THE DEPOT MASTER

By Joseph C. Lincoln

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

I. -- AT THE DEPOT

II. -- SUPPLY AND DEMAND

III. -- "STINGY GABE"

IV. -- THE MAJOR

V. -- A BABY AND A ROBBERY

VI. -- AVIATION AND AVARICE

VII. -- CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE

VIII. --THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN

IX. -- THE WIDOW BASSETT

X. -- CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES

XI. -- THE GREAT METROPOLIS

XII. -- A VISION SENT

XIII. --DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY

XIV. -- EFFIE'S FATE

XV. -- THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY

XVI. -- THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR

XVII. --ISSY'S REVENGE

XVIII. THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET

THE DEPOT MASTER

CHAPTER I

AT THE DEPOT

Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence andpaused a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes. Mr. Phinney was a man of various and sundry occupations, and his sign, nailed to the big silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a few ofthem. "Carpenter, Well Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry Bogs Seen towith Care and Dispatch, etc. , etc. , " so read the sign. The house wassituated in "Phinney's Lane, " the crooked little byway off "CrossStreet, " between the "Shore Road" at the foot of the slope and the "HillBoulevard"--formerly "Higgins's Roost"--at the top. From the Phinneygate the view was extensive and, for the most part, wet. The hilldescended sharply, past the "Shore Road, " over the barren fields andknolls covered with bayberry bushes and "poverty grass, " to the yellowsand of the beach and the gray, weather-beaten fish-houses scatteredalong it. Beyond was the bay, a glimmer in the sunset light. 

Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes. Herhusband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancientsilver watch from his pocket and looked at its dial. Quarter past six. Time to be getting down to the depot and the post office. At least adozen male citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very thing atthat very moment. It was a community habit of long standing to see thetrain come in and go after the mail. The facts that the train bore nopassengers in whom you were intimately interested, and that you expectedno mail made little difference. If you were a man of thirty or older, you went to the depot or the "club, " just as your wife or sisters wentto the sewing circle, for sociability and mild excitement. If you werea single young man you went to the post office for the same reason thatyou attended prayer meeting. If you were a single young lady you wentto the post office and prayer meeting to furnish a reason for the youngman. 

Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to thesidewalk and looked down the hill and along the length of the "ShoreRoad. " Beside the latter highway stood a little house, painted aspotless white, its window blinds a vivid green. In that house dwelt, and dwelt alone, Captain Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's particularfriend. Captain Sol was the East Harniss depot master and, from longacquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he should be through supper andready to return to the depot, by this time. The pair usually walkedthither together when the evening meal was over. 

But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney, there was no sign of life about the Berry house. Either Captain Sol hadalready gone, or he was not yet ready to go. So Mr. Phinney decided thatwaiting was chancey, and set out alone. 

He climbed Cross Street to where the "Hill Boulevard, " abiding place ofEast Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there, standing onthe corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where he so stood, wasMr. Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less. 

Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a gentlemanlyway, "boomer. " His estate on the Boulevard was the finest in the county, and he, more than any one else, was responsible for the "buying up"by wealthy people from the city of the town's best building sites, thespots commanding "fine marine sea views, " to quote from Abner Payne, local real estate and insurance agent. His own estate was fine enough tobe talked about from one end of the Cape to the other and he had boughtthe empty lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flowerbeds and gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick theflowers or tread the walks. He had brought on a wealthy friend from NewYork and a cousin from Chicago, and they, too, had bought acres on theBoulevard and erected palatial "cottages" where once were the houses ofcountry people. Local cynics suggested that the sign on the East Harnissrailroad station should be changed to read "Williamsburg. " "He owns theplace, body and soul, " said they. 

As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, andimposing, held up a signaling finger. "Just as if he was hailin' a horsecar, " described Simeon afterward. 

"Phinney, " he said, "come here, I want to speak to you. "

The man of many trades obediently approached. 

"Good evenin', Mr. Williams, " he ventured. 

"Phinney, " went on the great man briskly, "I want you to give me yourfigures on a house moving deal. I have bought a house on the Shore Road, the one that used to belong to the--er--Smalleys, I believe. "

Simeon was surprised. "What, the old Smalley house?" he exclaimed. "Youdon't tell me!"

"Yes, it's a fine specimen--so my wife says--of the pure Colonial, whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard. I want yourfigures for the job. "

The building mover looked puzzled. "To the Boulevard?" he said. "Why, Ididn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr. Williams. "

"There isn't now, but there will be soon. I have got hold of the hundredfeet left from the old Seabury estate. "

Mr. Phinney drew a long breath. "Why!" he stammered, "that's where OliveEdwards--her that was Olive Seabury--lives, ain't it?"

"Yes, " was the rather impatient answer. "She has been living there. Butthe place was mortgaged up to the handle and--ahem--the mortgage is minenow. "

For an instant Simeon did not reply. He was gazing, not up the Boulevardin the direction of the "Seabury place" but across the slope of thehill toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master. There was atroubled look on his face. 

"Well?" inquired Williams briskly, "when can you give me the figures?They must be low, mind. No country skin games, you understand. "

"Hey?" Phinney came out of his momentary trance. "Yes, yes, Mr. Williams. They'll be low enough. Times is kind of dull now and I'dlike a movin' job first-rate. I'll give 'em to you to-morrer. But--butOlive'll have to move, won't she? And where's she goin'?"

"She'll have to move, sure. And the eyesore on that lot now will comedown. "

The "eyesore" was the four room building, combined dwelling and shop ofMrs. Olive Edwards, widow of "Bill Edwards, " once a promising young man, later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead these five years, luckilyfor himself and luckier--in a way--for the wife who had stuck by himwhile he wasted her inheritance in a losing battle with John Barleycorn. At his death the fine old Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundredfeet of land, the little house, and a mortgage on both. Olive had openeda "notion store" in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusingaid and trying to earn a living. She had failed. Again Phinney staredthoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol. 

"But Olive, " he said, slowly. "She ain't got no folks, has she? What'llbecome of her? Where'll she move to?"

"That, " said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, "is not mybusiness. I am sorry for her, if she's hard up. But I can't beresponsible if men will drink up their wives' money. Look out for numberone; that's business. I sha'n't be unreasonable with her. She can staywhere she is until the new house I've bought is moved to that lot. Thenshe must clear out. I've told her that. She knows all about it. Well, good-by, Phinney. I shall expect your bid to-morrow. And, mind, don'ttry to get the best of me, because you can't do it. "

He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard. Sim Phinney, ponderingdeeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross Streetto Main--naming the village roads was another of the Williams'"improvements"--and along that to the crossing, East Harniss's businessand social center at train times. 

The station--everyone called it "deepo, " of course--was then a small redbuilding, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat because of CaptainBerry's rigid surveillance. Close beside it was the "Boston Grocery, Dry Goods and General Store, " Mr. Beriah Higgins, proprietor. Beriahwas postmaster and the post office was in his store. The male citizenof middle age or over, seeking opportunity for companionship and chat, usually went first to the depot, sat about in the waiting room until thetrain came in, superintended that function, then sojourned to the postoffice until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to bea particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn untilCaptain Sol announced that it was time to "turn in. "

When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it alreadytenanted. Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official authority wasrepresented by "Issy" McKay--his full name was Issachar Ulysses GrantMcKay--a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-headed youth of twenty, who, as usual, was sprawled along the settee by the wall, engrossed ina paper covered dime novel. "Issy" was a lover of certain kinds ofliterature and reveled in lurid fiction. As a youngster he had, atthe age of thirteen, after a course of reading in the "Deadwood DickLibrary, " started on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where, being armed with home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplatedextermination of the noble red man. A wrathful pursuing parent hadcollared the exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge delight ofEast Harniss, young and old. Since this adventure Issy had been famous, in a way. 

He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot. Why an assistantwas needed was a much discussed question. Why Captain Sol, a retiredseafaring man with money in the bank, should care to be depot masterat ten dollars a week was another. The Captain himself said he took theplace because he wanted to do something that was "half way between aloaf and a job. " He employed an assistant at his own expense becausehe "might want to stretch the loafin' half. " And he hired Issybecause--well, because "most folks in East Harniss are alike and you canalways tell about what they'll say or do. Now Issy's different. The Lordonly knows what HE'S likely to do, and that makes him interestin' as aconundrum, to guess at. He kind of keeps my sense of responsibility fromgettin' mossy, Issy does. "

"Issy, " hailed Mr. Phinney, "has the Cap'n got here yet?"

Issy answered not. The villainous floorwalker had just profferedmatrimony or summary discharge to "Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl, " andpending her answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles. 

"Issy!" shouted Simeon. "I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead! Has Cap'nSol--"

"No, he ain't, Sim, " volunteered Ed Crocker. He and his chum, CorneliusRowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs, their feet on twoothers. "He ain't got here yet. We was just talkin' about him. You'veheard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose likely, ain't you?"

Phinney nodded gloomily. 

"Yes, " he said, "I've heard. "

"Well, it's too bad, " continued Crocker. "But, after all, it's Olive'sown fault. She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she had thechance. What she ever gave him the go-by for, after the years they waskeepin' comp'ny, is more'n I can understand. "

Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom. Captain Sol, himself, remarked once: "I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't jealousof Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for the runnin' ofall creation. "

"Humph!" grunted Mr. Rowe. "There's more to that business than you folksthink. Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to sea andstayed two years and over. How do you know she shook Sol? You might justas well say he shook her. He always was stubborn as an off ox and crankyas a windlass. I wonder how he feels now, when she's lost her last redand is goin' to be drove out of house and home. And all on account ofthat fool 'mountain and Mahomet' business. "

"WHICH?" asked Mr. Crocker. 

"Never mind that, Cornelius, " put in Phinney, sharply. "Why don't youlet other folks' affairs alone? That was a secret that Olive told yoursister and you've got no right to go blabbin'. "

"Aw, hush up, Sim! I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed here, and he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it already. Themountain and Mahomet? Why, them was the last words Sol and Olive had. 'Twas Sol's stubbornness that was most to blame. That was his one badfault. He would have his own way and he wouldn't change. Olive had sether heart on goin' to Washin'ton for their weddin' tower. Sol wantedto go to Niagara. They argued a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No, Solomon, I'm not goin' to give in this time. I have all the others, butit's not fair and it's not right, and no married life can be happy whereone does all the sacrificin'. If you care for me you'll do as I wantnow. '

"And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but youand me must see Niagara. ' And she was sot and he was sotter, and at lastthey quarreled. He marches out of the door and says: 'Very good. Whenyou're ready to be sensible and change your mind, you can come to me. And says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No, Solomon, I'm right andyou're not. I'm afraid this time the mountain must come to Mahomet. 'That ended it. He went away and never come back, and after a long spellshe give in to her dad and married Bill Edwards. Foolish? 'Well, now, WA'N'T it!"

"Humph!" grunted Crocker. "She must have been a born gump to let a smartman like him get away just for that. "

"There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house, "interjected Phinney. "You remember that next time you look in the glass, Ed Crocker. And--and--well, there's no better friend of Sol Berry's onearth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was concerned, if you askme I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh right. "

"Maybe--maybe, " declared the allwise Cornelius, "but just the same if Iwas Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the poorhouse, I'll bet my conscience--"

"S-ssh!" hissed Crocker, frantically. Cornelius stopped in the middleof his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up. Behind him in thedoorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself. The blue cap he alwayswore was set back on his head, a cigar tipped upward from the cornerof his mouth, and there was a grim look in his eye and about the smoothshaven lips above the short, grayish-brown beard. 

"Issy" sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into hispocket. Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet. Sim Phinneygrinned at Mr. Rowe, who was very much embarrassed. 

"Er--er--evenin', Cap'n Sol, " he stammered. "Nice, seasonable weather, ain't it? Been a nice day. "

"Um, " grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar. 

"Just right for workin' outdoor, " continued Cornelius. 

"I guess it must be. I saw your wife rakin' the yard this mornin'. "

Phinney doubled up with a chuckle. Mr. Rowe swallowed hard. "I--I TOLDher I'd rake it myself soon's I got time, " he sputtered. 

"Um. Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious. Evenin', Sim, glad to see you. "

He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it. 

"Issy, " said Captain Sol, "you'd better get busy with the broom, hadn'tyou. It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't wonder if itneeded exercise. Sim, the train ain't due for twenty minutes yet. Thatgives us at least three quarters of an hour afore it gets here. Comeoutside a spell. I want to talk to you. "

He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station, andseated himself on the baggage truck. That side of the building, beingfurthest from the street, was out of view from the post office and"general store. "

"What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?" asked Simeon, sitting downbeside his friend on the truck. 

The Captain smoked in silence for a moment. Then he asked a question inreturn. 

"Sim, " he said, "have you heard anything about Williams buying theSmalley house? Is it true?"

Phinney nodded. "Yup, " he answered, "it's true. Williams was justtalkin' to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's goin'. "

He repeated the conversation with the great man. Captain Sol didnot interrupt. He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as helistened. 

"Humph!" he said, when his friend had concluded. "Humph! Sim, do youhave any idea what--what Olive Seabury will do when she has to go?"

Phinney glanced at him. It was the first time in twenty years that hehad heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former sweetheart. Andeven now he did not call her by her married name, the name of her latehusband. 

"No, " replied Simeon. "No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea. Poor thing!"

Another interval. Then: "Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let meknow. And, " turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly, "don't letanybody ELSE know I asked. "

"Course I won't, Sol, you know that. But don't it seem awful meanturnin' her out so? I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such athing. "

His companion smiled grimly; "I would, " he said. "'Business isbusiness, ' that's his motto. That and 'Look out for number one. '"

"Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one. "

"Did he? Humph!" The Captain's smile lost a little of its bitternessand broadened. He seemed to be thinking and to find amusement in theprocess. 

"What you grinnin' at?" demanded Phinney. 

"Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one thefirst--no, the second time I met him. I don't believe he's forgot it. Maybe that's why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he is to therest of you fellers. Ha! ha! He tried to patronize me when I first cameback here and took this depot and I just smiled and asked him what themarket price of johnny-cake was these days. He got red clear up to thebrim of his tall hat. Humph! 'TWAS funny. "

"The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE! He must have thought you was loony. "

"No. I'm the last man he'd think was loony. You see I met him a fore hecame here to live at all. "

"You did? Where?"

"Oh, over to Wellmouth. 'Twas the year afore I come back to EastHarniss, myself, after my long stretch away from it. I never intended tosee the Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow. I've told youthat much--how I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a spell, got sickof that, and, just to be doin' somethin' and not for the money, boughta catboat and took out sailin' parties from Wixon and Wingate's summerhotel. "

"And you met Mr. Williams? Well, I snum! Was he at the hotel?"

"No, not exactly. I met him sort of casual this second time. "

"SECOND time? Had you met him afore that?"

"Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim. It happened this way: You see, I wascomin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center when I runafoul of him. He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a skittish horse hitchedto a fancy buggy. When he sighted me he hove to and hailed. 

"'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him. 'Your name'sBerry, ain't it. '

"'Yup, ' says I. 

"'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or somethin'like that? Hey?' he says. 

"'Well, ' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's eye. They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was young at thetime and they took advantage. '

"He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his mouth, and commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine tree. 

"'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other, ' he says. 'There's moreBible names in this forsaken sand heap than there is Christians, a goodsight. When I meet a man with a Bible name and chin whiskers I hang onto my watch. The feller that sets out to do me has got to have a bettermake up than that, you bet your life. 'Well, see here, King Sol; can yourun a gasoline launch?'

"'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds, ' saysI, pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers. This fat man had got meinterested. He was so polite and folksy in his remarks. Didn't seem tostand on no ceremony, as you might say. Likewise there was a kind offamiliar somethin' about his face. I knew mighty well I'd never met himafore, and yet I seemed to have a floatin' memory of him, same as a chapremembers the taste of the senna and salts his ma made him take when hewas little. 

"'All right, ' says he, sharp. 'Then you come around to my landin'to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my launchto the cod-fishin' grounds. I'll give you ten dollars to take me outthere and back. '

"'Well, ' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough. Do I furnish--'

"'You furnish nothin' except your grub, ' he interrupts. 'The launch'llbe ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready. My own man was todo the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart talk just now and I toldhim where he could go and go quick. No smart Alec gets the best of me, even if he has got a month's contract. You run that launch and put me onthe fishin' grounds. I pay you for that and bringin' me back again. AndI furnish my own extras and you can furnish yours. I don't want any ofyour Yankee bargainin'. See?'

"I saw. There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job. 'Twaswell along into September; the hotel was closed for the season; andabout all I had on my hands just then was time. 

"'All right, ' says I, 'it's a deal. If you'll guarantee to have yourlaunch ready, I--'

"'That's my business, ' he says. 'It'll be ready. If it ain't you'll getyour pay just the same. To-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock. And don'tyou forget and be late. Gid-dap, you blackguard!' says he to the horse. 

"'Hold on, just a minute, ' I hollers, runnin' after him. 'I don't wantto be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it might helpme to be on time if I knew where your launch was goin' to be and whatyour name was. '

"He pulled up then. 'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name andmore about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only one inthis county that don't. My name's Williams, and I live in what you folkscall the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet. The launch is at mylandin' down in front of the house. '

"He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'. I knew who he wasnow, of course. There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place wasrented, and I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to the hailof Williams and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an enlarged incomeand the diseases that go along with it. He lived alone up there in thebig house, except for a cranky housekeeper and two or three servants. This was afore he got married, Sim; his wife's tamed him a little. Thenthe yarns about his temper and language would have filled a log book. 

"But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I wasconcerned. I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could standthis one--ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow. Bluster and big talk mayscare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy Parker's falseteeth, the further off you be from 'em the more real they look. So thenext mornin' I was up bright and early and on my way over to the Lathroplandin'. 

"The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf. Nice, slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt gorgeousness. I'dliked her better if she'd carried a sail, for it's my experience thatcanvas is a handy thing to have aboard in case of need; but she lookedseaworthy enough and built for speed. 

"While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard footstepsand brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and here comesWilliams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-lookin' hired mantotin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with a lunch basket on top. Williams himself wan't carryin' anything but his temper, but he hadn'tforgot none of that. 

"'Hello, Berry, ' says he to me. 'You are on time, ain't you. Blessed ifit ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I tell 'em. Now you, 'he says to the servant, 'put them things aboard and clear out as quickas you've a mind to. You and I are through; understand? Don't let mefind you hangin' around the place when I get back. Cast off, Sol. '

"The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly, and meand the boss climbed aboard. I cast off. 

"'Mr. Williams, ' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin' to payme the rest of my month's wages?'

"Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it emphatic. 

"I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip. All at once thathired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us. 

"'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells. 'You'll be sorry for whatyou done to me. '

"I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but Iwas hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight, and Ithought 'twas high time we started. 

"The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainlylived up to it. 'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea worthmentionin' and we biled along fine. We had to, because the cod ledge isa good many mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea, and, judgin' bywhat I'd seen of Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin' to spend more timewith him than was necessary. More'n that, there was fog signs showin'. 

"'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked him. 

"'When I've caught as many fish as I want to, ' he says. 'I told thathousekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and ready; it mightbe to-night and it might be ten days from now. "If I ain't back in aweek you can hunt me up, " I told her; "but not before. And that goes. "I've got HER trained all right. She knows me. It's a pity if a man can'tbe independent of females. '

"I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin' tothat rule. But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him so. Hesaid of course not; we'd be home that evenin'. 

"The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along. 'Twas a beautiful mornin' and, after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled disposition likethat banker man's. He lit up a cigar and begun to get more sociable, inhis way. Commenced to ask me questions about myself. 

"By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart thingto get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'

"'Not if it's to last a week, I don't, ' says I. 

"'It's your lookout if it does, ' he says prompt. 'You get ten for takin'me out and back. If you ain't back on time 'tain't my fault. '

"'Unless this craft breaks down, ' I says. 

"''Twon't break down. I looked after that. My motto is to look out fornumber one every time, and it's a mighty good motto. At any rate, it'smade my money for me. '

"He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid, andhow mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we didn'tappreciate how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick of it. 

"'Look here, Mr. Williams, ' says I, 'you know how I make my money--whatlittle I do make--or you say you do. Now, if it ain't a sassy question, how did you make yours?'

"Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin' outfor number one. 'Number one' was his hobby. I gathered that the heft ofhis spare change had come from dickers in stocks and bonds. 

"'Humph!' says I. 'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've allersheard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the tail ofthe stock market. What makes the stock market price of--well, of wheat, we'll say?'

"That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand. If afeller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to have some orstarve, why, the first one had a right to gouge t'other chap's last centaway from him afore he let it go. 

"'That's legitimate, ' he says. 'That's cornerin' the market. Law ofsupply and demand exemplified. '

"''Cordin' to that law, ' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin' to-dayand hunted me up to run your boat here--'cause I was about the only chapwho could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy--I'd ought to have chargedyou twenty dollars instead of ten. '

"'Sure you had, ' he says, grinnin'. 'But you weren't shrewd enough tograsp the situation and do it. Now the deal's closed and it's too late. '

"He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such. How prices ofthis stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks hadput their money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands but the'poolers' would be what he called 'squeezed out, ' and the gang would gettheir cash. That was legitimate, too--'high finance, ' he said. 

"'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them stocks, 'I asks, 'and don't know high financin'? Where's the law of supply anddemand come in for them?'

"He laughed. 'They supply the suckers and the demand for money, ' sayshe. 

"By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds. 'Twas the badseason now; the big fish had struck off still further and there wa'n'tanother boat in sight. The land was just a yeller and green smooch alongthe sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger. The Shootin' Star wasseaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about her. The only thing thattroubled me was the fog, and that was pilin' up to wind'ard. I'd calledFatty's attention to it when we fust started, but he said he didn't carea red for fog. Well, I didn't much care nuther, for we had a compassaboard and the engine was runnin' fine. What wind there was was blowin'offshore. 

"And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'. I give the wheel awhirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit again. I wentfor'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there wa'n't a drop ofgasoline left in the tank. The spare cans had ought to have been full, and they was--but 'twas water they was filled with. 

"'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks, sarcastic. 

"'That--that man of mine told me he had everything filled, ' he stammers, lookin' scart. 

"'Yes, ' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to makeyou sorry. I guess he's done it. '

"Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was somethin'surprisin' to hear. When he'd used up all he had in stock he inventednew ones. When the praise service was over he turns to me and says: 'Butwhat are we goin' to do?'

"'Do?' says I. 'That's easy. We're goin' to drift. '

"And that's what we done. I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over theledge and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or less. Irigged up a sail out of the oar and the canvas spray shield, but therewa'n't wind enough to give us steerageway. So we drifted and drifted, out to sea. And by and by the fog come down and shut us in, and thatfixed what little hope I had of bein' seen by the life patrol on shore. 

"The breeze died out flat about three o'clock. In one way this was agood thing. In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in deep water, and when the wind did come it was likely to come harder'n we needed. However, there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait and hope for the best, asthe feller said when his wife's mother was sick. 

"It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin' whenI smelt the wind a-comin'. It came in puffs at fust, and every puff washealthier than the one previous. Inside of ten minutes it was blowin'hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick up. I got up my jury rig--theoar and the spray shield--and took the helm. There wa'n't nothin' todo but run afore it, and the land knows where we would fetch up. At anyrate, if the compass was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again, for the wind had hauled clear around. 

"The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed. Fatty had on all the ileskins andsweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie. 

"'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters. 'What will we do? Will we drown?'

"'Don't know, ' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight thecompass. 'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's true thatfat floats. '

"I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't. A big waveheeled us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over thegunwale. He give a yell and jumped up. 

"'My Lord!' he screams. 'We're sinkin'. Help! help!'

"'Set down!' I roared. 'Thought you knew how to act in a boat. Set down!d'you hear me? SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'

"He set. Likewise he shivered and groaned. It got darker all the timeand the wind freshened every minute. I expected to see that jury mast goby the board at any time. Lucky for us it held. 

"No use tellin' about the next couple of hours. 'Cordin' to my reckonin'they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb through the broadsideof the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for Africy. But at last we gotinto smoother water, and then, right acrost our bows, showed up a whitestrip. The fog had pretty well blowed clear and I could see it. 

"'Land, ho!' I yells. 'Stand by! WE'RE goin' to bump. '"

Captain Sol stopped short and listened. Mr. Phinney grasped his arm. 

"For the dear land sakes, Sol, " he exclaimed, "don't leave me hangin' inthem breakers no longer'n you can help! Heave ahead! DID you bump?"

The depot master chuckled. 

"DID we?" he repeated. "Well, I'll tell you that by and by. Here comesthe train and I better take charge of the ship. Anything so responsibleas seein' the cars come in without me to help would give Issy thejumpin' heart disease. "

He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the station. Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green of the swampcedars at the head of the track, an advancing column of smoke. A whistlesounded. The train was coming in. 

CHAPTER II

SUPPLY AND DEMAND

And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered. Issy McKaydashed out of the station and rushed importantly up and down theplatform. Ed Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped themselvesin statuesque attitudes against the side of the building. Obed Gott camehurrying from his paint and oil shop, which was next to the "generalstore. " Mr. Higgins, proprietor of the latter, sauntered easily acrossto receive, in his official capacity as postmaster, the mail bag. Ten ormore citizens, of both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups toinspect and supervise. 

The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a "baggage, " a "smoker, "and two "passengers, " alongside the platform. The sliding door of thebaggage car was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in theopening. "Hi! Cap'n!" he shouted. "Hi, Cap'n Sol! Here's some expressfor you. "

But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the conductor atthe other end of the train. Issy, willing and officious, sprang forward. "I'll take it, Bill, " he volunteered. "Here, give it to me. "

The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked"Glass. With Care. " Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom, turnedand saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins, stepping fromthe first car to the platform. Gertie had been staying with an aunt inTrumet and was now returning home for a day or two. 

Issy stopped short and gazed at her. He saw her meet and kiss herfather, and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom. He saw hernod and smile at acquaintances whom she passed. She approached, noticedhim, and--oh, rapture!--said laughingly, "Hello, Is. " Before he couldrecover his senses and remember to do more than grin she had disappearedaround the corner of the station. Therefore he did not see the young manwho stepped forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear. This youngman was Sam Bartlett, and, as a "city dude, " Issy loathed and hated him. 

No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett andGertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness of mundanethings. For an instant he stared after the vanished vision. Then hestepped blindly forward, tripped over something--"his off hind leg, " soCaptain Sol afterwards vowed--and fell sprawling, the express packagebeneath him. 

The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master. He broke awayfrom the conductor and ran toward his prostrate "assistant. " Pushingaside the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly helped theyoung man to rise. 

"What in time?" he demanded. 

Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it. 

"I--I'm afraid somethin's cracked, " he faltered. 

The crowd set up a whoop. Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger ofstrangling. 

"Cracked!" repeated Captain Sol. "Cracked!" he smiled, in spite ofhimself. "Yes, somethin's cracked. It's that head of yours, Issy. Here, let's see!"

He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it. 

"Smashed to thunder!" he declared. "Who's the lucky one it belongs to?Humph!" He read the inscription aloud, "Major Cuthbertson S. Hardee. TheMajor, hey! . . . Well, Is, you take the remains inside and you and I'llhold services over it later. "

"I--I didn't go to do it, " protested the frightened Issy. 

"Course you didn't. If you had you wouldn't. You're like the fellerin Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do and do themthat--All right, Jim! Let her go! Cast off!"

The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, andthe train moved onward. For another twelve hours East Harniss was leftmarooned by the outside world. 

Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office. Thitherwent the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate distribution. A short, fat little man lingered and, walking up to the depot master, extendedhis hand. 

"Hello, Sol!" he said, smiling. "Thought I'd stop long enough to say'Howdy, ' anyhow. "

"Why, Bailey Stitt!" cried the Captain. "How are you? Glad to see you. Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick parties for theOcean House, same kind of a job I used to have in Wellmouth. "

"I am, " replied Captain Stitt. "That is, I was. Just now I've run overhere to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and quahaugs for ourboarders. You never see such a gang to eat as them summer folks, in yourlife. Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' onthe mornin' train from Wellmouth. "

"You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where youstoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?"

"Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, PolenaGinn, is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on aheadto tell Polena to put the kettle on. Maybe Obed and I'll be back againafter I've had supper. "

"Do. I'll be round here for two or three hours yet. "

He entered the depot. Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a corner, holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was the onlyperson in the waiting room. 

"Come on now, Sol!" pleaded Sim. "I want to hear the rest of that aboutyou and Williams. You left off in the most ticklish place possible, out of spite, I do believe. I'm hangin' on to that boat in the breakersuntil I declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just from imagination. "

"Wait a minute, Sim, " said the depot master. Then he turned to hisassistant. 

"Issy, " he said, "this is about the nineteenth time you've done justthis sort of thing. You're no earthly use and I ought to give you yourclearance papers. But I can't, you're too--well--ornamental. You'vegot to be punished somehow and I guess the best way will be to send youright up to Major Hardee's and let you give him the remnants. He'llwant to know how it happened, and you tell him the truth. The TRUTH, understand? If you invent any fairy tales out of those novels of yoursI'll know it by and by and--well, YOU'LL know I know. No remarks, please. Git!"

Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took uppackage and cap, and "got. "

"Let's see, " said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station chairsand lighting a fresh cigar; "where was Williams and I in that yarn ofmine? Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was goin' to bump. Well, we did. Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was out of the question, and all I could do was set my teeth and trust in my bein' a memberof the church. The Shootin' Star hit that beach like she was the realarticle. Overboard went oar and canvas and grub pails, and everythingelse that wa'n't nailed down, includin' Fatty and me. I grabbed him bythe collar and wallowed ashore. 

"'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded. '

"I let him BE drownded, for the minute. I had the launch to think of, and somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the anchor upabove tide mark. Then I attended to my passenger. 

"'Where are we?' he asks. 

"I looked around. Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed andsand. A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and bayberry bushesthat looked sort of familiar. And back of them was a little board shantythat looked more familiar still. I rubbed the salt out of my eyes. 

"'WELL!' says I. 'I swan to man!'

"'What is it?' he says. 'Do you know where we are? Whose house is that?'

"I looked hard at the shanty. 

"'Humph!' I grunted. 'I do declare! Talk about a feller's comin' back tohis own. Whose shanty is that? Well, it's mine, if you want to know. The power that looks out for the lame and the lazy has hove us ashore onWoodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real estate I own. '

"It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true. WoodchuckIsland is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile fromshore and ten from the nighest town. I'd bought it and put up a shantyfor a gunnin' shack; took city gunners down there, once in a while, the fall before. That summer I'd leased it to a friend of mine, name ofDarius Baker, who used it while he was lobsterin'. The gale had drivenus straight in from sea, 'way past Sandy P'int and on to the island. 'Twas like hittin' a nail head in a board fence, but we'd done it. Showswhat Providence can do when it sets out. 

"I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand tothe shanty. 

"'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks. 

"'I'm afraid not, ' says I. 'The lobster season's about over, and he wasgoin' South on a yacht this week. Still, he wa'n't to go till Saturdayand perhaps--'

"But the shanty was empty when we got there. I fumbled around in the tinmatchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the wall. Then Iturned to Williams. 

"'Well, ' says I, 'we're lucky for once in--'

"Then I stopped. When he went overboard the water had washed offhis hat. Likewise it had washed off his long black hair--which was awig--and his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's eggout in a rain storm. "

"I knew he wore a wig, " interrupted Phinney. 

"Of course you do. Everybody does now. But he wa'n't such a prophet inIsrael then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't acquainted withhis personal beauties. 

"'What are you starin' at?' he asks. 

"I fetched a long breath. 'Nothin', ' says I. 'Nothin'. '

"But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind ofdaze, as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it. When a fellerhas been doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out the answer. And I'd done my puzzle. 

"I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore. "

"You did?" cried Simeon. 

"Um-hm. Wait a while. Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay bunks, pretty soon after that. He stripped to his underclothes and turned inunder the patchwork comforters. He was too beat out to want any supper, even if there'd been any in sight. I built a fire in the rusty cookstove and dried his duds and mine. Then I set down in the busted chairand begun to think. After a spell I got up and took account of stock, asyou might say, of the eatables in the shanty. Darius had carted off hisown grub and what there was on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin'season--a hunk of salt pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tinpail, some musty white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a littlesugar and salt, and a can of condensed milk. I took these things out ofthe locker they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprungthe padlock. Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my chairto do some more thinkin'. 

"Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was fryin'a couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'. Likewisethere was a pan of johnnycake in the oven. The wind had gone downconsider'ble, but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was a pleasin'state of things for yours truly. 

"Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open. 

"'Hurry up with that breakfast, ' he says to me. 'I'm hungry as a wolf. '

"I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'. He got intohis clothes and went outdoor. Pretty soon he comes back, cussin' theweather. 

"'See here, Mr. Williams, ' says I, 'how about them orders to yourhousekeeper? Are they straight? Won't she have you hunted up for aweek?'

"He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that shewouldn't. I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy. Shegive him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old Harry andher wages. She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was ordered to. She'd be only too glad to have him out of the way. 

"'Humph!' says I. 'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on thisgarden spot of creation until the week's up. '

"'What do you mean?' says he. 

"'Well, ' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it shouldrain gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a boatwithin hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the weather holdsbad. '

"He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the housekeeperfor her general stupidness and to me because I'd got him, so he said, into this scrape. I didn't say nothin'; set the table, with one plateand one cup and sasser and knife and fork, hauled up a chair and setdown to my breakfast. He hauled up a box and set down, too. 

"'Pass me that corn bread, ' says he. 'And why didn't you fry more pork?'

"He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his way. 

"'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams, ' says I. 'While you was snoozin' lastnight I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this shanty. 'Cordin' to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last one husky mana week, let along two husky ones. I paid consider'ble attention to yourpreachin' yesterday and the text seemed to be to look out for numberone. Now in this case I'm the one and I've got to look out for myself. This is my shanty, my island, and my grub. So please keep your hands offthat johnnycake. '

"For a minute or so he set still and stared at me. Didn't seem to sensethe situation, as you might say. Then the red biled up in his face andover his bald head like a Fundy tide. 

"'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts. 'Do you mean to starve me?'

"'You won't starve in a week, ' says I, helpin' myself to pork. 'A fellernamed Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty days on coldwater and nothin' else. There's the pump right over in the corner. It'smy pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not charge for it this time. '

"'You--you--' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad. 'Didn't Ihire you--'

"'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back, providedthe launch was made ready by YOU. It wa'n't ready, so THAT contract'sbusted. And you was to furnish your extrys and I was to furnish mine. Here they be and I need 'em. It's as legitimate a deal as ever I see;perfect case of supply and demand--supply for one and demand for two. AsI said afore, I'm the one. '

"'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you--'

"I stood up, too. He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry. Welooked each other over. 

"'I wouldn't, ' says I. 'You're under the doctor's care, you know. '

"So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and watched meeat my breakfast. And I ate it slow. 

"'Say, ' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't you. Well, I'm It, I guess, for this time. I suppose you'll have no objectionto SELLIN' me a breakfast?'

"'No--o, ' says I, 'not a mite of objection. I'll sell you a couple ofslices of pork for five dollars a slice and--'

"'FIVE DOLLARS a--!' His mouth dropped open like a main hatch. 

"'Sartin, ' I says. 'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a slab. And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup. And--'

"'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up. 

"'Not much, I ain't. I've been settin' at your feet larnin' highfinance, that's all. You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness ofthis deal. I've got the grub market cornered, that's all. The marketprice of necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely to rise atany time, but now it's five. '

"He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes. Then he got upand banged out of that shanty. A little later I see him down at the endof the sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a sail, I presumelikely. 

"I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes. He come in by and by. He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt air gives mostfolks an almighty appetite. 

"'Say, ' he says, 'I've been thinkin'. It's usual in the stock andprovision market to deal on a margin. Suppose I pay you a one per centmargin now and--'

"'All right, ' says I, cheerful. 'Then I'll give you a slip of papersayin' that you've bought such and such slices of pork and hunks ofjohnnycake and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin. Of course thereain't no delivery of the goods now because--'

"'Humph!' he interrupts, sour. 'You seem to know more'n I thought youdid. Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price or ain'tyou?'

"'Can't sell under the latest quotations, ' says I. 'That's five now; andspot cash. '

"'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me. ThinkI carry a national bank around in my clothes?'

"'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book, ' says I, 'because I see it inyour jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds. I'll take acheck. '

"He started to say somethin' and then stopped. After a spell he seemedto give in all to once. 

"'Very good, ' he says. 'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make out thecheck. '

"That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really, because headded another five for an extry cup of coffee. I told him to make thecheck payable to 'Bearer, ' as 'twas quicker to write than 'Solomon. '

"He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checksamountin' to ninety-five dollars. The fog stayed with us all the timeand nobody come to pick us up. And the next mornin's outlook was just asbad, bein' a drizzlin' rain and a high wind. The mainland beach was insight but that's all except salt water and rain. 

"He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horseand givin' up his meal checks without a whimper. If things had beendifferent from what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief. BEIN' as they was, I counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that daywithout a pinch of conscience. 

"This was a Wednesday. On Thursday, the third day of our RobinsonCrusoe business, the weather was still thick, though there was signs ofclearin'. Fatty come to me after breakfast--which cost him thirty-five, payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'--with almost a grin on his big face. 

"'Berry, ' he says, 'I owe you an apology. I thought you was a greenRube, like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they make 'em. Iain't the man to squeal when I get let in on a bad deal, and the chapwho can work me for a sucker is entitled to all he can make. But thispay-as-you-go business is too slow and troublesome. What'll you take forthe rest of the grub in the locker there, spot cash? Be white, and makea fair price. '

"I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him. 

"'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars, ' says I, prompt. 

"He done a little figgerin'. 'Well, allowin' that I have to put up onthis heap of desolation for the better part of four days more, that'scheap, accordin' to your former rates, ' he says. 'I'll go you. But whynot make it two fifty, even?'

"'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price, ' says I. So he handed overanother 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a week. 

"Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell. Me and Williams had a realpicnicky, sociable time. Livin' outdoor this way had made him forget hisdiseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein' ha'fway decent. Weloafed around and talked and dug clams to help out the pork--that is, Idug 'em and Fatty superintended. We see no less'n three sailin' craftgo by down the bay and tried our best to signal 'em, but they didn't payattention--thought we was gunners or somethin', I presume likely. 

"At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again. 

"'Sol, ' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a "margin"was. You didn't get that from anything I said. Where did you get it?'

"I leaned back on my box seat. 

"'Mr. Williams, ' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story, ifyou want to hear it. 'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but maybeit'll interest you. The start of it goes back to consider'ble many yearago, when I was poorer'n I be now, and a mighty sight younger. At thattime me and another feller, a partner of mine, had a fish weir out inthe bay here. The mackerel struck in and we done well, unusual well. At the end of the season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' andexpenses, we had a balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Bostonof five hundred dollars--two fifty apiece. My partner was goin' tobe married in the spring and was cal'latin' to use his share to buyfurniture for the new house with. So we decided we'd take a trip upto Boston and collect the money, stick it into some savin's bank where'twould draw interest until spring and then haul it out and use it. 'Twas about every cent we had in the world. 

"'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a safebank and started out to find it. But on the way my partner's hat blowedoff and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper inside of it, gotlost. So we see a sign on a buildin', along with a lot of others, thatkind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped into the buildin' and wentupstairs to ask the way again. 

"'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was akind of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was markin' upfiggers in chalk. A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us and, when we toldhim what we wanted, he asked us to set down. Then, afore we knowed italmost, we'd told him the whole story--about the five hundred and all. The feller said to hold on a spell and he'd go along with us and show uswhere the savin's bank was himself. 

