You've got to be taught to hate and fear. You've got to be taught from year to year, It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear-- You've got to be carefully taught!

 You've got to be taught to be afraid Of people whose eyes are oddly made And people whose skin is a different shade-- You've got to be carefully taught. 

 You've got to be taught before it's too late, Before you are six or seven or eight, To hate all the people your relatives hate-- You've got to be carefully taught!

 Love is quite different. It grows by itself. 

 It will grow like a weed On a mountain of stones; You don't have to feed Or put fat on its bones; It can live on a smile Or a note of a song; It may starve for a while, But it stumbles along, Stumbles along with its banner unfurled, The joy and the beauty, the hope of the world. 

 --Oscar Hammerstein II

THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ

By Bob Evans

(author of _Dorothy's Mystical Adventures in Oz, Abducted to Oz_, etc. )

and Chris Dulabone

(author of _Toto in Oz, The Lunechien Forest of Oz_, etc. )

Illustrated by Doré Meers

Founded on and continuing the famous Oz stories by

L. Frank Baum

Royal Historian of Oz

This book is dedicated toLachie Dunnwho first discovered the existence of Saber-Tooth Light-bulbs

CHAPTER 1

THE COWARDLY LION'S HEROIC DEED

In all the world, there is no country or township known that can evercompare against the beauty and magnitude of the Marvelous Land of Oz. This is not a debatable issue. The Land of Oz is not only beautiful withthe glittering gemstones that are found commonplace in this remarkablefairyland, but its enchantment goes ever farther. In all the territoryof Oz, there is clean, fresh air and gorgeous trees and scenery. Thereis peace and quiet when such is desired, and there is high adventure andexcitement at other times. In Oz, no one ever grows older than hechooses, and death is practically unheard of. The country is situated inthe center of a vast continent, and is surrounded by an impassableDeadly Desert. 

Although the vast Deadly Desert Around Oz aptly prevents tourism fromabroad, those who are fortunate enough to live on the proper side ofthis sandy enigma will surely testify that the land is as no other. 

The country itself is divided into five distinct regions. The mostimportant of these is the Emerald City. This famous area lies in theexact center of the oblong land, and is home to the supreme ruler overOz. Her name is Ozma, and she is but a tiny child. Even so, no otherruler in any other country has ever been more respected, loved, orenvied. To the south of Ozma's remarkable palace is the QuadlingCountry. This is ruled over by a powerful Witch named Glinda the Good. In the Quadling Country, red is the favored color, and most of thebuildings, walls and furniture are distinctly red in hue. To the westlies the Winkie Country, which is a land where everything is bright andyellow-colored. To the north is the purple Gillikin territory, and tothe east live the Munchkins. Among these little people, blue was clearlythe color of preference. 

It is to this easternmost region that I wish to direct your attention. It was in the blue Munchkin Country of Oz that a house happened to fallfrom the sky and land with a loud crash atop a most unfortunate WickedWitch. 

Now although this particular Wicked Witch was about as repugnant as theycome, and her evil doings had brought more misery to more people thancan possibly be recorded in these few pages, it was still rather sad tosee her wicked legacy brought to such an abrupt close. Especially as theparticular house that happened to squish her was one which belonged to atiny little girl named Dorothy Gale. To think that a mere toddler couldbring an end to the story of the Wicked Witch of the East!

But the story did not exactly end there. It seems that, before such timeas the old woman's liveliness was shmushed by little Dorothy's home, shehad left a little souvenir to remember her by. Actually, it was quite alarge souvenir!

She and her equally-vile sister Allidap, the Wicked Witch of the West, had created the souvenir to do battle with the Wonderful Wizard of Ozhimself. Had it not been for the Wizard's powerful magic charms, he maywell have been defeated. But thanks to his magic, the Wizard of Oz wasable to thwart the attacks of the Witches and banish their souvenir to aforest that lay in the southern land of the Quadlings. But fearing theWitches may try to attack him again, the Wizard hid himself away in theglorious Emerald City and became a hermit. 

Then, one day, Dorothy's house came down and whumped out the WickedWitch of the East. This, needless to say, was not a healthy situationfor the Wicked Witch. Little Dorothy was advised in the Munchkin Countryto head for the central city and seek out the reclusive old Wizard, being told that he alone could help her to get home to Kansas. 

It was a long and difficult journey, but the child was equal to thechallenge. Along the way, she chanced to meet up with the Cowardly Lion. He was a formerly respected leader of the Animal Kingdom, but thisparticular lion had fallen into disgrace due to his outlandishlyunkinglike cowardice. He and the little girl became fast friends, andthey journeyed together in search of Oz and, later on, Glinda the Good. It was on their journey to locate Glinda the Good that they happened tostray into the very forest where the Witches' souvenir was staying. Asthey walked through the vast forest, a large and tawny tiger approachedthe Cowardly Lion and bowed subjectively before him. 

"Welcome, O King of Beasts!" quoth the tiger. "You have come in goodtime to fight our enemy and bring peace to all the animals of the forestonce more. "

"What is your trouble?" asked the Cowardly Lion in a quiet voice. 

"We are all threatened, " answered the tiger, "by a fierce enemy whichhas lately come into this forest. It is a most tremendous Monster, likea great spider, with a body as big as an elephant and legs as long as atree trunk. It has eight of these long legs, and as the Monster crawlsthrough the forest he seizes an animal with a leg and drags it to hismouth, where he eats it as a spider does a fly. Not one of us is safewhile this fierce creature is alive, and we had called a meeting todecide how to take care of ourselves when you came among us. "

The Cowardly Lion thought over the situation carefully. 

"Are there any other lions in this forest?" he enquired. 

"No; there were some, but the Monster has eaten them all. And, besides, they were none of them nearly so large and brave as you. "

The Lion got an idea that he hoped would help him overcome his disgrace. 

"If I put an end to your enemy, " he began, "will you bow down to me andobey me as King of the Forest?"

"We will do that gladly, " returned the big tiger. The rest of the forestanimals voiced assent. 

"Where is this great spider of yours now?" asked the Cowardly Lionbravely. 

"Yonder, " said the tiger, indicating with a tawny paw, "among the oaktrees. "

The Cowardly Lion overcame his fear and ignored the trepidation withinhis heart. He came upon the Forest Monster shortly thereafter. Eventhough it was sound asleep, it was the most ghastly sight that theCowardly Lion had ever laid eyes on. It was huge, black and furry. Itwas filthy, too. Its putrid smell had the Lion reeling in spite ofhimself. But he pressed onward. The snores of the ugly Monster revealedits razor-sharp fangs which measured in at at least a foot long. Itspowerful legs were as muscular as those of a Hercules and were as bigaround as a house and as long as the trunk of a tree. The claws on theend of its eight enormous legs were curved and as sharp as scimitars. Itwas quite the sort of thing that nightmares are made of. 

But the Cowardly Lion noticed that the Forest Monster had one weakness. He was observant enough to notice that, though the spider was so muchlarger than any other spider he had ever seen, its neck was as slenderas a wasp's waist. Given this obvious oversight on the part of theWicked Witches who had designed him, the Forest Monster suddenly seemedless Monstrous to the Cowardly Lion. With a leap and a single blow ofhis mighty paw, he knocked the Forest Monster's head clean off! He thenwatched the writhing body until its legs stopped wiggling and he knewthat it was quite dead. 

[Illustration: "_With a leap and a single blow of his mighty paw, heknocked the Forest Monster's head clean off!"_]

CHAPTER 2

ELEPHANT'S DAY

"Elephant?" asked Tweaty, a yellow canary who was looking up at thelarge gray beast. 

"Yes?" asked the elephant, who was drinking a tall glass of chocolatemilk with his trunk. 

"I was just thinking about the new Queen of Oz, " said the bird solemnly. "Do you think she'll last? I mean, I really thought that the WonderfulWizard of Oz himself would rule over the Land forever. Then I placed myconfidence in His Majesty the Scarecrow. Now, out of the blue, we've gotthis little girl who is probably younger than most eggs, and we aresupposed to give her our neverending support?"

"Why in the world not?" the pachyderm drawled as he indolently stretchedhimself. "Nibbles and I agree that, though she is very young, PrincessOzma shows a lot of promise as Oz's new leader. Give the child a chance. She's only been a Queen for a week or so!"

"Absolutely, Tweaty!" Nibbles agreed. "And so many rulers have beenyouthful. Remember the old story about King Tut? He was just a littleboy. "

Few persons guessed that Nibbles, Elephant and Tweaty were old friends, so unlike were they in appearance and disposition. Tweaty was delicate, clean and could sing for hours on end without repeating a tune. He tookpride in his appearance and always made sure that his refulgent featherswere clean. Nibbles, on the other hand, was a mouse. He was often founddigging in the trash that was sometimes left by careless campers orburrowing in other animals' nests. His fur was not what most would deemtidy, but he was amiable and companionable. Elephant, by far thelargest of the three, was less colorful. He liked the other animals, andhe ofttimes wanted to help the smaller creatures as best he could, buthis immense size and bulk generally made him feel more like a nuisancethan a help. In spite of legends that would have us all believe thatelephants are afraid of mice, he found that most of his favoriteplaymates were among the smaller creatures of Oz. He enjoyed fellowshipwith mice, as well as with rabbits and hedgehogs. He had befriendedNibbles at a young age, and it had been Nibbles who had introduced himto Tweaty. 

The three friends were enjoying a relaxing afternoon in a remote regionof the Munchkin Country known as the Lunechien Forest. It was a time oftransition in the Land of Oz. The child Queen, Ozma of Oz, had just beennamed Ruler over the land. This news had met with mixed reactions. ManyOzites maintained that only the Wonderful Wizard could rule the land. Others favored the amiable Scarecrow. But all admitted that, even thougha tiny little girl, Ozma was a unique leader. She had already proventhat. She had not only created and brought to life a pumpkin-headed mannamed Jack, a wooden Sawhorse, and a wobbly monstrosity with the head ofa Gump, but had also gone forth with these unlikely companions and savedthe Land of Oz from a terrible fate. 

[Illustration: Elephant, drinking chocolate milk. ]

"But she's a little girl!" said the bird. "She's a child! Childrenshould be allowed to enjoy their childhoods. This kid should learn toplay jacks or skip a rope. She should have some nice paper dolls todress up. She should have nice toys. She is too young to be a Queen. Lether live a happy life for a while before you go throwing all thatresponsibility on her. She's only a baby, for crying out loud!"

"She is a cute little thing, though, " Elephant remarked, half tohimself. 

"Cute?" Tweaty demanded in surprise. "That is hardly a reason to electsomeone leader. Especially over such a vast country as Oz. Maybe if Ozwere a little dinky insignificant country like America or Kansas, itwould be okay. But Oz is so much bigger than those places. Elephant, don't you think that adorable infant deserves a childhood to enjoybefore getting schlepped into Queenhood unprepared?"

Before Elephant could reply, an unexpected occurrence drove all idlethoughts from his mind. It all happened in an instant. 

From the ends of the earth to the top of the sky, an unearthly roarissued forth. It was as blood-curdling as a scream, yet as sinister as ared dragon's growl. 

Then, before the horrified trio, a gigantic spider loomed before them. It looked as if it were hungry, and it was so uncannily big that itcould easily have devoured all three of them in an instant! It mighthave, too, had it not been distracted by the sight of a small yellow catwhich was darting by. It took the feline in its massive claws and raisedher to its mouth. 

CHAPTER 3

THE FOREST MONSTER

Elephant stampeded frantically toward the scene, fearing for the life ofthe cat. 

"We'll need all the help we can get, " Elephant said grimly. "That animalis big! But it has poor Fisher the Cat. We can't let it eat her up!"

"Why not?" asked Nibbles. 

The Elephant slung himself against the Monster's leg as hard as hecould, but the creature did not even seem to notice. In a glance it wasapparent to the bird and the mouse that their companion was in trouble. 

"Elephant!" shouted Tweaty. "Get away from that thing! Look at itsteeth! It will eat your nose off! Get your body away from it!"

[Illustration: Elephant vs. Forest Monster]

But Elephant was determined. He made a loud trumpet noise and steppedon the Monster's foot. With a howl of pain, the Forest Monster droppedthe cat. 

"What do you think you're doing, to try and eat Fisher up like that? Apoor defenseless cat! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I wasn't going to eat her up, you dolt!" said the Monster in a cold andscratchy voice. "I was trying to see if it was a lion. I was told by acertain squirrel that it was a lion who lopped my head off. "

"But you've still got your head, " Tweaty interjected. 

"Yeah, _now_!" said the Monster. "But it was a pain in the neck tryingto get it back! And before I could, my body began to shrink. I keptgetting smaller and smaller. I felt like Alice after eating the wrongthing!"

"Holy cow!" said Nibbles. "Are you saying that you were once bigger thanyou are now?"

"No, actually. I found myself a way to restore my size. "

"How is that?"

"I have captured a very magical insect-bug in one of my webs. Sweetlittle thing, too. Some people spray insects with a flit gun, but I liketo eat them up. Bugs are yummy in my tummy! But my little Lovebug isspecial. She doesn't go in my tummy. Instead, she gets to stay wound upin my web, only to be let free long enough to give me what I need. "

"What is that?" asked Elephant with a shudder. 

"The biggest and grandest thing in the universe is, of course, TrueLove. Even though shaped a bit like a cockroach, my Lovebug can producethe stuff inside her teeny little heart. All I have to do is chant acertain incantation and then to have her kiss me once or twice each day, and I stay as big as I like!"

"But that is terrible!" said Tweaty. "You can't abuse Love that way!Love is supposed to be beautiful and friendly and stuff like that! Tocheapen this sacred gift by forcing someone into submission by magic orforce is an abuse of Love, and not what the gods had in mind for us atall. If you are making this Love-insect your slave, you are abusing thewhole concept and also missing the point!"

With another tremendous roar, the huge spider was gone. He obviously didnot care for any more lecturing that day. 

"Good riddance, I say!" spoke Nibbles. "That big old thing was ugly! Andit smelled awful!"

"Where's Fisher?" asked Elephant. 

"I think the thingy ate her up after all. "

"I sure hope not!"

"I'm fine, " came the feline meow. "Is that beast gone away yet?"

"It has, " answered the pachyderm. Oddly, neither Nibbles nor Tweaty feltthe slightest tinge of fear at the sight of the cat. In Oz, naturalenemies ofttimes become the dearest of friends. Indeed, Oz is a trulyremarkable land!

"I think I saw all nine of my lives flash before me that time!" said thecat. "What in the heck _was_ that thing that had me?"

"I don't know, " said Elephant. "But I hope we'll never see it again. "

"But you have to rescue that poor little insect!" said an earthworm, poking her head out of the ground. "Didn't you bozos hear what thatthing said about Lovebug? He's got her stuck in his sticky web, and heis treating her like a slave and he's even making her--ugh!--kiss him!How yucky can you get? You must save that poor little bug. She is a goodbug. Love is always good! Please help her. Please. I can't bear to thinkof her in that predicament!"

"It's a stupid bug, for crying out loud!" said Tweaty. "Don't you thinkthat we have more important things to do than to go and save a stupidbug?"

"But this is Oz, where everyone is equal, " Nibbles pointed out. "Even acat like Fisher is our friend. In this fantastic country, I'd think thateven a tiny insect is not beneath our concern. I think we should saveher. "

"Give me a break!" Tweaty said. "I'm not about to face that big uglyMonster again for the sake of a cockroach!"

"She is not a cockroach, " said the worm. "She is a kindly insect whohelps people in need to feel cared about. She has great powers to dothat for people. But that spider is misusing her powers and making herserve him in a most wicked capacity against her will. He is abusing herand she is probably miserable. How can you let him treat such a sweetbeing in such an awful manner?"

"I, for one, am willing to try to help save Lovebug, " said Elephant. 

"Me too, " said Nibbles. 

"I think. . . "

Before Tweaty could finish his sentence, a loud scream was heard. Hurrying toward the sound, they found Louie the Lobo with a paleexpression. 

"What happened?" asked Elephant. 

"Something took Tiger!" he said. "I didn't see who it was, but somethingtook him away while we were talking about the Tin Woodman. I don't knowwho would do such a foul thing! Tiger is my best friend! I yelled at thekidnapper, but to no avail. I have lost my best friend!" He began to crylike a kitten. 

"It must have been that awful Forest Monster-Spider!" Nibbles swallowedhard. "I know it was he who did this! He is so horrific! We must getword to the new Queen. We really must!"

"I agree wholeheartedly, " spoke Elephant. "We can not allow this sort ofthing to happen. Do you remember the last time enslavement was happeninghere in our Munchkin country?"

"I do, " said the mouse. "It was when that Wicked Witch had us allenslaved. Oh, she was ever so much worse than I had ever realized! I'mglad that house fell down and made her into mush. "

"But we cannot count on any houses falling down on this spider man, "said Tweaty with certainty. "You are quite right when you say that weshould do something about it. I was being awfully selfish when I refusedto do anything to help that little bug. But now my eyes are opened. Tothink that not even a tiger is safe in that Monster's wake! This meanssure danger for birds and mice and elephants, too!"

"Then let's go and inform the new Queen straightaway!" trumpetedElephant. "I am willing to believe that she has the power to help us ifanyone does. "

"But we should have something to show her to prove that we are notinsane, " said Nibbles. "After all, who would ever believe that such abeast could exist? It isn't natural. And besides . . . "

He cut his sentence short when his eye fell upon a large marking on theground. 

"Gads!" exclaimed Elephant. "That is one of the Monster's footprints!Goodness! Just look how deep it is! That creature must weigh a milliontons!"

"Yes, " agreed Tweaty, flittering into the hole. "This footprint isalmost as big around as a horse! And look at the size of those claws!I'll bet it could rip Elephant in two without even straining itself!"

"Let's not discuss that, " shuddered the pachyderm. "But I think weshould save this footprint for the Queen. Because she is a mere child, she will be most impressed by its mass. I think we should make a cast ofit and carry it to the Emerald City to show her what we are up against. "

Nibbles and Tweaty hurriedly went to a nearby maple tree and gnawed atits trunk for a time. With Elephant's help, they poured some maplesyrupy sap into the footprint. Elephant blew on this with his stronglungs until it hardened. Then, there before the trio, was a perfect castof the Forest Monster's footprint. 

Eagerly Elephant snatched it up in his trunk and flung it onto his back. 

"Let's get on our way, " he said. The other two nestled upon his headand they were off to the Emerald City of Oz. 

CHAPTER 4

AN UNLIKELY TRIO OF FRIENDS

Elephant, Tweaty and Nibbles were ready to leave, and it seemed thatdozens of other forest animals were of the same mind. The ferocity ofthe Forest Monster had led many of the denizens of the Lunechien Forestto panic. Many of them wanted to tell the Lord of the Forest about thetrouble, while others elected to go to Glinda the Good, who ruled overthe neighboring Land of the Quadlings. Animals were running to and fro, and there was a mass of confusion. 

"Look out!" Nibbles cried suddenly. "That Unicorn is coming right atus!"

Elephant was helpless in trying to avert the disaster. An abnormallyfrightened Unicorn, undoubtedly made nervous by the excitement, had lostcontrol of her footing. She plowed into the rear of the elephant with ajolt which nearly flung the two passengers on his head into GlowingLimbo. 

Retrieving his companions and determining that they were unhurt, helistened for a few moments to the oft-repeated apologies of the Unicornand then set out again. 

"I sure hope that Queen Ozma can do something about that ugly brute, "said Nibbles. 

"If she can't, we'll be no worse off than when we started, " repliedTweaty. 

The subject was dropped there. Elephant had run most rapidly and thetrio was now approaching the Emerald City. 

"Excuse me, " said the man at the gate. "Who are you and what is yourbusiness in the Emerald City?"

"We want to see the child who has become our Queen, " replied Elephant. 

"On what grounds?"

"On the ground I'm walking upon now, I suppose. Is there a problem?"

"What is your business with the Queen? If you are here to make fun ofher age, you are welcome to go away. Queen Ozma was sent to us by theFairy Queen Lurliné herself, and she has our respect. Even though she isa tiny child, she is not to be made sport of. "

"No one is making sport of anyone, " said Elephant gruffly. "Though ifyou don't get out of my way I may decide to use you for a football. "

"That will not be necessary, " said the guard. "But you will need to weargreen glasses. It is a rule that was set up by the Wonderful Wizard ofOz himself. It is because of the gleaming magnitude of all the biggemstones everywhere. If you don't wear these special glasses, you mightwell be blinded by their brilliance. I hope you won't object to this. "

"Well, " said Elephant. "I fear that your glasses will not fit someone mysize. Nor, for that matter, the smaller sizes of my companions. "

"Jeepers, " said the guard. "I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps you'reright. " He practically threw himself into his chestful of green glasses, but found none that would fit the animals. "I guess I'll have to makeyou some. This may take a while, so you'll have to find something to doin the mean. "

"How about we go and talk to the Queen while you make us our glasses?"suggested Nibbles. 

"A grand idea!" replied the guard. He opened the gate and the companyentered. 

The Emerald City of Oz is a truly remarkable place. It has had so manyvolumes written about it that it hardly needs a description here, but itshould be noted that our trio was most impressed. 

Ozma, too, was very impressive. They came upon her while she wasengrossed in playing paper-dolls with another little girl on the palacesteps. 

[Illustration: Ozma]

"Excuse me, your Majesty, " said Elephant. 

The child looked up from her game and smiled at the pachyderm. "Hello, "she said quietly. 

"My Dear Queen, " said Elephant, "I and my cohorts are from the LunechienForest of Oz. It is situated in the Munchkin Country, and we are proudto call ourselves your subjects. "

"Thank you very much, " Ozma said politely. "Do you want to playpaper-dolls with us?"

