#THE TATLER#

Edited with Introduction & Notes by #George A. Aitken#

_Author of_ "The Life of Richard Steele, " Etc. 

Vol. I

New YorkHadley & Mathews156 Fifth AvenueLondon: Duckworth & Co. 1899

Preface

_The original numbers of the _Tatler_ were reissued in two forms in1710-11; one edition, in octavo, being published by subscription, whilethe other, in duodecimo, was for the general public. The present editionhas been printed from a copy of the latter issue, which, as recorded onthe title-page, was "revised and corrected by the Author"; but I havehad by my side, for constant reference, a complete set of the foliosheets, containing the "Lucubrations of Isaac Bickerstaff" in the formin which they were first presented to the world. Scrupulous accuracy inthe text has been aimed at, but the eccentricities of spelling--whichwere the printer's, not the author's--have not been preserved, and thepunctuation has occasionally been corrected. 

The first and the most valuable of the annotated editions of the_Tatler_ was published by John Nichols and others in 1786, with notes byDr. Percy, Bishop of Dromore, Dr. John Calder, and Dr. Pearce, Bishopof Rochester; and though these notes are often irrelevant and out ofdate, they contain an immense amount of information, and have beenfreely made use of by subsequent editors. I have endeavoured to preservewhat is of value in the older editions, and to supplement it, asconcisely as possible, by such further information as appeareddesirable. The eighteenth-century diaries and letters published of lateyears have in many cases enabled me to throw light on passages whichhave hitherto been obscure, and sometimes useful illustrations have beenfound in the contemporary newspapers and periodicals. 

The portraits of Steele, Addison, and Swift, the writers most associatedwith the _Tatler_, have been taken from contemporary engravings in theBritish Museum; and the imaginary portrait of Isaac Bickerstaff in thelast volume is from a rare picture drawn by Lens in 1710 as afrontispiece to collections of the original folio numbers. _

G. A. A. 

_August 1898. _

INTRODUCTION

When the first number of the _Tatler_ appeared in 1709, Steele andAddison were about thirty-seven years of age, while Swift, then stillcounted among the Whigs, was more than four years their senior. Addisonand Steele had been friends at the Charterhouse School and at Oxford, and though they had during the following years had varying experiences, their friendship had in no way lessened. Addison had been a fellow ofhis college, had gained the patronage of Charles Montague and LordSomers, had made the grand tour, and published an account of histravels; had gained popularity by his poem "The Campaign, " written incelebration of the victory at Blenheim; had been made an Under-Secretaryof State, and finally (in December 1708) had been appointed secretary toLord Wharton, the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Steele, on the other hand, had enlisted in the Guards, without taking any degree; had obtained anensign's commission after dedicating to Lord Cutts a poem on QueenMary's death; and had written a little book called "The Christian Hero, "designed "to fix upon his own mind a strong impression of virtue andreligion, in opposition to a stronger propensity towards unwarrantablepleasures. " At the close of the same year (1701) he brought out asuccessful comedy, "The Funeral, " which was followed by "The LyingLover" and "The Tender Husband, " plays which gave strong evidence of theinfluence of Jeremy Collier's attack on the immorality of the stage. "The Tender Husband" owed "many applauded strokes" to Addison, to whomit was dedicated by Steele, who wished "to show the esteem I have foryou, and that I look upon my intimacy with you as one of the mostvaluable enjoyments of my life. " In 1705 Steele married a lady withproperty in Barbados, and on her death married, in 1707, Mary Scurlock, the "dear Prue" to whom he addressed his well-known letters. For therest, he had been made gentleman-waiter to Prince George of Denmark, andappointed Gazetteer, with a salary of £300, less a tax of £45 a year. Hewas disappointed in his hopes of obtaining the Under-Secretaryshipvacated by Addison. 

From 1705 onwards there is evidence of frequent and familiar intercoursebetween Swift and Addison and Steele. After Sir William Temple's death, Swift had become chaplain to the Earl of Berkeley, who gave him theliving of Laracor; and during a visit to England in 1704 he had gained aposition in the front rank of authors by the "Tale of a Tub" and the"Battle of the Books. " At the close of 1707 he was again in England, charged with a mission to obtain for the Irish clergy the remission ofFirst Fruits and Tenths already conceded to the English, and throughout1708 what he calls "the triumvirate of Addison, Steele and me" were inconstant communication. In that year Swift published a pamphlet called"A Project for the Advancement of Religion and the Reformation ofManners, " which anticipated many of the arguments used in the _Tatler_and _Spectator_; and he also commenced his attack on John Partridge, quack doctor and maker of astrological almanacs. On the appearance ofPartridge's "Merlinus Liberatus" for 1708, Swift--borrowing a name fromthe signboard of a shoemaker--published "Predictions for the year 1708, wherein the month and day of the month are set down, the persons named, and the great actions and events of next year particularly related, asthey will come to pass. Written to prevent the people of England frombeing further imposed on by vulgar almanack-makers. By IsaacBickerstaff, Esq. " Isaac Bickerstaff professed to be a true astrologer, disgusted at the lies told by impostors, and he said that he was willingto be hooted at as a cheat if his prophecies were not exactly fulfilled. His first prediction was that Partridge would die on the 29th of March;and on the 30th a second pamphlet was published, "The accomplishment ofthe first of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions . . . In a letter to a personof quality, in which a detailed account is given of Partridge's death, at five minutes after seven, by which it is clear that Mr. Bickerstaffwas mistaken almost four hours in his calculation. . . . Whether he hadbeen the cause of this poor man's death, as well as the predictor, maybe very reasonably disputed. " The joke was maintained by Swift andothers in various pieces, and when Partridge, in his almanac for 1709, protested that he was still living, Swift replied, in "A Vindication ofIsaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , " which was advertised in the fifth number ofthe _Tatler_, that he could prove that Partridge was not alive; for noone living could have written such rubbish as the new almanac. Instarting his new paper Steele assumed the name of the astrologer IsaacBickerstaff, rendered famous by Swift, and made frequent use of Swift'sleading idea. He himself summed up the controversy in the words, "if aman's art is gone, the man is gone, though his body still appear. "

Much has been written on the interesting question of the early historyof the periodical press; but with one exception none of its predecessorshad much effect on the _Tatler_. John Dunton's _Athenian Mercury_ wasthe forerunner of our _Notes and Queries_; and it was followed by the_British Apollo_ (1708-11), the second title of which was "CuriousAmusements for the Ingenious. To which are added the most MaterialOccurrences, Foreign and Domestic. Performed by a Society of Gentlemen. "_The Gentleman's Journal_ of 1692-4, a monthly paper of poems and othermiscellaneous matter, was succeeded, in 1707, by Oldmixon's _Muses'Mercury; or, The Monthly Miscellany_, a periodical which contained alsonotices of new plays and books, and numbered Steele among itscontributors. Defoe's _Review_, begun in 1704, aimed at setting theaffairs of Europe in a clearer light, regardless of party; but, addedDefoe, "After our serious matters are over, we shall at the end of everypaper present you with a little diversion, as anything occurs to makethe world merry; and whether friend or foe, one party or another, ifanything happens so scandalous as to require an open reproof, the worldwill meet with it there. " Accordingly, of the eight pages in the firstnumber, one and a half pages consist of "Mercure Scandale; or, Advicefrom the Scandalous Club, Translated out of French. " The censure was tobe of the actions of men, not of parties; and the design was to exposenot persons but things. A monthly supplement, dealing with "theimmediate subject then on the tongues of the town, " was begun inSeptember 1704; and pressure on the space before long pushed the Advicesfrom the Scandal Club out of the ordinary issue of the _Review_. Subsequently Defoe wrote more than once in praise of the way in whichhis work had been taken up by Isaac Bickerstaff. 

Probably the _Tatler_ was started by Steele without any very definitedesigns for the future. According to the first number, published onApril 12, 1709, the aim was to instruct the public what to think, aftertheir reading, and there was to be something for the entertainment ofthe fair sex. The numbers were published three times a week, on thepost-days, at the price of one penny. Each paper consisted of a singlefolio sheet, and the first four were distributed gratuitously. Steeleprobably thought that his position of Gazetteer would enable him to givethe latest news, and he says that these paragraphs brought in amultitude of readers; but as the position of the _Tatler_ becameestablished, the need for the support of these items of news grew less, and after the first eighty numbers they are of rare occurrence. Quiteearly in the career of the paper Addison, speaking of the distress whichwould be caused among the news-writers by the conclusion of a peace, said that Bickerstaff was not personally concerned in the matter; "foras my chief scenes of action are coffee-houses, playhouses, and my ownapartment, I am in no need of camps, fortifications, and fields ofbattle to support me. . . . I shall still be safe as long as there are menor women, or politicians, or lovers, or poets, or nymphs, or swains, orcits, or courtiers in being. "[1]

The subject of each article was to be indicated by the name of thecoffee-house or other place from which it was supposed to come: "Allaccounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment shall be under thearticle of White's Chocolate-house; Poetry, under that of Will'sCoffee-house; Learning, under the title of Grecian; Foreign and DomesticNews you will have from Saint James's Coffee-house; and what else I haveto offer on any other subject shall be dated from my own Apartment. " Forsome time each number contained short papers from all or several ofthese places; but gradually it became usual to devote the whole numberto one topic. The motto of the first forty numbers was "Quicquid agunthomines . . . Nostri farrago libelli"; but in the following numbers it waschanged to "Celebrare domestica facta"; and afterwards each numbergenerally had a quotation bearing upon the subject of the day. Writingsome time after the commencement of the fatter, Steele said, in theDedication prefixed to the first volume, "The general purpose of thispaper is to expose the false arts of life, to pull off the disguises ofcunning, vanity, and affectation, and to recommend a general simplicityin our dress, our discourse, and our behaviour. " And elsewhere he says:"As for my labours, which he is pleased to inquire after, if they butwear one impertinence out of human life, destroy a single vice, or givea morning's cheerfulness to an honest mind; in short, if the world canbe but one virtue the better, or in any degree less vicious, or receivefrom them the smallest addition to their innocent diversions; I shallnot think my pains, or indeed my life, to have been spent in vain. "[2]At the close, speaking in his own name, Steele wrote: "The generalpurpose of the whole has been to recommend truth, innocence, honour, andvirtue, as the chief ornaments of life; but I considered, that severityof manners was absolutely necessary to him who would censure others, andfor that reason, and that only, chose to talk in a mask. I shall notcarry my humility so far as to call myself a vicious man, but at thesame time must confess my life is at best but pardonable. "[3]

With his usual generosity, Steele more than once spoke in the warmestterms of the assistance rendered to him by Addison. In the preface tothe collected edition he said: "I have only one gentleman, who will benameless, to thank for any frequent assistance to me, which indeed itwould have been barbarous in him to have denied to one with whom he hadlived in an intimacy from childhood, considering the great ease withwhich he is able to despatch the most entertaining pieces of thisnature. This good office he performed with such force of genius, humour, wit, and learning that I fared like a distressed prince, who calls in apowerful neighbour to his aid; I was undone by my auxiliary; when I hadcalled him in I could not subsist without dependence on him. " And in1722, after Addison's death, in a preface to his friend's play, "TheDrummer, " Steele wrote of the _Tatler_, "That paper was advanced indeed!for it was raised to a greater thing than I intended it! For theelegance, purity, and correctness which appeared in his writings werenot so much my purpose, as (in any intelligible manner, as I could) torally all those singularities of human life, through the differentprofessions and characters in it, which obstruct anything that was trulygood and great. "

It is only fair to Steele to point out that the original idea of the_Tatler_ was entirely his own, and that he alone was responsible for theregular supply of material. Addison was in Ireland when the paper wasbegun, and did not know who was the author until several numbers hadappeared. His occasional contributions were of little importance untilafter eighty numbers had been published; and of the whole 271 numbersSteele wrote about 188 and Addison only 42, while they were jointlyresponsible for 36. Swift contributed only to about a dozen numbers; andthe assistance received from other writers was so slight that it doesnot call for notice here. Steele, unlike Addison, was probably at hisbest in the _Tatler_, where he had a freer hand, and described, in aperfectly fresh and unaffected style, the impressions of the moment. Hastily composed in coffee-house or printing-office, as they often were, and at very short notice, his papers frequently appeal to the reader ofthe present day more than the carefully elaborated and highly finishedwork of his friend, who wrote only when he found a suitable topic. Andif Addison's art is of a higher standard than Steele's, it is to Steelethat we owe Addison. A minor poet and the author of a book of travelsand of an unsuccessful opera, Addison found no opportunity for hispeculiar genius until his friend provided the means in the _Tatler_. Itis tolerably certain that he would himself never have taken thenecessary step of founding a periodical appealing to the general public;and Steele himself said with perfect truth, "I claim to myself the meritof having extorted excellent productions from a person of the greatestabilities, who would not have let them appear by any other means. "[4]

If more is said here of Steele than of Addison, it is because it isSteele whose name is most intimately connected with the _Tatler_. Thefield in which Addison shone brightest was the _Spectator_, where thewhole plan was arranged in the manner best suited to his genius. But hisinfluence is, nevertheless, visible in the development of the earlierpaper, and some of his individual articles are equal to anything heafterwards wrote. It is only necessary to mention his papers on theDistress of the News-Writers[5]; on the poetaster, Ned Softly[6]; on thepedant and "broker in learning, " Tom Folio[7]; on the PoliticalUpholsterer, who was more inquisitive to know what passed in Poland thanin his own family[8]; and on the Adventures of a Shilling. [9] His, too, are the Vision of Justice[10]; the story of a dream;[11] and the amusingaccount of the visit to London of Sir Harry Quickset, who, with hisold-world breeding, was the forerunner of Sir Roger de Coverley. [12]

Unlike the members of the Spectator's Club, the _dramatis personæ_introduced in the _Tatler_ do not occupy a very prominent place inthe development of the work. Isaac Bickerstaff himself, an old man ofsixty-four, "a philosopher, an humourist, an astrologer, and a censor, "is rather vaguely sketched, and his familiar, Pacolet, is made use ofchiefly in the earlier numbers. The occasional references to Bickerstaff'shalf-sister, Jenny Distaff, [13] and her husband, Tanquillus, and to histhree nephews and their conduct in the presence of a "beautiful woman ofhonour, "[14] gave Steele a framework for some charming sketches ofdomestic life. It is not until No. 132 that we have the amusing accountof the members of Bickerstaff's Club, the Trumpet, in Shire Lane. Therewere Sir Geoffrey Notch, a gentleman of an ancient family, who hadwasted his estate in his youth, and called every thriving man a pitifulupstart; Major Matchlock, with his reminiscences of the Civil War; DickReptile, and the Bencher who was always praising the wit of former days, and telling stories of Jack Ogle, with whom he pretended to have beenintimate in his youth. Very little use was afterwards made of thispromising material. 

The poet John Gay has given an excellent account of the workaccomplished by Steele and Addison in a pamphlet called "The PresentState of Wit" (1711). Speaking of the discontinuance of the _Tatler_, hesays: "His disappearing seemed to be bewailed as some general calamity:every one wanted so agreeable an amusement; and the coffee-houses beganto be sensible that the Esquire's Lucubrations alone had brought themmore customers than all their other newspapers put together. It must, indeed, be confessed that never man threw up his pen under strongertemptations to have employed it longer; his reputation was at a greaterheight than, I believe, ever any living author's was before him. . . . There is this noble difference between him and all the rest of ourpolite and gallant authors: the latter have endeavoured to please theage by falling in with them, and encouraging them in their fashionablevices and false notions of things. It would have been a jest some timesince, for a man to have asserted that anything witty could be said inpraise of a married state; or that devotion and virtue were any waynecessary to the character of a fine gentleman. Bickerstaff ventured totell the town that they were a parcel of fops, fools, and vaincoquettes; but in such a manner as even pleased them, and made them morethan half inclined to believe that he spoke truth. Instead of complyingwith the false sentiments or vicious tastes of the age, either inmorality, criticism, or good breeding, he has boldly assured them thatthey were altogether in the wrong, and commanded them, with an authoritywhich perfectly well became him, to surrender themselves to hisarguments for virtue and good sense. 

"It is incredible to conceive the effect his writings have had on thetown; how many thousand follies they have either quite banished, orgiven a very great check to; how much countenance they have added tovirtue and religion; how many people they have rendered happy, byshowing them it was their own fault if they were not so; and, lastly, how entirely they have convinced our fops and young fellows of the valueand advantages of learning. He has indeed rescued it out of the hands ofpedants and fools, and discovered the true method of making it amiableand lovely to all mankind. In the dress he gives it, it is a mostwelcome guest at tea-tables and assemblies, and is relished and caressedby the merchants on the 'Change; accordingly, there is not a lady atCourt, nor a banker in Lombard Street, who is not verily persuaded thatCaptain Steele is the greatest scholar and best casuist of any man inEngland. 

"Lastly, his writings have set all our wits and men of letters upon anew way of thinking, of which they had little or no notion before; andthough we cannot yet say that any of them have come up to the beautiesof the original, I think we may venture to affirm that every one of themwrites and thinks much more justly than they did some time since. "

Gay's opinion has been confirmed by the best judges of nearly twocenturies, and there is no need to labour the question of the wit andwisdom of the _Tatler_. But some examples may be cited in illustrationof the topics on which Steele and his friends wrote, and the manner inwhich they dealt with them. The very first numbers containedillustrations of most of what were to be the characteristics of thepaper. There is the account of the very pretty gentleman at White'sChocolate-house thrown into a sad condition by a passing vision of ayoung lady; the notice of Betterton's benefit performance; the commentson the war; the campaign against Partridge, with the declaration thatall who were good for nothing would be included among the deceased; thediscussion on the morality of the stage, with praise of Mrs. Bicknelland reproaches upon a young nobleman who came drunk to the play; thecomparison of the rival beauties, Chloe and Clarissa; the satire on theItalian opera, and on Pinkethman's company of strollers; and theallegorical paper on Fælicia, or Britain. All these and other mattersare dealt with in the four numbers which were distributed gratuitously;as the work progressed the principal change, besides the disappearanceof the paragraphs of news, was the development of the sustained essay onmorals or manners, and the less frequent indulgence in satire uponindividual offenders, and in personal allusions in general. This changeseems to have been the result partly of design, and partly ofcircumstances, including Addison's influence on the work. Steele himselfsaid, as we have seen, that the _Tatler_ was raised to a greater heightthan he had designed; but no doubt he realised that he must feel hisway, and be at first a tatler rather than a preacher. After some graveremarks about duelling in an early paper (No. 26), he makes Pacolet, Bickerstaff's familiar, say, "It was too soon to give my discourse onthis subject so serious a turn; you have chiefly to do with that part ofmankind which must be led into reflection by degrees, and you must treatthis custom with humour and raillery to get an audience, before you cometo pronounce sentence upon it. "

Follies and weaknesses are ridiculed in the _Tatler_ in a genialspirit, by one who was fully alive to his own imperfections, and pointis usually given to the papers by a sketch of some veiled or imaginaryindividual. In this way Bickerstaff treats of fops, [15] of wags, [16] ofcoquettes, [17] of the lady who condemned the vice of the age, meaningthe only vice of which she was not guilty;[18] of impudence;[19] and ofpride and vanity. [20] In a graver tone he attacks the practice ofduelling;[21] gamesters and sharpers;[22] drunken "roarers" and"scowrers";[23] and brutal pastimes at the Bear Garden andelsewhere. [24] The campaign against swindlers exposed Steele to seriousthreats on more than one occasion. [25]

Of what Coleridge called Steele's "pure humanity" there is nowherebetter evidence than in the _Tatler_. It is enough to cite once more thewell-known examples of the account of his father's death and hismother's grief;[26] the stories of Unnion and Valentine, [27] of theCornish lovers, [28] of Clarinda and Chloe, [29] and of Mr. Eustace, [30]and the charming account of the married happiness of an old friend, withthe pathetic picture of the death of the wife, and the grief of husbandand children. [31] In the last number Steele said, "It has been a mostexquisite pleasure to me to frame characters of domestic life"; and weknow from his letters that when he wrote of children he was onlyexpressing the deep affection which he felt for his own. Equally inadvance of his time was his respect for women, one of whom--LadyElizabeth Hastings--he has immortalised in the words, "To love her is aliberal education. "[32] In the same number he wrote, "As charity isesteemed a conjunction of the good qualities necessary to a virtuousman, so love is the happy composition of all the accomplishments thatmake a fine gentleman. " In a time of much laxity he constantly dwelt onthe happiness of marriage; "wife is the most amiable term in humanlife. "[33] But good nature must be cultivated if the married life is tobe happy, [34] and all unnecessary provocations avoided. "Dear Jenny, "says Bickerstaff to his sister, "remember me, and avoidSnap-Dragon. "[35] Women must be rightly educated before they can expectto be treated by, and to influence men as they should. [36] The make ofthe mind greatly contributes to the ornament of the body; "there is soimmediate a relation between our thoughts and gestures that a woman mustthink well to look well. "[37] The habit of scandal-mongering and otherweaknesses are the result of an improper training of the mind. [38] "Allwomen especially, " says Thackeray, "are bound to be grateful to Steele, as he was the first of our writers who really seemed to admire andrespect them. " His pity extended to the hunted deer: "I have more thanonce rode off at the death, " he says; "to be apt to shed tears is a signof a great as well as a little spirit. "[39]

Steele's teaching on morals and right living enters intimately into hisliterary criticism. His love for Shakespeare was real and intelligent;there is no formal discussion of the rules of the drama, but throughoutthe _Tatler_ there are references which show the keenest appreciationof Shakespeare's powers as poet and philosopher. "The vitiated tastes ofthe audience at the theatre could only be amended, " says Steele, "byencouraging the representation of the noble characters drawn byShakespeare and others, from whence it is impossible to return withoutstrong impressions of honour and humanity. On these occasions, distressis laid before us with all its causes and consequences, and ourresentment placed according to the merit of the persons afflicted. Weredramas of this nature more acceptable to the taste of the town, men whohave genius would bend their studies to excel in them. "[40] Still moreremarkable are the allusions to "Paradise Lost, " for Milton was then evenless appreciated than Shakespeare. As in so many other things, Addison'smore elaborate criticism in the _Spectator_ was foreshadowed in the_Tatler_ by Steele; and the comparison of passages by Milton andDryden[41] must have been very striking to the reader of that time, whousually knew Shakespeare or Chaucer only through the adaptations of Drydenor Tate. 

Though it is not true, as some have represented, that the _Tatler_ isfor the most part a mere society journal, concerned chiefly with thegossip of the day, yet its contributors made use of the scenes andevents familiar to their readers in order to bring home the kindlylessons they wished to teach; and in so doing they have given us apicture of the daily life of the town which would alone have givenlasting interest to the paper. The distinctly "moral" papers have hadcountless imitators, and sometimes therefore they are apt to pall uponus, but the social articles are at least as interesting now as when theywere written, and one of the reasons why some excellent judges haveprefered the _Tatler_ to the _Spectator_, is that there is a greaterproportion of these gossiping papers, combining wisdom with satire, andbringing before us as in a mirror the London of Queen Anne's day. Bickerstaff takes us from club to coffee-house, from St. James's to theExchange; we see the poets and wits at Will's, the politicians atWhite's, the merchants at Garraway's, the Templars at the Smyrna; we seeBetterton and the rest on the stage, and the ladies and gentlemen in thefront or side boxes; we see Pinkethman's players at Greenwich, Powell'spuppet-show, Don Saltero's Museum at Chelsea, and the bear-baiting andprize-fights at Hockley-in-the-Hole. We are taken to the Mall at St. James's, or the Ring in Hyde Park, and we study the fine ladies and thebeaux, with their red heels and their amber-headed canes suspended fromtheir waistcoats; or we follow them to Charles Lillie's, the perfumer, or to Mather's toy-shop, or to Motteux's china warehouse; or to theshops in the New Exchange, where the men bought trifles and ogled theattendants. Or yet again we watch the exposure of the sharpers andbullies, and the denunciation of others who brought even greater ruin onthose who fell into their clutches. We see the worshipping and theflirtations in the church, with Smalridge and Atterbury, Hoadly andBlackall among the preachers, and hear something of the controversiesbetween High and Low Church, Whig and Tory. We hear, too, of the warwith France, and of the hopes of peace. Steele tells us not only ofMarlborough and Prince Eugene, but of privates and non-commissionedofficers, of their lives and tragedies, of their comrades and friends. All Sergeant Hall knew of the battle was that he wished there had notbeen so many killed; he had himself a very bad shot in the head, butwould recover, if it pleased God. "To me, " says Steele, recalling hisown service as a trooper, "I take the gallantry of private soldiers toproceed from the same, if not from a nobler impulse than that ofgentlemen and officers. . . . Sergeant Hall would die ten thousand deathsrather than a word should be spoken at the Red Lattice, or any part ofthe Butcher Row, in prejudice to his courage or honesty. " His letter tohis friend was "the picture of the bravest sort of man, that is to say, a man of great courage and small hopes. "[42]

Something must be said of the events of 1710, which led to thediscontinuance of the _Tatler_. The trial of Dr. Sacheverell in Marchwas followed by the fall of the Whigs in the autumn; and in OctoberSteele lost his post of Gazetteer. Swift says it was "for writing a_Tatler_ some months ago, against Mr. Harley, who gave him the post atfirst. " There was a growing coldness between Swift and his old friends, and on the 3rd of November Swift wrote, "We have scurvy _Tatlers_ oflate, so pray do not suspect me. " On the preceding day Swift's firstpaper in the Tory _Examiner_ had been published. He still met Steelefrom time to time, and he says that he interceded for him with Harley, but was frustrated by Addison. However this may be, it is certain thatHarley saw Steele, and that as the result of their interview Steeleretained his post as Commissioner of the Stamp Office, and brought the_Tatler_ to a close on January 2, 1711, without consulting Addison. "Tosay the truth, it was time, " says Swift; "for he grew cruel dull anddry. " It is true that there is a falling off towards the close of the_Tatler_, but that it was not want of matter that brought about theabandonment of the paper is proved by the commencement only two monthslater of the _Spectator_. Steele himself said that on many accounts ithad become an irksome task to personate Mr. Bickerstaff any longer; hehad in some places touched upon matters concerning Church and State, andhe could not be cold enough to conceal his opinions. Gay tells us, in"The Present State of Wit, " that the town being generally of opinionthat Steele was quite spent as regards matter, was the more surprisedwhen the _Spectator_ appeared; people were therefore driven to acceptthe alternative view that the _Tatler_ was laid down "as a sort ofsubmission to, or composition with, the Government for some pastoffences. "

Excellent testimony to the immediate popularity of the _Tatler_ isfurnished by the fact that its successive numbers were reprinted inDublin and in Edinburgh. At least sixty-nine numbers of the Dublinissue, in quarto, were printed. The Scottish re-issue was a folio sheet, commenced about February 1710, and continued until the close of thepaper. The date of each number of the Edinburgh paper--"printed byJames Watson, and sold at his shop next door to the Red Lion, oppositeto the Lucken Booths"--is five or six days later than that of theoriginal issue; it was evidently worked off as soon as the London postcame in. Other evidence of the popularity of the _Tatler_ in theprovinces is afforded by the foundation of the "Gentleman's Society" atSpalding. Maurice Johnson, a native of Spalding and a member of theInner Temple, gives this account of the matter: "In April 1709, thatgreat genius Captain Richard Steele . . . Published the _Tatlers_, which, as they came out in half-sheets, were taken in by a gentleman, whocommunicated them to his acquaintances at the coffee-house then in theAbbey Yard; and these papers being universally approved as bothinstructive and entertaining, they ordered them to be sent down thither, with the Gazettes and Votes, for which they paid out of charity to theperson who kept the coffee-house, and they were accordingly had and readthere every post-day, generally aloud to the company, who would sit andtalk over the subject afterwards. This insensibly drew the men of senseand letters into a sociable way of conversing, and continued the nextyear, 1710, until the publication of these papers desisted, which was inDecember, to their great regret. " Afterwards the _Spectator_ was takenin, and a regular society was started in 1712, by the encouragement ofAddison, Steele, and other members of Button's Club. 

One indication of the popularity of the _Tatler_ in its own day is thelong subscription list prefixed to the reprint in four octavo volumes. Some copies were printed on "royal, " others on "medium" paper; and theprice of the former was a guinea a volume, while that of the latter washalf a guinea. There was also an authorised cheap edition, in duodecimo, at half a crown a volume, besides a pirated edition at the same price. Astill more conclusive proof of the success of the _Tatler_ was thenumber of papers started in imitation of its methods. Addison mentionedsome of those periodicals in No. 229, where details will be found of the"Female Tatler, " "Tit for Tat, " and the like. But besides these, severalspurious continuations of the _Tatler_ appeared directly after thediscontinuance of the genuine paper, including one by William Harrison, written with Swift's encouragement and assistance. But Harrison, asSwift said, had "not the true vein for it, " and his paper reached onlyto fifty-two numbers, which were afterwards reprinted as a fifth volumeto the collected edition of the original _Tatler_. Gay said thatSteele's imitators seemed to think "that what was only the garnish ofthe former _Tatlers_ was that which recommended them, and not thosesubstantial entertainments which they everywhere abound in. " The town, in the absence of anything better, welcomed their occasional and faintendeavours at humour; "but even those are at present become whollyinvisible, and quite swallowed up in the blaze of the _Spectator_. "Steele himself said that his imitators held the censorship incommission. 

[Footnote 1: No. 18. ]

[Footnote 2: No. 89. ]

[Footnote 3: No. 271. ]

[Footnote 4: _Spectator_, No. 532. ]

[Footnote 5: _Tatler_, No. 18. ]

[Footnote 6: No. 163. ]

[Footnote 7: No. 158. ]

[Footnote 8: Nos. 155, 160. ]

[Footnote 9: No. 249. ]

[Footnote 10: Nos. 100, 102. ]

[Footnote 11: No. 117. ]

[Footnote 12: No. 86. ]

[Footnote 13: No. 10. ]

[Footnote 14: No. 30. ]

[Footnote 15: No. 142. ]

[Footnote 16: No. 184. ]

[Footnote 17: No. 27. ]

[Footnote 18: No. 210. ]

[Footnote 19: No. 168. ]

[Footnote 20: Nos. 127, 186. ]

[Footnote 21: Nos. 25, 26, 29, 31, 38, 39. ]

[Footnote 22: Nos. 56, &c. ]

[Footnote 23: Nos. 40, 45. ]

[Footnote 24: No. 134. ]

[Footnote 25: See Nos. 115, 271. ]

[Footnote 26: No. 181. ]

[Footnote 27: No. 5. ]

[Footnote 28: No. 82. ]

[Footnote 29: No. 94. ]

[Footnote 30: No. 172. ]

[Footnote 31: Nos. 95, 114. ]

[Footnote 32: No. 49. ]

[Footnote 33: No. 33. ]

[Footnote 34: No. 149. ]

[Footnote 35: No. 85. See, too, No. 104. ]

[Footnote 36: Nos. 141, 248. ]

[Footnote 37: No. 212. ]

[Footnote 38: Nos, 40, 42, 47. ]

[Footnote 39: No. 68. ]

[Footnote 40: No. 8. ]

[Footnote 41: No. 6. ]

[Footnote 42: No. 87. ]

THE TATLER

THE PREFACE. [43]

In the last _Tatler_ I promised some explanation of passages and personsmentioned in this work, as well as some account of the assistances Ihave had in the performance. I shall do this in very few words; for whena man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal ina very narrow compass. I have in the dedication of the first volume mademy acknowledgments to Dr. Swift, whose pleasant writings, in the name ofBickerstaff, created an inclination in the town towards anything thatcould appear in the same disguise. I must acknowledge also, that at myfirst entering upon this work, a certain uncommon way of thinking, and aturn in conversation peculiar to that agreeable gentleman, rendered hiscompany very advantageous to one whose imagination was to be continuallyemployed upon obvious and common subjects, though at the same timeobliged to treat of them in a new and unbeaten method. His verses on theShower in Town, [44] and the Description of the Morning, [45] areinstances of the happiness of that genius, which could raise suchpleasing ideas upon occasions so barren to an ordinary invention. 

When I am upon the house of Bickerstaff, I must not forget thatgenealogy of the family sent to me by the post, and written, as I sinceunderstand, by Mr. Twysden, [46] who died at the battle of Mons, and hasa monument in Westminster Abbey, suitable to the respect which is due tohis wit and his valour. There are through the course of the work verymany incidents which were written by unknown correspondents. Of thiskind is the tale in the second _Tatler_, and the epistle from Mr. Downesthe prompter, [47] with others which were very well received by thepublic. But I have only one gentleman, [48] who will be nameless, tothank for any frequent assistance to me, which indeed it would have beenbarbarous in him to have denied to one with whom he has lived in anintimacy from childhood, considering the great ease with which he isable to dispatch the most entertaining pieces of this nature. This goodoffice he performed with such force of genius, humour, wit and learning, that I fared like a distressed prince who calls in a powerful neighbourto his aid; I was undone by my auxiliary; when I had once called him in, I could not subsist without dependence on him. 

The same hand writ the distinguishing characters of men and women underthe names of Musical Instruments, the Distress of the News-writers, theInventory of the Playhouse, and the Description of the Thermometer, [49]which I cannot but look upon as the greatest embellishments of thiswork. 

Thus far I thought necessary to say relating to the great hands whichhave been concerned in these volumes, with relation to the spirit andgenius of the work; and am far from pretending to modesty in making thisacknowledgment. What a man obtains from the good opinion and friendshipof worthy men, is a much greater honour than he can possibly reap fromany accomplishments of his own. But all the credit of wit which wasgiven me by the gentlemen above mentioned (with whom I have nowaccounted) has not been able to atone for the exceptions made against mefor some raillery in behalf of that learned advocate for the episcopacyof the Church, and the liberty of the people, Mr. Hoadly. I mention thisonly to defend myself against the imputation of being moved rather byparty than opinion;[50] and I think it is apparent, I have with theutmost frankness allowed merit wherever I found it, though joined ininterests different from those for which I have declared myself. When myFavonius[51] is acknowledged to be Dr. Smalridge, and the amiablecharacter of the dean in the sixty-sixth _Tatler_ drawn for Dr. Atterbury, I hope I need say no more as to my impartiality. 

I really have acted in these cases with honesty, and am concerned itshould be thought otherwise: for wit, if a man had it, unless it bedirected to some useful end, is but a wanton frivolous quality; all thatone should value himself upon in this kind is, that he had somehonourable intention in it. 

As for this point, never hero in romance was carried away with a morefurious ambition to conquer giants and tyrants, than I have been inextirpating gamesters and duellists. And indeed, like one of thoseknights too, though I was calm before, I am apt to fly out again, whenthe thing that first disturbed me is presented to my imagination. Ishall therefore leave off when I am well, and fight with windmills nomore: only shall be so arrogant as to say of myself, that in spite ofall the force of fashion and prejudice, in the face of all the world, Ialone bewailed the condition of an English gentleman, whose fortune andlife are at this day precarious; while his estate is liable to thedemands of gamesters, through a false sense of justice; and to thedemands of duellists, through a false sense of honour. As to the firstof these orders of men, I have not one word more to say of them: as tothe latter, I shall conclude all I have more to offer against them (withrespect to their being prompted by the fear of shame) by applying to theduellist what I think Dr. South says somewhere of the liar, "He is acoward to man, and a brave to God. "

_To_ Mr. Maynwaring. [52]

SIR, The state of conversation and business in this town having been longperplexed with pretenders in both kinds, in order to open men's eyesagainst such abuses, it appeared no unprofitable undertaking to publisha paper which should observe upon the manners of the pleasureable, aswell as the busy part of mankind. To make this generally read, it seemedthe most proper method to form it by way of a letter of intelligence, consisting of such parts as might gratify the curiosity of persons ofall conditions, and of each sex. But a work of this nature requiringtime to grow into the notice of the world, it happened very luckily, that a little before I had resolved upon this design, a gentleman[53]had written Predictions, and two or three other pieces in my name, whichhad rendered it famous through all parts of Europe; and by an inimitablespirit and humour, raised it to as high a pitch of reputation as itcould possibly arrive at. 

By this good fortune, the name of Isaac Bickerstaff gained an audienceof all who had any taste of wit, and the addition of the ordinaryoccurrences of common journals of news brought in a multitude of otherreaders. I could not, I confess, long keep up the opinion of the town, that these lucubrations were written by the same hand with the firstworks which were published under my name; but before I lost theparticipation of that author's fame, I had already found the advantageof his authority, to which I owe the sudden acceptance which my laboursmet with in the world. 

The general purpose of this paper, is to expose the false arts of life, to pull off the disguises of cunning, vanity, and affectation, andrecommend a general simplicity in our dress, our discourse, and ourbehaviour. No man has a better judgment for the discovery, or a noblerspirit for the contempt of such impostures, than your self; whichqualities render you the most proper patron for the author of theseessays. In the general, the design, however executed, has met with sogreat success, that there is hardly a name now eminent among us forpower, wit, beauty, valour, or wisdom, which is not subscribed, for theencouragement of the two volumes in octavo, on a royal or mediumpaper. [54] This is indeed an honour, for which it is impossible toexpress a suitable gratitude; and there is nothing could be an additionto the pleasure I take in it, but the reflection that it gives me themost conspicuous occasion I can ever have, of subscribing myself, Sir, Your most obliged, most obedient, and most humble Servant, ISAAC BICKERSTAFF. 

[Footnote 43: This Preface was originally prefixed to the fourth volumeof the collected edition issued in 1710-11. ]

[Footnote 44: No. 238. ]

[Footnote 45: No. 9. ]

[Footnote 46: See No. 11. ]

[Footnote 47: No. 193. ]

[Footnote 48: Addison. ]

[Footnote 49: Nos. 153, 18, 42, 220. ]

[Footnote 50: Benjamin Hoadly, afterwards Bishop of Bangor, Salisbury, and Winchester, successively, was in 1709 engaged in controversy withDr. Francis Atterbury, who represented the high-church party. GeorgeSmalridge, afterwards Bishop of Bristol, was a Jacobite. ]

[Footnote 51: See Nos. 72, 114. ]

[Footnote 52: Arthur Maynwaring was descended from the ancient family ofthe Maynwarings of Over Peover, Cheshire. He was born in 1668, atIghtfield, Shropshire, and was educated at the Shrewsbury Grammar Schooland at Christ Church, Oxford, where Smalridge was his tutor. Filled withprejudices against the Revolution, he came to London to study law, but apolitical satire which he published brought him under Dryden's notice, and the kind reception given him by several Whig statesmen, to whom hewas introduced, caused him to change his views on politics, and afterhis father's death in 1693 he gave up the law and determined to push hisfortunes at the Court. He was made a Commissioner of Customs andafterwards Auditor of the Imprests. He was admitted to the Kit-Cat Club, and in 1706 the interest of Godolphin procured him a seat in the Houseof Commons. Upon the fall of the Whig ministry in 1710, Maynwaring setup the _Medley_, a weekly paper in which the attacks of the _Examiner_were answered, and wrote various political pamphlets. But his healthsoon broke down, and he died in November, 1712. Mrs. Oldfield, theactress, was the sole executrix of his will, by which he divided hissmall property of some £3000 between her, a son that he had by her, andhis sister. There appear to have been many good points in his character. His "Life and Posthumous Works" were published by Oldmixon in 1715. "Maynwaring, whom we hear nothing of now, was the ruling man in allconversations, indeed what he wrote had very little merit in it" (Pope, in Spence's "Anecdotes, " 1820, p. 338). Steele says that Harley told himthat he had to thank Maynwaring for his post of Gazetteer. ]

[Footnote 53: Swift. ]

[Footnote 54: "Encouragement of these volumes, " in the octavo edition. The list of subscribers to the original octavo edition comprised thenames of some four hundred of the most prominent persons of the day. ]

THE TATLER

BY ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQ. 

No. 1. [STEELE. 

_Tuesday, April 12_, 1709. 

 Quicquid agunt homines . . . Nostri farrago libelli. Juv. , Sat. I. 85, 86. [55]

 * * * * *

Though the other papers which are published for the use of the goodpeople of England have certainly very wholesome effects, and arelaudable in their particular kinds, yet they do not seem to come up tothe main design of such narrations, which, I humbly presume, should beprincipally intended for the use of politic persons, who are so publicspirited as to neglect their own affairs to look into transactions ofState. Now these gentlemen, for the most part, being men of strong zealand weak intellects, it is both a charitable and necessary work to offersomething, whereby such worthy and well-affected members of thecommonwealth may be instructed, after their reading, what to think;which shall be the end and purpose of this my paper: wherein I shallfrom time to time report and consider all matters of what kind soeverthat shall occur to me, and publish such my advices and reflectionsevery Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday in the week for the convenienceof the post. [56] I have also resolved to have something which may be ofentertainment to the fair sex, in honour of whom I have taken the titleof this paper. I therefore earnestly desire all persons, withoutdistinction, to take it in for the present gratis, and hereafter at theprice of one penny, forbidding all hawkers to take more for it at theirperil. And I desire my readers to consider, that I am at a very greatcharge for proper materials for this work, as well as that before Iresolved upon it, I had settled a correspondence in all parts of theknown and knowing world. And forasmuch as this globe is not trodden uponby mere drudges of business only, but that men of spirit and genius arejustly to be esteemed as considerable agents in it, we shall not, upon adearth of news, present you with musty foreign edicts, or dullproclamations, but shall divide our relation of the passages which occurin action or discourse throughout this town, as well as elsewhere, undersuch dates of places as may prepare you for the matter you are toexpect, in the following manner:

All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment, shall be underthe article of White's Chocolate-house;[57] poetry, under that of Will'sCoffee-house;[58] learning, under the title of Grecian;[59] foreign anddomestic news, you will have from St. James's Coffee-house;[60] and whatelse I shall on any other subject offer, shall be dated from my ownapartment. 

I once more desire my readers to consider that as I cannot keep aningenious man to go daily to Will's under twopence each day merelyfor his charges, [61] to White's under sixpence, nor to the Grecianwithout allowing him some plain Spanish, [62] to be as able as others atthe learned table; and that a good observer cannot speak with evenKidney[63] at St. James's without clean linen; I say, theseconsiderations will, I hope, make all persons willing to comply with myhumble request (when my gratis stock is exhausted) of a penny a piece;especially since they are sure of some proper amusement, and that it isimpossible for me to want means to entertain them, having, besides thehelps of my own parts, the power of divination, and that I can, bycasting a figure, tell you all that will happen before it comes to pass. 

But this last faculty I shall use very sparingly, and not speak ofanything until it is passed, for fear of divulging matters which mayoffend our superiors. [64]

White's Chocolate-house, April 11. 

The deplorable condition of a very pretty gentleman, who walks here atthe hours when men of quality first appear, is what is very muchlamented. His history is, that on the 9th of September, 1705, being inhis one and twentieth year, he was washing his teeth at a tavern windowin Pall Mall, when a fine equipage passed by, and in it a young lady, who looked up at him; away goes the coach, and the young gentlemanpulled off his nightcap, and instead of rubbing his gums, as he ought todo out of the window till about four o'clock, he sits him down, andspoke not a word till twelve at night; after which, he began to inquire, if anybody knew the lady. The company asked, "What lady?" But he said nomore until they broke up at six in the morning. All the ensuing winterhe went from church to church every Sunday, and from play-house toplay-house all the week, but could never find the original of thepicture which dwelt in his bosom. In a word, his attention to anythingbut his passion, was utterly gone. He has lost all the money he everplayed for, and been confuted in every argument he has entered uponsince the moment he first saw her. He is of a noble family, hasnaturally a very good air, and is of a frank, honest temper: but thispassion has so extremely mauled him, that his features are set anduninformed, and his whole visage is deadened by a long absence ofthought. He never appears in any alacrity, but when raised by wine; atwhich time he is sure to come hither, and throw away a great deal of witon fellows, who have no sense further than just to observe, that ourpoor lover has most understanding when he is drunk, and is least in hissenses when he is sober. [65]

Will's Coffee-house, April 8. 

On Thursday last[66] was presented, for the benefit of Mr. Betterton, [67] the celebrated comedy, called "Love for Love. "[68] Thoseexcellent players, Mrs. Barry, [69] Mrs. Bracegirdle, [70] and Mr. Doggett, [71] though not at present concerned in the house, acted on thatoccasion. There has not been known so great a concourse of persons ofdistinction as at that time; the stage itself was covered with gentlemenand ladies, and when the curtain was drawn, it discovered even there avery splendid audience. This unusual encouragement, which was given to aplay for the advantage of so great an actor, gives an undeniableinstance, that the true relish for manly entertainments and rationalpleasures is not wholly lost. All the parts were acted to perfection;the actors were careful of their carriage, and no one was guilty of theaffectation to insert witticisms of his own, but a due respect was hadto the audience, for encouraging this accomplished player. It is not nowdoubted but plays will revive, and take their usual place in the opinionof persons of wit and merit, notwithstanding their late apostacy infavour of dress and sound. This place is very much altered since Mr. Dryden frequented it; where you used to see songs, epigrams, and satiresin the hands of every man you met, you have now only a pack of cards;and instead of the cavils about the turn of the expression, the eleganceof the style, and the like, the learned now dispute only about the truthof the game. But, however the company is altered, all have shown a greatrespect for Mr. Betterton: and the very gaming part of this house havebeen so much touched with a sense of the uncertainty of human affairs(which alter with themselves every moment) that in this gentleman, theypitied Mark Antony of Rome, Hamlet of Denmark, Mithridates of Pontus, Theodosius of Greece, and Henry the Eighth of England. It is well knownhe has been in the condition of each of those illustrious personages forseveral hours together, and behaved himself in those high stations, inall the changes of the scene, with suitable dignity. For these reasons, we intend to repeat this favour to him on a proper occasion, lest he whocan instruct us so well in personating feigned sorrows, should be lostto us by suffering under real ones. The town is at present in very greatexpectation of seeing a comedy now in rehearsal, which is thetwenty-fifth production of my honoured friend Mr. Thomas D'Urfey;[72]who, besides his great abilities in the dramatic, has a peculiar talentin the lyric way of writing, and that with a manner wholly new andunknown to the ancient Greeks and Romans, wherein he is but faintlyimitated in the translations of the modern Italian operas. [73]

St. James's Coffee-house, April 11. 

Letters from the Hague of the 16th say, that Major-General Cadogan[74]was gone to Brussels, with orders to disperse proper instructions forassembling the whole force of the allies in Flanders in the beginning ofthe next month. [75] The late offers concerning peace were made in thestyle of persons who think themselves upon equal terms. But the allieshave so just a sense of their present advantages, that they will notadmit of a treaty, except France offers what is more suitable to herpresent condition. At the same time we make preparations, as if we werealarmed by a greater force than that which we are carrying into thefield. Thus this point seems now to be argued sword in hand. This waswhat a great general[76] alluded to, when being asked the names of thosewho were to be plenipotentiaries for the ensuing peace, answered, with aserious air, "There are about a hundred thousand of us. " Mr. Kidney, whohas the ear of the greatest politicians that come hither, tells me, there is a mail come in to-day with letters, dated Hague, April 19, N. S. , which say, a design of bringing part of our troops into the fieldat the latter end of this month, is now altered to a resolution ofmarching towards the camp about the 20th of the next. There happened theother day, in the road of Scheveling, an engagement between a privateerof Zealand and one of Dunkirk. The Dunkirker, carrying 33 pieces ofcannon, was taken and brought into the Texel. It is said, the courier ofMonsieur Rouillé[77] is returned to him from the Court of France. Monsieur Vendôme being reinstated in the favour of the Duchess ofBurgundy, is to command in Flanders. 

Mr. Kidney added, that there were letters of the 17th from Ghent, whichgive an account, that the enemy had formed a design to surprise twobattalions of the allies which lay at Alost; but those battalionsreceived advice of their march, and retired to Dendermond. Lieutenant-General Wood[78] appeared on this occasion at the head of5000 foot, and 1000 horse, upon which the enemy withdrew, without makingany further attempt. 

From my own Apartment. 

I am sorry I am obliged to trouble the public with so much discourseupon a matter which I at the very first mentioned as a trifle--viz. Thedeath of Mr. Partridge, [79] under whose name there is an almanack comeout for the year 1709, in one page of which it is asserted by the saidJohn Partridge, that he is still living, and that not only so, but thathe was also living some time before, and even at the instant when I writof his death. I have in another place, and in a paper by itself, sufficiently convinced this man that he is dead, and if he has anyshame, I don't doubt but that by this time he owns it to all hisacquaintance: for though the legs and arms, and whole body of that manmay still appear and perform their animal functions; yet since, as Ihave elsewhere observed, his art is gone, the man is gone. I am, as Isaid, concerned, that this little matter should make so much noise; butsince I am engaged, I take myself obliged in honour to go on in mylucubrations, and by the help of these arts of which I am master, aswell as my skill in astrological speculations, I shall, as I seeoccasion, proceed to confute other dead men, who pretend to be in being, that they are actually deceased. I therefore give all men fair warningto mend their manners, for I shall from time to time print bills ofmortality; and I beg the pardon of all such who shall be named therein, if they who are good for nothing shall find themselves in the number ofthe deceased. [80]

[Footnote 55: This motto was repeated at the head of each of the first40 numbers in the folio issue. ]

[Footnote 56: These were the days on which the post left London for thedifferent parts of the country. ]

[Footnote 57: White's Chocolate-house, five doors from the bottom of thewest side of St. James's Street, was established in 1698. It was burnton April 28, 1733, while kept by Mr. Arthur. Plate VI. Of Hogarth's"Rake's Progress" depicts gamblers engrossed in play in a room in thishouse during the fire; see also Plate IV. Swift gives it a bad characterin his "Essay on Modern Education;" it had a strong character forgambling (Timbs's "Clubs and Club Life in London, " where, at p. 48, there is a sketch of White's from an old drawing). The house became aprivate club, as we now have it, about 1736. ]

[Footnote 58: Will's Coffee-house, named after Will Urwin, itsproprietor, was the corner house on the north side of Russell Street, Covent Garden, at the end of Bow Street. The present house, 21 RussellStreet, is probably part of the old building. Will's was ceasing to bethe resort of the wits in 1709; it was in its glory at the close of theseventeenth century. The wits' room, where Dryden presided, was on thefirst floor. ]

[Footnote 59: The Grecian, in Devereux Court in the Strand, was probablythe most ancient coffee-house in or about London. In 1652 an EnglishTurkey merchant brought home with him a Greek servant, who first openeda house for making and selling coffee. This man's name was Constantine, and his house was much resorted to by lawyers, Greek scholars, andMembers of the Royal Society. (See Thoresby's Diary, i. 111, 117. ) Footeand Goldsmith afterwards frequented it. In Dr. King's "Anecdotes" thereis a story of two gentlemen friends who disputed at the GrecianCoffee-house about the accent of a Greek word to such a length that theywent out into Devereux Court and drew swords, when one of them waskilled on the spot. ]

[Footnote 60: The St. James's Coffee-house was the last house but one onthe S. W. Corner of St. James's Street. It was frequented by Whigstatesmen, and was closed about 1806. Swift and Steele were at a suppergiven by the keeper on the 19th November, 1710. ]

[Footnote 61: Cf. The _Spectator_, No. 31: "Laying down my penny uponthe bar. "]

[Footnote 62: Wine. ]

[Footnote 63: A waiter. See Nos. 10, 26. ]

[Footnote 64: This introduction was repeated in Nos. 2 and 3 of theoriginal issue. ]

[Footnote 65: "The reader is desired to take notice of the article fromthis place from time to time, for I design to be very exact in theprogress this unhappy gentleman makes, which may be of great instructionto all who actually are, or who ever shall be, in love. " (Originalfolio. ) For Viscount Hinchinbroke ("Cynthio"), see No. 5. ]

[Footnote 66: April 7, 1709. Cibber acknowledges that Steele did thestage very considerable service by the papers on the theatre in the_Tatler_. ]

[Footnote 67: For further particulars of Thomas Betterton (1635-1710), see Nos. 71 and 167. Cibber says: "I never heard a line in tragedy comefrom Betterton wherein my judgment, my ear and my imagination were notfully satisfied. . . . The person of this excellent actor was suitable tohis voice, more manly than sweet, not exceeding the middle stature, inclining to be corpulent; of a serious and penetrating aspect; hislimbs nearer the athletic than the delicate proportion; yet, howeverformed, there arose from the harmony of the whole a commanding mien ofmajesty. "]

[Footnote 68: By Congreve, 1695. ]

[Footnote 69: Mrs. Elizabeth Barry on this occasion spoke an epilogue, written by Rowe. She was the daughter of Edward Barry, barrister, whosefortunes were ruined by his attachment to Charles I. Tony Aston, in his"Supplement to Cibber's Apology, " says she was woman to Lady Shelton, ofNorfolk, his godmother; and Curll tells us that she was early takenunder the protection of Lady Davenant. She was certainly on the stage in1673. At her first appearance there was so little hope of her success, that at the end of the season she was discharged [from] the theatre. Itis probable that at this time she became acquainted with Lord Rochester, who took her under his protection, and gave her instructions in hertheatrical performances. By his interest she seems to have been restoredto the stage, and, improving daily in her profession, she soon eclipsedall her competitors, and in the part of Monimia in "The Orphan"established her reputation, which was enhanced by her performance asBelvidera in "Venice Preserved, " and as Isabella in "The FatalMarriage. " "In characters of greatness, " says Cibber, "Mrs. Barry had apresence of elevated dignity, her mien and motion superb, and gracefullymajestic; her voice full, clear, and strong, so that no violence ofpassion could be too much for her, and when distress or tendernesspossessed her she subsided into the most affecting melody and softness. In the art of exciting pity she had a power beyond all the actresses Ihave yet seen, or what your imagination can conceive. In scenes ofanger, defiance, or resentment, while she was impetuous and terrible, she poured out the sentiment with an enchanting harmony. . . . In tragedyshe was solemn and august, in comedy alert, easy, and genteel, pleasantin her face and action, filling the stage with a variety of gesture. Shecould neither sing nor dance, no not in a country dance. She adhered toBetterton in all the revolutions of the theatre, which she quitted about1707, on account of ill-health. " She returned, however, for one nightwith Mrs. Bracegirdle, April 7, 1709, and performed Mrs. Frail in "Lovefor Love" for Betterton's benefit. She died at Acton in 1713. Mrs. Barry, Mrs. Bracegirdle, Mr. Betterton, and Mr. Varbriggen were sworn asComedians in Ordinary to her Majesty, 30th Oct. , 2 Anne (1703). On the3rd March, 1692, Mrs. Barry received £25 for acting in "The Orphan"before their Majesties, and on the 10th June, 1693, £25 for CaiusMarius. (Lord Chamberlain's Records, Warrant Books, No. 20, p. 151; No. 18, pp. 30, 242. )]

[Footnote 70: Mrs. Anne Bracegirdle was the daughter of JustinianBracegirdle, of Northamptonshire. By the imprudence of her father, whoruined himself by becoming surety for some friends, she was early leftto the care of Betterton and his wife, whose attentions to her shealways acknowledged to be truly paternal. By them she was firstintroduced to the stage, and, while very young, performed the page in"The Orphan. " Increasing in years, and in ability, she became thefavourite performer of the times. Cibber describes her in these terms:"Mrs. Bracegirdle was now but just blooming in her maturity; herreputation, as an actress, gradually rising with that of her person;never any woman was in such general favour of her spectators, which, tothe last scene of her dramatic life, she maintained by not beingunguarded in her private character. This discretion contributed not alittle to make her the _Cara_, the darling of the theatre: for it willbe no extravagant thing to say scarce an audience saw her that were lessthan half of them lovers, without a suspected favourite among them: andthough she might be said to have been the universal passion and underthe highest temptations, her constancy in resisting them served but toincrease the number of her admirers. And this perhaps you will moreeasily believe, when I extend not my encomiums on her person beyond asincerity that can be suspected; for she had no greater claim to beautythan what the most desirable brunette might pretend to. But her youthand lively aspect threw out such a glow of health and cheerfulness, that, on the stage, few spectators that were not past it, could beholdher without desire. There were two very different characters in whichshe acquitted herself with uncommon applause: if anything could excusethat desperate extravagance of love, that almost frantic passion ofLee's Alexander the Great, it must have been when Mrs. Bracegirdle washis Statira: as when she acted Millamant, all the faults, follies, andaffectation of that agreeable tyrant were venially melted down into somany charms and attractions of a conscious beauty. " In the theatricaldisputes of the times, she adhered to her benefactor Betterton, andcontinued to perform with applause until 1707, when, on the preferencebeing given to Mrs. Oldfield in a contention between that actress andMrs. Bracegirdle, she left the stage, except for one night, when shereturned with Mrs. Barry to the theatre, and performed Angelica forBetterton's benefit (the performance described in this number). She diedin 1748. ]

[Footnote 71: Thomas Doggett died in 1721. In 1695 he created thecharacter of Ben in Congreve's "Love for Love. " Afterwards he wasassociated with Steele in the management of Drury Lane Theatre. ]

[Footnote 72: D'Urfey's "Modern Prophets" was produced in 1709. ThomasD'Urfey died in 1723, aged 70, leaving Steele a watch and chain, whichhis friend wore at the funeral. He wrote many plays and songs. See alsoNos. 11, 43. ]

[Footnote 73: See No. 4. ]

[Footnote 74: William, First Earl Cadogan (1675-1726), was an ableofficer who took a very prominent part in Marlborough's campaigns. InJanuary, 1709, he was made lieutenant-general, and he was dangerouslywounded at the siege of Mons. He was appointed Lieutenant of the Towerof London in December. ]

[Footnote 75: The news-paragraphs in the earlier numbers of the _Tatler_are here preserved for the sake of completeness, but for the most partthe details recorded are not of permanent interest, and do not call forcomment. The reader may be reminded generally that in the spring of 1709the French, after the battle of Oudenarde and the fall of Lille, followed by a very severe winter, were driven to think of terms ofpeace. The negotiations, however, fell through for the time, and thecampaign was begun in the Netherlands, where Marlborough and PrinceEugene had an army of 110, 000 men. The French were entrenched underVillars between Douay and Béthune, and were strengthened by part of thegarrison of Tournay. Marlborough seized the opportunity of attacking thehalf-defended town, which was obliged to surrender on July 29, after asiege of nineteen days. The French then made a great effort, and broughtan army of 100, 000 men into the field, with the result that the battleof Malplaquet (Sept. 11) was a very bloody and hard-earned victory forthe allies. The subsequent fall of Mons brought the campaign to aclose. ]

[Footnote 76: Marlborough. ]

[Footnote 77: A merchant entrusted by Lewis XIV. To negotiate terms ofpeace with the Dutch. ]

[Footnote 78: General Wood played a distinguished part in the battles ofDonauwerth (1704) and Ramilies (1706). ]

[Footnote 79: See the Introduction. ]

[Footnote 80: "A Vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , against what isobjected to him by Mr. Partridge in his Almanack for the present year1709. By the said Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , London, printed in the year1709. " (Advertisement in folio issue. ) In a pamphlet called "Predictionsfor the Year 1712. By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. ; in a Letter to the authorof the Oxford Almanack. Printed in the year 1712, " this "Vindication" isthus noticed: "I can't but express my resentment against a gentleman whopersonated me in a paper called 'Mr. Bickerstaff's Vindication. ' I'mgrieved to find the times should be so very wicked, that one impostorshould set up to reform another, and that a false Bickerstaff shouldwrite against an imaginary Partridge. And I am heartily concerned thatone who shows so much wit, such extreme civility, and writes such agentlemanlike style, should prefix my name to writings in which thereappears so little solidity and no knowledge of the Arabian philosophy. If this paper should be transmitted to posterity (as, perhaps, it mighthave been by the authority of the name it wears in the front) it mighthave been a lasting reflection upon me to the end of the world. . . . Tillseeing four volumes of writings--the collected edition of the_Tatler_--pretended to be mine, and a serious philosopher's nameprefixed to papers as free from my solidity as they are full of wit, Ithought it high time to vindicate myself, and give the world a taste ofmy writings; for I am now persuaded 'twill be more for my reputation toconvince than to despise mankind. "]

No. 2. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, April 12_, to _Thursday, April 14_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, April 13. 

There has lain all this evening, on the table, the following poem. Thesubject of it being matter very useful for families, I thought itdeserved to be considered, and made more public. The turn the poet[81]gives it is very happy; but the foundation is from a real accidentwhich happened among my acquaintance. [82] A young gentleman of a greatestate fell desperately in love with a great beauty of very highquality, but as ill-natured as long flattery and an habitual self-willcould make her. However, my young spark ventures upon her, like a man ofquality, without being acquainted with her, or having ever saluted her, till it was a crime to kiss any woman else. Beauty is a thing whichpalls with possession; and the charms of this lady soon wanted thesupport of good humour and complaisancy of manners. Upon this my sparkflies to the bottle for relief from his satiety. She disdains him forbeing tired with that for which all men envied him; and he never camehome, but it was: "Was there no sot that would stay longer? Would anyman living but you? Did I leave all the world for this usage?" To whichhe: "Madam, split me, you are very impertinent!" In a word, this matchwas wedlock in its most terrible appearances. She, at last weary ofrailing to no purpose, applies to a good uncle, who gives her a bottleof water. "The virtue of this powerful liquor, " said he, "is such, thatif the woman you marry proves a scold (which, it seems, my dear niece, is your misfortune, as it was your good mother's before you), let herhold six spoonfuls in her mouth, for a full half hour after you comehome--" But I find I am not in humour for telling a tale, and nothing innature is so ungrateful as story-telling against the grain, thereforetake it as the author has given it you. 

The MEDECINE. 

#A Tale--for the Ladies. #

 Miss Molly, a famed toast, was fair and young, Had wealth and charms, but then she had a tongue From morn to night, the eternal larum run, Which often lost those hearts her eyes had won. 

 Sir John was smitten, and confessed his flame, Sighed out the usual time, then wed the dame: Possessed he thought of every joy of life, But his dear Molly proved a very wife. Excess of fondness did in time decline, Madam loved money, and the knight loved wine. From whence some petty discords would arise, As, "You're a fool"; and, "You are mighty wise!"

 Though he and all the world allowed her wit, Her voice was shrill, and rather loud than sweet, When she began, --for hat and sword he'd call. Then, after a faint kiss, cry, "B'y, dear Moll: Supper and friends expect me at the Rose. "[83] And, "What, Sir John, you'll get your usual dose! Go, stink of smoke, and guzzle nasty wine, Sure, never virtuous love was used like mine!"

 Oft as the watchful bellman marched his round, At a fresh bottle gay Sir John he found. By four the knight would get his business done, And only then reeled off, because alone; Full well he knew the dreadful storm to come, But armed with bordeaux, he durst venture home. 

 My lady with her tongue was still prepared, She rattled loud, and he impatient heard: "'Tis a fine hour? In a sweet pickle made! And this, Sir John, is every day the trade. Here I sit moping all the live-long night, Devoured with spleen, and stranger to delight; 'Till morn sends staggering home a drunken beast, Resolved to break my heart, as well as rest. "

 "Hey! Hoop! d'ye hear my damned obstreperous spouse! What, can't you find one bed about the house! Will that perpetual clack lie never still! That rival to the softness of a mill! Some couch and distant room must be my choice, Where I may sleep uncursed with wife and noise. "

 Long this uncomfortable life they led, With snarling meals, and each, a separate bed. To an old uncle oft she would complain, Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain. Old Wisewood smoked the matter as it was, "Cheer up!" cried he, "and I'll remove the cause. 

 "A wonderous spring within my garden flows, Of sovereign virtue, chiefly to compose Domestic jars, and matrimonial strife, The best elixir t' appease man and wife; Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine, 'Tis water called, but worth its weight in wine. If in his sullen airs Sir John should come, Three spoonfuls take, hold in your mouth--then mum: Smile, and look pleased, when he shall rage and scold, Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold; One month this sympathetic medecine tried, He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride. But, dearest niece, keep this grand secret close, Or every prattling hussy'll beg a dose. "

 A water-bottle's brought for her relief, Not Nantz could sooner ease the lady's grief: Her busy thoughts are on the trial bent, And female-like, impatient for th' event:

 The bonny knight reels home exceeding clear, Prepared for clamour, and domestic war. Entering, he cries, "Hey! where's our thunder fled? No hurricane! Betty, 's your lady dead?" Madam, aside, an ample mouthful takes, Curtsies, looks kind, but not a word she speaks: Wondering, he stared, scarcely his eyes believed, But found his ears agreeably deceived. "Why, how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now?" She smiles, and answers only with a bow. Then clasping her about, --"Why, let me die! These nightclothes, Moll, become thee mightily!" With that, he sighed, her hand began to press, And Betty calls, her lady to undress; "Nay, kiss me, Molly, for I'm much inclined. " Her lace she cuts, to take him in the mind. Thus the fond pair to bed enamoured went, The lady pleased, and the good knight content. 

 For many days these fond endearments passed, The reconciling bottle fails at last; 'Twas used and gone: Then midnight storms arose, And looks and words the union discompose. Her coach is ordered, and post-haste she flies, To beg her uncle for some fresh supplies; Transported does the strange effects relate, Her knight's conversion, and her happy state!

 "Why, niece, " says he, "I prithee apprehend The water's water. Be thyself thy friend; Such beauty would the coldest husband warm, But your provoking tongue undoes the charm: Be silent, and complying; you'll soon find, Sir John, without a medecine, will be kind. "

St. James's Coffee-house, April 13. 

Letters from Venice say, the disappointment of their expectation to seehis Danish Majesty, has very much disquieted the Court of Rome. Our lastadvices from Germany inform us, that the minister of Hanover has urgedthe council at Ratisbon to exert themselves in behalf of the commoncause, and taken the liberty to say, that the dignity, the virtue, theprudence of his electoral highness, his master, were called to the headof their affairs in vain, if they thought fit to leave him naked of theproper means to make those excellences useful for the honour and safetyof the Empire. They write from Berlin of the 13th, O. S. , that the truedesign of General Fleming's visit to that Court was, to insinuate, thatit will be for the mutual interest of the King of Prussia and KingAugustus to enter into a new alliance; but that the ministers of Prussiaare not inclined to his sentiments. We hear from Vienna, that hisImperial Majesty has expressed great satisfaction in their highmightinesses having communicated to him the whole that has passed in theaffair of a peace. Though there have been practices used by the agentsof France, in all the Courts of Europe, to break the good understandingof the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all themembers concerned in the alliance, more doubtful of their safety fromthe great offers of the enemy. The Empire is roused by this alarm, andthe frontiers of all the French dominions are in danger of beinginsulted the ensuing campaign: advices from all parts confirm, that itis impossible for France to find a way to obtain so much credit, as togain any one potentate of the allies, or make any hope for safety fromother prospects. 

From my own Apartment, April 13. 

I find it of very great use, now I am setting up for a writer of news, that I am an adept in astrological speculations; by which means, I avoidspeaking of things which may offend great persons. But at the same time, I must not prostitute the liberal sciences so far, as not to utter thetruth in cases which do not immediately concern the good of my nativecountry. I must therefore boldly contradict what has been so assuredlyreported by the news-writers of England, that France is in the mostdeplorable condition, and that their people die in great multitudes. Iwill therefore let the world know, that my correspondent, by the way ofBrussels, informs me, upon his honour, that the gentleman who writes theGazette of Paris, and ought to know as well as any man, has told him, that ever since the king has been past his 63rd year, or grandclimacteric, there has not one man died of the French nation who wasyounger than his Majesty, except a very few, who were taken suddenlynear the village of Hochsted[84] in Germany; and some more, who werestraitened for lodging at a place called Ramilies, and died on the roadto Ghent and Bruges. There are also other things given out by theallies, which are shifts below a conquering nation to make use of. Amongothers, 'tis said, there is a general murmuring among the people ofFrance, though at the same time all my letters agree, that there is sogood an understanding among them, that there is not one morsel carriedout of any market in the kingdom, but what is delivered upon credit. 

[Footnote 81: William Harrison (1685-1713) was a favourite with Swiftand Addison. He wrote verses, and a continuation of the _Tatler_, andafterwards obtained office in the diplomatic service; but his healthsoon broke down, and he died when 28. ]

[Footnote 82: There is a similar story in Burton's "Anatomy ofMelancholy. "]

[Footnote 83: The Rose Tavern, in Russell Street, adjoined Drury LaneTheatre, and was a favourite resort during and after the play. ]

[Footnote 84: The Battle of Blenheim. ]

No. 3. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, April 14_, to _Saturday, April 16_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, April 14. 

This evening, the comedy called "The Country Wife"[85] was acted inDrury Lane, for the benefit of Mrs. Bignell. [86] The part which givesname to the play was performed by herself. Through the whole action, shemade a very pretty figure, and exactly entered into the nature of thepart. Her husband in the drama, is represented to be one of thosedebauchees who run through the vices of the town, and believe when theythink fit they can marry, and settle at their ease. His own knowledge ofthe iniquity of the age, makes him choose a wife wholly ignorant of it, and place his security in her want of skill how to abuse him. The poet, on many occasions, where the propriety of the character will admit ofit, insinuates, that there is no defence against vice, but the contemptof it: and has, in the natural ideas of an untainted innocent, shown thegradual steps to ruin and destruction, which persons of condition runinto, without the help of a good education how to form their conduct. The torment of a jealous coxcomb, which arises from his own falsemaxims, and the aggravation of his pain, by the very words in which hesees her innocence, makes a very pleasant and instructive satire. Thecharacter of Horner, and the design of it, is a good representation ofthe age in which that comedy was written; at which time love andwenching were the business of life, and the gallant manner of pursuingwomen was the best recommendation at Court. To which only it is to beimputed, that a gentleman of Mr. Wycherley's character and sense, condescends to represent the insults done to the honour of the bed, without just reproof; but to have drawn a man of probity with regard tosuch considerations, had been a monster, and a poet had at that timediscovered his want of knowing the manners of the Court he lived in, bya virtuous character in his fine gentleman, as he would show hisignorance, by drawing a vicious one to please the present audience. Mrs. Bignell did her part very happily, and had a certain grace in herrusticity, which gave us hopes of seeing her a very skilful player, andin some parts, supply our loss of Mrs. Verbruggen. [87] I cannot be ofthe same opinion with my friends and fellow-labourers, the Reformers ofManners, [88] in their severity towards plays, but must allow that a goodplay acted before a well-bred audience, must raise very properincitements to good behaviour, and be the most quick and most prevailingmethod of giving young people a turn of sense and breeding. But as Ihave set up for a weekly historian, I resolve to be a faithful one; andtherefore take this public occasion to admonish a young nobleman, whocame flustered into the box last night, and let him know, how much allhis friends were out of countenance for him. The women sat in terror ofhearing something that should shock their modesty, and all the gentlemenin as much pain, out of compassion to the ladies, and perhaps resentmentfor the indignity which was offered in coming into their presence in sodisrespectful a manner. Wine made him say nothing that was rude, therefore he is forgiven, upon condition he will never hazard hisoffending more in this kind. As I just now hinted, I own myself of theSociety for Reformation of Manners. We have lower instruments than thoseof the family of Bickerstaff, for punishing great crimes, and exposingthe abandoned. Therefore, as I design to have notices from all publicassemblies, I shall take upon me only indecorums, improprieties, andnegligences, in such as should give us better examples. After thisdeclaration, if a fine lady thinks fit to giggle at church, or a greatbeau come in drunk to a play, either shall be sure to hear of it in myensuing paper: for merely as a well-bred man, I cannot bear theseenormities. 

After the play, we naturally stroll to this coffee-house, in hopes ofmeeting some new poem, or other entertainment, among the men of wit andpleasure, where there is a dearth at present. But it is wonderful thereshould be so few writers, when the art is become merely mechanic, andmen may make themselves great that way, by as certain and infalliblerules, as you may be a joiner or a mason. There happens a good instanceof this, in what the hawker just now has offered to sale; to wit, "Instructions to Vanderbank; a Sequel to the Advice to the Poets: APoem, occasioned by the Glorious Success of her Majesty's Arms, underthe Command of the Duke of Marlborough, the last Year in Flanders. "[89]Here you are to understand, that the author finding the poets would nottake his advice, he troubles himself no more about them; but has metwith one Vanderbank, [90] who works in arras, and makes very goodtapestry hangings. Therefore, in order to celebrate the hero of the age, he claps me together all that can be said of a man that makes hangings, as:

 _Then, artist, who dost Nature's face express In silk and gold, and scenes of action dress; Dost figured arras animated leave, Spin a bright story, or a passion weave By mingling threads; canst mingle shade and light, Delineate triumphs, or describe a fight. _

Well, what shall this workman do? Why, to show how great an hero thepoet intends, he provides him a very good horse:

 _Champing his foam, and bounding on the plain, Arch his high neck, and graceful spread his mane. _

Now as to the intrepidity, the calm courage, the constant application ofthe hero, it is not necessary to take that upon yourself; you may, inthe lump, bid him you employ raise him as high as he can, and if he doesit not, let him answer for disobeying orders:

 _Let fame and victory in inferior sky, Hover with ballanced wings, and smiling fly Above his head, &c. _

A whole poem of this kind may be ready against an ensuing campaign, aswell as a space left in the canvas of a piece of tapestry for theprincipal figure, while the underparts are working: so that in effect, the adviser copies after the man he pretends to direct. This methodshould, methinks, encourage young beginners: for the invention is sofitted to all capacities, that by the help of it a man may make areceipt for a poem. A young man may observe, that the jig[91] of thething is, as I said, finding out all that can be said of his way [whom]you employ to set forth your worthy. Waller and Denham had worn out theexpedient of "Advice to a Painter. "[92] This author has transferred thework, and sent his advice to the Poets; that is to say, to the turnersof verse, as he calls them. Well, that thought is worn out also, therefore he directs his genius to the loom, and will have a new set ofhangings in honour of the last year in Flanders. I must own to you, Iapprove extremely this invention, and it might be improved for thebenefit of manufactory: as, suppose an ingenious gentleman should writea poem of advice to a calico-printer: do you think there is a girl inEngland, that would wear anything but the taking of Lille, or the Battleof Oudenarde? They would certainly be all the fashion, till the heroesabroad had cut out some more patterns. I should fancy small skirmishesmight do for under-petticoats, provided they had a siege for the upper. If our adviser were well imitated, many industrious people might be putto work. Little Mr. Dactile, now in the room, who formerly writ a songand a half, is a week gone in a very pretty work upon this hint: he iswriting an epigram to a young virgin who knits very well ('tis athousand pities he is a Jacobite); but his epigram is by way of adviceto this damsel, to knit all the actions of the Pretender and the Duke ofBurgundy last campaign in the clock of a stocking. It were endless toenumerate the many hands and trades that may be employed by poets, of souseful a turn as this adviser's. I shall think of it; and in this timeof taxes, shall consult a great critic employed in the custom-house, inorder to propose what tax may be proper to put upon knives, seals, rings, hangings, wrought-beds, gowns and petticoats, where any of thosecommodities bear mottoes, or are worked upon poetical grounds. 

St. James's Coffee-house, April 15. 

Letters from Turin of the 3rd instant, N. S. , inform us, that his RoyalHighness employs all his address in alarming the enemy, and perplexingtheir speculations concerning his real designs the ensuing campaign. Contracts are entered into with the merchants of Milan, for a greatnumber of mules to transport his provisions and ammunition. His RoyalHighness has ordered the train of artillery to be conveyed to Susabefore the 20th of the next month. In the meantime, all accounts agree, that the enemy are very backward in their preparations, and almostincapable of defending themselves against an invasion, by reason of thegeneral murmurs of their own people; which, they find, are no way to bequieted, but by giving them hopes of a speedy peace. When these letterswere dispatched, the Marshal de Thesse was arrived at Genoa, where hehas taken much pains to keep the correspondents of the merchants ofFrance in hopes, that measures will be found out to support the creditand commerce between that state and Lyons. But the late declaration ofthe agents of Monsieur Bernard, that they cannot discharge the demandsmade upon them, has quite dispirited all those who are engaged in theremittances of France. 

From my own Apartment, April 15. 