"'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the board, under signs of "Pork" and "Wheat" and "Cotton" and such, and we'd hearhow so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and the like ofthat. After a while the nice man, who it turned out was one of thebosses of the concern, told us what it meant. Seemed there was a big"rise" in the market and them that bought now was bound to get richquick. Consequent we said we wished we could buy and get rich, too. Andthe smilin' chap says, "Let's go have some lunch. "'

"Williams laughed. 'Ho, ho!' says he. 'Expensive lunch, was it?'

"'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with, ' I says. 'Costme and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch did. Westayed in Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the second day wewas on our way back totin' a couple of neat but expensive slips of papersignifyin' that we'd bought December and May wheat on a one per centmargin. We was a hundred ahead already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, andwas figgerin' what sort of palaces we'd build when we cashed in. '

"'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains. 'Twas a simplefuneral and nobody sent flowers. Inside of a month we was cleanedout and the wheat place had gone out of business--failed, busted, youunderstand. Our fish dealer friend asked some questions, and found outthe shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's at all. 'Twas what they calla "bucket shop, " and we'd bought nothin' but air, and paid a commissionfor buyin' it. And the smilin', nice man that run the swindle had beenhangin' on the edge of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'. Our five hundred had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that'sall. '

"'Hold on a minute, ' says Fatty, lookin' more interested. 'What was thename of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'

"''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange, ' says I. 'And 'twason Derbyshire Street. '

"He give a little jump. Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m! I--see. '

"'Yes, ' says I. 'I thought you would. You had a mustache then and yourname was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same. When yourfalse hair got washed off I knew you right away. '

"He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a littlefiggerin'. 

"'Humph!' he says, again. 'You lost five hundred and I've paid you fivehundred and five. What's the five for?'

"'That's my commission on the sales, ' I says. 

"And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty. Out we boltedand there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat. Williams's housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her orders bya couple of days. 

"Williams and Sam started for home right off. I followed in the Shootin'Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run. I reached the dockha'f an hour after they did, and there was Fatty waitin' for me. 

"'Berry, ' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you. I ain'tkickin' at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to. Turn about's fairplay, if you can call the turn. But it's against my principles to allowanybody to beat me on a business deal. Do you suppose, ' he says, 'thatI'd have paid your robber's prices without a word if I hadn't hadsomethin' up my sleeve? Why, man, ' says he, 'I gave you my CHECKS, notcash. And I've just telephoned to the Wellmouth Bank to stop paymenton those checks. They're no earthly use to you; see? There's one or twothings about high finance that you don't know even yet. Ho, ho!'

"And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed. 

"I held up my hand. 'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams, ' says I. 'I guess thesechecks are all right. When we fust landed on Woodchuck, I judged by thelooks of the shanty that Baker hadn't left it for good. I cal'latedhe'd be back. And sure enough he come back, in his catboat, on Thursdayevenin', after you'd turned in. Them checks was payable to "Bearer, "you remember, so I give 'em to him. He was to cash 'em in the fust thingFriday mornin', and I guess you'll find he's done it. '"

"Well, I swan to MAN!" interrupted the astonished and delighted Phinney. "So you had him after all! And I was scart you'd lost every cent. "

Captain Sol chuckled. "Yes, " he went on, "I had him, and his eyes andmouth opened together. 

"'WHAT?' he bellers. 'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at thatdummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'

"'Oh, ' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not afterI told him who you was. You see, Mr. Williams, ' I says, 'Darius Bakerwas my partner in that wheat speculation I was tellin' you about. '"

The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone out. His friend pounded the settee ecstatically. 

"There!" he cried. "I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so strange tome. When was you and him in partners, Sol?"

"Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and aforemother died. You wouldn't remember much about it. Mother and I waslivin' in Trumet then and our house here was shut up. I was only a kid, or not much more, and Williams was young, too. "

"And that's the way he made his money! HIM! Why, he's the most respectedman in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and--"

"Yes. Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected--bysome kinds of people--and find some church that'll take you in. Ain'tthat so, Bailey?"

Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were standingin the doorway of the station. They now entered. 

"I guess it's so, " replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, "though I don'tknow what you was talkin' about. However, it's a pretty average safe betthat what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time. What's the special 'so, 'this time?"

"We was talkin' about Mr. Williams, " began Phinney. 

"The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss, " broke in the depot master. "EastHarniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like consider'ble manyblessin's he ain't entirely unmixed. "

Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his chairlike a good-natured rubber ball. "Ho! ho!" he chuckled, "you don'tsurprise me, Sol. We had a great man over to South Orham three years agoand he begun by blessin's and ended with--with t'other thing. Ho! ho!"

"What do you mean?" demanded Sim. 

"Why, I mean Stingy Gabe. You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?"

"I guess we've all heard somethin' about him, " laughed Captain Sol; "butwe're willin' to hear more. He was a reformer, wa'n't he?"

"He sartin was! Ho! ho!"

"For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey, " demanded Mr. Gott impatiently. "Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin' purple in the face. Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in. "

"Oh, it's a great, long--" began Captain Bailey protestingly. 

"Go on, " urged Phinney. "We've got more time than anything else, themost of us. Who was this Stingy Gabe?"

"Yes, " urged Gott, "and what did he reform?"

Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand. "It's all of a piece, " heinterrupted. "It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew. And, as usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know what wascomin' to him. 

"Stingy Gabe was that feller. His Sunday name was Gabriel AtkinsonHolway, and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and back. The old man was christened Gabriel, likewise. He owed 'most everybody, and, besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and trimmin's of thefish he sold to make chowder for himself and family. All hands calledhim 'Stingy Gabe, ' and the boy inherited the name along with thefifteen hundred dollars that the old man left when he died. He clearedout--young Gabe did--soon as the will was settled and afore theoutstandin' debts was, and nobody in this latitude see hide nor hair ofhim till three years ago this comin' spring. 

"Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orhamstation and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-windowed, sufferin' from pomp and prosperity. Seems he'd been spendin' his lifecornerin' copper out West and then copperin' the corners in Wall Street. The folks in his State couldn't put him in jail, so they sent him toCongress. Now, as the Honorable Atkinson Holway, he'd come back to theCape to rest his wrist, which had writer's cramp from signin' stockcertificates, and to ease his eyes with a sight of the dear old home ofhis boyhood. 

"Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news. 

"'Bailey, ' says he, 'what do you think's happened? Stingy Gabe's struckthe town. '

"'For how much?' I asks, anxious. 'Don't let him have it, whatever'tis. '

"Then he went on to explain. Gabe was rich as all get out, and 'twashis intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up for a summerhome. He was delighted to find how little change there was in SouthOrham. 

"'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the s'lectmendon't watch him, ' I says; and the bills, too. I know HIS tribe. '

"'You don't understand, ' says Nickerson. 'He ain't no thief. He's rich, I tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good. '

"'Course he is, ' I says. 'It runs in the family. His dad done it good, too--good as 'twas ever done, I guess. '

"But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that I'dmade a mistake in my reckonin'. The Honorable Atkinson Holway wa'n'tfiggerin' to borrow nothin'. When a chap has been skinnin' halibut, minnows are too small for him to bother with. Gabe was full of friedclams and philanthropy. 

"'By Jove! Stitt, ' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my life. '

"'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I. 'I wish I could. '

"'I tell you, ' he says, 'this little old village is all right! All itneeds is a public-spirited resident to help it along. I propose to bethe P. S. R. '

"And on that program he started right in. Fust off he bought his dad'sold place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's there now, fetched down a small army of servants skippered by an old housekeeper, and commenced to live simple but complicated. Then, havin' providedthe needful charity for himself, he's ready to scatter manna for thestarvin' native. 

"He had a dozen schemes laid out. One was to build a free but expensivelibrary; another was to pave the main road with brick; third was to givestained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the meetin' house, so'sthe congregation could sleep comfortable in a subdued light. Thestained-glass idee put him in close touch with the minister, ReverendEdwin Fisher, and the minister suggested the men's club. And he took tothat men's club scheme like an old maid to strong tea; the rest of theimprovements went into dry dock to refit while Admiral Gabe got hismen's club off the ways. 

"'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's club. That billiard room was the worry of his life. Old man Jotham Gale runit and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way of speakin'. Youremember his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale. Billiard, Pool, and SipioSaloon. Cigars and Tobacco. Tonics and Pipes. Minors under Ten Years ofAge not Admitted. ' Jotham's customers was called, by the outsiders, 'thebilliard-room gang. '

"The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own right upto that. Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked. Jotham never sold rum, and he'd never allow no rows in his place. But, just the same, hissaloon was reckoned a bad influence. Young men hadn't ought to gothere--most of us said that. If there was a nicer place TO go, arguesthe minister, 'twould help the moral tone of the community consider'ble. 'Why not, ' says he to Stingy Gabe, 'start a free club for men that'llmake the billiard room look like the tail boat in a race?' And saysGabe: 'Bully! I'll do it. '"

Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself. Before he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps wereheard on the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold. He waswithout the package, but did not look happy. 

"Well, Is, " inquired the depot master, "did you give the remains to theMajor?"

"Yes, sir, " answered Issy. 

"Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened? How the thing gotbroken?"

"Yes, sir, I told him. "

"What did he say? Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?"

"No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'. He didn't get mad neither. Butyou could see he felt pretty bad. Talked about 'old family glass' and'priceless airloons' or some such. Said much as he regretted to, heshould feel it no more'n justice to have somebody pay damages. "

"Humph!" Captain Sol looked very grave. "Issy, I can see your finish. You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how are you goin'to do that? 'Old family glass, ' hey? Hum! And I thought I saw the labelof a Boston store on that package. "

Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly. 

"Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?" he asked. 

"Yes, sir. He's the only Major we've got. Cap'ns are plenty as Junebugs, but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce. Why?"

"Oh, nothin'. Only--" Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the sentenceunder his breath. However, the depot master heard it and his eyetwinkled. 

"You're glad of it!" he exclaimed. "Why, Obed! Major Cuthbertson ScottHardee! I'm surprised. Better not let the women folks hear you saythat. "

"Look here!" cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, "am I goin' to finishthat yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?"

"BEG your pardon, Bailey. Go on. The last thing you said was what StingyGabe said, and that was--"

CHAPTER III

"STINGY GABE"

"And that, " said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest ofhis listeners, "was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'

"So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house. Aboutevery respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of thebilliard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n'tinvited. 

"Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin'about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, HonorableAtkinson Holway, ' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up, and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas tobelong to the members to do what they pleased with--no strings tied toit at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some suchmatter. Now, who favored such a club as that?

"Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justiceof the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he madea talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, whois postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives, ' had been fidgetin'in his seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every'Progressive' jines immediate. But the billiard-roomers; they didn'tjine. They looked sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begunto hint p'inted in their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. Andright then I'd ought to have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold inmy head, I guess likely. 

"Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammerand tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, andinside of three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now Itell you. There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusementroom. ' The amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and thelike of that. Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you couldplay the pianner and sing--till the sufferin' got acute and somebodycome along and abated you. 

"When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be'Good-by, Bill, ' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty oldshanty for sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if Ididn't feel sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop aroundand sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham'spretty good company. 

"I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple ofpatients cruelize the pool table. 

"'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid ofcatchin' somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow. And acigar, won't you?'

"I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' hadexperience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled. 

"'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment, ' he says. 'Terbacker does smoke better'n anything else, don't it. '

"We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped. 

"'What's up?' says I. 

"'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that'sall. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart. Well, Bailey, 'he adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'

"'Why, yes, ' I says; ''tis. '

"'Finest ever I see, ' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there. '

"'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'

"'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is--'speciallythe free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would. '

"I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'

"He nodded. 'Yup, ' says he. 'I told him. '

"I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked. 

"'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up myhead and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his clubknocked out t'other. '

"I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it. 

"'Jotham, ' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham, even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here andstart somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town. '

"He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Thenhe laid his hand on my sleeve. 

"'Bailey, ' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe wasall for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patentmedicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some ofthe patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went homefor the night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally theygot so busy fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' nobetter fast, and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', andgot the pay. '

"'Well, ' says I, 'what of it?'

"'Nothin', ' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. Solong. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable elementcan't see you. '

"I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and saysI:

"'Mr. Holway, ' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect theofficers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressivesresign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. Asfor the billiard-roomers--providin' any jine--they've never been knownto vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet--nothin'but fog. '

"He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right, ' says he. 'Fisher and Ihave planned that. You watch!'

"Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twasout that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all handswas satisfied. Two vice presidents was named--one bein' Bassett andt'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a headProgressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms. ONLY none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish wewas really tryin' for. 

"'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'dhave on all kinds of bait--suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights, and the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'. 

"The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town. Our Cape winterweather was what fixed him. He stood the no'theasters and Scotchdrizzles till January, and then he heads for Key West and comfort. Said his heart still beat warm for his native village, but his feet wasfroze--or words similar. He cal'lated to be back in the spring. Thenthe Reverend Fisher got a call to somewheres in York State, and felthe couldn't afford not to hear it. Nobody blamed him; the salary paida minister in South Orham is enough to make any feller buy patent eardrums. But that left our men's club without either skipper or pilot, asyou might say. 

"One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual onme. He was passin' around smoking material lavish and regardless. 

"'Stitt, ' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our localaffairs, haven't you?'

"'Well, ' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a newmortgage, if that's what you mean. '

"'Exactly, ' he says. 'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the successwe hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our community. It needsfor its president a conservative, thoughtful man. Bailey, ' he says, 'ithas come to my ears that Gaius Ellis intends to run for that office. Youknow him. As a taxpayer, as a sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge risesat such insolence. I protest, sir! I protest against--'

"He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had histown-meetin' voice iled and runnin'. I was too busy to hanker for astump speech, so I cut across his bows. 

"'All right, all right, ' says I. 'I'll vote for you, Dan. '

"He fetched a long breath. 'Thank you, ' says he. 'Thank you. That makesten. Ellis can count on no more than nine. My election is assured. '

"Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to theclub meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as if he'dget in. But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but send a wagonafter old man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked with rheumatizfor three months, and Sol's vote evened her up. 'Twas ten to ten, adeadlock, and the election was postponed for another week. 

"This was of a Tuesday. On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap whowas playin' pool at Jotham's. 

"'Hey, Bailey!' says he. 'Shake hands with a brother. I'm goin' to jinethe men's club. '

"'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomerfrom 'way back. 

"'Yup, ' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin'up on parchesi now. '

"'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'

"'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see thefires of Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred andConservative born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone. By, by. See you Tuesday night. '

"He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And onThursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'dborrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over thefust shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to askquestions. 

"'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know. 

"'No, ' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a betterman. I'm jinin' the men's club. '

"'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije. 

"'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole andprogressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'. '

"And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmedmembers of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twasa hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proudGabe and Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true. But Bassett and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin'took place I understood the reason. Them new members had divided even, and the ballots stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie wasstill on and the election was put off for another week. 

"In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seena light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other forEllis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of hisreg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease insideof the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool, and Sipio Saloon, ' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now thedeadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesomeamong his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness ofthe transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But theconversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though Idid have some suspicions. 

"'Look here, Dan, ' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this uptill judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place--exceptthe chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is foryou and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference everI see. We'll never have a president, at this rate. '

"He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make itthirty-one. '

"'I don't see how, ' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club butJotham himself, and he--'

"'That's all right, ' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand nextTuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen. '

"I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, infact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened, and in walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was theHonorable Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway. 

"'Gentlemen, ' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose threecheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence. '

"We give the cheers--that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and ourgang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'ema counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundestProgressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back againand which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now. 

"Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr. Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservativeswa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermonabout bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order. 

"'If there's no other business afore the meetin', ' says he, 'we willproceed to ballot for president. '

"But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to hisfeet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to. 

"Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway'sphilanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens. Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its wayinto the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregeneratehad regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and theHonorable Atkinson. 

"'But, ' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. Onelone man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen, a repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business--abusiness wrecked by us, gentlemen--without a customer, without a friend. Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South Orhamturned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he was?Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is friendless, he no longer has a means of livelihood--we have taken it from him. Wehave turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we not turnhis, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he feelshis ostrichism'--whatever he meant by that--'he desires to becomeself-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join thisclub. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name ofJotham W. Gale. '

"He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose wassomethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was. This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen. 

"Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twasan outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabedidn't know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservativeseconds Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan'sspeech had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy. How did I vote? I'LL never tell you. 

"And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it, and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turnedout. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codgermore'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, bythe club that had kicked him out of his own shop. 

"Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on. But Ellis jumps up, and says he:

"'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lostlamb we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleatthat he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all thecontemptible tricks that ever--'

"Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist inGaius's face and yells opinions and comments. 

"'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers. 'Why did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was thetrickiest trick that I--'

"Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'. 

"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down, if you PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association isconsidered, it seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief ofour former antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one ofus. Mr. Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself. I shall adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen. Meanwhile, let us remember that we ARE gentlemen. '

"He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignifiedas Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' atonce. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints aboutwhat would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore Igot to bed that night, and Sarah J. --that's Mrs. Stitt--kept me awakeanother hour explainin' whys and wherefores. 

"For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work andtalk club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post officeand camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaiuswas hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. OnThursday there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmereddown to one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on thestreet and ask for my bearin's. 

"'Mr. Holway, ' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned andagreed to vote for somebody else?'

"He nodded, grand and complacent. 

"'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It'sas big a miracle as the prodigal son. '

"I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excitedthen. 

"'Stitt, ' says he, 'I am the "somebody, " as you call it. I have decidedto let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair, and to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced atthe meetin'. '

"I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, andI give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full ofbreakers. Did you think of it yourself?'

"He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly, ' he says. 'The fact is, the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale. '

"'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished. 

"'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, forone, would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant, a changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future. '

"So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'dexpect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins, Bassett's right-hand man. 

"'Bailey, ' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Danthrough thick and thin?'

"'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, andit's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him. '

"'HE has, ' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. Wepledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back onour word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lartribe. That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own. '

"'Make seventeen, you mean, ' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen andDan's sixteen and Gabe's seven--'

"He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy, 'says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang. Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet, for Bassett. Then--'

"A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he wenthe got me to one side and whispers:

"'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holwaythat we can't be led around by the nose. '

"'Tompkins, ' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that itdidn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiardroomers? Who put you up to this?'

"He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in thistown, ' says he, 'and the oldest--J. W. Gale, Esq. ! S-s-sh-h! Don't saynothin'. '

"I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went pastthe billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but GaiusEllis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had. 

"Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and mostof 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. Therewas whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chairand makes announcements that the shebang is open for business. 

"Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made uphis mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron ofthe club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thickas sugar on a youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applaudedlike fury. But I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative buthimself. 

"Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' forhimself, too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, GabrielAtkinson Holway, Esq. More applause and hurrahs. 

"And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like ahas-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilegeto cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride. Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nighbroke the winders. 

"Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. Hefairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agonywas over, he says the votin' can begin. 

"I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but theydidn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils gotbusy. Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, fortwo--and the third, Jotham Gale. 

"'As a compliment to our newest member, ' says the chairman, smilin'philanthropic. 

"When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusementroom to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives andProgressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Fiveminutes, then ten, then fifteen. 

"And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement roomthat ever you heard. Rattlety--bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open, and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of therest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove ateach other was enough to bring down a judgment. 

"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I amastounded! I--'

"'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan. 

"'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him. 

"'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Willsome one explain why these maniacs are--Ah, Mr. Gale--thank goodness, YOU at least are sane!'

"Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and aslip of paper with the result set down on it. 

"'Ladies and feller members, ' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated theywould, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all. '

"The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow, and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:

"'Never mind, Mr. Gale, ' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too muchto expect. Go on. '

"'Yes, ' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it toyou. '

"He fixes his specs and reads like this:

"'Number of votes cast, 32. '

"'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4. '

"'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair. 

"'Yes, sir, ' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobodyvoted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. Toproceed:

"'Daniel Bassett has 9. '

"The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud. Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand. 

"'Just a moment, D'rius, ' he says. 'I ain't through yet. '

"'Gaius Ellis has 9. '

"Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub wasgettin' louder all the time. 

"'There's ten votes left, ' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the nameof Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'melected president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for thehonor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected. '

"Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at eachother. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for thenew president. 

"Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did, though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock. 

"I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'. Jotham had worked it all, from the very fust. When the tie business begun and Gaius and Dan wasbribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him that fixed howthey should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'. 'Twas him that putBassett up to proposin' him as a member. 'Twas him that suggested Gabe'scomin' back to Gaius. 'Twas him that--But what's the use? 'Twas him allalong. He was IT. 

"That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in theirresignation to that club. We refused to be bossed by such people. Gaberesigned, too. He was disgusted with East Harniss and all hands in it. He'd have took back the clubhouse, but he couldn't, as the deed of giftwas free and clear. But he swore he'd never give it another cent. 

"Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't beself-supportin', but Jotham had different idees. He simply moved hispool tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got the finestplace of the kind on the Cape, rent free. 

"'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I, Bailey?' hesays, chucklin'. 

"'Jotham, ' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder. '

"'Well, ' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from acutepolitics. I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time. The troublewith you reformers, ' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it comes topolitical doin's, you ain't practical. '

"As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New York. Said he was through with helpin' the moral tone. 

"'When I die, ' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start inreformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twillbe enough sight easier job. '

"And, " concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the"Haw! haws!" caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of hisnative town, "I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do youthink, Sol?"

The depot master shook his head. "Don't know, Bailey, " he answered, dryly. "I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an opinion. I HAVEbeen to South Orham, but the neighborhood that your friend Gabe comparedit to I ain't seen--yet. I put on that 'yet, '" he added, with a wink, "'cause I knew Sim Phinney would if I didn't. "

Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand. 

"I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in, " he said. "I'm sleepy asa minister's horse tonight. You don't mind, do you, Obed?"

"No-o, " replied Mr. Gott, slowly. "No, I don't, 'special. I kind ofthought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the otherfellers. But it ain't important--not very. "

The "club" was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and postoffice. It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables fromits members' garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was afavorite gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to "set uplate"--that is, until eleven o'clock. Most of the men in town belonged, but many, Captain Berry among them, visited the room but seldom. 

"Checkers, " said the depot master, referring to the "club's" favoritegame, "is too deliberately excitin' for me. To watch Beriah Higgins andEzra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is like gettin' your feetfroze in January and waitin' for spring to come and thaw 'em out. It's anumbin' kind of dissipation. "

But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the "club, " and to-night hehad a particular reason for wishing to be there. His cousin noticed hishesitation and made haste to relieve his mind. 

"That's all right, Obed, " he said, "go to the club, by all means. Iain't such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to bedwithout help. Good-night, Sim. Good-night, Issy. Cheer up; maybe theMajor's glassware IS priceless. So long, Cap'n Sol. See you again sometime tomorrer. "

He and Mr. Gott departed. The depot master rose from his chair. "Issy, "he commanded, "shut up shop. "

Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door. CaptainSol himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till into the smallsafe. 

"That'll do, Is, " said the Captain. "Good-night. Don't worry too muchover the Major's glass. I'll talk with him, myself. You dream aboutpleasanter things--your girl, if you've got one. "

That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart. Even duringhis melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the vision of GertieHiggins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes. His freckles wereengulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a stammered "Night, Cap'nBerry, " he hurried out into the moonlight. 

The depot master blew out the lamps. "Come on, Sim, " he said, briefly. "Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?"

"Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind. I'd just as soonget home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams movin'job. "

They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the "general store, " whereMr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment to the"club" overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street, turned and beganclimbing the hill. Simeon spoke several times but his friend did notanswer. A sudden change had come over him. The good spirits with whichhe told of his adventure with Williams and which had remained duringPhinney's stay at the depot, were gone, apparently. His face, in themoonlight, was grave and he strode on, his hands in his pockets. 

At the crest of the hill he stopped. 

"Good-night, Sim, " he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off. 

The building mover gazed after him in surprise. The nearest way to theBerry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of thehill, to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an eighth ofa mile. The Captain's usual course was just that. But to-night he hadtaken the long route, the Hill Boulevard, which made a wide curve beforeit descended to the road below. 

Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence andevident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering. OliveEdwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the Boulevard. Shewas in trouble and the Captain knew it. He had asked, that very evening, what she was going to do when forced to move. Phinney could not tellhim. Had he gone to find out for himself? Was the mountain at lastcoming to Mohammed?

For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and surmising. Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the Boulevard. Hepassed the Williams mansion, its library windows ablaze. He passedthe twenty-five room "cottage" of the gentleman from Chicago. Thenhe halted. Opposite him was the little Edwards dwelling and shop. Thecurtains were up and there was a lamp burning on the small counter. Beside the lamp, in a rocking chair, sat Olive Edwards, the widow, sewing. As he gazed she dropped the sewing in her lap, and raised herhead. 

Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked. And yet, how young, consideringher forty years and all she had endured and must endure. She put herhand over her eyes, then removed it wearily. A lump came in Simeon'sthroat. If he might only help her; if SOME ONE might help her in herlonely misery. 

And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago gentleman'shedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet farther on. It was Captain Solomon Berry. He walked to the middle of the roadand halted, looking in at Olive. Phinney's heart gave a jump. Was theCaptain going into that house, going to HER, after all these years? WASthe mountain--

But no. For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at thewoman by the lamp. Then he jammed his hands into his pockets, wheeled, and tramped rapidly off toward his home. Simeon Phinney went home, also, but it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to figure the cost ofmoving the Williams "pure Colonial" to its destined location. 

CHAPTER IV

THE MAJOR

The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only oneswhose souls were troubled that evening. Obed Gott, as he stood at thefoot of the stairs leading to the meeting place of the "club, " was vexedand worried. His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone into the house and upto his room, and Obed, after seeing him safely on his way, had returnedto the club. But, instead of entering immediately, he stood in theHiggins doorway, thinking, and frowning as he thought. And the subjectof his thought was the idol of feminine East Harniss, the "old-schoolgentleman, " Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee. 

The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March--came, and created an immediate sensation. "Redny" Blount, who drives the"depot wagon, " was wrestling with a sample trunk belonging to thetraveling representative of Messrs. Braid & Gimp, of Boston, when heheard a voice--and such a voice--saying:

"Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?"

Now "Redny" was not used to being addressed as "my dear sir. " He turnedwonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing beside him. "Redny's" gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the frock coat tightlybuttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long enough to touchthe collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping white mustache andimperial; the old-fashioned stock and open collar; the black and whitechecked trousers; the gaiters; and, last of all, the flat brimmed, carefully brushed, old-fashioned silk hat. Mr. Blount gasped. 

"Huh?" he said. 

"Pardon me, my dear sir, " repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly, andwith an air of--well, not condescension, but gracious familiarity. "Willyou be so extremely kind as to inform me concerning the most directroute to the hotel or boarding house?"

The word "hotel" was the only part of this speech that struck home to"Redny's" awed mind. 

"Hotel?" he repeated, slowly. "Why, yes, sir. I'm goin' right that way. If you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there in ten minutes. "

There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it wasdelivered, to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary courseof events, with matter for gossip and discussion for a week. Mr. Blounthad not addressed a person as "sir" since he went to school. But noone thought of this; all were too much overcome by the splendor of theMajor's presence. 

"Thank you, " replied the Major. "Thank you. I am obliged to you, sir. Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's conveyance. "

Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle shabbyas to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility, like areflected luster, pervading his person. He bowed low, departed, andreturned dragging a large, old style trunk, and carrying a plump valise. 

"Augustus, " said the Major, "you may sit upon the seat with the driver. That is, " he added, courteously, "if Mr. --Mr. --"

"Blount, " prompted the gratified "Redny. "

"If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so. "

"Why, sartin. Jump right up. Giddap, you!"

There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the"depot wagon" that morning. This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn, who hadbeen to Brockton on a visit. To Mrs. Polena the Major, raising his hatin a manner that no native of East Harniss could acquire by a lifetimeof teaching, observed that it was a beautiful morning. The flusteredwidow replied that it "was so. " This was the beginning of a conversationthat lasted until the "Central House" was reached, a conversation thatleft Polena impressed with the idea that her new acquaintance was asnear the pink of perfection as mortal could be. 

"It wa'n't his clothes, nuther, " she told her brother, Obed Gott, asthey sat at the dinner table. "I don't know what 'twas, but you couldjest see that he was a gentleman all over. I wouldn't wonder if he wasone of them New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams--but SO different. 'Redny' Blount says he see his name onto the hotel register and 'twas'Cuthbertson Scott Hardee. ' Ain't that a tony name for you? And hisdarky man called him 'Major. ' I never see sech manners on a livin' soul!Obed, I DO wish you'd stop eatin' pie with a knife. "

Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardeemake his first appearance in East Harniss, and the reputation spreadabroad by Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed as other prominentcitizens met him, and fell under the spell. In two short weeks hewas the most popular and respected man in the village. The Methodistminister said, at the Thursday evening sociable, that "Major Hardee isa true type of the old-school gentleman, " whereupon Beriah Higgins, whowas running for selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interestedin all educational matters, asked whereabouts that school was located, and who was teaching it now. 

It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the postoffice every pleasant spring morning. Coat buttoned tight, silk hat theveriest trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate carried withthe cane in the other hand, and the buttonhole bouquet--always thebouquet--as fresh and bright and jaunty as its wearer himself. 

It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be situatedalong that portion of the main road had business in the front yard atthe time of the Major's passing. There were steps to be swept, or rugsto be shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at that particular time. Dialogues like the following interrupted the triumphal progress at threeminute intervals:

"Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry. GOOD-morning. A delightful morning. Busyas the proverbial bee once more, I see. I can never cease to admire theindustry and model neatness of the Massachusetts housekeeper. And how isyour charming daughter this morning? Better, I trust?"

"Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know. Abbie ain't so well's I wish shewas. She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says she ain't gittin'along the way she'd ought to. I says to him, s'I, 'Abbie ain't neverwhat you'd call a reel hearty eater, but, my land! when she don't eatNOTHIN', ' I says--"

And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen, alwayssympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous. 

The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one atthat, closed its doors on April 10th. Mr. Godfrey, its proprietor, had come to the country for his health. He had been inveigled, by anadvertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the Central House at EastHarniss. It would afford him, so he reasoned, light employment and aliving. The employment was light enough, but the living was lighter. Hekept the Central House for a year. Then he gave it up as a bad job andreturned to the city. "I might keep my health if I stayed, " he admitted, in explaining his position to Captain Berry, "but if I want to keepto what little money I have left, I'd better go. Might as well die ofdisease as starvation. "

Everyone expected that the "gentleman of the old school" would go also, but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is "real estate, fire andlife insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let and for sale, "rushed into the post office to announce that the Major had leased the"Gorham place, " furnished, and intended to make East Harniss his home. 

"He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always, " explainedAbner. "Says he's been all 'round the world, but he never see a place heliked so well's he does East Harniss. How's that for high, hey? And youcallin' it a one-horse town, Obed Gott!"

The Major moved into the "Gorham place" the next morning. It--the"place"--was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr. Williams' "Boulevard. " It had been one of the finest mansions in townonce on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain ElijahGorham died. Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the hotel tothe house. This was done very early and none of the natives saw thetransfer. There was some speculation as to how the darky managed tocarry the big trunk single-handed; one of two persons asked Augustusthis very question, but they received no satisfactory answer. Augustuswas habitually close-mouthed. Mr. Godfrey left town that same morning onthe first train. 

The Major christened his new home "Silver-leaf Hall, " because of twogreat "silver-leaf" trees that stood by the front door. He had somerepairing, paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big stock ofgroceries from the local dealer, and showed by his every action thathis stay in East Harniss was to be a lengthy one. He hired a pew in theMethodist church, and joined the "club. " Augustus did the marketing for"Silver-leaf Hall, " and had evidently been promoted to the position ofhousekeeper. 

The Major moved in April. It was now the third week in June andhis popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever. On thisparticular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected arrival, Obed had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room after supper, going over the account books of his paint, paper, and oil store. Hissister, Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the kitchen. 

"Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?" she called from her post bythe sink. 

"Nothin', " said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of notepaper and jamming it into his pocket. 

"My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night. What's the matter?Anything gone wrong at the store?"

"No. "

Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes. Then Polena said:

"Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can seethat picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with? Everybodysays it's just lovely. Sarah T. Says it's perfectly elegant, only notquite so handsome as the Major reelly is. She says it don't flatter himnone. "

"Humph! Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way youwomen folks go on 'bout him. How do you know but what he might be areg'lar fraud? Looks ain't everything. "

"Well, I never! Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of yourself, talkin' that way. I shan't speak another word to you to-night. I neversee you act so unlikely. An old fraud! The idea! That grand, noble man!"

Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his sisterwouldn't listen to it. Polena's dignity was touched. She was a woman ofconsequence in East Harniss, was Polena. Her husband had, at his death, left her ten thousand dollars in her own right, and she owned bondsand had money in the Wellmouth Bank. Nobody, not even her brother, wasallowed to talk to her in that fashion. 

To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister. He hadbeen throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building anaddition to the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look upona portion of Polena's ten thousand. The lady had not promised to extendthe financial aid, but she had gone so far as to say she would thinkabout it. So Obed regretted his insinuations against the Major'sintegrity. 

After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest ofdrawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going overto the depot for a "spell. " Polena did not deign to reply, so, afterrepeating the observation, he went out and slammed the door. 

Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he wasdebating what he should do in a certain matter. That matter concernedMajor Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate one. At lengthMr. Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the clubroom. It was bluewith tobacco smoke. 

The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on withtheir games of checkers or "seven-up. " He attempted a game of checkersand lost, which did not tend to make his temper any sweeter. His illnature was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who suffered from dyspepsiaand consequent ill temper, finally commented upon it. 

"What's the matter with you, Obed?" he asked tartly. "Too much ofP'lena's mince pie?"

"No, " grunted Mr. Gott shortly. 

"What is it, then? Ain't paint sellin' well?"

"Sellin' well 'nough. I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-morrow, more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for it, that wouldbe another story. If folks would pay their bills there wouldn't be notrouble. "

"Who's stuck you now?"

"I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don'tpay up. I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with. It don't makeno diff'rence if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he ought toremember that we ain't all rich like him and--"

A general movement among all the club members interrupted him. Thechecker players left their boards and came over; the "seven-up" devoteesdropped their cards and joined the circle. 

"What was that you said?" asked Higgins, uneasily. "The Major owin' youmoney, was it?"

"Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that, "protested Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive. "But that ain'tit. What's a feller goin' to do when he needs the money and gets aletter like that?"

He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw iton the table. Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as follows:

SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th. 

MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication ofrecent date. I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready money herein East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at interest in thefinancial institutions of the cities. Another rule of mine, peculiar, I dare say--even eccentric, if you like--is never to pay by check. I amexpecting remittances from my attorneys, however, and will then bear youin mind. Again thanking you for your courtesy, and begging you to extendto your sister my kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir, Yours very respectfully, CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE. 

P. S. --I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining yoursister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date agreeable to you. Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at your earliest convenience. I must insist upon this privilege, so do not disappoint me, I beg. 

The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar. Mr. Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own pocket. Sodid Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods dealer; "Hen"Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; "Bash" Taylor, the milkman, andthree or four others. And, wonder of wonders, each produced a sheet ofnote paper exactly like Obed's. 

They spread them out on the table. The dates were, of course, different, and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the main they wereexactly alike. And each one of them ended with an invitation to dinner. 

The members of the club looked at each other in amazement. Higgins wasthe first to speak. 

"Godfrey mighty!" he exclaimed. "Say, this is funny, ain't it? It'smore'n funny; it's queer! By jimmy, it's more'n that--it's serious! Lookhere, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that the Major's paid foranything any time?"

They waited. No one spoke. Then, with one impulse, every face swungabout and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-sizephotograph of the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed. Ithad been presented to the club two months before by Cuthbertson ScottHardee, himself. 

"Ike--Ike Peters, " said Higgins. "Say, Ike--has he ever paid you forhavin' that took?"

Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and thenstammered, "Why, no, he ain't, yet. "

"Humph!" grunted Higgins. No one else said anything. One or two tookout pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered therein. Judging by their faces the results of these calculations were notpleasing. Obed was the first to break the painful silence:

"Well!" he exclaimed, sarcastically; "ain't nobody got nothin' to say?If they ain't, I have. Or, at any rate, I've got somethin' to do. " Andhe rose and started to put on his coat. 

"Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!" cried Higgins. "Where are yougoin'?"

"I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection, and I'mgoin' to do it tonight, too. "

He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him. 

"Don't be a fool, Obed, " said Higgins. "Don't go off ha'f cocked. Maybewe're gittin' scared about nothin'. We don't know but we'll get everycent that's owed us. "

"Don't KNOW! Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out. What makes meb'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we never sawafore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about, run up billsand RUN 'em up. How we come to be such everlastin' fools I don't see!What did we let him have the stuff for? Why didn't we make him pay? I--"

"Now see here, Obed Gott, " broke in Weeks, the butcher, "you know whyjust as well as we do. Why, blast it!" he added earnestly, "if he was tocome into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of his, and smileand say 'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady to-day?' and allthat, he'd get ha'f the meat there was in the place, and I wouldn't say'Boo'! I jest couldn't, that's all. "

This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus ofmuttered "That's so's. "

"It looks to me this way, " declared Higgins. "If the Major's all right, he's a mighty good customer for all of us. If he ain't all right, we'vegot to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks of gettin' himmad 'fore we know for sure. Let's think it over for a week. Inside ofthat time some of us'll hint to him, polite but firm, you understand, that we've got to have something on account. A week from to-night we'llmeet in the back room of my store, talk it over and decide what to do. What do you say?"

Everybody but Obed agreed. He declared that he had lost money enoughand wasn't going to be a fool any longer. The others argued with himpatiently for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper, said sharply:

"See here, Obe! You ain't the only one in this. How much does the Majorowe you?"

"Pretty nigh twenty dollars. "

"Humph! You're lucky. He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins isworse off than any of us. Ain't that so, Beriah?"

"About seventy, even money, " answered the grocer, shortly. "No use, Obed, we've got to hang together. Wait a week and then see. And, fellers, " he added, "don't tell a soul about this business, 'speciallythe women folks. There ain't a woman nor girl in this town that don'tthink Major Hardee's an A1, gold-plated saint, and twouldn't be safe tobreak the spell on a guess. "

Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it. He sat upuntil after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went to bed he hada brilliant idea. The next morning he wrote a letter and posted it. 

CHAPTER V

A BABY AND A ROBBERY

The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached EastHarniss at five minutes to six, an "ungodly hour, " according to theirascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of his wealthyfriends, the summer residents, was petitioning the railroad company fora change in the time-table. When Captain Sol Berry, the depot master, walked briskly down Main Street the morning following Mr. Gott'seventful evening at the club, the hands of the clock on the Methodistchurch tower indicated that the time was twenty minutes to six. 

Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open. Captain Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack andthe little safe. Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the frontplatform, paused in his pretense of sweeping and awaited permission togo home for breakfast. It came, in characteristic fashion. 

"How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?" asked the Captain, casually. 

Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when hesuspected the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he cal'latedhis appetite was all right. 

"Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has it?"

"No-o, sir. I--"

"P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?"

"I--I don't know. "

"Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?"

Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast. 

"So? Clams? Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about not bein'a clam?"

"I--I don't know's I ever did. No, sir. "

"All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's all. When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair chance of histurnin' into one. Now clear out, and don't stay so long at breakfastthat you can't get back in time for dinner. Trot!"

Issy trotted. The depot master seated himself by the door of the ticketoffice and fell into a reverie. It was interrupted by the entrance ofHiram Baker. Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper, fifty-five yearsof age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their infant son, Hiram JoashBaker, lived in a small, old-fashioned house at the other end of thevillage, near the shore. Captain Hiram, having retired from the sea, gothis living, such as it was, from his string of fish traps, or "weirs. "

The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily. 

