[Illustration]

SUSAN CLEGG

AND

Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop

BY

ANNE WARNER

Author of "A Woman's Will, " etc. 

BOSTONLittle, Brown, and Company

1904

_Copyright, 1903, 1904_, BY THE CENTURY COMPANY. 

_Copyright, 1904_, BY LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY. 

THE UNIVERSITY PRESSCAMBRIDGE, U. S. A. 

_PREFATORY NOTE_

_The first four chapters of "Susan Clegg and her Friend Mrs. Lathrop"appeared in "The Century Magazine" as separate stories during thepast year. They have been revised and partly rewritten for bookpublication, and "The Minister's Vacation, " never before printed, has been added. _

_Miss Clegg and her friend Mrs. Lathrop, as well as the othercharacters in the book, and the scenes in which they figure, arewholly imaginary_. 

Contents

 PageIThe Marrying of Susan Clegg 1

IIMiss Clegg's Adopted 43

IIIJathrop Lathrop's Cow 83

IVSusan Clegg's Cousin Marion 126

VThe Minister's Vacation 166

SUSAN CLEGG

_And her Friend Mrs. Lathrop_

I

THE MARRYING OF SUSAN CLEGG

Susan Clegg and Mrs. Lathrop were next-door neighbors and bosomfriends. Their personalities were extremely congenial, and thetheoretical relation which the younger woman bore to the elder was afurther bond between them. Owing to the death of her mother sometwenty years before, Susan had fallen into the position of a helplessand timid young girl whose only key to the problems of life in generalhad been the advice of her older and wiser neighbor. As a matter offact Mrs. Lathrop was barely twelve years the senior, but she hadmarried and as a consequence felt and was felt to be immeasurably themore ancient of the two. 

Susan had never married, for her father--a bedridden paralytic--hadoccupied her time day and night for years. He was a great care and asshe did her duty by him with a thoroughness which was praiseworthy inthe extreme she naturally had very little leisure for society. Mrs. Lathrop had more, because her family consisted of but one son, and shewas not given to that species of housekeeping which sweeps under thebeds too often. It therefore came about that the one and onlyrecreation which the friends could enjoy together to any great extentwas visiting over the fence. Visiting over the fence is an occupationin which any woman may indulge without fear of unkind criticism. Ifshe takes occasion to run in next door, she is of course leaving thehouse which she ought to be keeping, but she can lean on the fence allday without feeling derelict as to a single duty. Then, too, there issomething about the situation which produces a species of agreeablesubconsciousness that one is at once at home and abroad. It followedthat Susan and Mrs. Lathrop each wore a path from her kitchen door tothe trysting-spot, and that all summer long they met there early andlate. 

Mrs. Lathrop did the listening while she chewed clover. Just beyondher woodpile red clover grew luxuriantly, and when she started for theplace of meeting it was her invariable custom to stop and pull anumber of blossoms so that she might eat the tender petals whiledevoting her attention to the business in hand. 

It must be confessed that the business in hand was nearly always MissClegg's business, but since Mrs. Lathrop, in her position ofexperienced adviser, was deeply interested in Susan's exposition ofher own affairs, that trifling circumstance appeared of little moment. 

One of the main topics of conversation was Mr. Clegg. As Mr. Clegg hadnot quitted his bed for over a score of years, it might seem that hisnovelty as a subject of discussion would have been long sinceexhausted. But not so. His daughter was the most devoted of daughters, and his name was ever rife on her lips. What he required done for himand what he required done to him were the main ends of her existence, and the demands of his comfort, daily or annual, resulted in numerousphrases of a startling but thoroughly intelligible order. Of such asort was her usual Saturday morning greeting to Mrs. Lathrop, "I 'msorry to cut you off so quick, but this 's father's day to be beat upand got into new pillow-slips, " or her regular early-June remark, "Well, I thank Heaven 't father 's had his hair picked over 'n' 'the's got his new tick for _this_ year!"

Mrs. Lathrop was always interested, always sympathetic, and rarelyever startled; yet one July evening when Susan said suddenly, "I 'vefinished my dress for father's funeral, " she did betray a slightshock. 

"You ought to see it, " the younger woman continued, not noticing theother's start, --"it's jus' 's _nice_. I put it away in camphor balls, 'n' Lord knows I don't look forward to the gettin' it out to wear, f'rthe whole carriage load 'll sneeze their heads off whenever I move inthat dress. "

"Did you put newspaper--" Mrs. Lathrop began, mastering her earlieremotions. 

"In the sleeves? Yes, I did, 'n' I bought a pair o' black gloves 'n'two handkerchiefs 'n' slipped 'em into the pockets. Everythin' is allfixed, 'n' there 'll be nothin' to do when father dies but to shake itout 'n' lay it on the bed in his room. I say 'in his room, ' 'cause o'course that day he 'll be havin' the guest-room. I was thinkin' of itall this afternoon when I sat there by him hemmin' the braid on theskirt, 'n' I could n't but think 't if I sit 'n' wait very much longerI sh'll suddenly find myself pretty far advanced in years afore I knowit. This world's made f'r the young 's well's the old, 'n' you c'nbelieve me or not jus' 's you please, Mrs. Lathrop, but I 've alwaysmeant to get married 's soon 's father was off my hands. I wascountin' up to-day, though, 'n' if he lives to be a hunderd, I 'll benigh onto seventy 'n' no man ain't goin' to marry me at seventy. Not'nless he was eighty, 'n' Lord knows I ain't intendin' to bury fatherjus' to begin on some one else, 'n' that's all it 'd be. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

"I set there thinkin' f'r a good hour, 'n' when I was puttin' away thedress, I kep' on thinkin', 'n' the end was 't now that dress 's done Iain't got nothin' in especial to sew on 'n' so I may jus' 's wellbegin on my weddin' things. There's no time like the present, 'n' 'f Imarried this summer _he 'd_ have to pay f'r half of next winter'scoal. 'N' so my mind's made up, 'n' you c'n talk yourself blind, 'fyou feel so inclined, Mrs. Lathrop, but you can't change hide or hairo' my way o' thinkin'. I 've made up my mind to get married, 'n' I 'mgoin' to set right about it. Where there's a will there 's a way, 'n'I ain't goin' to leave a stone unturned. I went down town with thekerosene-can jus' afore tea, 'n' I bought me a new false front, 'n' Imet Mrs. Brown's son, 'n' I told him 't I wanted him to come upto-morrow 'n' take a look at father. "

"Was you thinkin' o' marryin' Mrs. Br----" Mrs. Lathrop gasped, takingher clover from her lips. 

"Marryin' Mrs. Brown's son! Well, 'f your mind don't run queer ways!Whatever sh'd put such an idea into your head? I hope you 'll excusemy sayin' so, Mrs. Lathrop, but I don't believe anybody but you wouldever 'a' asked such a question, when you know 's well 's everybodyelse does 't he's runnin' his legs off after Amelia Fitch. Any man whowants a little chit o' eighteen wouldn't suit my taste much, 'n'anyhow I never thought of him; I only asked him to come in in afriendly way 'n' tell me how long he thinks 't father may live. Idon't see my way to makin' any sort o' plans with father so dreffleindefinite, 'n' a man who was fool enough to marry me, tied up like Iam now, would n't have s'fficient brains to be worth lookin' over. Mrs. Brown's son 's learnin' docterin', 'n' he's been at it longenough so 's to be able to see through anythin' 's simple 's father, _I_ sh'd think. 'T any rate, 'f he don't know nothin' yet, Heaven helpAmelia Fitch 'n' me, f'r he'll take us both in. "

"Who was you thinkin' o'--" Mrs. Lathrop asked, resuming her formeroccupation. 

"The minister, " replied Miss Clegg. "I did n't stop to consider verymuch, but it struck me 's polite to begin with him. I c'd marry himwithout waitin' for father, too, 'cause a minister could n't in reasonfind fault over another man's bein' always to home. O' course he wouldn't be still like father is, but I ain't never been one to lookgift-horses in the mouth, 'n' I d'n' know 's I 'd ought to expectanother man _jus'_ like father in one life. Mother often said father'sadvantages was great, for you always knew where he was, 'n' 'f youdrew down the shade you c'd tell him it was rainin' 'n' he could n'tnever contradick. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded acquiescently but made no comment. 

Miss Clegg withdrew somewhat from her confidentially inclinedattitude. 

"I won't be out in the mornin', " she said. "I sh'll want to dustfather 'n' turn him out o' the window afore Mrs. Brown's son comes. After he's gone I'll wave my dish-towel, 'n' then you come out 'n' I'll tell you what he says. "

They separated for the night, and Susan went to sleep with her ownversion of love's young dream. 

Mrs. Brown's son arrived quite promptly the next morning. He drove upin Mr. Brown's buggy, and Amelia Fitch held the horse while he wentinside to inspect Mr. Clegg. The visit did not consume more than tenminutes, and then he hurried out to the gate and was off. 

The buggy was hardly out of sight up the road when Miss Clegg emergedfrom her kitchen door, her face bearing an imprint of deep andthorough disgust. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I don't think much o' _that_ young man, " sheannounced in a tone of unmitigated disapproval; "'peared to me like hewas in a hurry to get done with father 's quick 's he could just so 'sto be back beside Amelia Fitch. I 'd venture a guess that 'f you wasto ask him this minute he 's forgot every word I said to him already. I asked him to set some sort of a figger on father, 'n' he would n'tso much 's set down himself. Stood on one leg 'n' backed towards thedoor every other word, 'n' me, father's only child, standin' there athis mercy. Said 't last 's he _might_ die to-morrow 'n' _might_ livetwenty years. I tell you my patience pretty near went at that. I don'tcall such a answer no answer a _tall_. I 've often thought both themthings myself, 'n' me no doctor. Particularly about the twenty years. Father's lived seventy-five years--I must say 't to my order o'thinkin' he's pretty well set a-goin', 'n' that the life he leadsain't drainin' his vitality near 's much 's it's drainin' mine. "

Miss Clegg stopped and shook her head impatiently. 

"I d'n' know when I 've felt as put out 's this. 'N' me with so muchfaith in doctors too. It's a pretty sad thing, Mrs. Lathrop, when allthe comfort you c'n get out of a man is the thinkin' 't perhaps God inhis mercy has made him a fool. I had a good mind to tell that verything to Mrs. Brown's son, but I thought maybe he'd learn betterlater. Anyway I 'm goin' right ahead with my marriage. It'll have tobe the minister now, 'n' I can't see what I 've ever done 't I sh'dhave two men around the house 't once like they 'll be, but that's allin the hands o' Fate, 'n' so I jus' took the first step 'n' told Billywhen he brought the milk to tell his father 't if he 'd come up hereto-night I 'd give him a quarter for the Mission fund. I know thequarter 'll bring him, 'n' I can't help kind o' hopin' 't to-morrow'll find the whole thing settled 'n' off my mind. "

The next morning Mrs. Lathrop laid in an unusually large supply offodder and was very early at the fence. Her son--a placid littleinnocent of nine-and-twenty years--was still in bed and asleep. Susanwas up and washing her breakfast dishes, but the instant that shespied her friend she abruptly abandoned her task and hastened to therendezvous. 

"Are you goin' t'--" Mrs. Lathrop called eagerly. 

"No, I ain't, " was the incisive reply. 

Then they both adjusted their elbows comfortably on the top rail ofthe fence, and Miss Clegg began, her voice a trifle higher pitchedthan usual. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, it's a awful thing for a Christian woman to feel forcedto say, 'n' Lord knows I would n't say it to no one but you, but it'strue 'n' beyond a question so, 'n' therefore I may 's well be frank'n' open 'n' remark 't our minister ain't no good a _tall_. --'N I d'n'know but I'll tell any one 's asks me the same thing, f'r it certainlyain't nothin' f'r me to weep over, 'n' the blood be on his head fromnow on. "

Miss Clegg paused briefly, and her eyes became particularly wide open. Mrs. Lathrop was all attention. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, you ain't lived next to me 'n' known me in 'n' out 'n'hind 'n' front all these years not to know 't I 'm pretty sharp. Iain't been cheated mor' 'n twice 'n my life, 'n' one o' them times wasn't my fault, for it was printed on the band 't it would wash. Suchbein' the case, 'n' takin' the minister into consideration, I doconsider 't _no_ man would 'a' supposed 't he could get the better o'me. It's a sad thing to have to own to, 'n' if I was anybody else inkingdom come I 'd never own to it till I got there; but my way is tolive open 'n' aboveboard, 'n' so to my shame be 't told 't theminister--with all 't he's got eight children 'n' I ain't evenmarried--is certainly as sharp as me. Last night when I see him comin'up the walk I never 'd 'a' believed 's he c'd get away again so easy, but it just goes to show what a world o' deceit this is, 'n' seein' 'sI have father to clean from his windows aroun' to-day, I 'll ask youto excuse me 'f I don't draw the subjeck out none, but jus' remarkflat 'n' plain 't there ain't no chance o' my _ever_ marryin' theminister. You may consider that a pretty strong statement, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I don't say myself but 't with any other man there mightbe a hereafter, but it was me 'n' not anybody else as see his facelast night, 'n' seein' his face 'n' bein' a woman o' more brains 'nfalls to the lot of yourself 'n' the majority, I may just as well sayonce for all that, 's far 's the minister's concerned, I sh'll neverbe married to _him_. "

"What did he--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"All 't was necessary 'n' more too. He did n't give me hardly time tostate 't I was single afore he come out strong 't we 'd both betterstay so. I spoke right out to his face then, 'n' told him 't myshingles was new last year 'n' it was a open question whether his 'dever be, but he piped up f'r all the world like some o' the talkin'was his to do, 'n' said 't he had a cistern 'n' I 'd only got a sunkhogshead under the spout. I did n't see no way to denyin' _that_, butI went right on 'n' asked him 'f he could in his conscience deny 'tthem eight children stood in vital need of a good mother, 'n' he spokeup 's quick 's scat 'n' said 't no child stood in absolute vital needof a mother after it was born. 'N' then he branched out 'n' give me tounderstand 't he had a wife till them eight children all gotthemselves launched 'n' 't it was n't his fault her dyin' o' RachelRebecca. When he said 'dyin', ' I broke in 'n' said 't it wasBible-true 's there was 's good fish in the sea 's ever was caught outof it, 'n' he was impolite enough to interrupt 'n' tell me to my face'Yes, but when a man had been caught once he was n't easy caughtagain. ' I will own 't I was more 'n put out 't that, for o' coursewhen I said _fish_ I meant his wife 'n' me, but when he pretended tothink 't I meant him I begin to doubt 's it was worth while to tacklehim further. One man can lead a horse to water, but a thousand can'tget him to stick his nose in 'f he don't want to, 'n' I thank my stars't I ain't got nothin' 'n me as craves to marry a man 's appearsdead-set ag'in' the idea. I asked him 'f he did n't think 's comin'into property was always a agreeable feelin', 'n' he said, 'Yes, butnot when with riches come a secret thorn in the flesh, ' 'n' at that Iclean give up, 'n' I hope it was n't to my discredit, for no one onthe face of the earth could 'a' felt 't there 'd be any good inkeepin' on. But it was no use, 'n' you know 's well as I do 't I neverwas give to wastin' my breath, so I out 'n' told him 't I was n't giv'to wastin' my time either, 'n' then I stood up 'n' he did too. 'N'_then_ I got even with him, 'n' I c'n assure you 't I enjoyed it, f'rI out 'n' told him 't I 'd changed my mind about the quarter. So hehad all that long walk for nothin', 'n' I can't in conscience deny 'tI was more 'n rejoiced, for Lord knows I did n't consider 't he'dacted very obligin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop ceased to chew and looked deeply sympathetic. 

