The Reflections of Ambrosine

A Novel by

Elinor Glyn

NOTE

In thanking the readers who were kind enough to appreciate my "Visitsof Elizabeth, " I take this opportunity of saying that I did not writethe two other books which appeared anonymously. The titles of thoseworks were so worded that they gave the public the impression that Iwas their author. I have never written any book but the "Visits ofElizabeth. " Everything that I write will be signed with my name, ELINOR GLYN

BOOK I

I

I have wondered sometimes if there are not perhaps some disadvantagesin having really blue blood in one's veins, like grandmamma and me. For instance, if we were ordinary, common people our teeth wouldchatter naturally with cold when we have to go to bed without fires inour rooms in December; but we pretend we like sleeping in "well-airedrooms"--at least I have to. Grandmamma simply says we are obliged tomake these small economies, and to grumble would be to lose a trickto fate. 

"Rebel if you can improve matters, " she often tells me, "but otherwiseaccept them with calmness. "

We have had to accept a good many things with calmness since papa madethat tiresome speculation in South America. Before that we had a niceapartment in Paris and as many fires as we wished. However, in spiteof the comfort, grandmamma hated papa's "making" money. It was not thecareer of a gentleman, she said, and when the smash came and one heardno more of papa, I have an idea she was almost relieved. 

We came first over to England, and, after long wanderings backward andforward, took this little furnished place at the corner of LedstonePark. It is just a cottage--once a keeper's, I believe--and we haveonly Hephzibah and a wretched servant-girl to wait on us. Hephzibahwas my nurse in America before we ever went to Paris, and she is asugly as a card-board face on Guy Fawkes day, and as good as gold. 

Grandmamma has had a worrying life. She was brought up at the court ofCharles X. --can one believe it, all those years ago!--her family upto that having lived in Ireland since the great Revolution. Indeed, her mother was Irish, and I think grandmamma still speaks French withan accent. (I hope she will never know I said that. ) Her name wasMademoiselle de Calincourt, the daughter of the Marquis de Calincourt, whose family had owned Calincourt since the time of Charlemagneor something before that. So it was annoying for them to have hadtheir heads chopped off and to be obliged to live in Dublin onnothing a year. The grandmother of grandmamma, Ambrosine Eustasiede Calincourt, after whom I am called, was a famous character. Shewas so good-looking that Robespierre offered to let her retain herhead if she would give him a kiss, but she preferred to drive to theguillotine in the cart with her friends, only she took a rose to keepoff the smell of the common people, and, they say, ran up the stepssmiling. Grandmamma has her miniature, and it is, she says, exactlylike me. 

I have heard that grandmamma's marriage with grandpapa--anEnglishman--was considered at the time to be a very suitable affair. He had also ancestors since before Edward the Confessor. However, unfortunately, a few years after their marriage (grandmamma wasreally _un peu passée_ when that took place) grandpapa made a_bêtise_--something political or diplomatic, but I have never heardexactly what; anyway, it obliged them to leave hurriedly and go toAmerica. Grandmamma never speaks of her life there or of grandpapa, so I suppose he died, because when I first remember things we werecrossing to France in a big ship--just papa, grandmamma, and I. Mymother died when I was born. She was an American of one of the firstoriginal families in Virginia; that is all I know of her. We havenever had a great many friends--even when we lived in Paris--because, you see, as a rule people don't live so long as grandmamma, and theother maids of honor of the court of Charles X. Were all buried yearsago. Grandmamma was eighty-eight last July! No one would think it tolook at her. She is not deaf or blind or any of those annoying things, and she sits bolt-upright in her chair, and her face is not verywrinkled--more like fine, old, white kid. Her hair is arranged withsuch a _chic_; it is white, but she always has it a little powdered aswell, and she wears such becoming caps, rather like the pictures ofMadame du Deffand. They are always of real lace--I know, for I haveto mend them. Some of her dresses are a trifle shabby, but they looksplendid when she puts them on, and her eyes are the eyes of a hawk, the proudest eyes I have ever seen. Her third and little fingers arebent with rheumatism, but she still polishes her nails and covers therest of her hands with mittens. You can't exactly love grandmamma, butyou feel you respect her dreadfully, and it is a great honor when sheis pleased. 

I was twelve when we left Paris, and I am nineteen now. We have livedon and off in England ever since, part of the time in London--that wasdull! All those streets and faces, and no one to speak to, and the mudand the fogs!

During those years we have only twice had glimpses of papa--theshortest visits, with long talks alone with grandmamma and generallyleaving by the early train. 

He seems to me to be rather American, papa, and very coarse to bethe son of grandmamma; but I must say I have always had a sneakingaffection for him. He never takes much notice of me--a pat on the headwhen I was a child, and since an awkward kiss, as if he was afraid ofbreaking a bit of china. I feel somehow that he does not share allof grandmamma's views; he seems, in fact, like a person belonging toquite another world than ours. If it was not that he has the same noseand chin as grandmamma, one would say she had bought him somewhere, and that he could not be her own son. 

Hephzibah says he is good-natured, so perhaps that is why he made a_bêtise_ in South America. One ought never to be called good-natured, grandmamma says--as well write one's self down a noodle at once. Whilewe were in Paris we hardly ever saw papa either; he was always outWest in America, or at Rio, or other odd places. All we knew of himwas, there was plenty of money to grandmamma's account in the bank. 

Grandmamma has given me most of my education herself since we came toEngland, and she has been especially particular about deportment. Ihave never been allowed to lean back in my chair or loll on a sofa, and she has taught me how to go in and out of a room and how toenter a carriage. We had not a carriage, so we had to arrange withfootstools for the steps and a chair on top of a box for the seat. That used to make me laugh!--but I had to do it--into myself. As forwalking, I can carry any sized bundle on my head, and grandmamma saysshe has nothing further to teach me in that respect, and that I havemastered the fact that a gentlewoman should give the impression thatthe ground is hardly good enough to tread on. She has also made me gothrough all kinds of exercises to insure suppleness, and to movefrom the hips. And the day she told me she was pleased I shall neverforget. 

There are three things, she says, a woman ought to look--straight asa dart, supple as a snake, and proud as a tiger-lily. 

Besides deportment I seem to have learned a lot of stuff that I amsure no English girls have to bother about, I probably am unacquaintedwith half the useful, interesting things they know. 

We brought with us a beautifully bound set of French classics, andwe read Voltaire one day, and La Bruyère the next, and Pascal, andFontenelle, and Molière, and Fénelon, and the sermons of Bossuet, and since I have been seventeen the _Maximes_ of La Rochefoucauld. Grandmamma dislikes Jean Jacques; she says he helped the Revolution, and she is all for the _ancien régime_. But in all these books shemakes me skip what I am sure are the nice parts, and there are wholevolumes of Voltaire that I may not even look into. For herselfgrandmamma has numbers of modern books and papers. She says she mustunderstand the times. Besides all these things I have had Englishgovernesses who have done what they could to drum a smattering ofeverything into my head, but we never were able to afford very goodones after we left Paris. 

There is one thing I can do better than the English girls--I amEnglish myself, of course, on account of grandpapa--only I mean theones who have lived here always--and that is, embroider fine cambric. I do all our underlinen, and it is quite as nice as that in the shopsin the Rue de la Paix. Grandmamma says a lady, however poor, shouldwear fine linen, even if she has only one new dress a year--she callsthe stuff worn by people here "sail-cloth"! So I stitch and stitch, summer and winter. 

I do wonder and wonder at things sometimes: what it would be like tobe rich, for instance, and to have brothers and sisters and friends;and what it would be like to have a lover _à l'anglaise_. Grandmammawould think that dreadfully improper until after one was married, butI believe it would be rather nice, and perhaps one could marry him, too. However, there is not much chance of my getting one, or a husbandeither, as I have no _dot_. 

We have an old friend, the Marquis de Rochermont, who pays usperiodical visits. I believe long ago he was grandmamma's lover. Theyhave such beautiful manners together, and their conversation is sointeresting, one can fancy one's self back in that dainty world ofthe engravings of Moreau le Jeune and Freudenberg which we have. Theyare as gay and witty as if they were both young and his feet were notlumpy with gout and her hands crooked with rheumatism. They discussmorals and religion, and, above all, philosophy, and I have learneda great deal by listening. And for morals, it seems one may do whatone pleases as long as one behaves like a lady. And for religion, thefirst thing is to conform to the country one lives in and to conductone's self with decency. As for Philosophy (I put a great big "P" tothat, for it appears to be the chief)--Philosophy seems to settleeverything in life, and enables one to take the ups and downs of fate, the good and the bad, with a smiling face. I mean to study it always, but I dare say it will be easier when I am older. 

On the days when Monsieur de Rochermont comes grandmamma wears thelavender silk for dinner and the best Alençon cap, and Hephzibah staysso long dressing her that I often have to help the servant to laythe table for dinner. The Marquis never arrives until the afternoon, and leaves within a couple of days. He brings an old valet calledTheodore, and they have bandboxes and small valises, and Ibelieve--only I must not say it aloud--that the bandboxes contain hiswigs. The one for dinner is curled and scented, and the travelling oneis much more ordinary. I am sent to bed early on those evenings. 

Each time the Marquis brings a present of game or fine fruit forgrandmamma and a box of bonbons for me. I don't like sweets much, butthe boxes are charming. These visits happen twice a year, in June andDecember, wherever we happen to be. 

The only young men in this part of the world are the curate and twohobbledehoys, the sons of a person who lives in the place beyondLedstone, and they are common and uninteresting and _parvenu_. Allthese people came to call as soon as we arrived, and parsons and oldmaids by the dozen, but grandmamma's exquisite politeness upsets them. I suppose they feel that she considers they are not made of the sameflesh and blood as she is, so we never get intimate with anybodywhatever places we are in. 

Hephzibah has a lover. You can get one in that class no matter howugly you are, it seems, and he is generally years and years youngerthan you are. Hephzibah's is the man who comes round with the grocer'scart for orders, and he is young enough to be her son. I haveseen them talking when I have been getting the irons hot to irongrandmamma's best lace. Hephzibah's face, which is a grayish yellowgenerally, gets a pale beet-root up to her ears, and she looks so coy. But I dare say it feels lovely to her to stand there at the back doorand know some one is interested in what she does and says. 

Ledstone Park is owned by some people of the name of Gurrage--does notit sound a fat word! They are a mother and son, but they have beenat Bournemouth ever since we came, six months ago. It is a frightfulplace, and although it is miles in the country it looks like asuburban villa; the outside is all stucco, and nasty, common-lookingpots and bad statues ornament the drive. They pulled down the smalleroriginal Jacobean house that was there when they bought the place, wehave heard. They are coming home soon, so perhaps we shall see them, but I can't think Gurrage could be the name of really nice people. The parson, of the church came to call at once, but grandmamma nearlymade him spoil his hat, he fidgeted with it so, and he hardly dared toask for more than one subscription--she is so beautifully polite, andshe often is laughing in her sleeve. She says so few people can seethe comic side of things and that it is a great gift and chases awayfoolish _migraines_. I think she has a grand scheme in her head forme, and that is what we are saving up every penny for. 

Grandpapa's people lived in the next county to this, in a placecalled Dane Mount. He was a younger son and in the diplomatic servicebefore he made his _bêtise_, but if he was alive now he would be overa hundred years old, so during that time the family has naturallybranched off a good deal, and we can't be said to be very nearlyrelated to them. The place was not entailed, and went with the femaleline into the Thornhirst family, who live there now. They are rathernew baronets, created by George II. However, I believe grandmamma'sscheme is for us to become acquainted with them, and for me to marrywhichever of them is the right age. The present baronet's name is SirAntony; it is a pretty name, I think. How this is to come about I donot know, and of course I dare not question grandmamma. 

How I wish it was summer again! I hate these damp, cold days, and theeast winds, and the darkness. I wish I might stay in bed until eleven, as grandmamma does. We have our chocolate at seven, which Hephzibahbrings up, and then when I am dressed I practise for an hour; afterthat there are the finishing touches to be put to our sitting-room, and the best Sèvres and the miniatures to be dusted. Grandmamma wouldnot trust any one to do it but me, but by ten I can get out for awalk. 

It used to be dreadfully tiresome until we came here, because I wasnever allowed to go out without Hephzibah, and she was so busy wenever got a chance in the morning, but since we came here I havehad such a pleasure. A dear, clever collie for a friend--we got himfrom the lost dogs' home, and no one can know the joy he is to me. Grandmamma considers him a kind of chaperon, and I am allowed to goalone for quite long walks now, and when we are out of sight and noone is looking we run, and it is such fun. Yesterday there was anexcitement--the hunt passed! It is the first time I have seen oneclose. That must be delightful to rush along on horseback! I couldfeel my heart beating just looking at them, and my dear Roy barked allthe time, and if I had not held his collar I am sure he would havejoined the other dogs to go and catch the fox. Some of the men intheir red coats looked so handsome, and there was one all covered withmud; he must have had a tumble. His stirrup-leather gave way justas he got up to the mound where Roy and I were standing, and he wasobliged to get off his horse and settle it. I am sure by his facehe was swearing to himself at being delayed. His fall had evidentlybroken some strap and he was fumbling in his pocket for a knife tomend it. 

I always wear a little gold chatelaine that belonged to AmbrosineEustasie de Calincourt and is marked with her coronet and initials;it has a tiny knife among the other things hanging from it. The muddyhunter could not find one; he searched in every pocket. At last heturned to me and said: "Do you happen to have a knife by chance?" andthen when he saw I was a girl he took off his hat. It was gray withclay, and so was half of his face, it looked so comic I could not helpsmiling as I caught his one eye; the other was rather swollen. Theone that was visible was a grayish-greeny-blue eye with a black edge. I quickly gave him my knife and he laughed as he took it. "Yes, I dolook a guy, don't I?" he said, and we both laughed again. Even throughthe mud one could see he was a gentleman. He fixed his stirrup soquickly and neatly, but it broke the blade of my little gold knife. 

He apologized profusely, and said he must have it mended, and whereshould he send it? but at that moment there was the sound of the huntcoming across a field near again. He had no time for more manners, butjumped on his horse and was off in a few seconds--and alas! my knifewent with him! And just as I was turning to go home I picked up thebroken blade, which was lying in the road. I hope grandmamma won'tnotice it and ask about it. As I said before, there are disadvantagesin being well born--one cannot tell lies like servants. 

II

The Gurrage family have arrived. We saw carts and a carriage going tomeet them at the station. Their liveries are prune and scarlet, andlook so inharmonious, and they seem to have crests and coats of armson every possible thing. Young Mr. Gurrage is our landlord--but Ithink I said that before. 

On Sunday in church the party entered the Ledstone family pew. Anoldish woman with a huddled figure--how unlike grandmamma!--lookingabout the class of a housekeeper; a girl of my age, with red hair andwhite eye-lashes and a buff hat on; and a young man, dark, thick, common-looking. He seemed kind to his mother, though, and arrangeda cushion for her. Their pew is at right angles to the one I sitin, so I have a full view of them all the time. He has box-pleatedteeth--which seem quite unnecessary when dentists are so good now. Noone would have missed at least four of them if they had been pulledout when he was a boy. His eyes are wishy-washy in spite of beingbrown, and he looks as if he did not have enough sleep. They were allthree self-conscious and conscious of other people. Grandmamma saysin a public place, unless the exigencies of politeness require one tocome into personal contact with people, one ought never to be awarethat there is anything but tables and chairs about. I have not once inmy life seen her even glance around, and yet nothing escapes her hawkeye. Coming out they passed me on the path to the church gate, andMrs. Gurrage stopped, and said:

"Good-mornin', me dear; you must be our new tenant at the cottage. "

Her voice is the voice of quite a common person and has the broadaccent of some county--I don't know which. 

I was so astonished at being called "me dear" by a stranger that forhalf a second I almost forgot grandmamma's maxim of "let nothing inlife put you out of countenance. " However, I did manage to say:

"Yes, I am Miss Athelstan. "

Then the young man said, "I hope you find everything to your likingthere, and that my agent has made things comfortable. "

"We are quite pleased with the cottage, " I said. 

"Well, don't stand on ceremony, " the old woman continued. "Come upand see us at The Hall whenever you like, me dear, and I'll be roundcallin' on your grandma one of these days soon, but don't let thatstop her if she likes to look in at me first. "

I thought of grandmamma "looking in" on this person, and I couldhave laughed aloud; however, I managed to say, politely, that mygrandmother was an aged lady and somewhat rheumatic, and as we had nota carriage I hoped Mrs. Gurrage would excuse her paying her respectsin person. 

"Rheumatic, is she? Well, I have the very thing for the j'ints. Mystill-room maid makes it under my own directions. I'll bring some whenI call. Good-day to you, me dear, " and they bustled on into the armsof the parson's family and other people who were waiting to give thema gushing welcome at the gate. 

Grandmamma laughed so when I told her about them!

Two days afterwards Mrs. Gurrage and Miss Hoad (the red-haired girl isthe niece) came to call. 

Grandmamma was seated as usual in the old Louis XV. _bergère_, whichis one of our household gods. It does not go with the other furniturein the room, which is a "drawing-room suite" of black and gold, upholstered with magenta, but we have covered that up as well as wecan with pieces of old brocade from grandmamma's stored treasures. 

After the first greetings were over and Mrs. Gurrage had seatedherself in the other arm-chair, her knees pointing north and south, she began about the rheumatism stuff for the "j'ints. "

"I can see by yer hands ye're a great sufferer, " she said. 

"Alas! madam, one of the penalties of old age, " grandmamma replied, in her fine, thin voice. 

Then Mrs. Gurrage explained just how the mixture was to be rubbed in, and all about it. During this I had been trying to talk to Miss Hoad, but she was so ill at ease and so taken up with looking round theroom that we soon lapsed into silence. Presently I heard Mrs. Gurragesay--she also had been busy examining the room:

"Well, you have been good tenants, coverin' up the suite, but you'veno call to do it. You wouldn't be likely to soil it much, and I alwayssay when you let a house furnished, you can't expect it to continuewithout wear and tear; so don't, please, bother to cover it with thoseold things. Lor' bless me, it takes me back to see it! It was my firstsuite after I married Mr. Gurrage, and we had a pretty place on BalhamHill. We put it here because Augustus did not want anything the leastshabby up at The Hall, and I take it kind of you to have cared for itso. "

Grandmamma's face never changed; not the least twinkle came into hereye--she is wonderful. I could hardly keep from gurgling with laughterand was obliged to make quite an irritating rattle with the teaspoons. Grandmamma frowned at that. 

By the end of the visit we had been invited to view all the glories ofThe Hall. (The place is called Ledstone Park; The Hall, apparently, is Mrs. Gurrage's pet name for the house itself. ) We would not findanything old or shabby there, she assured us. 

When they had gone grandmamma said to me, in a voice that alwayscauses my knees to shake, "Why did you not make a _révérence_ to Mrs. Gurrage, may I ask?"

"Oh, grandmamma, " I said, "courtesy to that person! She would nothave understood in the least, and would only have thought it was thevillage 'bob' to a superior. "

"My child, "--grandmamma's voice can be terrible in its finedistinctness--"my teaching has been of little avail if you have notunderstood the point, that one has _not_ good manners for the effectthey produce--but for what is due to one's self. This person--who, Iadmit, should have entered by the back door and stayed in the kitchenwith Hephzibah--happened to be our guest and is a woman of years--andyet, because she displeased your senses you failed to remember thatyou yourself are a gentlewoman. What she thought or thinks is of notthe smallest importance in the world, but let me ask you in future toremember, at least, that you are my granddaughter. "

A big lump came in my throat. 

_I hate the Gurrages!_

The next day one of the old maids--a Miss Burton--arrived just aswe were having tea. She was full of excitement at the return of theowners of Ledstone, and gave us a quantity of information about themin spite of grandmamma's aloofness from all gossip. It appears, evenin the country in England, Mrs. Gurrage is considered quite an oddity, but every one knows and accepts her, because she is so charitable andgives hundreds to any scheme the great ladies start. 

She was the daughter of a small publican in one of the southerncounties, Miss Burton said, and married Mr. Gurrage, then a commercialtraveller in carpets. (How does one travel in carpets?) Anyway, whatever that is, he rose and became a partner, and finally amassed ahuge fortune, and when they were both quite old they got "Augustus. "He was "a puny, delicate boy, " to quote Miss Burton again, and was notsent to school--only to Cambridge later on. Perhaps that is what giveshim that look of his things fitting wrong, and his skin being puffyand flabby, as if he had never been knocked about by other boys. My friend of the knife, even with his coating of mud, looked quitedifferent. 

Oh! I wonder if I shall ever know any people of one's own sort thatone has not to be polite to against the grain because one happens tobe one's self a lady. Perhaps there are numbers of nice people in thisneighborhood, but they naturally don't trouble about us in our tinycottage, and so we see practically nobody. 

Just as Miss Burton was leaving Mr. Gurrage rode up. He tried to openthe gate with the end of his whip, but he could not, and would havehad to dismount only Miss Burton rushed forward to open it for him. Then he got down and held the bridle over his arm and walked up thelittle path. 

"Send some one to hold my horse, " he said to Hephzibah, who answeredhis ring at the door. I could hear, as the window was a little openand he has a loud voice. 

"There is no one to send, sir, " said Hephzibah, who, I am sure, feltannoyed. Two laborers happened to be passing in the road, and hegot one of them to hold his horse, and so came in at last. He _is_unattractive when you see him in a room; he seemed blustering and yetill at ease. But he did not thank us for keeping the suite clean! Hewas awfully friendly, and asked us to make use of his garden, and, infact, anything we wanted. I hardly spoke at all. 

"You _have_ made a snug little crib of it, " he said, in such apatronizing voice--how I dislike sentences like that; I don't knowwhether or no they are slang (grandmamma says I use slang myselfsometimes!), but "a snug little crib" does not please me. He took offhis glove when I gave him some tea, and he has thick, common hands, and he fidgeted and bounced up if I moved to take grandmamma her cup, and said each time, "Allow me, " and that is another sentence I do notlike. In fact, I think he is a horrid young man, and I wish he was notour landlord. He actually squeezed my hand when he said good-bye. Ihad no intention of doing more than to make a bow, but he thrust hishand out so that I could not help it. 

"_You'll_ find your way up to Ledstone, anyway, won't you?" he said, with a sort of affectionate look. 

Grandmamma found him insupportable, she told me when he was gone. Sheeven preferred the mother. 

The following week I was sent up to The Hall with Roy and grandmamma'scard to return the visit. They were at home, unfortunately, and I hadto leave my dear companion lying on the steps to wait for me. Such afearful house! An enormous stained-glass window in the hall, the shapeof a church window, only not with saints and angels in it; more likethe pattern of a kaleidoscope that one peeps into with one eye, andthen bunches of roses and silly daisies in some of the panes, which, I am sure, are unsuitable to a stained-glass window. There wereugly negro figures from Venice, holding plates, in the passage, andstuffed bears for lamps, and such a look of newness about everything!I was taken along to Mrs. Gurrage's "budwar, " as she called it. Thatwas a room to remember! It had a "suite" in it like the one at thecottage, only with Louis XV. Legs and Louis XVI. Backs, and a generalexpression of distortion, and all of the newest gilt-and-crimsonsatin brocade. And under a glass case in the corner was the top of awedding-cake and a bunch of orange blossoms. 

I was kept waiting about ten minutes, and then Mrs. Gurrage bustledin, fastening her cuff. I can't put down all she said, but it wasone continual praise of "Gussie" and his wealth and the jewels hehad given her, and how disappointed he would be not to see me. MissHoad poured out the tea and giggled twice. I think she must be whatHephzibah calls "wanting. " At last I got away. Roy barked withpleasure as we started homeward. 

We had not gone a hundred yards before we met Mr. Gurrage coming upthe drive. He insisted upon turning back and walking with me. He saidit was "beastly hard luck"--he has horrid phrases--his being out whenI came, and would I please not to walk so fast, as we should so soonarrive at the cottage, and he wanted to talk to me. I simply prancedon after that. I do not know why people should want to talk to onewhen one does not want to talk to them. I was not agreeable, but hedid all the speaking. He told me he belonged to the Yeomanry andthey were "jolly fellows" and were going to give a ball soon atTilchester--the county town nearest here--and that I must let hismother take me to it. It was to be a send-off to the detachment whichhad volunteered for South Africa. 

A ball! Oh! I should like to go to a ball. What could it feel like, Iwonder, to have on a white tulle dress and to dance all the evening. Would grandmamma ever let me? Oh! it made my heart beat. But suddenlya cold dash came--I could not go with a person like Mrs. Gurrage. Iwould rather stay at home than that. When we got to the gate I saidgood-bye and gave him two fingers, but he was not the least daunted, and, seizing all my hand, said:

"Now, don't send me away; I want to come in and see your grandmother. "

There was nothing left for me to do, and he followed me into the houseand into the drawing-room. 

Grandmamma was sitting as usual in her chair. She does not have tofluster in, buttoning her cuff, when people call. 

"Mr. Gurrage wishes to see you, grandmamma, " I said, as I kissed herhand, and then I left them to take off my hat and I did not come downagain until I heard the front door shut. 

"That is a terrible young man, Ambrosine, " grandmamma said, when I didreturn to the drawing-room. "How could you encourage him to walk backwith you?"

"Indeed, grandmamma, I did not wish him to come; he did not even askmy leave; he just walked beside me. "

"Well, well, " grandmamma said, and she raised my face in her hands. I was sitting on a low stool so as to get the last of the light formy embroidery. She pushed the hair back from my forehead--I wear itbrushed up like Ambrosine Eustasie de Calincourt--and she lookedand looked into my eyes. If possible there was something pained andwistful in her face. "My beautiful Ambrosine, " she said, and that wasall. I felt I was blushing all over my cheeks. "Beautiful Ambrosine. "Then it must be true if grandmamma said it. I had often thoughtso--perhaps--myself, but I was not sure if other people might think sotoo. 

 * * * * *

It is six weeks now since the Gurrages returned, and constantly, oh!but constantly has that young man come across my path. I think I growto dislike him more as time goes on. He is so persistent and thick ofideas, and he _always_ does things in the wrong place. I feel afraidto go for my walks, as he seems to be loitering about. I sneak outof the back door and choose the most secluded lanes, but it does notmatter; he somehow turns up. Certainly three times a week do I have toput up with his company in one way or another. It is a perfect insultto think of such a person as an admirer, and I annihilated Hephzibah, who had the impertinence to suggest such a thing to me when shewas brushing my hair a few days ago. The ball is coming off, butgrandmamma has not seemed very well lately. It is nothing much, justa bluish look round her mouth, but I fear perhaps she will not befit to go. When the invitation came--brought down by Mrs. Gurragein person--grandmamma said she never allowed me to go out withoutherself, but she would be very pleased to take me. I was perfectlythunderstruck when I heard her say it. She--grandmamma--going out atnight! It was so good of her, and when I thanked her afterwards, allshe said was, "I seldom do things without a reason, Ambrosine. "

Oh, the delight in getting my dress! We hired the fly from the Crownand Sceptre and Hephzibah drove with me into Tilchester with a list ofthings to get, written out by grandmamma--these were only the smalletceteras; the dress itself is to come from Paris! I was frightenedalmost at the dreadful expense, but grandmamma would hear nothing fromme. "My granddaughter does not go to her first ball arrayed like a_provinciale_, " she told me. I do not know what it is to be, she didnot consult me, but I feel all jumping with excitement when I thinkof it. Only four days more before the ball, and the box from Paris iscoming to-morrow. 

The Gurrages are to have a large party--some cousins and friends. Iam sure they will not be interesting. They asked us to dine and go onwith them, but grandmamma said that would be too fatiguing for her, and we are going straight from the cottage, I do not quite know whathas happened. A few days ago, after lunch, grandmamma had a kind offainting fit. It frightened me terribly, and the under-servant ran forthe doctor. She had revived when he came, and she sent me out of theroom at once, and saw him alone without even Hephzibah. He stayed avery long time, and when he came down he looked at me strangely andsaid:

"Your grandmother is all right now and you can go to her. I think shewishes to send a telegram, which I will take. "

He then asked to see Hephzibah, and I ran quickly to grandmamma. Shewas sitting perfectly upright as usual, and, except for the slightbluish look round her mouth, seemed quite herself. She made me gether the foreign telegram forms, and wrote a long telegram, thinkingbetween the words, but never altering one. She folded it and told meto get some money from Hephzibah and take it to the doctor. Her eyeslooked prouder than ever, but her hand shook a little. A vague feelingof fear came over me which has never left me since. Even when I amexcited thinking of my dress, I seem to feel some shadow in thebackground. 

Yesterday grandmamma received a telegram and told me we might expectthe Marquis de Rochermont by the usual train in the evening, and atsix he arrived. He greeted me with even extra courtesy and made mecompliment. I cannot understand it all--he has never before come soearly in the year (this is May). What can it mean? Grandmamma sentme out of the room directly, and we did not have dinner until eighto'clock. I could hear their voices from my room, and they seemedtalking very earnestly, and not so gayly as usual. 

At dinner the Marquis, for the first time, addressed his conversationto me. He prefers to speak in English--to show what a linguist heis, I suppose. He made me many compliments, and said how very like Iwas growing to my ancestress, Ambrosine Eustasie de Calincourt, andhe told me again the old story of the guillotine. Grandmamma seemedwatching me. 

"Ambrosine is a true daughter of the race, " she said. "I think I couldpromise you that under the same circumstances she would behave in thesame manner. "

How proud I felt!

III

How changed all the world can become in one short day! Now I know whythe Marquis came, and what all the mystery was about. This morningafter breakfast grandmamma sent for me into the drawing-room. TheMarquis was standing beside the fireplace, and they both looked rathergrave. 

"Sit down, my child. " said grandmamma; "we have something to say toyou. "

I sat down. 

"I said you were a true daughter of the race--therefore I shall expectyou to obey me without flinching. "

I felt a cold shiver down my back. What could it be?

"You are aware that I had a fainting fit a short time ago, " shecontinued. "I have long known that my heart was affected, but I hadhoped it would have lasted long enough for me to fulfil a scheme I hadfor a thoroughly suitable and happy arrangement of your destiny. Itwas a plan that would have taken time, and which I had hoped to putin the way of gradual accomplishment at this ball. However, we mustnot grumble at fate--it is not to be. The doctor tells me I cannotpossibly live more than a few weeks, therefore it follows thatsomething must be settled immediately to secure you a future. Youare not aware, as I have not considered it necessary to inform youhitherto of my affairs, that all we are living on is an annuity yourfather bought for me, before the catastrophe to his fortunes. That, you will understand, ceases with my life. At my death you will beabsolutely penniless, a beggar in the street. Even were you tosell these trifles"--and she pointed to the Sèvres cups and theminiatures--"the few pounds they would bring might keep you fromstarving for perhaps a month or two--after that--well, enough--thatquestion is impossible. I can obtain no news of your father. I haveheard nothing from or of him for two years. He may be dead--we cannotcount on him. In short, I have decided, after due consideration andconsultation with my old friend the Marquis, that you must marryAugustus Gurrage. It is my dying wish. "

My eyes fell from grandmamma's face and happened to light on thepicture of Ambrosine Eustasie de Calincourt. There she was, with therose in her dress, smiling at me out of the old paste frame. I was sostunned, all I could think of was to wonder if it was the same roseshe walked up the guillotine steps with. I did not hear grandmammaspeaking; for a minute there was a buzzing in my ears. 

_Marry Augustus Gurrage!_

"My child"--grandmamma's voice was rather sharper--"I am aware thatit is a _mésalliance_, a stain, a finish to our fine race, and if Icould take you on the journey I am going I would not suggest thisalternative to you; but one must have common-sense and be practical;and as you are young and must live, and cannot beg, this is the onlycertain and possible solution of the matter. The great honor you willdo him by marrying him removes all sense of obligation in receivingthe riches he will bestow on you--you yourself being without a _dot_. Child--why don't you answer?"

I got up and walked to the window. She had said I was a true daughterof the race. Would it be of the race to kill myself? No--there isnothing so vulgar as to be dramatic. Grandmamma has never erred. Shewould not ask this of me if there was any other way. 

I came back and sat down. 

"Very well, grandmamma, " I said. 

The blue mark round her lips seemed to fade a little and she smiled. 

The Marquis came forward and kissed my hand. 

"Remember--_chère enfant_, " he said, "marriage is a state requiredby society. It is not a pleasure, but it can--with creaturecomforts--become supportable, and it opens the door to freedom _etde tous les autres agréments de la vie pour une femme_. "

He kissed and patted my hand again. 

"Start with hate, passionate love, indifference, revolt, disgust--whatyou will--all husbands at the end of a year inspire the same feeling, one of complacent monotony--that is, if they are not altogetherbrutes--and from the description of madame, _ce jeune_ Gurrage is atleast _un brave garçon_. "

I am of a practical nature, and a thought struck me forcibly. Whencould Mr. Gurrage have made the _demande_?

"How did Mr. Gurrage ask for my hand?" I ventured to questiongrandmamma. 

She looked at the Marquis, and the Marquis looked back at her, andpolished his eye-glasses. 

At last grandmamma spoke. 

"That is not the custom here, Ambrosine, but from what I have observedhe will take the first opportunity of asking you himself. "

Here was something unpleasant to look forward to! It would be badenough to have to go through the usual period of formal _fiançailles_of the sort I have always been brought up to expect--but to endurebeing made love to by Augustus Gurrage! That was enough to daunt thestoutest heart. However, having agreed to obey grandmamma, I could notargue. I only waited for directions. There was a pause, not agreeableto any of us, and then grandmamma spoke. 

"You will go to this ball, my child. You will look beautiful, and youwill dance with this young man. You will not be so stiff as you havehitherto been, and during the evening he is sure to propose to you. You will then accept him, and bear his outburst of affection with whatgood grace you can summon up. I will save you from as much as I can, and I promise you your engagement shall be short. "

A sudden feeling of dizziness came over me. I have never been faintin my life, but all the room swam, and I felt I must scream, "No, no!I cannot do it!" Then my eyes fell again on grandmamma. The blue markhad returned, but she sat bolt upright. My nerves steadied. I, too, would be calm and of my race. 

"Go for a walk now, my child, " she said, "Take your dog and run; itwill be good for you. "

You may believe I courtesied quickly to them and left the room withoutmore ado. 

When I got out-of-doors and the fresh May air struck my face it seemedto revive me, and I forgot my ugly future and could think only ofgrandmamma--poor grandmamma, going away out of the world, and thesummer coming, and the blue sky, and the flowers. Going away to thegreat, vast beyond--and perhaps there she will meet Ambrosine Eustasiede Calincourt, and all the other ancestors, and Jâcques de Calincourt, the famous friend of Bayard, who died for his lady's glove; and shewill tell them that I also, the last of them, will try to remembertheir motto, "_Sans bruit_, " and accept my fate also "without noise. "

When I got back, my ball-dress had arrived. Hephzibah had unpackedit, and it was lying on my bed--such billows of pure white!--and itfitted! Well, it gave me pleasure, with all the uglies looming in thefuture, just to try it on. 

The Marquis stayed with us. He could not desert his old friend, hesaid, in her frail health, when she needed some one to cheer her. Isuspect the Marquis is as poor as we are, really, and that is whygrandmamma could not leave me to him. I am glad he is staying, and nowshe seems quite her old self again, and I cannot believe she is goingto die. However, whether or no, my destiny is fixed, and I shall haveto marry Augustus Gurrage. 

I did not let myself think of what was to happen at the ball. When onehas made up one's mind to go through something unpleasant, there is nouse suffering in advance by anticipation. I said to myself, "I willput the whole affair out of my head; there are yet two good days. "

Chance, however, arranged otherwise. This morning, the morning of theball, while I was dusting the drawing-room, I went to the window, which was wide open, to shake out my duster, and there, loitering bythe gate, was Mr. Gurrage--at nine o'clock! What could he be doing?He jumped back as if he had seen me in my nightgown. I suppose it wasbecause of my apron, and the big cambric cap I always wear to keep thedust from getting into my hair. A flash came to me--why not get itover now? He would probably not be so affectionate in broad daylightas at the ball. So I called out, "Good-morning!"

He came forward up the path and leaned on the window-sill, stilllooking dreadfully uncomfortable, hardly daring to glance at me. Thenhe said, nervously, "What are you playing with, up like that?"

"I am not playing, " I said, "I am dusting the china, and I wear thesethings to keep me clean. "

He _blushed_!

Then I realized all this embarrassment was because he thought I shouldfeel uncomfortable at being caught doing house-work! Not, as one mighthave imagined, because _he_ had been caught peeping into our garden. Oh, the odd ideas of the lower classes!

I took up a Sèvres cup and began to pull the silk duster gentlythrough the handle. 

"Er--can I help you?" he said. 

At that I burst out laughing. Those thick, common hands touchinggrandmamma's best china!

"No, no!" I said. 

He grew less self-conscious. 

"By Jove! how pretty you are in that cap!"

"Am I?"

"Yes, and you are laughing, and not snubbing a fellow so dreadfully asyou generally do. "

"No?"

"No--well, I came round because I couldn't sleep. I haven't been ableto sleep for three nights. I haven't seen you since Saturday, youknow. "

"No, I did not know. "

My heart began to beat in a sickening fashion. He leaned close to meover the sill. I put down the cup and took up the miniature. I thoughtif I looked at Ambrosine Eustasie that would give me courage. I wenton dusting it, and I was glad to see my hands did not shake. 

"Yes, you are so devilishly tantalizing--I beg your pardon, but youdon't chuck yourself at a fellow's head like the other girls. "

I felt I was "chucking myself at his head"--horrible phrase--at thatvery moment, but as speech is given us to conceal our thoughts, Isaid, "No, indeed!"

"Ambrosine--" (Oh, how his saying my name jarred and made me creep!)"Er--you know I am jolly fond of you. If you'll marry me you'll nothave to dust any more beastly old china, I promise you. "

I have never had a tooth out--fortunately, mine are all very whiteand sound--but I have always heard the agony goes on growing untilthe final wrench, and then all is over. I feel I know now what thesensation is. I could have screamed, but when he finished speaking Ifelt numb. I was incapable of answering. 

"I've generally been able to buy all I've wanted, " he went on, "but Inever wanted a wife before. " He laughed nervously. That was a strawfor me. 

"Do you want to buy me?" I said, "Because, if it is only a question ofthat, it perhaps could be managed. "

"Oh, I say--I never meant that!" he blustered, "Oh, you know I loveyou like anything, and I want you to love me. "

"That is just it, " I said, quite low. 

I felt too mean, I could not pretend I loved him. I must tell thetruth, and then, if he would not have me--me--Ambrosine de CalincourtAthelstan!--why, then, vulgarly dramatic or no, I should have to jumpinto the river to make things easy for grandmamma. 

"What is 'just it'?" he asked. 

"I do not love you. "

His face fell. 

"I kind of thought you didn't, " he faltered, the bluster gone;"but"--cheering up--"of course you will in time, if you will onlymarry me. "

"I don't think I ever shall, " I managed to whisper; "but if you liketo marry me on that understanding, you may. "

He climbed through the window and put his arms round me. 

"Darling!" he said, and kissed me deliberately. 

