THE DIARY AND LETTERS OF MADAME D'ARBLAY (FRANCES BURNEY. ) WITH NOTES BY W. C. WARD, AND PREFACED BY LORD MACAULAY'S ESSAY. IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. 2. (1787-1792. ) WITH AN ENGRAVING OF GEORGE III. , QUEEN CHARLOTTE, AND THEIR FAMILY. LONDON: VIZETELLY & CO. , 16, HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN. 1891. PRINTED BY J. S. VIRTUE & COMPANY, LONDON, CITY ROAD. 10. (1787) COURT DUTIES AT ST. JAMES'S AND WINDSOR --9-48 The Queen's Birthday Drawing Room--A Serious Dilemma--Counsels ofa Court Official--Mr. Turbulent's Anxiety to Introduce Mr. Wellbred--Colonel Wellbred is received at Tea--Eccentric Mr. Bryant--Mr. Turbulent in a New Character--Bantering a Princess--Mr. Turbulent meets with a Rebuff--A Surprise at the Play--TheKing's Birthday--The Equerries: Colonel Manners--The Duchess dePolignac at Windsor--Colonel Manners' Musical Accomplishments--Mrs. Schwellenberg's "Lump of Leather"--Mrs. Schwellenberg'sFrogs--Mr. Turbulent's Antics. 11 (1787-8) COURT DUTIES: SOME VARIATIONS IN THEIR ROUTINE--49-85 Meeting of the two Princes--Bunbury, the Caricaturist--Mrs. Siddons proves disappointing on near acquaintance--Mr. Fairly'sBereavement--Troublesome Mr. Turbulent--A Conceited Parson--Mr. Turbulent becomes a Nuisance--Dr. Herschel and his Sister--Gayand Entertaining Mr. Bunbury--The Prince of Wales at Windsoragain--False Rumours of Miss Burney's Resignation--TyrannicalMrs. Schwellenberg--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Capriciousness--NewYear's Day--Chatty Mr. Bryant again--Dr. Johnson's Letters toMrs. Thrale discussed--A Pair of Paragons--Mr. Turbulent's SelfCondemnation--Miss Burney among her Old Friends--Some TrivialCourt Incidents. 12 (1788) THE TRIAL OF WARREN HASTINGS--86-153 Westminster Hall at the opening of the Hastings Trial--WarrenHastings appears at the Bar--The Lord Chancellor's Speech--TheReading of the Charges commenced--An Old Acquaintance--WilliamWindham, Esq. , M. P. --Windham inveighs against Warren Hastings--Miss Burney Battles for the Accused--A Wearied M. P. --Mr. Crutchley reappears--Mr. Windham discusses the Impeachment--Windham affects to commiserate Hastings--Miss Burney is againpresent at Hastings's Trial--Burke's Speech in support of theCharges--Further Conversation with Mr. Windham--Miss Fuzilierlikely to become Mrs. Fairly--The Hastings Trial again: Mr. Foxin a Rage--Mrs. Crewe, Mr. Burke and Mr. Windham--Miss Burney'sUnbiassed Sentiments--Burke and Sheridan meet with ColdReceptions--At Windsor again--Death of Mrs. Delany--The page vi Hastings Trial and Mr. Windham again--"The Queen is so kind"--Personal Resemblance between Windham and Hastings--Death of YoungLady Mulgrave--Again at Windsor--Another Meeting with Mr. Crutchley--Mr. Turbulent's troublesome Pleasantries--ColonelFairly and Second Attachments. 13. (1788) ROYAL VISIT TO CHELTENHAM--154--219 The Royal Party and their Suite--Loyalty not Damped by the Rain--Arrival at Fauconberg Hall--The Tea-Table Difficulty--At`ete-`a-t`ete wit" Colonel Fairly--The King'sGentlemen and the Queen's Ladies--Royalty Crowded at FauconbergHall--At the wells--Conversation and Flirtation with ColonelFairly--Miss Burney meets an old Friend--Colonel Fairly again--AVisit to miss Palmer--"Original Love Letters"--The Founder ofSunday Schools criticised--On the Walks--An Unexpected Visitor--Courts and Court Life--The Vindictive Baretti--speculations uponColonel Fairly's Re-marrying--Colonel Fairly again presentsHimself--The Colonel and the "Original Love Letters"--The Goutand the Love Letters again--A Dinner with Colonel Fairly and MissPlanta--Royal Concern for the Colonel's Gout--young RepublicansConverted--The Princes' Animal Spirits--The Duke of York: RoyalVisit to the Theatre--An uncourtly visitor--Mr. Fairly reads"Akenside" to Miss Burney--The Doctor's Embarrassment--From Graveto Gay--A Visit to Worcester--The Queen and Mr. Fairly--Mr. Fairly Moralizes--Major Price is tired of Retirement--The Returnto Windsor--At Windsor again: The Canon and Mrs. Schwellenberg--Compliments from a famous Foreign Astronomer--The Prince eyesmiss Burney curiously--Colonel manners's Beating--mr. Fairly isDiscussed by his Brother Equerries--Baron Trenck: Mr. Turbulent'sRaillery--Amiable Mrs. Schwellenberg again--A Royal Joke--ColonelGoldsworthy's Breach of Etiquette--Illness of Mrs. Schwellenberg--General Grenville's Regiment at Drill. 14. (1788-9) THE KING'S ILLNESS--220-299 Uncertain State of the King's Health--The King complains of Want of Sleep--Distress of the Queen--First Outburst of theKing's Delirium--An Anxious Night--The King's DeliriousCondition-The King refuses to see Dr. Warren--The Queen's anxietyto hear Dr. Warren's opinion--The Queen removes to more distantApartments--A Visit from Mr. Fairly--The King's Night Watchers--AChange in Miss Burney's Duties--Mr. Fairly Succeeds in Soothingthe King--New Arrangements--The Princess Augusta's Birthday--Strange Behaviour of the First Gentleman in Europe--Stringent NewRegulations--Mrs. Schwellenberg is back again--Public Prayers forthe King decided upon--Sir Lucas Pepys On the King's Condition-Further Changes at the Lodge--Mr. Fairly and the Learned Ladies--Reports on the King's Condition--Mr. Fairly thinks the King Page vii needs Stricter Management--Mr. Fairly wants a Change--Removal ofthe King to Kew determined upon--A Privy Council held--TheRemoval to Kew--A Mysterious Visitor--The King's Arrival--TheArrangements at Kew Palace--A Regency hinted at--Mr. Fairly'sKind Offices--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Parlour--A new PhysicianSummoned--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Opinion of Mr. Fairly--The King'svarying Condition--Dr. Willis and his Son--Learning in Women--TheQueen and Mr. Fairly's Visits-A Melancholy Birthday--Mr. Fairlyon Fans--Mr. Fairly continues his Visits: the Queen again Remarksupon them--The Search for Mr. Fairly--Miss Burney's Alarm onbeing chased by the King--A Royal Salute and Royal Confidences--Curiosity regarding Miss Burney's meeting with the King--TheRegency Bill--Infinitely Licentious!--Miss Burney is taxed withVisiting Gentlemen--Improvement in the King's Health--Mr. Fairlyand Mr. Windham--The King continues to improve--The King's Healthis completely Restored. 15. (1789) THE KING'S RECOVERY: ROYAL VISIT TO WEYMOUTH--300-333 The King's Reappearance--An Airing and its Consequences--Illuminations on the King's Recovery--Mr. Fairly on Miss Burney'sDuties--A Visit from Miss Fuzilier--A Command from Her Majesty--Colonel Manners mystifies Mrs. Schwellenberg--The SailorPrince--Loyal Reception of the King in the New Forest--The Royaljourney to Weymouth--Welcome to Weymouth--The Royal Plunge withMusical honours--"You must Kneel, Sir!"--Royal doings in andabout Weymouth--A Patient Audience--A Fatiguing but PleasantDay--Lulworth Castle--The Royal Party at the Assembly Rooms--Ajourney to Exeter and Saltram--May "One" come in?--An Excursionto Plymouth Dockyard--A Visit to a Seventy-four--A Day at MountEdgecumbe--Mr. Fairly on a Court Life--A Brief Sojourn atLongleat--Tottenham Court: Return to Windsor. 16. (1789-90) MR. FAIRLY'S MARRIAGE: THE HASTINGS TRIAL--334-365 Rumours of Mr. Fairly's impending Marriage--A Royal Visit to theTheatre: jammed in the Crowd--In the Manager's Box--Mr. Fairly'sMarriage imminent--Court Duties discussed--Mr. Fairly's StrangeWedding--Renewal of the Hastings Trial: A Political Impromptu--AnIllbred Earl of Chesterfield--Miss Burney in a New Capacity--Thelong-forgotten Tragedy: Miss Burnei again as Reader--ColonelManners in his Senatorial Capacity--A Conversation with Mr. Windham at the Hastings Trial--A Glimpse of Mrs. Piozzi--CaptainBurney wants a Ship to go to Court--Captain Burney and Mr. Windham--Mr. Windham speaks on a Legal Point--An EmphaticPeroration-An Aptitude for Logic and for Greek--More Talk withMr. Windham. Page viii 17. (1790-1) MISS BURNEY RESIGNS HER PLACE AT COURT--366-409 A Melancholy Confession--Captain Burney's Laconic Letter andInterview--Burke's Speech on the French Revolution--An AwkwardMeeting--A New Visit from Mrs. Fairly--One Tragedy Finished andAnother Commenced--Miss Burney's Resignation Memorial--Mr. Windham Intervenes--An Amusing Interview with Mr. Boswell--Ill, Unsettled, and Unhappy--A Medical Opinion on Miss Burney'sCondition--Miss Burney breaks the Matter to the Queen--TheMemorial and Explanatory Note--The Keeper of the Robes'Consternation--Leave of Absence is Suggested--A Royal Gift to theMaster of the Horse--Conferences with the Queen--Miss Burneydetermines on Seclusion--The Hastings Trial Resumed: The Accusedmakes his Defence--Mr. Windham is Congratulated on his Silence--Miss Burney makes her Report--Prince William insists on theKing's Health being Drunk--The Queen's Health--The Procession tothe Ball-room: Absence of the Princes--Boswell's Life ofjohnson--The Close of Miss Burney's Court Duties--Miss Burney'sSuccessor: A Pension from the Queen--Leavetakings--Farewell toKew--The Final Parting. 18. (1791-2) REGAINED LIBERTY--410-468 Released from Duty--A Western journey: Farnham Castle--A Party ofFrench Fugitives--Winchester Cathedral--Stonehenge, Wilton, andMilton Abbey--Lyme and Sidmouth--Sidmouth Loyalty--PowderhamCastle and Collumpton Church--Glastonbury Abbey--WellsCathedral--Bath Revisited--A Visit from Lady Spencer--Bath SundaySchools--Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire--Bishop Percy--TheDuchess of Devonshire again--Dr. Burney's Conversation with Mr. Burke: Remarks by Miss Burney--Literary Recreation--Sir JoshuaReynoldsls Blindness--Among Old Friends--A Summons from theQueen--Mr. Hastings's Defence--Diverse Views--Mr. Law's SpeechDiscussed--Mr. Windham on the French National Assembly--"ABarbarous Business!"--Death of Sir Joshua Reynolds--Mr. Windhamtwitted on his Lack of Compassion--A Point of Ceremonial--Mrs. Schwellenberg and Mlle. Jacobi--A Long Talk with the King andQueen--Madame de Genlis: a Woeful Change--The Weeping BeautyAgain--Madame de la Fite and Mrs. Hastings--The Impetuous Orator--Mimicry of Dr. Johnson--The King's Birthday--Mr. Hastings'sSpeech--A Well-preserved Beauty--The Burkes--Burke'sConversational Powers--A Wild Irish Girl--Erskine's Egotism--Caen-wood---An Adventure with Mrs. Crewe--An Invitation fromArthur Young. SECTION 10. (1787) COURT DUTIES AT ST. JAMES'S AND WINDSOR. THE QUEEN'S BIRTHDAY DRAWING ROOM. January. Go back to the 16th, when I went to town, accompaniedonly by Mr. De Luc. I saw my dear father the next morning, whogave me a poem on the queen's birthday, to present. It was verypretty; but I felt very awkward in offering it to her, as it wasfrom so near a relation, and without any particular reason ormotive. Mr. Smelt came and stayed with me almost all themorning, and soothed and solaced me by his charming converse. The rest of the day was devoted to milliners, mantua-makers, andsuch artificers, and you may easily conjecture how great must bemy fatigue. Nevertheless, when, in the midst of these wastefultoils, the Princess Augusta entered my room, and asked me, fromthe queen, if I should wish to see the ball the next day, Ipreferred running the risk of that new fatigue, to declining anhonour so offered: especially as the Princess Augusta was herselfto open the ball. A chance question this night from the queen, whom I now againattended as usual, fortunately relieved me from my embarrassmentabout the poem. She inquired of me if my father was stillwriting? "A little, " I answered, and the next morning, Thursday, the 18th, when the birth-day was kept, I found her all sweetnessand serenity; mumbled out my own little compliment, which shereceived as graciously as if she had understood and heard it; andthen, Page 10 when she was dressed, I followed her through the great rooms, toget rid of the wardrobe woman, and there taking the poem from mypocket, I said "I told your majesty that my father had written alittle!--and here--the little is!" She took it from me with a smile and a curtsey, and I ran off. She never has named it since; but she has spoken of my fatherwith much sweetness and complacency. The modest dignity of thequeen, upon all subjects of panegyric, is truly royal and noble. I had now, a second time, the ceremony of being entirely newdressed. I then went to St. James's, where the queen gave a verygracious approbation of my gewgaws, and called upon the king tobestow the same; which his constant goodhumour makes a matter ofgreat ease to him. The queen's dress, being for her own birthday, was extremelysimple, the style of dress considered. The king was quitesuperb, and the Princesses Augusta and Elizabeth were ornamentedwith much brilliancy. Not only the princess royal was missed at this exhibition, butalso the Prince of Wales. He wrote, however, his congratulationsto the queen, though the coldness then subsisting between him andhis majesty occasioned his absence from Court. I fear it wasseverely felt by his royal mother, though she appeared composedand content. The two princesses spoke very kind words, also, about my fripperyon this festival; and Princess Augusta laid her positive commandsupon me that I should change my gown before I went to the lordchamberlain's box, where only my head could be seen. The counselproved as useful as the consideration was amiable. When the queen was attired, the Duchess of Ancaster was admittedto the dressing room, where she stayed, in conversation withtheir majesties and the princesses, till it was time to summonthe bed-chamber women. During this, I had the office of holdingthe queen's train. I knew, for me, it was a great honour, yet itmade me feel, once more, so like a mute upon the stage, that Icould scarce believe myself only performing my own realcharacter. Mrs. Stainforth and I had some time to stand upon the stairsbefore the opening of the doors. We joined Mrs. Fielding and herdaughters, and all entered together, but the crowd parted us -they all ran on, and got in as they could, and I Page 11 remained alone by the door. They soon found me out, and madesigns to me, which I saw not, and then they sent me messages thatthey had kept room for me just by them. I had received ordersfrom the queen to go out at the end of the second country dance ;I thought, therefore, that as I now was seated by the door, I hadbetter be content, and stay where I could make my exit in amoment, and without trouble or disturbance. A queer-looking oldlady sat next me, and I spoke to her now and then, by way ofseeming to belong to somebody. She did not appear to knowwhether it were advisable for her to answer me or not, seeing mealone, and with high head ornaments; but as I had no plan but tosave appearances to the surrounders, I was perfectly satisfiedthat my very concise propositions should meet with yet morelaconic replies. Before we parted, however, finding me quiet and inoffensive, shebecame voluntarily sociable, and I felt so much at home, by beingstill in a part of the palace, that I needed nothing further thanjust so much notice as not to seem an object to be avoided. The sight which called me to that spot perfectly answered all myexpectations: the air, manner, and countenance of the queen, asshe goes round the circle, are truly graceful and engaging: Ithought I could understand, by the motion of her lips, and theexpression of her face, even at the height and distance of thechamberlain's box, the gracious and pleasant speeches she made toall whom she approached. With my glass, you know, I can see justas other people see with the naked eye. The princesses looked extremely lovely, and the whole Court wasin the utmost splendour. A SERIOUS DILEMMA. At the appointed moment I slipped through the door, leaving myold lady utterly astonished at my sudden departure, and I passed, alone and quietly, to Mr. Rhamus's apartment, which wasappropriated for the company to wait in. Here I desired aservant I met with to call my man: he was not to be found. Iwent down the stairs, and made them call him aloud, by my name;all to no purpose. Then the chairmen were called, but calledalso in vain! What to do I knew not ; though I was still in a part of the Page 12 palace, it was separated by many courts, avenues, passages, andalleys, from the queen's or my own apartments- and though I hadso lately passed them, I could not remember the way, nor at thatlate hour could I have walked, dressed as I then was, and theground wet with recent rain, even if I had had a servant: I hadtherefore ordered the chair allotted me for these days; but chairand chairmen and footmen were alike out of the way. My fright lest the queen should wait for me was very serious. Ibelieve there are state apartments through which she passes, andtherefore I had no chance to know when she retired from theball-room. Yet could I not stir, and was forced to return to theroom whence I came, in order to wait for John, that I might beout of the way of the cold winds which infested the hall. I now found a young clergyman, standing by the fire. I supposemy anxiety was visible, for he instantly inquired if he couldassist me. I declined his offer, but walked up and down, makingfrequent questions about my chair and John. He then very civilly said, "You seem distressed, ma'am; would youpermit me the honour to see for your chair, or, if it is notcome, as you seem hurried, would you trust me to see you home?" I thanked him, but could not accept his services. He was sorry, he said, that I refused him, but could not wonder, as he was astranger. I made some apologising answer, and remained in thatunpleasant situation till, at length, a hackneychair was procuredme. My new acquaintance would take no denial to handing me tothe chair. When I got in, I told the men to carry me to thepalace. "We are there now!" cried they; "what part of the palace?" I was now in a distress the most extraordinary : I really knewnot my own direction! I had always gone to my apartment in achair, and had been carried by chairmen officially appointed;and, except that it was in St. James's palace, I knew nothing ofmy own situation. "Near the park, " I told them, and saw my new esquire look utterlyamazed at me. "Ma'am, " said he, " half the palace is in the park. " "I don't know how to direct, " cried I, in the greatestembarrassment, "but it is somewhere between Pall Mall and thepark. " Page 13 "I know where the lady lives well enough, " cried one of thechairmen, "'tis in St. James's street. " "No, no, " cried I, "'tis in St. James's palace. " "Up with the chair!" cried the other man, "I know best--'tis inSouth Audley-street; I know the lady well enough. " Think what a situation at the moment! I found they had both beendrinking the queen's health till they knew not what they said andcould with difficulty stand. Yet they lifted me up, and though Icalled in the most terrible fright to be let out, they carried medown the steps. I now actually screamed for help, believing they would carry meoff to South Audley-street; and now my good genius, who hadwaited patiently in the crowd, forcibly stopped the chairmen, whoabused him violently, and opened the door himself, and I ran backto the hall. You may imagine how earnestly I returned my thanks for this mostseasonable assistance, without which I should almost have diedwith terror, for where they might have taken or dropped me, orhow or where left me, who could say? He begged me to go again upstairs, but my apprehension about thequeen prevented me. I knew she was to have nobody but me, andthat her jewels, though few, were to be intrusted back to thequeen's house to no other hands. I must, I said, go, be it inwhat manner it might. All I could devise was to summon Mr. Rhamus, the page. I had never seen him, but my attendance uponthe queen would be an apology for the application, and Idetermined to put myself under his immediate protection. Mr. Rhamus was nowhere to be found ; he was already supposed tobe gone to the queen's house, to wait the arrival of his majesty. This news redoubled my fear; and now my new acquaintance desiredme to employ him in making inquiries for me as to the direction Iwanted. It was almost ridiculous, in the midst of my distress, to be thusat a loss for an address to myself! I felt averse to speaking myname amongst so many listeners, and only told him he would muchoblige me by finding out a direction to Mrs. Haggerdorn's rooms. He went upstairs ; and returning, said he could now direct thechairmen, if I did not fear trusting them. I did fear--I even shook with fear; yet my horror ofdisappointing the queen upon such a night prevailed over all myreluctance, and I ventured once more into the chair, thankingthis excellent Samaritan, and begging him to give the directionvery particularly. Page 14 Imagine, however, my gratitude and my relief, when, instead ofhearing the direction, I heard only these words, " Follow me. " And then did this truly benevolent young man himself play thefootman, in walking by the side of the chair till we came to analley, when he bid them turn; but they answered him with an oath, and ran on with me, till the poles ran against a wall, for theyhad entered a passage in which there was no outlet! I would fainhave got out, but they would not hear me; they would only pullthe chair back, and go on another way. But my guardian angeltold them to follow him, or not, at their peril ; and then walkedbefore the chair. We next came to a court where we were stopped by the sentinels. They said they had orders not to admit any hackney chairs. Thechairmen vowed they would make way; I called out aloud to be setdown; the sentinels said they would run their bayonets throughthe first man that attempted to dispute their orders. I thenscreamed out again to be set down, and my new and good friendperemptorily forced them to stop, and opening the door withviolence, offered me his arm, saying, "You had better trustyourself with me, ma'am!" Most thankfully I now accepted what so fruitlessly I haddeclined, and I held by his arm, and we walked on together, butneither of us knew whither, nor the right way from the wrong 1 Itwas really a terrible situation. The chairmen followed us, clamorous for money, and full of abuse. They demanded half a crown - my companion refused to listen tosuch an imposition : my shaking hand could find no purse, and Ibegged him to pay them what they asked, that they might leave us. He did ; and when they were gone, I shook less, and was able topay that one part of the debt I was now contracting. We wandered about, heaven knows where, in a way the most alarmingand horrible to myself imaginable: for I never knew where Iwas. --It was midnight. I concluded the queen waiting for me. --Itwas wet. My head was full dressed. I was under the care of atotal stranger; and I knew not which side to take, wherever wecame. Inquiries were vain. The sentinels alone were in sight, and they are so continually changed that they knew no more ofMrs. Haggerdorn than if she had never resided here. At length I spied a door open, and I begged to enter it at aventure, for information. Fortunately a person stood in thepassage who instantly spoke to me by my name; I never Page 15 heard that sound with more glee: to me he was a stranger, but Isuppose he had seen me in some of the apartments. I begged himto direct me straight to the queen's rooms: he did ; and I thentook leave of my most humane new friend, with a thousandacknowledgments for his benevolence and services. Was it not a strange business ? I can never say what an agony Offright it cost me at the time, nor ever be sufficiently gratefulfor the kind assistance, so providentially afforded me. ' COUNSELS OF A COURT OFFICIAL. The general directions and counsel of Mr. Smelt, which I havescrupulously observed ever since, were, in abridgment, these:- That I should see nobody at all but by appointment. This, as hewell said, would obviate, not only numerous personalinconveniences to myself, but prevent alike surprises from thoseI had no leave to admit, and repetitions of visits from otherswho might inadvertently come too often. He advised me to tellthis to my father, and beg it might be spread, as a settled partof my situation, among all who inquired for me. That I should see no fresh person whatsoever without an immediatepermission from the queen, nor any party, even amongst thosealready authorised, without apprising her of such a plan. That I should never go out without an immediate application toher, so that no possible inquiry for me might occasion surpriseor disappointment. These, and other similar ties, perhaps, had my spirits beenbetter, I might less readily have acceded to : as it was, I wouldhave bound myself to as many more. At length, however, even then, I was startled when Mr. Smelt, with some earnestness, said, "And, with respect to your parties, such as you may occasionally have here, you have but one rule forkeeping all things smooth, and all partisans unoffended, at adistance--which is, to have no men--none! I stared a little, and made no answer. "Yes, " cried he, "Mr. Locke may be admitted; but him only. Yourfather, you know, is of course. " Still I was silent: after a pause of some length, he plumply Yetwith an evidently affected unmeaningness, said, "Mr. Cambridge--as to Mr. Cambridge--" I stopped him short at once; I dared not trust to what Page 16 might follow, and eagerly called Out, "Mr. Cambridge, Sir, Icannot exclude! So much friendship and kindness I owe, and havelong owed him, that he would go about howling at my ingratitude, could I seem so suddenly to forget it!" My impetuosity in uttering this surprised, but silenced him; hesaid not a word more, nor did I. MR. TURBULENT's ANXIETY TO INTRODUCE MR. WELLBRED. Windsor, Sunday, Jan. 28. -I was too ill to go to church. I wasnow, indeed, rarely well enough for anything but absolute andunavoidable duties ; and those were still painfully and forciblyperformed. I had only Miss Planta for my guest, and when she went to theprincesses I retired for a quiet and solitary evening to my ownroom. But here, while reading, I was interrupted by a tat-tat atmy door. I opened it and saw Mr. Turbulent. . . . He cameforward, and began a gay and animated conversation, with a flowof spirits and good humour which I had never observed in himbefore. His darling colonel(230) was the subject that he still harpedupon; but it was only with a civil and amusing raillery, not, asbefore, with an overpowering vehemence to conquer. Probably, however, the change in myself might be as observable as in him, --since I now ceased to look upon him with that distance andcoldness which hitherto he had uniformly found in me. I must give you a little specimen of him in this new dress. After some general talk, "When, ma'am, " he said, "am I to have the honour of introducingColonel Wellbred to you?" "Indeed, I have not settled that entirely!" "Reflect a little, then, ma'am, and tell me. I only wish to knowwhen. " "Indeed to tell you that is somewhat more than I am able to do; Imust find it out myself, first. " " Well, ma'am, make the inquiry as speedily as possible, I beg. What say you to now? shall I call him up? "No, no, --pray let him alone. " "But will you not, at least, tell me your reasons for thisconduct?" Page 17 "Why, frankly, then, if you will hear them and be quiet, I willconfess them. " I then told him, that I had so little time to myself, that togain even a single evening was to gain a treasure; and that I hadno chance but this. "Not, " said I, "that I wish to avoid him, but to break the custom of constantly meeting with theequerries. " "But it is impossible to break the custom, ma'am; it has been soalways: the tea-table has been the time of uniting the company, ever since the king came to Windsor. " " Well, but everything now is upon a new construction. I am notpositively bound to do everything Mrs. Haggerdorn did, and hishaving drank tea with her will not make him conclude he must alsodrink tea with me. " No, no, that is true, I allow. Nothing that belonged to her canbring conclusions round to you. But still, why begin withColonel Wellbred? You did not treat Colonel Goldsworthy so?" "I had not the power of beginning with him. I did what I could, I assure you. " "Major Price, ma'am?--I never heard you avoided him. " "No; but I knew him before I came, and he knew much of my family, and indeed I am truly sorry that I shall now see no more of him. But Colonel Wellbred and I are mutually strangers. " "All people are so at first, every acquaintance must have abeginning. " "But this, if you are quiet, we are most willing should havenone. " "Not he, ma'am--he is not so willing; he wishes to come. Heasked me, to-day, if I had spoke about it. " I disclaimed believing this; but he persisted in asserting it, adding "For he said if I had spoke he would come. " "He is very condescending, " cried I, "but I am satisfied he wouldnot think of it at all, if you did not put it in his head. " "Upon my honour, You are mistaken; we talk just as much of itdown there as up here. " "you would much oblige me if you would not talk of it, - neitherthere nor here. " "Let me end it, then, by bringing him at once!" "No, no, leave us both alone: he has his resources and hisengagements as much as I have; we both are best as we now are. " Page 18 "But what can he say, ma'am? Consider his confusion and disgrace! It is well known, in the world, the private life that the royalfamily live at Windsor, and who are the attendants that belong tothem; and when Colonel Wellbred quits his waiting--three months'waiting and is asked how he likes Miss Burney, he must answer hehas never seen her! And what, ma'am, has Colonel Wellbred done tomerit such a mortification?" It was impossible not to laugh at such a statement of the case;and again he requested to bring him directly. "One quarter of anhour will content me ; I only wish to introduce him--for the sakeof his credit in the world; and when once you have met, you needmeet no more; no consequences whatever need be drawn to thedetriment of your solitude. " I begged him to desist, and let us both rest. "But have you, yourself, ma'am, no curiosity--no desire to seeColonel Wellbred?" "None in the world. " "If, then, hereafter you admit any other equerry--" "No, no, I intend to carry the new construction throughout. " "Or if you suffer anyone else to bring you Colonel Wellbred. " "Depend upon it I have no such intention. " "But if any other more eloquent man prevails--" " Be assured there is no danger. " "Will you, at least, promise I shall be present at the meet--?" " There will be no meeting. " "You are certainly, then, afraid of him?" I denied this, and, hearing the king's supper called, he took hisleave ; though not before I very seriously told him that, howeveramusing all this might be as pure badinage, I Should be very earnestly vexed if he took any steps in the matterwithout my consent. COLONEL WELLBRED IS RECEIVED AT TEA. Feb. 2. -MISS Planta came to tea, and we went together to theeating-parlour, which we found quite empty. Mr. Turbulent'sstudious table was all deserted, and his books laid waste; but ina very few minutes he entered again, with his arms spread wide, his face all glee, and his voice all triumph, calling out, Page 19 "Mr. Smelt and Colonel Wellbred desire leave to wait upon missBurney to tea!" A little provoked at this determined victory over my will and mywish, I remained silent, - but Miss Planta broke forth into openupbraidings: "Upon my word, Mr. Turbulent, this is really abominable it is allyour own doing--and if I was Miss Burney I would not bear it!"and much more, till he fairly gave her to understand she hadnothing to do with the matter. Then, turning to me, "What am I to say, ma'am? am I to tellColonel Wellbred you hesitate?" He protested he came upon theembassy fairly employed. "Not fairly, I am sure, Mr. Turbulent The whole is a device andcontrivance of your own! Colonel Wellbred would have been asquiet as myself, had you left him alone. " "Don't throw it all upon me, ma'am; 'tis Mr. Smelt. But what arethey to think of this delay? are they to suppose it requiresdeliberation whether or not you can admit a gentleman to yourtea-table?" I begged him to tell me, at least, how it had passed, and in whatmanner he had brought his scheme about. But he would give me nosatisfaction; he only said "You refuse to receive him, ma'am?--shall I go and tell him you refuse to receive him?" "O No, This was enough -. He waited no fuller consent, but ran off. Miss Planta began a good-natured repining for me. I determinedto fetch some work before they arrived; and in coming for it tomy own room, I saw Mr. Turbulent, not yet gone downstairs. Ireally believe, by the strong marks of laughter on hiscountenance, that he had stopped to compose himself before hecould venture to appear in the equerryroom! I looked at him reproachfully, and passed on; he shook his headat me in return, and hied downstairs. I had but just time torejoin Miss Planta when he led the way to the two Othergentlemen: entering first, with the most earnest curiosity, towatch the scene. Mr. Smelt followed, introducing the colonel. I could almost have laughed, so ridiculous had the behaviour ofMr. Turbulent, joined to his presence and watchfulness, renderedthis meeting; and I saw in Colonel Wellbred the most evidentmarks of similar sensations: for he coloured Page 20 violently on his entrance, and seemed in an embarrassment that, to any one who knew not the previous tricks of Mr. Turbulent, must have appeared really distressing. And, in truth, Mr. Smelthimself, little imagining what had preceded the interview, was somuch struck with his manner and looks, that he conceived him tobe afraid of poor little me, and observed, afterwards, with what"blushing diffidence" he had begun the acquaintance! I, who saw the true cause through the effect, felt more provokedthan ever with Mr. Turbulent, since I was now quite satisfied hehad been as busy with the colonel about me, as with me about thecolonel. He is tall, his figure is very elegant, and his face veryhandsome: he is sensible, well-bred, modest, and intelligent. Ihad always been told he was very amiable and accomplished, andthe whole of his appearance confirmed the report. The discourse was almost all Mr. Smelt's, the colonel was silentand reserved, and Mr. Turbulent had resolved to be a merewatchman. The king entered early and stayed late, and took awaywith him, on retiring, all the gentlemen. Feb. 3. -As the tea hour approached, to-day, Mr. Turbulent grewvery restless. I saw what was passing in his mind, and thereforeforbore ordering tea; but presently, and suddenly, as if fromsome instant impulse, he gravely came up to me, and said "Shall I go and call the colonel, ma'am?" "No, sir!" was my johnsonian reply. "What, ma'am!--won't you give him a little tea?" "No, no, no!--I beg you will be at rest!" He shrugged his shoulders, and walked away; and Mr. Smelt, smiling, said, "Will you give us any?" "O yes, surely cried I, and was going away to ring for the man. I believe I have already mentioned that I had no bell at all, except in my bedroom, and that only for my maid, whom I wasobliged to summon first, like Smart's monkey-- "Here, Betty!--Nan!-- Go, call the maid, to call the man!" For Mrs. Haggerdorn had done without, twenty-six years, by alwayskeeping her servant in waiting at the door. I could never endureinflicting such a hardship, and therefore had always to run to mybedroom, and wait the progress of the maid's arrival, and then ofher search of the man, ere ever Page 21 I could give him an order. A mighty tiresome and inconvenientceremony. Mr Turbulent insisted upon saving me this trouble, andwent 'out himself to speak to John. But you will believe me alittle amazed, when, in a very few minutes, he returned again, accompanied by his colonel! My surprise brought the colour bothinto my own cheeks and those of my guests. Mr. Smelt lookedpleased; and Mr. Turbulent, though I saw he was half afraid ofwhat he was doing, could by no means restrain a most exultingsmile, which was constantly in play during the whole evening. Mr. Smelt instantly opened a conversation, with an ease and goodbreeding which drew every one into sharing it. The colonel wasfar less reserved and silent, and I found him very pleasing, veryunassuming, extremely attentive, and sensible and obliging. Themoment, however, that we mutually joined in the discourse, Mr. Turbulent came to my side, and seating himself there, whisperedthat he begged my pardon for the step he had taken. I made himno answer, but talked on with the colonel and Mr. Smelt. He. Then whispered me again, "I am now certain of your forgiveness, since I see your approbation!" And when still I said nothing, he interrupted every speech to the colonel withanother little whisper, saying that his end was obtained, and hewas now quite happy, since he saw he had obliged me! At length he proceeded so far, with so positive a determinationto be answered, that he absolutely compelled me to say I forgavehim, lest he should go on till the colonel heard him. ECCENTRIC MR. BRYANT. Feb. 9-This morning, soon after my breakfast, the princess royalcame to fetch me to the queen. She talked of Mrs. Delany all theway, and in terms of affection that can never fail to raise herin the minds of all who hear her. The queen was alone; and toldme she had been so much struck with the Duke of Suffolk's letterto his son, in the Paston collection, (231) Page 22 that she wished to hear my opinion of it. She then condescendedto read it to me. It is indeed both instructive and interesting. She was so gracious, when she dismissed me, as to lend me thebook, desiring me to have it sent back to her apartment when Iwent to dinner. I had invited Mr. Bryant to dinner. He came an hour before, andI could not read "Paston, " but rejoiced the more in his livingintelligence. We talked upon the "Jew's Letters, " which he had lent me. Have I mentioned them? They are amighty well written defence of the Mosaic law and mission, and as orthodox for Christians as for Jews, with regard to theirmain tenor, which is to refute the infidel doctrine of Voltaireup to the time of our Saviour. Before our dinner we were joined by 'Mr. Smelt ; and theconversation was then very good. The same subject was continued, except where it was interrupted by Mr. Bryant's speaking of hisown works, which was very frequently, and with a droll sort ofsimplicity that had a mixture of nature and of humour extremelyamusing. He told us, very frankly his manner of writing; heconfessed that what he first committed to paper seldomcould be printed without variation or correction, even to asingle line: he copied everything over, he said, himself, andthree transcribings were the fewest he could ever make do; but, generally, nothing went from him to the press under seven. Mr. Turbulent and Miss Planta came to dinner, and it was verycheerful. Ere it was over John told me somebody wanted me. Idesired they might be shewn to my room till the things wereremoved; but, as these were some time taking away, I called Johnto let me know who it was. "The princess royal, ma'am, " was hisanswer, with perfect ease. Up I started, ashamed and eager, and flew to her royal highnessinstantly : and I found her calmly and quietly waiting, shut upin my room, without any candles, and almost wholly in the dark, except from the light of the fire! I made allpossible apologies, and doubled and trebled them upon herSmilingly saying "I would not let them tell you who it was, norhurry you, for I know 'tis so disagreeable to be called Page 23 away in the middle of dinner. " And then, to reconcile me to thelittle accident, she took hold of both my hands. She came to me from the queen, about the "Paston Letters, " whichJohn had not carried to the right page. Very soon after came the king, who entered into a gaydisquisition with Mr. Bryant upon his school achievements towhich he answered with a readiness and simplicity highlyentertaining. "You are an Etonian, Mr. Bryant, " said the king, "but pray, forwhat were you most famous at school?" We all expected, from the celebrity of his scholarship, to hearhim answer his Latin Exercises but no such thing. "Cudgelling, Sir. I was most famous for that. " While a general laugh followed this speech, he very gravelyproceeded to particularize his feats though unless you could seethe diminutive figure, the weak, thin, feeble, little frame, whence issued the proclamation of his prowess, you can but veryInadequately judge the comic effect of his big talk. "Your majesty, sir, knows General Conway? I broke his head forhim, sir. " The shout which ensued did not at all interfere with thesteadiness of his further detail. "And there's another man, Sir, a great stout fellow, Sir, as everyou saw--Dr. Gibbon, of the Temple: I broke his head too, sir. --Idon't know if he remembers it. " The king, afterwards, inquired after his present family, meaninghis dogs, which he is famed for breeding and preserving. "Why, sir, " he answered, "I have now only twelve. Once, Irecollect, when your majesty was so gracious as to ask me aboutthem, I happened to have twenty-two; and so I told you, sir. Upon my word, Sir, it made me very uneasy afterwards when I cameto reflect upon it: I was afraid your majesty might think Ipresumed to joke!" The king then asked him for some account of the Marlboroughfamily, with which he is very particularly connected and desiredto know which among the young Lady Spencers was his favourite. "Upon my word, sir, I like them all! Lady Elizabeth is a charmingyoung lady--I believe, Sir, I am most in her favour; I don't knowwhy, Sir. But I happened to write a letter to the duke, sir, that she took a fancy to; I don't know the reason, sir, but shebegged it. I don't know what was in the letter, Page 24 sir-I could never find out; but she took a prodigious fancy toit, sir. " The king laughed heartily, and supposed there might be somecompliments to herself in it. "Upon my word' sir, " cried he, "I am afraid your majesty willthink I was in love with her! but indeed, sir, I don't know whatwas in the letter. " The converse went on in the same style, and the king was so muchentertained by Mr. Bryant, that he stayed almost the wholeevening, MR TURBULENT IN A NEW CHARACTER. Friday, Feb. 16. -The instant I was left alone with Mr. Turbulenthe demanded to know my "project for his happiness;" and he madehis claim in a tone so determined, that I saw it would befruitless to attempt evasion or delay. "Your captivity, then, sir, " cried I-"for such I must call yourregarding your attendance to be indispensable is at an end: theequerry-coach is now wholly in your power. I have spoken myselfupon the subject to the queen, as you bid--at least, braved me todo; and I have now her consent to discharging you from allnecessity of travelling in our coach. "(232) He looked extremely provoked, and asked if I really meant toinform him I did not choose his company? I laughed the questionoff, and used a world of civil argument to persuade him I hadonly done him a good office: but I was fain to make the wholedebate as sportive as possible, as I saw him disposed to beseriously affronted. A long debate ensued. I had been, he protested, excessivelyill-natured to him. "What an impression, " cried he, "must thismake upon the queen! After travelling, with apparent content, sixyears With that oyster Mrs. Haggerdorn--now--now that travellingis become really agreeable--in that coach --I am to be turned outof it! How must it disgrace me in her opinion!" She was too partial, I said, to "that oyster, " to look upon thematter in such a degrading light nor would she think of it Page 25 at all, but as an accidental matter. I then added, that thereason that he had hitherto been destined to the female coachwas, that Mrs. Schwellenberg and Mrs. Haggerdorn were alwaysafraid of travelling by themselves; but that as I had morecourage, there was no need of such slavery. "Slavery!"--repeated he, with an emphasis that almost startledme, --"Slavery is pleasure--is happiness--when directed by ourwishes!" And then, with a sudden motion that made me quite jump, he casthimself at my feet, on both his knees-- "Your slave, " he cried, "I am content to be! your slave I amready to live and die!" I begged him to rise, and be a little less rhapsodic. "I haveemancipated you, " I cried; "do not, therefore, throw away thefreedom you have been six years sighing to obtain. You are nowyour own agent--a volunteer--" "If I am, " cried he, impetuously, "I dedicate myself to you!--Avolunteer, ma'am, remember that! I dedicate myself to you, therefore, of my own accord, for every journey! You shall notget rid of me these twenty years. " I tried to get myself away-but he would not let me move and hebegan, with still increasing violence of manner, a most ferventprotestation that he would not be set aside, and that he devotedhimself to me entirely. And, to say the simple truth, ridiculousas all this was, I really began to grow a little frightened byhis vehemence and his posture - till, at last, in the midst of analmost furious vow, in which he dedicated himself to me for ever, he relieved me, by suddenly calling upon Jupiter, Juno, Mars, andHercules, and every god, and every goddess, to witness his oath. And then, content with his sublimity, he arose. Was it not a curious scene? and have I not a curious fellowtraveller for my little journeys? Monday, Feb. 19. -This morning I Proposed to my fellow travellersthat we should begin our journey on foot. The wonderment withwhich they heard a proposal so new was diverting : but they allagreed to it; and though they declared that my predecessor, Mrs. Haggerdorn, would have thought the person fit for Bedlam whoshould have suggested such plan, no one could find any realobjection, and off we set, ordering the coach to proceed slowlyafter us. The weather was delightful, and the enterprise served to shortenand enliven the expedition, and pleased them all, Page 26 Mr. Turbulent began, almost immediately, an attack about hiscolonel : upon quite a new ground, yet as restless and earnest asupon the old one. He now reproached my attention to him, protesting I talked to him continually, and spun out into anhour's discourse what might have been said in three minutes. "And was it my spinning?" I could not forbear saying. "Yes, ma'am: for you might have dropped it. " "How?--by not answering when spoken to?" "by not talking to him, ma'am, more than to any one else. " "And pray, Mr. Turbulent, solve me, then, this difficulty; whatchoice has a poor female with whom she may converse? Must shenot, in company as in dancing, take up with those Who choose totake up with her?" He was staggered by this question, and while he wavered how toanswer it, I pursued my little advantage-- "No man, Mr. Turbulent, has any cause to be flattered that awoman talks with him, while it is only in reply; for though hemay come, go, address or neglect, and do as he will, -- she, lether think and wish what she may, must only follow as he leads. " He protested, with great warmth, he never heard any thing soproudly said in Ins life. But I would not retract. "And now, ma'am, " he continued, "how wondrous intimate you aregrown! After such averseness to a meeting--such struggles toavoid him; what am I to think of the sincerity of that pretendedreluctance?" "You must think the truth, " said I, "that it was not the colonel, but the equerry, I wished to avoid; that it was not theindividual, but the official necessity of receiving company, thatI wished to escape. " BANTERING A PRINCESS. March 1. - With all the various humours in which I had alreadyseen Mr. Turbulent, he gave me this evening a surprise, by hisbehaviour to one of the princesses, nearly the same that I hadexperienced from him myself. The Princess Augusta came, duringcoffee, for a knotting shuttle of the queen's. While she wasspeaking to me, he stood behind and exclaimed, `a demi voix, asif to himself, "Comme elle est jolie ce soir, son AltesseRoyale!" And then, seeing her blush extremely, he clasped hishands, in high pretended confusion, Page 27 and hiding his head, called Out, "Que ferai-je? The princess hasheard me!" "Pray, Mr. Turbulent, " cried she, hastily, "what play are you toread to-night?" "You shall choose, ma'am; either 'La Coquette corrigée, ' or--"[he named another I have forgotten. ] "O no!" cried she, "that last is shocking! don't let me hearthat!" "I understand you, ma'am. You fix, then, upon 'La Coquette?' 'La Coquette' is your royal highness's taste?" "No, indeed, I am sure I did not say that. " "Yes, ma'am, by implication. And certainly, therefore, I willread it, to please your royal highness!" "No, pray don't; for I like none of them. " "None of them, ma'am?" "No, none;--no French plays at all!" And away she was running, with a droll air, that acknowledged she had said something toprovoke him. "This is a declaration, ma'am, I must beg you to explain!" criedhe, gliding adroitly between the princess and the door, andshutting it With his back. "No, no, I can't explain it;--so pray, Mr. Turbulent, do open thedoor. " "Not for the world, ma'am, with such a stain uncleared upon yourroyal highness's taste and feeling!" She told him she positively could not stay, and begged him to lether pass instantly. But he would hear her no more than he hasheard me, protesting he was too much shocked for her, to sufferher to depart without clearing her own credit! He conquered at last, and thus forced to speak, she turned roundto us and said, "Well--if I must, then--I will appeal to theseladies, who understand such things far better than I do, and askthem if it is not true about these French plays, that they areall so like to one another, that to hear them in this mannerevery night is enough to tire one?" "Pray, then, madam, " cried he, "if French plays have themisfortune to displease you, what national plays have the honourOf your preference?" I saw he meant something that she understood better than me, forshe blushed again, and called out "Pray open the door at once! Ican stay no longer; do let me go, Mr. Turbulent!" Page 28 "Not till you have answered that question, ma'am' what countryhas plays to your royal highness's taste?" "Miss Burney, " cried she impatiently, yet laughing, "pray do youtake him away!--Pull him!" He bowed to me very invitingly for the office but I franklyanswered her, "Indeed, ma'am, I dare not undertake him! I cannotmanage him at all. " "The country! the country! Princess Augusta! name the happycountry!" was all she could gain. "Order him away, Miss Burney, " cried she. "It is your room:order him away from the door. " "Name it, ma'am, name it!" exclaimed he; "name but the chosennation!" And then, fixing her with the most provoking eyes, "Est-ce laDanemarc?" he cried. She coloured violently, and quite angry with him, called out, "Mr. Turbulent, how can you be such a fool!" And now I found . . . The prince royal of Denmark was in his meaning, and in herunderstanding! He bowed to the ground, in gratitude for the term "fool, " butadded with pretended Submission to her will, "Very well, ma'am, s'il ne faut lire que les comédies Danoises. " " Do let me go!" cried she, seriously; and then he made way, witha profound bow as she passed, saying, "Very well, ma'am, 'LaCoquette, ' then? your royal highness chooses 'La Coquettecorrigée?'" "Corrigée? That never was done!" cried she, with all her sweetgood-humour, the moment she got out - and off she ran, likelightning, to the queen's apartments. What say you to Mr. Turbulent now? For my part, I was greatly surprised. I had not imagined anyman, but the king or Prince of Wales, had ever ventured at abadinage of this sort with any of the princesses; nor do Isuppose any other man ever did. Mr. Turbulent is so great afavourite with all the royal family that he safely ventures uponwhatever he pleases, and doubtless they find, in his courage andhis rhodomontading, a novelty extremely amusing to them. MR. TURBULENT MEETS WITH A REBUFF. March--I must now, rather reluctantly I own, come to recite aquarrel, a very serious quarrel, in which I have been involvedwith my most extraordinary fellow-traveller. One evening atWindsor Miss Planta left the room, while I was Page 29 winding some silk. I was content to stay and finish the skein, though my remaining companion was in a humour too flighty toinduce me to continue with him a moment longer. Indeed I hadavoided pretty successfully all tête-à-têetes with him since thetime when his eccentric genius led to such eccentric conduct inour long conference in the last month. This time, however, when I had done my work, he protested Ishould stay and chat with him. I pleaded business--letters--hurry--all in vain: he would listen to nothing, and when I triedto move was so tumultuous in his opposition, that I was obligedto re-seat myself to appease him. A flow of compliments followed, every one of which I liked lessand less; but his spirits seemed uncontrollable, and, I suppose, ran away with all that ought to check them. I laughed andrallied as long as I possibly could, and tried to keep him inorder, by not seeming to suppose he wanted aid for that purpose:yet still, every time I tried to rise, he stopped me, and utteredat last Such expressions of homage--so like what Shakspeare saysof the school-boy, who makes "a sonnet on his mistress' eyebrow, "which is always his favourite theme--that I told him his realcompliment was all to my temper, in imagining it could brook suchmockery. This brought him once more on his knees, with such a volley ofasseverations of his sincerity, uttered with such fervour andeloquence, that I really felt uneasy, and used every possiblemeans to get away from him, rallying him however all the time, and disguising the consciousness I felt of my inability to quithim. More and more vehement, however, he grew, till I could beno longer passive, but forcibly rising, protested I would notstay another minute. But you may easily imagine my astonishmentand provocation, when, hastily rising himself, he violentlyseized hold of me, and compelled me to return to my chair, with aforce and a freedom that gave me as much surprise as offence. All now became serious. Raillery, good-humour, and evenpretended ease and unconcern, were at an end. The positivedispleasure I felt I made positively known; and the voicemanner, and looks with which I insisted upon an immediate'release were so changed from what he had ever heard or observedin me before, that I saw him quite thunderstruck with thealteration; and all his own violence subsiding, he begged mypardon with the mildest humility. He had made me too angry to grant it, and I only desired Page 30 him to let me instantly go to my room. He ceased all personalopposition, but going to the door, planted himself before it, andsaid, "Not in wrath! I cannot let you go away in wrath!" "You must, sir, " cried I, "for I am in wrath!" He began a thousand apologies, and as many promises of the mostsubmissive behaviour in future; but I stopped them all, with aperemptory declaration that every minute he detained me made mebut the more seriously angry. His vehemence now was all changedinto strong alarm, and he opened the door, profoundly bowing, butnot speaking, as I passed him. I am sure I need not dwell upon the uncomfortable sensations Ifelt, in a check so rude and violent to the gaiety andentertainment of an acquaintance which had promised me my bestamusement during our winter campaigns. I was now to begin uponquite a new system, and instead of encouraging, as hitherto I haddone, everything that could lead to vivacity and spirit, I wasfain to determine upon the most distant and even forbiddingdemeanour with the only life of our parties, that he might notagain forget himself. This disagreeable conduct I put into immediate practice. Istayed in my own room till I heard every one assembled in thenext : I was then obliged to prepare for joining them, but beforeI opened the door a gentle rap at it made me call out "Who'sthere?" and Mr. Turbulent looked in. I hastily said I was coming instantly, but he advanced softlyinto the room, entreating forgiveness at every step. I made noother answer than desiring he would go, and saying I shouldfollow. He went back to the door, and, dropping on one knee, said, "Miss Burney! surely you cannot be seriously angry?-'tis soimpossible you should think I meant to offend you!" I said nothing, and did not look near him, but opened the door, from which he retreated to make way for me, rising a littlemortified, and exclaiming, "Can you then have such realill-nature? How little I suspected it in you!" "'Tis you, " cried I, as I passed on, "that are ill-natured!" I meant for forcing me into anger; but I left him to make themeaning out, and walked into the next room. He did notimmediately follow, and he then appeared so much disconcertedthat I saw Miss Planta incessantly eyeing him, to find out whatwas the matter. I assumed an unconcern I did not Page 31 feel for I was really both provoked and sorry, foreseeing what abreach this folly must make in the comfort of my Windsorexpeditions, He sat down a little aloof, and entered into no conversation all the evening;but just as tea was over, the hunt of the next being mentioned he suddenly, asked Miss Planta to request leave for him of thequeen to ride out with the party. "I shall not see the queen, " cried she; "you had much better askMiss Burney. " This was very awkward. I was in no humour to act for him at thistime, nor could he muster courage to desire it; but upon MissPlanta's looking at each of us with some surprise, and repeatingher amendment to his proposal, he faintly said, "Would MissBurney be so good as to take that trouble?" An opportunity offering favourably, I spoke at night to thequeen, and she gave leave for his attending the chase. Iintended to send this permission to Miss Planta, but I had scarcereturned to my own room from her majesty, before a rap at my doorwas followed by his appearance. He stood quite aloof, looking grave and contrite. I Immediately called out "I havespoken, sir, to the queen, and you have her leave to go. " He bowed very profoundly, and thanked me, and was retreating, butcame back again, and advancing, assumed an air of less humility, and exclaimed, "Allons donc, Mademoiselle, j'espère que vousn'êtes plus si méchante qu'hier au soir!" I said nothing; he came nearer, and, bowing upon his own hand, held it out for mine, with a look of most respectfulSupplication. I had no intention of cutting the matter so short, yet from shame to sustain resentment, I was compelled to hold outa finger: he took it with a look of great gratitude, and veryreverently touching the tip of my glove with his lip, instantlylet it go, and very solemnly said, "Soyez sûr que je n'aijamais eu la moindre idée de vous offenser. " and then he thankedme again for his licence, and went his way. A SURPRISE AT THE PLAY. I had the pleasure of two or three visits from Mr. Bryant, whoseloyal regard for the king and queen makes him eagerly acceptevery invitation, from the hope of seeing them in my room; andone of the days they both came in to speak to him, and wereaccompanied by the two eldest princesses, who stood Page 32 chatting with me by the door the whole time, and saying comicalthings upon royal personages in tragedies, particularly PrincessAugusta, who has a great deal of sport in her disposition. Shevery gravely asserted she thought some of those princes on thestage looked really quite as well as some she knew off it. Once about this time I went to a play myself, which surely I maylive long enough and never forget. It was "Seduction, " a veryclever piece, but containing a dreadful picture of vice anddissipation in high life, written by Mr. Miles Andrews, with anepilogue--O, such an epilogue! I was listening to it withuncommon attention, from a compliment paid in it to Mrs. Montagu, among other female writers; but imagine what became of myattention when I suddenly was struck with these lines, orsomething like them:-- Let sweet Cecilia gain your just applause, Whose every passionyields to Reason's laws. " To hear, wholly unprepared and unsuspicious, such lines in atheatre--seated in a royal box--and with the whole royal familyand their suite immediately opposite me--was it not a singularcircumstance? To describe my embarrassment would be impossible. My whole head was leaning forward, with my opera glass in myhand, examining Miss Farren, who spoke the epilogue. Instantly Ishrank back, so astonished and so ashamed of my public situation, that I was almost ready to take to my heels and run, for itseemed as if I were there purposely in that conspicuous place-- "To list attentive to my own applause. " The king immediately raised his opera-glass to look at me, laughing heartily--the queen's presently took the samedirection--all the princesses looked up, and all the attendants, and all the maids of honour! I protest I was never more at a loss what to do with myself:nobody was in the front row with me but Miss Goldsworthy, whoinstantly seeing how I was disconcerted, prudently andgood-naturedly forbore taking any notice of me. I sat as farback as I could, and kept my fan against the exposed profile forthe rest of the night, never once leaning forward, nor using myglass. None of the royal family spoke to me on this matter till a fewdays after; but I heard from Mrs. Delany they had all declared Page 33 themselves sorry for the confusion it had caused me. And sometime after the queen could not forbear saying, "I hope, MissBurney, YOU minded the epilogue the other night?" And the king, very comically, said, "I took a peep at you!--Icould not help that. I wanted to see how you looked when yourfather first discovered your writing--and now I think I know!" THE KING's BIRTHDAY. St. James's Palace, June 4-Take a little of the humours of thisday, with respect to myself, as they have arisen. I quitted mydowny pillow at half-past six o'clock, for bad habits in sicknesshave lost me half an hour of every morning; and then, accordingto an etiquette I discovered but on Friday night, I was quite newdressed: for I find that, on the king's birthday, and on thequeen's, both real and nominal, two new attires, one half, theother full dressed, are expected from all attendants that comeinto the royal presence. This first labour was happily achieved in such good time, that Iwas just seated to my breakfast--a delicate bit of rollhalf-eaten, and a promising dish of tea well stirred--when Ireceived my summons to attend the queen. She was only with her wardrobe-woman, and accepted mostgraciously a little murmuring congratulation upon the- day, whichI ventured to whisper while she looked another way. Fortunatelyfor me, she is always quick in conceiving what is meant, andnever wastes time in demanding what is said. She told me she hadbespoke Miss Planta to attend at the grand toilette at St. James's, as she saw my strength still diminished by my lateillness. Indeed it still is, though in all other respects I amperfectly well. The queen wore a very beautiful dress, of a new manufacture, ofworked muslin, thin, fine, and clear, as the chambery gauze. Iattended her from the blue closet, in which she dresses, throughthe rooms that lead to the breakfast apartment. In One of thesewhile she stopped for her hair-dresser to finish her head-dress, the king joined her. She spoke to him in German, and he kissedher hand. The three elder princesses came in soon after: they all went up, with congratulatory smiles and curtsies, to their royal father, who kissed them very affectionately; they then, as usual everyMorning, kissed the queen's hand. The door was thrown open Page 34 to the breakfast-room, which is a noble apartment, fitted up withsome of Vandyke's best works; and the instant the king, who ledthe way, entered, I was surprised by a sudden sound of music, andfound that a band of musicians were stationed there to welcomehim. The princesses followed, but Princess Elizabeth turnedround to me to say she could hardly bear the sound: it was thefirst morning of her coming down to breakfast for many months, asshe had had that repast in her own room ever since her dangerousillness. It overcame her, she said, more than the dressing, morethan the early rising, more than the whole of the hurry andfatigue of all the rest of a public birthday. She loves the kingmost tenderly; and there is a something in receiving any personwho is loved, by sudden music, that I can easily conceive to bevery trying to the nerves. Princess Augusta came back to cheer and counsel her; she beggedher to look out at the window, to divert her thoughts, and saidshe would place her where the sound might be less affecting toher. A lively "How d'ye do, Miss Burney? I hope you are quite wellnow?" from the sweet Princess Mary, who was entering theante-room, made me turn from her two charming sisters; she passedon to the breakfast, soon followed by Princess Sophia, and then atrain of their governesses, Miss Goldsworthy, MademoiselleMontmoulin, and Miss Gomme, all in full dress, with fans. Wereciprocated little civilities, and I had then the pleasure tosee little Princess Amelia, with Mrs. Cheveley, who brought upthe rear. Never, in tale or fable, were there six sisterprincesses more lovely. As I had been extremely distressed upon the queen's birthday, inJanuary, where to go or how to act, and could obtain noinformation from my coadjutrix, I now resolved to ask fordirections from the queen herself; and she readily gave them, ina manner to make this day far more comfortable to me than thelast. She bade me dress as fast as I could, and go to St. James', by eleven o'clock; but first come into the room to her. Then followed my grand toilette. The hair-dresser was waitingfor me, and he went to work first, and I second, with all ourmight and main. When my adorning tasks were accomplished, I wentto the blue closet. No one was there, I then hesitated whetherto go back or seek the queen. I have a dislike insuperable toentering a royal presence, except by an Page 35 immediate Summons: however, the directions I had had prevailed, and I- went into the adjoining apartment. There stood Madame dela Fite! she was talking in a low voice with M. De Luc. Theytold me the queen was in the next room, and on I went. She was seated at a glass, and the hair-dresser was putting onher jewels, while a clergyman in his canonicals was standing near and talking to her. I imagined him some bishop unknown tome, and stopped; the queen looked round, and called out "it'sMiss Burney!--come in, Miss Burney. " in I came, curtseyingrespectfully to a bow from the canonicals, but I found not outtill he answered something said by the queen, that it was noother than Mr. Turbulent. Madame de la Fite then presented herself at the door (which wasopen for air) of the ante-room. The queen bowed to her, and saidshe would see her presently: she retired, and her majesty, in asignificant low voice, said to me, "Do go to her, and keep herthere a little!" I obeyed, and being now in no fright nor hurry, entered into conversation with her sociably and comfortably. I then went to St. James's. The queen was most brilliant inattire; and when she was arrayed, Mr. West(233) was allowed toenter the dressing-room, in order to give his opinion of thedisposition -of her jewels, which indeed were arranged with greattaste and effect. The three princesses, Princess Royal, Augusta, and Elizabeth, were all very splendidly decorated, and looked beautiful. Theyare indeed uncommonly handsome, each in their different Way-theprincess royal for figure, the Princess Augusta for countenance, and the Princess Elizabeth for face. THE EQUERRIES: COLONEL MANNERS. Friday, June 8-This day we came to Windsor for the Summer, duringwhich we only go to town for a Drawing-room once a fortnight, andto Kew in the way. Mrs. Schwellenberg remained in town, not wellenough to move. The house now was quite full, the king having ordered a party toit for the Whitsun holidays. This party was Colonel page 36 Manners, the equerry in waiting; Colonel Ramsden, a good-humouredand well-bred old officer of the king's household; ColonelsWellbred and Goldsworthy, and General Budé. Colonel Ramsden is gentle and pleasing, but very silent; GeneralBudé is always cheerful, but rises not above a second; ColonelHotham has a shyness that looks haughty, and therefore distances;Colonel Goldsworthy reserves his sport and humour for particulardays and particular favourites; and Colonel Wellbred draws backinto himself unless the conversation promises either instructionor quiet pleasure; nor would any one of these, during the wholetime, speak at all, but to a next neighbour, nor even then, except when that neighbour suited his fancy. You must not, however, imagine we had no public speakers; M. DelCampo harangued aloud to whoever was willing to listen, andColonel Manners did the same, without even waiting for thatproviso. Colonel Manners, however, I must introduce to you by afew specimens: he is so often, in common with all the equerries, to appear on the scene, that I wish you to make a particularacquaintance with him. One evening, when we were all, as usual, assembled, he began adiscourse upon the conclusion of his waiting, which finishes withthe end of June:--"Now I don't think, " cried he, "that it's wellmanaged: here we're all in waiting for three months at a time, and then for nine months there's nothing!" "Cry your mercy!" cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "if three months--three whole months--are not enough for you, pray take a few morefrom mine to make up your market!" "No, no, I don't mean that;--but why can't we have our waitingsmonth by month?--would not that be better?" "I think not!--we should then have no time unbroken. " "Well, but would not that be better than what it is now? Why, we're here so long, that when one goes away nobody knows one!--one has quite to make a new acquaintance! Why, when I first comeout of waiting, I never know where to find anybody!" The Ascot races were held at this time; the royal family were tobe at them one or two of the days. Colonel Manners earnestlypressed Miss Port to be there. Colonel Goldsworthy said it wasquite immaterial to him who was there, for when he was attendingroyalty he never presumed to think of any private comfort. "Well, I don't see that!" cried Colonel Manners, --"for if Page 37 I was you, and not in my turn for waiting, I should go about justas I liked;--but now, as for me, as it happens to be my own turn, Why I think it right to be civil to the king. " We all looked round;--but Colonel Goldsworthy broke forth aloud--"Civil, quotha?" cried he; "Ha! ha! civil, forsooth!--You'remighty condescending!--the first equerry I ever heard talk of hiscivility to the king!--'Duty, ' and 'respect, ' and 'humblereverence, '--those are words we are used to, --but here come youwith Your civility!----Commend me to such affability!" you see he is not spared; but Colonel Goldsworthy is the wagprofessed of their community, and privileged to say what hepleases. The other, with the most perfect good-humour, acceptedthe joke, without dreaming of taking offence at the sarcasm. Another evening the king sent for Colonel Ramsden to play atbackgammon. "Happy, happy man!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, exultingly;but scarce had he uttered the words ere he was summoned to followhimself. "What! already!" cried he, --"without even my tea! Whythis is worse and worse!--no peace in Israel!--only one half hourallowed for comfort, and now that's swallowed! Well, I mustgo;--make my complaints aside, and my bows and smiles in fullface!" Off he went, but presently, in a great rage, came back, and, while he drank a hot dish of tea which I instantly presented him, kept railing at his stars for ever bringing him under a royalroof. "If it had not been for a puppy, " cried he, "I had nevergot off even to scald my throat in this manner But they've justgot a dear little new ugly dog: so one puppy gave Way to t'other, and I just left them to kiss and hug it, while I stole off todrink this tea! But this is too much!---no peace for a moment!--no peace in Israel!" When this was passed, Colonel Wellbred renewed some of theconversation of the preceding day with me; and, just as he namedDr. Herschel Colonel Manners broke forth with his dissentingopinions. "I don't give up to Dr. Herschel at all, " cried he;"he is all system; and so they are all: and if they can but makeout their systems, they don't care a pin for anything else. Asto Herschel, I liked him well enough till he came to hisvolcanoes in the moon, and then I gave him up, I saw he was justlike the rest. How should he know anything Of the matter? There's no such thing as pretending to measure, at such adistance as that?" Page 38 Colonel Wellbred, to whom I looked for an answer, instead ofmaking any, waited in quiet silence till he had exhausted all hehad to say upon the subject, and then, turning to me, made someinquiry about the Terrace, and went on to other general matters. But, some time after, when all were engaged, and this topicseemed quite passed, he calmly began, in general terms, to lamentthat the wisest and best of people were always so little honouredor understood in their own time, and added that he had no doubtbut Sir Isaac Newton had been as much scoffed and laughed atformerly as Herschel was now; but concluded, in return, Herschel, hereafter, would be as highly reverenced as Sir Isaacwas at present. . . . We had then some discourse upon dress and fashions. Virtuososbeing next named, Colonel Manners inveighed against them quiteviolently, protesting they all wanted common honour and honesty;and to complete the happy subject, he instanced, in particular, Sir William Hamilton, who, he declared, had absolutely robbedboth the king and state of Naples! After this, somebody related that, upon the heat in the air beingmentioned to Dr. Heberden, he had answered that he supposed itproceeded from the last eruption in the volcano in the moon:"Ay, " cried Colonel Manners, "I suppose he knows as much of thematter as the rest of them: if you put a candle at the end of atelescope, and let him look at it, he'll say, what an eruptionthere is in the moon! I mean if Dr, Herschel would do it to him;I don't say he would think so from such a person as me. " "But Mr. Bryant himself has seen this volcano from thetelescope. " "Why, I don't mind Mr. Bryant any more than Dr. Heberden: he'sjust as credulous as t'other. " I wanted to ask by what criterion he settled these points in sosuperior a manner:--but I thought it best to imitate the silenceof Colonel Wellbred, who constantly called a new subject, uponevery pause, to avoid all argument and discussion while thegood-humoured Colonel Manners was just as ready to start forwardin the new subject, as he had been in that which had been setaside. One other evening I invited Madame de la Fite: but it did notprove the same thing; they have all a really most undue dislikeof her, and shirk her conversation and fly to one another, todiscourse on hunting and horses. Page 39 THE DUCHESS DE POLIGNAC AT WINDSOR. The following Sunday, June 17, I was tempted to go on theTerrace, in order to se the celebrated Madame de Polignac, (234)and her daughter, Madame de Guiche. They were to be presented, with the Duke de Polignac, to their majesties, upon the Terrace. Their rank entitled them to this distinction; and the Duchess ofAncaster, to whom they had been extremely courteous abroad, cameto Windsor to introduce them. They were accompanied to theTerrace by Mrs. Harcourt and the general 'with whom they werealso well acquainted. They went to the place of rendezvous at six o'clock; the royalparty followed about seven, and was very brilliant upon theoccasion. The king and queen led the way, and the Prince ofWales, who came purposely to honour the interview, appeared at italso, in the king's Windsor uniform. Lady Weymouth was inwaiting upon the queen. The Duchess of Ancaster, Lady CharlotteBertie, and Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave, with some other ladies, Ithink, attended: but the two eldest princesses, to the very greatdetriment of the scenery, were ill, and remained at home. Princess Elizabeth and Mary were alone in the queen's suite. I went with Miss Port and Mrs. And Miss Heberden. The crowd wasso great, it was difficult to move. Their majesties and theirtrain occupied a large space, and their attendants Page 40 had no easy task in keeping them from being incommoded by thepressing of the people. They stopped to converse with thesenoble travellers for more than an hour. Madame la Duchesse dePolignac is a very well-looking woman, and Madame de Guiche isvery pretty. There were other ladies and gentlemen in theirparty. But I was much amused by their dress, which they meantshould be entirely `a l'Angloise--for which purpose they had puton plain undress gowns, with close ordinary black silk bonnets! Iam sure they must have been quite confused when they saw thequeen and princesses, with their ladies, who were all dressedwith uncommon care, and very splendidly. But I was glad, at least, they should all witness, and report, the reconciliation of the king and the Prince of Wales, whofrequently spoke together, and were both in good spirits. COLONEL MANNERS' MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Miss Port and myself had, afterwards, an extremely risibleevening with Colonels Goldsworthy, Wellbred, and Manners the restwere summoned away to the king, or retired to their ownapartments. Colonel Wellbred began the sport, undesignedly, bytelling me something new relative to Dr. Herschel's volcanoes. This was enough for Colonel Manners, who declared aloud his uttercontempt for such pretended discoveries. He was deaf to all thatcould be said in answer, and protested he wondered how any man ofcommon sense could ever listen to such a pack of stuff. Mr. De Luc's opinion upon the subject being then mentioned--heexclaimed, very disdainfully, "O, as to Mr. De Luc, he's anotherman for a system himself, and I'd no more trust him than anybody:if you was only to make a little bonfire, and put it upon a hilla little way off, you might make him take it for a volcanodirectly!--And Herschel's not a bit better. Those sort ofphilosophers are the easiest taken in in the world. " Our next topic was still more ludicrous. Colonel Manners askedme if I had not heard something, very harmonious at church in themorning? I answered I was too far off, if he meant from himself. "Yes, " said he; "I was singing with Colonel Wellbred; and he saidhe was my second. --How did I do that song?" "Song?--Mercy!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, "a song atchurch!--why it was the 104th Psalm!" Page 41 "But how did I do it, Wellbred; for I never tried at it before?" "why--pretty well, " answered Colonel Wellbred, very composedly;"Only now and then you run me a little into 'God save the king. '" This dryness discomposed every muscle but of Colonel Manners, whoreplied, with great simplicity, "Why, that's because that's thetune I know best!" "At least, " cried I, "'twas a happy mistake to make so near theirmajesties. " "But: pray, now, Colonel Wellbred, tell me sincerely)--could youreally make out what I was singing?" "O yes, " answered Colonel Wellbred; "with the words. " "Well, but pray, now, what do you call my voice?" "Why--a--a--a counter-tenor. " "Well, and is that a good voice?" There was no resisting, -even the quiet Colonel Wellbred could notresist laughing out here. But Colonel Manners, quite at hisease, continued his self-discussion. "I do think, now, if I was to have a person to play over a thingto me again and again, and then let me sing it, and stop me everytime I was wrong, I do think I should be able to sing 'God savethe king' as well as some ladies do, that have always people toshow them. " "You have a good chance then here, " cried I, "of singing somepieces of Handel, for I am sure you hear them again and again!" "Yes, but that is not the thing for though I hear them do it' sooften over, they don't stop for me to sing it after them, andthen to set me right. Now I'll try if you'll know what this is. " He then began humming aloud, "My soul praise, " etc. , so veryhorribly, that I really found all decorum at an end, and laughed, with Miss Port, `a qui mieux mieux. Too much engaged to mindthis, he very innocently, when he had done, applied to us allround for our opinions. Miss Port begged him to sing another, and asked for that he hadspouted the other day, "Care, thou bane of love and joy. " He instantly complied; and went on, in such shocking, discordantand unmeaning sounds, that nothing in a farce could be morerisible: in defiance however of all interruptions, he Continuedtill he had finished one stanza; when Colonel Goldsworthy loudlycalled out, --"There, --there's enough!--have mercy!" Page 42 "Well, then, now I'll try something else. " "O, no!" cried Colonel Goldsworthy, hastily, "thank you, thankyou for this, -but I won't trouble you for more--I'll not bearanother word. " Colonel Wellbred then, with an affected seriousness, begged toknow, since he took to singing, what he should do for a shake, which was absolutely indispensable. "A shake?" he repeated, "what do you mean?" "Why--a shake with the voice, such as singers make. " "Why, how must I do it?" "O, really, I cannot tell you. " "Why, then, I'll try myself--is it so?" And he began such a harsh hoarse noise, that Colonel Goldsworthyexclaimed, between every other sound, --"No, no, --no more!" WhileColonel Wellbred professed teaching him, and gave such ridiculouslessons and directions, -now to stop short, now to swell, -now tosink the voice, etc. , etc. , that, between the master and thescholar, we were almost demolished. MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S "LUMP OF LEATHER. " Tuesday, June 19. -We were scarcely all arranged at tea whenColonel Manners eagerly said, "Pray, Mrs. Schwellenberg, have youlost anything?" "Me?--no, not I "No?--what, nothing?" "Not I!" "Well, then, that's very odd! for I found something that had yourname writ upon it. " "My name? and where did you find that?" "Why--it was something I found in my bed. " "In your bed?--O, very well! that is reelly comeecal?" "And pray what was it?" cried Miss Port. "Why--a great large, clumsy lump of leather. " "Of leadder, sir?--of leadder? What was that for me?" "Why, ma'am, it was so big and so heavy, it was as much as Icould do to lift it!" "Well, that was nothing from me! when it was so heavy, you mightlet it alone!" "But, ma'am, Colonel Wellbred said it was somewhat of yours. " Page 43 "Of mine?--O, ver well! Colonel Wellbred might not say suchthing! I know nothing, Sir, from your leadder, nor from yourbed, sir, --not I!" "Well, ma'am, then your maid does. Colonel Wellbred says hesupposes it was she. " "Upon my vord! Colonel Wellbred might not say such things from mymaid! I won't not have it so!" "O yes, ma'am; Colonel Wellbred says she often does SO. He saysshe's a very gay lady. " She was quite too much amazed to speak: one of her maids, Mrs. Arline, is a poor humble thing, that would not venture to jest, Ibelieve, with the kitchen maid, and the other has never beforebeen at Windsor. "But what was it?" cried Miss Port. "Why, I tell you--a great, large lump of leather, with 'MadameSchwellenberg' wrote upon it. However, I've ordered it to besold. " "To be sold? How will you have it sold, Sir? You might tell methat, when you please. " "Why, by auction, ma'am. " "By auction, Sir? What, when it had my name upon it? Upon myvord!--how come you to do dat, sir? Will you tell me, once?" "Why, I did it for the benefit of my man, ma'am, that he mighthave the money. " "But for what is your man to have it, when it is mine?" "Because, ma'am, it frightened him so. " "O, ver well! Do you rob, sir? Do you take what is not your own, but others', sir, because your man is frightened?" "O yes, ma'am! We military men take all we can get!" "What! in the king's house, Sir!" "Why then, ma'am, what business had it in my bed? My room's mycastle: nobody has a right there. My bed must be my treasury;and here they put me a thing into it big enough to be a beditself. "---- "O! vell! (much alarmed) it might be my bed-case, then!" (Whenever Mrs. Schwellenberg travels, she carries her bed in alarge black leather case, behind her servants' carriage. ) " Very likely, ma'am. " "Then, sir, " very angrily, "how Come you by it?" "Why, I'll tell you, ma'am. I was just going to bed; so MYservant took one candle, and I had the other. I had just had my hair done, and my curls were just rolled up, and he Page 44 was going away; but I turned about, by accident, and I saw agreat lump in my bed; so I thought it was my clothes. 'What do you put them there for?' says I. 'Sir, ' says he, 'itlooks as if there was a drunken man in the bed. ' 'A drunkenman?' says I; 'Take the poker, then, and knock him on the head!'" "Knock him on the head?" interrupted Mrs. Schwellenberg, "What!when it might be some innocent person? Fie! Colonel Manners. Ithought you had been too good-natured for such thing--to pokerthe people in the king's house!" "Then what business have they to get into my bed, ma'am? So thenmy man looked nearer, and he said, 'Sir, why, here's yournight-cap and here's the pillow!--and here's a great, large lumpof leather!' 'Shovel it all out!' says I. 'Sir, ' says he, 'It'sMadame Schwellenberg's! here's her name on it. ' 'Well, then, 'says I, 'sell it, to-morrow, to the saddler. '" "What! when you knew it was mine, sir? Upon my vord, you been vergood!" (bowing very low). "Well, ma'am, it's all Colonel Wellbred, I dare say; so, supposeyou and I were to take the law of him?" "Not I, sir!" (Scornfully). "Well, but let's write him a letter, then, and frighten him:let's tell him it's sold, and he must make it good. You and I'lldo it together. " "No, sir; you might do it yourself. I am not so familiar towrite to gentlemens. " "Why then, you shall only sign it, and I'll frank it. " Here the entrance of some new person stopped the discussion. Happy in his success, he began, the next day, a new device: hemade an attack in politics, and said, he did not doubt but Mr. Hastings would come to be hanged; though, he assured us, afterwards, he was firmly his friend, and believed no suchthing. (236) Even with this not satisfied, he next told her that he had justheard Mr. Burke was in Windsor. Mr. Burke is the name Page 45 in the world most obnoxious, both for his Reform bill, (237) whichdeeply affected all the household, and for his prosecution of Mr. Hastings; she therefore declaimed against him very warmly. "Should you like to know him, ma'am?" cried he. "Me?--No; not I. " "Because, I dare say, ma'am, I have interest enough with him toprocure you his acquaintance. Shall I bring him to the Lodge tosee you?" "When you please, sir, you might keep him to yourself!" Well, then, he shall come and dine with me, 'and after it drinktea with you. " "No, no, not I! You might have him all to yourself. " "but if he comes, you must make his tea. " "There is no such 'must, ' sir! I do it for my pleasure--onlywhen I please, sir!" At night, when we were separating, he whispered Miss Port that hehad something else in store for the next meeting, when heintended to introduce magnetising. MRS. SCHWELLENBERG's FROGS. July 2. -What a stare was drawn from our new equerry(238) by MajorPrice's gravely asking Mrs. Schwellenberg, after the health ofher frogs? She answered they were very well, and the major said, " You must know, Colonel Gwynn, Mrs. Schwellenberg keeps a pairof frogs, " "Of frogs?--pray what do they feed upon?" "Flies, sir, " she answered. "And pray, ma'am, what food have they in winter?" "Nothing other. " The stare was now still wider. "But I can make them croak when I will, " she added, "when I onlygo so to my snuff-box, knock, knock, knock, they croak all what Iplease. " Page 46 "Very pretty, indeed!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy. "I thought to have some spawn, " she continued; "but then MariaCarlton, what you call Lady Doncaster, came and frightened them;I was never so angry!" "I am sorry for that, " cried the major, very seriously, "for elseI should have begged a pair. " "So you meant, ma'am, to have had a breed of them, " cried ColonelGoldsworthy; "a breed of young frogs? Vastly clever, indeed!; Then followed a formal enumeration of their virtues and endearinglittle qualities, which made all laugh except the new equerry, who sat in perfect amaze. Then, suddenly, she stopped short, and called out, "There! now Ihave told you all this, you might tell something to me. I havetalked enoff; now you might amuse me. " July 19. -In the afternoon, while I was working in Mrs. Schwellenberg's room, Mr. Turbulent entered, to summon MissPlanta to the princesses; and, in the little while of executingthat simple commission, he made such use of his very ungovernableand extraordinary eyes, that the moment he was gone, Mrs. Schwellenberg demanded "for what he looked so at me?" I desired to know what she meant. "Why, like when he was so cordial with you? Been you acquainted?" "O, yes!" cried I, "I spent three hours twice a-week upon theroad with him and Miss Planta, all the winter; and three or fourdinners and afternoons besides. " "O that's nothing! that's no acquaintance at all. I have hadpeople to me, to travel and to dine, fourteen and fifteen years, and yet they been never so cordial!" This was too unanswerable for reply; but it determined me to tryat some decided measure for restraining or changing looks andbehaviour that excited such comments. And I thought my safestway would be fairly and frankly to tell him this very inquiry. It might put him upon his guard from such foolishness, withoutany more serious effort. July 20. -This evening Mrs. Schwellenberg was not well, and sentto desire I would receive the gentlemen to tea, and make herapologies. I immediately summoned my lively, and lovely youngcompanion, Miss Port, who hastens at every call withgood-humoured delight. Page 47 We had really a pleasant evening, though simply from the absenceof spleen and jealousy, which seemed to renew and invigorate thespirits of all present: namely, General Budé, Signor del Campo, and Colonel Gwynn. They all stayed very late but when they madetheir exit, I dismissed my gay assistant and thought it incumbenton me to show myself upstairs; a reception was awaiting me!--sogrim! But, what O heaven! how depressing, how cruel, to befastened thus on an associate so exigeante, so tyrannical, and soill-disposed! I feared to blame the equerries for having detained me, as theywere already so much out of favour. I only, therefore, mentionedM. Del Campo, who, as a foreign minister, might be allowed somuch civility as not to be left to himself: for I was openlyreproached- that I had not quitted them to hasten to her! Nothing, however, availed; and after vainly trying to appeaseher, I was obliged to go to my own room, to be in attendance formy royal summons. July 21. -I resolved to be very meek and patient, as I do, now andthen, when I am good, and to bear this hard trial of causelessoffence without resentment; and, therefore, I went this afternoonas soon as I had dined, and sat and worked, and forcedconversation, and did my best, but with very indifferent success;when, most perversely, who should be again announced -but Mr. Turbulent. As I believe the visit was not, just after those"cordial" looks, supposed to be solely for the lady of theapartment, his reception was no better than mine had been thepreceding days! He did not, however, regard it, but began atalk, in which he made it his business to involve me, byperpetual reference to my opinion. This did not much conciliatematters; and his rebuffs, from time to time, were so littleceremonious, that nothing but the most confirmed contempt couldhave kept off an angry resentment. I could sometimes scarcelyhelp laughing at his utterly careless returns to an imperioushaughtiness, vainly meant to abash and distance him. I took theearliest moment in my power to quit the room and the reproachwith which he looked at my exit, for leaving him to such atête-à-tête, was quite risible. He knew he could not, indecency, run away immediately, to and he seemed ready to commitsome desperate act for having drawn himself into such adifficulty. I am always rejoiced when his flights and folliesbring their own punishment. Page 48 MR. TURBULENT'S ANTICS. July 25-Mr. Turbulent amused himself this morning with giving meyet another panic. He was ordered to attend the queen during herhair-dressing, as was Mr. De Luc. I remained in the room thequeen conversed with us all three, as occasions arose, with theutmost complacency; but this person, instead of fixing there hissole attention, contrived, by standing behind her chair, andfacing me, to address a language of signs to me the whole time, casting up his eyes, clasping ], is hands, and placing himself invarious fine attitudes, and all with a humour so burlesque, thatit was impossible to take it either ill or seriously. Indeed, when I am on the very point of the most alarmed displeasure withhim, he always falls upon some such ridiculous devices ofaffected homage, that I grow ashamed of my anger, and hurry itover, lest he should perceive it, and attribute it to amisunderstanding he might think ridiculous in his turn. How much should I have been discountenanced had her majestyturned about and perceived him! (230) Colonel Greville, called in the "Diary" "Colonel Wellbred, "one of the king's equerries, whom M. De Guiffardiere ("Mr. Turbulent") was particularly anxious to introduce to MissBurney. -ED. (231) I "The Paston Letters" were first published, from theoriginal manuscripts, in 1787. They were chiefly written by orto members of the Paston family in Norfolk during the reigns ofHenry VI. , Edward IV. , Richard III. , and Henry VII. The letterabove alluded to is No. 91 in the collection. It is a letter ofgood Counsel to his young son, written in a very tender andreligious strain, by the Duke of Suffolk, on the 30th of April, 1450, the day on which he quitted England to undergo his fiveyears' banishment. The duke had been impeached of high treason, and condemned to this term of banishment, through the king'sinterposition, to save him from a worse fate. But his fate wasnot to be eluded. He set sail on the 30th of April, was taken onthe sea by his enemies, and beheaded on the 2nd of Mayfollowing. -ED. (232) Miss Burney had obtained the tacit consent of the queenthat M. De Guiffardiere should travel occasionally with theequerries, instead of taking his usual place in the coachassigned to the keepers of the robes. Her real motive in makingthe application had been a desire to see less of this boisterousgentleman, but she had put it upon his attachment to ColonelGreville-ED. (233) Benjamin -west, R. A. , who succeeded Reynolds as Presidentof the Royal Academy, on the death of the latter in 1792. Thismediocre painter was a prodigious favourite with George III. , forwhom many of his works were executed. -ED. (234) The Duchess Jules de Polignac, the celebrated favourite ofMarie Antoinette. She and her husband, who had been raised bythe queen from a condition of positive poverty, were hated inFrance, both as Court favourites, and on account of the wealthwhich, it was believed, they had taken advantage of theirposition to amass. "Mille 6cus, " cried Mirabeau, "A la familled'Assas pour avoir sauv6 l'etat; un million a la famille Polignacpour l'avoir perdu!" The ostensible object of the duches, 's visit to England was todrink the Bath Waters, but there are good grounds for believingthat her real purpose was to make an arrangement with M. De laMotte for the suppression of some scurrilous Memoirs which it wasrumoured his wife had written, and in which, among other things, Marie Antoinette was accused of being the principal culprit inthe notorious Diamond Necldace fraud. M. De la Motte states inhis autobiography that he met the Duchess Jules and herSister-in-law, the Countess Diane, at the Duchess of Devonshire's(the beautiful Georgiana), at the request of the latter, whencertain overtures were made to him, and trustworthy authoritiesassert that a large sum of money was afterwards paid to the De laMottes, to suppress the Memoirs which were however eventuallypublished. When the French Revolution broke out the Polignacswere among the first to emigrate. The duchess died at Vienna inDecember, 1793, a few months after Marie Antoinette had perishedon the scaffold. -ED. (235) Mrs. Schwellenberg had returned to Windsor the daybefore. -ED. (236) The storm had been gathering round Hastings ever since hisreturn to England in June, 1785, within a week of which Burke hadgiven notice in the House of Commons of a motion affecting theconduct of the late Governor-General in India. His impeachmentwas voted in May, 1787, and preparations for his trial were nowgoing actively forward. We shall find hereafter, in the Diary, some sketches, from Fanny's point of view, of scenes in thisfamous trial, which commenced in February, 1788. -ED. (237) This was an old grievance. In 1780 Burke had introduced ahill "for the better regulation of his majesty's civilestablishments, and of certain public offices; for the limitationof pensions, and the suppression of sundry useless, expensive andinconvenient places; and for applying the monies saved thereby tothe public service. " The bill was defeated at the time, but wasre-introduced with certain alterations, and finally passed bothhouses by a large majority in 1782. -ED. (238) Colonel Gwynn who had just arrived at Windsor to succeedColonel Manners in the office of equerry in waiting to the King. Colonel Gwynn was the husband of Mary Horneck, Goldsmith's"Jessamy Bride. "-ED. Page 49 SECTION 11. (1787-8. ) COURT DUTIES: SOME VARIATIONS IN THEIR ROUTINE. MEETING OF THE TWO PRINCES. To-day, after a seven years' absence, arrived the Duke of York. I saw him alight from his carriage, with an eagerness, avivacity, that assured me of the affectionate joy with which hereturned to his country and family. But the joy of his excellentfather!-O, that there is no describing It was the glee of thefirst youth--nay, of ai ardent and innocent infancy, --so pure itseemed, so warm, so open, so unmixed! Softer joy was thequeen's--mild, equal, and touching while all the princesses werein one universal rapture. To have the pleasure of seeing the royal family in this happyassemblage, I accompanied Miss Port on the Terrace. It wasindeed an affecting sight to view the general content; but thatof the king went to my very heart, so delighted he looked-soproud Of his son--so benevolently pleased that every one shouldwitness his satisfaction. The Terrace was very full; all Windsorand its neighbourhood poured in upon it, to see the prince whosewhole demeanour seemed promising to merit his flatteringreception--gay yet grateful--modest, yet unembarrassed. . . . . . Early the next morning arrived the Prince of Wales, who hadtravelled all night from Brighthelmstone. The day was a day Ofcomplete happiness to the whole of the royal family; the king wasin one transport of delight, unceasing, invariable; Page 50 and though the newly-arrived duke was its source and Support thekindness of his heart extended and expanded to his eldest' born, whom he seemed ready again to take to his paternal breast;indeed, the whole world seemed endeared to him by the happinesshe now felt in it. Sunday, Aug. 5. -General Grenville brought in the duke thisevening to the tea-room. I was very much pleased with hisbehaviour, which was modest, dignified, and easy. Might he butescape the contagion of surrounding examples, he seems promisingof all his fond father expects and merits. . . . Kew, Aug. 7-The next day the now happy family had the delight ofagain seeing the two princes in its circle. They dined here; and the Princess Augusta, who came to Mrs. Schwellenberg'sroom in the evening, on a message, said, "There never had been sohappy a dinner since the world was created, " The king, In theevening, again drove out the queen and princesses. The Prince ofWales, seeing Mr. Smelt in our room (which, at Kew, is in thefront of the house, as well as at Windsor), said he would come inand ask him how he did. Accordingly, in he came, and talked toMr. Smelt for about a quarter of an hour; his subjects almostwholly his horses and his rides. He gave some account of hisexpedition to town to meet his brother. He was just preparing, at Brighton, to give a supper entertainment to Madame LaPrincesse de Lamballe, --when he perceived his courier. "I daresay, " he cried, "my brother's come!" set off instantly to excusehimself to the princess, and arrived at Windsor by the time ofearly prayers, at eight o'clock the next morning. "To-day, again, " he said, "I resolved to be in town to meet mybrother; we determined to dine somewhere together, but had notsettled where; so hither we came. When I went last to Brighton, I rode one hundred and thirty miles, and then danced at theball, . I am going back directly; but I shall ride to Windsoragain for the birthday, and shall stay there till my brother's, and then back on Friday. We are going now over the way: mybrother wants to see the old mansion. " The Prince of Wales's house is exactly opposite to the Lodge The duke then came in, and bowed to every one present, veryattentively; and presently after, they went over the way, arm inarm; and thence returned to town. I had a long and painful discourse afterwards with Mr. Smelt, deeply interested in these young princes, upon the many dangersawaiting the newly-arrived, who seemed alike Page 51 unfitted and unsuspicious for encountering them. Mr. Smelt'sheart ached as if he had been their parent, and the regardspringing from his early and long care of them seemed all revivedin his hopes and fears of what might ensue from this reunion. I rejoiced at the public reconciliation with the Prince of Wales, which had taken place during my illness, and which gave thegreater reason for hope that there might not now be a division! BUNBURY, THE CARICATURIST. Windsor, Aug. 14. -General Budé came in, with two strangers, whomhe introduced to us by the names of Bunbury and Crawfurd. I wasvery curious to know if this was the Bunbury;(239) and Iconjectured it could be no other. When Colonel Gwynn joined us, he proposed anew the introduction; but nothing passed toascertain my surmise. The conversation was general Andgood-humoured, but without anything striking, or bespeakingcharacter or genius. Almost the whole consisted of inquirieswhat to do, whither to go, and how to proceed; which, thoughnatural and sensible for a new man, were undistinguished by anyhumour, or keenness of expression or manner. Mr. Crawfurd spoke not a word. He is a very handsome young man, just appointed equerry to the Duke of York. I whispered my inquiry to Colonel Gwynn as soon as I found anopportunity, and heard, "Yes, --'tis Harry Bunbury, sure enough!" So now we may all be caricatured at his leisure! He is madeanother of the equerries to the Duke. A man with such a turn, and with talents so inimitable in displaying it, was rather adangerous character to be brought within a Court! Aug. 15. -My sole conversation this evening was with Mr. Bunbury, who drew a chair next mine, and chatted incessantly, with great good humour, and an avidity to discuss the subjects hestarted, which were all concerning plays and Players. Presently the voice of the Duke of York was heard, calling aloudfor Colonel Goldsworthy. Off he ran. Mr. Bunbury laughed, butdeclared he would not take the hint: "What, " cried he, "if I lose the beginning?(240)--I think I know it pretty Page 52 well by heart'-'Why did I marry' '"--And then he began to spout, and act, and rattle away, with all his might, -till the same voicecalled out "Bunbury !--you'll be too late!"--And off he flew, leaving his tea untasted--so eager had he been in discourse. MRS. SIDDONS PROVES DISAPPOINTING ON NEAR ACQUAINTANCE. Wednesday, Aug. 15. -Mrs. Schwellenberg's illness occasioned myattending the queen alone; and when my official business wasended, she graciously detained me, to read to me a new papercalled "Olla Podrida, " which is now Publishing periodically. Nothing very bright--nothing very deficient. In the afternoon, while I was drinking coffee with Mrs. Schwellenberg, --or, rather, looking at it, since I rarely, swallow any, --her majesty came Into the room, and soon after alittle German discourse with Mrs. Schwellenberg told me Mrs. Siddons had been ordered to the Lodge, to read a play, anddesired I would receive her in my room I felt a little queer in the office ; I had only seen her twiceor thrice, in large assemblies, at Miss Monckton's, and at SirJoshua Reynolds's, and never had been introduced to her, norspoken with her. However, in this dead and tame life I now lead, such an interview was by no means undesirable. I had just got to the bottom of the stairs, when she entered thepassage gallery. I took her into the tea-room, and endeavouredto make amends for former distance and taciturnity, by an openand cheerful reception. I had heard from sundry people (in olddays) that she wished to make the acquaintance; but I thought itthen one of too conspicuous a sort for the quietness I had somuch difficulty to preserve in my ever increasing connections. Here all was changed; I received her by the queen's commands, andwas perfectly well inclined to reap some pleasure from themeeting. But, now that we came so near, I was much disappointed in myexpectations. I know not if my dear Fredy has met with her inprivate, but I fancy approximation is not highly in her favour. I found her the heroine of a tragedy, --sublime, elevated, andsolemn. In face and person truly noble and commanding; inmanners quiet and stiff; in voice deep and dragging; and inconversation, formal, sententious, calm, and Page 53 dry. I expected her to have been all that is interesting; the delicacy and sweetness with which she seizes every opportunity tostrike and to captivate upon the stage had persuaded me that hermind was formed with that peculiar susceptibility which, indifferent modes, must give equal powers to attract and to delightin common life. But I was very much mistaken. As a stranger Imust have admired her noble appearance and beautiful countenance, and have regretted that nothing in her conversation kept pacewith their promise and, as a celebrated actress I hadstill only to do the same. Whether fame and success have spoiled her, or whether she onlypossesses the skill of representing and embellishing materialswith which she is furnished by others, I know not but still Iremain disappointed. She was scarcely seated, and a little general discourse begun, before she told me--at once--that "There was no part she had everso much wished to act as that of Cecilia. " I made some little acknowledgment, and hurried to ask when shehad seen Sir Joshua Reynolds, Miss Palmer, and others with whom Iknew her acquainted. The play she was to read was "The Provoked Husband. " Sheappeared neither alarmed nor elated by her summons, but calmly tolook upon it as a thing of course, from her celebrity. I should very much have liked to have heard her read the play, but my dearest Mrs. Delany spent the whole evening with me, and Icould therefore take no measures for finding out a convenientadjoining room. Mrs. Schwellenberg, I heard afterwards, was soaccommodated, though not well enough for the tea-table. MR. FAIRLY'S BEREAVEMENT. Aug. 23. -At St. James's I read in the newspapers a paragraph thattouched me much for the very amiable Mr. Fairly: it was the deathof his wife, which happened on the Duke of York's birth-day, the16th. (242) Mr. Fairly has devoted his whole time, strength, thoughts, and cares solely to nursing and attending herduring a long and most painful illness which she sustained. Theyspeak of her here as being amiable, but so Page 54 cold and reserved, that she was little known, and by no means inequal favour with her husband, who stands, upon the whole thehighest in general esteem and regard of any individual of thehousehold. I find every mouth open to praise and pity, love andhonour him. TROUBLESOME MR. TURBULENT. Upon returning to Kew, I had a scene for which I was littleenough, indeed, prepared, though willing, and indeed, earnest tosatisfy Mr. Turbulent, I wished him to make an alteration ofbehaviour. After hastily changing my dress, I went, as usual, tothe parlour, to be ready for dinner; but found there no Mrs. Schwellenberg; she was again unwell; Miss Planta was not ready, and Mr. Turbulent was reading by himself. Away he flung his book in a moment, and hastening to shut thedoor lest I should retreat, he rather charged than desired me toexplain my late "chilling demeanour. " Almost startled by his apparent entire ignorance of deserving it, I found an awkwardness I had not foreseen in making myselfunderstood. I wished him rather to feel than be told theimproprieties I meant to obviate - and I did what was possible byhalf evasive, half expressive answers, to call back his ownrecollection and consciousness. In vain, however, was theattempt; he protested himself wholly innocent, and that he wouldrather make an end of his existence than give me offence. He saw not these very protestations were again doing it, and hegrew so vehement in his defence, and so reproachful in hisaccusation of unjust usage, that I was soon totally in aperplexity how to extricate myself from a difficulty I hadregarded simply as his own. The moment he saw I grewembarrassed, he redoubled his challenges to know the cause of my"ill-treatment. " I assured him, then, I could never reckonsilence ill-treatment. "Yes, " he cried, "yes, from you it is ill-treatment, and it hasgiven me the most serious uneasiness. " "I am sorry, " I said, "for that, and did not mean it. " "Not mean it?" cried be. "Could you imagine I should miss yourconversation, your ease, your pleasantness, your gaiety, and takeno notice of the loss?" Then followed a most violent flow of compliments, ending with afresh demand for an explanation, made with an energy Page 55 that, to own the truth, once more quite frightened me. Iendeavoured to appease him, by general promises of becoming morevoluble - and I quite languished to say to him the truth at once;that his sport, his spirit, and his society would all beacceptable to me, would he but divest them of that redundance of-gallantry which rendered them offensive : but I could only thinkhow to say this--I could not bring it out. This promised volubility, though it softened him, he seemed toreceive as a sort of acknowledgment that I owed him somereparation for the disturbance I had caused him. I stared enoughat such an interpretation, which I could by no means allow; butno sooner did I disclaim it than all his violence was resumed, and he urged me to give in my charge against him with animpetuosity that almost made me tremble. I made as little answer as possible, finding everything I saidseemed but the more to inflame his violent spirit; but hisemotion was such, and the cause so inadequate, and my uncertaintyso unpleasant what to think of him altogether, that I was seizedwith sensations so nervous, I Could almost have cried. In thefull torrent of his offended justification against my displeasuretowards him, he perceived my increasing distress how to proceed, and, suddenly stopping, exclaimed in quite another tone, "Now, then, ma'am, I see your justice returning; you feel that you haveused me very ill!" To my great relief entered Miss Planta. He contrived to say, "Remember, you promise to explain all this. " I made him no sort of answer, and though he frequently, in thecourse of the evening, repeated, "I depend upon your promise! Ibuild upon a conference, " I sent his dependence and his buildingto Coventry, by not seeming to hear him. I determined, however, to avoid all tête-à-têtes with himwhatsoever, as much as was in my power. How very few people arefit for them, nobody living in trios and quartettos can imagine! A CONCEITED PARSON. Windsor. -Who should find me out now but Dr. Shepherd. (243) He ishere as canon, and was in residence. He told me he had longwished to come, but had never been able to find the Page 56 way of entrance before. He made me an immense length of visit, and related to me all the exploits of his life, -so far as theywere prosperous. In no farce did a man ever more floridly openupon his own perfections. He assured me I should be delighted toknow the whole of his life; it was equal to anything; andeverything he had was got by his own address and ingenuity. "I could tell the king, " cried he, "more than all the chapter. Iwant to talk to him, but he always gets out of my way; he doesnot know me; he takes me for a mere common person, like the restof the canons here, and thinks of me no more than if I were onlyfit for the cassock;--a mere Scotch priest! Bless 'em!--theyknow nothing about me. You have no conception what things I havedone! And I want to tell 'em all this;--It's fitter for them tohear than what comes to their ears. What I want is for somebodyto tell them what I am. " They know it already, thought I. Then, when he had exhausted this general panegyric, he descendedto some few particulars; especially dilating upon his preaching, and applying to me for attesting its excellence. "I shall make one sermon every year, precisely for you!" hecried; "I think I know what will please you. That on thecreation last Sunday was just to your taste. You shall have suchanother next residence. I think I preach in the right tone--nottoo slow, like that poor wretch Grape, nor too fast like Davisand the rest of 'em; but yet fast enough never to tire them. That's just my idea of good preaching. " Then he told me what excellent apartments he had here and howmuch he should like my opinion in fitting them up. MR. TURBULENT BECOMES A NUISANCE. Aug. 30. -Mrs. Schwellenberg invited Mr. Turbulent to dinner, forshe said he had a large correspondence, and might amuse her. Hecame early; and finding nobody in the eating-parlour, begged towait in mine till Mrs. Schwellenberg came downstairs. This wasthe last thing I wished; but he required no answer, and instantlyresumed the Kew discussion, entreating me to tell him what he haddone. I desired him to desist--in vain, he affirmed I hadpromised him an explanation, and he had therefore a right to it. "You fully mistook me, then, " cried I, "for I meant no Page 57 such thing then; I mean no such thing now; and I never shall meanany such thing in future. Is this explicit? I think it best totell you so at once, that you may expect nothing more, but giveover the subject, and talk of something else. What is the news?" "I'll talk of nothing else!--it distracts me;--pray No, no, tellMe!--I call upon your good-nature!" "I have none--about this! " "Upon your goodness of heart!" "'Tis all hardness here!" "I will cast myself at your feet, --I will kneel to you!" And hewas preparing his immense person for prostration, when Goter(244)opened the door. Such an interruption to his heroics made melaugh heartily; nor could he help joining himself; though themoment she was gone he renewed his importunity with unabatedearnestness. "I remember, " he cried, "it was upon the Terrace you first shewedme this disdain; and there, too, you have shown it me repeatedlysince, with public superciliousness. . . . You well know youhave treated me ill, --you know and have acknowledged it!" "And when?" cried I, amazed and provoked; "when did I do whatcould never be done?" "At Kew, ma'am, you were full of concern--full of remorse for thetreatment you had given me!--and you owned it!" "Good heaven, Mr. Turbulent, what can induce you to say this?" "Is it not true?" "Not a word of it! You know it is not!" "Indeed, " cried he, "I really and truly thought so--hoped so;--Ibelieved you looked as if you felt your own ill-usage, - and itgave to me a delight inexpressible!" This was almost enough to bring back the very same superciliousDistance of which he complained; but, in dread of freshexplanations, I forbore to notice this flight, and only told himhe might be perfectly satisfied, since I no longer Persevered inthe taciturnity to which he objected. "But how, " cried he, "do you give up, without deigning to assignone reason for It"? "The greater the compliment!" cried I, laughing; "I give up toyour request. " "Yes, ma'am, upon my speaking, -but why did you keep Me so long inthat painful suspense?" Page 58 "Nay, " cried I, "could I well be quicker? Till you spoke could Iknow if you heeded it?" "Ah, ma'am--is there no language but of words? Do you pretend tothink there is no other?'--Must I teach it you, ,--teach it toMiss Burney who speaks, whounderstands it so well?--who is never silent, and never can bsilent?" And then came his heroic old homage to the poor eyebrowsvehemently finishing with, "Do you, can you affect to know nolanguage but speech?" " Not, " cried I, coolly, " without the trouble of moreinvestigation than I had taken here. " He called this "contempt, " and, exceedingly irritated, de siredme, once more, to explain, from beginning to end, how he had everoffended me. "Mr. Turbulent, " cried I, "will you be satisfied if I tell you itshall all blow over?" "Make me a vow, then, you will never more, never while you live, resume that proud taciturnity. " "No, no, --certainly not; I never make vows; it is a rule with meto avoid them. " "Give me, then, your promise, --your solemn promise, --at least Imay claim that?" "I have the same peculiarity about promises; I never make them. " He was again beginning to storm, but again I assured him I wouldlet the acquaintance take its old course, if he would but beappeased, and say no more; and, after difficulties innumerable, he at length gave up the point: but to this he was hastened, ifnot driven, by a summons to dinner. DR. HERSCHEL AND HIS SISTER. Sept. -Dr. Herschel is a delightful man; so unassuming with hisgreat knowledge, so willing to dispense it to the ignorant, andso cheerful and easy in his general manners, that were he no genius it would be impossible not to remark him as a pleasing andsensible man. I was equally pleased with his sister, whom I hadwished to see very much, for her great celebrity in her brother'sscience. She is very little, very gentle, very modest, and veryingenious; and her manners are those of a person unhackneyed andunawed by the world, yet desirous to meet Page 59 and to return its smiles. I love not the philosophy that bravesit. This brother and sister seem gratified with its favour, atthe same time that their own pursuit is all-sufficient to themwithout it. I inquired of Miss Herschel if she was still comet-hunting, orcontent now with the moon? The brother answered that he had thecharge of the moon, but he left to his sister to sweep theheavens for comets. Their manner of working together is most ingenious and curious. While he makes his observations without-doors, he has a method ofcommunicating them to his sister so immediately, that she caninstantly commit them to paper, with the precise moment in whichthey are made. By this means he loses not a minute, when thereis anything particularly worth observing, by writing it down, butcan still proceed, yet still have his accounts and calculationsexact. The methods he has contrived to facilitate this commerceI have not the terms to explain, though his simple manner ofshowing them made me, fully, at the time, comprehend them. The night, unfortunately, was dark, and I could not see the moonwith the famous new telescope. I mean not the great telescopethrough which I had taken a walk, for that is still incomplete, but another of uncommon powers. I saw Saturn, however, and hissatellites, very distinctly, and their appearance was verybeautiful. GAY AND ENTERTAINING MR. BUNBURY. Sept. -I saw a great deal of Mr. Bunbury in the course of thismonth, as he was in waiting upon the Duke of York, who spentgreat part of it at Windsor, to the inexpressible delight of hisalmost idolising father. Mr. Bunbury did not open upon me withthat mildness and urbanity that might lead me to forget thestrokes of his pencil, and power of his caricature: he earlyavowed a general disposition to laugh at, censure, or despise allaround him. He began talking of everybody and everything aboutus, with the decisive freedom of a confirmed old intimacy. "I am in disgrace here, already!" he cried almost exultingly. "In disgrace?" I repeated. "Yes, --for not riding out this morning!--I was asked--what CouldI have better to do?--Ha! ha!" The next time that I saw him after your departure from Page 60 Windsor, (245) he talked a great deal of painting and painters, and then said, "The draftsman of whom I think the most highly ofany in the world was in this room the other day, and I did notknow it, and was not introduced to him!" I immediately assured him I never held the honours of the roomwhen its right mistress was in it, but that I would certainlyhave named them to each other had I known he desired it. "O, yes, "' cried he, "of all things I wished to know him. Hedraws like the old masters. I have seen fragments in the styleof many of the very best and first productions of the greatestartists of former times. He could deceive the most criticaljudge. I wish greatly for a sight of his works, and for thepossession of one of them, to add to my collection, as I havesomething from almost everybody else and a small sketch of his Ishould esteem a greater curiosity than all the rest puttogether. "(246) Moved by the justness of' this praise, I fetched himthe sweet little cadeaux so lately left me by Mr. William'skindness. He was very much pleased, and perhaps thought Imight bestow them. O, no--not one stroke of that pencil could Irelinquish! Another evening he gave us the history, of his way of lifeat Brighthelmstone. He spoke highly of the duke, but with muchsatire of all else, and that incautiously, and evidently withan innate defiance of consequences, from a consciousness ofsecret powers to overawe their hurting him. Notwithstanding the general reverence I pay to extraordinarytalents, which lead me to think it even a species ofimpertinence to dwell upon small failings in their rarepossessors, Mr. Bunbury did not gain my good-will. His seriousmanner is supercilious and haughty, and his easy conversationwants rectitude in its principles. For the rest, he isentertaining and gay, full of talk, sociable, willing to enjoywhat is going forward, and ready to speak his opinion withperfect unreserve. Plays and players seem his darling theme; he can rave about themfrom morning to night, and yet be ready to rave again whenmorning returns, He acts as he talks, spouts as Page 61 he recollects, and seems to give his whole soul to dramaticfeeling and expression. This is not, however, his only subject Love and romance are equally clear to his discourse, though theycannot be introduced with equal frequency. Upon these topics heloses himself wholly--he runs into rhapsodies that discredit himat once as a father, a husband, and a moral man. He asserts thatlove Is the first principle of life, and should take place ofevery other; holds all bonds and obligations as nugatory thatwould claim a preference; and advances such doctrines of exaltedsensations in the tender passion as made me tremble while I heardthem. He adores Werter, and would scarce believe I had not read it--still less that I had begun It and left it off, from distaste atits evident tendency. I saw myself sink instantly in hisestimation, though till this little avowal I had appeared toStand in it very honourably. THE PRINCE OF WALES AT WINDSOR AGAIN. One evening, while I was sitting with Mrs. Delany, and her fairniece, when tea was over, and the gentlemen all withdrawn, thedoor was Opened, and a star entered, that I perceived presentlyto be the Prince of Wales. He was here to hunt with his royalfather and brother. With great politeness he made me his firstbow, and then advancing to Mrs. Delany, insisted, veryconsiderately, on her sitting still, though he stood himself forhalf an hour--all the time he stayed. He entered into discoursevery good-humouredly, and with much vivacity; described to herhis villa at Brighthelmstone, told several anecdotes ofadventures there, and seemed desirous to entertain both her andmyself . . . . . NOV. 8. -At near one o'clock in the morning, while the wardrobewoman was pinning up the queen's hair, there was a sudden rap-tapat the dressing-room door. Extremely surprised, I looked at thequeen, to see what should be done; she did not speak. I had never heard such a sound before, for at the royal doors there Is always a peculiar kind of scratch used, instead of tapping. Iheard it, however, again, --and the queen called out, "What isthat?" I Was really startled, not conceiving who could take sostrange a liberty as to come to the queen's apartment without theannouncing of a page - and no page, I was very sure, would makesuch a noise. Page 62 Again the sound was repeated, and more smartly. I grew quitealarmed, imagining some serious evil at hand--either regardingthe king or some of the princesses. The queen, however, bid meopen the door. I did--but what was MY surprise to see there alarge man, in an immense wrapping great coat, buttoned up roundhis chin, so that he was almost hid between cape and hat! I stood quite motionless for a moment--but he, as if alsosurprised, drew back; I felt quite sick with sudden terror--Ireally thought some ruffian had broke into the house, or amadman. "Who is it?" cried the queen. "I do not know, ma'am, " I answered. "Who is it?" she called aloud; and then, taking off his hat, entered the Prince of Wales! The queen laughed very much, so did I too, happy in thisunexpected explanation. He told her, eagerly, he merely came to inform her there were themost beautiful northern lights to be seen that could possibly beimagined, and begged her to come to the gallery windows. FALSE RUMOURS OF Miss BURNEY'S RESIGNATION. Wednesday, Sept. 14--We went to town for the drawing-room, and Icaught a most severe cold, by being oblige to have the glass downon my side, to suit Mrs. Schwellenberg, though the sharpest windblew in that ever attacked a poor phiz. However, these are thesort of desagremens I can always best bear; and for the rest, Ihave now pretty constant civility. My dear father drank tea with me - but told me of a paragraph in"The World, " that gave me some uneasiness; to this effect:--"Wehear that Miss Burney has resigned her place about the queen, andis now promoted to attend the princesses, an office far moresuited to her character and abilities, which will now be calledforth as they merit. "--Or to that purpose. As "The World" is nottaken in here, I flattered myself it would not be known; for Iknew how little pleasure such a paragraph would give, and wasvery sorry for it. The next day, at St. James's, Miss Planta desired to speak to me, before the queen arrived. She acquainted me Of the same "news, "and said, "Everybody spoke of it;" and the queen might receivetwenty letters of recommend, to Page 63 my place before night. Still I could only be sorry. Anotherparagraph had now appeared, she told me, contradicting the first, and saying, "The resignation of Miss Burney is premature; it onlyarose from an idea of the service the education of the princessesmight reap from her virtues and accomplishments. " I was really concerned - conscious how little gratified my royalmistress would be by the whole :-and, presently, Miss Planta cameto me again, and told me that the princesses had mentioned it! They never read any newspapers; but they had heard of it from theDuke of York. I observed the queen was most particularly gracious with me, softer, gentler, more complacent than ever; and, while dressing, she dismissed her wardrobe-woman, and, looking at me verysteadfastly, said, "Miss Burney, do you ever read newspapers?" "Sometimes, " I answered, "but not often: however. I believe Iknow what your majesty means!" I could say no less; I was so sure of her meaning. "Do you?" she cried. "Yes, ma'am, and I have been very much hurt by it: that is, ifyour majesty means anything relative to myself?" "I do!" she answered, still looking at me with earnestness. "My father, ma'am, " cried I, "told me of it last night, with agood deal of indignation. " "I, " cried she, "did not see it myself: you know how little Iread the newspapers. " "Indeed, " cried I, "as it was in a paper not taken in here, Ihoped it would quite have escaped your majesty. " ". So it did: I only heard of it. " I looked a little curious, and she kindly explained herself. "When the Duke of York came yesterday to dinner, he said almostimmediately, 'Pray, ma'am, what has Miss Burney left You for?' 'Left me?' 'Yes, they say she's gone; pray what's the reason?''Gone?' 'Yes, it's at full length in all the newspapers: is notshe gone?' 