There was a brief silence, and then she asked, "Was you thinkin' o'tryin' any--"

Miss Clegg stared at her in amazement. 

"Mrs. Lathrop! Do you think I'd give up now, 'n' let the minister see't my marryin' depended on _his_ say-so? Well, I guess not! I'm moredead-set 'n' ever, 'n' I vow 'n' declare 't I'll never draw breathtill after I've stood up right in the face o' the minister 'n' thewhole congregation 'n' had 'n' held some man, no matter who nor whennor where. Marryin' was goin' to have been a pleasure, now it's abusiness. I'm goin' to get a horse 'n' buggy this afternoon 'n' driveout to Farmer Sperrit's. I've thought it all over, 'n' I c'n tellfather 't I'll be choppin' wood; then 'f he says afterwards 't hecalled 'n' called, I c'n say 't I was makin' so much noise 't I didn't hear him. "

"You'll have to hire--" suggested Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I know, but it won't cost but fifty cents, 'n' I saved a quarter onthe minister, you know. I'd like to ask you to drive out with me, Mrs. Lathrop, but if Mr. Sperrit's got it in him to talk like the ministerdid, I'm free to confess 't, I'd rather be alone to listen. 'N'really, Mrs. Lathrop, I must go in now. I've got bread a-risin' 'n'dishes to do, 'n', as I told you before, this is father's day to beall but scraped 'n' varnished. "

Mrs. Lathrop withdrew her support from the fence, and Miss Clegg didlikewise. Each returned up her own path to her own domicile, and itwas long after that day's tea-time before the cord of friendship gotknotted up again. 

"Did you go to the farm?" Mrs. Lathrop asked. "I was to the Sewin'So--"

"Yes, I went, " said Miss Clegg, her air decidedly weary; "oh, yes, Iwent. I had a nice ride too, 'n' I do believe I saw the whole farm, from the pigs to the punkins. "

There was a pause, and Mrs. Lathrop filled it to the brim withexpectancy until she could wait no longer. 

"Are you--" she finally asked. 

"No, " said her friend, sharply, "I ain't. He wasn't a bit spry to hopat the chance, 'n' Lord knows there wa'n't no great urgin' on my part. I asked him why he ain't never married, 'n' he laughed like it was afunny subjeck, 'n' said 's long 's he never did it 't that was theleast o' _his_ troubles. I didn't call that a very encouragin'beginnin', but my mind was made up not to let it be _my_ fault 'f thehorse was a dead waste o' fifty cents, 'n' so I said to him 't if he'dmarry any woman with a little money he could easy buy the little Jonesfarm right next him, 'n' then 't 'd be 's clear 's day that it 'd behis own fault if he didn't soon stretch right from the brook to theroad. He laughed some more 't that, 'n' said 't I didn't seem to beaware 't he owned a mortgage on the Jones farm 'n' got all 't itraised now 'n' would get the whole thing in less 'n two years. "

Mrs. Lathrop stopped chewing. 

"They was sayin' in the Sewin' Society 's he's goin' to marry ElizaGr--" she said mildly. 

Miss Clegg almost screamed. 

"Eliza Gringer, as keeps house for him?"

Her friend nodded. 

Miss Clegg drew in a sudden breath. 

"Well! 'f I'd knowed _that_, I'd never 'a' paid fifty cents for thathorse 'n' buggy! Eliza Gringer! why, she's older 'n' I am, --she was to'Cat' when I was only to 'M. ' 'N' he's goin' to marry her! Oh, well, Id'n' know 's it makes any difference to me. In my opinion a man as 'dbe fool enough to be willin' to marry a woman 's ain't got nothin' butherself to give him, 's likelier to be happier bein' her fool 'n heever would be bein' mine. "

There was a pause. 

"Your father's just the--" Mrs. Lathrop said at last. 

"Same? Oh yes, he's just the same. Seems 't I can't remember when hewasn't just the same. "

Then there was another pause. 

"I ain't discouraged, " Susan announced suddenly, almostaggressively, --"I ain't discouraged 'n' I won't give up. I'm goin' tosee Mr. Weskin, the lawyer, to-morrow. They say--'n' I never seenothin' to lead me to doubt 'em--'t he's stingy 'n' mean for all he'sforever makin' so merry at other folks' expense; but I believe 'tthere's good in everythin' 'f you're willin' to hunt for it 'n' Lordknows 't if this game keeps up much longer I 'll get so used tohuntin' 't huntin' the good in Lawyer Weskin 'll jus' be child's playto me. "

"I was thinkin'--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"It ain't no use if you are, " said her neighbor; "the mosquitoes isgettin' too thick. We 'd better in. "

And so they parted for the night. 

* * * * *

The following evening was hot and breathless, the approach of Fourthof July appearing to hang heavily over all. Susan brought a palm-leaffan with her to the fence and fanned vigorously. 

"It ain't goin' to be the lawyer, either, " she informed the expectantMrs. Lathrop, "'n' I hav' n't no tears to shed over _that_. I wentthere the first thing after dinner, 'n' he give me a solid chair 'n'whirled aroun' in one 't twisted, 'n' I did n't fancy such mannersunder such circumstances a _tall_. I'd say suthin' real serious 'n'he'd brace himself ag'in his desk 'n' take a spin 's if I did n'tcount for sixpence. I could n't seem to bring him around to theseriousness of the thing nohow. 'N' I come right out square 'n' openin the very beginnin' too, for Lord knows I 'm dead sick o' beatin'around the bush o' men's natural shyness. He whirled himself cleanaround two times 'n' then said 's long 's I was so frank with him 'tit 'd be nothin' but a joy for him to be equally frank with me 'n'jus' say 's he'd rather not. I told him he 'd ought to remember 's he'd have a lot o' business when father died 'f he kept my good will, but he was lookin' over 'n' under himself to see how near to unscrewedhe was 'n' if it was safe to keep on turnin' the same way any longer, 'n' upon my honor, Mrs. Lathrop, I was nigh to mad afore he got readyto remark 's father 'd left him a legacy on condition 't he did n'tcharge nothin' for probatin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

"So I come away, 'n' I declare my patience is nigh to gin out. Thisgettin' married is harder 'n' house-paintin' in fly-time. I d'n' knowwhen I 've felt so tired. Here's three nights 't I 've had to make myideas all over new to suit a different husband each night. It made myvery bones ache to think o' pilin' them eight children 'n' theminister on top o' father, 'n' then the next night it was a good jumpout to that farm, f'r I never was one to know any species o'fellow-feelin' with pigs 'n' milkin'. 'N' last night!--well, you knowI never liked Mr. Weskin anyhow. But I d'n' know who I _can_ get now. There's Mrs. Healy's husband, o' course; but when a woman lookshappier in her coffin 'n she ever looked out of it it's more'n a hintto them's stays behind to fight shy o' her husband. They say he usedto throw dishes at her, 'n' I never could stand that--I'm too carefulo' my china to risk any such goin's on. "

Mrs. Lathrop started to speak, but got no further. 

"There's a new clerk in the drug-store, --I see him through the windowwhen I was comin' home to-day. He looked to be a nice kind o' man, butI can't help feelin' 't it 'd be kind o' awkward to go up to him 'n'have to begin by askin' him what my name 'd be 'f I married him. Maybethere's them 's could do such a thing, but I 've never had nothin'about me 's 'd lead me to throw myself at the head o' any man, 'n'it's too late in the day f'r me to start in now. "

Mrs. Lathrop again attempted to get in a word and was againunsuccessful. 

"I don't believe 't there's another free man in the town. I've thought'n' thought 'n' I can't think o' one. " She stopped and sighed. 

"There's Jathrop!" said Mrs. Lathrop, with sudden and completesuccess. Jathrop was her son, so baptized through a fearful slip ofthe tongue at a critical moment. He was meant to have been John. 

Miss Clegg gave such a start that she dropped her fan over the fence. 

"Well, Heaven forgive me!" she cried, --"'n' me 't never thought of himonce, 'n' him so handy right on the other side of the fence! Did Iever!"

"He ain't thir--" said Mrs. Lathrop, picking up the fan. 

"I don't care. What's twelve years or so when it's the woman 's 'asgot the property? Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I certainly _am_ obliged to youfor mentionin' him, for I don't believe he ever would 'a' occurred tome in kingdom come. 'N' here I've been worryin' my head off ever sincesupper-time 'n' all for suthin' 's close 's Jathrop Lathrop. But I hadgood cause to worry, 'n' now 't it's over I don't mind mentionin' thereason 'n' tellin' you frank 'n' plain 't I'd begun on my things. Icut out a pink nightgown last night, a real fussy one, 'n' I felt sickall over 't the thought 't perhaps I'd wasted all that cloth. Therewasn't nothin' foolish about cuttin' out the nightgown, for I'd madeup my mind 't if it looked too awful fancy on 't I'd just put it awayfor the oldest girl when she gets married, but o' course 'f I can'tget a husband stands to reason there'll be no oldest girl, 'n' allthat ten cent gingham 't Shores is sellin' off't five 'd be a deadwaste o' good stuff. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

"Do you suppose there'll be any trouble with Jathrop? Do you supposeit'll matter any to him which side o' the fence he lives on?"

Mrs. Lathrop shook her head slowly. 

"I sh'd think he ought to be only too pleased to marry me 'f I wanthim to, all the days 't I tended him when he was a baby! My, but he_was_ a cute little fellow! Everybody was lookin' for him to grow up areal credit to you _then_. Well, 's far 's that goes, it's a ill wind't blows no good, 'n' no one c'n deny 't he's been easy for you tomanage, 'n' what's sauce f'r the goose is sauce f'r the gander, so Ish'll look to be equally lucky. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked proud and pleased. 

"Why can't you ask him to-night 'n' let me know the first thing in themornin'? That'll save me havin' to come 'way aroun' by the gate, youknow. "

Mrs. Lathrop assented to the obvious good sense of this propositionwith one emphatic nod of her head. 

"'N' I'll come out jus' 's quick 's I can in the mornin' 'n' hear whathe said; I'll come 's soon 's ever I can get father 'n' the disheswashed up. I hope to Heaven father'll sleep more this night 'n he didlast. He was awful restless last night. He kept callin' f'r thingstill finally I had to take a pillow and go down on the dinin'-roomlounge to keep from bein' woke up any more. "

"Do you think he's--"

"No, I don't think he's worse; not 'nless wakin' up 'n' askin' f'rthings jus' to be aggravatin' is worse. If it is, then he is too. But, lor, there ain't no manner o' use in talkin' o' father! A watched pot_never_ boils! Jathrop's more to the point right now. "

Upon this hint Mrs. Lathrop de-fenced herself, so to speak, and thefriendly chat ended for that time. 

The morning after, Miss Clegg was slow to appear at the summons of herneighbor. When she did approach the spot where the other stoodwaiting, her whole face and figure bore a weary and fretful air. 

"Father jus' about kept me up this whole blessed night, " she began assoon as she was within easy hearing. "I d'n' know what I want to getmarried f'r, when I'm bound to be man-free in twenty-five years 'f Ic'n jus' make out to live that long. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed and listened. 

"If there was anythin' in the house 't father didn't ask f'r 'n' 't Ididn't get him last night, it must 'a' been the cook-stove in thekitchen. I come nigh to losin' a toe in the rat-trap the third time Iwas down cellar, 'n' I clum that ladder to the garret so many times 'tI do believe I dusted all overhead with my hair afore mornin'. My earsis full o' cobwebs too, 'n' you know 's well 's I do 't I never wasone to fancy cobwebs about me. They say 't every cloud has a silverlinin', but I can't see no silver linin' to a night like last night. When the rooster crowed f'r the first time this mornin', I had it inmy heart to march right out there 'n' hack off his head. If it 'd 'a'been Saturday, I'd 'a' done 't too, 'n' relished him good at Sundaydinner!"

Miss Clegg paused and compressed her lips firmly for a few seconds;then she gave herself a little shake and descended to the mainquestion of the day. 

"Well, what did Jathrop say?"

Mrs. Lathrop looked very uncomfortable indeed, and in lieu of ananswer swallowed her clover. 

"You asked him, didn't you?"

"Yes, I--"

"Well, what 'd he say?"

"He ain't very--"

"My soul 'n' body! What reason did he give?"

"He's afraid your father's livin' on a annu--"

"Well, he ain't. " Susan's tone was more than a little displeased. "Whatever else father may 'a' done, he never played no annuity tricks. He 's livin' on his own property, 'n' I'll take it very kindly o' you, Mrs. Lathrop, to make that piece o' news clear to your son. Myfather's got bank-stock, 'n' he owns them two cottages across thebridge, 'n' the blacksmith-shop belongs to him too. There! I declare Inever thought o' the blacksmith, --his wife died last winter. "

"Jathrop asked me what I th--"

"Well, what 'd you tell him?"

"I said 't if your father was some older--"

Miss Clegg's eyebrows moved understandingly. 

"How long is it since you've seen father?" she asked without waitingfor the other to end her sentence. 

"Not since your mother died, I guess; I was--"

"I wish you c'd come over 'n' take a look at him now 'n' tell me youropinion. Why can't you?"

Mrs. Lathrop reflected. 

"I don't see why I can't. I'll go in 'n' take off--"

"All right, 'n' when you've got it off, come right over 'n' you'llfind me in the kitchen waitin' for you. "

Mrs. Lathrop returned to her own house to shed her apron and wash herhands, and then sallied over to view Mr. Clegg. The two friendsmounted the stair together, and entered the old man's room. 

It was a scrupulously clean and bright and orderly room, and theinvalid in the big white bed bore evidence to the care and attentionso dutifully lavished on him. He was a very wizened little old man, and his features had been crossed and recrossed by the finger of Timeuntil their original characteristics were nearly obliterated. Theexpression upon his face resembled nothing so much as a sketch whichhas been done over so many times that its first design is altogetherlost, and if there was any answer to the riddle, it was not the mentalperception of Mrs. Lathrop that was about to seize upon it. 

