THE STORY OF TIM _Translated from the Russian_ BY GEORGE BORROW LONDON: PRINTED FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION 1913 INTRODUCTION The Russians have three grand popular tales, the subjects of which arethievish adventures. One is called the _Story of Klim_, another iscalled the _Story of Tim_, and the third is called the _Story of Tom_. Below we present a translation of the _Story of Tim_. That part of the tale in which Tim inquires of the drowsy Archimandriteas to the person to whom the stolen pelisse is to be awarded, differs inno material point from a portion of a tale narrated in the Turkishstory-book of the lady and the forty vizirs. The concluding part, however, in which we are told how Tim’s comrades twice stole the pig fromhim, and how he twice regained it, is essentially Russian, and isoriginal. THE STORY OF TIM In a certain village there lived an old man who had lost almost the wholeof his hair, partly from age, and partly from the friction of his furcap, which he never laid aside, either by day or night. He had ahelpmeet as ancient as himself, but who differed from him in having ahump. Our story, however, does not relate to them, but to a son oftheirs, called Timoney, who was a sharp lad enough, but who had learntnothing but to play on the fife. The old man thinking that music, however sweet, would never fill the belly, and that it was quiteimpossible to live on an empty stomach, determined to have the boy taughtsome trade, but ere fixing on what it should be, he deemed it expedientto consult his old woman on the subject; and, accordingly, requested heropinion, adding that he would wish to see the boy either a blacksmith, ora tailor. “No!” cried the old woman. “I’ll have him neither the one nor the other. The blacksmith by always going amidst fire and soot is so begrimed thathe looks rather like a devil than a man. Would you make a monster ofhim? As for a tailor—I don’t deny that tailoring is a rare art, butsitting doubled up, in a little time brings on a consumption. ” “Then what would you make of him?” cried the old man. “Make of him?” said she; “why a goldsmith or a painter, or somethingsimilar. ” “And do you know, ” said the old man, “how much money one must lay down tohave him bound either to a goldsmith or a painter? Why he would swallowup all we have, or more. ” They disputed so long, that they almost came to blows. The old woman hadalready armed herself with the fire-pan. At last, however, they agreedto bind their son to the first master they should meet, whatever histrade might be. So the old man, taking with him the sum of ten roubles, which he destined for the binding his son out as an apprentice, set outleading Tim by the hand. It happened, that the first people he met weretwo born brothers, who maintained themselves by levying taxes on thehighway, and besides being tax-gatherers were expert tailors, using theirneedles so adroitly, that with a stitch or two they could make forthemselves a coat or mantle; in plain language, they were robbers. The old man, after saluting them, said: “Are you craftsmen?” “Oh, yes! and very skilful ones, ” replied the highwaymen. “And what may be your trade?” inquired the old man. “What is that to you?” they replied. “Why, I wish to give my son a trade, ” said the old man. “Oh! we will take your son with pleasure, ” they cried, “and instruct himin what we understand ourselves. As for our trade, we have particularreasons for not telling you what it is. Know, however, that you willnever repent entrusting your son to our hands. ” “But what must I give you for your trouble, good people?” cried the oldman. “Why, you can hardly give us less than twenty roubles, ” replied thecraftsmen. “O! where shall I get so much money?” cried the old man. “I have but tenroubles in all the world. ” “O, very well! hand them over, ” said they, “We’ll take them, though theybe only ten roubles; we don’t wish to higgle with you. ” The old man gave them the money, and begging them to spare no pains inteaching his son their trade, he trudged homeward. Remembering, however, that it was necessary to know where they dwelt, he turned back, and wentalong with them. After some time, they came to a house in a great wood, where the thieves lived with a young girl who was their sister. On theirarrival they took off from Tim his rough country craftan and breeches, and clothed him in habiliments of the very best quality, and regaled theold man with plenty of capital wine. So the old man, after staying anhour or two, left their dwelling quite happy and content. As soon as it was night, the thieves thought that they would give Tim hisfirst lesson in their art, so arming him in the same manner as they didthemselves, with a pike and a long knife, they went out on the road. Assoon as they were got there, one of the masters said to the pupil: “Suppose, now, any people were to attack us, what would you do, Tim?” “What’s this for?” said he, grasping his knife; “with this I don’t care astraw for a dozen men. ” “It will be of service to you, no doubt, some time or other, ” said thethieves; “it will be best, however, that your first essay be in somethingnot quite so dangerous as levying taxes on the highways generally is. Wewill go to the neighbouring monastery, and break into the treasury of theArchimandrite; we shall find there quite enough to enrich us. ” “O! just as you please, ” cried