"Hello, there, Hiram!" he cried, rising from his chair. "Glad to see youonce in a while. Ain't goin' to leave us, are you? Not goin' abroad foryour health, or anything of that kind, hey?"

Captain Baker laughed. 

"No, " he answered. "No further abroad than Hyannis. And I'll be backfrom there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't get off thetrack. Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?"

The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desiredticket. Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass ofcoppers and silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened leatherpurse, tied with a string. 

"How's Sophrony?" asked the depot master. "Pretty smart, I hope. "

"Yup, she's smart. Has to be to keep up with the rest of thefamily--'specially the youngest. "

He chuckled. His friend laughed in sympathy. 

"The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose, " he observed. "HowIS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?"

"He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that. Honest, Sol, I b'lievemy 'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show. I said soonly yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister. I did, and I meant it. "

"Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday. Ho, ho!"

This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored. A baby bornon the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his birthday. And to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration, however widespread, could do justice to the importance of the occasion. When, to answer theheart longings of the child-loving couple married many years, the babycame, he was accepted as a special dispensation of Providence and valuedaccordingly. 

"He's got a real nice voice, Hiram, " said Sophronia, gazing proudlyat the prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands, wasscreaming his little red face black. "I shouldn't wonder if he grew upto sing in the choir. "

"That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!" declaredHiram. "You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a clipper one ofthese days. "

Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly goneabout. Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early confirmation, was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible name. 

The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea forhis own name, Hiram. 

"There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'istedthe main-r'yal on the ark, " he declared. "I'd kinder like to keep theprocession a-goin'. "

They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name Hiram andto add a middle name selected at random from the Scriptures. The big, rickety family Bible was taken from the center table and opened withshaking fingers by Mrs. Baker. She read aloud the first sentence thatmet her eye: "The son of Joash. "

"Joash!" sneered her husband. "You ain't goin' to cruelize him with thatname, be you?"

"Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?"

"All right! Have it your own way. Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash, while Ising 'Storm along, John, ' to you. "

Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist when hewas christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the ill-concealeddelight of his father. 

"Can't blame the child none, " declared the Captain. "I'd punch anybodythat christened a middle name like that onto me. "

But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered. He fell out ofhis crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked his shinsover the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the first time thathe essayed to creep. He teethed with more or less tribulation, and onceupset the household by an attack of the croup. 

They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the Captain'sinvariably answering when the baby was wanted and not answering when hehimself was wanted. Sophronia would have liked to call him Joash, buther husband wouldn't hear of it. At length the father took to callinghim "Dusenberry, " and this nickname was adopted under protest. 

Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night. There were three songsin the Captain's repertoire. The first was a chanty with a chorus of

 John, storm along, storm along, John, Ain't I glad my day's work's done. 

The second was the "Bowline Song. "

 Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin', Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!

At the "haul!" the Captain's foot would come down with a thump. Almostthe first word little Hiram Joash learned was "haul!" He used to shoutit and kick his father vigorously in the vest. 

These were fair-weather songs. Captain Hiram sang them when everythingwas going smoothly. The "Bowline Song" indicated that he was feelingparticularly jubilant. He had another that he sang when he was worried. It was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain beginning:

 Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow, Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee. 

He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later, whenthe junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough. You could alwaystell the state of the baby's health by the Captain's choice of songs. 

Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered. He learned to walk and to talk, after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two years andsix months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his father's dory. Hisduties in this responsible position were to sit in the stern, securelyfastened by a strap, while the Captain and his two assistants rowed outover the bar to haul the nets of the deep water fish weir. 

The first mate gave the orders, "All hands on deck! 'Tand by to det shipunder way!" There was no "sogerin'" aboard the Hiram Junior--that wasthe dory's name--while the first officer had command. 

Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told thedepot master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to get thecover off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself with butterfrom head to heel. 

"Ho, ho, ho!" he roared, delightedly, "when Sophrony caught him at it, what do you s'pose he said? Said he was playin' he was a slice of breadand was spreadin' himself. Haw! haw!"

Captain Sol laughed in sympathy. 

"But he didn't mean no harm by it, " explained the proud father. "He'sgot the tenderest little heart in the world. When he found his ma feltbad he bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off again and when itcome prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so He'd know 'twa'n't motherthat wasted the nice butter. What do you think of that?"

"No use talkin', Hiram, " said the depot master, "that's the kind of boyto have. "

"You bet you! Hello! here's the train. On time, for a wonder. See youlater, Sol. You take my advice, get married and have a boy of your own. Nothin' like one for solid comfort. "

The train was coming and they went out to meet it. The only passengerto alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had been foretoldby Bailey Stitt the previous evening. Barzilla was part owner of agood-sized summer hotel at Wellmouth Neck. He and the depot master wereold friends. 

After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the stationtogether. The Captain had insisted that his friend come home with him tobreakfast, instead of going to the hotel. After some persuasion Barzillaagreed. So they sat down to await Issy's arrival. The depot master couldnot leave the station until the "assistant" arrived. 

"Well, Barzilla, " asked Captain Sol, "what's the newest craze over tothe hotel?"

"The newest, " said Wingate, with a grin, "is automobiles. "

"Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball. "

"Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, wewon out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's anold story. We've had football since, and now--"

"Wait a minute! Football? Why, now I do remember. You had a footballteam there and--and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some sort of a--arobbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it? Seems's if I'dheard somethin' like that. "

Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question. 

"Sol, " he said, "you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?"

The depot master smiled. "I guess not, " he said. 

"Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one. I'm goin' to tell you thewhole business about that robbin'. It's all mixed up with football andmillionaires and things--and it's a dead secret, the truth of it. Sowhen I tell you it mustn't go no further. 

"You see, " he went on, "it was late into August when Peter T. Was tookdown with the inspiration. Not that there was anything 'specially newin his bein' took. He was subject to them seizures, Peter was, and everytime they broke out in a fresh place. The Old Home House itself was oneof his inspirations, so was the hirin' of college waiters, the openin'of the two 'Annex' cottages, the South Shore Weather Bureau, and a wholelot more. Sometimes, as in the weather-bureau foolishness, the diseaseleft him and t'other two patients--meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab--prettyweak in the courage, and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally theyturned out good, and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy thannormal. One of Peter T. 's inspirations was consider'ble like typhoidfever--if you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it. 

"This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season. ''Twas Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week inSeptember was altogether too soon. 

"'What's the use of quittin', ' says he, 'while there's bait left and thefish are bitin'? Why not keep her goin' through September and October?Two or three ads--MY ads--in the papers, hintin' that the ducks and wildgeese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake by roostin' in theback yard and hollerin' at night--two or three of them, and we'll havegunners here by the regiment. Other summer hotels do it, the WapatomacHouse and the rest, so why not us? It hurts my conscience to see goodmoney gettin' past the door 'count of the "Not at Home" sign hung on theknob. What d'you say, partners?' says he. 

"Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab. 'Twastoo risky and too expensive. Gunnin' was all right except for onething--that is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'. 

"'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermonttown-meetin', ' growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has itbeen since you see a goose, Barzilla?'

"'Land knows!' says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust timeWashy Sparrow left off workin', but I can't--'

"Brown told us to shut up. Did we cal'late he didn't know what he wastalkin' about?

"'I can see two geese right now, ' he snaps; 'but they're so old andleather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with acannon. Gunnin' ain't the whole thing. My makin' a noise like a duck isonly to get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this neck of thewoods. After they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em. And I can thinkof as many ways to do that as the Cap'n can of savin' a quarter. Ourbaseball team's been a success, ain't it? Sure thing! Then why not afootball team? Parker says he'll get it together, and coach and cap'nit, too. And Robinson and his daughter have agreed to stay till Octoberfifteenth. So there's a start, anyhow. '

"'Twas a start, and a pretty good one. The Robinsons had come to the OldHome about the fust of August, and they was our star boarders. 'G. W. Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on the hotel log, and hisdaughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'--that is, when she tooka notion to answer at all. The Robinsons was what Peter T. Called'exclusive. ' They didn't mix much with the rest of the bunch, butkept to themselves in their rooms, partic'lar when a fresh net full ofboarders was hauled aboard. Then they seemed to take an observation ofevery arrival afore they mingled; questioned the pedigree and statisticsof all hands, and acted mighty suspicious. 

"The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him excitedand friendly was baseball and boat racin'. He was an old sport, that wasplain, the only real plain thing about him; the rest was mystery. Asfor Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight, bein' what Brown calleda 'peach. ' She could have had every single male in tow if she'd wanted'em. Apparently she didn't want em, preferrin' to be lonesome and sadand interestin'. Yes, sir, there was a mystery about them Robinsons, andeven Peter T. Give in to that. 

"'If 'twas anybody else, ' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a crook, down here hidin' from the police. But he's too rich for that, and alwayshas been. He ain't any fly-by-night. I can tell the real article withoutlookin' for the "sterlin'" mark on the handle. But I'll bet all thecold-storage eggs in the hotel against the henyard--and that's bigodds--that he wa'n't christened Robinson. And his face is familiar tome. I've seen it somewhere, either in print or in person. I wish I knewwhere. '

"So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay--them and their twoservants--that was a big help, as Brown said. And Parker would help, too, though we agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him. He was a big, broad-shouldered young feller just out of college somewheres, who haddrifted our way the fortni't after the Robinsons came, with a reputationfor athletics and a leanin' toward cigarettes and Miss Grace. She leaneda little, too, but hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was. He was deadgone on her, and if she'd have decided to stay under water, he'dhave ducked likewise. 'Twas easy enough to see why HE believed in a'supplementary season. '

"Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met halfway, so's to speak. We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open, but we'd shutup everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise that as a Gunner'sRetreat. So we done it. 

"And it worked. Heavens to Betsy--yes! It worked so well that by thesecond week in September we had to open t'other Annex. The gunnin' wasbad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his 'excursions' andpicnics and the football team held 'em. The football team especial. Parker cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin' crew and the waiters and somefishermen in the village, he dug up an eleven that showed symptoms ofplayin' the game. We played the Trumet High School, and beat it, thanksto Parker, and that tickled Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handledsilver soup tureen--'lovin' cup, ' he called it--and agreed to give it tothe team round about that won the most of the series. So the series wasarranged, the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House eleven andthree high-school gangs bein' in it. And 'twas practice, practice, practice, from then on. 

"When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious. Mostof our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was pretty shyof servants. So we put some extry advertisin' in the Cape weeklies, andtrusted in Providence. 

"The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin' onthe back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate clickand somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path. I sung out: 'Ahoy, there!' and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way. Then I made outthat he was a tall young chap, with his hands in his pockets. 

"'Good evenin', ' says he. 'Is this Mr. Brown?'

"'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't, ' I says. 'My name'sWingate. '

"'Oh!' says he. 'Is that so? I've heard father speak of you, Mr. Wingate. He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable. I think you know himslightly. '

"Know him? Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation, anyhow. He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower andcoastin'-fleet owner in these parts. 

"'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished. 'Why, then, you must beGus?'

"'No, ' he says. 'I'm the other one--Fred. '

"'Oh, the college one. The one who's goin' to be a lawyer. '

"'Well, yes--and no, ' says he. 'I WAS the college one, as you call it, but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer. Father and I have had some talk onthat subject, and I think we've settled it. I--well, just at present, I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be. That's what I've come to you for. Isaw your ad in the Item, and--I want a job. '

"I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you mightsay. Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen! Soon's I couldfetch a whole breath, I wanted partic'lars. He give 'em to me. 

"Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West byhis dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family. But the morehe studied, the less he hankered for law. What he wanted to be was aliterature--a book-agent or a poet, or some such foolishness. Old Sol, havin' no more use for a poet than he had for a poor relation, was redhot in a minute. Was this what he'd been droppin' good money in theeducation collection box for? Was this--etcetery and so on. He'dbe--what the church folks say he will be--if Fred don't go in for law. Fred, he comes back that he'll be the same if he does. So they disownedeach other by mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marchesout of the front door, bag and baggage. And, as the poetry market seemedto be sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he mustdo somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to WellmouthPort and the Old Home. 

"'But look here, ' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary. We needfellers to pass pie and wash dishes. And THAT ain't no poem. '

"Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'. 

"'You can't, ' I told him. 'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away, meand Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be a goodidee and we managed to shake out ten lines or so. It begun:

 "When you're feelin' tired and pale To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail. "

"'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer, andthat was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of authors, sayin' they'd let us in on a course at cut rates. And the next thing weknew we see that poem in the joke page of a Boston paper. I never--'

"He laughed, quiet and sorrowful. He had the quietest way of speakin', anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor. To hear it purrin' out of hisbig, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune in a cent-in-the-slottalkin' machine. 

"'Too bad, ' he says. 'As a waiter, I'm afraid--'

"Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and therestood Grace Robinson. The light behind her showed her up plain as couldbe. I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin' noise in his throat. 

"'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself. Then she calls:'Papa, dear, you really ought to see the stars. '

"Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled outsomethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars. Then he orderedher to come in afore she catched cold. She sighed and obeyed orders, shuttin' the door astern of her. Next thing I knew that literary tenorgrabbed my arm--'twa'n't no canary-bird grip, neither. 

"'Who was that?' he whispers, eager. 

"I told him. 'That's the name they give, ' says I, 'but we have doubtsabout its bein' the real one. You see, there's some mystery about themRobinsons, and--'

"'I'll take that waiter's place, ' he says, quick. 'Shall I go right inand begin now? Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take it. '

"And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh. Every time I'd openmy mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed him where hecould sleep. 

"'You turn out at five sharp, ' I told him. 'And you needn't bother towrite no poems while you're dressin', neither. '

"'Good night, ' he answers, brisk. 'Go, will you, please? I want tothink. '

"I went. 'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't askedone word concernin' the wages. And next mornin' he comes to me andsuggests that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell his real name. He was pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long that he wouldn't berecognized. 'And incognitos seem to be fashionable here, ' he purrs, softand gentle. 

"I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor voiceof him kind of made me sick. 

"'All right, ' I snaps, sarcastic. 'Suppose I call you "Willie. " How'llthat do?'

"'Do as well as anything, I guess, ' he says. Didn't make no odds to him. If I'd have called him 'Maud, ' he'd have been satisfied. 

"He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n Jonadab. And, for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said. 

"'But say, Barzilla, ' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know theRobinsons?'

"'Guess not, ' I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girlcome to the door: 'Why?'

"'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fustmornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny. Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that. P'r'aps that was on accountof her bein' out sailin' the day afore, though. '

"I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested. And when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin' togetherearnest, out back of the kitchen, I was more so. But I never saidnothin'. I've been seafarin' long enough to know when to keep my mainhatch closed. 

"The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the successit looked like at the start. The gunnin' that year was even worse thanusual, and excursions and picnics in late September ain't all joy, byno manner of means. We shut up the second Annex at the end of the month, and transferred the help to Number One. Precious few new boarders come, and a good many of the old ones quit. Them that did stay, stayed onaccount of the football. We was edgin' up toward the end of the series, and our team and the Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck. It looked as ifthe final game between them and us, over on their grounds, would settlewho'd have the soup tureen. 

"Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when hefust come. They thought he might play with the eleven, you see. But hewouldn't. Set his foot right down. 

"'I don't care for athletics, ' he says, mild but firm. 'They used tointerest me somewhat, but not now. '

"The old man was crazy. He'd heard about Willie's literature leanin's, and he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that wa'n't a 'sissy. 'Wanted us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept him, thanks to me. Ifhe'd seen the 'sissy' kick the ball once, same as I did, it might havechanged his mind some. He was passin' along the end of the field whenthe gang was practicin', and the ball come his way. He caught it on thefly, and sent it back with his toe. It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin'and whizzin'. Willie never even looked to see where it went; just kepton his course for the kitchen. 

"The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after supper. Me and Peter T. And Jonadab was in the office, when down comes Henry, old Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and wringin' his handsdistracted. 

"'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a quicksand. 'Oh, Mr. Brown, sir! Will you come right up to Mr. Sterz--I mean Mr. Robinson's room, please, sir! 'E wants to see you gentlemen special. 'Urry, please! 'Urry!'

"So we ''urried, ' wonderin' what on earth was the matter. And when wegot to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale, and theold man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in a fish weir. 

"Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and whenhe lit 'twas right on our necks. His daughter, who seemed to be thesanest one in the lot, run and shut the door. 

"'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under PeterT. 's nose. 'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel? And ain'twe payin' for respectability?'

"Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late. 

"'Yes!' rages Robinson. 'We pay enough for all the respectability inthis state. And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my roomto spoil my digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but what I'mrobbed!'

"'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus. 

"'Yes, sir! Robbed! Robbed! ROBBED! What do you think I came here for?And why do I stay here all this time? 'Cause I LIKE it? 'Cause I can'tafford a better place? No, sir! By the great horn spoon! I come herebecause I thought in this forsaken hole I could get lost and be safe. And now--'

"He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, andHenry and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in thecorner. I looked at the dresser. There was silver-backed brushes and allsorts of expensive doodads spread out loose, and Miss Robinson's watchand a di'mond ring, and a few other knickknacks. I couldn't imagine athief's leavin' all that truck, and I said so. 

"'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic. 'What the brimstone blazes do you thinkI care for them? I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-load, if Iwanted to. But what's been stole is--Oh, get out and leave me alone!You're no good, the lot of you!'

"'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him, ' explains Grace. 'Avery valuable paper. '

"'Valuable!' howls her dad. 'VALUABLE! Why, if Gordon and his gang getthat paper, they've got ME, that's all. Their suit's as good as won, andI know it. And to think that I've kept it safe up to within a monthof the trial, and now--Grace Sterzer, you stop pattin' my head. I'm nopussy-cat! By the--' And so on, indefinite. 

"When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I cal'latedhe was loony, sure enough. But Peter T. Slapped his leg. 

"'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once. 'Ah, NOW I beginto get wise. I knew your face was--See here, Mr. Sterzer--Mr. GabrielSterzer--don't you think we'd better have a real, plain talk on thismatter? Let's get down to tacks. Was the paper you lost something to dowith the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit? The Aluminum Trust case, you know?'

"The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down andwiped his forehead. 

"'Something to DO with it?' he groans. 'Why, you idiot, it was IT!If Gordon's lawyers get that paper--and they've been after it for ayear--then the fat's all in the fire. There's nothin' left for me to dobut compromise. '

"When Peter T. Mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and Jonadabbegun to see a light, too. 'Course you remember the bust-up of theAluminum Trust--everybody does. The papers was full of it. There'dbeen a row among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe Sterzer and 'Major'Gordon. Them two double-back-action millionaires practically owned thetrust, and the state 'twas in, and the politics of that state, and allthe politicians. Each of 'em run three or four banks of their own, anda couple of newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest. Thenthey had the row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, asyou might say. Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and theMajor had sued for it. The suit, with pictures of the leadin'characters and the lawyers and all, had been spread-eagled in the paperseverywheres. No wonder 'Robinson's' face was familiar. 

"But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of theoriginal agreement between him and Gordon. And he hung on to it likethe Old Scratch to a fiddler. Gordon and his crowd had done everything, short of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal it, and so on, because, once they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to stand on--he'd have to divideequal, which wa'n't his desires, by a good sight. The Sterzer lawyershad wanted him to leave it in their charge, but no--he knew too much forthat. The pig-headed old fool had carted it with him wherever he went, and him and his daughter had come to the Old Home House because hefiggered nobody would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-wayplace as that. But they HAD thought of it. Anyhow, the paper was gone. 

"'But Mr. Robinzer--Sterson, I mean--' cut in Cap'n Jonadab, 'you couldhave 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you? They wouldn't dare--'

"''Course they'd dare! S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have thatagreement get in the papers? Dare! They'd dare anything. If they getaway with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my horns andcompromise. If they've got that paper, the suit never comes to trial. '

"'Well, they ain't got it yet, ' says Peter, decided. 'Whoever stole thething is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up to us to seethat they stay here. Barzilla, you take care of the mail. No lettersmust go out to-night. Jonadab, you set up and watch all hands, help andall. Nobody must leave this place, if we have to tie em. And I'll keep agen'ral overseein' of the whole thing, till we get a detective. And--ifyou'll stand the waybill, Mr. Sterzer--we'll have the best Pinkerton inBoston down here in three hours by special train. By the way, are yousure the thing IS lifted? Where was it?'

"Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his pillow. He always kept it there after the beds was made. 

"'Humph!' grunts Brown. 'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob? Underthe pillow! If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look would beunder the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box and the safe. '

"There was consider'ble more talk. Seems the Sterzers had left Henry onguard, same as they always done, when they went to supper. They couldtrust him and Suzette absolute, they said. But Henry had gone downthe hall after a drink of water, and when he had got back everythingapparently was all right. 'Twa'n't till Gabe himself come up that hefound the paper gone. I judged he'd made it interestin' for Henry; thepoor critter looked that way. 

"All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch. Peterhustled to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the longdistance. "

Mr. Wingate paused. Captain Sol was impatient. 

"Go on, " he said. "Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious. "

Barzilla rose to his feet. "Here's your McKay man back again, " he said. "Let's go up to your house and have breakfast. We can talk while we'reeatin'. I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's pocketbook. "

CHAPTER VI

AVIATION AND AVARICE

Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal. The depot masteremployed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked his meals anddid the housework, returning to her own home at night. After Mr. Wingatehad mowed a clean swath through ham and eggs, cornbread and coffee, and had reached the cooky and doughnut stage, he condescended to speakfurther concerning the stolen paper. 

"Well, " he said, "Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to when hegot us alone. "

"'Now, fellers, ' he says, 'we know what we've got to do. Nothin'll betoo good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back. Fustplace, the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell rung. That is, unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't unlikely, considerin' the price he could get from the Gordon gang. Was anybodylate at the tables?'

"Why, yes; there were quite a few late. Two of the 'gunners, ' who'd beenon a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his wife, out walkin'for their health; and Parker and two fellers from the football team, who'd been practicin'. 

"'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter. 

"I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer. 

"'One of the waiters was a little late, ' says I. 'Willie wa'n't on handimmediate. Said he went to wash his hands. '

"Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle--the servants'quarters, I mean--but there was a wash room on the floor where theSterzer-Robinsons roomed. Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of 'em atme. And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs from that washroom a few minutes after the bell rung. 

"'Hum!' says Peter T. 'Hum!' he says. 'Look here, Barzilla, didn't youtell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he had been studyinglaw?'

"'No, ' says I, emphatic. 'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get awayfrom. His tastes run large to literation and poetry. '

"'Hum!' says Peter again. 'All papers are more or less literary--eventrust agreements. Hum!'

"'All the same, ' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never tookit. '

"They didn't answer, but looked solemn. Then the three of us went onwatch. 

"Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'. I kept whatever mail washanded in, but there was nothin' that looked like any agreements, and nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers. At twelve or so, thedetective come. Peter drove up to the depot to meet the special. He toldthe whole yarn on the way down. 

"The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be 'Mr. Snow, ' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks. He said the watch mustbe kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his fust move. Sosaid, so done. 

"And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into thedinin' room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one. And Petermade a little speech. He said that a very valuable paper had been takenout of Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must be on thepremises somewhere. 'Course, nobody was suspicioned, but, speakin'for himself, he'd feel better if his clothes and his room was searchedthrough. How'd the rest feel about it?

"Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick, andsaid he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over, and thenthe rest fell in line. We went through everybody and every room on theplace. Found nothin', of course. Snow--the detective--said he didn'texpect to. But I tell you there was some talkin' goin' on, just thesame. The minister, he hinted that he had some doubts about themdissipated gunners; and the gunners cal'lated they never see a parsonyet wouldn't bear watchin'. As for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and, judgin' from Jonadab's face, he felt the same. 

"The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpectedplaces, like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while. He askedabout most everybody, but about Willie, especial. I judged Peter T. Haddropped a hint to him and to Gabe. Anyhow, the old critter give outthat he wouldn't trust a poet with the silver handles on his grandmarm'scoffin. As for Grace, she acted dreadful nervous and worried. Once Icaught her swabbin' her eyes, as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd neverseen her and Willie together but the one time I told you of. 

"Four days and nights crawled by. No symptoms yet. The Pinkertons waswatchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they reportedthat nothin' like that agreement had reached there. And our ownman--Snow--said he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off the premisessense HE struck port. So 'twas safe so far; but where was it, and whohad it?

"The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played overon their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day. Parker, cap'n of theeleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he didn't know but we'dbetter call it off. Old Robinson--Sterzer, of course--wouldn't hear ofit. 

"'Not much, ' says he. 'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for fortypapers. You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect. 

"So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased Lightnin', Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go by train lateron. 'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch. 'Twould be more quiet, less strain on the nerves of his men, and they could talk over plays andsignals on the v'yage. 

"So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the wholeteam--three waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to WellmouthCenter, a stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders. These lastthree was friends of Parker's that he'd had come down some time afore. He knew they could play football, he said, and they'd come to obligehim. 

"The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters, principally provided and paid for by Sterzer. Cap'n Parker had the ballunder his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the landin'. All theboarders--except Grace, who was upstairs in her room--and most of thehelp was standin' round to say good luck and good-by. 

"Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear. 

"'Say, ' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the robberyhere's a lot of folks leavin' the house? How do you know but what--'

"He winked and nodded brisk. 'I'll attend to that, ' he says. 

"But he didn't have to. Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out of hissails. 

"'Gentlemen, ' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but, asfor me, I don't start without clear skirts. I suggest that Mr. Brown andMr. Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly. Who knows, ' says he, laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen paper tucked inside mysweater? Ha! ha! Come on, fellers! I'll be first. '

"He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, therest of the players after him, takin' it as a big joke. And there thesearchin' was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr. Snow tohelp, and he knew how. One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's agreement wa'n'thid about the persons of that football team. Everybody laughed--that is, all but the old man and the detective. Seemed to me that Snow was kindof disappointed, and I couldn't see why. 'Twa'n't likely any of THEM wasthieves. 

"Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the launch. He'd got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie--who'd been stand-in'with the rest of the help, lookin' on--stepped for'ard pretty brisk andwhispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man. The detective jumped, sortof, and looked surprised and mighty interested. 

"'By George!' says he. 'I never thought of that. ' Then he run to theedge of the piazza and called. 

"'Mr. Parker!' he sings out. 'Oh, Mr. Parker!'

"Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to thelandin'. The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore to thehotel steps. He turns, without stoppin', and answers. 

"'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient. 

"'There's just one thing we forgot to look at, ' shouts Snow. 'Merely amatter of form, but just bring that--Hey! Stop him! Stop him!'

"For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it forthe launch as fast as he could, and that was some. 

"'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps. 'Stop, or--'

"'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder. One of thebiggest men on the eleven--one of the three 'friends' who'd been soobligin' as to come down on purpose to play football--made a dive, caught the detective around the waist, and threw him flat. 

"'Go on, Ed!' he shouts. 'I've got him, all right. '

"Ed--meanin' Parker--was goin' on, and goin' fast. All hands seemedto be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. Included. As for me, Icouldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was comin' too quickfor MY understandin'. 

"But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze. Fur from it! Willie, the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the porch-rail, hit the ground, and took after that Parker man like a cat after a fieldmouse. 

"Run! I never see such runnin'! He fairly flashed across that lawn andover the rise. Parker was almost to the landin'; two more jumps and he'dbeen aboard the launch. If he'd once got aboard, a turn of the switchand that electric craft would have had him out of danger in a shake. Butthem two jumps was two too many. Willie riz off the ground like a flyin'machine, turned his feet up and his head down, and lapped his armsaround Parker's knees. Down the pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and thefootball flew out of Parker's arms. 

"In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin' backtoward us. 

"'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern. 

"'Head him off! Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin' ontothe detective. 

"They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in footballas 'tis aboard ship. If that's so, every one of the Old Home Houseeleven was onto their jobs. There was five men between Willie and thehotel, and they all bore down on him like bats on a June bug. 

"'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help. 

"'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back. 

"'Run, Bearse! Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth out ofthe sand. 

"He run--don't you worry about that! Likewise he dodged. One chapswooped at him, and he ducked under his arms. Another made a dive, andhe jumped over him. The third one he pushed one side with his hand. 'Pushed!' did I say? 'Knocked' would be better, for the feller--thecarpenter 'twas--went over and over like a barrel rollin' down hill. Butthere was two more left, and one of 'em was bound to have him. 

"Then a window upstairs banged open. 

"'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice--Grace Sterzer's voice. 'Don't letthem get you!'

"We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket. Willie heardher, too. The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on him, whenhe stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a rain barrel inJanuary, he dropped that ball and kicked it. 

"I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable. Thefellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that literarypie passer with his foot swung up to his chin. 

"And the ball! It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop, passed over the piazza roof, and out of sight. 

"'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer, ' sung out Fred Bearse--'Willie' forshort. 'Lock your door and keep that ball. I think your father's paperis inside it. '

"As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that footballstraight through the open window into old Gabe's room. "

The depot master whooped and slapped his knee. Mr. Wingate grinneddelightedly and continued:

"There!" he went on, "the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't muchmore to tell. Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe and PeterT. In the lead. Grace let her dad in, and the ball was ripped open in ahurry. Sure enough! Inside, between the leather and the rubber, wasthe missin' agreement. Among the jubilations and praise services nobodythought of much else until Snow, the Pinkerton man, come upstairs, hisclothes tore and his eyes and nose full of sand. 

"'Humph!' says he. 'You've got it, hey? Good! Well, you haven't gotfriend Parker. Look!'

"Such of us as could looked out of the window. There was the launch, with Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-forty for bluewater. 

"'Let 'em go, ' says old Gabe, contented. 'I wouldn't arrest 'em if Icould. This is no police-station job. '

"It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from lawschool, who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was attendin'to the Gordon interests. They had tracked Sterzer to the Old Home House, and had put their new hand on the job of gettin' that agreement. Fusthe'd tried to shine up to Grace, but the shine--her part of it--had woreoff. Then he decided to steal it; and he done it, just how nobody knows. Snow, the detective, says he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'nmost folks thinks, fur's that's concerned. 

"Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days. Soon's he got thereport as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the thief. He'd looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear. In fact, Williehelped him consider'ble. 'Twas him that recognized Parker, havin' seenhim play on a law-school team. Also 'twas Willie who thought of thepaper bein' in the football. 

"Land of love! What a hero they made of that waiter!

"'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's hands. 'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I ever sawanywhere. I've seen every big game for ten years, and I never sawanything half so good. '

"The Pinkerton man laughed. 'There's only one chap on earth who can kicklike that. Here he is, ' layin' his hand on 'Willie's' shoulder. Bearse, the All-American half-back last year. '

"Gabe's mouth fell open. 'Not "Bung" Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings out. 'Why! WHY!'

"'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy. 'I knewhim at once. He and I were--er--slightly acquainted when I was atHighcliffe. '

"'But--but "Bung" Bearse!' gasps the old gent. 'Why, you rascal! I sawyou kick the goal that beat Haleton. Your reputation is worldwide. '

"Willie--Fred Bearse, that is--shook his head, sad and regretful. 

"'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer, ' says he, in his gentle tenor. 'I have nodesire to be famous in athletics. My aspirations now are entirelyliterary. '

"Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin'editor on one of Gabe's papers. His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to bepretty well satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between theBearse family and the Sterzers has just been given out. "

Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut. His host leaned back in hischair and laughed uproariously. 

"Well, by the great and mighty!" he exclaimed, "that Willie chapcertainly did fool you, didn't he. You can't always tell about thesecollege critters. Sometimes they break out unexpected, like chickenpoxin the 'Old Men's Home. ' Ha! ha! Say, do you know Nate Scudder?"

"Know him? Course I know him! The meanest man on the Cape, and livin'right in my own town, too! Well, if I didn't know him I might trust him, and that would be the beginnin' of the end--for me. "

"It sartin would. But what made me think of him was what he toldme about his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your'Willie, ' I jedge. Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was mixed upin that flyin'-machine business, you remember. "

"I know they was. Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers aremakin' such a fuss over. Wellmouth's been crazy over it all, but ithappened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the straightinside facts about it yet. Nate won't talk at all. Whenever you ask himhe busts out swearin' and walks off. His wife's got such a temper thatnobody dared ask her, except the minister. He tried it, and ain't beenthe same man since. "

"Well, " the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, "I cal'late I'vegot those inside facts. "

"You HAVE?"

"Yes. Nate gave 'em to me, under protest. You see, I know Nate prettywell. I know some things about him that . . . But never mind that part. I asked him and, at last, he told me. I'll have to tell you in hiswords, 'cause half the fun was the way he told it and the way he lookedat the whole business. So you can imagine I'm Nate, and--"

"'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're NateScudder, Sol Berry. "

"Thanks. However, you'll have to do it for a spell. Well, Nate said thatit really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at the Wellmouthdepot with the freight car full of junk. Of course, the actualbeginnin' was further back than that, when that Harmon man come on fromPhiladelphy and hunted him up, makin' proclamation that a friend ofhis, a Mr. Van Brunt of New York, had said that Scudder had a nice quietisland to let and maybe he could hire it. 

"Course Nate had an island--that little sun-dried sandbank a mile orso off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call 'Horsefoot Bar. 'That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who lived there alongwith Sol Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it 'Ozone Island, ' youremember. Nate was willin' to let it. He'd let Tophet, if he owned it, and a fool come along who wanted to hire it and could pay for the rentand heat. 

"So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar--to Ozone Island, I mean--and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to suit him toperfection. So did the old house and big barn and all the tumbledownbuildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand. Afore they'd leftthey made a dicker. He wa'n't the principal in it. He was the privatesecretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor Ansel Hobart Dixland, thescientist--perhaps Scudder'd heard of him?

"Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell himthat. Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all aroundthe house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul who wascomin' nor anything. Dixland might want the island two months, he said, or he might want it two years. Nate didn't care. He was in for goodpickin's, and begun to pick by slicin' a liberal commission off thatfencebuildin' job. There was a whole passel of letters back and forthbetween Nate and Harmon, and finally Nate got word to meet the victimsat the depot. 

"There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with whiskersand a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece andhousekeeper, a slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses and astraight up and down dress. And there was a freight car full of cratesand boxes and land knows what all. But nary sign was there of a privatesecretary and assistant. The professor told Nate that Mr. Harmon'shealth had suddenly broke down and he'd had to be sent South. 

"'It's a calamity, ' says he; 'a real calamity! Harmon has been withme in my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is approachin'completion, he is taken away. They say he may die. It is very annoyin'. '

"'Humph!' says Nate. 'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you can'ttell. What you goin' to do for a secretary?'

"'I understand, ' says the professor, 'that there is a person ofconsider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder, atpresent. Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the same classat college. Harmon recommended him highly. Olivia, ' he says to theniece, 'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon recommended?'

"'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel, ' answers the girl, lookin' kind of disdainfulat Nate. Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take to him fustrate. 

"'Hey?' sings out Nate. 'Tolliver? Why, that's Augustus! AUGUSTUS! well, I'll be switched!'

"Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way. Him and Natewas livin' together at that time. Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder, was out West, in Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a chronic invalid and, what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of stock in copper mines. 

"Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, withspectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want tobuild a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian. Hehad a big head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and nothin'underneath but what he called 'science' and 'sociology. ' His sciencewa'n't nothin' but tommy-rot to Nate, and the 'sociology' was some kindof drivel about everybody bein' equal to everybody else, or better. 'Seemed to think 'twas wrong to get a good price for a thing when youfound a feller soft enough to pay it. Did you ever hear the beat of thatin your life?' says Nate. 

"However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into thatweak noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you might say, and the doctor had sent him down to board with the Scudders and sleep itoff. 'Nervous prostration' was the way he had his symptoms labeled, andthe nerve part was all right, for if a hen flew at him he'd holler andrun. Scart! you never see such a scart cat in your born days. Scart of aboat, scart of being seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything! Mostspecial he was scart of Uncle Nate. The said uncle kept him that wayso's he wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, Iguess. 

"'Augustus Tolliver, ' says old Dixland, noddin'. 'Yes, that is the name. Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'

"'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate. 'Scientific trainin'? Why, you bethe's had it! That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had. He'll be justthe feller for you, Mr. Dixland. '

"So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus. But Scudder sightedanother speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of it. 

"'Mr. Harmon, when he was here, ' says he, 'he mentioned you needin'a nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of generalroustabout. My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me that Imight as well be that man. Maybe my terms'll seem a little high, at fustmention, but--'

"'Very good, ' says the professor, 'very good. I'm sure you'll besatisfactory. Now please see to the unloading of that car. And becareful, VERY careful. '

"Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon. He had his nose stuckin a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him like a mateon a tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'. 

"'Who? Who? Who? What? What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of thechair as if there was pins in it. 'What is it? Who did it? Oh, my poornerves!'

"'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says. 'I've got a good promisin' job foryou. Listen to this. '

"Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and helpdo what the old man called 'experiments. '

"'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist! AndI'm to be HIS assistant? Assistant to the man who discovered DIXIUM andinvented--'

"'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient. Tell me this--he's awfulrich, ain't he?'

"'Why, I believe--yes, Harmon said he was. But to think of MY bein'--'

"'Now, nephew, ' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute. Me and yourAunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been here, andhere's your chance to do us a good turn. You stick close to science andthe professor and let me attend to the finances. If this family ain'twell off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle Nate's fault. Only don't youput your oar in where 'tain't needed. '

"Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances. He was so full of joy atbein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland that he forgoteverything else, nerves and all. 

"So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and so wasthe freight-car load of crates and boxes. Grub and necessaries was to beprovided by Scudder--for salary as stated and commission understood. 

"It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up to. When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted disgust. The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY. Seems that for years he'd beenexperimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes, ' and now he'd reached thestage where he b'lieved he could flap his wings and soar. 'Thinks I, 'says Nate, 'your life work's cut out for you, Nate Scudder. You'll spendthe rest of your days as gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum. 'Well, Scudder wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook. He couldn't make agood livin' no easier. 

"The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates. Nate andAugustus and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em together. The buildin's on Ozone was all joined together--first the house, thenthe ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and, finally, the barn. There was doors connectin', and you could go from house to barn, bothdownstairs and up, without steppin' outside once. 

"'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'stage. ' 'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea wasthat the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the chute, outthrough the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to glory. I saythat was the IDEA. In practice she worked different. 

"Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready, andtwice they started that flyin' machine goin'. The fust time Dixlandwas at the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust into thesandbank just outside the barn. The machine was underneath, and thepieces of it acted as a fender, so all the professor fractured was histemper. But it took ten days to get the contraption ready for the nextfizzle. Then poor, shaky, scart Augustus was pilot, and he went so deepinto the bank that Nate says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin'anything but orderin' the gravestone. But they dug him out at last, whole, but frightened blue, and his nerves was worse than ever afterthat. 

"Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong inthe principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he ordered somenew fittin's from Boston. 

"Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in. Scudder was keptbusy providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece, Olivia, with the housework. Likewise he had his hands full keepin' thefolks alongshore from findin' out what was goin' on. All this flyin'foolishness had to be a dead secret. 

"But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick acquaintancethat was developin' between Augustus and Olivia. Them two was what theminister calls 'kindred sperrits. ' Seems she was sufferin' from sciencesame as he was and, more'n that, she was loaded to the gunwale with'social reform. ' To hear the pair of 'em go on about helpin' the poorand 'settlement work' and such was enough, accordin' to Nate, to makeyou leave the table. But there! He couldn't complain. Olivia was heruncle's only heir, and Nate could see a rainbow of promise ahead for theScudder family. 

