[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of thefile for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making anentire meal of them. D. W. ]

 THE SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS ARBITER

 Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh, in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena, and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas. 

Among the difficulties which beset the path of the conscientioustranslator, a sense of his own unworthiness must ever take precedence;but another, scarcely less disconcerting, is the likelihood ofmisunderstanding some allusion which was perfectly familiar to the authorand his public, but which, by reason of its purely local significance, is obscure and subject to the misinterpretation and emendation of a latergeneration. 

A translation worthy of the name is as much the product of a literaryepoch as it is of the brain and labor of a scholar; and Melmouth'sversion of the letters of Pliny the Younger, made, as it was, at aperiod when the art of English letter writing had attained its highestexcellence, may well be the despair of our twentieth century apostles ofspecialization. Who, today, could imbue a translation of the Golden Asswith the exquisite flavor of William Adlington's unscholarly version ofthat masterpiece? Who could rival Arthur Golding's rendering of theMetamorphoses of Ovid, or Francis Hicke's masterly rendering of Lucian'sTrue History? But eternal life means endless change and in nothing isthis truth more strikingly manifest than in the growth and decadence ofliving languages and in the translation of dead tongues into the everchanging tissue of the living. Were it not for this, no translationworthy of the name would ever stand in need of revision, except ininstances where the discovery and collation of fresh manuscripts hadimproved the text. In the case of an author whose characters speak inthe argot proper to their surroundings, the necessity for revision iseven more imperative; the change in the cultured speech of a language isa process that requires years to become pronounced, the evolution ofslang is rapid and its usage ephemeral. For example Stephen Gaselee, inhis bibliography of Petronius, calls attention to Harry Thurston Peck'srendering of "bell um pomum" by "he's a daisy, " and remarks, appropriately enough, "that this was well enough for 1898; but we wouldnow be more inclined to render it 'he's a peach. '" Again, Peck renders"illud erat vivere" by "that was life, " but, in the words of our lyricAmerican jazz, we would be more inclined to render it "that was thelife. " "But, " as Professor Gaselee has said, "no rendering of this partof the Satyricon can be final, it must always be in the slang of thehour. "

"Some, " writes the immortal translator of Rabelais, in his preface, "have deservedly gained esteem by translating; yet not many condescendto translate but such as cannot invent; though to do the first well, requires often as much genius as to do the latter. I wish, reader, thou mayest be as willing to do the author justice, as I have stroveto do him right. "

Many scholars have lamented the failure of Justus Lipsius to comment uponPetronius or edit an edition of the Satyricon. Had he done so, he mighthave gone far toward piercing the veil of darkness which enshrouds theauthorship of the work and the very age in which the composer flourished. To me, personally, the fact that Laurence Sterne did not undertake aversion, has caused much regret. The master who delineated TristramShandy's father and the intrigue between the Widow Wadman and Uncle Tobywould have drawn Trimalchio and his peers to admiration. 

 W. C. F. 

CONTENTS:

PREFACEINTRODUCTIONTHE SATYRICONNOTES PROSTITUTION PAEDERASTIA CHAPTER NOTES 9 Gladiator obscene 17 Impotence 26 Peepholes in brothels 34 Silver Skeleton 36 Marsyas 40 A pie full of birds 56 Contumelia 116 Life in Rome 116 Legacy hunting 119 Castration 127 Circe's voice 131 Sputum in charms 131 The "infamous finger" 138 The dildo The Cordax

SIX NOTES BY MARCHENA Introduction I Soldiers in love II Courtesans III Greek love IV Pollution V Virginity VI Pandars

INTRODUCTION. 

Of the many masterpieces which classical antiquity has bequeathed tomodern times, few have attained, at intervals, to such popularity; fewhave so gripped the interest of scholars and men of letters, as has thisscintillating miscellany known as the Satyricon, ascribed by tradition tothat Petronius who, at the court of Nero, acted as arbiter of eleganceand dictator of fashion. The flashing, wit, the masterly touches whichbring out the characters with all the detail of a fine old copperetching; the marvelous use of realism by this, its first prophet; thesure knowledge of the perspective and background best adapted to eachepisode; the racy style, so smooth, so elegant, so simple when theeducated are speaking, beguile the reader and blind him, at first, to themany discrepancies and incoherences with which the text, as we have it, is marred. The more one concentrates upon this author, the more apparentthese faults become and the more one regrets the lacunae in the text. Notwithstanding numerous articles which deal with this work, some fromthe pens of the most profound scholars, its author is still shrouded inthe mists of uncertainty and conjecture. He is as impersonal asShakespeare, as aloof as Flaubert, in the opinion of Charles Whibley, and, it may be added, as genial as Rabelais; an enigmatic genius whosesecret will never be laid bare with the resources at our present command. As I am not writing for scholars, I do not intend going very deeply intothe labyrinth of critical controversy which surrounds the author and thework, but I shall deal with a few of the questions which, if properlyunderstood, will enhance the value of the Satyricon, and contribute, insome degree, to a better understanding of the author. For the sake ofconvenience the questions discussed in this introduction will be arrangedin the following order:

1. The Satyricon. 

2. The Author. A His Character. B His Purpose in Writing. C Time in which the Action is placed. D Localization of the Principal Episode. 

3. Realism. A Influence of the Satyricon upon the Literature of the World. 

4. The Forgeries. 

I

THE SATYRICON. Heinsius and Scaliger derive the word from the Greek, whence comes our English word satyr, but Casaubon, Dacier and Spanheimderive it from the Latin 'satura, ' a plate filled with different kindsof food, and they refer to Porphyrion's 'multis et variis rebus hoccarmen refertum est. '

The text, as we possess it, may be divided into three divisions: thefirst and last relate the adventures of Encolpius and his companions, thesecond, which is a digression, describes the Dinner of Trimalchio. Thatthe work was originally divided into books, we had long known fromancient glossaries, and we learn, from the title of the Traguriensianmanuscript, that the fragments therein contained are excerpts from thefifteenth and sixteenth books. An interpolation of Fulgentius (Paris7975) attributes to Book Fourteen the scene related in Chapter 20 of thework as we have it, and the glossary of St. Benedict Floriacensis citesthe passage 'sed video te totum in illa haerere, quae Troiae halosinostendit (Chapter 89), as from Book Fifteen. As there is no reason tosuppose that the chapters intervening between the end of the Cena(Chapter 79) and Chapter 89 are out of place, it follows that thispassage may have belonged to Book Sixteen, or even Seventeen, but that itcould not have belonged to Book Fifteen. From the interpolation ofFulgentius we may hazard the opinion that the beginning of the fragments, as we possess them (Chapters 1 to 26), form part of Book Fourteen. TheDinner of Trimalchio probably formed a complete book, fifteen, and thecontinuation of the adventures of Encolpius down to his meeting withEumolpus (end of Chapter 140) Book Sixteen. The discomfiture of Eumolpusshould have closed this book but not the entire work, as the exit of thetwo principal characters is not fixed at the time our fragments come toan end. The original work, then, would probably have exceeded Tom Jonesin length. 

II

THE AUTHOR. 

a--"Not often, " says Studer (Rheinisches Museum, 1843), "has there beenso much dispute about the author, the times, the character and thepurpose of a writing of antiquity as about the fragments of the Satyriconof Petronius. " The discovery and publication of the Trau manuscriptbrought about a literary controversy which has had few parallels, andwhich has not entirely died out to this day, although the bestauthorities ascribe the work to Caius Petronius, the Arbiter Elegantiarumat the court of Nero. "The question as to the date of the narrative ofthe adventures of Encolpius and his boon companions must be regarded assettled, " says Theodor Mommsen (Hermes, 1878); "this narrative isunsurpassed in originality and mastery of treatment among the writings ofRoman literature. Nor does anyone doubt the identity of its author andthe Arbiter Elegantiarum of Nero, whose end Tacitus relates. "

In any case, the author of this work, if it be the work of one brain, must have been a profound psychologist, a master of realism, anatural-born story teller, and a gentleman. 

b--His principal object in writing the work was to amuse but, in amusing, he also intended to pillory the aristocracy and his wit is as keen as thepoint of a rapier; but, when we bear in mind the fact that he was anancient, we will find that his cynicism is not cruel, in him there isnone of the malignity of Aristophanes; there is rather the attitude ofthe refined patrician who is always under the necessity of facing thosethings which he holds most in contempt, the supreme artist who suffersfrom the multitude of bill-boards, so to speak, who lashes the postersbut holds in pitying contempt those who know so little of true art thatthey mistake those posters for the genuine article. Niebuhr's estimateof his character is so just and free from prejudice, and proceeds froma mind which, in itself, was so pure and wholesome, that I will quote it:

"All great dramatic poets are endowed with the power of creating beingswho seem to act and speak with perfect independence, so that the poet isnothing more than the relator of what takes place. When Goethe hadconceived Faust and Margarete, Mephistopheles and Wagner, they moved andhad their being without any exercise of his will. But in the peculiarpower which Petronius exercises, in its application to every scene, toevery individual character, in everything, noble or mean, which heundertakes, I know of but one who is fully equal to the Roman, and thatis Diderot. Trimalchio and Agamemnon might have spoken for Petronius, and the nephew Rameau and the parson Papin for Diderot, in everycondition and on every occasion inexhaustibly, out of their own nature;just so the purest and noblest souls, whose kind was, after all, notentirely extinct in their day. 

