores beneath its humble thatch Requir'd a master's care; The wicketopening with a latch, Receiv'd the harmless pair. 

And now when busy crowds retire To take their evening rest, The hermittrimm'd his little fire, And cheer'd his pensive guest:

And spread his vegetable store, And gayly prest, and smil'd; And skill'din legendary lore, The lingering hours beguil'd. 

Around in sympathetic mirth Its tricks the kitten tries, The cricketchirrups in the hearth; The crackling faggot flies. 

But nothing could a charm impart To sooth the stranger's woe; For griefwas heavy at his heart, And tears began to flow. 

His rising cares the hermit spy'd, With answering care opprest: 'Andwhence, unhappy youth, ' he cry'd, 'The sorrows of thy breast?

'From better habitations spurn'd, Reluctant dost thou rove; Or grievefor friendship unreturn'd, Or unregarded love?

'Alas! the joys that fortune brings, Are trifling and decay; And thosewho prize the paltry things, More trifling still than they. 

'And what is friendship but a name, A charm that lulls to sleep; A shadethat follows wealth or fame, But leaves the wretch to weep?

'And love is still an emptier sound, The modern fair one's jest: Onearth unseen, or only found To warm the turtle's nest. 

'For shame fond youth thy sorrows hush And spurn the sex, ' he said: Butwhile he spoke a rising blush His love-lorn guest betray'd. 

Surpriz'd he sees new beauties rise, Swift mantling to the view; Likecolours o'er the morning skies, As bright, as transient too. 

The bashful look, the rising breast, Alternate spread alarms: The lovelystranger stands confest A maid in all her charms. 

'And, ah, 'forgive a stranger rude, A wretch forlorn, ' she cry'd; 'Whosefeet unhallowed thus intrude Where heaven and you reside. 

'But let a maid thy pity share, Whom love has taught to stray; Who seeksfor rest, but finds despair Companion of her way. 

'My father liv'd beside the Tyne, A wealthy Lord was he; And all hiswealth was mark'd as mine, He had but only me. 

'To win me from his tender arms, Unnumber'd suitors came; Who prais'd mefor imputed charms, And felt or feign'd a flame. 

'Each hour a mercenary crowd, With richest proffers strove: Among therest young Edwin bow'd, But never talk'd of love. 

'In humble simplest habit clad, No wealth nor power had he; Wisdom andworth were all he had, But these were all to me. 

'The blossom opening to the day, The dews of heaven refin'd, Couldnought of purity display, To emulate his mind. 

'The dew, the blossom on the tree, With charms inconstant shine; Theircharms were his, but woe to me, Their constancy was mine. 

'For still I try'd each fickle art, Importunate and vain; And while hispassion touch'd my heart, I triumph'd in his pain. 

'Till quite dejected with my scorn, He left me to my pride; And sought asolitude forlorn, In secret where he died. 

'But mine the sorrow, mine the fault, And well my life shall pay; I'llseek the solitude he sought, And stretch me where he lay. 

'And there forlorn despairing hid, I'll lay me down and die: 'Twas sofor me that Edwin did, And so for him will I. '

'Forbid it heaven!' the hermit cry'd, And clasp'd her to his breast: Thewondering fair one turn'd to chide, 'Twas Edwin's self that prest. 

'Turn, Angelina, ever dear, My charmer, turn to see, Thy own, thylong-lost Edwin here, Restor'd to love and thee. 

'Thus let me hold thee to my heart, And ev'ry care resign: And shall wenever, never part, My life, --my all that's mine. 

'No, never, from this hour to part, We'll live and love so true; Thesigh that tends thy constant heart, Shall break thy Edwin's too. '

While this ballad was reading, Sophia seemed to mix an air of tendernesswith her approbation. But our tranquillity was soon disturbed bythe report of a gun just by us, and immediately after a man was seenbursting through the hedge, to take up the game he had killed. Thissportsman was the 'Squire's chaplain, who had shot one of the blackbirdsthat so agreeably entertained us. So loud a report, and so near, startled my daughters; and I could perceive that Sophia in the frighthad thrown herself into Mr Burchell's arms for protection. The gentlemancame up, and asked pardon for having disturbed us, affirming that hewas ignorant of our being so near. He therefore sate down by my youngestdaughter, and, sportsman like, offered her what he had killed thatmorning. She was going to refuse, but a private look from her mothersoon induced her to correct the mistake, and accept his present, thoughwith some reluctance. My wife, as usual, discovered her pride in awhisper, observing, that Sophy had made a conquest of the chaplain, aswell as her sister had of the 'Squire. I suspected, however, with moreprobability, that her affections were placed upon a different object. The chaplain's errand was to inform us, that Mr Thornhill had providedmusic and refreshments, and intended that night giving the young ladiesa ball by moon-light, on the grass-plot before our door. 'Nor can Ideny, ' continued he, 'but I have an interest in being first to deliverthis message, as I expect for my reward to be honoured with miss Sophy'shand as a partner. ' To this my girl replied, that she should have noobjection, if she could do it with honour: 'But here, ' continued she, 'is a gentleman, ' looking at Mr Burchell, 'who has been my companion inthe task for the day, and it is fit he should share in its amusements. 'Mr Burchell returned her a compliment for her intentions; but resignedher up to the chaplain, adding that he was to go that night five miles, being invited to an harvest supper. His refusal appeared to me alittle extraordinary, nor could I conceive how so sensible a girl asmy youngest, could thus prefer a man of broken fortunes to onewhose expectations were much greater. But as men are most capable ofdistinguishing merit in women, so the ladies often form the truestjudgments of us. The two sexes seem placed as spies upon each other, andare furnished with different abilities, adapted for mutual inspection. 

CHAPTER 9

Two ladies of great distinction introduced. Superior finery ever seemsto confer superior breeding

Mr Burchell had scarce taken leave, and Sophia consented to dance withthe chaplain, when my little ones came running out to tell us that the'Squire was come, with a crowd of company. Upon our return, we found ourlandlord, with a couple of under gentlemen and two young ladies richlydrest, whom he introduced as women of very great distinction and fashionfrom town. We happened not to have chairs enough for the whole company;but Mr Thornhill immediately proposed that every gentleman should sit ina lady's lap. This I positively objected to, notwithstanding a look ofdisapprobation from my wife. Moses was therefore dispatched to borrow acouple of chairs; and as we were in want of ladies to make up a set atcountry dances, the two gentlemen went with him in quest of a couple ofpartners. Chairs and partners were soon provided. The gentlemen returnedwith my neighbour Flamborough's rosy daughters, flaunting with redtop-knots, but an unlucky circumstance was not adverted to; though theMiss Flamboroughs were reckoned the very best dancers in the parish, and understood the jig and the round-about to perfection; yet they weretotally unacquainted with country dances. ' This at first discomposed us:however, after a little shoving and dragging, they at last went merrilyon. Our music consisted of two fiddles, with a pipe and tabor. The moonshone bright, Mr Thornhill and my eldest daughter led up the ball, tothe great delight of the spectators; for the neighbours hearing what wasgoing forward, came flocking about us. My girl moved with so much graceand vivacity, that my wife could not avoid discovering the pride of herheart, by assuring me, that though the little chit did it so cleverly, all the steps were stolen from herself. The ladies of the town strovehard to be equally easy, but without success. They swam, sprawled, languished, and frisked; but all would not do: the gazers indeed ownedthat it was fine; but neighbour Flamborough observed, that Miss Livy'sfeet seemed as pat to the music as its echo. After the dance hadcontinued about an hour, the two ladies, who were apprehensive ofcatching cold, moved to break up the ball. One of them, I thought, expressed her sentiments upon this occasion in a very coarse manner, when she observed, that by the living jingo, she was all of a muckof sweat. Upon our return to the house, we found a very elegant coldsupper, which Mr Thornhill had ordered to be brought with him. Theconversation at this time was more reserved than before. The two ladiesthrew my girls quite into the shade; for they would talk of nothing buthigh life, and high lived company; with other fashionable topics, suchas pictures, taste, Shakespear, and the musical glasses. 'Tis true theyonce or twice mortified us sensibly by slipping out an oath; but thatappeared to me as the surest symptom of their distinction, (tho' I amsince informed that swearing is perfectly unfashionable. ) Their finery, however, threw a veil over any grossness in their conversation. Mydaughters seemed to regard their superior accomplishments with envy; andwhat appeared amiss was ascribed to tip-top quality breeding. Butthe condescension of the ladies was still superior to their otheraccomplishments. One of them observed, that had miss Olivia seen alittle more of the world, it would greatly improve her. To which theother added, that a single winter in town would make her little Sophiaquite another thing. My wife warmly assented to both; adding, that therewas nothing she more ardently wished than to give her girls a singlewinter's polishing. To this I could not help replying, that theirbreeding was already superior to their fortune; and that greaterrefinement would only serve to make their poverty ridiculous, and givethem a taste for pleasures they had no right to possess. --'And whatpleasures, ' cried Mr Thornhill, 'do they not deserve to possess, whohave so much in their power to bestow? As for my part, ' continued he, 'my fortune is pretty large, love, liberty, and pleasure, are my maxims;but curse me if a settlement of half my estate could give my charmingOlivia pleasure, it should be hers; and the only favour I would ask inreturn would be to add myself to the benefit. ' I was not such a strangerto the world as to be ignorant that this was the fashionable cant todisguise the insolence of the basest proposal; but I made an effortto suppress my resentment. 'Sir, ' cried I, 'the family which you nowcondescend to favour with your company, has been bred with as nice asense of honour as you. Any attempts to injure that, may be attendedwith very dangerous consequences. Honour, Sir, is our only possession atpresent, and of that last treasure we must be particularly careful. '--Iwas soon sorry for the warmth with which I had spoken this, when theyoung gentleman, grasping my hand, swore he commended my spirit, thoughhe disapproved my suspicions. 'As to your present hint, ' continued he, 'I protest nothing was farther from my heart than such a thought. No, by all that's tempting, the virtue that will stand a regular siege wasnever to my taste; for all my amours are carried by a coup de main. '

The two ladies, who affected to be ignorant of the rest, seemed highlydispleased with this last stroke of freedom, and began a very discreetand serious dialogue upon virtue: in this my wife, the chaplain, and I, soon joined; and the 'Squire himself was at last brought to confess asense of sorrow for his former excesses. We talked of the pleasures oftemperance, and of the sun-shine in the mind unpolluted with guilt. Iwas so well pleased, that my little ones were kept up beyond the usualtime to be edified by so much good conversation. Mr Thornhill even wentbeyond me, and demanded if I had any objection to giving prayers. Ijoyfully embraced the proposal, and in this manner the night was passedin a most comfortable way, till at last the company began to think ofreturning. The ladies seemed very unwilling to part with my daughters;for whom they had conceived a particular affection, and joined in arequest to have the pleasure of their company home. The 'Squire secondedthe proposal, and my wife added her entreaties: the girls too lookedupon me as if they wished to go. In this perplexity I made two or threeexcuses, which my daughters as readily removed; so that at last I wasobliged to give a peremptory refusal; for which we had nothing butsullen looks and short answers the whole day ensuing. 

CHAPTER 10

The family endeavours to cope with their betters. The miseries of thepoor when they attempt to appear above their circumstances

I now began to find that all my long and painful lectures upontemperance, simplicity, and contentment, were entirely disregarded. Thedistinctions lately paid us by our betters awaked that pride which Ihad laid asleep, but not removed. Our windows again, as formerly, werefilled with washes for the neck and face. The sun was dreaded as anenemy to the skin without doors, and the fire as a spoiler of thecomplexion within. My wife observed, that rising too early would hurther daughters' eyes, that working after dinner would redden their noses, and she convinced me that the hands never looked so white as when theydid nothing. Instead therefore of finishing George's shirts, we now hadthem new modelling their old gauzes, or flourishing upon catgut. Thepoor Miss Flamboroughs, their former gay companions, were cast off asmean acquaintance, and the whole conversation ran upon high life andhigh lived company, with pictures, taste, Shakespear, and the musicalglasses. 

But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling gypsey cometo raise us into perfect sublimity. The tawny sybil no sooner appeared, than my girls came running to me for a shilling a piece to cross herhand with silver. To say the truth, I was tired of being always wise, and could not help gratifying their request, because I loved to see themhappy. I gave each of them a shilling; though, for the honour ofthe family, it must be observed, that they never went without moneythemselves, as my wife always generously let them have a guinea each, tokeep in their pockets; but with strict injunctions never to change it. After they had been closetted up with the fortune-teller for some time, I knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had been promisedsomething great. --'Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me, Livy, hasthe fortune-teller given thee a pennyworth?'--'I protest, pappa, ' saysthe girl, 'I believe she deals with some body that's not right; for shepositively declared, that I am to be married to a 'Squire in less than atwelvemonth!'--'Well now, Sophy, my child, ' said I, 'and what sort of ahusband are you to have?' 'Sir, ' replied she, 'I am to have a Lord soonafter my sister has married the 'Squire. '--'How, ' cried I, 'is that allyou are to have for your two shillings! Only a Lord and a 'Squire fortwo shillings! You fools, I could have promised you a Prince and a Nabobfor half the money. ' This curiosity of theirs, however, was attendedwith very serious effects: we now began to think ourselves designedby the stars for something exalted, and already anticipated our futuregrandeur. It has been a thousand times observed, and I must observe itonce more, that the hours we pass with happy prospects in view, are morepleasing than those crowned with fruition. In the first case we cook thedish to our own appetite; in the latter nature cooks it for us. It isimpossible to repeat the train of agreeable reveries we called up forour entertainment. We looked upon our fortunes as once more rising;and as the whole parish asserted that the 'Squire was in love with mydaughter, she was actually so with him; for they persuaded her into thepassion. In this agreeable interval, my wife had the most lucky dreamsin the world, which she took care to tell us every morning, with greatsolemnity and exactness. It was one night a coffin and cross bones, the sign of an approaching wedding: at another time she imagined herdaughters' pockets filled with farthings, a certain sign of their beingshortly stuffed with gold. The girls themselves had their omens. Theyfelt strange kisses on their lips; they saw rings in the candle, pursesbounced from the fire, and true love-knots lurked in the bottom of everytea-cup. 

Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies;in which, with their compliments, they hoped to see all our family atchurch the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, inconsequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together, and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be sincere, I had strong suspicions that some absurd proposal waspreparing for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening theybegan their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertookto conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she beganthus. --'I fancy, Charles, my dear, we shall have a great deal of goodcompany at our church to-morrow, '--'Perhaps we may, my dear, ' returnedI; 'though you need be under no uneasiness about that, you shall have asermon whether there be or not. '--'That is what I expect, ' returned she;'but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as possible, for who knows what may happen?' 'Your precautions, ' replied I, 'arehighly commendable. A decent behaviour and appearance in church is whatcharms me. We should be devout and humble, chearful and serene. '--'Yes, 'cried she, 'I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper amanner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us. ' 'You arequite right, my dear, ' returned I, 'and I was going to make the verysame proposal. The proper manner of going is, to go there as earlyas possible, to have time for meditation before the servicebegins. '--'Phoo, Charles, ' interrupted she, 'all that is very true; butnot what I would be at. I mean, we should go there genteelly. Youknow the church is two miles off, and I protest I don't like to see mydaughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and, looking for all the world as if they had been winners at a smockrace. Now, my dear, my proposal is this: there are our two plow horses, the Colt that has been in our family these nine years, and his companionBlackberry, that have scarce done an earthly thing for this month past. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do something aswell as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure. ' To this proposal I objected, that walking would be twenty times more genteel than such a paltryconveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the Colt wanted a tail:that they had never been broke to the rein; but had an hundred vicioustricks; and that we had but one saddle and pillion in the whole house. All these objections, however, were over-ruled; so that I was obligedto comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little busy incollecting such materials as might be necessary for the expedition; butas I found it would be a business of time, I walked on to the churchbefore, and they promised speedily to follow. I waited near an hourin the reading desk for their arrival; but not finding them come asexpected, I was obliged to begin, and went through the service, notwithout some uneasiness at finding them absent. This was encreased whenall was finished, and no appearance of the family. I therefore walkedback by the horse-way, which was five miles round, tho' the foot-waywas but two, and when got about half way home, perceived the processionmarching slowly forward towards the church; my son, my wife, and the twolittle ones exalted upon one horse, and my two daughters upon the other. I demanded the cause of their delay; but I soon found by their looksthey had met with a thousand misfortunes on the road. The horses had atfirst refused to move from the door, till Mr Burchell was kind enough tobeat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next thestraps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to stopto repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of the horsestook it into his head to stand still, and neither blows nor entreatiescould prevail with him to proceed. It was just recovering from thisdismal situation that I found them; but perceiving every thing safe, Iown their present mortification did not much displease me, as it wouldgive me many opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughtersmore humility. 

CHAPTER 11

The family still resolve to hold up their heads

Michaelmas eve happening on the next day, we were invited to burn nutsand play tricks at neighbour Flamborough's. Our late mortifications hadhumbled us a little, or it is probable we might have rejected such aninvitation with contempt: however, we suffered ourselves to behappy. Our honest neighbour's goose and dumplings were fine, and thelamb's-wool, even in the opinion of my wife, who was a connoiseur, wasexcellent. It is true, his manner of telling stories was not quite sowell. They were very long, and very dull, and all about himself, and wehad laughed at them ten times before: however, we were kind enough tolaugh at them once more. 

Mr Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of seeing someinnocent amusement going forward, and set the boys and girls to blindman's buff. My wife too was persuaded to join in the diversion, and itgave me pleasure to think she was not yet too old. In the mean time, myneighbour and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praised our owndexterity when we were young. Hot cockles succeeded next, questionsand commands followed that, and last of all, they sate down to huntthe slipper. As every person may not be acquainted with this primaevalpastime, it may be necessary to observe, that the company at this playthemselves in a ring upon the ground, all, except one who stands in themiddle, whose business it is to catch a shoe, which the company shoveabout under their hams from one to another, something like a weaver'sshuttle. As it is impossible, in this case, for the lady who is upto face all the company at once, the great beauty of the play lies inhitting her a thump with the heel of the shoe on that side least capableof making a defence. It was in this manner that my eldest daughter washemmed in, and thumped about, all blowzed, in spirits, and bawling forfair play, fair play, with a voice that might deafen a ballad singer, when confusion on confusion, who should enter the room but our two greatacquaintances from town, Lady Blarney and Miss Carolina Wilelmina AmeliaSkeggs! Description would but beggar, therefore it is unnecessary todescribe this new mortification. Death! To be seen by ladies of suchhigh breeding in such vulgar attitudes! Nothing better could ensue fromsuch a vulgar play of Mr Flamborough's proposing. We seemed stuck to theground for some time, as if actually petrified with amazement. 

The two ladies had been at our house to see us, and finding us fromhome, came after us hither, as they were uneasy to know what accidentcould have kept us from church the day before. Olivia undertook to beour prolocutor, and delivered the whole in a summary way, only saying, 'We were thrown from our horses. ' At which account the ladies weregreatly concerned; but being told the family received no hurt, they wereextremely glad: but being informed that we were almost killed by thefright, they were vastly sorry; but hearing that we had a very goodnight, they were extremely glad again. Nothing could exceed theircomplaisance to my daughters; their professions the last evening werewarm, but now they were ardent. They protested a desire of having a morelasting acquaintance. Lady Blarney was particularly attached to Olivia;Miss Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name)took a greater fancy to her sister. They supported the conversationbetween themselves, while my daughters sate silent, admiring theirexalted breeding. But as every reader, however beggarly himself, is fondof high-lived dialogues, with anecdotes of Lords, Ladies, and Knightsof the Garter, I must beg leave to give him the concluding part ofthe present conversation. 'All that I know of the matter, ' cried MissSkeggs, 'is this, that it may be true, or it may not be true: but this Ican assure your Ladyship, that the whole rout was in amaze; his Lordshipturned all manner of colours, my Lady fell into a sound; but Sir Tomkyn, drawing his sword, swore he was her's to the last drop of his blood. ''Well, ' replied our Peeress, 'this I can say, that the Dutchess nevertold me a syllable of the matter, and I believe her Grace would keepnothing a secret from me. This you may depend upon as fact, that thenext morning my Lord Duke cried out three times to his valet de chambre, Jernigan, Jernigan, Jernigan, bring me my garters. '

But previously I should have mentioned the very impolite behaviour of MrBurchell, who, during this discourse, sate with his face turned to thefire, and at the conclusion of every sentence would cry out FUDGE!an expression which displeased us all, and in some measure damped therising spirit of the conversation. 

'Besides, my dear Skeggs, ' continued our Peeress, 'there is nothingof this in the copy of verses that Dr Burdock made upon theoccasion. '--'FUDGE!'

'I am surprised at that, ' cried Miss Skeggs; 'for he seldom leavesany thing out, as he writes only for his own amusement. But can yourLadyship favour me with a sight of them?'--'FUDGE!'

'My dear creature, ' replied our Peeress, 'do you think I carry suchthings about me? Though they are very fine to be sure, and I thinkmyself something of a judge; at least I know what pleases myself. IndeedI was ever an admirer of all Doctor Burdock's little pieces; for exceptwhat he does, and our dear Countess at Hanover-Square, there's nothingcomes out but the most lowest stuff in nature; not a bit of high lifeamong them. '--'FUDGE!'

'Your Ladyship should except, ' says t'other, 'your own things in theLady's Magazine. I hope you'll say there's nothing low lived there? ButI suppose we are to have no more from that quarter?'--'FUDGE!'

'Why, my dear, ' says the Lady, 'you know my reader and companion hasleft me, to be married to Captain Roach, and as my poor eyes won'tsuffer me to write myself, I have been for some time looking out foranother. A proper person is no easy matter to find, and to be surethirty pounds a year is a small stipend for a well-bred girl ofcharacter, that can read, write, and behave in company; as for the chitsabout town, there is no bearing them about one. '--'FUDGE!'

'That I know, ' cried Miss Skeggs, 'by experience. For of the threecompanions I had this last half year, one of them refused to doplain-work an hour in the day, another thought twenty-five guineasa year too small a salary, and I was obliged to send away the third, because I suspected an intrigue with the chaplain. Virtue, my dearLady Blarney, virtue is worth any price; but where is that to befound?'--'FUDGE!'

My wife had been for a long time all attention to this discourse; butwas particularly struck with the latter part of it. Thirty pounds andtwenty-five guineas a year made fifty-six pounds five shillings Englishmoney, all which was in a manner going a-begging, and might easilybe secured in the family. She for a moment studied my looks forapprobation; and, to own a truth, I was of opinion, that two such placeswould fit our two daughters exactly. Besides, if the 'Squire had anyreal affection for my eldest daughter, this would be the way to make herevery way qualified for her fortune. My wife therefore was resolved thatwe should not be deprived of such advantages for want of assurance, and undertook to harangue for the family. 'I hope, ' cried she, 'yourLadyships will pardon my present presumption. It is true, we have noright to pretend to such favours; but yet it is natural for me to wishputting my children forward in the world. And I will be bold to say mytwo girls have had a pretty good education, and capacity, at least thecountry can't shew better. They can read, write, and cast accompts; theyunderstand their needle, breadstitch, cross and change, and all mannerof plain-work; they can pink, point, and frill; and know something ofmusic; they can do up small cloaths, work upon catgut; my eldest can cutpaper, and my youngest has a very pretty manner of telling fortunes uponthe cards. '--'FUDGE!'

When she had delivered this pretty piece of eloquence, the two ladieslooked at each other a few minutes in silence, with an air of doubt andimportance. At last, Miss Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs condescendedto observe, that the young ladies, from the opinion she could formof them from so slight an acquaintance, seemed very fit for suchemployments: 'But a thing of this kind, Madam, ' cried she, addressingmy spouse, requires a thorough examination into characters, and a moreperfect knowledge of each other. Not, Madam, ' continued she, 'that I inthe least suspect the young ladies virtue, prudence and discretion; butthere is a form in these things, Madam, there is a form. '

My wife approved her suspicions very much, observing, that she was veryapt to be suspicious herself; but referred her to all the neighboursfor a character: but this our Peeress declined as unnecessary, alledgingthat her cousin Thornhill's recommendation would be sufficient, and uponthis we rested our petition. 

CHAPTER 12

Fortune seems resolved to humble the family of Wakefield. Mortificationsare often more painful than real calamities

When we were returned home, the night was dedicated to schemes of futureconquest. Deborah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing which of thetwo girls was likely to have the best place, and most opportunitiesof seeing good company. The only obstacle to our preferment was inobtaining the 'Squire's recommendation; but he had already shewn us toomany instances of his friendship to doubt of it now. Even in bed mywife kept up the usual theme: 'Well, faith, my dear Charles, betweenourselves, I think we have made an excellent day's work of it. '--'Prettywell, ' cried I, not knowing what to say. --'What only pretty well!'returned she. 'I think it is very well. Suppose the girls should come tomake acquaintances of taste in town! This I am assured of, that Londonis the only place in the world for all manner of husbands. Besides, mydear, stranger things happen every day: and as ladies of quality are sotaken with my daughters, what will not men of quality be! Entre nous, Iprotest I like my Lady Blarney vastly, so very obliging. However, MissCarolina Wilelmina Anielia Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet, when theycame to talk of places in town, you saw at once how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you think I did for my children there?'--'Ay, 'returned I, not knowing well what to think of the matter, 'heaven grantthey may be both the better for it this day three months!' This was oneof those observations I usually made to impress my wife with an opinionof my sagacity; for if the girls succeeded, then it was a pious wishfulfilled; but if any thing unfortunate ensued, then it might be lookedupon as a prophecy. All this conversation, however, was only preparatoryto another scheme, and indeed I dreaded as much. This was nothing lessthan, that as we were now to hold up our heads a little higher in theworld, it would be proper to sell the Colt, which was grown old, at aneighbouring fair, and buy us an horse that would carry single or doubleupon an occasion, and make a pretty appearance at church or upon avisit. This at first I opposed stoutly; but it was as stoutly defended. However, as I weakened, my antagonist gained strength, till at last itwas resolved to part with him. 

As the fair happened on the following day, I had intentions of goingmyself, but my wife persuaded me that I had got a cold, and nothingcould prevail upon her to permit me from home. 'No, my dear, ' said she, 'our son Moses is a discreet boy, and can buy and sell to very goodadvantage; you know all our great bargains are of his purchasing. Healways stands out and higgles, and actually tires them till he gets abargain. '

As I had some opinion of my son's prudence, I was willing enough toentrust him with this commission; and the next morning I perceived hissisters mighty busy in fitting out Moses for the fair; trimming hishair, brushing his buckles, and cocking his hat with pins. The businessof the toilet being over, we had at last the satisfaction of seeinghim mounted upon the Colt, with a deal box before him to bring homegroceries in. He had on a coat made of that cloth they call thunder andlightning, which, though grown too short, was much too good to be thrownaway. His waistcoat was of gosling green, and his sisters had tied hishair with a broad black ribband. We all followed him several paces, fromthe door, bawling after him good luck, good luck, till we could see himno longer. 

He was scarce gone, when Mr Thornhill's butler came to congratulateus upon our good fortune, saying, that he overheard his young mastermention our names with great commendation. 

Good fortune seemed resolved not to come alone. Another footman from thesame family followed, with a card for my daughters, importing, that thetwo ladies had received such pleasing accounts from Mr Thornhill of usall, that, after a few previous enquiries, they hoped to be perfectlysatisfied. 'Ay, ' cried my wife, I now see it is no easy matter to getinto the families of the great; but when one once gets in, then, asMoses says, one may go sleep. ' To this piece of humour, for she intendedit for wit, my daughters assented with a loud laugh of pleasure. Inshort, such was her satisfaction at this message, that she actually puther hand in her pocket, and gave the messenger seven-pence halfpenny. 