Instead, that kindly visitor stood lost in a species of helplesscontemplation, until at last a motion of Susan's, directed towards theordering of an unsightly fold in the wide smoothness of thecounterpane, led to her bending herself to do a similar kindness uponher side of the bed. The action resulted in a slight change in herexpression which Susan's watchfulness at once perceived. 

"Was it a needle?" she asked quickly. "Sometimes I stick 'em in whileI'm sewin'. You see, his havin' been paralyzed so many years has gotme where I'm awful careless about leavin' needles in his bed. "

"No, " said Mrs. Lathrop; "it wasn't a--"

"Come on downstairs again, " said the hostess; "we c'n talk there. "

They went down into the kitchen, and there Mrs. Lathrop seated herselfand coughed solemnly. 

"What is it, anyhow?" the younger woman demanded. 

Mrs. Lathrop coughed again. 

"Susan, did I feel a feather--"

"Yes, " said Susan, in great surprise; "he likes one. "

"I sh'd think it was too hot this--"

"He don't never complain o' the heat, 'n' he hates the chill o' rainydays. "

Mrs. Lathrop coughed again. 

Miss Clegg's interest bordered on impatience. 

"Now, Susan, I ain't sayin' as it's noways true, but I _have_ heard asthere's them 's can't die on--"

"On feathers?" cried the daughter. 

"Yes; they say they hold the life right in 'n'--"

Miss Clegg's eyes opened widely. 

"But I couldn't take it away from him, anyhow, " she said, with aspecies of determined resignation in her voice. "I'd have to wait'till he wanted it took. "

Mrs. Lathrop was silent. Then she rose to go. Susan rose too. Theywent out the kitchen door together, and down the steps. There theypaused to part. 

"Do you believe 't it 'd be any use me thinkin' o' Jathrop any more?"the maiden asked the matron. 

"I believe I'd try the blacksmith if I was you; he looks mighty niceSundays. "

Miss Clegg sighed heavily and turned to re-enter the house. 

Mrs. Lathrop went "round by the gate" and became again an inmate ofher own kitchen. There the thought occurred to her that it was anexcellent morning to clean the high-shelf over the sink. For yearspast whenever she had had occasion to put anything up there, showersof dust and rolls of lint had come tumbling down upon her head. Undersuch circumstances it was but natural that a determination to some dayclean the shelf should have slowly but surely been developed. Accordingly she climbed up on the edge of the sink and undertook theinitiatory proceedings. The lowest stratum of dirt was found to restupon a newspaper containing an account of one day of Guiteau's trial. Upon the discovery of the paper Mrs. Lathrop suddenly abandoned heroriginal plan, got down from the sink, ensconced herself in herkitchen rocker, and plunged into bliss forthwith. 

An hour passed pleasantly and placidly by. Bees buzzed outside thewindow, the kettle sizzled sweetly on the stove, the newspaper rustledless and less, Mrs. Lathrop's head sank sideways, and the calm ofperfect peace reigned in her immediate vicinity. 

This state of things endured not long. 

Its gentle Paradise was suddenly broken in upon and rent apart by asuccession of the most piercing shrieks that ever originated in thethroat of a human being. Mrs. Lathrop came to herself with a violentstart, sprang to her feet, ran to the door, and then stood still, completely dazed and at first unable to discern from which directionthe ear-splitting screams proceeded. Then, in a second, her sensesreturned to her, and she ran as fast as she could to the fence. As sheapproached the boundary, she saw Susan standing in one of her upstairswindows and yelling at the top of her voice. Mrs. Lathrop paused forno conventionalities of civilization. She hoisted herself over thefence in a fashion worthy a man or a monkey, ran across the Cleggyard, entered the kitchen door, stumbled breathlessly up the dark backstairs, and gasped, grabbing Susan hard by the elbow, --

"What _is_ it, for pity's--"

Susan was all colors and shaking as if with the ague. 

"You never told me 's it 'd work so quick, " she cried out. 

"What would--"

"The feathers!"

"Whose feathers?"

"Father's feathers. "

"Lord have mercy, Susan, you don't mean--"

"Yes, I do. "

"He ain't never--"

"Yes, he is. "

Mrs. Lathrop stood stricken. 

Susan wiped her eyes with her apron and choked. 

After a while the older woman spoke feebly. 

"What did hap--"

Miss Clegg cut the question off in its prime. 

"I don't know as I c'n ever tell you; it's too awful even to thinkof. "

"But you--"

"I know, 'n' I'm goin' to. But I tell you once for all, Mrs. Lathrop, 't this'll be a lesson to me forever after 's to takin' the say-so o'other folks unto myself. 'N' I didn't really consider 't I was doin'so this time, f'r if I had, Lord knows I'd 'a' landed three beds atopo' him afore I'd 'a' ever--" She stopped and shook convulsively. 

"Go on, " said Mrs. Lathrop, her curiosity getting the better of hersympathy, and her impatience ranking both. 

Susan ceased sobbing, and essayed explanation. 

"You see, after you was gone, he said 't he _was_ pretty hot theselast nights, 'n' 't that was maybe what kept him so awfully awake. Iasked him if--if--maybe the feather-bed 'n'--well, Mrs. Lathrop, toput the whole in a nut-shell, we settled to move him, 'n' I moved him. I know I didn't hurt him one bit, for I'm 's handy with--at least, I_was_'s handy with him 's I am with a broom. 'N' I laid him on thelounge, 'n' dumped that bed out into the back hall. I thought I 'd sunit 'n' put it away this afternoon, f'r _you_ know 's I'm never no handto leave nothin' lyin' aroun'. Well, I come back 'n' got out somefresh sheets, 'n' jus' 's I was--"

The speaker halted, and there was a dramatic pause. 

"Where is--" Mrs. Lathrop asked at last. 

"Back in the feathers. My heaven alive! When I see what I'd done, Iwas that upset 't I just run 's quick 's ever I could, 'n' got thebed, 'n' dumped it right atop of him!"

There was another dramatic silence, finally broken by Mrs. Lathrop'ssaying slowly and gravely, --

"Susan, 'f I was you I wouldn't never say--"

"I ain't goin' to. I made up my mind to never tell a livin' soul thevery first thing. To think o' me doin' it! To think o' all these years't I've tended father night 'n' day, 'n' then to accidentally go 'n'do a thing like that! I declare, it fairly makes me sick all over!"

"Well, Susan, you know what a good daughter you've--"

"I know, 'n' I 've been thinkin' of it. But somehow nothin' don't seemto comfort me none. Perhaps you'd better make me some tea, 'n' whileI'm drinkin' it, Jathrop c'n go down town 'n'--"

"Yes, " said Mrs. Lathrop, "'n' I'll go right 'n'--"

"That's right, " said the bereaved, "'n' hurry. "

It was a week later--a calm and lovely evening--and the two friendsstood by the fence. The orphan girl was talking, while Mrs. Lathropchewed her clover. 

"It don't seem like only a week!--seems more like a month or even ayear. Well, they say sometimes, folks live a long ways ahead in a veryshort time, 'n' I must say 't, as far 's my observation 's extended, comin' into property always leads to experience, so I couldn't inreason complain 't not bein' no exception. This 's been the liveliestweek o' my life, 'n' I'm free to confess 't I haven't cried anywherenear 's much 's I looked to. My feelin's have been pretty agreeable, take it all in all, 'n' I'd be a born fool 'f I didn't take solidcomfort sleepin' nights, 'n' I never was a fool--never was 'n' neverwill be. The havin' somebody to sleep in the house 's been hard, 'n'Mrs. Macy's fallin' through the cellar-flap giv' me a bad turn, butshe's doin' nicely, 'n' the minister makes up f'r anythin'. I do wish't you'd seen him that afternoon, Mrs. Lathrop; he did look _so_ mostawful sheepish, 'n' his clean collar give him dead away afore he everopened his mouth. He set out by sayin' 't the consolations of religionwas mine f'r the askin', but I didn't take the hint, 'n' so he had tojus' come out flat 'n' say 't he'd been thinkin' it over 'n' he'dchanged his mind. I held my head good 'n' high 't that, I c'n assureyou, 'n' it was a pretty sorry look he give me when I said 't I'd beenthinkin' it over too, 'n' I'd changed my mind too. He could 'a' talkedto me till doomsday about his bein' a consolation, I'd know it wasnothin' 't changed him but me comin' into them government bonds. Noman alive could help wantin' me after them bonds was found, 'n' I hadthe great pleasure o' learnin' that fact out o' Lawyer Weskin himself. All his species o' fun-makin' 't nobody but hisself ever sees any funin, jus' died right out when we unlocked father's old desk 'n' come onthat bundle o' papers. He give one look 'n' then all his gayspinniness oozed right out o' him, 'n' he told me 's serious 's ajudge 't a woman 's rich 's I be needed a good lawyer to look out f'rher 'n' her property right straight along. Well, I was 's quick toreply 's he was to speak. 'N' I was to the point too. I jus' up 'n'said, Yes, I thought so myself, 'n' jus' 's soon 's I got things torights I was goin' to the city 'n' get me one. "

Miss Clegg paused to frown reminiscently; Mrs. Lathrop's eyes neverquitted the other's face. 

"There was Mr. Sperrit too. Come with a big basket o' fresh vegetables't he said he thought 'd maybe tempt my appetite. I d'n' know 's Iever enjoyed rappin' no one over the knuckles more 'n I did him. Ijus' stopped to take in plenty o' breath 'n' then I let myself out, 'n' I says to him flat 'n' plain, I says, 'Thank you kindly, but Iguess no woman in these parts 's better able to tempt her own appetite'n' I be now, 'n' you'll be doin' me the only kindness 't it's in youto do me now if you'll jus' take your garden stuff 'n' give it to someone 's is poor 'n' needin'. ' He looked so crestfallen 't I made up mymind 't it was then or never to settle my whole score with him, so Iup 'n' looked him right in the eye 'n' I says to him, I says, 'Mr. Sperrit, you didn't seem to jus' realize what it meant to me that day't I took that horse 'n' buggy 'n' drove 'way out to your farm to seeyou; you didn't seem to think what it meant to me to take that trip:but I c'n tell you 't it costs suthin' for a woman to do a thing likethat; it cost me a good deal--it cost me fifty cents. ' He went awaythen, 'n' he can marry Eliza Gringer if he likes, 'n' I'll wish 'emboth joy 'n' consider myself the luckiest o' the three. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

"'N' then there's Jathrop!" continued the speaker, suddenlytransfixing her friend with a piercing glance, --"there's even Jathrop!under my feet night 'n' day. I declare to you 't upon my honor I ain'tturned around four times out o' five this week without almost fallin'over Jathrop wantin' me to give him a chance to explain his feelin's, I don't wish to hurt your feelin's, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' it's natural 't, seein' you can't help yourself, you look upon him 's better 'n'nothin', but still I will remark 't Jathrop's the last straw on top o'my hump, 'n' this mornin' when I throwed out the dish-water 'n' hithim by accident jus' comin' in, my patience clean gin out. I didn'tfeel no manner o' sympathy over his soapy wetness, 'n' I spoke my mindright then 'n' there. 'Jathrop Lathrop, ' I says to him, all forgettin'how big he'd got 'n' only rememberin' what a bother he's always been, 'Jathrop Lathrop, you let that soakin' be a lesson to you 'n' marchright straight home this instant, 'n' 'f you want to think of me, think 't if I hear any more about your feelin's the feelin' you'llhave best cause to talk about 'll be the feelin' o' gettin' spanked. '"

Mrs. Lathrop sighed slightly. 

Miss Clegg echoed the sigh. 

"There never was a truer sayin' 'n' the one 't things goes bycontraries, " she continued presently. "Here I've been figgerin' onbein' so happy married, 'n' instid o' that I find myself missin'father every few minutes. There was lots o' good about father, particular when he was asleep. I'd got so used to his stayin' where Iput him 't I don't know 's I c'd ever get used to a man 's could getabout. 'F I wanted to talk, father was always there to listen, 'n' 'fhe wanted to talk I c'd always go downstairs. He didn't never have butone button to keep sewed on 'n' no stockings to darn a _tall_. 'N' allthe time there was all them nice gover'ment bonds savin' up for me inhis desk! No, I sha'n't consider no more as to gettin' married. Whileit looked discouragin' I hung on 'n' never give up hope, but I sh'd beshowin' very little o' my natural share o' brains 'f I didn't know 'splain 's the moon above 't 'f I get to be eighty 'n' the fancy takesme I c'n easy get a husband any day with those bonds. While I couldn'tseem to lay hands on no man I was wild to have one--now 't I know Ic'n have any man 't I fancy, I don't want no man a _tall_. It'llalways be a pleasure to look back on my love-makin', 'n' I wouldn't beno woman 'f down in the bottom of my heart I wasn't some pleased overhavin' 's good 's had four offers inside o' the same week. But I mighto' married, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' Heaven might o' seen fit to give me sucha son 's he give you, 'n' 'f I hadn't no other reason for remainin'single that alone 'd be s'fficient. After all, the Lord said 'It isnot good for man to be alone, ' but He left a woman free to use hercommon sense 'n' I sh'll use mine right now. I've folded up the pinknightgown, 'n' I'm thinkin' very seriously o' givin' it to AmeliaFitch, 'n' I'll speak out frank 'n' open 'n' tell her 'n' everybodyelse 't I don't envy no woman--not now 'n' not never. "

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

II

MISS CLEGG'S ADOPTED

It was an evening in early October, --one of those first frosty nightswhen a bright wood fire is so agreeable to contemplate and so morethan agreeable to sit in front of. Susan Clegg sat in front of hers, and doubtless thoroughly appreciated its cheerful warmth, but itcannot be said that she took any time to contemplate it, for her gazewas altogether riveted upon the stocking which she was knitting, andwhich appeared--for the time being--to absorb completely thatpersevering energy which was the dominant note of her character. 