"Diderot and a contemporary, related to him in spirit, Count GasparGozzi, are marked with the same cynicism which disfigures the Roman;their age, like his, had become shameless. But as the two former were intheir heart noble, upright, and benevolent men, and as in the writings ofDiderot genuine virtue and a tenderness unknown to his contemporariesbreathe, so the peculiarity of such a genius can, as it seems, be givento a noble and elevated being only. The deep contempt for prevailingimmorality which naturally leads to cynicism, and a heart which beats foreverything great and glorious, --virtues which then had no existence, --speak from the pages of the Roman in a language intelligible to everysusceptible heart. "

e--Beck, in his paper, "The Age of Petronius Arbiter, " concluded that theauthor lived and wrote between the years 6 A. D. And 34 A. D. , but heoverlooked the possibility that the author might have lived a few yearslater, written of conditions as they were in his own times, and yet laidthe action of his novel a few years before. Mommsen and Haley place thetime under Augustus, Buecheler, about 36-7 A. D. , and Friedlaender underNero. 

d--La Porte du Theil places the scene at Naples because of the fact thecity in which our heroes met Agamemnon must have been of someconsiderable size because neither Encolpius nor Asclytos could find theirway back to their inn, when once they had left it, because both weretired out from tramping around in search of it and because Giton had beenso impressed with this danger that he took the precaution to mark thepillars with chalk in order that they might not be lost a second time. The Gulf of Naples is the only bit of coastline which fits the needs ofthe novel, hence the city must be Naples. The fact that neither of thecharacters knew the city proves that they had been recent arrivals, andthis furnishes a clue, vague though it is, to what may have gone before. 

Haley, "Harvard Studies in Classical Philology, " vol. II, makes out avery strong case for Puteoli, and his theory of the old town and the newtown is as ingenious as it is able. Haley also has Trimalchio in hisfavor, as has also La Porte du Theil. "I saw the Sibyl at Cumae, " saysTrimalchio. Now if the scene of the dinner is actually at Cumae thissounds very peculiar; it might even be a gloss added by some copyistwhose knowledge was not equal to his industry. On the other hand, suppose Trimalchio is speaking of something so commonplace in hislocality that the second term has become a generic, then the difficultydisappears. We today, even though standing upon the very spot in Meloswhere the Venus was unearthed, would still refer to her as the Venus deMelos. Friedlaender, in bracketing Cumis, has not taken thissufficiently into consideration. Mommsen, in an excellent paper (Hermes, 1878), has laid the scene at Cumae. His logic is almost unanswerable, and the consensus of opinion is in favor of the latter town. 

III

REALISM. Realism, as we are concerned with it, may be defined as theliterary effect produced by the marshaling of details in their exactitudefor the purpose of bringing out character. The fact that they may beugly and vulgar the reverse, makes not the slightest difference. Themodern realist contemplates the inanimate things which surround us withpeculiar complaisance, and it is right that he should as these thingsexert upon us a constant and secret influence. The workings of the humanmind, in complex civilizations, are by no means simple; they are involvedand varied: our thoughts, our feelings, our wills, associate themselveswith an infinite number of sensations and images which play one upon theother, and which individualize, in some measure, every action we commit, and stamp it. The merit of our modern realists lies in the fact thatthey have studied the things which surround us and our relations to them, and thus have they been able to make their creations conform to humanexperience. The ancients gave little attention to this; the man, withthem, was the important thing; the environment the unimportant. Thereare, of course, exceptions; the interview between Ulysses and Nausiskaais probably the most striking. From the standpoint of environment, Petronius, in the greater portion of his work, is an ancient; but oneexception there is, and it is as brilliant as it is important. Theentire episode, in which Trimalchio figures, offers an incredibleabundance of details. The descriptions are exhaustive and minute, butthe author's prime purpose was not description, it was to bring out thecharacters, it was to pillory the Roman aristocracy, it was to amuse!Cicero, in his prosecution of Verres, had shown up this aristocracy inall its brutality and greed, it remained for the author of the Cena tohold its absurdity up to the light of day, to lash an extravagance which, though utterly unbridled, was yet unable to exhaust the lootedaccumulations of years of political double dealing and malfeasance inoffice. Trimalchio's introduction is a masterstroke, the porter at thedoor is another, the effect of the wine upon the women, their jealousylest either's husband should seem more liberal, their appraisal of eachother's jewelry, Scintilla's remark anent the finesse of Habinnas'servant in the mere matter of pandering, the blear-eyed and black-toothedslave, teasing a little bitch disgustingly fat, offering her pieces ofbread and when, from sheer inability, she refuses to eat, cramming itdown her throat, the effect of the alcohol upon Trimalchio, the littleold lady girded round with a filthy apron, wearing clogs which were notmates, dragging in a huge dog on a chain, the incomparable humor in thepassage in which Hesus, desperately seasick, sees that which makes himbelieve that even worse misfortunes are in store for him: these detailsare masterpieces of realism. The description of the night-prowlingshyster lawyer, whose forehead is covered with sebaceous wens, is thevery acme of propriety; our first meeting; with the poet Eumolpus is abeautiful study in background and perspective. Nineteen centuries havegone their way since this novel was written, but if we look about us wewill be able to recognize, under the veneer of civilization, theoriginals of the Satyricon and we will find that here, in a little cornerof the Roman world, all humanity was held in miniature. Petronius mustbe credited with the great merit of having introduced realism into thenovel. By an inspiration of genius, he saw that the framework offrivolous and licentious novels could be enlarged until it took incontemporary custom and environment. It is that which assures for himan eminent place, not in Roman literature alone, but in the literatureof the world. 

a--INFLUENCE OF THE SATYRICON UPON LITERATURE. The vagrant heroes ofPetronius are the originals from whom directly, or indirectly, laterauthors drew that inspiration which resulted in the great mass ofpicaresque fiction; but, great as this is, it is not to this that theSatyricon owes its powerful influence upon the literature of the world. It is to the author's recognition of the importance of environment, of the vital role of inanimate surroundings as a means for bringing outcharacter and imbuing his episodes and the actions of his characters withan air of reality and with those impulses and actions which are common tohuman experience, that his influence is due. By this, the Roman createda new style of writing and inaugurated a class of literature which waswithout parallel until the time of Apuleius and, in a lesser degree, ofLucian. This class of literature, though modified essentially from ageto age, in keeping with the dictates of moral purity or bigotry, innocentor otherwise, has come to be the very stuff of which literary success infiction is made. One may write a successful book without a thread ofromance; one cannot write a successful romance without some knowledge ofrealism; the more intimate the knowledge the better the book, and it isfrequently to this that the failure of a novel is due, although thecritic might be at a loss to explain it. Petronius lies behind TristramShandy, his influence can be detected in Smollett, and even Fielding paidtribute to him. 

IV

FORGERIES OF PETRONIUS. 

From the very nature of the writings of such an author as Petronius, itis evident that the gaps in the text would have a marked tendency tostimulate the curiosity of literary forgers and to tempt their sagacity, literary or otherwise. The recovery of the Trimalchionian episode, andthe subsequent pamphleteering would by no means eradicate this "cacoethesemendandi. "

When, circa 1650, the library of the unfortunate Nicolas Cippico yieldedup the Trau fragment, the news of this discovery spread far and wide andabout twelve years later, Statileo, in response to the repeated requestsof the Venetian ambassador, Pietro Basadonna, made with his own hand acopy of the MS. , which he sent to Basadonna. The ambassador, in turn, permitted this MS. To be printed by one Frambotti, a printer endowed withmore industry than critical acumen, and the resultant textual conflationhad much to do with the pamphlet war which followed. Had this Paduanprinter followed the explicit directions which he received, and printedexactly what was given him much good paper might have been saved and avery interesting chapter in the history of literary forgery wouldprobably never have been written. The pamphlet war did not die out untilBleau, in 1670-71, printed his exact reproduction of the Trau manuscriptand the corrections introduced by that licentiousness of emendation ofwhich we have spoken. 

In October, 1690, Francois Nodot, a French soldier of fortune, acommissary officer who combined belles lettres and philosophy with hisofficial duties, wrote to Charpentier, President of the Academy ofFrance, calling, his attention to a copy of a manuscript which he (Nodot)possessed, and which came into his hands in the following manner: oneDu Pin, a French officer detailed to service with Austria, had beenpresent at the sack of Belgrade in 1688. That this Du Pin had, whilethere, made the acquaintance of a certain Greek renegade, having, as amatter of fact, stayed in the house of this renegade. The Greek'sfather, a man of some learning, had by some means come into possession ofthe MS. , and Du Pin, in going through some of the books in the house, hadcome across it. He had experienced the utmost difficulty in decipheringthe letters, and finally, driven by curiosity, had retained a copyist andhad it copied out. That this Du Pin had this copy in his house atFrankfort, and that he had given Nodot to understand that if he (Nodot)came to Frankfort, he would be permitted to see this copy. Owing to theexigencies of military service, Nodot had been unable to go in person toFrankfort, and that he had therefore availed himself of the friendlyinterest and services of a certain merchant of Frankfort, who hadvolunteered to find an amanuensis, have a copy made, and send it toNodot. This was done, and Nodot concludes his letter to Charpentier byrequesting the latter to lay the result before the Academy and ask fortheir blessing and approval. These Nodotian Supplements were accepted asauthentic by the Academics of Arles and Nimes, as well as by Charpentier. In a short time, however, the voices of scholarly skeptics began to beheard in the land, and accurate and unbiased criticism laid bare thefraud. The Latinity was attacked and exception taken to Silver Ageprose in which was found a French police regulation which required newlyarrived travellers to register their names in the book of a policeofficer of an Italian village of the first century. Although they arestill retained in the text by some editors, this is done to give somemeasure of continuity to an otherwise interrupted narrative, but they canonly serve to distort the author and obscure whatever view of him thereader might otherwise have reached. They are generally printed betweenbrackets or in different type. 