'Not that I know of. '" "All the newspapers" was undoubtedly a little flourish of theduke; but we jointly censured and lamented the unbridled libertyof the press, in thus inventing, contradicting, and bringing onand putting off, whatever they pleased. I saw, however, she had really been staggered: she concluded, Ifancy, that the paragraph arose from some latent Muse, whichmight end in matter of fact; for she talked to me of Mrs. Dickenson, and of all that related to her retreat, and Page 64 dwelt upon the subject with a sort of solicitude that seemedapprehensive--if I may here use such a word-of a similar action. It appeared to me that she rather expected some further assuranceon my part that no such view or intention had given rise to thispretended report; and therefore, when I had again the honour ofher conversation alone, I renewed the subject, and mentioned thatmy father had had some thoughts of contradicting the paragraphhimself. "And has he done it ? " cried she quite eagerly. "No, ma'am; for, upon further consideration, he feared it mightonly excite fresh paragraphs, and that the whole would soonerdie, if neglected. " "So, " said she, "I have been told; for, some years ago, therewas a paragraph in the papers I wanted myself to have hadcontradicted, but they acquainted me it was best to be patient, and it would be forgot the sooner. " "This, however, ma'am, has been contradicted this morning. " "By your father?" cried she, again speaking eagerly. "No, ma'am; I know not by whom. " She then asked how it was done. This was very distressing but Iwas forced to repeat It as well as I could, reddening enough, though omitting, you may believe, the worst. just then there happened an interruption; which was vexatious, asit prevented a concluding speech, disclaiming all thoughts ofresignation, which I saw was really now become necessary for thequeen's satisfaction; and since it was true--why not say it? And, accordingly, the next day, when she was most excessivelykind to me, I seized an opportunity, by attending her through theapartments to the breakfast-room, to beg, permission to speak toher. It was smilingly granted me. "I have now, ma'am, read both the paragraphs. " "Well?" with a look of much curiosity. "And indeed I thought them both very impertinent. Theysay that the idea arose from a notion of my being promoted to aplace about the princesses!" "I have not seen either of the paragraphs, " she answered, "butthe Prince of Wales told me of the second yesterday. " "They little know me, ma'am, " I cried, "who think I should regardany other place as a promotion that removed me from yourmajesty. " Page 65 "I did not take it ill, I assure you, " cried she, gently. "Indeed, ma'am, I am far from having a wish for any suchpromotion--far from it! your majesty does not bestow a smile uponme that does not secure and confirm my attachment. " one of her best smiles followed this, with a very condescendinglittle bow, and the words, "You are very good, " uttered in a mostgentle Voice; and she went on to her breakfast. I am most glad this complete explanation passed. Indeed it ismost true I would not willingly quit a place about the queen forany place; and I was glad to mark that her smiles were to me thewhole estimate of its value. This little matter has proved, in the end, very gratifying to mefor it has made clear beyond all doubt her desire of retainingme, and a considerably increased degree of attention andcomplacency have most flatteringly shown a wish I should beretained by attachment. TYRANNICAL MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. Nov. 27-I had a terrible journey indeed to town, Mrs. Schwellenberg finding it expedient to have the glass down on myside, whence there blew in a sharp wind, which so painfullyattacked my eyes that they were inflamed even before we -arrivedin town. Mr. De Luc and Miss Planta both looked uneasy, but no one durstspeak; and for me, it was among the evils that I can always bestbear yet before the evening I grew so ill that I could notpropose going to Chelsea, lest I should be utterly unfitted forThursday's drawing-room. The next day, however, I received a consolation that has beensome ease to my mind ever since. My dear father spent theevening with me, and was so incensed at the state of my eyes, which were now as piteous to behold as to feel, and at therelation of their usage, that he charged me, another time, todraw up my 'glass in defiance of all opposition, and to abide byall consequences, since my place was wholly immaterial when putin competition with my health. I was truly glad of this permission to rebel, and it has given Mean internal hardiness in all similar assaults, that has at leastrelieved my mind from the terror of giving mortal offence wheremost I owe implicit obedience, should provocation overpower mycapacity of forbearance. When we assembled to return to Windsor, Mr. De Luc was Page 66 in real consternation at sight of my eyes; and I saw an indignantglance at my coadjutrix, that could scarce content itself withoutbeing understood. Miss Planta ventured not at such a glance, buta whisper broke out, as we were descending the stairs, expressiveof horror against the same poor person--poor person indeed--toexercise a power productive only of abhorrence, to those who viewas well as to those who feel it! Some business of Mrs. Schwellenberg's occasioned a delay of thejourney, and we all retreated back; and when I returned to myroom, Miller, the old head housemaid, came to me, with a littleneat tin saucepan in her hand, saying, "Pray, ma'am, use this foryour eyes; 'tis milk and butter, much as I used to make forMadame Haggerdorn when she travelled in the winter with Mrs. Schwellenberg. " Good heaven! I really shuddered when she added, that all thatpoor woman's misfortunes with her eyes, which, from inflammationafter inflammation, grew nearly blind, were attributed by herselfto these journeys, in which she was forced to have the glass downat her side in all weathers, and frequently the glasses behindher also! Upo n my word this account of my predecessor was theleast exhilarating intelligence I could receive! Goter told me, afterwards, that all the servants in the house had remarked I wasgoing just the same way! Miss Planta presently ran into my room, to say she had hopes weshould travel without this amiable being; and she had left me buta moment when Mrs. Stainforth succeeded her, exclaiming, "O, forheaven's sake, don't leave her behind; for heaven's sake, MissBurney, take her with you!" 'Twas impossible not to laugh at these opposite' interests, both, from agony of fear, breaking through all restraint. Soon after, however, we all assembled again, and got into the coach. Mr. ' deLuc, who was my vis-`a-vis, instantly pulled up the glass. "Put down that glass!" was the immediate order. He affected not to hear her, and began conversing. She enragedquite tremendously, calling aloud to be obeyed without delay. Helooked compassionately at me, and shrugged his shoulders, andsaid, "But, ma'am-" "Do it, Mr. De Luc, when I tell you! I will have it! When youbeen too cold, you might bear it!" ""It is not for me, ma'am, but poor Miss Burney. " "O, poor Miss Burney might bear it the same! put it down, Mr. DeLuc! without, I will get out! put it down, when I tell Page 67 you! It is my coach! I will have it selfs! I might go alone init, or with one, or with what you call nobody, when I please!" Frightened for good Mr. De Luc, and the more for being muchobliged to him, I now interfered, and begged him to let down theglass. Very reluctantly he complied, and I leant back in thecoach, and held up my muff to my eyes. What a journey ensued! To see that face when lighted up with fury is a sight for horror! I was glad to exclude it by my muff. Miss Planta alone attempted to speak. I did not think itincumbent on me to "make the agreeable, " thus used; I wastherefore wholly dumb : for not a word, not an apology, not oneexpression of being sorry for what I suffered, was uttered. Themost horrible ill-humour, violence, and rudeness, were all thatwere shown. Mr. De Luc was too much provoked to take his usualmethod of passing all off by constant talk and as I had neverseen him venture to appear provoked before, I felt a greatobligation to his kindness. When we were about half way, westopped to water the horses. He then again pulled up the glass, as if from absence. A voice of fury exclaimed, "Let it down!without I won't go!" "I am sure, " cried he, "all Mrs. De Luc's plants will be killedby this frost For the frost was very severe indeed. Then he proposed my changing places with Miss Planta, who satopposite Mrs. Schwellenberg, and consequently on the shelteredside. "Yes!" cried Mrs. Schwellenberg, "MISS Burney might sitthere, and so she ought!" I told her, briefly, I was always sick in riding backwards. "O, ver well! when you don't like it, don't do it. You mightbear it when you like it? what did the poor Haggerdorn bear it!when the blood was all running down from her eyes!" This was too much! "I must take, then, " I cried, "the morewarning!" After that I spoke not a word. I ruminated all therest of the way upon my dear father's recent charge andpermission. I was upon the point continually of availing myselfof both, but alas! I felt the deep disappointment I should givehim, and I felt the most cruel repugnance to owe a resignation toa quarrel. These reflections powerfully forbade the rebellion to which thisunequalled arrogance and cruelty excited me; and after revolvingthem again and again, I----accepted a bit of cake which shesuddenly offered me as we reached Windsor, and Page 68 determined, since I submitted to my monastic destiny from motivesmy serious thoughts deemed right, I would not be prompted tooppose it from mere feelings of resentment to one who, strictly, merited only contempt. . . . I gulped as well as I could at dinner; but all civil fits areagain over. Not a word was said to me: yet I was really very illall the afternoon; the cold had seized my elbows, from holdingthem up so long, and I was stiff and chilled all over. In the evening, however, came my soothing Mrs. Delany. Sweetsoul ! she folded me in her arms, and wept over my shoulder! Tooangry to stand upon ceremony she told Mrs. Schwellenberg, afterour public tea, she must retire to my room, that she might speakwith me alone. This was highly resented, and I was threatened, afterwards, that she would come to tea no more, and we might talkour secrets always. Mr. De Luc called upon me next morning, and openly avowed hisindignation, protesting it was an oppression he could not bear tosee used, and reproving me for checking him when he would haverun all risks. I thanked him most cordially; but assured him theworst of all inflammations to me was that of a quarrel, and Ientreated him, therefore, not to interfere. But we have beencordial friends from that time forward. Miss Planta also called, kindly bringing me some eye-water, andtelling me she had "Never so longed to beat anybody in her life;and yet, I assure you, " she added, "everybody remarks that shebehaves, altogether, better to you than to any body!" O heavens! MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S CAPRICIOUSNESS. Saturday, Dec. 1. -'Tis strange that two feelings so very oppositeas love and resentment should have nearly equal power ininspiring courage for or against the object that excites them yetso it is. In former times I have often, on various occasions, felt it raised to anything possible, by affection, and now I havefound it mount to the boldest height, by disdain For, be itknown, such gross and harsh usage I experienced at the end oflast month, since the inflammation of the eyes which I bore muchmore composedly than sundry personal indignities that followed, that I resolved upon a new mode of Page 69 conduct--namely, to go out every evening, in Order to show that Iby no means considered myself as bound to stay at home afterdinner, if treated very ill; and this most courageous plan Iflattered myself must needs either procure me a liberty ofabsence, always so much wished, or occasion a change of behaviourto more decency and endurability. I had received for to-day aninvitation to meet Lady Bute and Lady Louisa Stuart at my dearestMrs. Delany's, and I should have wished it at all times, so muchI like them both. I had no opportunity to speak first to myroyal mistress, but I went to her at noon, rather more dressedthan usual, and when I saw her look a little surprised, Iexplained my reason. She seemed very well satisfied with it, butmy coadjutrix appeared in an astonishment unequalled, and atdinner, when we necessarily met again, new testimonies of conductquite without example were exhibited: for when Mrs. Thackeray andMiss Planta were helped, she helped herself, and appearedpublicly to send me to Coventry--though the sole provocation wasintending to forego her society this evening! I sat quiet and unhelped a few minutes, considering what to do:for so little was my appetite, I was almost tempted to go withoutdinner entirely. However, upon further reflection, I concludedit would but harden her heart still more to have this freshaffront so borne, and so related, as it must have been, throughWindsor, and therefore I calmly begged some greens from MissPlanta. The weakness of my eyes, which still would not bear the light, prevented me from tasting animal food all this time. A little ashamed, she then anticipated Miss Planta's assistance, by offering me some French beans. To curb my own displeasure, Iobliged myself to accept them. Unfortunately, however, thislittle softening was presently worn out, by some speeches whichit encouraged from Mrs. Thackeray, who seemed to seize the momentof permission to acknowledge that I was in the room, by tellingme she had lately met some of my friends in town, among whom Mrs. Chapone and the Burrows family had charged her with a thousandregrets for My Seclusion from their society, and as many kindcompliments and good wishes. This again sent me to Coventry for the rest of the dinner. Whenit was over, and we were all going upstairs to coffee, I spoke toColumb, (247) in passing, to have a chair for me at seven o'clock. Page 70 "For what, then, " cried a stern voice behind me, "for What go youupstairs at all, when you don't drink coffee? Did she imagine I should answer "For your society, ma'am"? No--Iturned back quick as lightning, and only saying, "Very well, ma'am, " moved towards my own room. Again a little ashamed of herself, she added, rather morecivilly, "For what should you have that trouble?" I simply repeated my "Very well, ma'am, " in a voice of, Ibelieve, rather pique than calm acquiescence, and entered my ownapartment, unable to enjoy this little release, however speedy toobtain it, from the various, the grievous emotions of my mind, that this was the person, use me how she might, with whom I mustchiefly pass my time! So unpleasant were the sensations that filled me, that I couldrecover no gaiety, even at the house of my beloved friend, thoughreceived there by her dear self, her beautiful niece, and LadyBute and Lady Louisa, in the most flattering manner. . . . The behaviour of my coadjutrix continued in the same strain---really shocking to endure. I always began, at our firstmeeting, some little small speech, and constantly received soharsh a rebuff at the second word, that I then regularly seatedmyself by a table, at work, and remained wholly silent the restof the day. I tried the experiment of making my escape; but Iwas fairly conquered from pursuing it. The constant blackreception depressed me out of powers to exert for flight; andtherefore I relinquished this plan, and only got off, as I could, to my own room, or remained dumb in hers. To detail the circumstances of the tyranny and the grossieret`e Iexperienced at this time would be afflicting to my belovedfriends, and oppressive to myself, I am fain, however, to confessthey vanquished me. I found the restoration of some degree ofdecency quite necessary to my quiet, since such open and horribleill-will from one daily in my sight even affrighted me: itpursued me in shocking visions even when I avoided her presence;and therefore I was content to put upon myself the great andcruel force of seeking to conciliate a person who had nocomplaint against me, but that she had given me an inflammationof the eyes, which had been witnessed and resented by herfavourite Mr. De Luc. I rather believe that latter circumstancewas what incensed her so inveterately. Page 71 The next extraordinary step she took was one that promised meamends for all: she told me that there was no occasion we shouldcontinue together after coffee, unless by her invitation. Ieagerly exclaimed that this seemed a most feasible way ofproducing some variety in our intercourse, and that I would adoptit most readily. She wanted instantly to call back her words :she had expected I should be alarmed, and solicit her leave to beburied -with her every evening! When she saw me so eager inacceptance, she looked mortified and disappointed ; but I wouldnot suffer her to retract, and I began, at once, to retire to myroom the moment coffee was over. This flight of the sublime, which, being her own, she could notresent, brought all round: for as she saw me every eveningprepare to depart with the coffee, she constantly began, at thatperiod, some civil discourse to detain me. I always suffered itto succeed, while civil, and when there was a failure, or apause, I retired. By this means I recovered such portion of quiet as is compatiblewith a situation like mine: for she soon returned entirely tosuch behaviour as preceded the offence of my eyes; and Iobtained a little leisure at which she could not repine, as acaprice of her own bestowed it. . . . To finish, however, with respect to the présidente, I must nowacquaint you that, as my eyes entirely grew -well, her incivilityentirely wore off, and I became a far greater favourite than Ihad ever presumed to think myself till that time! I was obligedto give up my short-lived privilege of retirement, and live on asbefore, making only my two precious little visits to my belovedcomforter and supporter, and to devote the rest of my wearisometime to her presence--better satisfied, however, since I now sawthat open war made me wretched, even When a victor, beyond whatany subjection could do that had peace for its terms. This was not an unuseful discovery, for it has abated allpropensity to experiment in shaking off a yoke which, howeverhard to bear, is so annexed to my place, that I must take onewith the other, and endure them as I can. My favour, now, was beyond the favour of all others; I was "goodMiss Berner, " at every other word, and no one else was listenedto if I would speak, and no one else was Accepted for a partnerif I would play! I found no cause to Which I could attributethis change. I believe the whole mere Matter of caprice. Page 72 New YEAR's DAY. Queen's Lodge, Windsor, Tuesday, Jan. 1, 1788-I began the newyear, as I ended the old one, by seizing the first moment itpresented to my own disposal, for flying to Mrs. Delany, andbegging her annual benediction. She bestowed it with thesweetest affection, and I spent, as usual all the time with her Ihad to spare. . . . In the evening, by long appointment, I was to receive Mr. Fisherand his bride. (248) Mrs. Schwellenberg, of her own accord desiredme to have them in my room, and said she would herself make teafor the equerries in the eating-parlour. Mrs. Delany and MissPort came to meet them. Mrs. Fisher seems good-natured, cheerful, and obliging, neither well nor ill in appearance, and, I fancy, not strongly marked in any way. But she adores Mr. Fisher, and has brought him a large fortune. The Princess Amelia was brought by Mrs. Cheveley, to fetch Mrs. Delany to the queen. Mrs. Fisher was much delighted in seeingher royal highness, who, when in a grave humour, does 'thehonours of her rank with a seriousness extremely entertaining. She commands the company to sit down, holds out her little fathand to be kissed, and makes a distant courtesy, with an air ofcomplacency and encouragement that might suit any princess offive times her age. I had much discourse, while the rest were engaged, with Mr. Fisher, about my ever-valued, ever-regretted Mrs. Thrale. Can Icall her by another name, loving that name so long, so well, forher and her sake? He gave me concern by information that she isnow publishing, not only the "Letters " of Dr. Johnson, but herown. How strange! Jan. 4. -In the morning, Mrs. Schwellenberg presented me, from thequeen, with a new year's gift. It is plate, and very elegant. The queen, I find, makes presents to her whole household everyyear: more or less, according to some standard of their claimswhich she sets up, very properly, in her own mind. CHATTY MR. BRYANT AGAIN. Jan. 8. -I met Mr. Bryant, who came, by appointment to give methat pleasure. He was in very high spirits, full Of anecdote andamusement. He has as much good-humoured Page 73 chit-chat and entertaining gossiping as if he had given no timeto the classics and his studies, instead of having nearly devotedhis life to them. One or two of his little anecdotes I will tryto recollect. in the year thirty-three of this century, and in his own memory, there was a cause brought before a judge, between two highwaymen, who had quarrelled about the division of their booty; and thesemen had the effrontery to bring their dispute to trial. "In thepetition of the plaintiff, " said Mr. Bryant, "he asserted that hehad been extremely ill-used by the defendant: that they hadcarried on a very advantageous trade together, upon Black-heath, Hounslow-heath, Bagshot-heath, and other places; that theirbusiness chiefly consisted in watches, wearing apparel, andtrinkets of all sorts, as well as large concerns between them incash; that they had agreed to an equitable partition of allprofits, and that this agreement had been violated. So impudenta thing, the judge said, was never before brought out in a court, and so he refused to pass sentence in favour of either of them, and dismissed them from the court. " Then he told us a great number of comic slip-slops, of the firstLord Baltimore, who made a constant misuse of one word foranother: for instance, "I have been, " says he, "upon a littleexcoriation to see a ship lanced; and there is not a finer goingvessel upon the face of God's earth: you've no idiom how well itsailed. " Having given us this elegant specimen of the language of onelord, he proceeded to give us one equally forcible of theunderstanding of another. The late Lord Plymouth, meeting in acountry town with a puppet-show, was induced to see it; and, fromthe high entertainment he received through Punch, he determinedto buy him, and accordingly asked his price, and paid it, andcarried the puppet to his country-house, that he might bediverted with him at any odd hour. Mr. Bryant protests he metthe same troop Just as the purchase had been made, and wenthimself to the puppet-show, which was exhibited senza punch! Next he spoke upon the Mysteries, or origin of our theatricalentertainments, and repeated the plan and conduct Of several Ofthese strange compositions, in particular one he remembered whichwas called "Noah's Ark, " and in which that patriarch and hissons, just previous to the Deluge, made it all their delight tospeed themselves into the ark without Mrs. Noah, Page 74 whom they wished to escape; but she surprised them just as theyhad embarked, and made so prodigious a racket against the doorthat, after a long and violent contention, she forced them toopen it, and gained admission, having first content, them bybeing kept out till she was thoroughly wet to the skin. Thesemost eccentric and unaccountable dramas filled up the chief ofour conversation. DR. JOHNSON's LETTERS To MRS. THRALE DISCUSSED. Wednesday, Jan. 9. -To-day Mrs. Schwellenberg did me a realfavour, and with real good nature; for she sent me the "Letters"of my poor lost friends, Dr. Johnson and Mrs. Thrale, (249) whichshe knew me to be almost pining to procure. The book belongs tothe Bishop of Carlisle, who lent it to Mr. Turbulent, from whomit was again lent to the queen, and so passed on to Mrs. Schwellenberg. It is still unpublished. (249) With what a sadness have I been reading!--what scenes in itrevived!--what regrets renewed! These letters have not been moreimproperly published in the whole, than they are injudiciouslydisplayed in their several parts. She has all--every word--andthinks that, perhaps, a justice to Dr. Johnson, which, in fact, is the greatest injury to his memory. The few she has selectedof her own do her, indeed, much credit; she has discarded allthat were trivial and merely local, and given only such ascontain something instructive, amusing, or ingenious. About four of the letters, however, of my ever-revered Dr. Johnson are truly worthy his exalted powers: one is upon death, in considering its approach as we are surrounded, or not bymourners; another, upon the sudden and premature loss of poorMrs. Thrale's darling and only son. (250) Our name once occurs: how I started at its sight It is to mentionthe party that planned the first visit to our house: Miss Owen, Mr. Seward, Mrs. And Miss Thrale, and Dr. Johnson. How wellshall we ever, my Susan, remember that morning! I have had so many attacks upon her subject, that at last Ifairly begged quarter, --and frankly owned to Mrs. Schwellenbergthat I could not endure to speak any more upon the matter, endeavouring, at the same time, to explain to her my Page 75 long and intimate connection with the family. Yet nothing Icould say put a stop to "How can you defend her in this?--how canyou justify her in that?"" etc. Alas! that I cannot defend heris precisely the reason I can so ill bear to speak of her. Howdifferently and how sweetly has the queen conducted herself -uponthis occasion! Eager to see the "Letters, " she began readingthem with the utmost avidity : a natural curiosity arose to beinformed of several names and several particulars, which she knewI could satisfy; yet, when she perceived how tender a string shetouched, she soon suppressed her inquiries, or only made themwith so much gentleness towards the parties mentioned, that Icould not be distressed in my answers; and even In a short time Ifound her questions made so favourable a disposition, that Ibegan secretly to rejoice in them, as the means by which I reapedopportunity of clearing several points that had been darkened bycalumny, and of softening others that had been viewed whollythrough false lights. Jan. 10. -When we were summoned to the tea-room I met Miss de Luccoming out. I asked if she did not stay tea? "O How can I, "cried she, in a voice of distress, "when already, as there iscompany here without me, Mrs. Schwellenberg has asked me what Icame for?" I was quite shocked for her, and could only shrug indismay and let her pass. When there is no one else she iscourted to stay! Mr. And Mrs. Fisher came soon after; and the Princesses Augustaand Amelia fetched away Mrs. Delany. Soon after Colonel Wellbred came, ushering in Mr. Fairly and hisyoung son, who is at Eton school. I had seen Mr. F. But oncesince his great and heavy loss, though now near half a year hadelapsed. So great a personal alteration in a few months I haveseldom seen: thin, haggard, worn with care, grief, and watching--his hair turned grey--white, rather, and some of his front teethvanished. He seemed to have suffered, through his feelings, thedepredations suffered by Others through age and time. Hisdemeanour, upon this trying occasion, filled me with as muchadmiration as his countenance did with compassion : calm, composed, and gentle, he seemed bent on appearing not onlyresigned, but cheerful. I might even have supposed him vergingon being happy, had not the havoc of grief on his face, and thetone of deep melancholy in his voice, assured me his Solitude wasall sacred to his sorrows. Page 76 Mr. Fisher was very sad himself, grieving at the death of Dr. Harley, Dean of Windsor and Bishop of Hereford. He began, however, talking to me of these "Letters, " and, with him, I couldspeak of them, and of their publisher, without reserve: but themoment they were named Mrs. Schwellenberg uttered such hard andharsh things, that I could not keep my seat and the less, because, knowing my strong friendship there in former days, I wassure it was meant I should be hurt, I attempted not to speak, well aware all defence is irritation, where an attack is madefrom ill-nature, not justice. The gentle Mr. Fisher, sorry for the cause and the effect of thisassault, tried vainly to turn it aside: what began with censuresoon proceeded to invective; and at last, being really sick fromcrowding recollections of past scenes, where the person now thusvilified had been dear and precious to my very heart, I wasforced, abruptly, to walk out of the room. It was indifferent to me whether or not my retreat was noticed. I have never sought to disguise the warm friendship that oncesubsisted between Mrs. Thrale and myself, for I always hopedthat, where it was known, reproach might be spared to a name Ican never hear without a secret pang, even when simply mentioned. Oh, then, how severe a one is added, when its sound isaccompanied by the hardest aspersions! I returned when I could, and the subject was over. When all were gone Mrs. Schwellenberg said, "I have told it Mr. Fisher that he drove you out from the room, and he says he won'tnot do it no more. " She told me next--that in the second volume I also was mentioned. Where she may have heard this I cannot gather, but it has givenme a sickness at heart inexpressible. It is not that I expectseverity: for at the time of that correspondence--at all times, indeed, previous to the marriage with Piozzi, if Mrs. Thraleloved not F. B. , where shall we find faith in words, or givecredit to actions? But her present resentment, however unjustlyincurred, of my constant disapprobation of her conduct, mayprompt some note, or other mark, to point out her change ofsentiments--but let me try to avoid such painful expectations; atleast, not to dwell upon them. O, little does she know how tenderly at this moment I could runagain into her arms, so often opened to receive me with acordiality I believed inalienable. And it was sincere then, I amsatisfied: pride, resentment of disapprobation, and consciousnessof unjustifiable proceedings --- these have now Page 77 changed her: but if we met, and she saw and believed my faithfulregard, how would she again feel all her own return! Well, what a dream am I making! Jan. 11. -Upon this ever-interesting subject, I had to-day a verysweet scene with the queen. While Mrs. Schwellenberg and myselfwere both in our usual attendance at noon, her majesty inquiredof Mrs. Schwellenberg if she had yet read any of the "Letters"? "No, " she answered, "I have them not to read. " I then said she had been so obliging as to lend them to me, towhom they were undoubtedly of far greater personal value. "That is true, " said the queen; "for I think there is but littlein them that can be of much consequence or value to the public atlarge. " "Your majesty, you will hurt Miss Burney if you speak about that;poor Miss Burney will be quite hurt by that. " The queen looked much surprised, and I hastily exclaimed, "O, no!--not with the gentleness her majesty names it. " Mrs. Schwellenberg then spoke in German; and, I fancy, by thenames she mentioned, recounted how Mr. Turbulent and Mr. Fisherhad "driven me out of the room. " The queen seemed extremely astonished, and I was truly vexed atthis total misunderstanding; and that the goodness she hasexerted upon this occasion should seem so little to havesucceeded. But I could not explain, lest it should seem toreproach what was meant as kindness in Mrs. Schwellenberg, whohad not yet discovered that it was not the subject, but her ownmanner of treating it, that was so painful to me. However, the instant Mrs. Schwellenberg left the room, and weremained alone, the queen, approaching me in the softest manner, and looking earnestly in my face, said, "You could not beoffended, surely, at what I said. " "O no, ma'am, " cried I, deeply indeed penetrated by suchunexpected condescension. "I have been longing to make a speechto your majesty upon this matter; and it was but yesterday that Ientreated Mrs. Delany to make it for me, and to express to yourmajesty the very deep sense I feel of the lenity with which thisSubject has been treated in my hearing. " "Indeed, " cried she, with eyes strongly expressive of thecomplacency with which she heard me, "I have always spoke aslittle as possible upon this affair. I remember but twice that Ihave named it: once I said to the Bishop of Carlisle, Page 78 that I thought most of these letters had better have been sparedthe printing; and once to Mr. Langton, at the Drawing-room, Isaid, 'Your friend Dr. Johnson, sir, has had many friends busy topublish his books, and his memoirs, and his meditations, and histhoughts; but I think he wanted one friend more. ' 'What for?ma'am, ' cried he; 'A friend to suppress them, ' I answered. And, indeed, this is all I ever said about the business. " A PAIR OF PARAGONS. . . . . . I was amply recompensed in spending an evening the most tomy natural taste of any I have spent officially under the royalroof. How high Colonel Wellbred stands with me you know; Mr. Fairly. , with equal gentleness, good breeding, and delicacy, addsa far more general turn for conversation, and seemed not onlyready, but pleased, to open upon subjects of such serious importas were suited to his state of mind, and could not but beedifying, from a man of such high moral character, to all whoheard him. Life and death were the deep themes to which he . Led; and thelittle space between them, and the little value of that spacewere the subject of his comments. The unhappiness of man atleast after the ardour of his first youth, and the nearworthlessness of the world, seemed so deeply impressed on hismind, that no reflection appeared to be consolatory to it, savethe necessary shortness of our mortal career. . . . "Indeed, " said he, "there is no time--I know of none--in whichlife is well worth having. The prospect before us is never suchas to make it worth preserving, except from religious motives. " I felt shocked and sorry. Has he never tasted happiness, who sodeeply drinks of sorrow? He surprised me, and filled me, indeed, with equal wonder and pity. At a loss how to make an answersufficiently general, I made none at all, but referred to ColonelWellbred: perhaps he felt the same difficulty, for he saidnothing; and Mr. Fairly then gathered an answer for himself, bysaying, "Yes, it may, indeed, be attainable in the only actual aswell as only right way to seek it, --that of doing good!" "If, " cried Colonel Wellbred, afterwards, "I lived always inLondon, I should be as tired of life as you are: I always sickenof it there, if detained beyond a certain time. " Page 79 They then joined in a general censure of dissipated life, and ageneral distaste of dissipated characters, which seemed, however, to comprise almost all their acquaintance; and this presentlyoccasioned Mr. Fairly to say, "It is, however, but fair for you and me to own, Wellbred, thatif people in general, 'are bad, we live chiefly amongst those whoare the worst. " Whether he meant any particular set to which they belong, orwhether his reflection went against people in high life, such 'asconstitute their own relations and connexions in general, Icannot say, as he did not explain himself. Mr. Fairly, besides the attention due to him from all, inconsideration of his late loss, merited from me peculiardeference, in return for a mark I received of his disposition tothink favourably of me from our first acquaintance: for not morewas I surprised than pleased at his opening frankly upon thecharacter of my coadjutrix, and telling me at once, that whenfirst he saw me here, just before the Oxford expedition, he hadsincerely felt for and pitied me. . . . Sunday, Jan. 13. -There is something in Colonel Wellbred soelegant, so equal, and so pleasing, it is impossible not to seehim with approbation, and to speak of him with praise. But Ifound in Mr. Fairly a much greater depth of understanding, andall his sentiments seem formed upon the most perfect basis ofreligious morality. During the evening, in talking over plays and players, we allthree united warmly in panegyric of Mrs. Siddons; but when Mrs. Jordan was named, Mr. Fairly and myself were left to make thebest of her. Observing the silence of Colonel Wellbred, wecalled upon him to explain it. "I have seen her, " he answered, quietly, "but in one part. " "Whatever it was, " cried Mr. Fairly, "it must have been welldone. " "Yes, " answered the colonel, "and so well that it seemed to beher real character: and I disliked her for that very reason, forit was a character that, off the stage or on, is equallydistasteful to me--a hoyden. " I had had a little of this feeling myself when I saw her in "TheRomp, "(251) where she gave me, in the early part, a real disgust;but afterwards she displayed such uncommon humour that it broughtme to pardon her assumed vulgarity, in favour of a representationof nature, which, In its particular class, seemed to me quiteperfect. Page 80 MR. TURBULENT'S SELF CONDEMNATION. At the usual tea-time I sent Columb, to see if anybody had comeupstairs. He brought me word the eating-parlour was empty. Idetermined to go thither at once, with my work, that there mightbe no pretence to fetch me when the party assembled; but uponopening the door I saw Mr. Turbulent there, and alone! I entered with readiness into discourse with him, and showed adisposition to placid good-will, for with so irritable a spiritresentment has much less chance to do good than an appearance ofnot supposing it deserved. Our conversation was in the utmostgravity. He told me he was not happy, though owned he hadeverything to make him so; but he was firmly persuaded thathappiness in this world was a real stranger. I combated thismisanthropy in general terms; but he assured me that such was hisunconquerable opinion of human life. How differently did I feel when I heard an almost similarsentiment from Mr. Fairly! In him I imputed it to unhappiness ofcircumstances, and was filled with compassion for his fate: inthis person I impute it to something blameable within, and Itried by all the arguments I could devise to give him betternotions. For him, however, I soon felt pity, though not of thesame composition : for he frankly said he was good enough to behappy-that he thought human frailty incompatible with happiness, and happiness with human frailty, and that he had no wish sostrong as to turn monk! I asked him if he thought a life of uselessness and of goodnessthe same thing? "I need not be useless, " he said; "I might assist by my counsels. I might be good in a monastery--in the world I cannot! I am notmaster of my feelings: I am run away by passions too potent forcontrol!" This was a most unwelcome species of confidence, but I affectedto treat it as mere talk, and answered it only slightly, tellinghim he spoke from the gloom of the moment. "No, " he answered, "I have tried in vain to conquer them. I havemade vows--resolutions--all in vain! I cannot keep them!" "Is not weakness, " cried I, "sometimes fancied, merely to savethe pain and trouble of exerting fortitude. " "No, it is with me inevitable. I am not formed for success inself-conquest. I resolve--I repent--but I fall! I blame-- Page 81 reproach--I even hate myself--I do everything, in short, yetcannot save myself! Yet do not, " he continued, seeing me shrink, "think worse of me than I deserve: nothing of injustice, ofill-nature, of malignancy--I have nothing of these to reproachmyself with. " "I believe you, " I cried, "and surely, therefore, a generalcircumspection, an immediate watchfulness---" "No, no, no--'twould be all to no purpose. " "'Tis that hopelessness which is most your enemy. If you wouldbut exert your better reason--" "No, madam, no!--'tis a fruitless struggle. I know myself toowell--I can do nothing so right as to retire--to turn monk--hermit. " "I have no respect, " cried I, "for these selfish seclusions. Ican never suppose we were created in the midst of society, inorder to run away to a useless solitude. I have not a doubt butyou may do well, if you will do well. " Some time after he suddenly exclaimed, "Have you--tell me--haveyou, ma'am, never done what you repent?" O "yes!--at times. " "You have?" he cried, eagerly. "O yes, alas!--yet not, I think, very often--for it is not veryoften I have done anything!" "And what is it has saved you?" I really did not know well what to answer him; I could saynothing that would not sound like parade, or implied superiority. I suppose he was afraid himself of the latter ; for, finding mesilent, he was pleased to answer for me. "Prejudice, education, accident!--those have saved you. " "Perhaps so, " cried I. "And one thing more, I acknowledge myselfobliged to, on various occasions--fear. I run no risks that Isee--I run--but it is always away from all danger that Iperceive. " "You do not, however, call that virtue, ma'am--you do not callthat the rule of right?" "No--I dare not--I must be content that it is certainly not therule of wrong. " He began then an harangue upon the universality of depravity andfrailty that I heard with much displeasure; for, it seems to me, those most encourage such general ideas of general worthlessness who most wish to found upon them partialexcuses for their own. Page 82 MISS BURNEY AMONG HER OLD FRIENDS. Jan. 31. --And now I must finish my account of this month by myown assembly at my dear Mrs. Ord's. I passed through the friendly hands of Miss Ord to the mostcordial ones of Mrs. Garrick, (252) who frankly embraced me, saying, "Do I see you, once more, before I die, my tear littlespark? for your father is my flame, all my life, and you are alittle spark of that flame!" She added how much she had wished to visit me at the queen'shouse, when she found I no longer came about the world; but thatshe was too discreet, and I did not dare say "Do come!"unauthorized. Then came Mr. Pepys, and he spoke to me instantly, of the'Streatham Letters. ' He is in agony as to his own fate, but saidthere could be no doubt of my faring well. Not, I assured him, to my own content, if named at all. We were interrupted by Sir Joshua Reynolds. I was quite glad tosee him; and we began chatting with all our old spirit, and he quite raved against my present life of confinement, an theinvisibility it had occasioned, etc. , etc. The approach of Mrs. Porteus stopped this. She is always mostobliging and courteous, and she came to inquire whether now shesaw I really was not wholly immured, there was any chance of amore intimate cultivation of an acquaintance long begun, butstopped in its first progress. I could only make a generalanswer of acknowledgment to her kindness. Her bishop, whom I hadnot seen since his preferment from Chester to London, joined us, and most good-naturedly entered into discourse upon my health. I was next called to Mrs. Montagu, who was behind with no one inkind speeches, and who insisted upon making me a visit at thequeen's house, and would take no denial to my fixing my own time, whenever I was at leisure, and sending her word; and she promisedto put off any and every engagement for that Purpose. I couldmake no other return to such Page 83 civility, but to desire to postpone it till my dear Mr. And Mrs. Locke came to town, and could meet her. Mrs. Boscawen(253) was my next little t`ete-`a-t`ete, but I hadonly begun it when Mr. Cambridge came to my side. "I can't get a word!" cried he, with a most forlorn look, "andyet I came on purpose!" I thanked him, and felt such a realpleasure in his sight, from old and never-varying regard, that Ibegan to listen to him with my usual satisfaction. He related tome a long history of Lavant, where the new-married Mrs. CharlesCambridge is now very unwell: and then he told me many goodthings of his dear and deserving daughter; and I showed him hermuff, which she had worked for me, in embroidery, and we wereproceeding a little in the old way, when I saw Mrs. Pepys leaningforward to hear us; and then Lady Rothes, who also seemed allattention to Mr. Cambridge and his conversation. The sweet Lady Mulgrave came for only a few words, not to takeme, she said, from older claimants; the good and wise Mrs. Carter(254) expressed herself with equal kindness and goodness onour once more meeting; Miss Port, looking beautiful as a littleangel, only once advanced to shake hands, and say, "I can see youanother time, so I won't be unreasonable now. " Mr. Smelt, who came from Kew for this party, made me the samespeech, and no more, and I had time for nothing beyond a "how dodo " with Mr. Langton, his Lady Rothes, (255) Mr. Batt, Mr. Cholmondoley, Lord Mulgrave, Sir Lucas Pepys, and Lady Herries. Then up came Mrs. Chapone, and, after most cordially shakinghands with me, "But I hope, " she cried, "you are not always toappear only as a comet, to be stared at, and then vanish? If youare, let me beg at least to be brushed by your tail, and not hearyou have disappeared before my telescope is ready for looking atyou!" When at last I was able to sit down, after a short conferencewith every one, it was next to Mr. Walpole, (256) who had secured Page 84 me a place by his side ; and with him was my longestconversation, for he was in high spirits, polite, ingenious, entertaining, quaint, and original. But all was so short!--so short!--I was forced to return home sosoon! 'Twas, however, a very great regale to me, and the sight ofso much kindness, preserved so entire after so long an absence, warmed my whole heart with pleasure and satisfaction. My dearestfather brought me home. SOME TRIVIAL COURT INCIDENTS. Friday, Feb. 1. -To-day I had a summons in the morning to Mrs. Schwellenberg, who was very ill; so ill as to fill me withcompassion. She was extremely low-spirited, and spoke to me withquite unwonted kindness of manner, and desired me to accept asedan-chair, which had been Mrs. Haggerdorn's, and now devolvedto her, saying, I might as well have it while she lived as whenshe was dead, which would soon happen. I thanked her, and wished her, I am sure very sincerely, better. Nor do I doubt her again recovering, as I have frequently seenher much worse. True, she must die at last, but who must not? Feb. 2. -The king always makes himself much diversion with ColonelGoldsworthy, whose dryness of humour and pretended servility ofsubmission, extremely entertain him. He now attacked him uponthe enormous height of his collar, which through some mistake ofhis tailor, exceeded even the extremity of fashion. And whilethe king, who was examining and pulling it about, had his back tous, Colonel Wellbred had the malice to whisper me, "Miss Burney, I do assure you it is nothing to what it was; he has had twoinches cut off since morning! Fortunately, as Colonel Wellbred stood next me, this was notheard for the king would not easily have forgotten. He soonafter went away, but gave no summons to his gentlemen. And now Colonel Wellbred gave me another proof of hisextraordinary powers of seeing. You now know, my dear friends, that in the king's presence everybody retreats back, as far asthey can go, to leave him the room to himself. In all this, through the disposition of the chairs, I was placed so muchbehind Colonel Wellbred as to conclude myself out of his sight;but the moment the king retired, he said, as Page 85 we all dropped on Our seats, "Everybody is tired--Miss Burney themost--for she has stood the stillest. Miss Planta has leant onher chair, Colonel Goldsworthy against the wall, myselfoccasionally on the screen, but Miss Burney has stood perfectlystill--I perceived that without looking. " 'Tis, indeed, to us standers, an amazing addition to fatigue tokeep still. We returned to town next day. In the morning I had had a verydisagreeable, though merely foolish, embarrassment. Detained, bythe calling in of a poor woman about a subscription, fromdressing myself, I was forced to run to the queen, at hersummons, without any cap. She smiled, but said nothing. Indeed, she is all indulgence in those points of externals, which ratheraugments than diminishes my desire of showing apparent as well asmy feeling of internal respect but just as I had assisted herwith her peignoir, Lady Effingham was admitted, and the momentshe sat down, and the hair-dresser began his office, a pageannounced the Duke of York, who instantly followed his name. I would have given the world to have run away, but the commondoor of entrance and exit was locked, unfortunately, on accountof the coldness of the day; and there was none to pass, but thatby which his royal highness entered, and was standing. I wasforced. Therefore, to remain, and wait for dismission. Yet I was pleased, too, by the sight of his affectionate mannerto his royal mother. He flew to take and kiss her hand, but shegave him her cheek; and then he began a conversation with her, soopen and so gay, that he seemed talking to the most intimateassociate. His subject was Lady Augusta Campbell's elopement from. Themasquerade. The Duchess of Ancaster had received masks at herhouse on Monday, and sent tickets to all the queen's household. I, amongst the rest, had one; but it was impossible I could bespared at such an hour, though the queen told me that she hadthought of my going, but could not manage it, as Mrs. Schwellenberg was so ill. Miss Planta went, and I had the entireequipment of her. I started the Project of dressing her at Mrs. Delany's, in all the most antique and old-fashioned things wecould borrow; and this was Put very happily in execution, for shewas, I have heard, one of the best and most grotesque figures inthe room. (239) Henry William Bunbury, the well-known caricaturist. He wasconnected by marriage with Colonel Gwynn, having married, in1771, Catherine, the "Little Comedy, " sister of the "JessamyBride. "-ED. (240) i. E. , of the Play which was to be read by Mrs. Siddons. See P- 55. -ED. (241) This excellent comedy was completed by Colley Cibber, froman unfinished play of Sir John Vanbrugh's. -ED. (242) See note 210, ante, vol. 1, P. 370. -ED. (243) Mr. Anthony Shepherd, Plumian Professor of Astronomy atCambridge. We meet with him occasionally in the "Early Diary:""dullness itself" Fanny once calls him (in 1774). -ED. (244) Fanny's maid. -ED. (245) Susan Phillips and the Lockes had stayed at Windsor fromthe 10th to the 17th of September. -ED. (246) This magnificent panegyric relates to a young amateur, William Locke, the son of Fanny's friends, Mr. And Mrs. Locke. But there was more than a little of the amateur about Mr. Bunbury himself. His works bear no comparison with those of thegreat masters of caricatured Rowlandson and Gulray. -ED. (247) Fanny's man-servant, a Swiss. -ED. (248) Mr. Fisher was a canon at Windsor, and an amateurlandscape-painter. He had recently married. -ED. (249) "Letters to and from Dr. Johnson, " published by Mrs. Piozziin 1788. -ED. (250) Thrale's only son died, a child, in March, 1776. --ED. (251) A farce, adapted from Bickerstaff's opera, "Love in theCity. "-ED. (252) Eva Maria Feigel, a Viennese dancer, whom Garrick marriedin 1749. Fanny writes of her in 1771: "Mrs. Garrick is the mostattentively polite and perfectly well-bred woman in the world;her speech is all softness; her manners all elegance; her smilesall sweetness. There is something so peculiarly graceful in hermotion, and pleasing in her address, that the most trifling wordshave weight and power, when spoken by her, to oblige and evendelight. " ("Early Diary, " vol. I. P. 111. ) She died in 1822;her husband in 1779. -ED. (253) The Hon. Mrs. Boscawen, widow of Admiral Boscawen. -ED. (254) Elizabeth Carter, the celebrated translator of Epictetus. She was now in her seventieth year, and had been for many yearsan esteemed friend of Dr. Johnson. She died in 1806. -ED. , ' (255) Mr. Langton's wife was the Countess dowager of Rothes, widow of the eighth earl. Lady Jane Leslie, who married SirLucas Pepys, the physician, also enjoyed, in her own right, thetitle of Countess of Rothes. -ED. (256) Horace Walpole. -E D. Page 86 SECTION 12. (1788. ) THE TRIAL OF WARREN HASTINGS. [Probably few events in the history of England are more familiarto the general reader than the trial of Warren Hastings. Ifnowhere else, at least in the best known and, perhaps, mostbrilliant of Macaulay's essays every one has read of the careerof that extraordinary man, and of the long contest in WestminsterHall, from which he came forth acquitted, after an ordeal ofseven years' duration. We shall, accordingly, confine ourremarks upon this subject within the narrowest limits consistentwith intelligibility: Fanny's experiences of the trial, recordedin the following pages, rendering some review of the proceedingswhich caused it here indispensable. Warren Hastings was a lad of seventeen when, in 1750, he wasfirst sent out to India as a writer in the East India Company'sservice. His abilities attracted the notice of Clive, and, afterthe downfall of the Nawab Suraj-u-Dowlah, Hastings was chosen torepresent the Company at the Court of Mir Jafir, the new Nawab ofBengal. In 1761 he was appointed Member of Council at Calcutta, and he returned to England in 1765, unknown as yet to fame, butwith an excellent reputation both for efficiency and integrity. He left Bengal in a state of anarchy. The actual power was inthe possession of a trading company, whose objects were at onceto fill their coffers, and to avoid unnecessary politicalcomplications. The show of authority was invested in a Nawab whowas a mere puppet in the hands of the English company. Disorderwas rampant throughout the provinces, and the unhappy Hindoos, unprotected by their native princes, were left a helpless prey tothe rapacity of their foreign tyrants. At a time when to enrich himself with the plunder of the nativeswas the aim of every servant of the East India Company, it ismuch to the honour of Hastings that he returned home acomparatively poor man. In England he indulged his taste forliterary society, busied himself with a scheme for introducing at Page 87 oxford the study of the Persian language and literature, and madethe acquaintance of Dr. Johnson. But generosity and imprudencetogether soon reduced his small means. He applied to theDirectors of the Company for employment, was appointed to a seaton the Council at Madras, and made his second voyage to India in1769. Among his fellow-passengers on board the "Duke of Grafton"was Madame Imhoff, whom he afterwards married. At Madras Hastings managed the export business of the Companywith conspicuous success, and so completely to the satisfactionof the Directors, that, two years later, he was promoted to thegovernorship of Bengal, and sent to exercise his administrativeability and genius for reform -%N here they were then 'greatlyneeded-at Calcutta. With this appointment his historic careermay be said to commence. He found himself at the outset in asituation of extreme difficulty. He was required to establishsomething- resembling a stable government in place of theprevailing anarchy, and, above all things, with disorderedfinances, to satisfy the expectations of his' employers byconstant remittances of money. Both these tasks he accomplished, but the difficulties in the way of the latter led him to thecommission of those acts for which he was afterwards denounced byhis enemies as a monster of injustice and barbarity. Hastings's conduct with respect to the Great Mogul has beensketched by Macaulay in words which imply a reprehension inreality undeserved. Little remained at this time of themagnificent empire of Aurungzebe beyond a title and a palace atDelhi. In 1765 Lord Clive had ceded to the titular master of theMogul empire the districts of Corah and Allahabad, lying to thesouth of Oude, and westwards of Benares. The cession had beenmade in pursuance of the same policy which Hastings afterwardsfollowed; that, namely, of sheltering the British possessionsbehind a barrier of friendly states, which should be sufficientlystrong to withstand the incursions of their hostile neighbours, and particularly of the Mahrattas, the most warlike and dreadedof the native powers. But Clive's purpose had been completelyfrustrated; for the Mogul, far from shielding the English, hadnot been able to hold his own against the Mahrattas, to whom hehad actually ceded the very territories made over to him by theCompany. Under these circumstances the English authorities canhardly be blamed for causing their troops to re-occupy thedistricts in question, nor can it fairly be imputed as a crime toHastings that in September, 1773, he concluded with the Vizier ofOude the treaty of Benares, by which he sold Allahabad and Corahto that friendly potentate for about half a million sterling. But the next act of foreign policy on the part of the Governor ofBengal--his share in the subjugation of the Rohillas--does notadmit of so favourable an interpretation. The Rohillas occupiedterritory lying under the southern slopes of the Himalayas, tothe north-west of Oude. The dominant race in Rohilcund was of Page 88 Afghan origin, although the majority of the population wasHindoo. Of the rulers of Rohilcund Hastings himself wrote, interms which we may accept as accurate, "They are a tribe ofAfghans or Pathans, freebooters who conquered the country aboutsixty years ago, and have ever since lived upon the fruits of it, without contributing either to its cultivation or manufactures, or even mixing with the native inhabitants. "(257) In 1772, the Rohillas, hard pressed by their foes, the Mahrattas, sought the assistance of the Vizier of Oude, Shuja-u-Dowlah, towhom they agreed to pay, in return for his aid, a large sum ofmoney. This agreement was signed in the presence of an Englishgeneral, and an English brigade accompanied the vizier's army, which co-operated with the Rohilla forces, and obliged theMahrattas to withdraw. But when Shula-u-Dowlah demanded hispromised hire, he received from the Rohillas plenty of excusesbut no money. Hereupon he resolved to annex Rohilcund to his owndominions, and, to ensure success, he concerted measures withHastings, who, willing at once to strengthen a friendly power andto put money into his own exchequer, placed an English brigade atthe vizier's disposal for a consideration Of 400, 000 pounds. Inthe spring of 1774 the invasion took place. The desperatebravery of the Rohillas was of no avail against Englishdiscipline, and the country was so reduced to submission. Macaulay's stirring account of the barbarities practised by theinvaders has been proved to be greatly exaggerated. Disorders, however, there were: the people were plundered, and some of thevillages were burnt by the vizier's troops. Many of the Rohillafamilies were exiled, but the Hindoo inhabitants of Rohilcundwere left to till their fields as before, and were probably notgreatly affected by their change of master. Hastings's conduct in this affair is, from the most favourablepoint of view, rather to be excused than applauded. It may havebeen politic under the circumstances, but it was hardly inaccordance with a high standard of morality to let out on hire anEnglish force for the subjugation of a people who, whatevergrounds of complaint the Vizier of Oude might have had againstthem, had certainly given no provocation whatsoever to theEnglish Government. As to the plea which has been put forward inhis favour, that the Rohillas were merely the conquerors, and notthe original owners of Rohilcund, it is sufficiently answered, byMacaulay's query, "What were the English themselves?" In 1773 Lord North's "Regulating Act" introduced considerablechanges in the constitution of the Indian government, and markedthe first step in the direction of a transfer of the control overIndian affairs from the Company to the Crown. By this act "thegovernorship of Bengal, Bahar, and Orissa was vested in theGovernor-General, with four Councillors, having authority over Page 89 Madras and Bombay ; and all correspondence relating to civilgovernment or military affairs was to be laid by the Directors ofthe Company in London before his -Majesty's Ministers, who Coulddisapprove or cancel any rules or orders. A Supreme Court ofjudicature, appointed by the Crown, was established inCalcutta. "(258) The Governor-General was appointed for a term offive years, and the first Governor-General was Hastings. Of thefour councillors with whom he was associated, three were sent outfrom England to take their places at the board, and landed atCalcutta, together with the judges of the Supreme Court, inOctober, 1771. Indisputably the ablest, and, as it proved, historically the most noteworthy of these three, was PhilipFrancis, the supposed author of "Junius's Letters. " Even before the council commenced its duties dissensions arose. The newcomers, Francis, Clavering, and Monson, were in constantopposition to the Governor-General. Indeed, the hostilitybetween Hastings and Francis rose by degrees to such a heightthat, some years later, they met in a duel, in which Francis wasseverely wounded. For the present, however, the opponents ofHastings formed a majority on the council, and his authority wasin eclipse. His ill-wishers in the country began to bestirthemselves, and a scandalous and, there is no doubt, utterlyuntrue charge of accepting bribes was brought against him by anold enemy, the Maharajah Nuncomar. Hastings replied byprosecuting Nuncomar and his allies for conspiracy. The accusedwere admitted to bail, but a little later Nuncomar was arrestedon a charge of having forged a bond some years previously, triedbefore an English jury, condemned to death, and hanged, August 5, 1775, his application for leave to appeal having been rejected bythe Chief justice, Sir Elijah Impey. Hastings solemnly declaredhis innocence of any share in this transaction, nor is there anyevidence directly implicating him. On the other hand, it must heremembered that Nuncomar had preferred a most serious chargeagainst Hastings; that the majority on the council were only tooready to listen to any charge, well or ill founded, against theGovernor-General; and that Nuncomar's triumph would, in allprobability, have meant Hastings's ruin. Even Mr. Forrest admitsthat "it is extremely probable, as Francis stated, that ifNuncomar had never stood forth in politics, his other offenceswould not have hurt him. "(259) Macaulay comments upon thescandal of this stringent enforcement Of the English law againstforgery under circumstances so peculiar, and in a country wherethe English law was totally unknown. (260) That Nuncomar wasfairly tried and convicted Page 90 in the ordinary course of law is now beyond doubt, but we stillhold that it was Impey's clear duty to respite his prisoner. That he did not do so is a fact which, beyond all others, gavecolour to the assertion of Hastings's enemies, that the executionof Nuncomar was the result of a secret understanding between theGovernor-General of Bengal and the Chief justice of the SupremeCourt. But, however brought about, the death of Nuncomar was tothe opponents of Hastings a blow from which they never recovered. The death of Monson, in September, 1776, and that of Clavering, ayear later, placed him in a majority on the council ; hisauthority was more undisputed than ever ; and at the expirationof his term he was re-appointed Governor-General. During the years 1780 and 1781 British rule in India passedthrough the most dangerous crisis that had befallen it since thedays of Clive. A formidable confederacy had been formed betweenthe Nizam, the Mahrattas, and the famous Hyder Ali, Sultan ofMysore, with the object of crushing their common enemy, theEnglish. The hostility of these powerful states had beenprovoked by the blundering and bad faith of the governments ofBombay and Madras, which had made, and broken, treaties with eachof them in turn. "As to the Mahrattas, " to quote the words ofBurke, "they had so many cross treaties with the states generalof that nation, and with each of the chiefs, that it wasnotorious that no one of these agreements could be kept withoutgrossly violating the rest. "(261) The war in which the BombayGovernment had engaged with the Mahrattas had been asunsuccessful in its prosecution as it was impolitic in itscommencement, until, early in 1780, a force under General Goddardwas dispatched from Bengal to co-operate with the Bombay troops. Goddard's arrival turned the tide of events. The province ofGujerat was reduced, the Mahratta chiefs, Sindia and Holkar, weredefeated, and everything portended a favourable termination ofthe war, when the whole face of affairs was changed by news fromthe south. Hyder Ali, the most able and warlike of the native princes, sweptdown upon the Carnatic in July, 1780, at the head of adisciplined army of nearly 100, 000 men. He was now an old man, but age had not broken his vigour. He rapidly overran thecountry; an English force, under Colonel Baillie, which opposedhim, was cut to pieces, and Madras itself was threatened. Theprompt measures adopted by Hastings on this occasion saved thecolony. Reinforcements were hurried to Madras; the veteran, SirEyre Coote, was entrusted with the command of the army; and thetriumphant Page 91 career of Hyder Ali was checked by the victory of Porto Novo, July 1st, 1781. The end of the war, however, was yet far off. Peace was concluded with the Mahrattas, on terms honourable tothem, in 1782, but in the south the struggle was still maintainedby Hyder Ali and his French allies, and after Hyder Ali's death, in December of that year, by his son Tippoo; nor was it broughtto a termination until after the general peace Of 1783. To support the financial strain of these wars Hastings hadrecourse to measures which, with the colouring given to them byhis enemies, gave subsequent rise to two of the heaviest chargesbrought forward by the managers of his impeachment. His firstvictim was Cheyt Sing, the Rajah of Benares, a tributary of theEnglish Government. Cheyt Sing had been formerly a vassal of theVizier of Oude, and when, in 1775, the vizier transferred hissovereign rights over Benares to the English, the BengalGovernment confirmed the possession of the city and itsdependencies to Cheyt Sing and his heirs for ever, stipulatingonly for the payment of an annual tribute, and undertaking thatthe regular payment of this tribute should acquit the Rajah offurther obligations. It was afterwards contended on behalf ofHastings that this undertaking did not annul the right of thesuperior power to call upon its vassal for extraordinary aid onextraordinary occasions, and this view was upheld by Pitt. Hastings began operations in 1778 by demanding of the Rajah, inaddition to his settled tribute, a large contribution towards thewar expenses. The sum was paid, but similar requisitions in thefollowing years were met with procrastination or evasion, and ademand that the Rajah should furnish a contingent of cavalry wasnot complied with. This conduct on the part of Cheyt Singappeared to the Governor-General and his Council "to requireearly punishment, and, as his wealth was great and the Company'sexigencies pressing, " in 1781 a fine of fifty lakhs, of rupees(500, 000 pounds) was laid upon the unlucky Rajah; Hastingshimself proceeding to Benares, with a small escort, to enforcepayment. Cheyt Sing received his unwelcome visitor with duerespect, but with ambiguous answers, and Hastings, mostimprudently, gave the order for the Rajah's arrest. The Rajahsubmitted, but his troops and the population of Benares rose tothe rescue : a portion of Hastings's little force was massacred, the Rajah regained his liberty, and the Governor-General foundsafety only in flight. The insurrection rapidly spread to thecountry around, and assumed dangerous proportions, but thepromptitude and vigour of-Hastings soon restored order. CheytSing was deposed, compelled to flee his country, his estates wereconfiscated, and a new Rajah of Benares was appointed in hisstead. The charge subsequently preferred against Hastings in connectionwith this affair turned upon the question whether Cheyt Sing Was, as the prosecutors affirmed, a sovereign prince who owed no dutyto the Bengal government beyond the payment (which he Page 92 had regularly performed) of a fixed annual tribute; or asHastings contended, a mere feudal vassal, bound to furnish aidwhen called upon by his over-lord. Pitt, as we have said, tookthe latter view, yet he gave his support to the charge on theground that the fine imposed upon the Rajah of Benares wasexcessive. , Upon the whole, it would appear that Hastings wasacting within his rights in demanding an extraordinary subsidyfrom the Rajah but the enormous amount of the fine, and theharshness and in' dignity with which Cheyt Sing was treated, point to a determination on the part of the Governor-General toruin a subject prince, with whom, moreover, it was known he hadpersonal grounds of pique. The deposition of Cheyt Sing was followed by an act on which wasafterwards founded the most sensational of all the chargesbrought against Warren Hastings. Shuja-u-Dowlah, the NawabVizier of Oude, to whom Hastings had sold the Rohillas, died in1775, and was succeeded by his son Asaph-u-Dowlah. At the timeof his death Shuja-u-Dowlah was deeply in debt, both to his ownarmy and to the Bengal Government. The treasure which he leftwas estimated at two millions sterling, but this vast sum ofmoney and certain rich estates were appropriated by his motherand widow, the begums, or princesses, of Oude, under the pretenceof a will which may possibly have existed, but was certainlynever Produced. With this wealth at their disposal the begumsenjoyed a practical independence of the new vizier, who was nomatch in energy and resolution for his mother and grandmother. Asmall portion, however, of the money was paid over to the vizier, on the understanding, guaranteed by the Bengal Government, thatthe begums should be left in undisturbed enjoyment of theremainder of their possessions. Hastings believed, and, it wouldseem, on good grounds, that the younger begum had busied herselfactively in fomenting the insurrection which broke out upon thearrest of Cheyt Sing at Benares. He conceived a plan by which hemight at once punish the rebellious princesses, and secure forthe exchequer at Calcutta the arrears of debt due from theGovernment of Oude. He withdrew the guarantee, and urged theVizier to seize upon the estates possessed by the begums. Asaph-u-Dowlah came willingly into the arrangement, but, when itbecame necessary to act, his heart failed him. Hastings, however, was not to be trifled with. English troops wereemployed: the begums were closely confined in their palace atFyzabad; and, to the lasting disgrace of Hastings, their personalattendants were starved and even tortured, until they consentedto surrender their money and estates. Hastings's conduct inwithdrawing the guarantee was not without justification ; themeans which he suffered to be employed in carrying out hispurpose, and for the employment of which he must be heldprimarily responsible, were utterly indefensible. Page 93 Long before his return to England, the Governor-General'sproceedings had engaged no little share of public attention inthis country. In Parliament the attack was led by Burke and Fox; Hastings's chief defender was one Major Scott, an Indian officerwhom he had sent over to England as his agent in 1780, and whomaintained his patron's cause by voice and pen, in Parliament andin the press, with far more energy than discretion. In 1784 Mrs. Hastings arrived in England, bringing home with her, saysWraxall, "about 40, 000 pounds, acquired without her husband'sprivity or approval;" and a year later her husband followed her, havingresigned his Governor-Generalship. The fortune which he nowpossessed was moderate, his opportunities considered, and hadbeen honourably acquired; for his motives had never beenmercenary, and the money which he had wrung from Indian princeshad invariably been applied to the service of the Company or thenecessities of his administration. He was received with honourby the Directors and with favour by the Court. There was talk ofa peerage for him, and he believed himself not only beyonddanger, but in the direct road to reward and distinction. Butall this was the calm which preceded the storm. The enemies ofHastings were active and bitterly in earnest, and they werereceiving invaluable assistance from his old opponent in council, Francis, who had returned to England in 1781. In April, 1786, the charges, drawn up by Burke, were laid on the table of theHouse of Commons. The first charge, respecting the Rohilla war, was thrown out by the House, ministers siding with the accused. But on the second charge, relating to the Rajah of Benares, thePrime Minister, Pitt, declared against Hastings on the groundthat, although the Governor-General had the right to impose afine upon his vassal, the amount of the fine was excessive, andthe motion was affirmed by a majority of forty votes. Early thenext session, in February, 1787, Sheridan moved the third charge, touching the begums of Oude, in a speech which was pronounced themost brilliant ever delivered in the House of Commons. Themajority against Hastings was on this occasion increased to onehundred and seven, Pitt, as before, supporting the motion. Othercharges of oppression and corruption were then gone into andaffirmed, and in May, by order of the House, Burke formallyimpeached Warren Hastings of high crimes and misdemeanours at thebar of the House of Lords. The accused was admitted to bail, himself in 20, 000 pounds, and two sureties in 10, 000 pounds each. The Committee of Management, elected by the Commons to conductthe impeachment, included Burke and Fox, Sheridan and Windham, and the trial was opened before the Lords, in Westminster Hall, on the 13th of February, 1788. After two days occupied in reading the charges and thedefendant's replies, Burke arose and opened the case for theprosecution in a speech full of eloquent exaggeration andhonourable Page 94 zeal in the cause of an oppressed people. He spoke during days, after which the Benares charge was brought forward by Fox andGrey (afterwards Earl Grey), the youngest of the managers, andthat relating to the Begums by Adam and Sheridan. The court thenadjourned to the next session. But it is unnecessary here tofollow the details of this famous trial which "dragged its slowlength along" for seven years. In the spring of 1795 Hastingswas acquitted, by a large majority, on all counts; and, althoughhis conduct had, in some particulars, been far from faultless, and the sincerity of his principal accusers was beyond question, his acquittal must be owned as just as it was honourable, especially when we remember that his action had been entirelyuninfluenced by considerations of private advantage, that he hadendured for so many anxious years the burden of an impeachment, that he was ruined in fortune by the expenses of the trial, andthat his great services to his country had been left whollywithout reward. His poverty, however, was relieved by the Directors of the EastIndia Company, who bestowed upon him a pension of 4, 000 a year, and he passed the remainder of his long life in honourableretirement. He died in 1818, his wife, to whom he was alwaysdevotedly attached, surviving him by a few Years. The following section contains little besides the account ofFanny's visits to Westminster Hall during the early days of thetrial. One other event, however, it relates, of sorrowfulsignificance to the diarist. By the death of Mrs. Delany, on the11th of April, 17; she lost at once a dear and venerated friend, and her only occasional refuge from the odious tyranny of Courtroutine. -ED. ] Page 95 WESTMINSTER HALL AT THE OPENING OF THE HASTINGS TRIAL. February 13th. O what an interesting transaction does this day open! a day, indeed, of strong emotion to me, though all upon matters foreignto any immediate concern of my own--if anything may be calledforeign that deeply interests us, merely because it is notpersonal. The trial, so long impending, of Mr. Hastings, opened to-day. The queen yesterday asked me if I wished to be present at thebeginning, or had rather take another day. I was greatly obligedby her condescension, and preferred the opening. I thought itwould give me a general view of the court, and the manner ofproceeding, and that I might read hereafter the speeches andevidence. She then told me she had six tickets from Sir PeterBurrell, the grand chamberlain, for every day; that three werefor his box, and three for his gallery. She asked me who I wouldgo with, and promised me a box-ticket not only for myself, but mycompanion. Nor was this consideration all she showed me for sheadded, that as I might naturally wish for my father, she wouldhave me send him my other ticket. I thanked her very gratefully, and after dinner went to St. Martin's-street; but all there was embarrassing: my father couldnot go; he was averse to be present at the trial, and he was alittle lame from a fall. In the end I sent an express toHammersmith, to desire Charles(262) to come to me the nextmorning by eight o'clock. I was very sorry not to have myfather, as he had been named by the queen; but I was glad to haveCharles. I told her majesty at night the step I had ventured to take, andshe was perfectly content with it. "But I must trouble you, " shesaid, "with Miss Gomme, who has no other way to go. " This morning the queen dispensed with all attendance from meafter her first dressing, that I might haste away. Mrs. Schwellenberg was fortunately well enough to take the whole duty, and the sweet queen not only hurried me off, but sent me somecakes from her own breakfast-table, that I might Page 96 carry them, in my pocket, lest I should have no time for eatingbefore I went. Charles was not in time, but we all did well in the end We got toWestminster Hall between nine and ten O'clock; and, as I know mydear Susan, like my-self, was never at a trial, I willgive some account of the place and arrangements'; and whether thedescription be new to her or old, my partial Fredy will not blameit. The grand chamberlain's box Is in the centre of the upper end ofthe Hall: there we sat, Miss Gomme and myself, immediately behindthe chair placed for Sir Peter Burrell. To the left, on the samelevel, were the green benches for the House of Commons, whichoccupied a third of the upper end of the Hall, and the whole ofthe left side: to the right of us, on the same level, was thegrand chamberlain's gallery. The right side of the Hall, opposite to the green benches for thecommons, was appropriated to the peeresses and peers' daughters. The bottom of the Hall contained the royal family's box and thelord high steward's, above which was a large gallery appointedfor receiving company with peers' tickets. A gallery also was run along the left side of the Hall, above thegreen benches, which is called the Duke of Newcastle's box, thecentre of which was railed off into a separate apartment for thereception of the queen and four eldest princesses, who were thenincog. , not choosing to appear in state, and in their own box. Along the right side of the Hall ran another gallery, over theseats of the peeresses, and this was divided into boxes forvarious people--the lord chamberlain, (not the greatchamberlain, ) the surveyor, architect, etc. So much for all the raised buildings ; now for the disposition ofthe Hall itself, or ground. In the middle was placed a largetable, and at the head of it the seat for the chancellor, andround it seats for the judges, the masters in chancery, theclerks, and all who belonged to the law; the upper end, and theright side of the room, was allotted to the peers in their robes;the left side to the bishops and archbishops. Immediately below the great chamberlain's box was the placeallotted for the prisoner. On his right side was a box for hisown counsel, on his left the box for the managers, or committee, for the prosecution; and these three most important of all thedivisions in the Hall were all directly adjoining to where I wasseated. Almost the moment I entered I was spoken to by a lady I Page 97 did not recollect, but found afterwards to be Lady Claremont andthis proved very agreeable, for she took Sir Peter's place: andsaid she would occupy it till he claimed it; and then, when justbefore me, she named to me all the order of the buildings, andall the company, pointing out every distinguished person, andmost obligingly desiring me to ask her any questions I wanted tohave solved, as she knew, she said, "all those creatures thatfilled the green benches, looking so little like gentlemen, andso much like hair-dressers, " These were the Commons. In truth, she did the honours of the Hall to me with as much good natureand good breeding as if I had been a foreigner of distinction, towhom she had dedicated her time and attention. My acquaintancewith her had been made formerly at Mrs. Vesey's. The business did not begin till near twelve o'clock. The openingto the whole then took place, by the entrance of the managers ofthe prosecution; all the company were already long in their boxesor galleries. I shuddered, and drew Involuntarily back, when, asthe doors were flung open, I saw Mr. Burke, as head of thecommittee, make his solemn entry. He held a scroll in his hand, and walked alone, his brow knit with corroding care and deeplabouring thought, ---a brow how different to that which hadproved so alluring to my warmest admiration when first I met him!so highly as he had been my favourite, so captivating as I hadfound his manners; and conversation in our first acquaintance, and so much as I had owed to his zeal and kindness to me and myaffairs in its progress! How did I grieve to behold him now thecruel prosecutor (such to me he appeared) of an injured andinnocent man! Mr. Fox followed next, Mr. Sheridan, Mr. Windham, Messrs. Anstruther, Grey, Adam, Michael Angelo Taylor, Pelham, ColonelNorth, Mr. Frederick Montagu, Sir Gilbert Elliot, GeneralBurgoyne, Dudley Long, etc. They were all named over to me byLady Claremont, or I should not have recollected even those of myacquaintance, from the shortness of my sight, When the committee box was filled the House of Commons at largetook their seats on their green benches, which stretched, as Ihave said, along the whole left side of the Hall, and, taking ina third of the upper end, joined to the great Chamberlain's box, from which nothing separated them but a Partition of about twofeet in height. Then began the procession, the clerks entering first, then Page 98 the lawyers according to their rank, and the peers, bishops, andofficers, all in their coronation robes; concluding with theprinces of the blood, --Prince William, son to the Duke ofGloucester, coming first, then the Dukes of Cumberland, Gloucester, and York, then the Prince of Wales; and the wholeending by the chancellor, with his train borne. They then alltook their seats. WARREN HASTINGS APPEARS AT THE BAR. A sergeant-at- arms arose, and commanded silence in court, onpain of imprisonment. Then some other officer, in a loud voice, called out, as well as I can recollect, words to this purpose:--"Warren Hastings, esquire, come forth! Answer to the chargesbrought against you; save your bail, or forfeit yourrecognizance. " Indeed I trembled at these words, and hardly Couldkeep my place when I found Mr. Hastings was being brought to thebar. He came forth from some place immediately under the greatchamberlain's box, and was preceded by Sir Francis Molyneux, gentleman-usher of the black rod; and at each side of him walkedhis bail, Messrs. Sulivan and Sumner. The moment he came in sight, which was not for full ten minutesafter his awful summons, he made a low bow to the chancellor andcourt facing him. I saw not his face, as he was directly underme. He moved on slowly, and, I think, supported between his twobails, to the opening of his own box; there, lower still, hebowed again; and then, advancing to the bar, he leant his handsupon it, and dropped on his knees; but a voice in the same minuteproclaiming he had leave to rise, he stood up almostinstantaneously, and a third time, profoundly bowed to the court. What an awful moment this for such a man!--a man fallen from suchheight of power to a situation so humiliating--from the almostunlimited command of so large a part of the eastern World to becast at the feet of his enemies, of the great tribunal of hiscountry, and of the nation at large, assembled thus in a body totry and to judge him! Could even his prosecutors at that momentlook on--and not shudder at least, if they did not blush? The crier, I think it was, made, in a loud and hollow voice, apublic proclamation, "That Warren Hastings, esquire, lategovernor-general of Bengal, was now on his trial for high Page 99 crimes and misdemeanours, with which he was charged by thecommons of Great Britain; and that all persons whatsoever who hadaught to allege against him were now to stand forth. " A general silence followed, and the chancellor, Lord Thurlow, nowmade his speech. I will give it you to the best of my power frommemory; the newspapers have printed it far less accurately than Ihave retained it, though I am by no means exact or secure. THE LORD CHANCELLOR'S SPEECH. Warren Hastings, you are now brought into this court to answer tothe charge, brought against you by the knights, esquires, burgesses, and commons of Great Britain--charges now standingonly as allegations, by them to be legally proved, or by you tobe disproved. Bring forth your answer and defence, with thatseriousness, respect, and truth, due to accusers so respectable. Time has been allowed you for preparation, proportioned to theintricacies in which the transactions are involved, and to theremote distances whence your documents may have been searched andrequired. You will be allowed bail, for the better forwardingyour defence, and-whatever you can require will still be yours, of time, witnesses, and all things else you may hold necessary. This is not granted you as any indulgence: it is entirely yourdue: it is the privilege which every British subject has a rightto claim, and which is due to every one who is brought beforethis high tribunal. " This speech, uttered in a calm, equal, solemn manner, and in avoice mellow and penetrating, with eyes keen and black, yetsoftened into some degree of tenderness while fastened full uponthe prisoner--this speech, its occasion, its portent, and itsobject, had an effect upon every hearer of producing the mostrespectful attention, and, out of the committee box at least, thestrongest emotions in the cause of Mr. Hastings. Again Mr. Hastings made the lowest reverence to the court, and, leaningover the bar answered, with much agitation, through evidentefforts to suppress it, "My lords --Impressed--deeply impressed--I come before your lordships, equally confident in my ownintegrity, and in the justice of the court before which I am toclear it. " "Impressed" and "deeply impressed, " too, was my mind, by thisshort yet comprehensive speech, and all my best wishes Page 100 for his clearance and redress rose warmer than ever in my heart. THE READING OF THE CHARGES COMMENCED. A general silence again ensued, and then one of the lawyersopened the cause. He began by reading from an immense roll ofparchment the general charges against Mr. Hastings, but he readin so monotonous a chant that nothing more could I hear orunderstand than now and then the name of Warren Hastings. During this reading, to which I vainly lent all my attention, Mr. Hastings, finding it, I presume, equally impossible to hear aword, began to cast his eyes around the house, and having taken asurvey of all in front and at the sides, he turned about andlooked up; pale looked his face--pale, ill, and altered. I wasmuch affected by the sight of that dreadful harass which was written on his countenance. Had I looked at him withoutrestraint, it could not have been without tears. I felt shocked, too, shocked and ashamed, to be seen by him in that place. I hadwished to be present from an earnest interest in the business, joined to a firm confidence in his powers of defence; but hiseyes were not those I wished to meet in Westminster Hall. Icalled upon Miss Gomme and Charles to assist me in lookinganother way, and in conversing with me as I turned aside, and Ikept as much aloof as possible till he had taken his survey, andplaced himself again in front. >From this time, however, he frequently looked round, and I wassoon without a doubt that he must see me. . . . In a few minutesmore, while this reading was still continued, I perceived SirJoshua Reynolds in the midst of the committee. He, at the samemoment, saw me also, and not only bowed, but smiled and noddedwith his usual good-humour and intimacy, making at the same time a sign to his ear, by which Iunderstood he had no trumpet; whether he had forgotten or lost itI know not. I would rather have answered all this dumb show anywhere else, asmy last ambition was that of being noticed from such a box. Iagain entreated aid in turning away; but Miss Gomme, who is afriend of Sir Gilbert Elliot, one of the managers and anill-wisher, for his sake, to the opposite cause, would onlylaugh, and ask why I should not be owned by them. I did not, however, like it, but had no choice from my near Page 101 situation; and in a few seconds I had again a bow, and aprofound one, and again very ridiculously I was obliged toinquire of Lady Claremont who my own acquaintance might be. Mr. Richard Burke, senior, she answered. He is a brother of thegreat--great in defiance of all drawbacks--Edmund Burke. Another lawyer now arose, and read so exactly in the same manner, that it was utterly impossible to discover even whether it was acharge or an answer. Such reading as this, you may well suppose, set every body pretty much at their ease and but for the interestI took in looking from time to time at Mr. Hastings, and watchinghis countenance, I might as well have been away. He seemedcomposed after the first half-hour, and calm; but he looked witha species of indignant contempt towards his accusers, that couldnot, I think, have been worn had his defence been doubtful. Manythere are who fear for him; for me, I own myself wholly confidentin his acquittal. AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE. Soon after, a voice just by my side, from the green benches, said, "Will Miss Burney allow me to renew my acquaintance withher?" I turned about and saw Mr. Crutchley. All Streatham rose to my mind at sight of him. I have neverbeheld him since the Streatham society was abolished. We enteredinstantly upon the subject of that family, a Subject ever to methe most Interesting. He also had never seen poor Mrs. Thralesince her return to England; but he joined with me very earnestlyin agreeing that, since so unhappy a step was now past recall, it became the duty, however painful a one, of the daughters, to support, not cast off and contemn, one whowas now as much their mother as when she still bore their ownname. "But how, " cried he, "do you stand the fiery trial of thisStreatham book that is coming upon us?" I acknowledged myself very uneasy about it, and he assured me allwho had ever been at Streatham were in fright and consternation. We talked all these matters over more at length, till I wascalled away by an "How d'ye do, Miss Burney?" from the committeebox! And then I saw young Mr. Burke, who had jumped up on thenearest form to speak to me. Pleasant enough! I checked my vexation as well as I was able, since the least shyness on my part to those with whom Page 102 formerly I had been social must instantly have been attributed toCourt influence; and therefore, since I could not avoid thenotice, I did what I could to talk with him as heretofore. He isbesides so amiable a young man that I could not be sorry to seehim again, though I regretted it should be Just In that place, and at this time. While we talked together, Mr. Crutchley went back to his moredistant seat, and the moment I was able to withdraw from youngMr. Burke, Charles, who sat behind me, leant down and told me agentleman had just desired to be presented to me. "Who?" quoth I. " Mr. Windham, " he answered. I really thought he was laughing, and answered accordingly, buthe assured me he was in earnest, and that Mr. Windham had beggedhim to make the proposition. What could I do? There was norefusing; yet a planned meeting with another of the committee, and one deep in the prosecution, and from whom one of the hardestcharges has come(263)--could anything be less pleasant as I wasthen situated? The great chamberlain's box is the only part ofthe Hall that has any communication with either the committee boxor the House of Commons, and it is also the very nearest to theprisoner. WILLIAM WINDHAM) ESQ. , M. P. Mr. Windham I had seen twice before-both times at MissMonckton's; and anywhere else I should have been much gratifiedby his desire of a third meeting, as he is one of the mostagreeable, spirited, well-bred, and brilliant conversers I haveever spoken with. He is a neighbour, too, now, of Page 103 Charlotte's. He is member for Norwich, and a man of family andfortune, with a very pleasing though not handsome face, a veryelegant figure, and an air of fashion and vivacity. The conversations I had had with him at Miss Monckton's had been, wholly- by his own means, extremely spirited and entertaining. Iwas sorry to see him make one of a set that appeared soinveterate against a man I believe so injuriously treated; and myconcern was founded upon the good thoughts I had conceived ofhim, not merely from his social talents, which are yet veryuncommon, but from a reason clearer to my remembrance. He lovedDr. Johnson, -and Dr. Johnson returned his affection. Theirpolitical principles and connexions were opposite, but Mr. Windham respected his venerable friend too highly to discuss anypoints that could offend him ; and showed for him so true aregard, that, during all his late illnesses, for the latter partof his life, his carriage and himself were alike at his service, to air, visit, or go out, whenever he was disposed to acceptthem. Nor was this all; one tender proof he gave of warm and generousregard, that I can never forget, and that rose instantly to mymind when I heard his name, and gave him a welcome in my eyeswhen they met his face : it is this: Dr. Johnson, in his lastvisit to Lichfield, was taken ill, and waited to recover strengthfor travelling back to town in his usual vehicle, a stage-coach--as soon as this reached the ears of Mr. Windham, he set off forLichfield in his own carriage, to offer to bring hint back totown in it, and at his own time. For a young man of fashion, such a trait towards an old, howeverdignified philosopher, must surely be a mark indisputable of anelevated mind and character; and still the more strongly itmarked a noble way of thinking, as it was done in favour of aperson in open opposition to his own party, and declaredprejudices. Charles soon told me he was it my elbow. He had taken the placeMr. Crutchley had just left. The abord was, oil my, part, veryawkward, from the distress I felt lest Mr. Hastings should lookup, and from a conviction that I must not name Page 104 that gentleman, of whom alone I could then think, to a person ina committee against him. He, however, was easy, having no embarrassing thoughts, since theconference was of his own seeking. 'Twas so long since I hadseen him, that I almost wonder he remembered me. After the firstcompliments he looked around him, and exclaimed "What an assemblyis this! How striking a spectacle! I had not seen half itssplendour down there. You have it here to great advantage; youlose some of the lords, but you gain all the ladies. You have avery good place here, " "Yes and I may safely say I make a very impartial use of it forsince here I have sat, I have never discovered to which side Ihave been listening!" He laughed, but told me they were then running through thecharges. "And is it essential, " cried I, "that they should so run themthrough that nobody can understand them? Is that a form of law?" He agreed to the absurdity - and then, looking still at thespectacle, which indeed is the most splendid I ever saw, arrestedhis eyes upon the chancellor. "He looks very well from hence, " cried he; "and how well heacquits himself on these solemn occasions! With what dignity, what loftiness, what high propriety, he comports himself!" This praise to the chancellor, who is a known friend to Mr. Hastings, though I believe he would be the last to favour himunjustly now he is on trial, was a pleasant sound to my ear, andconfirmed my original idea of the liberal disposition of my newassociate. I joined heartily in the commendation, and warmlypraised his speech. "Even a degree of pompousness, " cried I, "in such a court asthis, seems a propriety. " "Yes, " said he "but his speech had one word that might as wellhave been let alone: 'mere allegations' he called the charges;the word 'mere, ' at least, might have been spared, especially asit is already strongly suspected on which side he leans!" I protested, and with truth, I had not heard the word in hisspeech; but he still affirmed it. "Surely, " I said, "he was as fair and impartial as possible: hecalled the accusers 'so respectable!'" "Yes, but 'mere--mere' was no word for this occasion and it couldnot be unguarded, for he would never come to Page 105 speak in such a court as this, without some little thinkingbeforehand. However, he is a fine fellow, --a very fine fellow!and though, in his private life, guilty of so many inaccuracies, in his public capacity I really hold him to be unexceptionable. " This fairness, from an oppositionist professed, brought me atonce to easy terms with him. I begged him to inform me for whatreason, at the end of the chancellor's speech, there had been acry of "Hear! hear! hear him!" which had led me to expect anotherspeech, when I found no other seemed intended. He laughed verymuch, and confessed that, as a parliament man, he was so used tothat absurdity, that he had ceased to regard it; for that it wasmerely a mark of approbation to a speech already spoken; "And, infact, they only, " cried he, "say 'Hear!' when there is nothingmore to be heard!" Then, still looking at the scene before him, he suddenly laughed, and said, "I must not, to Miss Burney, makethis remark, but-it is observable that in the king's box sit theHawkesbury family, while, next to the Speaker, who is here as asort of representative of the king, sits Major Scott!" I knew his inference, of Court influence in favour of Mr. Hastings, but I thought it best to let it pass quietly. I knew, else, I should only be supposed under the same influence myself. Looking still on, he next noticed the two archbishops. "And see, "cried he, "the Archbishop of York, Markham, --see how he affectsto read the articles of impeachment, as if he was still open toeither side! My good lord archbishop! your grace might, withperfect safety, spare your eyes, for your mind has been made upupon this subject before ever it was investigated. He holdsHastings to be the greatest man in the world--for Hastingspromoted the interest of his son in the East Indies!" WINDHAM INVEIGHS AGAINST WARREN HASTINGS. Somewhat sarcastic, this - but I had as little time as power foranswering, since now, and suddenly, his eye dropped down uponpoor Mr. Hastings; the expression of his face instantly lost thegaiety and ease with which it had addressed me; he stopped shortin his remarks; he fixed his eyes steadfastly on this new, andbut too interesting object, and after viewing him 106 some time in a sort of earnest silence, he suddenly exclaimed asif speaking to himself, and from an impulse irresistible"What a sight is that! to see that man, that small portion ofhuman clay, that poor feeble machine of earth, enclosed now inthat little space, brought to that bar, a prisoner in a spot sixfoot square--and to reflect on his late power! Nations at hiscommand! Princes prostrate at his feet!--What a change! how Musthe feel it!--" He stopped, and I said not a word. I was glad to see him thusimpressed; I hoped it might soften his enmity. I found, by hismanner, that he had never, from the committee box, looked at him. He broke forth again, after a pause of Some length, --"Wonderfulindeed! almost past credibility, is such a reverse! He that, solately, had the Eastern world nearly at his beck; he, under whosetyrant power princes and potentates sunk and trembled; he, whoseauthority was without the reach of responsibility!--" Again he stopped, seeming struck, almost beyond the power ofspeech, with meditative commiseration ; but then, suddenlyrousing himself, as if recollecting his "almost blunted purpose, "he passionately exclaimed, "Oh could those--the thousands, themillions, who have groaned and languished under the iron rod ofhis oppressions- -could they but--whatever region they inhabit--be permitted one dawn of light to look into this Hall, and seehim there! There--where he now stands--It might prove, perhaps, some recompense for their sufferings!" I can hardly tell you, my dearest Susan, how shocked I felt atthese words! words so hard, and following sensations so much morepitying and philosophic! I cannot believe Mr. Hastings guilty; Ifeel in myself a strong internal evidence of his innocence, drawnfrom all I have seen of him; I can only regard the prosecution asa party affair; but yet, since his adversaries now openly staketheir names, fame, and character against him, I did not think itdecent to intrude such an opinion. I could only be sorry, andsilent. Still he looked at him, earnest in rumination, and as if unableto turn away his eyes; and presently he again exclaimed, "Howwonderful an instance of the instability of mortal power ispresented ]In that object! From possessions so extensive, from adespotism so uncontrolled. To see him, now there, in that smallcircumference! In the history Of human nature how memorable willbe the records of this day! Page 107 a day that brings to the great tribunal of the nation a man whosepower, so short a time since, was of equal magnitude with hiscrimes!" Good heaven! thought I, and do you really believe all this? CanMr. Hastings appear to you such a monster? and are you not merelyswayed by party? I could not hear him without shuddering, nor seehim thus in earnest without alarm. I thought myself no longerbound to silence, since I saw, by the continuance as well as bythe freedom of his exclamations, he conceived me of the samesentiments with himself; and therefore I hardily resolved to makeknown to him that mistake, which, indeed, was a liberty thatseemed no longer impertinent, but a mere act of justice andhonesty. His very expressive pause, his eyes still steadfastly fixed onMr. Hastings, gave me ample opportunity for speaking - though Ihad some little difficulty how to get out what I wished to say. However, in the midst of his reverie, I broke forth, but notwithout great hesitation, and, very humbly, I said, "Could youpardon me, Mr. Windham, If I should forget, for a moment, thatyou are a committee man, and speak to you frankly?" He looked surprised, but laughed at the question, and veryeagerly called out "Oh yes, yes, pray speak out, I beg it!" "Well, then, may I venture to say to you that I believe itutterly impossible for any one, not particularly engaged on thecontrary side, ever to enter a court of justice, and notinstantly, and involuntarily, wish well to the prisoner!" His surprise subsided by this general speech, which I had notcourage to put in a more pointed way, and he very readily answered, "'Tis natural, certainly, and what must almostunavoidably be the first impulse; yet, where justice--" I stopped him; I saw I was not comprehended, and thought else hemight say something to stop me. "May I, " I said, " go yet a little farther ? "Yes, " cried he, with a very civil smile, "and I feel an assentbeforehand. " " Supposing then, that even you, if that may be supposed, couldbe divested of all knowledge of the particulars of this affair, and in the same state of general Ignorance that I confess myselfto be, and could then, like me, have seen Mr. Hastings make hisentrance into this court, and looked at him when he was broughtto that bar; not even you, Mr. Windham, could then have reflectedon such a vicissitude for him, on all he has Page 108 left and all he has lost, and not have given him, like me, allyour best wishes the moment you beheld him. " The promised assent came not, though he was too civil tocontradict me ; but still I saw he Understood me only in ageneral sense. I feared going farther : a weak advocate is aptto be a mischievous one and, as I knew nothing, it was not to aprofessed enemy I could talk of what I only believed. Recovering, now, from the strong emotion with which the sight ofMr. Hastings had filled him, he looked again around the court, and pointed out several of the principal characters present, witharch and striking remarks upon each of them, all uttered withhigh spirit, but none with ill-nature. ("Pitt, " cried he, "is not here!--a noble stroke that for theannals of his administration! A trial is brought on by the wholeHouse of Commons In a body, and he is absent at the very opening! However, " added he, with a very meaning laugh, "I'm glad of it, for 'tis to his eternal disgrace!" Mercy! thought I, what a friend to kindness Is party! "Do you see Scott?" cried he. "No, I never saw him; pray show him to me, " "There he is, in green; just now by the Speaker, now moved by thecommittee; in two minutes more he will be somewhere else, skipping backwards and forwards; what a grasshopper it is!" "I cannot look at him, " cried I, "without recollecting a veryextraordinary letter from him, that I read last summer in thenewspaper, where he answers some attack that he says has beenmade upon him, because the term is used of 'a very insignificantfellow, ' and he printed two or three letters in 'The PublicAdvertiser, ' in following days, to prove, with great care andpains, that he knew it was all meant as an abuse of himself, fromthose words!" "And what, " cried he, laughing, "do you say to that notion nowyou see him?" "That no one, " cried I, examining him with my glass, "canpossibly dispute his claim!" What pity that Mr. Hastings should have trusted his cause to sofrivolous an agent! I believe, and indeed it is the generalbelief, both of foes and friends, that to his officious andinjudicious zeal the present prosecution is wholly owing. Next, Mr. Windham pointed out Mr. Francis to me. 'TIS a singularcircumstance, that the friend who most loves and the enemy Whomost hates Mr. Hastings should bear the same Page 109 name!(264) Mr. Windham, with all the bias of party, gave me thenthe highest character of this Mr. Francis, whom he called one ofthe most ill-used of men. Want of documents how to answer forcedme to be silent, oppositely as I thought. But it was a veryunpleasant situation to me, as I saw that Mr. Windham stillconceived me to have no other interest than a common, andprobably to his mind, a weak compassion for the prisoner--thatprisoner who, frequently looking around, saw me, I am certain, and saw with whom I was engaged. The subject of Mr. Francis again drew him back to Mr. Hastings, but with more severity of mind. "A prouder heart, " cried he, "anambition more profound, were never, I suppose, lodged in anymortal mould than in that man! With what a port he entered! didyou observe him? his air! I saw not his face, but his air hisport!" "Surely there, " cried I, "he could not be to blame! He comes uponhis defence; ought he to look as if he gave himself up?" "Why no; 'tis true he must look what vindication to himself hecan; we must not blame him there. " Encouraged by this little concession, I resolved to venturefarther, and once more said "May I again, Mr. Windham, forgetthat you are a committee-man, and say something not fit for acommittee man to hear?" "O yes!" cried he, laughing very much, and looking extremelycurious. "I must fairly, then, own myself utterly ignorant upon thissubject, and--and--may I go on?" "I beg you will!" "Well, then, --and originally prepossessed in favour of theobject!" He quite started, and with a look of surprise from which allpleasure was separated, exclaimed--"Indeed!" "Yes!" cried I, "'tis really true, and really out, now!" "For Mr. Hastings, prepossessed!" he repeated, in a tone thatseemed to say--do you not mean Mr. Burke? Page 110 "Yes, " I said, "for Mr. Hastings! But I should not have presumedto own it just at this time, --so little as I am able to do honourto my prepossession by any materials to defend it, --but that youhave given me courage, by appearing so free from all malignity inthe business. Tis, therefore, Your own fault!" "But can you speak seriously, " cried he, " "when You say you knownothing of this business?" "Very seriously: I never entered into it at all; it was alwaystoo intricate to tempt me. " "But, surely you must have read the charges?" "No; they are so long, I had never the courage to begin. " The conscious look with which he heard this, brought--all toolate--to my remembrance, that one of them was drawn up, anddelivered in the House, by himself! I was really very sorry tohave been so unfortunate; but I had no way to call back thewords, so was quiet, perforce. "Come then, " cried he, emphatically, "to hear Burke! come andlisten to him, and you will be mistress of the whole. HearBurke, and read the charges of the Begums, and then you will formyour judgment without difficulty. " I would rather (thought I) hear him upon any other subject: but Imade no answer; I only said, "Certainly, I can gain nothing bywhat is going forward to-day. I meant to come to the openingnow, but it seems rather like the shutting up!" He was not to be put off. "You will come, however, to hearBurke? To hear truth, reason, justice, eloquence! You will thensee, in other colours, 'That man!' There is more cruelty, moreoppression, more tyranny, in that little machine, with anarrogance, a self-confidence, unexampled, unheard of!" MISS BURNEY BATTLES FOR THE ACCUSED. "Indeed, sir!" cried I; "that does not appear, to those who knowhim and--I--know him a little. " "Do you?" cried he earnestly; "personally, do you know him?" "Yes; and from that knowledge arose this prepossession I haveconfessed. " "Indeed, what you have seen of him have you then so muchapproved?" "Yes, very much! I must own the truth!" "But you have not seen much of him?" Page 111 "No, not lately. My first knowledge of him was almostimmediately upon his coming from India; I had heard nothing ofall these accusations; I had never been in the way of hearingthem, and knew not even that there were any to be heard. I sawhim, therefore, quite without prejudice, for or against him ; andindeed, I must own, he soon gave me a strong interest in hisfavour. " The surprise with which he heard me must have silenced me on thesubject, had it not been accompanied with an attention so earnestas to encourage me still to proceed. It is evident to me thatthis committee live so much shut Lip with one another, that theyconclude all the world of the same opinions with themselves, anduniversally imagine that the tyrant they think themselvespursuing is a monster in every part of his life, and held incontempt and abhorrence by all mankind. Could I then be sorry, seeing this, to contribute my small mite towards clearing, atleast, so very wide a mistake? On the contrary, when I saw helistened, I was most eager to give him all I could to hear, "I found him, " I continued, "so mild, so gentle, so extremelypleasing in his manners--" "Gentle!" cried he, with quickness. "Yes, Indeed; gentle even to humility--" "Humility? Mr. Hastings and humility!" "Indeed it is true; he is perfectly diffident in the whole of hismanner, when engaged in conversation; and so much struck was I, at that very time, by seeing him so simple, so unassuming, whenjust returned from a government that had accustomed him to apower superior to our monarchs here, that it produced an effectupon my mind in his favour which nothing can erase!" "Yes, Yes!" cried he, with great energy, "you will give it up! you must lose it, must give it up! it will be plucked away, rooted wholly out of your mind . " "Indeed, sir, " cried I, steadily, "I believe not!" "You believe not?" repeated he, with added animation; "then therewill be the more glory in making you a convert!" If "conversion" is the word, thought I, I would rather make thanbe made. "But --Mr. Windham, " cried I, "all my amazement now is at yourcondescension in speaking to me upon this business at all, when Ihave confessed to you my total ignorance of the subject, and myoriginal prepossession in favour of the object. Why Page 112 do you not ask me when I was at the play ? and how I liked thelast opera?" He laughed; and we talked on a little while in that strain, tillagain, suddenly fixing his eyes on poor Mr. Hastings, his gaietyonce more vanished, and he gravely and severely examined hiscountenance. "'Tis surely, " cried he, "an unpleasant one. Hedoes not know, I suppose, 'tis reckoned like his own!" "How should he, " cried I, "look otherwise than unpleasant here?" "True, " cried he; "yet still, I think, his features, his look, his whole expression, unfavourable to him. I never saw him butonce before; that was at the bar of the House of Commons andthere, as Burke admirably said, he looked, when first he glancedan eye against him, like a hungry tiger, ready to howl for hisprey!" "Well, " cried I, "I am sure he does not look fierce now!Contemptuous, a little, I think he does look!" I was sorry I used this word; yet its truth forced it to escapeme. He did not like it; he repeated it; he could not but be surethe contempt could only be levelled at his prosecutors. I feareddiscussion, and flew off as fast as I could, to softer ground. "It was not, " cried I, "with that countenance he gave me myprepossession! Very differently, indeed, he looked then!" "And can he ever look pleasant? can that face ever obtain anexpression that is pleasing?" "Yes, indeed and in truth, very pleasant! It was in the countryI first saw him, and without any restraint on his part; I sawhim, therefore, perfectly natural and easy. And no one, let mesay, could so have seen him without being pleased with him--hisquietness and serenity, joined to his intelligence andinformation--" "His information?--in what way?" "In such a way as suited his hearer: not upon committeebusiness--of all that I knew nothing. The only conversation inwhich I could mix was upon India, considered simply as, a countryin which he had travelled; and his communications upon thepeople, the customs, habits, cities, and whatever I could name, were so instructive as well as entertaining, that I think I neverrecollect gaining more intelligence, or more pleasantly conveyed, from any conversation in which I ever have been engaged. " Page 113 To this he listened with an attention that, but for the secretzeal which warmed me must have silenced and shamed me. I amsatisfied this committee have concluded Mr. Hastings a mere manof blood, with slaughter and avarice for his sole ideas! Thesurprise with which he heard this just testimony to his socialabilities was only silent from good-breeding, but his eyesexpressed what his tongue withheld; something that satisfied mehe concluded I had undesignedly been duped by him. I answered this silence bysaying "There was no object for hypocrisy, for it was quite inretirement I met with him : it was not lately ; it is near twoyears since I have seen him; he had therefore no point to gainwith me, nor was there any public character, nor any personwhatever, that Could induce him to act a part; yet was he all Ihave said-informing, Communicative, instructive, and at the sametime, gentle and highly pleasing. " "Well, " said he, very civilly, "I begin the less to wonder, now, that You have adhered to his side; but--" "To see him, then, " cried I, stopping his 'but, '--"to see himbrought to that bar! and kneeling at it!--indeed, Mr. Windham, Imust own to you, I could hardly keep my seat--hardly forbearrising and running out of the Hall. " "Why, there, " cried he, "I agree with you! 'Tis certainly ahumiliation not to be wished or defended: it is, indeed, a mereceremony, a mere formality; but it is a mortifying one, and soobsolete, so unlike the practices of the times, so repugnant froma gentleman to a gentleman, that I myself looked another way: it hurt me, and I wished it dispensed with. " "O, Mr. Windham, " cried I, surprised and pleased, "and can you beso liberal?" "Yes, " cried he, laughing, "but 'tis only to take you in!" Afterwards he asked what his coat was, whether blue Or purple;and said, "is it not customary for a prisoner to come black?" "Whether or not, " quoth I, "I am heartily glad he has not doneit; why should he seem so dismal, so shut out from hope?" "Why, I believe he is in the right. I think he has judged thatnot ill. " "O, don't be so candid, " cried I, "I beg you not. " "Yes, yes, I must; and you know the reason, " cried he, gaily; butpresently exclaimed, "one unpleasant thing belong- Page 114 ing to being a manager is that I must now go and show myself inthe committee. "And then he very civilly bowed, and went down to his box, leavingme much persuaded that I had never yet been engaged in aconversation so curious, from its circumstances, in my life. Thewarm well-wisher myself of the prisoner, though formerly thewarmest admirer of his accuser, engaged, even at his trial and inhis presence, in so open a discussion with one of his principalprosecutors; and the queen herself in full view, unavoidablybeholding me in close and eager conference with an avowed memberof the opposition! These circumstances made me at first enter into discourse withMr. Windham with the utmost reluctance ; but though I wished toshun him, I could not, when once attacked, decline to conversewith him. It would but injure the cause of Mr. Hastings to seemto fear hearing the voice of his accusers; and it could but beattributed to undue court-influence had I avoided any intercoursewith an acquaintance so long ago established as a member of theopposition. A WEARIED M. P. -MR. CRUTCHLEY REAPPEARS. In the midst of the opening of a trial such as this, so importantto the country as well as to the individual who is tried, whatwill you say to a man--a member of the House of Commons who keptexclaiming almost perpetually, just at my side, "What a bore!--when will it be over?--Must one come any more?--I had a greatmind not to have come at all. --Who's that?--Lady Hawkesbury andthe Copes?--Yes. --A pretty girl, Kitty. --Well, when will theyhave done?--I wish they'd call the question--I should vote it abore at once! just such exclamations as these were repeated, withoutintermission, till the gentleman departed: and who should it bethat spoke with so much legislative wisdom but Mr. W---! In about two or three hours--this reading still lasting--Mr. Crutchley came to me again. He, too, was so wearied, that he wasdeparting; but he stayed some time to talk over our constanttopic--my poor Mrs. Thrale. How little does he suspect theinterest I unceasingly take in her--the avidity with which Iseize every opportunity to gather the smallest intelligenceconcerning her! One little trait of Mr. Crutchley, so characteristic of thatqueerness which distinguishes him, I must mention. He said Page 115 he questioned whether he should comme any more: I told him I hadimagined the attendance of every member to be indispensable. "No, " cried he, "ten to one if another day they are able to makea house!" "The Lords, however, I suppose, must come?" "Not unless they like it. " " But I hear if they do not attend they have no tickets. " "Why, then, Miss Primrose and Miss Cowslip must stay away too!" I had the pleasure to find him entirely for Mr. Hastings, and tohear he had constantly voted on his side through every stage ofthe business. He is a very independent man, and a man of realgood character, and, with all his oddity, of real understanding. We compared notes very amicably upon this subject, and bothagreed that those who looked for every flaw in the conduct of aman in so high and hazardous a station, ought first to haveweighed his merits and his difficulties. MR. WINDHAM DISCUSSES THE IMPEACHMENT. A far more interesting conference, however, was now awaiting me. Towards the close of the day Mr. Windham very unexpectedly cameagain from the committee-box, and seated himself by my side. Iwas glad to see by this second visit that my frankness had notoffended him. He began, too, in so open and social a manner, that I was satisfied he forgave it. "I have been, " cried he, "very busy since I left you. --writing--reading--making documents. " I saw he was much agitated ; the gaiety which seems natural tohim was flown, and had left in its place the most evident andunquiet emotion. I looked a little surprised, and rallyinghimself, in a few moments he inquired if I wished for anyrefreshment, and proposed fetching me some. But, well as I likedhim for a conspirator, I could not break bread with him! I thought now all was over of communication between us, but I wasmistaken. He spoke for a minute or two upon the crowd--earlyhour of coming--hasty breakfasting and such general nothings; andthen, as if involuntarily, he returned to the sole subject onhis mind. "Our plan, " cried he, "is all changing: we have all been busy--weare coming into a new method. I have been making preparations--Idid not intend speaking for a considerable time--not till afterthe circuit, but now, I may be called upon, I know not how soon. " Page 116 Then he stopped--ruminating--and I let him ruminate withoutinterruption for some minutes, when he broke forth with thesereflections: "How strange, how infatuated a frailty has man withrespect to the future! Be our views, our designs, ouranticipations what they may, we are never prepared for it!--Italways takes us by surprise--always comes before we look for it!" He stopped; but I waited his explanation without speaking, and, after pausing thoughtfully for some time, he went on: "This day--for which we have all been waiting so anxiously, soearnestly--the day for which we have fought, for which we havestruggled--a day, indeed, of national glory, in bringing to thisgreat tribunal a delinquent from so high an office--this day, somuch wished, has seemed to me, to the last moment, so distant, that now--now that it Is actually arrived, it takes me as if Ihad never thought of it before--it comes upon me all unexpected, and finds me unready!" Still I said nothing, for I did not fully comprehend him, till headded, "I will not be so affected as to say to you that I havemade no preparation--that I have not thought a little upon what Ihave to do; yet now that the moment is actually come--" Again he broke off. But a generous sentiment was, bursting fromhim, and would not be withheld. "It has brought me, " he resumed, "a feeling of which I am not yetquite the master! What I have said hitherto, when I have spokenin the house, has been urged and stimulated by the idea ofpleading for the injured and the absent, and that gave me spirit. Nor do I tell you (with a half-conscious smile) that the ardourof the prosecution went for nothing--a prosecution in favour ofoppressed millions! But now, . When I am to speak here, thethought of that man, close to my side--culprit as he is--that manon whom all the odium is to fall--gives me, I own, a sensationthat almost disqualifies me beforehand!" . . . "That this day was ever brought about, " continued he, "must everremain a noble memorial of courage and perseverance in theCommons. Every possible obstacle has been thrown in our way--every art of government has been at work to impede us--nothinghas been left untried to obstruct us--every check and clog ofpower and influence. " "Not by him, " cried I, looking at poor Mr. Hastings; "he hasraised no impediments--he has been wholly careless. " Page 117 "Come, " cried he, with energy, "come and hear Burke!--Come butand hear him!--'tis an eloquence irresistible!--a torrent thatsweeps all before it with the force of a whirlwind! It will CureYou, indeed, of your prepossession, but it will give you truthand right in its place. What discoveries has he not made!--whatgulfs has he not dived into! Come and hear him, and your conflictwill end!" I could hardly stand this, and, to turn it off', asked him if Mr. Hastings was to make his own defence? "No, " he answered, "he will only speak by counsel. But do notregret that, for his own sake, as he is not used to publicspeaking, and has some impediment in his speech besides. Hewrites wonderfully--there he shines--and with a facility quiteastonishing. Have you ever happened to see any of his writings?" "No: only one short account, which he calls 'Memoirs relative tosome India transactions, ' and that struck me to be extremelyunequal--in some places strong and finely expressed, In othersobscure and scarce intelligible. " "That is just the case--that ambiguity runs through him ineverything. Burke has found an admirable word for it in thePersian tongue, for which we have no translation, but it means anintricacy involved so deep as to be nearly unfathomable--anartificial entanglement. " I inquired how it was all to end--whether this reading was tocontinue incessantly, or any speaking was to follow it? "I have not inquired how that is, " he answered, "but I believeyou will now soon be released. " "And will the chancellor speak to adjourn?" "I cannot tell what the form may be, or how we are to bedissolved. I think myself there is nothing more difficult thanhow to tell people they may go about their business. I remember, when I was in the militia, it was just what I thought the mostawkward, when I had done with my men. Use gives one the habit;and I found, afterwards, there was a regular mode for it: but, atfirst, I found it very embarrassing how to get rid of them. " Nothing excites frankness like frankness ; and I answered him inreturn with a case of my own. "When first I came to my presentresidence I was perpetually, " I said, "upon the point of making ablunder with the queen; for when, after she had honoured me withany conversation, she used to say 'Now I won't keep you--now Iwill detain you no longer, ' . Page 118 I was always ready to answer, 'Ma'am, I am in no haste, - ma'am, Idon't wish to go!' for I was not, at first, aware that it wasonly her mode of dismissing people from her presence. " WINDHAM AFFECTS TO COMMISERATE HASTINGS. Again he was going: but glancing his eyes once more down upon Mr. Hastings, he almost sighed--he fetched, at least, a deep breath, while he exclaimed with strong emotion, "What a place for a manto stand in to hear what he has to hear!--'tis almost too much!" It would not be easy to tell you how touching at such a time wasthe smallest concession from an avowed opponent, and I could nothelp exclaiming again, "O, Mr. Windham, you must not be soliberal!" "O!" cried he, smiling, and recovering himself, "'tis all thedeeper malice, only to draw you in!" Still, however, he did not go : he kept gazing upon Mr. Hastingstill he seemed almost fascinated to the spot; and presentlyafter, growing more and more open in his discourse, he began totalk to me of Sir Elijah Impey. I presume my dearest friends, little as they hear of politics and state business, must yet knowthat the House of Commons is threatening Sir Elijah with animpeachment, to succeed that of Mr. Hastings, and all upon EastIndia transactions of the same date. (265) When he had given me his sentiments upon this subject, which Ihad heard with that sort of quietness that results from totalignorance of the matter, joined to total ignorance of the personconcerned, he drew a short comparison, which, nearly, from him, and at such a moment, drew the tears from my eyes--nearly do Isay?--Indeed more than that! "Sir Elijah, " cried he, "knows how to go to work, and by gettingthe lawyers to side with him professionally, has set Page 119 about his defence in the most artful manner. He is not onlywicked, but a very pitiful fellow. Let him but escape fine orimprisonment, and he will pocket all indignity, and hold himselfhappy in getting off: but Hastings (again looking steadfastly athim)--Hastings has feeling--'tis a proud feeling, an ambitiousfeeling--but feeling he has! Hastings--come to him what may--fine, imprisonment, whatsoever is inflicted--all will be nothing. The moment of his punishment--I think it, upon my honour!