This was to be our visiting-day. The next that came was Mr Burchell, who had been at the fair. He brought my little ones a pennyworth ofgingerbread each, which my wife undertook to keep for them, and givethem by letters at a time. He brought my daughters also a couple ofboxes, in which they might keep wafers, snuff, patches, or even money, when they got it. My wife was usually fond of a weesel skin purse, asbeing the most lucky; but this by the bye. We had still a regard forMr Burchell, though his late rude behaviour was in some measuredispleasing; nor could we now avoid communicating our happiness to him, and asking his advice: although we seldom followed advice, we were allready enough to ask it. When he read the note from the two ladies, heshook his head, and observed, that an affair of this sort demanded theutmost circumspection. --This air of diffidence highly displeased mywife. 'I never doubted, Sir, ' cried she, 'your readiness to be againstmy daughters and me. You have more circumspection than is wanted. However, I fancy when we come to ask advice, we will apply to personswho seem to have made use of it themselves. '--'Whatever my own conductmay have been, madam, ' replied he, 'is not the present question; tho' asI have made no use of advice myself, I should in conscience give it tothose that will. '--As I was apprehensive this answer might draw ona repartee, making up by abuse what it wanted in wit, I changed thesubject, by seeming to wonder what could keep our son so long at thefair, as it was now almost nightfall. --'Never mind our son, ' cried mywife, 'depend upon it he knows what he is about. I'll warrant we'llnever see him sell his hen of a rainy day. I have seen him buy suchbargains as would amaze one. I'll tell you a good story about that, that will make you split your sides with laughing--But as I live, yondercomes Moses, without an horse, and the box at his back. '

As she spoke, Moses came slowly on foot, and sweating under the dealbox, which he had strapt round his shoulders like a pedlar. --'Welcome, welcome, Moses; well, my boy, what have you brought us from thefair?'--'I have brought you myself, ' cried Moses, with a sly look, andresting the box on the dresser. --'Ay, Moses, ' cried my wife, 'that weknow, but where is the horse?' 'I have sold him, ' cried Moses, 'forthree pounds five shillings and two-pence. '--'Well done, my good boy, 'returned she, 'I knew you would touch them off. Between ourselves, threepounds five shillings and two-pence is no bad day's work. Come, let ushave it then. '--'I have brought back no money, ' cried Moses again. 'Ihave laid it all out in a bargain, and here it is, ' pulling out a bundlefrom his breast: 'here they are; a groce of green spectacles, withsilver rims and shagreen cases. '--'A groce of green spectacles!'repeated my wife in a faint voice. 'And you have parted with theColt, and brought us back nothing but a groce of green paltryspectacles!'--'Dear mother, ' cried the boy, 'why won't you listen toreason? I had them a dead bargain, or I should not have bought them. Thesilver rims alone will sell for double money. '--'A fig for the silverrims, ' cried my wife, in a passion: 'I dare swear they won't sell forabove half the money at the rate of broken silver, five shillings anounce. '--'You need be under no uneasiness, ' cried I, 'about selling therims; for they are not worth six-pence, for I perceive they are onlycopper varnished over. '--'What, ' cried my wife, 'not silver, the rimsnot silver!' 'No, ' cried I, 'no more silver than your saucepan, '--'Andso, ' returned she, 'we have parted with the Colt, and have only gota groce of green spectacles, with copper rims and shagreen cases! Amurrain take such trumpery. The blockhead has been imposed upon, andshould have known his company better. '--'There, my dear, ' cried I, 'youare wrong, he should not have known them at all. '--'Marry, hang theideot, ' returned she, 'to bring me such stuff, if I had them, I wouldthrow them in the fire. ' 'There again you are wrong, my dear, ' criedI; 'for though they be copper, we will keep them by us, as copperspectacles, you know, are better than nothing. '

By this time the unfortunate Moses was undeceived. He now saw that hehad indeed been imposed upon by a prowling sharper, who, observinghis figure, had marked him for an easy prey. I therefore asked thecircumstances of his deception. He sold the horse, it seems, and walkedthe fair in search of another. A reverend looking man brought him to atent, under pretence of having one to sell. 'Here, ' continued Moses, 'wemet another man, very well drest, who desired to borrow twenty poundsupon these, saying, that he wanted money, and would dispose of themfor a third of the value. The first gentleman, who pretended to be myfriend, whispered me to buy them, and cautioned me not to let so good anoffer pass. I sent for Mr Flamborough, and they talked him up as finelyas they did me, and so at last we were persuaded to buy the two grocebetween us. '

CHAPTER 13

Mr Burchell is found to be an enemy; for he has the confidence to givedisagreeable advice

Our family had now made several attempts to be fine; but some unforeseendisaster demolished each as soon as projected. I endeavoured to takethe advantage of every disappointment, to improve their good sense inproportion as they were frustrated in ambition. 'You see, my children, 'cried I, 'how little is to be got by attempts to impose upon the world, in coping with our betters. Such as are poor and will associate withnone but the rich, are hated by those they avoid, and despised by thesethey follow. Unequal combinations are always disadvantageous tothe weaker side: the rich having the pleasure, and the poor theinconveniencies that result from them. But come, Dick, my boy, andrepeat the fable that you were reading to-day, for the good of thecompany. '. 

'Once upon a time, ' cried the child, 'a Giant and a Dwarf were friends, and kept together. They made a bargain that they would never forsakeeach other, but go seek adventures. The first battle they fought waswith two Saracens, and the Dwarf, who was very courageous, dealt oneof the champions a most angry blow. It did the Saracen but very littleinjury, who lifting up his sword, fairly struck off the poor Dwarf'sarm. He was now in a woeful plight; but the Giant coming to hisassistance, in a short time left the two Saracens dead on the plain, andthe Dwarf cut off the dead man's head out of spite. They then travelledon to another adventure. This was against three bloody-minded Satyrs, who were carrying away a damsel in distress. The Dwarf was not quite sofierce now as before; but for all that, struck the first blow, which wasreturned by another, that knocked out his eye: but the Giant was soon upwith them, and had they not fled, would certainly have killed them everyone. They were all very joyful for this victory, and the damsel whowas relieved fell in love with the Giant, and married him. They nowtravelled far, and farther than I can tell, till they met with a companyof robbers. The Giant, for the first time, was foremost now; but theDwarf was not far behind. The battle was stout and long. Wherever theGiant came all fell before him; but the Dwarf had like to have beenkilled more than once. At last the victory declared for the twoadventurers; but the Dwarf lost his leg. The Dwarf was now without anarm, a leg, and an eye, while the Giant was without a single wound. Uponwhich he cried out to his little companion, My little heroe, this isglorious sport; let us get one victory more, and then we shall havehonour for ever. No, cries the Dwarf who was by this time grown wiser, no, I declare off; I'll fight no more; for I find in every battle thatyou get all the honour and rewards, but all the blows fall upon me. '

I was going to moralize this fable, when our attention was called offto a warm dispute between my wife and Mr Burchell, upon my daughtersintended expedition to town. My wife very strenuously insisted uponthe advantages that would result from it. Mr Burchell, on the contrary, dissuaded her with great ardor, and I stood neuter. His presentdissuasions seemed but the second part of those which were received withso ill a grace in the morning. The dispute grew high while poor Deborah, instead of reasoning stronger, talked louder, and at last was obliged totake shelter from a defeat in clamour. The conclusion of her harangue, however, was highly displeasing to us all: she knew, she said, of somewho had their own secret reasons for what they advised; but, forher part, she wished such to stay away from her house for thefuture. --'Madam, ' cried Burchell, with looks of great composure, whichtended to enflame her the more, 'as for secret reasons, you are right:I have secret reasons, which I forbear to mention, because you are notable to answer those of which I make no secret: but I find my visitshere are become troublesome; I'll take my leave therefore now, andperhaps come once more to take a final farewell when I am quitting thecountry. ' Thus saying, he took up his hat, nor could the attempts ofSophia, whose looks seemed to upbraid his precipitancy, prevent hisgoing. 

When gone, we all regarded each other for some minutes with confusion. My wife, who knew herself to be the cause, strove to hide her concernwith a forced smile, and an air of assurance, which I was willing toreprove: 'How, woman, ' cried I to her, 'is it thus we treat strangers?Is it thus we return their kindness? Be assured, my dear, that thesewere the harshest words, and to me the most unpleasing that ever escapedyour lips!'--'Why would he provoke me then, ' replied she; 'but I knowthe motives of his advice perfectly well. He would prevent my girls fromgoing to town, that he may have the pleasure of my youngest daughter'scompany here at home. But whatever happens, she shall chuse bettercompany than such low-lived fellows as he. '--'Low-lived, my dear, doyou call him, ' cried I, 'it is very possible we may mistake this man'scharacter: for he seems upon some occasions the most finished gentlemanI ever knew. --Tell me, Sophia, my girl, has he ever given you any secretinstances of his attachment?'--'His conversation with me, sir, ' repliedmy daughter, 'has ever been sensible, modest, and pleasing. As to aughtelse, no, never. Once, indeed, I remember to have heard him say he neverknew a woman who could find merit in a man that seemed poor. ' 'Such, mydear, ' cried I, 'is the common cant of all the unfortunate or idle. ButI hope you have been taught to judge properly of such men, and that itwould be even madness to expect happiness from one who has been sovery bad an oeconomist of his own. Your mother and I have now betterprospects for you. The next winter, which you will probably spend intown, will give you opportunities of making a more prudent choice. 'What Sophia's reflections were upon this occasion, I can't pretend todetermine; but I was not displeased at the bottom that we were rid of aguest from whom I had much to fear. Our breach of hospitality went to myconscience a little: but I quickly silenced that monitor by two or threespecious reasons, which served to satisfy and reconcile me to myself. The pain which conscience gives the man who has already done wrong, is soon got over. Conscience is a coward, and those faults it has notstrength enough to prevent, it seldom has justice enough to accuse. 

CHAPTER 14

Fresh mortifications, or a demonstration that seeming calamities may bereal blessings

The journey of my daughters to town was now resolved upon, Mr Thornhillhaving kindly promised to inspect their conduct himself, and inform usby letter of their behaviour. But it was thought indispensably necessarythat their appearance should equal the greatness of their expectations, which could not be done without expence. We debated therefore infull council what were the easiest methods of raising money, or, more properly speaking, what we could most conveniently sell. Thedeliberation was soon finished, it was found that our remaining horsewas utterly useless for the plow, without his companion, and equallyunfit for the road, as wanting an eye, it was therefore determinedthat we should dispose of him for the purposes above-mentioned, at theneighbouring fair, and, to prevent imposition, that I should go with himmyself. Though this was one of the first mercantile transactions of mylife, yet I had no doubt about acquitting myself with reputation. Theopinion a man forms of his own prudence is measured by that of thecompany he keeps, and as mine was mostly in the family way, I hadconceived no unfavourable sentiments of my worldly wisdom. My wife, however, next morning, at parting, after I had got some paces from thedoor, called me back, to advise me, in a whisper, to have all my eyesabout me. I had, in the usual forms, when I came to the fair, put myhorse through all his paces; but for some time had no bidders. At lasta chapman approached, and, after he had for a good while examined thehorse round, finding him blind of one eye, he would have nothing to sayto him: a second came up; but observing he had a spavin, declared hewould not take him for the driving home: a third perceived he had awindgall, and would bid no money: a fourth knew by his eye that he hadthe botts: a fifth, wondered what a plague I could do at the fair witha blind, spavined, galled hack, that was only fit to be cut up for adog kennel. ' By this time I began to have a most hearty contempt forthe poor animal myself, and was almost ashamed at the approach of everycustomer; for though I did not entirely believe all the fellows told me;yet I reflected that the number of witnesses was a strong presumptionthey were right, and St Gregory, upon good works, professes himself tobe of the same opinion. 

I was in this mortifying situation, when a brother clergyman, an oldacquaintance, who had also business to the fair, came up, and shaking meby the hand, proposed adjourning to a public-house and taking a glass ofwhatever we could get. I readily closed with the offer, and entering anale-house, we were shewn into a little back room, where there was only avenerable old man, who sat wholly intent over a large book, which hewas reading. I never in my life saw a figure that prepossessed me morefavourably. His locks of silver grey venerably shaded his temples, andhis green old age seemed to be the result of health and benevolence. However, his presence did not interrupt our conversation; my friend andI discoursed on the various turns of fortune we had met: the Whistoneancontroversy, my last pamphlet, the archdeacon's reply, and the hardmeasure that was dealt me. But our attention was in a short time takenoff by the appearance of a youth, who, entering the room, respectfullysaid something softly to the old stranger. 'Make no apologies, mychild, ' said the old man, 'to do good is a duty we owe to all our fellowcreatures: take this, I wish it were more; but five pounds will relieveyour distress, and you are welcome. ' The modest youth shed tears ofgratitude, and yet his gratitude was scarce equal to mine. I could havehugged the good old man in my arms, his benevolence pleased me so. Hecontinued to read, and we resumed our conversation, until my companion, after some time, recollecting that he had business to transact in thefair, promised to be soon back; adding, that he always desired to haveas much of Dr Primrose's company as possible. The old gentleman, hearingmy name mentioned, seemed to look at me with attention, for some time, and when my friend was gone, most respectfully demanded if I was any wayrelated to the great Primrose, that courageous monogamist, who had beenthe bulwark of the church. Never did my heart feel sincerer rapture thanat that moment. 'Sir, ' cried I, 'the applause of so good a man, as I amsure you are, adds to that happiness in my breast which your benevolencehas already excited. You behold before you, Sir, that Doctor Primrose, the monogamist, whom you have been pleased to call great. You here seethat unfortunate Divine, who has so long, and it would ill become me tosay, successfully, fought against the deuterogamy of the age. ' 'Sir, 'cried the stranger, struck with awe, 'I fear I have been too familiar;but you'll forgive my curiosity, Sir: I beg pardon. ' 'Sir, ' criedI, grasping his hand, 'you are so far from displeasing me by yourfamiliarity, that I must beg you'll accept my friendship, as you alreadyhave my esteem. '--'Then with gratitude I accept the offer, ' cried he, squeezing me by the hand, 'thou glorious pillar of unshaken orthodoxy;and do I behold--' I here interrupted what he was going to say; fortho', as an author, I could digest no small share of flattery, yet nowmy modesty would permit no more. However, no lovers in romance evercemented a more instantaneous friendship. We talked upon severalsubjects: at first I thought he seemed rather devout than learned, andbegan to think he despised all human doctrines as dross. Yet this no waylessened him in my esteem; for I had for some time begun privately toharbour such an opinion myself. I therefore took occasion to observe, that the world in general began to be blameably indifferent as todoctrinal matters, and followed human speculations too much--'Ay, Sir, 'replied he, as if he had reserved all his learning to that moment, 'Ay, Sir, the world is in its dotage, and yet the cosmogony or creation ofthe world has puzzled philosophers of all ages. What a medly of opinionshave they not broached upon the creation of the world? Sanconiathon, Manetho, Berosus, and Ocellus Lucanus, have all attempted it in vain. The latter has these words, Anarchon ara kai atelutaion to pan, whichimply that all things have neither beginning nor end. Manetho also, who lived about the time of Nebuchadon-Asser, Asser being a Syriac wordusually applied as a sirname to the kings of that country, as TeglatPhael-Asser, Nabon-Asser, he, I say, formed a conjecture equally absurd;for as we usually say ek to biblion kubernetes, which implies that bookswill never teach the world; so he attempted to investigate--But, Sir, Iask pardon, I am straying from the question. '--That he actually was; norcould I for my life see how the creation of the world had any thing todo with the business I was talking of; but it was sufficient to shew methat he was a man of letters, and I now reverenced him the more. I wasresolved therefore to bring him to the touch-stone; but he was too mildand too gentle to contend for victory. Whenever I made any observationthat looked like a challenge to controversy, he would smile, shake hishead, and say nothing; by which I understood he could say much, ifhe thought proper. The subject therefore insensibly changed from thebusiness of antiquity to that which brought us both to the fair; mine Itold him was to sell an horse, and very luckily, indeed, his was to buyone for one of his tenants. My horse was soon produced, and in fine westruck a bargain. Nothing now remained but to pay me, and he accordinglypulled out a thirty pound note, and bid me change it. Not being in acapacity of complying with his demand, he ordered his footman to becalled up, who made his appearance in a very genteel livery. 'Here, Abraham, ' cried he, 'go and get gold for this; you'll do it at neighbourJackson's, or any where. ' While the fellow was gone, he entertainedme with a pathetic harangue on the great scarcity of silver, which Iundertook to improve, by deploring also the great scarcity of gold; sothat by the time Abraham returned, we had both agreed that money wasnever so hard to be come at as now. Abraham returned to inform us, thathe had been over the whole fair and could not get change, tho' he hadoffered half a crown for doing it. This was a very great disappointmentto us all; but the old gentleman having paused a little, asked me if Iknew one Solomon Flamborough in my part of the country: upon replyingthat he was my next door neighbour, 'if that be the case then, ' returnedhe, 'I believe we shall deal. You shall have a draught upon him, payableat sight; and let me tell you he is as warm a man as any within fivemiles round him. Honest Solomon and I have been acquainted for manyyears together. I remember I always beat him at threejumps; but he couldhop upon one leg farther than I. ' A draught upon my neighbour was to methe same as money; for I was sufficiently convinced of his ability:the draught was signed and put into my hands, and Mr Jenkinson, the oldgentleman, his man Abraham, and my horse, old Blackberry, trotted offvery well pleased with each other. 

After a short interval being left to reflection, I began to recollectthat I had done wrong in taking a draught from a stranger, and soprudently resolved upon following the purchaser, and having back myhorse. But this was now too late: I therefore made directly homewards, resolving to get the draught changed into money at my friend's as fastas possible. I found my honest neighbour smoking his pipe at his owndoor, and informing him that I had a small bill upon him, he readit twice over. 'You can read the name, I suppose, ' cried I, 'EphraimJenkinson. ' 'Yes, ' returned he, 'the name is written plain enough, and Iknow the gentleman too, the greatest rascal under the canopy of heaven. This is the very same rogue who sold us the spectacles. Was he not avenerable looking man, with grey hair, and no flaps to his pocket-holes?And did he not talk a long string of learning about Greek and cosmogony, and the world?' To this I replied with a groan. 'Aye, ' continued he, 'hehas but that one piece of learning in the world, and he always talks itaway whenever he finds a scholar in company; but I know the rogue, andwill catch him yet. ' Though I was already sufficiently mortified, mygreatest struggle was to come, in facing my wife and daughters. Notruant was ever more afraid of returning to school, there to behold themaster's visage, than I was of going home. I was determined, however, toanticipate their fury, by first falling into a passion myself. 

But, alas! upon entering, I found the family no way disposed for battle. My wife and girls were all in tears, Mr Thornhill having been there thatday to inform them, that their journey to town was entirely over. Thetwo ladies having heard reports of us from some malicious person aboutus, were that day set out for London. He could neither discover thetendency, nor the author of these, but whatever they might be, orwhoever might have broached them, he continued to assure our family ofhis friendship and protection. I found, therefore, that they boremy disappointment with great resignation, as it was eclipsed in thegreatness of their own. But what perplexed us most was to think whocould be so base as to asperse the character of a family so harmless asours, too humble to excite envy, and too inoffensive to create disgust. 

CHAPTER 15

All, Mr Burchell's villainy at once detected. The folly of beingover-wise

That evening and a part of the following day was employed in fruitlessattempts to discover our enemies: scarce a family in the neighbourhoodbut incurred our suspicions, and each of us had reasons for our opinionbest known to ourselves. As we were in this perplexity, one of ourlittle boys, who had been playing abroad, brought in a letter-case, which he found on the green. It was quickly known to belong to MrBurchell, with whom it had been seen, and, upon examination, containedsome hints upon different subjects; but what particularly engaged ourattention was a sealed note, superscribed, 'The copy of a letter to besent to the two ladies at Thornhill-castle. ' It instantly occurred thathe was the base informer, and we deliberated whether the note should notbe broke open. I was against it; but Sophia, who said she was surethat of all men he would be the last to be guilty of so much baseness, insisted upon its being read, In this she was seconded by the rest ofthe family, and, at their joint solicitation, I read as follows:--

'Ladies, --The bearer will sufficiently satisfy you as to the personfrom whom this comes: one at least the friend of innocence, and ready toprevent its being seduced. I am informed for a truth, that you havesome intention of bringing two young ladies to town, whom I have someknowledge of, under the character of companions. As I would neither havesimplicity imposed upon, nor virtue contaminated, I must offer it asmy opinion, that the impropriety of such a step will be attended withdangerous consequences. It has never been my way to treat the infamousor the lewd with severity; nor should I now have taken this method ofexplaining myself, or reproving folly, did it not aim at guilt. Taketherefore the admonition of a friend, and seriously reflect on theconsequences of introducing infamy and vice into retreats where peaceand innocence have hitherto resided. ' Our doubts were now at an end. There seemed indeed something applicable to both sides in this letter, and its censures might as well be referred to those to whom it waswritten, as to us; but the malicious meaning was obvious, and we went nofarther. My wife had scarce patience to hear me to the end, but railedat the writer with unrestrained resentment. Olivia was equally severe, and Sophia seemed perfectly amazed at his baseness. As for my part, itappeared to me one of the vilest instances of unprovoked ingratitudeI had met with. Nor could I account for it in any other manner thanby imputing it to his desire of detaining my youngest daughter in thecountry, to have the more frequent opportunities of an interview. Inthis manner we all sate ruminating upon schemes of vengeance, whenour other little boy came running in to tell us that Mr Burchell wasapproaching at the other end of the field. It is easier to conceive thandescribe the complicated sensations which are felt from the pain ofa recent injury, and the pleasure of approaching vengeance. Tho' ourintentions were only to upbraid him with his ingratitude; yet it wasresolved to do it in a manner that would be perfectly cutting. For thispurpose we agreed to meet him with our usual smiles, to chat in thebeginning with more than ordinary kindness, to amuse him a little;and then in the midst of the flattering calm to burst upon him like anearthquake, and overwhelm him with the sense of his own baseness. Thisbeing resolved upon, my wife undertook to manage the business herself, as she really had some talents for such an undertaking. We saw himapproach, he entered, drew a chair, and sate down. --'A fine day, MrBurchell. '--'A very fine day, Doctor; though I fancy we shall have somerain by the shooting of my corns. '--'The shooting of your horns, ' criedmy wife, in a loud fit of laughter, and then asked pardon for being fondof a joke. --'Dear madam, ' replied he, 'I pardon you with all my heart;for I protest I should not have thought it a joke had you not toldme. '--'Perhaps not, Sir, ' cried my wife, winking at us, 'and yet I daresay you can tell us how many jokes go to an ounce. '--'I fancy, madam, 'returned Burchell, 'you have been reading a jest book this morning, thatounce of jokes is so very good a conceit; and yet, madam, I had rathersee half an ounce of understanding. '--'I believe you might, ' cried mywife, still smiling at us, though the laugh was against her; 'and yetI have seen some men pretend to understanding that have verylittle. '--'And no doubt, ' replied her antagonist, 'you have known ladiesset up for wit that had none. '--I quickly began to find that my wife waslikely to gain but little at this business; so I resolved to treat himin a stile of more severity myself. 'Both wit and understanding, ' criedI, 'are trifles, without integrity: it is that which gives value toevery character. The ignorant peasant, without fault, is greater thanthe philosopher with many; for what is genius or courage without anheart? An honest man is the noblest work of God. 

'I always held that hackney'd maxim of Pope, ' returned Mr Burchell, 'as very unworthy a man of genius, and a base desertion of his ownsuperiority. As the reputation of books is raised not by their freedomfrom defect, but the greatness of their beauties; so should that ofmen be prized not for their exemption from fault, but the size ofthose virtues they are possessed of. The scholar may want prudence, thestatesman may have pride, and the champion ferocity; but shall weprefer to these the low mechanic, who laboriously plods on through life, without censure or applause? We might as well prefer the tame correctpaintings of the Flemish school to the erroneous, but sublime animationsof the Roman pencil. '

'Sir, ' replied I, 'your present observation is just, when there areshining virtues and minute defects; but when it appears that greatvices are opposed in the same mind to as extraordinary virtues, such acharacter deserves contempt. ' 'Perhaps, ' cried he, 'there may be somesuch monsters as you describe, of great vices joined to great virtues;yet in my progress through life, I never yet found one instance of theirexistence: on the contrary, I have ever perceived, that where the mindwas capacious, the affections were good. And indeed Providenceseems kindly our friend in this particular, thus to debilitate theunderstanding where the heart is corrupt, and diminish the power wherethere is the will to do mischief. This rule seems to extend even toother animals: the little vermin race are ever treacherous, cruel, andcowardly, whilst those endowed with strength and power are generous, brave, and gentle. '

'These observations sound well, ' returned I, 'and yet it would be easythis moment to point out a man, ' and I fixed my eye stedfastly uponhim, 'whose head and heart form a most detestable contrast. Ay, Sir, 'continued I, raising my voice, 'and I am glad to have this opportunityof detecting him in the midst of his fancied security. Do you knowthis, Sir, this pocket-book?'--'Yes, Sir, ' returned he, with a face ofimpenetrable assurance, 'that pocket-book is mine, and I am glad youhave found it. '--'And do you know, ' cried I, 'this letter? Nay, neverfalter man; but look me full in the face: I say, do you know thisletter?'--'That letter, ' returned he, 'yes, it was I that wrote thatletter. '--'And how could you, ' said I, 'so basely, so ungratefullypresume to write this letter?'--'And how came you, ' replied he, withlooks of unparallelled effrontery, 'so basely to presume to break openthis letter? Don't you know, now, I could hang you all for this? Allthat I have to do, is to swear at the next justice's, that you have beenguilty of breaking open the lock of my pocket-book, and so hang you allup at his door. ' This piece of unexpected insolence raised me to such apitch, that I could scare govern my passion. 'Ungrateful wretch, begone, and no longer pollute my dwelling with thy baseness. Begone, and neverlet me see thee again: go from my doors, and the only punishment I wishthee is an allarmed conscience, which will be a sufficient tormentor!'So saying, I threw him his pocket-book, which he took up with a smile, and shutting the clasps with the utmost composure, left us, quiteastonished at the serenity of his assurance. My wife was particularlyenraged that nothing could make him angry, or make him seem ashamed ofhis villainies. 'My dear, ' cried I, willing to calm those passions thathad been raised too high among us, 'we are not to be surprised that badmen want shame; they only blush at being detected in doing good, butglory in their vices. 

'Guilt and shame, says the allegory, were at first companions, and inthe beginning of their journey inseparably kept together. But theirunion was soon found to be disagreeable and inconvenient to both; guiltgave shame frequent uneasiness, and shame often betrayed the secretconspiracies of guilt. After long disagreeement, therefore, they atlength consented to part for ever. Guilt boldly walked forward alone, to overtake fate, that went before in the shape of an executioner:but shame being naturally timorous, returned back to keep company withvirtue, which, in the beginning of their journey, they had left behind. Thus, my children, after men have travelled through a few stages invice, shame forsakes them, and returns back to wait upon the few virtuesthey have still remaining. '

CHAPTER 16

The family use art, which is opposed with, still greater

Whatever might have been Sophia's sensations, the rest of the familywas easily consoled, for Mr Burchell's absence by the company of ourlandlord, whose visits now became more frequent and longer. Though hehad been disappointed in procuring my daughters the amusements of thetown, as he designed, he took every opportunity of supplying them withthose little recreations which our retirement would admit of. He usuallycame in the morning, and while my son and I followed our occupationsabroad, he sat with the family at home, and amused them by describingthe town, with every part of which he was particularly acquainted. Hecould repeat all the observations that were retailed in the atmosphereof the playhouses, and had all the good things of the high wits by rotelong before they made way into the jest-books. The intervals betweenconversation were employed in teaching my daughters piquet, or sometimesin setting my two little ones to box to make them sharp, as he calledit: but the hopes of having him for a son-in-law, in some measureblinded us to all his imperfections. It must be owned that my wife laida thousand schemes to entrap him, or, to speak it more tenderly, usedevery art to magnify the merit of her daughter. If the cakes at tea eatshort and crisp, they were made by Olivia: if the gooseberry wine waswell knit, the gooseberries were of her gathering: it was her fingerswhich gave the pickles their peculiar green; and in the composition ofa pudding, it was her judgment that mix'd the ingredients. Then the poorwoman would sometimes tell the 'Squire, that she thought him and Oliviaextremely of a size, and would bid both stand up to see which wastallest. These instances of cunning, which she thought impenetrable, yetwhich every body saw through, were very pleasing to our benefactor, whogave every day some new proofs of his passion, which though they had notarisen to proposals of marriage, yet we thought fell but little short ofit; and his slowness was attributed sometimes to native bashfulness, andsometimes to his fear of offending his uncle. An occurrence, however, which happened soon after, put it beyond a doubt that he designedto become one of our family, my wife even regarded it as an absolutepromise. 

My wife and daughters happening to return a visit to neighbourFlamborough's, found that family had lately got their pictures drawnby a limner, who travelled the country, and took likenesses for fifteenshillings a head. As this family and ours had long a sort of rivalry inpoint of taste, our spirit took the alarm at this stolen march upon us, and notwithstanding all I could say, and I said much, it was resolvedthat we should have our pictures done too. Having, therefore, engagedthe limner, for what could I do? our next deliberation was to shewthe superiority of our taste in the attitudes. As for our neighbour'sfamily, there were seven of them, and they were drawn with sevenoranges, a thing quite out of taste, no variety in life, no compositionin the world. We desired to have something in a brighter style, and, after many debates, at length came to an unanimous resolution of beingdrawn together, in one large historical family piece. This would becheaper, since one frame would serve for all, and it would be infinitelymore genteel; for all families of any taste were now drawn in the samemanner. As we did not immediately recollect an historical subject to hitus, we were contented each with being drawn as independent historicalfigures. My wife desired to be represented as Venus, and the painter wasdesired not to be too frugal of his diamonds in her stomacher and hair. Her two little ones were to be as Cupids by her side, while I, inmy gown and band, was to present her with my books on the Whistoniancontroversy. Olivia would be drawn as an Amazon, sitting upon a bank offlowers, drest in a green joseph, richly laced with gold, and a whipin her hand. Sophia was to be a shepherdess, with as many sheep as thepainter could put in for nothing; and Moses was to be drest out with anhat and white feather. Our taste so much pleased the 'Squire, thathe insisted on being put in as one of the family in the character ofAlexander the great, at Olivia's feet. This was considered by us all asan indication of his desire to be introduced into the family, nor couldwe refuse his request. The painter was therefore set to work, and as hewrought with assiduity and expedition, in less than four days the wholewas compleated. The piece was large, and it must be owned he did notspare his colours; for which my wife gave him great encomiums. Wewere all perfectly satisfied with his performance; but an unfortunatecircumstance had not occurred till the picture was finished, which nowstruck us with dismay. It was so very large that we had no place in thehouse to fix it. How we all came to disregard so material a point isinconceivable; but certain it is, we had been all greatly remiss. Thepicture, therefore, instead of gratifying our vanity, as we hoped, leaned, in a most mortifying manner, against the kitchen wall, where thecanvas was stretched and painted, much too large to be got through anyof the doors, and the jest of all our neighhours. One compared it toRobinson Crusoe's long-boat, too large to be removed; another thoughtit more resembled a reel in a bottle; some wondered how it could be gotout, but still more were amazed how it ever got in. 