Timoney; “where the master goes the’prentice follows. ” So away they went, all three in high spirits. When they came to thecloister, they flung an iron hook upon the roof of the treasure-room, andTim climbing up by means of a rope which was attached to it, at once gaveproof that he was anything but a dull pupil. In a trice a hole was madein the roof—the chests in the treasury were broken open—money-bags werepiled up upon the floor, and then flung down out of the treasury upon theground, where they were gathered up by Tim’s comrades, and what had takena long series of years to acquire was in a few minutes lost to theproprietor. All would have gone on in the smoothest manner in the world, provided Tim had been anything of a fool. But he knew perfectly wellthat his friends below would take all the money by virtue of being hisinstructors, and would not give him a share; he, therefore, took from outof a chest the cloak of the Archimandrite, which was made of the choicestsable-skin, and flung it out of the hole upon the ground, intending itfor himself, but had no sooner done so, than one of his masters took itup and put it on. Tim then, letting himself down began to feel for thecloak upon the ground, for it was very dark. “What are you groping for?” said his masters. “I am seeking for my cloak, ” answered Tim. “What do you mean by calling it yours?” said one. “I have put it onmyself. How should it belong to you?” “Because, ” said Tim, “I took it for myself, and not for you. ” “But we are your instructors, ” said they, “consequently whatever you takebelongs to us. ” “O! no, ” cried he, with a loud voice. “I got the money for you, it istrue, and no share of that belongs to me, but the cloak is mine. ” “You lie, fool, ” said they. “O! if you talk in that manner, ” said Tim, “I will go and ask theArchimandrite, and the one to whom he adjudges it shall have the cloak. ” “Let’s see how you’ll go to work, ” said they. “You shall, ” said he, “only don’t be afraid. ” Thereupon, he went to the window of the cell in which the Archimandriteand his servant slept, the latter a very lively lad, and a great tellerof pleasant stories. Tim peeping in, perceived that the Archimandritewas asleep, and snoring like a hedgehog, but the lad was awake. Timtapped with his finger against the window, whereupon the lad got up andlooked out. But before he could ask who was there, Tim seized him by theears with both his hands, dragged him out, and tying a handkerchief overhis mouth, delivered him to the custody of his associates. Then climbingsoftly in at the window, he lay down in the young fellow’s bed. Afterwaiting a little time, he fell to arousing the Archimandrite. Hismasters who were listening under the window, hearing him try to awake theghostly man, begged him to come out. “What are you about?” they cried. “The devil take you and the cloak, too! Woe is us, that we ever came here with you!” But without attending to them, he cried: “Father Archimandrite! your reverence!” “Hey! what!” replied the Archimandrite, in a voice half-suffocated withsleep. “I have had a very bad dream, ” said Tim, “I dreamt that thieves brokeinto the treasure-room, and carried away all the money, and also yourcloak of sable. He who climbed up to steal the treasure, took the cloakout of the box, intending it for himself. He gave his comrades all themoney, and only wanted to keep the cloak; but they refused to give ithim. Now, who do you say should have the cloak?” The Archimandrite imagining that it was his chamberlain who was speakingto him, cried: “Oh, how tiresome you are! People are sure to dream at night. Praydon’t trouble my rest. ” Tim was silent for a time, but no sooner had the Archimandrite fallenasleep again, than he again awoke him, crying: “Whom is the cloak to be given to?” “Oh, you tiresome fellow!” cried the Archimandrite. “Well, if you mustknow, I would have it given to him who broke in. But, pray, let mesleep. ” Tim troubled him no more, and as soon as he was fast asleep got out ofthe window and took possession of the cloak without any opposition fromhis teachers, who extolled his cleverness to the skies. They set out forhome, and the first thing they did when they arrived was to hide theirbooty. After this adventure, Tim’s masters frequently discoursed witheach other about their apprentice. His address and cleverness pleasedthem exceedingly. They hoped that he would be of the greatest assistanceto them, and in order to keep him with them, they determined to give himtheir sister, who was rather a pretty girl. When they declared theirmind to Tim, he was far from refusing so good a match, for they offeredplenty of money with her. So he married, and ceasing to be theirapprentice, became their brother-in-law and comrade. After some time his wife said to him: “It is bad living with these brothers of mine who are thieves to the verybone. Moreover, you know the rhyme, ‘Though the thief may thrive formany a day, he becomes at last the hangman’s prey. ’ So it is my wish andcounsel that we separate from them at once and for ever, and go and liveat your father’s house, where, though we may not be so rich, we shall atany rate be in peace. ” Tim approved of what she said, and communicated his intention to thosehonest gentlemen—his brothers-in-law. They were very much mortified atwhat he told them, and endeavoured to persuade him to stay with them, butin