"I--er, well, I suppose at some point I could be persuaded, " stammeredElephant. "But I have come on very important business just now. "

As the animals watched, Ozma seemed to make a complete transformation. She remained a child, but her eyes suddenly grew solemn and she raisedherself from her seat on the steps. Even though very young andinexperienced, the Child Queen took on an appearance of regal splendor. It made Elephant want to bow down before her, and this he promptly did. It was fortunate that Tweaty could fly, but unfortunate that Nibblescould not. Tweaty zoomed into the air without mishap as soon asElephant's head went down in his bow. Nibbles, however, was thrustthrough the air by the impact of Elephant's exuberant show ofsubjection. He flew toward the child and did not stop until he becamecaught in her pocket. Ozma, being that she was only a little girl afterall, began to scream until Elephant reached into the pocket with histrunk and retrieved the rodent. 

"Thank you, " Ozma said, composing herself. "When I was a little boynamed Tip, I'd have probably thought that very funny. But I am beginningto feel like Ozma again. This is who I am truly destined to be. Now tellme, what is the nature of your call?"

Elephant and the others quickly explained about the Forest Monster andhow they feared for their lives. As they spoke, the child grew more andmore solemn. 

"It is hard to be a ruler over such a big land as Oz, " spoke the childafter she had heard the news concerning the spider creature. "But I amnot willing to allow such a fiendish creature to harm any of mysubjects. I do not know of your Lunechien Forest, but I will do all inmy power to assist you. "

[Illustration: Lurliné, leader of the fairies]

CHAPTER 5

THE QUEEN OF OZ

The magic of Oz began with little more than a simple wish. The man whoruled at that long-forgotten time, King Ozroar, was not a very happymonarch. He ruled the beautiful land, but he had no magic with which toinsure the happiness of the people. Sickening fogs would envelop theland from time to time, and the area was never very prosperous. Still, it was too beautiful to go overlooked by the fairies. These magicalbeings are able to see things as they should be, not only as they are. One fairy who was especially interested in the land of Oz was a leaderof fairies named Lurliné. 

Lurliné was no ordinary fairy ruler, though. She had especial insightinto the things that made beauty what it is. It was her keen insightthat once brought her to Mount Olympus. This legendary mountain has longbeen said to be the home of many ancient Gods. According to the Ozianstorytellers, who still today will sit by your campfire and tell you atale in exchange for a cup of tea or a morsel of food, these Immortalsrecognized her abilities at once, and she was admitted into theirsociety of Godhood. As a Goddess, Lurliné was able to gain access tomany things. 

With the help of her fairy band, as well as the input of her sisterfairy, Polychrome, Lurliné was able to give the Land of Oz the magicalenchantment that made it what it is today. But she did not do the deedwithout a few pitfalls. 

Among the things that Lurliné required to fulfill the spell's needs wereApollo's own sky chariot, the flying horses to pull it through the air, Kolé's essence of crystal, and Lillith's brazier of endless flame. AtPolychrome's suggestion, she also obtained Iris' jug of rainbow. 

Unfortunately, Lurliné was not always scrupulous. In this event, sheelected to take the various magical requirements without the permissionof the various deities. She stole into their chambers at night as theylay sleeping and took the elements she wished. She then went togetherwith her fairy band and performed the enchantment over Oz. 

She was banished from Mount Olympus as a result of her rash action. But, supposing the legend is all true, the marvelous Land of Oz remains as aglowing tribute to the powers of the Fairy Queen Lurliné. And to insureits longevity, Lurliné arranged for a fairy ruler to watch over thecountry she had created. Of course, the ruler would have to be a nativeOzite. She would be a beautiful princess. 

Princess Ozma was born several generations later unto a descendant ofOzroar and his wife Ozia, herself a descendant of fairies and daughterof Oziana. Young Ozma was prepared to take on the leadership of Oz uponreaching adulthood. 

But Lurliné's plan was balked by the arrival of Oscar Zoroaster PhadrigIsaac Norman Henckle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. This was a mortal man fromoutside of the enchanted land who landed there in a balloon. It had beenhe who had erected the Emerald City, and he who had sold the infant Ozmainto slavery at the hands of a heartless old Witch named Mombi. To hidethe infant queen, Mombi had transformed her into a boy. She believedthat no one would ever think to look to a little boy to find the fairyprincess, so Ozma was aptly hidden away for a very long time. 

But things in Oz do have a way of working out for the best. After Diggsleft the country, Ozma was found and restored to her proper being. Shehad aged very little, being that Oz folk age only when they choose to, and little Ozma had just been given her rightful place on the royalthrone. Most of this history, of course, was unknown to Elephant andhis companions. They saw only the fact that she was a child. They didnot know of her unique experiences at all. If they had, they'd havesurely recognized that she was more aware of human needs and thedifferences there connected. But even to their eyes, it was clear thatthis child was very special. They had every hope that she would be ableto do as they needed done to rid their land of the terrifying ForestMonster. 

[Illustration: Tiger caught in a Spiderweb. ]

CHAPTER 6

THE GIANT SPIDER

Tiger growled as he watched his captor wrap him in the strong webbing. He was a fairly small tiger, but he was accustomed to being larger thanany spider he had ever heard of. This spider, he felt certain, was somesort of a freak of nature. Perhaps a direct result of the humans'constant littering, or maybe a military experiment gone haywire. 

"Ahh, my little pussycat, " laughed the creature. "I have you now. Thereis no need for further struggle. "

"Like I told you before, " grumbled Tiger, "I am not a lion. I am astriped tiger. Can't you see that?"

"I can admit that you do not look like what I had in mind, " replied thespider. "However, you are feline in nature. That is all I care aboutjust now. "

"But it wasn't me who beheaded you. I am innocent!"

"Perhaps, " the spider seemed unconcerned. "Perhaps what you say is true, and then again, perhaps you're Lion to me. In any event, you are at thevery least a distant cousin to that animal that lopped my head off. Whenhe hears that you are in my clutches, he'll be here. "

"But this is a small, rarely traversed forest, " said the tiger. "Itisn't often that news from the Lunechien Forest gets out to the rest ofthe country. "

"Then you shall stay here as my guest, " grinned the spider. "After all, the little insect has been satisfying me less lately. I had been usingher sweet charity to keep myself giant-sized. " He stalked over to a wallon the far side of the cave. Indicating two yellowing papers withcrudely drawn human faces on them, he turned back toward his boundprisoner. "These are pictures I drew of the Great Masters. They createdme, and gave me the powers I possess. When they asked me to devour theirbald-headed little enemy, I was only too happy to comply. He had toomuch magic in him, however. I was sent away from my beloved Creators. "Tiger thought that the monster was about to cry, but he went on. "I madethe best of it, though. I became the leader of a lot of wild animals inan untamed wood. Oh, they never actually called me that. But they fearedme. You'd better believe it! They were scared spitless by me! Until oneday, when that . . . That . . . That LION came along and used my head as ifit were a baseball! But I'll get even now, little friend. Believe youme! I will find that lion, and I will chomp his head off! You just waitand see if I don't!" He turned to the drawing of the Witch of the East. "I will avenge myself on this lion for us both, " he said, crossinghimself. 

"But, really, " begged Tiger. "I have no argument with you. Please let mefree. I will help you bag your lion-prey. "

"Not a bit of that!" snarled the spider. "I have better plans for you. "

"Better plans?"

"Most definitely. As I was saying, the bug's no longer sufficient for myneeds. I am told that you have a powerful and courageous heart. Bold andfearless, is it not?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand your . . . "

"If I use your heartfelt emotions, which seem to be, er . . . Well, tiger-sized by definition . . . If I can do that, I can remain giant-sizedfor time and all eternity. I can be all-powerful! I will be the bravestarachnid on the face of the earth! And next, my little chickadee, I planto capture some little beasts that are called Hootsey and . . . Lisa, isit? Owls, I think. They are known for their wisdom and kindness to theirfellow Ozites. I care nothing for their kindness, of course. My powercomes from the negative uses of the senses. But I plan to make use oftheir immense knowledge. Oh, yes! And then, my dear little Tiger, THEN!I shall reach out to my definitive prize in all the Lunechien Forest. That big wrinkly fellow I saw not too long ago. He had a nose like agarden hose, but my little bug has unwittingly told me that he is theone to whom the forest beasts turn when they have problems. He likes tosolve problems, and has a phenomenal knack for it. He is wise beyond hisyears, and his emotions encompass all the land! He is also one of thestrongest and most bold beasts in all the Lunechien territory--evenputting the tigers like you to shame! When I can capture this Elephant, I will be all-powerful! I will be almighty! I will be superhuman! Then, I shall be able to take on the beast who has come to be known as theCowardly Lion. A most unfitting moniker, wouldn't you say, for a fellowwho swiped off my head while I was asleep one day?"

"You'll never get away with this!" roared Tiger. "Elephant is too bigand strong to be beaten by any spider--even one so large as you!"

"We'll see about that shortly, Shorty, " replied the spider. "Now, won'twe?"

CHAPTER 7

THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ

Meanwhile, word of the monster's plans for Tiger had reached Elephantand Tweaty and Nibbles via Hootsey and Lisa. The trio had been showingOzma the cast of the giant footprint when the owls flew in with thenews. Ozma was astounded that such a beast could live in her domainwithout her being aware of it. And indeed, the beast had kept a fairlylow profile until recently. But it was quite obvious that a powerstruggle was now going on. The beast was gradually finding out that hecould grow larger and stronger at the expense of others and would nodoubt not be satisfied until he was so large and powerful that everyliving creature would be under his domain. Why, even Ozma herself was indanger. The owls quickly informed her that the beast's first goal was tocapture Elephant in order to gain the super strength that would enablehim to attack the Cowardly Lion. However, she knew he had to absorbTiger's power and courage first before he would dream of attackingElephant. It was quite obvious he was going to have to think fast beforeTiger became a mere shell of his old self. 

Hootsey and Lisa were naturally quite concerned for their own welfare. They did not want their wisdom sucked out of them by a giant spider withvampire-like tendencies. One has to live a long time and learn by trialand error before one can truly be considered wise. Of course, somepeople never learn. They make the same mistakes over and over. However, that is neither here nor there. The point is that Hootsey and Lisa werein as much danger as anyone and were very anxious to help in any waythey could. 

"If I might make a suggestion?" said Hootsey. "I recently came upon someunusual creatures that could very well be a match for the monster. "

Of course, everyone was all ears, and fell silent as Hootsey began totalk. 

"These creatures are very unusual in that they are technically made ofglass and so would appear to be very fragile. But when they open theirmouths they are a most ferocious sight to behold. They are of a bulbousshape with very long legs that can move at the speed of light--"

At this point Nibbles intercepted Hootsey's graphic description. 

"These animals sound most interesting, but they don't sound particularlyferocious--"

"Oh, wait!" responded Hootsey. "I haven't told you the best part. Theirmouths are filled with razor-sharp teeth and they can rip any animal toshreds in two seconds. When a pack of them attack, the unfortunatevictim never even knows what hit him. It's over that fast. "

[Illustration: Owl describing Saber-tooth Light-Bulbs]

"And what might the name of these creatures be?" responded Elephant. 

"Well, " answered Hootsey. "Two important factors contribute to theirname. One is their ability to light their bodies up at night brighterthan a hundred glow worms. The second is when they open their mouths andexpose those teeth you would think you were looking at a Saber-Toothedtiger. Anyone want to guess their name?"

"_Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs!_" everyone responded in unison. 

They all began to feel a little better to know that perhaps the dreadfulspider-creature may not be so formidable after all. It was difficult toimagine how he could possibly stand up to a ferocious pack ofSaber-Toothed Light Bulbs. Of course, the next thing that must be donewould be to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs and see if theywould be willing to take on the monster. The little group was soengrossed in mulling this over that they did not notice a new visitor intheir midst. It was Tweaty who first noticed him and nudged Nibbles inthe ribs. Nibbles looked up to observe the strangest-looking little chapthat he had ever set eyes on. He was a sort of miniature FredFlintstone--short and pudgy. But he had a nose to beat all noses! Itwasn't that it was long or funny shaped or anything. It was just big(and I really mean BIG!). Anyway, when Tweaty poked Nibbles in the ribs, it was a pretty hard poke. And Nibbles let out quite a yell. Everyoneturned to look, and saw the stranger. 

"Excuse me, " said the stranger. "I didn't mean to intrude. But I saweveryone here having a meeting and I didn't want to interrupt. However, since I now have your undivided attention, I feel duty-bound to conveythe reason for my being here in the hopes that you will not consider itan intrusion on your privacy. "

"Well, he is certainly polite, " commented Hootsey. "It is my consideredopinion that we should hear what he has to say. "

"By all means, " everyone said, nodding in unison. 

"Well, my mission is really with Queen Ozma. You see, my people haveencountered some border skirmishes with our neighbors to the north andwe were hoping that Queen Ozma could use her good offices and apply herdiplomatic powers of persuasion to encourage them to retreat back intotheir own territory. You see, they are very aggressive in nature;whereas we are a very passive people. "

"Might I ask if they have made any formal declaration of hostilities?"asked the Queen in her best adult voice. 

"Well, no. Not exactly, " responded the little chap. "Perhaps the bestway of clarifying the situation would be for me to read this copy of arecent speech our President gave to our parliamentary congress. " Withthat, he pulled out a rolled-up manuscript from his coat pocket with aflourish and began to read;

"'Ladies and Gentlemen: I have called this emergency session of the FiveHundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress to inform you of somevery disturbing developments along our northern border. As president ofthe Sniffer Nation, I need not remind you of the delicate nature of ourhighly sensitive olfactory organs--our noses. And would you believe thatour so-called friendly northern neighbors--the Stinkfoots--have recentlyseen fit to ignore all previous treaties and sense of common decency!They have caused great distress among our border residents by not onlybuilding new residential dwellings right smack up against the border, but have blatantly crossed the border in ever increasing numbers andbrazenly thumbed their ridiculously small noses at Sniffer citizens whowere unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They have also beenobserved taking soil samples from our rich bottom land. The reasons forthis are now known to us. You will be shocked to the core when I revealthis to you in a moment. In the meantime many of our border residentshave become so overwhelmed and nauseated by the smell of the Stinkfootsthat they have moved lock stock and barrel to the city. I immediatelydashed off a letter of protest to the Stinkfoot President, demanding animmediate withdrawal to the previously negotiated line of demarcationtwo miles north of the border. '

"I do not wish to alarm our citizens to the point of panic, but I shallnow read to you their President's reply:

"'To President Humongous Schnozzle; distinguished Members of the FiveHundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress of the Sniffer Nation;and to all of the humble citizens of your fair land. 

"'First, let me apologize for not entering into new negotiations regardingour present expansion. But due to a severe blight on our stinkweed crop, which as you know is our staple diet, our people are becoming severelymalnourished. I'm sure that you are all well aware that we are greatlydependent on the stinkweed plant for many purposes, the least of whichis the manufacture of stinkweed pills which we all partake ofreligiously in order to maintain that rich aroma that permeates ourbodies, but which mainly radiates from the area of our feet. As youknow, our olfactory senses are virtually nonexistent, but we are awareof a slight essence of this aroma which we find most pleasing. Unfortunately for others who might stray across our borders, the smelloverpowers them in seconds, rendering any potential invader helpless. Now, as a result of the factors I have just presented to you, we findyour bottom land by our northern borders to be extremely rich innutrients that the stinkweed plant needs to flourish, and preliminaryexperimental results indicate that stinkweed plants grown in thisenvironment are completely immune to the blight that is wiping out ourcrop. Therefore, we have no option but to take as much of your land aswill insure the very survival of the proud nation that we are. That iswhy we did not inform you formally or informally. The matter is simplynot negotiable. 

"'Sincerely

"'Stinky McFoot President (Past, Present and Future) of Stinkfootland

"'P. S. --It is not our fault that the Sniffer people have such big nosesthat their sense of smell is ultra sensitive to our presence. '"

The little group had fallen silent. "You know, " said Elephant to Ozma. "We are greatly sympathetic to their predicament. However, the situationwith the Stinkfoots and the Sniffers is diverting us from our realproblem--which is that huge, furry, ugly, filthy putrid monstrosity whocalls himself a spider. "

"That's very true, " said Ozma. "But remember, we have to negotiate withthe Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs before we can do anything. In themeantime, the President of the Sniffer Nation has asked our help and wesimply cannot refuse. He and his people are in a real bind. "

"I'll be in a real bind if that monster attacks me, " snapped Elephant. "I'll be bound up in his giant web and devoured to death. "

"Now don't you worry, " Ozma replied, reaching up to pat Elephant'strunk. "We won't let anything happen to you. "

Her answer must have satisfied Elephant, because he wrapped his trunkaround her waist and hoisted her up to his back. Then he walked down tothe stream and took a long drink. As they returned to join the group, Hootsey was clearing his throat and proceeded to speak with pure wisdomdripping from every word. "I have been thinking. . . "

Before he could continue, Lisa interrupted him. "I can see that you'vebeen thinking because smoke is coming out of your ears. " Of course shehad a twinkle in her eyes when she said this, but Hootsey did not seethe humor of it. 

"Well that's very funny, Ha! Ha!" he said dryly. "I'm dying of laughter, Ho! Ho! Ho!" After he finished glaring at Lisa, he continued . . . "So, anyway, as I was saying, " again glaring at Lisa, "_before I was sorudely interrupted!_ There is great diversity in Oz. I mean, there areso many different kinds of people, yet for the most part we all getalong fairly well. Oh, we have our differences of opinion. No questionabout it. But we seem to resolve them without too much upheaval. Well, most of the time. Anyway, the point is--"

At that, Tweaty interrupted. "I can see immediately that you have neverbeen to Chilepepperland. "

"And where, pray tell, is Chilepepperland?" enquired Hootsey with a hintof cynicism. "And why have I never heard of it?"

"Perhaps you've never heard of it because you're too busy trying tothink of wise things to say, " interrupted Nibbles. "After all, you havea reputation to uphold. "

Hootsey could not be sure if Nibbles was being a "smart alec" or wasjust paying him a complement. 

"Chilepepperland is beyond the great desert, " answered Tweaty, "in avery remote region which is surrounded by impenetrable terrain composedof jagged rocks. There is only one narrow passageway which twists andturns every which way through the rocks. The sides of the passageway arequite sheer. If you were looking down from above, it would just seemlike a chasm because you cannot see the path at the bottom. Besides, theroad disappears in places where it goes under the rocks. The entrance iscompletely hidden by prickly pear bushes which are plentiful in theregion. That is why no one has ever heard of Chilepepperland. Because itis basically cut off from civilization. "

"How did you discover it?" Elephant asked with genuine curiosity. 

"Well, " continued Tweaty, "I happened to be flying over the area one dayand spotted a group of green chilepeppers having a picnic. They invitedme to lunch and told me all about their turbulent history. It seems thatChilepepperland was first occupied by several tribes of red chilepepperswho were, for the most part, peace-loving. Oh, they had occasional smallskirmishes among themselves. But they lived in relative harmony for manymany years; living off the land which they treated with great reverencebecause it provided all their food. They also had great respect for theanimal kingdom. They were never wasteful; giving constant thanks to thegreat spirit who, they believed, watched over them and provided for themabundantly. They believed in sharing their bounty with one another, andthis they did frequently with great ceremony. Then one fateful day, thefirst group of yellow chilepeppers arrived from a foreign shore. Atfirst there was a mutual understanding between the newcomers and theindigenous people. The red chilepeppers were very helpful in assistingthe newcomers to adapt to their new surroundings. In return, they weregiven trinkets that sparkled, such as colored glass beads, hand mirrorsand such, the like of which they'd never set eyes on before. The redchilepeppers were an innocent people, really quite primitive compared tothe sophisticated so-called civilized newcomers who, incidentally, werevery quick to take advantage of the childlike trust the red chilepeppersdisplayed in their early contacts. They moved quickly to take fulladvantage of these simple trustful souls. And as more and more yellowchilepeppers arrived, they moved across the country taking whatever landthey needed without any regard for the previous occupants. This lead tomuch fighting and eventual total conquest of the red chilepeppers whowere forced to give up their beautiful lands and moved to less desirableareas. This broke their spirit, for they were once a very proudpeople--roaming at will the vast prairies and forests. And to this daythey remain second-class citizens, really. Never able to assimilate intothe world of the yellow chilepeppers, nor ever able to return to thetotal freedom they once knew. "

"That has to be the saddest story I've ever heard, " said Elephant. "Those yellow chilepeppers are just rotten dogs! How could they treattheir fellow chilepeppers that way just because they were red instead ofyellow?"