"The niece was a nice, quiet girl. The only thing Nate had against her, outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take a shineto him, was her confounded pets. Nate said he never had no use forpets--lazy critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin' money--butOlivia was dead gone on 'em. She adopted an old reprobate of a tom-cat, which she labeled 'Galileo, ' after an Eyetalian who invented spyglassesor somethin' similar, and a great big ugly dog that answered to the hailof 'Phillips Brooks'; she named him that because she said the originalPhillips was a distinguished parson and a great philanthropist. 

"That dog was a healthy philanthropist. When Nate kicked him the firsttime, he chased him the whole length of the barn. After that they had tokeep him chained up. He was just pinin' for a chance to swaller Scudderwhole, and he showed it. 

"Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and chummier. Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together, and as for oldProfessor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was his blessed flyin'machine. So things was shapin' themselves well, 'cordin' to Scudder'snotion. 

"One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill att'other end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and Augustus. He had a clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was lookin' into eachother's spectacles as if they was windows in the pearly gates. ThinksNate: 'They've signed articles, ' and he tiptoed away, feelin' that lifewa'n't altogether an empty dream. 

"They was lively hours, them that followed. To begin with, when Nate gotback to the barn he found the professor layin' on the floor, under theflyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal. He'd slipped off one of thebraces of the trestles and sprained both wrists and bruised himself tillhe wa'n't much more than one big lump. He hadn't bruised his tonguenone to speak of, though, and his language wa'n't sprained so that you'dnotice it. What broke him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplaneready to 'fly' again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't beaboard when she went off the ways. 

"'It is the irony of fate, ' says he. 

"'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre, ' Nate told him;'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean. 'Twas slipperyiron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin' on it yesterday. '

"The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and thenhe commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver rightoff. Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, soNate plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in thefront room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was stillcamped in the sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, Ical'late, but he had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was stillstarin' into each other's specs. 

"'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism, ' says Nate, 'but theprofessor wants to see you. '

"They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em downout of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the oldaeroplane had yet. 

"'Uncle Nathan, ' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I havethe most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable. You'll neverguess it. '

"'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust, ' says Nate. 'You twoare engaged. '

"They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle, 'says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented tomarry me. '

"'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain'tit?' says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixland, I congratulate you. You've got a fine, promisin' young man. '

"That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, butOlivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder alittle mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means. 

"'Thank you, Mr. Scudder, ' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am fullaware of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognizethem. He has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which--'

"'Yes, yes, ' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump badnews into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, MissDixland, has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry forit. '

"Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started onthe run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back. 

"'Wait a minute, Gus, ' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk withyou. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come tolove you like a son--yes, sir, like a son--I think it's my duty just nowto say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's comin'in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind ofold, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurrythe end along. 

"'Now, then, ' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and thatsimple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are yougoin' to take care of it? You and 'Livia--you mustn't mind my callin'her that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon--you'llwant to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no timeto attend to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be yourfinancial manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann. WE know all about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let ushandle the bonds and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you. We'll be yours and 'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybethey'll seem a little high, but that's easy arranged. And--'

"Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled, ' he says. 'Olivia and Ihave planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives tosocial work--to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall useto help the poor. WE don't want any of it. We shall live AMONG the poor, live just as frugally as they do. Our money we shall give--every cent ofit--to charity and--'

"'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy, too? Why--'

"But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a littletenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to thistramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. Hemeant it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it, too. 

"Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Oliviacomes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followedalong, holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from apolitical candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the endof all my plannin'! What--WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'

"Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the othertwo standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessedaeroplane. 

"'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor. My inventionis ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die successful. Tolliver, you've been a faithful worker with me, and yours shall be theprivilege of makin' the first flight. Wheel me to the window, Olivia, and let me see my triumph. '

"But Olivia didn't move. Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at her. 'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland. 'Tolliver, what are you waitin'for? The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready. Go this instant andfly. '

"Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but hedidn't seem anxious to spread his wings. He was white, and them nervesof his was all in a twitter. If ever there was a scart critter, 'twashim then. 

"'Go out and fly, ' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly. 'Don't youhear the boss's order? Here, professor, I'll push you to the window. '

"'Thank you, Scudder, ' says Dixland. And then turnin' to Gus: 'Well, sir, may I ask why you wait?'

"'Twas Olivia that answered. 'Uncle Ansel, ' says she, 'I must tell yousomethin'. I should have preferred tellin' you privately, ' she puts in, glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't. Mr. Tolliver and I are engagedto be married. '

"Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental. All he had in hisaddled head was that flyin' contraption. 

"'All right, all right, ' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied. He appears tobe a decent young man enough. But now I want him to start my aeroplane. '

"'No, Uncle Ansel, ' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk hislife in that way. His nerves are not strong and neither is his heart. Besides, the aeroplane has failed twice. Luckily no one was killed inthe other trials, but the chances are that the third time may provefatal. '

"'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor. 'It's perfected, I tellyou! I--'

"'It makes no difference. No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up ourminds. His life and health are too precious; he must be spared for thegrand work that we are to do together. No, Uncle Ansel, he shall NOTfly. '

"Did you ever see a cat in a fit? That was the professor just then, soNate said. He tried to wave his sprained wrists and couldn't; tried tostamp his foot and found it too lame. But his eyeglasses flashed sparksand his tongue spit fire. 

"'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-white, shaky Augustus. 

"'No, Professor Dixland, ' stammers Gus. 'No, sir, I'm sorry, but--'

"'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?' suggeststhat confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile. 

"'Scudder, ' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand dollarscash to start in that aeroplane this moment. '

"For a jiffy Nate was staggered. Five thousand dollars CASH--whew! Butthen he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that sandbank. And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the thing now. Fivethousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped corpse. He fetched along breath. 

"'Well, now, Mr. Dixland, ' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but you seeI don't know nothin' about mechanics. '

"'Professor--' begins Augustus. 'Twas the final straw. Old Whiskersjumped out of the chair, lameness and all. 

"'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers. 'Out this instant! Idischarge you. Go! go!'

"He was actually frothin' at the mouth. I cal'late Olivia thought he wasgoin' to die, for she run to him. 

"'You'd better go, I think, ' says she to her shakin' beau. 'Go, dear, now. I must stay with him for the present, but we will see each othersoon. Go now, and trust me. '

"'I disown you, you ungrateful girl, ' foams her uncle. 'Scudder, I orderyou to put that--that creature off this island. '

"'Yes, sir, ' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer'stail. '

"He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door. I guess Oliviamight have interfered, but just then the professor keels over in a kindof faint and she had to tend to him. Gus darts out of the door with Nateafter him. Scudder reached the beach just as his nephew was shovin' offin the boat, bound for the mainland. 

"'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him. 'See what you get bynot mindin' me, don't you? I'm runnin' things on this island after this. I'm boss here; understand? When you're ready to sign a paper deedin'over ha'f that money your wife's goin' to get to me and Huldy Ann, maybeI'll let you come back. And perhaps then I'll square things for you withDixland. But if you dare to set foot on these premises until then I'llmurder you; I'll drown you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you tothe dog. '

"He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the rowlocks. He b'lieved Nate meant it all. Oh, Scudder had HIM trained all right. "

CHAPTER VII

CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE

"Trust Nate for that, " interrupted Wingate. "He's just as much a bornbully as he is a cheat and a skinflint. "

"Yup, " went on Captain Sol. "Well, when Nate got back to the house theprofessor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak. Olivia was upin her room havin' a cryin' fit. Nate got the old man to bed, made himsome clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and carried for him like he wasa baby. The professor's talk was mainly about the ungrateful desertion, as he called it, of his assistant. 

"'Keep him away from this island, ' he says. 'If he comes, I shall commitmurder; I know it. '

"Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back. The professorwanted guard kept night and day. Nate said he didn't know's he couldafford so much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the spot. So Nateagreed to stand double watches, made him comfort'ble for the night, andleft him. 

"Olivia didn't come downstairs again. She didn't seem to want anysupper, but Nate did and had it, a good one. Galileo, the cat, cameyowlin' around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy. Phillips Brookswas howlin' starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him howl. Ifhe starved to death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his grave. Take italtogether, he was havin' a fairly good time. 

"And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen, hebegun to have a better one. Prospects looked good. Maybe old DixlandWOULD disown his niece. If he did, Nate figgered he was as healthy acandidate for adoption as anybody. And Augustus would have to come toterms or stay single. That is, unless him and Olivia got married onnothin' a week, paid yearly. Nate guessed Huldy Ann would think he'dmanaged pretty well. 

"He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he cal'lateshe must have dozed off. At any rate, next thing he knew he was settin'up straight in his chair, listenin'. It seemed to him that he'd heard asound in the kitchen underneath. 

"He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'. 'Twasa beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence around thebuildin's showed black against the white sand. And in that whitestrip was a ten-foot white gape. Nate had shut that gate afore he wentupstairs. Who'd opened it? Then he heard the noise in the kitchen again. Somebody was talkin' down there. 

"Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room. He was in his stockin' feet, so he didn't make a sound. He reached into the corner and took out hisold duck gun. It was loaded, both barrels. Nate cocked the gun and creptdown the back stairs. 

"There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in acouple of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, setthat Olivia niece and Augustus. They was in a clove hitch again andwhisperin' soft and slushy. 

"My! but Scudder was b'ilin'! He give one jump and landed in the middleof that kitchen floor. 

"'You--you--you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun. 'You're back here, areyou? You know what I told you I'd do to you? Well, now, I'll do it. '

"The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the oppositeway. Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her senses withher. 

"'Run, Augustus!' she screamed. 'He'll shoot you. Run!'

"And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced torun. Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted headfirstinto the dining room. And after him went Nate Scudder, so crazy mad hedidn't know what he was doin'. 

"'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went rattletybang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah, boys!' to paygen'rally. Then through the best parlor and into the front hall. 

"I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs ifit hadn't been for Galileo. That cat had been asleep on the sofy, andthe noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was as crazy as therest of 'em. He run right under Nate's feet and down went Nate sprawlin'and both barrels of the shotgun bust loose like a couple of cannon. 

"Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems. Up them front stairswent Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE Nate meantto murder him now. And after him his uncle went on all fours, swearin'tremendous. 

"Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more crowdedwith noisy, smashable things than that previous. Nate said he couldremember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the two of 'embumped into his bed, but they didn't stop--they was too busy. The wholelength of the house upstairs they traveled, then through the ell, thenthe woodshed loft, and finally out into the upper story of the barn. Andthere Nate knew he had him. The ladder was down. 

"'Now!' says Nate. 'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give youwhat's comin' to you, then--Oh, there ain't no use in your climbin' outthere; you can't get down. '

"The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could seeGus scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the professor'saeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of magnified June bug. 

"'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him. 'Come back and bebutchered. You might as well; it's too high for you to drop. You won't?Then I'll come after you. '

"Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light whenhe see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him. He was simplydesperate--that's it, desperate. And the next thing he did was jump intothe saddle of the machine and pull the startin' lever. 

"There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin' sound, one awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then--'F-s-s-s-t!'--downthe flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out through the doors. 

"Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the smash. I guess he actually felt conscience stricken. Of course, he'd only donehis duty, and yet--

"But no smash came. Instead, there was a long scream from thekitchen--Olivia's voice that was. And then another yell that for purejoy beat anything ever heard. 

"'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from hisbedroom window. 'At last! At last! It FLIES!'

"It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed loftand the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the fust lap, until he got to his room where the trouble had started. Then he wentdown to the kitchen and outdoor. 

"Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in themoonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky. 

"'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again. 'Oh! itFLIES!'

"Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt, forgettin' allabout sprains and lameness; and he likewise was staring at the sky andsayin' over and over:

"'It flies! It really FLIES!'

"And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up highand now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that aeroplane. And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the motor and the yellsof Augustus. 

"Down flopped Scudder in the sand. 'Great land of love, ' he says, 'itFLIES!'

"Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and duck andsail up there overhead. And then, slow and easy as a feather in a Maybreeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a hummock a little ways off. And that Augustus--a fool for luck--staggers out of it safe and sound, and sets down and begins to cry. 

"The fust thing to reach him was Olivia. She grabbed him around theneck, and you never heard such goin's on as them two had. Nate comehurryin' up. 

"'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart. 'That's enough of this. Andyou, ' he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island. I won't makeshark bait of you this time, but--'

"And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks. 'My noble boy!'he sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round shoulders. 'Mynoble boy! My hero!'

"Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open. Olivia went awaytoward the house. The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears like a coupleof waterin' pots. 

"'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll catchcold. Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your boat. Don't youworry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come here no more. '

"But the professor turned on him like a flash. 

"'How dare you interfere?' says he. 'I forgive him everything. He is ahero. Why, man, he FLEW!'

"Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders. 'Don'tyou think you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred. 'I've unchainedPhillips Brooks. '

"Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the shoreand the boat Augustus had come over in. But that philanthropist dog onlymissed the supper he'd been waitin' for by about a foot and a half, evenas 'twas. 

"And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned. Olivia was bossfrom then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own island. Andpretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and all, and now Gus andOlivia are married. "

"Well, by gum!" cried Wingate. "Say, that must have broke Nate's heartcompletely. All that good money goin' to the poor. Ha! ha!"

"Yes, " said Captain Sol, with a broad grin. "Nate told me that everytime he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his scarin' himinto it, it fairly made him sick of life. "

"What did Huldy Ann say? I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of it!"

"I guess likely it did. Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of all. Her principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the professor'sfive-thousand offer and try to fly. 'What if 'twas risky?' she says. 'If anything happened to you the five thousand would have come to yourheirs, wouldn't it? But no! you never think of no one but yourself. '"

Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch. "Good land!" he cried, "I didn'trealize 'twas so late. I must trot along down and meet Stitt. He and Iare goin' to corner the clam market. "

"I must be goin', too, " said the depot master, rising and moving towardthe door, picking up his cap on the way. He threw open the door andexclaimed, "Hello! here's Sim. What you got on your mind, Sim?"

Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn. "I wanted to speak with you a minute, Sol, " he began. "Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was here. "

"I shan't be here but one second longer, " replied Mr. Wingate, as he andPhinney shook hands. "I'm late already. Bailey'll think I ain't comin'. Good-by, boys. See you this afternoon, maybe. "

"Yes, do, " cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate. "I wantto hear about those automobiles over your way. You ain't bought one, have you, Barzilla?"

Wingate grinned over his shoulder. "No, " he called, "I ain't. But otherfolks you know have. It's the biggest joke on earth. You and Sim'll wantto hear it. "

He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road. The depotmaster turned to his friend. 

"Well, Sim?" he asked. 

"Well, Sol, " answered the building mover gravely, "I've just met Mr. Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive Edwards, somethin' I thought you'd want to know. You said for me to find out whatshe was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up her home and--"

"I know what I said, " interrupted the depot master rather sharply. "Whatdid Hilton say?"

"Mr. Hilton told me not to tell, " continued Phinney, "and I shan't tellnobody but you, Sol. I know you wont t mention it. The minister saysthat Olive's hard up as she can be. All she's got in the world is thelittle furniture and store stuff in her house. The store stuff don'tamount to nothin', but the furniture belonged to her pa and ma, and sheset a heap by it. Likewise, as everybody knows, she's awful proud andself-respectin'. Anything like charity would kill her. Now out West--inOmaha or somewheres--she's got a cousin who owed her dad money. OldCap'n Seabury lent this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and sethim up in business. Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don'trealize that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her. She couldn'tunderstand how law would have any effect on payin' money you honestlyowe. She's written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what a scrape she'sin and askin' him to please, if convenient, let her have a thousand orso on account. She figgers if she gets that, she can go to Bayport orOrham or somewheres and open another notion store. "

Captain Berry lit a cigar. "Hum!" he said, after a minute. "You sayshe's written to this chap. Has she got an answer yet?"

"No, not any definite one. She heard from the man's wife sayin' that herhusband--the cousin--had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres up in Canadyand wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month. Soon's he does comehe'll write her. But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so do I--havin' heard afew things about this cousin--that it's mighty doubtful if he sends anymoney. "

"Yes, I shouldn't wonder. Where's Olive goin' to stay while she'swaitin' to hear?"

"In her own house. Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with him, andhe finally agreed to let her stay there until the 'Colonial' is movedonto the lot. Then the Edwardses house'll be tore down and Olive'll haveto go, of course. "

The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar. 

"She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest, " he said. "And ifWilliams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to her lotby the seventh, sure. Have you given him your figures for the job?"

"Handed 'em in this very mornin'. One of his high-and-mighty servants, all brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the band, took myletter and condescended to say he'd pass it on to Williams. I'd likedto have kicked the critter, just to see if he COULD unbend; but I jedged'twouldn't be good business. "

"Probably not. If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she hearsfrom the Omaha man, what then?"

"Well, that's the worst of it. The minister don't know what she'll do. There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to visit a spell, but she's too proud to accept. Mr. Hilton's afraid she'll start forBoston to hunt up a job, or somethin'. You know how much chance shestands of gettin' a job that's wuth anything. "

Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply. When it cameit was very unsatisfactory. 

"I'm goin' to the depot, " said the Captain, brusquely. "So long, Sim. "

He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate, flungit open, and marched on. Simeon gazed in astonishment, then hurriedto overtake him. Ranging alongside, he endeavored to reopen theconversation, but to no purpose. The depot master would not talk. Theyturned into Cross Street. 

"Well!" exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry, "what be we, runnin' a race? Why! . . . Oh, how d'ye do, Mr. Williams, sir? Want to see me, do you?"

The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward. 

"Er--Phinney, " he said, "I want a moment of your time. Morning, Berry. "

"Mornin', Williams, " observed Captain Sol brusquely. "All right, Sim. I'll wait for you farther on. "

He continued his walk. The building mover stood still. Mr. Williamsfrowned with lofty indignation. 

"Phinney, " he said, "I've just looked over those figures of yours, yourbid for moving my new house. The price is ridiculous. "

Simeon attempted a pleasantry. "Yes, " he answered, "I thought 'twasridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I could affordto be funny. "

The Williams frown deepened. 

"I didn't mean ridiculously low, " he snapped; "I meant ridiculouslyhigh. I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't workme for a good thing. I've written to Colt and Adams, of Boston, andaccepted their offer. You had your chance and didn't see fit to take it. That's all. I'm sorry. "

Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical. 

"Mr. Williams, " he demanded, "do you mean to tell me that THEM peoplehave agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?"

"Their price--their actual price may be no lower; but considering theirup-to-date outfit and--er--progressive methods, they're cheaper. Yes. Morning, Phinney. "

He turned on his heel and walked off. Mr. Phinney, crestfallen andangrier than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting forhim. Captain Sol smiled grimly. 

"You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim, " he observed. "What didhis Majesty have to say to you?"

Simeon related the talk with Williams. The depot master's grim smilegrew broader. 

"Sim, " he asked, with quiet sarcasm, "don't you realize that progressivemethods are necessary in movin' a house?"

Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure. 

"Yes, " went on the Captain. "Well, if you can't take the GrandPanjandrum home, you can set on the fence and see him go by. Thatought to be honor enough, hadn't it? However, I may need some of yourridiculous figgers on a movin' job of my own, pretty soon. Don't be TOOcomical, will you?"

"What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?"

"I mean that I may decide to move my own house. "

"Move your OWN house? Where to, for mercy sakes?"

"To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne. Abner haswanted to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time. He knowsit'll make a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer 'cottage. ' He wouldhave bought the house, too, but I think too much of that to sell it. Now Abner's come back with another offer. He'll swap my lot for the MainStreet one, pay my movin' expenses and a fair 'boot' besides. He don'treally care for my HOUSE, you understand; it's my LAND he's after. "

"Are you goin' to take it up?"

"I don't know. The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll lookgood on it. And I'll make money by the deal. "

"Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours. Told meyourself you never wanted to live anywheres else. "

Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw itviolently into the gutter. 

"What difference does it make where I live?" he snarled. "Who in blazescares where I live or whether I live at all?"

"Sol Berry, what on airth--"

"Shut up! Let me alone, Sim! I ain't fit company for anybody just now. Clear out, there's a good feller. "

The next moment he was striding down the hill. Mr. Phinney drew a longbreath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly. WHAT did it all mean?

CHAPTER VIII

THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN

The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of buildingmovers, were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to workis any criterion. Two days after the acceptance of their terms by Mr. Williams, a freight car full of apparatus arrived at East Harniss. Thencame a foreman and a gang of laborers. Horses were hired, and within aweek the "pure Colonial" was off its foundations and on its way to theEdwards lot. The moving was no light task. The big house must be broughtalong the Shore Road to the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swunginto that aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around thewide curve, to its destination. 

Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it incharge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist stealingdown to see how his successful rivals were progressing with the workhe had hoped to do. It caused him much chagrin to see that they weregetting on so very well. One morning, after breakfast, as he stood atthe corner of the Boulevard and the Shore Road, he found himself engagedin a mental calculation. 

Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or fivedays after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot. Another dayand . . . Poor Olive! She would be homeless. Where would she go? Itwas too early for a reply from the Omaha cousin, but Simeon, havingquestioned the minister, had little hope that that reply would befavorable. Still it was a chance, and if the money SHOULD come beforethe "pure Colonial" reached the Edwards lot, then the widow would atleast not be driven penniless from her home. She would have to leavethat home in any event, but she could carry out her project of openinganother shop in one of the neighboring towns. Otherwise . . . Mr. Phinney swore aloud. 

"Humph!" said a voice behind him. "I agree with you, though I don'tknow what it's all about. I ain't heard anything better put for a longwhile. "

Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, "like a young one'spinwheel. " At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master, handsin pockets, cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness andimperturbability. He had come out of his house, which stood close to thecorner, and walked over to join his friend. 

"Land of love!" exclaimed Simeon. "Why don't you scare a fellow todeath, tiptoein' around? I never see such a cat-foot critter!"

Captain Sol smiled. "Jumpin' it, ain't they?" he said, nodding towardthe "Colonial. " "Be there by the tenth, won't it?"

"Tenth!" Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust. "It'll be there by the sixth, or Imiss my guess. "

"Yup. Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the roadif I give you the job to move it?"

"I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a fortnight, "replied Sim, after a moment's reflection. "Fur's gettin' it in the roadgoes, I could have it here day after to-morrow if I had gang enough. "

The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring ofsmoke. "All right, " he drawled, "get gang enough. "

Phinney jumped. "You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's offerand swap your lot for his?" he gasped. "Why, only two or three days agoyou said--"

"Ya-as. That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the'Colonial' since. I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'. You have yourgang here by noon to-day. "

"Sol Berry, are you crazy? You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out oftown--"

"Don't have to see him. He's made me an offer and I'll write and acceptit. "

"But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move--"

"Got it. I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago. He's a friend ofmine. I nominated him town-meetin' day. "

"But, " stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it all, "you ain't got my price nor--"

"Drat your price! Give it when I ask it. See here, Sim, are you goin' tohave my house in the middle of the road by day after to-morrer? Or wasthat just talk?"

"'Twa'n't talk. I can have it there, but--"

"All right, " said Captain Sol coolly, "then have it. "

Hands in pockets, he strolled away. Simeon sat down on a rock by theroadside and whistled. 

However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of expressingamazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries just then. For therest of that day he was a busy man. As Bailey Stitt expressed it, he"flew round like a sand flea in a mitten, " hiring laborers, engagingmasons, and getting his materials ready. That very afternoon the masonsbegan tearing down the chimneys of the little Berry house. Before theclose of the following day it was on the rollers. By two of the dayafter that it was in the middle of the Shore Road, just when its moverhad declared it should be. They were moving it, furniture and all, and Captain Sol was, as he said, going to "stay right aboard all thevoyage. " No cooking could be done, of course, but the Captain arrangedto eat at Mrs. Higgins's hospitable table during the transit. His suddenfreak was furnishing material for gossip throughout the village, but hedid not care. Gossip concerning his actions was the last thing in theworld to trouble Captain Sol Berry. 

The Williams's "Colonial" was moving toward the corner at a rapidrate, and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see Mr. Phinney. 

"Say, " he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming downhis face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor ofarranging rollers; "say, " observed the foreman, "we'll be ready to turninto the Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the way. "

"That's all right, " said Simeon, "we'll be past the Boulevard corner bythat time. "

He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before workbegan, Captain Berry appeared. He had had breakfast and strolled aroundto the scene of operations. 

"Well, " asked Phinney, "how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?"

"Tiptop, " replied the depot master. "Like it fust rate. S'pose my nextberth will be somewheres up there, won't it?"

He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead. Simeongaped, his mouth open. 

"Up THERE?" he cried. "Why, of course not. That's the Boulevard. We'regoin' along the Shore Road. "

"That so? I guess not. We're goin' by the Boulevard. Can go that way, can't we?"

"Can?" repeated Simeon aghast. "Course we CAN! But it's like boxin' thewhole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of no'th. It's way roundRobin Hood's barn. It'll take twice as long and cost--"

"That's good, " interrupted the Captain. "I like to travel, and I'mwillin' to pay for it. Think of the view I'll get on the way. "

"But your permit from the selectmen--" began Phinney. Berry held up hishand. 

"My permit never said nothin' about the course to take, " he answered, his eye twinkling just a little. "There, Sim, you're wastin' time. Imove by the Hill Boulevard. "

And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house. The Colt and Adams foremanwas an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that direction. He rushedover and asked profane and pointed questions. 

"Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?" he demanded. 

"Thought I was, " replied Simeon, "but, you see, I'm only navigator ofthis craft, not owner. "

"Where is the blankety blank?" asked the foreman. 

"If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him atthe depot, " answered Phinney. To the depot went the foreman. Receivinglittle satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his employer, Mr. Williams. The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned with him tothe station. Captain Sol received them blandly. Issy, who heard theinterview which followed, declared that the depot master was so coolthat "an iceberg was a bonfire 'longside of him. " Issy's descriptionof this interview, given to a dozen townspeople within the next threehours, was as follows:

"Mr. Williams, " said the wide-eyed Issy, "he comes postin' into thewaitin' room, his foreman with him. Williams marches over to Cap'n Soland he says, 'Berry, ' he says, 'are you responsible for the way thathouse of yours is moved?'

"Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled. 'Yes, ' says he, sweet as a fresh scallop. 

"'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you? I so understood. '

"'You understood correct. That's where she's bound. '

"'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'

"'Oh, I don't own any road. Have you bought the Boulevard? The selectmenought to have told us that. I s'posed it was town thoroughfare. '

"Mr. Williams colored up a little. 'I didn't mean my road in thatsense, ' he says. 'But the direct way to Main Street is along theshore, and everybody knows it. Now why do you turn from that into theBoulevard?'

"Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket. 'Have one?' says he, passin' ittoward Mr. Williams. 'No? Too soon after breakfast, I s'pose. Why doI turn off?' he goes on. 'Well, I'll tell you. I'm goin' to stay rightaboard my shack while it's movin', and it's so much pleasanter a ride upthe hill that I thought I'd go that way. I always envied them who couldafford a house on the Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have onethere--for a spell. I'm sartin I shall enjoy it. '

"The foreman growled, disgusted. Mr. Williams got redder yet. 

"'Don't you understand?' he snorts. 'You're blockin' the way of thehouse I'M movin'. I have capable men with adequate apparatus to moveit, and they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-horse countryoutfit. You're blockin' the road. Now they must follow you. It's anoutrage!'

"Cap'n Sol smiled once more. 'Too bad, ' says he. 'It's a pity sucha nice street ain't wider. If it was my street in my town--I b'lievethat's what you call East Harniss, ain't it?--seems to me I'd widen it. '

"The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand. 'Berry, ' he snaps, 'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead of mine?'

"The Cap'n looked him square in the eye. 'Williams, ' says he, 'I am. '

"The millionaire turned short and started to go. 

"'You'll pay for it, ' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last. 

"'I cal'late to, ' purrs the Cap'n. 'I gen'rally do pay for what I want, and a fair price, at that. I never bought in cheap mortgages and held'em for clubs over poor folks, never in my life. Good mornin'. '

"And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too, " concluded Issy. "WHAT doyou think of that?"

Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which shouldhave racked East Harniss from end to end. But most of the men in thevillage, the tradespeople particularly, had another matter on theirminds, namely, Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of "Silverleaf Hall. " TheMajor and his debts were causing serious worriment. 

The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the Mondayevening following their previous gathering at the club. Obed Gott, oneof the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members with an air of gloomytriumph and a sort of condescending pity. 

Higgins, the "general store" keeper, acting as self-appointed chairman, asked if anyone had anything to report. For himself, he had seen theMajor and asked point-blank for payment of his bill. The Major had beenvery polite and was apparently much concerned that his fellow townsmenshould have been inconvenienced by any neglect of his. He would write tohis attorneys at once, so he said. 

"He said a whole lot more, too, " added Higgins. "Said he had never beenbetter served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept a finestore, and so on and so forth. But I haven't got any money yet. Anybodyelse had any better luck?"

No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the masterof "Silverleaf Hall. "

"Obed looks as if he knew somethin', " remarked Weeks. "What is it, Obed?"

Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand. 

"You fellers make me laugh, " he said. "You talk and talk, but you don'tdo nothin'. I b'lieve in doin', myself. When I went home t'other night, thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin' 'bout old Hardee, and that's Godfrey, the hotel man. ' So I wrote to Godfrey up to Bostonand I got a letter from him. Here 'tis. "

He read the letter aloud. Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing aboutMajor Hardee further than that he had been able to get nothing from himin payment for his board. 

"So I seized his trunk, " the letter concluded. "There was nothing in itworth mentioning, but I took it on principle. The Major told me alot about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay muchattention to that. I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't help likinghim, and if I had kept on running my hotel I guess he would have gotaway scot-free. "

"There!" exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, "I guess thatsettles it, don't it? Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills over toSquire Baker now. "

But they were not willing. Higgins argued, and justly, that although theMajor was in all probability a fraud, not even a lawyer could get waterout of a stone, and that when a man had nothing, suing him was a wasteof time and cash. 

"Besides, " he said, "there's just a chance that he may have attorneysand property somewheres else. Let's write him a letter and every one ofus sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him Tuesday night expectin'to be paid in full. If we call and don't get any satisfaction, why, we ain't any worse off, and then we can--well, run him out of town, ifnothin' more. "

So the letter was written and signed by every man there. It was a longlist of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness. The letter wasposted that night. 

The days that followed seemed long to Obed. He was ill-natured at homeand ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was "gettin' so a bodycouldn't live with him. " Her own spirits were remarkably high, and Obednoticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be unusually excited. On Thursday she announced that she was going to Orham to visit herniece, one Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be back right off. He knewbetter than to object, and so she went. 

That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee receiveda courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to receive thegentlemen at the Hall. Nothing was said about payment. 

So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession acrossthe fields and up to "Silverleaf Hall. "

"Hardee's been to Orham to-day, " whispered the keeper of the liverystable, as they entered the yard. "He drove over this mornin' and comeback to-night. "

"DROVE over!" exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks. "He did? Where'd heget the team? I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough to let him haveit, and never said a word. Well, if you ain't--By jimmy! you wait till Iget at him! I'll show you that he can't soft soap me. "

Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-fashionedparlor. The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite, was waiting toreceive them. He made some observation concerning the weather. 

"The day's fine enough, " interrupted Obed, pushing to the front, "butthat ain't what we come here to talk about. Are you goin' to pay us whatyou owe? That's what we want to know. "

The "gentleman of the old school" did not answer immediately. Instead heturned to the solemn servant at his elbow. 

"Augustus, " he said, "you may make ready. " Then, looking serenely at theirate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center table, whichhe had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major asked:

"I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of myindebtedness to you?"

"Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to understandthat--"

Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand. 

"One moment, if you please, " he said. "Now, Augustus. "

Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing stack ofbank notes. Then he brought forth neat piles of halves, quarters, dimes, and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the table. Obed's mouth andthose of his companions gaped in amazement. 

"Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?" inquired the Major. 

Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document. 

"Thank you. Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman. Kindlyreceipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please. A mere formality, of course, but it is well to be exact. Thank you, sir. And now, Mr. Higgins. "

One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received theamount due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again. Mr. Peters, thephotographer, was the last to sign. 

"Gentlemen, " said the Major, "I am sorry that my carelessness infinancial matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that youare here, a representative gathering of East Harniss's men of affairs, upon this night of all nights, it seems fitting that I should ask foryour congratulations. Augustus. "

The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappearedcarrying a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses. 

"Gentlemen, " continued the Major, "I have often testified to myadmiration and regard for your--perhaps I may now say OUR--charmingvillage. This admiration and regard has extended to the fair daughtersof the township. It may be that some of you have conscientious scruplesagainst the use of intoxicants. These scruples I respect, but I am surethat none of you will refuse to at least taste a glass of wine with mewhen I tell you that I have this day taken one of the fairest to loveand cherish during life. "

He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said quietly, "My dear, will you honor us with your presence?"

There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway thestately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn. 

"Gentlemen, " said the Major, "permit me to present to you my wife, thenew mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall. '"

The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment. Mr. Gott'sexpressive countenance turned white, then red, and then settled to amottled shade, almost as if he had the measles. Polena rushed to hisside. 

"O Obed!" she exclaimed. "I know we'd ought to have told you, but 'twasonly Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it a secretso's to s'prise you. Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married us, and--"

"My dear, " her husband blandly interrupted, "we will not intrude ourprivate affairs upon the patience of these good friends. And now, gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness of themistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'! Brother Obed, I--"

The outside door closed with a slam; "Brother Obed" had fled. 

A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major cameout into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by thegate gazing stonily into vacancy. "Hen" Leadbetter, who, with Higgins, brought up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:

"When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcelyb'lieve my eyes. I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot init for sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of course, it'sall plain enough NOW. "

"Yes, " remarked Weeks with a nod; "I allers heard that P'lena kept amighty good balance in the bank. "

"It looks to me, " said Higgins slyly, "as if we owed Obed here a vote ofthanks. How 'bout that, Obed?"

And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump. 

"Aw, you go to grass!" he snarled, and tramped savagely off down thehill. 

CHAPTER IX

THE WIDOW BASSETT

These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's discomfiture, overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the depot master's housemoving. This was, in its way, rather fortunate, for those who took thetrouble to walk down to the lower end of the Boulevard were astonishedto see how very slowly the moving was progressing. 

"Only one horse, Sim?" asked Captain Hiram Baker. "Only one! Why, it'lltake you forever to get through, won't it?"

"I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell, " admitted Mr. Phinney. 

"Where's your other one, the white one?"

"The white horse, " said Simeon slowly, "ain't feelin' just right andI've had to lay him off. "

"Humph! that's too bad. How does Sol act about it? He's such a hustler, I should think--"

"Sol, " interrupted Sim, "ain't unreasonable. He understands. "

He chuckled inwardly as he said it. Captain Sol did understand. Also Mr. Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little. 

The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the depotmaster and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official paid a shortvisit to his mover. 

"Sim, " he said, the twinkle still in his eye, "his Majesty, Williamsthe Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real peevish. He waspretty disrespectful to you, too. Called your outfit 'one horse. ' That'sa mistake, because you've got two horses at work right now. It seems ashame to make a great man like that lie. Hadn't you better lay off oneof them horses?"

"Lay one OFF?" exclaimed Simeon. "What for? Why, we'll be slow enough, as 'tis. With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I don't knowhow long. "

"That's so, " murmured the Captain. "I s'pose with one horse you'd hardlyreach the middle of the Boulevard by--well, before the tenth of themonth. Hey?"

The tenth of the month! The TENTH! Why, it was on the tenth that thatOmaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to--Mr. Phinney began to see--to seeand to grin, slow but expansive. 

"Hm-m-m!" he mused. 

"Yes, " observed Captain Sol. "That white horse of yours looks sort ofailin' to me, Sim. I think he needs a rest. "

And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit andtaken back to the stable. The depot master's dwelling moved, but that isall one could say truthfully concerning its progress. 

At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual. He joked with hisassistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issywas duly grateful. Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes withoutspeaking. He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering some graveproblem. When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt, Hiram Baker, andthe rest, dropped in on him he cheered up and was as conversational asever. After they had gone he relapsed into his former quiet mood. 

"He acts sort of blue, to me, " declared Issy, speaking from the depthsof sensational-novel knowledge. "If he was a younger man I'd say he wasmost likely in love. Ah, hum! I s'pose bein' in love does get a fellermournful, don't it?"

Issy made this declaration to his mother only. He knew better than tomention sentiment to male acquaintances. The latter were altogether toolikely to ask embarrassing questions. 

Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their staywas drawing to a close. One afternoon they entered the station together. Captain Sol seemed glad to see them. 

"Set down, fellers, " he ordered. "I swan I'm glad to see you. I ain'tfit company for myself these days. "

"Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?" asked Stitt. "Or ishouse movin' gettin' on your vitals?"

"No, " growled the depot master, "grub's all right and so's movin', I cal'late. I'm glad you fellers come in. What's the news to Orham, Barzilla? How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it? Hear fromJonadab regular, do you?"

Mr. Wingate laughed. "Nothin' much, " he said. "Jonadab's too busyto write these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writingconsider'ble. "

"Sport!" exclaimed Captain Bailey. "Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is thelast one I'd call a sport. "

"That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey, " chuckledBarzilla. "When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gayold blossoms, I tell you!"

"What do you mean?" asked the depot master. 

"I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what; givin'it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too. We opened the Old HomeHouse the middle of April this year, because Peter T. Brown thought wemight catch some spring trade. We did catch a little, though whether itpaid to open up so early's a question. But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab gothis disease so awful bad. However, most any time in the last part of Maythe reg'lar programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up. 

"Take it of a dull day, for instance. Sky overcast and the wind aidgin'round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether 'twould rain orfair off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod fishin' and too hot forbilliards or bowlin'; a bunch of the younger women folks at one endof the piazza playin' bridge; half a dozen men, includin' me and Cap'nJonadab, smokin' and tryin' to keep awake at t'other end; amidships agang of females--all 'fresh air fiends'--and mainly widows or discardsin the matrimony deal, doin' fancywork and gossip. That would be aboutthe usual layout. 

"Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:

"'Did you say "Spades"? WELL! if I'd known you were going to make uslose our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it--not with THIS hand. '

"'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about--' Therest of it whispers. 

"'A--oo--OW! By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it? Shall wematch for the cigars or are you too lazy?'

"Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk!honk!' like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the roadwould come sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards withgoggles and grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane of dust andsmell. Then all hands would set up and look interested, and Bill wouldwink acrost at his chum and drawl:

"'That's the way to get over the country! Why, a horse isn'tone--two--three with that! Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin'man like you hasn't bought one of those things long afore this. '

"For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadabwould take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinionsof autos and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of hislanguage shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin'back and forth contented and joyful. 

"It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had tosay was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like oneof them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July. And he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. Younever see a man get so red faced and eloquent. 

"It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's theusual reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir!the summer hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars inJonadab's hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, amighty sight easier to get into than out of. He could have bought threeautomobiles if he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason hedidn't was named Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham. "

"I know Tobias, " interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt. 

"Course you do, " continued Barzilla. "So does Sol, I guess. Well, anyhow, Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boystogether at school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when theygrew up to be thirty and courted the same girl--ten years younger thaneither of 'em, she was--twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her, as a matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over toHyannis. But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't beenin the race, and consequently they loved each other with a love thatpassed understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin'line and drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous yearor two, had bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They meton the road one day last spring and trotted alongside one another for amile. At the end of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just asternof Tobias's rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horsefor one with a two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias wasleft with a beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HEbought a new horse. And that was the beginnin'. 

"It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag wouldcome home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then t'other's. Oneweek Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride that he couldn't findroom for his vittles, and the next he'd be out in the stable growlin''cause it cost so much for hay to stuff an old hide rack that wa'n'tfit to put in a museum. At last it got so that neither one could find abetter horse on the Cape, and the two they had was practically an evenmatch. I begun to have hopes that the foolishness was over. And then thetin peddler's widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash. 