But still the beauty and brilliancy of the leaping flames were notaltogether lost upon an unseeing world, for there was another presentbeside Susan, and that other was full to overflowing with the power ofsilent admiration. Her little black beady eyes stared at the dancinglights that leapt from each burning log in a species of raptabsorption, and it was only semi-occasionally that she turned themback upon the work which lay upon her lap. Mrs. Lathrop (for of courseit was Mrs. Lathrop) was matching scraps for a "crazy" sofa-pillow, and there was something as touchingly characteristic in the calmnessand deliberation of her matching as there was in the wild whirl whichSusan's stocking received whenever that lady felt the moment had cometo alter her needles. For Susan, when she knit, knit fast andfuriously, whereas Mrs. Lathrop's main joy in relation to labor lay inthe sensation that she was preparing to undertake it. The sofa-pillowhad been conceived--some eighteen months before--as a crazy-quilt, butall of us who have entertained such friends unawares know that thesize of their quilts depended wholly upon the wealth of ourscrap-bags, and in the case of Mrs. Lathrop's friends their silk andsatin resources had soon forced the reduction of her quilt into asofa-pillow, and indeed the poor lady had during the first weeks felta direful dread that the final result would be only a pin-cushion. Shehad begun the task with the idea of keeping it for "pick-up" work, andduring the eighteen months since its beginning she had picked it up sorarely that after a year and a half of "matching" it was not yetmatched. It goes without saying that Miss Clegg had very littlesympathy with her friend's fancy-work and despised the slowness of itsprogress, but her contempt had no effect whatever upon Mrs. Lathrop, whose friendship was of that quality the basis of which knows not thesensation of being shaken. 

So the older woman sat before the fire, and sometimes stared long uponits glow, and sometimes thoughtfully drew two bits of silk from herbag and disposed them side by side to the end that she might calmlyand dispassionately judge the advisability of joining them togetherforever, while the younger woman knit madly away without an instant'sloss or a second's pause. 

Mrs. Lathrop was thinking very seriously of pinning a green stripe toa yellow polka-dotted weave which had once formed part of Mrs. Macy'smother's christening-robe, when Susan opened her lips and addressedher. The attack was so sudden that the proprietor of the crazy-workstarted violently and dropped the piece of the christening-robe; butthe slight accident had no effect upon her friend. 

"It does beat me, Mrs. Lathrop, " she began, "how you can potter overthat quilt year in and year out. I sh'd think you'd be so dead-sick o'the sight o' them pieces 't you'd be glad to dump the whole in thefire. I don't say but the idea is a nice one, an' you know 's well asI do that when they're too frayed to wear every one's nothin' but gladto save you their bonnet-strings, but all the same my own feelin' inthe matter is 't a thing that ain't come to sewin' in two years ain'tnever goin' to come to bindin' in my lifetime, an' naturally that 'dleave you to finish your quilt some years after you was dead. I don'tsee how you're goin' to get a quilt out o' them pieces anyhow. Thistown ain't give to choppin' up their silk in a way that's likely toleave you many scraps, 'n' I know 's far 's I'm concerned 't if I hadany good silk I sh'd certainly save it to mend with, 'n' I'm a richwoman too. "

"I ain't tryin' for a quilt, " said Mrs. Lathrop mildly, "I'm only--"

"_Mrs. Lathrop_"--Susan's tone was emphatically outraged--"Mrs. Lathrop, do you mean to say that after all this givin' you ain't goin'to do your share? 'N' me lettin' you have the inside of the top offather's hat, 'n' Mrs. Fisher savin' you all her corners jus' on yoursimple askin'. You _said_ a quilt, 'n' we give for a quilt, 'n' ifyou've changed your mind I must say I want the inside o' the hat againto polish my parlor lookin'-glass with. "

"I ain't got enough for the quilt, " said Mrs. Lathrop; "it's asofa-pillow I'm--"

"Oh, " said Susan, much relieved, "well--I'm glad to hear it. Icouldn't hardly believe it of you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' yet if you can'tbelieve what a person says of themselves who can you believe when itcomes to talkin' about anybody? I'm glad to know the truth, though, Mrs. Lathrop, for I was more upset 'n I showed at the notion o' losin'faith in you. You know what I think of you, 'n' I called you overto-night to ask your advice about suthin' as has been roamin' my headfor a long time, 'n' you can mebbe understand 's it didn't over-pleaseme to have your first remark one as I couldn't in reason approve of. Awoman as 'll begin a quilt 'n' trade hen's eggs 'n' all but go aroun'town on her bended knees to get the old ties of other women's lawfulhusbands, jus' to give up in the end has got no advisin' stuff for meinside o' her. I wouldn't like to hurt your feelin's, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' as long as you say it's a sofa-pillow o' course there's no harmdone, but still it _was_ a shock 'n' I can't deny it. "

Mrs. Lathrop appeared most regretful, withdrew her gaze from the fireand the yellow polka-dots and directed its entire volume at Susan. 

The latter altered her needles with a fierce fling, and thencontinued:

"However, now 's all is made clear I will go on 'n' tell you what's onmy mind. I'd be a fool not to tell you, havin' got you over here justfor the purpose o' bein' told, 'n' yet I've sat here a good hour--'n'you know I ain't over-give to sittin', Mrs. Lathrop--tryin' to decidewhether after all I would tell you or not. You see this subjeck isn'tnowise new to me, but it'll be new to you, 'n' bein' new to you Ican't see how anythin' 's goin' to be got out o' askin' you f'radvice. It ain't likely 't any one first go-off c'n think of things 'tI ain't thought of already, 'n' you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, howlittle you ever have to say to me compared to what I say to you. Besides, 's far's my observation 's extended no one don't ask f'radvice 'nless they've pretty well made up their mind not to take it, if so be 's it suits 'em better untook, 'n' when I make up my mind I'mgoin' to do a thing anyhow so there ain't much use in me askin' you 'ranybody else what they think about it. A woman 's rich 's I be don'tneed to take no one else's say-so nohow--not 'nless she feels soinclined, 'n' the older I get the less I incline. "

Mrs. Lathrop sighed slightly, but did not alter her position by ahair. Susan whirled her stocking, took a fresh breath, and went on:

"It's a subjeck 't I've been lookin' straight in the face, 's well 'supside down 'n' hind end to, f'r a good long time. I 'xpeck 't it'llmebbe come in the nature of a surprise to the c'mmunity in general, 'n' yet, to tell you the truth, Mrs. Lathrop, I was thinkin' o' thisvery thing away back las' spring when Mrs. Shores eloped. I was eventhinkin' of it that very minute, f'r I was one o' them 's was in thesquare when Johnny come runnin' from the station with the telegram. Everybody 's see Johnny's face thought 's two trains had smashed onhis a'count somewhere, 'n' I recolleck Mr. Kimball's sayin' 's hecouldn't 'a' looked more miserable 'f he'd been the man 's had runaway with her. It was too bad you wasn't there, Mrs. Lathrop, --Mrs. Macy always says 't she'll regret to her dyin' day 's she thought o'comin' to town that mornin' to get the right time f'r her clock 'n'then decided to wait 'n' set it by the whistle. Gran'ma Mullins wasthere--she was _almost_ in front o' Mr. Shores' store. I've heard hersay a hunderd times 't, give her three seconds more, 'n' she'd 'a'been right in front; but she was takin' her time, 'n' so she jus'missed seein' Johnny hand in the telegram. I was standin' back to theband-stand, tellin' Mrs. Allen my receipt for cabbage pickle, so Inever felt to blame myself none f'r not gettin' nearer quicker. Thefirst thing I recolleck was I says, ''N' then boil the vinegar again, ''n' Mrs. Allen give a scream 'n' run. Then I turned 'n' see every onerunnin', 'n' Mr. Shores in the lead. They do say 's he was so crazy 'tfirst 't he seemed to think he c'd catch the Knoxville Express bytearin' across the square. But he give out afore he reached JudgeFitch's, 'n' Johnny 'n' Hiram Mullins had to carry him home. Well, itwas a bad business at first, 'n' when she kidnapped the baby 't wasworse. I was down in the square the day 't Johnny come with thattelegram too. I remember Mrs. Macy 'n' me was the only ones there'cause it was Monday. I wasn't goin' to wash 'cause I only had anightgown 'n' two aprons, 'n' the currants was ripe 'n' I'd gone downto get my sugar, 'n' Johnny come kitin' up fr'm the station, 'n' Mrs. Macy 'n' me didn't put on no airs but just kited right after him. Mrs. Macy always says she learned to see the sense in Bible miracles thatday, f'r she had n't run in years then, 'n' she's walked with a stickever since, but she run that day, 'n' Johnny bein' tired 'n' Mrs. Macy'n' me fresh--she was a little fresher 'n me f'r I 'd been talkin'--weall three come in on Mr. Shores together. Seems like I c'n see himnow. He sort of shivered all over 'n' says, 'Ah--a telegram!' 'n'Johnny says, 'Jus' come, ' 'n' then we all waited. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I guess I've told you before how he jus' sort o' went right up in theair!--it said, 'We have took the child, ' 'n' he bounced all over likea rat that ain't good caught 'n' then he out 'n' away 'n' we rightafter him. He kept hollerin', 'It's a lie--it's a lie, ' but when hegot home he found out 't Mrs. Shores had kep' her word 's usual. Mrs. Macy put cold water to his head 'n' I mixed mustard plasters 'n' put'em on anywhere 't he was still enough, but all the same they had tolace him to the ironin' board that night. I hear lots o' folks says 'she's never really knowed which end up he was walkin' since, but Iguess there's more reasons f'r that 'n her takin' the baby. My ownview o' the matter is 't he misses his clerk full 's much 's he misseshis family, f'r he's got to tend both sides of the store at once 'n'he don't begin to be as spry 's that young feller was. He can't hopback 'n' forth over the counter like he used to; he's got to go wayback through the calicoes every time or else climb up in thewindow-seat over that squirrel 't he keeps there in a cage advertisin'fur-lined mitts 'n' winter nuts. Mr. Kimball 's forever makin' one o'them famous jokes of his over him, 'n' sayin' 't he never looks acrossthe square without he sees Shores tryin' to rise above his troubles'n' his squirrel together, but I don't see nothin' funny in any of itmyself. I think it's no more 'n' what he might of 'xpected. He got thesquirrel himself 'n' his wife too, 'n' she never did suit him. He wasall put out at first over her takin' it so to heart 't he wore a wig, 'n' then he was clean disgusted over the baby 'cause he wanted a boy't he could name after himself. They said he all but cried, 'n' shecried dreadful, f'r she didn't know nothin' about babies 'n' thoughtit was goin' to be bald always, jus' like him. But what did he marryfor if he did n't want trouble?--That was what I said to theminister's wife. She come to call right in the first of it, 'n' I mustsay 't if she hadn't come mebbe a good many things might o' beendifferent, for my mind was about made up then, an' I was thinkin' veryserious o' mebbe sayin' suthin' to you that very night. But she put meat outs with the whole thing--not as I won't admit 't there ain't adifference between one 'n' nine, f'r any one c'n work _that_ out ontheir fingers fast enough. "

Mrs. Lathrop assented to this statement by moving her head in a slowacquiescent rhythm as she rocked. 

"But her talk was certainly awful discouragin'. She was tryin' tospeak o' Mr. Shores, but she kep' trailin' back to herself, 'n' whenshe said 't she'd never had time to crimp her hair since her weddin'day she jus' broke right down. I cheered her up all I could. I toldher she couldn't with a clear conscience blame any one but herself 'n'she'd ought to say her prayers of gratitude 't she hadn't got eightherself, same 's him. She sort o' choked 'n' said she couldn't haveeight 'cause she had n't been married but one year. 'Well, ' I says, 'Idon't see no great sense in that; he had eight the day he was married's far 's that goes, did n't he?' She jus' rocked back 'n' forth 'n'said 't no one in the whole wide world had any notion how many eightchildren was till they turned aroun' from the altar 'n' see 'em strungout in the pew 's is saved for the family. I told her 't as far 's myobservation 'd 'xtended quite a number o' things looked differentcomin' down from the altar, 'n' it was in my heart to tell her 't ifI'd let any man get so much the better o' me 's to marry me, myself-respeck would certainly shut my mouth up tight afterwards. Aslong 's a woman 's single she's top-dog in the fight 'n' can say whatshe pleases, but after she's married a man she'll keep still 'f she'swise, 'n' the wiser she is the stiller she'll keep, for there's nosense in ever lettin'folks know how badly you've been fooled. --But Ididn't say all that to the minister's wife, for she didn't look likeshe had strength to listen, 'n' so I made her some tea instead. --'N'_then_ it come out 't after all what she come for was to borrow myclo'es-wringer! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I certainly didn't have no blamef'r myself at feelin' some tempered under them circumstances, --me _so_sympathetic--'n' the tea--'n' all. "

Mrs. Lathrop shook her head in calm and appreciative understanding. 

"Did you lend--" she asked. 

"--'N' there are folks just like that in this world too, " Susancontinued, "'n' it beats me what the Lord makes 'em so for, forthey'll talk 'n' talk 'n' wander all over every subjeck in Creation tocome 'n' never even begin to get around to the point till you're cleangi'n out with listenin'. 'F the minister's wife hadn't come that day'n' hadn't talked as she did, I might 'a' been left less wore out and, as a consequence, have told you that night what I ain't never told youyet, for it was strong in my mind then 'n' it's strong in my mind now, 'n' bein' one o' them 's wastes no words, I'll state to you at once, Mrs. Lathrop, 't before Mrs. Shores run away--'n' after she run awaytoo, f'r that matter--I was thinkin' very seriously o' adoptin' ababy. "

"A--" said Mrs. Lathrop, opening her eyes somewhat. 

"A baby, " repeated Susan. "I feel you ought to be the first one toknow it because, 's much 's I'm out, you'll naturally have the care ofit the most of the time. "

Mrs. Lathrop clawed feebly among her pieces and seemed somewhatbewildered as she clawed. 

"Mrs. Shores' ba--" she queried. 

Susan screamed. 

"_Mrs. Lathrop!_"--she stopped knitting so that she might concentrateher entire strength into the extreme astonishment which she desired torender manifest in those two words--"Mrs. Lathrop!--Me!--adopt Mrs. Shores' baby! Adopt the baby of a woman as 'd gone off 'n' left it!"

Mrs. Lathrop looked deeply apologetic. 

"I didn't know--" she ventured. 

"Well, you'd ought to of, " said Susan, "'n' if you didn't I'd neverown to it. Such a idea never entered my head, 'n' I can't conceivewhen nor how it entered yours. Only I'm free to confess to one thing, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' that is 't 'f _I_ was give to havin' ideas 'ssenseless 's yours often are, I'd certainly keep my mouth shut 'n' letpeople 's knows more do the talkin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop swallowed the rebuke and remained passively overcome bythe after-clap of her astonishment. 

Susan began to knit again. 

"I wasn't thinkin' o' Mrs. Shores' baby 'n' I wasn't thinkin' o' nobaby in particular. I never said I was thinkin' of any baby--I said Iwas thinkin' of _a_ baby. I sh'd think you could 'a' seen thedifference, but even if you can't see it there is a difference justthe same. My sakes alive! it's a serious enough matter decidin' toadopt some one for good 'n' all without hurryin' the doin' of it any. If you was 's rich 's I be, Mrs. Lathrop, you'd understand thatbetter. 'N' if you was 's rich 's I be, you might not be in no more ofa hurry 'n I am. I ain't in a hurry a _tall_. I ain't in a hurry 'n' Idon't mean to be in a hurry. I'm only jus' a-gettin' on towards makin'up my mind. "

Mrs. Lathrop slowly and meditatively drew a piece of sky-blue farmer'ssatin from her bag and looked at it absent-mindedly. Susan twirled herstocking and went on. 

