[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of thefile for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making anentire meal of them. D. W. ]

THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 4

[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)]

Dublin

MDCCCXXXIX. 

Volume 4. (Chapter XXIV-XXVIII)

Contents:

CHAPTER XXIVThe Gen d'Arme

CHAPTER XXVThe Inn at Chantraine

CHAPTER XXVIMr O'Leary

CHAPTER XXVIIParis

CHAPTER XXVIIIParis

CHAPTER XXIV. 

THE GEN D'ARME. 

I had fortunately sufficient influence upon my fair friends to persuadethem to leave Calais early on the morning following; and two hours beforeKilkee had opened his eyes upon this mortal life, we were far upon theroad to Paris. 

Having thus far perfectly succeeded in my plot, my spirit rose rapidly, and I made every exertion to make the road appear short to myfellow-travellers. This part of France is unfortunately deficient in anyinterest from scenery; large undivided tracts of waving cornfields, witha back-ground of apparently interminable forests, and occasionally, butrarely, the glimpse of some old time-worn chateau, with its pointed gableand terraced walk, are nearly all that the eye can detect in theintervals between the small towns and villages. Nothing, however, is"flat or unprofitable" to those who desire to make it otherwise; goodhealth, good spirits, and fine weather, are wonderful travellingcompanions, and render one tolerably independent of the charms ofscenery. Every mile that separated me from Calais, and took away thechance of being overtaken, added to my gaiety, and I flatter myself thata happier party have rarely travelled that well frequented road. 

We reached Abbeville to dinner, and adjourned to the beautiful littlegarden of the inn for our coffee; the evening was so delightful that Iproposed to walk on the Paris road, until the coming up of the carriage, which required a screw, or a washer, or some such trifle as always occursin French posting. To this la chere mamma objected, she being tired, butadded, that Isabella and I might go on, and that she would take us up inhalf an hour. This was an arrangement so very agreeable and unlooked forby me, that I pressed Miss Bingham as far as I well could, and at lastsucceeded in overcoming her scruples, and permitting me to shawl her. One has always a tremendous power of argument with the uninitiatedabroad, by a reference to a standard of manners and habits totallydifferent from our own. Thus the talismanic words--"Oh! don't beshocked; remember you are in France, " did more to satisfy my youngfriend's mind than all I could have said for an hour. Little did sheknow that in England only, has an unmarried young lady any liberty, andthat the standard of foreign propriety on this head is far, very far morerigid than our own. 

"La premiere Rue a gauche, " said an old man of whom I inquired the road;"et puis, " added I. 

"And then quite straight; it is a chaussee all the way, and you cannotmistake it. "

"Now for it, mademoiselle, " said I. "Let us try if we cannot see a gooddeal of the country before the carriage comes up. "

We had soon left the town behind and reached a beautifully shaded highroad, with blossoming fruit trees, and honeysuckle-covered cottages;there had been several light showers during the day, and the air had allthe fresh fragrant feeling of an autumn evening, so tranquillizing andcalming that few there are who have not felt at some time or other oftheir lives, its influence upon their minds. I fancied my fair companiondid so, for, as she walked beside me, her silence, and the gentlepressure of her arm, were far more eloquent than words. 

If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now andthen seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a prettygirl for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whosethoughts, as far you can guess at least, are travelling the same pathwith your own--if this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena, thendo I swear by Mesmer, whatever it be, delusion or otherwise, it has givenme the brightest moments of my life--these are the real "winged dreams"of pleasures which outlive others of more absorbing and actual interestat the time. After all, for how many of our happiest feelings are weindebted to the weakness of our nature. The man that is wise atnineteen, "Je l'en fais mon compliment, " but I assuredly do not envy him;and now, even now, when I number more years than I should like to"confess, " rather than suffer the suspicious watchfulness of age to creepon me, I prefer to "go on believing, " even though every hour of the dayshould show me, duped and deceived. While I plead guilty to thisimpeachment, let me show mitigation, that it has its enjoyments--first, although I am the most constant and devoted man breathing, as a verycursory glance at these confessions may prove, yet I have never been ableto restrain myself from a propensity to make love, merely as a pastime. The gambler that sits down to play cards, or hazard against himself, mayperhaps be the only person that can comprehend this tendency of mine. Weboth of us are playing for nothing (or love, which I suppose issynonymous;) we neither of us put forth our strength; for that veryreason, and in fact like the waiter at Vauxhall who was complimented uponthe dexterity with which he poured out the lemonade, and confessed thathe spent his mornings "practising with vater, " we pass a considerableportion of our lives in a mimic warfare, which, if it seem unprofitable, is, nevertheless, pleasant. 

After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceeded? We hadfallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had sorapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed toengender. Our attempts to analyse the reasons for, and the nature of thefriendship thus so suddenly established--a rather dangerous and difficulttopic, when the parties are both young--one eminently handsome, and theother disposed to be most agreeable. Oh, my dear young friends of eithersex, whatever your feelings be for one another, keep them to yourselves;I know of nothing half so hazardous as that "comparing of notes" whichsometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful thing in mathematics orchemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied to the "functions of theheart. "

"Mamma appears to have forgotten us, " said Isabella, as she spoke, afterwalking for some time in silence beside me. 

"Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair; butare you tired?"

"Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but--"

"Then perhaps you are ennuyee, " said I, half pettishly, to provoke adisclaimer if possible. To this insidiously put quere I received, as Ideserved, no answer, and again we sauntered on without speaking. 

"To whom does that chateau belong, my old friend?" said I addressing aman on the road-side. 

"A Monsieur le Marquis, sir, " replied he. 

"But what's his name, though?"

"Ah, that I can't tell you, " replied the man again. 

There you may perceive how, even yet, in provincial France, the oldrespect for the aristocracy still survives; it is sufficient that thepossessor of that fine place is "Monsieur le Marquis;" but any otherknowledge of who he is, and what, is superfluous. "How far are we fromthe next village, do you know?"

"About a league. "

"Indeed. Why I thought 'La Scarpe' was quite near us. "

"Ah, you are thinking of the Amiens road. "

"Yes, of course; and is not this the Amiens road?"

"Oh, no; the Amiens road lies beyond those low hills to the right. Youpassed the turn at the first 'barriere'. "

"Is it possible we could have come wrong?"

"Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, don't say so, I entreat of you. "

"And what road is this, then, my friend?"

"This is the road to Albert and Peronne. "

"Unfortunately, I believe he is quite right. Is there any crossroad fromthe village before us now, to the Amiens road?"

"Yes; you can reach it about three leagues hence. "

"And we can get a carriage at the inn probably?"

"Ah, that I am not sure of--. Perhaps at the Lion d'or you may. "

"But why not go back to Abbeville?"

"Oh, Mrs. Bingham must have left long since, and beside you forget thedistance; we have been walking two hours. "

"Now for the village, " said I, as I drew my friend's arm closer withinmine, and we set out in a fast walk. 

Isabella seemed terribly frightened at the whole affair; what her mammamight think, and what might be her fears at not finding us on the road, and a hundred other encouraging reflections of this nature she pouredforth unceasingly. As for myself, I did not know well what to think ofit; my old fondness for adventure being ever sufficiently strong in me togive a relish to any thing which bore the least resemblance to one. ThisI now concealed, and sympathised with my fair friend upon our mishap, andassuring her, at the same time, that there could be no doubt of ourovertaking Mrs. Bingham before her arrival at Amiens. 

"Ah, there is the village in the valley; how beautifully situated. "

"Oh, I can't admire any thing now, Mr. Lorrequer, I am so frightened. "

"But surely without cause, " said I, looking tenderly beneath her bonnet. 

"Is this, " she answered, "nothing, " and we walked on in silence again. 

On reaching the Lion d'or we discovered that the only conveyance to behad was a species of open market-cart drawn by two horses, and in whichit was necessary that my fair friend and myself should seat ourselvesside by side upon straw: there was no choice, and as for Miss Bingham, I believe if an ass with panniers had presented itself, she would havepreferred it to remaining where she was. We therefore took our places, and she could not refrain from laughing as we set out upon our journey inthis absurd equipage, every jolt of which threw us from side to side, andrendered every attention on my part requisite to prevent her being upset. 

After about two hours' travelling we arrived at the Amiens road, andstopped at the barriere. I immediately inquired if a carriage hadpassed, resembling Mrs. Bingham's, and learned that it had, about an hourbefore, and that the lady in it had been informed that two persons, likethose she asked after, had been seen in a caleche driving rapidly toAmiens, upon which she set out as fast as possible in pursuit. 

"Certainly, " said I, "the plot is thickening; but for that unluckymistake she might in all probability have waited here for us. Amiens isonly two leagues now, so our drive will not be long, and before sixo'clock we shall all be laughing over the matter as a very good joke. "

On we rattled, and as the road became less frequented, and the shadowslengthened, I could not but wonder at the strange situations which theadventurous character of my life had so often involved me in. Meanwhile, my fair friend's spirits became more and more depressed, and it was notwithout the greatest difficulty I was enabled to support her courage. Iassured her, and not altogether without reason, that though so often inmy eventful career accidents were occurring which rendered it dubious anddifficult to reach the goal I aimed at, yet the results had so often beenmore pleasant than I could have anticipated, that I always felt a kind ofinvoluntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path, setting itdown as some especial means of fortune, to heighten the pleasure awaitingme; "and now, " added I, "even here, perhaps, in this very mistake of ourroad--the sentiments I have heard--the feelings I have given utteranceto--" What I was about to say, heaven knows--perhaps nothing less than adownright proposal was coming; but at that critical moment a gen-d'armerode up to the side of our waggon, and surveyed us with the peculiarlysignificant scowl his order is gifted with. After trotting alongside fora few seconds he ordered the driver to halt, and, turning abruptly to us, demanded our passports. Now our passports were, at that precise moment, peaceably reposing in the side pocket of Mrs. Bingham's carriage; Itherefore explained to the gen-d'arme how we were circumstanced, andadded, that on arriving at Amiens the passport should be produced. Tothis he replied that all might be perfectly true, but he did not believea word of it--that he had received an order for the apprehension of twoEnglish persons travelling that road--and that he should accordinglyrequest our company back to Chantraine, the commissionaire of which placewas his officer. 

"But why not take us to Amiens, " said I; "particularly when I tell youthat we can then show our passports?"

"I belong to the Chantraine district, " was the laconic answer; and likethe gentleman who could not weep at the sermon because he belonged toanother parish, this specimen of a French Dogberry would not hear reasonexcept in his own "commune. "

No arguments which I could think of had any effect upon him, and amid avolley of entreaty and imprecation, both equally vain, we saw ourselvesturn back upon the road to Amiens, and set out at a round trot toChantraine, on the road to Calais. 

Poor Isabella, I really pitied her; hitherto her courage had beenprincipally sustained by the prospect of soon reaching Amiens; now therewas no seeing where our adventure was to end. Besides that, actualfatigue from the wretched conveyance began to distress her, and she wasscarcely able to support herself, though assisted by my arm. What aperilous position mine, whispering consolation and comfort to a prettygirl on a lonely road, the only person near being one who comprehendednothing of the language we spoke in. Ah, how little do we know of fate, and how often do we despise circumstances that determine all our fortunesin the world. To think that a gen-d'arme should have any thing to dowith my future lot in life, and that the real want of a passport totravel should involve the probable want of a licence to marry. Yes, itis quite in keeping, thought I, with every step I have taken throughlife. I may be brought before the "maire" as a culprit, and leave him asa Benedict. 

On reaching the town, we were not permitted to drive to the inn, but atonce conveyed to the house of the "commissaire, " who was also the "maire"of the district. The worthy functionary was long since in bed, and itwas only after ringing violently for half an hour that a head, surmountedwith a dirty cotton night-cap, peeped from an upper window, and seemed tosurvey the assemblage beneath with patient attention. By this time aconsiderable crowd had collected from the neighbouring ale-houses andcabarets, who deemed it a most fitting occasion to honour us with themost infernal yells and shouts, as indicating their love of justice, anddelight in detecting knavery; and that we were both involved in suchsuspicion, we had not long to learn. Meanwhile the poor old maire, whohad been an employe in the stormy days of the revolution, and also underNapoleon, and who full concurred with Swift that "a crowd is a mob, ifcomposed even of bishops, " firmly believed that the uproar beneath in thestreet was the announcement of a new change of affairs at Paris, determined to be early in the field, and shouted therefore with all hislungs--"vive le peuple"--"Vive la charte"--"A bas les autres. " Atremendous shout of laughter saluted this exhibition of unexpectedrepublicanism, and the poor maire retired from the window, having learnedhis mistake, covered with shame and confusion. 

Before the mirth caused by this blunder had subsided, the door hadopened, and we were ushered into the bureau of the commissaire, accompanied by the anxious crowd, all curious to know the particulars ofour crime. 

The maire soon appeared, his night-cap being replaced by a small blackvelvet skull-cap, and his lanky figure enveloped in a tarnished silkdressing-gown; he permitted us to be seated, while the gen-d'armerecounted the suspicious circumstances of our travelling, and producedthe order to arrest an Englishman and his wife who had arrived in one ofthe late Boulogne packets, and who had carried off from somebanking-house money and bills for a large amount. 