In 1768 another and far abler forger saw the light of day. JoseMarchena, a Spaniard of Jewish extraction, was destined for anecclesiastical career. He received an excellent education which servedto fortify a natural bent toward languages and historical criticism. Inhis early youth he showed a marked preference for uncanonical pursuitsand heretical doctrines and before he had reached his thirtieth yearprudence counseled him to prevent the consequences of his heresy andavoid the too pressing Inquisition by a timely flight into France. He arrived there in time to throw himself into the fight for liberty, and in 1800 we find him at Basle attached to the staff of General Moreau. While there he is said to have amused himself and some of his cronies bywriting notes on what Davenport would have called "Forbidden Subjects, "and, as a means of publishing his erotic lucubrations, he constructedthis fragment, which brings in those topics on which he had enlarged. He translated the fragment into French, attached his notes, and issuedthe book. There is another story to the effect that he had beenreprimanded by Moreau for having written a loose song and that heexculpated himself by assuring the general that it was but a new fragmentof Petronius which he had translated. Two days later he had the fragmentready to prove his contention. 

This is the account given by his Spanish biographer. In his preface, dedicated to the Army of the Rhine, he states that he found the fragmentin a manuscript of the work of St. Gennadius on the Duties of Priests, probably of the XI Century. A close examination revealed the fact thatit was a palimpsest which, after treatment, permitted the restoration ofthis fragment. It is supposed to supply the gap in Chapter 26 after theword "verberabant. "

Its obscenity outrivals that of the preceding text, and the grammar, style, and curiosa felicitas Petroniana make it an almost perfectimitation. There is no internal evidence of forgery. If the text isclosely scrutinized it will be seen that it is composed of words andexpressions taken from various parts of the Satyricon, "and that in everyline it has exactly the Petronian turn of phrase. "

"Not only is the original edition unprocurable, " to quote again fromMr. Gaselee's invaluable bibliography, "but the reprint at Soleure(Brussels), 1865, consisted of only 120 copies, and is hard to find. The most accessible place for English readers is in Bohn's translation, in which, however, only the Latin text is given; and the notes were amost important part of the original work. "

These notes, humorously and perhaps sarcastically ascribed to Lallemand, Sanctae Theologiae Doctor, "are six in number (all on various forms ofvice); and show great knowledge, classical and sociological, of unsavorysubjects. Now that the book is too rare to do us any harm, we may admitthat the pastiche was not only highly amusing, but showed a perversecleverness amounting almost to genius. "

Marchena died at Madrid in great poverty in 1821. A contemporary hasdescribed him as being rather short and heavy set in figure, of greatfrontal development, and vain beyond belief. He considered himselfinvincible where women were concerned. He had a peculiar predilectionin the choice of animal pets and was an object of fear and curiosityto the towns people. His forgery might have been completely successfulhad he not acknowledged it himself within two or three years after thepublication of his brochure. The fragment will remain a permanenttribute to the excellence of his scholarship, but it is his Ode to ChristCrucified which has made him more generally known, and it is one of theironies of fate that caused this deformed giant of sarcasm to compose apoem of such tender and touching piety. 

Very little is known about Don Joe Antonio Gonzalez de Salas, whoseconnecting passages, with the exception of one which is irrelevant, arehere included. 

The learned editors of the Spanish encyclopedia naively preface theirbrief sketch with the following assertion: "no tenemos noticias de suvida. " De Salas was born in 1588 and died in 1654. His edition ofPetronius was first issued in 1629 and re-issued in 1643 with a copperplate of the Editor. The Paris edition, from which he says he suppliedcertain deficiencies in the text, is unknown to bibliographers and issupposed to be fictitious. 

To distinguish the spurious passages, as a point of interest, in thepresent edition, the forgeries of Nodot are printed within roundbrackets, the forgery of Marchena within square brackets, and theadditions of De Salas in italics {In this PG etext in curly brackets}. 

The work is also accompanied by a translation of the six notes, thecomposition of which led Marchena to forge the fragment which firstappeared in the year 1800. These have never before been translated. 

Thanks are due Ralph Straus, Esq. , and Professor Stephen Gaselee. 

 THE SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS ARBITER

BRACKET CODE: (Forgeries of Nodot) [Forgeries of Marchena] {Additions of De Salas} DW

VOLUME 1. --ADVENTURES OF ENCOLPIUS AND HIS COMPANIONS

CHAPTER THE FIRST. 

(It has been so long; since I promised you the story of my adventures, that I have decided to make good my word today; and, seeing that we havethus fortunately met, not to discuss scientific matters alone, but alsoto enliven our jolly conversation with witty stories. Fabricius Veientohas already spoken very cleverly on the errors committed in the name ofreligion, and shown how priests, animated by an hypocritical mania forprophecy, boldly expound mysteries which are too often such tothemselves. But) are our rhetoricians tormented by another species ofFuries when they cry, "I received these wounds while fighting for thepublic liberty; I lost this eye in your defense: give me a guide who willlead me to my children, my limbs are hamstrung and will not hold me up!"Even these heroics could be endured if they made easier the road toeloquence; but as it is, their sole gain from this ferment of matter andempty discord of words is, that when they step into the Forum, they thinkthey have been carried into another world. And it is my conviction thatthe schools are responsible for the gross foolishness of our young men, because, in them, they see or hear nothing at all of the affairs ofevery-day life, but only pirates standing in chains upon the shore, tyrants scribbling edicts in which sons are ordered to behead their ownfathers; responses from oracles, delivered in time of pestilence, ordering the immolation of three or more virgins; every word a honieddrop, every period sprinkled with poppy-seed and sesame. 

CHAPTER THE SECOND. 

Those who are brought up on such a diet can no more attain to wisdom thana kitchen scullion can attain to a keen sense of smell or avoid stinkingof the grease. With your indulgence, I will speak out: you--teachers--are chiefly responsible for the decay of oratory. With your wellmodulated and empty tones you have so labored for rhetorical effect thatthe body of your speech has lost its vigor and died. Young men did notlearn set speeches in the days when Sophocles and Euripides weresearching for words in which to express themselves. In the days whenPindar and the nine lyric poets feared to attempt Homeric verse there wasno private tutor to stifle budding genius. I need not cite the poets forevidence, for I do not find that either Plato or Demosthenes was givento this kind of exercise. A dignified and, if I may say it, a chaste, style, is neither elaborate nor loaded with ornament; it rises supreme byits own natural purity. This windy and high-sounding bombast, a recentimmigrant to Athens, from Asia, touched with its breath the aspiringminds of youth, with the effect of some pestilential planet, and as soonas the tradition of the past was broken, eloquence halted and wasstricken dumb. Since that, who has attained to the sublimity ofThucydides, who rivalled the fame of Hyperides? Not a single poemhas glowed with a healthy color, but all of them, as though nourishedon the same diet, lacked the strength to live to old age. Paintingalso suffered the same fate when the presumption of the Egyptians"commercialized" that incomparable art. (I was holding forth along theselines one day, when Agamemnon came up to us and scanned with a curiouseye a person to whom the audience was listening so closely. )

CHAPTER THE THIRD. 

He would not permit me to declaim longer in the portico than he himselfhad sweat in the school, but exclaimed, "Your sentiments do not reflectthe public taste, young man, and you are a lover of common sense, whichis still more unusual. For that reason, I will not deceive you as to thesecrets of my profession. The teachers, who must gibber with lunatics, are by no means to blame for these exercises. Unless they spoke inaccordance with the dictates of their young pupils, they would, as Ciceroremarks, be left alone in the schools! And, as designing parasites, whenthey seek invitations to the tables of the rich, have in mind nothingexcept what will, in their opinion, be most acceptable to their audience--for in no other way can they secure their ends, save by setting snaresfor the ears--so it is with the teachers of rhetoric, they might becompared with the fisherman, who, unless he baits his hook with what heknows is most appetizing to the little fish, may wait all day upon somerock, without the hope of a catch. "

CHAPTER THE FOURTH. 

What, then, is there to do? The parents who are unwilling to permittheir children to undergo a course of training under strict discipline, are the ones who deserve the reproof. In the first place, everythingthey possess, including the children, is devoted to ambition. Then, thattheir wishes may the more quickly be realized, they drive these unripescholars into the forum, and the profession of eloquence, than which noneis considered nobler, devolves upon boys who are still in the act ofbeing born! If, however, they would permit a graded course of study tobe prescribed, in order that studious boys might ripen their minds bydiligent reading; balance their judgment by precepts of wisdom, correcttheir compositions with an unsparing pen, hear at length what they oughtto imitate, and be convinced that nothing can be sublime when it isdesigned to catch the fancy of boys, then the grand style of oratorywould immediately recover the weight and splendor of its majesty. Nowthe boys play in the schools, the young men are laughed at in the forum, and, a worse symptom than either, no one, in his old age, will confessthe errors he was taught in his school days. But that you may notimagine that I disapprove of a jingle in the Lucilian manner, I willdeliver my opinions in verse, --

CHAPTER THE FIFTH. 