Oh, the horror of it! I shut my eyes, and in the emotion of the momentI bent the bow on the top of the frame of Ambrosine Eustasie. 

Then, dragging myself from his embrace and stuttering with rage, "Howdare you!" I gasped. "How dare you!"

He looked sulky and offended. 

"You said you would marry me--what is a fellow to understand?"

"You are to understand that I will not be mauled and--and kissedlike--like Hephzibah at the back door, " I said, with freezing dignity, my head in the air. 

"Hoity-toity!" (hideous expression!) "What airs you give yourself! Butyou look so deuced pretty when you are angry!" I did not melt, butstood on the defensive. 

He became supplicating again. 

"Ambrosine, I love you--don't be cross with me. I won't make youangry again until you are used to me. Ambrosine, say you forgive me. "He took my hand. His hands are horrid to touch--coarse and damp. Ishuddered involuntarily. 

He looked pained at that. A dark-red flush came over all his face. Hesquared his shoulders and got over the window-sill again. 

"You cold statue!" he said, spitefully. "I will leave you. "

"Go, " was all I said, and I did not move an inch. 

He stood looking at me for a few moments, then with one bound he wasin the room again and had seized me in his arms. 

"No, I sha'n't!" he exclaimed. "You have promised, and I don't carewhat you say or do. I will keep you to your word. "

Mercifully, at that moment Hephzibah opened the door, and in theconfusion her entrance caused him, he let me go. I simply flewfrom the room and up to my own; and there, I am ashamed to say, I cried--sat on the floor and cried like a gutter-child. Oh, ifgrandmamma could have seen me, how angry she would have been! I havenever been allowed to cry--a relaxation for the lower classes, shehas always told me. 

My face burned. All the bottles of Lubin in grandmamma's cupboardwould not wash off the stain of that kiss, I felt. I scrubbed my faceuntil it was crimson, and then I heard grandmamma's voice and had topull myself together. 

I have always said she had hawk's eyes; they see everything, even withthe blinds down in her room. When I went in she noticed my red lidsand asked the cause of them. 

"Mr. Gurrage has been here and has asked me to marry him, grandmamma, "I said. 

"At this hour in the morning! What does the young man mean?"

"He saw me dusting the Sèvres from the road and came in. "

Grandmamma kissed me--a thing of the greatest rareness. 

"My child, " she said, "try and remember to accept fate without noise. Now go and rest until breakfast, or you will not be pretty for yourball to-night. "

The Marquis's congratulations were different when we met in the _salleà manger_; he kissed my hand. How cool and fine his old, witheredfingers felt!

"You will be the most beautiful _débutante_ to-night, _ma chèreenfant_, " he said; "and all the _félicitations_ are for MonsieurGurrage. You are a noble girl--but such is life. My wife detestedme--_dans le temps_. But what will you?"

"You, at least, were a gentleman, Marquis, " I said. 

"There is that, to be sure, " he allowed. "But my wife preferred herdancing-master. One can never judge. "

At half-past two o'clock (they must have gobbled their lunch), Mrs. Gurrage, Augustus--yes, I must get accustomed to saying that odiousname--Augustus and Miss Hoad drove up in the barouche, and gotsolemnly out and came up to the door which Hephzibah held open forthem. They solemnly entered the sitting-room where we all were, andsolemnly shook hands. There is something dreadfully ill-behaved aboutme to-day. I could hardly prevent myself from screaming with laughter. 

"I've heard the joyous news, " Mrs. Gurrage said, "and I've come totake you to me heart, me dear. "

Upon which I was folded fondly against a mosaic brooch containing alock of hair of the late Mr. Gurrage. 

It says a great deal for the unassailable dignity of grandmamma thatshe did not share the same fate. She, however, escaped with onlynumerous hand-shakings. 

"He is, indeed, to be congratulated, _votre fils_, madame, " theMarquis said, on being presented. 

"And the young lady, too, me dear sir. A better husband than me boy'llmake there is not in England--though his old mother says it. "

Grandmamma behaved with the stiffest decorum. She suggested thatwe--the young girls--should walk in the garden, while she had someconversation with Mrs. Gurrage and Augustus. 

Miss Hoad and I left the room. Her name is Amelia. She looked like aturkey's egg, just that yellowish white with freckles. 

"I hope you will be good to Gussie, " she said, as we walked demurelyalong the path. "He is a dear fellow when you know him, though a bitmasterful. "

I bowed. 

"Gussie's awfully spoony on you, " she went on. "I said to aunt weeksago I knew what was up, " she giggled. 

I bowed again. 

"I say, he'll give you a bouquet for the ball to-night; we are goinginto Tilchester now to fetch it. "

I could not bow a third time, so I said:

"Is not a bouquet rather in the way of dancing? I have never been to aball yet. "

"Never been to a ball? My! Well I've never had a bouquet, so I can'tsay. If you have any one sweet on you I suppose they send them, but Ihave always been too busy with aunt to think about that. "

Poor Miss Hoad!

When they had gone--kept behind grandmamma's chair, and so onlyreceived a squeeze of the hand from my betrothed--grandmamma toldme she would be obliged to forego the pleasure of herself taking meto the ball to-night, but the Marquis would accompany me, and Mrs. Gurrage would chaperon me there. So, after all, I am going withMrs. Gurrage! Grandmamma also added that she had explained thecircumstances of her health to them, and that Augustus had suggestedthat the wedding should take place with the shortest delay possible. 

"I have told them your want of _dot_, " she said, "and I must say forthese _bourgeois_ they seemed to find that a matter of no importance. But they do not in the least realize the honor you are doing them. That must be for you as a private consolation. I have stipulated, as my time is limited, that I shall have you as much to myself aspossible during the month that must elapse before you can collect atrousseau. "

For that mercy, how grateful I felt to grandmamma!

IV

It is difficult to judge of a thing when your mind is prejudiced onany point. Balls may be delightful, but my first ball contained hourswhich I can only look back upon as a nightmare. 

The Marquis and I arrived not too early; Mrs. Gurrage and her bevy ofnieces and friends were already in the dressing-room. They seemed tobe plainish, buxom girls, several of the bony, _passé_ description. They looked at me with eyes of deep interest. My dress, as I saidbefore, was perfection. Mrs. Gurrage wore what she told me were the"family jewels. " Her short neck and undulating chest were coveredwith pearls, diamonds, sapphires, and rubies, all jumbled together, necklace after necklace. On top of her head, in front of an imitationlace cap, a park paling of diamonds sat up triumphantly; one almostsaw its reflection in her shining forehead below. In spite of thissplendor, my future mother-in-law had an unimportant, plebeianappearance, and as we walked down the corridor I wished I was not sotall, that I might hide behind her. 

Augustus was waiting among the other men of their party, with anenormous bouquet. Not one of those dainty posies with dropping spraysone sees in the Paris shops, but a good lump of flowers, arranged likea cauliflower, evidently the work of the Tilchester florist. How Ishould like to have thrown it at his head!

He gave me his arm, and in this fashion we entered the ballroom. Abride of the Saturday weddings in the Bois de Boulogne could not havelooked more foolish than I felt. A valse was being played; the roomwas full of light and color, all the officers of the Yeomanry in theirpretty uniforms (Augustus puffed with pride in his), and a general airof gayety and animation that would have made my pulse skip a monthago. We passed on to the other end of the room in this ridiculousprocession. I am quite as tall as Augustus, and I felt I was toweringover him, my head was so high in the air--not with exaltation, butwith a vague sense of defiance. 

There were several nice-looking people standing around when at last wearrived on the dais. Mrs. Gurrage greeted most of them gushingly andintroduced me. 

"My future daughter-in-law, Miss Athelstan. "

It may have been fancy, but I thought I caught flashes of surprisein their eyes. One lady--Lady Tilchester--the great magnate in theneighborhood, spoke to me. She had gracious, beautiful manners, andalthough she could not know anything about me or my history, thereseemed to be sympathy in her big, brown eyes. 

"This is your first ball Mrs. Gurrage tells me, " she said, kindly. "Ihope you will enjoy it. I must introduce some of my party to you. Ah, they are dancing now; I must find them presently. "

During this Augustus fidgeted. He kept touching my arm, half in anoutburst of affection and half to keep my attention from wanderingfrom him. He blustered politenesses to Lady Tilchester, who smiledvacantly while she was attending to something else. Then my _fiancé_suggested that we should dance. I agreed; it would be an opportunityto get rid of my cauliflower bouquet, which I flung viciously into achair, and off we started. 

Augustus dances vilely. When he was not bumping me against other_valseurs_ he was treading on my toes--a jig or a funeral-march mighthave been playing instead of a valse, for all the time of it matteredto him. 

"I never dance fast, I hate it, " he said, in the first pause; "don'tyou?"

"No! I like it--at least, I mean, I like to do whatever the music isdoing, " I answered, trying to keep my voice from showing the anger anddisgust I felt. 

"Darling!" was all he muttered, as he seized me round the waist again. 

"Oh! it makes me giddy, " I said, which was a lie I am ashamed of. "Letus stop. "

It was from Scylla to Charybdis, for I was led to one of thesitting-out places. So stupidly ignorant was I in the ways of ballsthat I did not realize that we should be practically alone, or I wouldhave remained glued to the ballroom. However, before I knew it we wereseated on a sofa behind a screen, in a subdued light. 

"Are you never going to give me a kiss, Ambrosine?" Augustus said, pleadingly. 

"Certainly not here, " I exclaimed. "How can you be so horrid?"

"You are a little vixen. "

"You may call me what you like; I do not care. But you shall not me apublic disgrace, " I retorted. 

"I think you are deucedly unkind to me, " he said, his sulky underlippouting. 

I controlled myself, I tried to remember grandmamma's last adviceto me, to be as agreeable as possible and not come to a quarrel. She said I must even submit to a certain amount of familiarity frommy betrothed. These were her words: "It is in the nature of men, mychild, to wish to demonstrate by outward marks of affection theirpossession and appreciation of their _fiancées_, and, unfortunately, the English customs permit such an amount of license in this directionthat I fear you must submit to a little, at least, with a good grace. "

I softened my voice. "I do not mean to be unkind, " I said, "but it isall so very sudden. You must give me time to accustom myself to theidea of having a _fiancé_-you see, I have never had one before, " and Itried to laugh. 

He was slightly mollified. 

"Well, at least let me hold your hand, " he said. 

I gave him a stiff, unsympathetic set of fingers, which he proceededto kiss through the glove. My attention was so taken up with trying tosee if any one was coming, to avoid the disgrace of being caught thus, that I had not even time to feel the nastiness of it. 

Augustus was murmuring sentences of love all the time. It must havesounded like this:

"Darling, what a dear little paw!"

"Oh! is not that a lady looking this way?"

"I should like to kiss your arm--"

"I am sure they can see in here by that looking-glass. "

"Why won't you let me kiss just that jolly little curl on your neck?"

"I am certain some one is coming--oh!--oh!"

These "ohs" were caused by Augustus having got so beside himself thathe actually bent down and kissed my shoulder!

A sudden sense of helplessness came over me. I felt crushed, as if Icould not fight any more, as if all was ended. 

"Good God! How white you are, darling! What is the matter?" I heardhis voice saying, as if in a dream. "Come, let me take you to havesome champagne. "

I bounded up at that--I should get out of this cage. In therefreshment-room some of the other Yeomen were standing with theirpartners. The dance was over and they came up, and Augustus introducedseveral of them, and, mercifully, I was soon engaged to dance fornumbers ahead. Neither their faces nor their conversation made theslightest impression on me. These were the "jolly fellows, " I suppose, but I felt grateful to them for taking up my time, and I talked asgayly as I could, and one or two of them danced nicely. Between eachdance there was Augustus waiting for me. But I soon found it was thecustom to stay with one's partner until the next dance began, and soafter that I hid in every possible place for the intervals, and thentook refuge with the Marquis. Presently there was a set of lancers. Augustus rushed up to me before I could hide. 

"I don't care who you are engaged to, " he said, savagely, "You mustdance this with me. I have been deuced patient these last four dances, but I won't stand being chucked like this any longer. "

"I am not engaged to any one, " I said, stiffly. 

He tucked my hand under his arm and dragged me to where a set wasforming, but on the way Lady Tilchester beckoned us to the middle. Wetook up our position at one of the sides of her set. Augustus was soflattered at this notice that he forgot to grumble further at my longabsence. 

Except ourselves, the rest of the sixteen people appeared to be all ofher party, and they looked so gay and seemed enjoying themselves; I amafraid grandmamma would have said they romped, rather. Our _vis-à-vis_were such a pretty girl and a very tall man, and when first headvanced to meet us I felt I had seen him before, and by the secondfigure I knew it was my friend of the knife. He is very good-lookingwithout the mud. Not the least expression of recognition came intohis face, but he laughed gayly at the fun of the thing. After the madwhirl of a _chassé_, instead of a ladies' chain I have been accustomedto, we came to an end. This dance was the first moment of the eveningI had enjoyed. All these people interested me; they seemed of anotherworld, a world where grandmamma and I could live happily if we might. They made quite a noise, and they danced badly, but there was nothingvulgar or _bourgeois_ about them. I felt like an animal who sees itsown kind again, after captivity; I wanted to break away and join them. Augustus, on the contrary, was extremely ill at ease. 

After that, one dance succeeded another--numbers of which I hadto spend with my _fiancé_, but, warned by my first experience, Ialways pretended a great thirst, or a desire to see the rooms, oran obligation to return to the Marquis, and so went to no moresitting-out places. I did not again see the tall man--he seemed tohave disappeared until a dance after supper, when we met him with LadyTilchester. 

"Ah! here you are, " she said. "I have been wanting to find you tointroduce--" At that moment an old gentleman guffawed loudly near us, and so I did not catch the name she said, but we bowed, and the tallman asked me if I would dance that one with him. 

Without the least hesitation I disengaged my hand from the arm ofAugustus (he likes to walk thus on every occasion), and said, "Yes. "

"Oh! I say, " said my _fiancé_, with the savage look in his face, "youwere going to dance with me. "

Then Lady Tilchester interfered--what a dear and kind soul she musthave! She said so sweetly, as if Augustus was a prince, "Won't youaccept me as a substitute, Mr. Gurrage?"

Augustus was overcome with pride, and relinquished me with the bestgrace. 

Now it was really bliss, dancing with this man; we swam along, swiftand smoothly. I could no longer see the walls; a maze of lights wasall my vision grasped--I felt bewildered--happy. We stopped a momentand he bent down and smiled at me. 

"You look as if you liked dancing, " he said. "Poor Lady Tilchester isbeing mauled by that bear in your place. "

I laughed. "I love dancing. "

"I seldom do this sort of thing, " he continued, "but you are abeautiful mover, " and we began again. 

When it was over we went and sat down in the very alcove of my firstdance with Augustus. I had no uneasiness this time!

I can't say what there was about my partner--a whimsical humor, aslight mocking sound in his voice, which pleased me; he took nothingseriously; everything he said was as light as a thistle-down; hereminded me of the wit of grandmamma and the Marquis; we got onbeautifully. 

"I seem to have seen you before, " he said, at last. "Have I met youin Paris? or am I only dreaming? because I know you so well in thegalleries at Versailles--you stepped down from those frames just tohonor us to-night, did you not?--and you will go back at cock-crow!"

"If I only could!"

He asked me if I was staying at Brackney or Henchhurst, and when Isaid no, that I lived only a few miles off, he seemed so surprised. 

His brown hair crimps nicely and is rather gray above the ears, but hedoes not look very old, perhaps not more than thirty-five or so, andnow that one can see both his eyes, one realizes that they are ratherattractive. A grayish, greeny-blue, with black edges, and such blackeyelashes! They are as clear as clear, and I am sure he is a cat andcan see in the dark. He laughed at some of the people, even the oneswho think themselves great, and he made me feel that he and I were thesame and on a plane by ourselves, which was delightful. All this timeI did not know his name, nor he mine. As he moved I saw a gold chainin the pocket of his white waistcoat, and just peeping out was thehilt of my little lost knife. I said nothing--I don't know why--itpleased me to see it there. He had been away in the smoking-room mostof the evening, he said, playing bridge. 

The Marquis is teaching it to grandmamma out of a book, but I do notcare for cards--and it seemed to me such a dull way to spend a ball. Itold him so. 

"I like this better, " he said, quite simply, "but then at most ballsone does not meet a dainty marquise out of the eighteenth century. Letme see, was there not a story of the great Dumas about a _demoiselled'honneur_ of Marie Antoinette--I don't remember her name or herhistory, but she became the Comtesse de Charny. Now I shall think ofyou by that name--the Comtesse de Charny. Tell me, Comtesse, does itnot shock your senses, our modern worship of that excellent, useful, comfortable fellow, the Golden Calf?"

"I don't know anything at all about him--who is he?" I said. 

"Oh, he is a Jew, or a Turk, or an African millionaire--any one witha hundred thousand a year. "

I thought of Augustus--"calf" seemed just the word for him. 

I laughed. 

"We have a beautiful example of one here to-night, " he continued;"indeed you were dancing with him--the bear who mauled LadyTilchester. How did you get to know such a person?"

My heart gave a bound. 

"I am engaged to Mr. Gurrage, " I said, in a half voice, but raising myhead. 

Oh, the surprise and--and _disgust_ in his eyes! Then, I don't knowwhat he saw in my face, I tried only to look calm and indifferent, butthe contempt went out of his manner, his eyes softened, and he put outhis hand and touched my fingers very gently. 

"Oh, you poor little white Comtesse!" he said. 

I ought to have been furious. Pity, as a rule, angers me so that itwould render me capable of being torn to pieces by lions withoutflinching; but I am ashamed--oh! so ashamed--to say that tears sprangup into my eyes--tears! Mercifully, grandmamma will never know. 

"Come, " I said, and we rose and walked down the corridor. There we metAugustus, with a face like thunder. He had been looking everywhere forme, he said. It appeared we had been sitting out for two dances. 

"You promised me this one more turn, " said the tall man, quiteunabashed; "they are playing a charming valse. "

"She is engaged to me, " growled Augustus. 

"No, I am not, " I said, smiling into his angry face; "I am quite myown mistress as regards whom I dance with. I will come back when it isfinished and you shall have the next one, " and I walked off with myfriend of the knife. 

Whether my _fiancé_ stood there and swore or not I do not know; I didnot look back. We did not speak a word until the dance was finished, my partner and I. Then he said:

"Thank you, little lady. We have, at all events, snatched some fewgood moments out of this evening. Now, I suppose, we must return toyour--bear. "

Augustus was standing by the buffet drinking champagne when we caughtsight of him. We stepped for a moment out of his view behind somepalms. 

"Good-bye, Comtesse. "

"Good-bye, " I said, "Will you tell me your name? I did not hear it--"

"My name! Oh, my name is Antony Thornhirst--why do you start?"

"I--did not start--good-bye--"

"No, you shall not go until you tell me why you started? And yourname, too; I do not know it either!"

"Ambrosine de Calincourt Athelstan. "

He knitted his level eyebrows as if trying to recall something, andabsently began to pull the knife out of his pocket. Augustus wascoming towards us. 

"Yes, " I said, "but it is too late. Good-bye. "

The look of indifference, the rather mocking smile, the _sans souci_, which are the chief characteristics of his face, altered. I left himpuzzled--moved. 

 * * * * *

Grandmamma was awake, propped up in bed, her hair still powdered andher lace night-cap on, when the Marquis and I got home. I leaned overthe rail and told her all about the ball. The Marquis sat in thearm-chair by the fire. 

"And where is your promised bouquet, my child?" she asked. 

I faltered. 

"Well, you see, grandmamma, I put it in a chair after the beginning, and Mrs. Gurrage sat on it, so I thought perhaps, as it was allmashed, I could leave it behind. "

Grandmamma laughed; she was pleased, I could see, that the evening hadgone off without a fiasco!

"I met Sir Antony Thornhirst, " I said. 

The blue mark appeared vividly and suddenly round grandmamma'smouth--she shut her eyes for a moment. I rushed to her. 

"Oh, dear grandmamma, " I said, "what can I do?"

She drank something out of a glass beside her, and then said, inrather a weak voice:

"You were saying you met your kinsman. And what was he like, Ambrosine?"

"Well, he was tall and very straight, and had small ears and--er--afairish mustache that was brushed up a little away from his lips, and--and cat's eyes, and--brown, crimpy hair, getting a little gray. "

"Yes, yes; but I mean what sort of a man?"

"Oh! a gentleman. "

"But of course. "

"Well, he laughed at everything and called me an eighteenth-centurycomtesse. "

"Did he know who you were?"

"No, not till the end, and then I do not think he realized that I wasa connection of his. "

"It does not matter, " said grandmamma, low to herself, "as it is toolate. "

"Yes, I told him it was too late. "

Grandmamma's voice sharpened. 

"You told him! What do you mean?" and she leaned forward a little. 

"I don't quite know what I did mean--those words just slipped out. "

She lay back on her pillows--poor grandmamma--as if she was exhausted. 

"Child, " she said, very low, "yes--never forget we have given ourword; whatever happens, any change is too late. "

A look of anguish came over her face. Oh, how it hurt me to see hersuffering!

"Dear grandmamma, " said, "do not think I mind. I have done and will doall you wish, and--and--as the Marquis said--it will not matter in ayear. "

The Marquis, I believe, had been dozing, but at the sound of his namehe looked up and spoke. 

"_Chère amie_, you can indeed be proud of _la belle débutante_to-night; she was by far the most beautiful at the ball--_sansexception_! Even the adorable Lady Tilchester had not her grand air. _Les demoiselles anglaises! Ce sont des fagotages inouïs pour la pluspart_, with their movements of the wooden horse and their skins of thegoddess! As for _le fiancé, il était assez retenu, il avait pourtantl'air maussade, mais il se consolait avec du champagne--il fera untrès brave mari_. "

V

The next day Augustus went to London by the early train. I fortunatelysaw the dog-cart coming, and rushed to tell Hephzibah to say I was notup if he stopped, which of course he did on his way to the station. Heleft a message for me. He would be back at half-past four, would comein to tea. The Marquis and I were to dine there in the evening, so Iam sure that would be time enough to have seen him. Grandmamma saidit was no doubt the engagement-ring he had gone to London to buy, andthat I _really must_ receive it with a good grace. 

At about four o'clock, while I was reading aloud the oration ofBossuet on the funeral of Madame d'Orléans, the tuff-tuff-tuff of amotorcar was heard, and it drew up at our gate and out got Sir AntonyThornhirst and Lady Tilchester. 

Although I could see them with the corner of my eye, and grandmammacould too, I should not have dared to have stopped my reading, and wasactually in the middle of a sentence when Hephzibah announced them. Idid not forget to make my _révérence_ this time, and grandmamma halfrose from her chair. Lady Tilchester has the most lovely manners. Ina few minutes we all felt perfectly happy together, and she had toldus how Sir Antony was so anxious to make grandmamma's acquaintance, having discovered by chance that he was a connection of hers, thatshe--Lady Tilchester--had slipped away from her guests and brought himover in her new motor, and she trusted grandmamma would forgive herunannounced descent upon us. She also said how she wished she hadheard before that we were in this neighborhood, that she might havemonths ago made our acquaintance, and could perhaps have been usefulto us. 

I shall always love her, her sweet voice and the beautiful diffidenceof her manner to grandmamma, as though she were receiving a greathonor by grandmamma's reception of her. So different to Mrs. Gurrage'spatronizing vulgarity! I could see grandmamma was delighted with her. 

Sir Antony talked to me. He asked me if I was tired, or something_banal_ like that; his voice was _distraite_. I answered him gayly, and then we changed seats, and he had a conversation with grandmamma. I do not know what they spoke about, as Lady Tilchester and I went tothe other end of the room, but his manner looked so gallant, and Iknew by grandmamma's face that she was saying the witty, sententiousthings that she does to the Marquis. A faint pink flush came into hercheeks which made her look such a very beautiful old lady. 

Lady Tilchester talked to me about the garden and the ball the nightbefore, and at last asked me when I was going to be married. 

It seemed to bring me back with a rush to earth from some enchantedworld which contained no Augustus. 

"I--don't know, " I faltered, and then, ashamed of my silly voice, said, firmly, "Grandmamma has not arranged the date yet--"

"I hope you will be very happy, " said Lady Tilchester, and she wouldnot look at me, which was kind of her. 

"Thank you, " I said. "Grandmamma is no longer young, and she will feelrelieved to know I have a home of my own. "

"It is delightful to think we shall have you for a neighbor. Harley isonly fifteen miles from here. I wonder if Mrs. Athelstan would let youcome and stay a few days with me?"

"Oh! I should _love_ to, " I said. 

However, grandmamma, when the subject was broached to her presently, firmly declined. 

"A month ago I should have accepted with much pleasure, " she said, "but circumstances and my health do not now permit me to part even fora short time with Ambrosine. "

She looked at Lady Tilchester and Lady Tilchester looked back at her, and although nothing more was said about the matter, I am sure theyunderstood each other. 

Sir Antony came and sat by me in the window-sill. I was wearing mychatelaine and he noticed it. 

"I am a blind idiot!" he exclaimed. "Of course you are the kind ladywho lent me the knife, which I broke, and then stole in a brutal way. "

"I saw you did not recognize me the other night. "

"I could only see out of one eye, you know, that day in the lane--thatmust be my excuse. "

I said nothing. 

"I am not going to give back the knife. "

"Then it is real stealing--and it spoils my chatelaine, " I said, holding up the empty chain. 

"I will give you another in its place, but I must keep this one. "

"That is silly--why?"

"It is very agreeable to do silly things sometimes--for instance, Ishould like--"

What he would have liked I never knew, for at that moment we bothcaught sight of Augustus getting out of his station brougham at ourgate. 

"Here comes your bear, " said Sir Antony, but he did not attempt tostir from his seat. We could see Augustus walk up the path and turnthe handle of the front door without ringing. In this impertinence Iam glad to say he was checked, as Hephzibah had fortunately let thebolt slip after showing in Lady Tilchester. He rang an angry peal. Grandmamma frowned. 

When Augustus finally got into the room his face was purple. He hadhardly self-control enough to greet Lady Tilchester with his usualobsequiousness. She talked charmingly to him for a few moments, andthen got up to go. 

Meanwhile Sir Antony had been conversing with me quite as if no_fiancé_ had entered the room. 

"You know we are cousins, " he said. 

"Very distant ones. "

"Why on earth did you not let me know when first you came to thisplace?"

"Grandmamma has never told me why she left you uninformed of ourarrival, " I laughed. "How could we have known it would interest you?'"

"But you--don't you ever do anything of your own accord?"

"I would like to sometimes. "

"It is monstrous to have kept you shut up here and then to--"

Augustus crossed the room. 

"Ambrosine, " he interrupted, rudely, "I shall come and fetch you thisevening for dinner, as you are too busy now to speak to me. "

"Very well, " I said. 

Sir Antony rose, and we made a general good-bye. 

There was something disturbed in his face--as if he had not said whathe meant to. A sickening anger and disgust with fate made my handcold. Oh!--if--Alas!

VI

To-morrow is my wedding-day--the 10th of June. There is my dressspread over the sofa, looking like a ghost in the dim light--I haveonly one candle on the dressing-table. It is pouring rain and thereare rumbles of thunder in the distance. Well, let it pour and hailand rage, and do what it pleases--I don't care! Just now a flash camenearer and seemed to catch the huge diamonds in my engagement-ring, which hangs loose on my finger now. I flung it into the little chinatray, where strings of pearls and a fender tiara are already reposingready for to-morrow. I shall blaze with jewels, and Augustus will beable to tell the guests how much they all cost. 

This month of my _fiançailles_ has been nothing agreeable to recall. Indeed, I should not have been able to go through with it only theblue mark has so often appeared round grandmamma's mouth, especiallywhen Augustus and I have had trifling differences of opinion. 

Long years ago, one summer we spent at Versailles when I was a child, I remember an incident. 

I was sitting reading aloud to grandmamma in the garden when from thetrees above there fell upon my neck, which was bare, a fat, hairycaterpillar. I recollect I gave a gurgling, nasty scream, and droppedthe book. 

Grandmamma was very angry. She explained to me that such noises wereextremely vulgar, and that if my flesh was so little under controlthat this should turn me sick, the sooner I got over such fancies thebetter. 

She made me pick the creature up and let it crawl over my arm. Atfirst I nearly felt mad with horror, but gradually custom deadened thesensation, and although it remained disagreeable, I could contemplateit without emotion. 

This memory has often proved useful to me during this last month. To-day, even, I was able to sit upon the sofa and allow Augustus tokiss me for quite ten minutes, without having to rush up and takesal-volatile, as I had to in the beginning. 

I have been through various trying ordeals. The tenants havepresented us with silver trays and other things, and we have listenedto speeches, and bowed sweetly, and numbers of hitherto distantacquaintances have showered presents upon us. My future mother-in-lawhas loaded me with advice, chiefly of a purely domestic kind, most ofit a guide as to how I had better please Augustus. 

It appears he likes thick toast in preference to thin, and thicksoups; also that a habit he has of taking Welsh rarebit and stout fora late supper when he sits up alone is not good for his digestion andis to be discouraged. She hopes I will see that he wears his secondthinnest Jäger vests in Paris, not _the_ thinnest--which ought to bekept for August warmth--as once before when there he caught a badcatarrh of the chest through this imprudence. 

Lady Tilchester is coming down from London in a special train onpurpose to grace our bridal ceremony. She has sent me the prettiestbrooch and such a nice letter. 

I hope she will be a consolation in the future. For me life must be athing of waking in the morning, and eating and drinking, and takingexercise, and going to bed again, and deadening all emotions, orelse I feel sure I shall get a dreadful disease I once read aboutin an American paper Hephzibah takes in. It is called "spontaneouscombustion, " and it said in the paper that a man caught it from havinggot into a compressed state of heat and rage for weeks, and it madehim burst up at last into flames like an exploding shell. 

Well, at all events, I have kept my word, and grandmamma is contentwith me. 

Miss Hoad--I shall have to call her Amelia now--is enchanted with thewhole entertainment. She is to be the only bridesmaid, and has chosenthe dress herself. It is coffee lace with a mustard-yellow sash. Itmill match her complexion. And Augustus is presenting her with ahuge bouquet, no doubt of the cauliflower shape, like my famous one, besides a diamond-and-ruby watch. 

I wonder if Sir Antony will be at the wedding--he was asked. 

The Marquis de Rochermont will give me away--grandmamma is too feeblenow to stand. The ceremony is to be in the village church here, andthe choir, composed of village youths unacquainted with a note ofmusic, is to meet us at the lich-gate and precede us up the aisle, singing an encouraging wedding-hymn, while school-children spreadforced white roses, provided by the Tilchester rose-growers. 

Augustus explained that patronizing local resources like this will allcome in useful when he stands for Parliament later on. 

Grandmamma stipulated that there should be no wedding feast, herhealth and our small house being sufficient excuse. It is a greatdisappointment to Mrs. Gurrage, I am sure, but we go away to Parisas soon as I can change my dress after the church ceremony. 

Think of it! This time to-morrow my name will be Gurrage! And Augustuswill have the right to--Merciful God! stop my heart from beatingin this sickening fashion, and let me remember the motto of myrace--"_Sans bruit_. "

Oh, grandmamma, if I could go on your journey with you! The first jumpout into the dark might be fearful, but afterwards it would be quietand still, and there would be no caterpillars!

That was a beautiful flash of lightning! The storm is comingnearer. Sparks flew from my diamond fender on the dressing-table. Well--well--I--I wish I had seen Sir Antony again. Just now he sentme a present. It is a knife for my chatelaine, the hilt studded withdiamonds, and there is a note which says that there is still time tocut the Gordian knot. 

What does it mean? I feel cold, as if I could not understand thingsto-night. 

The Marquis gave me some _conseils de mariage_ this afternoon. 

"Remain placid, " he said, "_fermez les yeux et pensez à autrui--aprèsvous aurez les agréments_. "

Grandmamma has not even kissed me. Her eyes resemble a hawk's still, but have the look of a tortured tiger as well sometimes. She has grownterribly feeble, and has twice had fainting-fits like the one thatchanged my destiny. I believe she is remaining alive simply bystrength of will and that she will die when all is over. 

She has given me the greatest treasure of her life, the miniature ofAmbrosine Eustasie. I have it here by my side for my very own. 

Yes, Ambrosine Eustasie, for me to-morrow there is also theguillotine; and perhaps I, too, could walk up the steps smiling ifI were allowed a rose to keep off the smell of the common people;Augustus's mother uses patchouli. 

BOOK II

I

No one can possibly imagine the unpleasantness of a honey-moon untilthey have tried it. It is no wonder one is told nothing at allabout it. Even to keep my word and obey grandmamma I could neverhave undertaken it if I had had an idea what it would be like. Really, girls' dreams are the silliest things in the world. I can'thelp staring at all the married people I see about. "You--poorwretches!--have gone through this, " I say to myself; and then I wonderand wonder that they can smile and look gay. I long to ask them whenthe calmness and indifference set in; how long I shall have to waitbefore I can really profit by grandmamma's lesson of the caterpillar. It was useful for the _fiançailles_, but it has not comforted me muchsince my wedding. 

In old-fashioned books, when the heroine comes to anything exciting, or when the situation is too difficult for the author to describe, there is always a row of stars. It seems to mean a jump, a break to befilled up as each person pleases. I feel I must leave this part of mylife marked with this row of stars. 

It is two weeks now since I wrote my name Ambrosine de CalincourtAthelstan for the last time, two weeks since I walked down therose-strewn guillotine steps on Augustus's arm, two weeks sincehe--Ah, no! I will never look back at that. Let these hideous twoweeks sink into the abyss of oblivion!

It hardly seems possible that in fifteen days one could so completelyalter one's views and notions of life. I cannot look at anything withthe same eyes. It is all very well for people to talk philosophy, butit is difficult to be philosophical when one's every sense is beingcontinually _froissé_. I feel sometimes that I could commit murder, and I do not know when I shall be able to take the Marquis's advice toremain placid and shut my eyes and try to get what good out of life Ican. 

Augustus as a husband is extremely unpleasant. I hate the way hishair is brushed--there always seems to be a lock sticking up in theback; I hate the way he ties his ties; I hate everything he says anddoes. I keep saying to myself when I hear him coming, "remember thecaterpillar, caterpillar, caterpillar. " And once in the beginning, when I was screwing up my eyes not to see, he got quite close before Iknew and he heard me saying it aloud. 

He bounced away, thinking I meant there was one crawling on him, andthen he got quite cross. 

"There are no caterpillars here, Ambrosine. How silly you are!" hesaid. 

He revels in being at once recognized as a bridegroom. He hasdreadfully familiar ways and catches hold of my arm in public, makingus both perfectly ridiculous. He has insisted upon buying me numbersof gorgeous garments for my outer covering, but when I ventured toorder some very fine other things he grumbled at the cost. 

"I don't mind your getting clothes that will show the money I've putinto them, " he explained, "but I'm bothered if I'll encourage uselessextravagance in this way. "

At the play he never understands more than a few words, but is alwaysasking me to explain what it means when there is anything interesting, so I miss most of it myself from having to talk, and some of theFrench plays are really very funny, I find, and have opened my eyesa great deal, and I--even I--could laugh if I were left in peace tolisten a little. 

Augustus is furiously angry, too, when the Frenchmen look at me. Inever thought I could even notice the gaze of strangers, but I amashamed to say that last night it quite pleased me. 

We were dining at Paillard's, and two really nice-looking Frenchmenhad the next table. They looked at me, and Augustus glared at them andfussed the waiters more than usual, and wanted to hurry me as muchas possible to get away; so I asked for other dishes and peaches andnectarines and things out of season. At last, when I had dawdled quitean extra half-hour, it came to an end, and the usual sums on themargin of the bill began--Augustus adds up every item to see no souhas been overcharged. At this point I looked up and caught one ofthe Frenchmen's eye. Of course I glanced away at once, but there wassuch a gleam of fun in his that I nearly smiled. Then, suddenly therecollection came upon me that this creature, this thing sittingopposite me, belonged to me. I have his name, he is my husband. I mustnot laugh with others at his odious ways. After that I was glad tocreep away. 

I am worried about grandmamma. She has not written; there only came asmall note from the Marquis. I am sure she must be very ill, if notalready dead. I cannot grieve; I almost feel as if I wished it so. Augustus as a grandson-in-law would sting her fine senses unbearably. He blusters continually, and his airs of proprietorship _envers moi_would irritate her; besides, she would always have the idea that sheis cheating me by remaining alive, that, after all, my marriage wasnot a necessity if she is still there to keep me. Oh, dear grandmamma!if I could save you a moment's sorrow you know I would. When I saidgood-bye to her she held me close and kissed me. "Ambrosine, " shesaid, "I shall have started upon my journey before you come back;you must not grieve or be sad. My last advice to you, my child, isto remember life is full of compensations, as you will find. Try tosee the bright and gay side of things, and, above all, do not bedramatic. "

She was always cheerful, grandmamma, but if I could just see her againto tell her I will, indeed I will, try to follow her advice! Hush!here is Augustus; I hear his clumsy footsteps. He has a telegram. 

Alas! alas! My fears are true--grandmamma died this morning. Oh! Icannot write, the tears make everything a mist. 

 * * * * *

It is late July and I am at Ledstone as its nominal mistress--I saynominal, for Augustus's mother reigns, as she always did. 

The sorrow of grandmamma's death, the feeling that nothing can matterin the world now, has kept me from caring or asserting myself in anyway. I feel numb. I seem to be a person listening from some gallerywhen they all speak around me, and that the Ambrosine who answersplacidly is an automaton who moves by clockwork. 

Shall I ever wake again? I sit night after night in my mother-in-law's"budwar, " the crimson-satin chairs staring at me, the wedding-cakeornament with its silver leaves glittering in the electric light; Isit there listening vaguely to her admonitions and endless prattleof Augustus's perfections. I have now heard every incident of hischildhood: what ailments he had, what medicines suited him best, whenhe cut all those superfluous teeth of his. 

One little trait appears to have been considered a sign of greatastuteness and infantine perception. His fond parents--the late Mr. Gurrage was alive then--gave him a new threepenny bit each week togive to a barrel-organ man who played before the house at Bournemouth. Augustus at the age of two invariably changed it on the stairs withthe butler for two pennies and two halfpennies, keeping one pennyhalfpenny for himself. 

"Me dear"--my mother-in-law always completes this story with thissentence--"Mr. Gurrage said to me, 'Mark my word, Mary Jane, the boywill get on!'"

In the class of my _belle famille_, mourning is fortunately a matterof such importance that the wearing of crêpe for grandmamma has beenallowed to be sufficient reason for abandoning the wedding rejoicings. 

Dear grandmamma! it would please you to know your death had done meeven this service. I am encouraged to grieve, especially in public. Mrs. Gurrage herself put on black, and her face beamed all over withenjoyable tears the first Sunday we rustled into the family pew stiffwith crêpe and hangings of woe. They gave grandmamma what Miss Hoad--Imean Amelia--called a "proper funeral. "

And so all is done--even the Marquis has gone back to France, and onlyRoy is left. 

There is something in his brown eyes of sympathy which I cannot bear;the lump keeps coming in my throat. Kind dog, you are my friend. 