"I assume that they were uncomfortable with people who they considered'different, '" answered Ozma. "Also, they wanted the best land forthemselves. "

"Anyway, that's not all, " continued Tweaty. "After they took those lushlands away from the rightful owners, they desecrated much of it over theyears, seeing it only as something to take from and to pour harshchemicals into for various reasons of their own. The red chilepeppershad always blessed the land, given it thanks for its bounty andreplenished it when they took from it. Yet the yellow chilepeppersconsidered them primitive and savage. And that's still not all! Thegreen chilepeppers went on to tell me about the treatment that _they_received at the hands of the yellow chilepeppers. It seems that theyalso lived in a land of their own far away across the Nonestic Ocean. One day a group of yellow chilepeppers, who were visiting the area intheir ship, came ashore and captured some of them and took them back toChilepepperland and sold them to plantation owners in the southern partof Chilepepperland . . . "

"Oh, come on!" said Nibbles, who had been very silent all this time. "You can't sell people. "

"In those days you could, " Tweaty responded. "At least, according to thegreen chilepeppers I talked to. They not only sold the people theycaptured as slaves, but they went back again and again to capture moregreen chilepeppers and sold them, too. And by the way, a lot of thegreen chilepeppers died in the terrible voyage en route. "

"But how could the leaders of the yellow chilepeppers allow this tohappen?" asked Ozma. "I would never allow even an unkind remark to passbetween them if I were their leader. And I would have made the yellowchilepeppers take the green chilepeppers back to their own peopleimmediately. "

"Well, as a matter of fact, " continued Tweaty, "the yellow chilepeppers'leader lived in the north, and he thought very poorly of thisarrangement. A lot of other people agreed with him, and he abolishedslavery forever from the land. But it caused the yellow chilepeppers tofight among themselves and, to this day, some yellow chilepeppers stilldo not consider the green chilepeppers to be equal in status tothemselves--and can be quite discriminating in their treatment of them. That is, when they can get away with it. They even confine themeconomically and socially to areas that are less desirable to live. Quite naturally, this causes great resentment among many of the greenchilepeppers and sometimes their anger is unleashed in unfortunate ways. This in turn causes an even greater chasm between the two groups. "

"How terrible!" Elephant said. "Chilepepperland sounds like a horribleplace to live! I hope I never even have to visit there. "

"It sounds to me, " said Ozma, "that if every single chilepepper wholives in Chilepepperland really wanted to, they could live in Peace andLove and Harmony alongside each other forever and ever. And then itwould be a perfectly wonderful place to live. "

"The problem as I see it, " said Hootsey, looking as wise as he could, "is that for every chilepepper of whatever color whose heart is filledwith love and kindness for his fellows, there are probably several whocannot generate those feelings within themselves. So I predict that theunfortunate state of affairs in that dark land will continue for quitesome time to come. It's a very negative prognosis, I know. But theaccumulated wisdom I have acquired over many years tells me that this isso. "

"I know one thing, " said Lisa. "The people who live in the land whereDorothy comes from are much too intelligent to allow such foolishness toexist there. "

The other members of the little group turned to each other knowingly, and slowly shook their heads. For they knew that the unfortunate fact ofthe matter was that the land where Dorothy came from had had a similarhistory. In fact, even as I write these words, there are people in themortal lands who have lost their homes and all of their worldlypossessions, and many, their lives, simply because they had themisfortune to be born different in some way than their neighbors. 

Everyone became very quiet as he assimilated all that had been said. Ozma spoke first. "I would like to read, if I may, a poem from a littlebook given to me by a dear friend. I was reminded of this poem whenTweaty spoke of the difficulties the green chilepepper peopleencountered. The poem was written by a mortal human named William Blake. It is called _The Little Black Boy_. "

 _My mother bore me in the southern wild And I am black, but O my soul is white White as an angel is the English child But I am black, as if bereaved of light. 

 My mother taught me underneath a tree, And, sitting down before the heat of the day, She took me on her lap and kissed me, And, pointing to the East, began to say:

 "Look on the rising sun: there God does live, And gives His light, and gives His heat away, And flowers and trees and beasts and men receive Comfort in the morning, joy in the noonday. 

 "And we are put on Earth a little space That we may learn to bear the beams of love; And these black bodies and this sunburnt face Are but a cloud, and like a shady grove. 

 "For, when our souls have learned the heat to bear, The cloud will vanish, we shall hear His voice, Saying, 'Come out from the grove, my love and care, And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice. '"

 Thus did my mother say, and kissed me, And thus I say to the little English boy. When I from black, and he from white cloud free. And round the tent of God like lambs we joy, I'll shade him from the heat 'til he can bear To lean in joy upon our Father's knee; And then I'll stand and stroke his silver hair, And be like him, and he will then love me. _

By the time Ozma had read the last line, tears were streaming downeveryone's face. 

"That is the most beautiful poem I have ever heard. . . " Elephant sobbed, as Tweaty dabbed his eyes with a tailfeather, ". . . And so very sad thatit will take so long for True Love to exist between all peoples. Onlywhen they realize that in the ultimate sense there is no differencebetween them. "

The story of the chilepeppers and the poem by William Blake lefteveryone in a very somber mood. But Time was not standing still, and youcan be sure that that mean-spirited old spider-monster was not lettingany grass grow under his feet. Even now he was no doubt growing strongerby the minute by sucking strength and courage out of any victim who hadbeen unfortunate enough to be caught in his deadly web. 

"We must be on our way, " Ozma said, shivering slightly. "Elephant, whydon't we all ride on you, and we'll talk as we go along and plan ourstrategy. "

"Good idea, " Elephant answered, picking Ozma up again. 

Meanwhile, Tweaty and the owls flew up and perched on Elephant's head. Elephant then lowered his trunk to allow Nibbles to jump aboard and belifted up behind Ozma. 

"Okay, every one!" shouted Elephant as he raised his trunk high in theair and let out a great trump which just about blew everyone off hisback. He then proceeded to waddle down the road making trumping soundsthat sounded suspiciously like a trombone playing the bass part to _Whenthe Saints go marching in_. In fact, pretty soon everyone was singingalong--

 _Oh when the saints Go mar chin' in. When the saints go marchin' in. Lord, I want to be in that number, When the saints go marchin' in. . . _

[Illustration: Sniffer and Stinkfoot arguing. ]

CHAPTER 8

THE JOURNEY TOWARD THE SNIFFER NATION

"As I see it, " said Lisa as they traveled along, "there is at least onemajor difference between the problems in the Sniffer Nation and theproblems of Chilepepperland. The Chilepeppers, so far as I candetermine, are different from one another only in their viewpoints. Somemay have had a better education than others, but all were bornessentially equal. On the other hand, even if they were born equal, theSniffer citizens have a real physical reason for their disagreement withthe Stinkfoots. If you will forgive my saying so, I cannot believe thateither group is necessarily better or more important than the other. It's just that they are physically unable to co-exist. "

"As much as it pains me to say it, " replied the Sniffer citizen, "I haveto agree. After all, the Stinkfoot people used to get along fine with mypeople, so long as we kept our distance from one another. Now that theStinkfoots are infringing on our territory, we are forced to take actionagainst them despite our former friendship. But there simply is noalternative. They are taking away our homeland, and pushing us away. There is no other option but to push them back. "

"It is a real problem when one specie overcrowds its territory, " addedHootsey. "It must pave away all other life forms to further supply itsown needs. "

"But no one has the right to crowd out what Nature has alreadyestablished, " said Elephant. "Just imagine the chaos it would create if, say, the human race were to become so plentiful that it was levelingrain forests and wiping out all other forms of life to make room foritself. "

"That would be terrible, " agreed Hootsey. "And it is exactly what theStinkfoots are doing. Once they have pushed the Sniffers into eitherisolation or extinction, they may continue to outgrow the territory theyoccupy and move into other regions where they will do even more damage. "

"They have to be stopped at any cost, " said the Sniffer man. 

"No, " said Ozma. "Not at any cost. Even though they are doing bad, theyare still counted among my subjects. They are not enemies to Oz, and Iwill not have them entirely devastated. Our plan has to be fair to bothsides, not just one. As we have said, neither side is better than theother. You yourself agreed. We can't allow either race to be lost infavor of the other. That would upset the balance of Nature. "

"But how else can we stop them from expanding to wherever they like?"asked the Sniffer citizen. 

"There has to be a fair way to settle the dispute, " replied the littleQueen. "And it is up to us to find it. "

"What if we forbade them from eating any more stinkweeds?" suggestedNibbles. "That way, they wouldn't smell so bad, and the Sniffers wouldhave no further trouble with them. Also, they would no longer need to beliving in an area that would help the stinkweeds grow. "

"You heard the letter, " answered Lisa. "They won't agree to that. Theylike the smell that they get from the weeds, and they believe it willprevent anyone attacking them. They would never go along with thatplan. "

"We're almost there" sighed the Sniffer citizen. "But we are no closerto an agreement. What can we do?"

"I intend to speak with your President, " replied Ozma. "And I will alsomeet with the Stinkfoot President. "

Ozma and the Lunechien party of five was greeted at the border of theSniffer Nation by President Humongous Schnozzle himself. Indeed, he musthave had the largest nose that Ozma had ever seen. It was longer thanthat of Elephant! "Probisquous!" he said joyfully. "You're back! And youhave brought an army with you!"

"Hello, Mr. President, " said the Sniffer messenger. "This is Queen Ozmaof Oz and with her are Elephant, Lisa, Hootsey, Tweaty and Nibbles fromthe Lunechien Forest of Oz. I have told them of our plight, and theyhave come to try and help. "

"And not a moment too soon, " said President Schnozzle. "The Stinkfootshave sent me another letter. This time, they are threatening to burndown our village if we do not surrender immediately, I hope that yoursmall army is prepared to stand up to them. "

"I did not come to fight, " said Ozma with a firmness that surprised evenher. "I want to see the two sides come to an arrangement. If that is notpossible, we may then have to resort to stronger measures. "

"I'm afraid that the Stinkfoots are beyond reasoning, " sighed PresidentSchnozzle. "The only recourse we have is to fight fire with fire. "

Ozma could see that the Sniffer President was not going to deviate fromhis present frame of mind without a struggle. "I do understand yourposition and I sympathize with your feelings, " she said. "However, before anyone does anything rash, I wish to speak to President McFoot. "

"Then I suggest that you hold your nose, " replied Schnozzle. "Otherwise, you'll be overwhelmed by the stench and probably pass out. "

"I'll take that chance, " said the little Queen. "Just give me an hour totalk to Mr. McFoot before you start any uprising. "

"I will give you all the time you want, " replied the Sniffer President. "At least, from my side. But if those stinkers start anything, you'dbetter believe that I will not sit doggo and let them destroy ourhomes. "

"Fair enough, " said Ozma. She then followed Probisquous to the edge ofthe Stinkfoot Nation. "I can't take you any further, " he said. "My eyesare already starting to water. I hope you can handle the stinkiness fromthis point onward. It gets worse the closer you come to those guys. "

Ozma thanked him and went on her way. Indeed, the smell was a potentone. She could see why it would ward off any potential attackers. Shetried to hold her breath, but that was not something she could doindefinitely. She tried holding her nose and breathing with her mouth, but that was hardly a dignified pose for the Queen of all Oz. When thestench became absolutely unbearable, she found herself face to face witha little boy who sported the tiniest nose she could have imagined. Itwas about the same size as that of a ladybug. His feet, on the otherhand, were enormous. "Who are you?" asked the lad. 

"I amb Queen Ozba of Oz, " she said with some difficulty. "I amb here tovisit with President Stinky McFoot of the Stinkfoot Nation. "

"I thought your nose was too small to make you a Sniffer, " he said. "Butit is sure a lot bigger than any Stinkfoot's. Hey, why are you holdingit like that?"

"I'mb afraid that I'mb having a hard time dealing with the sbell of thestinkweeds, " she explained, not wanting to hurt the boy's feelings bymentioning his feet, which Ozma felt certain were the real source of theoffensive smell. She believed that it would be better to avoid anystatement that might be taken as a gesture of insult. 

"The stinkweeds?" replied the boy. "But they are delicious. They are ourprimary food. "

This was not going very well, and the little Queen was already feelingnauseated by the stench. She would not be able to take much timeexplaining her situation before she became physically ill. Thisproposed a problem, as she had never known illness to exist in Oz. Still, it was a matter that would require a bit of research. "I bust seeyour President, " she sniffled uneasily. "Can you take be to himb?"

"Of course, " said the boy simply, taking a handful of the stinkweeds andeating it. "I can take you to his mansion, anyway. I don't know if he'llwant to talk. He is preparing to fight the Sniffers for control of thefertile lands, and is very busy with that right now. "

"That's just the thing, " said Ozma. "I need to discuss that batter withhimb. "

"Well, " said the boy, "you are the Queen. Follow me. "

Ozma followed the lad as quickly as she could under the circumstances. The smell only grew more pungent with each step. It was overpowering. But she knew that she had to help the two rivals to come to anarrangement quickly, as the Forest Monster could be doing nearlyanything at this point, and she was losing valuable time. She wishedthat she had sent the forest animals on to speak to the Saber-ToothedLight Bulbs without her, but she knew in her heart that such an actmight well have endangered her new friends. If she were not with theanimals, the Light Bulbs might well have attacked them. No, this was allshe could do. She only hoped that she had not chosen the wrong skirmishto settle first. 

When she came to the mansion of President Stinky McFoot, she saw that itwas expansive. It was a good sixteen acres wide, and had more rooms thanany one man could possibly make use of. She hurriedly knocked on theheavy oak door. 

Her knock was answered by a Stinkfoot who was dressed as a butler. "Yes?" he said to her. 

"I amb Queen Ozba of Oz, " she explained. "I amb here to speak to thePresident. "

"Queen Ozba of Oz?" replied the butler. "But you are just a child. Howcan you be the queen of anything? Except possibly a toy box. "

"I amb Queen Ozba!" she said. "I amb serious! I bean it!"

"Okay, " chuckled the Stinkfoot. "I'll play along for a moment. If youare the Queen of Oz, what is it you wish to speak to President McFootabout?"

"He is planning a war with the Sniffer Nation, " said the Queen. "I wantto try to find a better way for your people to solve your differences. "

"That is very touching, " laughed the butler. "But if you were really theQueen of Oz, you would surely know that the matter is already settled. The Sniffer-snuffers will have to let us have the land we need tosurvive, and that is all there is to it. Now, go home little girl. Wehave a lot to attend to, and there really isn't any time for yourgames. "

"But I amb really the Queen!" objected she. 

"Yes, " said the butler, "and I am Charles Dickens. My wife is the Queenof England. Now do run along. " He shut the door before Ozma had a chanceto say anything more. 

"This is not going at all as I planned, " sighed Ozma. But the pungentodor was already more than she could take, and she knew that she mustget to some fresh air immediately if she was to be of any practical useto either the Sniffers or the denizens of the Lunechien Forest. Dejectedly, she returned to the Sniffer Nation. She was gasping for airby the time she arrived there, and so she breathed in several lungfulsof the cleaner, purer stuff. It was a treat that she was grateful for. 

"So what did Stinky McStink have to say?" President Schnozzle asked Ozmaupon her return. 

"I did not get in to see Mr. McFoot, " said Ozma sourly. "But I sure didget a noseful of your immediate problem. "

"Our immediate problem is the fact that a bunch of people withstinky-feet are planning to attack and burn our village to the ground. Iam sorry, Your Majesty, but we are left with no other recourse but to goto war with them and destroy them all before they do it to us. Surelyyou can see that they are unreasonable and unkind and un-un--well, abunch of other words that start with 'un. ' We can't allow them toUN-ify us if we can help it, and we Sniffers are a proud people who willnot give in without a fight!"

"President Schnozzle, " sighed Ozma. "I am not trying to belittle you oryour pride. I just don't think that resorting to violence is the way todeal with any situation. It only leads to misery for both sides. "

"Not if we win, " replied the President. 

"In times of war, " said Lisa, "there are no winners. " The hoot-owl hadstayed back with the four Lunechien animals at the Sniffer President'smodest home, and was also a little disappointed at Ozma's failure tospeak to the Stinkfoot leader. So much had been riding on this meeting. 

But Ozma had not gotten in to see him, and the simple fact remained thatthey were no closer to a solution than they had been before. 

"Maybe we need those Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs right here, " suggestedNibbles. "Then the Stinkfoots would be too scared to start a fight. "

"I doubt it, " reasoned President Schnozzle. "I'm not even sure that anySaber-Toothed Light Bulbs could handle the stinky smell of thosebuzzards. "

"Maybe not, " said Hootsey. "But it is an idea. What if we were to scarethe Stinkfoots back into their own territory?"

"That may be possible, " said Ozma. "It looked to me like they had noproblem of overpopulation. It was really just their desire to grow morestinkweeds, and their incapability to do so in their soil. "

"That's right!" said Lisa. "But no soil can go indefinitely growing thesame crop. Anyone who lives in the forest knows that! And even theMunchkin farmers rotate their crops to keep their soil in balance. "

"Rotate it?" scoffed the Sniffer President. "You mean like a phonographrecord on a turntable?"

"No, " replied Lisa. "I mean that if, say, a farmer plants carrots in hisfields this year, he will plant something totally different next year. This way, the nutrients in the soil stay in balance and can be used toraise more carrots some other year. It's really very simple. It's kindof like replenishing with one crop what was diminutized by another. "

"So you think that, if the Stinkfoots were to grow carrots instead ofstinkweeds for a year, they could go back to stinkweeds next year?" saidthe President uncertainly. 

"I'd say more than likely, " agreed Lisa. 

"But, " put in Hootsey, "the Stinkfoots can't live without theirstinkweed. Or they refuse to, in any event"

"Maybe we have a solution, " grinned Ozma. 

"But we don't, " said Hootsey. "They will refuse to give up theirstinkweeds. You know it's true. "

"Not if they can have them, " said Ozma. "Listen, President Schnozzle. What would you think of letting the Stinkfoots use your land to growtheir food here this year, while the Sniffer farmers use the StinkfootNation to grow anything that they want to eat? You can simply switchterritories every year, and the rotation of crops will keep both of yoursoils fertile. "

The Sniffer President sat down in a wooden chair. He was obviously deepin thought. "You know, " he said after a time, "I think you havesomething there. If we can only state this plan to the Stinkfoots, I'msure it would work. I am beginning to recall that even our own farmershave spoken about this rotation of crops on at least one occasion. AndI'd bet that the stinkweeds would have made the soil over there idealfor our dietary staples!"

"More than likely!" said Lisa wisely. 

"This is all very nice, " said Elephant. "But how are we to propose thisidea to a people who is as unwilling to listen as a deaf tree-stump?"

"We have got to gain an audience with President McIdiot--I mean, President McFoot. I suppose it does me no good to make fun of hisfoolishness. "

"Not foolishness, " said Nibbles. "Just lack of education. I didn't knowuntil you guys just said so that rotation of crops was a good idea. Mr. McFoot just doesn't know about farming. He may be a very very wise manin a lot of other subjects. "

"I think you're right, " agreed President Schnozzle. "And I am sorry thatI reacted so harshly to his actions, which I can now see that he did outof true concern and love for his subjects. "

"In any situation, " said Lisa, "it is always best to act, rather than tore-act. It makes you look a lot brighter. "

"I wholeheartedly agree, " said Elephant. "However, we still have tofigure out a way to get McFoot into a position to speak to us. "

"Yes, " said Ozma, "that is true. If only we could lure him into aneutral place with a strong downwind, then we could . . . "

The little Queen's words were cut off as a sickening stench suddenlyblew in from the open window. A booming voice cried out, "That is thehome of Schtupidface Schnozzle! Torch the place!"

Schnozzle ran to the window and saw President McFoot in his militaryregalia, and he was backed up by several dozen Stinkfoots carryingtorches. 

"Oh, no!" moaned the Sniffer President. "We are too late!"

The entire party hurried out the door, but were too late to stop theoffensive army from setting fire to the home of President Schnozzle. 

"My home!" cried he. "My books! My teddy bear! My original Rembrandt!"

"Halt!" cried Ozma. "I am your Queen!"

"It's that silly little girl I told you about, Master, " said a Stinkfootthat Ozma recognized as the man who had answered the door. "Ignore thelittle scamp and let's get on with our revolution!"

"Wait a minute!" shuddered President McFoot. "I have seen pictures ofthe Queen of Oz in the newspapers. The place no longer is run by thatScarecrow man. I think this child is telling the truth!"

The Stinkfoot soldiers suddenly stood at attention and saluted Ozma. 

"Your Majesty, " spoke the Stinkfoot President, "I am sorry to inform youthat there is a war on. We have need of something that these Sniffersare not allowing us to have. Our survival depends on theirannihilation. "

"No, " spoke Ozma. "It does not. My dear friends from the LunechienForest have determined the problems with your crops, and we have come toa solution. " She quickly outlined the plan to rotate crops andterritory. 

"But the silly Sniff-heads have such a modest capitol building, " sniffedPresident McFoot. "I would not want to live in that little old shack, not even for a day!"

"In case you've forgotten, " said Elephant, "your troops have just burnedup that little shack. I suggest that you put them to work rebuilding itin such a way that it will be pleasing to you both. "

"If I go along with this idea, " said the Stinkfoot leader, "willSchnozface do the same?"

"I have already agreed to it, " said President Schnozzle. "Though I mustadd that the whole place be fumigated before we trade back. If you don'tbind, I'mb starting to feel a little queasy. "

With the situation settled, Ozma felt very pleased that there had beenno war. Still, there was the other matter to contend with. There maystill have to be a war to defeat the Forest Monster that was terrorizingthe Lunechien Forest. Of course, Ozma would have preferred that it besettled as well as this situation had been, but this Monster wasobviously not going to be ready to listen to reason for at least ajillion years. By that time, there may be no one left in Oz to stop him. 

CHAPTER 9

ONWARD TOWARD THE SABER-TOOTHED LIGHT BULBS

The Sniffers and Stinkfoots agreed to help in the Lunechien Forestshould their services be needed to help stop the devastation broughtabout by the spider-monster. President Schnozzle handed Ozma a smallperfume bottle that, when opened, would release a perfume that could besmelled only by a Sniffer, and would reach the distance from the forestin only a matter of minutes. Ozma pocketed the little bottle and thankedthe Sniffer and Stinkfoot Presidents. Then Ozma and the party of fivewas on its way to the land of the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs. 

"How far is it from here?" asked Elephant, who was still carrying theothers on his broad back. 

"Well, " said Hootsey, "it isn't exactly close. We will have to travelthrough some fairly rough territory to get to the Light Bulbs. But I'msure our pachyderm is up to it, if anyone is. And we do have our newQueen along as well. I really don't think we'll have too many problems. "

However, unbeknownst to the little owl, problems were exactly what layahead of them. The elephant walked on for a few miles without incident, but then came upon a marshy area. "I don't remember this place, " saidHootsey with disdain. 