 "The man who emerges with fame, from the school of stern art, Whose mind gropes for lofty ideals, to bring them to light, Must first, under rigid frugality, study his part;

 Nor yearn for the courts of proud princes who frown in their might:

 Nor scheme with the riff-raf, a client in order to dine, Nor can he with evil companions his wit drown in wine

 Nor sit, as a hireling, applauding an actor's grimace. 

 But, whether the fortress of arms-bearing Tritonis smile

 Upon him, or land which the Spartan colonials grace, Or home of the sirens, with poetry let him beguile

 The years of young manhood, and at the Maeonian spring

 His fortunate soul drink its fill: Then, when later, the lore

 Of Socrates' school he has mastered, the reins let him fling, And brandish the weapons that mighty Demosthenes bore. 

 Then, steeped in the culture and music of Greece, let his taste

 Be ripened and mellowed by all the great writers of Rome. 

 At first, let him haunt not the courts; let his pages be graced

 By ringing and rhythmic effusions composed in his home

 Next, banquets and wars be his theme, sung in soul-stirring chant, In eloquent words such as undaunted Cicero chose. 

 Come! Gird up thy soul! Inspiration will then force a vent

 And rush in a flood from a heart that is loved by the muse!"

CHAPTER THE SIXTH. 

I was listening so attentively to this speech that I did not notice theflight of Ascyltos, and while I was pacing the gardens, engulfed in thisflood-tide of rhetoric, a large crowd of students came out upon theportico, having, it would seem, just listened to an extemporaneousdeclamation, of I know not whom, the speaker of which had takenexceptions to the speech of Agamemnon. While, therefore, the young menwere making fun of the sentiments of this last speaker, and criticizingthe arrangement of the whole speech, I seized the opportunity and wentafter Ascyltos, on the run; but, as I neither held strictly to the road, nor knew where the inn was located, wherever I went, I kept coming backto the same place, until, worn out with running, and long since drippingwith sweat, I approached a certain little old woman who sold countryvegetables. 

CHAPTER THE SEVENTH. 

"Please, mother, " I wheedled, "you don't know where I lodge, do you?"Delighted with such humorous affability, "What's the reason I don't" shereplied, and getting upon her feet, she commenced to walk ahead of me. Itook her for a prophetess until, when presently we came to a more obscurequarter, the affable old lady pushed aside a crazy-quilt and remarked, "Here's where you ought to live, " and when I denied that I recognized thehouse, I saw some men prowling stealthily between the rows of name-boardsand naked prostitutes. Too late I realized that I had been led into abrothel. After cursing the wiles of the little old hag, I covered myhead and commenced to run through the middle of the night-house to theexit opposite, when, lo and behold! whom should I meet on the verythreshold but Ascyltos himself, as tired as I was, and almost dead; youwould have thought that he had been brought by the self-same little oldhag! I smiled at that, greeted him cordially, and asked him what he wasdoing in such a scandalous place. 

CHAPTER THE EIGHTH. 

Wiping away the sweat with his hands, he replied, "If you only knew whatI have gone through!" "What was it?" I demanded. "A most respectablelooking person came up to me, " he made reply, "while I was wandering allover the town and could not find where I had left my inn, and verygraciously offered to guide me. He led me through some very dark andcrooked alleys, to this place, pulled out his tool, and commenced to begme to comply with his appetite. A whore had already vacated her cell foran as, and he had laid hands upon me, and, but for the fact that I wasthe stronger, I would have been compelled to take my medicine. " (WhileAscyltos was telling me of his bad luck, who should come up again butthis same very respectable looking person, in company with a woman not atall bad looking, and, looking at Ascyltos, he requested him to enter thehouse, assuring him that there was nothing to fear, and, since he wasunwilling to take the passive part, he should have the active. Thewoman, on her part, urged me very persistently to accompany her, so wefollowed the couple, at last, and were conducted between the rows ofname-boards, where we saw, in cells, many persons of each sex amusingthemselves in such a manner) that it seemed to me that every one of themmust have been drinking satyrion. (On catching sight of us, theyattempted to seduce us with paederastic wantonness, and one wretch, withhis clothes girded up, assaulted Ascyltos, and, having thrown him downupon a couch, attempted to gore him from above. I succored the suffererimmediately, however, ) and having joined forces, we defied thetroublesome wretch. (Ascyltos ran out of the house and took to hisheels, leaving me as the object of their lewd attacks, but the crowd, finding me the stronger in body and purpose, let me go unharmed. )

CHAPTER THE NINTH. 

(After having tramped nearly all over the city, ) I caught sight of Giton, as though through a fog, standing at the end of the street, (on the verythreshold of the inn, ) and I hastened to the same place. When I inquiredwhether my "brother" had prepared anything for breakfast, the boy satdown upon the bed and wiped away the trickling tears with his thumb. I was greatly disturbed by such conduct on the part of my "brother, " anddemanded to be told what had happened. After I had mingled threats withentreaties, he answered slowly and against his will, "That brother orcomrade of yours rushed into the room a little while ago and commenced toattempt my virtue by force. When I screamed, he pulled out his tool andgritted out--If you're a Lucretia, you've found your Tarquin!" When Iheard this, I shook my fists in Ascyltos' face, "What have you to say foryourself, " I snarled, "you rutting pathic harlot, whose very breath isinfected?" Ascyltos pretended to bristle up and, shaking his fists moreboldly still, he roared: "Won't you keep quiet, you filthy gladiator, youwho escaped from the criminal's cage in the amphitheatre to which youwere condemned (for the murder of your host?) Won't you hold yourtongue, you nocturnal assassin, who, even when you swived it bravely, never entered the lists with a decent woman in your life? Was I not a'brother' to you in the pleasure-garden, in the same sense as that inwhich this boy now is in this lodging-house?" "You sneaked away from themaster's lecture, " I objected. 

CHAPTER THE TENTH. "What should I have done, you triple fool, when I wasdying of hunger? I suppose I should have listened to opinions as much tothe purpose as the tinkle of broken glass or the interpretation ofdreams. By Hercules, you are much more deserving of censure than I, youwho will flatter a poet so as to get an invitation to dinner!" Then welaughed ourselves out of a most disgraceful quarrel, and approached morepeaceably whatever remained to be done. But the remembrance of thatinjury recurred to my mind and, "Ascyltos, " I said, "I know we shall notbe able to agree, so let us divide our little packs of common stock andtry to defeat our poverty by our individual efforts. Both you and I knowletters, but that I may not stand in the way of any undertaking of yours, I will take up some other profession. Otherwise, a thousand trifles willbring us into daily collision and furnish cause for gossip through thewhole town. " Ascyltos made no objection to this, but merely remarked, "As we, in our capacity of scholars, have accepted an invitation todinner, for this date, let us not lose our night. Since it seems to bethe graceful thing to do, I will look out for another lodging and another'brother, ' tomorrow. " "Deferred pleasures are a long time coming, "I sighed. It was lust that made this separation so hasty, for I had, fora long time, wished to be rid of a troublesome chaperon, so that I couldresume my old relations with my Giton. (Bearing this affront withdifficulty, Ascyltos rushed from the room, without uttering a word. Such a headlong outburst augured badly, for I well knew his ungovernabletemper and his unbridled passion. On this account, I followed him out, desirous of fathoming his designs and of preventing their consequences, but he hid himself skillfully from my eyes, and all in vain, I searchedfor him for a long time. )

CHAPTER THE ELEVENTH. 