Next week Lady Tilchester will have returned to Harley, and soonAugustus and I are to go and pay a three days' visit there. 

Once what joy this thought would have caused me--I was going to saywhen I was young!--I shall be twenty next October, but I feel as ifI must be at least fifty years old. 

Augustus is not a gay companion. He has a sulky temper; he is oftenoffended with me for no reason, and then a day or so afterwards willbe horribly affectionate, and give me a present to make up for it. Ican never get accustomed to his calling me Ambrosine--it always jars, as if one suddenly heard a shopman taking this liberty. It is equallyunpleasant as "little woman" or "dearie, " both of which besprinkle allhis sentences. He has not a mind that makes it possible to have anyconversation with him. He told me to-day that I was the stupidest coldstatue of a woman he had ever met, and then he shook me until I feltgiddy, and kissed me until I could not see. After a scene of this kindI feel too limp to move. I creep out into the garden and hide with Royin a clump of laurel bushes, where there is a neglected sun-dial thatwas once the centre of the old garden, and left there when the newshrubbery was planted; there is about six feet bare space around it, and no one ever comes there, so I am safe. 

Sometimes from my hiding-place I hear Augustus calling me, but I neveranswer, and yesterday I caught sight of him through the bushes bitinghis nails with annoyance; he could not think where I had disappearedto. It comforted me to sit there and make faces at him like agutter-child. 

I have never had the courage to go back to the cottage. It is just asit was, with all grandmamma's dear old things in it, waiting for me todecide where I will have them put. Hephzibah has married her grocer'sman, and lives there as caretaker. 

I suppose some day I shall have to go down and settle things, but Ifeel as if it would be desecration to bring the Sèvres and miniaturesand the Louis XV. _bergère_ here to hobnob with the new productionsfrom Tottenham Court Road. 

Augustus is having some rooms arranged for me, so that I, too, shallhave a "budwar" for myself. He has not consulted my taste; it is allto be a surprise. And an army of workmen are still in the house, andI have caught glimpses of brilliant, new, gilt chairs and terra-cottaand buffish brocade (I loathe those colors) being carried up. 

"Then I'll be able to have you more to myself in the evening, " saidAugustus. "The drawing-rooms are too big and the mater's budwar is toosmall, and you hate my den, so I hope this will please you. "

I said "Thank you, " without enthusiasm. I would prefer the companyof my mother-in-law or Amelia to being more alone with Augustus. Thecrimson-satin chairs are so uncomfortable that now he leaves us almostdirectly after dinner to lounge in his "den, " and I have to go thereand say good-night to him. The place smells of stale smoke, someparticularly strong, common tobacco he will have in a pipe. He getsinto a soiled, old, blue smoking-coat, and sits there reading thecomic papers, huddled in a deep arm-chair, a whiskey-and-soda mixedready by his side. He is generally half-asleep when I get there. I donot stay five minutes if I can help it; it is not agreeable, the smellof whiskey. 

There are so few books in the house. The first instalment of myhandsome "allowance" will soon be paid me, and then I will have booksof my own. I shall feel like a servant receiving the first month'swages in a new place--a miserable beginner of a servant who has neverbeen "out" before. I feel I have earned them, though--earned them withhard work. 

Just this last month numbers of people have been to call on me. Theyleft only cards at first, because of my "sad loss, " but we often areat home now when they come. 

My mother-in-law's visiting-list is a large one, and comprises thewhole of the "villa" people from Tilchester as well as the countyfamilies. With the former she is deliciously patronizingly friendly;they are all "me dears, " and they talk about their servants andailments and babies, mixed with the doings of Lady Tilchester--theyalways speak of her as the "Marchioness of Tilchester. " They are athome when we return the visits sometimes, too, and this kind of thinghappens: our gorgeous prune-and-scarlet footman condescendingly walksup their paths and thumps loudly at their well-cleaned brass knocker, and presses their electric bell. A jaunty lump of a parlor-maid ina fluster at the sight of so much grandeur says "At home" (some ofthem have "days"), and we are ushered into a narrow hall and so to adrawing-room. They seem always to be papered with buff-and-mustardpapers and to have "pongee" sofa-cushions with frills. There is oftentennis going on on the neat lawn beyond, and we see visions of large, pink-faced girls and callow youths taking exercise. The hostess gushesat us: "Dear Mrs. Gurrage, so good of you to come--and this is Mrs. Gussie?" (Yes, I am called Mrs. Gussie, Oh! grandmamma, do you hear?)We sit down. 

I have no intention of freezing people, but they are hideously illat ease with me, and say all kinds of foolishnesses from sheernervousness. 

The worst happened last week, when one particularly motherly, bloomingsolicitor's wife, after recounting to us in full detail the arrival ofher first grandchild, hoped Mrs. Gurrage would soon be in her happyposition!

Merciful Providence, I pray--that--never!

The county people are not so often at home, but when they are it ishardly more interesting. There do not seem to be many attractivepeople among them. They are stiff, and it is my mother-in-law who issometimes ill at ease, though she gushes and blusters as usual. Theconversation here is of societies, the Girls' Friendly Society, theCottage Hospital, the movements of the Church, the continuance of thewar, the fear the rest of the Tilchester Yeomanry will volunteer;and now and then the hostess warms up, if there is a question of asubscription, to her own pet hobby. Their houses are for the most parttasteless, too; they seem to live in a respectable _borné_ world ofdaily duties and sleep. Of the three really big houses within drivingdistance, one is shut up, one is inhabited for a month or two in theautumn, and the third is let to a successful oil merchant to whomAugustus and my mother-in-law have a great objection, but I can see nodifference between oil and carpets. I have seen the man, and he is aweazly looking little rat who drives good horses. 

I wonder what has become of my kinsman, Antony Thornhirst. He camewith Lady Tilchester to the wedding. I saw his strange eyes looking atme as I walked down the aisle on Augustus's arm. His face was the onlyone I realized in the crowd. We did not speak; indeed, he never wasnear me afterwards until I got into the carriage. I wonder if he willbe at Harley--I wonder!

Augustus wishes me to be "very smart" for this visit; he tells me Iam to take all my best clothes and "cut the others out. " It reallygrieves him that my garments should be black. He suggested to hismother that she had better lend me some of the "family jewels" toaugment my own large store, but fortunately Mrs. Gurrage is of atenacious disposition and likes to keep her own belongings to herself, so I shall be spared the experience of the park-paling tiara sittingupon my brow. Such things being unsuitable to be worn at dinner I fearwould have little influence upon Augustus; I am trembling even now atwhat I may be forced to glitter in. 

We are to drive over to Harley late in the afternoon. 

II

In spite of Augustus--in spite of everything--I suddenly feel as if Ihad become alive again here at Harley!

The whole place pleases me. It is an old Georgian house, with longwings stretching right and left, and from a large salon in the centrethe other reception-rooms open. 

Lady Tilchester is so kind, and makes one feel perfectly at home. Anumber of people were assembled upon the croquet lawn and in the greattent playing bridge when we arrived, and as no one seems to introduceany one it has taken me two whole days to find out people's names. Some of them, indeed, I have not grasped yet! It does seem a strangecustom. Either it is because every one in this set is supposed to beacquainted with the other, and strangers are things that do not count, or that meeting under one roof constitutes an introduction. I have notyet found out which it is. 

Anyway, it makes things dull at first. Augustus found it "deucedunpleasant, " he told me, as, instead of remaining quiet until he knewhis ground, he proceeded to commit a series of _bêtises_. 

The first afternoon I subsided into a low chair, and a gruff-lookingman handed me some tea, and patted and talked to a bob-tailedsheep-dog that was near. 

I don't know if he expected me to answer for the dog, and so makea conversation. He was disappointed, however, if so, as I remainedsilent. Presently I discovered he was our host. 

Lady Tilchester was busy being gushed at by Augustus. A little womanwith light hair came and sat down at the other side of me. She lookslike a young, fluffy chicken, and has a lisp and an infantile voice, and wears numbers of trinkets, and her name, "Babykins, " spelled in abrooch of diamonds. I should not like to be called "Babykins, " and Iwonder why one should want strangers to read one's name printed uponone's chest. 

Everything of hers is marked with that. Chain bracelets with"Babykins" in sapphires and diamonds. On her handkerchief, which sheplays with, "Babykins" again stares at you. Even the corner of herchemise, which shows through her transparent blouse, has "Babykins"embroidered on it. It is no wonder even the young men never call heranything else. 

You have the first impression that you are talking to a child, but afterwards you are surprised to find what a lot of grown-up, scandalous things she has said. 

She was very agreeable to me, and gave me to understand she was sointerested to make my acquaintance, as Lady Tilchester had told her somuch about me. 

"You come from Yorkshire, don't you?" she said; "and your husband hasthat wonderful breed of black pigs, hasn't he?"

"No, " I said, "we live only sixteen miles off. "

"Oh, of course! How stupid of me! You are quite another person, Isee, " and she laughed. "But the pig farmers are coming, and I am soanxious to meet them, as I have a perfect mania for piglets myself. Iwant to start a new sort, and I hoped you could tell me about them. "

"I am so sorry, " I said. "I wish I could help you, but I do notbelieve--except casually in the village--that I have ever seen a pig;they must be delightful companions. "

"Yes, indeed! I have large families of the fat white ones, and reallythe babies are most engaging, and the very image of my step-children. I always tell my husband it seems like eating Alice or Laura when heinsists upon having suckling-pig for luncheon. I suppose one wouldnot mind eating one's step-children, though--would one? What do youthink?"

Her great, blue eyes looked at me pathetically. 

I tried to consider seriously the problem of the consumption ofpossible step-children; it was too difficult for me. 

"I quite hoped to make it pay, " she continued--"keeping prize pigs, Imean; we are so frightfully poor. But I am away so much I fear it doesnot do very well. You play bridge, of course?"

This did not seem to have much to do with the pigs. 

"No, I do not play. "

"You don't play bridge? How on earth do you get through the day?"

"I really do not know. "

"Oh, you must learn at once. I can give you the address of a woman inLondon who goes out for five pounds an afternoon and who would teachyou in three or four lessons. It does seem funny, your not playing. "

I said "Yes. "

She did not appear to want many answers from me after this, butprattled on about people and the world in general, and before half anhour was over I was left with the impression that society is chieflycomposed of people living upon an agreeable and amusing groundsomewhere at the borderland of the divorce court. 

"So tiresome of the husbands!" she concluded. "Before the warthey used to be the most docile creatures; as long as they got apercentage, and the wives did not worry at their own little affairs, all went smoothly. Now, since going out there and fighting, they havecome back giving themselves great airs, and talking about woundedhonor, and ridiculous things of that sort that one reads of in earlyVictorian books. One does not know where it will end. "

She yawned a little after this, and Lord Tilchester shuffled up andsat down in the corner of the sofa near her. He has the manner of anawkward school-boy. 

"You are taking away every one's character, as usual, I suppose, Babykins, " he chuckled. "What will Mrs. Gurrage think of it all, Iwonder?"

Lady Tilchester interrupted further conversation by carrying me offto see the garden. She is the most fascinating personality I have yetmet. There is something like the sun's rays about her--you feel warmedand comforted when she is near. She looks so great and noble, andabove all common things, one cannot help wondering why she marriedLord Tilchester, who is quite ordinary. When she talks, every onelistens. Her voice is like golden bells, and she never says stupidthings that mean nothing. We had half an hour in the glorious garden, and she made me feel that life was a fair thing, and that even Ishould find bits to smile over. How great to have a nature like this, that one's very presence does good to other human beings!

"There are a lot of tiresome people here, I am afraid, " she said, atlast; "but I wanted you to come to the first party we had after ourreturn, so you must try and not be bored. You shall sit next Mr. Budgeto-night; he will be obliged to take in Lady Lambourne, but I will putyou on the other side. He will amuse you; he is the cleverest man Iknow. "

"Mr. Budge is a politician, is he not?" I asked. "I think I have heardhis name. "

"That is delightful, " she laughed, "Poor Mr. Budge! He--and, indeed, many of us in England--fancies there is no other name to be heard. Hehas a fault, though. He writes sentimental poetry which is completerubbish, and he prides himself upon it far more than upon his splendidpowers of oratory or wonderful organization capacities. "

"What a strange side for a great man to have!" I said. "Sentimentalpoetry--it seems so childish, does it not?"

"We all have our weaknesses, I suppose, " and she smiled. "We should bevery dull if we left nothing for our friends to criticise. "

"_Si nous n'avions point de défauts nous ne prendrions pas tant deplaisir à en remarquer dans les autres!_" I quoted. 

After a while we went back to the house. 

Augustus and I got down at half-past eight for dinner, as grandmammahad always told me that punctuality is a part of politeness, but onlyone or two men were standing by the huge wood-fire that burns all thetime in the open fireplace in the salon where we assembled. 

We did not know any of their names, and I suppose they did not knowours. We stared at one another, and they went on talking again, allabout the war. Augustus joined in. He is dreadfully uneasy in case therest of the Tilchester Yeomanry may volunteer at last to go out, andwas anxious to hear their views of the possibility. I sat down upon afat-pillowed sofa, one of those nice kind that puff out again slowlywhen you get up, and make you feel at rest any way you sit. 

A short man with a funny face came and sat beside me. 

"What a wonderful lady, to be so punctual!" he said. "You evidentlydon't know the house. We shall be lucky if we get dinner at nineo'clock. "

"Why did you come down, then, " I asked, "since you are acquainted withthe ways?"

"On the off chance, and because a bad habit of youth sticks to me, andI can't help being on time. "

"I am finding it absurd to have acquired habits in youth; they are allbeing upset, " I said. 

He had such a cheery face, in spite of being so ugly, it seemed quiteeasy to talk to him. We chatted lightly until some one called out:"Billy, do ring and ask if we can have a biscuit and a glass ofsherry, to keep us up until we get dinner. "

At that moment--it was nearly nine--more people strolled in, two womenwith their husbands, and several odd pairs--the last among the singlepeople quite the loveliest creature I have ever seen. She does notknow how to walk, her lips were almost magenta with some stuff onthem, but her eyes flashed round at every one, and there seemed to bea flutter among the men by the fireplace. 

Augustus dropped his jaw with admiration. She had on a bright purpledress and numbers of jewels. I feel sure he was saying to himself thatshe was a "stunner. " She did not look at all vulgar, however, onlywicked and attractive and delightful. 

"Darling Letitia, " she pleaded, to a stiff-looking old woman sittingbolt-upright under a lamp, "don't glare at me so. I am not the lastto-night; there are still Babykins and Margaret and several others tocome. "

"Oh, Lord, how hungry I am!" announced Mr. Budge, in a loud voice. Irecognized him now from his picture being so often in the papers. 

Then, from a door at the other end, in tripped Babykins, and closebehind her Lord Tilchester, and, last of all, when the clock hadstruck nine-fifteen, and even the funny-faced man next me hadexhausted all his conversation, the door at the north end of the salonopened, and serenely, like a lovely ship, our beautiful hostess sailedtowards us. 

"So sorry to be a little late, " she said, calmly. "Tilchester, as youhave, of course, told every one whom they are to take in, we may aswell start. "

Lord Tilchester had been sitting in the window-seat with Babykins, andhad completely forgotten this duty, I suppose. He got up guiltily andfumbled for a paper in his pocket. 

"Oh, don't let us wait for that, " said Mr. Budge, gruffly. "Come, LadyTilchester, I shall take you and lead the way, " and he gave her hisarm. 

She laughed and took it. 

"Very well, " she said. 

Every one scrambled for the people they wanted or knew best; and soit happened that I found myself standing staring at a pale young manwith weak blue eyes and a wonderfully well-tied tie, the last of thecompany. 

He held out his arm nervously, and we finally got to the dining-roomand found two seats. 

It was not until dinner was almost over that I found out he was theDuke of Myrlshire, and ought to have taken in Lady Tilchester. 

Augustus had placed himself next the purple lady, and his face grewa gray mauve with excitement at her gracious glances. 

My ducal partner was unattractive. He had a squeaky voice and anervous manner, but said some _entreprenant_ things in a way whichmade me understand he is accustomed to be listened to with patience, not to say pleasure. 

He told me he was grateful to Mr. Budge for his move, as he had beenadmiring me since the moment we arrived, and had determined, directlythe _mêlée_ began, to secure me if possible. 

"Er--you don't look like an Englishwoman, " he said, "and it is a nicechange. My eye is wearied with them; their outlines are all exactlyalike. "

He further informed me that Paris was the only place to live in, andthat the English as a nation were crude in their vices. 

"They make such a noise about everything here, " he added. "One cannotdo a thing that it is not put the wrong way up in the halfpennypapers. "

"The penalty of greatness, " I said, laughing. "They don't worry atall, for instance, about what I am doing. "

"Then they show extremely bad taste, " he said, with a look of frankadmiration. 

Before the women swept in a body from the room, I understood that hisobject in life would henceforth be to make me sensible of his greatworth and charm. All these masterful, forward sentiments sounded socomic, expressing themselves in his squeaky voice, I could not helpsmiling. He became radiant. He did not guess in the least what amusedme. 

Although the salon is immense, the ten or twelve women all crowdedaround the fireplace. It was a damp, chilly evening. 

They all seemed to know one another very well, and called each otherby their Christian names, so until Babykins again gave me someinformation I did not realize who people were. 

The purple lady is Lady Grenellen; her husband is at the war. She ismost attractive. She sat on a big sofa and smoked cigarettes rapidlyin a little amber holder. She must have got through at least three orfour of them before the men came in. 

Lady Tilchester and two other women were deep in South-African news, the rest talked about books and their clothes, but Babykins andLetitia exchanged views upon the scandal of the time. 

"In my day, " Letitia said, "it sometimes happened that men made loveand ran away with a woman because they found they liked her betterthan anything else in the world. It was a great sin, but their passionwas mixed with respect, and the elopement constituted the weddingceremony. Now you remain on at home until you are found out, and thenthe husband takes a gratuity and the matter is hushed up, and probablythe lover passes on to your best friend, an added feather in his cap. "

"Dear Lady Lambourne, how severe you are!" chirped Babykins. "And you really should not use that little word 'you. ' Of course, you don't mean any of us, but it sounds unkind and might bemisunderstood--especially, " she added, in a whisper to me, "as thatis the exact case of Cordelia Grenellen. "

Letitia (Lady Lambourne) has a distinct voice and decided opinions. She continued, as though no interruption had taken place:

"If the matter was only for love, too, I should still have nothingto say; but it is so often for a string of pearls, or some newcarriage-horses. "

"But, surely, it is more logical to have that reason than no reason atall, like the case of your poor cousin. I understood that was sheerfoolishness, and Lord Edam did not even pretend to care for her. "

Lady Lambourne looked daggers and remained speechless. "Whatscandalous things you are all saying, " laughed Lady Grenellen from hersofa. "Letitia, you are sitting there and being epigrammatic, justlike the people in those unreal society plays they had last year. Weare all perfectly contented and happy if you would let us alone. "

"One cannot but deplore the change, " said Lady Lambourne. 

"Personally, I am delighted with everything as it is, " cooed Babykins. "Life must be much pleasanter now than in your day, dear LadyLambourne; such a fuss and pretending, and such hypocrites you mustall have been--as, of course, human nature was the same then, andsince the beginning of time. We have always eaten and drank too richfood and wine in our class and have not had enough to do, so we can'thelp being as we are, can we?"

"Babykins, you silly darling, as if what we eat makes any difference!"said Lady Grenellen, puffing her cigarette-smoke into cloudy rings inthe neatest way. 

"Of course it does, Cordelia! Food makes all the difference, you know. I have kept those white pigs for four years and I know all about it. "

Babykins has the most pathetic blue eyes, and her childish voice isarresting. Lady Grenellen went into a fit of laughter. 

"You are perfectly mad about those horrid pigs!" she told her. 

Lady Lambourne interrupted again, in a dignified voice. "Human naturewas _not_ the same in my day--as you call it--Mrs. Parton-Mills" (thusshe discovered to me Babykins' name). "We lived much more simply, andenjoyed our pleasures and did our duties, and stayed at home more. "

"And I expect you were frightfully bored, Letitia, darling, " said LadyGrenellen, "and that is why you never stay at home now. "

It seemed to me quite wonderful how they could be so disrespectful tothis elderly lady, but she did not seem at all offended. 

"You are incorrigible, Cordelia, " was all she said, and she laughed. 

"You had no bridge, and it must have been exactly like it still iswhen I stay with Edward's relations in Scotland, " Babykins continued. "As we arrive there I feel 'goose-flesh' on my arms, with thestiffness and decorum of everything. We chat about the weather at tea, and no one ever says a word they really think; and we play idiotic, childish games of cards for love in the evening; and it is all feebleand wearisome, and the guests are always looking at the clock. "

Lady Tilchester came and joined us; it seemed a breath of freshsunlight illuminating the scene. 

"You appear all to be talking scandal, " she said. 

Imperceptibly the conversation changed, and we were discussing the warnews when the double doors of the dining-room opened. 

Augustus looked very flushed in the face and unattractive as he cametowards us, but Lady Grenellen moved her skirts and made room for himon her sofa. She smiled at him divinely, and was perfectly lovely tohim--as friendly and caressing as if he were an equal. It perfectlyastonished me. I could not talk and joke familiarly that with Augustusany more than if he were one of the footmen. And she is a viscountess, and must at least know what a gentleman is. 

Half the party moved off to play bridge in one of the drawing-rooms;the rest arranged themselves comfortably, two and two. Lady Tilchesterand Mr. Budge wandered into the music-room, and I, who had notstirred, found myself almost alone by the fireplace with the Duke. 

He proceeded to say a number of things to me that astonished megreatly. I should not have understood them all had I not been to thoseplays in Paris. 

I suppose he was beginning to make love to me--if this is what iscalled making love. His personality is not attractive, so it did nottouch me at all, and I am only able to look upon men now through eyeswhich see coarse brutes. Perhaps they may be really nice, some ofthem, but as I look at them one after another, the thought alwayscomes, how revolting could they appear in the eyes of their wives?This is not nice of me, and I am sure grandmamma would reprove me forit. 

III

Next day, Sunday, some of us went to church. Augustus insisted upon mygoing. He thought it would be a good opportunity of showing I was inLady Tilchester's company, although what it could have mattered to theHarley villagers I do not know. 

He himself stayed behind with Lady Grenellen, he said, to take her fora walk in the woods. 

After lunch every one seemed to play bridge but Lady Tilchester and Iand her politician and the weak-eyed Duke. We climbed the hill to theruins of the old castle and there sat until tea-time. 

"Isn't it a bore for me I shall have to marry an heiress?" the Dukesaid, pathetically. "Marriage is the most tiresome ennui at any time, but to be forced through sheer beggary to take some ugly woman youdon't like and don't want is cruel hard luck, is it not?"

"Yes, " I said, feelingly. 

He was melted by the sympathy in my voice. 

"You are a delicious woman; you seem to understand one directly. People have got into the way of thinking it is no hardship to have todo these things for the sake of one's title, but I can see you aresympathetic. "

"Yes, indeed!" I said. 

"Cordelia Grenellen is arranging it for me. I have not seen her yet--Imean the heiress. "

"If I were a man I think I should keep my freedom and--and--work, " Ifaltered. 

He looked at me, perfectly astonished. 

"But what can I do?" he asked. "Only go into the city, and that isquite played out now. I have no head for business, and it would seemto me to be rather mean just to trade upon my name to get unsuspectingpeople to take shares in concerns; whereas if I marry an heiress it isa square game--I at least give her some return for her money. "

"There is a great deal in what you say, " I agreed. 

"I told Cordelia--she is a cousin of mine, you know--I told her Iwould not have a very ugly one, and I should prefer that she should bea good, healthy brewer's daughter. Our family is over-well bred. Yousee, if you are going to sacrifice yourself to keep up your name, you may as well choose some one that will be of some ultimate use toit. Now we want a strain of thick red blood in our veins; ours is agreat deal too blue. We are becoming reedy shaped, and more or lessidiotic. "

He said all this quite gravely. He had evidently studied thesubject, and as I looked at him I felt he was perfectly right. If herepresented the type of his race, it had certainly grown effete. 

"I won't have an American, " he continued. "They are intellectualcompanions before marriage, and they are generally so agreeable youdon't notice how nervous and restless they are really, but I would notcontemplate one as a wife. I must have a solid English cow-woman. "

He stretched himself by my side and began pulling a bit of grass topieces. His hands look transparent, and he has the most beautifullyshaped filbert nails; his ears, on the contrary, are not perfect, butstick out like a monkey's. 

"You see, I should always live my own life, " he went on, lazily. "Iworship the beautiful. The pagans' highest expression of beauty whichmoved the world was in sculpture--cold and pure marble of divine form. That awakened their emotions; one reads they had a number of emotions. The Renaissance people, to take a medium time, expressed themselves bypainting glorious colors on flat canvas; they also had emotions. Thosetwo arts now are more or less dead. At any rate, they have ceased toinfluence masses of people. Our great expression is music. We aremoved by music. It gives us emotions _en bloc_--all of us--some bythe tune of 'Tommy Atkins, ' and others by Wagner. Well, all thesethree--sculpture, painting, and music--give me pleasure, but I shouldnot want my cow duchess to understand any of them. I should want herto have numbers of chubby children and to fulfil her social duties, and never have to go into a rest-cure, or have a longing forsympathy. "

I said a few "yeses" and "reallys" during this long speech, and hecontinued, like a mill grinding coffee:

"It don't do to over-breed. You are bound to turn out some _toqués_if not altogether idiotic, and then my sense of beauty is outraged bythe freaks that happen in our shapes--you should see my two sisters, the plainest women in England. Now you give me joy to look at. You arequite beautiful, you know. I never saw any one with a nose as straightand finely cut as yours. Why do you keep putting your parasol so thatI cannot see it?"

"One uses a parasol to keep off the sun, which is hot. Would you wishme to get a sunstroke to oblige you?" And I put down my parasol stilllower. 

"You are selfish!" in an aggrieved voice. 

"Of course. "

"And not the least ashamed of it!"

"Not the least. "

He moved his position deliberately so that he came to my other side, where the sun was not. 

"I learned a certain amount of manoeuvring in South Africa, where Iwent for a month or two, " he said. "I hope this side of your face willbe as pretty. People always have a better and a worse side. "

I laughed. It was too hot to circumvent him again, and his looking atme could not hurt me. 

"This is even prettier, " he said, presently. "Where did you hideyourself, that we none of us ever saw you before you married?"

"I lived rather near here for a little while. "

"Now you look sad again. I never watched any one's face so much. Yoursis not like other people's; you look like a cameo, you know. "

"Tell me about the people here, " I said. "They are all strangers tome. "

"But I would much rather talk about you. "

"That does not interest me; you said I was selfish, so you do what Iwish. "

"What can I tell you of them? They are like all companies--dull andamusing, mixed. They are a fair specimen of most people one meets inthe _monde où l'on s'amuse_. My cousin Lady Grenellen is perhaps themost interesting among them, as she had the most histories. "

"Histories?"

"Yes; her career has been one of riding for a series of falls, andescaping even a peck. "

"She is very lovely. "

"Oh yes, Cordelia is good-looking enough, " he said, as though therewas considerably more to add. 

I did not continue the subject further. We talked of books, the war, and various other things, and by-and-by our hostess called to us fromthe higher level of the old drawbridge where she was sitting. 

"We must be descending for some tea, " she said, and started on withher politician. 

When we got back, Augustus was swinging Lady Grenellen in a lovelyLouis XV. _balançoire_, fixed up between two elm-trees; she put onefoot out, and looked so lovely and radiant!

Augustus had the expression of one of those negro pages Thackeray drewin _The Virginians_--a mixture of pride and self-complacency--a heheld the red silk ropes. 

Tea was so merry! No one was witty like grandmamma and the Marquis, but every one was in a good temper and it was gay. 

The party was rather more punctual at dinner on Sunday night, and LadyTilchester had arranged, as she meant to the night before, that Ishould sit next her politician. Mr. Budge and Mrs. Gurrage--the nameswent well together!

I do not know anything about politics, but he is what I suppose mustbe a Radical, as he preaches home rule for Ireland, and equal rightsfor all mankind, and an apologetic tone to other nations, and ageneral dividing up of all one's _biens_. But they say he has asplendid house in Grosvenor Square, and a flat in Paris, and neverasks any but the smartest titled people to his big pheasant shoot inSuffolk. 

He was delightful at dinner, anyway, and made me laugh. His voice isclear, with just the faintest touch of Irish in it. And he sparredwith Lady Tilchester across me. 

She is the greatest _grande dame_ one could meet, and a Tory to thebackbone in politics, but her manner to the servants is not nearly sohaughty as Mr. Budge's. 

I do not like his hands; I cannot say why; they are neither big norill-shapen, but there is something fat and feminine about the fingers. I dare say, underneath, he could be like Augustus. 

Lady Tilchester is devoted to him, and he has the greatest admirationand respect for her. Their conversation is most interesting. 

Some of the other men are very nice, and several of them almost comeup to grandmamma's criterion of the perfect male--that he should "looklike a man and behave like a gentleman. "

The women are very smartly dressed all the time, but they do not showa great sense of the fitness of things. Only Lady Grenellen and LadyTilchester are always adorable and attractive in anything and in anyway. 

I believe they do not love one another very much, although they arequite friendly; one somehow can see it in their eyes. 

The Tilchester boy, who is thirteen, has just gone to Eton, but willsoon be home for the holidays; the little girl is at the sea. So Ihave not seen either of them. 

The whole house here is so beautifully done; there is no fuss, andeverything is exactly where one wants to find it. I shall be sorrywhen we leave. 

Just as we had begun luncheon to-day, Sir Antony Thornhirst came in, and, after a casual greeting to every one, sat down near me. 

He seems quite at home here, and as if he were accustomed to turningup unannounced in this way. 

I felt such a queer, quick beating in my heart. I suppose becauseamong all these strangers he was some one I knew before. 

"So you decided not to cut the Gordian knot, " he said, presently, asif we were continuing the discussion of some argument we had had amoment before. 

He bridged in an instant the great gulf since my wedding. This _sangfroid_ stupefied me. I found nothing to say. 

He continued:

"Do you know, I have heard since that to give any one a knife cutsfriendship, and brings bad luck and separation, and numbers ofdreadful things. So you and I are now declared enemies, I suppose. Shall we go and throw the little ill-omen in the lake after lunch?"

"No; I will not part with my knife; I find it very useful, " I said, in a _bête_ way. 

"Antony, " called out Lord Tilchester, "you have arrived in the nick oftime to save Babykins from turning into a hospital nurse. She thinksthe costume becoming, and threatens to leave us for the woundedheroes. Cannot you restrain her?"

"How?" asked Sir Antony, helping himself to some chicken curry. "Really excellent curry your chef makes, Tilchester. "

"Don't tell him about it, Reggie, " lisped Mrs. Parton-Mills. "Theunfeeling creature is only thinking of his food. "

"You seem to have all the qualities for an ideal convalescent nurse, "said Sir Antony, with an air of detaching himself with difficulty fromthe contemplation of the curry. 

"And those qualities are--?" asked Lord Tilchester. 

"Principally stimulating, " and he selected a special chutney from thevarious kinds a footman was handing. 

"What do you mean?" demanded Babykins, pouting. 

"Exactly what you do, " and he looked at her, smiling in a way I shouldhave said was insolent had it been I who was concerned. 

"But I want to go and help the poor dear fellows, and to cheer themand make their time pleasanter. "

"I said you would be an ideal convalescent nurse. But what wouldbecome of the pigs?"

"Oh, Edward could look after them. I think too little attention hasbeen paid to the poor boys who are getting well. I could read to themand write their letters home for them, " and she looked patheticallysympathetic. 

"Hubble-bubble, toil and trouble, " quoted Sir Antony. 

"Who for?" laughed Lord Tilchester, in his rough, gruff way. 

"The recipients of the letters, who would certainly receive them inthe wrong envelopes, " said Sir Antony. "I think, Tilchester, you hadbetter persuade Babykins to stay in England, for the sake of the peaceof many respectable and innocent families. "

"How wicked you are to me, " flashed Babykins. 

"Just what you deserve, " chuckled Lord Tilchester. 

"What tiresome nonsense these people talk, " said Sir Antony, calmly, to me. "You and I were in the middle of an interesting problemdiscussion, were we not? And now I have lost the thread. "

"It does not in the least matter, " I said. 

The Duke, who was on the other side of me, did not care to be leftout, and persistently talked to me for the rest of lunch. 

Sir Antony consumed his with the appreciation of a connoisseur. Itappeared to be the only thing which interested him. 

Babykins, from the other side, did her utmost to engage him in a warof wits, but he remained calm, with the air of a placid lion. 

When we got outside in the great tent he came up to me. 

"I am going to take you for a walk, " he said--"a nice, cool walk inthe woods. Will you get your parasol?"

The Duke was at that moment fetching it for me from the hall table, where I had left it. 

"I do not know what we shall do to-day, " I said, "I believe I am goingto play croquet. "

"Oh no, you are not. It is much too hot, and you must see the woods. They are historical, and--Here, take this parasol and let us start. "This last hurriedly, as the Duke was seen returning with mine. 

I cannot say why I allowed myself to be dragged off like this. Mynatural impulse has always been to do the opposite thing when orderedby any one but grandmamma. But here I found myself walking meeklybeside my kinsman down a yew-bordered path, holding a mauve silkparasol over my head which did not belong to me. 

We did not speak until we got quite to the end, where there is aquaint fountain, the centre of four _allées_ of clipped yews. 

My heart still continued to beat in a quick, tiresome manner. 

"You look changed, Comtesse, " Sir Antony said. "Your little face ispale. Do you remember the night we danced together? It was round androsy then. Is it a hundred years ago?"

There is a something in his voice which is alluring. The mocking soundgoes out of it now and then, and when it does one feels as if one mustlisten. Oh, but listen with both one's ears!

"Yes, it is a hundred years ago, " I said. 

"I was so sorry to hear of your grandmother's death, " he continued. "Iwanted to tell you how I felt for you, but I was away in Norway, andhave only just returned. Did you think I was unkind?"

"No, I never thought at all. Grandmamma was glad to die. I knew shecould not live, but it came suddenly at the end. "

"What a splendid personality! How I wish I had seen more of her! Igenerally manage to seize the occasion, but fate kept you and herbeyond my reach. Why did we not all meet this time last year?"

"Oh, do not talk of that!" I cried. I felt I could not bear tohear any more. "I am trying to forget, and to find life full ofcompensations. Grandmamma and the Marquis promised me that I should. "

He looked at me, stopped in the path, and bent down to a level with myface. His eyes seemed as if they could see right through my mind then, as on another occasion in our lives. 

"Dear little white Comtesse!" he said. Almost the same words. 

An emotion that is new to me happened. It was as if my heart beat inmy throat. 

"We are dawdling by this fountain, " I said. "Where are the woods?"

After that we were gay. He told me of many things. I seemed to see aclear picture of the world as he talked--a light and pleasant world, where no one was so foolish as to care for anything seriously. 

One felt a donkey, to worry or grieve when the sun shone and the birdssang!

How I enjoyed myself!

"Has Babykins chirped at you yet?" he asked, presently. "She is verydangerous when she chirps. "

"I do not like her, " I said. 

"Oh, you will presently. We all love Babykins. She acts as a sort ofmoral mosquito in a big party. She flies around stinging every one, and then we compare our bites and tear and scratch the irritatedplaces together. You will meet her everywhere--she is the only personTilchester takes a serious interest in. "

"Are you staying here, " I asked, "or did you only drive over?"

"I sent for my servant to bring my things, and I shall stay now I findyou. You always seem to forget we are cousins, and that people oughtto take an interest in their relations!"

"Tell me about your house--Dane Mount it is called, is it not?" Iasked, presently. We had been silent for a moment, walking down ashady path, great pine-trees on each side. 

"No, I won't tell you about it; you must come over there some day andstop with me for a night or so. You ought to see the home of yourancestors, you know. Promise me you will when I come back fromScotland!"

We had gone deep into the wood by now. It was quite dusky. The thicktrees met overhead, and only an occasional sunbeam penetrated through. 

I felt stupid. The words did not come so easily as when I am with theDuke. 

"How silent you are, Comtesse!"

"Is it not time to go back?" I said, stupidly. 

"No, not nearly time. I want you to tell me all about yourself--whereyou lived, and all that happened until you flashed into my life atthe Tilchester ball. See, we will sit down on this log of wood and bequite comfortable. "

We sat down. 

"Now begin, Comtesse: 'Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, Icame from--where?'"

"Do you really want to hear the family history?" I asked. 

"Yes. "

I told him an outline of things and how grandmamma and I had livedat the cottage, and of all her wise sayings, and about the Marquisand Roy and Hephzibah, and the simple things of my long-ago past. It seemed as if I was speaking of some other person, so changed hasall my outlook on life and things become since I went to Paris withAugustus. 

"And now we come to the day we met in the lane, " he said. "You werenot even engaged then, were you?"

"Oh no! Grandmamma had never had a fainting-fit; she would have foundthe idea too dreadful at that time. " I stopped suddenly, realizingwhat I had said. I could not tell him how and why I had marriedAugustus; he must think what he pleased. 

He evidently thought a good deal, by the look in his eyes. I wish--Iwish when he looks it did not make my heart beat so; it is foolish anduncomfortable. 

"What a fool I was not to come with the automobile the night beforeyour wedding and carry you off to Gretna Green, " he said, in a voicethat might have been mocking or serious, I could not tell which. 

"Tell me, Comtesse, if I had tapped at your window, would you havelooked out and come with me?"

"There was a bad thunder-storm, if I recollect. We should have gotwet, " I laughed, in a hollow way. He could not know how he was hurtingme; he should not see, at all events. 

"You would have been very dear to take to Gretna Green, " he continued. "I should have loved to watch your wise, sweet eyes changing allexpressions as morning dawned and you found yourself away from themall--away from Augustus. "

I did not answer. I drew hieroglyphics with the point of the mauveparasol in the soft moss beneath our feet. 

"Why don't you speak, Comtesse?"

"There is nothing to say--I am married--and you did not tap at thewindow--and let us go back to the house. "

IV

The last evening at Harley is one of the things I shall not want torecall. Augustus got drunk--yes, it is almost too dreadful to writeeven. I had not realized up to this that gentlemen (of course I do notmean that word literally, as applied to Augustus, but I mean peoplewith money and a respectable position)--I never realized that they gotdrunk. I thought it was only common men in the street. 

It struck me he was making a great noise at dinner, but as he wassitting on the same side of the table as I was I could not see. Whenthe men joined us afterwards it came upon me as a thunder-clap. Hisface was a deep heliotrope, and he walked unsteadily--not reallylurching about, but rather as if the furniture was in the way. 

One or two of the men seemed very much amused, especially when he wentand pushed himself into the sofa where Lady Grenellen was sitting andthrew his arm along the back behind her head. I felt frozen. I couldnot have risen from my chair for a few moments. She, however, did notseem to mind at all; she merely laughed continuously behind her fan, the men helping her to ridicule Augustus. 

For me it was an hour of deep humiliation. It required all myself-control to go on talking to Babykins as if nothing had happened. 

The Duke came over and joined us. He drew a low chair and sat down sothat I could not see the hilarious sofa-party. 