The marshy area was barren of all trees. Stretched out before them laywhat seemed to be miles of reeds surrounding patches of dirty lookingwater with steam rising to form a veritable fog. The whole area lookedvery formidable and quite scary. 

"I don't like this a bit, " Elephant remarked, with a concernedexpression on his face. "Who knows what's laying in wait under thatwater? And it doesn't look as if we could get very far without walkingthrough it. "

"And who knows how deep the water is?" Tweaty said. "It could be twofeet or twenty; maybe even some of the solid ground is reallyquicksand!"

Just then a loud twittering sound was heard; soft at first but thenincreasing in volume to totally surround the little group. Then headsappeared above the reeds to signify the source of the twittering. Theheads were square; powdery white; and with round eyes like you might seeon a stuffed toy--except the expression on the square faces was anythingbut cute. One rather large creature stood up to reveal a body of thesame substance. His whole body looked as if it was composed of giantmarshmallows, including his arms and legs. 

"_I suppose_, " he shouted in a booming voice that sounded as if it werecoming out of the bottom of a barrel. "I suppose you people think youare going to traverse our lands. "

"Not really, " answered Elephant. 

"Oh, how silly of me. Of course you are just here for a picnic, "responded the creature with a sneer. "I should have realized. Quick!Grab 'em, boys!"

The little band was immediately surrounded by hundreds of the creatureswho threw fishing nets over them, then rolled out wooden cages onwheels. 

After everyone was confined in the cages, the leader stepped forward toaddress them again. 

"Big mistake. Big mistake you made coming here. Not one trespasser hasever set foot on our land and lived to tell the tale. You see, we arethe Keepers of the Crocodiles who live in these marshes and swamps. Andin return for keeping them well fed, they have agreed not to eat us andto allow us to coexist with them in these waters. The substance of ourbodies is a sweet marshmallow material and we would be prey to all kindsof creatures if we had to depart these lands. We were made of the samematerial you are at one time, but we made the mistake of crossing swordswith a Wicked Witch and in a fit of anger, before you could say 'JackyRobinson, ' she changed us into marshmallows. So here we are, and hereyou are, just in time to feed a bunch of hungry crocodiles. Which is toobad, really, but that's life--death sooner or later. And in your case, it's sooner. "

Elephant and Nibbles and Tweaty and Hootsey and Ozma and Lisa all lookedat each other with despair and foreboding. 

"Look, " said Elephant to the leader of the marshmallow people. "I am ahuge animal. My body will keep those crocodiles fed for weeks. WhileTweaty here, and Hootsey and Lisa, are tiny creatures. The crocodileswould not even taste them. Why don't you let them go?"

"Hmmmm, " murmured the marshmallow leader. "You have a point there. Infact, the crocodiles could get quite annoyed with us for feeding themsuch tiny morsels. Okay. We'll let them go. But what about her?" hesaid, pointing to Ozma. "She would be quite a delicacy. "

"Delicacy?" echoed Ozma. "I am not a delicacy. I am Ozma, Queen of Oz!"

The marshmallow man looked at the child and giggled. "You are the Queenof something? Yeah, right! And I suppose that next you're going to tellme that mortal men will one day be able to travel to the moon and back. Ha! That's a laugh!"

"But it's true!" argued Elephant. "Ozma is the ruler of Oz. "

"Indeed, " added Lisa. "I'll admit, I was also a little shaken when Ifirst learned that the Queen of Oz was a little girl. But you mustunderstand that Ozma is of Fairy descent. She is not like a mortal childat all. She has special abilities and powers that. . . "

[Illustration: Elephant and others in Cages]

"Silence!" shouted the marshmallow man. "I am not interested in hearingyour lies! This child is simply a tender and mouthwatering humandelicacy for the crocodiles to eat! That is all!" He looked at Ozma andlaughed. "Fairy descent? This is not a Fairy! I know about these things!Fairies are tiny little critters with wings like those on one of ourdragonflies. This is just a human child. A perfectly ordinary humanchild!"

Ozma looked at him indignantly, but she said nothing more. She knew thatit would be hard to convince anyone of her origin without some sort ofproof. And, indeed, what would serve as sufficient proof to convincethis Doubting Thomas? She knew all too well that, throughout history, skeptics have always been known to cling to what they thought to betruth, even when it was a foolish belief that they were clinging to. Indeed, mortals in America had placed a great deal of faith in asubstance called radium. A highly radioactive and dangerous substance, radium was being treated as a miracle medicine that had been hailed as acure-all for anything! This marshmallow man was every bit assmall-minded as the mortal men. If she were going to prove her positionand power, she would have to break through the imaginary wall that hehad built up in his mind concerning the proper look of Queens andFairies. 

"My good man, " she said in her most dignified voice, "I can understandwhy you might assume what you do. It is true that I look more like alittle girl than the ruler of a vast country like Oz. And it is truethat some Fairy groups can be described as you have just suggested. However, it is also true that there are different kinds of Fairies, justas there are different kinds of marshmallows. The Fairy Queen Lurlinédoes not have wings, and she looks quite human, too. But if it is soimportant to you, I can probably meet with your needs in a satisfactorymanner. " She put her fingers to her temples and concentrated. 

"What are you doing?" asked the marshmallow man in puzzlement. Then:"Chicanery in Chittenango!" he exclaimed. "You have wings! But youdidn't have them a second or two ago!"

"Nor have I got them now, " explained Ozma. "But I have made myselfappear to you as you would have me appear. Because I am a Fairy, I canmake myself look any way I please. But underneath, I am still the samelittle girl I have always been. " The wings vanished again. 

"But how can this be?" shuddered the marshmallow man. 

"It is really very simple, " explained Ozma. "When I first took thethrone of Oz, I had the same blonde hair that you see me with now. But Imight decide one day to be a brunette. " Her hair suddenly changed coloras she spoke. "Or even a redhead. " Again, the child's hair changedcolor. "Why, if I had a mind to, I could even make it green!" Again, herhair color changed. "You know, I think I might want to try being abrunette once in a while. Just for a change, you know. And if ever Imust meet with dignitaries from another country--especially one of thosenarrow-minded mortal lands, I think I might want to appear to them as anadult. But, of course, I like being youthful, so I will not really age. I will just make myself appear that way on occasion when the situationcalls for it. "

The marshmallow man fell to his marshmallow knees. "Forgive me, yourHighness!" he said. "You really are a Fairy! I most humbly apologize formy mistake. But you must admit, you really did look like a mere humanchild. How was I to know?"

"I don't think it should have mattered, " said Elephant. "Do you reallyimagine that it is ever proper to feed any sentient being to acrocodile? Even a regular mortal child?"

"You are a wild animal, " spoke the marshmallow man. "You should knowbetter than anyone that such is the way of survival. We do not want thecrocodiles to eat us, but we know that they must eat. I doubt that theywould be satisfied with tofu or falafel burgers, either. Thesecrocodiles are carnivorous, and they require fresh meat in order tosurvive. Would you have them become extinct?"

"He has a point, " said Hootsey. "We really can't blame the crocodilesfor their metabolisms. But we can't allow them to eat our Queen, either!"

"Oh, no, " said the marshmallow man. "Now that I know who she is, I haveno intention of feeding her to the crocodiles any more. "

"Nor any of my companions, " said Ozma in a tone of voice that would nottolerate any argument. "But you do have a legitimate problem. You arecitizens of Oz, and therefore my subjects. I will not allow any of mysubjects to be threatened by any carnivorous crocodiles. "

"Then the crocodiles will not be able to survive, " said Lisa sadly. 

"But nothing can actually die anywhere in Oz, " said Nibbles. 

"Then they will grow horribly uncomfortable if they can't eat whatNature dictates they should, " said Lisa. "I, for one, would rather diethan have a constant emptiness in my tummy or lack of energy due tomalnutrition. "

"Indeed, " agreed Elephant. "To go hungry is a terrible fate. Isn't theresome alternative?"

"Nothing short of allowing the crocodiles to eat you, " replied themarshmallow man. 

"Then all is lost, " sighed Hootsey. "Our benevolent ruler will have todecide who will be the recipient of her benevolence. It will have to bea choice between the carnivorous crocodiles or their natural source offood. One of the two must suffer. "

"How sad, " said Lisa. "I had always heard that rulers and queens had atough job, but I had always doubted it. On the surface, it looks likequeens get to live in beautiful palaces with servants who meet all oftheir needs. And they are allowed to go to bed any time they like, oreat chocolate ice cream for breakfast if they wish. But now I begin tounderstand why their lives are so difficult. I sure wouldn't want tohave to make a decision like that. Basically, you'll be condemning anentire race to extinction--just like the dodo bird or thewinkledejimpker!"

"Couldn't we use criminals and thieves to feed to the crocodiles?"suggested Nibbles. 

"I will not allow even them to be tortured this way, " said Ozma. "Even athief deserves a chance to make up for his past misbehaving. "

"Then what can we do?" asked the marshmallow man. 

"Hey!" said Elephant, suddenly having an idea. "There is a grove oftrees that grows near the Lunechien Forest. Some of the trees havefruits growing on them. Others have seed pods or alarm clocks or othersuch normal things that one always expects to find growing on trees. ButI think there are also a couple of ham and sausage trees there. I'll betthey would suffice for the crocodiles. Then they wouldn't have to eatany living creatures in order to satisfy their natural cravings. "

"A grand idea!" said the marshmallow man. "I have never heard of suchodd trees as those, but I'm sure the crocodiles will be thrilled tolearn that they no longer have to be hated and feared by their fellowbeings. "

"Of course, " said Lisa. "No one wants to be feared. And if they are nowable to get their meat without any stalking or struggling, they mightneed some other form of exercise to keep from growing fat or sluggish. Ithink we should organize some group activities that will allow thecrocodiles and owls to interact together as friends. "

"And maybe Pinky and I could arrange a similar thing for us elephants toget together with them. "

"I think the mice would be a little too scared, " shuddered Nibbles. 

"Not after I have one of those ham trees transplanted in their marsh, "said Ozma. She turned to the marshmallow man. "Would you be willing totake charge of that?"

"Of course, " he replied. "It will also make my own people live ingreater comfort to know that the crocodiles will never be hungry forthem again. But . . . Er, just out of curiosity, are there any marshmallowtrees around? Just to be on the safe side, you know. "

They all laughed. 

CHAPTER 10

ALL ABOUT THE GILLIGOGGS AND THE DROFFS

The Droffs and the Gilligoggs had never understood each other. They werea different people, really. For example, the Droffs were shaggy-lookingcreatures with forms that resembled the Wooly Mammoth. They had shortsquat legs like tree trunks; short squat little bodies with arms tomatch, and heads that were too large for their bodies with eyes thatwere buried beneath long straggly shaggy fur. Their voices had a deepgruff sound not unlike a cave man might have sounded, and their wordscame out in a torrent of grunts that did not vary in tone and that didnot exactly follow the rules of grammar. For example: "Who you?" "Whatyou name?" "How got you this place?" "Why you here for?" etc. Whereasthe Gilligoggs were quite elegant--even sophisticated--compared to theDroffs. They were tall and slender, with long delicate fingers that theywaved expressively as they talked. They also had long hair but it was assoft and sweet smelling as the Droffs' hair was coarse and pungent. Their faces were feminine looking (even the males) with long curlingeyelashes, delicately chiseled features, full lips, etc. The onlyperceptible difference between the males and females was that the males'voices were a little deeper, and they were a little taller. 

Anyway, as you can imagine, two peoples that were so different had verylittle love for one another. Why this should be I do not know, exceptthat people with different appearances seem to distrust each other, evenwhen there has been no physical aggression between them. Neither groupwould willingly mix with the other either socially or even live in theother's neighborhood. Each race pretty much kept to itself. 

I suppose that in a way, the Gilligoggs looked down on the Droffs. Theyconsidered them somehow inferior to themselves. The Droffs were wellaware of this and were deeply resentful. Now if you or I were to try toanalyze the exact reason for this, we might fall short of our goal. Wecould say that the Gilligoggs were far more intelligent because theirspeech was more sophisticated. But if you took the trouble to get toknow a Droff, you would find that, in spite of their crude manner ofspeech, they are, as a whole, equally as intelligent as the Gilligoggs, except that they express their intelligence in a different way. Anotherargument might be that the Droffs were not nearly so sweet smelling incomparison. Now, this may be true in one way, but in actual fact, theDroffs had just as high a standard of personal hygiene as theGilligoggs. It was just that the Gilligoggs' olfactory senses weresensitive to the natural scent of the Droffs (just as the Droffs'olfactory senses were equally sensitive to the natural scent of theGilligoggs). And while neither group found the other offensive in thisway, they could detect a difference, albeit on a subconscious level. Another argument might be that the Droffs had lower social standardsthan the Gilligoggs. This argument, too, has to fall by the wayside. Forreasons that we will not go into here, the Droffs had had difficulty inkeeping up with the Joneses, so to speak. Due to circumstances beyondtheir control, they had not done quite as well on a socioeconomic scale. So there you have it. And this was the situation that Elephant and hispals were confronted with after their excursion with the Marshmallowpeople. As they continued on their way to the home of the Saber-ToothedLight-Bulbs, they hardly expected yet another interruption. But ithappened all the same. A particularly tall and attractive Gilligoggwoman who looked to be about sixteen approached them. She had dark hairthat glistened in the sunlight in a particularly gorgeous manner whichreminded Lisa of fine silk. 

"Greetings, " said Ozma to the young lady. Even though she was notanxious to be interrupted again, she was always polite to her people. She knew that, in order to be a good ruler for the land of Oz, sheshould be aware of the individual needs of all of the Ozites. 

"Good morrow, " came the reply. The lady's voice was like music. Beautiful music such as is usually reserved only for the Fairies, angelsor gods. So in awe of this lovely lady were our adventurers that onlyOzma found her voice which, though beautiful in its own youthful manner, did not hold a candle to that of this Gilligogg lady. 

"I am Ozma, the Queen of Oz, " said the little girl. "My friends and Iare on our way to enlist the help of some people who live beyond yourterritory. I hope you won't mind if we pass through your lovelycountry. "

"You are the Queen, " said the lady. "I am only a princess. Far be itfrom me to tell you what you can or can not do. " She seemeddisinterested as she spoke. "My name is Dianna, and my father is theruler of the Gilligoggs. " If this young lady felt any doubt that Ozmawas indeed a queen, she did not let on. Indeed, she seemed unconcernedas to the identity of her queen. "But I shall tell you that theGilligoggs are the only people in this region. We are all that is here. Well, unless you count the Droffs. But you could not be looking for theDroffs. They are so far beneath your station. "

"Oh, no, " sighed Tweaty. "I think we are about to get stuck in themiddle of another time-consuming battle like the Stinkfoot and Snifferwar! This will not be a good thing for any of the Lunechien Forestdenizens. Why, for all we know, that Forest Monster may already havedestroyed all of our friends and neighbors back home!"

"There is no war here, " said Dianna matter-of-factly. "We Gilligoggs areabove such barbarous practices. Why, if I had to fight, I might break afingernail. But we do wish that the Droffs would go away. So long asthey are about, the property value on our homes must surely be going waydown. "

[Illustration Ozma and a Droff]

"My my!" said Elephant. "Are these Droffs some sort of frightfulmonsters, like the Kalidahs?"

"They are worse, " said Dianna with a most elegant and sophisticatedshudder. "They look like. . . Well, actually they look a lot like you, only they are all hairy and vulgar. You, at least, are not covered withall that coarse fur. Still, I wonder if you might be related to them. "She took a nail file from her pocket and looked at her hands in anuninterested manner. 

"So then, they are elephants?" asked Nibbles. 

"Shaggy elephants?" tweeted Tweaty. 

"Wooly mammoths?" questioned Lisa and Hootsey together. 

"Neither of those, " replied the princess. "They are just Droffs. "

"We did not come to seek the Droffs, " said Ozma. "Nor did we come to seethe Gilligoggs. We were looking for the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs. Arethey not in this area?"

"They are, " said Hootsey with certainty. "I know they are. "

"Perhaps, " said the young lady. "Perhaps they are among the Droffs. I donot know of them. Nor do I especially care to. They might beunpleasant. "

"But how can you know whether or not they are pleasant if you refuseeven to see them?"

"Best to be safe, " said Dianna. "Why invite trouble? We Gilligoggs havealways known that we are superior to all other living beings, so weavoid contact with anyone else. If we start to invite trouble, we'resure to get it in great doses. "

"But that's awful!" put in Tweaty. "You don't even give them a chance?"

"Why should we? They are not Gilligoggs. Heavens! They have the mostoutlandish-looking noses!" She eyed Elephant in a scrutinizing manner. 

"I think I should like to meet these Droffs, " harrumphed Elephant. 

"Then by all means please leave as quickly as you can, " said Dianna. "Iwould not want my people to have to gaze upon anyone who would associatewith Droffs. They are messy things at best. I had offered you a greathonor in speaking to you, but you obviously do not appreciate it. Hadthe dross not been with you, Miss Queen of Oz, I should not have evenacknowledged them. Good day to you. . . " So saying, the princess walkedaway without looking back. 

Our six adventurers hurried through the Gilligogg territory. Few of theGilligoggs even stopped to look at them as they passed through. Beforelong, they came upon a creature who looked a good deal like Elephant, and who was obviously a Droff. 

"Hey, " said the Droff. "Who you am?"

"I am Ozma, Queen of Oz, " said the child. 

"You much good to be here, " replied the Droff. "Me are called Biff. Whois them?"

Each of the five Lunechiens introduced himself. 

"Me likes Elephant lots, " said Biff. "Him look like Droff, but smooth. Him might relative to me I. Maybe like Droff. Ozma Queen and others likeeat? Droffs no have much, but share. Me have oatmeal with much gravy. For nice Queen, me even serve with sprinkles. Me likes Queen lots, andElephant. Have good seeds for birdies, too. Mouse want cheese? Me havesSwiss. Usually only haves Swiss on Sunday. It is holey. But for friendof good and nice Queen, me get some for nice little mouse. "

"How kind, " said Nibbles. "Thank you. "

The Droff, though not as graceful as he might have been, served up arepast that was happily received by his guests. 

"The Droffs are obviously more hospitable than the Gilligoggs, " saidTweaty. 

"Gilligoggs?" echoed Biff. "You am knowing Gilligoggs?"

"We just passed through their country on our way here, " explained Lisa. 

"Me wish me knew Gilligoggs, " sighed Biff. "Them not let Droffs passthrough. Not come to visit Droffs, neither. To Gilligogg, Droff landjust place to dump stuff they no want. "

"Stuff?" asked Ozma. "What stuff?"

"Old stuff, most, " replied the Droff. "Rotted foods. Old packages. Cigarette ends. You am knowing. Stuff. "

"What slobs!" said Lisa with distaste. "And that princess had the nerveto say that Droffs were messy!"

"But it explains why the Droffs have such low-quality land, " sighedOzma. "It isn't that the Droffs are unsanitary. The very reason theGilligoggs look down on the Droffs is caused by the Gilligoggsthemselves!"

"They are high and sophisticated, I guess, " added Hootsey. "But theirrefusal to see what they are doing to the world around them has madethem into a life form that is most undesirable. They have madethemselves become exactly what they dislike in others. "

"Me thinks that is not Gilligogg's fault, " said Biff, defending hisneighbors. "Me has seen that all hatred do that lots. If you hatesomething so bad that you try to be away from it a lot, you start to beturning into it you self. Me not like hate. Me hate hate mosthatefulishly. "

"Yes, " agreed Lisa. "When knowledge is used for cruel purposes, there isno knowledge any more. Both sides end up losers. I think the Gilligoggscould learn a lot from the Droffs. "

"Me thank you, owl bird, " said Biff with a smile. "You am nice. Me likesyou. "

"Me likes . . . I mean, I like you, too, " said Lisa. "Now tell me, do youknow of the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs?"

"Light-Bulbs?" echoed Biff. "Not know. Not do. Maybe friend know ofthat, though. Friend are much smart and also wise. Him have good anduseful glass head. Him and him's people living close nearby. Them haveseen much. "

"Hmmm, " said Ozma. "Have them got large, sharp teeth?"

"Oh, yes!" said Biff. "Much good for opening packages! Much nice, friends are. You be liking Droffs' friends. Me can take pretty queen andnice Elephant and friends to see Droffs' friend as shortly as you amfinishing eatings. Me can show to other Droffs, too. "

"I would like that very much, " said Ozma. "I think I will like theDroffs just fine. "

"And them would be liking you, " said Biff with certainty. 

As soon as the visitors finished eating, the kindly Droff led them to anadjacent valley wherein they saw bright lights. These, as Hootseyexplained, were the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs themselves. From adistance, they looked pretty much like ordinary light bulbs. But as ourlittle party drew closer, they could see the individuality of eachSaber-Toothed Light Bulb. One of the larger Light Bulbs saw themapproaching and lit up. "Look, fellows!" he said. "It's Biff! And he hasbrought some friends along!"

"Hi, Watts!" said Biff to the light bulb. "Me is so happy to seeing you!Me haves the Queen of Oz here, too. Her wants to meet you. Her are muchgood and nice. You are liking her?"

"Of course, " replied Watts. "Any friend of Biff's is a friend of mine!"He extended one of his long appendages to the small queen. She took itin her hand. "It is a pleasure, " said Watts to Ozma. "I had heard thatOz had a new queen. I am glad to see that you are a kind-looking one. "

"Thank you, " said Ozma. 

"So what can I do for you?" asked Watts, quickly realizing that therehad to be some sort of business that had brought the queen to see him. 

"Well, " began Ozma, not sure just how to begin her explanation, "theLunechien Forest of Oz has come upon a problem. "

"Oh, no!" said Watts. "That's awful! What kind of a problem?"