--wasthe moment that brought him to that bar!" When he said "I think it, upon my honour, " he laid his hand onhis breast, as if he implied, "I acquit him henceforward. " Poor Mr. Hastings! One generous enemy he has at least, whopursues him with public hate, but without personal malignity! yetsure I feel he can deserve neither! I did not spare to express my sense of this liberality from afoe; for, indeed, the situation I was in, and the sight of Mr. Hastings, made it very affecting to me. He was affected too, himself; but presently, rising, he said with great quickness, "Imust shake all. This off; I must have done with it--dismiss it--forget that he is there. " "O, no, " cried I, earnestly, "do not forget it!" "Yes, yes; I must. " " No, remember it rather, " cried I; "I could almost (putting upmy hands as if praying) do thus and then, like poor Mr. Hastingsjust now to the house, drop down on my knees to you, to call out'Remember it. '" "Yes, Yes, " cried he, precipitately, "how else shall I go on? Imust forget that he is there, and that you are here. " And thenhe hurried down to his committee. Was it not a most singular scene ? I had afterwards to relate great part of this to the queenherself. She saw me engaged in such close discourse, and withsuch apparent interest on both sides, with Mr. Windham, that Iknew she must else form conjectures innumerable. So candid, soliberal is the mind of the queen, that she not only heard me withthe most favourable attention towards Mr. Windham, but washerself touched even to tears by the relation. We stayed but a short time after this last conference ; fornothing more was attempted than reading on the charges andanswers, in the same useless manner, 120 MISS BURNEY IS AGAIN PRESENT AT HASTINGS'S TRIAL. . The interest of this trial was so much upon my mind, that I havenot kept even a memorandum of what passed from the 13th ofFebruary to the day when I went again to Westminster Hall; nor, except renewing the Friday Oratorios with Mrs. Ord, do Irecollect one circumstance. The second time that the queen, who saw my wishes, indulged mewith one of her tickets, and a permission of absence for thetrial, was to hear Mr. Burke, for whom my curiosity and myinterest stood the highest. One ticket, however, would not do; Icould not go alone, and the queen had bestowed all her other'tickets before she discovered that this was a day in myparticular wishes. She entered into my perplexity with asweetness the most gracious, and when I knew not how to obviateit, commanded me to write to the Duchess of Ancaster, and begpermission to be put under the wing of her grace, or any of herfriends that were going to the Hall. The duchess, unluckily, did not go, from indisposition, nor anyof her family; but she sent me a very obliging letter, andanother ticket from Sir Peter Burrell, to use for a companion. I fixed upon James, who, I knew, wished to hear Mr. Burke foronce, and we went together very comfortably. When the managers, who, as before, made the first procession, by entering their boxbelow us, were all arranged, one from among them, whom I knewnot, came up into the seats of the House of Commons by our side, and said, "Captain Burney, I am very glad to see you. " "How do you do, sir ?" answered James; "here I am, come to seethe fine show. " Upon this the attacker turned short upon his heel, and abruptlywalked away, descending into the box, which he did not quit anymore. I inquired who he was; General Burgoyne, James told me. "A manager!" cried I, "and one of the chargers! and you treat thebusiness of the Hall with such contempt to his face!" James laughed heartily at his own uncourtly address, but I wouldnot repent, though he acknowledged he saw the offence his slightand slighting speech had given. Fearful lest he should proceed in the same style with my friendMr. Windham, I kept as aloof as possible, to avoid his notice, entreating James at the same time to have the complaisance to besilent upon this subject, should he discover me Page 121 and approach. My own sentiments were as opposite to those of themanagers as his, and I had not scrupled to avow honestly mydissent; but I well knew Mr. Windham might bear, and evenrespect, from a female, the same openness of opposition thatmight be highly offensive to him from a man. But I could obtainno positive promise; he would only compromise with my request, and agree not to speak unless applied to first. This, however, contented me, as Mr. Windham was too far embarked in hisundertaking to solicit any opinion upon it from accidentallymeeting any common acquaintance. >From young Burke and his uncle Richard I had bows from thecommittee box. Mr. Windham either saw me not, or was too muchengaged in business to ascend. BURKE'. S SPEECH IN SUPPORT OF THE CHARGES. At length the peers' procession closed, the prisoner was broughtin, and Mr. Burke began his speech. It was the second day of hisharangue;(266) the first I had not been able to attend. All I had heard of his eloquence, and all I had conceived of hisgreat abilities, was more than answered by his performance. Nervous, clear, and striking was almost all that he uttered: themain business, indeed, of his coming forth was frequentlyneglected, and not seldom wholly lost, but his excursions wereso fanciful, so entertaining, and so ingenious, that nomiscellaneous hearer, like myself, could blame them. It is truehe was unequal, but his inequality produced an effect which, inso long a speech, was perhaps preferable to greater consistencysince, though it lost attention in its falling off, it recoveredit with additional energy by some ascent unexpected andwonderful. When he narrated, he was easy, flowing, and natural;when he declaimed, energetic, warm, and brilliant. Thesentiments he interspersed were as nobly conceived as they werehighly coloured; his satire had a poignancy of wit that made itas entertaining as it was penetrating; his allusions andquotations, as far as they were English and within my reach, wereapt and ingenious - and the wild and sudden flights of his fancy, bursting forth from his creative imagination in language fluent, forcible, and varied, had a charm for my ear and my attentionwholly new and perfectly irresistible. Were talents such as these exercised in the service of truth, Page 122 unbiased by party and prejudice, how could we sufficientlyapplaud their exalted possessor? But though frequently he mademe tremble by his strong and horrible representations, his own violence recovered me, by stigmatizing his assertionswith personal ill-will and designing illiberality. Yet, at timesI confess, with all that I felt, wished, and thought concerningMr. Hastings, the whirlwind of his eloquence nearly drew me intoits vortex. I give no particulars of the speech, because theywill all be printed. The observations and whispers of our keen as well as honestJames, during the whole, were highly characteristic andentertaining. "When will he come to the point?"-"These are mere words!"--"Thisis all sheer detraction!"--"All this is nothing to the purpose!"etc. , etc. "Well, ma'am, what say you to all this? how have you beenentertained?" cried a voice at my side; and I saw Mr. Crutchley, who came round to speak to me. "Entertained?" cried I, "indeed, not at all, it is quite tooserious and too horrible for entertainment: you ask after myamusement as if I were at an opera or a comedy. " "A comedy?" repeated he, contemptuously, "no, a farce! It is nothigh enough for a comedy. To hear a man rant such stuff. Butyou should have been here the first day he spoke; this is milkand honey to that. He said then, ' His heart was as black--as--black!' and called him the captain-general of iniquity. " "Hush! hush!" cried I, for he spoke very loud; "that young manyou see down there, who is looking up, is his son. " "I know it, " cried he, "and what do I care?" How I knew Mr. Crutchley again, by his ready talent of defiance, and disposition to contempt ! I was called aside from him byJames. Mr. Crutchley retired, and Mr. Windham quitted his den, andapproached me, with a smile of good-humour and satisfaction thatmade me instantly exclaim, "No exultation, Mr. Windham, noquestions; don't ask me what I think of the speech; I can bear notriumph just now. " "No, indeed, " cried he, very civilly, "I will not, I promise you, and you may depend upon me. " He then spoke to James, regretting with much politeness that hehad seen so little of him when he was his neighbour in Norfolk, and attributing it to the load of India business he had carriedinto the country to study. I believe I have mentioned Page 123 that Felbrig, Mr. Windham's seat, is within a few miles of mybrother-in-law, Mr. Francis's house at Aylsham. After this, however, ere we knew where we were, we begancommenting upon the speech. It was impossible to refuse applauseto its able delivery and skilful eloquence; I, too, who so longhad been amongst the warmest personal admirers of Mr. Burke, could least of all withhold from him the mite of common justice. In talking over the speech, therefore, while I kept clear of itspurpose, I gave to its execution the amplest praise; and Isecretly grieved that I held back more blame than I hadcommendation to bestow. He had the good breeding to accept it just as I offered it, without claiming more, or endeavouring to entangle me in myapprobation. He even checked himself, voluntarily, when he wasasking me some question of my conversion, by stopping short, andsaying, "But, no, it is not fair to press you; I must not dothat. " "You cannot, " cried I, "press me too much, with respect to myadmiration of the ability of the speaker; I never more wished tohave written short-hand. I must content myself, however, that Ihave at least a long memory. " He regretted very much that I had missed the first opening of thespeech, and gave me some account of it, adding, I might judgewhat I had lost then by what I had heard now. I frankly confessed that the two stories which Mr. Burke hadnarrated had nearly overpowered me; they were pictures of crueltyso terrible. "But General Caillot, " cried he, smiling, "the hero of one ofthem, you would be tempted to like: he is as mild, as meek, asgentle in his manners--" I saw he was going to say "As your Mr. Hastings;" but Iinterrupted him hastily, calling out, "Hush! hush! Mr. Windham;would you wish me in future to take to nothing but lions? FURTHER CONVERSATION WITH MR. WINDHAM. We then went into various other particulars of the speech, tillMr. Windham observed that Mr. Hastings was looking up, and, afterexamining him some time, said he did not like his countenance. Icould have told him that he is generally reckoned extremely likehimself but after such an observation I would not venture, andonly said, "Indeed, he is cruelly altered: it Page 124 was not so he looked when I conceived for him that prepossessionI have owned to you. " "Altered, is he?" cried he, biting his lips and looking somewhatshocked. "Yes, and who can wonder? Indeed, it is quite affecting to seehim sit there to hear such things. " "I did not see him, " cried he, eagerly "I did not think it rightto look at him during the speech, nor from the committeebox; and, therefore, I constantly kept my eyes another way. " I -had a great inclination to beg he would recommend a little ofthe same decency to some of his colleagues, among whom are threeor four that even stand on the benches to examine him, during theseverest strictures, with opera-glasses. Looking at him againnow, myself, I could not see his pale face and haggard eyewithout fresh concern, nor forbear to exclaim, "Indeed, Mr. Windham, this is a dreadful business!" He seemed a little struckwith this exclamation; and, lest it should offend him, I hastenedto add, in apology, "You look so little like a bloody-mindedprosecutor, that I forget I ought not to say these things toyou. " "Oh!" cried he, laughing, "we are only prosecutorsthere--(pointing to the committee-box), we are at play up here. " . . . I wished much to know when he was himself to speak, and madesundry inquiries relative to the progress of the severalharangues, but all without being comprehended, till at length Icried, "In short, Mr. Windham, I want to know when everybodyspeaks. " He started, and cried with precipitancy, "Do you mean me?" "Yes. " "No, I hope not; I hope you have no wants about my miserablespeaking?" I Only laughed, and we talked for some time of other things; andthen, suddenly, he burst forth with, "But you have really made mea little uneasy by what you dropped just now. " "And what was that?" "Something like an intention of hearing me. " "Oh, if that depended wholly on myself, I should certainly doit. " "No, I hope not! I would not have you here on any account. Ifyou have formed any expectations, it will give me great concern. " "Pray don't be uneasy about that; for whatever expectations Page 125 I may have formed, I had much rather have them disappointed. " " Ho! ho!--you come, then, " cried he, pointedly, "to hear me, byway of soft ground to rest upon, after the hard course you willhave been run with these higher-spirited speakers?" . . . Hedesired me not to fail to come and hear Fox. My chances, I toldhim, were very uncertain, and Friday was the earliest of them. "He speaks on Thursday, " cried he, "and indeed you should hearhim. " "Thursday is my worst chance of all, " I answered, "for it is theCourt-day. " "And is there no dispensation ? " cried he ; and then, recollecting himself, and looking very archly at Mr. Fox, who wasjust below us, he added, "No, --true--not for him!" "Not for any body!" cried I; "on a Court-day my attendance is asnecessary, and I am dressed out as fine, and almost as stiff, asthose heralds are here. " I then told him what were my Windsordays, and begged he would not seize one of them to speak himself. "By no means, " cried he, quite seriously, "would I have youhere!--stay away, and only let me hope for your good wishes. " " I shall be quite sincere, " cried I, laughing, "and own to youthat stay away I shall not, if I can possibly come; but as to mygood wishes, I have not, in this case, one to give you!" He heard this with a start that was almost a jump. "What!" heexclaimed, "would you lay me under your judgment without yourmercy?--Why this is heavier than any penal statute. " He spoke this with an energy that made Mr. Fox look up, to see towhom he addressed his speech: but before I could answer it, poorJames, tired of keeping his promised circumspection, advanced hishead to join the conversation; and so much was I alarmed lest heshould burst forth into some unguarded expression of his vehementhatred to the cause, which could not but have irritated itsprosecutors, that the moment I perceived his motion andintention, I abruptly took my leave of Mr. Windham, and surprisedpoor James into a necessity of following me. Indeed I was now most eager to depart, from a circumstance thatmade me feel infinitely awkward. Mr. Burke himself was just comeforward, to speak to a lady a little below me; Mr. Windham hadinstantly turned towards me, with a look of congratulation thatseemed rejoicing for me, that the orator Page 126 of the day, and of the cause, was approaching, ; but I retreatedinvoluntarily back, and shirked meeting his eyes. He perceivedin an instant the mistake he was making, and went on with hisdiscourse as if Mr. Burke was out of the Hall. In a minute, however, Mr. Burke himself saw me, and he bowed with the mostmarked civility of manner; my courtesy was the most ungrateful, distant, and cold ; I could not do otherwise ; so hurt I felt tosee him the head of such a cause, so impossible I found it totitter one word of admiration for a performance whose noblenesswas so disgraced by its tenour, and so conscious was I the wholetime that at such a moment to say nothing must seem almost anaffront, that I hardly knew which way to look, or what to do withmyself. (267) ' In coming downstairs I met Lord Walsingham and Sir Lucas Pepys. "Well, Miss Burney, " cried the first, "what say you to agovernor-general of India now?" "Only this, " cried I, "that I do not dwell much upon any questiontill I have heard its answer!" Sir Lucas then attacked me too. All the world against poor Mr. Hastings, though without yet knowing what his materials may befor clearing away these aspersions! Miss FUZILIER LIKELY TO PECONIE MRS, FAIRLY, February. -Her majesty at this time was a little indisposed, andwe missed going to Windsor for a fortnight, during which Ireceived visits of inquiry from divers of her ladies--Mrs. Brudenell, bed-chamber woman; Miss Brudenell, her daughter, and amaid of honour elect, would but one of that class please to marryor die; Miss Tryon and Miss Beauclerk, maids of honour, neitherof them in a firm way to oblige Miss Brudenell, being nothingapproaching to death, though far advanced from marriage; andvarious others. Miss Brudenell's only present hope is said to be in MissFuzilier, (268) who is reported, with what foundation I know not, Page 127 to be likely to become Mrs. Fairly. She is pretty, learned, andaccomplished ; yet, from the very little I have seen of her, Ishould not think she had heart enough to satisfy Mr. Fairly, inwhose character the leading trait is the most acute sensibility, However, I have heard he has disclaimed all such intention, withhigh indignation at the report, as equally injurious to thedelicacy both of Miss Fuzilier and himself, so recently after hisloss. THE HASTINGS TRIAL AGAIN: MR. FOX IN A RAGE. And now for my third Westminster Hall, which, by the queen's ownindulgent order, was with dear Charlott and Sarah. It was alsoto hear Mr. Fox, and I was very glad to let Mr. Windham see a"dispensation" was attainable, though the cause was accidental, since the queen's cold prevented the Drawing-room. (269) We went early, yet did not get very good places. The managers atthis time were all in great wrath at a decision made the nightbefore by the Lords, upon a dispute between them and the counselfor Mr. Hastings, which turned entirely in favour of thelatter. (270) When they entered their committee-box, led on asusual by Mr. Burke, they all appeared in the extremest and mostangry emotion. When they had caballed together some time, Mr. Windham came upamong the Commons, to bow to some ladies of his acquaintance, andthen to speak to me ; but he was so agitated and so disconcerted, he could name nothing but their recent provocation from theLords. He seemed quite enraged, and broke forth with a vehemenceI should not much have liked to have excited. They hadexperienced, he said, in the late decision, the Most injurioustreatment that could be offered them: the Lords had resolved uponsaving Mr. Hastings, and the chancellor had taken him under the grossest protection. Page 128 "In short, " said he, "the whole business is taken out of ourhands, and they have all determined to save him. " "Have they indeed?" cried I, with Involuntary eagerness. "Yes, " answered he, perceiving how little I was shocked for him, "it is now all going your way. " I could not pretend to be sorry, and only inquired if Mr. Fox wasto speak. "I know not, " cried he, hastily, "what is to be done, who willspeak, or what will be resolved. Fox is in a rage! Oh, a rage!" "But yet I hope he will speak. I have never heard him. " "No? not the other day?" "No; I was then at Windsor. " "Oh yes, I remember you told me you were going. You have lostevery thing by it! To-day will be nothing, he is all rage! OnTuesday he was great indeed. You should have heard him then. And Burke, You should have heard the conclusion of Burke'sspeech; 'twas the noblest ever uttered by man!" "So I have been told. " "To-day you will hear nothing--know nothing, --there will be noopportunity, - Fox is all fury. " I told him he almost frightened me; for he spoke in a tremorhimself that was really unpleasant. "Oh!" cried he, looking at me half reproachfully, halfgoodhumouredly, "Fox's fury is with the Lords--not there!"pointing to Mr. Hastings. I saw by this he entered into my feelings in the midst of hisirritability, and that gave me courage to cry out, "I am glad ofthat at least!: Mr. Fox spoke five hours, and with a violence that did not makeme forget what I had heard of his being in such a fury but Ishall never give any account of these speeches, as they will allbe printed. I shall only say a word of the speakers as far asrelates to my own feelings about them, and that briefly will beto say that I adhere to Mr. Burke, whose oratorical powers appearto me far more gentleman-like, scholar-like, and fraught withtrue genius than those of Mr. Fox. It may be I am prejudiced byold kindnesses of Mr. Burke, and it may be that the countenanceof Mr. Fox may have turned me against him, for it struck me tohave a boldness in it quite hard and callous. However, it islittle matter how much my judgment in this point may err. Withyou, my dear friends, I have Page 129 nothing further to do than simply to give it ; and even should itbe wrong, it will not very essentially injure you in yourpolitics. MRS. CREWE, MR. BURKE, AND MR. WINDHAM. Again, on the fourth time of my attendance at Westminster Hall, honest James was my esquire. We were so late from divers accidents that we did not enter tillthe same moment with the prisoner. In descending the steps Iheard my name exclaimed with surprise, and looking before me, Isaw myself recognised by Mrs. Crewe. "Miss Burney, " she cried, "who could have thought of seeing you here!" Very obligingly she made me join her immediately, which, as I waswith no lady, was a very desirable circumstance; and though herpolitical principles are well known, and, of course, lead her toside with the enemies of Mr. Hastings, she had the good sense to conclude me on the other side, and the delicacynever once to distress me by any discussion of the prosecution. I was much disappointed to find nothing intended for this day'strial but hearing evidence; no speaker was preparing; all theattention was devoted to the witnesses. Mr. Adam, Mr. Dudley Long, and others that I know not, Came fromthe committee to chat with Mrs. Crewe; but soon after one camenot so unknown to me--Mr. Burke; and Mrs. Crewe, seeing himascend, named him to me, but was herself a little surprised tosee it was his purpose to name himself, for he immediately madeup to me, and with an air of such frank kindness that, could Ihave forgot his errand in that Hall, would have made me receivehim as formerly, when I was almost fascinated with him. But farother were my sensations. I trembled as he approached me, withconscious change of sentiments, and with a dread of his pressingfrom me a disapprobation he might resent, but which I knew nothow to disguise. "Near-sighted as I am, " cried he, "I knew you immediately. Iknew you from our box the moment I looked up; yet how long it is, except for an instant here, since I have seen you!" "Yes, " I hesitatingly answered, "I live in a monastery now. " He said nothing to this. He felt, perhaps, it was meant toexpress my inaccessibility. Page 130 I inquired after Mrs. Burke. He recounted to me the particularsof his sudden seizure when he spoke last, from the cramp in hisstomach, owing to a draught of cold water which he drank in themidst of the heat of his oration. I could not even wear a semblance of being sorry for him on thisoccasion; and my cold answers made him soon bend down to speakwith Mrs. Crewe. I was seated in the next row to her, just above. Mr. Windham was now talking with her. My whole curiosity anddesire being to hear him, which had induced me to make a point ofcoming this time, I was eager to know if my chance was whollygone. "You are aware, " I cried, when he spoke to me, "whatbrings me here this morning No;" he protested he knew not. Mrs. Crewe, again a little surprised, I believe, at this secondopposition acquaintance, began questioning how often I hadattended this trial. Mr. Windham, with much warmth of regret, told her very seldom, and that I had lost Mr. Burke on his best day. I then turned to speak to Mr. Burke, that I might not seemlistening, for they interspersed various civilities upon mypeculiar right to have heard all the great speeches, but Mr. Burke was in so profound a reverie he did not hear me. I wished Mr. Windham had not either, for he called upon himaloud, "Mr. Burke, Miss Burney speaks to you!" He gave me his immediate attention with an air so full of respectthat it quite shamed me. "Indeed, " I cried, " I had never meant to speak to Mr. Burkeagain after hearing him in Westminster Hall. I had meant to keepat least that " geographical timidity. " I alluded to an expression in his great speech of "geographicalmorality" which had struck me very much. He laughed heartily, instantly comprehending me, and assured meit was an idea that had occurred to him on the moment he haduttered it, wholly without study. A little general talk followed; and then, one of the lords risingto question some of the evidence, he said he must return to hiscommittee and business, -very flatteringly saying, in quitting hispost, "This is the first time I have played truant from themanager's box. " However I might be obliged to him, which sincerely I felt, I wasyet glad to have him go. My total ill will to all he was aboutmade his conversation merely a pain to me. Page 131 I did not feel the same With regard to Mr. Windham. He is notthe prosecutor, and seems endowed with so much liberality andcandour that it not Only encourages me to speak to him what Ithink, but leads me to believe he will one day or other reflectupon joining a party so violent as a stain to the independence ofhis character. Almost instantly he came forward, to the place Mr. Burke hadvacated. "Are you approaching, " I cried, "to hear my upbraidings?" "Why--I don't know, " cried he, looking half alarmed. "Oh! I give you warning, if you come you must expect them; so myinvitation is almost as pleasant as the man's in 'Measure forMeasure, ' who calls to Master Barnardine, 'Won't you come down tobe hanged?'" "But how, " cried he, "have I incurred your upbraidings?" "By bringing me here, " I answered, "only to disappoint me. " "Did I bring you here?" "Yes, by telling me you were to speak to-day. " He protested he could never have made such an assertion. Iexplained myself, reminding him he had told me he was certainlyto speak before the recess; and that, therefore, when I wasinformed this was to be the last day of trial till after therecess, I concluded I should be right, but found myself soutterly wrong as to hear nothing but such evidence as I Could noteven understand, because it was so uninteresting I could not evenlisten to it. "How strangely, " he exclaimed, "are we all moulded, that nothingever in this mortal life, however pleasant in itself, and howeverdesirable from its circumstances, can come to us without alloy--not even flattery; for here, at this moment, all the highgratification I should feel, and I am well disposed to feel itthoroughly in supposing you could think it worth your while tocome hither in order to hear me, is kept down and subdued by theconsciousness how much I must disappoint you. " "Not at all, " cried I; "the worse you speak, the better for myside of the question. " He laughed, but confessed the agitation of his spirits was sogreat in the thought of that speech, whenever he was to make it, that it haunted him in fiery dreams in his sleep. "Sleep!" cried I; "do you ever sleep?" He stared a little, but I added with pretended dryness, "Do anyof you that live down there in that prosecutor's den ever sleepin your beds? I should have imagined that, had you Page 132 even attempted it, the anticipating ghost of Mr. Hastings wouldhave appeared to you in the dead of the night, and have drawnyour curtains, and glared ghastly in your eyes. I do heartilywish Mr. Tickell would send You that 'Anticipation' at once!" This idea furnished us with sundry images, till, looking downupon Mr. Hastings, with an air a little moved, he said, "I amafraid the most insulting thing we do by him is coming up hitherto show ourselves so easy and disengaged, and to enter intoconversation with the ladies. " "But I hope, " cried I, alarmed, "he does not see that. " "Why your caps, " cried he, "are much in your favour forconcealment; they are excellent screens to all but the firstrow!" I saw him, however, again look at the poor, and, I sincerelybelieve, much-injured prisoner, and as I saw also he still boreWith my open opposition, I could not but again seize a favourablemoment for being more serious With him. "Ah, Mr. Windham, " I cried, "I have not forgot what dropped fromyou on the first day of this trial. " He looked a little surprised. "You, " I continued, "probably haveno remembrance of it, for you have been living ever since downthere; but I was more touched with what you said then, than withall I have since heard from all the others, and probably thanwith all I shall hear even from you again when you mount therostrum. " "You conclude, " cried he, looking very sharp, "I shall then bebetter steeled against that fatal candour?" "In fact, " cried I, "Mr. Windham, I do really believe yoursteeling to he factitious; notwithstanding you took pains toassure me your candour was but the deeper malice; and yet I willown, when once I have heard your speech, I have littleexpectation of ever having the honour of conversing with youagain. " "And why?" cried- he, starting back "what am I to say that youdenounce such a forfeit beforehand?" I could not explain; I left him to imagine; for, should he proveas violent and as personal as the rest, I had no objection to hispreviously understanding I could have no future pleasure indiscoursing with him. "I think, however, " I continued, with a laugh, "that since I havesettled this future taciturnity, I have a fair right in themeanwhile to say whatever comes uppermost. " Page 133 He agreed to this with great approvance. "Molière, you know, in order to obtain a natural opinion of hisplays, applied to an old woman: you upon the same principle, toobtain a natural opinion of political matters, should apply to anignorant one--for you will never, I am sure, gain it down there. " He smiled, whether he would or not, but protested this was theseverest stricture upon his committee that had ever yet beenuttered. MISS BURNEY'S UNBIASED SENTIMENTS. I told him as it was the last time he was likely to hear unbiasedsentiments upon this subject, it was right they should be spokenvery intelligibly. " And permit me, " I said, " to begin withwhat strikes me the most. Were Mr. Hastings really the culprithe is represented, he would never stand there. " "Certainly, " cried he, with a candour he could not suppress, "there seems something favourable in that; it has a Pod look; butassure yourself he never expected to see this day. " "But would he, if guilty, have waited its chance? Was not all theworld before him? Could he not have chosen any other place ofresidence ?" "Yes--but the shame, the disgrace of a flight?" "What is it all to the shame and disgrace of convicted guilt?" He made no answer. "And now, " I continued, "shall I tell you, just in the samesimple style, how I have been struck with the speakers andspeeches I have yet heard?" He eagerly begged me to go on. "The whole of this public speaking is quite new to me. I wasnever in the House of Commons. It is all a new creation to me. " "And what a creation it is he exclaimed. "how noble, howelevating! and what an inhabitant for it!" I received his compliment with great courtesy, as anencouragement. For me to proceed. I then began upon Mr. Burke;but I must give you a very brief summary of my speech, as itcould only be intelligible at full length from your having heardhis. I told him that his opening had struck me with the highestadmiration of his powers, from the eloquence, the imagination, the fire, the diversity of expression, and the ready flow oflanguage, with which he seemed gifted, in a most superior manner, for any and every purpose to which rhetoric Page 134 could lead. "And when he came to his two narratives, " Icontinued, "whence he related the particulars of those dreadfulmurders, he interested, he engaged, he at last overpowered me; Ifelt my cause lost. I Could hardly keep on my seat. My eyesdreaded a single glance towards a man so accused as Mr. Hastings;I wanted to sink on the floor, that they might be saved sopainful a sight. I had no hope he could clear himself; notanother wish in his favour remained. But When from thisnarration Mr. Burke proceeded to his own comments anddeclamation--when the charges of rapacity, cruelty, tyranny weregeneral, and made with all the violence of personal detestation, and continued and aggravated without any further fact orillustration; then there appeared more of study than of truth, more of invective than of justice; and, in short, so little ofproof to so much of passion, that in a very short time I began tolift up my head, my seat was no longer uneasy, my eyes wereindifferent which way they looked, or what object caught them;and before I was myself aware of the declension of Mr. Burke'spowers over my feelings, I found myself a mere spectator in apublic place, and looking all around it, with my opera-glass inmy hand. " His eyes sought the ground on hearing this, and with no othercomment than a rather uncomfortable shrug of the shoulders, heexpressively and concisely said--"I comprehend you perfectly!" This was a hearing too favourable to stop me; and Mr. Hastingsconstantly before me was an animation to my spirits which nothingless could have given me, to a manager of such a committee. I next, therefore, began upon Mr. Fox; and I ran through thegeneral matter of his speech, with such observations as hadoccurred to me in hearing it. "His violence, " I said, "had thatsort of monotony that seemed to result from its being factitious, and I felt less pardon for that than for any extravagance in Mr. Burke, whose excesses seemed at least to be unaffected, and, ifthey spoke against his judgment, spared his probity. Mr. Foxappeared to have no such excuse; he looked all good humour andnegligent ease the instant before he began a speech ofuninterrupted passion and vehemence, and he wore the samecareless and disengaged air the very instant he had finished. Adisplay of talents in which the inward man took so little sharecould have no powers of persuasion to those who saw them in thatlight and therefore. Page 135 however their brilliancy might be admired, they were useless totheir cause, for they left the mind of the hearer in the samestate that they found it. " After a short vindication of his friends, he said, "You havenever heard Pitt? You would like him beyond any othercompetitor. " And then he made his panegyric in very strong terms, allowing himto be equal, ready, splendid, wonderful!--he was in constantastonishment himself at his powers and success;--his youth andinexperience never seemed against him: though he mounted to hispresent height after and in opposition to such a vortex ofsplendid abilities, yet, alone and unsupported, he coped withthem all! And then, with conscious generosity, he finished amost noble éloge with these words: "Take--you may take--thetestimony of an enemy--a very confirmed enemy of Mr. Pitt's!" Not very confirmed, I hope! A man so liberal can harbour noenmity of that dreadful malignancy that sets mitigation atdefiance for ever. He then asked me if I had heard Mr. Grey? " No, " I answered ; " I can come but seldom, and therefore Ireserved myself for to-day. " "You really fill me with compunction, " he cried. "But if, indeed, I have drawn you into so cruel a waste of your time, theonly compensation I can make you will be carefully to keep fromyou the day when I shall really speak. " "No, " I answered, "I must hear you; for that is all I now waitfor to make up my final opinion. " "And does it all rest with me?--'Dreadful responsibility'--as Mr. Hastings powerfully enough expresses himself in his narrative. " "And can you allow an expression of Mr. Hastings's to bepowerful?--That is not like Mr. Fox, who, in acknowledging someone small thing to be right, in his speech, checked himself forthe acknowledgment by hastily saying 'Though I am no greatadmirer of the genius and abilities of the gentleman at thebar;'--as if he had pronounced a sentence in a parenthesis, between hooks, --so rapidly he flew off to what he couldpositively censure. " " And hooks they were indeed he cried. "Do not inform against me, " I continued, "and I will give you alittle more of Molière's old woman. " He gave me his parole, and looked very curious, Page 136 "Well then, --amongst the things most striking to an unbiasedspectator was that action of the orator that led him to look fullat the prisoner upon every hard part of the charge. There was nocourage in it, since the accused is so situated he must make noanswer; and, not being courage, to Molière's old woman it couldonly seem cruelty!" He quite gave up this point without a defence, except telling meit was from the habit of the House of Commons, as Fox, whochiefly had done this, was a most good-humoured man, and bynothing but habit would have been betrayed into such an error. "And another thing, " I cried, "which strikes those ignorant ofsenatorial licence, is this, --that those perpetual repetitions, from all the speakers, of inveighing against the power, therapacity, the tyranny, the despotism of the gentleman at the bar, being uttered now, when we see him without any power, withouteven liberty-con fined to that spot, and the only person in thislarge assembly who may not leave it when he will--when we seesuch a contrast to all we hear we think the simplest relationwould be sufficient for all purposes of justice, as all that goesbeyond plain narrative, instead of sharpening indignation, onlycalls to mind the greatness of the fall, and raises involuntarycommiseration!" "And you wish, " he cried, "to hear me? How you add to mydifficulties!--for now, instead of thinking of Lords, Commons, bishops, and judges before me, and of the delinquent and hiscounsel at my side, I shall have every thought and facultyswallowed up in thinking of who is behind me!" This civil speech put an end to Molière's old woman and hercomments; and not to have him wonder at her unnecessarily, Isaid, "Now, then, Mr. Windham, shall I tell you fairly what it isthat induced me to say all this to you?--Dr. Johnson!--what Ihave heard from him of Mr. Windham has been the cause of all thishazardous openness. " "'Twas a noble cause, " cried he, well pleased, "and noble hasbeen its effect! I loved him, indeed, sincerely. He has left achasm in my heart-a chasm in the world ! There was in him what Inever saw before, what I never shall find again! I lament everymoment as lost, that I might have spent in his society, and yetgave to any other. " How it delighted me to hear this just praise, thus warmlyuttered!--I could speak from this moment upon no other subject. I told him how much it gratified me; and we agreed Page 137 in comparing notes upon the very few opportunities his realremaining friends could now meet with of a similar indulgence, since so little was his intrinsic worth understood, while sodeeply all his foibles had been felt, that in general it wasmerely a matter of pain to hear him even named. How did we then emulate each other in calling to mind all hisexcellences! "His abilities, " cried Mr. Windham, "were gigantic, and always athand no matter for the subject, he had information ready foreverything. He was fertile, --he was universal. " My praise of him was of a still more solid kind, --his principles, his piety, his kind heart under all its rough coating: but I neednot repeat what I said, --my dear friends know every word. I reminded him of the airings, in which he gave his time with hiscarriage for the benefit of Dr. Johnson's health. "What anadvantage!" he cried, "was all that to myself! I had not merelyan admiration, but a tenderness for him, --the more I knew him, the stronger it became. We never disagreed ; even in politics, Ifound it rather words than things in which we differed. " "And if you could so love him, " cried I, "knowing him only in ageneral way, what would you have felt for him had you known himat Streatham?" I then gave him a little history of his manners and way of life, there, --his good humour, his sport, his kindness, hissociability, and all the many excellent qualities that, in theworld at large, were by so many means obscured. He was extremely interested in all I told him, and regrettinglysaid he had only known him in his worst days, when his health wasupon its decline, and infirmities were crowding- fast upon him. "Had he lived longer, " he cried, "I am satisfied I should havetaken to him almost wholly. I should have taken him to my heart!have looked up to him, applied to him, advised with him in allthe most essential occurrences of my life! I am sure, too, --though it is a proud assertion, --he would have liked me, also, better, had we mingled more. I felt a mixed fondness andreverence growing so strong upon me, that I am satisfied theclosest union would have followed his longer life. " I then mentioned how kindly he had taken his visit to him atLichfield during a severe illness, "And he left you, " I said, "abook ? " Page 138 "Yes, " he answered, "and he gave me one, also, just before hedied. 'You will look into this Sometimes, ' he said, 'and notrefuse to remember whence you had it. ' "(271) And then he added he had heard him speak of me, --and with so muchkindness, that I was forced not to press a recapitulation: yetnow I wish I had heard it. just before we broke up, "There Is nothing, " he cried, withenergy, "for which I look back upon myself with severerdiscipline than the time I have thrown away in other pursuits, that might else have been devoted to that wonderful man!" He then said he must be gone, --he was one in a committee of theHouse, and could keep away no longer. BURKE AND SHERIDAN MEET WITH COLD RECEPTIONS. I then again joined in with Mrs. Crewe, who, meantime, had hadmanagers without end to converse with her. But, very soon after, Mr. Burke mounted to the House ofCommons(272) again, and took the place left by Mr. Windham. I inquired very much after Mrs. Burke, and we talked of the spectacle, and its fine effect; and I ventured tomention, allusively, some of the digressive parts of the greatspeech in which I had heard him: but I saw him anxious forspeaking more to the point, and as I could not talk to him--theleading prosecutor--with that frankness of opposing sentimentswhich I used to Mr. Windham, I was anxious only to avoid talkingat all; and so brief was my speech, and so long my silences, that, of course, he was soon wearied into a retreat. Had he notacted such a part, with what pleasure should I have exertedmyself to lengthen his stay! Yet he went not in wrath: for, before the close, he came yet athird time, to say "I do not pity you for having to sit there solong, for, with you, sitting can now be no punishment. " "No, " cried I, "I may take rest for a twelvemonth back. " His sonalso came to speak to me; but, not long after, Page 139 Mrs. Crewe called upon me to say, "Miss Burney, Mr. Sheridan begsme to introduce him to you, for he thinks you have forgot him. " I did not feel very comfortable in this; the part he acts wouldtake from me all desire for his notice, even were his talents assingular as they are celebrated. Cold, therefore, was myreception of his salutations, though as civil as I could make it. He talked a little over our former meeting at Mrs. Cholmondeley's, and he reminded me of what he had there urged andpersuaded with all his might, namely, that I would write acomedy; and he now reproached me for my total disregard of hiscounsel and opinion. I made little or no answer, for I am always put out by such sortof discourse, especially when entered upon with such abruptness. Recollecting, then, that "Cecilia" had been published since thattime, he began a very florid flourish, saying he was in my debtgreatly, not only for reproaches about what I had neglected, butfor fine speeches about what I had performed. I hastilyinterrupted him with a fair retort, exclaiming, --"O if finespeeches may now be made, I ought to begin first---but know notwhere I should end!" I then asked after Mrs. Sheridan, and hesoon after left me. Mrs. Crewe was very obligingly solicitous our renewedacquaintance should not drop here; she asked me to name any dayfor dining with her, or to send to her at any time when I couldarrange a visit: but I was obliged to decline it, on the generalscore of wanting time. In the conclusion of the day's business there was much speaking, and I heard Mr. Fox, Mr. Burke, and several others; but the wholeturned extremely in favour of the gentleman at the bar, to thegreat consternation of the accusers, whose own witnesses gavetestimony, most unexpectedly, on the side of Mr. Hastings. We came away very late; my dear James quite delighted with thishappy catastrophe. AT WINDSOR AGAIN. March. -In our first journey to Windsor this month Mrs. Schwellenberg was still unable to go, and the party was Miss Planta, Colonel Wellbred, Mr. Fairly, Sir Joseph Banks, and Mr. Turbulent. Page 140 Sir Joseph was so exceedingly shy that we made no sort ofacquaintance. If instead of going round the world he had onlyfallen from the moon, he could not appear less versed in theusual modes of a tea-drinking party. But what, you will say, hasa tea-drinking party to do with a botanist, a man of science, apresident of the Royal Society? I left him, however, to the charge of Mr. Turbulent, the twocolonels becoming, as usual, my joint supporters. And Mr. Turbulent, in revenge, ceased not one moment to watch ColonelWellbred, nor permitted him to say a word, or to hear an answer, without some most provoking grimace. Fortunately, upon thissubject he cannot confuse me; I have not a sentiment aboutColonel Wellbred, for or against, that shrinks from examination. To-night, however, my conversation was almost wholly with him. Iwould not talk with Mr. Turbulent; I could not talk with SirJoseph Banks - and Mr. Fairly did not talk with me : he had hislittle son with him; he was grave and thoughtful, and seemedawake to no other pleasure than discoursing with that sweet boy. I believe I have forgotten to mention that Mrs. Gwynn had calledupon me one morning, in London, and left me a remarkably fineimpression of Mr. Bunbury's "Propagation of a Lie, " which I hadmentioned when she was at Windsor, with regret at having neverseen it. This I had produced here a month ago, to show to ourtea-party, and just as it was in the hands of Colonel Wellbred, his majesty entered the room; and, after looking at it a littlewhile, with much entertainment, he took it away to show it to thequeen and princesses. I thought it lost; for Colonel Wellbredsaid he concluded it would be thrown amidst the general hoard ofcuriosities, which, when once seen, are commonly ever afterforgotten, yet which no one has courage to name and to claim. This evening, however, the colonel was successful, and recoveredme my print. It is so extremely humorous that I was very glad toreceive it, and in return I fetched my last sketches, which Mr. William Locke had most kindly done for mewhen here last autumn, and indulged Colonel Wellbred with lookingat them, charging him at the same time to guard them from asimilar accident. I meant to show them myself to my royalmistress, who is all care, caution, and delicacy, to restore tothe right owner whatever she receives with a perfect knowledgewho the right owner is, Page 141 The second volume of the "Letters" of my reverenced Dr. Johnsonwas now lent me by her majesty; I found in them very frequentmention of our name, but nothing to alarm in the reading it. DEATH OF MRS. DELANY. April. -I have scarce a memorandum of this fatal month, in which Iwas bereft of the most revered of friends, and, perhaps, the mostperfect of women. (273) I am yet scarce able to settle whether toglide silently and resignedly--as far as I can--past all thismelancholy deprivation, or whether to go back once more to theever-remembered, ever-sacred scene that closed the earthlypilgrimage of my venerable, my sainted friend. I believe I heard the last words she uttered : I cannot learnthat she spoke after my reluctant departure. She finished withthat cheerful resignation, that lively hope, which always brokeforth when this last--awful--but, to her, most happy changeseemed approaching. Poor Miss Port and myself were kneeling by her bedside. She hadjust given me her soft hand; without power to see either of us, she felt and knew us. O, never can I cease to cherish theremembrance of the sweet, benign, holy voice with which shepronounced a blessing upon us both! We kissed her--and, with asmile all beaming--I thought it so--of heaven, she seemed then tohave taken leave of all earthly solicitudes. Yet then, eventhen, short as was her time on earth, the same soft humansensibility filled her for poor human objects. She would not bidus farewell--would not tell us she should speak with us no more--she only said, as she turned gently away from us, "And now--I'llgo to sleep!"--But, O, in what a voice she said it! I felt whatthe sleep would be; so did poor Miss Port. Poor, sweet, unfortunate girl! what deluges of tears did she shedover me! I promised her in that solemn moment my eternal regard, and she accepted this, my first protestation of any kind made toher, as some solace to her sufferings. Sacred shall I holdit!--sacred to my last hour. I believe, indeed, that angelicbeing had no other wish equally fervent. How full of days and full of honours was her exit! I shouldblush at the affliction of my heart in losing her, could I ever Page 142 believe excellence was given us here to love and to revere, yetgladly to relinquish. No, I cannot think it: the deprivation maybe a chastisement, but not a joy. We may submit to it withpatience; but we cannot have felt it with warmth where we lose itwithout pain, Outrageously to murmur, or sullenly to refuseconsolation--there, indeed, we are rebels against thedispensations of providence--and rebels yet more weak thanwicked; for what and whom is it we resist? what and who are wefor such resistance ? She bid me--how often did she bid me not grieve to lose her! Yetshe said, in my absence, she knew I must, and sweetly regrettedhow much I must miss her. I teach myself to think of herfelicity; and I never dwell upon that without faithfully feelingI would not desire her return. But, in every other channel inwhich my thoughts and feelings turn, I miss her with so sad avoid! She was all that I dearly loved that remained within myreach; she was become the bosom repository of all the livelongday's transactions, reflections, feelings, and wishes. Her ownexalted mind was all expanded when we met. I do not think sheconcealed from me the most secret thought of her heart; and whileevery word that fell from her spoke wisdom, piety, andinstruction, her manner had an endearment, her spirits a nativegaiety, and her smile, to those she loved, a tenderness soanimated. Blessed spirit! sweet, fair, and beneficent on earth!--O, gentlymayest thou now be at rest in that last home to which fearfully Ilook forward, yet not hopeless; never that--and sometimes withfullest, fairest, sublimest expectations! If to her it be givento plead for those she left, I shall not be forgotten in herprayer. Rest to her sweet soul! rest and everlasting peace toher gentle spirit! I saw my poor lovely Miss Port twice in every day, when in town, till after the last holy rites had been performed. I had nopeace away from her; I thought myself fulfilling a wish of thatsweet departed saint, in consigning all the time I had at my owndisposal to solacing and advising with her beloved niece, whoreceived this little offering with a sweetness that once againtwined her round my heart. . . . Poor Mrs. Astley, the worthy humble friend, rather than servant, of the most excellent departed, was the person whom, next to theniece, I most pitied. She was every way to be lamented: unfitfor any other service, but unprovided for in this, by the utter and most regretted inability of her much Page 143 attached mistress, who frequently told me that leaving poorAstley unsettled hung heavy on her mind. My dearest friends know, the success I had in venturing torepresent her worth and situation to my royal mistress. In themoment when she came to my room to announce his majesty'sgracious intention to pension Mrs. Astley here as housekeeper tothe same house, I really could scarce withhold myself fromfalling prostrate at her feet : I never felt such a burst ofgratitude but where I had no ceremonials to repress it. Joseph, too, the faithful footman, I was most anxious to secure in somegood service-- and I related my wishes for him to General Cary, who procured for him a place with his daughter, Lady Amherst. I forget if I have ever read you the sweet words that accompaniedto me the kind legacies left me by my honoured friend. I believenot. They were ordered to be sent me with the portrait ofSacharissa, and two medallions of their majesties: they wereoriginally written to accompany the legacy to the Bishop ofWorcester, Dr. Hurd, as you may perceive by the style, but it wasdesired they might also be copied:-- "I take this liberty, that my much esteemed and respected friendmay sometimes recollect a person who was so sensible of thehonour of her friendship and who delighted so much in herconversation and works. " Need I--O, I am sure I need not say with what tender, grateful, sorrowing joy I received these sweet pledges of her invaluableregard! To these, by another codicil, was added the choice of one of hermosaic flowers. And verbally, on the night but one before shedied, she desired I might have her fine quarto edition ofShakespeare, sweetly saying she had never received so muchpleasure from him in any other way as through my reading. THE HASTINGS TRIAL AND MR. WINDHAM AGAIN. The part of this month in which my Susanna was in town I kept nojournal at all. And I have now nothing to add but to copy thosememorandums I made of the trial on the day I went to WestminsterHall with my two friends, (274) previously to Page 144 the deep calamity on which I have dwelt. They told me they couldnot hear what Mr. Windham said; and there is a spirit in hisdiscourse more worth their hearing than any other thing I havenow to write. You may remember his coming straight from the managers, in theirfirst procession to their box, and beginning at once a mostanimated attack--scarcely waiting first to say "How do!"--beforehe exclaimed "I have a great quarrel with you--I am come nowpurposely to quarrel with you--you have done me mischiefirreparable--you have ruined me!" "Have I?" "Yes: and not only with what passed here, even setting thataside, though there was mischief enough here; but you have quiteundone me since!" I begged him to let me understand how. "I will, " he cried. "When the trial broke up for the recess Iwent into the country, purposing to give my whole time to studyand business; but, most unfortunately, I had just sent for a newset of 'Evelina;' and intending only to look at it, I was socruelly caught that I could not let it out of my hands, and havebeen living with nothing but the Branghtons ever since. " I could not but laugh, though on this subject 'tis alwaysawkwardly. "There was no parting with it, " he continued. "I could not shakeit off from me a moment!--see, then, every way, what mischief youhave done me!" He ran on to this purpose much longer, with great rapidity, andthen, suddenly, stopping, again said, "But I have yet anotherquarrel with you, and one you must answer. How comes it that themoment you have attached us to the hero and the heroine--theinstant you have made us cling to them so that there is nogetting disengaged--twined, twisted, twirled them round our veryheart-strings--how is it that then you make them undergo suchpersecutions? There is really no enduring their distresses, theirSuspenses, their perplexities. Why are you so cruel to allaround--to them and their readers?" I longed to say--Do you object to a persecution?--but I know hespells it prosecution. I could make no answer: I never can. Talking over one's ownwritings seems to me always ludicrous, because it cannot beimpartially, either by author or commentator; one feeling, Page 145 the other fearing, too much for strict truth and unaffectedcandour. When we found the subject quite hopeless as to discussion, hechanged it, and said "I have lately seen some friends of yours, and I assure you I gave you an excellent character to them: Itold them you were firm, fixed, and impenetrable to allconviction. " An excellent character, indeed! He meant to Mr. Francis andCharlotte. Then he talked a little of the business of the day and he told methat Mr. Anstruther was to speak. "I was sure of it, " I cried, , "by his manner when he entered themanagers' box. I shall know when you are to speak, Mr. Windham, before I hear you. , " He shrugged his shoulders a little uncomfortably. I asked him toname to me the various managers. He did ; adding, "Do you notlike to sit here, where you can look down upon the severalcombatants before the battle?" When he named Mr. Michael Angelo Taylor, I particularly desiredhe might be pointed out to me, telling him I had long wished to see him, from the companion given to him in one of the"Probationary Odes, " where they have coupled him with my dearfather, most impertinently and unwarrantably. "That, indeed, " he cried, "is a licentiousness in the press quiteintolerable--to attack and involve private characters in theirpublic lampoons! To Dr. Burney they could have no right; but Mr. Michael Angelo Taylor is fair game enough, and likes that or anyother way whatever of obtaining notice. You know what Johnsonsaid to Boswell of preserving fame?" "No. " "There were but two ways, " he told him, "of preserving; one wasby sugar, the other by salt. 'Now, ' says he, 'as the sweet way, Bozzy, you are but little likely to attain, I would have youplunge into vinegar, and get fairly pickled at once. ' And suchhas been the plan of Mr. Michael Angelo Taylor. With the sweethe had, indeed, little chance, so he soused into the other, headover ears. " We then united forces in repeating passages from various of the"Probationary Odes, " and talking over various of the managers, till Mr. Anstruther was preparing to speak, and Mr. Windham wentto his cell. I am sure you will remember that Mr. Burke came also, Page 146 and the panic with which I saw him, doubled by my fear lest heshould see that panic. When the speech was over, and evidence was filling up the day'sbusiness, Mr. Windham returned. Some time after, but I haveforgotten how, we were agreeing in thinking suspense, and allobscurity, in expectation or in opinion, almost the thing's mosttrying to bear in this mortal life, especially where they lead tosome evil construction. "But then, " cried he, "on the other hand, there is nothing sopleasant as clearing away a disagreeable prejudice; nothing SOexhilarating as the dispersion of a black mist, and seeing allthat had been black and gloomy turn out bright and fair. " "That, Sir, " cried I, "is precisely what I expect from thence, "pointing to the prisoner. What a look he gave me, yet he laughed irresistibly. "However, " I continued, "I have been putting my expectations fromyour speech to a kind of test. " "And how, for heaven's sake?" "Why, I have been reading--running over, rather--a set ofspeeches, in which almost the whole House made a part, upon theIndia bill ; and in looking over those I saw not one that had notin it something positively and pointedly personal, except Mr. Windham's. " "O, that was a mere accident. " "But it was just the accident I expected from Mr. Windham. I donot mean that there was invective in all the others, for in somethere was panegyric--plenty! but that panegyric was always sodirected as to convey more of severe censure to one party than ofreal praise to the other. Yours was all to the business, andhence I infer you will deal just so by Mr. Hastings. " "I believe, " cried he, looking at me very sharp, "you only wantto praise me down. You know what it is to skate a man down?" "No, indeed. " "Why, to skate a man down is a very favourite diversion among acertain race Of wags. It is only to praise, and extol, andstimulate him to double and treble exertion and effort, till, inorder to show his desert of such panegyric, the poor dupe makesso many turnings and windings, and describes circle after circlewith such hazardous dexterity, that, at last, down he drops inthe midst of his flourishes, to his own eternal disgrace, and their entire content. " page 147 I gave myself no vindication from this charge but a laugh; and wereturned to discuss speeches and speakers, and I expressed againmy extreme repugnance against all personality in these publicharangues, except in simply stating facts. " What say you, then, " cried he, " to Pitt?" He then repeated awarm and animated praise of his powers and his eloquence, butfinished with this censure: "He takes not, " cried he, "the grandpath suited to his post as prime minister, for he is personalbeyond all men ; pointed, sarcastic, cutting ; and it is in himpeculiarly unbecoming. The minister should be alwaysconciliating; the attack, the probe, the invective, belong to theassailant. " Then he instanced Lord North, and said much more on thesepolitical matters and maxims than I can possibly write, or couldat the time do more than hear; for, as I told him, I not only amno politician, but have no ambition to become one, thinking it byno means a female business. "THE QUEEN IS so KIND. " When he went to the managers' box, Mr. Burke again took hisplace, but he held it a very short time, though he was in highgood humour and civility. The involuntary coldness that resultsfrom internal disapprobation must, I am sure, have been seen, sothoroughly was it felt. I can only talk on this matter with Mr. Windham, who, knowing my opposite principles, expects to hearthem, and gives them the fairest play by his good humour, candour, and politeness. But there is not one other manager withwhom I could venture such openness. That Mr. Windham takes it all in good part is certainly amongstthe things he makes plainest, for again, after Mr. Burke's returnto the den, he came back. "I am happy, " cried I, "to find you have not betrayed me. " "Oh, no; I would not for the world. " "I am quite satisfied you have kept my counsel; for Mr. Burke hasbeen with me twice, and speaking with a good humour I could notelse have expected from him. He comes to tell me that he neverpities me for sitting here, whatever is going forward, as thesitting must be rest; and, indeed, it seems as if my cominghither was as much to rest my frame as to exercise my mind. " Page 148 "That's a very good idea, but I do not like to realize it ; I donot like to think of you and fatigue together. Is it so? Do youreally want rest?" "O, no. " "O, I am well aware yours is not a mind to turn complainer butyet I fear, and not for your rest only, but your time. How isthat; have you it, as you Ought, at your own disposal?" "Why not quite, " cried I, laughing. Good heaven! what aquestion, in a situation like mine! "Well, that is a thing I cannot bear to think of--that you shouldwant time. " "But the queen, " cried I, is so kind. " "That may be, " interrupted he, "and I am very glad of it butstill, time--and to you!" "Yet, after all, in the whole, I have a good deal, though alwaysUncertain. For, if sometimes I have not two minutes when Iexpect two hours, at other times I have two hours where Iexpected only two minutes. " "All that is nothing, if you have them not with certainty. Twohours are of no more value than two minutes, if you have them notat undoubted command. " Again I answered, "The queen is so kind;" determined to soundthat sentence well and audibly into republican ears. "Well, well, " cried he, "that may be some compensation to you, but to us, to all others, what compensation is there fordepriving you of time?" "Mrs. Locke, here, " cried I, "always wishes time could be bought, because there are so many who have more than they know what to dowith, that those who have less might be supplied veryreasonably. " "'Tis an exceeding good idea, " cried he, "and I am sure, if itcould be purchased, it ought to be given to YOU by act ofparliament, as a public donation and tribute. " There was a fineflourish! PERSONAL RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN WINDHAM AND HASTINGS. A little after, while we were observing Mr. Hastings, Mr. Windhamexclaimed, "He's looking up; I believe he is looking for you. " I turned hastily away, fairly saying, "I hope not. " Page 149 "Yes, he is; he seems as if he wanted to bow to you. " I shrankback. "No, he looks off; he thinks you in too bad company!" "Ah, Mr. Windham, " cried I, "you should not be sohardhearted towards him, whoever else may; and I could tell you, and I will tell you if you please, a very forciblereason. " He assented. "You must know, then, that people thereare in this world who scruple not to assert that there is a verystrong personal resemblance between Mr. Windham and Mr. Hastings;nay, in the profile, I see it myself at this moment and thereforeought not you to be a little softer than the rest, if merely insympathy?" He laughed very heartily; and owned he had heard of theresemblance before. "I could take him extremely well, " I cried, "for your uncle. " "No, no; if he looks like my elder brother, I aspire at no more. " "No, no; he is more like your uncle; he has just that air; heseems just of that time of life. Can You then be sounnatural as to prosecute him with this eagerness?" And then, once again, I ventured to give him a little touch ofMolière's old woman, lest he should forget that good and honestdame; and I told him there was one thing she particularlyobjected to in all the speeches that had yet been made, and hopedhis speech would be exempt from. He inquired what that was. "Why, she says she does not like to hear every orator complimentanother; every fresh speaker say, he leaves to the superiorability of his successor the prosecution of the business. " "O, no, " cried he, very readily, "I detest all that sort ofadulation. I hold it in the utmost contempt. " "And, indeed, it will be time to avoid it when your turn comes, for I have heard it in no less than four speeches already. " And then he offered his assistance about servants and carriages, and we all came away, our different routes; but my Fredy andSusan must remember my meeting with Mr. Hastings in coming out, and his calling after me, and saying, with a very comic sort ofpoliteness, "I must come here to have the pleasure of seeing MissBurney, for I see her nowhere else. " What a strange incident would have been formed had this rencontrehappened thus if I had accepted Mr. Windham's offered services !I am most glad I had not ; I should have felt myself aconspirator, to have been so met by Mr. Hastings. Page 150 DEATH OF YOUNG LADY MULGRAVE. May. -On the 17th of this month Miss Port bade her sad reluctantadieu to London. I gave what time I could command from MissPort's departure to my excellent and maternal Mrs. Ord, whosupported herself with unabating fortitude and resignation. Buta new calamity affected her much, and affected me greatly also, though neither she nor I were more than distant spectators incomparison with the nearer mourners; the amiable and lovely LadyMulgrave gave a child to her lord, and died, in the first dawn ofyouthful beauty and sweetness, exactly a year after she becamehis wife. 'Twas, indeed, a tremendous blow. It was all ourwonder that Lord Mulgrave kept his senses, as he had not beenfamed for patience or piety; but I believe he was benignlyinspired with both, from his deep admiration of their excellencein his lovely wife. AGAIN AT WINDSOR. I must mention a laughable enough circumstance. Her majestyinquired of me if I had ever met with- Lady Hawke? "Oh yes, " Icried, "and Lady Say and Sele too. " " She has just desiredpermission to send me a novel of her own Writing, " answered hermajesty. "I hope, " cried I, "'tis not the 'Mausoleum of Julia!'" But yes, it proved no less ! and this she has now published andsends about. You must remember Lady Say and Sele's quotationfrom it. (275) Her majesty was so gracious as to lend it me, forI had some curiosity to read it. It is all of a piece: all love, love, love, unmixed and unadulterated with any more worldlymaterials. I read also the second volume of the "Paston Letters, " and foundtheir character the same as in the first, and therefore read themwith curiosity and entertainment. The greater part of the month was spent, alas! at Windsor, withwhat a dreary vacuity of heart and of pleasure I need not say. The only period of it in which my spirits could be commanded torevive was during two of the excursions in which Mr. Fairly wasof the party; and the sight of him, calm, mild, nay cheerful, under such superior sorrows-- --struck me with that sort ofedifying admiration that led me, perforce, to the best Page 151 exertion in my power for the conquest of my deep depression. IfI did this from conscience in private, from a sense of obligationto him in public I reiterated my efforts, as I received from himall the condoling softness and attention he could possibly havebestowed upon me had my affliction been equal or even greaterthan his own. ANOTHER MEETING WITH MR. CRUTCHLEY. On one of the Egham race days the queen sent Miss Planta and meon the course, in one of the royal coaches, with Lord Templetonand Mr. Charles Fairly, (276) for our beaux. Lady Templeton wasthen at the Lodge, and I had the honour of two or threeconferences with er during her stay. On the course, we wereespied by Mr. Crutchley, who instantly devoted himself to myservice for the morning--taking care of our places, namingjockeys, horses, bets, plates, etc. , and talking between times ofStreatham and all the Streathamites. We were both, I believe, very glad of this discourse. He pointed out to me where hishouse stood, in a fine park, within sight of the race-ground, andproposed introducing me to his sister, who was his housekeeper, and asking me if, through her invitation, I would come to SunningHill park. I assured him I lived so completely in a monasterythat I could make no new acquaintance. He then said he expectedsoon Susan and Sophy Thrale on a visit to his sister, and hepresumed I would not refuse coming to see them. I truly answeredI should rejoice to do it if in my power, but that most probablyI must content myself with meeting them on the Terrace. Hepromised to bring them there with his sister, though he had givenup that walk these five years. It will give me indeed great pleasure to see them again. MR. TURBULENT'S TROUBLESOME PLEASANTRIES. My two young beaux Stayed dinner with us, and I afterwardsstrolled upon the lawn with them till tea-time. I could not goon the Terrace, nor persuade them to go on by themselves. Webacked as the royal party returned home; and when they had allentered the house, Colonel Wellbred, who had stood aloof, quittedthe train to join our little society. "Miss Page 152 Burney, " he cried, "I think I know which horse you betted upon! Cordelia!" "For the name's sake you think it, " I cried; and he began somequestions and comments upon the races, when suddenly the windowof the tea-room opened, and the voice of Mr. Turbulent, with amost sarcastic tone, called out, "I hope Miss Burney and ColonelWellbred are well!" We could neither Of us keep a profound gravity, though really hedeserved it from us both. I turned from the Colonel, and said Iwas coming directly to the tea-room. Colonel Wellbred would have detained me to finish Our racediscourse, for he had shut the window when he had made hisspeech, but I said it was time to go in. "Oh no, " cried he, laughing a little, "Mr. Turbulent only wantshis own tea, and he does not deserve it for this!" In, however, I went, and Colonel Manners took the famous chairthe instant I was seated. We all began race talk, but Mr. Turbulent, approaching very significantly, said, "Do you want achair On the other side, ma'am? Shall I tell the colonel-to bringone?" "No, indeed cried I, half seriously, lest he should do it. . . . Colonel Wellbred, not knowing what had passed, came to that sameother side, and renewed his conversation. In the midst of allthis Mr. Turbulent hastily advanced with a chair, saying, "Colonel Wellbred, I cannot bear to see you standing so long. " I found it impossible not to laugh under My hat, though I reallywished to bid him stand in a corner for a naughty boy. Thecolonel, I suppose, laughed too, whether he would or not, for Iheard no answer. However, he took the chair, and finding mewholly unembarrassed by this polissonnerie, though not whollyunprovoked by it, he renewed his discourse, and kept his seattill the party, very late, broke up; but Colonel Manners, whoknew not what to make of all this, exclaimed, "Why, ma'am, youcannot keep Mr. Turbulent in much order. " June. -Mrs. Schwellenberg came to Windsor with us after thebirthday, for the rest of the summer. Mr. Turbulent took a formal leave of me at the same time, as hiswife now came to settle at Windsor, and he ceased to belong toour party. He only comes to the princesses at stated hours, andthen returns to his own home. He gave me many serious thanks forthe time passed with me, spoke in flourishing Page 153 terms of its contrast to former times, and vowed no compensationcould ever be made him for the hours he had thrown away bycompulsion on "The Oyster. "(277) His behaviour altogether wasvery well--here and there a little eccentric, but, in the main, merely good-humoured and high-spirited. COLONEL FAIRLY AND SECOND ATTACHMENTS. I am persuaded there is no manner of truth in the report relativeto Mr. Fairly and Miss Fuzilier, for he led me into a longconversation with him one evening when the party was large, andall were otherwise engaged, upon subjects of this nature, in thecourse of which he asked me if I thought any second attachmentcould either be as strong or as happy as a first. I was extremely surprised by the question, and quite unpreparedhow to answer it, as I knew not with what feelings or intentionsI might war by any unwary opinions. I did little, therefore, butevade and listen, though he kept up the discourse in a veryanimated manner, till the party all broke up. Had I spoken without any consideration but what was general andgenuine, I should have told him that my idea was simply this, that where a first blessing was withdrawn by providence, not lostby misconduct, it seemed to me most consonant to reason, nature, and mortal life, to accept what could come second, in this as inall other deprivations. Is it not a species of submission to thedivine will to make ourselves as happy as we can in what is leftus to obtain, where bereft of what we had sought? My ownconflict for content in a life totally adverse to my owninclinations, is all built on this principle, and when itsucceeds, to this owes its success. I presumed not, however, to talk in this way to Mr. Fairly, for Iam wholly ignorant in what manner or to what degree his firstattachment may have rivetted his affections; but by the whole ofwhat passed it seemed to me very evident that he was not merelyentirely without any engagement, but entirely at this timewithout any plan or scheme of forming any; and probably he nevermay. (257) "Selections from the State Papers preserved in the ForeignDepartment of the Government of India, 1772-1785, " Edited by G. W. Forrest, VOL i. P, 178. (258) "Warren Hastings, " by Sir Alfred Lyall, p. 54. (259) Selections from State Papers, " vol. I. P. Xlviii. (260) In his defence at the bar of the House of Commons, (Feb. 4th, 1788) Sir Elijah Impey attempted to justify his conduct byprecedent, but the single precedent on which he relied does notprove much in his favour. A Hindoo, named Radachund Metre, wascondemned to death for forgery in 1765, but was pardoned on thisvery ground, that capital punishment for such a crime was unheardof in India. (261) Speech on Mr. Fox's East India Bill, Dec. 1st, 1783, (262) Fanny's brother, the scholar. He was, at this time, masterof a school at Hammersmith-ED. (263) Windham had introduced and carried through the House ofCommons the charge respecting Fyzoolla Khan, the Nawab ofRampore; but this charge, with many others of the originalarticles of impeachment, was not proceeded upon at the trial. Fyzoolla Khan was one of the Rohilla chiefs, who, more fortunatethan the rest, had been permitted by treaty, after the conquestof Rohilcund in 17 74, to retain possession of Rampore as avassal of the Vizier of Oude. By this treaty the Nawab ofRampore was empowered to maintain an army of 5, 000 horse and footin all and in return he bound himself to place from 2, 000 to3, 000 troops at the disposal of the Vizier whenever thatassistance might be required. In November, 1780, the Vizier, orrather, Hastings, speaking by the mouth of the Vizier, calledupon Fyzoolla Khan to furnish forthwith a contingent of 5, 000horse. The unhappy Nawab offered all the assistance in hispower, but not only Was the demand unwarranted by the terms ofthe treaty, but the number of horse required was far greater thanhe had the means to furnish. Thereupon Mr. Hastings gavepermission to the Vizier to dispossess his vassal of hisdominions. This iniquitous scheme, however, was never carriedout, and in 1782, Fyzoolla Khan made his peace with theGovernor-General, and procured his own future exemption frommilitary service, by payment of a large sum of money. -ED. (264) Mr. Hastings's enemy was Mr. Afterwards Sir Philip Francis, by some people supposed to have been the author of "Junius'sLetters. " The best friend of Mr. Hastings here alluded to wasClement Francis, Esq. Of Aylsham, in Norfolk, who marriedCharlotte, fourth daughter of Dr. Burney. [Francis, though anactive supporter of the impeachment, was not one of the"managers. " He had been nominated to the committee by Burke, butrejected by the House, on the ground of his well-known animosityto Hastings. -ED. ) (265) After all, Impey escaped impeachment. In December, 1787, Sir Gilbert Elliot, one of the managers of Hastings' impeachment, brought before the House of Commons six charges against Impey, ofwhich the first, and most serious, related to the death ofNuncomar. The charges were referred to a committee, before whichImpey made his defence, February 4, 1788. On May 9, a divisionwas taken on the first charge, and showed a majority of eighteenin favour of Impey. The subject was resumed, May 27, and finallydisposed of by the rejection of sir Gilbert Elliot's motionwithout a division-ED. (266) Saturday, February 16, 1788. -ED. (267) Macaulay attributes perhaps too exclusively to Courtinfluence Fanny's prepossession in favour of Hastings. It shouldbe remembered that her family and many of her friends were, equally with herself, partisans of Hastings, to whom, moreover, she had been first introduced by a much valued friend, Mr. Cambridge (see ante, vol. I. , P. 326). -ED. (268) "Miss Fuzilier" is the name given in the "Diary" to MissCharlotte Margaret Gunning, daughter of Sir Robert Gunning. Shemarried Colonel Digby ("Mr. Fairly") in 1790. -ED. (269) This would seem to fix the date as Thursday, February 21, Thursday being mentioned by Fanny as the Court-day (see ante, p. 125). According, however, to Debrett's "History of the Trial, "Fox spoke on the charge relating to Cheyt Sing on Friday, February 22, the first day of the Court's sitting since thepreceding Tuesday. -ED. ' (270) The managers had desired that each charge should be takenseparately, and replied to, before proceeding to the next. Hastings's counsel, on the other hand, demanded that all thecharges should be presented before the defence was opened. TheLords, by a large majority, decided against the managers. -ED. (271) Windham relates that when he called upon Dr. Johnson, sixdays before his death, Johnson put into his hands a copy of theNew Testament, saying "Extremum hoc mumus morientis habeto. " Seethe extracts from Windham's journal in Croker's "Boswell, " v. , 326. In a codicil to Johnson's will, dated Dec. 9, 1784, we find, among other bequests of books, "to Mr. Windham, PoeteGreci Henrici per Henriculum Stephanum. "-ED. (272) i. E. To the benches assigned to the Commons in WestminsterHall. These immediately adjoined the chamberlain's box in whichMiss Burney was seated. -ED. (273) Mrs. Delany died on the 15th of April, 1788. -ED. (274) Her sister Susan and Mrs. Locke. The day referred to musthave been Friday, April 11th, on which day Mr. Anstruther spokeon the charge relating to Cheyt Sing. -ED. (275) See ante, vol. 1, p. 220. -ED. (276) The young son of Colonel Digby. -ED. (277) Mrs. Haggerdorn, Fanny's predecessor in office. See ante, p. 26. -ED. Page 154 SECTION 13 (1788. ) ROYAL VISIT TO CHELTENHAM. (Since her establishment at Court we have not yet found Fanny socontent with her surroundings as she shows herself in thefollowing section of the " Diary. " The comparative quiet ofcountry life at Cheltenham was far more to her taste than thetiresome splendours of Windsor and St. James's. She had still, it is true, her official duties to perform : it was Court lifestill, but Court life en déshabille. But her time was otherwisemore at her own disposal, and, above all things, the absence of"Cerbera, " as she nicknamed the amiable Mrs. Schwellenberg andthe presence of Colonel Digby, contributed to restore to herharassed mind that tranquillity which is so pleasantly apparentin the following pages. In the frequent society of Colonel Digby Fanny seems to havefound an enjoyment peculiarly adapted to her reserved andsensitive disposition. The colonel was almost equally retiringand sensitive with herself, and his natural seriousness wasdeepened by sorrow for the recent loss of his wife. Asimilarity of tastes, as well as (in some respects) ofdisposition, drew him continually to Fanny's tea-table, and thegentleness of his manners, the refined and intellectual characterof his conversation, so unlike the Court gossip to which she wasusually condemned to remain a patient listener, caused her moreand more to welcome his visits and to regret his departure. "Howunexpected an indulgence, " she writes, "a luxury, I may say, tome, are these evenings now becoming!" The colonel reads to her--poetry, love-letters, even sermons, and while she listens tosuch reading, and such a reader, her work goes on with analacrity that renders it all pleasure. The friendship which grewup between them was evidently, at least on the part of Fanny, ofa more than ordinarily tender description. Whether, hadcircumstances permitted, it might have ripened into a feeling yetmore tender, must remain a matter of speculation. Circumstancesdid not permit, and in after years both married elsewhere. -ED. ] Page 155 THE ROYAL PARTY AND THEIR SUITE. July. -Early in this month the king's indisposition occasionedthe plan of his going to Cheltenham, to try the effect of thewaters drank upon the spot. It was settled that the party shouldbe the smallest that was possible, as his majesty was to inhabitthe house of Lord Fauconberg, vacated for that purpose, which wasvery small. He resolved upon only taking his equerry in waitingand pages, etc. Lord Courtown, his treasurer of the household, was already at Cheltenham, and therefore at hand to attend. The queen agreed to carry her lady of the bedchamber in waiting, with Miss Planta and F. B. , and none others but wardrobe-womenfor herself and the princesses. Mr. Fairly was here almost all the month previously to ourdeparture. At first it was concluded he and Colonel Gwynn, theequerry in waiting, were to belong wholly to the same table withMiss Planta and me, and Mr. Fairly threatened repeatedly how wellwe should all know one another, and how well he would study andknow us all au fond. But before we set out the plan was all changed, for the kingdetermined to throw aside all state, and make the two gentlemendine at his own table. "We shall have, therefore, " said Mr. Fairly, with a very civil regret, "no tea-meetings atCheltenham. " This, however, was an opening- to me of time and leisuresuch as I had never yet enjoyed. Now, my dearest friends, I open an account which promises atleast all the charms of novelty, and which, if it fulfils itspromise, will make this month rather an episode than acontinuation of my prosaic performance. So now for yesterday, Saturday, July 12. We were all up at five o'clock; and the noise and confusionreigning through the house, and resounding all around it, fromthe quantities of people stirring, boxes nailing, horsesneighing, and dogs barking, was tremendous. I must now tell you the party:--Their majesties; the princessesRoyal, Augusta, and Elizabeth; Lady Weymouth, Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, Miss Planta, and a person you have sometimes met; pages for king, queen, and princesses, ward- Page 156 robe-women for ditto, and footmen for all. A smaller party for aroyal excursion cannot well be imagined. How we shall all manageheaven knows. Miss Planta and myself are allowed no maid; thehouse would not hold one. The royal party set off first, to stop and breakfast at LordHarcourt's at Nuneham. You will easily believe Miss Planta andmyself were not much discomfited in having orders to proceedstraight forward. You know we have been at Nuneham! Mrs. Sandys, the queen's wardrobe-woman, and Miss Macentomb, theprincesses', accompanied us. At Henley-on-Thames, at an innbeautifully situated, we stopped to breakfast, and at Oxford totake a sort of half dinner. LOYALTY NOT DAMPED BY THE RAIN. The crowd gathered together upon the road, waiting for the kingand queen to pass, was immense, and almost unbroken from Oxfordto Cheltenham. Every town and village within twenty miles seemedto have been deserted, to supply all the pathways with groups ofanxious spectators. Yet, though so numerus, so quiet were they, and so new to the practices of a hackneyed mob, that theircuriosity never induced them to venture within some yards of theroyal carriage, and their satisfaction never broke forth intotumult and acclamation. In truth, I believe they never were aware of the moment in whichtheir eagerness met its gratification. Their majesties travelledwholly without guards or state; and I am convinced, from the timewe advanced beyond Oxford, they were taken only for their ownattendants. All the towns through which we passed were filled with people, asclosely fastened one to another as they appear in the pit of theplayhouse. Every town seemed all face; and all the way upon theroad we rarely proceeded five miles without encountering a bandof most horrid fiddlers, scraping "God save the king" with alltheir might, out of tune, out of time, and all in the rain; for, most unfortunately, there were continual showers falling all theday. This was really a subject for serious regret, such numbersof men, women, and children being severely sufferers; yetstanding it all through with such patient loyalty, that I ampersuaded not even a hail or thunder storm would have dispersedthem. The country, for the most part, that we traversed, was ex- Page 157 tremely pretty; and, as we advanced nearer to our place Ofdestination, it became quite beautiful. ARRIVAL AT FAUCONBERG HALL. When we arrived at Cheltenham, which is almost all one street, extremely long, clean and well paved, we had to turn out of thepublic way about a quarter of a mile, to proceed to FauconbergHall, which my Lord Fauconberg has lent for the king's use duringhis stay at this place. it is, indeed, situated on a most sweet spot, surrounded withlofty hills beautifully variegated, and bounded, for theprincipal object, with the hills of Malvern, Which, herebarren, and there cultivated, here all chalk, and there allverdure, reminded me of How hill, and gave Me an immediatesensation of reflected as well as of visual pleasure, from givingto my new habitation some resemblance of NorbUry park. When we had mounted the gradual ascent on whichthe house stands, the crowd all around it was as one head! We stopped withintwenty yards of the door, uncertain how to proceed. All theroyals were at the windows; and to pass this multitude--to wadethrough it, rather, --was a mostdisagreeable operation. However, we had no choice: we thereforegot out, and, leaving the wardrobe-women to find the way to theback-door, Miss Planta and I glided on to the front one, where wesaw the two gentlemen and where, as soon as we got up the steps, we encountered the king. He inquiredmost graciously concerning our journey; and Lady Weymouth camedown-stairs to summon me to the queen, who was in excellentspirits, and said she would show me her room. "This, ma'am!" cried I, as I entered it--"is this little room foryour majesty?" "O stay, " cried she, laughing, "till you see your own before youcall it 'little'. " Soon after, she sent me upstairs for that purpose ; and then, tobe sure, I began to think less diminutively of that I had justquitted. Mine, with one window, has just space to crowd in a bed, a chestof drawers, and three small chairs. The prospect from the window, is extremely pretty, and all ISnew and clean. So I doubt not being very comfortable, as I amsenza Cerbera, (278)--though having no maid is a real evil to Page 158 one so little her own mistress as myself. I little wanted thefagging of my own clothes and dressing, to add to my dailyfatigues. I began a little unpacking and was called to dinner. Columb, happily, is allowed me, and he will be very useful, I am sure. Miss alone dined with me, and we are to be companions constant atall meals, and t`ete-`a-t`ete, during this sejour. She isfriendly and well disposed, and I am perfectly content; and themore, as I know she will not take up my leisure Unnecessarily, for she finds sauntering in the open air very serviceable to herhealth, and she has determined to make that her chief occupation. Here, therefore, whenever I am not in attendance, or at meals, Iexpect the singular comfort of having my time wholly unmolested, and at my own disposal. THE TEA-TABLE DIFFICULTY. A little parlour, which formerly had belonged to LordFauconberg's housekeeper, is now called mine, and here MissPlanta and myself are to breakfast and dine. But for tea weformed a new plan: as Mr. Fairly had himself told me heunderstood there would be no tea-table at Cheltenham, Idetermined to stand upon no ceremony with Colonel Gwynn, butfairly and at once take and appropriate my afternoons to my owninclinations. To prevent, therefore, any surprise or alteration, we settled to have our tea upstairs. But then a difficulty arose as to where ? We had each equallysmall bed-rooms, and no dressing-room; but, at length, we fixedon the passage, near a window looking over Malvern hills and muchbeautiful country. This being arranged, we went mutually on with our unpackings, till we were both too thirsty to work longer. Having no maid tosend, and no bell to ring for my man, I then made out my waydownstairs, to give Columb directions for our teaequipage. After two or three mistakes, of peering into royal rooms, I atlength got safe to my little parlour, but still was at a losswhere to find Columb; and while parading in and out, in hopes ofmeeting with some assistant, I heard my name inquired for fromthe front door. I looked out, and saw Mrs. Tracy, seniorbedchamber-woman to the queen. She is at Cheltenham for herhealth, and came to pay her duty in inquiries, and so forth. Page 159 I conducted her to my little store-room, for such it looks, fromits cupboards and short checked window curtains; and we chattedupon the place and the expedition, till Columb came to tell methat Mr. Fairly desired to speak with me. I waited upon himimmediately, in the passage leading to the kitchen stairs, forthat was my salle d'audience. He was with Lord Courtown; they apologised for disturbing me, butMr. Fairly said he came to solicit leave that they might join mytea-table for this night only, as they would give orders to besupplied in their own apartments the next day, and not intrudeupon me any more, nor break into my time and retirement. This is literally the first instance I have met, for now twowhole years, of being understood as to my own retiringinclinations; and it is singular I should first meet with it fromthe only person who makes them waver. I begged them to come in, and ordered tea. They are wellacquainted with Mrs. Tracy, and I was very glad she happened tostay. Poor Miss Planta, meanwhile, I was forced to leave in the lurch;for I could not propose the bed-room passage to my presentcompany, and she was undressed and unpacking. Very soon the king, searching for his gentlemen, found out myroom, and entered. He admired It prodigiously, and inquiredconcerning all our accommodations. He then gave Mr. Fairly acommission to answer an address, or petition, or some such thingto the master of the ceremonies, and, after half an hour's chat, retired. Colonel Gwynn found us out also, but was eager to find out morecompany, and soon left us to go and look over the books at therooms, for the list of the company here. A TETE-A-TETE WITH COLONEL FAIRLY. After tea Mrs. Tracy went, and the king sent for Lord Courtown. Mr. Fairly was going too, and I was preparing to return upstairsto my toils; but he presently changed his design, and asked leaveto stay a little longer, if I was at leisure. At leisure Icertainly was not but I was most content to work double tides forthe pleasure of his company, especially where given thusvoluntarily, and not accepted officially. Page 160 What creatures are we all for liberty and freedom! Rebelspartout! "Soon as the life-blood warms the heart, The love of liberty awakes!" Ah, my dear friends! I wrote that with a sigh that might havepierced through royal walls! >From this circumstance we entered into discourse with no littlespirit. I felt flattered, and he knew he had given me de quoi:so we were both in mighty good humour. Our sociability, however, had very soon an interruption. The king re-entered ; he startedback at sight of our diminished party, and exclaimed, with a sortof arch surprise, "What! only You two?" Mr. Fairly laughed a little, and Ismiled ditto! But I had ratherhis majesty had made such a comment on any other of hisestablishment, if make it he must; since I am sure Mr. Fairly'saversion to that species of raillery is equal to my Own. The king gave some fresh orders about the letter, and instantlywent away. As soon as he was gone, Mr. Fairly, --perhaps to showhimself superior to that little sally, --asked me whether he mightwrite his letter in my room? "O yes, " cried I, with all the alacrity of the same superiority. He then went in search of a page, for pen and ink, and told me, on returning, that the king had just given orders for writingimplements for himself and Colonel Gwynn to be placed in thedining-parlour, of which they were, henceforth, to have the useas soon as the dinner-party had separated; and after to-night, therefore, he should intrude himself upon me no more. I had half a mind to say I was very sorry for it! Iassure you I felt so. He pretended to require my assistance in his letter, andconsulted and read over all that he writ. So I gave my opinionas he went on, though I think it really possible he might havedone without me! Away then he went with it, to dispatch it by a royal footman; andI thought him gone, and was again going myself, when hereturned, --surprising me not a little by saying. As he held thedoor in his hand, "Will there be any--impropriety--in my stayinghere a little logger?" I must have said no, if I had thought yes; but it would not havebeen so plump and ready a no! and I should not, with Page 161 quite so courteous a grace, have added that his stay could do menothing but honour. On, therefore, we sat, discoursing on various subjects, till thetwilight made him rise to take leave. He was in much betterspirits than I have yet seen him, and I know not when I havespent an hour more socially to my taste. Highly cultivated bybooks, and uncommonly fertile in stores of internal resource, heleft me nothing to wish, for the time I spent with him, but that"the Fates, the Sisters Three, and suchlike branches oflearning, " would interfere against the mode of future separationplanned for the remainder of our expedition. Need I morestrongly than this mark the very rare pleasure I received fromhis conversation? Not a little did poor Miss Planta marvel what had become of me;and scarce less was her marvel when she had heard my adventures. She had told me how gladly the gentlemen would seize theopportunity of a new situation, to disengage themselves from thejoint tea-table, and we had mutually agreed to use all meanspossible for seconding this partition; but I had been too wellsatisfied this night, to make any further efforts about thematter, and I therefore inwardly resolved to let the future takecare of itself--certain it could not be inimical to me, sinceeither it must give me Mr. Fairly in a party, or time for my owndisposal in solitude. This pleasant beginning has given a spirit to all my expectationsand my fatigues in this place; and though it cost me near twohours from my downy pillow to recover lost time, I stole themwithout repining, and arose--dead asleep--this morning, without amurmur. THE KING's GENTLEMEN AND THE QUEEN's LADIES. Sunday, July 13--I was obliged to rise before six o'clock, that Imight play the part of dresser to myself, before I played it tothe queen; so that did not much recruit the fatigues ofyesterday's rising and journey! Not a little was I surprised tobe told, this morning, by her majesty, that the gentlemen were tobreakfast with Miss Planta and me, every morning, by the king'sorders. When I left the queen, I found them already in my little parlour. Mr. Fairly came to the door to meet me, and hand me into theroom, telling me of the new arrangement of the king, with an airof very civil satisfaction. Colonel Gwynn Page 162 appeared precisely as I believe he felt, -perfectly indifferent tothe matter. Miss Planta joined us, and Columb was hurried to getready, lest the king should summon his esquires before they hadbroken their fast. Mr. Fairly undertook to settle our seats, andall the etiquette of the tea-table; and I was very well content, for when he had placed me where he conceived I should be mostcommodiously situated, he fixed upon the place next me forhimself, and desired we might all keep to our posts. It was nextagreed, that whoever came first to the room should order and makethe tea; for I must often be detained by my waiting, and the kingis so rapid in his meals, that whoever attends him must be rapidalso, or follow fasting. Mr. Fairly said he shouldalready have hastened Columb, had he not apprehended it might betoo great a liberty ; for they had waited near half an hour, andexpected a call every half minute. I set him perfectly at hisease upon this subject, assuring him I should be very little atmine if he had ever the same scruple again. He had been inwaiting, he said, himself, ever since a quarter after fiveo'clock in the morning, at which time he showed himself under theking's window, and walked before the house till six! I wasbeginning to express my compassion for this harass, but heinterrupted me with shrewdly saying, " "O, this will save future fatigue, for it will establish me sucha character for early rising and punctuality, that I may now doas I will: 'tis amazing what privileges a man obtains for takingliberties, when once his character is established for takingnone. " Neither Miss Planta nor myself could attempt going to church, wehad both so much actual business to do for ourselves, inunpacking, and fitting up our rooms, etc. The rest of the day wasall fasting, till the evening, and then--who should enter mylittle parlour, after all the speechifying Of only one night, "made yesterday, but Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Lord Courtown! Whether this, again, is by the king's command, or in consequenceof the morning arrangement, I know not: but not a word more hasdropped of "no evening tea-table;" so, whether we are to unite, or to separate, in future, I know not, and, which is far moreextraordinary, I care not! Nobody but you could imagine whata compliment that is, from me! I had made Miss Planta promise, in case such a thing should happen, to come down; and she wasvery ready, and Page 163 we had a very cheerful evening. Great difficulties, however, arose about our tea-equipage, So few things are brought, or atleast are yet arrived, that Columb is forced to be summoned everyother moment, and I have no bell, and dare not, for this shorttime, beg for one, as my man herds with the King's men; besides, I have no disposition to make a fuss here, where every body takesup with every thing that they get. In lamenting, however, the incessant trouble I was obliged togive the gentlemen, of running after Columb, I told Mr. Fairly myobligation, at Windsor, to Colonel Wellbred, for my bell there. "O yes, " cried he, laughing, "I am not surprised; ColonelWellbred is quite the man for a 'belle!'" "Yes, " cried I, "that he is indeed, and for a 'beau' too. " "O ho! you think him so, do you?" quoth he: to which my promptassent followed. ROYALTY CROWDED AT FAUCONBERG HALL. The royal family had all been upon the walks. I have agreed withmyself not to go thither till they have gone through the news-mongers' drawing up of them and their troop. I had rather avoidall mention and after a few days, I may walk there as if notbelonging to them, as I am not of place or rank to follow intheir train. But let me give you, now, an account of the house andaccommodation. On the ground-floor there is one large and very pleasant room, which is made the dining-parlour. The king and royal family alsobreakfast in it, by themselves, except the lady-in-waiting, LadyWeymouth. They sup there also, in the same manner. Thegentlemen only dine with them, I find. They are to breakfastwith us, to drink tea where they will, and to sup--where theycan; and I rather fancy, from what I have yet seen, it will becommonly with good Duke Humphrey. A small, but very neat dressing-room for his majesty is on theother side of the hall, and my little parlour is the third andonly other room on the ground-floor: so you will not think ourmonarch, his consort and offspring, take up too much of the landcalled their own ! Over this eating- parlour, on the first floor, is the queen'sdrawing-room, in which she is also obliged to dress and to un- Page 164 dress for she has no toilette apartment! Who, after that, canrepine at any inconvenience here for the household? Here, afterbreakfast, she sits, with her daughters and her lady and LadyCourtown, who, with her lord, is lodged in the town ofCheltenham. And here they drink tea, and live till suppertime. Over the king's dressing-room is his bed-room, and over mystore-room is the bed-room of the princess-royal. And here endsthe first floor. The second is divided and sub-divided into bed-rooms, which arethus occupied:--Princess Augusta and Princess Elizabeth sleep intwo beds, in the largest room. Lady Weymouth occupies that nextin size. Miss Planta and myself have two little rooms, builtover the king's bed-room and Mrs. Sandys and Miss Macentomb, andLady Weymouth's maid, have the rest. This is the whole house! Not a man but the king sleeps In it. A house is taken in the town for Mr. Fairly and Colonel Gwynn, and there lodge several of the servants, and among them Columb. The pages sleep in outhouses. Even the house-maids lodge in thetown, a quarter of a mile or more from the house! Lord Courtown, as comptroller of the household, acts here for theking, in distributing his royal bounty to the Wells, rooms, library, and elsewhere. He has sent around very magnificently. We are surrounded by pleasant meadows, in which I mean to walk agreat deal. They are so quiet and so safe, I can go quite alone;and when I have not a first-rate companion, my second best is--none at all! But I expect, very soon, my poor Miss Port, and Ishall have her with me almost constantly. AT THE WELLS. Monday, July 14-This morning I was again up at five o'clock, MissPlanta having asked me to accompany her to the wells. The queenherself went this morning, at six o'clock, with his majesty. Itis distant about a quarter of a mile from Lord Fauconberg's. Itasted the water, for once; I shall spare myself any such future regale, for it is not prescribed tome, and I think it very unpleasant. This place and air seem very healthy; but the very early Page 165 hours, and no maid! I almost doubt how this will do. The fatigueis very great indeed. We were too soon for the company, except the royals. We met themall, and were spoken to most graciously by every one. We allcame back to breakfast much at the same time, and it was verycheerful. I spent all the rest of the day in hard fagging, at work andbusiness, and attendance; but the evening amply recompensed itall. Lord Courtown, Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Miss Planta, came to tea. My Lord and Colonel Gwynn retired after it, to goto the rooms; Mr. Fairly said he Would wait to make his bow tohis majesty, and see if there were any commands for him. CONVERSATION AND FLIRTATION WITH COLONEL FAIRLY. And then we had another very long conversation, and if I did notwrite in so much haste, my dear friends would like to read it. Our subject to-night--his subject, rather--was, the necessity ofparticipation, to every species of happiness. "His" subject, youmay easily believe; for to him should I never have dared touch onone so near and so tender to him. Fredy, however, could joinWith him more feelingly--though he kept perfectly clear of allthat was personal, to which I Would not have led for a thousandworlds. He seems born with the tenderest social affections; and, though religiously resigned to his loss--which, I have been told, the hopeless sufferings of Lady - rendered, at last, even arelease to be desired--he thinks life itself, single andunshared, a mere melancholy burthen, and the wish to have donewith it appears the only wish he indulges. I could not perceive this without the deepest commiseration, butI did what was possible to conceal it; as it is much more easy, both to the hearer and the speaker, to lead the discourse tomatters more lively, under an appearance of being ignorant of thestate of a sad heart, than with a betrayed consciousness. We talked of books, and not a little I astonished him by thediscovery I was fain to make, of the number of authors I havenever yet read. Particularly he instanced Akenside, and quotedfrom him some passages I have heard selected by Mr, Locke. Page 166 Then we talked of the country, of landscapes, of walking, andthen, again, came back the favourite proposition, --participation!That, he said, could make an interest in anything, --everything;and O, how did I agree with him! There is sympathy enough, heaven knows, in our opinions on this subject But not in what followed. I am neither good nor yet miserableenough to join with him in what he added, -that life, taken allin all, was of so little worth and value, it could afford itsthinking possessor but one steady wish, --that its duration mightbe short! Alas! thought I, that a man so good should be so unhappy! We then came back again to books, and he asked us if we had reada little poem called the "Shipwreck"?(279) Neither of us hadeven heard of it. He said it was somewhat too long, and somewhattoo technical, but that it contained many beautiful passages. Hehad it with him, he said, and proposed sending Columb for it, tohis house, if we should like to read it. We thanked him, and offmarched Columb. It is in a very small duodecimo volume, and hesaid he would leave it with me. Soon after, Miss Planta said she would stroll round the house fora little exercise. When she was gone, he took up the book, andsaid, "Shall I read some passages to you? I most gladly assented, and got my work, --of which I have no small store, believe me!--morning caps, robins, etc. , all to prepare from day to day;which, with my three constant and long attendances, and otherofficial company ceremonies, is no small matter. The passages he selected were really beautiful: they were chieflyfrom an episode, of Palemon and Anna, excessively delicate, yettender in the extreme, and most touchingly melancholy. One line he came to, that he read with an emotion extremelyaffecting-- 'tis a sweet line-- "He felt the chastity of silent woe. " He stopped upon it, and sighed so deeply that his sadness quiteinfected me. Then he read various characters of the ship's company, Page 167 which are given with much energy and discrimination. I could notbut admire every passage he chose, and I was sensible each ofthem owed much obligation to his reading, which was full offeeling and effect. How unwillingly did I interrupt him, to go upstairs and wait mynight's summons! But the queen has no bell for me, except to mybed-room. He hastily took the hint, and rose to go. "Shall I leave thepoem, " he cried, "or take it with me, in case there should be anyleisure to go on with it to-morrow?" "Which you please, " cried I, a little stupidly, for I did not, atthe moment, comprehend his meaning which, however, he immediatelyexplained by answering, "Let me take it, then;--let me make alittle interest in it to myself, by reading it with you. " And then he put it in his pocket, and went to his home in thetown, and up stairs went I to my little cell, not a littleinternally simpering to see a trait so like what so often I havedone myself, --carrying off a favourite book, when I have begun itwith my Susanna, that we might finish it together, withoutleaving her the temptation to peep beforehand, MISS BURNEY MEETS AN OLD FRIEND. Tuesday, July 15--While the royals were upon the walks, MissPlanta and I strolled in the meadows, and who should I meetthere--but Mr. Seward! This was a great pleasure to me. I hadnever seen him since the first day of my coming to St. Jades's, when he handed me into my father's coach, in my sacque and longruffles. You may think how much we had to talk over. He had agentleman with him, fortunately, who was acquainted with MissPlanta's brother, so that we formed two parties, withoutdifficulty. All my aim was to inquire about Mrs. Piozzi, --Imust, at last, call her by her now real name!--and of her weconversed incessantly. He told me Mr. Baretti's late attack uponher, which I heard with great concern. (280) It seems he hasbroken off all intercourse with her, and Page 168 not from his own desire, but by her evident wish to drop him. This is very surprising ; but many others of her former friends, once highest in her favour, make the same complaint. We strolled so long, talking over this ever- interesting subject, that the royals were returned before us, and we found Mr. Fairlywaiting in my parlour. The rest soon joined. Mr. Seward hadexpected to be invited; but it is impossible for me to invite anybody while at Cheltenham, as there is neither exit nor entrancebut by passing the king's rooms, and as I have no place but thislittle common parlour in which I can sit, except my own room. Neither could I see Mr. Seward anywhere else, as my dear friendswill easily imagine, when they recollect all that has passed, onthe subject of my visitors, with her majesty and with Mr. Smelt. He told me he had strolled in those meadows every day, to watchif I were of the party. COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN. Mr. Fairly again out-stayed them all. Lord Courtown generally issummoned to the royal party after tea, and Colonel Gwynn goes tothe town in quest of acquaintance and amusement. Mr. Fairly hasnot spirit for such researches ; I question, indeed, if he everhad taste for them. When Miss Planta, went off for her exercise, he again proposed alittle reading, which again I thankfully accepted. He took outthe little poem, and read on the mournful tale of Anna, with asensibility that gave pathos to every word. How unexpected an indulgence--a luxury, I may say, to me, arethese evenings now becoming! While I listen to such reading andsuch a reader, all my work goes on with an alacrity that rendersit all pleasure to me. I have had no regale like this for manyand many a grievous long evening ! never since I left Norburypark, -never since my dear Fredy there read Madame de S6vign6. And how little could I expect, in a royal residence, a relief ofthis sort! Indeed, I much question if there is one other person, in the whole establishment, that, in an equal degree, couldafford it. Miss Planta, though extremely friendly, is almostwholly absorbed in the cares of her royal duties, and thesolicitude Page 169 of her ill-health : she takes little interest in anything else, whether for conversation or action. We do together perfectlywell, for she is good, and sensible, and prudent, and ready forany kind office: but the powers of giving pleasure are not widelybestowed: we have no right to repine that they are wanting wherethe character that misses them has intrinsic worth but, also, wehave no remedy against weariness, where that worth is united withnothing attractive. I was forced again, before ten o'clock, to interrupt hisinteresting narrative, that I might go to my room. He now saidhe would leave me the book to look over and finish at my leisure, upon one condition, which he begged me to observe: this was, thatI would read with a pen or pencil In my hand, and mark thepassages that pleased me most as I went on. I readily promisedthis. He then gave it me, but desired I would keep it to myself, frankly acknowledging that he did not wish to have it seen by anyother, at least not as belonging to him. There was nothing, hesaid of which he had less ambition than a character for bookismand pedantry, and he knew if it was spread that he was guilty ofcarrying a book from one house to another, it would be acircumstance sufficient for branding him with these epithets. I could not possibly help laughing a little at this caution, butagain gave him my ready promise. A VISIT TO MISS PALMER. Wednesday, July 16. -This morning we had the usual breakfast, andjust as it was over I received a note from Miss Palmer, sayingshe was uncertain whether or not I was at Cheltenham, by notmeeting me on the walks or at the play, but wrote to mention thatshe was with Lady D'Oyley, and hoped, if I was one of the royalsuite, my friends might have some chance to see me here, thoughwholly denied it in town. I sent for answer that I would callupon her; and as no objection was made by her majesty, I went toSir John D'Oyley's as soon as the royal party rode out. I found Miss Palmer quite thoroughly enraged. We had never metsince I left the paternal home, though I am always much indebtedto her warm zeal. Sir John and Lady D'Oyley are a mighty gentlepair. Miss Palmer could make them no better present than alittle of her vivacity. Miss Elizabeth Page 170 Johnson, her cousin, is of their party : She is pretty, soft, andpleasing; but, unhappily, as deaf as her uncle, Sir Joshua which, in a young female, is a real misfortune. To quiet Miss Palmer as much as I was able, I agreed tonight thatI would join her on the walks. Accordingly, at the usual time Iset out with Miss Planta, whom I was to introduce to theD'Oyleys. Just as we set out we perceived the king and his threegentlemen, for Lord Courtown is a constant attendant everyevening. We were backing on as well as we Could, but his majestyperceived us, and called to ask whither we were going. We metMr. Seward, who joined us. There is nothing to describe in the walks : they are straight, clay, and sided by common trees, without any rich foliage, or onebeautiful opening. The meadows, and all the country around, arefar preferable: yet here everybody meets. All the D'Oyley partycame, and Miss Planta slipped away. The king and queen walked in the same state as on the Terrace atWindsor, followed by the three princesses and their attendants. Everybody stopped and stood up as they passed, or as they stoppedthemselves to speak to any of the company. In one of these stoppings, Lord Courtown backed a little from thesuite to talk with us, and he said he saw what benefit I reapedfrom the waters! I told him I Supposed I might be the better forthe excursion, according to the definition of a water-drinkingperson by Mr. Walpole, who says people go to those places well, and then return cured! Mr. Fairly afterwards also joined us alittle while, and Miss Palmer said she longed to know him more, there was something so fine in his countenance. They invited me much to go home with them to tea, but I wasengaged. We left the walks soon after the royal family, and theycarried me near the house in Sir John D'Oyley's coach. I walked, however, quietly in by myself; and in my little parlour I foundMr. Fairly. The others were gone off to the play without tea, and the moment it was over Miss Planta hurried to her own stroll. "ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS. " This whole evening I spent t`ete-`a-t`ete with Mr. Fairly. Thereis something singular in the perfect trust he seems to have in mydiscretion, for he speaks to me when we are alone with afrankness unequalled and something very flattering in the Page 171 apparent relief he seems to find in dedicating what time he hasto dispose of to my little parlour. In the long conference ofthis evening I found him gifted with the justest way of thinkingand the most classical taste. I speak that word only as I maypresume 'to judge it by English literature. "I have another little book, " he said, "here, which I am sure youwould like, but it has a title so very silly that nobody reads ornames it: 'Original Love-Letters;(281)--from which you mightexpect mere nonsense and romance, though, on the contrary, youwould find in them nothing but good sense, moral reflections, andrefined ideas, clothed in the most expressive and elegantlanguage. " How I longed to read a book that had such a character!--yet, laughable and prudish as it may seem to you, I could not bringmyself to accept the half-offer, or make any other reply than toexclaim against the injudiciousness of the title-page. Yet, whatever were our subjects, books, life, or persons, allconcluded with the same melancholy burthen--speed to hisexistence here, and welcome to that he is awaiting! I fear he hasbeen unfortunate from his first setting out. ' THE FOUNDER OF SUNDAY SCHOOLS CRITICIZED. July 19. --The breakfast missed its best regale Mr. Fairly wasill, and confined to his room all day. The royal party went to Lord Bathurst's, at Cirencester, and thequeen commanded Miss Planta and me to take an airing toGloucester, and amuse ourselves as well as we could. Miss Plantahad a previous slight acquaintance with Mr. Raikes and to hishouse, therefore, we drove. Mr. Raikes(282) was the original founder of the Sunday-school, aninstitution so admirable, so fraught, I hope, with future goodand mercy to generations yet unborn, that I saw almost withreverence the man who had first suggested it. He lives at Page 172 Gloucester with his wife and a large family. They allreceived us with open arms. I was quite amazed, but soonfound some of the pages had been with them already, and announcedour design; and as we followed the pages, perhaps they concludedwe also were messengers, or avant-courieres, of what else mightbe expected. Mr. Raikes is not a man that, without a previousdisposition towards approbation, I should greatly have admired. He is somewhat too flourishing, somewhat too forward, somewhattoo voluble ; but he is worthy, benevolent, good-natured, andgood-hearted, and therefore the overflowing of successful spiritsand delighted vanity must meet with some allowance. His wife is aquiet and unpretending woman: his daughters common sort ofcountry misses. They seem to live with great hospitality, plenty, and good cheer. They gave us a grand breakfast, and thendid the honours of their city to us with great patriotism. Theycarried us to their fine old cathedral, where we saw the tomb ofpoor Edward II. , and many more ancient. Several of the Saxonprinces were buried in the original cathedral, and theirmonuments are preserved. Various of the ancient nobility, whosenames and families were extinct from the Wars of the Roses, havehere left their worldly honours and deposited their last remains. It was all interesting to see, though I will not detail it, for any "Gloucester guide" would beat me hollow at that work. Next they carried us to the jail, to show in how small a space, Isuppose, human beings can live, as well as die or be dead. Thisjail is admirably constructed for its proper purposes--confinement and punishment. Every culprit is to have a separatecell; every cell is clean, neat, and small, looking towards awide expanse of country, and, far more fitted to his speculation, a wide expanse of the heavens. Air, cleanliness, andhealth seem all considered, but no other indulgence. Atotal seclusion of all commerce from accident, and an absoluteimpossibility of all intercourse between themselves, must needsrender the captivity secure from all temptation to further guilt, and all Stimulus to hardihood in past crimes, and makes thesolitude become so desperate that it not only seems to leave noopening, for any comfort save in repentance, but to make thatalmost unavoidable. After this they carried us to the Infirmary, where I was yet morepleased, for the sick and the destitute awaken an interest farless painful than the wicked and contemned. We went Page 173 entirely over the house, and then over the city, which has littleelse to catch notice. The pin manufactory we did not see, asthey discouraged us by an account of its dirt. Mr. Raikes is a very principal man in all these benevolentinstitutions; and while I poured forth my satisfaction in themvery copiously and warmly, he hinted a question whether I couldname them to the queen. "Beyond doubt, " I answered; "for thesewere precisely the things which most interested her majesty'shumanity. " The joy with which he heard this was nothing short ofrapture. ON THE WALKS. Sunday, July 20-Colonel Gwynn again brought but a bad account ofhis companion, who was now under the care of the Cheltenhamapothecary, Mr. Clerke. I had appointed in the evening to go on the walks with MissPalmer. I scarce ever passed so prodigious a crowd as wasassembled before the house when I went out. The people of thewhole county seemed gathered together to see their majesties; andso quiet, so decent, so silent, that it was only by the eye theycould be discovered, though so immense a multitude. How unlike aLondon mob! The king, kindly to gratify their zealous and respectfulcuriosity, came to his window, and seeing me go out, he called meto speak to him, and give an account of my intentions. Thepeople, observing this graciousness, made way for me on everyside, so that I passed through them with as much facility as ifthe meadows had been empty. The D'Oyleys and Miss Johnson and Miss Palmer made the walkingparty, and Mr. Seward joined us. Mr. Raikes and all his familywere come from Gloucester to see the royal family on the walks, which were very much crowded, but with the same respectfulmultitude, who never came forward, but gazed and admired at themost humble distance, Mr. Raikes introduced me to the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr. Halifax, and afterwards, much more to my satisfaction, to theDean of Gloucester, Dr. Tucker, the famous author of "Cuibono. "(283) I was very glad to see him: he is past eighty, andhas a most shrewd and keen old face. Page 174 I went afterwards to tea with the D'Oyleys and Miss Palmer, andMr. Seward again accompanied us. Miss Palmer brought me home inSir John's carriage, making it drive as near as possible to thehouse. But just before we quitted the walks I was run after by a quickfemale step :--"Miss Burney, don't you know me? have you forgotSpotty?"--and I saw Miss Ogle. She told me she had longed tocome and see me, but did not know if she might. She is here withher mother and two younger sisters. I promised to wait on them. Mrs. Oake was daughter to the late Bishop of Winchester, who wasa preceptor of the king's: I knew, therefore, I might promisewith approbation. AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR. Monday, July 21. -I was very much disappointed this morning to seeColonel Gwynn come again alone to breakfast, and to hear from himthat his poor colleague was still confined. The royal party all went at ten o'clock to Tewkesbury. Aboutnoon, while I was writing a folio letter to my dear father, ofour proceedings, Mr. Alberts, the queen's page, came into mylittle parlour, and said "If you are at leisure, ma'am, Mr. Fairly begs leave to ask you how you do. " I was all amazement, for I had concluded his confinementirremediable for the present. I was quite happy to receive him;he looked very ill, and his face is still violently swelled. Hehad a handkerchief held to it, and was muffled up in a greatcoat; and indeed he seemed unfit enough for coming out. He apologised for interrupting me. I assured him I should haveample time for my letter. "What a letter!" cried he, looking at its size, "it is just sucha one as I should like to receive, and not--" "Read, " cried I. "No, no !