I have not the least idea what he said or what any of us said. Theguffaws of laughter in Augustus's thick voice was all I was consciousof. 

Sir Antony Thornhirst, who had stopped to speak to Lady Tilchesterby the billiard-room door, now came over to us. He stood by me for amoment, then crossed to Lady Grenellen. 

"They are wanting you to play bridge in the blue drawing-room, " hesaid. 

She rose quite reluctantly, still overcome with mirth. Augustus triedto get up, too, but stumbled back into the sofa. 

Then, with infinite tact, my kinsman attracted his attention, saidsome thrilling thing about the war, and, as Lady Grenellen moved offand Augustus made another ineffectual attempt to rise and follow her, Sir Antony sat down in her vacant place and for half an hour conversedwith my husband. Oh, I force myself to write the words "my husband. "It is to keep the hideous fact in remembrance, otherwise I might letmyself express aloud the loathing and contempt I feel for him. 

Sir Antony had never before taken the least notice of him beyond themost casual politeness, and now, from the scraps of conversation thatmy preternaturally sharpened ears could catch, he seemed to be tryinghis best to interest and retain Augustus beside him. Gradually thewhole company dispersed into the different drawing-rooms as usual, andI followed the rest to look at the bridge. 

As I was passing the sofa, where the two men were sitting, Augustusseized hold of my dress. 

"Don't look so damned haughty, little woman, " he hiccoughed. "Er--I'mall right--give me a kiss--"

"As I was going to tell you, " interrupted Sir Antony, "I heard for afact that the rest of the Tilchester Yeomanry that have escaped solong are going to volunteer to go out, after all. "

Augustus dropped my dress. His face got paler. This information seemedto sober him for an instant, and in that blessed interval I got awayand into the blue drawing-room. Lady Tilchester was not playingbridge, and she sat down in the window-seat beside me. It was a lovelynight, and the windows were wide open. 

She is the most delightful companion. I am beginning to know her alittle and to realize how much there is to know. 

To-night she was more than usually fascinating. It seemed as ifshe wished to make me forget everything but the pleasure in ourconversation. She has a vast knowledge of books, and has even read allthe French classics that grandmamma loved. We talked of many things, and, among them, gardens. She told me that I must make a new gardenat Ledstone, and I would find it an immense interest; and she spokeso kindly of Mrs. Gurrage, and said how charitable she was andgood-hearted, and then delicately, and as if it had no bearing uponthe Gurrage case, hinted that in these days money was the only thingneeded to make an agreeable society for one's self, and that in thefuture I must have plenty of amusement. 

Insensibly my heart became lightened. 

She talked to me of grandmamma, too, and drew me into telling herthings about our past. She was interested in grandmamma's strangebringing-up of me, so different, she said, to the English girls of thepresent day. 

"And is it that, I wonder, which has turned you into almost as great acynic as Antony Thornhirst? He is the greatest I know. "

"But can one be a cynic if one has so kind a heart?" I asked. 

She looked at me quickly with a strange look. 

"How have you discovered that so soon? Most people would not credithim with having any heart at all, " she said. "You know with all hisimmense prestige and popularity people are a little afraid of him. Ithink one would sum up the impression of Antony as a man who never inall his life has been, or will be, called 'Tony. '"

Her voice was retrospecting. 

"You have known him very long?" I questioned. 

"Ever since I married, fourteen years ago. I remember I saw himfirst at my wedding. He and Tilchester had, of course, been oldfriends, always living so near each other. We are exactly the sameage--thirty-four, both of us. Growing old, you see!" She laughedsoftly, then she continued:

"Antony was never like other men exactly. He is original, andextraordinarily well read--only casually one would never guess it. Hewastes his life rather, though. I wish he would go into Parliament. Hehas a habit of rushing off on long travels. Some years ago he went offsuddenly and was away for ages and ages--about five years, I think. Then he stayed at Dane Mount for a while, and then, when the war firstbegan, he went out there, and has only been home a year. "

"He never speaks of himself nor what he does, I notice. "

"No; that is just his charm. I should like you to see Dane Mount. Itis far nicer than this, and he has wonderful taste. It is the mostcomfortable house I know. He has delightful parties there when theshooting begins. "

"It would interest me to see it, because grandpapa came from there, " Isaid. 

"Of course, you are cousins, in a way. You don't know how interestedAntony was in you that night after the Tilchester Yeomanry ball. Hecame and sat in my sitting-room and talked to me about you, and thenit was he put two and two together and discovered you were related. Ihad heard that evening about your grandmother and you living at thecottage, and was able to give him some information. I don't think herealized when you met that you were connected, did he?"

"No, not at all. "

"A friend of mine and I were sitting by the fire, having saidgood-night to the rest of the party--do you remember what a cold Maynight it was? Antony came in and joined us. We all had admired youso. I recollect this is one of the things he said: 'I met aneighteenth-century marquise to-night. '"

"Yes, he called me that. "

"He is so very hard to please. The ordinary women, like Babykinsand Cordelia Grenellen, don't understand his subtle wit. They aregenerally in love with him, though. Cordelia was madly _éprise_ lastautumn; but he is as indifferent as possible, and does not troublehimself about any of them. He is reported to have said once that ithad taken him five years to degrade himself sufficiently to be ableto enjoy the society of modern women. He is a wonderful cynic!"

"The Duke gave me to understand that no man of the world was everwithout some affair, " I said. 

"Well, I suppose it is true more or less, but Antony is always theperson who holds the cheek, hardly even complacently--generally withperfect indifference. I have never known him, for years, put himselfout an inch for any woman. "

I don't know why, but this conversation interested me deeply. 

Just then some one came and joined us at the window, and LadyTilchester had to rise and talk with her other guests; but before shemoved off she put her hand on my arm and said, as if she had only thenremembered it:

"Oh, the housekeeper let me know just now that some soot had fallen inyour chimney. I do hope you won't mind sleeping in a tiny bedroom offmine, just for to-night. We were so afraid the smell would keep youawake. Your maid has moved your things. "

Dear and kind lady! I will never forget your goodness to me nor ceaseto love you. 

 * * * * *

It was pouring rain as we drove home next day. 

Augustus and I only met as we were ready to get into the carriage. Ihad breakfasted in my room. 

His face was the color of putty, and he had that look in his eyeswhich, I remember, long ago I used to say appeared as if he had nothad enough sleep. His expression was sulky and morose, and I wasthankful when at last we started. 

The guests were catching all sorts of trains. There were casualgood-byes. Lady Tilchester was not down, and no one occupiedthemselves much with any one. 

Lady Grenellen left just before us. She did not take the least noticeof me, but she talked in a caressing way to Augustus, and I heard himsay:

"Now, you won't forget! It is a bargain!" in the most _empressé_voice, as he pulled his head out of the carriage-window. 

For the first mile or two of our journey neither of us spoke. Augustuslit a cigarette and smoked in a nervous way, and kept opening andshutting the window. 

Then he swore at me. I will not say the words he used, but thesentence ended with a demand why I sat there looking like a "stuckpig. "

I told him quietly that if he spoke to me like that I would not replyat all. 

He got very angry and said he would have none of that nonsense; thatI seemed to forget that I was his wife, and that he could do as hepleased with me. 

"No, you cannot, " I said. "I will not be spoken to like that. "

"You'll be spoken to just as I jolly well please, " was his refinedreply. "Sitting there like a white wax doll, and giving yourself theairs of a duchess!"

I did not answer. 

"A deaf and dumb doll, too, " he said, with an oath. 

He then asked where I had been all night, and what I had meant bydaring to stay away from him. 

I remained perfectly silent, which, I fear, was infinitely provoking, but I could not stoop to bandy words with him. 

He began to bluster, and loaded me with every coarse abuse and atremendous justification of himself and his behavior of the nightbefore. I had not mentioned the subject or accused him of anything, but he assured me he had not been the least drunk and that myhaughtiness was enough to drive any man mad. 

When at least ten minutes of this torrent had spent itself a little, Isaid the whole subject was so disagreeable to me and discreditable tohim that he had better not talk of it and I would try and forget it. 

Grandmamma often told me how her grandfather, the husband of AmbrosineEustasie, had refused to fight with a man of low birth who hadinsulted him, but had sent one of his valets to throw the creatureinto the street, because in those days a gentleman only crossed swordswith his equals. I now understood his feelings. I could not quarrelwith Augustus, the whole situation was so impossible. 

I tried to tell myself that it did not in the least matter what hesaid and did. Then, as he continued abusing me, I repeated a bit ofBéranger to myself, and so grew unconscious, at last, of the wordshe was saying. 

Silence came eventually, and then, after a while, in quite a humblevoice, Augustus said:

"I say, little woman--er--you won't tell the mater--er--will you?"

Something touched me in his face--his common, unpleasant face. Thebluster was gone and there was a piteousness in it. I felt a slightlump in my throat. 

"Oh no; do not fear, " I said. 

Then he called me an angel and kissed me many times, and that was theworst of all. 

Oh! When the year is up, will the "monotonous complacency" have setin?

V

The days are flying by. October has almost come, and the damp and thefalling leaves. It will soon be time for Mrs. Gurrage to depart forBournemouth. 

Augustus is in a continual ferment, as the report that the rest ofthe Tilchester Yeomanry are going to volunteer for active service hascropped up frequently, and, while he likes the uniform and what heconsiders the prestige of belonging to such a corps, he has no ardorfor using his weapons against the Boers. 

I have tried very hard to take an interest in the matter, but thenumbness has returned. The oppression of the surroundings at Ledstonecramps my spirit. 

We have had several "parties"--batches of Gurrage relations--one ortwo really awful people. And some days ago I was bidden to write andinvite the guests for the first big partridge drive. 

"The mater will be gone to Bournemouth, " Augustus said, "and you'llhave to stand on your own legs. "

Matrimony has not cured him of his habit of using horrid phrases. 

He has often been very rude to me lately, and has taken to going morefrequently to town for the day, and stays away for a night or twosometimes. 

These seem to me as holidays, and I have never thought of asking himwhere he has been, although he comes back with an apologetic air of aguilty school-boy which ought to excite my jealousy, I feel sure. 

During these absences his mother looks uneasy and has once or twiceasked me if I know where he is. 

My books have come--quantities of books!--and I spend hours in myboudoir, never lifting my eyes from the pages to be distracted by theglaring, mustard-brocade walls around me. 

Mrs. Gurrage treats me with respect. There is a gradual but completechange in her manner to me, from what cause I do not know. I aminvariably polite to her and consider all her wishes, and she oftentells me she is very proud of me; but all trace of the familiarity sheexercised towards me in the beginning has disappeared. 

I am sorry for her, as she is deeply anxious, also, about thisquestion of the Yeomanry going to the war. 

Augustus is still her idol. 

Perhaps I am wicked to be so indifferent to them all. Perhaps it isnot enough just to submit and to have gentle manners. I ought todisplay interest; but I cannot--oh, I cannot. 

It is the very small things that jar upon me--their sordid views uponno matter what question--the importance they attach to trifles. 

Sometimes in the afternoons, after tea, Amelia reads the _FamilyHerald_ to Mrs. Gurrage. 

"A comfort it was to me in my young days, my dear, " she often tellsme. 

The delinquencies of the house-maids are discussed at dinner, thesmallest piece of gossip in Tilchester society. 

I cannot, try as I will, remember the people's different names, orwhom Miss Jones is engaged to, or whom Miss Brown. Quantities of thesepeople come out to tea, and those afternoons are difficult to bear. Ifeel very tired when evening comes, after having had to sit there andhear them talk. Their very phraseology is as of a different world. 

Augustus has not been drunk since the night at Harley, but often Ithink his eyes look as if he had had too much to drink, and it is onthese occasions he is rude to me. 

I believe in his heart he is very fond of me still, but his habit ofbullying and blustering often conceals it. 

He continually accuses me of being a cold statue, and regrets thathe has married a lump of ice. And when I ask him in what way I couldplease him better, he says I must love him. 

"I told you before we were married that I never should, but I wouldbe civil to you, " I said to him at last, exasperated beyond allendurance. "You agreed to the bargain, and I do my best to keep it. I never disobey you or cross you in a single thing. What have you tocomplain of?"

"Everything!" he said, in a fury, thumping the table so hard thata little Dresden-china figure fell down and broke into pieces onthe parquet floor. "Everything! Your great eyes are always sad. Younever take the least interest in anything about any of us. You aredocile--yes; and obedient--yes; and when I hold you in my arms I mightbe holding a stuffed doll for all the response you make. And when Ikiss you, you shudder!"

He walked up and down the room excitedly. 

"Oh, we have all noticed it!" he continued. "You are polite, andquiet, and--and--damned cold! Does Amelia ever let herself go beforeyou? Never! The mater herself feels it. You are as different to any ofus as if you came from Mars!"

"But you knew that always. You used to tell me that was what youliked about me, " I said, wearily. "I cannot change my nature any morethan--than Amelia can hers. "

"Why not, pray?"

"Have you never thought, " I said, driven at last to defend myself, "that there may be a side in the question for me also? I feel it asbadly as you do--your all being different to me. "

He stopped in his angry walk and looked at me. This idea was one ofcomplete newness to him. 

"Well, you'd better get out of it and change, for we sha'n't, " hesaid, at last. "You owe everything to me. You would have been in thegutter now if I had not had the generosity to marry you. "

I did not answer, but I suppose my eyes spoke, for he came close up tome and shook his fist in my face. 

"I'll break that proud spirit of yours--see if I don't!" heroared--"daring to look at me like that! What good are you to me, Ishould like to know? You do not have a child, and, of all things, Iwant an heir!"

A low growl came from the hearth-rug, where Roy had been lying, andthe dear dog rose and came to my side. I was afraid he would fly atAugustus, shaking his fist as if he was going to strike me. I put myhand on Roy's soft, black head and held his collar. 

In a moment Augustus turned round and rushed to the door. 

"I'll have that dog poisoned, " he said, as he fled from the room. 

I took up a volume of La Rochefoucauld, which was lying on the tablenear--grandmamma's copy--and I chanced to open it at this maxim:

"_On n'est jamais si heureux ni si malheureux qu'on s'imagine. _"

About happiness I do not know, but for the rest--well, I must tellmyself that to feel miserable is only foolish imagination, when I havea fire, and food, and a diamond necklace, and three yards of pearls, and a carriage with prune-and-scarlet servants, and a boudoir withmustard-silk walls, and--and numbers of other things. 

Roy put his nose into my hand. 

"Why did we not go on the long journey with grandmamma?" I saidto him. And then I remembered that it is ridiculous to be morbidand dramatic, and so I rang for my maid--a dour Scotchwoman whomI like--and told her to bring my out-door things here to theboudoir-fire. And soon Roy and I were a mile from the house. 

Lady Tilchester has been in Scotland almost ever since we spent ourfour days at Harley. When she comes back I shall ask her if she willcome over here. She may help me to awake. 

I am sure if any one could read what I have written, they would saythat poor Augustus had a great deal to put up with in having a wifelike me. Probably, from his point of view, I am thoroughly tiresomeand irritating. I do not exonerate myself. 

 * * * * *

After a brisk walk I felt better, and by lunch-time was able to comeback to the house and behave as usual. Augustus, I found, had gone toLondon. 

Mrs. Gurrage was uneasy. She dropped her h's once or twice, a suresign, with her, of perturbation and excitement. 

When the servants had left the room she said to Amelia:

"Quite time you were off with that basket for Mary Higginson. "

And Amelia took the hint meekly and got up from her seat, leaving apear unfinished. 

"Shut the door now, and don't stand loitering there!" my mother-in-lawfurther commanded. 

Amelia is a poor relation, and has often to put up with unfinishedmanners. 

"Look here, my dear, " Mrs. Gurrage said, when she felt sure we werealone, "I don't like it--and that's flat!"

"What do you not like?" I said, respectfully. 

"Gussie's goings-on! If you tried to coax him more he would not beforever rushin' up to London to see that viscountess of his. I wonderyou don't show no spark of jealousy. Law! I'd have scratched her eyesout had she interfered between me and Mr. Gurrage as she is doingbetween you two, even if she was a duchess!"

"I do not understand, " I said. 

"Well, you must have your eyes glued shut, " Mrs. Gurrage continued, emphatically. "That Lady Grenellen, I mean. A nice viscountess she is, lookin' after other people's husbands! Why, you can't never have evenglanced at the letters Gussie's got from her!"

"Oh, but _of course_ not!"

"Well, I have. My suspicions began to be aroused directly after yougot back from Harley. I caught sight of a coronet on the envelope"(Mrs. Gurrage pronounces it "envellup"), "and I said to myself, there's something queer in that, Gussie never sayin' a word--he aswould be so proud of a letter with a crown on it. "

"Yes, " I said. I felt sorry for her, she was so agitated. All theveneer knowledge of grammar had left her, and she spoke with a broad, natural accent. 

"The next one that came--and never a word from him made me sure--so, I thought to myself, I'll make certain, and I opened the bag myselfwith my key for a few mornings--I came down early before him onpurpose--and soon I sees another gold crown and great, sprawlywritin'. The kettle was singing. It took me no time to get the gumunstuck, and--well there! My dear, you never did! I blush to think ofit. The hussy! She was thankin' him for a diamond bracelet. Now I knowmy son Gussie well enough to know he did not give her that braceletfor nothing. Then she said as how he might come on Tuesday to see her, as she would be passin' through London and would be at her town-housefor the day. "

"But please don't tell me--it--oh, one ought never to read otherpeople's letters!" I exclaimed. 

Mrs. Gurrage flushed scarlet. 

"There! That's just you--your high and mighty sentiments! And why, pray, shouldn't a mother watch over her son, even if his wife has notthe spirit to?"

I did not answer. 

"There! It's been so from the first. I thought you'd have been proudand glad to marry my Gussie--you, as poor as a rat! I don't setno store by our wealth--the Lord's doin', and Mr. Gurrage takin'advantage of the opportunities, his partener dyin' youngish--but Iliked the idea of your bein' high-born, and I was frightened aboutGussie's lookin' at that girl at the Ledstone Arms. And you seemedgood and quiet and well-brought-up. And Gussie just doted on you. Youought to have jumped at him, but you and your grandma were that proud!All the time you were engaged you were as haughty as if you werehonorin' _him_, instead of his honorin' you! Since you've been mydaughter-in-law, I have no cause to complain of you, only it's thefeelin', and your settin' quiet and far away, when a flesh-and-bloodwoman would have clawed that viscountess's hair! Gussie'd never havebeen after her if you'd show'd a little more affection. You're not abad-lookin' woman yourself if you wasn't so white. "

"Do let us understand each other, " I said. "I told your son from thefirst that I did not care for him. My grandmother was old and dying. We had no relations to depend upon. I should have been left, asAugustus was unchivalrous enough to tell me this morning, 'in thegutter. ' These reasons seemed strong enough to my grandmother to makeher deem it expedient that I should marry some one. There was no timeto choose--I had never dreamed in my life of disobeying her. She toldme to marry Augustus. This situation was fully explained to him, andhe understood and kept us to the bargain. I have endeavored in everyway to fulfil my side, but in it I never contemplated a supervisionof his letters. "

"Oh, indeed! And why couldn't you love him, pray? A finer young mandoesn't live for miles round, " Mrs. Gurrage said, with great offence. The other questions seemed in abeyance for the moment. 

"We cannot force our likes and dislikes, " I said. 

"Well, you are married now, and part and parcel of him, and a wife'sduty is to keep her own husband from hussies--viscountesses or no theycan call themselves. "

"What do you wish me to do?"

"Why, tax him with it when he comes home to-night. Let him see youknow and won't stand it. It's all your fault for not lovin' him, andyour duty now's to keep him in the path of virtue. "

"May I say you informed me of his behavior? Because how otherwisecould I account for my knowledge? He would know I should never havethought of opening or looking at his letters myself. "

Mrs. Gurrage was not the least ashamed of having done this, to me, most dishonorable thing. She could not see the matter from my pointof view. 

I remember grandmamma once told me that servants and people of thelower classes always think it is their right to read any one's lettersthey come across, so I suppose my mother-in-law cannot help herstandard of honor being different to ours. 

"You mustn't make mischief between my boy and me, " she said. "You mustinvent something--think of some other way. "

"But I cannot tell a lie about it. I shall say you have receiveddisquieting information; I will not say how. Otherwise, I will notspeak to him at all about it. "

Mrs. Gurrage burst into tears. 

"There--it's breakin' my heart!" she sobbed, "and you don't care abrass farthing!"

"Of course I care, " I said, feebly. 

 * * * * *

Oh, grandmamma! For once you must have been wrong, and it would havebeen better for me to have worked in the gutter! I wonder if you feltthat at the end. But we had given our word. Augustus held us to it, and no Calincourt had ever broken his word. 

By the afternoon post came a letter from Sir Antony Thornhirst. He hadreturned from Scotland, he said, and hoped we would soon pay him ourpromised visit. 

It was a short note, dry and to the point, with nothing in itunnecessary in the way of words. I do not know why I read it overseveral times. His writing gave me comfort. I felt as if there wassome one human who would understand things. 

 * * * * *

When I was dressing for dinner, Augustus returned. He shuffled intothe room without knocking, while McGreggor was brushing my hair. 

He seemed to have forgotten the scene of the morning, and was in amost amiable mood. He had brought me a new muff chain, in wonderfullygood taste; he could never have chosen it himself. It is so difficultto thank people for things when you would like to throw them in thefire rather than receive them. 

However, I did my best. 

McGreggor felt it her duty to leave the room. Would this be a goodopportunity to get over what I had promised my mother-in-law to sayto Augustus? Oh, it was an ugly moment. 

I told him, as simply as I could, that his mother was worried abouthim, fearing he had contracted a dangerous friendship with LadyGrenellen, and that I hoped he would make her mind at ease upon thesubject. 

He came over to me and seized my wrists. There was an air of consciouspride in his face. He was not displeased that this gallantry could beattributed to him. 

"It's all your fault if I do look at any one else, " he blustered;"and, anyway, a man of the world must have a little amusement, withsuch a dull, stuck-up wife at home as I have got. Cordelia is a darnedsight higher rank than you are, and yet she does not give herself yourmighty airs. "

"Oh, do not think it matters to me, " I said, as calmly as I could, "only it worries your mother, who spoke to me about it. "

"If I thought you cared it would be different, " Augustus said, delighted to grasp at this excuse. 

"No, it would be just the same, only in that case it would grieve me, and I should suffer, whereas now--" I left the sentence unfinished, Ido not know why. 

"Now you don't care what I do or whether I am dead or alive--that iswhat you mean, I see, " he said, dropping my wrists and walking towardsthe door. 

"Augustus!" I called to him, and he came back. "Listen. You swore atme this morning. You were very rude to me, and you spend the day inLondon with another woman, and return bringing me a present. I havedone my best not to resent these insults, but I warn you I will notstand any more. "

He became cringing. 

"Who's been telling the mater these stories about me?" he asked. "There's not a word of truth in them. It is a queer thing if a manmay not speak to a woman without people making mischief about it!"

"That is between you and your mother. All I would like to know isthat you will not swear at me in future and will treat me with morecivility. "

I felt I could not continue the subject of his "friendship" with LadyGrenellen. The whole matter seemed so low. 

"Well, you are a brick, after all, not to kick up a row, " Augustussaid. "So let us kiss and be friends again, and I am sorry if I wasnasty this morning. There! little woman, you need not be jealous, " andhe patted my hand, and then began twisting the long waves of my hairin and out of his thick fingers. 

"What is a fellow to do when a woman falls in love with him?" hecontinued, with self-conscious complacency. "He can't be a bear toher, even though he is married, eh?"

"No, it is only to his wife he can be the bear, " I said. 

Of course, I ought to have been very jealous and angry, I am sure, butI could not feel the least emotion. I only longed to wrench my hairout of his hands, and to tell him that he might speak to and make loveto whom he pleased so long as he left me alone and in peace. 

He then became more affectionate, telling me I was the most beautifulwoman he had ever seen, and that I had "stunning hair" and variousother charms, and if only I would not be a lump of ice he would neverleave me!

I could not say, as I felt, "But that is the one thing I should likeyou to do, " so I said nothing, and, as soon as I could get near thebell unperceived, rang for McGreggor again, and put an end to thescene. 

VI

Next morning at breakfast Augustus said: "As Farrington hasrefused for the 15th, you had better write and ask that fellowThornhirst--your cousin. They tell me he is a capital shot, and Iwant my birds killed this year. "

The year before, apparently, the party had been composed ofindifferent marksmen, and the head keeper had spoken rathersarcastically upon the subject. 

Augustus, when not bullying them, stands in great awe of his servants. 

"I am afraid, with only this short notice, there is little chance ofSir Antony being disengaged, " I remarked. 

I somehow felt as if I did not want him to come to Ledstone. He wouldbe so ridiculously out of place here. 

"A keen shot would throw over any invitation he had had previouslyfor such a chance as my two best days, " Augustus replied, pompously, helping himself to a second kidney and smearing it with mustard. "Youjust write this morning, and ask him to wire reply. "

"Very well, " I said, reluctantly. He would certainly be engaged thoughI need not fear, "I had a note from yesterday, saying he had returnedfrom Scotland, and asking us to go over soon and pay our promisedvisit to dine and sleep. "

"There! I'll bet he was fishing for an invitation to this shoot, "said Augustus, triumphantly. And, not content with the mustard he hadalready plastered the kidney with, he shook pepper over it, heaping itup upon his knife first and agitating that implement with his fork tomake the pepper fall evenly. I do not know why these details of theway he eats should irritate me so. 

"Now, mind you catch the early post, " he continued, "and tell him whothe party are. "

At fifteen minutes to eleven I found myself still staring irresolutelyat the sheet of note-paper lying before me on the writing-table in myboudoir. It had the date written, and "Dear Sir Antony. " The rest wasa blank. 

The little, brand-new Dresden clock on the mantel-piece chimed thethree-quarters. The post leaves at eleven. I took up the pen anddashed at it. 

"Eight guns are going to shoot partridges here on the 15th of October, and Augustus will be very pleased if you will make the ninth, "I wrote. Could anything be more _bête_? "Please wire reply, andbelieve me, yours sincerely--" I hesitated again. Must I sign myself"Ambrosine de Calincourt Gurrage"? The strangest reluctance came overme. 

It has always been a disagreeable moment when I have had to write"Gurrage, " but never so disagreeable as now. 

"A. De C. G. , " I began. No, initials would not do--"urrage, " I added, and the distance between the "G" and the "u" showed, I am afraid, thatthere was something unnatural about my signature. 

"No one would accept such a stupid invitation as that, " I said tomyself, hopefully, as I folded the sheet and put it in the envelope. But by ten o'clock next day a telegram was handed to me:

 Very pleased to come on 15th. Many thanks. --ANTONY THORNHIRST. 

So he will see the stuffed bears, and the negro figures, and theTottenham Court Road Louis XV. Drawing-rooms, after all, whether Iwish it or no!

_Whether I wish it or no!_

Augustus was delighted--not so much at the acceptance of this guest, but his own wonderful prehension. 

"There! I told you he'd jump at it, " he said. 

 * * * * *

For several days after this a good deal of my time was taken up bymy mother-in-law's advice and directions as to how I should rule thehouse during her absence at Bournemouth, where she would be until shereturned to spend Christmas with us. 

It was a great wrench, one could see, to Mrs. Gurrage to relinquisheven for this short two months her rule at Ledstone. But she was in sogood a temper with me for what she considered I had done in bringingAugustus back "to the path of duty" (we have heard no more of LadyGrenellen) that she bestowed upon me her sceptre with a good grace. 

At last the day came when Amelia, carrying the parrot, followed herinto the brougham. 

Augustus had preceded them to the station, and with infinite fuss ofmaids and footman, and stray card-board boxes, and final directions, the whole party disappeared down the drive, and I was left standingon the red-granite steps. 

A sudden sense of exaltation came over me. 

I was alone for the first time since my wedding!

It would be evening before Augustus could return from seeing themoff in London. 

There was almost one whole day. What should I do? Where should I go?

Roy even barked with pleasure. 

As I turned back into the house, the butler informed meHephzibah--Mrs. Prodgers--was waiting to see me. 

Dear old nurse! She comes up rarely. She is radiantly happy with hergrocer's man, and I think it grieves her to see me. 

To-day it was to tell me that she had an accident with one of theSèvres cups, a chip having appeared in the handle. 

She almost cried over it. 

"Oh! If madam could know!" she said; then, "I dearly wish you wouldcome back just to see how I have kept things, " she added. 

"Oh, Hephzibah, I will some day, but do not ask me yet! I--I shouldso miss grandmamma. "

"You--you're happy, Miss Ambrosine?" she faltered, timidly. "Madamalways knew best, you know. But I had a dream last night of yourfather, and he shook his fist at us--right there. "

"Papa!" I felt startled. Our settled conviction had been so long thathe was dead. "You dreamed of papa? Oh! Hephzibah, if he should stillbe alive!" I cried. 

"There, there, " she said, uneasily. "It is too late, anyway, my deary, but he'll understand that we could none of us stand against madam--ifhe should come back, ever. He--he--won't blame us. "

I did not ask her what he should blame us for--her, poor soul! forhaving been unable to keep me with her, free; me for having submittedto the mutilation of my own life. Would papa blame us for this?

Kind, awkward, abrupt papa!

Hephzibah glanced round the room. It is the first time she had beenin my boudoir since it was finished. 

"Why won't you have up some of your things?" she said, at last. "Itdon't look like you, this grand place. "

"No, it is not very like me, is it? But you see everything is changed, and they would not do mixed, the old and the new. I am a new person. "I sighed. "See--this book is the only thing I brought with me, besidesthe miniature of my great-great-grandmother, " and I took up LaRochefoucauld tenderly. 

"It don't feel like home, " said Hephzibah, and then she suddenly burstinto tears. 

"Oh, my deary!" she sobbed, "And you so beautiful, and pale, andproud, and never saying a word, and they are none of them fit to blackyour boots. "

"Oh, hush, hush, Hephzibah!" I said. 

My voice calmed her. She looked round as though afraid that grandmammawould come in and scold her for crying. 

"There! I am an old fool!" she whimpered. "But it is being so happymyself and knowing what real love is that makes me cry. "

This picture of my dear old nurse as the heroine of a real love storywas so pathetically comic that a lump, half tears, half laughter, rosein my own throat. 

"I _am_ so glad you are happy, Hephzibah, " I said, unsteadily. "And ofcourse I am happy, too. Come--I will show you the beautiful chain Mr. Gurrage gave me lately, and a set of new rings, a ruby, a sapphire, adiamond, each stone as big as a peanut. "

Hephzibah had not lived with grandmamma for years without acquiring acertain tact. She spoke no more of things that could emotion us, andsoon we parted, smiling grimly at each other. 

But the sense of exaltation was gone. 

I could fly a little, like a bird round a large aviary. The bars werethere beyond. 

VII

It was odious weather, the afternoon of the 15th. Our eight guns hadarrived in time for tea, some with wives, some without--one with aplayful, giddy daughter. Men predominated. 

There were some two or three decent people from the county round. Theremainder, commercial connections, friends of the past. 

One terrible woman, with parted, plastered hair and an aggressivevoice and rustling silks, dominated the conversation. She is the wifeof the brother of the late Mr. Gurrage's partner who "died youngish. "

This couple come apparently every year to the best partridge drive. "Dodd" is their name. 

Mrs. Dodd was extremely ill at ease among the other ladies, but wasdetermined to let them know that she considered herself their superiorin every way. 

At the moment when she was recounting, in a strident voice, theshortcomings of one of her local neighbors, the butler announced:

"Sir Antony Thornhirst. "

Our ninth gun had arrived. 

"So good of you to ask me, " he said, as he shook hands, and his voicesounded like smooth velvet after the others. And for a minute therewas a singing in my ears. 

"Jolly glad to see you, " Augustus blustered. "What beastly weather!You motored over, I suppose?"

Sir Antony sat down by me. 

I remembered the ways he would be accustomed to and did not introducehim to any one. 

He had exchanged casual "How do you do's" with the neighbors he knew. 

I poured him out some tea. 

"I don't drink it, " he said, "but give me some, and sugar, and cream, and anything that will take time to put in. "

I laughed. 

"It is very long since we met at Harley, and I began to think you weregoing to forget me again, Comtesse!"

"Is that why you came here?"

"Yes--and because they tell me your keeper can show at least a hundredand fifty brace of partridges each day!"

"Augustus was right, then. "

"What about?"

"He said you would come because of the number of the birds. I--I--feltsure you would be engaged. "

"Your note was not cordial nor cousinly, and I was engaged, but theattraction of the game, as Mr. Gurrage says, decided me. "

His smile had never looked so mocking nor his eyes so kind. 

"Might I trouble you for a second cup, please, Mrs. Gussie?" thefemale Dodd interrupted, loudly, from half across the room, "Mr. McCormack is taking it over to you. And a little stronger thistime, please. I don't care for this new-fangled taste for weaktea--dish-water, I call it--only fit for the jaded digestions ofworn-out worldly women. "

"Who owns this fog-horn?" my kinsman whispered. "Will it come outshooting to-morrow? The game-book record will be considerably lowerif so!"

"It won't shoot; it will only lunch, " I whispered back. 

Somehow, my spirits had risen. I loved to sit and laugh therewith--Antony. (I think of him as Antony, now we are cousins, I mustremember. )

I poured out the blackest tea I could, and inadvertently put a lumpof sugar into it. I am afraid I was not attending. 

Mr. McCormack, a big, burly youth, with a red face and fearfullynervous manners, stood first on one foot, then on the other, while hewaited for the cup, which, eventually, he took back to Mrs. Dodd. 

All this time Antony was sitting talking to me in his delightfullylazy way, quite undisturbed by any one else in the room. He hasexactly grandmamma's manner of finding a general company simplyfurniture. 

He was just telling an amusing story of the house in Scotland hehad come from, when an explosion happened at the other side ofthe fireplace. Loud coughing and choking, mixed with a clatter ofteaspoons and china--and, amid a terrified silence, the fog-hornexclaimed:

"Surely, Mrs. Gussie, I told you plain enough that sugar in my teamakes me sick. "

I apologized as well as I could, and repaired my want of attention, and then I felt my other guests must claim me, so I whispered toAntony:

"Do go and talk to Lady Wakely, please. You are preventing me fromdoing my duty! I am listening to you instead. "

"Virtuous Comtesse!"

But he rose, and crossed over to the fat wife of the member for thisdivision, and soon her face beamed with smiles. 

I soothed Mr. McCormack, who somehow felt the sugar had been hisfault. 

Augustus mollified the fog-horn Dodd, and peace was restored allaround. 

It is a long time between tea and dinner when the days are growingshort. It was only half-past six when every excuse for lingering overthe teacups had expired. 

What on earth could one do with this ill-assorted company for a wholehour?

Augustus, with a desire to be extremely smart, had commanded dinner athalf-past eight. 

Mercifully, the decent people and some of the men played bridge, andwere soon engaged at one or two tables. Augustus, who is growing fondof the game, made one of the fourth, thus leaving five of our guestshanging upon my hands. 

"Shall I show you your rooms? Perhaps you would like to rest beforedinner, " I said to the ladies, who were good enough to assent, withthe exception of Mrs. Dodd, who snorted at the idea of resting. 

"Wullie, " she said to Mr. Dodd. She had evidently picked up theScotch pronunciation of his name from him, a quiet, red-haired manoriginally from Glasgow. He was hovering in the direction of one ofthe bridge-tables. "Wullie, don't let me see you playing that game ofcards. There are letters to be written to Martha and my mother. Comewith me, " she commanded. 

Mr. Dodd obeyed, and they retired to the library together. 

They are evidently quite at home here, and did not need any attentionfrom me. 

Antony Thornhirst was the only other guest unemployed, and heimmediately rose and went to write letters in the hall, he said. He had refused to play bridge on account of this importantcorrespondence. 

So at last I got the two women off to their rooms, and was standingirresolutely for a second, glancing over the balustrade after closingthe last door, when my kinsman looked up. 

"Comtesse, " he called, softly, "won't you come down and tell me whenthe post goes?"

I descended the stairs. He was standing at the bottom by one of thenegro figures when I reached the last step. 

"Have you not some quiet corner where we might sit and talk of ourancestors?" he asked, with a comic look in his cat's eyes. "This placeis so draughty, and I am afraid of the bears! And we should disturbthat loving couple in the library and the bridge-players in thedrawing-room. Have you no suggestions for my comfort? I am one of yourguests, too, you know!"

"There is Mrs. Gurrage's boudoir, that has straight-up, padded chairsand crimson satin, and there is my own, that is mustard yellow. Whichcould you bear best before dinner?" I said, laughing. 

"Oh! the yellow--mustard is stimulating and will give me an appetite. "

So we walked up the stairs again together and he followed me down thethickly carpeted passage to my highly gilded shrine. 

For the first time since I have owned it, I felt sorry I had been toonumb to make it nice. The house-maids arrange it in the morning, andthere it stays, a monument of the English upholsterer's idea of aLouis XV. Boudoir. 

As I told Hephzibah, the little copy of La Rochefoucauld and theminiature of Ambrosine Eustasie are the only things of mine--myown--that are here, besides all my new books, of course. 

I sat down in the straight-backed sofa. It has terra-cotta and bufftulips running over the mustard brocade. The gilt part runs into yourback. 

Antony sat at the other end. 

A very fat, rich cushion of "school of art" embroidery, with frills, fell between us. We looked up at the same moment and our eyes met, andwe both laughed. 

"You remind me of a picture I bought last year, " Antony said. "Itwas a little pastel by La Tour, and the last owner had framed it ina brand-new, brilliant gilt Florentine frame. "

Suddenly, as he spoke, a sense of shame came over me. I felt how wrongI had been to laugh with him about this--my home. It is because, afterall these months, I cannot realize that Ledstone is my home that Ihave been capable of committing this bad taste. 

I felt my cheeks getting red and I looked down. 

"I--I like bright colors, " I said, defiantly. "They are cheerfuland--and--"

"Sweet Comtesse!" interrupted Antony, in his mocking tone, which doesnot anger me. "Tell me about your books. "

He got up lazily, and began reading the titles of a heap on the tablebeyond. 

"What strange books for a little girl! Who on earth recommended youthese?"

"No one. I knew nothing at all about modern books, so I just sent forall and any I saw in the advertisements in the papers. Most of themare great rubbish, it seems to me, but there are one or two I like. "

He did not speak for a few moments. 

"All on philosophy! You ought to read novels at your age. "

"I did get some in the beginning, but they seemed all untrue andmawkish, or sad and dramatic, and the heroines did such silly things, and the men were mostly brutes, so I have given them up. Unless I seethe advertisement of a thrilling burglary or mystery story, I readthose. They are not true, either, and one knows it, but they make oneforget when it rains. "

"All women profess to have a little taste for philosophy andbeautifully bound Marcus Aureliuses, and _Maximes_, and lovepoems--clever little scraps covered in exquisite bindings. And one outof a thousand understands what the letter-press is about. I am wearyof seeing the same on every boudoir-table, and yet some of them aredelightful books in themselves. You have none of these, I see. "

He picked up the La Rochefoucauld. 