"It seems that there is a terrible monster that is threatening our fineforest, " she began. "A very large spider-like creature. "

"Sounds beastly!" shuddered the light bulb. 

"And he can sap away the energy from any living creature and render himan empty shell of himself, " added Tweaty. 

"My!" said Watts. "That does sound like a problem! Is there anything Ican do to help? If you need to move away from this monster, you arewelcome to join us. The Droffs and the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs are notcrowded in. We can make room. "

"That is very kind of you, " said the ruler. "But I was hoping that maybeyou could come and stand up to the Forest Monster. No one else can doit. Even I would hesitate to approach them. But I know that you could doit. How could any foe of any size stand against you?"

"You want us to fight this Forest Monster?" said Watts fearfully. 

"Well, " sighed Ozma. "I am not usually in favor of such cruelty. I wouldbe sorry to harm him. But I am left with little choice. Already he istoo strong to be reckoned with. I have been a queen for only a shorttime. I do have fairy powers, but am not anxious to face the ForestMonster myself. If you could at least back me up while I try to reasonwith him. . . "

"Don't waste your time, " said Tweaty. "You can't reason with that thing. It will bite you in half before you get past the greeting. "

"Say, " interjected Hootsey. "Maybe that isn't so. We have already seenOzma do some amazing things. She can change the color of her hair, forexample. Maybe she could use some of her fairy magic to scare away thespider! Why, if she can change her physical form, she could easilybecome a Giant or a Kalidah!"

Ozma looked fearful. "I'm not sure I'd want to try that, " she said. "Imight just make him all the more angry. He may already have more powerthan we think he has. But you do have a point. I do have some powersthat I should try to make use of. Having only been a fairy for a shorttime, I'm not altogether sure what powers I may have at my disposal. Alas, I was the boy Tip for so long that I have not had much practicebeing Ozma yet. "

"You could practice some magic on me, " said Tweaty, trying to behelpful. "Maybe you can turn the Forest Monster into a pumpkin orsomething. I don't mind if you practice on me, so long as you put meback the way I'm supposed to be. "

"That sounds like a good idea, " agreed the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulb. "But still, I'm happy to come along to back you up. That way, if I amneeded, I'll be there. If I am not needed after all, I will still havehad a nice bit of travel to write about in my journal. "

"You are very kind, " said the little Queen. "And I am sure that I mustpractice using my powers a lot more than I already have. This will be agood learning experience for me, and can only make me a better ruler forthe land of Oz. " She put her hands to her temples and concentrated onthe canary. 

"Am I changing?" asked the bird. 

"You look the same to me, " answered Lisa. 

"I need my Silver Wand, " said Ozma. "That often helps me while I'mgaining prowess at a new spell. " She had the magical tool with her, soshe took it from its case and made a number of intricate passes in theair with it. Still, Tweaty failed to change. 

"Maybe there are some words you're supposed to say while you're doingyour magic spell?" wondered Elephant. 

"Yes, " said Ozma as a Light-Bulb jumped over her head. "I think you'reright! Let me think. . . . I should know the word. " She again put her handsto her head and concentrated. "Haamhaamkablams-w, " she said in achanting voice. "Haamhaamkablams-w. "

Tweaty began to change in form and substance. Within moments, he hadtaken on the shape of a housecat. He still had his yellow feathers, however. "Awk!" he said. "Look what you did to me! This is the worstpossible form to place on a canary! Turn me back! Please turn me back!"

"I meant to make you a pumpkin, " sighed Ozma. "But this is still new tome. I will try again. "

This time, Tweaty became an orange elephant. He was no larger than hehad been as a cat, but his shape was very clearly that of a pachyderm. 

"How cute!" said Elephant. "You look like me, only smaller and oranger!"

"Yeah, " said Tweaty. "I guess I do. But I'm not sure this is going towork on the Forest Monster. If you were to change him into anothersentient animal, he'd just go back and do it all over again. You mustturn him into something inanimate. But please, this is veryuncomfortable. I'm used to being able to fly at will, and this formseems so . . . So ungainly. No offense, Elephant. I think you make aterrific elephant. But I make a lousy one. "

"But you do make a wonderful bird, " agreed the pachyderm. "Yes, Ozma, doput him back the way he was. As adorable as he is, he isn't exactly amodel specimen of my race. "

"Of course, " said Ozma, again raising her Silver Wand. She did her spellonce more. This time, nothing happened. "I am sorry, " sighed Ozma. "I amalready feeling exhausted. I'm afraid I will have to wait a while beforeI can do it again. "

"You mean, " said Tweaty, "I have to look like this until you are able torest up?"

"I'm afraid so, " said Ozma sadly. "I'm sure that will change as I growmore experienced. You have to remember, I am only beginning to get mysea-legs as a fairy. Once I am more proficient, I'm sure I'll be able todo things like this all day long without becoming exhausted. Just giveme time. "

"And in the meantime I have to look like a little orange elephant, "sighed Tweaty. "I'm sure glad my mother can't see me right now!"

"But Tweaty's not the main issue right this minute, " said Watts. "Notthat I am unsympathetic with his feelings or anything like that, but Ido sense a certain degree of urgency at getting to your Forest Monsterquickly. I'm sure that all of the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs will behappy to go and see what we can do. We are always anxious to help goodfolks like yourselves. And even though it isn't something I'm terriblyproud of, I can be very ferocious when I have a mind to be. " As if toprove his statement, Watts opened his mouth as wide as he could, revealing the sharpest-looking teeth Ozma had ever seen. Indeed, histeeth resembled sabres, which may have been the reason for their title. 

Elephant shuddered in his skin. "I'm sure that a few of you would aptlyfrighten the Forest Monster out of our forest, " he said tremblingly. "Hopefully out of Oz altogether!"

"Splendid, " replied Watts. "Come, follow me. I know a short-cut thatwill allow us to avoid the Gilligoggs. Not that I am afraid of theGilligoggs or anything. I just find them unpleasant to have to dealwith. Come this way, and we will soon be on our way to the LunechienForest of Oz!"

CHAPTER 11

. . . AND HE SHOWS THEM PEARLY WHITES

As the little group, together with a party of five of the Saber-ToothedLight-Bulbs, turned a bend in the road, they came upon a huge dried seabed. They could see for miles, and there was not a soul in sight. 

"I think we're in uncharted territory, " remarked Elephant, peering intothe distance. "I don't remember anyone ever mentioning this. But itlooks safe enough to cross. No more unpleasant surprises, I'm sure. "

At that moment a deep disembodied voice said, "Dinnah iss serffed, laddies and lassies, pliss shtep oop to da table. "

Everyone turned around to see who was speaking, but could see no one. 

Suddenly, several mounds of sand that they had not noticed before beganto quiver and slowly rise a couple of feet above the ground. The moundsshook themselves and the sand fell off to reveal about fifty _GreatWhite Sharks_. They were not suspended above the ground as it firstseemed, but were supported with legs like an alligator. 

This was a frightening scene to behold, as you can well imagine. Andwhen their leader approached our heroes, he repeated the words "Dinnahiss serffed, " and licked his lips with anticipation. 

He spoke again in that very strange accent, this time addressingElephant: "Vatt iss a madder vi' chew? You nebber seen land sharks'afore?"

"N-N-N-No, w-w-w-we h-h-h-haven't, " stuttered Elephant. 

"Habben chew?" the leader said, winking at his friends. "Den ah villshare some knowletch vi' chew to take vi' chew to da hereafter. (Theother sharks roared with laughter at this). Ven our ocean dried oopmillons off yearss ago, all da fishies died, includen uss sharks--exceptfor two, zat iss. Undt dare chilluns ver born vi' liddle leggies. Vearrda descendants off dose two, undt ve haff effolved over da yearss toour present selfs. Fully adapted to da land. Undt ve haff kept alive alldeess yearss on a steady diet off hunsuspecting helaffant. So vat chew'tink 'bout zat?"

"N-n-not t-t-too m-m-much, " answered Elephant in a high pitched voice. "I-I mean, I d-d-d-don't know wh-what t-to think. "

"Tell chew vat ve do, " said the shark. "Chew seem like nice a guyss. Veno eat chew tonight. Ve eat chew tomorrow--fer break'ast. "

[Illustration: Land Sharks]

All the sharks laughed uproariously, whereupon they surrounded ourheroes and promptly lay back down in the sand and went to sleep. 

"Well, " said Watts. "This is a fine how-do-you-do. But I don't think wehave to worry about these guys too much. I seriously doubt they couldeat glass, so we can protect the rest of you. " He smiled a very sharptoothy smile. "Besides, they seem to be very lazy. It isn't like they'veenclosed us in a cage or anything like that. What's to stop us fromsimply slipping out between two of them and walking away?"

"Ahh am, " came a rumbling voice. "Ahh am ze vatchman uff ze Land Sharks. But chew do have a point. Ve cannot eat glass. Ve can break it, but vecan't eat it. Chew are uff no value to us. Ve vill only be able to eatze meat creatchures. Chew that are a made from glass may go. "

Watts and his friends made their most ferocious faces at the LandSharks. "You will allow us all to go!" said Watts to the Shark. "Youwill not hold any of us back! Besides, we have with us the Queen of Oz. Your own Queen, for crying out loud!"

"Chew does have some pretty teeth, don' chew?" said the watchman. "But Iam not afraid of chew, zo chew should leave now. I do not know chust'zactly vat a queen might be, but I am sure that it iss delissious. "

"We do not have time for this, " hooted Lisa. "We are on an importantmission to save the Lunechien Forest of Oz from a gigantic ForestMonster, and you had better not hold us back! The Forest Monster isalready bigger than the lot of you, and he will come for you sooner orlater if you don't let us stop him!"

"Vorest Monzter?" echoed the great shark. 

"That's what I said, " replied Lisa angrily. 

"Chust vat iss ze Vorest Monzter made uff?" asked the shark. 

"Er, I don't know. Whatever monsters are usually made of, " answered thefemale owl. "Flesh and blood, I guess. "

"Und he iss ass big ass chew zay he iss?" asked the shark. 

"Probably bigger by now, " put in Tweaty, realizing what was happening. 

"Zen ve shall eat ziss Vorest Monzter!" said the shark. "Ve shall eathim 'til he iss only bones!"

Lisa was not entirely sure the Forest Monster had any bones, as shesuspected that spiders had exoskeletons instead, but she saw no reasonto bring this up at the moment. "Then you really don't need us. It isagainst the laws of the jungle to kill more than you can eat, and theForest Monster will easily tide you over for a good long time. "

Ozma was not quite happy with the way things were turning out. She wasnot an advocate of killing at all. The thought of her willingly placingone of her subjects--even one so wicked as the Forest Monster--in mortaldanger was a hard pill for her to swallow. Still, this development hadapparently removed the threat to her own hide. "Then we shall be on ourway, " she said. "I will wish you a good night. "

The shark thanked her and, having no one left that he had to guard, settled down to sleep among his fellows. 

"This is odd, " said Ozma as the group continued on its way. "We set outto rid ourselves of the Forest Monster, and now I feel inclined to findhim so that we can warn him of his pending danger. "

"You are kidding, aren't you?" asked Watts. 

Ozma only looked solemnly at the ground and kept walking. 

CHAPTER 12

THE LION KING

Now, when the Cowardly Lion of Oz had first tangled with and beheadedthe Forest Monster, the other animals of the area had named him theirking. They had since come to recognize Ozma as the overall ruler of Oz, but they joyfully accepted their tawny savior as their local leader. 

The Cowardly Lion had taken to the job as well as any coward could beexpected to do. He knew that, when he had accepted this position ofpower, he also took on a responsibility. The other animals were now hissubjects, and he felt it was his duty to protect them from outsidedangers such as hunters or other predators. He also thought it politicto offer his advice whenever one of his new charges had a question or aproblem. It was one such event that is pertinent to this part of ourstory. About a week prior to Queen Ozma's meeting with the Land Sharks, a young wombat had come to the Cowardly Lion to ask his advice. 

"Hello, " said the smaller creature. "Your majesty, Mr. Cowardly Lion, Sir?"

"Yes?" replied the Lion, looking around to see where the voice had comefrom. "W-who's that? W-who said th-that?" When his large eyes came uponthe wombat, he seemed to smile. "Why, Ricardo, there you are. I didn'tsee you at first. How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess, " said the wombat. 

"And your mother?" added the Lion. 

"She's fine, " said Ricardo. 

"I am very happy to hear it, " said the Cowardly Lion. "But tell me, myfriend, why you seem so glum. A boy your age shouldn't have anyproblems that would cause such glumness. What's wrong?"

[Illustration: Cowardly Lion and Wombat]

"Weeeeell, " began the wombat slowly. "It's kind of silly, I guess. But Iwanted to ask your advice about something. "

"You think it's silly to ask my advice?" said the Cowardly Lion, pretending to be hurt. 

"No, that's not what I meant, " replied Ricardo. "I mean, what I wantedto ask you about is kind of silly. I'm not sure it would be right towaste your time on. I think I should leave now . . . " He turned to leave. 

"Now now, " said the Lion, becoming serious again. "No problem that istroubling one of my subjects is silly. Nor is it a waste of my time tohear the needs of today's youth. What's troubling you, my boy?"

"Well, " began Ricardo, "you see . . . Well, I have this friend . . . "

"Oh, it's about a friend is it?" said the Cowardly Lion knowingly. 

"Oh, no, " said Ricardo. "I'm not trying to pass the buck. It really isabout a friend of mine. You see, he's a real copy cat. He likes to doeverything I do, and he does it exactly the same way, and it's drivingme wom-batty. I want to tell him to think for himself, but I'm not surehow to go about it. "

"So what is it that he does that you don't want him to do?" asked theLion. "I mean, if he is doing exactly as you are, you must be having agood time together. Aren't you?"

"No, I mean, like . . . Like last week I found a really neat shiny rockthat I thought I would like to keep. I took it home with me, and whenHenry saw it, he went out and got one that was just like it. "

"Is that bad?" asked the Lion. "The rocks are there for everyone to useas they need them. What's the matter with that?"

"And when I made a welcome mat for my mom to put in front of our home, Henry went and made one like it for his mom! It's like he can't think ofanything for himself. He has to use all of my ideas. I wish he wouldfind his own means of expressing himself, instead of always stealing myideas. It's like, I learned a new song that I was going to sing atwombat school, and then Henry went and learned it, too!"

The Cowardly Lion looked at Ricardo and seemed to smile again. "Ah, Ricardo, " he said. "I think your little friend is doing it out ofaffection for you. Imitation, after all, is the highest form offlattery--well, next to bringing you food, at least. I think your friendjust admires you so much that he wants to be just like you. "

"Really?" said Ricardo. "Gee whiz, I hadn't thought about that. Ithought it was just that he refused to think for himself. Or maybe thathe felt I didn't deserve to have anything he didn't. Or that he simplywanted to drive me insane. But maybe you're right. He does seem to liketo hang around with me a lot. Maybe he just wants to imitate me becausehe admires me! That's pretty neat!"

"Yes it is, " said the Cowardly Lion. "So you have a responsibility toHenry now as a role model. "

"A what?" asked Ricardo. 

"A role model, " explained the Lion. "If Henry is going to do everythingyou do, you certainly don't want to do anything too foolish. "

"Oh, yeah, " agreed Ricardo. "That's true. Thanks for your advice, Mr. Lion King, Sir. "

"Any time, Ricardo, " laughed the Lion. "Be sure to give my respects toyour mother. "

"I will, " said the wombat, scampering off happily and chanting somethingunder his breath about being a role model. 

"If only the problems of the adults were as easily handled as that, "laughed the King. 

"Mr. Your Majesty?" came another voice. "I want to ask you some advice. "

The Cowardly Lion looked and saw another wombat. "Aha, " he said. "Let meguess. Your name is Henry, right?"

"Gee, " replied the smaller animal. "You know my name! You must knoweverything!"

"I do, " said the Lion jokingly. "And I had a feeling that you'd be alongsoon. So what's troubling you?"

"Oh, it's nothing much. I just really wanted to come and talk to you. "

"I see, " laughed the King. "You are friends with Ricardo, are you not?"

The little wombat's eyes seemed to grow out of their sockets. "Youreally know everything! You really do! I'm sorry I cheated on my lastspelling test. I promise I'll never do it again!"

The Cowardly Lion was a little taken aback by this statement, but hecovered it well. "I was going to bring that up if you didn't, " he lied. "You must tell your teacher and make up the test if you want to grow upto be a king like me. "

"Oh, I will!" agreed Henry. "I will go and tell her right now!" Hedashed off toward the wombat schoolyard. 

"And so I am now a psychic, " laughed the Lion. "Next I'll be expectedto be able to fly or to leap over tall buildings in a single bound. ButI guess it's all part of being a king. And I have to show my subjectsthat I am a good king, so I must do my best to be all that they expectme to be. I've got to be strong, and try to hang on. I have to be kindand understanding toward their needs. And most of all, I have to bebrave!" He let out a practice roar that shook the very ground beneathhis paws. "I am a brave lion! I am the King of the Beasts! I am fearedby all, and I fear nothing! I am brave and I am. . . " As a grasshopperleaped in front of him, the Lion nearly jumped out of his skin. "Aaaaaah!" he cried. "What is it? What'd I see? I saw something move!"Another grasshopper jumped in the air, and the Lion, that strong andcourageous King of all Beasts, bravely turned tail and ran. 

CHAPTER 13

THE COWARDLY LION AND THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ

The Cowardly Lion ran and ran. He had no idea just how long or how farhe had gone when he stopped to catch his breath. 

"This sort of cowardice is sure to make me old before my time, " he saidto himself. 

As he settled down in a pile of leaves for a short rest, he heardsomething rustling in the bushes nearby. "Wha--" he said. "What's that?Who's there?"

"D-don't hurt me, Mr. Lion, " came a voice. 

"W-who are you?" shivered the Lion. 

By way of an answer, a small brown monkey with shaggy fur walked slowlyout of the brush. "P-please don't eat me, Mr. Lion, " he said fearfully. 

"Don't worry, " replied the Cowardly Lion. "I had no intention of doingso. What were you doing in the bushes?"

"I heard you coming, and I was afraid, " explained the simian. 

"I can identify with that, " said the Lion with a smile. 

"I was afraid that you might be one of those awful spider-creatures thatsaps away the energy from everyone else, " continued the monkey. "But Ican see that you are not. You are a much nicer fellow than that. I thinkI've seen a portrait of you somewhere, in fact. You are . . . My oh my!Can it be true? You're him, aren't you?"

"Who?" asked the big cat. 

"You are the great Lion that defeated the Forest Monster before!" saidthe monkey. "I'm sure of it! What other lion in Oz is so big? Aren't youthe one who is called the Cowardly Lion of Oz?"

"Yeah, " said the Lion, not especially proud of the title, but happy thathe was so famous with even this small monkey that he had never seenbefore. "That's right. I am the Cowardly Lion of Oz. It is a title thatis far more honest than flattering. And who might you be?"

"I am Cubby, " said the monkey. "I live in the Lunechien Forest of Oz. "

"Lunechien Forest?" echoed the Lion. I'm not sure just where that is. Isit far from here?"

"Pretty far, " sighed Cubby. "I was running away. "

"Running away?" replied the Lion, whose advice-giving nature wasbeginning to surface. "Now, dear little Cubby, my lad. Whatever problemsyou may be having at home are no reason to run away. You can't run awayfrom your problems. You should go back and try to talk it out. Why, Ican. . . "

"You don't understand, " said Cubby. "I wasn't running away like a childwho has had a disagreement with his parents over a cookie or something. I was running for my life. "

"Oh, " replied the Cowardly Lion. "Well then, that's a whole differentball of wax. If you were . . . Huh? What? You were running for your life?What do you mean?"

"The Forest Monster has been sucking the energy out of all of theanimals of the Lunechien Forest, and I know he was coming for me next! Iwas so afraid, I just wanted to get away from there as swiftly as Icould. Then, when I heard your heavy breathing, I thought it was theForest Monster coming for me. I thought for sure I was a goner. "

"The Forest Monster?" echoed the Lion. "But I don't understand. I had arun-in with him once myself. I knocked his head off while he wassleeping. I know it was hardly sporting to do it that way, and I am alittle ashamed that I didn't even give him a sporting chance, but I haveto think of the innocent beasts whose lives were at stake. "

[Illustration: Cowardly Lion and Cubby]

"I think there may be more than one, " said Cubby. "Unless the one youfought somehow got himself repaired. "

"I suspect that would h-have to be the case, " stammered the CowardlyLion. "I d-don't think there could be more than one of those creatures. I had assumed it was created by magic, sort of like a green elephant orsomething. But if it is alive again, it will probably find out who itwas that defeated it before. It will be looking for me. "

"I'm afraid it already knows who you are, " spoke Cubby. "And it hasfound a way to take the energy from other beings and use it for itself. It is already so powerful that I doubt anyone could stand against it. "He paused. "Oh, except for you, of course. I know you could defeat it. You did it before. "

"Er, yeah, " said the Lion, his eyes growing to several times theirnormal size. "I g-guess I d-did. B-but he was so much easier to tacklewhen he was asleep. Now that he has multiplied his power, I'm n-notsure I c-could do it again. "

"Oh, but you can! You must, " said the monkey encouragingly. "You can'tlet him keep getting stronger and stronger! Sooner or later, he willfind you. And he probably won't stop at that. He may cross the desertand go into the mortal lands. He might start attacking Ix or Mo or evenMerryland! And then he may infiltrate the mortal lands like America, where your friend Dorothy lives!"

"D-Dorothy?" said the Lion, suddenly looking more angry than afraid. "She's just a little kid! He wouldn't do that to a child?"