"'S long 's I've begun I may 's well make a clean breast of the wholenow. O' course you don't know nothin', Mrs. Lathrop, but, to put thewhole thing in a shell, this adoptin' of a child 's a good deal toconsider. When a woman 's married, it's the Lord's will 'n' out o' theBible 'n' to be took without no murmurin' 's to your own feelin's inthe matter. Every one 's sorry for married people, no matter how theirchildren turn out, because, good or bad, like enough they done theirbest, 'n' if they didn't it was always the other one's fault; butthere ain't no one goin' to lay themselves out to try 'n' smooth mychild's thorns into a bed o' roses for me. Every one 's jus' goin' toup 'n' blame me right 'n' left, 'n' if it has a pug-nose or turns outbad I can't shoulder none of it onto the Lord, I'll jus' have thewhole c'mmunity sayin' I've got myself 'n' no one else to thank. Now, when you know f'r sure 't you can't blame nobody else but jus'yourself, you go pretty slow, 'n' for that very reason I'm thinkin'this subjeck well over afore I decide. There's a good many questionsto consider, --my mind 's got to be made up whether boy or girl 'n' age'n' so forth afore I shall open my lips to a livin' soul. "

Mrs. Lathrop appeared to be slowly recovering from the effects of hersurprise. 

"Would you take a small--" she asked, perhaps with some mentalreference to the remark that dowered her with the occasional charge ofthe future adopted Clegg. 

"Well, I d'n' know. That's a very hard thing that comes up first ofall every time 't I begin thinkin'. When most folks set out to adopt ababy, the main idea seems to be to try 'n' get 'em so young 't theycan't never say for sure's you ain't their mother. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded approval, mute but emphatic, of the wisdom of herfriend's views. 

"But I ain't got none o' that foolish sort o' notions in me. Iwouldn't be its mother, 'n' 'f there was n't no one else to tell it soMr. Kimball 'd rejoice to the first time I sent it down town alone. It's nigh to impossible to keep nothin' in the town with Mr. Kimball. A man f'rever talkin' like that 's bound to tell everythin' sooner orlater, 'n' I never was one to set any great store o' faith on atalker. When I don't want the whole town to know 't I'm layin' inrat-poison I buy of Shores, 'n' when I get a new dress I buy o'Kimball. I don't want my rats talked about 'n' I don't mind my dress. For which same reason I sh'll make no try 't foolin' my baby. I'll becontent if it cooes. I remember Mrs. Macy's sayin' once 't a baby wassweetest when it cooes, 'n' I don't want to miss nothin', 'n' we ain'tnever kep' doves for me to be dead-sick o' the noise, so I want thecooin' age. I think it'll be pleasant comin' home days to hear thebaby cooin', 'n' 'f it cooes too loud when I'm away you c'n alwayscome over 'n' see if it's rolled anywhere. I c'n see that, generallyspeaking, it's a wise thing that folks jus' have to take 'em as theycome, because when it's all for you to choose you want so much 't like's not I can't be suited after all. It's goin' to be pretty harddecidin', 'n' when I've done decidin' it's goin' to be pretty hardfindin' a baby that's all 't I've decided; 'n' then, _if_ I findit, --then comes the raisin' of it, 'n' I espect that 'll be suthin'jus' awful. "

"How was you goin' to find--" Mrs. Lathrop asked. 

"Well, I've got to go to town to look at winter coats, 'n' I thought't when I'd found what I wanted I'd jus' glance through two or threeorphan asylums afore comin' home. "

Mrs. Lathrop pinned the purple to the yellow and shut one eye so as tojudge of the combination from the single standpoint of the other. Sheseemed to be gradually regaining her normal state of abnormalcalmness. 

"I thought 't your coat was pretty good, " she said mildly, as Susanaltered her needles. The stocking started violently. 

"Pretty good! It's most new. My heavens alive, Mrs. Lathrop, don't youknow 's well 's I do 't I ain't had my new coat but four years 'n'then only to church!"

"You _said_ 't you was goin' to get--" Mrs. Lathrop remarked, unpinningthe purple as she spoke and replacing it in the bag. 

"_Mrs. Lathrop_! 'f you don't beat anythin' 't I ever saw for puttin'words 't I never even dreamed of into other folks's mouths! 'S if Ishould ever think o' buyin' a new coat 'n' the price-tag not evendirty on the inside o' mine yet! I never said 't I was goin' to buy acoat, --I never thought o' goin' to buy a coat, --what I did say was 'tI was goin' to _look at_ coats, an' the reason 't I'm goin' to look atcoats is because I'm goin' to cut over the sleeves o' mine. I thoughtall last winter 't it was pretty queer for a woman 's rich 's I be towear old-fashioned sleeves--more particularly so where I c'n easy cuta new sleeve crossways out o' the puffs o' the old ones. 'N' _that's_why I want to look at coats, Mrs. Lathrop, for I ain't in the habit o'settin' my shears in where I can't see my way out. "

Mrs. Lathrop fingered a piece of rusty black silk and made no comment. 

"When I get done lookin' at coats, lookin' 't orphans 'll be jus' anice change. If I see any 't I think might suit I'll take theirnumbers 'n' come home 'n' see about decidin', 'n' if I don't see any't I like I'll come home jus' the same. "

The clock struck nine. Mrs. Lathrop rose and gathered up her bag ofpieces. 

"I mus' be goin' home, " she said. 

"I was thinkin' that very same thing, " said Susan, rising also. "It'sour thinkin' so much the same't keeps us friends, I guess. "

Mrs. Lathrop sought her shawl and departed. 

* * * * *

It was about a week later that the trip to town took place. The daywas chosen to suit the opening of a most unprecedented Fire-Sale. MissClegg thought that the latest styles in coat-sleeves were likely tobloom broadcast on so auspicious an occasion, and Mrs. Lathrop herselfwas sufficiently infected by the advertising in the papers to dare tointrust her friend with the whole of a two-dollar bill to bejudiciously invested if bargains should really run as wildly rife aswas predicted. 

Susan departed very early and did not get back till very late--so latein fact that her next-door neighbor had the time to become more than alittle anxious as to the possibilities of some mischance havingbefallen her two-dollar bill. 

But towards eight o'clock signs of life next door appeared to theanxious watcher in the Lathrop kitchen window, and one minute latershe was on her way across. She found the front door, which wascommonly open, to be uncommonly shut, and was forced to rap loudly andwait lengthily ere the survivor of the Fire-Sale came to let her in. 

Then when the door did open the figure which appeared in the openingwas such as to startle even the phlegmatically disposed chewer ofclover. 

"My heavens alive, Susan, whatever is the matter with--"

Susan backed faintly into the hall so as to allow the other to enter. 

"I'm worn to a frazzle--that's all!" she said weakly and wearily. 

They turned into the parlor, where the lamp was burning, and Mrs. Lathrop gave a little frightened scream:

"Susan! why, you look half--"

Miss Clegg collapsed at once heavily upon the haircloth-covered sofa. 

"I guess you'd better make me some tea, " she suggested, and shut hereyes. 

Mrs. Lathrop had no doubt whatever on the subject. Hurrying out to thekitchen, she brewed a cup of the strongest possible tea in the fewestpossible moments, and brought it in to the traveller. The latter drankwith satisfaction, then leaned back with a sigh. 

"It was a auction!" she said in tones that gasped. 

Mrs. Lathrop could restrain her anxiety no longer. 

"Did you get anything with my--" she asked. 

"Yes; it's out in the hall with my shawl. "

"What did--"

"It's a parrot, " said Susan. 

"A parrot!" cried Mrs. Lathrop, betraying as much feeling as it was inher to feel. 

"Without any head, " Susan added wearily. 

"Without any head!"

Then Miss Clegg straightened up in her seat and opened her eyes. 

"There ain't no need o' bein' so surprised, " she said in that peculiartone with which one who has spent another's money always defends hispurchase, --"it's a stuffed parrot without any head. "

"A stuffed parrot without any head!" Mrs. Lathrop repeated limply, andher tone was numb and indescribable. 

"How much did it--" she asked after a minute. 

"I bid it in for one dollar 'n' ninety-seven cents, --I was awfulscared f'r fear it would go over your two dollars, an' it wasn'tnothin' that I'd ever want, so I couldn't 'a' taken it off your handsif it _had_ gone over your money. "

"I wonder what I can do with it, " her neighbor said feebly. 

"You must hang it in the window so high 't the head don't show. "

"I thought you said it didn't have no head. "

Miss Clegg quitted the sofa abruptly and came over to her own chair;the tea appeared to be beginning to take effect. 

"It _hasn't_ got no head! If it had a head, where would be the sensein hangin' it high a _tall_? It's your good luck, Mrs. Lathrop, 't ithasn't got no head, for the man said 't if it had a head it would 'a'brought four or five dollars easy. "

Mrs. Lathrop got up and went out into the hall to seek her parrot. When she brought it in and examined it by the light of the lamp, herexpression became more than dubious. 

"What did _you_ get for your--" she asked at last. 

"I didn't get nothin'. I didn't see nothin' 't I wanted, 'n' I learnedlong ago 't an auction 's generally a good place f'r buyin' things 'tyou don't want after you've bought 'em. Now take that parrot o'yours!--I wouldn't have him 'f you was to offer him to me for a gift;not to speak o' his not havin' no head, he looks to me like he hadmoths in him, --you look at him by daylight to-morrow 'n' see if itdon't strike you so too. "

Mrs. Lathrop was silent for a long time. Finally she said:

"Did you go to the Orphan Asylum?"

"Well--no--I did n't. I would 'a' gone only I got on the wrong car 'n'ended in a cemetery instead. I had a nice time there, though, walkin'roun' 'n' readin' ages, an' jus' as I was goin' out I met a monumentman 't had a place right outside the gate, 'n' he took me to look athis things, 'n' then I remembered father--two years dead 'n' not astone on him yet!"

Mrs. Lathrop laid the parrot aside with a heavy sigh and concentratedall her attention upon her friend's recital. 

"The man was about 's pleasant a man 's ever I met. When I told himabout father, he told me he took a interest in every word, whether Ibought a monument of him or not. He said he'd show me all he had 'n'welcome 'n' it was no trouble but a joy. Then he took me all throughhis shop 'n' the shed behind, 'n' really I never had a nicer time. Isee a lamb lyin' down first, 'n' I thought 't that would be nice f'r alittle, but the further back we went the finer they got. The manwanted me to take a eagle grippin' a pen 'n' writin' father's name ona book 't he's sittin' on to hold open while he writes. I told him 'fI bought any such monument I cert'nly would want the name somewhereelse than up where no one but the eagle could read it. He said 't Icould have the name below 'n' let the eagle be writin' 'Repose inPeace, ' but I told him 't father died of paralysis after bein' in bedfor twenty years 'n' that his idea o' Heaven wasn't reposin' inpeace, --he always looked forward to walkin' about 'n. ' bein' prettylively there. Then the man said 't maybe suthin' simple would be moreto my taste, 'n' he took me to where there was a pillow with a wreathof roses on it, but--my gracious, I'd never be so mean 's to put apillow anywhere near father after all them years in bed, 'n' as to theroses they'd be jus' 's bad or worse, for you know yourself how theygive him hay-fever so 's we had to dig up all the bushes years ago. 

"But I'll tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, what I _did_ see that nobody on thewide earth c'd help wishin' was on top o' their grave the minute theylaid eyes on it. It's a lion--a weepin' lion--kind o' tryin' to wipehis eyes with one paw. I tell you I never saw nothin' one quarter sohandsome over no one yet, 'n' if I wasn't thinkin' o' adoptin' a childI'd never rest until I'd set that lion on top of father. But o'course, as it is, I can't even think how it might look there; thelivin' has rights over the dead, 'n' my child can't go without thenecessaries of life while my father gets a weepin' lion 't when youcome right square down to it he ain't got no more use for 'n' a cathas for two tails. No, I'm a rich woman, but all incomes has theiroutside fence. 'F a man 's got a million a year, he can't spend twomillion, 'n' I can't start in child raisin' 'n' tombstone father allin the same year. Father 'll have to wait, 'n' he got so used to itwhile he was alive 't he ought not to mind it much now he's dead. ButI give the man my address, 'n' he give me one o' his cards, 'n' when Igo to the Orphan Asylum I may go back 'n' see him, an' maybe if I tellhim about the baby he'll reduce the lion some. The lion is awfulhigh--strikes me. He's three hunderd dollars, but the man says that 'sbecause his tail 's out o' the same block. I asked him if he couldn'ttake the tail off, but he said 't that would hurt his reputation. Hesaid 'f I'd go up the ladder to his second floor 'n' look down on thelion I'd never talk about sawin' off his tail, 'n' he said 't anyhowcuttin' it off would only make it cost more because it was cut on inthe first place. I saw the sense o' that, 'n' I remembered, too, 'teven 'f folks in the cemetery never can see the tail, father 'll haveto look at it from higher up 'n the ladder to the monument man's shed, 'n' I don't want him to think 't I economized on the tail of histombstone. I tell you what, Mrs. Lathrop, I cert'nly do want thatlion, but I can't have it, so I've decided not to think of it again. The man c'd see I wanted it, 'n' I c'd see 't he really wanted me tohave it. He felt so kind o' sorry for me 't he said he'd do me aweepin' fox for one hunderd 'n' fifty, if I wanted it, but I didn'twant no fox. Father didn't have nothin' like a fox--his nose was broad'n' kind o' flat. He hadn't nothin' like a lion, neither, but I'd liketo have the only lion in the cemetery ours. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded her head sympathetically. 

Miss Clegg sighed and looked pensive for a moment, but it was soonover. 

"'N' I've decided about my child too, " she continued briskly, --"I'vedecided to have a boy. I decided goin' in on the train to-day. I'dbeen sorter thinkin' that I'd leave it to chance, but ordinary folkscan't do no more 'n' that, 'n' where 's the good o' me bein' so open'n' above-board 'f I dunno whether it'll be a boy or girl, after all?I might 's well 's married the minister, 'n' Lord knows Mrs. Shores'stroubles ought to be warnin' enough to no woman in this community notto marry no man, f'r one while, at any rate. If Mrs. Shores hadn'tmarried Mr. Shores, she c'd easy 'a' married his clerk when she fellin love with him. No woman that 's goin' to fall in love ever ought tobegin by marryin' another man first. It mixes everythin' all up. ButMrs. Shores was a fool or she never would 'a' married him to beginwith. I told him that the first time 't I see him after she was gone. I thought 't if it was any comfort to him to know that there was oneperson in the c'mmunity 't looked on his wife as a fool he was welcometo the knowin'. So I told him, 'n' I used those very self-same wordstoo, --'n' I cert'nly did ache to tell him that he was jus' 's big afool himself to 'a' ever married her, but I didn't think 't that wouldbe jus' polite. 