"Yes, here is one, but this is an old edition. " He turned to thetitle-leaf and read the date, then looked at the cover. It is boundin brown leather and has the same arms and coronet upon it that mychatelaine has--the arms of Ambrosine Eustasie de Calincourt and an"A. E. De C. " entwined, all tooled in faded gold. 

"The arms on my knife!" Antony said, pulling it from hiswaistcoat-pocket and comparing them. 

"My knife, " I said. 

"Tell me all about her--A. E. De C. , " he commanded, seating himselfon the sofa again. 

"She was my great-great-grandmother, and was guillotined. See--Iwill show you her miniature, " and I took it from its case on thewriting-table. I have had a leather covering made to keep safe theold, paste frame. It has doors that shut, and I don't let her looktoo much at the mustard-yellow walls, my pretty ancestress. 

"What an extraordinary likeness!" Antony exclaimed, as he lookedat it. "Are you sure I am not dreaming and you are not your owngreat-great-grandmother?"

"No, I am myself. But I am supposed to be like her, though. "

"It is the very image of you. She has your air and carriage of thehead, and--and--" he looked at it very carefully under the electriclight which sprouts from a twisted bunch of brass lilies on the wall, their stalks suggesting a modern Louis XV. Nightmare. 

"And what?"

"Well, never mind. Now I want to hear her story. " And we both sat downagain for the third time on the tulip-sofa. 

I told him the history just as I had told him the outline of my lifethe day in the Harley woods. Only, as then I felt I was speaking ofanother person, now I seemed to be talking of myself when I came tothe part of walking up the guillotine steps. 

"And so they cut her head off--poor little lady!" said Antony, when Ihad finished, and he looked straight into my eyes. 

The pillow of art-needlework and frills had fallen to the floor--evenit could not remain comfortably on the hard seat! There was nothingbetween us on the sofa. 

Antony leaned forward, close to me. His voice was strangely moved. 

"Comtesse!" he began, when McGreggor knocked at the door. 

"Mr. Gurrage is calling you, ma'am, " she said, in her heavy, Scotchvoice, "and he seems in a hurry, ma'am. "

"Ambrosine!" echoed impatiently in the hall. 

"Why, it must be dressing-time!" said Antony, calmly, looking at hiswatch. "I must not keep you, " and he quietly left the room as Augustusburst in from my bedroom door. 

"Where on earth have you been?" he said, crossly. "That Dodd womanhas been driving us all mad! Willie Dodd came and joined us at bridgeand took McCormack's place, and the old she-tike came after him andchattered like a monkey until she got him away. Where were you thatyou did not look after her?"

"I was here, in my sitting-room, talking to Sir Antony Thornhirst, " Isaid, almost laughing. The picture of Mrs. Dodd at the bridge-tableamused me to think of. Augustus saw me smiling, and he looked lessruffled. 

"She is an old wretch, " he said. "I wish I had not to ask Willie Doddevery year, but business is business, and I'll trouble you to be civilto them. We will weed out the whole of this lot, gradually, now. Themater will go off to Bournemouth at this time of the year, and so, by-and-by, we can have nothing but smart people. "

The evening passed in an endless, boring round. This sort of companydoes not adapt itself as the people at Harley did. With my bestendeavors to be a good hostess, the uneasiness of my guests preventedme from making them feel comfortable or at home. 

Mrs. Dodd's impertinence would have been insupportable if it had notbeen so funny. 

She complained of most things--the draughts, the inconvenience of thehours of the train departures, and so on. 

She was gorgeously dressed and hung with diamonds. Without beingexceptionally stout, everything is so tight and pushed-up that sheseems to come straight out from her chin in a kind of platform, wherethe diamonds lose themselves in a narrow, perpendicular depression inthe middle. 

Antony sat next me at dinner, at one side; on the other was old SirSamuel Wakely. Mr. Dodd on his left hand had Miss Springle, theplayful, giddy daughter of one of the guns. 

She chaffed him all the time, much to the annoyance of his life'spartner, who was sitting opposite, and who, owing to an erection offlowers, was unable to quite see what was going on. 

"Yes, " we heard Mr. Dodd say, at last, "I nearly bought it in Paris atthe Exhibition. Eh! but it was a beautiful statue!"

"I like statues, " said Miss Springle. 

"Well, she was just a perfect specimen of a woman, but Missus Doddwouldna let me purchase her, because the puir thing wasna dressed. Ididna think it could matter in marble. "

"What's that you are saying about Mrs. Dodd?" demanded that lady fromacross the table, dodging the chrysanthemums. 

"I was telling Miss Springle, my dear, of the statue of 'Innocence' Iwanted to buy at the Exhibition at Paris, " replied Mr. Dodd, meekly, "and that you wouldna let me on account of the scanty clothing. "

"Innocence, indeed!" snorted Mrs. Dodd. "Pretty names they give thingsover there! And her clothing scant, you call it, Wullie? Why, you arestretching a point to the verge of untruth to call it clothing atall--a scarf of muslin and a couple of doves! Anyhow, I'll have itknown I'll not have a naked woman in my drawing-room, in marble orflesh!"

The conversation of the whole table was paralyzed by her voice. My eyecaught Antony's, and we both laughed. 

"There, there, my dear, don't be even suggesting such things, " saidMr. Dodd, soothingly. 

"La! Mrs. Dodd, you make me blush, " giggled Miss Springle. 

I wondered what Antony thought of it all, and whether he had ever beenamong such people before. His face betrayed nothing after he laughedwith me, and he seemed to be quietly enjoying his dinner, which, fortunately, was good. 

It was only for a few minutes before we all said good-night that wespoke together alone. 

"Shall you be down to breakfast, Comtesse?" he asked me. 

"Oh yes, " I said, "These people would never understand. They wouldthink I was being deliberately rude if I breakfasted in my room. "

"At nine o'clock, then?"

"Yes. "

"Lend me your La Rochefoucauld to read to-night?" he asked. 

"With pleasure. I will have it sent to your room. "

"No, let me get it from your mustard boudoir myself. I shall be comingup, probably, to change into a smoking-coat, and my room is down thatway, you know. "

"Very well. "

So we said good-night. 

Half an hour afterwards, I was standing by my sitting-room fire whenAntony came into the room. He leaned on the mantel-piece beside me andlooked down into my face. 

"When will you come over to Dane Mount, Comtesse? I want to show you_my_ great-great-grandmother. She was yours, too, by-the-way, " hesaid. 

"When will you ask us?"

"In about a fortnight. I have to run about Norfolk until then. Willyou come some time near the 4th of November?"

"I shall have to ask Augustus, but I dare say we can. "

He frowned slightly at the mention of Augustus. 

"Of course. Well, I will not have a party, only some one to talkto--your husband. The ancestors won't interest him, probably. "

"Oh! Do ask Lady Tilchester, " I said. "I love her. "

He bent down suddenly to look at the Dresden clock. 

"No, I don't think so. She will be entertaining herself just then, " hesaid, "and probably could not get away. But leave it to me, I promiseto arrange that Augustus shall not be bored. "

He picked up La Rochefoucauld and opened it. 

"I see you have marked some of the _maximes_. "

"No. Grandmamma and the Marquis must have done that. Look, they areall of the most witty and cynical that are pencilled. I can hear themtalking when I read them. That is just how they spoke to one another. "

He read aloud:

"'_C'est une grande folie de vouloir être sage tout seul_!' Don'tbe '_sage tout seul_, ' Comtesse. Let me keep you company in your_sagesse_, " he said. 

I looked up at him. His eyes were full of a quizzical smile. Thereis something in the way his head is set, a distinction, an air ofcommand. It infinitely pleases me. I felt--I know not what!

"Now I will say good-night. I am tired, and it is getting late, " Isaid. 

"Good-night, Comtesse, " and he walked to the door. "I shall be downat nine o'clock. "

And so we parted. 

VIII

On the morrow it had cleared up and flashes of blue sky wereappearing. Augustus and Mr. McCormack had both had too much to drinkthe night before, at dinner, and were looking, and no doubt feeling, mixed and ill-tempered. 

The morning was long after the shooters had gone. It seemed as if oneo'clock, when we were to start for the lunch, would never come. 

Miss Springle had some passages-at-arms with Mrs. Dodd. They had allbeen down to breakfast but Lady Wakely and another woman, who wereaccustomed to the ways of the world. 

I had never seen any shooting before. The whole thing was new to me. Augustus had insisted upon selecting what he considered a suitablecostume for me. We had been up to London several times together to tryit on, and, on the whole, though a little _outre_ in its checks, it isnot unbecoming. 

"Do you shoot, yourself, Mrs. Gussie?" Mrs. Dodd asked, when weassembled in the hall, ready to start. 

"No; do you?" I replied. 

"Of course not! The idea! But, seeing your skirt so very short, Ishould have guessed you were a sportswoman and killed the birdsyourself!" and she sniffed ominously. 

"Do birds get killed with a skirt?" Miss Springle asked, pertly. Shehates Mrs. Dodd. They were neighbors In Liverpool, originally. "Ithought you had to shoot at them?"

Mrs. Dodd snorted. 

"You will get awfully muddy, Mrs. Dodd, in your long cashmere, " MissSpringle continued. "And Mr. Dodd told me, when I met him comingfrom the bath this morning, to be sure not to wear any colors--theyfrighten the birds. I am certain he will object to that yellowparadise-plume in your hat. "

Mrs. Dodd looked ready to fight. 

"Mr. Dodd had better talk to me about my hat!" she said, growingpurple in the face. "I call all these modern sporting-costumesindecent, and when I was a girl I should have been whipped for comingout shooting in the things you have got on, Miss Springle!"

"Really! you don't say so!" said Miss Springle, innocently, "Why, Inever heard they shot birds in Liverpool, Mrs. Dodd. "

I interfered. The expression of my elder guest's face was becomingapoplectic. 

"Let us get into the brake, " I said. 

Lady Wakely sat next me. 

"Very unpleasant person, Mrs. Dodd, " she whispered, wheezily, as wedrove off, "She is here every year. My dear, you are good-natured toput up with her. "

Lunch was laid out in the barn of one of the farm-houses. Augustus hadgiven orders that it should be of the most sumptuous description, andthe chef had done marvels. 

The table looked like a wedding-breakfast when we got there, withflowers and printed menus. 

The sportsmen were not long in making their appearance. It wasa rather warm day, and Mr. McCormack and Mr. Dodd, who were notaccustomed to much exercise, I suppose, without ceremony moppedtheir heads. 

Antony, who was walking behind, with Sir Samuel Wakely, appeared suchan astonishingly cool contrast to them. His coat did not look new, butas if it had seen service. Only everything fitted and hung right, andhe walks with an ease and grace that would have pleased grandmamma. 

Augustus had a thunderous expression on his face. So had Wilks, thehead keeper. Later, I gathered there had been a great quantity ofbirds, but the commercial friends had not been very successful intheir destruction. In fact, Mr. Dodd had only secured two brace, besides one of the beaters in the shoulder, and a dog. 

Antony sat by me. 

"Dangerous work, shooting, " he said, smiling, as he looked at themenu. "What is your average list of killed in a pheasant battue?"

"What--what kind of killed?" I asked, laughing. 

"Guests or beaters or dogs--anything but the birds. "

"Cutlets ha la ravigotte or 'ommard ha lamerican, Sir Antony?" thevoice of the first footman sounded in our ears. 

"Oh--er--get me a little Irish stew or some cold beef, " said Antony, plaintively, still with the menu in his hand. 

"We've no--Irish stew--except what is prepared for the beaters, SirAntony, " said James, apologetically. He had come from a ducal houseand knew the world. "Shall I get you some of that, Sir Antony?"

"No, don't mind. " Then, turning to me, "What are you eating, Comtesse?" he asked. "I will have some of that. "

"It is truffled partridge in aspic, " I said, disagreeably. "You canpick out the truffles if you are afraid of them. "

"Truffled partridge, then, " he said to James, resignedly, and whenit came he deliberately ate the truffles first. 

"Hock, claret, Burgundy, or champagne, Sir Antony?" demanded thebutler. 

"Oh--er--I will have the whole four!"

His face had the most comical expression of chastened resignation ashe glanced at me. 

Griggson poured out bumpers in the four glasses. 

"I shall now shoot like your friend from Liverpool, " said Antony, "andif I kill your husband and most of the guests I cannot be blamed forit, " and he drank down the hock. 

"Don't be so foolish, " I said, laughing, in spite of having pretendedto be annoyed with him. 

"I would drink anything rather than incur your displeasure, " he said, with great humility, as he took up the claret. "Must I eat everythingon the menu, too?"

I appeared not to hear, and turned to Mr. Dodd, who was on my otherside, his usually pale face still crimson with walking so fast andthis feast of Lucullus he was partaking of. 

"I had bad luck this morning, Mrs. Gussie, " he said, in a humblevoice. "I am sorry about that man and dog, and I am afraid thegentleman on your right must have got a pellet also--eh, sir?" andhe addressed Antony. 

"A mere trifle, " said my neighbor "on the right, " with his most suaveair and a twinkle in his eye as he finished the claret. "Just a shotor two in the left arm--a mere nothing, when one considers the dangersthe whole line were incurring. "

"You were shot in the arm, Sir Antony?" I exclaimed, suddenly, feelinga great dislike to Mr. Dodd. "Oh, but people should not shoot if theyare so careless, surely!"

"I beg your pardon, ma'am, " said Mr. Dodd, huffily. "I am notcareless. I have been shooting now for a matter of five years and onlytwice before have hit any one. "

"You have had the devil's own luck!" said Antony, beginning theBurgundy. 

"You may call it luck, sir, " said Mr. Dodd, "but I think a man wants abit of judgment, too, to shoot, and I always try to remember where myneighbors stand. But, I must admit, with pheasant shooting in a woodit is more difficult. It was getting a little excited with a rabbitwhich caused the last accident I had. "

Antony finished the Burgundy. 

"Are you going to walk with us afterwards, Comtesse?" he asked me, presently, in a low voice, his eyes still twinkling; "because, if so, I advise you to fortify your nerve with a little orange brandy I seethey are handing now, " and he began the champagne. 

"Oh, I am so sorry about the whole thing. I think it is perfectlydreadful, " I said, "and--and I do hope you are not really hurt. "

He showed me his wrist. His silk shirt-sleeve was wet with blood, andhis arm also had streaks on it, and just under the skin were two orthree small, black lumps. 

"I can't tell you how sorry I am, " I said, and my voice trembled. Ifelt I wanted to take his arm and wash the blood off, and caress it, and tell him how it grieved me that he should be wounded--and by thesepeople, too. I would like to have shot them all. 

"Don't look so distressed, Comtesse, " he said. "It does not hurt abit, and the whole thing amuses me. A very original character, Mr. Dodd, " and he finished the champagne. 

Augustus walked with me after lunch for a little when we started. Hewas in a furious temper at the non-slaughter of the partridges. 

"By Jove! next year, " he said, "I'll clear out the whole boiling, whether the mater likes it or no, and have some of the people we metat Harley. Thornhirst is the only man who has killed anything great, though Wakely and Bush did a fair share. "

I told him how dreadful I thought the accident had been. 

"Good thing it was not me he shot, " said Augustus. "I'd have firedback. But the part I mind the most is the miserable bag. Wilks is mad. We both wanted the record to go to the field; and what can we do? Onlythirty-two brace up to luncheon!"

I soothed him as well as I could. 

Mrs. Dodd was puffing behind us. She had insisted upon following withthe guns, although Lady Wakely and the two other elderly women haddriven back to Ledstone. 

The yellow paradise plume and bright-blue dress made a glowing spot ofcolor on the brown, ploughed field. 

Miss Springle tripped gayly along in front with Mr. Dodd, coquettishlytapping him on the arm and looking up in his face. 

Giggles of laughter were wafted back to us. Miss Springle is a ratherpretty girl, with thick black hair. 

Antony strode forward and joined us. Augustus dropped behind to speakto Wilks. 

"You must stand with me, " Antony said, "I will protect you as well asI can, and the chances are against the shot coming my way twice in oneday. "

He was so gay. Never have I had so delightful a walk. I cannot writedown what he said. If I try to remember his words, I cannot. It is thegeneral impression they leave behind, rather than any actual sentenceI can recall, which makes me feel his wit is like grandmamma's, and itreveals all the time his great knowledge of books, and people, and theworld. And there is a lightness which makes one feel how strong anddeep must be the under-current. 

My spirits always rise when I am with him. 

Soon we arrived at the hedge we were to stand behind. 

It was all new to me, the whole scene. Out of nowhere Antony's servantseemed to spring with two guns and a stick-seat, which he arranged forme. 

Mrs. Dodd had panted after her husband and Miss Springle, who werein the most open place; but Wilks was unable to contain himself withannoyance at this. 

"Not a bird will face the line if the lady's dress is seen, " he said, in despair, as he passed us, and we saw him unceremoniously insistupon Mrs. Dodd joining Sir Samuel Wakely, who was at the thickestcorner, next us. 

"The air must be black with the language Wakely is using, I will bet, "said Antony. 

And then the partridges began to come. 

"There's a burrd! There's a burrd!" shouted Mr. Dodd, excitedly, pointing with his gun straight at Sir Samuel's head. 

"Damn you, sir!" yelled Sir Samuel back to him. "It is pure murderthe way you hold your gun. "

"I'll trouble you not to swear at my husband!" roared Mrs. Dodd. 

A huge covey came over at the moment, but the voices and thebright-blue dress attracted their attention, and they all wheeled offto the right, so that, but for two stray birds killed by Antony, thisend of the line found the drive a blank. 

Augustus's rage knew no bounds. 

He came up to me as if it was my fault. 

"Take that old woman home this moment, Ambrosine, " he said, furiously. "Do you hear?--this minute!" and I was obliged to go up to Mrs. Doddand suggest our returning. I was tired, I said. 

"I'll not leave Wullie with that minx, " she replied, firmly. "You cango without me, Mrs. Gussie. I'll not take it rude of you at all. " Itried to explain that I thought we were all a little in the way andhad better return to the house; but Miss Springle, who joined us, would not hear of such a thing. 

"Mr. Dodd says he can't get on without me, " she said, coyly, whereuponMrs. Dodd gurgled with rage. 

"I am afraid you will all be shot if you delay here, " said Antony, coming to my rescue. "We are going to take the next beat at rightangles, and you are all in the full line. "

"Goodness, gracious me!" screamed Mrs. Dodd. "Oh, gentlemen, save me!"

And she rushed wildly towards Augustus, who was coming up, her dressheld high, showing a pair of opulent ankles and wide, flat feetcovered in thin, kid boots, while a white cotton stocking appearedupon the stove-pipe calf that was visible above. 

The yellow paradise plume floated in the wind, the hat having becomea little deranged by her rapid flight. 

"Gussie Gurrage!" she yelled. "Oh, do you hear that? The gentlemansays I'll be shot!"

And she precipitated herself into the unwilling arms of Augustus. 

He has not manners enough to stand such an assault. His face flushedwith annoyance, and the savage look grew round his mouth. I waitedfor the explosion. 

"Confound it, Mrs. Dodd!" he said. "Women have no business outshooting, and you had better clear out and go home. "

"I've never been so insulted in my life!" she snorted, as we walkedback to the farm, after a confused scene, in which Mr. Dodd and SirSamuel and Augustus, Miss Springle, and Mrs. Dodd herself had alltalked at once. 

"Never so insulted in my life! Sent away as if I wasn't wanted. If Ihadn't known Gussie Gurrage since he was a baby I'd have boxed hisears, that I would!"

I remained in haughty silence. I feared I should burst into screams oflaughter if I attempted speech. 

Miss Springle had evaded us at the last minute, and could be seen oncemore by Mr. Dodd's side as we drove past the shooters again on theroad. 

A meek woman, sister of Mr. McCormack, a Mrs. Broun by name, who hadquietly stood by her husband and had not been in any one's way, nowcaught Mrs. Dodd's wrath. 

"You've had a good deal to do with Jessie Springle's bringing up, I'veheard, Mrs. Broun, since her mother died, and a disgrace she is toyou, I can testify. "

"Oh, dear Mrs. Dodd, how can you say such a thing?" said Mrs. Broun, almost crying. "Jessie is a dear girl, so full of fun. "

"Fun, you call it, Mrs. Broun! Looking after other women's husbands!How would you like her to be flirting with your Tom?"

(This is the spirit my mother-in-law would approve of. )

"Oh, it is quite immodest, talking so, Mrs. Dodd!" replied themeek lady, flushing scarlet. "Why, no one would ever think of suchthings--a girl to flirt with a married man!"

"That's all you know about it, Mrs. Broun. I tell you that girl willupset your home yet! Mark my words; but I'll not have her runningafter Wullie, anyway. "

The situation was becoming very strained. I felt bound to interfere bysome _banal_ remarks about the scenery, and finally we arrived back atLedstone and I got rid of them by conducting them to their rooms. 

IX

It poured rain again before the sportsmen returned, and they were moreor less wet and cross. Antony went straight to his room to change, andso did the two other decent men. But the commercial friends stayedas they were, muddy boots and all, and were grouped round the fire, smelling of wet, hot tweed, when Mrs. Dodd sailed into the room. 

"Wullie, " she said, sternly, "you've no more sense than a child, andif it was not for me you'd have been in your coffin these five years. Go up-stairs this minute and change your boots. " And off she sent him, but not without a parting shot from Miss Springle. 

"Mind you put on a blue velvet smoking-suit, Mr. Dodd, dear. I dolove gentlemen in smoking-suits, " she said, giggling. 

Tea was a terrible function. Oh, the difference to the merry tea atHarley!

Lady Wakely, sleepily knitting and addressing an occasionalobservation to her neighbor; the rest of the women silent as thegrave, except Miss Springle and Mrs. Dodd, who sparred together liketwo cats. 

The men could talk of nothing but the war news which had come by theafternoon post. 

There was a gloom over the whole party. How on earth was I to escapefrom the oppression? They were not people of the world, who would beaccustomed to each person doing what they pleased. They expected to beentertained all the time. To get away from them for a moment I wouldbe obliged to invent some elaborate excuse. 

Antony had not appeared upon the scene, or Augustus, either. 

At last--at last Lady Wakely put her knitting in a bag and made a movetowards the door. 

"I shall rest now, " she said, in her fat, kind voice, and Iaccompanied her from the room, leaving the rest of my guests to takecare of themselves. I felt I should throw the cups at their heads ifI stayed any longer. 

There, in the hall, was Antony, quietly reading the papers. Hisdark-blue and black silk smoking-suit was extraordinarily becoming. Helooked like a person from another planet after the people I had leftin the drawing-room. 

He rose as we passed him. 

"Some very interesting South African news, " he said, addressing me, and while I stopped to answer him Lady Wakely went up the stairsalone. 

"The draughts are dreadful here again, Comtesse, " he said, plaintively. 

"Why did you not go into the library, then, " I said, "or thebilliard-room, or one of the drawing-rooms?"

"I thought perhaps you might pass this way and would give me youradvice as to which room to choose. "

I laughed. "The library, then, I suggest, " and I started as if to goup the stairs. 

"Comtesse! You would not leave me all alone, would you? You have nottold me half enough about our ancestors yet. "

"Oh, I am tired of the ancestors!" and I mounted one step and lookedback. 

"I thought perhaps you would help me to tie up my wrist. "

I came down instantly. If he were pretending, I would punish himlater. 

"Come, " I said, and led the way to the library, where we found thefire had gone out. 

How ashamed I felt of the servants! This must never happen again. 

"Not here; it is cold and horrid. " And he followed me on into mymother-in-law's boudoir. There were no lights and no fire. 

My wrath rose. 

"It must be your mustard sitting-room, after all, " said Antony. So upthe stairs we went. Here, at all events, the fire blazed, and the roomglowed with brilliancy. 

Roy was lying on the rug and seemed enchanted to see us. 

"Is it really hurting you?" I said, hurriedly. 

"No, not hurting--only a stupid little scratch. " And he undid hisshirt-cuff and turned up his sleeve. 

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Oh, I am so sorry!"

One of the shots had grazed the skin and made a nasty cut, whichwas plastered up with sticking-plaster and clumsily tied with ahandkerchief. 

"My servant is not a genius at this sort of thing. Will you do itbetter, Comtesse?"

I bound the handkerchief as neatly as I could, and, for someunexplained reason, as once before at Harley, my heart beat in mythroat. I could feel his eyes watching me, although my head was bent. 

I did not look up until the arm was finished. His shirt was of thefinest fine. There was some subtle scent about his coat that pleasedme. A faint perfume, as of very good cigars--nothing sweet andeffeminate, like a woman. It intensely appealed to me. I felt--Ifelt--oh, I do not know at all what my feelings meant. I tried tothink of grandmamma, and how she would have told me to behave when Iwas nervous. I had never been so nervous in my life before. 

"You--you will not shoot to-morrow?" I faltered. 

"Of course I shall. You must not trouble about this at all, Comtesse. It is the merest scratch, and was a pure accident. He is an excellentfellow, Mr. --er--Dodd is his name, is it not? Only pity is he did notshoot his wife, poor fellow!"

Again, as on a former occasion, the admirable _sang-froid_ of mykinsman carried things smoothly along. I felt quite calmed when Ilooked up at him. 

"We won't try sitting on that sofa to-night, " I laughed. "This is afairly comfortable arm-chair. You are an invalid. You must sit init. See, I shall sit here, " and I drew a low seat of a dreadfullydistorted Louis XV. And early Victorian mixed style that theupholsterer, when bringing the things, had described to me as a"sweet, pretty lady's-chair. "

Antony sat down. The light from the lily electric branches made thegray in his hair shine silver. He looked tired and not so mocking asusual. 

"I have settled with your husband when you are to come to Dane Mount. He says the 4th of November will suit him. "

"We shall drive over, I suppose?"

"Yes. "

After that we neither of us spoke for a few moments. 

"Did you read La Rochefoucauld last night?" I asked, presently. 

"No. "

"Well, why did you ask for it, then?"

"I had a very good reason. "

One could never describe the expression of Antony's face. If one goeson saying "mocking, " or "cynical, " or "ironical, " or "quizzical, " itgives no impression of what it is. It is a mixture of all four, andyet laughing, and--and--tender, and _insouciant_, and gay. He ishimself, and there could never be any one like him. One feels as ifall common things must vanish and shrivel up before his style of wit. 

One could think of him as finishing his game of chess calmly while theofficers of the Terror waited to conduct him to the guillotine. He isexactly--oh, but exactly!--grandmamma's idea of a gentleman. I wishshe had seen more of him. 

There is nothing _poseur_ or dramatic about him. He is quite simple, although he laughs at things all the time. I seem to have learned moreof the world, and the tone of everything, just talking to him, thanfrom all the books I have read lately. What would it be like if hewere interested in anything intensely, if something moved him deeply, if he really cared?

As I sat there I thought of many things. An atmosphere of home hadsuddenly come into the room. I could almost believe I could heargrandmamma's voice. 

"What are you thinking of so seriously, Comtesse?" he asked, lazily. 

"I was wondering--"

"Well?"

"I was wondering if anything really mattered in life; if one couldgrow old and remain numb all the time; if things are real; if--oh, does anything matter? Tell me, you who know. "

"Not many things. Later, you will regret some things you have notdone--very few you have. "

"I have been reading metaphysics lately, and, it seems, one couldreason one's self into believing nothing is real. One of my books saidthe ancient Cynic philosophers doubted for the sake of investigationand the moderns investigate for the sake of doubting. What does it allmean?"

He began stroking Roy's ears. He had put his dear black-and-tan headon Antony's knee. 

"It means a great many words. Do not trouble your wise head about it. The world is a pleasant enough place if you can pay your bills andhave a fair digestion--eh, Roy? Bones are good things, aren't they, old fellow?"

"You, at all events, are never serious, " and I laughed. 

"I will tell you about that when you come to Dane Mount. "

"I wish you could have got Lady Tilchester to go, then. I do like herso much. She has been very kind to me. It would give me pleasure tosee her. "

"She is a delightful woman. "

"She told me how long she had known you--since her wedding-day, Ithink she said--and, oh, lots of things about you. She seemed--"

He moved his arm suddenly. 

"I don't think you tied this handkerchief tight enough, Comtesse, " hesaid, again turning up his cuff. 

I rose and looked at the bandage. 

"Why, yes. It is just the same as it was. But I will do it again ifyou wish. "

This time it did not take me so long, but that ridiculous beatingbegan again in my heart. 

"It must have a double knot to keep it right, " said Antony. 

My fingers seemed clumsy. We were standing so close together there wasa something--an electricity--which made my hands tremble. Oh, this wasfolly! I _must_ not let myself feel so. I finished the knot at last, and then said, stupidly:

"I have an idea I should return to my worthy guests down-stairs, '"

Antony smiled. 

"They are quite happy without you, " he said, "Vain little Comtesse, to think your presence is necessary to every one!"

"I dare say. But--I must go to them. "

"No, you must not. Sit down in your low chair and forget all aboutthem. No good hostess fusses after her guests. People like to be leftto themselves. "

I sat down meekly. 

"I never can understand, " said Antony, presently, "why yourgrandmother did not let me know when first you came to the cottage. She was fully aware of the relationship between us, even if I wasnot. "

"Grandmamma was a very proud woman. We were so very poor. And then, there was grandpapa's _bêtise_, which, I fancy, had quite separatedthem from his family. "

"What made her come to Ledstone at all, I wonder?"

I felt my cheeks getting pink, and bent down to look into the fire. 

"She wanted to live in England, so that I might become English bygrowing up there, and--and it was cheap. We had been in London beforethat, and back in Paris, and down at Brighton, and a lot of dullplaces. I remember she saw the advertisement in the paper one morningand took the cottage immediately. "

"You had heard that we were relations?" he asked. 

"Yes, vaguely. But I did not know how many of you there were, onlythat the present holder of the title was a Sir Antony. "

"It was a strange coincidence neither of us should have caught theother's name at the ball that night. "

"Yes. "

"Afterwards, when we talked you over at Harley, every one had gotinformation about you, it seemed. They were all so awfully interestedin you. You looked such an extraordinary contrast to the rest of thecompany. "

"Well, I am glad of that. "

He smiled. 

"It was when I heard that your grandmother was a Frenchwoman I graspedeverything. I remembered there was some story in the family about ayounger son marrying a beautiful Parisienne. But it seemed to me itmust be too far back to be possible. And then Lady Tilchester told meshe was a very old woman. So we came over next day. "

"I wish you had seen more of grandmamma, " I said. "You would have goton together. She used to say wonderful things sometimes. "

"I thought her the most lovely old lady I had ever seen. "

"Her maxims would fill a book as big as La Rochefoucauld. "

"What a pity you did not write them down!"

"The Marquis and she had the _religion du beau_. They worshippedeverything that was beautiful and suitable and refined. They never didanything for effect, only because the action was due to themselves andwas a good action. " I paused. 

"Go on, Comtesse, " said Antony. "I like to hear it all. "

"They really believed in _noblesse oblige_. Neither of them would havestooped from their position--oh, not a little inch. "

"It is a thing we have quite forgotten in England. It wasinconvenient, and most of us are not rich enough to indulge in it. "

"But must one be rich to behave as of one's race?" I asked, astonished. 

"Yes--or remain in the background, a good deal bored. To obtainthe wherewithal to enjoy this rather expensive world, people stoopconsiderably nowadays. "

"And you don't think it dreadful?"

"I am not a Crusader. Times have changed. One can keep one's own ideasand let others do as they please. "

"Grandmamma had a maxim like that. She said it was _bourgeois_ to beshocked and astonished at things. She believed in the difference ofclasses. No one could have persuaded her that the common people aremade of the same flesh and blood as we are. "

"Tell me some more. "

"This was her idea of things generally: first of all, to have thegreatest self-respect; to stoop to no meanness; to desecrate the bodyor mind in no way; to conquer and overcome all foolish emotions;to be unselfish, to be gay, to be courageous; to bear physical andmoral pain without any outward show; to forever have in front of onethat a straight and beautiful carriage must be the reflection of astraight and beautiful mind; to take pleasure in simple things, andto be contented with what one has got if it is impossible to obtainbetter--in short, never to run one's head against a stone wall ora feather-bed, but if a good thing is to be gained by patience, orperseverance, or concentration, to obtain it. "

"I am learning. Continue, " said Antony, but there was no mock in hiseyes. Only he smiled a little. 

"They both had a fine contempt of death and a manner of _grandseigneur_ and a perfect philosophy. They had the refinement ofsentiment of the _ancien régime_, only they were much less coarse. Andin the _ancien régime_ one worshipped the King and the constitution ofFrance, whereas grandmamma and the Marquis worshipped only _le beau_in everything, which is higher than an individual. "

"How well you tell it! I shall have to reorganize my religion. "

"You are laughing at me!"

"No, I am not. I am deeply interested. Go on, " and he leaned back inthe straight-backed arm-chair. 

"'Never stay in the mud, ' was another of grandmamma's maxims. 'Ithappens that the best of us may fall there in life, but no one needstay there, ' she used to say. Even the common people could rise outof it if they a fine enough spirit. But we were the examples, and onemust never give a bad example. For instance, the common people mightcry when they were hurt. They were only lower creatures and under theprotection of the others. They could roar, if it pleased them, as theywere the model of no one. But we could not cry, to encourage thisfoolishness. "

"And so you lived and learned all that, dear little Comtesse! Nowonder your eyes are so wise. "

"I remember once I became impatient with some new stitches in myembroidery that would not go right, and I flung the piece downand stamped on it and tore it. Grandmamma said nothing, but shedeliberately undid a ball of silk and tangled it dreadfully, andthen gave it to me to straighten out. It was not to irritate me, shesaid. But patience and discipline were necessary to enable one to getthrough life with decency and pleasure, and while I untangled the silkI should have time to reflect upon how comically ridiculous I hadbeen to throw down and trample upon an inanimate thing that only mypersonal stupidity had caused to annoy me. "

Antony looked at me a long time. He sighed a short, quick sigh, andthen said, gayly:

"You must certainly write a book for the training of the young. Butwhat did your grandmother say of such things as strong passions--themad love of one person for another, for instance? Could they be ruledby maxims?"

"She did not discuss those things with me. But she did say that inlife, now and then, there came a _coup de foudre_, which sometimes wasits glory and sometimes not; that this was nature, and there was nouse going absolutely contrary to nature; but that a disciplined personwas less likely to commit a _bêtise_, or to mistake a passing lightfor the _coup de foudre_, than one who was accustomed to give way toevery emotion, as a trained soldier is better able to stand fire thanthe raw recruit from the fields. "

"And yet the trained soldier goes under sometimes. "

"In that case, she said, there were only two courses--either to finishthe matter and go out altogether, or to get up again and fight betternext time. "

Antony looked down at me. He shaded his eyes with his hand, and itseemed as if he were observing something in my very soul. Then hesaid, with a whimsical smile, "Comtesse, tell me. And did she considerthere were any great sins?"

"Oh yes. To break one's word, or in any way degrade one's race. Butshe said sins were not so much sins in themselves as in their _façonde faire_. One must remain a gentlewoman--or man--always, even inmoments of the greatest _tourbillons_. 'We are all of flesh andblood, ' she said, 'but in the same situation the _fille de chambre_conducts herself differently to the _femme de qualité_. ' What aserious impression I am giving you of grandmamma, though! She wasa gay person, full of pleasant thoughts. "

"She permitted pleasures, then?"

"But, of course, all pleasures that did not really injure otherpeople. She said priests and custom and convention had robbed theworld of much joy. "

"She was quite right. "

"She liked people to have fine perceptions. To be able to 'see withthe eye-lashes' was one of her expressions, and, I assure you, nothingescaped her. It was very fatiguing to be long in the company of peoplewho passed their lives morally eating suet-pudding, she said. Avoidstodge, she told me, and, above all, I was to avoid that sentimental, mawkish, dismal point of view that dramatically wrote up, overeverything, 'Duty, ' with a huge D. It happened that there were dutiesto be done in life, but they must be accomplished quietly, or gayly, as the case might be. 'Do not shut the mouth with a snap, and, havingdone so, turn the corners down, ' she said. 'These habits will notprocure friends for you. ' And so I learned to take things gayly. "

We were both silent for some time after this. Then Antony exertedhimself to amuse me. We talked as lightly as the skimming of swallows, flying from one subject to another. We were as happy as laughingchildren. The time passed. It seemed but a few minutes when the clockstruck eight. 

"You will make me late for dinner!" I exclaimed. "But you reminded meof grandmamma and the Marquis and made me talk. "

"May I come again to-night--to return La Rochefoucauld?" he asked, with his droll smile. 

"I do not know. We shall see. " And I ran into my room, leaving himstanding beside the fire. 

X

When I got into my bedroom the door was open into Augustus's roombeyond. He had not come up to dress. Indeed, when I was quite readyto go down to dinner he had not yet appeared. 

Half-past eight sounded. 

I descended the stairs quickly and went along the passage towards his"den. " There I met his valet. 

"Mr. Gurrage is asleep, ma'am, " he said, "and does not seem inclinedto wake, ma'am, " and he held the door open for me to pass into theroom. 

Augustus was lying in his big chair, before the fire, his facecrimson, his mouth wide open, and snoring and breathing very heavily. He was still in his shooting-things. 

An indescribable smell of scorching tweed and spirit pervaded theroom. 

By his side was an almost finished glass of whiskey. The bottle stoodon the tray and another bottle lay, broken, on the floor. 

Atkinson began clearing up this _débris_. 

"Augustus!" I called, but he did not awake. "Augustus, it is time fordinner!"

"If you please, ma'am, " said the valet, coughing respectfully, "if Imight say so, you had better let Mr. Gurrage sleep, ma'am. I'll seeafter him. He is--very angry when he is like this and woke suddenly, ma'am. "

I looked at the whiskey bottles and the flushed face. A sickeningdisgust overwhelmed me. And there would be no Lady Tilchester to saveme to-night!

"Open the window, " I said to Atkinson, "and persuade Mr. Gurrage to goto bed when he wakes. " And I left the room. 

All my guests were assembled when I got into the first drawing-room. Indeed, it was twenty minutes to nine. 

Mrs. Dodd had the air of an aggrieved turkey-gobbler. I felt she wouldfly at some one. 

"We thought we should not get any dinner, Mrs. Gussie, " she said, huffily. "Folks are generally down in their own houses!"

I took no notice of this remark. 

"I am so sorry to be late, Lady Wakely, " I said, addressing her andthe other women, "but my husband is not well, and, I fear, will not beable to come in to dinner. He must have caught a chill out shooting. "

"Have you sent for the doctor? Because, if not, I know all aboutchills with Wullie, who never changes his socks, " interrupted Mrs. Dodd. "Let me go to him, Mrs. Gussie. "

"No, thank you. Do not trouble, " I said. "His servant and I havedone all that is necessary, and he wishes to sleep. Let us go into dinner. "

I told them each whom they were to take in, and put my own hand onAntony's arm. It seemed as if he held it closely to his side, but hesaid nothing, and we walked into the dining-room. 

I do not know at all what we talked about. Certainly for threecourses everything was a blank to me. But I heard myself laughing, and Mr. Dodd, who sat on my other hand, seemed mightily amused atmy conversation. 