But though it excited the ridicule of some, it effectually raised moremalicious suggestions in many. The 'Squire's portrait being found unitedwith ours, was an honour too great to escape envy. Scandalous whispersbegan to circulate at our expence, and our tranquility was continuallydisturbed by persons who came as friends to tell us what was said of usby enemies. These reports we always resented with becoming spirit; butscandal ever improves by opposition. 

We once again therefore entered into a consultation upon obviating themalice of our enemies, and at last came to a resolution which hadtoo much cunning to give me entire satisfaction. It was this: as ourprincipal object was to discover the honour of Mr Thornhill's addresses, my wife undertook to sound him, by pretending to ask his advice in thechoice of an husband for her eldest daughter. If this was not foundsufficient to induce him to a declaration, it was then resolved toterrify him with a rival. To this last step, however, I would by nomeans give my consent, till Olivia gave me the most solemn assurancesthat she would marry the person provided to rival him upon thisoccasion, if he did not prevent it, by taking her himself. Such wasthe scheme laid, which though I did not strenuously oppose, I did notentirely approve. 

The next time, therefore, that Mr Thornhill came to see us, my girlstook care to be out of the way, in order to give their mamma anopportunity of putting her scheme in execution; but they only retired tothe next room, from whence they could over-hear the whole conversation:My wife artfully introduced it, by observing, that one of the MissFlamboroughs was like to have a very good match of it in Mr Spanker. Tothis the 'Squire assenting, she proceeded to remark, that they who hadwarm fortunes were always sure of getting good husbands: 'But heavenhelp, ' continued she, 'the girls that have none. What signifiesbeauty, Mr Thornhill? or what signifies all the virtue, and all thequalifications in the world, in this age of self-interest? It is not, what is she? but what has she? is all the cry. '

'Madam, ' returned he, 'I highly approve the justice, as well as thenovelty, of your remarks, and if I were a king, it should be otherwise. It should then, indeed, be fine times with the girls without fortunes:our two young ladies should be the first for whom I would provide. ' 'Ah, Sir!' returned my wife, 'you are pleased to be facetious: but I wish Iwere a queen, and then I know where my eldest daughter should look foran husband. But now, that you have put it into my head, seriously MrThornhill, can't you recommend me a proper husband for her? She is nownineteen years old, well grown and well educated, and, in my humbleopinion, does not want for parts. ' 'Madam, ' replied he, 'if I were tochuse, I would find out a person possessed of every accomplishmentthat can make an angel happy. One with prudence, fortune, taste, andsincerity, such, madam, would be, in my opinion, the proper husband. ''Ay, Sir, ' said she, 'but do you know of any such person?'--'No, madam, 'returned he, 'it is impossible to know any person that deserves to beher husband: she's too great a treasure for one man's possession: she'sa goddess. Upon my soul, I speak what I think, she's an angel. '--'Ah, MrThornhill, you only flatter my poor girl: but we have been thinking ofmarrying her to one of your tenants, whose mother is lately dead, andwho wants a manager: you know whom I mean, farmer Williams; a warm man, Mr Thornhill, able to give her good bread; and who has several timesmade her proposals: (which was actually the case) but, Sir, ' concludedshe, 'I should be glad to have your approbation of our choice. '--'How, madam, ' replied he, 'my approbation! My approbation of such a choice!Never. What! Sacrifice so much beauty, and sense, and goodness, to acreature insensible of the blessing! Excuse me, I can never approve ofsuch a piece of injustice And I have my reasons!'--'Indeed, Sir, ' criedDeborah, 'if you have your reasons, that's another affair; but I shouldbe glad to know those reasons. '--'Excuse me, madam, ' returned he, 'theylie too deep for discovery: (laying his hand upon his bosom) they remainburied, rivetted here. '

After he was gone, upon general consultation, we could not tell what tomake of these fine sentiments. Olivia considered them as instances ofthe most exalted passion; but I was not quite so sanguine: it seemed tome pretty plain, that they had more of love than matrimony in them: yet, whatever they might portend, it was resolved to prosecute the schemeof farmer Williams, who, from my daughter's first appearance in thecountry, had paid her his addresses. 

CHAPTER 17

Scarce any virtue found to resist the power of long and pleasingtemptation

As I only studied my child's real happiness, the assiduity of MrWilliams pleased me, as he was in easy circumstances, prudent, andsincere. It required but very little encouragement to revive his formerpassion; so that in an evening or two he and Mr Thornhill met at ourhouse, and surveyed each other for some time with looks of anger: butWilliams owed his landlord no rent, and little regarded his indignation. Olivia, on her side, acted the coquet to perfection, if that might becalled acting which was her real character, pretending to lavish allher tenderness on her new lover. Mr Thornhill appeared quite dejectedat this preference, and with a pensive air took leave, though I own itpuzzled me to find him so much in pain as he appeared to be, when hehad it in his power so easily to remove the cause, by declaring anhonourable passion. But whatever uneasiness he seemed to endure, itcould easily be perceived that Olivia's anguish was still greater. Afterany of these interviews between her lovers, of which there were several, she usually retired to solitude, and there indulged her grief. It wasin such a situation I found her one evening, after she had been for sometime supporting a fictitious gayety. --'You now see, my child, ' saidI, 'that your confidence in Mr Thornhill's passion was all a dream: hepermits the rivalry of another, every way his inferior, though heknows it lies in his power to secure you to himself by a candiddeclaration. '--'Yes, pappa, ' returned she, 'but he has his reasons forthis delay: I know he has. The sincerity of his looks and wordsconvince me of his real esteem. A short time, I hope, will discover thegenerosity of his sentiments, and convince you that my opinion of himhas been more just than yours. '--'Olivia, my darling, ' returnedI, 'every scheme that has been hitherto pursued to compel him to adeclaration, has been proposed and planned by yourself, nor can you inthe least say that I have constrained you. But you must not suppose, mydear, that I will ever be instrumental in suffering his honest rivalto be the dupe of your ill-placed passion. Whatever time you require tobring your fancied admirer to an explanation shall be granted; butat the expiration of that term, if he is still regardless, I mustabsolutely insist that honest Mr Williams shall be rewarded for hisfidelity. The character which I have hitherto supported in life demandsthis from me, and my tenderness, as a parent, shall never influencemy integrity as a man. Name then your day, let it be as distant as youthink proper, and in the mean time take care to let Mr Thornhill knowthe exact time on which I design delivering you up to another. If hereally loves you, his own good sense will readily suggest that there isbut one method alone to prevent his losing you forever. '--This proposal, which she could not avoid considering as perfectly just, was readilyagreed to. She again renewed her most positive promise of marryingMr Williams, in case of the other's insensibility; and at the nextopportunity, in Mr Thornhill's presence, that day month was fixed uponfor her nuptials with his rival. 

Such vigorous proceedings seemed to redouble Mr Thornhill's anxiety:but what Olivia really felt gave me some uneasiness. In this strugglebetween prudence and passion, her vivacity quite forsook her, and everyopportunity of solitude was sought, and spent in tears. One week passedaway; but Mr Thornhill made no efforts to restrain her nuptials. Thesucceeding week he was still assiduous; but not more open. On thethird he discontinued his visits entirely, and instead of my daughtertestifying any impatience, as I expected, she seemed to retain a pensivetranquillity, which I looked upon as resignation. For my own part, Iwas now sincerely pleased with thinking that my child was going tobe secured in a continuance of competence and peace, and frequentlyapplauded her resolution, in preferring happiness to ostentation. 

It was within about four days of her intended nuptials, that my littlefamily at night were gathered round a charming fire, telling storiesof the past, and laying schemes for the future. Busied in forming athousand projects, and laughing at whatever folly came uppermost, 'Well, Moses, ' cried I, 'we shall soon, my boy, have a wedding in the family, what is your opinion of matters and things in general?'--'My opinion, father, is, that all things go on very well; and I was just nowthinking, that when sister Livy is married to farmer Williams, weshall then have the loan of his cyder-press and brewing tubs fornothing. '--'That we shall, Moses, ' cried I, 'and he will sing us Deathand the Lady, to raise our spirits into the bargain. '--'He has taughtthat song to our Dick, ' cried Moses; 'and I think he goes thro' it veryprettily. '--'Does he so, ' cried I, then let us have it: where's littleDick? let him up with it boldly. '--'My brother Dick, ' cried Bill myyoungest, 'is just gone out with sister Livy; but Mr Williams has taughtme two songs, and I'll sing them for you, pappa. Which song do youchuse, the Dying Swan, or the Elegy on the death of a mad dog?' 'Theelegy, child, by all means, ' said I, 'I never heard that yet; andDeborah, my life, grief you know is dry, let us have a bottle of thebest gooseberry wine, to keep up our spirits. I have wept so much atall sorts of elegies of late, that without an enlivening glass I am surethis will overcome me; and Sophy, love, take your guitar, and thrum inwith the boy a little. '

An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog. 

Good people all, of every sort, Give ear unto my song; And if you findit wond'rous short, It cannot hold you long. 

In Isling town there was a man, Of whom the world might say, That stilla godly race he ran, Whene'er he went to pray. 

A kind and gentle heart he had, To comfort friends and foes; The nakedevery day he clad, When he put on his cloaths. 

And in that town a dog was found, As many dogs there be, Both mungrel, puppy, whelp, and hound, And curs of low degree. 

This dog and man at first were friends; But when a pique began, The dog, to gain some private ends, Went mad and bit the man. 

Around from all the neighbouring streets, The wondering neighbours ran, And swore the dog had lost his wits, To bite so good a man. 

The wound it seem'd both sore and sad, To every Christian eye; And whilethey swore the dog was mad, They swore the man would die. 

But soon a wonder came to light, That shew'd the rogues they lied, Theman recovered of the bite, The dog it was that dy'd. 

'A very good boy, Bill, upon my word, and an elegy that may truly becalled tragical. Come, my children, here's Bill's health, and may he oneday be a bishop. '

'With all my heart, ' cried my wife; 'and if he but preaches as wellas he sings, I make no doubt of him. The most of his family, by themother's side, could sing a good song: it was a common saying in ourcountry, that the family of the Blenkinsops could never look straitbefore them, nor the Huginsons blow out a candle; that there were noneof the Grograms but could sing a song, or of the Marjorams but couldtell a story. '--'However that be, ' cried I, 'the most vulgar balladof them all generally pleases me better than the fine modern odes, andthings that petrify us in a single stanza; productions that we at oncedetest and praise. Put the glass to your brother, Moses. --The greatfault of these elegiasts is, that they are in despair for griefs thatgive the sensible part of mankind very little pain. A lady loses hermuff, her fan, or her lap-dog, and so the silly poet runs home toversify the disaster. '

'That may be the mode, ' cried Moses, 'in sublimer compositions; but theRanelagh songs that come down to us are perfectly familiar, and all castin the same mold: Colin meets Dolly, and they hold a dialogue together;he gives her a fairing to put in her hair, and she presents him witha nosegay; and then they go together to church, where they give goodadvice to young nymphs and swains to get married as fast as they can. '

'And very good advice too, ' cried I, 'and I am told there is not a placein the world where advice can be given with so much propriety as there;for, as it persuades us to marry, it also furnishes us with a wife; andsurely that must be an excellent market, my boy, where we are told whatwe want, and supplied with it when wanting. '

'Yes, Sir, ' returned Moses, 'and I know but of two such markets forwives in Europe, Ranelagh in England, and Fontarabia in Spain. ' TheSpanish market is open once a year, but our English wives are saleableevery night. '

'You are right, my boy, ' cried his mother, 'Old England is the onlyplace in the world for husbands to get wives. '--'And for wives to managetheir husbands, ' interrupted I. 'It is a proverb abroad, that if abridge were built across the sea, all the ladies of the Continent wouldcome over to take pattern from ours; for there are no such wives inEurope as our own. 'But let us have one bottle more, Deborah, my life, and Moses give us a good song. What thanks do we not owe to heaven forthus bestowing tranquillity, health, and competence. I think myselfhappier now than the greatest monarch upon earth. He has no suchfire-side, nor such pleasant faces about it. Yes, Deborah, we are nowgrowing old; but the evening of our life is likely to be happy. We aredescended from ancestors that knew no stain, and we shall leave a goodand virtuous race of children behind us. While we live they will be oursupport and our pleasure here, and when we die they will transmit ourhonour untainted to posterity. Come, my son, we wait for a song: letus have a chorus. But where is my darling Olivia? That little cherub'svoice is always sweetest in the concert. '--Just as I spoke Dick camerunning in. 'O pappa, pappa, she is gone from us, she is gone from us, my sister Livy is gone from us for ever'--'Gone, child'--'Yes, she isgone off with two gentlemen in a post chaise, and one of them kissedher, and said he would die for her; and she cried very much, and was forcoming back; but he persuaded her again, and she went into the chaise, and said, O what will my poor pappa do when he knows I am undone!'--'Nowthen, ' cried I, 'my children, go and be miserable; for we shall neverenjoy one hour more. And O may heaven's everlasting fury light upon himand his! Thus to rob me of my child! And sure it will, for taking backmy sweet innocent that I was leading up to heaven. Such sincerity as mychild was possest of. But all our earthly happiness is now over! Go, my children, go, and be miserable and infamous; for my heart isbroken within me!'--'Father, ' cried my son, "is this yourfortitude?'--'Fortitude, child! Yes, he shall see I have fortitude!Bring me my pistols. I'll pursue the traitor. While he is on earth I'llpursue him. Old as I am, he shall find I can sting him yet. The villain!The perfidious villain!'--I had by this time reached down my pistols, when my poor wife, whose passions were not so strong as mine, caught mein her arms. 'My dearest, dearest husband, ' cried she, 'the bible is theonly weapon that is fit for your old hands now. Open that, my love, and read our anguish into patience, for she has vilely deceivedus. '--'Indeed, Sir, ' resumed my son, after a pause, 'your rage is tooviolent and unbecoming. You should be my mother's comforter, and youencrease her pain. It ill suited you and your reverend character thus tocurse your greatest enemy: you should not have curst him, villian as heis. '--'I did not curse him, child, did I?'--'Indeed, Sir, you did; youcurst him twice. '--'Then may heaven forgive me and him if I did. Andnow, my son, I see it was more than human benevolence that first taughtus to bless our enemies! Blest be his holy name for all the good he hathgiven, and for all that he hath taken away. But it is not, it is not, asmall distress that can wring tears from these old eyes, that have notwept for so many years. My Child!--To undo my darling! May confusionseize! Heaven forgive me, what am I about to say! You may remember, mylove, how good she was, and how charming; till this vile moment all hercare was to make us happy. Had she but died! But she is gone, the honourof our family contaminated, and I must look out for happiness in otherworlds than here. But my child, you saw them go off: perhaps he forcedher away? If he forced her, she may 'yet be innocent. '--'Ah no, Sir!'cried the child; 'he only kissed her, and called her his angel, andshe wept very much, and leaned upon his arm, and they drove off veryfast. '--'She's an ungrateful creature, ' cried my wife, who could scarcespeak for weeping, 'to use us thus. She never had the least constraintput upon her affections. The vile strumpet has basely deserted herparents without any provocation, thus to bring your grey hairs to thegrave, and I must shortly follow. '

In this manner that night, the first of our real misfortunes, was spentin the bitterness of complaint, and ill supported sallies of enthusiasm. I determined, however, to find out our betrayer, wherever he was, andreproach his baseness. The next morning we missed our wretched child atbreakfast, where she used to give life and cheerfulness to us all. Mywife, as before, attempted to ease her heart by reproaches. 'Never, 'cried she, 'shall that vilest stain of our family again darken thoseharmless doors. I will never call her daughter more. No, let thestrumpet live with her vile seducer: she may bring us to shame but sheshall never more deceive us. '

'Wife, ' said I, 'do not talk thus hardly: my detestation of her guilt isas great as yours; but ever shall this house and this heart be open toa poor returning repentant sinner. The sooner she returns from hertransgression, the more welcome shall she be to me. For the first timethe very best may err; art may persuade, and novelty spread out itscharm. The first fault is the child of simplicity; but every other theoffspring of guilt. Yes, the wretched creature shall be welcome to thisheart and this house, tho' stained with ten thousand vices. I willagain hearken to the music of her voice, again will I hang fondly on herbosom, if I find but repentance there. My son, bring hither my bible andmy staff, I will pursue her, wherever she is, and tho' I cannot save herfrom shame, I may prevent the continuance of iniquity. '

CHAPTER 18

The pursuit of a father to reclaim a lost child to virtue

Tho' the child could not describe the gentleman's person who handed hissister into the post-chaise, yet my suspicions fell entirely upon ouryoung landlord, whose character for such intrigues was but too wellknown. I therefore directed my steps towards Thornhill-castle, resolvingto upbraid him, and, if possible, to bring back my daughter: but beforeI had reached his seat, I was met by one of my parishioners, who saidhe saw a young lady resembling my daughter in a post-chaise witha gentleman, whom, by the description, I could only guess to be MrBurchell, and that they drove very fast. This information, however, didby no means satisfy me. I therefore went to the young 'Squire's, andthough it was yet early, insisted upon seeing him immediately: he soonappeared with the most open familiar air, and seemed perfectly amazed atmy daughter's elopement, protesting upon his honour that he was quitea stranger to it. I now therefore condemned my former suspicions, andcould turn them only on Mr Burchell, who I recollected had of lateseveral private conferences with her: but the appearance of anotherwitness left me no room to doubt of his villainy, who averred, that heand my daughter were actually gone towards the wells, about thirty milesoff, where there was a great deal of company. Being driven to that stateof mind in which we are more ready to act precipitately than to reasonright, I never debated with myself, whether these accounts might nothave been given by persons purposely placed in my way, to mislead me, but resolved to pursue my daughter and her fancied deluder thither. Iwalked along with earnestness, and enquired of several by the way; butreceived no accounts, till entering the town, I was met by a personon horseback, whom I remembered to have seen at the 'Squire's, and heassured me that if I followed them to the races, which were but thirtymiles farther, I might depend upon overtaking them; for he had seen themdance there the night before, and the whole assembly seemed charmed withmy daughter's performance. Early the next day I walked forward to theraces, and about four in the afternoon I came upon the course. Thecompany made a very brilliant appearance, all earnestly employed in onepursuit, that of pleasure; how different from mine, that of reclaiming alost child to virtue! I thought I perceived Mr Burchell at some distancefrom me; but, as if he dreaded an interview, upon my approaching him, he mixed among a crowd, and I saw him no more. I now reflected that itwould be to no purpose to continue my pursuit farther, and resolved toreturn home to an innocent family, who wanted my assistance. But theagitations of my mind, and the fatigues I had undergone, threw me intoa fever, the symptoms of which I perceived before I came off the course. This was another unexpected stroke, as I was more than seventy milesdistant from home: however, I retired to a little ale-house by theroad-side, and in this place, the usual retreat of indigence andfrugality, I laid me down patiently to wait the issue of my disorder. I languished here for near three weeks; but at last my constitutionprevailed, though I was unprovided with money to defray the expences ofmy entertainment. It is possible the anxiety from this last circumstancealone might have brought on a relapse, had I not been supplied by atraveller, who stopt to take a cursory refreshment. This person was noother than the philanthropic bookseller in St Paul's church-yard, whohas written so many little books for children: he called himself theirfriend; but he was the friend of all mankind. He was no sooner alighted, but he was in haste to be gone; for he was ever on business of theutmost importance, and was at that time actually compiling materialsfor the history of one Mr Thomas Trip. I immediately recollected thisgood-natured man's red pimpled face; for he had published for me againstthe Deuterogamists of the age, and from him I borrowed a few pieces, tobe paid at my return. Leaving the inn, therefore, as I was yet but weak, I resolved to return home by easy journies of ten miles a day. My healthand usual tranquillity were almost restored, and I now condemned thatpride which had made me refractory to the hand of correction. Man littleknows what calamities are beyond his patience to bear till he triesthem; as in ascending the heights of ambition, which look bright frombelow, every step we rise shews us some new and gloomy prospect ofhidden disappointment; so in our descent from the summits of pleasure, though the vale of misery below may appear at first dark and gloomy, yetthe busy mind, still attentive to its own amusement, finds as we descendsomething to flatter and to please. Still as we approach, the darkestobjects appear to brighten, and the mental eye becomes adapted to itsgloomy situation. 

I now proceeded forward, and had walked about two hours, when Iperceived what appeared at a distance like a waggon, which I wasresolved to overtake; but when I came up with it, found it to be astrolling company's cart, that was carrying their scenes and othertheatrical furniture to the next village, where they were to exhibit. The cart was attended only by the person who drove it, and one of thecompany, as the rest of the players were to follow the ensuing day. Good company upon the road, says the proverb, is the shortest cut, Itherefore entered into conversation with the poor player; and as I oncehad some theatrical powers myself, I disserted on such topics with myusual freedom: but as I was pretty much unacquainted with the presentstate of the stage, I demanded who were the present theatrical writersin vogue, who the Drydens and Otways of the day. --'I fancy, Sir, ' criedthe player, 'few of our modern dramatists would think themselves muchhonoured by being compared to the writers you mention. Dryden and Row'smanner, Sir, are quite out of fashion; our taste has gone back a wholecentury, Fletcher, Ben Johnson, and all the plays of Shakespear, are theonly things that go down. '--'How, ' cried I, 'is it possible the presentage can be pleased with that antiquated dialect, that obsoletehumour, those overcharged characters, which abound in the works youmention?'--'Sir, ' returned my companion, 'the public think nothing aboutdialect, or humour, or character; for that is none of their business, they only go to be amused, and find themselves happy when they can enjoya pantomime, under the sanction of Johnson's or Shakespear's name. '--'Sothen, I suppose, ' cried I, 'that our modern dramatists are ratherimitators of Shakespear than of nature. '--'To say the truth, ' returnedmy companion, 'I don't know that they imitate any thing at all; nor, indeed does the public require it of them: it is not the composition ofthe piece, but the number of starts and attitudes that may be introducedinto it that elicits applause. I have known a piece, with not one jestin the whole, shrugged into popularity, and another saved by the poet'sthrowing in a fit of the gripes. No, Sir, the works of Congreve andFarquhar have too much wit in them for the present taste; our moderndialect is much more natural. '

By this time the equipage of the strolling company was arrived at thevillage, which, it seems, had been apprised of our approach, and wascome out to gaze at us; for my companion observed, that strollers alwayshave more spectators without doors than within. I did not consider theimpropriety of my being in such company till I saw a mob gatherabout me. I therefore took shelter, as fast as possible, in the firstale-house that offered, and being shewn into the common room, wasaccosted by a very well-drest gentleman, who demanded whether I was thereal chaplain of the company, or whether it was only to be my masqueradecharacter in the play. Upon informing him of the truth, and that I didnot belong in any sort to the company, he was condescending enough todesire me and the player to partake in a bowl of punch, over which hediscussed modern politics with great earnestness and interest. I set himdown in my mind for nothing less than a parliament-man at least; but wasalmost confirmed in my conjectures, when upon my asking what there wasin the house for supper, he insisted that the Player and I should supwith him at his house, with which request, after some entreaties, wewere prevailed on to comply. 

CHAPTER 19

The description of a person discontented with the present government, and apprehensive of the loss of our liberties

The house where we were to be entertained, lying at a small distancefrom the village, our inviter observed, that as the coach was not ready, he would conduct us on foot, and we soon arrived at one of the mostmagnificent mansions I had seen in that part of the country. Theapartment into which we were shewn was perfectly elegant and modern; hewent to give orders for supper, while the player, with a wink, observedthat we were perfectly in luck. Our entertainer soon returned, an elegant supper was brought in, two or three ladies, in an easydeshabille, were introduced, and the conversation began with somesprightliness. Politics, however, was the subject on which ourentertainer chiefly expatiated; for he asserted that liberty was at oncehis boast and his terror. After the cloth was removed, he asked me if Ihad seen the last Monitor, to which replying in the negative, 'What, northe Auditor, I suppose?' cried he. 'Neither, Sir, ' returned I. 'That'sstrange, very strange, ' replied my entertainer. 'Now, I read allthe politics that come out. The Daily, the Public, the Ledger, theChronicle, the London Evening, the Whitehall Evening, the seventeenmagazines, and the two reviews; and though they hate each other, I lovethem all. Liberty, Sir, liberty is the Briton's boast, and by all mycoal mines in Cornwall, I reverence its guardians. ' 'Then it is tobe hoped, ' cried I, 'you reverence the king. ' 'Yes, ' returned myentertainer, 'when he does what we would have him; but if he goes on ashe has done of late, I'll never trouble myself more with his matters. Isay nothing. I think only. I could have directed some things better. Idon't think there has been a sufficient number of advisers: he shouldadvise with every person willing to give him advice, and then we shouldhave things done in anotherguess manner. '

'I wish, ' cried I, 'that such intruding advisers were fixed in thepillory. It should be the duty of honest men to assist the weaker sideof our constitution, that sacred power that has for some years beenevery day declining, and losing its due share of influence in the state. But these ignorants still continue the cry of liberty, and if they haveany weight basely throw it into the subsiding scale. '

'How, ' cried one of the ladies, 'do I live to see one so base, sosordid, as to be an enemy to liberty, and a defender of tyrants?Liberty, that sacred gift of heaven, that glorious privilege ofBritons!'

'Can it be possible, ' cried our entertainer, 'that there should be anyfound at present advocates for slavery? Any who are for meanly giving upthe privileges of Britons? Can any, Sir, be so abject?'

'No, Sir, ' replied I, 'I am for liberty, that attribute of Gods!Glorious liberty! that theme of modern declamation. I would have all menkings. I would be a king myself. We have all naturally an equal rightto the throne: we are all originally equal. This is my opinion, and wasonce the opinion of a set of honest men who were called Levellers. ' Theytried to erect themselves into a community, where all should be equallyfree. But, alas! it would never answer; for there were some among themstronger, and some more cunning than others, and these became masters ofthe rest; for as sure as your groom rides your horses, because he is acunninger animal than they, so surely will the animal that is cunningeror stronger than he, sit upon his shoulders in turn. Since then it isentailed upon humanity to submit, and some are born to command, andothers to obey, the question is, as there must be tyrants, whether it isbetter to have them in the same house with us, or in the same village, or still farther off, in the metropolis. Now, Sir, for my own part, as Inaturally hate the face of a tyrant, the farther off he is removed fromme, the better pleased am I. The generality of mankind also are of myway of thinking, and have unanimously created one king, whose electionat once diminishes the number of tyrants, and puts tyranny at thegreatest distance from the greatest number of people. Now the great whowere tyrants themselves before the election of one tyrant, are naturallyaverse to a power raised over them, and whose weight must ever leanheaviest on the subordinate orders. It is the interest of the great, therefore, to diminish kingly power as much as possible; becausewhatever they take from that is naturally restored to themselves; andall they have to do in the state, is to undermine the single tyrant, bywhich they resume their primaeval authority. Now, the state may be socircumstanced, or its laws may be so disposed, or its men of opulence sominded, as all to conspire in carrying on this business of underminingmonarchy. For, in the first place, if the circumstances of our statebe such, as to favour the accumulation of wealth, and make the opulentstill more rich, this will encrease their ambition. An accumulation ofwealth, however, must necessarily be the consequence, when as at presentmore riches flow in from external commerce, than arise from internalindustry: for external commerce can only be managed to advantage by therich, and they have also at the same time all the emoluments arisingfrom internal industry: so that the rich, with us, have two sources ofwealth, whereas the poor have but one. For this reason, wealth in allcommercial states is found to accumulate, and all such have hitherto intime become aristocratical. Again, the very laws also of this countrymay contribute to the accumulation of wealth; as when by their means thenatural ties that bind the rich and poor together are broken, and itis ordained that the rich shall only marry with the rich; or when thelearned are held unqualified to serve their country as counsellorsmerely from a defect of opulence, and wealth is thus made the object ofa wise man's ambition; by these means I say, and such means as these, riches will accumulate. Now the possessor of accumulated wealth, whenfurnished with the necessaries and pleasures of life, has no othermethod to employ the superfluity of his fortune but in purchasing power. That is, differently speaking, in making dependents, by purchasing theliberty of the needy or the venal, of men who are willing to bear themortification of contiguous tyranny for bread. Thus each very opulentman generally gathers round him a circle of the poorest of the people;and the polity abounding in accumulated wealth, may be compared to aCartesian system, each orb with a vortex of its own. Those, however, whoare willing to move in a great man's vortex, are only such as mustbe slaves, the rabble of mankind, whose souls and whose education areadapted to servitude, and who know nothing of liberty except the name. But there must still be a large number of the people without the sphereof the opulent man's influence, namely, that order of men which subsistsbetween the very rich and the very rabble; those men who are possest oftoo large fortunes to submit to the neighbouring man in power, and yetare too poor to set up for tyranny themselves. In this middle order ofmankind are generally to be found all the arts, wisdom, and virtues ofsociety. This order alone is known to be the true preserver of freedom, and may be called the People. Now it may happen that this middle orderof mankind may lose all its influence in a state, and its voice be in amanner drowned in that of the rabble: for if the fortune sufficient forqualifying a person at present to give his voice in state affairs, beten times less than was judged sufficient upon forming the constitution, it is evident that greater numbers of the rabble will thus be introducedinto the political system, and they ever moving in the vortex of thegreat, will follow where greatness shall direct. In such a state, therefore, all that the middle order has left, is to preserve theprerogative and privileges of the one principal governor with the mostsacred circumspection. For he divides the power of the rich, and callsoff the great from falling with tenfold weight on the middle orderplaced beneath them. The middle order may be compared to a town of whichthe opulent are forming the siege, and which the governor from withoutis hastening the relief. While the besiegers are in dread of an enemyover them, it is but natural to offer the townsmen the most speciousterms; to flatter them with sounds, and amuse them with privileges: butif they once defeat the governor from behind, the walls of the town willbe but a small defence to its inhabitants. What they may then expect, may be seen by turning our eyes to Holland, Genoa, or Venice, where thelaws govern the poor, and the rich govern the law. I am then for, andwould die for, monarchy, sacred monarchy; for if there be any thingsacred amongst men, it must be the anointed sovereign of his people, andevery diminution of his power in war, or in peace, is an infringementupon the real liberties of the subject. The sounds of liberty, patriotism, and Britons, have already done much, it is to be hoped thatthe true sons of freedom will prevent their ever doing more. I haveknown many of those pretended champions for liberty in my time, yet do Inot remember one that was not in his heart and in his family a tyrant. '

My warmth I found had lengthened this harangue beyond the rules of goodbreeding: but the impatience of my entertainer, who often strove tointerrupt it, could be restrained no longer. 'What, ' cried he, 'then Ihave been all this while entertaining a Jesuit in parson's cloaths;but by all the coal mines of Cornwall, out he shall pack, if my namebe Wilkinson. ' I now found I had gone too far, and asked pardon forthe warmth with which I had spoken. 'Pardon, ' returned he in a fury:'I think such principles demand ten thousand pardons. What, give upliberty, property, and, as the Gazetteer says, lie down to be saddledwith wooden shoes! Sir, I insist upon your marching out of this houseimmediately, to prevent worse consequences, Sir, I insist upon it. 'I was going to repeat my rernonstrances; but just then we heard afootman's rap at the door, and the two ladies cried out, 'As sureas death there is our master and mistress come home. ' It seems myentertainer was all this while only the butler, who, in his master'sabsence, had a mind to cut a figure, and be for a while the gentlemanhimself; and, to say the truth, he talked politics as well as mostcountry gentlemen do. But nothing could now exceed my confusion uponseeing the gentleman, and his lady, enter, nor was their surprize, atfinding such company and good cheer, less than ours. 'Gentlemen, ' criedthe real master of the house, to me and my companion, 'my wife and I areyour most humble servants; but I protest this is so unexpected a favour, that we almost sink under the obligation. ' However unexpected ourcompany might be to them, theirs, I am sure, was still more so to us, and I was struck dumb with the apprehensions of my own absurdity, whenwhom should I next see enter the room but my dear miss Arabella Wilmot, who was formerly designed to be married to my son George; but whosematch was broken off, as already related. As soon as she saw me, sheflew to my arms with the utmost joy. 'My dear sir, ' cried she, 'to whathappy accident is it that we owe so unexpected a visit? I am sure myuncle and aunt will be in raptures when they find they have the good DrPrimrose for their guest. ' Upon hearing my name, the old gentlemanand lady very politely stept up, and welcomed me with most cordialhospitality. Nor could they forbear smiling upon being informed of thenature of my present visit: but the unfortunate butler, whom they atfirst seemed disposed to turn away, was, at my intercession, forgiven. 