It is a very natural passion in all good members of the commonwealth, totake what care they can of their families. Therefore I hope the readerwill forgive me, that I desire he would go to the play, called the"Stratagem, "[93] this evening, which is to be acted for the benefit ofmy near kinsman, Mr. John Bickerstaff. [94] I protest to you thegentleman has not spoken to me to desire this favour; but I have arespect for him, as well in regard to consanguinity, as that he is anintimate friend of that famous and heroic actor, Mr. George Powell, whoformerly played Alexander the Great in all places, though he is latelygrown so reserved as to act it only on the stage. [95]

[Footnote 85: By Wycherley, first acted in 1683. ]

[Footnote 86: Mrs. Bicknell (or Bignell) was born about 1695. It is notclear whether she was married, or whether the name Bicknell was taken todistinguish her from her sister, Mrs. Young, who was also an actress. Wefirst hear of her acting in 1706; she took parts in which sauciness andcoquetry were the chief features. Her last recorded appearance was onthe 2nd of April, 1723; and she died in May. She signed a petition "M. Bicknell"; probably her name was Margaret, her mother's name. Steelealludes to her as "pretty Mrs. Bignell" in No. 11, and as his friend inthe _Guardian_, No. 50. She was Miss Prue in Congreve's "Love for Love, "and Miss Hoyden in Vanbrugh's "Relapse. " In the _Spectator_ (No. 370)Steele praises her dancing. ]

[Footnote 87: Cibber writes thus of this actress: "Mrs. Mountford, whosesecond marriage gave her the name of Verbruggen, was mistress of morevariety of humour than I ever knew in any one woman actress. Thisvariety, too, was attended with an equal vivacity, which made herexcellent in characters extremely different. . . . She was so fond ofhumour, in what low part soever to be found, that she would make noscruple of defacing her fair form to come heartily into it. " She couldact admirably as a Devonshire lass, a pretty fellow, or a fine lady. Mrs. Verbruggen's first husband, the actor Mountford, was killed byCaptain Hill, with the assistance of Lord Mohun, in 1692, because Hill, who was making unsuccessful suit to Mrs. Bracegirdle was jealous of herfellow-actor. Mountford was then in his thirty-third year. Mrs. Mountford's second husband, John Verbruggen, is described by Tony Astonas "nature without extravagance. " . . . "That rough diamond shone morebright than all the artful polished brilliants that ever sparkled on ourstage. " The same writer says of Mrs. Verbruggen: "She was all art, butdressed so nice, it looked like nature. She was the most easy actress inthe world. Her maiden name was Percival. "]

[Footnote 88: Various Societies for the Reformation of Manners werefounded in the reign of William III. An "Account" of these societies waspublished in 1699, and Defoe often wrote on the subject. In 1708 theSociety for London and Westminster secured the conviction of 3299 "lewdand scandalous" persons, guilty of Sunday trading swearing, drunkenness, &c. ]

[Footnote 89: See Steele's apology to Blackmore, author of this poem, inNo. 14. Sir Richard Blackmore (died 1729) was a Whig physician who wroteepics on religious and other subjects, and was often at loggerheads withthe actors and wits. Though he was not a poet, Addison and Steelepraised him on account of the religious tone of his work (see_Spectator_, Nos. 6, 339). ]

[Footnote 90: Vanderbank, or as his father sometimes wrote his name, Vandrebanc, was a son of Peter Vanderbank, a Parisian, who came intoEngland with Gascar the painter, about 1674, and died at Bradfield, inHertfordshire, in 1697. His father was admired for the softness of hisprints, and still more for the size of them, some of his heads being thelargest that had then appeared in England; but the prices he received byno means compensated for the time employed on his works, and he wasreduced to want, and died at the house of Mr. Forester, hisbrother-in-law. After his death, his widow sold his plates to one Brown, a print-seller, who made a great profit by them. His eldest son had someshare in the theatre at Dublin; the youngest, William, was a poorlabourer, who gave an account of his father and the family to Vertue. The person mentioned in this paper was probably his father's name-son, and might be, as Walpole conjectures, an engraver. Whatever concern thefather might have had in any manufacture of tapestry, he could not bethe person meant here, for at this time he had been dead above tenyears. The suite of tapestry, in the Duke of Ancaster's sale, withVanderbank's name to it, mentioned by Walpole, must therefore besupposed to belong to the son, who is said, upon the authority of theFrench translator of the _Tatler_, to have represented nature veryhappily in works of tapestry, and to have been a man inimitable in thisway. (See Walpole's "Anecdotes of Painting, " 1782, vol. V. P. 166. )]

[Footnote 91: Trick (the early editions have "gigg"). ]

[Footnote 92: Waller wrote "Instructions to a Painter" and "Advice to aPainter, " and Denham "Directions to a Painter. "]

[Footnote 93: Farquhar's "Beaux' Stratagem, " 1707. ]

[Footnote 94: Bickerstaff acted the part of the Captain in Mrs. Centlivre's farce, "A Bickerstaff's Burying; or, Work for the Upholders"(1713), which was dedicated to the "magnificent Company of Upholders, whom the judicious Censor of Great Britain has so often condescended tomention. " In the "British Apollo, " vol. Ii. No. 107 (Feb. 27 to March 1, 1710), is a "New Prologue to 'Don Quixote' for Mr. Bickerstaff's Benefitat the Theatre Royal, spoken by himself. " The prologue ends:

 "I need not from the ladies fear my doom, When it shall thus be said, in my behalf, He bears the awful name of BICKERSTAFF. "

In the _Daily Courant_ for Feb. 4, 1710, there was advertised aperformance of the "Comical History of Don Quixote" at Drury Lane, "atthe desire of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , for the benefit of his cousin, John Bickerstaff. "]

[Footnote 95: George Powell, actor and dramatist, gave way often todrink. He died in 1714. Addison praised his acting of tragic parts inNo. 40 of the _Spectator_. See also No. 31. An order to the comedians inDorset Gardens forbade them acting till further order, because they hadallowed Powell to play after he was committed for drawing his sword onColonel Stanhope and Mr. Davenant. This is dated May 3, 10 Will. III. (1698); but on May 4 there was another order for the comedians to resumeacting. (Lord Chamberlain's Records, Warrant Book No. 19, p. 80. )Cibber's remarks on this incident will be found in his "Apology, " chap. X. ]

No. 4. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday April 16_, to _Tuesday, April 19, 1709_. 

 * * * * *

It is usual with persons who mount the stage for the cure or informationof the crowd about them, to make solemn professions of their beingwholly disinterested in the pains they take for the public good. At thesame time, those very men, who make harangues in plush doublets, andextol their own abilities and generous inclinations, tear their lungs invending a drug, and show no act of bounty, except it be, that they lowera demand of a crown, to six, nay, to one penny. We have a contempt forsuch paltry barterers, and have therefore all along informed the publicthat we intend to give them our advices for our own sakes, and arelabouring to make our lucubrations come to some price in money, for ourmore convenient support in the service of the public. It is certain, that many other schemes have been proposed to me; as a friend offered toshow me a treatise he had writ, which he called "The Whole Art of Life, or the Introduction to Great Men, illustrated in a Pack of Cards. " Butbeing a novice at all manner of play I declined the offer. Anotheradvised me, for want of money, to set up my coach and practise physic, but having been bred a scholar, I feared I should not succeed that wayneither; therefore resolved to go on in my present project. But you areto understand, that I shall not pretend to raise a credit to this work, upon the weight of my politic news only, but, as my Latin sentence inthe title-page informs you, shall take anything that offers for thesubject of my discourse. Thus, new persons, as well as new things, areto come under my consideration; as, when a toast, or a wit, is firstpronounced such, you shall have the freshest advice of their prefermentfrom me, with a description of the beauty's manner, and the wit's style;as also, in whose places they are advanced. For this town is nevergood-natured enough to raise one, without depressing another. But it ismy design, to avoid saying anything, of any person, which ought justlyto displease; but shall endeavour, by the variety of the matter andstyle, to give entertainment for men of pleasure, without offence tothose of business. 

White's Chocolate-house, April 18. 

All hearts at present pant for two ladies only[96], who have for sometime engrossed the dominion of the town. They are indeed both exceedingcharming, but differ very much in their excellences. The beauty ofClarissa is soft, that of Chloe piercing. When you look at Clarissa, you see the most exact harmony of feature, complexion, and shape; youfind in Chloe nothing extraordinary in any one of those particulars, butthe whole woman irresistible. Clarissa looks languishing; Chloe, killing. Clarissa never fails of gaining admiration; Chloe, of movingdesire. The gazers at Clarissa are at first unconcerned, as if they wereobserving a fine picture. They who behold Chloe, at the first glance, discover transport, as if they met their dearest friend. These differentperfections are suitably represented by the last great painter Italy hassent us, Mr. Jervas. [97] Clarissa is, by that skilful hand, placed in amanner that looks artless, and innocent of the torments she gives; Chloedrawn with a liveliness that shows she is conscious, but not affected, of her perfections. Clarissa is a shepherdess; Chloe, a country girl. Imust own, the design of Chloe's picture shows, to me, great mastery inthe painter; for nothing could be better imagined than the dress he hasgiven her, of a straw hat and riband, to represent that sort of beautywhich enters the heart with a certain familiarity, and cheats it into abelief, that it has received a lover as well as an object of love. Theforce of their different beauties is seen also in the effects it makeson their lovers. The admirers of Chloe are eternally gay andwell-pleased: those of Clarissa, melancholy and thoughtful. And as thispassion always changes the natural man into a quite different creaturefrom what he was before, the love of Chloe makes coxcombs; that ofClarissa, madmen. There were of each kind just now here. Here was onethat whistles, laughs, sings, and cuts capers, for love of Chloe. Another has just now written three lines to Clarissa, then taken a turnin the garden, then came back again, then tore his fragment, then calledfor some chocolate, then went away without it. 

Chloe has so many admirers in the room at present, that there is toomuch noise to proceed in my narration, so that the progress of the lovesof Clarissa and Chloe, together with the bottles that are drank eachnight for the one, and the many sighs which are uttered, and songswritten, on the other, must be our subject on future occasions. 

Will's Coffee-house, April 18. 

Letters from the Haymarket inform us, that on Saturday night last theopera of "Pyrrhus and Demetrius"[98] was performed with great applause. This intelligence is not very acceptable to us friends of the theatre;for the stage being an entertainment of the reason and all ourfaculties, this way of being pleased with the suspense of them for threehours together, and being given up to the shallow satisfaction of theeyes and ears only, seems to arise rather from the degeneracy of ourunderstanding, than an improvement of our diversions. [99] That theunderstanding has no part in the pleasure is evident, from what theseletters very positively assert, to wit, that a great part of theperformance was done in Italian: and a great critic fell into fits inthe gallery, at feeling, not only time and place, but languages andnations confused in the most incorrigible manner. His spleen is soextremely moved on this occasion, that he is going to publish a treatiseagainst operas, which, he thinks, have already inclined us to thoughtsof peace, and if tolerated, must infallibly dispirit us from carrying onthe war. He has communicated his scheme to the whole room, and declaredin what manner things of this kind were first introduced. He has uponthis occasion considered the nature of sounds in general, and made avery elaborate digression upon the London cries, [100] wherein he hasshown from reason and philosophy why oysters are cried, card-matches[101] sung, and turnips and all other vegetables neithercried, sung, nor said, but sold, with an accent and tone neither naturalto man or beast. This piece seems to be taken from the model of thatexcellent discourse of Mrs. Manly the schoolmistress, concerningsamplers. [102] Advices from the upper end of Piccadilly say that Mayfairis utterly abolished;[103] and we hear Mr. Pinkethman[104] has removedhis ingenious company of strollers to Greenwich: but other letters fromDeptford say, the company is only making thither, and not yet settled;but that several heathen gods and goddesses, which are to descend inmachines, landed at the King's Head Stairs last Saturday. Venus andCupid went on foot from thence to Greenwich; Mars got drunk in the town, and broke his landlord's head; for which he sat in the stocks the wholeevening; but Mr. Pinkethman giving security that he should do nothingthis ensuing summer, he was set at liberty. The most melancholy part ofall, was, that Diana was taken in the act of fornication with a boatman, and committed by Justice Wrathful, which has, it seems, put a stop tothe diversions of the theatre of Blackheath. But there goes down anotherDiana and a patient Grissel next tide from Billingsgate. [105]

St. James's Coffee-house, April 18. 

They write from Saxony of the 13th instant, N. S. , that the Grand Generalof the Crown of Poland was so far from entering into a treaty with KingStanislaus, that he had written circular letters, wherein he exhortedthe Palatinates to join against him; declaring, that this was the mostfavourable conjuncture for asserting their liberty. 

Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N. S. , say, they have advicesfrom Vienna, which import, that his Electoral Highness of Hanover hadsignified to the Imperial Court, that he did not intend to put himselfat the head of the troops of the Empire, except more effectual measureswere taken for acting vigorously against the enemy the ensuing campaign. Upon this representation, the Emperor has given orders to severalregiments to march towards the Rhine, and despatched expresses to therespective princes of the Empire to desire an augmentation of theirforces. 

These letters add, that an express arrived at the Hague on the 20thinstant, with advice, that the enemy having made a detachment fromTournay of 1500 horse, each trooper carrying a foot-soldier behind him, in order to surprise the garrison of Alost; the allies, upon notice oftheir march, sent out a strong body of troops from Ghent, which engagedthe enemy at Asche, and took 200 of them prisoners, obliging the rest toretire without making any further attempt. On the 22nd in the morning afleet of merchant ships coming from Scotland, were attacked by sixFrench privateers at the entrance of the Meuse. We have yet no certainadvice of the event: but letters from Rotterdam say, that a Dutchman-of-war of forty guns, which was convoy to the said fleet, was taken, as were also eighteen of the merchants. The Swiss troops, in theservice of the States, have completed the augmentation of theirrespective companies. Those of Wirtemberg and Prussia are expected onthe frontiers within few days; and the auxiliaries from Saxony, as alsoa battalion of Holstein, and another of Wolfembuttel, are advancingthither with all expedition. On the 21st instant, the deputies of theStates had a conference near Woerden with the President Rouillé, but thematter which was therein debated is not made public. His Grace the Dukeof Marlborough and Prince Eugene continue at the Hague. 

From my own Apartment, April 18. 

I have lately been very studious for intelligence, and have just now, bymy astrological flying-post, received a packet from Felicia, [106] anisland in America, with an account that gives me great satisfaction, andlets me understand that the island was never in greater prosperity, orthe administration in so good hands, since the death of their latevaliant king. These letters import, that the chief minister has enteredinto a firm league with the ablest and best men of the nation, to carryon the cause of liberty, to the encouragement of religion, virtue, andhonour. Those persons at the helm are so useful, and in themselves ofsuch weight, that their strict alliance must needs tend to the universalprosperity of the people. Camillo, [107] it seems, presides over thedeliberations of state; and is so highly valued by all men, for hissingular probity, courage, affability, and love of mankind, that hisbeing placed in that station has dissipated the fears of that people, who of all the world are the most jealous of their liberty andhappiness. The next member of their society is Horatio, [108] who makesall the public despatches. This minister is master of all the languagesin use to great perfection: he is held in the highest venerationimaginable for a severe honesty, and love of his country: he lives in acourt, unsullied with any of its artifices, the refuge of the oppressed, and terror of oppressors. Martio[109] has joined himself to thiscouncil; a man of most undaunted resolution and great knowledge inmaritime affairs; famous for destroying the navy of the Franks, [110] andsingularly happy in one particular, that he never preferred a man whohas not proved remarkably serviceable to his country. Philander[111] ismentioned with particular distinction; a nobleman who has the mostrefined taste of the true pleasures and elegance of life, joined to anindefatigable industry in business; a man eloquent in assemblies, agreeable in conversation, and dextrous in all manner of publicnegotiations. These letters add, that Verono, [112] who is also of thiscouncil, has lately set sail to his government of Patricia, with designto confirm the affections of the people in the interests of his queen. This minister is master of great abilities, and is as industrious andrestless for the preservation of the liberties of the people, as thegreatest enemy can be to subvert them. The influence of thesepersonages, who are men of such distinguished parts and virtues, makesthe people enjoy the utmost tranquillity in the midst of a war, andgives them undoubted hopes of a secure peace from their vigilance andintegrity. [113]

[Footnote 96: In a copy of the original edition of the _Tatler_, withMS. Notes written early in the last century, which was sold at Messrs. Sotheby's, in April, 1887, the ladies here described were said to beMrs. Chetwine and Mrs. Hales respectively. Mrs. Hales was a maid ofhonour who married Mr. Coke, vice-chamberlain, in July, 1709 (Luttrell's"Brief Relation, " vi. 462); "Mrs. Chetwine" was probably the wife ofWilliam Richard Chetwynd, afterwards third Viscount Chetwynd, whomarried Honora, daughter of John Baker, Consul at Algiers; or the wifeof his brother Walter, M. P. For Stafford, and Master of the Buckhounds. In 1717, Lady M. W. Montagu, describing a week spent by a fashionablelady, said, 'Friday, Mrs. Chetwynd's, &c. ; a perpetual round of hearingthe same scandal' (Pope's Works, ix. 385). ]

[Footnote 97: Charles Jervas, portrait painter (died 1739), becameprincipal painter to George I. And George II. He also made a translationof "Don Quixote, " first published in 1742. ]

[Footnote 98: A translation of Owen McSwiney (1709) from the Italian ofScarlatti. ]

[Footnote 99: In the _Spectator_ (Nos. 1, 5, 13, &c. ) Addison oftenwrote against the Italian opera. In 1706, Dennis published "An Essay onthe Operas after the Italian Manner, which are about to be establishedon the English Stage: with some reflections on the damage which they maybring to the Public. " He traces to the recent alterations in theentertainments of the stage, the fact that familiar conversation amongall classes was confined to two points, news and toasting, neither ofwhich required much intelligence. ]

[Footnote 100: The street cries of 1709 are described in Lauron's"Habits and Cries of the City of London. " They included "Anycard-matches or save-alls" and "Twelve-pence a peck, oysters. "]

[Footnote 101: Matches made by dipping pieces of card in melted sulphur. In the _Spectator_ (No. 251), Addison speaks of vendors of card-matchesas examples of the fact that those made most noise who had least tosell. ]

[Footnote 102: In vol. Ii. Of Dr. W. King's Works (1776) is "An Essay onthe Invention of Samplers, by Mrs. Arabella Manly, schoolmistress atHackney. "]

[Footnote 103: May Fair was abolished in 1709, after it had on severaloccasions been presented as a nuisance by the Grand Jury at Westminster. This fair was granted by King James II. Under the Great Seal, in thefourth year of his reign, to Sir John Coell and his heirs for ever, intrust for Henry Lord Dover and his heirs for ever, to be held in thefield called Brookfield, in the parish of St. Martin's, Westminster, tocommence on the first day of May, and to continue fifteen days yearly. It soon became the resort of the idle, the dissipated, and theprofligate, insomuch that the peace-officers were frequently opposed inthe performance of their duty; and, in the year 1702, John Cooper, oneof the constables, was killed, for which a fencing-master, named Cook, was executed. (See also No. 20. ) The fair was revived under George I. , but was finally abolished through the exertions of the sixth Earl ofCoventry. ]

[Footnote 104: William Pinkethman, the popular actor and droll, wasspoken of by Gildon as "the flower of Bartholomew Fair, and the idol ofthe rabble. " In June, 1710, he opened a theatre at Greenwich, and in1711 his "wonderful invention called The Pantheon, or, The Temple of theHeathen Gods, " with over 100 figures, was to be seen in the LittlePiazza, Covent Garden (_Spectator_, No. 46, advertisement). ]

[Footnote 105: "It is credibly reported that Mr. D----y has agreed withMr. Pinkethman to have his play acted before that audience as soon as ithas had its first sixteen days' run in Drury Lane" (folio). The play wasD'Urfey's "Modern Prophets. "]

[Footnote 106: Britain. ]

[Footnote 107: John, Lord Somers, President of the Council. ]

[Footnote 108: Sidney, Lord Godolphin, the Lord High Treasurer; or(according to the MS. Notes in the copy mentioned above) LordSunderland. ]

[Footnote 109: Edward, Earl of Orford. ]

[Footnote 110: At La Hogue, 1692. ]

[Footnote 111: Probably Lord Halifax. ]

[Footnote 112: Thomas, Earl of Wharton, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. ]

[Footnote 113: "Advertisement. --Upon the humble petition of RunningStationers, &c. , this paper maybe had of them, for the future, at theprice of one penny" (folio). The first four numbers were distributedgratuitously. ]

No. 5. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, April 19_, to _Thursday, April 21_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, April 20. 

 _Who names that lost thing, love, without a tear, Since so debauched by ill-bred customs here, To an exact perfection they have brought The action, love, the passion is forgot. _

This was long ago a witty author's lamentation, but the evil stillcontinues; and if a man of any delicacy were to attend the discourses ofthe young fellows of this age, they would believe there were none butprostitutes to make the objects of passion. So true it is what theauthor of the above verses said, a little before his death, of themodern pretenders to gallantry: "They set up for wits in this age, bysaying when they are sober, what they of the last spoke only when theywere drunk. " But Cupid is not only blind at present, but dead-drunk, hehas lost all his faculties: else how should Celia be so long a maid withthat agreeable behaviour? Corinna, with that uprightly wit? Lesbia, withthat heavenly voice? And Sacharissa, with all those excellences in oneperson, frequent the park, the play, and murder the poor tits that dragher to public places, and not a man turn pale at her appearance? Butsuch is the fallen state of love, that if it were not for honestCynthio, [114] who is true to the cause, we should hardly have a patternleft of the ancient worthies that way: and indeed he has but very littleencouragement to persevere; but he has a devotion, rather than love, forhis mistress; and says, Only tell her that I love, Leave the rest to her, and Fate; Some kind planet from above, May, perhaps, her passsion move: Lovers on their stars must wait. [115]

But the stars I am so intimately acquainted with, that I can assure him, he will never have her: for would you believe it, though Cynthio haswit, good sense, fortune, and his very being depends on her, thetermagant for whom he sighs, is in love with a fellow, who stares in theglass all the time he is with her, and lets her plainly see, she maypossibly be his rival, but never his mistress. Yet Cynthio, the sameunhappy man whom I mentioned in my first narrative, pleases himself witha vain imagination, that with the language of his eyes, now he has foundwho she is, he shall conquer her, though her eyes are intent upon onewho looks from her; which is ordinary with the sex. It is certainly amistake in the ancients, to draw the little gentleman, Love, as a blindboy; for his real character is, a little thief that squints. For askMrs. Meddle, who is a confidante, or spy, upon all the passions in town, and she will tell you, that the whole is a game of cross purposes. Thelover is generally pursuing one who is in pursuit of another, andrunning from one that desires to meet him. Nay, the figure of thispassion is so justly represented in a squinting little thief (who isalways in a double action) that do but observe Clarissa next time yousee her, and you'll find, when her eyes have made their tour round thecompany, she makes no stay on him they say she is to marry, but reststwo seconds of a minute on Wildair, who neither looks nor thinks on her, or any woman else. However, Cynthio had a bow from her the other day, upon which he is very much come to himself; and I heard him send his manof an errand yesterday without any manner of hesitation; a quarter of anhour after which he reckoned twenty, remembered he was to sup with afriend, and went exactly to his appointment. I sent to know how he didthis morning, and I find he very perfectly remembers that he spoke to meyesterday. 

Will's Coffee-house, April 20. 

This week[116] being sacred to holy things, and no public diversionsallowed, there has been taken notice of, even here, a little treatise, called, "A Project for the Advancement of Religion; dedicated to theCountess of Berkeley. "[117] The title was so uncommon, and promised sopeculiar a way of thinking, that every man here has read it, and asmany as have done so, have approved it. It is written with the spirit ofone, who has seen the world enough to undervalue it with good breeding. The author must certainly be a man of wisdom, as well as piety, and havespent much time in the exercise of both. The real causes of the decay ofthe interest of religion, are set forth in a clear and lively manner, without unseasonable passions; and the whole air of the book, as to thelanguage, the sentiments, and the reasonings, show it was written by onewhose virtue sits easy about him, and to whom vice is thoroughlycontemptible. It was said by one of this company, [118] alluding to theknowledge the author seems to have of the world, "The man writes muchlike a gentleman, and goes to heaven with a very good mien. "

St. James's Coffee-house, April 20. 

Letters from Italy say, that the Marquis de Prie, upon the receipt of anexpress from the Court of Vienna, went immediately to the palace ofCardinal Paulucci, minister of state to his Holiness, and demanded inthe name of his Imperial Majesty, that King Charles should be forthwithacknowledged king of Spain, by a solemn act of the congregation ofcardinals appointed for that purpose: he declared at the same time, thatif the least hesitation were made in this most important article of thelate treaty, he should not only be obliged to leave Rome himself, butalso transmit his master's orders to the imperial troops to face about, and return into the ecclesiastical dominions. When the cardinal reportedthis message to the Pope, he was struck with so sensible an affliction, that he burst into tears. His sorrow was aggravated by letters whichimmediately after arrived from the Court of Madrid, wherein his Nuncioacquainted his Holiness, that upon the news of his accommodation withthe Emperor, he had received a message to forbear coming to Court; andthe people were so highly provoked, that they could hardly be restrainedfrom insulting his palace. These letters add, that the King of Denmarkwas gone from Florence to Pisa, and from Pisa to Leghorn, where thegovernor paid his Majesty all imaginable honours. The king designed togo from thence to Lucca, where a magnificent tournament was prepared forhis diversion. An English man-of-war, which came from Port Mahon toLeghorn in six days, brought advice, that the fleet commanded by AdmiralWhitaker, was safely arrived at Barcelona, with the troops andammunition which he had taken in at Naples. 

General Boneval, Governor of Commacchio, had summoned the magistrates ofall the towns near that place to appear before him, and take an oath offidelity to his Imperial Majesty, commanding also the gentry to pay himhomage, on pain of death and confiscation of goods. Advices fromSwitzerland inform us, that the bankers of Geneva were utterly ruined bythe failure of Mr. Bernard. They add, that the deputies of the SwissCantons were returned from Solleure, where they were assembled at theinstance of the French Ambassador; but were very much dissatisfied withthe reception they had from that minister. 'Tis true, he omitted nocivilities, or expressions of friendship from his master, but he took nonotice of their pensions and arrears; what further provoked theirindignation, was, that instead of twenty-five pistoles formerly allowedto each member, for their charge in coming to the Diet, he hadpresented them with six only. They write from Dresden, that KingAugustus was still busy in recruiting his cavalry, and that the Danishtroops, which lately served in Hungary, had orders to be in Saxony inthe middle of May, and that his Majesty of Denmark was expected atDresden in the beginning of that month. King Augustus makes greatpreparations for his reception, and has appointed sixty coaches, eachdrawn by six horses for that purpose: the interview of these princesaffords great matter for speculation. Letters from Paris of the 22nd ofthis month say, that Mareschal Harcourt and the Duke of Berwick werepreparing to go into Alsace and Dauphine, but that their troops were inwant of all manner of necessaries. The Court of France had receivedadvices from Madrid, that on the 7th of this month, the States of Spainhad with much magnificence acknowledged the Prince of Asturiaspresumptive heir of the crown. This was performed at Buen Retiro; thedeputies took the oaths on that occasion by the hands of CardinalPortocarrero. Those advices add, that it was signified to the Pope'sNuncio, by order of council, to depart from that Court in twenty-fourhours, and that a guard was accordingly appointed to conduct him toBayonne. 

Letters from the Hague of the 26th instant inform us, that Prince Eugenewas to set out the next day for Brussels, to put all things in areadiness for opening the campaign. They add, that the Grand Pensionerhaving reported to the Duke of Marlborough what passed in the lastconference with Mr. Rouillé, [119] his Grace had taken a resolutionimmediately to return to Great Britain, to communicate to her Majestyall that has been transacted in that important affair. 

From my own Apartment, April 20. 

The nature of my miscellaneous work is such, that I shall always takethe liberty to tell for news such things (let them have happened neverso much before the time of writing) as have escaped public notice, orhave been misrepresented to the world, provided that I am still withinrules, and trespass not as a Tatler any further than in an incorrectnessof style, and writing in an air of common speech. Thus if anything thatis said, even of old Anchises or Æneas, be set by me in a differentlight than has hitherto been hit upon, in order to inspire the love andadmiration of worthy actions, you will, gentle reader, I hope, accept ofit for intelligence you had not before. But I am going upon a narrative, the matter of which I know to be true: it is not only doing justice tothe deceased merit[120] of such persons, as, had they lived, would nothave had it in their power to thank me, but also an instance of thegreatness of spirit in the lowest of her Majesty's subjects; take it asfollows:

At the siege of Namur by the Allies, there were in the ranks of thecompany commanded by Captain Pincent, in Colonel Frederick Hamilton'sregiment, one Unnion a corporal, and one Valentine a private sentinel:there happened between these two men a dispute about a matter of love, which, upon some aggravations, grew to an irreconcilable hatred. Unnionbeing the officer of Valentine, took all opportunities even to strikehis rival, and profess the spite and revenge which moved him to it. Thesentinel bore it without resistance, but frequently said he would die tobe revenged of that tyrant. They had spent whole months thus, oneinjuring, the other complaining; when in the midst of this rage towardseach other, they were commanded upon the attack of the castle, where thecorporal received a shot in the thigh, and fell; the French pressing on, and he expecting to be trampled to death, called out to his enemy, "Ah, Valentine! Can you leave me here?" Valentine immediately ran back, andin the midst of a thick fire of the French, took the corporal upon hisback, and brought him through all that danger as far as the Abbey ofSalsine, where a cannon-ball took off his head: his body fell under hisenemy whom he was carrying off Unnion immediately forgot his wound, roseup, tearing his hair, and then threw himself upon the bleeding carcass, crying, "Ah, Valentine! Was it for me, who have so barbarously usedthee, that thou hast died? I will not Jive after thee. " He was not byany means to be forced from the body, but was removed with it bleedingin his arms, and attended with tears by all their comrades, who knewtheir enmity. When he was brought to a tent, his wounds were dressed byforce; but the next day, still calling upon Valentine, and lamenting hiscruelties to him, he died in the pangs of remorse and despair. 

It may be a question among men of noble sentiments, whether of theseunfortunate persons had the greater soul; he that was so generous as toventure his life for his enemy, or he who could not survive the man thatdied, in laying upon him such an obligation?

When we see spirits like these in a people, to what heights may we notsuppose their glory may arise, but (as it is excellently observed bySallust[121]) it is not only to the general bent of a nation that greatrevolutions are owing, but to the extraordinary genios[122] that leadthem. On which occasion he proceeds to say that the Roman greatness wasneither to be attributed to their superior policy, for in that theCarthaginians excelled; nor to their valour, for in that the French werepreferable; but to particular men, who were born for the good of theircountry, and formed for great attempts. This he says, to introduce thecharacters of Cassar and Cato. It would be entering into too weighty adiscourse for this place, if I attempted to show that our nation hasproduced as great and able men for public affairs, as any other. But Ibelieve the reader outruns me, and fixes his imagination upon the Dukeof Marlborough. It is, methinks, a pleasing reflection, to consider thedispensations of Providence in the fortune of this illustrious man, who, in the space of forty years, has passed through all the gradations ofhuman life, till he has ascended to the character of a prince, andbecome the scourge of a tyrant, who sat in one of the greatest thronesof Europe, before the man who was to have the greatest part in hisdownfall had made one step in the world. [123] But such elevations arethe natural consequences of an exact prudence, a calm courage, awell-governed temper, a patient ambition, and an affable behaviour. These arts, as they are the steps to his greatness, so they are thepillars of it now it is raised. To this her glorious son, Great Britainis indebted for the happy conduct of her arms, in whom she can boast, she has produced a man formed by nature to lead a nation of heroes. 

[Footnote 114: Edward Richard Montagu, styled Viscount Hinchinbroke, whodied before his father, on October 3, 1722, was the only son of Edward, third Earl of Sandwich. He was born about 1690, and became colonel ofthe First Regiment of Foot Guards, and Lord Lieutenant ofHuntingdonshire. In 1707, he married Elizabeth, daughter of AlexanderPopham, of Littlecot, Wilts, and of Anne, daughter of the first Duke ofMontagu. (See Nos. 1, 22, 35, 85, and the _Lover_, No. 38. )]

[Footnote 115: These lines are part of a song by Lord Cutts, under whomSteele had served as secretary when in the army. The verses will befound in Nichols' "Select Collection" (1780), ii. 327. ]

[Footnote 116: Passion Week. ]

[Footnote 117: First published as "By a Person of Quality. " "Thegentleman I here intended was Dr. Swift, this kind of man I thought himat that time. We have not met of late, but I hope he deserves thischaracter still. " (Steele's "Apology, " 1714. ) This pamphlet is closelyin accord with the _Tatler_ in its condemnation of gaming, drunkenness, swearing, immorality on the stage, and other evils of the time. Swiftsuggests, too, a revival of censors. ]

[Footnote 118: Forster suggests that it was Addison. ]

[Footnote 119: See No. 1. ]

[Footnote 120: This phrase, as well as Unnion's forgetting his wound, iscriticised in a little book called, "Annotations on the _Tatler_, in twoparts, " 12mo, said to have been written originally in French by MonsieurBournelle, and translated into English by Walter Wagstaff, Esq. London, Bernard Lintott, 1710. The annotator goes no farther with hisannotations than to _Tatler_ No. 83. See Nos. 78, 191. ]

[Footnote 121: "Bell. Catal. , " c. 53. ]

[Footnote 122: "A man of a particular turn of mind" (Johnson). ]

[Footnote 123: In 1705, after the battle of Blenheim, Marlborough wasmade Prince of Mildenheim by the Emperor. Lewis XIV. Succeeded to theFrench throne in 1643; Marlborough was born in 1650. ]

No. 6. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, April 21_, to _Saturday, April 23_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, April 22. 

I am just come from visiting Sappho, [124] a fine lady, who writesverses, sings, dances and can say and do whatever she pleases, withoutthe imputation of anything that can injure her character; for she is sowell known to have no passion but self-love, or folly, but affectation;that now upon any occasion they only cry, "'Tis her way, " and "That's solike her, " without further reflection. As I came into the room, shecries, "O Mr. Bickerstaff, I am utterly undone! I have broke that prettyItalian fan I showed you when you were here last, wherein were soadmirably drawn our first parents in Paradise asleep in each other'sarms. " But there is such an affinity between painting and poetry, that Ihave been improving the images which were raised by that picture, byreading the same representation in two of our greatest poets. Look you, here are the passages in Milton and in Dryden. All Milton's thoughts arewonderfully just and natural, in this inimitable description which Adammakes of himself in the eighth book of "Paradise Lost. " But there isnone of them finer than that contained in the following lines, where hetells us his thoughts when he was falling asleep a little after hiscreation. 

 _While thus I called, and strayed I know not whither, From whence I first drew air, and first beheld This happy light; when answer none returned, On a green shady bank, profuse of flowers, Pensive I sate me down, there gentle sleep First found me, and with soft oppression seized My drowned sense, untroubled, though I thought I then was passing to my former state, Insensible, and forthwith to dissolve. _[125]

But now I can't forgive this odious thing, this Dryden, who, in his"State of Innocence, " has given my great-grand-mother Eve the sameapprehension of annihilation, on a very different occasion, as Adampronounces it of himself, when he was seized with a pleasing kind ofstupor and deadness, Eve fancies herself falling away, and dissolving inthe hurry of a rapture. However, the verses are very good, and I don'tknow but it may be natural what she says. I'll read them:

 _When your kind eyes looked languishing on mine, And wreathing arms did soft embraces join, A doubtful trembling seized me first all o'er, Then wishes, and a warmth unknown before; What followed was all extasy and trance, Immortal pleasures round my swimming eyes did dance, And speechless joys, in whose sweet tumults tost, I thought my breath and my new being lost. _[126]

She went on, and said a thousand good things at random, but so strangelymixed that you would be apt to say all her wit is mere good luck, andnot the effect of reason and judgment. When I made my escape hither Ifound a gentleman playing the critic on two other great poets, evenVirgil and Homer. [127] He was observing, that Virgil is more judiciousthan the other in the epithets he gives his hero. "Homer's usualepithet, " said he, "is Πόδας ὠχὺς [Pódas ôchùs], or Ποδάρχης [Podárchês], and his indiscretion has been often rallied by the critics, formentioning the nimbleness of foot in Achilles, though he describes himstanding, sitting, lying down, fighting, eating, drinking, or in anyother circumstance, however foreign or repugnant to speed and activity. Virgil's common epithet to Æneas, is 'Pius' or 'Pater. ' I have thereforeconsidered, " said he, "what passage there is in any of his hero's actions, where either of these appellations would have been most improper, to seeif I could catch him at the same fault with Homer: and this, I think, ishis meeting with Dido in the cave, where Pius Æneas would have beenabsurd, and Pater Æneas a burlesque: the poet has therefore wiselydropped them both for Dux Trojanus, "_Speluncam Dido dux et Trojanus eandem Devenient;_[128]

which he has repeated twice in Juno's speech, and his own narration: forhe very well knew a loose action might be consistent enough with theusual manners of a soldier, though it became neither the chastity of apious man, nor the gravity of the father of a people. "

Grecian Coffee-house, April 22. 

While other parts of the town are amused with the present actions, wegenerally spend the evening at this table in inquiries into antiquity, and think anything news which gives us new knowledge. Thus we are makinga very pleasant entertainment to ourselves, in putting the actions ofHomer's "Iliad" into an exact journal. 

This poem is introduced by Chryses, King of Chryseis, and priest ofApollo, who comes to re-demand his daughter, who was carried off at thetaking of that city, and given to Agamemnon for his part of the booty. The refusal he received enrages Apollo, who for nine days showered downdarts upon them, which occasioned the pestilence. 

The tenth day Achilles assembles the council, and encourages Chalcas tospeak for the surrender of Chryseis to appease Apollo. Agamemnon andAchilles storm at one another, notwithstanding which Agamemnon will notrelease his prisoner, unless he has Briseis in her stead. After longcontestations, wherein Agamemnon gives a glorious character of Achilles'valour, he determines to restore Briseis to her father, and sends twoheralds to fetch away Chryseis from Achilles, who abandons himself tosorrow and despair. His mother Thetis came to comfort him under hisaffliction, and promises to represent his sorrowful lamentations toJupiter; but he could not attend it; for the evening before, he hadappointed to divert himself for two days beyond the seas with theharmless Æthiopians. 

It was the twenty-first day after Chryseis' arrival to the camp, thatThetis went very early to demand an audience of Jupiter. The means heuses to satisfy her were, to persuade the Greeks to attack the Trojans;that so they might perceive the consequence of condemning Achilles andthe miseries they suffer if he does not head them. The next night heorders Agamemnon, in a dream, to attack them; who was deceived with thehopes of obtaining a victory, and also taking the city, without sharingthe honour with Achilles. 

On the 22nd, in the morning, he assembles the council, and having made afeint of raising the siege and retiring, he declares to them his dream;and, together with Nestor and Ulysses, resolves on an engagement. 

This was the twenty-third day, which is full of incidents, and whichcontinues from almost the beginning of the second canto to the eighth. The armies being then drawn up in view of one another, Hector brings itabout that Menelaus and Paris, the two persons concerned in the quarrel, should decide it by a single combat; which tending to the advantage ofMenelaus, was interrupted by a cowardice infused by Minerva: then botharmies engage, where the Trojans have the disadvantage; but beingafterwards animated by Apollo, they repulse the enemy, yet they are onceagain forced to give ground; but their affairs were retrieved by Hector, who has a single combat with Ajax. The gods threw themselves into thebattle, Juno and Minerva took the Grecians' part, and Apollo and Marsthe Trojans': but Mars and Venus are both wounded by Diomedes. 

The truce for burying the slain ended the twenty-third day; after whichthe Greeks threw up a great entrenchment to secure their navy fromdanger. Councils are held on both sides. On the morning of thetwenty-fourth day the battle is renewed, but in a very disadvantageousmanner to the Greeks, who were beaten back to their retrenchments. Agamemnon being in despair at this ill success, proposes to the councilto quit the enterprise and retire from Troy. But by the advice ofNestor, he is persuaded to regain Achilles, by returning Chryseis, andsending him considerable presents. Hereupon, Ulysses and Ajax are sentto that hero, who continues inflexible in his anger. Ulysses, at hisreturn, joins himself with Diomedes, and goes in the night to gainintelligence of the enemy: they enter into their very camp, where, finding the sentinels asleep, they made a great slaughter. Rhesus, whowas just then arrived with recruits from Thrace for the Trojans, waskilled in that action. Here ends the tenth canto. The sequel of thisjournal will be inserted in the next article from this place. 

St. James's Coffee-house, April 22. 

We hear from Italy, that notwithstanding the Pope has received a letterfrom the Duke of Anjou, demanding of him to explain himself upon theaffair of acknowledging King Charles: his Holiness has not yet thoughtfit to send any answer to that prince. The Court of Rome appears verymuch mortified, that they are not to see his Majesty of Denmark in thatcity, having perhaps given themselves vain hopes from a visit made by aProtestant priest to that see. The Pope has despatched a gentleman tocompliment his Majesty, and sent the king a present of all thecuriosities and antiquities of Rome, represented in seventeen volumes, very richly bound, which were taken out of the Vatican library. Lettersfrom Genoa of the 14th instant say, a felucca was arrived there in fivedays from Marseilles, with an account, that the people of that city hadmade an insurrection, by reason of the scarcity of provisions, and thatthe Intendant had ordered some companies of marines, and the menbelonging to the galleys, to stand to their arms to protect him fromviolence; but that he began to be in as much apprehension of his guardsas those from whom they were to defend him. When that vessel came away, the soldiers murmured publicly for want of pay, and it was generallybelieved they would pillage the magazines, as the garrison of Grenoble, and other towns of France, had already done. A vessel which lately cameinto Leghorn, brought advice, that the British squadron was arrived atPort Mahon, where they were taking in more troops, in order to attemptthe relief of Alicante, which still made a very vigorous defence. 'Tissaid, Admiral Byng will be at the head of that expedition. The King ofDenmark was gone from Leghorn towards Lucca. 

They write from Vienna, that in case the Allies should enter into atreaty of peace with France, Count Zinzendorf will be appointed firstplenipotentiary, the Count de Goes the second, and Monsieur vanKonsbruch a third. Major-General Palmes, Envoy Extraordinary from herBritannic Majesty, has been very urgent with that Court to make theirutmost efforts against France the ensuing campaign, in order to obligeit to such a peace, as may establish the tranquillity of Europe for thefuture. 

We are also informed, that the Pope uses all imaginable shifts to eludethe treaty concluded with the Emperor, and that he demanded theimmediate restitution of Commacchio; insisting also, that his ImperialMajesty should ask pardon, and desire absolution for what has formerlypassed, before he would solemnly acknowledge King Charles: but this wasutterly refused. 

They hear at Vienna, by letters from Constantinople, dated the 22nd ofFebruary last, that on the 12th of that month the Grand Signior tookoccasion, at the celebration of the festivals of the Mussulmen, to setall the Christian slaves which were in the galleys at liberty. 

Advices from Switzerland import, that the preachers of the county ofTockenburg continue to create new jealousies of the Protestants, andsome disturbances lately happened there on that account. The Protestantsand Papists in the town of Hamman go to divine service one after anotherin the same church, as is usual in many other parts of Switzerland; buton Sunday, the 10th instant, the Popish curate, having ended hisservice, attempted to hinder the Protestants from entering into thechurch according to custom; but the Protestants briskly attacked him andhis party, and broke into it by force. 

Last night between seven and eight, his Grace the Duke of Marlborougharrived at Court. 

From my own Apartment, April 22. 

The present great captains of the age, the Duke of Marlborough andPrince Eugene, having been the subject of the discourse of the lastcompany I was in, it has naturally led me into a consideration ofAlexander and Cæsar, the two greatest names which ever appeared beforethis century. In order to enter into their characters, there needs nomore but examining their behaviour in parallel circumstances. It must beallowed, that they had an equal greatness of soul; but Cæsar's was morecorrected and allayed by a mixture of prudence and circumspection. Thisis seen conspicuously in one particular in their histories, wherein theyseem to have shown exactly the difference of their tempers. WhenAlexander, after a long course of victories, would still have led hissoldiers farther from home, they unanimously refused to follow him. Wemeet with the like behaviour in Cæsar's army in the midst of his marchagainst Ariovistus. Let us therefore observe the conduct of our twogenerals in so nice an affair: and here we find Alexander at the head ofhis army, upbraiding them with their cowardice, and meanness of spirit;and in the end, telling them plainly, he would go forward himself, though not a man followed him. This showed indeed an excessive bravery;but how would the commander have come off, if the speech had notsucceeded, and the soldiers had taken him at his word? The project seemsof a piece with Mr. Bayes' in "The Rehearsal, "[129] who, to gain a clapin his prologue, comes out, with a terrible fellow in a fur capfollowing him, and tells his audience, if they would not like his play, he would lie down and have his head struck off. If this gained a clap, all was well; but if not, there was nothing left but for the executionerto do his office. But Cæsar would not leave the success of his speechto such uncertain events: he shows his men the unreasonableness of theirfears in an obliging manner, and concludes, that if none else wouldmarch along with them, he would go himself with the Tenth Legion, for hewas assured of their fidelity and valour, though all the rest forsookhim; not but that in all probability they were as much against the marchas the rest. The result of all was very natural: the Tenth Legion, firedwith the praises of their general, send thanks to him for the justopinion he entertains of them; and the rest, ashamed to be outdone, assure him, that they are as ready to follow where he pleases to leadthem, as any other part of the army. 

[Footnote 124: It has been suggested, with little or no reason, thatSappho is meant for Mrs. Manley (Author of the "New Atalantis"), or Mrs. Elizabeth Thomas (known as "Corinna"), or Mrs. Elizabeth Heywood. SeeNo. 40. ]

[Footnote 125: "Paradise Lost, " viii. 283. ]

[Footnote 126: Dryden's "State of Innocence and Fall of Man: an Opera, "act iii. Sc. I. In the _Spectator_ (No. 345), Addison illustratedMilton's chaste treatment of the subject of Eve's nuptials bycontrasting what he says with the account in the opera in which Dryden, according to Lee's verses, refined "Milton's golden ore, and new-weavedhis hard-spun thought. "]

[Footnote 127: Addison, on reading here this remark upon Virgil, whichhe himself had communicated to Steele, discovered that his friend wasthe author of the _Tatler_. He was at this time in Ireland, Secretary toLord Wharton, and returned to England with the Lord Lieutenant on the8th of September following. (Tickell's Preface to Addison's Works. )]

[Footnote 128: "Æneid, " iv. 124. ]

[Footnote 129: "The Rehearsal, " act i. Sc. 2. This play of the Duke ofBuckingham's was produced in 1671, and the poet Bayes, as finally drawnafter revision, was a satire on Dryden. ]

No. 7. [STEELE

From _Saturday, April 23_, to _Tuesday, April 26_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

It is so just an observation, that mocking is catching, that I am becomean unhappy instance of it, and am (in the same manner that I haverepresented Mr. Partridge) myself a dying man in comparison of thevigour with which I first set out in the world. Had it been otherwise, you may be sure I would not have pretended to have given for news, as Idid last Saturday, a diary of the siege of Troy. But man is a creaturevery inconsistent with himself: the greatest heroes are sometimesfearful, the sprightliest wits at some hours dull; and the greatestpoliticians on some occasions whimsical. But I shall not pretend topalliate, or excuse the matter; for I find, by a calculation of my ownnativity, that I cannot hold out with any tolerable wit longer than twominutes after twelve o'clock at night, between the 18th and 19th of thenext month. For which space of time you may still expect to hear fromme, but no longer, except you will transmit to me the occurrences youmeet with relating to your amours, or any other subject within the rulesby which I have proposed to walk. If any gentleman or lady sends toIsaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , at Mr. Morphew's, [130] near Stationers' Hall, by the Penny Post, the grief or joy of their soul, what they think fitof the matter shall be related in colours as much to their advantage, asthose in which Jervas[131] has drawn the agreeable Chloe. But since, without such assistance, I frankly confess, and am sensible, that Ihave not a month's wit more, I think I ought, while I am in my soundhealth and senses, to make my will and testament; which I do in mannerand form following:

Imprimis, I give to the stockjobbers about the Exchange of London, as asecurity for the trusts daily reposed in them, all my real estate; whichI do hereby vest in the said body of worthy citizens for ever. 

Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without readycash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bearskin, [132] which Ihave frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supplytheir necessities. I say, I give also the said bearskin, as an immediatefund to the said citizens for ever. 

Item, I do hereby appoint a certain number of the said citizens to takeall the custom-house or customary oaths, concerning all goods importedto the whole city, strictly directing, that some select members, and notthe whole number of a body corporate, should be perjured. 

Item, I forbid all n----s and persons of q----ty to watch bargains nearand about the Exchange, to the diminution and wrong of the saidstockjobbers. 

Thus far, in as brief and intelligible a manner as any will can appear, till it is explained by the learned, I have disposed of my real andpersonal estate: but, as I am an adept, I have by birth an equal rightto give also an indefeasible title to my endowments and qualifications;which I do in the following manner:

Item, I give my chastity to all virgins who have withstood theirmarket. 

Item, I give my courage among all who are ashamed of their distressedfriends, all sneakers in assemblies, and men who show valour in commonconversation. 

Item, I give my wit (as rich men give to the rich) among such as thinkthey have enough already. And in case they shall not accept of thelegacy, I give it to Bentivolio, [133] to defend his works from time totime, as he shall think fit to publish them. 

Item, I bestow my learning upon the honorary members of the RoyalSociety. [134]

Now for the disposal of this body. 

As these eyes must one day cease to gaze on Teraminta, and this heartshall one day pant no more for her indignation: that is to say, sincethis body must be earth, I shall commit it to the dust in a mannersuitable to my character. Therefore, as there are those who dispute, whether there is any such real person as Isaac Bickerstaff or not, Ishall excuse all persons who appear what they really are, from coming tomy funeral. But all those who are, in their way of life, persons, as theLatins have it, persons assumed, and who appear what they really arenot, are hereby invited to that solemnity. 

The body shall be carried by six watchmen, who are never seen in theday. 

Item, The pall shall be held up by the six most known pretenders tohonesty, wealth and power, who are not possessed of any of them. Thetwo first, an half-lawyer, a complete justice. The two next, a chemist, a projector. The third couple, a Treasury solicitor, and a smallcourtier. 

To make my funeral (what that solemnity, when done to common men, reallyis in itself) a very farce; and since all mourners are mere actors onthese occasions, I shall desire those who are professedly such, toattend me. I humbly therefore beseech Mrs. Barry[135] to act once more, and be my widow. When she swoons away at the church-porch, I appoint themerry Sir John Falstaff, and the gay Sir Harry Wildair, to support her. I desire Mr. Pinkethman[136] to follow in the habit of a cardinal, andMr. Bullock[137] in that of a privy councillor. To make up the rest ofthe appearance, I desire all the ladies from the balconies to weep withMrs. Barry, as they hope to be wives and widows themselves. I inviteall, who have nothing else to do, to accept of gloves and scarves. 

Thus, with the great Charles V. Of Spain, I resign the glories of thistransitory world: yet, at the same time, to show you my indifference, and that my desires are not too much fixed upon anything, I own to you, I am as willing to stay as go: therefore leave it in the choice of mygentle readers, whether I shall hear from them, or they hear no morefrom me. 

White's Chocolate-house, April 25. 

Easter Day being a time when you can't well meet with any but humbleadventures; and there being such a thing as low gallantry, as well as alow comedy, Colonel Ramble[138] and myself went early this morning intothe fields, which were strewed with shepherds and shepherdesses, butindeed of a different turn from the simplicity of those of Arcadia. Every hedge was conscious of more than what the representations ofenamoured swains admit of. While we were surveying the crowd around us, we saw at a distance a company coming towards Pancras Church; but thoughthere was not much disorder, we thought we saw the figure of a man stuckthrough with a sword, and at every step ready to fall, if a woman by hisside had not supported him; the rest followed two and two. When we camenearer this appearance, who should it be but Monsieur Guardeloop, mineand Ramble's French tailor, attended by others, leading one of MadameDepingle's[139] maids to the church, in order to their espousals. It washis sword tucked so high above his waist, and the circumflex whichpersons of his profession take in their walking, that made him appear ata distance wounded and falling. But the morning being rainy, methoughtthe march to this wedding was but too lively a picture of wedlockitself. They seemed both to have a month's mind to make the best oftheir way single; yet both tugged arm in arm; and when they were in adirty way, he was but deeper in the mire, by endeavouring to pull outhis companion, and yet without helping her. The bridegroom's feathers inhis hat all drooped, one of his shoes had lost an heel. In short, he wasin his whole person and dress so extremely soused, that there did notappear one inch or single thread about him unmarried. [140] Pardon me, that the melancholy object still dwells upon me so far, as to reduce meto punning. However, we attended to the chapel, where we stayed to hearthe irrevocable words pronounced upon our old servant, and made the bestof our way to town. I took a resolution to forbear all married persons, or any, in danger of being such, for four-and-twenty hours at least;therefore dressed, and went to visit Florimel, the vainest thing intown, where I knew would drop in Colonel Picket, just come from thecamp, her professed admirer. He is of that order of men who has muchhonour and merit, but withal a coxcomb; the other of that set offemales, who has innocence and wit, but the first of coquettes. It iseasy to believe, these must be admirers of each other. She says, "TheColonel rides the best of any man in England": the Colonel says, "Shetalks the best of any woman. " At the same time, he understands wit justas she does horsemanship. You are to know, these extraordinary personssee each other daily; and they themselves, as well as the town, think itwill be a match: but it can never happen that they can come to thepoint; for instead of addressing to each other, they spend their wholetime in reports of themselves. He is satisfied if he can convince her heis a fine gentleman, and a man of consequence; and she, in appearing tohim an accomplished lady and a wit, without further design. Thus hetells her of his manner of posting his men at such a pass, with thenumbers he commanded on that detachment: she tells him, how she wasdressed on such a day at Court, and what offers were made her the weekfollowing. She seems to hear the repetition of his men's names withadmiration; and waits only to answer him with as false a muster oflovers. They talk to each other not to be informed, but approved. Thusthey are so like, that they are to be ever distant, and the parallellines may run together for ever, but never meet. 

Will's Coffee-house, April 25. 

This evening, the comedy, called "Epsom Wells, "[141] was acted for thebenefit of Mr. Bullock, [142] who, though he is a person of much wit andingenuity, has a peculiar talent of looking like a fool, and thereforeexcellently well qualified for the part of Biskett in this play. Icannot indeed sufficiently admire his way of bearing a beating, as hedoes in this drama, and that with such a natural air and propriety offolly, that one cannot help wishing the whip in one's own hand; sorichly does he seem to deserve his chastisement. Skilful actors think ita very peculiar happiness to play in a scene with such as top theirparts. Therefore I cannot but say, when the judgment of any good authordirects him to write a beating for Mr. Bullock from Mr. WilliamPinkethman, or for Mr. William Pinkethman from Mr. Bullock, thoseexcellent players seem to be in their most shining circumstances, andplease me more, but with a different sort of delight, than that which Ireceive from those grave scenes of Brutus and Cassius, or Antony andVentidius. The whole comedy is very just, and the low part of human liferepresented with much humour and wit. 

St. James's Coffee-house, April 25. 

We are advised from Vienna, by letters of the 20th instant, that theEmperor hath lately added twenty new members to his Council of State, but they have not yet taken their places at the board. General Thaun isreturned from Baden, his health being so well re-established by thebaths of that place, that he designs to set out next week for Turin, tohis command of the Imperial troops in the service of the Duke of Savoy. His Imperial Majesty has advanced his brother Count Henry Thaun to be abrigadier, and a Councillor of the Aulic Council of War. These lettersimport, that King Stanislaus and the Swedish General Crassau aredirecting their march to the Nieper, to join the King of Sweden's armyin Ukrania: that the States of Austria have furnished Marshal Heisterwith a considerable sum of money, to enable him to push on the warvigorously in Hungary, where all things as yet are in perfecttranquillity: and that General Thungen has been very importunate for aspeedy reinforcement of the forces on the Upper Rhine, representing atthe same time, what miseries the inhabitants must necessarily undergo, if the designs of France on those parts be not speedily and effectuallyprevented. 

Letters from Rome, dated the 13th instant, say, that on the precedingSunday his Holiness was carried in an open chair from St. Peter's to St. Mary's, attended by the Sacred College, in cavalcade; and, after Mass, distributed several dowries for the marriage of poor and distressedvirgins. The proceedings of that Court are very dilatory concerning therecognition of King Charles, notwithstanding the pressing instances ofthe Marquis de Prie, who has declared, that if this affair be not whollyconcluded by the 15th instant, he will retire from that Court, and orderthe Imperial troops to return into the ecclesiastical state. On theother hand, the Duke of Anjou's minister has, in the name of his master, demanded of his Holiness to explain himself on that affair; which, it issaid, will be finally determined in a consistory to be held on Mondaynext; the Duke d'Uzeda designing to delay his departure till he sees theissue. These letters also say, that the Court was mightily alarmed atthe news which they received by an express from Ferrara, that GeneralBoneval, who commands in Commachio, had sent circular letters to theinhabitants of St. Alberto, Longastrino, Fillo, and other adjacentparts, enjoining them to come and swear fealty to the Emperor, andreceive new investitures of their fiefs from his hands. Letters fromother parts of Italy say, that the King of Denmark continues at Lucca;that four English and Dutch men-of-war were seen off of Oneglia, boundfor Final, in order to transport the troops designed for Barcelona; andthat her Majesty's ship the _Colchester_ arrived at Leghorn the 4thinstant from Port Mahon, with advice, that Major-General Stanhopedesigned to part from thence the 1st instant with 6000 or 7000 men toattempt the relief of the Castle of Alicant. 

Our last advices from Berlin, bearing date the 27th instant, import, that the King was gone to Linum, and the Queen to Mecklenburg; but thattheir Majesties designed to return the next week to Oranienburg, where agreat chase of wild beasts was prepared for their diversion, and fromthence they intend to proceed together to Potsdam; that the Prince Royalwas set out for Brabant, but intended to make some short stay atHanover. These letters also inform us, that they are advised from Obory, that the King of Sweden, being on his march towards Holki, met GeneralRenne with a detachment of Muscovites, who placing some regiments inambuscade, attacked the Swedes in their rear, and putting them toflight, killed 2000 men, the king himself having his horse shot underhim. 

We hear from Copenhagen, that, the ice being broke, the Sound is againopen for the ships; and that they hoped his Majesty would return soonerthan they at first expected. 

Letters from the Hague, dated May the 4th, N. S. , say that an expressarrived there on the 1st from Prince Eugene to his Grace the Duke ofMarlborough. The States are advised, that the auxiliaries of Saxonywere arrived on the frontiers of the United Provinces; as also, that thetwo regiments of Wolfembuttel, and 4000 troops from Wirtemberg, whichare to serve in Flanders, are in full march thither. Letters fromFlanders, say that the great convoy of ammunition and provisions whichset out from Ghent for Lille, was safely arrived at Courtray. We hearfrom Paris, that the King has ordered the militia on the coasts ofNormandy and Bretagne to be in a readiness to march; and that the Courtwas in apprehension of a descent, to animate the people to rise in themidst of their present hardships. 

They write from Spain, that the Pope's Nuncio left Madrid the 10th ofApril, in order to go to Bayonne; that the Marquis de Bay was at Badajosto observe the motions of the Portuguese; and that the Count d'Estain, with a body of 5000 men, was on his march to attack Gironne. The Dukeof Anjou has deposed the Bishop of Lerida, as being a favourer of theinterest of King Charles; and has summoned a convocation at Madrid, composed of the archbishops, bishops and states of that kingdom, wherein he hopes they will come to a resolution to send for no morebulls to Rome. 

[Footnote 130: John Morphew was the publisher of the _Tatler_. ]

[Footnote 131: See No. 4. ]

[Footnote 132: Stockjobbers, who contract for a sale of stock which theydo not possess, are called sellers of bearskins; and universally whoeversells what he does not possess was said to sell the bear's skin, whilethe bear runs in the woods. "You never heard such bellowing about thetown of the state of the nation, especially among the sharpers, sellersof bearskins--_i. E. _ stockjobbers, &c. " (Swift). See No. 38. ]

[Footnote 133: Dr. Richard Bentley, Master of Trinity College, Cambridge, took a leading part in the controversy regarding thegenuineness of the Epistles of Phalaris. In 1709 he published criticalnotes on the Tusculan Disputations. ]

[Footnote 134: There are several sneers at the members of the RoyalSociety in the _Tatler_. ]

[Footnote 135: See No. 1. ]

[Footnote 136: See No. 4. ]

[Footnote 137: William Bullock was a comic actor whose abilities arepraised by Gildon and others. He was the original Sir Tunbelly Clumsy inVanbrugh's "Relapse. " Later on in this number (p. 70), Steele says thatBullock had a peculiar talent of looking like a fool, and in No. 188 hecompares Bullock and Pinkethman in a satirical vein. ]

[Footnote 138: Perhaps Colonel Hunter, afterwards Governor of New York;or Colonel Brett, one of the managers of Drury Lane Theatre. ]

[Footnote 139: See No. 34. ]

[Footnote 140: The pun is, of course, on the word "unmarred. "]

[Footnote 141: By Thomas Shadwell, 1676. ]

[Footnote 142: See note on p. 67, above. ]

No. 8. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, April 26. _ to _Thursday, April 28_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Wills Coffee-house, April 26. 

The play of "The London Cuckolds"[143] was acted this evening before asuitable audience, who were extremely well diverted with that heap ofvice and absurdity. The indignation which Eugenio, who is a gentlemanof a just taste, has, upon occasion of seeing human nature fall so lowin their delights, made him, I thought, expatiate upon the mention ofthis play very agreeably. "Of all men living, " said he, "I pity players(who must be men of good understanding to be capable of being such) thatthey are obliged to repeat and assume proper gestures for representingthings, of which their reason must be ashamed, and which they mustdisdain their audience for approving. The amendment of these lowgratifications is only to be made by people of condition, by encouragingthe presentation of the noble characters drawn by Shakespeare andothers, from whence it is impossible to return without strongimpressions of honour and humanity. On these occasions, distress is laidbefore us with all its causes and consequences, and our resentmentplaced according to the merit of the persons afflicted. Were dramas ofthis nature more acceptable to the taste of the town, men who havegenius would bend their studies to excel in them. How forcible an effectthis would have on our minds, one needs no more than to observe howstrongly we are touched by mere pictures. Who can see Le Brun's[144]picture of the Battle of Porus, without entering into the character ofthat fierce gallant man, [145] and being accordingly spurred to anemulation of his constancy and courage? When he is falling with hiswound, the features are at the same time very terrible and languishing;and there is such a stern faintness diffused through his look, as isapt to move a kind of horror, as well as pity, in the beholder. This, Isay, is an effect wrought by mere lights and shades; consider also arepresentation made by words only, as in an account given by a goodwriter: Catiline in Sallust makes just such a figure as Porus by LeBrun. It is said of him, 'Catilina vero longe a suis inter hostiumcadavera repertus est; paululum etiam spirans, ferocitatemque animi quamvivus habuerat in vultu retinens. '[146] ('Catiline was found killed farfrom his own men among the dead bodies of the enemy: he seemed still tobreathe, and still retained in his face the same fierceness he had whenhe was living. ') You have in that one sentence, a lively impression ofhis whole life and actions. What I would insinuate from all this, is, that if the painter and the historian can do thus much in colours andlanguage, what may not be performed by an excellent poet, when thecharacter he draws is presented by the person, the manner, the look, andthe motion, of an accomplished player? If a thing painted or related canirresistibly enter our hearts, what may not be brought to pass by seeinggenerous things performed before our eyes?" Eugenio ended his discourse, by recommending the apt use of a theatre, as the most agreeable and easymethod of making a polite and moral gentry, which would end in renderingthe rest of the people regular in their behaviour, and ambitious oflaudable undertakings. 

St. James's Coffee-house, April 27. 

Letters from Naples of the 9th instant, N. S. , advise, that CardinalGrimani had ordered the regiment commanded by General Pate to marchtowards Final, in order to embark for Catalonia, whither also athousand horse are to be transported from Sardinia, besides the troopswhich come from the Milanese. An English man-of-war has taken twoprizes, one a vessel of Malta, the other of Genoa, both laden with goodsof the enemy. They write from Florence of the 13th, that his Majesty ofDenmark had received a courier from the Hague, with an account of somematters relating to the treaty of a peace; upon which he declared, thathe thought it necessary to hasten to his own dominions. 

Letters from Switzerland inform us, that the effects of the greatscarcity of corn in France were felt at Geneva; the magistrates of whichcity had appointed deputies to treat with the cantons of Berne andZurich, for leave to buy up such quantities of grain within theirterritories as should be thought necessary. The Protestants ofTockenburg are still in arms about the convent of St. John, and havedeclared, that they will not lay them down, till they shall havesufficient security from the Roman Catholics, of living unmolested inthe exercise of their religion. In the meantime the deputies of Berneand Tockenburg have frequent conferences at Zurich, with the regency ofthat canton, to find out methods for the quieting these disorders. 

Letters from the Hague of the 3rd of May advise, that the PresidentRouillé, after his last conference with the deputies of the States, hadretired to Bodegrave, five miles distant from Worden, and expected thereturn of a courier from France on the 4th, with new instructions. It issaid, if his answer from the French Court shall not prove satisfactory, he will be desired to withdraw out of these parts. In the meantime it isalso reported, that his equipage, as an ambassador on this greatoccasion, is actually on the march towards him. They write fromFlanders, that the great convoy of provisions, which set out from Ghent, is safely arrived at Lille. Those advices add, that the enemy hadassembled near Tournay a considerable body of troops drawn out of theneighbouring garrisons. Their high mightinesses having sent orders totheir Ministers at Hamburg and Dantzic, to engage the magistrates ofthose cities to forbid the sale of corn to the French, and to signify tothem, that the Dutch merchants will buy up as much of that commodity asthey can spare, the Hamburgers have accordingly contracted with theDutch, and refused any commerce with the French on that occasion. 

From my own Apartment. 

After the lassitude of a day spent in the strolling manner, which isusual with men of pleasure in this town, and with a head full of amillion of impertinences, which had danced round it for ten hourstogether, I came to my lodging, and hastened to bed. My_valet-de-chambre_[147] knows my University trick of reading there; andhe being: a good scholar for a gentleman, ran over the names of Horace, Tibullus, Ovid, and others, to know which I would have. "Bring Virgil, "said I, "and if I fall asleep, take care of the candle. " I read thesixth book over with the most exquisite delight, and had gone halfthrough it a second time, when the pleasing ideas of Elysian Fields, deceased worthies walking in them, sincere lovers enjoying theirlanguishment without pain, compassion for the unhappy spirits who hadmisspent their short daylight, and were exiled from the seats of blissfor ever; I say, I was deep again in my reading, when this mixture ofimages had taken place of all others in my imagination before, andlulled me into a dream, from which I am just awake, to my greatdisadvantage. The happy mansions of Elysium by degrees seemed to bewafted from me, and the very traces of my late waking thoughts began tofade away, when I was cast by a sudden whirlwind upon an island, encompassed with a roaring and troubled sea, which shaked its verycentre, and rocked its inhabitants as in a cradle. The islanders lay ontheir faces, without offering to look up, or hope for preservation; allher harbours were crowded with mariners, and tall vessels of war lay indanger of being driven to pieces on her shores. "Bless me!" said I, "whyhave I lived in such a manner that the convulsion of nature should be soterrible to me, when I feel in myself, that the better part of me is tosurvive it? Oh! may that be in happiness. " A sudden shriek, in which thewhole people on their faces joined, interrupted my soliloquy, and turnedmy eyes and attention to the object which had given us that suddenstart, in the midst of an inconsolable and speechless affliction. Immediately the winds grew calm, the waves subsided, and the peoplestood up, turning their faces upon a magnificent pile in the midst ofthe island. There we beheld an hero of a comely and erect aspect, butpale and languid, sitting under a canopy of state. By the faces and dumbsorrow of those who attended we thought him in the article of death. Ata distance sat a lady, whose life seemed to hang upon the same threadwith his: she kept her eyes fixed upon him, and seemed to smother tenthousand thousand nameless things, which urged her tenderness to clasphim in her arms: but her greatness of spirit overcame those sentiments, and gave her power to forbear disturbing his last moment; whichimmediately approached. The hero looked up with an air of negligence, and satiety of being, rather than of pain to leave it; and leaning backhis head, expired. [148]

When the heroine, who sat at a distance, saw his last instant come, shethrew herself at his feet, and kneeling, pressed his hand to her lips;in which posture she continued under the agony of an unutterable sorrow, till conducted from our sight by her attendants. That commanding awe, which accompanies the grief of great minds, restrained the multitudewhile in her presence; but as soon as she retired, they gave way totheir distraction, and all the islanders called upon their deceasedhero. To him, methought, they cried out, as to a guardian being, and Igathered from their broken accents, that it was he who had the empireover the ocean and its powers, by which he had long protected the islandfrom shipwreck and invasion. They now give a loose to their moan, andthink themselves exposed without hopes of human or divine assistance. While the people ran wild, and expressed all the different forms oflamentation, methought a sable cloud overshadowed the whole land, andcovered its inhabitants with darkness: no glimpse of light appeared, except one ray from heaven upon the place in which the heroine nowsecluded herself from the world, with her eyes fixed on those abodes towhich her consort was ascended. [149] Methought, a long period of timehad passed away in mourning and in darkness, when a twilight began bydegrees to enlighten the hemisphere; and looking round me, I saw a boatrowed towards the shore, in which sat a personage adorned with warliketrophies, bearing on his left arm a shield, on which was engraven theimage of Victory, and in his right hand a branch of olive. His visagewas at once so winning and so awful, that the shield and the oliveseemed equally suitable to his genius. 

When this illustrious person[150] touched on the shore, he was receivedby the acclamations of the people, and followed to the palace of theheroine. No pleasure in the glory of her arms, or the acclamationsof her applauding subjects, were ever capable to suspend her sorrow forone moment, until she saw the olive branch in the hand of thatauspicious messenger. At that sight, as Heaven bestows its blessings onthe wants and importunities of mortals, out of its native bounty, andnot to increase its own power, or honour, in compassion to the world, the celestial mourner was then first seen to turn her regard to thingsbelow; and taking the branch out of the warrior's hand, looked at itwith much satisfaction, and spoke of the blessings of peace, with avoice and accent, such as that in which guardian spirits whisper todying penitents assurances of happiness. The air was hushed, themultitude attentive, and all nature in a pause, while she was speaking. But as soon as the messenger of peace had made some low reply, inwhich, methought, I heard the word Iberia, the heroine assuming a moresevere air, but such as spoke resolution, without rage, returned himthe olive, and again veiled her face. Loud cries and clashing of armsimmediately followed, which forced me from my charming vision, anddrove me back to these mansions of care and sorrow. [151]

[Footnote 143: A very coarse play by Edward Ravenscroft, produced in1682, and often acted on Lord Mayors' days and other holidays. ]

[Footnote 144: Charles Le Brun, who was born in 1619, and died in 1690, was the son of a sculptor, of Scotch extraction. Under Colbert'spatronage he founded the Academy of Painting and Sculpture, at Paris, and he received many honours from Louis XIV. Le Brun's painting of theDefeat of Porus is 16 feet high and 39 feet 5 inches long. ]

[Footnote 145: Porus was an Indian king who was defeated and put todeath by Alexander the Great. See Q. Curtius, viii. 12, 14. ]

[Footnote 146: "Bell. Catil. " cap. 61. ]

[Footnote 147: Steele seems to have forgotten that he was IsaacBickerstaff, Esq. , and had only an old maid-servant. (Nichols. )]

[Footnote 148: Prince George of Denmark, the consort of Queen Anne, diedon October 21, 1708, after a few days' illness. This dream gives apicture of the state of England from his death until the conclusion ofthe negotiations at the Hague in 1709. ]

[Footnote 149: The mourning of Queen Anne was so long that themanufacturers remonstrated, and secured a limit to the duration ofpublic mournings. ]

[Footnote 150: About this time the D[uke]. Of M[arlborough]. Returnedfrom Holland with the preliminaries of a peace. --(Steele. )]

[Footnote 151: "Mr. Bickerstaff thanks Mr. Quarterstaff for his kind andinstructive letter dated the 26th instant" (folio). ]

No. 9. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, April 28_, to _Saturday, April 30_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, April 28. 

This evening we were entertained with "The Old Bachelor, "[152] a comedyof deserved reputation. In the character which gives name to the play, there is excellently represented the reluctance of a battered debaucheeto come into the trammels of order and decency: he neither languishesnor burns, but frets for love. The gentlemen of more regular behaviourare drawn with much spirit and wit, and the drama introduced by thedialogue of the first scene with uncommon, yet natural conversation. Thepart of Fondlewife is a lively image of the unseasonable fondness of ageand impotence. But instead of such agreeable works as these, the townhas this half age been tormented with insects called "easy writers, "whose abilities Mr. Wycherley one day described excellently well in oneword: "That, " said he, "among these fellows is called easy writing, which any one may easily write. " Such jaunty scribblers are so justlylaughed at for their sonnets on Phillis and Chloris, and fantasticaldescriptions in them, that an ingenious kinsman of mine, [153] of thefamily of the Staffs, Mr. Humphrey Wagstaff by name, has, to avoid theirstrain, run into a way perfectly new, and described things exactly asthey happen: he never forms fields, or nymphs, or groves, where they arenot, but makes the incidents just as they really appear. For an exampleof it; I stole out of his manuscript the following lines: they are aDescription of the Morning, but of the morning in town; nay, of themorning at this end of the town, where my kinsman at present lodges. 

 Now hardly here and there an hackney coach Appearing, showed the ruddy morn's approach. Now Betty from her master's bed had flown, And softly stole to discompose her own. The slipshod 'prentice from his master's door, Had pared the street, and sprinkled round the floor. Now Moll had whirled her mop with dext'rous airs, Prepared to scrub the entry and the stairs. The youth with broomy stumps began to trace The kennel edge, where wheels had worn the place. The smallcoal-man was heard with cadence deep, Till drowned in shriller notes of chimney-sweep. Duns at his lordship's gate began to meet; And Brickdust Moll had screamed through half a street; The turnkey now his flock returning sees, Duly let out at nights to steal for fees. The watchful bailiffs take their silent stands; And schoolboys lag with satchels in their hands. 

All that I apprehend is, that dear Numps will be angry I have publishedthese lines; not that he has any reason to be ashamed of them, but forfear of those rogues, the bane to all excellent performances, theimitators. Therefore, beforehand, I bar all descriptions of theevenings; as, a medley of verses signifying, grey-peas are now criedwarm: that wenches now begin to amble round the passages of theplayhouse: or of noon; as, that fine ladies and great beaux are justyawning out of their beds and windows in Pall Mall, and so forth. Iforewarn also all persons from encouraging any draughts after mycousin; and foretell any man who shall go about to imitate him, that hewill be very insipid. The family stock is embarked in this design, andwe will not admit of counterfeits: Dr. Anderson[154] and his heirs enjoyhis pills, Sir. William Read[155] has the cure of eyes, and MonsieurRozelli[156] can only cure the gout. We pretend to none of these things;but to examine who and who are together, to tell any mistaken man he isnot what he believes he is, to distinguish merit, and expose falsepretences to it, is a liberty our family has by law in them, from anintermarriage with a daughter of Mr. Scoggan, [157] the famous droll ofthe last century. This right I design to make use of; but will notencroach upon the above-mentioned adepts, or any other. At the sametime I shall take all the privileges I may, as an Englishman, and willlay hold of the late Act of Naturalisation[158] to introduce what Ishall think fit from France. The use of that law may, I hope, beextended to people the polite world with new characters, as well as thekingdom itself with new subjects. Therefore an author of that nation, called La Bruyère, I shall make bold with on such occasions. The lastperson I read of in that writer, was Lord Timon. [159] Timon, says myauthor, is the most generous of all men; but is so hurried away withthat strong impulse of bestowing, that he confers benefits withoutdistinction, and is munificent without laying obligations. For all theunworthy, who receive from him, have so little sense of this nobleinfirmity, that they look upon themselves rather as partners in a spoil, than partakers of a bounty. The other day, coming into Paris, I metTimon going out on horseback, attended only by one servant. It struck mewith a sudden damp, to see a man of so excellent a disposition, and thatunderstood making a figure so very well, so much shortened in hisretinue. But passing by his house, I saw his great coach break to piecesbefore his door, and by a strange enchantment, immediately turned intomany different vehicles. The first was a very pretty chariot, into whichstepped his lordship's secretary. The second was hung a little heavier;into that strutted the fat steward. In an instant followed a chaise, which was entered by the butler. The rest of the body and wheels wereforthwith changed into go-carts, and ran away with by the nurses andbrats of the rest of the family. What makes these misfortunes in theaffairs of Timon the more astonishing, is, that he has a betterunderstanding than those who cheat him; so that a man knows not whichmore to wonder at, the indifference of the master, or the impudence ofthe servant. 

White's Chocolate-house, April 29. 

It is matter of much speculation among the beaux and oglers, what it isthat can have made so sudden a change, as has been of late observed, inthe whole behaviour of Pastorella, who never sat still a moment till shewas eighteen, which she has now exceeded by two months. Her aunt, whohas the care of her, has not been always so rigid as she is at thispresent date; but has so good a sense of the frailty of woman, andfalsehood of man, that she resolved on all manner of methods to keepPastorella, if possible, in safety, against herself, and all heradmirers. At the same time the good lady knew by long experience, thata gay inclination, curbed too rashly, would but run to the greaterexcesses for that restraint: therefore intended to watch her, and takesome opportunity of engaging her insensibly in her own interests, without the anguish of an admonition. You are to know then, that miss, with all her flirting and ogling, had also naturally a strong curiosityin her, and was the greatest eavesdropper breathing. Parisatis (for soher prudent aunt is called) observed this humour, and retires one day toher closet, into which she knew Pastorella would peep, and listen toknow how she was employed. It happened accordingly, and the young ladysaw her good governante on her knees, and after a mental behaviour, break into these words: "As for the dear child committed to my care, lether sobriety of carriage, and severity of behaviour, be such, as maymake that noble lord, who is taken with her beauty, turn his designs tosuch as are honourable. " Here Parisatis heard her niece nestle closer tothe keyhole: she then goes on; "Make her the joyful mother of a numerousand wealthy offspring, and let her carriage be such, as may make thisnoble youth expect the blessings of an happy marriage, from thesingularity of her life, in this loose and censorious age. " Miss havingheard enough, sneaks off for fear of discovery, and immediately at herglass, alters the sitting of her head; then pulls up her tucker, [160]and forms herself into the exact manner of Lindamira: in a word, becomesa sincere convert to everything that's commendable in a fine young lady;and two or three such matches as her aunt feigned in her devotions, areat this day in her choice. This is the history and original cause ofPastorella's conversion from coquetry. The prudence in the managementof this young lady's temper, and good judgment of it, is hardly to beexceeded. I scarce remember a greater instance of forbearance of theusual peevish way with which the aged treat the young, than this, exceptthat of our famous Noye, [161] whose good nature went so far, as to makehim put off his admonitions to his son, even till after his death; anddid not give him his thoughts of him, till he came to read thatmemorable passage in his will: "All the rest of my estate, " says he, "Ileave to my son Edward (who is executor to this my will) to besquandered as he shall think fit: I leave it him for that purpose, andhope no better from him. " A generous disdain and reflection, upon howlittle he deserved from so excellent a father, reformed the young man, and made Edward, from an errant rake, become a fine gentleman. 

St. James's Coffee-house, April 29. 