"I have no doubt these are the people, " said the gen-d'arme; "and here isthe 'carte descriptive. ' Let us compare it--'Forty-two or forty-threeyears of age. '"

"I trust, M. Le Maire, " said I, overhearing this, "that ladies do notrecognize me as so much. "

"Of a pale and cadaverous aspect, " continued the gen-d'arme. 

Upon this the old functionary, wiping his spectacles with a snuffyhandkerchief, as if preparing them to examine an eclipse of the sun, regarded me fixedly for several minutes, and said--"Oh, yes, I perceiveit plainly; continue the description. "

"Five feet three inches, " said the gen-d'arme. 

"Six feet one in England, whatever this climate may have done since. "

"Speaks broken and bad French. "

"Like a native, " said I; "at least so said my friends in the chausseeD'Antin, in the year fifteen. "

Here the catalogue ended, and a short conference between the maire andthe gen-d'arme ensued, which ended in our being committed for examinationon the morrow; meanwhile we were to remain at the inn, under thesurveillance of the gen-d'arme. 

On reaching the inn my poor friend was so completely exhausted that sheat once retired to her room, and I proceeded to fulfil a promise I hadmade her to despatch a note to Mrs. Bingham at Amiens by a specialmessenger, acquainting her with all our mishaps, and requesting her tocome or send to our assistance. This done, and a good supper smokingbefore me, of which with difficulty I persuaded Isabella to partake inher own room, I again regained my equanimity, and felt once more at ease. 

The gen-d'arme in whose guardianship I had been left was a fine specimenof his caste; a large and powerfully built man of about fifty, with anenormous beard of grizzly brown and grey hair, meeting above and beneathhis nether lip; his eyebrows were heavy and beetling, and nearlyconcealed his sharp grey eyes, while a deep sabre-wound had left upon hischeek a long white scar, giving a most warlike and ferocious look to hisfeatures. 

As he sat apart from me for some time, silent and motionless, I could nothelp imagining in how many a hard-fought day he had borne a part, for heevidently, from his age and bearing, had been one of the soldiers of theempire. I invited him to partake of my bottle of Medoc, by which heseemed flattered. When the flask became low, and was replaced byanother, he appeared to have lost much of his constrained air, andseemed forgetting rapidly the suspicious circumstances which he supposedattached to me--waxed wondrous confidential and communicative, andcondescended to impart some traits of a life which was not without itsvicissitudes, for he had been, as I suspected, one of the "Guarde"--theold guarde--was wounded at Marengo, and received the croix d'honneur inthe field of Wagram, from the hands of the Emperor himself. The headlongenthusiasm of attachment to Napoleon, which his brief and stormy careerelicited even from those who suffered long and deeply in his behalf, isnot one of the least singular circumstances which this portion of historydisplays. While the rigours of the conscription had invaded every familyin France, from Normandie to La Vendee--while the untilled fields, theruined granaries, the half-deserted villages, all attested thedepopulation of the land, those talismanic words, "l'Empereur et lagloire, " by some magic mechanism seemed all-sufficient not only torepress regret and suffering, but even stimulate pride, and nourishvalour; and even yet, when it might be supposed that like the brilliantglass of a magic lantern, the gaudy pageant had passed away, leaving onlythe darkness and desolation behind it--the memory of those days under theempire survives untarnished and unimpaired, and every sacrifice offriends or fortune is accounted but little in the balance when the honourof La Belle France, and the triumphs of the grand "armee, " are weightedagainst them. The infatuated and enthusiastic followers of this greatman would seem, in some respects, to resemble the drunkard in the"Vaudeville, " who alleged as his excuse for drinking, that whenever hewas sober his poverty disgusted him. "My cabin, " said he, "is a cell, mywife a mass of old rags, my child a wretched object of misery and malady. But give me brandy; let me only have that, and then my hut is a palace, my wife is a princess, and my child the very picture of health andhappiness;" so with these people--intoxicated with the triumphs of theirnation, "tete monte" with victory--they cannot exist in the horror ofsobriety which peace necessarily enforces; and whenever the subject turnsin conversation upon the distresses of the time or the evil prospects ofthe country, they call out, not like the drunkard, for brandy, but in thesame spirit they say--"Ah, if you would again see France flourishing andhappy, let us once more have our croix d'honneur, our epaulettes, ourvoluntary contributions, our Murillos, our Velasquez, our spoils fromVenice, and our increased territories to rule over. " This is thelanguage of the Buonapartiste every where, and at all seasons; and themass of the nation is wonderfully disposed to participate in thesentiment. The empire was the Aeneid of the nation, and Napoleon theonly hero they now believe in. You may satisfy yourself of this easily. Every cafe will give evidence of it, every society bears its testimony toit, and even the most wretched Vaudeville, however, trivial the interest--however meagre the story, and poor the diction, let the emperor buthave his "role"--let him be as laconic as possible, carry his handsbehind his back, wear the well-known low cocked-hat, and the "redingotegris"--the success is certain--every sentence he utters is applauded, andnot a single allusion to the Pyramids, the sun of Austerlitz, l'honneur, et al vieille garde, but is sure to bring down thunders of acclamation. But I am forgetting myself, and perhaps my reader too; the conversationof the old gen-d'arme accidentally led me into reflections like these, and he was well calculated, in many ways, to call them forth. Hisdevoted attachment--his personal love of the emperor--of which he gave mesome touching instances, was admirably illustrated by an incident, whichI am inclined to tell, and hope it may amuse the reader as much as it didmyself on hearing it. 

When Napoleon had taken possession of the papal dominions, as hevirtually did, and carried off the pope, Pius VI, to Paris, this oldsoldier, then a musketeer in the garde, formed part of the company thatmounted guard over the holy father. During the earlier months of theholy father's confinement he was at liberty to leave his apartments atany hour he pleased, and cross the court-yard of the palace to the chapelwhere he performed mass. At such moments the portion of the ImperialGuard then on duty stood under arms, and received from the august hand ofthe pope his benediction as he passed. But one morning a hasty expressarrived from the Tuilleries, and the officer on duty communicated hisinstructions to his party, that the apostolic vicar was not to bepermitted to pass, as heretofore, to the chapel, and that a most rigidsuperintendence was to be exercised over his movements. My poorcompanion had his turn for duty on that ill-starred day; he had not beenlong at his post when the sound of footsteps was heard approaching, andhe soon saw the procession which always attended the holy father to hisdevotions, advancing towards him; he immediately placed himself acrossthe passage, and with his musket in rest barred the exit, declaring, atthe same time, that such were his orders. In vain the priests who formedthe cortege addressed themselves to his heart, and spoke to his feelings, and at last finding little success by these methods, explained to him themortal sin and crime for which eternal damnation itself might not be atoo heavy retribution if he persisted in preventing his holiness to pass, and thus be the means of opposing an obstacle to the head of the wholeCatholic church, for celebrating the mass; the soldier remained firm andunmoved, the only answer he returned being, "that he had his orders, anddared not disobey them. " The pope, however, persisted in his resolution, and endeavoured to get by, when the hardy veteran retreated a step, andplacing his musket and bayonet at the charge, called out "au nom del'Empereur, " when the pious party at last yielded and slowly retiredwithin the palace. 

Not many days after, this severe restriction was recalled, and once morethe father was permitted to go to and from the chapel of the palace, atsuch times as he pleased, and again, as before, in passing the corridor, the guards presented arms and received the holy benediction, all exceptone; upon him the head of the church frowned severely, and turned hisback, while extending his pious hands towards the others. "And yet, "said the poor fellow in concluding his story, "and yet I could not havedone otherwise; I had my orders and must have followed them, and had theemperor commanded it, I should have run my bayonet through the body ofthe holy father himself. 

"Thus, you see, my dear sir, how I have loved the emperor, for I havemany a day stood under fire for him in this world, 'et il faut quej'aille encore au feu pour lui apres ma mort. '. "

He received in good part the consolations I offered him on this head, butI plainly saw they did not, could not relieve his mind from the horribleconviction he lay under, that his soul's safety for ever had beenbartered for his attachment to the emperor. 

This story had brought us to the end of the third bottle of Medoc; and, as I was neither the pope, nor had any very decided intentions of sayingmass, he offered no obstacle to my retiring for the night, and betakingmyself to my bed. 

CHAPTER XXV. 

THE INN AT CHANTRAINE. 

When contrasted with the comforts of an English bed-room in a good hotel, how miserably short does the appearance of a French one fall in theestimation of the tired traveller. In exchange for the carpeted floor, the well-curtained windows, the richly tapestried bed, the well cushionedarm-chair, and the innumerable other luxuries which await him; he hasnought but a narrow, uncurtained bed, a bare floor, occasionally aflagged one, three hard cane-bottomed chairs, and a looking-glass whichmay convey an idea of how you would look under the combined influence ofthe cholera, and a stroke of apoplexy, one half of your face being twicethe length of the other, and the entire of it of a bluish-greentint--pretty enough in one of Turner's landscapes, but not at allbecoming when applied to the "human face divine. " Let no late arrivalfrom the continent contradict me here by his late experiences, which astray twenty pounds and the railroads--(confound them for the same)--have enabled him to acquire. I speak of matters before it occurred toall Charing-Cross and Cheapside to "take the water" between Dover andCalais, and inundate the world with the wit of the Cider Cellar, and theHole in the Wall. No! In the days I write of, the travelled were ofanother genus, and you might dine at Very's or have your loge at "LesItaliens, " without being dunned by your tailor at the one, or confrontedwith your washer-woman at the other. Perhaps I have written all this inthe spite and malice of a man who feels that his louis-d'or only goeshalf as far now as heretofore; and attributes all his diminishedenjoyments and restricted luxuries to the unceasing current of hiscountrymen, whom fate, and the law of imprisonment for debt, impelhither. Whether I am so far guilty or not, is not now the question;suffice it to say, that Harry Lorrequer, for reasons best known tohimself, lives abroad, where he will be most happy to see any of his oldand former friends who take his quarters en route; and in the words of abellicose brother of the pen, but in a far different spirit, he wouldadd, "that any person who feels himself here alluded to, may learn theauthor's address at his publishers. " "Now let us go back to ourmuttons, " as Barney Coyle used to say in the Dublin Library formerly--for Barney was fond of French allusions, which occasionally too hegave in their own tongue, as once describing an interview with LordCloncurry, in which he broke off suddenly the conference, adding, "Itold him I never could consent to such a proposition, and putting mychateau (chapeau) on my head, I left the house at once. "

It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, as accompanied by thewaiter, who, like others of his tribe, had become a kind of somnambulistex-officio, I wended my way up one flight of stairs, and down another, along a narrow corridor, down two steps, through an antechamber, andinto another corridor, to No. 82, my habitation for the night. Why Ishould have been so far conducted from the habitable portion of thehouse I had spent my evening in, I leave the learned in such matters toexplain; as for me, I have ever remarked it, while asking for a chamberin a large roomy hotel, the singular pride with which you are ushered upgrand stair-cases, down passages, through corridors, and up narrow backflights, till the blue sky is seen through the sky-light, to No. 199, "the only spare bed-room in the house, " while the silence and desolationof the whole establishment would seem to imply far otherwise--the onlyevidence of occupation being a pair of dirty Wellingtons at the door ofNo. 2. 

"Well, we have arrived at last, " said I, drawing a deep sigh, as I threwmyself upon a ricketty chair, and surveyed rapidly my meagre-lookingapartment. 

"Yes, this is Monsieur's chamber, " said the waiter, with a very peculiarlook, half servile, half droll. "Madame se couche, No. 28. "

"Very well, good night, " said I, closing the door hastily, and not likingthe farther scrutiny of the fellow's eye, as he fastened it on me, as ifto search what precise degree of relationship existed between myself andmy fair friend, whom he had called "Madame" purposely to elicit anobservation from me. "Ten to one though, " said I, as I undressed myself, "but they think she is my wife--how good--but again--ay, it is verypossible, considering we are in France. Numero vingt-huit, quite farenough from this part of the house I should suppose from my number, --thatold gen-d'arme was a fine fellow--what strong attachment to Napoleon; andthe story of the pope; I hope I may remember that. Isabella, poor girl--this adventure must really distress her--hope she is not crying over it--what a devil of a hard bed--and it is not five feet long too--and, bless my soul, is this all by way of covering; why I shall be perishedhere. Oh! I must certainly put all my clothes over me in addition, unfortunately there is no hearth-rug--well, there is no help for it now--so let me try to sleep--numero vingt-huit. "

How long I remained in a kind of uneasy, fitful slumber, I cannot tell;but I awoke shivering with cold--puzzled to tell where I was, and mybrain addled with the broken fragments of half a dozen dreams, allmingling and mixing themselves with the unpleasant realities of mysituation. What an infernal contrivance for a bed, thought I, as my headcame thump against the top, while my legs projected far beyond thefoot-rail; the miserable portion of clothing over me at the same timebeing only sufficient to temper the night air, which in autumn isoccasionally severe and cutting. This will never do. I must ring thebell and rouse the house, if only to get a fire, if they don't possesssuch a thing as blankets. I immediately rose, and groping my way alongthe wall endeavoured to discover the bell, but in vain; and for the samesatisfactory reason that Von Troil did not devote one chapter of hiswork on "Iceland" to "snakes, " because there were none such there. Whatwas now to be done? About the geography of my present abode I knew, perhaps, as much as the public at large know about the Coppermine riverand Behring's straits. The world, it was true, was before me, "wheretop choose, " admirable things for an epic, but decidedly an unfortunatecircumstance for a very cold gentleman in search of a blanket. Thusthinking, I opened the door of my chamber, and not in any way resolvedhow I should proceed, I stepped forth into the long corridor, which wasdark as midnight itself. 