Mr Arnold and his lady, to whom the house belonged, now insisted uponhaving the pleasure of my stay for some days, and as their niece, mycharming pupil, whose mind, in some measure, had been formed under myown instructions, joined in their entreaties. I complied. That nightI was shewn to a magnificent chamber, and the next morning early MissWilmot desired to walk with me in the garden, which was decorated in themodern manner. After some time spent in pointing out the beauties of theplace, she enquired with seeming unconcern, when last I had heard frommy son George. 'Alas! Madam, ' cried I, 'he has now been near three yearsabsent, without ever writing to his friends or me. Where he is I knownot; perhaps I shall never see him or happiness more. No, my dear Madam, we shall never more see such pleasing hours as were once spent by ourfire-side at Wakefield. My little family are now dispersing veryfast, and poverty has brought not only want, but infamy upon us. ' Thegood-natured girl let fall a tear at this account; but as I saw herpossessed of too much sensibility, I forbore a more minute detail of oursufferings. It was, however, some consolation to me to find that timehad made no alteration in her affections, and that she had rejectedseveral matches that had been made her since our leaving her part of thecountry. She led me round all the extensive improvements of the place, pointing to the several walks and arbours, and at the same time catchingfrom every object a hint for some new question relative to my son. In this manner we spent the forenoon, till the bell summoned us into dinner, where we found the manager of the strolling company thatI mentioned before, who was come to dispose of tickets for the FairPenitent, which was to be acted that evening, the part of Horatio bya young gentleman who had never appeared on any stage. He seemed tobe very warm in the praises of the new performer, and averred, that henever saw any who bid so fair for excellence. Acting, he observed, wasnot learned in a day; 'But this gentleman, ' continued he, 'seems bornto tread the stage. His voice, his figure, and attitudes, are alladmirable. We caught him up accidentally in our journey down. ' Thisaccount, in some measure, excited our curiosity, and, at the entreatyof the ladies, I was prevailed upon to accompany them to the play-house, which was no other than a barn. As the company with which I went wasincontestably the chief of the place, we were received with the greatestrespect, and placed in the front seat of the theatre; where we sate forsome time with no small impatience to see Horatio make his appearance. The new performer advanced at last, and let parents think of mysensations by their own, when I found it was my unfortunate son. He wasgoing to begin, when, turning his eyes upon the audience, he perceivedMiss Wilmot and me, and stood at once speechless and immoveable. The actors behind the scene, who ascribed this pause to his naturaltimidity, attempted to encourage him; but instead of going on, he burstinto a flood of tears, and retired off the stage. I don't know what weremy feelings on this occasion; for they succeeded with too much rapidityfor description: but I was soon awaked from this disagreeable reverie byMiss Wilmot, who, pale and with a trembling voice, desired me to conducther back to her uncle's. When got home, Mr Arnold, who was as yet astranger to our extraordinary behaviour, being informed that the newperformer was my son, sent his coach, and an invitation, for him; and ashe persisted in his refusal to appear again upon the stage, the playersput another in his place, and we soon had him with us. Mr Arnold gavehim the kindest reception, and I received him with my usual transport;for I could never counterfeit false resentment. Miss Wilmot's receptionwas mixed with seeming neglect, and yet I could perceive she acted astudied part. The tumult in her mind seemed not yet abated; she saidtwenty giddy things that looked like joy, and then laughed loud ather own want of meaning. At intervals she would take a sly peep at theglass, as if happy in the consciousness of unresisting beauty, andoften would ask questions, without giving any manner of attention to theanswers. 

CHAPTER 20

The history of a philosophic vagabond, pursuing novelty, but losingcontent

After we had supped, Mrs Arnold politely offered to send a couple of herfootmen for my son's baggage, which he at first seemed to decline; butupon her pressing the request, he was obliged to inform her, that astick and a wallet were all the moveable things upon this earth that hecould boast of. 'Why, aye my son, ' cried I, 'you left me but poor, andpoor I find you are come back; and yet I make no doubt you have seen agreat deal of the world. '--'Yes, Sir, ' replied my son, 'but travellingafter fortune, is not the way to secure her; and, indeed, of late, Ihave desisted from the pursuit. '--'I fancy, Sir, ' cried Mrs Arnold, 'that the account of your adventures would be amusing: the first part ofthem I have often heard from my niece; but could the company prevail forthe rest, it would be an additional obligation. '--'Madam, ' replied myson, 'I promise you the pleasure you have in hearing, will not be halfso great as my vanity in repeating them; and yet in the whole narrativeI can scarce promise you one adventure, as my account is rather of whatI saw than what I did. The first misfortune of my life, which you allknow, was great; but tho' it distrest, it could not sink me. No personever had a better knack at hoping than I. The less kind I found fortuneat one time, the more I expected from her another, and being now atthe bottom of her wheel, every new revolution might lift, but could notdepress me. I proceeded, therefore, towards London in a fine morning, no way uneasy about tomorrow, but chearful as the birds that caroll'd bythe road, and comforted myself with reflecting that London was themart where abilities of every kind were sure of meeting distinction andreward. 

'Upon my arrival in town, Sir, my first care was to deliver your letterof recommendation to our cousin, who was himself in little bettercircumstances than I. My first scheme, you know, Sir, was to be usherat an academy, and I asked his advice on the affair. Our cousin receivedthe proposal with a true Sardonic grin. Aye, cried he, this is indeeda very pretty career, that has been chalked out for you. I have been anusher at a boarding school myself; and may I die by an anodyne necklace, but I had rather be an under turnkey in Newgate. I was up early andlate: I was brow-beat by the master, hated for my ugly face by themistress, worried by the boys within, and never permitted to stir out tomeet civility abroad. But are you sure you are fit for a school? Let meexamine you a little. Have you been bred apprentice to the business? No. Then you won't do for a school. Can you dress the boys hair? No. Thenyou won't do for a school. Have you had the small-pox? No. Then youwon't do for a school. Can you lie three in a bed? No. Then you willnever do for a school. Have you got a good stomach? Yes. Then you willby no means do for a school. No, Sir, if you are for a genteel easyprofession, bind yourself seven years as an apprentice to turn acutler's wheel; but avoid a school by any means. Yet come, continued he, I see you are a lad of spirit and some learning, what do you think ofcommencing author, like me? You have read in books, no doubt, of men ofgenius starving at the trade: At present I'll shew you forty very dullfellows about town that live by it in opulence. All honest joggtrot men, who go on smoothly and dully, and write history and politics, and arepraised; men, Sir, who, had they been bred coblers, would all theirlives have only mended shoes, but never made them. 

'Finding that there was no great degree of gentility affixed to thecharacter of an usher, I resolved to accept his proposal; and having thehighest respect for literature, hailed the antiqua mater of Grub-streetwith reverence. I thought it my glory to pursue a track which Drydenand Otway trod before me. I considered the goddess of this region as theparent of excellence; and however an intercourse with the world mightgive us good sense, the poverty she granted I supposed to be the nurseof genius! Big with these reflections, I sate down, and finding that thebest things remained to be said on the wrong side, I resolved to writea book that should be wholly new. I therefore drest up three paradoxeswith some ingenuity. They were false, indeed, but they were new. Thejewels of truth have been so often imported by others, that nothing wasleft for me to import but some splendid things that at a distance lookedevery bit as well. Witness you powers what fancied importance sateperched upon my quill while I was writing. The whole learned world, Imade no doubt, would rise to oppose my systems; but then I was preparedto oppose the whole learned world. Like the porcupine I sate selfcollected, with a quill pointed against every opposer. '

'Well said, my boy, ' cried I, 'and what subject did you treat upon? Ihope you did not pass over the importance of Monogamy. But I interrupt, go on; you published your paradoxes; well, and what did the learnedworld say to your paradoxes?'

'Sir, ' replied my son, 'the learned world said nothing to my paradoxes;nothing at all, Sir. Every man of them was employed in praising hisfriends and himself, or condemning his enemies; and unfortunately, as Ihad neither, I suffered the cruellest mortification, neglect. 

'As I was meditating one day in a coffee-house on the fate of myparadoxes, a little man happening to enter the room, placed himself inthe box before me, and after some preliminary discourse, finding me tobe a scholar, drew out a bundle of proposals, begging me to subscribe toa new edition he was going to give the world of Propertius, with notes. This demand necessarily produced a reply that I had no money; andthat concession led him to enquire into the nature of my expectations. Finding that my expectations were just as great as my purse, I see, cried he, you are unacquainted with the town, I'll teach you a part ofit. Look at these proposals, upon these very proposals I have subsistedvery comfortably for twelve years. The moment a nobleman returns fromhis travels, a Creolian arrives from Jamaica, or a dowager from hercountry seat, I strike for a subscription. I first besiege their heartswith flattery, and then pour in my proposals at the breach. If theysubscribe readily the first time, I renew my request to beg a dedicationfee. If they let me have that, I smite them once more for engravingtheir coat of arms at the top. Thus, continued he, I live by vanity, andlaugh at it. But between ourselves, I am now too well known, I shouldbe glad to borrow your face a bit: a nobleman of distinction has justreturned from Italy; my face is familiar to his porter; but if youbring this copy of verses, my life for it you succeed, and we divide thespoil. '

'Bless us, George, ' cried I, 'and is this the employment of poets now!Do men of their exalted talents thus stoop to beggary! Can they so fardisgrace their calling, as to make a vile traffic of praise for bread?'

'O no, Sir, ' returned he, 'a true poet can never be so base; forwherever there is genius there is pride. The creatures I now describeare only beggars in rhyme. The real poet, as he braves every hardshipfor fame, so he is equally a coward to contempt, and none but those whoare unworthy protection condescend to solicit it. 

'Having a mind too proud to stoop to such indignities, and yet a fortunetoo humble to hazard a second attempt for fame, I was now, obliged totake a middle course, and write for bread. But I was unqualified for aprofession where mere industry alone was to ensure success. I could notsuppress my lurking passion for applause; but usually consumed thattime in efforts after excellence which takes up but little room, whenit should have been more advantageously employed in the diffusiveproductions of fruitful mediocrity. My little piece would therefore comeforth in the mist of periodical publication, unnoticed and unknown. The public were more importantly employed, than to observe the easysimplicity of my style, of the harmony of my periods. Sheet after sheetwas thrown off to oblivion. My essays were buried among the essaysupon liberty, eastern tales, and cures for the bite of a mad dog; whilePhilautos, Philalethes, Philelutheros, and Philanthropos, all wrotebetter, because they wrote faster, than I. 

'Now, therefore, I began to associate with none but disappointedauthors, like myself, who praised, deplored, and despised each other. The satisfaction we found in every celebrated writer's attempts, wasinversely as their merits. I found that no genius in another couldplease me. My unfortunate paradoxes had entirely dried up that sourceof comfort. I could neither read nor write with satisfaction; forexcellence in another was my aversion, and writing was my trade. 

'In the midst of these gloomy reflections, as I was one day sitting on abench in St James's park, a young gentleman of distinction, who had beenmy intimate acquaintance at the university, approached me. We salutedeach other with some hesitation, he almost ashamed of being known toone who made so shabby an appearance, and I afraid of a repulse. Butmy suspicions soon vanished; for Ned Thornhill was at the bottom a verygood-natured fellow. 

'What did you say, George?' interrupted I. 'Thornhill, was not that hisname? It can certainly be no other than my landlord. '--'Bless me, ' criedMrs Arnold, 'is Mr Thornhill so near a neighbour of yours? He has longbeen a friend in our family, and we expect a visit from him shortly. '

'My friend's first care, ' continued my son, 'was to alter my appearanceby a very fine suit of his own cloaths, and then I was admitted to histable upon the footing of half-friend, half-underling. My business wasto attend him at auctions, to put him in spirits when he sate forhis picture, to take the left hand in his chariot when not filled byanother, and to assist at tattering a kip, as the phrase was, whenwe had a mind for a frolic. Beside this, I had twenty other littleemployments in the family. I was to do many small things withoutbidding; to carry the cork screw; to stand godfather to all the butler'schildren; to sing when I was bid; to be never out of humour; always tobe humble, and, if I could, to be very happy. 

'In this honourable post, however, I was not without a rival. A captainof marines, who was formed for the place by nature, opposed me in mypatron's affections. His mother had been laundress to a man of quality, and thus he early acquired a taste for pimping and pedigree. As thisgentleman made it the study of his life to be acquainted with lords, though he was dismissed from several for his stupidity; yet hefound many of them who were as dull as himself, that permitted hisassiduities. As flattery was his trade, he practised it with the easiestaddress imaginable; but it came aukward and stiff from me; and as everyday my patron's desire of flattery encreased, so every hour being betteracquainted with his defects, I became more unwilling to give it. Thus Iwas once more fairly going to give up the field to the captain, when myfriend found occasion for my assistance. This was nothing less than tofight a duel for him, with a gentleman whose sister it was pretended hehad used ill. I readily complied with his request, and tho' I see youare displeased at my conduct, yet as it was a debt indispensably dueto friendship, I could not refuse. I undertook the affair, disarmed myantagonist, and soon after had the pleasure of finding that the lady wasonly a woman of the town, and the fellow her bully and a sharper. Thispiece of service was repaid with the warmest professions of gratitude;but as my friend was to leave town in a few days, he knew no othermethod of serving me, but by recommending me to his uncle Sir WilliamThornhill, and another nobleman of great distinction, who enjoyed a postunder the government. When he was gone, my first care was to carry hisrecommendatory letter to his uncle, a man whose character for everyvirtue was universal, yet just. I was received by his servants with themost hospitable smiles; for the looks of the domestics ever transmittheir master's benevolence. Being shewn into a grand apartment, whereSir William soon came to me, I delivered my message and letter, whichhe read, and after pausing some minutes, Pray, Sir, cried he, inform mewhat you have done for my kinsman, to deserve this warm recommendation?But I suppose, Sir, I guess your merits, you have fought for him; andso you would expect a reward from me, for being the instrument of hisvices. I wish, sincerely wish, that my present refusal may be somepunishment for your guilt; but still more, that it may be someinducement to your repentance. --The severity of this rebuke I borepatiently, because I knew it was just. My whole expectations now, therefore, lay in my letter to the great man. As the doors of thenobility are almost ever beset with beggars, all ready to thrust in somesly petition, I found it no easy matter to gain admittance. However, after bribing the servants with half my worldly fortune, I was at lastshewn into a spacious apartment, my letter being previously sent up forhis lordship's inspection. During this anxious interval I had full timeto look round me. Every thing was grand, and of happy contrivance:the paintings, the furniture, the gildings, petrified me with awe, andraised my idea of the owner. Ah, thought I to myself, how very greatmust the possessor of all these things be, who carries in his head thebusiness of the state, and whose house displays half the wealth ofa kingdom: sure his genius must be unfathomable! During these awfulreflections I heard a step come heavily forward. Ah, this is the greatman himself! No, it was only a chambermaid. Another foot was heardsoon after. This must be He! No, it was only the great man's valet dechambre. At last his lordship actually made his appearance. Are you, cried he, the bearer of this here letter? I answered with a bow. I learnby this, continued he, as how that--But just at that instant a servantdelivered him a card, and without taking farther notice, he went out ofthe room, and left me to digest my own happiness at leisure. I saw nomore of him, till told by a footman that his lordship was going to hiscoach at the door. Down I immediately followed, and joined my voice tothat of three or four more, who came, like me, to petition for favours. His lordship, however, went too fast for us, and was gaining his Chariotdoor with large strides, when I hallowed out to know if I was to haveany reply. He was by this time got in, and muttered an answer, halfof which only I heard, the other half was lost in the rattling of hischariot wheels. I stood for some time with my neck stretched out, inthe posture of one that was listening to catch the glorious sounds, tilllooking round me, I found myself alone at his lordship's gate. 

'My patience, ' continued my son, 'was now quite exhausted: stung withthe thousand indignities I had met with, I was willing to cast myselfaway, and only wanted the gulph to receive me. I regarded myself as oneof those vile things that nature designed should be thrown by into herlumber room, there to perish in obscurity. I had still, however, halfa guinea left, and of that I thought fortune herself should not depriveme: but in order to be sure of this, I was resolved to go instantly andspend it while I had it, and then trust to occurrences for the rest. As I was going along with this resolution, it happened that Mr Cripse'soffice seemed invitingly open to give me a welcome reception. In thisoffice Mr Cripse kindly offers all his majesty's subjects a generouspromise of 30 pounds a year, for which promise all they give in returnis their liberty for life, and permission to let him transport them toAmerica as slaves. I was happy at finding a place where I could lose myfears in desperation, and entered this cell, for it had the appearanceof one, with the devotion of a monastic. Here I found a number of poorcreatures, all in circumstances like myself, expecting the arrival ofMr Cripse, presenting a true epitome of English impatience. Eachuntractable soul at variance with fortune, wreaked her injuries on theirown hearts: but Mr Cripse at last came down, and all our murmurs werehushed. He deigned to regard me with an air of peculiar approbation, and indeed he was the first man who for a month past talked to me withsmiles. After a few questions, he found I was fit for every thing in theworld. He paused a while upon the properest means of providing for me, and slapping his forehead, as if he had found it, assured me, that therewas at that time an embassy talked of from the synod of Pensylvania tothe Chickasaw Indians, and that he would use his interest to get memade secretary. I knew in my own heart that the fellow lied, and yethis promise gave me pleasure, there was something so magnificent in thesound. I fairly, therefore, divided my half guinea, one half of whichwent to be added to his thirty thousand pound, and with the other half Iresolved to go to the next tavern, to be there more happy than he. 

'As I was going out with that resolution, I was met at the door by thecaptain of a ship, with whom I had formerly some little acquaintance, and he agreed to be my companion over a bowl of punch. As I never choseto make a secret of my circumstances, he assured me that I was upon thevery point of ruin, in listening to the office-keeper's promises; forthat he only designed to sell me to the plantations. But, continued he, I fancy you might, by a much shorter voyage, be very easily put intoa genteel way of bread. Take my advice. My ship sails to-morrow forAmsterdam; What if you go in her as a passenger? The moment you land allyou have to do is to teach the Dutchmen English, and I'll warrant you'llget pupils and money enough. I suppose you understand English, added he, by this time, or the deuce is in it. I confidently assured him ofthat; but expressed a doubt whether the Dutch would be willing tolearn English. He affirmed with an oath that they were fond of it todistraction; and upon that affirmation I agreed with his proposal, andembarked the next day to teach the Dutch English in Holland. The windwas fair, our voyage short, and after having paid my passage with halfmy moveables, I found myself, fallen as from the skies, a strangerin one of the principal streets of Amsterdam. In this situation I wasunwilling to let any time pass unemployed in teaching. I addressedmyself therefore to two or three of those I met whose appearanceseemed most promising; but it was impossible to make ourselves mutuallyunderstood. It was not till this very moment I recollected, that inorder to teach Dutchmen English, it was necessary that they should firstteach me Dutch. How I came to overlook so obvious an objection, is to meamazing; but certain it is I overlooked it

'This scheme thus blown up, I had some thoughts of fairly shipping backto England again; but happening into company with an Irish student, who was returning from Louvain, our conversation turning upon topics ofliterature, (for by the way it may be observed that I always forgot themeanness of my circumstances when I could converse upon such subjects)from him I learned that there were not two men in his whole universitywho understood Greek. This amazed me. I instantly resolved to travelto Louvain, and there live by teaching Greek; and in this design I washeartened by my brother student, who threw out some hints that a fortunemight be got by it. 'I set boldly forward the next morning. Every daylessened the burthen of my moveables, like Aesop and his basket ofbread; for I paid them for my lodgings to the Dutch as I travelled on. When I came to Louvain, I was resolved not to go sneaking to the lowerprofessors, but openly tendered my talents to the principal himself. I went, had admittance, and offered him my service as a master ofthe Greek language, which I had been told was a desideratum in hisuniversity. The principal seemed at first to doubt of my abilities;but of these I offered to convince him, by turning a part of any Greekauthor he should fix upon into Latin. Finding me perfectly earnest in myproposal, he addressed me thus: You see me, young man, continued he, Inever learned Greek, and I don't find that I have ever missed it. I havehad a doctor's cap and gown without Greek: I have ten thousand florinsa year without Greek; I eat heartily without Greek, and in short, continued he, as I don't know Greek, I do not believe there is any goodin it. 

'I was now too far from home to think of returning; so I resolved to goforward. I had some knowledge of music, with a tolerable voice, and nowturned what was once my amusement into a present means of subsistence. I passed among the harmless peasants of Flanders, and among such ofthe French as were poor enough to be very merry; for I ever foundthem sprightly in proportion to their wants. Whenever I approached apeasant's house towards night-fall, I played one of my most merry tunes, and that procured me not only a lodging, but subsistence for the nextday. I once or twice attempted to play for people of fashion; but theyalways thought my performance odious, and never rewarded me even witha trifle. This was to me the more extraordinary, as whenever I used inbetter days to play for company, when playing was my amusement, my musicnever failed to throw them into raptures, and the ladies especially; butas it was now my only means, it was received with contempt: a proofhow ready the world is to under rate those talents by which a man issupported. 

'In this manner I proceeded to Paris, with no design but just to lookabout me, and then to go forward. The people of Paris are much fonder ofstrangers that have money, than of those that have wit. As I could notboast much of either, I was no great favourite. After walking about thetown four or five days, and seeing the outsides of the best houses, Iwas preparing to leave this retreat of venal hospitality, when passingthrough one of the principal streets, whom should I meet but our cousin, to whom you first recommended me. This meeting was very agreeable to me, and I believe not displeasing to him. He enquired into the nature of myjourney to Paris, and informed me of his own business there, which wasto collect pictures, medals, intaglios, and antiques of all kinds, for agentleman in London, who had just stept into taste and a large fortune. I was the more surprised at seeing our cousin pitched upon for thisoffice, as he himself had often assured me he knew nothing of thematter. Upon my asking how he had been taught the art of a connoscentoso very suddenly, he assured me that nothing was more easy. The wholesecret consisted in a strict adherence to two rules: the one alwaysto observe, that the picture might have been better if the painter hadtaken more pains; and the other, to praise the works of Pietro Perugino. But, says he, as I once taught you how to be an author in London, I'llnow undertake to instruct you in the art of picture buying at Paris. 

'With this proposal I very readily closed, as it was a living, and nowall my ambition was to live. I went therefore to his lodgings, improvedmy dress by his assistance, and after some time, accompanied him toauctions of pictures, where the English gentry were expected to bepurchasers. I was not a little surprised at his intimacy with peopleof the best fashion, who referred themselves to his judgment upon everypicture or medal, as to an unerring standard of taste. He made very gooduse of my assistance upon these occasions; for when asked his opinion, he would gravely take me aside, and ask mine, shrug, look wise, return, and assure the company, that he could give no opinion upon an affairof so much importance. Yet there was sometimes an occasion for a moresupported assurance. I remember to have seen him, after giving hisopinion that the colouring of a picture was not mellow enough, verydeliberately take a brush with brown varnish, that was accidentallylying by, and rub it over the piece with great composure before all thecompany, and then ask if he had not improved the tints. 

'When he had finished his commission in Paris, he left me stronglyrecommended to several men of distinction, as a person very proper for atravelling tutor; and after some time I was employed in that capacity bya gentleman who brought his ward to Paris, in order to set him forwardon his tour through Europe. I was to be the young gentleman's governor, but with a proviso that he should always be permitted to govern himself. My pupil in fact understood the art of guiding in money concerns muchbetter than I. He was heir to a fortune of about two hundred thousandpounds, left him by an uncle in the West Indies; and his guardians, toqualify him for the management of it, had bound him apprentice to anattorney. Thus avarice was his prevailing passion: all his questions onthe road were how money might be saved, which was the least expensivecourse of travel; whether any thing could be bought that would turn toaccount when disposed of again in London. Such curiosities on the wayas could be seen for nothing he was ready enough to look at; but if thesight of them was to be paid for, he usually asserted that he had beentold they were not worth seeing. He never paid a bill, that he would notobserve, how amazingly expensive travelling was, and all this though hewas not yet twenty-one. When arrived at Leghorn, as we took a walk tolook at the port and shipping, he enquired the expence of the passage bysea home to England. This he was informed was but a trifle, comparedto his returning by land, he was therefore unable to withstand thetemptation; so paying me the small part of my salary that was due, hetook leave, and embarked with only one attendant for London. 

'I now therefore was left once more upon the world at large, but thenit was a thing I was used to. However my skill in music could avail menothing in a country where every peasant was a better musician thanI; but by this time I had acquired another talent, which answered mypurpose as well, and this was a skill in disputation. In all the foreignuniversities and convents, there are upon certain days philosophicaltheses maintained against every adventitious disputant; for which, ifthe champion opposes with any dexterity, he can claim a gratuity inmoney, a dinner, and a bed, for one night. In this manner therefore Ifought my way towards England, walked along from city to city, examinedmankind more nearly, and, if I may so express it, saw both sides of thepicture. My remarks, however, are but few: I found that monarchy was thebest government for the poor to live in, and commonwealths for the rich. I found that riches in general were in every country another name forfreedom; and that no man is so fond of liberty himself as not to bedesirous of subjecting the will of some individuals in society to hisown. 