"She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the styleshe slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin' circle dead. Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a sort of side lineto peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented somethin' that worked. He made money--nobody knew how much, though all hands had a guess--andpretty soon afterwards he made a will and Henrietta a widow. She'd beenlivin' in New York, so she said, and had come back to revisit the scenesof her childhood. She was a mighty well-preserved woman--artificialpreservatives, I cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup--and hercomin' stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of thekettle. "

"I guess I remember HER, too, " put in Captain Bailey. 

"Say!" queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, "do you want to tell about her?If you do, why--"

"Belay, both of you!" ordered the depot master. "Heave ahead, Barzilla. "

"The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of it. He was some subject to widows--most widower men are, I guess--but hedidn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never even hintedthat he'd like to see his old girl. Fact is, his newest horse trade hadshowed that it was afraid of automobiles, and he was beginnin' to getrabid along that line. Then come that afternoon when him and me was outdrivin' together, and we--Well, I'll have to tell you about that. 

"We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet andDenboro, nice hard macadam, the mare--her name was Celia, but Jonadabhad re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to own--skimmin'along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold you! we rounds a turnand there ahead of us is a light, rubber-tired wagon with a man andwoman on the seat of it. I heard Jonadab give a kind of snort. 

"'What's the matter?' says I. 

"'Nothin', ' says he, between his teeth. 'Only, if I ain't some mistaken, that's Tobe Loveland's rig. Wonder if he's got his spunk with him? TheQueen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I can show him a fewthings. '

"'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted. 'Don't be foolish, Jonadab. I don't knownothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman with him. 'Tain'tlikely he'll want to race you when he's got a passenger aboard. '

"'Oh, I don't know!' says he. 'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill be twoand two. Let's heave alongside and see. '

"So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of t'otherrig. Loveland looked back over his shoulder. 

"'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream. ''Lo, Wixon, that you?'

"'Um-hm, ' begins Jonadab. 'How's that crowbait of yours to-day, Tobe?Got any go in him? 'Cause if he has, I--'

"He stopped short. The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her headand was starin' hard. 

"'Why!' she gasps. 'I do believe--Why, Jonadab!'

"'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n. 

"Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and talk. The widow, she done most of the talkin'. She was SO glad to see him. Howhad he been all these years? She knew him instantly. He hadn't changeda mite--that is, not so VERY much. She was plannin' to come over to theOld Home House and stay a spell later on; but now she was havin' SUCH agood time in Orham, Tobias--Mr. Loveland--was makin' it SO pleasant forher. She did enjoy drivin' so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastesthorse in the county--did we know that?

"Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush wasbein' turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another. But when 'twas overand we was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says he:

"'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're ready tocome, Hettie. I can take you ridin', too. Fur's horse goes, I've got apretty good one myself. '

"'Oh!' squeals the widow. 'Really? Is that him? It's awful pretty, andhe looks fast. '

"'She is, ' says Jonadab. 'There's nothin' round here can beat her. '

"'Humph!' says Loveland. 'Git dap!'

"'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once. 

"Tobias started, and we started. Tobias makes his horse go a littlefaster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise. I see how 'twas goin' tobe, and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when the next ten minutesfound us sizzlin' down that road, neck and neck with Loveland, dustflyin', hoofs poundin', and the two drivers leanin' way for'ard overthe dash, reins gripped and teeth sot. For a little ways 'twas an eventhing, and then we commenced to pull ahead a little. 

"'Loveland, ' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth, 'ifI ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust house inDenboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat. '

"I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too. We was drawin' ahead all the timeand had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the woods andsighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away. And up the road comesflyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars. 

"Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for me. Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped trottin' andcommenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin' and high jumpin'. When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of sight and we was in thebushes alongside the road, with the Queen just gettin' ready to climba tree. As for Tobias and Henrietta, they was roundin' the turn by thefust house in Denboro, wavin' by-bys to us over the back of the seat. 

"We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called anautomobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary. The boarders, they got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him, and the morethey ragged, the madder he got and the more down on autos. 

"And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if TobiasLoveland didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' inOrham and buy a fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him. And the verynext time Jonadab was out with the Queen on the Denboro road, Tobiasand the widow whizzed past him in that car so fast he might as well havebeen hove to. And, by way of rubbin' it in, they come along back prettysoon and rolled alongside of him easy, while Henrietta gushed about Mr. Loveland's beautiful car and how nice it was to be able to go just asswift as you wanted to. Jonadab couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' toobusy keepin' the Queen from turnin' herself into a flyin' machine. 

"'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to arrestauto drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered round layin' fora chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined. He'd have had plenty ofgame if he'd been satisfied with strangers, but he didn't want themanyhow, and, besides, most of 'em was on their way to spend money at theOld Home House. 'Twould have been poor business to let any of THAT cashgo for fines, and he realized it. 

"'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to ourhotel. I never thought she meant it when she said she was comin', and soI didn't expect her. Fact is, I was expectin' to hear that she and TobeLoveland was married or engaged. But there was a slip up somewheres, forall to once the depot wagon brings her to the Old Home House, she hiresa room, and settles down to stay till the season closed, which would bein about a fortn't. 

"From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab. He meant to bemiddlin' average frosty to her, I imagine--her bein' so thick withTobias prejudiced him, I presume likely. But land sakes! she thawedhim out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues. She never took nonotice of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and flattered, and lookedher prettiest--which was more'n average, considerin' her age--and by theend of the third day he was hangin' round her like a cat round a cook. 

"It commenced to look serious to me. Jonadab was a pretty old fish tobe caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you can'tnever tell. When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally swallow hook andsinker, and he sartinly did act hungry. I wished more'n once that PeterT. Brown, our business manager, was aboard to help me with advice, butPeter is off tourin' the Yosemite with his wife and her relations, sowhatever pilotin' there was I had to do. And every day fetched Jonadab'sbows nigher the matrimonial rocks. 

"I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him straightout what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard one evenin', asI set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd better wait a spell. 

"The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight. I wassettin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when footstepssounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the settee right bythat window. Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta! I sensed that immediate. 

"She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin' mightyearnest. 

"'Oh, no, Cap'n! Oh, no!' she giggles. 'You mustn't be so serious onsuch a beautiful night as this. Let's talk about the moon. '

"'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab. 'Hettie, I--'

"'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks! All shiny and--"

"'Drat the water, too! Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to talkserious with me? If that Tobe Loveland--'

"'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into theconversation. He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as forthe way in which he runs that lovely car of his--'

"The Cap'n interrupted her. He ripped out somethin' emphatic. 

"'Generous!' he snarls. ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed trough, he is. And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean myself to ownone of them things, I'll bet my other suit I could run it better'n hedoes. If I couldn't, I'd tie myself to the anchor and jump overboard. '

"The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe him. 'Really?' she says. 'Do you think so? Good night, Jonadab. '

"I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza. He went after her. 'Hettie, ' he says, 'you answer me one thing. Are you engaged to TobeLoveland?'

"She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow. 'Really, ' says she, 'youare--Why, no, I'm not. '

"That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard. She wa'n't engaged toLoveland; she said so, herself. And yet, if she wanted Jonadab, she wasactin' mighty funny. I ain't had no experience, but it seemed to me thatthen was the time to bag him and she'd put him off on purpose. She wasages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun of it. What was her game?"

CHAPTER X

CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES

Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, whowas passing the open door of the waiting room. 

"Hello, there, Hime!" he shouted. "Come up in here! What, are you tooproud to speak to common folks?"

Captain Hiram entered. "Hello!" he said. "You look like a busy gang, forsure. What you doin'--seatin' chairs?"

"Just now we're automobilin', " observed Captain Sol. "Set down, Hiram. "

"Automobilin'?" repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled. 

"Sartin. Barzilla's takin' us out. Go on, Barzilla. "

Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. "Well, " he began, "we HAVE just aboutreached the part where I went autoin'. The widow and me and Jonadab. "

"Jonadab!" shouted Stitt. "I thought you said--"

"I know what I said. But we went auto ridin' just the same. 

"'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new bigtourin' car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day afterHenrietta come--this Henry G. Did--and he was so quiet and easy spokenand run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadabcouldn't take much offense at him. He wa'n't very well, he said, subjectto some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest. 

"Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin'. Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn't machinesense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a factwith the majority of autos, but not with his. 'Why, a child could runit, ' says he. 'Look here, Cap'n: To start it you just do this. To stopit you do so and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. Tomake her go faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin'--well, a man that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have wouldsimply have a picnic. I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's againstspeeders and such--I'd be a constable if I was in your shoes--but thisis a gentleman's car and runs like one. '

"All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help actin'interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of the machineand was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic'larafternoon, Henry G. Invites us all to go out with him for a little 'rollaround, ' the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD togo; he didn't dast say no. 

"Somehow or 'nother--I ain't just sure yet how it happened--the seatin'arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front seat, and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern. We rolled out andpurred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin' to dinner. No speedin', no joltin', no nothin'. 'TWAS a 'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't no doubtabout that. 

"We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the timeBradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and tellin'him how to work 'em. Finally, after we'd headed back, he asked Jonadabto take the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin' sortof mean and 'twould do him good to rest. 

"Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G. Keptbeggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He mustdo it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it--had told her so--andnow he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland--

"'All right, ' snarls Jonadab. 'I'll try. But if ever--'

"'Hold on!' says I. 'Here's where I get out. '

"However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel. His jawwas set and his hands shakin', but he done it. Hettie had give herorders and she was skipper. 

"For a consider'ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin' lesscrooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that. 

"'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says. 

"'Bet your life!' says Bradbury. 'Better put on a little more speed, hadn't we?'"

He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and wecommenced to move. 

"'When you want to make her jump, ' he says, you press down on that withyour foot, and you shove the spark back. '

"'Shut up!' howls Jonadab. 'Belay! Don't you dast to touch that. I'mscart to death as 'tis. Here! you take this wheel. '

"But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand theCap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake. 

"'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the hangof the craft. '

"'Course you are, ' says Bradbury. 'I told--Oh!'

"He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the backof the seat. 

"'What IS it?' screams the widow. 'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'

"He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike. My heart!' he gasps. 'I--I'm afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks. I must get to adoctor quick. '

"'Doctor!' I sings out. 'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor nigherthan Denboro, and that's four mile astern. '

"'Never mind, ' cries the Bassett woman. 'We must go there, then. Turnaround, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury--'

"But poor Henry G. Was curled up against the cushions and we couldn'tget nothin' out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin' alongup the road. 

"'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta. 'Turn around and go for thedoctor!'

"Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white ashis rubber collar. 

"'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I--I don't know HOW to turn around. '

"'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers. 'Stop where you be!'

"And he moans--almost cryin' he was: 'I--I've forgotten how to STOP. '

"Talk about your situations! If we wa'n't in one then I miss my guess. Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon. 

"'We MUST get to a doctor, ' says the widow. 'Where is there another one, Mr. Wingate?'

"'The next one's in Bayport, ' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if it'sa foot. '

"However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we put. Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got nervous. 

"'We'll never get there at this rate, ' says she. 'Go faster, Jonadab. Faster! Press down on--on that thing he told you to. Please! for MYsake. '

"'Don't you--' I begun; but 'twas too late. He pressed, and away wewent. We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I wasexpectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin' the waythe Cap'n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin' more and more set upand confident. 

"'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla, ' he grunts, between his teeth. 'See me put her around the next buoy ahead there. Hey! how's that?'

"The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around itbeautiful. So with the next and the next and the next. Bayport wa'n't sovery fur ahead. All to once another dreadful thought struck me. 

"'Look here!' I yells. 'How in time are we goin' to stop when we--OW!'

"The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage. I looked at her, and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head. 

"'S-sh-sh!' she whispers. 'Don't disturb him. He'll be frightened and--'

"'Frightened! Good heavens to Betsy! I cal'late he won't be the only onethat's fri--'

"But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap ofthinkin'. On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy, ' there, ahead ofus, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one person in it, aman, and goin' in the same direction we was, though not quite so fast. 

"Then I WAS scart. 'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out. 'Heave to! Come about!Shorten sail! Do you want to run him down? Look OUT!'

"I might as well have saved my breath. Heavin' to and the rest of itwa'n't included in our pilot's education. On we went, same as ever. Idon't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't kept her head. She leaned over the for'ard rail of the after cockpit and squeezed arubber bag that was close to Jonadab's starboard arm. It was j'ined tothe fog whistle, I cal'late, 'cause from under our bows sounded a bellerlike a bull afoul of a barb-wire fence. 

"The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked. Then he commencedto sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass. But all the time he keptlookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher, and I could see himplainer through the dust, he looked more and more familiar. 'Twassomebody I knew. 

"Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab. He wasleanin' for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other auto. The nigher we got, the harder he stared; and the man in front wasactin' similar in regards to him. And, all to once, the head car stoppedswingin' off to wind'ard, turned back toward the middle of the road, andbegun to go like smoke. The next instant I felt our machine fairly jumpbeneath me. I looked at Jonadab's foot. 'Twas pressed hard down on thespeed lever. 

"'You crazy loon!' I screeched. 'You--you--you--Stop it! Take your footoff that! Do you want to--!'

"I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty nigh onBradbury's head. But, would you believe it, that Jonadab man let go ofthe wheel with one hand--let GO of it, mind you--and give me a shovethat sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap. 

"'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you beand keep off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat thatLoveland this time or run him under, one or t'other!'

"As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was TobiasLoveland!

"And from then on--Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up withmy arms around the bedpost. I ain't real sure, but I kind of have anidee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that I was huggin'the widow some of the time. If I did, 'twa'n't knowin'ly, and she nevermentioned it afterwards. All I can swear to is clouds of dust, and hornshonkin', and telegraph poles lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab'sface set as the Day of Judgment. 

"He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued. He shovedthe 'spark'--whatever that is--'way back. Every once in a while heyelled, yelled at the top of his lungs. What he yelled hadn't no senseto it. Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a horse and next thathe was handlin' a schooner in a gale. 

"'Git dap!' he'd whoop. 'Go it, you cripples! Keep her nose right in theteeth of it! She's got the best of the water, so let her bile! Whe-E-E!'

"We didn't stop at Bayport. Our skipper had made other arrangements. However, the way I figgered it, we was long past needin' a doctor, andyou can get an undertaker 'most anywhere. We went through the villagelike a couple of shootin' stars, Tobias about a length ahead, his hatblowed off, his hair--what little he's got--streamin' out behind, andthat blessed red buzz wagon of his fairly skimmin' the hummocks andjumpin' the smooth places. And right astern of him comes Jonadab, hangin' to the wheel, HIS hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dustwith yells and coughs. 

"You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you never saw'em reach where they was goin'--time they done that we was somewheresround the next bend. A pullet run over us once--yes, I mean just that. She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as we slid underneath her, andby the time she lit we was so fur away she wa'n't visible to thenaked eye. Bradbury--who'd got better remarkable sudden--was pawin' atJonadab's arm, tryin' to make him ease up; but he might as well havepawed the wind. As for Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of thefront seat tootin' the horn for all she was wuth. And curled down in aheap on the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name ofBarzilla Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever. 

"I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beatTobias. I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain'tcompetent to testify. All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of Bayportvillage, the landscape got some less streaked and you could mostgen'rally separate one house from the next. 

"Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile. Shewas pretty pale, but she managed to smile back. I got up off the floorand slumped on the cushions. As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon, he'd stoppedyellin', but his face was one broad, serene grin. His mouth, throughthe dust and the dirt caked around it, looked like a rain gully in asand-bank. And, occasional, he crowed, hoarse but vainglorious. 

"'Did you see me?' he barked. 'Did you notice me lick him? He'll laughat me, will he?--him and his one-horse tin cart! Ho! HO! Why, you'dthink he was settin' down to rest! I've got him where I want him now!Ho, ho! Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you--? Land sakes! Mr. Bradbury, I forgot all about you. And I--I guess we must have got a goodways past the doctor's place. '

"Bradbury said never mind. He felt much better, and he cal'lated he'd dotill we fetched the Old Home dock. He'd take the wheel, now, he guessed. 

"But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him! He wasused to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to Henry G. And Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port. 

"'She answers her hellum fine, ' he says. 'After a little practice Ical'late I could steer--'

"'Steer!' sings out Bradbury. 'STEER! Great Caesar's ghost! I give youmy word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a machine as you didgoin' through Bayport, in my life. You're a wonder!'

"'Um-hm, ' says Jonadab contented. 'I've steered a good many vessels inmy time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and never run afoulof nothin' yet. I don't see much diff'rence on shore--'cept that it's alittle easier. '

"EASIER! Wouldn't that--Well, what's the use of talkin'?

"We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' underBradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin' atthe front steps slick as grease. He got out, his chest swelled up likea puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what he'd done toLoveland. I don't know where Bradbury and the widow went. As for me, Iwent aloft and turned in. And 'twas two days and nights afore I got upagain. I had a cold, anyway, and what I'd been through didn't help itnone. 

"The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me. He wasdressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away. Sureenough, he was; goin' on the next train. 

"'Where's Jonadab?' says I. 

"'Oh, he's out in his car, ' he says. 'Huntin' for Loveland again, maybe. '

"'HIS car? You mean yours. '

"'No, I mean his. I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for twenty-fivehundred dollars cash. '

"I set up in bed. 'Go 'long!' I sings out. 'You didn't nuther!'

"'Yes, I did. Sure thing. After that ride, you couldn't have separatedhim from that machine with blastin' powder. He paid over the money likea little man. '

"I laid down again. Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred dollars fora plaything! Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!

"'Has--has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get mybreath. 

"He laughed sort of queer. 'No, ' he says, 'she's gone out of town fora few days. Ha, ha! Well, between you and me, Wingate, I doubt ifshe comes back again. She and I have made all we're likely to in thisneighborhood, and she's too good a business woman to waste her time. Good-by; glad to have met you. '

"But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' thecritter. 

"'Hold on!' I says. 'There's somethin' underneath all this. Out with it. I won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to. '

"'Well, ' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back andI know it. She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last fiveweeks, and the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses. Two up inWareham, one over in Orham, to Loveland--'

"'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again. 

"'Hettie and I did--yes. Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag oldWixon. I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but he didn't. How he did run that thing! He's a game sport. '

"'See here!' says I. 'YOU and Hettie sold--What do you mean by that?'

"'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business, ' says he. 'She put inher money and I furnished the experience. We've got a big plant up in--'namin' a city in Connecticut. 

"I fetched a long breath. 'WELL!' says I. 'And all this makin' eyes atTobe and Jonadab was just--just--'

"'Just bait, that's all, ' says he. 'I told you she was a good businesswoman. '

"I let this sink in good. Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man! And how'syour heart actin' now?'

"'Fine!' he says, winkin'. 'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would learnto run on his own hook. I didn't expect quite so much of a run, butI'm satisfied. Don't you worry about my heart disease. That twenty-fivehundred cured it. 'Twas all in the way of business, ' says Henry G. Bradbury. "

"Whew!" whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket forpipe and tobacco. "Whew! I should say your partner had a narrer escape. Want to look out sharp for widders. They're dangerous, hey, Sol?"

The depot master did not answer. Captain Hiram asked another question. "How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?" he inquired. 

"Oh, " said Barzilla, "I don't think he minded so much. He was too crazyabout his new auto to care for anything else. Then, too, he was b'ilin'mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for speedin'. 

"'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says. 'I knew Tobe was a poor loser, butI didn't think he'd be so low down as all that. Says I was goin' fiftymile an hour. He! he! Well, I WAS movin', that's a fact. I don't care. 'Twas wuth the twenty-dollar fine. '

"'Maybe so, ' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a specialauto constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law he's s'posed toprotect. '

"He hadn't thought of that. His face clouded over. 

"'No use, Barzilla, ' says he; 'I'll have to give it up. '

"'Guess you will, ' says I. 'Automobilin' is--'

"'I don't mean automobilin', ' he snorts disgusted. 'Course not! I meanbein' constable. '

"So there you are! From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he can'ttalk enough good about 'em. And every day sence then he's out on theroad layin' for another chance at Tobias. I hope he gets that chancepretty soon, because--well, there's a rumor goin' round that Loveland isplannin' to swap his car for a bigger and faster one. If he does . . . "

"If he does, " interrupted Captain Sol, "I hope you'll fix the next racefor over here. I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla. "

"Guess you'd have to look quick to see him, " laughed Stitt. "Speakin'about automobiles--"

"By gum!" ejaculated Wingate, "you'd have to look somewheres else tofind ME. I've got all the auto racin' I want!"

"Speakin' of automobiles, " began Captain Bailey again. No one paid theslightest attention. 

"How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?" asked the depot master, turning toCaptain Baker. "His birthday's the Fourth, and that's only a couple ofdays off. "

The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled. 

"Why, he ain't real fust-rate, " he said. "Seems to be some underthe weather. Got a cold and kind of sore throat. Dr. Parker says hecal'lates it's a touch of tonsilitis. There's consider'ble fever, too. I was hopin' the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's gone away ona fishin' cruise. Won't be home till late to-morrer. I s'pose me andSophrony hadn't ought to worry. Dr. Parker seems to know about thecase. "

"Humph!" grunted the depot master, "there's only two bein's in creationthat know it all. One's the Almighty and t'other's young Parker. He'sright out of medical school and is just as fresh as his diploma. Hehadn't any business to go fishin' and leave his patients. We lost agood man when old Dr. Ryder died. He . . . Oh, well! you mustn'tworry, Hiram. Dusenberry'll pull out in time for his birthday. Goin' tocelebrate, was you?"

Captain Baker nodded. "Um-hm, " he said. "Sophrony's goin' to bake afrosted cake and stick three candles on it--he's three year old, youknow--and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails, ' that's what he's beenbeggin' for. Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!"

"Speakin' of automobiles, " began Bailey Stitt for the third time. 

"That youngster of yours, Hiram, " went on the depot master, "is theright kind. Compared with some of the summer young ones that strike thisdepot, he's a saint. "

Captain Hiram grinned. "That's what I tell Sophrony, " he said. "Sometimes when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort ofprovoked, I say to her, 'Old lady, ' I say, 'if you think THAT'S anaughty boy, you ought to have seen Archibald. '"

"Who was Archibald?" asked Barzilla. 

"He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years agowhen we went on our New York cruise together. The weir business had beenpretty good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on a vacation with him, soI went. Sim ain't stopped talkin' about our experiences yet. Ho! ho!"

"You bet he ain't!" laughed the depot master. "One mix-up you had witha priest, and a love story, and land knows what. He talks about that tothis day. "

"What was it? He never told me, " said Wingate. 

"Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I wasstayin'. We--"

"Did YOU put up at the Golconda?" interrupted Barzilla. "Why, Cap'nJonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York. "

"I know you did. Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took therecommendation. That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got againstJonadab Wixon. It sartin is a tough old tavern. "

"I give in to that. Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin' stoppedthere on his honeymoon, years and years ago. He's too stubborn toown it's bad. It's a matter of principle with him, and he's sot onprinciple. "

"Yes, " continued Baker. "Well, Sim and me had been at that Golcondathree days and nights. Mornin' of the fourth day we walked out of thedinin' room after breakfast, feelin' pretty average chipper. Gettin'safe past another meal at that hotel was enough of itself to make a chapgrateful. 

"We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office. And there, by theclerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes that was loudenough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new tall hat, set witha list to port, on his head. He was smooth-faced and pug-nosed, with anupper lip like a camel's. 

"He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the matterof that. He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful togs. 

"'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social. 

"The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver hat. 

"'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again. 

"'I say it's a fine day, ' said Phinney again. 

"'I was after hearin' yez say it, ' says the man, and walks off, scowlin'like a meat ax. We looked after him. 

"'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk. 'And when are theygoing to hang him?'

"'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart. ''Tis the boss. The bloke whatruns the hotel. He's a fine man, but he has troubles. He's blue. '

"'So that's the boss, hey?' says I. 'And he's blue. Well, he looks it. What's troublin' him? Ain't business good?'

"'Never better. It ain't that. He has things on his mind. You see--'

"I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to hearit. We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and 'Stock Exchange'on the list for that afternoon. The hotel clerk had made out a kind ofschedule for us of things we'd ought to see while we was in New York, and so fur we'd took in the zoological menagerie and the picture museum, and Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge. 

"On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some preachin'. His text was took from the Golconda House sign, which had 'T. Dempsey, Proprietor, ' painted on it. 

"'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue, Hiram, 'says Sim. 'It's the way he makes his money. He sells liquor. '

"'Oh!' says I. 'Is THAT it? I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on oneof his own hotel beds. THEY'RE enough to make any man blue--black andblue. '

"The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success. Phinney was disgusted. He give onelook around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that buildingsame as Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro, marched hisboy out of the Universalist sociable. 

"'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish, ' he snorts. 'The idea ofsendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH. I've lookedat 'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of my life, ' he says, 'and when I'm on a vacation I want a change. I'd forgot that "aquarium"meant fish, or you wouldn't have got me within smellin' distance ofit. Necessity's one thing and pleasure's another, as the boy said abouttakin' his ma's spring bitters. '

"So we headed for the Stock Exchange. We got our gallery tickets at thebank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little while we wasleanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin' down at a gang of mensmokin' and foolin' and carryin' on. 'Twas a dull day, so we found outafterward, and I guess likely that was true. Anyway, I never see suchgrown-up men act so much like children. There was a lot of poles stuckup around with signs on 'em, and around every pole was a circle ofbedlamites hollerin' like loons. Hollerin' was the nighest to workof anything I see them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers andshovin' the pieces down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air likea play-actin' snowstorm. 

"'What's the matter with 'em?' says I. 'High finance taken away theirbrains?'

"But Phinney was awful interested. He dumped some money in a mine once. The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever come to thetop again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin' finances eversence. 

"'I want to see the big fellers, ' says he. 'S'pose that fat one isMorgan?'

"'I don't know, ' says I. 'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so long. Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit. '

"He was, too. Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up andgrinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time. I cal'latewe looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that marble rail, likeposies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite color to a stockbroker, they tell me. Anyhow, we had a good-sized congregation under us inless than no time. Likewise, they got chatty, and commenced to unloadremarks. 

"'Land sakes!' says one. 'How's punkins?'

"'How's crops down your way?' says another. 

"Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about thesequestions--more fresh than new, they struck me--but you'd think theywas gems from the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws. Next minutea little bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had a tailor's signhull down and out of the race, steps to the front and commences to makea speech. 

"'Gosh t'mighty, gents, ' says he. 'With your kind permission, I'll sing"When Reuben Comes to Town. "'

"And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin' worse'na sandy front yard. And with every verse the congregation whooped andlaughed and cheered. When the anthem was concluded, all hands set up ayell and looked at us to see how we took it. 

"As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over. But SimPhinney was as cool as an October evenin'. Once in a while old Simcomes out right down brilliant, and he done it now. He smiled, kindof tolerant and easy, same as you might at the tricks of a hand-organmonkey. Then he claps his hands, applaudin' like, reaches into hispocket, brings up a couple of pennies, and tosses 'em down to littlebaldhead, who was standin' there blown up with pride. 

"For a minute the crowd was still. And THEN such a yell as went up! Thewhole floor went wild. Next thing I knew the gallery was filled withbrokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the back, beggin' usto come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy. We was solid with the'system' for once in our lives. We could have had that whole buildin', from marble decks to gold maintruck, if we'd said the word. Fiftyyellin' lunatics was on hand to give it to us; the other two hundred wasjoyfully mutilatin' the baldhead. 

"Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowdwouldn't let us. We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks. That wasthe best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was. Come on! We MUST comeon! Whee! Wow!

"I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted headfirst through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was ready tofight by this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if the chap whograbbed me hadn't been a few inches short of seven foot high. And, besides that, I knew him. 'Twas Sam Holden, a young feller I knew whenhe boarded here one summer. His wife boarded here, too, only she wa'n'this wife then. Her name was Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl. Maybe you remember 'em, Sol?"

The depot master nodded. 

"I remember 'em well, " he said. "Liked 'em both--everybody did. "

"Yes. Well, he knew us and was glad to see us. 

"'It IS you!' he sings out. 'By George! I thought it was when I came onthe floor just now. My! but I'm glad to see you. And Mr. Phinney, too!Bully! Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians. '

"The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear somehow, and out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of a kind ofrestaurant. Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars, and shakes handsonce more. 

"'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'. 'What areyou doin' here? When did you come? Tell us about it. '

"So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to usso fur. It seemed to tickle him 'most to death. 

"'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown, ' says Sam, 'and she'll be as glad to see you as I am. You're comin' up to dinnerwith me to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit, you know, ' hesays. 

"Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away. Nothin'that me or Simeon could say would make him change the course a point. SoPhinney went up to the Golconda House and got our bags, and at half-pastfour that afternoon the three of us was in a hired hack bound uptown. 

"On the way Sam was full of fun as ever. He laughed and joked, and askedquestions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest. All of a sudden heslaps his knee and sings out:

"'There! I knew I'd forgotten somethin'. Our butler left yesterday, and I was to call at the intelligence office on my way home and see ifthey'd scared up a new one. '

"I looked at Simeon, and he at me. 

"'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'. 'Do you keepa butler?'

"'Not long, ' says he, dry as a salt codfish. And that's all we could getout of him. 

"I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty. We hadn't more'n gotinside the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that theHolden brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush. If I'D beenrunnin' that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt shy and retirin'was when the landlord came for the rent. 

"One of the fo'mast hands--hired girls, I mean--went aloft to fetch Mrs. Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and folksy andglad to see us as a body could be. But she looked sort of troubled, justthe same. 

"'I'm ever so glad you're here, ' says she to me and Simeon. 'But, oh, Sam! it's a shame the way things happen. Cousin Harriet and Archie camethis afternoon to stay until to-morrow. They're on their way South. And I have promised that you and I shall take Harriet to see Marloweto-night. Of course we won't do it now, under any consideration, but youknow what she is. '

"Sam seemed to know. He muttered somethin' that sounded like a Scripturetext. Simeon spoke up prompt. 

"'Indeed you will, ' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind. We've got relations of our own, and we know what it means when theycome a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go tosee--whatever 'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to hometill you get back. Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute. '

"They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. Itseemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, wholived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and wasrich as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the EvilOne's, ' Sam said. 

"We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until werun afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was talland middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale fortaxes, but discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got upregardless, and had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and acondescendin' look to her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument, and all creation was on its knees down below. She didn't warm up toSimeon and me much; eyed us over through a pair of gilt spyglasses, andadmitted that she was 'charmed, I'm sure. ' Likewise, she was afflictedwith 'nerves, ' which must be a divil of a disease--for everybody but thepatient, especial. 

"Archie--his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'--showed up prettysoon in tow of his 'maid, ' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl namedMargaret. 'Archibald, dear, ' was five years old or so, sufferin' fromcurls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed astrap ile more. 

"'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand. 

"Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney andcommences to laugh. 

"'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers. '

"Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run intoa head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam andGrace looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazylaughs. 

"'Archibald, de-ar, ' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now benice, and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy. '

"'I won't, ' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you, mama. '

"'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and--'

"Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for littletables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she arguedwith him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. WhenMargaret tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kickedand pounded her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and thenCousin Harriet come down on her like a scow load of brick. 

"'Haven't I told you, ' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose thechild in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature, ' she says toGrace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Verywell, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poornerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? Thecreature is absolutely stupid at times, ' she says, talkin' about thatpoor maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's thanif she was a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't haveArchibald's spirit broken for anything. '

"'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyfulmeal, now I tell you. 

"There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed, havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about hiswhiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that. Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't havelet her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box ofcandy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam gotout his plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lineddolmans and knit clouds, and was ready for the hack. 

"'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way, ' says Sam tome and Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is yourhouse to-night, you know; servants and all. '

"'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I. 

"'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give itto her, ' he says, winkin' on the side. 

"But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him. She flew up like a settin' hen. 

"'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was toattempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen. I shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not tointerfere in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child. '

"So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney lookeddisappointed when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore hegive that promise. "

CHAPTER XI

IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS

"So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?"observed Wingate. 

"They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too muchstyle. 

"After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, orwhatever you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs. 

"'Now, ' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table. '

"But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wantedanything. ' We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in myshirt sleeves that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd oughtto blush. And in a minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE wedidn't want anything. Sim was hitchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves'and Archibald, his temper was raw on the edges. 

"'Say, ' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need isfresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'

"The girl looked at him with her mouth open. 

"'Oh, ' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leaveno one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was tobe made perfectly comf'table, and--'

"'Yes, ' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'tablewith you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, andtake the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipperhere till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'yehear?'

"There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so thedownstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside. 

"'There, ' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back inone chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to behomey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's gotnerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pass over that cigar box, Hiram. '

"'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, camedownstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contentedby that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door. 

"'Is that young one asleep?' he asked. 

"'Yes, sir, ' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you wantanything?'

"Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They'veall got it. No, we don't want anything, except--What's the matter? YOUdon't need fresh air, do you?'

"The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face waspale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'. 

"'No, sir, ' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir. '

"'She's tired out, that's all, ' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing. 'You go somewheres and take a nap, ' I told her. 'Me and my friend won'ttell. '

"Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired--no moretired than usual--but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately, askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy. 

"We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business, and she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns backagain. 

"'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'. 'Sure I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name ofMichael O'Shaughnessy?'

"Me and Sim looked at each other. 'Which?' says I. 'Mike O' who?' saysSimeon. 

"'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs. 'DON'T you know him? Sure I hopedyou might. If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me knees andpray for you. O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like this? What'llbecome of me?'

"And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands andcryin' as if her heart was broke. 

"'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up. He's akind-hearted man--especially to nice-lookin' females. 'Don't act so, ' hesays. 'Be a good girl. Come right back into the settin' room and tellme all about it. Me and Cap'n Baker ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich, neither. You can talk to us. Come, come!'

"She didn't know how to act, seemingly. She was like a dog that's beenkicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head. And she was cryin'and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that it took a goodwhile to get at the real yarn. But we did get it, after a spell. 

"It seems that the girl--her whole name was Margaret Sullivan--hadbeen in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in asteamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over there. Hisname was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in America for four yearsor more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island City. And he'd got a goodjob at last, and he sent for her to come on and be married to him. And when she landed 'twas the cousin that met her. Mike had drawn afive-thousand-dollar prize in the Mexican lottery a week afore, andhadn't been seen sence. 

"So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay. And she found them pooras Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to feed thedozen or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like her. And so, havin' no money, she goes out one day to an intelligence office wherethey deal in help, and puts in a blank askin' for a job as servant girl. 'Twas a swell place, where bigbugs done their tradin', and there sheruns into Cousin Harriet, who was a chronic customer, always out ofservants, owin' to the complications of Archibald and nerves. AndHarriet hires her, because she was pretty and would work for a shavin'more'n nothin', and carts her right off to Connecticut. And whenMargaret sets out to write for her trunk, and to tell where she is, shefinds she's lost the cousin's address, and can't remember whether it'sUmpty-eighth Street or Tin Can Avenue. 

"'And, oh, ' says she, 'what SHALL I do? The mistress is that hard toplease, and the child is that wicked till I want to die. And I have nomoney and no friends. O Mike! Mike!' she says. 'If you only knew you'dcome to me. For it's a good heart he has, although the five thousanddollars carried away his head, ' says she. 

"I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more thanI done that O'Shaughnessy man's. The mean blackguard, to leave his girlthat way. And 'twas easy to see what she'd been through with CousinHarriet and that brat. We tried to comfort her all we could; promised tohave a hunt through Long Island and the directory, and to help get heranother place when she got back from the South, and so on. But 'twaskind of unsatisfactory. 'Twas her Mike she wanted. 

"'I told the Father about it at the church up there, ' she says, 'and hewrote, but the letters was lost, I guess. And I thought if I might seea priest here in New York he might help me. But the mistress is to go atnoon to-morrer, and I'll have no time. What SHALL I do?' says she, andcommenced to cry again. 

"Then I had an idea. 'Priest?' says I. 'There's a fine big church, witha cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk from this house. I see it as we was comin' up. Why don't you run down there this minute?'I says. 

"No, she didn't want to leave Archibald. Suppose he should wake up. 

"'All right, ' says I. 'Then I'll go myself. And I'll fetch a priest uphere if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller does the codfishin the advertisin' picture. '

"I didn't have to tote him. He lived in a mighty fine house, hitchedonto the church, and there was half a dozen assistant parsons to helphim do his preachin'. But he was big and fat and gray-haired and asjolly and as kind-hearted a feller as you'd want to meet. He said he'dcome right along; and he done it. 

"Phinney opened the door for us. 'What's the row?' says I, lookin' athis face. 

"'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six. That da--excuse me, mister--that cussed Archibald has woke up. '

"He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it. And he was raisin' hob, too. The candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in line with hisdisposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs enough to wake thedead. Margaret leaned over the balusters. 

"'Is it the Father?' she says. 'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'

"'Send some of the other servants to the boy, ' says the priest, 'andcome down yourself. '

"Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the otherservants. Father McGrath--that was his name--laughed and shook all over. 

"'Very well, ' says he. 'Then bring the young man down. Perhaps he'll bequiet here. '

"So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the OldScratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty, witha rope around the middle of it. The young one spotted Simeon, and set upa whoop. 

"'Oh! there's the funny whiskers, ' he sings out. 

"'Good evenin', my son, ' says the priest. 

"'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable. 'I never saw such ared fat man. What makes him so red and fat?'

"These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler. He laughed, ofcourse, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard. 

"'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he. 

"'Yes, I do, ' says Archibald. 'Fat and red and funny. Most as funny asthe whisker man. I never saw such funny-lookin' people. '

"He commenced to point and holler and laugh. Poor Margaret was soshocked and mortified she didn't know what to do. 

"'Stop your noise, sonny, ' says I. 'This gentleman wants to talk to yournurse. '

"The answer I got was some unexpected. 

"'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sundayboots. 'Why do you wear shoes like that? Can't you help it? You'refunny, too, aren't you? You're funnier than the rest of 'em. '

"We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to askMargaret some questions. I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the wayfrom the church, and he was interested. But the questionin' was mightyunsatisfyin'. Archibald was the whole team, and the rest of us wasyeller dogs under the wagon. 

"'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last, losin' histemper and speakin' pretty sharp. 

"'O Archie, dear! DO be a nice boy, ' begs Margaret, for the eighthundredth time. 

"'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'

"'Father, dear, I can't. The mistress says he's so sensitive that he hasto have his own way. I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on him. '

"'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie, ' says I. 

"'I won't, ' says Archibald. 'I'm goin' to stay here and see the fat manmake faces. '

"'You see, ' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause wepromised his ma not to interfere. And my right hand's got cramps in thepalm of it this minute, ' he adds, glarin' at the young one. 

"Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat. Margaret began to cry. Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture. And just then thefront-door bell rang. 

"For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come back, but then I knew it was hours too early for that. Margaret was too muchupset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell myself. And who inthe world should be standin' on the steps but that big Dempsey man, theboss of the Golconda House, where me and Simeon had been stayin'; thefeller we'd spoke to that very mornin'. 

"'Good evenin', sor, ' says he, in a voice as deep as a well. 'I'm gladto find you to home, sor. There's a telegram come for you at my place, 'he says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he come for thebaggage this afternoon, I brought it along to yez. I was comin' thisway, so 'twas no trouble. '

"'That's real kind of you, ' I says. 'Step inside a minute, won't you?'

"So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand, whileI tore open the telegram envelope. 'Twas a message from a feller I knewwith the Clyde Line of steamboats. He had found out, somehow, that wewas in New York, and the telegram was an order for us to come and makehim a visit. 