Letters from Portugal of the 18th instant, dated from Estremos, say, that on the 6th the Earl of Galway arrived at that place, and had thesatisfaction to see the quarters well furnished with all manner ofprovisions, and a quantity of bread sufficient for subsisting the troopsfor sixty days, besides biscuits for twenty-five days. The enemy giveout, that they shall bring into the field 14 regiments of horse, and 24battalions. The troops in the service of Portugal will make up 14, 000foot, and 4000 horse. On the day these letters were despatched, theEarl of Galway received advice, that the Marquis de Bay was preparingfor some enterprise, by gathering his troops together on the frontiers. Whereupon his Excellency resolved to go that same night to Villa-Vicosa, to assemble the troops in that neighbourhood, in order to disappoint hisdesigns. 

Yesterday in the evening Captain Foxon, aide-de-camp to Major-GeneralCadogan, arrived here express from the Duke of Marlborough. And this daya mail is come in, with letters dated from Brussels of the 6th of May, N. S. , which advise, that the enemy had drawn together a body, consistingof 20, 000 men, with a design, as was supposed, to intercept the greatconvoy on the march towards Lille, which was safely arrived at Menin andCourtray, in its way to that place, the French having retired withoutmaking any attempt. 

We hear from the Hague, that a person of the first quality is arrived inthe Low Countries from France, in order to be a plenipotentiary in anensuing treaty of peace. 

Letters from France acknowledge, that Monsieur Bernard has made nohigher offers of satisfaction to his creditors than of £35 per cent. 

These advices add, that the Marshal Boufflers, Monsieur Torcy (whodistinguished himself formerly, by advising the Court of France toadhere to the treaty of partition), and Monsieur d'Harcourt (whonegotiated with Cardinal Portocarrero for the succession of the crown ofSpain in the House of Bourbon), are all three joined in a commission fora treaty of peace. The Marshal is come to Ghent: the other two arearrived at the Hague. 

It is confidently reported here that the Right Honourable the LordTownshend is to go with his Grace the Duke of Marlborough intoHolland. [162]

[Footnote 152: Congreve's first play, produced in 1693. See also No. 193. This piece is attacked in Jeremy Collier's "Short View of theProfaneness and Immorality of the English Stage, " 1698. ]

[Footnote 153: Swift. ]

[Footnote 154: A Scotch physician in the reigns of Charles I. AndCharles II. An advertisement of his "famous Scots Pills" requested thepublic to beware of counterfeits, especially an ignorant pretender, oneMuffen, who kept a china-shop. ]

[Footnote 155: "Henley would fain have me to go with Steele and Rowe, &c. , to an invitation at Sir William Read's. Surely you have heard ofhim. He has been a mountebank, and is the Queen's oculist; he makesadmirable punch, and treats you in gold vessels. But I am engaged, andwon't go; neither indeed am I fond of the jaunt" (Swift's "Journal, "April 11, 1711). Read was knighted in 1705, for services done in curingsoldiers and sailors of blindness gratis. Beginning life as a tailor, hebecame Queen Anne's oculist in ordinary, and died in 1715. See_Spectator_, No. 547. ]

[Footnote 156: Rozelli, the inventor of a specific for the gout, died atthe Hague. In No. 33 was an advertisement of the "Memoirs of the Lifeand Adventures of Signior Rozelli, at the Hague, giving a particularaccount of his birth, education, slavery, monastic state, imprisonmentin the Inquisition at Rome, and the different figures he has since made, as well in Italy, as in France and Holland. . . . Done into English fromthe second edition of the French. " This work, like the continuation of1724, has been wrongly attributed to Defoe. Rozelli advertised in the_London Gazette_, for July 19, 1709, that the book was entirelyfictitious, and a libel upon his character. ]

[Footnote 157: We learn from Ben Jonson, that Scoggan, or Skogan, wasM. A. , and lived in the time of Henry IV. "He made disguises for theKing's sons, writ in ballad-royal daintily well, and was regarded andrewarded. " Jonson calls him the moral Skogan; and introduces him withSkelton, the poet laureate of Henry VIII. , into his Masque, entitled"The Fortunate Isles, " where he keeps them in character, and makes themrhyme in their own manner. ]

[Footnote 158: 7 Anne, cap. 5, was an "Act for naturalising ForeignProtestants. " After the preamble, "Whereas many strangers of theProtestant or reformed religion would be induced to transport themselvesand their estates into this kingdom, if they might be made partakers ofthe advantages and privileges which the natural-born subjects thereof doenjoy, " it was enacted that all persons taking the oaths, and making andsubscribing the declaration appointed by 6 Anne, cap. 23, should bedeemed natural-born subjects; but no person was to have the benefit ofthis Act unless he received the sacrament. The Act was repealed by 10Anne, c. 5, because "divers mischiefs and inconveniences have been foundby experience to follow from the same, to the discouragement of thenatural-born subjects of this kingdom, and to the detriment of the tradeand wealth thereof. "]

[Footnote 159: It has been alleged that there is here an allusion to theDuke of Ormond, whose servants enriched themselves at their master'sexpense (see _Examiner_, vol. Iii. P. 48). But in the _Guardian_, No. 53, Steele, writing in his own name, declared that the character ofTimon was not disgraceful, and that when he drew it he thought itresembled himself more than any one else. ]

[Footnote 160: The tucker, an edging round the top of a low dress, beganto be discontinued about 1713, as appears from complaints in the_Guardian_, _passim_. ]

[Footnote 161: "William Noye, of St. Burian in Cornwall, gentleman, wasmade Attorney-General in 1631; his will is dated June 3, 1634, about amonth or six weeks before his death. The expedient did not operate analteration in his son so altogether favourable; for within two yearsEdward was slain in a duel by one Captain Byron, who was pardoned forit" (Wood's "Athen. Oxon. " 1691, i. 506). Noye's character is drawn inthe first book of Clarendon's "History of the Civil War. "]

[Footnote 162: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received the epistles of Mrs. Rebecca Wagstaff, Timothy Pikestaff and Wagstaff, which he willacknowledge farther as occasion shall serve" (folio). ]

No. 10. [STEELE. 

By Mrs. [163] JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF. 

From _Saturday, April 30_, to _Tuesday, May 3_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 1. 

My brother Isaac having a sudden occasion to go out of town, ordered meto take upon me the despatch of the next advices from home, with libertyto speak it my own way; not doubting the allowances which would be givento a writer of my sex. You may be sure I undertook it with muchsatisfaction, and I confess, I am not a little pleased with theopportunity of running over all the papers in his closet, which he hasleft open for my use on this occasion. The first that I lay my hands on, is, a treatise concerning "The Empire of Beauty, " and the effects ithas had in all nations of the world, upon the public and private actionsof men; with an appendix, which he calls, "The Bachelor's Scheme forGoverning his Wife. " The first thing he makes this gentleman propose, is, that she shall be no woman; for she is to have an aversion to balls, to operas, to visits: she is to think his company sufficient to fill upall the hours of life with great satisfaction: she is never to believeany other man wise, learned, or valiant; or at least but in a seconddegree. In the next place, he intends she shall be a cuckold; butexpects, that he himself must live in perfect security from that terror. He dwells a great while on instructions for her discreet behaviour, incase of his falsehood. I have not patience with these unreasonableexpectations, therefore turn back to the treatise itself. Here, indeed, my brother deduces all the revolutions among men from the passion oflove; and in his preface, answers that usual observation against us, that there is no quarrel without a woman in it, with a gallantassertion, that there is nothing else worth quarrelling for. My brotheris of a complexion truly amorous; all his thoughts and actions carry inthem a tincture of that obliging inclination; and this turn has openedhis eyes to see, we are not the inconsiderable creatures which unluckypretenders to our favour would insinuate. He observes that no man beginsto make any tolerable figure, till he sets out with the hopes ofpleasing some one of us. No sooner he takes that in hand, but he pleasesevery one else by-the-bye. It has an immediate effect upon hisbehaviour. There is Colonel Ranter, who never spoke without an oath, till he saw the Lady Betty Modish;[164] now never gives his man anorder, but it is, "Pray, Tom, do it. " The drawers where he drinks livein perfect happiness. He asked Will at the "George" the other day how hedid? Where he used to say, "Damn it, it is so, " he now believes there issome mistake: he must confess, he is of another opinion; but however hewon't insist. 

Every temper, except downright insipid, is to be animated and softenedby the influence of beauty: but of this untractable sort is a lifelesshandsome fellow that visits us, whom I have dressed at this twelvemonth;but he is as insensible of all the arts I use, as if he conversed allthat time with his nurse. He outdoes our whole sex in all the faults ourenemies impute to us; he has brought laziness into an opinion, and makeshis indolence his philosophy: insomuch, that no longer ago thanyesterday in the evening he gave me this account of himself: "I am, madam, perfectly unmoved at all that passes among men, and seldom givemyself the fatigue of going among them; but when I do, I always appearthe same thing to those whom I converse with. My hours of existence, orbeing awake, are from eleven in the morning to eleven at night; half ofwhich I live to myself, in picking my teeth, washing my hands, paring mynails, and looking in the glass. The insignificancy of my manners to therest of the world makes the laughers call me a _quidnunc_, a phrase Ishall never inquire what they mean by it. The last of me each night isat St. James's Coffee-house, where I converse, yet never fall into adispute on any occasion, but leave the understanding I have, passive ofall that goes through it, without entering into the business of life. And thus, madam, have I arrived by laziness, to what others pretend toby devotion, a perfect neglect of the world. " Sure, if our sex had theliberty of frequenting public-houses and conversations, we should putthese rivals of our faults and follies out of countenance. However, weshall soon have the pleasure of being acquainted with them one way orother, for my brother Isaac designs, for the use of our sex, to give theexact characters of all the chief politicians who frequent any of thecoffee-houses from St. James's to the Change; but designs to begin withthat cluster of wise heads, as they are found sitting every evening, from the left side of the fire, at the Smyrna, [165] to the door. Thiswill be of great service for us, and I have authority to promise anexact journal of their deliberations; the publication of which I am tobe allowed for pin-money. In the meantime, I cast my eye upon a newbook, which gave me a more pleasing entertainment, being a sixth part of"Miscellany Poems, " published by Jacob Tonson, [166] which I find, by mybrother's notes upon it, no way inferior to the other volumes. Thereare, it seems, in this, a collection of the best pastorals that havehitherto appeared in England; but among them, none superior to thatdialogue between Sylvia and Dorinda, written by one of my own sex, [167]where all our little weaknesses are laid open in a manner more just, and with, truer raillery than ever man yet hit upon. 

 _Only this I now discern. From the things thou'st have me learn; That womankind's peculiar joys From past or present beauties rise. _

But to reassume my first design, there cannot be a greater instance ofthe command of females, than in the prevailing charms of the heroine inthe play which was acted this night, called "All for Love; or, The WorldWell Lost. "[168] The enamoured Antony resigns glory and power to theforce of the attractive Cleopatra, whose charms were the defence of herdiadem, against a people otherwise invincible. It is so natural forwomen to talk of themselves, that it is to be hoped all my own sex, atleast, will pardon me, that I could fall into no other discourse. If wehave their favour, we give ourselves very little anxiety for the rest ofour readers. I believe I see a sentence of Latin in my brother'sday-book of wit, which seems applicable on this occasion, and incontempt of the critics. 

 --_Tristitiam et metus Tradam protectis in mare Criticum Portare ventis. _[169]

But I am interrupted by a packet from Mr. Kidney, [170] from the St. James's Coffee-house, which I am obliged to insert in the very style andwords which Mr. Kidney uses in his letter. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 2. 

We are advised by letters from Berne, dated the 1st instant, N. S. , thatthe Duke of Berwick arrived at Lyons the 25th of the last month, andcontinued his journey the next day to visit the passes of the mountains, and other posts in Dauphine and Provence. These letters also informedus, that the miseries of the people in France are heightened to thatdegree, that unless a peace be speedily concluded, half of that kingdomwould perish for want of bread. On the 24th, the Marshal de Thessepassed through Lyons, in his way to Versailles; and two battalions, which were marching from Alsace to reinforce the army of the Duke ofBerwick, passed also through that place. Those troops were to befollowed by six Battalions more. 

Letters from Naples of the 16th of April say, that the Marquis de Prie'sson was arrived there, with instructions from his father, to signify tothe viceroy the necessity his Imperial Majesty was under, of desiring anaid from that kingdom, for carrying on the extraordinary expenses of thewar. On the 14th of the same month, they made a review of the Spanishtroops in that garrison, and afterwards of the marines; one part of whomwill embark with those designed for Barcelona, and the rest are to besent on board the galleys appointed to convoy provisions to that place. 

We hear from Rome, by letters dated the 20th of April, that the Count deMellos, envoy from the King of Portugal, had made his public entry intothat city with much state and magnificence. The Pope has lately held twoother consistories, wherein he made a promotion of two cardinals; butthe acknowledgment of King Charles is still deferred. 

Letters from other parts of Italy advise us, that the Doge of Venicecontinues dangerously ill: that the Prince de Carignan, having relapsedinto a violent fever, died the 23rd of April, in his 80th year. 

Advices from Vienna of the 27th of April import, that the Archbishop ofSaltzburg is dead, who is succeeded by Count Harrach, formerly Bishop ofVienna, and for these last three years coadjutor to the said Archbishop;and that Prince Maximilian of Lichtenstein has likewise departed thislife, at his country seat called Cromaw in Moravia. These advices add, that the Emperor has named Count Zinzendorf, Count Goes, and MonsieurConsbruck, for his plenipotentiaries in an ensuing treaty of peace; andthey hear from Hungary, that the Imperialists have had severalsuccessful skirmishes with the malcontents. 

Letters from Paris, dated May the 6th, say, that the Marshal de Thessearrived there on the 29th of the last month; and that the Chevalier deBeuil was sent thither by Don Pedro Ronquillo with advice, that theconfederate squadron appeared before Alicante the 17th, and having forsome time cannonaded the city, endeavoured to land some troops for therelief of the castle; but General Stanhope finding the passes wellguarded, and the enterprise dangerous, demanded to capitulate for thecastle; which being granted him, the garrison, consisting of 600 regulartroops, marched out with their arms and baggage the day following; andbeing received on board, they immediately set sail for Barcelona. Theseletters add, that the march of the French and Swiss regiments is furtherdeferred for a few days; and that the Duke of Noailles was just ready toset out for Roussillon, as well as the Count de Bezons for Catalonia. 

The same advices say, bread was sold at Paris for 6d. Per pound; andthat there was not half enough, even at that rate, to supply thenecessities of the people, which reduced them to the utmost despair;that 300 men had taken up arms, and having plundered the market of thesuburb St. Germain, pressed down by their multitude the King's Guardswho opposed them. Two of those mutineers were afterwards seized, andcondemned to death; but four others went to the magistrate whopronounced that sentence, and told him, he must expect to answer withhis own life for those of their comrades. All order and sense ofgovernment being thus lost among the enraged people, to keep up a showof authority, the captain of the Guards, who saw all their insolence, pretended, that he had represented to the King their deplorablecondition, and had obtained their pardon. It is further reported, thatthe Dauphin and Duchess of Burgundy, as they went to the Opera, weresurrounded by crowds of people, who upbraided them with their neglect ofthe general calamity, in going to diversions, when the whole people wereready to perish for want of bread. Edicts are daily published tosuppress these riots, and papers, with menaces against the Government, are publicly thrown about. Among others, these words were dropped in acourt of justice: "France wants a Ravilliac or a Jesuit to deliver her. "Besides this universal distress, there is a contagious sickness, which, it is feared, will end in a pestilence. Letters from Bordeaux bringaccounts no less lamentable: the peasants are driven by hunger fromtheir abodes into that city, and make lamentations in the streetswithout redress. 

We are advised by letters from the Hague, dated the 10th instant, N. S. , that on the 6th, the Marquis de Torcy arrived there from Paris; but thepassport, by which he came, having been sent blank by Monsieur Rouillé, he was there two days before his quality was known. That Ministeroffered to communicate to Monsieur Heinsius the proposals which he hadto make; but the pensionary refused to see them, and said, he wouldsignify it to the States, who deputed some of their own body to acquainthim, That they would enter into no negotiation till the arrival of hisGrace the Duke of Marlborough, and the other Ministers of the Alliance. Prince Eugene was expected there the 12th instant from Brussels. It issaid, that besides Monsieur de Torcy and Monsieur Pajot, Director-general of the Posts, there are two or three persons at theHague whose names are not known; but it is supposed that the Duked'Alba, ambassador from the Duke of Anjou, was one of them. The Stateshave sent letters to all the cities of the Provinces, desiring them tosend their deputies to receive the propositions of peace made by theCourt of France. [171]

[Footnote 163: The word "Miss" was still confined, in Steele's day, tovery young girls or to young women of giddy or doubtful character. ThusPastorella in No. 9 is called "Miss, " and similarly we find "Miss Gruel"in No. 33. In the "Original Letters to the _Tatler_ and _Spectator_, "printed by Charles Lillie (i. 223) there is a "Table of the Titles andDistinctions of Women, " from which what follows is extracted. "Let allcountry-gentlewomen, without regard to more or less fortune, contentthemselves with being addressed by the style of 'Mrs. ' Let 'Madam'govern independently in the city, &c. Let no women after the known ageof 21 presume to admit of her being called 'Miss, ' unless she can fairlyprove she is not out of her sampler. Let every common maid-servant beplain 'Jane, ' 'Doll, ' or 'Sue, ' and let the better-born andhigher-placed be distinguished by 'Mrs. Patience, ' 'Mrs. Prue, ' or 'Mrs. Abigail. '"]

[Footnote 164: Perhaps there is here an illusion to Mrs. Anne Oldfield(died 1730), and Brigadier-General Charles Churchill, brother of theDuke of Marlborough. Mrs. Oldfield acted as Lady Betty Modish inCibber's "Careless Husband, " a part which was not only written for, butcopied from her. Her son by Churchill married Lady Mary Walpole. ]

[Footnote 165: A coffee-house in Pall Mall. Swift and Prior frequentedit: "Prior and I came away at nine, and sat at the Smyrna till elevenreceiving acquaintance. " "I walked a little in the Park till Prior mademe go with him to the Smyrna Coffee-house. "--("Journal to Stella, " Oct. 15, 1710; Feb. 19, 1711. )]

[Footnote 166: The sixth and last volume of the "Dryden" MiscellanyPoems was published by Tonson in 1709. The elder Tonson, who was founderand secretary of the Kit Cat Club, died in 1736. ]

[Footnote 167: By Elizabeth Singer, who became Mrs. Rowe in 1710, anddied in 1737. Besides poems which gained for her the friendship ofPrior, Dr. Watts, and Bishop Ken, she published "Friendship in Death, intwenty letters from the Dead to the Living, " and "Letters Moral andEntertaining. "]

[Footnote 168: Dryden's version of "Antony and Cleopatra" was producedin 1673. ]

[Footnote 169: Horace, 1 Od. Xxvi. 2. The joke consists in Mrs. JennyDistaff mistaking Horace's "Creticum" for "Criticum, " and so misapplyingthe passage. ]

[Footnote 170: See No. 1. ]

[Footnote 171: "In the absence of Mr. Bickerstaff, Mrs. Distaff hasreceived Mr. Nathaniel Broomstick's letter" (folio). ]

No. 11. [STEELE. 

By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq. 

From _Tuesday May 3, _ to _Thursday, May 5_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, May 3. 

A kinsman[172] has sent me a letter, wherein he informs me, he hadlately resolved to write an heroic poem, but by business had beeninterrupted, and has only made one similitude, which he should beafflicted to have wholly lost, and begs of me to apply it to something, being very desirous to see it well placed in the world. I am so willingto help the distressed, that I have taken it in; but though his greatergenius might very well distinguish his verses from mine, I have markedwhere his begin. His lines are a description of the sun in eclipse, which I know nothing more like than a brave man in sorrow, who bears itas he should, without imploring the pity of his friends, or beingdejected with the contempt of his enemies. As in the case of Cato:

 When all the globe to Cæsar's fortune bowed, Cato alone his empire disallowed; With inborn strength alone opposed mankind, With heaven in view, to all below it blind: Regardless of his friend's applause, or moan, Alone triumphant, since he falls alone. 

 "Thus when the Ruler of the genial day, Behind some darkening planet forms his way, Desponding mortals, with officious care, The concave drum, and magic brass prepare; Implore him to sustain the important fight, And save depending worlds from endless night. Fondly they hope their labour may avail, To ease his conflict, and assist his toil. Whilst he in beams of native splendour bright, } (Though dark his orb appear to human sight) } Shines to the gods with more diffusive light. } To distant stars with equal glory burns, Inflames their lamps, and feeds their golden urns. Sure to retain his known superior tract, And proves the more illustrious by defect. "

This is a very lively image; but I must take the liberty to say, mykinsman drives the sun a little like Phaëton: he has all the warmth ofPhœbus, but won't stay for his direction of it. Avail and toil, defectand tract, will never do for rhymes. But, however, he has the truespirit in him; for which reason I was willing to entertain anything hepleased to send me. The subject which he writes upon, naturally raisesgreat reflections in the soul, and puts us in mind of the mixedcondition which we mortals are to support; which, as it varies to goodor bad, adorns or defaces our actions to the beholders: All which gloryand shame must end in what we so much repine at, death. But doctrines onthis occasion, any other than that of living well, are the mostinsignificant and most empty of all the labours of men. None but atragedian can die by rule, and wait till he discovers a plot, or says afine thing upon his exit. In real life, this is a chimera; and by noblespirits, it will be done decently, without the ostentation of it. We seemen of all conditions and characters go through it with equalresolution: and if we consider the speeches of the mighty philosophers, heroes, law-givers, and great captains, they can produce no more in adiscerning spirit, than rules to make a man a fop on his death-bed. Commend me to that natural greatness of soul, expressed by an innocent, and consequently resolute, country fellow, who said in the pains of thecolic, "If I once get this breath out of my body, you shall hang mebefore you put it in again. " Honest Ned! and so he died. [173]

But it is to be supposed, from this place you may expect an account ofsuch a thing as a new play is not to be omitted. That acted this nightis the newest that ever was writ. The author is my ingenious friend Mr. Thomas D----y. The drama is called, "The Modern Prophets, "[174] and is amost unanswerable satire against the late spirit of enthusiasm. Thewriter had by long experience observed, that in company, very gravediscourses have been followed by bawdry; and therefore has turned thehumour that way with great success, and taken from his audience allmanner of superstition, by the agitations of pretty Mrs. Bignell, [175]whom he has, with great subtlety, made a lay-sister, as well as aprophetess; by which means, she carries on the affairs of both worldswith great success. My friend designs to go on with another work againstwinter, which he intends to call, "The Modern Poets"; a people no lessmistaken in their opinions of being inspired than the other. In order tothis, he has by him seven songs, besides many ambiguities, which cannotbe mistaken for anything but what he means them. Mr. D----y generallywrites state-plays, and is wonderfully useful to the world in suchrepresentations. This method is the same that was used by old Athenians, to laugh out of countenance, or promote opinions among the people. Myfriend has therefore, against this play is acted for his own benefit, made two dances, which may be also of an universal benefit. In the firsthe has represenced absolute power, in the person of a tall man with ahat and feather, who gives his first minister, that stands just beforehim, a huge kick: the minister gives the kick to the next before; and soto the end of the stage. In this moral and practical jest, you are madeto understand, that there is, in an absolute government, nogratification, but giving the kick you receive from one above you to onebelow you. This is performed to a grave and melancholy air; but on asudden the tune moves quicker, and the whole company fall into a circleand take hands; then, at a certain sharp note, they move round, and kickas kick can. This latter performance he makes to be the representationof a free state; where, if you all mind your steps, you may go round andround very jollily, with a motion pleasant to yourselves and those youdance with: nay, if you put yourselves out, at the worst you only kick, and are kicked, like friends and equals. 

From my own Apartment, May 4. 

Of all the vanities under the sun, I confess, that of being proud ofone's birth is the greatest. At the same time, since in thisunreasonable age, by the force of prevailing custom, things in which menhave no hand are imputed to them; and that I am used by some people, asif Isaac Bickerstaff, though I write myself "Esquire, " was nobody: toset the world right in that particular, I shall give you my genealogy, as a kinsman of ours has sent it me from the Heralds' Office. It iscertain, and observed by the wisest writers, that there are women whoare not nicely chaste, and men not severely honest in all families;therefore let those who may be apt to raise aspersions upon ours, pleaseto give us as impartial an account of their own, and we shall besatisfied. The business of heralds is a matter of so great nicety, thatto avoid mistakes, I shall give you my cousin's letter verbatim, withoutaltering a syllable. [176]

"DEAR COUSIN, "Since you have been pleased to make yourself so famous of late, by youringenious writings, and some time ago by your learned Predictions: sincePartridge, of immortal memory, is dead and gone, who, poetical as hewas, could not understand his own poetry; and philomathical as he was, could not read his own destiny: since the Pope, the King of France, andgreat part of his Court, are either literally or metaphorically defunct:since, I say, these things (not foretold by any one but yourself) havecome to pass after so surprising a manner; it is with no small concern Isee the original of the Staffian race so little known in the world as itis at this time; for which reason, as you have employed your studies inastronomy and the occult sciences, so I, my mother being a Welsh woman, dedicated mine to genealogy, particularly that of our own family, which, for its antiquity and number, may challenge any in Great Britain. TheStaffs are originally of Staffordshire, which took its name from them:the first that I find of the Staffs was one Jacobstaff, a famous andrenowned astronomer, who by Dorothy his wife, had issue seven sons;viz. , Bickerstaff, Longstaff, Wagstaff, Quarterstaff, Whitestaff, Falstaff, and Tipstaff. He also had a younger brother who was twicemarried, and had five sons; viz. , Distaff, Pikestaff, Mopstaff, Broomstaff, and Raggedstaff. As for the branch from whence you spring, I shall say very little of it, only that it is the chief of the Staffs, and called Bickerstaff, _quasi_ Biggerstaff; as much as to say, thegreat staff, or staff of staffs; and that it has applied itself toastronomy with great success, after the example of our aforesaidforefather. The descendants from Longstaff, the second son, were arakish disorderly sort of people, and rambled from one place to another, till in Harry II. 's time they settled in Kent, and were calledLong-tails, from the long tails which were sent them as a punishment forthe murder of Thomas-à-Becket, as the legends say; they have been alwayssought after by the ladies; but whether it be to show their aversion topopery, or their love to miracles, I can't say. The Wagstaffs are amerry thoughtless sort of people, who have always been opinionated oftheir own wit; they have turned themselves mostly to poetry. This is themost numerous branch of our family, and the poorest. The Quarterstaffsare most of them prize-fighters or deer-stealers. There have been somany of them hanged lately, that there are very few of that branch ofour family left. The Whitestaffs[177] are all courtiers, and have hadvery considerable places: there have been some of them of that strengthand dexterity, that five hundred of the ablest men in the kingdom[178]have often tugged in vain to pull a staff out of their hands. TheFalstaffs are strangely given to whoring and drinking: there areabundance of them in and about London. And one thing is very remarkableof this branch, and that is, there are just as many women as men in it. There was a wicked stick of wood of this name in Harry IV. 's time, oneSir John Falstaff. As for Tipstaff, the youngest son, he was an honestfellow; but his sons, and his sons' sons, have all of them been theveriest rogues living: it is this unlucky branch has stocked the nationwith that swarm of lawyers, attorneys, serjeants, and bailiffs, withwhich the nation is overrun. Tipstaff, being a seventh son, used to curethe king's evil; but his rascally descendants are so far from havingthat healing quality, that by a touch upon the shoulder, they give a mansuch an ill habit of body, that he can never come abroad afterwards. This is all I know of the line of Jacobstaff: his younger brotherIsaacstaff, as I told you before, had five sons, and was married twice;his first wife was a Staff (for they did not stand upon false heraldryin those days), by whom he had one son, who in process of time, being aschoolmaster, and well read in the Greek, called himself Distaff orTwicestaff: he was not very rich, so he put his children out to trades;and the Distaffs have ever since been employed in the woollen and linenmanufactures, except myself, who am a genealogist. Pikestaff, the eldestson by the second venter, was a man of business, a downright ploddingfellow, and withal so plain, that he became a proverb. Most of thisfamily are at present in the army. Raggedstaff was an unlucky boy, andused to tear his clothes getting birds' nests, and was always playingwith a tame bear his father kept. Mopstaff fell in love with one of hisfather's maids, and used to help her to clean the house. Broomstaff wasa chimney-sweeper. The Mopstaffs and Broomstaffs are naturally as civilpeople as ever went out of doors; but alas! if they once get into illhands, they knock down all before them. Pilgrimstaff run away from hisfriends, and went strolling about the country: and Pipestaff was awine-cooper. These two were the unlawful issue of Longstaff. 

"N. B. The Canes, the Clubs, the Cudgels, the Wands, the Devil upon twoSticks, and one Bread, that goes by the name of Staff of Life, are noneof our relations. 

"I am, dear Cousin, "Your humble Servant, "D. DISTAFF. 

"From the Heralds' Office, _May 1_. "

St. James's Coffee-house, May 4. 

As politic news is not the principal subject on which we treat, we areso happy as to have no occasion for that art of cookery, which ourbrother-newsmongers so much excel in; as appears by their excellent andinimitable manner of dressing up a second time for your taste the samedish which they gave you the day before, in case there come over no newpickles from Holland. Therefore, when we have nothing to say to you fromcourts and camps, we hope still to give you somewhat new and curiousfrom ourselves: the women of our house, upon occasion, being capable ofcarrying on the business, according to the laudable custom of the wivesin Holland; but, without further preface, take what we have notmentioned in our former relations. 

Letters from Hanover of the 30th of the last month say, that the PrinceRoyal of Prussia arrived there on the 15th, and left that Court on the2nd of this month, in pursuit of his journey to Flanders, where he makesthe ensuing campaign. Those advices add, that the young Prince Nassau, hereditary governor of Friesland, consummated on the 26th of the lastmonth his marriage with the beauteous princess of Hesse-Cassel, with apomp and magnificence suitable to their age and quality. 

Letters from Paris say, his most Christian Majesty retired to Marli onthe 1st instant, N. S. , and our last advices from Spain inform us, thatthe Prince of Asturias had made his public entry into Madrid in greatsplendour. The Duke of Anjou has given Don Joseph Hartado de Amaraga thegovernment of Terra-Firma de Veragua, and the presidency of Panama inAmerica. They add, That the forces commanded by the Marquis de Bay hadbeen reinforced by six battalions of Spanish and Walloon guards. Lettersfrom Lisbon advise, That the army of the King of Portugal was at Elvason the 22nd of the last month, and would decamp on the 24th, in order tomarch upon the enemy, who lay at Badajos. 

Yesterday, at four in the morning, his Grace the Duke of Marlborough setout for Margate, and embarked for Holland at eight this morning. 

Yesterday also, Sir George Thorold was declared Alderman of Cordwainers'Ward, in the room of his brother Sir Charles Thorold, deceased. [179]

[Footnote 172: Jabez Hughes (died 1731), the author of these verses, wasthe younger brother of John Hughes. He published several translations, and his "Miscellanies in Verse and Prose" appeared in 1737. ]

[Footnote 173: "Honest Ned" was a farmer on the estate of AnthonyHenley, who mentions this saying in a letter to Swift. ]

[Footnote 174: D'Urfey's "Modern Prophets" attacked the enthusiastsknown as "French Prophets, " who were in the habit of assembling inMoorfields to exert their alleged gifts. Lord Chesterfield says that theGovernment took no steps, except to direct Powell, the puppet-show man, to make Punch turn prophet, which he did so well, that it put an end tothe fanatics. ]

[Footnote 175: See No. 3. ]

[Footnote 176: The letter is by Heneage Twysden. (See Steele's Preface. )Heneage Twysden was the seventh son of Sir William Twysden, Bart. , ofRoydon Hall, East Peckham, Kent. At the time of his death (1709, aged29) he was a captain of foot in Sir Richard Temple's Regiment, andaide-de-camp to John, Duke of Argyle. Near his monument in the northaisle of the Abbey are two other small ones to the memory of hisbrothers Josiah and John. Josiah, a captain of foot, was killed inFlanders in 1708, in his 23rd year; John was a lieutenant in theadmiral's ship, under Sir Cloudesley Shovel, and perished with him in1707, in his 24th year. [Chalmers. ]--Heneage Twysden was killed at thebattle of Blarequies. ]

[Footnote 177: The allusion is to the staff carried by the First Lord ofthe Treasury. ]

[Footnote 178: The House of Commons. ]

[Footnote 179: "Any ladies who have any particular stories of theiracquaintance, which they are willing privately to make public, may sendthem by the penny-post to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , enclosed to Mr. JohnMorphew, near Stationers' Hall" (folio). ]

No. 12. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, May 5_, to _Saturday, May 7_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

May 5. 

When a man has engaged to keep a stage-coach, he is obliged, whether hehas passengers or not, to set out: thus it fares with us weeklyhistorians; but indeed, for my particular, I hope I shall soon havelittle more to do in this work, than to publish what is sent me fromsuch as have leisure and capacity for giving delight, and being pleasedin an elegant manner. The present grandeur of the British nation mightmake us expect, that we should rise in our public diversions, and mannerof enjoying life, in proportion to our advancement in glory and power. Instead of that, take and survey this town, and you'll find, rakes anddebauchees are your men of pleasure; thoughtless atheists, andilliterate drunkards, call themselves free thinkers; and gamesters, banterers, biters, [180] swearers, and twenty new-born insects more, are, in their several species, the modern men of wit. Hence it is, that a manwho has been out of town but one half-year, has lost the language, andmust have some friend to stand by him, and keep him in countenance fortalking common sense. To-day I saw a short interlude at White's of thisnature, which I took notes of, and put together as well as I could in apublic place. The persons of the drama are, Pip, the last gentleman thathas been made so at cards; Trimmer, a person half undone at them, and isnow between a cheat and a gentleman; Acorn, an honest Englishman, ofgood plain sense and meaning; and Mr. Friendly, a reasonable man of thetown. 

White's Chocolate-house, May 5. 

[_Enter_ PIP, TRIM, _and_ ACORN. 

AC. What's the matter, gentlemen? What! Take no notice of an old friend?

PIP. Pox on it! don't talk to me, I am voweled by the Count, andcursedly out of humour. 

AC. Voweled! Prithee, Trimmer, what does he mean by that?

TRIM. Have a care, Harry, speak softly; don't show your ignorance:--Ifyou do, they'll bite you where-e'er they meet you; they are such cursedcurs, --the present wits. 

AC. Bite me! What do you mean?

PIP. Why! Don't you know what biting is? Nay, you are in the right onit. However, one would learn it only to defend oneself against men ofwit, as one would know the tricks of play, to be secure against thecheats. But don't you hear, Acorn, that report, that some potentates ofthe Alliance have taken care of themselves, exclusive of us?

AC. How! Heaven forbid! After all our glorious victories; all thisexpense of blood and treasure!

PIP. Bite--

AC. Bite! How?

TRIM. Nay, he has bit you fairly enough; that's certain. 

AC. Pox! I don't feel it--how? Where?

[_Exit_ PIP _and_ TRIMMER, _laughing. _

AC. Ho! Mr. Friendly, your most humble servant; you heard what passedbetween those fine gentlemen and me. Pip complained to me, that he hasbeen voweled; and they tell me, I am bit. 

FRIEND. You are to understand, sir, that simplicity of behaviour, whichis the perfection of good breeding and good sense, is utterly lost inthe world; and in the room of it, there are started a thousand littleinventions, which men, barren of better things, take up in the place ofit. Thus, for every character in conversation that used to please, thereis an impostor put upon you. Him whom we allowed formerly for a certainpleasant subtilty, and natural way of giving you an unexpected hit, called a droll, is now mimicked by a biter, who is a dull fellow, thattells you a lie with a grave face, and laughs at you for knowing him nobetter than to believe him. Instead of that sort of companion, who couldrally you, and keep his countenance, till he made you fall into somelittle inconsistency of behaviour, at which you yourself could laughwith him, you have the sneerer, who will keep you company from morningto night, to gather your follies of the day (which perhaps you commitout of confidence in him), and expose you in the evening to all thescorners in town. For your man of sense and free spirit, whose set ofthoughts were built upon learning, reason, and experience, you have nowan impudent creature made up of vice only, who supports his ignorance byhis courage, and want of learning by contempt of it. 

AC. Dear sir, hold: what you have told me already of this change inconversation, is too miserable to be heard with any delight; but, methinks, as these new creatures appear in the world, it might give anexcellent field to writers for the stage, to divert us with therepresentation of them there. 

FRIEND. No, no: as you say, there might be some hopes of redress ofthese grievances, if there were proper care taken of the theatre; butthe history of that is yet more lamentable than that of the decay ofconversation I gave you. 

AC. Pray, sir, a little: I haven't been in town these six years, tillwithin this fortnight. 

FRIEND. It is now some years since several revolutions in the gay worldhad made the empire of the stage subject to very fatal convulsions, which were too dangerous to be cured by the skill of little KingOberon, [181] who then sat in the throne of it. The laziness of thisprince threw him upon the choice of a person who was fit to spend hislife in contentions, an able and profound attorney, to whom he mortgagedhis whole empire. This Divito[182] is the most skilful of allpoliticians: he has a perfect art in being unintelligible in discourse, and uncomeatable in business. But he having no understanding in thispolite way, brought in upon us, to get in his money, ladder-dancers, [183] rope-dancers, jugglers, and mountebanks, to strutin the place of Shakespeare's heroes, and Jonson's humorists. When theseat of wit was thus mortgaged, without equity of redemption, anarchitect[184] arose, who has built the muse a new palace, but securedher no retinue; so that instead of action there, we have been put offby song and dance. This latter help of sound has also begun to fail forwant of voices; therefore the palace has since been put into the handsof a surgeon, [185] who cuts any foreign fellow into an eunuch, andpasses him upon us for a singer of Italy. 

AC. I'll go out of town to-morrow. 

FRIEND. [186] Things are come to this pass; and yet the world will notunderstand, that the theatre has much the same effect on the manners ofthe age, as the bank on the credit of the nation. Wit and spirit, humourand good sense, can never be revived, but under the government of thosewho are judges of such talents, who know, that whatever is put up intheir stead, is but a short and trifling expedient, to support theappearance of them for a season. It is possible, a peace will giveleisure to put these matters under new regulations; but at present, allthe assistance we can see towards our recovery, is as far from giving ushelp, as a poultice is from performing what can be done only by theGrand Elixir. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 6. 

According to our late design in the applauded verses on theMorning, [187] which you lately had from hence, we proceed to improvethat just intention, and present you with other labours, made proper tothe place in which they were written. The following poem comes fromCopenhagen, and is as fine a winter-piece as we have ever had from anyof the schools of the most learned painters. Such images as these giveus a new pleasure in our sight, and fix upon our minds traces ofreflection, which accompany us whenever the like objects occur. Inshort, excellent poetry and description dwell upon us so agreeably, thatall the readers of them are made to think, if not write, like men ofwit. But it would be injury to detain you longer from this excellentperformance, which is addressed to the Earl of Dorset by Mr. Philips, [188] the author of several choice poems in Mr. Tonson's newMiscellany. [189]

 _Copenhagen, March 9_, 1709. From frozen climes, and endless tracks of snow, From streams that northern winds forbid to flow; What present shall the muse to Dorset bring; Or how, so near the Pole, attempt to sing? The hoary winter here conceals from sight All pleasing objects that to verse invite. The hills and dales, and the delightful woods, The flowery plains, and silver streaming floods, By snow disguised, in bright confusion lie, And with one dazzling waste fatigue the eye. 

 No gentle breathing breeze prepares the spring, No birds within the desert region sing. The ships unmoved the boisterous winds defy, While rattling chariots o'er the ocean fly. The vast leviathan wants room to play, And spout his waters in the face of day. The starving wolves along the main sea prowl, And to the moon in icy valleys howl. For many a shining league the level main Here spreads itself into a glassy plain: There solid billows of enormous size, Alps of green ice, in wild disorder rise. 

 And yet but lately have I seen e'en here, The winter in a lovely dress appear; Ere yet the clouds let fall the treasured snow, Or winds begun through hazy skies to blow. At evening a keen eastern breeze arose; And the descending rain unsullied froze. Soon as the silent shades of night withdrew, The ruddy morn disclosed at once to view The face of nature in a rich disguise, And brightened every object to my eyes. For every shrub, and every blade of grass, And every pointed thorn, seemed wrought in glass, In pearls and rubies rich the hawthorns show, While through the ice the crimson berries glow. The thick-sprung reeds the watery marshes yield, Seem polished lances in a hostile field. The stag in limpid currents with surprise, Sees crystal branches on his forehead rise. The spreading oak, the beech, and towering pine, Glazed over, in the freezing ether shine. The frighted birds the rattling branches shun, That wave and glitter in the distant sun. 

 When if a sudden gust of wind arise, The brittle forest into atoms flies: The crackling wood beneath the tempest bends, And in a spangled shower the prospect ends. Or if a southern gale the region warm, And by degrees unbind the wintry charm; The traveller a miry country sees, And journeys sad beneath the dropping trees. 

 Like some deluded peasant, Merlin leads Through fragrant bowers, and through delicious meads; While here enchanted gardens to him rise, And airy fabrics there attract his eyes, His wandering feet the magic paths pursue; And while he thinks the fair illusion true, The trackless scenes disperse in fluid air, And woods and wilds, and thorny ways appear: A tedious road the weary wretch returns, And, as he goes, the transient vision mourns. 

From my own Apartment, May 6. 

There has a mail this day arrived from Holland; but the matter of theadvices importing rather what gives us great expectations, than anypositive assurances, I shall, for this time, decline giving you what Iknow, and apply the following verses of Mr. Dryden, in the second partof "Almanzor, " to the present circumstances of things, withoutdiscovering what my knowledge in astronomy suggests to me. 

 _When empire in its childhood first appears, A watchful fate o'er sees its tender years: Till grown more strong, it thrusts and stretches out, And elbows all the kingdoms round about. The place thus made for its first breathing free, It moves again for ease and luxury; Till swelling by degrees it has possest The greater space, and now crowds up the rest. When from behind there starts some petty state, And pushes on its now unwieldy fate. Then down the precipice of time it goes, And sinks in minutes, which in ages rose. _[190]

[Footnote 180: "I'll teach you a way to outwit Mrs. Johnson; it is anew-fashioned way of being witty, and they call it a _bite_. You mustask a bantering question, or tell some damned lie in a serious manner, then she will answer, or speak as if you were in earnest, and then cryyou, 'Madam, there's a _bite_. ' I would not have you undervalue this, for it is the constant amusement in Court, and everywhere else among thegreat people; and I let you know it, in order to have it obtain amongyou, and to teach you a new refinement" (Swift's "Journal"). See the_Spectator_, Nos. 47, 504: "_A Biter_ is one who tells you a thing youhave no reason to disbelieve in itself; and perhaps has given you, before he bit you, no reason to disbelieve it for his saying it; and ifyou give him credit, laughs in your face, and triumphs that he hasdeceived you. In a word, a _Biter_ is one who thinks you a fool, becauseyou do not think him a knave. "]

[Footnote 181: Owen McSwiney, a manager of Drury Lane Theatre, andafterwards of the Haymarket Theatre. After living in Italy for someyears, he obtained a place in the Custom-house, and was keeper of theKing's Mews. On his death in 1754 he left his fortune to Mrs. Woffington. ]

[Footnote 182: Christopher Rich, manager of Drury Lane Theatre, who diedin 1714, was at this time involved in a quarrel with the principalactors about the profits of their benefits. ]

[Footnote 183: Cibber ("Apology, " chap. X. ) complains that Rich paidextraordinary prices to singers, dancers, and other exotic performers, which were as constantly deducted out of the sinking salaries of hisactors. In December, 1709, the Lord Chamberlain ordered that no newrepresentations were to be brought upon the stage which were notnecessary to the better performance of comedy or opera, "such asladder-dancing, antic postures, " &c. , without his leave. --(LordChamberlain's Records, Warrant Book, No. 22. )]

[Footnote 184: Sir John Vanbrugh built the Haymarket Theatre in 1705. The new house was opened with a translation of an Italian opera, "TheTriumph of Love", which met with little success. This was followed byVanbrugh's "Confederacy. "]

[Footnote 185: John James Heidegger, who died in 1749, aged 90, was theson of a Swiss clergyman. When over 40 he came to England, and becamethe chief director of the opera-house and masquerades. His face wasremarkably ugly. ]

[Footnote 186: "Trim", in original editions. ]

[Footnote 187: See No. 9. ]

[Footnote 188: "Philips writeth verses in a sledge upon the frozen sea, "wrote Swift, "and transmits them hither to thrive in our warm climateunder the shelter of my Lord Dorset. " Addison refers to this poem byAmbrose Philips in No. 223 of the _Spectator_, and Pope commends it. ]

[Footnote 189: The sixth and last volume of Tonson's "Miscellany" openswith Philips' Pastorals, and closes with those of Pope. ]

[Footnote 190: "Almanzor and Almahide; or, The Conquest of Granada. TheSecond Part, " act i. Sc. I. ]

No. 13. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, May 7_, to _Tuesday, May 10_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 8. 

Much hurry and business had to-day perplexed me into a mood toothoughtful for going into company; for which reason, instead of thetavern, I went into Lincoln's Inn Walks; and having taken a round ortwo, I sat down, according to the allowed familiarity of these places, on a bench; at the other end of which sat a venerable gentleman, whospeaking with a very affable air, "Mr. Bickerstaff, " said he, "I take itfor a very great piece of good fortune, that you have found me out. ""Sir, " said I, "I had never, that I know of, the honour of seeing youbefore. " "That, " replied he, "is what I have often lamented; but Iassure you, I have for many years done you good offices, without beingobserved by you; or else, when you had any little glimpse of my beingconcerned in an affair, you have fled from me, and shunned me like anenemy; but however, the part I am to act in the world is such, that I amto go on in doing good, though I meet with never so many repulses, evenfrom those I oblige. " This, thought I, shows a great good nature, butlittle judgment in the persons upon whom he confers his favours. Heimmediately took notice to me, that he observed by my countenance Ithought him indiscreet in his beneficence, and proceeded to tell me hisquality in the following manner: "I know thee, Isaac, to be so wellversed in the occult sciences, that I need not much preface, or makelong preparations to gain your faith that there are airy beings, who areemployed in the care and attendance of men, as nurses are to infants, till they come to an age in which they can act of themselves. Thesebeings are usually called amongst men, guardian angels; and, Mr. Bickerstaff, I am to acquaint you, that I am to be yours for some timeto come; it being our orders to vary our stations, and sometimes to haveone patient under our protection, and sometimes another, with a power ofassuming what shape we please, to ensnare our wards into their own good. I have of late been upon such hard duty, and know you have so much workfor me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face, to desire youwould give me as little occasion for vigilance as you can. " "Sir, " saidI, "it will be a great instruction to me in my behaviour, if you pleaseto give me some account of your late employments, and what hardships orsatisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myselfaccordingly. " He answered: "To give you an example of the drudgery we gothrough, I will entertain you only with my three last stations: I was onthe 1st of April last, put to mortify a great beauty, with whom I was aweek; from her I went to a common swearer, and have been last with agamester. When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was toguard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were so numerous, andthe house, after the modern way, so full of looking-glasses, that Iseldom had her safe but in her sleep. Whenever we went abroad, we weresurrounded by an army of enemies: when a well-made man appeared, he wassure to have a side-glance of observation: if a disagreeable fellow, hehad a full face, out of mere inclination to conquests. But at the closeof the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was sitting on acouch, reading Ovid's 'Epistles'; and as she came to this line of Helento Paris, _She half consents who silently denies;_[191]

entered Philander, [192] who is the most skilful of all men in an addressto women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them, which is, to talk like a very miserable man, but look like a very happyone. I saw Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; buthe immediately said something so agreeable on her being at study, andthe novelty of finding a lady employed in so grave a manner, that he ona sudden became very familiarly a man of no consequence; and in aninstant laid all her suspicions of his skill asleep, as he almost haddone mine, till I observed him very dangerously turn his discourse uponthe elegance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that verypretty mourning. Having had women before under my care, I trembled atthe apprehension of a man of sense, who could talk upon trifles, andresolved to stick to my post with all the circumspection imaginable. Inshort, I prepossessed her against all he could say to the advantage ofher dress and person; but he turned again the discourse, where I found Ihad no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance. Heallowed indeed, that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of wit;but then she was so ungainly in her behaviour, and such a laughinghoyden--Pastorella had with him the allowance of being blameless: butwhat was that towards being praiseworthy? To be only innocent, is not tobe virtuous. He afterwards spoke so much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead, Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks, that she grew downright in love with him: for it is always to beunderstood, that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sexto be a gift to her. In a word, things went so far, that I wasdismissed, and she will remember that evening nine months, from the 6thof April, by a very remarkable token. The next, as I said, I went to wasa common swearer: never was creature so puzzled as myself when I camefirst to view his brain; half of it was worn out, and filled up withmere expletives, that had nothing to do with any other parts of thetexture; therefore, when he called for his clothes in a morning, hewould cry, 'John--?' John does not answer. 'What a plague! Nobody there?What the devil, and rot me! John, for a lazy dog as you are. ' I knew noway to cure him, but by writing down all he said one morning as he wasdressing, and laying it before him on the toilet when he came to pickhis teeth. The last recital I gave him of what he said for half an hourbefore, was, 'What, a pox rot me! Where is the washball? Call thechairmen: damn them, I warrant they are at the ale-house already!Zounds, and confound them. ' When he came to the glass, he takes up mynote--'Ha! this fellow is worse than me: what, does he swear with penand ink?' But reading on, he found them to be his own words. Thestratagem had so good an effect upon him, that he grew immediately a newman, and is learning to speak without an oath, which makes him extremelyshort in his phrases; for, as I observed before, a common swearer has abrain without any idea on the swearing side; therefore my ward has yetmighty little to say, and is forced to substitute some other vehicle ofnonsense to supply the defect of his usual expletives. When I left him, he made use of, 'Oddsbodikins!' 'Oh me!' and, 'Never stir alive!' and soforth; which gave me hopes of his recovery. So I went to the next I toldyou of, the gamester. When we first take our place about a man, thereceptacles of the pericranium are immediately searched. In his, I foundno one ordinary trace of thinking; but strong passion, violent desires, and a continued series of different changes, had torn it to pieces. There appeared no middle condition; the triumph of a prince, or themisery of a beggar, were his alternate states. I was with him no longerthan one day, which was yesterday. In the morning at twelve, we wereworth four thousand pounds; at three, we were arrived at six thousand;half an hour after, we were reduced to one thousand; at four of theclock, we were down to two hundred; at five, to fifty; at six, to five;at seven, to one guinea; the next bet, to nothing: this morning, heborrowed half a crown of the maid who cleans his shoes; and is nowgaming in Lincoln's Inn Fields among the boys for farthings and oranges, till he has made up three pieces, and then he returns to White's intothe best company in town. " This ended our first discourse; and it ishoped, you will forgive me, that I have picked so little out of mycompanion at our first interview. In the next, it is possible he maytell me more pleasing incidents; for though he is a familiar, he is notan evil spirit. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 9. 

We hear from the Hague of the 14th instant, N. S. , that Monsieur de Torcyhath had frequent conferences with the Grand Pensioner, and the otherMinisters who were heretofore commissioned to treat with MonsieurRouillé. The preliminaries of a peace are almost settled, and theproceedings wait only for the arrival of the Duke of Marlborough; afterwhose approbation of the articles proposed, it is not doubted but themethods of the treaty will be publicly known. In the meantime, theStates have declared an abhorrence of making any step in this greataffair, but in concert with the Court of Great Britain, and otherprinces of the Alliance. The posture of affairs in France doesnecessarily oblige that nation to be very much in earnest in theiroffers; and Monsieur de Torcy hath professed to the Grand Pensioner, that he will avoid all occasions of giving him the least jealousy of hisusing any address in private conversations for accomplishing the ends ofhis embassy. It is said, that as soon as the preliminaries are adjusted, that Minister is to return to the French Court. The States of Hollandhave resolved to make it an instruction to all their men-of-war andprivateers, to bring into their ports whatever neutral ships they shallmeet with laden with corn, and bound for France; and to avoid all causeof complaint from the potentates to whom these ships shall belong, theirfull demand for their freight shall be paid them there. The FrenchProtestants residing in that country have applied themselves to theirrespective magistrates, desiring that there may be an article in thetreaty of peace, which may give liberty of conscience to the Protestantsin France. Monsieur Bosnage, minister of the Walloon church atRotterdam, has been at the Hague and hath had some conferences with thedeputies of the States on that subject. It is reported there, that allthe French refugees in those dominions are to be naturalised, that theymay enjoy the same good effects of the treaty with the Hollandersthemselves, in respect of France. 

Letters from Paris say, the people conceive great hopes of a suddenpeace, from Monsieur Torcy's being employed in the negotiation, he beinga Minister of too great weight in that Court, to be sent on anyemployment in which his master would not act in a manner wherein hemight justly promise himself success. The French advices add, that thereis an insurrection in Poictou; 3000 men having taken up arms, and beatenthe troops which were appointed to disperse them: three of the mutineersbeing taken, were immediately executed; and as many of the king's partywere used after the same manner. 

Our late Act of Naturalisation[193] hath had so great an effect inforeign parts, that some princes have prohibited the French refugees intheir dominions to sell or transfer their estates to any other of theirsubjects; and at the same time have granted them greater immunities thanthey hitherto enjoyed. It has been also thought necessary to restraintheir own subjects from leaving their native country, on pain of death. 

[Footnote 191: Ovid's "Epistles, " 1709; translation of "Helen's Epistleto Paris, " by the Earl of Mulgrave and Dryden. ]

[Footnote 192: An original for Philander has been found in Lord Halifax. See No. 49. ]

[Footnote 193: See No. 9. "If the Whigs were now restored to power, thebill [for a general naturalisation] now to be repealed, would then bere-enacted, and the birthright of an Englishman reduced again to thevalue of twelve pence. "--(_Examiner_, vol. I. No. 26. )]

No. 14. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday May 10_, to _Thursday, May 12_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 10. 

Had it not been that my familiar had appeared to me, as I told you in mylast, in person, I had certainly been unable to have found even words, without meaning, to keep up my intelligence with the town: but he haschecked me severely for my despondence, and ordered me to go on in mydesign of observing upon things, and forbearing persons; "for, " said he, "the age you live in is such, that a good picture of any vice or virtuewill infallibly be misrepresented; and though none will take the kinddescriptions you make so much to themselves, as to wish well to theauthor, yet all will resent the ill characters you produce, out of fearof their own turn in the licence you must be obliged to take, if youpoint at particular persons. " I took his admonition kindly, andimmediately promised him to beg pardon of the author of the "Advice tothe Poets, "[194] for my raillery upon his work; though I aimed at nomore in that examination, but to convince him, and all men of genius, ofthe folly of laying themselves out on such plans as are below theircharacters. I hope too it was done without ill-breeding, and nothingspoken below what a civilian (as it is allowed I am) may utter to aphysician. After this preface, all the world may be safe from mywritings; for if I can find nothing to commend, I am silent, and willforbear the subject: for, though I am a reformer, I scorn to be aninquisitor. 

It would become all men, as well as me, to lay before them the noblecharacter of Verus the magistrate, [195] who always sat in triumph over, and contempt of, vice; he never searched after it, or spared it when itcame before him: at the same time, he could see through the hypocrisyand disguise of those, who have no pretence to virtue themselves, but bytheir severity to the vicious. This same Verus was, in times long past, chief justice (as we call it amongst us) in Fælicia. [196] He was a manof profound knowledge of the laws of his country, and as just anobserver of them in his own person. He considered justice as a cardinalvirtue, not as a trade for maintenance. Wherever he was judge, he neverforgot that he was also counsel. The criminal before him was always surehe stood before his country, and, in a sort, a parent of it. Theprisoner knew, that though his spirit was broken with guilt, andincapable of language to defend itself, all would be gathered from himwhich could conduce to his safety; and that his judge would wrest no lawto destroy him, nor conceal any that could save him. In his time, therewere a nest of pretenders to justice, who happened to be employed to putthings in a method for being examined before him at his usual sessions:these animals were to Verus, as monkeys are to men, so like, that youcan hardly disown them; but so base, that you are ashamed of theirfraternity. It grew a phrase, "Who would do justice on the justices?"That certainly would Verus. I have seen an old trial where he sat judgeon two of them; one was called Trick-Track, the other Tearshift;[197]one was a learned judge of sharpers, the other the quickest of all menat finding out a wench. Trick-Track never spared a pickpocket, but was acompanion to cheats: Tearshift would make compliments to wenches ofquality, but certainly commit poor ones. If a poor rogue wanted alodging, Trick-Track sent him to gaol for a thief: if a poor whore wentonly with one thin petticoat, Tearshift would imprison her for beingloose in her dress. These patriots infested the days of Verus, whilethey alternately committed and released each other's prisoners. ButVerus regarded them as criminals, and always looked upon men as theystood in the eye of justice, without respecting whether they sat on thebench, or stood at the bar. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 11

Yesterday we were entertained with the tragedy of "The Earl ofEssex, "[198] in which there is not one good line, and yet a play whichwas never seen without drawing tears from some part of the audience: aremarkable instance, that the soul is not to be moved by words, butthings; for the incidents in this drama are laid together so happily, that the spectator makes the play for himself, by the force which thecircumstance has upon his imagination. Thus, in spite of the most drydiscourses, and expressions almost ridiculous with respect to propriety, it is impossible for one unprejudiced to see it untouched with pity. Imust confess, this effect is not wrought on such as examine why they arepleased; but it never fails to appear on those who are not too learnedin nature, to be moved by her first suggestions. It is certain, theperson and behaviour of Mr. Wilks[199] has no small share in conducingto the popularity of the play; and when a handsome fellow is going to amore coarse exit than beheading, his shape and countenance make everytender one reprieve him with all her heart, without waiting till shehears his dying words. 

This evening "The Alchemist"[200] was played. This comedy is an exampleof Ben's extensive genius and penetration into the passions and folliesof mankind. The scene in the fourth act, where all the cheated peopleoppose the man that would open their eyes, has something in it soinimitably excellent, that it is certainly as great a masterpiece as hasever appeared by any hand. The author's great address in showingcovetousness the motive of the actions of the Puritan, the epicure, thegamester, and the trader; and that all their endeavours, how differentlysoever they seem to tend, centre only in that one point of gain, showshe had to a great perfection, that discernment of spirit, whichconstitutes a genius for comedy. 

White's Chocolate-house, May 11. 

It is not to be imagined how far the violence of our desires will carryus towards our own deceit in the pursuit of what we wish for. Agentleman here this evening was giving me an account of a dumbfortune-teller, [201] who outdoes Mr. Partridge, myself, or theunborn-doctor, [202] for predictions. All his visitants come to him fullof expectations, and pay his own rate for the interpretations they putupon his shrugs and nods. There is a fine rich City widow stole thitherthe other day (though it is not six weeks since her husband's departurefrom her company to rest), and, with her trusty maid, demanded of him, whether she should marry again, by holding up two fingers, like horns onher forehead. The wizard held up both his hands forked. The relictdesired to know, whether he meant by his holding up both hands, torepresent that she had one husband before, and that she should haveanother? Or that he intimated, she should have two more? The cunning-manlooked a little sour; upon which Betty jogged her mistress, who gave theother guinea; and he made her understand, she should positively have twomore; but shaked his head, and hinted, that they should not live longwith her. The widow sighed, and gave him the other half-guinea. Afterthis prepossession, all that she had next to do, was to make sallies toour end of the town, and find out who it is her fate to have. There aretwo who frequent this place, whom she takes for men of vogue, and ofwhom her imagination has given her the choice. They are both theappearances of fine gentlemen, to such as do not know when they seepersons of that turn; and indeed, they are industrious enough to come atthat character, to deserve the reputation of being such: but this townwill not allow us to be the things we seem to aim at, and are toodiscerning to be fobbed off with pretences. One of these pretty fellowsfails by his laborious exactness; the other, by his as much studiednegligence. Frank Careless, as soon as his valet has helped on andadjusted his clothes, goes to his glass, sets his wig awry, tumbles hiscravat; and in short, undresses himself to go into company. Will Nice isso little satisfied with his dress, that all the time he is at a visit, he is still mending it, and is for that reason the more insufferable;for he who studies carelessness, has, at least, his work the sooner doneof the two. The widow is distracted whom to take for her first man; forNice is every way so careful, that she fears his length of days; andFrank is so loose, that she has apprehensions for her own health withhim. I am puzzled how to give a just idea of them; but in a word, Careless is a coxcomb, and Nice a fop: both, you'll say, very hopefulcandidates for a gay woman just set at liberty. But there is a whisper, her maid will give her to Tom Terrour the gamester. This fellow hasundone so many women, that he'll certainly succeed if he is introduced;for nothing so much prevails with the vain part of that sex, as theglory of deceiving them who have deceived others. 

 _Desunt multa_. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 11. 

Letters from Berlin, bearing date May 11, N. S. , inform us, that thebirthday of her Prussian Majesty has been celebrated there with allpossible magnificence; and the king made her on that occasion a presentof jewels to the value of thirty thousand crowns. The Marquis de Quesne, who has distinguished himself by his great zeal for the Protestantinterest, was, at the time of the despatch of these letters, at thatCourt, soliciting the king to take care, that an article in behalf ofthe refugees, admitting their return to France, should be inserted inthe treaty of peace. They write from Hanover of the 14th, that hiselectoral highness had received an express from Count Merci, representing how necessary it was to the common cause, that he wouldplease to hasten to the Rhine; for that nothing but his presence couldquicken the measures towards bringing the imperial army into the field. There are very many speculations upon the intended interview of the Kingof Denmark and King Augustus. The latter has made such preparations forthe reception of the other, that it is said his Danish Majesty will beentertained in Saxony with much more elegance than he met with in Italyitself. 

Letters from the Hague of the 18th instant, N. S. , say, that his Gracethe Duke of Marlborough landed the night before at the Brill, afterhaving been kept out at sea by adverse winds two days longer than isusual in that passage. His Excellency the Lord Townshend, her Majesty'sambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary to the States-General, wasdriven into the Veere in Zealand on Thursday last, from whence he cameto the Hague within few hours after the arrival of his grace. The duke, soon after his coming to the Hague, had a visit from the Pensioner ofHolland. All things relating to the peace were in suspense till thisinterview; nor is it yet known what resolutions will be taken on thatsubject; for the troops of the Allies have fresh orders despatched tothem to move from their respective quarters, and march with allexpedition to the frontiers, where the enemy are making their utmostefforts for the defence of their country. These advices further informus, that the Marquis de Torcy had received an answer from the Court ofFrance to his letters which he had sent thither by an express on theFriday before. 

Mr. Bickerstaff has received letters from Mr. Coltstaff, Mr. Whipstaff, and Mrs. Rebecca Wagstaff; all which relate chiefly to their being leftout in the genealogy of the family lately published;[203] but my cousinbeing a clerk in the Heralds' Office who writ that draught, and being atpresent under the displeasure of the chapter, it is feared, if thatmatter should be touched upon at this time, the young gentleman wouldlose his place for treason against the Kings at Arms. [204]

[Footnote 194: Sir Richard Blackmore. See No. 3. ]

[Footnote 195: Sir John Holt (see _Examiner_, vol. Iv. No. 14) was bornin 1642, made Recorder of London and knighted in 1686, and appointedChief Justice of the King's Bench in 1689, a position which he filledvery ably and impartially for twenty-one years. He died March 5, 1710. ]

[Footnote 196: Britain. ]

[Footnote 197: According to a MS. Note in the copy of the Tatlerreferred to in a note to No. 4, these justices were "Sir H. C---- andMr. C----r. " Who the latter was I do not know; the former appears to bemeant for Sir Henry Colt, of whom Luttrell gives some particulars. InApril 1694, a Bill was found against Sir Henry Colt and Mr. Lake, son tothe late Bishop of Chichester, for fighting a duel in St. James's Park;the trial was to be on May 31. Sir Henry Colt, a Justice of the Peace, had a duel with Beau Feilding on the 11th January, 1696, and Colt wasrun through the body. A reward of £200 was offered for Feilding'sarrest, and he was captured in March; but in the following month he wasset at liberty upon Colt promising not to prosecute. In July 1698, Coltunsuccessfully contested Westminster, and in December the Committee ofPrivileges decided that his petition against the return of Mr. Chancellor Montague and Mr. Secretary Vernon was vexatious, frivolousand scandalous; and Colt was put out of the commission of the peace forWestminster and Middlesex. In 1701, he became M. P. For Westminster, forone Parliament only. In August 1702, he was again displaced from being aJustice for Westminster. In July 1708, he was defeated at Westminster, and the petition which he lodged against Mr. Medlicot's election wasdismissed, after Huggins, the head bailiff, had been examined. ]

[Footnote 198: By John Banks, 1685. ]

[Footnote 199: Robert Wilks died in 1732, age 62. See No. 182, and the_Spectator_, Nos. 268, 370: "When I am commending Wilks for representingthe tenderness of a husband and a father in 'Macbeth', the contrition ofa reformed prodigal in 'Harry the Fourth', the winning emptiness of ayoung man of good-nature and wealth in 'The Trip to the Jubilee', theofficiousness of an artful servant in 'The Fox', when thus I celebrateWilks, I talk to all the world who are engaged in any of thosecircumstances. "]

[Footnote 200: Ben Jonson's "Alchemist" was published in 1610. ]

[Footnote 201: Duncan Campbell, who is best known through Defoe's"History of the Life and Adventures of Mr. Duncan Campbell, a gentleman, who, though deaf and dumb, writes down any strange name at first sight, with their future contingencies of fortune, " 1720. Several other booksabout Campbell appeared, and some said that he only pretended to be deafand dumb. Campbell had a very large number of clients (_Spectator_, No. 560). He died in 1730. ]

[Footnote 202: The name of this quack was Kirleus. He pretended toextraordinary endowments, on the score of his having been introducedinto the world by means of the Cesarean operation. In the _Examiner_, vol. I. No. 49, original edition in folio, there is among theadvertisements subjoined, July 5, 1711, notice given that some of hisnostrums, which had been tested for fifty years, were to be had of "MaryKirleus, widow of John Kirleus, son of Dr. Tho. Kirleus, a swornphysician in ordinary to K. Charles II. " Nichols says that there weretwo male and two female quacks of the name of Kirleus; Thomas thefather, and his son John, Susannah the widow of Thomas, and Mary therelict of John; but it does not appear that any of them all were rich. The women, after the decease of their husbands, engaged in a paper war, which was carried on about this time in polemical advertisements. Dr. Kirleus and Dr. Case (see No. 20) are said to have been sent for toprescribe to Partridge in his last illness. Garth ("Dispensary, " cantoiii. ) wrote:

 "Whole troops of quacks shall join us on the place, From great Kirleus down to Doctor Case. "

"In Grays-Inn-lane in Plow-yard, the third door, lives Dr. ThomasKirleus, a Collegiate Physician and sworn Physician in Ordinary to KingCharles the Second until his death; who with a drink and pill (hindringno business) undertakes to cure any ulcers, " &c. &c. "Take heed whom youtrust in physick, for it's become a common cheat to profess it. He giveshis opinion to all that writes or comes for nothing" (_AthenianMercury_, February 13, 1694). See also _Tatler_, Nos. 41, 226, 240. ]

[Footnote 203: See No. 11. ]

[Footnote 204: "Castabella's complaint is come to hand" (folio). See No. 16. ]

No. 15. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, May 12_, to _Saturday, May 14_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 12. 

I have taken a resolution hereafter, on any want of intelligence, tocarry my familiar abroad with me, who has promised to give me veryproper and just notices of persons and things, to make up the history ofthe passing day. He is wonderfully skilful in the knowledge of men andmanners, which has made me more than ordinary curious to know how hecame to that perfection, and I communicated to him that doubt. "Mr. Pacolet, " said I, "I am mightily surprised to see you so good a judge ofour nature and circumstances, since you are a mere spirit, and have noknowledge of the bodily part of us. " He answered, smiling, "You aremistaken, I have been one of you, and lived a month amongst you, whichgives me an exact sense of your condition. You are to know, that all whoenter into human life, have a certain date or stamen given to theirbeing, which they only who die of age may be said to have arrived at;but it is ordered sometimes by fate, that such as die infants, are afterdeath to attend mankind to the end of that stamen of being inthemselves, which was broke off by sickness or any other disaster. Theseare proper guardians to men, as being sensible of the infirmity of theirstate. You are philosopher enough to know, that the difference of men'sunderstanding proceeds only from the various dispositions of theirorgans; so that he who dies at a month old, is in the next life asknowing (though more innocent) as they who live to fifty; and afterdeath, they have as perfect a memory and judgment of all that passed intheir lifetime, as I have of all the revolutions in that uneasy, turbulent condition of yours; and, you'd say, I had enough of it in amonth, were I to tell you all my misfortunes. " "A life of a month, can'thave, one would think, much variety; but pray, " said I, "let us haveyour story. "

Then he proceeds in the following manner:

"It was one of the most wealthy families in Great Britain into which Iwas born, and it was a very great happiness to me that it so happened, otherwise I had still, in all probability, been living: but I shallrecount to you all the occurrences of my short and miserable existence, just as, by examining into the traces made in my brain, they appearedto me at that time. The first thing that ever struck my senses, was anoise over my head of one shrieking; after which, methought I took afull jump, and found myself in the hands of a sorceress, who seemed asif she had been long waking and employed in some incantation: I wasthoroughly frightened, and cried out, but she immediately seemed to goon in some magical operation, and anointed me from head to foot. Whatthey meant I could not imagine; for there gathered a great crowd aboutme, crying, 'An heir, an heir'; upon which I grew a little still, andbelieved this was a ceremony to be used only to great persons, and suchas made them, what they called, Heirs. I lay very quiet; but the witch, for no manner of reason or provocation in the world, takes me and bindsmy head as hard as possibly she could, then ties up both my legs, andmakes me swallow down a horrid mixture; I thought it a harsh entranceinto life to begin with taking physic; but I was forced to it, or elsemust have taken down a great instrument in which she gave it me. When Iwas thus dressed, I was carried to a bedside, where a fine young lady(my mother I wot) had like to have hugged me to death. From her, theyfaced me about, and there was a thing with quite another look from therest of the room, to whom they talked about my nose. He seemedwonderfully pleased to see me; but I knew since, my nose belonged toanother family. That into which I was born, is one of the most numerousamongst you; therefore crowds of relations came every day tocongratulate my arrival; among others, my cousin Betty, the greatestromp in nature; she whisks me such a height over her head, that I criedout for fear of falling. She pinched me, and called me squealing chit, and threw me into a girl's arms that was taken in to tend me. The girlwas very proud of the womanly employment of a nurse, and took upon herto strip and dress me anew, because I made a noise, to see what ailedme: she did so, and stuck a pin in every joint about me. I still cried:upon which, she lays me on my face in her lap; and to quiet me, fell anailing in all the pins, by clapping me on the back, and screaming alullaby. But my pain made me exalt my voice above hers, which brought upthe nurse, the witch I first saw, and my grandmother. The girl is turneddown stairs, and I stripped again, as well to find out what ailed me, asto satisfy my granam's further curiosity. This good old woman's visitwas the cause of all my troubles. You are to understand, that I washitherto bred by hand, and anybody that stood next, gave me pap, if Idid but open my lips; insomuch, that I was grown so cunning, as topretend myself asleep when I was not, to prevent my being crammed. Butmy grandmother began a loud lecture upon the idleness of the wives ofthis age, who, for fear of their shape, forbear suckling their ownoffspring; and ten nurses were immediately sent for; one was whisperedto have a wanton eye, and would soon spoil her milk; another was in aconsumption; the third had an ill voice, and would frighten me, insteadof lulling me to sleep. Such exceptions were made against all but onecountry milch-wench, to whom I was committed, and put to the breast. This careless jade was eternally romping with the footmen, and downrightstarved me; insomuch that I daily pined away, and should never have beenrelieved, had it not been, that on the thirtieth day of my life, afellow of the Royal Society, [205] who had writ upon Cold Baths, came tovisit me, and solemnly protested, I was utterly lost for want of thatmethod: upon which he soused me head and ears into a pail of water, where I had the good fortune to be drowned, and so escaped being lashedinto a linguist till sixteen, running after wenches till twenty-five, and being married to an ill-natured wife till sixty: which had certainlybeen my fate, had not the enchantment between body and soul been brokeby this philosopher. Thus, till the age I should have otherwise lived, Iam obliged to watch the steps of men; and if you please, shall accompanyyou in your present walks, and get you intelligence from the aëriallackey, who is in waiting, what are the thoughts and purposes of anywhom you inquire for. " I accepted his kind offer, and immediately tookhim with me in a hack to White's. 

White's Chocolate-house, May 13. 

We got in hither, and my companion threw a powder round us, that made meas invisible as himself; so that we could see and hear all others;ourselves unseen and unheard. 

The first thing we took notice of, was a nobleman of a goodly and frankaspect, with his generous birth and temper visible in it, playing atcards with a creature of a black and horrid countenance, wherein wereplainly delineated the arts of his mind, cozenage and falsehood. Theywere marking their game with counters, on which we could seeinscriptions, imperceptible to any but us. My lord had scored withpieces of ivory, on which were writ, Good Fame, Glory, Riches, Honour, and Posterity. The spectre over against him had on his counters theinscriptions of, Dishonour, Impudence, Poverty, Ignorance, and Want ofShame. "Bless me!" said I, "sure my lord does not see what he playsfor!" "As well as I do, " says Pacolet. "He despises that fellow heplays with, and scorns himself for making him his companion. " At thevery instant he was speaking, I saw the fellow who played with my lord, hide two cards in the roll of his stocking: Pacolet immediately stolethem from thence; upon which the nobleman soon after won the game. Thelittle triumph he appeared in, when he got such a trifling stock ofready money, though he had ventured so great sums with indifference, increased my admiration. But Pacolet began to talk to me. "Mr. Isaac, this to you looks wonderful, but not at all to us higher beings: thatnoble has as many good qualities as any man of his order, and seems tohave no faults but what, as I may say, are excrescences from virtues: heis generous to a prodigality, more affable than is consistent with hisquality, and courageous to a rashness. Yet, after all this, the sourceof his whole conduct is (though he would hate himself if he knew it)mere avarice. The ready cash laid before the gamester's counters makeshim venture, as you see, and lay distinction against infamy, abundanceagainst want; in a word, all that's desirable against all that's to beavoided. " "However, " said I, "be sure you disappoint the sharpersto-night, and steal from them all the cards they hide. " Pacolet obeyedme, and my lord went home with their whole bank in his pocket. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 13. 

To-night was acted a second time a comedy, called "The Busy Body:"[206]this play is written by a lady. In old times, we used to sit upon a playhere after it was acted; but now the entertainment is turned anotherway; not but there are considerable men appear in all ages, who, forsome eminent quality or invention, deserve the esteem and thanks of thepublic. Such a benefactor is a gentleman of this house, who is observedby the surgeons with much envy; for he has invented an engine for theprevention of harms by love adventures, and by great care andapplication, hath made it an immodesty to name his name. This act ofself-denial has gained this worthy member of the commonwealth a greatreputation. Some lawgivers have departed from their abodes for ever, andcommanded the observation of their laws till their return; others haveused other artifices to fly the applause of their merit; but this personshuns glory with greater address, and has, by giving his engine his ownname, made it obscene to speak of him more. However, he is ranked among, and received by the modern wits, as a great promoter of gallantry andpleasure. But I fear, pleasure is less understood in this age, which somuch pretends to it, than in any since the creation. It was admirablysaid of him who first took notice, that (_res est severa voluptas_)there is a certain severity in pleasure. Without that, all decency isbanished; and if reason is not to be present at our greatestsatisfactions, of all the races of creatures, the human is the mostmiserable. It was not so of old; when Virgil describes a wit, he alwaysmeans a virtuous man; and all his sentiments of men of genius are suchas show persons distinguished from the common level of mankind; such asplaced happiness in the contempt of low fears, and mean gratifications:fears, which we are subject to with the vulgar; and pleasures, which wehave in common with beasts. With these illustrious personages, thewisest man was the greatest wit; and none was thought worthy of thatcharacter, unless he answered this excellent description of the poet:

 _Qui--metus omnes et inexorabile fatum Subjecit pedibus, strepitumque Acherontis avari. _[207]

St. James's Coffee-house, May 13. 

We had this morning advice, that some English merchant-ships, convoyedby the _Bristol_ of fifty-four guns, were met with by a part of Mons. DuGuy Trouin's squadron, who engaged the convoy. That ship defended itselftill the English merchants got clear of the enemy, but being disabledwas herself taken. Within few hours after, my Lord Dursley[208] came upwith part of his squadron and engaging the French, retook the _Bristol_(which being very much shattered, sunk), and took the _Glorieux_, a shipof forty-four guns, as also a privateer of fourteen. Before this action, his lordship had taken two French merchant-men; and had, at the despatchof these advices, brought the whole safe into Plymouth. 

[Footnote 205: Probably William Oliver, M. D. , F. R. S. , who published aDissertation on Bath waters, and cold baths, in 1709 (_Flying Post_, Feb. 10 to 12, 1709). Sir John Floyer's "Inquiry into the right Use andAbuses of the Hot, Cold, and Temperate Baths in England, &c. , " appearedin 1697. ]

[Footnote 206: By Mrs. Susannah Centlivre, a lady of Whig views, who waspossessed of considerable beauty. (See also No. 19. ) Isaac Bickerstaffhad promised a prologue to "The Busy Body" before it was to be firstplayed, as appears from a poetical epistle of Mrs. Centlivre, claimingthe performance of such a promise, printed by Charles Lillie ("Orig. Letters to _Tatler_ and _Spectator_" vol. Ii. Pp. 33, 34). Leigh Hunt("The Town") suggests that Pope put Mrs. Centlivre in the "Dunciad" (ii. 410--"At last Centlivre felt her voice to fail") on account of herintimacy with Steele and other friends of Addison. Mrs. Centlivre(1667-1723) married, as her second husband, Mr. Carrol, a gentleman ofthe army, and afterwards Mr. Joseph Centlivre, principal cook to QueenAnne, 1706. ]

[Footnote 207: Virgil, "Georgics, " ii. 492. ]

[Footnote 208: In November 1709, James Viscount Dursley was raised tothe rank of Vice-Admiral of the Blue. Next year he succeeded his fatherin the title of Earl of Berkeley. ]

No. 16. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, May 14_, to _Tuesday, May 17_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, May 15. 