--and not answer!" He then sat down, and I saw by his manner he came with design tomake a sociable visit to me. He was serious almost to sadness, but with a gentleness that could not but raise in whomsoever hehad addressed an implicit sympathy. He led almost immediately tothose subjects on which he loves to Page 175 dwell--Death and Immortality, and the assured misery of allstations and all seasons in this vain and restless world. I ventured not to contradict him with my happier sentiments, lestI should awaken some fresh pain. I heard him, therefore, inquiet and meditative silence, or made but such general answers ascould hazard no allusions. Yet, should I ever see him in betterspirits, I shall not scruple to discuss, in such a way as I can, this point, and to vindicate as well as I am able my oppositeopinion. He told me he had heard a fifth week was to be now added to thisexcursion, and he confessed a most anxious solicitude to be gonebefore that time. He dropped something, unexplained, yet verystriking, of a peculiar wish to be away ere some approachingperiod. I felt his meaning, though I had no key to it; I felt that hecoveted to spend in quiet the anniversary of the day on which helost his lady. You may believe I could say nothing to it; theidea was too tender for discussion; nor can I divine whether ornot he wishes to open more on this subject, or is better pleasedby my constant silence to his own allusions. I know not, indeed, whether he thinks I even understand them. COURTS AND COURT LIFE. We then talked over Cheltenham and our way of life, and then raninto discourse upon Courts and Court life in general. I franklysaid I liked them not, and that, if I had the direction of anyyoung person's destination, I would never risk them into such amode of living; for, though Vices may be as well avoided there asanywhere 'and in this Court particularly, there were mischiefs ofa smaller kind, extremely pernicious to all nobleness ofcharacter, to which this Court, with all its really brightexamples, was as liable as any other, --the mischiefs of jealousy, narrowness, and selfishness. He did not see, he said, when there was a place of settled incomeand appropriated business why it might not be filled both withintegrity and content in a Court as well as elsewhere. Ambition, the desire of rising, those, he said, were the motives that envywhich set such little passions in motion. One situation, however, there was, he said, which he looked upon as trulydangerous, and as almost certain to pervert the fairestdisposition- it was one in which he would not place any personfor whom he had the smallest regard, as he looked upon it to Page 176 be the greatest hazard a character could run. This was, beingmaid of honour. THE VINDICTIVE BARETTI. Tuesday, July 22-To-day, at noon, I had a surprise with which Iwas very well pleased. His majesty opened the door of my littleparlour, called out, "Come, Come in -, " and was followed by MajorPrice. He was just arrived from his little farm inHerefordshire, and will stay here some days. It is particularlyfortunate just now, when another gentleman was really required toassist in attendance upon the royal party. Mr. Seward, with a good-humoured note, sent me the magazine withBaretti's strictures on Mrs. Thrale. Good heaven, how abusive! It can hardly hurt her--it is so palpably meant to do it. Icould not have suspected him, with all his violence, of abitterness of invective so cruel, so ferocious! I well remember his saying to me, when first I saw him after thediscovery of "Evelina". . . . . . I see what it is you can do, youlittle witch--it is, that you can hang us all up for laughing-stocks; but hear me this one thing--don't meddle with me. I seewhat they are, your powers; but remember, when you provoke anItalian you run a dagger into your own breast!" I half shuddered at the fearful caution from him, because thedagger was a word of unfortunate recollection:(284) but, goodheaven! it could only be a half Shudder when the caution wasagainst an offence I could sooner die than commit, and which, Imay truly say, if personal attack was what he meant, never evenin sport entered my mind, and was ever, in earnest, a thing Ihave held in the deepest abhorrence. I must do, however, the justice to his candour to add, that upona newer acquaintance with me, which immediately followed, henever repeated his admonition; and when "Cecilia" came out, andhe hastened to me with every species of extravagant encomium, henever hinted at any similar idea, and it seemed evident heconcluded me, by that time, incapable Page 177 meriting such a suspicion; though, to judge by his own conduct, aproceeding of this sort may to him appear in a very differentlight. He thinks, at least, a spirit of revenge may authorizeany attack, any insult. How unhappy and how strange! to join toso much real good nature as this man possesses when pleased, adisposition so savagely vindictive when offended. SPECULATIONS UPON COLONEL FAIRLY'S RE-MARRYING. Thursday, July 24--"Pray, Miss Burney, " cried Colonel Gwynn, "doyou think Mr. Fairly will ever marry again?" "I think it very doubtful, " I answered, "but I hope he will, for, whether he is happy or not in marrying, I am sure he will bewretched in singleness; the whole turn of his mind is so socialand domestic. He is by no means formed for going always abroadfor the relief of society; he requires it more at hand. " "And what do you think of Miss Fuzilier?" "That he is wholly disengaged with her and with everybody. " "Well, I think it will be, for I know they correspond ; and whatshould he correspond with her for else?" "Because, I suppose, he has done it long before this could besuggested as the motive. And, indeed, the very quickness of thereport makes me discredit it; 'tis so utterly impossible for aman whose feelings are so delicate to have taken any stepstowards a second connexion at so early a period. " "Why, I know he's very romantic, --but I should like to know youropinion. " "I have given it you, " cried I, "very exactly. " COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN PRESENTS HIMSELF. Not long after, when all the party was broke up from my littleparlour, though not yet set out for Gloucester, who should againsurprise me by entering but Mr. Fairly! I was quite rejoiced byhis sight. He was better, though not well. His face is almostreduced to its natural size. He had a letter for her majestyfrom Lord Aylesbury, and had determined to venture bringing ithimself. He said he would carry it in to the queen, and then return to myparlour, if I would give him some breakfast. You may suppose I answered "No!" But, afterwards, fearing hemight Page 178 be detained and fatigued, he asked me to present it for him, andonly say he was waiting in my room for commands. I was forced tosay "Yes, " though I had rather not. Her majesty was much surprised to hear he was again out sounexpectedly, and asked if he thought of going to Gloucester? "No, " I said, "I believed he was not equal to that. " She bid me tell him she would see him before she went. I returned with this message, and would then have ordered himfresh breakfast; but he declared if I was fidgety he should haveno comfort, and insisted on my sitting quietly down, while hedrew a chair by my side, and made his own cold tea, and drank itweak and vapid, and eat up all the miserable scraps, withoutsuffering me to call for plate, knife, bread, butter, or anythingfor replenishment. And when he had done, and I would have madesome apology, he affected me for him a good deal by gravelysaying, "Believe me, this is the pleasantest breakfast I havemade these six days. " He then went on speaking of his late confinement, and itscomfortless circumstances, in very strong terms, dwelling on itssolitude and its uselessness, as if those only formed itsdisagreeability, and the pain went for nothing. Social and kindis his heart, and finely touched to the most exquisite sensationsof sympathy; and, as I told Colonel Gwynn, I must needs wish hemay yet find some second gentle partner fitted to alleviate hissorrows, by giving to him an object whose happiness would becomehis first study. He brought me back the few books I had procured him but I had nofresh supply. He spoke again of the favourite "Letters, " andsaid he felt so sure I should be pleased with them, that he wasdesirous I should look at them, adding There is no person intowhose hands I would not put them not even my daughter's. " It was now impossible to avoid saying I should be glad to seethem: it would seem else to doubt either his taste or hisdelicacy, while I have the highest opinion of both. In talkingthem over he told me he believed them to be genuine; "But thewoman, " he said, "throughout the whole correspondence, is toomuch the superior. She leaves the man far behind. She is socollected, so composed, so constantly mistress of herself, sounbiased by her passions, so rational, and so dignified, that Iwould even recommend her as an example to any young woman insimilar circumstances to follow. " Page 179 He was summoned to her majesty, in the dining-parlour. But whenthey were all set out on the Gloucester expedition, he returnedto my little parlour, and stayed with me a considerable time. Grave he came back--grave quite to solemnity, and almost whollyimmersed in deep and sad reflections, He spoke little, and thatlittle with a voice so melancholy, yet so gentle, that it filledme with commiseration. At length, after much silence and many pauses, which I neverattempted to interrupt or to dissipate, continuing my work as ifnot heeding him, he led himself distantly, yet intelligibly--toopen upon the immediate state of his mind. I now found that the king's staying on at Cheltenham a fifth weekwas scarcely supportable to him; that the 16th of next month wasthe mournful anniversary of his loss, and that he had planned todedicate it in some peculiar manner to her memory, with his fourchildren. Nothing of this was positively said; for "He feels the chastity of silent woe. " But all of it was indubitably comprised in the various short butpointed sentences which fell from him. THE COLONEL AND THE "ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS. " Friday, July 25. -Again, to a very late breakfast came Mr. Fairly, which again he made for himself, when the rest were dispersed, ofall the odd remnants, eatable and drinkable. He was much better, and less melancholy. He said he should be well enough to jointhe royal party to-morrow, who were to dine and spend the wholeday at Lord Coventry's at Coombe. . . . In the afternoon, while Miss Planta and myself were Sitting overour dessert, a gentle rap at the parlour-door preceded Mr. Fairly. How we both started! He was muffled up in a great coat, and said he came quite incog. , as he was not well enough to dineanywhere but in his private apartment, nor to attend the royalsto the walks, whither they go every evening. He had onlystrolled out for a walk by himself. I could not persuade him to sit down; he said he must be goneimmediately, lest he should be seen, and the king, not aware ofhis unfitness, should order his attendance. Miss Planta, presently, was obliged to go to the princesses, Page 180 and wait with them till the promenade took place. Quietly, then, he drew a chair to the table, and I saw he had something to say;but, after a little general talk he rose and was going : when, hearing by the dogs the royal family were just in motion, hepulled off his great coat and seated himself again. And then, he took from his pocket a small volume, which he saidhe had taken this opportunity to bring me. You Will be sure itwas the "Original Letters. ;" I took them, and thanked him: he charged me with a very grave airto keep them safe, and I put them into my work-box--my dearFredy's work-box--which here is my universal repository of smallgoods and chattels, and useful past all thanks. By the time they Were set off, however, we were entered intoconversation, and he said he would venture to stay tea; "though, as I tell you, " he added, "what I do not tell everybody, I mustconfess I have upon me some certain symptoms that make me alittle suspect these Cheltenham waters are going to bring me to afit of the gout. " And then he told me that that dreadful disorder had beenfrequently and dangerously in his family, though he had himselfnever had it but once, which was after a very bad fall from hishorse when hunting with the king. Miss Planta now joined us, looking not a little surprised to findMr. Fairly still here, and I ordered tea. After it was over, shewent to take her usual evening exercise; and then Mr. Fairly, pointing to my work-box, said, "Shall I read a little to you?" Certainly, I said, if it would not too much fatigue him; andthen, with the greatest pleasure in renewing again a mode inwhich I had taken so much delight, I got my work and gave him hisbook. Unluckily, however, it was the second volume; the first, having read, he had left in town. "It is quite, however, " hesaid, "immaterial whether You begin with the first volume or thesecond; the story is nothing; the language and the sentiments areall you can care for. " I did not quite agree in this, but would not say so, lest heshould think of me as Colonel Gwynn does of him, "that I am veryromantic which, however, I am not, though I never like toanticipate an end ere I know a beginning. Indeed, he had not praised them too highly, nor raised myexpectations beyond what could answer them, They are full Page 181 of beauties-moral, elegant, feeling, and rational. He seemedmost unusually gratified by seeing me so much pleased with them. I am so glad, " he cried, "You like them, for I thought youwould!" But we began so late that he could only, get through twoletters, when the time of my retiring arrived. I was sorry alsoto have him out so late after his long confinement; but hewrapped himself up in his great coat, and did not seem to thinkhe should suffer from it. Miss Planta came to my room upstairs, to Inquire how long Mr. Fairly had stayed, and I was quite happy to appease herastonishment that he should come without sending in to the king, by assuring her he was only nursing for the next day, when hemeant to attend the Coombe party. I thought it so absolutely right to mention his visit to thequeen, lest, hearing of it from the princesses through MissPlanta, she Should wonder yet more, that I put aside thedisagreeable feel of exciting that wonder myself, and told her hehad drank tea here, when I attended her at night. She seemedmuch more surprised than pleased, till I added that he waspreparing and hardening himself for the Coombe expedition thenext day, and then she was quite satisfied. (285) THE GOUT AND THE LOVE LETTERS, AGAIN. Saturday, July 26. -The royal party were to be Out the whole day, and I had her majesty's permission to go to the play at nightwith Miss Port and her friends, and to introduce MISS Planta tothem for the same purpose. The breakfast was at seven o'clock ;we were all up at half after five. How sorry was I to seeColonel Gwynn enter alone, and to hear that Mr. Fairly was againill Soon after the king came into the room and said, "So, no Mr. Fairly again?" "No, sir; he's very bad this morning. " "What's the matter? His face?" "No, sir; he has got the gout. These waters. , he thinks, havebrought it on. " "What, in his foot?" "Yes, sir; he is quite lame, his foot is swelled prodigiously. " Page 182 "So he's quite knocked up! Can't he come out?" "No, sir; he's obliged to order a gouty shoe and stay at home andnurse. " The king declared the Cheltenham waters were admirable friends tothe constitution, by bringing disorders out of the habit. Mr. Fairly, he said, had not been well some time, and a smart fit ofthe gout might set him all to rights again. Alas, thought I, a smart fit of the gout in a lonely lodging at awater-drinking place! They all presently set off; and so fatigued was my poor littleframe, I was glad to go and lie down; but I never can sleep whenI try for it in the daytime; the moment I cease all employment, my thoughts take such an ascendance over my morphetic faculty, that the attempt always ends in a deep and most Wakefulmeditation. About twelve o'clock I was reading In my private loan book, when, hearing the step of Miss Planta on the stairs, I put it back inmy work-box, and Was just taking thence some other employment, when her voice struck my ear almost in a scream "Is it possible?Mr. Fairly!" My own with difficulty refrained echoing it when I heard hisvoice answer her, and in a few minutes they parted, and he rappedat the door and entered my little parlour. He came in hobbling, leaning on a stick, and with a large cloth shoe over one of hisfeet, which was double the size of the other. We sat down together, and he soon inquired what I had done withhis little book. I had only, I answered, read two more letters. "Have you read two?" he cried, in a voice rather disappointed;and I found he was actually come to devote the morning, which heknew to be unappropriated on my part, to reading it on to mehimself. Then he took up the book and read on from the fifthletter. But he read at first with evident uneasiness, throwingdown the book at every noise, and stopping to listen at everysound. At last he asked me if anybody was likely to come? Not a soul, I said, that I knew or expected. He laughed a little at his question and apparent anxiety but withan openness that singularly marks his character, he franklyadded, I must put the book away, pure as it is, if any one comesor, without knowing a word of the contents, they will run awaywith the title alone, exclaiming, 'Mr. Fairly Page 183 reading love letters to Miss Burney!' A fine story that wouldmake!" 'Pon honour, thought I, I would not hear such a tale for theworld. However, he now pursued his reading more at his ease. I will not tell you what we said of them in talking them over. Our praise I have chiefly given--our criticism must wait till youhave read them yourselves. They are well worth your seeking. Iam greatly mistaken if you do not read them with delight. in the course of the discussion he glided, I know not how, uponthe writings of another person, saying he never yet had talkedthem over with me. "It is much kinder not, " cried I hastily. . . . "Well, but, " cried he laughing, "may I find a fault? Will youhear a criticism, if nothing of another sort?" I was forced toaccede to this. He told me, then, there was one thing he wholly disallowed andwished to dispute, which was, Cecilia's refusing to be married onaccount of the anonymous prohibition to the ceremony. He couldnot, he said, think such an implied distrust of Delvile, afterconsenting to be his, was fair or generous. "To that, " cried I, "I cannot judge what a man may think, but Iwill own it is what most precisely and indubitably I could nothave resisted doing myself. An interruption so mysterious and soshocking I could never have had the courage to pass over. " This answer rather silenced him from politeness than convincedhim from reason, for I found he thought the woman who had givenher promise was already married, and ought to run every riskrather than show the smallest want of confidence in the man ofher choice. Columb now soon came in to inquire what time I should dine, but aghost could not have made him stare more than Mr. Fairly, whoseconfinement with the gout had been spread all over the house byColonel Gwynn. I ordered an early dinner on account of the play. " "Will you invite me, " cried Mr. Fairly, laughing, "to dine withyou?" "Oh yes!" I cried, "with the greatest pleasure. " and he said hewould go to his home and dress, and return to my hour. Page 184 A DINNER WITH COLONEL FAIRLY AND MISS PLANTA, As he was at leisure, I had bespoke the queen's hairdresser, onaccount of the play; but Miss Planta came to inform me that shecould not be of that party, as she had received a letter fromLady Charlotte Finch, concerning Princess Mary, that she muststay to deliver herself. I told her she would have a beau at dinner. "Well, " sheexclaimed, "'tis the oddest thing in the world He should come sowhen the king and queen are away! I am sure, if I was you, Iwould not mention it. " "Oh yes, I shall, " cried I; "I receive no visitors in private;and I am sure if I did, Mr. Fairly is the last who wouldcondescend to make one of them. " Such was my proud, but truespeech, for him and for myself. At dinner we all three met; Mr. Fairly in much better spiritsthan I have yet seen him at Cheltenham. He attacks Miss Plantaupon all her little prejudices, and rallies her into a defence ofthem, in a manner so sportive 'tis impossible to hurt her, yet sonearly sarcastic that she is frequently perplexed whether to takeit in good or ill part. But his intentions are so decidedlyaverse to giving pain, that even when she is most alarmed atfinding the laugh raised against her, some suddenly good-humouredor obliging turn sets all to rights, and secures any sting fromremaining, even where the bee has been most menacing to fixitself. I believe Mr. Fairly to possess from nature high animal spirits, though now curbed by misfortune - and a fine vein of satire, though constantly kept in order by genuine benevolence. He isstill, in mixed company, gay, shrewd, and arch ; foremost inbadinage, and readiest for whatever may promote generalentertainment. But in chosen society his spirits do not riseabove cheerfulness; he delights in moral discourse, on grave andinstructive subjects, and though always ready to be led to thepolitics or business of the day, in which he is constantly wellversed and informing I never observe him to lead but to themes ofreligion, literature, or moral life. When dinner and a very sociable dessert were over, we proposedgoing to the king's dining-parlour, while the servants removedthe things, etc. , against tea. But the weather was so very finewe were tempted by the open door to go out into the air. MissPlanta said she would take a walk; Mr. Fairly could not, but allwithout was so beautiful he would not go into the Page 185 parlour, and rather risked the fatigue of standing, as he leantagainst the porch, to losing the lovely prospect of sweet air. And here, for near two hours, on the steps of Fauconberg Hall, weremained; and they were two hours of such pure serenity, withoutand within, as I think, except in Norbury park, with its lovedinhabitants and my Susan, I scarce ever remember to have spent. Higher gaiety and greater happiness many and many periods of mylife have at different times afforded me; but a tranquillity moreperfect has only, I think, been lent to me in Norbury park, where, added to all else that could soothe and attract, everyaffection of my heart could be expanded and indulged. But whathave I to do with a comparison no longer cherished but by memory The time I have mentioned being past, Miss Planta returned fromher walk, and we adjourned to the little parlour, where I madetea, and then I equipped myself for the play. The sweet Miss Port received me with her usual kind joy, andintroduced me to her friends, who are Mr. Delabere, the master ofthe house, and chief magistrate of Cheltenham, and his family. We all proceeded to the play-house, which is a very pretty littletheatre. Mrs. Jordan played the "Country Girl, " most admirably;but the play is so disagreeable in Its whole plot and tendency, that all the merit of her performance was insufficient to wardoff disgust. (286) My principal end, however, was wholly answered, in spending the evening with my poor M-----. . . . Lady Harcourt is come to take the place of Lady Weymouth, whosewaiting is over; and Lord Harcourt will lodge in the town ofCheltenham. We have no room here for double accommodations. ROYAL CONCERN FOR THE COLONEL's GOUT. Sunday, July 27. -This morning in my first attendance I seized amoment to tell her majesty of yesterday's dinner. Page 186 "So I hear!" she cried; and I was sorry any one had anticipatedmy information, nor can I imagine who it might be. "But pray, ma'am, " very gravely, how did it happen ? I understoodMr. Fairly was confined by the gout. " "He grew better, ma'am, and hoped by exercise to prevent aserious fit. " She said no more, but did not seem pleased. The fatigues of aCourt attendance are so little comprehended, that persons knownto be able to quit their room and their bed are Instantlyconcluded to be qualified for all the duties of their office. We were again very early, as their majesties meant to go to thecathedral at Gloucester, where the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr. Halifax, was to Preach to them. But I -was particularly glad, before our breakfast, was over, to see Mr. Fairly enter my littleparlour. He was Still In his gouty Shoe, and assisted by astick, but he had not suffered from his yesterday's exertion. Before the things were removed, a page opened the door, and allthe royal family--king, queen, and three princesses--came intothe room to see Mr. Fairly and Inquire how he did. I hardly knowwith which of the five he is most in favour, or by which mostrespected, and they all expressed their concern for this secondattack, in the kindest terms. The king, however, who has a flow of spirits at this time quiteunequalled, would fain have turned the whole into ridicule, andhave persuaded him he was only fanciful. "Fanciful, Sir?" he repeated, a little displeased; and the goodking perceiving it, graciously and good-humouredly drew back hiswords, by saying "Why I should wonder indeed if you were to bethat!" When they all decamped I prepared for church. I had appointed togo with Miss Port, and to meet her on the road. Mr. Fairly said, if I would give him leave, he would stay and write letters in mylittle parlour. I supplied him with materials, and emptied myqueen's writing-box for a desk, as we possess nothing here but alow dining-table. So away went journals, letters, memorandums, etc. , into the red portfolio given me by my dear father. page 187 As soon as I presented him with this, not at all aware of thegoods and chattels removed for the occasion, he said it was sovery comfortable he should now write all his letters here, for athis lodgings he had such a miserable low table he had been forcedto prop it up by brick-bats! Mr. Fairly sealed and made up his dispatches, and then said hewould stroll a little out to put his foot in motion. "And what, "he asked, "shall you do?" I had a great mind to say, Why, stroll with you; for that, Ithink, was the meaning OF his question; but I feared it mightprevent my being dressed against the return Of the queen, and Ido not think she would have thought it an adequate excuse. YOUNG REPUBLICANS CONVERTED. Monday, July 28. --Miss Ogle acquainted me that this was the lastday of her remaining at Cheltenham, and I promised to drink teawith her in the afternoon; and the queen honoured me with acommission to bring Mrs. Ogle on the walks, as his majesty wishedagain to see her. . . . I found Mrs. Ogle and her daughters all civility and good humour. Poor Mrs. Ogle has lately (by what means I do not know) whollylost her eye-sight; but she is perfectly resigned to thiscalamity, and from motives just such as suit a bishop's daughter. When I told her who desired her to be on the walks, she wasextremely gratified. Spotty is a complete rebel, according tothe principles of her republican father, and protested it wouldonly be a folly and fuss to go, for their notice. The youngersisters are bred rebels too; but the thought of guiding theirmother, when such royal distinction was intended her, flatteredand fluctuated them. There was another lady with them, who toldme that Dr. Warton, of Winchester, had desired her to makeacquaintance with me; but I have forgotten her name, and have notime to refresh my memory with it. To the walks we went, the good and pious Mrs. Ogle between hertwo young daughters, and Spotty and I together. Spotty begged meto go to the ball with her, but I had neither licence norinclination. The queen immediately espied Mrs. Ogle, by seeing me, as I heardher say to the king; and they approached the spot where we stood, in the most gracious manner. The king spoke with such kindnessto Mrs. Ogle, and with such great regard Page 188 of her late father, that the good lady was most deeply affectedwith pleasure. I believe they stayed half an hour with her, talking over old scenes and circumstances. Spotty kept pullingme all the time, to decamp; but I kept "invincible, "--not quitelike Mr. Pitt, yet "invincible. " At last the king spoke to her: this confused her so much, between the pleasure of thenotice, and the shame of feeling that pleasure, that she knew notwhat she either did or said, answered everything wrong, and gotout of the line, and stood with her back to the queen, and turnedabout she knew not why, and behaved like one who had lost herwits. When they left us, Mrs. Ogle expressed her grateful sense of thehonour done her, almost with tears ; the two young ones said, they had never conceived the king and queen could be such sweetpeople and poor Spotty was so affected and so constrained indenying them praise, and persisting that she thought it "all abore, " that I saw the republican heart was gone, though thetongue held its ground. A second time, after a few more turns, the same gracious partyapproached, with fresh recollections and fresh questionsconcerning interesting family matters. This was more than couldbe withstood; Mrs. Ogle was almost overpowered by theircondescension; the young ones protested they should never bear tohear anything but praise of them all their lives to come and poorSpotty was quite dumb! She could not, for shame, join the chorusof praise, and to resist it she had no longer any power. We did not, however, stop here; for still a third time theyadvanced, and another conference ensued, in which Mrs. Ogle'ssons were inquired for, and their way of life, and designs andcharacters. This ended and completed the whole; Mrs. Ogle nolonger restrained the tears of pleasure from flowing; her littledaughters declared, aloud, the king and queen were the two mostsweet persons in the whole world, and they would say so as longas they lived; and poor Spotty, colouring and conscious, said--"But I hope I did not behave so bad this time as the first?" Nay, so wholly was she conquered, that, losing her stubbornness moreand more by reflection, she would not let me take leave till sheobliged me to promise I would either call the next morning, before their departure, or write her a little note, to say ifthey found out or mentioned her ungraciousness. I was too well pleased in the convert to refuse her this satis- page 189 action; and so full was her mind of her new loyalty, that whenshe found me steady in declining to go with her to the ball, shegave it up herself, and said she would go home with her motherand sisters, to talk matters over. THE PRINCES' ANIMAL SPIRITS. July 31. ---Miss Planta said the Duke of York was expected thenext day. This led to much discourse on the princes, in whichMr. Fairly, with his usual but Most uncommon openness, protestedthere was something in the violence of their animal spirits thatWould make him accept no post and no pay to live with them. Their very voices, he said, had a loudness and force that worehim. Immediately after he made a little attack--a gentle one, Indeed--upon me, for the contrary extreme, of hardly speaking, amongstrangers at least, so as to be heard. "And why, " cried he, "doyou speak so low? I used formerly not to catch above a word in asentence from you. " In talking about the princes, he asked mehow I managed with them. Not at all, I said, for since I had resided under the royal roofthey were rarely there, and I had merely seen them two or threetimes. He congratulated me that I had not been in the family in earlierdays, when they all lived together; and Miss Planta enumeratedvarious of their riots, and the distresses and difficulties theycaused in the household. I was very glad, I said, to be out of the way, though I did notdoubt but I might have kept clear of them had I been even then aresident. "O no, no, " cried Mr. Fairly; "they would have come to you, Ipromise you; and what could you have done--what would have becomeof you?--with Prince William in particular? Do you not think, Miss Planta, the Prince of Wales and Prince William would havebeen quite enough for Miss Burney? Why she would have been quitesubdued. " I assured him I had not a fear but I might always have avoidedthem. "Impossible! They would have come to your tea-room. " "I would have given up tea. " "Then they would have followed you--called for you--sent foryou--the Prince of Wales would have called about him, 'Here !where's Miss Burney?"' Page 190 "O, no, no, no!" cried I; "I would have kept wholly out of theway, and then they would never have thought about me. " "O, ho!" cried he, laughing, "never think of seeing Miss Burney Prince William, too! what say you to that, Miss Planta? She agreed there was no probability of such escape. I was onlythe more glad to have arrived in later times. Here a page came to call Mr. Fairly to backgammon with hismajesty. THE DUKE OF YORK: ROYAL VISIT TO THE THEATRE. Friday, Aug. 1. -This was a very busy day; the Duke of York wasexpected, and his fond father had caused a portable wooden houseto be moved from the further end of Cheltenham town up to join toFauconber, Hall. The task had employed twenty or thirty menalmost ever since our arrival, and so laborious, slow, difficult, and all but impracticable had it proved, that it was barelyaccomplished before it was wanted. There was no room, however, in the king's actual dwelling, and he could not endure not toaccommodate his son immediately next himself. His joy upon his arrival was such joy as I have only seen herewhen he arrived first from Germany; I do not mean it was equallyviolent, or, alas! equally unmixed, but yet it was next andnearest to that which had been most perfect. Mr. Bunbury attended his royal highness. We had all dispersedfrom breakfast, but the king came in, and desired me to make himsome. Mr. Fairly had brought him to my little parlour, and, having called Columb, and assisted in arranging a new breakfast, he left us, glad, I suppose, of a morning to himself, for hismajesty was wholly engrossed by the duke. We talked over his usual theme--plays and players--and helanguished to go to the theatre and see Mrs. Jordan. Nor did helanguish in vain: his royal master, the duke, imbibed his wishes, and conveyed them to the king; and no sooner were they known thanan order was hastily sent to the play-house, to prepare a royalbox. The queen was so gracious as to order Miss Planta andmyself to have the same entertainment. The delight of the people that their king and queen should visitthis country theatre was the most disinterested I ever witnessed;for though they had not even a glance of their royalcountenances, they shouted, huzzaed, and clapped, for Page 191 many minutes. The managers had prepared the front boxes fortheir reception, and therefore the galleries were over them. They made a very full and respectable appearance in this villagetheatre. The king, queen, Duke of York, and three princesses, were all accommodated with front seats ; Lord Harcourt stoodbehind the king, Lady Harcourt and Mr. Fairly behind the queen;Lord and Lady Courtown and Lady Pembroke behind the princesses;and at the back, Colonel Gwynn and Mr. Bunbury; Mr. Boulby andLady Mary were also in the back group. I was somewhat taken up in observing a lady who sat opposite tome, Miss W---. My Susanna will remember that extraordinary younglady at Bath, whose conduct and conversation I have eitherwritten or repeated to her. (287) I could not see her again without being much struck by anotherrecollection, of more recent and vexatious date. Mrs. Thrale, inone of the letters she has published, and which was written justafter I had communicated to her my singular rencontre with thislady, says to Dr. Johnson, "Burney has picked up an infidel, andrecommended to her to read 'Rasselas. ' This has a strange sound, but when its circumstances are known, its strangeness ceases; it meant Miss W--- and I greatly fear, from the date and the book, she cannot but know the "infidel" andherself are one. I was truly Concerned in reading it, and I nowfelt almost ashamed as well as concerned in facing her, thoughher infidelity at that time, was of her own public avowal. Mr. Bunbury is particularly intimate with her, and admires her beyondall women. AN UN-COURTLY VISITOR. Miss Planta and myself, by the queen's direction, went in achaise to see Tewkesbury. We were carried to several verybeautiful points of view, all terminating with the noble hills ofMalvern; and we visited the cathedral. . . . The pews seem themost unsafe, strange, and irregular that were ever constructed;they are mounted up, story after story, without any order, nowlarge, now small, now projecting out wide, now almost indented inback, nearly to the very roof of the building. They look as if, ready-made, they had been thrown up, and stuck wherever theycould, entirely by chance. We returned home just in time to be hastily dressed before Page 192 the royals came back. I was a little, however, distressed onbeing told, as I descended to dinner, that Mr. RichardBurney(288) was in my parlour. The strict discipline observedhere, in receiving no visits, made this a very awkwardcircumstance, for I as much feared hurting him by such a hint, asconcurring in an impropriety by detaining him. Miss Plantasuffers not a soul to approach her to this house ; and LadyHarcourt has herself told me she thinks it would be wrong toreceive even her sisters, Miss Vernons, so much all-together isnow the house and household! My difficulty was still increased, when, upon entering theparlour, I found him in boots, a riding dress, and hair whollywithout curl or dressing. Innocently, and very naturally, he hadcalled upon me in his travelling garb, never suspecting that invisiting me he was at all in danger of seeing or being seen byany one else. Had that indeed been the case, I should have beenvery glad to see him; but I knew, now, his appearance must proveevery way to his disadvantage, and I felt an added anxiety toacquaint him with my situation. Miss Planta looked all amazement; but he was himself all ease andsprightly unconsciousness. We were obliged to sit down to dinner; he had dined. I was quitein a panic the whole time, lest any of the royals should come inbefore I could speak - but, after he had partaken of our dessert, as much en badinage as I could, I asked him if he felt stoutenough to meet the king? and then explained to him, as conciselyas I had power, that I had here no room whatsoever at my owndisposal, in such a manner as to enable my having the happinessto receive any of my private friends even Miss Port, though knownto all the royal family, , I could never venture to invite, exceptwhen they were abroad: such being, at present, the universalpractice and forbearance of all the attendants in this tour. He heard me with much surprise, and much laughter at his ownelegant equipment for such encounters as those to which he nowfound himself liable; but he immediately proposed decamping, andI could not object, Yet, to soften this disagreeable explanation, I kept him a few minutes longer, settling concerning our furthermeeting at the concerts- at Worcester, and, in this littleinterval, we were startled by a rap at my door. He laughed, andstarted back; and I, alarmed, Page 193 also retreated. Miss Planta opened the door, and called out"'Tis Mr. Fairly. " I saw him in amaze at sight of a gentleman; and he was himselfimmediately retiring, concluding, I suppose, that nothing lessthan business very urgent could have induced me to break throughrules so rigidly observed by himself and all others. I would not, however, let him go . But as I continuedtalking with Richard about the music meeting and my cousins, hewalked up to the window with Miss Planta. I now kept Richard aslong as I well could, to help off his own embarrassment at thisinterruption; at length he went. MR. FAIRLY READS "AKENSIDE" TO MISS BURNEY. Hearing now the barking of the dogs, I knew the royals must begoing forth to their promenade; but I found Mr. Fairly either didnot hear or did not heed them. While I expected him every momentto recollect himself, and hasten to the walks, he quietly said, "They are all gone but me. I shall venture, to-night, toshirk;--though the king will soon miss me. But what will follow?He will say--'Fairly is tired! How shabby!' Well! let him sayso; I am tired!" Miss Planta went off, soon after, to her walk. He then said, "Have you done with my little book?" "O yes!" I cried, "and this morning I have sent home the map ofGloucester you were so good as to send us. Though, I believe, Ihave kept both so long, You will not again be in any haste tolend me either a map of the land, or a poem of the sea. " I thengave him back "The Shipwreck. " "Shall I tell you, " cried I, "a design I have been forming uponyou?" "A design upon me?" "Yes; and I may as well own it, for I shall be quite as nearsuccess as if I disguise it. " I then went to my little drawerand took out Akenside. " "Here, " I cried, "I intended to have had this fall in your way, by pure accident, on the evening you were called to the conjurer, and I have planned the same ingenious project every eveningsince, but it has never taken, and so now I produce it fairly!" "That, " cried he, taking it, with a very pleased smile, "is theonly way in all things!" Page 194 He then began reading "The Pleasures of the Imagination, " and Itook some work, for which I was much in haste, and my imaginationwas amply gratified. He only looked out for favourite passages, as he has the poem almost by heart, and he read them with afeeling and energy that showed his whole soul penetrated withtheir force and merit. After the first hour, however, he grew uneasy'; he asked me whenI expected the king and queen from their walk, and whether theywere likely to come into my room? "All, " I said, "was uncertain. " "Can nobody, " he cried, "let you know when they are coming?" "Nobody, " I answered, "would know till they were actuallyarrived. " "But, " cried he, "can you not bid somebody watch?" 'Twas rather an awkward commission, but I felt it would be anawkwardness still less pleasant to me to decline it, andtherefore I called Columb, and desired he would let me know whenthe queen returned. He was then easier, and laughed a little, while he explainedhimself, "Should they come in and find me reading here before Icould put away my book, they would say we were two bluestockings!" At tea Miss Planta again joined us, and instantly behind him wentthe book. He was very right; for nobody would have thought it more odd--or more blue. During this repast they returned home, but all went straightupstairs, the duke wholly occupying the king - and Mr. Bunburywent to the play. When Miss Planta, therefore, took her eveningstroll, "Akenside" again came forth, and with more security. "There is one ode here, " he cried, "that I wish to read to you, and now I think I can. " I told him I did not in general like Akenside's odes, at leastwhat I had chanced to read, for I thought they were too inflated, and filled with "liberty cant. " "But this, however, " cried he, "I must read to you, it is sopretty, though it is upon love!" 'Tis addressed to Olympia: I dare say my dearest Fredy recollectsit. (289) It is, indeed, most feelingly written; but we Page 195 had only got through the first stanza when the door Suddenlyopened, and enter Mr. Bunbury. After all the precautions taken, to have him thus appear at thevery worst moment! Vexed as I was, I could really have laughed;but Mr. Fairly was ill disposed to take it so merrily. Hestarted, threw the book forcibly behind him, and instantly tookup his hat, as if decamping. I really believe he was afraid Mr. Bunbury would caricature us "The sentimental readers!" or whatwould he have called us? Luckily this confusion passed unnoticed. Mr. Bunbury had run away from the play to see after the horses, etc. , for his duke, and was fearful of coming too late. plays and players now took up all the discourse, with Miss W--, till the duke was ready to go. They then left me together, Mr. Fairly smiling drolly enough in departing, and looking at"Akenside" with a very arch shrug, as who should say "What ascrape you had nearly drawn me into, Mr. Akenside!" THE DOCTOR's EMBARRASSMENT. Sunday, Aug. 3. -This morning I was so violently oppressed by acold, which turns out to be the influenza, it was with the utmostdifficulty I could dress myself. I did indeed now want someassistant most wofully. The princess royal has already been some days disturbed with thisinfluenza. When the queen perceived it in me she told hismajesty, who came into the room just as she was going tobreakfast. Without making any answer, he himself wentimmediately to call Mr. Clerk, the apothecary, who was then withthe princess royal. "Now, Mr. Clerk, " cried he, "here's another patient for you. " Mr. Clerk, a modest, sensible man, concluded, by the king himselfhaving called him, that it was the queen he had Page 196 now to attend, and he stood bowing profoundly before her but soonobserving she did not notice him, he turned in some confusion tothe Princess Augusta, who was now in the group. "No, no! it's not me, Mr. Clerk, thank God!" cried the gayPrincess Augusta. Still more confused, the poor man advanced to Princess Elizabeth. "No, no; it's not her!" cried the king. I had held back, having scarce power to open my eyes, from avehement head-ache, and not, indeed, wishing to go through myexamination till there were fewer witnesses. But his majesty nowdrew me out. "Here, Mr. Clerk, " he cried, "this is your new patient!" He then came bowing up to me, the king standing close by, and therest pretty near. "You--you are not well, ma'am?" he cried in the greatestembarrassment, "No, sir, not quite, " I answered in ditto. "O, Mr. Clerk will cure you!" cried the king. "Are-are you feverish, ma'am?" "Yes, sir, a little. " "I--I will send you a saline draught, ma'am. " "If you please. " And then he bowed and decamped. Did you ever hear a more perfectly satisfactory examination? Thepoor modest man was overpowered by such royal listeners andspectators, and I could not possibly relieve him, for I waslittle better myself. I went down to breakfast, but was so exceedingly oppressed Icould not hold up my head, and as soon as I could escape I wentto my own room, and laid down till my noon attendance, which Iperformed with so much difficulty I was obliged to return to thesame indulgence the moment I was at liberty. FROM GRAVE TO GAY. Down at last I went, slow and wrapped up. I found Mr. Fairlyalone in the parlour, reading letters with such intentness thathe did not raise his head, and with an air of the deepestdejection. I remained wholly unnoticed a considerable time; butat last he looked up, and with some surprise, but a voice OF Page 197 of extreme sadness, he said, "Is that Miss Burney? I thought ithad been Miss Planta. " I begged him to read on, and not mind me; and I called for tea. When we had done tea, "See, ma'am, " he cried, "I have brought You'Carr, ' and here is a sermon upon the text I mean, when I preach, to choose 'Keep innocency, and take heed to the thing that isright; for that will bring a man peace at the last. '" Sincerely I commended his choice ; and we had a most solemndiscussion of happiness, not such as coincides with gaiety here, but hope of salvation hereafter. His mind has so religious apropensity, that it seems to me, whenever he leaves it to itsnatural bent, to incline immediately and instinctively tosubjects of that holy nature. Humility, he said, in conclusion, humility was all in all fortranquillity of mind; with that, little was expected and much wasborne, and the smallest good was a call for gratitude andcontent. How could this man be a soldier? Might one not think hewas bred in the cloisters? "Well, " cried he, again taking up the volume of "Carr, " "I willjust sit and read this sermon, and then quietly go home. " He did so, feelingly, forcibly, solemnly; it is an excellentsermon; yet so read--he so sad, and myself so ill--it was almosttoo much for me, and I had some difficulty to behave with properpropriety. To him subjects of this sort, ill or well, bringnothing, I believe, but strength as well as comfort. The voiceof dejection with which he began changed to one of firmness erehe had read three pages. Something he saw of unusual sinking, notwithstanding whatI hid; and, with a very kind concern, when he had finished thesermon, he said, "Is there anything upon your spirits?" "No, " I assured him, "but I was not well; and mind and bodyseemed to go together sometimes, when they did not. " "But they do go together, " cried he, "and will. " However, he took no further- notice: he is like me, for myself, in that--that whatever he thinks only bodily is little worthattention; and I did not care to risk explaining to his strongand virtuous mind the many fears and mixed sensations of mine, when brought to a close disquisition of awaiting eternity. I never, but with Mrs. Delany and Dr. Johnson, have entered sofully and so frequently upon this awful subject as Page 198 with Mr. Fairly. My dear and most revered Mrs. Delany dwelt uponit continually, with joy, and pure, yet humble hope. Myever-honoured Dr. Johnson recurred to it perpetually, with aveneration compounded of diffidence and terror, and an incessant, yet unavailing plan, of amending all errors, and rising intoperfection. Mr. Fairly leans upon it as the staff of hisstrength--the trust, the hope, the rest of his soul--too big forsatisfaction in aught this world has given, or can reserve forhim. ' He did not, however, "go quietly home, " when he had finished thesermon; on the contrary, he revived in his spirits, and animatedin his discourse, and stayed on. In speaking of the king he suddenly recollected some very finelines of Churchill, made on his accession to the throne. I wishI could transcribe them, they are so applicable to that goodking, from that moment of promise to the present of performance. But I know not in what part of Churchill's works they may befound. Finding me unacquainted with his poems he then repeated severalpassages, all admirably chosen ; but among them his memory calledforth some that were written upon Lord H--, which were of thebitterest severity I ever heard:--whether deserved or not, Heavenknows; but Mr. Fairly said he would repeat them, for the merit ofthe composition. There was no examining his opinion of theirveracity, and he made no comments; but this: Lord H-- was thefamous man so often in the House of Commons accused of expending, or retaining, unaccounted millions Having run through all he could immediately recollect, he said, with a very droll smile, "Come, now I'll finish our ode, " andwent to my drawer for "Akenside. " His fears of surprise, however, again came upon him so stronglywhile reading it, that he flung away the book in the utmostcommotion at every sound, lest any one was entering, alwayssaying in excuse, "We must not be called two blue stockings;"and, "They are so glad to laugh; the world is so always on thewatch for ridicule. " . . . I know not by what means, but after this we talked over Mr. Hastings's trial. I find he is very much acquainted with Mr. Windham, and I surprised him not a little, I saw, by what I toldhim of part Of My conferences with that gentleman. This matter having led us from our serious subjects, he took Page 199) up "Akenside" once more, and read to me the first bookthroughout, What a very, very charming poem is the "Pleasures ofthe Imagination!" He stayed to the last moment, and left me allthe better for the time he thus rescued from feverish lassitudeand suffering. A VISIT TO WORCESTER. Tuesday, Aug. 5-The journey to Worcester was very pleasant, andthe country through which we passed extremely luxuriant andpretty. We did not go in by the Barborne road ; but all theroad, and all avenues leading to it, were lined with people, andwhen we arrived at the city we could see nothing but faces ; theylined the windows from top to bottom, and the pavement from endto end. We drove all through the city to come to the palace of BishopHurd, at which we were to reside. Upon stopping there, the kinghad an huzza that seemed to vibrate through the whole town ; theprincess royal's carriage had a second, and the equerries athird; the mob then, as ours drew on in succession, seemed todeliberate whether or not we also should have a cheer: but one ofthem soon decided the matter by calling out, "These are the maidsof honour!" and immediately they gave us an huzza that made usquite ashamed, considering its vicinity. Mr. Fairly and Colonel Goldsworthy having performed the royalattendance, waited to hand us out of the carriage ; and then theformer said he believed he should not be wanted, and would go andmake a visit in the town. I should have much liked walking offalso, and going to my cousins at Barborne Lodge; but I was nofree agent, and obliged to wait for commands. The house is old and large; part of it looks to the Severn butthe celebrated "Fair Sabrina" was so thick and muddy, that atthis time her vicinity added but little to the beauty of thesituation. My bed-room is pleasant, with a view of the distant country andthe Severn beneath it; but it is through that of the princessroyal; which is an inconvenience her royal highness submits towith a grace that would make me ashamed to call it one to myself. The parlour for our eating is large and dark, and old-fashioned. I made tea in it to-night for Lord Courtown and the two colonels, and Miss Planta, and was so much the Page 200 better for my journey, that I felt the influenza nearlyconquered. Wednesday, Aug. 6. -I had the pleasure to arrange going to themusic meeting with my own family. Notes were immediatelyinterchanged from and to Barborne Lodge, and the queen was verywell pleased that I should have this opportunity of joining myfriends. Mr. And Mrs. Hawkins and Betsy called for me at thebishop's. I was heartily glad to see Betsy and Mrs. Hawkins I introducedMiss Planta to them, who was of our party. We sat in what arecalled the steward's places, immediately under their majesties. The performance was very long, and tolerably tedious, consistingof Handel's gravest pieces and fullest choruses, and concludingwith a sermon concerning the institution of the charity, preachedby Dr. Langhorne. I was, however, so glad to be with my cousins, that the morning was very comfortable and pleasant to me. Richard and James joined us occasionally. ; the rest of the familyare at Shrewsbury. It was over very late, and we then went about the church, to seeKing John's tomb, etc, They were very earnest with me to go toBarborne but it was impossible. I promised, however, toaccompany them to the concert at night, and be of their party toall the morning meetings at the cathedral. ' My parlour at the bishop's afforded me a good deal ofentertainment, from observing the prodigious concourse of peoplefrom all the tops of houses, and looking over the walls to watchhis majesty's entrance into the court-yard. Poor Lord Courtown, on account of his star, was continually taken for the king, andreceived so many huzzas and shouts, that he hardly dared showhimself except when in attendance. THE QUEEN AND MR. FAIRLY. Saturday, Aug. 9. -Her majesty this morning a little surprised meby gravely asking me what were Mr. Fairly's designs with regardto his going away ? I could not tell her I did not know what Iwas really acquainted with; yet I feared it might seem odd to herthat I should be better informed than herself, and it was trulyunpleasant to me to relate anything he had told me without hisleave. Her question, therefore, gave me a painful sensation; butit was spoken with an air so strongly denoting a belief that Ihad power to answer it, that I felt no choice in making a plainreply. Simply, then, "I understand, Page 201 ma'am, " I said, "that he means to go to-morrow morningearly. " "Will he stay on to-night, then, at Worcester?" "N-o, ma'am, I believe not. " "I thought he meant to leave us to-day? He said so. " "He intended it, ma'am, --he would else not have said it. " "I know I understood so, though he has not spoke to me of hisdesigns this great while. " I saw an air bordering upon displeasure as this was said and howsorry I felt!--and how ashamed of being concluded the personbetter informed! Yet, as he had really related to me his plan, and I knew it to be what he had thought most respectful toherself, I concluded it best, thus catechised, to speak it all, and therefore, after some hesitation uninterrupted by her, Isaid, "I believe, ma'am, Mr. Fairly had intended fully to beginhis journey to-day, but, as Your majesty is to go to the playto-night, he thinks it his duty to defer setting out tillto-morrow, that he may have the honour to attend your majesty asusual. " This, which was the exact truth, evidently pleased her. Here the inquiry dropped; but I was very uneasy to relate it toMr. Fairly, that the sacrifice I knew he meant to make of anotherday might not lose all its grace by wanting to be properlyrevealed. MR. FAIRLY MORALIZES. Our journey back to Cheltenham was much more quiet than it hadbeen to Worcester, for the royal party too], another route to seeMalvern hills, and we went straight forward. Miss Planta having now caught the influenza, suffered very muchall the way, and I persuaded her immediately to lie down when wegot to Fauconberg Hall. She could not come down to dinner, whichI had alone. The Princess Elizabeth came to me after it, withher majesty's permission that I might go to the play with myusual party ; but I declined it, that I might make some tea forpoor Miss Planta, as she had no maid, nor any creature to helpher. The princess told me they were all going first upon thewalks, to promener till the play time. I sat down to make my solitary tea, and had just sent up a basinto Miss Planta, when, to my equal surprise and pleasure, Mr. Fairly entered the room. "I come now, " he said, "to take myleave. " They were all, he added, gone to the walks, whither he must Page 202 in a few minutes follow them, and thence attend to the play, andthe next morning, by five o'clock, be ready for his post-chaise. Seeing me, however, already making tea, with his Usual andinvariable sociability he said he would venture to stay andpartake, though he was only come, he gravely repeated, to takehis leave. "And I must not say, " cried I, "that I am sorry you are going, because I know so well you wish to be gone that it makes me wishit for you myself. " "No, " answered he, "you must not be sorry; when our friends aregoing to any joy. We must think of them, and be glad to partwith them. " Readily entering the same tone, with similar plainness of truth Ianswered, No, I will not be sorry you go, though miss you atCheltenham I certainly must. " "Yes, " was his unreserved assent, "you will miss me here, becauseI have spent my evenings with you; but You Will not long remainat Cheltenham. " Oim`e!" thought I, you little think how much Worse will be thequitting it. He owned that the bustle and fatigue of this lifewas too much both for his health and his spirits. I told him I Wished it might be a gratification to him, in histoils, to hear how the queen always spoke of him; With whatevident and constant complacency and distinction. "And you maycredit her sincerity, " I added, "Since it is to so little aperson as me she does this, and when no one else is present. " He was not insensible to this, though he passed it over withoutmuch answer. He showed me a letter from his second son, veryaffectionate and natural. I congratulated him, most sincerely, on his approaching happiness in collecting them all together. "Yes he answered, "my group will increase, like a snow-ball, as Iroll along, and they will soon all four be as happy as fourlittle things know how to be. " This drew him on into some reflections upon affection and uponhappiness. "There is no happiness, " he said, "withoutparticipation; no participation without affection. There is, indeed, in affection a charm that leaves all things behind it, and renders even every calamity that does not interfere with itinconsequential and there is no difficulty, no toil, no labour, no exertion, that will not be endured where there is a view ofreaping it. " He ruminated some time, and then told me of a sermon he had heardpreached some months ago, sensibly demonstrating Page 203 the total vanity and insufficiency, even for this world, of allour best affections, and proving their fallibility from our mostinfirm humanity. My concurrence did not here continue: I cannot hold this doctrineto be right, and I am most sure it is not desirable. Our bestaffections, I must and do believe, were given us for the bestpurposes, for every stimulation to good, and every solace inevil. But this was not a time for argument. I said nothing, while he, melancholy and moralizing, continued in this style as long as hecould venture to stay. He then rose and took his hat, saying, "Well, so much for the day; what may come to-morrow I know not;but, be it what it may, I stand prepared. " I hoped, I told him, that his little snowball would be all hecould wish it, and I was heartily glad he would so soon collectit. "We will say, " cried he, "nothing of any regrets, " and bowed, andwas hastening off. The "we, " however, had an openness and simplicity that drew fromme an equally open and simple reply. "No, " I cried, "but I willsay-for that you will have pleasure in hearing that you havelightened my time here in a manner that no one else could havedone, of this party. " To be sure this was rather a circumscribed compliment, those heleft considered - but it was strict and exact truth, andtherefore like his own dealing. He said not a word of answer, but bowed, and went away, leaving me firmly impressed with abelief that I shall find in him a true, an honourable, and evenan affectionate friend, for life. MAJOR PRICE IS TIRED OF RETIREMENT. Sunday, Aug. 10. -Major Price was of the breakfast party thismorning, to my great contentment. I heartily wish he was againin the king's household, he is so truly attached to his majesty, and he so earnestly himself wishes for a restoration, not to theequerryship, which is too laborious an office, but to anyattendance upon the king's person of less fatigue. He opened to me very much upon his situation and wishes. He hassettled himself in a small farm near the house of his eldestbrother, but I could see too plainly he has not found there thecontentment that satisfies him. He sighs for society ; he ownsbooks are insufficient for everything, and his evenings Page 204 begin already to grow wearisome. He does not wish it to betalked of publicly, but he is solicitous to return to the king, in any place attached to his person, of but mild duty. Not onlythe king, he said, he loved, but all his society, and the way oflife in general; and he had no tie whatsoever to Herefordshirethat would make him hesitate a moment in quitting it, if anotherplace could be made adequate to his fortune. His income wasquite too small for any absence from his home of more than a fewweeks, in its present plight; and therefore it could alone be bysome post under government that he must flatter himself with everreturning to the scenes he had left. How rarely does a plan of retirement answer the expectations uponwhich it is raised! He fears having this suspected, andtherefore keeps the matter to himself; but I believe he so muchopened it to me, in the hope I might have an opportunity to makeit known where it might be efficacious; for he told me, at thesame time, he apprehended his majesty had a notion his fondnessfor Herefordshire, not his inability to continue equerry, hadoccasioned his resignation. I shall certainly make it my business to hint this to the queen. So faithful and attached a servant ought not to be thrown aside, and, after nine years' service, left unrewarded, and seemconsidered as if superannuated. MR. FAIRLY'S LITTLE NOTE. When I came from her majesty, just before she went down todinner, I was met by a servant who delivered me a letter, whichhe told me was just come by express. I took it in some alarm, fearing that ill news alone could bring it by such haste, but, before I could open it, he said, "'Tis from Mr. Fairly, ma'am. " I hastened to read, and will now copy it:- "Northleach, Aug. 10, 1788. "Her majesty may possibly not have heard that Mr. Edmund Wallerdied on Thursday night. He was master of St. Catherine's, whichis in her majesty's gift. It may be useful to her to have thisearly intelligence of this circumstance, and you will have thegoodness to mention it to her. Mr. W. Was at a house upon his own estate within a mile and a half of this place, Very truly and sincerely yours, "S. Fairly. " "Miss Burney, Fauconberg Hall. " Page 205 How to communicate this news, however, was a real distress to me. I know her majesty is rather scrupulous that all messagesimmediately to herself should be conveyed by the highestchannels, and I feared she would think this ought to have beensent through her lady then in waiting, Lady Harcourt. Mr. Fairly, too, however superior to such small matters for himself, is most punctiliously attentive to them for her. I couldattribute this only to haste. But my difficulty was not alone tohave received the intelligence-the conclusion of the note I wassure would surprise her. The rest, as a message to herself, being without any beginning, would not strike her; but the words"very truly and sincerely yours, " come out with such an abruptplainness, and to her, who knows not with what intimacy ofintercourse we have lived together so much during this lastmonth, I felt quite ashamed to show them. While wavering how to manage, a fortunate circumstance seemed tocome to my relief; the Princess Elizabeth ran up hastily to herroom, which is just opposite to mine, before she followed thequeen down to dinner; I flew after her, and told her I had justheard of the death of Mr. Waller, the Master of St. Catherine's, and I begged her to communicate it to her majesty. She undertook it, with her usual readiness to oblige, and I wasquite delighted to have been so speedy without producing my note, which I determined now not even to mention unless called upon, and even then not to produce; for now, as I should not have thefirst telling, it might easily be evaded by not having it in mypocket. The moment, however, that the dinner was over, Princess Elizabethcame to summon me to the queen. This was very unexpected, as Ithought I should not see her till night; but I locked up my noteand followed. She was only with the princesses. I found the place was ofimportance, by the interest she took about it. She asked meseveral questions relative to Mr. Waller. I answered her all Icould collect from my note, for further never did I hear; but themoment I was obliged to stop she said, "Pray have you known himlong?" "I never knew him at all, ma'am. " "No? Why, then, how came you to receive the news about hisdeath?" Was not this agreeable? I was forced to say, "I heard of it onlyfrom Mr. Fairly, ma'am. " Page 206 Nothing Could exceed the surprise with which she now lifted upher eyes to look at me. "From Mr. Fairly?--Why did he not tellit me?" O, worse and worse! I was now compelled to answer, "He did notknow It when he was here, ma'am; he heard it at Northleach, and, thinking it might be of use to your majesty to have the accountimmediately, he sent it over express. " A dead silence so uncomfortable ensued, that I thought it bestpresently to go on further, though unasked. "Mr. Fairly, ma'am, wrote the news to me, on such small paper, and in such haste, that it is hardly fit to he shown to yourmajesty; but I have the note upstairs. " No answer; again all silent; and then Princess Augusta said, "Mamma, Miss Burney says she has the note upstairs. " "If your majesty pleases to see it"-- She looked up again, much more pleasantly, and said, "I shall beglad to see it, " with a little bow. Out I went for it, half regretting I had not burned it, to makethe producing it impossible. When I brought it to her, shereceived it with the most gracious smile, and immediately read italoud, with great complacency, till she came to the end and then, with a lowered and somewhat altered tone, the "very truly andsincerely yours, " which she seemed to look at for a moment withsome doubt if it were not a mistake, but in returning it shebowed again, and simply said, "I am very much obliged to Mr. Fairly. " You will be sure how much I was pleased during this last week tohear that the place of the Master of St. Catherine's was given byher majesty to Mr. Fairly. It is reckoned the best in her gift, as a sinecure. What is the income I know not: reports differfrom 400 to 500 per annum. THE RETURN TO WINDSOR. Saturday, Aug. 16. -We left Cheltenham early this morning. MajorPrice breakfasted with us, and was so melancholy at the king'sdeparture he could hardly speak a word. All Cheltenham was drawnout into the High-street, the gentles on one side and the commonson the other, and a band, and "God save the king, " playing andsinging. My dear Port, with all her friends, was there for a last look, and a sorrowful one we interchanged; Mr. Seward also, whom againI am not likely to meet for another two years at least. Page 207 The journey was quite without accident or adventure. And thus ends the Cheltenham episode. May I not justly call itso, different as it is to all the mode of life I have hithertolived here, or alas I am in a way to live henceforward? melancholy--most melancholy-was the return to Windsor destituteof all that could solace, compose, or delight ; replete withwhatever could fatigue, harass, and depress! Ease, leisure, elegant society, and interesting communication, were now to giveplace to arrogant manners, contentious disputation, and arbitraryignorance! Oh, heaven! my dearest friends, what scales couldhave held and have weighed the heart of your F. B. As she drovepast the door of her revered, lost comforter, to enter theapartment inhabited by such qualities! But before I quit this journey let me tell one very pleasantanecdote. When we stopped to change horses at Burford I alightedand went into the inn, to meet Mrs. Gast, to whom I had sent byMrs. Frodsham a request to be there as we passed through thetown. I rejoiced indeed to see again the sister of our first andwisest friend. My Susanna, who knows her too enthusiasticcharacter, will easily suppose my reception. I was folded in herarms, and bathed in her tears all my little stay, and my own, from reflected tenderness for her ever-honoured, loved, andlamented brother, would not be kept quite back; 'twas a speciesof sorrowful joy--painful, yet pleasing--that seemed like a freshtribute to his memory and my affection, and made the meetingexcite an emotion that occupied my mind and reflections almostall the rest of my journey. She inquired most kindly after my dear father and my Susanna, andseparately and with interest of all the rest of the family; buther surprise to see me now, by this most un expected journey, when she had concluded me inevitably shut up from her sight forthe remainder of her life, joined to the natural warmth of herdisposition, seemed almost to suffocate her. I was very sorry toleave her, but my time was unavoidably short and hurried. Iinquired after Chesington, and heard very good accounts. AT WINDSOR AGAIN THE CANON AND MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. Windsor, Sunday, Aug. 17. -This day, after our arrival, beganprecisely the same as every day preceding our journey. TheSleeping Beauty in the Wood could not awake more completely tothe same scene; yet I neither have been asleep, nor Page 208 am quite a beauty! O! I wish I were as near to the latter as theformer at this minute! We had all the set assembled to congratulate his majesty on hisreturn--generals and colonels without end. I was very glad whilethe large party lasted, its diminution into a solitary pairending in worse than piquet--a tête-à-tête!--and such a one, too! after being so spoiled! Monday, Aug. 18. -Well, now I have a new personage to introduce toyou, and no small one; ask else the stars, moon and planets!While I was surrounded with bandboxes, and unpacking, Dr. Shepherd was announced. Eager to make his compliments on thesafe return, he forced a passage through the back avenues andstairs, for he told me he did not like being seen coming to me atthe front door, as it might create some jealousies amongst theother canons! A very commendable circumspection! but whether formy sake or his own he did not particularize. M. De Lalande, he said, the famous astronomer, (290) was justarrived in England, and now at Windsor, and he had expressed adesire to be introduced to me. Well, while he was talking this over, and I was wondering andevading, entered Mr. Turbulent. What a surprise at sight of thereverend canon! The reverend canon, also, was interrupted andconfused, fearing, possibly, the high honour he did me might nowtranspire amongst his brethren, notwithstanding his generousefforts to spare them its knowledge. Mr. Turbulent, who looked big with heroics, was quite provoked tosee he had no chance of giving them vent. They each outstayedthe patience of the other, and at last both went off together. Some hours after, however, while I was dressing, the canonreturned. I could not admit him, and bid Goter tell him at thedoor I was not visible. He desired he might wait till I wasready, as he had business of importance. I would not let himinto the next room, but said he might stay in the eating-parlour. When I was dressed I sent Goter to bring him in. She came back, grinning and colouring, ; she had not found him, she said, butonly Mrs. Schwellenberg, who was there alone, and had Page 209 called her in to know what she wanted. She answered she came toseek for a gentleman. "There's no gentleman, " she cried, "to come into my parlour. Itis not permit. When he comes I will have it locked up. " O, ho, my poor careful canon! thought I. However, soon after atap again at my door introduced him. He said he had been waitingbelow in the passage, as he saw Madame Schwellenberg in theparlour, and did not care to have her know him; but his businesswas to settle bringing M. De Lalande to see me in the evening. Itold him I was much honoured, and so forth, but that I receivedno evening company, as I was officially engaged. He had made the appointment, he said, and could not break itwithout affronting him; besides, he gave me to understand itwould be an honour to me for ever to be visited by so great anastronomer. I agreed as to that, and was forced, moreover, toagree to all the rest, no resource remaining I mentioned to her majesty the state of the case. She thoughtthe canon very officious, and disapproved the arrangement, butsaw it was unavoidable. But when the dinner came I was asked by the présidente, "What forsend you gentlemen to my parlour?" " I was dressing, ma'am, and could not possibly receive companyin mine, and thought the other empty. " "Empty or full is the same! I won't have it. I will lock up theroom when it is done so. No, no, I won't have no gentlemen here;it is not permit, perticklere when they Nvon't not speak to me!" I then heard that "a large man, what you call, " had entered thatsacred domain, and seeing there a lady, had quitted it "bobshort!" I immediately explained all that had passed, for I had no otherway to save myself from an imputation of favouring the visits andindiscretion of this most gallant canon. "Vell, when he comes so often he might like you. For what won'tyou not marry him?" This was coming to the point, and so seriously, I found myselfobliged to be serious in answer, to avoid misconstruction, and toassure her, that were he Archbishop of Canterbury, and actuallyat my feet, I would not become archbishopess. "Vell, you been right when you don't not like him; I don't notlike the men neither: not one from them!" Page 210 So this settled us very amicably till tea-time, and in the midstof that, with a room full of people, I was called out byWesterhaults to Dr. Shepherd! Mrs. Schwellenberg herself actually te-he'd at this, and I couldnot possibly help laughing myself, but I hurried into the nextroom, where I found him with his friend, M. De Lalande. What areception awaited me! how unexpected a one from a famed and greatastronomer. COMPLIMENTS FROM A FAMOUS FOREIGN ASTRONOMER. M. De Lalande advanced to meet me---I will not be quite positiveit was on tiptoe, but certainly with a mixture of jerk and strutthat could not be quite flat-footed. He kissed my hand with theair of a petit-maître, and then broke forth into such an harangueof éloges, so solemn with regard to its own weight andimportance, and so fade(291) with respect to the little personageaddressed, that I could not help thinking it lucky for theplanets, stars, and sun, they were not bound to hear hiscomments, though obliged to undergo his calculations. On my part sundry profound reverences, with now and then an "O, monsieur!" or "c'est trop d'honneur, " acquitted me so well, thatthe first harangue being finished, on the score of general andgrand reputation, éloge the second began, on the excellency withwhich "cette célèbre demoiselle" spoke French! This may surprise you, my dear friends; but You must consider M. De Lalande is a great discoverer. Well, but had you seen Dr. Shepherd! he looked lost in sleekdelight and wonder, that a person to whom he had introduced M. DeLalande should be an object for such fine speeches. This gentleman's figure, meanwhile, corresponds no better withhis discourse than his scientific profession, for he is an uglylittle wrinkled old man, with a fine showy waistcoat, rich laceruffles, and the grimaces of a dentist. I believe he chose todisplay that a Frenchman of science could be also a man ofgallantry. I was seated between them, but the good doctor made no greaterinterruption to the florid professor than I did myself; he onlygrinned applause, with placid, but ineffable satisfaction. Nothing therefore intervening, éloge the third followed, after apause no longer than might be necessary for due admiration Page 211 of éloge the second. This had for sujet the fair female sex; howthe ladies were now all improved; how they could write, and read, and spell; how a man now-a-days might talk with them and beunderstood, and how delightful it was to see such prettycreatures turned rational! And all this, of course, interspersed with particularobservations and most pointed applications; nor was there in thewhole string of compliments which made up the three bouquets, onesingle one amongst them that might have disgraced any petitmaître to utter, or any petite maîtresse to hear. The third being ended, a rather longer pause ensued. I believehe was dry, but I offered him no tea. I would not voluntarily beaccessory to detaining such great personages from higheravocations. I wished him next to go and study the stars: fromthe moon he seemed so lately arrived there was little occasionfor another journey. I flatter myself he was of the same opinion, for the fourth élogewas all upon his unhappiness in tearing himself away from so muchmerit, and ended in as many bows as had accompanied his entrance. I suppose, in going, he said, with a shrug, to the canon, "M. Ledocteur, c'est bien gênant, mais il faut dire des jolies chosesaux dames!"(293) He was going the next day to see Dr. Maskelyne's observatory. Well! I have had him first in mine! I was obliged on my return to the tea-room to undergo much dullraillery from my fair companion, and Much of wonder that "sincethe canon had such good preferment" I did not "marry him atonce, " for he "would not come so often if he did not want it. " THE PRINCE EYES MISS BURNEY CURIOUSLY. Tuesday, Aug. 18. --The Duke of York's birthday was kept this day, instead of Saturday, that Sunday morning might not interfere withthe ball. The Prince of Wales arrived early, while I was yet with thequeen. He kissed her hand, and she sent for the princesses. Only Princess Elizabeth and Princess Sophia were dressed. Hermajesty went into the next room with Mrs. Sandys, to have hershoes put on, with which she always finishes. The prince andprincesses then chatted away most fluently. Page 212 Princess Elizabeth frequently addressed me with great sweetnessbut the prince only with curious eyes. Do not, however, understand that his looks were either haughty or impertinent farfrom it ; they were curious, however, in the extreme. COLONEL MANNERS'S BEATING. Colonel Manners made me laugh as If I had been at a farce, by hishistory of the late Westminster election, in which Lord JohnTownshend conquered Lord Hood. Colonel Manners is a most eagerand active partisan on the side of the government, but soindiscreet, that he almost regularly gets his head broke at everycontested election; and he relates it as a thing of course. I inquired if he pursued his musical studies, so happily begunwith Colonel Wellbred? "Why, " answered he, "not much, because ofthe election; but the thing is, to get an ear: however, I think Ihave got one, because I know a tune when I hear it, if it's onethat I've heard before a good many times so I think that's aproof. But I can never get asked to a concert, and that keeps mea little behind. " "Perhaps, " cried I, "your friends conclude you have music enoughin your three months' waiting to satisfy you for all the year?" "O, ma'am, as to that, I'd just as lief hear so many pots andpans rattled together; one noise is just as well as another tome. " I asked him whether his electioneering with so much activity didnot make his mother, Lady Robert, a little uneasy?--N. B. She isa methodist. "O, it does her a great deal of good, " cried he;"for I couldnever get her to meddle before ; but when I'd had my head broke, it provoked her so, she went about herself canvassing among thegood people, --and she got us twenty votes. " "So then, " cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "there are twenty goodpeople in the world? That's your calculation, is it?" Mr. Fisher, who just then came in, and knew nothing of what hadpassed, starting the election, said to Colonel Manners, "So, sir, you have been beat, I hear!" He meant only his party ; but his person having shared the samefate, occasioned a violent shout among the rest at this innocentspeech, and its innocent answer - for Colonel Man- Page 213 ners, looking only a little surprised, simply said, "Yes, I wasbeat, a little. " "A little, sir?" exclaimed Mr. Fisher, "no, a great deal you wereshamefully beat--thrashed thoroughly. " In the midst of a violent second shout, Colonel Manners onlysaid, "Well, I always hated all that party, and now I hate themworse than ever. " "Ay, that I'll be bound for you, " cried Colonel Goldsworthy. "Yes for having been so drubbed by them, " cried Mr. Fisher. As I now, through all his good humour, saw Colonel Manners colour a little, I said in a low voice to Mr. Fisher, "Pray is itin innocence, or in malice, that you use these terms. " I saw his innocence by his surprise, and I whispered him theliteral state of all he said; he was quite shocked, and colouredin his turn, apologising instantly to Colonel Manners, andprotesting he had never heard of his personal ill usage, but onlymeant the defeat of his party. MR. FAIRLY IS DISCUSSED BY HIS BROTHER EQUERRIES. Everybody was full of Mr. Fairly's appointment, and spoke of itwith pleasure. General Budé had seen him in town, where he hadremained some days, to take the oaths, I believe, necessary forhis place. General Budé has long been intimate with him, andspoke of his character exactly as it has appeared to me; andColonel Goldsworthy, who was at Westminster with him, declared hebelieved a better man did not exist. "This, in particular, "cried General Budé, "I must say of Fairly: whatever he thinksright he pursues straightforward and I believe there is not asacrifice upon earth that he would not make, rather than turn amoment out of the path that he had an opinion it was his duty tokeep in. " They talked a good deal of his late lady; none of them knew herbut very slightly, as she was remarkably reserved. "More thanreserved, " cried General Budé, "she was quite cold. Yet sheloved London and public life, and Fairly never had any taste forthem; in that they were very mal assortis, but in all otherthings very happy. " "Yes, " cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "and how shall we give praiseenough to a man that would be happy himself, and make Page 214 his wife so too, for all that difference of opinion ? for it wasall his management, and good address, and good temper. I hardlyknow such another man. " General Budé then related many circumstances of his mostexemplary conduct during the illness of his poor suffering wife, and after her loss; everybody, indeed, upon the occasion of thisnew appointment, has broke forth to do justice to his deservingit. Mrs. Ariana Egerton, who came twice to drink tea with me onmy being sensa Cerbera, told me that her brother-in-law, ColonelMasters, who had served with him at Gibraltar, protested therewas not an officer in the army of a nobler and higher character, both professional and personal. She asked me a thousand questions of what I thought about MissFuzilier? She dislikes her so very much, she cannot bear tothink of her becoming Mrs. Fairly. She has met with some marksof contempt from her in their official meetings at St. James's, that cannot be pardoned. Miss Fuziller, indeed, seemed to meformerly, when I used to meet her in company, to have anuncertainty of disposition that made her like two persons; nowhaughty, silent, and supercilious--and then gentle, composed, andinteresting. She Is, however, very little liked, the worst beingalways what most spreads abroad. BARON TRENCK: MR. TURBULENT"S RAILLERY. Sept. 1. -Peace to the manes of the poor slaughtered partridges! I finished this morning the "Memoirs of Baron Trenck, " which havegiven me a great deal of entertainment; I mean in the firstvolume, the second containing not more matter than might fillfour pages. But the singular hardiness, gallantry, ferocity, andingenuity of this copy of the knights of ancient times, who hashappened to be born since his proper epoch, have wonderfullydrawn me on, and I could not rest without finishing hisadventures. They are reported to be chiefly of his owninvention; but I really find an air of self-belief in hisrelations, that inclines me to think he has but narrated what hehad persuaded himself was true. His ill-usage is such as toraise the utmost indignation in every reader and if it reallyaffected his memory and imagination, and became thence the parentof some few embellishments and episodes, I can neither wonder norfeel the interest of his narrative diminished. Sept. 2. -Mr. Turbulent was in high rage that I was utterly Page 215 invisible since my return from Cheltenham; he protested he hadcalled seven times at my door without gaining admission, andnever was able to get in but when " Dr. Shepherd had led theway. He next began a mysterious attack upon the proceedings ofCheltenham. He had heard, he said, strange stories offlirtations there. I could not doubt what he meant, but I wouldnot seem to understand him: first, because I know not from whomhe has been picking up this food for his busy spirit, since noone there appeared collecting it for him ; and secondly, becauseI would not degrade an acquaintance which I must hope will proveas permanent as it is honourable, by conceiving the wordflirtation to be possibly connected with it. By every opportunity, in the course of the day, he renewed thisobscure raillery; but I never would second it, either by questionor retort, and therefore it cannot but die away unmeaningly as itwas born. Some effect, however, it seems to have had upon him, who has withdrawn all his own heroics, while endeavouring todevelop what I have received elsewhere. AMIABLE MRS. SCHWELLENBERG AGAIN. Sept. 4. -To-day there was a Drawing-room, and I had the blessingof my dearest father while it lasted; but not solus; he wasaccompanied by my mother; and my dear Esther and her littleinnocent Sophy spent part of the time with us. I am to begod-mother to the two little ones, Esther's and James's. Heavenbless them! We returned to Kew to a late dinner; and, indeed, I had one ofthe severest evenings I ever passed, where my heart took no sharein unkindness and injustice. I was wearied in the extreme, as Ialways am on these drawing-room days, which begin with fullhair-dressing at six o'clock in the morning, and hardly everallow any breakfast time, and certainly only standing, exceptwhile frizzing, till the drawing-room commences; and then twojourneys in that decked condition--and then another dressing, with three dressing attendances--and a dinner at near seveno'clock. Yet, not having power to be very amusing after all this, I wassternly asked by Mrs. Schwellenberg, "For what I did not talk?" I answered simply, "Because I was tired. " "You tired!--what have you done? when I used to do so much more--you tired! what have you to do but to be happy: Page 216 --have you the laces to buy? have you the wardrobe to part? haveyou--you tired? Vell, what will become next, when you have everyhappiness!--you might not be tired. No, I can't bear It. " This, and so much more than it would be possible to write, alluttered with a haughtiness and contempt that the lowest servantcould not have brooked receiving, awoke me pretty completely, though before I was scarce able to keep my eyelids a moment open;but so sick I turned, that indeed it was neither patience noreffort that enabled me to hear her; I had literally hardlystrength, mental or bodily, to have answered her. Everyhappiness mine!--O gracious heaven! thought I, and is this thecompanion of my leisure--the associate of my life! Ah, my dearfriends, I will not now go on--I turn sick again. A ROYAL JOKE. Sept. 29. -The birth-day of our lovely eldest princess. It happens to be also the birth-day of Miss Goldsworthy; andher majesty, in a sportive humour, bid me, as soon as she was dressed, go and bring down the two "Michaelmas geese. " I told the message to the Princess Augusta, who repeated Itin its proper words. I attended them to the queen's dressing-room, and there had the pleasure to see the cadeauxpresentations. The birth-days in this house are made extremelyinteresting at the moment, by the reciprocations of presents andcongratulations in this affectionate family. Were they butattended with less of toil (I hate to add ette, for I am sure itis not little toil), I should like them amazingly. COLONEL GOLDSWORTHY'S BREACH OF ETIQUETTE. Mrs. Schwellenberg has become both colder and fiercer. I cannotnow even meet her eyes-they are almost terrifying. Nothing uponearth having passed between us, nor the most remote subject ofoffence having occurred, I have only one thing on which to restmy conjectures, for the cause of this newly-awakened evil spirit, and this is from the gentlemen. They had all of late been sowearied that they could not submit even for a quarter of an hourto her society : they had swallowed a dish of tea and quitted theroom all in five minutes, and Colonel Goldsworthy in particular, when without any companion in his waiting, had actually alwaysfallen asleep, Page 217 even during that short interval, or at least shut his eyes, to save himself the toil of speaking. This she brooked very ill, but I was esteemed innocent, andtherefore made, occasionally, the confidant of her complaints. But lately, that she has been ill, and kept upstairs every night, she has always desired me to come to her as soon as tea was over, which, she observed, "need not keep me five minutes. " On thecontrary, however, the tea is now at least an hour, and oftenmore. I have been constantly received with reproaches for not comingsooner, and compelled to declare I had not been sooner atliberty. This has occasioned a deep and visible resentment, allagainst them, yet vented upon me, not in acknowledgeddispleasure--pride there interfered--but in constant ill-humour, ill-breeding, and ill-will. At length, however, she has broken out into one inquiry, which, if favourably answered, might have appeased all; but truth wastoo strongly in the way. A few evenings after her confinementshe very gravely said, "Colonel Goldsworthy always sleeps withme! sleeps he with you the same?" In the midst of all my irksome discomfort, it was with difficultyI could keep my countenance at this question, which I was forcedto negative. The next evening she repeated it. "Vell, sleeps he yet with you--Colonel Goldsworthy?" "Not yet, ma'am, " I hesitatingly answered. "O! ver vell! he will sleep with nobody but me! O, i von't comedown. " And a little after she added, "I believe he vill marry you. " "I believe not, ma'am, " I answered. And then, very gravely, , she proposed him to me, saying he onlywanted a little encouragement, for he was always declaring hewished for a wife, and yet wanted no fortune-" so for what won'tyou not have him?" I assured her we were both perfectly well satisfied apart, andequally free from any thoughts of each other. "Then for what, " she cried, "won't you have Dr. Shepherd?" SheIs now in the utmost haste to dispose of me! And then she addedshe had been told that Dr. Shepherd would marry me! She is an amazing woman ! Alas, I might have told her I knew toowell what it was to be tied to a companion ill-assorted andunbeloved, where I could not help myself, to Page 218 make any such experiment as a volunteer! If she asks me any more about Colonel Goldsworthy and hissleeping, I think I will answer I am too near-sighted to be sureif he is awake or not! However, I cannot but take this stroke concerning the tableextremely ill; for though amongst things of the very leastconsequence in itself, it is more openly designed as an affrontthan any step that has been taken with me yet. I have given the colonel a hint, however, -that he may keep awakein future. . . . ILLNESS OF MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. Oct. 2. -Mrs. Schwellenberg, very ill indeed, took leave of thequeen at St. James's, to set off for Weymouth, in company withMrs. Hastings. I was really very sorry for her; she was truly ina situation Of suffering, from bodily pain, the most pitiable. Ithought, as I looked at her, that if the ill-humours I so oftenexperience could relieve her, I would consent to bear themunrepining, in preference to seeing or knowing her so ill. Butit is just the contrary; spleen and ill-temper only aggravatedisease, and while they involve others in temporary participationof their misery, twine it around themselves in bandages almoststationary. She was civil, too, poor woman. I suppose whenabsent she could not well tell why she had ever been otherwise. GENERAL GRENVILLE'S REGIMENT AT DRILL. Oct. 9. -I go on now pretty well; and I am so much acquainted withmy party, that when no strangers are added, I begin to mindnothing but the first entree of my male visitants. My royalmistress is all sweetness to me; Miss Planta is most kind andfriendly; General Budé is ever the same, and ever what I do notwish to alter; Colonel Goldsworthy seems coming round togood-humour; and even General Grenville begins to grow sociable. He has quitted the corner into which he used to cast his longfigure, merely to yawn and lounge ; and though yawn and lounge hedoes still, and must, I believe, to the end of the chapter, heyet does it in society, and mixes between it loud sudden laughterat what is occasionally said, and even here and there a questionrelative to what is going forward. Nay-yesterday he even seatedhimself at the tea Page 219 table, and amused himself by playing with my work-box, and makingsundry inquiries about its contents. Oct. 10. -This evening, most unwittingly, I put my new neighbour'sgood-humour somewhat to the test. He asked me whether I hadwalked out in the morning? Yes, I answered, I always walked. "And in the Little park?" cried he. Yes, I said, and to OldWindsor, and round the park wall, and along the banks of theThames, and almost to Beaumont Lodge, and in the avenue of theGreat park, and in short, in all the vicinage of Windsor. "Butin the Little park?" he cried. Still I did not understand him, but plainly answered, "Yes, thismorning, ; and indeed many mornings. " "But did you see nothing--remark nothing there? No, not that I recollect, except some soldiers drilling. " You never heard such a laugh as now broke forth from all for, alas for my poor eyes, there had been in the Little park GeneralGrenville's whole regiment, with all his officers, and himself attheir head! Fortunately it is reckoned one of the finest in theking's service : this I mentioned, adding that else I could neveragain appear before him. He affected to be vehemently affronted, but hardly knew how, evenin joke, to appear so ; and all the rest helped the matter on, bysaying that they should know now how to distinguish his regiment, which henceforth must always be called " the drill. " The truth is, as soon as I perceived a few red-coats I had turnedanother way, to avoid being marched at, and therefore theirnumber and splendour had all been thrown away upon me. (278) "Cerbera" was Fanny's not inappropriate name for Mrs. Schwellenberg. -ED. (279) By William Falconer, born at Edinburgh in 1730. His poem, "The Shipwreck, " was suggested by his own experience at sea, andwas first published in 1762. Falconer sailed for Bengal in 1769, the vessel touched at the Cape in December, and was never heardof more. -ED. (280) In the "European Magazine" for May 1788, appeared anarticle from the pen of Baretti, headed "On Signora Piozzi'spublication of Dr. Johnson's Letters, Stricture the First. " Itis filled with coarse, personal abuse of the lady, whom theauthor terms "the frontless female, who goes now by the meanappellation of Piozzi. " "Stricture the Second, " in the sametone, appeared the following month, and the "Third, " which closedthe series, in August of the same year. In the last numberBaretti comments, with excessive bitterness, on Mrs. Piozzi'ssecond marriage. -ED. (281) "Original Love-letters between a Lady of Quality and aPerson of Inferior Station. " Dublin, 1784. Though by no meansdevoid of "nonsense and romance, " the little book is notaltogether undeserving of Colonel Digby's encomium. The story isvery slight, and concludes, quite unnecessarily and ratherunexpectedly, with the death of the gentleman, just as his goodfortune seems assured. -ED. (282) Robert Raikes, who was born at Gloucester in 1735, was aprinter and the son of a printer. His father was proprietor ofthe "Gloucester journal. " In conjunction with the Rev. Mr. Stocks, Raikes founded the institution of Sunday Schools in 1781. He died at Gloucester in 1811. -ED. (283) "Cui Bono? or, an Inquiry what Benefits can arise either tothe English or the Americans, the French, Spaniards, or Dutch, from the greatest victories, or successes, in the present War, being a Series of Letters, addressed to Monsieur Necker, lateController- General of the Finances of France, " By Josiah Tucker, D. D. , published at Gloucester, 1781. The pamphlet was written inthe advocacy of a general peace, and attracted much attention. The third edition appeared in 1782. -ED, (284) Fanny alludes to an old adventure of Baretti's. He wasaccosted in the Haymarket by a prostitute, October 6, 1769. Thewoman was importunate, and the irritable Italian struck her onthe hand; upon which three men came up and attacked him. He thendrew a dagger in self defence, and mortally wounded one of hisassailants. Baretti was tried at the Old Bailey for murder, October 20, and acquitted; Johnson, Burke, and Garrick appearingas witnesses to his character. -ED. (285) With all Fanny's partiality for the "sweet queen, " theevidences of that sweet creature's selfishness keep turning up ina very disagreeable manner-ED. (286)) "The Country Girl, " Which is still occasionally performed, is an adaptation by Garrick of one of the most brilliant, andmost indecent, of Restoration comedies--Wycherley's "CountryWife. " Mrs. Jordan played the part of "Peggy, " the "MargeryPunchwife" of Wycherley's play. It was in this part that shemade her first appearance in London, at Drury Lane, October 18, 1785. She was one of the most admired actresses of her time. Genest, who saw her, writes of her, "As an actress she never hada superior in her proper line Mrs. Jordan's Country Girl, Romp, Miss Hoyden, and all characters of that description wereexquisite--in breeches parts no actress can be put in competitionwith her but Mrs. Woffington, and to Mrs. Woffington she was assuperior in point of voice as Mrs. Woffington was superior to herin beauty" (viii. P. 430). Mrs. Jordan died at St. Cloud, July5, 1816, aged fifty. There is an admirable portrait of her byRomney in the character of the "Country Girl. "-ED. (287) See ante, vol. I. , p. 151. -ED. (288) Fanny's cousin, the son of Dr. Burney's brother, RichardBurney of Worcester. -ED. (289) The poem in question is the "Ode to the Evening Star, " thefifteenth of the first hook of Odes. Mr. Akenside, having paidhis tear on fair Olympia's virgin tomb, roams in quest ofPhilomela's bower, and desires the evening star to send itsgolden ray to guide him. It is pretty, however. The firststanza runs as follows:-- "To night retired, the queen of heaven With young Endymion strays; And now to Hesper it is given Awhile to rule the vacant sky, Till she shall to her lamp supply A stream of lighter rays. "-ED. (290) Joseph jérome le Français de Lalande, one of the mostdistinguished of French astronomers. He was born in 1732, anddied in 1807. -ED. (291) Silly: insipid. (292) 'Tis too much honour. " (293) "'Tis very troublesome, but one must say pretty things toladies. " Page 220 SECTION 14 (1788-9. ) THE KING'S ILLNESS. [Fanny's vivid account of the king's illness, from the autumn of1788 to the spring of 1789, needs no recommendation to thereader. It requires only to be supplemented by a very briefsketch of the consequent proceedings in Parliament, which excitedso much foolish indignation in the royal household, and in Fannyherself. That she should display more feeling than judgmentunder circumstances so affecting, was, perhaps, only to beexpected, but it is none the less evident, from certain passagesin the " Diary, that the tainted Court atmosphere had alreadyclouded, to some extent, her naturally clear understanding. Theinsanity of a sovereign is, to her, a purely private and personalmatter, with respect to which the only business of the public isto offer up prayers for his majesty's speedy recovery. Thatministers should take steps to provide for the performance of theroyal functions in government, during the period of the king'sincapacity, is an act of effrontery at which she wants words toexpress her indignation. Mrs. Schwellenberg, who thought ittreason to say that the King was ever at all indisposed, wasscarcely more unreasonable in this particular than Miss FannyBurney, who shuddered, with sentimental horror, at the mention ofa Regency Bill. About the commencement of November, 1788, there was no longer anydoubt as to the serious nature of the king's malady. At themeeting of Parliament the prime minister, Mr. Pitt, Moved that acommittee be appointed to examine the physicians attendant uponhis majesty. This motion was agreed to, and on the 10th ofDecember the report of the committee was laid upon the table ofthe House. The physicians agreed that his Majesty was thentotally incapable of attending to public business. They agreedalso in holding Out strong hopes of his ultimate recovery, butnone of them would venture to give any opinion as to the probableduration of his derangement. Upon this, Mr. Pitt Page 221 moved for a committee to examine and report upon such precedentsas might be found of proceedings in cases of the interruption, from any cause, of the personal exercise of the royal authority. The motion was strenuously resisted by the opposition, headed byMr. Fox, who argued that whenever the sovereign was incapacitatedfrom performing the functions of his office, the heir-apparent, if of full age and capacity, had an inalienable right to act ashis substitute. This doctrine seems certainly inconsistent withthe liberal principles professed by the opposition, but it willbe remembered that at this time the Prince of Wales waspolitically in alliance with that party, and that he was on termsof friendship with Mr. Fox himself. On the other hand, Pittprotested that in such circumstances the heir-apparent had nomore claim to exercise, as a matter of right, the royalfunctions, than any other Subject of the crown ; and that itbelonged only to the two Houses of Parliament to make suchprovision for supplying the deficiency in the government as theyshould think proper. As to the person of the Regent there was nodispute ; the question was, simply, whether the Prince of Walesshould assume the Regency in his own right, or by the authorityof Parliament. Pitt's motion being carried, the committee was accordinglyappointed, and proceeded at once to make their examination andreport. The prime minister then (December 16) moved tworesolutions, declaring, firstly, that the king was incapable ofperforming the functions of his office, and, secondly, that itwas the duty of Parliament to provide for the exercise of thosefunctions. In spite of Fox's opposition both resolutions werecarried, and a third resolution was moved by Pitt, and passed(December 23), empowering the lord chancellor to affix the greatseal to the intended Regency Bill. Early in January, 1789, a fresh examination of the physicians Wasvoted, but gave no more definite hopes of an early recovery. Pittnow wrote to the Prince of Wales, informing him of the planintended to be pursued : that the prince should be invested withthe authority of Regent, under certain restrictions, regardingespecially the granting of peerages, offices, or pensions ; andthat the care of the king's person and the control of the royalhousehold should remain with the queen. The prince, in reply, expressed his readiness to accept the Regency, while protestingstrongly against the proposed limitations of his authority ; andon the 16th of January, a bill, in which the prime ministersscheme was embodied, was introduced into the House. The questionwas actively debated in both Houses, until, in the latter part ofFebruary, the king's recovery put a stop to furtherproceedings. -ED. ] Page 222 UNCERTAIN STATE OF THE KING's HEALTH. Kew, Friday, Oct. 17. -Our return to Windsor is postponed till to-morrow. The king is not well; he has not been quite well sometime, yet nothing I hope alarming, though there is an uncertaintyas to his complaint not very satisfactory; so precious, too, ishis health. Oct. 18. -The king was this morning better. My royal mistresstold me Sir George Baker(294) was to settle whether we returnedto Windsor to-day or to-morrow. Sunday, Oct. 19. -The Windsor journey is again postponed, and theking is but very indifferent. Heaven preserve him! there issomething unspeakably alarming in his smallest indisposition. Iam very much with the queen, who, I see, is very uneasy, but shetalks not of it. We are to stay here some time longer, and so unprepared were wefor more than a day or two, that our distresses are prodigious, even for clothes to wear; and as to books, there are not threeamongst us; and for company only Mr. De Luc and Miss Planta; andso, in mere desperation for employment, I have just begun atragedy. (295) We are now in so spiritless a situation that mymind would bend to nothing less sad, even in fiction. But I amvery glad something of this kind has occurred to me; it may whileaway the tediousness of this unsettled, unoccupied, unpleasantperiod. Oct. 20. -The king was taken very ill in the night, and we haveall been cruelly frightened - but it went off, and, thank heaven!he is now better. I had all my morning devoted to receiving inquiring visits. LadyEffingham, Sir George Howard, Lady Frances Howard, all came fromStoke to obtain news of the king; his least illness spreads in amoment. Lady Frances Douglas came also. She is wife of theArchibald Douglas who caused the famous Hamilton trial in theHouse of Peers, for his claim to the Douglas name. (296) She isfat, and dunch, and heavy, and ugly; otherwise, they say, agreeable enough. Page 223 Mr. Turbulent has been sent for, and he enlivens the scenesomewhat. He is now all he should be, and so altered ! scarce aflight left. Oct. 21. -The good and excellent king is again better, and weexpect to remove to Windsor in a day or two. Oct. 23. -The king continues to mend, thank God! Saturday we hopeto return to Windsor. Had not this composition fit seized me, societyless, and bookless, and viewless as I am, I know not how Icould have whiled away my being; but my tragedy goes on, andfills up all vacancies. Oct. 25. -Yesterday was so much the same, I have not marked it;not so to-day. The king was so much better that our Windsorjourney at length took place, with permission of Sir GeorgeBaker, the only physician his majesty will admit. Miss Cambridgewas with me to the last moment. I have been hanging up a darling remembrance of my revered, incomparable Mrs. Delany. Her "Sacharissa" is now over mychimney. I could not at first bear it, but now I look at it, andcall her back to my eye's mind perpetually. This, like thetragedy I have set about, suits the turn of things in thishabitation. I had a sort of conference with his Majesty, or rather I was theobject to whom he spoke, with a manner so uncommon, that a highfever alone could account for it, a rapidity, a hoarseness ofvoice, a volubility, an earnestness--a vehemence, rather--itstartled me inexpressibly; yet with a graciousness exceeding evenall I ever met with before--it was almost kindness! Heaven--Heaven preserve him! The queen grows more Page 224 and more uneasy. She alarms me sometimes for herself, at othertimes she has a sedateness that wonders me still more. Sunday, Oct. 26-The king was prevailed upon not to go to chapelthis morning. I met him in the passage from the queen's room; hestopped me, and conversed upon his health near half-an-hour, still with that extreme quickness of Speech and manner thatbelongs to fever; and he hardly sleeps, he tells me, one minuteall night; indeed, if he recovers not his rest, a most deliriousfever seems to threaten him. He is all agitation, all emotion, yet all benevolence and goodness, even to a degree that makes ittouching to hear him speak. He assures everybody of his health;he seems only fearful to give uneasiness to others, yet certainlyhe is better than last night. Nobody speaks of his illness, norwhat they think of it. Oct. 29. -The dear and good king again gains ground, and the queenbecomes easier. To-day Miss Planta told me she heard Mr. Fairly was confined atSir R- F--'s, and therefore she would now lay any wager he was tomarry Miss F--. (297) In the evening I inquired what news of him of General Bude: hetold me he was still confined at a friend's house, but avoidednaming where--probably from suggesting that, however little truththere may yet have been in the report, more may belong to it fromthis particular intercourse. THE KING COMPLAINS OF WANT OF SLEEP. Nov. 1. -Our king does not advance in amendment; he grows so weakthat he walks like a gouty man, yet has such spirits that he hastalked away his voice, and is so hoarse it is painful to hearhim. The queen is evidently in great uneasiness. God send himbetter! She read to me to-day a lecture of Hunter's. During the reading, twice, at pathetic passages, my poor queen shed tears. "Hownervous I am?" she cried; "I am quite a fool! Don't you thinkso?" No, ma'am, " was all I dared answer. She revived, however, finished the lecture, and went upstairs andplayed upon the Princess Augusta's harpsichord. The king was hunting. Her anxiety for his return was Page 225 greater than ever. The moment he arrived he sent a page todesire to have coffee and take his bark in the queen's dressing-room. She said she would pour it out herself, and sent toinquire how he drank it. The king is very sensible of the great change there is inhimself, and of her disturbance at it. It seems, but heavenavert it! a threat of a total breaking up of the constitution. This, too, seems his own idea. I was present at his first seeingLady Effingham on his return to Windsor this last time. "My dearEffy, " he cried, "you see me, all at once, an old man. " I was so much affected by this exclamation, that I wished to runout of the room. Yet I could not but recover when LadyEffingham, in her well-meaning but literal way, composedlyanswered, "We must all grow old, sir, - -I am sure I do. " He then produced a walking-stick which he had just ordered. "Hecould not, " he said, "get on without it; his strength seemeddiminishing hourly. " He took the bark, he said But the queen, " he cried, "is myphysician, and no man need have a better; she is my friend, andno Man can have a better. " How the queen commanded herself I cannot conceive; but there wassomething so touching in this speech, from his hoarse voice andaltered countenance, that it overset me very much. Nor can I ever forget him in what passed this night. When I cameto the queen's dressing-room he was still with her. Heconstantly conducts her to it before he retires to his own. Hewas begging her not to speak to him when he got to his room, thathe might fall asleep, as he felt great want of that refreshment. He repeated this desire, I believe, at least a hundred times, though, far enough from need Ing it, the poor queen never utteredone syllable! He then applied to me, saying he was really verywell, except in that one particular, that he could not sleep. The kindness and benevolence of his manner all this time was mostpenetrating: he seemed to have no anxiety but to set the queen atrest, and no wish but to quiet and give pleasure to all aroundhim, To me, he never yet spoke with such excess of benignity: heappeared even solicitous to satisfy me that he should do well, and to spare all alarm; but there was a hurry in his manner andvoice that indicated sleep to be page 226 indeed wanted. Nor could I, all night, forbear foreseeing "Hesleeps now, or to-morrow he will be surely delirious!" Sunday, Nov. 2. -The king was better, and prevailed upon to giveup going to the early prayers. The queen and princesses went. After they were gone, and I was following towards my room, theking called after me, and he kept me in discourse a full halfhour nearly all the time they were away. It was all to the same purport; that he was well, but wanted morerest ; yet he said he had slept the last night like a child. Buthis manner, still, was so touchingly kind, so softlygracious, that it doubled my concern to see him so far from well. DISTRESS OF THE QUEEN. Nov. 3. --We are all here in a most uneasy state. The king isbetter and worse so frequently, and changes so, daily, backwardsand forwards, that everything is to be apprehended, if his nervesare not some way quieted. I dreadfully fear he is on the eve ofsome severe fever. The queen is almost overpowered with somesecret terror. I am affected beyond all expression in herpresence, to see what struggles she makes to support serenity. To-day she gave up the conflict when I was alone with her, andburst into a violent fit of tears. It was very, very terrible tosee! How did I wish her a Susan or a Fredy! To unburthen herloaded mind would be to relieve it from all but inevitableaffliction. O, may heaven in its mercy never, never drive me tothat solitary anguish more!- I have tried what it would do; Ispeak from bitter recollection of past melancholy experience. Sometimes she walks up and down the room without uttering a word, but shaking her head frequently, and in evident distress andirresolution. She is often closeted with Miss Goldsworthy, ofwhom, I believe, she makes inquiry how her brother has found theking, from time to time. The princes both came to Kew, in several visits to the king. TheDuke of York has also been here, and his fond father could hardlybear the pleasure of thinking him anxious for his health. "Sogood, " he says "is Frederick!" To-night, indeed, at tea-time, I felt a great shock, in hearing, from General Budé, that Dr, Heberden had been called in. It istrue more assistance seemed much wanting, yet the king's rootedaversion to physicians makes any new-comer tremen- Page 227 dous. They said, too, it was merely for counsel, not that hismajesty was worse. Nov. 4. -Passed much the same as the days preceding it, the queenin deep distress, the king in a state almost incomprehensible, and all the house uneasy and alarmed. The Drawing-room was againput off, and a steady residence seemed fixed at Windsor. Nov. 5. -I found my poor royal mistress, in the morning, sad andsadder still; something horrible seemed impending, and I saw herwhole resource was in religion. We had talked lately much uponsolemn Subjects, and she appeared already preparing herself to beresigned for whatever might happen. I was still wholly unsuspicious of the greatness of the cause shehad for dread. Illness, a breaking up of the constitution, thepayment of sudden infirmity and premature old age for the wasteof unguarded health and strength, --these seemed to me the threatsawaiting her; and great and grievous enough, yet how short of thefact! I had given up my walks some days; I was too uneasy to quit thehouse while the queen remained at home, and she now never leftit. Even Lady Effingham, the last two days, could not obtainadmission; She Could only hear from a page how the royal familywent on. At noon the king went out in his chaise, with the princess royal, for an airing. I looked from my window to see him; he was allsmiling benignity, but gave so many orders to the postilions, andgot in and out of the carriage twice, with such agitation, thatagain my fear of a great fever hanging over him grew more andmore powerful. Alas! how little did I imagine I should see himno more for so long--so black a period! When I went to my poor queen, still worse and worse I found herspirits. She had been greatly offended by some anecdote in anewspaper--the "Morning Herald"--relative to the king'sindisposition. She declared the printer should be called toaccount. She bid me burn the paper, and ruminated upon who couldbe employed to represent to the editor that he must answer at hisperil any further such treasonable paragraphs. I named to herMr. Fairly, her own servant, and one so peculiarly fitted for anyoffice requiring honour and discretion. "Is he here, then?" shecried. "No, " I answered, but he was expected in a few days. I saw her concurrence with this proposal. The princess royalsoon returned. She came in cheerfully, and gave, in Page 228 German, a history of the airing, and one that seemed Comforting. Soon after, suddenly arrived the Prince of Wales. He came intothe room. - He had just quitted Brighthelmstone. Somethingpassing within seemed to render this meeting awfully distant onboth sides. She asked if he should not return toBrighthelmstone? He answered yes, the next day, Hedesired to speak with her they retired together. FIRST OUTBURST OF THE KING's DELIRIUM. I had but just reached my own room, deeply musing on the stateof' things, when a chaise stopped at the rails; and I saw Mr. Fairly and his son Charles alight, and enter the house. Hewalked lamely, and seemed not yet recovered from his late attack. Though most happy to see him at this alarming time, when I knew he could be most useful, as there is no one to whom the queen opens so confidentially upon her affairs, I had yet a freshstair to see, by his anticipated arrival, though still lame, thathe must have been sent for, and hurried hither. Only Miss Planta dined with me. We were both nearly silent: Iwas shocked at I scarcely knew what, and she seemed to know toomuch for speech. She stayed with me till six o'clock, butnothing passed, beyond general solicitude that the king might getbetter. Meanwhile, a stillness the most uncommon reigned over the wholehouse. Nobody stirred ; not a voice was heard - not a step, nota motion. I could do nothing but watch, without knowing for what: there seemed a strangeness in the house most extraordinary. At seven o'clock Columb came to tell me that the music wasall forbid, and the musicians ordered away ! This was the last step to be expected, so fond as his majesty is -ofhis concert, and I thought it might have rather soothed him: Icould not understand the prohibition; all seemed stranger andstranger. Very late came General Budé. He looked extremely uncomfortable. Later still came Colonel Goldsworthy: his countenance all gloom, and his voice scarce articulating no or yes. General Grenvillewas gone to town. General Bud asked me if I had seen Mr. Fairly; and last Of all, at length, he also entered. How gravehe looked, how shut up in himself! A silent bow was his onlysalutation Page 229 how changed I thought it, --and how fearful a meeting, SO long expected as a solace! Colonel Goldsworthy was called away: I heard his voice whisperingsome time in the passage, but he did not return. Various smallspeeches now dropped, by which I found the house was all indisturbance, and the king in some strange way worse, and thequeen taken ill! At length, General Budé said he would go and see if any one wasin the music-room. Mr. Fairly said he thought he had better notaccompany him, for as he had not yet been seen, his appearancemight excite fresh emotion. The general agreed, and went. We were now alone. But I could not speak: neither did Mr. Fairly. I worked---I had begun a hassock for my Fredy. A longand serious pause made me almost turn sick with anxious wonderand fear, and an inward trembling totally disabled me from askingthe actual situation of things; if I had not had my work, toemploy my eyes and hands, I must have left the room to quietmyself. I fancy he penetrated into all this, though, at first, he hadconcluded me informed of everything; but he now, finding mesilent, began an inquiry whether I was yet acquainted how bad all was become, and how ill the king? I really had no utterancefor very alarm, but my look was probably sufficient; he kindlysaved me any questions, and related to me the whole of themysterious horror! O my dear friends, what a history! The king, at dinner, hadbroken forth into positive delirium, which long had been menacingall who saw him most closely; and the queen was so overpowered asto fall into violent hysterics. All the princesses were inmisery, and the Prince of Wales had burst into tears. No oneknew what was to follow-- no one could conjecture the event. He spoke of the poor queen, in terms of the most tendercompassion; he pitied her, he said, from the bottom of his soul;and all her sweet daughters, the lovely princesses--there was noknowing to what we might look forward for them all! I was an almost silent listener ; but, having expressed himselfvery warmly for all the principal sufferers, he kindly, and withinterest, examined me. "How, " he cried, "are You? Are youstrong? are you stout? can you go through such scenes as these?you do not look much fitted for them. " Page 230 "I shall do very well, " I cried, "for, at a time such as this, Ishall surely forget myself utterly. The queen will be all to me. I shall hardly, I think, feel myself at liberty to be unhappy!" . . . AN ANXIOUS NIGHT. Mr. Fairly stayed with me all the evening, during which we heardno voice, no sound! all was deadly still! At ten o'clock I said, " I must go to my own room, to be inwaiting. " He determined upon remaining downstairs, in theequerries' apartment, there to wait some intelligence. We partedin mutual expectation of dreadful tidings. In separating, hetook my hand, and earnestly recommended me to keep myself stoutand firm. If this beginning of the night was affecting, what did it notgrow afterwards Two long hours I waited-alone, in silence, inignorance, in dread! I thought they would never be over; attwelve o'clock I seemed to have spent two whole days in waiting. I then opened my door, to listen, in the passage, if anythingseemed stirring. Not a sound could I hear. My apartment seemed wholly separatedfrom life and motion. Whoever was in the house kept at the otherend, and not even a servant crossed the stairs or passage by myrooms. I would fain have crept on myself, anywhere in the world, forsome inquiry, or to see but a face, and hear a voice, but I didnot dare risk losing a sudden summons. I re-entered my room andthere passed another endless hour, in conjectures too horrible torelate. A little after one, I heard a step--my door opened--and a pagesaid I must come to the queen. I could hardly get along--hardlyforce myself into the room. Dizzy I felt, almost to falling. But, the first shock passed, I became more collected. Useful, indeed, proved the previous lesson of the evening : it hadstilled, If not fortified my mind, which had else, in a sceneSuch is this, been all tumult and emotion. My poor royal mistress! never can I forget her countenance--pale, ghastly pale she looked; she was seated to be undressed, andattended by Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy ; herwhole frame was disordered, yet she was still and quiet. Thesetwo ladies assisted me to undress her, or rather I assisted them, for they were firmer, from being Page 231 longer present; my shaking hands and blinded eyes could scarce beof any use. I gave her some camphor julep, which had beenordered her by Sir George Baker. "How cold I am!" she cried, andput her hand on mine; marble it felt! and went to my heart'score! The king, at the instance of Sir George Baker, had consented tosleep in the next apartment, as the queen was ill. For himself, he would listen to nothing. Accordingly, a bed was put up forhim, by his own order, in the queen's second dressing-room, immediately adjoining to the bed-room. He would not be furtherremoved. Miss Goldsworthy was to sit up with her, by the king'sdirection. I would fain have remained in the little dressing-room, on theother side the bed-room, but she would not permit it. Sheordered Sandys, her wardrobe-woman, in the place of Mrs. Thielky, to sit up there. Lady Elizabeth also pressed to stay;but we were desired to go to our own rooms. How reluctantly did I come away ! how hardly to myself leave her!Yet I went to bed, determined to preserve my strength to theutmost of my ability, for the service of my unhappy mistress. Icould not, however, sleep. I do not suppose an eye was closed inthe house all night. Nov. 6. -I rose at six, dressed in haste by candle-light, andunable to wait for my summons in a suspense so awful, I stolealong the passage in the dark, a thick fog intercepting all faintlight, to see if I could meet with Sandys, or any one, to tell mehow the night had passed. When I came to the little dressing-room, I stopped, irresolutewhat to do. I heard men's voices; I was seized with the mostcruel alarm at such a sound in her majesty's dressing-room. Iwaited some time, and then the door opened, and I saw ColonelGoldsworthy and Mr. Batterscomb. (298) I was relieved from myfirst apprehension, yet shocked enough to see them there at thisearly hour. They had both sat up there all night, as well asSandys. Every page, both of the king and queen, had also sat up, dispersed in the passages and ante-rooms! and O what horror inevery face I met! I waited here, amongst them, till Sandys wasordered by the queen to carry her a pair of gloves. I could notresist Page 232 the opportunity to venture myself before her. I glided into theroom, but stopped at the door: she was in bed, sitting up; MissGoldsworthy was on a stool by her side! I feared approachingwithout permission, yet could not prevail with myself to retreat. She was looking down, and did not see me. Miss Goldsworthy, turning round, said, "'Tis Miss Burney, ma'am. " She leaned her head forward, and in a most soft manner, said, "Miss Burney, how are you?" Deeply affected, I hastened up to her, but, in trying to speak, burst into an irresistible torrent of tears. My dearest friends, I do it at this moment again, and can hardlywrite for them; yet I wish you to know all this piercing historyright. She looked like death--colourless and wan; but nature isinfectious; the tears gushed from her own eyes, and a perfectagony of weeping ensued, which, once begun, she could not stop;she did not, indeed, try; for when it subsided, and she wiped hereyes, she said, "I thank you, Miss Burney--you have made me cry--it is a great relief to me--I had not been able to cry before, all this night long. " O, what a scene followed! what a scene wasrelated! The king, in the middle of the night, had insisted uponseeing if his queen was not removed from the house and he hadcome into her room, with a candle in his hand, opened the bed-curtains, and satisfied himself she was there, and MissGoldsworthy by her side. This observance of his directions hadmuch soothed him; but he stayed a full half hour, and the depthof terror during that time no words can paint. The fear of suchanother entrance was now so strongly upon the nerves of the poorqueen, that she could hardly support herself. THE KING'S DELIRIOUS CONDITION. The king-the royal sufferer-was still in the next room, attendedby Sir George Baker and Dr. Heberden, and his pages, with ColonelGoldsworthy occasionally, and as he called for him. He kepttalking unceasingly; his voice was so lost in hoarseness andweakness, it was rendered almost inarticulate; but its tone wasstill all benevolence--all kindness--all touching graciousness. It was thought advisable the queen should not rise, lest the kingshould be offended that she did not go to him; at present Page 233 he was content, because he conceived her to be nursing for herillness. But what a situation for her! She would not let me leave hernow; she made me remain In the room, and ordered me to sit down. I was too trembling to refuse. Lady Elizabeth soon joined us. We all three stayed with her; she frequently bid me listen, tohear what the king was saying or doing. I did, and carried thebest accounts I could manage, without deviating from truth, except by some omissions. Nothing could be so afflicting as thistask; even now, it brings fresh to my ear his poor exhaustedvoice. "I am nervous, " he cried; "I am not ill, but I amnervous: if you would know what is the matter with me, I amnervous. But I love you both very well; if you would tell metruth: I love Dr. Heberden best, for he has not told me a lie:Sir George has told me a lie--a white lie, he says, but I hate awhite lie. If you will tell me a lie, let it be a black lie!" This was what he kept saying almost constantly, mixed in withother matter, but always returning, and in a voice that trulywill never cease vibrating in my recollection. The queen permitted me to make her breakfast and attend her, andwas so affectingly kind and gentle in her distress, that I felt atenderness of sorrow for her that almost devoted my whole mind toher alone! Miss Goldsworthy was a fixture at her side; I, therefore, provided her breakfast also. Lady Elizabeth was sent out on inquiries of Colonel Goldsworthy, and Mr. Batterscomb, and the pages, every ten minutes; while I, at the same intervals, was ordered to listen to what passed inthe room, and give warning if anything seemed to threaten anotherentrance. . . . The queen bid me bring the prayer book and read the morningservice to her. I could hardly do it, the poor voice from thenext room was so perpetually in my ears. When I came to my room, about twelve o'clock, for some breakfast, I found a letter from Lady Carmarthen. It was an answer to mycongratulation upon her marriage, and written with honesthappiness and delight. She frankly calls herself the luckiest ofall God's creatures ; and this, if not elegant, is sincere, and Ihope will be permanently her opinion. While swallowing my breakfast, standing and in haste, and thedoor ajar, I heard Mr. Fairly's voice, saying, "Is Miss Burneythere? is she alone?" and then he sent in Columb, to inquire ifhe might come and ask me how I did. Page 234 I received him with as much gladness as I could then feel, but itwas a melancholy reception. I consulted with him upon manypoints in which I wanted counsel : he is quick and deep at oncein expedients where anything, is to be done, and simple and clearin explaining himself where he thinks it is best to do nothing. Miss Goldsworthy herself had once stolen out to Consult with him. He became, indeed, for all who belonged to the queen, from thismoment the oracle. THE KING REFUSES TO SEE DR. WARREN. Dr. Warren(299) had been sent for express, in the middle of thenight, at the desire of Sir George Baker, because he had beentaken ill himself, and felt unequal to the whole toll. I returned speedily to the room of woe. The arrival of thephysicians was there grievously awaited, for Dr. Heberden andSir George would now decide upon nothing till Dr. Warren came. The poor queen wanted something very positive to pass, relativeto her keeping away, which seemed thought essential at this time, though the courage to assert it was wanting In everybody. The princesses sent to ask leave to come to their mother. Sheburst into tears, and declared she could neither see them, norpray, while in this dreadful situation, expecting every moment tobe broken in upon, and quite uncertain in what manner, yetdetermined not to desert her apartment, except by expressdirection from the physicians. Who could tell to what height thedelirium might rise? There was no constraint, no power: allfeared the worst, yet none dared take any measures for security. The princes also sent word they were at her majesty's command, but she shrunk still more from this Interview: it filled her witha thousand dreadful sensations, too obvious to be wholly hid. At length news was brought that Dr. Warren was arrived. I neverfelt so rejoiced: I could have run out to welcome him withrapture. With what cruel impatience did we then wait to hear hissentence! An impatience how fruitless! It ended in informationthat he had not seen the king, who refused him admittance. Page 235 This was terrible. But the king was never so despotic; no onedared oppose him. He would not listen to a word, though, whenunopposed, he was still all gentleness and benignity to every onearound him. Dr. Warren was then planted where he could hear hisvoice, and all that passed, and receive Intelligence concerninghis pulse, etc. , from Sir George Baker. THE QUEEN'S ANXIETY TO HEAR DR. WARREN'S OPINION. We now expected every moment Dr. Warren would bring her majestyhis opinion ; but he neither came nor sent. She waited in dreadincessant. She sent for Sir George--he would not speak alone:she sent for Mr. Hawkins, the household surgeon; but all referredto Dr. Warren. Lady Elizabeth and Miss Goldsworthy earnestly pressed her toremove to a more distant apartment, where he might not hear theunceasing voice of the unhappy king ; but she would only rise andgo to the 'little dressing-room, there to wait in hernight-clothes Dr. Warren's determination what step she shouldtake. At length Lady Elizabeth learnt among the pages that Dr. Warrenhad quitted his post of watching. The poor queen now, in atorrent of tears, prepared herself for seeing him. He came not. All astonished and impatient, Lady Elizabeth was sent out oninquiries. She returned, and said Dr. Warren was gone. "Run! stop him!" was the queen's next order. "Let him but let meknow what I am to do. " Poor, poor queen! how I wept to hear those words! Abashed and distressed, poor Lady Elizabeth returned. She hadseen Colonel Goldsworthy, and heard Dr. Warren, -with the othertwo physicians, had left the house too far to be recalled theywere gone over to the Castle, to the Prince of Wales. I think a deeper blow I have never witnessed. Already to becomebut second, even for the king! The tears were now wiped;indignation arose, with pain, the severest pain, of everyspecies. THE QUEEN REMOVES TO MORE DISTANT APARTMENTS. In about a quarter of an hour Colonel Goldsworthy sent in to began audience. It was granted, a long cloak only being thrown overthe queen. He now brought the opinion of all the physicians inconsultation, " That her majesty would re- Page 236 move to a more distant apartment, since the king wouldundoubtedly be worse from the agitation of seeing her, and thereCould be no possibility to prevent it while she remained sonear. " She instantly agreed, but with what bitter anguish! LadyElizabeth, Miss Goldsworthy, and myself attended her; she went toan apartment in the same row, but to which there Was no entranceexcept by its own door. It consisted of only two rooms, abed-chamber and a dressing-room. They are appropriated to thelady-in-waiting, when she is here. At the entrance into this new habitation the poor wretched queenonce more gave way to a perfect agony of grief and affliction;while the words "What will become of me! What will become of me! " uttered with the most piercing lamentation, struck deep andhard into all our hearts. Never can I forget their despondingsound ; they implied such complicated apprehensions. Instantly now the princesses were sent for. The three elderhastened down. O, what a meeting! They all, from a habit thathas become a second nature, struggling to repress all outwardgrief, though the queen herself, wholly overcome, wept evenaloud. They all went into the bedroom, and the queen made aslight dressing, but only wore a close gauze cap, and her longdressing gown, which is a dimity chemise. I was then sent back to the little dressing-room, for somethingthat was left; as I opened the door, I almost ran against agentleman close to it in the passage. "Is the queen here?" he cried, and I then saw the Prince ofWales. "Yes, " I answered, shuddering at this new scene for her "should Itell her majesty your royal highness is here?" This I said lest he should surprise her. But he did not intendthat: he was profoundly respectful, and consented to wait at thedoor while I went in, but called me back, as I turned away, toadd, "You will be so good to say I am come by her orders. " She wept a deluge of tears when I delivered my commission, butinstantly admitted him. I then retreated. The other two ladieswent to Lady Elizabeth's room, which is next the queen's newapartments. In the passage I was again stopped; it was by Mr. Fairly. Iwould have hurried on, scarce able to speak, but he desired toknow how the queen did. "Very bad, " was all I could say, Page 237 and on I hastened to my own room, which, the next minute, I wouldas eagerly have hastened to quit, from its distance from all thatwas going forward ; but now once the prince had entered thequeen's rooms, I could go thither no more unsummoned. Miserable, lonely, and filled with dreadful conjectures, Iremained here till a very late dinner brought Miss Planta to thedining-parlour, where I joined her. After a short and dismalmeal we immediately parted : she to wait in the apartments of theprincesses above-stairs, in case of being wanted; I to my ownsolitary parlour. The Prince of Wales and Duke of York stayed here all the day, andwere so often in and out of the queen's rooms that no one couldenter them but by order. The same etiquette is observed when theprinces are with the queen as when the king is there-nointerruption whatever is made. I now, therefore, lost my onlyconsolation at this calamitous time, that of attending my poorroyal mistress. A VISIT FROM MR. FAIRLY. Alone wholly, without seeing a human being, or gathering any, thesmallest intelligence of what was going forwards, I remained tilltea-time. Impatient then for information, I planted myself inthe eating-parlour; but no one came. Every minute seemed anhour. I grew as anxious for the tea society as heretofore I hadbeen anxious to escape it; but so late it grew, and so hopeless, that Columb came to propose bringing in the water. No; for I could swallow nothing voluntarily. In a few minutes he came again, and with the compliments of Mr. Fairly, who desired him to tell me he would wait Upon me to teawhenever I pleased. A little surprised at this single message, but most trulyrejoiced, I returned my compliments, with an assurance that alltime was the same to me. He came directly, and indeed his verysight, at this season of still horror and silent suspense, was arepose to my poor aching eyes. "You will see, " he said, "nobody else. The physicians being nowhere, Colonel Goldsworthy thought it right to order tea for thewhole party in the music-room, which we have now agreed to makethe general waiting-room for us all. It is near the king, and weought always to be at hand. " Page 238 Our tea was very sad. He gave me no hope Of a short seizure ; hesaw it, in perspective, as long as it was dreadful : perhaps evenworse than long, he thought it--but that he said not. He relatedto me the whole of the day's transactions, but my most dear andmost honourable friends will be the first to forgive me when Ipromise that I shall commit nothing to paper on this terribleevent that is told me in confidence. He did not stay long--he did not think it right to leave hiswaiting friends for any time, nor could I wish it, valued as Iknow he is by them all, and much as they need his able counsel. He left me plunged in a deep gloom, yet he was not gloomyhimself; he sees evils as things of course, and bears them, therefore, as things expected. But he was tenderly touched forthe poor queen and the princesses. THE KING'S NIGHT WATCHERS. Not till one in the morning did I see another face, and then Iattended my poor unhappy queen. She was now fixed in her newapartments, bed-room and dressing-room, and stirred not a stepbut from one to the other. Fortunately all are upon theground-floor, both for king and queen; so are the two LadyWaldegraves' and mine; the princesses and Miss Planta, as usual, are upstairs, and the gentlemen lodge above them. Miss Goldsworthy had now a bed put up in the queen's newbed-room. She had by no means health to go on sitting up, and ithad been the poor king's own direction that she should remainwith the queen. It was settled that Mrs. Sandys and Mrs. Macenton should alternately sit up in the dressing-room. The queen would not permit me to take that office, though mostgladly I would have taken any that would have kept me about her. But she does; not think my strength sufficient. She allowed mehowever to stay with her till she was in bed, which I had neverdone till now; I never, indeed, had even seen her in her bed-roomtill the day before. She has always had the kindness anddelicacy, to dismiss me from her dressing-room as soon as I haveassisted her with her night-clothes; the wardrobe-woman then wassummoned, and I regularlymade my courtesy. It was a satisfaction to me, however, now toleave her the last, and to come to her the first. Her present dressing-room is also her dining-room, her Page 239 drawing-room, her sitting-room; she has nothing else but herbed-room! I left her with my fervent prayers for better times, and saw hernearer to composure than I had believed possible in such acalamity. She called to her aid her religion, and without itwhat, indeed, must have become of her? It was near two in themorning when I quitted her. In passing through the dressing-room to come away, I found MissGoldsworthy in some distress how to execute a commission of thequeen's: it was to her brother, who was to sit up in a roomadjoining to the king's ; and she was undressed, and knew not howto go to him, as the princes were to and fro everywhere. Ioffered to call him to her she thankfully accepted the proposal. I cared not, just then, whom I encountered, so I could makemyself of any use. When I gently opened the door of the apartment to which I wasdirected, I found it was quite filled with gentlemen andattendants, arranged round it on chairs and sofas in deadsilence. It was a dreadful start, with which I retreated; foranything more alarming and shocking could not be conceived! thepoor king within another door, unconscious any one was near him, and thus watched, by dread necessity, at such an hour of thenight! I pronounced the words "Colonel Goldsworthy, " however, before I drew back, though I could not distinguish one gentlemanfrom another, except the two princes, by their stars. I waited in the next room; but instead of Colonel Goldsworthy, mycall was answered by Mr. Fairly. I acquainted him with myerrand. He told me he had himself insisted that ColonelGoldsworthy should go to bed, as he had sat up all the precedingnight and he had undertaken to supply his place. I went back to Miss Goldsworthy with this account. She begged meto entreat Mr. Fairly would come to her, as she must now make thecommission devolve on him, and could less than ever appear, herself, as they were all assembled in such a party. Mr. Fairly, most considerately, had remained in this quiet roomto see if anything more might be wanted, which spared me thedistress of again intruding into the public room. I begged himto follow, and we were proceeding to the dressing-room, when Iwas stopped by a gentleman, who said, "Does the queen wantanybody?" Page 240 It was the Prince of Wales. "Not the queen, sir, " I answered, "but Miss Goldsworthy, has desired to see Mr. Fairly. " He let me pass, but stopped Mr. Fairly; and, as he seemedinclined to detain him some time, I only told Miss Goldsworthywhat had retarded him, and made off to my own room, and soonafter two o'clock, I believe, I was in bed. A CHANGE IN MISS BURNEYs DUTIES. Friday, Nov. 7. -I was now arrived at a sort of settled regularityof life more melancholy than can possibly be described. I roseat six, dressed, and hastened to the queen's apartments, uncalled, and there waited in silence and in the dark till Iheard her move or speak with Miss Goldsworthy, and then presentedmyself to the sad bedside of the unhappy queen. She sent MissGoldsworthy early every morning, to make inquiry what sort ofnight his majesty had passed; and in the middle of the night shecommonly Also sent for news by the wardrobe-woman, or MissMacenton, whichever sat up. She dismissed Miss Goldsworthy, on my arrival, to dress herself. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave accommodated her with her own room forthat purpose. I had then a long conference with this mostpatient sufferer - and equal forbearance and quietness during aperiod of suspensive unhappiness never have I seen, never could Ihave imagined. At noon now I never saw her, which I greatly regretted but shekept on her dressing-gown all day, and the princes werecontinually about the passages, so that no one unsummoned daredapproach the queen's apartments. It was only therefore at nightand morning I could see her - but my heart was with her thelivelong day. And how long, good heaven! how long that daybecame! Endless I used to think it, for nothing could I do--to wait and to watch--starting at everysound, yet revived by every noise. MR. FAIRLY SUCCEEDS IN SOOTHING THE KING. While I was yet with my poor royal sufferer this morning thePrince of Wales came hastily into the room. He apologized forhis intrusion, and then gave a very energetic history of thepreceding night. It had been indeed most affectingly dreadful !The king had risen in the middle of the night, and Page 241 would take no denial to walking into the next room. There he sawthe large congress I have mentioned : amazed and inconsternation, he demanded what they did there--Much followedthat I have heard since, particularly the warmest éloge on hisdear son Frederick--his favourite, his friend. "Yes, " he cried, "Frederick is my friend!" and this son was then present amongstthe rest, but not seen! Sir George Baker was there, and was privately exhorted by thegentlemen to lead the king back to his room; but he had not courage:he attempted only to speak, and the king penned him in a corner, told him he was a mere old woman--that he wondered he had everfollowed his advice, for he knew nothing of his complaint, whichwas only nervous! The Prince of Wales, by signs and whispers, would have urgedothers to have drawn him away, but no one dared approach him, andhe remained there a considerable time. "Nor do I know when hewould have been got back, " continued the prince, "if at last Mr. Fairly had not undertaken him. I am extremely obliged to Mr. Fairly indeed. He came boldly up to him, and took him by the arm, and begged him to go to bed, and then drew him along, andsaid he must go. Then he said he would not, and cried 'Who areyou?' 'I am Mr. Fairly, sir, ' he answered, 'and your majesty hasbeen very good to me often, and now I am going to be very good toyou, for you must come to bed, sir: it is necessary to yourlife. ' And then he was so surprised, that he let himself bedrawn along just like a child; and so they got him to bed. Ibelieve else he would have stayed all night. Mr. Fairly has had some melancholy experience in a case of thissort, with a very near connexion of his own. How fortunatehe was present! NEW ARRANGEMENTS. At noon I had the most sad pleasure of receiving Mr. And Mrs. Smelt. They had heard in York of the illness of the king, and hadtravelled -post to Windsor. Poor worthy, excellent couple!--Illand infirm, what did they not suffer from an attack like this--sowonderfully unexpected upon a patron so adored! They wished the queen to be acquainted with their arrival, yetwould not let me risk meeting the princes in carrying the news. Mr. Smelt I saw languished to see his king: he was Page 242 persuaded he might now repay a part of former benefits, and hewished to be made his page during his illness, that he mightwatch and attend him hourly. I had had a message in the morning by Mr. Gorton, the clerk ofthe kitchen, to tell me the Prince of Wales wished ourdining-parlour to be appropriated to the physicians, both fortheir dinner and their consultations. I was therefore obliged toorder dinner for Miss Planta, and myself in my ownSitting-parlour, which was now unmaterial, as the equerries didnot come to tea, but continued +altogether in the music-room. In the evening, of course, came Mr. Fairly, but then it was onlyto let me know it would be of course no longer. He then rang thebell for my tea-urn, finding I had waited, though he 0 declineddrinking tea with me; but he sat down, and staved half an hour, telling me the long story he had promised which Was a full detailof the terrible preceding night. The transactions of the dayalso he related to me, and the designs for the future. Howalarming were they all! yet many particulars, he said, heomitted, merely because they were yet more affecting, and couldbe dwelt upon to no purpose. THE PRINCESS AUGUSTA'S BIRTHDAY. Saturday, Nov. 8-This was, if possible, the saddest day yetpassed: it was the birthday of Princess Augusta, and Mrs. Siddonshad been invited to read a play, and a large party of company toform the audience. What a contrast from such an intention wasthe event! When I went, before seven o'clock in the morning, to my mostunhappy royal mistress, the princes were both in the room. Iretreated to the next apartment till they had finished theirconference. The Prince of Wales upon these occasions has alwaysbeen extremely well-bred and condescending in his manner, which, in a situation such as mine, is no immaterial circumstance. The poor queen then spoke to me of the birthday present she haddesigned for her most amiable daughter. She hesitated a littlewhether or not to produce it, but at length meekly said, "Yes, goto Miss Planta and bring it. Do you think there can be any harmin giving it now?" "O, no!" I said, happy to encourage whatever was a little lessgloomy, and upstairs I flew. I was met by all the poorprincesses and the Duke of York, who inquired if he might go Page 243 again to the queen. I begged leave first to execute mycommission. I did; but so engrossed was my mind with the wholeof this living tragedy, that I so little noticed what it was Icarried as to be now unable to recollect it. I gave it, however, to the queen, who then sent for the princesses, and carried hergift to her daughter, weeping, who received it with a silentcourtesy, kissing and wetting with her gentle tears the hand ofher afflicted mother. STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF THE FIRST GENTLEMAN IN EUROPE. During my mournful breakfast poor Mr. Smelt arrived from Kew, where he had now settled himself. Mr. De Luc also joined us, andthey could neither prevail upon themselves to go away all themorning. Mr. Smelt had some thoughts of taking up his abode inWindsor till the state of things should be more decisive. Theaccounts of the preceding night had been most cruel, and to quitthe spot was scarce supportable to him. Yet he feared theprinces might disapprove his stay, and he well knew his influenceand welcome at Court was all confined to the sick-room: thence, there could now issue no mandate. Yet I encouraged him to stay; so did Mr. De Luc; and while he wasstill wavering he saw Dr. Warren in the courtyard, and againhastened to speak with him. Before he returned the Prince ofWales went out and met him; and you may imagine how much I waspleased to observe from the window that he took him by the arm, and walked up and down with him. When he came to us he said the prince had told him he had betterstay, that he might see the queen. He determined, therefore, tosend off an express to Mrs. Smelt, and go and secure an apartmentat the inn. This was very soothing to me, who so much neededjust such consolation as he could bestow - and I begged he wouldcome back to dinner, and spend the whole day in my room, duringhis stay. What, however, was my concern and amaze, when, soon after, hastily returning, he desired to speak to me alone, and, as Mr. De Luc moved off, told me he was going back immediately to Kew! He spoke with a tremor that alarmed me. I entreated to know whysuch a change? He then informedme that the porter, Mr. Humphreys, had refused him re-entrance, and sent him his great coat ! He had resented this Page 244 impertinence, and was told it was by the express order of theprince! In utter astonishment he then only desired admittancefor one moment to my room, and having acquainted me with thiscircumstance, he hurried off, in a state of distress, andindignation that left me penetrated with both. >From this time, as the poor king grew worse, general hope seemeduniversally to abate; and the Prince of Wales now took thegovernment of the house into his own hands. Nothing was done butby his orders, and he was applied to in every difficulty. Thequeen interfered not in anything - she lived entirely in her twonew rooms, and spent the whole day in patient sorrow andretirement with her daughters. STRINGENT NEW REGULATIONS. The next news that reached me, through Mr. De Luc, was, that theprince had sent his commands to the porter, to admit only fourpersons into the house on any pretence whatever these were Mr. Majendie, Mr. Turbulent, General Harcourt, and Mr. De Luchimself; and these were ordered to repair immediately to theequerry-room below stairs, while no one whatsoever was to beallowed to go to any other apartment. >From this time commenced a total banishment from all intercourseout of the house, and an unremitting confinement within itswalls. Poor Mr. De Luc, however, could not forego coming to my room. Hedetermined to risk that, since he was upon the list of those whomight enter the house. I was glad, because he is a truly goodman, and our sentiments upon this whole melancholy business werethe same. But otherwise, the weariness of a great length ofvisit daily from a person so slow and methodical in discourse, soexplanatory of everything and of nothing, at this agitatingperiod, was truly painful to endure. He has often talked to metill my poor burthened head has seemed lost to all understanding. I had now, all tea-meetings being over, no means of gaining anyparticulars of what was passing, which added so much to thehorror of the situation, that by the evening I was almostpetrified. Imagine, then, alike my surprise and satisfaction ata visit from Mr. Fairly. He had never come to me sounexpectedly. I eagerly begged an account of what was going on, and, with his usual readiness and accuracy, he gave it me in fulldetail. And nothing could be more tragic than all the Page 245 particulars every species of evil seemed now hanging over thisunhappy family. He had had his son with him in his room upstairs; "And I had agood mind, " he said, "to have brought him to visit YOU. " I assured him he would have been a very welcome guest; and whenhe added that he could no longer have him at the Equerry table todinner, as the Prince of Wales now presided there, I invited himfor the next day to mine. He not only instantly accepted the proposal, but cried, withgreat vivacity, "I wish you would invite me too. " I thought he was laughing, but said, "Certainly, if such a thingmight be allowed;" and then, to my almost speechless surprise, hedeclared, If I would give him permission, he would dine with menext day. He then proceeded to say that the hurry, and fatigue, and violentanimal spirits of the other table quite overpowered him, and arespite of such a quiet sort would be of essential service tohim. Yet he paused a little afterwards, upon the propriety ofleaving the Prince of Wales's table, and said "He would firstconsult with General Budé, and hear his opinion. " Sunday, Nov. 9. -No one went to church - not a creature now quitsthe house: but I believe devotion never less required the aid andinfluence of public worship. For me, I know, I spent almost mywhole time between prayer and watching. Even my melancholyresource, my tragedy, was now thrown aside ; misery so actual, living, and present, was knit too closely around me to allow mydepressed imagination to fancy any woe beyond what my heart felt. In coming early from the queen's apartment this morning I wasaddressed by a gentleman who inquired how I did, by my name; butmy bewilderment made him obliged to tell his own before I couldrecollect him. It was Dr. Warren. I eagerly expressed my hopes and satisfaction in his attendanceupon the poor king, but he would not enter upon that subject. Isuppose he feared, from my zeal, some indiscreet questionsconcerning his opinion of the case; for he passed by all I couldstart, to answer only with speeches relative to myself-of hisdisappointment in never meeting me, though residing under thesame roof, his surprise in not dining with me when told he was todine in my room, and the strangeness of never seeing me when sofrequently he heard my name. I could not bring myself to ask him to my apartment, when Page 246 I saw, by his whole manner, e held it imprudent to speak with meabout the only subject on which I wished to talk--the king; andjust then seeing the Duke of York advancing, I hastily retreated. While I was dressing, Mr. Fairly rapped at my door. I sent outGoter, who brought me his compliments, and, if it would not beinconvenient to me, he and his son would have the pleasure ofdining with me. I answered, I should be very glad of their company, as would MissPlanta. Miss Goldsworthy had now arranged herself with the LadyWaldegraves. Our dinner was as pleasant as a dinner at such a season could be. Mr. Fairly holds cheerfulness as a duty in the midst of everyaffliction that can admit it; and, therefore, , whenever hisanimal spirits have a tendency to rise, he encourages andsustains them, So fond, too, is he of his son, that his verysight is a cordial to him - and that mild, feeling, amiable boyquite idolizes his father, looking up to him, hanging on his arm, and watching his eye to smile and be smiled upon, with a fondnesslike that of an infant to its maternal nurse. Repeatedly Mr. Fairly exclaimed, "What a relief is this, to dinethus quietly!" What a relief should I, too, have found it, but for a littlecircumstance, which I will soon relate, MRS. SCHWELLENBERG IS BACK AGAIN. We were still at table, with the dessert, when Columb entered andannounced the sudden return from Weymouth of Mrs. Schwellenberg. Up we all started; Miss Planta flew out to receive her, and statethe situation of the house; Mr. Fairly, expecting, I believe, shewas coming into my room, hastily made his exit without a word;his son eagerly scampered after him, and I followed Miss Plantaupstairs. My reception, however, was such as to make me deem it most properto again return to my room. What an addition this to the gloomof all ! and to begin at once with harshness and rudeness! Icould hardly tell how to bear it. Nov. 10. -This was a most dismal day. The dear and most sufferingking was extremely ill, the queen very wretched, poor Mrs. Schwellenberg all spasm and horror, Miss Planta all restlessness, the house all mystery, and my only informant and Page 247 comforter distanced. Not a word, the whole day through, did Ihear of what was passing or intending. Our dinner was worse thanan almost famished fasting; we parted after it, and met no more. Mrs. Schwellenberg, who never drinks tea herself, hearing thegeneral party was given up, and never surmising there had everbeen any particular one, neither desired me to come to her, norproposed returning to me. She took possession of the poorqueen's former dressing-room, and between that and the adjoiningapartments she spent all the day, except during dinner. Nov. 11. -This day passed like the preceding; I only saw hermajesty in the morning, and not another human being from thathour till Mrs. Schwellenberg and Miss Planta came to dinner. Norcould I then gather any information of the present state ofthings, as Mrs. Schwellenberg announced that nothing must betalked of. To give any idea of the dismal horror of passing so many hours inutter ignorance, where every interest of the mind was sighing forintelligence, would not be easy: the experiment alone could giveit its full force; and from that, Heaven ever guard my lovedreaders! Nov. 12. -To-day a little brightened upon us some change appearedin the loved royal sufferer, and though it was not actually forthe better in itself, yet any change was pronounced to besalutary, as, for some days pas'' there had been a monotonouscontinuation of the same bad symptoms, that had doubly depressedus all. My spirits rose immediately ; indeed, I thank God, Inever desponded, though many times I stood nearly alone in myhopes. In the passage, in the morning, I encountered Colonel Gwynn. Ihad but just time to inform him I yet thought all would do well, ere the princes appeared. All the equerries are now here exceptMajor Garth, who is ill; and they have all ample employment inwatching and waiting. From time to time they have allinterviews; but it is only because the poor king will not bedenied seeing them: it is not thought light. But I must enterinto nothing of this sort-it is all too closely connected withprivate domestic concerns for paper. After dinner, my chief guest, la Présidente, told me, " If myroom was not so warm, she would stay a little with me. " I feltthis would be rather too superlative an obligation; and thereforeI simply answered that "I was too chilly to sit in a Page 248 cold room;" and I confess I took no pains to temper it accordingto this hint. PUBLIC PRAYERS FOR THE KING DECIDED UPON. Finding there was now no danger Of disagreeable interviews, Mr. Fairly renewed his visits as usual. He came early this evening, and narrated the state of things; and then, with a laugh, heInquired What I had done With my head companion, and how I gotrid of her? I fairly told him my malice about the temperature. He could not help laughing, though he instantly remonstratedagainst an expedient that might prove prejudicial to my health. "You had better not, " he cried, "try any experiments of thissort: if you hurt Your nerves, it may prove a permanent evil;this other can only be temporary. " He took up the "Task" again; but he opened, by ill luck, uponnothing striking or good; and soon, with distaste, flung the bookdown, and committed himself wholly to conversation. He told me he wished much he had been able to consult with me onthe preceding morning, when he had the queen's orders to write, in her majesty's name, to the Archbishop of Canterbury, to issueout public prayers for the poor king, for all the churches. I assured him I fancied it might do very well without my aid. There was to be a privy council summoned, in consequence of theletter, to settle the mode of compliance. How right a step in my ever-right royal mistress is this! If youhear less of her now, my dearest friends, and of the internaltransactions, it is only because I now rarely saw her but alone, and all that passed, therefore, was in promised confidence. And, for the rest, the whole of my information concerning the princes, and the plans and the proceedings of the house, was told me inperfect reliance on my secrecy and honour. I know this is saying enough to the most honourable of allconfidants and friends to whom I am writing. All that passeswith regard to myself is laid completely before them. Nov. 13- This was the fairest day we have passed since the firstseizure of the most beloved of monarchs. He was considerablybetter. O what a ray of joy lightened us, and how mildly did mypoor queen receive it Page 249 Nov. 14--Still all was greatly amended, and better spirits reigned throughout the house. Mr. Fairly--I can write of no one else, for no one else did Isee--called early, to tell me he had received an answer relativeto the prayer for his majesty's recovery, in consequence of whichhe had the queen's commands for going to town the next day, tosee the archbishop. This was an employment so suited to thereligious cast of his character, that I rejoiced to see it fallinto his hands. He came again in the evening, and said he had now got the prayer. He did not entirely approve it, nor think it sufficiently warmand animated. I petitioned to hear it, and he readily complied, and read it with great reverence, but very unaffectedly andquietly. I was very, very much touched by It ; yet not, I own, quite so much as once before by another, which was read to me byMr. Cambridge, and composed by his son, for the sufferings of hisexcellent daughter Catherine. It was at once so devout, yet soconcise--so fervent, yet so simple, and the many tender relationsconcerned in it--father, brother, sister, --so powerfully affectedme, that I had no command over the feelings then excited, eventhough Mr. Cambridge almost reproved me for want of fortitude;but there was something so tender in a prayer of a brother for asister. Here, however, I was under better control - for though my wholeheart was filled with the calamitous state of this unhappymonarch, and with deepest affliction for all his family, I yetknew so well my reader was one to severely censure all failure incalmness and firmness, that I struggled, and not ineffectually, to hear him with a steadiness like his own. But, fortunately forthe relief of this force, he left the room for a few minutes tosee if he was wanted, and I made use of his absence to give alittle vent to those tears which I had painfully restrained inhis presence. When he returned we had one of the best (on his part)conversations in which I have ever been engaged, upon the highestand most solemn of all subjects, prayers and supplications toheaven. He asked my opinion with earnestness, and gave his ownwith unbounded openness. Nov. 15-This morning my poor royal mistress herself presented mewith one of the prayers for the king. I shall always keep it --how--how fervently did I use it! Whilst I was at breakfast Mr. Fairly once more called before heset off for town and he brought me also a copy of the Page 250 prayer. He had received a large packet of them from thearchbishop, Dr. Moore, to distribute in the house. The whole day the king continued amended. Sunday, Nov. 16. -This morning I ventured out to church. I didnot like to appear abroad, but yet I had a most irresistibleearnestness to join the public congregation in the prayer for theking. Indeed nothing could be more deeply moving: the very soundof the cathedral service, performed in his own chapel, overset meat once; and every prayer in the service in which he wasmentioned brought torrents of tears from all the suppliants thatjoined in them. I could scarcely keep my place, scarce commandmy voice from audible sobs. To come to the House of prayer fromsuch a house of woe! I ran away when the service was over, toavoid inquiries. Mrs. Kennedy ran after me, with swollen eyes; Icould not refuse her a hasty answer, but I ran the faster afterit, to avoid any more. The king was worse. His night had been very bad ; all the fairpromise of amendment was shaken; he had now some symptoms evendangerous to his life. O good heaven, what a day did this prove! I saw not a human face, save at dinner and then, what faces!gloom and despair in all, and silence to every species ofintelligence. . . . It was melancholy to see the crowds of former welcome visitorswho were now denied access. The prince reiterated his formerorders; and I perceived from my window those who had ventured tothe door returning back in deluges of tears. Amongst them to-dayI perceived poor Lady Effingham, the Duchess of Ancaster, and Mr. Bryant ; the last sent me In, afterwards, a mournful littleletter, to which he desired no answer. Indeed I was not atliberty to write a word. SIR LuCAS PEPYS ON THE KING's CONDITION. Nov. 19. -The account of the dear king this morning was ratherbetter. Sir Lucas Pepys was now called in, and added to Dr. Warren, Dr. Heberden, and Sir George Baker. I earnestly wished to see him, and I found my poor royal mistress was secretly anxious to knowhis opinion. I sent to beg to speak with him, as soon as theconsultation was over; determined, however, to make that requestno more if he was as shy of giving information as Dr. Warren, Page 251 poor Mr. De Luc was with me wen he came ; but it wasnecessary I should see Sir Lucas alone, that I might have abetter claim upon his discretion : nevertheless I feared he wouldhave left me, without the smallest intelligence, before I wasable to make my worthy, but most slow companion comprehend thenecessity of his absence. The moment we were alone, Sir Lucas opened upon the subject inthe most comfortable manner. He assured me there was nothingdesponding in the case, and that his royal patient wouldcertainly recover, though not immediately. Whilst I was in the midst of the almost speechless joy with whichI heard this said, and ready to kiss the very feet of Sir Lucasfor words of such delight, a rap at my door made me open it toMr. Fairly, who entered, saying, "I must come to ask you how youdo, though I have no good news to bring you; but--" He then, with the utmost amaze, perceived Sir Lucas. In so verymany visits he had constantly found me alone, that I reallybelieve he had hardly thought it possible he should see me in anyother way. They then talked over the poor king's situation, and Sir Lucaswas very open and comforting. How many sad meetings have I hadwith him heretofore ; first in the alarming attacks of poor Mr. Thrale, and next in the agonizing fluctuations of his unhappywidow! Sir Lucas wished to speak with me alone, as he had something hewanted, through me, to communicate to the queen; but as he sawMr. Fairly not disposed to retire first, by his manner of saying"Sir Lucas, you will find all the breakfast ready below stairs, "he made his bow, and said he would see me again. Mr. Fairly then informed me he was quite uneasy at the recluselife led by the queen and the princesses, and that he was anxiousto prevail with them to take a little air, which must beabsolutely necessary to their health. He was projecting a schemefor this purpose, which required the assistance of the Duke ofYork, and he left me, to confer upon it with his royal highness, promising to return and tell its success. Sir Lucas soon came back, and then gave me such unequivocalassurances of the king's recovery, that the moment he left me Iflew to demand a private audience of the queen, that I mightrelate such delightful prognostics. The Duke of York was with her, I waited in the passage, Page 252 where I met Lady Charlotte Finch, and tried what I could toinstil into her mind the hopes I entertained: this, however, wasnot possible; a general despondency prevailed throughout thehouse, and Lady Charlotte was infected by it very deeply. At length I gained admission and gave my account, which was mostmeekly received by the most patient of sorrowers. At night came Mr. Fairly again; but, before he entered into anynarrations he asked "DO you expect Sir Lucas?" "No, " I said, "he had been already. " "I saw him rise early from table, " he added, "and I thought hewas coming to YOU. " He has taken no fancy to poor Sir Lucas, and would rather, apparently, avoid meeting him. However, it is to me so essentiala comfort to hear his opinions, that I have earnestly entreatedto see him by every opportunity. FURTHER CHANGES AT THE LODGE. The equerries now had their own table as usual, to which thephysicians were regularly invited, downstairs, and oureating-party was restored. The princes established a table oftheir own at the Castle, to which they gave daily invitations tosuch as they chose, from time to time, to select from the Lodge. The noise of so large a party just under the apartment of thequeen occasioned this new regulation, which took place by hermajesty's own direction. Nov. 20. -Poor Miss Goldsworthy was now quite ill, and forced toretire and nurse. No wonder, for she had suffered the worst sortof fatigue, that of fearing to sleep, from the apprehension thequeen might speak, and want her. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave nowtook her place Of sleeping in the queen's room, but the office ofgoing for early intelligence how his majesty had passed the nightdevolved upon me. Exactly at seven o'clock I now went to the queen's apartment -Lady Elizabeth then rose and went to her own room to dress, and Ireceived the queen's commands for my inquiries. I could not, however, go myself into the room where they assembled, which MissGoldsworthy, who always applied to her brother, had very properlydone : I sent in a message to beg to speak with General Bud, orwhoever could bring an account. Mr. Charles Hawkins came; he had sat up. O, how terrible anarrative did he drily give of the night!--short, abrupt, Page 253 peremptorily bad, and indubitably hopeless! I did not darealter, but I greatly softened this relation, in giving it to mypoor queen. I had been, indeed, too much shocked by the hard wayin which I had been told it, to deliver it in the same manner;neither did I, in my own heart, despair. I saw Sir Lucas afterwards, who encouraged all my more sanguineopinions. He told me many new regulations had been made. Hismajesty was to be kept as quiet as possible, and see onlyphysicians, except for a short and stated period in every day, during which he might summon such among his gentlemen as hepleased. Mr. Fairly came also early, and wrote and read letters of greatconsequence relative to the situation of affairs ; and he told mehe was then to go to the king, who had refused his assent to thenew plan, and insisted upon seeing him when he came in from hisride, which, to keep him a little longer quiet, they had made himbelieve he was then taking. The gentlemen had agreed to bewithin call alternately, and he meant to have his own turn alwaysin the forenoon, that his evenings might have some chance forquiet, The rest of the day was comfortless; my coadjutrix was nowgrown so fretful and affronting that, though we only met atdinner, it was hard to support her most unprovoked harshness. MR. FAIRLY AND THE LEARNED LADIES. At night, while I was just sealing a short note to my dear MissCambridge, who had an anxiety like that of my own Susan and Fredylest I should suffer from my present fatigues, I heard thesoftest tap at my door, which, before I could either put down myletter or speak, was suddenly but most gently opened. I turned about and saw a figure wrapped up in a great, coat, withboots and a hat on, who cautiously entered, and instantly closedthe door. I stared, and looked very hard, but the face was muchhid by the muffling of the high collar to the great coat. Iwondered, and could not conceive who it could be. The figurethen took off his hat and bowed, but he did not advance, and thelight was away from him. I courtsied, and wondered more, andthen a surprised voice exclaimed, "Don't you know me?" and Ifound it was Mr. Fairly. "I cannot, " he said, "stop now, but I will come again; however, you know it, perhaps, already? Page 254 "Know what?" "Why--the--news. " "What news?" "Why--that the king is much better, and--" "Yes, Sir Lucas said so, but I have seen nobody since. " "No? And have you heard nothing more?" "Nothing at all; I cannot guess what you mean. " "What, then, have not you heard--how Much the king has talked?And--and have not you heard the charge. " "No; I have heard not a word of any charge. " "Why, then, I'll tell you. " A long preamble, uttered very rapidly, of "how much the king hadbeen talking, " seemed less necessary to introduce hisintelligence than to give him time to arrange it; and I was somuch struck with this, that I could not even listen to him, fromimpatience to have him proceed. Suddenly, however, breaking off, evidently from not knowing howto go on, he exclaimed, "Well, I shall tell it you all by and by;you come in for your share!" Almost breathless now with amaze, I could hardly cry, "Do I?" "Yes, I'll tell you, " cried he; but again he stopped, and, hesitatingly, said, "You--you won't be angry?" "No, " I answered, still more amazed, and even almost terrified, at what I had now to expect. "Well, then, " cried he, instantly resuming his first gay andrapid manner, "the king has been calling them all to order forstaying so long away from him. 'All the equerries and gentlemenhere, ' he said, 'lost their whole time at the table, by drinkingso much wine and sitting so long over their bottle, whichconstantly made them all so slow in returning to their waiting, that when he wanted them in the afternoon they were never ready;and-and-and Mr. Fairly, ' says he, 'is as bad as any of them; notthat he stays so long at table, or is so fond of wine, but he'sjust as late as the rest; for he's so fond of the company oflearned ladies, that he gets to the tea-table with Miss Burney, and there he stays and spends his whole time. '" He spoke all this like the velocity of lightning- but, had itbeen with the most prosing slowness, I had surely neverinterrupted him, so vexed I was, so surprised, so completelydisconcerted. Finding me silent, he began again, and as rapidlyas ever; "I know exactly, " he cried, "what it all means--what Page 255 the king has in his head--exactly what has given rise to theidea--'tis Miss Fuzilier. " Now, indeed, I stared afresh, little expecting to hear her namedby him. He went on in too much hurry for me to recollect hisprecise words, but he spoke of her very highly, and mentioned herlearning, her education, and her acquirements, with great praise, yet with that sort of general commendation that disclaims allpeculiar interest; and then, with some degree of displeasuremixed in his voice, mentioned the report that had been spreadconcerning- them, and its having reached the ears of the kingbefore his Illness. He then lightly added something I could notcompletely hear, of its utter falsehood, in a way that seemed tohold even a disavowal too important for it, and then concludedwith saying, "And this in the present confused state of his mindis altogether, I know, what he means by the learned ladies. " When he had done he looked earnestly for my answer, but finding Imade none, he said, with some concern, "You won't think any moreof it?" "No, " I answered, rather faintly. In a lighter manner then, as if to treat the whole as too lightfor a thought, he said, as he was leaving the room to change hisdress, "Well, since I have now got the character of being so fondof such company, I shall certainly"--he stopped short, evidentlyat a loss how to go on; but quickly after, with a laugh, hehastily added, "come and drink tea with you very often;" andthen, with another laugh, which he had all to himself, he hurriedaway. He left me, however, enough to think upon and the predominantthought was an immediate doubt whether or not, since his visitshad reached the king, his majesty's observation upon them oughtto stop their continuance? Upon the whole, however, when I summed up all, I found not causesufficient for any change of system. No raillery had passed uponme; and, for him, he had stoutly evinced a determined contempt ofit. Nothing of flirtation had been mentioned for either; I hadmerely been called a learned lady, and he had merely been accusedOf liking such company. I had no other social comfort left mebut Mr. Fairly, and I had discomforts past all description orsuggestion. Should I drive him from me, what would pay me, andhow had he deserved it? and which way could it be worth while? His friendship offered me a solace without hazard; it was heldout to me Page 256 when all else was denied me; banished from every friend, confinedalmost to a state of captivity, harrowed to the very soul withsurrounding afflictions, and without a glimpse of light as towhen or how all might terminate, it seemed to me, in thissituation, that providence had benignly sent in my way acharacter of so much worth and excellence, to soften the rigourof my condition, by kind sympathy and most honourable confidence. This idea was sufficient; and I thence determined to follow as heled, in disdaining any further notice, or even remembrance, ifpossible, of this learned accusation. Nov. 21. -All went better and better to-day, and I received fromthe king's room a more cheering account to carry to my poorqueen. We had now hopes of a speedy restoration : the king held long conferences with all his gentlemen, and, though far from composed, was so frequently rational as to- makeany resistance to his will nearly impossible. Innumerabledifficulties attended this state, but the general promise it gaveof a complete recovery recompensed them all. Sir Lucas Pepys came to me in the morning and acquainted me withthe rising hopes of amendment. But he disapproved the admissionof so many gentlemen, and would have limited the license to onlythe equerry in waiting, Colonel Goldsworthy, and Mr. Fairly, whowas now principal throughout the house, in universal trust forhis superior judgment. The king, Sir Lucas said, now talked of everybody and everythinghe could recollect or suggest. So I have heard, thought I. And, presently after, he added, "No one escapes; you will haveyour turn. " Frightened lest he knew I had had it, I eagerly exclaimed, "O, no; I hope not. " "And why?" cried he, good-humouredly; "what need you care? He cansay no harm of you. " I ventured then to ask if yet I had been named? He believed notyet. This doubled my curiosity to know to whom the "learned ladies"had been mentioned, and whether to Mr. Fairly himself, or tosomeone who related it; I think the latter, but there is no wayto inquire. Very early in the evening I heard a rap at my door. I was in myinner room, and called out, "Who's there?" The door opened andMr, Fairly appeared. Page 257 He had been so long in attendance this morning with our poor sickmonarch, that he was too much fatigued to join the dinner-party. He had stood five hours running, besides the concomitantcircumstances of attention. He had instantly laid down when heprocured his dismission, and had only risen to eat some coldchicken before he came to my room. During that repast he hadagain been demanded, but he charged the gentleman to make hisexcuse, as he could go through nothing further. I hope the king did not conclude him again with the learned; Thiswas the most serene, and even cheerful evening, , I had passedsince the poor king's first seizure. REPORTS ON THE KING'S CONDITION. Nov. 22. -When I went for my morning inquiries, Colonel Mannerscame out to me. He could give me no precise account, as thesitters-up had not yet left the king, but he feared the night hadbeen bad. We mutually bewailed the mournful state of the house. He is a very good creature at heart, though as unformed as if hehad just left Eton or Westminster. But he loves his master witha true and faithful heart, and is almost as ready to die as tolive for him, if any service of that risk was proposed to him. While the queen's hair was dressing, though only for a close cap, I was sent again. Colonel Manners came out to me, and begged Iwould enter the music-room, as Mr. Keate, the surgeon, had nowjust left the king, and was waiting to give me an account beforehe laid down. I found him in his night-cap: he took me up to a window, and gaveme but a dismal history : the night had been very unfavourable, and the late amendment very transient. I heard nothing furthertill the evening, when my constant companion came to me. All, hesaid, was bad: he had been summoned and detained nearly all themorning, and had then rode to St. Leonard's to get a little rest, as he would not return till after dinner. He had but just begun his tea when his name was called aloud inthe passage: up he started, seized his hat, and with a hasty bow, decamped. I fancy it was one of the princes; and the more, as hedid not come back. Sunday, Nov. 23. -A sad day this! I was sent as usual for Page 258 the night account, which I had given to me by Mr. Fairly, and avery dismal one indeed. Yet I never, upon this point, yieldimplicitly to his opinion, as I see him frequently of thedespairing side, and as for myself, I thank God, my hopes neverwholly fall. A certain faith in his final recovery has uniformlysupported my spirits from the beginning. . . In the evening, a small tap at my door, with, "Here I am again, "ushered in Mr. Fairly. He seemcd much hurried and disturbed, andinnately uncomfortable; and very soon he entered into a detail ofthe situation of affairs that saddened me in the extreme. Thepoor king was very ill indeed, and so little aware of his owncondition, that he would submit to no rule, and chose to havecompany with him from morning till night, sending out for thegentlemen one after another without intermission, and chiefly forMr. Fairly, who, conscious it was hurtful to his majesty, andnearly worn out himself, had now no chance of respite or escapebut by leaving the house and riding out. . . . I have never seen him so wearied, or so vexed, I know not which. "How shall I rejoice, " he cried, "when all this is over, and Ican turn my back to this scene!" I should rejoice, I said, for him when he could make his escape;but his use here, in the whole round, is infinite; almost nothingis done without consulting him. "I wish, " he cried, while he was making some memorandums, "Icould live without sleep; I know not now how to spare my night. " He then explained to me various miscellaneous matters ofoccupation, and confessed himself forced to break from theconfused scene of action as much as possible, where the tumultand bustle were as overpowering, as the affliction, in the morequiet apartments, was dejecting. Then, by implication, whatcredit did he not give to my Poor still room, which he made meunderstand was his only refuge and consolation in this miserablehouse! MR. FAIRLY THINKS THE KING NEEDS STRICTER MANAGEMENT. Nov. 24. -Very bad again was the night's account, whichI received at seven o'clock this morning from Mr. DUndas. Ireturned with it to my Poor royal mistress, who heard it with herusual patience. Page 259 While I was still with her, Lady Elizabeth came with arequest from Mr. Fairly, for an audience before her majesty'sbreakfast. As soon as she was ready she ordered me to tell LadyElizabeth to bring him. . . . Soon after, --with a hasty rap, came Mr. Fairly. He brought hiswriting to my table, where I was trying to take off impressionsof plants. I Saw he meant to read me his letter; but before hehad finished it Lady Charlotte Finch came in search of him. Itwas not for the queen, but herself; she wished to speak andconsult with him upon the king's seeing his children, which wasnow his vehement demand. He was writing for one of the king's messengers, and could notstop till he had done. Poor Lady Charlotte, overcome withtenderness and compassion, wept the whole time he was at his pen;and when he had put it down, earnestly remonstrated on thecruelty of the present regulations, which debarred his majestythe sight of the princesses. I joined with her, though morefirmly, believe me; my tears I suppress for my solitude. I haveenough of that to give them vent, and, with all my suppression, my poor aching eyes can frequently scarce see one object fromanother. When Mr. Fairly left off writing he entered very deeply intoargument with Lady Charlotte. He was averse to her request; heexplained the absolute necessity of strong measures, and of thedenial of dangerous indulgences, while the poor king was in thiswretched state. The disease, he said, was augmented by everyagitation, and the discipline of forced quiet was necessary tillhe was capable of some reflection. At present he spokeeverything that occurred to him, and in a manner so wild, unreasonable, and dangerous, with regard to future constructions, that there could be no kindness so great to him as to suffer himonly to see those who were his requisite attendants. He then enumerated many instances very forcibly, in which heshowed how much more properly his majesty might have beentreated, by greater strength of steadiness in his management. Hetold various facts which neither of us had heard, and, at last, in speaking of the most recent occurrences, he fell into anarrative relating to himself. The king, he said, had almost continually demanded him of late, and with the most extreme agitation; he had been as much with himas it was possible for his health to bear. "Five hours, , continued he, "I spent with him on Friday, and four Page 260 on Saturday, and three and a half yesterday; yet the moment Iwent to him last night, he accused me of never coming near him. He said I gave him up entirely; that I was always going out, always dining out, always going to Mrs. Harcourt's--riding to St. Leonard's; but he knew why--'twas to meet Miss Fuzilier. " . . . Poor Lady Charlotte was answered, and, looking extremely sorry, went away. He then read me his messenger's letter. 'Twas upon a verydelicate affair, relative to the Prince of Wales, in whoseservice, he told me, he first began his Court preferment. When he had made up his packet he returned to the subject of theking's rage, with still greater openness. He had attacked him, he said, more violently than ever about Miss Fuzilier which, certainly, as there had been such a report, was very unpleasant. "And when I seriously assured him, " he added, "that there wasnothing in it, he said 'I had made him the happiest of men. "' Nov. 25. ---My morning account was from General Bud, anda very despairing one. He has not a ray of hope for better days. My poor queen was so much pleased with a sort of hymn for theking, which she had been reading In the newspapers, that Iscrupled not to tell her of one in manuscript, which, of course, she desired to read; but I stipulated for its return, though Icould not possibly stay in the room while she looked at it. MR. FAIRLY WANTS A CHANGE. In the evening Mr. Fairly came, entering with a most gently civilexclamation of "How long it is since I have seen you!" I could not answer, it was only one evening missed; for, intruth, a day at this time seems liberally a week, and a very slowone too. He had been to town, suddenly sent by the queen lastnight, and had returned only at noon. he gave me a full account of all that was passing and projecting;and awfully critical everything seemed. "He should now soon, " hesaid, "quit the tragic scene, and go to relax and recruit, withhis children, in the country. He regarded his service here asnearly over, since an entirely new regulation was planning, inwhich the poor king was no longer to be allowed the sight of anyof his gentlemen. His continual long conversations with themwere judged utterly improper, and Page 261 he was only to be attended by the medical people and his pages. " He then gave into my hands the office of hinting to the queen hisintention, if he could be dispensed with by her majesty, to gointo the Country on the 12th of next month (December), with hisboy Charles, who then left Eton for the Christmas holidays. Iknew this would be unwelcome intelligence, but I wished toforward his departure, and would not refuse the commission. Whenthis was settled he said he would go and take a circuit, and seehow matters stood; and then, if he could get away after showinghimself, return--if I would give him leave to drink his tea withme. He had not been gone ten minutes before Lady Charlotte came insearch of him. She had been told, she said, that he was with me. I laughed, but could not forbear asking if I passed for hiskeeper, since whenever he was missing I was always called toaccount for him. Again, however, he came and drank his tea, andstayed an hour, in most confidential discourse. When the new regulation is established, only one gentleman is toremain--which will be the equerry in waiting. This is nowColonel Goldsworthy. The rest will disperse. REMOVAL OF THE KING To KEW DETERMINED UPON. Nov. 26. -I found we were all speedily to remove to Kew. This wasto be kept profoundly secret till almost the moment of departure. The king will never consent to quit Windsor and to allure himaway by some stratagem occupies all the physicians, who haveproposed and enforced this measure. Mr. Fairly is averse to it:the king's repugnance he thinks insurmountable, and that it oughtnot to be opposed. But the princes take part with thephysicians. He left me to ride out, but more cordial and with greatersimplicity of kindness than ever, he smilingly said in going, "Well, good bye, and God bless you. " "Amen, " quoth I, after he had shut the door. Nov. 27. -This morning and whole day were dreadful My earlyaccount was given me by Mr. Charles Hawkins, and with suchdetermined decision of incurability, that I left him quite inhorror. All that I dared, I softened to my poor queen, who wasnow harassed to death with state affairs, and impending storms ofstate dissensions, I would have given Page 262 the world to have spent the whole day by her side, and poured inwhat balm of hope I could, since it appeared but too Visibly shescarce received a ray from any other. Universal despondence now pervaded the whole house. Sir Lucas, indeed, sustained his original good opinion, but he was nearlyoverpowered by standing alone, and was forced to let the streamtake its course with but little opposition. Even poor Mr. De Lucwas silenced ; Miss Planta easily yields to fear; and Mrs. Schwellenberg--who thinks it treason to say the king is ever atall indisposed--not being able to say all was quite well, forbadea single word being uttered upon the subject The dinners, therefore, became a time of extremest pain; all wasignorance, mystery, and trembling expectation of evil. In the evening, thank heaven! came again my sole relief, Mr. Fairly. He brought his son. And they entered with such sereneaspects, that I soon shook off a little of my gloom; and I heardthere was no new cause, for though all was bad, nothing wasworse. We talked over everything; and that always opens themind, and softens the bitterness of sorrow. The prospect before us, with respect to Kew, is indeed terrible. There is to be a total seclusion from all but those within thewalls, and those are to be contracted to merely necessaryattendants. Mr. Fairly disapproved the scheme, though a gainerby it of leisure and liberty. Only the equerry in waiting Is tohave a room in the house; the rest of the gentlemen are to taketheir leave. He meant, therefore, himself, to go into thecountry with all speed. Nov. 28. -How woful-how bitter a day, in every part, was this! My early account was from the king's page, Mr. Stillingfleet, andthe night had been extremely bad. I dared not sink the truth tomy poor queen, though I mixed in it whatever I Could devise ofcheer and hope; and she bore it with the most wonderful calmness. Dr. Addington was now called in: a very old physician, butpeculiarly experienced in disorders such as afflicted our poorking, though not professedly a practitioner in them. Sir Lucas made me a visit, and informed me of all the medicalproceedings; and told me, in confidence, we were to go to Kewto-morrow, though the queen herself had not yet concurred in themeasure; but the physicians joined to desire Page 263 it, and they were supported by the princes. The difficulty howto get the king away from his favourite abode was all thatrested. If they even attempted force, they had not a doubt buthis smallest resistance would call up the whole country to hisfancied rescue! Yet how, at such a time, prevail by persuasion? He moved me even to tears, by telling me that none of their own lives would be safe if theking did not recover so Prodigiously high ran the tide ofaffection and loyalty. All the physicians received threateningletters daily to answer for the safety of their monarch withtheir lives! Sir George Baker had already been Stopped in hiscarriage by the mob to give an account of the king; and when hesaid it Was a bad one, they had furiously exclaimed, "The moreshame for you!" A PRIVY COUNCIL HELD. After he left me, a privy council was held at the Castle, withthe Prince of Wales; the chancellor, (300) Mr. Pitt, and all theofficers of state were summoned, to sign a Permission for theking's removal. The poor queen gave an audience to thechancellor--it was necessary to sanctify their proceedings. Theprincess royal and Lady Courtown attended her. It was a tragedythe most dismal! The queen's knowledge of the king's aversion to Kew made herconsent to this measure with the extremest reluctance yet it wasnot to be opposed: It Was stated as much the best for him, onaccount of the garden: as here there is none but what Is Publicto spectators from the terrace or tops of houses. I believe theywere perfectly right though the removal was so tremendous. Thephysicians were summoned to the privy Council, to give theirOpinions, upon oath, that this step was necessary. Inexpressible was the alarm of everyone, lest the king, if herecovered, should bear a lasting resentment against the authorsand promoters of this Journey. To give it, therefore, everypossible sanction it was decreed that he should be seen, both bythe chancellor and Mr. Pitt. The chancellor went in to his presence with a tremor such as, before, he had been only accustomed to inspire; and when he cameout, he was so extremely affected by the state in which he Page 264 saw his royal master and patron that the tears ran down hischeeks, and his feet had difficulty to support him. Mr. Pitt wasmore composed, but expressed his grief with so much respect andattachment, that it added new weight to the universal admirationwith which he is here beheld. All these circumstances, with various others, of equal sadnesswhich I must not relate, came to my knowledge from Sir Lucas, Mr. De Luc, and my noon attendance upon her majesty, who wascompelled to dress for her audience of the chancellor. And, altogether, with the horror of the next day's removal, an([ thegloom of the ensuing Kew residence, I was so powerfullydepressed, that when Mr. Fairly came in the evening, not all myearnestness to support my firmness could re-animate me, and Igave him a most solemn reception, and made the tea directly, andalmost in silence. He endeavoured, at first, to revive me by enlivening discourse, but finding that fail, he had recourse to more serious means. Hebegan his former favourite topic-the miseries of life-theinherent miseries, he thinks them, to which we are so universallyborn and bred, that it was as much consonant with our reason toexpect as with our duty to support them. I heard him with that respect his subject and his character alikemerited; but I could not answer--my heart was sunk--my spiritswere all exhausted: I knew not what to expect next, nor how Imight be enabled to wade through the dreadful winter. . . . He had not, I saw, one ray of hope to offer me of better times, yet he recommended me to cheer myself; but not by more sanguineexpectations--simply and solely by religion. To submit, he said, to pray and to submit, were all we had to do. . . . The voice of the Prince of Wales, in the passage, carried himaway. They remained together, in deep conference, all the restof the evening, consulting upon measures for facilitating theking's removal, and obtaining his consent. I went very late to the queen, and found her in deep sorrow butnothing confidential passed: I found her not alone, nor alone didI leave her. But I knew what was passing in her mind--theremoving the king!-Its difficulty and danger at present, and thedread of his permanent indignation hereafter. Page 265 THE REMOVAL To KEW. Nov. 29. -Shall I ever forget the varied emotions of this dreadfulday! I rose with the heaviest of hearts, and found my poor royalmistress in the deepest dejection: she told me now of ourintended expedition to Kew. Lady Elizabeth hastened away todress, and I was alone with her for some time. Her mind, shesaid, quite misgave her about Kew: the king's dislike wasterrible to think of, and she could not foresee in what it mightend. She would have resisted the measure herself, hut that shehad determined not to have upon her own mind any opposition tothe opinion of the physicians. The account of the night was still more and more discouraging: itwas related to me by one of the pages, Mr. Brawan; and though alittle I softened or omitted particulars, I yet most sorrowfullyconveyed it to the queen. Terrible was the morning!--uninterruptedly terrible! all spent inhasty packing up, preparing for we knew not what, nor for howlong, nor with what circumstances, nor scarcely with what view!We seemed preparing for captivity, without having committed anyoffence; and for banishment, without the least conjecture when wemight be recalled from it. The poor queen was to get off in private: the plan settled, between the princes and the physicians, was, that her majesty andthe princesses should go away quietly, and then that the kingshould be told that they were gone, which was the sole methodthey could devise to prevail with him to follow. He was then tobe allured by a promise of seeing them at Kew again, as they knewhe would doubt their assertion, he was to go through the roomsand examine the house himself. I believe it was about ten o'clock when her majesty departeddrowned in tears, she glided along the passage, and got softlyinto her carriage, with two weeping princesses, and LadyCourtown, who was to be her lady-in-waiting during this dreadfulresidence. Then followed the third princess, With Lady CharlotteFinch. They went off without any state or parade, and a moremelancholy Scene cannot be imagined. There was not a dry eye inthe house. The footmen, the house-maids, the porter, thesentinels--all cried even bitterly as they looked on. The three younger princesses were to wait till the event wasknown. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy had theirroyal highnesses in charge, Page 266 It was settled the king was to be attended by three of hisgentlemen, in the carriage, and to be followed by the physicians, and preceded by his pages. But all were to depart on his arrivalat Kew, except his own equerry-in-waiting. It Was not verypleasant to these gentlemen to attend his majesty at such a time, and upon such a plan, so adverse to his inclination, without anypower of assistance : however, they would rather have died thanrefused, and it was certain the king would no other way travelbut by compulsion, which no human being dared even mention. Miss Planta and I were to go as soon as the packages could beready, with some of the queen's things. Mrs. Schwellenberg wasto remain behind, for one day, in order to make arrangementsabout the jewels. In what a confusion was the house! Princes, equerries, physicians, pages--all conferring, whispering, plotting, andcaballing, how to induce the king to set off! At length we found an opportunity to glide through the passage tothe coach; Miss Planta and myself, with her maid and Goter. Butthe heaviness of heart with which we began this journey, and thedreadful prognostics of the duration of misery to which it ledus--who can tell? We were almost wholly silent all the way. When we arrived atKew, we found the suspense with which the king was awaited trulyterrible. Her majesty had determined to return to Windsor atnight, if he came not. We were all to forbear unpacking in themean while. The house was all now regulated by express order of the Prince ofWales, who rode over first, and arranged all the apartments, andwrit, with chalk, the names of the destined inhabitants on eachdoor. My own room he had given to Lady Courtown ; and for me, hehad fixed on one immediately adjoining to Mrs. Schwellenberg's; avery pleasant room, looking into the garden, but by everybodyavoided, because the partition is so thin of the next apartment, that not a word can be spoken in either that is not heard inboth. A MYSTERIOUS VISITOR. While I was surveying this new habitation, the princess royalcame into it, and, with a cheered countenance, told me that thequeen had just received intelligence that the king was ratherbetter, and would come directly, and therefore I was Page 267, commissioned to issue orders to Columb to keep out of sight, andto see that none of the servants were in the way when the kingpassed. Eagerly, and enlivened, downstairs I hastened, to speak toColumb. I flew to the parlour to ring the bell for him, as In mynew room I had no bell for either man or maid; but judge mysurprise, when, upon opening the door, and almost rushing in, Iperceived a Windsor uniform! I was retreating with equal haste, when the figure before me started, in so theatric an attitude ofastonishment, that it forced me to look again. The arms werethen wide opened, while the figure fell back, in tragic paces. Much at a loss, and unable to distinguish the face, I was againretiring, when the figure advanced, but in such measured steps asmight have suited a march upon a stage. I now suspected it wasMr. Fairly; yet so unlikely I thought it, I could not believe itwithout speech. "Surely, " I cried, " it is not--it is not--" Istopped, afraid to make a mistake. With arms yet more sublimed, he only advanced, in silence anddumb heroics. I now ventured to look more steadily at the face, and then to exclaim-" "Is it Mr. Fairly?" The laugh now betrayed him: he could hardly believe I had reallynot known him. I explained that my very little expectation ofseeing him at Kew had assisted my near-sightedness to perplex me. But I was glad to see him so sportive, which I found was Owing tothe good spirits of bringing good news; he had mounted his horseas soon as he had heard the king had consented to the journey, and he had galloped to Kew, to acquaint her majesty with thewelcome tidings. I rang and gave my orders to Columb and he then begged me not tohurry away, and to give him leave to wait, in this parlour, theking's arrival. He then explained to me the whole of theintended proceedings and arrangements, with details innumerableand most interesting. He meant to go almost immediately into the country--all wassettled with the queen. I told him I was most cordially glad hisrecruit was so near at hand. "I shall, however, " he said, "be in town a few days longer, andcome hither constantly to pay you all a little visit. " Miss Planta then appeared. A more general conversation now tookplace, though in its course Mr. Fairly had the malice to give mea start I little expected from him. We were talk- Page 268 ing of our poor king, and wondering at the delay of his arrival, when Mr. Fairly said, "The king now, Miss Planta, mentionseverybody and everything that he knows or has heard mentioned inhis whole life. Pray does he know any Of your secrets? he'llsurely tell them if he does!" "So I hear, " cried she, "but I'm sure he can't tell anything ofMe! But I wonder what he says of everybody?" "Why, everything, " cried he. "Have you not heard of yourself?" "Dear, no! Dear me, Mr. Fairly!" "And, dear Miss Planta! why should not you have your share? Haveyou not heard he spares nobody?" "Yes, I have; but I can't think what he says of them!" Fearful of anything more, I arose and looked at the Window to seeif any sign of approach appeared, but he dropped the subjectwithout coming any nearer, and Miss Planta dropped it too. I believe he wished to discover if she had heard of his learnedladies! THE KING's ARRIVAL. Dinner went on, and still no king. We now began to grow veryanxious, when Miss Planta exclaimed that she thought she heard acarriage. We all listened. "I hope!" I cried. "I see you do!"cried he, "you have a very face of hope at this moment!"--and itwas not disappointed. The sound came nearer, and presently acarriage drove into the front court. I could see nothing, it wasso dark; but I presently heard the much-respected voice of thedear unhappy king, speaking rapidly to the porter, as he alightedfrom the coach. Mr. Fairly flew instantly upstairs, to acquaintthe queen with the welcome tidings. The poor king had been prevailed upon to quit Windsor with theutmost difficulty: he was accompanied by General Harcourt, hisaide-de-camp, and Colonels Goldsworthy and Wellbred--no one else! He had passed all the rest with apparent composure, to come tohis carriage, for they lined the passage, eager to see him oncemore! and almost all Windsor was collected round the rails, etc. To witness the mournful spectacle of his departure, which leftthem in the deepest despondence, with scarce a ray of hope everto see him again. Page 269 The bribery, however, which brought, was denied him!--he was byno means to see the queen When I went to her at night, she was all graciousness, and keptme till very late. I had not seen her alone so long, except fora few minutes in the morning, that I had a thousand things Iwished to say to her. You may be sure they were all, as far asthey went, consolatory. Princess Augusta had a small tent-bed put up in the queen'sbed-chamber: I called her royal highness when the queen dismissedme. She undressed in an adjoining apartment. THE ARRANGEMENTS AT KEW PALACE. I must now tell you how the house is disposed. The whole of theground-floor that looks towards the 'garden is appropriated tothe king, though he is not indulged with its range. In the sidewing is a room for the physicians, destined to their consultations; adjoining to that is the equerry's dining-room. Mrs. Schwellenberg's parlours, which are in the front of thehouse, one for dining, the other for coffee and tea, are stillallowed us. The other front rooms below are for the pages todine, and the rest of the more detached buildings are for theservants of various sorts. All the rooms immediately over those which are actually occupiedby the king are locked up; her majesty relinquishes them, that hemay never be tantalized by footsteps overhead. She has retainedonly the bed-room, the drawing-room, which joins to it, and thegallery, in which she eats. Beyond this gallery are theapartments of the three elder princesses, in one . Of which roomsMiss Planta sleeps. There is nothing more on the first floor. On the second a very large room for Mrs. Schwellenberg, and avery pleasant one for myself, are over the queen's rooms. Farther on are three bed-rooms, one for the surgeon or apothecaryin waiting, the next for the equerry, and the third, lately mine, for the queen's lady--all written thus with chalk by the prince. Then follows a very long dark passage, with little bed-rooms oneach side, for the maids, and one of the pages. These look likeso many little cells of a convent. Mrs. Sandys has a room nearer the queen's, and Goter has onenearer to mine. At the end of this passage there is a largerroom, formerly appropriated to Mr. De Luc, but now Page 270 chalked "The physicians'. " One physician, one equerry, and onesurgeon or apothecary, are regularly to sleep in the house. Thisis the general arrangement. The prince very properly has also ordered that one of hismajesty's grooms of' the bedchamber should be in constantwaiting; he is to reside in the prince's house, over the way, which is also fitting up for some others. This gentleman is toreceive all inquiries about the king's health. The sameregulation had taken place at Windsor, in the Castle, where thegentlemen waited in turn. Though, as the physicians send theiraccount to St. James's, this is now become an almost uselessceremony, for everybody goes thither to read the bulletin. The three young princesses are to be in a house belonging to theking on Kew green, commonly called Princess Elizabeth's, as herroyal highness has long inhabited it in her illness. There willlodge Miss Goldsworthy, Mlle. Montmoulin, and Miss Gomme. LadyCharlotte Finch is to be at the Prince of Wales's. I could not sleep all night----I thought I heard the poor king. He was under the same range of apartments, though far distant, but his indignant disappointment haunted me. The queen, too, wasvery angry at having promises made in her name which could not be kept. What a day altogether was this! A REGENCY HINTED AT. Sunday, Nov. 30. -Here, in all its dread colours, dark as itsdarkest prognostics, began the Kew campaign. I went to my poorqueen at seven o'clock: the Princess Augusta arose and went awayto dress, and I received her majesty's commands to go down forinquiries. She had herself passed a wretched night, and alreadylamented leaving Windsor. I waited very long in the cold dark passages below, before Icould find any one of whom to ask intelligence. The parlourswere without fires, and washing. I gave directions afterwards, to have a fire in one of them by seven o'clock every morning. At length I procured the speech of one of the pages, and heardthat the night had been the most violently bad of any yetpassed!--and no wonder! I hardly knew how to creep upstairs, frozen both within andwithout, to tell such news; but it was not received as ifunexpected, and I omitted whatever was not essential to be known. Page 271 Afterwards arrived Mrs: Schwellenberg, so oppressed between her spasms and the house's horrors, that the oppressionshe inflicted ought perhaps to be pardoned. It was, however, difficult enough to bear! Harshness, tyranny, dissension, andeven insult, seemed personified. I cut short details upon thissubject-they would but make you sick. . . . My dear Miss Cambridge sent to me immediately. I sawshe had a secret hope she might come and sit with me now and thenin this confinement. It would have been my greatest possiblesolace in this dreary abode: but I hastened to acquaint her ofthe absolute seclusion, and even to beg she would not send herservant to the house - for I found it was much desired to keepoff all who might carry away any intelligence. She is ever most reasonable, and never thenceforward hinted uponthe subject. But she wrote continually long letters, and filledwith news and anecdotes of much interest, relating to anythingshe could gather of "out-house proceedings, " which now becamevery important--the length of the malady threatening a regency!--a Word which I have not yet been able to articulate. MR. FAIRLY'S KIND OFFICES. Kew, Monday, Dec. 1. -Mournful was the opening of the month! Myaccount of the night from Gezewell, the page, was very alarming, and my poor royal mistress began to sink more than I had ever yetseen. No wonder; the length of the malady so uncertain, the steps which seemed now requisite so shocking: for new advice, and such as suited only disorders that physicians in generalrelinquish, was now proposed, and compliance or refusal werealmost equally tremendous. In sadness I returned from her, and, moping and unoccupied, I waswalking up and down my room, when Columb came to say Mr. Fairlydesired to know if I could see him. Certainly, I said, I would come to him in the parlour. Hewas not at all well, nor did he seem at all comfortable. Hehad undertaken, by his own desire, to purchase small carpets forthe princesses, for the house is in a state of cold anddiscomfort past all imagination. It has never been a winterresidence, and there was nothing prepared for its becoming one. He could not, he told me, look at the rooms of their royalhighnesses without shuddering for them; and he longed, he said, to cover all the naked, cold boards, to render them Page 272 more habitable. He had obtained permission to execute this as acommission: for so miserable is the house at present that nogeneral orders to the proper people are either given Or thoughtabout; and every one is so absorbed in the general calamity, thatthey would individually sooner perish than offer up complaint orpetition. I Should never end were I to explain the reasons thereare for both. What he must next, he said, effect, was supplying them withsand-bags for windows and doors, which he intended to fill and toplace himself. The wind which blew in upon those lovelyprincesses, he declared, was enough to destroy them. When he had informed me of these kind offices, he began aninquiry into how I was lodged. Well enough, I said; but he wouldnot accept so general an answer. He insisted upon knowing whatwas my furniture, and in particular if I had any carpet; and whenI owned I had none, he smiled, and said he would bring six, though his commission only extended to three. He did not at all like the parlour, which, indeed, is wretchedlycold and miserable: he wished to bring it a carpet, and new fit it up with warm winter accommodations. He reminded me ofmy dearest Fredy, when she brought me a decanter of barley-waterand a bright tin saucepan, under her hoop. I Could not tell himthat history in detail, but I rewarded his good-nature by hintingat the resemblance it bore, in its active zeal, to my sweet Mrs. Locke. . . . The queen afterwards presented me with a very pretty little newcarpet; only a bed-side slip, but very warm. She knew not howmuch I was acquainted with its history, but I found she hadsettled for them all six. She gave another to Mrs. Schwellenberg. MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S PARLOUR. Dec. 3. -Worse again to-day was the poor king: the little fairgleam, how soon did it pass away! I was beginning to grow ill myself, from the added fatigue ofdisturbance in the night, unavoidably occasioned by theneighbourhood to an invalid who summoned her maids at all hours;and my royal mistress issued orders for a removal to take place. My new apartment is at the end of the long dark passagementioned, with bed-room cells on each side it. It is a Page 273 very comfortable room, carpeted all over, with one windowlooking- to the front of the house and two into a court-yard. Itis the most distant from the queen, but in all other respects isvery desirable. I must now relate briefly a new piece of cruelty. I happened tomention to la première présidente my waiting for a page to bringthe morning accounts. "And where do you wait?" "In the parlour, ma'am. " "In my parlour? Oh, ver well! I will see to that!" "There is no other place, ma'am, but the cold passages, which, atthat time in the morning, are commonly wet as well as dark. " "O, ver well! When everybody goes to my room I might keep aninn--what you call hotel. " All good humour now again vanished; and this morning, when I mademy seven o'clock inquiry, I found the parlour doors both locked! I returned so shivering to my queen, that she demanded the cause, which I simply related; foreseeing inevitable destruction fromcontinuing to run such a hazard. She instantly protested thereshould be a new arrangement. Dec. 4. -No opportunity offered yesterday for my better security, and therefore I was again exposed this morning to the cold darkdamp of the miserable passage. The account was tolerable, but athreat of sore-throat accelerated the reform. It was now settled that the dining-parlour should be made overfor the officers of state who came upon business to the house, and who hitherto had waited in the hall; and the room which wasnext to Mrs. Schwellenberg's, and which had first been mine, wasnow made our salle à manger. By this means, the parlour beingtaken away for other people, and by command relinquished, Iobtained once again the freedom of entering it, to 'gather myaccount for her majesty. But the excess of ill-will awakened bymy obtaining this little privilege, which was actually necessaryto my very life, was so great, that more of personal offence andharshness could not have been shown to the most guilty ofculprits. One of the pages acquainted me his majesty was not worse, and thenight had been as usual. As usual, too, was my day sad andsolitary all the morning--not solitary but worse during dinnerand coffee. Just after it, however, came the good and sweet Mr. Smelt. Page 274 The Prince of Wales sent for him, and condescended to apologisefor the Windsor transaction, and to order he might regainadmission. How this was brought about I am not clear: I only know it isagreed by all parties that the prince has the faculty of makinghis peace, where he wishes it, with the most captivating grace Inthe world. A NEW PHYSICIAN SUMMONED. Mr. Fairly told me this evening that Dr. Willis, a physician ofLincoln, of peculiar skill and practice in intellectual maladies, had been sent for by express. The poor queen had most painfullyconcurred in a measure which seemed to fix the nature of theking's attack in the face of the world; but the necessity andstrong advice had prevailed over her repugnance. Dec. 6. -Mr. Fairly came to me, to borrow pen and ink for a fewmemorandums. Notwithstanding much haste. He could not, he said, go till he had acquainted me with the opening of Dr. Willis withhis royal patient. I told him there was nothing I more anxiouslywished to hear. He then gave me the full narration, interesting, curious, extraordinary; full of promise and hope. He is extremely pleasedboth with the doctor and his son, Dr. John, he says they arefine, lively, natural, independent characters. Sunday, Dec. 7. -Very bad Was this morning's account. LadyCharlotte Finch read prayers to the queen and princess, and LadyCourtown, and the rest for themselves. M r. Fairly wishes hermajesty would summon a chaplain, and let the house join incongregation. I think he is right, as far as the house extendsto those who are still admitted into her majesty's presence. Dec. 8. -The accounts began mending considerably, and hope brokein upon all. Dec. 9. ---All gets now into a better channel, and the dear royalinvalid gives every symptom of amendment. God be praised! Dec. 11. -To-day We have had the fairest hopes: the king took hisfirst walk in Kew garden! There have been impediments to thistrial hitherto, that have been thought insurmountable, though, infact, they were most frivolous. The walk seemed to do him good, and we are all in better Page 275 spirits about him than for this many and many a long day past. MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S OPINION OF MR. FAIRLY. Dec. 12. -This day passed in much the same manner. Late in theevening, after Mr. Smelt was gone, Mrs. Schwellenberg begantalking about Mr. Fairly, and giving free vent to all her stronginnate aversion to him. She went back to the old history of the"newseepaper, " and gave to his naming it every unheard motive ofspite, disloyalty, and calumny! three qualities which I believeequally and utterly unknown to him. He was also, she said, "veryonfeeling, for she had heard him laugh prodigious with the LadyWaldegraves, Perticleer with lady Carlisle, what you call LadyElizabeth her sister, and this in the king's illness. " And, infine, she could not bear him. Such gross injustice I could not hear quietly. I began a warmdefence, protesting I knew no one whose heart was more feelinglydevoted to the royal family, except, perhaps, Mr. Smelt; and thatas to his laughing, it must have been at something of passing andaccidental amusement, since he was grave even to melancholy, except when he exerted his spirits for the relief orentertainment of others. Equally amazed and provoked, she disdainfully asked me what Iknew of him? I made no answer. I was not quite prepared for theinterrogatory, and feared she might next inquire when and where Ihad seen him? My silence was regarded as self-conviction of error, and sheadded, "I know you can't not know him; I know he had never seenyou two year and half ago; when you came here he had not heardyour name. " "Two years and a half, " I answered coolly, "I did not regard as ashort time for forming a judgment of any one's character. " "When you don't not see them ? You have never seen him, I amsure, but once, or what you call twice. " I did not dare let this pass, it was so very wide from the truth;but calmly said I had seen him much oftener than once or twice. "And where? when have you seen him?" "Many times; and at Cheltenham constantly; but never to observein him anything but honour and goodness. " "O ver well! you don't not know him like me, you can't Page 276 not know him; he is not from your acquaintance--I know that verwell!" She presently went on by herself. "You could not know such aperson--he told me the same himself: he told me he had not neverseen you when you first came. You might see him at Cheltenham, that is true; but nothing others, I am sure. At Windsor there was no tea, not wonce, so you can't nothave seen him, only at Cheltenham. " I hardly knew whether to laugh or be frightened at this width oferror; nor, indeed, whether it was not all some artifice to drawme out, from pique, into some recital: at all events I thought itbest to say nothing, for she was too affronting to deserve to beset right. She went on to the same purpose some time, more than insinuatingthat a person such as Mr. Fairly could never let him self down tobe acquainted with me; till finding me too much offended to thinkher assertions worth answering, she started, at last, anothersubject. I then forced myself to talk much as usual. But howdid I rejoice when the clock struck ten--how wish it had beentwelve! THE KING'S VARYING CONDITION. Dec. 15. -This whole day was passed in great internal agitationthroughout the house, as the great and important business of theRegency was to be discussed to-morrow in Parliament. All is nowtoo painful and intricate for writing a word. I begin to confinemy memorandums almost wholly to my own personal proceedings. Dec. 16. -Whatsoever might pass in the House on this momentoussubject, it sat so late that no news could arrive. Sweeter andbetter news, however, was immediately at hand than any the wholesenate could transmit; the account from the pages was trulycheering. With what joy did I hasten with it to the queen, whoimmediately ordered me to be its welcome messenger to the threeprincesses. And when Mr. Smelt came to my breakfast, with whatrapture did he receive it! seizing and kissing my hand, while hiseyes ran over, and joy seemed quite to bewitch him. He flew awayin a very few minutes, to share his happiness with his faithfulpartner. After breakfast I had a long conference in the parlour with SirLucas Pepys, who justly gloried in the advancement of hisoriginal prediction; but there had been much dissension Page 277 amongst the physicians, concerning the bulletin to go to St. James's, no two agreeing in the degree of better to be announcedto the world. Dr. Willis came in while we were conversing, but instantlyretreated, to leave us undisturbed. He looks a very fine oldman. I wish to be introduced to him. Mr. Smelt and Mr. Fairlyare both quite enchanted with all the family; for another sonnow, a clergyman, Mr. Thomas Willis, has joined their forces. Dec. 17. -MY account this morning was most afflictive once more:it was given by Mr. Hawkins, and was cruelly subversive of allour rising hopes. I carried it to the queen in trembling but shebore it most mildly. What resignation is hers! Dec. 22. -With what joy did I carry, this morning, an exceedinggood account of the king to my royal mistress! It was treblywelcome. , as much might depend upon it in the resolutions of theHouse concerning the Regency, which was of to-day's discussion. Mr. Fairly took leave, for a week, he said, wishing me my health, while I expressed my own wishes for his good journey But, inlooking forward to a friendship the most permanent, saw theeligibility of rendering it the most open. I therefore went backto Mrs. Schwellenberg; and the moment I received a reproach forstaying so long, I calmly answered, "Mr. Fairly had made me avisit, to take leave before he went into the country. " Amazement was perhaps never more indignant. Mr. Fairly to takeleave of me! while not once he even called upon her! This offenceswallowed up all other comments upon the communication. I seemednot to understand it; but we had a terrible two hours and a-half. Yet to such, now, I may look forward without any mixture, anyalleviation, for evening after evening in this sad abode. N. B. My own separate adventures for this month, and year, concluded upon this day. The king went on now better, now worse, in a most fearful manner;but Sir Lucas Pepys never lost sight of hope, and the managementof Dr. Willis and his two sons was most wonderfully acute andsuccessful. Yet so much were they perplexed and tormented by theinterruptions given to their plans and methods, that they werefrequently almost tempted to resign the undertaking from angerand confusion. Page 278 DR. WILLIS AND His SON. Kew Palace, Thursday, Jan. 1, 1789. -The year opened with anaccount the most promising of our beloved king. I saw Dr, Willis, and he told me the night had been very tranquil and hesent for his son, Dr. John Willis, to give me a history of themorning. Dr. John's narration was in many parts very affecting:the dear and excellent king had been praying for his ownrestoration! Both the doctors told me that such strong symptomsof true piety had scarce ever been discernible through sodreadful a malady. How I hastened to my queen!--and with what alacrity I besoughtpermission to run next to the princesses! It was so sweet, sosoothing, to open a new year with the solace of anticipated good! Jan. 3. -I have the great pleasure, now, of a change in mymorning's historiographers; I have made acquaintance with Dr. Willis and his son, and they have desired me to summon one ofthem constantly for my information. I am extremely struck withboth these physicians. Dr. Willis is a man of ten thousand;open, holiest, dauntless, lighthearted, innocent, and highminded: I see him impressed with the most animated reverence andaffection for his royal patient; but it is wholly for hischaracter, --not a whit for his rank. Dr. John, his eldest son, is extremely handsome, and inherits, ina milder degree, all the qualities of his father; but living more in the general world, and having his fame and fortune stillto settle, he has not yet acquired the same courage, nor is he, by nature, quite so sanguine in his opinions. The manners ofboth are extremely pleasing, and they both proceed completelytheir own way, not merely unacquainted with court etiquette, butwholly, and most artlessly, unambitious to form any suchacquaintance. Jan. 11. -This morning Dr. John gave me but a bad account of thepoor king. His amendment is not progressive; it fails, and goesback, and disappoints most grievously; yet it would be nothingwere the case and its circumstances less discussed, and were expectation more reasonable. Jan. 12. -A melancholy day: news bad both at home and abroad. Athome the dear unhappy king still worse--abroad new examinationsvoted of the physicians! Good heaven! what an insult does thisseem from parliamentary power, to investigate and bring forth tothe world every circumstance Of Page 279 such a malady as is ever held sacred to secrecy in the mostprivate families! How indignant we all feel here no words cansay. LEARNING IN WOMEN. Jan. 13. -The two younger Willises, Dr. John and Mr. Thomas, cameupstairs in the afternoon, to make a visit to Mrs. Schwellenberg. I took the opportunity to decamp to my own room, where I foundMr. Fairly in waiting. In the course of conversation that followed, Mrs. Carter wasnamed: Mr. Smelt is seriously of opinion her ode is the best inour language. (301) I spoke of her very highly, for indeed Ireverence her. Learning in women was then Our theme. I rather wished to hearthan to declaim upon this subject, yet I never seek to disguisethat I think it has no recommendation of sufficient value tocompensate its evil excitement of envy and satire. He spoke with very uncommon liberality on the female powers andintellects, and protested he had never, in his commerce with theworld, been able to discern any other inferiority in their partsthan what resulted from their Pursuits -and yet, with all this, he doubted much whether he had ever seen any woman who might nothave been rather better without than with the learned languages, one only excepted. He was some time silent, and I could not but suppose he meant hiscorrespondent, Miss Fuzilier; but, with a very tender sigh, hesaid, "And she was my mother, --who neglected nothing else, whileshe cultivated Latin, and who knew it very well, and would haveknown it very superiorly, but that her brother disliked herstudying, and one day burnt all her books!" This anecdote led to one in return, from myself. I told him, briefly the history of Dr. Johnson's most kind condescension, indesiring to make me his pupil, and beginning to give me regularlessons of the Latin language, and i proceeded to the speedyconclusion--my great apprehension, -- conviction rather, --thatwhat I learnt of so great a man could never be private, and thathe himself would contemn concealment, if any Page 280 progress should be made; which to Me was sufficient motive forrelinquishing the scheme, and declining the honour, highly as Ivalued it, of obtaining Such a master--"and this, " I added, "though difficult to be done without offending, was yet the better effected, as my father himself likes andapproves all accomplishments for women better than the deadlanguages. " THE QUEEN AND MR. FAIRLY'S VISITS. Jan. 14. -I must now mention a rather singular conversation. Ihad no opportunity last night to name, as usual, my visitor; butI have done it so often, so constantly indeed, that I was notuneasy In the omission. But this morning, while her hair was dressing, my royal Mistresssuddenly said, "Did you see any body yesterday?" I could not butbe sure of her meaning, and though vexed to be anticipated in myavowal, which had but waited the departure of the wardrobe-woman, Sandys, I instantly answered, "Yes, ma'am; Mr, Smelt in themorning and Mr. Fairly in the evening. " "O! Mr. Fairly was here, then?" I was now doubly sorry she should know this only from me! He hadMentioned being just come from town, but I had concluded LadyCharlotte Finch, as usual, knew of his arrival, and had made itknown to her Majesty. A little while after, --"Did he go awayfrom you early?" she said. "No, ma'am, " I Immediately answered, "not early: he drank teawith Me, as he generally does, I believe, when he is here for thenight. " "Perhaps, " cried she after a pause, "the gentlemen below do notdrink tea. " "I cannot tell, ma'am, I never heard him say; I only know heasked me if I would give him some, and I told him yes, with greatpleasure. " Never did I feel so happy in unblushing consciousness of internalliberty as in this little catechism! However, I soon found I hadMistaken the Motive of the catechism: it was not on account ofMr. Fairly and his visit; it was all for Mrs. Schwellenberg andher no visits; for she soon dropped something of "poor Mrs. Schwellenberg" and her Miserable state, that opened her wholemeaning. Page 281 A MELANCHOLY BIRTHDAY. Sunday, Jan. 18. -The public birthday of my poor royal mistress. How sadly did she pass it; and how was I filled With sorrow forher reflections upon this its first anniversary for these lasttwenty-eight years in which the king and the nation have notunited in its celebration! All now was passed over in silenceand obscurity; all observance of the day was prohibited, bothabroad and at home. The poor king whose attention to times and dates is unremittinglyexact, knew the day, and insisted upon seeing the queen and threeof the princesses; but--it was not a good day. MR. FAIRLY ON FANS. Jan. 21. -I came to my room; and there, in my own corner, sat poorMr. Fairly, looking a little forlorn, and telling me he had beenthere near an hour. I made every apology that could mark in thestrongest manner how little I thought his patience worth suchexertion. . . . He was going to spend the next day at St. Leonard's, where he wasto meet his son; and he portrayed to me the character of Mrs. Harcourt so fairly and favourably, that her flightiness sunk awayon the rise of her good qualities. He spoke of his chapel of St. Catherine's, its emoluments, chaplain, brothers, sisters, andfull establishment. Finding I entered into nothing, he took up a fan which lay on mytable, and began playing off various imitative airs with it, exclaiming, "How thoroughly useless a toy!" "No, " I said; "on the contrary, taken as an ornament, it was themost useful ornament of any belonging to full dress, occupyingthe hands, giving the eyes something to look at, and taking awaystiffness and formality from the figure and deportment. " "Men have no fans, " cried he, "and how do they do?" "Worse, " quoth I, plumply. He laughed quite out, saying, "That's ingenuous, however; and, indeed, I must confess they are reduced, from time to time, toshift their hands from one pocket to another. " "Not, to speak of lounging about in their chairs from one side toanother. " "But the real use of a fan, " cried he, "if there is any, is itnot--to hide a particular blush that ought not to appear?" Page 282 "O, no; it Would rather make it the sooner noticed. " "Not at all; it may be done under pretence of absence--rubbingthe cheek, or nose--putting it up accidentally to the eye--in athousand ways. " He went through all these evolutions comically enough, and then, putting aside his toy, came back to graver matters. MR. FAIRLY CONTINUES HIS VISITS: THE QUEEN AGAIN REMARKS UPON THEM. Jan. 26. -In the evening Mr. Fairly came to tea. He was grave, and my reception did not make him gayer. General discourse tookplace till Mrs. Dickenson happened to be named. He knew her verywell as Miss Hamilton. Her conjugal conduct, in displaying herSuperior power over her husband, was our particular theme, tillin the midst of it he exclaimed, "How well you will be trained inby Mrs. Schwellenberg--if you come to trial!" Ah! thought I, the more I suffer through her, the less and lessdo I feel disposed to run any new and more lasting risk, But Isaid not this. I only protested I was much less her humbleservant than might be supposed. "How can that be, " cried he, "when you never contest any onepoint with her?" Not, I said, in positive wrangling, which could never answer itshorrible pain; but still I refused undue obedience when exactedwith indignity, and always hastened to retire when offended andaffronted. He took up Mrs. Smith's "Emmeline, "(302) which is just lent me bythe queen; but he found it not piquant and putting it down, begged me to choose him a Rambler. " I had a good deal ofdifficulty In my decision, as he had already seen almost all Icould particularly wish to recommend; and, when he saw me turnover leaf after leaf with some hesitation, he began a seriousreproach to me of inflexible reserve. And then away he went. I hastened immediately to Mrs. Schwellenberg; and found all in atumult. She had been, she said, alone all the evening, and wasgoing to have sent for me, but found I had my company. She sentfor Mlle. Montmoulin but she had a cold; for Miss Gomme, but shecould not come because of the snow; Page 283 for Miss Planta but she was ill with a fever, "what you callhead-ache:" she had then "sent to princess royal, who had been toher, and pitied her ver moch, for princess royal was reallysensible. " And all this was communicated with a look of accusation, and atone of menace, that might have suited an attack upon somehardened felon. . . . I made no sort of apology nor any other answer than that I hadhad the honour of Mr. Fairly's company to tea, which was always apleasure to me. I believe something like consciousness whispered her here, thatit might really be possible his society was as pleasant as I hadfound hers, for she then dropped her lamentation, and said shethanked God she wanted nobody, not one; she could always amuseherself, and was glad enough to be alone. Were it but true! I offered cards: she refused, because it was too late, though weyet remained together near two hours. If this a little disordered me, You will not think what followedwas matter of composure. While the queen's hair was rolling up, by the wardrobe woman, at night, Mrs. Schwellenberg happened toleave the room, and almost instantly her majesty, in a ratherabrupt manner, said "Is Mr. Fairly here to-night?" "Yes, ma'am. " "When did he come back?" I could not recollect. "I did not know he was here. " This thunderstruck me; that he should come again, or stay, atleast, without apprising his royal mistress, startled meinwardly, and distressed me outwardly. "I knew, indeed, " she then added, "he was here in the morning, but I understood he went away afterwards. " The idea of connivance now struck me with a real disdain, thatbrought back my courage and recollection in full force, and Ianswered, "I remember, ma'am, he told me he had rode over toRichmond park at noon, and returned here to dinner with ColonelWellbred, and in the evening he drank tea with me, and said heshould sup with General Harcourt. " All this, spoken with an openness that rather invited thanshunned further investigation, seemed to give an immediatesatisfaction ; the tone of voice_ changed to its usual com- Page 284 placency, and she inquired various things concerning the Stuartfamily, and then spoke upon more common topics. I concluded it now all over; but soon after Mrs. Sandys wentaway, and then, very unexpectedly, the queen renewed the subject. "The reason, " she said, "that I asked about Mr. Fairly was thatthe Schwellenberg sent to ask Miss Planta to come to her, becauseMr. Fairly was--no, not with her--he never goes to her. " She stopped; but I was wholly silent. I felt instantly with howlittle propriety I could undertake either to defend or to excuseMr. Fairly, whom I determined to consider as a visitor, , overwhom, having no particular influence, I could be charged with noparticular responsibility. After waiting a few minutes, -"With you, " she said, "Mr. Fairlywas and the Schwellenberg was alone. " My spirits quite panted at this moment to make a full Confessionof the usage I had endured from the person thus compassionated;but I had so frequently resolved, in moments Of cooldeliberation, not even to risk doing mischief to a favourite oldservant, that I withstood the impulse ; but the inward conflictsilenced me from saying anything else. I believe she was surprised but she added, after a long pause, "Ibelieve--he comes to you every evening when here. " "I do not know, ma'am, always, when he is here or away; but I amalways very glad to see him, for indeed his visits make all thelittle variety that--" I hastily stopped, lest she should think me discontented withthis strict confinement during this dreadful season ; and that Ican never be, when it is not accompanied by tyranny andinjustice. She immediately took up the word, but without the slightestdispleasure. "Why here there might be more variety thananywhere, from the nearness to town, except for--" " The present situation of things. " I eagerly interrupted her tosay, and went on: "Indeed, ma'am, I have scarce a wish to breakinto the present arrangement, by seeing anybody while the houseis in this state; nor have I, from last October, seen one humanbeing that does not live here, except Mr. Smelt, Mr. Fairly, andSir Lucas Pepys; and they all come upon their own calls, and notfor me. " "The only objection, " she gently answered, "to seeing anybody, isthat every one who comes carries some sort of information awaywith them. " Page 285 I assured her I was perfectly content to wait for bettertimes, Here the matter dropped ; she appeared satisfied with whatI said, and became soft and serene as before the little attack. Jan. 27. -The intelligence this morning was not very pleasant. Ihad a conference afterwards with Sir Lucas Pepys, who keeps upundiminished hope. We held our council in the physicians' room, which chanced to be empty; but before it broke up ColonelWellbred entered. It was a pleasure to me to see him, thoughsomewhat an embarrassment to hear him immediately lament that wenever met, and add that he knew not in what manner to procurehimself that pleasure. I joined in the lamentation, and itscause, which confined us all to our cells. Sir Lucas declared myconfinement menaced my health, and charged me to walk out, andtake air and exercise very sedulously, if I would avoid anillness. Colonel Wellbred instantly offered me a key of Richmond gardens, which opened into them by a nearer door than what was used incommon. I accepted his kindness, and took an hour's walk, -forthe first time since last October; ten minutes in Kew gardens areall I have spent without doors since the middle of that month. THE SEARCH FOR MR. FAIRLY. Jan. 30. -To-day my poor royal mistress received the address ofthe Lords and Commons, of condolence, etc. , upon his majesty'sillness. What a painful, but necessary ceremony! It was mostproperly presented by but few members, and those almost allchosen from the household: a great propriety. Not long after came Mr. Fairly, looking harassed. "May I, " hecried, "come in?--and-for an hour? Can you allow me entrance androom for that time?" Much Surprised, for already it was three o'clock, I assented: hethen told me he had something to copy for her majesty, which wasof the highest importance, and said he could find no quiet roomin the house but mine for such a business. I gave him everyaccommodation in my power. When he had written a few lines, heasked if I was very busy, or could help him ? Most readily Ioffered my services, and then I read to him the original, sentence by sentence, to facilitate his copying; receiving hisassurances of my "great assistance" every two lines. In themidst of this occupation, Page 286 a tap at my door made me precipitately put down the paper toreceive-lady Charlotte Finch! "Can you, " she cried, "have the goodness to tell me any thing ofMr. Fairly?" The screen had hidden him; but, gently, --though, I believe illenough pleased, --he called out himself, "Here is Mr. Fairly. " She flew up to him, crying, "O, Mr. Fairly, what a search hasthere been for you, by the queen's orders ! She has wanted youextremely, and no one knew where to find you. They have been tothe waiting-room, to the equerries', all over the garden, to theprince's house, in your own room, and could find you nowhere, andat last they thought you were gone back to town. " He calmly answered, while he still wrote on, he was sorry theyhad had so much trouble, for he had only been executing hermajesty's commands. She then hesitated a little, almost to stammering, in adding"So--at last--I said--that perhaps--you might be here!" He now raised his head from the paper, and bowing it towards me, "Yes, " he cried, "Miss Burney is so good as to give me leave, andthere is no other room in the house in Which I can be at rest. " "So I told her majesty, " answered Lady Charlotte, "though shesaid she was sure you could not be here ; but I said there wasreally no room of quiet here for any business, and so then I cameto see. " "Miss Burney, " he rejoined, "has the goodness also to help me--she has taken the trouble to read as I go on, which forwards mevery much. " Lady Charlotte stared, and I felt sorry at this confession of aconfidence she could not but think too much, and I believe hehalf repented it, for he added, "This, however, you need notperhaps mention, though I know where I trust!" He proceeded again with his writing, and she then recollected hererrand. She told him that what he was copying was to be carriedto town by Lord Aylesbury, but the queen desired to see it first. She then returned to her majesty. She soon, however, returned again. She brought the queen's seal, and leave that he might make up the packet, and give it to LordAylesbury, without showing it first to her majesty, who was justgone to dinner. With her customary good-humour Page 287 and good-breeding, she then chatted with me some time, and againdeparted. We then went to work with all our might, reading and copying. The original was extremely curious--I am sorry I must make itequally secret. Miss BURNEY's ALARM ON BEING CHASED BY THE KING. Kew Palace, Monday, Feb. 2. -What an adventure had I this morning!one that has occasioned me the severest personal terror I everexperienced in my life. Sir Lucas Pepys still persisting that exercise and air wereabsolutely necessary to save me from illness, I have continued mywalks, varying my gardens from Richmond to Kew, according to theaccounts I received of the movements of the king. For this I hadher majesty's permission, on the representation of Sir Lucas. This morning, when I received my intelligence of the king fromDr. John Willis, I begged to know where I might walk in safety?"In Kew gardens, " he said, "as the king would be in Richmond. " "Should any unfortunate circumstance, " I cried, "at any time, occasion my being seen by his majesty, do not mention my name, but let me run off without call or notice. " This he promised. Everybody, indeed, is ordered to keep out of sight. Taking, therefore, the time I had most at command, I strolled into thegardens. I had proceeded, in my quick way, nearly half theround, when I suddenly perceived, through some trees, two orthree figures. Relying on the instructions of Dr. John, Iconcluded them to be workmen and gardeners; yet tried to looksharp, and in so doing, as they were less shaded, I thought I sawthe person of his majesty! Alarmed past all possible expression, I waited not to know more, but turning back, ran off with all my might. But what was myterror to hear myself pursued!--to hear the voice of the kinghimself loudly and hoarsely calling after me, "MISS Burney! MissBurney! I protest I was ready to die. I knew not in what state he mightbe at the time; I only knew the orders to keep out of his waywere universal; that the queen would highly disapprove anyunauthorized meeting, and that the very action of my running awaymight deeply, in his present irritable state, offend him. Nevertheless, on I ran, too terrified to stop, and Page 288 In search Of some short passage, for the g)arden is full oflabyrinths, by which I might escape. The steps still pursued me, and Still the poor hoarse and alteredvoice rang in my ears:--more and more footsteps soundedfrightfully behind me, --the attendants all running to catch theireager master, and the voices of the two Doctor Willises loudlyexhorting him not to heat himself so unmercifully. Heavens, how I ran! I do not think I should have felt the hotlava from Vesuvius--at least not the hot cinders--hadd I so runduring its eruption. My feet were not sensible that they eventouched the ground. Soon after, I heard other voices, shriller, though less nervous, call out "Stop! stop! stop!" I could by no means consent: I knew not what was purposed, but Irecollected fully my agreement with Dr. John that very morning, that I should decamp if Surprised, and not b named. My own fearsand repugnance, also, after a flight and disobedience like this, were doubled in the thought of not escaping; I knew not to what I might be exposed, should the malady be then high, and take the turn of resentment. Still, therefore, on I flew; and such was my speed, so almost incredibleto relate or recollect, that I fairly believe no one of the wholeparty could have overtaken me, if these words, from one of theattendants, had not reached me, "Doctor Willis begs you to stop!" "I cannot! I cannot!" I answered, still flying on, when he calledout, "You must, ma'am; it hurts the king to run. " Then, indeed, I stopped--in a state of fear really amounting toagony. I turned round, I saw the two doctors had got the kingbetween them, and three attendants of Dr. Willis's were hoveringabout. They all slackened their pace, as they saw me standstill; but such was the excess of my alarm, that I was whollyinsensible to the effects of a race which, at any other time, would have required an hour's recruit. As they approached, some little presence of mind happily came tomy command it occurred to me that, to appease the wrath of myflight, I must now show some confidence: I therefore faced themas undauntedly as I was able, only charging the nearest of theattendants to stand by my side. When they were within a few yards of me, the king called out, "Why did you run away?" Shocked at a question impossible to answer, yet a little Page 289 assured by the mild tone of his voice, I instantly forced myselfforward, to meet him, though the internal sensation whichsatisfied me this was a step the most proper, to appease hissuspicions and displeasure, was so violently combated by thetremor of my nerves, that I fairly think I may reckon it thegreatest effort of personal courage-I have ever made. A ROYAL SALUTE AND ROYAL CONFIDENCES. The effort answered : I looked up, and met all his wontedbenignity of countenance, though something still of wildness inhis eyes. Think, however, of my surprise, to feel him put bothhis hands round my two shoulders, and then kiss my cheek ! * Iwonder I did not really sink, so exquisite was my affright when Isaw him spread out his arms! Involuntarily, I concluded he meantto crush me: but the Willises, who have never seen him till thisfatal illness, not knowing how very extraordinary an action thiswas from him, simply smiled and looked pleased, supposing, perhaps, it was his customary salutation! I believe, however, it was but the joy of a heart unbridled, now, by the forms and proprieties of established custom and soberreason. To see any of his household thus by accident, seemedsuch a near approach to liberty and recovery, that who can wonderit should serve rather to elate than lessen what yet remains ofhis disorder! He now spoke in such terms of his pleasure in seeing me, that Isoon lost the whole of my terror; astonishment to find him sonearly well, and gratification to see him so pleased, removedevery uneasy feeling, and the joy that succeeded, in myconviction of his recovery, made me ready to throw myself at hisfeet to express it. What conversation followed! When he saw me fearless, he grew moreand more alive, and made me walk close by his side, away from theattendants, and even the Willises themselves, who, to indulgehim, retreated. I own myself not completely composed, but alarmI could entertain no more. Everything that came uppermost in his mind he mentioned; heseemed to have just such remains of his flightiness as heated hisimagination without deranging his reason, and robbed him of allcontrol over his speech, though nearly in his perfect state Ofmind as to his opinions. What did he not say !--He opened Page 290 his whole heart to me, --expounded all his sentiments, andacquainted me with all his intentions. The heads of his discourse I must give you briefly, as I am sureyou will be highly curious to hear them, and as no accident canrender of much consequence what a man says in such a state ofphysical intoxication. He assured me he was quite well--as wellas he had ever been in his life ; and then inquired how I did, and how I went on? and whether I was more comfortable? If thesequestions, in their implications, surprised me, imagine how thatsurprise must increase when he proceeded to explain them! Heasked after the coadjutrix, laughing, and saying "Never mindher!--don't be oppressed--I am your friend! don't let her castyou down!--I know you have a hard time of it--but don't mindher!" Almost thunderstruck with astonishment, I merely curtsied to hiskind "I am your friend, " and said nothing. Then presently headded, "Stick to your father--stick to your own family--let thembe your objects. " How readily I assented! Again he repeated all I have just written, nearly in the samewords, but ended it more seriously: He suddenly stopped, and heldme to stop too, and putting his hand on his breast. In the mostsolemn manner, he gravely and slowly said, "I will protect you!--I promise you that--and therefore depend upon me!" I thanked him ; and the Willises, thinking him rather tooelevated, came to propose my walking on. "No, no, no!" he cried, a hundred times in a breath and their good humour prevailed, andthey let him again walk on with his new Companion. He then gave me a history of his pages, animating almost into arage, as he related his subjects of displeasure with them, particularly with Mr. Ernst, who he told me had been brought upby himself. I hope his ideas upon these men are the result ofthe mistakes of his malady. Then he asked me some questions that very greatly &stressed me, relating to information given him in his illness, from variousmotives, but which he suspected to be false, and which I knew hehad reason to suspect: yet was It most dangerous to set anythingright, as I was not aware what might be the views of their havingbeen stated wrong. I was as discreet as I knew how to be, and Ihope I did no mischief; but this was the worst part of thedialogue. Page 291 He next talked to me a great deal of my dear father, andmade a thousand inquiries concerning his "History of Music. " This brought him to his favourite theme, Handel; and he told meinnumerable anecdotes of him, and particularly that celebratedtale of Handel's saying of himself, when a boy, "While that boylives, my music will never want a protector. " And this, he said, I might relate to my father. Then he ran over most of his oratorios, attempting to sing the subjects of severalairs and choruses, but so dreadfully hoarse that the sound wasterrible. Dr. Willis, quite alarmed at this exertion, feared he would dohimself harm, and again proposed a separation. " "No! no! no!"he exclaimed, "not yet; I have something I must just mentionfirst. " Dr. Willis, delighted to comply, even when uneasy at compliance, again gave way. The good king then greatly affected me. Hebegan upon my revered old friend, Mrs. Delany and he spoke of herwith such warmth--such kindness! "She was my friend!" he cried, "and I loved her as a friend! I have made a memorandum when Ilost her--I will show it YOU. " He pulled out a pocket-book, and rummaged some time, but to nopurpose. The tears stood in his eyes--he wiped them, and Dr. Willis again became very anxious. "Come, sir, " he cried, "now doyou come in and let the lady go on her walk, -come, now you havetalked a long while, -so we'll go in, --if your majesty pleases. " "No, no!" he cried, "I want to ask her a few questions ; --I havelived so long out of the world, I know nothing!" This touched me to the heart. We walked on together, and heinquired after various persons, particularly Mrs. Boscawen, because she was Mrs. Delany's friend! Then, for the same reason, after Mr. Frederick Montagu, (303) of whom he kindly said, "Iknow he has a great regard for me, for all he joined theopposition. " Lord Grey de Wilton, Sir Watkin Wynn, the Duke ofBeaufort, and various others, followed. He then told me he wasvery much dissatisfied with several of his state officers, andmeant to form an entire new establishment. He took a paper outof his pocket-book, and showed me his new list. Page 292 This was the wildest thing that passed ; and Dr. John Willis nowseriously urged our separating; but he would not consent he hadonly three more words to say, he declared, and again heconquered. He now spoke of my father, with still more kindness, and told mehe ought to have had the post of master of the band, and not thatlittle poor musician Parsons, who was not fit for it: "But LordSalisbury, " he cried, "used your father vary ill in thatbusiness, and so he did me! However, I have dashed out his name, and I shall put your father's in, --as soon as I get loose again!" This again--how affecting was this! "And what, " cried he, "has your father got, at last? nothing butthat poor thing at Chelsea?(304) O fie! fie! fie! But never mind! I will take care of him. I will do it myself!" Then presentlyhe added, "As to Lord Salisbury, he is out already, as thismemorandum will Show you, and so are many more. I shall be muchbetter served and when once I get away, I shall rule with a rodof iron!" This was very unlike himself, and startled the two good doctors, who could not bear to cross him, and were exulting at seeing hisgreat amendment, but yet grew quite uneasy at his earnestness andvolubility. Finding we now must part, he stopped to take leave, and renewed again his charges about the coadjutrix. "Never mindher!" he cried, "depend upon me! I will be your friend as long asI live--I here pledge myself to be your friend!" And then hesaluted me again just as at the meeting, and suffered me to goon. What a scene! how variously was I affected by it! but, upon thewhole, how inexpressibly thankful to see him so nearly himself--so little removed from recovery! CURIOSITY REGARDING Miss BURNEY'S MEETING WITH THE KING. I went very soon after to the queen to whom I was most eager toavow the meeting, and how little I could help it. Herastonishment, and her earnestness to hear every particular, werevery great. I told her almost all. Some few things relating tothe distressing questions I could not repeat nor Page 293 many things said of Mrs. Schwellenberg, which would much, veryneedlessly, have hurt her. This interview, and the circumstances belonging to it, excitedgeneral curiosity, and all the house watched for opportunities tobeg a relation of it. How delighted was I to tell them all myhappy prognostics! But the first to hasten to hear of it was Mr. Smelt; eager andenchanted was the countenance and attention of that truly loyaland most affectionate adherent to his old master. He wished meto see Lady Harcourt and the general, and to make them a briefrelation of this extraordinary rencounter but for that I had noteffort enough left. I did what I Could, however, to gratify the curiosity of ColonelWellbred, which I never saw equally excited. I was passing himon the stairs, and he followed me, to say he had heard what hadhappened--I imagine from the Willises. I told him, with thehighest satisfaction, the general effect produced upon my mind bythe accident, that the king seemed so nearly, himself, thatpatience itself could have but little longer trial. He wanted tohear more particulars: I fancy the Willises had vaguely relatedsome: "Did he not, " he cried, "promise to do something for you?" I only laughed, and answered, "O yes! if you want any thing, apply to me;--now is my time!" Feb. 3. --I had the great happiness to be assured this morning, byboth the Dr. Willises, that his majesty was by no means the worsefor our long conference. Those good men are inexpressibly happythemselves in the delightful conviction given me, and by mespread about, of the near recovery of their royal patient. While I was dressing came Mr. Fairly: I could not admit him, buthe said he would try again in the evening. I heard by the toneof his voice a peculiar eagerness, and doubted not he wasapprized of my adventure. He came early, before I could leave my fair companion, and senton Goter. I found him reading a new pamphlet of Horne Tooke:"How long, " he cried, "it is since I have been here!" I was not flippantly disposed, or I would have said I had thoughtthe time he spent away always short, by his avowed eagerness todecamp. He made so many inquiries of how I had gone on and what I haddone since I saw him, that I was soon satisfied he was Page 294 not uninformed of yesterday's transaction. I told him so; hecould not deny it, but wished to hear the whole from myself. I most readily complied. He listened with the most eager, nay, anxious attention, scarce breathing: he repeatedly ex_ claimed, when I had finished, "How I wish I had been there! how I shouldhave liked to have seen you!" I assured him he would not wish that, if he knew the terror I hadsuffered. He was quite elated with the charges against Cerberictyranny, and expressed himself gratified by the promises offavour and protection. THE REGENCY BILL. Feb. 6. -These last three days have been spent very unpleasantlyindeed: all goes hardly and difficultly with my poor royalmistress. Yet his majesty is now, thank heaven, so much better, that hegenerally sees his gentlemen in some part of the evening; and Mr. Fairly, having no particular taste for being kept in waitingwhole hours for this satisfaction of a few minutes, yet findinghimself, if in the house, indispensably required to attend withthe rest, has changed his Kew visits from nights to mornings. He brought me the "Regency Bill!"--I shuddered to hear it named. It was just printed, and he read it to me, with comments andexplanations, which took up all our time, and in a manner, atpresent, the most deeply interesting in which it could beoccupied. 'Tis indeed a dread event!--and how it may terminate who can say?My poor royal mistress is much disturbed. Her daughters behavelike angels - they seem content to reside in this gloomy solitudefor ever, if it prove of comfort to their mother, or mark theirduteous affection for their father. INFINITELY LICENTIOUS! Feb. 9. -I now walk on the road-side, along the park-wall, everyfair morning, as I shall venture no more into either of thegardens. In returning this morning, I was overtaken by Mr. Fairly, who rode up to me, and, dismounting, gave his horse tohis groom, to walk on with me. About two hours after I was, however, surprised by a visit fromhim in my own room, He came, he said, only to ask Page 295 me a second time how I did, as he should be here now less andless, the king's amendment rendering his services of smaller andsmaller importance. He brought me a new political parody of Pope's "Eloisa toAbelard, " from Mr. Eden to Lord Hawkesbury. It is a most daring, though very clever imitation. It introduces many of the presenthousehold. Mrs. Schwellenberg is now in eternal abuse from allthese scribblers; Lady Harcourt, and many others, less notoriousto their attacks, are here brought forward. How infinitelylicentious! MISS BURNEY IS TAXED WITH VISITING GENTLEMEN. Feb. 10. -The amendment of the king is progressive, and withoutany reasonable fear, though not without some few drawbacks. TheWillis family were surely sent by heaven to restore peace, andhealth, and prosperity to this miserable house Lady Charlotte Finch called upon me two days ago, almostpurposely, to inquire concerning the report of my young friend'smarriage; and she made me promise to acquaint her when I receivedany further news: at noon, therefore, I went to her apartment atthe Prince of Wales's, with this information. Mr. Fairly, Iknew, was with the equerries in our lodge. Lady Charlotte hadthe Duchess of Beaufort and all the Fieldings with her, andtherefore I only left a message, by no means, feeling spirits forencountering any stranger. At noon, when I attended her majesty, she inquired if I hadwalked?