'Upon my arrival in England, I resolved to pay my respects first to you, and then to enlist as a volunteer in the first expedition that was goingforward; but on my journey down my resolutions were changed, by meetingan old acquaintance, who I found belonged to a company of comedians, that were going to make a summer campaign in the country. The companyseemed not much to disapprove of me for an associate. They all, however, apprized me of the importance of the task at which I aimed; that thepublic was a many headed monster, and that only such as had very goodheads could please it: that acting was not to be learnt in a day; andthat without some traditional shrugs, which had been on the stage, andonly on the stage, these hundred years, I could never pretend to please. The next difficulty was in fitting me with parts, as almost everycharacter was in keeping. I was driven for some time from one characterto another, till at last Horatio was fixed upon, which the presence ofthe present company has happily hindered me from acting. '

CHAPTER 21

The short continuance of friendship amongst the vicious, which is coevalonly with mutual satisfaction

My son's account was too long to be delivered at once, the first part ofit was begun that night, and he was concluding the rest after dinnerthe next day, when the appearance of Mr Thornhill's equipage at the doorseemed to make a pause in the general satisfaction. The butler, who wasnow become my friend in the family, informed me with a whisper, thatthe 'Squire had already made some overtures to Miss Wilmot, and that heraunt and uncle seemed highly to approve the match. Upon Mr Thornhill'sentering, he seemed, at seeing my son and me, to start back; but Ireadily imputed that to surprize, and not displeasure. However, upon ouradvancing to salute him, he returned our greeting with the most apparentcandour; and after a short time, his presence served only to encreasethe general good humour. 

After tea he called me aside, to enquire after my daughter; but uponmy informing him that my enquiry was unsuccessful, he seemed greatlysurprised; adding, that he had been since frequently at my house, inorder to comfort the rest of my family, whom he left perfectly well. Hethen asked if I had communicated her misfortune to Miss Wilmot, or myson; and upon my replying that I had not told them as yet, he greatlyapproved my prudence and precaution, desiring me by all means to keepit a secret: 'For at best, ' cried he, 'it is but divulging one's owninfamy; and perhaps Miss Livy may not be so guilty as we all imagine. 'We were here interrupted by a servant, who came to ask the 'Squire in, to stand up at country dances; so that he left me quite pleased with theinterest he seemed to take in my concerns. His addresses, however, toMiss Wilmot, were too obvious to be mistaken; and yet she seemed notperfectly pleased, but bore them rather in compliance to the will of heraunt, than from real inclination. I had even the satisfaction to see herlavish some kind looks upon my unfortunate son, which the other couldneither extort by his fortune nor assiduity. Mr Thornhill's seemingcomposure, however, not a little surprised me: we had now continued herea week, at the pressing instances of Mr Arnold; but each day the moretenderness Miss Wilmot shewed my son, Mr Thomhill's friendship seemedproportionably to encrease for him. 

He had formerly made us the most kind assurances of using his interestto serve the family; but now his generosity was not confined to promisesalone: the morning I designed for my departure, Mr Thornhill came to mewith looks of real pleasure to inform me of a piece of service hehad done for his friend George. This was nothing less than his havingprocured him an ensign's commission in one of the regiments that wasgoing to the West Indies, for which he had promised but one hundredpounds, his interest having been sufficient to get an abatement of theother two. 'As for this trifling piece of service, ' continued the younggentleman, 'I desire no other reward but the pleasure of having servedmy friend; and as for the hundred pound to be paid, if you are unable toraise it yourselves, I will advance it, and you shall repay me at yourleisure. ' This was a favour we wanted words to express our sense of. I readily therefore gave my bond for the money, and testified as muchgratitude as if I never intended to pay. 

George was to depart for town the next day to secure his commission, in pursuance of his generous patron's directions, who judged it highlyexpedient to use dispatch, lest in the mean time another should step inwith more advantageous proposals. The next morning, therefore, our youngsoldier was early prepared for his departure, and seemed the only personamong us that was not affected by it. Neither the fatigues and dangershe was going to encounter, nor the friends and mistress, for Miss Wilmotactually loved him, he was leaving behind, any way damped his spirits. After he had taken leave of the rest of the company, I gave him all Ihad, my blessing. 'And now, my boy, ' cried I, 'thou art going to fightfor thy country, remember how thy brave grandfather fought for hissacred king, when loyalty among Britons was a virtue. Go, my boy, andimmitate him in all but his misfortunes, if it was a misfortune to diewith Lord Falkland. Go, my boy, and if you fall, tho' distant, exposedand unwept by those that love you, the most precious tears are thosewith which heaven bedews the unburied head of a soldier. '

The next morning I took leave of the good family, that had been kindenough to entertain me so long, not without several expressions ofgratitude to Mr Thornhill for his late bounty. I left them in theenjoyment of all that happiness which affluence and good breedingprocure, and returned towards home, despairing of ever finding mydaughter more, but sending a sigh to heaven to spare and to forgive her. I was now come within about twenty miles of home, having hired an horseto carry me, as I was yet but weak, and comforted myself with the hopesof soon seeing all I held dearest upon earth. But the night coming on, I put up at a little public-house by the roadside, and asked for thelandlord's company over a pint of wine. We sate beside his kitchen fire, which was the best room in the house, and chatted on politics and thenews of the country. We happened, among other topics, to talk of young'Squire Thornhill, who the host assured me was hated as much as hisuncle Sir William, who sometimes came down to the country, was loved. He went on to observe, that he made it his whole study to betray thedaughters of such as received him to their houses, and after a fortnightor three weeks possession, turned them out unrewarded and abandoned tothe world. As we continued our discourse in this manner, his wife, whohad been out to get change, returned, and perceiving that her husbandwas enjoying a pleasure in which she was not a sharer, she asked him, in an angry tone, what he did there, to which he only replied in anironical way, by drinking her health. 'Mr Symmonds, ' cried she, 'youuse me very ill, and I'll bear it no longer. Here three parts of thebusiness is left for me to do, and the fourth left unfinished; while youdo nothing but soak with the guests all day long, whereas if a spoonfulof liquor were to cure me of a fever, I never touch a drop. ' I now foundwhat she would be at, and immediately poured her out a glass, which shereceived with a curtesy, and drinking towards my good health, 'Sir, 'resumed she, 'it is not so much for the value of the liquor I am angry, but one cannot help it, when the house is going out of the windows. Ifthe customers or guests are to be dunned, all the burthen lies upon myback, he'd as lief eat that glass as budge after them himself. ' Therenow above stairs, we have a young woman who has come to take upher lodgings here, and I don't believe she has got any money by herover-civility. I am certain she is very slow of payment, and I wish shewere put in mind of it. '--'What signifies minding her, ' cried the host, 'if she be slow, she is sure. '--'I don't know that, ' replied the wife;'but I know that I am sure she has been here a fortnight, and we havenot yet seen the cross of her money. '--'I suppose, my dear, ' cried he, 'we shall have it all in a, lump. '--'In a lump!' cried the other, 'Ihope we may get it any way; and that I am resolved we will this verynight, or out she tramps, bag and baggage. '--'Consider, my dear, ' criedthe husband, 'she is a gentlewoman, and deserves more respect. '--'As forthe matter of that, ' returned the hostess, 'gentle or simple, out sheshall pack with a sassarara. Gentry may be good things where theytake; but for my part I never saw much good of them at the sign of theHarrow. '--Thus saying, she ran up a narrow flight of stairs, thatwent from the kitchen to a room over-head, and I soon perceived by theloudness of her voice, and the bitterness of her reproaches, that nomoney was to be had from her lodger. I could hear her remonstrancesvery distinctly: 'Out I say, pack out this moment, tramp thou infamousstrumpet, or I'll give thee a mark thou won't be the better for thisthree months. What! you trumpery, to come and take up an honest house, without cross or coin to bless yourself with; come along I say. '--'Odear madam, ' cried the stranger, 'pity me, pity a poor abandonedcreature for one night, and death will soon do the rest. ' I instantlyknew the voice of my poor ruined child Olivia. I flew to her rescue, while the woman was dragging her along by the hair, and I caught thedear forlorn wretch in my arms. --'Welcome, any way welcome, my dearestlost one, my treasure, to your poor old father's bosom. Tho' the viciousforsake thee, there is yet one in the world that will never forsakethee; tho' thou hadst ten thousand crimes to answer for, he will forgetthem all. '--'O my own dear'--for minutes she could no more--'my owndearest good papa! Could angels be kinder! How do I deserve so much! Thevillain, I hate him and myself, to be a reproach to such goodness. Youcan't forgive me. I know you cannot. '--'Yes, my child, from my heart Ido forgive thee! Only repent, and we both shall yet be happy. We shallsee many pleasant days yet, my Olivia!'--'Ah! never, sir, never. Therest of my wretched life must be infamy abroad and shame at home. But, alas! papa, you look much paler than you used to do. Could such a thingas I am give you so much uneasiness? Sure you have too much wisdomto take the miseries of my guilt upon yourself. '--'Our wisdom, youngwoman, ' replied I. --'Ah, why so cold a name papa?' cried she. 'This isthe first time you ever called me by so cold a name. '--'I ask pardon, mydarling, ' returned I; 'but I was going to observe, that wisdom makes buta slow defence against trouble, though at last a sure one. 

The landlady now returned to know if we did not chuse a more genteelapartment, to which assenting, we were shewn a room, where we couldconverse more freely. After we had talked ourselves into some degree oftranquillity, I could not avoid desiring some account of the gradationsthat led to her present wretched situation. 'That villain, sir, ' saidshe, 'from the first day of our meeting made me honourable, thoughprivate, proposals. '

'Villain indeed, ' cried I; 'and yet it in some measure surprizes me, howa person of Mr Burchell's good sense and seeming honour could be guiltyof such deliberate baseness, and thus step into a family to undo it. '

'My dear papa, ' returned my daughter, 'you labour under a strangemistake, Mr Burchell never attempted to deceive me. Instead of that hetook every opportunity of privately admonishing me against the artificesof Mr Thornhill, who I now find was even worse than he representedhim. '--'Mr Thornhill, ' interrupted I, 'can it be?'--'Yes, Sir, ' returnedshe, 'it was Mr Thornhill who seduced me, who employed the two ladies, as he called them, but who, in fact, were abandoned women of the town, without breeding or pity, to decoy us up to London. Their artifices, you may remember would have certainly succeeded, but for Mr Burchell'sletter, who directed those reproaches at them, which we all appliedto ourselves. How he came to have so much influence as to defeat theirintentions, still remains a secret to me; but I am convinced he was everour warmest sincerest friend. '

'You amaze me, my dear, ' cried I; 'but now I find my first suspicionsof Mr Thornhill's baseness were too well grounded: but he can triumph insecurity; for he is rich and we are poor. But tell me, my child, sure itwas no small temptation that could thus obliterate all the impressionsof such an education, and so virtuous a disposition as thine. '

'Indeed, Sir, ' replied she, 'he owes all his triumph to the desire I hadof making him, and not myself, happy. I knew that the ceremony of ourmarriage, which was privately performed by a popish priest, was no waybinding, and that I had nothing to trust to but his honour. ' 'What, 'interrupted I, 'and were you indeed married by a priest, and inorders?'--'Indeed, Sir, we were, ' replied she, 'though we were bothsworn to conceal his name. '--'Why then, my child, come to my arms again, and now you are a thousand times more welcome than before; for you arenow his wife to all intents and purposes; nor can all the laws of man, tho' written upon tables of adamant, lessen the force of that sacredconnexion. '

'Alas, Papa, ' replied she, 'you are but little acquainted with hisvillainies: he has been married already, by the same priest, to six oreight wives more, whom, like me, he has deceived and abandoned. '

'Has he so?' cried I, 'then we must hang the priest, and you shallinform against him to-morrow. '--'But Sir, ' returned she, 'will that beright, when I am sworn to secrecy?'--'My dear, ' I replied, 'if you havemade such a promise, I cannot, nor will I tempt you to break it. Eventho' it may benefit the public, you must not inform against him. In allhuman institutions a smaller evil is allowed to procure a greater good;as in politics, a province may be given away to secure a kingdom; inmedicine, a limb may be lopt off, to preserve the body. But in religionthe law is written, and inflexible, never to do evil. And this law, mychild, is right: for otherwise, if we commit a smaller evil, to procurea greater good, certain guilt would be thus incurred, in expectation ofcontingent advantage. And though the advantage should certainly follow, yet the interval between commission and advantage, which is allowed tobe guilty, may be that in which we are called away to answer for thethings we have done, and the volume of human actions is closed for ever. But I interrupt you, my dear, go on. '

'The very next morning, ' continued she, 'I found what littleexpectations I was to have from his sincerity. That very morning heintroduced me to two unhappy women more, whom, like me, he had deceived, but who lived in contented prostitution. I loved him too tenderly tobear such rivals in his affections, and strove to forget my infamy in atumult of pleasures. With this view, I danced, dressed, and talked; butstill was unhappy. The gentlemen who visited there told me every momentof the power of my charms, and this only contributed to encrease mymelancholy, as I had thrown all their power quite away. Thus each dayI grew more pensive, and he more insolent, till at last the monster hadthe assurance to offer me to a young Baronet of his acquaintance. Need Idescribe, Sir, how his ingratitude stung me. My answer to this proposalwas almost madness. I desired to part. As I was going he offered me apurse; but I flung it at him with indignation, and burst from him ina rage, that for a while kept me insensible of the miseries of mysituation. But I soon looked round me, and saw myself a vile, abject, guilty thing, without one friend in the world to apply to. Just in thatinterval, a stage-coach happening to pass by, I took a place, it beingmy only aim to be driven at a distance from a wretch I despised anddetested. I was set down here, where, since my arrival, my own anxiety, and this woman's unkindness, have been my only companions. The hours ofpleasure that I have passed with my mamma and sister, now grow painfulto me. Their sorrows are much; but mine is greater than theirs; for mineare mixed with guilt and infamy. '

'Have patience, my child, ' cried I, 'and I hope things will yet bebetter. Take some repose to-night, and to-morrow I'll carry you hometo your mother and the rest of the family, from whom you will receivea kind reception. Poor woman, this has gone to her heart: but she lovesyou still, Olivia, and will forget it. 

CHAPTER 22

Offences are easily pardoned where there is love at bottom

The next morning I took my daughter behind me, and set out on my returnhome. As we travelled along, I strove, by every persuasion, to calm hersorrows and fears, and to arm her with resolution to bear the presenceof her offended mother. I took every opportunity, from the prospect of afine country, through which we passed, to observe how much kinder heavenwas to us, than we to each other, and that the misfortunes of nature'smaking were very few. I assured her, that she should never perceive anychange in my affections, and that during my life, which yet might belong, she might depend upon a guardian and an instructor. I armed heragainst the censures of the world, shewed her that books were sweetunreproaching companions to the miserable, and that if they could notbring us to enjoy life, they would at least teach us to endure it. 

The hired horse that we rode was to be put up that night at an inn bythe way, within about five miles from my house, and as I was willing toprepare my family for my daughter's reception, I determined to leave herthat night at the inn, and to return for her, accompanied by my daughterSophia, early the next morning. It was night before we reached ourappointed stage: however, after seeing her provided with a decentapartment, and having ordered the hostess to prepare properrefreshments, I kissed her, and proceeded towards home. And now my heartcaught new sensations of pleasure the nearer I approached that peacefulmansion. As a bird that had been frighted from its nest, my affectionsout-went my haste, and hovered round my little fire-side, with all therapture of expectation. I called up the many fond things I had to say, and anticipated the welcome I was to receive. I already felt my wife'stender embrace, and smiled at the joy of my little ones. As I walkedbut slowly, the night wained apace. The labourers of the day were allretired to rest; the lights were out in every cottage; no sounds wereheard but of the shrilling cock, and the deep-mouthed watch-dog, athollow distance. I approached my little abode of pleasure, and beforeI was within a furlong of the place, our honest mastiff came running towelcome me. 

It was now near mid-night that I came to knock at my door: all was stilland silent: my heart dilated with unutterable happiness, when, to myamazement, I saw the house bursting out in a blaze of fire, and everyapperture red with conflagration! I gave a loud convulsive outcry, andfell upon the pavement insensible. This alarmed my son, who had tillthis been asleep, and he perceiving the flames, instantly waked my wifeand daughter, and all running out, naked, and wild with apprehension, recalled me to life with their anguish. But it was only to objects ofnew terror; for the flames had, by this time, caught the roof of ourdwelling, part after part continuing to fall in, while the family stood, with silent agony, looking on, as if they enjoyed the blaze. I gazedupon them and upon it by turns, and then looked round me for my twolittle ones; but they were not to be seen. O misery! 'Where, ' cried I, 'where are my little ones?'--'They are burnt to death in the flames, 'says my wife calmly, 'and I will die with them. '--That moment I heardthe cry of the babes within, who were just awaked by the fire, andnothing could have stopped me. 'Where, where, are my children?' criedI, rushing through the flames, and bursting the door of the chamber inwhich they were confined, 'Where are my little ones?'--'Here, dear papa, here we are, ' cried they together, while the flames were just catchingthe bed where they lay. I caught them both in my arms, and snatched themthrough the fire as fast as possible, while just as I was got out, the roof sunk in. 'Now, ' cried I, holding up my children, 'now let theflames burn on, and all my possessions perish. Here they are, I havesaved my treasure. Here, my dearest, here are our treasures, and weshall yet be happy. ' We kissed our little darlings a thousand times, they clasped us round the neck, and seemed to share our transports, while their mother laughed and wept by turns. 

I now stood a calm spectator of the flames, and after some time, beganto perceive that my arm to the shoulder was scorched in a terriblemanner. It was therefore out of my power to give my son any assistance, either in attempting to save our goods, or preventing the flamesspreading to our corn. By this time, the neighbours were alarmed, andcame running to our assistance; but all they could do was to stand, likeus, spectators of the calamity. My goods, among which were the notes Ihad reserved for my daughters' fortunes, were entirely consumed, excepta box, with some papers that stood in the kitchen, and two or threethings more of little consequence, which my son brought away in thebeginning. The neighbours contributed, however, what they could tolighten our distress. They brought us cloaths, and furnished one of ourout-houses with kitchen utensils; so that by day-light we had another, tho' a wretched, dwelling to retire to. My honest next neighbour, andhis children, were not the least assiduous in providing us withevery thing necessary, and offering what ever consolation untutoredbenevolence could suggest. 

When the fears of my family had subsided, curiosity to know the causeof my long stay began to take place; having therefore informed them ofevery particular, I proceeded to prepare them for the reception of ourlost one, and tho' we had nothing but wretchedness now to impart, I waswilling to procure her a welcome to what we had. This task would havebeen more difficult but for our recent calamity, which had humbled mywife's pride, and blunted it by more poignant afflictions. Being unableto go for my poor child myself, as my arm grew very painful, I sent myson and daughter, who soon returned, supporting the wretched delinquent, who had not the courage to look up at her mother, whom no instructionsof mine could persuade to a perfect reconciliation; for women have amuch stronger sense of female error than men. 'Ah, madam, ' cried hermother, 'this is but a poor place you are come to after so much finery. My daughter Sophy and I can afford but little entertainment to personswho have kept company only with people of distinction. Yes, Miss Livy, your poor father and I have suffered very much of late; but I hopeheaven will forgive you. '--During this reception, the unhappy victimstood pale and trembling, unable to weep or to reply; but I could notcontinue a silent spectator of her distress, wherefore assuming a degreeof severity in my voice and manner, which was ever followed with instantsubmission, 'I entreat, woman, that my words may be now marked once forall: I have here brought you back a poor deluded wanderer; her return toduty demands the revival of our tenderness. The real hardships of lifeare now coming fast upon us, let us not therefore encrease them bydissention among each other. If we live harmoniously together, we mayyet be contented, as there are enough of us to shut out the censuringworld, and keep each other in countenance. The kindness of heaven ispromised to the penitent, and let ours be directed by the example. Heaven, we are assured, is much more pleased to view a repentant sinner, than ninety nine persons who have supported a course of undeviatingrectitude. And this is right; for that single effort by which we stopshort in the downhill path to perdition, is itself a greater exertion ofvirtue, than an hundred acts of justice. '

CHAPTER 23

None but the guilty can be long and completely miserable

Some assiduity was now required to make our present abode as convenientas possible, and we were soon again qualified to enjoy our formerserenity. Being disabled myself from assisting my son in our usualoccupations, I read to my family from the few books that were saved, andparticularly from such, as, by amusing the imagination, contributed toease the heart. Our good neighbours too came every day with the kindestcondolence, and fixed a time in which they were all to assist atrepairing my former dwelling. Honest farmer Williams was not last amongthese visitors; but heartily offered his friendship. He would even haverenewed his addresses to my daughter; but she rejected them in such amanner as totally represt his future solicitations. Her grief seemedformed for continuing, and she was the only person of our littlesociety that a week did not restore to cheerfulness. She now lost thatunblushing innocence which once taught her to respect herself, and toseek pleasure by pleasing. Anxiety now had taken strong possession ofher mind, her beauty began to be impaired with her constitution, andneglect still more contributed to diminish it. Every tender epithetbestowed on her sister brought a pang to her heart and a tear to hereye; and as one vice, tho' cured, ever plants others where it has been, so her former guilt, tho' driven out by repentance, left jealousy andenvy behind. I strove a thousand ways to lessen her care, and evenforgot my own pain in a concern for her's, collecting such amusingpassages of history, as a strong memory and some reading could suggest. 'Our happiness, my dear, ' I would say, 'is in the power of one who canbring it about a thousand unforeseen ways, that mock our foresight. Ifexample be necessary to prove this, I'll give you a story, my child, told us by a grave, tho' sometimes a romancing, historian. 

'Matilda was married very young to a Neapolitan nobleman of the firstquality, and found herself a widow and a mother at the age of fifteen. As she stood one day caressing her infant son in the open window of anapartment, which hung over the river Volturna, the child, with a suddenspring, leaped from her arms into the flood below, and disappeared in amoment. The mother, struck with instant surprize, and making all effortto save him, plunged in after; but, far from being able to assist theinfant, she herself with great difficulty escaped to the opposite shore, just when some French soldiers were plundering the country on that side, who immediately made her their prisoner. 

'As the war was then carried on between the French and Italians withthe utmost inhumanity, they were going at once to perpetrate thosetwo extremes, suggested by appetite and cruelty. This base resolution, however, was opposed by a young officer, who, tho' their retreatrequired the utmost expedition, placed her behind him, and brought herin safety to his native city. Her beauty at first caught his eye, hermerit soon after his heart. They were married; he rose to the highestposts; they lived long together, and were happy. But the felicity ofa soldier can never be called permanent: after an interval of severalyears, the troops which he commanded having met with a repulse, he wasobliged to take shelter in the city where he had lived with his wife. Here they suffered a siege, and the city at length was taken. Fewhistories can produce more various instances of cruelty, than thosewhich the French and Italians at that time exercised upon each other. Itwas resolved by the victors, upon this occasion, to put all the Frenchprisoners to death; but particularly the husband of the unfortunateMatilda, as he was principally instrumental in protracting the siege. Their determinations were, in general, executed almost as soon asresolved upon. The captive soldier was led forth, and the executioner, with his sword, stood ready, while the spectators in gloomy silenceawaited the fatal blow, which was only suspended till the general, whopresided as judge, should give the signal. It was in this interval ofanguish and expectation, that Matilda came to take her last farewellof her husband and deliverer, deploring her wretched situation, and thecruelty of fate, that had saved her from perishing by a premature deathin the river Volturna, to be the spectator of still greater calamities. The general, who was a young man, was struck with surprize at herbeauty, and pity at her distress; but with still stronger emotions whenhe heard her mention her former dangers. He was her son, the infant forwhom she had encounter'd so much danger. He acknowledged her at once ashis mother, and fell at her feet. The rest may be easily supposed: thecaptive was set free, and all the happiness that love, friendship, andduty could confer on each, were united. '

In this manner I would attempt to amuse my daughter; but she listenedwith divided attention; for her own misfortunes engrossed all the pityshe once had for those of another, and nothing gave her ease. In companyshe dreaded contempt; and in solitude she only found anxiety. Such wasthe colour of her wretchedness, when we received certain information, that Mr Thornhill was going to be married to Miss Wilmot, for whom Ialways suspected he had a real passion, tho' he took every opportunitybefore me to express his contempt both of her person and fortune. Thisnews only served to encrease poor Olivia's affliction; such a flagrantbreach of fidelity, was more than her courage could support. I wasresolved, however, to get more certain information, and to defeat, ifpossible, the completion of his designs, by sending my son to old MrWilmot's, with instructions to know the truth of the report, and todeliver Miss Wilmot a letter, intimating Mr Thornhill's conduct in myfamily. My son went, in pursuance of my directions, and in three daysreturned, assuring us of the truth of the account; but that he had foundit impossible to deliver the letter, which he was therefore obliged toleave, as Mr Thornhill and Miss Wilmot were visiting round the country. They were to be married, he said, in a few days, having appearedtogether at church the Sunday before he was there, in great splendour, the bride attended by six young ladies, and he by as many gentlemen. Their approaching nuptials filled the whole country with rejoicing, andthey usually rode out together in the grandest equipage that had beenseen in the country for many years. All the friends of both families, he said, were there, particularly the 'Squire's uncle, Sir WilliamThornhill, who bore so good a character. He added, that nothing butmirth and feasting were going forward; that all the country praised theyoung bride's beauty, and the bridegroom's fine person, and that theywere immensely fond of each other; concluding, that he could not helpthinking Mr Thornhill one of the most happy men in the world. 

'Why let him if he can, ' returned I: 'but, my son, observe this bed ofstraw, and unsheltering roof; those mouldering walls, and humid floor;my wretched body thus disabled by fire, and my children weeping roundme for bread; you have come home, my child, to all this, yet here, even here, you see a man that would not for a thousand worlds exchangesituations. O, my children, if you could but learn to commune with yourown hearts, and know what noble company you can make them, you wouldlittle regard the elegance and splendours of the worthless. Almostall men have been taught to call life a passage, and themselves thetravellers. The similitude still may be improved when we observe thatthe good are joyful and serene, like travellers that are going towardshome; the wicked but by intervals happy, like travellers that are goinginto exile. '

My compassion for my poor daughter, overpowered by this new disaster, interrupted what I had farther to observe. I bade her mother supporther, and after a short time she recovered. She appeared from that timemore calm, and I imagined had gained a new degree of resolution;but appearances deceived me; for her tranquility was the langour ofover-wrought resentment. A supply of provisions, charitably sent us bymy kind parishioners, seemed to diffuse new cheerfulness amongst therest of the family, nor was I displeased at seeing them once moresprightly and at ease. It would have been unjust to damp theirsatisfactions, merely to condole with resolute melancholy, or to burthenthem with a sadness they did not feel. Thus, once more, the tale wentround and the song was demanded, and cheerfulness condescended to hoverround our little habitation. 

CHAPTER 24

Fresh calamities

The next morning the sun rose with peculiar warmth for the season; sothat we agreed to breakfast together on the honeysuckle bank: where, while we sate, my youngest daughter, at my request, joined her voice tothe concert on the trees about us. It was in this place my poor Oliviafirst met her seducer, and every object served to recall her sadness. But that melancholy, which is excited by objects of pleasure, orinspired by sounds of harmony, sooths the heart instead of corroding it. Her mother too, upon this occasion, felt a pleasing distress, and wept, and loved her daughter as before. 'Do, my pretty Olivia, ' cried she, 'let us have that little melancholy air your pappa was so fond of, yoursister Sophy has already obliged us. Do child, it will please your oldfather. ' She complied in a manner so exquisitely pathetic as moved me. 

When lovely woman stoops to folly, And finds too late that men betray, What charm can sooth her melancholy, What art can wash her guilt away?

The only art her guilt to cover, To hide her shame from every eye, Togive repentance to her lover, And wring his bosom--is to die. 

As she was concluding the last stanza, to which an interruption inher voice from sorrow gave peculiar softness, the appearance of MrThornhill's equipage at a distance alarmed us all, but particularlyencreased the uneasiness of my eldest daughter, who, desirous ofshunning her betrayer, returned to the house with her sister. In a fewminutes he was alighted from his chariot, and making up to the placewhere I was still sitting, enquired after my health with his usual airof familiarity. 'Sir, ' replied I, 'your present assurance only servesto aggravate the baseness of your character; and there was a time when Iwould have chastised your insolence, for presuming thus to appear beforeme. But now you are safe; for age has cooled my passions, and my callingrestrains them. '

'I vow, my dear sir, ' returned he, 'I am amazed at all this; nor can Iunderstand what it means! I hope you don't think your daughter's lateexcursion with me had any thing criminal in it. '

'Go, ' cried I, 'thou art a wretch, a poor pitiful wretch, and everyway a lyar; but your meanness secures you from my anger! Yet sir, I amdescended from a family that would not have borne this! And so, thouvile thing, to gratify a momentary passion, thou hast made one poorcreature wretched for life, and polluted a family that had nothing buthonour for their portion. '

'If she or you, ' returned he, 'are resolved to be miserable, I cannothelp it. But you may still be happy; and whatever opinion you may haveformed of me, you shall ever find me ready to contribute to it. We canmarry her to another in a short time, and what is more, she may keep herlover beside; for I protest I shall ever continue to have a true regardfor her. '

I found all my passions alarmed at this new degrading proposal; forthough the mind may often be calm under great injuries, little villainycan at any time get within the soul, and sting it into rage. --'Avoidmy sight, thou reptile, ' cried I, 'nor continue to insult me with thypresence. Were my brave son at home, he would not suffer this; but I amold, and disabled, and every way undone. '

'I find, ' cried he, 'you are bent upon obliging me to talk in an harshermanner than I intended. But as I have shewn you what may be hoped frommy friendship, it may not be improper to represent what may be theconsequences of my resentment. My attorney, to whom your late bondhas been transferred, threatens hard, nor do I know how to prevent thecourse of justice, except by paying the money myself, which, as I havebeen at some expences lately, previous to my intended marriage, is notso easy to be done. And then my steward talks of driving for the rent:it is certain he knows his duty; for I never trouble myself with affairsof that nature. Yet still I could wish to serve you, and even to haveyou and your daughter present at my marriage, which is shortly to besolemnized with Miss Wilmot; it is even the request of my charmingArabella herself, whom I hope you will not refuse. '

'Mr Thornhill, ' replied I, 'hear me once for all: as to your marriagewith any but my daughter, that I never will consent to; and though yourfriendship could raise me to a throne, or your resentment sink me to thegrave, yet would I despise both. Thou hast once wofully, irreparably, deceived me. I reposed my heart upon thine honour, and have found itsbaseness. Never more, therefore, expect friendship from me. Go, andpossess what fortune has given thee, beauty, riches, health, andpleasure. Go, and leave me to want, infamy, disease, and sorrow. Yethumbled as I am, shall my heart still vindicate its dignity, and thoughthou hast my forgiveness, thou shalt ever have my contempt. '

'If so, ' returned he, 'depend upon it you shall feel the effects ofthis insolence, and we shall shortly see which is the fittest object ofscorn, you or me. '--Upon which he departed abruptly. 