Tracing my path along the wall, I soon reached a door which I in vainattempted to open; in another moment I found another and another, each ofwhich were locked. Thus along the entire corridor I felt my way, makingevery effort to discover where any of the people of the house might haveconcealed themselves, but without success. What was to be done now? Itwas of no use to go back to my late abode, and find it comfortless as Ileft it; so I resolved to proceed in my search; by this time I hadarrived at the top of a small flight of stairs, which I remembered havingcome up, and which led to another long passage similar to the one I hadexplored, but running in a transverse direction, down this I now crept, and reached the landing, along the wall of which I was guided by my hand, as well for safety as to discover the architrave of some friendly door, where the inhabitant might be sufficiently Samaritan to lend some portionof his bed-clothes; door after door followed in succession along thisconfounded passage, which I began to think as long as the gallery of thelower one; at last, however, just as my heart was sinking within me fromdisappointment, the handle of a lock turned, and I found myself inside achamber. How was I now to proceed? for if this apartment did not containany of the people of the hotel, I had but a sorry excuse for disturbingthe repose of any traveller who might have been more fortunate thanmyself in the article of blankets. To go back however, would be absurd, having already taken so much trouble to find out a room that wasinhabited--for that such was the case, a short, thick snore assured me--so that my resolve was at once made, to waken the sleeper, andendeavour to interest him in my destitute situation. I accordinglyapproached the place where the nasal sounds seemed to issue from, andsoon reached the post of a bed. I waited for an instant, and thenbegan, "Monsier, voulez vous bien me permettre--"

"As to short whist, I never could make it out, so there is an end of it, "said my unknown friend, in a low, husky voice, which, strangely enough, was not totally unfamiliar to me: but when or how I had heard it before Icould not then think. 

Well, thought I, he is an Englishman at all events, so I hope hispatriotism may forgive my intrusion, so here goes once more to rouse him, though he seems a confoundedly heavy sleeper. "I beg your pardon, sir, but unfortunately in a point like the present, perhaps--"

"Well, do you mark the points, and I'll score the rubber, " said he. 

"The devil take the gambling fellow's dreaming, " thought I, raising myvoice at the same time. 

"Perhaps a cold night, sir, may suffice as my apology. "

"Cold, oh, ay! put a hot poker to it, " muttered he; "a hot poker, alittle sugar, and a spice of nutmeg--nothing else--then it's delicious. "

"Upon my soul, this is too bad, " said I to myself. "Let us see whatshaking will do. Sir, sir, I shall feel obliged by--"

"Well there, don't shake me, and I'll tell you where I hid the cigars--they are under my straw hat in the window. "

"Well, really, " thought I, "if this gentleman's confessions were of aninteresting nature, this might be good fun; but as the night is cold, Imust shorten the 'seance, ' so here goes for one effort more. 

"If, sir, you could kindly spare me even a small portion of yourbed-clothes. "

"No, thank you, no more wine; but I'll sing with pleasure;" and here thewretch, in something like the voice of a frog with the quinsy, began, "'I'd mourn the hopes that leave me. '"

"You shall mourn something else for the same reason, " said I, as losingall patience, I seized quilts and blankets by the corner, and with onevigourous pull wrenched them from the bed, and darted from the room--in asecond I was in the corridor, trailing my spoil behind--which in my hasteI had not time to collect in a bundle. I flew rather than ran along thepassage, reached the stairs, and in another minute had reached the secondgallery, but not before I heard the slam of a door behind me, and thesame instant the footsteps of a person running along the corridor, whocould be no other than my pursuer, effectually aroused by my last appealto his charity. I darted along the dark and narrow passage; but soon tomy horror discovered that I must have passed the door of my chamber, forI had reached the foot of a narrow back stair, which led to the grenierand the servants' rooms, beneath the roof. To turn now would only haveled me plump in the face of my injured countryman, of whose thew andsinew I was perfectly ignorant, and did not much like to venture upon. There was little time for reflection, for he had now reached the top ofthe stair, and was evidently listening for some clue to guide him on;stealthily and silently, and scarcely drawing breath, I mounted thenarrow stairs step by step, but before I had arrived at the landing, heheard the rustle of the bed-clothes, and again gave chace. There wassomething in the unrelenting ardour of his pursuit, which suggested to mymind the idea of a most uncompromising foe; and as fear added speed to mysteps, I dashed along beneath the low-roofed passage, wondering whatchance of escape might yet present itself. Just at this instant, thehand by which I had guided myself along the wall, touched the handle of adoor--I turned it--it opened--I drew in my precious bundle, and closingthe door noiselessly, sat down, breathless and still, upon the floor. 

Scarcely was this, the work of a second, accomplished, when the heavytread of my pursuer resounded on the floor. 

"Upon my conscience it's strange if I haven't you now, my friend, " saidhe: "you're in a cul de sac here, as they say, if I know any thing of thehouse; and faith I'll make a salad of you, when I get you, that's all. Devil a dirtier trick ever I heard tell of. "

Need I say that these words had the true smack of an Irish accent, whichcircumstance, from whatever cause, did not by any means tend to assuagemy fears in the event of discovery. 

However, from such a misfortune my good genius now delivered me; forafter traversing the passage to the end, he at last discovered another, which led by a long flight to the second story, down which he proceeded, venting at every step his determination for vengeance, and his resolutionnot to desist from the pursuit, if it took the entire night for it. 

"Well now, " thought I, "as he will scarcely venture up here again, and asI may, by leaving this, be only incurring the risk of encountering him, my best plan is to stay where I am if it be possible. " With this intent Iproceeded to explore the apartment, which from its perfect stillness, Iconcluded to be unoccupied. After some few minutes groping I reached alow bed, fortunately empty, and although the touch of the bed-clothes ledto no very favourable augury of its neatness or elegance, there waslittle choice at this moment, so I rolled myself up in my recent booty, and resolved to wait patiently for day-break to regain my apartment. 

As always happens in such circumstances, sleep came on me unawares--so at least every one's experience I am sure can testify, that if youare forced to awake early to start by some morning coach, and thatunfortunately you have not got to bed till late at night, the chancesare ten to one, that you get no sleep whatever, simply because you aredesirous for it; but make up your mind ever so resolutely, that you'llnot sleep, and whether your determination be built on motives ofpropriety, duty, convenience, or health, and the chances are just asstrong that you are sound and snoring before ten minutes. 

How many a man has found it impossible, with every effort of his heartand brain aiding his good wishes, to sit with unclosed eyes and earsthrough a dull sermon in the dog-days; how many an expectant, longingheir has yielded to the drowsy influence when endeavouring to lookcontrite under the severe correction of a lecture on extravagance fromhis uncle. Who has not felt the irresistible tendency to "drop off" inthe half hour before dinner at a stupid country-house? I need notcatalogue the thousand other situations in life infinitely more"sleep-compelling" than Morphine; for myself, my pleasantest and soundestmoments of perfect forgetfulness of this dreary world and all its cares, have been taken in an oaken bench, seated bolt upright and vis a vis to alecturer on botany, whose calming accents, united with the softened lightof an autumnal day, piercing its difficult rays through the narrow andcobwebbed windows, the odour of the recent plants and flowers aiding andabetting, all combined to steep the soul in sleep, and you sank byimperceptible and gradual steps into that state of easy slumber, in which"come no dreams, " and the last sounds of the lecturer's "hypogenous andperigenous" died away, becoming beautifully less, till your senses sankinto rest, the syllables "rigging us, rigging us, " seemed to melt away inthe distance and fade from your memory--Peace be with you, Doctor A. IfI owe gratitude any where I have my debt with you. The very memory Ibear of you has saved me no inconsiderable sum in hop and henbane. Without any assistance from the sciences on the present occasion, I wassoon asleep, and woke not till the cracking of whips, and trampling ofhorses' feet on the pavement of the coach-yard apprised me that the worldhad risen to its daily labour, and so should I. From the short survey ofmy present chamber which I took on waking, I conjectured it must havebeen the den of some of the servants of the house upon occasion--two lowtruckle-beds of the meanest description lay along the wall opposite tomine; one of them appeared to have been slept in during the past night, but by what species of animal the Fates alone can tell. An old demi-peaksaddle, capped and tipped with brass, some rusty bits, and straystirrup-irons lay here and there upon the floor; while upon a species ofclothes-rack, attached to a rafter, hung a tarnished suit ofpostillion's livery, cap, jacket, leathers, and jack-boots, all readyfor use; and evidently from their arrangement supposed by the owner tobe a rather creditable "turn out. "

I turned over these singular habiliments with much of the curiosity withwhich an antiquary would survey a suit of chain armour; the longepaulettes of yellow cotton cord, the heavy belt with its brass buckle, the cumbrous boots, plaited and bound with iron like churns were inrather a ludicrous contrast to the equipment of our light and jockey-likeboys in nankeen jackets and neat tops, that spin along over our level"macadam. "

"But, " thought I, "it is full time I should get back to No. 82, and makemy appearance below stairs;" though in what part of the building my roomlay, and how I was to reach it without my clothes, I had not theslightest idea. A blanket is an excessively comfortable article ofwearing apparel when in bed, but as a walking costume is by no meansconvenient or appropriate; while to making a sorti en sauvage, howeverappropriate during the night, there were many serious objections if done"en plein jour, " and with the whole establishment awake and active; thenoise of mopping, scrubbing, and polishing, which is eternally goingforward in a foreign inn amply testified there was nothing which I couldadopt in my present naked and forlorn condition, save the bizarre andridiculous dress of the postillion, and I need not say the thought of sodoing presented nothing agreeable. I looked from the narrow window outupon the tiled roof, but without any prospect of being heard if I calledever so loudly. 

The infernal noise of floor-cleansing, assisted by a Norman peasant's"chanson du pays, " the time being well marked by her heavy sabots, gaveeven less chance to me within; so that after more than half an hourpassed in weighing difficulties, and canvassing plans, upon donning theblue and yellow, and setting out for my own room without delay, hopingsincerely, that with proper precaution, I should be able to reach itunseen and unobserved. 

As I laid but little stress upon the figure I should make in my newhabiliments, it did not cause me much mortification to find that theclothes were considerably too small, the jacket scarcely coming beneathmy arms, and the sleeves being so short that my hands and wristsprojected beyond the cuffs like two enormous claws; the leathers werealso limited in their length, and when drawn up to a proper height, permitted my knees to be seen beneath, like the short costume of aSpanish Tauridor, but scarcely as graceful; not wishing to encumbermyself in the heavy and noisy masses of wood, iron, and leather, theycall "les bottes forts, " I slipped my feet into my slippers, and stolegently from the room. How I must have looked at the moment I leave myreader to guess, as with anxious and stealthy pace I crept along the lowgallery that led to the narrow staircase, down which I proceeded, step bystep; but just as I reached the bottom, perceived a little distance fromme, with her back turned towards me, a short, squat peasant on her knees, belabouring with a brush the well waxed floor; to pass therefore, unobserved was impossible, so that I did not hesitate to address her, andendeavour to interest her in my behalf, and enlist her as my guide. 

"Bon jour, ma chere, " said I in a soft insinuating tone; she did not hearme, so I repeated, "Bon jour, ma chere, bon jour. "

Upon this she turned round, and looking fixedly at me for a second, called out in a thick pathos, "Ah, le bon Dieu! qu'il est drole comme ca, Francois, savez vous, mais ce n'est pas Francois;" saying which, shesprang from her kneeling position to her feet, and with a speed that hershape and sabots seemed little to promise, rushed down the stairs as ifshe had seen the devil himself. 

"Why, what is the matter with the woman?" said I, "surely if I am notFrancois--which God be thanked is true--yet I cannot look so frightful asall this would imply. " I had not much time given me for considerationnow, for before I had well deciphered the number over a door before me, the loud noise of several voices on the floor beneath attracted myattention, and the moment after the heavy tramp of feet followed, and inan instant the gallery was thronged by the men and women of the house--waiters, hostlers, cooks, scullions, filles de chambre, mingled withgens-d'armes, peasants, and town's people, all eagerly forcing their wayup stairs; yet all on arriving at the landing-place, seemed disposed tokeep at a respectful distance, and bundling themselves at one end of thecorridor, while I, feelingly alive to the ridiculous appearance I made, occupied the other--the gravity with which they seemed at first disposedto regard me soon gave way, and peal after peal of laughter broke out, and young and old, men and women, even to the most farouche gens-d'armes, all appearing incapable of controlling the desire for merriment my mostsingular figure inspired; and unfortunately this emotion seemed topromise no very speedy conclusion; for the jokes and witticisms made uponmy appearance threatened to renew the festivities, ad libitum. 

"Regardez donc ses epaules, " said one. 