--Yes. --Where?--In Richmond gardens. --And nowhere else?--No. She looked thoughtful, --and presently I recollected myintended visit to Lady Charlotte, and mentioned it. She clearedup, and said, "O!--you. Went to Lady Charlotte?" "Yes, ma'am, " I answered, thinking her very absent, --which Ithought with sorrow, as that is so small a part of her character, that I know not I ever saw any symptom of it before. Nor, infact, as I found afterwards, did I see it now. It was soonexplained. Miss Gomme, Mlle. Montmoulin, and Miss Planta, alldined with Mrs. Schwellenberg to-day. The moment I joined them, Mrs. Schwellenberg called out, --"Pray, Miss Berner, for what visit you the gentlemen?" "Me?" "Yes, you, --and for what, I say?" Page 296 Amazed, I declared I did not know what she meant. "O, " cried she, scoffingly, "that won't not do!--we all sawyou, --princess royal the same, --so don't not say that. " I stared, -and Miss Gomme burst out in laughter, and then Mrs. Schwellenberg added, --"For what go you over to the Prince ofWales his house?--nobody lives there but the gentlemen, --nobodyothers. " I laughed too, now, and told her the fact. "O, " cried she, "Lady Charlotte!--ver true. I had forgot LadyCharlotte!" "O, very well, imagine, " cried I, --"so only the gentlemen wereremembered!" I then found this had been related to the queen; and Mlle. Montmoulin said she supposed the visit had been to GeneralGordon!--He is the groom now in waiting. Then followed an open raillery from Mlle. Montmoulin of Mr. Fairly's visits; but I stood it very well, assuring her I shouldnever seek to get rid of my two prison-visitors, Mr. Smelt andMr. Fairly, till I Could replace them by better, or go abroad forothers IMPROVEMENT IN THE KING'S, HEALTH. Feb. 14. -The king is infinitely better. O that there werepatience in the land ! and this Regency Bill postponed Two of theprincesses regularly, and in turn, attend their royal mother inher evening visits to the king. Some of those who stay behindnow and then spend the time in Mrs. Schwellenberg's room. Theyall long for their turn of going to the king, and count the hourstill it returns. Their dutiful affection is truly beautiful tobehold. This evening the Princesses Elizabeth and Mary came into Mrs. Schwellenberg's room while I was yet there. They sang songs intwo parts all the evening, and vary prettily in point of voice. Their good humour, however, and inherent condescension andsweetness of manners, would make a much worse performancepleasing. Feb. 16-All well, and the king is preparing for an interview withthe chancellor Dr. Willis now confides in me all his schemes andnotions; we are growing the best of friends and his son Dr. Johnis nearly as trusty. Excellent people! how I love and honourthem all! I had a visit at noon from Mr. Fairly. He hastened to tell Page 297 me the joyful news that the king and queen were just gone out, towalk in Richmond gardens, arm in arm. --what a delight to all thehouse! When I came to tea, I found Mr. Fairly waiting in my room. Hehad left Kew for Richmond park, but only dined there. We hadmuch discussion of state business. The king is SO much himself, that he is soon to be informed of the general situation of thekingdom. O what an information!--how we all tremble in lookingforward to it. , Mr. Fairly thinks Mr. Smelt the fittest man forthis office; Mr. Smelt thinks the same of Mr. Fairly: both havetold me this. MR. FAIRLY AND MR. WINDHAM. Mr. Fairly began soon to look at his watch, complaining very muchof the new ceremony imposed, of this attendance of handing theQueen, which, he said, broke into his whole evening. Yet he doesas little as possible. "The rest of them, " he said, " think itnecessary to wait in an adjoining apartment during the wholeinterview, to be ready to show themselves when it is over! He now sat with his watch in his hand, dreading to pass his time, but determined not to anticipate its occupation, till half pastnine o'clock, when he drew on his white gloves, ready for action. But then, stopping short, he desired me to guess whom, amongst myacquaintance, he had met in London this last time of his goingthither. I could not guess whom he meant--but I saw it was nocommon person, by his manner. He then continued--"A tall, thin, meagre, sallow, black-eyed, penetrating, keen-looking figure. " I could still not guess, -and he named Mr. Windham. "Mr. Windham!" I exclaimed, "no, indeed, --you do not describe himfairly, -he merits better colouring. " He accuses me of being very partial to him: however, I am angryenough with him just now, though firmly persuaded still, thatwhatever has fallen from him, that is wrong and unfeeling on thesubject of the Regency, has been the effect of hisenthusiastic friendship for Mr. Burke: for he has never risen, onthis cruel business, but in Support of that most misguided ofVehement and wild orators. This I have observed in the debates, and felt that Mr. Burke was not more run away with by violence oftemper, and passion, than Mr. Windham by excess of friendship andadmiration. Page 298 Mr. Fairly has, I fancy, been very intimate with him, for he toldme he observed he was passing him, in Queen Anne Street, andstopped his horse, to call out, "O ho, Windham! so I see you willnot know me with this servant!" He was on business of thequeen's, and had one of the royal grooms with him. Mr. Windham laughed, and said he was very glad to see who it was, for, on looking at the royal servant, he had just been going tomake his lowest bow. "O, I thank you!" returned Mr. Fairly, "you took me, then, forthe Duke of Cumberland, " THE KING CONTINUES TO IMPROVE. Feb. 17. -The times are now most interesting and critical. Dr. Willis confided to me this morning that to-day the king is to seethe chancellor. How important will be the result of hisappearance!--the whole national fate depends upon it! Feb. 18. -I had this morning the highest gratification, the purestfeelings of delight, I have been regaled with for many months: Isaw, from the road, the king and queen, accompanied by Dr. Willis, walking in Richmond gardens, near the farm, arm in arm!--It was a pleasure that quite melted me, after a separation sobitter, scenes so distressful-to witness such harmony andsecurity! Heaven bless and preserve them was all I couldincessantly say while I kept in their sight. I was in thecarriage with Mrs. Schwellenberg at the time. They saw us also, as I heard afterwards from the queen. In the evening Mrs. Arline, Mrs. Schwellenberg's maid, came intoMrs. Schwellenberg's room, after coffee, and said to me, "If youplease, ma'am, somebody wants you. " I concluded this somebody myshoemaker, or the like; but in my room I saw Mr. Fairly. He wasin high spirits. He had seen his majesty; Dr. Willis had carriedhim in. He was received with open arms, and embraced; he foundnothing now remaining of the disorder, but too in much hurry ofspirits. When he had related the particulars of the interview, he suddenly exclaimed, "How amazingly well you have borne allthis!" I made some short answers, and would have taken-refuge in someother topic: but he seemed bent upon pursuing his own, andstarted various questions and surmises, to draw me on, In vain, however; I gave but general, or evasive answers, Page 299 THE KING'S HEALTH IS COMPLETELY RESTORED. This was a sweet, and will prove a most memorable day:Regency was put off, in the House of Lords, by a motion fromthe chancellor!--huzza! huzza!And this evening, for the first time, the king came upstairs, todrink tea with the queen and princesses in the drawing-room! Myheart was so full of joy and thankfulness, I could hardlybreathe! Heaven--heaven be praised! What a different house isthis house become!--sadness and terror, that wholly occupied itso lately, are now flown away, or rather are now driven out ; andthough anxiety still forcibly prevails, 'tis in so small aproportion to joy and thankfulness, that it is borne as if scarcean ill! Feb. 23. -This morning opened wofully to me, though gaily to thehouse; for as my news of his majesty was perfectly comfortable, Iventured, in direct words, to ask leave to receive my dearfriends Mr. And Mrs. Locke, who were now in town:--in understoodsentences, and open looks, I had already failed again and again. My answer was-" I have no particular objection, only you'll keepthem to your room. " Heavens!--did they ever, unsummoned, quit it?or have they any wish to enlarge their range of visit? I wassilent, and then heard a history of some imprudence in LadyEffingham, who had received some of her friends. My resolution, upon this, I need not mention: I preferred the most lengthenedabsence to such a permission. But I felt it acutely! andI hoped, at least, that by taking no steps, something morefavourable might soon pass. . . . The king I have seen again in the queen's dressing-room. Onopening the door, there he stood! He smiled at my start, and saying he had waited on purpose to see me, added, "I am quitewell now, --I was nearly so when I saw you before, but I couldovertake you better now. " And then he left the room. Iwas quite melted with joy and thankfulness at this so entirerestoration. End of February, 1789. Dieu merci! (294) Physician-in-ordinary to the king-ED. (295) Her tragedy of "Edwy and Elgiva, " which was produced atDrury Lane in 1795. See note ante, vol. I. , p. Xlv. --ED. (296) The "Douglas cause" was one of the causes celebres of itstine. Its history is briefly as follows. In 1746 Lady JaneDouglas married Sir John Stewart. At Paris, in July, 1748, shegave birth to twins, Archibald and Sholto, of whom the latterdied an infant. Lady Jane herself died in 1753. The survivingchild, Archibald, was always recognized as their son by Lady Janeand Sir John. In 1760 the Duke of Douglas, the brother of LadyJane, being childless, recognised his sister's son as his heir, and bequeathed to him by will the whole of the Douglas estates, revoking, for that purpose, a previous testament which he hadmade in favour of the Hamilton family. The Duke died in 1761, and Archibald, who had assumed his mother's, name of Douglas, duly succeeded to the estates. His right, however, Was disputedat law by the Duke of Hamilton, on the pretence, which he soughtto establish, that Archibald Douglas was not in fact the son ofhis reputed mother. The Lords of Session in Scotland decided infavour of the Duke of Hamilton, whereupon Mr. Douglas appealed tothe House of Lords, which reversed the decision of the Scottishcourt (February 2-, 1769), 1, "thereby confirming to Mr. Douglashis Filiation and his Fortune. "-ED. (297) "Miss Fuzilier, " the Diary-name for Miss Gunning, whomColonel Digby did subsequently marry. "Sir R- F-" is her father, Sir Robert Gunning. -ED, (298) One of the apothecaries to the royal household. -ED. (299) Dr. Richard Warren, one of the physicians in ordinary tothe king and the Prince of Wales. -ED. (300) The Lord chancellor Thurlow. -ED. (301) Mrs. Elizabeth Carter's "Ode to Wisdom, " printed in"Clarissa Harlowe" (vol. Ii. , letter x. ), with a musical setting, given as the composition of Clarisa herself. The Ode is by nomeans without merit of a modest kind, but can scarcely be rankedthe production of a genuine poet. -ED. (302) "Emmeline, the Orphan of the Castle, " a novel in fourvolumes, by Charlotte Smith. Published 1788. -ED. (303) Mr. Frederick Montagu was not only a member of theopposition but One of the managers of the impeachment of WarrenHastings. -ED. (304) Burke's last act before quitting office at the close of1783, had been to procure for Dr. Burney the post of organist toChelsea hospital, to which was attached a salary of fifty poundsa year. -ED. Page 300 SECTION 15. (1789-) THE KING'S RECOVERY: ROYAL VISIT To WEYMOUTH. THE KING'S REAPPEARANCE. Kew Palace, Sunday, March 1. -What a pleasure was mine thismorning! how solemn, but how grateful! The queen gave me the"Prayer of Thanksgiving" upon the king's recovery. It was thismorning read in all the churches throughout the metropolis, andby this day week it will reach every church in the kingdom. Itkept me in tears all the morning, --that such a moment shouldactually arrive! after fears so dreadful, scenes so terrible. The queen gave me a dozen to distribute among the femaleservants: but I reserved one of them for dear Mr. Smelt, who tookit from me in speechless extacy--his fine and feeling eyesswimming in tears of joy. There is no describing--and I will notattempt it--the fullness, the almost overwhelming fullness ofthis morning's thankful feelings! I had the great gratification to see the honoured object of thisjoy, for a few minutes, in the queen's dressing-room. He was allcalmness and benevolent graciousness. I fancied my strongemotion had disfigured me; or perhaps the whole of this longconfinement and most affecting winter may have somewhat marked mycountenance; for the king presently said to me, "Pray, are youquite well to-day?" " I think not quite, sir, " I answered, Page 301 "She does not look well, " said he to the queen; "she looks alittle yellow, I think. " How kind, to think of anybody and their looks, at this firstmoment of reappearance! AN AIRING AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. Wednesday, March 4. -A message from Mrs. Schwellenberg thismorning, to ask me to air with her, received my most reluctantacquiescence; for the frost is so severe that any air, withoutexercise, is terrible to me; though, were her atmosphere milder, the rigour of the season I might not regard. When we came to the passage the carriage was not ready. Shemurmured most vehemently; and so bitterly cold was I, I couldheartily have joined, had it answered any purpose. In this coldpassage we waited in this miserable manner a full quarter of anhour; Mrs. Schwellenberg all the time scolding the servants, threatening them With exile, sending message after message, repining, thwarting, and contentious. Now we were to go, and wait in the king's rooms--now in thegentlemen's--now in Dr. Willis's--her own--and this, in the end, took place. In our way we encountered Mr. Fairly. He asked where we weregoing. "To my own parlour!" she answered. He accompanied us in; and, to cheer the gloom, seized some of thestores of Dr. Willis, --sandwiches, wine and water, and otherrefreshments, --and brought them to us, one after another in asportive manner, recommending to us to break through commonrules, on such an occasion, and eat and drink to warm ourselves. Mrs. Schwellenberg stood in stately silence, and bolt upright, scarce deigning to speak even a refusal; till, upon his saying, while he held a glass of wine in his hand, "Come, ma'am, dosomething eccentric for once--it will warm you, " she angrilyanswered, "You been reely--what you call--too much hospital!" Neither of us could help laughing. "Yes, " cried he, "with thegoods of others;--that makes a wide difference in hospitality!" Then he rattled away upon the honours the room had latelyreceived, of having had Mr. Pitt, the Chancellor, Archbishop ofCanterbury, etc. , to wait in it. This she resented highly, asseeming to think it more honoured in her absence than presence. Page 302 At length we took our miserable airing, in which I was treatedwith as much fierce harshness as if I was being conveyed to someplace of confinement for the punishment Of some dreadful offence! She would have the glass down on my side; the piercing wind cutmy face; I put my muff up to it: this incensed her so much, thatshe vehemently declared "she never, no never would trobble anywon to air with her again but go always selfs. "--And who willrepine at that? thought I. Yet by night I had caught a violent cold, which flew to my face, and occasioned me dreadful pain. March 10. -I have been in too much pain to write these last fivedays; and I became very feverish, and universally ill, affectedwith the fury of the cold. My royal mistress, who could not but observe me very unwell, though I have never omitted my daily three attendances, which Ihave performed with a difficulty all but insurmountable, concluded I had been guilty of some imprudence: I told the simplefact of the glass, --but quite simply, and without onecircumstance. She instantly said she was surprised I could catchcold in an airing, as it never appeared that it disagreed with mewhen I took it with Mrs. Delany. "No, ma'am, " I immediately answered, "nor with Mrs, Locke; norformerly with Mrs. Thrale:--but they left me the regulation ofthe glass on my own side to myself; or, if they interfered, itwas to draw it up for me. " This I could not resist. I can be silent; but when challenged tospeak at all, it must be plain truth. I had no answer. Illness here--till of late--has been sounknown, that it is commonly supposed it must be wilful, andtherefore meets little notice, till accompanied by danger, orincapacity of duty. This is by no means from hardness ofheart-far otherwise ; there is no hardness of heart in any one ofthem ; but it is prejudice and want of personal experience. ILLUMINATIONS ON THE KING's RECOVERY. March 10. -This was a day of happiness indeed!---a day of suchheartfelt public delight as Could not but suppress all privatedisturbance. The general illumination of all London proved theuniversal joy of a thankful and most affectionate people, whohave shown so largely, on this trying occasion, how well theymerited the monarch thus benignantly preserved. Page 303 The queen, from the privy purse, gave private orders for aSplendid illumination at this palace. (305) The King--Providence--Health--and Britannia, were displayed with elegantdevices; the queen and princesses, all but the youngest, went totown to see the illumination there; and Mr. Smelt was to conductthe surprise. --It was magnificently beautiful. When it was lighted and prepared, the Princess Amelia went tolead her papa to the front window: but first she dropped on -herknees, and presented him a paper with these lines-which, at thequeen's desire, I had scribbled in her name, for the happyoccasion:-- TO THE KING. Amid a rapt'rous nation's praise That sees Thee to their prayers restor'd, Turn gently from the gen'ral blaze, -- Thy Charlotte woos her bosom's lord. Turn and behold where, bright and clear, Depictur'd with transparent art, The emblems of her thoughts appear, The tribute of a grateful heart. O! small the tribute, were it weigh'd With all she feels--or half she owes! But noble minds are best repaid >From the pure spring whence bounty flows. PS. The little bearer begs a kiss >From dear papa for bringing this. I need not, I think, tell you, the little bearer begged not invain. The king was extremely pleased. He came into a roombelonging to the princesses, in which we had a party to look atthe illuminations, and there he stayed above an hour; cheerful, composed, and gracious! all that could merit the great nationaltestimony to his worth this day paid him. MR FAIRLY ON MISS BURNEY's DUTIES. Windsor, March 18. -A little rap announced Mr. Fairly, who camein, saying, "I am escaped for a little while, to have some quietconversation with you, before the general assemblage and storm ofcompany. " He then gravely said, "Tomorrow I shall take leave ofyou--for a long time Page 304 He intended setting off to-morrow morning for town, by theopportunity of the equerries' coach, which would convey him toKew, where his majesty was to receive an address. He told me, with a good deal of humour, that he suspected me ofbeing rather absent in my official occupation, from littlenatural care about toilettes and such things. I could notpossibly deny this, --on the contrary, I owned I had, at first, found my attention unattainable, partly from flutter andembarrassment, and partly from the reasons he so discerninglyassigned. "I have even, " I added, "and not seldom, handed herfan before her gown, and her gloves before her cap but I ambetter in all that now!" "I should think all that very likely, " cried he, smiling; "yet itis not very trifling with her majesty, who is so exact andprecise, such things seem to her of moment. " This is truth itself. I said, "No, --she is more gracious, more kind, indeed, to me thanever: she scarce speaks, scarce turns to me without a smile. " " Well, " cried he, extremely pleased, "this must much soften youremployment and confinement. And, indeed, it was most natural toexpect this time of distress should prove a cement. " A VISIT FROM MISS FUZILIER. I think I need not mention meeting my beloved Fredy in town, onour delightful excursion thither for the grand restorationDrawing-room, in which the queen received the compliments andcongratulations of almost all the Court part of the nation. MissCambridge worked me, upon this occasion, a suit, in silks upontiffany, most excessively delicate and pretty, and much admiredby her majesty. All I shall mention of this town visit is, that, the day afterthe great Drawing-room, Miss Fuzilier, for the first time since Ihave been in office, called upon me to inquire after the queen. Miss Tryon, and Mrs. Tracey, and Mrs. Fielding were with her. She looked serious, sensible, interesting. I thought instantly ofthe report concerning Mr. Fairly, and of his disavowal : but itwas singular that the only time she opened her mouth to speak wasto name him! Miss Tryon, who chatted incessantly, had spoken ofthe great confusion at the Drawing-room, from the crowd: "It wasintended to be better regulated, " said Miss Page 305 F. , "Mr. Fairly told me. " She dropped her eye the moment shehad spoken his name. After this, as before it, she said nothing. . . . Mr. George Villiers, a younger brother of Lord Clarendon, was nowhere as groom of the bedchamber. He is very clever, somewhatcaustigue, but so loyal and vehement in the king's cause, that hehas the appellation, from his party, of "The Tiger. " He would not obtain it for his person, which is remarkably slim, slight, and delicate. A COMMAND FROM HER MAJESTY. Kew, April, 1789. My dearest friends, - I have her majesty'scommands to inquire--whether you have any of a certain breed ofpoultry? N. B. What breed I do not remember. And to say she has just received a small group of the sameherself. N. B. The quantity I have forgotten. And to add, she is assured they are something very rare andscarce, and extraordinary and curious. N. B. By whom she was assured I have not heard. And to subjoin, that you must send word if you have any of thesame sort. N. B. How you are to find that out, I cannot tell. And to mention, as a corollary, that, if you have none of them, and should like to have some, she has a cock and a hen she canspare, and will appropriate them to Mr. Locke and my dearestFredy. This conclusive stroke so pleased and exhilarated me, thatforthwith I said you would both be enchanted, and so forgot allthe preceding particulars. And I said, moreover, that I knew youwould rear them, and cheer them, and fondle them like yourchildren. So now-pray write a very fair answer fairly, in fair hand, and toher fair purpose. COLONEL MANNERS MYSTIFIES MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. Queen's Lodge, Windsor, April. -Mrs. Schwellenberg is softenedinto nothing but civility and courtesy to me. To what the changeis owing I cannot conjecture; but I do all that in me lies Page 306 to support it, preferring the entire sacrifice of every moment, from our dinner to twelve at night, to her harshness and horrors. Nevertheless, a lassitude of existence creeps sensibly upon me. Colonel Manners, however, for the short half-hour of tea-time, isirresistibly diverting. He continues my constant friend andneighbour, and, while he affects to play off the coadjutrix toadvantage, he nods at me, to draw forth my laughter orapprobation, with the most alarming undisguise. I often fear herbeing affronted ; but naturally she admires him very much for hisuncommon share of beauty, and makes much allowance for hislevity. However, the never-quite-comprehended affair of theleather bed-cover, (306) has in some degree intimidated her eversince, as she constantly apprehends that, if he were provoked, hewould play her some trick. He had been at White's ball, given in town upon his majesty'srecovery. We begged some account of it: he ranted away withgreat fluency, uttering little queer sarcasms at Mrs, Schwellenberg by every opportunity, and colouring when he haddone, with private fear of enraging her. This, however, shesuspected not, or all his aim had been lost; for to alarm her ishis delight. "I liked it all, " he said, in summing up his relation, "verywell, except the music, and I like any caw-caw-caw, better thanthat sort of noise, --only you must not tell the king I say that, ma'am, because the king likes it. " She objected to the words " must not, " and protested she wouldnot be directed by no one, and would tell it, if she pleased. Upon this, he began a most boisterous threatening of the evilconsequences which would accrue to herself, though in soludicrous a manner, that how she could suppose him serious was mywonder. "Take care of yourself, ma'am, " he cried, holding up hisfinger as if menacing a child; "take care of yourself! I am notto be provoked twice!" This, after a proud resistance, conquered her - and, reallyfrightened at she knew not what, she fretfully exclaimed, "Verwell, sir!--I wish I had not come down! I won't no more! youmight have your tea when you can get It. " Returning to his account, he owned he had been rather a littlemusical himself for once, which was when they all sang "God savethe king, " after the supper; for then he joined in Page 307 the chorus, as well and as loud as any of them, "though some ofthe company, " he added, "took the liberty to ask me not to be soloud, because they pretended I was out of tune; but it was Insuch a good cause that I did not mind that. " She was no sooner recovered than the attack became personalagain; and so it has continued ever since: he seems bent upon"playing her off" in all manners; he braves her, then complimentsher, assents to her opinion, and the next moment contradicts her;pretends uncommon friendship for her, and then laughs in herface. But his worst manoeuvre is a perpetual application to me, by looks and sly glances, which fill me with terror of passingfor an accomplice; and the more, as I find it utterly impossibleto keep grave during these absurdities. And yet, the mostextraordinary part of the story is that she really likes him!though at times she is so angry, she makes vows to keep to herown room. Mr. George Villiers, with far deeper aim, sneers out his own moreartful satire, but is never understood ; while Colonel Mannersdomineers with so high a hand, he carries all before him; andwhenever Mrs. Schwellenberg, to lessen her mortification, drawsme into the question, he instantly turns off whatever she beginsinto some high-flown compliment, so worded also as to convey somecomparative reproach. This offends more than all. When she complains to me of him, in his absence, I answer he is amere schoolboy, for mischief, without serious design ofdispleasing: but she tells me she sees he means to do her someharm, and she will let the king know, if he goes on at that rate, for she does not choose such sort of familiarness. Once she apologised suddenly for her English, and Colonel Mannerssaid, "O, don't mind that, ma'am, for I take no particular noticeas to your language. " "But, " says she, "Miss Berner might tell me, when I speak itsometimes not quite right, what you call. " "O dear no, ma'am!" exclaimed he; "Miss Burney is of too mild adisposition for that: she could not correct you strong enough todo you good. " "Oh!-ver well, sir!" she cried, confounded by his effrontery. One day she lamented she had been absent when there was so muchagreeable company in the house; "And now, " she Page 308 added, "now that I am comm back, here is nobody. --not one!--nosociety!" . He protested this was not to be endured, and told her that toreckon all us nobody was so bad, he should resent it. "What will you do, my good colonel?" she cried. "O ma'am, do?--I will tell Dr. Davis. " "And who bin he?" "Why, he's the master of Eton school, ma'am, " with a thunderingbawl in her ears, that made her stop them. "No, sir!" she cried, indignantly, "I thank you for that, I won'thave no Dr. Schoolmaster, what you call! I bin too old forthat. " "But, ma'am, he shall bring you a Latin oration upon thissubject, and you must hear it!" "O, 'tis all the same! I shan't not understand it, so I won'tnot hear it. " "But you must, ma'am. If I write it, I shan't let you off so:--you must hear it!" "No, I won't!--Miss Berner might, --give it her. " "Does Miss Burney know Latin?" cried Mr. G. Villiers. "Not one word, " quoth I. "I believe that cried she "but she might hear it the sam!" THE SAILOR PRINCE. On the 2nd of May I met Colonel Manners, waiting at the corner ofa passage leading towards the queen's apartments. "Is the king, ma'am, " he cried, "there? because Prince William(307) is come. " I had heard he was arrived in town, -and with much concern, sinceit was without leave of the king. It was in the illness, indeed, of the king he sailed to England, and when he had probably allthe excuse of believing his royal father incapable of furthergovernance. How did I grieve for the feelings of that royalfather, in this idea! yet it certainly offers for Prince Williamhis best apology. In the evening, while Mrs. Schwellenberg, Mrs. Zachary and myselfwere sitting in the eating parlour, the door was suddenly openedby Mr. Alberts, the queen's page, and "prince William" wasannounced. He came to see Mrs. Schwellenberg. He is handsome, as Page 309 are all the royal family, though he is not of a height to becalled a good figure. He looked very hard at the twostrangers, but made us all sit, very civilly, and drew a chairfor himself, and began to discourse with the most unboundedopenness and careless ease, of everything that Occurred to him. Mrs. Schwellenberg said she had pitied him for the grief he musthave felt at the news of the king's illness : "Yes, " cried he, "Iwas very sorry, for his majesty, very sorry indeed, -no man lovesthe king better ; of that be assured. But all sailors love their king. And I felt for the queen, too, --I did, faith. I was horridly agitated when I saw the king first. I couldhardly stand. " Then Mrs. Schwellenberg suddenly said, "Miss Berner, now youmight see his royal highness; you wanted it so moch, and now youmight do it. Your royal highness, that is Miss Berner. " He rose very civilly, and bowed, to this strange freak of anintroduction; and, of course, I rose and Curtsied low, and waitedhis commands to sit again; which were given instantly, with greatcourtesy. "Ma'am, " cried he, "you have a brother in the service?" "Yes, sir, " I answered, much pleased with this professional attention. He had not, he civilly said, the pleasure to know him, but he hadheard of him. Then, turning suddenly to Mrs. Schwellenberg, "Pray, " cried he, "what is become of Mrs. --Mrs. --Mrs. Hogentot?" "O, your royal highness!" cried she, stifling much offence, "doyou mean the poor Haggerdorn?--O your royal highness! have youforgot her?" "i have, upon my word!" cried he, plumply "upon my soul, I have!" Then turning again to me, "I am very happy, ma'am, " he cried, "tosee you here; it gives me great pleasure the queen should appointthe sister of a sea-officer to so eligible a situation. As longas she has a brother in the service, ma'am, , cried he to Mrs. Schwellenberg, "I look upon her as one of us. O, faith I do! Ido indeed! she is one of the corps. " Then he said he had been making acquaintance with a new princess, one he did not know nor remember-Princess Amelia. "Mary, too, "--he said, "I had quite forgot; and they did not tell me who shewas; so I went up to her, and, without in the least recollectingher, she's so monstrously grown, I said, 'Pray, ma'am, are youone of the attendants?'" Princess Sophia is his professed favourite. "I have had the Page 310 honour, " he cried, "of about an hour's conversation with thatyoung lady, in the old style; though I have given up my madfrolics now. To be sure, I had a few in that style formerly;upon my word I am almost ashamed;--Ha! ha! ha!" Then, recollecting particulars, he laughed vehemently; but Mrs. Schwellenberg eagerly interrupted his communications. I fancysome of them might have related to our own sacred person! "Augusta, " he said "looks very well, --a good face andcountenance, --she looks interesting, --she looks as if she knewmore than she Would say; and I like that character. " He stayed a full hour, chatting in this good-humoured andfamiliar manner. LOYAL RECEPTION OF THE KING IN THE NEW FOREST. Thursday, June 25. -This morning I was called before five o'clock, though various packages and business had kept me up till nearthree. The day was rainy, but the road was beautiful; Windsor greatpark, in particular, is charming. The crowds increased as weadvanced, and at Winchester the town was one head. I saw Dr. Warton, but could not stop the carriage. The king was everywherereceived with acclamation. His popularity is greater than ever. Compassion for his late sufferings seems to have endeared him nowto all conditions of men. At Romsey, on the steps of the town-hall, an orchestra wasformed, and a band of musicians, in common brown coarse cloth andred neckcloths, and even in carters' loose gowns, made a chorusof "God save the king, " In which the countless multitude joined, in such loud acclamation, that their loyalty and heartiness, andnatural joy, almost surprised me into a sob before I knew myselfat all affected by them. The New Forest Is all beauty, and when we approached Lyndhurstthe crowds wore as picturesque an appearance as the landscapes ;They were all in decent attire, and, the great space giving themfull room, the cool beauty of the verdure between the groups tookaway all idea of inconvenience, and made their live gaiety ascene to joy beholders. Carriages of all sorts lined the road-side :-chariots, chaises, landaus, carts, waggons, whiskies, gigs, phatons--mixed andintermixed, filled Within and surrounded without by faces allglee and delight. Page 311 Such was the scenery for miles before we reached Lyndhurst. Theold law of the forest, that his majesty must be presented withtwo milk-white greyhounds, peculiarly decorated, upon hisentrance into the New Forest, gathered together multitudes to seethe show. A party, also, of foresters, habited in green, andeach with a bugle-horn, met his majesty at the same time. Arrived at Lyndhurst, we drove to the Duke of Gloucester's. Theroyal family were just before us, but the two colonels came andhanded us through the crowd. The house, intended for a merehunting-seat, was built by Charles II. , and seems quiteunimproved and unrepaired from its first foundation. It is theking's, but lent to the Duke of Gloucester. It is a straggling, inconvenient, old house, but delightfully situated, in avillage, --looking, indeed, at present, like a populous town, fromthe amazing concourse of people that have crowded into it. The bow-men and archers and bugle-horns are to attend the kingwhile he stays here, in all his rides. The Duke of Gloucester was ready to receive the royal family, whoare all in the highest spirits and delight. I have a small old bed-chamber, but a large and commodiousparlour, in which the gentlemen join Miss Planta and me tobreakfast and to drink tea. They dine at the royal table. Weare to remain here some days. During the king's dinner, which was in a parlour looking into thegarden, he permitted the people to come to the window; and theirdelight and rapture in seeing their monarch at table, with theevident hungry feeling it occasioned, made a contrast ofadmiration and deprivation, truly comic. They crowded, however, so excessively, that this can be permitted them no more. Theybroke down all the paling, and much of the hedges, and some ofthe windows, and all by eagerness and multitude, for they wereperfectly civil and well-behaved. In the afternoon the royal party came into my parlour; and themoment the people saw the star, they set up such a shout as madea ring all around the village; for my parlour has the same viewwith the royal rooms into the garden, where this crowd wasassembled, and the new rapture was simply at seeing the king in anew apartment! They all walked out, about and around the village, in theevening, and the delighted mob accompanied them. The Page 312 moment they stepped out of the house, the people, With voice, struck up "God save the king!" I assure you I cried like a childtwenty times in the day, at the honest and rapturous effusions ofsuch artless and disinterested loyalty. The king's illness andrecovery make me tender, as Count Mannuccia said, upon everyrecollection. These good villagers continued singing this loyal song during thewhole walk, without any intermission, except to shout "huzza!" atthe end of every stanza. They returned so hoarse, that I longedto give them all some lemonade. Probably they longed forsomething they would have called better! 'Twas well the kingcould walk no longer; I think, if he had, they would have diedsinging around him. June 30. -We continued at Lyndhurst five days and the tranquillityof the life, and the beauty of the country, would have made itvery regaling to me indeed, but for the fatigue of having nomaid, yet being always in readiness to play the part of anattendant myself. I went twice to see the house of Sir Phillip Jennings Clerke, myold acquaintance at Streatham. I regretted he was no more; hewould so much have prided and rejoiced in shewing his place. Hisopposition principles would not have interfered with that privateact of duty from a subject to a sovereign. How did I call tomind Mrs. Thrale, upon this spot! not that I had seen it withher, or ever before; but that its late owner was one of hersincerest admirers. Miss Planta and myself drove also to Southampton, by the queen'sdirection. It is a pretty clean town, and the views from theSouthampton water are highly picturesque : but all this I hadseen to far greater advantage, with Mr. And Mrs. And Miss Thrale. Ah, Mrs. Thrale!--In thinking her over, as I saw again the samespot, how much did I wish to see with it the same--once so dear--companion! On the Sunday we all went to the parish church ; and after theservice, instead of a psalm, imagine our surprise to hear thewhole congregation join in "God save the king!" Misplaced asthis was in a church, its intent was so kind, loyal, andaffectionate, that I believe there was not a dry eye amongsteither singers or hearers. The king's late dreadful illness hasrendered this song quite melting to me. This day we quitted Lyndhurst; not without regret, for so privateis its situation, I could stroll about in its beautifulneighbourhood quite alone. Page 313 THE ROYAL JOURNEY TO WEYMOUTH. The journey to Weymouth was one scene of festivity and rejoicing. The people were everywhere collected, and everywhere delighted. We passed through Salisbury, where a magnificent arch waserected, of festoons of flowers, for the king's carriage to passunder, and mottoed with "The king restored, " and "Long live theking, " in three divisions. The green bowmen accompanied thetrain thus far; and the clothiers and manufacturers here met it, dressed out in white loose frocks, flowers, and ribbons, withsticks or caps emblematically decorated from their severalmanufactories. And the acclamations with which the king wasreceived amongst them--it was a rapture past description. AtBlandford there was nearly the same ceremony. At every gentleman's seat which we passed, the owners and theirfamilies stood at the gate, and their guests Or neighbours werein carriages all round. At Dorchester the crowd seemed still increased. The city had soantique an air, I longed to investigate its old buildings. Thehouses have the most ancient appearance of any that are inhabitedthat I have happened to see: and inhabited they were indeed! every window-sash was removed, for face above face to peep Out, and every old balcony and all the leads of the houses seemedturned into booths for fairs. It seems, also, the most populoustown I have seen; I judge by the concourse of the young andmiddle-aged--those we saw everywhere alike, as they may gathertogether from all quarters-but from the amazing quantity ofindigenous residers; old women and young children. There seemedfamilies of ten or twelve of the latter in every house; and theold women were so numerous, that they gave the whole scene theair of a rural masquerade. Girls, with chaplets, beautiful young creatures, strewed theentrance of various villages with flowers. WELCOME TO WEYMOUTH. Gloucester House, which we now inhabit, at Weymouth, is Situatedin front of the sea, and the sands of the bay before it areperfectly smooth and soft. The whole town, and Melcomb Regis, and half the county of Dorset, seemed assembled to welcome their majesties. I have here a very good parlour, but dull, from its aspect. Page 314 Nothing but the sea at Weymouth affords any life Or Spirit. Mybed-room is in the attics. Nothing like living at a Court forexaltation. Yet even with this gratification, which extends toMiss Planta, the house will only hold the females of the party. The two adjoining houses are added, for the gentlemen, an(] thepages, and some other of the suite, cooks, etc. --but the footmenare obliged to lodge still farther off. The bay is very beautiful, after its kind; a peninsula shuts outPortland island and the broad ocean. The king, and queen, and princesses, and their suite, walked outin the evening; an immense crowd attended them--sailors bargemen, mechanics, countrymen; and all united with so vociferous a volleyof "God save the king, " that the noise was stunning. At near ten o'clock Lord Courtown came into my parlour, as it iscalled, and said the town was all illuminated, and invited MissPlanta and me to a walk upon the sands. Their majesties werecome in to supper. We took a stroll under his escort, and foundit singularly beautiful, the night being very fine, and severalboats and small vessels lighted up, and in motion upon the sea. The illumination extended through Melcomb Regis and Weymouth. Gloucester-row, in which we live, is properly in Melcomb Regis;but the two towns join each other, and are often confounded. The preparations of festive loyalty were universal. Not a childcould we meet that had not a bandeau round its head, cap, or hat, of "God save the king;" all the bargemen wore it in cockades andeven the bathing-women had it in large coarse girdles round theirwaists. It is printed in golden letters upon most of thebathing-machines, and in various scrolls and devices it adornsevery shop and almost every house in the two towns. THE ROYAL PLUNGE WITH MUSICAL HONOURS. "YOU MUST KNEEL, SIR!" Gloucester House, Weymouth, Wednesday, July 9. -We are settledhere comfortably enough. Miss Planta and I breakfast as well asdine together alone; the gentlemen have a breakfast parlour inthe adjoining house, and we meet only at tea, and seldom then. They have all acquaintance here, in this Gloucester-row, andstroll from the terrace or the sands, to visit them during thetea vacation time. Page 315. ' I like this much: I see them just enough to keep up sociability, without any necessary constraint; for I attend the tea-tableonly at my own hour, and they come, or not, according tochance or their convenience. The king bathes, and with great success; a machine follows theroyal one into the sea, filled with fiddlers, who play "God savethe king, " as his majesty takes his plunge! I am delighted with the soft air and soft footing upon the sands, and stroll up and down them morning, noon, and night. As theyare close before the house, I can get to and from them in amoment. Her majesty has graciously hired a little maid between MissPlanta and me, who comes for the day. We have no accommodationfor her sleeping here; but it is an unspeakable relief to ourpersonal fatigues. Dr. Gisburne is here, to attend his majesty; and the queen hasordered me to invite him to dine at my table. He comesregularly. (Fanny Burney to Dr. Burney. ) Gloucester Rowe, Weymouth, July 13, 1789. My dearest padre's kind letter was most truly welcome to me. When I am so distant, the term of absence or of silence seemsalways doubly long to me. The bay here is most beautiful; the sea never rough, generallycalm and gentle, and the sands perfectly smooth and pleasant. Ihave not bathed, for I have had a cold in my head, which I caughtat Lyndhurst, and which makes me fear beginning; but I have hopesto be well enough to-morrow, and thenceforward to ail nothingmore. It is my intention to cast away all superfluous complaintsinto the main ocean, which I think quite sufficiently capaciousto hold them ; and really my little frame will find enough tocarry and manage without them. . . . His majesty is in delightful health, and much-improved spirits. All agree he never looked better. The loyalty of all this placeis excessive; they have dressed out every street with labels of"God save the king:" all the shops have it over the doors: allthe children wear it in their caps, all the labourers in theirhats, and all the sailors in their voices, for they neverapproach the house without shouting it aloud, nor see the king, or his shadow, without beginning to huzza, and going on to threecheers. Page 316 The bathing-machines make it their motto over the windows; andthose bathers that belong to the royal dippers wear it inbandeaus on their bonnets, to go into the sea; and have it again, in large letters, round their waists, to encounter the waves. Flannel dresses, tucked up, and no shoes nor stockings, withbandeaus and girdles, have a most singular appearance, and whenfirst I surveyed these loyal nymphs it was with some difficulty Ikept my features in order. Nor is this all. Think but Of theSurprise of his majesty when, the first time of his bathing, hehad no sooner popped his royal head under water than a band ofmusic, concealed in a neighbouring machine, struck up "God savegreat George our king. " One thing, however, was a little unlucky, --when the mayor andburgesses came with the address, they requested leave to kisshands: this was graciously accorded; but, the mayor advancing, ina common way, to take the queen's hand, as he might that of anylady mayoress, Colonel Gwynn, who stood by, whispered, "You mustkneel, sir!" He found, however, that he took no notice of thishint, but kissed the queen's hand erect. As he passed him, inhis way back, the colonel Said, "You should have knelt, Sir!" "Sir, " answered the poor mayor, "I cannot. " "Everybody does, sir. " "Sir, --I have a wooden leg!" Poor man! 'twas such a surprise! and such an excuse as no onecould dispute. But the absurdity of the matter followed--all therest did the same; taking the same privilege, by the example, without the same or any cause! ROYAL DOINGS IN AND ABOUT WEYMOUTH. July 15. -The Magnificent, a man-of-war Of 74 guns, commanded byan old captain of James's (Onslow), is now stationed at theentrance of the bay, for the security at once and pleasure of theking; and a fine frigate, the Southampton, Captain Douglas, isnearer in, and brought for the king to cruise about. CaptainDouglas is nephew to Sir Andrew Snape Hammond, who married acousin of our Mr. Crisp. The king and royal party have been tovisit the frigate. Miss Planta and myself went to see theceremony from a place called the Look-out, --a beautiful spot. But I have not much taste for sea receptions and honours: thefiring a salute is SO strange a mode of hospitality andpoliteness. . . . Page 317 Mrs. Gwynn(308) is arrived, and means to spend the royalseason here. She lodges at the hotel just by, and we have metseveral times. She is very soft and pleasing, and still asbeautiful as an angel. We have had two or three long tête-Š-têtes and talked over, with great pleasure, anecdotes Of Ourformer mutual acquaintances--Dr. Johnson, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Mrs. Thrale, Baretti, Miss Reynolds, Miss Palmer, and her oldadmirer, Dr. Goldsmith, of whom she relates--as who does not?--athousand ridiculous traits. The queen is reading Mrs. Piozzi's tour(309) to me, instead of myreading it to her. She loves reading aloud, and in this workfinds me an able commentator. How like herself, howcharacteristic is every line--Wild, entertaining, flighty, inconsistent, and clever! July 16. -Yesterday we all wen to the theatre. The king has takenthe centre front box for himself, family, and attendants. Theside boxes are too small. The queen ordered places for MissPlanta and me, which are in the front row of a box next but oneto the royals. Thus, in this case, Our want of rank to be intheir public suite gives us better seats than those high enoughto stand behind them, Lady Sydney, Lady Courtown's sister, and Miss Townshend, herdaughter, are in the intermediate box, and were very sociable. Ihave met them here occasionally, and like them very well. 'Tis a pretty little theatre: but its entertainment was quite inthe barn style a mere medley, --songs, dances, imitations, - andall very bad. But Lord Chesterfield, who is here, and who seemschief director, promises all will be better. This morning the royal party went to Dorchester, and I strolledupon the sands with Mrs. Gwynn. We overtook a lady, of a verymajestic port and demeanour, who solemnly returned Mrs. Gwynn'ssalutation, and then addressed herself to me with similargravity. I saw a face I knew, and of very uncommon beauty; but did not immediately recollect it was Mrs. Siddons. She is come here, she says, solely for her health : shehas spent some days with Mrs. Gwynn, at General Harcourt's. Herhusband was with her, and a sweet child. I wished to have triedif her solemnity would have worn away Page 318 by length of conversation ; but I was obliged to hasten home. But my dearest Fredy's opinion, joined to that of my SisterEsther, satisfies me I was a loser by this necessary forbearance. Sunday, July 26. -Yesterday we wen again to the play, and saw "TheMidnight Hour" and "The Commissary. " The latter from the"Bourgeois Gentilhomme, " is comic to convulsion and the burlesqueof Quick and Mrs. Wells united made ne laugh quiteimmoderately. (310) July 29. -We went to the play, and saw Mrs. Siddons in Rosalind. She looked beautifully, but too large for that shepherd's dress;and her gaiety sits not naturally upon her, --it seems more likedisguised gravity. I must own my admiration for her confined toher tragic powers; and there it is raised so high that I feelmortified, in a degree, to see her so much fainter attempts andsuccess in comedy. A PATIENT AUDIENCE. Monday, Aug. 3. -The whole royal party went to see LulworthCastle, intending to be back to dinner, and go to the play atnight, which their majesties had ordered, with Mrs. Siddons toplay Lady Townly. (311) Dinner-time, however, came and passed, and they arrived not. They went by sea, and the wind provedcontrary; and about seven o'clock a hobby groom was despatchedthither by land, with intelligence that they had only reachedLulworth Castle at five o'clock. They meant to be certainly backby eight ; but sent their commands that the farce might beperformed first, and the play wait them. The manager repeated this to the audience, --already waiting andwearied but a loud applause testified their agreeability towhatever could be proposed. The farce, however, was much soonerover than the passage from Lulworth Castle. It was ten o'clockwhen they landed! And all this time the audience--spectatorsrather--quietly waited! They landed, just by the theatre, and went to the house of LadyPembroke, who is now here in attendance upon the queen : andthere they Sent home for the king's page, with Page 319 a wig, etc. ; and the queen's wardrobe woman, with similardecorations; and a message to Miss Planta and me, that we mightgo at once to the theatre. We obeyed; and soon after they appeared, and were received withthe most violent gusts of joy and huzzas, even from the galleriesover their heads, whose patience had not the reward of seeingthem at last. Is not this a charming trait of provincialpopularity? Mrs. Siddons, in her looks, and the tragic part, was exquisite. A FATIGUING BUT PLEASANT DAY. Aug. 4. -To-day all the royals went to Sherborne Castle. My daybeing perfectly at liberty, Mrs. Gwynn stayed and spent it withme. The weather was beautiful; the sea-breezes here keep offintense heat in the warmest season. We walked first to see theshrubbery and plantation of a lady, Mrs. B--, who has a verypretty house about a mile and a half out of the town. Here werested, and regaled ourselves with sweet flowers, and thenproceeded to the old castle, -its ruins rather, - which we mostcompletely examined, not leaving one stone' untrod, except suchas must have precipitated us into the sea. This castle is builtalmost in the sea, upon a perpendicular rock, and its situation, therefore, is nobly bold and striking. It is little more nowthan walls, and a few little winding staircases at its fourcorners. I had not imagined my beautiful companion could have taken somuch pleasure from an excursion so romantic and, lonely ; but sheenjoyed it very much, clambered about as unaffectedly as if shehad lived in rural scenes all her life, and left nothingunexamined. We then prowled along the sands at the foot of the adjoiningrocks, and picked up sea-weeds and shells - but I do not thinkthey were such as to drive Sir Ashton Lever, (312) or the Museumkeepers, to despair! We had the queen's two little dogs, Badineand Phillis, for our guards and associates. We returned home toa very late tea, thoroughly tired, but very much pleased. To meit was the only rural excursion I had taken for more than threeyears. Page 320 The royal party came not home till past eleven o'clock. Thequeen was much delighted with Sherborne Castle, which aboundswith regal curiosities, honourably acquired by the family. LULWORTH CASTLE. Aug. 8. --To-day we went to Lulworth Castle; but not with Mrs. Gwynn. Her majesty ordered our royal coach and four, anddirected me to take the two De Lucs. Lulworth Castle is beautifully situated, with a near and nobleview of the sea, It has a spacious and very fine park, andcommands a great extent of prospect. It is the property of Mr. Weld, a Roman Catholic, whose eldest brother was first husband ofMrs. Fitzherbert. (313) A singular circumstance, that theirmajesties should visit a house in which, so few years ago, shemight have received them. There is in it a Roman Catholic chapel that is truly elegant, --aPantheon in miniature, --and ornamented with immense expense andrichness. The altar is all of finest variegated marbles, andprecious stones are glittering from every angle. The priests'vestments, which are very superb, and all the sacerdotal array, were shown us as particular favours: and Colonel Goldsworthycomically said he doubted not they had incense and oblations fora week to come, by way of purification for our hereticalcuriosity. The castle is built with four turrets. It is not very ancient, and the inside is completely modern, and fitted up with greatelegance. It abounds in pictures of priests, saints, monks, andnuns, and is decorated with crosses and Roman Catholic deviceswithout end. They show one room in which two of our kings haveslept; Charles II. And poor James II. We returned home to dinner, and in the evening went to the Page 321 play. Mrs. Siddons performed Mrs. Oakley. (313) What pity thusto throw away her talents ! but the queen dislikes tragedy, andthe honour to play before the royal family blinds her to thelittle credit acquired by playing comedy. THE ROYAL PARTY AT THE ASSEMBLY Rooms. Sunday, Aug 9. -The king had a council yesterday, which broughtmost of the great officers of state to Weymouth. In the evening, her majesty desired Miss Planta and me to go tothe rooms, whither they commonly go themselves on Sundayevenings, and, after looking round them, and speaking where theychoose, they retire to tea in an inner apartment with their ownparty, but leave the door wide open, both to see and be seen. The rooms are convenient and spacious : we found them very full. As soon as the royal party came, a circle was formed, and theymoved round it, just as before the ball at St. James's, the kingone way with his chamberlain, the new-made Marquis of Salisbury, and the queen the other with the princesses, Lady Courtown, etc. The rest of the attendants planted themselves round in thecircle. I had now the pleasure, for the first time, to see Mr. Pitt buthis appearance is his least recommendation ; it is neither noblenor expressive. Lord Chatham, the Duke of Richmond, Mr. Villiers, Lord Delawarr, etc. , were in the circle, and spoken toa long time each. A JOURNEY To EXETER AND SALTRAM. Thursday, Aug. 13. -We began our Western tour. We all went in thesame order as we set out from Windsor. We arrived at Exeter to avery late dinner. We were lodged at the Deanery; and Dr. Buller, the dean, desired a conference with me, for we camefirst, leaving the royals at Sir George Young's. He was verycivil, and in highest glee: I had never seen him before; but hetold me he introduced himself, by this opportunity, at theexpress desire of Mrs. Chapone and Mrs. Castle, who were both hisrelations, as well as of Dr. Warton. I was glad to hear myselfyet remembered by them. The crowds, the rejoicings, the hallooing, and singing, andgarlanding, and decorating of all the inhabitants of this old Page 322 city, and of all the country through which we passed, made thejourney quite charming : such happy loyalty as beamed from allranks and descriptions of men carried close to the heart insympathetic joy. We passed all the next day at the Deanery, which was insufficientto our party, that not only the gentlemen, one an(l all, lodgedat the hotel, but even Lady Courtown and the two LadyWaldegraves. I saw nothing of any of them while we stayed atExeter. I strolled with Miss Planta about the town, which ispopulous and busy enough, but close and ugly. The principalparade for company, however, takes in a fine view of the country;and the cathedral is old and curious. The next morning, Saturday the 15th, we quitted Exeter, in whichthere had been one constant mob surrounding the Deanery from themoment of our entrance. We proceeded through a country the mostfertile, varied, rural, and delightful, in England, till we cameto the end of our aim, Saltram. We passed through such beautifulvillages, and so animated a concourse of people, that the wholejourney proved truly delectable. Arches of flowers were-erectedfor the royal family to pass under at almost every town, withvarious loyal devices, expressive of their satisfaction in thiscircuit. How happy must have been the king!-how deservedly ! Thegreatest conqueror could never pass through his dominions withfuller acclamations of joy from his devoted subjects than GeorgeIII. Experienced, simply from having won their love by the eventenor of an unspotted life, which, at length, has vanquished allthe hearts of all his subjects. Our entrance at Saltram was, personally to Miss Planta and me, very disagreeable: we followed immediately after the royals andequerries and so many of the neighbouring gentry, the officers, etc. , were assembled to receive them, that we had to make our waythrough a crowd of starers the most tremendous, while the royalsall stood at the windows, and the other attendants in the hall. The house is one of the most magnificent in the kingdom. Itaccommodated us all, even to every footman, without by any meansfilling the whole. The state apartments on the ground floor aresuperb, hung with crimson damask, and ornamented with pictures, some few of the Spanish school, the rest by Sir Joshua Reynolds, Angelica, and some few by other artists. Its view is noble; it extends to Plymouth, Mount-Edge- Page 323 cumbe, and the neighbouring fine country. The sea at times fillsup a part of the domain almost close to the house, and then itsprospect is Complete. MAY "ONE" COME IN? Sunday, Aug. 16. -Lord Courtown brought me a very obliging messagefrom Lady Mount-Edgecumbe, who had been here at noon to kisshands, on becoming a countess from a baroness. She sent toinvite me to see her place, and contrive to dine and spend theday there. Her majesty approves the Mount-Edgecumbe invitation. Aug. 18. -This morning the royals were all at a grand navalreview. I spent the time very serenely in my favourite wood, which abounds in seats of all sorts - and then I took a fountainPen, and wrote my rough journal for copying to my dearSorelle. (314) In the evening, Lord Courtown, opening my parlour door, calledout, "May one come in?" "May one?" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy; "may two, maythree, --may four?--I like your one, indeed!" And in they all entered, and remained in sociable conversationtill they were all called, late, to cards. AN EXCURSION To PLYMOUTH DOCKYARD. Aug. 19. -Again this morning was spent by the royals at Plymouthdock--by me in strolls round the house. The wood here is trulyenchanting--the paths on the slant down to the water resemblethose of sweet Norbury park. The tea, also, was too much the same to be worth detailing. Iwill only mention a speech which could not but divert me, of Mr. Alberts, the queen's page. He said nobody dared represent to theking the danger of his present continual exertion in this hotweather, --"unless it is Mr. Fairly, " he added, "who can sayanything, in his genteel roundabout way. " Aug. 21. -To-day the royals went to Mount-Edgecumbe, and hermajesty had commissioned Lady Courtown to arrange a plan for MissPlanta and me to see Plymouth Dock. According, therefore, to herladyship's directions, we set off for that place, and, after adull drive of about five miles, arrived at the house of thecommissioner, Admiral La Forey. Here Page 324 Mrs. La Forey and her daughters were prepared to expect us, andtake the trouble of entertaining us for the day. Three large and populous towns, Plymouth, Stockton, andDock, (315) nearly join each other. Plymouth is long, dirty, ill built, and wholly unornamented with any edifice worthnotice. Stockton is rather neater, -nothing more. Dockruns higher and Is newer, and looks far cleaner and morehabitable. The commissioner's is the best-situatedhouse in Dock: it is opposite a handsome quay, on an arm of thesea, with a pretty paved walk, or terrace, before the house, which seems used as a mall by the inhabitants, and is stored withnaval offices innumerable. The two ladies received us very pleasantly. Mrs. La Forey Is wellbred, in the formal way ; but her eldest daughter, Mrs. Molloy, is quite free from stiffness, yet perfectly obliging, very easy, very modest, and very engaging, and, when dressed for a ball inthe evening, very handsome. She does not become adéshabille, but cannot look otherwise than pleasing andagreeable, from her manners and countenance. Captain Molloy, her husband, was gone to attend in the navalprocession that conducted the royals to Mount-Edgecumbe, where heexpected to dine ; but he had left a younger officer, LieutenantGregory, to do the honours of the naval show to us. The commissioner himself is yet more formal than his lady, butequally civil. An unmarried daughter appeared next, who seemssensible and good humoured, but very plain. We sallied forth to the dockyard, with these two daughters, andLieutenant Gregory, a very pleasing and well-bred young officer. How often I wished my dear James had happened to be here, in anyemployment, at this time! The dockyard you will dispense with my describing. It is a nobleand tremendous sight, and we were shown it with every advantageof explanation. It was a sort of sighing satisfaction tosee such numerous stores of war's alarms !-ropes, sails, masts, anchors, --and all in the finest symmetry, divided and subdivided, as if placed only for show, The neatness and exactness of all thearrangement of those stores for tempest, filled me withadmiration; so did the whole scene--though not with pleasure. All assurances, however well to be depended upon, of safety, arebut so many indications of danger. Page 325 While we were seeing the anchor business, --which seemedperformed by Vulcanic demons, so black they looked, so savage wastheir howl in striking the red-hot iron, and so coarse and slighttheir attire, --we were saluted with three cheers, from theaccidental entrance of Lord Stopford, Lord Courtown's son, andMr. Townshend, his nephew, a son of Lord Sydney, just made a lordof the Admiralty. And the sound, in those black regions, whereall the light was red-hot fire, had a Very fine demoniac effect. In beating the anchor they all strike at the same instant, givingabout three quick strokes to one slow stroke; and were they notto time them with the most perfect conformity, they mustinevitably knock out one another's brains. The sight of thisapparently continual danger gave to the whole the appearance ofsome wild rite performed from motives of superstition in someuncivilised country. While we were yet ]it the dockyard we were joined by twosea-captains, Captain Molloy and Captain Duckworth. CaptainMolloy is a sensible and agreeable man, but somewhat haughty, andof conscious consequence. Captain Duckworth is both sensible andamiable in his style of conversation, and has a most perfect andkind openness of manner and countenance; but he greatly amused meby letting me see how much I amused him. I never surprised himlooking near me, without seeing on his face so irresistible asimper, that I expected him every moment to break forth; nevereven trying to keep a grave face, except when I looked at him infull front. I found he knew "Burney, of the Bristol, " as hecalled our James, and I named and conversed about him by everyopportunity. . A VISIT TO A SEVENTY-FOUR. Captain Molloy invited us, when we had exhausted the show onland, to see his ship. I dislike going anywhere beyond the reachof the Humane society, but could not be left without breaking upthe party: this was my first water-excursion, though two had beenproposed to me at Weymouth, which I had begged leave to decline. All, however, was smooth and calm, and we had the best possiblenavigators. We went to the ship in Captain Molloy's large boat, which was very trim and neat, and had all its rowers new dressedand smart for royal attendance, as it followed the king in allhis water-excursions. Page 326 The Ship is the Bombay Castle, of seventy-four guns. It had theAdmiralty flag hoisted, as Lord Chatham had held a board there inthe morning. It is a very fine ship, and I was truly edified bythe sight of all its accommodations, ingenuity, utility, cleanliness, and contrivances. A man-of-war, fitted out andmanned, - is a glorious and a fearful sight! In going over the ship we came to the midshipmen's mess, andthose young officers were at dinner, but we were taken in: theywere lighted by a few candles fastened to the wall in sockets. Involuntarily I exclaimed, "Dining by candle-light at noon-day!" A midshipman, starting forward, said, "Yes', ma'am, and AdmiralLord Hood did the same for seven years following!" I liked his spirit so much that I turned to him, and said I wasvery glad they looked forward to such an example, for I had abrother in the service, which gave me a warm interest in itsprosperity. This made the midshipman so much my friend, that weentered into a detailed discourse upon the accommodations oftheir cabin, mess, etc. , and various other matters. I liked himmuch, though I know not his name; but my constant CaptainDuckworth kept me again wholly to his own cicerone-ing, when Iturned out of the cabin. A little, however, he was mortified to find me a coward upon thewater. I assured him he should cure me if he could convince methere was no reason for fear. He would not allow of any, butcould not disprove it. "Tell me, " I said, "and honestly, --should we be overturned in theboat while out at sea, what would prevent our being drowned?" Hewould not suppose such an accident possible. I pressed him, however, upon the possibility it might happen oncein a century, and he could not help laughing, and answered, "O, we should pick you all up!" --I desired to know by what means. "Instruments, " he said. I forced him, after a long and comicresistance, to show me them. Good heaven! they werethree-pronged iron forks, --very tridents of Neptune! I exclaimed with great horror, "These!---why, they would tear thebody to pieces!" "O, " answered he calmly, "one must not think of legs and armswhen life is in danger. " I would not, however, under such protection, refuse sailing roundMount-Edgecumbe, which we did in Captain Molloy's boat, and justat the time when the royals, in sundry garden- Page 327 chairs, were driving about the place. It was a beautiful viewthe situation is delightful. But Captain Molloy was not in thebest harmony with its owners, as they had disappointed hisexpectations of an Invitation to dinner. A DAY AT MOUNT-EDGECUMBE. Aug. 24. -To-day the royals went to Marystow, Colonel Heywood's, and Miss Planta and myself to Mount-Edgecumbe. The queen haddesired me to take Miss Planta, and I had written to prepare LadyMount-Edgecumbe for a companion. We went in a chaise to the ferry, and thence in a boat. I didnot like this part of the business, for we had no pilot we knew, nor any one to direct us. They would hardly believe, atMount-Edgecumbe, we had adventured in so unguarded a manner: butour superior is too high to discover difficulties, or know commonprecautions ; and we fare, therefore, considerably worse in allthese excursions, from belonging to crowned heads, than we shoulddo in our own private stations, if visiting at any part of thekingdom. Safe, however, though not pleasantly, we arrived on the oppositeshore ; when we found a gardener and a very commodiousgarden-chair waiting for us. We drove through a sweet park tothe house, at the gate of which stood Lord and LadyMount-Edgecumbe, who told us that they had just heard anintention of their majesties to sail the next day up the RiverTamer, and therefore they thought it their duty to hasten off toa seat they have near its banks, Coteil, with refreshments andaccommodations, in case they should be honoured with a visit tosee the place, which was very ancient and curious. They shouldleave Lord Valletort to do the honours, and expressed much civilregret in the circumstance: but the distance was too great toadmit of the journey, over bad roads, if they deferred it tillafter dinner. We then proceeded, in the chair, to see the place: it is trulynoble; but I shall enter into no description from want of time:take a list simply of its particular points. The sea, in someplaces, shows itself in its whole vast and unlimited expanse; atothers, the jutting land renders it merely a beautiful basin orcanal: the borders down to the sea are in some parts flourishingwith the finest evergreens and most vivid verdure, and in othersare barren, rocky, and perilous. In one moment you might supposeyourself cast on a desert island, Page 328 and the next find yourself in the most fertile and luxurious country. In different views we were shown Cawsand bay, theHamoaze, the rocks called "the Maker, " etc. , --Dartmoor hills, Plymouth, the dockyard, Saltram, and St. George's channel. Several noble ships, manned and commissioned -were in the Hamoazeamongst them our Weymouth friends' the Magnificent andSouthampton. A very beautiful flower-garden is enclosed in one part of thegrounds ; and huts, seats, and ornaments in general, were welladapted to the scenery of the place. A seat is consecrated toMrs. Damer, (316) with an acrostic on her name by Lord Valletort. It is surprising to see the state of vegetation at this place, soclose to the main. Myrtles, pomegranates, everg. Reens, andflowering shrubs, all thrive, and stand the cold blast, whenplanted in a southern aspect, as safely as in an inland country. As it is a peninsula, it has all aspects, and the plantations anddispositions of the ground are admirably and skilfully assortedto them. The great open view, however, disappointed me : the towns itshows have no prominent features, the country is as flat as it isextensive, and the various branches of the sea which run into itgive, upon their retreat, a marshy, muddy, unpleasant appearance. There is, besides, a want of some one striking object to arrestthe eye, and fix the attention, which wearies from the generalglare. Points, however, there are, both of the sublime andbeautiful, that merit all the fame which this noble place hasacquired. In our tour around it we met Lord Stopford, Mr. Townshend, andCaptain Douglas ; and heard a tremendous account of the rage ofthe sea-captains, on being disappointed of a dinner at the royalvisit to Mount-Edgecumbe. We did not quit these fine grounds till near dinner-time. Thehousekeeper then showed us the house, and a set of apartmentsnewly fitted up for the royals, had they chosen to sleep atMount-Edgecumbe. The house is old, and seems pleasant andconvenient. Page 329 In a very pretty circular parlour, which had the appearance ofbeing the chief living room, I saw amongst a small collection ofbooks, "Cecilia. " I immediately laid a wager with myself thefirst volume would open upon Pacchierotti; and I won it veryhonestly, though I never expect to be paid it. The chapter, "AnOpera Rehearsal, " was so well read, the leaves always flew apartto display it. The library is an exceeding good room, and seems charminglyfurnished. Here Lord Valletort received us. His lady wasconfined to her room by indisposition. He is a most neat littlebeau, and his face has the roses and lilies as finely blended asthat of his pretty young wife. He was extremely civil andattentive, and appears to be really amiable in his disposition. Mr. Brett, a plain, sensible, conversible man, who has an estatein the neighbourhood, dined with us; and a young Frenchman. Thedinner was very cheerful: my lord, at the head of the table, looked only like his lady in a riding-dress. However, hereceived one mortifying trial of his temper - he had sent torequest sailing up the Tamer next day with Sir Richard Bickerton;and he had a blunt refusal, in a note, during our repast. Not anofficer in the fleet would accommodate him; their resentment ofthe dinner slight is quite vehement. We returned home the same way we came; the good-natured littlelord, and Mr. Brett also, quite shocked we had no better guard orcare taken of us. MR. FAIRLY ON A COURT LIFE. Weymouth, Sunday, Sept. 6. -This evening, the royals and theirtrain all went again to the rooms to drink their tea. MissPlanta and myself were taking ours quietly together, and I wasfinishing a charming sermon of Blair while she was running oversome old newspapers, when, suddenly, but very gently, theroom-door was opened, and then I heard, "Will Miss Burney permitme to come in, and give me a dish of tea?" 'Twas Mr. Fairly. He said we were to go on Monday se'nnight to Lord Bath's, onWednesday to Lord Aylesbury's, and on Friday to return toWindsor. He was himself to be discharged some days sooner, as heshould not be wanted on the road. He said many things relative -to Court lives and situations: with respect, deference, and regard invariable, mentioned the leadingindividuals ; but said nothing could be so weak as to Page 330 look there, in such stations, for such impossibilities assympathy, friendship, or cordiality ! And he finished withsaying, "People forget themselves who look for them!" Such, however, is not my feeling ; and I am satisfied he has metwith some unexpected coldness. Miss Planta being present, heexplained only in generals. A BRIEF SOJOURN AT LONGLEAT. Monday, Sept. 14. -We all left Weymouth. All possible honourswere paid the king on his departure; lords, ladies, and sea-officers, lined the way that he passed, the guns of theMagnificent and Southampton fired the parting salute, and theships were under sail. We all set out as before, but parted on the road. The royalswent to breakfast at Redlinch, the seat of Lord Ilchester, whereMr, Fairly(317) was in waiting for them, and thence proceeded toa collation at Sherborne Castle, whither he was to accompanythem, and then resign his present attendance, which has been longand troublesome and irksome, I am sure. Miss Planta and myself proceeded to Longleat, the seat of theMarquis of Bath, late Lord Weymouth; where we were all to dine, sleep, and spend the following day and night. Longleat wasformerly the dwelling of the Earl of Lansdowne, uncle to Mrs. Delany; and here, at this seat, that heartless uncle, to promotesome political views, sacrificed his incomparable niece, at theage of seventeen, marrying her to an unwieldly, uncultivated, country esquire, near sixty years of age, and scarce ever sober--his name Pendarves. With how sad an awe, in recollecting her submissive unhappiness, did I enter these doors!--and with what indignant hatred did Ilook at the portrait of the unfeeling earl, to whom her gentlerepugnance, shown by almost incessant tears, was thrown away, asif she, her person, and her existence were nothing in the scale, where the disposition of a few boroughs opposed them! Yet wasthis the famous Granville--the poet, the fine gentleman, thestatesman, the friend and patron of Pope, of whom he wrote-- "What Muse for Granville can refuse to sing?" Mine, I am sure, for one. Page 331 Lady Bath showed us our rooms, to which we repaired immediately, to dress before the arrival of the royals. We dined with the gentlemen, all but the marquis, who wasadmitted, in his own house, to dine with the king and queen, aswere all the ladies of his family. Lord Weymouth, the eldestson, was our president; and two of his brothers, Lords George andJohn, with Lord Courtown and the two colonels, made the party. The Weymouths, Thynnes rather, are silent, and we had but littletalk or entertainment. The house is very magnificent, and of in immense magnitude. Itseems much out of repair, and by no means cheerful orcomfortable. Gloomy grandeur seems the proper epithet for thebuilding and its fitting-up. It had been designed for amonastery, and as such was nearly completed when Henry VIII. Dissolved those seminaries. It was finished as a- dwelling-housein the reign of his son, by one of the Thynnes, who was knighted in a field of battle by the protectorSomerset. (318) Many things in the house, and many queer old portraits, affordedme matter of Speculation, and would have filled up more time thanI had to bestow. There are portraits of Jane Shore and FairRosamond, which have some marks of originality, being miserabledaubs, yet from evidently beautiful subjects. Arabella Stuart isalso at full length, and King Charleses and Jameses in abundance, with their queens, brethren, and cousins. There are galleries inthis house of the dimensions of college halls. The state rooms on the ground floor are very handsome but thequeer antique little old corners, cells, recesses, "passages thatlead to nothing, " unexpected openings, and abrupt stoppages, withthe quaint devices of various old-fashioned ornaments, amused methe most. Page 332 My bed-room was furnished with crimson velvet, bed included, yetso high, though only the second story, that it made me giddy tolook into the park, and tired to wind up the flight of stairs. It was formerly the favourite room, the housekeeper told me, ofBishop Ken, who put on his shroud in it before he died. Had Ifancied I had seen his ghost, I might have screamed my voiceaway, unheard by any assistant to lay it; for so far was I fromthe rest of the habitable part of the mansion, that not the lungsof Mr. Bruce could have availed me. (319) The park is noble and spacious. It was filled with countryfolks, permitted to enter that they might see their sovereigns, and it looked as gay without as it seemed gloomy within. Thepeople were dressed in their best, as if they came to a fair ;and such shouts and hallooings ensued, whenever the king appearedat a window, that the whole building rang again with thevibration. Nothing upon earth can be more gratifying than thesight of this dear and excellent king thus loved and received byall descriptions of his subjects. TOTTENHAM COURT: RETURN TO WINDSOR. Sept. 16. -We set out, amidst the acclamations of a multitude, from Longleat for Tottenham park, the seat of Lord Aylesbury. The park is of great extent and moderate beauty. The house isvery well. We had only our own party, the three gentlemen, at dinner andbreakfast. These gentlemen only dine with the king when he keepshouse, and keeps it incog. Himself. At Tottenham park, only myLord Aylesbury, as master of the house, was admitted. He and hislady were both extremely desirous to make all their guestscomfortable ; and Lady Aylesbury very politely offered me the useof her own collection of books. But I found, at the top of thehouse, a very large old library, in which there were sundryuncommon and curious old English tracts, that afforded me muchentertainment. 'Tis a library of long standing. Here are many original portraits also, that offer enough forspeculation. A "Bloody Mary, " by Sir Anthony More, which I sawwith much curiosity, and liked better than I expected. Thebeautiful Duchesses of Cleveland and Portsmouth, I fancy Page 333 by Kneller; but we had no cicerone. A very fine picture of alady in black, that I can credit to be Vandyke, but who else canI know not. Several portraits by Sir Peter Lely, extremely softand pleasing, and of subjects uncommonly beautiful; many by SirGodfrey Kneller, well enough; and many more by Sir SomethingThornhill, (320) very thick and heavy. The good lord of the mansion put up a new bed for the king andqueen that cost him nine hundred pounds. Two things I heard here with concern-that my godmother, Mrs. Greville, was dead; and that poor Sir Joshua Reynolds had lostthe sight of one of his eyes. (321) Sept. 18. -We left Tottenham Court, and returned to Windsor. Theroyals hastened to the younger princesses, and I to Mrs. Schwellenberg. I was civilly received, however. But deadly deadsunk my heart as I entered her apartment. The next day I had a visit from my dear brother Charles full ofbusiness, letters, etc. I rejoiced to see him, and to confabover all his affairs, plans, and visions, more at full lengththan for a long time past. I was forced to introduce him to Mrs. Schwellenberg, and he flourished away successfully enough; but itwas very vexatious, as he had matters innumerable for discussion. (305) The palace of Kew. -ED. (306) See ante, p. 44. -ED. (307) The Duke of Clarence, third son of George III. ; afterwardsWilliam IV. -ED. (308) The Jessamy Bride. " See ante, vol. I, p. 111. -ED. (309) "Observations and Reflections made in the course of aJourney through France, Italy, and Germany, " by published in1789. (310) "The Midnight Hour, " a comedy by Mrs. Inchbald, well knownas the authoress of "A Simple Story, " and "Nature and Art, " wasoriginally produced at Covent Garden, May 22, 1787. "TheCommissary, " a comedy by Samuel Foote, partly taken from "LeBourgeois Gentilhomme, " was first performed at the Haymarket inJune, 1765. Mr. Quick and Mrs. Wells were popular comedians ofthe time. -ED. (311) In "The Provoked Husband, " by Vanbrugh and Cibber. -ED. (312) Sir Ashton Lever was noted for his extensive and valuablecollection of objects of natural history. In 1775 he opened amuseum in Leicester Square, in which his collection was shown tothe public; but ten years later he was compelled to dispose ofit. The new proprietor exhibited the collection for some years, but it was finally sold and dispersed. -ED. (312) Maria Anne Smythe was born in 1756, and married, in 1775, Edward Weld of Lulworth Castle. He died within a year, and shemarried, in 1778, Thomas Fitzherbert of Swinnerton, Staffordshire, who died in 1781. In December, 1785, Mrs. Fitzherbert was privately married to the Prince of Wales. Themarriage was never publicly recognised, and its legality wasperhaps disputable: for by the Act of 1772 the marriage of anymember of the Royal family under the age of twenty-five withoutthe king's consent, was declared invalid, and at the date of hismarriage with the beautiful Mrs Fitzherbert, the Prince was buttwenty-three years of age. He always treated her as his wife, however, and she was received in society. She continued to livewith him even after his marriage with the Princess Caroline, andfinally parted from him in 1803, retiring with an allowance of6, 000 pounds a year to Brighton, where she died in 1837. -ED. (313) A character in Colman's comedy of "The Jealous Wife. "-ED. (314) Sisters--the Italian word. -ED. (315) Dock is now called Devonport. -ED. (316) The lady-sculptor, the Hon. Mrs. Damer, daughter of GeneralConway and kinswoman of Horace Walpole, who bequeathed to her, for the term of her life, his villa at Strawberry Hill. Herperformances in sculpture were of no great merit, but wereprodigiously admired by Horace Walpole, who had a notoriousweakness for the works of persons of quality. Mrs. Damer was astaunch whig, and canvassed Westminster on behalf of Charles Foxat the election of 1784, in company with the Duchess ofDevonshire and Mrs. Crewe. -ED. (317) His late wife, it will be remembered, was a daughter ofLord Ilchester. -ED. (318) Longleat, in Wiltshire, was never intended for a monastery, but Was built from a design, it is said, by John of Padua, forSir John Thynne, who was knighted by Somerset on the field, afterthe battle of Pinkie. Sir John's descendant, Thomas Thynne, Esq. , of Longleat, the wealthy friend of Monmouth, and the "wiseIssachar" of Dryden's "Absalom and Achitophel, " was murdered inhis coach in Pall-Mall (February 12, 1682), by the contrivance ofCount Koenigsmark, who was tried for the murder and acquitted, although his confederates, the actual perpetrators of the crime, were hanged for it. Thomas Thynne was succeeded in his estatesby his cousin, Sir Thomas Thynne, who was the same year createdBaron Thynne and Viscount Weymouth, titles which have descendedin the family, and to which that of Marquis of Bath has sincebeen added. " (See "Count Koenigsmark and Tom of Ten Thousand, " byH. Vizetelly, London, 1890. )-ED. (319) James Bruce, the famous African traveller, made theacquaintance of the Burney family in 1775. He was about sevenfeet in height. In her early letters to Mr. Crisp, Fanny callshim the "man-mountain. "-ED. (320) Sir James Thornhill, the father-in-law of Hogarth. -ED. (321) "One day, in the month of July, 1789, while finishing theportrait of the Marchioness of Hereford, he felt a sudden decayof sight in his left eye. He laid down the pencil, sat a littlewhile in mute consideration, and never lifted it more. His sightgradually darkened, and within ten weeks of the first attack hisleft eye was wholly blind. " (Allan Cunningham. ) For some timeafter this he attended to his duties as President of the RoyalAcademy, and he delivered his last address to the students in1790. Sir Joshua died in his sixty-ninth year, February 23, 1792-ED. Page 334 SECTION 16. (1789-90. ) MR. FAIRLY'S'MARRIAGE: THE HASTINGS TRIAL, RUMOURS OF MR. FAIRLY'S IMPENDING MARRIAGE. Colonel Gwynn told us, at tea-time, of the wonderfulrecovery of Colonel Goldsworthy, who has had an almost desperateillness; and then added that he had dined the preceding day withhim, and met Mr. Fairly, who was coming to Windsor, and allprepared, when he was suddenly stopped, on the very precedingevening, by a fresh attack of the gout. I heard this with much concern, and made many inquiries, whichwere presently interrupted by an exclamation of Major Garth, whowas now in waiting: "The gout?" he cried: "nay, then, it is timehe should get a nurse; and, indeed, I hear he has one in view. "Colonel Gwynn instantly turned short, with a very significantsmile of triumph, towards me, that seemed to confirm thisassertion, while it exulted in his own prediction at Cheltenham. The following morning, while I was alone with my royal mistress, she mentioned Mr. Fairly for the first time since we leftWeymouth. It was to express much displeasure against him: e hadmisled Lord Aylesbury about the ensuing Drawing-room, byaffirming there would be none this month. After saying how wrongthis was, and hearing me venture to answer I could not doubt buthe must have had some reason, which, if known, might account forhis mistake, she suddenly, and with some severity of accent, said, "He will not come Page 335 here! For some reason or other he does not choose it! He cannotbear to come!" How was I amazed! and silenced pretty effectually She then added, "He has set his head against coming. I know hehas been in town some considerable time, but he has desired itmay not be told here. I know, too, that when he has been met inthe streets, he has called out, 'For heaven's sake, if you aregoing to Windsor, do not say you have seen me. '" Nov. 18. -We were to go to town: but while I was taking my hastybreakfast Miss Planta flew into the room, eagerly exclaiming, "Have you heard the news?" I saw, instantly, by her eyes andmanner, what she meant and therefore answered, "I believe so. " "Mr. Fairly is going to be married! I resolved I would tellyou. " I heard the rumour, " I replied, "the other day, from ColonelGwynn. " "O, it's true!" she cried; "he has written to ask leave; but forheaven's sake don't say so!" I gave her my ready promise, for I believed not a syllable of thematter; but I would not tell her that. A ROYAL VISIT TO THE THEATRE: JAMMED IN THE CROWD. We went to town not only for the Drawing-room on the next day, but also for the play on this Wednesday night, (322) and the partyappointed to sit in the queen's private box, as, on theseoccasions, the balcony-box opposite to the royals is called, dined with Mrs. Schwellenberg, --namely, Mrs. Stainforth, MissPlanta, Mr. De Luc, and Mr. Thomas Willis, When we arrived at the playhouse(323) we found the lobby and allthe avenues so crowded, that it was with the utmost difficulty weforced our way up the stairs. It was the first appearance of thegood king at the theatre since his illness. When we got up stairs, we were stopped effectually: there was notroom for a fly ; and though our box was not only taken and kept, but partitioned off, to get to it was wholly impracticable. Mr. Willis and Miss Planta protested they would go down Page 336 again, and remonstrate with Mr. Harris, the manager; and I mustown the scene that followed was not unentertaining. Mrs. Stainforth and myself were fast fixed in an angle at the cornerof the stairs, and Mr. De Luc stood in the midst of the crowd, where he began offering so many grave arguments, with suchdeliberation and precision, every now and then going back in hisreasoning to correct his own English, representing our right toproceed, and the wrong of not making way for us, that it wasirresistibly comic to see the people stare, as they pushed On, and to see his unconscious content in their passing him, so longas he completed his expostulations on their indecorum. Meanwhile, poor Mrs. Stainforth lost her cloak, and in her loudlamentations, and calls upon all present to witness her distress(to which, for enhancing its importance, she continually added, "Whoever has found it should bring it to the Queen's house"), sheoccupied the attention of all upon the stairs as completely as itwas occupied by Mr. De Luc for all in 'the passages : but, alas!neither the philosophic harangue of the one, nor the royaldignity of the other, prevailed; and while there we stood, expecting an avenue to be formed, either for our eloquence or ourconsequence, not an inch of ground did we gain, and those who hadneither made their way, and got on in multitudes. Offended, at length, as well as tired, Mrs. Stainforth proposedour going down, and waiting in the lobby, till Mr. Harrisarrived. Here we were joined by a gentleman, whose manner offixing me showed a half-recollection of my face, which Iprecisely returned him, without being able to recollect where Ihad seen him before. He spoke to Mrs. Stainforth, who answeredas if she knew him, and then he came to me and offered to assistin getting me to my box. I told him the manager had already beensent to. He did not, however, go off, but entered intoconversation upon the crowd, play, etc. , with the ease of an oldacquaintance. I took the first opportunity to inquire of Mrs. Stainforth who he was, and heard--Lord Mountmorres, whom you mayremember I met with at the theatre at Cheltenham. What, however, was ridiculous though was, that, after aconsiderable length of time, he asked me who Mrs. Stainforth was, and I afterwards heard he had made the same inquiry of herselfabout me! The difference of a dressed and undressed head hadoccasioned, I suppose, the doubt. The moment, Page 337 however, he had completely satisfied himself in this, he fairlyjoined me, as if he had naturally belonged to our party. And itturned out very acceptable, for we were involved in all such sortof difficulties as our philosopher was the least adapted toremove. We now went about, in and out, up and down, but without any powerto make way, the crowd every instant thickening. We then werefain to return to our quiet post, behind the side-boxes in thelobby, where we remained till the arrival of the king, and thenwere somewhat recompensed for missing the sight of his entrance, by hearing the sound of his reception: for so violent an huzzaingcommenced, such thundering clapping, knocking with sticks, andshouting, and so universal a chorus of "God save the king, " thatnot all the inconveniences of my situation could keep my heartfrom beating with joy, nor my eyes from running over withgratitude for its occasion. Lord Mountmorres, who joined in the stick part of the generalplaudit, exclaimed frequently, "What popularity is this! how fineto a man's feelings! yet he Must find it embarrassing. " Indeed Ishould suppose he could with difficulty bear it, 'Twas almostadoration! How much I lament that I lost the sight of his benigncountenance, during such glorious moments as the most favouredmonarchs can scarce enjoy twice in the longest life! Miss Planta and Mr. Willis now returned: they had had no success;Mr. Harris said they might as well stem the tide of the ocean asoppose or rule such a crowd. The play now began ; and LordMountmorres went away to reconnoitre, but, presently returning, said, "If you will trust yourselves with me I will show you yourchance. " And then he conducted me to the foot of the stairsleading to our box, which exhibited such a mass of livingcreatures, that the insects of an ant-hill could scarce be morecompact. We were passed by Lord Stopford, Captain Douglas, and some otherof our acquaintance, who told us of similar distresses; and inthis manner passed the first act! The boxkeeper came and toldLord Mountmorres he could now give his lordship one seat: but thehumours of the lobby he now preferred, and refused the place:though I repeatedly begged that we might not detain him. But hewas determined to see us safe landed before he left us. Page 338 Mr. Harris now came again, and proposed taking us another way, totry to get up some back-stairs. We then went behind the scenesfor this purpose : but here Mr. Harris was called away, and wewere left upon the stage. Lord Mountmorres led me to variouspeep-holes, where I could at least have the satisfaction ofseeing the king and royal family, as well as the people, and thewhole was a sight most grateful to my eyes. So civil, however, and so attentive he was, that a new perplexitynow occurred to me : he had given up his place, and had taken somuch trouble, that I thought, if we at last got to our box, hewould certainly expect to be accommodated. In it. And to takeany one, without previous permission, into the queen's privatebox, and immediately facing their majesties, was a liberty I knewnot how to risk ; and, in truth, I knew not enough of his presentpolitics to be at all sure if they might not be even peculiarlyobnoxious. This consideration, therefore, began now so much toreconcile me to this emigrant evening, that I ceased even to wishfor recovering our box. IN THE MANAGER's Box. When Mr. Harris came back, he said he had nothing to propose buthis own box, which was readily accepted. To this our access waseasy, as it was over the king and queen, and consequently notdesirable to those who came to see them. I too now preferred it, as it was out of their sight, and enabled me to tell LordMountmorres, who led me to it through the crowd with unceasingtrouble and attention, that till he could get better accommodateda place was at his service. He closed instantly with the offer, placing himself behind me ;but said he saw some of his relations in the opposite stage-box, Lady Mornington and her beautiful daughter Lady Ann Wellesley, and, as soon as the act was over, he would go down and persuadethem to make room for him. I was shocked, however, after all this, to hear him own himselfglad to sit down, as he was still rather lame, from a dreadfuloverturn in a carriage, in which his leg had been nearly crushedby being caught within the coach-door, which beat down upon it, and almost demolished it. This anecdote, however, led to another more pleasant; for itbrought on a conversation which showed me his present principles, at least, were all on the government side. The accident hadhappened during a Journey to Chester, in his way to Page 339 Ireland, whither he was hastening upon the Regency business, lastwinter: and he went to the Irish House of Peers the first time hequitted his room, after a confinement of three weeks from thisterrible bruise. "But how, " cried I, "could you stand?" "I did not stand, " he answered; "they indulged me with leave tospeak sitting. " "What a useful opening, then, my lord, " cried I, "did you losefor every new paragraph!" I meant, the cant of "Now I am upon mylegs. " He understood it instantly, and laughed heartily, protesting it was no small detriment to his oratory. The play was the "Dramatist, "(324) written with that species ofhumour in caricature that resembles O'Keefe's performances; fullof absurdities, yet laughable in the extreme. We heard very ill, and, missing the beginning, we understood still worse: so that, in fact, I was indebted to my new associate for all theentertainment I received the whole evening. When the act was over, the place on which he had cast his eye, near Lady Mornington, was seized; he laughed, put down his hat, and composed himself quietly for remaining where he was. He mustbe a man of a singular character, though of what sort I know not:but in his conversation he showed much information, and aspirited desire of interchanging ideas with those who came in hisway. We talked a great deal of France, and he related to me a varietyof anecdotes just fresh imported thence. He was there at thefirst assembling of the Notables, and he saw, he said impendinggreat events from that assemblage. The two most remarkablethings that had struck him, he told me, in this wonderfulrevolution, were--first, that the French guards should ever giveup their king; and secondly, that the chief spirit and capacityhither-to shown amongst individuals had come from theecclesiastics. He is very much of the opinion the spirit of the times will comeround to this island. In what, I asked, could be its pretence?--The game-laws, he answered, and the tithes. He told me, also, agreat deal of Ireland, and enlarged my political knowledgeabundantly, --but I shall not be so generous, my dear friends, asto let you into all these state matters. But I must tell you a good sort of quirk of Mr. Wilkes, who, when the power of the mob and their cruelty were first reciting, Page 340 quarrelled with a gentleman for saying the French government wasbecome a democracy and asserted it was rather a mobocracy. Thepit, he said, reminded him of a sight he once saw in WestminsterHall, --a floor of faces. He was a candidate for Westminster at that time, with CharlesFox!--thus do we veer about. At the end of the farce, "God save the king" was mostvociferously called for from all parts of the theatre, and allthe singers of the theatre came on the stage to sing it, joinedby the whole audience, who kept it up till the sovereign of hispeople's hearts left the house. It was noble and heart-meltingat once to hear and see such loyal rapture, and to feel and knowit so deserved. MR. FAIRLY'S MARRIAGE IMMINENT. NOV. 20. -Some business sent me to speak with Miss Planta beforeour journey back to Windsor. When it was executed and I wascoming away, she called out, "O! Špropos--it's all declared, andthe princesses wished Miss Fuzilier joy yesterday in theDrawing-room. She looked remarkably well ; but said Mr. Fairlyhad still a little gout, and could not appear. " Now first my belief followed assertion;--but it was only becauseit was inevitable, since the princesses could not have proceededso far without certainty. . . . . . We returned to Windsor as usual, and there I was, just as usual, obliged to finish every evening with picquet !--and to pass alland every afternoon, from dinner to midnight, in picquet company. Nov. 28. -The queen, after a very long airing, came * in to dress, and summoned me immediately; and in two minutes the princessroyal entered, and said something in German, and then added, "AndMr. Fairly, ma'am, begs he may see you a moment, now, ifpossible. " This is his first coming to the house since her royal highness'sbirthday, just two months ago. "I am very sorry, " was answered coolly, "but I am going todress. " "He won't keep you a moment, mamma, only he wants to get on toSt. Leonards to dinner, " Miss Fuzilier is now there. " "Well, then, " she answered, "I'll slip on my powdering-gown, andsee him. " Page 341 I found, however, they had already met, probably in thepassage, for the queen added, "How melancholy he looks, does nothe, princess royal?" "Yes, indeed, mamma!"--They then again talked ' German. The princess then went to call him ; and I hastened into the nextroom, with some caps just then inspecting. Mr. Turbulent again dined with us, and said, "I find Mr. Fairlyis here to-day? when is he to be married?" Mrs. Schwellenberg reproved him for talking of "soch things:" sheholds it petty treason to speak of it, as they are both in officeabout the Court; though she confessed it would be in a fortnight. At tea, when the gentlemen--General Budé, Majors Price and Garth, and Mr. Willis--appeared, she said, "Where be Mr. Fairly?" Theyall exclaimed, "Is he here?" "O, certain, if he ben't gone!" I then said he had gone on to St. Leonards. They all expressed the utmost surprise that he should come, andgo, and see none of them. When they retired, Mrs. Schwellenberg exclaimed, "For what notstay one night? For what not go to the gentlemen? It looks likewhen he been ashamed. --O fie! I don't not like soch ting. Andfor what always say contrarie?--always say to everybody he won'tnot have her!--There might be something wrong in all that--itlooks not well. " I saw a strong desire to have me enter into the merits of thecase; but I constantly answer to these exclamations, that thesesort of situations are regarded in the world as licensing denialsfirst, and truancy from all others afterwards. COURT DUTIES DISCUSSED. December. -Let me now, to enliven you a little, introduce to you anew acquaintance, self-made, that I meet at the chapel, and whoalways sits next me when there is room, -- Mrs. J--, wife to theBishop of K--: and before the service begins, she enters intosmall talk, with a pretty tolerable degree of frankness, not muchrepressed by scruples of delicacy. Take a specimen. She opened, the other morning, upon mysituation and occupation, and made the most plump inquiries intoits particulars, with a sort of hearty good humour Page 342 that removed all impertinence, whatever it left of inelegance andthen began her comments. "Well; the queen, to be sure, is a great deal better dressed thanshe used to be; but for all that, I really think it is but an oddthing for you!--Dear! I think it's something so out of the wayfor you!--I can't think how you set about it. It must have beenvery droll to you at first. A great deal of honour, to be sure, to serve a queen, and all that: but I dare say a lady's-maidcould do it better, --though to be called about a queen, as I say, is a great deal of honour: but, for my part, I should not likeit; because to be always obliged to go to a person, whether onewas in the humour or not, and to get up in a morning, if one wasnever so sleepy!--dear! it must be a mighty hurry-skurry life!you don't look at all fit for it, to judge by appearances, forall its great honour, and all that. " Is not this a fit bishop's wife? is not here primitive candourand veracity? I laughed most heartily, --and we have now commencedacquaintance for these occasional meetings. If this honest dame does not think me fit for this part of mybusiness, there is another person, Mlle. Montmoulin, who, withequal simplicity, expresses her idea of my unfitness for anotherpart. -- How you bear it, " she cries, "living with Mrs. Schwellenberg!--I like it better living in prison!--'ponm'honneur, I prefer it bread and water; I think her so crossnever was. If I you, I won't bear it--poor Miss Burney!--I sosorry!--'pon m'honneur, I think to you oftens!--you so confined, you won't have no pleasures!--" Miss Gomme, less plaintive, but more solemn, declared the otherday, "I am sure you must go to heaven for living thislife!"---So, at least, you see, though in a court, I am not anobject of envy. MR. FAIRLY'S STRANGE WEDDING. January, 1790. -Mr. Fairly was married the 6th--I must wishhappiness to smile on that day, and all its anniversaries, itgave a happiness to me unequalled, for it was the birthday of mySusanna! One evening, about this time, Mr. Fisher, now Doctor, drank teawith us at Windsor, and gave me an account of Mr. Fairly'smarriage that much amazed me. He had been called upon to performthe ceremony. It was by special licence, and at the house of SirR- G-. (325) @ Page 343 So religious, so strict in all ceremonies, even, of religion, ashe always appeared, his marrying out of a church was to me veryunexpected. Dr. Fisher was himself surprised, when called upon, and said he supposed it must be to please the lady. Nothing, he owned, could be less formal or solemn than the whole. Lady C. , Mrs. And Miss S. , and her father and brother and sister, were present. They all dined together at the usual hour, 'andthen the ladies, as usual, retired. Some time after, the clerkwas sent for, and then, with the gentlemen, joined the ladies, who were in the drawing-room, seated on sofas, just as at anyother time, Dr. Fisher says he is not sure they were working, butthe air of common employment was such, that he rather thinks it, and everything of that sort was spread about as on any commonday--workboxes, netting-cases, etc. Mr. Fairly then asked Dr. Fisher what they were to do? He answered, he could not tell; forhe had never married anybody in a room before. Upon this, they agreed to move a table to the upper end of theroom, the ladies still sitting quietly, and then Put on itcandles and a prayer-book. Dr. Fisher says he hopes it was not acard-table, and rather believes it was only a Pembrokework-table. The lady and Sir R. Then came forward, and Dr. Fisher read the service. So this, methinks, seems the way to make all things easy! Yet--with so little solemnity-without even a room prepared andempty--to go through a business of such portentous seriousness!--'Tis truly amazing from a man who seemed to delight so much inreligious regulations and observances. Dr. Fisher himself wasdissatisfied, and wondered at his compliance, though heattributed the plan to the lady. The bride behaved extremely well, he said, and was all smile andcomplacency. He had never seen her to such advantage, or in suchsoft looks, before; and perfectly serene, though her sister wasso much moved as to go into hysterics. Afterwards, at seven o'clock, the bride and bride-groom set offfor a friend's house in Hertfordshire by themselves, attended byservants with white favours. The rest of the party, father, sister, and priest included, went to the play, which happened tobe Benedict. Page 344 A VISIT FROM THE BRIDE. I shall say nothing of the queen's birthday, but that I had amost beautiful trimming worked me for it by Miss Cambridge, whohalf fatigued herself to death, for the kind pleasure that Ishould have my decorations from her hands. If in some points mylot has been unenviable, what a constant solace, what sweet andsoft amends, do I find and feel in the almost unexampled union ofkindness and excellence in my chosen friends! The day after the birthday produced a curious scene. To softenoff, by the air, a violent headache, I determined upon walking toChelsea to see my dear father. I knew I should thus avoidnumerous visitors of the household, who might pay their devoirsto Mrs. Schwellenberg. I missed my errand, and speedily returned, and found many cardsfrom bed-chamber women and maids of honour; and, while stillreading them, I was honoured with a call from the Bishop ofSalisbury; and in two minutes my dear father came himself. A pleasant conversation was commencing, when Columb opened thedoor, and said, "Colonel Fairly begs leave to ask you how youdo. " He had been married but a week before he came into themidst of all the Court bustle, which he had regularly attendedever since! It was a good while before the door opened again - and I heard abuzz of voices in the passage: but when it was thrown open, thereappeared--the bride herself--and alone! She looked quitebrilliant in smiles and spirits. I never saw a countenance soenlivened. I really believe she has long cherished a passionateregard for Mr. Fairly, and brightens now from its prosperity. I received her with all' the attention in my power, immediatelywishing her joy: she accepted it with a thousand dimples, and Iseated her on the sofa, and myself by her side. Nobody followed;and I left the bishop to my father, while we entered intoconversation, upon the birthday, her new situation in beingexempt from its fatigues, and other matters of the time being. I apologised to Mrs. Fairly for my inability to return the honourof her visit, but readily undertook to inform her majesty of herinquiries, which she earnestly begged from me, Page 345 RENEWAL OF THE HASTINGS TRIAL: A POETICAL IMPROMPTU. Feb. 16-Mr. Hastings's trial re-commenced; and her majestygraciously presented me with tickets for Mr. Francis, Charlotte, and myself. She acknowledged a very great curiosity to knowwhether my old friends amongst the managers would renew theirintercourse with a Court friend, or include me in the distasteconceived against herself, and drop their visits. I had not oncebeen to the trial the preceding year, nor seen any of the setsince the king's illness. We were there hours before they entered, all spent in a harmonyof converse and communication I never for three hours followingcan have elsewhere: no summons impending--no fear of accidentaldelay drawing off attention to official solicitude. At the stated time they entered in the usual form, Mr. Burkefirst. I felt so grieved a resentment of his late conduct, (326)that I was glad to turn away from his countenance. I lookedelsewhere during the whole procession, and their subsequentarrangement, that I might leave totally to themselves and theirconsciences whether to notice a friend from Court or not. Theirconsciences said not. No one came; I only heard throughCharlotte that Mr. Windham was of the set. Mr. Anstruther spoke, and all others took gentle naps! I don'tbelieve he found it out. When all was concluded, I saw one ofthem ascending towards our seats : and presently heard the voiceof Mr. Burke. I wished myself many miles off! 'tis so painful to see with utterdisapprobation those faces we have met, with joy and pleasure! Hecame to speak to some relations of Mr. Anstruther. I was nextthem, and, when recovered from my first repugnance, I thought itbetter to turn round, not to seem leading the way myself to anybreach. I met his eyes immediately, and curtsied. He only said, "O! is it you?" then asked how I did, said something in praiseof Mr. Anstruther, partly to his friends and partly to me--heardfrom me no reply--and hurried away, coldly, and with a lookdissatisfied and uncordial. I was much concerned; and we cameaway soon after. Here is an impromptu, said to have been written by Mr. Page 346 Hastings during Mr. Grey's speech, which was a panegyric on Mr, Philip Francis:-- "It hurts me not, that Grey, , as Burke's assessor, Proclaims me Tyrant, Robber, and Oppressor, Tho' for abuse alone meant: For when he call'd himself the bosom friend, The Friend of Philip Francis, --I con'end He made me full atonement. " I was called upon, on my return, to relate the day's business. Heavy and lame was the relation - but their majesties werecurious, and nothing better suited truth. AN ILLBRED EARL OF CHESTERFIELD. Our tea-party was suddenly enlarged by the entrance of the LordsChesterfield, Bulkley, and Fortescue. Lord Chesterfield broughtin the two latter without any ceremony, and never introduced nornamed them, but chatted off with them apart, as if they were in aroom to themselves: and Colonel Wellbred, to whom all gentlemenhere belong, was out of the room ]if search of a curioussnuff-box that he had promised to show to us. Major Price, whoby great chance was seated next me, jumped up as if so many wildbeasts had entered, and escaped to the other side of the room, and Mr. Willis was only a sharp looker-on. This was awkward enough for a thing so immaterial, as I could noteven ask them to have any tea, from uncertainty how to addressthem; and I believe they were entirely ignorant whither LordChesterfield was bringing them, as they came In only to wait fora royal summons. How would that quintessence of high ton, the late LordChesterfield, blush to behold his successor! who, with much shareof humour, and of good humour also, has as little good breedingas any mail I ever met with. Take an instance. -Lord Bulkley, who is a handsome man, isimmensely tall; the major, who is middle-sized, was standing byhis chair, in close conference with him--"Why, Bulkley, " criedLord Chesterfield, "you are just the height sitting that Price isstanding. " Disconcerted a little, they slightly laughed; but Lord Bulkleyrose, and they walked off to a greater distance. LordChesterfield, looking after them, exclaimed, "What a Page 347 walking steeple he is!--why, Bulkley, you ought to cut off yourlegs to be on a level with society!" When they were all summoned away, except Mr. Willis, who hasnever that honour but in private, he lifted up his hands andeyes, and called out, "I shall pity those men when the book comesout!--I would not be in their skins!" I understood him perfectly, --and answered, truly, that I wasnever affronted more than a minute with those by whom I couldnever longer be pleased. Miss BURNEY IN A NEW CAPACITY. March 2. - In one of our Windsor excursions at this time, while Iwas in her majesty's dressing-room, with only Mr. De Luc present, she suddenly said, "Prepare yourself, Miss Burney, with all yourspirits, for to-night you must be reader. " She then added that she recollected what she had been told by myhonoured Mrs. Delany, of my reading- Shakspeare to her, and wasdesirous that I should read a play to herself and the princesses;and she had lately heard, from Mrs. Schwellenberg, "nobody coulddo it better, when I would. " I assured her majesty it was rather when I could, as any readingMrs. Schwellenberg had heard must wholly have been better orworse according to my spirits, as she had justly seemed tosuggest. The moment coffee was over the Princess Elizabeth came for me. Ifound her majesty knotting, the princess royal drawing, PrincessAugusta spinning, and Lady Courtown I believe in the sameemployment, but I saw none of them perfectly well. "Come, Miss Burney, " cried the queen, " how are your spirits?--How is your voice?" ' "She says, ma'am, " cried the kind Princess Elizabeth, "she shalldo her best!" This had been said in attending her royal highness back. I couldonly confirm it, and that cheerfully-to hide fearfully. I had not the advantage of choosing my play, nor do I know whatwould have been my decision had it fallen to my lot. Hermajesty, had just begun Colman's works, and "Polly Honeycomb" wasto open my campaign. "I think, " cried the queen most graciously, "Miss Burney willread the better for drawing a chair and sitting down, ". Page 348 " yes, mamma! I dare say so!" cried Princess Augusta and PrincessElizabeth, both in a moment. The queen then told me to draw my chair close to her side. Imade no scruples. Heaven knows I needed not the addition ofstanding! but most glad I felt in being placed thus near, as itsaved a constant painful effort of loud reading. "Lady Courtown, " cried the queen, "you had better draw nearer, for Miss Burney has the misfortune of reading rather low atfirst. " Nothing could be more amiable than this opening. Accordingly, Idid, as I had promised, my best; and, indifferent as that was, itwould rather have surprised you, all things considered, that itwas not yet worse. But I exerted all the courage I possess, and, having often read to the queen, I felt how much it behoved me notto let her surmise I had any greater awe to surmount. It is but a vulgar performance; and I was obliged to omit, aswell as I could at sight, several circumstances very unpleasantfor reading, and ill enough fitted for such hearers. It went offpretty flat. Nobody is to comment, nobody is to interrupt; andeven between one act and another not a moment's pause is expectedto be made. I had been already informed of this etiquette by Mr. Turbulentand Miss Planta; nevertheless, it is not only oppressive to thereader, but loses to the hearers so much spirit and satisfaction, that I determined to endeavour, should I again be called upon, tointroduce a little break into this tiresome and unnaturalprofundity of respectful solemnity. My own embarrassment, however, made it agree with me for the present uncommonly well. Lady Courtown never uttered one single word the whole time; yetis she one of the most loquacious of our establishment. But suchis the settled etiquette. The queen has a taste for conversation, and the princesses agood-humoured love for it, that doubles the regret of such anannihilation of all nature and all pleasantry. But what will notprejudice and education inculcate? They have been brought up toannex silence to respect and decorum: to talk, therefore, unbid, or to differ from any given opinion even when called upon, areregarded as high improprieties, if not presumptions. They none of them do justice to their own minds, while theyenforce this subjection upon the minds of others. I had not Page 349 experienced it before ; for when reading alone with the queen, orlistening to her reading to me, I have always frankly spokenalmost whatever has occurred to me. But there I had no otherexamples before me, and therefore I might inoffensively be guidedby myself; and her majesty's continuance of the same honour hasshown no disapprobation of my proceeding. But here it was noteasy to make any decision for myself: to have done what LadyCourtown forbore doing would have been undoubtedly a liberty. So we all behaved alike - and easily can I now conceive thedisappointment and mortification of poor Mr. Garrick when he read"Lethe" to a royal audience. Its tameness must have tamed evenhim, and I doubt not he never acquitted himself so ill. THE LONG-FORGOTTEN TRAGEDY: MISS BURNEY AGAIN AS READER. On Easter Sunday, the 4th of April, when I left my beloved Susanat St. James's, I left with her all spirit for any voluntaryemployment, and it occurred to me I could best while away theleisure allowed me by returning to my long-forgotten tragedy. This I have done, in those moments as yet given to my journal, and it is well I had so sad a resource, since any merrier I musthave aimed at in vain. It was a year and four months since I had looked at or thought ofit. I found nothing but unconnected speeches, and hints, andideas, though enough in quantity, perhaps, for a whole play. Ihave now begun planning and methodising, and have written threeor four regular scenes. I mention all these particulars of myprogress, in answer to certain queries in the comments of mySusan and Fredy, both of old date. Well (for that is my hack, as "however" is my dear Susanna's), weset off rather late for Windsor, -Mr. De Luc, Miss Planta, andmyself; Mrs. Schwellenberg stayed in town. . . . I invited my old beau, as her majesty calls Mr. Bryant, todinner, and he made me my best day out of the ten days of ourWindsor sojourn. He has insisted upon lending me some morebooks, all concerning the most distant parts of the earth, or onsubjects the most abstruse. His singular simplicity inconstantly conceiving that, because to him such books alone arenew, they must have the same recommendation to me, is Page 350 extremely amusing; and though I do all that is possible to clearup the distinction, he never remembers it. The king, for which I was very sorry, did not come Into the room. He made it but one visit, indeed, during this week. He thenconversed almost wholly with General Grenville upon the affairsof France; and in a manner so unaffected, open and manly, sohighly superior to all despotic principles, even while mostcondemning the unlicensed fury of the Parisian mob, that I wishedall the nations of the world to have heard him, that they mighthave known the real existence of a patriot king. Another reading took place, and much more comfortably; it was tothe queen and princesses, without any lady-in-waiting. Thequeen, as before, condescended to order me to sit close to herside; and as I had no model before me, I scrupled much less tofollow the bent of my own ideas by small occasional comments. And these were of use both to body and mind; they rested thelungs from one invariable exertion, as much as they saved themind from one strain of attention. Our play was "The Man of Business, " a very good comedy, but toolocal for long life. And another of Colman's which I readafterwards has the same defect. Half the follies andpeculiarities it satirises are wholly at an end and forgotten. Humour springing from mere dress, or habits, or phraseology, isquickly obsolete; when it sinks deeper, and dives into character, it may live for ever. I dedicated my Wednesday evening to a very comfortable visit toour dear James, whose very good and deserving wife, and finelittle fat children, with our Esther and her fair Marianne andFanny, all cordially conspired to make me happy. We read a gooddeal of Captain Bligh's interesting narrative, (327) Page 351 every word Of which James has taken as much to heart as if itwere his own production. I go on, occasionally, with my tragedy. It does not muchenliven, but it soothes me. COLONEL MANNERS IN HIS SENATORIAL CAPACITY. April 23. --I shall add nothing at present to my Journal but thesummary of a conversation I have had with Colonel Manners, who, at our last excursion, was here without any other gentleman. Knowing he likes to be considered as a senator, I thought thebest subject for our discussion would be the House of Commons; Itherefore made sundry political inquiries, so foreign to My Usualmode, that you would not a little have smiled to have heard them. I had been informed he had once made an attempt to speak, duringthe Regency business, last winter ; I begged to know how thematter stood, and he made a most frank display of its wholecircumstances. "Why, they were speaking away, " he cried, "uponthe Regency, and so, ---and they were saying if the king could notreign, and recover; and Burke was making some of his eloquence, and talking; and, says he, 'hurled from his throne, '---and so Iput out my finger in this manner, as if I was in a great passion, for I felt myself very red, and I was in a monstrous passion Isuppose, but I was only going to say 'Hear! Hear!' but I happenedto lean one hand down upon my knee, in this way, just as Mr. Pittdoes when he wants to speak. - and I stooped forward, just as if Iwas going to rise up and begin but just then I caught Mr. Pitt'seye, looking at me so pitifully; he thought I was going to speak, and he was frightened to death, for he thought--for the thingwas, he got up himself, and he said over all I wanted to say; andthe thing is, he almost always does; for just as I have somethingparticular to say, Mr. Pitt begins, and goes through it all, sothat he don't leave anything more to be said about it; and so, Isuppose, as he looked at me so pitifully, he thought I should sayit first, or else that I Page 352 should get into some scrape, because I was so warm and looking sored. " Any comment would disgrace this; I will therefore only tell youhis opinion, in his own words, of one of our late taxes. "There's only one tax, ma'am, that ever I voted for against myconscience, for I've always been very particular about that; butthat is the bacheldor's tax, and that I hold to be veryunconstitutional, and I am very sorry I voted for it, becauseit's very unfair; for how can a man help being a bacheldor, ifnobody will have him? and besides, it's not any fault to be taxedfor, because We did not make ourselves bacheldors, for we weremade so by God, for nobody was born married, and so I think it'sa very unconstitutional tax. " A CONVERSATION WITH MR. WINDHAM AT THE HASTINGS TRIAL. April 27. -I had the happiness of my dearest Fredy's society inWestminster Hall--if happiness and that place may be namedtogether. The day was mixed: Evidence and Mr. Anstruther weighing it down, and Mr. Burke speaking from time to time, and lighting it up. O, were his purpose worthy his talents, what an effect would hisoratory produce! I always hear him with so much concern, I canscarce rejoice even in being kept awake by him. The day was nearly passed, and I was eating a biscuit to preventan absolute doze while Mr. Anstruther was talking, when, raisingmyself from a listening bend, I turned to the left, and perceivedMr. Windham, who had quietly placed himself by my side withoutspeaking. My surprise was so great, and so totally had I given up all ideaof renewing our conferences, that I could scarce refrainexpressing it. Probably it was visible enough, for he said, asif apologising for coming up, that so to do was the only regaletheir toils allowed them. He then regretted that it was a stupidday, and, with all his old civility about me and my time, declared he was always sorry to see me there when nothing worthattention was going forward. This soon brought us round to our former intimacy of converse ;and, the moment I was able, I ventured at my usual inquiry abouthis own speaking, and if it would soon take place. Page 353 "No, " he answered, with a look of great pleasure, "I shall nownot speak at all. --I have cleared myself from that task, andnever with such satisfaction did I get rid of any!" Amazed, yet internally glad, I hazarded some further inquiry intothe reason of this change of plan. They were drawing, he said, to a conclusion, and the particularcharge which he had engaged himself to open wasrelinquished. (328) "I have therefore, " he cried, "washed myhands of making a speech, yet satisfied my conscience, my honour, my promises, and my intentions; for I have declined undertakinganything new, and no claim therefore remains upon me. " "Well, " quoth I, "I am at a loss whether to be glad or sorry. " He comprehended instantly, --glad for Mr. Hastings, or sorry fornot hearing him. He laughed, but said something a littlereproachful, upon my continued interest for that gentleman. Iwould not pretend it was diminished; I determined he should findme as frank as heretofore, and abscond, or abide, as his nervesstood the firmness. "You are never, then" (I said afterwards), "to speak here?" "Once, " he answered, "I said a few words--" "O when?" I cried; "I am very sorry I did not know it, and hearyou, --as you did speak!" "O, " cried he, laughing, "I do not fear this flattery now, as Ishall speak no more. " "But what, " cried I, "was the occasion that drew you forth?" "Nothing very material but I saw Burke run hard, and I wished tohelp him. " "That was just, " cried I, "what I should have expected from you--and just what I have not been able not to honour, on some otheroccasions, even where I have most blamed the matter that hasdrawn forth the assistance. " This was going pretty far:--he could not but instantly feel Imeant the Regency discussions. He neither made me any answer, nor turned his head, even obliquely, my way. I was not sorry, however. 'Tis always best to be sincere. Finding him quite silent, to soften matters as well as I couldwith honesty, I began an éloge of Mr. Burke, both warm and true, as far as regards his wonderful abilities. But he soon Page 354 distinguished the rigorous precision with which, Involuntarily, Ipraised the powers without adverting to their Use. Suddenly then, and with a look of extreme keenness, he turned hiseyes upon me, and exclaimed, "Yes, --and he has very highly, alsothe faculty of being right!" I would the friendship thatdictated this assertion were as unwarped as it is animated. I could not help saying rather faintly, "Has he?" Not faintly he answered, "He has!