"'I hope it's not bad news, sor, ' says the big chap. 

"'No, no, ' says I. 'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey. Come on in and have acigar, won't you?'

"'Thank you, sor, ' says he. 'I'm glad it's not the bad news. Sure, I axyou and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', butI'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone. '

"'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr. Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and--'

"'Excuse me, sor, ' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seenthe sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the businessa while ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy, sor. '

"'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'

"'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I--'

"'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'

"He bristled up like a cat. 

"'Michael O'Shaughnessy, ' he roars, like the bull of Bashan. 'D'yezfind any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me--Michael PatrickO'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know--WHAT'S THAT?'

"'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nursegirl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin'back and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale. 

"'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us! MIKE!'

"And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as whiteas she was. 

"'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another. 

"Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall. Meand Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrathwas cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, setsup a whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope ofthe blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the dooron him. 

"'And now, ' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to theparlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit. '

"We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry, was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Thenthere was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and FatherMcGrath opened it. There they was, the two of 'em--Mike andMaggie--lookin' red and foolish--but happy, don't talk!

"'You see, sor, ' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas thefive-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade, sor--larnin' to tind bar it was--and I'd just got a new job where thepay was pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' forthe little flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew thatprize. And the joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It putme out for two weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, whereI'd gone to collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone, and I knew me job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sickit took me three days more to make up me mind to come to me CousinTim's, where I knew Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come backshe was gone, too. '

"'And then, ' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on anotherspree, and spent the rest of the money. '

"'I did not, sor--axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence. I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I putme three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who wasrunnin' the Golconda House--'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bartrade--and I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poorgirl, and advertisin' and--'

"'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike. 'And is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat! Sureit's a proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'

"And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastenedthe libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one'ssensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told theO'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with alongof Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad. 

"'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, whohad arrived by now. 

"'That's the one, ' says I. 

"Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever. 

"'Father McGrath, ' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marryus this night?'

"'I can, ' says the Father. 

"'And will yez?'

"'I will, with pleasure. '

"'Maggie, ' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with theFather and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to yourlady when she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more. We'll send foryour trunk to-morrer. '

"Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave thatI suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last. 

"'But, Mike, dear, ' she says. 'I--oh, your lovely hat! Put it down, Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'

"Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'ddug up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now hewas dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum. 

"'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug wasa crown of glory to her. 

"'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for theboy. 

"'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over thecorner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and itfell flat, too. 

"'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat, Mike!'

"Mike's face was like a sunset. 

"'Your reverence, ' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to"obey" in the marriage service?'

"'She does, ' says Father McGrath. 

"'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do? Well, then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to givethat small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me? Will yez obey me, or will yez not?'

"She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to--her fingerswas itchin' to do it, but--And then Archie held up the ruins of the hatand commenced to laugh. 

"That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' whathe'd been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the backnumbers along with it, too. 

"And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me withthe most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says he:

"'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram. We promised not to interfere. '"

"What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?" asked CaptainSol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous chastisementhad subsided. 

"We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I laid for him inthe hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a telegramand must leave immediate. He wanted to know why, and a whole lot more, but I told him we'd write it. Neither Sim nor me cared to face CousinHarriet after her darlin' son had spun his yarn. Ha! ha! I'd like tohave seen her face--from a safe distance. "

Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat. "Referrin' to themautomobiles, " he said, "I--"

"Say, Sol, " interrupted Wingate, "did I ever tell you of Cap'n Jonadab'sand my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New York?"

"No, " replied the astounded depot master. "Took up by the POLICE?"

"Um--hm. Surprises you, don't it? Well, that whole trip was a surpriseto me. 

"When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked himinstead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on tohis nose and grinnin' for pure joy. 

"'Hurt?' says he. 'Why, some. But think of it! Only think of it! Ididn't believe Bill had it in him. '

"Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York planon to me. I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a manwith a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab hadworried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose witha notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me. I set and looked at him. 

"'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla, ' he says. 'I ain't been to New York sence Iwas mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the eighties. Thatis, to stop I ain't. That time we went through on the way to Peter T. 'sweddin' don't count, 'cause we only went in the front door and out theback, like Squealer Wixon went through high school. Let's you and me goand stay two or three days and have a real high old time, ' says he. 

"I fetched a long breath. 'Jonadab, ' I says, don't scare a feller thisway; I've got a weak heart. If you're goin' to start in and be divilishin your old age, why, do it kind of gradual. Let's go over to thebilliard room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a five-cent cigar, just to break the ice. '

"But that only made him mad. 

"'You talk like a fish, ' he says. 'I mean it. Why can't we go? It'sSeptember, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you and me'sdone well--fur's profits are concerned--and we ought to have a change, anyway. We've got to stay here in Orham all winter. '

"'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him. 

"Yes, he had. 'It won't be so awful expensive, ' he says. 'I've got somestock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's Fall River. Andwe can take a lunch to eat on the boat. And a stateroom's a dollar;that's fifty cents apiece. And my daughter's goin' to Denboro on avisit next week, so I'd have to pay board if I stayed to home. Come on, Barzilla! don't be so tight with your money. '

"So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter tofeed me free gratis for nothin' when I got back. And when we started, on the followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be at the depotat two o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left at quarter pastthree. 

"I didn't sleep much that night on the boat. For one thing, ourstateroom was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and justunder the fog whistle; and for another, the supper that Jonadab hadbrought, bein' mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the best cargo totake to bed with you. But it didn't make much diff'rence, 'cause weturned out at four, so's to see the scenery and git our money's worth. What was left of the doughnuts and cheese we had for breakfast. 

"We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a hotel. I was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we hove in sightof a place that looked sociable and not too expensive. But no; Jonadabhad it all settled for me. We was goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn, ' aboardin' house where he'd put up once when he was mate of the Emma Snow. He said 'twas a fine place and you could git as good ham and eggs thereas a body'd want to eat. 

"So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's, ' and of all the times gittin' to aplace--don't talk! We asked no less than nine policemen and one hundredand two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car fares, whichpretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart. However, we found it, finally, 'wayoff amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler carts and children, andit wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but was down in the shippin'list as the 'Golconda House. ' Jonadab said the neighborhood had changedsome sence he was there, but he guessed we'd better chance it, 'causethe board was cheap. 

"We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set down onthe edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock, as you mightsay. 

"'Now, I tell you, Jonadab, ' says I; 'we don't want to waste no time, and we've got the day afore us. What do you say if we cruise alongthe water front for a spell? There's ha'f a dozen Orham folks aboarddiff'rent steamers that hail from this port, and 'twouldn't be no more'nneighborly to call on 'em. There's Silas Baker's boy, Asa--he's with theSavannah Line and he'd be mighty glad to see us. And there's--'

"But Jonadab held up his hand. He'd been mysterious as a baker's mincepie ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to do when we'dgot to New York. And now he out with it. 

"'Barzilla, ' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to thewharves with you, first rate. And we will go, too. But afore we doanything else I've got an errand that must be attended to. 'Twas giveto me by a dyin' man, ' he says, 'and I promised him I'd do it. So thatcomes first of all. '

"He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had beenpinned in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so ofleather strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked old enoughto be Methusalem's will, pretty nigh. 

"'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks. 

"'Who?' says I. 'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little oldshack back of your barn? Course I do. But he's been dead for I don'tknow how long. '

"'I know he has. Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from home?'

"'Let's see, ' I says. 'Seems to me I do. Freckled, red-headed rooster, wa'n't he? And of all the imps of darkness that ever--'

"'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn. 'Don't say that now, Barzilla. Soundskind of irreverent. Well, me and old Pat was pretty friendly, in a way, though he did owe me rent. When he was sick with the pleurisy he sendsfor me and he says, "Cap'n 'Wixon, " says he, "you're pretty close withthe money, " he says--he was kind of out of his head at the time andliable to say foolish things--"you're pretty close, " he says, "butyou're a man of your word. My boy Jimmie, that run away, was the appleof my eye. "'

"'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up forstealin' Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons, ' I says. 'He had a healthy cropof apples in HIS orchard. '

"'S-sh-h! DON'T talk so! I feel as if the old man's spirit was withus this minute. "He's the apple of my eye, " he says, "and he run away, after me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon spoke. 'Twas allfor his good, but he didn't understand, bein' but a child. And now I'veheard, " he says, "that he's workin' at 116 East Blank Street in the cityof New York. Cap'n Wixon, you're a man of money and a travelin' man, " hesays (I was fishin' in them days). "When you go to New York, " he says, "I want you to promise me to go to the address on this paper and huntup Jimmie. Tell him I forgive him for lickin' him, " he says, "and diehappy. Will you promise me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?"And I promised him. And he died in less than ten months afterwards, poorthing. '

"'But that was sixteen--eighteen--nineteen years ago, ' says I. 'And theboy run away three years afore that. You've been to New York in the pastnineteen years, once anyhow. '

"'I know it. But I forgot. I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot. And whenI was goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday, seein' what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I comeacross my old writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper withthe address on it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New Yorkin three days! Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me tothat attic. '

"I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' bytheir remarks when the contribution came in. But I was too much set backby the whole crazy business to say anything about that. 

"'Look here, Jonadab Wixon, ' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me thatwe've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to find a boythat run off twenty-two years ago?'

"'It won't take the forenoon, ' he says. 'I've got the number, ain't I?'

"'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS. If you want to know where Ithink he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail. '

"But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to cutthe argument short, I agreed to go. And off we put to hunt up 116East Blank Street. And when we located it, after a good hour of askin'questions, and payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe leather, 'twas aChinese laundry. 

"'Well, ' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be. Which one of the heathen do youthink is Jimmie? If he had an inch or so more of upper lip, I'd gambleon that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on his feet. He hasa kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his eye. Oh, come down onthe wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible. '

"Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied. We must go into the washshop and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly. So we went in andthe powwow begun. 

"'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview. Jonadab's idea of talkin' tofurriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef. If they don'tunderstand what you say, yell louder. So between his yells and theheathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a cat in a henyard. Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen and grin. 

"'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me. 

"'I don't know, ' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to senda note up to the crazy asylum. Come on out of here afore I go loonymyself. '

"So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that allChinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country. But hewouldn't give up, not yet. He must scare up some of the neighbors andask them. The fifth man that we asked was an old chap who rememberedthat there used to be a liquor saloon once where the laundry was now. But he didn't know who run it or what had become of him. 

"'Never mind, ' I says. 'You're as warm as you're likely to be this trip. A rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy WOULD bein. And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his dad's side, hedrank himself to death years ago. NOW will you head for the SavannahLine?'

"Not much, he wouldn't. He had another notion. We'd look in thedirectory. That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in itsneighborhood, so we found an apothecary store and the clerk handed usout a book once again as big as a church Bible. 

"'Kelly, ' says Jonadab. 'Yes, here 'tis. Now, "James Kelly. " Land ofLove! Barzilla, look here. '

"I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James Kellysbeginning with fifty James A. 's and endin' with four James Z. 's. The Yin 'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that directory. 

"'Godfrey mighty!' I says. 'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab. Ifyou're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of yourlife here. Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have to changeyour name to Kelly. '

"'If I'd only got his middle letter, ' says he, mournful, ''twould havebeen easier. He had four middle names, if I remember right--the old manwas great on names--and 'twas too much trouble to write 'em all down. Well, I've done my duty, anyhow. We'll go and call on Ase Baker. '

"But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese Ihad for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted company. So wedecided to go back to the Golconda and have some dinner first. 

"We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the lasttime Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late. Lucky there was hot bread andcoffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal. Then we went up toour room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed. He was beat out, he said, and wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin' anchor for another cruise. "

CHAPTER XII

A VISION SENT

"Where's the arrestin' come in?" demanded Stitt. 

"Comes quick now, Bailey. Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab, I tellyou that! After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep pretty soonand I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and wishin' I hadn'tate so many of the warm bricks that the Golconda folks hoped wasbiscuit. They made me feel like a schooner goin' home in ballast. Iguess I was drowsin' off myself, but there comes a most unearthly yellfrom the bed and I jumped ha'f out of the chair. There was Jonadabsettin' up and lookin' wild. 

"'What in the world?' says I. 

"'Oh! Ugh! My soul!' says he. 

"'Your soul, hey?' says I. 'Is that all? I thought mebbe you'd lost aquarter. '

"'Barzilla, ' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn, 'Barzilla, I've had a dream--a wonderful dream. '

"'Well, ' I says, 'I ain't surprised. A feller that h'isted in as muchfried dough as you did ought to expect--'

"'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream, ' he says. 'I dreamed I was onBlank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly comes to meand p'ints his finger right in my face. I see him as plain as I seeyou now. And he says to me--he said it over and over, two or threetimes--Seventeen, " says he, "Seventeen. " Now what do you think of that?'

"'Humph!' I says. 'I ain't surprised. I think 'twas just seventeenof them biscuits that you got away with. Wonder to me you didn't seesomebody worse'n old Pat. '

"But he was past jokin'. You never see a man so shook up by thenightmare as he was by that one. He kept goin' over it and tellin' hownatural old Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen' to him. 

"'Now what did he mean by it?' he says. 'Don't tell me that was a commondream, 'cause twa'n't. No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me, and I knowit. But what did he mean?'

"'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot, ' I snorts, disgusted. 'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will you?He didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill, that's sartinsure. '

"Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind blowin'to. 'I've got it!' he sings out. 'He meant for me to go to numberseventeen on that street. That's what he meant. '

"I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved mybreath. He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from thehereafter to tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his boy. 'Elsewhy was he ON Blank Street?' he says. 'You tell me that. '

"I couldn't tell him. It's enough for me to figger out what makes livefolks act the way they do, let alone dead ones. And Cap'n Jonadab was aSpiritu'list on his mother's side. It ended by my agreein' to give theJimmie chase one more try. 

"'But it's got to be the last, ' I says. 'When you get to numberseventeen don't you say you think the old man meant to say "seventy" andstuttered. '

"Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper storerun by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a molassescooky. His talk sounded as if it had been run through a meat chopper. All he could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men? On'y fifteen cent a pound. Nica grape? Nica apple? Nica pear? Nica ploom?'

"'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual. 'Kelly! d'ye understand?K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly. YOU know, KELLY! We want to find him. '

"And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three footthrough. He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to seed, andyou could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass di'mond init. Oh, he was a little wilted now--for the lack of water, I judge--but'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his time. He'd just come outof a liquor store next door to the fruit shop and was wipin' his mouthwith the back of his hand. 

"'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back likea mast goin' by the board. 'Is it me friend Kelly you're lookin' for?'

"I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab cutin ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller had landedhim, but excited as could be. 

"'Yes, yes!' says he. 'It's Mr. Kelly we want. Do you know him?'

"'Do I know him? Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is. Come onwith me and we'll give him the glad hand. '

"He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk, steerin' atoler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks. 

"'I was on me way to Kelly's place now, ' says he. 'And here it is. Suredidn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday--or was it theday before? I don't know, but come on, me lads, and we'll do him again. '

"He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up aflight of dirty stairs. I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails and pulledhim back. 

"'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered. 'Can't you see he'sthree sheets in the wind? And you haven't told him what Kelly you want, nor nothin'. '

"But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall. 'I don't care ifhe's as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat, ' sputters the Cap'n, all worked up. 'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he? And is it likelythere'd be another one within three doors of the number I dreamedabout? Didn't I tell you that dream was a vision sent? Don't lay to NOW, Barzilla, for the land sakes! It's Providence a-workin'. '

"'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent fromt'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then hecommenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first. 

"'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar andswingin' back and forth. 'Before we proceed to blow in on me friendKelly, let us come to an understandin' concernin' and touchin'on--and--and--I don't know. But b'ys, ' says he, solemn and confidential, 'are you on the square? Are yez dead game sports, hey?'

"'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab. 'Course we be. Mr. Kelly and us are oldfriends. We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see him. Nowwhere's--'

"'Say no more, ' hollers the feller. 'Say no more. Come on with yez. ' Andhe marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let' sign on it andfetches it a bang with his fist. It opens a little ways and a face showsin the crack. 

"'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful. 'Will you take that uglymug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'

"'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door. 'Yercan't bring them two yaps in here and you know it. Gwan out of this. '

"He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot between itand the jamb. You might as well have tried to shove in the broadside ofan ocean liner as to push against that foot. 

"'These gents are friends of mine, ' says he. 'Frank, I'll do yez thehonor of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell. Open thatdoor and compose your face before I'm obliged to break both of 'em. '

"'But I tell you, Mike, I can't, ' says the door man, lookin' scared. 'The boss is out, and you know--'

"'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap. And with that he hovehis shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by main force, all but flattenin' the other feller behind it. 'Walk in, Gin'ral, ' hesays to Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what was comin' next, andnot darin' to guess. 

"There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another doorin the partition. We opened that, and there was a good-sized room, filled with men, smokin' and standin' around. A high board fence wasacrost one end of the room, and from behind it comes a jinglin' oftelephone bells and the sounds of talk. The floor was covered withtorn papers, the window blinds was shut, the gas was burnin' blue, and, between it and the smoke, the smells was as various as them in a fishglue factory. On the fence was a couple of blackboards with 'Belmont'and 'Brighton' and suchlike names in chalk wrote on 'em, andbeneath that a whole mess in writin' and figures like, 'Red Tail4--Wt--108--Jock Smith--5--1, ' 'Sourcrout 5--Wt--99--Jock Jones--20--5, 'and similar rubbish. And the gang--a mighty mixed lot--was scribblin'in little books and watchin' each other as if they was afraid of havin'their pockets picked; though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed thebiggest part had nothin' in their pockets but holes. 

"The six-foot checkerboard--who, it turned out, answered to the hail of'Mike'--seemed to be right at home with the gang. He called most of 'emby their first names and went sasshayin' around, weltin' 'em on the backand tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the bookies rolls t'other day, 'and a lot more stuff that they seemed to understand, but was hog Greekto me and Jonadab. He'd forgot us altogether which was a mercy the way Ilooked at it, and I steered the Cap'n over into a corner and we come toanchor on a couple of rickety chairs. 

"'What--why--what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers Jonadab, scared. 

"'Sh-h-h!' says I. 'Land knows. Just set quiet and hang on to yourwatch. '

"'But--but I want to find Kelly, ' says he. 

"'I'd give somethin' to find a back door, ' says I. 'Ain't this acollection of dock rats though! If this is a part of your dream, Jonadab, I wish you'd turn over and wake up. Oh land! here's onemurderer headin' this way. Keep your change in your fist and keep thefist shut. '

"A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no necktie, comes slinkin' over to us. He had a smile like a crack in a plate. 

"'Say, gents, ' he says, 'have you made your bets yet? I've got a deadstraight line on the handicap, ' says he, 'and I'll put you next for aone spot. It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three. What do you say?'

"I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round inJonadab's skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for ashot. 

"'See here, mister, ' he says. 'Can you tell me where to locate Mr. Kelly?'

"'Who--Pete?' says the feller. 'Oh, he ain't in just now. But about thathandicap. I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse in for a dollar. Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half. Only fifty cents. I wouldn't dobetter for my own old man, ' he says. 

"While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I spokeup prompt. 

"'Say, ' says I, 'tell me this, will you? Is the Kelly who ownsthis--this palace, named Jimmie--James, I mean?'

"'Naw, ' says he. 'Sure he ain't. It's Pete Kelly, of course--SilverPete. But what are you givin' us? Are you bettin' on the race, or ain'tyou?'

"Well, Jonadab understood that. He bristled up like a brindled cat. If there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin' andsuch--always exceptin' when he knows he's won already. You've seen thatkind, maybe. 

"'Young feller, ' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and myfriend ain't the bettin' kind. What sort of a hole IS this, anyway?'

"The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried. He goes acrostthe room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other thieves as toughas himself. And they commenced to stare at us and scowl. 

"'Come on, ' I whispered to Jonadab. 'Let's get out of this place whilewe can. There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you don't wantto find him. '

"He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we headedfor the door in the partition. But Rubber Collar and some of the othersgot acrost our bows. 

"'Cut it out, ' says one of 'em. 'You can't get away so easy. Hi, Frank!Frank! Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow? Who are they?'

"The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop. 'You've got me, 'he says. 'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and scrappy andjammed 'em through. Said they was pals of his. Where is he?'

"There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, therehe was keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve. And anadmiral's salute wouldn't have woke him up. The whole crew was round usby this time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin' on. 

"'It's the Barkwurst gang, ' says one. 

"'It's old Bark himself, ' says another. 'Look at them lace curtains. 'And he points to Jonadab's whiskers. 

"'This one's Jacobs in disguise, ' sings out somebody else. 'You can tellhim by the Rube get-up. Haw! haw!'

"'Soak 'em! Do 'em up! Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen more. 

"Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him. And I hadn't been second matein my time for nothin'. 

"'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n. 'I come in here to finda man I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and--You would, would you!Stand by, Barzilla!'

"I stood by. Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember homeand mother, I'll bet. Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days afterwards. And Jonadab was just as busy. But I cal'late we'd have been ready forthe oven in another five minutes if the door hadn't bu'st open with abang, and a loud dressed chap, with the sweat pourin' down his face, come tearin' in. 

"'Beat it, fellers!' he yells. 'The place is goin' to be pinched. I'vejust had the tip, and they're right on top of me. '

"THEN there was times. Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and fallin'over each other to get out. I was kind of lost in the shuffle, andthe next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on Rubber Collar'sstomach and lookin' foggy at the door, where the loud dressed man waswrestlin' with a policeman. And there was police at the windows and allaround. 

"Well, don't talk! I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap ofgamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner. Thepolice was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-mustachedman, with gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest called 'Cap'n. 'Him and the loud dressed chap who'd give the alarm was talkin' earnestclose to us. 

"'I can't help it, Pete, ' says the police cap'n. ''Twas me or the ViceSuppression crowd. They've been on to you for two weeks back. I onlyjust got in ahead of 'em as it was. No, you'll have to go along withthe rest and take your chances. Quiet now, everybody, or you'll get itharder, ' he roars, givin' orders like the skipper of a passenger boat. 'Stand in line and wait your turns for the wagon. '

"Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist. He was pale and shakin' all over. 

"'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up. Will we have to go to jail, doyou think?'

"'I don't know, ' I says, disgusted. 'I presume likely we will. Did youdream anything like this? You'd better see if you can't dream yourselfout now. ' Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad. 

"'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands. 'And me a deacon of the church!Will folks know it, do you think?'

"'Will they know it! Sounds as if they knew it already. Just listen tothat. '

"The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the frontdoor, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em. Judgin' by the whoops andhurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the show, and theywas gettin' the wuth of admission. 

"'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab. 'And it'll be in the papers and all! Ican't stand this. '

"And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the headpoliceman. 

"'Mister--Mister Cap'n, ' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake, anawful mis--take--'

"'That's right, ' says the police cap'n, 'there has. Six or eight of youtin horns got clear. But--' Then he noticed who was speakin' to himand his mouth dropped open like a hatch. 'Well, saints above!' he says. 'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain'tyou back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed. '

"'But we wa'n't gamblin'--me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in hereby mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we'rehuntin' for a man of that name. I've got a message to him from his poordead father back in Orham. We come all the way from Orham, Mass. --tofind him and--'

"The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard. 'Humph!'says he, after a spell. 'Go over there and set down till I want you. No, you'll go now and we'll waste no breath on it. Go on, do you hear!'

"So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of thegang and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones and BigMike and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon. Once, when one ofthe constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the police cap'n spoke tohim. 

"'You can leave these two, ' he says. 'I'll take care of them. '

"So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us andsome of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and heads forthe door. 

"'Now, ' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all aboutit. Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys and loaferson the sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too. '

"The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted that wewa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us two paradedalong slow but grand. I felt like the feller that was caught robbin'the poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same, only he was sobusy beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he couldn't stop to feelanything. 

"He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other. How oldPat give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and about hisridiculous dream, every word. And the fat policeman shook all over, likea barrel of cod livers. 

"By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to. I could seethe station house loomin' up large ahead. Fatty took a card from hispocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack, one ofthem stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way aft. He pushedback the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I could see his red hairshinin' like a sunset. 

"'Here, ' says he to the hack driver, 'take these--this pair of saladsto the--what d'ye call it?--the Golconda House, wherever on top of thepavement that is. And mind you, deliver 'em safe and don't let the truckhorses get a bite at 'em. And at half-past eight to-night you call for'em and bring 'em here, ' handin' up the card he'd written on. 

"''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin', ' he says, turnin' toJonadab. 'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk about oldtimes. To think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool room! Dear! dear!Why, Cap'n Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers are a bit longer and ataste grayer, I'd 'a' known you anywheres. Many's the time I've stoleapples over your back fence. I'm Jimmie Kelly, ' says he. "

"Well, by mighty!" exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee. "So HEwas the Kelly man! Humph!"

"Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?" said Barzilla. "Course, Cap'nJonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens and suchafter that. He's had his fortune told no less'n eight times sence, and, nigh's I can find out, each time it's different. The amount of blondesand brunettes and widows and old maids that he's slated to marry, accordin' to them fortune tellers, is perfectly scandalous. If he livesup to the prophecies, Brigham Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside ofhim. "

"It's funny about dreams, " mused Captain Hiram. "Folks are alwaystellin' about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did. I used todream I was goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet. "

The depot master laughed. "Well, " he observed, "once, when I was ayoungster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung. I askedmy Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and he saidyes, sometimes. Then I told him my dream, and he said he believed inthat one. I judged that any other finish for me would have surprisedhim. But, somehow or other, they haven't hung me yet. "

"There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat onfortune tellin', " said Wingate. "Her name was Effie, and--"

"Look here!" broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in histone, "I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell youabout how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it, or don't you?"

"How you went SAILIN' in an auto?" repeated Barzilla. "Went ridin', youmean. "

"I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but--"

"You'll have to excuse me, Bailey, " interrupted Captain Hiram, risingand looking at his watch. "I've stayed here a good deal longer'n Iought to, already. I must be gettin' on home to see how poor littleDusenberry, my boy, is feelin'. I do hope he's better by now. I wish Dr. Parker hadn't gone out of town. "

The depot master rose also. "And I'll have to be excused, too, " hedeclared. "It's most time for the up train. Good-by, Hiram. Give myregards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help, in caseyour baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?"

"But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape, " protested CaptainBailey. "It was one of them things that don't happen every day. "

"So was that fortune business of Effie's, " declared Wingate. "Honest, the way it worked out was queer enough. "

But the train whistled just then and the group broke up. Captain Solwent out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker, BeriahHiggins, Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had already assembled. Wingate and Stitt followed. As for Captain Hiram Baker, he hurried home, his conscience reproving him for remaining so long away from his wifeand poor little Hiram Joash, more familiarly known as "Dusenberry. "

CHAPTER XIII

DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY

Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door. 

"How is he?" was the Captain's first question. "Better, hey?"

"No, " was the nervous answer. "No, I don't think he is. His throat'sterrible sore and the fever's just as bad. "

Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him. 

"Dear! dear!" he exclaimed. "And I've been loafin' around the depotwith Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home with you, Sophrony. I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't realize--"

"Course you didn't, Hiram. I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest, afterbein' up with him half the night. I do wish the doctor was home, though. When will he be back?"

"Not until late to-morrer, if then. Did you keep on givin' themedicine?"

"Yes, but it don't seem to do much good. You go and set with him now, Hiram. I must be seein' about supper. "

So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib andsing "Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow, " as a lugubriouslullaby. 

Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled. He was in a fitful slumber whenMrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything buta cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily socheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them. 

"My! my!" sighed Captain Hiram, "how lonesome it seems without himchatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was ashadow on the place. "

"Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way. A shadow! Oh, WHAT made you say that?Sounds like a warnin', almost. "

"Warnin'?"

"Yes, a forewarnin', you know. 'The valley of the shadow--'"

"HUSH!" Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn. "Don't say suchthings, Sophrony. If that happened, the Lord help you and me. But itwon't--it won't. We're nervous, that's all. We're always so careful ofDusenberry, as if he was made out of thin china, that we get fidgetywhen there's no need of it. We mustn't be foolish. "

After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom. She emerged with avery white face. 

"Hiram, " she whispered, "he acts dreadful queer. Come in and see him. "

The "first mate" was tossing back and forth in the crib, making oddlittle choky noises in his swollen throat. When his father entered heopened his eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: "'Tand by to det der shipunder way. "

"Good Lord! he's out of his head, " gasped the Captain. Sophronia and hestepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other, the samethought expressed in the face of each. Neither spoke for a moment, thenCaptain Hiram said:

"Now don't you worry, Sophrony. The Doctor ain't home, but I'm goin' outto--to telegraph him, or somethin'. Keep a stiff upper lip. It'll be allright. God couldn't go back on you and me that way. He just couldn't. I'll be back in a little while. "

"But, oh, Hiram! if he should--if he SHOULD be taken away, what WOULD wedo?"

She began to cry. Her husband laid a trembling hand on her shoulder. 

"But he won't, " he declared stoutly. "I tell you God wouldn't do such athing. Good-by, old lady. I'll hurry fast as I can. "

As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of theweary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters. "All handson deck!"

The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store. Thither ran theCaptain. Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as telegraphoperator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain Hiram littlesatisfaction. 

"How can I get Dr. Parker?" asked Pat. "He's off on a cruise and landknows where I can reach him to-night. I'll do what I can, Cap, but it'sten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to him. "

Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious toknow what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street, to therailway station. He thought of asking advice of his friend, the depotmaster. 

The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through thewaiting room. One or two passengers were standing on the platform. Oneof these was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side whiskers andeyeglasses. The initials on his suit case were J. S. M. , Boston, andthey stood for John Spencer Morgan. If the bearer of the suit case hadfollowed the fashion of the native princes of India and had emblazonedhis titles upon his baggage, the commonplace name just quoted might havebeen followed by "M. D. , LL. D. , at Harvard and Oxford; vice presidentAmerican Medical Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society ofSurgeons; lecturer at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases ofthe Throat and Lungs, ' etc. , etc. "

But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles orhimself, and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's depotwagon when Captain Hiram touched him on the arm. 

"Why, hello, Captain Baker, " exclaimed the Doctor, "how do you do?"

"Dr. Morgan, " said the Captain, "I--I hope you'll excuse my presumin' onyou this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a great favor. I want toask if you'll come down to the house and see the boy; he's on the sicklist. "

"What, Dusenberry?"

"Yes, sir. He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's considerableupsot about him. If you just come down and kind of take an observation, so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you might say, 'twould be amighty help to all hands. "

"But where's your town physician? Hasn't he been called?"

The Captain explained. He had inquired, and he had telegraphed, butcould get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts. 

The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in anabsent-minded way. Holidays were few and far between with him, and whenhe accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams to rundown for the week end he determined to forget the science of medicineand all that pertained to it for the four days of his outing. But anexacting patient had detained him long enough to prevent his taking thetrain that morning, and now, on the moment of his belated arrival, hewas asked to pay a professional call. He liked the Captain, who hadtaken him out fishing several times on his previous excursions to EastHarniss, and he remembered Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, buthe simply couldn't interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby. Besides, the child was Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethicsforbade interference. 

"Captain Hiram, " he said, "I am sorry to disappoint you, but it willbe impossible for me to do what you ask. Mr. Williams expected me thismorning, and I am late already. Dr. Parker will, no doubt, return soon. The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he would not have left him. "

The Captain slowly turned away. 

"Thank you, Doctor, " he said huskily. "I knew I hadn't no right to ask. "

He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand intohis left. When he reached the ticket window he put one hand against theframe as if to steady himself, and stood there listlessly. 

The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like a catabout the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit case, andofficiously led the way toward the depot wagon. Dr. Morgan followed moreslowly. As he passed the Captain he glanced up into the latter's face, lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside the window. 

The Doctor stopped and looked again. Then he took another step forward, hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:

"Wait a moment, Blount. Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?"

The Captain started. "No, sir, only a little ways. "

"All right. I'll go down and look at this boy of yours. Mind you, I'llnot take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all. Blount, take my grip to Mr. Williams's. I'm going to walk down with theCaptain. "

"Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!" muttered the first mate, as theycame into the room. The lamp that Sophronia was holding shook, and theCaptain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of his hand. 

Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the littlefevered face of Dusenberry. Graver and graver he became as he felt thepulse and peered into the swollen throat. At length he rose and led theway back into the sitting room. 

"Captain Baker, " he said simply, "I must ask you and your wife to bebrave. The child has diphtheria and--"

"Diphthery!" gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth. 

"Good Lord above!" cried the Captain. 

"Diphtheria, " repeated the Doctor; "and, although I dislike extremely tocriticize a member of my own profession, I must say that any physicianshould have recognized it. "

Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron. 

"Ain't there--ain't there no chance, Doctor?" gasped the Captain. 

"Certainly, there's a chance. If I could administer antitoxin byto-morrow noon the patient might recover. What time does the morningtrain from Boston arrive here?"

"Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts. "

Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines inpencil on one of the pages. Then he tore out the leaf and handed it tothe Captain. 

"Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston, " he said. "It directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train. If nothinginterferes it should be here in time. "

Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door bareheaded. 

Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking athis watch. Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly. At length he put hiswatch in his pocket and said quietly:

"Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room. I will take the case. "Then he added mentally: "And that settles my vacation. "

Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied with aprematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of appearing tenyears older than he really was. To these gifts, priceless to a youngmedical man, might be added boundless ambition and considerable commonsense. 

The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or deathto little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's Back Bayoffice at ten minutes past ten. Dr. Payson--that was the assistant'sname--was out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took the telegraminto his employer's office, laid it on the desk among the papers, andreturned to the hall to finish his nap in the armchair. When Dr. Paysoncame in, at 11:30, the sleepy Jackson forgot to mention the dispatch. 

The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in thekitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow envelopecame back to his brain. He went up the stairs with such precipitationthat the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit. 

"Doctah! Doctah!" he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant'schamber, "did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las' night?"

"What telegraph?" asked the assistant sleepily. By way of answer Jacksonhurried out and returned with the yellow envelope. The assistant openedit and read as follows:

Send 1, 500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train. Don't fail. Utmost importance. 

J. S. MORGAN. 

Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up theRailway Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. And C. C. Railroad and ran his finger down the printed tables. The morning trainfor Cape Cod left at 7:10. It was 6:45 at that moment. As has been said, the assistant had considerable common sense. He proved this by wastingno time in telling the forgetful Jackson what he thought of him. He sentthe latter after a cab and proceeded to dress in double-quick time. Tenminutes later he was on his way to the station with the little woodencase containing the precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in hispocket. 

It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab rattleddown Boylston Street. A tangle of a trolley car and a market wagondelayed it momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex Street. Dr. Payson, leaning out as the carriage swung into Dewey Square, saw by the bigclock on the Union Station that it was 7:13. He had lost the train. 

Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know thatexcuses--in the ordinary sense of the word--did not pass current withDr. Morgan. That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and said itwas important that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin must be sentin spite of time-tables and forgetful butlers. Dr. Payson went into thewaiting room and sat down to think. After a moment's deliberation hewent over to the ticket office and asked:

"What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?"

"Brockboro, " answered the ticket seller. 

"Is the train usually on time?"

"Well, I should smile. That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old manain't been conductor on this road twenty-two years for nothin'. "

"Mills? Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?"

"Dunno. Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?"

"Somewhere at the South End. Shawmut Avenue, I think. "

"Thank you, " said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-table, he went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room. He had stumbledupon an unexpected bit of luck. 

There might be another story written in connection with this one; thestory of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very, very illwith a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other physicianshad given up hope, had been brought back to health by a celebratedspecialist of our acquaintance. But this story cannot be told just now;suffice it to say that Conductor Charlie Mills had vowed that he wouldput his neck beneath the wheels of his own express train, if by so doinghe could confer a favor on Dr. John Spencer Morgan. 

The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express reachedBrockboro at 8:05. He went over to the telegraph office and wrote twotelegrams. The first read like this:

CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street, Brockboro, Mass. :

Send package 1, 500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name tostation. Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express. Train will wait. Matter life and death. 

The second telegram was to Conductor Mills. It read:

Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise. Great personal favor. Very important. 

Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, "J. S. Morgan, M. D. "

"Well, " said the assistant as he rode back to his office, "I don't knowwhether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or whether Millswill wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part. I hope breakfastis ready, I'm hungry. "

Mr. Wise, of "The People's Drug Store, " had exactly two minutes in whichto cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station. As a matter ofcourse, he was late. Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he was met by ared-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded what in the valeof eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting eight minutes. 

"Do you realize, " demanded the red-faced man, "that I'm liable to losemy job? I'll have you to understand that if any other man than Doc. Morgan asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell him to goright plumb to--"

Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that itwas a matter of life and death. Conductor Mills only grunted as he swungaboard the train. 

"Hump her, Jim, " he said to the engineer; "she's got to make up thoseeight minutes. "

And Jim did. 

And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July, Dusenberry's birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat together inthe sitting room, with very happy faces. The Captain had in his handsthe "truly boat with sails, " which the little first mate had so ardentlywished for. 

She was a wonder, that boat. Red hull, real lead on the keel, brassrings on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail, jib, flying jib and topsails, all complete. And on the stern was the name, "Dusenberry. East Harniss. "

Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor. 

"Gee!" he exclaimed, "won't his eyes stick out when he sees thatrig, hey? Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as weplanned. "

"Well, Hiram, " said Sophrony, "we hadn't ought to complain. We'd oughtto be thankful he's goin' to get well at all. Dr. Morgan says, thanks tothat blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around in a couple of weeks. "

"Sophrony, " said her husband, "we'll have a special birthday celebrationfor him when he gets all well. You can bake the frosted cake and we'llhave some of the other children in. I TOLD you God wouldn't be cruelenough to take him away. "

And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. And C. C. Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his birthday, andexplains why, as he strolled down Main Street that afternoon, CaptainHiram was heard to sing heartily:

 Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin', Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!

CHAPTER XIV

EFFIE'S FATE

Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on itsrollers up the Hill Boulevard. Right at its heels--if a house may besaid to have heels--came the "pure Colonial, " under the guidance of theforeman with "progressive methods. " Groups of idlers, male and female, stood about and commented. Simeon Phinney smilingly replied to theirquestions. Captain Sol himself seemed little interested. He spent mostof his daylight time at the depot, only going to the Higginses' housefor his meals. At night, after the station was closed, he sought his owndwelling, climbed over the joist and rollers, entered, retired to hisroom, and went to bed. 

Each day also he grew more taciturn. Even with Simeon, his particularfriend, he talked little. 

"What IS the matter with you, Sol?" asked Mr. Phinney. "You're as glumas a tongue-tied parrot. Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm doin' yourmovin'? The white horse can go back again if you say so. "

"I'm satisfied, " grunted the depot master. "Let you know when I'vegot any fault to find. How soon will you get abreast the--abreast theSeabury lot?"

"Let's see, " mused the building mover. "Today's the eighth. Well, I'llbe there by the eleventh, SURE. Can't drag it out no longer, Sol, even if the other horse is took sick. 'Twon't do. Williams has beencomplainin' to the selectmen and they're beginnin' to pester me. As forthat Colt and Adams foreman--whew!"

He whistled. His companion smiled grimly. 

"Williams himself drops in to see me occasional, " he said. "Tells mewhat he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added. I cal'late he getsas good as he sends. I'm always glad to see him; he keeps me cheered up, in his way. "

"Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder. Was he in to-day?"

"He was. And somethin' has pleased him, I guess. At any rate he was inbetter spirits. Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto that MainStreet lot soon as my house got there. "

"What did you say?"

"I said I was cal'latin' to. Told him I hated to get out of thehigh-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone hadtheir comedowns in this world. "

"Ho, ho! that was a good one. What answer did he make to that?"

"Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me. Then he finished upwith a piece of advice. 'Berry, ' says he, 'don't move onto that lot TOOquick. I wouldn't if I was you. ' Then he went away, chucklin'. "

"Chucklin', hey? What made him so joyful?"

"Don't know"--Captain Sol's face clouded once more--"and I care less, "he added brusquely. 

Simeon pondered. "Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?" he asked. "HasAb answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot for theMain Street one?"

"No, he hasn't. I wrote him that day I told you to move me. "

"Hum! that's kind of funny. You don't s'pose--"

He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face. The depotmaster was looking out through the open door of the waiting room. Onthe opposite side of the road, just emerging from Mr. Higgins's "generalstore, " was Olive Edwards, the widow whose home was to be pulled downas soon as the "Colonial" reached its destination. She came out ofthe store and started up Main Street. Suddenly, and as if obeying aninvoluntary impulse, she turned her head. Her eyes met those of CaptainSol Berry, the depot master. For a brief instant their glance met, thenMrs. Edwards hurried on. 

Sim Phinney sighed pityingly. "Looks kind of tired and worried, don'tshe?" he ventured. His friend did not speak. 

"I say, " repeated Phinney, "that Olive looks sort of worn out and--"

"Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?" interrupted the depot master. 

"No; Mr. Hilton says not. Sol, what DO you s'pose--"

But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office. The doorclosed behind him. Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out of thebuilding. On his way back to the scene of the house moving he shook hishead several times. 

On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friendWingate came to say good-by. Stitt was going back to Orham on the "up"train, due at 3:30. Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and the Old HomeHouse on the evening (the "down") train. 

"Hey, Sol!" shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room. "Sol!where be you?"

The depot master came out of the ticket office. "Hello, boys!" he saidshortly. 

"Hello, Sol!" hailed Stitt. "Barzilla and me have come to shed thefarewell tear. As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the OldHome House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've engaged allthe shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out. "

"Yes, " chimed in his fellow "hireling, " "and we thought the pleasantestplace to put in our few remainin' hours--as the papers say when afeller's goin' to be hung--was with you. "

"I thought so, " said Captain Bailey, with a wink. "We've been havin'more or less of an argument, Sol. Remember how Barzilla made fun ofJonadab Wixon for believin' in dreams? Yes, well that was only makebelieve. He believes in 'em himself. "

"I don't either, " declared Wingate. "And I never said so. What I saidwas that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin' IN fortunetellin' and such. "

"There is, " chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master. "There's money in it--for the fortune tellers. "

"I said--and I say again, " protested Barzilla, "that I knew a case atour hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she--"

"Oh, Heavens to Betsy! Here he goes again, I steered him in here onpurpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject. "

"You never neither. You said--"

The depot master held up his hand. "Don't both talk at once, " hecommanded. "Set down and be peaceful, can't you. That's right. Whatabout this Effie, Barzilla?"

"Now look here!" protested Stitt. 

"Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?"

"She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old HomeHouse, " said Wingate triumphantly. "Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes, this Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess ofspinach; but she was kind of pretty to look at and--"

"Ah, ha!" crowed Captain Bailey, "here comes the heart confessions. Wantto look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let usknow the worst. "

"I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me hertroubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad--"

"Aw, yes!" this from Stitt, the irrepressible. "That's an old gag. Weknow--"

"WILL you shut up?" demanded Captain Sol. "Go on, Barzilla. "

"Me bein' old enough to be her dad, " with a glare at Captain Bailey, "and not bein' too proud to talk with hired help. I never did have thathigh-toned notion. 'Twa'n't so long since I was a fo'mast hand. 

"So Effie told me a lot about herself. Seems she'd been over to theCattle Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the gunwale withsome more or less facts that a fortune-tellin' specimen by the name ofthe 'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed her in exchange for a quarter. 

"'Yup, ' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue ribbonpennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a gale ofwind. 'Yup, ' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I b'lieve anything. How could I help it when he told me so much that has come true already?He said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land knows that's so! and that Imight see more, and I cal'late that's pretty average likely. And he saidI hadn't been brought up in luxury--'

"'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither, ' I put in, thinkin' of the shackover on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live. 

"'No, ' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better andhigher things and that my intellectuals was above my station. Well, eversence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work upstairs thandown, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was the smartestyoung one she'd raised yet. So them statements give me consider'bleconfidence. But he give out that I was to make a journey and get money, and when THAT come true I held up both hands and stood ready to swallerall the rest of it. '

"'So it come true, did it?' says I. 

"'Um-hm, ' says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year Itraveled 'way over to South Eastboro--'most twelve mile--to my UncleIssy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred dollarsfor my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I: "There!don't talk superstition to ME no more! A person that can foretell UncleIssy's givin' anybody a cent, let alone nine hundred dollars, is a goodenough prophet for ME to tie to. Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry thedark-complected man, and I'll be ready for him when he comes along. I never spent a quarter no better than when I handed it over to thatOriental Seer critter at the Cattle Show. " That's what I said then and Ib'lieve it yet. Wouldn't you feel the same way?'

"I said sure thing I would. I'd found out that the best way to keepEffie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her. And I liked to hear hertalk. 

"'Yup, ' she went on, 'I give right in then. I'd traveled same as thefortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected to see, let alone own. And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm alive that thefeller I marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and dark complected andgood-lookin' and distinguished, and that he'll be name of Butler. '

"'Butler?' says I. 'What will he be named Butler for?'

"''Cause the Seer critter said so. He said he could see the word Butlerprinted out over the top of my head in flamin' letters. Pa used to say'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he was only foolin'. I know that it's all comin' out true. You ain't acquaintanced to anyButlers, are you?'

"'No, ' says I. 'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he wasgov'nor, but he's dead now. There ain't no Butlers on the Old Homeshippin' lists. '

"'Oh, I know that!' she says. 'And everybody round here is homelier'n amoultin' pullet. There now! I didn't mean exactly EVERYbody, of course. But you ain't dark complected, you know, nor--'

"'No, ' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither. Course the handsomepart might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the hand. That'sall right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed sence I've beenin the summer hotel business. Now you'd better run along and report toSusannah. I hear her whoopin' for you, and she don't light like a canarybird on the party she's mad with. '

"She didn't, that was a fact. Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper for usthat year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and couldn'tforget it. Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages against therailroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money some day or other, and she couldn't forget that neither. She was skipper of all the hiredhands and, bein' as Effie was prettier than she was, never lost a chanceto lay the poor girl out. She put the other help up to pokin' fun atEffie's green ways and high-toned notions, and 'twas her that started'em callin' her 'Lady Evelyn' in the fo'castle--servants' quarters, Imean. 

"'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door. 'Susannah's in atearin' hurry to get through early to-day, ' she adds to me. 'She's gotthe afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her buggy ridin'. He's from over Harniss way somewheres and they say he's just lovely. Mysakes! I wisht somebody'd take ME to ride. Ah hum! cal'late I'll have towait for my Butler man. Say, Mr. Wingate, you won't mention my fortuneto a soul, will you? I never told anybody but you. '

"I promised to keep mum and she cleared out. After dinner, as I wassmokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse andbuggy drove in at the back gate. A young chap with black curly hair waspilotin' the craft. He was a stranger to me, wore a checkerboard suitand a bonfire necktie, and had his hat twisted over one ear. Altogetherhe looked some like a sunflower goin' to seed. 

"'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab. Hesnorted contemptuous. 

"'That?' he says. 'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib? Heplays pool "for the house" in Web Saunders's place over to Orham. He'sthe housekeeper's steady comp'ny--steady by spells, if all I hear'strue. Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him. Wisht I'd had him aboard avessel of mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him. Look how he cants hishat to starboard so's to show them lovelocks. Bah!'

"'What's his name?' I asks. 

"'Name? Name's Butler--Simeon Butler. Don't you remember . . . Hey? Whatin tunket . . . ?'

"Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell underour main hatches. The windows of the dining room was right astern of us. We whirled round, and there was Effie. She'd been clearin' off one ofthe tables and there she stood, with the smashed pieces of an ice-creamplatter in front of her, the melted cream sloppin' over her shoes, andher face lookin' like the picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt. Only Effie looked as if she enjoyed the turnin'. She never spoke normoved, just stared after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' likeburnt holes in a blanket. 

"I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on thatsmashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em. I walked offand left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the text 'Crockerycosts money. ' You'd think that ice-cream dish was a genuine ugly, nicked'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars, instead of bein' only newand pretty fifty-cent china. I felt real sorry for the poor girl. 

"But I needn't have been. That evenin' I found her on the back steps, all Sunday duds and airs. Her hair had a wire friz on it, and her dresshad Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a mournin' rig. She'd havebeen real handsome--to a body that was color blind. 

"'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night. '

"'Yup, ' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do. Hope so, 'cause I'mwearin' all I've got. Say, Mr. Wingate, ' says she, excited as a cat in afit, 'did you see him?'

"'Him?' says I. 'Who's him?'

"'Why, HIM! The one the Seer said was comin'. The handsome, dark-complected feller I'm goin' to marry. The Butler one. That was himin the buggy this afternoon. '

"I looked at her. I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy. 

"'Good land of love!' I says. 'You don't cal'late he's comin' to marryYOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler? There's ten thousand Butlersin the world. Besides, your particular one was slated to be high rankedand distinguished, and this specimen scrubs up the billiard-room floorand ain't no more distinguished than a poorhouse pig. '

"'Ain't?' she sings out. 'Ain't distinguished? With all them beautifulcurls, and rings on his fingers, and--'

"'Bells on his toes? No!' says I, emphatic. 'Anyhow, he's signed forthe v'yage already. He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're off buggyridin' together right now. And if she catches you makin' eyes at herbest feller--Whew!'

"Didn't make no difference. He was her Butler, sure. 'Twas Fate--that'swhat 'twas--Fate, just the same as in storybooks. She was sorry for poorSusannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor underhanded; but couldn'tI understand that 'twas all planned out for her by Providence and thateverlastin' Seer? Just let me watch and see, that's all. 

"What can you do with an idiot like that? I walked off disgusted andleft her. But I cal'lated to watch. I judged 'twould be more fun thanany 'play-actin' show ever I took in. 

"And 'twas, in a way. Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause Ican't tell you for sartin. Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim had somesort of lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they got back tothe hotel they was scurcely on speakin' terms. And Sim, who always had awatch out for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie standin' on the servants'porch all togged up regardless and gay as a tea-store chromo, andnothin' to do but he must be introduced. One of the stable hands donethe introducin', I b'lieve, and if he'd have been hung afterwards'twould have sarved him right. 

"Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady frienddrivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper, that waspassenger. And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after a sparrow, and the very next day she was for havin' Effie discharged forincompetentiveness. I give Jonadab the tip, though, so that didn't gothrough. But I cal'late there was a parrot and monkey time among thehelp from then on. 

"They all sided with Susannah, of course. She was their boss, for onething, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular, foranother. But Effie didn't care--bless you, no! She and that Butler sportwas together more and more, and the next thing I heard was that they wasengaged. I snum, if it didn't look as if the Oriental man knew his jobafter all. 

"I spoke to the stable hand about it. 

"'Look here, ' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player and ourEffie serious?'

"He laughed. 'Serious enough, I guess, ' he says. 'They're goin' tobe married pretty soon, I hear. It's all 'cordin' to the law and theprophets. Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and how 'twasforetold she'd marry a Butler?'

"I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had. However, it seemed that Effiehadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer. Soon as she'd hookedher man she'd blabbed the whole thing. The fo'mast hands wa'n't talkin'of nothin' else, so this feller said. 

"'Humph!' says I. 'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'

"He laughed again. 'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred, Ical'late, ' says he. Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so we allreckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is. And yet, if the Debs womanshould win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad she'd have prettynigh twice as much. Butler's a fool not to wait, I think, ' he says. 

"This was of a Monday. On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see me. Iwas alone in the office. 

"'Mr. Wingate, ' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night. I'm goin'to be married on Sunday. '

"I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her. 

"'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie, ' I told her. 'Are you sure that Butlercritter cares anything about you and not your money?'

"She flared up like a tar barrel. 'The idea!' she says, turnin' red. 'Ijust come in to give you warnin'. Good-by. '

"'Hold on, ' I sung out to her. 'Effie, I've thought consider'ble aboutyou lately. I've been tryin' to help you a little on the sly. I realizedthat 'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under Susannah Debs, andI've been tryin' to find a nice place for you. I wrote about you to BobVan Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap who stopped here one summer. "Jonesy, " we used to call him. I know him and his wife fust rate, andhe'd do 'most anything as a favor to me. I told him what a neat, handygirl you was, and he writes that he'll give you the job of second girlat his swell New York house, if you want it. Now you just hand that SimButler his clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife. The wages aredouble what you get here, and--'

"She didn't wait to hear the rest. Just sailed out of the room with hernose in the air. In a minute, though, back she come and just put herhead in the door. 

"'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate, ' says she. 'I know you meanwell. But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have. It's allbeen arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n Jonah could helpswallerin' the whale. I--I kind of wish you'd be on hand at the backdoor on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to take me away. You--you'reabout the only real friend I've got, ' she says. 

"And off she went, for good this time. I pitied her, in spite of herbein' such a dough head. I knew what sort of a husband that pool-roomshark would make. However, there wa'n't nothin' to be done. And next dayCap'n Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup. Seems Susannah's lawyerat Orham had sent for her to come right off and see him. Somethin' aboutthe suit, it was. And she was goin' in spite of everything. And withEffie's leavin' at the same time, what was we goin' to do over Sunday?and so forth and so on. 

"Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all. But that Saturdaywas busy, now I tell you. Sunday mornin' broke fine and clear and, afterbreakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that 'twas her weddin' day. On the back steps I found her, dressed in all her grandeur, with herpacked trunk ready, waitin' for the bridegroom. 

"'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I. 

"'No, ' says she, smilin' and radiant. 'It's a little early for him yet, I guess. '

"I went off to 'tend to the boarders. At half past ten, when I made theback steps again, she was still there. T'other servants was peekin' outof the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin' remarks. 

"'Hello!' I calls out. 'Not married yet? What's the matter?'

"She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to allappearances. 

"'I--I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin', ' says she. 'He'll behere any time now. '

"There was a cackle from the kitchen windows. I never said nothin'. She'd made her nest; now let her roost on it. 

"But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight. Every hand, male and female, on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back of thehotel, waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high time. Themthat had errands made it a p'int to cruise past that way. Lots of theboarders had got wind of the doin's, and they was there, too. 

"Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave. I went upand spoke to her. 

"'Come, my girl, ' says I. 'Don't set here no longer. Come into the houseand wait. Hadn't you better?'

"'No!' says she, loud and defiant like. 'No, sir! It's all right. He's alittle late, that's all. What do you s'pose I care for a lot of jealousfolks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper scornful toward thekitchen. 

"And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me, with apitiful sort of choke in her voice:

"'Oh, Mr. Wingate! I can't stand this. Why DON'T he come?'

"I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore Icould h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise of acarriage comin'. Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody else. We alllooked toward the gate. 'Twas Sim Butler, sure enough, in his buggy anddrivin' the same old horse; but settin' alongside of him on the seat wasSusannah Debs, the housekeeper. And maybe she didn't look contented withthings in gen'ral!

"Butler pulled up his horse by the gate. Him and Susannah bowed to allhands. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Effie bounced off thetrunk and down them steps. 

"'Simmie' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does thismean?'

"The Debs woman straightened up on the seat. 'Thank you, marm, ' saysshe, chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request you not tocall my husband by his first name. '

"It was so still you could have heard yourself grow. Effie turned whiteas a Sunday tablecloth. 

"'Your--husband?' she gasps. 'Your--your HUSBAND?'

"'Yes, marm, ' purrs the housekeeper. 'My husband was what I said. Mr. Butler and me have just been married. '

"'Sorry, Effie, old girl, ' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to havepreached his fun'ral sermon. 'Too bad, but fust love's strongest, youknow. Susie and me was engaged long afore you come to town. '

"THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle asyou never heard. For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down. Then shebraced up and her black eyes snapped. 

"'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm, ' says she to Susannah. 'You'dought to be proud of it. And as for YOU, ' she says, swingin' roundtoward the rest of the help, 'I--'

"'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody. 

"'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else. 

"'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see him!'whoops another. 

"She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk. 

"'When I marry him I WILL come back, ' says she. 'And when I do you'llhave to get down on your knees and wait on me. You--and you--Yes, andYOU, too!'

"The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah. Then she turned andmarched into the hotel. And the way them hired hands carried on wassomethin' scandalous--till I stepped in and took charge of the deck. 

"That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train. Ipaid her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the VanWedderburns. 

"'So long, Effie, ' says I to her. 'It's all right. You're enough sightbetter off. All you want to do now is to work hard and forget all thatfortune-tellin' foolishness. '

"She whirled on me like a top. 

"'Forget it!' she says. 'I GUESS I shan't forget it! It's comin' true, I tell you--same as all the rest come true. You said yourself there wasten thousand Butlers in the world. Some day the right one--the handsome, high-ranked, distinguished one--will come along, and I'll get him. Youwait and see, Mr. Wingate--just you wait and see. '"

CHAPTER XV

THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY

"So that was the end of it, hey?" said Captain Bailey. "Well, it's whatyou might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell; and asfor PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'--why--"

"It AIN'T the end, " shouted the exasperated Barzilla. "Not nigh the end. 'Twas the beginnin'. The housekeeper left us that day, of course, andfor the rest of that summer the servant question kept me and Jonadabfrom thinkin' of other things. Course, the reason for the Butler scamp'ssudden switch was plain enough. Susannah's lawyer had settled the casewith the railroad and, even after his fee was subtracted, there wasfifteen hundred left. That was enough sight better'n nine hundred, soSim figgered when he heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his oldgirl. 

"Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks. At thebeginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin' jobs. Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that--no morehousekeeper for hers, and served her right. As for her husband, we tookhim on in the stable. He wouldn't have been wuth his salt if it hadn'tbeen for her. She said she'd keep him movin' and she did. She nagged andhenpecked him till I'd have been sorry if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas, I got consider'ble satisfaction out of it. 

"I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' sheliked her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her. And that's allI did hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin' him andMabel, his wife, had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac, and me andJonadab--especially me--must be sure and come to see it and them. Henever mentioned his second girl, and I almost forgot her myself. 

"But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile comesailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard. A shofer--Ib'lieve that's what they call the tribe--was at the helm of it, and onthe back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was a man anda woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles and veils andprosperity. I never expect to see the Prince of Wales and his wife, butI know how they'd look--after seein' them two. 

"Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin' asif his middle j'int had just been iled. I wa'n't fur astern, and everyboarder on deck was all eyes and envy. 

"The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and theman gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was doin' theground a condescension by steppin' on it. Then he turns to the woman andshe slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in a scrub oak. The pairsails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin' and fillin' in front of 'em. All the help that could get to a window to peek had knocked off work todo it. 

"'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar--he was big andstraight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on hischeeks--ahem!' says he. 'I say, good people, may we have dinner here?'

"Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly thatdon't include the nobility. Anyhow, although 'twas long past our reg'lardinner time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and sartin they could. Ifthey wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or in the front parlor for aspell, he'd have somethin' prepared in a jiffy. So up to the piazza theyparaded and come to anchor in a couple of chairs. 

"'You can have your automobile put right into the barn, ' I says, 'if youwant to. '

"'I don't know as it will be necessary--' began the big feller, but thewoman interrupted him. She was starin' through her thick veil at thebarn door. Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt sleeves, wasleanin' against that door, interested as the rest of us in what wasgoin' on. 

"'I would have it put there, I think, ' says the woman, lofty andsuperior. 'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to bewashed. Can that man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin' kind ofscornful at Simeon. 

"'Yes, marm, I cal'late so, ' I says. 'Here, Sim!' I sung out, callin'Butler over to the steps. 'Can you wash the dust off them wheels?'

"He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job. Thewoman seemed some doubtful. 

"'He looks like a very ignorant, common person, ' says she, loud andclear, so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself, couldhear her. 'However, James'll superintend. James, ' she orders the shofer, 'you see that it is well done, won't you? Make him be very careful. '

"James looked Butler over from head to foot. 'Humph!' he sniffs, contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face. 'Yes, marm, I'll'tend to it. '

"So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' bythe sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain thatthe shofer was superintendin' all right. 

"Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinneris served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. Thewoman was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk tome. 

"'Mr. Wingate, ' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate. '

"I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence Iheard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like. 

"'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever--'

"'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that--that Susannah thingis here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'

"And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks andautomobiles and gorgeousness!

"Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that diningroom. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. Thatwas Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gaspand then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help. 

"They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down theyset like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girlswent over to em. 

"But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was milesahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' agrip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt. 

"'Susannah, ' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious toplease. You'd better do the waitin' yourself. '

"I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. Fora second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any toosartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, andthe fun began. 

"Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ateit as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed onevery day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especialwith Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around--a mate on acattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they gotup to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:

"'The food here is not so bad, but the service--oh, horrors! However, Albert, ' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give thegirl our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'

"Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the halfdollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like. 

"The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler wasstandin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back hepretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And helooked as if he wisht they'd run over him. 

"'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels. 'Not halfclean, just as I expected. I knew by the looks of that--that PERSON thathe wouldn't do it well. Don't give him much, Albert; he ain't earnedit. '

"They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they wasready to start. But I couldn't let 'em go that way. Out I run. 

"'Say--say, Effie!' I whispers, eager. 'For the goodness' sakes, what'sall this mean? Is that your--your--'

"'My husband? Yup, ' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'. 'Didn't I tellyou to look out for my prophecy? Ain't he handsome and distinguished, just as I said? Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll see you again someday. '

"The machinery barked and they got under way. I run along for two stepsmore. 

"'But, Effie, ' says I, 'tell me--is his name--?'

"She didn't answer. She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife. Sim hadstooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at him. Andthat was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the window. 

"'Don't you touch that money!' she screams. 'Don't you lay a finger onit! Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you miser'ble, low-lived--'and so forth and so on. All the way to the front gate I see Effieleanin' out, lookin' and listenin' and smilin'. 

"Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back toJonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither one of uscould answer. "

"So THAT'S the end!" exclaimed Captain Bailey. "Well--"

"No, it ain't the end--not even yet. Maybe it ought to be, but it ain't. There's a little more of it. 

"A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to Wapatomacto visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised. Their 'cottage' waspretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so grand that I, even if Idid have on my Sunday frills, was 'most ashamed to ring the doorbell. 

"But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big andsolemn and fine lookin' and had side whiskers. Only this time he wore atail coat with brass buttons on it. 

"How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he. Step right in, sir, if youplease. Mr. And Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but they'll beback shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure. Let me takeyour grip and hat. Step right into the reception room and wait, if youplease, sir. Perhaps, ' he says, and there was a twinkle in his port eye, though the rest of his face was sober as the front door of a church, 'perhaps, ' says he, 'you might wish to speak with my wife a moment. I'lltake the liberty of sendin' her to you, sir. '

"So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to settlewhether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces Effie, rigged up in a servant's cap and apron. She looked polite and demure, but I could see she was just bubblin' with the joy of the wholebus'ness. 

"'Effie, ' says I, 'Effie, what--what in the world--?'

"She giggled. 'Yup, ' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they treat mefine. Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation. '

"'But--but them doin's the other day? That automobile--and them silksand satins--and--?'

"'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me, ' she said, 'him an' his wife. Andhe lent us the auto and the shofer, too. I told him about my troublesat the Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great joke for meto travel back there like a lady. He's awful fond of a joke--Mr. VanWedderburn is. '

"'But that man?' I gasps. 'Your husband? That's what you said he was. '

"'Yes, ' says she, 'he is. We've been married 'most six months now. Myprophecy's all come true. And DIDN'T I rub it in on that Susannah Debsand her scamp of a Sim? Ho! ho!'

"She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so tickled. 

"'But is he a Butler?' I asks. 

"'Yup, ' she nods, with another giggle. 'He's A butler, though his name'sJenkins; and a butler's high rank--higher than chambermaid, anyhow. Yousee, Mr. Wingate, ' she adds, ''twas all my fault. When that OrientalSeer man at the show said I was to marry a butler, I forgot to ask himwhether you spelt it with a big B or a little one. '"

The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been fulfilledamused Captain Sol immensely. He laughed so heartily that Issy McKaylooked in at the door with an expression of alarm on his face. Thedepot master had laughed little during the past few days, and Issy wassurprised. 

But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial. He claimed that the prophecywas NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was fraudulent. Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again. The two wereshouting at each other. Captain Sol stood it for a while and thencommanded silence. 

"Stop your yellin'!" he ordered. "What ails you fellers? Think you canprove it better by screechin'? They can hear you half a mile. There'sCornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of the street thisminute. He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or t'other. Let's changethe subject. See here, Bailey, didn't you start to tell us somethin'last time you was in here about your ridin' in an automobile?"

"I started to--yes. But nobody'd listen. I rode in one and I sailed inone. You see--"

"I'm goin' outdoor, " declared Barzilla. 

"No, you're not. Bailey listened to you. Now you do as much for him. Iheard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it happened andI'd like to hear the rest of it. How was it, Bailey?"

Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe. 

"Well, " he began, "I didn't know the critter was weak in his top riggin'or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place. And he wa'n'treal loony, nuther. 'Twas only when he got aboard that--that ungodly, kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's gocart of his that thecraziness begun to show. There's so many of them weak-minded city folksfrom the Ocean House comes perusin' 'round summers, nowadays, thatI cal'lated he was just an average specimen, and never examined himclose. "

"Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?" asked the depotmaster. 

Mr. Wingate answered the question. 

"My land!" he snapped; "would they board at the Ocean House if theyWA'N'T weak-minded?"

Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe. He continued calmly:

"This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though. He was young Stumpton'sautomobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they called him. Heanswered to the hail of Billings, and his home port was the Stumptonranch, 'way out in Montana. He'd been here in Orham only a couple ofweeks, havin' come plumb across the United States to fetch his boss thenew automobile. You see, 'twas early October. The Stumptons had lefttheir summer place on the Cliff Road, and was on their way South forthe winter. Young Stumpton was up to Boston, but he was comin' back ina couple of days, and then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' toFlorida. To Florida, mind you! In that thing! If it was me I'd buy myticket to Tophet direct and save time and money. 

"Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt waterafore, and he don't like the smell. He makes proclamations that Orham isnothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks. He won't sail, he can'tswim, he won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot somethin', havin' beenbrought up in a place where if you don't shoot some of the neighborsevery day or so folks think you're stuck up and dissociable. Thensomebody tells him it's the duckin' season down to Setuckit P'int, andhe says he'll spend his day off, while the boss is away, massycreein'the coots there. This same somebody whispers that I know so much aboutducks that I quack when I talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzzcart to hire me for guide. And--would you b'lieve it?--it turns out thathe's cal'latin' to make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart. I was formakin' the trip in a boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't hear ofit. 

"'Land of love!' says I. 'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'

"'Why not?' he says. 'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells methere's a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback. And where a hosscan travel I reckon the old gal here'--slappin' the thwart of the autoalongside of him--'can go, too!'

"'But there's the Cut-through, ' says I. 

"''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell me, 'says he. 'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river in thisvery machine. '

"By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out. Andthe Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a quartermile wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high water. It's thestrip of channel that makes Setuckit Beach an island, you know. Thegov'ment has had engineers down dredgin' of it out, and pretty soon fishboats'll be able to save the twenty-mile sail around the P'int and intoOrham Harbor at all hours. 

"Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me toSetuckit P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall. We was to start at fouro'clock in the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-through would bedead low at half-past four. We'd stay overnight at my shanty at theP'int, get up airly, shoot all day, and come back the next afternoon. 

"At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me. I loaded in the guns andgrub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to get aboardmyself. 

"'You'll set in the tonneau, ' says he, indicatin' the upholstered aftercockpit of the concern. I opened up the shiny hatch, under orders fromhim, and climbed in among the upholstery. 'Twas soft as a feather bed. 

"'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious. This is fine, ain't it?'

"'Cost seventy-five hundred to build, ' he says casual. 'Made to orderfor the boss. Lightest car of her speed ever turned out. '

"'Go 'way! How you talk! Seventy-five hundred what? Not dollars?'

"'Sure, ' he says. Then he turns round--he was in the bow, hangin' on tothe steerin' wheel--and looks me over, kind of interested, but superior. 'Say, ' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you. You're a hero, ain't you?'

"Durn them Orham gabblers! Ever sence I hauled that crew of seasicksummer boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and the gov'mentgave me a medal, the minister and some more of his gang have painted outthe name I was launched under and had me entered on the shippin' listas 'The Hero. ' I've licked two or three for callin' me that, but I can'tlick a parson, and he was the one that told Billings. 

"'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp. 'Get her under way, whydon't you?'

"All he done was look me over some more and grin. 

"'A hero! A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says. 'Ain't scared ofnothin', I reckon--hey?'

"I never made no answer. There's some things that's too fresh to eatwithout salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy. 

"'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like. 'A sure hero; scared of nothin'!Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'

"'No, ' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of ridin' inone now. Cast off, won't you?'

"He cast off. That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated marlinespikething toward him, shoved another one away from him, took a twist on thesteerin' wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse with the heaves, startedup some sort of buzz-planer underneath, and then we begun to move. 

"From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the pinesat Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin' as grandand tainted as old John D. Himself. The automobile rolled along smoothbut swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what easy trav'lin' wasafore. As we rounded the bend by the pines and opened up the twelve-milenarrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach ahead of us, with the ocean onone side and the bay on t'other, I looked at my watch. We'd come thatfur in thirteen minutes. 

"'Land sakes!' I says. 'This is what I call movin' right along!'

"He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised. 

"'Movin'?' says he. 'Movin'? Why, pard, we've been settin' down to rest!Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than we've done sofur, the center of attraction would die on the road of old age. Now, myheroic college chum, ' he goes on, callin' me out of my name, as usual, 'will you be so condescendin' as to indicate how we hit the trail?'

"'Hit--hit which? Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake! Goin' the waywe be, it would--'

"'Which way do we go?'

"'Right straight ahead. Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's more hardsand there, and--hold on! Don't do that! Stop it, I tell you!'

"Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next quarterof an hour. That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell, hauled thenickel marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a rubber bag that wasspliced to the steerin' wheel. There was a half dozen toots or howls orhonks from under our bows somewheres, and then that automobile hoppedoff the ground and commenced to fly. The fust hop landed me on my kneesin the cockpit, and there I stayed. 'Twas the most fittin' positionfur my frame of mind and chimed in fust-rate with the general religiousdrift of my thoughts. 

"The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck. 'Cordin' to mycount we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles. The fusthit knocked my hat off. The second one chucked me up so high I lookedback for the hat, and though we was a half mile away from it, it hadn'thad time to git to the ground. And all the while the horn was a-honkin', and Billings was a-screechin, and the sand was a-flyin'. Sand! Why, say! Do you see that extra bald place on the back of my head? Yes? Well, there was a two-inch thatch of hair there afore that sand blast groundit off. 

"When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through justahead. Billings see it, too, and--would you b'lieve it?--the lunaticstood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his hat and wavesit, and we charge down across them wet tide flats like death on thewoolly horse, in Scriptur'. 

"'Hi, yah! Yip!' whoops Billings. 'Come on in, fellers! The water'sfine! Yow! Y-e-e-e! Yip!'

"For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon ofmud and spray. I see a million of the prettiest rainbows--that is, Ical'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when you'rebouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once. Then we sizzed out ofthe channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on toward Setuckit. 

"Never mind the rest of the ride. 'Twas all a sort of constant changin'sameness. I remember passin' a blurred life-savin' station, withthree--or maybe thirty--blurred men jumpin' and laughin' and hollerin'. I found out afterwards that they'd been on the lookout for the bombshellfor half an hour. Billings had told around town what he was goin' todo to me, and some kind friend had telephoned it to the station. So thelife-savers was full of anticipations. I hope they were satisfied. Ihadn't rehearsed my part of the show none, but I feel what the parsoncalls a consciousness of havin' done my best. 

"'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard down. The auto was standin' still at last. Part of me was hangin' over the leerail. I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my head. And therealongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin' round and round incircles. 

"I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand. Then Iscrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me. That foolshover watched me, seemin'ly interested. 

"'Why, pard, ' says he, 'what's the matter? Do you feel pale? Are younervous? It ain't possible that you're scared? Honest, now, pard, if itweren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted hero I'd sure thinkyou was a scared man. '

"I never said nothin'. The scenery and me was just turnin' the mark buoyon our fourth lap. 

"'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings. 'I sure hope I ain't scared younone. We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow night, whenI take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a little. '

"I sensed some of that. And as the shanty had about come to anchor, Ianswered and spoke my mind. 

"'When you take me back home!' I says. 'When you do! Why, youcrack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell wagonof yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder. No, nor the mate'shove in!'

"And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed andlaughed. "

CHAPTER XVI

THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR

"I don't wonder he laughed, " observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoyirritating his friend. "You must have been good as a circus. "

"Humph!" grunted the depot master. "If I remember right you said YOUwa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances, Barzilla. Heave ahead, Bailey!"

Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:

"I tell you, I had to take it that evenin', " he said. "All the time Iwas cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was rubbin' itinto me about my bein' scared. Called me all the saltwater-hero nameshe could think of--'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and the like of that, usin' emsarcastic, of course. Finally, he said he remembered readin' in school, when he was little, about a girl hero, name of Grace Darlin'. Said hecal'lated, if I didn't mind, he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroicand yet kind of fitted in with my partic'lar brand of bravery. I didn'tanswer much; he had me down, and I knew it. Likewise I judged he wasmore or less out of his head; no sane man would yell the way he doneaboard that automobile. 

"Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, andpretty soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young Stumptongive up ranchin' and took to automobilin'. That cleared the sky linesome, of course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys in the ten-centbooks my nephew fetched home when he was away to school. I see right offthat Billings was the livin' image of Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill andthe rest in them books; they yelled and howled and hadn't no regard forlife and property any more'n he had. No, sir! He wa'n't no crazier'nthey was; it was in the breed, I judged. 

"'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace, ' says he. 'Why don't youcome West some day? That's where a hero like you would show up strong. '

"'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out. 'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest ofcrazy murderers as that fur no money! I'd sooner ride in that automobileof yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into THAT again, not if'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the golden street!'

"I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to startfor home he found out that I meant it. We'd shot a lot of ducks, andBillings was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and tease himas if he was a young one afore he'd think of quittin'. It was quarterof six when he backed the gas cart out of the shed. I was uneasy, 'cause'twas past low-water time, and there was fog comin' on. 

"'Brace up, Dewey!' says he. 'Get in. '

"'No, Mr. Billings, ' says I. 'I ain't goin' to get in. You take thatcraft of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory. '

"'In your which?' says he. 

"'In my dory, ' I says. 'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast theshanty. '

"He looked at the dory and then at me. 

"'Go on!' says he. 'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile on THATSHINGLE?'

"'Sartin I am! says I. 'I ain't takin' no more chances. '

"Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then. Seemed tofigger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five easyafore now. We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes more, and thefog driftin' in nigher all the time. At last he got sick of arguin', ripped out somethin' brisk and personal, and got his tin shop to movin'. 

"'You want to cross over to the ocean side, ' I called after him. 'TheCut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember. '

"'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic. And off he whizzed. I see himgo, and fetched a long breath. Thanks to a merciful Providence, I'd comeso fur without bein' buttered on the undercrust of that automobile orscalped with its crazy shover's bowie knife. 

"Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory. Allaround was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin' everyminute. I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but for thatcowboy shover. I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other side of theCut-through. There wa'n't much wind, and I had to make long tacks. Itook the inshore channel, and kept listenin' all the time. And at last, when 'twas pretty dark and I was cal'latin' to be about abreast of thebay end of the Cut-through, I heard from somewheres ashore a dismalhonkin' kind of noise, same as a wild goose might make if 'twas chokin'to death and not resigned to the worst. 

"'My land!' says I. 'It's happened!' And I come about and headedstraight in for the beach. I struck it just alongside the gov'mentshanty. The engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin' forsupplies, but they hadn't took away their dunnage. 

"'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory. 'Hi-i-i! Billings, where beyou?'

"The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in it. 

"'What? Is that Cap'n Stitt?'

"'Yes, ' I sings out. 'Where be you?'

"'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick. And there's a flood on. Help me, can't you?'

"Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up thechannel. Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the fog anddark. The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-through, andthe water was hub high already. Billings was standin' up on the for'ardthwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them expensive cushions. 

"'Lord, ' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard! Can we get to land, do you think?'

"'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out into thedrink. ''Course we can land! What's the matter with your old derelict?Sprung a leak, has it?'

"He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he struckthe flat, and he couldn't get no farther. He'd been honkin' and howlin'for ten year at least, so he reckoned. 

"'Why in time, ' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean side?And why in nation didn't you go ashore and--But never mind that now. Letme think. Here! You set where you be. '

"As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress signal. 

"'Where you goin'?' he yells. 'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave mehere, are you?'

"'I'll be back in a shake, ' says I, layin' to my oars. 'Don't holler so!You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the joke'll be on us. Hush, can't you? I'll be right back!'

"I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place Iwas bound for. Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up theCut-through. Moored out in front of it was a couple of big floats, fortheir stone sloops to tie up to at high water. The floats were made ofempty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd have held up a house easy. I run alongside the fust one, cut the anchor cable with my jackknife, and next minute I was navigatin' that float down channel, steerin' itwith my oar and towin' the dory astern. 

"'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by steerin'and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to the auto. Imade her fast with the cable ends and went back after the other float. This one was a bigger job than the fust, but by and by that gas wagon, with planks under her and cable lashin's holdin' her firm, was restin'easy as a settin' hen between them two floats. I unshipped my mast, fetched it aboard the nighest float, and spread the sail over thebiggest part of the brasswork and upholstery. 

"'There, ' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep prettydry. Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some spareanchors there is there. '

"'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred andninety-ninth time. 'Why don't we go where it's dry? The flood's risin'all the time. '

"'Let it rise, ' I says. 'I cal'late when it gets high enough themfloats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too. If she'sanchored bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a gale, and to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up so she'llgo. '

"'Go?' says he, like he was astonished. 'Do you mean to say you'rereckonin' to save the CAR?'

"'Good land!' I says, starin' at him. 'What else d'you s'pose? Think I'dlet seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged extravagance go tothe bottom? What did you cal'late I was tryin' to save--the clam flat?Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after them anchors. Sufferin' snakes!Where IS the dory? What have you done with it?'

"He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'. I handed it to him so'she'd have somethin' to take up his mind. And, by time, he'd forgot allabout it and let it drop! And the dory had gone adrift and was out ofsight. 

"'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like. 'Pard, the son of a gun has slippedhis halter!'

"I was pretty mad--dories don't grow on every beach plum bush--but therewa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try. 

"'Humph!' says I. 'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and go upto the station inlet after another boat. You stand by the ship. If shegets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and I'll row afteryou. I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her wherever she happens tobe. If she shouldn't float on an even keel, or goes to capsize, you jumpoverboard and swim ashore. I'll--'

"'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice. 'Why, pard, I can't swim!'

"I turned and looked at him. Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-platedbutcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his friends forbreakfast--and couldn't swim! I fetched a kind of combination groan andsigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard the automobile, and lit up mypipe. 

"'What are you settin' there for?' says he. 'What are you goin' to do?'

"'Do?' says I. 'Wait, that's all--wait and smoke. We won't have to waitlong. '

"My prophesyin' was good. We didn't have to wait very long. It was pitchdark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast. The floats got to bea-wash. I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar that had been leftthere, and took my seat again. Billings climbed in, too, only--andit kind of shows the change sence the previous evenin'--he was in thepassenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard in the pilot house. For areckless daredevil he was actin' mighty fidgety. 