"Ah, mon Dieu! Il me fait l'idee d'une grenouille aves ses jambesjaunes, " cried another. 

"Il vaut son pesant de fromage pour une Vaudeville, " said the director ofthe strolling theatre of the place. 

"I'll give seventy francs a week, 'd'appointment, ' and 'Scribe' shallwrite a piece express for himself, if he'll take it. "

"May the devil fly away with your grinning baboon faces, " said I, as Irushed up the stairs again, pursued by the mob at full cry; scarcely, however, had I reached the top step, when the rough hand of thegen-d'arme seized me by the shoulder, while he said in a low, huskyvoice, "c'est inutile, Monsieur, you cannot escape--the thing was wellcontrived, it is true; but the gens-d'armes of France are not easilyoutwitted, and you could not have long avoided detection, even in thatdress. " It was my turn to laugh now, which, to their very greatamazement, I did, loud and long; that I should have thought my presentcostume could ever have been the means of screening me from observation, however it might have been calculated to attract it, was rather tooabsurd a supposition even for the mayor of a village to entertain;besides, it only now occurred to me that I was figuring in the characterof a prisoner. The continued peals of laughing which this mistake ontheir part elicited from me seemed to afford but slight pleasure to mycaptor, who gruffly said--

"When you have done amusing yourself, mon ami, perhaps you will do us thefavour to come before the mayor. "

"Certainly, " I replied; "but you will first permit me to resume my ownclothes, I am quite sick of masquerading 'en postillion. '"

"Not so fast, my friend, " said the suspicious old follower of Fouche--"not so fast; it is but right the maire should see you in the disguiseyou attempted your escape in. It must be especially mentioned in theproces verbal. "

"Well, this is becoming too ludicrous, " said I. "It need not take fiveminutes to satisfy you why, how, and where, I put on these confoundedrags--"

"Then tell it to the maire, at the Bureau. "

"But for that purpose it is not necessary I should be conducted throughthe streets in broad day, to be laughed at. No, positively, I'll not go. In my own dress I'll accompany you with pleasure. "

"Victor, Henri, Guillame, " said the gen-d'arme, addressing hiscompanions, who immediately closed round me. "You see, " added he, "thereis no use in resisting. "

Need I recount my own shame and ineffable disgrace? Alas! it is too, too true. Harry Lorrequer--whom Stultze entreated to wear his coats, the ornament of Hyde Park, the last appeal in dress, fashion, andequipage--was obliged to parade through the mob of a market-town inFrance, with four gens-d'armes for his companions, and he himself habitedin a mongrel character--half postillion, half Delaware Indian. Theincessant yells of laughter--the screams of the children, and theoutpouring of every species of sarcasm and ridicule, at my expense, werenot all--for, as I emerged from the porte-chochere I saw Isabella in thewindow: her eyes were red with weeping; but no sooner had she beheld me, than she broke out into a fit of laughter that was audible even in thestreet. 

Rage had now taken such a hold upon me, that I forgot my ridiculousappearance in my thirst for vengeance. I marched on through the grinningcrowd, with the step of a martyr. I suppose my heroic bearing andwarlike deportment must have heightened the drollery of the scene; forthe devils only laughed the more. The bureau of the maire could notcontain one-tenth of the anxious and curious individuals who throngedthe entrance, and for about twenty minutes the whole efforts of thegens-d'armes were little enough to keep order and maintain silence. Atlength the maire made his appearance, and accustomed as he had been fora long life to scenes of an absurd and extraordinary nature, yet theridicule of my look and costume was too much, and he laughed outright. This was of course the signal for renewed mirth for the crowd, whilethose without doors, infected by the example, took up the jest, and Ihad the pleasure of a short calculation, a la Babbage, of how manymaxillary jaws were at that same moment wagging at my expense. 

However, the examination commenced; and I at length obtained anopportunity of explaining under what circumstances I had left my room, and how and why I had been induced to don this confounded cause of all mymisery. 

"This may be very true, " said the mayor, "as it is very plausible; if youhave evidence to prove what you have stated--"

"If it's evidence only is wanting, Mr. Maire, I'll confirm one part ofthe story, " said a voice in the crowd, in an accent and tone that assuredme the speaker was the injured proprietor of the stolen blankets. Iturned round hastily to look at my victim, and what was my surprise torecognize a very old Dublin acquaintance, Mr. Fitzmaurice O'Leary. 

"Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer, " said he; "this is mighty like our ouldpractices in College-green; but upon my conscience the maire has theadvantage of Gabbet. It's lucky for you I know his worship, as we'd callhim at home, or this might be a serious business. Nothing would persuadethem that you were not Lucien Buonaparte, or the iron mask, or somethingof that sort, if they took it into their heads. "

Mr. O'Leary was as good as his word. In a species of French, that I'dventure to say would be perfectly intelligible in Mullingar, he contrivedto explain to the maire that I was neither a runaway nor a swindler, buta very old friend of his, and consequently sans reproche. The officialwas now as profuse of his civilities as he had before been of hissuspicions, and most hospitably pressed us to stay for breakfast. This, for many reasons, I was obliged to decline--not the least of which was, my impatience to get out of my present costume. We accordingly procured acarriage, and I returned to the hotel, screened from the gaze but stillaccompanied by the shouts of the mob, who evidently took a most livelyinterest in the entire proceeding. 

I lost no time in changing my costume, and was about to descendto the saloon, when the master of the house came to inform me thatMrs. Bingham's courier had arrived with the carriage, and that sheexpected us at Amiens as soon as possible. 

"That is all right. Now, Mr. O'Leary, I must pray you to forgiveall the liberty I have taken with you, and also permit me to defer theexplanation of many circumstances which seem at present strange, till--"

"Till sine die, if the story be a long one, my dear sir--there's nothingI hate so much, except cold punch. "

"You are going to Paris, " said I; "is it not so?"

"Yes, I'm thinking of it. I was up at Trolhatten, in Norway, three weeksago, and I was obliged to leave it hastily, for I've an appointment witha friend in Geneva. "

"Then how do you travel?"

"On foot, just as you see, except that I've a tobacco bag up stairs, andan umbrella. "

"Light equipment, certainly; but you must allow me to give you a set downas far as Amiens, and also to present you to my friends there. "

To this Mr. O'Leary made no objection; and as Miss Bingham could not bearany delay, in her anxiety to join her mother, we set out at once--theonly thing to mar my full enjoyment at the moment being the sight of theidentical vestments I had so lately figured in, bobbing up and downbefore my eyes for the whole length of the stage, and leadingto innumerable mischievous allusions from my friend Mr. O'Leary, which were far too much relished by my fair companion. 

At twelve we arrived at Amiens, when I presented my friend Mr. O'Leary toMrs. Bingham. 

CHAPTER XXVI. 

MR. O'LEARY. 

At the conclusion of my last chapter I was about to introduce to myreader's acquaintance my friend Mr. O'Leary; and, as he is destined tooccupy some place in the history of these Confessions, I may, perhaps, bepermitted to do so at more length than his intrinsic merit at first sightmight appear to warrant. 

Mr. O'Leary was, and I am induced to believe is, a particularly short, fat, greasy-looking gentleman, with a head as free from phrenologicaldevelopment as a billiard-ball, and a countenance which, in feature andcolour, nearly resembled the face of a cherub, carved in oak, as we seethem in old pulpits. 

Short as is his stature, his limbs compose the least part of it. Hishands and feet, forming some compensation by their ample proportions, with short, thick fins, vulgarly called a cobbler's thumb. His voicevarying in cadence from a deep barytone, to a high falsetto, maintainsthroughout the distinctive characteristic of a Dublin accent andpronunciation, and he talks of the "Veel of Ovoca, and a beef-steek, "with some price of intonation. What part of the Island he cameoriginally from, or what may be his age, are questions I have the mostprofound ignorance of; I have heard many anecdotes which would imply hisbeing what the French call "d'un age mur"--but his own observations aregenerally limited to events occurring since the peace of "fifteen. " Tohis personal attractions, such as they are, he has never been solicitousof contributing by the meretricious aids of dress. His coat, calculatingfrom its length of waist, and ample skirt, would fit Bumbo Green, whilehis trowsers, being made of some cheap and shrinking material, havegradually contracted their limits, and look now exactly likeknee-breeches, without the usual buttons at the bottom. 

These, with the addition of a pair of green spectacles, the glass of onebeing absent, and permitting the look-out of a sharp, grey eye, twinklingwith drollery and good humour, form the most palpable of his externals. In point of character, they who best knew him represented him as thebest-tempered, best-hearted fellow breathing; ever ready to assist afriend, and always postponing his own plans and his own views, when hehad any, to the wishes and intentions of others. Among the many oddthings about him, was a constant preference to travelling on foot, and agreat passion for living abroad, both of which tastes he gratified, although his size might seem to offer obstacles to the one, and his totalignorance of every continental language, would appear to preclude theother; with a great liking for tobacco, which he smoked all day--afondness for whist and malt liquors--his antipathies were few; so thatexcept when called upon to shave more than once in the week, or wash hishands twice on the same day, it was difficult to disconcert him. Hisfortune was very ample; but although his mode of living was neither veryostentatious nor costly, he contrived always to spend his income. Suchwas the gentleman I now presented to my friends, who, I must confess, appeared strangely puzzled by his manner and appearance. This feeling, however, soon wore off; and before he had spent the morning in theircompany, he had made more way in their good graces, and gone farther toestablish intimacy, than many a more accomplished person, with anunexceptionable coat and accurate whisker might have effected ina fortnight. What were his gifts in this way, I am, alas, mostdeplorably ignorant of; it was not, heaven knows, that he possessed anyconversational talent--of successful flattery he knew as much as a negrodoes of the national debt--and yet the "bon-hommie" of his characterseemed to tell at once; and I never knew him fail in any one instance toestablish an interest for himself before he had completed the ordinaryperiod of a visit. 

I think it is Washington Irving who has so admirably depicted themortification of a dandy angler, who, with his beaver garnished withbrown hackles, his well-posed rod, polished gaff, and handsomelanding-net, with every thing befitting, spends his long summer daywhipping a trout stream without a rise or even a ripple to reward him, while a ragged urchin, with a willow wand, and a bent pin, not ten yardsdistant, is covering the greensward with myriads of speckled and scalybacks, from one pound weight to four; so it is in every thing--"the raceis not to the swift;" the elements of success in life, whatever be theobject of pursuit, are very, very different from what we think them atfirst sight, and so it was with Mr. O'Leary, and I have more than oncewitnessed the triumph of his homely manner and blunt humour over themore polished and well-bred taste of his competitors for favour; andwhat might have been the limit to such success, heaven alone can tell, if it were not that he laboured under a counter-balancing infirmity, sufficient to have swamped a line-of-battle ship itself. It was simplythis--a most unfortunate propensity to talk of the wrong place, person, or time, in any society he found himself; and this taste for the malapropos, extended so far, that no one ever ventured into company withhim as his friend, without trembling for the result; but even this, Ibelieve his only fault, resulted from the natural goodness of hischaracter and intentions; for, believing as he did, in his honestsimplicity, that the arbitrary distinctions of class and rank were heldas cheaply by others as himself, he felt small scruple at recounting toa duchess a scene in a cabaret, and with as little hesitation would he, if asked, have sung the "Cruiskeen lawn, " or the "Jug of Punch, " afterLablanche had finished the "Al Idea, " from Figaro. 'Mauvaise honte, ' hehad none; indeed I am not sure that he had any kind of shame whatever, except possibly when detected with a coat that bore any appearance ofnewness, or if overpersuaded to wear gloves, which he ever considered asa special effeminacy. 

Such, in a few words, was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, and how far he insinuated himself into their good graces, let the facttell, that on my return to the breakfast-room, after about an hour'sabsence, I heard him detailing the particulars of a route they were totake by his advice, and also learned that he had been offered and hadaccepted a seat in their carriage to Paris. 

"Then I'll do myself the pleasure of joining your party, Mrs. Bingham, "said he. "Bingham, I think, madam, is your name. "

"Yes, Sir. "

"Any relation, may I ask, of a most dear friend of mine, of the samename, from Currynaslattery, in the county Wexford?"

"I am really not aware, " said Mrs. Bingham. "My husband's family are, Ibelieve, many of them from that county. "

"Ah, what a pleasant fellow was Tom!" said Mr. O'Leary musingly, and with that peculiar tone which made me tremble, for I knew wellthat a reminiscence was coming. "A pleasant fellow indeed. "

"Is he alive, sir, now?"

"I believe so, ma'am; but I hear the climate does not agree with him. "

"Ah, then, he's abroad! In Italy probably?"

"No, ma'am, in Botany Bay. His brother, they say, might have saved him, but he left poor Tom to his fate, for he was just then paying court to aMiss Crow, I think, with a large fortune. Oh, Lord, what have I said, it's always the luck of me!" The latter exclamation was the result of aheavy saugh upon the floor, Mrs. Bingham having fallen in a faint--shebeing the identical lady alluded to, and her husband the brother ofpleasant Tom Bingham. 

To hurl Mr. O'Leary out of the room by one hand, and ring the bell withthe other, was the work of a moment; and with proper care, and in duetime, Mrs. Bingham was brought to herself, when most fortunately, sheentirely forgot the cause of her sudden indisposition; and, of course, neither her daughter nor myself suffered any clue to escape us whichmight lead to its discovery. 