"But all that was right in the first of it--before she took the baby. I'm free to confess 't I think he c'd 'a' stood anythin' 'f she hadn'ttook the baby. It was the baby as used him all up. 'N' that seems kindo' queer too, for seems to me, 'f my wife run away, I'd be glad tomake a clean sweep o' her 'n' hers 'n' begin all afresh; I'd neverhave no injunctions 'n' detectives drawin' wages for chasin' no wife'n' baby 't left o' their own accord. But that's jus' like a man, 'n'I must say 't I'm dead glad 't no man ain't goin' to have no right tointerfere with my child. I c'n take it 'n' go anywhere 't I please 'n'never be afraid o' any subpenny comin' down on me. 'S far 's I'mconcerned, I only wish 't she'd send back 'n' abduct him too, 'n' thenthe community 'd have some peace on the Shores subjeck. There ain'tnothin' left to say, 'n' every one keeps sayin' it over 'n' over fromdawn to dark. I must say, Mrs. Lathrop, 't when I c'nsider how muchfolks still find to say o' Mrs. Shores 'n' it all, I'm more 'n proudthat I ain't never been one to say nothin' a _tall_. "

Mrs. Lathrop did not speak for some time. Then she took up her parrotagain and looked thoughtfully at its feet. 

"What made you decide on a b--" she asked at last. 

"I didn't decide. I c'u'd n't decide, 'n' so I shook a nickel forheads 'n' tails. "

"'N' it came a boy. "

"No, it came a girl, 'n' the minute 't I see 't it was a girl I knew't I'd wanted a boy all along, so, 's the good o' me bein' free to act's I please is 't I do act 's I please, I decided then 'n' there on aboy. "

Mrs. Lathrop turned the parrot over. 

'F you was so set on a boy, why did you--"

"What do folks ever toss up for? To decide. Tossin' up always showsyou jus' how much you didn't want what you get. Only, as a generalthing, there's some one else who does want it, an' they grab it 'n'you go empty-handed. The good o' me tossin' is I c'n always takeeither side o' the nickel after I've tossed. I ain't nobody'sfool--'n' I never was--'n' I never will be. But I guess I've got toask you to go home now, Mrs. Lathrop. I've had a hard day 'n' I'm'most too tired to pay attention to what you say any longer. I want toget to bed 'n' to sleep, 'n' then to-morrow maybe I'll feel liketalkin' myself. "

* * * * *

The third morning after Miss Clegg's trip to town she astonished herneighbor by tapping on the latter's kitchen window at the early hourof seven in the morning. Mrs. Lathrop was getting breakfast, and hersurprise caused her to jump unduly. 

"Well, _Susan_!" she said, opening the door, "what ever is the--"

"Matter! Nothin' ain't the matter, only I've had a letter from themonument man. It come last night, 'n' the minister took it out o' thepost-office 'n' sent it over by little 'Liza Em'ly when she come withthe milk this mornin'. I dunno whether to thank the minister for bein'so kind or whether to ask him to mind his own business. It's got'Important' on the corner, 'n' sometimes I don't go to the post-officefor two days at a time, but jus' the same it strikes me 't I ain'taltogether in favor o' the minister's carryin' my mail home with himany time he feels so inclined. If I'd 'a' married him, I never 'd 'a'allowed him to interfere with my affairs, 'n' 's long 's I didn'tmarry him I don't see no good reason for his doin' so now. "

Susan paused and looked at the letter which she held in her hand. Mrs. Lathrop slid one of the kitchen chairs up behind her, and she satdown, still looking at the letter. 

"It's from the monument man, " she said again, "'n' I don't know whatever I shall do about it, I'm sure. "

Mrs. Lathrop was all attention. 

"It's about the lion. He says 't he's been 'n' took some black chalk'n' marked around under him 'Sacred to the memory of Blank Clegg, ' 'n'he says 't it looks so noble 't he's had an offer for the monument 'n'he wants me to come in 'n' see it afore he sells it to--to some oneelse. "

There was a short silence, broken at last by Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Your father's name wa'n't 'Blank, '" she said; "it was 'Henry. '"

Susan knit her brows. 

"I know, 'n' that's one thing 't 's been troublin' me. It's writtenout in good plain letters--'Blank Clegg'--'n' I've been tryin' 'n'tryin' to think what I could 'a' said to 'a' made him suppose 't itcould 'a' been 'Blank. ' That 'd be the last name in the wide world foranybody to name anybody else, I sh'd suppose, 'n' I can't see for thelife o' me why that monument man sh'd 'a' hit on it for father. I'mcert'nly mighty glad that he's only marked it on in black chalk 'n'not chopped it out o' the bottom o' the lion. O' course 'f he 'dchopped it out I'd 'a' had to 'a' taken it an' it'd jus' made me thelaughin'-stock o' the whole community. I know lots o' folks 't areplenty mean enough 's to say 't that lion was weepin' because I didn'tknow my own father's name. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked sober. 

"So I guess I've got to go to town by to-day's ten o'clock. I ain't nointention o' takin' the lion, but I _shall_ like to stand off a littleways 'n' look at the part o' the name 't 's spelt right. Later maybeI'll visit a few asylums--I ain't sure. But anyway I thought I'd jus'run over 'n' let you know 't I was goin', 'n' ask you if there'sanythin' 't I can get f'r you while I'm in town. "

"No, there isn't, " said Mrs. Lathrop with great firmness. 

Susan rose to go. 

"I'm thinkin' o' buyin' the Shores baby outfit, " she said. "I guessMr. Shores 'll be glad to sell it cheap. They say 't he can't bear tobe reminded o' the baby, 'n' I don't well see what else the crib 'n'the baby carriage can remind him of. "

"I wonder if the sewing-machine reminds him o' Mrs. Shores, " said Mrs. Lathrop. "I'd be glad to buy it if it did 'n' 'f he was wantin' tosell it cheap. "

"I dunno why it sh'd remind him o' Mrs. Shores, " said Susan; "shenever sewed on it none. She never did nothin' 's far 's I c'd make outexcept to sit on the front porch 'n' talk to his clerk. My, but I sh'dthink he 'd hate the sight o' that front porch. If it c'd be got off, I 'd like to buy that of him too. My front porch 's awful old 'n'shaky 'n' I 'll need a good porch to wheel baby on. He c'd take myporch in part payment. It's bein' so old 'n' shaky wouldn't matter tohim I don't suppose, for I 'll bet a dollar he 'll never let no otherwife o' his sit out on no porch o' his, not 'ntil after he's dead 'n'buried anyway; 'n' as for sittin' on a porch himself, well, all is Iknow 't if it was me it 'd scorch my rockers. "

"What time do you think 't you '11 get back?" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I ain't sure. 'F I should get real interested huntin' orphans, Imight stay until it was too dark to see 'em good. I can't tell nothin'about it, though. You 'd better watch for the light in the kitchen, 'n' when you see it burnin' I wish 't you'd come right over. "

Mrs. Lathrop agreed to this arrangement, and Miss Clegg went home toget ready for town. 

* * * * *

She returned about five o'clock, and the mere general aspect of herapproaching figure betokened some doing or doings so well worthy ofneighborly interest that Mrs. Lathrop left her bread in the oven andflew to satisfy her curiosity. 

She found her friend warming her feet by the kitchen stove, and onelook at her radiant countenance sufficed. 

"You found a baby!"

Susan upraised supremely joyful eyes. 

"No, " she replied, "but I've bought the weepin' lion!"

Mrs. Lathrop sat suddenly down. 

"You never saw anythin' so grand in all your life! He rubbed the'Blank' off with a wet cloth 'n' wrote in the 'Henry' with me standin'right there. I never see anythin' that went right through me that waybefore. Puttin' on 'Henry' seemed to bring the lion right into thefamily, an'--well, you can believe me or not jus' as you please, Mrs. Lathrop, but I up 'n' begin to cry right then 'n' there. The monumentman made me sit down on a uncut block 'n' lean my back up against aNo-Cross-no-Crown, 'n' while I sat there he chalked in father's birth'n' death 'n' 'Erected by his devoted daughter Susan, ' 'n' at that Istood right up 'n' said 't I 'd take it, 'n' it wasn't no hastydecision, neither, f'r after I 'd made up my mind I couldn't see nogood reason for continuin' to sit there 'n' draw frost out o' granite'n' into my shoulder-blades jus' for the looks o' the thing. "

"But about the ba--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Oh, the baby 'll have to go. I told you all along 't it had to be oneor t' other an' in the end it's the lion as has come out on top. Iguess I was n't cut out to be a mother like I was a daughter. I know't I never wanted a baby for myself half like I 've wanted that lionfor my dead 'n' gone father. Do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, I do believe't I had a persentiment the first time I ever see that lion. Suthin'sort o' crep' right up my back, 'n' I 'm jus' sure 't folks 'll comefrom miles roun' to see it. I guess it's the Finger o' Fate. When youcome to think o' it, it 's all for the best jus' the way 't it 's comeout. The baby 'd 'a' grown up an' gone off somewhere, an' the lion 'llstay right where you put him, for he 's so heavy that the monument mansays we 'll have to drive piles all down aroun' father. Then, too, maybe I could n't 'a' managed a boy an' I can scour that lion all Iwant to. 'N' I will scour him too, --nobody need n't suppose 't I'vepaid three hunderd dollars f'r anythin' to let it get mossy. I'veinvited the monument man 'n' his wife to come 'n' visit me while he'sgettin' the lion in place, 'n' he says he's so pleased over me 'n'nobody else gettin' it 't he's goin' to give me a paper sayin' 't whenI die he'll chop my date in f'r nothin'. I tell you what, Mrs. Lathrop, I certainly am glad 't I've got the sense to know when I'mwell off, 'n' I cert'nly do feel that in this particular case I'mmighty lucky. So all 's well 't ends well. "

Mrs. Lathrop nodded. 

III

JATHROP LATHROP'S COW

Jathrop Lathrop was just the style and build of young man to be easilypersuaded into taking a kicking cow in full payment of a good debt. Jathrop having taken the cow, it naturally fell to the lot of hismother to milk her. The reader can quickly divine what event formedthe third of these easily to be foreseen developments of the mosteventful day in the life of the cow's new proprietor. The kicking cowkicked Jathrop Lathrop's mother, not out of any especial antipathytowards that most innocuous lady, but just because it was of a kickingnature and Mrs. Lathrop was temptingly kickable. The sad part of thematter was that Mrs. Lathrop was not only kickable but breakable aswell. It followed that at twelve o'clock that noon Miss Clegg, returning from a hasty trip to the city, was greeted at the depot bythe sad tidings, and it was not until various of the town folk hadfinished their versions of the disaster that she was at last allowedto hasten to the bedside of her dear friend, whom she found not onlyin great bodily distress but also already cast in plaster. 

Miss Clegg's attitude as she stood in the doorway was one of blendedcommiseration and disgust. 

"Well, I never would 'a' believed it o' Jathrop!" she burst forth atlast. 

"'T wa'n't Jathrop, " Mrs. Lathrop protested feebly; "it was the--"

"I know, but the cow never come of her own free will, 'n' it strikesme 't Jathrop's the one to blame. I never was so done up in my life 'sI was when I hear this about you. You kin believe me or not jus' 'syou please, Mrs. Lathrop, but I was so nigh to struck dead 't Istopped short with one leg on the station 'n' the other on the train. It was Johnny 's dodged out o' the ticket-office to tell me the minutethe train stopped, 'n' I d'n' know but I'd be there yet--f'r I wasclean struck all in a heap--only a man jus' behind jammed me with acase o' beer 't he was bringin' home. To think 's I see you goin' tothe barn jus' 's I was lookin' f'r a place to hide my keys aforeleavin', 'n' then to think 's them was your last legs 'n' you usin''em 's innocent 's a grasshopper on a May mornin'!--I tell you I wasso used up I thought some o' askin' to be druv up here, but Johnnydidn't have no time to give pertickilers 'cause the telegraph begin towork jus' at that very minute 'n' he had to dodge back to see whatthey wanted to tick him about, so I see 't the wisest thing was towalk up 'n' find out f'r myself. Besides, you c'n understand 't if youwas beyond hope I'd be nothin' but foolish to pay a quarter to get toyou in a hurry, 'n' I never was one to be foolish nor yet to wastequarters, 'n' so I come along through town, 'n' as a consequence Iguess 't I know 's much 's you know yourself now. "

Mrs. Lathrop looking duly inquisitive for details of her own accident, Miss Clegg advanced forthwith upon a seat and occupied it beforebeginning. 

"I see Mrs. Macy first, 'n' she told me all as to how it happened. Shesays you turned two back somersaults 'n' just missed squashin' thecat, 'n' 't young Dr. Brown told her 't if he hadn't been so busyplantin' his garden to-day he certainly would 'a' felt 't it 'd 'a'been nothin' but right to diagnose you all over. Mrs. Macy says sheain't none too over-pleased 't the way he spoke, for, to her order o'thinkin', you had a pretty serious kick 'n' you'd ought to realize it. She wanted me to ask you 'f he had you hang to the head-board while hegive your leg a good hard jerk, 'cause she says 't that's the onlyreal safe way to make all the bones come back into place; she says 'fyou ain't shattered you're bound to come straight pervided the doctorjerks hard enough. She says they did her lame leg that way over thirtyyears ago, 'n' she says 't, sittin' down 'n' side by side, she'd betanything 't the minister 'n' all the deacons couldn't pick out onefrom t' other. She says all her trouble comes when she walks. Nights'n' rockin' she'd never know she was lame herself. "

Mrs. Lathrop looked slightly distressed. 