"And at last one of the floats swung off the sand. The automobile tippedscandalous. It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends. Billings letout an awful yell. Then t'other float bobbed up and the whole shebang, car and all, drifted out and down the channel. 

"My lashin's held--I cal'lated they would. Soon's I was sure of that Igrabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the floats. Ihoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of the Cut-through, and make port on the inside beach. But not in that tide. Inside of fiveminutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound across the bay. 

"And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's time, I cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile, thoughthe one animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole menagerie. Billings was howlin' blue murder. 

"'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered. 'Quit it, d'you hear! You'll have thestation crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't rest. Shutup! If you don't, I'll--I'll swim ashore and leave you. '

"I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now. He might have drawed abowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd butchered folksfor a good sight less'n that. But he kept quiet this time, only gurglin'some when the ark tilted. I had time to think of another idee. Youremember the dory sail, mast and all, was alongside that cart. I clewedup the canvas well as I could and managed to lash the mast up straightover the auto's bows. Then I shook out the sail. 

"'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings. 'You hang on to that sheet. No, you needn't nuther. Make it fast to that cleat alongside. '

"I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble to it;reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart after he'djounced me down to Setuckit the day before. 

"'What?' he says. 'Wh-what? What sheet? I don't see any sheet. What doyou want me to do?'

"'Tie this line to that cleat. That cleat there! CLEAT, you lubber!CLEAT! That knob! MAKE IT FAST! Oh, my gosh t'mighty! Get out of myway!'

"The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead of theone I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open and prettynigh ripped it off the hinges. I had to climb into the cockpit andstraighten out the mess. I was losin' my temper; I do hate bunglin'seamanship aboard a craft of mine. 

"'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings. 'Will we drown?'

"'What in tunket do we want to drown for? Ain't we got a good sailin'breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of--fifty foot of water andmore?'

"'Fifty foot!' he yells. 'Is there fifty foot of water underneath usnow? Pard, you don't mean it!'

"'Course I mean it. Good thing, too!'

"'But fifty foot! It's enough to drown in ten times over!'

"'Can't drown but once, can you? And I'd just as soon drown in fiftyfoot as four--ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long. '

"He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself prettyconstant. 

"We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite morerugged--nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was all foam, and once in a while we'd ship a little spray. And every time thathappened Billings would jump and grab for somethin' solid--sometimes'twas the upholstery and sometimes 'twas me. He wa'n't on the thwart, but down in a heap on the cockpit floor. 

"'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and thatshover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my underpinnin'. 'Youmake me nervous. Drat this everlastin' fog! somethin'll bump into us ifwe don't look out. Here, you go for'ard and light them cruisin' lights. They ain't colored 'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do. Gofor'ard! What you waitin' for?'

"Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit. I wasmad. 

"'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to thesteerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind. 

"'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic. 'Think I'm a blame fool? I surewould be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way they're buckin'and light them lamps. You're talkin' through your hat!'

"Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt water, and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in; and ifthere's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny. I hauled in the oar, jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him. He see me comin', stoodup, tried to get out of the way, and fell overboard backwards. Part ofhim lit on one of the floats, but the biggest part trailed in the waterbetween the two. He clawed with his hands, but the planks was slippery, and he slid astern fast. Just as he reached the last plank and slid offand under I jumped after him and got him by the scruff of the neck. Ihad hold of the lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind theark, which was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates. 

"I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpitagain. Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein' scurce asdi'monds. But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke. 

"'Pard, ' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you. I reckon I sureain't treated you right. If it hadn't been for you that time I'd--'

"But I was b'ilin' over. I whirled on him like a teetotum. 

"'Drat your hide!' I says. 'When you speak to your officer you say sir!And now you go for'ard and light them lights. Don't you answer back!If you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard another vessel!For'ard there! Lively, you lubber, lively!'

"He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear life. But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all the timeI hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I wentfishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shoverawful. 

"'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I roaredat him. 'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you. For'ard there and getthat fog horn to goin'! And keep it goin'! Lively, you sculpin! Don'tyou open your mouth to me!'

"Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We musthave been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that theautomobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by her lonesome; thelamps was blazin' at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin'the rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin' on thecushions amidships, keepin' the whole calabash afore the wind. 

"We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meetone. Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin' quahaugsfrom Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac shore. Ezra stayed longenough to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then hecut his rodin' and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We couldhear him screech for half an hour after he left us. 

"Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay afterhim in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hearthe trumpet callin' him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot ofparticulars concernin' the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself, who, he said, was standin' up wavin' a red-hot pitchfork. Some folksmight have been flattered at bein' took for such a famous character; butI wa'n't; I'm retirin' by nature, and besides, Ez's descriptionwa'n't cal'lated to bust a body's vanity b'iler. I was prouder of theconsequences, the same bein' that Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledgethat afternoon, and kept it for three whole months, just sixty-nine dayslonger than any previous attack within the memory of man had lasted. 

"And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats slideasy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and thefog lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostablemeetin'-house. We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a betterlandin' blindfold than we ever could have made on purpose. 

"I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to finda rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa'n't more'n threeminutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry ground, but Billingsbeat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time tolook at that shover man he was a cable's length from high-tide mark, settin' down and grippin' a bunch of beach grass as if he was afeard thesand was goin' to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer, more upset critter in your born days. 

"Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked up tothe South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me, so he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about threehours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings. Both of 'em looked consider'ble better than they had when I see 'emlast. The shover had got a gang of men and they'd got the gas cartashore, and Billings and a blacksmith was workin' over--or ratherunder--the clockwork. 

"'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside. 

"Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware. 

"'Hi, pard!' says he. I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor 'Dewey'for a long spell. Hi, pard, ' he says, gettin' to his feet, 'the old galain't hurt a hair. She'll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then youand me can start for Orham. '

"'In HER?' says I. 

"'Sure, ' he says. 

"'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic. 'I'll borrer a boat to get toOrham in, when I'm ready to go. You won't ketch me in that man killeragain; and you can call me a coward all you want to!'

"'A coward?' says he. 'You a coward? And--Why, you was in that car allnight!'

"'Oh!' I says. 'Last night was diff'rent. The thing was on water then, and when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm safe. '

"'Safe!' he sings out. 'SAFE! Well, by--gosh! Pard, I hate to say it, but it's the Lord's truth--you had me doin' my "Now I lay me's"!'

"For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin' outloud, 'I cal'late, ' I says, 'that whether a man's brave or not dependsconsider'ble on whether he's used to his latitude. It's all accordin'. It lays in the bringin' up, as the duck said when the hen tried toswim. '

"He nodded solemn. 'Pard, ' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called theturn. Let's shake hands on it. '

"So we shook; and . . . "

Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. "There's mytrain comin', " he shouted. "Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep awayfrom fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin'married pretty soon. Good-by. "

He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr. Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soonafterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heardnews which surprised him. 

As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform, Barzilla said:

"Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you, sameas I always do. I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll have somemore. "

The Captain shook his head. "I may not be here then, Barzilla, " heobserved. 

"May not be here? What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depotmaster, anyway. "

"Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth--"

"I sent in my resignation four days ago. Nobody knows it, except you, not even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here totake my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two days off. "

"Why! Why! SOL!"

"Yes. Keep mum about it. I'll--I'll let you know what I decide to do. Iain't settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla. "

CHAPTER XVII

ISSY'S REVENGE

The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap ofrusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro, reading, as usual, a love story. Issy was taking a "day off. " He had beggedpermission of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted, and Issy had come over to Denboro, the village eight miles above EastHarniss, in his "power dory, " or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The LadyMay was a relic of the time before Issy was assistant depot master, whenhe gained a precarious living by quahauging, separating the reluctantbivalve from its muddy house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, thehandle of which was forty feet long. Issy had been seized with a desireto try quahauging once more, hence his holiday. The rake was brokenand he had put in at Denboro to have it fixed. While the blacksmith wasbusy, Issy laboriously spelled out the harrowing chapters of "Vivian, the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's Lowly Love. "

A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of theblacksmith's front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through theair and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader's head. Issy jumped. 

"You--you everlastin' young ones, you!" he shouted fiercely. "If Igit my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd--I see you hidin' behind thatfence. "

Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and twoshrill voices chanted in derision:

 "Is McKay--Is McKay-- Makes the Injuns run away!

"Scalped anybody lately, Issy?"

Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy's early expeditionin search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable Countyto the other. It had made him famous, in a way. 

"If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin' done, "retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable. 

A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him. McKay was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to retreat. Shoving the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he entered the shop. 

"What's the matter, Is?" inquired the grinning blacksmith. Most peoplegrinned when they spoke to Issy. "Gittin' too hot outside there, was it?Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for supper?"

"Humph!" grunted the offended quahauger. "Don't git gay now, JakeLarkin. You hurry up with that rake. "

"Oh, all right, Is. Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'. What's thenews over to East Harniss?"

"Oh, I don't know. Not much. Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston thismornin'. "

"Who? Sam Bartlett? I want to know! Thought he was down for six weeks. You sure about that, Is?"

"Course I'm sure. I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket andgit on the cars. "

"Did, hey? Humph! So Sam's gone. Gertie Higgins still over to her AuntHannah's at Trumet?"

Issy looked at his questioner. "Why, yes, " he said suspiciously. "I s'pose she's there. Fact, I know she is. Pat Starkey's doin' thetelegraphin' while she's away. What made you ask that?"

The blacksmith chuckled. "Oh, nothin', " he said. "How's her dad'sdyspepsy? Had any more of them sudden attacks of his? I cal'late they'lltake the old man off some of these days, won't they? I hear the doctorthinks there's more heart than stomach in them attacks. "

But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus. "What youdrivin' at, Jake?" he demanded. "What's Sam Bartlett's goin' away got todo with Gertie Higgins?"

In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side. The blacksmith caughtsight of the novel in his customer's pocket. He snatched it forth. 

"What you readin' now, Is?" he demanded. "More blood and brimstone?'Vivy Ann, the Shop Girl!' Gee! Wow!"

"You gimme that book, Jake Larkin! Gimme it now!"

Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the blacksmithproceeded to read aloud:

"'Darlin', ' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and blushin'maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last. Mine! No--' Jerushy! alove story! Why, Issy! I didn't know you was in love. Who's the luckygirl? Send me an invite to your weddin', won't you?"

Issy's face was a fiery red. He tore the precious volume from itsdesecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle. 

"You--you pesky fool!" he shouted. "You mind your own business. "

The blacksmith roared in glee. "Oh, ho!" he cried. "Issy's in love andI never guessed it. Aw, say, Is, don't be mean! Who is she? Have youstrained her to your manly bosom yit? What's her name?"

"Shut up!" shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop. His tormentorbegged him not to "go off mad, " and shouted sarcastic sympathy afterhim. But Mr. McKay heeded not. He stalked angrily along the sidewalk. Then espying just ahead of him the boys who had thrown the potatoes, he paused, turned, and walking down the carriageway at the side of theblacksmith's place of business, sat down upon a sawhorse under one ofits rear windows. He could, at least, be alone here and think; and hewanted to think. 

For Issy--although he didn't look it--was deeply interested in anotherlove story as well as that in his pocket. This one was printed uponhis heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while the heroine--theunsuspecting heroine--was Gertie Higgins, daughter of Beriah Higgins, once a fisherman, now the crotchety and dyspeptic proprietor of the"general store" and postmaster at East Harniss. 

This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May. The Higgins homestood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when Issy came in fromquahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back yard, hanging out theclothes or watering the flower garden. Sometimes she spoke to him of herown accord, concerning the weather or other important topics. Onceshe even asked him if he were going to the Fourth of July ball at thetown-hall. It took him until the next morning--like other warriors, Issywas cursed with shyness--to summon courage enough to ask her to go tothe ball with him. Then he found it was too late; she was going withher cousin, Lennie Bloomer. But he felt that she had offered him theopportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly. 

This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy. Whenshe returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was to presideat the telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining the post officeat her father's store. When Issy bowed blushingly outside the windowof the telegraph room, he received only the airiest of frigid nods. Wasthere what Lord Lyndhurst would have called "another"? It would seemnot. Old Mr. Higgins, her father, encouraged no bows nor attentions fromyoung men, and Gertie herself did not appear to desire them. So Issygave up his tales of savage butchery for those of love and blisses, adored in silence, and hoped--always hoped. 

But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of SamBartlett, the "dudey" vacationist from the city, whose father had, yearsago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business? And why had hecoupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had been visiting herfather's maiden sister at Trumet, the village next below East Harniss, as Denboro is the next above it? Issy's suspicions were aroused, and hewondered. 

Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him. The window was open andhe heard them plainly. 

"Well! WELL!" It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation. "Why, Bartlett, how be you? What you doin' over here? Thought you'd gone backto Boston. I heard you had. "

Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse andpeered over the window sill. There were two visitors in the shop. Onewas Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery stable. Theother was Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left East Harniss thatmorning, bound, ostensibly, for Boston. Issy sank back again andlistened. 

"Yes, yes!" he heard Sam say impatiently; "I know, but--see here, Jake, where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?"

"Well, well, Sam!" continued Larkin. "I was just figurin' that Beriahhad got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it up for thistime. Thinks I, it's too bad! Just because your dad and Beriah Higginshad such a deuce of a row when they bust up in the fish trade, it's ashame that he won't hark to your keepin' comp'ny with Gertie. And youdoin' so well; makin' twenty dollars a week up to the city--Ed told methat--and--"

"Yes, yes! But never mind that. Where can I get a horse? I've got to bein Trumet by eight to-night sure. "

"Trumet? Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?"

"Look a-here, Jake, " broke in the livery-stable keeper. "I'll tell youhow 'tis. Oh, it's all right, Sam! Jake knows the most of it; I toldhim. He can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old crank Higgins anybetter'n you and me do. Jake, Sam here and Gertie had fixed it up to runoff and git married to-night. He was to pretend to start for Boston thismornin'. Bought a ticket and all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent. He was to get off the train here at Denboro and I was to let him have ahorse 'n' buggy. Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through thewood roads around to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eightto-night sharp. Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein' asbig a crank as her brother, she don't let the girl out of her sight. Butthere's a fair at the church and Auntie's tendin' a table. Gertie, shesteps out to the cloak room to git a handkerchief which she's forgot;see? And she hops into Sam's buggy and away they go to the minister's. After they're once hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittlebile. "

"Bully! By gum, that's fine! Won't Beriah rip some, hey?"

"Yes, but there's the dickens to pay. I've only got two horses in thestable to-day. The rest are let. And the two I've got--one's old Bill, and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide. And t'other's the graymare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last night and use up her offhind leg so's she can't step. And Sam's GOT to have a horse. Where can Igit one?"

"Hum! Have you tried Haynes's?"

"Yes, yes! And Lathrop's and Eldredge's. Can't git a team for love normoney. "

"Sho! And he can't go by train?"

"What? With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin' throughevery train that stops there? You can't fetch Trumet by train withoutstoppin' at East Harniss and--What was that?"

"I don't know. What was it?"

"Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder. "

The two ran to the window and looked out. All they saw was an overturnedsawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously. 

"Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely, " observed the blacksmith. Then, striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:

"By time! I've thought of somethin'! Is McKay is in town to-day. Comeover in the Lady May. She's a gasoline boat. Is would take Sam to Trumetfor two or three dollars, I'll bet. And he's such a fool head that hewouldn't ask questions nor suspicion nothin'. 'Twould be faster'n ahorse and enough sight less risky. "

And just then the "fool head, " his brain whirling under its carrotythatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere, hewasn't certain where. 

A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even turnaround. So THIS was what the blacksmith meant! This was why Mr. Higginswatched his daughter so closely. This was why Gertie had been sent offto Trumet. She had met the Bartlett miscreant in Boston; they had beentogether there; had fallen in love and--He gritted his teeth and shookhis fists almost in the face of old Deacon Pratt, who, knowing theMcKay penchant for slaughter, had serious thoughts of sending for theconstable. 

Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how? To telegraph wasto put Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too good afriend of Gertie's to be trusted. There was no telephone at the store. Issy entered the combination grocery store and post office. 

"Has the down mail closed yet?" he panted. 

The postmaster looked out of his little window. 

"Yes, " he replied. "Why? Got a letter you want to go? Take it up to thedepot. The train's due, but 'tain't here yit. If you run you can makeit. "

Issy took a card from his pocket. It was the business card of the firmto whom he sold his quahaugs. On the back of the card he wrote in pencilas follows:

"Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'lBartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P. M. To-night and getmarried to him. LOOK OUT!!!"

After an instant's consideration he signed it "A True Friend, " thisbeing in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety. Thenhe put the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the railwaystation. The train came in as he reached the platform. The baggagemaster was standing in the door of his car. 

"Here, mister!" panted Issy. "Jest hand this letter to Beriah Higginswhen he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you? It's mightyimportant. Don't forgit. Thanks. "

The train moved off. Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently. Higgins would get that note in ample time to send word to the watchfulAunt Hannah. When the unsuspecting eloper reached the Trumet church, itwould be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited him. Still grinning, Mr. McKay walked off the platform, and into the arms of Ed Burns, the stablekeeper, and Sam Bartlett, his loathed and favored rival. 

"Here he is!" shouted Burns. "Now we've got him. "

The foiler of the plot turned pale. Was his secret discovered? But no;his captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense of theirpleadings became plain. They wanted him--HIM, of all people--to conveyBartlett to Trumet in the Lady May. 

"You see, it's a business meetin', " urged Burns. "Sam's got to be thereby ha'f past seven or he'll--he won't win on the deal, will you, Sam?Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller. He'll give you--I don't know's hewon't give you five dollars. "

"Ten, " cried Bartlett. "And I'll never forget it, either. Will you, Is?"

A mighty "No!" was trembling on Issy's tongue. But before it was utteredBurns spoke again. 

"McKay's got the best boat in these parts, " he urged. "She's got atiptop engine in her, and--"

The word "engine" dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts with afamiliar sound. In the chapter of "Vivian" that he had just finished, the beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht of themillionaire kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was milesastern. But the hero's faithful friend, disguised as a stoker, wastampering with the villain's engine. A vague idea began to form inIssy's brain. Once get the would-be eloper aboard the Lady May, and, even though the warning note should remain undelivered, he--

Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by hiscompanions. 

"I--I'll do it, " he cried. "By mighty! I WILL do it. You be at the wharfhere at four o'clock. I wouldn't do it for everybody, Sam Bartlett, butfor you I'd do consider'ble, just now. And I don't want your ten dollarsnuther. "

Doctoring an engine may be easy enough--in stories. But to doctor agasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time andTHEN break down is not so easy. Three o'clock came and the problem wasstill unsolved. Issy, the perspiration running down his face, stoodup in the Lady May's cockpit and looked out across the bay, smooth andglassy in the afternoon sun. 

The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and southernhorizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled masses. 

A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking onthe wharf. 

"What time you goin' to start for home, Is?" he asked. 

"Oh, in an hour or so, " was the absent-minded reply. 

"Humph! You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound. It'llbe thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in Waptomac'stead of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass. "

"Oh, my compass is all right, " began Issy, and stopped short. The lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they wereunproductive. McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and thinkinghard. To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get lost in a fog--Hetook the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle by the wheel, andcarrying it into the little cabin, placed it in the cuddy forward. 

It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barkingaggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor. Mr. Bartlett, the passenger, had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay. But Issy wasdeliberation itself. He had forgotten his quahaug rake, and the lapseof memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's. Then the gasoline tankneeded filling and the battery had to be overhauled. 

"Are you sure you can make it?" queried Sam anxiously. "It's important, I tell you. Mighty important. "

The skipper snorted in disgust. "Make it?" he repeated. "If the Lady Maycan't make fourteen mile in two hours--let alone two'n a ha'f--then Idon't know her. She's one of them boats you read about, she is. "

The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet. The distancebetween these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the road; by waterit is reduced to a straight fourteen. And midway between the two, at thecenter of the curve, is East Harniss. 

The Lady May coughed briskly on. There was no sea, and she sent long, widening ripples from each side of her bow. Bartlett, leaning over therail, gazed impatiently ahead. Issy, sprawled on the bench by the wheel, was muttering to himself. Occasionally he glanced toward the east. Thegray fog bank was now half way to the zenith and approaching rapidly. The eastern shore had disappeared. 

"Is! Hi, Is! What are you doing? Don't kill him before my eyes. "

Issy came out of his trance with a start. 

"What--what's that?" he asked. His passenger was grinning broadly. 

"What? Kill who?"

"Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then. You've been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for thelast five minutes. I was getting scared. You're an unmerciful sinnerwhen you get started, ain't you, Is? Who was the victim that time? 'ManAfraid of Hot Water'? or who?"

The skipper scowled. He shoved the fist into his pocket. 

"Naw, " he growled. "'Twa'n't. "

"So? Not an Indian? Then it must have been a white man. Some fellowafter your girl, perhaps. Hey?"

The disconcerted Issy was speechless. His companion's chance shot hadscored a bull's-eye. Sam whooped. 

"That's it!" he crowed. "Sure thing! Give it to him, Is! Don't sparehim. "

Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he "wa'n't goin' to. "

"Ho, ho! That's the stuff! But who's SHE, Is? When are you going tomarry her?"

Issy grunted spitefully. "You ain't married yourself--not yit, " heobserved, with concealed sarcasm. 

The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph. "No, " he said. "I'm not, that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days. It lookedpretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right. "

"'Tis, hey? You're sure about that, be you?"

"Guess I am. Great Scott! what's that? Fog?"

A damp breath blew across the boat. The clouds covered the sky overheadand the bay to port. The fog was pouring like smoke across the water. 

"Fog, by thunder!" exclaimed Bartlett. 

Issy smiled. "Hum! Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?" he observed. 

"But what'll we do? It'll be here in a minute, won't it?"

"Shouldn't be a mite surprised. Looks 's if twas here now. "

The fog came on. It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and shut herwithin gray, wet walls. It was impossible to see a length from her side. Sam swore emphatically. The skipper was provokingly calm. He stepped tothe engine, bent over it, and then returned to the wheel. 

"What are you doing?" demanded Bartlett. 

"Slowin' down, of course. Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog likethis. 'Tain't safe. "

"Safe! What do I care? I want to get to Trumet. "

"Yes? Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck. "

"You idiot! We've GOT to get there. How can you tell which way to steer?Get your compass, man! get your compass!"

"Ain't got no compass, " was the sulky answer. "Left it to home. "

"Why, no, you didn't. I--"

"I tell you I did. 'Twas careless of me, I know, but--"

"But I say you didn't. When you went uptown after that quahaug rake Iexplored this craft of yours some. The compass is in that little closetat the end of the cabin. I'll get it. "

He rose to his feet. Issy sprang forward and seized him by the arm. 

"Set down!" he yelled. "Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?"

The astounded passenger stared at his companion. 

"Why, you are, " he replied. "But that's no reason--What's the matterwith you, anyway? Have your dime novels driven you loony?"

Issy hesitated. For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset ofhis schemes had gotten the better of his prudence. But Bartlett wastaller than he and broad in proportion. And valor--except of theimaginative brand--was not Issy's strong point. 

"There, there, Sam!" he explained, smiling crookedly. "You mustn't mindme. I'm sort of nervous, I guess. And you mustn't hop up and down in aboat that way. You set still and I'll fetch the compass. "

He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the cabin. Finding that compass took a long time. Sam lost patience. 

"What's the matter?" he demanded. "Can't you find it? Shall I come?"

"No, no!" screamed Issy vehemently. "Stay where you be. Catch a-holt ofthat wheel. We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't. I'm a-comin'. "

But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin, carrying the compass box very carefully with both hands. He placed it inthe binnacle and closed the glass lid. 

"'Twas catched in a bluefish line, " he explained. "All snarled up, 'twas. "

Sam peered through the glass at the compass. 

"Thunder!" he exclaimed. "I should say we had spun around. Instead ofnorth being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way out to the right. Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up. Trumet's about northeast, isn't it?"

"No'theast by no'th's the course. Keep her just there. "

The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist. Timepassed. The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened. They litthe lantern in order to see the compass card. Issy had the wheel now. Sam was forward, keeping a lookout and fretting at the delay. 

"It's seven o'clock already, " he cried. "For Heaven's sake, how latewill you be? I've got to be there by quarter of eight. D'you hear? I'veGOT to. "

"Well, we're gittin' there. Can't expect to travel so fast with part ofthe power off. You'll be where you're goin' full as soon as you want tobe, I cal'late. "

And he chuckled. 

Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed, vanished, and flashed again. Issy saw it and smiled grimly. Bartlett sawit and shouted. 

"'What's that light?" he cried. "Did you see it? There it is, offthere. "

"I see it. There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?"

"Humph! It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet lightwas steady. However--"

"Ain't that the wharf ahead?"

Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, withcatboats at anchor near it. Higher up, somewhere on the shore, were thelighted windows of a building. 

"By thunder, we're here!" exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath. 

Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up tothe wharf. Feverishly her skipper made her fast. 

"Yes, sir!" he cried exultantly. "We're here. And no Black Rover noranybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that, nuther. "

He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his impatientbut grateful passenger. Sam's thanks were profuse and sincere. 

"I'll never forget it, Is, " he declared. "I'll never forget it. Andyou'll have to let me pay you the--What makes you shake so?"

Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back. 

"I'll never forget it, Is, " continued Sam. "I--Why! What--?"

He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the lightedwindows. They were those of a dwelling house--an old-fashioned housewith a back yard sloping down to the landing. 

And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear. 

"You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!" he crowed, in trembling butdelicious triumph. "You bet you won't! I've fixed you just the same asthe Black Rover fixed the mutineers. Run off with my girl, will ye? Andmarry her, will ye? I--"

Sam interrupted him. "Why! WHY!" he cried. "That's--that's Gertie'shouse! This isn't Trumet! IT'S EAST HARNISS!"

The next moment he was seized from behind. The skipper's arms werearound his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own. Theyfell together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled, Issy'syells rose loud and high. 

"Mr. Higgins!" he shrieked. "Mr. Higgins! Come on! I've got him! I'vegot the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter! Come on! I've gothim! I'm hangin' to him!"

A door banged open. Some one rushed down the walk. And then a girl'svoice cried in alarm:

"What is it? Who is it? What IS the matter?"

And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices exclaimed:"GERTIE!"

"But where IS your father?" asked Sam. Issy asked nothing. He merely satstill and listened. 

"Why, he's at Trumet. At least I suppose he is. Mrs. Jones--she's goneto telephone to him now--says that he came home this morning with oneof those dreadful 'attacks' of his. And after dinner he seemed so sickthat, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at Auntie's to comehome. I didn't want to come--you know why--but I COULDN'T let him diealone. And so I caught the three o'clock train and came. I knew you'dforgive me. But it seems that when Mrs. Jones came back with the doctorthey found father up and dressed and storming like a crazy man. He hadreceived some sort of a letter; he wouldn't say what. And, in spite ofall they could do, he insisted on going out. And Cap'n Berry--the depotmaster--says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight. We must havepassed each other on the way. And I'm so--But why are you HERE? And whatwere you and Issy doing? And--"

Her lover broke in eagerly. "Then you're alone now?" he asked. 

"Yes, but--"

"Good! Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-morrowmorning. I don't know what this letter was--but never mind. Perhapsfriend McKay knows more about it. It may be that Mr. Higgins is waitingnow outside the Baptist church. Gertie, now's our chance. You come withme right up to the minister's. He's a friend of mine. He understands. He'll marry us, I know. Come! We mustn't lose a minute. Your dad maytake a notion to drive back. "

He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging. At the corner ofthe house he turned. 

"I say, Is!" he called. "Don't you want to come to the wedding? Seemsto me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it along. Orperhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours. "

Issy didn't answer. Some time after they had gone he arose from theground and stumbled home. That night he put a paper novel into thestove. Next morning, before going to the depot, he removed an iron spikefrom the Lady May's compass box. The needle swung back to its properposition. 

CHAPTER XVIII

THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET

The eleventh of July. The little Berry house stood high on its joistsand rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly oppositethe Edwards lot. Close behind it loomed the big "Colonial. " Anothertwenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse gait, the depot master'sdwelling would be beyond the strip of Edwards fence. The "Colonial"would be ready to move on the lot, and Olive Edwards, the widow, wouldbe obliged to leave her home. In fact, Mr. Williams had notifiedher that she and her few belongings must be off the premises by theafternoon of the twelfth. 

The great Williams was in high good-humor. He chuckled as he talked withhis foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return. Simeon Phinney didnot chuckle. He was anxious and worried, and even the news of GertieHiggins's runaway marriage, brought to him by Obed Gott, who--havingbeen so recently the victim of another unexpected matrimonialalliance--was wickedly happy over the postmaster's discomfiture, did notinterest him greatly. 

"Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple, " speculated Obed. "FirstPolena and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett! I declare, Sim, gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be catchin', like themeasles. Nobody's safe unless they've got a wife or husband livin'. Meand Sol Berry are old baches--we'd better get vaccinated or WE may comedown with the disease. Ho! ho!"

After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot. Captain Solwas sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut. On the platform, forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy McKay, the pictureof desolation. He started nervously when he heard Simeon's step. Asyet Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins episode was unknown to thetownspeople. Sam and Gertie had considerately kept silence. Beriah hadnot learned who sent him the warning note, the unlucky missive which hadbrought his troubles to a climax. But he was bound to learn it, he wouldfind out soon, and then--No wonder Issy groaned. 

"Come in here, Sim, " said the depot master. Phinney entered the ticketoffice. 

"Shut the door, " commanded the Captain. The order was obeyed. "Well, what is it?" asked Berry. 

"Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all. What are youshut up in here all alone for?"

"'Cause I want to be alone. There's been more than a thousand folks inthis depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to talk. I don'tfeel like talkin'. "

"Heard about Gertie Higgins and--"

"Yes. "

"Who told you?"

"Hiram Baker told me first. He's a fine feller and he's so tickled, nowthat his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises around spoutin' talkand joy same as a steamer's stack spouts cinders. He told me. Then ObedGott and Cornelius Rowe and Redny Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knowshow many more, came to tell me. I cut 'em short. Why, even the Majorhimself condescended to march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, tomake proclamations about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on. Sincehe got Polena and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President, in his own estimate. "

"Humph! Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts. P'lena ain'tHetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever. "

"That's a fact. Still Polena's got sense. She'll hold Hardee in check, I cal'late. I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin' things and theMajor actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog--nice and pretty to walk outwith, but always kept at the end of a string. "

"You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?"

"No. Nor I shan't go for supper. Beriah's bad enough when he's gotnothin' the matter with him but dyspepsy. Now that his sufferin's arecomplicated with elopements, I don't want to eat with him. "

"Come and have supper with us. "

"I guess not, thank you, Sim. I'll get some crackers and cheese and suchat the store. I--I ain't very hungry these days. "

He turned his head and looked out of the window. Simeon fidgeted. 

"Sol, " he said, after a pause, "we'll be past Olive's by to-morrernight. "

No answer. Sim repeated his remark. 

"I know it, " was the short reply. 

"Yes--yes, I s'posed you did, but--"

"Sim, don't bother me now. This is my last day here at the depot, andI've got things to do. "

"Your last day? Why, what--?"

Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of the newdepot master. 

"But you givin' up your job!" gasped Phinney. "YOU! Why, what for?"

"For instance, I guess. I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm sick ofthe whole thing. "

"But what'll you do?"

"Don't know. "

"You--you won't leave town, will you? Lawsy mercy, I hope not!"

"Don't know. Maybe I'll know better by and by. I've got to think thingsout. Run along now, like a good feller. Don't say nothin' about myquittin'. All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon enough. "

Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl. Captain Solomon Berry no longerdepot master! The world must be coming to an end. 

He remained at his work until supper time. During the meal he ate andsaid so little that his wife wondered and asked questions. To avoidanswering them he hurried out. When he returned, about ten o'clock, hewas a changed man. His eyes shone and he fairly danced with excitement. 

"Emeline!" he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room. "What do youthink? I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!"

"Good or bad?" asked the practical Mrs. Phinney. 

"Good! So good that--There! let me tell you. When I left here I wentdown to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted. Pat Starkeywas doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by Gertie's gettin'married to attend to anything. Pat called me to the mail window andhanded me a letter. 

"'It's for Olive Edwards, ' he says. 'She's been expectin' one for aconsider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it. P'r'aps you'djust as soon go round by her shop and leave it. '

"I took the letter and looked at it. Up in one corner was the printedname of an Omaha firm. I never said nothin', but I sartinly hustled onmy way up the hill. 

"Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop. She was prettypale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much sleepin'lately. Likewise I noticed--and it give me a queer feelin' inside--thather trunk was standin', partly packed, in the corner. "

"The poor woman!" exclaimed Mrs. Phinney. 

"Yes, " went on her husband. "Well, I handed over the letter and startedto go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was so out ofbreath. To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out what was in thatenvelope and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I set. 

"She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much asa minute, as if she was afraid to open it. But at last, and with herfingers shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and tore offthe end of the envelope. It was a pretty long letter, and she read itthrough. I see her face gettin' whiter and whiter and, when she reachedthe bottom of the last page, the letter fell onto the floor. Down wenther head on her arms, and she cried as if her heart would break. I neverfelt so sorry for anybody in my life. 

"'Don't, Mrs. Edwards, ' I says. 'Please don't. That cousin of yours isa darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on his neck thisminute. '

"She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin. She was too muchupset for that. 

"'Oh! oh!' she sobs. 'What SHALL I do? Where shall I go? I haven't got afriend in the world!'

"I couldn't stand that. I went acrost and laid my hand on her shoulder. 

"'Mrs. Edwards, ' says I, 'you mustn't say that. You've got lots offriends. I'm your friend. Mr. Hilton's your friend. Yes, and there'sanother, the best friend of all. If it weren't for him, you'd have beenturned out into the street long before this. '"

Mrs. Phinney nodded. "I'm glad you told her!" she exclaimed. "She'dought to know. "

"That's what I thought, " said Simeon. 

"Well, she raised her head then and looked at me. 

"'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks. 

"That riled me up. 'Williams nothin'!' says I. 'Williams let you stayhere 'cause he could just as well as not. If he'd known that this otherfriend was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your account, he'dhave chucked you to glory, promise or no promise. But this friend, thisreal friend, he don't count cost, nor trouble, nor inconvenience. Hikeshis house--the house he lives in--right out into the road, moves it to aplace where he don't want to go, and--'

"'Mr. Phinney, ' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'

"And then I told her. She listened without sayin' a word, but her eyeskept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short. 

"'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished. 'Did he--did he--do that for ME?'

"'You bet!' says I. 'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for--thatain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and twotogether and make four. He did it for you, you can bet your last red onthat. '

"She stood up. 'Oh!' she breathes. 'I--I must go and thank him. I--'

"But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid. Fust place, there was no tellin' howhe'd act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd told her. 

"'Wait a jiffy, ' I says. 'I'll go out and see if he's home. You stayhere. I'll be back right off. '

"Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in themiddle of the Boulevard. And, just as I got to it, somebody says:

"'Ahoy, Sim! What's the hurry? Anybody on fire?'

"'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and smokin'as usual. I didn't waste no time. 

"'Sol, ' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's. She's got that letter fromthe Omaha man. Poor thing! all alone there--'

"He interrupted me sharp. 'Well?' he snaps. 'What's it say? Will thecousin help her?'

"'No, ' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'

"The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever willhear. 

"'Thank God!' says Sol Berry. 'That settles it. '

"And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and marchstraight across the street, over to the door of Olive Edwards's home, open it, and go in! I leaned against the joist he'd left, and swabbed myforehead with my sleeve. "

"He went to HER!" gasped Mrs. Phinney. 

"Wait, " continued her husband. "I must have stood there twenty minuteswhen I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard. 'Twas Cornelius Rowe, all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news. 

"''Lo, Sim!' says he to me. 'Is Cap'n Sol home? Does he know?'

"'Know? Know what?" says I. 

"'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him? Hey? You ain't heard? Well, Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has! Seems Abner Payne hadn't answeredSol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the offer to swap lots, andWilliams went up to Wareham where Payne's been stayin' and offered him athumpin' price for the land on Main Street, and took it. The deed's allmade out. Cap'n Sol can't move where he was goin' to, and he's left withhis house on the town, as you might say. Ain't it a joke, though? Whereis Sol? I want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts. Is he tohome?'

"I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left. 

"'No, he ain't, ' says I. 'I see him go up street a spell ago. '"

"Why, Simeon!" interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more. "Was that true? HowCOULD you see him when--"

"Be still! S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone? I'd havelied myself blue fust. However, Cornelius was satisfied. 

"'That so?' he grunts. 'By jings! I'm goin' to find him. '

"Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened, andI heard somebody callin' my name. I went acrost, walkin' in a kind ofdaze, and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on 'em, was Cap'nSol and Olive. The tears was wet on her cheeks, but she was smilin' ina kind of shy, half-believin' sort of way, and as for Sol, he was onebroad, satisfied grin. 

"'Cap'n, ' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that--'

"'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful. 'You've been a mighty good friendto both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake hands. '

"'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em. 'WHAT? You don't mean--'

"'I mean shake hands. Don't you want to?'

"Want to! I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to theelbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler. 

"'Sim, ' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe thatwhite horse is well by this time. P'r'aps we might move a little faster. I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street. '

"Then I remembered. 'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out. 'MainStreet? Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'

"And I gives 'em Cornelius's news. The widow's smile faded out. 

"'Oh!' says she. 'O Solomon! And I got you into all this trouble!'

"Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head. 'Huh!' sayshe. 'Mark one up for King Williams the Great. Humph!'

"He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud. 'Olive, ' he says, 'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on the ShoreRoad. It's the best site in town. Sim, I guess if that white horse ISwell, you can move that shanty of mine right to Cross Street, down that, and back along the Shore Road to the place where it come from. THATland's mine yet, ' says he. 

"If that wa'n't him all over! I couldn't think what to say, except thatfolks would laugh some, I cal'lated. 

"'Not at us, they won't, ' says he. 'We'll clear out till the laughin' isover. Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson Hilton and then takethe ten o'clock train. I feel's if a trip to Washin'ton would be aboutright just now. '

"She started and blushed and then looked up into his face. 'Solomon, 'she says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara. '

"He shook his head. 'Old lady, ' says he, 'I guess you don't quiteunderstand this thing. See here'--p'intin' to his house loomin' big andblack in the roadway--'see! the mountain has come to Mahomet. '"

Mrs. Phinney had heard enough. She sprang from her chair and seized herhusband's hands. 

"Splendid!" she cried, her face beaming. "Oh, AIN'T it lovely! Ain't youglad for 'em, Simeon?"

"Glad! Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce downcellar, ain't there? Let's break our teetotalism for once and drink aglass to Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry. Jerushy! I got to do SOMETHIN' tocelebrate. "

On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf poplars. The thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy with the perfumeof flowers. Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East Harniss, strolled onin the dark, under the stars, his hands in his pockets, and in his hearthappiness complete and absolute. 

Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so soonto be torn down. Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed the windowsof the mansion the owner of which was responsible for it all. Thewindows were open, and through them sounded the voices of the mightyOgden Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a lively altercation. It was an open secret that their married life was anything but peaceful. 

"What are you grumbling about now?" demanded 'Williams. "Don't I giveyou more money than--"

"Nonsense!" sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision. "Nonsense, I say! Money is all there is to you, Ogden. In other things, the realthings of this world, those you can't buy with money, you're a perfectimbecile. You know nothing whatever about them. "

Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the directionof the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's window. And helaughed aloud.