After having had the whole town under my eyes, I returned to the littleroom and, having claimed the kisses which were mine in good faith, Iencircled the boy in the closest of embraces and enjoyed the effect ofour happy vows to a point that might be envied. Nor had all theceremonies been completed, when Ascyltos stole stealthily up to theoutside of the door and, violently wrenching off the bars, burst in uponme, toying with my "brother. " He filled the little room with hislaughter and hand-clapping, pulled away the cloak which covered us, "Whatare you up to now, most sanctimonious 'brother'?" he jeered. "What'sgoing on here, a blanket-wedding?" Nor did he confine himself to words, but, pulling the strap off his bag, he began to lash me very thoroughly, interjecting sarcasms the while, "This is the way you would share withyour comrade, is it!" (The unexpectedness of the thing compelled me toendure the blows in silence and to put up with the abuse, so I smiled atmy calamity, and very prudently, too, as otherwise I should have been putto the necessity of fighting with a rival. My pretended good humorsoothed his anger, and at last, Ascyltos smiled as well. "See here, Encolpius, " he said, "are you so engrossed with your debaucheries thatyou do not realize that our money is gone, and that what we have left isof no value? In the summer, times are bad in the city. The country isluckier, let's go and visit our friends. " Necessity compelled theapproval of this plan, and the repression of any sense of injury as well, so, loading Giton with our packs, we left the city and hastened to thecountry-seat of Lycurgus, a Roman knight. Inasmuch as Ascyltos hasformerly served him in the capacity of "brother, " he received us royally, and the company there assembled, rendered our stay still more delightful. In the first place, there was Tryphaena, a most beautiful woman, who hadcome in company with Lycas, the master of a vessel and owner of estatesnear the seashore. Although Lycurgus kept a frugal table, the pleasureswe enjoyed in this most enchanting spot cannot be described in words. Of course you know that Venus joined us all up, as quickly as possible. The lovely Tryphaena pleased my taste, and listened willingly to my vows, but hardly had I had time to enjoy her favors when Lycas, in a toweringrage because his preserves had been secretly invaded, demanded that Iindemnify him in her stead. She was an old flame of his, so he broachedthe subject of a mutual exchange of favors. Burning with lust, hepressed his suit, but Tryphaena possessed my heart, and I said Lycas nay. By refusal, however, he was only made more ardent, followed meeverywhere, entered my room at night, and, after his entreaties had metwith contempt, he had recourse to violence against me, at which I yelledso lustily that I aroused the entire household, and, by the help ofLycurgus, I was delivered from the troublesome assault and escaped. Atlast, perceiving that the house of Lycurgus was not suitable to theprosecution of his design, he attempted to persuade me to seek hishospitality, and when his suggestion was refused, he made use ofTryphaena's influence over me. She besought me to comply with Lycas'desires, and she did this all the more readily as by that she hoped togain more liberty of action. With affairs in this posture, I follow mylove, but Lycurgus, who had renewed his old relations with Ascyltos, would not permit him to leave, so it was decided that he should remainwith Lycurgus, but that we would accompany Lycas. Nevertheless, we hadit understood among ourselves that whenever the opportunity presenteditself, we would each pilfer whatever we could lay hands upon, for thebetterment of the common stock. Lycas was highly delighted with myacceptance of his invitation and hastened our departure, so, bidding ourfriends good-bye, we arrived at his place on the very same day. Lycashad so arranged matters that, on the journey, he sat beside me, whileTryphaena was next to Giton, the reason for this being his knowledgeof the woman's notorious inconstancy; nor was he deceived, for sheimmediately fell in love with the boy, and I easily perceived it. In addition, Lycas took the trouble of calling my attention to thesituation, and laid stress upon the truth of what we saw. On thisaccount, I received his advances more graciously, at which he wasoverjoyed. He was certain that contempt would be engendered from theinconstancy of my "sister, " with the result that, being piqued atTryphaena, I would all the more freely receive his advances. Now thiswas the state of affairs at the house of Lycas, Tryphaena was desperatelyin love with Giton, Giton's whole soul was aflame for her, neither ofthem was a pleasing sight to my eyes, and Lycas, studying to please me, arranged novel entertainments each day, which Doris, his lovely wife, seconded to the best of her ability, and so gracefully that she soonexpelled Tryphaena from my heart. A wink of the eye acquainted Doris ofmy passion, a coquettish glance informed me of the state of her heart, and this silent language, anticipating the office of the tongue, secretlyexpressed that longing of our souls which we had both experienced at thesame instant. The jealousy of Lycas, already well known to me, was thecause of my silence, but love itself revealed to the wife the designswhich Lycas had upon me. At our first opportunity of exchangingconfidences, she revealed to me what she had discovered and I candidlyconfessed, telling her of the coldness with which I had always met hisadvances. The far-sighted woman remarked that it would be necessary forus to use our wits. It turned out that her advice was sound, for I soonfound out that complacency to the one meant possession of the other. Giton, in the meantime, was recruiting his exhausted strength, andTryphaena turned her attention to me, but, meeting with a repulse, sheflounced out in a rage. The next thing this burning harlot did was todiscover my commerce with both husband and wife. As for his wantonnesswith me, she flung that aside, as by it she lost nothing, but she fellupon the secret gratifications of Doris and made them known to Lycas, who, his jealousy proving stronger than his lust, took steps to getrevenge. Doris, however, forewarned by Tryphaena's maid, looked outfor squalls and held aloof from any secret assignations. When I becameaware of all this, I heartily cursed the perfidy of Tryphaena and theungrateful soul of Lycas, and made up my mind to be gone. Fortunefavored me, as it turned out, for a vessel sacred to Isis and laden withprize-money had, only the day before, run upon the rocks in the vicinity. After holding a consultation with Giton, at which he gladly gave consentto my plan, as Tryphaena visibly neglected him after having sapped hisvirility, we hastened to the sea-shore early on the following morning, and boarded the wreck, a thing easy of accomplishment as the watchmen, who were in the pay of Lycas, knew us well. But they were so attentiveto us that there was no opportunity of stealing a thing until, havingleft Giton with them, I craftily slipped out of sight and sneaked aftwhere the statue of Isis stood, and despoiled it of a valuable mantle anda silver sistrum. From the master's cabin, I also pilfered othervaluable trifles and, stealthily sliding down a rope, went ashore. Gitonwas the only one who saw me and he evaded the watchmen and slipped awayafter me. I showed him the plunder, when he joined me, and we decidedto post with all speed to Ascyltos, but we did not arrive at the home ofLycurgus until the following day. In a few words I told Ascyltos of therobbery, when he joined us, and of our unfortunate love-affairs as well. He was for prepossessing the mind of Lycurgus in our favor, naming theincreasing wantonness of Lycas as the cause of our secret and suddenchange of habitation. When Lycurgus had heard everything, he sworethat he would always be a tower of strength between us and our enemies. Until Tryphaena and Doris were awake and out of bed, our flight remainedundiscovered, for we paid them the homage of a daily attendance at themorning toilette. When our unwonted absence was noted, Lycas sent outrunners to comb the sea-shore, for he suspected that we had been to thewreck, but he was still unaware of the robbery, which was yet unknownbecause the stern of the wreck was lying away from the beach, and themaster had not, as yet, gone back aboard. Lycas flew into a toweringrage when our flight was established for certain, and railed bitterly atDoris, whom he considered as the moving factor in it. Of the hard wordsand the beating he gave her I will say nothing, for the particulars arenot known to me, but I will affirm that Tryphaena, who was the sole causeof the unpleasantness, persuaded Lycas to hunt for his fugitives in thehouse of Lycurgus, which was our most probable sanctuary. Shevolunteered to accompany him in person, so that she could load us withthe abuse which we deserved at her hands. They set out on the followingday and arrived at the estate of Lycurgus, but we were not there, for hehad taken us to a neighboring town to attend the feast of Hercules, whichwas there being celebrated. As soon as they found out about this, theyhastened to take to the road and ran right into us in the portico of thetemple. At sight of them, we were greatly put out, and Lycas held forthviolently to Lycurgus, upon the subject of our flight, but he was metwith raised eyebrows and such a scowling forehead that I plucked upcourage and, in a loud voice, passed judgment upon his lewd and baseattempts and assaults upon me, not in the house of Lycurgus alone, buteven under his own roof: and as for the meddling Tryphaena, she receivedher just deserts, for, at great length, I described her moral turpitudeto the crowd, our altercation had caused a mob to collect, and, to giveweight to my argument, I pointed to limber-hamed Giton, drained dry, asit were, and to myself, reduced almost to skin and bones by the raginglust of that nymphomaniac harlot. So humiliated were our enemies by theguffaws of the mob, that in gloomy ill-humor they beat a retreat to plotrevenge. As they perceived that we had prepossessed the mind of Lycurgusin our favor, they decided to await his return, at his estate, in orderthat they might wean him away from his misapprehension. As thesolemnities did not draw to a close until late at night, we could notreach Lycurgus' country place, so he conducted us to a villa of his, situated near the halfway point of the journey, and, leaving us to sleepthere until the next day, he set off for his estate for the purpose oftransacting some business. Upon his arrival, he found Lycas andTryphaena awaiting him, and they stated their case so diplomatically thatthey prevailed upon him to deliver us into their hands. Lycurgus, cruelby nature and incapable of keeping his word, was by this time striving tohit upon the best method of betraying us, and to that end, he persuadedLycas to go for help, while he himself returned to the villa and had usput under guard. To the villa he came, and greeted us with a scowl asblack as any Lycas himself had ever achieved, clenching his fists againand again, he charged us with having lied about Lycas, and, turningAscyltos out, he gave orders that we were to be kept confined to the roomin which we had retired to rest. Nor would he hear a word in ourdefense, from Ascyltos, but, taking the latter with him, he returned tohis estate, reiterating his orders relative to our confinement, which wasto last until his return. On the way back, Ascyltos vainly essayed tobreak down Lycurgus' determination, but neither prayers nor caresses, noreven tears could move him. Thereupon my "brother" conceived the designof freeing us from our chains, and, antagonized by the stubbornness ofLycurgus, he positively refused to sleep with him, and through this hewas in a better position to carry out the plan which he had thought out. When the entire household was buried in its first sleep, Ascyltos loadedour little packs upon his back and slipped out through a breach in thewall, which he had previously noted, arriving at the villa with the dawn. He gained entrance without opposition and found his way to our room, which the guards had taken the precaution to bar. It was easy to forcean entrance, as the fastening was made of wood, which same he pried offwith a piece of iron. The fall of the lock roused us, for we weresnoring away, in spite of our unfortunate situation. On account of thelong vigil, the guard was in such a deep sleep that we alone were wakenedby the crashing fall of the lock, and Ascyltos, coming in, told us in afew words what he had done for us; but as far as that goes, not many werenecessary. We were hurriedly dressing, when I was seized with the notionof killing the guard and stripping the place. This plan I confided toAscyltos, who approved of the looting, but pointed out a more desirablesolution without bloodshed: knowing all the crooks and turns, as he did, he led us to a store-room which he opened. We gathered up all that wasof value and sallied forth while it was yet early in the morning. Shunning the public roads; we could not rest until we believed ourselvessafe from pursuit. Ascyltos, when he had caught his breath, gloatinglyexulted of the pleasure which the looting of a villa belonging toLycurgus, a superlatively avaricious man, afforded him: he complained, with justice of his parsimony, affirming that he himself had received noreward for his k-nightly services, that he had been kept at a dry tableand on a skimpy ration of food. This Lycurgus was so stingy that hedenied himself even the necessities of life, his immense wealth to thecontrary notwithstanding. )

 The tortured Tantalus still stands, to parch in his shifting pool, And starve, when fruit sways just beyond his grasp:

 The image of the miser rich, when his avaricious soul

 Robs him of food and drink, in Plenty's clasp. 