"Gran'ma Mullins come up while we was talkin', 'n' she's terribleupset over you. She never had no lameness, she says; her trouble 'sall in her ribs, --them ribs 't go from under your arms down. But shewants to know if you was put in plaster, 'n' she said f'r me to askright off. "

"Yes; I--" replied Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Oh!" Susan's face darkened. "I declare, that's too bad. 'N' young Dr. Brown 's gone now too. I see him 'n' Amelia drivin' out towards theSperrits' while I was in the square. Well, if it's on, it's on, 'n'the Lord be with you, Mrs. Lathrop, f'r 'f Gran'ma Mullins says truth, no one else c'n help you now. You see, she told Mrs. Macy 'n' me whatplaster is. It's eatin', that's what it is. Plaster 'll eat anythin'right up, hide, hair, 'n' all. She says don't you know how, when yousmell a dead rat in the wall, you throw some plaster in on him, 'n'after a while you don't smell no more rat 'cause there ain't no morerat there to smell; the plaster 's eat him all up. She says you maylaugh 'f you feel so inclined, but there ain't no such big differencebetween your leg 'n' a dead rat but what it'll pay you to mark herwords. She says 'f it don't do no more 'n eat the skin off it'll stillbe pretty hard for you to lay there without no skin 'n' feel theplaster goin' in more 'n' more. She says 't we all wish him well, 'n'yet no one in their right mind c'n deny as young Dr. Brown is n't oldDr. Carter, 'n' no amount o' well wishin' c'n ever make him so. Shesays 'f she was you she 'd never rest till old Dr. Carter 'd lookedinto that leg, f'r a leg is a leg, 'n' it says in the Bible 't if youlose your salt what 'll you salt with. "

Mrs. Lathrop's distress deepened visibly. 

"I tell you I was more 'n a little troubled over her words. Gran'maMullins ain't one to make up nothin', 'n' I know myself 't that 'strue about the plaster. I 've eat up rats that way time 'n'again, --mice too, f'r that matter. It 'd be an awful thing f'r you tolay there peaceful 'n' happy till it come time f'r him to unwrap yourleg 'n' then when he unwrapped have him find no leg in the centre. Nothin' 't he could say would help any--there you 'd be one leg goneforever. 'F it was your foot, it 'd all be different, f'r you couldhop around right spry with a false foot, but I d'n' know what goodyour foot 'll do you with the leg in between gone. I never hear o' noreal foot on a false leg, 'n' 'f I was you, I certainly wouldn't wantto lay wonderin' 'f I still had two legs f'r six weeks. "

"Six weeks!" cried Mrs. Lathrop, with a start that collapsed at onceinto a groan; "must I lay--"

"Gran'ma Mullins says, " pursued Susan, "'t the reason she knows somuch about it all is 't she had a cousin with a broken leg once. Itwa'n't no cow 's kicked him, jus' he was give to meditatin', 'n' whilemeditatin' durin' house-cleanin' he stepped down the wrong side o' thestep-ladder. She says the doctor didn't so much 's dream o' plasterin'him up, he put splints on him, 'n' he come out fine, but she says hewas suthin' jus' awful to take care of. They thought they couldn'tstand it the first weeks he was so terrible cross, but then his bonesbegin to knit, 'n' she says she hopes she may fall dead then 'n' there'f she ever hear anythin' to equal that leg-knittin'. She said theywas livin' so far out 't they could feel to leave him 'n' go to churchSunday, 'n' she says when they was comin' back they could hear himknittin' a good half-mile away. "

"Dear, dear--" commented Mrs. Lathrop, giving a heave of unrest. 

"Can you feel your leg now?" Susan inquired. 

"Yes; I--"

"Then it 's all right so far, but, my! you mus' n't begin gettin'restless this soon. You ain't been kicked six hours yet, 'n' you 'vegot to lay that same way f'r six weeks. After a while it'll be prettybad, I expeck, but you ain't got nothin' to complain of to-day. I seethe minister just after I left Mrs. Macy, 'n' he said you must say toyourself, 'Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof' 'n' get alongthe best you can. I c'd see he was some put out over your gettin' acow, f'r he c'd n't but understand 't with a cow over the fence I wasn't goin' to be takin' milk from over the crick. He said 't your bein'kicked was a judgment 'n' the sins o' the parents should be visited onthe children even unto the third 'n' fourth generation. I did n't knowwhose sins he was meanin', the cow's or Jathrop's, but I did n't ask. I guess we 'd ought to make allowances f'r the minister, --he ain'tseemed to ever be able to bear up under them twins. He was pushin' 'emin the carriage to-day 'n' drawin' little Jane after him in a expresswagon. I asked him how his wife was, 'n' he said she's doin' nicely, only she can't decide what to name the baby. He walked with me apiece; it seemed to do him good to speak out frank 'n' open, 'n' Iguess he sees more 'n' more what a mistake he's made; he couldn't butsee it, I sh'd suppose, f'r his wife 's had four children in threeyears, 'n' I didn't even adopt one. It's that four-in-three-yearsbusiness 't seems to 'a' used him up the most. He says he never evenhad a idea 't it could be done. He says his first wife was sodifferent, 'n' he says it's just been shock after shock, 'n' twoshocks when the twins come. Little Jane caught her dress in a wheelwhile we was talkin', 'n' we had to turn her 'n' the express-wagonboth upside down 't once afore we could unwind it, 'n' while we wasdoin' that, one o' the twins fell out o' the carriage. The ministersays he don't thank no man to talk race-suicide when he's aroun'; hesays his blood runs cold to think what his family 'll be at his silverweddin'. I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, I will own 't I've always felt somesore at the minister on a'count o' his not marryin' me, but 'f I everdesired any species o' revenge I certainly 'd be hard to please 'f Ididn't get it to-day when I see him with twins ahead 'n' little Janebehind 'n' nine at home. "

Mrs. Lathrop sighed. 

"That reminds me o' what I come over to ask you, " said Susan. "Haveyou had any dinner?"

"No; I--"

"Then I'll fix you some when I cook mine. I c'n call Jathrop 'n' havehim bring it over when it's ready. I see him in the yard when I comeby; he was peekin' in at the cow. I ain't never had no great opiniono' Jathrop, but I guess he c'n carry a tray. 'N' now afore I leaveyou, Mrs. Lathrop, I will say jus' once more 's my advice is f'r youto keep a sharp eye on your leg, 'n' if it feels anyway like you can'tfeel nothin' I'd have that plaster off in a jiffy. How's it put on?Round 'n' roun'?"

"He's sent for the windin', " said Mrs. Lathrop weakly; "it's jus' gotsome plaster 'n' a long piece o' tore sheet. "

Susan moved towards the door. 

"It beats me what ever made you go near the hind end o' that cow for, "she remarked, pausing on the threshold. "Don't you know as it 's thehind end 's always does the kickin'? The front end can't donothin'--'nless it gores. Does she gore?"

"Oh, I d'n' know, " wailed poor Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I 'm goin', " said Miss Clegg, turning her back as she spoke. "Youjus' lay still now 'n' think o' pleasant things. Nothin' else can'thappen to you 'nless the house catches fire. "

Then she went out and away. 

* * * * *

It was late in the afternoon that Susan entered next door on hersecond visitation of mercy. 

"Did you like your dinner?" she inquired, as she brought a rocker towhere it would command a fine view of the bed and its occupant. 

"Dinner! I ain't had no--"

Miss Clegg screamed. 

"Ain't had no dinner! Why, I give it to Jathrop with my own hands. Everythin' hot, 'n' the whole tucked up nice in the cloth 't I putover the bird-cage nights. I made the tea awful strong so 's to keepup your strength, 'n' there was a scramble o' eggs, 'n' one was fresh, I _know_. Whatever c'n he have done with it, do you suppose?"

"Maybe he ate--" Mrs. Lathrop began. 

Her friend chopped her off with a second scream. 

"Ate it!--Jathrop Lathrop!--Do you mean to tell me 't I've beenstewin' myself to feed Jathrop Lathrop! 'N' that good egg too. 'N' allmy tea. I declare, but I am aggravated. The fire 's out now 'n'everythin' 's put away or I'd go 'n' cook you suthin' else, but I'dnever trust that young man to carry it over. "

"I ain't hun--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"It's certainly your good luck 'f you ain't. But to think o' himhavin' the face to eat up your dinner! But he's got the face franythin'. 'F it wasn't f'r hurtin' your feelin's, Mrs. Lathrop, I'djus' up 'n' tell you 't, to my order o' thinkin', Jathrop always didlook more like a frog 'n he did like his own father, 'n' I'll take myBible oath 't I've told Mrs. Macy that a hunderd times. She says 't heain't active enough to remind her o' no frog, but she always owns up't his eyes 'n' mouth is like one. 'F I was talkin' to any one butyou, I'd say, spot him with green 'n' he could make you a nice livin'alongside o' the dog-faced boy in a Dime Museum, --'n' never need tomove. As a family, you ain't very lively anyhow, 'n' I ain't muchsurprised 't the cow 's gettin' out o' patience. She's been trampin'aroun' 'n' mooin' a lot this last hour. The minister was walkin' bywith six o' the childern, 'n' the childern come 'n' asked 'f theycould see the cow 't kicked you. I didn't see no good reason why not, so we boosted 'em all up so 's they'd have a good view o' her throughthe little window. The minister quoted 'Wild bulls o' Bashan' 'n''Muzzle not the ox 't treadeth out the corn, ' 'n' I felt like askin'him 'f he didn't know a cow when he see one. She looked cross enoughfor any Bible talk, though, 'n' Rachel Rebecca was awful scared 'n'they all begin to cry. I took 'em into my kitchen 'n' give 'em a cookyapiece, 'n' that smoothed 'em out. The minister was real pleased; hequoted 'Even as ye did it unto the least o' these, ye did it unto me, 'so I took the hint 'n' give him a cooky too. They was goin' up to Mrs. Brown's to tea. I must say she 's pretty good to have six o' 'em allto once. "

Mrs. Lathrop twisted wearily. 

"C'n you feel your leg?" her friend asked anxiously. 

"Yes, I c'n feel--"

"Mrs. Macy was up this afternoon. She says she 's more 'n' moreworried over you. She says it is n't as she don't wish young Dr. Brownwell, 'n' she 's intendin' to call him in sometime herself when sheknows jus' what 's the matter with her 'n' jus' what she 'd ought totake for it, but she says 't in your circumstances there ain't a miteo' doubt but what you 'd ought to have old Dr. Carter 's fast 's hecould be raked over here from Meadville. She says legs is scarcebirds, 'n' you can't go lavishin' one on every young man 's is anxiousto build up a practice on you. She says how do you know 's it 's aclean break 's you've got there anyhow? Maybe it 's a fracture. Afracture 's when the bone splinters all to pieces 'n' fans out everyway inside o' your leg. O' course young Dr. Brown ain't got beyondclean breaks yet, 'n' if you're splintered in place o' bein' clean youdon't want him to learn the difference at your cost. If you lose yourleg, Mrs. Lathrop, it certainly will be a awful thing for you. A womancan't ever say 's she was a brakeman or in the war, 'n' them 's theonly good excuses 's can be give. Then, too, if you have a wooden leg'n' the wind catches you at it, it'll take you in a way 's 'll makeyou look more like a scarecrow 'n a Christian. Mrs. Macy says 't shewas speakin' to Mr. Kimball about you, 'n' he was nigh to serious f'ronce in his life. She says he says 't they take the hair off o'horse-hides with plaster 'n' that wooden legs is very hard to getcomfortable. I s'pose the long 'n' short of it would be 't I'd have tocome over every mornin' 'n' hook it on to you, --'f it was left toJathrop he'd probably have you half o' the time with your toespointin' back 'n' your heel in front. C'n you feel it now?"

"Yes; I--"

"Then it's still there, but, Lord! how that cow does kick 'n' pull 'n'moo! Why don't Jathrop do suthin' to her? She'd ought to be tended to. When you come right square down to it, she ain't no more to blame f'rkickin' you 'n' he is f'r lookin' like a frog. They was each made so. But even then she'd ought to be milked jus' the same, 'n' Jathrop 'dought to be settin' at it. "

"I don't want--"

"It's got to be him or me or the butcher, 'n' I must say I don't seeno good 'n' sufficient reason why it should be me. I didn't haveJathrop, nor yet the cow, 'n' I don't see why I sh'd lay myself opento bein' snapped off any where, jus' because your son 's half afool--the head half. "

Mrs. Lathrop groaned. 

"Now there ain't no use in _that_" said Susan firmly; "lots o' thingsmight be worse 'n they are. She might 'a' broken both your legs, orshe may break both his when he tries to milk her to-night. You mustlook on the bright side, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' not twist aroun' like you'dbeen in bed four weeks 'n' only had two more ahead o' you. The wholesix is ahead now, 'n' instid o' wrigglin' 'n' sighin', you'd ought tothink how good it is as I'm here to take care o' you. I must say 't, to my order o' thinkin', your leg is goin' to be pretty nigh 's hardon me 's on you. 'F I can't trust Jathrop to so much 's carry a trayafter I've been to all the bother o' cookin' it, it stands to reason's I must be kitin' with 'em all day long. I'm very friendly with you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' whether single or two-legged I'd never but wish youwell; still, I _am_ a rich woman, 'n' bein' a rich woman, it does seemkind o' hard for me to have to slave back 'n' forth over the fence forsix weeks; but, such bein' the case, it strikes me 't, of us two, youcertainly ain't the one 's 'd ought to be doin' the groanin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop appeared contrite and dumb. 

"I guess I'll go 'n' get supper now, " said her visitor, rising; "whenit's got I'll bring you over some. I ain't goin' to trust Jathrop withnothin' again, I know. To think o' his eatin' your dinner! I must say, Mrs. Lathrop, 't if you was cut out to be a mother, it certainly seemsa pity 't you never got beyond Jathrop, for no one 's ever see himcould believe it of you. However, I don't suppose 's any one in theirsenses could blame you f'r stoppin' right off short when you see whatyou 'd gone 'n' done the first time. "

Mrs. Lathrop made no attempt to reply. Miss Clegg left the room, andreturned not until she came with the supper. 

"I did n't see Jathrop nowhere, " she announced as she entered, "butthe cow 's goin' on jus' awful. "

"Jathrop 's gone for the--"

"Well, I _am_ glad. The butcher 's the only one 's 'd ought to go nearher. I persume I c'd 'a' milked her, 'n' 'f she 'd been my cow I w'd'a' milked her, but bein' 's she wa'n't mine I did n't see no good 'n'sufficient reason why I sh'd so much 's take a interest in her. I willown 't I did sorter ache to see her kick Jathrop into kingdom come, but the chances are 't he'd 'a' come out alive, 'n' so it would n't'a' paid in the end. I 'll be glad to hear her stop mooin', though. Iwas sick o' the noise afore she begun, 'n' she 's kep' right on eversince. "

Mrs. Lathrop ate a little and drank a little, looking blandlynon-committal as she did so. Miss Clegg rocked vigorously. 