When we were once more upon the road, to efface if it might be necessaryany unpleasant recurrence to the late scene, I proceeded to give Mrs. Bingham an account of my adventure at Chantraine, in which, of course, Iendeavoured to render my friend O'Leary all the honours of being laughedat in preference to myself, laying little stress upon my masquerading inthe jack-boots. 

"You are quite right, " said O'Leary, joining in the hearty laugh againsthim, "quite right, I was always a very heavy sleeper--indeed if I wasn'tI wouldn't be here now, travelling about en garcon, free as air;" here heheaved a sigh, which from its incongruity with his jovial look and happyexpression, threw us all into renewed laughter. 

"But why, Mr. O'Leary--what can your sleepiness have to do with suchtender recollections, for such, I am sure, that sigh bespeaks them?"

"Ah! ma'am, it may seem strange, but it is nevertheless true, if it werenot for that unfortunate tendency, I should now be the happy possessor ofa most accomplished and amiable lady, and eight hundred per annum threeand a half per cent. Stock. "

"You overslept yourself on the wedding-day, I suppose. "

"You shall hear, ma'am, the story is a very short one: It is now abouteight years ago, I was rambling through the south of France, and had justreached Lyons, where the confounded pavement, that sticks up like pears, with the point upwards, had compelled me to rest some days and recruit;for this purpose I installed myself in the pension of Madame Gourgead, Rue de Petits Carmes, a quiet house--where we dined at twelve, ten innumber, upon about two pounds of stewed beef, with garlic and carrots--a light soup, being the water which accompanied the same to render ittender in stewing--some preserved cherries, and an omelette, with a pintbottle of Beaune, 6me qualite, I believe--a species of pyroligneous winemade from the vine stalks, but pleasant in summer with your salad; thenwe played dominos in the evening, or whist for sous points, leadingaltogether a very quiet and virtuous existence, or as Madame herselfexpressed it, 'une vie tout-a-fait patriarchale;' of this I cannot myselfaffirm how far she was right in supposing the patriarchs did exactly likeus. But to proceed, in the same establishment there lived a widow whoselate husband had been a wine merchant at Dijon--he had also, I supposefrom residing in that country, been imitating the patriarchs, for he diedone day. Well, the lady was delayed at Lyons for some law business, andthus it came about, that her husband's testament and the sharp pavingstones in the streets determined we should be acquainted. I cannotexpress to you the delight of my fair countrywoman at finding that aperson who spoke English had arrived at the 'pension'--a feeling I myselfsomewhat participated in; for to say truth, I was not at that time a verygreat proficient in French. We soon became intimate, in less timeprobably than it could otherwise have happened, for from the ignorance ofall the others of one word of English, I was enabled during dinner to saymany soft and tender things, which one does not usually venture on incompany. 

"I recounted my travels, and told various adventures of my wanderings, till at last, from being merely amused, I found that my fair friend beganto be interested in my narratives; and frequently when passing thebouillon to her, I have seen a tear in the corner of her eye: in a word, 'she loved me for the dangers I had passed, ' as Othello says. Well, laugh away if you like, but it's truth I am telling you. " At this partof Mr. O'Leary's story we all found it impossible to withstand theludicrous mock heroic of his face and tone, and laughed loud and long. When we at length became silent he resumed--"Before three weeks hadpassed over, I had proposed and was accepted, just your own way, Mr. Lorrequer, taking the ball at the hop, the very same way you did atCheltenham, the time the lady jilted you, and ran off with your friendMr. Waller; I read it all in the news, though I was then in Norwayfishing. " Here there was another interruption by a laugh, not, however, at Mr. O'Leary's expense. I gave him a most menacing look, while hecontinued--"the settlements were soon drawn up, and consisted, like allgreat diplomatic documents, of a series of 'gains and compensations;'thus, she was not to taste any thing stronger than kirsch wasser, orNantz brandy; and I limited myself to a pound of short-cut weekly, and soon: but to proceed, the lady being a good Catholic, insisted upon beingmarried by a priest of her own persuasion, before the performance of theceremony at the British embassy in Paris; to this I could offer noobjection, and we were accordingly united in the holy bonds the samemorning, after signing the law papers. "

"Then, Mr. O'Leary, you are really a married man. "

"That's the very point I'm coming to, ma'am; for I've consulted all thejurists upon the subject, and they never can agree. But you shall hear. I despatched a polite note to Bishop Luscombe, and made every arrangementfor the approaching ceremony, took a quartier in the Rue Helder, near theEstaminet, and looked forward with anxiety for the day which was to makemy happy; for our marriage in Lyons was only a kind of betrothal. Now, my fair friend had but one difficulty remaining, poor dear soul--Irefrain from mentioning her name for delicacy sake; but poor dear Mrs. Ram could not bear the notion of our going up to Paris in the sameconveyance, for long as she had lived abroad, she had avoided every thingFrench, even the language, so she proposed that I should go in the early'Diligence, ' which starts at four-o'clock in the morning, while she tookher departure at nine; thus I should be some hours sooner in Paris, andready to receive her on her arriving; besides sparing her bashfulness allreproach of our travelling together. It was no use my telling her thatI always travelled on foot, and hated a 'Diligence;' she coolly repliedthat at our time of life we could not spare the time necessary for apilgrimage to Jerusalem, for so she supposed the journey from Lyons toParis to be; so fearing lest any doubt might be thrown upon the ardour ofmy attachment, I yielded at once, remembering at the moment what my poorfriend Tom Bing--Oh Lord, I'm at it again!"

"Sir, I did not hear. "

"Nothing, ma'am, I was just going to observe, that ladies of a certaintime of life, and widows especially, like a lover that seems a littleardent or so, all the better. " Here Mrs. Bingham blushed, her daughterbridled, and I nearly suffocated with shame and suppressed laughter. 

"After a most tender farewell of my bride or wife, I don't know which, I retired for the night with a mind vacillating between my hopes ofhappiness and my fears for the result of a journey so foreign to all myhabits of travelling, and in which I could not but tremble at the manycasualties my habitual laziness and dislike to any hours but of my ownchoosing might involve me in. 

"I had scarcely lain down in bed, ere these thoughts took such possessionof me, that sleep for once in my life was out of the question; and thenthe misery of getting up at four in the morning--putting on your clothesby the flickering light of the porter's candle--getting your boots on thewrong feet, and all that kind of annoyance--I am sure I fretted myselfinto the feeling of a downright martyr before an hour was over. Well atleast, thought I, one thing is well done, --I have been quite right incoming to sleep here at the Messagerie Hotel, where the diligence startsfrom, or the chances are ten to one that I never should wake till thetime was past. Now, however, they are sure to call me; so I may sleeptranquilly till then. Meanwhile I had forgotten to pack my trunk--mypapers, &c. Laying all about the room in a state of considerableconfusion. I rose at once with all the despatch I could muster; thistook a long time to effect, and it was nearly two o'clock ere I finished, and sat down to smoke a solitary pipe, --the last, as I supposed it mightbe my lot to enjoy for heaven knows how long, Mrs. R. Having expressed, rather late in our intimacy I confess, strong opinions against tobaccowithin doors. 

"When I had finished my little sac of the 'weed, ' the clock struck three, and I started to think how little time I was destined to have in bed. In bed! why, said I, there is no use thinking of it now, for I shallscarcely have lain down ere I shall be obliged to get up again. Sothinking, I set about dressing myself for the road; and by the time I hadenveloped myself in a pair of long Hungarian gaiters, and a kurtcha ofsheep's wool, with a brown bear-skin outside, with a Welsh wig, and apair of large dark glass goggles to defend the eyes from the snow, I wasnot only perfectly impervious to all effects of the weather, but sothoroughly defended from any influence of sight or sound, that a volcanomight be hissing and thundering within ten yards of me, withoutattracting my slightest attention. Now, I thought, instead of remaininghere, I'll just step down to the coach, and get snugly in the diligence, and having secured the corner of the coupe, resign myself to sleep withthe certainty of not being left behind, and, probably, too, be some mileson my journey before awaking. 

"I accordingly went down stairs, and to my surprise found, even at thatearly hour, that many of the garcons of the house were stirring andbustling about, getting all the luggage up in the huge wooden leviathanthat was to convey us on our road. There they stood, like bees around ahive, clustering and buzzing, and all so engaged that with difficultycould I get an answer to my question of, What diligence it was? 'Ladiligence pour Paris, Monsieur. '

"'Ah, all right then, ' said I; so watching an opportunity to do sounobserved, for I supposed they might have laughed at me, I steppedquietly into the coupe; and amid the creaking of cordage, and thethumping of feet on the roof, fell as sound asleep as ever I did in mylife--these sounds coming to my muffled ears, soft as the echoes on theRhine. When it was that I awoke I cannot say; but as I rubbed my eyesand yawned after a most refreshing sleep, I perceived that it was stillquite dark all around, and that the diligence was standing before thedoor of some inn and not moving. Ah, thought I, this is the first stage;how naturally one always wakes at the change of horses, --a kind ofinstinct implanted by Providence, I suppose, to direct us to a littlerefreshment on the road. With these pious feelings I let down the glass, and called out to the garcon for a glass of brandy and a cigar. While hewas bringing them, I had time to look about, and perceived, to my verygreat delight, that I had the whole coupe to myself. 'Are there anypassengers coming in here?' said I, as the waiter came forward with mypetit verre. 'I should think not, sir, ' said the fellow with a leer. 'Then I shall have the whole coupe to myself?' said I. 'Monsieur needhave no fear of being disturbed; I can safely assure him that he willhave no one there for the next twenty-four hours. ' This was reallypleasant intelligence; so I chucked him a ten sous piece, and closing upthe window as the morning was cold, once more lay back to sleep with asuccess that has never failed me. It was to a bright blue cloudless sky, and the sharp clear air of a fine day in winter, that I at length openedmy eyes. I pulled out my watch, and discovered it was exactly twoo'clock; I next lowered the glass and looked about me, and very much tomy surprise discovered that the diligence was not moving, but standingvery peaceably in a very crowded congregation of other similar anddissimilar conveyances, all of which seemed, I thought, to labour undersome physical ailment, some wanting a box, others a body, &c. , &c. And infact suggesting the idea of an infirmary for old and disabled carriagesof either sex, mails and others. 'Oh, I have it, ' cried I, 'we arearrived at Mt. Geran, and they are all at dinner, and from my being alonein the coupe, they have forgotten to call me. ' I immediately opened thedoor and stepped out into the innyard, crowded with conducteurs, grooms, and ostlers, who, I thought, looked rather surprised at seeing me emergefrom the diligence. 

"'You did not know I was there, ' said I, with a knowing wink at one ofthem as I passed. 

"'Assurement non, ' said the fellow with a laugh, that was the signal forall the others to join in it. 'Is the table d'hote over?' said I, regardless of the mirth around me. 'Monsieur is just in time, ' said thewaiter, who happened to pass with a soup-tureen in his hand. 'Have thegoodness to step this way. ' I had barely time to remark the closeresemblance of the waiter to the fellow who presented me with my brandyand cigar in the morning, when he ushered me into a large room with aboutforty persons sitting at a long table, evidently waiting with impatiencefor the 'Potage' to begin their dinner. Whether it was they enjoyed thejoke of having neglected to call me, or that they were laughing at mytravelling costume, I cannot say, but the moment I came in, I couldperceive a general titter run through the assembly. 'Not too late, afterall, gentlemen, ' said I, marching gravely up the table. 

"'Monsieur is in excellent time, ' said the host, making room for mebeside his chair. Notwithstanding the incumbrance of my weightyhabiliments, I proceeded to do ample justice to the viands before me, apologizing laughingly to the host, by pleading a traveller's appetite. 

"'Then you have perhaps come far this morning, ' said a gentlemanopposite. 

"'Yes, ' said I, 'I have been on the road since four o'clock. '

"'And how are the roads?' said another. 'Very bad, ' said I, 'the firstfew stages from Lyons, afterwards much better. ' This was said at aventure, as I began to be ashamed of being always asleep before myfellow-travellers. They did not seem, however, to understand meperfectly; and one old fellow putting down his spectacles from hisforehead, leaned over and said: 'And where, may I ask, has Monsieur comefrom this morning?'

"'From Lyons, ' said I, with the proud air of a man who has done a stoutfeat, and is not ashamed of the exploit. 

"'From Lyons!' said one. 'From Lyons!' cried another. 'From Lyons!'repeated a third. 

"'Yes, ' said I; 'what the devil is so strange in it; travelling is soquick now-a-days, one thinks nothing of twenty leagues before dinner. '

"The infernal shout of laughing that followed my explanation is still inmy ears; from one end of the table to the other there was one continuedha, ha, ha--from the greasy host to the little hunchbacked waiter, theywere all grinning away. 

"'And how did Monsieur travel?' said the old gentleman, who seemed tocarry on the prosecution against me. 

"'By the diligence, the "Aigle noir, "' said I, giving the name with somepride, that I was not altogether ignorant of the conveyance. 