(Ascyltos was for going to Naples that same day, but I protested theimprudence of going to any place where they would be on the lookout forus. "Let's absent ourselves, for a while, and travel in the country. Weare well supplied with means. " This advice took his fancy and we set outfor a part of the country noted for the beauty of its estates, and wherenot a few of our acquaintances were enjoying the sports of the season. Scarcely had we covered half the distance, however, before it began topour down rain by the bucketful, compelling us to run for the nearestvillage. Upon entering the inn, we noticed many other wayfarers, who hadput up there to escape the storm. The jam prevented our being watched, and at the same time made it easier for us to pry about with curiouseyes, on the alert for something to appropriate. Ascyltos, unseen byanyone, picked up off the ground a little pouch in which he found somegold pieces. We were overjoyed with this auspicious beginning, but, fearing that some one would miss the gold, we stealthily slipped out bythe back door. A slave, who was saddling a horse in the courtyard, suddenly left his work and went into the house, as if he had forgottensomething, and while he was gone I appropriated a superb mantle which wastied fast to the saddle, by untying the thongs, then, utilizing a row ofoutbuildings for cover, we made off into the nearest wood. When we hadreached the depths of the grove, where we were in safety, we thoroughlydiscussed the surest method of secreting our gold, so that we wouldneither be accused of robbery nor robbed ourselves, and we finallydecided to sew it into the hem of a ragged tunic, which I threw over myshoulders, after having turned the mantle over to Ascyltos forsafekeeping; we then made ready to start for the city via theunfrequented roads. We were just about to emerge from the shelter ofthe wood when we heard, from somewhere on our left, "They can't get away, they came into this wood; let's spread out and beat, and they will easilybe caught!" On hearing this, we were thrown into such a terrible frightthat Ascyltos and Giton dashed away city-ward, through the underbrush, and I retreated in such a hurry that the precious tunic slipped off myshoulders without my knowing it. At last, completely fagged out, andunable to take another step, I lay down under a tree, and there I firstbecame aware of the loss of the tunic. Chagrin restored my strength andI leaped to my feet to look for the treasure, and for a long time I beataround in vain. Worn out with work and vexation, I forced my way intothe thickest part of the grove and remained there for four mortal hours, but at last, bored to extinction by the horrible solitude, I sought a wayout. As I went ahead, I caught sight of a peasant; then I had need ofall my nerve, and it did not fail me. Marching boldly up to him, I askedmy way to the city, complaining that I had been lost in the wood forseveral hours. Seeing my condition, he took pity upon me, for I wascovered with mud and paler than death, and asked me whether I had seenanyone in the place. "Not a soul, " I replied, whereupon he kindlyconducted me to the high road, where he met two of his companions, whoinformed him that they had beaten along every path in the forest withouthaving found anything except a tunic, which they showed him. As may bereadily supposed, I did not have the audacity to claim it, though wellaware of its value, and my chagrin became almost insupportable as Ivented many a groaning curse over my lost treasure. The peasants paidno attention to me, and I was gradually left behind, as my weaknessincreased my pace decreased. For this reason, it was late when I reachedthe city, and, entering the inn, beheld Ascyltos, stretched out, halfdead, upon a cot. Too far gone to utter a single syllable, I threwmyself upon another. Ascyltos became greatly excited at not seeing thetunic which he had entrusted to me, demanding it insistently, but I wasso weak that my voice refused its office and I permitted the apathy of myeyes to answer his demand, then, by and by, regaining my strength littleby little, I related the whole affair to Ascyltos, in every detail. Hethought that I was joking, and although my testimony was fortified by acopious flood of tears, it could easily be seen that he remainedunconvinced, believing that I wanted to cheat him out of the gold. Giton, who was standing by during all this, was as downcast as myself, and the suffering of the lad only served to increase my own vexation, butthe thing which bothered me most of all, was the painstaking search whichwas being made for us; I told Ascyltos of this, but he only laughed itoff, as he had so happily extricated himself from the scrape. He wasconvinced that, as we were unknown and as no one had seen us, we wereperfectly safe. We decided, nevertheless, to feign sickness, and to keepto our room as long as possible; but, before we knew it, our money ranout, and spurred by necessity we were forced to go abroad and sell someof our plunder. )

CHAPTER THE TWELFTH. 

Twilight was falling, as we entered the market-place, in which we noticeda quantity of things for sale, not any of much value, it is true, butsuch as could be disposed of to the best advantage when the semi-darknesswould serve to hide their doubtful origin. As we had brought our stolenmantle, we proceeded to make use of so favorable an opportunity, and, ina secluded spot, displayed a corner of it, hoping the splendid garmentwould attract some purchaser. Nor was it long before a certain peasant, whose face was familiar to my eyes, came up, accompanied by a youngwoman, and began to examine the garment very closely. Ascyltos, in turn, cast a glance at the shoulders of our rustic customer, and was instantlystruck dumb with astonishment. Nor could I myself look upon this manwithout some emotion, for he seemed to be the identical person who hadpicked up the ragged tunic in the lonely wood, and, as a matter of fact, he was! Ascyltos, afraid to believe the evidence of his own eyes forfear of doing something rash, approached the man, as a prospective buyer, took the hem of the tunic from the rustic's shoulders, and felt itthoroughly. 

CHAPTER THE THIRTEENTH. 

Oh wonderful stroke of Fortune! The peasant had not yet laid hismeddling hands upon the seams, but was scornfully offering the thing forsale, as though it had been the leavings of some beggar. When Ascyltoshad assured himself that the hoard was intact, and had taken note of thesocial status of the seller, he led me a little aside from the crowd andsaid, "Do you know, 'brother, ' that the treasure about which I was soworked up has come back to us? That is the little tunic, and it seemsthat the gold pieces are still untouched. What ought we to do, and howshall we make good our claim?" I was overjoyed, not so much at seeingour booty, as I was for the reason that Fortune had released me from avery ugly suspicion. I was opposed to doing anything by devious methods, thinking that should he prove unwilling to restore to the proper owner anarticle not his own, it ought to come to a civil action and a judgmentsecured. 

CHAPTER THE FOURTEENTH. 

Not so Ascyltos, who was afraid of the law, and demurred, "Who knows ushere? Who will place any credence in anything we say? It seems to methat it would be better to buy, ours though it is, and we know it, andrecover the treasure at small cost, rather than to engage in a doubtfullawsuit. "

 Of what avail are any laws, where money rules alone, Where Poverty can never win its cases?

 Detractors of the times, who bear the Cynic's scrip, are known

 To often sell the truth, and keep their faces!

 So Justice is at public auction bought, The knight gives judgement as Gold says he ought. 

But, with the exception of a two-as piece with which we had intendedpurchasing peas and lupines, there was nothing to hand; so, for fear ourloot should escape us in the interim, we resolved to appraise the mantleat less, and, through a small sacrifice, secure a greater profit. Accordingly, we spread it out, and the young woman of the covered head, who was standing by the peasant's side, narrowly inspected the markings, seized the hem with both hands, and screamed "Thieves!" at the top of hervoice. We were greatly disconcerted at this and, for fear thatinactivity on our part should seem to lend color to her charges, welaid hold of the dirty ragged tunic, in our turn, and shouted with equalspite, that this was our property which they had in their possession; butour cases were by no means on an equality, and the hucksters who hadcrowded around us at the uproar, laughed at our spiteful claim, and verynaturally, too, since one side laid claim to a very valuable mantle, while the other demanded a rag which was not worth a good patch. 

CHAPTER THE FIFTEENTH. 

Ascyltos, when he had secured silence, adroitly put a stop to theirlaughter by exclaiming, "We can see that each puts the greater value uponhis own property. Let them return our tunic to us, and take back theirmantle!" This exchange was satisfactory enough to the peasant and theyoung woman, but some night-prowling shyster lawyers, who wished to getpossession of the mantle for their own profit, demanded that botharticles be deposited with them, and the judge could look into the caseon the morrow, for it would appear that the ownership of the articles wasnot so much to the point as was the suspicion of robbery that attachedto both sides. The question of sequestration arose, and one of thehucksters, I do not remember which, but he was bald, and his forehead wascovered with sebaceous wens, and he sometimes did odd jobs for thelawyers, seized the mantle and vowed that HE would see to it that it wasproduced at the proper time and place, but it was easily apparent that hedesired nothing but that the garment should be deposited with thieves, and vanish; thinking that we would be afraid to appear as claimants forfear of being charged with crime. As far as we were concerned, we wereas willing as he, and Fortune aided the cause of each of us, for thepeasant, infuriated at our demand that his rags be shown in public, threwthe tunic in Ascyltos' face, released us from responsibility, anddemanded that the mantle, which was the only object of litigation, besequestered. As we thought we had recovered our treasure, we returnedhurriedly to the inn, and fastening the door, we had a good laugh at theshrewdness of the hucksters, and not less so at that of our enemies, forby it they had returned our money to us. (While we were unstitching thetunic to get at the gold pieces, we overheard some one quizzing theinnkeeper as to what kind of people those were, who had just entered hishouse. Alarmed at this inquiry, I went down, when the questioner hadgone, to find out what was the matter, and learned that the praetor'slictor, whose duty it was to see that the names of strangers were enteredin his rolls, had seen two people come into the inn, whose names were notyet entered, and that was the reason he had made inquiry as to theirnames and means of support. Mine host furnished this information in suchan offhand manner that I became suspicious as to our entire safety in hishouse; so, in order to avoid arrest, we decided to go out, and not toreturn home until after dark, and we sallied forth, leaving themanagement of dinner to Giton. As it suited our purpose to avoid thepublic streets, we strolled through the more unfrequented parts of thecity, and just at dusk we met two women in stolas, in a lonely spot, andthey were by no means homely. Walking softly, we followed them to atemple which they entered, and from which we could hear a curioushumming, which resembled the sound of voices issuing from the depths of acavern. Curiosity impelled us also to enter the temple. There we caughtsight of many women, who resembled Bacchantes, each of whom brandished inher right hand an emblem of Priapus. We were not permitted to see more, for as their eyes fell upon us, they raised such a hubbub that the vaultof the temple trembled. They attempted to lay hands upon us, but we ranback to our inn as fast as we could go. )

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. 