Sir Thomas, [209] of this house, has shown me some letters from the Bath, which give accounts of what passes among the good company of that place;and allowed me to transcribe one of them, that seems to be writ by someof Sir Thomas' particular acquaintances, and is as follows:

"DEAR KNIGHT, "I desire you would give my humble service to all our friends, which Ispeak of to you (out of method) in the very beginning of my epistle, lest the present disorders, by which this seat of gallantry and pleasureis torn to pieces, should make me forget it. You keep so good company, that you know Bath is stocked with such as come hither to be relievedfrom luxuriant health, or imaginary sickness, and consequently is alwaysas well stowed with gallants as invalids, who live together in a verygood understanding. But the season is so early, that our fine company isnot yet arrived: and the warm Bath, which in heathen times was dedicatedto Venus, is now used only by such as really want it for health's sake. There are however a good many strangers, among whom are two ambitiousladies, who being both in the autumn of their life, take the opportunityof placing themselves at the head of such as we are, before the Chloes, Clarissas, and Pastorellas come down. One of these two is excessivelyin pain, that the ugly being called Time will make wrinkles in spite ofthe lead forehead-cloth; and therefore hides, with the gaiety of herair, the volubility of her tongue, and quickness of her motion, theinjuries which it has done her. The other lady is but two years behindher in life, and dreads as much being laid aside as the former, andconsequently has taken the necessary precautions to prevent her reignover us. But she is very discreet, and wonderfully turned for ambition, being never apparently transported either with affection or malice. Thus, while Florimel is talking in public, and spreading her graces inassemblies, to gain a popular dominion over our diversions, Prudentiavisits very cunningly all the lame, the splenetic, and thesuperannuated, who have their distinct classes of followers and friends. Among these, she has found that some body has sent down printedcertificates of Florimel's age, which she has read and distributed tothis unjoyful set of people, who are always enemies to those inpossession of the good opinion of the company. This unprovoked injurydone by Prudentia, was the first occasion of our fatal divisions here, and a declaration of war between these rivals. Florimel has abundance ofwit, which she has lavished in decrying Prudentia, and giving defianceto her little arts. For an instance of her superior power, she bespokethe play of 'Alexander the Great, '[210] to be acted by the company ofstrollers, and desired us all to be there on Thursday last. When shespoke to me to come, 'As you are, ' said she, 'a lover, you will not failthe death of Alexander: the passion of love is wonderfully hit--Statira!Oh that happy woman--to have a conqueror at her feet--but you will besure to be there. ' I, and several others, resolved to be of her party. But see the irresistible strength of that unsuspected creature, a silentwoman. Prudentia had counterplotted us, and had bespoke on the sameevening the puppet-show of 'The Creation of the World. '[211] She hadengaged everybody to be there, and, to turn our leader into ridicule, had secretly let them know, that the puppet Eve was made the most likeFlorimel that ever was seen. On Thursday morning the puppet-drummer, Adam and Eve, and several others who lived before the Flood, passedthrough the streets on horseback, to invite us all to the pastime, andthe representation of such things as we all knew to be true; and Mr. Mayor was so wise as to prefer these innocent people the puppets, who, he said, were to represent Christians, before the wicked players, whowere to show Alexander, a heathen philosopher. To be short, thisPrudentia had so laid it, that at ten of the clock footmen were sent totake places at the puppet-show, and all we of Florimel's party were tobe out of fashion, or desert her. We chose the latter. All the worldcrowded to Prudentia's house, because it was given out, nobody could getin. When we came to Noah's flood in the show, Punch and his wife wereintroduced dancing in the Ark. An honest plain friend of Florimel's, buta critic withal, rose up in the midst of the representation, and mademany very good exceptions to the drama itself, and told us, that it wasagainst all morality, as well as rules of the stage, that Punch shouldbe in jest in the Deluge, or indeed that he should appear at all. Thiswas certainly a just remark, and I thought to second him; but he washissed by Prudentia's party; upon which, really, Sir Thomas, we who werehis friends, hissed him too. Old Mrs. Petulant desired both herdaughters to mind the moral; then whispered Mrs. Mayoress, 'This is veryproper for young people to see. ' Punch at the end of the play made MadamPrudentia a compliment, and was very civil to the whole company, makingbows till his buttons touched the ground. All was carried triumphantlyagainst our party. In the meantime Florimel went to the tragedy, dressedas fine as hands could make her, in hopes to see Prudentia pine awaywith envy. Instead of that, she sat a full hour alone, and at last wasentertained with this whole relation from Statira, who wiped her eyeswith her tragical-cut handkerchief, and lamented the ignorance of thequality. Florimel was stung with this affront, and the next day bespokethe puppet-show. Prudentia, insolent with power, bespoke 'Alexander. 'The whole company came then to 'Alexander. ' Madam Petulant desired herdaughters to mind the moral, and believe no man's fair words; 'Foryou'll see, children, ' said she, 'these soldiers are never to bedepended upon; they are sometimes here, sometimes there--don't you see, daughter Betty, Colonel Clod, our next neighbour in the country, pullsoff his hat to you? Courtesy, good child, his estate is just by us. 'Florimel was now mortified down to Prudentia's humour; and Prudentiaexalted into hers. This was observed: Florimel invites us to the play asecond time, Prudentia to the show. See the uncertainty of humanaffairs! The beaux, the wits, the gamesters, the prues, [212] thecoquettes, the valetudinarians, and gallants, all now wait uponFlorimel. Such is the state of things at this present date; and if therehappens any new commotions, you shall have immediate advice from, "Sir, "Your affectionate Friend

"and Servant. 

"Bath, _May 11_, 1709. "

#"_To Castabella. _#

"MADAM, I have the honour of a letter from a friend of yours, relating to anincivility done to you at the opera, by one of your own sex; but I, whowas an eye-witness of the accident, can testify to you, that though shepressed before you, she lost her ends in that design; for she was takennotice of for no other reason, but her endeavours to hide a finer womanthan herself. But indeed, I dare not go farther in this matter, thanjust this bare mention; for though it was taking your place of right, rather than place of precedence, yet it is so tender a point, and onwhich the very life of female ambition depends, that it is of the lastconsequence to meddle in it: all my hopes are from your beautiful sex;and those bright eyes, which are the bane of others, are my onlysunshine. My writings are sacred to you; and I hope I shall always havethe good fortune to live under your protection; therefore take thispublic opportunity to signify to all the world, that I design to forbearanything that may in the least tend to the diminution of your interest, reputation, or power. You will therefore forgive me, that I strive toconceal every wrong step made by any who have the honour to wearpetticoats; and shall at all times do what is in my power, to make allmankind as much their slaves as myself. If they would consider things asthey ought, there needs not much argument to convince them, that it istheir fate to be obedient to you, and that your greatest rebels do onlyserve with a worse grace. 

"I am, Madam, "Your most obedient, and

"most humble Servant, "ISAAC BICKERSTAFF. 

"_May 16. _"

St. James's Coffee-house, May 16. 

Letters from the Hague, bearing date the 21st instant, N. S. , advise, that his Grace the Duke of Marlborough, immediately after his arrival, sent his secretary to the President and the Pensionary, to acquaint themtherewith. Soon after, these Ministers visited the duke, and made himcompliments in the name of the States-General; after which they enteredinto a conference with him on the present posture of affairs, and gavehis grace assurances of the firm adherence of the States to thealliance: at the same time acquainting him, that all overtures of peacewere rejected, till they had an opportunity of acting in concert withtheir allies on that subject. After this interview, the Pensionary andthe President returned to the assembly of the States. Monsieur Torcy hashad a conference at the Pensioner's house with his Grace the Duke ofMarlborough, Prince Eugene, and his Excellency the Lord Townshend. Theresult of what was debated at that time is kept secret; but thereappears an air of satisfaction and good understanding between theseMinisters. We are apt also to give ourselves very hopeful prospects fromMonsieur Torcy's being employed in this negotiation, who has been alwaysremarkable for a particular way of thinking, in his sense of thegreatness of France; which he has always said, was to be promoted ratherby the arts of peace, than those of war. His delivering himself freelyon this subject, has formerly appeared an unsuccessful way to power inthat Court; but in its present circumstances, those maxims are betterreceived; and it is thought a certain argument of the sincerity of theFrench king's intentions, that this Minister is at present made use of. The marquis is to return to Paris within few days, who has sent acourier thither to give notice of the reasons of his return, that theCourt may be the sooner able to despatch commissions for a formaltreaty. 

The expectations of peace are increased by advices from Paris of the17th instant, which say, the Dauphin hath altered his resolution ofcommanding in Flanders the ensuing campaign. The Saxon and Prussianreinforcements, together with Count Merci's regiment of Imperial horse, are encamped in the neighbourhood of Brussels; and sufficient stores ofcorn and forage are transported to that place and Ghent for the serviceof the confederate army. 

They write from Mons, that the Elector of Bavaria had advice, that anadvanced party of the Portuguese army had been defeated by theSpaniards. 

We hear from Languedoc, that their corn, olives and figs, were whollydestroyed; but that they have a hopeful prospect of a plentiful vintage. 

[Footnote 209: The nickname of a waiter at White's (see No. 1). ]

[Footnote 210: "The Rival Queens; or, Alexander the Great, " by NathanielLee, 1677. ]

[Footnote 211: The following advertisement is among the Harleian MSS. (Bayford's Coll. 5931): "At Crawley's show at the Golden Lion, near St. George's Church, during the time of Southwark Fair, will be presentedthe whole story of the old 'Creation of the World, or Paradise Lost, 'yet newly revived with the addition of 'Noah's Flood'; &c. The bestknown puppet-show man was Martin Powell. (See No. 236. )]

[Footnote 212: So in the folio and original collected editions. "Prue"was Steele's favourite name for his wife; here it means "prude, " and nodoubt Steele sometimes thought "dear Prue" was unnecessarily andunreasonably particular. ]

No. 17. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, May 17_, to _Thursday, May 19_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, May 18. 

The discourse has happened to turn this evening upon the true nature ofpanegyric, the perfection of which was asserted to consist in a certainartful way of conveying the applause in an indirect manner. There was agentleman gave us several instances of it: among others, he quoted, fromSir Francis Bacon, in his "Advancement of Learning, " a very greatcompliment made to Tiberius, as follows: In a full debate upon publicaffairs in the Senate, one of the assembly rose up, and with a verygrave air said, he thought it for the honour and dignity of thecommonwealth, that Tiberius should be declared a god, and have divineworship paid him. The Emperor was surprised at the proposal, anddemanded of him to declare whether he had made any application toincline him to that overture? The senator answered, with a bold andhaughty tone, "Sir, in matters that concern the commonwealth, I will begoverned by no man. "[213] Another gentleman mentioned something of thesame kind spoken by the late Duke of B----m, [214] to the late Earl ofO----y:[215] "My lord, " says the duke, after his libertine way, "youwill certainly be damned. " "How, my lord!" says the earl with somewarmth. "Nay, " said the duke, "there's no help for it, for it ispositively said, 'Cursed is he of whom all men speak well. '"[216] Thisis taking a man by surprise, and being welcome when you have sosurprised him. The person flattered receives you into his closet atonce; and the sudden change in his heart, from the expectation of anill-wisher, to find you his friend, makes you in his full favour in amoment. The spirits that were raised so suddenly against you, are assuddenly for you. There was another instance given of this kind at thetable: a gentleman who had a very great favour done him, and anemployment bestowed upon him, without so much as being known to hisbenefactor, waited upon the great man who was so generous, and wasbeginning to say, he was infinitely obliged. "Not at all, " says thepatron, turning from him to another, "had I known a more deserving manin England, he should not have had it. "

We should certainly have had more examples, had not a gentlemanproduced a book which he thought an instance of this kind: it was apamphlet, called, "The Naked Truth. "[217] The idea any one would haveof that work from the title, was, that there would be much plaindealing with people in power, and that we should see things in theirproper light, stripped of the ornaments which are usually given to theactions of the great: but the skill of this author is such, that hehas, under that rugged appearance, approved himself the finestgentleman and courtier that ever writ. The language is extremelysublime, and not at all to be understood by the vulgar: the sentimentsare such as would make no figure in ordinary words; but such is theart of the expression, and the thoughts are elevated to so high adegree, that I question whether the discourse will sell much. Therewas an ill-natured fellow present, who hates all panegyric mortally. "P---- take him!" said he, "what the devil means his 'Naked Truth, 'in speaking nothing but to the advantage of all whom he mentions?This is just such a great action as that of the champion's on acoronation day, who challenges all mankind to dispute with him theright of the sovereign, surrounded with his guards. " The gentlemanwho produced the treatise, desired him to be cautious, and said, itwas writ by an excellent soldier, which made the company observe itmore narrowly: and, as critics are the greatest conjurers at findingout a known truth, one said, he was sure it was writ by the hand ofhis sword-arm. I could not perceive much wit in that expression: butit raised a laugh, and I suppose, was meant as a sneer upon valiant men. The same man pretended to see in the style, that it was a horse officer;but sure that's being too nice: for though you may know officers of thecavalry by the turn of their feet, I can't imagine how you shoulddiscern their hands from those of other men. But it is always thus withpedants, they will ever be carping; if a gentleman or a man of honourputs pen to paper, I don't doubt, but this author will find thisassertion too true, and that obloquy is not repulsed by the force ofarms. I will therefore set this excellent piece in a light too glaringfor weak eyes, and, in imitation of the critic Longinus, shall, as wellas I can, make my observations in a style like the author's, of whom Itreat; which perhaps I am as capable of as another, having an unboundedforce of thinking, as well as a most exquisite address, extensively andwisely indulged to me by the supreme powers. My author, I will dare toassert, shows the most universal knowledge of any writer who hasappeared this century. He is a poet, and merchant, which is seen in twomaster-words, Credit Blossoms. He is a grammarian, and a politician; forhe says, the uniting the two kingdoms is the emphasis of the security tothe Protestant Succession. Some would be apt to say he is a conjurer;for he has found that a republic is not made up of every body ofanimals, but is composed of men only, and not of horses. Liberty andproperty have chosen their retreat within the emulating circle of ahuman commonwealth. He is a physician; for he says, "I observe aconstant equality in its pulse, and a just quickness of its vigorouscirculation. " And again: "I view the strength of our Constitutionplainly appear in the sanguine and ruddy complexion of a well-contentedcity. " He is a divine; for he says, "I cannot but bless myself. " Andindeed, this excellent treatise has had that good effect upon me, who amfar from being superstitious, that I, also, can't but bless myself. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 18. 

This day arrived a mail from Lisbon, with letters of the 13th instant, N. S. , containing a particular account of the late action in Portugal. Onthe 7th instant, the army of Portugal, under the command of the Marquisde Frontera, lay on the side of the Caya, and the army of the Duke ofAnjou, commanded by the Marquis de Bay, on the other. The lattercommander having an ambition to ravage the country, in a manner in sightof the Portuguese, made a motion with the whole body of his horse towardFort St. Christopher, near the town of Badajos. The generals of thePortuguese, disdaining that such an insult should be offered to theirarms, took a resolution to pass the river, and oppose the designs of theenemy. The Earl of Galway represented to them, that the present postureof affairs was such on the side of the Allies, that there needed no moreto be done at present in that country, but to carry on a defensive part. But his arguments could not avail in the council of war. Upon which, agreat detachment of foot, and the whole of the horse of the King ofPortugal's army, passed the river, and with some pieces of cannon didgood execution on the enemy. Upon observing this, the Marquis de Bayadvanced with his horse, and attacked the right wing of the Portuguesecavalry, who faced about, and fled, without standing the firstencounter. But their foot repulsed the same body of horse in threesuccessive charges, with great order and resolution. While this wastransacting, the British general commanded the brigade of Pearce tokeep the enemy in diversion by a new attack. This was so well executed, that the Portuguese infantry had time to retire in good order, andrepass the river. But that brigade, which rescued them, was itselfsurrounded by the enemy, and Major-General Sarkey, Brigadier Pearce, together with both their regiments, and that of the Lord Galway, latelyraised, were taken prisoners. 

During the engagement, the Earl of Barrymore having advanced too far togive some necessary order, was hemmed in by a squadron of the enemy; butfound means to gallop up to the brigade of Pearce, with which he remainsalso a prisoner. My Lord Galway had his horse shot under him in thisaction; and the Conde de St. Juan, a Portuguese general, was takenprisoner. The same night the army encamped at Aronches, and on the 9thmoved to Elvas, where they lay when these despatches came away. ColonelStanwix's regiment is also taken. The whole of this affair has given thePortuguese a great idea of the capacity and courage of my Lord Galway, against whose advice they entered upon this unfortunate affair, and bywhose conduct they were rescued from it. The prodigious constancy andresolution of that great man is hardly to be paralleled, who, under theoppression of a maimed body, and the reflection of repeated ill fortune, goes on with an unspeakable alacrity in the service of the common cause. He has already put things in a very good posture after this illaccident, and made the necessary dispositions for covering the countryfrom any further attempt of the enemy, who lie still in the camp theywere in before the battle. 

Letters from Brussels, dated the 25th instant, advise, thatnotwithstanding the negotiations of a peace seem so far advanced, thatsome do confidently report the preliminaries of a treaty to be actuallyagreed on; yet the Allies hasten their preparations for opening thecampaign; and the forces of the Empire, the Prussians, the Danes, theWirtembergers, the Palatines, and Saxon auxiliaries, are in motiontowards the general rendezvous, they being already arrived in theneighbourhood of Brussels. These advices add, that the deputies of theStates of Holland having made a general review of the troops inFlanders, set out for Antwerp on the 21st instant from that place. Onthe same day the Prince Royal of Prussia came thither _incognito_, witha design to make the ensuing campaign under his Grace the Duke ofMarlborough. 

This day is published a treatise called, "The Difference between Scandaland Admonition. " By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. ; and on the 1st of Julynext, you may expect, "A Prophecy of Things Past; wherein the Art ofFortune-telling is laid open to the meanest capacity. " And on the Mondayfollowing, "Choice Sentences for the Company of Masons and Bricklayers, to be put upon new Houses, with a translation of all the Latin sentencesthat have been built of late years, together with a comment upon stonewalls, " by the same hand. 

[Footnote 213: See Tacitus, "Annals, " i. 8. ]

[Footnote 214: George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham. ]

[Footnote 215: Roger Boyle, Earl of Orrery. ]

[Footnote 216: Luke vi. 26. ]

[Footnote 217: Like Nichols, I have not been able to see a copy of thispamphlet, or the defence of it, mentioned in No. 21; but a letter fromPeter Wentworth to Lord Raby, dated 20 May, 1709, throws some light onthe matter: "Dear Brother, . . . Brigadeer Crowder of late has made sometalk in the Coffee Houses upon a peice he has lately been pleased toprint, he did me the favour to show it me some time agoe in manuscript, and I complymented him with desiring a coppy of it, that I might havethe pleasure of reading it more than once, and that I might communicatethe like sattisfaction to you by sending it to Berlin. He told me it hadthe approbation of very ingenious men and good scholars, and his verygood friends who had persuaded him to print it, and then you, as healways esteem'd to be such, shou'd be sure to have one. The day beforeyesterday he perform'd his promise but desir'd I wou'd not tell youdirectly who was the author, but recommend it to you with his mosthumble service, as from a friend of his. Yesterday came out this_Tatler_, and tho' I reckon myself a little base after all the finecomplyments he made me upon my great judgment, I can't forbear sendingit you as a fine peice of rallery upon his elaborate work, which I canassure you he has not been a little proud of. I han't seen him since toknow if this _Tatler_ has given him any mortification. I know before hewas prepar'd for the censorious, for he said lett people say what theywou'd, he was sure the intention was good, and his meaning for theservice of the public. I am sorry he has printed, for he's very civillto me, and always profess a great respect for you, and I wou'd have nonethat does so exposed" ("Wentworth Papers, " pp. 86-7). See No. 46. Awriter in "Notes and Queries" (7 S. Iii. 526), in reply to a question ofmine, stated that there is a copy of "Naked Truth, " 4to, 1709, in theBamburgh Castle Library. The pamphlet is anonymous, but is ascribed inthe catalogue to Colonel Crowder. In May 1710, Thomas Crowther was madea Major-General (Pointer's "Chron. History, " ii. 679). ]

No. 18. [STEELE AND ADDISON. [218]

From _Thursday, May 19_, to _Saturday, May 21_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 20. 

It is observed too often, that men of wit do so much employ theirthoughts upon fine speculations, that things useful to mankind arewholly neglected; and they are busy in making emendations upon someenclitics in a Greek author, while obvious things, that every man mayhave use for, are wholly overlooked. It would be a happy thing, if suchas have real capacities for public service, were employed in works ofgeneral use; but because a thing is everybody's business, it is nobody'sbusiness: this is for want of public spirit. As for my part, who am onlya student, and a man of no great interest, I can only remark things, andrecommend the correction of them to higher powers. There is an offence Ihave a thousand times lamented, but fear I shall never see remedied;which is, that in a nation where learning is so frequent as in GreatBritain, there should be so many gross errors as there are in the verydirections of things, wherein accuracy is necessary for the conduct oflife. This is notoriously observed by all men of letters when they firstcome to town (at which time they are usually curious that way) in theinscriptions on sign-posts. I have cause to know this matter as well asanybody; for I have (when I went to Merchant Taylors' School) sufferedstripes for spelling after the signs I observed in my way; though at thesame time, I must confess, staring at those inscriptions first gave mean idea and curiosity for medals; in which I have since arrived at someknowledge. [219] Many a man has lost his way and his dinner by thisgeneral want of skill in orthography: for, considering that the paintersare usually so very bad, that you cannot know the animal under whosesign you are to live that day, how must the stranger be misled, if it bewrong spelled, as well as ill painted? I have a cousin now in town, whohas answered under Bachelor at Queen's College, whose name is HumphreyMopstaff (he is akin to us by his mother). This young man going to see arelation in Barbican, wandered a whole day by the mistake of one letter;for it was written, "This is the BEER, " instead of "This is the BEAR. "He was set right at last, by inquiring for the house, of a fellow whocould not read, and knew the place mechanically, only by having beenoften drunk there. But, in the name of goodness, let us make ourlearning of use to us, or not. Was not this a shame, that a philosophershould be thus directed by a cobbler? I'll be sworn, if it were knownhow many have suffered in this kind by false spelling since the union, this matter would not long lie thus. What makes these evils the moreinsupportable, is, that they are so easily amended, and nothing done init. But it is so far from that, that the evil goes on in other arts aswell as orthography. Places are confounded, as well for want of properdistinctions, as things for want of true characters. Had I not come bythe other day very early in the morning, there might have been mischiefdone; for a worthy North Briton was swearing at Stocks Market, [220] thatthey would not let him in at his lodgings; but I knowing the gentleman, and observing him look often at the King on horseback, and then doublehis oaths, that he was sure he was right, found he mistook that forCharing Cross, by the erection of the like statue in each place. Igrant, private men may distinguish their abodes as they please; as oneof my acquaintance who lives at Marylebone, has put a good sentence ofhis own invention upon his dwelling-place, to find out where he lives:he is so near London, that his conceit is this, "The country in town;or, the town in the country"; for you know, if they are both in one, they are all one. Besides that, the ambiguity is not of greatconsequence; if you are safe at the place, it is no matter if you do notdistinctly know where to say the place is. But to return to theorthography of public places: I propose that every tradesman in thecities of London and Westminster shall give me sixpence a quarter forkeeping their signs in repair, as to the grammatical part; and I willtake into my house a Swiss Count[221] of my acquaintance, who canremember all their names without book, for despatch sake, setting up thehead of the said foreigner for my sign; the features being strong, andfit for hanging high. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 20. 

This day a mail arrived from Holland, by which there are advices fromParis, that the kingdom of France is in the utmost misery anddistraction. The merchants of Lyons have been at Court, to remonstratetheir great sufferings by the failure of their public credit; but havereceived no other satisfaction, than promises of a sudden peace; andthat their debts will be made good by funds out of the revenue, whichwill not answer, but in case of the peace which is promised. In themeantime, the cries of the common people are loud for want of bread, thegentry have lost all spirit and zeal for their country, and the kinghimself seems to languish under the anxiety of the pressing calamitiesof the nation, and retires from hearing those grievances which he hathnot power to redress. Instead of preparations for war, and the defenceof their country, there is nothing to be seen but evident marks of ageneral despair. Processions, fastings, public mournings, andhumiliations, are become the sole employments of a people, who werelately the most vain and gay of any in the universe. 

The Pope has written to the French king on the subject of a peace, andhis Majesty has answered in the lowliest terms, that he entirely submitshis affairs to divine providence, and shall soon show the world, that heprefers the tranquillity of his people to the glory of his arms, andextent of his conquests. 

Letters from the Hague of the 24th say, that his Excellency the LordTownshend delivered his credentials on that day to the States-General, as plenipotentiary from the Queen of Great Britain; as did also CountZinzendorf, who bears the same character from the Emperor. 

Prince Eugene intended to set out the next day for Brussels, and hisGrace the Duke of Marlborough on the Tuesday following. The Marquis deTorcy talks daily of going, but still continues here. The army of theAllies is to assemble on the 7th of the next month at Helchin; though itis generally believed, that the preliminaries to a treaty are fullyadjusted. 

The approach of a peace[222] strikes a panic through our armies, thoughthat of a battle could never do it, and they almost repent of theirbravery, that made such haste to humble themselves and the French king. The Duke of Marlborough, though otherwise the greatest general of theage, has plainly shown himself unacquainted with the arts of husbandinga war. He might have grown as old as the Duke of Alva, or PrinceWaldeck, in the Low Countries, and yet have got reputation enough everyyear for any reasonable man: for the command of general in Flanders hathbeen ever looked upon as a provision for life. For my part, I can't seehow his grace can answer it to the world, for the great eagerness hehath shown to send a hundred thousand of the bravest fellows in Europe abegging. But the private gentlemen of the infantry will be able to shiftfor themselves; a brave man can never starve in a country stocked withhen-roosts. "There is not a yard of linen, " says my honoured progenitor, Sir John Falstaff, "in my whole company; but as for that, " says thisworthy knight, "I am in no great pain, we shall find shirts on everyhedge. "[223] There is another sort of gentlemen whom I am much moreconcerned for, and that is, the ingenious fraternity of which I have thehonour to be an unworthy member; I mean the news-writers of GreatBritain, whether Postmen or Postboys, [224] or by what other name ortitle soever dignified or distinguished. The case of these gentlemen is, I think, more hard than that of the soldiers, considering that theyhave taken more towns, and fought more battles. They have been uponparties and skirmishes, when our armies have lain still; and given thegeneral assault to many a place, when the besiegers were quiet in theirtrenches. They have made us masters of several strong towns many weeksbefore our generals could do it; and completed victories, when ourgreatest captains have been glad to come off with a drawn battle. WherePrince Eugene has slain his thousands, Boyer[225] has slain his tenthousands. This, gentleman can indeed be never enough commended for hiscourage and intrepidity during this whole war: he has laid about himwith an inexpressible fury, and like the offended Marius of ancientRome, made such havoc among his countrymen, as must be the work of twoor three ages to repair. It must be confessed, the redoubted Mr. Buckley[226] has shed as much blood as the former; but I cannot forbearsaying (and I hope it will not look like envy) that we regard ourbrother Buckley as a Drawcansir, [227] who spares neither friend nor foe, but generally kills as many of his own side as the enemy's. It isimpossible for this ingenious sort of men to subsist after a peace:every one remembers the shifts they were driven to in the reign of KingCharles II. , when they could not furnish out a single paper of news, without lighting up a comet in Germany, or a fire in Moscow. Therescarce appeared a letter without a paragraph on an earthquake. Prodigieswere grown so familiar, that they had lost their name, as a great poetof that age has it. I remember Mr. Dyer, [228] who is justly looked uponby all the fox-hunters in the nation as the greatest statesman ourcountry has produced, was particularly famous for dealing in whales;insomuch that in five months' time (for I had the curiosity to examinehis letters on that occasion) he brought three into the mouth of theriver Thames, besides two porpoises and a sturgeon. The judicious andwary Mr. I. Dawks[229] hath all along been the rival of this greatwriter, and got himself a reputation from plagues and famines, by which, in those days, he destroyed as great multitudes as he has lately done bythe sword. In every dearth of news, Grand Cairo was sure to beunpeopled. 

It being therefore visible, that our society will be greater sufferersby the peace than the soldiery itself; insomuch that the _DailyCourant_[230] is in danger of being broken, my friend Dyer of beingreformed, and the very best of the whole band of being reduced tohalf-pay; might I presume to offer anything in the behalf of mydistressed brethren, I would humbly move, that an appendix of properapartments furnished with pen, ink, and paper, and other necessaries oflife should be added to the Hospital of Chelsea, [231] for the relief ofsuch decayed news-writers as have served their country in the wars; andthat for their exercise, they should compile the annals of theirbrother-veterans, who have been engaged in the same service, and arestill obliged to do duty after the same manner. 

I cannot be thought to speak this out of an eye to any private interest;for, as my chief scenes of action are coffee-houses, play-houses, and myown apartment, I am in no need of camps, fortifications, and fields ofbattle, to support me; I don't call out for heroes and generals to myassistance. Though the officers are broken, and the armies disbanded, Ishall still be safe as long as there are men or women, or politicians, or lovers, or poets, or nymphs, or swains, or cits, or courtiers inbeing. 

[Footnote 218: It is very possible that the first article in this number(see the allusion to medals) is by Addison, as well as the account ofthe Distress of the News-writers. ]

[Footnote 219: There is much about medals in Addison's "Remarks onseveral Parts of Italy, " 1705. His "Dialogues on Medals" was publishedposthumously by Tickell. ]

[Footnote 220: Stocks Market was so named from a pair of stocks whichwere erected there as early as the 13th century. The two statuesreferred to were really very unlike. The one was of white marble; theother, of brass, was originally intended for John Sobieski, King ofPoland, but being bought by Sir Robert Viner in 1672, it was altered anderected in honour of King Charles II. The Turk underneath the horse wasmetamorphosed into Oliver Cromwell; but his turban escaped unnoticed orunaltered, to testify the truth. The statue in Stocks Market, with theconduit and all its ornaments, was removed to make way for the MansionHouse in 1739. Marvell refers to these statues in his "Satires. "]

[Footnote 221: Heidegger. See No. 12. ]

[Footnote 222: The remainder of this paper is by Addison. See Steele'sPreface, and his Dedication of "The Drummer" to Congreve. ]

[Footnote 223: "There's but a shirt and a half in all my company; andthe half-shirt is two napkins, tacked together, and thrown over theshoulders like a herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to saythe truth, stolen from my host of St. Alban, or the red-nosed innkeeperof Daintry. But that's all one, they'll find linen enough on everyhedge. " (1 Henry IV. , act iii. Sc. 2). ]

[Footnote 224: The Tory _Postboy_ was published by Abel Roper; and theWhig _Flying Post_ by George Ridpath:

 "There Ridpath, Roper, cudgelled might ye view, The very worsted still looked black and blue. "

("Dunciad, " ii. 149. ) It is remarkable that both Roper and Ridpath diedon the same day, Feb. 5, 1726. Swift and others sometimes contributed toRoper's paper for party purposes. ]

[Footnote 225: Abel Boyer (1667-1729), author of "The Political State ofGreat Britain, " was a Whig journalist towards whom Swift felt bitterly. "The Secretary promises me to swinge him, " he wrote in 1711; "I mustmake that rogue an example for a warning to others. " Boyer compiled avaluable French and English dictionary. ]

[Footnote 226: Samuel Buckley was printer of the _London Gazette, DailyCourant_, and _Spectator_. He died in 1741. ]

[Footnote 227: Drawcansir, in "The Rehearsal, " is described by anothercharacter as "a great hero, who frights his mistress, snubs up kings, baffles armies, and does what he will, without regard to number, goodsense, or justice. "]

[Footnote 228: John Dyer was a Jacobite journalist who issued anews-letter to country subscribers, among whom was Sir Roger de Coverley(_Spectator_, No. 127), by whom he was held in high esteem. Defoe(_Review_, vi. 132) says that Dyer "did not so much write what hisreaders should believe, as what they would believe. " Vellum, inAddison's "The Drummer" (act ii. Sc. I), cannot but believe his masteris living, "because the news of his death was first published in Dyer'sLetter. " See also _Spectator_, Nos. 43 and 457. At the trial of JohnTutchin for seditious libel (Howell's "State Trials, " xiv. 1150), oncomplaint being made by counsel that Dyer had charged him with broachingseditious principles, Lord Chief Justice Holt said, "Dyer is veryfamiliar with me too sometimes; but you need not fear such a littlescandalous paper of such a scandalous author. "]

[Footnote 229: Ichabod Dawks was another "epistolary historian" (see_Spectator_, No. 457, and _Tatler_, No. 178). Dawks and Dyer are bothintroduced by Edmund Smith, author of "Phædra and Hippolitus, " in hispoem, "Charlettus Percivallo suo":

 "Scribe securus, quid agit Senatus, Quid caput stertit grave Lambethanum, Quid comes Guilford, quid habent novorum. "Dawksque Dyerque. "]

[Footnote 230: The _Daily Courant_, our first daily newspaper, was begunin 1702. ]

[Footnote 231: Chelsea Hospital, for old soldiers, was founded in 1682. ]

No. 19. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, May 21_, to _Tuesday, May 24_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, May 23. 

There is nothing can give a man of any consideration greater pain, thanto see order and distinction laid aside amongst men, especially when therank (of which he himself is a member) is intruded upon by such as haveno pretence to that honour. The appellation of Esquire is the mostnotoriously abused in this kind of any class amongst men, insomuch thatit is become almost the subject of derision: but I will be bold to say, this behaviour towards it proceeds from the ignorance of the people inits true origin. I shall therefore, as briefly as possible, do myselfand all true esquires the justice to look into antiquity upon thissubject. 

In the first ages of the world, before the invention of jointures andsettlements, when the noble passion of love had possession of the heartsof men, and the fair sex were not yet cultivated into the mercifuldisposition which they have showed in latter centuries, it was naturalfor great and heroic spirits to retire to rivulets, woods, and caves, tolament their destiny, and the cruelty of the fair persons who were deafto their lamentations. The hero in this distress was generally inarmour, and in a readiness to fight any man he met with, especially ifdistinguished by any extraordinary qualifications, it being the natureof heroic love to hate all merit, lest it should come within theobservation of the cruel one, by whom its own perfections are neglected. A lover of this kind had always about him a person of a second value, and subordinate to him, who could hear his afflictions, carry anenchantment for his wounds, hold his helmet when he was eating (if everhe did eat); or in his absence, when he was retired to his apartment inany king's palace, tell the prince himself, or perhaps his daughter, thebirth, parentage, and adventures, of his valiant master. This trustycompanion was styled his esquire, and was always fit for any officesabout him; was as gentle and chaste as a gentleman usher, quick andactive as an equerry, smooth and eloquent as a master of the ceremonies. A man thus qualified was the first, as the ancients affirm, who wascalled an esquire; and none without these accomplishments ought toassume our order: but, to the utter disgrace and confusion of theheralds, every pretender is admitted into this fraternity, even personsthe most foreign to this courteous institution. I have taken aninventory of all within this city, and looked over every letter in thepost-office for my better information. There are of the Middle Temple, including all in the buttery books, and in the lists of the house, 5000. In the Inner, 4000. In the King's Bench Walks, the whole buildings areinhabited by esquires only. The adjacent street of Essex, from Morris'Coffee-house, and the turning towards the Grecian, you cannot meet onewho is not an esquire, till you take water. Every house in Norfolk andArundel Streets is governed also by a squire, or his lady. Soho Square, Bloomsbury Square, and all other places where the floors rise above ninefeet, are so many universities, where you enter yourselves, and becomeof our order. However, if this were the worst of the evil, it were to besupported, because they are generally men of some figure and use; thoughI know no pretence they have to an honour which had its rise fromchivalry. But if you travel into the counties of Great Britain, we arestill more imposed upon by innovation. We are indeed derived from thefield: but shall that give title to all that ride mad after foxes, thathalloo when they see a hare, or venture their necks full speed after ahawk, immediately to commence esquires? No, our order is temperate, cleanly, sober, and chaste; but these rural esquires commit immodestiesupon haycocks, wear shirts half a week, and are drunk twice a day. Thesemen are also to the last degree excessive in their food: an esquire ofNorfolk eats two pounds of dumpling every meal, as if obliged to it byour order: an esquire of Hampshire is as ravenous in devouring hogs'flesh: one of Essex has as little mercy on calves. But I must take theliberty to protest against them, and acquaint those persons, that it isnot the quantity they eat, but the manner of eating, that shows asquire. But above all, I am most offended at small quillmen, andtranscribing clerks, who are all come into our order, for no reason thatI know of, but that they can easily flourish it at the end of theirname. I'll undertake, that if you read the superscriptions to all theoffices in the kingdom, you will not find three letters directed to anybut esquires. I have myself a couple of clerks, and the rogues makenothing of leaving messages upon each other's desk: one directs, to"Degory Goosequill, Esq. "; to which the other replies by a note, to"Nehemiah Dashwell, Esq. ; with respect. " In a word, it is now, _populusarmigerorum_, a people of esquires. And I don't know, but, by the lateAct of Naturalisation, [232] foreigners will assume that title, as partof the immunity of being Englishmen. All these improprieties flow fromthe negligence of the Heralds' Office. Those gentlemen in parti-colouredhabits do not so rightly, as they ought, understand themselves; thoughthey are dressed _cap-a-pié_ in hieroglyphics, they are inwardly butignorant men. I asked an acquaintance of mine, who is a man of wit, butof no fortune, and is forced to appear as Jack Pudding on the stage to amountebank: "Prithee, Jack, why is your coat of so many colours?" Hereplied, "I act a fool, and this spotted dress is to signify, that everyman living has a weak place about him; for I am knight of the shire, andrepresent you all. " I wish the heralds would know as well as this mandoes, in his way, that they are to act for us in the case of our armsand appellations: we should not then be jumbled together in sopromiscuous and absurd a manner. I design to take this matter intofurther consideration, and no man shall be received as an esquire, whocannot bring a certificate, that he has conquered some lady's obdurateheart; that he can lead up a country dance, or carry a message betweenher and her lover, with address, secrecy and diligence. A squire isproperly born for the service of the sex, and his credentials shall besigned by three toasts, and one prude, before his title shall bereceived in my office. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 23. 

On Saturday last was presented, "The Busy Body, " a comedy, written (as Ihave heretofore remarked) by a woman. [233] The plot and incidents of theplay are laid with that subtlety of spirit which is peculiar to femalesof wit, and is very seldom well performed by those of the other sex, inwhom craft in love is an act of invention, and not, as with women, theeffect of nature and instinct. 

To-morrow will be acted a play, called, "The Trip to the Jubilee. "[234]This performance is the greatest instance that we can have of theirresistible force of proper action. The dialogue in itself hassomething too low to bear a criticism upon it: but Mr. Wilks enters intothe part with so much skill, that the gallantry, the youth, and gaietyof a young man of a plentiful fortune, is looked upon with as muchindulgence on the stage, as in real life, without any of thoseintermixtures of wit and humour, which usually prepossess us in favourof such characters in other plays. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 23. 

Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N. S. , say, Mr. Walpole[235](who is since arrived) was going with all expedition to Great Britain, whither they doubted not but he carried with him the preliminaries to atreaty of peace. The French Minister, Monsieur Torcy, has been observedin this whole negotiation to turn his discourse upon the calamities sentdown by Heaven upon France, and imputed the necessities they were underto the immediate hand of Providence, in inflicting a general scarcity ofprovision, rather than the superior genius of the generals, or thebravery of the armies against them. It would be impious not toacknowledge the indulgence of Heaven to us; but at the same time, as weare to love our enemies, we are glad to see them mortified enough to mixChristianity with their politics. An authentic letter from MadameMaintenon to Monsieur Torcy has been stolen by a person about him, whohas communicated a copy of it to some of the dependants of a Minister ofthe Allies. That epistle is writ in the most pathetic manner imaginable, and in a style which shows her genius, that has so long engrossed theheart of this great monarch. [236]

"SIR, "I received yours, and am sensible of the address and capacity withwhich you have hitherto transacted the great affair under yourmanagement. You well observe, that our wants here are not to beconcealed; and that it is vanity to use artifices with the knowing menwith whom you are to deal. Let me beg you therefore, in thisrepresentation of our circumstances, to lay aside art, which ceases tobe such when it is seen, and make use of all your skill, to gain us whatadvantages you can from the enemy's jealousy of each other's greatness;which is the place where only you have room for any dexterity. If youhave any passion for your unhappy country, or any affection for yourdistressed master, come home with peace. O Heaven! Do I live to talk ofLewis the Great as the object of pity? The king shows a great uneasinessto be informed of all that passes; but at the same time, is fearful ofevery one who appears in his presence, lest he should bring an accountof some new calamity. I know not in what terms to represent my thoughtsto you, when I speak of the king, with relation to his bodily health. Figure to yourself that immortal man, who stood in our public places, represented with trophies, armour, and terrors, on his pedestal:consider, the Invincible, the Great, the Good, the Pious, the Mighty, which were the usual epithets we gave him, both in our language andthoughts. I say, consider him whom you knew the most glorious and greatof monarchs; and now think you see the same man an unhappy Lazar, in thelowest circumstances of human nature itself, without regard to the statefrom whence he is fallen. I write from his bedside: he is at present ina slumber. I have many, many things to add; but my tears flow too fast, and my sorrow is too big for utterance. 

"I am, etc. "

There is such a veneration due from all men to the persons of princes, that it were a sort of dishonesty to represent further the conditionwhich the king is in; but it is certain, that soon after the receipt ofthese advices, Monsieur Torcy waited upon his Grace the Duke ofMarlborough and the Lord Townshend, and in that conference gave up manypoints, which he had before said were such, as he must return to Francebefore he could answer. 

[Footnote 232: See No. 13. ]

[Footnote 233: Mrs. Centlivre. See No. 15. ]

[Footnote 234: Wilks took the part of Sir Harry Wildair in Farquhar's"The Constant Couple; or, A Trip to the Jubilee, " 1699. ]

[Footnote 235: Horatio Walpole, Secretary to the Embassy at the Hague, and brother of Sir Robert Walpole. ]

[Footnote 236: This letter is a pure invention. ]

No. 20. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, May 24_, to _Thursday, May 26_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, May 24. 

It is not to be imagined how far prepossession will run away withpeople's understandings, in cases wherein they are under presentuneasiness. The following narration is a sufficient testimony of thetruth of this observation. 

I had the honour the other day of a visit from a gentlewoman (a strangerto me) who seemed to be about thirty. Her complexion is brown; but theair of her face has an agreeableness, which surpasses the beauties ofthe fairest women. There appeared in her look and mien a sprightlyhealth; and her eyes had too much vivacity to become the language ofcomplaint, which she began to enter into. She seemed sensible of it; andtherefore, with downcast looks, said she, "Mr. Bickerstaff, you seebefore you the unhappiest of women; and therefore, as you are esteemedby all the world both a great civilian, as well as an astrologer, I mustdesire your advice and assistance, in putting me in a method ofobtaining a divorce from a marriage, which I know the law will pronouncevoid. " "Madam, " said I, "your grievance is of such a nature, that youmust be very ingenuous in representing the causes of your complaint, orI cannot give you the satisfaction you desire. " "Sir, " she answers, "Ibelieved there would be no need of half your skill in the art ofdivination, to guess why a woman would part from her husband. " "It istrue, " said I; "but suspicions, or guesses at what you mean, naycertainty of it, except you plainly speak it, are no foundation for aformal suit. " She clapped her fan before her face; "My husband, " saidshe, "is no more a husband" (here she burst into tears) "than one of theItalian singers. "

"Madam, " said I, "the affliction you complain of, is to be redressed bylaw; but at the same time, consider what mortifications you are to gothrough in bringing it into open court; how you will be able to bear theimpertinent whispers of the people present at the trial, the licentiousreflections of the pleaders, and the interpretations that will ingeneral be put upon your conduct by all the world: 'How little, ' willthey say, 'could that lady command her passions. ' Besides, consider, that curbing our desires is the greatest glory we can arrive at in thisworld, and will be most rewarded in the next. " She answered, like aprudent matron, "Sir, if you please to remember the office of matrimony, the first cause of its institution is that of having posterity:therefore, as to the curbing desires, I am willing to undergo anyabstinence from food as you please to enjoin me; but I cannot, with anyquiet of mind, live in the neglect of a necessary duty, and an expresscommandment, Increase and multiply. " Observing she was learned, andknew so well the duties of life, I turned my arguments rather to dehorther from this public procedure by examples, than precepts. "Do butconsider, madam, what crowds of beauteous women live in nunneries, secluded for ever from the sight and conversation of men, with all thealacrity of spirit imaginable; they spend their time in heavenlyraptures, in constant and frequent devotions, and at proper hours inagreeable conversations. " "Sir, " said she hastily, "tell not me ofPapists, or any of their idolatries. " "Well then, madam, consider howmany fine ladies live innocently in the eye of the world, and this gaytown, in the midst of temptation: there's the witty Mrs. W---- is avirgin of 44, Mrs. T----s is 39, Mrs. L----ce, 33; yet you see, theylaugh and are gay, at the park, at the playhouse, at balls, and atvisits; and so much at ease, that all this seems hardly a self-denial. ""Mr. Bickerstaff, " said she, with some emotion, "you are an excellentcasuist; but the last word destroyed your whole argument; if it is notself-denial, it is no virtue. I presented you with a half-guinea, inhopes not only to have my conscience eased, but my fortune told. Yet--""Well, madam, " said I, "pray of what age is your husband?" "He is, "replied my injured client, "fifty, and I have been his wife fifteenyears. " "How happened it, you never communicated your distress in allthis time to your friends and relations?" She answered, "He has beenthus but a fortnight. " I am the most serious man in the world to lookat, and yet could not forbear laughing out. "Why, madam, in case ofinfirmity, which proceeds only from age, the law gives no remedy. ""Sir, " said she, "I find you have no more learning than Dr. Case;[237]and I am told of a young man, not five and twenty, just come fromOxford, to whom I will communicate this whole matter, and doubt not buthe will appear to have seven times more useful and satisfactoryknowledge than you and all your boasted family. " Thus I have entirelylost my client: but if this tedious narrative preserves Pastorella fromthe intended marriage with one twenty years her senior--To save a finelady, I am contented to have my learning decried, and my predictionsbound up with Poor Robin's Almanacks. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 25. 

This evening was acted, "The Recruiting Officer, "[238] in which Mr. Estcourt's[239] proper sense and observation is what supports the play. There is not, in my humble opinion, the humour hit in Sergeant Kite; butit is admirably supplied by his action. If I have skill to judge, thatman is an excellent actor; but the crowd of the audience are fitter forrepresentations at Mayfair, than a theatre royal. Yet that fair is nowbroke, [240] as well as the theatre is breaking: but it is allowed stillto sell animals there. Therefore, if any lady or gentleman have occasionfor a tame elephant, let them inquire of Mr. Pinkethman, who has one todispose of at a reasonable rate. [241] The downfall of Mayfair has quitesunk the price of this noble creature, as well as of many othercuriosities of nature. A tiger will sell almost as cheap as an ox; and Iam credibly informed, a man may purchase a cat with three legs, for verynear the value of one with four. I hear likewise, that there is a greatdesolation among the gentlemen and ladies who were the ornaments of thetown, and used to shine in plumes and diadems; the heroes being most ofthem pressed, and the queens beating hemp. Mrs. Sarabrand, so famous forher ingenious puppet-show, has set up a shop in the Exchange, [242] whereshe sells her little troop under the term of jointed babies. [243] Icould not but be solicitous to know of her, how she had disposed of thatrake-hell Punch, whose lewd life and conversation had given so muchscandal, and did not a little contribute to the ruin of the fair. Shetold me, with a sigh, that despairing of ever reclaiming him, she wouldnot offer to place him in a civil family, but got him in a post upon astall in Wapping, where he may be seen from sun-rising to sun-setting, with a glass in one hand, and a pipe in the other, as sentry to abrandy-shop. The great revolutions of this nature bring to my mind thedistresses of the unfortunate Camilla[244], who has had the ill-luck tobreak before her voice, and to disappear at a time when her beauty wasin the height of its bloom. This lady entered so thoroughly into thegreat characters she acted, that when she had finished her part, shecould not think of retrenching her equipage, but would appear in her ownlodgings with the same magnificence that she did upon the stage. Thisgreatness of soul has reduced that unhappy princess to an involuntaryretirement, where she now passes her time among the woods and forests, thinking on the crowns and sceptres she has lost, and often humming overin her solitude, _"I was born of royal race, Yet must wander in disgrace, " &c. _

But for fear of being overheard, and her quality known, she usuallysings it in Italian:

 _"Naqui al regno, naqui al trono E pur sono Inventurata Pastorella--"_

Since I have touched upon this subject, I shall communicate to my readerpart of a letter I have received from an ingenious friend at Amsterdam, where there is a very noble theatre; though the manner of furnishing itwith actors is something peculiar to that place, and gives us occasionto admire both the politeness and frugality of the people. 

My friends have kept me here a week longer than ordinary to see one oftheir plays, which was performed last night with great applause. Theactors are all of them tradesmen, who, after their day's work is over, earn about a guilder a night by personating kings and generals. The heroof the tragedy I saw, was a journeyman tailor, and his first minister ofstate a coffee-man. The empress made me think of Parthenope[245] in "TheRehearsal"; for her mother keeps an ale-house in the suburbs ofAmsterdam. When the tragedy was over, they entertained us with a shortfarce, in which the cobbler did his part to a miracle; but upon inquiry, I found he had really been working at his own trade, and representing onthe stage what he acted every day in his shop. The profits of thetheatre maintain a hospital: for as here they do not think theprofession of an actor the only trade that a man ought to exercise, sothey will not allow anybody to grow rich on a profession that in theiropinion so little conduces to the good of the commonwealth. If I am notmistaken, your playhouses in England have done the same thing; for, unless I am misinformed, the hospital at Dulwich was erected and endowedby Mr. Alleyn, [246] a player: and it is also said, a famousshe-tragedian[247] has settled her estate, after her death, for themaintenance of decayed wits, who are to be taken in as soon as they growdull, at whatever time of their life that shall happen. 

St. James's Coffee-house, May 25. 

Letters from the Hague of the 31st instant, N. S. , say, that the articlespreliminary to a general peace were settled, communicated to theStates-General and all the foreign Ministers residing there, andtransmitted to their respective masters on the 28th. Monsieur Torcyimmediately returned to the Court of France, from whence he is expectedagain on the 4th of the next month, with those articles ratified by thatCourt. The Hague is agreed upon for the place of treaty, and the 15th ofthe next month the day on which it is to commence. The terms on whichthis negotiation is founded, are not yet declared by public authority;but what is most generally received, is as follows:

Her Majesty's right and title, and the Protestant succession to thosedominions, is forthwith to be acknowledged. King Charles is also to beowned the lawful sovereign of Spain; and the French king shall not onlyrecall his troops out of that kingdom, and deliver up to the Allies thetowns of Roses, Fontarabia, and Pampeluna; but in case the Duke of Anjoushall not retire out of the Spanish dominions, he shall be obliged toassist the Allies to force him from thence. A cessation of arms isagreed upon for two months from the first day of the treaty. The portand fortifications of Dunkirk are to be demolished within four months;but the town itself left in the hands of the French. The Pretender is tobe obliged to leave France. All Newfoundland is to be restored to theEnglish. As to the other parts of America, the French are to restorewhatever they may have taken from the English, as the English in likemanner to give up what they may have taken from the French before thecommencement of the treaty. The trade between Great Britain and Franceshall be settled upon the same foundation as in the reign of KingCharles II. 

The Dutch are to have for their barriers, Nieuport, Berg, St. Vinox, Furnes, Ipres, Lille, Tournay, Douay, Valenciennes, Condé, Maubeuge, Mons, Charleroy, Namur, and Luxemburg; all which places shall bedelivered up to the Allies before the end of June. The trade betweenHolland and France shall be on the same foot as in 1664. The cities ofStrasburg, Brisac, and Alsatia, shall be restored to the Emperor andEmpire; and the King of France, pursuant to the Treaty of Westphalia in1648, shall only retain the protection of ten imperial cities, viz. , Colmar, Schlestat, Haguenau, Munster, Turkeim, Keisemberg, Obrenheim, Rosheim, Weisemburg, and Landau. Huninguen, Fort Louis, Fort Kiel, andNew Brisac shall be demolished, and all the fortifications from Basle toPhilipsburg. The King of Prussia shall remain in the peaceablepossession of Neufchatel. The affair of Orange, as also the pretensionsof his Prussian Majesty in the French Comté, shall be determined at thisgeneral negotiation of peace. The Duke of Savoy shall have a restitutionmade of all that has been taken from him by the French, and remainmaster of Exilles, Chamont, Fenestrelles, and the Valley ofPragelas. [248]

[Footnote 237: John Case, astrologer and friend of John Partridge, succeeded to Saffold's habitation in Blackfriars gateway, opposite toLudgate Church, whence he issued many advertisements. "Their oldphysician begged they would not forget him--he gives his advice fornothing--his cures are private. At Lilly's Head, &c. , is the only placeto obtain health, long life, and happiness, by your old friend Dr. Case, who extirpates the foundation of all diseases":

 "At the Golden Ball and Lillie's Head John Case lives though Saffold's dead. "

His handbills were commonly adorned with a variety of emblematic devicesand poetry. See note on Kirleus, in No. 14; and Nos. 216, 240. Case'smost important book was his "Compendium Anatomicum nova methodoinstitutum, " 1695. ]

[Footnote 238: By Farquhar; first acted in 1706. ]

[Footnote 239: Richard Estcourt (1668-1712), whom Farquhar speciallyselected to act the part of Sergeant Kite, is celebrated by Steele in awell-known paper in the _Spectator_ (No. 468; see also No. 390). Estcourt was providore of the Beefsteak Club, and wrote two or threedramatic pieces. See No. 51. ]

[Footnote 240: See No. 4. This article was printed by Tickell amongAddison's works. ]

[Footnote 241: In 1704, Pinkethman advertised that at his booth he wouldspeak an epilogue upon an elephant between nine and ten feet high, arrived from Guinea, led upon the stage by six blacks. ]

[Footnote 242: This may be either the Royal Exchange or the NewExchange, in the Strand. There were shops for the sale of trinkets andtoys at both places. ]

[Footnote 243: "Baby" was a term often applied to dolls. ]

[Footnote 244: Mrs. Katherine Tofts sang in English to Nicolini'sItalian, in Buononcini's opera of "Camilla, " but this absurdity wasforgiven on account of the charm of their voices. In 1709, in the heightof her beauty, Mrs. Tofts left the stage, owing to her intellectbecoming disordered; but afterwards she married Mr. Joseph Smith, agentleman who lived in great state; but his wife's mind again gave way, and she spent hours walking and singing in a garden attached to a remotepart of the house. She died in 1760. See _Spectator, _ Nos. 18, 22 and443, where there is a letter purporting to be from Mrs. Tofts, atVenice. ]

[Footnote 245: In act iii. Sc. 2 of "The Rehearsal, " Prince Volsciusfalls in love at first sight with Parthenope, who says:

 "My mother, sir, sells ale by the town-walls, And me her dear Parthenope she calls;"

whereupon Volscius (repeating words from Davenant's "Siege of Rhodes")replies:

 "Can vulgar vestments high-born beauty shroud? Thou bring'st the morning pictured in a cloud. "]

[Footnote 246: Edward Alleyn, the actor, who died in 1626, aged 61, founded Dulwich Hospital. ]

[Footnote 247: Mrs. Bracegirdle; see No. 1. ]

[Footnote 248: "It is said that Monsieur Torcy, when he signed thisinstrument broke into this exclamation: 'Would Colbert have signed sucha treaty for France?' On which a Minister present was pleased to say, 'Colbert himself would have been proud to have saved France in thesecircumstances on such terms'" (folio). ]

No. 21. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, May 26_, to _Saturday, May 28_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, May 26. 

A gentleman has writ to me out of the country a very civil letter, andsaid things which I suppress with great violence to my vanity. There aremany terms in my narratives which he complains want explaining, and hastherefore desired, that, for the benefit of my country readers, I wouldlet him know what I mean by a Gentleman, a Pretty Fellow, a Toast, aCoquette, a Critic, a Wit, and all other appellations in the gayerworld, who are in present possession of these several characters;together with an account of those who unfortunately pretend to them. Ishall begin with him we usually call a Gentleman, or man ofconversation. It is generally thought, that warmth of imagination, quickrelish of pleasure, and a manner of becoming it, are the most essentialqualities for forming this sort of man. But any one that is much incompany will observe, that the height of good breeding is shown ratherin never giving offence, than in doing obliging things. Thus, he thatnever shocks you, though he is seldom entertaining, is more likely tokeep your favour, than he who often entertains, and sometimes displeasesyou. The most necessary talent therefore in a man of conversation, whichis what we ordinarily intend by a fine gentleman, is a good judgment. Hethat has this in perfection, is master of his companion, without lettinghim see it; and has the same advantage over men of any otherqualifications whatsoever, as one that can see would have over a blindman of ten times his strength. This is what makes Sophronius thedarling of all who converse with him, and the most powerful with hisacquaintance of any man in town. By the light of this faculty, he actswith great ease and freedom among the men of pleasure, and acquitshimself with skill and despatch among the men of business. This heperforms with so much success, that, with as much discretion in life asany man ever had, he neither is, nor appears, cunning. But as he does agood office, if he ever does it, with readiness and alacrity; so hedenies what he does not care to engage in, in a manner that convincesyou, that you ought not to have asked it. His judgment is so good andunerring, and accompanied with so cheerful a spirit, that hisconversation is a continual feast, at which he helps some, and is helpedby others, in such a manner, that the equality of society is perfectlykept up, and every man obliges as much as he is obliged: for it is thegreatest and justest skill in a man of superior understanding, to knowhow to be on a level with his companions. This sweet disposition runsthrough all the actions of Sophronius, and makes his company desired bywomen, without being envied by men. Sophronius would be as just as heis, if there were no law; and would be as discreet as he is, if therewere no such thing as calumny. 

In imitation of this agreeable being, is made that animal we call aPretty Fellow; who being just able to find out, that what makesSophronius acceptable, is a natural behaviour; in order to the samereputation, makes his own an artificial one. Jack Dimple is his perfectmimic, whereby he is of course the most unlike him of all men living. Sophronius just now passed into the inner room directly forward: Jackcomes as fast after as he can for the right and left looking-glass, inwhich he had but just approved himself by a nod at each, and marched on. He will meditate within for half an hour, till he thinks he is notcareless enough in his air, and come back to the mirror to recollect hisforgetfulness. 

Will's Coffee-house, May 27. 

This night was acted the comedy, called, "The Fox";[249] but I wonderthe modern writers do not use their interest in the house to suppresssuch representations. A man that has been at this, will hardly like anyother play during the season: therefore I humbly move, that thewritings, as well as dresses, of the last age, should give way to thepresent fashion. We are come into a good method enough (if we were notinterrupted in our mirth by such an apparition as a play of Jonson's) tobe entertained at more ease, both to the spectator and the writer, thanin the days of old. It is no difficulty to get hats, and swords, andwigs, and shoes, and everything else, from the shops in town, and make aman show himself by his habit, without more ado, to be a counsellor, afop, a courtier, or a citizen, and not be obliged to make thosecharacters talk in different dialects to be distinguished from eachother. This is certainly the surest and best way of writing: but such aplay as this makes a man for a month after overrun with criticism, andinquire, what every man on the stage said? What had such a one to do tomeddle with such a thing? How came the other, who was bred after such amanner, to speak so like a man conversant among a different people?These questions rob us of all our pleasure; for at this rate, no onesentence in a play should be spoken by any one character, which couldpossibly enter into the head of any other man represented in it; butevery sentiment should be peculiar to him only who utters it. LaboriousBen's works will bear this sort of inquisition; but if the presentwriters were thus examined, and the offences against this rule cut out, few plays would be long enough for the whole evening's entertainment. But I don't know how they did in those old times: this same Ben Jonsonhas made every one's passion in this play be towards money, and yet notone of them expresses that desire, or endeavours to obtain it any waybut what is peculiar to him only: one sacrifices his wife, another hisprofession, another his posterity from the same motive; but theircharacters are kept so skilfully apart, that it seems prodigious theirdiscourses should rise from the invention of the same author. But thepoets are a nest of hornets, and I'll drive these thoughts no farther, but must mention some hard treatment I am like to meet with from mybrother-writers. I am credibly informed, that the author of a play, called, "Love in a Hollow Tree, "[250] has made some remarks upon my latediscourse on "The Naked Truth. "[251] I cannot blame a gentleman forwriting against any error; it is for the good of the learned world. ButI would have the thing fairly left between us two, and not under theprotection of patrons. But my intelligence is, that he has dedicated histreatise to the Honourable Mr. Ed----d H----rd. [252]

From my own Apartment, May 27. 

"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. _

"York, May 16, 1709. 

"SIR, "Being convinced as the whole world is, how infallible your predictionsare, and having the honour to be your near relation, of the Staffianfamily, I was under great concern at one of your predictions relating toyourself, wherein you foretold your own death would happen on the 17thinstant, unless it were prevented by the assistance of well-disposedpeople:[253] I have therefore prevailed on my own modesty to send you apiece of news, which may serve instead of Goddard's Drops, [254] to keepyou alive for two days, till nature be able to recover itself, or tillyou meet with some better help from other hands. Therefore, withoutfurther ceremony, I will go on to relate a singular adventure justhappened in the place where I am writing, wherein it may be highlyuseful for the public to be informed. [255]

"Three young ladies of our town were on Saturday last indicted forwitchcraft. The witnesses against the first deposed upon oath beforeJustice Bindover, that she kept spirits locked up in velvets, whichsometimes appeared in flames of blue fire; that she used magical herbs, with some of which she drew in hundreds of men daily to her, who wentout from her presence all inflamed, their mouths parched, and a hotsteam issuing from them, attended with a grievous stench; that many ofthe said men were by the force of that herb metamorphosed into swine, and lay wallowing in the kennels for twenty-four hours, before theycould reassume their shapes or their senses. 

"It was proved against the second, that she cut off by night the limbsfrom dead bodies that were hanged, and was seen to dig holes in theground, to mutter some conjuring words, and bury pieces of the flesh, after the usual manner of witches. 

"The third was accused for a notorious piece of sorcery, long practisedby hags, of moulding up pieces of dough into the shapes of men, women, and children; then heating them at a gentle fire, which had asympathetic power to torment the bowels of those in the neighbourhood. 

"This was the sum of what was objected against the three ladies, whoindeed had nothing to say in their own defence, but downright denyingthe facts, which is like to avail very little when they come upon theirtrials. 

"But the parson of our parish, a strange refractory man, will believenothing of all this; so that the whole town cries out, 'Shame! that oneof his coat should be such an atheist;' and design to complain of him tothe bishop. He goes about very oddly to solve the matter. He supposes, that the first of these ladies keeping a brandy and tobacco shop, thefellows went out smoking, and got drunk towards evening, and madethemselves beasts. He says, the second is a butcher's daughter, andsometimes brings a quarter of mutton from the slaughter-house overnightagainst a market-day, and once buried a bit of beef in the ground, as aknown receipt to cure warts on her hands. The parson affirms, that thethird sells gingerbread, which, to please the children, she is forced tostamp with images before it is baked; and if it burns their guts, it isbecause they eat too much, or do not drink after it. 

"These are the answers he gives to solve this wonderful phenomenon; uponwhich I shall not animadvert, but leave it among the philosophers: andso wishing you all success in your undertakings for the amendment of theworld, I remain, "Dear Cousin, "Your most affectionate Kinsman, "and humble Servant, "EPHRAIM BEDSTAFF. "

"P. S. --Those who were condemned to death among the Athenians, wereobliged to take a dose of poison, which made them die upwards, seizingfirst upon their feet, making them cold and insensible, and so ascendinggradually, till it reached the vital parts. I believe your death, whichyou foretold would happen on the 17th instant, will fall out the sameway, and that your distemper hath already seized on you, and makesprogress daily. The lower part of you, that is, the advertisements, [256]is dead; and these have risen for these ten days last past, so that theynow take up almost a whole paragraph. Pray, sir, do your endeavour todrive this distemper as much as possible to the extreme parts, and keepit there, as wise folks do the gout; for if it once gets into yourstomach, it will soon fly up into your head, and you are a dead man. "

St. James's Coffee-house, May 27. 

We hear from Leghorn, that Sir Edward Whitaker, with five men-of-war, four transports, and two fire-ships, was arrived at that port, andAdmiral Byng was suddenly expected. Their squadrons being joined, theydesign to sail directly for Final, to transport the reinforcements, lodged in those parts, to Barcelona. 

They write from Milan, that Count Thaun arrived there on the 16thinstant, N. S. , and proceeded on his journey to Turin on the 21st, inorder to concert such measures with his royal highness, as shall appearnecessary for the operations of the ensuing campaign. 

Advices from Dauphiny say, that the troops of the Duke of Savoy beganalready to appear in those valleys, whereof he made himself master thelast year; and that the Duke of Berwick applied himself with allimaginable diligence to secure the passes of the mountains by orderingentrenchments to be made towards Briançon, Tourneau, and the Valley ofQueiras. That general has also been at Marseilles and Toulon, to hastenthe transportation of the corn and provisions designed for his army. 

Letters from Vienna, bearing date May 23, N. S. , import, that theCardinal of Saxe-Zeits and the Prince of Lichtenstein were preparing toset out for Presburg, to assist at the Diet of the States of Hungary, which is to be assembled at that place on the 25th of this month. General Heister would shortly appear at the head of his army atTrentschin, which place is appointed for the general rendezvous of theImperial forces in Hungary; from whence he will advance to lay siege toNeuhausel: in the meantime, reinforcements, with a great train ofartillery, are marching the same way. The King of Denmark arrived on theboth instant at Innspruck, and on the 26th at Dresden, under a tripledischarge of the artillery of that place; but his Majesty refused theceremonies of a public entry. 

Our letters from the Upper Rhine say, that the Imperial army began toform itself at Etlingen; where the respective deputies of the ElectorPalatine, the Prince of Baden Durlach, the Bishopric of Spires, &c. Wereassembled, and had taken the necessary measures for the provision offorage, the security of the country against the incursions of the enemy, and laying a bridge over the Rhine. Several vessels laden with corn aredaily passing before Frankfort for the Lower Rhine. 

Letters from Poland inform us, that a detachment of Muscovite cavalry, under the command of General Infland, had joined the confederate army;and the infantry commanded by General Goltz, was expected to come upwithin few days. These succours will amount to 20, 000 men. 

Our last advices from the Hague, dated June the 4th, N. S. , say, thatthey expected a courier from the French Court with the ratification ofthe preliminaries that night or the day following. His Grace the Duke ofMarlborough will set out for Brussels on Wednesday or Thursday next, ifthe despatches which are expected from Paris don't alter hisresolutions. Letters from Majorca confirm the honourable capitulation ofthe castle of Alicante, and also the death of the governor, Major-General Richards, Colonel Sibourg, and Major Vignolles, who wereall buried in the ruins of that place, by the springing of their greatmine, which did, it seems, more execution than was reported. MonsieurTorcy passed through Mons in his return, and had there a long conferencewith the Elector of Bavaria; after which, that prince spoke publicly ofthe treatment he had from France with the utmost indignation. 

Any person that shall come publicly abroad in a fantastical habit, contrary to the present mode and fashion, except Don DiegoDismallo, [257] or any other out of poverty, shall have his name anddress inserted in our next. 

N. B. --Mr. How'd'call is desired to leave off those buttons. 

[Footnote 249: Ben Jonson's "Volpone; or, The Fox. "]

[Footnote 250: The comedy, "Love in a Hollow Tree; or, The Lawyer'sFortune, " was published by William, Lord Viscount Grimston (1683-1756), when he was twenty-two years of age. On the occasion of a contestedelection for the borough of St. Albans (1736), it was reprinted--by theDuchess of Marlborough, it is said--with notes attacking the author, andadorned with the frontispiece of an elephant dancing on a rope. Theviscount bought up as nearly as he could the whole edition. "This worthynotleman was a good husband to one of the best of wives, an indulgentfather of a numerous offspring, a kind master to his servants, agenerous friend, and an affable, hospitable neighbour. " (Biog. Dram. )]

[Footnote 251: See No. 17]

[Footnote 252: Probably the Hon. Edward Howard, second son of Henry, fifth Earl of Suffolk. On the death of his nephew without issue in 1722, he became eighth Earl of Suffolk, but he died unmarried in 1731. ]

[Footnote 253: See No. 7. ]

[Footnote 254: Dr. Jonathan Goddard, the physician and confidant ofCromwell, a member of the Royal Society, and medical professor ofGresham College, discovered in the course of his chemical experiments, the famous elixir, called here his "drops. " Dr. Goddard died of anapoplexy in 1675. "March 24, 1674-5. About 10 o'clock that night, myvery good friend, Dr. Jonathan Goddard, reader of the physic lectures atGresham College, suddenly fell down dead in the street, as he wasentering into a coach. He was a pretty corpulent and tall man, abachelor between 45 and 50 years of age; he was melancholy, inclined tobe cynical, and used now and then to complain of giddiness in his head. He was an excellent mathematician, and some time physician to Oliver theProtector" (John Coniers, apothecary, in Shoe Lane. MSS. Sloan. 958). The "drops" were a preparation of spirit of hartshorn, with otherthings; they were used in fainting, apoplexies, &c. ]

[Footnote 255: With this satire on the vulgar prejudices concerningwitches, may be compared what Addison says in the _Spectator_ (No. 117):"I believe in general that there is and has been such a thing aswitchcraft; but at the same time can give no credit to any particularinstance of it. "]

[Footnote 256: The number of advertisements in the Tatler graduallyincreased; but as a compensation the "news" paragraph was dropped. ]

[Footnote 257: This name was afterwards applied by the Tory writers tothe Earl of Nottingham; and the author of the 'Examiner' (vol. Iii. No48) says that it was Steele who first used the name for this nobleman, "and upon no less an important affair, than the oddness of his buttons. "In the 'Guardian (No. 53), however, Steele disavowed any reference toLord Nottingham: "I do not remember the mention of Don Diego; nor do Iremember tht ever I thought of Lord Nottingham in any character drawn inany one paper of Bickerstaff. " See also No. 31, below. ]

No. 22. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, May 28_, to _Tuesday, May 31_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, May 28. 

I came hither this evening to see fashions, and who should I firstencounter but my old friend Cynthio[258] (encompassed by a crowd ofyoung fellows) dictating on the passion of love with the gayest airimaginable. "Well, " says he, "as to what I know of the matter, there isnothing but ogling with skill carries a woman; but indeed it is notevery fool that is capable of this art: you will find twenty can speakeloquently, fifty can fight manfully, and a thousand that can dressgenteelly at a mistress, where there is one that can gaze skilfully. This requires an exquisite judgment, to take the language of her eyes toyours exactly, and not let yours talk too fast for hers; as at a playbetween the acts, when Beau Frisk stands upon a bench full inLindamira's face, and her dear eyes are searching round to avoid thatflaring open fool; she meets the watchful glance of her true lover, andsees his heart attentive on her charms, and waiting for a second twinkleof her eye for its next motion. " Here the good company sneered; but hegoes on. "Nor is this attendance a slavery, when a man meetsencouragement, and her eye comes often in his way: for, after an eveningso spent, and the repetition of four or five significant looks at him, the happy man goes home to his lodging, full of ten thousand pleasingimages: his brain is dilated, and gives him all the ideas and prospectswhich it ever lets in to its seat of pleasure. Thus a kind look fromLindamira revives in his imagination all the beauteous lawns, greenfields, woods, forests, rivers and solitudes, which he had ever beforeseen in picture, description, or real life: and all with this addition, that he now sees them with the eyes of a happy lover, as before onlywith those of a common man. You laugh, gentlemen: but consideryourselves (you common people that were never in love) and compareyourselves in good humour with yourselves out of humour, and you willthen acknowledge, that all external objects affect you according to thedisposition you are in to receive their impressions, and not as thoseobjects are in their own nature. How much more shall all that passeswithin his view and observation, touch with delight a man who isprepossessed with successful love, which is an assemblage of softaffections, gay desires, and hopeful resolutions?" Poor Cynthio went onat this rate to the crowd about him, without any purpose in his talk, but to vent a heart overflowing with sense of success. I wondered whatcould exalt him from the distress in which he had long appeared, to somuch alacrity. But my familiar has given me the state of his affairs. Itseems then, that lately coming out of the play-house, his mistress, whoknows he is in her livery (as the manner of insolent beauties is), resolved to keep him still so, and gave him so much wages, as tocomplain to him of the crowd she was to pass through. He had his witsand resolution enough about him to take her hand, and say, he wouldattend her to her coach. All the way thither, my good young manstammered at every word, and stumbled at every step. His mistress, wonderfully pleased with her triumph, put him to a thousand questions, to make a man of his natural wit speak with hesitation, and let drop herfan, to see him recover it awkwardly. This is the whole foundation ofCynthio's recovery to the sprightly air he appears with at present. Igrew mighty curious to know something more of that lady's affairs, asbeing amazed how she could dally with an offer of one of his merit andfortune. I sent Pacolet to her lodgings; he immediately brought me backthe following letter to her friend and confidante Amanda in the country, wherein she has opened her heart and all its folds. 

"DEAR AMANDA, The town grows so empty, that you must expect my letter so too, exceptyou will allow me to talk of myself instead of others: you cannotimagine what pain it is, after a whole day spent in public, to wantyour company, and the ease which friendship allows in being vain to eachother, and speaking all our minds. An account of the slaughter whichthese unhappy eyes have made within ten days last past, would make meappear too great a tyrant to be allowed in a Christian country. I shalltherefore confine myself to my principal conquests, which are the heartsof Beau Frisk, and Jack Freeland, besides Cynthio, who, you know, woremy fetters before you went out of town. Shall I tell you my weakness? Ibegin to love Frisk: it is the best-humoured impertinent thing in theworld: he is always too in waiting, and will certainly carry me off onetime or other. Freeland's father and mine have been upon treaty withoutconsulting me; and Cynthio has been eternally watching my eyes, withoutapproaching me, my friends, my maid, or any one about me: he hopes toget me, I believe, as they say the rattlesnake does the squirrel, bystaring at me till I drop into his mouth. Freeland demands me for ajointure which he thinks deserves me; Cynthio thinks nothing high enoughto be my value: Freeland therefore will take it for no obligation tohave me; and Cynthio's idea of me, is what will vanish by knowing mebetter. Familiarity will equally turn the veneration of the one, and theindifference of the other, into contempt. I will stick therefore to myold maxim, to have that sort of man, who can have no greater views thanwhat are in my power to give him possession of. The utmost of my dearFrisk's ambition is, to be thought a man of fashion; and therefore hasbeen so much in mode, as to resolve upon me, because the whole townlikes me. Thus I choose rather a man who loves me because others do, than one who approves me on his own judgment. He that judges for himselfin love, will often change his opinion; but he that follows the sense ofothers, must be constant, as long as a woman can make advances. Thevisits I make, the entertainments I give, and the addresses I receive, will be all arguments for me with a man of Frisk's second-hand genius;but would be so many bars to my happiness with any other man. However, since Frisk can wait, I shall enjoy a summer or two longer, and remain asingle woman, in the sublime pleasure of being followed and admired;which nothing can equal, except that of being beloved by you. 

"I am, &c. "

Will's Coffee-house, May 30. 

My chief business here this evening was to speak to my friends in behalfof honest Cave Underhill, [259] who has been a comic for threegenerations: my father[260] admired him extremely when he was a boy. There is certainly nature excellently represented in his manner ofaction; in which he ever avoided that general fault in players, of doingtoo much. It must be confessed, he has not the merit of some ingeniouspersons now on the stage, of adding to his authors; for the actors wereso dull in the last age, that many of them have gone out of the world, without having ever spoke one word of their own in the theatre. PoorCave is so mortified, that he quibbles, and tells you, he pretends onlyto act a part fit for a man who has one foot in the grave; viz. , agravedigger. All admirers of true comedy, it is hoped, will have thegratitude to be present on the last day of his acting, who, if he doesnot happen to please them, will have it even then to say, that it is hisfirst offence. 

But there is a gentleman here, who says he has it from good hands, thatthere is actually a subscription made by many persons of wit andquality, for the encouragement of new comedies. This design will verymuch contribute to the improvement and diversion of the town: but asevery man is most concerned for himself, I, who am of a saturnine andmelancholy complexion, cannot but murmur, that there is not an equalinvitation to write tragedies, having by me, in my book of commonplaces, enough to enable me to finish a very sad one by the 5th of next month. Ihave the farewell of a general, with a truncheon in his hand, dying forlove, in six lines. I have the principles of a politician (who does allthe mischief in the play) together with his declaration on the vanity ofambition in his last moments, expressed in a page and a half. I have allmy oaths ready, and my similes want nothing but application. I won'tpretend to give you an account of the plot, it being the same designupon which all tragedies have been writ for several years last past; andfrom the beginning of the first scene, the frequenters of the house mayknow, as well as the author, when the battle is to be fought, the ladyto yield, and the hero to proceed to his wedding and coronation. Besidesthese advantages which I have in readiness, I have an eminent tragedianvery much my friend, who shall come in, and go through the whole fiveacts, without troubling me for one sentence, whether he is to kill or bekilled, love or be loved, win battles or lose them, or whatever othertragical performance I shall please to assign him. 

From my own Apartment, May 30. 