"He did it to several of the small and helpless beasts in the LunechienForest, " said the simian. "Even insects are not safe from him. "

"Well, he is a spider, as far as that goes, " replied the Cowardly Lion. "Insects are a normal diet for him. But small children are not! How darehe even think of hurting little Dorothy? What a wicked creature hereally is! Where is he? Let me have a talk with this nasty arachnid!"

"That's the spirit!" cheered Cubby. "Come on, let's go!"

The Lion had already forgotten about his exhausted condition. Thethought of Dorothy being in danger had taken precedence over all otherthoughts in his head. He followed Cubby closely until he felt he had torest. They traveled and rested for as long as it took before at lastthey reached the border of the Lunechien Forest of Oz. 

"I sure hope we can find him in his sleep again, " whispered the Lion tohimself. 

"Come on, " said Cubby. "I know where his lair is. If he hasn't moved onto more densely populated territory, that is. "

"W-wouldn't it be rude to just b-barge in on him?" said the Lion, hiscowardly nature suddenly returning. 

"I don't think so, " replied Cubby. "I think we need to stop his wickeddeeds as soon as we possibly can. We can't let him get to Dorothy, youknow. Nor the Scarecrow or the Tin Woodman or the Woggle-Bug. No one issafe as long as the Forest Monster is at large. "

"You're right!" said the Cowardly Lion dutifully. "We are the only oneswho can stop him. Where is this overgrown daddy long legs?"

Cubby led the huge animal through the forest to the lair of the giganticspider. When they got there, they were met with a most unexpected sight. There was a pack of Land Sharks. They looked frightful and hungry, andthey surrounded Ozma, Tweaty, Nibbles, Lisa, Hootsey and Elephant. "Those are some of my friends who live in this forest, " explained Cubby. "Except for the little girl. I don't know who she is. Is that Dorothy?"

"No, " said the Lion, his voice sounding hollow. "What is she doing here?Why are your friends here? They should have followed your act and fled. "

"It iss dinnah time!" shouted one of the Land Sharks. "I believe veshall bekin vith ze big gray helefantt!"

"No!" said Cubby. "Don't let them do it!"

The Cowardly Lion trembled with fear as he watched the huge Land Sharkturn to face the little monkey. When the Shark moved toward Cubby withits jagged teeth exposed, he pounced on it. 

"Get ziss kitty offa my back!" screamed the Land Shark. "It hass sharpclawss, und zay are hurtin' me!"

The Lion jumped off, and the impact of his jump knocked the Land Sharkover. To tell the truth, the Land Shark's legs were rather thin, and hisbalance was not very good to begin with. This displayed to the othersthe Land Sharks' main weakness. Thinking quickly on his feet, Elephantraced toward another of the Sharks and knocked it over on its face. TheShark's front teeth were dislodged, and it ran behind its fellows. Without its teeth, the Land Shark was much more vulnerable than it hadbeen previously. Seeing that the other Land Sharks were distracted bythe Lion and Elephant, the Forest Monster took its opportunity tostrike. Within moments, the Land Shark was no longer a threat to anyone, having been drained of all of its life force. The added burst of energygave the Forest Monster more ability to take out more of the LandSharks. But he was so preoccupied that he failed to notice Watts and hisfour companions surround him with their ferocious teeth bared. Thiscaused the Forest Monster to hesitate while he sized up the situation. Here he was, the bad guy, trying to get bigger and stronger at theexpense of the Land Sharks, yet at the same time inadvertently savingOzma and her friends, and now Ozma's forces were bearing down on himwhile his back was turned. "Hey! This is grossly unfair, " he said, almost crying. Just then, a group of Droffs, accompanied by severalSniffers and Stinkfoots, arrived. The confusion allowed Ozma to use hersilver wand to cast a spell. Between the Forest Monster, Elephant, theStinkfoots, Sniffers and the Cowardly Lion, the Land Sharks weredisabled within a matter of forty-five minutes. Those who had not beendeenergized by the Forest Monster or otherwise rendered harmless by oneof the others had fallen to their spindly knees and were pleading formercy. One was staring directly into the foot of one of the newcomersand crying hysterically. All the while, Ozma had been using her wand toturn the Sharks into tiny snails, which Cubby picked up and put into anearby pond. 

"It is finished, " said the Cowardly Lion. He pushed his aching body tothe ground and licked one of his wounds. "The Land Sharks are subdued. Idon't think they will have the same cruel spirits now that they aresnails. "

"Indeed not, " said the Forest Monster. Turning to the Cowardly Lion, headded, "You fought bravely. For one who is called Cowardly, youcertainly didn't show any signs of having earned that title in thisbattle. "

"But I felt them, " sighed the Lion. "I was only acting brave because Isaw my friends in danger. To tell you the truth, I was scared out of mywits the whole time. "

"Your friends?" echoed the Forest Monster. "You call us your friends?Even me? Do you not remember who I am, and what you once did to me whileI was sleeping?"

The Lion did a double take. "Oh, yeah! I was so caught up in the battlewith the Land Sharks that I forgot what I had come here for. "

"I was, too!" agreed Cubby. "But the Cowardly Lion was coming here tohave a talk with you, " he added, remembering the words that the Lion hadspoken to him earlier. "He said that he was ashamed of what he did toyou without giving you a sporting chance. " These last words on Cubby'spart were intended only as an observation. He had no idea that theywould have any effect on the Forest Monster at all. 

"Is that so?" wondered the huge spider. "You mean to say that you camehere to apologize to me? And you even counted me among your friends. Howwrong I have been in my assessment of your character. You are not socowardly after all. In fact, I feel proud to have fought alongside ofyou. I would like to start over and get to know you for what you reallyare. "

The Lion was taken aback. "You would?" he said. He had no idea what elseto say. He had come to the Lunechien Forest thinking that he was to facethe greatest enemy he had ever known, and that enemy was speaking to himas if they were old friends who had just met after a long period ofseparation. 

"Of course I would, " said the spider. "I see now that I was wrong tohate you so badly when I didn't even know what sort of fellow you reallywere. And seeing how I felt when we were attacked by those Land Sharkswithout having any way to fight them off showed me how grossly unfair Iwas for having taken the energy from helpless insects and animals. I wasas bad as them, and I don't ever want to be like that again! It's muchtoo frightful. I'd rather have a solid group of friends than have allthe power in the world. "

"I think I am guilty of the same thing, " sighed the Lion, still a littlespooked by the abruptness of the Monster's turnabout in nature. "Iknocked your head off as you slept, but I didn't know what you werelike, either. All I knew was what I was told: that you were eating allof the lions and the other animals, and that they wanted to make metheir king if I stopped you. "

"So you are their king now, " said the Forest Monster. "I do not begrudgeyou the position any more. You are welcome to it. I suddenly feel like Idon't care for any position of power any more. When I was gaining thepower I now possess, I was allowing myself to be blind to anything butmy ever-growing hatred of you. Now that I see how unfounded that hatredreally was, I feel that it was I who was the true coward. I was sappingthe life energy from countless helpless creatures. I did not give themany sporting chance, either. Nor did I have any excuse to justify what Iwas doing except that I wanted revenge. It is I who should feel ashamedof himself, not you. Now I have all of this power and strength that wasbrought about by my hate, and it is no longer of any value to me. All ithas done was to make me all the more angry and heartless. If this is theprice of strength, I think I'd rather be weak. It is far better to besmall and have friends than to have all the strength in the universe butbe so full of anger and resentment that you can't even enjoy it. "

"So now that you have become a mountain of power, " replied the Lion, "you no longer care to be powerful?"

"Exactly, " sighed the Forest Monster. "If there were a way to reversetime and put things back as they should be, before I ever hurt anyone, Iwould do it. I wish I could apologize to all of the poor animals that Isapped. If their spirits are still in the vicinity, I hope they see howutterly foolish I feel for having taken such unfair advantage of them. "

"It is very sad that so many of our friends and families had to bedestroyed in order for you to have learned this lesson, " said Elephant, thinking sadly of the loss to the forest and its denizens. "But I hopethat you will try to reverse your reputation now by putting yourstrength to good use. It is hard to forget what you did, but I thinkthat, in time, we will all be able to accept you as a neighbor. Atleast, if you act like one. "

"Oh, that I will do, " said the spider gratefully. "I will do all that Ican to make up for my past misbehaving. "

"Then it seems we are no longer needed, " said one of the Sniffers. "Wemet the Droffs on our way here, and they have agreed to help us plow ourfields. If our job here is done, I think we should like to go home andget started. "

"Me wants to plow fields, " said the Droff who stood beside him. 

"Then something positive did come of all this tragedy, " said Hootsey. "Not only have the Sniffers and the Stinkfoots made friends with theDroffs, but the Forest Monster has had a major-league change of heart. But can we at least find the empty shells of our families and give thema proper burial?"

"That would be right, " agreed the Forest Monster. 

"Wait a minute, " said Ozma. "You mean to say that the bodies are stillaround? You didn't devour them entirely?"

"No, " explained the Monster. "I only drained them of their energy. Inever actually hurt their physical bodies. Only their internal energy. "

"And their energies are still inside of you, " observed Lisa, catching onto what Ozma was getting at. "So you never actually _killed_ them! Theirbodies are still alive, but dormant because they have no life energy. That means that, if we could reverse the process, we could put all oftheir energy back into their bodies again!"

"It would, " agreed Ozma, "if the Forest Monster would agree to dothis. " She turned to the tremendous arachnid. "It will probably meanthat you will have to allow yourself to become small again. I don't meanas small as you were when the Cowardly Lion first met you, either. Imean that you will again be reduced to the size of a regular, normalspider in order to restore all that you have wronged to their formerliveliness. "

"Oh, yes!" said the Forest Monster. "This I will gladly do! I am happyto go back to that small size. It allows me to maintain a lower profile, and I would like the opportunity to practice spinning my webs inprivate. I'll bet that, in time, I will be able to spin the mostgorgeous webs you can imagine! If that comes to pass, I would considerit a great honor if one of my masterpieces could be coated in silver andgold, I should like to give it to Your Majesty as a gift. "

"I would be delighted to receive it, I'm sure, " said Ozma kindly, thoughshe was not sure what she would actually do with such a treasure. "But Ithink it is now time to restore the Lunechien beasts. "

"I agree, " said the Cowardly Lion. "And, as everything seems to havecome out well, I think it is time I head home to the Forest where I amnow king. I've already been away too long as it is. "

"Of course, " said Ozma, taking his paw in her hand. "Thank you for allyour help. "

"Think nothing of it, my Queen, " he said. Then he lumbered off towardLion Country. 

"And now, " continued Ozma, "back to the job at hand. " She put herfingertips to her temples and concentrated. The Forest Monster felt aslight tingling sensation in his heart, but nothing else happened. 

"Maybe you need to use your wand, " suggested Lisa. "Or say anincantation?"

"Or make some kind of magical motions?" put in Tweaty. 

"No, " sighed Ozma. "This operation is not as basic as all that. TheForest Monster has grown so vast that my untrained abilities are notgoing to work. It may be weeks before I will be up to this challenge. I'm afraid I'm just not used to being a fairy yet. But I think I coulddo it if I had an Anmars. "

"A what?" asked Elephant. "I've never heard of an Anmars before. "

"It's a standard magical tool that most wizards or witches would have. But I don't think there are any more witches in the area. Allidap andher evil sister were both destroyed by Dorothy, and the Witch of theDeep South got rid of most of her old implements, saying that theyreminded her of a time she'd prefer to forget. "

"How about Glinda?" suggested Tweaty, who was still in the form of asmall orange pachyderm. "She's a Good Witch, you know. Wouldn't she haveone of those Mars things?"

"An Anmars, " corrected Ozma. "Yes, I'm sure she would. But the last Iheard from her, she was going to visit some place that was having adrought and try to correct it. A place called Yoraitia. I do not knowwhere it is. "

"Yoraitia?" echoed Tweaty. "I flew by there once! I know where it is, and it isn't very far from here. But there was a dark and shadowy placeon the way. I didn't land there, as I thought it looked scary anddangerous. But I can lead you there, if you want me to. "

"Then we are saved!" said Elephant with a loud trumpet blast. "Even ifthat shadowy dark place is dangerous, no one can stand up to ourformidable Forest Monster!"

"Er, " pouted the Monster, "I'd rather not be thought of that way anymore. Like your Witch of the Deep South, there are things that remind meof a past that I'd rather forget. "

"Of course, " said Lisa. "I'm sure Elephant didn't mean to imply that youwere mean any more. "

"Certainly not, " replied the pachyderm. "So can we be on our way? I sowant to be reunited with Tiger and Pinky and the others. "

"Of course, " replied the Forest Monster (and it is actually getting hardto keep referring to him by that title in light of his abrupt change ofheart. I have to wonder, was he ever really all that monstrous?). "Whydon't you ride on my back. I have very long legs, and it will make thegoing much faster. "

They all agreed to this plan, and were off to find Yoraitia. 

CHAPTER 14

ME AND MY SHADOW

It has been mentioned before that, although very comprehensive mapsexist of Oz, there are areas that are totally uncharted and about whichvery little is known. One such area is the Land of Lost Shadows. In factthis may be the very first time that this mysterious land has ever beenmentioned by any living human being. That is because no one has everknown where a person's shadow goes when he dies. It has always beenassumed that when someone's physical form is no more, his shadowautomatically disappears along with it. That is quite true, of course. But does anyone ever stop to think where it disappears _to_!

Now, it is very true that if you are separated from your shadow when youare alive, it can be sewn back on again. Any child who has ever read thestory of Peter Pan knows that this is so. But when a person's body dies, the shadow has no desire to be buried in the ground or to be burned up. None of these things bother the body because it is not aware ofanything. But the shadow is totally aware and is anxious to remainactive and useful. Sometimes these shadows are helpful and good. Othertimes, the opposite is true. Scholars of Oz are already well aware ofthe time when the shadow of the Wicked Witch of the East made a ploy forrevenge against the magical country. But no shadow can continue toremain alive outside of the enchanted lands. After all, it is but ashadow of its former self (if you'll pardon the pun). So it just zipsoff to Oz to reside in the Land of Lost Shadows. Now, the word 'lost' isa misnomer here. The shadow itself is anything but lost. In fact it isquite at home in its new abode. However, it is lost as far as the restof the world is concerned. Well, enough of these explanations. Let usget back to our story. No created beings other than shadows had evercrossed the borders of Shadowland (which is the name used by theinhabitants). That is, no one had until Elephant, Ozma, Tweaty, Hootsey, Lisa, Nibbles and the Forest Monster happened to stumble on it byaccident. And the way that happened was as follows: Each member of thelittle band was so preoccupied with his own thoughts--especiallyElephant. He was still thinking how close he had come to being eaten bythe Land Sharks and the miraculous change of heart on the part of theForest Monster. As for the Monster himself, he was feeling bad about allthe evil things he had done, and was contemplating what he would say inapology to all of the animals he had wronged. Since it was getting darkby this time, he failed to notice the thick, dark area looming up infront of him, when CRASH! He went straight into it. And since it wasreally dark now, the shadowy occupants were quite invisible. Hootseysuggested that there was no point in stumbling around in the dark, andthat the best thing to do would be for everyone to lie down and go tosleep. 

This seemed like a fine idea to Elephant, who promptly flopped down onthe grass--almost squashing Nibbles, who was already snoozing under him. The Forest Monster also took a position of repose, but far enough awayfrom his smaller charges that he knew he would not roll over and squishany of them. In the twinkling of an eye, he was fast asleep. But it washardly a restful sleep that he experienced. It was a deeply troubledsleep. In his dreams, he saw the tortured faces of the many that he hadmistreated in his angry power play. The wispy night visions experiencedby his companions were hardly any more enjoyable, except those ofPrincess Ozma, who rated enough respect from the Sleep Fays that theywould not allow any negative influences to disturb her sleep. Instead, she saw visions of the beautiful Love Fairy, and the lilting, music-like laughter of the Laughing Fay. These served to make her smileinwardly as she slept. 

Ozma was the first to awaken. She felt refreshed and envigorated. Thesound of birds chirping and the warm sun on her face brought her out ofher deep restful slumber. 

The first thing that her eyes focused upon was a two-dimensional shadowyshape moving toward her along the ground in much the same manner as theshadow of an airplane would. She instinctively looked up at the sky tosee what flying object might be casting its shadow on the ground. Butthere was nothing to account for it. Then she became apprehensive, forit occurred to her that perhaps one of the land sharks had escaped hersnailifying spell and followed them and that was what she was seeing. But no; it was definitely just a shadow, for it had stopped right infront of her. Then the shadow stood up as it became a three-dimensionalhuman being. 

"Good morning, " said the shadow, who had now taken the form of a veryordinary man. This awoke the others, who were surprised to see a man ina baseball uniform. 

"Forgive me for startling you all, " said the man. "But you see, when thesun comes up high enough in the sky, we shadows resume the forms of ourprevious selves. In fact, we are identical to our previous selves exceptthat our bodies are composed of high-frequency molecules as opposed tothe low frequency molecules of our earthly bodies. " Seeing the quizzicallook on everyone's face, he quickly continued: "It's quite simple, really. We are composed of the same material you are. After all, none ofus could reside in Oz if we weren't. "

"It makes sense, when you think about it, " said Ozma. "But I am verycurious as to why you are wearing baseball clothes. Have you just comefrom a game?"

"Yes, I have, " answered the man. "Baseball is pretty big in Shadowland. You see, we have a large population here of old baseball players andbaseball fans. It's the biggest thing we all have in common, so we tendto congregate together. As a matter of fact, we not only have gamesbetween ourselves, but we invite teams in the United States to visitwhen the players are in restitude. We have a wonderful time together. Ofcourse, the visiting players don't usually bring back the memory of thegames when they awaken in the morning--Well, maybe some fragmenteddreams--but that doesn't detract from the game or the great fun we have. Those young whippersnappers think they'll show us old timers a thing ortwo, but boy, do they get a run for their money!"

"Might I inquire as to your name?" questioned Tweaty, rather timidly. 

"Why yes, " came the simple reply. "My name is Richard Marquard. Please, just call me _Rube_. "

"Sounds like a backwoodsy hillbilly name to me, " said Elephant, intending his words to sound like friendly teasing. 

"Ha ha!" laughed Rube, equally friendly. "My nickname being what it is, you probably automatically assume that I must have been a country boy. That's what most people figure. But it's not so. Fact is, my father wasthe Chief Engineer of the City of Cleveland, and that is where I wasborn and reared. "

"Okay, " said Elephant. "So then, why is it that you are called _Rube_?"

"Well, it's a long story, " answered the ball player's shadow. 

"Then we had better not take the time to hear it all now, " said Hootsey. "We have a very important mission to fulfill. "

"Yes, " agreed Lisa. "But perhaps Mr. Rube could help us. I think weshould bring him along. "

"A grand idea!" exclaimed Ozma. "Mr. Marquard, would you be so kind asto join us on our mission? I would like to hear your story, and thenwill be happy to tell you ours. "

[Illustration: "_My name is Richard Marquard. Please just call meRube. "_]

"If I had been asked to join an undefined questing party by any otherthan the Queen of all Oz, I might have hesitated, " came the reply. "Butas it is from you, I will come along. "

"Splendid!" said Elephant. "Then let us be off!"

Rube was lifted atop the Forest Monster, as were Elephant and theothers, and from this high podium Rube began his unique tale. "It allstarted with my father, " he explained. "Like I say, he was the ChiefEngineer of the city of Cleveland. As far as he was concerned, the onlyimportant thing was for me to get a good education. But as far back as Ican remember, all I could think of, morning, noon and night, wasbaseball. 

"'Now listen, ' Dad would say. 'I want you to cut this out and payattention to your studies. I want you to go to college when you'rethrough high school, and I don't want any foolishness about it. Withoutan education, you won't be able to get a good job, and then you'll_never_ amount to anything. '

"'I already have a job, ' I'd say. 

"'You've got a job? What are you talking about?'

"I'm going to be a ballplayer, ' I'd explain. But Dad was not veryreceptive. 

"'A ballplayer?' he'd say, throwing his hands up in the air. 'What doyou mean? How can you make a living as a ballplayer? I don't understandwhy a grown man would wear those funny-looking suits in the firstplace. '

"'Well, ' I'd answer. 'You see policemen with uniforms on, and otherpeople like that. They change after they're through working. It's thesame way with ballplayers. '"

"That sounds reasonable to me, " said Tweaty. 

"Me, too, " said Queen Ozma. "I certainly don't wear the same clothes toa meeting with a foreign dignitary as I would wear while playing marbleswith Jellia Jamb. "

"Certainly not!" agreed Nibbles. 

"If only my father had thought that way, " sighed Rube's shadow. "But hejust scoffed. 'Do ballplayers get paid?' he'd ask. 

"'Yes, ' I told him. 'They get paid. '

"'I don't believe it!' he would rant. 

"And 'round and 'round we would go. We'd actually have that sameargument, almost always word-for-word, at least once a week. Twice aweek in the summer. Sometimes my grandfather--my father's father--wouldget involved in it. My grandfather was a nice man who liked baseball, and he would usually take my side. 

"'Listen, ' he'd say to my father, 'when you were a youngster, I wantedyou to be something, too. I wanted you to be a stonecutter, same as Iwas when I came over from the old country. ' Oh, did I mention beforethat my grandfather was a stonecutter?"

"No, " replied Elephant. "You just said that he was a nice man who likedbaseball. "

"Okay, " said Rube's shadow. "Well, my grandfather had been astonecutter, and had tried to persuade Dad to become one, too. 'But no!'he would say loudly into my father's ear, 'You wouldn't listen. Youwanted to be an engineer. So you _became_ an engineer. And a darned goodone, too. Had I forced you into masonry, you would never have excelledin the craft for which you had no love. And you would have been veryunhappy. Now Richard wants to be a baseball player. He's so determinedthat nothing is going to stop him. Let's give him a chance and see whathe can do. Don't force the boy to give up on his dreams. '"

"Your grandfather sounds like a wise man to me, " said Ozma. 