My wife and son, who were present at this interview, seemed terrifiedwith the apprehension. My daughters also, finding that he was gone, cameout to be informed of the result of our conference, which, when known, alarmed them not less than the rest. But as to myself, I disregarded theutmost stretch of his malevolence: he had already struck the blow, and now I stood prepared to repel every new effort. Like one of thoseinstruments used in the art of war, which, however thrown, stillpresents a point to receive the enemy. 

We soon, however, found that he had not threatened in vain; for the verynext morning his steward came to demand my annual rent, which, by thetrain of accidents already related, I was unable to pay. The consequenceof my incapacity was his driving my cattle that evening, and their beingappraised and sold the next day for less than half their value. My wifeand children now therefore entreated me to comply upon any terms, ratherthan incur certain destruction. They even begged of me to admit hisvisits once more, and used all their little eloquence to paint thecalamities I was going to endure. The terrors of a prison, in sorigorous a season as the present, with the danger, that threatened myhealth from the late accident that happened by the fire. But I continuedinflexible. 

'Why, my treasures, ' cried I, 'why will you thus attempt to persuade meto the thing that is not right! My duty has taught me to forgive him;but my conscience will not permit me to approve. Would you have meapplaud to the world what my heart must internally condemn? Would youhave me tamely sit down and flatter our infamous betrayer; and toavoid a prison continually suffer the more galling bonds of mentalconfinement! No, never. If we are to be taken from this abode, only letus hold to the right, and wherever we are thrown, we can still retireto a charming apartment, when we can look round our own hearts withintrepidity and with pleasure!'

In this manner we spent that evening. Early the next morning, as thesnow had fallen in great abundance in the night, my son was employed inclearing it away, and opening a passage before the door. He had not beenthus engaged long, when he came running in, with looks all pale, totell us that two strangers, whom he knew to be officers of justice, weremaking towards the house. 

Just as he spoke they came in, and approaching the bed where I lay, after previously informing me of their employment and business, made metheir prisoner, bidding me prepare to go with them to the county gaol, which was eleven miles off. 

'My friends, ' said I, 'this is severe weather on which you have come totake me to a prison; and it is particularly unfortunate at this time, as one of my arms has lately been burnt in a terrible manner, and it hasthrown me into a slight fever, and I want cloaths to cover me, and I amnow too weak and old to walk far in such deep snow: but if it must beso--'

I then turned to my wife and children, and directed them to get togetherwhat few things were left us, and to prepare immediately for leavingthis place. I entreated them to be expeditious, and desired my son toassist his elder sister, who, from a consciousness that she was thecause of all our calamities, was fallen, and had lost anguish ininsensibility. I encouraged my wife, who, pale and trembling, claspedour affrighted little ones in her arms, that clung to her bosom insilence, dreading to look round at the strangers. In the mean timemy youngest daughter prepared for our departure, and as she receivedseveral hints to use dispatch, in about an hour we were ready to depart. 

CHAPTER 25

No situation, however wretched it seems, but has some sort of comfortattending it

We set forward from this peaceful neighbourhood, and walked on slowly. My eldest daughter being enfeebled by a slow fever, which had begun forsome days to undermine her constitution, one of the officers, who hadan horse, kindly took her behind him; for even these men cannot entirelydivest themselves of humanity. My son led one of the little ones by thehand, and my wife the other, while I leaned upon my youngest girl, whosetears fell not for her own but my distresses. 

We were now got from my late dwelling about two miles, when we saw acrowd running and shouting behind us, consisting of about fifty of mypoorest parishioners. These, with dreadful imprecations, soon seizedupon the two officers of justice, and swearing they would never seetheir minister go to gaol while they had a drop of blood to shed in hisdefence, were going to use them with great severity. The consequencemight have been fatal, had I not immediately interposed, and with somedifficulty rescued the officers from the hands of the enraged multitude. My children, who looked upon my delivery now as certain, appearedtransported with joy, and were incapable of containing their raptures. But they were soon undeceived, upon hearing me address the poor deludedpeople, who came, as they imagined, to do me service. 

'What! my friends, ' cried I, 'and is this the way you love me! Is thisthe manner you obey the instructions I have given you from the pulpit!Thus to fly in the face of justice, and bring down ruin on yourselvesand me! Which is your ringleader? Shew me the man that has thus seducedyou. As sure as he lives he shall feel my resentment. Alas! my deardeluded flock, return back to the duty you owe to God, to your country, and to me. I shall yet perhaps one day see you in greater felicity here, and contribute to make your lives more happy. But let it at least be mycomfort when I pen my fold for immortality, that not one here shall bewanting. '

They now seemed all repentance, and melting into tears, came one afterthe other to bid me farewell. I shook each tenderly by the hand, andleaving them my blessing, proceeded forward without meeting any fartherinterruption. Some hours before night we reached the town, or rathervillage; for it consisted but of a few mean houses, having lost all itsformer opulence, and retaining no marks of its ancient superiority butthe gaol. 

Upon entering, we put up at an inn, where we had such refreshments ascould most readily be procured, and I supped with my family with myusual cheerfulness. After seeing them properly accommodated for thatnight, I next attended the sheriff's officers to the prison, which hadformerly been built for the purposes of war, and consisted of one largeapartment, strongly grated, and paved with stone, common to both felonsand debtors at certain hours in the four and twenty. Besides this, everyprisoner had a separate cell, where he was locked in for the night. 

I expected upon my entrance to find nothing but lamentations, andvarious sounds of misery; but it was very different. The prisonersseemed all employed in one common design, that of forgetting thought inmerriment or clamour. I was apprized of the usual perquisite requiredupon these occasions, and immediately complied with the demand, thoughthe little money I had was very near being all exhausted. This wasimmediately sent away for liquor, and the whole prison soon was filledwith riot, laughter, and prophaneness. 

'How, ' cried I to myself, 'shall men so very wicked be chearful, andshall I be melancholy! I feel only the same confinement with them, and Ithink I have more reason to be happy. '

With such reflections I laboured to become chearful; but chearfulnesswas never yet produced by effort, which is itself painful. As I wassitting therefore in a corner of the gaol, in a pensive posture, oneof my fellow prisoners came up, and sitting by me, entered intoconversation. It was my constant rule in life never to avoid theconversation of any man who seemed to desire it: for if good, I mightprofit by his instruction; if bad, he might be assisted by mine. I foundthis to be a knowing man, of strong unlettered sense; but a thoroughknowledge of the world, as it is called, or, more properly speaking, of human nature on the wrong side. He asked me if I had taken care toprovide myself with a bed, which was a circumstance I had never onceattended to. 

'That's unfortunate, ' cried he, 'as you are allowed here nothing butstraw, and your apartment is very large and cold. However you seem to besomething of a gentleman, and as I have been one myself in my time, partof my bed-cloaths are heartily at your service. '

I thanked him, professing my surprize at finding such humanity in a gaolin misfortunes; adding, to let him see that I was a scholar, 'That thesage ancient seemed to understand the value of company in affliction, when he said, Ton kosman aire, ei dos ton etairon; and in fact, 'continued I, 'what is the World if it affords only solitude?'

'You talk of the world, Sir, ' returned my fellow prisoner; 'the worldis in its dotage, and yet the cosmogony or creation of the world haspuzzled the philosophers of every age. What a medly of opinions havethey not broached upon the creation of the world. Sanconiathon, Manetho, Berosus, and Ocellus Lucanus have all attempted it in vain. The latterhas these words. Anarchon ara kai atelutaion to pan, which implies'--'Iask pardon, Sir, ' cried I, 'for interrupting so much learning; but Ithink I have heard all this before. Have I not had the pleasure of onceseeing you at Welbridge fair, and is not your name Ephraim Jenkinson?'At this demand he only sighed. 'I suppose you must recollect, ' resumedI, 'one Doctor Primrose, from whom you bought a horse. '

He now at once recollected me; for the gloominess of the place andthe approaching night had prevented his distinguishing my featuresbefore. --'Yes, Sir, ' returned Mr Jenkinson, 'I remember you perfectlywell; I bought an horse, but forgot to pay for him. Your neighbourFlamborough is the only prosecutor I am any way afraid of at the nextassizes: for he intends to swear positively against me as a coiner. Iam heartily sorry, Sir, I ever deceived you, or indeed any man; for yousee, ' continued he, shewing his shackles, 'what my tricks have broughtme to. '

'Well, sir, ' replied I, 'your kindness in offering me assistance, whenyou could expect no return, shall be repaid with my endeavours to softenor totally suppress Mr Flamborough's evidence, and I will send my son tohim for that purpose the first opportunity; nor do I in the least doubtbut he will comply with my request, and as to my evidence, you need beunder no uneasiness about that. '

'Well, sit, ' cried he, 'all the return I can make shall be yours. Youshall have more than half my bed-cloaths to night, and I'll take care tostand your friend in the prison, where I think I have some influence. '

I thanked him, and could not avoid being surprised at the presentyouthful change in his aspect; for at the time I had seen him before heappeared at least sixty. --'Sir, ' answered he, you are little acquaintedwith the world; I had at that time false hair, and have learnt the artof counterfeiting every age from seventeen to seventy. Ah sir, had I butbestowed half the pains in learning a trade, that I have in learning tobe a scoundrel, I might have been a rich man at this day. But rogue asI am, still I may be your friend, and that perhaps when you least expectit. '

We were now prevented from further conversation, by the arrival of thegaoler's servants, who came to call over the prisoners names, and lockup for the night. A fellow also, with a bundle of straw for my bedattended, who led me along a dark narrow passage into a room paved likethe common prison, and in one corner of this I spread my bed, and thecloaths given me by my fellow prisoner; which done, my conductor, whowas civil enough, bade me a good-night. After my usual meditations, andhaving praised my heavenly corrector, I laid myself down and slept withthe utmost tranquility till morning. 

CHAPTER 26

A reformation in the gaol. To make laws complete, they should reward aswell as punish

The next morning early I was awakened by my family, whom I found intears at my bed-side. The gloomy strength of every thing about us, itseems, had daunted them. I gently rebuked their sorrow, assuring themI had never slept with greater tranquility, and next enquired aftermy eldest daughter, who was not among them. They informed me thatyesterday's uneasiness and fatigue had encreased her fever, and it wasjudged proper to leave her behind. My next care was to send my son toprocure a room or two to lodge the family in, as near the prisonas conveniently could be found. He obeyed; but could only find oneapartment, which was hired at a small expence, for his mother andsisters, the gaoler with humanity consenting to let him and his twolittle brothers lie in the prison with me. A bed was therefore preparedfor them in a corner of the room, which I thought answered veryconveniently. I was willing however previously to know whether mylittle children chose to lie in a place which seemed to fright them uponentrance. 

'Well, ' cried I, 'my good boys, how do you like your bed? I hope you arenot afraid to lie in this room, dark as it appears. '

'No, papa, ' says Dick, 'I am not afraid to lie any where where you are. '

'And I, ' says Bill, who was yet but four years old, 'love every placebest that my papa is in. '

After this, I allotted to each of the family what they were to do. My daughter was particularly directed to watch her declining sister'shealth; my wife was to attend me; my little boys were to read to me:'And as for you, my son, ' continued I, 'it is by the labour of yourhands we must all hope to be supported. Your wages, as a day-labourer, will be full sufficient, with proper frugality, to maintain us all, andcomfortably too. Thou art now sixteen years old, and hast strength, andit was given thee, my son, for very useful purposes; for it must savefrom famine your helpless parents and family. Prepare then this eveningto look out for work against to-morrow, and bring home every night whatmoney you earn, for our support. '

Having thus instructed him, and settled the rest, I walked down to thecommon prison, where I could enjoy more air and room. But I was not longthere when the execrations, lewdness, and brutality that invaded me onevery side, drove me back to my apartment again. Here I sate for sometime, pondering upon the strange infatuation of wretches, who findingall mankind in open arms against them, were labouring to make themselvesa future and a tremendous enemy. 

Their insensibility excited my highest compassion, and blotted my ownuneasiness from my mind. It even appeared a duty incumbent upon me toattempt to reclaim them. I resolved therefore once more to return, andin spite of their contempt to give them my advice, and conquer them byperseverance. Going therefore among them again, I informed Mr Jenkinsonof my design, at which he laughed heartily, but communicated it to therest. The proposal was received with the greatest good-humour, as itpromised to afford a new fund of entertainment to persons who had nowno other resource for mirth, but what could be derived from ridicule ordebauchery. 

I therefore read them a portion of the service with a loud unaffectedvoice, and found my audience perfectly merry upon the occasion. Lewdwhispers, groans of contrition burlesqued, winking and coughing, alternately excited laughter. However, I continued with my naturalsolemnity to read on, sensible that what I did might amend some, butcould itself receive no contamination from any. 

After reading, I entered upon my exhortation, which was rathercalculated at first to amuse them than to reprove. I previouslyobserved, that no other motive but their welfare could induce meto this; that I was their fellow prisoner, and now got nothing bypreaching. I was sorry, I said, to hear them so very prophane; becausethey got nothing by it, but might lose a great deal: 'For be assured, my friends, ' cried I, 'for you are my friends, however the world maydisclaim your friendship, though you swore twelve thousand oaths ina day, it would not put one penny in your purse. Then what signifiescalling every moment upon the devil, and courting his friendship, sinceyou find how scurvily he uses you. He has given you nothing here, you find, but a mouthful of oaths and an empty belly; and by the bestaccounts I have of him, he will give you nothing that's good hereafter. 

'If used ill in our dealings with one man, we naturally go elsewhere. Were it not worth your while then, just to try how you may like theusage of another master, who gives you fair promises at least to cometo him. Surely, my Friends, of all stupidity in the world, his mustbe greatest, who, after robbing an house, runs to the thieftakers forprotection. And yet how are you more wise? You are all seeking comfortfrom one that has already betrayed you, applying to a more maliciousbeing than any thieftaker of them all; for they only decoy, and thenhang you; but he decoys and hangs, and what is worst of all, will notlet you loose after the hangman has done. '

When I had concluded, I received the compliments of my audience, someof whom came and shook me by the hand, swearing that I was a very honestfellow, and that they desired my further acquaintance. I thereforepromised to repeat my lecture next day, and actually conceived somehopes of making a reformation here; for it had ever been my opinion, that no man was past the hour of amendment, every heart lying open tothe shafts of reproof, if the archer could but take a proper aim. WhenI had thus satisfied my mind, I went back to my apartment, where my wifehad prepared a frugal meal, while Mr Jenkinson begged leave to add hisdinner to ours, and partake of the pleasure, as he was kind enough toexpress it of my conversation. He had not yet seen my family, for asthey came to my apartment by a door in the narrow passage, alreadydescribed, by this means they avoided the common prison. Jenkinson atthe first interview therefore seemed not a little struck with the beautyof my youngest daughter, which her pensive air contributed to heighten, and my little ones did not pass unnoticed. 

'Alas, Doctor, ' cried he, 'these children are too handsome and too goodfor such a place as this!'

Why, Mr Jenkinson', replied I, 'thank heaven my children are prettytolerable in morals, and if they be good, it matters little for therest. '

'I fancy, sir, ' returned my fellow prisoner, 'that it must give yougreat comfort to have this little family about you. '

'A comfort, Mr Jenkinson, ' replied I, 'yes it is indeed a comfort, and Iwould not be without them for all the world; for they can make adungeon seem a palace. There is but one way in this life of wounding myhappiness, and that is by injuring them. '

'I am afraid then, sir, ' cried he, 'that I am in some measure culpable;for I think I see here (looking at my son Moses) one that I haveinjured, and by whom I wish to be forgiven. '

My son immediately recollected his voice and features, though he hadbefore seen him in disguise, and taking him by the hand, with a smileforgave him. 'Yet, ' continued he, 'I can't help wondering at what youcould see in my face, to think me a proper mark for deception. '

'My dear sir, ' returned the other, 'it was not your face, but your whitestockings and the black ribband in your hair, that allured me. But nodisparagement to your parts, I have deceived wiser men than you in mytime; and yet, with all my tricks, the blockheads have been too many forme at last. '

'I suppose, ' cried my son, 'that the narrative of such a life as yoursmust be extremely instructive and amusing. '

'Not much of either, ' returned Mr Jenkinson. 'Those relations whichdescribe the tricks and vices only of mankind, by increasing oursuspicion in life, retard our success. The traveller that distrustsevery person he meets, and turns back upon the appearance of every manthat looks like a robber, seldom arrives in time at his journey's end. 

'Indeed I think from my own experience, that the knowing one is thesilliest fellow under the sun. I was thought cunning from my verychildhood; when but seven years old the ladies would say that I was aperfect little man; at fourteen I knew the world, cocked my hat, andloved the ladies; at twenty, though I was perfectly honest, yet everyone thought me so cunning, that not one would trust me. Thus I was atlast obliged to turn sharper in my own defence, and have livedever since, my head throbbing with schemes to deceive, and my heartpalpitating with fears of detection. 

'I used often to laugh at your honest simple neighbour Flamborough, and one way or another generally cheated him once a year. Yet still thehonest man went forward without suspicion, and grew rich, while I stillcontinued tricksy and cunning, and was poor, without the consolation ofbeing honest. 

'However, ' continued he, 'let me know your case, and what has broughtyou here; perhaps though I have not skill to avoid a gaol myself, I mayextricate my friends. '

In compliance with his curiosity, I informed him of the whole train ofaccidents and follies that had plunged me into my present troubles, andmy utter inability to get free. 

After hearing my story, and pausing some minutes, he slapt his forehead, as if he had hit upon something material, and took his leave, saying hewould try what could be done. 

CHAPTER 27

The same subject continued

The next morning I communicated to my wife and children the scheme I hadplanned of reforming the prisoners, which they received with universaldisapprobation, alledging the impossibility and impropriety of it;adding, that my endeavours would no way contribute to their amendment, but might probably disgrace my calling. 

'Excuse me, ' returned I, 'these people, however fallen, are still men, and that is a very good title to my affections. Good council rejectedreturns to enrich the giver's bosom; and though the instruction Icommunicate may not mend them, yet it will assuredly mend myself. Ifthese wretches, my children, were princes, there would be thousandsready to offer their ministry; but, in my opinion, the heart that isburied in a dungeon is as precious as that seated upon a throne. Yes, mytreasures, if I can mend them I will; perhaps they will not all despiseme. Perhaps I may catch up even one from the gulph, and, that willbe great gain; for is there upon earth a gem so precious as the humansoul?'

Thus saying, I left them, and descended to the common prison, where Ifound the prisoners very merry, expecting my arrival; and each preparedwith some gaol trick to play upon the doctor. Thus, as I was going tobegin, one turned my wig awry, as if by accident, and then asked mypardon. A second, who stood at some distance, had a knack of spittingthrough his teeth, which fell in showers upon my book. A third would cryamen in such an affected tone as gave the rest great delight. A fourthhad slily picked my pocket of my spectacles. But there was one whosetrick gave more universal pleasure than all the rest; for observing themanner in which I had disposed my books on the table before me, he verydextrously displaced one of them, and put an obscene jest-book of hisown in the place. However I took no notice of all that this mischievousgroupe of little beings could do; but went on, perfectly sensible thatwhat was ridiculous in my attempt, would excite mirth only the firstor second time, while what was serious would be permanent. My designsucceeded, and in less than six days some were penitent, and allattentive. 

It was now that I applauded my perseverance and address, at thus givingsensibility to wretches divested of every moral feeling, and now beganto think of doing them temporal services also, by rendering theirsituation somewhat more comfortable. Their time had hitherto beendivided between famine and excess, tumultous riot and bitter repining. Their only employment was quarrelling among each other, playing atcribbage, and cutting tobacco stoppers. From this last mode of idleindustry I took the hint of setting such as chose to work at cuttingpegs for tobacconists and shoemakers, the proper wood being bought by ageneral subscription, and when manufactured, sold by my appointment; sothat each earned something every day: a trifle indeed, but sufficient tomaintain him. 

I did not stop here, but instituted fines for the punishment ofimmorality, and rewards for peculiar industry. Thus in less than afortnight I had formed them into something social and humane, and hadthe pleasure of regarding myself as a legislator, who had brought menfrom their native ferocity into friendship and obedience. 

And it were highly to be wished, that legislative power would thusdirect the law rather to reformation than severity. That it wouldseem convinced that the work of eradicating crimes is not by makingpunishments familiar, but formidable. Then instead of our presentprisons, which find or make men guilty, which enclose wretches for thecommission of one crime, and return them, if returned alive, fittedfor the perpetration of thousands; we should see, as in other parts ofEurope, places of penitence and solitude, where the accused might beattended by such as could give them repentance if guilty, or new motivesto virtue if innocent. And this, but not the increasing punishments, isthe way to mend a state: nor can I avoid even questioning the validityof that right which social combinations have assumed of capitallypunishing offences of a slight nature. In cases of murder their right isobvious, as it is the duty of us all, from the law of self-defence, to cut off that man who has shewn a disregard for the life of another. Against such, all nature arises in arms; but it is not so against himwho steals my property. Natural law gives me no right to take away hislife, as by that the horse he steals is as much his property as mine. Ifthen I have any right, it must be from a compact made between us, thathe who deprives the other of his horse shall die. But this is a falsecompact; because no man has a right to barter his life, no more thanto take it away, as it is not his own. And beside, the compact isinadequate, and would be set aside even in a court of modern equity, asthere is a great penalty for a very trifling convenience, since it isfar better that two men should live, than that one man should ride. But a compact that is false between two men, is equally so between anhundred, or an hundred thousand; for as ten millions of circles cannever make a square, so the united voice of myriads cannot lend thesmallest foundation to falsehood. It is thus that reason speaks, anduntutored nature says the same thing. Savages that are directed bynatural law alone are very tender of the lives of each other; theyseldom shed blood but to retaliate former cruelty. 

Our Saxon ancestors, fierce as they were in war, had but few executionsin times of peace; and in all commencing governments that have the printof nature still strong upon them, scarce any crime is held capital. 

It is among the citizens of a refined community that penal laws, whichare in the hands of the rich, are laid upon the poor. Government, whileit grows older, seems to acquire the moroseness of age; and as if ourproperty were become dearer in proportion as it increased, as ifthe more enormous our wealth, the more extensive our fears, all ourpossessions are paled up with new edicts every day, and hung round withgibbets to scare every invader. 

I cannot tell whether it is from the number of our penal laws, orthe licentiousness of our people, that this country should shew moreconvicts in a year, than half the dominions of Europe united. Perhapsit is owing to both; for they mutually produce each other. When byindiscriminate penal laws a nation beholds the same punishment affixedto dissimilar degrees of guilt, from perceiving no distinction in thepenalty, the people are led to lose all sense of distinction in thecrime, and this distinction is the bulwark of all morality: thus themultitude of laws produce new vices, and new vices call for freshrestraints. 

It were to be wished then that power, instead a contriving new lawsto punish vice, instead of drawing hard the cards of society till aconvulsion come to burst them, instead of cutting away wretches asuseless, before we have tried their utility, instead of convertingcorrection into vengeance, it were to be wished that we tried therestrictive arts of government, and made law the protector, but not thetyrant of the people. We should then find that creatures, whose soulsare held as dross, only wanted the hand of a refiner; we should thenfind that wretches, now stuck up for long tortures, lest luxury shouldfeel a momentary pang, might, if properly treated, serve to sinew thestate in times of danger; that, as their faces are like ours, theirhearts are so too; that few minds are so base as that perseverancecannot amend; that a man may see his last crime without dying for it;and that very little blood will serve to cement our security. 

CHAPTER 28

Happiness and misery rather the result of prudence than of virtue inthis life. Temporal evils or felicities being regarded by heaven asthings merely in themselves trifling and unworthy its care in thedistribution

I had now been confined more than a fortnight, but had not since myarrival been visited by my dear Olivia, and I greatly longed to see her. Having communicated my wishes to my wife, the next morning the poor girlentered my apartment, leaning on her sister's arm. The change whichI saw in her countenance struck me. The numberless graces that onceresided there were now fled, and the hand of death seemed to have moldedevery feature to alarm me. Her temples were sunk, her forehead wastense, and a fatal paleness sate upon her cheek. 

'I am glad to see thee, my dear, ' cried I; 'but why this dejectionLivy? I hope, my love, you have too great a regard for me, to permitdisappointment thus to undermine a life which I prize as my own. Bechearful child, and we yet may see happier days. '

'You have ever, sir, ' replied she, 'been kind to me, and it adds to mypain that I shall never have an opportunity of sharing that happinessyou promise. Happiness, I fear, is no longer reserved for me here; and Ilong to be rid of a place where I have only found distress. Indeed, sir, I wish you would make a proper submission to Mr Thornhill; it may, insome measure, induce him to pity you, and it will give me relief indying. '

'Never, child, ' replied I, 'never will I be brought to acknowledge mydaughter a prostitute; for tho' the world may look upon your offencewith scorn, let it be mine to regard it as a mark of credulity, not ofguilt. My dear, I am no way miserable in this place, however dismal itmay seem, and be assured that while you continue to bless me by living, he shall never have my consent to make you more wretched by marryinganother. '

After the departure of my daughter, my fellow prisoner, who was byat this interview, sensibly enough expostulated upon my obstinacy, inrefusing a submission, which promised to give me freedom. He observed, that the rest of my family was not to be sacrificed to the peace of onechild alone, and she the only one who had offended me. 'Beside, ' addedhe, 'I don't know if it be just thus to obstruct the union of man andwife, which you do at present, by refusing to consent to a match whichyou cannot hinder, but may render unhappy. '

'Sir, ' replied I, 'you are unacquainted with the man that oppressesus. I am very sensible that no submission I can make could procure meliberty even for an hour. I am told that even in this very room a debtorof his, no later than last year, died for want. But though my submissionand approbation could transfer me from hence, to the most beautifulapartment he is possessed of; yet I would grant neither, as somethingwhispers me that it would be giving a sanction to adultery. While mydaughter lives, no other marriage of his shall ever be legal in myeye. Were she removed, indeed, I should be the basest of men, from anyresentment of my own, to attempt putting asunder those who wish for anunion. No, villain as he is, I should then wish him married, to preventthe consequences of his future debaucheries. But now should I not bethe most cruel of all fathers, to sign an Instrument which must send mychild to the grave, merely to avoid a prison myself; and thus to escapeone pang, break my child's heart with a thousand?'

He acquiesced in the justice of this answer, but could not avoidobserving, that he feared my daughter's life was already too much wastedto keep me long a prisoner. 'However, ' continued he, 'though you refuseto submit to the nephew, I hope you have no objections to laying yourcase before the uncle, who has the first character in the kingdom forevery thing that is just and good. I would advise you to send him aletter by the post, intimating all his nephew's ill usage, and my lifefor it that in three days you shall have an answer. ' I thank'd him forthe hint, and instantly set about complying; but I wanted paper, andunluckily all our money had been laid out that morning in provisions, however he supplied me. 

For the three ensuing days I was in a state of anxiety, to know whatreception my letter might meet with; but in the mean time was frequentlysolicited by my wife to submit to any conditions rather than remainhere, and every hour received repeated accounts of the decline of mydaughter's health. The third day and the fourth arrived, but I receivedno answer to my letter: the complaints of a stranger against a favouritenephew, were no way likely to succeed; so that these hopes soon vanishedlike all my former. My mind, however, still supported itself thoughconfinement and bad air began to make a visible alteration in my health, and my arm that had suffered in the fire, grew worse. My childrenhowever sate by me, and while I was stretched on my straw, read to me byturns, or listened and wept at my instructions. But my daughter'shealth declined faster than mine; every message from her contributedto encrease my apprehensions and pain. The fifth morning after I hadwritten the letter which was sent to sit William Thornhill, I wasalarmed with an account that she was speechless. Now it was, thatconfinement was truly painful to me; my soul was bursting from itsprison to be near the pillow of my child, to comfort, to strengthenher, to receive her last wishes, and teach her soul the way to heaven!Another account came. She was expiring, and yet I was debarred the smallcomfort of weeping by her. My fellow prisoner, some time after, camewith the last account. He bade me be patient. She was dead!--The nextmorning he returned, and found me with my two little ones, now my onlycompanions, who were using all their innocent efforts to comfort me. They entreated to read to me, and bade me not to cry, for I was nowtoo old to weep. 'And is not my sister an angel, now, pappa, ' cried theeldest, 'and why then are you sorry for her? I wish I were an angelout of this frightful place, if my pappa were with me. ' 'Yes, ' addedmy youngest darling, 'Heaven, where my sister is, is a finer place thanthis, and there are none but good people there, and the people here arevery bad. '

Mr Jenkinson interupted their harmless prattle, by observing that now mydaughter was no more, I should seriously think of the rest of my family, and attempt to save my own life, which was every day declining, for wantof necessaries and wholesome air. He added, that it was now incumbenton me to sacrifice any pride or resentment of my own, to the welfare ofthose who depended on me for support; and that I was now, both by reasonand justice, obliged to try to reconcile my landlord. 