I have this day received a letter subscribed "Fidelia, " that gives me anaccount of an enchantment under which a young lady suffers, and desiresmy help to exorcise her from the power of the sorcerer. Her lover is arake of sixty; the lady a virtuous woman of twenty-five: her relationsare to the last degree afflicted, and amazed at this irregular passion:their sorrow I know not how to remove, but can their astonishment; forthere is no spirit in woman half so prevalent as that of contradiction, which is the sole cause of her perseverance. Let the whole family godressed in a body, and call the bride to-morrow morning to her nuptials, and I'll undertake, the inconstant will forget her lover in the midst ofall his aches. But if this expedient does not succeed, I must be so justto the young lady's distinguishing sense, as to applaud her choice. Afine young woman, at last, is but what is due from fate to an honestfellow, who has suffered so unmercifully by the sex; and I think wecannot enough celebrate her heroic virtue, who (like the patriot thatended a pestilence by plunging himself into a gulf) gives herself up togorge that dragon which has devoured so many virgins before her. 

A letter directed to "Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. ; astrologer and physicianin ordinary to her Majesty's subjects of Great Britain, with respect, "is come to hand. 

[Footnote 258: See Nos. 1, 5, 35, 85. ]

[Footnote 259: The following advertisement appeared in Nos. 20 and 22:"Mr. Cave Underhill, the famous comedian in the reigns of Charles II. , King James II. , King William and Queen Mary, and her present MajestyQueen Anne; but now not able to perform so often as heretofore in theplayhouse, and having had losses to the value of near £2500, is to havethe tragedy of 'Hamlet' acted for his benefit, on Friday, the 3rd ofJune next, at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, in which he is to performhis original part, the Grave-maker. Tickets may be had at the MitreTavern in Fleet Street. " Colley Cibber says that Underhill wasparticularly admired in the character of the Grave-digger; and he adds:"Underhill was a correct and natural comedian; his particular excellencewas in characters that may be called still-life; I mean the stiff, theheavy, and the stupid; to these he gave the exactest and most expressivecolours, and in some of them looked as if it were not in the power ofhuman passions to alter a feature of him. A countenance of wood couldnot be more fixed than his, when the blockhead of a character requiredit; his face was full and long; from his crown to the end of his nosewas the shorter half of it, so that the disproportion of his lowerfeatures, when soberly composed, threw him into the most lumpish, mopingmortal, that ever made beholders merry; not but, at other times, hecould be wakened into spirit equally ridiculous. " Genest says thatUnderhill acted again as the Grave-digger on Feb. 23, 1710, at DruryLane. ]

[Footnote 260: "Grandfather" (folio). ]

No. 23. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, May 31_, to _Thursday, June 2_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, May 31. 

The generality of mankind are so very fond of this world, and of stayingin it, that a man cannot have eminent skill in any one art, but theywill, in spite of his teeth, make him a physician also, that being thescience the worldlings have most need of. I pretended, when I first setup, to astrology only; but I am told, I have deep skill also inmedicine. I am applied to now by a gentleman for my advice in behalf ofhis wife, who, upon the least matrimonial difficulty, is excessivelytroubled with fits, and can bear no manner of passion without fallinginto immediate convulsions. I must confess, it is a case I have knownbefore, and remember the party was recovered by certain words pronouncedin the midst of the fit by the learned doctor who performed the cure. These ails have usually their beginning from the affections of the mind:therefore you must have patience to let me give you an instance, wherebyyou may discern the cause of the distemper, and then proceed in the cureas follows:

A fine town lady was married to a gentleman of ancient descent in one ofthe counties of Great Britain, who had good humour to a weakness, andwas that sort of person, of whom it is usually said, he is no man'senemy but his own: one who had too much tenderness of soul to have anyauthority with his wife; and she too little sense to give him authorityfor that reason. His kind wife observed this temper in him, and madeproper use of it. But knowing it was below a gentlewoman to wrangle, sheresolved upon an expedient to save decorum, and wear her dear to herpoint at the same time. She therefore took upon her to govern him, byfalling into fits whenever she was repulsed in a request, orcontradicted in a discourse. It was a fish-day, when in the midst of herhusband's good humour at table, she bethought herself to try herproject. She made signs that she had swallowed a bone. The man grew paleas ashes, and ran to her assistance, calling for drink. "No, my dear, "said she, recovering, "it is down; don't be frightened. " This accidentbetrayed his softness enough. The next day she complained, a lady'schariot, whose husband had not half his estate, had a crane-neck, andhung with twice the air that hers did. He answered, "Madam, you know myincome; you know I have lost two coach-horses this spring. "--Down shefell. --"Hartshorn! Betty, Susan, Alice, throw water in her face. " Withmuch care and pains she was at last brought to herself, and the vehiclein which she visited was amended in the nicest manner, to preventrelapses; but they frequently happened during that husband's whole life, which he had the good fortune to end in few years after. Thedisconsolate soon pitched upon a very agreeable successor, whom she veryprudently designed to govern by the same method. This man knew herlittle arts, and resolved to break through all tenderness, and beabsolute master, as soon as occasion offered. One day it happened, thata discourse arose about furniture: he was very glad of the occasion, andfell into an invective against china, [261] protesting, he would neverlet five pounds more of his money be laid out that way as long as hebreathed. She immediately fainted--he starts up as amazed, and calls forhelp--the maids ran to the closet--he chafes her face, bends herforwards, and beats the palms of her hands: her convulsions increase, and down she tumbles on the floor, where she lies quite dead, in spiteof what the whole family, from the nursery to the kitchen, could do forher relief. 

While every servant was thus helping or lamenting their mistress, he, fixing his cheek to hers, seemed to be following her in a trance ofsorrow; but secretly whispers her, "My dear, this will never do: what iswithin my power and fortune, you may always command, but none of yourartifices: you are quite in other hands than those you passed thesepretty passions upon. " This made her almost in the condition shepretended; her convulsions now came thicker, nor was she to be helddown. The kind man doubles his care, helps the servants to throw waterin her face by full quarts; and when the sinking part of the fit cameagain, "Well, my dear, " said he, "I applaud your action; but I must takemy leave of you till you are more sincere with me. Farewell for ever:you shall always know where to hear of me, and want for nothing. " Withthat, he ordered the maids to keep plying her with hartshorn, while hewent for a physician: he was scarce at the stairhead when she followed;and pulling him into a closet, thanked him for her cure; which was soabsolute, that she gave me this relation herself, to be communicated forthe benefit of all the voluntary invalids of her sex. 

From my own Apartment, May 31. 

The public is not so little my concern, though I am but a student, asthat I should not interest myself in the present great things inagitation. I am still of opinion, the French king will sign thepreliminaries. With that view, I have sent him by my familiar thefollowing epistle, and admonished him, on pain of what I shall say ofhim to future generations, to act with sincerity on this occasion. 

#"London, May 31. #

#"Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , of Great Britain, to Lewis XIV. Of France. #

"The surprising news which arrived this day, of your Majesty's havingrefused to sign the treaty your Ministers have in a manner sued for, iswhat gives ground to this application to your Majesty, from one whosename, perhaps, is too obscure to have ever reached your territories; butone who, with all the European world, is affected with yourdeterminations. Therefore, as it is mine and the common cause ofmankind, I presume to expostulate with you on this occasion. It will, Idoubt not, appear to the vulgar extravagant, that the actions of amighty prince should be balanced by the censure of a private man, whoseapprobation or dislike are equally contemptible in their eyes, when theyregard the thrones of sovereigns. But your Majesty has shown, throughthe whole course of your reign, too great a value for liberal arts to beinsensible, that true fame lies only in the hands of learned men, bywhom it is to be transmitted to futurity, with marks of honour orreproach to the end of time. The date of human life is too short torecompense the cares which attend the most private condition: thereforeit is, that our souls are made as it were too big for it, and extendthemselves in the prospect of a longer existence, in a good fame andmemory of worthy actions after our decease. The whole race of men havethis passion in some degree implanted in their bosoms, which is thestrongest and noblest incitation to honest attempts: but the base use ofthe arts of peace, eloquence, poetry, and all the parts of learning, have been possessed by souls so unworthy those faculties, that the namesand appellations of things have been confounded by the labours andwritings of prostituted men, who have stamped a reputation upon suchactions as are in themselves the objects of contempt and disgrace. Thisis that which has misled your Majesty in the conduct of your reign, andmade that life, which might have been the most imitable, the most to beavoided. To this it is, that the great and excellent qualities of whichyour Majesty is master, are lost in their application; and your Majestyhas been carrying on for many years the most cruel tyranny, with all thenoble methods which are used to support a just reign. Thus it is, thatit avails nothing that you are a bountiful master; that you are sogenerous as to reward even the unsuccessful with honour and riches; thatno laudable action passes unrewarded in your kingdoms; that you havesearched all nations for obscure merit; in a word, that you are in yourprivate character endowed with every princely quality, when all this issubjected to unjust and ill-taught ambition, which to the injury of theworld, is gilded by those endowments. However, if your Majesty willcondescend to look into your own soul, and consider all its facultiesand weaknesses with impartiality; if you will but be convinced, thatlife is supported in you by the ordinary methods of food, rest, andsleep; you would think it impossible that you could ever be so muchimposed on, as to have been wrought into a belief, that so manythousands of the same make with yourself, were formed by Providence forno other end, but by the hazard of their very being to extend theconquests and glory of an individual of their own species. A very littlereflection will convince your Majesty, that such cannot be the intent ofthe Creator; and if not, what horror must it give your Majesty to thinkof the vast devastations your ambition has made among your fellowcreatures? While the warmth of youth, the flattery of crowds, and acontinual series of success and triumph, indulged your Majesty in thisallusion of mind, it was less to be wondered at, that you proceeded inthis mistaken pursuit of grandeur; but when age, disappointments, publiccalamities, personal distempers, and the reverse of all that makes menforget their true being, are fallen upon you: heavens! is it possibleyou can live without remorse? Can the wretched man be a tyrant? Cangrief study torments? Can sorrow be cruel?--

"Your Majesty will observe, I do not bring against you a railingaccusation; but as you are a strict professor of religion, I beseechyour Majesty to stop the effusion of blood, by receiving the opportunitywhich presents itself, for the preservation of your distressed people. Be no longer so infatuated, as to hope for renown from murder andviolence: but consider, that the great day will come, in which thisworld and all its glory shall change in a moment: when nature shallsicken, and the earth and sea give up the bodies committed to them, toappear before the last tribunal. Will it then, O king! be an answer forthe lives of millions who have fallen by the sword, 'They perished formy glory'? That day will come on, and one like it is immediatelyapproaching: injured nations advance towards thy habitation: vengeancehas begun its march, which is to be diverted only by the penitence ofthe oppressor. Awake, O monarch, from thy lethargy! Disdain the abusesthou hast received: pull down the statue which calls thee immortal: betruly great: tear thy purple, and put on sackcloth. 

"I am, "Thy generous Enemy, "ISAAC BICKERSTAFF. "

St. James's Coffee-house, June 1. 

Advices from Brussels of the 6th instant, N. S. , say, his Highness PrinceEugene had received a letter from Monsieur Torcy, wherein that Minister, after many expressions of great respect, acquaints him, that his masterhad absolutely refused to sign the preliminaries to the treaty which hehad, in his Majesty's behalf, consented to at the Hague. Upon thereceipt of this intelligence, the face of things at that place wereimmediately altered, and the necessary orders were transmitted to thetroops (which lay most remote from thence) to move towards the place ofrendezvous with all expedition. The enemy seem also to prepare for thefield, and have at present drawn together twenty-five thousand men inthe plains of Lenz. Marshal Villars is at the head of those troops; andhas given the generals under his command all possible assurances, thathe will turn the fate of the war to the advantage of his master. 

They write from the Hague of the 7th, that Monsieur Rouillé had receivedorders from the Court of France, to signify to the States-General andthe Ministers of the High Allies, that the king could not consent to thepreliminaries of a treaty of peace, as it was offered to him by MonsieurTorcy. The great difficulty is the business of Spain, on whichparticular his Ministers seemed only to say, during the treaty, that itwas not so immediately under their master's direction, as that he couldanswer for its being relinquished by the Duke of Anjou: but now hepositively answers, that he cannot comply with what his Minister haspromised in his behalf, even in such points as are wholly in himself toact in or not. This has had no other effect, than to give the Alliancefresh arguments for being diffident of engagements entered into byFrance. The Pensioner made a report of all which this Minister haddeclared to the Deputies of the States-General, and all things turntowards a vigorous war. The Duke of Marlborough designed to leave theHague within two days, in order to put himself at the head of the army, which is to assemble on the 17th instant between the Scheldt and theLis. A fleet of eighty sail, laden with corn from the Baltic, is arrivedin the Texel. The States have sent circular letters to all theprovinces, to notify this change of affairs, and animate their subjectsto new resolutions in defence of their country. 

[Footnote 261: Addison ridiculed the prevalent craze for collectingchina in No. 10 of the _Lover_; and Swift wrote to Steele, "What do Iknow whether china is dear or not; I once took a fancy of resolving togo mad for it, but now it is off. "]

No. 24. [ADDISON. 

From _Thursday, June 2_, to _Saturday, June 4_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 2. 

In my paper of the 28th of the last month, [262] I mentioned severalcharacters which want explanation to the generality of readers: amongothers, I spoke of a Pretty Fellow; but I have received a kindadmonition in a letter, to take care that I do not omit to show alsowhat is meant by a Very Pretty Fellow, which is to be allowed as acharacter by itself, and a person exalted above the other by a peculiarsprightliness, as one who, by a distinguishing vigour, outstrips hiscompanions, and has thereby deserved and obtained a particularappellation, or nickname of familiarity. Some have this distinction fromthe fair sex, who are so generous as to take into their protection thosewho are laughed at by the men, and place them for that reason in degreesof favour. The chief of this sort is Colonel Brunett, who is a man offashion, because he will be so; and practises a very jaunty way ofbehaviour, because he is too careless to know when he offends, and toosanguine to be mortified if he did know it. Thus the colonel has metwith a town ready to receive him, and cannot possibly see why he shouldnot make use of their favour, and set himself in the first degree ofconversation. Therefore he is very successfully loud among the wits, familiar among the ladies, and dissolute among the rakes. Thus he isadmitted in one place, because he is so in another; and every man treatsBrunett well, not out of his particular esteem for him, but in respectto the opinion of others. It is to me a solid pleasure to see the worldthus mistaken on the good-natured side; for it is ten to one but thecolonel mounts into a general officer, marries a fine lady, and ismaster of a good estate, before they come to explain upon him. Whatgives most delight to me in this observation, is, that all this arisesfrom pure nature, and the colonel can account for his success no morethan those by whom he succeeds. For these causes and considerations, Ipronounce him a true woman's man, and in the first degree, "a verypretty fellow. " The next to a man of this universal genius, is one whois peculiarly formed for the service of the ladies, and his meritchiefly is to be of no consequence. I am indeed a little in doubt, whether he ought not rather to be called a "very happy, " than a "verypretty" fellow? For he is admitted at all hours: all he says or does, which would offend in another, are passed over in him; and all actionsand speeches which please, doubly please if they come from him: no onewonders or takes notice when he is wrong; but all admire him when he isin the right. By the way it is fit to remark, that there are people ofbetter sense than these, who endeavour at this character; but they areout of nature; and though, with some industry, they get the charactersof fools, they cannot arrive to be "very, " seldom to be merely "prettyfellows. " But where nature has formed a person for this station amongstmen, he is gifted with a peculiar genius for success, and his veryerrors and absurdities contribute to it; this felicity attending him tohis life's end. For it being in a manner necessary that he should be ofno consequence, he is as well in old age as youth; and I know a man, whose son has been some years a pretty fellow, who is himself at thishour a "very" pretty fellow. One must move tenderly in this place, forwe are now in the ladies' lodgings, and speaking of such as aresupported by their influence and favour; against which there is not, neither ought there to be, any dispute or observation. But when we comeinto more free air, one may talk a little more at large. Give me leavethen to mention three, whom I do not doubt but we shall see makeconsiderable figures; and these are such as, for their Bacchanalianperformances, must be admitted into this order. They are three brotherslately landed from Holland: as yet, indeed, they have not made theirpublic entry, but lodge and converse at Wapping. They have meritedalready on the waterside particular titles: the first is calledHogshead; the second Culverin; and the third Musket. This fraternity ispreparing for our end of the town by their ability in the exercises ofBacchus, and measure their time and merit by liquid weight, and powerof drinking. Hogshead is a prettier fellow than Culverin by two quarts, and Culverin than Musket by a full pint. It is to be feared, Hogshead isso often too full, and Culverin overloaded, that Musket will be the onlylasting "very" pretty fellow of the three. [263] A third sort of thisdenomination are such as, by very daring adventures in love, havepurchased to themselves renown and new names; as, Joe Carry, for hisexcessive strength and vigour; Tom Drybones, for his generous loss ofyouth and health; and Cancrum, for his meritorious rottenness. Thesegreat and leading spirits are proposed to all such of our British youthas would arrive at perfection in these different kinds; and if theirparts and accomplishments were well imitated, it is not doubted but thatour nation would soon excel all others in wit and arts, as they alreadydo in arms. 

N. B. --The gentleman who stole Betty Pepin, [264] may own it, for he isallowed to be a "very" pretty fellow. 

#But we must proceed to the explanation of other terms in our writings. #

To know what a Toast is in the country, gives as much perplexity as sheherself does in town: and, indeed, the learned differ very much upon theoriginal of this word, and the acceptation of it among the moderns. However, it is by all agreed to have a joyous and cheerful import. Atoast in a cold morning, heightened by nutmeg, and sweetened with sugar, has for many ages been given to our rural dissenters of justice, beforethey entered upon causes, and has been of great and politic use to takeoff the severity of their sentences; but has indeed been remarkable forone ill effect, that it inclines those who use it immoderately, to speakLatin, to the admiration, rather than information, of an audience. Thisapplication of "a toast" makes it very obvious, that the word may, without a metaphor, be understood as an apt name for a thing whichraises us in the most sovereign degree. But many of the wits of the lastage will assert, that the word, in its present sense, was known amongthem in their youth, and had its rise from an accident at the town ofBath, in the reign of King Charles II. It happened, that on a public daya celebrated beauty of those times was in the Cross Bath, and one of thecrowd of her admirers took a glass of the water in which the fair onestood, and drank her health to the company. There was in the place a gayfellow, half fuddled, who offered to jump in, and swore, though he likednot the liquor, he would have the toast. He was opposed in hisresolution; yet this whim gave foundation to the present honour which isdone to the lady we mention in our liquors, who has ever since beencalled a "toast. " Though this institution had so trivial a beginning, itis now elevated into a formal order; and that happy virgin who isreceived and drank to at their meetings, has no more to do in this life, but to judge and accept of the first good offer. The manner of herinauguration is much like that of the choice of a Doge in Venice: it isperformed by balloting; and when she is so chosen, she reignsindisputably for that ensuing year; but must be elected anew to prolongher empire a moment beyond it. When she is regularly chosen, her name iswritten with a diamond on a drinking-glass. [265] The hieroglyphic of thediamond is to show her, that her value is imaginary; and that of theglass to acquaint her, that her condition is frail, and depends on thehand which holds her. This wise design admonishes her, neither tooverrate nor depreciate her charms; as well considering and applying, that it is perfectly according to the humour and taste of the company, whether the toast is eaten, or left as an offal. 

The foremost of the whole rank of toasts, and the most undisputed intheir present empire, are Mrs. Gatty and Mrs. Frontlet: the first, anagreeable; the second, an awful beauty. These ladies are perfectfriends, out of a knowledge that their perfections are too different tostand in competition. He that likes Gatty can have no relish for sosolemn a creature as Frontlet; and an admirer of Frontlet will callGatty a maypole-girl. Gatty for ever smiles upon you; and Frontletdisdains to see you smile. Gatty's love is a shining quick flame;Frontlet's a slow wasting fire. Gatty likes the man that diverts her;Frontlet him who adores her. Gatty always improves the soil in which shetravels; Frontlet lays waste the country. Gatty does not only smile, butlaughs at her lover; Frontlet not only looks serious, but frowns at him. All the men of wit (and coxcombs their followers) are professed servantsof Gatty: the politicians and pretenders give solemn worship toFrontlet. Their reign will be best judged of by its duration. Frontletwill never be chosen more; and Gatty is a toast for life. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 3. 

Letters from Hamburg of the 7th instant, N. S. , inform us, that no art orcost is omitted to make the stay of his Danish Majesty at Dresdenagreeable; but there are various speculations upon the interview betweenKing Augustus and that prince, many putting politic constructions uponhis Danish Majesty's arrival, at a time when his troops are marching outof Hungary, with orders to pass through Saxony, where it is given out, that they are to be recruited. It is said also, that several Polishsenators have invited King Augustus to return into Poland. His Majestyof Sweden, according to the same advices, has passed the Dnieper withoutany opposition from the Muscovites, and advances with all possibleexpedition towards Voldinia, where he proposes to join King Stanislausand General Cressau. 

We hear from Berne of the 1st instant, N. S. , that there is not aprovince in France, from whence the Court is not apprehensive ofreceiving accounts of public emotions, occasioned by the want of corn. The General Diet of the thirteen cantons is assembled at Baden, but havenot yet entered upon business, so that the affair of Tockenburg is yetat a stand. 

Letters from the Hague, dated the 11th instant, N. S. , advise thatMonsieur Rouillé having acquainted the Ministers of the Allies, that hismaster had refused to ratify the preliminaries of a treaty adjusted withMonsieur Torcy, set out for Paris on Sunday morning. The same day theforeign Ministers met a committee of the States-General, where Monsieurvan Hessen opened the business upon which they were assembled, and in avery warm discourse laid before them the conduct of France in the latenegotiations, representing the abject manner in which she had laid openher own distresses, which reduced her to a compliance with the demandsof all the Allies, and the mean manner in receding from those points towhich her Minister had consented. The respective Ministers of eachpotentate of the Alliance severally expressed their resentment of thefaithless behaviour of the French, and gave each other mutual assurancesof the constancy and resolution of their principles to proceed with theutmost vigour against the common enemy. His Grace the Duke ofMarlborough set out from the Hague on the 9th, in the afternoon, and laythat night at Rotterdam, from whence at four the next morning heproceeded towards Antwerp, with design to reach Ghent as on this day. All the troops in the Low Countries are in motion towards the generalrendezvous between the Scheldt and Lis, and the whole army will beformed on the 12th instant; and it is said that on the 14th they willadvance towards the enemy's country. In the meantime the Marshal deVillars has assembled the French army between Lens, la Bassée, andDouay. 

Yesterday morning Sir John Norris[266] with the squadron under hiscommand, sailed from the Downs for Holland. 

From my own Apartment, June 3. 

I have the honour of the following letter from a gentleman whom Ireceive into my family, and order the heralds at arms to enroll himaccordingly. 

"MR. BICKERSTAFF, "Though you have excluded me the honour of your family, yet I haveventured to correspond with the same great persons as yourself, and havewrote this post to the King of France; though I'm in a manner unknownin his country, and have not been seen there these many months. 

#"'To Lewis le Grand. #

 "'Though in your country I'm unknown, Yet, sir, I must advise you; Of late so poor and mean you're grown, That all the world despise you. 

 Here vermin eat your majesty, There meagre subjects stand unfed; What surer signs of poverty, Than many lice, and little bread?

 Then, sir, the present minute choose, Our armies are advanced; Those terms you at the Hague refuse, At Paris won't be granted. 

 Consider this, and Dunkirk raze, And Anna's title own; Send one Pretender out to graze, And call the other home. '

"Your humble Servant, "BREAD, THE STAFF OF LIFE. "

[Footnote 262: No. 21. ]

[Footnote 263: It would seem from the passage in the _Examiner_ (vol. Iii. No. 48), that three men of distinction at that time, probablynoblemen, were supposed to be denoted under the names of Hogshead, Culverin, and Musket, from Wapping; or, as they are named by the_Examiner_, "Tun, Gun, and Pistol, from Wapping. " They are therementioned among others, said to have been, "with at least fifty more, sufferers of figure under this author's satire, in the days of hismirth, " &c. In the _Guardian_ (No. 53) Steele says, "Tun, Gun, andPistol from Wapping, laughed at the representation which was made ofthem, and were observed to be more regular in their conductafterwards. "]

[Footnote 264: The kept mistress of a knight of the shire nearBrentford, who squandered his estate on women, and in contestedelections. He has long since gone into the land of oblivion. See No. 51. --(Nichols. )]

[Footnote 265: Several such verses, inscribed on the glasses of the KitCat Club, are given in Nichols' "Select Collection of Poems, " v. 168-178. ]

[Footnote 266: Admiral Sir John Norris (died 1749) was sent in June1709, with a small squadron, to stop the French supply of corn from theBaltic. ]

No. 25. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, June 4_, to _Tuesday, June 7_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 6. 

A letter from a young lady, written in the most passionate terms(wherein she laments the misfortune of a gentleman, her lover, who waslately wounded in a duel), has turned my thoughts to that subject, andinclined me to examine into the causes which precipitate men into sofatal a folly. [267] And as it has been proposed to treat of subjects ofgallantry in the article from hence, and no one point of nature is moreproper to be considered by the company who frequent this place, thanthat of duels, it is worth our consideration to examine into thischimerical groundless humour, and to lay every other thought aside, tillwe have stripped it of all its false pretences to credit and reputationamongst men. But I must confess, when I consider what I am going about, and run over in my imagination all the endless crowd of men of honourwho will be offended at such a discourse, I am undertaking, methinks, awork worthy an invulnerable hero in romance, rather than a privategentleman with a single rapier; but as I am pretty well acquainted bygreat opportunities with the nature of man, and know of a truth, thatall men fight against their will, the danger vanishes, and resolutionrises upon this subject. For this reason I shall talk very freely on acustom which all men wish exploded, though no man has courage enough toresist it. But there is one unintelligible word which I fear willextremely perplex my dissertation, and I confess to you I find veryhard to explain, which is, the term "satisfaction. " An honest countrygentleman had the misfortune to fall into company with two or threemodern men of honour, where he happened to be very ill-treated; and oneof the company being conscious of his offence, sends a note to him inthe morning, and tells him, he was ready to give him satisfaction. "Thisis fine doing, " says the plain fellow: "last night he sent me awaycursedly out of humour, and this morning he fancies it would be asatisfaction to be run through the body. " As the matter at presentstands, it is not to do handsome actions denominates a man of honour; itis enough if he dares to defend ill ones. Thus you often see a commonsharper in competition with a gentleman of the first rank; though allmankind is convinced, that a fighting gamester is only a pickpocket withthe courage of a highwayman. One cannot with any patience reflect on theunaccountable jumble of persons and things in this town and nation, which occasions very frequently, that a brave man falls by a hand belowthat of the common hangman, and yet his executioner escapes the clutchesof the hangman for doing it. I shall therefore hereafter consider, howthe bravest men in other ages and nations have behaved themselves uponsuch incidents as we decide by combat; and show, from their practice, that this resentment neither has its foundation from true reason, norsolid fame; but is an imposture, [268] made up of cowardice, falsehood, and want of understanding. For this work, a good history of quarrelswould be very edifying to the public, and I apply myself to the town forparticulars and circumstances within their knowledge, which may serve toembellish the dissertation with proper cuts. Most of the quarrels I haveever known, have proceeded from some valiant coxcomb's persisting inthe wrong, to defend some prevailing folly, and preserve himself fromthe ingenuity of owning a mistake. [269]

By this means it is called, "giving a man satisfaction, " to urge youroffence against him with your sword; which puts me in mind of Peter'sorder to the keeper, in the "Tale of a Tub": "If you neglect to do allthis, damn you and your generation for ever; and so we bid you heartilyfarewell. "[270] If the contradiction in the very terms of one of ourchallenges were as well explained, and turned into plain English, wouldit not run after this manner?

"SIR, "Your extraordinary behaviour last night, and the liberty you werepleased to take with me, makes me this morning give you this, to tellyou, because you are an ill-bred puppy, I will meet you in Hyde Park anhour hence; and because you want both breeding and humanity, I desireyou would come with a pistol in your hand, on horseback, and endeavourto shoot me through the head; to teach you more manners. If you fail ofdoing me this pleasure, I shall say, you are a rascal on every post intown: and so, sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgivewhat you have done already. Pray sir, do not fail of getting everythingready, and you will infinitely oblige, "Sir, "Your most obedient, "humble Servant, &c. "

From my own Apartment, June 6. 

Among the many employments I am necessarily put upon by my friends, thatof giving advice is the most unwelcome to me; and indeed, I am forced touse a little art in the matter; for some people will ask counsel of you, when they have already acted what they tell you is still underdeliberation. I had almost lost a very good friend the other day, whocame to know how I liked his design to marry such a lady. I answered, "By no means; and I must be positive against it, for very solid reasons, which are not proper to communicate. " "Not proper to communicate!" saidhe with a grave air, "I will know the bottom of this. " I saw him moved, and knew from thence he was already determined; therefore evaded it bysaying, "To tell you the truth, dear Frank, of all women living, I wouldhave her myself. " "Isaac, " said he, "thou art too late, for we have beenboth one these two months. " I learned this caution by a gentleman'sconsulting me formerly about his son. He railed at his damnedextravagance, and told me, in a very little time, he would beggar him bythe exorbitant bills which came from Oxford every quarter. "Make therogue bite upon the bridle, "[271] said I, "pay none of his bills, itwill but encourage him to further trespasses. " He looked plaguy sour atme. His son soon after sent up a paper of verses, forsooth, in print, onthe last public occasion; upon which, he is convinced the boy has parts, and a lad of spirit is not to be too much cramped in his maintenance, lest he take ill courses. Neither father nor son can ever since endurethe sight of me. These sort of people ask opinions, only out of thefulness of their heart on the subject of their perplexity, and not froma desire of information. There is nothing so easy as to find out whichopinion the person in doubt has a mind to; therefore the sure way is totell him, that is certainly to be chosen. Then you are to be very clearand positive; leave no handle for scruple. "Bless me! sir, there is noroom for a question. " This rivets you into his heart; for you at onceapplaud his wisdom, and gratify his inclination. However, I had too muchbowels to be insincere to a man who came yesterday to know of me, withwhich of two eminent men in the City he should place his son? Theirnames are Paulo and Avaro. [272] This gave me much debate with myself, because not only the fortune of the youth, but his virtue also dependedupon this choice. The men are equally wealthy; but they differ in theuse and application of their riches, which you immediately see uponentering their doors. 

The habitation of Paulo has at once the air of a nobleman and amerchant. You see the servants act with affection to their master, andsatisfaction in themselves: the master meets you with an opencountenance, full of benevolence and integrity: your business isdespatched with that confidence and welcome which always accompanieshonest minds: his table is the image of plenty and generosity, supportedby justice and frugality. After we had dined here, our affair was tovisit Avaro: out comes an awkward fellow with a careful countenance;"Sir, would you speak with my master? May I crave your name?" After thefirst preambles, he leads us into a noble solitude, a great house thatseemed uninhabited; but from the end of the spacious hall moves towardsus Avaro, with a suspicious aspect, as if he believed us thieves; and asfor my part, I approached him as if I knew him a cut-purse. We fellinto discourse of his noble dwelling, and the great estate all the worldknew he had to enjoy in it: and I, to plague him, fell a commendingPaulo's way of living. "Paulo, " answered Avaro, "is a very good man; butwe who have smaller estates, must cut our coat according to our cloth. ""Nay, " says I, "every man knows his own circumstance best; you are inthe right, if you haven't wherewithal. " He looked very sour (for it is, you must know, the utmost vanity of a mean-spirited rich man to becontradicted, when he calls himself poor). But I was resolved to vexhim, by consenting to all he said; the main design of which was, that hewould have us find out, he was one of the wealthiest men in London, andlived like a beggar. We left him, and took a turn on the 'Change. Myfriend was ravished with Avaro. "This, " said he, "is certainly a sureman. " I contradicted him with much warmth, and summed up their differentcharacters as well as I could. "This Paulo, " said I, "grows wealthy bybeing a common good; Avaro, by being a general evil: Paulo has the art, Avaro the craft of trade. When Paulo gains, all men he deals with arethe better: whenever Avaro profits, another certainly loses. In a word, Paulo is a citizen, and Avaro a cit. " I convinced my friend, and carriedthe young gentleman the next day to Paulo, where he will learn the wayboth to gain, and enjoy a good fortune. And though I cannot say, I have, by keeping him from Avaro, saved him from the gallows, I have preventedhis deserving it every day he lives: for with Paulo he will be an honestman, without being so for fear of the law; as with Avaro, he would havebeen a villain within the protection of it. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 6. 

We hear from Vienna of the 1st instant, that Baron Imoff, who attendedher Catholic Majesty with the character of Envoy from the Duke ofWolfembuttel, was returned thither. That Minister brought an account, that Major-general Stanhope, with the troops which embarked at Naples, was returned to Barcelona. We hear from Berlin, by advices of the 8thinstant, that his Prussian Majesty had received intelligence from hisMinister at Dresden, that the King of Denmark desired to meet hisMajesty at Magdeburg. The King of Prussia has sent answer, that hispresent indisposition will not admit of so great a journey; but has sentthe king a very pressing invitation to come to Berlin or Potsdam. Theseadvices say, that the Minister of the King of Sweden has produced aletter from his master to the King of Poland, dated from Batitzau the30th of March, O. S. , wherein he acquaints him, that he has beensuccessful against the Muscovites in all the occasions which havehappened since his march into their country. Great numbers have revoltedto the Swedes since General Mazeppa went over to that side; and as manyas have done so, have taken solemn oaths to adhere to the interests ofhis Swedish Majesty. 

Advices from the Hague of the 14th instant, N. S. , say, that all thingstended to a vigorous and active campaign; the Allies having strongresentments against the late behaviour of the Court of France; and theFrench using all possible endeavours to animate their men to defendtheir country against a victorious and exasperated enemy. MonsieurRouillé had passed through Brussels without visiting either the Duke ofMarlborough or Prince Eugene, who were both there at that time. TheStates have met, and publicly declared their satisfaction in theconduct of their deputies during the whole treaty. Letters from Francesay, that the Court is resolved to put all to the issue of the ensuingcampaign. In the meantime, they have ordered the preliminary treaty tobe published, with observation upon each article, in order to quiet theminds of the people, and persuade them, that it has not been in thepower of the king to procure a peace, but to the diminution of hisMajesty's glory, and the hazard of his dominions. His Grace the Duke ofMarlborough and Prince Eugene arrived at Ghent on Wednesday last, where, at an assembly of all the general officers, it was thought proper, byreason of the great rains which have lately fallen, to defer forming acamp, or bringing the troops together; but as soon as the weather wouldpermit, to march upon the enemy with all expedition. [273]

[Footnote 267: For Steele's other papers on duelling, see Nos. 26, 28, 29, 31, 38, 39. ]

[Footnote 268: Something imposed upon us. ]

[Footnote 269: "While this barbarous custom of duelling is tolerated, weshall never be rid of coxcombs, who will defend their understandings bythe sword, and force us to bear nonsense on pain of death. "--(Steele, _Theatre_, No. 26. )]

[Footnote 270: Swift's "Tale of a Tub, " sect. 4. ]

[Footnote 271: _I. E. _, hold him in. ]

[Footnote 272: Said to be Bateman and Heathcote, both eminentcitizens--(_Gentleman's Magazine_, lx. 679. )]

[Footnote 273: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received a letter, dated June 6, with the just exceptions against the pretence of persons thereinmentioned, to the name of Pretty Fellows, which shall be taken notice ofaccordingly: as likewise, the letter from Anthony Longtail ofCanterbury, concerning the death of Thomas à Becket" (folio). See Nos. 24, 26. ]

No. 26. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, June 7_, to _Thursday, June 9_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, June 8. 

I have read the following letter with delight and approbation, and Ihereby order Mr. Kidney at St. James's, and Sir Thomas at White's[274](who are my clerks for enrolling all men in their distant classes, before they presume to drink tea or chocolate in those places), to takecare, that the persons within the descriptions in the letter beadmitted, and excluded according to my friend's remonstrance. [275]

"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. ; at Mr. Morphew's near Stationers' Hall. _

"_June 6_, 1709. 

"SIR, "Your paper of Saturday[276] has raised up in me a noble emulation, tobe recorded in the foremost rank of worthies therein mentioned; and ifany regard be had to merit or industry, I may hope to succeed in thepromotion, for I have omitted no toil or expense to be a proficient; andif my friends do not flatter, they assure me, I have not lost my timesince I came to town. To enumerate but a few particulars; there's hardlya coachman I meet with, but desires to be excused taking me, because hehas had me before. I have compounded two or three rapes; and let out tohire as many bastards to beggars. I never saw above the first act of aplay: and as to my courage, it is well known, I have more than once hadsufficient witnesses of my drawing my sword both in tavern andplayhouse. Dr. Wall[277] is my particular friend; and if it were anyservice to the public to compose the difference between Marten andSintilaer[278] the pearl-driller, I don't know a judge of moreexperience than myself: for in that I may say with the poet, "'_Quæ regio in villa nostri non plena laboris?_'[279]

"I omit other less particulars, the necessary consequences of greateractions. But my reason for troubling you at this present is, to put astop, if it may be, to an insinuating, increasing set of people, whosticking to the letter of your treatise, and not to the spirit of it, doassume the name of 'pretty fellows'; nay, and even get new names, as youvery well hint. Some of them I have heard calling to one another, as Ihave sat at White's and St. James's, by the names of Betty, Nelly, andso forth. You see them accost each other with effeminate airs: they havetheir signs and tokens like freemasons: they rail at women-kind; receivevisits on their beds in gowns, and do a thousand other unintelligibleprettinesses that I cannot tell what to make of. I therefore heartilydesire you would exclude all this sort of animals. 

"There is another matter I am foreseeing an ill consequence from, butmay be timely prevented by prudence; which is, that for the lastfortnight, prodigious shoals of volunteers have gone over to bully theFrench, upon hearing the peace was just signing; and this is so true, that I can assure you, all engrossing work about the Temple is risenabove 3_s_. In the pound for want of hands. Now as it is possible somelittle alteration of affairs may have broken their measures, and thatthey will post back again, I am under the last apprehension, that thesewill, at their return, all set up for 'pretty fellows, ' and therebyconfound all merit and service, and impose on us some new alteration inour nightcap-wigs[280] and pockets, unless you can provide a particularclass for them. I cannot apply myself better than to you, and I am sureI speak the mind of a very great number as deserving as myself. "

The pretensions of this correspondent are worthy a particulardistinction: he cannot indeed be admitted as a "pretty, " but is, what wemore justly call, a "smart fellow. " Never to pay at the playhouse, is anact of frugality, that lets you into his character. And his expedient insending his children a-begging before they can go, are characteristicalinstances that he belongs to this class. I never saw the gentleman; butI know by his letter, he hangs his cane on his button;[281] and by somelines of it, he should wear red-heeled shoes;[282] which are essentialparts of the habit belonging to the order of "smart fellows. "

My familiar is returned with the following letter from the French king:

"Versailles, _June 13_, 1709. 

#"_Louis XIV. To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. _[283]#

"SIR, "I have your epistle, and must take the liberty to say, that there hasbeen a time, when there were generous spirits in Great Britain, whowould not have suffered my name to be treated with the familiarity youthink fit to use. I thought liberal men would not be such time-servers, as to fall upon a man because his friends are not in power. But havingsome concern for what you may transmit to posterity concerning me, I amwilling to keep terms with you, and make a request to you, which is, that you would give my service to the nineteenth century (if ever you oryours reach to them), and tell them, that I have settled all mattersbetween them and me by Monsieur Boileau. I should be glad to see youhere. "

It is very odd this prince should offer to invite me into his dominions, or believe I should accept the invitation. No, no, I remember too wellhow he served an ingenious gentleman, a friend of mine, [284] whom helocked up in the Bastille for no reason in the world, but because he wasa wit, and feared he might mention him with justice in some of hiswritings. His way is, that all men of sense are preferred, banished, orimprisoned. He has indeed a sort of justice in him, like that of thegamesters; if a stander-by sees one at play cheat, he has a right tocome in for snares, for knowing the mysteries of the game. This is avery wise and just maxim; and if I have not left at Mr. Morphew's, directed to me, bank bills for £200 on or before this day sevennight, Ishall tell how Tom Cash got his estate. I expect three hundred pounds ofMr. Soilett, for concealing all the money he has lent to himself, andhis landed friend bound with him, at thirty per cent. At hisscrivener's. Absolute princes make people pay what they please indeference to their power: I do not know why I should not do the same, out of fear or respect to my knowledge. I always preserve decorums andcivilities to the fair sex: therefore if a certain lady, who left hercoach at the New Exchange[285] door in the Strand, and whipped downDurham Yard into a boat with a young gentleman for Fox Hall;[286] I say, if she will send me word, that I may give the fan which she dropped, andI found, to my sister Jenny, there shall be no more said of it. I expecthush-money to be regularly sent for every folly or vice any one commitsin this whole town; and hope I may pretend to deserve it better than achamber-maid, or _valet-de-chambre_: they only whisper it to the littleset of their companions; but I can tell it to all men living, or who areto live. Therefore I desire all my readers to pay their fines, or mendtheir lives. 

White's Chocolate-house, June 8. 

My familiar being come from France, with an answer to my letter to Lewisof that kingdom, instead of going on in a discourse of what he had seenin that Court, he put on the immediate concern of a guardian, and fellto inquiring into my thoughts and adventures since his journey. As shortas his stay had been, I confessed I had had many occasions for hisassistance in my conduct; but communicated to him my thoughts of puttingall my force against the horrid and senseless custom of duels. "If itwere possible, " said he, "to laugh at things in themselves so deeplytragical as the impertinent profusion of human life, I think I coulddivert you with a figure I saw just after my death, when the philosopherthrew me, as I told you some days ago, into the pail of water. [287] Youare to know, that when men leave the body, there are receptacles forthem as soon as they depart, according to the manner in which they livedand died. At the very instant that I was killed, there came away with mea spirit which had lost its body in a duel. We were both examined. Me, the whole assembly looked at with kindness and pity, but at the sametime with an air of welcome, and consolation: they pronounced me veryhappy, who had died in innocence; and told me, a quite different placewas allotted to me, than that which was appointed for my companion;there being a great distance from the mansions of fools and innocents:'though at the same time, ' said one of the ghosts, there is a greataffinity between an idiot who has been so for long life, and a child whodeparts before maturity. But this gentleman who has arrived with you isa fool of his own making, is ignorant out of choice, and will fareaccordingly. ' The assembly began to flock about him, and one said tohim, 'Sir, I observed you came into the gate of persons murdered, and Idesire to know what brought you to your untimely end?' He said, he hadbeen a second. Socrates (who may be said to have been murdered by thecommonwealth of Athens) stood by, and began to draw near him, in order, after his manner, to lead him into a sense of his error by concessionsin his own discourse. 'Sir, ' said that divine and amicable spirit, 'whatwas the quarrel?' He answered, 'We shall know very suddenly, when theprincipal in the business comes, for he was desperately wounded before Ifell. ' 'Sir, ' said the sage, 'had you an estate?' 'Yes, sir, ' the newguest answered, 'I have left it in a very good condition; I made my willthe night before this occasion. ' 'Did you read it before you signed it?''Yes sure, sir, ' said the newcomer. Socrates replies, could a man thatwould not give his estate without reading the instrument, dispose of hislife without asking a question? That illustrious shade turned from him, and a crowd of impertinent goblins, who had been drolls and parasites intheir lifetime, and were knocked on the head for their sauciness, cameabout my fellow-traveller, and made themselves very merry with questionsabout the words 'carte' and 'terce' and other terms of fencers. But histhoughts began to settle into reflection upon the adventure which hadrobbed him of his late being; and with a wretched sigh, said he, 'Howterrible are conviction and guilt when they come too late forpenitence!'" Pacolet was going on in this strain, but he recovered fromit, and told me, it was too soon to give my discourse on this subject soserious a turn; you have chiefly to do with that part of mankind whichmust be led into reflection by degrees, and you must treat this customwith humour and raillery to get an audience, before you come topronounce sentence upon it. There is foundation enough for raising suchentertainments from the practice on this occasion. Don't you know, thatoften a man is called out of bed to follow implicitly a coxcomb (withwhom he would not keep company on any other occasion) to ruin and death?Then a good list of such as are qualified by the laws of theseuncourteous men of chivalry to enter into combat (who are often personsof honour without common honesty): these, I say, ranged and drawn up intheir proper order, would give an aversion to doing anything in commonwith such as men laugh at and contemn. But to go through this work, youmust not let your thoughts vary, or make excursions from your theme:consider at the same time, that the matter has been often treated by theablest and greatest writers; yet that must not discourage you; for theproperest person to handle it, is one who has roved into mixedconversations, and must have opportunities (which I shall give you) ofseeing these sort of men in their pleasures and gratifications; amongwhich, they pretend to reckon fighting. It was pleasantly enough said ofa bully in France, when duels first began to be punished: "The king hastaken away gaming, and stage-playing, and now fighting too; how does heexpect gentlemen shall divert themselves?"[288]

[Footnote 274: See Nos. 1, 10, 16. ]

[Footnote 275: This letter is probably by Anthony Henley; seeadvertisement at end of No. 25. At this time Henley was M. P. ForWeymouth, and a friend of the wits belonging to the Whig party. He diedin 1711. See Nos. 11, 193. ]

[Footnote 276: No. 21. ]

[Footnote 277: Wall and the others named were quack doctors. ]

[Footnote 278: Sintelaer, who lived in High Holborn, published in Feb. 1709, "The Scourge of Venus and Mercury. With an appendix in answer toMr. John Marten's reflections thereupon" (_Postman_, Feb. 24 to 26, 1709). ]

[Footnote 279: "Æneid, " i. 460. Steele alters Virgil's "terriss" to"villa. "]

[Footnote 280: A sort of periwig, with a short tie and small round head. See No. 30, end. In the _Spectator_ (No. 319), Dorinda describes ahumble servant of hers who "appeared to me in one of those wigs that Ithink you call a 'night-cap, ' which had altered him more effectuallythan before. He afterwards played a couple of black riding wigs upon me, with the same success. "]

[Footnote 281: The elaborate canes used by the beaux commonly had aribbon to enable them to be hung on the button of the waistcoat. Thus wefind among the advertisements for lost canes, "A cane with a silver headand a black ribbon in it, the top of it amber, part of the head to turnround, and in it a perspective glass. "]

[Footnote 282: Men of fashion wore very high-heeled shoes, and their redheels are often satirised by Steele and Addison (cf. _Spectator_, No. 311). In No. 16 of the _Spectator_ Addison said, "It is not my intentionto sink the dignity of this my paper with reflections upon red-heels ortopknots. "]

[Footnote 283: See Nos. 19, 23. ]

[Footnote 284: Probably Sir John Vanbrugh. ]

[Footnote 285: A bazaar on the south side of the Strand, between GeorgeCourt and Durham Street, and opposite Bedford Street. There were twolong and double galleries, one above the other, containing shops, withpretty attendants. The New Exchange was a favourite lounge, and isfrequently mentioned in the Restoration literature; it was pulled downin 1737. See _Spectator_, Nos. 96, 155, and Steele's "Lying Lover, " actii. Sc. 2, where Young Bookwit says, "My choice was so distracted amongthe pretty merchants and their dealers, that I knew not where to runfirst. " On the other hand, we find complaints that young fops hinderedbusiness by lolling on the counter an hour longer than was necessary, and annoyed the young women who served them with ingenious ribaldry. ]

[Footnote 286: Vauxhall, or Fox-hall, Gardens were formed about 1661, onthe Surrey side of the Thames, and were at first called the New SpringGardens, to distinguish them from the Old Spring Gardens at CharingCross. At the end of the seventeenth century Vauxhall was a favouriteplace for assignations, and Pepys was scandalised at scenes he therewitnessed. The gardens were reopened in 1732, after being closed, itwould seem, for some years, and they continued to be a place offashionable resort until the end of the reign of George III. ]

[Footnote 287: See No. 15. ]

[Footnote 288: "Whereas several gentlemen have desired this paper with ablank leaf to write business on, and for the convenience of the post;this is to give notice, that this day, and for the future, it may be hadof Mr. Morphew, near Stationers' Hall" (folio, advertisement). ]

No. 27. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, June 9_, to _Saturday, June 11, 1709_. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 9. 

Pacolet being gone a strolling among the men of the sword, in order tofind out the secret causes of the frequent disputes we meet with, andfurnish me with material for my treatise on duelling; I have room leftto go on in my information to my country readers, whereby they mayunderstand the bright people whose memoirs I have taken upon me towrite. But in my discourse of the 28th of the last month, [289] I omittedto mention the most agreeable of all bad characters; and that is, aRake. 

A Rake is a man always to be pitied; and if he lives, is one daycertainly reclaimed; for his faults proceed not from choice orinclination, but from strong passions and appetites, which are in youthtoo violent for the curb of reason, good sense, good manners, and goodnature: all which he must have by nature and education, before he can beallowed to be, or have been of this order. He is a poor unwieldy wretch, that commits faults out of the redundance of his good qualities. Hispity and compassion make him sometimes a bubble to all his fellows, letthem be never so much below him in understanding. His desires run awaywith him through the strength and force of a lively imagination, whichhurries him on to unlawful pleasures, before reason has power to come into his rescue. Thus, with all the good intentions in the world toamendment, this creature sins on against heaven, himself, his friends, and his country, who all call for a better use of his talents. There isnot a being under the sun so miserable as this: he goes on in a pursuithe himself disapproves, and has no enjoyment but what is followed byremorse; no relief from remorse, but the repetition of his crime. It ispossible I may talk of this person with too much indulgence; but I mustrepeat it, that I think this a character which is the most the object ofpity of any in the world. The man in the pangs of the stone, gout, orany acute distempers, is not in so deplorable a condition in the eye ofright sense, as he that errs and repents, and repents and errs on. Thefellow with broken limbs justly deserves your alms for his impotentcondition; but he that cannot use his own reason, is in a much worsestate; for you see him in miserable circumstances, with his remedy atthe same time in his own possession, if he would or could use it. Thisis the cause, that of all ill characters, the rake has the best quarterin the world; for when he is himself, and unruffled with intemperance, you see his natural faculties exert themselves, and attract an eye offavour towards his infirmities. But if we look round us here, how manydull rogues are there, that would fain be what this poor man hateshimself for? All the noise towards six in the evening, [290] is caused byhis mimics and imitators. How ought men of sense to be careful of theiractions, if it were merely from the indignation of feeling themselvesill drawn by such little pretenders? not to say, he that leads, isguilty of all the actions of his followers: and a rake has imitatorswhom you would never expect should prove so. Second-hand vice sure ofall is the most nauseous. There is hardly a folly more absurd, or whichseems less to be accounted for (though it is what we see every day) thanthat grave and honest natures give into this way, and at the same timehave good sense, if they thought fit to use it: but the fatality (underwhich most men labour) of desiring to be what they are not, makes themgo out of a method, in which they might be received with applause, andwould certainly excel, into one, wherein they will all their life havethe air of strangers to what they aim at. For this reason, I have notlamented the metamorphosis of any one I know so much as of Nobilis, whowas born with sweetness of temper, just apprehension, and everythingelse that might make him a man fit for his order. But instead of thepursuit of sober studies and applications, in which he would certainlybe capable of making a considerable figure in the noblest assembly ofmen in the world; I say, in spite of that good nature, which is hisproper bent, he will say ill-natured things aloud, put such as he was, and still should be, out of countenance, and drown all the natural goodin him, to receive an artificial ill character, in which he will neversucceed: for Nobilis is no rake. He may guzzle as much wine as hepleases, talk bawdy if he thinks fit; but he may as well drinkwater-gruel, and go twice a day to church, for it will never do. Ipronounce it again, Nobilis is no rake. To be of that order, he must bevicious against his will, and not so by study or application. All PrettyFellows are also excluded to a man, as well as all Inamaratos, orpersons of the epicene gender, who gaze at one another in the presenceof ladies. This class, of which I am giving you an account, is pretendedto also by men of strong abilities in drinking; though they are suchwhom the liquor, not the conversation, keeps together. But blockheadsmay roar, fight, and stab, and be never the nearer; their labour is alsolost; they want sense: they are no rakes. 

As a rake among men is the man who lives in the constant abuse of hisreason, so a coquette among women is one who lives in continualmisapplication of her beauty. The chief of all whom I have the honour tobe acquainted with, is pretty Mrs. Toss: she is ever in practice ofsomething which disfigures her, and takes from her charms; though allshe does, tends to a contrary effect. She has naturally a very agreeablevoice and utterance, which she has changed for the prettiest lispimaginable. She sees what she has a mind to see, at half a mile distance;but poring with her eyes half shut at every one she passes by, shebelieves much more becoming. The Cupid on her fan and she have their eyesfull on each other, all the time in which they are not both in motion. Whenever her eye is turned from that dear object, you may have a glance, and your bow, if she is in humour, returned as civilly as you make it;but that must not be in the presence of a man of greater quality: forMrs. Toss is so thoroughly well bred, that the chief person present hasall her regards. And she, who giggles at divine service, and laughs ather very mother, can compose herself at the approach of a man of a goodestate. 

Will's Coffee-house, June 9. 

A fine lady showed a gentleman of this company, for an eternal answer toall his addresses, a paper of verses, with which she is so captivated, that she professed, the author should be the happy man in spite of allother pretenders. It is ordinary for love to make men poetical, and ithad that effect on this enamoured man: but he was resolved to try hisvein upon some of her confidantes or retinue, before he ventured upon sohigh a theme as herself. To do otherwise than so, would be like makingan heroic poem a man's first attempt. Among the favourites to the fairone, he found her parrot not to be in the last degree: he saw Poll hadher ear, when his sighs were neglected. To write against him, had been afruitless labour; therefore he resolved to flatter him into hisinterests, in the following manner:

#"To a Lady on her Parrot. #

 _"When nymphs were coy, and love could not prevail, The gods disguised were seldom known to fail, Leda was chaste, but yet a feathered Jove Surprised the fair, and taught her how to love. There's no celestial but his heaven would quit, For any form which might to thee admit. See how the wanton bird, at every glance, Swells his glad plumes, and feels an amorous trance. The queen of beauty has forsook the dove, Henceforth the parrot be the bird of love. "_

It is indeed a very just proposition, to give that honour rather to theparrot than the other volatile. The parrot represents us in the state ofmaking love: the dove in the possession of the object beloved. Butinstead of turning the dove off, I fancy it would be better if thechaise of Venus had hereafter a parrot added (as we see sometimes athird horse to a coach) which might intimate, that to be a parrot, isthe only way to succeed; and to be a dove, to preserve your conquests. If the swain would go on successfully, he must imitate the bird hewrites upon. For he who would be loved by women, must never be silentbefore the favour, or open his lips after it. 

From my own Apartment, June 10. 

I have so many messages from young gentlemen who expect preferment anddistinction, that I am wholly at a loss in what manner to acquit myself. The writer of the following letter tells me in a postscript, he cannotgo out of town till I have taken some notice of him, and is very urgentto be somebody, in town before he leaves it, and returns to his commonsat the university. But take it from himself. 

#"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. , Monitor-General of Great Britain. _#

"Shire Lane, _June 8. _

I have been above six months from the university, of age these threemonths, and so long in town. I was recommended to one CharlesBubbleboy[291] near the Temple, who has supplied me with all thefurniture he says a gentleman ought to have. I desired a certificatethereof from him, which he said would require some time to consider of;and when I went yesterday morning for it, he tells me, upon dueconsideration, I still want some few odd things more, to the value ofthreescore or fourscore pounds, to make me complete. I have bespokethem; and the favour I beg of you is, to know, when I am equipped, inwhat part or class of men in this town you will place me. Pray send meword what I am, and you shall find me, "Sir, "Your most humble Servant, "JEFFRY NICKNACK. "

I am very willing to encourage young beginners; but am extremely in thedark how to dispose of this gentleman. I cannot see either his person orhabit in this letter; but I'll call at Charles', and know the shape ofhis snuff-box, by which I can settle his character. Though indeed, toknow his full capacity, I ought to be informed, whether he takes Spanishor musty. [292]

St. James's Coffee-house, June 10. 

Letters from the Low Countries of the 17th instant say, that the Duke ofMarlborough and the Prince of Savoy intended to leave Ghent on that day, and join the army, which lies between Pont d'Espiere and Courtray, theirheadquarters being at Helchin. The same day the Palatine foot wasexpected at Brussels. Lieutenant-General Dompre, with a body of eightthousand men, is posted at Alost, in order to cover Ghent and Brussels. The Marshal de Villars was still on the plains of Lens; and it is said, the Duke of Vendôme is appointed to command in conjunction with thatgeneral. Advices from Paris say, Monsieur Voisin is made Secretary ofState, upon Monsieur Chamillard's resignation of that employment. Thewant of money in that kingdom is so great, that the Court has thoughtfit to command all the plate of private families to be brought into theMint. They write from the Hague of the 18th, that the States of Hollandcontinue their session; and that they have approved the resolution ofthe States-General, to publish a second edict to prohibit the sale ofcorn to the enemy. Many eminent persons in that assembly have declared, that they are of opinion, that all commerce whatsoever with Franceshould be wholly forbidden: which point is under present deliberation;but it is feared it will meet with powerful opposition. 

[Footnote 289: No. 21. ]

[Footnote 290: People of fashion dined at about four o'clock in QueenAnne's time, and by six the men, who had often drunk a good deal ofwine, would be finding their way to the clubs and coffee-houses. ]

[Footnote 291: Charles Mather, a toyman in Fleet Street, next door toNandoe's Coffee-house, over against Chancery Lane. Swift wrote ("SidHamet's Rod, " 1710):

 "No hobby horse with gorgeous top, The dearest in Charles Mather's shop; Or glittering tinsel of Mayfair Could with the rod of Sid compare. "

See Nos. 113, 142, and _Spectator_, Nos. 328, 503 ("One of CharlesMather's fine tablets"), and 570 ("The famous Charles Mather was bred upunder him"). ]

[Footnote 292: Charles Lillie, the perfumer, tells us how snuff cameinto use. A great quantity of musty snuff was captured in the Spanishfleet taken at Vigo in 1702, and snuff with this special musty flavourbecame the fashion. In No. 138 of the _Spectator_, Steele humorouslyannounced that "the exercise of the snuff-box, according to the mostfashionable airs and motions, in opposition to the exercise of the fair, will be taught with the best plain or perfumed snuff at CharlesLillie's, perfumer, at the corner of Beaufort Buildings in the Strand. "]

No. 28. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, June 11_, to _Tuesday, June 14, 1709. _

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 13. 

I had suspended the business of duelling to a distant time, but that Iam called upon to declare myself on a point proposed in the followingletter. 

 "_June 9, at night. _

"Sir, "I desire the favour of you to decide this question, whether calling agentleman a 'smart fellow' is an affront or not? A youth entering acertain coffee-house, with his cane tied at his button, wearingred-heeled shoes, I thought of your description, [293] and could notforbear telling a friend of mine next to me, 'There enters a smartfellow. ' The gentleman hearing it, had immediately a mind to pick aquarrel with me, and desired satisfaction: at which I was more puzzledthan at the other, remembering what mention your familiar makes of thosethat had lost their lives on such occasions. The thing is referred toyour judgment, and I expect you to be my second, since you have been thecause of our quarrel. I am, "Sir, "Your Friend and humble Servant. "

I absolutely pronounce, that there is no occasion of offence given inthis expression; for a "smart fellow" is always an appellation ofpraise, and is a man of double capacity. The true cast or mould in whichyou may be sure to know him is, when his livelihood or education is inthe Civil List, and you see him express a vivacity or mettle above theway he is in by a little jerk in his motion, short trip in his steps, well-fancied lining of his coat, or any other indications which may begiven in a vigorous dress. Now, what possible insinuation can there be, that it is a cause of quarrel for a man to say, he allows a gentlemanreally to be, what he, his tailor, his hosier, and his milliner, haveconspired to make him? I confess, if this person who appeals to me hadsaid, he was _not_ a "smart fellow, " there had been cause forresentment; but if he stands to it that he is one, he leaves no mannerof ground for a misunderstanding. Indeed, it is a most lamentable thing, that there should be a dispute raised upon a man's saying another is, what he plainly takes pains to be thought. But this point cannot be sowell adjusted, as by inquiring what are the sentiments of wise nationsand communities of the use of the sword, and from thence conclude, whether it is honourable to draw it so frequently or not? An illustriouscommonwealth of Italy[294] has preserved itself for many ages, withoutletting one of their subjects handle this destructive instrument, alwaysleaving that work to such of mankind as understand the use of a wholeskin so little, as to make a profession of exposing it to cuts andscars. But what need we run to such foreign instances: our own ancientand well-governed cities are conspicuous examples to all mankind intheir regulation of military achievements. The chief citizens, like thenoble Italians, hire mercenaries to carry arms in their stead; and youshall have a fellow of a desperate fortune, for the gain of onehalf-crown, go through all the dangers of Tothill Fields, or theArtillery Ground, [295] clap his right jaw within two inches of thetouch-hole of a musket, fire it off, and huzza, with as little concernas he tears a pullet. Thus you see to what scorn of danger thesemercenaries arrive, out of a mere love of sordid gain: but methinks itshould take off the strong prepossession men have in favour of boldactions, when they see upon what low motives men aspire to them. Do butobserve the common practice in the government of those heroic bodies, our militia and lieutenancies, the most ancient corps of soldiers, perhaps, in the universe. I question whether there is one instance of ananimosity between any two of these illustrious sons of Mars since theirinstitution, which was decided by combat? I remember indeed to have readthe chronicle of an accident which had like to have occasioned bloodshedin the very field before all the general officers, though most of themwere justices of the peace: Captain Crabtree of Birching Lane, haberdasher, had drawn a bill upon Major-General Maggot, cheesemonger inThames Street. Crabtree draws this upon Mr. William Maggot and Company. A country lad received this bill, and not understanding the word"company, " used in drawing bills on men in partnership, carried it toMr. Jeffry Stick of Crooked Lane (lieutenant of the major-general'scompany) whom he had the day before seen march by the door in all thepomp of his commission. The lieutenant accepts it, for the honour of thecompany, since it had come to him. But repayment being asked from themajor-general, he absolutely refuses. Upon this, the lieutenant thinksof nothing less than to bring this to a rupture, and takes for hissecond, Tobias Armstrong of the Counter, [296] and sends him with achallenge in a script of parchment, wherein was written, "Stitch contraMaggot, " and all the fury vanished in a moment. The major-general givessatisfaction to the second, and all was well. Hence it is, that the boldspirits of our city are kept in such subjection to the civil power. Otherwise, where would our liberties soon be? If wealth and valour weresuffered to exert themselves with their utmost force: if such officersas are employed in the terrible bands above-mentioned, were to drawbills as well as swords: these dangerous captains, who could victual anarmy as well as lead it, would be too powerful for the State. But thepoint of honour justly gives way to that of gain; and by long and wiseregulation, the richest is the bravest man. I have known a captain riseto a colonel in two days by the fall of stocks; and a major, my goodfriend, near the Monument, ascended to that honour by the fall of theprice of spirits, and the rising of right Nantz. By this true sense ofhonour, that body of warriors are ever in good order and discipline, with their colours and coats all whole: as in other battalions (wheretheir principles of action are less solid) you see the men of servicelook like spectres, with long sides, and lank cheeks. In this army, youmay measure a man's services by his waist, and the most prominent bellyis certainly the man who has been most upon action. Besides all this, there is another excellent remark to be made in the discipline of thesetroops. It being of absolute necessity that the people of England shouldsee what they have for their money, and be eye-witnesses of theadvantages they gain by it, all battles which are fought abroad arerepresented here. But since one side must be beaten, and the otherconquer, which might create disputes, the eldest company is always tomake the other run, and the younger retreats, according to the last newsand best intelligence. I have myself seen Prince Eugene make Catinat flyfrom the back-side of Gray's Inn Lane to Hockley-in-the-Hole, [297] andnot give over the pursuit, till obliged to leave the Bear Garden on theright, to avoid being borne down by fencers, wild bulls and monsters, too terrible for the encounter of any heroes, but such whose lives aretheir livelihood. 

We have here seen, that wise nations do not admit of fighting, even inthe defence of their country, as a laudable action; and they livewithin the walls of our own city in great honour and reputation withoutit. It would be very necessary to understand, by what force of theclimate, food, education, or employment, one man's sense is brought todiffer so essentially from that of another; that one is ridiculous andcontemptible for forbearing a thing which makes for his safety; andanother applauded for consulting his ruin and destruction. 

It will therefore be necessary for us (to show our travelling) toexamine this subject fully, and tell you how it comes to pass, that aman of honour in Spain, though you offend him never so gallantly, stabsyou basely; in England, though you offend never so basely, challengesfairly: the former kills you out of revenge; the latter out of goodbreeding. But to probe the heart of a man in this particular to itsutmost thoughts and recesses, I must wait for the return of Pacolet, whois now attending a gentleman lately in a duel, and sometimes visits theperson by whose hand he received his wounds. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 13. 

Letters from Vienna of the 8th instant say, there has been a journal ofthe marches and actions of the King of Sweden, from the beginning ofJanuary to the 11th of April, N. S. , communicated by the SwedishMinisters to that Court. These advices inform, that his Swedish Majestyentered the territories of Muscovy in February last with the main bodyof his army, in order to oblige the enemy to a general engagement; butthat the Muscovites declining a battle, and a universal thaw havingrendered the rivers unpassable, the king returned into Ukrania. Thereare mentioned several rencounters between considerable detachments ofthe Swedish and Russian armies. Marshal Heister intended to take hisleave of the Court on the day after the date of these letters, and puthimself at the head of the army in Hungary. The malcontents hadattempted to send in a supply of provisions into Neuheusel; but theirdesign was disappointed by the Germans. 

Advices from Berlin of the 15th instant, N. S. , say, that his DanishMajesty having received an invitation from the King of Prussia to aninterview, designed to come to Potsdam within few days; and that KingAugustus resolved to accompany him thither. To avoid all difficulties inceremony, the three kings, and all the company who shall have the honourto sit with them at table, are to draw lots, and take precedenceaccordingly. 

They write from Hamburg of the 18th instant, N. S. , that some particularletters from Dantzic speak of a late action between the Swedes andMuscovites near Jaroslaw; but that engagement being mentioned from noother place, there is not much credit given to this intelligence. 

We hear from Brussels, by letters, dated the 20th, that on the 14th inthe evening the Duke of Marlborough and Prince Eugene arrived atCourtray, with a design to proceed the day following to Lille, in theneighbourhood of which city the confederate army was to rendezvous thesame day. Advices from Paris inform us, that the Marshal de Bezons isappointed to command in Dauphiné; and that the Duke of Berwick is setout for Spain, with a design to follow the fortunes of the Duke ofAnjou, in case the French king should comply with the late demands ofthe Allies. 

The Court of France has sent a circular letter to all the governors ofthe provinces, to recommend to their consideration his Majesty's lateconduct in the affair of peace. It is thought fit in that epistle, tocondescend to a certain appeal to the people, whether it is consistentwith the dignity of the crown, or the French name, to submit to thepreliminaries demanded by the confederates? The letter dwells upon theunreasonableness of the Allies, in requiring, that his Majesty shouldassist in dethroning his grandson, and treats this particular inlanguage more suitable to it, as it is a topic of oratory, than a realcircumstance, on which the interests of nations, and reasons of State, which affect all Europe, are concerned. 

The close of this memorial seems to prepare the people to expect allevents, attributing the confidence of the enemy to the goodness of theirtroops; but acknowledging, that his sole dependence is upon theintervention of Providence. 

[Footnote 293: See No. 26. ]

[Footnote 294: Venice, where mercenaries were employed for fightingpurposes. ]

[Footnote 295: The City train-bands were often the subject of ridiculeby the wits. See "Harleian Misc. " i. 206, Cowper's "John Gilpin, " andNos. 38, 41. Tothill Fields, Westminster, and the Artillery Ground, Finsbury, were the usual exercising-grounds for the train-bands. ]

[Footnote 296: The Compter was a prison for the city of London, wheredebtors and others were confined. ]

[Footnote 297: Steele wrote at length in the _Spectator_ (No. 436) of atrial of skill in the noble art of self-defence at Hockley-in-the-Hole;and in No. 630 there is an allusion to the gladiators ofHockley-in-the-Hole. In the "Beggar's Opera, " Mrs. Peachum says: "Youshould to Hockley-in-the-Hole and to Marybone, child, to learn valour;there are the schools that have bred so many brave men. " As to the othersports at the Bear Garden, see No. 134, and Gay's "Trivia, " ii. 407-12:

 "When thro' the town, with slow and solemn air, Led by the nostril, walks the muzzled bear; Behind him moves, majestically dull, The pride of Hockley-hole, the surly bull; Learn hence the periods of the week to name: Mondays and Thursdays are the days of game. "

There were seats, at half a crown and upwards, for the quality; theneighbourhood of the Bear Garden was infested by thieves. The followingare specimens of the advertisements common about 1709: "At theBear-garden, in Hockley in the Hole. A trial of skill, to be performedbetween two profound masters of the noble science of defence, onWednesday next, the 13th of July, 1702, at two o'clock precisely. IGeorge Gray, born in the city of Norwich, who has fought in most partsof the West Indies, viz. , Jamaica, Barbadoes, and several other parts ofthe world, in all twenty-five times upon the stage, and was never yetworsted; and am now lately come to London, do invite James Harris tomeet, and exercise at the following weapons, back-sword, sword anddagger, sword and buckler, single falchon, and case of falchons. I JamesHarris, master of the said noble science of defence, who formerly rid inthe Horse-guards, and hath fought 110 prizes, and never left a stage toany man, will not fail (God willing) to meet this brave and boldinviter, at the time and place appointed, desiring sharp swords, andfrom him no favour. No person to be upon the stage, but the seconds. _Vivat Regina_. "

"At the Bear-garden in Hockley in the Hole, near Clerkenwell Green, 1710. This is to give notice to all gentlemen, gamesters, and others, that on this present Monday is a match to be fought by two dogs, onefrom Newgate-market, against one from Honey-lane market, at a bull, fora guinea to be spent, five let-goes out of hand, which goes fairest andfastest in, wins all. Likewise, a green bull to be baited, which wasnever baited before; and a bull to be turned loose with fireworks allover him. Also a mad ass to be baited. With a variety of bull-baitingand bear-baiting, and a dog to be drawn up with fireworks. To beginexactly at three of the clock. "]

No. 29. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, June 14_, to _Thursday, June 16, 1709. _

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 14. 

Having a very solid respect for human nature, however it is distortedfrom its natural make, by affectation, humour, custom, misfortune, orvice, I do apply myself to my friends to help me in raising argumentsfor preserving it in all its individuals, as long as it is permitted. Toone of my letters on this subject, I have received the followinganswer:[298]

"SIR, "In answer to your question, why men of sense, virtue, and experience, are seen still to comply with that ridiculous custom of duelling, I mustdesire you to reflect, that custom has dished up in ruffs the wisestheads of our ancestors, and put the best of the present age into hugefalbala periwigs. [299] Men of sense would not impose such encumbranceson themselves; but be glad they might show their faces decently inpublic upon easier terms. If then such men appear reasonably slaves tothe fashion, in what regards the figure of their persons, we ought notto wonder, that they are at least so in what seems to touch theirreputations. Besides, you can't be ignorant, that dress and chivalryhave been always encouraged by the ladies, as the two principal branchesof gallantry. It is to avoid being sneered at for his singularity, andfrom a desire to appear more agreeable to his mistress, that a wise, experienced, and polite man, complies with the dress commonly received, and is prevailed upon to violate his reason and principles, in hazardinghis life and estate by a tilt, as well as suffering his pleasures to beconstrained and soured by the constant apprehension of a quarrel. Thisis the more surprising, because men of the most delicate sense andprinciples have naturally in other cases a particular repugnance inaccommodating themselves to the maxims of the world: but one may easilydistinguish the man that is affected with beauty, and the reputation ofa tilt, from him who complies with both, merely as they are imposed uponhim by custom; for in the former you will remark an air of vanity andtriumph; whereas when the latter appears in a long Duvillier full ofpowder, or has decided a quarrel by the sword, you may perceive in hisface, that he appeals to custom for an excuse. I think it may not beimproper to inquire into the genealogy of this chimerical monster, called a 'duel', which I take to be an illegitimate species of theancient knight-errantry. By the laws of this whim, your heroic person, or man of gallantry, was indispensably obliged to starve in armour acertain number of years in the chase of monsters, encounter them at theperil of his life, and suffer great hardships, in order to gain theaffection of the fair lady, and qualify himself for assuming the_belair_, that is, of a pretty fellow, or man of honour according to thefashion: but since the publishing of 'Don Quixote' and extinction of therace of dragons, which Suetonius says happened in that of Wantley, [300]the gallant and heroic spirits of these latter times have been under thenecessity of creating new chimerical monsters to entertain themselveswith, by way of single combats, as the only proofs they are able to givetheir own sex, and the ladies, that they are in all points men of nicehonour. But to do justice to the ancient and real monsters, I mustobserve, that they never molested those who were not of a humour to huntfor them in the woods and deserts; whereas on the contrary, our modernmonsters are so familiarly admitted and entertained in all the Courtsand cities of Europe (except France) that one can scarce be in the mosthumanised society without risking one's life; the people of the bestsort, and the fine gentlemen of the age, being so fond of them, thatthey seldom appear in any public place without one. I have some furtherconsiderations upon this subject, which, as you encourage me, shall becommunicated to you, by, sir, a cousin but once removed from the bestfamily of the Staffs, namely, "Sir, "Your humble Servant, "Kinsman and Friend, "TIM SWITCH. "

It is certain, Mr. Switch has hit upon the true source of this evil; andthat it proceeds only from the force of custom that we contradictourselves in half the particulars and occurrences of life. But such atyranny in love, which the fair impose upon us, is a little too severe, that we must demonstrate our affection for them by no certain proof buthatred to one another, or come at them (only as one does to an estate)by survivorship. This way of application to gain a lady's heart, istaking her as we do towns and castles, by distressing the place, andletting none come near them without our pass. Were such a lover once towrite the truth of his heart, and let her know his whole thoughts, hewould appear indeed to have a passion for her; but it would hardly becalled love. The billet-doux would run to this purpose:

"MADAM, "I have so tender a regard for you and your interests, that I'll knockany man in the head whom I observe to be of my mind, and like you. Mr. Truman the other day looked at you in so languishing a manner, that I amresolved to run him through to-morrow morning: this, I think, hedeserves for his guilt in admiring you; than which I cannot have agreater reason for murdering him, except it be that you also approvehim. Whoever says he dies for you, I will make his words good, for Iwill kill him. I am, "Madam, "Your most obedient, "Most humble Servant. "

From my own Apartment, June 14. 

I am just come hither at ten at night, and have ever since six been inthe most celebrated, though most nauseous, company in town: the twoleaders of the society were a critic and a wit. These two gentlemen aregreat opponents upon all occasions, not discerning that they are thenearest each other in temper and talents of any two classes of men inthe world; for to profess judgment, and to profess wit, both arise fromthe same failure, which is want of judgment. The poverty of the criticthis way proceeds from the abuse of his faculty; that of the wit fromthe neglect of it. It is a particular observation I have always made, that of all mortals, a critic is the silliest; for by inuring himselfto examine all things, whether they are of consequence or not, be neverlooks upon anything but with a design of passing sentence upon it; bywhich means, he is never a companion, but always a censor. This makeshim earnest upon trifles; and dispute on the most indifferent occasionswith vehemence. If he offers to speak or write, that talent which shouldapprove the work of the other faculties, prevents their operation. Hecomes upon action in armour; but without weapons: he stands in safety;but can gain no glory. The wit on the other hand has been hurried solong away by imagination only, that judgment seems not to have ever beenone of his natural faculties. This gentleman takes himself to be as muchobliged to be merry, as the other to be grave. A thorough critic is asort of Puritan in the polite world. As an enthusiast in religionstumbles at the ordinary occurrences of life, if he cannot quotescripture examples on the occasion; so the critic is never safe in hisspeech or writing, without he has among the celebrated writers anauthority for the truth of his sentence. You will believe we had a verygood time with these brethren, who were so far out of the dress of theirnative country, and so lost to its dialect, that they were as muchstrangers to themselves, as to their relation to each other. They tookup the whole discourse; sometimes the critic grew passionate, and whenreprimanded by the wit for any trip or hesitation in his voice, he wouldanswer, Mr. Dryden makes such a character on such an occasion break offin the same manner; so that the stop was according to nature, and as aman in a passion should do. The wit, who is as far gone in letters ashimself, seems to be at a loss to answer such an apology; and concludesonly, that though his anger is justly vented, it wants fire in theutterance. If wit is to be measured by the circumstances of time andplace, there is no man has generally so little of that talent, as he whois a wit by profession. What he says, instead of arising from theoccasion, has an occasion invented to bring it in. Thus he is new for noother reason, but that he talks like nobody else; but has taken up amethod of his own, without commerce of dialogue with other people. Thelively Jasper Dactyle[301] is one of this character. He seems to havemade a vow to be witty to his life's end. When you meet him, "What doyou think, " says he, "I have been entertaining myself with?" Then outcomes a premeditated turn, to which it is to no purpose to answer; forhe goes on in the same strain of thought he designed without yourspeaking. Therefore I have a general answer to all he can say; as, "Surethere never was any creature had so much fire!" Spondee, who is acritic, is seldom out of this fine man's company. They have no manner ofaffection for each other, but keep together, like Novel and Oldfox in"The Plain Dealer, "[302] because they show each other. I know several ofsense who can be diverted with this couple; but I see no curiosity inthe thing, except it be, that Spondee is dull, and seems dull; butDactyle is heavy with a brisk face. It must be owned also, that Dactylehas almost vigour enough to be a coxcomb; but Spondee, by the lowness ofhis constitution, is only a blockhead. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 15. 