"He was, " said the shadow. "But Dad would never listen. 'Ballplayers areno good, ' he'd insist. 'Ballplayers are no good, and they never will beany good. ' It was very frustrating. He would usually end the argument byslamming the door and going outside to sit on the porch. And he wouldstop speaking to my grandfather or me for hours at a time. "

"That's too bad, " said Tweaty. "If you were good at baseball, you shouldhave stuck with it. "

"But I did stick with it, " replied the shadow. "I told you, I just camefrom a game. "

"Oh, yeah, " said Tweaty. "So you mean you brought your Dad around?"

"Well, " the shadow said slowly. "The thing is, I was always very tallfor my age. I had three brothers and a sister, and my sister was theshortest of the five of us. She grew to be six feet two. So you see, Iwas constantly hanging around the older kids and playing ball with theminstead of hanging with kids my own age. When I was about thirteen orso, I used to carry bats for some of the Cleveland Indians, such asElmer Flick, Napoleon Lajoie and Terry Turner. Of course, they were notcalled the Cleveland Indians then. They were called the ClevelandBronchos in those days. Then the Cleveland Naps--after Napoleon Lajoie. Anyway, after the regular season was over, a lot of them would barnstormaround the Cleveland area, and sometimes I'd be their bat boy. 

"Later on, I even pitched a few games for Bill Bradley's Boo Gang, " theshadow added proudly. 

"Boo Gang?" said Lisa with a little shudder. 

"Boo like a Ghost?" added Hootsey. 

"No, no, " laughed Rube's image. "Bill Bradley was the third baseman forthe Cleveland Indians--and one of the greatest who ever lived--and healso barnstormed with his 'Boo Gang' after the season was over. So bythe time I was fifteen or so, I knew a lot of ballplayers. And I had myheart set on being a Big Leaguer myself. 

"Well, one of my best friends was a catcher named Howard Wakefield. Hewas about five years older than I was. In 1906 he was playing for theWaterloo Club in the Iowa State League, and . . . "

"1906?" echoed Lisa. "But . . . But . . . "

"What's wrong?" asked the ballplayer's shadow. 

"You have to be mistaken, " said Elephant, recognizing the reason for hisfriend's perplexity. "It isn't 1906 yet. It's only 1902!"

"I think he's from the future, " said Lisa. "Rube Marquard is from a yearthat hasn't happened yet. "

"But how is that possible?" asked Hootsey. 

"Have you ever noticed, " explained the shadow, "how you can stand in themiddle of two or more different sources of light, and cast severalshadows in various directions?"

"Of course, " said Hootsey. "And sometimes I have a long skinny shadowthat is faint and grayish, while I also have a short fat shadow rightunder me which is almost completely black. And when I'm flying, I canmake lots of different shadows that don't even touch me anywhere. "

"Yes, " said Rube. "And these are all your shadow. If you go on a stagewith many footlights, you will cast various images of various shades ofgray. These are all your shadow. You see, your shadow can go in anydirection, backward or forward. It can reach to a distant area or staysituated close by. And it can do all at one time without ever letting goof you--even if, as you say, it isn't actually touching you. You arealways attached at some place. As the shadow of Rube Marquard, I touchhim always, even while he is far away in repose. I can be his past, hisfuture, or his mirror image. That is why I can remember experiences hehasn't even had yet. Sometimes we shadows accidentally create a feelingof deja vu in our live counterparts, which can lead to a false sense ofpsychic ability. "

"I don't know much about American sports figures, " said Elephant. "Butit sounds like you are someone who is or will be important to Baseball. But how did you convince your dad to let you play?"

"Yes, " agreed Hootsey. "You still haven't told us. "

"Of course, " replied the shadow. "As I was saying, I had a friend by thename of Howard Wakefield. He was playing for the Waterloo Club in theIowa State League. That summer--when I was only sixteen--I got a letterfrom him. 

"'_We can use a good left-handed pitcher_, ' the letter said. '_And ifyou want to come to Waterloo, I'll recommend you to the manager. _' Ithink Howard thought that I was at least eighteen or nineteen, as I wasso big for my age. 

"I wrote Howard and told him that my dad did not want me to play ball, so I didn't think he'd give me the money to go. If I asked him, he'dprobably hit the ceiling and rap me over the head with something. Asidefrom that, I was ready to go. "

"Well, " said Lisa indignantly, "a good father would have encouraged youto go. He should have been able to see that you were good at what youdid, and that you deserved this chance to make good. "

"Absolutely, " agreed Hootsey. "But I don't expect that your father gaveyou the money. Did you ever get to Waterloo?"

"Well, " answered the shadow, "pretty soon I got a telegram from theWaterloo manager. He said that I had been recommended very highly byHoward Wakefield, and asked if I would like to come and try out for theteam. The Waterloo manager offered to reimburse the cost oftransportation if I was given a contract. "

"But you still couldn't get the money from your father, " said Ozma. 

"No, " sighed the ballplayer. "It was hardly an improvement over Howard'sletter. So I just went upstairs to my room and closed the door. Then Iwrote back a long letter to the Waterloo manager, explaining that Ididn't have any money for transportation. But I told him that, if hesent me an advance right now for transportation, I'd be on the very nexttrain to Waterloo and he could take it out of my salary later on. "

"That's assuming you were hired, of course, " said Lisa. 

"Yes, " agreed Rube. "But I didn't have the slightest doubt that I wouldmake good. And, of course, I didn't mention that I was only sixteenyears old. I thought it best to leave that out. 

"I mailed the letter to Iowa, and then I waited on pins and needles foran answer. Every day I had to be the first one to get at the mail, because if anyone else saw a letter to me from the Waterloo BallClub--well, that would have been enough to alert Dad to what was goingon and I'd have been sunk. So every day I waited for the first sign ofthe mailman and tried to get to him before he reached the house. As itturned out, I could have saved myself a lot of worrying. "

"No letter ever came?" guessed Lisa. 

"Nope. Three weeks passed and still no answer. " The shadow sighed again. "I couldn't understand what had gone wrong. Maybe it was against therules to send transportation money to somebody not yet under contract?Maybe they didn't know how good I really was? Maybe this and maybe that. It was another frustrating period of my life. Finally, I just couldn'tstand it any longer. I gave my folks a story about camping with the BoyScouts and hitch-hiked to Waterloo. "

"You lied to your parents?" said Ozma, startled by the very idea. 

"Yes, I did. It was a hard thing for me to do, going against Dad likethat. But I was well punished for the deed. Believe me! Have you everhad to hitch-hike, sleep in open fields, or hop a freight train? It tookme five days and five nights. The longest five days of my life, and Iwas only sixteen at the time. But I did get there. Tired, anxious andhalf-starved, I blew into the Illinois Central Station at Waterloo, Iowaon a freight train early in the evening. Just before it stopped, Ijumped off and went head over heels right in front of the passengerhouse. I hardly had time to pick myself up off the ground before thestationmaster grabbed me and shouted, 'What do you think you're doing?Come on, get out of here before I run you in!'

"'No, ' I said. 'I'm reporting to the Waterloo Ball Club. '

"'You're what?' he says. 'My God! Did you ever wash your face?'

"'Yes I did, ' I said. 'But I've been travelling for five days and fivenights, and I am anxious to get to the Ball Park. Where do theballplayers hang around?'

"'At the Smoke Shop, ' he says. 'Down the street about a half of a mile. If you walk down there, probably whoever you're looking for will bethere. '

"So I thanked him and said I'd see to it that he got a free pass to theball game as soon as I got settled, and started off for the Smoke Shop. It turned out that two brothers owned the Smoke Shop, and they alsoowned the Ball Club. One of them was behind the counter when I walkedinto the place. He took one look at me and let out a roar like a lion's. 

"'What are you doing in here?' he yelled. This is a respectable place!Get out of here!'

"'Wait a minute, ' I says. 'I've got a telegram from the manager of theBall Club to report here, and if I make good I'll get a contract. '

"'Are you kidding?' he says. 'Who in the world ever recommended you?'

"'Howard Wakefield did, ' I said. 

"'Well, ' says the guy behind the counter, 'Wakefield is in back shootingbilliards. We'll soon settle this!'

"I'd like to go back and see him, ' I said. 

"'Don't you go back there, ' he shouted. 'Don't even think about goingback there! You'll drive everybody out. Did you ever take a bath?'

"'Of course I did, ' says I. 'But I've bummed my way here and I haven'thad a chance to clean up yet. '

"So he goes into the back and in a minute Howard comes out 'Cripes!' hesays. 'What happened to you?'

"I was explaining it to him when in came Mr. Frisbee, the manager, and Iwas introduced to him. 'I received your telegram, ' I said. 'I didn'thave enough money to come first class or anything like that, but here Iam. '

"'Keokuk is here tomorrow, ' says the manager, 'and we'll pitch you. '"

"'We'll pitch you?'" echoed Hootsey. "What a mean thing for him to say!Imagine, just pitching you out after all your effort to get there!"

"No, no, " explained the shadow. "He meant that he wanted me to pitch thenext day. But I was all tuckered out and hardly ready to do that. Ireally wanted to have a bath and get some sleep. 

"'Tomorrow or never, Young Fellow, ' he says to me. Tomorrow or not atall. '

"'All right, ' I said. 'But could I have five dollars in advance so I canget a clean shirt or something?'

"'After the game tomorrow, ' he said. Then he just walked away from melike I was nothing. "

"How rude, " said Elephant. 

"The least he could have done would have been to let you take a showerin the locker-room, " said Lisa. 

"Well, I got to clean up, " admitted Rube. "Howard took me to his roominghouse and gave me something to eat. They let me sleep on an extra cotthey had. And the next day we went to the Ball Park and I was introducedto the players and given a uniform that was too small for me. The Keokukteam was shagging balls while I warmed up, and they kept making commentsabout green rookies and bushers and nitchies and such; and how they'dknock me out of the box in the first inning; and how I should havestayed home with my Mommy. Ooh, I felt terrible. I had an awful headacheand I was exhausted! Still, I was determined to show them that I couldmake good, and I went out there and won that game six against one!

"With that, " continued the shadow, "I felt sure I'd be offered acontract. So after the game, I went to Mr. Frisbee and said, 'Welp, Ishowed you I could deliver the goods. Can we talk about a contractnow?'

"'Oh, ' he says to me. 'Keokuk is in last place. Wait until Oskaloosacomes in this weekend. They are in second place. They are a rough team, and if you can beat them, then we'll talk. '

"'Can't I get any money--any advance money--on my contract?' I askedhim. 

"'You haven't got a contract, ' he said. 

"'All right, ' says I, and I didn't say another word. I knew that he wasright. I'd have to prove myself before I could expect any handouts fromthis man. So I stayed quiet. I didn't say anything to anybody thatevening. But when it got dark, I went down to the railway station, andthe same stationmaster was there. He remembered me. 

"'Hey!' he says. 'You pitched a fine game today! I was there, and youdid a great job! What are you doing back here? Did you come to give methat free ticket you promised me?'

"'No, ' I said to him sadly. I'm sorry. I'm going back home to Cleveland, and I want to know what time a freight comes by. ' Then I explained tohim about everything that had happened. Oh, he was very nice to me. Hecompletely understood where I was coming from. After we had talked forawhile, he said, 'Look, the train comes in at one o'clock in the morningand the engine unhooks and goes down to the water tower. When it does, you sneak into the baggage compartment. Meanwhile, I'll talk to thebaggage man before the engine gets hooked up again. So when the trainpulls out and is about five miles out of town, he'll open the baggagedoor and let you out. '

"And that is pretty much what happened, " continued Rube. "When we werefive miles out of town, the door opened and the baggage man appeared. Italked with him all the way to Chicago, and as we got close to the yardshe says to me, 'Okay, you'd better get ready to jump now. There are alot of detectives around here and if you're not careful, they'll jumpon you and throw you in jail. So once you get to the ground, do nothesitate! Beat it away from here as fast as you can!'

"The baggage man must have told the engineer about me, as we slowed downto a crawl just before we approached the Chicago yards, and off Ijumped. I got out of there quick and took off down the street. I don'tknow what street it was, and I'm not sure where I was headed, but I doremember that I was awfully tired. It was the middle of the morning andI had hardly slept a wink the night before. I had staggered about threeor four blocks when I passed by a fire engine house. Evidently all ofthe firemen were out at a fire, because the place was deserted. I wastired, very tired, so I went in and sat down. Well, they had a bigbellied iron stove in there, and it was warm. I guess I must have fallenasleep, as the next thing I knew, a couple of firemen were shaking meand doing everything they could do to wake me up. They called me a bumand a lot of other bad names, and told me to get out of there or they'dhave me thrown in jail. 

"'I'm no bum, ' I said. 'I'm a ballplayer. '

"'What?' the firemen laughed. 'You, a ballplayer? Where did you everplay?'

"'In Cleveland, around the sandlots, ' I told them proudly. 'And inWaterloo, Iowa, too! I beat the Keokuk team six to one!'

"'Yeah?' said one of the firemen. 'And last week I had dinner with SantaClaus and the Pope. So I suppose you're going to tell me that you areclose buddies with Three-Fingered Brown, Chance, Tinker and Evans--Imean, Evers--and all of those fellows?'

"'No, ' I said. 'I don't know them. But some day I'll be playing withthem, or against them, because I'm going to get in the Big Leagues. '

"'Where are you going now?' asked the firemen. 

"'Back home to Cleveland, ' I told them. 

"'Have you got any money?' they asked me. 

"'No, ' I answered. I had to be honest, after all. 

"So they got up a little pool of about five dollars and said, 'Well, onyour way. And use this to get something to eat. '

"I thanked them, and as I left I told them that some day I would be backagain. 'When I get to the Big Leagues, ' I said, I'm coming out to visityou when we get to Chicago. '

"And home I went. I played around home all the rest of the summer, andthen the next summer--that would have been 1907, if I recall correctly, even though I'm remembering things that have yet to happen and I'mremembering them backwards--I took a job with an ice cream company inCleveland. I made twenty-five dollars a week: Fifteen for checking thecans on the truck that would take the ice cream away, and ten dollars aSunday, when I pitched for the company team. It was a good team. Weplayed the best semipro clubs in the Cleveland area, and I beat themall. I was only seventeen, but I hardly lost a game. 

"Then one day I got a postal card from the Cleveland Ball Club, askingme to come in and talk to them. Mr. Kilfoyl and Mr. Somers, the ownersof the club, wanted to see me. "

"Hurray!" said Hootsey. "So then, your father must have come around bythen?"

"Hardly!" said the shadow. "My Dad saw the postal card and became veryupset. 'So, ' he said to me. 'I see that you still want to be aballplayer. '

"'Yes, ' I admitted. 'I do. And I'm going to be a great one, too! Justyou wait and see! Some day you're going to be proud of me!'

"'Yeah, ' he shrugged. 'Proud of nothing. '

"But I went to the Cleveland club's office all the same, and Mr. Kilfoyland Mr. Somers were both there. I told them that I had received theircard. 'You know, ' I added, 'You got me into a little jam. My dad doesn'twant me to be a ballplayer. '

"'Don't you worry, ' said Mr. Kilfoyl 'After you sign with us and getinto the Big Leagues, he'll think differently about it. '

"'Well, ' I said, 'I'm not signing with you or anybody else until I hearwhat you're offering. I've been taken advantage of before, and it's notgoing to happen again. I know a lot of ballplayers and they always tellme not to sign with anybody unless I get a good salary. They all tell meyou better get it when you're young, 'cause you sure won't get it whenyou're old. '

"'That's a lot of nonsense, ' Mr. Kilfoyl said. 'Don't you worry. We'lltreat you right. We'll give you a hundred dollars a month. That's awonderful offer. '

"'I think he'll be overpaid, ' Mr. Somers says. 

"'I don't think that is so wonderful, ' I said. 'And as for beingoverpaid, I get that much right now from the ice cream company, and inaddition I get to eat all the ice cream I want. '"

"So it really wasn't an honorable offer, " tsked Ozma. "Did they raisetheir offer?"

"No, " replied the shadow with a sad expression. "They wouldn't increasetheir price. And I wouldn't reduce mine. So I left and went home. On myway home, though, I stopped in this sporting-goods store at 724 ProspectAvenue. It was owned by Bill Bradley and Ryan . . . Phylli . . . --I mean, Charlie Carr. Charlie managed and played first base for Indianapolis inthe American Association. Bill, as I think I may have mentioned before, played third base for Cleveland. 

"Anyway, when I walked in the door, Bill Bradley said, 'Hello, BigLeaguer. I understand that the boss wants to sign you up. '

"'Not me, ' I said. 'He wouldn't pay me as much as I already make withthe ice cream company. '

"'You know, ' said Charlie Carr, 'I manage the Indianapolis Club. '

"'I know that, ' I said. After all, everybody knew that!

"'How would you like to sign with me?' Charlie said with a smile. 

"'You're in the minor leagues, ' I replied. 'If a major league club won'tpay me what I want, how could you do it?'

"'How much do you want?' he wanted to know. 

"I took a deep breath and then answered, 'Two hundred a month. '

"'Wow!' he said. 'You want all the money, don't you?'

"'No, ' I told him. 'But you want a good pitcher, don't you?'

"'Yes, ' he answered simply. 

"'Well, I said, I'm one. '"

The five Ozites laughed at this, and the shadow smiled. He was actuallybeginning to fear that he was giving them too many details and that hisstory may be becoming long-winded and dull. But seeing that he was notboring his listeners, he continued:

"He agreed to my terms, of course. So right then I signed my firstprofessional contract, with Indianapolis of the American Association. 

"When I got home that night I had to tell my dad about it, because I wasto leave for Indianapolis the very next day. Oh, that was a terriblenight! Finally, Dad said, 'Now listen, I've told you time and time againthat I don't want you to be a professional ballplayer. But you've gotyour mind made up. Now I'm going to tell you something: when you crossthat threshold, don't come back. I don't ever want to see you again. '"

"No!" said Ozma with a start. "No way! No father would say such a thingto his own son!"

"That was just what my father said to me, " said Rube sadly. "He didn'twant me to come home again. I was excommunicated from the family. "

"That's awful!" said Lisa. "Parents do have a certain responsibilitytoward any children that they brought into the world! He was a skinflintand a creep!"

"Yes, " agreed Rube. "His actions that day were like those of a regularskunk!"

"I've known some very nice skunks in my day, " said Hootsey. 

"In any case, " said the shadow, not wanting to get into a debate abouthis use of the word _skunk_, "I was as shocked as you all seem to be. 

"'You don't mean that, Dad!" I said. 

"'Yes, I do. '

"'Well, ' I replied. 'I'm going. And some day you'll be proud of me. '

"'Proud!' he said. 'You're breaking my heart, and I don't ever want tosee you again. '

"'I will not break your heart, ' I said. 'I'll add more years to yourlife. You wait and see. '

"And so it was that I went to Indianapolis. They optioned me out toCanton in the Central League for the rest of the 1907 season, and I wontwenty-three games with them, which was one-third of all the games theCanton Club won that year. "

"Good for you, Rube!" said Elephant, genuinely proud of his new friend. 

"The next year--that would have been 1908--I went to Spring Trainingwith the Indianapolis Club. We went to French Lick Springs, Indiana. After three weeks there we went back to Indianapolis and played a fewexhibition games before the season opened. Well, believe it or not, thefirst club to come in for an exhibition game was the Cleveland team:Napoleon Lajoie, Terry Turner, Elmer Flick, George Stovall and the wholebunch that I used to carry bats for. When they came on the field I wasalready warming up. 

"'Hey!' a couple of them yelled at me. 'What are you doing here? Are youthe bat boy here?'

"'No, ' I smugly replied. 'I am the pitcher. '

"'You, a pitcher?' they jeered. 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

"'Just ask Bill Bradley, ' I told them. 'He was there when I signed myfirst contract. You'll see. I'm going to pitch against you guys today, and I'm going to beat you, too. '

"'Beat us? Busher, you couldn't beat a drum!'

"So then Bill Bradley came over and said hello. As he was leaving hesaid, 'Richard, you're a nice boy, so I want to give you some advicebefore today's game. Be careful of the Frenchman. ' He meant NapoleonLajoie. He said, The Frenchman is very sharp and he's been hittingterrific line drives this past week. He's almost killed three of our ownpitchers in practice, so there's no telling what he'll do in a realgame, even if it is just an exhibition game. '

"I thanked him, of course, and went back to warming up. Well, I pitchedthe whole nine innings and beat them, two to zero. Lajoie got two hitsoff me, and I think George Stovall got a couple, but I shut themout--and I wasn't killed, either. 

"That night Charlie Carr called me over. 'You know, ' he said, 'a funnything just happened. Mr. Somers, the owner of the Cleveland club, justcame over to my hotel room and wanted to buy you. He offered me threethousand five hundred dollars for your contract with the understandingthat you'd stay here all season, to get more experience, and then youwould join the Cleveland club next year. '

"'Charlie, ' I said, 'if you sell me to Somers, I'm going right back tothe ice cream company. He had first chance to get me, and he wouldn'tgive me what I deserved. So long as Somers is involved, I won't play forCleveland, no matter what. '

"'Okay, ' he said. 'Don't worry. I won't sell you. Later on I'll be ableto sell you for a lot more, anyway. '

"On opening day, Kansas City was at Indianapolis, and I pitched theopening game. I won two to one, and that evening the story in theIndianapolis _Star_ read like this: 'The American Association seasonopened up today, and it was a beautiful game between two fine teams. Each had great pitching, with an eighteen year old right-handerpitching for Kansas City and an eighteen year old left-hander for thehome team. The right-hander with Kansas City looks like he's going todevelop into a great pitcher. They call him Smoky Joe Wood. But we havea left-hander with Indianapolis who is going places, too. He resemblesone of the great left-handed pitchers of all time: Rube Waddell. '

"And from that day on, they nicknamed me 'Rube. '

"I had a wonderful season that year with Indianapolis. I pitchedforty-seven complete games, won twenty-eight of them, led the league inmost strikeouts, least hits, most innings pitched, and everything. Occasionally what I'd do would be reported in the Cleveland papers, andfriends of mine would tell me that they'd pass by the house and see Dadsitting on the porch. 