"'The you should certainly not complain of the roads, ' said the hostchuckling; 'for the only journey that diligence has made this day hasbeen from the street-door to the inn-yard; for as they found when theluggage was nearly packed that the axle was almost broken through, theywheeled it round to the court, and prepared another for the travellers. '

"'And where am I now?' said I. 

"'In Lyons, ' said twenty voices, half choked with laughter at myquestion. 

"I was thunderstruck at the news at first; but as I proceeded with mydinner, I joined in the mirth of the party, which certainly was notdiminished on my telling them the object of my intended journey. 

"'I think, young man, ' said the old fellow with the spectacles, 'that youshould take the occurrence as a warning of Providence that marriage willnot suit you. ' I began to be of the same opinion;--but then there wasthe jointure. To be sure, I was to give up tobacco; and perhaps I shouldnot be as free to ramble about as when en garcon. So taking all thingsinto consideration, I ordered in another bottle of burgundy, to drinkMrs. Ram's health--got my passport vised for Barege--and set out for thePyrenees the same evening. "

"And have you never heard any thing more of the lady?" said Mrs. Bingham. 

"Oh, yes. She was faithful to the last; for I found out when at Romelast winter that she had offered a reward for me in the newspapers, andindeed had commenced a regular pursuit of me through the whole continent. And to tell the real fact, I should not now fancy turning my stepstowards Paris, if I had not very tolerable information that she is infull cry after me through the Wengen Alps, I having contrived a paragraphin Galignani, to seduce her thither, and where, with the blessing ofProvidence, if the snow set in early, she must pass the winter. "

CHAPTER XXVII. 

PARIS. 

Nothing more worthy of recording occurred before our arrival at Meuriceon the third day of our journey. My friend O'Leary had, with his usualgood fortune, become indispensable to his new acquaintance, and it wasnot altogether without some little lurking discontent that I perceivedhow much less often my services were called in request since his havingjoined our party; his information, notwithstanding its very scantyextent, was continually relied upon, and his very imperfect Frencheverlastingly called into requisition to interpret a question for theladies. Yes, thought I, "Othello's occupation's gone;" one of two thingshas certainly happened, either Mrs. Bingham and her daughter have noticedmy continued abstraction of mind, and have attributed it to the realcause, the pre-occupation of my affections; or thinking, on the otherhand, that I am desperately in love with one or other of them, havethought that a little show of preference to Mr. O'Leary may stimulate meto a proposal at once. In either case I resolved to lose no time intaking my leave, which there could be no difficulty in doing now, as theladies had reached their intended destination, and had numerous friendsin Paris to advise and assist them; besides that I had too long neglectedthe real object of my trip, and should lose no time in finding out theCallonbys, and at once learn what prospect of success awaited me in thatquarter. Leaving my fair friends then to refresh themselves after thejourney, and consigning Mr. O'Leary to the enjoyment of his meershaum, through the aid of which he had rendered his apartment like a Dutch swampin autumn, the only portion of his own figure visible through the mistbeing his short legs and heavy shoes. 

On reaching the house in the Rue de la Paix, where the Callonbys hadresided, I learned that they were still at Baden, and were not expectedin Paris for some weeks; that Lord Kilkee had arrived that morning, andwas then dining at the Embassy, having left an invitation for me to dinewith him on the following day, if I happened to call. As I turned fromthe door, uncertain whither to turn my steps, I walked on unconsciouslytowards the Boulevard, and occupied as I was, thinking over all thechances before me, did not perceive where I stood till the bright glareof a large gas lamp over my head apprised me that I was at the door ofthe well known Salon des Etrangers, at the corner of the Rue Richelieu;carriages, citadines, and vigilantes were crowding, crashing, andclattering on all sides, as the host of fashion and the gaming-table werehastening to their champ de bataille. Not being a member of the Salon, and having little disposition to enter, if I had been, I stood for someminutes looking at the crowd as it continued to press on towards thesplendid and brilliantly lighted stairs, which leads from the very streetto the rooms of the palace, for such, in the magnificence and luxury ofits decorations, it really is. As I was on the very eve of turningaway, a large and very handsome cab-horse turned the corner from thebalustrade, with the most perfect appointment of harness and carriageI had seen for a long time. 

While I continued to admire the taste and propriety of the equipage, ayoung man in deep mourning sprung from the inside and stood upon thepavement before me. "A deux heures, Charles, " said he to his servant, as the cab turned slowly around. The voice struck me as well known. Iwaited till he approached the lamp, to catch a glimpse of the face; andwhat was my surprise to recognise my cousin, Guy Lorrequer of the 10th, whom I had not met with for six years before. My first impulse was notto make myself known to him. Our mutual position with regard to LadyJane was so much a mystery, as regarded myself, that I feared the resultof any meeting, until I was sufficiently aware of how matters stood, andwhether we were to meet as friends and relations, or rivals, andconsequently enemies. 

Before I had time to take my resolution, Guy had recognised me, andseizing me by the hand with both his, called, "Harry, my old friend, howare you? how long have you been here, and never to call on me? Why man, what is the meaning of this?" Before I had time to say that I was only afew hours in Paris, he again interrupted me by saying: "And how comes itthat you are not in mourning? You must surely have heard it. "

"Heard what?" I cried, nearly hoarse from agitation. "Our poor oldfriend, Sir Guy, didn't you know, is dead. " Only those who have felt howstrong the ties of kindred are, as they decrease in number, can tell howthis news fell upon my heart. All my poor uncle's kindnesses came one byone full upon my memory; his affectionate letters of advice; hiswell-meant chidings, too, even dearer to me than his praise and approval, completely unmanned me; and I stood speechless and powerless before mycousin as he continued to detail to me the rapid progress of Sir Guy'smalady, and attack of gout in the head, which carried him off in threedays. Letters had been sent to me in different places, but none reached;and at the very moment the clerk of my uncle's lawyer was in pursuit ofme through the highlands, where some mistaken information had induced himto follow me. 

"You are, therefore, " continued Guy, "unaware that our uncle has dealt sofairly by you, and indeed by both of us; I have got the Somersetshireestates, which go with the baronetcy; but the Cumberland property is allyours; and I heartily wish you joy of having nearly eight thousand perannum, and one of the sweetest villas that ever man fancied onDerwentwater. But come along here, " continued he, and he led me throughthe crowded corridor and up the wide stair. "I have much to tell you, and we can be perfectly alone here; no one will trouble themselves withus. " Unconscious of all around me, I followed Guy along the gilded andglittering lobby, which led to the Salon, and it was only as the servantin rich livery came forward to take my hat and cane that I rememberedwhere I was. Then the full sense of all I had been listening to rushedupon me, and the unfitness, and indeed the indecency of the place forsuch communications as we were engaged in, came most forcibly before me. Sir Guy, it is true, had always preferred my cousin to me; he it was whowas always destined to succeed both to his title and his estates, and hiswildness and extravagance had ever met with a milder rebuke and weakerchastisement than my follies and my misfortunes. Yet still he was mylast remaining relative; the only one I possessed in all the world towhom in any difficulty or trial I had to look up; and I felt, in the verymidst of my newly acquired wealth and riches, poorer and more alone thanever I had done in my lifetime. I followed Guy to a small and dimlylighted cabinet off the great salon, where, having seated ourselves, heproceeded to detail to me the various events which a few short weeks hadaccomplished. Of himself he spoke but little, and never once alluded tothe Callonbys at all; indeed all I could learn was that he had left thearmy, and purposed remaining for the winter at Paris, where he appearedto have entered into all its gaiety and dissipation at once. 

"Of course, " said he, "you will give up 'sodgering' now; at the best itis but poor sport after five and twenty, and is perfectly unendurablewhen a man has the means of pushing himself in the gay world; and now, Harry, let us mix a little among the mob here; for Messieurs lesBanquiers don't hold people in estimation who come here only for the'chapons au riz. ' and the champagne glacee, as we should seem to do werewe to stay here much longer. "

Such was the whirl of my thoughts, and so great the confusion in my ideasfrom all I had just heard, that I felt myself implicitly following everydirection of my cousin with a child-like obedience, of the full extentof which I became only conscious when I found myself seated at the tableof the Salon, between my cousin Guy and an old, hard-visaged, pale-countenanced man, who he told me in a whisper was Vilelle theMinister. 

What a study for the man who would watch the passions and emotions of hisfellow-men, would the table of a rouge et noir gambling-house present--the skill and dexterity which games of other kinds require, being herewanting, leave the player free to the full abandonment of the passion. The interest is not a gradually increasing or vacillating one, as fortuneand knowledge of the game favour; the result is uninfluenced by any thingof his doing; with the last turned card of the croupier is he rich orruined; and thus in the very abstraction of the anxiety is this the mostpainfully exciting of all gambling whatever; the very rattle of thedice-box to the hazard player is a relief; and the thought that he is insome way instrumental in his good or bad fortune gives a turn to histhoughts. There is something so like the inevitable character of fateassociated with the result of a chance, which you can in no way affector avert, that I have, notwithstanding a strong bias for play, everdreaded and avoided the rouge et noir table; hitherto prudential motiveshad their share in the resolve; a small loss at play becomes a matter ofimportance to a sub in a marching regiment; and therefore I was firm inmy determination to avoid the gambling-table. Now my fortunes werealtered; and as I looked at the heap of shining louis d'or, which Guypushed before me in exchange for a billet de banque of large amount, Ifelt the full importance of my altered position, mingling with the oldand long practised prejudices which years had been accumulating to fix. There is besides some wonderful fascination to most men in the veryaspect of high play: to pit your fortune against that of another--to seewhether or not your luck shall not exceed some others--are feelings thathave a place in most bosoms, and are certainly, if not naturallyexisting, most easily generated in the bustle and excitement of thegambling-house. The splendour of the decorations; the rich profusion ofgilded ornaments; the large and gorgeously framed mirrors; the sparklinglustres; mingling their effect with the perfumed air of the apartment, filled with orange trees and other aromatic shrubs; the dress of thecompany, among whom were many ladies in costumes not inferior to thoseof a court; the glitter of diamonds; the sparkle of stars anddecorations, rendered more magical by knowing that the wearers werenames in history. There, with his round but ample shoulder, and largemassive head, covered with long snow-white hair, stands Talleyrand, themaker and unmaker of kings, watching with a look of ill-concealedanxiety the progress of his game. Here is Soult, with his dogged lookand beetled brow; there stands Balzac the author, his gains here areless derived from the betting than the bettors; he is evidently makinghis own of some of them, while in the seeming bon hommie of his carelessmanners and easy abandon, they scruple not to trust him with anecdotesand traits, that from the crucible of his fiery imagination come forth, like the purified gold from the furnace. And there, look at that old andweather-beaten man, with grey eyebrows, and moustaches, who throws fromthe breast-pocket of his frock ever and anon, a handful of gold piecesupon the table; he evidently neither knows nor cares for the amount, forthe banker himself is obliged to count over the stake for him--that isBlucher, the never-wanting attendant at the Salon; he has been animmense loser, but plays on with the same stern perseverance with whichhe would pour his bold cavalry through a ravine torn by artillery; hestands by the still waning chance with a courage that never falters. 

One strong feature of the levelling character of a taste for play hasnever ceased to impress me most forcibly--not only do the individualpeculiarities of the man give way before the all-absorbing passion--butstranger still, the very boldest traits of nationality even fade anddisappear before it; and man seems, under the high-pressure power of thisgreatest of all stimulants, resolved into a most abstract state. 

Among all the traits which distinguish Frenchmen from natives of everycountry, none is more prominent than a kind of never-failing elasticityof temperament, which seems almost to defy all the power of misfortune todepress. Let what will happen, the Frenchman seems to possess somestrong resource within himself, in his ardent temperament, upon which hecan draw at will; and whether on the day after a defeat, the moment ofbeing deceived in his strongest hopes of returned affection--theoverthrow of some long-cherished wish--it matters not--he never gives wayentirely; but see him at the gaming-table--watch the intense, the achinganxiety with which his eye follows every card as it falls from the handof the croupier--behold the look of cold despair that tracks his stake asthe banker rakes it in among his gains--and you will at once perceivethat here, at least, his wonted powers fail him. No jest escapes thelips of one, that would badinet upon the steps of the guillotine. Themocker who would jeer at the torments of revolution, stands like a cowardquailing before the impassive eye and pale cheek of a croupier. WhileI continued to occupy myself by observing the different groups about me, I had been almost mechanically following the game, placing at each dealsome gold upon the table; the result however had interested me soslightly, that it was only by remarking the attention my game had excitedin others, that my own was drawn towards it. I then perceived that I hadpermitted my winnings to accumulate upon the board, and that in the verydeal then commencing, I had a stake of nearly five hundred pounds uponthe deal. 

"Faites votre jeu, le jeu est fait, " said the croupier, "trente deux. "

"You have lost, by Jove, " said Guy, in a low whisper, in which I coulddetect some trait of agitation. 

"Trente et une, " added the croupier. "Rouge perd, et couleur. "

There was a regular buz of wonder through the room at my extraordinaryluck, for thus, with every chance against me, I had won again. 