'Heaven be praised, ' replied I, 'there is no pride left me now, I shoulddetest my own heart if I saw either pride or resentment lurking there. On the contrary, as my oppressor has been once my parishioner, I hopeone day to present him up an unpolluted soul at the eternal tribunal. No, sir, I have no resentment now, and though he has taken from me whatI held dearer than all his treasures, though he has wrung my heart, forI am sick almost to fainting, very sick, my fellow prisoner, yet thatshall never inspire me with vengeance. I am now willing to approve hismarriage, and if this submission can do him any pleasure, let him know, that if I have done him any injury, I am sorry for it. ' Mr Jenkinsontook pen and ink, and wrote down my submission nearly as I have exprestit, to which I signed my name. My son was employed to carry the letterto Mr Thornhill, who was then at his seat in the country. He went, and in about six hours returned with a verbal answer. He had somedifficulty, he said, to get a sight of his landlord, as the servantswere insolent and suspicious; but he accidentally saw him as he wasgoing out upon business, preparing for his marriage, which was to be inthree days. He continued to inform us, that he stept up in the humblestmanner, and delivered the letter, which, when Mr Thornhill had read, hesaid that all submission was now too late and unnecessary; that he hadheard of our application to his uncle, which met with the contempt itdeserved; and as for the rest, that all future applications should bedirected to his attorney, not to him. He observed, however, that as hehad a very good opinion of the discretion of the two young ladies, theymight have been the most agreeable intercessors. 

'Well, sir, ' said I to my fellow prisoner, 'you now discover the temperof the man that oppresses me. He can at once be facetious and cruel;but let him use me as he will, I shall soon be free, in spite of allhis bolts to restrain me. I am now drawing towards an abode that looksbrighter as I approach it: this expectation cheers my afflictions, andthough I leave an helpless family of orphans behind me, yet they willnot be utterly forsaken; some friend, perhaps, will be found to assistthem for the sake of their poor father, and some may charitably relievethem for the sake of their heavenly father. '

Just as I spoke, my wife, whom I had not seen that day before, appearedwith looks of terror, and making efforts, but unable to speak. 'Why, mylove, ' cried I, 'why will you thus encrease my afflictions by yourown, what though no submissions can turn our severe mister, tho' he hasdoomed me to die in this place of wretchedness, and though we have losta darling child, yet still you will find comfort in your other childrenwhen I shall be no more. ' 'We have indeed lost, ' returned she, 'adarling child. My Sophia, my dearest, is gone, snatched from us, carriedoff by ruffians!'

'How madam, ' cried my fellow prisoner, 'Miss Sophia carried off byvillains, sure it cannot be?'

She could only answer with a fixed look and a flood of tears. But one ofthe prisoners' wives, who was present, and came in with her, gave us amore distinct account: she informed us that as my wife, my daughter, andherself, were taking a walk together on the great road a little way outof the village, a post-chaise and pair drove up to them and instantlystopt. Upon which, a well drest man, but not Mr Thornhill, steppingout, clasped my daughter round the waist, and forcing her in, bid thepostillion drive on, so that they were out of sight in a moment. 

'Now, ' cried I, 'the sum of my misery is made up, nor is it in the powerof any thing on earth to give me another pang. What! not one left! notto leave me one! the monster! the child that was next my heart! she hadthe beauty of an angel, and almost the wisdom of an angel. But supportthat woman, nor let her fall. Not to leave me one!'--'Alas! my husband, 'said my wife, 'you seem to want comfort even more than I. Our distressesare great; but I could bear this and more, if I saw you but easy. Theymay take away my children and all the world, if they leave me but you. '

My Son, who was present, endeavoured to moderate our grief; he badeus take comfort, for he hoped that we might still have reason to bethankful. --'My child, ' cried I, 'look round the world, and see if therebe any happiness left me now. Is not every ray of comfort shut out;while all our bright prospects only lie beyond the grave!'--'My dearfather, ' returned he, 'I hope there is still something that will giveyou an interval of satisfaction; for I have a letter from my brotherGeorge'--'What of him, child, ' interrupted I, 'does he know our misery. I hope my boy is exempt from any part of what his wretched familysuffers?'--'Yes, sir, ' returned he, 'he is perfectly gay, chearful, andhappy. His letter brings nothing but good news; he is the favourite ofhis colonel, who promises to procure him the very next lieutenancy thatbecomes vacant!'

'And are you sure of all this, ' cried my wife, 'are you sure thatnothing ill has befallen my boy?'--'Nothing indeed, madam, ' returnedmy son, 'you shall see the letter, which will give you the highestpleasure; and if any thing can procure you comfort, I am sure thatwill. ' 'But are you sure, ' still repeated she, 'that the letter is fromhimself, and that he is really so happy?'--'Yes, Madam, ' replied he, 'itis certainly his, and he will one day be the credit and the support ofour family!'--'Then I thank providence, ' cried she, 'that my last letterto him has miscarried. ' 'Yes, my dear, ' continued she, turning to me, 'Iwill now confess that though the hand of heaven is sore upon us in otherinstances, it has been favourable here. By the last letter I wrotemy son, which was in the bitterness of anger, I desired him, upon hismother's blessing, and if he had the heart of a man, to see justice donehis father and sister, and avenge our cause. But thanks be to him thatdirects all things, it has miscarried, and I am at rest. ' 'Woman, ' criedI, 'thou hast done very ill, and at another time my reproaches mighthave been more severe. Oh! what a tremendous gulph hast thou escaped, that would have buried both thee and him in endless ruin. Providence, indeed, has here been kinder to us than we to ourselves. It has reservedthat son to be the father and protector of my children when I shall beaway. How unjustly did I complain of being stript of every comfort, whenstill I hear that he is happy and insensible of our afflictions; stillkept in reserve to support his widowed mother, and to protect hisbrothers and sisters. But what sisters has he left, he has no sistersnow, they are all gone, robbed from me, and I am undone. '--'Father, 'interrupted my son, 'I beg you will give me leave to read this letter, I know it will please you. ' Upon which, with my permission, he read asfollows:--

Honoured Sir, --I have called off my imagination a few moments from thepleasures that surround me, to fix it upon objects that are stillmore pleasing, the dear little fire-side at home. My fancy draws thatharmless groupe as listening to every line of this with great composure. I view those faces with delight which never felt the deforming hand ofambition or distress! But whatever your happiness may be at home, I amsure it will be some addition to it, to hear that I am perfectly pleasedwith my situation, and every way happy here. 

Our regiment is countermanded and is not to leave the kingdom; thecolonel, who professes himself my friend, takes me with him to allcompanies where he is acquainted, and after my first visit I generallyfind myself received with encreased respect upon repeating it. I dancedlast night with Lady G-, and could I forget you know whom, I might beperhaps successful. But it is my fate still to remember others, while Iam myself forgotten by most of my absent friends, and in this number, I fear, Sir, that I must consider you; for I have long expected thepleasure of a letter from home to no purpose. Olivia and Sophia too, promised to write, but seem to have forgotten me. Tell them they aretwo arrant little baggages, and that I am this moment in a most violentpassion with them: yet still, I know not how, tho' I want to bluster alittle, my heart is respondent only to softer emotions. Then tell them, sir, that after all, I love them affectionately, and be assured of myever remaining

Your dutiful son. 

'In all our miseries, ' cried I, 'what thanks have we not to return, thatone at least of our family is exempted from what we suffer. Heaven behis guard, and keep my boy thus happy to be the supporter of his widowedmother, and the father of these two babes, which is all the patrimony Ican now bequeath him. May he keep their innocence from the temptationsof want, and be their conductor in the paths of honour. ' I had scarcesaid these words, when a noise, like that of a tumult, seemed to proceedfrom the prison below; it died away soon after, and a clanking offetters was heard along the passage that led to my apartment. The keeperof the prison entered, holding a man all bloody, wounded and fetteredwith the heaviest irons. I looked with compassion on the wretch as heapproached me, but with horror when I found it was my own son. --'MyGeorge! My George! and do I find thee thus. Wounded! Fettered! Is thisthy happiness! Is this the manner you return to me! O that this sightcould break my heart at once and let me die!'

'Where, Sir, is your fortitude, ' returned my son with an intrepid voice. 'I must suffer, my life is forfeited, and let them take it. '

I tried to restrain my passions for a few minutes in silence, but Ithought I should have died with the effort--'O my boy, my heart weepsto behold thee thus, and I cannot, cannot help it. In the moment thatI thought thee blest, and prayed for thy safety, to behold thee thusagain! Chained, wounded. And yet the death of the youthful is happy. But I am old, a very old man, and have lived to see this day. To seemy children all untimely falling about me, while I continue a wretchedsurvivor in the midst of ruin! May all the curses that ever sunk a soulfall heavy upon the murderer of my children. May he live, like me, tosee--'

'Hold, Sir, ' replied my son, 'or I shall blush for thee. How, Sir, forgetful of your age, your holy calling, thus to arrogate the justiceof heaven, and fling those curses upward that must soon descend to crushthy own grey head with destruction! No, Sir, let it be your care now tofit me for that vile death I must shortly suffer, to arm me with hopeand resolution, to give me courage to drink of that bitterness whichmust shortly be my portion. '

'My child, you must not die: I am sure no offence of thine can deserveso vile a punishment. My George could never be guilty of any crime tomake his ancestors ashamed of him. '

'Mine, Sir, ' returned my son, 'is, I fear, an unpardonable one. WhenI received my mother's letter from home, I immediately came down, determined to punish the betrayer of our honour, and sent him an orderto meet me, which he answered, not in person, but by his dispatchingfour of his domestics to seize me. I wounded one who first assaulted me, and I fear desperately, but the rest made me their prisoner. The cowardis determined to put the law in execution against me, the proofs areundeniable, I have sent a challenge, and as I am the first transgressorupon the statute, I see no hopes of pardon. But you have often charmedme with your lessons of fortitude, let me now, Sir, find them in yourexample. '

'And, my son, you shall find them. I am now raised above this world, andall the pleasures it can produce. From this moment I break from my heartall the ties that held it down to earth, and will prepare to fit us bothfor eternity. Yes, my son, I will point out the way, and my soul shallguide yours in the ascent, for we will take our flight together. Inow see and am convinced you can expect no pardon here, and I can onlyexhort you to seek it at that greatest tribunal where we both shallshortly answer. But let us not be niggardly in our exhortation, but letall our fellow prisoners have a share: good gaoler let them be permittedto stand here, while I attempt to improve them. ' Thus saying, I made aneffort to rise from my straw, but wanted strength, and was able onlyto recline against the wall. The prisoners assembled according to mydirection, for they loved to hear my council, my son and his mothersupported me on either side, I looked and saw that none were wanting, and then addressed them with the following exhortation. 

CHAPTER 29

The equal dealings of providence demonstrated with regard to the happyand the miserable here below. That from the nature of pleasure and pain, the wretched must be repaid the balance of their sufferings in the lifehereafter

My friends, my children, and fellow sufferers, when I reflect on thedistribution of good and evil here below, I find that much has beengiven man to enjoy, yet still more to suffer. Though we should examinethe whole world, we shall not find one man so happy as to have nothingleft to wish for; but we daily see thousands who by suicide shew us theyhave nothing left to hope. In this life then it appears that we cannotbe entirely blest; but yet we may be completely miserable!

Why man should thus feel pain, why our wretchedness should be requisitein the formation of universal felicity, why, when all other systems aremade perfect by the perfection of their subordinate parts, the greatsystem should require for its perfection, parts that are not onlysubordinate to others, but imperfect in themselves? These are questionsthat never can be explained, and might be useless if known. On thissubject providence has thought fit to elude our curiosity, satisfiedwith granting us motives to consolation. 

In this situation, man has called in the friendly assistance ofphilosophy, and heaven seeing the incapacity of that to console him, hasgiven him the aid of religion. The consolations of philosophy are veryamusing, but often fallacious. It tells us that life is filled withcomforts, if we will but enjoy them; and on the other hand, that thoughwe unavoidably have miseries here, life is short, and they will soon beover. Thus do these consolations destroy each other; for if life is aplace of comfort, its shortness must be misery, and if it be long, ourgriefs are protracted. Thus philosophy is weak; but religion comfortsin an higher strain. Man is here, it tells us, fitting up his mind, andpreparing it for another abode. When the good man leaves the body and isall a glorious mind, he will find he has been making himself a heaven ofhappiness here, while the wretch that has been maimed and contaminatedby his vices, shrinks from his body with terror, and finds that he hasanticipated the vengeance of heaven. To religion then we must hold inevery circumstance of life for our truest comfort; for if already weare happy, it is a pleasure to think that we can make that happinessunending, and if we are miserable, it is very consoling to think thatthere is a place of rest. Thus to the fortunate religion holds out acontinuance of bliss, to the wretched a change from pain. 

But though religion is very kind to all men, it has promised peculiarrewards to the unhappy; the sick, the naked, the houseless, theheavy-laden, and the prisoner, have ever most frequent promises in oursacred law. The author of our religion every where professes himself thewretch's friend, and unlike the false ones of this world, bestows allhis caresses upon the forlorn. The unthinking have censured this aspartiality, as a preference without merit to deserve it. But they neverreflect that it is not in the power even of heaven itself to make theoffer of unceasing felicity as great a gift to the happy as to themiserable. To the first eternity is but a single blessing, since at mostit but encreases what they already possess. To the latter it is a doubleadvantage; for it diminishes their pain here, and rewards them withheavenly bliss hereafter. 

But providence is in another respect kinder to the poor than the rich;for as it thus makes the life after death more desirable, so it smoothsthe passage there. The wretched have had a long familiarity with everyface of terror. The man of sorrow lays himself quietly down, withoutpossessions to regret, and but few ties to stop his departure: he feelsonly nature's pang in the final separation, and this is no way greaterthan he has often fainted under before; for after a certain degree ofpain, every new breach that death opens in the constitution, naturekindly covers with insensibility. 

Thus providence has given the wretched two advantages over the happy, inthis life, greater felicity in dying, and in heaven all thatsuperiority of pleasure which arises from contrasted enjoyment. And thissuperiority, my friends, is no small advantage, and seems to be one ofthe pleasures of the poor man in the parable; for though he was alreadyin heaven, and felt all the raptures it could give, yet it was mentionedas an addition to his happiness, that he had once been wretched and nowwas comforted, that he had known what it was to be miserable, and nowfelt what it was to be happy. 

Thus, my friends, you see religion does what philosophy could never do:it shews the equal dealings of heaven to the happy and the unhappy, andlevels all human enjoyments to nearly the same standard. It gives toboth rich and poor the same happiness hereafter, and equal hopes toaspire after it; but if the rich have the advantage of enjoying pleasurehere, the poor have the endless satisfaction of knowing what it was onceto be miserable, when crowned with endless felicity hereafter; and eventhough this should be called a small advantage, yet being an eternalone, it must make up by duration what the temporal happiness of thegreat may have exceeded by intenseness. 

These are therefore the consolations which the wretched have peculiarto themselves, and in which they are above the rest of mankind; in otherrespects they are below them. They who would know the miseries of thepoor must see life and endure it. To declaim on the temporal advantagesthey enjoy, is only repeating what none either believe or practise. Themen who have the necessaries of living are not poor, and they who wantthem must be miserable. Yes, my friends, we must be miserable. No vainefforts of a refined imagination can sooth the wants of nature, cangive elastic sweetness to the dank vapour of a dungeon, or ease to thethrobbings of a broken heart. Let the philosopher from his couch ofsoftness tell us that we can resist all these. Alas! the effort by whichwe resist them is still the greatest pain! Death is slight, and any manmay sustain it; but torments are dreadful, and these no man can endure. 

To us then, my friends, the promises of happiness in heaven should bepeculiarly dear; for if our reward be in this life alone, we are thenindeed of all men the most miserable. When I look round these gloomywalls, made to terrify, as well as to confine us; this light that onlyserves to shew the horrors of the place, those shackles that tyranny hasimposed, or crime made necessary; when I survey these emaciated looks, and hear those groans, O my friends, what a glorious exchange wouldheaven be for these. To fly through regions unconfined as air, tobask in the sunshine of eternal bliss, to carrol over endless hymnsof praise, to have no master to threaten or insult us, but the form ofgoodness himself for ever in our eyes, when I think of these things, death becomes the messenger of very glad tidings; when I think of thesethings, his sharpest arrow becomes the staff of my support; when I thinkof these things, what is there in life worth having; when I think ofthese things, what is there that should not be spurned away: kings intheir palaces should groan for such advantages; but we, humbled as weare, should yearn for them. 

And shall these things be ours? Ours they will certainly be if webut try for them; and what is a comfort, we are shut out from manytemptations that would retard our pursuit. Only let us try for them, andthey will certainly be ours, and what is still a comfort, shortly too;for if we look back on past life, it appears but a very short span, andwhatever we may think of the rest of life, it will yet be found ofless duration; as we grow older, the days seem to grow shorter, and ourintimacy with time, ever lessens the perception of his stay. Then letus take comfort now, for we shall soon be at our journey's end; weshall soon lay down the heavy burthen laid by heaven upon us, and thoughdeath, the only friend of the wretched, for a little while mocks theweary traveller with the view, and like his horizon, still flies beforehim; yet the time will certainly and shortly come, when we shall ceasefrom our toil; when the luxurious great ones of the world shall nomore tread us to the earth; when we shall think with pleasure on oursufferings below; when we shall be surrounded with all our friends, orsuch as deserved our friendship; when our bliss shall be unutterable, and still, to crown all, unending. 

CHAPTER 30

Happier prospects begin to appear. Let us be inflexible, and fortunewill at last change in our favour

When I had thus finished and my audience was retired, the gaoler, whowas one of the most humane of his profession, hoped I would not bedispleased, as what he did was but his duty, observing that he must beobliged to remove my son into a stronger cell, but that he should bepermitted to revisit me every morning. I thanked him for his clemency, and grasping my boy's hand, bade him farewell, and be mindful of thegreat duty that was before him. 

I again, therefore laid me down, and one of my little ones sate by mybedside reading, when Mr Jenkinson entering, informed me that there wasnews of my daughter; for that she was seen by a person about two hoursbefore in a strange gentleman's company, and that they had stopt ata neighbouring village for refreshment, and seemed as if returning totown. He had scarce delivered this news, when the gaoler came with looksof haste and pleasure, to inform me, that my daughter was found. Mosescame running in a moment after, crying out that his sister Sophy wasbelow and coming up with our old friend Mr Burchell. 

Just as he delivered this news my dearest girl entered, and with looksalmost wild with pleasure, ran to kiss me in a transport of affection. Her mother's tears and silence also shewed her pleasure. --'Here, pappa, ' cried the charming girl, 'here is the brave man to whom I owe mydelivery; to this gentleman's intrepidity I am indebted for my happinessand safety--' A kiss from Mr Burchell, whose pleasure seemed evengreater than hers, interrupted what she was going to add. 

'Ah, Mr Burchell, ' cried I, 'this is but a wretched habitation you nowfind us in; and we are now very different from what you last saw us. Youwere ever our friend: we have long discovered our errors with regardto you, and repented of our ingratitude. After the vile usage you thenreceived at my hands I am almost ashamed to behold your face; yet I hopeyou'll forgive me, as I was deceived by a base ungenerous wretch, who, under the mask of friendship, has undone me. '

'It is impossible, ' replied Mr Burchell, 'that I should forgive you, asyou never deserved my resentment. I partly saw your delusion then, andas it was out of my power to restrain, I could only pity it!'

'It was ever my conjecture, ' cried I, 'that your mind was noble; but nowI find it so. But tell me, my dear child, how hast thou been relieved, or who the ruffians were who carried thee away?'

'Indeed, Sir, ' replied she, 'as to the villain who carried me off, I amyet ignorant. For as my mamma and I were walking out, he came behind us, and almost before I could call for help, forced me into the post-chaise, and in an instant the horses drove away. I met several on the road, towhom I cried out for assistance; but they disregarded my entreaties. In the mean time the ruffian himself used every art to hinder me fromcrying out: he flattered and threatened by turns, and swore that if Icontinued but silent, he intended no harm. In the mean time I had brokenthe canvas that he, had drawn up, and whom should I perceive at somedistance but your old friend Mr Burchell, walking along with his usualswiftness, with the great stick for which we used so much to ridiculehim. As soon as we came within hearing, I called out to him by name, and entreated his help. I repeated my exclamations several times, uponwhich, with a very loud voice, he bid the postillion stop; but the boytook no notice, but drove on with still greater speed. I now thought hecould never overtake us, when in less than a minute I saw Mr Burchellcome running up by the side of the horses, and with one blow knock thepostillion to the ground. The horses when he was fallen soon stopt ofthemselves, and the ruffian stepping out, with oaths and menaces drewhis sword, and ordered him at his peril to retire; but Mr Burchellrunning up, shivered his sword to pieces, and then pursued him for neara quarter of a mile; but he made his escape. I was at this time come outmyself, willing to assist my deliverer; but he soon returned to me intriumph. The postillion, who was recovered, was going to make his escapetoo; but Mr Burchell ordered him at his peril to mount again, and driveback to town. Finding it impossible to resist, he reluctantly complied, though the wound he had received seemed, to me at least, to bedangerous. He continued to complain of the pain as we drove along, sothat he at last excited Mr Burchell's compassion, who, at my request, exchanged him for another at an inn where we called on our return. '

'Welcome then, ' cried I, 'my child, and thou her gallant deliverer, athousand welcomes. Though our chear is but wretched, yet our hearts areready to receive you. And now, Mr Burchell, as you have delivered mygirl, if you think her a recompence she is yours, if you can stoop to analliance with a family so poor as mine, take her, obtain her consent, asI know you have her heart, and you have mine. And let me tell you, Sir, that I give you no small treasure, she has been celebrated for beautyit is true, but that is not my meaning, I give you up a treasure in hermind. '

'But I suppose, Sir, ' cried Mr Burchell, 'that you are apprized of mycircumstances, and of my incapacity to support her as she deserves?'

'If your present objection, ' replied I, 'be meant as an evasion of myoffer, I desist: but I know no man so worthy to deserve her as you; andif I could give her thousands, and thousands sought her from me, yet myhonest brave Burchell should be my dearest choice. '

To all this his silence alone seemed to give a mortifying refusal, andwithout the least reply to my offer, he demanded if we could not befurnished with refreshments from the next inn, to which being answeredin the affirmative, he ordered them to send in the best dinner thatcould be provided upon such short notice. He bespoke also a dozen oftheir best wine; and some cordials for me. Adding, with a smile, that hewould stretch a little for once, and tho' in a prison, asserted he wasnever better disposed to be merry. The waiter soon made his appearancewith preparations for dinner, a table was lent us by the gaoler, whoseemed remarkably assiduous, the wine was disposed in order, and twovery well-drest dishes were brought in. 

My daughter had not yet heard of her poor brother's melancholysituation, and we all seemed unwilling to damp her cheerfulness by therelation. But it was in vain that I attempted to appear chearful, the circumstances of my unfortunate son broke through all efforts todissemble; so that I was at last obliged to damp our mirth by relatinghis misfortunes, and wishing that he might be permitted to share with usin this little interval of satisfaction. After my guests were recovered, from the consternation my account had produced, I requested also that MrJenkinson, a fellow prisoner, might be admitted, and the gaoler grantedmy request with an air of unusual submission. The clanking of myson's irons was no sooner heard along the passage, than his sister ranimpatiently to meet him; while Mr Burchell, in the mean time, asked meif my son's name were George, to which replying in the affirmative, he still continued silent. As soon as my boy entered the room, Icould perceive he regarded Mr Burchell with a look of astonishment andreverence. 'Come on, ' cried I, 'my son, though we are fallen very low, yet providence has been pleased to grant us some small relaxation frompain. Thy sister is restored to us, and there is her deliverer: to thatbrave man it is that I am indebted for yet having a daughter, give him, my boy, the hand of friendship, he deserves our warmest gratitude. '

My son seemed all this while regardless of what I said, and stillcontinued fixed at respectful distance. --'My dear brother, ' cried hissister, 'why don't you thank my good deliverer; the brave should everlove each other. '

He still continued his silence and astonishment, till our guest at lastperceived himself to be known, and assuming all his native dignity, desired my son to come forward. Never before had I seen any thing sotruly majestic as the air he assumed upon this occasion. The greatestobject in the universe, says a certain philosopher, is a good manstruggling with adversity; yet there is still a greater, which is thegood man that comes to relieve it. After he had regarded my son for sometime with a superior air, 'I again find, ' said he, 'unthinking boy, thatthe same crime--' But here he was interrupted by one of the gaoler'sservants, who came to inform us that a person of distinction, whohad driven into town with a chariot and several attendants, sent hisrespects to the gentleman that was with us, and begged to know when heshould think proper to be waited upon. --'Bid the fellow wait, ' cried ourguest, 'till I shall have leisure to receive him;' and then turning tomy son, 'I again find, Sir, ' proceeded he, 'that you are guilty of thesame offence for which you once had my reproof, and for which the lawis now preparing its justest punishments. You imagine, perhaps, that acontempt for your own life, gives you a right to take that of another:but where, Sir, is the difference between a duelist who hazards a lifeof no value, and the murderer who acts with greater security? Is it anydiminution of the gamester's fraud when he alledges that he has staked acounter?'

'Alas, Sir, ' cried I, 'whoever you are, pity the poor misguidedcreature; for what he has done was in obedience to a deluded mother, whoin the bitterness of her resentment required him upon her blessingto avenge her quarrel. Here, Sir, is the letter, which will serve toconvince you of her imprudence and diminish his guilt. '

He took the letter, and hastily read it over. 'This, ' says he, 'thoughnot a perfect excuse, is such a palliation of his fault, as induces meto forgive him. And now, Sir, ' continued he, kindly taking my son bythe hand, 'I see you are surprised at finding me here; but I have oftenvisited prisons upon occasions less interesting. I am now come to seejustice done a worthy man, for whom I have the most sincere esteem. Ihave long been a disguised spectator of thy father's benevolence. I haveat his little dwelling enjoyed respect uncontaminated by flattery, and have received that happiness that courts could not give, from theamusing simplicity around his fire-side. My nephew has been apprizedof my intentions of coming here, and I find is arrived; it would bewronging him and you to condemn him without examination: if there beinjury, there shall be redress; and this I may say without boasting, that none have ever taxed the injustice of Sir William Thornhill. '

We now found the personage whom we had so long entertained as anharmless amusing companion was no other than the celebrated Sir WilliamThornhill, to whose virtues and singularities scarce any were strangers. The poor Mr Burchell was in reality a man of large fortune and greatinterest, to whom senates listened with applause, and whom party heardwith conviction; who was the friend of his country, but loyal to hisking. My poor wife recollecting her former familiarity, seemed to shrinkwith apprehension; but Sophia, who a few moments before thought himher own, now perceiving the immense distance to which he was removed byfortune, was unable to conceal her tears. 

'Ah, Sir, ' cried my wife, with a piteous aspect, 'how is it possiblethat I can ever have your forgiveness; the slights you received from methe last time I had the honour of seeing you at our house, and the jokeswhich I audaciously threw out, these jokes, Sir, I fear can never beforgiven. '

'My dear good lady, ' returned he with a smile, 'if you had your joke, Ihad my answer: I'll leave it to all the company if mine were not asgood as yours. To say the truth, I know no body whom I am disposed tobe angry with at present but the fellow who so frighted my littlegirl here. I had not even time to examine the rascal's person so asto describe him in an advertisement. Can you tell me, Sophia, my dear, whether you should know him again?'

'Indeed, Sir, ' replied she, 'I can't be positive; yet now I recollecthe had a large mark over one of his eye-brows. ' 'I ask pardon, madam, 'interrupted Jenkinson, who was by, 'but be so good as to inform meif the fellow wore his own red hair?'--'Yes, I think so, ' criedSophia. --'And did your honour, ' continued he, turning to Sir William, 'observe the length of his legs?'--'I can't be sure of their length, 'cried the Baronet, 'but I am convinced of their swiftness; for heout-ran me, which is what I thought few men in the kingdom could havedone. '--'Please your honour, ' cried Jenkinson, 'I know the man: it iscertainly the same; the best runner in England; he has beaten Pinwireof Newcastle, Timothy Baxter is his name, I know him perfectly, and thevery place of his retreat this moment. If your honour will bid Mr Gaolerlet two of his men go with me, I'll engage to produce him to you inan hour at farthest. ' Upon this the gaoler was called, who instantlyappearing, Sir William demanded if he knew him. 'Yes, please yourhonour, ' reply'd the gaoler, 'I know Sir William Thornhill well, andevery body that knows any thing of him, will desire to know more ofhim. '--'Well then, ' said the Baronet, 'my request is, that you willpermit this man and two of your servants to go upon a message by myauthority, and as I am in the commission of the peace, I undertake tosecure you. '--'Your promise is sufficient, ' replied the other, 'and youmay at a minute's warning send them over England whenever your honourthinks fit. '

In pursuance of the gaoler's compliance, Jenkinson was dispatched insearch of Timothy Baxter, while we were amused with the assiduity of ouryoungest boy Bill, who had just come in and climbed up to Sir William'sneck in order to kiss him. His mother was immediately going to chastisehis familiarity, but the worthy man prevented her; and taking the child, all ragged as he was, upon his knee, 'What, Bill, you chubby rogue, 'cried he, 'do you remember your old friend Burchell; and Dick too, myhonest veteran, are you here, you shall find I have not forgot you. 'So saying, he gave each a large piece of gingerbread, which the poorfellows eat very heartily, as they had got that morning but a veryscanty breakfast. 