"Why, the open air and a little walking has done you all the good inthe world, Mrs. Gussie!" I was conscious, at last, that he was saying. "Your cheeks are quite rosy and your eyes as bright as stars. "

"Yes, it was a delightful day, " I said. 

"Talk about chills, Mr. McCormack"--Mrs. Dodd's voice carried acrossthe table-"I know Gussie Gurrage, and I don't believe he ever had achill in his life!"

Antony now began to talk to me quietly. He said very little. His voicewas particularly cool and collected. He never once looked at me. Iwas grateful for that. I felt as if I could not bear to see sympathyin his eyes. He also talked to Lady Wakely, on his other hand, andchaffed beyond to Miss Springle. 

And so the dinner passed, and the ladies rose to leave thedining-room, Mr. McCormack holding the door for us. 

As it was wide open, and all could see into the hall, an apparitionappeared upon the scene, coming from the passage that leads to the"den"--Augustus, being supported by Atkinson and one of the footmen, and singing snatches of some low music-hall song. 

In an instant Antony had sprung forward and closed the door, Mr. McCormack and the others standing open-mouthed and inert. 

"There, I knew it was no chill!" exclaimed Mrs. Dodd. 

"Hush, madam!" said Antony, sternly, his eyes flashing green-bluefire. "We were very comfortable at the table. Shall we not all sitdown again?"

Lady Wakely at once returned to her chair. The meek Mrs. Broun puther hand on my arm in sympathy, but I annihilated her with a look asI swept back to my seat, and soon my guests were once more in theirplaces. 

Then it was that Antony exerted himself to amuse this company. Withthe most admirable tact and self-composure, he kept the whole partyentertained for half an hour. And when we again left the room it was_en bande_, without ceremony, the men accompanying us. 

Lady Wakely kindly said good-night in quite a few minutes, and theother women followed her example. I spoke no word of thanks to Antony. I did not even look into his face. 

When I got to my boudoir I could hear Augustus's drunken snores fromthe room beyond. He had mercifully fallen asleep. 

I did not ring for McGreggor. I would stay in my sitting-room allnight. Roy came up to me and licked my hand. Then suddenly somethingseemed to give way in my will, and I dropped on the rug beside my dogand cried as I have never cried in my life, my head buried in hissoft, black coat. 

Oh, grandmamma, forgive me for such weakness! But surely, if we hadknown of this horror, even the Calincourts need not have kept theirword to a drunken man!

I did not hear the door open, but suddenly was conscious of Antony'svoice. 

"Ambrosine, for God's sake don't cry so!" he whispered, hoarsely. 

I did not look up. 

"Oh, I want to thank you for your kindness, " I sobbed, "but if youwould continue it you will leave me now. "

He knelt on the rug beside me, but he did not even touch my hair. 

"I cannot leave you--miserable like this, " he said, brokenly, asif the words were dragged from him. "Ambrosine, my dearest! LittleComtesse, please, please do not cry!"

Joy ran through me at his words. My sobs ceased. 

The drunken voice of Augustus began the song again from the next room. 

I started up in terror. Oh, if he should burst into this room!

"Antony, " I implored, "if you want to serve me, go!" And I opened thepassage door. 

He drew me into the corridor with him. 

"I tell you, you shall not stay here alone with that brute!" he said, fiercely. "Promise me you will go to your maid's room and not comeinto this part of the house to-night. I will see his valet and arrangethings safely for him. "

"Very well, " I said, and then I ran. If I had stayed anothermoment--ah, well!

 * * * * *

Augustus was too ill to get up next morning. It was raining again, and, by common consent, our guests left by mid-day trains. 

Sir Samuel Wakely said, with gruff kind-heartedness, when I appearedat breakfast:

"I have seen Wilks, and he says there is very little chance of itsclearing for us to shoot to-day, so I think Lady Wakely and I will bestarting home before luncheon-time. With your husband ill, I am sureyou would be glad to be relieved of visitors. "

Lady Wakely also expressed her regret at leaving, and said a numberof kind things with perfect tact. 

The good taste of some of the rest of the party was not so apparent. Mrs. Broun gushed open sympathy and had to be snubbed; Miss Springlegiggled, while Mrs. Dodd muttered a number of disagreeable things, andthe other women remained in shocked silence. 

The men were awkward and uncomfortable, too. Altogether it was amorning that is unpleasant to remember. Antony was the only personunmoved and exactly the same as usual. It steadied my nerves to lookat him. 

I had not seen Augustus, as I had come straight from a room nearMcGreggor's, where I had spent the night. As I was leaving thedining-room I went towards the staircase, but Antony stopped me. 

"Do not go up, " he said. "Leave him to himself. The doctor is withhim, and when he has completely recovered he will probably bepenitent. He has only just escaped delirium tremens, and will mostlikely be in bed for a day or two. Promise me that you will not gonear his room or I will stay and look after you myself. "

Oh, the kindness in his voice!

"Yes, I promise, " I said, meekly. 

"Then I will say good-bye, Comtesse, until we meet at Dane Mount onthe 4th of November. "

"Good-bye, " I faltered, and we shook hands calmly before the rest ofthe company standing about the hall. 

But when the tuff-tuff-tuff of his automobile subsided in thedistance, I felt as if all things were dead. 

The evening post brought an invitation from the Duke of Myrlshire, asking us to go and stay with him for a small shoot on the 30th ofOctober. 

Augustus sent for me. 

As I had promised, I had not been near him until this moment. 

He was still in bed, and looked ill and unshaven. He was reading hisletters, and glanced up at me with heavy, bloodshot eyes. 

"Just got a line from Myrlshire, " he said, pompously, without a traceof shame or regret in his voice. 

"He says he has written to you, too; he wants me to shoot on the30th. "

I remained silent. I did not mean to irritate him, but the whole scenemade me numb with disgust. 

"Why the devil don't you answer?" Augustus raged, his face flushingdarkly. "Write at once and say we shall be delighted to accept. "

"You are engaged to shoot with Mr. Dodd for that date, " I informedhim. 

Mr. Dodd was sent to perdition, and Mrs. Dodd, too, and then he said, more quietly:

"Sit down now and write to the Duke. I would not miss this foranything. "

I did not stir from where I stood. 

"Listen, Augustus, " I said. "I will not visit with you anywhere, and Iwill let every one know the reason, unless you swear, by whatever youhold sacred, that you will never utterly disgrace yourself again asyou did last night. When you have decided to make this oath you canlet me know. " And I left the room, leaving the air behind me thickwith curses. 

I had one of the most distant spare rooms prepared for myself, andwhen I was going to bed a note came to me. 

"I swear, " it ran. "Only come back to me. I want to kiss yougood-night. "

"Tell Mr. Gurrage I will see him in the morning, " I said to Atkinson, and I locked my door. 

XI

Augustus was not able to leave his room for four or five days afterthis. I left him almost entirely to himself, only going to see himonce a day, to hear if he required anything. 

At the end of the time his penitence was complete, and he promised meto change his ways for the future. He was horribly affectionate to me, but peace was restored. 

I cannot say that I felt any happier, but it seemed a lull and calmafter a storm. I tried to be more gentle and sympathetic to him andto take more interest in the house. 

And so, at last, the 30th arrived, and our visit to Myrlton Castle. 

We had to pass through London on our way there, and Augustus left mefor an hour or two, while he went to his tailor's, he said. 

I had no money to shop with. I had spent all my first quarter'sallowance on books and a late wedding-present to Hephzibah, and Ifoolishly could not bring myself to ask Augustus for more. 

So I sat in the hotel hall after lunch and watched the people passingby. 

What had seemed a great sum of money to me in my days of povertynow appeared a very meagre allowance, as I had begun to realize whatthings cost. In making the settlement I had not been consulted. Grandmamma and the Marquis had arranged matters with my futurehusband, and I remember her words: "We have only been able to securefor your personal use a very mediocre sum, but your jointure in caseof widowhood is quite magnificent. "

Augustus had promised her I should have everything I wanted in theworld--"as much money as she likes to ask for, once she is my wife. "

It was the "asking for" that kept me penniless. I would not be sofoolish as to spend it all at once the next time it came in. Meanwhilethe knowledge that a sovereign or two is all one possesses in one'spocket has a depressing effect upon the spirits. 

"Run up what bills you like for your clothes, " Augustus has often saidto me. "I don't care, as long as they show the money that has been putinto them and you make a good dash. "

So I sat on the sofa in the hotel hall musing all by myself. 

Suddenly a desire came over me to take Augustus at his word. I, too, would go to my tailor's. 

I do not know London very well; but Lady Tilchester had given me theaddress of the latest and most fashionable dressmaker, and I got intoa hansom and drove there. 

The garments were pretty, and I ordered several tea-gowns and thingsthey had ready, and, as I was leaving, gave Augustus's name andaddress for the account to be sent to. He should receive the bill, as he wished. 

I spoke distinctly, and perhaps more loudly than usual, as I findshop-people so stupid with names. A young _vendeuse_, who heard meas she entered the room, now came up. 

"Oh, this is Madam Henriette's order, Madam Green, " she said to theelder woman who had been attending upon me. "Madam Henriette isengaged just now"--and she turned to me--"but she asked me to tellyour ladyship if you should call again to-day that the things will besent off to-night to join you at Myrlton Castle as you wished. Mr. Gurrage has just been in and left a message that he was sorry to missyour ladyship, but would be at the station. " Then, struck by some lookin my face, she said, "The Viscountess Grenellen, is it not?"

The elder _vendeuse_, who probably knew Lady Grenellen by sight, wasgreen with apprehension that some shocking gaff had been committed. 

For one second I hesitated, then:

"The things I have ordered are for Lady Grenellen, " I said, calmly. Mercifully we are about the same height. "You can send them with theothers to Myrlton Castle. "

And with a few casual words of admiration about a set of lingerie thatwas lying on the table, I sauntered out into the street. 

I do not know exactly what I felt--a sense of insult, principally. 

I did not hate Lady Grenellen, and I did not feel jealous aboutAugustus. But it all seemed so terribly low. 

She, a gentlewoman who must have been brought up with everysurrounding that could foster the sentiment of self-respect--she, theDuke of Myrlshire's cousin, not a _parvenue_--beautiful, charming, andyoung--to accept clothes from Augustus!

Oh! To take a lover for love, that one could understand and perhapspardon. The Marquis was grandmamma's lover, but--but not a commonperson like Augustus--for clothes!

"Back to the Carlton, miss?" said the hansom man, breaking in upon mythoughts. Perhaps I looked undecided as I stood in the street. 

I glanced at my watch. There would be just time to catch the train. 

"Euston, " I said, and I swung to the doors. Then, as I sat there, Irealized that my knees were trembling. 

At the station Augustus had already arrived, and, under pretenceof seeing whether the servants and luggage were all there, he wasscanning the platform anxiously for Lady Grenellen. 

His face fell when he saw me. Perhaps he hoped she would have arrivedfirst. 

I could not prevent myself from speaking in a voice of extra coldness, although I tried hard to be natural. This was not the moment forrecriminations. Augustus noticed it, and, as usual, began to bluster. 

"What's up?" he asked, irritably. "You look as white as a ghost. "

"I will get into the carriage, " I said, "I am cold. " And Atkinsonand McGreggor arranged my cushion and rugs for me, Augustus uneasilywatching the platform meanwhile. 

Two of the men who had been at Harley passed, and, seeing me, came upand spoke. They were going to Myrlton, too, I found. 

"Why don't you get in here?" I said, graciously, to the funny one theyhad called "Billy, " and whose other name I had never grasped. "It isso dull to travel alone with one's husband. "

He got in and sat opposite me. We talked merrily. 

"Why don't you get in, Gurrage?" he said, "It is horribly cold withthe door open. "

Augustus is not clever under these circumstances. He has no_sang-froid_, and is inclined to become ill-tempered. 

At the last moment, before the train started, Lady Grenellen tore downthe platform. Augustus rushed to meet her, and the guard slammed ourdoor. 

Whether they had got in somewhere else we should not know until wearrived at Rugby Junction, where we were to change onto a branch line. I used the whole force of my will to put the matter out of my head. Itold myself the doings of Augustus were nothing to me, and henceforthshould not concern me in any way. 

At last I succeeded in being quite able to enjoy my companion'sconversation. 

At Rugby we had a quarter of an hour to wait. Nothing of the othercouple was to be seen. Apparently they must have missed the train, after all. 

A few moments before the branch train started a special dashed intothe station, and out got Lady Grenellen and Augustus. She was lookingmost radiant and lovely, but Augustus had an expression of unease andself-consciousness as he greeted us. 

"Was it not too provoking, just missing the train, " Lady Grenellensaid, laughing. "Mr. Gurrage insisted upon having a special. Such amercy he was there, as I could not possibly have afforded one. "

This was the first time she had acknowledged my existence. Mr. Billychaffed Augustus, and we all got into a saloon carriage together. Ithad been engaged by the Duke, and four or five people were alreadyseated in it. They appeared all to be friends of Lady Grenellen's, andshe was soon the soul of the party, laughing and telling of her mishapabout the train, her white teeth gleaming and her rouge-pink cheeksglowing like a peach. No one could be more attractive, and I ceasedto blame Augustus, I could understand a man, if this lovely creaturelooked at him with eyes of favor, giving up any one, or committing anyfolly, for her sake. 

Apparently, for the moment, she had finished with Augustus, forshe snubbed him sharply once or twice, and finally retired with abeautiful young man into the compartment beyond, kissing her hand tothe rest as she went through the door. 

"I am going to talk business with Luffy till we get to Myrlton, " shesaid. 

A savage look stamped itself upon Augustus's face. Would he vent hisanger on her, presently, or should I be the recipient of it? Timewould show. 

Myrlton is a glorious place, hundreds and hundreds of years old, and full of traditions and ghosts, with a real draw-bridge and hugebaronial hall, with the raised part, where they eat above the salt inby-gone days. Everything is rather shabby and stiffly arranged, and, except in the Duke's own special rooms, it looks as if no woman hadbeen there for years. 

The Duke is a perfect host. He seemed delighted to see me, and soonlet me know that his only interest in the party was on account of mypresence among them. I felt soothed and flattered. 

Lady Grenellen was in tearing spirits. 

"Berty, I have got her, " she laughed, as she deliberately drew achair, and divided the Duke and me, who were sitting a little apart. 

"She isn't at all bad, and I have asked her and her aunt to come hereto-morrow, " she continued. "I told them I was giving the party, andthat they should be my guests. The aunt knows what for, and I expectthe girl, too. She has at least fifty thousand a year. But she isAmerican. There was nothing in the English market rich enough. Apaltry ten thousand would be no use to you. "

"Oh, Cordelia, I told you I would not have an American, " said theDuke, reproachfully. "Think how jumpy they are, and I can't explain toher that I simply want her to stay at home and have lots of childrenand do the house up. "

"Oh yes, you can. She is from the West, and a country-girl, and, Iassure you, those Americans are quite accustomed to make a bargain. You can settle everything of that sort with the aunt. "

"Mercifully, Margaret Tilchester is arriving to-morrow, too, " sighedthe Duke. "She has such admirable judgment. I shall be able to relyupon her. "

"Ungrateful boy!" laughed Lady Grenellen. "After the trouble I havetaken to get her, too. Now I am going to have a sleep before dinner. By-bye. " And she sauntered off, accompanied by the beautiful youngman. 

Augustus stood biting the ends of his stubbly mustache. 

No one had to bother about what the other people were doing here. Theguests did not sit round waiting to be entertained; they all seemedperfectly at home, and did what they pleased. 

The party was not large, but quite delightfully composed. I felt Ishould enjoy my evening. Before going down to dinner, Augustus cameinto my room. He hoped, he said, that I had some jewels on. 

My appearance pleased him. He came up and kissed me. I could not speakto him, as McGreggor was in the room, and afterwards it seemed toolate. Should I leave the affair in silence? Oh, if I had some one toadvise me!--Lady Tilchester, perhaps. And yet how, so soon after mymarriage, could I say to her: "My husband pays for another woman'sclothes, and is, I suppose, her lover. But beyond the insult of thecase, the disgust and contempt it fills me with, I am not hurt a bit, and am only thankful for anything that keeps him away from me. " Whatwould she think? Would she understand, because of Lord Tilchesterand Babykins, or would it, being so soon, shock her? I wish I knew. Perhaps it is as my mother-in-law said, and I am not a flesh-and-bloodwoman. 

Early next day--they had come by the Scotch mail--Lord and LadyTilchester arrived with Babykins. 

Most of the men were out shooting but the Duke and the beautiful youngman (his name is Lord Luffton), who had stayed behind to take care ofus, they said. 

Lady Grenellen appeared just before lunch. 

"I have ordered a brougham to meet the one-thirty train, Berty, " shesaid, "to bring my Americans up. They will be here in a minute. Comeinto the hall with me to receive them. "

The Duke accompanied her reluctantly. 

"It would be as well to know their name, " he said, as he saunteredafter her trailing skirts. 

"Cadwallader--Miss Martina B. Cadwallader--that is the aunt, andMiss Corrisande K. Trumpet--that is the niece, " said Lady Grenellen, stalking ahead. 

The windows of the long gallery where we were all sitting looked ontothe court-yard, and two flys passed the angle of the turret. 

"Look at the luggage!" exclaimed Babykins, and we all went to thewindow. 

There was, indeed, a wonderful collection--both flys laden withenormous, iron-bound trunks as big as hen-houses. A pair of smartFrench maids seemed buried beneath them. 

The entire party of us burned with curiosity to see the owners, butlong before they appeared we were conscious of their presence. 

Two of the most highly pitched American voices I have ever heardwere saying civil things to our host and Lady Grenellen. More highlypitched than Hephzibah's, and that is the highest, I thought, therecould be in the world. 

"She is awfully good-looking, " whispered Babykins, who caught sightof them first as they came through the hall. 

The aunt walked in front with Lady Grenellen, a tall woman witha keen, dark face of the red Indian type, with pure white hair, beautifully done, and a perfect dignity of carriage. 

The heiress followed with the Duke. She is small and plump andfeminine-looking, with the sweetest dimpled face and great browneyes. Both were exquisitely dressed and carried little bags at theirwaists. Their manner had complete assurance, without a trace ofself-consciousness. 

Lady Grenellen had told us all their history. Not a possible drop ofblood bluer than a navvy's could circulate in their veins, and yettheir wrists were fine, their heads were small, and their generalappearance was that of gentlewomen. 

I seemed to see pictures and sounds of my earliest childhood as theyspoke, I took to them at once. 

Following the English custom, Lady Grenellen did not introduce themto any one but Babykins, who happened to step forward, and we allproceeded to lunch, which was laid at small, round tables. 

The Duke wore an air of comic distress. His eyebrows were raised asthough trying to understand a foreign language. 

I sat with Lady Tilchester at another table, and we could not hearmost of their conversation, only the sentences of the American ladies, and they sounded like some one talking down the telephone in one ofthe plays I saw in Paris. You only heard one side, not the answersback. 

"Why, this is a real castle!" "You don't say!" "Yes, beheaded in thehall. " "Miss Trumpet has all the statistics. She read them in theguide-book coming along. " "I calculate she knows more about yourfamily history, Dook, than you know yourself, " etc. , etc. 

"What a pity they have voices like that!" exclaimed Lady Tilchester. "I know Berty will be put off, he is so ridiculously fastidious, andit is absolutely necessary that he should marry an heiress. "

"The niece is young. Perhaps hers could be softened, " I said. "She isso pretty, too. "

Lady Tilchester looked at me suddenly. She had not listened to what Isaid. 

"Oh, dear Mrs. Gurrage, you will help us to secure this girl? I askyou frankly, because, of course, the Duke is in love with you, and henaturally would not be impressed with Miss Trumpet. "

I should have been angry if any one else had said this. But there issomething so adorable about Lady Tilchester she can say anything. 

"You are quite mistaken. I have only seen the Duke at your house, "I said, smiling, "and a man cannot get in love on so short anacquaintance, can he?--besides, my being only just married. "

"I suppose you have not an idea how beautiful you are, dear, " shesaid, kindly. "Much as I like you, I almost wish you were not stayinghere now. "

"I promise I will do my best to encourage the Duke to marry MissTrumpet, if you wish it, " I said, "I think he knows it is a necessityfrom what he said to me. "

"Then I shall carry you up-stairs this afternoon out of harm'sway, " she said, with her exquisite smile. "Berty always gives me adear little sitting-room next my room, and we can have a regularschool-girls' chat over the fire. "

Nothing could have pleased me better. I would rather talk to thisdear lady than any Duke in the world. 

After lunch some introductions were gone through. 

"Now I am proud to be presented to you, " said the aunt to LadyTilchester, with perfect composure. "We have heard a great deal ofyou in our country, and my niece, Miss Trumpet, has always had thegreatest admiration for your photograph. "

The niece, meanwhile, talked to me. 

There is something so fresh and engaging about her that in a fewmoments one almost forgot her terrible voice. 

"Why, it does seem strange, " she said, "with the veneration we have inAmerica for really old things, to hear the Duke" (she does not quitesay Dook, like the aunt. It sounds more like Juke) "call this castlean old 'stone-heap. ' I am just longing to see the place his ancestorwas beheaded upon in May, 1485. The Duke hardly seems to know aboutit, but I have been led to expect, from the guide-book, that I shouldsee the blood on the stones. "

The beautiful young man, Lord Luffton, now engaged her inconversation, and as Lady Tilchester and I left the hall both he andthe Duke were escorting Miss Trumpet to the dais--no doubt to turn upthe carpet and search for the traditional blood upon the steps. 

"They are the most wonderful nation, " Lady Tilchester said, as shelinked her arm in mine. "Here is a girl looking as well bred as anyof us--more so than most of us--probably beautifully educated, andaccomplished, too, and whose father began as a common navvy or minerout in the West. The mother is dead--she took in washing, Cordeliasays--and yet she was the sister of Miss Martina B. Cadwallader! Howon earth do they manage to look like this?"

"It is wonderful, certainly. It must be the climate, " I hazarded. 

"We cannot do it in England. Think of the terrible creature a girlwith such parentage would be here. Picture her ankles and hands! Andthe self-consciousness, or the swagger, this situation would display!"

I thought of Mrs. Dodd and the Gurrage commercial relations generally. 

"Yes, _indeed_, " I said. 

"They are so adaptable, " she continued. "It does not seem to matterinto what nation they marry, they seem to assimilate and fit intotheir places. When this little thing is a duchess, you will see shewill fulfil the position to a tee. Berty will be very lucky if hesecures her. "

"I think Lord Luffton will be a much greater stumbling-block than Ishall, " I laughed. "Perhaps he likes the idea of fifty thousand ayear, too. "

"Oh, Cordelia will see about that. Babykins, who knows everything, tells me she has fallen wildly in love with Luffy. He has only arrivedback from the war about a week. And she will not let any other womaninterfere with her. I had heard another story about her in Scotland. They told me she was having an affair with some"--she stoppedsuddenly, no doubt remembering to whom she was talking--"foreigner. "She ended the sentence with perfect tact. 

The little sitting-room is in a turret and is octagon-shaped, adainty, charming, old-world room that grandmamma might have lived in. 

We drew two chairs up to the fire and sat down cosily. 

How kind and gracious and altogether charming this woman can be! AgainI can only compare her to the sun's rays, so warm and comfortable shemakes one feel. There is a nobleness and a loftiness about her whichcauses even ordinary things she says to sound like fine sentiments. Nowonder Mr. Budge adores her. 

We spoke very little of people. She told me of her interests and allthe schemes to benefit mankind she has in hand. At last she said:

"You have not been to Dane Mount yet, have you?"

"No. We are going there on Monday, after we leave here. "

"It will interest you deeply, I am sure. " And she looked into thefire. "Antony stayed with you, did he not?"

"Yes, " I said, and my voice sounded strained, remembering thatterrible visit. 

She was silent for a few moments. 

"I want you to be friends with me, dear, " she said, so gently. "Youare, perhaps, not always quite happy, and if ever I can do anythingfor you I want you to know I will. "

"Oh, dear Lady Tilchester, " I said, "you have been so kind and good tome already I shall never forget it. And I am a stranger, too, and yetyou have troubled about me. "

"I liked you from the first moment we met, at the Tilchester ball. And Antony is so interested in you, and we are such dear old friendsI should always be prejudiced in favor of any one he thought worthliking. "

There were numbers of things I wished to ask her, but somehowmy tongue felt tied. It was almost a relief when she turned theconversation. 

Soon the daylight faded and the servants brought lamps. 

"It is almost five, " she said, at last "What a happy afternoon we havehad! I know you ever so much better now, dear. Well, I suppose thetime has come to put on tea-gowns and descend to see how affairs areprogressing. "

I rose. 

"I am going to call you Ambrosine, " she said, and she kissed me. "Iam not given to sudden friendships, but there is something aboutyour eyes that touches me. Oh, dear, I hope fate will not force youto commit some mid-summer madness, as I did, to regret to the end ofyour days!"

All the way to my room her words puzzled me. What could she mean?

XII

The scene was picturesque and pretty as I looked at it from thegallery that crosses the hall. 

Tea was laid out on a large, low table, with plates and jam and cakesand muffins--a nice, comfortable, substantial meal. A fire of wholelogs burned in the colossal, open chimney. The huge, heavily shadedlamps concentrated all the light beneath them, viewed from above. 

And like a group of summer-flowers the women, in their light andfluffy tea-gowns, added the touch of grace to the heavy darkness ofthe old stone walls. I paused a while and watched them. 

Lady Grenellen, gorgeous as a sultana, seemed to have collected allthe cushions to enhance her comfort as she lay back in a low, deepsofa. Augustus sat beside her. From here one could not see hisugliness, and the dark claret color of his smoking-suit rather set offher gown. She had the most alluring expression upon her face, whichjust caught the light. His attitude was humble. The storm, for thepresent, was over between them. 

Two other women, the heiress, Babykins, and Lord Tilchester, andseveral young men sat round the table like children eating theirbread-and-jam. 

The Duke and Miss Martina B. Cadwallader were examining the armor. Some one was playing the piano softly. Merry laughter floated upward. I doubt if any other country could produce such a scene. It would havepleased grandmamma. 

"Why, by the stars and stripes, there is a ghost in the gallery!"exclaimed Miss Corrisande K. Trumpet, pointing to me. The faintglimmer of my white velvet tea-gown must have caught her eyes as Imoved away. 

"No, I am not a ghost, " I called, "and I am coming down to eat hotmuffins. " So I crossed and descended the turret stairs. 

Lady Tilchester had not appeared yet. 

I sat down at the table next "Billy. " It was all so gay and friendlyno one could feel depressed. 

Viewed close, Miss Trumpet was, for her age, too splendidly attired. She looked prettier in her simple travelling-dress. But her spiritsand her repartee left nothing to be desired. She kept us all amused, and, whether Lady Grenellen would eventually permit it or no, LordLuffton seemed immensely _épris_ with her now. 

There was only one other girl at the table, Lady Agatha de Champion, and her slouching, stooping figure and fuzzled hair did not show toadvantage beside the heiress's upright, rounded shape and well-brushedwaves. 

"Where have you been all the afternoon?" demanded the Duke, reproachfully, over my shoulder. "I searched everywhere down-stairs, and finally sent to your room, but your maid knew nothing of you. "

"I have been sitting with Lady Tilchester in her sitting-room, " Isaid, smiling. 

"Here comes Margaret. She shall answer to me for kidnapping my guestslike this. " And he went forward to meet her. 

"Do not scold me, " said Lady Tilchester, as she returned with him. "I think Mrs. Gurrage will tell you we have spent a very pleasantafternoon. "

"Indeed, yes, " I said. 

"And I mean to spend a pleasant evening, " he whispered, low, to me. "As soon as you have eaten that horrid muffin I shall carry you offto see my pictures. "

I looked at Lady Tilchester. What would she wish me to do?

"Impress upon him the necessity of being charming to the heiress. You were quite right. He has a serious rival, " she whispered, and wewalked off. 

The Duke can be agreeable in his unattractive, lackadaisical way. He is so full of information, not of the statistical kind like MissTrumpet, but the result of immense cultivation. 

"What do you think of my heiress?" he said, at last, as we pausedbeneath a Tintoretto. I said everything suitable and encouraging Icould think of. 

"I am quite pleased with her, " he allowed, "but I fear she will notbe content with the rôle I had planned out for my Duchess. She istoo individual. I feel it is I who would subside and attend to thenurseries and the spring cleaning. However, I mean to go through withit, although I am in a hideous position, because, you know, I amfalling very deeply in love with you. "

"How inconvenient for you!"' I said, smiling. "But please do not letthat interfere with your prospects. You must attend to the subject ofpleasing the heiress, as I see great signs of Lord Luffton cutting theground from under your feet. "

He stared at me incredulously. 

"Luffy!" he said, aghast. "Oh, but Cordelia would take care of that. He is her friend. "

"Oh, how you amuse me, all of you, " I said, laughing, "with your lovesand your jealousies and your little arrangements! Every one two andtwo; every one with a 'friend. '"

"Anyway, we are not wearyingly faithful. "

"No; but to a stranger you ought to issue a kind ofguide-book--'Trespassers will be prosecuted' here, 'A change wouldbe welcomed' there, etc. "

"'Pon my word new editions would have to come out every three months, then. In the space of a year you would find a general shuffle hadtaken place. "

"Shall you let your Duchess have a 'friend'?" I asked. 

He mused a little. 

"Could I have found my cow brewer's daughter, she would have been toovirtuously middle class to have thought of such a thing. And if I takethis American--well, the Americans are so new a nation they have stilla moral sense. So I think I am pretty safe. "

"Old nations are deficient in this quality, then?"

"Yes. Artificial things are more worn out, and they get back nearerto nature. "

"But you would object to a 'friend'?"

"Considerably, until the succession was firmly secured. After that, I suppose, my Duchess might please herself. She probably would, too, without consulting me. You don't see the whole of your neighborseating cake and remain content with your own monotonousbread-and-butter. "

This appeared to be very true. He continued in a meditative way:

"Because a few what we call civilized nations have set up a standardof morality for themselves, that does not change the ways of humannature. What we call morality has no existence in the natural world. "

"Why should the respectable middle-class brewer's daughter have sostrong a sense of it, then?" I asked. 

"Because propriety is their god from one generation to another. Youcan almost overcome nature with a god sometimes. Babykins has a theorythat the food we eat makes a difference in the ways of our class, butI don't believe that. It is because we hunt and shoot and live livesof inclination, not compulsion, like the middle classes, and so we getback nearer to nature. "

"You are a sophist, I fear, " I said, smiling. "See, here is MissMartina B. Cadwallader advancing upon us. Stern virtue is on everyline of her face, anyway!"

"Pardon me, Dook, " she said, "but the guide to Myrlton I purchased atthe station gave me to understand I should find a second portrait ofQueen Elizabeth in this gallery. I cannot see it. Would you be goodenough to indicate the picture to me?"

"Oh, that was a duplicate, " said the Duke, resignedly. "I sold it atChristie's last year. It brought me in ten thousand pounds--more thanit was worth. I lived in comfort upon it for quite six months. "

"You don't say!" said Martina B. Cadwallader. 

Before the party said good-night, the meanest observer could have toldthat things were going at sixes and sevens, no one doing exactly whatwas expected of them. 

Signs of disturbance showed as early as the few minutes before dinner. 

Lord Luffton was openly seeking the society of the heiress, with noregard to the blandishments of Lady Grenellen. But by half-past eleventhe clouds had spread all round. 

Augustus, perhaps, looked the most upset. He had spent an evening onthorns of jealousy. First, snubbed sharply by the fair Cordelia; then, having to witness her ineffectual attempts to detach Lord Luffton fromMiss Trumpet. 

The Duke, while devoting himself to me, could not quite conceal hisannoyance at the turn affairs were taking. 

Miss Martina B. Cadwallader was plainly irritated with her niece fornot attending to the business they had come for. Babykins was exertingher mosquito propensities and stinging every one all round. In fact, only the few casual guests, who did not count one way or another, seemed calm and undisturbed. 

"It is really provoking, " Lady Tilchester said to me. "What on earthdid they ask Luffy here for? He is noted for this sort of thing, and, of course, posing as a war hero adds an extra lustre to his charms. "

The only two people supremely unconscious of delinquencies were thecauses of all the trouble--Lord Luffton and Miss Trumpet. 

They had gone off to look at the pictures in the long gallery, andat twenty minutes to twelve were nowhere to be seen. 

Lady Glenellen's eyes flashed ominously. 

"Let us go to bed, " she said. "Betty, why don't you have the lightsturned out?"

Fortunately the aunt did not hear this remark. As her face showed, shewas quite capable of a sharp reply to anything, and though, no doubt, annoyed with the niece, would certainly defend her. 

"We had better go and look for them, " said the Duke. 

"Perhaps they have fallen down the oubliette, " suggested Babykins. 

"You don't tell me there is danger?" demanded Miss Martina B. Cadwallader, anxiously, "On this trip I am answerable to her poppafor Corrisande's safety. "

We started, more or less in a body, towards the gallery, LadyTilchester, with her usual tact, stopping to point out any notablepicture or tapestry to the aunt on the way, so that the search shouldnot look too pointed. 

In the farthest corner, perched on a high window-seat--that musthave required a knowledge of vaulting to reach--sat the guilty pair, dangling their feet. Anything more engaging than Miss Trumpet lookedcould not be imagined. The tiniest pink satin slippers peeped outof billows of exquisite _dessous_. Her little face seemed a mass ofdimpling smiles. Not a trace of embarrassment appeared in her manner. 

"I say, Duke, " she called, "you have got a sweet place here. We havebeen watching for the monk to pass, but he has not come yet. "

The Duke stepped forward to help her down. 

"Don't you trouble, " she said. "Why, we had a gymnasium at theconvent. I can jump. "

Lady Grenellen now appeared upon the scene. She looked like an angrycat. I turned, with Lady Tilchester, and left the rest of the party. What happened I do not know, but when they joined us all in the hallagain the heiress was with the Duke, Lord Luffton walked alone, whileAugustus, once more beaming, was close to Lady Grenellen's side. So itis an ill wind that blows no one any good. 

Next day, after a delightful shooting-lunch and a brisk walk back, theheiress came to my room and talked to me. 

She had apparently taken a great fancy to me, and we had had severalconversations. 

"I don't know why, but you give me the impression that you are astranger, too, like Aunt Martina and me, " she said. "You don't look atall like the rest of the Englishwomen. Why, your back is not nearly solong. I could almost take you for an American, you are so _chic_. "

I laughed. 

"Even Lady Tilchester, who is by far the nicest and grandest of them, does not look such an aristocrat as you do. "

(Miss Trumpet pronounces it _arrist_-tocrat. )

"I assure you, I am a very ordinary person, " I said. "But you areright, I am a stranger, too. "

"Now I am glad to hear that, " said Miss Trumpet, beginning to polishher nails with my polisher, which was lying on the dressing-table. "Because then I can talk to you. You know I have come here to samplethe Duke. Poppa is so set on the idea of my being a duchess. But itseems to me, if you are going to buy a husband, you might as well buythe one you like best. Don't you think so?"

"I entirely agree with you, " I said, feelingly. "You would probably behappier with the one you prefer, even if he were only a humble baron. "And I smiled at her slyly. 

"Now that is just what I wanted to ask you about. But if I took LordLuffton, instead of the Duke, should I have to walk a long way behindat the Coronation next year?"

"I am afraid you would, " I said. 

She looked puzzled and undecided. 

"That is worrying me, " she said. "As for the men themselves--well, wedon't think so much of them over in America as you do here. It is nowonder Englishmen are so full of assurance, the way they are treated. You would never find an American woman showing a man she was madlyjealous of him, like Lady Grenellen did last night. Why, we keep themin their places across the Atlantic. "

"So I have heard, " I said. 

"I have been accustomed to be run after all my life, " she continued, "so it does not amount to anything, a man making love to me. But he isbeautiful, isn't he?--Lord Luffton, I mean. "

"Yes, though he has the reputation of great fickleness. The Duke wouldprobably make a better husband, " I said. 

I felt I owed it to Lady Tilchester to do something towards advancingthe cause. 

"Oh, as for that, a man always makes a good enough husband if youhave the control of the dollars, and poppa would see to that, " saidMiss Trumpet. 

This seemed so true I had nothing to say. 

"Now, I will tell you, " she continued, examining her nails, whichshone as bright as glass. "I have got a kind of soft feeling for thatBaron, but I would like to be an English duchess. Now, which would youtake, if you were me?"

"Oh, I could not possibly advise you, " I said. "You must weigh theadvantages, and your level head will be sure to choose for the best. "

"The position of an English duchess is splendid, though, isn't it? AnItalian duke came over last fall, and poppa thought of him for abouta day. But there is the bother of a foreign language, and all theirsilly ways to learn, so I told poppa I would have an English one ormarry an American. It does seem a pity I can't have both the Baron andthe Duke!" and she laughed with girlish mirth. 

I thought of my conversation the night before, and wondered. 

 * * * * *

That evening the Duke, also, made me confidences. 

He was immensely taken with Miss Trumpet, he allowed, and could almostlook upon the matter as a pleasure instead of a duty now. 

"If you had shown the slightest sign that you would ever care forme, I should not have thought of her, though, " he said. "You will besorry, one day, that you are as cold as ice. "

"Why should a person be accused of having no musical sense because oneparticular tune does not cause one rhapsodies?" I asked. "The one ideaof a man seems to be, if a woman does not adore him personally, it isbecause she is as cold as ice. Surely that is illogical. "

He looked at me very straightly for a moment. 

"I believe you do care for some one, " he said. "I shall watch andsee. "

"Very well, " I laughed. 

None of the people I have met since my marriage have seemed to thinkit possible that I should care for Augustus, or that my wedding-ringshould be the slightest bar to my feelings or their advances. 

"You are a dangerously attractive woman, you know--one's idea of whata lady ought to look like. And you move with a grace one never seesnow. And your eyes--your eyes are the eyes of the Sphinx. I fancy, ifI could make you care, I would forget all the world. I am glad you aregoing to-morrow. "

"I understood you to say you were greatly attracted by Miss Trumpet, "I said, demurely. 

And so the evening passed. 

"I think it is going all right, " Lady Tilchester said to me as wewalked up-stairs together. "They are making arrangements to meet inLondon, and Luffy has not been asked to join the theatre-party. "

"No. He is going to lunch and to take them to skate, " I said. 

"Oh, the clever girl!" and she laughed. "But I expect she will decideto be a duchess, in the end. "

"If you could tell her anything especially splendid about her positionat the Coronation next year, should she accept the Duke, I am sure itwould have an effect. "

"Cordelia is behaving like a fool about it. She asked them here, andmade all the arrangements, and now is absolutely uncivil to them. "

"How flattered Lord Luffton ought to be!" I laughed. 

"Yes, if it were any one else; but Cordelia has too many fancies. How glad one should be that one has other interests in life! Really, when I look round at most of my friends, I feel thankful. Perhaps, otherwise, I should have been as they are. "

Augustus had greatly profited by Lord Luffton's defection. Whether itwas to make the latter jealous, I do not know, but Lady Grenellen hadbeen remarkably gracious to him all the evening. 

I learned, casually, that she was to be the fourth at Dane Mount. 