As the croupier placed the billets de banque upon the table, I overheardthe muttered commendations of an old veteran behind me, upon the coolnessand judgment of my play; so much for fortune, thought I, my judgmentconsists in a perfect ignorance of the chances, and my coolness is merelya thorough indifference to success; whether it was now that the flatteryhad its effect upon me, or that the passion for play, so long dormant, had suddenly seized hold upon me, I know not, but my attention becamefrom that moment rivetted upon the game, and I played every deal. Guy, who had been from the first betting with the indifferent success which Ihave so often observed to attend upon the calculations of old andexperienced gamblers, now gave up, and employed himself merely inwatching my game. 

"Harry, " said he at last, "I am completely puzzled as to whether you aremerely throwing down your louis at hazard, or are not the deepest playerI have ever met with. "

"You shall see, " said I, as I stooped over towards the banker, andwhispered, "how far is the betting permitted?"

"Fifteen thousand francs, " said the croupier, with a look of surprise. 

"Then be it, " said I; "quinze mille francs, rouge. "

In a moment the rouge won, and the second deal I repeated the bet, and socontinuing on with the like success; when I was preparing my rouleau forthe fifth, the banquier rose, and saying--

"Messiers, la banque est fermee pour ce soir, " proceeded to lock hiscasette, and close the table. 

"You are satisfied now, " said Guy, rising, "you see you have broke thebanque, and a very pretty incident to commence with your firstintroduction to a campaign in Paris. "

Having changed my gold for notes, I stuffed them, with an air ofwell-affected carelessness, into my pocket, and strolled through theSalon, where I had now become an object of considerably more interestthan all the marshals and ministers about me. 

"Now, Hal, " said Guy, "I'll just order our supper in the cabinet, andjoin you in a moment. "

As I remained for some minutes awaiting Guy's return, my attention wasdrawn towards a crowd, in a smaller salon, among whom the usual silentdecorum of the play-table seemed held in but small respect, for everyinstant some burst of hearty laughter, or some open expression of joy oranger burst forth, by which I immediately perceived that they were thevotaries of the roulette table, a game at which the strict propriety andetiquette ever maintained at rouge et noir, are never exacted. As Ipressed nearer, to discover the cause of the mirth, which every momentseemed to augment, guess my surprise to perceive among the foremost rankof the players, my acquaintance, Mr. O'Leary, whom I at that momentbelieved to be solacing himself with his meershaum at Meurice. Myastonishment at how he obtained admission to the Salon was even less thanmy fear of his recognising me. At no time is it agreeable to find thatthe man who is regarded as the buffo of a party turns out to be yourfriend, but still less is this so, when the individual claimingacquaintance with you presents any striking absurdity in his dress ormanner, strongly at contrast with the persons and things about him; andthus it now happened--Mr. O'Leary's external man, as we met him on theCalais road, with its various accompaniments of blouse-cap, spectacles, and tobacco-pipe, were nothing very outre or remarkable, but when thesame figure presented itself among the elegans of the Parisian world, redolent of eau de Portugal, and superb in the glories of brocadewaistcoats and velvet coats, the thing was too absurd, and I longed tosteal away before any chance should present itself of a recognition. This, however, was impossible, as the crowd from the other table were allgathered round us, and I was obliged to stand fast, and trust that theexcitement of the game, in which he appeared to be thoroughly occupied, might keep his eye fixed on another quarter; I now observed that the samescene in which I had so lately been occupied at the rouge et noir table, was enacting here, under rather different circumstances. Mr. O'Leary wasthe only player, as I had just been--not, however, because his successabsorbed all the interest of the bystanders, but that, unfortunately, hisconstant want of it elicited some strong expression of discontent andmistrust from him, which excited the loud laughter of the others; but ofwhich, from his great anxiety in his game, he seemed totally unconscious. 

"Faites votre jeu, Messieurs, " said the croupier. 

"Wait a bit till I change this, " said Mr. O'Leary, producing an Englishsovereign; the action interpreted his wishes, and the money was convertedinto coupons de jeu. 

I now discovered one great cause of the mirth of the bystanders, at leastthe English portion of them. Mr. O'Leary, when placing his money uponthe table, observed the singular practice of announcing aloud the amountof his bet, which, for his own information, he not only reduced toEnglish but also Irish currency; thus the stillness of the room was everyinstant broken by a strong Irish accent pronouncing something of thissort--"five francs, " "four and a penny"--"ten francs, " "eight and threeha'pence. " The amusement thus caused was increased by the excitement hislosses threw him into. He now ceased to play for several times, when atlast, he made an offering of his usual stake. 

"Perd, " said the croupier, raking in the piece with a contemptuous airat the smallness of the bet, and in no way pleased that the interestMr. O'Leary excited should prevent the other players from betting. 

"Perd, " said O'Leary, "again. Divil another song you sing than 'perd, 'and I'm not quite clear you're not cheating all the while--only, God helpyou if you are!"

As he so said, the head of a huge black-thorn stick was half protrudedacross the table, causing renewed mirth; for, among other regulations, every cane, however trifling, is always demanded at the door; and thus anew subject of astonishment arose as to how he had succeeded in carryingit with him into the salon. 

"Here's at you again, " said O'Leary, regardless of the laughter, andcovering three or four numbers with his jetons. 

Round went the ball once more, and once more he lost. 

"Look now, divil a lie in it, he makes them go wherever he pleases. I'lltake a turn now at the tables; fair play's a jewel--and we'll see howyou'll get on. "

So saying, he proceeded to insinuate himself into the chair of thecroupier, whom he proposed to supersede by no very gentle means. Thiswas of course resisted, and as the loud mirth of the bystanders grew moreand more boisterous, the cries of "a la porte, a la porte, " from thefriends of the bank, rung through the crowd. 

"Go it, Pat--go it, Pat, " said Guy, over my shoulder, who seemed to takea prodigious interest in the proceedings. 

At this unexpected recognition of his nativity, for Mr. O'Leary neversuspected he could be discovered by his accent; he looked across thetable, and caught my eye at once. 

"Oh, I'm safe now! stand by me, Mr. Lorrequer, and we'll clear the room. "

So saying, and without any further provocation, he upset the croupier, chair and all, with one sudden jerk upon the floor, and giving atremendous kick to the casette, sent all the five-franc pieces flyingover him; he then jumped upon the table, and brandishing his black-thornthrough the ormolu lustre, scattered the wax-lights on all sides, accompanying the exploit by a yell that would have called up allConnemara at midnight, if it had only been heard there; in an instant, the gens d'armes, always sufficiently near to be called in if required, came pouring into the room, and supposing the whole affair had been apreconcerted thing to obtain possession of the money in the bank, commenced capturing different members of the company who appeared, byenjoying the confusion, to be favouring and assisting it. My cousin Guywas one of the first so treated--a proceeding to which he responded by anappeal rather in favour with most Englishmen, and at once knocked downthe gen d'arme; this was the signal for a general engagement, andaccordingly, before an explanation could possibly be attempted, a mostterrific combat ensued. The Frenchmen in the room siding with the gend'armerie, and making common cause against the English; who, althoughgreatly inferior in number, possessed considerable advantage, from longhabit in street-rows and boxing encounters. As for myself, I had thegood fortune to be pitted against a very pursy and unwieldy Frenchman, who sacre'd to admiration, but never put in a single blow at me; while, therefore, I amused myself practising what old Cribb called "the one, two, " upon his fat carcase, I had abundant time and opportunity to watchall that was doing about me, and truly a more ludicrous affair I neverbeheld. Imagine about fifteen or sixteen young Englishmen, most of thempowerful, athletic fellows, driving an indiscriminate mob of about fivetimes their number before them, who, with courage enough to resist, wereyet so totally ignorant of the boxing art, that they retreated, pell-mell, before the battering phalanx of their sturdy opponents--themost ludicrous figure of all being Mr. O'Leary himself, who, standingupon the table, laid about him with a brass lustre that he had unstrung, and did considerable mischief with this novel instrument of warfare, crying out the entire time, "murder every mother's son of them, " "givethem another taste of Waterloo. " Just as he had uttered the lastpatriotic sentiment, he received a slight admonition from behind, by thepoint of a gen d'arme's sword, which made him leap from the table withthe alacrity of a harlequin, and come plump down among the thickest ofthe fray. My attention was now directed elsewhere, for above all thedin and "tapage" of the encounter I could plainly hear the row-dow-dowof the drums, and the measured tread of troops approaching, and at onceguessed that a reinforcement of the gen d'armerie were coming up. Behind me there was a large window, with a heavy scarlet curtain beforeit; my resolution was at once taken, I floored my antagonist, whom I hadtill now treated with the most merciful forbearance, and immediatelysprung behind the curtain. A second's consideration showed that in thesearch that must ensue this would afford no refuge, so I at once openedthe sash, and endeavoured to ascertain at what height I was above theground beneath me; the night was so dark that I could see nothing, butjudging from the leaves and twigs that reached to the window, that itwas a garden beneath, and auguring from the perfumed smell of theshrubs, that they could not be tall trees, I resolved to leap, a resolveI had little time to come to, for the step of the soldiers was alreadyheard upon the stair. Fixing my hat then down upon my brows, andbuttoning my coat tightly, I let myself down from the window-stool by myhands, and fell upon my legs in the soft earth of the garden, safe andunhurt. From the increased clamour and din overhead, I could learn theaffray was at its height, and had little difficulty in detecting thesonorous accent and wild threats of my friend Mr. O'Leary, high aboveall the other sounds around him. I did not wait long, however, to enjoythem; but at once set about securing my escape from my present bondage. In this I had little difficulty, for I was directed by a light to asmall door, which, as I approached, found that it led into the den ofthe Concierge, and also communicated by another door with the street. Iopened it, therefore, at once, and was in the act of opening the second, when I felt myself seized by the collar by a strong hand; and on turninground saw the sturdy figure of the Concierge himself, with a drawnbayonet within a few inches of my throat, "Tenez, mon ami, " said Iquietly, and placing half a dozen louis, some of my recent spoils, inhis hand, at once satisfied him that, even if I were a robber, I was atleast one that understood and respected the conveniences of society. Heat once relinquished his hold and dropped his weapon, and pulling offhis cap with one hand, to draw the cord which opened the Porte Cocherewith the other, bowed me politely to the street. I had scarcely hadtime to insinuate myself into the dense mass of people whom the noiseand confusion within had assembled around the house, when the doubledoor of the building opened, and a file of gens d'armerie came forth, leading between them my friend Mr. O'Leary and some others of therioters--among whom I rejoiced to find my cousin did not figure. If Iwere to judge from his disordered habiliments and scarred visage, Mr. O'Leary's resistance to the constituted authorities must have been avigorous one, and the drollery of his appearance was certainly notdecreased by his having lost the entire brim of his hat--the covering ofhis head bearing, under these distressing circumstances, a strongresemblance to a saucepan. 

As I could not at that moment contribute in any way to his rescue, Idetermined on the following day to be present at his examination, andrender him all the assistance in my power. Meanwhile, I returned toMeurice, thinking of every adventure of the evening much more than of myown changed condition and altered fortunes. 

CHAPTER XXVIII. 

PARIS. 

The first thing which met my eye, when waking in the morning, after theaffair at the salon, was the rouleau of billets de banque which I had wonat play; and it took several minutes before I could persuade myself thatthe entire recollection of the evening had any more solid foundation thana heated brain and fevered imagination. The sudden spring, from being asubaltern in the __th, with a few hundreds per annum--"pour tout potage, "to becoming the veritable proprietor of several thousands, with ahandsome house in Cumberland, was a consideration which I could scarcelyadmit into my mind--so fearful was I, that the very first occurrence ofthe day should dispel the illusion, and throw me back into the dullreality which I was hoping to escape from. 

There is no adage more true than the old Latin one--"that what we wish, we readily believe;" so, I had little difficulty in convincing myselfthat all was as I desired--although, certainly, my confused memory of thepast evening contributed little to that conviction. It was, then, amid avery whirl of anticipated pleasures, and new schemes for enjoying life, that I sat down to a breakfast, at which, that I might lose no time incommencing my race, I had ordered the most recherche viands which evenFrench cookery can accomplish for the occasion. 

My plans were soon decided upon. I resolved to remain only long enoughin Paris to provide myself with a comfortable travelling carriage--securea good courier--and start for Baden; when I trusted that my pretensions, whatever favour they might have been once received with, would certainlynow, at least, be listened to with more prospect of being successful. 

I opened the Galignani's paper of the day, to direct me in my search, andhad scarcely read a few lines before a paragraph caught my eye, which nota little amused me; it was headed--Serious riot at the Salon desEtrangers, and attempt to rob the Bank:--

"Last evening, among the persons who presented themselves at the table ofthis fashionable resort, were certain individuals, who, by their namesand dress bespoke any thing rather than the rank and condition of thosewho usually resort there, and whose admission is still unexplained, notwithstanding the efforts of the police to unravel the mystery. Theproprietors of the bank did not fail to remark these persons; butscrupled, from fear of disturbing the propriety of the salon, to take thenecessary steps for their exclusion--reserving their attention to theadoption of precautions against such intrusion in future--unfortunately, as it turned out eventually, for, towards eleven o'clock, one of theseindividuals, having lost a considerable sum at play, proceeded in a veryviolent and outrageous manner to denounce the bank, and went so far as toaccuse the croupier of cheating. This language having failed to excitethe disturbance it was evidently intended to promote, was soon followedup by a most dreadful personal attack upon the banquier, in which he wasthrown from his seat, and the cassette, containing several thousandfrancs in gold and notes, immediately laid hold of. The confusion nowbecame considerable, and it was apparent, that the whole had been apre-concerted scheme. Several persons, leaping upon the table, attempted to extinguish the great lustre of the salon, in which boldattempt, they were most spiritedly resisted by some of the other playersand the gens-d'arme, who had by this time arrived in force. The riotwas quelled after a prolonged and desperate resistance, and the rioters, with the exception of two, were captured, and conveyed to prison, wherethey await the result of a judicial investigation--of which we shall notfail to lay the particulars before our readers. 