We had just disposed of the supper prepared by Giton, when there came atimid rapping at the door. We turned pale. "Who is there?" we asked. "Open and you will find out, " came the answer. While we were speaking, the bar fell down of its own accord, the doors flew open and admitted ourvisitor. She was the selfsame young lady of the covered head who had buta little while before stood by the peasant's side. "So you thought, "said she, "that you could make a fool of me, did you? I am Quartilla'shandmaid: Quartilla, whose rites you interrupted in the shrine. She hascome to the inn, in person, and begs permission to speak with you. Don'tbe alarmed! She neither blames your mistake nor does she demandpunishment; on the contrary, she wonders what god has brought suchwell-bred young gentlemen into her neighborhood!"

CHAPTER THE SEVENTEENTH. 

We were still holding our tongues and refraining from any expression ofopinion, when the lady herself entered the room, attended by a littlegirl. Seating herself upon the bed, she wept for a long time. Not eventhen did we interject a single word, but waited, all attention, for whatwas to follow these well ordered tears and this show of grief. When thediplomatic thunderstorm had passed over, she withdrew her haughty headfrom her mantle and, ringing her hands until the joints cracked, "What isthe meaning of such audacity?" she demanded; "where did you learn suchtricks? They are worthy of putting to shame the assurance of all therobbers of the past! I pity you, so help me the God of Truth, I do; forno one can look with impunity upon that which it is unlawful for him tosee. In our neighborhood, there are so many gods that it is easier tomeet one than it is to find a man! But do not think that I was actuatedby any desire for revenge when I came here: I am more moved by your agethan I am by my own injury, for it is my belief that youthful imprudenceled you into committing a sacrilegious crime. That very night, I tossedso violently in the throes of a dangerous chill that I was afraid I hadcontracted a tertian ague, and in my dreams I prayed for a medicine. Iwas ordered to seek you out, and to arrest the progress of the disease bymeans of an expedient to be suggested by your wonderful penetration! Thecure does not matter so much, however, for a deeper grief gnaws at myvitals and drags me down, almost to the very doors of death itself. I amafraid that, with the careless impulsiveness of youth, you may divulge, to the common herd, what you witnessed in the shrine of Priapus, andreveal the rites of the gods to the rabble. On this account, I stretchout my suppliant hands to your knees, and beg and pray that you do notmake a mockery and a joke of our nocturnal rites, nor lay bare thesecrets of so many years, into which scarcely a thousand persons areinitiated. "

CHAPTER THE EIGHTEENTH. 

The tears poured forth again, after this appeal, and, shaken by deepsobs, she buried her whole face and breast in my bed; and I, moved bypity and by apprehension, begged her to be of good cheer and to makeherself perfectly easy as to both of those issues, for not only would wenot betray any secrets to the rabble, but we would also second divineprovidence, at any peril to ourselves, if any god had indicated to herany cure for her tertian ague. The woman cheered up at this promise, andsmothered me with kisses; from tears she passed to laughter, and fell torunning her fingers through the long hair that hung down about my ears. "I will declare a truce with you, " she said, "and withdraw my complaint. But had you been unwilling to administer the medicine which I seek, I hada troop in readiness for the morrow, which would have exactedsatisfaction for my injury and reparation for my dignity!

 To be flouted is disgraceful, but to dictate terms, sublime

 Pleased am I to choose what course I will, Even sages will retort an insult at the proper tune. 

 Victor most is he who does not kill. "

Then she suddenly clapped her hands, and broke into such a peal oflaughter that we were alarmed. The maid, who had been the first toarrive, did likewise, on one side of us, as also did the little girl whohad entered with the madame herself. 

CHAPTER THE NINETEENTH. 

The whole place was filled with mocking laughter, and we, who could seeno reason for such a change of front, stared blankly at each other andthen at the women. (Then Quartilla spoke up, finally, ) "I gave ordersthat no mortal man should be admitted into this inn, this day, so that Icould receive the treatment for my ague without interruption!" Ascyltoswas, for the moment, struck dumb by this admission of Quartilla's, and Iturned colder than a Gallic winter, and could not utter a word; but thepersonnel of the company relieved me from the fear that the worst mightbe yet to come, for they were only three young women, too weak to attemptany violence against us, who were of the male sex, at least, even if wehad nothing else of the man about us, and this was an asset. Then, too, we were girded higher, and I had so arranged matters that if it came to afight, I would engage Quartilla myself, Ascyltos the maid, and Giton thegirl. (While I was turning over this plan in my mind, Quartilla came toclose quarters, to receive the treatment for her ague, but having herhopes disappointed, she flounced out in a rage and, returning in a littlewhile, she had us overpowered by some unknown vagabonds, and gave ordersfor us to be carried away to a splendid palace. ) Then our determinationgave place to astonishment, and death, sure and certain, began to obscurethe eyes of suffering. 

CHAPTER THE TWENTIETH. 

"Pray; madame, " I groaned, "if you have anything worse in store, bring iton quickly for we have not committed a crime so heinous as to merit deathby torture. " The maid, whose name was Psyche, quickly spread a blanketupon the floor (and) sought to secure an erection by fondling my member, which was already a thousand times colder than death. Ascyltos, wellaware by now of the danger of dipping into the secrets of others, coveredhis head with his mantle. (In the meantime, ) the maid took two ribbonsfrom her bosom and bound our feet with one and our hands with the other. (Finding myself trussed up in this fashion, I remarked, "You will not beable to cure your mistress' ague in this manner!" "Granted, " the maidreplied, "but I have other and surer remedies at hand, " she brought me avessel full of satyrion, as she said this, and so cheerfully did shegossip about its virtues that I drank down nearly all of the liquor, andbecause Ascyltos had but a moment before rejected her advances, shesprinkled the dregs upon his back, without his knowing it. ) When thisrepartee had drawn to a close, Ascyltos exclaimed, "Don't I deserve adrink?" Given away by my laughter, the maid clapped her hands and cried, "I put one by you, young man; did you drink so much all by yourself?""What's that you say?", Quartilla chimed in. "Did Encolpius drink allthe satyrion there was in the house?" And she laughed delightfully untilher sides shook. Finally not even Giton himself could resist a smile, especially when the little girl caught him around the neck and showeredinnumerable kisses upon him, and he not at all averse to it. 

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIRST. 

We would have cried aloud in our misery but there was no one to give usany help, and whenever I attempted to shout, "Help! all honestcitizens, " Psyche would prick my cheeks with her hairpin, and the littlegirl would intimidate Ascyltos with a brush dipped in satyrion. Then acatamite appeared, clad in a myrtle-colored frieze robe, and girded roundwith a belt. One minute he nearly gored us to death with his writhingbuttocks, and the next, he befouled us so with his stinking kisses thatQuartilla, with her robe tucked high, held up her whalebone wand andordered him to give the unhappy wretches quarter. Both of us then took amost solemn oath that so dread a secret should perish with us. Severalwrestling instructors appeared and refreshed us, worn out as we were, bya massage with pure oil, and when our fatigue had abated, we again donnedour dining clothes and were escorted to the next room, in which wereplaced three couches, and where all the essentials necessary to asplendid banquet were laid out in all their richness. We took ourplaces, as requested, and began with a wonderful first course. We wereall but submerged in Falernian wine. When several other courses hadfollowed, and we were endeavoring to keep awake Quartilla exclaimed, "Howdare you think of going to sleep when you know that the vigil of Priapusis to be kept?"

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SECOND. 

Worn out by all his troubles, Ascyltos commenced to nod, and the maid, whom he had slighted, and of course insulted, smeared lampblack all overhis face, and painted his lips and shoulders with vermillion, while hedrowsed. Completely exhausted by so many untoward adventures, I, too, was enjoying the shortest of naps, the whole household, within andwithout, was doing the same, some were lying here and there asleep at ourfeet, others leaned against the walls, and some even slept head to headupon the threshold itself; the lamps, failing because of a lack of oil, shed a feeble and flickering light, when two Syrians, bent upon stealingan amphora of wine, entered the dining-room. While they were greedilypawing among the silver, they pulled the amphora in two, upsetting thetable with all the silver plate, and a cup, which had flown pretty high, cut the head of the maid, who was drowsing upon a couch. She screamed atthat, thereby betraying the thieves and wakening some of the drunkards. The Syrians, who had come for plunder, seeing that they were about to bedetected, were so quick to throw themselves down besides a couch andcommence to snore as if they had been asleep for a long time, that youwould have thought they belonged there. The butler had gotten up andpoured oil in the flickering lamps by this time, and the boys, havingrubbed their eyes open, had returned to their duty, when in came a femalecymbal player and the crashing brass awoke everybody. 