"We shall be such a little party, " she said. "Only myself and you andyour husband. I asked Antony to take me in, as it is on the road toHeadbrook, where I go the next day, I thought he was having a largeparty, though. "

I wished she was not going; there seemed something degrading aboutthe arrangement. 

I had not let myself think of this visit. And now it would be the daybut one after to-morrow!

A strange restlessness and excitement took possession of me. I couldnot sleep. 

It was a raw, foggy morning when we all left Myrlton. The Dukeaccompanied us to London, and we were a merry party in the train, in spite of eight of us playing bridge. 

Augustus told me he had business in town, and would stay the nightand over Sunday, arriving at Dane Mount by the four-o'clock train onMonday. 

"If you leave home at three, in the motor, " he said, "we shall getthere exactly at the same time. "

And so I returned to Ledstone alone. 

XIII

The fog was white round the windows as I came down to my solitarybreakfast on the 4th. My heart sank. What if it should be too thickfor me to start? I could not bear to think of the disappointment thatwould be. 

I forced myself to practise for an hour after breakfast. Then I wrotea long letter to the Marquis de Rochermont. Then I looked again at mywatch and again at the fog. I should start at half-past two, to giveplenty of time, as we should certainly have to go slowly. 

At last, at last, luncheon came. I never felt less hungry, nor had theservants ever appeared so pompous and slow. It seemed as if it couldnever be half-past two. 

However, it struck eventually, and the automobile came round to thedoor. 

For the first five miles the fog was very thick. We had to creepalong. Then it lifted a little, then fell again. But at half-pastfour we turned into the lodge-gates. I could see nothing in front ofme. The trees seemed like gaunt ghosts, with the mist and the dyingdaylight. The drive across the park and up the long avenue was fraughtwith difficulty. Even when we arrived I could see nothing but thebright lights from the windows. But as the door was thrown open, I realised that Antony was standing there against the flood ofbrightness. 

I seem always to be saying my heart beats, but there is no other wayof describing the extraordinary and unusual physical sensation thathappens to me when I meet this man. 

"Welcome!" he said, as he helped me out of the automobile. "Welcometo Dane Mount!"

A broad corridor, full of trophies of the chase and armor and carvedoak, leads to a splendid hall, high to the top of the house, with agreat staircase and galleries running round. It is hung with tapestryand pictures, and full of old and beautiful furniture. 

Three huge, rough-coated hounds lay on the lion-skin before the fire. They rose, haughtily, to greet me. 

"Ulfus, Belfus, and Bedevere, come and be introduced to a fair lady, "said Antony. "You can be quite civil, she is of the family. "

The dogs came forward. 

"What darlings!" I said, patted them all. They received the caresseswith dignity, and, without gush, made me understand they were glad tosee me. 

Then we said some _banal_ things to each other--Antony and I--aboutthe fog and the difficulty of getting here and the length of thedrive. 

I did not look at him much. I felt excited and awkward--and happy. 

"I am not going to let you stay here a minute in those damp things, "he said. "I shall give you into the hands of Mrs. Harrison, myhousekeeper, to take you to your room. When you have got into atea-gown, you will find me here again. " And he rang the bell. 

Grandmamma would have approved of Mrs. Harrison when she appeared. Sheis like the housekeepers one reads of in books--stately and plump, andclothed in black silk, with a fat, gold-and-cameo brooch fastening aneat cambric collar. 

She conducted me up the staircase and into the most exquisite bedroomI have ever dreamed of in my life. 

It is white, and panelled, and full of really old and beautifulFrench furniture. Everything is in keeping, even to the locks on thedoors and the bell-ropes. How grandmamma would have appreciated this!And the fineness of the linen, and the softness of the pillows andsofa-cushions! And everywhere great bowls of roses--my favoriteflower. Roses in November!

"Oh, what a lovely room!" I exclaimed, as I went round and looked ateverything. 

"It is pretty, ma'am. It has only just been arranged, " said Mrs. Harrison, much gratified. "Sir Antony bid me ask you to order anythingyou can possibly want. "

Then she indicated which bell rang into my maid's room and which forthe house-maids, and with a few more polite wishes for my comfort, andthe information that the room prepared for Augustus was some way downthe corridor, on the right, she left me in McGreggor's hands. 

With great promptness the luggage had been carried up, so I was notlong getting into a tea-gown. 

Augustus and Lady Grenellen would have arrived by the time I got downto the hall again. They ought to have been here before me, but nodoubt the train was late. 

The soft _crêpe de chine_ of my skirts made no _frou-frou_. Antonydid not see me as I looked over the bend of the stairs descending; hewas staring into the fire, an expression I have never seen before onhis face. 

I stopped. Presently he looked up. 

"How silently you came, Comtesse! I did not hear you. "

"You were thinking deeply. Upon what grave matters of state?"

"None at all. Do you know Lady Grenellen and your husband have notarrived? The brougham has with difficulty returned from the stationafter waiting until the train was in, and there was no sign of them. "

A joy, unbidden and instantly suppressed, pervaded me as he spoke. 

"Perhaps they missed the train and will catch the next, " I hazarded. 

"The fog in London is quite exceptional, the guard said. I have givenorders for the coachman to return and try for the next train. It getsin at 6:42. After that there is one at 7, and the last one is at10:18. But they will probably telegraph. "

"It makes me laugh, " I said. 

"Come and have tea. We shall not bother our heads about them. Theyare, fortunately, well able to take care of themselves. "

Antony led the way to the library, where the tea was laid out. 

I never have sat in such a comfortable sofa or felt more cosily athome. Everything pleased me. All is in perfect taste. 

Antony talked to me gayly as he gave me some tea. It was as if hewanted to remove the least feeling of awkwardness this unusualsituation might possibly cause me to feel. 

Ulfus, Belfus, and Bedevere had followed us, and now lay, like threegrim guardians, upon the tiger-skin hearth-rug. 

"How is your arm?" I asked. 

"Oh, that is all right. I had the shot taken out and it has quitehealed up. Wonderful escape we had that day!" And he laughed. 

"And you were so good about it! Augustus said he would have shot backif Mr. Dodd had hit him. "

"Mrs. Dodd would have made a nice target. One does not often comeacross a person like that. Are all your guests at Ledstone of thesame sort as those I met?"

"No. Some of them are worse, " I replied, gravely, smiling at him. "Next time you shall come to an earlier party. You would enjoythat. " And I laughed, thinking of the first batch of relations wehad entertained. 

"I will come whenever you ask me, " he said, quite simply. 

"No. You know I would never ask you again, if I could help it. Oh, you were so kind, but it--" I stopped. I did not know how to say whatI meant. I had better not have said so much. 

"I don't want you to have that feeling. It amuses me to come, Comtesse, only you feed one too well. Do you remember how I drankeverything I could get hold of, to please you?"

"You were ridiculous!" And I laughed. 

"I thought I was heroic. " Then, in another voice: "I think you musthave that boudoir altered a little, you know, before long. I can't sayI found your sofa comfortable. "

"Not like this. " And I lay back luxuriously. 

"I generally choose things with a reason, if I can. "

"That sounds like one of grandmamma's speeches. " Then I stupidlyblushed, remembering, apropos of what she had said, almost the samething. It was when she accepted Mrs. Gurrage's invitation to the ball, where she calculated I should meet Antony. That was before she had thefainting-fit. I stared into the fire. What would have happened by now, if she could have carried out that plan--the "suitable and happy"arrangement of my future!

"Comtesse, why do you stop suddenly and blush, and then stare into thefire? Your grandmother was not, I am sure, in the habit of saying suchstartling things as to cause you such emotions. "

I looked up at him. I suppose my eyes were troubled, for he said, sogently:

"Dear little girl, I won't tease you. Tell me, have you read any morebooks on philosophy lately?"

I drank the last sip of my tea, and held out my cup. It was nice tea. 

"No, I have not had time to read anything. There, you can take mycup. You have such pretty things here. Everything is suitable, and itgives me pleasure. I don't feel philosophical; I feel genuine humanenjoyment. "

"That is good to know. Well, we won't be philosophical, then, we willbe humanly happy, " and he sat down beside me. 

I took up, idly, a little book that was lying on a table near, becausemy silly heart had begun to beat again, like Lydia Languish or anyvaporish young lady in an early romance. I looked at the title andAntony looked at me. I read it over without taking in the sense, andthen the name arrested my attention. 

"_A Digit of the Moon_, " I said, "What a queer title!"

"What long eyelashes you have, Comtesse!" said Antony, apropos ofnothing. "They make a great shadow on your cheek, and they have nobusiness to be so dark, with your light, mud-colored hair. "

"How rude, to call my hair mud-colored!" I said, indignantly, "Ialways thought it _blond cendré_. "

"So it is, and it shines like burnished metal. But you are a vainlittle thing, I expect, and I did not wish to encourage you. "

His voice was full of a caress. I did not dare to look into his queercat's eyes. 

"You have black eyelashes yourself, and as I am of the family, why mayI not have them too?" I said, pouting. 

"Of course you can have them or anything else you wish, to oblige you. But I should rather like to know how long your hair is when you let itdown. You look as if you had a great quantity there, but probably itis not all your own. " And he smiled provokingly. 

"If I was not afraid of the servants coming in I would undo it to showyou, " I replied, with great indignation and a sadden feeling that I, too, could tease. "I never heard anything so insulting!"

"My servants are well trained. It is not six o'clock yet. They won'tcome in until half-past six, unless I ring. You have plenty of time. "

A spirit of _coquetterie_ came over me for the first time in my life. I took out the two great tortoise-shell pins that held it up, and letmy hair tumble down around me. It falls in heavy waves nearly to myknees. 

"That is perfectly beautiful!" said Antony, almost reverently. "Iapologize. It is your own. "

I got up and shook it out and stood before him. It hung all roundme like a cloak. Oh, I was in a wicked mood, and I do not defend myconduct. 

"Comtesse, " he said, and his eyes swam, "fiendish little temptress, put up that hair. And come, I will tell you about _A Digit of theMoon_. "

I pretended to feel greatly snubbed, and in a minute had twisted itto my head again. 

"It is a queer title, " I said. 

Antony talked a little faster than usual. It seemed as if he wasbreathing rather quickly. 

"I shall give you this book. It only came out last year. I think it isone of the most delightful things that ever was written. You must readit carefully. " And he put it into my hand. "The description, in thebeginning, of the ingredients which God used to create woman is quiteexquisite. Listen, I will read it to you. " And he took the book again. 

His voice is the most refined and the tones are deep. One cannot saywhat quality there is in some voices and pronunciation that makes themso attractive. If Antony were an ugly man he still would be alluringwith such a voice as his. I listened intently until the last word. 

"It is, indeed, a beautiful description, " I said. 

"You probably are all those things, Comtesse, except, perhaps, the'chattering of the monkeys. ' You don't speak much. "

"And do you feel like 'man'?"

"That I cannot do with you, or without you? Yes, especially the latterpart of the sentence. "

I got up from the sofa and looked about the room. It seemed as if wewere getting on dangerous ground. 

"How comfortable men make their habitations! And I like the smell, " Isaid, sniffing. "The pine-logs, I suppose. "

"And the cedar panelling, perhaps, scents the place a little when itgets hot. "

"You have thousands of books here. " And I looked round at the highshelves between the long windows. "And what a nice piano! How happyyou must be!"

"I should have been--and am sometimes, still, " he said. "The Duke hada good room, too, at Myrlton. "

I sat down on the sofa again. Antony had risen and leaned against themantel-piece. He was idly pulling the ears of Bedevere, who, sittingthere, reached up into his hand. I never could have imagined dogs sobig as are these three. 

"Of course you went to Myrlton. I had forgotten. The Duke made loveto you, I suppose?"

"Why should you suppose?"

"Because I saw signs of it at Harley. Don't you remember how I carriedyou off to the woods while he fetched your umbrella?"

I laughed. 

"Well, did he make love to you?"

"Why should you think any man would make love to me? It is ridiculous. You seem to forget I have only been married five months. Even in awell-bred world, where they have gone back to nature, they don't beginas soon as that, do they?"

"You are prevaricating. He did make love to you, then?"

"Lady Grenellen had brought an heiress there for him, and he was busywith her. "

"And you made it as difficult for him as possible to do his duty. Howheartless of you, Comtesse! I would not have believed it of you. "

His voice was more mocking than I had ever heard it. 

"I did nothing of the kind. "

"He is an agreeable fellow, Berty. "

"Full of information. "

"Superficial. "

"Possibly. "

Then our eyes met. 

"Comtesse, we are not here to talk about the Duke of Myrlshire inthese our few minutes of grace. The 6. 42 train will soon be in. " Andhe sat down again beside me. 

"What shall we talk about, then?" I asked, trying to keep my head. A maddening sensation of excitement made my voice sound strained. "First, I want to tell you how beautiful I find my room. If you hadknown my taste, and had it done to please me, you could not have foundanything I should like so much. "

"I did know your taste, and I had it done to please you. It is foryou. No one else shall ever sleep there, " he said, simply, and lookeddeep into my eyes. 

I had nothing to say. 

"I like to know there is a room for you in my house. I want everythingin it to be exactly as you desire. When you have time to look, Ithink you will find some agreeable books, and your old friends LaRochefoucauld, etc. But if there is a thing you want changed, it wouldgive me pleasure to change it. "

I was stupefied. I could not speak. 

"Over the mantel-piece is the little pastel by La Tour I told you Ibought last year. "

"Oh! it is good of you!" I managed to say. 

"I have at least the satisfaction of knowing that I please myselftoo if it gives you pleasure. I want you to feel there is one cornerin the world where you are really at home with the things that aresympathetic to you, so that whenever you will come over like this itwill give you a feeling of repose. "

"Oh! it is dear of you!"

"You said the other day, " he continued, "that I, at all events, wasnever serious, and I told you I would tell you that when you came hereto Dane Mount. Well, I tell you now--I am serious in this--that ifthere is anything in the world I can do to make you happy I will doit. "

"It makes me happy to know you understand--that there is some one ofmy kin. Oh! I have been very lonely since grandmamma died!"

He looked at me long, and we neither of us spoke. 

"It was a very cruel turn of fate that we did not meet this time lastyear, " he said at last. 

"Yes. "

"Comtesse, I want to make your life happier. I want to introduce youto several nice women I know. I shall have a big party next month. Will you come and stay again? Then you will gradually get a pleasantsociety round you, and you need not trouble about the Dodds and theSpringers--no, Springle was their name, wasn't it?"

"Yes. It is so kind of you, all this thought for me. Oh, Sir Antony, Ihave nothing to say!" I faltered. 

He frowned. 

"Do not call me _Sir_ Antony, child. It hurts me. You must notforget we are cousins. You are Ambrosine to me, or my dearest littleComtesse. "

The clock struck half-past six. The servants entered the room to takethe tea-things away, and while they were there a footman brought inthree telegrams, one for me and two for my host. 

Mine was from Augustus, and ran:

 "Hope you have arrived safely. Hear fog bad in country too. Impossible to get to Liverpool Street yet. Awfully worried at your being alone there. Shall come by last train. "

Antony handed the two others to me. One was from Lady Grenellen, theother from Augustus, both expressing their annoyance and regret. Thetelegrams were all sent off at the same hour from Piccadilly, soapparently they were together, my husband and his friend. 

"It is comic, " I said, "this situation! Augustus and Lady Grenellenfog-bound in London, and you and I here, it is the fault of none ofus. "

"I like a fog, " said Antony, with his old, whimsical smile, all traceof seriousness departed. "A good, useful thing, a fog. Hope it won'tlift in a hurry. "

"Now come and show me the ancestors, " I said. 

He led the way to the drawing-room--a great room, all painted white, too, and in each faded green-brocade panel hangs a picture. Theelectric lights are so arranged that each was perfectly illuminated. 

They were all interesting to me, especially the portraits of ourcommon ancestors. 

"That must be your grandfather's father, " said Antony, pointing to aportly gentleman, with lightly powdered hair and a blue riding-coat, painted at the end of the eighteenth century. "It was his eldest son, who had no sons, and left the place to his daughter, who married SirGeoffrey Thornhirst. "

"But where is your great-great-grandmother that you told me about, and rather insinuated she was as nice as my Ambrosine Eustasie deCalincourt?"

"There she is, in the place of honor. She was painted by Gainsborough, after she married. What do you think of her?"

"Oh! she is lovely, " I said, "and she has your cat's eyes. "

"'She is your ancestress, too, but she is not like you. Do you see thedog in the picture?"

"Yes. Why, it is just the portrait of one of your three knights!"

"Have you never heard the tradition, then?"

"No. "

"As long as Dane Mount possesses that breed of dogs fortune is tofavor the owner; but if they die out I can't tell you what calamitiesare not to overtake him. It has been going for hundreds of years. "

"Then Ulfus, Belfus, and Bedevere are the descendants of that dog inthe picture?"

"Yes. "

"No wonder they give themselves such airs. "

"Do you hear that, boys?" said Antony, turning to the three, who hadagain followed us. "My Comtesse says you give yourselves airs. Comeand die for her to show her your real sentiments. "

The three great fellows advanced in their dignified way, castingadoring glances at their master. 

"Now die, all of you!"

They sneezed and curled up their lips, and made the usual grimaces ofdogs when they are moved and self-conscious, but they all three layflat down at my feet. 

"I _am_ flattered, " I said, "and I have not even a biscuit to giveyou. "

"We are not so sordid as that at Dane Mount. We do not die forbiscuits, but because we love the lady, " said Antony. 

I bent down and kissed Ulfus, who was nearest to me. 

"Now I am going to show you some Thornhirst pictures and some olderAthelstans that are in the hall and the dining-room, and a portraitof my mother that I have in my own smoking-room. "

Antony made the most interesting guide. There was something amusingand to the point about all his comments. I soon knew the differentcharacteristics of each member of the family. One or two, especiallyof the Thornhirsts, are wonderfully like him--the same level, darkeyebrows and firm mouths. 

"This is my sanctum, " he said, at last, opening a door down acorridor, and we went into a large room with a lower ceiling than therest of the apartments I had been into. It is panelled with cedar-woodalso and sparely hung with old prints. A delicious smell of burningpine-logs again greeted me. The thick, silk curtains were drawn. Thelamps were softly shaded. An old dog of the same family as the threeknights basked before the fire. It was all cosey and homelike. 

"Oh! this is a nice room, too!" I exclaimed. 

"I spend a good deal of time here. One grows to like one's rooms. "

His mother's portrait hangs over the fireplace, a charming face, whosebeauty is not even disguised by the hideous fashions of 1870, when itwas painted. 

"She died when I was in Russia, " said Antony. 

My eyes fell on the mantel-piece. The narrow ledge held threephotographs, one of a man, one of Lady Tilchester, and the centreone--an amateur production, evidently--of a little girl with barefeet, putting one fat toe into a stream, her hat hanging down herback, and her face bent down looking at the water. 

"What a dear little picture, " I said. "Who is that?"

"Oh, that is the Tilchester child, Muriel Harley, " he said, carelessly. "We snap-shotted her paddling in the burn in Scotlanda year or two ago. Come, it is dressing-time. I must send youup-stairs. " And then, as we left the room, "You look so comfortablein that tea-gown! Don't bother to change, " he said. 

"Why deprive me of displaying to you the splendors I brought over onpurpose?" I said, gayly, as I ran up the broad steps. 

XIV

I do not think there can be a more agreeable form of entertainmentthan a _tête-à-tête_ dinner, provided your companion is sympathetic. Anyway, to me this will always be one of the golden hours in my lifeto look back upon. 

Never had Antony been so attractive. Every sentence was wellexpressed, and only when one came to think of them afterwards, didone discover their subtle flattery. 

By the time the servants had finally left the room I felt like apurring cat whose fur has been all stroked the right way--at peacewith the world. 

The dinner had been exquisite, but I was too excited to feel hungry. 

"Comtesse, " said Antony, looking at the clock, "there is one good hourbefore the arrivals by the last train can possibly get here. Shall wespend it in the library or the drawing-room?" He did not suggest hisown sitting-room. 

"The library. It is more cosey. "

As he held the door open for me, there was an expression in his facewhich again caused me the ridiculous sensation I have spoken of sooften. I suddenly realized that life at some moments is worth living. Perhaps grandmamma and the Marquis were right after all, and theseglimpses of paradise are the compensations. 

"Will you play to me, Comtesse?" Antony said when we got to thelibrary and he opened the piano. "I shall be selfish and sit in acomfortable chair and listen to you. "

I am not a great musician, but grandmamma always said my playing gaveher pleasure. The music makes me feel--so, perhaps, that is why itmakes others feel, too. 

I played on, it seemed to me, a long time. Then, after some tenderbits of Greig, running from one to another, I suddenly stopped. Themusic had been talking too much to me. It said, over and over again:"Ambrosine, you love this man. He is beginning to absorb the whole ofyour life. " And, again: "Life is short. This happiness will be over ina few moments. Live while you may. "

"Why do you stop, Comtesse?" asked Antony, in a moved voice. 

"I--do not know. "

He rose and came and leaned on the piano, I felt--oh! I had never beenso agitated in my life. At all costs he must not say anything to me, nothing that I should have to stop, nothing to break this beautifuldream--

"Oh! do you not hear the sound of carriage-wheels?" I exclaimed, in ahalf voice. 

It broke the spell. 

Antony walked to the window. He pulled the curtains aside and openeda shutter to look upon the night. 

"It is the thickest fog I ever remember, " he said. "I doubt if thebrougham, which put up at the station, could get back here, even ifthey have come by the last train. "

"Oh! of course they have come!" I said, unsteadily. 

He did not answer, but carefully closed the shutter again and drew thecurtains. I went to the fireplace and began caressing one of the dogs. My hands were cold as ice. Antony lost a little of his _sang-froid_. He picked up a paper-knife and put it down again. 

It seemed to me my heart was thumping so loudly that he must hear itwhere he stood. 

We both listened intently. Neither of us spoke. Eleven o'clock struck. The butler entered the room. 

"Bilsworth has managed to get here on one of the horses, Sir Antony, and he says the last train is in, and no one arrived by it. "

"Very well, " said Antony, calmly. "You can shut up for the night. "

And the butler went out, softly closing the door behind him. 

XV

Before I opened my eyes next morning in my beautiful room a telegramcame from Augustus--a long telegram written the night before, tellingme that it was impossible to penetrate the fog that night, and I wasto come up and join him at once in London, as he had just decided togo to the war with his Yeomanry. He could not keep out of it longer, as all his brother officers had volunteered, so he had felt obligedto do so, too. They were to start in less than three weeks. 

"I shall go by the ten-o'clock train, " I told McGreggor, as Iscribbled my reply. "I must get up at once. Ask for my breakfast tobe brought up here. "

I was dressed by nine o'clock and sipping my chocolate. 

The daintiness of the old Dresden china equipage pleased me, forceditself upon my notice in spite of the deep preoccupation of my mind. 

An exquisite bunch of fresh roses lay on the tray, and a note fromAntony--only a few words--hoping I had slept well and saying thebrougham would be ready for me at half-past nine, and that he alsowas going to London. 

McGreggor had left the room. Oh! am I very wicked? I kissed thewriting before I threw the paper in the fire!

And so Augustus is going to the war, after all. It must have been somevery strong influence which persuaded him to volunteer, he who hatedthe very thought. 

I felt bitterly annoyed with myself that this news did not cause meany grief. I have been this man's wife for five months, and his goinginto danger in a far country leaves me cold. But I did, indeed, grievefor his mother. Her many good qualities came back to me. This will bea terrible blow to her. 

I looked up at the little pastel by La Tour. The sprightly FrenchMarquise smiled back at me. 

"Good-bye, " I said. "You, pretty Marquise, would call me a foolbecause to-day Antony is not my lover. But I--oh, I am glad!"

He did not even kiss my finger-tips last night. We parted sadly aftera storm of words neither he nor I had ever meant to speak. 

"_Il s'en faut bien que nous commissions tout ce que nos passions nousfont faire!_"

Once more La Rochefoucauld has spoken truth. 

Why the situation is as it is I cannot tell. In my bringing up, theidea of taking a lover after marriage seemed a more or less naturalthing, and not altogether a deadly sin, provided the affair wasconducted _sans fanfaronnade_, without scandal. It was not thatgrandmamma and the Marquis actually discussed such matters in myhearing, but the general tone of their conversation gave thatimpression. 

Marriage, as the Marquis said to me, was not a pleasure--it is a meansto an end, a tax of society. The _agréments_ of life came afterwards. I had always understood he had been grandmamma's lover. 

Once I heard him express this sentiment when I was supposed to bereading my book: The marriage vows, he said, were the only ones agentleman might break without great blemish to his honor. This was theatmosphere I had always lived in, and since my wedding the people ofmy own class that I have met do not seem to hold different views. LordTilchester is Babykins's lover. The Duke has passed on from severalwomen, and, to come nearer home, there are my husband and LadyGrenellen. Only Lady Tilchester seems noble and above all theseearthly things. 

Why did I hesitate? I do not know. There is a something in my spiritwhich cried out against the meanness of it, the degradation, thesacrilege. I could not break my word to Augustus. Oh! I could notstoop to desecrate myself, and to act for all the future--hours ofdeceit. 

And now after to-day I will never see Antony alone again. That weshall casually meet I cannot guard against. But never again shall Istay in his house. Never again awake in this beautiful room. Neveragain--

"The brougham is at the door, ma'am, " said McGreggor, interrupting mythoughts, and I descended the stairs. The fog was still gray and raw, but had considerably lifted. 

In the uncompromising daylight Antony's face looked haggard and drawn. 

"Comtesse, " he said, as we drove along, "I cannot forgive myself forcausing you pain last night. Nothing was further from my thoughts thanto harass and disturb you--here, in my own house--that I wanted youto look upon as your haven of rest. But I am not made of stone. Thesituation was exceptional--and I love you. "

In spite of our imminent parting, joy rushed through me at his words. Oh! could I ever get tired of hearing Antony say "I love you"?

"You did not cause me pain, " I said. "We had drifted, neither knowingwhere. It was fate. "

"Darling, do you remember our talk in your sitting-room, and of the_coup de foudre_? Well, it has struck us both. Oh! I could cursemyself! Your dear little white face looks up at me patheticallywithout a reproach, and I have been a selfish brute to even tell youI love you. I meant to be your friend and comrade that you might feelyou had at least some one that would stand by you forever. I wanted tomake your life pleasanter, and now my mad folly has spoiled it all, and you decree that we must part. Oh! my little Comtesse, my lovingyou has only been to hurt you!"

"Oh no. It makes me glad to know it--only--only I cannot see you anymore. "

"I would promise never to say another word that could disturb you. Oh!Why must we say good-bye?"

"Because I could not promise not to wish you to say things. You mustsurely know if we went on meeting it could only have one end. "

"Well, I will do as you wish, my darling white rose. In my eyes youare above the angels. "

Antony's voice when it is moved could wile a bird from off a tree. 

Then I told him of my telegram, and I know he, too, felt glad thatlast night we had parted as we had. 

"Ambrosine, listen to me, " he said, "I will not try to see you, but ifyou want anything in the world done for you, promise to let me do it. "

I promised. 

"There is just one thing I want to know, " I said. "That day before mywedding, when you sent me the knife and the note saying it was not toolate to cut the Gordian knot, what did you mean? Did you care for me, then?"

"I do not know exactly what I meant. I was greatly attracted by you. That day we came over I very nearly said to you then, 'Come along awaywith me, ' and then we never met again until your wedding. When I sentthe knife I half wondered what you would say. I wrote the note halfin joke, half in earnest. My principal feeling was that I could notbear you to marry Augustus. If we had chanced to meet then, really, I should have taken you off to Gretna Green. "

"Alas!" I said. 

The footman opened the door. We had arrived at the station. 

We did not travel in the same carriage going to London. We had agreedit would be better not. And I do not think any one, seeing Antonycalmly handing me into the hired brougham Augustus had sent to me, would have guessed that we were parting forever, and that, to me atleast, all joy in the world had fled. 

It is stupid to go on talking about one's feelings. Having cut offone's hand, I am sure grandmamma would say it would be drivelling andmawkish to meditate over each drop of blood. 

I tried hard to think of other things. I counted the stupid pattern onthe braid that ornamented the inside of the brougham. I counted thelamp-posts, with their murky lights, showing through the fog. I lookedat McGreggor sitting stolidly opposite me. Could any emotions happento that wooden mask? "Have you a lover that you have said good-bye toforever, I wonder? And is that why your face is carved out of stone?"I said to myself. 

In spite of all grandmamma's stoical bringing-up, it was physical painI was suffering. 

In Queen Victoria Street a hansom passed us and I caught a mistyglimpse of Antony. He smiled mechanically as he raised his hat. 

And so this is the end. 

The fog is falling thickly again. Everything is damp and cold andblack as night. 

And I--Oh! I wish--

"Hallo, little woman! Glad to see you!" said Augustus, in a thick andtipsy voice, as I got out of the carriage. And he kissed me in frontof all the people at the hotel door. 

BOOK III

I

The ship sailed a week ago and Augustus has gone to the war. Oh, Ihate to look back and think of those dreadful three weeks before hestarted!

A nightmare of hideous scenes. Alternate drunkenness and inordinateaffection for me, or sullen silence and cringing fear. Oh, of allthe frightful moments there are in life, there can be none so dark asthose that some women have to suffer from the drunken passions andways of men!

Augustus would have deserted at the last moment if an opportunity hadoffered. His mother made matters worse, as, instead of rememberingher country as so many mothers have, and sending her son on his waywith brave and glorious words, she wept and lamented from morningtill night. 

"I told you so, Gussie, " she said, when she first met us in London. "Iwas always against your joining that Yeomanry. I told you it wasn'tonly the uniform, and it might get you into trouble some day. Oh, tothink that an extra glass of champagne could have made you volunteer. And now you've got to go to the war and you have broken my heart. "

Augustus's own terror was pitiable to see if it had not roused all mycontempt. 

Oh, that I should bear the name of a craven!

Lady Grenellen was also in London. When he was sober enough and notengaged with his military duties, Augustus went to see her, and if shehappened to be unkind to him he vented his annoyance upon me on hisreturn. 

Had it not been that he was going to the war, I could not, for myown self-respect, have put up with the position any longer. But thatthought, and the sight of his weeping mother, made me bear all thingsin silence. I could not add to her griefs. 

She quite broke down one day. 

"I always knew Gussie took too much. It began at Cambridge, long ago, "she wept. "But after he first saw you and fell in love, he gave itup, I hoped, and now it has broken out again. I thought marrying youwould have cured him. Oh, deary me! I feared some one would tell yourgrandma, and she would break off the match. I was glad when yourwedding was over. " And she sobbed and rocked herself to and fro. "I'mgrateful to you, my dear, for what you have done for him. It's beenugly for you lately. But there--there, he's going to the war and Ishall never see him again!"

"Do not take that gloomy view. The war is nearly over. There is nodanger now, " I said, to comfort her. "Augustus will only have ridingabout and a healthy out-door life, and it will probably cure him. "

"I've lived in fear ever since the war began, and now it's come, " shewailed, refusing to be comforted. 

I said everything else I could, and eventually she cheered up for afew days after this, but at the end broke down again, and now, Ameliawrites, lies prostrate in a darkened room. Amelia is having her timeof trial. They left for Bournemouth yesterday. 

Am I a cold and heartless woman because now that Augustus has gone Ican only feel relief?

One of his last speeches was not calculated to leave an agreeableimpression. 

"You'd better look out how you behave while I am away, " he said. "I'dkick up a row in a minute, only you're such a lump of ice no man wouldbother with you. " Then, in a passion: "I wish to God they would, andtake you off, so I could get some one of more use to me!" He wassurprised that I did not wish him to kiss me ten minutes after this. 

And now he has gone, and for six months, at any rate, I shall be freefrom his companionship. 

When he returns things shall be started on a different footing. 

I came down to Ledstone by myself yesterday. I have no plans. PerhapsI shall stay here until Christmas, when I am to go to Bournemouth tomy mother-in-law. 

The house seems more than ever big and hideously oppressive. I mustfind some interest. The old numbness has returned with double force. Itake up a book and put it down again. I roam from one room to another. I am restless and rebellious--rebellious with fate. 

I know grandmamma would be angry with me could she come back to menow. She would say I was behaving with the want of self-control of acommon person, and not as one of our race. Well, perhaps she is right. I shall go to the cottage and see Hephzibah and give myself a shock. That may do me good. 

I never willingly let myself think of Antony, but unconsciously mythoughts are always turning to the evening in the fog. I do not knowwhere he is. He may be at Dane Mount, only these few miles off, andyet we must not meet. 

I wonder if Ambrosine Eustasie de Calincourt had ever a lover. Probably--and she would have listened to him, being of her time. 

Oh, what is this quality in me that makes me as I am--a flabby thing, with strength enough to push away all I desire in life, to keepuntarnished my idea of honor, and yet too weak to tear the matter frommy mind once I have done so?

How grandmamma would despise me!

I think of the Princess's answer to the riddle of the nineteenth dayin _A Digit of the Moon_. I am this middle thing, and it is only thevery bad and very good that achieve peace and perfect happiness. 

"Come, Roy, away with us! Let us run, as we used to do last year whenwe were young. Let us shake ourselves and laugh. No more of thisunworthy repining! There are some in the world that have but one eye, and some but one leg, and they cannot see or run, and are worse offthan we are, my friend. So think of that, and don't lift your lip atme, and tell me it is cold, and you want to stay by the fire. "

All the blinds were down in the front of the cottage as I unlatchedthe garden gate--the gate I had passed through last followinggrandmamma's coffin to her grave. I ran round to the back door andsoon found Hephzibah. 

Her joy was great to see me there, her only regret being she had notknown I was coming that she might have had the fires lit. They wereall laid, and she soon put a match to them. 

With what pride she showed me how she had kept everything! Then sheleft me alone, standing in the little drawing-room. It seemed sowonderfully small to me now. The pieces of brocade still hid themagenta "suite, " but arranged with a prim stiffness they lacked inour day. Dear Hephzibah! She had been dusting them, and would notfold them up and put them away in case that I should ever come. 

The china all stood as it used, and grandmamma's chair with herfootstool, and the little table near it with her magnifying-glass andspectacle-case. There were her books, the old French classics, and themodern yellow backs, her paper-knife still in one, half-cut. I neverrealized how happy I had been here, in this little room, a year ago. How happy, and, oh, how ridiculously young! My work-box stood in itsusual place, a bit of fine embroidery protruding from its lid. 

For the first time in my life I sat down in grandmamma's chair. Oh, ifsomething of her spirit could descend upon me! I tried to think of hermaxims, her wonderful courage, her cheerfulness in all adversities, her wit, her gayety. I seemed a paltry, feeble creature daring to sitthere, in her _bergère_, and sigh at fate. No, I would grumble nomore. I, too, would be of the race. 

How long I mused there I do not know. The fire was burning low. 

I went up to my own old room, I must see everything, now I was here. It struck me with a freezing chill as I opened the door. The fire hadnot drawn here, and lay a mass of smouldering sticks and paper in thenarrow grate. 

There was my little white bed, cold and narrow. The dressing-table, with its muslin flounces and cheap, white-bordered mirror. Even thechina tray was there, where, I remember, my jewels lay the nightbefore my wedding, and close beside it, the red-morroco case Antony'spresent had come in--left behind, by mistake, I suppose, when theother gifts were packed away. The note he had written me with it wasstill in its lid. 

The paper felt icy to touch. I pulled it out and read it to the end. Then I threw it in the fire. The sullen, charred sticks had not lifeenough to burn it. I lit a match and watched the bright flames curl upthe chimney until all was destroyed. Then I fled. Here at least in thecottage I will never come again. The room is full of ghosts. 

On the whole, however, my visit did me good. I returned to Ledstonewith a firm determination to be more like grandmamma. 

A telegram was awaiting me from Augustus, sent from his firststopping-place. He had caught the measles, it appeared. The measles!I thought only children got the measles. 

Poor Augustus! He would make a bad patient. I was truly sorry, andsent the most affectionate and sympathetic answer I could think ofto meet him at St. Helena. 

I wrote to the war office, asking them please to send me any furthernews when they received it. But the measles! It almost made me laugh. 

II

Next day Lady Tilchester wrote and asked me to go to Harley. She hadheard I was alone, and would be so delighted to have me for a week, she said. 

I started two days afterwards. To see her would give me pleasure. 

"How very white and thin you are looking, dear!" she said, as we sattogether in her sitting-room the first afternoon I arrived. "You arenot the same person as the very young girl who danced at the Yeomanryball in May. How old are you, Ambrosine?"

"I was twenty in October. "

"Twenty years old! Only twenty years old, and with that sad face!Nothing in life ought to make one sad at twenty. You look like apiteous child. I could imagine Muriel, with a dead bird, or a setof kittens to be drowned, looking as pathetic as you do. "

"I know, I am ashamed of myself, " I said, "Grandmamma would be soangry with me if she were here. "

"Well, now we are going to cheer you up. The Duke is coming onSaturday. He is not married yet, you see. "

"Oh, tell me how the affair went, " I said, smiling. "It--it's--a monthago we were at Myrlton. "

"The silly girl preferred Luffy, but for the last weeks they both werehanging on. Miss Trumpet and her aunt were staying at Claridge's, andthey tell me it was too ridiculous! Luffy lunched with them every day, and Berty dined in the evening. "

"You did not tell her about the Coronation, then?"

"Yes, I _did_! But just for once in a way she had fallen inlove--Luffy _is_ beautiful, you know!--and, my dear child, any girl orwoman in love is the most unreasonable, absurd creature on the face ofthe earth. "

"Yes, I know. But the Americans don't get in love like other nations. She assured me they knew how to keep men in their places on the otherside of the Atlantic. "

"But the 'place' of a man is doing exactly what the particular womanin the case wants him to do, don't forget that! And Miss Trumpetfinally decided, last week, that she wanted him to be her husband. "

"Poor Duke!" I said. 

"Oh, I don't think Berty minds very much. Anyway, you will be ableto console him. "

"You have quite a mistaken idea there. He likes to talk about himself, and explain to me his views on morals as manners, but he is notthe least interested in _me_. I am a very good listener, you know. Grandmamma never let me interrupt people. "

"Poor old Berty!" she said. "He has the best heart underneath all hissilly mannerisms. I have known him since he was a child. He is mucholder than he looks, almost my age, in fact. "

"How has Lady Grenellen taken the engagement?" I asked. 

"Cordelia? Oh, she is simply furious. It is the first time any otherwoman has ever had a chance with her. An English girl would have arather blank prospect in front of her for the afterwards. But theseAmericans are so wonderfully clever and sensible, probably Luffy willremain Miss Trumpet's devoted slave for years. "

Lord Tilchester entered the room, and said "How d'y do, " to me. He isa gruff, unattractive person. I do not know what Babykins sees in him. 

He spent his time eating tea-cake and feeding the dogs, with a casualremark here and there. At last he left. I was glad. Lady Tilchester'smanner to him is always gracious and complacent. She attends to hiswishes, and talks to him without yawning. She must be my model for myfuture treating of Augustus This is the most perfect and beautifullady in the world. I think. 