We now sate down to dinner, which was almost cold; but previously, myarm still continuing painful, Sir William wrote a prescription, for hehad made the study of physic his amusement, and was more than moderatelyskilled in the profession: this being sent to an apothecary who lived inthe place, my arm was dressed, and I found almost instantaneous relief. We were waited upon at dinner by the gaoler himself, who was willing todo our guest all the honour in his power. But before we had well dined, another message was brought from his nephew, desiring permission toappear, in order to vindicate his innocence and honour, with whichrequest the Baronet complied, and desired Mr Thornhill to be introduced. 

CHAPTER 31

Former benevolence now repaid with unexpected interest

Mr Thornhill made his entrance with a smile, which he seldom wanted, andwas going to embrace his uncle, which the other repulsed with an air ofdisdain. 'No fawning, Sir, at present, ' cried the Baronet, with a lookof severity, 'the only way to my heart is by the road of honour; buthere I only see complicated instances of falsehood, cowardice, andoppression. How is it, Sir, that this poor man, for whom I know youprofessed a friendship, is used thus hardly? His daughter vilelyseduced, as a recompence for his hospitality, and he himself thrown intoa prison perhaps but for resenting the insult? His son too, whom youfeared to face as a man--'

'Is it possible, Sir, ' interrupted his nephew, 'that my uncle couldobject that as a crime which his repeated instructions alone havepersuaded me to avoid. '

'Your rebuke, ' cried Sir William, 'is just; you have acted in thisinstance prudently and well, though not quite as your father would havedone: my brother indeed was the soul of honour; but thou--yes youhave acted in this instance perfectly right, and it has my warmestapprobation. '

'And I hope, ' said his nephew, 'that the rest of my conduct will notbe found to deserve censure. I appeared, Sir, with this gentleman'sdaughter at some places of public amusement; thus what was levity, scandal called by a harsher name, and it was reported that I haddebauched her. I waited on her father in person, willing to clear thething to his satisfaction, and he received me only with insult andabuse. As for the rest, with regard to his being here, my attorneyand steward can best inform you, as I commit the management of businessentirely to them. If he has contracted debts and is unwilling or evenunable to pay them, it is their business to proceed in this manner, and I see no hardship or injustice in pursuing the most legal means ofredress. '

'If this, ' cried Sir William, 'be as you have stated it, there isnothing unpardonable in your offence, and though your conduct might havebeen more generous in not suffering this gentleman to be oppressed bysubordinate tyranny, yet it has been at least equitable. '

'He cannot contradict a single particular, ' replied the 'Squire, 'I defyhim to do so, and several of my servants are ready to attest what I say. Thus, Sir, ' continued he, finding that I was silent, for in fact I couldnot contradict him, 'thus, Sir, my own innocence is vindicated; butthough at your entreaty I am ready to forgive this gentleman everyother offence, yet his attempts to lessen me in your esteem, excite aresentment that I cannot govern. And this too at a time when his son wasactually preparing to take away my life; this, I say, was such guilt, that I am determined to let the law take its course. I have here thechallenge that was sent me and two witnesses to prove it; one of myservants has been wounded dangerously, and even though my uncle himselfshould dissuade me, which I know he will not, yet I will see publicjustice done, and he shall suffer for it. '

'Thou monster, ' cried my wife, 'hast thou not had vengeance enoughalready, but must my poor boy feel thy cruelty. I hope that good SirWilliam will protect us, for my son is as innocent as a child; I am surehe is, and never did harm to man. '

'Madam, ' replied the good man, 'your wishes for his safety are notgreater than mine; but I am sorry to find his guilt too plain; and if mynephew persists--' But the appearance of Jenkinson and the gaoler's twoservants now called off our attention, who entered, haling in a tallman, very genteelly drest, and answering the description already givenof the ruffian who had carried off my daughter--'Here, ' cried Jenkinson, pulling him in, 'here we have him, and if ever there was a candidate forTyburn, this is one. '

The moment Mr Thornhill perceived the prisoner, and Jenkinson, who hadhim in custody, he seemed to shrink back with terror. His face becamepale with conscious guilt, and he would have withdrawn; but Jenkinson, who perceived his design, stopt him--'What, 'Squire, ' cried he, 'are youashamed of your two old acquaintances, Jenkinson and Baxter: but this isthe way that all great men forget their friends, though I am resolvedwe will not forget you. Our prisoner, please your honour, ' continuedhe, turning to Sir William, 'has already confessed all. This is thegentleman reported to be so dangerously wounded: He declares that it wasMr Thornhill who first put him upon this affair, that he gave him thecloaths he now wears to appear like a gentleman, and furnished him withthe post-chaise. The plan was laid between them that he should carry offthe young lady to a place of safety, and that there he should threatenand terrify her; but Mr Thornhill was to come in in the mean time, as ifby accident, to her rescue, and that they should fight awhile andthen he was to run off, by which Mr Thornhill would have the betteropportunity of gaining her affections himself under the character of herdefender. '

Sir William remembered the coat to have been frequently worn by hisnephew, and all the rest the prisoner himself confirmed by a morecircumstantial account; concluding, that Mr Thornhill had often declaredto him that he was in love with both sisters at the same time. 

'Heavens, ' cried Sir William, 'what a viper have I been fostering inmy bosom! And so fond of public justice too as he seemed to be. Buthe shall have it; secure him, Mr Gaoler--yet hold, I fear there is notlegal evidence to detain him. '

Upon this, Mr Thornhill, with the utmost humility, entreated that twosuch abandoned wretches might not be admitted as evidences against him, but that his servants should be examined. --'Your servants' replied SirWilliam, 'wretch, call them yours no longer: but come let us hear whatthose fellows have to say, let his butler be called. '

When the butler was introduced, he soon perceived by his former master'slooks that all his power was now over. 'Tell me, ' cried Sir Williamsternly, 'have you ever seen your master and that fellow drest up inhis cloaths in company together?' 'Yes, please your honour, ' cried thebutler, 'a thousand times: he was the man that always brought himhis ladies. '--'How, ' interrupted young Mr Thornhill, 'this to myface!'--'Yes, ' replied the butler, 'or to any man's face. To tell youa truth, Master Thornhill, I never either loved you or liked you, andI don't care if I tell you now a piece of my mind. '--'Now then, ' criedJenkinson, 'tell his honour whether you know any thing of me. '--'I can'tsay, ' replied the butler, 'that I know much good of you. The nightthat gentleman's daughter was deluded to our house, you were one ofthem. '--'So then, ' cried Sir William, 'I find you have brought avery fine witness to prove your innocence: thou stain to humanity! toassociate with such wretches!' (But continuing his examination) 'Youtell me, Mr Butler, that this was the person who brought him this oldgentleman's daughter. '--'No, please your honour, ' replied the butler, 'he did not bring her, for the 'Squire himself undertook that business;but he brought the priest that pretended to marry them. '--'It is buttoo true, ' cried Jenkinson, 'I cannot deny it, that was the employmentassigned me, and I confess it to my confusion. '

'Good heavens!' exclaimed the Baronet, 'how every new discovery ofhis villainy alarms me. All his guilt is now too plain, and I find hispresent prosecution was dictated by tyranny, cowardice and revenge; atmy request, Mr Gaoler, set this young officer, now your prisoner, free, and trust to me for the consequences. I'll make it my business toset the affair in a proper light to my friend the magistrate who hascommitted him. But where is the unfortunate young lady herself: lether appear to confront this wretch, I long to know by what arts he hasseduced her. Entreat her to come in. Where is she?'

'Ah, Sir, ' said I, 'that question stings me to the heart: I was onceindeed happy in a daughter, but her miseries--' Another interruptionhere prevented me; for who should make her appearance but Miss ArabellaWilmot, who was next day to have been married to Mr Thornhill. Nothingcould equal her surprize at seeing Sir William and his nephew herebefore her; for her arrival was quite accidental. It happened that sheand the old gentleman her father were passing through the town, on theirway to her aunt's, who had insisted that her nuptials with Mr Thornhillshould be consummated at her house; but stopping for refreshment, theyput up at an inn at the other end of the town. It was there from thewindow that the young lady happened to observe one of my little boysplaying in the street, and instantly sending a footman to bring thechild to her, she learnt from him some account of our misfortunes; butwas still kept ignorant of young Mr Thornhill's being the cause. Thoughher father made several remonstrances on the impropriety of going to aprison to visit us, yet they were ineffectual; she desired the childto conduct her, which he did, and it was thus she surprised us at ajuncture so unexpected. 

Nor can I go on, without a reflection on those accidental meetings, which, though they happen every day, seldom excite our surprize but uponsome extraordinary occasion. To what a fortuitous concurrence do wenot owe every pleasure and convenience of our lives. How many seemingaccidents must unite before we can be cloathed or fed. The peasantmust be disposed to labour, the shower must fall, the wind fill themerchant's sail, or numbers must want the usual supply. 

We all continued silent for some moments, while my charming pupil, which was the name I generally gave this young lady, united in her lookscompassion and astonishment, which gave new finishings to her beauty. 'Indeed, my dear Mr Thornhill, ' cried she to the 'Squire, who shesupposed was come here to succour and not to oppress us, 'I take it alittle unkindly that you should come here without me, or never inform meof the situation of a family so dear to us both: you know I should takeas much pleasure in contributing to the relief of my reverend old masterhere, whom I shall ever esteem, as you can. But I find that, like youruncle, you take a pleasure in doing good in secret. '

'He find pleasure in doing good!' cried Sir William, interrupting her. 'No, my dear, his pleasures are as base as he is. You see in him, madam, as complete a villain as ever disgraced humanity. A wretch, who afterhaving deluded this poor man's daughter, after plotting against theinnocence of her sister, has thrown the father into prison, and theeldest son into fetters, because he had courage to face his betrayer. And give me leave, madam, now to congratulate you upon an escape fromthe embraces of such a monster. '

'O goodness, ' cried the lovely girl, 'how have I been deceived! MrThornhill informed me for certain that this gentleman's eldest son, Captain Primrose, was gone off to America with his new married lady. '

'My sweetest miss, ' cried my wife, 'he has told you nothing butfalsehoods. My son George never left the kingdom, nor was married. Tho'you have forsaken him, he has always loved you too well to think of anybody else; and I have heard him say he would die a batchellor for yoursake. ' She then proceeded to expatiate upon the sincerity of her son'spassion, she set his duel with Mr Thornhill in a proper light, fromthence she made a rapid digression to the 'Squire's debaucheries, hispretended marriages, and ended with a most insulting picture of hiscowardice. 

'Good heavens!' cried Miss Wilmot, 'how very near have I been to thebrink of ruin! But how great is my pleasure to have escaped it! Tenthousand falsehoods has this gentleman told me! He had at last artenough to persuade me that my promise to the only man I esteemed was nolonger binding, since he had been unfaithful. By his falsehoods I wastaught to detest one equally brave and generous!'

But by this time my son was freed from the encumbrances of justice asthe person supposed to be wounded was detected to be an impostor. MrJenkinson also, who had acted as his valet de chambre, had dressedup his hair, and furnished him with whatever was necessary to make agenteel appearance. He now therefore entered, handsomely drest in hisregimentals, and, without vanity, (for I am above it) he appeared ashandsome a fellow as ever wore a military dress. As he entered, he madeMiss Wilmot a modest and distant bow, for he was not as yet acquaintedwith the change which the eloquence of his mother had wrought in hisfavour. But no decorums could restrain the impatience of his blushingmistress to be forgiven. Her tears, her looks, all contributed todiscover the real sensations of her heart for having forgotten herformer promise and having suffered herself to be deluded by an impostor. My son appeared amazed at her condescension, and could scarce believe itreal. --'Sure, madam, ' cried he, 'this is but delusion! I can never havemerited this! To be, blest thus is to be too happy. '--'No, Sir, ' repliedshe, 'I have been deceived, basely deceived, else nothing could haveever made me unjust to my promise. You know my friendship, you have longknown it; but forget what I have done, and as you once had my warmestvows of constancy, you shall now have them repeated; and be assured thatif your Arabella cannot be yours, she shall never be another's. '--'Andno other's you shall be, ' cried Sir William, 'if I have any influencewith your father. '

This hint was sufficient for my son Moses, who immediately flew to theinn where the old gentleman was, to inform him of every circumstancethat had happened. But in the mean time the 'Squire perceiving thathe was on every side undone, now finding that no hopes were left fromflattery or dissimulation, concluded that his wisest way would be toturn and face his pursuers. Thus laying aside all shame, he appearedthe open hardy villain. 'I find then, ' cried he, 'that I am to expectno justice here; but I am resolved it shall be done me. You shall know, Sir, ' turning to Sir William, 'I am no longer a poor dependent upon yourfavours. I scorn them. Nothing can keep Miss Wilmot's fortune from me, which, I thank her father's assiduity, is pretty large. The articles, and a bond for her fortune, are signed, and safe in my possession. Itwas her fortune, not her person, that induced me to wish for this match, and possessed of the one, let who will take the other. '

This was an alarming blow, Sir William was sensible of the justice ofhis claims, for he had been instrumental in drawing up the marriagearticles himself. Miss Wilmot therefore perceiving that her fortune wasirretrievably lost, turning to my son, she asked if the loss of fortunecould lessen her value to him. 'Though fortune, ' said she, 'is out of mypower, at least I have my hand to give. '

'And that, madam, ' cried her real lover, 'was indeed all that you everhad to give; at least all that I ever thought worth the acceptance. Andnow I protest, my Arabella, by all that's happy, your want of fortunethis moment encreases my pleasure, as it serves to convince my sweetgirl of my sincerity. '

Mr Wilmot now entering, he seemed not a little pleased at the danger hisdaughter had just escaped, and readily consented to a dissolution of thematch. But finding that her fortune, which was secured to Mr Thornhillby bond, would not be given up, nothing could exceed his disappointment. He now saw that his money must all go to enrich one who had no fortuneof his own. He could bear his being a rascal; but to want an equivalentto his daughter's fortune was wormwood. He sate therefore for someminutes employed in the most mortifying speculations, till Sir Williamattempted to lessen his anxiety. --'I must confess, Sir' cried he, 'that your present disappointment does not entirely displease me. Yourimmoderate passion for wealth is now justly punished. But tho' theyoung lady cannot be rich, she has still a competence sufficient to givecontent. Here you see an honest young soldier, who is willing to takeher without fortune; they have long loved each other, and for thefriendship I bear his father, my interest shall not be wanting in hispromotion. Leave then that ambition which disappoints you, and for onceadmit that happiness which courts your acceptance. '

'Sir William, ' replied the old gentleman, 'be assured I never yet forcedher inclinations, nor will I now. If she still continues to love thisyoung gentleman, let her have him with all my heart. There is still, thank heaven, some fortune left, and your promise will make it somethingmore. Only let my old friend here (meaning me) give me a promise ofsettling six thousand pounds upon my girl, if ever he should come tohis fortune, and I am ready this night to be the first to join themtogether. '

As it now remained with me to make the young couple happy, I readilygave a promise of making the settlement he required, which, to onewho had such little expectations as I, was no great favour. We had nowtherefore the satisfaction of seeing them fly into each other's armsin a transport. 'After all my misfortunes, ' cried my son George, 'to bethus rewarded! Sure this is more than I could ever have presumed to hopefor. To be possessed of all that's good, and after such an interval ofpain! My warmest wishes could never rise so high!'--'Yes, my George, 'returned his lovely bride, 'now let the wretch take my fortune; sinceyou are happy without it so am I. O what an exchange have I made fromthe basest of men to the dearest best!--Let him enjoy our fortune, Inow can be happy even in indigence. '--'And I promise you, ' cried the'Squire, with a malicious grin, 'that I shall be very happy with whatyou despise. '--'Hold, hold, Sir, ' cried Jenkinson, 'there are two wordsto that bargain. As for that lady's fortune, Sir, you shall never toucha single stiver of it. Pray your honour, ' continued he to SirWilliam, 'can the 'Squire have this lady's fortune if he be married toanother?'--'How can you make such a simple demand, ' replied the Baronet, 'undoubtedly he cannot. '--'I am sorry for that, ' cried Jenkinson;'for as this gentleman and I have been old fellow spotters, I have afriendship for him. But I must declare, well as I love him, thathis contract is not worth a tobacco stopper, for he is marriedalready. '--'You lie, like a rascal, ' returned the 'Squire, whoseemed rouzed by this insult, 'I never was legally married to anywoman. '--'Indeed, begging your honour's pardon, ' replied the other, 'youwere; and I hope you will shew a proper return of friendship to your ownhonest Jenkinson, who brings you a wife, and if the company restrainstheir curiosity a few minutes, they shall see her. '--So saying he wentoff with his usual celerity, and left us all unable to form any probableconjecture as to his design. --'Ay let him go, ' cried the 'Squire, 'whatever else I may have done I defy him there. I am too old now to befrightened with squibs. '

'I am surprised, ' said the Baronet, 'what the fellow can intend by this. Some low piece of humour I suppose!'--'Perhaps, Sir, ' replied I, 'he mayhave a more serious meaning. For when we reflect on the various schemesthis gentleman has laid to seduce innocence, perhaps some one moreartful than the rest has been found able to deceive him. When weconsider what numbers he has ruined, how many parents now feel withanguish the infamy and the contamination which he has brought into theirfamilies, it would not surprise me if some one of them--Amazement! Do Isee my lost daughter! Do I hold her! It is, it is my life, my happiness. I thought thee lost, my Olivia, yet still I hold thee--and still thoushalt live to bless me. '--The warmest transports of the fondest loverwere not greater than mine when I saw him introduce my child, and heldmy daughter in my arms, whose silence only spoke her raptures. 'Andart thou returned to me, my darling, ' cried I, 'to be my comfort inage!'--'That she is, ' cried Jenkinson, 'and make much of her, for sheis your own honourable child, and as honest a woman as any in the wholeroom, let the other be who she will. And as for you 'Squire, as sureas you stand there this young lady is your lawful wedded wife. And toconvince you that I speak nothing but truth, here is the licence bywhich you were married together. '--So saying, he put the licence intothe Baronet's hands, who read it, and found it perfect in every respect. 'And now, gentlemen, ' continued he, I find you are surprised at allthis; but a few words will explain the difficulty. That there 'Squireof renown, for whom I have a great friendship, but that's betweenourselves, as often employed me in doing odd little things for him. Among the rest, he commissioned me to procure him a false licence anda false priest, in order to deceive this young lady. But as I was verymuch his friend, what did I do but went and got a true licence and atrue priest, and married them both as fast as the cloth could make them. Perhaps you'll think it was generosity that made me do all this. But no. To my shame I confess it, my only design was to keep the licence andlet the 'Squire know that I could prove it upon him whenever I thoughtproper, and so make him come down whenever I wanted money. ' A burst ofpleasure now seemed to fill the whole apartment; our joy reached even tothe common room, where the prisoners themselves sympathized, --And shook their chains In transport and rude harmony. 

Happiness was expanded upon every face, and even Olivia's cheek seemedflushed with pleasure. To be thus restored to reputation, to friends andfortune at once, was a rapture sufficient to stop the progress of decayand restore former health and vivacity. But perhaps among all there wasnot one who felt sincerer pleasure than I. Still holding the dear-lovedchild in my arms, I asked my heart if these transports were notdelusion. 'How could you, ' cried I, turning to Mr Jenkinson, 'how couldyou add to my miseries by the story of her death! But it matters not, mypleasure at finding her again, is more than a recompence for the pain. '

'As to your question, ' replied Jenkinson, 'that is easily answered. I thought the only probable means of freeing you from prison, was bysubmitting to the 'Squire, and consenting to his marriage with the otheryoung lady. But these you had vowed never to grant while your daughterwas living, there was therefore no other method to bring things to bearbut by persuading you that she was dead. I prevailed on your wife tojoin in the deceit, and we have not had a fit opportunity of undeceivingyou till now. '

In the whole assembly now there only appeared two faces that did notglow with transport. Mr Thornhill's assurance had entirely forsaken him:he now saw the gulph of infamy and want before him, and trembled to takethe plunge. He therefore fell on his knees before his uncle, and in avoice of piercing misery implored compassion. Sir William was going tospurn him away, but at my request he raised him, and after pausing afew moments, 'Thy vices, crimes, and ingratitude, ' cried he, 'deserve notenderness; yet thou shalt not be entirely forsaken, a bare competenceshall be supplied, to support the wants of life, but not its follies. This young lady, thy wife, shall be put in possession of a third partof that fortune which once was thine, and from her tenderness alone thouart to expect any extraordinary supplies for the future. ' He was goingto express his gratitude for such kindness in a set speech; but theBaronet prevented him by bidding him not aggravate his meanness, whichwas already but too apparent. He ordered him at the same time to begone, and from all his former domestics to chuse one such as he shouldthink proper, which was all that should be granted to attend him. 

As soon as he left us, Sir William very politely stept up to his newniece with a smile, and wished her joy. His example was followed byMiss Wilmot and her father; my wife too kissed her daughter with muchaffection, as, to use her own expression, she was now made an honestwoman of. Sophia and Moses followed in turn, and even our benefactorJenkinson desired to be admitted to that honour. Our satisfaction seemedscarce capable of increase. Sir William, whose greatest leasure was indoing good, now looked round with a countenance open as the sun, and sawnothing but joy in the looks of all except that of my daughter Sophia, who, for some reasons we could not comprehend, did not seem perfectlysatisfied. 'I think now, ' cried he, with a smile, 'that all the company, except one or two, seem perfectly happy. There only remains an act ofjustice for me to do. You are sensible, Sir, ' continued he, turning tome, 'of the obligations we both owe Mr Jenkinson. And it is but justwe should both reward him for it. Miss Sophia will, I am sure, makehim very happy, and he shall have from me five hundred pounds asher fortune, and upon this I am sure they can live very comfortablytogether. Come, Miss Sophia, what say you to this match of my making?Will you have him?'--My poor girl seemed almost sinking into hermother's arms at the hideous proposal. --'Have him, Sir!' cried shefaintly. 'No, Sir, never. '--'What, ' cried he again, 'not have MrJenkinson, your benefactor, a handsome young fellow, with five hundredpounds and good expectations!'--'I beg, Sir, ' returned she, scarce ableto speak, 'that you'll desist, and not make me so very wretched. '--'Wasever such obstinacy known, ' cried he again, 'to refuse a man whom thefamily has such infinite obligations to, who has preserved your sister, and who has five hundred pounds! What not have him!'--'No, Sir, never, 'replied she, angrily, 'I'd sooner die first. '--'If that be the casethen, ' cried he, 'if you will not have him--I think I must have youmyself. ' And so saying, he caught her to his breast with ardour. 'Myloveliest, my most sensible of girls, ' cried he, 'how could you everthink your own Burchell could deceive you, or that Sir William Thornhillcould ever cease to admire a mistress that loved him for himself alone?I have for some years sought for a woman, who a stranger to my fortunecould think that I had merit as a man. After having tried in vain, evenamongst the pert and the ugly, how great at last must be my rapture tohave made a conquest over such sense and such heavenly beauty. ' Thenturning to Jenkinson, 'As I cannot, Sir, part with this young ladymyself, for she has taken a fancy to the cut of my face, all therecompence I can make is to give you her fortune, and you may callupon my steward to-morrow for five hundred pounds. ' Thus we had all ourcompliments to repeat, and Lady Thornhill underwent the same round ofceremony that her sister had done before. In the mean time Sir William'sgentleman appeared to tell us that the equipages were ready to carry usto the inn, where every thing was prepared for our reception. Mywife and I led the van, and left those gloomy mansions of sorrow. The generous Baronet ordered forty pounds to be distributed among theprisoners, and Mr Wilmot, induced by his example, gave half that sum. Wewere received below by the shouts of the villagers, and I saw and shookby the hand two or three of my honest parishioners, who were among thenumber. They attended us to our inn, where a sumptuous entertainment wasprovided, and coarser provisions distributed in great quantities amongthe populace. 

After supper, as my spirits were exhausted by the alternation ofpleasure and pain which they had sustained during the day, I askedpermission to withdraw, and leaving the company in the midst of theirmirth, as soon as I found myself alone, I poured out my heart ingratitude to the giver of joy as well as of sorrow, and then sleptundisturbed till morning. 

CHAPTER 32. 

The Conclusion

The next morning as soon as I awaked I found my eldest son sitting by mybedside, who came to encrease my joy with another turn of fortune in myfavour. First having released me from the settlement that I had made theday before in his favour, he let me know that my merchant who had failedin town was arrested at Antwerp, and there had given up effects toa much greater amount than what was due to his creditors. My boy'sgenerosity pleased me almost as much as this unlooked for good fortune. But I had some doubts whether I ought in justice to accept his offer. While I was pondering upon this, Sir William entered the room, to whomI communicated my doubts. His opinion was, that as my son was alreadypossessed of a very affluent fortune by his marriage, I might accept hisoffer without any hesitation. His business, however, was to inform methat as he had the night before sent for the licences, and expected themevery hour, he hoped that I would not refuse my assistance in makingall the company happy that morning. A footman entered while we werespeaking, to tell us that the messenger was returned, and as I was bythis time ready, I went down, where I found the whole company as merryas affluence and innocence could make them. However, as they were nowpreparing for a very solemn ceremony, their laughter entirely displeasedme. I told them of the grave, becoming and sublime deportment theyshould assume upon this Mystical occasion, and read them two homiliesand a thesis of my own composing, in order to prepare them. Yet theystill seemed perfectly refractory and ungovernable. Even as we weregoing along to church, to which I led the way, all gravity had quiteforsaken them, and I was often tempted to turn back in indignation. Inchurch a new dilemma arose, which promised no easy solution. This was, which couple should be married first; my son's bride warmly insisted, that Lady Thornhill, (that was to be) should take the lead; but this theother refused with equal ardour, protesting she would not be guilty ofsuch rudeness for the world. The argument was supported for some timebetween both with equal obstinacy and good breeding. But as I stood allthis time with my book ready, I was at last quite tired of the contest, and shutting it, 'I perceive, ' cried I, 'that none of you have a mindto be married, and I think we had as good go back again; for I supposethere will be no business done here to-day. '--This at once reduced themto reason. The Baronet and his Lady were first married, and then my sonand his lovely partner. 

I had previously that morning given orders that a coach should be sentfor my honest neighbour Flamborough and his family, by which means, upon our return to the inn, we had the pleasure of finding the twoMiss Flamboroughs alighted before us. Mr Jenkinson gave his hand to theeldest, and my son Moses led up the other; (and I have since found thathe has taken a real liking to the girl, and my consent and bounty heshall have whenever he thinks proper to demand them. ) We were no soonerreturned to the inn, but numbers of my parishioners, hearing of mysuccess, came to congratulate me, but among the rest were those who roseto rescue me, and whom I formerly rebuked with such sharpness. I toldthe story to Sir William, my son-in-law, who went out and reprove themwith great severity; but finding them quite disheartened by his harshreproof, he gave them half a guinea a piece to drink his health andraise their dejected spirits. 

Soon after this we were called to a very genteel entertainment, whichwas drest by Mr Thornhill's cook. And it may not be improper to observewith respect to that gentleman, that he now resides in quality ofcompanion at a relation's house, being very well liked and seldomsitting at the side-table, except when there is no room at the other;for they make no stranger of him. His time is pretty much taken up inkeeping his relation, who is a little melancholy, in spirits, and inlearning to blow the French-horn. My eldest daughter, however, stillremembers him with regret; and she has even told me, though I make agreat secret of it, that when he reforms she may be brought to relent. But to return, for I am not apt to digress thus, when we were to sitdown to dinner our ceremonies were going to be renewed. The question waswhether my eldest daughter, as being a matron, should not sit above thetwo young brides, but the debate was cut short by my son George, whoproposed, that the company should sit indiscriminately, every gentlemanby his lady. This was received with great approbation by all, exceptingmy wife, who I could perceive was not perfectly satisfied, as sheexpected to have had the pleasure of sitting at the head of the tableand carving all the meat for all the company. But notwithstanding this, it is impossible to describe our good humour. I can't say whether wehad more wit amongst us now than usual; but I am certain we had morelaughing, which answered the end as well. One jest I particularlyremember, old Mr Wilmot drinking to Moses, whose head was turned anotherway, my son replied, 'Madam, I thank you. ' Upon which the old gentleman, winking upon the rest of the company, observed that he was thinking ofhis mistress. At which jest I thought the two miss Flamboroughs wouldhave died with laughing. As soon as dinner was over, according to myold custom, I requested that the table might be taken away, to havethe pleasure of seeing all my family assembled once more by a chearfulfireside. My two little ones sat upon each knee, the rest of the companyby their partners. I had nothing now on this side of the grave to wishfor, all my cares were over, my pleasure was unspeakable. It now onlyremained that my gratitude in good fortune should exceed my formersubmission in adversity.