--but not the world alone, evenhis friends, are apt to misjudge him. What he enters upon, however with earnestness, YOU will commonly find turn out as herepresents it. " His genius, his mental faculties, and the natural goodness of hisheart, I then praised as warmly as Mr. Windham could have praisedthem himself; but the subject ran me aground a second time, as, quite undesignedly, I concluded my panegyric with declaring thatI found it impossible not to admire, --nay, love him, through allhis wrong. Ending another total silence and averted head, Istarted something more general upon the trial. His openness then returned, with all its customary vivacity, andhe expressed himself extremely irritated upon various matterswhich had been carried against the managers by the judges. "But, Mr. Windham!" exclaimed I, "the judges!--is it possible youcan enter into such a notion as to suppose Mr. Hastings capableof bribing them?" "O, for capable, " cried he, "I don't know--" "Well, leave that word out, and suppose him even willing--can youimagine all the judges and all the lords--for they must concur--disposed to be bribed?" "No; but I see them all determined to acquit Mr. Hastings. " "Determined?--nay, that indeed is doing him very little honour. " "O, for honour!--if he is acquitted--" He stopped, --as if thatwere sufficient. I ventured to ask why the judges and the lords-should make such adetermination. "From the general knavery and villainy of mankind. " was his hardanswer, "which always wishes to abet successful guilt. " "Well!" cried I, shaking my head, "you have not, Page 355 relinquished your speech from having nothing to say. But I amglad you have relinquished it, for I have always been most afraidof you ; and the reason is, those who know how to hold back willnot for nothing come forward. There is one down there, who, ifhe knew how ever to hold back, would be great indeed!" He could not deny this, but would not affirm it. Poor Mr. Burke!--so near to being wholly right, while yet wholly wrong! When Mr. Burke mounted the rostrum, Mr. Windham stopped short, saying, "I won't interrupt you-" and, in a moment, glided back tothe managers' box; where he stood behind Mr. Burke, evidently athand to assist in any difficulty. His affection for him seems toamount to fondness. This is not for me to wonder at. Who was socaptivated as myself by that extraordinary man, till he would nolonger suffer me to reverence the talents I must still everadmire? A GLIMPSE OF MRS. PIOZZI. Sunday, May 2. -This morning, in my way to church, just as Iarrived at the iron gate of our courtyard, a well-known voicecalled out, "Ah, there's Miss Burney!" I started, and looked round--and saw--Mrs. Piozzi! I hastened upto her; she met my held-out hand with both hers: Mr. Piozzi anCecilia(329) were with her--all smiling and good-humoured. "You are going, " she cried, "to church?--so, am I. I must runfirst to the inn: I suppose one--may sit--anywhere one pleases?" "Yes, " I cried, "but you must be quick, or you will sit nowhere, there will be such a throng. " This was all;--she hurried on, --sodid I. I received exceeding great satisfaction in this little andunexpected meeting. She had been upon the Terrace, and was goingto change her hat, and haste on both sides prevented awkwardnesson either. Yet I saw she had taken in good part my concluding hand-presentation at my dear Mr. Locke's:(330) she met me no more 356 with that fiert`e of defiance: it was not-nor can it ever be withher old cordiality, but it was with some degree of pleasure, andthat species of readiness which evinces a consciousness ofmeeting with a good reception. CAPTAIN BURNEY WANTS A SHIP AND TO GO TO COURT. May 6. -This being the last Pantheon, I put in my long intendedclaim; and it was greatly facilitated by the circumstance of anew singer, Madame Benda, making her first appearance. Mydearest father fetched me from the Queen's house. Esther andMarianne kept me places between them. Marianne never looked sopretty; I saw not a face there I thought equally lovely. And, oh, how Pacchierotti sung!--How -with what exquisite feeling, what penetrating pathos! I could almost have cried the wholetime, that this one short song was all I should be able to hear ! At the beginning of the second act I was obliged to decamp. James, who had just found me out, was my esquire. "Well, " hecried, in our way to the chair, "will there be war with Spain?" I assured him I thought not. "So I am afraid!" answered the true English tar. " "However, ifthere is, I should be glad of a frigate of thirty-two guns. Now, if you ask for it, don't say a frigate, and get me one oftwenty-eight!" Good heaven!--poor innocent James!-- And just as I reached the chair--"But how shall you feel, " hecried, "when I ask you to desire a guard-ship for me, in abouttwo years' time?" I could make no precise answer to that! He then added that heintended coming to Court! Very much frightened, I besought himfirst to come and drink tea with me--which he promised. In my way home, as I went ruminating upon this apparently butjust, though really impracticable demand, I weighed well certainthoughts long revolving, and of late nearly bursting forth andthe result was this--to try all, while yet there is time. Reproach else may aver, when too late, greater courage Would have had greater success. This idea settled my resolutions, andthey all bent to one point, risking all risks. Page 357 May 10. -This evening, by appointment came our good James and hiswife, and soon afterwards, to my great pleasure, Captain Phillipsjoined us. I take it, therefore, for granted, he will have toldall that passed in the business way. I was very anxious togather more intelligibly the wishes and requests of poor James, and to put a stop to his coming to Court without taking suchprevious steps as are customary. I prevailed, and promised, inreturn, to make known his pretensions. You may believe, my dear friends, this promise was the result ofthe same wish of experiment, and sense of claim upon me of myfamily to make it while I may, that I have mentioned. I did--this very evening. I did it gaily, and in relating suchanecdotes as were amusingly characteristic of a sailor's honestbut singular notions of things: yet I have done it completely;his wishes and his claims are now laid open--Heaven knows to whateffect! The Court scheme I have also told; and my royal mistressvery graciously informed me, that if presented by some superiorofficer there could be no objection; but otherwise, unless he hadsome promotion, it was not quite usual. CAPTAIN BURNEY AND MR. WINDHAM. May 11. -This morning my royal mistress had previously arrangedfor me that I should go to the trial, and had given me a ticketfor my little Sarah(331) to accompany me; and late last night, Ibelieve after twelve o'clock, she most graciously gave me anotherfor James. Just at this time she could not more have gratifiedme than by a condescension to my dear brother. Poor Columb wassent with the intelligence, and directions for our meeting atseven o'clock this morning, to Norton-street. Sarah came early; but James was so late we were obliged to leaveword for him to follow us. He did, --two hours afterwards! by wayof being our esquire; and then told me he knew it would be ingood time, and so he had stopped to breakfast at Sir JosephBanks's. I suppose the truth is, it saved him a fresh puff ofpowder for some other day. We talked over all affairs, naval and national, very comfortably. The trial is my only place for long dialogues! I gave him a newand earnest charge that he would not speak home concerning theprosecution to Mr. Winndham, should he join 358 us. He made me a less reluctant promise than heretofore, forwhen last with Charlotte at Aylsham he had frequently visited Mr. Windham, and had several battles at draughts or backgammon withhim; and there is no Such good security against giving offence asseeing ourselves that our opponents are worth pleasing. Here, too, as I told James, however we might think all the managers inthe wrong, they were at least open enemies, and acting a publicpart, and therefore they must fight it Out, as he would do withthe Spaniards, if, after all negotiation, they came to battle. He allowed this; and promised to leave him to the attacks of thelittle privateer, without falling foul of him with a broadside. Soon after the trial began Mr. Windham came up to us, and after afew minutes' chat with me addressed himself to James about theapproaching war. "Are you preparing, " he cried, "for acampaign?" "Not such one, " cried James, "as we had last summer at Aylsham!" "But what officers you are!" he cried, "you men of Captain Cook;you rise upon us in every trial! This Captain Bligh, --whatfeats, what wonders he has performed! What difficulties gotthrough! What dangers defied! And with such cool, manly skill!" They talked the narrative over as far as Mr. Windham had inManuscript seen its sketch; but as I had not read it, I could notenter into its detail. MR. WINDHAM SPEAKS ON A LEGAL POINT. Mr. Windham took his seat by my elbow, and renewed one of his oldstyle of conversations about the trial ; each of us firmlymaintaining our original ground. I believe he has nowrelinquished his expectation of making me a convert. Hesurprised me soon by saying, "I begin to fear, after all, thatwhat you have been talking about to me will come to pass. " I found he meant his own speaking upon a new charge, which, whenI last saw him, he exultingly told me was given up. He explainedthe apparent inconsistency by telling me that some new change ofplan had taken place, and that Mr. Burke was extremely urgentwith him to open the next charge: "And I cannot, " he criedemphatically, "leave Burke in the lurch!" I both believed andapplauded him so far; but why )Page 59 are either of them engaged in a prosecution so uncoloured bynecessity? One chance he had still of escaping this tremendous task, he toldme, which was that it might devolve upon Grey but Burke, he didnot disavow, wished it to be himself. "However, " he laughinglyadded, "I think we may toss up In that case, how I wish he maylose! not only from believing him the abler enemy, but to reservehis name from amongst the active list in such a cause. He bewailed, ---with an arch look that showed his consciousness Ishould like the lamentation, --that he was now all unprepared, --all fresh to begin in documents and materials, the charge beingwholly new and unexpected, and that which he had consideredrelinquished. "I am glad, however, " cried I, "your original charge is given up;for I well remember what you said of it. " "I might be flattered, " cried he, "and enough, that you shouldremember anything I say--did I not know it was only for the sakeof its subject, "--looking down upon Mr. Hastings. I could not possibly deny this but added that I recollected hehad acknowledged his charge was to prove Mr. Hastings mean, pitiful, little, and fraudulent. " The trial this day consisted almost wholly in dispute uponevidence - the managers offered such as the counsel heldimproper, and the judges and lords at last adjourned to debatethe matter in their own chamber. Mr. Burke made a very finespeech upon the rights of the prosecutor to bring forward hisaccusation, for the benefit of justice, in such mode as appearedmost consonant to his own reason and the nature of things, according to their varying appearances as fresh and fresh matterOccurred. The counsel justly alleged the hardship to the client, if thusliable to new allegations and suggestions, for which he cameunprepared, from a reliance that those publicly given were allagainst which he need arm himself, and that, if those weredisproved, he was cleared; while the desultory and shiftingcharges of the managers put him out in every method of defence, by making it impossible to him to discern where he might beattacked. In the course of this debate I observed Mr. Windham so agitatedand so deeply attentive, that it prepared me for what soonfollowed : he mounted the rostrum-for the third time only sincethis trial commenced. Page 360 His speech was only to a point Of law respecting evidence he keptclose to his subject, with a clearness and perspicuity veryuncommon indeed amongst these orators. His voice, however, isgreatly in his disfavour ; for he forces it so violently, eitherfrom earnestness or a fear of not being heard, that, though itanswered the purpose of giving the most perfect distinctness towhat he uttered, its sound had an unpleasing and crude qualitythat amazed and disappointed me. The command of his language andfluency of his delivery, joined to the compact style of hisreasoning and conciseness of his arguments, were all that couldanswer my expectations: but his manner--whether from energy orsecret terror--lost all its grace, and by no means seemed tobelong to the elegant and high-bred character that had justquitted me. In brief, --how it may happen I know not, --but he certainly doesnot do justice to his own powers and talents in public. He wasexcessively agitated: when he had done and dismounted, I saw hispale face of the most fiery red. Yet he had uttered nothing in apassion. It must have been simply from internal effort. The counsel answered him, and he mounted to reply. Here, indeed, he did himself honour; his readiness of answer, the vivacity ofhis objections, and the instantaneous command of all hisreasoning faculties, were truly striking. Had what he said notfallen in reply to a speech but that moment made, I must haveconcluded it the result Of Study, and all harangue learnt byheart. He was heard with the most marked attention. The second speech, like the first, was wholly upon the laws ofevidence, and Mr. Hastings was not named in either. He iscertainly practising against his great day. And, in truth, Ihold still to my fear of it; for, however little his manner inpublic speaking may keep pace with its promise in privateconversation, his matter was tremendously pointed and severe. The trial of the day concluded by an adjournment to consult uponthe evidence in debate, with the judges, in the House of Lords. Mr. Windham came up to the seats of the Commons in myneighbourhood, but not to me; he spoke to the MissesFrancis, --daughters of Mr. Hastings's worst foe, --and hurrieddown. On my return I was called upon to give an account of the Page 361 trial to their majesties and the princesses, and a formidablebusiness, I assure you, to perform. AN EMPHATIC PERORATION. May 18. -This morning I again went to the trial of poor Mr. Hastings. Heavens! who can see him sit there unmoved? not eventhose who think him guilty, --if they are human. I took with me Mrs. Bogle. She had long since begged a ticketfor her husband, which I could never before Procure. We now wentall three. And, indeed, her original speeches and remarks made agreat part of my entertainment. Mr. Hastings and his counsel were this day most victorious. Inever saw the prosecutors so dismayed. Yet both Mr. Burke andMr. Fox spoke, and before the conclusion so did Mr. Windham. They were all in evident embarrassment. Mr. Hastings's counselfinished the day, with a most noble appeal to justice andinnocence, protesting that, if his client did not fairly claimthe one, by proving the other, he wished himself that theprosecutors-that the lords--that the nation at large--that thehand of God--might fall heavy upon him! This had a great and sudden effect, -- not a word was uttered. The prosecutors looked dismayed and astonished ; and the dayclosed. Mr. Windham came up to speak to Misses Francis about a dinner:but he only, bowed to me, and with a look so conscious---so muchsaying, "'TiS your turn to triumph now!: that I had not the spiteto attack him. But when the counsel had uttered this animated speech, Mrs. Boglewas so much struck, she hastily arose, and, clapping her hands, called out audibly, in a broad Scotch accent, "O, charming!" Icould hardly, quiet her till I assured her we should make aparagraph for the newspapers. I had the pleasure to deliver thismyself to their majesties, and the princesses--and as I wascalled upon while it was fresh in my memory, I believe but littleof the general energy was forgotten. It gave me great pleasure to repeat so striking an affirmation ofthe innocence of so high, so injured I believe, a character. Thequeen eagerly declared I should go again the next sitting. Wednesday, May 19. --The real birthday of my royal mistress, towhom may Heaven grant many, many and prosperous! Dressing, andso forth, filled up all the morning Page 362 and at night I had a t`ete-`a-t`ete with Charles, till twelve. Igot to bed about five in the morning. The sweet princesses had aball, and I could not lament my fatigue. AN APTITUDE FOR LOGIC AND FOR GREEK. May 20. -To-day again to the trial, to which I took MISS Young, her majesty having given me two tickets very late overnight. Miss Young is singularly, as far as I can see, the reverse of hereccentric parents she is moderation personified. Mr. Windham again spoke in the course of this morning's business, which was chiefly occupied in debating on the admissibility ofthe evidence brought forward by the prosecutors. The quicknessand aptness of his arguments, with the admirable facility andaddress with which he seized upon those of his opponents, thecounsel, were strong marks of that high and penetrating capacityso strikingly his characteristic. The only defect in hisspeaking is the tone of his voice, which, from exertion, losesall its powers of modulation, and has a crude accent andexpression very disagreeable. During the examination of Mr. Anderson, one of Mr. Hastings'sbest friends, --a sensible, well-bred, and gentlemanlike man, --Mr. Windham came up to my elbow. "And can this man, " cried he, presently, "this man--sogentle---be guilty?" I accused him of making a point to destroy all admiration ofgentleness in my opinion. "But you are grown very good now!" Iadded, "No, very bad I mean!" He knew I meant for speaking ; andI then gave him burlesqued, various definitions of good, whichhad fallen from Mr. Fox in my hearing, the most contradictory, and, taken out of their place, the most ridiculous imaginable. He laughed very much, but seriously confessed that technicalterms and explanations had better have been wholly avoided bythem all, as the counsel were sure to out-technicalise them, andthey were then exposed to greater embarrassments than by steeringclear of the attempt, and resting only upon their common forces. "There is one praise, " I cried, "which I am always sure to meetin the newspapers whenever I meet with your name; and I begin toquite tire of seeing it for you, -your skill in logic!" Page 363 "O, I thank you, " he cried, earnestly "I am indeed quite ashamedof the incessant misappropriation of that word. " "No, no, " cried I; "I only tire of it because they seem to think, when once the word logic and your name are combined, they havecompletely stated all. However, in what little I have heard, Icould have suspected you to have been prepared with a speechready written, had I not myself heard just before all thearguments which it answered. " I then added that I was the less surprise(! at this facility oflanguage, from having heard my brother declare he knew no man whoread Greek with that extraordinary rapidity--no, not Dr. Parr, nor any of the professed Grecians, whose peculiar study it hadbeen through life. This could be nothing, he said, but partiality. "Not mine, at least, " cried I, laughing, "for Greek excellence israther Out Of my sphere of panegyric!" "Well, " cried he, laughing too at my disclaiming, "'Tis' yourbrother's partiality. However, 'tis one I must try not to lose. I must take to my Greek exercises again. " They will do you a world of good, thought I, if they take you butfrom your prosecution-exercises. MORE TALK WITH MR. WINDHAM. We then talked of Mr. Burke. "How finely, " I cried, "he hasspoken! with what fullness of intelligence, and what fervour!" He agreed, with delighted concurrence. "Yet, --so much so long!"I added. "True!" cried he, ingenuously, yet concerned. "What pity he cannever stop!" And then I enumerated some of the diffuse and unnecessaryparagraphs which had weakened his cause, as well as his speech. He was perfectly candid, though always with some reluctance. "But a man who speaks in public, " he said, "should never forgetwhat will do for his auditors: for himself alone, it is notenough to think ; but for what is fitted, and likely to beinteresting to them. " "He wants nothing, " cried I, "but a flapper. " "Yes, and he takes flapping inimitably. " "You, then, " I cried, "should be his flapper. " "And sometimes, " said he, smiling, "I am. " "O, I often see, " said I, "of what use you are to him. I Page 364 see you watching him, --reminding, checking him in turn, --atleast, I fancy all this as I look into the managers' box, whichis no small amusement to me, --when there is any commotion there!" He bowed; but I never diminished from the frank unfriendliness tothe cause with which I began. But I assured him I saw but toowell how important and useful he was to them, even withoutspeaking. "Perhaps, " cried he, laughing, "more than with speaking. " "I am not meaning to talk Of that now, " said I, "but yet, onething I will tell you: I hear you more distinctly than any one;the rest I as often miss as catch, except when they turn thisway, --a favour Which you never did me!" "No, no, indeed!" cried he; "to abstract myself from all, is allthat enables me to get on. " And then, with his native candour, he cast aside prejudice, and very liberally praised severalpoints in this poor persecuted great man. I had seen, I said, an initiation from Horace, which hadmanifested, I presumed, his scholarship. " "O, ay, " cried he, "an Ode to Mr. Shore, who is one of the nextwitnesses. Burke was going to allude to it, but I begged himnot. I do not like to make their lordships smile in this gravebusiness. " "That is so right!: cried I: "Ah, you know it IS you and yourattack I have feared most all along!" "This flattery"--cried he. "Do not use that word any more, Mr. Windham, " interrupted I; "ifyou do, I shall be tempted to make a very shocking speech toyou--the very reverse of flattery, I assure you. " He stared, --and I went on. "I shall say, --that those who think themselvesflattered--flatter themselves. !" "What?--hey?--How?" cried he. "Nay, they cannot conclude themselves flattered, withoutconcluding they have de quoi to make it worth while!" "Why, there--there may be something In that but not here!--no, here it must flow simply front general benevolence, --from a wishto give comfort or pleasure. " I disclaimed all and turned his attention again to Mr. Hastings. "See!" I cried, "see but how thin--how ill--looks that poorlittle uncle of yours!"(332) Again I upbraided him with beingunnatural; and lamented Mr. Hastings's Page 365 change since I had known him in former days. "And shall I tellyou, " I added, "something in which you had nearly been involvedwith him?" "Me?--with Mr. Hastings?" "Yes ! and I regret it did not happen ! You may recollect mymentioning my original acquaintance with him, before I livedwhere I now do. " ' "Yes, but where you now. . . . I understand you, --expect ere long youmay see him!" He meant from his acquittal, and reception at the Queen's house. And I would not contradict him. But, however, " I continued, "my acquaintance and regard beganvery fairly while I lived at home at my father's and indeed Iregret you could not then and so have known him, as I amsatisfied you would have been pleased with him, which now youcannot judge. He is so gentle-mannered, so intelligent, sounassuming, yet so full-minded. " I have Understood that, " he answered; "yet 'tis amazing howlittle unison there may be between mariners and characters, andhow softly gentle a man may appear without, whose nature withinis all ferocity and cruelty. This is a part of mankind of whichyou cannot judge--of which, indeed, you can scarce form an idea. " After a few comments I continued what I had to say, which, infact, was nothing but another malice of my own against him. Ireminded him of one day in a former year of this trial, when Ihad the happiness of sitting at it with my dearest Mrs. Locke, inwhich he had been so obliging, with reiterated offers, as topropose seeing for my servant, etc. -" "Well, " I continued, "I wasafterwards extremely sorry I had not accepted your kindness; forjust as we were going away, who should be passing, and turn backto speak to me, but Mr. Hastings!" 'O!' he cried, 'I must come here to see you, I find!' Now, hadyou but been with me at that moment! I own it would have been thegreatest pleasure to me to have brought you together though I amquite at a loss to know whether I ought, in that case, to havepresented you to each other. " He laughed most heartily, -half, probably, with joy at his escape;but he had all his wits about him in his answer. "If you, " hecried, "had been between US, we might, for once, have coalesced--in both bowing to the same shrine!" (322) Wednesday, November 18. -ED. (323) Covent Garden. -ED. (324) A comedy by Reynolds, originally produced at Covent Garden, May 15, 1789. -ED. (325) Sir Robert Gunning, the bride's father. -ED. (326) Fanny refers to Burke's attitude during the Regencydebates, in which, as a member of the opposition, he hadsupported Mr. Fox. -ED, (327) "A Narrative of the mutiny on board his majesty's shipBounty; and the subsequent Voyage of part of the Crew, in theship's boat, from Tofoa, one of the Friendly Islands, to Timor, aDutch settlement in the East Indies. Written by LieutenantWilliam Bligh. " London, 1790. Lieutenant (afterwards Admiral)Bligh was appointed to the command of the Bounty in August, 1787. He sailed from England in December, and arrived at Otaheite, October 26, 1788, the object of his voyage being to transplantthe bread fruit tree from the South Sea Islands to the Britishcolonies in the West Indies, with a view to its acclimatisationthere. A delay of more than five months at Otaheite demoralizedthe crew, to whom the dolce far mente of life in a Pacificisland, and the Charms of the Otaheitan women, offered greaterattractions than the toils of sea-faring under a somewhattyrannical captain. The Bounty left Otaheite April 4, 1789, andon the 28th of the same month a mutiny broke out under theleadership of the mater's mate, Fletcher Christian. CaptainBligh and eighteen of his men were set adrift in the ship's boat, in which they sailed for nearly three months, undergoing terribleprivations, and reaching the Dutch settlement at Timor, an islandoff the east coast of Java, June 14. Bligh arrived in England, March 14, 1790. The mutineers finally settled in Pitcairn'sisland, where their descendants are still living. -ED. (328) See note ante 263, p. 102. -ED. (329) Mrs. Piozzi's youngest daughter, who had accompanied hermother and step-father abroad. -ED. 2 It appears from a note in (330) It appears from a note in the "Memoirs of Dr. Burney" (vol. Iii. P. 199), that Fanny had once before met Mrs Piozzi since hermarriage, at an assembly at Mrs. Locke's. This meeting must havetaken place Soon after the marriage, as Mrs. Piozzi went abroad with her husband shortly afterwards. -ED. (331) Fanny's half-sister. -ED. (332) An allusion to the personal resemblance between Windham andHastings. See ante, p. 149. -ED. Page 366 SECTION 17. (1790-1) MISS BURNEY RESIGNS HER PLACE AT COURT. [The following section concludes the story of Fanny's life atCourt. Her entire unfitness for the position which she thereoccupied had been, from the commencement, no secret to herself;but her tenderness for her father had determined her to endure tothe utmost before resigning a place to which her appointment hadbeen to him, in his short-sighted folly, a source of such extremegratification. But now she could endure no longer. Theoccasional relief which she had found in the society of Mrs. Delany and Colonel Digby had been brought to an end by the deathof the one and the marriage of the other ; her spirits werebroken, her state of health was becoming daily more alarming andshe at last summoned up courage to consult her father on thesubject, and to make known to him her desire of resigning. Blindas he had shown himself to the true interests of his daughter, Dr. Burney was still the most affectionate of parents. He heardFanny's complaint with grief and disappointment, but with instantacquiescence in her wishes. His consent to her plan beingobtained, Fanny for some months took no further steps in thematter. She was willing to remain at her post so long as she wascapable, with whatever difficulty, of supporting its fatigues. But her health failed more and more, and the memorial was at last(December, 1790) presented to the queen. Even yet the day ofrelease was far distant. The "sweet queen" was in no hurry topart with so faithful a servant, and although she had acceptedthe resignation, she did not conceal her displeasure at beingreminded of it. Meanwhile the unfortunate victim of royalselfishness was growing daily weaker. Her friends were seriouslyalarmed: even her fellow-slaves at Court commiserated her, andurged her retirement. A successor was at length appointed, andon the 7th of July, 1791, Fanny found herself once more free. Page 367 During the interval which elapsed between the consultation withDr. Burney and the presentation of the memorial, an incidentoccurred which occasioned to Fanny much distress and not a littleannoyance. Her own narrative of the affair we have not thoughtit necessary to include in our selection from the "Diary, " buthere a few words on the subject may be not unacceptable. Fanny'sman-servant, a Swiss named Jacob Columb, had fallen dangerouslyill in the summer of 1790, and was sent, in August, to St. George's Hospital. He was much attached to his mistress, who, hesaid, had treated him with greater kindness than father, mother, or any of his relatives, and on leaving Windsor he begged her tohold in trust for him the little money in his possession, amounting to ten guineas. She offered him a receipt for themoney, but he refused it, and when she insisted, exclaimed, "No, ma'am, I won't take it! You know what it is, and I know what itis; and if I live I'm sure you won't wrong me: and if I don't, nobody else sha'n't have it!" Moved to tears by the poorfellow's earnestness, Fanny complied with his request. In thefollowing month he died at the hospital, desiring, in his lastmoments, to leave everything to his sisters in Switzerland. "Hecertainly meant, " writes Fanny, "everything of his wearingapparel, watches, etc. , for what money he had left in my hands hewould never tell anybody. " She was preparing, accordingly, totransmit Columb's effects, including, of course, the ten guineas, to Switzerland, when a claimant appeared in the person of PeterBayond, a countryman of the deceased. This man produced a will, purporting to be Columb's, by which the property was left to bedivided between Bayond himself and James Columb, a cousin of thepretended testator, then in service with Horace Walpole. Fanny'sinstant conviction was that the will was a forgery, and theappearance and behaviour of Bayond confirmed her in this belief. James Columb, moreover, concurred in her opinion, and she haddecided to ignore this new claim, when she received an attorney'sletter, desiring her to pay to Bayond the sum in her hands of thelate Jacob Columb. She then wrote to Walpole, who offered herhis assistance, with many expressions of warm regard. Butfinally, after much trouble, and threats of a lawsuit, she wasadvised that her best plan would be to let the will take itscourse, and to pay over to the claimant the sum in question ; andthus the matter was settled, "in a manner, " she writes, "the mostmortifying to Mr. Walpole and myself. "-ED. ) Page 368 A MELANCHOLY CONFESSION. May 25. -The Princess Augusta condescended to bring me a mostgracious message from the king, desiring to know if I wished togo to Handel's Commemoration, and if I should like the "Messiah, "or prefer any other day? With my humble acknowledgments for his goodness, I fixedinstantly on the "Messiah" and the very amiable princess camesmiling back to me, bringing me my ticket from the king. This would not, indeed, much have availed me, but that Ifortunately knew my dear father meant to go to the Abbey. Idespatched Columb to Chelsea, and he promised to call for me thenext morning. My "Visions" I had meant to produce in a few days; and to knowtheir chance before I left town for the summer. (333) But Ithought the present opportunity not to be slighted, for somelittle opening, that might lighten the task of the exordium uponthe day of attempt. He was all himself--all his native self--kind, gay, open, and full fraught with converse. Chance favoured me: we found so little room, that we were fain toaccept two vacant places at once, though they separated us frommy uncle, Mr. Burney, and his brother James, who were all there, and all meant to be of the same party. I might not, at another time, have rejoiced in this disunion, butit was now most opportune: it gave me three hours' conferencewith my dearest father--the only conference of that length I havehad in four years. Fortune again was kind ; for my father began relating variousanecdotes of attacks made upon him for procuring to sundrystrangers some acquaintance with his daughter, (334) particularlywith the Duchesse de Biron, and the Mesdames de Boufflers(335) towhom he answered, he had no power; but was somewhat Page 369 struck by the question of Madame de B. In return, who exclaimed, "Mais, monsieur, est-ce possible! Mademoiselle votre fille n'a-t-elle point de vacance?"(336) This led to much interesting discussion, and to many confessionsand explanations on my part, never made before; which induced himto enter more fully into the whole of the situation, and itscircumstances, than he had ever yet had the leisure or thespirits to do; and he repeated sundry speeches of discontent atmy seclusion from the world. All this encouraged me to much detail: I spoke my high andconstant veneration for my royal mistress, her merits, hervirtues, her condescension, and her even peculiar kindnesstowards me. But I owned the species of life distasteful to me; Iwas lost to all private comfort, dead to all domestic endearment;I was worn with want of rest, and fatigued with laboriouswatchfulness and attendance. My time was devoted to officialduties; and all that in life was dearest to me--my friends, mychosen society, my best affections--lived now in my mind only byrecollection, and rested upon that with nothing but bitterregret. With relations the most deservedly dear, with friends ofalmost unequalled goodness, I lived like an orphan-like one whohad no natural ties, and must make her way as she could by thosethat were factitious. Melancholy was the existence wherehappiness was excluded, though not a complaint could be made! where the illustrious personages who were served possessed almostall human excellence, yet where those who were their servants, though treated with the most benevolent condescension, couldnever, in any part of the live-long day, command liberty, orsocial intercourse, or repose. The silence of my dearest father now silencing myself, I turnedto look at him; but how was I struck to see his honoured headbowed down almost into his bosom with dejection and discomfort!--we were both perfectly still a few moments; but when he raisedhis head I could hardly keep my seat, to see his eyes filled withtears!--"I have long, " he cried, "been uneasy, though I have notspoken; but if you wish to resign, my house, my purse, my arms, shall be open to receive you, back;" Page 370 The emotion of my whole heart at this speech-this sweet, thisgenerous speech--O my dear friends, I need not say it We were mutually forced to break up Our conference. I could onlyinstantly accept his paternal offer, and tell him it was myguardian angel, it was Providence in its own benignity, thatinspired him with such goodness. I begged him to love the day inwhich he had given me such comfort, and assured him it would restupon my heart with grateful pleasure till it ceased to beat. He promised to drink tea with me before I left town, and settleall our proceedings. I acknowledged my intention to haveventured to solicit this very permission of resigning. - "But I, "cried he, smiling with the sweetest kindness, "have spoken firstmyself. " What a joy to me, what a relief, this very circumstance! it willalways lighten any evil that may, unhappily, follow this proposedstep. CAPTAIN BURNEY's LACONIC LETTER AND INTERVIEW. June. -I went again to the trial of poor Mr. Hastings : Mrs. Ordreceived from me my companion ticket, kindly giving up the Dukeof Newcastle's box to indulge me with her company. But I must mention an extraordinary circumstance that happened inthe last week. I received in a parcel--No, I will recite it youas I told it to Mr. Windham, who, fortunately, saw and came up tome--fortunately, I say, as the business of the day was veryunedifying, and as Mrs. Ord much wished to hear some of hisconversation. He inquired kindly about James and his affairs, and if he had yeta ship; and, to let him see a person might reside in a Court, andyet have no undue influence, I related his proceedings with LordChatham, and his laconic letter and interview. The first runningthus:-- "My Lord, --I should be glad of an audience; if your Lordship willbe so good to appoint a time, I will wait upon you. I am, myLord, your humble servant, "James Burney. " "And pray, " quoth I to James, when he told me this, "did you notsay the honour of an audience?" Page 371 "No, " answered he, "I was civil enough without that; I said, Ifyou will be so good--that was very civil--and honour is quiteleft off now. " How comic! to run away proudly from forms and etiquettes, andthen pretend it was only to be more in the last mode. Mr. Windham enjoyed this characteristic trait very much; and he likesJames so well that he deserved it, as well as the interview whichensued. "How do you do, Captain Burney?" "My lord, I should be glad to be employed. " " You must be sensible, Captain Burney, we have many claimantsjust now, and more than it is possible to satisfy immediately. " "I am very sensible of that, my lord; but, at the same time, Iwish to let your lordship know what I should like to have--afrigate of thirty-two guns. " "I am very glad to know what you wish, sir. " He took out his pocket-book, made a memorandum, and wished Jamesa good morning. Whether or not it occurred to Mr. Windham, while I told this, that there seemed a shorter way to Lord Chatham, and one more inhis own style, I know not: he was too delicate to let such a hintescape, and I would not for the world intrust him with myapplications and disappointments. BURKE'S SPEECH ON THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. But I have found, " cried I afterwards, "another newspaper praisefor you now, 'Mr. Windham, with his usual vein of irony. "' "O, yes, " cried he, "I saw that! But what can it mean?--I use no'vein of irony;'--I dislike it, except for peculiar purposes, keenly handled, and soon passed over. " " Yet this is the favourite panegyric you receive continually, --this, or logic, always attends your name in the newspapers. " "But do I use it?" "Nay, not to me, I own. As a manner, I never found it out, atleast. However, I am less averse now than formerly to the otherpanegyric--close logic, --for I own the more frequently I comehither the more convinced I find myself that that is no characterof commendation to be given universally. " He could say nothing to this; and really the dilatory, Page 372 desultory style of these prosecutors in general deserved a muchdeeper censure. "If a little closeness of logic and reasoning were observed byone I look at now, what a man would he be, and who could comparewith him!" Mr. Burke you are sure was here my object; and hisentire, though silent and unwilling, assent was obvious. "What a speech, " I continued, "has he lately made!(337) hownoble, how energetic, how enlarged throughout!" "O, " cried he, very unaffectedly, "upon the French Revolution?" "Yes; and any party might have been proud of it, for liberality, for feeling, for all in one--genius. I, who am only a reader ofdetached speeches, have read none I have thought its equal. " "Yet, such as you have seen it, it does not do him justice. Iwas not in the House that day ; but I am assured the actualspeech, as he spoke it at the moment, was highly superior to whathas since been printed. There was in it a force--there wereshades of reflection so fine--allusions so quick and so happy--and strokes of satire and observation so pointed and so apt, --that it had ten times more brilliancy when absolutely extemporethan when transmitted to paper. " "Wonderful, wonderful! He is a truly wonderful creature!" And, alas, thought I, as wonderful in inconsistency as in greatness! In the course of a discussion more detailed upon faculties, Iventured to tell him what impression they had made upon James, who was with me during one of the early long speeches. "I waslistening, " I said, " with the most fer- Page 373 vent attention to such strokes of eloquence as, while I heardthem, carried all before them, when my brother pulled me by thesleeve to exclaim, 'When will he come to the point?"' The justness, notwithstanding his characteristic conciseness, ofthis criticism, I was glad thus to convey. Mr. Windham however, would not subscribe to it; but, with a significant smile, coollysaid, "Yes, 'tis curious to hear a man of war's ideas ofrhetoric. " "Well, " quoth I, to make a little amends, "shall I tell you acompliment he paid you?" "Me?" "Yes. 'He speaks to the purpose, ' he cried. " AN AWKWARD MEETING. Some time after, with a sudden recollection, he eagerlyexclaimed, "O, I knew I had something I wished to tell you! Iwas the other day at a place to see Stuart's Athenianarchitecture, and whom do you think I met in the room?" I could not guess. "Nay, 'tis precisely what you will like--Mr. Hastings!" "Indeed!" cried I, laughing; "I must own I am extremely glad tohear it. I only wish you could both meet without either knowingthe other. " "Well, we behaved extremely well, I assure you ; and looked eachas if we had never seen one another before. I determined to letyou know it. " . . . A NEW VISIT FROM MRS. FAIRLY. The day after the birthday I had again a visit from Mrs. Fairly. I was in the midst of packing, and breakfasting, and confusion -for we left town immediately, to return no more till next year, except to St. James's for the Drawing-room. However, I made heras welcome as I was able, and she was more soft and ingratiatingin her manners than I ever before observed her. I apologised twoor three times for not waiting upon her, representing my confinedabilities for visiting. ONE TRAGEDY FINISHED AND ANOTHER COMMENCED. August. -As I have only my almanac memorandums for this month, Ishall hasten immediately to what I think my dear partiallecturers will find most to their taste in the course of it. Page 374 Know then, fair ladies, about the middle of this August, 17 90, the author finished the rough first draft and copy of her firsttragedy. What species of a composition it may prove she is veryunable to tell; she only knows it was an almost spontaneous work, and soothed the melancholy of imagination for a while, thoughafterwards it impressed it with a secret sensation of horror, solike real woe, that she believes it contributed to the injury hersleep received about this period. Nevertheless, whether well or ill, she is pleased to have donesomething at last, she had so long lived in all ways as nothing. You will smile, however, at my next trust; but scarce was thiscompleted, -as to design and scenery I mean, for the whole is inits first rough state, and legible only to herself, - scarce, however, had this done with imagination, to be consigned over tocorrection, when imagination seized upon another subject foranother tragedy. The first therefore I have deposited in my strong-box, in all itsimperfections, to attend to the other; I well know correction mayalways be summoned, Imagination never will come but by choice. Ireceived her, therefore, a welcome guest, --the best adapted forsoftening weary solitude, where only coveted to avoid irksomeexertion. MISS BURNEY's RESIGNATION MEMORIAL. October. -I now drew up my memorial, or rather, showed it to mydearest father. He so much approved it, that he told me he wouldnot have a comma of it altered. I will copy it for you. It isas respectful and as grateful as I had words at command to makeit, and expressive of strong devotion and attachment; but itfairly and firmly states that my strength is inadequate to theduties of my charge, and, therefore, that I humbly cravepermission to resign it and retire into domestic life. It waswritten in my father's name and my own. I had now that dearfather's desire to present it upon the first auspicious moment:and O! with what a mixture of impatience and dread unspeakabledid I look forward to such an opportunity! The war was still undecided : still I inclined to wait its issue, as I perpetually brought in my wishes for poor James, thoughwithout avail. Major Garth, our last equerry, was raised to ahigh post in the West Indies, and the rank of colonel, Irecommended James to his notice and regard if Page 375 they met; and a promise most readily and pleasantly made to seekhim out and present him to his brother, the general, if they everserved in the same district, was all, I think, that my Courtresidence obtained for my marine department of interest! Meanwhile, one morning at Kew, Miss Cambridge was so much alarmedat my declining state of health that she would take no denial tomy seeing and consulting Mr. Dundas. He ordered me the bark, andit strengthened me so much for awhile, that I was too muchrecruited for presenting my sick memorial, which I therefore castaside. Mrs. Ord spent near a week at Windsor in the beginning of thismonth. I was ill, however, the whole time, and suffered so muchfrom my official duties, that my good Mrs. Ord, day after day, evidently lost something more and more of her partiality to mystation, from witnessing fatigues of which she had formed noidea, and difficulties and disagreeabilities in carrying on aweek's intercourse, even with so respectable a friend, which Ibelieve she had thought impossible. Two or three times she burst forth into ejaculations stronglyexpressive of fears for my health and sorrow at its exhaustingcalls. I could not but be relieved in my own mind that thismuch-valued, most maternal friend should thus receive aconviction beyond all powers of representation, that my place wasof a sort to require a strength foreign to my make. She left me in great and visible uneasiness, and wrote to mecontinually for bills of health, I never yet so much loved her, for, kind as I have always found her, I never yet saw in her somuch true tenderness. MR. WINDHAM INTERVENES. In this month, also, I first heard of the zealous exertions andchivalrous intentions of Mr. Windham. Charles told me they nevermet without his demounting the whole thunders of his oratoryagainst the confinement by which he thought my health injured;with his opinion that it must be counteracted speedily byelopement, no other way seeming effectual. But with Charlotte he came more home to the point. Theirvicinity in Norfolk occasions their meeting, though very seldomat the house of Mr. Francis, who resents his prosecution of Mr. Hastings, and never returns his visits; but at assemblies atAylsham and at Lord Buckingham's dinners they are certain of nowand then encountering. Page 376 This summer, when Mr. Windham went to Felbrig, his Norfolk seat, they soon met at an assembly, and he immediately opened upon hisdisapprobation of her sister's monastic life, adding, "I do notventure to speak thus freely upon this subject to everybody, butto you I think I may; at least, I hope it. " Poor dear Charlotte was too full-hearted for disguise, and theypresently entered into a confidential cabal, that made her quitedisturbed and provoked when hurried away. From this time, whenever they met, they were pretty much of a mind. "I cannotsee you, " he always cried, "without recurring to that painfulsubject--your sister's situation. " He then broke forth in ananimated offer of his own services to induce Dr. Burney to finishsuch a captivity, if he could flatter himself he might have anyinfluence. Charlotte eagerly promised him the greatest, and he gave her hispromise to go to work. O What a noble Quixote! How much I feel obliged to him! Howhappy, when I may thank him! He then pondered upon ways and means. He had already sounded myfather: "but it is resolution, " he added, "not inclination, Dr. Burney wants. " After some further reflection, he then fixed upona plan : "I will set the Literary Club(338) upon him!" he cried:"Miss Burney has some very true admirers there, and I am surethey will all eagerly assist. We will present him a petition--anaddress. " Much more passed: Mr. Windham expressed a degree of interest andkindness so cordial, that Charlotte says she quite longed toshake hands with him; and if any success ever accrues, shecertainly must do it. Frightened, however, after she returned home, she feared ourdearest father might unfairly be overpowered, and frankly wrotehim a recital of the whole, counselling him to see Mr. Windham inprivate before a meeting at the club should take place. AN AMUSING INTERVIEW WITH MR. BOSWELL. And now for a scene a little surprising. The beautiful chapel of St. George, repaired and finished by thebest artists at an immense expense, which was now opened after avery long shutting up for its preparations, brought in- Page 377 numerable strangers to Windsor, and, among others, Mr. Boswell. This I heard, in my way to the chapel, from Mr. Turbulent, whoovertook me, and mentioned having met Mr. Boswell at the Bishopof Carlisle's the evening, before. He proposed bringing him tocall upon me; but this I declined, certain how littlesatisfaction would be given here by the entrance of a man sofamous for compiling anecdotes. But yet I really wished to seehim again, for old acquaintance sake, and unavoidable amusementfrom his oddity and good humour, as well as respect for theobject of his constant admiration, my revered Dr. Johnson. Itherefore told Mr. Turbulent I should be extremely glad to speakwith him after the service was over. Accordingly, at the gate of the choir, Mr. Turbulent brought himto me. We saluted With mutual glee: his comic-serious face andmanner have lost nothing of their wonted singularity nor yet havehis mind and language, as you will soon confess. "I am extremely glad to see you indeed, " he cried, "but verysorry to see you here. My dear ma'am, why do you stay ?--itwon't do, ma'am! You must resign!--we can put up with it nolonger. I told my good host the bishop so last night; we are allgrown quite outrageous!" Whether I laughed the most, or stared the most, I am at a loss tosay, but i hurried away from the cathedral, not to have suchtreasonable declarations overheard, for We Were surrounded by amultitude. He accompanied me, however, not losing one moment in continuinghis exhortations: "If you do not quit, ma'am, very soon, someviolent measures, I assure you, will be taken. We shall addressDr. Burney in a body; I am ready to make the harangue myself. Weshall fall upon him all at once. " I stopped him to inquire about Sir Joshua; he said he saw himvery often, and that his spirits were very good. I asked aboutMr. Burke's book. (339) "O, " cried he "it Will come Out nextweek: 'tis the first book in the World, except my own, and that'scoming out also very soon; only I want your help. " "My help?" "Yes, madam, --you must give me some of your choice little notesof the doctor's; we have seen him long enough upon Page 378 stilts; I want to show him in a new light. Grave Sam, and greatSam, and solemn Sam, and learned Sam, --all these he has appearedover and over. Now I want to entwine a wreath of the gracesacross his brow; I want to show him as gay Sam, agreeable Sam, pleasant Sam; so you must help me with some of his beautiful billets to yourself. " I evaded this by declaring I had not any stores at hand. Heproposed a thousand curious expedients to get at them, but I wasinvincible. Then I was hurrying on, lest I should be too late. He followedeagerly, and again exclaimed, "But, ma'am, as I tell you, thiswon't do; you must resign off hand! Why, I would farm you outmyself for double, treble the money! I wish I had the regulationof such a farm, --yet I am no farmer-general. But I should liketo farm you, and so I will tell Dr. Burney. I mean to addresshim; I have a speech ready for the first opportunity. " He then told me his " Life of Dr. Johnson " was nearly printed, and took a proof-sheet out of his pocket to show me; with crowdspassing and repassing, knowing me well, and staring well at him:for we were now at the iron rails of the Queen's lodge. I stopped; I could not ask him in : I saw he expected it, and wasreduced to apologise, and tell him I must attend the queenimmediately. He uttered again stronger and stronger exhortations for myretreat, accompanied by expressions which I was obliged to checkin their bud. But finding he had no chance for entering, hestopped me again at the gate, and said he would read me a part ofhis work. There was no refusing this: and he began with a letter of Dr. Johnson's to himself. He read it in strong imitation of thedoctor's manner, very well, and not caricature. But Mrs. Schwellenberg was at her window, a crowd was gathering to standround the rails, and the king and queen and royal family nowapproached from the Terrace. I made a rather quick apology, and, with a step as quick as my now weakened limbs have left in mypower, I hurried to my apartment. You may suppose I had inquiries enough, from all around, of "Whowas the gentleman I was talking to at the rails? And aninjunction rather frank not to admit him beyond those limits. However, I saw him again the next morning, in coming Page 379 from early prayers, and he again renewed his remonstrances, andhis petition for my letters of Dr. Johnson. I cannot consent toprint private letters, even of a man so justly celebrated, whenaddressed to myself: no, I shall hold sacred those revered andbut too scarce testimonies of the high honour his kindnessconferred upon me. One letter I have from him that is amasterpiece of elegance and kindness united. 'Twas his last, ILL, UNSETTLED, AND UNHAPPY. November. -This month will be very brief of annals; I was so ill, so unsettled, so unhappy during every day, that I kept not amemorandum. All the short benefit I had received from the barkwas now at an end : languor, feverish nights, and restless dayswere incessant. My memorial was always in my mind ; my couragenever rose to bringing it from my letter-case. Yet the war wasover, the hope of a ship for my brother demolished, and my healthrequired a change of life equally with my spirits and myhappiness. The queen was all graciousness; and her favour and confidence andsmiles redoubled my difficulties. I saw she had no suspicion butthat I was hers for life ; and, unimportant as I felt myself toher, in any comparison with those for whom I quitted her, I yetknew not how to give her the unpleasant surprise of a resignationfor which I saw her wholly unprepared. . It is true, my depression of spirits and extreme alteration ofperson might have operated as a preface; for I saw no one, exceptmy royal mistress and Mrs. Schwellenberg, who noticed not thechange, or who failed to pity and question me upon my health andmy fatigues; but as they alone saw it not, or mentioned it not, that afforded me no resource. And thus, with daily intention topresent my petition and conclude this struggle, night alwaysreturned with the effort unmade, and the watchful morning arosefresh to new purposes that seemed only formed for demolition. And the month expired as it began, with a desire the moststrenuous of liberty and peace, combated by reluctanceunconquerable to give pain, displeasure, or distress to my verygracious royal mistress. December. -My loss of health was now so notorious, that no part ofthe house could wholly avoid acknowledging it; yet was theterrible picquet the catastrophe of every evening, Page 380 though frequent pains in my side forced me, three or four timesin a game, to creep to my own room for hartshorn and for rest. And so weak and faint I was become, that I was compelled to putmy head out into the air, at all hours, and in all weathers, fromtime to time, to recover the power of breathing, which seemed notseldom almost withdrawn. Her majesty was very kind during this time, and the princessesinterested themselves about me with a sweetness very grateful tome; indeed, the whole household showed compassion and regard, anda general opinion that I was falling into a decline ran throughthe establishment. . . . Thus there seemed about my littleperson a universal commotion ; and it spread much farther, amongst those I have never or slightly mentioned. There seemed, indeed, but one opinion, that resignation of place or of life wasthe only remaining alternative. There seemed now no time to be lost - when I saw my dear fatherhe recommended to me to be speedy, , and my mother was very kindin urgency for immediate measures. I could not, however, summon courage to present my memorial; my heartalways failed me, from seeing the queen's entire freedom fromsuch an expectation: for though I was frequently so ill in herpresence that I could hardly stand, I saw she concluded me, whilelife remained, inevitably hers. A MEDICAL OPINION ON MISS BURNEY'S CONDITION. Finding my inability unconquerable, I at length determined uponconsulting Mr. Francis. I wrote to Charlotte a faithful andMinute account of myself', with all my attacks--cough, pain Inthe side, weakness, sleeplessness, etc. , --at full length, andbegged Mr. Francis's opinion how I must proceed. Very kindly hewrote directly to my father, exhorting instantaneous resignation, as all that stood before me to avert some dangerous malady. The dear Charlotte at the same time wrote to me conjuring myprompt retreat with the most affecting earnestness. The uneasiness that preyed upon my spirits in a task so difficultto perform for myself, joined to my daily declension in health, was now so apparent, that, though I could go no farther, I pavedthe way for an opening, by owning to the queen that Mr. Francishad been consulted upon my health. The queen now frequently inquired concerning his answer; Page 381 but as I knew he had written to my father, I deferred giving theresult till I had had a final conference with that dear parent. I told her majesty my father Would show me the letter when I sawhim. This I saw raised for the first time a surmise thatsomething was in agitation, though I am certain the suspicion didnot exceed an expectation that leave would be requested for ashort absence to recruit. My dearest father, all kindness and goodness, yet all alarm, thought time could never be more favourable; and when next I sawhim at Chelsea, I wrote a second memorial to enclose the originalone. With a beating heart, and every pulse throbbing, I returnedthus armed to the Queen's house. Mrs. Schwellenberg sent for me to her room. I could hardlyarticulate a word to her. My agitation was so great that I wascompelled to acknowledge something very awful was impending in myaffairs, and to beg she would make no present inquiries. I hadnot meant to employ her in the business, nor to name it to her, but I was too much disturbed for concealment or evasion. Sheseemed really sorry, and behaved with a humanity I had not hadmuch reason to expect. I spent a terrible time till I went to the queen at night, spiriting myself up for my task, and yet finding apprehensiongain ground every moment. Mrs. Schwellenberg had already beensome time with her majesty when I was summoned. I am sure shehad already mentioned the little she had gathered. I couldhardly perform my customary offices from excess of trepidation. The queen looked at me with the most inquisitive solicitude. When left with her a moment I tried vainly to make an opening: Icould not. She was too much impressed herself by my manner towait long. She soon inquired what answer had arrived from Mr. Francis? That he could not, I said, prescribe at a distance. I hoped this would be understood, and said no more. The queenlooked much perplexed, but made no answer. MISS BURNEY BREAKS THE MATTER TO THE QUEEN. The next morning I was half dead with real illness, excessive nervousness, and the struggle of what I had to forcemyself to perform. The queen again was struck with myappearance, which I believe indeed to have been shocking. When I was alone with her, she began upon Mr. Francis with moreinquiry. I then tried to articulate that I had something of Page 382 deep consequence to myself to lay before her majesty; but that Iwas so unequal in my weakened state to speak it, that I hadventured to commit it to Writing, and entreated Permission toproduce it. She could hardly hear me, yet understood enough to give immediateconsent. I then begged to know if I might present it -myself, or whether Ishould give it to Mrs. Schwellenberg. "O, to me! to me!" she cried, with kind eagerness. She added, however, not then; as she was going to breakfast. This done was already some relief, terrible as was all thatremained; but I now knew I must go on, and that all my fears andhorrors were powerless to stop me. This was a Drawing-room day. I saw the king at St. James's, andhe made the most gracious inquiries about my health: so did eachof the princesses. I found they were now all aware of itsfailure. The queen proposed to me to see Dr. Gisburne: the kingseconded the proposition. There was no refusing; yet, just now, it was distressing to comply. The next morning, Friday, when again I was alone with the queen, she named the subject, and told me she would rather I should givethe paper to the Schwellenberg, who had been lamenting to her mywant of confidence in her, and saying I confided and toldeverything to the queen. "I answered, " continued her majesty, "that you were always very good; but that, with regard toconfiding, you seemed so happy with all your family, and to liveso well together, that there was nothing to say. " I now perceived Mrs. Schwellenberg suspected some dissension athome was the cause of my depression. I was sorry not to delivermy memorial to the Principal person, and yet glad to have it todo where I felt so much less compunction in giving pain. THE MEMORIAL AND EXPLANATORY NOTE. I now desired an audience of Mrs. Schwellenberg. With whattrembling agitation did I deliver her my paper, requesting her tohave the goodness to lay it at the feet of the queen before hermajesty left town ! We were then to set out for Windsor beforetwelve o'clock. Mrs. Schwellenberg herself remained in town. Here let me copy the memorial. Page 383 Most humbly presented to Her Majesty. "Madam, "With the deepest sense of your Majesty's goodness andcondescension, amounting even to sweetness--to kindness who canwonder I should never have been able to say what I know not howto write--that I find my strength and health unequal to my duty? "Satisfied that I have regularly been spared and favoured by yourMajesty's humane consideration to the utmost, I could never bringmyself to the painful confession of my secret disquietude ; but Ihave long felt creeping upon me a languor, a feebleness, thatmakes, at times, the most common attendance a degree of capitalpain to me, and an exertion that I could scarce have made, butfor the revived alacrity with which your Majesty's constantgraciousness has inspired me, and would still, I believe, inspireme, even to my latest hour, while in your Majesty's immediatepresence. I kept this to myself while I thought it might wearaway, -or, at least, I only communicated it to obtain some medicaladvice: but the weakness, though it comes only in fits, has oflate so much Increased, that I have hardly known how, many days, to keep myself about--or to rise up in the morning, or to stay upat night. "At length, however, as my constitution itself seems slowly, yetsurely, giving way, my father became alarmed. "I must not enter, here, upon his mortification anddisappointment: the health and preservation of his daughter couldalone be more precious to him than your Majesty's protection. "With my own feelings upon the subject it would ill become me todetain your Majesty, and the less, as I am fully sensible myplace, in point of its real business, may easily he far bettersupplied;--In point of sincere devotion to your majesty, I do notso readily yield. I can only, therefore, most humbly entreatthat your Majesty will deign to accept from my father and myselfthe most dutiful acknowledgments for the uniform benignity sograciously shown to me during the whole of my attendance. Myfather had originally been apprehensive of my inability, withregard to strength, for sustaining any but the indulgence of adomestic life : but your Majesty's justice and liberality willmake every allowance for the flattered feelings of a parent'sheart, which could not endure, untried, to relinquish for hisdaughter so high an honour as a personal office about yourMajesty. Page 384 I dare not, Madam, presume to hope that Your Majesty'scondescension will reach to the smallest degree of concern atparting with me; but permit me, Madam, humbly, earnestly, andfervently, to solicit that I may not be deprived of the mentalbenevolence of your Majesty, which so thankfully I haveexperienced, and so gratefully must for ever remember. That every blessing, every good, may light upon your Majestieshere, and await a future and happier period hereafter, will bealways amongst the first prayers of, "Madam, your Majesty's ever devoted, ever grateful, mostattached, and most dutiful subject and servant, "Frances Burney. " With this, though written so long ago, I only wrote anexplanatory note to accompany it, which I will also copy:-- "Madam, "May I yet humbly presume to entreat your Majesty's patience fora few added lines, to say that the address which I now mostrespectfully lay at your Majesty's feet was drawn up two monthsago, when first I felt so extreme a weakness as to render the smallest exertion a fatigue? While I waited, however, for firmness to present it, I took the bark, and found myself, for some time, so much amended, that I put it aside, and myfather, perceiving me better, lost his anxious uneasiness for mytrying a new mode of life. But the good effect has, of late, sowholly failed, that an entire change of air and manner of livingare strongly recommended as the best chance for restoring myshattered health. We hold it, therefore, a point of thatgrateful duty we owe to your Majesty's goodness and graciousness, to make this melancholy statement at once, rather than to staytill absolute incapacity might disable me from offering one smallbut sincere tribute of profound respect to your Majesty, --theonly one in my power--that of continuing the high honour ofattending your Majesty, till your Majesty's own choice, time, andconvenience nominate a successor. " THE KEEPER OF THE ROBES' CONSTERNATION. Mrs. Schwellenberg took the memorial, and promised me herservices, but desired to know its contents. I begged vainly tobe excused speaking them. She persisted, and I then wascompelled to own they contained my resignation. How aghast she looked!--how inflamed with wrath!--how Page 385 Petrified with astonishment! It was truly a dreadful moment tome. She expostulated on such a step, as if it led to destruction: she offered to save me from it, as if the peace of my lifedepended on averting it and she menaced me with its badconsequences, as it life itself, removed from these walls, wouldbecome an evil. I plainly recapitulated the suffering state in which I had livedfor the last three months; the difficulty with which I had wadedthrough even the most common fatigues of the day; the constraintof attendance, however honourable, to an invalid; and theimpracticability of pursuing such a life, when thus enfeebled, with the smallest chance of ever recovering the health andstrength which it had demolished. To all this she began a vehement eulogium on the superiorhappiness and blessing of my lot, while under such a protection ;and angrily exhorted me not to forfeit what I could never regain. I then frankly begged her to forbear SO painful a discussion, andtold her that the memorial was from my father as well asmyself--that I had no right or authority to hesitate indelivering it--that the queen herself was prepared to expect it-and that I had promised my father not to go again to Windsortill it was presented. I entreated her, therefore, to have thegoodness to show it at once. This was unanswerable, and she left me with the paper in herhand, slowly conveying it to its place of destination. just as she was gone, I was called to Dr. Gisburne or, rather, without being called, I found him in my room, as I returned toit. Think If my mind, now, wanted not medicine the most I told him, however, my corporeal complaints and he ordered me opium andthree glasses of wine in the day, and recommended rest to me, andan application to retire to my friends for some weeks, as freedomfrom anxiety was as necessary to my restoration as freedom fromattendance. LEAVE OF ABSENCE IS SUGGESTED. During this consultation I was called to Mrs. Schwellenberg. Doyou think I breathed as I went along?--No! She received me, nevertheless, with complacency and smiles; she began a labouredpanegyric of her own friendly zeal and goodness, and then saidshe had a proposal to make to me, which she con- Page 386 sidered as the most fortunate turn my affairs could take, and a, ,a proof that I should find her the best friend I had in theworld. She then premised that she had shown the paper, --that thequeen had read it, and said it was very modest, and nothingimproper. Her proposal was, that I should have leave of absence for sixweeks, to go about and change the air, to Chelsea, and NorburyPark, and Capitan Phillips, and Mr. Francis, and Mr. Cambrick, which would get me quite well; and, during that time, she wouldengage Mlle. Montmoulin to perform my office. I was much disturbed at this; and though rejoiced and relieved tounderstand that the queen had read my memorial withoutdispleasure, I was grieved to see it was not regarded as final. I only replied I would communicate her plan to my father. Soonafter this we set out for Windsor. Here the first presenting myself before the queen was a task theheaviest, if possible, of any. Yet I was ill enough, heavenknows, to carry the apology of my retreat in my countenance. However, it was a terrible effort. I could hardly enter herroom. She spoke at once, and with infinite softness, asking mehow I did after my journey ? "Not well, indeed, " I simplyanswered. "But better?" she cried; "are you not a littlebetter?" I only shook my head; I believe the rest of my frame shookwithout my aid. "What! not a little?--not a little bit better?" she cried, in themost soothing voice. "To-day, ma'am, " I said, "I did indeed not expect to be better. " I then muttered something indistinctly enough, of the pain I hadsuffered in what I had done: she opened, however, upon anothersubject immediately, and no more was said upon this. But she waskind, and sweet, and gentle, and all consideration with respectto my attendance. I wrote the proposal to my poor father, I received by return ofpost, the most truly tender letter he ever wrote me. He returnsthanks for the clemency With which my melancholy memorial hasbeen received, and is truly sensible of the high honour shown meIn the new proposition; but he sees my health so impaired, mystrength so decayed, my whole frame so nearly demolished, that heapprehends anything short of a permanent resignation, that wouldensure lasting rest and recruit, might prove fatal. He quotes aletter from Mr. Francis, Page 387 containing his opinion that I must even be speedy in my retiringor risk the utmost danger - and he finishes a letter filled withgratitude towards the queen and affection to his daughter, withhis decisive opinion that I cannot go on, and his prayers andblessings on my retreat. The term "speedy, " in Mr. Francis's opinion, deterred me fromproducing this letter, as it seemed indelicate and unfair tohurry the queen, after offering her the fullest time. Itherefore waited till Mrs. Schwellenberg came to Windsor before Imade any report of my answer. A scene almost horrible ensued, when I told Cerbera the offer wasdeclined. She was too much enraged for disguise, and uttered themost furious expressions of indignant contempt at ourproceedings. I am sure she would gladly have confined us both inthe Bastille, had England such a misery, as a fit place to bringus to ourselves, from a daring so outrageous against imperialwishes. (Fanny Burney to Dr. Burney)January, 1791-. . . . . . I thank heaven, there was much softness inthe manner of naming you this morning. I see no ill-will mixedwith the reluctance, which much consoles me. I do what ispossible to avoid all discussion; I see its danger still soglaring. How could I resist, should the queen condescend todesire, to ask, that I would yet try another year?--and anotheryear would but be uselessly demolishing me; for never could Iexplain to her that a situation which unavoidably casts all myleisure into the presence of Mrs. Schwellenberg must necessarilybe subversive of my health, because incompatible with my peace, my ease, my freedom, my spirits, and my affections. The queen is probably kept from any suspicion Of the true natureof the case, by the praises of Mrs. Schwellenberg, who, with allher asperity and persecution, is uncommonly partial to mysociety; because, in order to relieve myself from sullen gloom, or apparent dependency, I generally make my best exertions toappear gay and chatty; for when I can do this, she forbears bothrudeness and imperiousness. She then, I have reason to believe, says to the queen, as I know She does to some others, "The Bernanbin reely agribble"; and the queen, not knowing the incitementthat forces my elaborate and painful efforts, may suppose I amlively at heart, when she hears I am so in discourse. And thereis no developing this without giving the queen the severestembarrassment as well as chagrin. Page 388 I would not turn Informer for the world. Mrs. Schwellenberg too, with all her faults, is heart and soul devoted to her roilmistress, with the truest faith and loyalty. I hold, therefore, silence on this subject to be a sacred duty. To return to you, my dearest padre, is the only road that has open for my return tostrength and comfort, bodily and mental. I m inexpressiblygrateful to the queen, but I burn to be delivered from Mrs. Schwellenberg, and I pine to be again in the arms of my padre. A ROYAL GIFT TO THE MASTER OF THE HORSE. What will you give me, fair ladies, for a copy of verse, writtenbetween the Queen of Great Britain and your most small littlejournalist? The morning of the ball the queen sent for me, and said she had afine pair of old-fashioned gloves, white, with stiff tops and adeep gold fringe, which she meant to send to her new master ofthe horse, Lord Harcourt, who was to be at the dance, She wishedto convey them in a copy of verses, of which she had composedthree lines, but could not get on. She told me her ideas, and Ihad the honour to help her in the metre and now I have the honourto copy them from her own royal hand:-- "TO THE EARL OF HARCOURT. "Go, happy gloves, bedeck Earl Harcourt's hand, And let him know they come from fairy-land, Where ancient customs still retain their reign; To modernize them all attempts were vain. Go, cries Queen Mab, some noble owner seek, Who has a proper taste for the antique. " Now, no criticising, fair ladies !-the assistant was neitherallowed a pen nor a moment, but called upon to help finish, asshe might have been to hand a fan. The earl, you may suppose, was sufficiently enchanted. CONFERENCES WITH THE QUEEN. April. -In the course of this month I had two conferences with myroyal mistress upon my resignation, in which I spoke with allpossible openness upon its necessity. She condescended to speakvery honourably of my dear father to me, --and, in a longdiscourse upon my altered health with Mrs. De Page 389 Luc, she still further condescended to speak most graciously ofhis daughter, saying in particular, these strong words, in answerto something kind uttered by that good friend in my favour. "O, as to character, she is what we call in German 'true as gold'and, in point of heart, there is not, all the world over, onebetter"--and added something further upon sincerity veryforcibly. This makes me very happy. She deigned, also, in one of these conferences, to consult withme openly upon my successor, stating her difficulties, and makingme enumerate various requisites. It would be dangerous, shesaid, to build upon meeting in England with one who would bediscreet in point of keeping off friends and acquaintances fromfrequenting the palace; and she graciously implied muchcommendation of my discretion, in her statement of what shefeared from a new person. May. -As no notice whatever was taken, all this time, of mysuccessor, or my retirement, after very great harass of suspense, and sundry attempts to conquer it, I had at length again aconference with my royal mistress. She was evidently displeasedat again being called upon, but I took the courage to openlyremind her that the birthday was her majesty's own time, and thatmy father conceived it to be the period of my attendance by herespecial appointment. And this was a truth which flashed its ownconviction on her recollection. She paused, and then, assentingly, said, "Certainly. " I then added, that as, after thebirthday, their majesties went to Windsor, and the early prayersbegan immediately, I must needs confess I felt myself whollyunequal to encountering the fatigue of rising for them in mypresent weakened state. She was now very gracious again, conscious all this was fair and true. She told me her ownembarrassments concerning the successor, spoke confidentially ofher reasons for not engaging an Englishwoman, and acknowledged aperson was fixed upon, though something yet remained unarranged. She gave me, however, to understand that all would be expedited:and foreign letters were despatched, I know, immediately. MISS BURNEY DETERMINES ON SECLUSION. >From Sunday, May 15 to May 22. -The trial of the poor persecutedMr. Hastings being now again debating and arranging forcontinuance, all our house, I found, expected me now to comeforth, and my royal mistress and Mrs. Schwellenberg Page 390 thought I should find it irresistible. Indeed it nearly was so, from my anxious interest in the approaching defence; but when Iconsidered the rumours likely to be raised after my retreat, bythose terrifying watchers of Court transactions who inform thepublic of their conjectures, I dreaded the probable assertionthat I must needs be disgusted or discontented, for health couldnot be the true motive of my resignation, since I was in publicjust before it took place. I feared, too, that even those whopromoted the enterprise might reproach me with my ability to dowhat I wished. These considerations determined me to run novoluntary risks - especially as I should so ill know how to parryMr. Windham, should he now attack me upon a subject concerningwhich he merits thanks so nobly, that I am satisfied my nextinterview with him must draw them forth from me. Justice, satisfaction in his exertions, and gratitude for their spiritedwillingness, all call upon me to give him that poor return. Thedanger of it, however, now, is too great to be tried, ifavoidable : and I had far rather avoid seeing him, than eithergratify myself by expressing my sense of his kindness, orunjustly withhold from him what I think of it. These considerations determined me upon relinquishing all publicplaces, and all private visits, for the present. The trial, however, was delayed, and the Handelian Commemorationcame on. My beloved Mr. And Mrs. Locke will have told my Susanmy difficulties in this business, and I will now tell all threehow they ended. The queen, unexpectedly, having given me a ticket, and enjoinedme to go the first day, that I might have longer time to recruitagainst the king's birthday, I became, as you will have heard, much distressed what course to pursue. I took the first moment I was alone with her majesty to expressmy father's obligation to her for not suffering me to sit up onher own birthday, in this week, and I besought her permission tolay before her my father's motives for hitherto wishing me tokeep quiet this spring, as well as my own, adding I was sure hermajesty would benignly wish this business to be done as peaceablyand unobserved as possible. She looked extremely earnest, andbid me proceed. I then briefly stated that whoever had the high honour ofbelonging to their majesties were liable to comments upon alltheir actions, that, if the comment was only founded in truth, wehad nothing to fear, but that, as the world was much less Page 391 addicted to veracity, than to mischief, my father and myself hadan equal apprehension that, if I should now be seen in public soquickly before the impending change, reports might be spread, assoon as I went home, that it could not be for health I resigned. She listened very attentively and graciously, and instantly, acquiesced. When the trial actually recommenced, the queen grew anxious formy going to it : she condescended to intimate that my accounts ofit were the most faithful and satisfactory she received, and toexpress much Ill-will to giving them up. The motives I hadmentioned, however, were not merely personal she could not butsee any comments must involve more than myself, and therefore Iabided steadily by her first agreement to my absenting myselffrom all public places, and only gently joined in her regret, which I forcibly enough felt in this instance, Without venturingany offer of relinquishing the prudential plan previouslyarranged. She gave me tickets for Charles for every day that thehall was opened, and I collected what I could of information fromhim for her satisfaction. THE HASTINGS TRIAL RESUMED: 'THE ACCUSED MAKES HISDEFENCE. Queen's House, London, June. -the opening of this month hermajesty told me that the next day Mr. Hastings was to make hisdefence, and warmly added, "I would give the world you could goto it!" This was an expression so unusual in animation, that I instantlytold her I would write to my father, who could not possibly, inthat case, hesitate. "Surely, " she cried, "you may wrap up, so as not to catch coldthat once?" I told her majesty that, as my father had never thought going outwould be really prejudicial to my health, he had only wished tohave his motive laid fairly before her majesty, and then to leaveit to her own command. Her majesty accepted this mode ofconsent, and gave me tickets for Charles and Sarah to accompanyme, and gave leave and another ticket for Mr. De Luc to be of theparty. Thursday, June 2. -I went once more to Westminster Hall. Charlesand Sarah came not to their time, and I left directions andtickets, and set off with only Mr. De Luc, to secure our Page 392 own, and keep places for them. The Hall was more crowded than onany day since the trial commenced, except the first. Peers, commoners, and counsel, peeresses, commoneresses, and thenumerous indefinites crowded every part, with a just and faircuriosity to hear one day's defence, after seventy-three ofaccusation. Unfortunately I sat too high up to hear the opening, and when, afterwards, the departure of some of my obstacles removed melower, I was just behind some of those unfeeling enemies who havenot even the decorum due to themselves, of appearing to listen towhat is offered against their own side. I could only make outthat this great and persecuted man upon a plan all his own, andat a risk impossible to ascertain) was formally making his owndefence, not with retaliating declamation, but by a simple, concise, and most interesting statement of facts, and of thenecessities accompanying them in the situation to which the Housethen impeaching had five times called him. He spoke with mostgentlemanly temper of his accusers, his provocation considered, yet with a firmness of disdain of the injustice with which he hadbeen treated in return for his services, that was striking andaffecting, though unadorned and manly. His spirit, however, and the injuries which raised it, rested notquietly upon his particular accusers: he arraigned the lateminister, Lord North, of ingratitude and double-dealing, and thepresent minister, Mr. Pitt, of unjustifiably and unworthilyforbearing to Sustain him. Here Mr. Fox, artfully enough, interrupted to say the king'sministers were not to be arraigned for what passed in the Houseof Parliament. Mr. Burke arose also' to enter his protest. But Mr. Hastings then lost his patience and his temper: he wouldnot suffer the interruption; he had never, he said, interruptedtheir long speeches; and when Mr. Burke again attempted to speak, Mr. Hastings, in an impassioned but affecting manner, extendedhis arms, and called out loudly, "I throw myself Upon theprotection of your lordships:--I am not used to public speaking, and cannot answer them. What I wish to submit to your lordshipsI have committed to paper; but, if I am punished for what I say, I must insist upon being heard--I call upon you, my lords, toprotect me from this violence!" This animated appeal prevailed; the managers were silenced by analmost universal cry of "Hear, hear, hear!" from the Page 393 lords; and by Lord Kenyon, who represented the chancellor, andsaid, "Mr. Hastings, proceed. " The angry orators, though with a very ill grace, were thensilenced. They were little aware what a compliment thisintemperate eagerness was paying to Mr. Hastings, who for so manylong days manifested that fortitude against attack, and thatpatience against abuse, which they could not muster, Without anyparallel in provocation, even for three short hours. I rejoicedwith all my heart to find Mr. Windham was not in their box. Hedid not enter with them in procession, nor appear as a manager orparty concerned, further than as a member of the House ofCommons. I could not distinguish him in so large a group, and heeither saw not, or knew not, me. The conclusion of the defence I heard better, as Mr. Hastingsspoke considerably louder from this time; the spirit ofindignation animated his manner and gave strength to his voice. You will have seen the chief parts of his discourse In thenewspapers and you cannot, I think, but grow more and more hisfriend as you peruse it. He called pathetically and solemnly forinstant judgment; but the Lords, after an adjournment decided tohear his defence by evidence, and order, the next sessions. Howgrievous such continual delay to a man past sixty, and sighingfor such a length of time for redress from a prosecution as yetunparalleled in our annals. When it was over, Colonel Manners came round to speak to -me andtalk over the defence. He is warmly for Mr. Hastings. Heinquired about Windsor; I should have made him stare a little hadI told him I never expected to see him there again. MR. WINDHAM IS CONGRATULATED ON HIS SILENCE. When he came down-stairs into the large waiting-hall, Mr. De Lucwent in search of William and chairs. Sally then immediatelydiscerned Mr. Windham with some ladies. He looked at me withoutat first knowing me. . . . Sarah whispered me Mr. Windham waslooking harder and harder; and presently he came up to me, and ina tone of very deep concern, and with a look that fully concurredwith 'it, he said, "Do I see Miss Burney?" I could not but feel the extent of the interrogation, and myassent acknowledged my comprehension. "Indeed, " he cried, "I was going to make a speech--not Verygallant!" Page 394 , "But it is what I should like better, " I cried, " for it is kindif you were going to say I look miserably ill, as that is but anecessary consequence of feeling so, --and miserably ill enough Ihave felt this long time past. " He would not allow quite that, he said; but I flew from thesubject, to tell him I had been made very happy by him. HE gaveme one of his starts, --but immediately concluded it was by nogood, and therefore would not speak in inquiry. "Why, I did not see you in the box, " I cried, "and I had beenvery much afraid I should have seen you there. But now my fearsare completely over, and you have made me completely happy!" He protested, with a comic but reproachful smile, he knew not howto be glad, if it was still only in the support of a bad cause, and if still I really supported it. And then he added he hadgone amongst the House of Commons instead of joining themanagers, because that enabled him to give his place to a friend, who was not a member. "You must be sure, " said I, "you would see me here to-day. " I had always threatened him with giving fairest play to thedefence, and always owned I had been most afraid Of his harangue;therefore to find the charges end without his making it saved mecertainly a shake, --either for Mr. Hastings or himself, --for oneof them must thenceforth have fallen in my estimation. Ibelieve, however, this was a rather delicate point, as he made meno answer, but a grave smile; but I am sure he instantlyunderstood his relinquishing his intended charge was my subjectof exultation. And, to make it plainer, I then added, "I amreally very generous to be thus made happy, considering how greathas been my curiosity. " "But, to have gratified that curiosity, " cried he, "would havebeen no very particular inducement with me; though I have noright to take it for a compliment, as there are two species ofcuriosity, --yours, therefore, you leave wholly ambiguous. " "O, I am content with that, " cried I so long as I am gratified, Igive you leave to take it which way you please. " He murmured something I could not distinctly hear, of concern atmy continued opinion upon this subject; but I do not think, byhis manner, it much surprised him. "You know, " cried I, "why, as well as what, I feared--that fatalcandour, of which so long ago you warned me to beware. Page 395 to the very last moment And, indeed, I was kept n alarmfor at every figure I saw start up, just now, --Mr. Fox, Mr. Burke, Mr. Grey, --I concluded yours would be the next. " "You were prepared, then, " cried he, with no little malice, "fora voice issuing from a distant pew. "(340) Miss BURNEY MAKES HER REPORT. When we came home I was immediately summoned to her majesty, towhom I gave a full and fair account of all I had heard of thedefence; and it drew tears from her expressive eyes as I repeatedMr. Hastings's own words, upon the hardship and injustice of thetreatment he had sustained. Afterwards, at night, the king called upon me to repeat myaccount and I was equally faithful, sparing nothing of what haddropped from the persecuted defendant relative to his majesty'sministers. I thought official accounts might be less detailedthere than against the managers, who, as open enemies, excite notso much my "high displeasure" as the friends of government, whoso insidiously elected and panegyrised him while they wanted hisassistance, and betrayed and deserted him when he was no longerin a capacity to serve them. Such, at least, is the light inwhich the defence places them. The king listened with much earnestness and a marked compassion. He had already read the account sent him officially, but he wasas eager to hear all I could recollect, as if still uninformed ofwhat had passed. The words may be given to the eye, but theimpression they make can only be conveyed by the ear; and I cameback so eagerly interested, that my memory was not more storedwith the very words than my voice with the intonations of allthat had passed. With regard to My bearing this sole unofficial exertion since myillness, I can only say the fatigue I felt bore not any parallelwith that of every Drawing--room day, because I was seated. PRINCE WILLIAM INSISTS ON THE KING'S HEALTH BEING DRUNK. June 4. -Let me now come to the 4th, the last birthday of thegood, gracious, benevolent king I shall ever, in all humanprobability, pass under his royal roof. Page 396 The thought was affecting to me, in defiance of MY volunteerconduct, and I could scarce speak to the queen when I first wentto her, and wished to say something upon a day So interesting. The king was most gracious and kind when he came into the statedressing-room at St. James's, and particularly inquired about myhealth and strength, and if they would befriend me for the day. I longed again to tell him how hard I would work them, ratherthan let them, on such a day, drive me from my office; but Ifound it better suited me to be quiet; It was safer not to trustto any expression of loyalty, with a mind so full, and on a dayso critical. At dinner Mrs. Schwellenberg presided, attired magnificently. Miss Goldsworthy, Mrs. Stainforth, Messrs. De Luc and Stanhopedined with us; and, while we were still eating fruit, the Duke ofClarence entered. He was just risen from the king's table, andwaiting for his equipage to go home and prepare for the ball. Togive you an idea of the energy of his royal highness's language, I ought to set apart a "general objection to writing, or ratherintimating, certain forcible words, and beg leave to show you, ingenuine colours, a royal sailor. We all rose, of course, upon his entrance, and the two gentlemenplaced themselves behind their chairs while the footmen left theroom ; but he ordered us all to sit down, and called the men backto hand about some wine. He was in exceeding high spirits and inthe utmost good humour. He placed himself at the head of thetable, next Mrs. Schwellenberg, and looked remarkably well, gay, and full of sport and mischief, yet clever withal as well ascomical. "Well, this is the first day I have ever dined with the king atSt. James's on his birthday. Pray, have you all drunk hismajesty's health?" "No, your roy'l highness: your roy'l highness might make dem dodat, " said Mrs. Schwellenberg. "O, by --- will I! Here, you (to the footman), bring champagne! I'll drink the king's health again, if I die for it Yet, I havedone pretty well already: so has the king, I promise you! Ibelieve his majesty was never taken such good care of before. Wehave kept his spirits up, I promise you: we have enabled him togo through his fatigues; and I should have done more still, butfor the ball and Mary--I have promised to dance with Mary!" Princess Mary made her first appearance at Court to-dayShe looked most interesting and unaffectedly lovely - she is a Page 397, Sweet creature, and perhaps, in point of beauty, the first ofthis truly beautiful race, of which Princess Mary may be calledpendant to the Prince of Wales. Champagne being now brought for the duke, he ordered it allround. When it came to me I whispered to Westerhaults to carryit on: the duke slapped his hand violently on the table, andcalled out, "O, by ----, you shall drink it!" There was no resisting this. We all stood up, and the dukesonorously gave the royal toast. "And now, " cried he, making usall sit down again, "where are my rascals of servants? I sha'n'tbe in time for the ball; besides, I've got a deuced tailorwaiting to fix on my epaulette! Here, you, go and see for myservants! d'ye hear? Scamper off!" Off ran William. "Come, let's have the king's health again. De Luc, drink it. Here, champagne to De Luc!" I wish you could have seen Mr. De Luc's mixed simper halfpleased, half alarmed. However, the wine came and he drank it, the duke taking a bumper for himself at the same time. " Poor Stanhope!" cried he; "Stanhope shall have a glass too. Here, champagne! what are you all about? Why don't YOU givechampagne to poor Stanhope?" Mr. Stanhope, with great pleasure, complied, and the duke again accompanied him. "Come hither, do you hear?" cried the duke to the servants; andon the approach, slow and submissive, of Mrs. Stainforth's man, he hit him a violent slap on the back, callingout, "Hang you! why don't you see for my rascals?" Away flew the man, and then he called out to Westerhaults, "Hark'ee! bring another glass of champagne to Mr. De Luc!" Mr. De Luc knows these royal youths too well to venture at sovain an experiment as disputing with them, so he only shruggedhis shoulders and drank the wine. The duke did the same. "And now, poor Stanhope, " cried the duke, "giveanother glass to poor Stanhope, d'ye hear?" "Is not your royal highness afraid, " cried Mr. Stanhope, displaying the full circle of his borrowed teeth, "I shall be aptto be rather up in the world, as the folks say, if I tope on atthis rate?" "Not at all! you can't get drunk in a better cause, I'd get Page 398 drunk myself' if it was not for the ball. Here, champagne!another glass for the philosopher! I keep sober for Mary. " "O, your royal highness cried Mr. De Luc, gaining courage as hedrank, "you will make me quite droll Of it if you make me goon, --quite droll!" "So much the better! so much the better! it will do you amonstrous deal of good. Here, another glass of- champagne forthe queen's philosopher!" Mr. De Luc obeyed, and the duke then addressed Mrs. Schwellenberg's George. "Here! you! you! why, where is mycarriage? run and see, do you hear?" Off hurried George, grinning irrepressibly. "If it was not for that deuced tailor, I would not stir. I shalldine at the Queen's house on Monday, Miss Goldsworthy; I shallcome to dine with the princess royal. I find she does not go toWindsor with the queen. " The queen meant to spend one day at Windsor, on account of areview which carried the king that way. Some talk then ensued upon the duke's new carriage, which theyall agreed to be the most beautiful that day, at court. I hadnot seen it, which, to me, was some impediment against praisingit. THE QUEEN's HEALTH. He then said it was necessary to drink the queens health. Thegentlemen here made no demur, though Mr. De Luc arched hiseyebrows in expressive fear of consequences. "A bumper, " cried the duke, "to the queen's gentleman-usher. " They all stood up and drank the queen's health. "Here are three of us, " cried the duke, "all belonging to thequeen: the queen's philosopher, the queen's gentlemanusher, andthe queen's son; but, thank heaven, I'm the nearest!" "Sir, " cried Mr. Stanhope, a little affronted, "I am not now thequeen's gentleman-usher; I am the queen's equerry, sir. " "A glass more of champagne here! What are you all so slow for?Where are all my rascals gone? They've put me in one passionalready this morning. Come, a glass of champagne for the queen'sgentleman-usher!" laughing heartily. "No, sir, " repeated Mr. Stanhope; "I am equerry, sir. " "And another glass to the queen's philosopher!" Neither gentleman objected; but Mrs. Schwellenberg, who Page 399 had sat laughing and happy all this time, now grew alarmed, andsaid, "Your royal highness, I am afraid for the ball!" "Hold your potato-jaw, my dear, " cried the duke, patting her -but, recollecting himself, he took her hand and pretty abruptlykissed it, and then, flinging it away hastily, laughed aloud, andcalled out, "There, that will make amends for anything, so now Imay say what I will. So here! a glass of champagne for thequeen's philosopher and the queen's gentleman-usher! Hang me ifit will not do them a monstrous deal of good!" Here news was brought that the equipage was in order. He startedup, calling out, "Now, then, for my deuced tailor. " "O, your royal highness, " cried Mr. De Luc, in a tone ofexpostulation, "now you have made us droll, you go!" Off! however, he went. And is it not a curious scene? All myamaze is, how any of their heads bore such libations. THE PROCESSION TO THE BALL-ROOM: ABSENCE OF THE PRINCES. In the evening I had by no means strength to encounter theball-room. I gave my tickets to Mrs. And Miss Douglas. Mrs. Stainforth was dying to see the Princess Mary in her Court dress. Mr. Stanhope offered to conduct her to a place of prospect. Shewent with him. I thought this preferable to an unbroken eveningwith my fair companion, and Mr. De Luc, thinking the same, weboth left Mrs. Schwellenberg to unattire, and followed. But wewere rather in a scrape by trusting to Mr. Stanhope after allthis champagne: he had carried Mrs. Stainforth to the very doorof the ball-room, and there fixed her--in a place which the king, queen, and suite must brush past in order to enter the ball-room. I had followed, however, and the crowds of beef-eaters, officers, and guards that lined all the state-rooms through which weexhibited ourselves, prevented my retreating alone. I stood, therefore, next to Mrs. Stainforth, and saw the ceremony. The passage was made so narrow by attendants, that they were allforced to go one by one. First, all the king's greatstate-officers, amongst whom I recognised Lord Courtown, atreasurer of the household; Lord Salisbury carried a candle!--'tis an odd etiquette. --These being passed, came the king--he sawus and laughed; then the queen's master of the horse, LordHarcourt, who did ditto; then some more. Page 400 The vice-chamberlain carries the queen's candle, that she mayhave the arm of the lord chamberlain to lean on; accordingly, Lord Aylesbury, receiving that honour, now preceded the queen:she looked amazed at sight of us. The kind princesses one by oneacknowledged us. I spoke to sweet Princess Mary, wishing herroyal highness joy: she looked in a delight and an alarm nearlyequal. She was to dance her first minuet. Then followed theladies of the bedchamber, and Lady Harcourt was particularlycivil. Then the maids of honour, every one of whom knew andspoke to us. I peered vainly for the Duke of Clarence, but noneof the princes passed us. (341) What a crowd brought up the rear! I was vexed not to see the Prince of Wales. Well, God bless the king! and many and many such days may heknow! I was now so tired as to be eager to go back; but the queen'sphilosopher, the good and most sober and temperate of men, wasreally a little giddy with all his bumpers, and his eyes, whichwere quite lustrous, could not fix any object steadily; while thepoor gentleman-usher--equerry, I mean--kept his Mouth so wideopen with one continued grin, -I suppose from the sparklingbeverage, --that I was every minute afraid its pearly ornaments, which never fit their case, would have fallen at our feet. Mrs. Stainforth gave me a significant look of making the sameobservation, and, catching me fast by the arm, said, "Come, MissBurney, let's you and I take care of one another"; and then shesafely toddled me back to Mrs. Schwellenberg, who greeted us withsaying, "Vell! bin you Much amused? Dat Prince Villiam--oders deDuke de Clarrence--bin raelly ver merry--oders vat you calltipsy!" BOSWELL's LIFE OF JOHNSON. Mr, Turbulent had been reading, like all the rest of the world, Boswell's "Life of Dr. Johnson, " and the preference thereexpressed of Mrs. Lenox to all other females had filled Page 401 him with astonishment, as he had never even heard her name. (342) These occasional sallies of Dr. Johnson, uttered from localcauses and circumstances, but all retailed verbatim by Mr. Boswell, are filling all sort of readers with amaze, except thesmall part to whom Dr. Johnson was known, and who, byacquaintance with the power of the moment over his unguardedconversation, know how little of his solid opinion was- to begathered from his accidental assertions. The king, who was now also reading this work, applied to me forexplanations without end. Every night at his period he enteredthe queen's dressing-room, and detained her majesty's proceedingsby a length of discourse with me upon this subject. All thatflowed from himself was constantly full of the goodness andbenevolence of his character - and I was never so happy as in theopportunity thus graciously given me of vindicating, in instancesalmost innumerable, the serious principles and variousexcellences of my revered Dr. Johnson from the clouds sofrequently involving and darkening them, in narrations so littlecalculated for any readers who were strangers to his intrinsicworth, and therefore worked upon and struck by what was faulty inhis temper and manners. I regretted not having strength to read this work to her majestymyself. It was an honour I should else have certainly received_; for so much wanted clearing! so little was understood!However, the queen frequently condescended to read over passagesand anecdotes which perplexed or offended her; and there werenone I had not a fair power to soften or to justify. THE CLOSE OF MISS BURNEY'S COURT DUTIES. Her majesty, the day before we left Windsor, gave me tounderstand my attendance Would be yet one more fortnight Page 402 requisite, though no longer. I heard this with a fearfulpresentiment I should surely never go through another fortnightin so weak and languishing and painful a state of health. However, I could but accede, though I fear with no very Courtlygrace. So melancholy indeed was the state of my mind, from theweakness of my frame, that I was never alone but to form scenesof "foreign woe, " where my own disturbance did not occupy mewholly. I began--almost whether I would or not--another tragedy! The other three all unfinished! not one read! and one of them, indeed, only generally sketched as to plan and character. But Icould go on With nothing; I could only suggest and invent. The power of composition has to me indeed proved ablessing! When incapable of all else, that, unsolicited, unthought of, has presented itself to my solitary leisure, andbeguiled me of myself, though it has not of late regaled me withgayer associates. July. -I come now to write the last week of my royal residence. The queen honoured me with the most uniform graciousness, andthough, as the time of separation approached, her cordialityrather diminished, and traces of internal displeasure appearedsometimes, arising from an opinion I ought rather to havestruggled on, live or die, than to quit her, yet I am sure shesaw how poor was my own chance, except by a change in the mode oflife, and at least ceased to wonder, though she could notapprove. The king was more Courteous, more communicative, more amiable, atvery meeting: and he condescended to hold me in conversation withhim by every opportunity, and with an air of such benevolence andgoodness, that I never felt such ease and pleasure in his noticebefore. He talked over all Mr. Boswell's book, and I related tohim sundry anecdotes of Dr. Johnson, all highly to his honour, and such as I was eager to make known, He always heard me withthe utmost complacency and encouraged me to proceed in myaccounts by every mark of attention and interest. He told me once, laughing heartily, that, having seen my name inthe index, he was eager to come to what was said of me, but whichhe found so little, he was surprised and disappointed. I ventured to assure him how much I had myself been rejoiced atthis very circumstance, and with what satisfaction had reflectedupon having very seldom met Mr. Boswell, as I Page 403 new there was no other security against all manner of risks inhis relations. About this time Mr. Turbulent made me a visit at tea-time whenthe gentlemen were at the Castle and the moment William left theroom he eagerly said, "Is this true, Miss Burney, that I hear? Are we going to lose you?" I was much surprised, but Could not deny the charge. He, verygood-naturedly, declared himself much pleased at a release whichhe protested he thought necessary to my life's preservation. Imade him tell me the channel through which a business I hadguarded SO scrupulously Myself had reached him; but it Is toofull of windings for writing. With Mr. De Luc I was already in confidence upon my resignation, and with the knowledge of the queen, as he had received theintelligence from Germany, whence my successor was now arriving. I then also begged the indulgence of writing to Mr. Smelt uponthe subject, which was accorded me. My next attack was from Miss Planta. She expressed herself inthe deepest concern at my retiring, though she not onlyacknowledged its necessity, but confessed she had not thought Icould have performed my official duty even one year! She brokefrom me while we talked, leaving me abruptly in a violent passionof tears. MISS BURNEY'S SUCCESSOR. A PENSION FROM THE QUEEN. I had soon the pleasure to receive Mlle. Jacobi. (343) Shebrought with her a young German, as her maid, who proved to beher niece, but so poor she could not live when her aunt leftGermany! Mr. Best, a messenger of the king's, brought her toWindsor, and Mrs. Best, his wife, accompanied him. I was extremely pleased with Mlle. Jacobi, who is tall, wellmade, and nearly handsome, and of a humour so gay, anunderstanding so lively, and manners so frank and ingenuous, thatI felt an immediate regard for her, and we grew mutual goodfriends. She is the daughter of a dignified clergyman ofHanover, high in theological fame. They all dined with me, - and, indeed, Mlle. Jacobi, wanting athousand informations in her new situation, which I was mosthappy to give her, seldom quitted me an instant. Tuesday morning I had a conversation, very long and veryaffecting to me, with her majesty. I cannot pretend to detail Page 404 it. I will only tell you she began by speaking of Mlle. Jacobi, whom I had the satisfaction to praise, as far as had appeared, very warmly and then she led me to talk at large upon the natureand requisites and circumstances of the situation I was leaving. I said whatever I could suggest that would tend to render mySuccessor more comfortable, and had the great happiness torepresent with success the consolation and very innocent pleasureshe might reap from the society of the young relation she hadbrought over, if she might be permitted to treat her at once as acompanion, and not as a servant. This was heard with the mosthumane complacency, and I had leave given me to forward the planin various ways. She then conversed upon sundry Subjects, all ofthem confidential in their nature, for near an hour; and then, after a pause, said, "Do I owe you anything, my dear MissBurney?" I acquainted her with a debt or two amounting to near seventypounds. She said she would settle it in the afternoon, and thenpaused again, after which, with a look full of benignity, shevery expressively said, "As I don't know your plan, or what youpropose, I cannot tell what Would make you comfortable, but youknow the size of my family. " I comprehended her, and was immediately interrupting her withassurances of my freedom from all expectation or claim; but shestopped me, saying, "You know what you now have from me:--thehalf of that I mean to continue. " Amazed and almost overpowered by a munificence I had so littleexpected or thought of, I poured forth the most earnestdisclaimings of such a mark of her graciousness, declaring I knewtoo well her innumerable calls to be easy in receiving it andmuch more I uttered to this purpose, with the unaffected warmththat animated me at the moment. She heard me almost silently;but, in conclusion, Simply, yet strongly, said, "I shallcertainly do that" with a stress on the that that seemed tokindly mean she would rather have done more. The conference was in this stage when the Princess Elizabeth cameinto the room. The queen then retired to the antechamber. Myeyes being full, and my heart not very empty, I could not thenforbear saying to her royal highness how much the goodness of thequeen had penetrated me. The sweet princess spoke feelings Icould not expect, by the immediate glistening of her soft eyes. She condescended to express her concern At my retiring; but mostkindly added, "However, Page 405 Miss Burney, go when you will, that you have this to comfort you, your behaviour has been most perfectly honourable. " LEAVE-TAKINGS. This, my last day at Windsor, was filled with nothing butpacking, leave-taking, bills-paying, and lessoning to Mlle. Jacobi, who adhered to my side through everything, and alwayswith an interest that made its own way for her. All the people Ihad to Settle With poured forth for my better health good wisheswithout end; but amongst the most unwilling for my retreat stoodpoor Mrs. Astley. (344) Indeed she quite saddened me by hersadness, and by the recollections of that sweet and angelic beingher mistress, who had so solaced my early days at that place. Mr. Bryant, too, came this same morning; he had an audience ofthe queen: he knew nothing previously of my design. He seemedthunderstruck. "Bless me!" he cried, in his short and simple butexpressive manner, "so I shall never see you again, never havethe honour to dine in that apartment with you more!" etc. Iwould have kept him to dinner this last day, but he was not well, and would not be persuaded. He would not, however, bid me adieu, but promised to endeavour to see me some time at Chelsea. I had then a little note from Miss Gomme, desiring to see me inthe garden. She had just gathered the news. I do not believeany one Was more disposed to be sorry, if the Sight and sense ofmy illness had not checked her concern. She highly approved thestep I was taking, and was most cordial and kind. Miss Plantacame to tell me she must decline dining with me, as she felt sheshould cry all dinner-time, in reflecting upon its being our lastmeal together at Windsor, and this might affront Mlle. Jacobi. The queen deigned to come once more to my apartment thisafternoon. She brought me the debt. It was a most mixed feelingwith which I now saw her. In the evening came Madame de la Fite, I need not tell you, Iimagine, that her expressions were of "la plus vife douleur, ";yet she owned she could not wonder my father should try whatanother life would do for me. My dear Mrs. De Luc came next;She, alone, knew of this while impending. She rejoiced the timeof deliverance was arrived, for she had Page 406 often feared I should outstay my strength, and sink while thematter was arranging. She rejoiced, however, with tears in herkind eyes; and, indeed, I took leave of her With true regret. It was nine o'clock before I could manage to go down the gardento the lower Lodge, to pay my duty to the younger princesses, whom I Could not else see at all, as they never go to town forthe Court-days. I went first up-stairs to Gomme, and had themortification to learn that the sweet Princess Amelia was alreadygone to bed. This extremely grieved me. When or how I may seeher lovely little highness more, Heaven only knows! Miss Gommekindly accompanied me to Miss Goldsworthy's apartment, andpromised me a few more words before I set out the next morning. I found Mrs. Cheveley, at whose door, and at Miss Neven, hersister's, I had tapped and left my name, with Miss Goldsworthyand Dr. Fisher: that pleasing and worthy man has just taken adoctor's degree. I waited with Miss Goldsworthy till theprincesses Mary and Sophia came from the upper Lodge, which iswhen the king and queen go to supper. Their royal highnesses, were gracious even to kindness; they shook my hand again andagain, and wished me better health, and all happiness, with thesweetest earnestness. Princess Mary repeatedly desired to see mewhenever I came to the Queen's house, and condescended to make meas repeatedly promise that I would not fail. I was deeplytouched by their goodness, and by leaving them. Wednesday. -In the morning Mrs. Evans, the housekeeper, came totake leave of me; and the housemaid of my apartment, who, poorgirl, cried bitterly that I was going to give place to aforeigner, for Mrs. Schwellenberg's severity with servants hasmade all Germans feared in the house. O, but let me first mention that, when I came from the lowerLodge, late as it was, I determined to see my old friends theequerries, and not quit the place without bidding them adieu. Ihad never seen them since I had dared mention my designedretreat. I told William, therefore, to watch their return fromthe castle, and to give my compliments to either Colonel Gwynn orColonel Goldsworthy, and an invitation to my apartment. Colonel Goldsworthy came instantly. I told him I could not thinkof leaving Windsor without offering first my good Page 407 wishes to all the household. He said that, when my intendeddeparture had been published, he and all the gentlemen then withhim had declared it ought to have taken place six months ago. Hewas extremely courteous, and I begged him to bring to me, therest of his companions that were known to me. He immediately fetched Colonel Gwynn, General Grenville, ColonelRamsden, and Colonel Manners. This was the then party. I toldhim I sent to beg their blessing upon my departure. They wereall much pleased, apparently, that I had not made my exit withoutseeing them: they all agreed on the Urgency of the measure, andwe exchanged good wishes most cordially. My Wednesday morning's attendance upon the queen was a melancholyoffice. Miss Goldsworthy as well as Miss Gomme came early totake another farewell. I had not time to make any visits in thetown, but left commissions with Mrs. De Luc and Madame de laFite. Even Lady Charlotte Finch I could not Call upon, thoughshe had made me many kind visits since my illness. I wrote toher, however, by Miss Gomme, to thank her, and bid her adieu. FAREWELL TO KEW. Thursday, July 7. -This, my last day of office, was big and busy, --joyful, yet affecting to me in a high degree. In the morning, before I left Kew, I had my last interview withMrs. Schwellenberg. She was very kind in it, desiring to see mewhenever I could in town, during her residence at the Queen'shouse, and to hear from me by letter meanwhile. She then muchSurprised me by an offer of succeeding to her own place, --when itwas vacated either by her retiring or her death. This was, indeed, a mark of favour and confidence I had not expected. Ideclined, however, to enter upon the subject, as the manner inwhich she opened it made it very solemn, and, to her, veryaffecting. She would take no leave of me, but wished me betterhastily, and saying we should soon meet, she hurried suddenly outof the room. Poor woman! If her temper were not so irascible, Ireally believe her heart would be by no means wanting inkindness. I then took leave of Mrs. Sandys, giving her a token ofremembrance in return for her constant good behaviour, and Page 408 she showed marks of regard, and of even grief, I was sorry toreceive, as I could so little return. But the tragedy of tragedies was parting with Goter;(345) thatpoor girl did nothing but cry incessantly from the time she knewof our separation. I was very sorry to have no place torecommend her to, though I believe she may rather benefit by avacation that carries her to her excellent father and Mother, whoteach her nothing but good. I did what I could to soften theblow, by every exertion in my power in all ways; for it wasimpossible to be unmoved at her violence of sorrow. I then took leave of Kew Palace--the same party againaccompanying me, for the last time, in a royal vehicle going bythe name of Miss Burney's coach. THE FINAL PARTING. I come now near the close of my Court career. At St. James's all was graciousness; and my royal mistress gaveme to understand she would have me stay to assist at her toiletafter the Drawing-room; and much delighted me by desiring myattendance on the Thursday fortnight, when she came again totown. This lightened the parting in the pleasantest mannerpossible. When the queen commanded me to follow her to hercloset I was, indeed, in much emotion; but I told her that, aswhat had passed from Mrs. Schwellenberg in the morning had givenme to understand her majesty was fixed in her munificentintention, notwithstanding- what I had most unaffectedly urgedagainst it-- "Certainly, " she interrupted, "I shall certainly do it. " "Yet so little, " I continued, "had I thought it right to dwellupon such an expectation, that, in the belief your majesty wouldyet take it into further consideration, I had not even written Itto my father. " "Your father, " she again interrupted me, "has nothing to do withit; it is solely from me to you. " "Let me then humbly entreat, " I cried, "still in some measure tobe considered as a servant of your majesty, either as reader, orto assist occasionally if Mlle. Jacobi should be ill. " She looked most graciously pleased, and Immediately closed inwith the proposal, saying, "When your health is restored, --perhaps sometimes. " Page 409 I then fervently poured forth my thanks for all her goodness, andmy prayers for her felicity. She had her handkerchief in her hand or at her eyes the wholetime. I was so much moved by her condescending kindness, that assoon as I got out of the closet I nearly sobbed. I went to helpMlle. Jacobi to put up the jewels, that my emotion might the lessbe observed. The king then came into the room. He immediatelyadvanced to the window, where I stood, to speak to me. I was notthen able to comport myself steadily. I was forced to turn myhead away from him. He stood still and silent for some minutes, waiting to see if I should turn about; but I could not recovermyself sufficiently to face him, strange as it was to dootherwise; and Perceiving me quite overcome he walked away, and Isaw him no more. His kindness, his goodness, his benignity, never shall I forget--never think of but with fresh gratitude andreverential affection. They were now all going--I took, for the last time, the cloak ofthe queen, and, putting It over her shoulders, slightly venturedto press them, earnestly, though in a low voice, saying, "GodAlmighty bless your majesty!" She turned round, and, putting her hand upon my ungloved arm, pressed it with the greatest kindness, and said, "May you behappy!" She left me overwhelmed with tender gratitude. The three eldest princesses were in the next room: they ran in tome the moment the queen went onward. Princess Augusta andPrincess Elizabeth each took a hand, and the princess royal puthers over them. I could speak to none of them; but theyrepeated, "I wish you happy!--I wish you health!" again andagain, with the Sweetest eagerness. They then set off for Kew. Here, therefore, end my Court annals; after having lived in theservice of her majesty five years within ten days--from July 17, 1786, to July 7, 1791. (333) By her "Visions" Fanny apparently means her desire ofresigning her place at Court, and her hope of her father'sconcurrence. -ED. (334) i. E. , Attempts to induce him to procure for sundrystrangers some acquaintance with his daughter. -ED. (335) The Comtesse de Bouflers-Rouvrel and, probably, herdaughter-in-law, the Comtesse Amélie de Bouflers. Madame deBouflers-Rouvrel was distinguished in Parisian society as abel-esbrit, and corresponded for many years with Rousseau. Lefta widow in 1764, she became the mistress of the Prince de Conti. Her first visit to England was in 1763, when she was taken byTopham Beauclerk to see Dr. Johnson. She revisited this countryat the time of the emigration, but returning to France, wasimprisoned by the Revolutionists. The fall of Robespierre (July, 1794) restored her to liberty. Am6lie de Bouflers, lessfortunate than her mother-in-law, perished by the guillotine, June 27, 1794. -ED. (336) But is it possible, sir, that your daughter has noholidays? (337) Burke's speech, delivered February 9, in a debate on thearmy estimates, in which he took occasion to denounce, with greatvehemence, the principles and conduct of the French Revolution, which he contrasted, much to its disadvantage, with the EnglishRevolution of 1688. "The French, " he said, "had shown themselvesthe ablest architects of ruin that had hitherto appeared in theworld. " The sentiments uttered by Burke on this occasiondelighted the ministerialists and friends of the Court as much asthey dismayed his own party. As the debate proceeded he foundhimself in the strange position of a chief of opposition enduringthe compliments of the prime minister and the attacks of Fox andSheridan, who took a broader and juster view of the great eventsin France, though condemning equally with Burke the Excesses ofthe Revolutionists. Fox declared His grief at hearing, "from thelips of a man whom he loved and revered, " Sentiments "so hostileto the general principles of liberty. " This speech of Burke's maybe said to mark the commencement of that disagreement betweenhimself and Fox, which culminated in the total breach of theirfriendship. -ED. (338) Dr. Burney was a member of this famous club, having beenelected in 1784. Mr. Windham had been a member since 1778. -ED. (339) "Reflections on the Revolution in France, " publishedNovember 1, 1790. It was received by the public with avidity, and went through eleven editions within a year-ED. (340) An allusion to the imperious interruption of the marriageof Cecilia, and young Delvile. See "Cecilia, " book vii. , ch. 7. -ED. (341) Some weeks later Fanny has the following allusion to theball: "The Princess Mary chatted with me over her own adventureson the queen's birthday, when she first appeared at Court. Thehistory of her dancing at the ball, and the situation of herpartner and brother, the Duke of Clarence, she spoke of with asweet ingenuousness and artless openness which makes her veryamiable character. And not a little did I divert her when Irelated the duke's visit to our party! 'O, ' cried she, 'he toldme of it himself the next morning, and said, "You may think howfar I was gone, for I kissed the Schwellenberg's hand!"'"-ED. (342) "On the evening of Saturday May 15 [1784), he [Dr. Johnson]was in fine spirits at our Essex Head Club. He told us, 'I dinedyesterday at Patrick's with Mrs. Carter, Miss Hannah More, andFanny Burney. Three such women are not to be found: I know notwhere I could find a fourth, except Mrs. Lennox, who is superiorto them all. ' " (Boswell. ) This "occasional sally" cannot, ofcourse, be taken as expressing Johnson's deliberate opinion ofthe relative merits of Fanny Burney and Mrs. Lenox. He was anold friend of Charlotte Lenox, and had written in 1752 thededication for her "Female Quixote, " a novel of singular charmand humour, though scarcely to be placed on a par with "Evelina" or "Cecilia. "-ED. (343) Fanny's successor in office. -ED. 344) The old servant of Mrs. Delany. -ED. (345) Fanny's maid. -ED. Page 410 ' SECTION 18. (1791-2. ) REGAINED LIBERTY. [Fanny's rambling journey to the west with Mrs. Ord was apleasant restorative, to mind and body, and bore good fruithereafter in the pages, of " The Wanderer. " At Bath, in thecourse of this journey, she formed an acquaintance equallyinteresting and unlooked-for. It was certainly singular, to useher own words, "that the first visit I should make after leavingthe queen should be to meet the head of the opposition public, the Duchess of Devonshire!" The famous Whig duchess was then inher thirty-fifth year. Fanny's description of her personalcharms tallies exactly with the impression which we derive fromher portraits by Reynolds and Gainsborough: that their celebritywas due rather to expressiveness and animation than to acountenance regularly beautiful. But the charming duchess, like most other people, had a skeleton in her closet. Notwithstanding her high spirits, and "native. Cheerfulness, ""she appeared to me not happy, " writes our penetrating Diarist. What was the skeleton? Not gambling debts, although the duchessfollowed the fashion of the day, and Sheridan declared that hehad handed her into her carriage when she was literally sobbingat her losses. Fanny gives us a hint, slight but unmistakeable. At their first meeting the duchess was accompanied by anotherlady--a beautiful, alluring woman, with keen dark eyes, whosmiled, some one said, "like Circe. " Lady Spencer introduced herdaughter to Miss Burney with warm pleasure, and then, "slightly and as if unavoidably, " named the beautiful enchantress--LadyElizabeth Foster. It is only necessary to add that in 1809, somethree years after the death of his first wife, the DuchessGeorgiana, the Duke of Devonshire married again, and his secondwife was Lady Elizabeth Foster. -ED. ] Page 411 RELEASED FROM DUTY. Chelsea College, July. -My dear father was waiting for me in myapartment at St. James's when their majesties and their fairroyal daughters were gone. He brought me home, and welcomed memost sweetly. My heart was a little sad, in spite of itscontentment. My joy in quitting my place extended not toquitting the king and queen; and the final marks of their benignfavour had deeply impressed me. My mother received me accordingto my wishes, and Sarah Most cordially. My dear James and Charles speedily came to see me; and oneprecious half-day I was indulged with my kind Mr. Locke and hisFredy. If i had been stouter and stronger in health, I shouldthen have been almost flightily happy; but the Weakness of theframe still kept the rest in order. My ever-kind Miss Cambridgewas also amongst the foremost to hasten with congratulations onmy return to my old ways and to make me promise to visitTwickenham after my projected tour with Mrs. Ord. I could myself undertake no visiting at this time; rest and quietbeing quite essential to my recovery. But my father did thehonours for me amongst those who had been most interested in myresignation. He called instantly upon Sir Joshua Reynolds andMiss Palmer, and Mr. Burke; and he wrote to Mr. Walpole, Mr. Seward, Mrs. Crewe, Mr. Windham, and my Worcester uncle. Mr. Walpole wrote the most charming of answers, In the gallantry ofthe old Court, and with all its wit, concluding with a warminvitation to Strawberry Hill. Sir Joshua and Miss Palmer Sent meevery species of kind exultation. Mr. Burke was not in town. Mr. Seward wrote very heartily and cordially, and came also whenmy Susanna was here. Mrs. Crewe immediately pressed me to comeand recruit at Crewe Hall in Cheshire, where she promised merepose, and good air, and good society. A WESTERN JOURNEY: FARNHAM CASTLE. Sidmouth, Devonshire, Monday, Aug. 1. -I have now been a week outupon my travels, but have not had the means or the time, tillthis moment, to attempt their brief recital. Page 412 Mrs. Ord called for me about ten in the morning. I left mydearest father with the less regret, as his own journey to Mrs. Crewe was very soon to take place. It was a terribly rainymorning, but I was eager not to postpone the excursion. As wetravelled on towards Staines, I could scarcely divest myself ofthe idea that I was but making again my usual journey to Windsor;and I could with difficulty forbear calling Mrs. Ord Miss Plantaduring the whole of that well-known road. I did not, indeed, take her maid, who was our third in the coach, for Mr. De Luc, orMr. Turbulent; but the place she occupied made me think much moreof those I so long had had for my vis-`a-vis than of herself. We went on no farther than to Bagshot: thirty miles was theextremity of our powers; but I bore them very tolerably, thoughvariably. We put up at the best inn, very early, and theninquired what we could see In the town and neighbourhood. "Nothing!" was the concise answer of a staring maid. Wedetermined, therefore, to prowl to the churchyard, and read thetombstone inscriptions: but when we asked the way, the samewoman, staring still more wonderingly, exclaimed, "Church!There's no church nigh here!