We have no particulars of moment since our last, except it be, that thecopy of the following original letter came by the way of Ostend. It issaid to have been found in the closet of Monsieur Chamillard, the lateSecretary of State of France, since his disgrace. It was signed by twobrothers of the famous Cavallier, [303] who led the Cevennois, and had apersonal interview with the king, as well as a capitulation to lay downhis arms, and leave the dominions of France. There are many other namesto it; among whom, is the chief of the family of the MarquisGuiscard. [304] It is not yet known, whether Monsieur Chamillard had anyreal design to favour the Protestant interest, or only thought to placehimself at the head of that people, to make himself considerable enoughto oppose his enemies at Court, and reinstate himself in power there. 

"SIR, "We have read your Majesty's[305] letter to the governors of yourprovinces, with instructions what sentiments to insinuate into the mindsof your people: but as you have always acted upon the maxim, that wewere made for you, and not you for us, we must take leave to assure yourMajesty, that we are exactly of the contrary opinion, and must desireyou to send for your grandson home, and acquaint him, that you now knowby experience, absolute power is only a vertigo in the brain of princes, which for a time may quicken their motion, and double in their diseasedsight the instances of power above them; but must end in their fall anddestruction. Your memorial speaks a good father of your family, but avery ill one of your people. Your Majesty is reduced to hear truth whenyou are obliged to speak it: there is no governing any but savages byany methods but their own consent, which you seem to acknowledge, inappealing to us for our opinion of your conduct in treating of peace. Had your people been always of your council, the King of France hadnever been reduced so low, as to acknowledge his arms were fallen intocontempt. But since it is thus, we must ask, 'How is any man of France, but they of the House of Bourbon, the better that Philip is King ofSpain?' We have outgrown that folly of placing our happiness in yourMajesty's being called, The Great; therefore as you and we are all alikebankrupts, [306] and undone, let us not deceive ourselves, but compoundwith our adversaries, and not talk like their equals. Your Majesty mustforgive us that we cannot wish you success, or lend you help; for if youlose one battle more, we may have a hand in the peace you make; anddoubt not but your Majesty's faith in treaties will require theratification of the states of your kingdoms. So we bid you heartilyfarewell, till we have the honour to meet you assembled in Parliament. This happy expectation makes us willing to wait the event of anothercampaign, from whence we hope to be raised from the misery of slaves, tothe privileges of subjects. We are, "Your Majesty's

"Truly faithful, and

"Loyal Subjects, &c. "

[Footnote 298: See Nos. 25, 26, 28. ]

[Footnote 299: The full-bottomed dress wigs. Another name was"Duvillier, " used below. ]

[Footnote 300: See Percy's "Reliques of Ancient English Poetry, " ed. Wheatley, iii. 279. "The Dragon of Wantley" is a satire on the oldballads of chivalry. ]

[Footnote 301: See Nos. 3, 63. ]

[Footnote 302: In the list of characters, Wycherley defines Novel as "apert railing coxcomb, and an admirer of novelties, " and Major Oldfox as"an old impertinent fop, given to scribbling. "]

[Footnote 303: James Cavallier was the celebrated leader of the FrenchProtestants in the Cevennes, when these warlike but enthusiasticmountaineers opposed the tyranny of Lewis XIV. And made a vigorous standagainst the whole power of France, which for a long time laboured invain to subdue them. It was in the heat of this gallant struggle topreserve themselves from religious slavery, that the first seeds of thatwild fanaticism were sown, which afterwards grew up to such an amazingextravagance, and distinguished them, by the name of French Prophets, among the most extraordinary enthusiasts that are to be found in thehistory of human folly. Cavallier, who found in his latter days anhospitable asylum in Ireland, published, in 1726, "Memoirs of the Warsof the Cevennes, under Col. Cavallier, in defence of the Protestantspersecuted in that country, and of the peace concluded between him andthe Mareschal Duke of Villars; of his conference with the King ofFrance, after the conclusion of the peace; with letters relatingthereto, from Mareschal Villars, and Chamillard, secretary of state. "(Percy. )]

[Footnote 304: It was a younger brother, an abbé, who used his pen andsword against Lewis XIV. He was employed in England, had preferment inthe army, and a pension; but, being found a useless villain, he was soondiscarded. He then endeavoured to make his peace with France, by actinghere as a spy; but being detected, he was brought before the CabinetCouncil, to be examined, March 8, 1711. In the course of his examinationhe took an opportunity to stab Mr. Harley. Of the wounds given to thisassassin on that occasion, he died in Newgate soon after. See the"Narrative of Guiscard's Examination, " by Mrs. Manley, from factscommunicated to her by Dr. Swift. See also _Examiner_, No. 32. (Nichols. )]

[Footnote 305: Soon after the conclusion of the late treaty of peace, the French king dispersed a letter through his dominions, wherein heshows the reasons why he could not ratify the preliminaries. _Vide_ thepublic newspapers of this date. (Steele. )]

[Footnote 306: N. B. --Mons. Bernard and the chief bankers of Francebecame bankrupts about this time (Steele). --See news paragraph in Nos. 3, 5, 9. ]

No. 30. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, June 16_, to _Saturday, June 18, 1709. _

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, June 16. 

The vigilance, the anxiety, the tenderness, which I have for the goodpeople of England, I am persuaded will in time be much commended; but Idoubt whether they will ever be rewarded. However, I must go oncheerfully in my work of reformation: that being my great design, I amstudious to prevent my labours increasing upon me; therefore amparticularly observant of the temper and inclinations of childhood andyouth, that we may not give vice and folly supplies from the growinggeneration. It is hardly to be imagined how useful this study is, andwhat great evils or benefits arise from putting us in our tender yearsto what we are fit, or unfit: therefore on Tuesday last (with a designto sound their inclinations) I took three lads who are under myguardianship a rambling, in a hackney-coach, to show them the town, asthe lions, [307] the tombs, [308] Bedlam, [309] and the other places whichare entertainments to raw minds, because they strike forcibly on thefancy. The boys are brothers, one of sixteen, the other of fourteen, theother of twelve. The first was his father's darling, the second hismother's, and the third is mine, who am their uncle. Mr. William is alad of true genius; but being at the upper end of a great school, andhaving all the lads below him, his arrogance is insupportable. If Ibegin to show a little of my Latin, he immediately interrupts: "Uncle, under favour, that which you say is not understood in that manner. ""Brother, " says my boy Jack, "you do not show your manners much incontradicting my Uncle Isaac. " "You queer cur, " says Mr. William, "doyou think my uncle takes any notice of such a dull rogue as you are?"Mr. William goes on; "He is the most stupid of all my mother's children:he knows nothing of his book: when he should mind that, he is hiding orhoarding his taws and marbles, or laying up farthings. His way ofthinking is, four and twenty farthings make sixpence, and two sixpencesa shilling, two shillings and sixpence half a crown, and two half-crownsfive shillings. So within these two months, the close hunks has scrapedup twenty shillings, and we'll make him spend it all before he comeshome. " Jack immediately claps his hands into both pockets, and turns aspale as ashes. There is nothing touches a parent (and such I am to Jack)so nearly, as a provident temper. This lad has in him the true temperfor a good husband, a kind father, and an honest executor. All the greatpeople you see make considerable figures on the 'Change, in Court, andsometimes in Senates, are such as in reality have no greater facultythan what may be called human instinct, which is a natural tendency totheir own preservation, and that of their friends, without being capableof striking out of the road for adventures. There is Sir William Scripwas of this sort of capacity from his childhood: he has bought thecountry round him, and makes a bargain better than Sir Harry Wildfirewith all his wit and humour. Sir Harry never wants money but he comes toScrip, laughs at him half an hour, and then gives bond for the otherthousand. The close men are incapable of placing merit anywhere but intheir pence, and therefore gain it; while others, who have largercapacities, are diverted from the pursuit by enjoyments, which can besupported only by that cash which they despise; and therefore are in theend, slaves to their inferiors both in fortune and understanding. I onceheard a man of excellent sense observe, that more affairs in the worldfailed by being in the hands of men of too large capacities for theirbusiness, than by being in the conduct of such as wanted abilities toexecute them. Jack therefore being of a plodding make, shall be acitizen; and I design him to be the refuge of the family in theirdistress, as well as their jest in prosperity. His brother Will, shallgo to Oxford with all speed, where, if he does not arrive at being a manof sense, he will soon be informed wherein he is a coxcomb. There is inthat place such a true spirit of raillery and humour, that if they can'tmake you a wise man, they will certainly let you know you are a fool, which is all my cousin wants to cease to be so. Thus having taken thesetwo out of the way, I have leisure to look at my third lad. I observe inthe young rogue a natural subtilty of mind, which discovers itselfrather in forbearing to declare his thoughts on any occasion, than inany visible way of exerting himself in discourse. For which reason Iwill place him where, if he commits no faults, he may go farther thanthose in other stations, though they excel in virtues. The boy is wellfashioned, and will easily fall into a graceful manner; wherefore, Ihave a design to make him a page to a great lady of my acquaintance; bywhich means he will be well skilled in the common modes of life, andmake a greater progress in the world by that knowledge, than with thegreatest qualities without it. A good mien in a Court will carry a mangreater lengths than a good understanding in any other place. We see aworld of pains taken, and the best years of life spent, in collecting aset of thoughts in a college for the conduct of life; and after all, theman so qualified shall hesitate in his speech to a good suit of clothes, and want common sense before an agreeable woman. Hence it is, thatwisdom, valour, justice, and learning, can't keep a man in countenancethat is possessed with these excellences, if he wants that less art oflife and behaviour, called "good breeding. " A man endowed with greatperfections without this, is like one who has his pockets full of gold, but always wants change for his ordinary occasions. Will. Courtly is aliving instance of this truth, and has had the same education which I amgiving my nephew. He never spoke a thing but what was said before; andyet can converse with the wittiest men without being ridiculous. Amongthe learned, he does not appear ignorant; nor with the wise, indiscreet. Living in conversation from his infancy, makes him nowhere at a loss;and a long familiarity with the persons of men, is in a manner of thesame service to him, as if he knew their arts. As ceremony is theinvention of wise men to keep fools at a distance, so good breeding isan expedient to make fools and wise men equals. 

Will's Coffee-house, June 17. 

The suspension of the playhouse[310] has made me have nothing to sendyou from hence; but calling here this evening, I found the party Iusually sit with, upon the business of writing, and examining what wasthe handsomest style in which to address women, and write letters ofgallantry. Many were the opinions which were immediately declared onthis subject: some were for a certain softness; some for I know not whatdelicacy; others for something inexpressibly tender: when it came to me, I said there was no rule in the world to be made for writing letters, but that of being as near what you speak face to face as you can; whichis so great a truth, that I am of opinion, writing has lost moremistresses than any one mistake in the whole legend of love. For whenyou write to a lady for whom you have a solid and honourable love, thegreat idea you have of her, joined to a quick sense of her absence, fills your mind with a sort of tenderness, that gives your language toomuch the air of complaint, which is seldom successful. For a man mayflatter himself as he pleases, but he will find, that the women havemore understanding in their own affairs than we have, and women ofspirit are not to be won by mourners. Therefore he that can keephandsomely within rules, and support the carriage of a companion to hismistress, is much more likely to prevail, than he who lets her see, thewhole relish of his life depends upon her. If possible therefore divertyour mistress, rather than sigh to her. The pleasant man she will desirefor her own sake; but the languishing lover has nothing to hope from buther pity. To show the difference I produced two letters a lady gave me, which had been writ to her by two gentlemen who pretended to her, butwere both killed the next day after the date at the battle of Almanza. One of them was a mercurial gay-humoured man; the other a man of aserious, but a great and gallant spirit. Poor Jack Careless! This is hisletter: you see how it is folded: the air of it is so negligent, onemight have read half of it by peeping into it, without breaking it open. He had no exactness. 

"MADAM, "It is a very pleasant circumstance I am in, that while I should bethinking of the good company we are to meet within a day or two, wherewe shall go to loggerheads, my thoughts are running upon a fair enemy inEngland. I was in hopes I had left you there; but you follow the camp, though I have endeavoured to make some of our leaguer ladies drive youout of the field. All my comfort is, you are more troublesome to mycolonel than myself: I permit you to visit me only now and then; but hedownright keeps you. I laugh at his Honour as far as his gravity willallow me; but I know him to be a man of too much merit to succeed with awoman. Therefore defend your heart as well as you can, I shall come homethis winter irresistibly dressed, and with quite a new foreign air. Andso I had like to say, I rest, but alas! I remain, "Madam, "Your most obedient, "Most humble Servant, "JOHN CARELESS. "

Now for Colonel Constant's epistle; you see it is folded and directedwith the utmost care. 

"MADAM, "I do myself the honour to write to you this evening, because I believeto-morrow will be a day of battle, and something forebodes in my breastthat I shall fall in it. If it proves so, I hope you will hear, I havedone nothing below a man who had a love of his country, quickened by apassion for a woman of honour. If there be anything noble in going to acertain death; if there be any merit, that I meet it with pleasure, bypromising myself a place in your esteem; if your applause, when I am nomore, is preferable to the most glorious life without you: I say, madam, if any of these considerations can have weight with you, you will giveme a kind place in your memory, which I prefer to the glory of Cæsar. Ihope, this will be read, as it is writ, with tears. "

The beloved lady is a woman of a sensible mind; but she has confessedto me, that after all her true and solid value for Constant, she hadmuch more concern for the loss of Careless. Those great and seriousspirits have something equal to the adversities they meet with, andconsequently lessen the objects of pity. Great accidents seem not cutout so much for men of familiar characters, which makes them more easilypitied, and soon after beloved. Add to this, that the sort of love whichgenerally succeeds, is a stranger to awe and distance. I asked Romana, whether of the two she should have chosen had they survived? She said, she knew she ought to have taken Constant; but believed she should havechosen Careless. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 17. 

Letters from Lisbon of the 9th instant, N. S. , say, that the enemy'sarmy, having blocked up Olivenza, was posted on the Guadiana. ThePortuguese are very apprehensive that the garrison of that place, thoughit consists of five of the best regiments of their army, will be obligedto surrender, if not timely relieved, they not being supplied withprovisions for more than six weeks. Hereupon their generals held acouncil of war on the 4th instant, wherein it was concluded to advancetowards Badajos. With this design the army decamped on the 5th fromJerumena, and marched to Cancaon. It is hoped, that if the enemy followtheir motions, they may have opportunity to put a sufficient quantity ofprovision and ammunition into Olivenza. 

Mr. Bickerstaff gives notice to all persons that dress themselves asthey please, without regard to decorum (as with blue and red stockingsin mourning; tucked cravats, and nightcap wigs, before people of thefirst quality) that he has yet received no fine for indulging them inthat liberty, and that he expects their compliance with this demand, orthat they go home immediately and shift themselves. This is further toacquaint the town, that the report that the hosiers, toymen, andmilliners, have compounded with Mr. Bickerstaff for tolerating suchenormities, is utterly false and scandalous. 

[Footnote 307: At the Tower of London. The Tower menagerie was one ofthe sights of London until its removal in 1834. See Addison's_Freeholder_; No. 47. ]

[Footnote 308: In Westminster Abbey. ]

[Footnote 309: The Priory of Bethlem, in St. Botolph Without, Bishopsgate, was given by Henry VIII. To the Corporation of London, andwas from thenceforth used as a hospital for lunatics. In 1675 a newhospital was built near London Wall, in Moorfields, at a cost of£17, 000. See Hogarth's "Rake's Progress, " Plate 8. In No. 127, Steelecalls Bedlam "that magnificent palace. "]

[Footnote 310: Drury Lane Theatre was closed on June 6, 1709, by orderof the Lord Chamberlain, in consequence of Rich's ill-treatment of theactors. ]

No. 31. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, June 18_, to _Tuesday, June 21, 1709. _

 * * * * *

Grecian Coffee-house, June 18. 

In my dissertation against the custom of single combat, [311] it has beenobjected, that there is not learning, or much reading, shown therein, which is the very life and soul of all treatises; for which reason, being always easy to receive admonitions, and reform my errors, Ithought fit to consult this learned board on the subject. Upon proposingsome doubts, and desiring their assistance, a very hopeful younggentleman, my relation, who is to be called to the bar within a year anda half at farthest, told me, that he had ever since I first mentionedduelling turned his head that way; and that he was principally movedthereto, by reason that he thought to follow the circuits in the Northof England and South of Scotland, and to reside mostly at his own estateat Landbadernawz[312] in Cardiganshire. The northern Britons andsouthern Scots are a warm people, and the Welsh a nation of gentlemen;so that it behoved him to understand well the science of quarrelling. The young gentleman proceeded admirably well, and gave the board anaccount, that he had read Fitzherbert's "Grand Abridgment, "[313] and hadfound, that duelling is a very ancient part of the law: for when a manis sued, be it for his life or his land, the person that joins theissue, whether plaintiff or defendant, may put the trial upon the duel. Further he argued, under favour of the court, that when the issue isjoined by the duel in treason or other capital crimes, the partiesaccused and accuser must fight in their own proper persons: but if thedispute be for lands, you may hire a champion atHockley-in-the-Hole, [314] for anywhere else. This part of the law we hadfrom the Saxons; and they had it, as also the trial by ordeal, from theLaplanders. [315] "It is indeed agreed, " said he, "the Southern andEastern nations never knew anything of it; for though the ancient Romanswould scold, and call names filthily, yet there is not an example of achallenge that ever passed amongst them. " His quoting the Easternnations, put another gentleman in mind of an account he had from aboatswain of an East Indiaman; which was, that a Chinese had tricked andbubbled him, and that when he came to demand satisfaction the nextmorning, and like a true tar of honour called him "Son of a whore, ""Liar, " "Dog, " and other rough appellatives used by persons conversantwith winds and waves; the Chinese, with great tranquillity, desired himnot to come aboard fasting, nor put himself in a heat, for it wouldprejudice his health. Thus the East knows nothing of this gallantry. There sat at the left of the table a person of a venerable aspect, whoasserted, that half the impositions which are put upon these ages, havebeen transmitted by writers who have given too great pomp andmagnificence to the exploits of the ancient Bear Garden, and made theirgladiators, by fabulous tradition, greater than Gorman[316] and othersof Great Britain. He informed the company, that he had searchedauthorities for what he said, and that a learned antiquary, HumphreyScarecrow, Esq. , of Hockley-in-the-Hole, recorder to the Bear Garden, was then writing a discourse on the subject. It appears by the bestaccounts, says this gentleman, that the high names which are used amongus with so great veneration, were no other than stage-fighters, andworthies of the ancient Bear Garden. The renowned Hercules alwayscarried a quarterstaff, and was from thence called Claviger. A learnedchronologist is about proving what wood this staff was made of, whetheroak, ash, or crab-tree. The first trial of skill he ever performed, waswith one Cacus, a deer-stealer; the next was with Typhonus, a giant offorty feet four inches. Indeed it was unhappily recorded, that meetingat last with a sailor's wife, she made his staff of prowess serve herown use, and dwindle away to a distaff: she clapped him on an old tarjacket of her husband's; so that this great hero drooped like a scabbedsheep. Him his contemporary Theseus succeeded in the Bear Garden, whichhonour he held for many years: this grand duellist went to hell, and wasthe only one of that sort that ever came back again. As for Achilles andHector (as the ballads of those times mention), they were pretty smartfellows; they fought at sword and buckler; but the former had much thebetter of it; his mother, who was an oyster-woman, having got ablacksmith of Lemnos to make her son's weapons. There is a pair oftrusty Trojans in a song of Virgil's, that were famous for handlingtheir gauntlets, Dares, and Entellus;[317] and indeed it does appear, they fought [for] no sham prize. What arms the great Alexander used, isuncertain; however, the historian mentions, when he attacked Thalestris, it was only at single rapier; but the weapon soon failed; for it wasalways observed, that the Amazons had a sort of enchantment about them, which made the blade of the weapon, though of never so good metal, atevery home push, lose its edge and grow feeble. The Roman Bear Gardenwas abundantly more magnificent than anything Greece could boast of; itflourished most under those delights of mankind, Nero and Domitian: atone time it is recorded, four hundred senators entered the list, andthought it an honour to be cudgelled and quarterstaffed. [318] I observe, the Lanistaé were the people chiefly employed, which makes me imagineour Bear Garden copied much after this, the butchers being the greatestmen in it. Thus far the glory and honour of the Bear Garden stoodsecure, till fate, that irresistible ruler of sublunary things, in thatuniversal ruin of arts and politer learning, by those savage people theGoths and Vandals, destroyed and levelled it to the ground. Thus fellthe grandeur and bravery of the Roman state, till at last the warlikegenius (but accompanied with more courtesy) revived in the Christianworld under those puissant champions, St. George, St. Denis, and otherdignified heroes: one killed his dragon, another his lion, and were allafterwards canonised for it, having red letters before them toillustrate their martial temper. [319] The Spanish nation, it must beowned, were devoted to gallantry and chivalry above the rest of theworld. What a great figure does that great name, Don Quixote, make inhistory? How shines this glorious star in the Western world? O renownedhero! O mirror of knighthood!

 _Thy brandished whinyard all the world defies, And kills as sure as del Tobosa's eyes. _

I am forced to break off abruptly, being sent for in haste, with myrule, to measure the degree of an affront, before the two gentlemen (whoare now in their breeches and pumps ready to engage behind MontagueHouse[320]) have made a pass. 

From my own Apartment, June 18. 

It is an unreasonable objection I find against my labours, that my stockis not all my own, and therefore the kind reception I have met with isnot so deserved as it ought to be. But I hope, though it be never sotrue that I am obliged to my friends for laying their cash in my hands, since I give it them again when they please, and leave them at theirliberty to call it home, it will not hurt me with my gentle readers. Askall the merchants who act upon consignments, where is the necessity (ifthey answer readily what their correspondents draw) of their beingwealthy themselves? Ask the greatest bankers, if all the men they dealwith were to draw at once, what would be the consequence? But indeed acountry friend has writ me a letter which gives me great mortification;wherein I find I am so far from expecting a supply from thence, thatsome have not heard of me, and the rest do not understand me. Hisepistle is as follows:[321]

"DEAR COUSIN, "I thought when I left the town to have raised your fame here, andhelped you to support it by intelligence from hence; but alas! they hadnever heard of the _Tatler_ until I brought down a set. I lent them fromhouse to house; but they asked me what they meant. I began to enlightenthem, by telling who and who were supposed to be intended by thecharacters drawn. I said for instance, Chloe[322] and Clarissa are twoeminent toasts. A gentleman (who keeps his greyhound and gun, and onewould think might know better) told me, he supposed they were papishes, for their names were not English: 'Then, ' said he, 'why do you call livepeople "toasts"?' I answered, that was a new name found out by the wits, to make a lady have the same effect as burridge[323] in the glass when aman is drinking. 'But, ' says I, 'sir, I perceive this is to you allbamboozling; why you look as if you were Don Diego'd[324] to the tune ofa thousand pounds. ' All this good language was lost upon him: he onlystared, though he is as good a scholar as any layman in the town, exceptthe barber. Thus, cousin, you must be content with London for the centreof your wealth and fame; we have no relish for you. Wit must describeits proper circumference, and not go beyond it, lest (like little boys, when they straggle out of their own parish), it may wander to placeswhere it is not known, and be lost. Since it is so, you must excuse methat I am forced at a visit to sit silent, and only lay up whatexcellent things pass at such conversations. 

"This evening I was with a couple of young ladies; one of them has thecharacter of the prettiest company, yet really I thought her but silly;the other, who talked a great deal less, I observed to haveunderstanding. The lady who is reckoned such a companion among heracquaintance, has only, with a very brisk air, a knack of saying thecommonest things: the other, with a sly serious one, says home thingsenough. The first (Mistress Giddy) is very quick; but the second (Mrs. Slim) fell into Giddy's own style, and was as good company as she. Giddyhappens to drop her glove; Slim reaches it to her: 'Madam, ' says Giddy, 'I hope you'll have a better office. ' Upon which Slim immediatelyrepartees, and sits in her lap, and cries, 'Are you not sorry for myheaviness?' This sly wench pleased me to see how she hit her height ofunderstanding so well. We sat down to supper. Says Giddy, mightyprettily, 'Two hands in a dish and one in a purse': says Slim, 'Ay, madam, the more the merrier; but the fewer the better cheer. ' I quicklytook the hint, and was as witty and talkative as they. Says I, "_'He that will not when he may, When he will he shall have nay;'_

and so helped myself. Giddy turns about, 'What, have you found yourtongue?' 'Yes, ' says I, 'it is manners to speak when I am spoken to; butyour greatest talkers are little doers, and the still sow eats up allthe broth. ' 'Ha! ha!' says Giddy, 'one would think he had nothing inhim, and do you hear how he talks when he pleases. ' I grew immediatelyroguish and pleasant to a degree in the same strain. Slim, who knew howgood company we had been, cries, 'You'll certainly print this brightconversation. '"

It is so; and hereby you may see how small an appearance the prettiestthings said in company, make when in print. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 20. 

A mail from Lisbon has brought advices of June the 12th, from the Kingof Portugal's army encamped at Torre Allegada, which inform us, that thegeneral of the army called a court-martial on the 4th at the camp ofGerumhena, where it was resolved to march with a design to attempt thesuccour of Olivenza. Accordingly the army moved on the 5th, and marchedtowards Badajos. Upon their approach, the Marquis de Bay detached sogreat a party from the blockade of Olivenza, that the Marquis des Minas, at the head of a large detachment, covered a great convoy of provisionstowards Olivenza, which threw in their stores, and marched back to themain army, without molestation from the Spaniards. They add, that eacharmy must necessarily march into quarters within twenty days. 

Whosoever can discover a surgeon's apprentice, who fell upon Mr. Bickerstaff's messenger, or (as the printers call him) devil, going tothe press, and tore out of his hand part of his essay against duels, inthe fragments of which were the words, "You lie, " and "Man of honour, "taken up at the Temple Gate; and the words, "Perhaps, "--"May benot, "--"By your leave, sir, "--and other terms of provocation, taken upat the door of Young Man's Coffee-house, [325] shall receive satisfactionfrom Mr. Morphew, besides a set of arguments to be spoken to any man ina passion, which, if the said enraged man listens to, will preventquarrelling. 

Mr. Bickerstaff does hereby give notice, that he has taken the twofamous universities of this land under his immediate care, and doeshereby promise all tutors and pupils, that he will hear what can be saidof each side between them, and to correct them impartially, by placingthem in orders and classes in the learned world, according to theirmerit. [326]

[Footnote 311: See Nos. 25, 26, 28, 29. ]

[Footnote 312: Probably meant for Llanbadern Vawr, if not a name coinedfor the occasion. ]

[Footnote 313: Sir Anthony Fitzherbert's book was published in 1514. ]

[Footnote 314: See Nos. 28, 134. ]

[Footnote 315: See Selden, "De Duello" (1610), p. 19. ]

[Footnote 316: A prize-fighter mentioned in Lansdowne's epilogue to "TheJew of Venice. "]

[Footnote 317: "Æneid, " v. 437 _seq. _]

[Footnote 318: Suetonius, "Life of Nero, " chap. 12. ]

[Footnote 319: An allusion to the rubrics in Roman missals. ]

[Footnote 320: The fields at the back of Montague House, Bloomsbury, were a favourite place for duels in the first half of the eighteenthcentury. Cf. _Spectator_, No. 91: "I shall be glad to meet youimmediately in Hyde Park or behind Montague House, or attend you to BarnElms, or any other fashionable place that's fit for a gentleman to diein. "]

[Footnote 321: It has been suggested, with some probability, that thisletter is by Swift. ]

[Footnote 322: See No. 4. ]

[Footnote 323: Borago was a plant formerly used as a cordial. ]

[Footnote 324: See No. 21. ]

[Footnote 325: Young Man's Coffee-house at Charing Cross, had a backdoor into Spring Garden. It seems to have been specially frequented byofficers. ]

[Footnote 326: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received the advices from Clay Hill, which, with all intelligence from honest Mr. Sturdy and others, shallhave their place in our future story" (folio). ]

No. 32. [SWIFT AND STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, June 21_, to _Thursday, June 23, 1709. _

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 22. 

An answer to the following letter being absolutely necessary to bedespatched with all expedition, I must trespass upon all that come withhorary questions into my ante-chamber, to give the gentlemen my opinion. 

#"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. _#

"_June 18_, 1709. 

"SIR, "I know not whether you ought to pity or laugh at me; for I am fallendesperately in love with a professed Platonne, the most unaccountablecreature of her sex. To hear her talk seraphics, and run overNorris, [327] and More, [328] and Milton, [329] and the whole set ofintellectual triflers, torments me heartily; for to a lover whounderstands metaphors, all this pretty prattle of ideas gives very fineviews of pleasure, which only the dear declaimer prevents, byunderstanding them literally. Why should she wish to be a cherubim, whenit is flesh and blood that makes her adorable? If I speak to her, thatis a high breach of the idea of intuition: if I offer at her hand orlip, she shrinks from the touch like a sensitive plant, and wouldcontract herself into mere spirit. She calls her chariot, 'vehicle'; herfurbelowed scarf, 'pinions': her blue mant and petticoat is her 'azuredress'; and her footman goes by the name of Oberon. It is my misfortuneto be six foot and a half high, two full spans between the shoulders, thirteen inches diameter in the calves; and before I was in love, I hada noble stomach, and usually went to bed sober with two bottles. I amnot quite six and twenty, and my nose is marked truly aquiline. Forthese reasons, I am in a very particular manner her aversion. What shallI do? Impudence itself cannot reclaim her. If I write miserable, shereckons me among the children of perdition, and discards me her region:if I assume the gross and substantial, she plays the real ghost with me, and vanishes in a moment. I had hopes in the hypocrisy of her sex; butperseverance makes it as bad as fixed aversion. I desire your opinion, whether I may not lawfully play the Inquisition upon her, make use of alittle force, and put her to the rack and the torture, only to convinceher she has really fine limbs, without spoiling or distorting them. Iexpect your directions, ere I proceed to dwindle and fall away withdespair; which at present I don't think advisable; because, if sheshould recant, she may then hate me perhaps in the other extreme for mytenuity. I am (with impatience) "Your most humble Servant, "CHARLES STURDY. "

My patient has put his case with very much warmth, and represented it inso lively a manner, that I see both his torment and tormentor with greatperspicuity. This order of platonic ladies are to be dealt with in apeculiar manner from all the rest of the sex. Flattery is the generalway, and the way in this case; but it is not to be done grossly. Everyman that has wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a good flattererfor woman in general; but a Platonne is not to be touched withpanegyric: she will tell you, it is a sensuality in the soul to bedelighted that way. You are not therefore to commend, but silentlyconsent to all she does, and says. You are to consider in her the scornof you is not humour, but opinion. There were some years since a set ofthese ladies who were of quality, and gave out, that virginity was to betheir state of life during this mortal condition, and therefore resolvedto join their fortunes, and erect a nunnery. The place of residence waspitched upon; and a pretty situation, full of natural falls and risingsof waters, with shady coverts, and flowery arbours, was approved byseven of the founders. There were as many of our sex who took theliberty to visit those mansions of intended severity; among others, afamous rake of that time, who had the grave way to an excellence. Hecame in first; but upon seeing a servant coming towards him, with adesign to tell him, this was no place for him or his companions, up goesmy grave impudence to the maid: "Young woman, " said he, "if any of theladies are in the way on this side of the house, pray carry us on theother side towards the gardens: we are, you must know, gentlemen thatare travelling England; after which we shall go into foreign parts, where some of us have already been. " Here he bows in the most humblemanner, and kissed the girl, who knew not how to behave to such a sortof carriage. He goes on: "Now you must know we have an ambition to haveit to say, that we have a Protestant nunnery in England: but pray Mrs. Betty--" "Sir, " she replied, "my name is Susan, at your service. " "ThenI heartily beg your pardon--" "No offence in the least, " says she, "forI have a cousin-german whose name is Betty. " "Indeed, " said he, "Iprotest to you that was more than I knew, I spoke at random: but sinceit happens that I was near in the right, give me leave to present thisgentleman to the favour of a civil salute. " His friend advances, and soon, till that they had all saluted her. By this means, the poor girl wasin the middle of the crowd of these fellows, at a loss what to do, without courage to pass through them; and the Platonics, at severalpeep-holes, pale, trembling, and fretting. Rake perceived they wereobserved, and therefore took care to keep Suky in chat with questionsconcerning their way of life; when appeared at last Madonella, [330] alady who had writ a fine book concerning the recluse life, and was theprojectrix of the foundation. She approaches into the hall; and Rake, knowing the dignity of his own mien and aspect, goes deputy from hiscompany. She begins, "Sir, I am obliged to follow the servant, who wassent out to know, what affair could make strangers press upon a solitudewhich we, who are to inhabit this place, have devoted to Heaven and ourown thoughts?" "Madam, " replies Rake, with an air of great distance, mixed with a certain indifference, by which he could dissembledissimulation, "your great intention has made more noise in the worldthan you design it should; and we travellers, who have seen many foreigninstitutions of this kind, have a curiosity to see, in its firstrudiments, this seat of primitive piety; for such it must be called byfuture ages, to the eternal honour of the founders. I have readMadonella's excellent and seraphic discourse on this subject. " The ladyimmediately answers, "If what I have said could have contributed toraise any thoughts in you that may make for the advancement ofintellectual and divine conversation, I should think myself extremelyhappy. " He immediately fell back with the profoundest veneration; thenadvancing, "Are you then that admired lady? If I may approach lips whichhave uttered things so sacred--" He salutes her. His friends follow hisexample. The devoted within stood in amazement where this would end, tosee Madonella receive their address and their company. But Rake goes on, "We would not transgress rules; but if we may take the liberty to seethe place you have thought fit to choose for ever, we would go into suchparts of the gardens as is consistent with the severities you haveimposed on yourselves. " To be short, Madonella permitted Rake to leadher into the assembly of nuns, followed by his friends, and each tookhis fair one by the hand, after due explanation, to walk round thegardens. The conversation turned upon the lilies, the flowers, thearbors, and the growing vegetables; and Rake had the solemn impudence, when the whole company stood round him, to say, "That he sincerelywished that men might rise out of the earth like plants; and that ourminds were not of necessity to be sullied with carnivorous appetites forthe generation, as well as support of our species. "[331] This was spokewith so easy and fixed an assurance, that Madonella answered, "Sir, under the notion of a pious thought, you deceive yourself in wishing aninstitution foreign to that of Providence: these desires were implantedin us for reverent purposes, in preserving the race of men, and givingopportunities for making our chastity more heroic. " The conference wascontinued in this celestial strain, and carried on so well by themanagers on both sides, that it created a second and a third[332]interview; and, without entering into further particulars, there washardly one of them but was a mother or father that day twelve-month. 

Any unnatural part is long taking up, and as long laying aside;therefore Mr. Sturdy may assure himself, Platonica will fly for everfrom a forward behaviour; but if he approaches her according to thismodel, she will fall in with the necessities of mortal life, andcondescend to look with pity upon an unhappy man, imprisoned in so muchbody, and urged by such violent desires. 

From my own Apartment, June 22. 

The evils of this town increase upon me to so great a degree, that I amhalf afraid I shall not leave the world much better than I found it. Several worthy gentlemen and critics have applied to me, to give mycensure of an enormity which has been revived (after being longoppressed) and is called Punning. [333] I have several arguments ready toprove, that he cannot be a man of honour who is guilty of this abuse ofhuman society. But the way to expose it, is like the expedient of curingdrunkenness, showing a man in that condition: therefore I must give myreader warning, to expect a collection of these offences; without whichpreparation, I thought it too adventurous to introduce the very mentionof it in good company; and hope I shall be understood to do it, as adivine mentions oaths and curses, only for their condemnation. I shalldedicate this discourse to a gentleman my very good friend, who is theJanus[334] of our times, and whom by his years and wit, you would taketo be of the last age; but by his dress and morals, of this. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 22. 

Last night arrived two mails from Holland, which brings letters from theHague of the 28th instant, N. S. , with advice, that the enemy layencamped behind a strong retrenchment, with the marsh of Remières ontheir right and left, extending itself as far as Bethune: La Bassée isin their front, Lens in their rear, and their camp is strengthened byanother line from Lens to Douay. The Duke of Marlborough caused an exactobservation to be made of their ground, and the works by which they werecovered, which appeared so strong, that it was not thought proper toattack them in their present posture. However, the Duke thought fit tomake a feint as if he designed it; and accordingly marching from theabbey at Looze, as did Prince Eugene from Lampret, advanced with allpossible diligence towards the enemy. To favour the appearance of anintended assault, the ways were made, and orders distributed in such amanner, that none in either camp could have thoughts of anything butcharging the enemy by break of day the next morning: but soon after thefall of the night of the 26th, the whole army faced towards Tournay, which place they invested early in the morning of the 27th. The MarshalVillars was so confident that we designed to attack him, that he haddrawn great part of the garrison of the place, which is now invested, into the field: for which reason, it is presumed it must submit within asmall time; which the enemy cannot prevent, but by coming out of theirpresent camp, and hazarding a general engagement. These advices add, that the garrison of Mons had marched out under the command of Marshald'Arco; which, with the Bavarians, Walloons, and the troops of Cologne, have joined the grand army of the enemy. 

[Footnote 327: John Norris (1657-1711), the divine, published, in 1688, "The Theory and Regulation of Love, a Moral Essay; to which are addedLetters Philosophical and Moral between the author and Doctor HenryMore. "]

[Footnote 328: Henry More, the platonist (1614-87), published "DivineDialogues, " "Conjectura Cabalistica, " and many other works. ]

[Footnote 329: It is not clear why Milton is bracketed with Norris andMore; perhaps Swift had in mind such passages about heavenly love asthat in "Paradise Lost, " viii. 588-614. ]

[Footnote 330: Swift seems to have been the author of this first portionof No. 32, which contains a scandalous attack on Mary Astell. Nicholsthought that Addison also had a share in it. See Nos. 59, 63. Mrs. Astell, a friend of Lady Elizabeth Hastings and John Norris, published, in 1694, her "Serious Proposal to the Ladies, " advocating a Church ofEngland monastery, without any irrevocable vows. Provision was made formental as well as moral training; in fact, the institution was to havebeen "rather academical than monastic. " But Bishop Burnet advised LadyElizabeth Hastings not to subscribe to the proposed building, and thescheme fell through. In 1709, Miss Astell published a book called"Bart'lemy Fair; or, An Enquiry after Wit. . . . By Mr. Wotton, in answerto Lord Shaftesbury's Letter concerning Enthusiasm, and other profanewriters. " In the advertisement to the Second Edition ("An Enquiry afterWit, " &c. , 1722), Mary Astell says that, although her book was at firstpublished under a borrowed name, it was ascribed to her, and drew uponher the resentment of that sort of men of wit who were exposed, and wasthe true cause of the fable published in the _Tatler_ a little after the"Enquiry" appeared. But she notes that, although the _Tatler_ showed itsteeth against the "Proposal to the Ladies, " the compilator made amendsto the author (if not to the bookseller), by transcribing above ahundred pages into his _Ladies' Library_ verbatim, except in a fewplaces, which would not be found to be improved. The "Enquiry after Wit"is dedicated "To the most Illustrious Society of the Kit-Cats, " withmany sarcastic allusions to their luxury, oaths, &c. True, their nameshad not been heard of from Hochsted or Ramillies, but then their heroismfound in every place an ample theatre for their merits. "The Bath, theWells, and every Fair, each Chocolate, Gaming House and Tavern resoundswith your noble exploits. "]

[Footnote 331: This is borrowed from Sir Thomas Browne's "ReligioMedici, " part ii. Sect. 9. ]

[Footnote 332: "Second, " in original editions. ]

[Footnote 333: There is an apology for punning in No. 36 of the_Guardian_. ]

[Footnote 334: Swift. ]

No. 33. [STEELE. 

By Mrs. JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF. 

From _Thursday, June 23_, to _Saturday, June 25_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, June 23. 

My brother has made an excursion into the country, and the work againstSaturday lies upon me. I am very glad I have got pen and ink in my hand;for I have for some time longed for his absence, to give a right idea ofthings, which I thought he put in a very odd light, and some of them tothe disadvantage of my own sex. It is much to be lamented, that it isnecessary to make discourses, and publish treatises, to keep the horridcreatures, the men, within the rules of common decency. Turning over thepapers of memorials or hints for the ensuing discourses, I find a lettersubscribed by Mr. Truman. 

"SIR, "I am lately come to town, and have read your works with much pleasure. You make wit subservient to good principles and good manners. Yet, because I design to buy the _Tatlers_ for my daughters to read, I takethe freedom to desire you, for the future, to say nothing about anycombat between Alexander and Thalestris. "[335]

This offence gives me occasion to express myself with the resentment Iought, on people who take liberties of speech before that sex of whomthe honoured names of mother, daughter, and sister, are a part: I hadliked to have named wife in the number; but the senseless world are somistaken in their sentiments of pleasure, that the most amiable term inhuman life is become the derision of fools and scorners. My brother andI have at least fifty times quarrelled upon this topic. I ever argue, that the frailties of women are to be imputed to the false ornamentswhich men of wit put upon our folly and coquetry. He lays all the vicesof men upon women's secret approbation of libertine characters in them. I did not care to give up a point; but now he is out of the way, Icannot but own I believe there is very much in what he asserted: for ifyou will believe your eyes, and own, that the wickedest and the wittiestof them all marry one day or other, is it possible to believe, that if aman thought he should be for ever incapable of being received by a womanof merit and honour, he would persist in an abandoned way, and denyhimself the possibility of enjoying the happiness of well-governeddesires, orderly satisfactions, and honourable methods of life? If oursex were wise, a lover should have a certificate from the last woman heserved, how he was turned away, before he was received into the serviceof another: but at present any vagabond is welcome, provided he promisesto enter into our livery. It is wonderful, that we will not take afootman without credentials from his last master; and in the greatestconcern of life, we make no scruple of falling into a treaty with themost notorious offender in his behaviour against others. But this breachof commerce between the sexes, proceeds from an unaccountable prevalenceof custom, by which a woman is to the last degree reproachable for beingdeceived, and a man suffers no loss of credit for being a deceiver. Since this tyrant humour has gained place, why are we represented in thewritings of men in ill figures for artifice in our carriage, when wehave to do with a professed impostor? When oaths, imprecations, vows, and adorations, are made use of as words of course, what arts are notnecessary to defend us from such as glory in the breach of them? As formy part, I am resolved to hear all, and believe none of them; andtherefore solemnly declare, no vow shall deceive me, but that ofmarriage: for I am turned of twenty, and being of a small fortune, somewit, and (if I can believe my lovers and my glass) handsome, I haveheard all that can be said towards my undoing, and shall therefore, forwarning sake, give an account of the offers that have been made me, mymanner of rejecting them, and my assistances to keep my resolution. Inthe sixteenth year of my life, I fell into the acquaintance of a lady, extremely well known in this town for the quick advancement of herhusband, and the honours and distinctions which her industry hasprocured him, and all who belong to her. This excellent body sat next tome for some months at church, and took the liberty (which she said heryears and the zeal she had for my welfare gave her claim to) to assureme, that she observed some parts of my behaviour which would lead meinto errors, and give encouragement to some to entertain hopes I did notthink of. "What made you, " said she, "look through your fan at thatlord, when your eyes should have been turned upward, or closed inattention upon better objects?" I blushed, and pretended fifty oddexcuses;--but confounded myself the more. She wanted nothing but to seethat confusion, and goes on: "Nay, child, do not be troubled that I takenotice of it, my value for you made me speak it; for though he is mykinsman, I have a nearer regard to virtue than any other consideration. "She had hardly done speaking, when this noble lord came up to us, andtook her hand to lead her to her coach. My head ran all that day andnight on the exemplary carriage of this woman who could be so virtuouslyimpertinent, as to admonish one she was hardly acquainted with. However, it struck upon the vanity of a girl that it may possibly be, his thoughts might have been as favourable of me, as mine were amorousof him, and as unlikely things as that have happened, if he should makeme his wife. She never mentioned this more to me; but I still in allpublic places stole looks at this man, who easily observed my passionfor him. It is so hard a thing to check the return of agreeablethoughts, that he became my dream, my vision, my food, my wish, mytorment. That minister of darkness, the Lady Sempronia, [336] perceivedtoo well the temper I was in, and would one day after evening serviceneeds take me to the Park. When we were there, my lord passes by; Iflushed into a flame. "Mrs. Distaff, " said she, "you may very wellremember the concern I was in upon the first notice I took of yourregard to that lord, and forgive me, who had a tender friendship foryour mother (now in her grave) that I am vigilant of your conduct. " Shewent on with much severity, and after great solicitation, prevailed onme to go with her into the country, and there spend the ensuing summerout of the way of a man she saw I loved, and one whom she perceivedmeditated my ruin, by frequently desiring her to introduce him to me;which she absolutely refused, except he would give his honour that hehad no other design but to marry me. To her country house a week or twoafter we went: there was at the farther end of her garden a kind ofwilderness, in the middle of which ran a soft rivulet by an arbour ofjessamine. In this place I usually passed my retired hours, and readsome romantic or poetical tale till the close of the evening. It wasnear that time in the heat of summer, when gentle winds, soft murmursof water, and notes of nightingales had given my mind an indolence, which added to that repose of soul, which twilight and the end of a warmday naturally throws upon the spirits. It was at such an hour, and insuch a state of tranquillity I sat, when, to my unexpressible amazement, I saw my lord walking towards me, whom I knew not till that moment tohave been in the country. I could observe in his approach the perplexitywhich attends a man big with design; and I had, while he was comingforward, time to reflect that I was betrayed; the sense of which gave mea resentment suitable to such a baseness: but when he entered into thebower where I was, my heart flew towards him, and, I confess, a certainjoy came into my mind, with a hope that he might then make a declarationof honour and passion. This threw my eye upon him with such tenderness, as gave him power, with a broken accent, to begin. "Madam, --You willwonder--For it is certain, you must have observed--though I fear youwill misinterpret the motives--But by Heaven, and all that's sacred! Ifyou could--" Here he made a full stand. And I recovered power to say, "The consternation I am in you will not, I hope, believe--A helplessinnocent maid--Besides that, the place--" He saw me in as greatconfusion as himself; which attributing to the same causes, he had theaudaciousness to throw himself at my feet, and talk of the stillness ofthe evening; then ran into deifications of my person, pure flames, constant love, eternal raptures, and a thousand other phrases drawn fromthe images we have of heaven, which ill men use for the service of hell, were run over with uncommon vehemence. After which, he seized me in hisarms: his design was too evident. In my utmost distress, I fell upon myknees--"My lord, pity me, on my knees--On my knees in the cause ofvirtue, as you were lately in that of wickedness. Can you think ofdestroying the labour of a whole life, the purpose of a long education, for the base service of a sudden appetite, to throw one that loves you, that dotes on you, out of the company and road of all that is virtuousand praiseworthy? Have I taken in all the instructions of piety, religion, and reason, for no other end, but to be the sacrifice of lust, and abandoned to scorn? Assume yourself, my lord, and do not attempt tovitiate a temple sacred to innocence, honour, and religion. If I haveinjured you, stab this bosom, and let me die, but not be ruined by thehand I love. " The ardency of my passion made me incapable of utteringmore; and I saw my lover astonished and reformed by my behaviour: whenrushed in Sempronia. "Ha! Faithless, base man, could you then steal outof town, and lurk like a robber about my house for such brutishpurposes?" My lord was by this time recovered, and fell into a violentlaughter at the turn which Sempronia designed to give her villany. Hebowed to me with the utmost respect: "Mrs. Distaff, " said he, "becareful hereafter of your company"; and so retired. The fiend Semproniacongratulated my deliverance with a flood of tears. This nobleman hassince very frequently made his addresses to me with honour, but I haveas often refused them; as well knowing, that familiarity and marriagewill make him, on some ill-natured occasion, call all I said in thearbour a theatrical action. Besides that, I glory in contemning a manwho had thoughts to my dishonour. And if this method were the imitationof the whole sex, innocence would be the only dress of beauty; and allaffectation by any other arts to please the eyes of men, would bebanished to the stews for ever. The conquest of passion gives ten timesmore happiness than we can reap from the gratification of it; and shethat has got over such a one as mine, will stand among beaux and prettyfellows, with as much safety as in a summer's day among grasshoppers andbutterflies. 

P. S. --I have ten millions of things more against men, if I ever get thepen again. 

St. James's Coffee-house, June 24. 

Our last advices from the Hague, dated the 28th instant, say, that onthe 25th a squadron of Dutch men-of-war sailed out of the Texel to joinAdmiral Baker at Spithead. The 26th was observed as a day of fasting andhumiliation, to implore a blessing on the arms of the Allies thisensuing campaign. Letters from Dresden are very particular in theaccount of the gallantry and magnificence in which that Court hasappeared since the arrival of the King of Denmark. No day has passed inwhich public shows have not been exhibited for his entertainment anddiversion: the last of that kind which is mentioned is a carousal, wherein many of the youth of the first quality, dressed in the mostsplendid manner, ran for the prize. His Danish Majesty condescended tothe same; but having observed that there was a design laid to throw itin his way, passed by without attempting to gain it. The Court ofDresden was preparing to accompany his Danish Majesty to Potsdam, wherethe expectation of an interview of three kings had drawn together suchmultitudes of people, that many persons of distinction will be obligedto lie in tents as long as those Courts continue in that place. 

[Footnote 335: See No. 31. ]

[Footnote 336: See Sallust, "Bell. Catal. " chap. 21. The person herereferred to as Sempronia is said to be the same as the Madam d'Epingleelsewhere alluded to. ]

No. 34. [STEELE. 

By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq. 

From _Saturday, June 25_, to _Tuesday, June 28, 1709. _

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, June 25. 

Having taken upon me to cure all the distempers which proceed fromaffections of the mind, I have laboured since I first kept this publicstage, to do all the good I could possibly, and have perfected manycures at my own lodging; carefully avoiding the common method ofmountebanks, to do their most eminent operations in sight of the people;but must be so just to my patients as to declare, they have testifiedunder their hands their sense of my poor abilities, and the good I havedone them, which I publish for the benefit of the world, and not out ofany thoughts of private advantage. I have cured fine Mrs. Spy of a greatimperfection in her eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from onecoxcomb to another in public places, in so languishing a manner, that itat once lessened her own power, and her beholder's vanity. Twenty dropsof my ink, placed in certain letters on which she attentively looked forhalf an hour, have restored her to the true use of her sight; which is, to guide, and not mislead us. Ever since she took this liquor, which Icall Bickerstaff's Circumspection Water, she looks right forward, andcan bear being looked at for half a day without returning one glance. This water has a peculiar virtue in it, which makes it the only truecosmetic or beauty wash in the world: the nature of it is such, that ifyou go to a glass, with design to admire your face, it immediatelychanges it into downright deformity. If you consult it only to lookwith a better countenance upon your friends, it immediately gives analacrity to the visage, and new grace to the whole person. There isindeed a great deal owing to the constitution of the person to whom itis applied: it is in vain to give it when the patient is in the rage ofthe distemper; a bride in her first month, a lady soon after herhusband's being knighted, or any person of either sex who has latelyobtained any new good fortune or preferment, must be prepared some timebefore they use it. It has an effect upon others, as well as thepatient, when it is taken in due form. Lady Petulant has by the use ofit cured her husband of jealousy, and Lady Gad her whole neighbourhoodof detraction. The fame of these things, added to my being an oldfellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair sex. You would hardlybelieve me, when I tell you there is not a man in town so much theirdelight as myself. They make no more of visiting me, than going to Madamd'Epingle's. [337] There were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira (Iassure you women of distinction) who came to see me this morning intheir way to prayers, and being in a very diverting humour as (innocencealways makes people cheerful) they would needs have me, according to thedistinction of "pretty" and "very pretty" fellows, inform them if Ithought either of them had a title to the "very pretty" among those oftheir own sex; and if I did, which was the more deserving of the two. Toput them to the trial, "Look ye, " said I, "I must not rashly give myjudgment in matters of this importance; pray let me see you dance: Iplay upon the kit. "[338] They immediately fell back to the lower end ofthe room (you may be sure they curtsied low enough to me): and began. Never were two in the world so equally matched, and both scholars to mynamesake Isaac. [339] Never was man in so dangerous a condition asmyself, when they began to expand their charms. "O! ladies, ladies, "cried I, "not half that air, you'll fire the house. " Both smiled; forby-the bye, there's no carrying a metaphor too far, when a lady's charmsare spoken of. Somebody, I think, has called a fine woman dancing, abrandished torch of beauty. [340] These rivals moved with such anagreeable freedom, that you would believe their gesture was thenecessary effect of the music, and not the product of skill andpractice. Now Clidamira came on with a crowd of graces, and demanded myjudgment with so sweet an air--and she had no sooner carried it, butDamia made her utterly forgot by a gentle sinking, and a rigadoonstep. [341] The contest held a full half-hour; and I protest, I saw nomanner of difference in their perfections, till they came up together, and expected my sentence. "Look ye, ladies, " said I, "I see nodifference in the least in your performance; but you Clidamira seem tobe so well satisfied that I shall determine for you, that I must give itto Damia, who stands with so much diffidence and fear, after showing anequal merit to what she pretends to. Therefore, Clidamira, you are a'pretty'; but, Damia, you are a 'very pretty' lady. For, " said I, "beauty loses its force, if not accompanied with modesty. She that has ahumble opinion of herself, will have everybody's applause, because shedoes not expect it; while the vain creature loses approbation throughtoo great a sense of deserving it. "

From my own Apartment, June 27. 

Being of a very spare and hective constitution, I am forced to makefrequent journeys of a mile or two for fresh air; and indeed by thislast, which was no further than the village of Chelsea, I am fartherconvinced of the necessity of travelling to know the world. For as it isusual with young voyagers, as soon as they land upon a shore, to begintheir accounts of the nature of the people, their soil, theirgovernment, their inclinations, and their passions, so really I fanciedI could give you an immediate description of this village, from the FiveFields, [342] where the robbers lie in wait, to the coffee-house wherethe _literati_ sit in council. A great ancestor of ours by the mother'sside, Mr. Justice Overdo (whose history is written by Ben Jonson), [343]met with more enormities by walking _incog. _ than he was capable ofcorrecting; and found great mortifications in observing also persons ofeminence, whom he before knew nothing of. Thus it fared with me, even ina place so near the town as this. When I came into thecoffee-house, [344] I had not time to salute the company, before my eyewas diverted by ten thousand gimcracks round the room and on theceiling. When my first astonishment was over, comes to me a sage of athin and meagre countenance; which aspect made me doubt, whether readingor fretting had made it so philosophic: but I very soon perceived him tobe of that sect which the ancients call Gingivistæ, [345] in ourlanguage, tooth-drawers. I immediately had a respect for the man; forthese practical philosophers go upon a very rational hypothesis, not tocure, but take away the part affected. My love of mankind made me verybenevolent to Mr. Salter, for such is the name of this eminent barberand antiquary. Men are usually, but unjustly, distinguished rather bytheir fortunes, than their talents, otherwise this personage would makea great figure in that class of men which I distinguish under the titleof Odd Fellows. But it is the misfortune of persons of great genius, tohave their faculties dissipated by attention to too many things at once. Mr. Salter is an instance of this: if he would wholly give himself up tothe string, [346] instead of playing twenty beginnings to tunes, he mightbefore he dies play "Roger de Caubly"[347] quite out. I heard him gothrough his whole round, and indeed I think he does play the "MerryChrist-Church Bells"[348] pretty justly; but he confessed to me, he didthat rather to show he was orthodox, than that he valued himself uponthe music itself. Or if he did proceed in his anatomy, why might not hehope in time to cut off legs, as well as draw teeth? The particularityof this man put me into a deep thought, whence it should proceed, thatof all the lower order barbers should go farther in hitting theridiculous, than any other set of men. Watermen brawl, cobblers sing;but why must a barber be for ever a politician, a musician, ananatomist, a poet, and a physician? The learned Vossus says, [349] hisbarber used to comb his head in iambics. And indeed in all ages, one ofthis useful profession, this order of cosmetic philosophers, has beencelebrated by the most eminent hands. You see the barber in "DonQuixote, "[350] is one of the principal characters in the history, whichgave me satisfaction in the doubt, why Don Saltero writ his name with aSpanish termination: for he is descended in a right line, not from JohnTradescant, [351] as he himself asserts, but from that memorablecompanion of the Knight of Mancha. And I hereby certify all the worthycitizens who travel to see his rarities, that his double-barrelledpistols, targets, coats of mail, his sclopeta, [352] and sword ofToledo, [353] were left to his ancestor by the said Don Quixote, and bythe said ancestor to all his progeny down to Don Saltero. Though I gothus far in favour of Don Saltero's great merit, I cannot allow aliberty he takes of imposing several names (without my licence) on thecollections he has made, to the abuse of the good people of England; oneof which is particularly calculated to deceive religious persons, to thegreat scandal of the well disposed, and may introduce heterodoxopinions. He shows you a straw hat, which I know to be made by MadgePeskad, within three miles of Bedford; and tells you, it is PontiusPilate's wife's chamber-maid's sister's hat. To my knowledge of thisvery hat, it may be added, that the covering of straw was never usedamong the Jews, since it was demanded of them to make bricks without it. Therefore this is really nothing, but under the specious pretence oflearning and antiquity, to impose upon the world. There are other thingswhich I cannot tolerate among his rarities; as, the china figure of alady in the glass case; the Italian engine for the imprisonment of thosewho go abroad with it: both which I hereby order to be taken down, orelse he may expect to have his letters patents for making punchsuperseded, be debarred wearing his muff next winter, or ever coming toLondon without his wife. [354] It may perhaps be thought I have dwelt toolong upon the affairs of this operator; but I desire the reader toremember, that it is my way to consider men as they stand in merit, andnot according to their fortune or figure; and if he is in a coffee-houseat the reading hereof, let him look round, and he will find there may bemore characters drawn in this account than that of Don Saltero; for halfthe politicians about him, he may observe, are, by their place innature, of the class of tooth-drawers. 

[Footnote 337: See p. 273, note. ]

[Footnote 338: A small violin or fiddle. See No. 160. ]

[Footnote 339: A dancing-master, who either was French, or pretended tobe so. See No. 109. ]

[Footnote 340: A song of Waller's begins:

 "Behold the brand of beauty tost! See, how the motion doth dilate the flame!" (Dobson). ]

[Footnote 341: The rigadoon was a dance for two persons. Cf. _Guardian_, No. 154: "We danced a rigadoon together. "]

[Footnote 342: On the site of Eaton and Belgrave Squares. See_Spectator_, No. 137: "The Five Fields towards Chelsea. "]

[Footnote 343: In "Bartholomew Fair, " act ii. Sc. I. Overdo went to theFair in disguise, and being mistaken for a cutpurse, was well beaten. ]

[Footnote 344: Salter, a barber, opened a coffee-house in Cheyne Walk, Chelsea, in 1695. Sir Harry Sloane, whose servant he had been, gave himsome curiosities to start a museum. Others, including Admiral Munden andhis fellow-officers, added to the collection, and the first catalogueappeared in 1729. The more startling curiosities were, of course, notgenuine. The remains of the collection were sold in 1799 for about £50. A view of Salter's house will be found in Timbs' "Clubs and Club Life inLondon. " Verses of a more or less coarse nature by Don Saltero appearednot unfrequently in the "British Apollo, " in 1709. ]

[Footnote 345: From "gingiva, " the gum. ]

[Footnote 346: Salter played very badly on the fiddle. ]

[Footnote 347: "Sir Roger de Coverley, " the famous country-dance tune. ]

[Footnote 348: By Dr. Henry Aldrich, Dean of Christ Church, Oxford, where Steele matriculated. ]

[Footnote 349: "De Poematum cantu, et viribus Rythmi, " 1673. ]

[Footnote 350: Master Nicholas. See "Don Quixote, " chap. V. ]

[Footnote 351: There were two John Tradescants (father and son) whocollected objects of natural history. Their collection formed thefoundation of the Ashmolean Museum at Oxford. The "MuseumTradescantianum: or, A Collection of Rarities preserved at SouthLambeth, near London, by John Tradescant, " contains interestingportraits of both John Tradescant, senior, and John Tradescant, junior, as well as a plate of the Tradescant arms. ]

[Footnote 352: A sclopeta or sclopetta was a hand-gun used bySpaniards. ]

[Footnote 353: Toledo was famous for its sword-blades. ]

[Footnote 354: Salter had an old grey muff, which he clapped constantlyto his nose, and by which he was distinguishable at the distance of aquarter of a mile. His wife was none of the best, being much addicted toscolding. -(Nichols. )]

No. 35. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, June 28_, to _Thursday, June 30_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Grecian Coffee-house, June 28. 

There is a habit or custom which I have put my patience to the utmoststretch to have suffered so long, because several of my intimate friendsare in the guilt; and that is, the humour of taking snuff, and lookingdirty about the mouth by way of ornament. My method is to dive to thebottom of a sore before I pretend to apply a remedy. For this reason, Isat by an eminent story-teller and politician who takes half an ounce infive seconds, and has mortgaged a pretty tenement near the town, merelyto improve and dung his brains with this prolific powder. I observedthis gentleman the other day in the midst of a story diverted from it bylooking at something at a distance, and I softly hid his box. But hereturns to his tale, and looking for his box, he cries, "And so, sir--"Then when he should have taken a pinch, "As I was saying, " says he--"Hasnobody seen my box?" His friend beseeches him to finish his narration. Then he proceeds, "And so, sir--Where can my box be?" Then, turning tome, "Pray, sir, did you see my box?" "Yes, sir, " said I, "I took it tosee how long you could live without it. " He resumes his tale; and I tooknotice, that his dulness was much more regular and fluent than before. Apinch supplied the place of, "As I was saying, " "And so, sir"; and hewent on currently enough in that style which the learned call theinsipid. This observation easily led me into a philosophic reason fortaking snuff, which is done only to supply with sensations the want ofreflection. This I take to be an Ἕυρηκα [Heurêka], a nostrum; upon whichI hope to receive the thanks of this board. For as it is natural to lifta man's hand to a sore, when you fear anything coming at you; so when aperson feels his thoughts are run out, and has no more to say, it is asnatural to supply his weak brain with powder at the nearest place ofaccess, viz. , the nostrils. This is so evident, that nature suggests theuse according to the indigence of the persons who use this medicine, without being prepossessed with the force of fashion or custom. Forexample; the native Hibernians, who are reckoned not much unlike theancient Bœotians, take this specific for emptiness in the head, ingreater abundance than any other nation under the sun. The learnedSotus, as sparing as he is in his words, would be still more silent ifit were not for this powder. But however low and poor the taking snuffargues a man to be in his own stock of thought, or means to employ hisbrains and his fingers, yet there is a poorer creature in the world thanhe, and this is a borrower of snuff; a fellow that keeps no box of hisown, but is always asking others for a pinch. Such poor rogues put mealways in mind of a common phrase among schoolboys when they arecomposing their exercise, who run to an upper scholar, and cry, "Praygive me a little sense. " But of all things, commend me to the ladies whoare got into this pretty help to discourse. [355] I have been this threeyears persuading Sagissa[356] to leave it off; but she talks so much, and is so learned, that she is above contradiction. However, anaccident the other day brought that about, which my eloquence nevercould accomplish: she had a very pretty fellow in her closet, who ranthither to avoid some company that came to visit her. She made an excuseto go in to him for some implement they were talking of. Her eagergallant snatched a kiss; but being unused to snuff, some grains from offher upper lip made him sneeze aloud, which alarmed the visitants, andhas made a discovery, that profound reading, very much intelligence, anda general knowledge of who and who's together, cannot fill up her vacanthours so much, but that she is sometimes obliged to descend toentertainments less intellectual. 

White's Chocolate-house, June 29. 

I know no manner of news for this place, but that Cynthio, having beenlong in despair for the inexorable Clarissa, lately resolved to fall inlove the good old way of bargain and sale, and has pitched upon a veryagreeable young woman. [357] He will undoubtedly succeed; for he accostsher in a strain of familiarity, without breaking through the deferencethat is due to woman whom a man would choose for his life. I have hardlyever heard rough truth spoken with a better grace than in this hisletter. [358]

"MADAM, "I writ to you on Saturday by Mrs. Lucy, and give you this trouble tourge the same request I made then, which was, that I may be admitted towait upon you. I should be very far from desiring this, if it were atransgression of the most severe rules to allow it: I know you are verymuch above the little arts which are frequent in your sex, of givingunnecessary torments to their admirers; therefore hope, you'll do somuch justice to the generous passion I have for you, as to let me havean opportunity of acquainting you upon what motives I pretend to yourgood opinion. I shall not trouble you with my sentiments, till I knowhow they will be received; and as I know no reason why difference of sexshould make our language to each other differ from the ordinary rules ofright reason, I shall affect plainness and sincerity in my discourse toyou, as much as other lovers do perplexity and rapture. Instead ofsaying, 'I shall die for you, ' I profess I should be glad to lead mylife with you: you are as beautiful, as witty, as prudent, and asgood-humoured, as any woman breathing; but I must confess to you, Iregard all these excellences as you will please to direct them, for myhappiness or misery. With me, madam, the only lasting motive to love isthe hope of its becoming mutual. I beg of you to let Mrs. Lucy send meword when I may attend you. I promise you, I'll talk of nothing butindifferent things; though at the same time I know not how I shallapproach you in the tender moment of first seeing you, after thisdeclaration, of, "Madam, "Your most obedient, "And most faithful

"Humble Servant, &c. "

Will's Coffee-house, June 29. 

Having taken a resolution when plays are acted next winter by an entiregood company, to publish observations from time to time on theperformance of the actors, I think it but just to give an abstract ofthe law of action, for the help of the less learned part of theaudience, that they may rationally enjoy so refined and instructive apleasure as a just representation of human life. The great errors inplaying are admirably well exposed in Hamlet's direction to theactors[359] who are to play in his supposed tragedy; by which we shallform our future judgments on their behaviour, and for that reason youhave the discourse as follows:

"Speak the speech as I pronounce it to you, trippingly on the tongue;but if you mouth it, as many of our players do, I had as lieve thetown-crier had spoke my lines: nor do not saw the air too much with yourhand thus; but use all gently: for in the very torrent, tempest, and, asI may say, the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget atemperance that may give it smoothness. Oh! it offends me to the soul, to see a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, tovery rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who (for the most part)are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and noise. I couldhave such a fellow whipped for overdoing termagant: it out-Herods Herod. Be not too tame neither; but let your own discretion be your tutor: suitthe action to the word, the word to the action; with this specialobservance, that you overstep not the modesty of nature; for anything sooverdone, is from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the firstand now, was, and is, to hold as it were the mirror up to Nature; toshow Virtue her own feature; scorn her own image; and the very age andbody of the time its form and pressure. Now this overdone, or come tardyoff, though it make the unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judiciousgrieve. The censures of which one, must, in your allowance, oversway awhole theatre of others. Oh! there be players, that I have seen play, and heard others praise, and that highly (not to speak it profanely), that neither having the accent of Christian, Pagan, or Norman, have sostrutted and bellowed, that I have thought some of Nature's journeymenhad made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity soabominably. This should be reformed altogether; and let those that playyour clowns, speak no more than is set down for them: for there be ofthem that will of themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barrenspectators to laugh too; though in the meantime, some necessary questionof the play be then to be considered; that is villanous, and shows amost pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it. "

From my own Apartment, June 29. 

It would be a very great obligation, and an assistance to my treatiseupon Punning, [360] if any one would please to inform in what class, among the learned who play with words, to place the author of thefollowing letter. [361]

"Sir, "Not long since you were pleased to give us a chimerical account of thefamous family of Staffs, [362] from whence I suppose you would insinuate, that it is the most ancient and numerous house in all Europe. But Ipositively deny that it is either; and wonder much at your audaciousproceedings in this matter, since it is well known, that our mostillustrious, most renowned, and most celebrated Roman family of Ix, hasenjoyed the precedency to all others from the reign of good old Saturn. I could say much to the defamation and disgrace of your family; as, thatyour relations Distaff and Broomstaff were both inconsiderate meanpersons, one spinning, the other sweeping the streets, for their dailybread. But I forbear to vent my spleen on objects so much beneath myindignation. I shall only give the world a catalogue of my ancestors, and leave them to determine which hath hitherto had, and which for thefuture ought to have, the preference. 

"First then comes the most famous and popular Lady Meretrix, parent ofthe fertile family of Bellatrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix, Famulatrix, Coctrix, Ornatrix, Sarcinatrix, Fextrix, Balneatrix, Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, Debitrix, Creditrix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix, Adsectrix, Assectatrix, Palpatrix, Præceptrix, Pistrix. 

"I am yours, "ELIZ. POTATRIX. "

St. James's Coffee-house, June 29. 

Letters from Brussels of the 2nd of July, N. S. , say, that the Duke ofMarlborough and Prince Eugene having received advice, that the MarshalVillars had drawn a considerable body out of the garrison of Tournay toreinforce his army, marched towards that place, and came before it earlyin the morning of the 27th. As soon as they came into that ground, thePrince of Nassau was sent with a strong detachment to take post at St. Amand; and at the same time my Lord Orkney received orders to possesshimself of Mortagne; both which were successfully executed; whereby weare masters of the Scheldt and the Scarp. Eight men were drawn out ofeach troop of dragoons and company of foot in the garrison of Tournay, to make up the reinforcement which was ordered to join Marshal Villars;but upon advice that the Allies were marching towards Tournay, theyendeavoured to return into the town; but were intercepted by the Earl ofOrkney, by whom that whole body was killed or taken. These letters add, that 1200 dragoons (each horseman carrying a foot-soldier behind him)were detached from Mons to throw themselves into Tournay; but uponappearance of a great body of horse of the Allies, retired towardsCondé. We hear, that the garrison does not consist of more than 3500men. Of the sixty battalions designed to be employed in this siege, seven [_sic_] are English, viz. , two of Guards, and the regiments ofArgyle, Temple, Evans and Meredith. 

[Footnote 355: See Nos. 79, 140; and Swift's "Journal to Stella, " Nov. 3, 1711. A correspondent begged the _Spectator_ (No. 344) to "takenotice of an impertinent custom the women, the fine women, have latelyfallen into, of taking snuff. "]

[Footnote 356: It has been suggested that Steele here alludes to Mrs. Dela Rivière Manley. ]

[Footnote 357: Lord Hinchinbroke married Elizabeth, only daughter ofAlexander Popham, Esq. See Nos. 1, 5, 22. ]

[Footnote 358: This was one of Steele's own letters to Miss Scurlock. (See "Correspondence, " 1809, vol. I. P. 93. ) "Mrs. Lucy" is "Mrs. Warren" in the original. ]

[Footnote 359: "Hamlet, " act iii. Sc. 2. ]

[Footnote 360: See No. 32. ]

[Footnote 361: This letter is printed in Scott's edition of Swift'sworks. ]

[Footnote 362: See No. II. ]

No. 36. [? STEELE. [363]

By Mrs. JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF. 

From _Thursday, June 30_, to _Saturday, July 2_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

From our own Apartment, June 30. 

Many affairs calling my brother into the country, the care of ourintelligence with the town is left to me for some time; therefore youmust expect the advices you meet with in this paper to be such as moreimmediately and naturally fall under the consideration of our sex:history therefore written by a woman, you will easily imagine to consistof love in all its forms, both in the abuse of, and obedience to thatpassion. As to the faculty of writing itself, it will not, it is hoped, be demanded, that style and ornament shall be so much consulted, astruth and simplicity; which latter qualities we may more justly pretendto beyond the other sex. While therefore the administration of ouraffairs is in my hands, you shall from time to time have an exactaccount of all false lovers, and their shallow pretences for breakingoff; of all termagant wives who make wedlock a yoke; of men who affectthe entertainments and manners suitable only to our sex, and women whopretend to the conduct of such affairs as are only within the provinceof men. It is necessary further to advertise the reader, that the usualplaces of resort being utterly out of my province or observation, Ishall be obliged frequently to change the dates of places, asoccurrences come into my way. The following letter I lately receivedfrom Epsom. [364]

Epsom, June 28. 

"It is now almost three weeks since what you writ about happened in thisplace: the quarrel between my friends did not run so high as I find youraccounts have made it. The truth of the fact you shall have veryfaithfully. You are to understand, that the persons concerned in thisscene were, Lady Autumn, and Lady Springly:[365] Autumn is a person ofgood breeding, formality, and a singular way practised in the last age;and Lady Springly, a modern impertinent of our sex, who affects asimproper familiarity, as the other does distance. Lady Autumn knows to ahair's-breadth where her place is in all assemblies and conversations;but Springly neither gives nor takes place of anybody, but understandsthe place to signify no more, than to have room enough to be at easewherever she comes. Thus while Autumn takes the whole of this life toconsist in understanding punctilio and decorum, Springly takeseverything to be becoming which contributes to her ease andsatisfaction. These heroines have married two brothers, both knights. Springly is the spouse of the elder, who is a baronet; and Autumn, beinga rich widow, has taken the younger, and her purse endowed him with anequal fortune and knighthood of the same order. This jumble of titles, you need not doubt, has been an aching torment to Autumn, who took placeof the other on no pretence, but her carelessness and disregard ofdistinction. This secret occasion of envy broiled long in the breast ofAutumn; but no opportunity of contention on that subject happening, keptall things quiet till the accident, of which you demand an account. 

"It was given out among all the gay people of this place, that on the9th instant several damsels, swift of foot, were to run for a suit ofhead-clothes at the Old Wells. Lady Autumn on this occasion invitedSpringly to go with her in her coach to see the race. When they came tothe place where the governor of Epsom and all his court of citizens wereassembled, as well as a crowd of people of all orders, a brisk youngfellow addresses himself to the younger of the ladies, viz. , Springly, and offers her his service to conduct her into the music-room. Springlyaccepts the compliment, and is led triumphantly through the bowingcrowd, while Autumn is left among the rabble, and has much ado to getback into her coach; but she did it at last: and as it is usual to seeby the horses my lady's present disposition, she orders John to whipfuriously home to her husband; where, when she enters, down she sits, began to unpin her hood, and lament her foolish fond heart to marry intoa family where she was so little regarded, she that might--Here shestops; then rises up and stamps, and sits down again. Her gentle knightmade his approaches with a supple beseeching gesture. 'My dear, ' saidhe--'Tell me no dears, ' replied Autumn; in the presence of the governorand all the merchants; 'What will the world say of a woman that hasthrown herself away at this rate?' Sir Thomas withdrew, and knew itwould not be long a secret to him; as well as that experience told him, he that marries a fortune, is of course guilty of all faults against hiswife, let them be committed by whom they will. But Springly, an hour ortwo after, returns from the Wells, and finds the whole company together. Down she sat, and a profound silence ensued. You know a premeditatedquarrel usually begins and works up with the words, 'Some people. ' Thesilence was broken by Lady Autumn, who began to say, 'There are somepeople who fancy, that if some people--' Springly immediately takes herup; 'There are some people who fancy, if other people--' Autumnrepartees, 'People may give themselves airs; but other people, perhaps, who make less ado, may be, perhaps, as agreeable as people who setthemselves out more. ' All the other people at the table sat mute, whilethese two people, who were quarrelling, went on with the use of the word'people, ' instancing the very accidents between them, as if they keptonly in distant hints. 'Therefore, ' says Autumn, reddening, 'there aresome people who will go abroad in other people's coaches, and leavethose, with whom they went, to shift for themselves; and if, perhaps, those people have married the younger brother, yet, perhaps, he may bebeholden to those people for what he is. ' Springly smartly answers, 'People may bring so much ill humour into a family, as people may repenttheir receiving their money'; and goes on--'Everybody is notconsiderable enough to give her uneasiness. ' Upon this, Autumn comes upto her, and desired her to kiss her, and never to see her again; whichher sister refusing, my lady gave her a box on the ear. Springlyreturns; 'Ay, ay, ' said she, 'I knew well enough you meant me by your"some people, "' and gives her another on the other side. To it they wentwith most masculine fury: each husband ran in. The wives immediatelyfell upon their husbands, and tore periwigs and cravats. The companyinterposed; when (according to the slip-knot of matrimony, which makesthem return to one another when any put in between) the ladies and theirhusbands fell upon all the rest of the company; and having beat alltheir friends and relations out of the house, came to themselves timeenough to know, there was no bearing the jest of the place after theseadventures, and therefore marched off the next day. It is said, thegovernor has sent several joints of mutton, and has proposed diversdishes very exquisitely dressed, to bring them down again. From hisaddress and knowledge in roast and boiled, all our hopes of the returnof this good company depend. I am, "Dear Jenny, "Your ready Friend

"And Servant, "MARTHA TATLER. "

White's Chocolate-house, June 30. 

This day appeared here a figure of a person, whose services to the fairsex have reduced him to a kind of existence, for which there is no name. If there be a condition between life and death, without being absolutelydead or living, his state is that. His aspect and complexion in hisrobust days gave him the illustrious title of Africanus:[366] but it isnot only from the warm climates in which he has served, nor from thedisasters which he has suffered, that he deserves the same appellationwith that renowned Roman; but the magnanimity with which he appears inhis last moments, is what gives him the undoubted character of Hero. Cato stabbed himself, and Hannibal drank poison; but our Africanus livesin the continual puncture of aching bones and poisoned juices. The oldheroes fled from torments by death, and this modern lives in death andtorments, with a heart wholly bent upon a supply for remaining in them. An ordinary spirit would sink under his oppressions; but he makes anadvantage of his very sorrow, and raises an income from his diseases. Long has this worthy been conversant in bartering, and knows, that whenstocks are lowest, it is the time to buy. Therefore, with much prudenceand tranquillity, he thinks, that now he has not a bone sound, but athousand nodous parts for which the anatomists have not words, and morediseases than the College ever heard of, it is the only time to purchasean annuity for life. Sir Thomas[367] told me, it was an entertainmentmore surprising and pleasant than can be imagined, to see an inhabitantof neither world without hand to lift, or leg to move, scarce tongue toutter his meaning, so keen upon biting the whole world, and makingbubbles at his exit. Sir Thomas added, that he would have bought twelveshillings a year of him, but that he feared there was some trick in it, and believed him already dead: "What!" says that knight, "is Mr. Partridge, whom I met just now going on both his legs firmer than I can, allowed to be quite dead; and shall Africanus, without one limb that cando its office, be pronounced alive?" What heightened the tragi-comedy ofthis market for annuities was, that the observation of it provokedMonoculus[368] (who is the most eloquent of all men) to many excellentreflections, which he spoke with the vehemence and language both of agamester and an orator. "When I cast, " said that delightful speaker, "myeye upon thee, thou unaccountable Africanus, I cannot but call myself asunaccountable as thou art; for certainly we were born to show whatcontradictions nature is pleased to form in the same species. Here am I, able to eat, to drink, to sleep, and do all acts of nature, exceptbegetting my like; and yet by an unintelligible force of spleen andfancy, I every moment imagine I am dying. It is utter madness in thee toprovide for supper; for I'll bet you ten to one, you don't live tillhalf an hour after four; and yet I am so distracted as to be in fearevery moment, though I'll lay ten to three, I drink three pints of burntclaret at your funeral three nights hence. After all, I envy thee; thouwho dying hast no sense of death, art happier than one in healththat[369] always fears it. " The knight had gone on, but that a third manended the scene by applauding the knight's eloquence and philosophy, ina laughter too violent for his own constitution, as much as he mockedthat of Africanus and Monoculus. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 1. 