vain. At last they said: “We will let you go on the following conditions: we will give you aswine, and if to-night we contrive to steal it from you, you shall pay ustwo hundred roubles, or remain in our service till you have gained for usthat amount, and if we are unable to steal the swine, we will pay thesame sum to you. ” “Very good, ” said Tim, “I will see whether you can steal her away fromme. ” Then he loaded a cart with his property, and set off with his wife to thehouse of his father. As soon as he got home he mixed up in the trough a mess of barley-mealand wine for the pig, who, after gorging herself with it, becamesenselessly drunk. Tim, then, dressing her in a sarafan or woman’s longnight-gown, placed her on the petsch or stove in a corner, where shestretched herself out and lay without motion. He then went to bed withhis wife in the chamber above. They were scarcely asleep when thethieves arrived, and searched in every nook and corner round about thehouse, but not finding what they were in quest of, they repaired to thekitchen, and, listening, heard something snoring. Forthwith one of themcrept in, and moving about softly touched the swine, but feeling thenightgown at the same time, he jumped out of the kitchen almostfrightened out of his wits. “Who are you?” cried his comrade. “Your brother, ” he replied. “Oh, I got into such a scrape. The thingwhich is snoring in the kitchen is the old beldame, Tim’s mother. I tookhold of her by the side, but so softly that I did not wake her, and sucha stench came from her that I really thought I should have fainted. Now, what to do I don’t know—but, stay! I will go and ask my sister where theswine is. Perhaps she will tell me whilst she is dozing. ” He thenclimbed softly on the top of the chamber, removed a board from the roof, and, poking his sister gently with his stick, said: “Wife! where did weput the sow?” “Don’t you remember, ” said she, “that we placed her in the kitchen, onthe petsch, dressed in a nightgown?” No sooner did the thief hear this than he sprang like a madman from theroof, and rushing into the kitchen, dragged off from the petsch thedrunken swine. He and his brother then lugged her away from the house, and when they had got to some distance, they tied her feet together, andthrusting a stick under, they carried her off on their shoulders at fulltrot. This riding on a stick—which was very different from lying in acradle—soon brought the sow to her senses, who began to behave in a veryobstreperous and disagreeable manner, and the faster they went the moreobstreperous and disagreeable did she become. The thieves now began torepent of the expedient which they had devised for bringing back Tim totheir society; but, fearing to lose two hundred roubles, they bore allthe nuisance of the swine, and hastened on their way. Tim awoke a little time after the swine had been carried away, and beingquite drowsy clean forgot what he had done with her. “Wife! wife!” cried he, jogging his bedfellow on the side with his elbow, “where did we hide the swine?” “How long is it, ” said she, “since you asked me that? Did I not tell youthat she lies on the petsch in the night-gown?” “When did you tell me that?” cried he. “Not long ago, ” said she; “but no doubt you were drowsy. ” “Now, farewell to our swine!” said Tim. “No doubt they have taken heraway. ” And springing from the bed he ran into the kitchen, but found noswine upon the petsch. Tim felt his knees quake under him. But theprospect of living with the thieves, as their slave, compelled him tocast aside all useless despondency, and to seek a remedy for themisfortune. Flinging himself upon his horse he galloped off in the hopeof overtaking the travelling swine, in which he succeeded. He came upwith the party just as they were entering the wood, and rode gently afterthem; the night, which was exceedingly dark, preventing the thieves fromseeing him. By this time they were excessively weary, and wishing totake some rest, they flung the swine upon the ground in a rage, and oneof them said: “What a weight! It’s enough to kill one. Yet one must not mind toilingwhen two hundred roubles are at stake. ” Quoth the other: “I would almost give up the roubles for a horse orsomething to carry this load of carrion for us. ” Meanwhile, Tim, leading his horse some way aside, tied it to a tree, thendrawing softly nigh he began to make a jingling with the bridle andstirrups which he had taken off the horse. One of the thieves hearingthe jingling said: “Listen, brother! some horse is going about entangled in its harness. ” As Tim still continued jingling, one of them fully persuaded that therewas a horse close at hand set off to catch it, whilst the other restedhimself sitting close by the swine. Tim moved on before the thief, whofollowed, expecting every moment to lay his hand upon the strayed horse. Imperceptibly he led him to a great distance, and then leaving himhurried back to the other. When he was not more than twenty yards fromhim he stopped and cried: “Pray, brother, come and help me to untie this accursed brute. ” The fellow, imagining that it was his brother, got up to help him, saying: “A pretty baby you, who cannot untie a horse. ” Tim, however, pretending that he could not hold the horse, moved away, and led him very far from the road. Then leaving him to seek his brotherwho was in vain pursuit of the horse he ran