--There's the Prince Of Wales'S, justpast the turning. You may go and see that, if you will. " So on we walked towards this hunting Villa: but after toiling upa long unweeded avenue, we had no sooner opened the gate to theparks than a few score of dogs, which were lying in ambush, SetUp so prodigious a variety of magnificent barkings, springingforward at the same time, that, content with having caught abrief view of the seat, we left them to lord it over the domainthey regarded as their own, and, with all due Submission, prettyhastily shut the gate, without troubling them to give us anothersalute. We returned to the inn, and read B---'s "Lives of theFamily of the Boyles. " Aug. 2. -We proceeded to Farnham to breakfast, and thence walkedto the castle. The Bishop of Winchester, Mrs. North. And thewhole family are gone abroad. The castle is a good old building, with as much of modern elegance and fashion intermixed in itsalterations and fitting up as Mrs. North could possibly contriveto weave into its ancient grandeur. . . . I wished I could haveclimbed to the top of an old tower, much out of repair, but sohigh, that I fancied I could thence have espied the hills ofNorrbury. However, I was ready to fall already, from onlyascending the slope to reach the castle. Page 413 A PARTY OF FRENCH FUGITIVES. We arrived early at Winchester; but the town was so full, as thejudges were expected next morning, that we could only get onebed-chamber, in which Mrs. Ord, her maid, and myself reposed. just after we had been obliged to content ourselves with thisscanty accommodation, we saw a very handsome coach and fourhorses, followed by a chaise and outriders, stop at the gate, andheard the mistress of the house declare she- could not receivethe company; and the postilions, at the same time, protested thehorses could go no farther. They inquired for fresh horses;there were none to be had in the whole city; and the party wereall forced to remain in their carriages, without horses, at theinn-gate, for the chance of what might pass on the road. Weasked who they were, and our pity was doubled in finding themforeigners. We strolled about the upper part of the city, leaving thecathedral for the next morning. We saw a large, uniform, handsome palace, which is called by the inhabitants "The king'shouse, " and which was begun by Charles II. We did not, therefore, expect the elegant architecture of his father's days. One part, they particularly told us, was designed for Nell Gwynn. It was never finished, and neglect has taken place of time inrendering it a most ruined structure, though, as it bears nomarks of antiquity, it has rather the appearance of owing itsdestruction to a fire than to the natural decay of age. It is sospacious, however, and stands so magnificently to overlook thecity, that I wish it to be completed for an hospital orinfirmary. I have written Mrs. Schwellenberg an account of itsappearance and state, which I am sure will be read by hermajesty. When we returned to the Inn, still the poor travellers were inthe same situation: they looked so desolate, and could soindifferently make themselves understood, that Mrs. Ord good-naturedly invited them to drink tea with us. They mostthankfully accepted the offer, and two ladies and two gentlemenascended the stairs with us to our dining-room. The chaise hadthe female servants. The elder lady was so truly French--so vive and so triste inturn--that she seemed formed from the written character of aFrenchwoman, such, at least, as we English write them. She wasvery forlorn in her air, and very sorrowful in her counte- Page 414 nance; yet all action and gesture, and of an animation whenspeaking nearly fiery in its vivacity: neither pretty nor young, but neither ugly nor old; and her smile, which was rare, had afinesse very engaging; while her whole demeanour announced aperson Of consequence, and all her discourse told that she waswell-informed, well-educated, and well-bred. The other lady, whom they called mademoiselle, as the firstmadame, was young, dark but clear and bright in her eyes andcomplexion, though without good features, or a manner of equalinterest with the lady she accompanied. She proved, however, sensible, and seemed happy in the general novelty around her. She spoke English pretty well, and was admired without mercy bythe rest of the party, as a perfect mistress of the language. The madame spoke it very ill indeed, but pleasantly. Of the two gentlemen, one they called only monsieur, and theother the madame addressed as her brother. The monsieur washandsome, rather tonnish, and of the high haughty ton, and seemedthe devoted attendant or protector of the madame, who sometimesspoke to him almost with asperity, from eagerness, and a tinge ofwretchedness and impatience, which coloured all she said; and, atother times, softened off her vehemence with a smile the mostexpressive, and which made its way to the mind immediately, bycoming with sense and meaning, and not merely from good humourand good spirits as the more frequent smiles of happier persons. The brother seemed lively and obliging, and entirely at thedevotion of his sister, who gave him her commands with anauthority that would not have brooked dispute. They told us they were just come from Southampton, which they hadvisited in their way from viewing the fleet at the Isle of Wightand Portsmouth, and they meant to go on now to Bath. We soon found they were aristocrats, which did better for themwith Mrs. Ord and me than it would have done with you republicansof Norbury and Mickleham; yet I wish you had all met the madame, and heard her Indignant unhappiness. They had been in Englandbut two months. They all evidently belonged to madame, whoappeared to me a fugitive just before the flight of the Frenchking, (346) or in consequence of his having been taken. Page 415 She entered upon her wretched situation very soon, lamenting thathe was, in fact, no king, and bewailing his want of courage forhis trials. The queen she never mentioned. She spoke once ortwice of son mari, but did not say who or what he was, nor where. "They say, " she cried, "In France they have now liberty! Who hasliberty, le peuple, or the mob? Not les honn`etes gens; forthose whose principles are known to be aristocratic must fly, orendure every danger and indignity. Ah! est-ce l`a la libert`e?" The monsieur said he had always been the friend of liberty, suchas it was in England; but in France it was general tyranny. "In England, " he cried, "he was a true democrat, though bienaristocrate in France. " "At least, " said the poor madame, "formerly, in all the sorrowsof life, we had nos terres to which we could retire, and thereforget them, and dance, and sing, and laugh, and fling them allaside, till forced back to Paris. But now our villas are noprotection: we may be safe, but the first offence conceived by lepeuple is certain destruction; and, without a moment's warning, we may be forced to fly our own roofs, and see them and all weare worth burnt before our eyes in horrible triumph. " This was all said in French. But the anguish of her Countenancefilled me with compassion, though it was scarcely possible torestrain a smile when, the moment after, she" said she Might bevery wrong, but she hoped I would forgive her if she owned shepreferred Paris incomparably to London and pitied me veryunreservedly for never having seen that first of cities. Her sole hope, she said, for the overthrow of that anarchy inwhich the Unguarded laxity of the king had plunged the firstCountry in the world, --vous me pardonnec, Mademoiselle, --was nowfrom the German princes, who, she flattered herself, Would riseIn their own defence. She told me, the next moment, of les spectacles I should find atSouthampton, and asked me what she might expect at Bath of publicamusement and buildings. I was travelling I said, for my health, and Should visit notheatres, ball-rooms, etc. , and could recommend none. She did not seem to comprehend me; yet, in the midst of Page 416 naming these places, she sighed as deeply from the bottom of herheart as if she had been forswearing the world for ever indespair. But it was necessary, , she said, when unhappy, to goabroad the more, pour se distraire. In parting, they desiredmuch to renew acquaintance with us when we returned to London. Mrs. Ord gave her direction to the monsieur, who in return, wrotetheirs--"The French ladies, NO. 30, Gerrard-street, Soho. " They stayed till our early hour Of retiring made Mrs. Ord sufferthem to go. I was uneasy to know what would become of them. Iinquired of a waiter: he unfeelingly laughed, and said, "O! theydo well enough; they've got a room. " I asked if he could yet letthem have beds to stay, or horses to proceed? "No, " answered he, sneeringly: "but it don't matter for, now they've got a room, they are as merry and capering as if they were going to dance. " just after this, Mrs. Stephenson, Mrs. Ord's maid, came runningin. "La! ma'am, " she cried, "I've been so frightened, you can'tthink: the French folks sent for me on purpose, to ask t'otherlady's name, they said, and they had asked William before, sothey knew it; but they said I must write it down, and where shelived; so I was forced to write, 'Miss Burney, Chelsea, ' and theyfell a smiling so at one another. " 'Twas impossible to help laughing; but we desired her, in return, to send for one of their maids and ask their names also. Shecame back, and said she could not understand the maids, and sothey had called one of the gentlemen, and he had written down"Madame la Comtesse de Menage, et Mlle. De Beaufort. " We found, afterwards, they had sat up till two in the morning, and then procured horses and journeyed towards Oxford. WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL. Aug. 3. -We walked to the cathedral, and saw it completely. Partof it remains from the original Saxon building, though neglected, except by travellers, as the rest of the church is ample for alluses, and alone kept in repair. The bones of eleven Saxon kingsare lodged in seven curious old chests, in which they weredeposited after being dug up and disturbed in the civil wars andensuing confusions. The small number of chests is owing to thesmall proportion remaining of some of the skeletons, whichoccasioned their being united with others. Page 417 The Saxon characters are in many inscriptions preserved, thoughin none entire. They were washing a plaster from the walls, todiscern some curious old painting, very miserable, but veryentertaining, of old legends, which some antiquaries are nowendeavouring to discover. William of Wykham, by whom the cathedral was built in its presentform, lies buried, with his effigy and whole monument in veryfine alabaster, and probably very like, as it was done, theyaver, before he died. Its companion, equally superb, is CardinalBeaufort, uncle of Harry VI. William Rufus, slain in theneighbouring forest, is buried in the old choir: his monument isof plain stone, without any inscription or ornament, and onlyshaped like a coffin. Hardyknute had a much more splendidmonument preserved for him; but Harry I. Had other business toattend, I presume, than to decorate the tomb of one brother whiledespoiling of his kingdom another. An extremely curious oldchapel and monument remain of Archbishop Langton, of valuablegothic workmanship. The altar, which is highly adorned withgold, was protected in Cromwell's time by the address and skillof the Winton inhabitants, who ran up a slight wall before it, and deceived the reformists, soi-disants. I could hardly quitthis poor dear old building, so much I was interested with itsSaxon chiefs, its little queer niches, quaint images, damp cells, mouldering walls, and mildewed pillars. One chest contains thebones entire of Egbert, our first king. Edred, also. Idistinguished. The screen was given to this church by King Charles, and is thework of Inigo Jones. It is very simple in point of ornament, very complete in taste and elegance; nevertheless, a screen ofGrecian architecture in a cathedral of gothic workmanship wasill, I think, imagined. STONEHENGE, WILTON, AND MILTON ABBEY. Aug. 5. -We went to Stonehenge. Here I was prodigiouslydisappointed, at first, by the huge masses of stone sounaccountably piled at the summit of Salisbury Plain. However, we alighted, and the longer I surveyed and considered them, themore augmented my wonder and diminished my disappointment. We then went on to Wilton, where I renewed my delight over theexquisite Vandykes, and with the statues, busts, and pictures, which again I sighingly quitted, with a longing wish Page 418 I might ever pass under that roof time enough to see them moredeliberately. We stopped in the Hans Holbein Porch, and upon theInigo Jones bridge, as long as we Could stand, after standing andstaring and straining our eyes till our guide was quite fatigued. 'Tis a noble collection; and how might it be enjoyed if, as anarch rustic Old labouring man told u, fine folks lived as theyought to do! Sunday, Aug. 7. -After an early dinner we set off for MiltonAbbey, the seat of Lord Milton, partly constructed from the oldabbey and partly new. There is a magnificent gothic hall inexcellent preservation, of evident Saxon workmanship, andextremely handsome, though not of the airy beauty of the chapel. The situation of this abbey is truly delicious: it is in a valeof extreme fertility and richness, surrounded by hills of themost exquisite form, and mostly covered with hanging woods, butso varied in their growth and groups, that the eye is perpetuallyfresh caught with objects of admiration. 'Tis truly a lovelyplace. LYME AND SIDMOUTH. Aug. 8. -We proceeded to Bridport, a remarkably clean town, withthe air so clear and pure, it seemed a new climate. Hence we setout, after dinner, for Lyme, and the road through which wetravelled is the most beautiful to which my wandering destinieshave yet sent me. It is diversified with all that can composeluxuriant scenery, and with just as much of the approach tosublime as is in the province of unterrific beauty. The hillsare the highest, I fancy, in the south of this county--theboldest and noblest; the vales of the finest verdure, wooded andwatered as if only to give ideas of finished landscapes; whilethe whole, from time to time, rises into still superior grandeur, by openings between the heights that terminate the View With theSplendour of the British channel. There was no going on in the carriage through such enchantingscenes; we got out upon the hills, and walked till we could walkno longer. The descent down to Lyme is uncommonly steep; andindeed is very striking, from the magnificence of the ocean thatwashes its borders. Chidiock and Charmouth, two villages betweenBridport and Lyme, are the very prettiest I have ever seen. During the whole of this post I was fairly taken away, not onlyfrom the world but from myself, and completely wrapped up andengrossed by the Page 419 pleasures, wonders, and charms of animated nature, thus seen infair perfection. Lyme. However, brought me to myself; for thepart by the sea, where we fixed our abode, was so dirty and fishythat I rejoiced when we left it. Aug. 9. - We travelled to Sidmouth. And here we have taken up ourabode for a week. It was all devoted to rest and sea-air. Sidmouth is built in a vale by the sea-coast, and the terrace forcompany is nearer to the ocean than any I have elsewhere seen, and therefore both more pleasant and more commodious. The littlebay is of a most peaceful kind, and the sea was as calm andgentle as the Thames. I longed to bathe, but I am in no statenow to take liberties with myself, and, having no advice at hand, I ran no risk. SIDMOUTH LOYALTY. Nothing has given me so much pleasure since I came to this placeas our landlady's account of her own and her town's loyalty. Sheis a baker, a poor widow woman, she told us, who lost her husbandby his fright in thinking he saw a ghost, just after her motherwas drowned. She carries on the business, with the help of herdaughter, a girl about fifteen. I inquired of her if she had seen the royal family when theyvisited Devonshire? "Yes, sure, ma'am!" she cried; there wasne'er a soul left in all this place for going Out to See 'em. Mydaughter and I rode a double horse, and we went to Sir GeorgeYoung's, and got into the park, for we knew the housekeeper, andshe gave my daughter a bit to taste of the king's dinner whenthey had all done, and she said she might talk on it when she wasa old woman. " I asked another good woman, who came in for some flour, if shehad been of the party? "No, " she said, "she was ill, but she hadhad holiday enough upon the king's recovery, for there was such aholiday then as the like was not in all England. " "Yes, sure, ma'am, " cried the poor baker-woman, "we all did ourbest then for there was ne'er a town in all England like Sidmouthfor rejoicing. Why, I baked a hundred and ten penny loaves forthe poor, and so did every baker in town, and there's three, andthe gentry subscribed for it. And the gentry roasted a bullockand cut it all up, and we all eat it, in the midst of therejoicing. And then we had such a fine page 420 sermon, it made us all cry; there was a more tears shed than everwas known, all for over-joy. And they had the king drawed, anddressed up all in gold and laurels, and they put un in a coachand eight horses, and carried un about; and all the grandgentlemen in the town, and all abouts, come in their owncarriages to join. And they had the finest band of music in allEngland singing 'God save the king, ' and every Soul joined in thechorus, and all not so much because he was a king, but becausethey said a was such a worthy gentleman, and that the like of himwas never known in this nation before: so we all subscribed forthe illuminations for that reason, some a shilling, some aguinea, and some a penny, --for no one begrudged it, as a was sucha worthy person. " This good Mrs. Dare has purchased images of all the royal family, in her great zeal, and I had them in my apartment--King, Queen, Prince of Wales, Dukes of York, Clarence, Kent, Sussex, Cumberland, and Cambridge; Princess Royal, and PrincessesAugusta, Eliza, Mary, Sophia, and Amelia, God bless them all! POWDERHAM CASTLE AND COLLUMPTON CHURCH. Aug. 16. -We quitted Sidmouth, and proceeded through the finestcountry possible to Exmouth, to see that celebrated spot ofbeauty. The next morning we crossed the Ex and visited PowderhamCastle. Its appearance, noble and antique without, loses allthat character from French finery and minute elegance and gaytrappings within. The present owner, Lord Courtney, has fittedit up in the true Gallic taste, and every room has the air ofbeing ornamented for a gala. The housekeeper did not let us seehalf the castle; she only took us to those rooms which thepresent lord has modernized and fitted up in the sumptuous Frenchtaste ; the old part of the castle she doubtless thought woulddisgrace him; forgetting or rather never knowing--that the oldpart alone was worth a traveller's curiosity, since the restmight be anticipated by a visit to any celebrated cabinet-maker. Thence we proceeded to Star Cross to dine; and saw on theopposite coast the house Of Sir Francis Drake, which was built byhis famous ancestor. Here we saw a sight that reminded me of thedrawings of Webber from the South Sea Isles; women scarce clothedat all, with feet and legs entirely naked, straw bonnets ofuncouth Shapes tied on their heads, a Page 421 sort of man's jacket on their bodies, and their short coatspinned up in the form of concise trousers, very succinct! and abasket on each arm, strolling along with wide mannish strides tothe borders of the river, gathering cockles. They looked, indeed, miserable and savage. Hence we went, through very beautiful roads, to Exeter. Thatgreat old city is too narrow, too populous, too dirty, and tooill-paved, to meet with my applause. Next morning we breakfastedat Collumpton, and visited its church. Here we saw the remainsof a once extremely rich gothic structure, though never large. There is all the appearance of its having been the church of anabbey before the Reformation. It is situated in a deep but mostfertile vale; its ornaments still retain so much of gilding, painting, and antique splendour, as could never have belonged toa mere country church. The wood carving, too, though in ruins, is most laboriously well done; the roof worked in blue and gold, lighter, but in the style of the royal chapel at St. James's. Wewere quite surprised to find such a structure in a town solittle known or named. One aisle was added by a clothier of thetown in the reign of Edward VI. ; probably upon itsfirst being used as a protestant and public place of worship. This is still perfect, but very clumsy and inelegant comparedwith the ancient part. The man, to show he gloried in thehonest profession whence he derived wealth for this good purpose, has his arms at one corner, with his name, J. Lane, in gothiccharacters, and on the opposite corner his image, terribly workedin the wall, with a pair of shears in one hand, so large as tocut across the figure downwards almost obscuring all but hisfeet. Till the cicerone explained this, I took the idea for adesign of Death, placed where most conspicuously he might showhimself, ready to cut in two the poor objects that entered thechurch. GLASTONBURY ABBEY. Aug. 19. -To vary the scenery we breakfasted at Bridgewater, in asmuch dirt and noise, from the judges filling the town, as atTaunton we had enjoyed neatness and quiet. We walked beside theriver, which is navigable from the Bristol channel ; and a streammore muddy, and a quay more dirty and tarry and pitchy, I wouldnot covet to visit again. It is here called the Perrot. Thence, however, we proceeded to what made amends Page 422 all--the ruins of Glastonbury Abbey. These are the most elegantremains of monkish grandeur I have ever chanced to see, --theforms, designs, ornaments, ---all that is left is in the highestperfection of gothic beauty. Five hundred souls, the people toldus, were supported in this abbey and its cloisters. A chapel of Joseph of Arimathea has the outworks nearly entire, and I was quite bewitched with their antique beauty. But theentrance into the main front of the abbey is stupendous; itsheight is such that the eye aches to look up at it, though it isnow curtailed, by no part of its arch remaining except the firstinclination towards that form, which shows it to have been theentrance. Not a bit of roof remains in any part. All themonuments that Were not utterly decayed or destroyed have beenremoved to Wells. Mere walls alone are left here, except themonks' kitchen. This is truly curious: it is a circularbuilding, with a dome as high--higher I fancy--than thePantheon's; four immense fireplaces divide it Into four parts atthe bottom, and an oven still is visible. One statue is left inone niche, which the people about said was of the abbot's chiefcook! If this monastery was built by the famous old cruel hypocriteabbot, Dunstan, I shall grieve so much taste was bestowed on sucha wretch. (347) We had only labourers for our informants. Butone boy was worth hearing: he told me there was a well ofprodigious depth, which he showed me, and this well had long beendried up, and so covered over as to be forgotten, till hisgrandfather dreamed a dream that the water of this well wouldrestore him from a bad state of health to good; so he dug, andthe well was found, and he drank the water and was cured! Andsince then the poor came from all parts who were afflicted withdiseases, and drank the water and were cured. One woman was nowat Glastonbury to try it, and already almost well! What strangeinventions and superstitions even the ruins of what had belongedto St. Dunstan can yet engender! The Glastonbury thorn we forgotto ask for. WELLS CATHEDRAL. Hence we proceeded to Wells. Here we waited, as usual, upon thecathedral, which received our compliments with but Page 423 small return of civility. There was little to be seen without, except old monuments of old abbots removed from Glastonbury, soinferior in workmanship and design to the abbey once containingthem, that I was rather displeased than gratified by the sight. They have also a famous clock, brought from theabbey at Its general demolition. This exhibits a set of horseswith riders, who curvet a dance round a bell by the pulling astring, with an agility comic enough, and fitted to serve for apuppet-show; which, in all probability, was its design, in orderto recreate the poor monks at their hours of play. There is also a figure of St. Dunstan, who regularly strikes thequarters of every hour by clock-work, and who holds in his hand apair of tongs--the same I suppose as those with which he was wontto pull the devil by the nose, in their nocturnal interviews. The old castle of Wells is now the palace for the bishop. It ismoated still, and looks dreary, Secluded, and in the bad oldstyle. At night, upon a deeply deliberate investigation in the medicalway, it was suddenly resolved that we should proceed to Bathinstead of Bristol, and that I should try there first the streamof King BladUd. So now, at this moment, here we are. BATH REVISITED. Queen Square, Bath, Aug. 20. --Bath is extremely altered since I last visited it. Its circumference is perhaps trebled but itsbuildings are so unfinished, so spread, so everywhere beginningand nowhere ending, that it looks rather like a space of groundlately fixed upon for erecting a town, than a town itself, of somany years' duration. It is beautiful and wonderful throughout. The hills are built up and down, and the vales so stocked withstreets and houses, that, in some places, from the ground-flooron one side a street, you cross over to the attic of youropposite neighbour. The white stone, where clean, has abeautiful effect, and, even where worn, a grand one. But I mustnot write a literal Bath guide, and a figurative one Anstey (348)has all to himself. I will only tell you in brief, yet in truth, it looks a city of palaces, a town of hills, and a hill of towns. Page 424 O how have I thought, in patrolling it, Of my poor Mrs, Thrale! I went to look (and sigh at the sight) at the house on the Northparade where we dwelt, and almost every Old place brings to mymind some scene in which we were engaged. Besides the constantsadness of all recollections that bring fresh to my thoughts abreach with a friend once so loved, how are most of the familiesaltered and dispersed in these absent ten Years! From Mrs. Montagu's, Miss Gregory by a marriage disapproved, is removed forever; from Mrs. Cholmley's, by the severer blow of death, LadyMulgrave is separated; Mrs. Lambart, by the same blow, has lostthe brother, Sir Philip Clerke, who brought us to heracquaintance; Mr. Bowdler and his excellent eldest daughter haveyielded to the same stroke; Mrs. Byron has followed. Miss Leighhas been married and widowed; Lord Mulgrave has had the same hardlot; and, besides these, Mrs. Cotton, Mrs. Thrale's aunt, LadyMiller, and Mr. Thrale himself, are no more. A VISIT FROM LADY SPENCER. Aug. 31. -I found I had no acquaintance here, except Mr. Harrington, who is ill, Mrs. Hartley, who is too lame forvisiting, and the Vanbrughs; and though Mrs. Ord, from herfrequent residence here, knows many of the settled inhabitants, she has kindly complied with my request of being dispensed frommaking new visits. Soon after we came, while I was finishing some letters, and quitealone, Mrs. Ord's servant brought me word Lady Spencer would askme how I did, if I was well enough to receive her. Of course Ibegged she might come up-stairs. I have met her two or threetimes at my dearest Mrs. Delany's, where I met, also, with markedcivilities from her. I knew she was here, with her unhappydaughter, --Lady Duncannon, (349) whom she assiduously nurses, aided by her more celebrated other daughter, the Duchess ofDevonshire. She made a very flattering apology for coming, and then began toconverse upon my beloved Mrs. Delany, and thence to subjects moregeneral. She is a sensible and sagacious character, intelligent, polite, and agreeable, and she spends her life in such exercisesof active charity and zeal, that she Page 425 would be one of the most exemplary women of rank of the age, hadshe less of show in her exertions, and more of forbearance inpublishing them. My dear oracle, however, once said, vainglorymust not be despised or discouraged, when it operated but as ahuman engine for great or good deeds. She spoke of Lady Duncannon's situation with much sorrow, andexpatiated upon her resignation to her fate, her prepared statefor death, and the excellence of her principles, with aneagerness and feeling that quite overwhelmed me with surprise andembarrassment. Her other daughter she did not mention; but hergrand-daughter, Lady Georgiana Cavendish, she spoke of withrapture. Miss Trimmer, also, the eldest daughter of theexceeding worthy Mrs. Trimmer, she named with a regard thatseemed quite affectionate. She told me she had the care of theyoung Lady Cavendishes, but was in every respect treated as ifone of themselves. BATH SUNDAY SCHOOLS. The name of Mrs. Trimmer led us to talk of the Sunday schools andSchools of Industry. They are both in a very flourishing stateat Bath, and Lady Spencer has taken one school under her ownimmediate patronage. The next day, of course, I waited on her -she was out. But the following day, which was Sunday, , she sentme a message up-stairs to say she would take me to see theSunday-school, if I felt well enough to desire it. She waitedbelow for my answer, which, of course, I carried down in myproper person, ready hatted and cloaked. It was a most interesting sight. Such a number of poor innocentchildren, all put into a way of right, most taken immediatelyfrom every way of wrong, lifting Up their little hands, andjoining in those prayers and supplications for mercy and grace, which, even if they understand not, must at least impress themwith a general idea of religion, a dread of evil, and a love ofgood ; it was, indeed, a sight to expand the best hopes of theheart. I felt very much obliged to my noble conductress, with whom I hadmuch talk upon the subject in our walk back. Her own littleschool, of course, engaged us the most. She told me that thenext day six of her little girls were to be new clothed, byherself, in honour of the birthday of the Duke of Devonshire'ssecond daughter, Lady Harriot Cavendish, who Page 426 was to come to her grandmamma's house to see theceremony. To this sight she also Invited me, and I accepted herkindness with pleasure. The following day, therefore, Monday, I obeyed Lady Spencer'stime, and at six o'clock was at her house in Gay-street. LadySpencer had Mrs. Mary Pointz and Miss Trimmer with her; and thesix children, just prepared for Lady Harriot, in their new gowns, were dismissed from their examination, upon my arrival, and sentdown-stairs to Wait the coming of her little ladyship, who, having dined with her mamma, was later than her appointment. Lady Georgiana is just eight Years old. She has a fine, animated, sweet, and handsome countenance, and the form andfigure of a girl of ten or twelve years of age. Lady Harriot, who this day was six Years old, is by no means so handsome, buthas an open and pleasing countenance, and a look of the mosthappy disposition. Lady Spencer brought her to me immediately. I inquired after the young Marquis of Hartington. Lady Spencertold me they never trusted him from the Upper walks, near hishouse, in Marlborough-buildings. He has a house of his own nearthe duke's, and a carriage entirely to himself; but YOU will seethe necessity of these appropriations, when I remind You he isnow fourteen months old. Lady Spencer had now a lottery--without blanks, you Will suppose--of playthings and toys for the children. She distributed theprizes, and Lady Duncannon held the tickets. During this enteredLord Spencer, the son of Lady Spencer, who was here only forthree days, to see his sister Duncannon. They had all dined withthe little Lady Harriot. The duke is now at Chatsworth, inDerbyshire. I thought of Lord Spencer's kindness to Charles, and Irecollected he was a favourite of Mr. Windham. I saw him, therefore, with very different ideas to those raised by the sightof his poor sister Duncannon, to whom he made up with every markof pitying affection; she, meanwhile, receiving him with the mostexpressive pleasure, though nearly silent. I could not helpfeeling touched, in defiance of all obstacles. Presently followed two ladies. Lady Spencer, with a look andmanner warmly announcing pleasure in what she was doing, thenintroduced me to the first of them, saying, "Duchess ofDevonshire, Miss Burney. " She made me a very civil compliment upon hoping my Page 427- health was recovering, and Lady Spencer then, shortly, and as ifunavoidably, said, "Lady Elizabeth Foster. " I have neglected to mention, in its place, that the six poorlittle girls had a repast in the garden, and Lady Georgianaearnestly begged leave to go down and see and speak with them. She applied to Lady Spencer. "O grandmamma, " she cried, "praylet me go! Mamma says it all depends upon you. " The duchessexpressed some fear lest there might be any illness or disorderamong the poor things: Lady Spencer answered for them; and LadyGeorgiana, with a sweet delight, flew down into the garden, allthe rest accompanying, and Lady Spencer and the duchess soonfollowing. It was a beautiful sight, taken in all itsdependencies, from the windows. Lord Spencer presently joinedthem, GEORGIANA, DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE To return to the duchess. I did not find so much beauty in heras I expected, notwithstanding the variations of accounts; but Ifound far more of manner, politeness, and gentle quiet. Sheseems by nature to possess the highest animal spirits, but sheappeared to me not happy. I thought she looked oppressed within, though there is a native cheerfulness about her which I fancyscarce ever deserts her. There is in her face, especially whenshe speaks, a sweetness of good-humour and obligingness, thatseem to be the natural and instinctive qualities of herdisposition; joined to an openness of countenance that announcesher endowed, by nature, with a character intended wholly forhonesty, fairness, and good purposes. She now conversed with me wholly, and in so soberly sensible andquiet a manner, as I had imagined incompatible with her powers. Too much and too little credit have variously been given her. About me and my health she was more civil than I can well tellyou; not from prudery--I have none, in these records, methinks!--but from its being mixed into all that passed. We talked overmy late tour, Bath waters, and the king's illness. This, whichwas led to by accident, was here a tender Subject, consideringher heading the Regency squadron; however, I have only one lineto pursue, and from that I can never vary. I spoke of my owndeep distress from his sufferings without reserve, and of thedistress of the queen with the most avowed compassion andrespect. She was extremely well-bred in all she said herself, and seemed willing Page 428 to keep up the subject. I fancy no one has just in the same waytreated it with her grace before; however, she took all in goodpart, though to have found me retired in discontent had perhapsbeen more congenial to her. But I have been sedulous to makethem all know the contrary. Nevertheless, as I am eager to beconsidered apart from all party, I was much pleased, after allthis, to have her express herself very desirous to keep up Ouracquaintance, ask many questions as to the chance of my remainingin Bath, most politely hope to profit from it, and, finally, inquire my direction. Lady Elizabeth (Foster] has the character of being so alluringthat Mrs. Holroyd told me it was the opinion Of Mr. Gibbon no mancould withstand her, and that, if she chose to beckon the lordchancellor from his woolsack, in full sight of the world, hecould not resist obedience!(350) BISHOP PERCY. Not long after our settling at Bath, I found, upon returning fromthe Pump-room, cards left for me of the Bishop of Dromore (Dr. Percy), Mrs. And the Miss Percys. I had met them formerly onceat Miss Reynolds's, and once Visited them when Dr. Percy was Deanof Carlisle. The collector and editor of the beautiful reliquesof ancient English poetry, I could not but be happy to again see. I returned the visit: they were out; but the bishop soon aftercame when I was at home. I had a pleasant little chat with him. The bishop is perfectly easy and unassuming, very communicative, and, though not very entertaining because too prolix, he isotherwise intelligent and of good commerce. Mrs. Percy is ill, and cannot make visits, though she sends her name and receivescompany at home. She is very uncultivated and ordinary inmanners and conversation, but a good creature and much delightedto talk over the royal family, to one of whom she was formerly anurse. THE DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE AGAIN. Three days before we left Bath, as I was coming with Mrs. Ordfrom the Pump-room, we encountered a chair from Page 429 which a lady repeatedly kissed her hand and bowed to me. I wastoo nearsighted to distinguish who she was, till, coming close, and a little stopped by more people, she put her face to theglass, and said "How d'ye do? How d'ye do?" and I recollectedthe Duchess of Devonshire. About an hour after I had again the honour of a visit from her, and with Lady dowager Spencer. I was luckily at home alone, MrsOrd having dedicated the rest of the morning to her own visits. I received them, therefore, with great pleasure. I now saw theduchess far more easy and lively in her spirits, and, consequently, far more lovely in her person. Vivacity is so muchher characteristic, that her style of beauty requires itindispensably; the beauty, indeed, dies away without it. I nowsaw how her fame for personal charms had been obtained; theexpression of her smiles is so very sweet, and has aningenuousness and openness so singular, that, taken in thosemoments, not the most rigid critic could deny the justice of herpersonal celebrity. She was quite gay, easy, and charming:indeed, that last epithet might have been coined for her. This has certainly been a singular acquaintance for me that thefirst visit I should make after leaving the queen should be tomeet the head of the opposition public, the Duchess ofDevonshire! DR. BURNEY'S CONVERSATION WITH MR. BURKE: REMARKS BY MissBURNEY. "I [Dr. Burney] dined with Sir Joshua last week, and met Mr. Burke, his brother, Mr. Malone, the venerable Bishop of St. Polde L`eonn, and a French abb`e or chevalier. I found Mr. Burke inthe room on my arrival, and after the first very cordialcivilities were over, he asked me, with great eagerness, whetherI thought he might go in his present dress to pay his respects toMiss Burney, and was taking up his hat, till I told him you wereout of town. He imagined, I Suppose, you were in St. Martin's-street, where he used to call upon you. In talking overyour health, the recovery of your liberty and of society, hesaid, if Johnson had been alive, your history would Page 430 have furnished him with an additional and interesting article tohis 'Vanity of Human Wishes. ' He said he had never been moremistaken in his life. He thought the queen had never behavedmore amiably, or shown more good sense, than in appropriating youto her service; but what a service had it turned out!--aconfinement to such a companion as Mrs. Schwellenberg!--Hereexclamations of severity and kindness in turn lasted aconsiderable time. " If ever I see Mr. Burke where he speaks to me upon the subject, Iwill openly confide to him how impossible it was that the queenshould conceive the subserviency expected, unjustly andunwarrantably, by Mrs. Schwellenberg: to whom I ought only tohave belonged officially, and at official hours, unless thedesire of further intercourse had been reciprocal. The queen hadimagined that a younger and more lively colleague would have madeher faithful old servant happier and that idea was merely amiablein her majesty, who could not Suspect the misery inflicted onthat poor new colleague, LITERARY RECREATION. Chelsea College, October-. -I have never been so pleasantlysituated at home since I lost the sister of my heart and my mostaffectionate Charlotte. My father is almost constantly Within. Indeed, I now live with him wholly ; he has himself appropriatedme a place, a seat, a desk, a table, and every convenience andcomfort, and he never seemed yet so earnest to keep me about him. We read together, write together, - chat, compare notes, communicate projects, and diversify each other's employments. Heis all goodness, gaiety, and affection; and his society andkindness are more precious to Me than ever. Fortunately, in this season of leisure and comfort, the spirit ofcomposition proves active. The day is never long enough, and ICould employ two pens almost incessantly, in my scribbling whatwill not be repressed. This is a delight to my dear fatherinexpressibly great and though I have gone no further than to lethim know, from time to time, the species of matter that occupiesme, he is perfectly contented, and patiently waits till somethingis quite finished, before he insists upon reading a word. This"suits my humour well, " as my own industry is all gone when onceits intent is produced. For the rest I have been going on with my third tragedy. Page 431 I have two written, but never yet have had opportunity to readthem; which, of course, prevents their being corrected to thebest of my power, and fitted for the perusal of less indulgenteyes; or rather of eyes less prejudiced. Believe me, my dear friends, in the present composed and happystate of my mind, I Could never have suggested these tales; but, having only to correct, combine, contract, and finish, I will notleave them undone. Not, however, to sadden myself to the samepoint in which I began them, I read more than I write, and callfor happier themes from others, to enliven my mind from thedolorous sketches I now draw of my Own. The library or study, in which we constantly sit, supplies suchdelightful variety of food, that I have nothing to wish. Thus, my beloved sisters and friends, you see me, at length, enjoyingall that peace, ease, and chosen recreation and employment, forwhich so long I sighed in vain, and which, till very lately, Ihad reason to believe, even since attained, had been allowed metoo late. I am more and more thankful every night, everymorning, for the change in my destiny, and present blessings ofmy lot ; and you, my beloved Susan and Fredy, for whose prayers Ihave so often applied in my sadness, suffering, and despondence, afford me now the same community of thanks and acknowledgments. SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDs's BLINDNESS. November. -Another evening my father took me to Sir JoshuaReynolds. I had long languished to see that kindly zealousfriend, but his ill health had intimidated me rom making theattempt; and now my dear father went up stairs alone, andinquired of Miss Palmer if her uncle was well enough to admit me. He returned for me immediately. I felt the utmost pleasure inagain mounting his staircase. Miss Palmer hastened forward and embraced me most cordially. Ithen shook hands with Sir Joshua. He had a bandage over one eye, and the other shaded with a green halfbonnet. He seemed seriouseven to sadness, though extremely kind. "I am very glad, " hesaid, in a meek voice and dejected accent, "to see you again, andI wish I could see you better! but I have only one eye now, --andhardly that. " I was really quite touched. The expectation of total blind- Page 432 ness depresses him inexpressibly; not, however, inconceivably Ihardly knew how to express either my concern for his alteredsituation since our meeting, or my joy in again being with him:but my difficulty was short; Miss Palmer eagerly drew me toherself, and recommended to Sir Joshua to go on with his cards. He had no spirit to oppose; probably, indeed, no inclination. One other time we called again, in a morning. Sir Joshua and hisniece were alone, and that invaluable man was even more dejectedthan before. How grievous to me It is to see him thuschanged!(352) AMONG OLD FRIENDS. December. -I most gladly accepted an invitation to my good Mrs. Ord, to meet a circle of old friends. The day proved extremelypleasant. We went to dinner, my father and I, and met Mrs. Montagu, in good spirits, and very unaffectedly agreeable. Noone was there to awaken ostentation, no new acquaintance torequire any surprise from her powers; she was therefore naturaland easy, as well as informing and entertaining. Mrs. Garrick embraced me again and again, to express asatisfaction in meeting me once more in this social way, that shewould have thought it indecorous to express by words. I thankedher exactly in the same language ; and, without a syllable beinguttered, she said, "I rejoice you are no longer a courtier!" andI answered, "I love you dearly for preferring me in my oldstate!" In the evening we were joined by Lady Rothes, (353) with whom Ihad my peace to make for a long-neglected letter upon my Page 433 "restoration to society, " as she termed it, and who was verylively and pleasant. . . . Mr. Pepys, who came just at that instant from Twickenham, whichhe advanced eagerly to tell me, talked of Mr. Cambridge, and hisadmirable wit and spirits, and Miss Cambridge, and her ferventfriendship for me, and the charm and agreeability of the wholehouse, with an ardour so rapid, there scarce needed any reply. Mr. Batt gave me a most kindly congratulatory bow upon hisentrance. I knew his opinion of my retreat, and understood it:but I was encircled till the concluding part of the evening bythe Pepys and Lady Rothes, etc. ; and then Mr. Batt seated himselfby my elbow, and began. "How I rejoice, " he cried, "to see youat length out of thraldom!" "Thraldom?" quoth I, "that's rather a strong word! I assure you'tis the first time I have heard it pronounced full and plumply. " "O, but, " cried he, laughing, "I may be allowed to say so, because you know my principles. You know me to be loyal; youcould not stand it from an opposition-man--but saints may domuch!" He is a professed personal friend of Mr. Pitt. I then began some exculpation of my late fatigues, assuring himthey were the effect of a situation not understood, and not ofany hardness of heart. "Very probably, " cried he; "but I am glad you have ended them: Iapplaud--I honour the step you have taken. Those who suffer, yetstill continue in fetters, I never pity;--there is a want ofintegrity, as well as spirit, in such submission. " "Those they serve, " cried I, "are not the persons to blame; theyare commonly uninformed there is anything to endure, and believeall is repaid by the smiles so universally solicited. " "I know it, " cried he; "and it is that general base subserviencethat makes me struck with your opposite conduct. " "My conduct, " quoth I, "was very simple; though I believe it didnot the less surprise; but it all consisted in not pretending, when I found myself sinking, to be swimming. " He said many other equally good-natured things, and finished themwith "But what a pleasure it is to me to see you here in thismanner, dressed no more than other people! I have not seen youthese five years past but looking dressed out for theDrawing-room, or something as bad!" Page 434 A SUMMONS FROM THE QUEEN. January. -I had a very civil note from Mrs. Schwellenberg tellingme that Miss Goldsworthy was ill, which made Miss Gomme necessaryto the princesses, and therefore, as Mlle. Jacobi was still lame, her majesty wished for my attendance On Wednesday noon. Ireceived this little summons with very sincere pleasure, and senta warm acknowledgment for its honour. I was engaged for theevening to Mr. Walpole, now Lord Orford, by my father, whopromised to call for me at the Queen's house. At noon I went thither, and saw, by the carriages, theirmajesties were just arrived from Windsor. In my way upstairs Iencountered the Princess Sophia. I really felt a pleasure at hersight, so great that I believe I saluted her ; I hardly know ;but she came forward, with her hands held out, so good humouredand so sweetly, I was not much on my guard. How do I wish I hadgone that moment to my royal mistress, while my mind was fullyand honestly occupied with the most warm satisfaction in beingcalled again into her presence! The Princess Sophia desired me to send her Miss Gomme, whom shesaid I should find in my own room. Thither I went, and weembraced very cordially; but she a little made me stare bysaying, "Do you sleep in your old bed?" "No, " I answered, "I gohome after dinner, " and she said no more, but told me she musthave two hours conference alone with me, from the multiplicity ofthings she had to discuss with me. We parted then, and I proceeded to Mrs. Schwellenberg. There Iwas most courteously received, and told I was to go at night tothe play. I replied I was extremely sorry, but I was engaged. She looked deeply displeased, and I was forced to offer to sendan excuse. Nothing, however, was settled; she went to the queen, whither I was most eager to follow, but I depended upon herarrangement, and could not go uncalled. I returned to my own room, as they still call it, and Miss Gommeand Miss Planta both came to me. We had a long discourse uponmatters and things. By and by Miss Gomme was called out toPrincesses Mary and Amelia; she told them who was in the oldapartment, and they instantly entered it. Princess Mary took myhand, and said repeatedly, "My dear Miss Burney, how glad I am tosee you again!" and the lovely little Princess Amelia kissed metwice, with the sweetest air of Page 435 affection. This was a very charming meeting to me, and Iexpressed my real delight in being thus allowed to come amongstthem again, in the strongest and truest terms. I had been but a short time alone, when Westerhaults came to askme if I had ordered my father's carriage to bring me from theplay. I told him I was engaged but would give up thatengagement, and endeavour to secure being fetched home after theplay. Mrs. Schwellenberg then desired to see me. "What you mean bygoing home?" cried she, somewhat deridingly: "know you not youmight sleep here?" I was really thunderstruck; so weak still, and so unequal as Ifeel to undertake night and morning attendance, which I now sawexpected. I was obliged, however, to comply; and I wrote a noteto Sarah, and another note to be given to my father, when hecalled to take me to Lord Orford. But I desired we might go inchairs, and not trouble him for the carriage. This arrangement, and my dread of an old attendance I was solittle fitted for renewing, had so much disturbed me before I wassummoned to the queen, that I appeared before her without any ofthe glee and spirits with which I had originally obeyed hercommands. I am still grieved at this circumstance, as it musthave made me seem cold and insensible to herself, when I wasmerely chagrined at the peremptory mismanagement of her agent. Mr. De Luc was with her. She was gracious, but by no meanslively or cordial. She was offended, probably, --and there was noreason to wonder, and yet no means to clear away the cause. Thisgave me much vexation, and the more I felt it the less I musthave appeared to merit her condescension. Nevertheless, after she was dressed she honoured me with asummons to the White closet, where I presently felt as much athome as if I had never quitted the royal residence. She inquiredinto my proceedings, and I began a little history of mysouth-west tour, - which she listened to till word was brought theking was come from the levee: dinner was then ordered, and I wasdismissed. At our dinner, the party, in the old style, was -Mr. De Luc, MissPlanta, Mrs. Stainforth, and Miss Gomme; Mrs. Schwellenberg wasnot well enough to leave her own apartment, except to attend thequeen. We were gay enough, I own my spirits were not very low infinding myself a guest at that table, where Page 436 I was so totally unfit to be at home, and whence, nevertheless, ;I should have been very much and deeply concerned to have foundmyself excluded, since the displeasure of the queen could alonehave procured such a banishment. Besides, to visit, I like thewhole establishment, however inadequate I found them forsupplying the place of all I quitted to live among them. O, whocould succeed there? During the dessert the Princess Elizabeth came into the Troom. I was very glad, by this means, to see all this lovelyfemale tribe. As soon as she was gone I made off to prepare forthe play, with fan, cloak-, and gloves. At the door of my newold room who should I encounter but Mr. Stanhope? He was allrapture, in his old way, at the meeting, and concluded me, Ibelieve, reinstated. I got off as fast as Possible, and had justshut myself in, and him out, when I heard the voice of the king, who passed my door to go to the dining-room. I was quite chagrined to have left it so unseasonably, as mywhole heart yearned to see him. He stayed but a minute, and Iheard him stop close to my door, and speak with Mr. De Luc. Theloudness of his voice assuring me he was saying nothing he meantto be unheard, I could not resist softly opening my door. Ifancy he expected this, for he came up to me immediately, andwith a look of goodness almost amounting to pleasure--I believe Imay say quite--he inquired after my health, and its restoration, and said he was very glad to see me again. Then turning gaily toMr. De Luc, "And you, Mr. De Luc, " he cried, "are not you, too, very glad to see Miss Beurni again?" I told him, very truly, the pleasure with which I had reenteredhis roof. --He made me stand near a lamp, to examine me, andpronounced upon my amended looks with great benevolence: and, when he was walking away, said aloud to Mr. De Luc, who attendedhim, "I dare say she was very willing to come!" Our party in the box for the queen's attendants consisted of LadyCatherine Stanhope, Miss Planta, Major Price, Greville Upton, andMr. Frank Upton. The king and queen and six princesses satopposite. It was to me a lovely and most charming sight. ThePrince of Wales, and the Duke of York and his bride, with theDuke of Clarence, sat immediately under us. I saw the duchessnow and then, and saw that she has a very sensible and markedcountenance, but no beauty. Page 437 She was extremely well received by the people, and smiled at inthe most pleasing manner by her opposite new relations. At night I once more attended the queen, and it seemed as strangeto me as if I had never done it before. The next day, Thursday, the queen gave up the Drawing-room, on account of a hurt on herfoot. I had the honour of another very long conference in theWhite closet, in which I finished the account of my late travels, and during which, though she was very gracious, she was far lesscommunicative than heretofore, saying little herself, and makingme talk almost all. When I attended the queen again to-night, the strangeness was so entirely worn away, that it seemed to meas if I had never left my office! And so again on Friday morning At noon the royal family set off for Windsor. The queen graciously sent for me before she went, to bid me good-bye, and condescended to thank me for my little services. Iwould have offered repetition with all my heart, but I felt myframe unequal to such business. Indeed I was half dead with onlytwo days' and nights' exertion. 'Tis amazing how I ever wentthrough all that is passed. MR. HASTINGS'S DEFENCE. Feb. 13. -I found a note from Mrs. Schwellenberg, with an offer ofa ticket for Mr. Hastings's trial, the next day, if I wished togo to it. I did wish it exceedingly, no public subject havingever so deeply interested me; but I could not recollect any partyI could join, and therefore I proposed to Captain Phillips tocall on his Court friend, and lay before her my difficulty. Hereadily declared he would do more, for he would frankly ask herfor a ticket for himself, and stay another day, merely toaccompany me. You know well the kind pleasure and zeal withwhich he is always ready to discover and propose expedients indistress. His visit prospered, and we went to Westminster Halltogether. All the managers attended at the opening, but the attendance ofall others was cruelly slack. To hear the attack, the peoplecame in crowds; to hear the defence, they scarcely came in t`ete-`a-t`etes! 'Tis barbarous there should be so much more pleasuregiven by the recital of guilt than by the vindication ofinnocence! Mr. Law(354) spoke the whole time; he made a general harangue Page 438 in answer to the opening general harangue of Mr. Burke, and hespoke many things that brought forward conviction in favour ofMr. Hastings; but he was terrified exceedingly, and this timidityInduced him to so frequently beg quarter from his antagonists, both for any blunders and any deficiencies, that I felt angrywith even modest egotism, when I considered that it was ratherhis place to come forward with the shield and armour of truth, undaunted, and to have defied, rather than deprecated, the forceof talents when without such support. None of the managers quitted their box, and I am uncertainwhether or not any of them saw me. Mr. Windham, in particular, Ifeel satisfied either saw me not, or was so circumstanced, asmanager, that he could not come to speak with me; for else, thismy first appearance from the parental roof under which he has solargely contributed to replace me would have been the last timefor his dropping my acquaintance. Mr. Sheridan I have no longerany ambition to be noticed by; and Mr. Burke, at this place, I amafraid I have already displeased, so unavoidably cold and frigiddid I feel myself when he came here to me formerly. Anywhereelse, I should bound forward to meet him, with respect, andaffection, and gratitude. In the evening I went to the queen's house. I found Mrs, Schwellenberg, who instantly admitted me, at cards with Mr. DeLuc. Her reception was perfectly kind; and when I would havegiven up the tickets, she told me they were the queen's, whodesired, if I wished it, I would keep them for the season. Thiswas a pleasant hearing upon every account, and I came away inhigh satisfaction. A few days after, I went again to the trial, and took anothercaptain for my esquire--my good and ever-affectionate James. TheHall was still more empty, both of Lords and Commons, and ofladies too, than the first day of this session. I am quiteshocked at the little desire there appears to hear Mr. Hastings'sdefence. DIVERSE VIEWS. When the managers entered, James presently said, "Here's Mr. Windham coming to speak to you. " And he broke from theprocession, as it was descending to its cell, to give me thatpleasure. His inquiries about my health were not, as he said, merely commoninquiries, but, without any other answer to them than a bow, Iinterrupted their course by quickly saying, "You Page 439 have been excursioning and travelling all the world o'er since Isaw you last. " He paid me in my own coin with only a bow, hastily going back tomyself: "But your tour, " he cried, "to the west, after all that-" I saw what was following, and, again abruptly stopping him, "Buthere you are returned, " I cried, "to all your old labours andtoils again. " "No, no, " cried he, half laughing, "not labours and toils always;they are growing into pleasures now. " "That's being very good, very liberal, indeed, " quoth I, supposing him to mean hearing the defence made the pleasure buthe stared at me with so little concurrence, that, soonunderstanding he only meant bringing their charges home to theconfusion of the culprit, I stared again a little while, and thensaid, "You sometimes accuse me of being ambiguous; I think youseem so yourself, now!" "To nobody but you, " cried he, with a rather reproachful accent. "O, now, " cried I, "you are not ambiguous, and I am all the lesspleased. " "People, " cried James, bonnement, "don't like to be convinced. " "Mr. Hastings, " said Mr. Windham, "does not convince, he does not bring conviction home. " "Not to you, " quoth I, returning his accent pretty fully, "Why, true, " answered he very candidly; "there may be somethingin that. " "How is it all to be?" cried James. "Is the defence to go onlong, and are they to have any evidence; or how?" "We don't know this part of the business, " said Mr. Windham, smiling a little at such an upright downright question "it is Mr. Hastings's affair now to settle it: however, I understand hemeans to answer charge after charge as they were brought againsthim, first by speeches, then by evidence: however, this is allconjecture. " MR. LAW'S SPEECH DISCUSSED. We then spoke of Mr. Law, Mr. Hastings's first counsel, and Iexpressed some dissatisfaction that such attackers should nothave had abler and more equal opponents. Page 440 "But do you not think Mr. Law spoke well?" cried he, "clear, forcible? " "Not forcible, " cried I. I would not say not clear. "He was frightened, " said Mr. Windham, "he might not do himselfjustice. I have heard him elsewhere, and been very wellsatisfied with him; but he looked pale and alarmed, and his voicetrembled. " "I was very well content with his materials, " quoth I, "which Ithought much better than the use he made of them; and once ortwice, he made an opening that, with a very little skill, mightmost adroitly and admirably have raised a laugh against you all. " He looked a little askew, I must own, but he could not helpsmiling. . . I gave him an instance in point, which -was thereverse given by Mr. Law to the picture drawn by Mr. Burke ofTamerlane, in which he said those virtues and noble qualitiesbestowed upon him by the honourable manager were nowhere to befound but on the British stage. Now this, seriously, with a very little ingenuity, might haveplaced Mr. Burke at the head of a company of comedians. Thislast notion I did not speak, however; but enough was understood, and Mr. Windham looked straight away from me, without answering;nevertheless, his profile, which he left me, showed much moredisposition to laugh than to be incensed. Therefore I proceeded ; pointing out another lost opportunitythat, well saved, might have proved happily ridiculous againstthem; and this was Mr. Law's description of the real state ofIndia, even from its first discovery by Alexander, opposed to Mr. Burke's flourishing representation, of its golden age, its lambsand tigers associating, etc. Still he looked askew ; but I believe he is truth itself, for heoffered no defence, though, of course, he would not enter intothe attack. And surely at this critical period I must not sparepointing out all he will submit to hear, on the side of a man ofwhose innocence I am so fully persuaded. "I must own, however, " continued I, finding him still attentive, though silent, "Mr. Law provoked me in one point--his apologiesfor his own demerits. Why should he contribute his humble miteto your triumphs? and how little was it his place to extol yoursuperior talents, as if you were not self-sufficient enoughalready, without his aid. " 'Unless you had heard the speech of Mr. Law, you can hardly Page 441 imagine with what timid flattery he mixed every exertion heventured to make in behalf of his client ; and I could notforbear this little observation, because I had taken notice withwhat haughty derision the managers had perceived the fears oftheir importance, which were felt even by the very counsel oftheir prisoner. Mr. Windham, too, who himself never looks eitherinsolent or deriding, must be sure what I meant for hisassociates could not include himself. He did not, however, perfectly welcome the remark; he still only gave me his profile, and said not a word, -so I went on. Mr. Hastings little thinkswhat a pleader I am become in his cause, against one of his mostpowerful adversaries. "There was still another thing, " quoth I, "in which I felt vexedwith Mr. Law: how could he be so weak as to beg quarter from you, and to humbly hope that, if any mistake, any blunder, anyimprovident word escaped him, you would have the indulgence tospare your ridicule? O yes, to be sure! when I took notice at themoment of his supplication, and before any error committed, thatevery muscle of every face, amongst you was at work from the baresuggestion. " He could not even pretend to look grave now, but, turning franklytowards me, said, "Why, Mr. Fox most justly observed upon thatpetition, that, if any man makes a blunder, a mistake, 'tis verywell to apologize: but it was singular to hear a man gravelypreparing for his blunders and mistakes, and wanting to maketerms for them beforehand. " "I like him for this, " cried James again bonnement, "that heseems so much interested for his client. " "Will you give me leave to inquire, " quoth I, "one thing? Youknow my old knack of asking strange questions. " He only bowed--archly enough, I assure you. " Did I fancy, or was it fact, that you were a flapper to Mr. Burke, when Mr. Law charged him with disingenuity, in not havingrecanted the accusation concerning Devy Sing? He appeared to mein much perturbation, and I thought by his see-saw he was goingto interrupt the speech: did you prevent him?" "No, no, " he answered, "I did not: I did not think him in anydanger. " He rubbed his cheek, though, as he spoke, as if he did not muchlike that circumstance. O that Mr. Burke--so great, so noble acreature--can in this point thus have been warped. Page 442 MR. WINDHAM ON THE FRENCH NATIONAL ASSEMBLY. I ran off to another scene, and inquired how he had been amusedabroad, and, in particular, at the National Assembly? "Indeed, " he answered, "it was extremely curious for a shorttime; but there is little variety in it, and therefore it willnot do long. " I was in a humour to be just as sincere here, as about the trial;so you democrats must expect no better. "I understand, " quoth I, "there is a great dearth of abilities inthis new Assembly; how then should there be any variety?" "No, I cannot say that: they do not want abilities; but they haveno opportunity to make their way. " "O!" quoth I, shaking my wise head, "abilities, real abilities, make their own way. " "Why, that's true; but, in that Assembly, the noise, the tumult--" "Abilities, " again quoth I, " "have power to quell noise andtumult. " "Certainly, in general; but not in France. These new legislativemembers are so solicitous to speak, so anxious to be heard, thatthey prefer uttering any tautology to listening to others; andwhen once they have begun, they go on with what speed they may, and without selection, rather than stop. They see so many readyto seize their first pause, they know they have so little chanceof a second hearing, that I never entered the Assembly withoutbeing reminded of the famous old story of the man who patientlybore hearing a tedious harangue, by saying the whole time tohimself, 'Well, well, 'tis his turn now; but let him beware howhe sneezes. "' "A BARBAROUS BUSINESS!" James now again asked some question of their intentions withregard to the progress of the trial. He answered, "We havenothing to do with its present state. We leave Mr. Hastings nowto himself, and his own set. Let him keep to his cause, and hemay say what he will. We do not mean to interfere, nor availourselves of our privileges. " Mr. Hastings was just entered; I looked down at him, and saw hishalf-motion to kneel; I could not bear it, and, turning suddenlyto my neighbour, "O, Mr. Windham, " I cried, "after Page 443 all, 'tis, indeed, a barbarous business!" This was ratherfurther than I meant to go, for I said it with seriousearnestness; but it was surprised from me by the emotion alwaysexcited at sight of that unmerited humiliation. He looked full at me upon this solemn attack, and with a look ofchagrin amounting to displeasure, saying, "It is a barbarousbusiness we have had to go through. " I did not attempt to answer this, for, except through the mediumof sport and raillery, I have certainly no claim upon hispatience. But, in another moment, in a tone very flattering, hesaid, "I do not understand, nor can any way imagine, how you canhave been thus perverted!" "No, no!" quoth I, "it is you who are perverted!" Here Mr. Law began his second oration, and Mr. Windham ran downto his cell. I fancy this was not exactly the conversation heexpected upon my first enlargement. However, though it wouldvery seriously grieve me to hurt or offend him, I cannot refusemy own veracity, nor Mr. Hastings's injuries, the utterance ofwhat I think truth. Mr. Law was far more animated and less frightened, and acquittedhimself so as to merit almost as much `eloge as, in my opinion, he had merited censure at the opening. It was all in answer toMr. Burke's general exordium and attack. DEATH OF SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS. Upon the day of Sir Joshua Reynolds's death(355) I was in my bed, with two blisters, and I did not hear of it till two days after. I shall enter nothing upon this Subject here; our current lettersmentioned the particulars, and I am not desirous to retrace them. His loss is as universally felt as his merit is universallyacknowledged, and, joined to all public motives, I had myselfprivate ones of regret that cannot subside. He was alwayspeculiarly kind to me, and he had worked at my deliverance from alife he conceived too laborious for me as if I had been his owndaughter; yet, from the time of my coming forth, I only twice sawhim. I had not recovered strength for visiting before he waspast receiving me. I grieve inexpressibly never to have beenable to make him the small tribute of thanks for his most kindexertions in my cause. I little thought the second time I sawhim would be my last opportunity, and my intention was to waitsome favourable opening. Page 444 Miss Palmer is left heiress, (356) and her unabating attendanceupon her inestimable uncle in his sickroom makes everybodycontent with her great acquisition. I am sure she loved andadmired him with all the warmth of her warm heart. I wrote her afew lines of condolence, and she has sent me a very kind answer. She went immediately to the Burkes, with whom she will chiefly, Ifancy, associate. March. -Sad for the loss of Sir Joshua, and all of us illourselves, we began this month. Upon its 3rd day was hisfuneral. (357) My dear father could not attend; but Charles wasinvited and went. All the Royal Academy, professors andstudents, and all the Literary club, attended as family, mourners. Mr. Burke, Mr. Malone, and Mr. Metcalf, are executors. Miss Palmer has spared nothing, either in thought or expense, that could render the last honours splendid and grateful. It wasa very melancholy day to us; though it had the alleviation andsoftening of a letter from our dear Charlotte, promising toarrive the next day. MR. WINDHAM TWITTED ON His LACK OF COMPASSION. April 23. --I thought myself equal to again going to thetrial, which recommenced, after six or seven weeks' cessation, onaccount of the judges going the circuit. Sarah went with me: Iam now so known in the chamberlain's box that the door-keepersand attendants make way for me without looking at my ticket. Andto be sure, the managers on one side, and Mr. Hastings's friendsand counsel on the other, must pretty well have my face by heart. I have the faces of all them, most certainly, in fullmental possession; and the figures of many whose names I know notare so familiar to my eyes, that should I chance hereafter tomeet them, I shall be apt to take them for old acquaintances. There was again a full appearance of managers to accompany Page 445 Mr. Burke in his entry; and again Mr. Windham quitted theprocession, as it descended to the box, and filed off to speakwith me. He made the most earnest inquiries after the health of my dearestfather, as well as after my own. He has all the semblance ofreal regard and friendship for us, and I am given to believe hewears no semblance that has not a real and sympathetic substancecouched beneath. His manner instantly revived in my mind myintent not to risk, with him, the loss of making those pooracknowledgments for his kindness, that I so much regret omittingto Sir Joshua Reynolds. In return to his inquiries about myrenovating health, I answered that I had again been very illsince I saw him last, and added, "Indeed, I believe I did notcome away too soon. " " And now, " cried I, "I cannot resist giving myself the pleasureof making my acknowledgments for what I owe to you upon thissubject. I have been, indeed, very much obliged, by variousthings that have come round to me, both to you and Sir Joshua. --Owhat a loss is that!" "What a wretched loss!" cried he: and we then united our warmestsuffrages in his favour, with our deepest regret for ourdeprivation. Here I observed poor Mr. Hastings was brought in. I saw he was fixing him. "And can you, " I cried, fixing him, "can you have so muchcompassion for one captive, and still have none for another?" "Have you, then, still, " cried he, "the same sentiments?" "Have you, " cried I, "heard all thus far of the defence, and areyou still unmoved?" "Unmoved?" cried he, emphatically; "shall I be moved by a lion? You see him there in a cage, and pity him; look back to when youmight have seen him with a lamb in his claws!" I could only look dismayed for a moment. "But, at least, " Isaid, "I hope what I hear is not true, though I now grow afraidto ask?" "If it is anything about me, " he answered, "it is certainly nottrue. " "I am extremely glad, indeed, " cried I, "for it has been buzzedabout in the world that you were to draw up the final charge. This I thought most cruel of all; You, who have held back allthis time--" "Yes! pretty completely, " interrupted he, laughing. Page 446 "No, not completely, " I continued; "but Yet YOU have made nodirect formal speech, nor have come forward in any positive andformidable manner; therefore, as we have now heard all theothers, and--almost enough--" I was obliged to stop a moment, to see how this adventurousplainness was taken; and he really, though my manner showed meonly rallying, looked I don't know how, at such unexampleddisrespect towards his brother orators. But I soon went quietlyon: "To come forth now, after all that has passed, with the eclatof novelty, and, -for the most cruel part of all, --that whichcannot be answered. " "You think, " cried he, "'tis bringing a fresh courser into thefield of battle, just as every other is completely jaded?" "I think, " cried I, "that I am very generous to wish against whatI should so much wish for, but for other considerations. " "O, what a flattering way, " cried he, "of stating it! however, Ican bear to allow you a little waste of compliments, which youknow so well how to make; but I cannot bear to have you wasteyour compassion. " A POINT OF CEREMONIAL. May. -The 1st of this month I went again to Westminster Hall, withour cousin Elizabeth. Evidence was brought forward by thecounsel for Mr. Hastings, and Lord Stormont was called upon as awitness. This produced some curious debating among the Lords, and with the chancellor. They spoke only for the ears of oneanother, as it was merely to settle some ceremonial, whether hewas to be summoned to the common place where the witnesses stood, or had the claim of a peer to speak in his place, robed. Thislatter prevailed: and then we expected his speech; but no, a newdebate ensued, which, as we gathered from the rumour about us, was that his lordship should have the prayer book, for his oath, belonging to the House of Peers. Here, also, his dignity wastriumphant, though it cost the whole assembly a full quarter ofan hour; while another prayer book was officially at hand, in thegeneral post for plebeian witnesses. Well! aristocrat as I am, compared with you, I laughed heartilyat all this mummery, and yet it was possibly wise, at this periodof pulling down all law and order, all privilege andsubordination, however frivolous was its appearance. Page 447 His testimony was highly favourable to Mr. Hastings, withregard to authenticating the intelligence he had received of anopening war with France, upon which hung much justification of the measures Mr. Hastings had pursued for raising supplies. MRS. SCHWELLENBERG AND MLLE. JACOBI. Thence I went to the Queen's house, where -I have a most cordialgeneral invitation from Mrs. Schwellenberg to go by allopportunities; and there is none so good as after the trial, thatlate hour exactly according With her dinner-time. She is just as she Was with respect to health; but in all otherrespects, how amended! all civility, all obligingness, allcourtesy! and so desirous to have me visit her, that she pressesme to come incessantly. During coffee, the princess royal came into the room. Shecondescended to profess herself quite glad to see me; and she hadnot left the room five minutes before, again returning, she said, "Mrs. Schwellenberg, I am come to plague you, for I am come totake away Miss Burney. " I give you leave to guess whether thisplagued me. May 2. -The following week I again went to Westminster Hall. Mlle. Jacobi had made a point of accompanying me, that she mightsee the show, as James called it to General Burgoyne, and I hadgreat pleasure in taking her, for she is a most ingenuous andgood creature, though--alas!--by no means the same undaunted, gay, open character as she appeared at first. Sickness, confinement, absence from her friends, submission to hercoadjutrix, and laborious watching have much altered her. The trial of this day was all written evidence in favour of Mr. Hastings, and violent quarrelling as to its admissibility on thepart of Mr. Burke. Mr. Windham took his place, during some partof the controversy, and spoke ably and clearly as to the givenpoint in dispute, but with the most palpable tremor and internalstruggle. A LONG TALK WITH THE KING AND QUEEN. I attended Mlle. Jacobi to the Queen's house, where I dined ; andgreat indeed was my pleasure, during coffee, to see the PrincessElizabeth, who, In the most Pleasing manner Page 448 and the highest spirits, came to summon me to the queen. I foundher majesty again with all her sweet daughters but the youngest. She was gracious and disposed to converse. We had a great deal of talk upon public concerns, and she told mea friend Of mine had spoken very well the day before, and so hadMr. Burke. She meant Mr. Windham. It was against the newassociates, and in favour of the proclamation. (358) Mr. Burke, of course, would here come forth in defence of his ownpredictions and opinions; but Mr. Windham, who had rather abidedhitherto with Charles Fox, in thinking Mr. Burke too extreme, well as he loves him personally, was a new convert highlyacceptable. He does not, however, go all lengths with Mr. Burke;he is only averse to an unconstitutional mode of reform, and tosanctioning club powers, so as to enable them, as in France, tooverawe the state and senate. (359) Soon after, to my infinite joy, the king entered. O, he spoke tome so kindly!--he congratulated me on the better looks which hisown presence and goodness gave me, repeatedly declaring he hadnever seen me in such health. He asked me after my father, andlistened with interest when I mentioned his depression, and toldhim that all he had done of late to soothe his retirement andpain had been making canons to solemn words, and with suchdifficulties of composition as, in better health and spirits, would have rather proved oppressive and perplexing than a reliefto his feelings. "I, too, " said the king, after a very serious pause, "have myselfsometimes found, when ill or disturbed, that some grave and evendifficult employment for my thoughts has tended more to composeme than any of the supposed usual relaxations. " He also condescended to ask after little Norbury, taking off theeager little fellow while he spoke, and his earnest manner ofdelivery. He then Inquired about my friends Mr. And Mrs. Locke, and their expectations of the return of Page 449 William. He inquired how I live, whom I saw, what sort ofneighbours I had in the college, and many other particulars, thatseemed to desire to know how I went on, and whether I wascomfortable. His looks, I am sure, said so, and most sweetly andkindly. They kept me till they went to the Japan room, where they meetthe officers and ladies who attend them in public. They weregoing to the Ancient Music. This dear king, nobly unsuspicious where left to himself, andwhere he has met no doubleness, spoke also very freely of somepolitical matters before me--of the new association inparticular. It gratified me highly. MADAME DE GENLIS: A WOEFUL CHANGE. I got home to dinner to meet Mrs. And Miss Mary Young, (360) whoare in town for a few weeks. Miss Mary is sensible, and quick, and agreeable. They give a very unpleasant account of Madame de Genlis, or deSillery, or Brulard, as she is now called. (361) They say she hasestablished herself at Bury, in their neighbourhood, with Mlle. La Princesse d'Orleans and Pamela, and a Circe, and another Page 450 young girl under her care. They have taken a house, the masterof which always dines with them, though Mrs. Young says he issuch a low man he should not dine with her daughter. They formtwenty with themselves and household. They keep a botanist, achemist, and a natural historian always with them. These aresupposed to have been common servants of the Duke of Orleans informer days, as they always walk behind the ladies when abroad;but, to make amends in the new equalising style, they all dinetogether at home. They visit at no house but Sir Thomas Gage's, where they carry their harps, and frequently have music. Theyhave been to Bury ball, and danced all night Mlle. D'Orl`eanswith anybody, known or unknown to Madame Brulard. What a woeful change from that elegant, amiable, high-bred Madamede Genlis I knew six years ago! the apparent pattern of femaleperfection in manners, conversation, and delicacy. There are innumerable democrats assembled in Suffolk; among themthe famous Tom Paine, who herds with all the farmers that willreceive him, and there propagates his pernicious doctrines. THE WEEPING BEAUTY AGAIN. May 25. -This morning I went to a very fine public breakfast, given by Mrs. Montagu. . . . The crowd of company was such thatwe could only slowly make way, in any part. There could not befewer than four or five hundred people. It was like a fullRanelagh by daylight. We now met Mrs. Porteus, and who should be with her but the poorpretty S. S. , whom so long I had not seen, and who has now latelybeen finally given up by her long-sought and very injuriouslover, Dr. Vyse? She is sadly faded, and looked disturbed andunhappy; but still beautiful, though no longer blooming; andstill affectionate, though absent and evidently absorbed. We hada little chat together about the Thrales. In mentioning ourformer intimacy with them, "Ah, those, " she cried, "were happytimes!" and her eyes glistened. Poor thing! hers has been alamentable story!---Imprudence and vanity have rarely been mixedwith so much sweetness, and good-humour, and candour, andfollowed with more reproach and ill success. We agreed to renewacquaintance next winter; at present she will be little more intown. Page 451 MADAME DE LA FITE AND MRS. HASTINGS. We went then round the rooms, which were well worth examinationand admiration ; and we met friends and acquaintance every otherstep. . . . While we were examining the noble pillars in the newroom, I heard an exclamation of "Est-ce possible? suis-je siheureuse?--Est-ce ma ch`ere Mlle. Beurni que je vois?"(362) Need I say this was Madame de la, Fite ? or Mrs. Fitt, as, sincethe French Revolution, of which she is a favourer, she is calledby some of the household to which I belonged. I spoke so as to moderate this rapture into something lesscalling for attention, which her voice and manner were engaging, not unwillingly. I had not seen her since my retreat, and, ifshe had been less pompous, I should have been glad of themeeting. She kept my hand close grasped between both her own, (though her fan nipped one of my fingers till I was ready to makefaces, ) with a most resolute empressement, to the greatinconvenience of those who wanted to pass, for we were at one ofthe entrances into the great new room; and how long she mighthave continued this fond detention I know not, if a lady, whoseappearance vied for show and parade with Madame de la Fite'smanner and words, had not called out aloud, "I am extremely happyindeed to see Miss Burney!" This was Mrs. Hastings; and to answer her I was let loose. I have always been very sorry that Mrs. Hastings, who is apleasing, lively, and well-bred woman, with attractive mannersand attentions to those she wishes to oblige, should have anindiscretion so peculiarly unsuited to her situation, as to aimalways at being the most conspicuous figure wherever she appears. Her dress now was like that of an Indian princess, according toour ideas of such ladies, and so much the most splendid, from itsornaments, and style, and fashion, though chiefly of muslin, thateverybody else looked under-dressed in her presence. It is forMr. Hastings I am sorry when I see this inconsiderate vanity, ina woman who would so much better manifest her sensibility of hispresent hard disgrace, by a modest and quiet appearance anddemeanour. Page 452 THE IMPETUOUS ORATOR. Wednesday, May 30. -To-day I went to Westminster Hall again, tohear the evidence of Mr. Markham, which is so pleasantly infavour of Mr. Hastings, that all the friends of that persecutedman are gratified by all he deposes. Miss Ord accompanied me. When the impetuous and ungovernable Mr. Burke was Interruptingthe chancellor, in order to browbeat Mr. Hastings's evidence, Mr. Windham involuntarily exclaimed, "Hist!" just as if he had beenat his elbow, and playing the kind part of a flapper. I couldnot help laughing, and half joining him: he echoed back my laugh, and with a good humour that took in all its meaning andacknowledged its sympathy with regard to Mr. Burke, nevertheless, he spoke not a word. Afterwards, however, he spoke when I hadfar rather he had been silent, for he went to the assistance ofMr. Burke. Michael Angelo Taylor spoke also; but I observed with pleasure adistinction the chancellor made to Mr. Windham; for, when heanswered their arguments, he singled him out as the person whohad said what alone he meant upon that question to notice, bysaying, "The honourable manager who spoke second. " But I am sure--I think so, at least--Mr. Windham as littleapproves the violence of Mr. Burke in this trial as I do myself. I see him evidently and frequently suffer great pain andmortification when he is so obstreperous. BOSWELL'S MIMICRY OF DR. JOHNSON. June 1. -This day had been long engaged for breakfasting with Mrs. Dickenson and dining with Mrs. Ord. The breakfast guests wereMr. Langton, Mr. Foote, Mr. Dickenson, jun. , a cousin, and a veryagreeable and pleasing man; Lady Herries, Miss Dickenson, anothercousin, and Mr. Boswell. This last was the object of the morning. I felt a strongsensation of that displeasure which his loquacious communicationsof every weakness and infirmity of the first and greatest goodman of these times has awakened in me, at his first sight; and, though his address to me was courteous in the extreme, and hemade a point of sitting next me, I felt an indignant dispositionto a nearly forbidding reserve and silence. How Page 453 many starts of passion and prejudice has he blackened intorecord, that else might have sunk, for ever forgotten, under thepreponderance of weightier virtues and excellences! Angry, however, as I have long been with him, he soon insensiblyconquered, though he did not soften me: there is so little ofill-design or ill-nature in him, he is so open and forgiving forall that is said in return, that he soon forced me to considerhim in a less serious light, and change my resentment against histreachery into something like commiseration of his levity ; andbefore we parted we became good friends. There is no resistinggreat good humour, be what will in the opposite scale. He entertained us all as if hired for that purpose, tellingstories of Dr. Johnson, and acting them with incessantbuffoonery. I told him frankly that, if he turned him intoridicule by caricature, I should fly the premises: he assured mehe would not, and indeed his imitations, though comic to excess, were so far from caricature that he omitted a thousandgesticulations which I distinctly remember. Mr. Langton told some stories himself in imitation of Dr. Johnson; but they became him less than Mr. Boswell, and onlyreminded me of what Dr. Johnson himself once said to me--"Everyman has, some time in his life, an ambition to be a wag. " If Mr. Langton had repeated anything from his truly great friendquietly, it would far better have accorded with his own seriousand respectable character. THE KING'S BIRTHDAY. June 4. -The birthday of our truly good king. As his majesty had himself given me, when I saw him after thequeen's birthday, an implied reproach for not presenting myselfat the palace that day, I determined not to incur a similarcensure on this, especially as I hold my admission on such anational festival as a real happiness, as well as honour, when itis to see themselves. How different was my attire from every other such occasion thefive preceding years! It was a mere simple dressed undress, without feathers, flowers, hoop, or furbelows. When I alighted at the porter's lodge I was stopped from crossingthe court-yard by seeing the king with his three sons, the Princeof Wales, Duke of York, and Duke of Clarence, who were standingthere after alighting from their horses, to Page 454 gratify the people who encircled the iron rails. It was apleasant and goodly sight, and I rejoiced in such a detention. I had a terrible difficulty to find a friend who would make knownto her majesty that I was come to pay my devoirs. At length, while watching in the passages to and fro, I heard a step uponthe princesses' stairs, and, venturing forward, I encountered thePrincess Elizabeth. I paid my respectful congratulations on theday, which she most pleasantly received, and I intimated my greatdesire to see her majesty. I am Sure the amiable princesscommunicated my petition, for Mr, de Luc came out in a fewminutes and ushered me into the royal presence. The queen was in her state dressing-room, her head attired forthe Drawing-room superbly; but her Court-dress, as usual, remaining to be put on at St. James's. She had already receivedall her early complimenters, and was prepared to go to St. James's: the princess royal was seated by her side, and all theother princesses, except the Princess Amelia, were in the room, with the Duchess of York. Mr. De Luc, Mrs. Schwellenberg, Madamede la Fite, and Miss Goldsworthy were in the background. The queen smiled upon me most graciously, and every princess cameup separately to speak with me. I thanked her majesty warmly foradmitting me upon such an occasion, "O!" cried she, "I resolvedto see you the moment I knew you were here. " She then inquired when I went into Norfolk, and conversed upon mysummer plans, etc. , with more of her original sweetness of mannerthan I have seen since my resignation. What pleasure this gaveme ! and what pleasure did I feel in being kept by her till thefurther door opened, and the king entered, accompanied by theDukes of York and Clarence. I motioned to retreat, but calling out, "What, Miss Burney, " theking came up to me and inquired how I did, - and began talking tome so pleasantly, so gaily, so kindly even, that I had thesatisfaction of remaining and of gathering courage to utter mygood wishes and warm fervent prayers for this day. He deigned tohear me very benignly; or make believe he did, for I did not makemy harangue very audibly; but he must be sure of its purport. He said I was grown "quite fat" since he had seen me, andappealed to the Duke of York: he protested my arm was half as bigagain as heretofore, and then he measured it with his Page 455 spread thumbs and forefingers; and the whole of his manner showedhis perfect approbation of the step I had taken, of presentingmyself in the royal presence on this auspicious day. The queen soon after walked up to me, and asked if I should liketo see the ball at night. I certainly should much like to haveseen them "in all their glory, " after seeing them thus in alltheir kindness, as well as to have been present at the firstpublic appearance at Court of the Princess Sophia : but I had nomeans to get from and to Chelsea so late at night, and was, therefore, forced to excuse myself, and decline her graciousproposition of giving me tickets. MR. HASTINGS'S SPEECH. Two days after, I went again to Westminster Hall with Miss Ord. Her good mother has a ticket for the Duke of Newcastle's box, inwhich she was seated. This -day's business consisted ofexamining witnesses: it was meant for the last meeting. Duringthis session - but when it was over, Mr. Hastings arose andaddressed the Lords in a most noble and pathetic speech, prayingthem to continue their attendance till his defence was heardthroughout, or, at least, not to deny him the finishing hisanswer to the first charge. He spoke, I believe, to the hearts of everybody, except hisprosecutors : the whole assembly seemed evidently affected bywhat he urged, upon the unexampled delay of justice In his trial:silence was never more profound than that which his voiceinstantly commanded. Poor unhappy, injured gentleman! How, howcan such men practise cruelty so glaring as is manifested in thewhole conduct of this trial! >From hence, as usual, I went to dine at the Queen's house. Mrs. Schwellenberg took me to the queen after coffee. She was writing to Lady Cremorne: she talked with me while shefinished her letter, and then read it to me, exactly as in oldtimes. She writes with admirable facility, and peculiar eleganceof expression, as well as of handwriting. She asked me, somewhat curiously, if I had seen any of my oldfriends? I found she meant oppositionists. I told her only atthe trial. She kept me in converse till the dear king came intothe room: he had a grandson of Lord Howe's with him, a little boyin petticoats, with whom he was playing, and whom he thoughtremembered me, I had seen him frequently Page 456 at Weymouth, and the innocent little fellow insisted upon Makingme his bows and reverences, when told to Make them to the queen. The king asked me what had been doing at Westminster Hall? Irepeated poor Mr. Hastings's remonstrance, particularly a part ofit in which he had mentioned that he had already "appealed to hismajesty, whose justice he could not doubt. " The king looked alittle queer, but I was glad of the opportunity of putting in aword for poor Mr. Hastings. I went on regularly to the trial till it finished for this year. Mr. Dallas closed his answer to the first charge, with greatspirit and effect, and seemed to make numerous Proselytes for Mr. Hastings. A WELL-PRESERVED BEAUTY. Thursday, June 18. -After many invitations and regulations, it wassettled I was to accompany my father on a visit of three days toMrs. Crewe at Hampstead. The villa at Hampstead is small, butcommodious. We were received by Mrs. Crewe with much kindness. The room was rather dark, and she had a veil to her bonnet, halfdown, and with this aid she looked still in a full blaze ofbeauty. I was wholly astonished. Her bloom, perfectly natural, is as high as that of Augusta Locke when in her best looks, andthe form of her face is so exquisitely perfect that my eye neverMet it without fresh admiration. She is certainly, in my eyes, the most completely a beauty of any woman I ever saw. I knownot, even now, any female in her first youth who could bear thecomparison. She uglifies everything near her. Her son was with her. He is just of age, and looks like herelder brother! He is a heavy old-looking young Man. He is goingto China with Lord Macartney. (363) THE BURKES. My former friend, young Burke, was also there. I was glad torenew acquaintance with him though I could see some littlestrangeness in him: this, however, completely wore off. Page 457 before the day was over. Soon after entered Mrs. Burke, MissF. , (364) a niece, and Mr. Richard Burke, the comic, humorous, bold, queer brother of the Mr. Burke, who, they said, was sooncoming, with Mr. Elliot. The Burke family were invited by Mrs. Crewe to meet us. Mrs. Burke was just what I have always seen her, soft, gentle, reasonable, and obliging; and we met, I think, upon as good termsas if so many years had not parted us. At length Mr. Burke appeared, accompanied by Mr. Elliot. Heshook hands with my father as soon as he had paid his devoirs toMrs. Crewe, but he returned my curtsey with so distant a bow, that I Concluded myself quite lost with him, from my evidentsolicitude in poor Mr. Hastings's cause. I could not wish thatless obvious, thinking as I think of it; but I felt infinitelygrieved to lose the favour of a man whom in all other articles, Iso much venerate, and whom, Indeed, I esteem and admire as thevery first man of true genius now living in this Country. Mrs. Crewe introduced me to Mr. Elliot: I am Sure we were alreadypersonally known to each other, for I have seen him perpetuallyin the managers' box, whence, as often, he must have seen me inthe great chamberlain's. He is a tall, thin young man, plain inface, dress, and manner, but sensible, and possibly much besides;he was reserved, however, and little else appeared. The moment I was named, to my great joy I found Mr. Burke had notrecollected me. He is more near-sighted, considerably, - thanmyself. "Miss Burney!" he now exclaimed, coming forward, andquite kindly taking my hand, "I did not see you;" and then hespoke very sweet words of the meeting, and of my looking farbetter than "while I was a courtier, " and of how he rejoiced tosee that I so little suited that station. "You look, " cried he, "quite renewed, revived, disengaged; you seemed, when I conversedwith you last, at the trial, quite altered; I never saw such achange for the better as quitting a Court has brought about!" Ah! thought I, this is simply a mistake, from reasoning accordingto your own feelings. I only seemed altered for the worse at thetrial, because I there looked coldly and distantly, from distasteand disaffection to your proceedings; and I here Page 458 . look changed for the better, only because I here meet You withoutthe chill of disapprobation, and with the glow of my firstadmiration of you and your talents! BURKE'S CONVERSATIONAL POWERS. Mrs. Crewe gave him her place, and he sat by me, and entered intoa most animated conversation upon Lord Macartney and his Chineseexpedition, and the two Chinese youths who were to accompany it. These last he described minutely and spoke of the extent of theundertaking in high, and perhaps fanciful, terms, but withallusions and anecdotes intermixed, so full of generalinformation and brilliant ideas, that I soon felt the whole of myfirst enthusiasm return, and with it a sensation of pleasure thatmade the day delicious to me. After this my father joined us, and politics took- the lead. Hespoke then with an eagerness and a vehemence that instantlybanished the graces, though it redoubled the energies, of hisdiscourse. "The French Revolution, " he said, "which began byauthorising and legalising Injustice, and which by rapid stepshad proceeded to every species of despotism except owning adespot, was now menacing all the universe and all mankind withthe most violent concussion of principle and order. " My fatherheartily joined, and I tacitly assented to his doctrines, thoughI feared not with his fears. One Speech I Must repeat, for it is explanatory of his conduct, and nobly explanatory. When lie had expatiated upon the presentdangers, even to English liberty and property, from the contagionof havoc and novelty, he earnestly exclaimed, "This it is thathas made ME an abettor and supporter of kings! Kings arenecessary, and if we would preserve peace and prosperity, we mustpreserve THEM we must all put our shoulders to the work! Ay, andstoutly, too!" This subject lasted till dinner. At dinner Mr. Burke sat next Mrs. Crewe, and I had the happinessto be seated next Mr. Burke, and my other neighbour was hisamiable son. The dinner, and the dessert when the servants were removed, weredelightful. How I wish my dear Susanna and Fredy could meet thiswonderful man when he is easy, happy, and with people hecordially likes! But politics, even on his own Page 459 side, must always be excluded; his irritability Is so terrible onthat theme that it gives immediately to his face the expressionof a man who is going to defend himself from murderers. I cangive you only a few little detached traits of what passed, asdetail would be endless. Charles Fox being mentioned, Mrs. Crewe told us that he hadlately said, upon being shown some passage in Mr. Burke's bookwhich he had warmly opposed, but which had, in the event, madeits own justification, very candidly, "Well! Burke is right--butBurke is often right, only he is right too soon. " "Had Fox seen some things in that book, " answered Mr. Burke, "assoon, he would at this moment, in all probability, be firstminister of this country. " "What!" cried Mrs. Crewe, "with Pitt?--No!--no!--Pitt won't goout, and Charles Fox will never make a coalition with Pitt. " "And why not?" said Mr. Burke, dryly; "why not this coalition aswell as other coalitions?" Nobody tried to answer this. "Charles Fox, however, " said Mr. Burke afterwards, "can neverinternally like the French Revolution. He is entangled; but, inhimself, if he should find no other objection to it, he has atleast too much taste for such a revolution. " Mr. Elliot related that he had lately been in a company of someof the first and most distinguished men of the French nation, nowfugitives here, and had asked them some questions about the newFrench ministry; they had answered that they knew them not evenby name till now! "Think, " cried he, "what a ministry that mustbe! Suppose a new administration formed here of Englishmen ofwhom we had never before heard the names! what statesmen theymust be! how prepared and fitted for government! To begin bybeing at the helm!" Mr. Richard Burke related, very comically, various censures castupon his brother, accusing him of being the friend of despots, and the abettor of slavery, because he had been shocked at theimprisonment of the king of France, and was anxious to preserveour own limited monarchy in the same state in which it so longhad flourished. Mr. Burke looked half alarmed at his brother's opening, but, Page 460 when he had finished, he very good-humouredly poured out a glassof wine, and, turning to me, said, "Come then--here's slavery forever!" This was well understood, and echoed round the table with heartylaughter. "This would do for you completely, Mr. Burke, " said Mrs. Crewe, "if it could get into a newspaper! Mr. Burke, they would say, has now spoken out; the truth has come to light unguardedly, andhis real defection from the cause Of true liberty isacknowledged. I should like to draw up the paragraph!" "And add, " said Mr. Burke, "the toast was addressed to MissBurney, in order to pay court to the queen!" This sport went on till, upon Mr. Elliot's again mentioningFrance and the rising jacobins, Mr. Richard Burke loudly gave anew toast--"Come!" cried he, "here's confusion to Confusion!" Mr. Windham, who Was gone into Norfolk for the summer, wasfrequently mentioned, and always with praise. Mr. Burke, uponMr. Elliot's saying something of his being very thin, warmlyexclaimed, "He is just as he should be! If I were Windham thisminute, I Should not wish to be thinner, nor fatter, nor taller, nor shorter, nor any way, nor in anything, altered. " Some time after, speaking of former days, you may believe I wasstruck enough to hear Mr. Burke say to Mrs. Crewe, "I wish youhad known Mrs. Delany! She was a pattern of a perfect fine lady, a real fine lady, of other days! Her manners were faultless; herdeportment was all elegance, her speech was all sweetness, andher air and address all dignity. I always looked up to her asthe model of an accomplished woman of former times. " Do you think I heard such a testimony to my most revered andbeloved departed friend unmoved? Afterwards, still to Mrs. Crewe, he proceeded to say, she hadbeen married to Mr. Wycherley, the author. (365) There I venturedto interrupt him, and tell him I fancied that must he some Page 461 great mistake, as I had been well acquainted with her historyfrom her own mouth. He seemed to have heard it from some goodauthority; but I could by no means accede my belief, as her reallife and memoirs had been so long in my hands, written by herself to a certain period, and, for some way, continued by me. This, however, I did not mention. A WILD IRISH GIRL. When we left the dining-parlour to the gentlemen, Miss F- seizedmy arm, without the smallest previous speech, and, with aprodigious Irish brogue, said "Miss Burney, I am so glad youcan't think to have this favourable opportunity of making anintimacy with you! I have longed to know you ever since I becamerational!" I was glad, too, that nobody heard her! She made me walk offwith her in the garden, whither we had adjourned for a stroll, ata full gallop, leaning upon my arm, and putting her face close tomine, and sputtering at every word from excessive eagerness. "I have the honour to know some of your relations in Ireland, "she continued; "that is, if they an't yours, which they are verysorry for, they are your sister's, which is almost the samething. Mr. Shirley first lent me 'Cecilia, ' and he was sodelighted to hear my remarks! Mrs. Shirley's a most beautifulcreature; she's grown so large and so big! and all her daughtersare beautiful; so is all the family. I never saw CaptainPhillips, but I dare say he's beautiful. " She is quite a wild Irish girl. Presently she talked of MissPalmer. "O, she loves you!" she cried; "she says she saw youlast Sunday, and she never was so happy in her life. She saidyou looked sadly. " This Miss F- is a handsome girl, and seems very good humoured. Iimagine her but just imported, and I doubt not but thesoft-mannercd, and well-bred, and quiet Mrs. Burke will soonsubdue this exuberance of loquacity. I gathered afterwards from Mrs. Crewe, that my curious newacquaintance made innumerable inquiries concerning my employmentand office under the queen. I find many people much disturbed toknow whether I had the place of the Duchess of Ancastor, on oneside, or of a chamber-maid, on the other. Truth is apt to liebetween conjectures. Page 462 ERSKINE's EGOTISM. The party returned with two very singular additions to itsnumber--Lord Loughborough, (366) and Mr. And Mrs. Erskine. (367) They have villas at Hampstead, and were met in the walk; Mr. Erskine else would not, probably, have desired to meet Mr. Burke, who openly in the House of Commons asked him if he knew whatfriendship meant, when he pretended to call him, Mr. Burke, hisfriend? There was an evident disunion of the cordiality of the party fromthis time. My father, Mr. Richard Burke, his nephew, and Mr. Elliot entered into some general discourse; Mr. Page 463 Burke took up a volume Of Boileau, and read aloud, though tohimself, and with a pleasure that soon made him seem to forgetall intruders; Lord Loughborough joined Mrs. Burke and Mr. Erskine, seating himself next to Mrs. Crewe, engrossed herentirely, yet talked loud enough for all to hear who were notengaged themselves. For me, I sat next Mrs. Erskine, who seems much a woman of the world, for she spoke with me just as freely, and readily, and easily as if we had been old friends. Mr. Erskine enumerated all his avocations to Mrs. Crewe, and, amongst others, mentioned, very calmly, having to plead againstMr. Crewe upon a manor business in Cheshire. Mrs. Crewe hastilyand alarmed interrupted him, to inquire what he meant, and whatmight ensue to Mr. Crewe? O, nothing but the loss of thelordship upon that spot, " he coolly answered; "but I don't knowthat it will be given against him: I only know I shall have threehundred Pounds for it. " Mrs. Crewe looked thoughtful; and Mr. Erskine then began to speakof the new Association for Reform, by the friends of the people, headed by Messrs. Grey and Sheridan, and sustained by Mr. Fox, and openly opposed by Mr. Windham, as well as Mr. Burke. He saidmuch of the use they had made of his name, though he had neveryet been to the society; and I began to understand that he meantto disavow it; but presently he added, "I don't know whether Ishall ever attend--I have so much to do--so little time: however, the people must be supported. "(368) "PRAY, will you tell me, " said Mrs. Crewe, drily, "what you meanby the people? I never knew. " He looked surprised, but evaded any answer and soon after tookhis leave, with his wife, who seems by no means to admire him asmuch as he admires himself, if I may judge by short odd speecheswhich dropped from her. The eminence of Mr. Erskine seems allfor public life; in private, his excessive egotisms undo him. Lord Loughborough instantly took his seat next to Mrs. Crewe; andpresently related a speech which Mr. Erskine has lately made atsome public meeting, and which he opened to this effect:--"As tome, gentlemen, I have some title to give my opinions freely. Would you know what my title is derived from? I challenge anyman to inquire! If he ask my Page 464 birth, --its genealogy may dispute with kings! If my wealth, itis all for which I have time to hold out my hand! If mytalents, --No! of those, gentlemen, I leave you to judge foryourselves. "(369) CAEN-WOOD. June 22. -Mrs. Crewe took my father and myself to see theHampstead lions. We went to Caen-wood, to see the house andpictures. Poor Lord Mansfield(370) has not been downstairs, thehousekeeper told us, for the last four years; yet she asserts heis by no means superannuated, and frequently sees his veryintimate friends, and seldom refuses to be consulted by anylawyers. He was particularly connected with my revered Mrs. Delany, and I felt melancholy upon entering his house torecollect how often that beloved lady had planned carryingthither Miss Port and myself, and how often we had been invitedby Miss Murrays, my lord's nieces. I asked after those ladies, and left them my respects. I heard they were up-stairs with LordMansfield, whom they never left. Many things in this house were interesting, because historicalbut I fancy the pictures, at least, not to have much otherrecommendation. A portrait Of Pope, by himself, I thoughtextremely curious. It is very much in the style of most ofjervas's own paintings. They told us that, after the burning ofLord Mansfield's house in town, at the time of Lord G. Gordon'sriots, thousands came to inquire, if this original portrait waspreserved. Luckily it was at Caen-wood. We spent a good deal of time in the library, --and saw firsteditions of almost all Queen Anne's classics; and lists ofsubscribers to Pope's "Iliad, " and many such matters, allenlivening to some corner or other of the memory. AN ADVENTURE WITH MRS. CREWE. We next proceeded to the Shakspeare gallery, (371) which I had Page 465 never seen. And here we met with an adventure that finished ourmorning's excursions. There was a lady in the first room, dressed rather singularly, quite alone, and extremely handsome, who was parading about witha nosegay in her hand, which she frequently held to her nose, ina manner that was evidently calculated to attract notice. Wetherefore passed on to the inner room, to avoid her. Here we hadbut just all taken our stand opposite different pictures, whenshe also entered, and, coming pretty close to my father, sniffedat her flowers with a sort of extatic eagerness, and then letthem fall. My father picked them up, and gravely presented themto her. She curtsied to the ground in receiving them, andpresently crossed over the room, and, , brushing past Mrs. Crewe, seated herself immediately by her elbow. Mrs. Crewe, notadmiring this familiarity, moved away, giving her at the sametime a look of dignified distance that was almost petrifying. It did not prove so to this lady, who presently followed her tothe next picture, and, sitting as close as she could to whereMrs. Crewe stood, began singing various quick passages, withoutwords or connexion. I saw Mrs. Crewe much alarmed, and advancedto stand by her, meaning to whisper her that we had better leavethe room; and this idea was not checked by seeing that theflowers were artificial. By the looks we interchanged we soonmutually said, "This is a mad woman. " We feared irritating her bya sudden flight, but gently retreated, and soon got quietly intothe large room when she bounced up with a great noise, and, throwing the veil of her bonnet violently back, as if fightingit, she looked after us, pointing at Mrs. Crewe. Seriously frightened, Mrs. Crewe seized my father's arm, andhurried up two or three steps into a small apartment. Here Mrs. Crewe, addressing herself to an elderly gentleman, asked if hecould inform the people below that a mad woman was terrifying thecompany ; and while he was receiving her commission with the mostprofound respect, and with an evident air of admiringastonishment at her beauty, we heard a rustling, and, lookinground, saw the same figure hastily striding after us, and in aninstant at our elbows. Mrs. Crewe turned quite pale ; it was palpable she was the objectpursued, and she most civilly and meekly articulated, "I beg yourpardon, ma'am, " as she hastily passed her, and hurried down thesteps. We were going to run for our lives, Page 466 when Miss Townshend whispered Mrs. Crewe it was Only Mrs. Wellsthe actress, and said she was certainly Only performing vagariesto try effect, which she was quite famous for doing. It would have been food for a painter to have seen Mrs. Creweduring this explanation. All her terror instantly gave way toindignation; and scarcely any pencil could equal the high vividglow of her cheeks. To find herself made the object of game tothe burlesque humour of a bold player, was an indignity she couldnot brook, and her mind was immediately at work how to assistherself against such unprovoked and unauthorized effrontery. The elderly gentleman who, with great eagerness, had followedMrs. Crewe, accompanied by a young man who was of his party, requested more particularly her commands ; but before Mrs. Crewe's astonishment and resentment found words, Mrs. Wells, singing, and throwing herself into extravagant attitudes, againrushed down the steps, and fixed her eyes on Mrs. Crewe. This, however, no longer served her purpose. Mrs. Crewe fixed her inreturn, and with a firm, composed, commanding air and look that, though it did not make this strange creature retreat, somewhatdisconcerted her for a few minutes. She then presently affecteda violent coughing such a one as almost shook the room; thoughsuch a forced and unnatural noise as rather resembled howlingthan a cold. This over, and perceiving Mrs, Crewe still steadily keeping her ground, she had the courage to come up to us, and, with aflippant air, said to the elderly gentleman, "Pray, sir, will youtell me what it is o'clock?" He looked vexed to be called a moment from looking at Mrs. Crewe, and, with a forbidding gravity, answered her, "About two. " "No offence, I hope, sir?" cried she, seeing him turn eagerlyfrom her. He bowed without looking at her, and she struttedaway, still, however, keeping in sight, and playing varioustricks, her eyes perpetually turned towards Mrs. Crewe, who asregularly, met them, with an expression such as might have turneda softer culprit to stone. Our cabal was again renewed, and Mrs. Crewe again told thisgentleman to make known to the proprietors of the gallery thatthis person was a nuisance to the company, when, suddenlyre-approaching as, she called out, "Sir! sir!" to the younger ofour new protectors. He coloured, and looked much alarmed, but only bowed. Page 467 "Pray, sir, " cried she, "what's o'clock?" He looked at his watch, and answered. "You don't take it ill, I hope, sir?" she cried. He only bowed. "I do no harm, sir, " said she; "I never bite. " The poor young man looked aghast, and bowed lower; but Mrs. Crewe, addressing herself to the elder, said aloud, "I beg you, sir, to go to Mr. Boydell; you may name me to him--Mrs. Crewe. " Mrs. Wells at this walked away, yet still in sight. "You may tell him what has happened, sir, in all our names. Youmay tell him Miss Burney--" "O no!" cried I, in a horrid fright, "I beseech I may not benamed! And, indeed, ma'am, it may be better to let it all alone. It will do no good; and it may all get into the newspapers. " "And if it does, " cried Mrs. Crewe, "what is it to us? We havedone nothing; we have given no offence, and made no disturbance. This person has frightened us all wilfully, and Utterly withoutprovocation; and now she can frighten us no longer, she wouldbrave us. Let her tell her own story, and how will it harmus?" "Still, " cried I, "I must always fear being brought into anynewspaper cabals. Let the fact be ever so much against her, shewill think the circumstances all to her honour if a paragraphcomes out beginning 'Mrs. Crewe and Mrs. Wells. '" Mrs. Crewe liked this sound as little as I should have liked itin placing my own name where I put hers. She hesitated a littlewhat to do, and we all walked down-stairs, where instantly thisbold woman followed us, paraded Up and down the long shop with adramatic air while our group was in conference, and then, sittingdown at the clerk's desk, and calling in a footman, she desiredhim to wait while she wrote a note. She scribbled a few lines, and read aloud her direction, "To Mr. Topham;" and giving the note to the man, said, "Tell your masterthat is something to make him laugh. Bid him not send to thepress till I see him. " Now as Mr. Topham is the editor of "The World, " and notoriouslyher protector, as her having his footman acknowledged, thislooked rather serious, and Mrs. Crewe began to partake of myalarm. She therefore, to my infinite satisfaction, told her newfriend that she desired he would name no names, but merelymention that some ladies had been frightened. . . . Page 468 We then got into Mrs. Crewe's carriage, and not till then wouldthis facetious Mrs. Wells quit the shop. And she walked insight, dodging us, and playing antics of a tragic sort ofgesture, till we drove out of her power to keep up with us. Whata strange creature! AN INVITATION FROM ARTHUR YOUNG. (Mr. Arthur Young to Fanny Burney. ) Bradfield Farm, June 18, 1792. WHAT a plaguy business 'tis to take up one's pen to write to aperson who is constantly moving in a vortex of pleasure, brilliancy, and wit, --whose movements and connections are, as itwere, in another world! One knows not how to manage the matterwith such folks, till you find by a little approximation andfriction of tempers and things that they are mortal, and no morethan good sort of people in the main, only garnished withsomething we do not possess ourselves. Now then, theconsequence. Only three pages to write, and one lost in introduction! To thematter at last. It seemeth that you make a journey to Norfolk. Now do ye see, ifyou do not give a call on the farmer, and examine his ram (an oldacquaintance), his bull, his lambs, calves, and crops, he willsay but one thing of you--that you are fit for a court, but notfor a farm; and there is more happiness to be found among myrooks than in the midst of all the princes and princesses ofGolconda. I would give an hundred pound to see you married to afarmer that never saw London, with plenty of poultry ranging in afew green fields, and flowers and shrubs disposed where theyshould be, around a cottage, and not around a breakfast-room inPortman-square, fading in eyes that know not to admire them. Inhonest truth now, let me request your company here. It will giveus all infinite pleasure. You are habituated to admiration, butyou shall have here what is much better--the friendship of thosewho loved you long before the world admired you. Come, and makeold friends happy! (346) The flight of the king and his family from Paris, on thenight of June 20-21. They reached Varennes in safety thefollowing night, but were there recognised and stopped, and thenext day escorted back to Paris. -ED. (347) The reader will find in Green's "History of the English People, " a widely different view of' the character of Dunstan. But Fanny knew only the old stories, and had, moreover, written atragedy, "Edwy and Elgiva, " in which Dunstan, in accordance withthose old stories, appears as the villain. -ED. (348) Author of the "New Bath Guide. "-ED. (349) Henrietta Frances, second daughter of John, first EarlSpencer, and younger sister of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, married Viscount Duncannon in 1780. She died in 1821. -ED. (350) Gibbon had good reason for his opinion of the power of LadyElizabeth's charms. In 1787, he met her at Lausanne, a youngwidow of twenty-eight, and found her allurements so irresistiblethat he proposed marriage to her, and was rejected. -ED. (351) Mrs. Ord was a yet more violent Tory than Fanny herself, and would believe no good of the Duchess of Devonshire, the queenof the Whigs. -ED. (352) In the "Memoirs of Dr. Burney, " Fanny writes in more detailof this her last visit to Sir Joshua. "He was still more deeplydepressed; though Miss Palmer good-humouredly drew a smile fromhim, by gaily exclaiming, 'Do, pray, now, uncle, ask Miss Burneyto write another book directly! for we have almost finishedCecilia again--and this is our sixth reading of it!'" "The little occupation, Miss Palmer said, of which Sir joshua wasthen capable, was carefully dusting the paintings in his picturegallery, and placing them in different points of view. "This passed at the conclusion Of 1791; on the February of thefollowing year, this friend, equally amiable and eminent, was nomore! (Memoirs, vol. Iii. P. 144). -ED. (353) The wife of Sir Lucas Pepys. -ED. (354) Afterwards Lord Ellenborough: the leading counsel forHastings. -ED. (355) February 23, 1792. -ED. (356) The greater part of Sir joshua's large fortune was left tohis unmarried niece, Mary Palmer. Considerable legacies wereleft to his niece, Mrs. Gwatkin (Offy Palmer), and to his friendEdmund Burke. In addition to these legacies, his will providedfor a number of small bequests, including one of a thousandpounds to his old servant, Ralph Kirkley. In the followingsummer Mary Palmer married the Earl of Inchiquin, afterwardsMarquis of Thomond. "He is sixty-nine, " Fanny writes about thattime of Lord Inchiquin; "but they say he is remarkably pleasingin his manners, and soft and amiable in his disposition. "-ED. (357) He was buried in the crypt of St. Paul's Cathedral, nearthe tomb of Sir Christopher Wren. -ED. (358) The recent proclamation by the Government against thepublication and sale of seditious writings. The "new associates"were members of the societies of sympathisers with the principlesof the French Revolution, which, under such titles as "Friends ofthe People. " "Corresponding Society, " etc. , were now spreadingall over England. -ED. (359) The revolutionary clubs of Paris, the Jacobins' Club inparticular, gradually acquired such power as enabled them tooverawe the Legislative Assembly, and even, at a later date, theConvention itself. Their influence only ceased with theoverthrow and death of their leader, Robespièrre, in 1794. -ED. (360) The wife and eldest daughter of Arthur Young, thewell-known writer on agriculture. Mrs. Young was the sister ofDr. Burney's second Wife. -ED. (361) "Madame de Genlis's husband, the Count de Genlis, hadbecome Marquis of Sillery by the death of his elder brother. Hewas a Revolutionist and member of the Girondin party: one of thetwenty-two Girondins who perished by the guillotine, October 31, 1793. Madame de Genlis (or Brulard) had come to England inOctober, 1791, with her young pupil, Mlle. D'Orléans(Egalité), the daughter of Philippe Egalité, Duke of Orleans, whose physicians had ordered her to take the waters at Bath. They remained in England until November, 1792, when they wererecalled to Paris by Egalité. Arriving there, they foundthemselves proscribed as emigrants, and obliged to quit Pariswithin eight-and-forty hours. They then took refuge in Flanders, and settled at Tournay where Pamela was married to Lord EdwardFitzgerald, subsequently one of the leaders in the IrishRebellion of 1798. In Flanders Madame de Genlis enjoyed theprotection of General Dumontiez, but when he became suspected, with too good reason, by the Convention, she was obliged again totake flight, and found safety at last with Mlle. D'Orléans, inSwitzerland. Pamela was the adopted daughter of Madame de Genlis; some saidher actual daughter by the Duke of Orleans; but this is at leastdoubtful. "Circe, " or "Henrietta Circe, " as Fanny afterwardscalls her, was Madame de Genlis's niece, Henriette de Sercey (!), who subsequently married a rich merchant of Hamburg. -ED. VOL. 11. (362) "Is it possible? Am I so happy? Do I see my dear MissBurney?" (363) Earl Macartney was sent as ambassador to China in 1793, forthe purpose of concluding a commercial treaty with that power. He was unsuccessful, however, and, after spending some months inChina, the embassy returned to England. -ED. (364) "Miss French, a lively niece of Mr. Burke's. " (. Memoirs ofDr. Burney, vol. Iii, p. 157. )-ED. (365) Burke was, of course, mistaken. When Wycherley died, atseventy-five (December, 1715), Mary Granville (afterwards Mrs. Delany) was in her sixteenth year. Wycherley, it is true, married a young wife on his deathbed, but it is certain that thiswas not Mary Granville; indeed, if Pope's account, given inSpence's "Anecdotes, " may be trusted, it was a woman of verydifferent character. -ED. (366) Alexander Wedderburn, afterwards Lord Loughborough, wasborn in or near Edinburgh in 1733. He attained distinction atthe bar, and entered Parliament early in the reign of George III. As a politician he was equally notorious for his skill in debateand his want of public principle. Previously a member of theopposition, he ratted to the Government in 1771, and was rewardedby Lord North with the Solicitor-Generalship. He defended LordClive in 1773. When Thurlow became Lord Chancellor (in 1778), Wedderburn succeeded him in the office of Attorney-General. In1786 he was made Chief justice of the Court of Common Pleas, andcalled to the House of Peers by the title of Baron Loughborough. After this we find him acting as a follower of Charles Fox, andleader of the Whig party in the House of Lords. He supportedFox's views on the Regency question in 1788-9, but when the splitin the Whig party on the subject of the French Revolution tookplace, Loughborough, like Burke, gave his support to thegovernment. In January, 1793, he obtained the long coveted postof Lord Chancellor. He died January 1, 1805. A story goes thatwhen the news of Loughborough's death was brought to George III. , "his majesty was graciously pleased to exclaim, 'Then he has notleft a greater knave behind him in my dominions. '" (Campbell's"Lives of the Chancellors, " vol. Vi. , p. 334. )-ED. (367) Thomas Erskine (born 1750, died 1823), "If less eminent inthe law, was a far more respectable politician than Loughborough, although his parliamentary career was by no means so brilliant. He was a consistent Whig, with the courage of his convictions. He lost his post of Attorney-General to the Prince of Walesthrough his defence of Thomas Paine, author of the famous "Rightsof Man, " in December, 1792. Fired by the example of the FrenchRevolutionists, the friends of liberty in England were, aboutthis time, everywhere forming themselves into politicalassociations, for the purpose of promoting Parliamentary reform, and generally "spreading the principles of freedom. " By thegovernment these societies were regarded as seditious. Erskinewas a member of one or more of these associations, and one of hismost brilliant triumphs at the bar was connected with theprosecution by government (October, 1794), of Hardy Thelwall andHorne Tooke for high treason, as members of one of these supposedseditious societies. The prisoners were defended by Erskine andacquitted. Erskine became Lord Chancellor in 1806 after thedeath of Pitt. -ED. (368) On his own admission Erskine was a member of the Society ofFriends of the People about the end of 1792-ED. (369) With all his talents Erskine was always noted for hisinordinate vanity. -ED. (370) The famous Lord Chief justice. He died in 1793, agedeighty-eight years. -ED. (371) Alderman Boydell's celebrated "Shakspeare Gallery" in PallMall, contained paintings illustrative of Shakspeare by Reynolds, Romney, Fuseli, and many others of the most distinguishedpainters of the day. The entire collection, comprising onehundred and seventy works, was sold by auction by Christie, inMay, 1805. -ED. (372) For Arthur Young, see postea, vol. Iii. , p. 17. BradfieldFarm, his home was in Suffolk, in the neighbourhood of Bury St. Edmunds. -ED.