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD. 

The banquet began all over again, and Quartilla challenged us to adrinking-bout, the crash of the cymbals lending ardor to her revel. A catamite appeared, the stalest of all mankind, well worthy of thathouse. Heaving a sigh, he wrung his hands until the joints cracked, and spouted out the following verses, "Hither, hither quickly gather, pathic companions boon; Artfully stretch forth your limbs and on with the dance and play! Twinkling feet and supple thighs and agile buttocks in tune, Hands well skilled in raising passions, Delian eunuchs gay!"

When he had finished his poetry, he slobbered a most evil-smelling kissupon me, and then, climbing upon my couch, he proceeded with all hismight and main to pull all of my clothing off. I resisted to the limitof my strength. He manipulated my member for a long time, but all invain. Gummy streams poured down his sweating forehead, and there was somuch chalk in the wrinkles of his cheeks that you might have mistaken hisface for a roofless wall, from which the plaster was crumbling in a rain. 

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH. 

Driven to the last extremity, I could no longer keep back the tears. "Madame, " I burst out, "is this the night-cap which you ordered served tome?" Clapping her hands softly she cried out, "Oh you witty rogue, youare a fountain of repartee, but you never knew before that a catamite wascalled a k-night-cap, now did you?" Then, fearing my companion would comeoff better than I, "Madame, " I said, "I leave it to your sense offairness: is Ascyltos to be the only one in this dining-room who keepsholiday?" "Fair enough, " conceded Quartilla, "let Ascyltos have hisk-night-cap too!" On hearing that, the catamite changed mounts, and, having bestridden my comrade, nearly drove him to distraction with hisbuttocks and his kisses. Giton was standing between us and splitting hissides with laughter when Quartilla noticed him, and actuated by theliveliest curiosity, she asked whose boy he was, and upon my answeringthat he was my "brother, " "Why has he not kissed me then?" shedemanded. Calling him to her, she pressed a kiss upon his mouth, thenputting her hand beneath his robe, she took hold of his little member, asyet so undeveloped. "This, " she remarked, "shall serve me very welltomorrow, as a whet to my appetite, but today I'll take no common fareafter choice fish!"

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH. 

She was still talking when Psyche, who was giggling, came to her side andwhispered something in her ear. What it was, I did not catch. "By allmeans, " ejaculated Quartilla, "a brilliant idea! Why shouldn't ourpretty little Pannychis lose her maidenhead when the opportunity is sofavorable?" A little girl, pretty enough, too, was led in at once; shelooked to be not over seven years of age, and she was the same one whohad before accompanied Quartilla to our room. Amidst universal applause, and in response to the demands of all, they made ready to perform thenuptial rites. I was completely out of countenance, and insisted thatsuch a modest boy as Giton was entirely unfitted for such a wanton part, and moreover, that the child was not of an age at which she could receivethat which a woman must take. "Is that so, " Quartilla scoffed, "is sheany younger than I was, when I submitted to my first man? Juno, mypatroness, curse me if I can remember the time when I ever was a virgin, for I diverted myself with others of my own age, as a child then as theyears passed, I played with bigger boys, until at last I reached mypresent age. I suppose that this explains the origin of the proverb, 'Who carried the calf may carry the bull, ' as they say. " As I fearedthat Giton might run greater risk if I were absent, I got up to takepart in the ceremony. 

CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH. 

Psyche had already enveloped the child's head in the bridal-veil, thecatamite, holding a torch, led the long procession of drunken women whichfollowed; they were clapping their hands, having previously decked outthe bridal-bed with a suggestive drapery. Quartilla, spurred on by thewantonness of the others, seized hold of Giton and drew him into thebridal-chamber. There was no doubt of the boy's perfect willingness togo, nor was the girl at all alarmed at the name of marriage. When theywere finally in bed, and the door shut, we seated ourselves outside thedoor of the bridal-chamber, and Quartilla applied a curious eye to achink, purposely made, watching their childish dalliance with lasciviousattention. She then drew me gently over to her side that I might sharethe spectacle with her, and when we both attempted to peep our faces werepressed against each other; whenever she was not engrossed in theperformance, she screwed up her lips to meet mine, and pecked at mecontinually with furtive kisses. [A thunderous hammering was heard atthe door, while all this was going on, and everyone wondered what thisunexpected interruption could mean, when we saw a soldier, one of thenight-watch, enter with a drawn sword in his hand, and surrounded by acrowd of young rowdies. He glared about him with savage eyes andblustering mien, and, catching sight of Quartilla, presently, "What's upnow, you shameless woman, " he bawled; "what do you mean by making game ofme with lying promises, and cheating me out of the night you promised me?But you won't get off unpunished You and that lover of yours are going tofind out that I'm a man!" At the soldier's orders, his companion boundQuartilla and myself together, mouth to mouth, breast to breast, andthigh to thigh; and not without a great deal of laughter. Then thecatamite, also at the soldier's order, began to beslaver me all over withthe fetid kisses of his stinking mouth, a treatment I could neither flyfrom, nor in any other way avoid. Finally, he ravished me, and workedhis entire pleasure upon me. In the meantime, the satyrion which I haddrunk only a little while before spurred every nerve to lust and I beganto gore Quartilla impetuously, and she, burning with the same passion, reciprocated in the game. The rowdies laughed themselves sick, so movedwere they by that ludicrous scene, for here was I, mounted by the stalestof catamites, involuntarily and almost unconsciously responding with asrapid a cadence to him as Quartilla did in her wriggling under me. Whilethis was going on, Pannychis, unaccustomed at her tender years to thepastime of Venus, raised an outcry and attracted the attention of thesoldier, by this unexpected howl of consternation, for this slip of agirl was being ravished, and Giton the victor, had won a not bloodlessvictory. Aroused by what he saw, the soldier rushed upon them, seizingPannychis, then Giton, then both of them together, in a crushing embrace. The virgin burst into tears and plead with him to remember her age, buther prayers availed her nothing, the soldier only being fired the more byher childish charms. Pannychis covered her head at last, resolved toendure whatever the Fates had in store for her. At this instant, an oldwoman, the very same who had tricked me on that day when I was huntingfor our lodging, came to the aid of Pannychis, as though she had droppedfrom the clouds. With loud cries, she rushed into the house, swearingthat a gang of footpads was prowling about the neighborhood and thepeople invoked the help of "All honest men, " in vain, for the members ofthe night-watch were either asleep or intent upon some carouse, as theywere nowhere to be found. Greatly terrified at this, the soldier rushedheadlong from Quartilla's house. His companions followed after him, freeing Pannychis from impending danger and relieving the rest of us fromour fear. ] (I was so weary of Quartilla's lechery that I began tomeditate means of escape. I made my intentions known to Ascyltos, who, as he wished to rid himself of the importunities of Psyche, wasdelighted; had not Giton been shut up in the bridal-chamber, the planwould have presented no difficulties, but we wished to take him with us, and out of the way of the viciousness of these prostitutes. We wereanxiously engaged in debating this very point, when Pannychis fell out ofbed, and dragged Giton after her, by her own weight. He was not hurt, but the girl gave her head a slight bump, and raised such a clamor thatQuartilla, in a terrible fright, rushed headlong into the room, giving usthe opportunity of making off. We did not tarry, but flew back to ourinn where, ) throwing ourselves upon the bed, we passed the remainder ofthe night without fear. (Sallying forth next day, we came upon two ofour kidnappers, one of whom Ascyltos savagely attacked the moment he seteyes upon him, and, after having thrashed and seriously wounded him, he ran to my aid against the other. He defended himself so stoutly, however, that he wounded us both, slightly, and escaped unscathed. ) Thethird day had now dawned, the date set for the free dinner (atTrimalchio's, ) but battered as we were, flight seemed more to our tastethan quiet, so (we hastened to our inn and, as our wounds turned out tobe trifling, we dressed them with vinegar and oil, and went to bed. Theruffian whom we had done for, was still lying upon the ground and wefeared detection. ) Affairs were at this pass, and we were framingmelancholy excuses with which to evade the coming revel, when a slave ofAgamemnon's burst in upon our trembling conclave and said, "Don't youknow with whom your engagement is today? The exquisite Trimalchio, whokeeps a clock and a liveried bugler in his dining-room, so that he cantell, instantly, how much of his life has run out!" Forgetting all ourtroubles at that, we dressed hurriedly and ordered Giton, who had verywillingly performed his servile office, to follow us to the bath. 

ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

Boys play in the schools, the young men are laughed atDeferred pleasures are a long time comingEgyptians "commercialized" that incomparable artErrors committed in the name of religionEverything including the children, is devoted to ambitionLaughed ourselves out of a most disgraceful quarrelNo one will confess the errors he was taught in his school daysPriests, animated by an hypocritical mania for prophecySee or hear nothing at all of the affairs of every-day lifeThe teachers, who must gibber with lunaticsThey secure their ends, save by setting snares for the ears