There were only a couple of men staying in the house besides myselfuntil the Saturday, when a crowd of people came. In these few daysI got to know Margaret Tilchester more intimately. Her beautifulnature would stand any test. All her real and intense interests areconcentrated upon her schemes to benefit mankind, practical, sensibleschemes, with no sentiment about them. I wish I could see herchildren. The boy is, of course, at Eton, and the little girl is againaway, visiting her grandmother. There are dozens of photographs ofthem about, and the girl keeps reminding me of some one, I cannot fixwho. She looks a dear little creature. Oh, I should love a baby! Butstill I shall always pray I may never have a child. 

The Duke arrived with the other guests on Saturday. He looked just thesame. His reverse of fortune had not altered his appearance. He seemedextremely glad to see me. 

"You have heard how the affair went, " he said to me the first nightafter dinner. "After keeping me in the most ridiculous position, dangling for weeks, she preferred Luffy. "

"Yes, I heard. "

"My only satisfaction out of the whole thing is that, for once, Cordelia is paid out in her own coin. As a rule, she only cares totake away some one who belongs to some other woman, and now thislittle girl has turned the tables. "

"How spiteful of you, when Lady Grenellen was trying to arrange foryour future happiness!"

"Nothing of the kind. You don't know Cordelia. She is only afraid Ishall shut up Myrlton, or let it, and she amuses herself a good dealthere. She thought if I had a rich wife her opportunities wouldoftener occur. I can only keep it open in the autumn now. "

"Oh, you are a wonderful company!" I laughed. 

"I wish you were a widow. You would suit me in every way. "

"Hush!" I said, frowning. "I do not like you to speak so, even injest. "

"But I always told you I loved you, " he said, resignedly. 

"Nonsense. What is this ridiculous love you all speak about? A sillypassion that only wants what it cannot have, or, if it succeeds, immediately translates itself to some one else. You told me soyourself. You said at least you were not wearyingly faithful--you, as a class. "

"How you confute one with argument, lovely lady! I shall call youPortia. But what an adorable Portia!"

"Now stop, " I said, severely. "I would rather hear your views onmorality and religion than the rubbish you are now talking. "

"I have never been more snubbed in my life. Even Miss Corrisande K. Trumpet did not flatten me out as you do, " he said, with feignedresentment. 

"You told me in the beginning I looked unlike the Englishwomen. Well, I am unlike them. I am a person of bad nature. I refuse to be bored. "

"And I bore you?"

"Only when you talk silly sentiment. "

"Then it is a bargain. If I don't bore you, you will be friends withme?"

"And if you do--_bon soir, monsieur_, " and I rose, laughing, andjoined my hostess. 

The party this time was much nicer than the former one I came to. It was composed of clever, interesting people. The conversation wasoften brilliant and elevating. No one talked like Babykins or LadyGrenellen. In fact, it appeared another society altogether. It seemedimpossible among these people to realize that perhaps, in reality, they are like the rest. There was not a word or a look which wouldsuggest that they held any but the highest views. 

Lady Tilchester shone among them. She seemed to be in a suitablesetting. They were mostly of very high rank, and the rest politiciansand diplomats. They did not clip their sentences and use pet words, and they did not smoke cigarettes all the time. 

The women, although not nearly so well dressed or attractive to lookat, were much more agreeable to one another, and one was a perfectlywonderful musician. Her playing delighted us all. She played thethings of Greig that I played to Antony on the evening at Dane Mount. I sat by myself and listened. I seemed to see his face and hearhis voice, but the good resolutions I had made while sitting ingrandmamma's chair helped me to put these thoughts away. 

I felt more at rest, at peace, here. Every one's life seemed full ofinterest--interest in something great. I would like this society bestif I had to choose which I would frequent, but I can realize thatpeople as good as these, but duller and less brilliant, would makeone look at the clock. 

Perhaps Lady Tilchester's plan of having every sort at her house isthe best, after all. Then she can have variety and never be bored. 

I wonder if it is the occupation of their minds with great things, in this set, which balances with the "lives of compulsion" led bythe middle classes, and so prevents them also from "getting back tonature, " as the Duke said. 

It is an interesting problem. 

Mr. Budge sat down and talked to me. He has a very strong character, I am sure, and I was flattered that he should think me worth speakingto. 

"I admire your perfect stillness, " he said at last, after there hadbeen a pause of a moment or two. "I have never seen a woman sit sostill. It is a great quality. "

"I was not allowed to fidget when I was young, " I said. "Perhaps oneacquires repose as a habit. "

"When you were young! Why, you look only a baby now! I would take youfor about eighteen years old, and that is what interests me. Your eyeshave a question and a story in them that is not usual at eighteen. "

"Oh, I am ever so much older than that! I must be at least fifty!" Isaid. 

He smiled. "I am fifty. It is a terrible age. "

"I dare say it would be nice to be fifty if one had been long enoughyoung--to get there gradually. But to jump there, that is what is notamusing. "

"And you have jumped to fifty? I thought there was a story in thoseSphinx eyes. "

"Why do you say that? You are the second person who has said I havethe eyes of the Sphinx. I would like to know why?" I asked. 

"Because they are inscrutable. They suggest much and reveal nothing. It would interest me deeply to hear your impression of things. "

"What things?"

"The world, the flesh, or the devil--anything that would make you liftthe curtain a little. For instance, what do you think of this societyhere now?"

"They all seem to be clever people with interests in life. "

"Most people have interests in life. The candle would soon burn outotherwise. What are yours, if I may ask?"

"I am observing. I have not decided yet what interests me. I wouldlike to travel, I think, and see the world. "

"That is an easy matter at your age. But have you no other desires?"

"No, unless it would be to sleep very soundly and enjoy my food. "

"What a little cynic! A gross little materialist! And you look theembodiment of etherealism. "

"At fifty I have always understood creature comforts begin to mattermore. Each age has its pleasures. "

He laughed. 

"Tell me something else about the emotions of the fifty-year-olds. "

"They get up in the morning and they wonder if it will rain, and, if they are in England, it often answers them by pouring. Then theybreakfast, and wonder if they will read or play the piano or walk, orif it matters a scrap if they do none of these things, and presentlythey look at the papers, and they see the war is going on still, andpeople are being killed, and they wonder to what end. And they readthat the opposition is accusing the government of all sorts of crimesand negligences, and they remember that is the fate of governments, whichever side is in. And then they lunch, perhaps, and see friends. And they find they want some one else's husband but their own, andthat the husband, perhaps, only cares for sport, or some one else'swife. And then they sleep after lunch, and drive, and have tea, andread books about philosophy, and dine, and yawn, and finally go tobed. "

"What a terrible picture! And when they were young what did they do?"

"It is so long ago I heard of that, but I will try to remember. Theywoke feeling the day was a glorious thing in front of them, that evenif they were in England, and it was raining, the sun would soon comeout. And they sang while they dressed, and, if it was summer, theyrushed round the garden, and loved all the flowers, and the scent inthe air, and the beauty of the lights and colors, and the dear littlebutterflies. And they saw the shades on the trees, and they heard thedifferent notes in the birds' songs. And they were hungry, and gladto eat bread and milk. And every goose was a swan, and every momentfull of joy, because they said to themselves, 'Something glorious' iscoming to me, also, in this most glorious world!'"

I laughed softly. It seemed so true, and so long ago. 

Mr. Budge looked at me. His face was grave and puzzled. 

"Child, " he said, "it grieves me to hear you talk so. I assure you, I, who am really fifty, still enjoy all those things that you say onlythe very young can appreciate. "

"We have changed places, then!" I answered, lightly. "And I see LadyTilchester making a move towards bed. That is a delightful place, where fifty and fifteen can both enjoy oblivion--so good-night!" AndI smiled at him over my shoulder as I walked towards the door!

Next day, after church, the Duke and I went for a walk. He kept hispromise and did not bore me. We discussed all sorts of things, someinteresting, and all in the abstract. We left personalities alone. Atlast he said:

"Until the beginning of the nineteenth century things went alonggradually. People could look ahead for a hundred years and say, withsomething like certainty, what would be likely to take place. Butsince then everything has gone with such leaps and bounds that no onecould prophesy! Though in five hundred years we shall probably be awretched republic, constructed out of the débris of the old order, andthe Americans will be an aristocratic nation with a king. "

"What makes you think so?"

"Because when companies of people get sufficiently rich not to haveto work they grow to like whatever will appeal to their vanity andself-importance. There is a halo round a title, and you can leave itto your children. A king becomes a necessity then. "

"An American king! It does seem a strange idea. Well, we shall not bethere to see, so it does not matter to us. 'Sufficient unto the day isthe evil thereof. '"

"History always repeats itself. Look at the Romans, a civilizedrepublic, and then they must have an emperor. "

"And then the barbarians came and the whole thing was blotted out. Andso in the end, _à quoi bon_? No one was ever benefited. "

"But the world would not go on if we said '_à quoi bon_' toeverything. The fortunate thing is that for the time we think thingsmatter immensely. When people begin to feel nothing matters at all, itis because their livers are out of order. And when a nation becomesapathetic, that is what is the matter too. Look at Italy or Spain!Their livers are completely out of order. All their institutions arejaundiced and each country is going down-hill. "

"Poor Spain and Italy!" I said, and I laughed. 

"I like to hear you laugh, I don't care what it is about, " said theDuke. 

"I believe if I had your great position and traditions of family Ishould try to be a strong influence in the country. I would try tomake a name for myself in history, " I said. "I would not be contentedwith being just a duke. "

"Ah, if I had you always near me perhaps I should, " and he sighedpathetically. 

"Now, now! you are breaking your bargain, and talking personally, which will bore me. "

"But you began it. I was quietly discussing something--the evolutionof the world, I think--when you gave me your opinion of what you woulddo in my case. "

I laughed. 

"Yes, but I am permitted to be illogical, not being a man, and I amthinking it might cause me an interest if I had your case. "

"I will tell you what my grandfather, the tenth Duke, said to me whenhe was a very old man--you know his record, of course? He was one ofthe greatest politicians and _litterateurs_ of his time, but had beenin the Guards when a boy, and at sixteen fought at Waterloo. 'Afterhaving tasted the best of most things in life, Robert, ' he said, 'Ican tell you there are only two things really worth having--women andfighting. '"

III

Before the end of my visit to Harley the Duke and I became fastfriends, and while not possessing Antony's lightness of wit orpersonal attractions, he is an agreeable companion and out of theordinary run of young men. He promised me, as we said good-bye, thathe would think of my words, and try to do something with his life todeserve my good opinion. 

"Come here whenever you are lonely, dear child, " said my beautifulhostess, as we parted. "We delight in having you, and you must notmope at home all by yourself. "

The roads were too bad for the automobile, so I drove back to Ledstonein my victoria. It was a brilliant, frosty day, the 11th of December. Something in the air sent my spirits up. I felt if Mr. Budge had onlybeen with me I could have told him I was growing younger. My firstinterest when I got home should be to alter my boudoir. Augustus hadleft me fairly provided with money, and I could, at all events, run upwhat bills I pleased. That thought brought me back to the last bill Ihad tried to incur. 

What had been the result of my orders? Would the shop-people have toldLady Grenellen that a strange lady had sent her the tea-gowns? Wouldshe have wondered about them and made inquiries? I had heard nothingfurther. I dismissed the subject and returned to my boudoir. Iwas just thinking deeply what change I should make as we drove upthe avenue. Should I take away the mustard walls and do the wholething white, or have it pale green, or what? Then we caught up atelegraph-boy. He handed me the orange envelope. 

It was from the war office, and ran:

 "We are deeply grieved to inform you intelligence has been received that your husband, Lieutenant Augustus Gurrage, of the Tilchester Yeomanry, died of measles on board the troop-ship _Aurora_ on the 6th instant. "

The sky suddenly became dark, I remember nothing more until I foundmyself in the hall with a crowd of servants round me. For the firsttime in my life I had fainted. I shall not analyze my feelings at thistime. The principal emotions were horror and shock. 

Oh, poor Augustus! to have died all alone at sea! Oh, I did, indeed, grieve for him! And the measles, which I had almost laughed at! Themeasles to have killed him! Afterwards, when we heard the details, itappeared his constitution was so weakened with the quantity of alcoholhe taken in those last three weeks that he had no strength to standagainst the attack. 

My one thought was for his poor mother. A telegram had gone to her, too, it appeared. 

I left for Bournemouth by the first train I could catch, but when Iarrived I was met by a doctor. Mrs. Gurrage had lost her reason, hetold me, upon hearing the news. She had been weak and ailing and inbed ever since her return from London, and this had proved the laststraw, and now she lay, a childish imbecile, in her gorgeous bedroomup-stairs. 

Oh, I can never write the horrors poor Amelia and I went through forthe next ten days. The sadness of it all! My poor mother-in-law didnot recognize me. She talked incessantly of Augustus. She seemed quitehappy. He was a boy again to her--sometimes an infant, and at othersalmost grown up. 

Once or twice she asked Amelia if I was not the new tenant at thecottage. 

"She's a pretty girl, " she said, "and Gussie's wonderful took withher. "

Her poor voice had gone back to the sound and pronunciation of herearly youth. Sometimes her accent was so broad and her expression sounusual that I could hardly understand her. 

They had buried Augustus at sea. A grand and glorious grave, I think. 

By the beginning of the new year I found myself a very rich woman. Augustus had left me his fortune, to be divided with his mother, should she survive him, and if not, to go to me and any possiblechildren we might have. The will had been made directly we returnedto Ledstone after our wedding. 

Amelia received only a very small legacy. 

Towards the end of January there was a change in the poor invalidup-stairs. My presence began to awake some memories. She was unhappy, and pointed at me. I disturbed and distressed her. It grieved me. I would so willingly have stayed and nursed her, but the doctorsabsolutely forbade my ever going into her room. 

We had all the greatest specialists down from London to consult abouther case, but they all shook their heads. It seemed hopeless and mostunlikely she would ever recover her reason. 

One great physician said to me, with truth:

"For the poor lady's sake I could almost hope she will remain in herpresent state. She is happy and quite harmless, whereas she wouldsuffer agonies of grief should she recover. "

I tried to take this view, and after making every possible arrangementfor her comfort and attendance I left for London. There was a greatdeal of business to be seen about in connection with the will. 

Lady Tilchester had telegraphed at once all her sympathy, and I gotnumbers of letters from all sorts of people. 

Among them Lady Grenellen! A beautifully expressed note, full of thefriendliest sympathy. 

When I got back to Ledstone, after my week in London, I foundquantities of letters and bills had accumulated for Augustus. Hislawyers were coming down the next day to sort and settle everything. They had been piled up in the smoking-room. 

I sadly glanced through them as they lay. Oh, I am not a hypocrite tosay that when I first went back into this room, full of tipsy horrorsas its associations were, it brought Augustus back so vividly that Isat down and cried. 

I had never wished him ill, and would have given him back his life ifI could. To die so young, with everything to make existence fair! Itseemed too sad. 

I lifted the pile of papers, one after another, and at last came uponone with the address printed on the outside of the envelope--theaddress of the dress-maker where Lady Grenellen's clothes came from. 

This bill the lawyers should not see. I looked carefully to the end ofthe pile. There were no more of any consequence. I wished I could findher letters too, to save them also. The drawers were all locked. Icould not think that night what to do, but when the lawyers came nextday I asked them to give me any letters they might find with the samewriting on the envelope as the one I showed them--her note of sympathyto me--and not to examine them. 

And so it was that a day or two afterwards I had before me six letterswith a gold coronet emblazoned upon the envelopes. 

I had paid the bill. I wrote the check and despatched it the nightI found it, and now the receipt also lay beside the letters. I tiedthem together and sealed the bundle with Augustus's seal. I put thereceipted bill with them, and enclosed the whole packet in anotherenvelope, and addressed it to Lady Grenellen. 

I had not answered her letter of sympathy. This would be my answer. 

A thick skin is a fortunate gift, it appears, and one I had thoughtof extreme rareness in the class to which she belongs. What was mysurprise to receive a gushing letter of thanks by return of post! Myhusband and she had been such friends, she said, and he had helpedher before so kindly out of her difficulties, and it was too good ofme to have paid this bill--she could see by the date I must have paidit--and it all was too sad, and she hoped we should meet later on, perhaps at Harley! Her own husband was coming home, slightly wounded, she added. 

Had I been in a laughing mood I should have laughed aloud at theeffrontery of the whole thing. Well, perhaps it was better so. As faras I am concerned the whole incident shall be forgotten--a memory ofAugustus sunk into the past. 

And so January passed and February began. 

It seems in life that things all come together. One's days go onsmoothly, uneventfully, for months, and then, one after another, aseries of startling, unusual events occurs, which changes the courseof the peaceful river. 

At the end of February--I was still at Ledstone, and my dailycommunications from Amelia told me my poor mother-in-law was still ahappy idiot--another telegram came to me--this time it was addressedto grandmamma--to grandmamma at the cottage! The very outside startledme. 

It was long, and from an unknown firm of lawyers in America, to saythat papa had died out in the West, leaving me and grandmamma aperfectly colossal fortune--all made in the space of three years, itmust have been. 

I seemed past feeling any grief. Papa was a shadow, a strange flash inmy life for so long a time now. 

I was perfectly unacquainted with business, and had no more idea thana child what I should have to do about this. I wished I had a friendto advise me. Where could I turn? I thought of Antony. For the firsttime since my widowhood I let my thoughts turn to him. He would giveme any advice I wanted, but then--no, he had had the good taste nevereven to write to me. There was time enough for our meeting. I wouldnot push fate--I, who had been a widow only two months. 

The only thing there seemed for me to do was to start for Americaimmediately, and, after taking paid advice--one gets very good adviceby paying for it--Roy, McGreggor, my lawyer, and I left England onecold and bleak March morning. 

IV

As my trip to America was one of business entirely, and wasunaccompanied by any interesting incidents or adventures, I have letit pass by in silence. I was too busy all the time, and too lonely, to take many fresh impressions. It seemed hurry and rush, continuousnoises, and tension of the nerves. I felt glad when I once more foundmyself on board the great liner that was taking me to England. 

It was fortunately a fine passage, not even really cold at the end ofMay. Just over a year ago since I was a very young girl, wonderingwhat life had in store for me, and in twelve months a whole chapter ofevents and sensations had passed. I seemed to know the whole string ofemotions--or so I thought. 

I had my deck-chair put where I could watch the waves receding as thegreat ship cut her way through them. 

The salt air seemed to bring fresh life to me--fresh life and freshideas. Two things were certain--first, that I was now much too richfor one woman, and Amelia, who had tasted nothing but the rough bitsof life, was much too poor after her long service. 

A scheme had come into my head in these months alone. 

My mother-in-law was still an imbecile, happy and contented. She wassurrounded with nurses and all the attention that money and affectioncould buy. Why should not poor Amelia get some pleasure out of life?

I had a feeling that I, too, meant to live when the period of mymourning should be over; and how glorious to live and to forget thatI had ever even had the name of Gurrage! I would give the whole ofAugustus's fortune to Amelia; then she would gain by it, and I, too, would have the satisfaction of feeling that my marriage was anepisode, a year to be blotted out of my life. 

This thought would never have come if Mrs. Gurrage had not passed intoanother sphere of mental living. I would not have wounded her for theworld. 

I settled all the details in my mind, on my voyage home, and no soonergot to London than I executed them. The law is a slow and delayingbusiness, and even a deed of gift requires endless formalities to gothrough. 

Amelia was overcome. Her gratitude was speechless some days, and atothers broke into torrents of words. 

"I can have aunt to live with me back in the dear old home, " shesaid, once. 

To Amelia the crimson-satin boudoir, and the negro figures, and thebears, and the stained-glass window are all household gods, and farbe it from me to wish to disillusionize her. 

And I? I can take my household gods to a more congenial setting, perhaps. Who can tell? With the summer coming on and the birds singingit would be useless for me to pretend to grieve any more. A joy livesalways in my heart. Some day--not too soon, but some day--I shall seeAntony. 

I shall never hurry matters. If he cares for me as deeply as I oncethought, he will write to me soon or make some sign. Meanwhile--oh, Iam free! Free and rich and young again! The shadows are fading away. 

Grandmamma was right. 

"Remember, above all things, that life is full of compensations. "

Dear grandmamma! I wish you could come back to enjoy this second youthwith me. 

Shall I travel? It is late June now. Shall I go and see the world, or shall I wait, and perhaps, later on, have a companion to see itwith me?

To avoid the Coronation festivities, when all details about mytransfer of Augustus's property to Amelia were finished, I went overto France. I should stop at Versailles for a month and see the Marquisin Paris, and then, perhaps, go back to the cottage. 

I had often heard from Lady Tilchester--charming, sympathetic, feminine letters. I must come to them at Harley whenever I decided togo out a little, she said. I felt the whole of the world was openingfairly for me. 

I stopped a day or two in Paris to do a little shopping on my way toVersailles, and coming down the steps at Ritz one day I met Mr. Budge. He had come over for a breath of gayer air, he told me, after theCoronation fiasco. 

"You are looking wonderfully well, " he said, "and not quite fiftyyears old now. "

"I am hardly more than thirty, " I informed him, "and hope, if theweather keeps fine, to grow a little younger still. "

He said he was glad to hear it, and prayed I would let him come andsee the process. 

"One grows in the night, when one is asleep, " I said, "so no one cansee it. But if you would care to take tea with me in the afternoon, I shall be very pleased to see you. "

He came the next day. 

We talked gravely, as was befitting my mourning. He gave me news of myfriends at Harley. 

Lady Tilchester, he said, had a new scheme on hand for the employmentof the returning volunteers whose places in business had been filledup in their absence. She was absorbed in this undertaking, but whennot too busy was more charming than ever. 

"I spent a Sunday at Harley a couple of weeks ago. " he said. "I don'tthink many of the people were there that you met before--none, Ibelieve, but Sir Antony Thornhirst. "

"And how was he?" I tried to say as naturally as possible. 

"He seemed in the best of health and spirits. There is an intelligentperson, if you like. I wish he would enter Parliament. "

"But Sir Antony is a Tory, I understand, Mr. Budge! He would be nouse to you, " I said. 

"Yes, indeed, he would. We want some brilliancy just now in the Houseto wake us up. It does not matter which side it comes from. "

"Don't you think he is too casual to care enough about it? He wouldnot give himself the trouble to enter Parliament, I believe. "

"That is just it. The ablest people are so lazy. Lady Tilchester hasoften tried to persuade him, but he has some whimsical answer ready, and remains at large. "

I should like to have talked much more on this subject, but Mr. Budgechanged the conversation. He drifted into saying some personal thingswhich did not quite please me, considering my mourning. They were notin perfect taste. I remembered how in the beginning I had not likedhis hands. One's first instincts are generally right. 

When he had gone I said to myself I should not care to see him anymore. 

In Paris one finds a hundred things to do and to buy if one happenssuddenly to have become a rich widow, as is my case. My few daysstretched themselves into a week. 

I had a letter from the Marquis de Rochermont. He was returning tohis tiny apartments in the Rue de Varennes the following day, aftera fortnight's absence, he told me. The dear old Marquis! I should beglad to see him again. He must be a very old man now, almost eighty, although he was several years grandmamma's junior. 

He would lunch with me with pleasure, he said, and at one next dayarrived in my sitting-room. He looked just as he used to do at first, but soon I noticed his gayety was gone. He seemed frail and older. Hehad deeply grieved for grandmamma. 

His conversation was much the same, however. We spoke English asusual. I had grown, he said, into the most beautiful woman he had everseen in his life, and my air and my dignity were worthy of the _ancienrégime_. I had found, he hoped, that his _conseils_ had been of someuse to me in my brief married life. 

"Yes, Marquis, " I said, "I have often been grateful to you andgrandmamma. "

"You are of a great _richesse_ now, _n'est-ce pas, mon enfant_?"

"Yes, of a _richesse_. And so I have given all the Gurrage money backto one of their family--you may remember her--Amelia Hoad was hername. "

"Ah!" he said, and he kissed my hand. "That was worthy of you andworthy of your race. It would have pleased our dear madam. "

"I had become so rich, you see, from papa, I did not really want themoney, and I had a feeling that if I gave it all back I should have nofurther ties with them. I could slip away into another atmosphere andgradually forget this year of my life. "

We had a delightful luncheon, in spite of my poor old guest'sinfirmities; he had grown blinder and more tottering since last wemet. He eat very little and sipped his sparkling hock. 

I had determined somehow to try and give him some of my great wealth;but how even to broach the subject I did not know. At last, driveninto a corner with nervousness, I blurted out my wishes. 

"Oh, I want you to benefit too, dear friend!" I said. "You shared ourpoverty, why not my riches?"

His old, faded cheeks turned pink. He rose from his chair. 

"I thank you, madam, " he said, haughtily. "The de Rochermonts do notaccept money from women. "

I felt as I used to when grandmamma was ever displeased with me. Myknees shook. 

"Oh, please forgive me!" I implored. "I have always looked upon myselfas almost your child, although we are no relations, dear Marquis, andI thought--"

"_Assez, assez, mon enfant_, " he said, and he resumed his chair, "Youmeant it _gentiment_, but it was a _bêtise quand même_. We shall speakof it no more. "

Before he left he gave me some more _conseils_. 

"You took no _amant_, child? No? Well, perhaps in England it was aswell. But now listen to me. Be in no hurry _de prendre un secondmari_. The _agréments_ of life are at their beginnings for you. Alldoors fly open to a _jeune et belle veuve_. _Amusez-vous bien. _"

I looked at him. We were such old friends. I could speak to him. 

"Even if one loved some one very much, Marquis?" I asked. 

"_On ne sait jamais combien de temps cela va durer, l'amour à vingtans! C'est dangereux!_" And he shook his head. Then, with an air ofillumination, "It is your kinsman, Sir Thornhirst?" he said. 

"Yes. "

"And you love him very much?"

"I think so. "

"In all cases wait--_attendez_--_surtout_--_point trop de hâte!_"

V

Versailles for me is always full of charms. There is a dignity aboutit which reminds me of grandmamma. I love to walk in the galleriesand look at the portraits of the great ladies of the past. The gay_insouciance_ of their expressions, the daintiness of their poses, the beautiful and suitable color of everything give me a sense ofsatisfaction and repose. 

I had been there for some little while, spending days of peace andreflection, when, nearly eight months after the death of Augustus, I received two letters. 

It was a most curious coincidence that neither of my correspondentshad written to me before, even letters of condolence, and that theyshould select the same date now. 

The letters were from Antony and the Duke. They were bothcharacteristic. 

"Comtesse, " Antony wrote, "you know I am thinking of you always. Whenmay I come and see you, and where?"

The Duke's was longer. It began conventionally, and went on indelicate language to tell me that time was passing, and surely soon Imust be thinking of seeing my friends again, and he was entirely at mydisposition when I should return to England. 

This amused me. Antony's caused me a wave of joy. Oh! should I be ableto take the Marquis's advice and wait for several years? I feared not. 

Of course, I should not think of marrying Antony yet. It would beabsolutely indecent haste. Certainly not for eighteen months or twoyears, anyway. But there could be no harm in my seeing him soon. 

Excitement tingled to my very finger-tips at the thought. I did notanswer either letter for nearly a week. I walked about the gardens atVersailles and luxuriously enjoyed my musings. 

I was, as it were, a cat playing with a mouse, only I was both cat andmouse. 

One day I would picture our meeting--Antony's and mine. The next Iwould push him away from my thoughts, and decide that I would not evenlet him come to me until the year was up. Then, again, when it grewevening, and the darkness gradually crept up, there came a scent inthe air which affected me so that I longed to see him at once--to seehim--to let him kiss me. Oh, to myself I hardly dared to think ofthis!

The kisses of Augustus were, as yet, the only ones I knew. 

At last I wrote my answers. 

To the Duke I said my plans were uncertain. I did not know when Ishould return to England; probably not at all until next year, asI thought of going to Egypt for the winter. I finished with somepleasant platitudes. 

Antony's answer took longer to write, and was only a few words whenfinished. 

"I am staying at Versailles, " I wrote. "If you like to come and see mecasually--to talk about the ancestors--you may; but not for a week. "

Why I made this stipulation of a week I do not know. Directly I hadposted the letter I felt the time could never pass. It was with thegreatest difficulty I prevented myself from sending a telegram ofthree words: "Come now. To-day. " How would he find me looking? Wouldhe, too, think I had improved in appearance? I had grown an inch, itseemed to me. I was never very short, but now, at five feet seven, hecould not call me "little Comtesse" any more. Oh, to hear his dearvoice! To look into his greeny-blue, beautiful eyes! Oh, I fear noadvice in the world of a hundred marquises could keep me from Antonymuch longer!

Would Wednesday never come? The Wednesday in August after theCoronation, that was the day I had fixed for our meeting. 

Should I be out, and leave a message for him to follow me into thegardens, or should I quietly stay in my sitting-room? What shouldwe say to each other? I must be very calm, of course, and appearperfectly indifferent, and we must not speak upon any subjects but thepictures here, and our mutual friends, and the pleasure of Paris, andthe health of the dogs. 

He had replied, immediately:

"I shall be there, and we can talk of the ancestors--and otherthings, " No, there must be no "other things" yet. 

But what immense joy all this was to think about for me! I who hadnever in all my life been able to do as I pleased. Now I would nibbleat my cake and enjoy its every crumb--not seize and eat it all atonce. 

On Tuesday morning I got a telegram from Lady Tilchester, sent fromParis. I had written to her some days before. She had run over to Ritzfor a week, she said, to recover from her fatigues of the Saturday, and would I come into town, and lunch with her that day at half-pasttwelve?

With delight I started in my automobile. I had not seen her formonths. 

"Oh, you beautiful thing!" she exclaimed, when we met, "I have neverseen such a change in any one. You are like an opening rose, aglorious, fresh flower. "

She looked tired, I thought, but fascinating as ever. We lunchedtogether in the restaurant, and had a long conversation. 

She told me an amusing story of the American Lady Luffton, whom shehad seen the day before. An expected family event had prevented herfrom gracing the Coronation. 

"My dear"--and Lady Tilchester imitated her voice exactly--"it is adispensation of Providence that circumstances did not permit me toattend this ceremony. You Englishwomen would have gone anyhow; butwe Americans are different. But, I say, it is a dispensation ofProvidence, as I am considerably contented with Luffy and my positionup to the present time. But if I had gotten there, stuffed behind withthe baronesses, and had seen those duchesses marching along with theirstrawberry-leaves ahead of me, I kinder think I should have had a fitof dyspepsia right there in the Abbey. "

After lunch we went up to the sitting-room. I meant to stay for halfan hour before going back to Versailles. 

Telegrams called Lady Tilchester away for a little. She is always sofull of business. 

"I shall send Muriel to entertain you while I answer these, " she said. "I brought her over with me to have a glimpse of Paris, too. "

In a few moments the sound of feet running down the passage caused meto turn round as the door opened and a slender child of ten or elevenentered the room. She was facing the light. I happened to be standingwith my back to the window. 

"How do you do?" she said, sweetly, and put out her little hand. "Mother says I may come and talk to you. "

There are some moments in life too anguishing for words!

Her face is the face of Lady Tilchester, but her eyes--her eyes aregrayish-greeny-blue, with black edges, and that look like a cat's, that can see in the dark. 

Now I know whom her photograph reminded me of. 

There can be only one other pair of such eyes in the world. 

I don't remember what I said. Something kind and _banal_. Then Iinvented an excuse to go away. 

"Give my best love to your mother, dear, " I said, "and say I must notstop another moment. I have remembered an important appointment withthe dressmaker, and I must fly!"

She put up her _mignonne_ oval face to kiss me. 

"I have heard so much of you, " she said. "I wanted so to see you. Iwish you could have stayed. " And so we kissed and parted. 

When I got into the automobile outside, I felt as if I were goingto faint for a few awful moments. Everything was clear to me now!I remembered the little photograph on his mantel-piece, his suddenchanging of the conversation, a number of small things unnoticed atthe time. How had I been so ridiculously blind? It was because sheseemed so great and noble, and utterly apart from all these things. 

Had it been Babykins or Lady Grenellen, or any other woman, thisdiscovery would have made no difference to me. I did not doubt thatAntony loved me, and me only, now. He had been "not wearyinglyfaithful, " like the rest of his world, that was all. 

But she--Lady Tilchester--my friend! Oh, I could not take her loverfrom her! She who had always been so good to me, from the first momentof our acquaintance, kind and sympathetic and dear! I owed her deepestgratitude. If one of us must suffer, it should certainly be I. I couldnot play her false like this. Of course she loved him still! He wasoften with her, I knew, and her face had softened when first she spokeof him. They had known each other for fourteen years, she had said. Iseemed to see it all. This was her "mid-summer madness, " and Antonyhad gone away to travel for several years, and then returned to heragain. They had probably been so happy together until I came upon thescene. 

Well, they can be happy once more when he forgets me. I, at least, shall not stand in the way. Dear Margaret, I am not so mean as that!You shall keep your lover, and I will never have mine!

All my life I shall hate the road to Versailles. "Go at top speed, "I told my chauffeur. 

I felt if we might dash against a tree and have done with the wholematter, it would be the best thing in the end. 

The rapid motion through the air revived me. I had my wits about mewhen we drew up at the hotel door. 

"I am going to Switzerland to-night, " I said to McGreggor. "Pack upeverything. "

She is a maid of wonderful sense. 

"Very well, ma'am, " she said, without the slightest appearance ofsurprise. 

I sat down and wrote a telegram to Antony. It would just catch him. Hewas to leave by the night mail:

 "I have seen Muriel and I know. Lady Tilchester has been always kind to me. Do not come. Good-bye. "

Then I took it to the post-office myself. 

That night we left for Lucerne--McGreggor and Roy and I. 

VI

It being August, crowds of tourists faced me everywhere. Lucerne, which I had always heard was such a pretty place, filled me withloathing. I only stayed a day there. At last, after stopping inseveral places, we arrived one afternoon at Zuïebad. Here, atleast, there were no tourists, only ugly rheumatic invalids, andunattractive. What made me choose such a place I do not know, unlessit was because I happened to see the name printed large upon the map. Any place would do. I had not felt much in my rapid rush. A numbness, as of a limb cut off, an utter indifference to everything in life. 

But when I found myself alone in the vast pine-woods, an anguish, asof physical pain, took possession of me. Every tree spoke to me ofAntony. The surroundings were all perfect. 

What would he do? Would he follow me and try to persuade me to altermy mind? Oh no, he could never do that. He would know that this mustbe final. What had been his idea all along? How could he think Ishould never find out, and having done so, that I would ever acceptsuch a position?

Or was it that he, like all his world, thought so lightly of passingfrom one love to another that fidelity to Lady Tilchester was amongthe catalogue of things that do not count. 

I had taken no pains to hide my whereabouts. 

At each hotel they would know to where I had gone on. For days afeverish excitement took possession of me. Every knock at the doormade me start. Would he write? Would he make any sign? I almost prayednot, and yet I feared and longed to hear from him. 

This is not a school-girl love story I am writing, but the chronicleof my life. I have always despised sentimental heart-burnings, andwhen I used to read of the heroine dying for love, it always made melaugh. But, oh, never again can I know such bitterness in life as Ihave suffered in this black week--to have been so near to bliss, andnow to be away forever!

What good to me were my freedom and riches? As well be married ordead. I never knew before how much I had been looking forward toseeing Antony again. I never realized how, instinctively, for monthsmy soul had been living in the background on this thought. 

And now it was all finished. I must not be a coward. Oh, how I wishedagain for grandmamma's spirit! This time I must tear the whole thingout of my life at once. 

To go on caring for another woman's lover was beneath contempt. 

When I should have recovered a little, I would go back to England andmix with the world, and gradually forget, and eventually marry theDuke. Fortunately, as the Marquis said, _à vingt ans_ one could neverbe sure of love lasting. So probably I should soon be cured, and therewould be compensation in being an English duchess. It was a greatposition, as Miss Corrisande K. Trumpet had said. And all men makegood enough husbands if you have control of the dollars, I remembershe added. 

Well, I should have control of the dollars. So we should see. 

The Duke was a gentleman, too, and intelligent, agreeable, and hadliberal views. His Duchess might eventually have a "friend, " like therest, he had said. So, no doubt, I should be able to acquire the habitof thus amusing myself. Why should I hesitate, when the best and thenoblest gave me examples?

All my ideas on those subjects had fallen to pieces like a pack ofcards. 

"'Eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow you die. '"

Well, I had never eaten or drunk of happiness yet, and now my heartwas dead. So what was the good of it all, anyway? _À quoi bon_? andagain, _à quoi bon_? That is what the trees said to me when they tiredof calling for Antony. 

I breakfasted and lunched and dined and walked miles every day. Iloathed my food. I hated the faces of the people who stared at me. I fear I even snapped at McGreggor. Roy was my only comfort. 

But gradually the beauty and peace of the pine-forests soothed me. Better thoughts came. I said to myself: "Enough. Now you will go homeand face life. At least you can try to do some good in the world, and with your great wealth make some poor creatures happy. You havebehaved according to your own idea of gratitude and honor. No oneasked you to do it; therefore, why sit there and growl at fate? Havecourage to carry the thing through. No more contemptible repinings. "

 * * * * *

Far away up the hills there is a path that leads to an open space--atiny peep out over the tree-tops, sheer precipices below. I would gothere for the last time, and to-morrow return to England. 

The climb was steep. I was a little out of breath, and leaned on thestone ledge to rest myself when I arrived at the top. I was quitealone. 

The knife on my chatelaine caught in the lichen and dragged at thechain. It angered me. I took it off the twisted ring and looked at it. 

"Little 'ill omen, ' as he called you, is it your fault that once fate, once honor, once gratitude to a woman have kept me from my love? Well, I shall throw you away now, then I shall have no link left to remindme of foolish things that might have been. "

I lifted my arm, and with all my might flung the tiny, glitteringthing out into the air. It fell far away down among the tree-tops inthe valley. 

Then I turned to go down the hill. I had done with ridiculoussentiment, which I had always disliked and despised. 

Footsteps were coming towards me up the long, winding path. It was alonely place. I hoped it was not one of the fat German Jews who hadfollowed me once or twice. Ugly creatures!--hardly human, they seemedto me. I wished I had Roy with me. He had gone with McGreggor into thetown. 

A bend in the path hid the person from view until we met face to face. 

And then I saw it was Antony, and it seemed as if my heart stoppedbeating. 

"At last I have found you, Ambrosine, sweetheart!" he said, and heclasped me in his arms and kissed my lips. 

Then I forgot Lady Tilchester and gratitude and honor andself-control, because in nature I find there is a stronger force thanall these things, and that is the _touch_ of the one we love. 

 * * * * *

It was perhaps an hour afterwards. The shadows looked blue among thepine-trees. 

We sat on a little wooden bench. There was a warm, still silence. Nota twig moved. A joy so infinite seemed everywhere around. 

"It was all over between us ten years ago, " Antony said. "It onlylasted a year or two, when we were very young. The situation galled usboth too much, and Tilchester was always my friend. She knows I loveyou, and she only cares for her great works and her fine position now. So you need not have fled, Comtesse. "

"I shall tell you something, Antony. " I whispered. "I am glad I amdoing no wrong, but if it was to break Lady Tilchester's heart, ifgrandmamma were to come back and curse me here for forgetting all herteachings, if it was almost disgrace--now that I know what it is liketo stay in your arms--I should stay!"

THE END