"Since our going to press, we have learned that one of the ringleaders inthis vile scheme is a noted English escroc--a swindler, who was alreadyarrest at C____ for travelling with a false passport; but who contrives, by some collusion with another of the gang, to evade the localauthorities. If this be the case, we trust he will speedily be detectedand brought to punishment. "

Whatever amusement I had found in reading the commencing portion of thisridiculous misstatement, the allusion in the latter part by no meansafforded me equal pleasure; and I saw, in one rapid glance, how muchannoyance, and how many delays and impediments--a charge even of thisridiculous nature, might give rise to in my present circumstances. Mypassport, however, will settle all--thought I--as I thrust my handtowards my pocket, in which I had placed it along with some letters. 

Guess my misery, to discover that the whole of the pocket had been cutaway, probably in the hope of obtaining the billets de banque I had wonat play, but which I had changed from that pocket to a breast one onleaving the table. This at once led me to suspect that there might besome truth in the suspicion of the newspaper writer of a pre-concertedscheme, and at once explained to me what had much puzzled me before--theextreme rapidity with which the elements of discord were propagated, forthe whole affair was the work of a few seconds. While I continued tomeditate on these matters, the waiter entered with a small note in anenvelope, which a commissionaire had just left at the hotel for me, andwent away, saying there was no answer. I opened it hastily, and read:--

 "Dear H. --The confounded affair of last night has induced me to leave this for a few days; besides that I have obtained a most excellent reason for absenting myself in the presence of a black eye, which will prevent my appearance in public for a week to come. As you are a stranger here, you need not fear being detected. With all its desagremens, I can't help laughing at the adventure, and I am heartily glad to have had the opportunity of displaying old Jackson's science upon those wretched gens-d'arme. 

 "Your, truly, "G. L. "

This, certainly, thought I, improves my position. Here is my cousin Guy--the only one to whom, in any doubt or difficulty here, I could refer--here he is--flown, without letting me know where to address him or findhim out. I rung my bell hastily, and having written a line on my card, requesting Lord Kilkee to come to me as soon as he could, despatched itto the Rue de la Paix. The messenger soon returned with an answer, that Lord Kilkee had been obliged to leave Paris late the evening before, having received some important letters from Baden. My anxiety now becamegreater. I did not know but that the moment I ventured to leave thehotel I should be recognised by some of the witnesses of the evening'sfray; and all thoughts of succouring poor O'Leary were completelyforgotten in my fear for the annoyances the whole of this ridiculousaffair might involve me in. Without any decision as to my future steps, I dressed myself, and proceeded to pay my respects to Mrs. Bingham andher daughter, who were in the same hotel, and whom I had not seen sinceour arrival. 

As I entered the drawing-room, I was surprised to find Miss Binghamalone. She appeared to have been weeping--at least the efforts she madeto appear easy and in good spirits contrasted a good deal with theexpression of her features as I came in. To my inquiries for Mrs. Bingham, I received for answer that the friends Mrs. Bingham had expectedhaving left a few days before for Baden, she had resolved on followingthem, and had now merely driven out to make a few purchases before herdeparture, which was to take place in the morning. 

There is something so sad in the thought of being deserted and left byone's friends under any circumstances, that I cannot express how muchthis intelligence affected me. It seemed, too, like the last stroke ofbad news filling up the full measure, that I was to be suddenly deprivedof the society of the very few friends about me, just as I stood most inneed of them. 

Whether or not Miss Bingham noticed my embarrassment, I cannot say;but certainly she seemed not displeased, and there was in thehalf-encouraging tone of her manner something which led me to suspectthat she was not dissatisfied with the impression her news seemed toproduce upon me. 

Without at all alluding to my own improved fortune, or to the eventsof the preceding night, I began to talk over the coming journey, andexpressed my sincere regret that, having lost my passport undercircumstances which might create some delay in retrieving it, I couldnot join their party as I should otherwise have done. 

Miss Bingham heard this speech with rather more emotion than so simple adeclaration was calculated to produce; and, while she threw down her eyesbeneath their long dark lashes, and coloured slightly, asked--

"And did you really wish to come with us?"

"Undoubtedly, " said I. 

"And is there no other objection than the passport?"

"None whatever, " said I, warming as I spoke, for the interest sheappeared to take in me completely upset all my calculations, besides thatI had never seen her looking so handsome, and that, as the French wiselyremark, "vaut toujours quelque chose. "

"Oh, then, pray come with us, which you can do, for mamma has just gother passport for her nephew along with her own; and as we really don'twant him, nor he us, we shall both be better pleased to be free of eachother, and you can easily afterwards have your own forwarded to Baden bypost. "

"Ah, but, " said I, "how shall I be certain, if I take so flattering anoffer, that you will forgive me for filling up the place of the dearcousin; for, if I conjecture aright, it is 'Le Cher Edouard' thatpurposes to be your companion. "

"Yes, you have guessed quite correctly; but you must not tax me withinconsistency, but really I have grown quite tired of my poor cousin, since I saw him last night. "

"And you used to admire him prodigiously. "

"Well, well, that is all true, but I do so no longer. "

"Eh! perche, " said I, looking cunningly in her eye. 

"For reasons that Mr. Lorrequer shall never know if he has to ask them, "said the poor girl, covering her eyes with her hands, and sobbingbitterly. 

What I thought, said, or did upon this occasion, with all my most sinceredesire to make a "clean breast of it in these confessions, " I know not;but this I do know, that two hours after, I found myself still sittingupon the sofa beside Miss Bingham, whom I had been calling Emily all thewhile, and talking more of personal matters and my own circumstances thanis ever safe or prudent for a young man to do with any lady under the ageof his mother. 

All that I can now remember of this interview, is the fact of havingarranged my departure in the manner proposed by Miss Bingham--aproposition to which I acceded with an affectation of satisfaction thatI fear went very far to deceive my fair friend. Not that the pleasureI felt in the prospect was altogether feigned; but certainly the habitof being led away by the whim and temper of the moment had so much becomepart of my nature, that I had long since despaired of ever guardingmyself against the propensity I had acquired, of following every leadwhich any one might throw out for me. And thus, as poor Harry Lorrequerwas ever the first man to get into a row at the suggestion of a friend, so he only waited the least possible pressing on any occasion, to involvehimself in any scrape or misfortune that presented itself, provided therewas only some one good enough to advise him to do so. 

As I entered my own room, to make preparations for my departure, I couldnot help thinking over all the events thus crowded into the space of afew hours. My sudden possession of wealth--my prospects at Callonbystill undecided--my scrape at the Salon--my late interview with MissBingham, in which I had only stopped short of a proposal to marry, werealmost sufficient to occupy any reasonable mind; and so I was beginningto suspect, when the waiter informed me that the Commissaire of Policewas in waiting below, and wished to speak to me. Affecting some surpriseat the request which I at once perceived the object of, I desired him tobe introduced. I was quite correct in my guess. The information of mybeing concerned in the affair at the Salon had been communicated to theauthorities, and the Commissaire had orders to obtain bail for myappearance at the Tribunal de Justice, on that day week, or commit me atonce to prison. The Commissaire politely gave me till evening to procurethe required bail, satisfying himself that he could adopt measures toprevent my escape, and took his leave. He had scarcely gone when Mr. Edward Bingham was announced--the reason for this visit I could not soeasily divine; but I had little time allowed for my conjectures, as thesame instant a very smart, dapper little gentleman presented himself, dressed in all the extravagance of French mode. His hair, which waspermitted to curl upon his shoulders, was divided along the middle of thehead; his moustaches were slightly upturned and carefully waxed, and hissmall chin-tuft or Henri-quatre most gracefully pointed; he wore threemost happily contrasting coloured waistcoats, and spurs of glitteringbrass. His visit was of scarcely five minutes' duration; but wasevidently the opening of a breaching battery by the Bingham familyin all form--the object of which I could at least guess at. 

My embarrassments were not destined to end here; for scarcely had Ireturned Mr. Bingham's eighth salutation at the head of the staircase, when another individual presented himself before me. This figure was inevery respect the opposite of my last visitor. Although framed perfectlyupon the late Parisian school of dandyism, his, however, was the "ecolemilitaire. " Le Capitaine Eugene de Joncourt, for so he introducedhimself, was a portly personage, of about five-and-thirty or forty yearsof age, with that mixture of bon hommie and ferocity in his featureswhich the soldiers of Napoleon's army either affected or possessednaturally. His features, which were handsome, and the expression ofwhich was pleasing, were, as it seemed, perverted, by the warlike turn ofa most terrific pair of whiskers and moustaches, from their naturallygood-humoured bent; and the practised frown and quick turn of his darkeye were evidently only the acquired advantages of his military career;a handsome mouth, with singularly regular and good teeth, took much awayfrom the farouche look of the upper part of his face; and contributed, with the aid of a most pleasing voice, to impress you in his favour; hisdress was a blue braided frock, decorated with the cordon of the legion;but neither these, nor the clink of his long cavalry spurs, werenecessary to convince you that the man was a soldier; besides that, therewas that mixture of urbanity and aplomb in his manner which showed him tobe perfectly accustomed to the usages of the best society. 

"May I beg to know, " said he, as he seated himself slowly, "if this cardcontains your name and address, " handing me at the same moment one of myvisiting cards. I immediately replied in the affirmative. 

"You are then in the English service?"

"Yes. "

"Then, may I entreat your pardon for the trouble of these questions, andexplain the reason of my visit. I am the friend of Le Baron D'Haulpenne, with whom you had the altercation last night in the Salon, and in whosename I have come to request the address of a friend on your part. "

Ho, ho, thought I, the Baron is then the stout gentleman that I pummelledso unmercifully near the window; but how came he by my card; and besides, in a row of that kind, I am not aware how far the matter can be conceivedto go farther, than what happens at the moment. These were the thoughtsof a second of time, and before I could reply any thing, the captainresumed. 

"You seem to have forgotten the circumstance, and so indeed should I liketo do; but unfortunately D'Haulpenne says that you struck him with yourwalking-cane, so you know, under such a state of things, there is but onecourse. "

"But gently, " added I, "I had no cane whatever the last evening. "

"Oh! I beg pardon, " interrupted he; "but my friend is most positive inhis account, and describes the altercation as having continued from theSalon to the street, when you struck him, and at the same time threw himyour card. Two of our officers were also present; and although, as itappears from your present forgetfulness, that the thing took place in theheat and excitement of the moment, still--"

"But still, " said I, catching up his last words, "I never did strike thegentleman as you describe--never had any altercation in the street--and--"

"Is that your address?" said the Frenchman, with a slight bow. 

"Yes, certainly it is. "

"Why then, " said he, with a slight curl of his upper lip--half smile, half derision--

"Oh! make yourself perfectly easy, " I replied. "If any one has by anaccident made use of my name, it shall not suffer by such a mistake. I shall be quite at your service, the moment I can find out a friend torefer you to. "

I had much difficulty to utter these few words with a suitable degree oftemper, so stung was I by the insolent demeanour of the Frenchman, whosecoolness and urbanity seemed only to increase every moment. 

"Then I have the honour to salute you, " said he, rising with greatmildness in his voice; "and shall take the liberty to leave my card forthe information of your friend. "

So saying, he placed his card upon the table--"Le Capitaine Eugene deJoncourt, Cuirassiers de la Garde. "

"I need not press upon Monsieur the value of despatch. "

"I shall not lose a moment, " said I, as he clattered down the stairs ofthe hotel, with that perfect swaggering nonchalance which a Frenchman isalways an adept in; and I returned to my room, to meditate upon mynumerous embarrassments, and think over the difficulties which everymoment was contributing to increase the number of. 

"The indictment has certainly many counts, " thought I. 

Imprimis--A half-implied, but fully comprehended promise to marry a younglady, with whom, I confess, I only intend to journey this life--as far asBaden. 

Secondly, a charge of swindling--for such the imputation goes to--at theSalon. 

Thirdly, another unaccountable delay in joining the Callonbys, with whomI am every hour in the risque of being "compromis;" and lastly, a duel inperspective with some confounded Frenchman, who is at this very momentpractising at a pistol gallery. 

Such were the heads of my reflections, and such the agreeable impressionsmy visit to Paris was destined to open with; how they were to be followedup I reserve for another chapter. 

EBOOK EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

A crowd is a mob, if composed even of bishopsInvoluntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my pathLevelling character of a taste for playNever able to restrain myself from a propensity to make loveStrong opinions against tobacco within doorsWe pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic warfareWhat we wish, we readily believeWhenever he was sober his poverty disgusted him