This day arrived three mails from Holland, with advices relating to theposture of affairs in the Low Countries, which say, that the Confederatearmy extends from Luchin, on the causeway between Tournay and Lisle, toEpain near Mortagne on the Scheldt. The Marshal Villars remains in hiscamp at Lens; but it is said, he detached ten thousand men under thecommand of the Chevalier de Luxembourg, with orders to form a camp atCrepin on the Haine, between Condé and St. Guillain, where he is to bejoined by the Elector of Bavaria with a body of troops, and after theirconjunction, to attempt to march into Brabant. But they write fromBrussels, that the Duke of Marlborough having it equally in his power tomake detachments to the same parts, they are under no apprehensions fromthese reports for the safety of their country. They further add fromBrussels, that they have good authority for believing that the Frenchtroops under the conduct of Marshal de Bezons are retiring out ofSpain. [370]

[Footnote 363: Nichols argued that this and the two following numberswere by Addison. (1) At the end of No. 37 there is a list of errata forthe preceding number. It was Addison's frequent practice to make verbalalterations in a preceding paper, and this Steele never did, except inrare cases, or where there was a positive mistake. (2) All the threepapers are _superscribed_, as Addison's often were, and appear upon theface of them, to be of the nature, and in the number of those, for whichSteele stood sponsor, and was very patiently traduced and calumniated, as he acknowledges to Congreve, in the Dedication prefixed to "TheDrummer. " There is nothing in the style or manner of any of the threethat appears incongruous with such a supposition; and the nature oftheir principal contents seems to support it. They consist chiefly ofpleasantries and oblique strokes, apparently on persons of fashion, inthat age, of both sexes. It appears from the Dedication to "TheDrummer, " that Steele had Addison's direct injunctions to hide paperswhich he never did declare to be Addison's. The case, in short, seems tobe, that as, as Steele says, there are communications in the course ofthis work, which Addison's modesty, so there are likewise others, whichAddison's prudence, "would never have admitted to come into daylight, but under such a shelter. " According to the usual rule where there isuncertainty, Steele's name is placed at the head of the papers in thisedition. Probably he was responsible in any case for part of thecontents of each of these numbers. ]

[Footnote 364: Epsom was frequented for its mineral waters, and was alsoa favourite holiday resort. "At the Crown Coffee-house, behind the RoyalExchange, fresh Epsom water, with the rest of the purging waters, at 2d. Per quart, and sold both winter and summer, and Epsom salt. " (See"British Apollo, " vol. Iii. No. 15, 1710, and "Post Man, " June 11, 1700. ) "The New Wells at Epsom, with variety of raffling-shops, abilliard-table, and a bowling-green, and attended with a new set ofmusic, are now open, " &c. (_Flying Post_, Aug. 4-6, 1709. ) The new Wellswere opened on Easter Monday, 1709 (_Daily Courant_, April 23, 1709). Wecan form some idea of Epsom some years before, with its wells andbowling-green, from Shadwell's play, "Epsom Wells, " 1673. See also No. 7. ]

[Footnote 365: On July 8, 1709, Peter Wentworth wrote to Lord Raby: "Ihave not sent you the _Tatler_ of last Saturday, because I was told'twas dull, but that persons judgement I shall take no more; for havingsince read it I think it diverting enough, the news from Epsom is almostmatter of fact, wch makes the jest the better; the Ladys are city ladys, named Turners" ("Wentworth Papers, " p. 93). This is confirmed by the MS. Annotator mentioned in No. 4. ]

[Footnote 366: "I like the description of Africanus, wch is Sir ScipioHill . . . Sir Scipio Hill with his new project of getting money occasionssome diversion and talk at White's. You may have heard for this longwhile he was dieing of the ----; he now come abroad and look a divel, orat least a sad _memento mori_. He gives forescore guineas to receive tenguineas a quarter for his life, Sir James of the Peak is his agent, andruns about offering it all that will take. Boscowen has took it, and twoor three more, who are of opinion he will not live a month. Those he hadmade his heirs does not approve of this whim, for he's resolved todispose of all his ready money this way if he can find substantial foolsenough to take it; but the crack begins to run as if he may live a greatwhile for all he looks so ill, for he has recovered his voice to amiracle" (Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, July 1 and 8, 1709; "WentworthPapers, " pp. 92-3). ]

[Footnote 367: The waiter. See No. 16. ]

[Footnote 368: Said to be Sir Humphrey Monoux, Bart. , who was electedM. P. For Tavistock in 1728, and for Stockbridge in 1734. He succeeded tothe baronetage in 1707, and died without issue in 1757. ]

[Footnote 369: "Thou that hast no sense of death, art happier than onethat" (folio; altered in Errata in No. 37). ]

[Footnote 370: "This paper, with a blank leaf to write business on, maybe had of J. Morphew, near Stationers'-hall" (folio). ]

No. 37. [?STEELE. [371]

From _Saturday, July 2_, to _Tuesday, July 5_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 2. 

It may be thought very unaccountable, that I, [372] who can never besupposed to go to White's, should pretend to talk to you of mattersproper for, or in the style of, that place. But though I do not go tothese public haunts, I receive visits from those who do; and for allthey pretend so much to the contrary, they are as talkative as our sex, and as much at a loss to entertain the present company, withoutsacrificing the last, as we ourselves. This reflection has led me intothe consideration of the use of speech; and made me look over in mymemory all my acquaintance of both sexes, to know to which I may morejustly impute the sin of superfluous discourse, with regard toconversation, and not entering into it as it respects religion. Iforesee my acquaintance will immediately, upon starting this subject, ask me, how I shall celebrate Mrs. Alse Copswood, [373] the Yorkshirehuntress, who is come to town lately, and moves as if she were on hernag, and going to take a five-bar gate; and is as loud as if she werefollowing her dogs. I can easily answer that; for she is as soft asDamon, in comparison of her brother-in-law Tom Bellfrey, [374] who is themost accomplished man in this kingdom for all gentlemanlike activitiesand accomplishments. It is allowed, that he is a professed enemy to theItalian performers in music. But then for our own native manner, according to the customs and known usages of our island, he is to bepreferred, for the generality of the pleasure he bestows, much abovethose fellows, [375] though they sing to full theatres. For what is atheatrical voice to that of a fox-hunter? I have been at a musicalentertainment in an open field, where it amazed me to hear to whatpitches the chief masters would reach. There was a meeting near our seatin Staffordshire, and the most eminent of all the counties of Englandwere at it. How wonderful was the harmony between men and dogs! RobinCartail of Bucks was to answer to Jowler; Mr. Tinbreast of Cornwall wasappointed to open with Sweetlips, and Beau Slimber, a Londoner, undertook to keep up with Trips, a whelp just set in: Tom Bellfrey andRingwood were coupled together, to fill the cry on all occasions, and bein at the death of the fox, hare, or stag; for which both the dog andthe man were excellently suited, and loved one another, and were as muchtogether as Banister and King. When Jowler first alarmed the field, Cartail repeated every note; Sweetlips' treble succeeded, and shook thewood; Tinbreast echoed a quarter of a mile beyond it. We were soon afterall at a loss, till we rid up, and found Trips and Slimber at a defaultin half-notes: but the day and the tune was recovered by Tom Bellfreyand Ringwood, to the great joy of us all, though they drowned everyother voice: for Bellfrey carries a note four furlongs, three rood, andsix paces, farther than any other in England. But I fear the mention ofthis will be thought a digression from my purpose about speech: but Ianswer, No. Since this is used where speech rather should be employed, it may come into consideration in the same chapter: for Mr. Bellfreybeing at a visit where I was, viz. , his cousin's (Lady Dainty's) inSoho, was asked, what entertainments they had in the country? NowBellfrey is very ignorant, and much a clown; but confident withal. In aword, he struck up a fox-chase: Lady Dainty's dog, Mr. Sippet, as shecalls him, started and jumped out of his lady's lap, and fell a barking. Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbouring parishes into thesquare. Never was woman in such confusion as that delicate lady. Butthere was no stopping her kinsman. A room full of ladies fell into themost violent laughter: my lady looked as if she was shrieking; Mr. Sippet in the middle of the room, breaking his heart with barking, butall of us unheard. As soon as Bellfrey became silent, up gets my lady, and takes him by the arm to lead him off: Bellfrey was in his boots. Asshe was hurrying him away, his spurs takes hold of her petticoat; hiswhip throws down a cabinet of china: he cries, "What! are your crocksrotten? Are your petticoats ragged? A man can't walk in your house fortrincums. " Every county of Great Britain has one hundred or more of thissort of fellows, who roar instead of speaking. Therefore if it be true, that we women are also given to greater fluency of words than isnecessary, sure one that disturbs but a room or a family is more to betolerated, than one who draws together parishes and counties, andsometimes (with an estate that might make him the blessing and ornamentof the world around him) has no other view and ambition, but to be ananimal above dogs and horses, without the relish of any one enjoyment, which is peculiar to the faculties of human nature. But I know it willhere be said, that talking of mere country squires at this rate, is, asit were, to write against Valentine or Orson. To prove anything againstthe race of men, you must take them as they are adorned with education, as they live in Courts, or have received instructions in colleges. 

But I was so full of my late entertainment by Mr. Bellfrey, that I mustdefer pursuing this subject to another day; and waive the properobservations upon the different offenders in this kind, some by profoundeloquence, on small occasions, others by degrading speech upon greatcircumstances. Expect therefore to hear of the whisperer withoutbusiness, the laugher without wit, the complainer without receivinginjuries, and a very large crowd, which I shall not forestall, who arecommon (though not commonly observed) impertinents, whose tongues aretoo voluble for their brains, and are the general despisers of us women, though we have their superiors, the men of sense, for our servants. [376]

St. James's Coffee-house, July 4. 

There has arrived no mail since our last; so that we have no manner offoreign news, except we were to give you, for such, the manyspeculations which are on foot concerning what was imported by the lastadvices. There are, it seems, sixty battalions and seventeen squadronsappointed to serve in the siege of Tournay; the garrison of which placeconsists but of eleven battalions and four squadrons. Letters of the29th of the last month from Berlin have brought advice, that the Kingsof Denmark, Prussia, and his Majesty Augustus, were within few days tocome to an interview at Potsdam. These letters mention, that two Polishprinces of the family of the Sapicha and Lubermirsky, lately arrivedfrom Paris, confirm the reports of the misery in France for want ofprovisions, and give a particular instance of it, which is, that on theday Monsieur Rouillé returned to Court, the common people gathered incrowds about the Dauphin's coach, crying, "Peace and bread, bread andpeace. "

Mrs. Distaff has taken upon her, while she writes this paper, to turnher thoughts wholly to the service of her own sex, and to proposeremedies against the greatest vexations attending female life. She hasfor this end written a small treatise concerning the second word, withan appendix on the use of a reply, very useful to all such as aremarried to persons either ill-bred or ill-natured. There is in thistract a digression for the use of virgins concerning the words, "Iwill. "

A gentlewoman who has a very delicate ear, wants a maid who can whisper, and help her in the government of her family. If the said servant canclear-starch, lisp, and tread softly, she shall have suitableencouragement in her wages. 

[Footnote 371: See note to No. 36. ]

[Footnote 372: Jenny Distaff. ]

[Footnote 373: The Jacobite Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sharpe, whodied in 1713. See _Examiner_, vol. Iv. No. 22. ]

[Footnote 374: Dr. Blackall (1654-1716), who was made Bishop of Exeterin 1708. ]

[Footnote 375: The French Prophets, from the Cevennes. Dr. Blackall'ssermon against them was printed by order of the Queen. ]

[Footnote 376: The following article appeared only in the folio issue:--

Will's Coffee-house, July 3. 

A very ingenious gentleman was complaining this evening, that theplayers are grown so severe critics, that they would not take in hisplay, though it has as many fine things in it as any play that has beenwrit since the days of Dryden. He began his discourse about his playwith a preface. 

"There is, " said he, "somewhat (however we palliate it) in the veryframe and make of us, that subjects our minds to chagrin andirresolution on any emergency of time or place. The difficulty grows onour sickened imagination, under all the killing circumstances of dangerand disappointment. This we see, not only in the men of retirement andfancy, but in the characters of the men of action; with this onlydifference, the coward sees the danger, and sickens under it; the hero, warmed by the difficulty, dilates, and rises in proportion to that, andin some sort makes use of his very fears to disarm it. A remarkableinstance of this we have in the great Cæsar, when he came to theRubicon, and was entering upon a part, perhaps, the most hazardous heever bore (certainly the most ungrateful), a war with his countrymen. When his mind brooded over personal affronts, perhaps his anger burnedwith a desire of revenge. But when more serious reflections laid beforehim the hazard of the enterprise, with the dismal consequences whichwere likely to attend it, aggravated by a special circumstance, Whatfigure it would bear in the world, or how be excused to posterity. Whatshall he do?--His honour, which was his religion, bids him arm; and hesounds the inclinations of his party, by this set speech:

#_CÆSAR_ to his Party at the Rubicon. #

 Great Jove, attend, and thou my native soil, Safe in my triumphs, glutted in my spoil; Witness with what reluctance I oppose My arms to thine, secure of other foes. What passive breast can bear disgrace like mine? Traitor!--For this I conquered on the Rhine, Endured their ten years' drudgery in Gaul, Adjourned their fate, and saved the Capitol. I grew by every guilty triumph less; The crowd, when drunk with joy, their souls express, Impatient of the war, yet fear success. Brave actions dazzle with too bright a ray, Like birds obscene they chatter at the day; Giddy with rule, and valiant in debate, They throw the die of war, to save the state; And gods! to gild ingratitude with fame, Assume the patriot's, we the rebel's name. Farewell, my friends, your general forlorn, To your bare pity, and the public scorn, Must lay that honour and his laurel down, To serve the vain caprices of the gown; Exposed to all indignities, the brave Deserve of those they gloried but to save, To rods and axes!--No, the slaves can't dare Play with my grief, and tempt my last despair. This shall the honours which it won maintain, Or do me justice, ere I hug my chain. "

The reason for cancelling this article when these papers wererepublished in octavo, is obvious; for, being printed by Steele, itwould naturally be applied to the circumstances in which the Duke ofMarlborough was at that time: "The Duke having his commission under theGreat Seal, the order of the Queen was not sufficient to dissolve hispower. His friends advised him to assemble, by his authority as general, all the troops in London, in the different squares, and to takepossession of St. James's, and the person of the Queen. Oxford, apprisedof this design, suddenly called together the Cabinet Council. Though heprobably concealed his intelligence to prevent their fears, he told themof the necessity of superseding Marlborough under the Great Seal. Thisbusiness was soon despatched. His dismission in form was sent to theDuke. The Earl of Oxford, no stranger to the character of Marlborough, knew that he would not act against law, by assembling the troops. Thenatural diffidence of his disposition had made him unfit for enterprisesof danger, in a degree that furnished his enemies with insinuationsagainst his personal courage. "--(Macpherson's "State Papers, " quoted byNichols. )]

No. 38. [?STEELE. [377]

From _Tuesday, July 5_, to _Thursday, July 7, 1709. _

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, July 6. 

I find among my brother's papers the following letter verbatim, which Iwonder how he could suppress so long as he has, since it was sent himfor no other end, but to show the good effect his writings have alreadyhad upon the ill customs of the age. 

 "London, _June 23_. 

"SIR, "The end of all public papers ought to be the benefit and instruction, as well as the diversion of the readers: to which I see none so trulyconducive as your late performances; especially those tending to therooting out from amongst us that unchristianlike and bloody custom ofduelling; which, that you have already in some measure performed, willappear to the public in the following no less true than heroic story. 

"A noble gentleman of this city, who has the honour of serving hiscountry as major in the train-bands, being at that general mart ofstockjobbers called Jonathan's, [378] endeavouring to raise himself (asall men of honour ought) to the degree of colonel at least; it happenedthat he bought the 'bear'[379] of another officer, who, though notcommissioned in the army, yet no less eminently serves the public thanthe other, in raising the credit of the kingdom, by raising that of thestocks. However, having sold the 'bear, ' and words arising about thedelivery, the most noble major, no less scorning to be outwitted in thecoffee-house, than to run into the field, according to method, abusedthe other with the titles of, 'rogue, ' 'villain, ' 'bearskin-man, ' andthe like. Whereupon satisfaction was demanded, and accepted: so, forththe major marched, commanding his adversary to follow. To a mostspacious room in the sheriff's house, near the place of quarrel, theycome; where, having due regard to what you have lately published, theyresolved not to shed one another's blood in that barbarous manner youprohibited; yet, not willing to put up affronts without satisfaction, they stripped, and in decent manner fought full fairly with theirwrathful hands. The combat lasted a quarter of an hour; in which timevictory was often doubtful, and many a dry blow was strenuously laid onby each side, till the major finding his adversary obstinate, unwillingto give him further chastisement, with most shrill voice cried out, 'Iam satisfied, enough. ' Whereupon the combat ceased, and both werefriends immediately. 

"Thus the world may see, how necessary it is to encourage those men whomake it their business to instruct the people in everything necessaryfor their preservation. I am informed, a body of worthy citizens haveagreed on an address of thanks to you for what you have writ on theforegoing subject, whereby they acknowledge one of their highly esteemedofficers preserved from death. 

"Your humble Servant, "A. B. "

I fear the word "bear" is hardly to be understood among the politepeople; but I take the meaning to be, that one who ensures a real valueupon an imaginary thing, is said to sell a "bear, " and is the same thingas a promise among courtiers, or a vow between lovers. I have writ to mybrother to hasten to town; and hope, that printing the letters directedto him, which I knew not how to answer, will bring him speedily; andtherefore I add also the following:

 "_July 5_, 1709. 

"MR. BICKERSTAFF, You having hinted a generous intention of taking under yourconsideration the whisperers without business, and laughers withoutoccasion; as you tender the welfare of your country, I entreat you notto forget or delay so public-spirited a work. Now or never is the time. Many other calamities may cease with the war; but I dismally dread themultiplication of these mortals under the ease and luxuriousness of asettled peace, half the blessing of which may be destroyed by them. Their mistake lies certainly here, in a wretched belief, that theirmimicry passes for real business, or true wit. Dear sir, convince them, that it never was, is, or ever will be, either of them; nor ever did, does, or to all futurity ever can, look like either of them; but that itis the most cursed disturbance in nature, which is possible to beinflicted on mankind, under the noble definition of a sociable creature. In doing this, sir, you will oblige more humble servants than can findroom to subscribe their names. "

White's Chocolate-house, July 6. 

In pursuance of my last date from hence, I am to proceed on the accountsI promised of several personages among the men, whose conspicuousfortunes, or ambition in showing their follies, have exalted them abovetheir fellows: the levity of their minds is visible in their every wordand gesture, and there is not a day passes but puts me in mind of Mr. Wycherley's character of a coxcomb: "He is ugly all over with theaffectation of the fine gentleman. " Now though the women may put onsoftness in their looks, or affected severity, or impertinent gaiety, orpert smartness, their self-love and admiration cannot, under any ofthese disguises, appear so invincible as that of the men. You may easilytake notice, that in all their actions there is a secret approbation, either in the tone of their voice, the turn of their body, or cast oftheir eye, which shows that they are extremely in their own favour. Takeone of your men of business, he shall keep you half an hour with yourhat off, entertaining you with his consideration of that affair youspoke of to him last, till he has drawn a crowd that observes you inthis grimace. Then when he is public enough, he immediately runs intosecrets, and falls a whispering. You and he make breaks with adverbs;as, "But however, thus far"; and then you whisper again, and so on, tillthey who are about you are dispersed, and your busy man's vanity is nolonger gratified by the notice taken of what importance he is, and howinconsiderable you are; for your pretender to business is never insecret, but in public. There is my dear Lord Nowhere, of all men themost gracious and most obliging, the terror of all _valets-de-chambre_, whom he oppresses with good breeding, in inquiring for my good lord, andfor my good lady's health. This inimitable courtier will whisper a privycouncillor's lackey with the utmost goodness and condescension, to knowwhen they next sit; and is thoroughly taken up, and thinks he has a partin a secret, if he knows that there is a secret. "What it is, " he willwhisper you, "that time will discover"; then he shrugs, and calls youback again--"Sir, I need not say to you, that these things are not to bespoken of--and hark you, no names, I would not be quoted. " What adds tothe jest is, that his emptiness has its moods and seasons, and he willnot condescend to let you into these his discoveries, except he is invery good humour, or has seen somebody in fashion talk to you. He willkeep his nothing to himself, and pass by and overlook as well as thebest of them; not observing that he is insolent when he is gracious, andobliging when he is haughty. Show me a woman so inconsiderable as thisfrequent character. But my mind (now I am in) turns to many no lessobservable: thou dear Will Shoestring![380] I profess myself in lovewith thee: how shall I speak thee? How shall I address thee? How shall Idraw thee? Thou dear outside! Will you be combing your wig, [381] playingwith your box, or picking your teeth? Or choosest thou rather to bespeaking; to be speaking for thy only purpose in speaking, to show yourteeth? Rub them no longer, dear Shoestring: do not premeditate murder:do not for ever whiten: Oh! that for my quiet and his own they wererotten. But I will forget him, and give my hand to the courteous Umbra;he is a fine man indeed, but the soft creature bows below myapron-string before he takes it; but after the first ceremonies, he isas familiar as my physician, and his insignificancy makes me half readyto complain to him of all I would to my doctor. But he is so courteous, that he carries half the messages of ladies' ails in town to theirmidwives and nurses. He understands too the art of medicine as far as tothe cure of a pimple or a rash. On occasions of the like importance, heis the most assiduous of all men living, in consulting and searchingprecedents from family to family; and then he speaks of hisobsequiousness and diligence in the style of real services. If you sneerat him, and thank him for his great friendship, he bows, and says, "Madam, all the good offices in my power, while I have any knowledge orcredit, shall be at your service. " The consideration of so shallow abeing, and the intent application with which he pursues trifles, hasmade me carefully reflect upon that sort of men we usually call anImpertinent: and I am, upon mature deliberation, so far from beingoffended with him, that I am really obliged to him; for though he willtake you aside, and talk half an hour to you upon matters whollyinsignificant with the most solemn air, yet I consider, that thesethings are of weight in his imagination, and he thinks he iscommunicating what is for my service. If therefore it be a just rule tojudge of a man by his intention, according to the equity of goodbreeding, he that is impertinently kind or wise, to do you service, ought in return to have a proportionable place both in your affectionand esteem; so that the courteous Umbra deserves the favour of all hisacquaintance; for though he never served them, he is ever willing to doit, and believes he does it. But as impotent kindness is to be returnedwith all our abilities to oblige, so impotent malice is to be treatedwith all our force to depress it. For this reason Flyblow (who isreceived in all the families in town through the degeneracy and iniquityof their manners) is to be treated like a knave, though he is one of theweakest of fools: he has by rote, and at second-hand, all that can besaid of any man of figure, wit, and virtue in town. Name a man of worth, and this creature tells you the worst passage of his life. Speak of abeautiful woman, and this puppy will whisper the next man to him, thoughhe has nothing to say of her. He is a Fly that feeds on the sore part, and would have nothing to live on, if the whole body were in health. Youmay know him by the frequency of pronouncing the particle "but"; forwhich reason I never hear him spoke of with common charity, withoutusing my "but" against him: for a friend of mine saying the other day, Mrs. Distaff has wit, good humour, virtue, and friendship, this oafadded, "'But' she is not handsome. " Coxcomb! The gentleman was sayingwhat I was, not what I was not. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 6. 

The approaches before Tournay have been carried on with great success;and our advices from the camp before that place of the 11th instant say, that they had already made a lodgment on the glacis. Two hundred boatswere come up the Scheldt with a heavy artillery and ammunition, whichwould be employed in dismounting the enemy's defences, and raised on thebatteries the 15th. A great body of miners are summoned to the camp tocountermine the works of the enemy. We are convinced of the weakness ofthe garrison, by a certain account, that they called a council of war, to consult whether it was not advisable to march into the citadel, andleave the town defenceless. We are assured, that when the Confederatearmy was advancing towards the camp of Marshal Villars, that generaldespatched a courier to his master with a letter, giving an account oftheir approach, which concluded with the following words: "The daybegins to break, and your Majesty's army is already in order of battle. Before noon, I hope to have the honour of congratulating your Majesty onthe success of a great action; and you shall be very well satisfied withthe Marshal Villars. "

It is to be noted, that when any part of this paper appears dull, thereis a design in it. [382]

[Footnote 377: See note to No. 36. ]

[Footnote 378: A coffee-house in Change Alley. See _Spectator_, No. 1, and Mrs. Centlivre's "Bold Stroke for a Wife. "]

[Footnote 379: See No. 7. ]

[Footnote 380: Sir William Whitlocke, Knt. , Member for Oxon, Bencher ofthe Middle Temple. He is the learned knight mentioned in No. 43 (Percy). This is confirmed by the MS. Annotator mentioned in a note to No. 4. Nichols explains that Whitlocke is called Will Shoestring, for hissingularity in using shoe-strings, so long after the era ofshoe-buckles, which commenced in the reign of Charles II. , althoughordinary people, and such as affected plainness in their garb, worestrings in their shoes after that time. ]

[Footnote 381: "Combing the peruke, at the time when men of fashion worelarge wigs, was even at public places an act of gallantry. The combs, for this purpose, were of a very large size, of ivory or tortoise-shell, curiously chased and ornamented, and were carried in the pocket asconstantly as the snuff-box. At Court, on the Mall, and in the boxes, gentlemen conversed and combed their perukes "(Sir John Hawkins' "Hist, of Music, " vol. Iv. P. 447, note). Cf. Dryden's prologue to "Almanzorand Almahide":--

 "But as when vizard mask appears in pit, Straight every man who thinks himself a wit, Perks up; and managing his comb with grace, With his white wig sets off his nut-brown face. "

And "The Fortune Hunters, " act i. Sc. 2 (1689): "He looked, indeed, andsighed, and set his cravat-string, and sighed again, and combed hisperiwig: sighed a third time, and then took snuff, I guess to show thewhiteness of his hand. " See, too, Wycherley's "Love in a Wood, " act iii. Sc. 1:--

"DAPPERWIT. Let me prune and flounce my perruque a little for her;there's ne'er a young fellow in the town but will do as much for a merestranger in the play-house. 

"RANGER. A wit's wig has the privilege of being uncombed in the veryplay-house, or in the presence--

"DAPPERWIT. But not in the presence of his mistress; 'tis a greaterneglect of her than himself; pray lend me your comb. . . . She comes, shecomes; pray, your comb. (_Snatches_ RANGER'S _comb_. )"]

[Footnote 382: "Mrs. Distaff hath received the Dialogue dated Mondayevening, which she has sent forward to Mr. Bickerstaff at Maidenhead:and in the meantime gives her service to the parties" (folio). ]

No. 39. [STEELE. 

By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq. 

From _Thursday, July 7_, to _Saturday, July 9_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Grecian Coffee-house, July 7. 

As I am called forth by the immense love I bear to my fellow creatures, and the warm inclination I feel within me, to stem, as far as I can, theprevailing torrent of vice and ignorance; so I cannot more properlypursue that noble impulse, than by setting forth the excellence ofvirtue and knowledge in their native and beautiful colours. For thisreason I made my late excursion to Oxford, where those qualities appearin their highest lustre, and are the only pretences to honour anddistinction: superiority is there given in proportion to men'sadvancement in wisdom and learning; and that just rule of life is souniversally received among those happy people, that you shall see anearl walk bareheaded to the son of the meanest artificer, in respect toseven years more worth and knowledge than the nobleman is possessed of. In other places they bow to men's fortunes, but here to theirunderstandings. It is not to be expressed, how pleasing the order, thediscipline, the regularity of their lives, is to a philosopher, who has, by many years' experience in the world, learned to contemn everythingbut what is revered in this mansion of select and well-taught spirits. The magnificence of their palaces, the greatness of their revenues, thesweetness of their groves and retirements, seem equally adapted for theresidence of princes and philosophers; and a familiarity with objects ofsplendour, as well as places of recess, prepares the inhabitants with anequanimity for their future fortunes, whether humble or illustrious. Howwas I pleased when I looked round at St. Mary's, and could, in the facesof the ingenious youth, see ministers of state, chancellors, bishops, and judges. Here only is human life! Here only the life of man is arational being! Here men understand and are employed in works worthytheir noble nature. This transitory being passes away in an employmentnot unworthy a future state, the contemplation of the great decrees ofProvidence. Each man lives as if he were to answer the questions made toJob, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?. . . Whoshut up the sea with doors, . . . And said, Hitherto shalt thou come, andno further?"[383] Such speculations make life agreeable, make deathwelcome, But alas! I was torn from this noble society by the business ofthis dirty mean world, and the cares of fortune: for I was obliged to bein town against the 7th day of the term, and accordingly governed myselfby my Oxford Almanack, and came last night; but find, to my greatastonishment, that this ignorant town began the term on the 24th of thelast month, in opposition to all the learning and astronomy of thefamous university of which I have been speaking; according to which, theterm certainly was to commence on the 1st instant. [384] You may be sure, a man who has turned his studies as I have, could not be mistaken inpoint of time; for knowing I was to come to town in term, I examined thepassing moments very narrowly, and called an eminent astronomer to myassistance. Upon very strict observation we found, that the cold hasbeen so severe this last winter (which is allowed to have a benumbingquality), that it retarded the earth in moving round from Christmas tothis season full seven days and two seconds. My learned friend assuredme further, that the earth had lately received a shog from a comet thatcrossed its vortex, which, if it had come ten degrees nearer us, hadmade us lose this whole term. I was indeed once of opinion, that theGregorian computation was the most regular, as being eleven days beforethe Julian; but am now fully convinced, that we ought to be seven daysafter the chancellor and judges, and eighteen before the Pope of Rome;and that the Oxonian computation is the best of the three. These are thereasons which I have gathered from philosophy and nature; to which I canadd other circumstances in vindication of the account of this learnedbody who published this almanack. It is notorious to philosophers, thatjoy and grief can hasten and delay time. Mr. Locke is of opinion, that aman in great misery may so far lose his measure, as to think a minute anhour; or in joy, make an hour a minute. Let us examine the present caseby this rule, and we shall find, that the cause of this general mistakein the British nation, has been the great success of the last campaign, and the following hopes of peace. Stocks ran so high at the 'Change, that the citizens had gained three days of the courtiers; and we haveindeed been so happy this reign, that if the University did not rectifyour mistakes, we should think ourselves but in the second year of herpresent Majesty. It would be endless to enumerate the many damages thathave happened by this ignorance of the vulgar. All the recognisanceswithin the Diocese of Oxford have been forfeited, for not appearing onthe first day of this fictitious term. The University has been nonsuitedin their action against the booksellers for printing Clarendon inquarto. But indeed what gives me the most quick concern, is the case ofa poor gentleman my friend, who was the other day taken in execution bya set of ignorant bailiffs. He should, it seems, have pleaded in thefirst week of term; but being a Master of Arts of Oxford, he would notrecede from the Oxonian computation. He showed Mr. Broad the almanack, and the very day when the term began; but the merciless ignorant fellow, against all sense and learning, would hurry him away. He went indeedquietly enough; but he has taken exact notes of the time of arrest, andsufficient witnesses of his being carried into gaol; and has, by adviceof the Recorder of Oxford, brought his action; and we doubt not but weshall pay them off with damages, and blemish the reputation of Mr. Broad. We have one convincing proof, which all that frequent the Courtsof Justice are witnesses of: the dog that comes constantly toWestminster on the first day of the term, did not appear till the firstday according to the Oxford Almanack; whose instinct I take to be abetter guide than men's erroneous opinions, which are usually biased byinterest. I judge in this case, as King Charles II. Victualled his navy, with the bread which one of his dogs chose of several pieces thrownbefore him, rather than trust to the asseverations of the victuallers. Mr. Cowper, [385] and other learned counsel, have already urged theauthority of this almanack, in behalf of their clients. We shalltherefore go on with all speed in our cause; and doubt not, but Chancerywill give at the end what we lost in the beginning, by protracting theterm for us till Wednesday come se'nnight: and the University oratorshall for ever pray, &c. 

From my own Apartment, July 7. 

The subject of duels[386] has, I find, been started with so goodsuccess, that it has been the frequent subject of conversation amongpolite men; and a dialogue of that kind has been transmitted to meverbatim, as follows. The persons concerned in it are men of honour, andexperience in the manners of men, and have fallen upon the truestfoundation, as well as searched the bottom, of this evil. 

Mr. SAGE. If it were in my power, every man that drew his sword, unlessin the Service, or purely to defend his life, person, or goods, fromviolence (I mean abstracted from all punctos or whims of honour) shouldride the wooden horse in the Tilt Yard[387] for such first offence, forthe second stand in the pillory, and for the third be prisoner in Bedlamfor life. 

Col. PLUME. I remember, that a rencounter or duel was so far from beingin fashion among the officers that served in the Parliament army, thaton the contrary, it was as disreputable, and as great an impediment toadvancement in the Service, as being bashful in time of action. 

Sir MARK. Yet I have been informed by some old Cavaliers, of famousreputation for brave and gallant men, that they were much more in modeamong their party, than they have been during this last war. 

Col. PLUME. That is true too, sir. Mr. SAGE. By what you say, gentlemen, one should think that our present military officers arecompounded of an equal proportion of both those tempers; since duels areneither quite discountenanced, nor much in vogue. 

Sir MARK. That difference of temper, in regard to duels, which appearsto have been between the Court and Parliament-men of the sword, was not(I conceive) for want of courage in the latter, nor of a liberaleducation; because there were some of the best families in Englandengaged in that party; but gallantry and mode, which glitter agreeablyto the imagination, were encouraged by the Court, as promoting itssplendour; and it was as natural that the contrary party (who were torecommend themselves to the public for men of serious and solid parts)should deviate from everything chimerical. 

Mr. SAGE. I have never read of a duel among the Romans; and yet theirnobility used more liberty with their tongues than one may do nowwithout being challenged. 

Sir MARK. Perhaps the Romans were of opinion, that ill language, andbrutal manners, reflected only on those who were guilty of them; andthat a man's reputation was not at all cleared by cutting the person'sthroat who had reflected upon it: but the custom of those times hadfixed the scandal in the action; whereas now it lies in the reproach. 

Mr. SAGE. And yet the only sort of duel that one can conceive to havebeen fought upon motives truly honourable and allowable, was thatbetween the Horatii and Curiatii. 

Sir MARK. Colonel Plume, pray what was the method of single combat inyour time among the Cavaliers? I suppose, that as the use of clothescontinues, though the fashion of them has been mutable; so duels, though still in use, have had in all times their particular modes ofperformance. 

Col. PLUME. We had no constant rule, but generally conducted our disputeand tilt according to the last that had happened between persons ofreputation among the very top fellows for bravery and gallantry. 

Sir MARK. If the fashion of quarrelling and tilting was so often changedin your time, Colonel Plume, a man might fight, yet lose his credit forwant of understanding the fashion. 

Col. PLUME. Why, Sir Mark, in the beginning of July, a man would havebeen censured for want of courage, or been thought indigent of the truenotions of honour, if he had put up [with] words, which in the end ofSeptember following, one could not resent without passing for a brutaland quarrelsome fellow. 

Sir MARK. But, Colonel, were duels or rencounters most in fashion inthose days?

Col. PLUME. Your men of nice honour, sir, were for avoiding all censureof advantage which they supposed might be taken in a rencounter;therefore they used seconds, who were to see that all was upon thesquare, and make a faithful report of the whole combat; but in a littletime it became a fashion for the seconds to fight, and I'll tell you howit happened. 

Mr. SAGE. Pray do, Colonel Plume, and the method of a duel at that time, and give us some notion of the punctos upon which your nice menquarrelled in those days. 

Col. PLUME. I was going to tell you, Mr. Sage, that one Cornet Modishhad desired his friend, Captain Smart's, opinion in some affair, but didnot follow it; upon which Captain Smart sent Major Adroit (a verytopping fellow of those times) to the person that had slighted hisadvice. The Major never inquired into the quarrel, because it was notthe manner then among the very topping fellows; but got two swords of anequal length, and then waited upon Cornet Modish, desiring him to choosehis sword, and meet his friend Captain Smart. Cornet Modish came withhis friend to the place of combat; there the principals put on theirpumps, and stripped to their shirts, to show they had nothing but whatmen of honour carry about them, and then engaged. 

Sir MARK. And did the seconds stand by, sir?

Col. PLUME. It was a received custom till that time; but the swords ofthose days being pretty long, and the principals acting on both sidesupon the defensive, and the morning being frosty, Major Adroit desiredthat the other second, who was also a very topping fellow, would try athrust or two only to keep them warm, till the principals had decidedthe matter, which was agreed to by Modish's second, who presentlywhipped Adroit through the body, disarmed him, and then parted theprincipals, who had received no harm at all. 

Mr. SAGE. But was not Adroit laughed at?

Col. PLUME. On the contrary, the very topping fellows were ever after ofopinion, that no man who deserved that character, could serve as asecond, without fighting; and the Smarts and Modishes finding theiraccount in it, the humour took without opposition. 

Mr. SAGE. Pray, Colonel, how long did that fashion continue?

Col. PLUME, Not long neither, Mr. Sage; for as soon as it became afashion, the very topping fellows thought their honour reflected upon, if they did not proffer themselves as seconds when any of their friendshad a quarrel; so that sometimes there were a dozen of a side. 

Sir MARK. Bless me! If that custom had continued, we should have beenat a loss now for our very pretty fellows; for they seem to be theproper men to officer, animate, and keep up an army: but, pray, sir, howdid that sociable manner of tilting grow out of mode?

Col. PLUME. Why, sir, I'll tell you; it was a law among the combatants, that the party which happened to have the first man disarmed or killed, should yield as vanquished; which some people thought might encouragethe Modishes and Smarts in quarrelling, to the destruction of only thevery topping fellows; and as soon as this reflection was started, thevery topping fellows thought it an incumbrance upon their honour tofight at all themselves. Since that time, the Modishes and the Smarts, throughout all Europe, have extolled the French king's edict. 

Sir MARK. Our very pretty fellows, whom I take to be the successors ofthe very topping fellows, think a quarrel so little fashionable, thatthey will not be exposed to it by another man's vanity, or want ofsense. 

Mr. SAGE. But, Colonel, I have observed in your account of duels, thatthere was a great exactness in avoiding all advantage that mightpossibly be between the combatants. 

Col. PLUME. That's true, sir; for the weapons were always equal. 

Mr. SAGE. Yes, sir; but suppose an active, adroit, strong man, hadinsulted an awkward, or a feeble, or an unpractised swordsman. 

Col. PLUME. Then, sir, they fought with pistols. 

Mr. SAGE. But, sir, there might be a certain advantage that way; for agood marksman will be sure to hit his man at twenty yards distance; anda man whose hand shakes (which is common to men that debauch inpleasures, or have not used pistols out of their holsters) won'tventure to fire, unless he touches the person he shoots at. Now, sir, Iam of opinion, that one can get no honour in killing a man (if one hasit all rug, [388] as the gamesters say), when they have a trick to makethe game secure, though they seem to play upon the square. 

Sir MARK. In truth, Mr. Sage, I think such a fact must be murder in aman's own private conscience, whatever it may appear to the world. 

Col. PLUME. I have known some men so nice, that they would not fight butupon a cloak without pistols. 

Mr. SAGE. I believe a custom, well established, would outdo the GrandMonarch's edict. [389]

Sir MARK. And bullies would then leave off their long swords; but Idon't find that a very pretty fellow can stay to change his sword, whenhe is insulted by a bully with a long diego, [390] though his own at thesame time be no longer than a penknife; which will certainly be thecase, if such little swords are in mode. Pray, Colonel, how was itbetween the hectors of your time and the very topping fellows?

Col. PLUME. Sir, long swords happened to be generally worn in thosetimes. 

Mr. SAGE. In answer to what you were saying, Sir Mark, give me leave toinform you, that your knights-errant (who were the very pretty fellowsof those ancient times) thought they could not honourably yield, thoughthey had fought their own trusty weapons to the stumps; but wouldventure as boldly with the page's leaden sword, as if it had been ofenchanted metal. Whence I conceive, there must be a spice of romanticgallantry in the composition of that very pretty fellow. 

Sir MARK. I am of opinion, Mr. Sage, that fashion governs a very prettyfellow; nature, or common sense, your ordinary persons, and sometimesmen of fine parts. 

Mr. SAGE. But what is the reason, that men of the most excellent senseand morals (in other points) associate their understandings with thevery pretty fellows in that chimæra of a duel?

Sir MARK. There's no disputing against so great a majority. 

Mr. SAGE. But there is one scruple (Colonel Plume) and I have done:don't you believe there may be some advantage even upon a cloak withpistols, which a man of nice honour would scruple to take?

Col. PLUME. Faith, I can't tell, sir; but since one may reasonablysuppose, that (in such a case) there can be but one so far in the wrongas to occasion matters to come to that extremity, I think the chance ofbeing killed should fall but on one; whereas by their close anddesperate manner of fighting, it may very probably happen to both. 

Sir MARK. Why, gentlemen, if they are men of such nice honour (and mustfight), there will be no fear of foul play, if they threw up cross orpile[391] who should be shot. 

[Footnote 383: Job xxxviii. 4, 8, 11. ]

[Footnote 384: There was a difference between the University terms andthe Law terms. ]

[Footnote 385: Spencer Cowper (1669-1727), brother of Earl Cowper, andafterwards a judge of the Common Pleas. He was one of the managers ofthe impeachment of Sacheverell in 1710. ]

[Footnote 386: See Nos. 25, 26, 29, 31, 38, 205. ]

[Footnote 387: At Whitehall. ]

[Footnote 388: _Cf. _ "Wentworth Papers, " p. 394: "June 29, 1714. Thechanges at Court does not go so rug as some people expected and gaveout, that 'twas to be all intire Tory with the least seeming mixture ofWhigs. "]

[Footnote 389: See _Spectator_, No. 97. ]

[Footnote 390: A sword. Don Diego was a familiar name for a Spaniardwith both English and French writers in the seventeenth century. SanDiego is a corruption of Santiago (St. James), the patron saint ofSpain. ]

[Footnote 391: A pillar, the design on one side of a coin, bearing onthe other a cross. Swift says, "This I humbly conceive to be perfectboys' play; cross, I win, and pile, you lose. "]

No. 40. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, July 9_, to _Tuesday, July 12_, 1709. 

 * * * * *

Will's Coffee-house, July 11. 

Letters from the city of London give an account of a very greatconsternation that place is in at present, by reason of a late inquirymade at Guildhall, whether a noble person[392] has parts enough todeserve the enjoyment of the great estate of which he is possessed. Thecity is apprehensive that this precedent may go further than was atfirst imagined. The person against whom this inquisition is set up byhis relations, is a peer of a neighbouring kingdom, and has in his youthmade some few bulls, by which it is insinuated, that he has forfeitedhis goods and chattels. This is the more astonishing, in that there aremany persons in the said city who are still more guilty than hislordship, and who, though they are idiots, do not only possess, but havealso themselves acquired great estates, contrary to the known laws ofthis realm, which vests their possessions in the Crown. There is agentleman of this coffee-house at this time exhibiting a bill inChancery against his father's younger brother, who by some strange magichas arrived at the value of half a plum, as the citizens call a hundredthousand pounds; and in all the time of growing up to that wealth, wasnever known in any of his ordinary words or actions to discover anyproof of reason. Upon this foundation my friend has set forth, that heis illegally master of his coffers, and has writ two epigrams to signifyhis own pretensions and sufficiency for spending that estate. He hasinserted in his plea some things which I fear will give offence; for hepretends to argue, that though a man has a little of the knave mixedwith the fool, he is nevertheless liable to the loss of goods; and makesthe abuse of reason as just an avoidance of an estate as the totalabsence of it. This is what can never pass; but witty men are so full ofthemselves, that there is no persuading them; and my friend will not beconvinced, but that upon quoting Solomon, who always used the word"fool" as a term of the same signification with "unjust, " and makes alldeviation from goodness and virtue to come under the notion of folly--Isay, he doubts not, but by the force of this authority, let his idiotuncle appear never so great a knave, he shall prove him a fool at thesame time. This affair led the company here into an examination of thesepoints; and none coming here but wits, what was asserted by a younglawyer, that a lunatic is in the care of the Chancery, but a fool inthat of the Crown, was received with general indignation. "Why that?"says old Renault. "Why that? Why must a fool be a courtier more than amadman? This is the iniquity of this dull age: I remember the time whenit went on the mad side; all your top wits were scowrers, [393] rakes, roarers, and demolishers of windows. I remember a mad lord who was drunkfive years together, and was the envy of that age, and is faintlyimitated by the dull pretenders to vice and madness in this. Had helived to this day, there had not been a fool in fashion in the wholekingdom. " When Renault had done speaking, a very worthy man assumed thediscourse: "This is, " said he, "Mr. Bickerstaff, a proper argument foryou to treat in your article from this place; and if you would send yourPacolet into all our brains, you would find, that a little fibre orvalve, scarce discernible, makes the distinction between a politicianand an idiot. We should therefore throw a veil upon those unhappyinstances of human nature, who seem to breathe without the direction ofreason and understanding, as we should avert our eyes with abhorrencefrom such as live in perpetual abuse and contradiction to these noblefaculties. Shall this unfortunate man be divested of his estate, becausehe is tractable and indolent, runs in no man's debt, invades no man'sbed, nor spends the estate he owes his children and his character; whenone who shows no sense above him, but in such practices, shall beesteemed in his senses, and possibly may pretend to the guardianship ofhim who is no ways his inferior, but in being less wicked? We see oldage brings us indifferently into the same impotence of soul, whereinnature has placed this lord. There is something very fantastical in thedistribution of civil power and capacity among men. The law certainlygives these persons into the ward and care of the Crown, because that isbest able to protect them from injuries, and the impositions of craftand knavery; that the life of an idiot may not ruin the entail of anoble house, and his weakness may not frustrate the industry or capacityof the founder of his family. But when one of bright parts, as we say, with his eyes open, and all men's eyes upon him, destroys thosepurposes, there is no remedy. Folly and ignorance are punished! Follyand guilt are tolerated! Mr. Locke has somewhere made a distinctionbetween a madman and a fool:[394] a fool is he that from rightprinciples makes a wrong conclusion; but a madman is one who draws ajust inference from false principles. Thus the fool who cut off thefellow's head that lay asleep, and hid it, and then waited to see whathe would say when he awakened and missed his headpiece, was in the rightin the first thought, that a man would be surprised to find such analteration in things since he fell asleep; but he was a little mistakento imagine he could awake at all after his head was off. A madmanfancies himself a prince; but upon his mistake, he acts suitably to thatcharacter; and though he is out in supposing he has principalities, while he drinks gruel, and lies in straw, yet you shall see him keep theport of a distressed monarch in all his words and actions. These twopersons are equally taken into custody: but what must be done to halfthis good company, who every hour of their life are knowingly andwittingly both fools and madmen, and yet have capacities both of formingprinciples, and drawing conclusions, with the full use of reason?"

From my own Apartment, July 11. 

This evening some ladies came to visit my sister Jenny; and thediscourse, after very many frivolous and public matters, turned upon themain point among the women, the passion of love. [395] Sappho, who alwaysleads on this occasion, began to show her reading, and told us, that SirJohn Suckling and Milton had, upon a parallel occasion, said thetenderest things she had ever read. "The circumstance, " said she, "issuch as gives us a notion of that protecting part which is the duty ofmen in their honourable designs upon, or possession of, women. InSuckling's tragedy of 'Brennoralt' he makes the lover steal into hismistress's bedchamber, and draw the curtains; then, when his heart isfull of her charms, as she lies sleeping, instead of being carried awayby the violence of his desires into thoughts of a warmer nature, sleep, which is the image of death, gives this generous lover reflections of adifferent kind, which regard rather her safety than his own passion. For, beholding her as she lies sleeping, he utters these words:

 _"So misers look upon their gold, Which, while they joy to see, they fear to lose: The pleasure of the sight scarce equalling The jealousy of being dispossessed by others. Her face is like the Milky Way i' th' sky, A meeting of gentle lights without name!

 "Heavens I shall this fresh ornament of the world, These precious love-lines, pass with other common things Amongst the wastes of time? what pity 'twere!_[396]

"When Milton makes Adam leaning on his arm, beholding Eve, and lying inthe contemplation of her beauty, he describes the utmost tenderness andguardian affection in one word:

 "_Adam with looks of cordial love Hung over her enamoured. _[397]

"This is that sort of passion which truly deserves the name of 'love, 'and has something more generous than friendship itself; for it has aconstant care of the object beloved, abstracted from its own interestsin the possession of it. " Sappho was proceeding on the subject, when mysister produced a letter sent to her in the time of my absence, incelebration of the marriage state, which is the condition wherein onlythis sort of passion reigns in full authority. The epistle is asfollows:

"DEAR MADAM, "Your brother being absent, I dare take the liberty of writing to you mythoughts of that state, which our whole sex either is or desires to bein: you'll easily guess I mean matrimony, which I hear so much decried, that it was with no small labour I maintained my ground against twoopponents; but, as your brother observed of Socrates, I drew them intomy conclusion from their own concessions; thus:

 _"In marriage are two happy things allowed, A wife in wedding-sheets, and in a shroud. How can a marriage state then be accursed, Since the last day's as happy as the first?_

"If you think they were too easily confuted, you may conclude them notof the first sense, by their talking against marriage. 

"Yours, "MARIANA. "

I observed Sappho began to redden at this epistle; and turning to alady, who was playing with a dog she was so fond of as to carry himabroad with her; "Nay, " says she, "I cannot blame the men if they havemean ideas of our souls and affections, and wonder so many are broughtto take us for companions for life, when they see our endearments sotriflingly placed: for, to my knowledge, Mr. Truman would give half hisestate for half the affection you have shown to that Shock: nor do Ibelieve you would be ashamed to confess, that I saw you cry, when he hadthe colic last week with lapping sour milk. What more could you do foryour lover himself?" "What more!" replied the lady, "there is not a manin England for whom I could lament half so much. " Then she stifled theanimal with kisses, and called him, Beau, Life, Dear, Monsieur, PrettyFellow, and what not, in the hurry of her impertinence. Sappho rose up;as she always does at anything she observes done, which discovers in herown sex a levity of mind, which renders them inconsiderable in theopinion of others. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 11. 

Letters from the Hague of the 16th instant, N. S. , say, that the siege ofTournay went on with all imaginable success; and that there has been nomanner of stop given to the attempts of the Confederates since theyundertook it, except that by an accident of firing a piece of ordnance, it burst, and killed fifteen or sixteen men. The French army is stillin the camp of Lens, and goes on in improving their entrenchments. Whenthe last advices came away, it was believed the town of Tournay would bein the hands of the Confederates by the end of this month. Advices fromBrussels inform us, that they have an account of a great action betweenthe malcontents in the Vivarez, and the French king's forces under thecommand of the Duke of Roquelaure, in which engagement there wereeighteen hundred men killed on the spot. They add, that all sorts ofpeople who are under any oppression or discontent do daily join theVivarois; and that their present body of men in arms consisted of sixthousand. This sudden insurrection has put the Court of France undergreat difficulties; and the king has given orders, that the main body ofhis troops in Spain shall withdraw into his own dominions, where theyare to be quartered in such countries as have of late discovered aninclination to take up arms: the calamities of that kingdom being such, that the people are not by any means to be kept in obedience, except bythe terror of military execution. What makes the distresses stillgreater, is, that the Court begins to be doubtful of their troops, someregiments in the action in the Cevennes having faced about against theirofficers; and after the battle was over, joined the malcontents. Uponreceiving advice of this battle, the Duke of Berwick detached twelvebattalions into those parts, and began to add new works to hisentrenchments near Briançon, in order to defend his camp, after beingweakened by sending so great a reinforcement into the Cevennes. Lettersfrom Spain say, that the Duchess of Anjou was lately delivered of asecond son. They write from Madrid of the 25th of June, that theblockade of Olivenza was continued; but acknowledge, that the lateprovisions which were thrown into the place, make them doubt whetherthey shall be masters of it this campaign; though it is at present soclosely blocked up, that it appears impracticable to send in any morestores or succours. They are preparing with all expedition to repair thefortifications of Alicante, for the security of the kingdom of Valencia. 

[Footnote 392: It appears from Luttrell's "Brief Relation, " that in Feb. 1707, Commissioners sat in the Exchequer Room at Westminster to trywhether Viscount Wenman, "aged 19, of £5000 per annum estate inOxfordshire, " were an idiot or not. On the 14th February the Commissionwas superseded. In June 1709, a new Commission passed the Great Seal forinquiring into the Viscount's idiocy, and on July 29 they found that hewas no idiot. On July 12, Peter Wentworth wrote thus to Lord Raby: "Theprosecution of Lord Wainman is now order'd again, upon wch the _Tatler_is to day; the accation I am told is this, that last year when there wasa stopt put to't 'twas upon the intercession lady Wainman the mothermade to the Queen, and that she designed to marry her son, the fool, toSir John Packington's daughter, 'twas then said that my Lady her selfhad married her Butler, wch the Queen desired her to tell the truth, andshe did assure the Queen upon her word and honour, 'twas false, and shenever intended any such thing, but of late she has own her marriage tothat same Butler, and put off the match with Sir John P----daughter, andmarried him to her husband's sister, wch they say the Queen is angry atand therefore this fresh prosecution is order'd" ("Wentworth Papers, " p. 93). Lord Wenman, the fifth Viscount, was born in 1687, marriedSusannah, daughter of Seymour Wroughton, Esq. , in 1709, and died in1729. Lord Wenman's brother-in-law, Francis Wroughton, was also hisfather-in-law, for he had married, in 1699, as her third husband, theViscount's mother, the Countess of Abingdon. ]

[Footnote 393: The Scowrers and Roarers were the forerunners of theMohocks of 1712. Shadwell wrote a play called "The Scowrers, " and oftenalludes to the window-breakers of his time. See Gay's "Trivia, " iii. 325:

 "Who has not heard the Scowrer's midnight fame? Who has not trembled at the Mohock's name?"]

[Footnote 394: "Essay concerning Human Understanding, " chap. Xii. Sect. 14. ]

[Footnote 395: See Nos. 6, 35. ]

[Footnote 396: "Brennoralt, " act iii. ]

[Footnote 397: "Paradise Lost, " iv. 12, 13. ]

No. 41. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, July 12_, to _Thursday, July 14_, 1709. 

 Celebrare domestica facta. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 12. 

There is no one thing more to be lamented in our nation, than theirgeneral affectation of everything that is foreign; nay, we carry it sofar, that we are more anxious for our own countrymen when they havecrossed the seas, than when we see them in the same dangerous conditionbefore our eyes at home: else how is it possible, that on the 29th ofthe last month, there should have been a battle fought in our verystreets of London, and nobody at this end of the town have heard of it?I protest, I, who make it my business to inquire after adventures, should never have known this, had not the following account been sent meenclosed in a letter. This, it seems, is the way of giving out of ordersin the Artillery Company;[398] and they prepare for a day of action withso little concern, as only to call it, "An Exercise of Arms. "

"An Exercise at Arms of the Artillery Company, to be performed onWednesday, June 29, 1709, under the command of Sir Joseph Woolfe, Knightand Alderman, General; Charles Hopson, Esquire, present Sheriff, Lieutenant-General; Captain Richard Synge, Major; Major John Shorey, Captain of Grenadiers; Captain William Grayhurst, Captain John Buttler, Captain Robert Carellis, Captains. 

"The body march from the Artillery Ground through Moorgate, ColemanStreet, Lothbury, Broad Street, Finch Lane, Cornhill, Cheapside, St. Martin's, St. Anne's Lane, halt the pikes under the wall in NobleStreet, draw up the firelocks facing the Goldsmiths' Hall, make readyand face to the left, and fire, and so ditto three times. Beat to arms, and march round the hall, as up Lad Lane, Gutter Lane, Honey Lane, andso wheel to the right, and make your salute to my lord, and so down St. Anne's Lane, up Aldersgate Street, Barbican, and draw up in Red CrossStreet, the right at St. Paul's Alley in the rear. March offLieutenant-General with half the body up Beech Lane: he sends asubdivision up King's Head Court, and takes post in it, and marches twodivisions round into Red Lion Market, to defend that pass, and succourthe division in King's Head Court, but keeps in White Cross Street, facing Beech Lane, the rest of the body ready drawn up. Then the Generalmarches up Beech Lane, is attacked, but forces the division in the courtinto the market, and enters with three divisions while he presses theLieutenant-General's main body; and at the same time, the threedivisions force those of the revolters out of the market, and so all theLieutenant-General's body retreats into Chiswell Street, and lodges twodivisions in Grub Street; and as the General marches on, they fall onhis flank, but soon made to give way; but having a retreating place inRed Lion Court, but could not hold it, being put to flight throughPaul's Alley, and pursued by the General's grenadiers, while he marchesup and attacks their main body, but are opposed again by a party of menas lay in Black Raven Court; but they are forced also to retire soon inthe utmost confusion; and at the same time those brave divisions inPaul's Alley ply their rear with grenadiers, that with precipitationthey take to the rout along Bunhill Row: so the General marches into theArtillery Ground, and being drawn up, finds the revolting party to havefound entrance, and makes a show as if for a battle, and both armiessoon engage in form, and fire by platoons. "

Much might be said for the improvement of this system; which, for itsstyle and invention, may instruct generals and their historians, both infighting a battle, and describing it when it is over. These elegantexpressions, "Ditto, " "And so, " "But soon, " "But having, " "But couldnot, " "But are, " "But they, " "Finds the party to have found, " &c. , docertainly give great life and spirit to the relation. Indeed I amextremely concerned for the Lieutenant-General, who, by his overthrowand defeat, is made a deplorable instance of the fortune of war, andvicissitudes of human affairs. He, alas! has lost in Beech Lane andChiswell Street, all the glory he lately gained in and about Holborn andSt. Giles's. The art of subdividing first, and dividing afterwards, isnew and surprising; and according to this method, the troops aredisposed in King's Head Court and Red Lion Market: nor is the conduct ofthese leaders less conspicuous in their choice of the ground or field ofbattle. Happy was it, that the greatest part of the achievements of thisday was to be performed near Grub Street, [399] that there might not bewanting a sufficient number of faithful historians, who beingeye-witnesses of these wonders, should impartially transmit them toposterity: but then it can never be enough regretted, that we are leftin the dark as to the name and title of that extraordinary hero whocommanded the divisions in Paul's Alley; especially because thosedivisions are justly styled brave, and accordingly were to push theenemy along Bunhill Row, and thereby occasion a general battle. ButPallas appeared in the form of a shower of rain, and prevented theslaughter and desolation which were threatened by these extraordinarypreparations. 

 _Hi motus animorum atque hæc certamina tanta Pulveris exigui jactu compressa quiescunt. _[400]

Will's Coffee-house, July 13. 

Some part of the company keep up the old way of conversation in thisplace, which usually turned upon the examination of nature, and aninquiry into the manners of men. There is one in the room so veryjudicious, that he manages impertinents with the utmost dexterity. Itwas diverting this evening to hear a discourse between him and one ofthese gentlemen. He told me before that person joined us, that he was aquestioner, who, according to his description, is one who asksquestions, not with a design to receive information, but an affectationto show his uneasiness for want of it. He went on in asserting, thatthere are crowds of that modest ambition, as to aim no farther than todemonstrate that they are in doubt. But by this time Will Why-not wassat down by us. "So, gentlemen, " says he, "in how many days, think you, shall we be masters of Tournay? Is the account of the action of theVivarois to be depended upon? Could you have imagined England had somuch money in it, as you see it has produced? Pray, sirs, what do youthink? Will the Duke of Savoy make an eruption into France? But, " sayshe, "time will clear all these mysteries. " His answer to himself gave methe altitude of his head, and to all his questions I thus answered verysatisfactorily: "Sir, have you heard that this Slaughterford[401] neverowned the fact for which he died? Have the newspapers mentioned thatmatter? But, pray, can you tell me what method will be taken to providefor these Palatines?[402] But this, as you say, time will clear. " "Ay, ay, " says he, and whispers me, "they will never let us into these thingsbeforehand. " I whispered him again, "We shall know it as soon as thereis a proclamation. " He tells me in the other ear, "You are in the rightof it. " Then he whispered my friend to know what my name was; then madean obliging bow, and went to examine another table. This led my friendand me to weigh this wandering manner in many other incidents, and hetook out of his pockets several little notes or tickets to solicit forvotes to employments: as, "Mr. John Taplash having served all offices, and being reduced to great poverty, desires your vote for singing clerkof this parish. " Another "has had ten children, all whom his wife hassuckled herself; therefore humbly desires to be a schoolmaster. " Thereis nothing so frequent as this way of application for offices. It is notthat you are fit for the place, but because the place would beconvenient for you, that you claim a merit to it. But commend me to thegreat Kirleus, [403] who has lately set up for midwifery, and to helpchildbirth, for no other reason, but that he is himself the UnbornDoctor. The way is to hit upon something that puts the vulgar upon thestare, or that touches their compassion, which is often the weakest partabout us. I know a good lady, who has taken her daughters from their olddancing-master, to place them with another, for no other reason, butbecause the new man has broke his leg, which is so ill set, that he cannever dance more. 

From my own Apartment, July 13. 

As it is a frequent mortification to me to receive letters, whereinpeople tell me, without a name, they know I meant them in such and sucha passage; so that very accusation is an argument, that there are suchbeings in human life, as fall under our description and our discourse, is not altogether fantastical and groundless. But in this case I amtreated as I saw a boy was the other day, who gave out poxy bills: everyplain fellow took it that passed by, and went on his way without furthernotice: at last came one with his nose a little abridged; who knocks thelad down, with a, "Why, you son of a w----e, do you think I am p----d?"But Shakespeare has made the best apology for this way of talkingagainst the public errors: he makes Jaques, in the play called "As YouLike It, " express himself thus:

 _Why, who cries out on pride, That can therein tax any private party? What woman in the city do I name, When that I say the city woman bears The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders? Who can come in and say that I mean her, When such a one as she, such is her neighbour? Or, what is he of basest function, That says his bravery is not on my cost? Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits His folly to the mettle of my speech. There then! How then? Then let me see wherein My tongue hath wronged him: if it do him right, Then he hath wronged himself: if he be free, Why then my taxing like a wild goose flies, Unclaimed of any man. _[404]

St. James's Coffee-house, July 13. 

We have received, by letters of the 18th instant from the camp beforeTournay, an account, that we were in a fair prospect of being masters ofthe town within seven days after that date. Our batteries had utterlyoverthrown those of the enemy. On the 16th instant, N. S. , GeneralSchuylemburg had made a lodgment on the counterscarp of the Tenaille;which post was so weakly defended, that we lost but six men in gainingit. So that there seems reason to hope, that the citadel will also be inthe hands of the Confederates about the 6th of August, O. S. Theseadvices inform us further, that Marshal Villars had ordered largedetachments to make motions towards Douay and Condé. The swift progressof this siege has so much alarmed the other frontier towns of France, that they were throwing down some houses in the suburbs of Valenciennes, which they think may stand commodiously for the enemy in case that placeshould be invested. The Elector of Cologne is making all imaginablehaste to remove from thence to Rheims. 

[Footnote 398: See Nos. 28, 38. ]

[Footnote 399: Grub Street, Cripplegate (now Milton Street), became, towards the end of the seventeenth century, the abode of what Johnsoncalls "writers of small histories, dictionaries and temporary poems;whence any mean production is called Grub Street. "]

[Footnote 400: Virgil, "Georgics, " iv. 86. ]

[Footnote 401: The _Flying Post_ records that one Slaughterford wassentenced to death on July 2, 1709, for murdering his sweetheart. ]

[Footnote 402: See Nos. 24, 51. ]

[Footnote 403: See No. 14. ]

[Footnote 404: "As You Like It, " act ii. Sc. 7. ]

No. 42. [STEELE AND ADDISON. 

From _Thursday, July 14, to Saturday, July 16_, 1709. 

 Celebrare domestica facta. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, July 15. 

Looking over some old papers, I found a little treatise, written by mygreat-grandfather, concerning bribery, and thought his manner oftreating that subject not unworthy my remark. He there has a digressionconcerning a possibility, that in some circumstances a man may receivean injury, and yet be conscious to himself that he deserves it. Thereare abundance of fine things said on the subject; but the whole wrappedup in so much jingle and pun (which was the wit of those times) that itis scarce intelligible; but I thought the design was well enough in thefollowing sketch of the old gentleman's poetry: for in this case, wheretwo are rivals for the same thing, and propose to attain it by presents, he that attempts the judge's honesty, by making him offers of reward, ought not to complain when he loses his cause for a better bidder. Butthe good old doggerel runs thus:[405]

 _A poor man once a judge besought, To judge aright his cause, And with a pot of oil salutes This judger of the laws. 

 "My friend" quoth he, "thy cause is good": He glad away did trudge; Anon his wealthy foe did come Before this partial judge. 

 An hog well fed this churl presents, And craves a strain of law; The hog received, the poor man's right Was judged not worth a straw. 

 Therewith he cried, "O! partial judge, Thy doom has me undone; When oil I gave, my cause was good, But now to ruin run. "

 "Poor man" quoth he, "I thee forgot, And see thy cause of foil; An hog came since into my house, And broke thy pot of oil. "_

Will's Coffee-house, July 15. 

The discourse happened this evening to fall upon characters drawn inplays, and a gentleman remarked, that there was no method in the worldof knowing the taste of an age, or period of time so good, as by theobservations of the persons represented in their comedies. There wereseveral instances produced, as Ben Jonson's bringing in a fellow smokingas a piece of foppery;[406] "But, " said the gentleman who entertained uson this subject, "this matter is nowhere so observable as in thedifference of the characters of women on the stage in the last age, andin this. It is not to be supposed that it was a poverty of genius inShakespeare, that his women made so small a figure in his dialogues; butit certainly is, that he drew women as they then were in life; for thatsex had not in those days that freedom in conversation; and theircharacters were only, that they were mothers, sisters, daughters, andwives. There were not then among the ladies, shining wits, politicians, virtuosas, free-thinkers, and disputants; nay, there was then hardlysuch a creature even as a coquette: but vanity had quite another turn, and the most conspicuous woman at that time of day was only the besthousewife. Were it possible to bring into life an assembly of matrons ofthat age, and introduce the learned Lady Woodby into their company, theywould not believe the same nation could produce a creature so unlikeanything they ever saw in it. But these ancients would be as muchastonished to see in the same age so illustrious a pattern to all wholove things praiseworthy, as the divine Aspasia. [407] Methinks, I nowsee her walking in her garden like our first parent, with unaffectedcharms, before beauty had spectators, and bearing celestial consciousvirtue in her aspect. Her countenance is the lively picture of her mind, which is the seat of honour, truth, compassion, knowledge, andinnocence. 

 _There dwells the scorn of vice and pity too. _

In the midst of the most ample fortune, and veneration of all thatbehold and know her, without the least affectation, she consultsretirement, the contemplation of her own being, and that supreme powerwhich bestowed it. Without the learning of schools, or knowledge of along course of arguments, she goes on in a steady course ofuninterrupted piety and virtue, and adds to the severity and privacy ofthe last age all the freedom and ease of this. The language and mien ofa Court she is possessed of in the highest degree; but the simplicityand humble thoughts of a cottage, are her more welcome entertainments. Aspasia is a female philosopher, who does not only live up to theresignation of the most retired lives of the ancient sages, but also tothe schemes and plans which they thought beautiful, though inimitable. This lady is the most exact economist, without appearing busy; the moststrictly virtuous, without tasting the praise of it; and shuns applausewith as much industry, as others do reproach. This character is soparticular, that it will very easily be fixed on her only, by all thatknow her: but I daresay, she will be the last that finds it out. But, alas! if we have one or two such ladies, how many dozens are there likethe restless Poluglossa, who is acquainted with all the world butherself; who has the appearance of all, and possession of no one virtue:she has indeed in her practice the absence of vice; but her discourse isthe continual history of it; and it is apparent, when she speaks of thecriminal gratifications of others, that her innocence is only arestraint, with a certain mixture of envy. She is so perfectly oppositeto the character of Aspasia, that as vice is terrible to her only as itis the object of reproach, so virtue is agreeable only as it is attendedwith applause. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 15. 

It is now twelve o'clock at noon, and no mail come in; therefore I amnot without hopes, that the town will allow me the liberty which mybrother news-writers take, in giving them what may be for theirinformation in another kind, and indulge me in doing an act offriendship, by publishing the following account of goods andmovables. [408]

This is to give notice, that a magnificent palace, with great variety ofgardens, statues, and waterworks, may be bought cheap in Drury Lane;where there are likewise several castles to be disposed of, verydelightfully situated; as also groves, woods, forests, fountains, andcountry seats, with very pleasant prospects on all sides of them; beingthe movables of Ch----r R----ch, [409] Esq. ; who is breaking uphousekeeping, and has many curious pieces of furniture to dispose of, which may be seen between the hours of six and ten in the evening. 

#The INVENTORY. #

 Spirits of right Nantes brandy, for lambent flames and apparitions. 

 Three bottles and a half of lightning. 

 One shower of snow in the whitest French paper. 

 Two showers of a browner sort. 

 A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves; the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged. 

 A dozen and a half of clouds, trimmed with black, and well conditioned. 

 A rainbow a little faded. 

 A set of clouds after the French mode, streaked with lightning, and furbelowed. 

 A new-moon, something decayed. 

 A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being all that is left of two hogsheads sent over last winter. 

 A coach very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons, to be sold cheap. 

 A setting sun, a pennyworth. [410]

 An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the Great, and worn by Julius Cæsar, Bajazet, King Harry the Eighth, and Signior Valentin. [411]

 A basket-hilt sword, very convenient to carry milk in. 

 Roxana's night-gown. 

 Othello's handkerchief. 

 The imperial robes of Xerxes, never worn but once. 

 A wild-boar, killed by Mrs. Tofts[412] and Dioclesian. 

 A serpent to sting Cleopatra. 

 A mustard-bowl to make thunder with. 

 Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. D----is's directions, little used. [413]

 Six elbow-chairs, very expert in country-dances, with six flower-pots for their partners. 

 The whiskers of a Turkish bassa. 

 The complexion of a murderer in a band-box; consisting of a large piece of burnt cork, and a coal-black peruke. 

 A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz. , a bloody shirt, a doublet curiously pinked, and a coat with three great eyelet-holes upon the breast. 

 A bale of red Spanish wool. 

 Modern plots, commonly known by the name of trapdoors, ladders of ropes, vizard-masks, and tables with broad carpets over them. 

 Three oak cudgels, with one of crab-tree; all bought for the use of Mr. Pinkethman. 

 Materials for dancing; as masks, castanets, and a ladder of ten rounds. 

 Aurengezebe's scimitar, made by Will Brown in Piccadilly. 

 A plume of feathers, never used but by Oedipus and the Earl of Essex. 

There are also swords, halberts, sheep-hooks, cardinals' hats, turbans, drums, gallipots, a gibbet, a cradle, a rack, a cart-wheel, an altar, ahelmet, a back-piece, a breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointedbaby. [414]

These are the hard shifts we intelligencers are forced to; therefore ourreaders ought to excuse us, if a westerly wind blowing for a fortnighttogether, generally fills every paper with an order of battle; when weshow our martial skill in each line, and, according to the space we haveto fill, we range our men in squadrons and battalions, or draw outcompany by company, and troop by troop; ever observing, that no musteris to be made, but when the wind is in a cross point, which oftenhappens at the end of a campaign, when half the men are deserted orkilled. The _Courant_ is sometimes ten deep, his ranks close: the_Postboy_[415] is generally in files, for greater exactness; and the_Postman_ comes down upon you rather after the Turkish way, sword inhand, pell-mell, without form or discipline; but sure to bring menenough into the field; and wherever they are raised, never to lose abattle for want of numbers. 

[Footnote 405: From George Whetstone's "English Mirror, " 1586. ]

[Footnote 406: See "Every Man out of his Humour, " act ii. Sc. 1. ]

[Footnote 407: Lady Elizabeth Hastings, unquestionably one of the mostaccomplished and virtuous characters of the age in which she lived, wasthe daughter of Theophilus Hastings, the 7th Earl of Huntingdon, and ofElizabeth, eldest daughter and co-heiress to John Lewes, of Ledstone, inYorkshire, Knt. And Bart. Her father succeeded to the honours and estateof the family, Feb. 13, 1655, and was in 1687 Lord Chief Justice, andJustice in Eyre of all the King's forests, &c. , beyond Trent; LordLieutenant of the counties of Leicester and Derby; Captain of the Bandof Gentlemen Pensioners, and of the Privy Council to King James II. Hedied suddenly at his lodgings in Charles Street, St. James's, May 13, 1701, and was succeeded in his honours and estate by his son, and herbrother, Charles, who died unmarried, Feb. 22, 1704. Lady ElizabethHastings was born April 19, 1682, and died Dec. 22, 1739. It is said, with great probability, that since the commencement of the Christianera, scarce any age has produced a lady of such high birth and superioraccomplishments, that was a greater blessing to many, or a brighterpattern to all. There is an admirable sketch of this illustrious lady'scharacter, drawn soon after her death, in the tenth volume of the_Gentleman's Magazine_, p. 36, probably by Samuel Johnson. See also "Anhistorical Character relating to the holy and exemplary Life of theRight Honourable the Lady Elisabeth Hastings, &c. By Thomas Barnard, A. M. Printed at Leeds, in 1742, 12mo" (Nichols). --Lady ElizabethHastings, who came into a fortune upon the death of her brother George, Earl of Huntingdon, settled at Ledstone House, where she was the LadyBountiful of the neighbourhood. Her whole estate, however, is said tohave been less than £3000 a year. The best of the clergy of the day wereamong her friends. She helped Berkeley in his Bermuda Mission scheme, and she befriended Miss Mary Astell. Ralph Thoresby, who visited her, was "extremely pleased with the most agreeable conversation of the piousand excellent Lady Elizabeth Hastings. " ("Diary, " ii. 82). She was oneof the numerous eligible ladies that the friends of Lord Raby, afterwards Earl of Strafford, suggested to him as a suitable wife("Wentworth Papers, " pp. 29, 56). The character of Aspasia in this paperhas been attributed to Congreve, on the ground, apparently, that he knewLady Elizabeth Hastings' half-brother, Theophilus, afterwards Earl ofHuntingdon. See No. 49, note. ]

[Footnote 408: The remainder of this paper is by Addison; see Steele'sPreface. Drury Lane Theatre was closed by an order of the LordChamberlain, as mentioned in No. 30. ]

[Footnote 409: Christopher Rich. ]

[Footnote 410: A bargain. ]

[Footnote 411: Valentini Urbani sang in Italian in the opera of"Camilla, " in 1707. His acting seems to have been better than his voice(Burney's "History of Music, " iv. 208). ]

[Footnote 412: See No. 20. ]

[Footnote 413: John Dennis's unsuccessful tragedy of "Appius andVirginia" was produced in 1709. On that occasion he introduced a newmethod of making thunder (see "Dunciad, " ii. 226), which was founduseful by managers. Afterwards, when Dennis found his invention beingused in "Macbeth, " he exclaimed, "'Sdeath! that's my thunder. See howthe fellows use me, they have silenced my tragedy, and they roar out mythunder" (Oldys, MS. Notes on Langbaine). ]

[Footnote 414: "Baby" was often used for "doll. "]

[Footnote 415: See No. 18. ]

No. 43. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, July 16_, to _Tuesday, July 19_, 1709. 

 Bene nummatum decorat suadela Venusque, HOR. 1 Ep. Vi. 38. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 18. 

I write from hence at present to complain, that wit and merit are solittle encouraged by people of rank and quality, that the wits of theage are obliged to run within Temple Bar for patronage. There is adeplorable instance of this in the case of Mr. D----y, [416] who hasdedicated his inimitable comedy, called, "The Modern Prophets, " to aworthy knight, [417] to whom, it seems, he had before communicated hisplan, which was, to ridicule the ridiculous of our established doctrine. I have elsewhere celebrated the contrivance of this excellent drama; butwas not, till I read the dedication, wholly let into the religiousdesign of it. I am afraid it has suffered discontinuance at this gay endof the town, for no other reason but the piety of the purpose. There ishowever in this epistle the true life of panegyrical performance; and Ido not doubt but, if the patron would part with it, I can help him toothers with good pretensions to it; viz. , of uncommon understanding, whowould give him as much as he gave for it. I know perfectly well a nobleperson to whom these words (which are the body of the panegyric) wouldfit to a hair. 

"Your easiness of humour, or rather your harmonious disposition, is soadmirably mixed with your composure, that the rugged cares anddisturbance that public affairs brings with it, which does sovexatiously affect the heads of other great men of business, &c. Doesscarce ever ruffle your unclouded brow so much as with a frown. And whatabove all is praiseworthy, you are so far from thinking yourself betterthan others, that a flourishing and opulent fortune, which by a certainnatural corruption in its quality, seldom fails to infect otherpossessors with pride, seems in this case as if only providentiallydisposed to enlarge your humility. 