"'Well, Fred, ' they'd say--that was Dad's name, by the way, Fred--'Didyou see what your son Rube did yesterday?'

"'Who are you talking about?' he'd say. 'Rube who?'

"'Your son--Richard, ' they would answer. 

"'I told him that baseball was no good, ' my dad would reply. 'Nowthey've even gone and changed his name!'

"Anyway, I had a terrific year with Indianapolis, like I said. Late inthe season we went into Columbus, Ohio, and Charlie Carr came up to mebefore the game. 

"'Rube, ' he said, 'there are going to be an awful lot of celebritieshere at the game today. The American and National Leagues both have anoff-day, and they're all coming to see you pitch. If you pitch a goodgame I may be able to sell you before the night is out. '

"'For how much?' I wanted to know. 

"'I don't know, ' he said. 'But a lot. It depends on what kind of gameyou pitch. '

"'Will you cut me in?' I asked. 

"'No, I won't, ' he said with certainty. 'You're getting a good salaryand you know it. '

"'Okay, ' I said. I was only kidding anyway. 

"'I don't want you to get nervous today, ' he said. 

"'Nervous?' I repeated. 'Have I ever been nervous all season?'

"'No, ' he admitted, 'I've been in baseball a long time and I never sawanything like it. I never saw a kid like you, who can beat anybody andis so successful. '

"'Well, ' I said, 'the reason I'm so successful is because I can beatanybody. '"

"Now aren't you getting a little carried away with your bragging?" askedNibbles. "I mean, I'm very much enjoying your story, even though I knowlittle about baseball except that you play it on a bass drum. Butreally, I think you're carrying your pride a little too far into thenegative. "

"Yeah, " admitted Rube, "I am sorry about that. Sometimes that happens tome when I get too worked up. Anyway, I went out there that day and Ipitched one of those unusual games: no hits, no runs, no errors. Twenty-seven men faced me and not one of them got to first base. Andthat evening in Columbus they put me up for sale, with all the BigLeague clubs bidding on me, like a horse being auctioned off. TheCleveland club went as high as ten thousand five hundred dollars for mycontract, but the Giants went to eleven grand, and I was sold to them. At that time, that was the highest price ever paid for a baseballplayer. 

"I reported to the New York Giants in September of 1908, as soon as theAmerican Association season was over. I was eigh . . . "

"It still feels a little odd to have you 'remembering' things from yearsthat have not yet been, " interrupted Hootsey. 

"Let him finish the story, " admonished Elephant. 

"I am sorry, " said Rube. "But it is a memory to me, and a prediction toyou. I will try to be more careful about naming years if I can rememberto be. But in any event, I was eighteen years old at the time, andalready the most valuable player in the Big Leagues! Excuse me if Iseem to boast, but I feel that I am justified this time. I was the heroof the hour. 

"Still, I came up too late in the season to make a trip to Chicago withthe Giants that year, but the next season we made our first trip toChicago the second week in June. And the first thing I did, as soon as Igot there, was to make a beeline for that firehouse. 

"The only one there when I first got there was the Lieutenant. I walkedup to him and said, 'Lieutenant, do you remember me?'

"'Never saw you before in my life, ' he said. 

"'Well, remember about three years ago you caught me sleeping back ofthat stove there?'

"'Oh, are you that kid from Cleveland that said he's a ballplayer?'

"'Yes!' I told him. 'Remember me? My name is Marquard. RichardMarquard. '

"'Of course, ' he said, not really interested. 'What are you doing here?'

"'I am in the Big Leagues, ' I explained. 'I told you when I got to theBig Leagues I was coming out to visit you. '

"'Well I'll be . . . ' he began, then, 'Who are you with?'

"'Why, I'm with the New York Giants, ' I said with pride. 

"And boy, for years after that, whenever the Giants would come toChicago, I'd go out to that firehouse. I'd sit out front and talk forhours. The firemen would have all the kids in the neighborhood there . . . And all the families that lived around would stop by . . . And it wasreally wonderful. Everybody was so nice and friendly. Gee, I used toenjoy that. It was a great thrill for me. 

"Actually, every single day of all the years I spent in the Big Leagueswas a thrill for me. It was like a dream come true. I was in the BigLeagues for eighteen years, you know, from 1908 through 192 . . . Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I was with the Giants for seven glorious years, with the Dodgers for five years after that, with Cincinnati for oneyear, and then with the Boston Braves for four. And I loved every singleminute of it!

"The best years of all were those with the Giants. I don't mean becausethose were my best pitching years, although they were. In 1911 I wontwenty-four games and lost only seven. And in 1912 I won twenty-six. That's the year I won nineteen straight! I didn't lose a single game in1912 until July eighth!

"Actually, at the risk of sounding boastful again, I won twentystraight, not nineteen. But because of the way they scored then, Ididn't get credit for one of them. I relieved Jeff Tesreau in the eighthinning of a game one day, with the Giants behind, three to two. In theninth inning, Heinie Groh singled and Art Wilson homered, and we won, four to three. But they gave Tesreau credit for the victory instead ofme. Except for that it would have been twenty straight wins, notnineteen. "

"It's still a pretty magnificent record, " harumphed Elephant "I don'tsee any reason for all the sour grapes. "

"Oh, no, " said Rube's shadow. "No sour grapes. It was the grandest yearof my life. Of course, I had other great years with the Giants, too. In1914--er, sorry. I've just told this story this way for so long, it ishard to change it now--I beat Babe Adams and the Pirates in atwenty-one inning game, three to one. Both of us went the entiredistance that day, all twenty-one innings. And the following year, Ipitched a no-hitter against Brooklyn and beat Nap Rucker, two tonothing. "

"No wonder you remember your years with the Giants best, " said Hootseyunderstandingly. 

"Oh, no, " said Rube. "But that's not the reason. The real reason is . . . Well, maybe it's because that was my first club. I don't know. Whateverthe reason, though, it was wonderful to be a Giant back then. 

"Take Mr. McGraw, for example. What a great man he was! The finest andgrandest man I ever met! He loved his players and his players loved him. Of course, he wouldn't stand for any nonsense. You had to live up to therules and regulations of the New York Giants, and when he laid down thelaw you'd better abide by it!

"I'll never forget one day we were playing Pittsburgh, and it was RedMurray's turn to bat, with the score tied in the ninth inning. There wasa man on second with none out. Murray came over to McGraw--I was sittingnext to McGraw on the bench--and he said, 'What do you want me to do, Mac?'

"'What do I want you to do?' McGraw said. 'What are you doing in theNational League? There's the winning run on second base and no one out. What would you do if you were the manager?'

"'I'd sacrifice the man to third, ' Murray said. 

"'Well, ' McGraw said, 'that's exactly what I want you to do. '

"So Murray went up to the plate to bunt. After he got to the batter'sbox, though, he backed out and looked over at McGraw again. 

"McGraw poked his elbow in my ribs. 'Look at that so-and-so, ' he said. 'He told me what he should do, and I told him what he should do, and nowhe's undecided. I'll bet he forgot from the bench to the plate. '

"Now, in those days--and I guess it's the same now--when a man was upthere to bunt, the pitcher would try to keep the ball high and tight. Well, it so happened that Red was a high-ball hitter. Howie Camnitz waspitching for Pittsburgh. He wound up and in came the ball, shoulderhigh. Murray took a terrific cut at it and the ball went over theleft-field fence. It was a home run and the game was over. 

"Back in the clubhouse, Murray was as happy as a lark. He was first intothe showers, and out boomed his wonderful Irish tenor, singing _My WildIrish Rose_. When he came out of the shower, still singing, McGrawwalked over and tapped him on the shoulder. All of us were watching outof the corner of our eyes, because we knew The Little Round Man--that'swhat we used to call McGraw--wouldn't let this one go by without saying_something_. 

"'Murray, ' McGraw said. 'What did I tell you to do?'

"'You told me to bunt, ' Murray said, not looking quite so happy anymore. 'But you know what happened, Mac. Camnitz put one right in my gut, so Icow-tailed it. '

"'Where did you say he put it?' asked McGraw. 

"'Right in my gut, ' Murray says again. 

"'Well, ' said McGraw, I'm fining you a hundred dollars, and you can tryputting that right in your gut, too!' And off he went. 

"Oh, God! I never laughed so much in my life! Murray never did live thatdown. Years later something would happen and we'd yell to Murray, 'HeyRed, is that right in your gut?'

"There were a lot of grand guys on that club: Christy Mathewson andChief Meyers, Larry Doyle and Fred Snodgrass, Al Bridwell and BugsRaymond. Bugs Raymond! Ah, yes! What a terrific spitball pitcher he was. Bugs drank a lot, you know, and sometimes it seemed like the more hedrank the better he pitched. They used to say that he didn't spit on theball: he blew his breath on it, and the ball would come up drunk. 

"Actually, there was very little drinking in baseball in those days. It's a shame that drinking will become more and more commonplace inAmerican sports with the passage of time. I have seen it, and it is sad. Myself, I've never smoked or took a drink in my life. I always said youcan't burn the candle at both ends. You want to be a ballplayer, be aballplayer. If you want to go out and carouse and chase around, do that. But you can't do them both at once. 

"Of course, " continued Rube Marquard's shadow, 'when we were on theroad, we had a nightly eleven o'clock bed check. At eleven o'clock weall had to be in our rooms and the trainer would come around and checkus off. We'd usually have a whole floor in a hotel and we'd be two to aroom. I always roomed with Matty all the while I was on the Giants. Whata grand guy he was! The door would be wide open at eleven o'clock andthe trainer would come by with a board with all the names on it. He'dpoke his head in: Mathewson, Marquard, check. And lock the door. Nextroom, check, lock the door. 

"As far as I was concerned, I never drank a drop even when I was in showbusiness. In 1912 I made a movie with Alice Joyce and Maurice Costello, and then I was in vaudeville for three years, Blossom Seeley and I. That's when she was my wife. It didn't work out, though. I asked her toquit the stage. I told her I could give her everything she wanted. 

"'No, ' she told me. 'Show business is show business. '

"'Well, ' I said, 'baseball is mine. ' So we parted. "

"You mentioned that you were with the Giants for seven years, and thenthe Dodgers for five, did you not? How did it feel when you were tradedfrom the Giants to the Dodgers?" asked Elephant. 

"Well, " said the shadow, "not too bad. See, I traded myself. I didn'tseem to be able to get going in 1915 after I pitched that no-hitterearly in April, and late in the season McGraw started riding me. Thatwas a very bad year for the Giants, you know. We were favored to win thepennant, and instead we wound up last. So McGraw wasn't very happy. After I had taken about as much riding as I could stand, I asked him totrade me if he thought I was so bad. 

"'Who would take you?' he said to me. 

"'What do you mean?' I asked. 'I can still lick any club in the league. 'And I could, too! Heck, I wasn't even twenty-six years old then. 

"'Lick any club in the league?' scoffed McGraw. 'You couldn't lick apostage stamp!'

"'Give me a chance to trade myself, then, ' I suggested. 'What would yousell me for?'

"'Seven thousand five hundred bills, ' he answered. 

"'Okay, ' I said. 'Can I use your phone?'

"'Sure, ' he said. 

"We were both pretty mad at that point, so I got 'hold of the operatorand asked her to get me Wilbert Robinson, manager of the Brooklyn club. You see, Robbie--that's what we called him--had been a coach with us foryears before he became the Dodger manager in 1914. After a while, shegot Robbie on the phone. 

"'Hello?' he says. 

"'How are you, Robbie?' I asked. 

"Fine, ' he said. 'Who is this?'

"Now, I had to handle this conversation very carefully. My whole worlddepended on it. 'How would you like to have a good left-handed pitcher?'I said in a jovial tone. 

"I'd love it, ' he said. 'Who is this? Who's the man? Who are you goingto recommend?'

"I then dropped the clincher. 'I'm going to recommend myself, ' I toldhim. 

"'Who are you?' he repeated. 

"'Rube Marquard, ' I said, trying to sound impressive. 

"'Oh, ' Robbie said. 'What are you kidding around for, Rube? I have to goout on the field and I don't have time to fool around. '

"'No, ' I told him, 'I'm serious! McGraw is right here and he says he'llsell me for seven thousand five hundred buckaroos! Do you want to talkto him?'

"'Of course I do, ' Robbie said. And right then and there I was tradedfrom the Giants to the Dodgers. 

"And, of course, we--the Dodgers, that is--won the pennant the nextyear, and I had one of the best years I ever had. I think I had anearned run average of about one and a half in 1916. And then we won thepennant again in 1920. So everything worked out pretty well. 

"One day when I was pitching for Brooklyn, I pitched the first game of adouble-header against Boston and beat them, one to zip! I was in theclubhouse during the second game, taking off my uniform, when theclubhouse boy came in. 'Rube, ' he said to me, 'there's an elderlygentleman outside who wants to see you. He says he's your father fromCleveland. 

"'He is not my father, ' I said. 'My father wouldn't go across the streetto see me. But you go out and get his autograph book and bring it in, and I'll autograph it for him. '

"But instead of bringing in the book, he brought in my Dad. And we wereboth delighted to see one another. 

"'Boy, ' said my father to me, 'you sure are a hardhead. You know Ididn't mean what I said ten years ago. '

"'What about you, Dad?' I said. 'You're as stubborn as I am. I thoughtyou never wanted to see me again. I thought you meant it. '

"'Of course I didn't, ' he said. 

"After we talked a while, I said, 'Did you see the game today?'

"'Yes, ' he said, 'I did. '

"'Where were you sitting?' I asked him. 

"'Well, you know the man who wears that funny thing on his face?'

"'You mean the mask? The catcher?' I said. 

"'I guess so, ' my father said with a smile. 'Well, anyway, I was halfwaybetween him and the number one--you know, where they run right afterthey hit the ball?'

"'You mean first base?' I asked. 

"'I don't know, ' he said. 'I don't know what they call it. I was sittingin the middle there. '

"'How many ball games have you seen since I became a ballplayer, Dad?' Iwanted to know. 

"'This is the first one, ' he said. 

"Well, he stayed in New York with me for a few weeks, and we had agreat time. Finally, he had to go back to Cleveland. After he'd left, the newspapers heard about my Dad and they wanted to know his addressback home. So I gave it to them, and doggone if they didn't sendreporters and photographers to Cleveland to interview him. 

"They took his picture and asked him a lot of questions. One of thethings they asked him was whether he had ever played very much baseballhimself. 

"'Oh, ' he told them, 'of course I did, when I was younger. I used tolove to play baseball. I used to be a pitcher, just like my sonRichard--I mean, like my son Rube. '

"'Are you proud of your son?' they asked him. 

"'I certainly am, ' Dad said. 'Why shouldn't I be? He's a great baseballplayer, isn't he?'"

The group of Ozites was silent for a few moments as the Forest Monstercarried them along toward Yoraitia. The large pachyderm could feel atear welling up in his left eye, and he brushed it away with his trunk. 

CHAPTER 15

THE RESTORATION OF THE LUNECHIEN FOREST OF OZ

The little party arrived in Yoraitia in a short time. When they gotthere, it looked like as happy a township as any other in the MarvelousLand of Oz. 

"I knew there could not be any really serious drought in our fairyland, "said Elephant happily. "After all, Oz is always pleasant and lovely. Lurliné's enchantment has always seen to that. "

"I thought that Lurliné was only a character from an ancient legend, "scowled the Forest Monster. "In any event, I was not created by anyFairy enchantment. I know, for I was created by two prominent WickedWitches. "

"And I was hatched out of an egg just like any other hoot-owl, " repliedLisa. "But that doesn't prove anything. In any event, Glinda the Goodsaid there was a drought happening here. But clearly she was mistaken. Idon't think droughts are natural in any part of Oz, anyway. "

"They aren't, " agreed Ozma. "But Glinda would not have told me a lie. She must have believed there was one here. "

"I think maybe she was right, " said Tweaty. "Look here. I see that thistree was only watered recently. See? It looks like it has been leaningover since . . . Well, since at least last Tuesday at around threeo'clock. Before that, I fear it was left dry for several weeks. "

"Tweaty's right, " agreed Nibbles. "I can see it starting to straightenup even as I look at it!"

"Then how, " began Elephant, "did it . . . Oh, I think I know. "

"Of course!" added Lisa. "Glinda has already been here. She has alreadydetermined the source of the problem and fixed it!"

As she spoke, she noticed out of the corner of her left eye that anotherpersonage had joined the group. 

"Glinda!" said Ozma, instantly recognizing the newcomer. 

"Your Majesty, " replied Glinda with a loving smile. "I see that you havecome to see that the Yoraitians have been provided for. It was reallyvery simple. You see, a tribe of giant polka-dot beavers had justclaimed a territory a few miles up the river. It is natural forpolka-dot beavers to build dams, and they had no awareness that theirswas blocking off the water supply of any inhabited towns. Once theyfound out, they were happy to remedy the situation. Now they are happilyhelping Yoraitia to better utilize its water supply. They are reallyvery intelligent animals, and they have acknowledged you as their Queen, too. "

"I am very pleased, " said the youthful ruler. 

"But that is not why we are here, " put in Lisa quickly. "The Queen needsher Anmars. It is the only way that she can save the residents of theLunechien Forest. "

"The Lunechien Forest?" echoed the Good Witch. "Why, my goodness! Whatis wrong with the Lunechien Forest? The last I read of it in my GreatBook of Records, it was a very happy land of elephants and unicorns andother carefree creatures. "

"Indeed it was, " said the Forest Monster gravely. "But I'm afraid itshardships are all my fault. In my thirst for power, I drained many ofthe small, unfortunate beasts of all their strengths and abilities. Ihave since seen the error of my ways, and I repent of my unOzlikeactions. I had been so blinded by my resentment toward the Cowardly Lionthat I was not even thinking about how much wickedness I was doing. Thelittle Princess-Queen of Oz has forgiven me already. I am willing to dowhatever I can to make restitution for my acts. I know that you are alsoa Queen and that you are one of Ozma's closest advisors. If you wish mebanished from all Oz once you have restored all of my poor victims, Iwill accept the punishment without a murmur. "

The shadow of Rube Marquard stood still and listened with a puzzledexpression on his face. 

Ozma looked at Glinda. "The Forest Monster really has repented, " shesaid. "I saw the change with my own two eyes. He is willing to berestored to the size of a natural spider so that all the others can havewhat he took from them. "

"Then it shall be done, " agreed Glinda, handing Ozma the magical tool. 

The Forest Monster carried the entire group--including Glinda--to thefamous Ozian forest. Instantly, he and Ozma gathered up the comatoseLunechien animals and prepared to restore them to rights. 

Glinda also lent a hand in the restoration process. It was not an easytask, but in only a little more than fourteen hours the lush LunechienForest was once again alive with the sounds of joyful birds and animalsmilling about among the trees and bushes. 

At the end of it all, the Forest Monster was as small as a typicalarachnid. Still, his tiny face was all smiles. Indeed, he was as happyas a lark that the poor animals he had wronged could be righted again. And, in fact, it has been recorded in Glinda's Great Book of Recordsthat not a single animal was overlooked during the restoration process. All were brought back to their former care-free selves withoutexception. Well, maybe one exception. Somehow, in all of the hubbub, Tweaty was overlooked. He did not consider it politic to interrupt theproceedings. After all, his fellow beasts had had a far worseenchantment than he had. Of course it was uncomfortable to be a tinyorange elephant. But how much worse to be completely without oneself. Hedecided to wait until another time to ask to be restored. He felt thatit would be too much of a selfish act to ask Ozma or Glinda to take timeaway from those who truly needed their help when he knew that he couldstand to be a small orange elephant for a little while longer. 

The reunion of the Lunechien friends and families was a cause forcelebration throughout the Forest. A grand party was enjoyed by all, andeven the Cowardly Lion made another trip away from home to pay hisrespects upon his fellow Foresters. The celebration went on 'til the weehours of the morning, when Ozma and Glinda had to get back to theirregular duties. 

As for the residents of the Lunechien Forest, I am told that they are ashappy today as ever they were. 

The former Forest Monster, now content to stay small and keep a lowprofile, continues to this day to spin the most delicate and beautifulwebs you can imagine. And, indeed, he did have one of his creationscovered in gold, and gave it to Ozma as a sign of his submission to herrule. She keeps it hanging over her bed in such a way that it is thelast thing she looks upon at night. The spider-creature has told me thatit functions as a dreamcatcher, preventing any unhappy dreams from everreaching her as she slumbers. The Sleep Fays, who once kept out thesebad dreams, have voiced their gratitude to the former Forest Monster forthis fine gift. 

And now, it is time to say goodbye for a time to our happy friends inOz. But do not fret. Queen Ozma is always sending us new messages fromher glorious domain. I can assure you that it will not be so very longat all before we will all be getting together again over another Ozbook. Until then, both of your grateful historians wish you as muchhappiness as is again known in the Lunechien Forest of Oz. 

THE END

A hard copy of this book is available at:http://members. Aol. Com/LionCoward/home. Html Also available is thesequel: "The Magic Topaz of Oz"