to where the swine lay, and, seizing hold of her, placed her upon his horse and carried her off. Assoon as he got home he tied her by the leg to the hand-mill which stoodin the middle of the kitchen, round which he strewed a quantity of rye. Forthwith the swine fell to eating the rye, and, by moving round, set themill a grinding. Tim then flung himself upon his bed, and without anycare resigned himself to sleep. In the meanwhile the thieves met each other. One said, “Where’s the horse?” The other answered, that he had never caught a glimpse of it. “Then why did you call me to help you to untie it?” said the first. “You are mad!” replied the other; “I never spoke a word. ” “Well, then, ” said his comrade, “it is plain that fellow Tim has playedus a trick. Let us go and see whether the swine is where we left her. ” But, after seeking her for a long time in vain, they concluded that theirbrother-in-law had carried her back with him home, whereupon they set offfor Tim’s house with all speed. On arriving at the court-yard, they went to the kitchen, and one of themsaid: “Brother, I am afraid we have lost our two hundred roubles. The oldbeldame, Tim’s mother, is awake and up. Don’t you hear her getting themill in order? She is going to grind. However, I will go to my sister, and ask her, as I did before, where the swine is hid; perhaps it is notin the kitchen. ” So he climbed up upon the roof as he had done before, and waking hissister said: “Wife, where is the swine?” “You must be asleep, ” she replied; “have you forgotten that she is tiedto the hand-mill in the kitchen?” The thief, having learnt where the swine was, ran to the kitchen, andseizing his booty hastened away with his brother, saying: “Master Tim has taught us a lesson; he will not deceive us again. ” Shortly after this Tim awoke, and jumping up, ran to look after theswine. But on entering the kitchen, he perceived that she had beenstolen a second time. Nothing now remained for him to do but to run andovertake the thieves, and discover some means of deceiving them again. He ran without any burden on his back, and besides, was all the fresherfor having rested, consequently he had no difficulty in overtaking thetired thieves, who were carrying the swine between them. He went softlybehind them till they came to the wood. As soon as they had entered it one of the thieves said to his comrade: “Let us rest awhile here. ” But the other replied: “No, brother; if Tim overtakes us here, he will trick us again by somemeans or other. But some way farther on you remember there is an emptycottage, near the road, there we can rest without danger. ” “Very good, ” said his comrade, “we will stop there. ” Tim, hearing what they said, turned aside, and, getting before them, daubed his face with clay; then, running as fast as he could to thecottage, he sat down within the ruined petsch, holding in his hand abrick. He had not waited five minutes when they entered the cottage andcast the swine down upon the floor. “Now, brother, ” said one, “we have nearly finished the business, let ussmoke a pipe of tobacco. ” “Capital!” replied the other, taking out his flint and steel; but thoughhe struck and struck, he could not make the tinder take light. “Here’s apretty affair, ” said he, “the tinder got damp as I ran amidst the dew ofthe wood endeavouring to overtake that rascal Tim. ” “Go to the mouth of the petsch, ” said the other, “perhaps a spark willtake hold of the soot. ” The other went up to the petsch and began again to strike. In themeantime Tim, looking full at him, gnashed his teeth violently. Thethief, hearing something gnashing, struck harder than before, and, looking into the petsch by the light of the sparks, instantly fell to theground, for seeing the face of Tim he took him for the devil and was soterrified that he could only utter with a broken voice: “Oh, brother!—the devil!—the devil!” Thereupon, Tim knocked violently upon the petsch, and hurled the brick atthe other thief, who made for the door, but, striking his foreheadagainst the lintel, he fell senseless. Tim then seizing one of theirsticks began to belabour his brothers-in-law so lustily that they soonrecovered their recollection and betook themselves to flight. Their legstrembled so with the fright they were in that they stumbled more thanonce; but Tim assisted them on their way by pelting them with bricks. Having driven them off, he took the swine and carried her home, where hearrived just as the day was beginning to break. The first word which the thieves said on recovering their breath wasabout the wager with their brother-in-law. “Now, ” said they, “as the devil has run away with the swine, Tim cannotproduce her, so we will force him to come and live with us again. ” Thereupon they set off straight for the house, because it was alreadygetting light; but on their arrival they found that they had lost theirwager, and that it was not the devil who had routed them in the desertedcottage, but their brother-in-law. “Oh, you precious rascal!” said they, “you nearly killed us with terror. ” “There’s no help, brothers, ” he replied, “you were thinking of taking twohundred roubles from me, but now you have to pay them to me. ” After some demur, he received the money from them, and began to live in ahighly respectable manner. LONDON: Printed for THOMAS J. WISE, Hampstead, N. W. _Edition limited to Thirty Copies_.