"But I find, sir, I am now got into a very large field, where though Icould with great ease raise a number of plants in relation to your meritof this plauditory nature; yet for fear of an author's general vice, andthat the plain justice I have done you should, by my proceeding andothers' mistaken judgment, be imagined flattery, a thing the bluntnessof my nature does not care to be concerned with, and which I also knowyou abominate. "

It is wonderful to see how many judges of these fine things spring upevery day by the rise of stocks, and other elegant methods of abridgingthe way to learning and criticism. But I do hereby forbid alldedications to any persons within the city of London, except SirFrancis, Sir Stephen, [418] and the Bank, will take epigrams and epistlesas value received for their notes; and the East India Companies acceptof heroic poems for their sealed bonds. Upon which bottom, ourpublishers have full power to treat with the city in behalf of usauthors, to enable traders to become patrons and Fellows of the RoyalSociety, as well as receive certain degrees of skill in the Latin andGreek tongues, according to the quantity of the commodities which theytake off our hands. 

Grecian Coffee-house, July 18. 

The learned have so long laboured under the imputation of dryness anddulness in their accounts of their phenomena, that an ingeniousgentleman of our society has resolved to write a system of philosophy ina more lively method, both as to the matter and language, than has beenhitherto attempted. He read to us the plan upon which he intends toproceed. I thought his account, by way of fable of the worlds about us, had so much vivacity in it, that I could not forbear transcribing hishypothesis, to give the reader a taste of my friend's treatise, which isnow in the press. [419]

"The inferior deities having designed on a day to play a game atfootball, knead together a numberless collection of dancing atoms intothe form of seven rolling globes: and that nature might be kept from adull inactivity, each separate particle is endued with a principle ofmotion, or a power of attraction, whereby all the several parcels ofmatter draw each other proportionately to their magnitudes anddistances, into such a remarkable variety of different forms, as toproduce all the wonderful appearances we now observe in empire, philosophy, and religion. To proceed; at the beginning of the game, eachof the globes being struck forward with a vast violence, ran out ofsight, and wandered in a straight line through the infinite spaces. Thenimble deities pursue, breathless almost, and spent in the eager chase;each of them caught hold of one, and stamped it with his name; as, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, and so of the rest. To prevent this inconveniencefor the future, the seven are condemned to a precipitation, which in ourinferior style we call 'gravity. ' Thus the tangential and centripetalforces, by their counter-struggle, make the celestial bodies describe anexact ellipsis. "

There will be added to this an appendix, in defence of the first day ofthe term according to the Oxford Almanac, [420] by a learned knight ofthis realm, with an apology for the said knight's manner of dress;proving, that his habit, according to this hypothesis, is the truemodern and fashionable; and that buckles are not to be worn, by thissystem, till the 10th of March, in the year 1714, which, according tothe computation of some of our greatest divines, is to be the first yearof the Millennium[421]; in which blessed age, all habits will be reducedto a primitive simplicity; and whoever shall be found to have perseveredin a constancy of dress, in spite of all the allurements of profane andheathen habits, shall be rewarded with a never-fading doublet of athousand years. All points in the system which are doubted, shall beattested by the knight's extemporary oath, for the satisfaction of hisreaders. 

Will's Coffee-house, July 18. 

We were upon the heroic strain this evening, and the question was, Whatis the True Sublime? Many very good discourses happened thereupon; afterwhich a gentleman at the table, who is, it seems, writing on thatsubject, assumed the argument; and though he ran through many instancesof sublimity from the ancient writers, said, he had hardly known anoccasion wherein the true greatness of soul, which animates a general inaction, is so well represented, with regard to the person of whom it wasspoken, and the time in which it was writ, as in a few lines in a modernpoem: "there is, " continued he, "nothing so forced and constrained, aswhat we frequently meet with in tragedies; to make a man under theweight of a great sorrow, or full of meditation upon what he is soon toexecute, cast about for a simile to what he himself is, or the thingwhich he is going to act: but there is nothing more proper and naturalthan for a poet, whose business is to describe, and who is spectator ofone in that circumstance when his mind is working upon a great image, and that the ideas hurry upon his imagination--I say, there is nothingso natural, as for a poet to relieve and clear himself from the burthenof thought at that time, by uttering his conception in simile andmetaphor. The highest act of the mind of man, is to possess itself withtranquillity in imminent danger, and to have its thoughts so free, as toact at that time without perplexity. The ancient poets have comparedthis sedate courage to a rock that remains immovable amidst the rage ofwinds and waves; but that is too stupid and inanimate a similitude, andcould do no credit to the hero. At other times they are all of themwonderfully obliged to a Lybian lion, which may give indeed veryagreeable terrors to a description; but is no compliment to the personto whom it is applied: eagles, tigers, and wolves, are made use of onthe same occasion, and very often with much beauty; but this is still anhonour done to the brute, rather than the hero. Mars, Pallas, Bacchus, and Hercules, have each of them furnished very good similes in theirtime, and made, doubtless, a greater impression on the mind of aheathen, than they have on that of a modern reader. But the sublimeimage that I am talking of, and which I really think as great as everentered into the thought of man, is in the poem called, 'TheCampaign';[422] where the simile of a ministering angel sets forth themost sedate and the most active courage, engaged in an uproar of nature, a confusion of elements, and a scene of divine vengeance. Add to all, that these lines compliment the General and his Queen at the same time, and have all the natural horrors, heightened by the image that was stillfresh in the mind of every reader. [423]

 "_'Twas then great Marlborough's mighty soul was proved, That, in the shock of charging hosts unmoved, Amidst confusion, horror, and despair, Examined all the dreadful scenes of war; In peaceful thought the field of death surveyed, To fainting squadrons sent the timely aid, Inspired repulsed battalions to engage, And taught the doubtful battle where to rage. So when an angel by divine command, With rising tempests shakes a guilty land, Such as of late o'er pale Britannia past, Calm and serene he drives the furious blast; And, pleased the Almighty's orders to perform, Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm. _

"The whole poem is so exquisitely noble and poetic, that I think it anhonour to our nation and language. " The gentleman concluded his critiqueon this work, by saying, that he esteemed it wholly new, and a wonderfulattempt to keep up the ordinary ideas of a march of an army, just asthey happened in so warm and great a style, and yet be at once familiarand heroic. Such a performance is a chronicle as well as a poem, andwill preserve the memory of our hero, when all the edifices and statueserected to his honour are blended with common dust. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 18. 

Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N. S. , say, that the Allieswere so forward in the siege of Tournay, that they were preparing for ageneral assault, which, it was supposed, would be made within a fewdays. Deserters from the town gave an account, that the garrison wascarrying their ammunition and provisions into the citadel, whichoccasioned a tumult among the inhabitants of the town. The French armyhad laid bridges over the Scarp, and made a motion as if they intendedto pass that river; but though they are joined by the reinforcementexpected from Germany, it was not believed they should make any attempttowards relieving Tournay. Letters from Brabant say, there has been adiscovery made of a design to deliver up Antwerp to the enemy. TheStates of Holland have agreed to a general naturalisation of allProtestants who shall fly into their dominions; to which purpose, aproclamation was to be issued within few days. 

They write from France, that the great misery and want under which thatnation has so long laboured, has ended in a pestilence, which began toappear in Burgundy and Dauphiné. They add, that in the town of Mazon, three hundred persons had died in the space of ten days. Letters fromLille of the 24th instant advise, that great numbers of deserters camedaily into that city, the most part of whom are dragoons. We are advisedfrom France, that the Loire having overflowed its banks, hath laid thecountry under water for three hundred miles together. 

[Footnote 416: See Nos. 1 and 11. In No. 29 of the _Guardian_ Steeleaccused the world of ingratitude in not properly "rewarding the jocoselabours of my friend, Mr. Durfey"; and in No. 67 Addison urged the townto go to a performance at the theatre given for Durfey's benefit. "Hehas made the town merry, and I hope they will make him easy, so long ashe stays among us. "]

[Footnote 417: Sir William Scawen, a merchant who was knighted in 1692. ]

[Footnote 418: Probably Sir Francis Child and Sir Stephen Evance, thebankers. The latter was ruined at the time of the South Sea mania. Thefollowing advertisement appeared in the _Postman_ for Jan. 1, 1709:"Lost or mislaid, some time the last summer, at Winchester House, inChelsea, a gold snuff-box, a cypher graved on the cover, with trophiesround it, and over the cypher these words, 'DD. Illust. Princ. Jac. DuciOrmond. ' Whoever brings it to Sir Stephen Evance, at the Black Boy inLombard Street, shall have ten guineas reward, and be asked noquestions. "]

[Footnote 419: This seems to be a banter upon Mr. Whiston's bookintituled, "Prælectiones Physicæ Mathematicæ; sive Philosophiaclarissimi Newtoni Mathematica illustrata, 1710"; wherein he explainedthe Newtonian philosophy, which now began to grow into vogue. BothAddison and Steele, however, very much befriended Whiston; and after hisbanishment from Cambridge, promoted a subscription for his astronomicallectures at Button's Coffee-house (Nichols). --See No. 251. ]

[Footnote 420: See No. 39. ]

[Footnote 421: Whiston had fixed that day for the destruction ofAnti-Christ and the beginning of the Millennium. ]

[Footnote 422: Written by Addison in 1705, in celebration of the victoryat Blenheim. ]

[Footnote 423: The great storm of November 1703 formed the subject of avolume published by Defoe in 1704. ]

No. 44. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, July 19_, to _Thursday, July 21_, 1709. 

 --Nullis amor est medicabilis herbis. OVID, Met. I. 523. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 19. 

This day, passing through Covent Garden, I was stopped in the Piazza byPacolet, to observe what he called the "triumph of love and youth. " Iturned to the object he pointed at; and there I saw a gay gilt chariotdrawn by fresh prancing horses; the coachman with a new cockade, and thelackeys with insolence and plenty in their countenances. I askedimmediately, what young heir or lover owned that glittering equipage?But my companion interrupted: "Do not you see there the mourningÆsculapius?"[424] "The mourning!" said I. "Yes, Isaac, " said Pacolet, "he is in deep mourning, and is the languishing hopeless lover of thedivine Hebe, the emblem of youth and beauty. The excellent and learnedsage you behold in that furniture, is the strongest instance imaginable, that love is the most powerful of all things. You are not so ignorant asto be a stranger to the character of Æsculapius, as the patron and mostsuccessful of all who profess the art of medicine. But as most of hisoperations are owing to a natural sagacity or impulse, he has verylittle troubled himself with the doctrine of drugs; but has always givenNature more room to help herself, than any of her learned assistants;and consequently has done greater wonders than is in the power of art toperform;[425] for which reason, he is half deified by the people; andhas ever been justly courted by all the world, as if he were a seventhson. It happened, that the charming Hebe was reduced, by a long andviolent fever, to the most extreme danger of death; and when all skillfailed, they sent for Æsculapius. The renowned artist was touched withthe deepest compassion to see the faded charms and faint bloom of Hebe;and had a generous concern in beholding a struggle, not between life, but rather between youth, and death. All his skill and his passiontended to the recovery of Hebe, beautiful even in sickness: but, alas!the unhappy physician knew not, that in all his care he was onlysharpening darts for his own destruction. In a word, his fortune was thesame with that of the statuary, who fell in love with the image of hisown making; and the unfortunate Æsculapius is become the patient of herwhom he lately recovered. Long before this disaster, Æsculapius was fargone in the unnecessary and superfluous amusements of old age, inincreasing unwieldy stores, and providing, in the midst of an incapacityof enjoyment of what he had, for a supply of more wants than he hadcalls for in youth itself. But these low considerations are now no more, and love has taken place of avarice, or rather has become an avarice ofanother kind, which still urges him to pursue what he does not want. Butbehold the metamorphosis; the anxious mean cares of an usurer are turnedinto the languishments and complaints of a lover. 'Behold, ' says theaged Æsculapius, 'I submit, I own, great Love, thy empire: pity, Hebe, the fop you have made: what have I to do with gilding but on pills? Yet, O fair! For thee I sit amidst a crowd of painted deities on my chariot, buttoned in gold, clasped in gold, without having any value for thatbeloved metal, but as it adorns the person, and laces the hat of thydying lover. I ask not to live, O Hebe! Give me but gentle death:euthanasia, euthanasia, that is all I implore. '" When Æsculapius hadfinished his complaint, Pacolet went on in deep morals on theuncertainty of riches, with this remarkable exclamation; "O wealth! Howimpotent art thou! And how little dost thou supply us with realhappiness, when the usurer himself can forget thee for the love of whatis as foreign to his felicity as thou art?"

Will's Coffee-house, July 19. 

The company here, who have all a delicate taste of theatricalrepresentations, had made a gathering to purchase the movables of theneighbouring playhouse, [426] for the encouragement of one which issetting up in the Haymarket. But the proceedings at the auction (bywhich method the goods have been sold this evening) have been so unfair, that this generous design has been frustrated; for the Imperial Mantlemade for Cyrus was missing, as also the Chariot and Two Dragons: butupon examination it was found, that a gentleman of Hampshire[427] hadclandestinely bought them both, and is gone down to his country seat;and that on Saturday last he passed through Staines attired in thatrobe, and drawn by the said Dragons, assisted by two only of his ownhorses. This theatrical traveller has also left orders with Mr. Hall[428] to send the faded rainbow to the scourers, and when it comeshome, to despatch it after him. At the same time C---- R----[429] Esq. Is invited to bring down himself his Setting Sun, and be box-keeper to atheatre erected by this gentleman near Southampton. Thus there has beennothing but artifice in the management of this affair; for which reasonI beg pardon of the town, that I inserted the inventory in my paper andsolemnly protest, I knew nothing of this artful design of vending theserarities: but I meant only the good of the world in that and all otherthings which I divulge. And now I am upon this subject, I must do myselfjustice in relation to an article in a former paper, wherein I mademention of a person who keeps a puppet-show in the town of Bath;[430] Iwas tender of naming names, and only just hinted, that he makes largerpromises, when he invites people to his dramatic representations, thanhe is able to perform: but I am credibly informed, that he makes aprofane lewd jester, which he calls Punch, speak to the dishonour ofIsaac Bickerstaff with great familiarity; and before all my learnedfriends in that place, takes upon him to dispute my title to theappellation of Esquire. I think I need not say much to convince all theworld, that this Mr. Powell (for that is his name) is a pragmatical andvain person to pretend to argue with me on any subject. _Mecum certasseferetur_[431]; that is to say, it will be an honour to him to have itsaid he contended with me; but I would have him to know, that I can lookbeyond his wires, and know very well the whole trick of his art, andthat it is only by these wires that the eye of the spectator is cheated, and hindered from seeing that there is a thread on one of Punch's chops, which draws it up, and lets it fall at the discretion of the saidPowell, who stands behind and plays him, and makes him speak saucily ofhis betters. He! to pretend to make prologues against me! But a mannever behaves himself with decency in his own case; therefore I shallcommand myself, and never trouble me further with this little fellow, who is himself but a tall puppet, and has not brains enough to make evenwood speak as it ought to do: and I, that have heard the groaningboard, [432] can despise all that his puppets shall be able to speak aslong as they live. But, _Ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius_[433]. He haspretended to write to me also from the Bath, and says, he thought tohave deferred giving me an answer till he came to his books[434]; butthat my writings might do well with the waters: which are pertexpressions that become a schoolboy, better than one that is to teachothers: and when I have said a civil thing to him, he cries, "Oh! Ithank you for that--I am your humble servant for that. "[435] Ah! Mr. Powell, these smart civilities will never run down men of learning: Iknow well enough your design is to have all men automata, like yourpuppets; but the world is grown too wise, and can look through thesethin devices. I know you design to make a reply to this; but be sure youstick close to my words; for if you bring me into discourses concerningthe government of your puppets, I must tell you, I neither am, nor havebeen, nor will be, at leisure to answer you. It is really a burningshame this man should be tolerated in abusing the world with suchrepresentations of things: but his parts decay, and he is not much morealive than Partridge. 

From my own Apartment, July 14. 

I must beg pardon of my readers that for this time I have, I fear, huddled up my discourse, having been very busy in helping an old friendof mine out of town. He has a very good estate, is a man of wit; but hehad been three years absent from town, and cannot bear a jest; forwhich reason I have, with some pains, convinced him, that he can nomore live here than if he were a downright bankrupt. He was so fond ofdear London, that he began to fret only inwardly; but being unable tolaugh and be laughed at, I took a place in the northern coach for himand his family; and hope he is got to-night safe from all sneerers inhis own parlour. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 20. 

This morning we received by express, the agreeable news of the surrenderof the town of Tournay on the 28th instant, N. S. The place was assaultedat the attacks of General Schuylemburg, and that of General Lottum, atthe same time. The action at both those parts of the town was veryobstinate, and the Allies lost a considerable number at the beginning ofthe dispute; but the fight was continued with so great bravery, that theenemy observing that we were masters of all the posts which werenecessary for a general attack, beat the chamade, [436] and hostages werereceived from the town, and others sent from the besiegers, in order tocome to a formal capitulation for the surrender of the place. We havealso this day received advice, that Sir John Leake, who lies off ofDunkirk, had intercepted several ships laden with corn from the Baltic;and that the Dutch privateers had fallen in with others, and carriedthem into Holland. The French letters advise, that the young son to theDuke of Anjou lived but eight days. 

[Footnote 424: Dr. John Radcliffe, the physician (1650-1714), wasdisappointed in love when about sixty. The matter is referred to againin Nos. 46, 47, 50 and 67. Radcliffe became rich, but was considered tobe a quack by many other doctors. "The last _Tatler_ is upon Dr. Ratclifwho they say is desparately in love with Dutchess of Bolton, his passionruns so high as to declare he'll make her eldest son his heir, upon wchaccount they say the Duke of B---- is not at all alarm'd, but gives theOld amorist opportunity to make his Court, the Dr. Lately gave theDutchess and some other Ladys an entertainm' of musick upon the water, and a fine supper in the Barge" ("Wentworth Papers, " p. 97). Thisidentification of Hebe with the Duchess of Bolton is corroborated by theMS. Annotator mentioned in a note to No. 4. According to another accountshe was a Miss Tempest, a maid of honour to the Queen. The writer of thearticle on Radcliffe in the "Biog. Britannica" says: "The lady, who madethe doctor, at this advanced age, stand in need of a physician himself, was of great beauty, wealth, and quality; and too attractive not toinspire the coldest heart with the warmest sentiments. After he had madea cure of her, he could not but imagine, as naturally he might, that herladyship would entertain a favourable opinion of him. But the lady, however grateful she might be for the care he had taken of her health, divulged the secret, and one of her confidants revealed it to Steele, who, on account of party, was so ill-natured as to write the ridicule ofit in the _Tatler_" Radcliffe never married. ]

[Footnote 425: I have a pamphlet called "The _Tatler's_ Character (July21) of Æsculapius guessing diseases, without the knowledge of drugs;applied to the British Physicians and Surgeons: or, The difficultdiseases of the Royal Family, Nobility and Gentry will never beunderstood and recover'd, when the populace are oppress'd and destroy'dby the Practising-Apothecaries and Empiricks confess'd by the Collegeand Mr. Bernard the Surgeon. By a Consultation of Gentlemen of Quality. "London, 8vo, 1709. The pamphlet contains some interesting remarks on thephysicians, apothecaries and hospitals of the time. Mr. Bickerstaff iscalled "the most ingenious physician of our vices and follies. "]

[Footnote 426: See No. 42. ]

[Footnote 427: A friend of Nichols said, "I have seen somewhere, butcannot immediately refer to the book, an account of a theatre built atSouthwick, in the county of Hants, by a Mr. Richard Norton, whose willis in the _Gentleman's Magazine_, 1733, p. 57. He is the person, Ibelieve, who wrote a play called 'Pausanias' (1696). Cibber dedicatedhis first play to him. " The MS. Annotator mentioned in No. 4 alsoidentifies the gentleman of Hampshire with "Mr. N----n. "]

[Footnote 428: An auctioneer. ]

[Footnote 429: Christopher Rich, the manager. ]

[Footnote 430: Under the name of Powell, the puppet-show man, Steeleattacked Dr. Blackall, Bishop of Exeter (see No. 37), who was engaged ina controversy with Benjamin Hoadly. In March 1709, Blackall preachedbefore the Queen a sermon laying down the doctrine of passive obediencein its most extreme form, but in 1704 he had preached obedience limitedby the laws of the State. Hoadly wrote against the sermon of 1709, andbrought against the Bishop the sermon of 1704. The Bishop, angry at thismode of refutation, answered haughtily, and dwelt on the superiority ofhis rank as compared with that of Hoadly, then simply rector of a Londonparish. Bickerstaff here reproaches Blackall for the pride and rudenessof his answer, and then, under the guise of Powell, proprietor of thepuppet-show, satirises the extreme doctrine of divine right taught bythe Bishop, a doctrine which would make the subjects mere automata, tobe moved only at the will of the prince. ]

[Footnote 431: Ovid, "Met. " xiii. 20. ]

[Footnote 432: The following printed advertisement appeared in 1682: "Atthe sign of the wool-sack, in Newgate-market, is to be seen, a strangeand wonderful thing, which is an elm-board, being touched with a hotiron, doth express itself, as if it were a man dying with groans, andtrembling, to the great admiration of all the hearers. It hath beenpresented before the King and his nobles, and hath given greatsatisfaction. _Vivat Rex_. "--(MSS. Sloan. 958. )]

[Footnote 433: "Ne e quovis ligno Mercurius fiat" is one of the proverbsin the "Adagia" of Erasmus. But its history, as originally from theGreek, is thus given in a note of Andr. Schottus, quoted by Gaisford inhis "Parcemiographia Græci, " p. 39, Ox. 1836:--"Illiud adagium ὀυκ ἐκπαντὸς ξύλου Ἕρμης ἂν γένοιτο [ouk ek pantòs zýlon Hermês àn génoito], quod a Pythagora primum profectum auctor est Apuleius 'Apol. '" [t. Ii. P. 499] (Ed. Marshall, "Notes and Queries, " March 26, 1887). SeeApuleius, "Apologia, " 476: "Non enim ex omni ligno, ut Pythagorasdicebat, debet Mercurius exsculpi. "]

[Footnote 434: In the Bishop's answer to Hoadly's letter, 1709, there isthis passage: "I have no books here; and being under thesecircumstances, I hope I may be excused, if, in citing Scripture, Ishould not always name chapter and verse, nor hit exactly upon the verywords of the translation" (Lord Bishop of Exeter's Answer, &c. , pp. 2and 3). --"As to the _Tatlers_ relating to Powell's puppets, and thedoctrines of passive obedience and absolute non-resistance, and toBishop Blackall, I know it gave my father some uneasiness, that there isa reference to a fact, which, as he resolved himself never to takenotice of, thinking it ungenerous, so he was sorry to see any friend ofthe cause had; which is, that the Bishop had said inadvertently, he wasat Bath, and had not a Bible in his family. It is worth remarking, thatall the arguments used by Powell about his power over Punch, 'lightinghis pipe with one of his legs, ' &c. , are a good burlesque of those usedby the advocates of non-resistance. "--(Dr. John Hoadly. )]

[Footnote 435: The Bishop, after quoting a respectful expression ofHoadly's, says, "Your servant, sir, for that. "]

[Footnote 436: A beat of the drum or sound of a trumpet, which summonsthe enemy to a parley. In _Spectator_, No. 165, Addison ridiculed theuse of this and other French war terms by English writers. ]

No. 45. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, July 21, to Saturday, July 23_, 1709. 

 Credo pudicitiam Saturno rege moratam In terris. Juv. , Sat. Vi. I. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 22. 

The other day I took a walk a mile or two out of town and strollingwherever chance led me, I was insensibly carried into a by-road, alongwhich was a very agreeable quickset, of an extraordinary height, whichsurrounded a very delicious seat and garden. From one angle of thehedge, I heard a voice cry, "Sir, sir--" This raised my curiosity, and Iheard the same voice say, but in a gentle tone, "Come forward, comeforward. " I did so, and one through the hedge called me by my name, andbade me go on to the left, and I should be admitted to visit an oldacquaintance in distress. The laws of knight-errantry made me obey thesummons without hesitation; and I was let in at the back gate of alovely house by a maid-servant, who carried me from room to room, untilI came into a gallery; at the end of which, I saw a fine lady dressed inthe most sumptuous habit, as if she were going to a ball, but with themost abject and disconsolate sorrow in her face that I ever beheld. As Icame near, she burst into tears, and cried, "Sir, do not you know theunhappy Teraminta?" I soon recollected her whole person: "But, " said I, "madam, the simplicity of dress, in which I have ever seen you at yourgood father's house, and the cheerfulness of countenance with which youalways appeared, are so unlike the fashion and temper you are now in, that I did not easily recover the memory of you. Your habit was thendecent and modest, your looks serene and beautiful: whence then thisunaccountable change? Nothing can speak so deep a sorrow as your presentaspect; yet your dress is made for jollity and revelling. " "It is, " saidshe, "an unspeakable pleasure to meet with one I know, and to bewailmyself to any that is not an utter stranger to humanity. When yourfriend my father died, he left me to a wide world, with no defenceagainst the insults of fortune, but rather, a thousand snares to entrapme in the dangers to which youth and innocence are exposed, in an agewherein honour and virtue are become mere words, and used only as theyserve to betray those who understand them in their native sense, andobey them as the guides and motives of their being. The wickedest of allmen living, the abandoned Decius, who has no knowledge of any good artor purpose of human life, but as it tends to the satisfaction of hisappetites, had opportunities of frequently seeing and entertaining me ata house where mixed company boarded, and where he placed himself for thebase intention which he has since brought to pass. Decius saw enough inme to raise his brutal desires, and my circumstances gave him hopes ofaccomplishing them. But all the glittering expectations he could laybefore me, joined by my private terrors of poverty itself, could not forsome months prevail upon me; yet, however I hated his intention, I stillhad a secret satisfaction in his courtship, and always exposed myself tohis solicitations. See here the bane of our sex! Let the flattery benever so apparent, the flatterer never so ill thought of, his praisesare still agreeable and we contribute to our own deceit. I was thereforeever fond of all opportunities and pretences of being in his company. Ina word, I was at last ruined by him, and brought to this place, where Ihave been ever since immured; and from the fatal day after my fall frominnocence, my worshipper became my master and my tyrant. Thus you see mehabited in the most gorgeous manner, not in honour of me as a woman heloves, but as this attire charms his own eye, and urges him to repeatthe gratification he takes in me, as the servant of his brutish lustsand appetites. I know not where to fly for redress; but am here piningaway life in the solitude and severity of a nun, but the conscience andguilt of a harlot. I live in this lewd practice with a religious awe ofmy minister of darkness, upbraided with the support I receive from him, for the inestimable possession of youth, of innocence, of honour, and ofconscience. I see, sir, my discourse grows painful to you; all I beg ofyou is, to paint in so strong colours, as to let Decius see I amdiscovered to be in his possession, that I may be turned out of thisdetestable scene of regular iniquity, and either think no more, or sinno more. If your writings have the good effect of gaining myenlargement, I promise you I will atone for this unhappy step, bypreferring an innocent laborious poverty, to all the guilty affluencethe world can offer me. "

Will's Coffee-house, July 21. 

To show that I do not bear an irreconcilable hatred to my mortal enemy, Mr. Powell at Bath, I do his function the honour to publish to theworld, that plays represented by puppets are permitted in ouruniversities, [437] and that sort of drama is not wholly thought unworthythe critic of learned heads: but as I have been conversant rather withthe greater Ode, as I think the critics call it, I must be so humble asto make a request to Mr. Powell, and desire him to apply his thoughtsto answering the difficulties with which my kinsman, the author of thefollowing letter, seems to be embarrassed. 

#"_To my Honoured Kinsman, Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. _#

"DEAR COUSIN, "Had the family of the Beadlestaffs, [438] whereof I, though unworthy, amone, known of your being lately at Oxon, we had in our own name, and inthe Universities' (as it is our office), made you a compliment: but yourshort stay here robbed us of an opportunity of paying our due respects, and you of receiving an ingenious entertainment, with which we atpresent divert ourselves and strangers. A puppet-show at this timesupplies the want of an Act. [439] And since the nymphs of this city aredisappointed of a luscious music-speech, and the country ladies ofhearing their sons or brothers speak verses; yet the vocal machines, like them, by the help of a prompter, say things as much to the benefitof the audience, and almost as properly their own. The licence of aTerræ-Filius[440] is refined to the well-bred satire of Punchinello. Now, Cousin Bickerstaff, though Punch has neither a French nightcap, norlong pockets, yet you must own him to be a pretty fellow, a 'very'pretty fellow: nay, since he seldom leaves the company, withoutcalling, 'Son of a whore, ' demanding satisfaction, and duelling, he mustbe owned a smart fellow too. Yet, by some indecencies towards theladies, he seems to be of a third character, distinct from any you haveyet touched upon. A young gentleman who sat next me (for I had thecuriosity of seeing this entertainment), in a tufted gown, redstockings, and long wig (which I pronounce to be tantamount to red heelsand a dangling cane[441]) was enraged when Punchinello disturbed a softlove-scene with his ribaldry. You would oblige us mightily by layingdown some rules for adjusting the extravagant behaviour of thisAlmanzor[442] of the play, and by writing a treatise on this sort ofdramatic poetry, so much favoured, and so little understood, by thelearned world. From its being conveyed in a cart after the Thespianmanner, all the parts being recited by one person, as the custom wasbefore Æschylus, and the behaviour of Punch as if he had won the goal, you may possibly deduce its antiquity, and settle the chronology, aswell as some of our modern critics. In its natural transitions, frommournful to merry; as, from the hanging of a lover, to dancing upon therope; from the stalking of a ghost, to a lady's presenting you with ajig; you may discover such a decorum, as is not to be found elsewherethan in our tragi-comedies. But I forget myself; it is not for me todictate: I thought fit, dear cousin, to give you these hints, to showyou that the Beadlestaffs don't walk before men of letters to nopurpose; and that though we do but hold up the train of arts andsciences, yet like other pages, we are now and then let into ourladies' secrets. I am, "Your most

"Affectionate Kinsman, "BENJAMIN BEADLESTAFF. 

"From Mother Gourdon's, at Hedington, [443] near Oxon, _June 18_. "

From my own Apartment, July 22. 

I am got hither safe, but never spent time with so little satisfactionas this evening; for you must know, I was five hours with three Merry, and two Honest Fellows. The former sang catches; and the latter evendied with laughing at the noise they made. "Well, " says Tom Belfrey, "you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst company in the world. ""Ay, " says his opposite, "you are dull to-night; prithee be merry. " Withthat I huzzaed, and took a jump across the table, then came clever uponmy legs, and fell a-laughing. "Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone, " says one ofthe Honest Fellows, "when he's in a good humour, he's as good company asany man in England. " He had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat offhis head, and clapped his upon my own, and burst out a-laughing again;upon which we all fell a-laughing for half an hour. One of the HonestFellows got behind me in the interim, and hit me a sound slap on theback; upon which he got the laugh out of my hands, and it was such atwang on my shoulders, that I confess he was much merrier than I. I washalf angry; but resolved to keep up the good humour of the company; andafter holloing as loud as I could possibly, I drank off a bumper ofclaret, that made me stare again. "Nay, " says one of the Honest Fellows, "Mr. Isaac is in the right, there is no conversation in this; whatsignifies jumping, or hitting one another on the back? Let's drinkabout. " We did so from seven o'clock till eleven; and now I am comehither, and, after the manner of the wise Pythagoras, begin to reflectupon the passages of the day. I remember nothing, but that I am bruisedto death; and as it is my way to write down all the good things I haveheard in the last conversation to furnish my paper, I can from this onlytell you my sufferings and my bangs. I named Pythagoras just now, and Iprotest to you, as he believed men after death entered into otherspecies, I am now and then tempted to think other animals enter intomen, and could name several on two legs, that never discover anysentiment above what is common with the species of a lower kind; as wesee in these bodily wits whom I was with to-night, whose parts consistin strength and activity; but their boisterous mirth gives me greatimpatience for the return of such happiness as I enjoyed in aconversation last week. Among others in that company, we had Florio, whonever interrupted any man living when he was speaking, or ever ceased tospeak, but others lamented that he had done. His discourse ever arisesfrom a fulness of the matter before him, and not from ostentation ortriumph of his understanding; for though he seldom delivers what he needfear being repeated, he speaks without having that end in view; and hisforbearance of calumny or bitterness, is owing rather to his good naturethan his discretion; for which reason, he is esteemed a gentlemanperfectly qualified for conversation, in whom a general goodwill tomankind takes off the necessity of caution and circumspection. We hadat the same time that evening the best sort of companion that can be, agood-natured old man. This person meets in the company of young men, veneration for his benevolence, and is not only valued for the goodqualities of which he is master, but reaps an acceptance from the pardonhe gives to other men's faults: and the ingenuous sort of men with whomhe converses, have so just a regard for him, that he rather is anexample, than a check to their behaviour. For this reason, as Senecionever pretends to be a man of pleasure before youth, so young men neverset up for wisdom before Senecio; so that you never meet, where he is, those monsters of conversation, who are grave or gay above their years. He never converses but with followers of nature and good sense, whereall that is uttered is only the effect of a communicable temper, and notof emulation to excel their companions; all desire of superiority beinga contradiction to that spirit which makes a just conversation, the veryessence of which is mutual goodwill. Hence it is, that I take it for arule, that the natural, and not the acquired man, is the companion. Learning, wit, gallantry, and good breeding, are all but subordinatequalities in society, and are of no value, but as they are subservientto benevolence, and tend to a certain manner of being or appearing equalto the rest of the company; for conversation is composed of an assemblyof men, as they are men, and not as they are distinguished by fortune:therefore he that brings his quality with him into conversation, shouldalways pay the reckoning; for he came to receive homage, and not to meethis friends--But the din about my ears from the clamour of the people Iwas with this evening, has carried me beyond my intended purpose, whichwas to explain upon the Order of Merry Fellows; but I think I maypronounce of them, as I heard good Senecio, with a spice of wit of thelast age, say, viz. That a Merry Fellow is the Saddest Fellow in theworld. 

[Footnote 437: See No. 44. Blackall was a bishop; and the University ofOxford had declared publicly in his favour. ]

[Footnote 438: See No. 11. ]

[Footnote 439: A meeting for conferring degrees, when speeches, &c. , aredelivered. ]

[Footnote 440: An undergraduate who made extempore speeches at the Act, often of a very satirical kind. Sometimes there were two _terræ filii_, who carried on a dialogue. In 1721, Amberst published a periodical withthe title "Terræ-Filius: or, The Secret History of the University ofOxford, " and these papers were reprinted in two volumes in 1726, with acurious engraving of the Theatre at Oxford, by Hogarth, asfrontispiece. ]

[Footnote 441: See No. 26. ]

[Footnote 442: In an Essay "Of Heroic Plays, " prefixed to his play, "Almanzor and Almahide; or, The Conquest of Granada, " Dryden defended atlength the character of Almanzor. ]

[Footnote 443: This village is the scene of Dr. William King's play, "Joan of Hedington" ("Works, " 1776, vol. Iii. P. 16). ]

No. 46. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, July 23_, to _Tuesday, July 26_, 1709. 

 Non bene conveniunt, nec in una sede morantur, Majestas et amor. OVID, Met. Ii. 846. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 25. 

We see every day volumes written against that tyrant of human lifecalled Love, and yet there is no help found against his cruelties, orbarrier against the inroads he is pleased to make into the mind of man. After this preface, you will expect I am going to give particularinstances of what I have asserted. That expectation cannot be raised toohigh for the novelty of the history, and manner of life, of the EmperorAurengezebe, [444] who has resided for some years in the cities of Londonand Westminster, with the air and mien indeed of his imperial quality, but the equipage and appointment only of a private gentleman. Thispotentate, for a long series of time, appeared from the hour of twelvetill that of two at a coffee-house near the 'Change, and had a seat(though without a canopy) sacred to himself, where he gave diurnalaudiences concerning commerce, politics, tare and tret, usury andabatement, with all things necessary for helping the distressed, whowere willing to give one limb for the better maintenance of the rest; orsuch joyous youths, whose philosophy is confined to the present hour, and were desirous to call in the revenue of next half-year to double theenjoyment of this. Long did this growing monarch employ himself afterthis manner: and as alliances are necessary to all great kingdoms, hetook particularly the interests of Lewis XIV. Into his care andprotection. When all mankind were attacking that unhappy monarch, andthose who had neither valour nor wit to oppose against him would bestill showing their impotent malice by laying wagers in opposition tohis interests, Aurengezebe ever took the part of his contemporary, andlaid immense treasures on his side in defence of his important magazineof Toulon. Aurengezebe also had all this while a constant intelligencewith India, and his letters were answered in jewels, which he soon madebrilliant, and caused to be affixed to his imperial castor, which healways wears cocked in front, to show his defiance; with a heap ofimperial snuff in the middle of his ample visage, to show his sagacity. The zealots for this little spot called Great Britain fell universallyinto this emperor's policies, and paid homage to his superior genius, inforfeiting their coffers to his treasury: but wealth and wisdom arepossessions too solemn not to give weariness to active minds, withoutthe relief (in vacant hours) of wit and love, which are the properamusements of the powerful and the wise: this emperor therefore, withgreat regularity, every day at five in the afternoon, leaves hismoney-changers, his publicans, and little hoarders of wealth, to theirlow pursuits, and ascends his chariot to drive to Will's; where thetaste is refined, and a relish given to men's possessions, by a politeskill in gratifying their passions and appetites. There it is that theemperor has learned to live and to love, and not, like a miser, to gazeonly on his ingots or his treasures; but with a nobler satisfaction, tolive the admiration of others, for his splendour and happiness in beingmaster of them. But a prince is no more to be his own caterer in hislove, than in his food; therefore Aurengezebe has ever in waiting twopurveyors for his dishes, and his wenches for his retired hours, by whomthe scene of his diversion is prepared in the following manner:

There is near Covent Garden a street known by the name of Drury, which, before the days of Christianity, was purchased by the Queen of Paphos, and is the only part of Great Britain where the tenure of vassalage isstill in being. All that long course of building is under particulardistricts or ladyships, after the manner of lordships in other parts, over which matrons of known abilities preside, and have, for the supportof their age and infirmities, certain taxes paid out of the rewards forthe amorous labours of the young. This seraglio of Great Britain isdisposed into convenient alleys and apartments, and every house, fromthe cellar to the garret, inhabited by nymphs of different orders, thatpersons of every rank may be accommodated with an immediate consort, toallay their flames, and partake of their cares. Here it is, that whenAurengezebe thinks fit to give a loose to dalliance, the purveyorsprepare the entertainments; and what makes it more august is, that everyperson concerned in the interlude has his set part, and the prince sendsbeforehand word what he designs to say, and directs also the very answerwhich shall be made to him. 

It has been before hinted, that this emperor has a continual commercewith India; and it is to be noted, that the largest stone that richearth has produced, is in our Aurengezebe's possession. 

But all things are now disposed for his reception. At his entrance intothe seraglio, a servant delivers him his bever of state and love, onwhich is fixed this inestimable jewel as his diadem. When he is seated, the purveyors, Pandarus and Nuncio, marching on each side of the matronof the house, introduce her into his presence. In the midst of the room, they bow altogether to the diadem. 

When the matron:

"Whoever thou art (as thy awful aspect speaks thee a man of power), bepropitious to this mansion of love, and let not the severity of thywisdom disdain, that by the representation of naked innocence, orpastoral figures, we revive in thee the memory at least of that power ofVenus, to which all the wise and the brave are some part of their livesdevoted. " Aurengezebe consents by a nod, and they go out backward. 

After this, an unhappy nymph, who is to be supposed just escaped fromthe hands of a ravisher, with her tresses dishevelled, runs into theroom with a dagger in her hand, and falls before the emperor. 

"Pity, oh! pity! whoever thou art, an unhappy virgin, whom one of thytrain has robbed of her innocence; her innocence, which was all herportion--Or rather, let me die like the memorable Lucretia--" Upon whichshe stabs herself. The body is immediately examined after the manner ofour coroners. Lucretia recovers by a cup of right Nantes; and thematron, who is her next relation, stops all process at law. 

This unhappy affair is no sooner over, but a naked mad woman breaks intothe room, calls for her duke, her lord, her emperor. As soon as shespies Aurengezebe, the object of all her fury and love, she calls forpetticoats, is ready to sink with shame, and is dressed in all haste innew attire at his charge. This unexpected accident of the mad womanmakes Aurengezebe curious to know, whether others who are in theirsenses can guess at his quality. For which reason the whole convent isexamined one by one. The matron marches in with a tawdry country girl:"Pray, Winifred, " says she, "who do you think that fine man with thosejewels and pearls is?" "I believe, " says Winifred, "it is our landlord. It must be the squire himself. " The emperor laughs at her simplicity. "Go, fool, " says the matron: then turning to the emperor, "Yourgreatness will pardon her ignorance!" After her, several others ofdifferent characters are instructed to mistake who he is in the samemanner: then the whole sisterhood are called together, and the emperorrises, and cocking his hat, declares, he is the Great Mogul, and theyhis concubines. A general murmur goes through the assembly, andAurengezebe certifying, that he keeps them for state rather than use, tells them, they are permitted to receive all men into their apartments;then proceeds through the crowd, among whom he throws medals shaped likehalf-crowns, and returns to his chariot. 

This being all that passed the last day in which Aurengezebe visited thewomen's apartments, I consulted Pacolet concerning the foundation ofsuch strange amusements in old age: to which he answered; "You mayremember, when I gave you an account of my good fortune in being drownedon the thirtieth day of my human life, I told you of the disasters Ishould otherwise have met with before I arrived at the end of my stamen, which was sixty years. I may now add an observation to you, that all whoexceed that period, except the latter part of it is spent in theexercise of virtue and contemplation of futurity, must necessarily fallinto an indecent old age, because, with regard to all the enjoyments ofthe years of vigour and manhood, childhood returns upon them: and asinfants ride on sticks, build houses in dirt, and make ships in gutters, by a faint idea of things they are to act hereafter; so old men play thelovers, potentates, and emperors, from the decaying image of the moreperfect performances of their stronger years: therefore be sure toinsert Æsculapius and Aurengezebe in your next bill of mortality of themetaphorically defunct. "

Will's Coffee-house, July 24. 

As soon as I came hither this evening, no less than ten people producedthe following poem, which they all reported was sent to each of them bythe penny post from an unknown hand. All the battle-writers in the roomwere in debate, who could be the author of a piece so martially written;and everybody applauded the address and skill of the author, in callingit a Postscript: it being the nature of a postscript to containsomething very material which was forgotten, or not clearly expressed inthe letter itself. Thus, the verses being occasioned by a march withoutbeat of drum, and that circumstance being no ways taken notice of in anyof the stanzas, the author calls it a postscript; not that it is apostscript, but figuratively, because it wants a postscript. Commonwriters, when what they mean is not expressed in the book itself, supplyit by a preface; but a postscript seems to me the more just way ofapology; because otherwise a man makes an excuse before the offence iscommitted. All the heroic poets were guessed at for its author; butthough we could not find out his name, yet one repeated a couplet in"Hudibras" which spoke his qualifications:

 _"I' th' midst of all this warlike rabble, Crowdero marched, expert and able"_[445]

The poem is admirably suited to the occasion: for to write withoutdiscovering your meaning, bears a just resemblance to marching withoutbeat of drum. 

#On the March to Tournay without Beat of Drum. #

#The Brussels POSTSCRIPT. #[446]

 Could I with plainest words express That great man's wonderful address, His penetration, and his towering thought; It would the gazing world surprise, To see one man at all times wise, To view the wonders he with ease has wrought. 

 Refining schemes approach his mind, Like breezes of a southern wind, To temperate a sultry glorious day; Whose fannings, with an useful pride, Its mighty heat doth softly guide, And having cleared the air, glide silently away. 

 Thus his immensity of thought Is deeply formed, and gently wrought, His temper always softening life's disease; That Fortune, when she does intend To rudely frown, she turns his friend, Admires his judgment, and applauds his ease. 

 His great address in this design, Does now, and will for ever shine, And wants a Waller but to do him right: The whole amusement was so strong, Like fate he doomed them to be wrong, And Tournay's took by a peculiar sleight. 

 Thus, madam, all mankind behold Your vast ascendant, not by gold, But by your wisdom, and your pious life; Your aim no more than to destroy That which does Europe's ease annoy, And supersede a reign of shame and strife. 

St. James's Coffee-house, July 24. 

My brethren of the quill, the ingenious society of news-writers, havingwith great spirit and elegance already informed the world, that the townof Tournay capitulated on the 28th instant, there is nothing left for meto say, but to congratulate the good company here, that we have reasonto hope for an opportunity of thanking Mr. Withers[447] next winter inthis place, for the service he has done his country. No man deservesbetter of his friends than that gentleman, whose distinguishingcharacter it is, that he gives his orders with the familiarity, andenjoys his fortune with the generosity, of a fellow-soldier. His Gracethe Duke of Argyle had also an eminent part in the reduction of thisimportant place. That illustrious youth[448] discovers the peculiarturn of spirit and greatness of soul which only make men of high birthand quality useful to their country; and considers nobility as animaginary distinction, unless accompanied with the practice of thosegenerous virtues by which it ought to be obtained. But[449] that ourmilitary glory is arrived at its present height, and that men of allranks so passionately affect their share in it, is certainly owing tothe merit and conduct of our glorious general; for as the great secretin chemistry, though not in nature, has occasioned many usefuldiscoveries; and the fantastic notion of being wholly disinterested infriendship, has made men do a thousand generous actions abovethemselves; so, though the present grandeur and fame of the Duke ofMarlborough is a station of glory to which no one hopes to arrive, yetall carry their actions to a higher pitch, by having that great examplelaid before them. 

[Footnote 444: "Aurenzeb is Tom Colson, who never had any friendshipwith anybody but S'r Edward Seymour, who brought him into Parliament"(Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, 29 July 1709; "Wentworth Papers, " p. 97). Thomas Coulson was elected M. P. For Totnes, with Sir Edward Seymour, Bart. , in 1698. He was re-elected in 1701, 1702, and in 1705. At theelection of 1708, Sir Edward Seymour, previously member for Exeter, waselected for Totnes; but in 1710, Sir Edward having transferred himselfto Great Bedwyn, Coulson again became member for Totnes. In 1715, Coulson's arrest was sought in the neighbourhood of Bristol for joiningin the rising on behalf of the Pretender; see a letter of Addison's inHist. MSS. Comm. , Second Report, p. 250. ]

[Footnote 445: "Hudibras, " part i. Canto ii. 105-6. Butler wrote, "I'the head, " &c. ]

[Footnote 446: "I should have given you a key to the two _Tatlers_ Isent you last, the Brussels Postscript are verses of Crowders. He show'dthem me in manuscript" (Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, 29 July 1709;"Wentworth Papers, " p. 97). See No. 17 note on Brigadier Crowther. ]

[Footnote 447: General Henry Withers commanded at the capitulation ofTournay. On his death in 1729, he was buried in Westminster Abbey. Popewrote an epitaph beginning:

 "Here, Withers, rest! thou bravest, gentlest mind, Thy country's friend, but more of human-kind. "]

[Footnote 448: John, second Duke of Argyle (1678-1743), took an activepart in the battles of Ramilies, Oudenarde, and Malplaquet, and at thesiege of Tournay. ]

[Footnote 449: There was a long-standing hostility between the Duke ofMarlborough and the Duke of Argyle. ]

No. 47. [STEELE. 

From _Tuesday, July 26_, to _Thursday, July 28_, 1709. 

 Quicquid agunt homines . . . Nostri farrago libelli. Juv. , Sat. I. 85, 86. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, July 27. 

My friend Sir Thomas[450] has communicated to me his letters from Epsomof the 25th instant, which give, in general, a very good account of theposture of affairs at present in that place; but that the tranquillityand correspondence[451] of the company begins to be interrupted by thearrival of Sir Taffety Trippet, [452] a fortune-hunter, whose folliesare too gross to give diversion; and whose vanity is too stupid to lethim be sensible that he is a public offence. But if people will indulgea splenetic humour, it is impossible to be at ease, when such creaturesas are the scandal of our species, set up for gallantry and adventures. It will be much more easy therefore to laugh him into reason, thanconvert him from his foppery by any serious contempt. I knew a gentlemanthat made it a maxim to open his doors, and ever run into the way ofbullies, to avoid their insolence. The rule will hold as well withcoxcombs: they are never mortified, but when they see you receive, anddespise them; otherwise they rest assured, that it is your ignorancemakes them out of your good graces; or, that it is only want ofadmittance prevents their being amiable where they are shunned andavoided. But Sir Taffety is a fop of so sanguine complexion, that I fearit will be very hard for the fair one he at present pursues to get ridof the chase, without being so tired, as for her own ease to fall intothe mouth of the mongrel she runs from. But the history of Sir Taffetyis as pleasant as his character. It happened, that when he first set upfor a fortune-hunter, he chose Tunbridge for the scene of action; wherewere at that time two sisters upon the same design. The knight believedof course the elder must be the better prize; and consequently makes allhis sail that way. People that want sense, do always in an egregiousmanner want modesty, which made our hero triumph in making his amour aspublic as was possible. The adored lady was no less vain of his publicaddresses. An attorney with one cause is not half so restless as a womanwith one lover. Wherever they met, they talked to each other aloud, chose each other partner at balls, saluted at the most conspicuous partsof the service at church, and practised in honour of each other all theremarkable particularities which are usual for persons who admire oneanother, and are contemptible to the rest of the world. These two loversseemed as much made for each other as Adam and Eve, and all pronouncedit a match of Nature's own making; but the night before the nuptials (souniversally approved), the younger sister, envious of the good fortuneeven of her sister, who had been present at most of their interviews, and had an equal taste for the charms of a fop (as there are a set ofwomen made for that order of men); the younger, I say, unable to see sorich a prize pass by her, discovered to Sir Taffety, that a coquetteair, much tongue, and three suits, was all the portion of his mistress. His love vanished that moment, himself and equipage the next morning. Itis uncertain where the lover has been ever since engaged; but certain itis, he has not appeared in his character as a follower of love andfortune till he arrived at Epsom, where there is at present a young ladyof youth, beauty, and fortune, who has alarmed[453] all the vain and theimpertinent to infest that quarter. At the head of this assembly, SirTaffety shines in the brightest manner, with all the accomplishmentswhich usually ensnare the heart of woman; with this particular merit(which often is of great service), that he is laughed at for her sake. The friends of the fair one are in much pain for the sufferings she goesthrough from the perseverance of this hero; but they may be much more sofrom the danger of his succeeding, toward which they give him a helpinghand, if they dissuade her with bitterness; for there is a fantasticalgenerosity in the sex, to approve creatures of the least meritimaginable, when they see the imperfections of their admirers are becomethe marks of derision for their sakes; and there is nothing so frequent, as that he who was contemptible to a woman in her own judgment, has wonher by being too violently opposed by others. 

Grecian Coffee-house, July 27. 

In the several capacities I bear, of astrologer, civilian, andphysician, I have with great application studied the public emolument:to this end serve all my lucubrations, speculations, and whatever otherlabours I undertake, whether nocturnal or diurnal. On this motive am Iinduced to publish a never-failing medicine for the spleen: myexperience in this distemper came from a very remarkable cure on my everworthy friend Tom Spindle, [454] who, through excessive gaiety, hadexhausted that natural stock of wit and spirits he had long been blessedwith: he was sunk and flattened to the lowest degree imaginable, sittingwhole hours over the "Book of Martyrs, " and "Pilgrim's Progress"; hisother contemplations never rising higher than the colour of his urine, or regularity of his pulse. In this condition I found him, accompaniedby the learned Dr. Drachm, and a good old nurse. Drachm had prescribedmagazines of herbs, and mines of steel. I soon discovered the malady, and descanted on the nature of it, till I convinced both the patient andhis nurse, that the spleen is not to be cured by medicine, but bypoetry. Apollo, the author of physic, shone with diffusive rays the bestof poets as well as of physicians; and it is in this double capacitythat I have made my way, and have found, sweet, easy, flowering numbers, are oft superior to our noblest medicines. When the spirits are low, andnature sunk, the muse, with sprightly and harmonious notes, gives anunexpected turn with a grain of poetry, which I prepare without the useof mercury. I have done wonders in this kind; for the spleen is like thetarantula, [455] the effects of whose malignant poison are to beprevented by no other remedy but the charms of music: for you are tounderstand, that as some noxious animals carry antidotes for their ownpoisons; so there is something equally unaccountable in poetry: forthough it is sometimes a disease, it is to be cured only by itself. NowI knowing Tom Spindle's constitution, and that he is not only a prettygentleman, but also a pretty poet, found the true cause of his distemperwas a violent grief that moved his affections too strongly: for duringthe late Treaty of Peace, he had written a most excellent poem on thatsubject; and when he wanted but two lines in the last stanza forfinishing the whole piece, there comes news that the French tyrant wouldnot sign. Spindle in few days took his bed, and had lain there still, had not I been sent for. I immediately told him, there was greatprobability the French would now sue to us for peace. I saw immediatelya new life in his eyes; and knew, that nothing could help him forwardso well, as hearing verses which he would believe worse than his own; Iread him therefore the "Brussels Postscript";[456] after which I recitedsome heroic lines of my own, which operated so strongly on the tympanumof his ear, that I doubt not but I have kept out all other sounds for afortnight; and have reason to hope, we shall see him abroad the daybefore his poem. This you see, is a particular secret I have found out, viz. , that you are not to choose your physician for his knowledge inyour distemper, but for having it himself. Therefore I am at hand forall maladies arising from poetical vapours, beyond which I neverpretend. For being called the other day to one in love, I took indeedtheir three guineas, and gave them my advice; which was, to send forÆsculapius. [457] Æsculapius, as soon as he saw the patient, cries out, "'Tis love! 'tis love! Oh! the unequal pulse! these are the symptoms alover feels; such sighs, such pangs, attend the uneasy mind; nor can ourart, or all our boasted skill, avail--Yet O fair! for thee--" Thus thesage ran on, and owned the passion which he pitied, as well as that hefelt a greater pain than ever he cured. After which he concluded, "All Ican advise, is marriage: charms and beauty will give new life andvigour, and turn the course of nature to its better prospect. " This isthe new way; and thus Æsculapius has left his beloved powders, andwrites a recipe for a wife at sixty. In short, my friend followed theprescription, and married youth and beauty in its perfect bloom. 

 _Supine in Silvia's snowy arms he lies, And all the busy care of life defies: Each happy hour is filled with fresh delight, While peace the day, and pleasure crowns the night. _

From my own Apartment, July 27. 

Tragical passion was the subject of the discourse where I last visitedthis evening; and a gentleman who knows that I am at present writing avery deep tragedy, directed his discourse in a particular manner to me. "It is the common fault, " said he, "of you, gentlemen, who write in thebuskin style, that you give us rather the sentiments of such who beholdtragical events, than of such who bear a part in them themselves. Iwould advise all who pretend this way, to read Shakespeare with care, and they will soon be deterred from putting forth what is usually called'tragedy. ' The way of common writers in this kind, is rather thedescription, than the expression of sorrow. There is no medium in theseattempts; and you must go to the very bottom of the heart, or it is allmere language; and the writer of such lines is no more a poet, than aman is a physician for knowing the names of distempers, without thecauses of them. Men of sense are professed enemies to all such emptylabours: for he who pretends to be sorrowful, and is not, is a wretchyet more contemptible than he who pretends to be merry, and is not. Sucha tragedian is only maudlin drunk. " The gentleman went on with muchwarmth; but all he could say had little effect upon me: but when I camehither, I so far observed his counsel, that I looked into Shakespeare. The tragedy I dipped into was, "Harry the Fourth. " In the scene whereMorton is preparing to tell Northumberland of his son's death, the oldman does not give him time to speak, but says, "_The whiteness of thy cheeks Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand; Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless, So dull, so dead in look, so woebegone, Drew Priam's curtain at the dead of night, And would have told him half his Troy was burnt: But Priam found the fire, ere he his tongue, And I my Percy's death ere thou reportest it_"[458]

The image in this place is wonderfully noble and great; yet this man inall this is but rising towards his great affliction, and is still enoughhimself, as you see, to make a simile: but when he is certain of hisson's death, he is lost to all patience, and gives up all the regards ofthis life; and since the last of evils is fallen upon him, he calls forit upon all the world. 

 "_Now let not Nature's hand Keep the wild flood confined; let Order die, And let the world no longer be a stage, To feed contention in a lingering act; But let one spirit of the firstborn Cain Reign in all bosoms, that each heart being set On bloody courses, the wide scene may end, And darkness be the burier of the dead_. "

Reading but this one scene has convinced me, that he who describes theconcern of great men, must have a soul as noble, and as susceptible ofhigh thoughts, as they whom he represents: I shall therefore lay by mydrama for some time, and turn my thoughts to cares and griefs, somewhatbelow that of heroes, but no less moving. A misfortune proper for me totake notice of, has too lately happened: the disconsolate Maria[459] hasthree days kept her chamber for the loss of the beauteous Fidelia, herlap-dog. Lesbia herself[460] did not shed more tears for her sparrow. What makes her the more concerned, is, that we know not whether Fideliawas killed or stolen; but she was seen in the parlour window when thetrain-bands went by, and never since. Whoever gives notice of her, deador alive, shall be rewarded with a kiss of her lady. 

[Footnote 450: See No. 16. ]

[Footnote 451: Intercourse. ]

[Footnote 452: Henry Cromwell (died 1728) was a correspondent of Pope's, and a friend of Wycherley's. "I cannot choose, " wrote Mrs. ElizabethThomas, "but be pleased with the conquest of a person whose fame ourincomparable Tatler has rendered immortal, by the three distinguishingtitles of 'Squire Easy the amorous bard'; 'Sir Timothy the critic'; and'Sir Taffety Trippet the fortune-hunter'" ("Pylades and Corinna, " i. 96, 194). See also Nos. 49, 165. Cromwell was a man about town, of privatemeans, with property in Lincolnshire, who had contributed verses toTonson's "Miscellany. " Gay ("Mr. Pope's Welcome from Greece, " st. Xvii. )speaks of "Honest, hatless Cromwell, with red breeches. "]

[Footnote 453: Called forth, drawn as with an alarum. ]

[Footnote 454: Henry Cromwell; see note on p. 380. According to anothersuggestion, Spindle is intended for Thomas Tickell, who published apoem, "The Prospect of Peace, " in 1713; but it is not probable that in1709 either Addison or Steele would have satirised him; and Cromwell mayvery likely have written verses on the same subject. ]

[Footnote 455: A spider named from Tarentum, in Apulia. Strange storieswere told of the effects of its bite, and of their cure by music anddancing. ]

[Footnote 456: See No. 46. ]

[Footnote 457: Dr. Radcliffe. See No. 44. ]

[Footnote 458: 2 Henry IV. , act i. Sc. I. ]

[Footnote 459: "This _Tatler_ I know nothing of, only they say theDutchess of Montague has lately lost a bitch she call'd fidel, and hashad it cry'd. "--(Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby; "Wentworth Papers, " p. 97. )]

[Footnote 460: See Catullus, passim. ]

No. 48. [STEELE. 

From _Thursday, July 28_, to _Saturday, July 30_, 1709. 

 --Virtutem verba putant, et Lucum ligna. HOR. , 1 Ep. Vi. 31. 

 * * * * *

From my own Apartment, July 29. 

This day I obliged Pacolet to entertain me with matters which regardedpersons of his own character and occupation. We chose to take our walkon Tower Hill; and as we were coming from thence in order to stroll asfar as Garraway's, [461] I observed two men, who had but just landed, coming from the waterside. I thought there was something uncommon intheir mien and aspect; but though they seemed by their visage to berelated, yet was there a warmth in their manner, as if they differedvery much in their sentiments of the subject on which they were talking. One of them seemed to have a natural confidence, mixed with an ingeniousfreedom in his gesture, his dress very plain, but very graceful andbecoming: the other, in the midst of an overbearing carriage, betrayed(by frequently looking round him) a suspicion that he was not enoughregarded by those he met, or that he feared they would make some attackupon him. This person was much taller than his companion, and added tothat height the advantage of a feather in his hat, and heels to hisshoes so monstrously high, that he had three or four times fallen down, had he not been supported by his friend. They made a full stop as theycame within a few yards of the place where we stood. The plain gentlemanbowed to Pacolet; the other looked on him with some displeasure: uponwhich I asked him, who they both were, when he thus informed me of theirpersons and circumstances. 

"You may remember, Mr. Isaac, that I have often told you, there arebeings of a superior rank to mankind, who frequently visit thehabitations of men, in order to call them from some wrong pursuits inwhich they are actually engaged, or divert them from methods which willlead them into errors for the future. He that will carefully reflectupon the occurrences of his life, will find he has been sometimesextricated out of difficulties, and received favours where he couldnever have expected such benefits; as well as met with cross events fromsome unseen hand, which have disappointed his best laid designs. Suchaccidents arrive from the interventions of aërial beings, as they arebenevolent or hurtful to the nature of man, and attend his steps in thetracts of ambition, of business, and of pleasure. Before I ever appearedto you in the manner I do now, I have frequently followed you in yourevening walks, and have often, by throwing some accident in your way, asthe passing by of a funeral, or the appearance of some other solemnobject, given your imagination a new turn, and changed a night you haddestined to mirth and jollity, into an exercise of study andcontemplation. I was the old soldier who met you last summer in ChelseaFields, and pretended that I had broken my wooden leg, and could not gethome; but I snapped it short off on purpose, that you might fall intothe reflections you did on that subject, and take me into your hack. Ifyou remember, you made yourself very merry on that fracture, and askedme, whether I thought I should next winter feel cold in the toes of thatleg? As is usually observed, that those who lose limbs, are sensible ofpains in the extreme parts, even after those limbs are cut off. However, my keeping you then in the story of the battle of the Boyne, preventedan assignation, which would have led you into more disasters than I thenrelated. 

"To be short; those two persons you see yonder, are such as I am; theyare not real men, but are mere shades and figures: one is named Alethes;the other, Verisimilis. Their office is to be the guardians andrepresentatives of Conscience and Honour. They are now going to visitthe several parts of the town, to see how their interests in the worlddecay or flourish, and to purge themselves from the many falseimputations they daily meet with in the commerce and conversation ofmen. You observed Verisimilis frowned when he first saw me. What he isprovoked at, is, that I told him one day, though he strutted and dressedwith so much ostentation, if he kept himself within his own bounds, hewas but a lackey, and wore only that gentleman's livery whom he is nowwith. This frets him to the heart; for you must know, he has pretended along time to set up for himself, and gets among a crowd of the moreunthinking part of mankind, who take him for a person of the firstquality; though his introduction into the world was wholly owing to hispresent companion. "

This encounter was very agreeable to me, and I was resolved to dogthem, and desired Pacolet to accompany me. I soon perceived what he toldme in the gesture of the persons: for when they looked at each other indiscourse, the well-dressed man suddenly cast down his eyes, anddiscovered that the other had a painful superiority over him. After somefurther discourse, they took leave. The plain gentleman went downtowards Thames Street, in order to be present, at least, at the oathstaken at the Custom-house; and the other made directly for the heart ofthe city. It is incredible how great a change there immediately appearedin the man of honour when he got rid of his uneasy companion: headjusted the cock of his hat anew, settled his sword-knot, and had anappearance that attracted a sudden inclination for him and his interestsin all who beheld him. "For my part, " said I to Pacolet, "I cannot butthink you are mistaken in calling this person, of the lower quality; forhe looks much more like a gentleman than the other. Don't you observeall eyes are upon him as he advances: how each sex gazes at his stature, aspect, address, and motion?" Pacolet only smiled, and shaked his head;as leaving me to be convinced by my own further observation. We kept onour way after him till we came to Exchange Alley, where the plaingentleman again came up to the other; and they stood together after themanner of eminent merchants, as if ready to receive application; but Icould observe no man talk to either of them. The one was laughed at as afop; and I heard many whispers against the other, as a whimsical sort offellow, and a great enemy to trade. They crossed Cornhill together, andcame into the full 'Change, where some bowed, and gave themselves airsin being known to so fine a man as Verisimilis, who, they said, hadgreat interests in all princes' courts; and the other was taken noticeof by several as one they had seen somewhere long before. One moreparticularly said, he had formerly been a man of consideration in theworld; but was so unlucky, that they who dealt with him, by some strangeinfatuation or other, had a way of cutting off their own bills, and wereprodigiously slow in improving their stock. But as much as I was curiousto observe the reception these gentlemen met with upon 'Change, I couldnot help being interrupted by one that came up towards us, to whomeverybody made their compliments. He was of the common height, and inhis dress there seemed to be great care to appear no way particular, except in a certain exact and feat[462] manner of behaviour andcircumspection. He was wonderfully careful that his shoes and clothesshould be without the least speck upon them; and seemed to think, thaton such an accident depended his very life and fortune. There was hardlya man on 'Change who had not a note upon him; and each seemed very wellsatisfied that their money lay in his hands, without demanding payment. I asked Pacolet, what great merchant that was, who was so universallyaddressed to, yet made too familiar an appearance to command thatextraordinary deference? Pacolet answered, "This person is the demon orgenius of credit: his name is Umbra. If you observe, he follows Alethesand Verisimilis at a distance; and indeed has no foundation for thefigure he makes in the world, but that he is thought to keep their cash;though at the same time, none who trust him would trust the others for agroat. " As the company rolled about, the three spectres were jumbledinto one place: when they were so, and all thought there was an alliancebetween them, they immediately drew upon them the business of the whole'Change. But their affairs soon increased to such an unwieldy bulk, thatAlethes took his leave, and said, he would not engage further than hehad an immediate fund to answer. Verisimilis pretended that though hehad revenues large enough to go on his own bottom, yet it was below oneof his family to condescend to trade in his own name; therefore he alsoretired. I was extremely troubled to see the glorious mart of Londonleft with no other guardian, but him of credit. But Pacolet told me, that traders had nothing to do with the honour or conscience of theircorrespondents, provided they supported a general behaviour in theworld, which could not hurt their credit or their purses: "for, " saidhe, "you may in this one tract of building of London and Westminster seethe imaginary motives on which the greatest affairs move, as well as inrambling over the face of the earth. For though Alethes is the realgovernor, as well as legislator of mankind, he has very little businessbut to make up quarrels, and is only a general referee, to whom everyman pretends to appeal; but is satisfied with his determinations nofurther than they promote his own interest. Hence it is, that thesoldier and the courtier model their actions according to Verisimilis'manner, and the merchant according to that of Umbra. Among these men, honour and credit are not valuable possessions in themselves, or pursuedout of a principle of justice; but merely as they are serviceable toambition and to commerce. But the world will never be in any manner oforder or tranquillity, till men are firmly convinced, that conscience, honour, and credit, are all in one interest; and that without theconcurrence of the former, the latter are but impositions upon ourselvesand others. The force these delusive words have, is not seen in thetransactions of the busy world only, but also have their tyranny overthe fair sex. Were you to ask the unhappy Lais, what pangs ofreflection, preferring the consideration of her honour to herconscience, has given her? She could tell you, that it has forced her todrink up half a gallon this winter of Tom Dassapas' potions; that shestill pines away for fear of being a mother; and knows not, but themoment she is such, she shall be a murderess: but if conscience had asstrong a force upon the mind, as honour, the first step to her unhappycondition had never been made; she had still been innocent, as she'sbeautiful. Were men so enlightened and studious of their own good, as toact by the dictates of their reason and reflection, and not the opinionof others, Conscience would be the steady ruler of human life; and thewords, Truth, Law, Reason, Equity, and Religion, would be but synonymousterms for that only guide which makes us pass our days in our own favourand approbation. "

[Footnote 461: A coffee-house in Exchange Alley, Cornhill, with anauction-room on the first floor, where wine and other things were sold(see No, 147). Thomas Garway was originally a tobacconist andcoffee-man. Defoe ("Journey through England") says that thiscoffee-house was frequented by "the people of quality who have businessin the City, and the most considerable and wealthy citizens. "]

[Footnote 462: Adroit. ]

No. 49. [STEELE. 

From _Saturday, July 30_, to _Tuesday, August 2, 1709. _

 Quicquid agunt homines . . . Nostri farrago libelli. JUV. , Sat. I. 85, 86. 

 * * * * *

White's Chocolate-house, August 1. 

The imposition of honest names and words upon improper subjects, hasmade so regular a confusion amongst us, that we are apt to sit down withour errors, well enough satisfied with the methods we are fallen into, without attempting to deliver ourselves from the tyranny under which weare reduced by such innovations. Of all the laudable motives of humanlife, none has suffered so much in this kind as love; under whichrevered name, a brutal desire called lust is frequently concealed andadmitted; though they differ as much as a matron from a prostitute, or acompanion from a buffoon. Philander[463] the other day was bewailingthis misfortune with much indignation, and upbraided me for having sometime since quoted those excellent lines of the satirist:

 _To an exact perfection they have brought The action love, the passion is forgot. _[464]

"How could you, " said he, "leave such a hint so coldly? How couldAspasia[465] and Sempronia[466] enter into your imagination at the sametime, and you never declare to us the different reception you gave them?The figures which the ancient mythologists and poets put upon love andlust in their writings, are very instructive. Love is a beauteous blindchild, adorned with a quiver and a bow, which he plays with, and shootsaround him, without design or direction; to intimate to us, that theperson beloved has no intention to give us the anxieties we meet with;but that the beauties of a worthy object are like the charms of a lovelyinfant: they cannot but attract your concern and fondness, though thechild so regarded is as insensible of the value you put upon it, as itis that it deserves your benevolence. On the other side, the sagesfigured Lust in the form of a satyr; of shape, part human, part bestial;to signify, that the followers of it prostitute the reason of a man topursue the appetites of a beast. This satyr is made to haunt the pathsand coverts of the wood-nymphs and shepherdesses, to lurk on the banksof rivulets, and watch the purling streams (as the resorts of retiredvirgins), to show, that lawless desire tends chiefly to prey uponinnocence, and has something so unnatural in it, that it hates its ownmake, and shuns the object it loved, as soon as it has made it likeitself. Love therefore is a child that complains and bewails itsinability to help itself, and weeps for assistance, without an immediatereflection of knowledge of the food it wants: Lust, a watchful thiefwhich seizes its prey, and lays snares for its own relief; and itsprincipal object being innocence, it never robs, but it murders at thesame time. From this idea of a Cupid and a Satyr, we may settle ournotion of these different desires, and accordingly rank their followers. Aspasia must therefore be allowed to be the first of the beauteous Orderof Love, whose unaffected freedom, and conscious innocence, give her theattendance of the graces in all her actions. That awful distance whichwe bear towards her in all our thoughts of her, and that cheerfulfamiliarity with which we approach her, are certain instances of herbeing the truest object of love of any of her sex. In this accomplishedlady, love is the constant effect, because it is never the design. Yet, though her mien carries much more invitation than command, to behold heris an immediate check to loose behaviour; and to love her is a liberaleducation:[467] for, it being the nature of all love to create animitation of the beloved person in the lover, a regard for Aspasianaturally produces decency of manners, and good conduct of life in heradmirers. If therefore the giggling Lucippe could but see her train offops assembled, and Aspasia move by them, she would be mortified at theveneration with which she is beheld, even by Lucippe's own unthinkingequipage, whose passions have long taken leave of their understandings. But as charity is esteemed a conjunction of the good qualities necessaryto a virtuous man, so love is the happy composition of all theaccomplishments that make a fine gentleman. The motive of a man's lifeis seen in all his actions; and such as have the beauteous boy for theirinspirer have a simplicity of behaviour, and a certain evenness ofdesire, which burns like the lamp of life in their bosoms; while theywho are instigated by the satyr are ever tortured by jealousies of theobject of their wishes; often desire what they scorn, and as oftenconsciously and knowingly embrace where they are mutually indifferent. 

Florio, the generous husband, and Limberham, the "kind keeper, "[468] arenoted examples of the different effects which these desires produce inthe mind. Amanda, who is the wife of Florio, lives in the continualenjoyment of new instances of her husband's friendship, and sees it theend of all his ambition to make her life one series of pleasure andsatisfaction; and Amanda's relish of the goods of life, is all thatmakes them pleasing to Florio: they behave themselves to each other whenpresent with a certain apparent benevolence, which transports aboverapture; and they think of each other in absence with a confidenceunknown to the highest friendship: their satisfactions are doubled, their sorrows lessened by participation. On the other hand, Corinna, whois the mistress of Limberham, [469] lives in constant torment: herequipage is, an old woman, who was what Corinna is now; an antiquatedfootman, who was pimp to Limberham's father; and a chambermaid, who isLimberham's wench by fits, out of a principle of politics to make herjealous and watchful of Corinna. Under this guard, and in thisconversation, Corinna lives in state: the furniture of her habitation, and her own gorgeous dress, make her the envy of all the strollingladies in the town; but Corinna knows she herself is but part ofLimberham's household stuff, and is as capable of being disposed ofelsewhere, as any other movable. But while her keeper is persuaded byhis spies, that no enemy has been within his doors since his last visit, no Persian prince was ever so magnificently bountiful: a kind look orfalling tear is worth a piece of brocade, a sigh is a jewel, and a smileis a cupboard of plate. All this is shared between Corinna and her guardin his absence. With this great economy and industry does the unhappyLimberham purchase the constant tortures of jealousy, the favour ofspending his estate, and the opportunity of enriching one by whom heknows he is hated and despised. These are the ordinary and common evilswhich attend keepers, and Corinna is a wench but of common size ofwickedness. Were you to know what passes under the roof where the fairMessalina reigns with her humble adorer! Messalina is the professedmistress of mankind; she has left the bed of her husband and herbeauteous offspring, to give a loose to want of shame and fulness ofdesire. Wretched Nocturnus, her feeble keeper! How the poor creaturefribbles in his gait, and scuttles from place to place to despatch hisnecessary affairs in painful daylight, that he may return to theconstant twilight preserved in that scene of wantonness, Messalina'sbedchamber. How does he, while he is absent from thence, consider in hisimagination the breadth of his porter's shoulders, the spruce nightcapof his valet, the ready attendance of his butler! Any of all whom heknows she admits, and professes to approve of. This, alas! is thegallantry; this the freedom of our fine gentlemen: for this theypreserve their liberty, and keep clear of that bugbear, marriage. But hedoes not understand either vice or virtue, who will not allow, that lifewithout the rules of morality is a wayward uneasy being, with snatchesonly of pleasure; but under the regulation of virtue, a reasonable anduniform habit of enjoyment. I have seen in a play of old Heywood's, aspeech at the end of an act, which touched this point with much spirit. He makes a married man in the play, upon some endearing occasion, lookat his spouse with an air of fondness, and fall into the followingreflection on his condition:

 "_O Marriage! happiest, easiest, safest state; Let debauchees and drunkards scorn thy rights, Who, in their nauseous draughts and lusts, profane Both thee and Heaven by whom thou wert ordained. How can the savage call it loss of freedom, Thus to converse with, thus to gaze at A faithful, beauteous friend? Blush not, my fair one, that thy love applauds thee, Nor be it painful to my wedded wife, That my full heart overflows in praise of thee. Thou art by law, by interest, passion, mine: Passion and reason join in love of thee. Thus, through a world of calumny and fraud, We pass both unreproached, both undeceived; While in each other's interest and happiness, We without art all faculties employ, And all our senses without guilt enjoy_. "

St. James's Coffee-house August 1. 

Letters from the Hague of the 6th instant, N. S. , say, that there dailyarrive at our camp deserters in considerable numbers; and that severalof the enemy concealed themselves in the town of Tournay when thegarrison marched into the citadel; after which, they presentedthemselves to the Duke of Marlborough; some of whom were commissionedofficers. The Earl of Albemarle is appointed governor of the town. Soonafter the surrender, there arose a dispute about a considerable work, which was asserted by the Allies to be part of the town, and by theFrench to belong to the citadel. It is said, Monsieur de Surville was soingenious as to declare, he thought it to be comprehended within thelimits of the town; but Monsieur de Mesgrigny, governor of the citadel, was of a contrary opinion. It is reported, that this affair occasionedgreat difficulties, which ended in a capitulation for the citadelitself; the principal article of which is, that it shall be surrenderedon the 5th of September next, in case they are not in the meantimerelieved. This circumstance gives foundation to believe, that the enemyhave acted in this manner, rather from some hopes they conceive of atreaty of peace before that time, than any expectation from their army, which has retired towards their former works between Lens and La Bassée. These advices add, that his Excellency the Czarish Ambassador hascommunicated to the States-General, and the foreign Ministers residingat the Hague, a copy of a letter from his master's camp, which gives anaccount of the entire defeat of the Swedish army. They further say, thatCount Piper is taken prisoner, and that it is doubted whether the Kingof Sweden himself was not killed in the action. We hear from Savoy, thatCount Thaun having amused the enemy by a march as far as the Tarantaise, had suddenly repassed Mount Cenis, and moved towards Briançon. Thisunexpected disposition is apprehended by the enemy as a piece of theDuke of Savoy's dexterity; and the French adding this circumstance tothat of the Confederate squadron's lying before Toulon, convincethemselves, that his royal highness has his thoughts upon the executionof some great design in those parts. 

[Footnote 463: See No. 13. ]

[Footnote 464: See No. 5. ]

[Footnote 465: Lady Elizabeth Hastings (see No. 42). ]

[Footnote 466: See No. 33. ]

[Footnote 467: In the _Spectator_ for March 29, 1884, Mr. Swinburnepublished a letter saying that Steele was not the author of these famouswords, --"the most exquisite tribute ever paid to the memory of a noblewoman"; for the article in No. 42 was by Congreve. But Mr. JustinMcCarthy afterwards pointed out that these words occur in No. 49, notNo. 42; and whether or no Congreve wrote the paper in No. 42 which is atleast doubtful--the article in No. 49 is certainly Steele's. ]

[Footnote 468: The title of one of Dryden's plays. ]

[Footnote 469: Henry Cromwell and Mrs. Elizabeth Thomas. See No. 47. ]

END OF VOL. I. 

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