"I can't get that plaster out o' my head, " she continued presently. "Iwonder if it won't give you rheumatism anyhow. Deacon White gotrheumatism from movin' into a house where the plaster was damp, 'n' itstands to reason it'd be worse yet if it's tied right tight to you. Imust say 't I agree with Mrs. Macy; I think you'd ought to have oldDr. Carter. O' course it'll cost suthin' to have him over fromMeadville, but it'll cost you a sight more to have a wooden leg upfrom the city. There ain't no sense in tryin' to save money over akick, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' what's the good o' your economizin' all theseyears 'f you can't indulge yourself a little when you want to? That'swhat Mr. Shores said to me--jus' them very self-same words--when hewanted to sell me that fancy green 'n' yellow parasol 's he had up f'rEaster. I didn't want no parasol, though; it had a pointed-nose dogf'r a handle, 'n' I didn't fancy myself goin' to church hangin' on toa dog's nose, even 'f it was silver-plated. I ain't no great admirero' green 'n' yellow, neither, 'n' so I told him flat 'n' plain 't Iwa'n't through my economizin' years yet. He sold the parasol to Mrs. Jilkins, 'n' she let it down on her thumb 'n' come nigh to breakin'her thumb. She says she won't carry no parasol 's she can't shut downwithout riskin' her thumb 'n' she 's goin' to give it to her nieceover to Meadville. She says her niece is awful womans-rightsy, 'n' canswing dumb-bells 'n' look over backward 't her own heels, 'n' thatparasol 'll be nothin' but child's play to her. I ain't no sympathywith such views myself--I never was one as believed overmuch inwomans' rights. My idea is to let the men have the rights, 'n' thenthey're satisfied to let you do 's you please. 'S far 's myobserva--Lord have mercy on us!"

The cause of the abrupt termination of Miss Clegg's speech was asudden crashing back of the house, followed by a rush and a swish atthe side. The friendly visitor made one jump for the window, took onelook out, and was off and away. The door slammed before Mrs. Lathropgot her mouth open to ask what was the matter. She called, but noanswer came. Then she waited, and waited some more, and finally grewweary in her waiting and fell asleep. 

She slept long and dreamlessly. It was well after seven when the noiseof footsteps awakened her. 

It was Susan. Having left the tray behind in her mad flight of thenight before, she had come over with the teapot in one hand and aplate of toast in the other. But it was not the breakfast whichattracted Mrs. Lathrop's attention, it was the expression of herneighbor's face. Tidings of vast importance were deeply imprintedthere, and when Miss Clegg set the teapot down and said, "Well, Mrs. Lathrop!" there was that within the tone of her voice which seemed tocause the very air to quiver in anticipation. 

"Is anything the--"

"Matter?" Susan put down the toast and drew herself up to her fullheight as she spoke. "Yes, Mrs. Lathrop, a good deal is the matter. You ain't seen Jathrop, have you?"

"No; where--"

"He's gone!"

"Gone?"

"Gone. Mr. Weskin give him to understand as he'd better go somewhere'n' he got on a train 'n' did it. If he hadn't, he might 'a' beenlynched. "

"Lynched!" screamed the mother, sitting suddenly up. A direfulcracking resounded under the bed-clothes as she did so, but in theexcitement of the moment its possible evil portent went unnoticed. 

"Lynched, " repeated Susan; "that's what I said, 'n' bein' 's I wasbrought up to speak the truth 'n' fear no man, you c'n depend upon itsbein' so. But you must eat your breakfast, Mrs. Lathrop, --you mustn'tgo without eatin' or you'll lose your strength 'n' then blood poison'll set in. 'N' that reminds me 't Mr. Weskin asked me yesterday ifyou'd made your will. Have you?"

"No; but I want to know about--"

"He says you'd ought to right off. He says there 's no tellin' whereanythin' 'll end 'n' it 's wise to be prepared for the worst. He saidhe knowed a man as walked on a tack 'n' jus' called it a tack, 'n'first they had to cut off the tack 'n' then the toe 'n' then the foot, 'n' they kept on slicin' him higher 'n' higher till he died without nowill a _tall_. I said you wasn't no tack but a cow, but he said it wasall one, 'n' I guess it is 's far 's the lawyers go. I expeck it'd beonly a poor lawyer 's couldn't argue a tack into a cow--'n' out of heragain, too, f'r that matter--'n' Mr. Weskin ain't no poor--"

"But about Ja--"

"--Lawyer. He's 's fine 's they make. O' course a good deal o' thetime no one knows what he means, but that ain't nothin' ag'in' him, f'r I think with a lawyer you ginerally don't. It's a part o' theirbusiness not to let no one know what they mean, f'r 'f law was simpleno one 'd ever get fooled. "

'N' Jath--"

"He's gone. You c'n make your mind easy about him, f'r he got away allsafe. Hiram Mullins chased him clear to the station 'n' nigh tocatched him, but there was a train jus' movin' out, 'n' Jathropshinned up the little fire-escape on the back o' the calaboose 'n' wasoff. 'N' now 't he is gone, Mrs. Lathrop, I'm goin' to right out plain'n' tell you to your face 's it's a good thing f'r you 's he _is_gone, 'n' you want to thank Heaven 's sent him to you 't that trainwas so handy to take him away ag'in. "

"But what--" asked Mrs. Lathrop feebly. 

"It was the cow, " said Susan. "Don't you remember how I run lastnight? I hear a noise, 'n' my first thought was 's it was Jathrop ormebbe the butcher, but I got to the window jus' in time to see a tailmake the turn o' the gate, 'n' the seein' the tail showed right off 'sit warn't Jathrop nor yet the butcher. Seems 't Jathrop, not seein' noring to tie her to, tied her to a spoke in the hay-rack 'n' in hermooin' she broke it. Seems't then she squose out into the chicken-coop'n' then busted right through the wire nettin' 'n' set off. She runlike wild fire, they say. She headed right f'r town 'n' down the mainstreet. She come into the square lickety-split, 'n' the town committeewas in the middle of it examinin' the band-stand where Judge Fitchsays 't it shakes when he has to stamp 'n' pound in his speeches. Shecome on the committee so sudden 't they did n't even know what it was. She knocked Deacon White over on his back, 'n' threw Mr. Shores sohard ag'in' the waterin'-trough 't all his suspender tins come outbefore 'n' behind. Gran'ma Mullins was comin' across with six newteacups done up in each hand. Ed was comin' along after her with thesaucers, but she'd told Mr. Kimball right out to his face as she wouldn't trust Ed with nothin' as had handles 'n' so she'd carry them cupshome herself. The cow hit her cornering, 'n' them cups 'n' her falseteeth went all over the square. Some o' 'em hit Deacon White in theface where he lay gaspin', but the cow never stopped. She jus' flew. Mr. Fisher was hurryin' along to join the rest o' the committee 't thebandstand, 'n' he met her next. She lowered her head 'n' jus' gougedMr. Fisher's three-quarters around him 'n' tore right on. She took thecrick road, 'n' Polly Allen 'n' Sam Duruy was out walkin' 'n' see herpass. They say greased lightenin' was donkeys to the way she went. Theminister 'n' the six childern was jus' comin' home from Mrs. Brown's, 'n' the five childern at home was all come runnin' to meet them. Thecow charged right into the middle o' the bunch, 'n' the minister 'n'all them eleven childern is laid out f'r one spell. 

"Well, 'n' even _then_ she did n't stop. Seemed like ploughin' throughthe minister's family only give her fresh strength. She kept rightstraight on down the crick road, 'n' jus' by the ditch she come on Mr. 'n' Mrs. Jilkins. They was comin' up to town to spend the night withthe Whites, 'n' they had the green 'n' yellow parasol all done up tosend to Mrs. Jilkins' niece along with 'em. The cow was 's unexpectedto them as to every one else, 'n' she hit the parasol right square inthe middle. It broke, 'n' the wires all bust out 'n' punched Mr. Jilkins full o' holes afore he had time to point it at his wife. Shegot her share anyhow, though, f'r that dog's nose handle caught herright aroun' her leg 'n' throwed her head foremost into the ditch. 

"'N' the cow did n't stop then! She rushed right along, 'n' on thefirst bridge was Mrs. Macy. She was standin' wonderin' what was to payup the road, 'n' then she see it was a cow. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, youknow what Mrs. Macy is on cows. I hear her say one day as she 'drather have a mouse run up her skirts any day 'n a cow. She told me 'tshe often go 'way round by Cherry Pond sooner 'n be alone with one inthe road, 'n' such bein' the case, you can't suppose but what she wasmortal scared. Her story is 's she only had time to see its horns 'n'the wildness of its eyes afore she never _will_ know what did possessher. She never see a cow that near in all her life before, 'n' shesays 'f that 's the way they look face to, she ain't surprised 'tfolks sit a little back when milkin'. It was nigh to on to her, 'n'you know yourself 't the bridge is narrow 'n' Mrs. Macy ain't. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you c'n believe me or not jus' 's you please, 'cause it'll be Mrs. Macy 's you 'll be doubtin' anyhow, but this is what shesays happened. The bridge is _here_, you know, " Susan laid off theplan on her knee, "'n' the road is _here_. The cow was runnin' likemad along _here_, 'n' Mrs. Macy was white 'n' tremblin' so 't thewhole bridge shook under her, right atop of it. She says to her dyin'day she 'll never see how she done it, but she jus' grabbed herskirts, spread 'em out wide 'n' said 'Shoo!' 's loud 's she could. Herstory is 't the cow stopped, like she was struck dumb that second;then she reared up 's pretty a rear 's Mrs. Macy 'll ever ask to see, 'n' then she fell sideways into the mill-race. The water was on full'n' she went right down 'n' into the mill-wheel, 'n' some of hercaught in it 'n' she could n't budge. It squinched her right up, 'n'she kicked some, 'n' mooed some, 'n' bust the wheel some, 'n' died. 

"But Mrs. Macy wa'n't wastin' no time or words on the cow. She waswalkin' 's fast 's she could along to where the nearest noise wascomin' from. 

"First she found Mr. Jilkins sittin' on a stump pickin' parasol out o'himself 'n' swearin' in a way 's Mrs. Macy hopes to be sparedhereafter. While she was jus' bridge side o' him, Mrs. Jilkins comescramblin' up out o' the ditch madder 'n sixty-five hornets. Seems she'd got most to the top twice, 'n' it was so slippery 't she'd slidclean back to the bottom again. Mrs. Macy says the Lord forgive herall her sins forever 'n' ever, 'f she ever see such a sight afore. Shetried to wring her out in spots, but she was way beyond wringin'. Besides, Mrs. Macy says she ain't been a widow so long but what shesee 't a glance 't they 'd be better 'n' happier without no thirdparty by, 'n' so she left 'em 'n' went on to where the minister 'n'his family was feebly tryin' to put themselves together again. PollyAllen 'n' Sam was there helpin' 'em, 'n' Mrs. Allen was up on theporch with the minister's wife. Seems 't was her first sittin' up, 'n'they 'd got her out in a rocker to see him come home jus' in time tosee him run over. She took on awful 'cause she thought 't he waskilled, sure, 'n' then when she found 't he was n't, the shock doneher up completely. They had to put her straight back in bed, 'n' thenthey put the minister 'n his broken nose in with her 'n' went to workon the rest o' 'em. Sam Duruy got young Dr. Brown there 's quick 's hecould, 'n' young Dr. Brown took off his coat 'n' rolled up his sleeves'n' jus' went for 'em. He got the bandagin' 's was ordered for yourleg, 'n' used it right up on the minister's family. He sent for allShores' flaxseed 'n' all Kimball's cotton, 'n' then if he did n'tpitch in! I was there by that time, 'n' we set Polly to fryin'poultices, 'n' Mrs. Macy 'n' me slapped 'em on hot. Sam was sent withthe horse to get the doctor's darnin'-needles 'n' thread, 'n' youngDr. Brown told him to drive by the station 'n' tell Johnny totelegraph to Meadville f'r old Dr. Carter to come over 'n' help him 'sfast as he could. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish 't you could 'a' been there to see us. Thewater jus' streamed off Mrs. Macy 'n' me, 'n' I bet them poultices washot, for no one never asked f'r a nother o' their own free will. YoungDr. Brown soon had to take off his vest, 'n' roll up his sleevesc'nsiderably more high, 'n' I will say 't beavers was nothin' to theway he worked. When he had the last one sewed off 'n' was ready to go, he looked like there was nothin' left 's he did n't know how to do. Hebrung me home in his buggy. I know it was pretty late, 'n' I never wasno great hand to approve o' buggy-ridin' after dark, but he's married'n' I thought 's no real harm could come o' it, so I up 'n' in. Mrs. Macy said she 'd stay all night 'n' sleep with 'Liza Em'ly 'n' RachelRebecca in the little half-bed. We come up along through town, 'n' Itell you I never see the square so gay any election night 's it waslast night. Not a store was closed, 'n' Mr. Kimball was sellin'soda-water 't four cents a glass, with a small sheet o' court plasterthrowed in at that. Dr. Brown stopped to go in back o' the fountain'n' mix suthin' 't they keep there for him, 'n' it was then 's I hearabout Jathrop. 

"Seems 't along about 'n hour after the cow 'd run over everybody, Jathrop come moonin' back from where the butcher lives out Cherry Pondway. Seems 't the sight o' his calmness jus' sort o' set every one 'swasn't a wreck plum crazy. Seems 't when he asked what was up DeaconWhite shook his fist 't him 'n' said he was what 'd ought to beup--strung up, 'n' Hiram Mullins wanted to souse him in thewaterin'-trough. Seems 't Hiram was mad 'cause he paid for them teetho' Gran'ma Mullins, 'n' the teacups too. Well, it was pretty lively, 'n' the first thing any one knew Mr. Weskin drawed Jathrop off to oneside to cross-examine him a little, 'n' Hiram see him start to run f'rthe station. Hiram didn't waste no words findin' fault 't LawyerWeskin's lettin' him go, but he went after him jus' jumpin'. He didn'tcatch him, though, 'n' so that's the end o' Jathrop. "

Miss Clegg paused, and drew a long, refreshing breath. 

"I guess you've had a nice breakfast, " she said in a minute, "onlyyou'd ought to eat more. "

"I didn't feel much--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, you 'd ought to. How's your leg? C'n you feel it this mornin'?"

"Oh, yes, I c'n--"

"Then it's all right so far. But I hear last night 's you c'n feel aleg even after it 's been cut off. Mrs. Macy says she heard of a man's suffers awful yet in a leg as he lost in a planin'-mill over thirtyyears ago. "

"My Lord alive!" cried Mrs. Lathrop. 

"So you see you ain't sure whether your leg 's still there or not. However, I 've got to go, leg or no leg. I told Mrs. Macy I 'd be atthe minister's at half-past eight to boil 'em all fresh 'n' I ain'tgot more 'n time to make it easy. I 'll be home to get you somedinner. "

"I wish I knew where Ja--"

Susan stopped in the act of bending for the tray. 

"Mrs. Lathrop!--Mrs. _Lathrop!_ Do you mean to say 's you don't know ablessin' when it 's throwed right square in your face like yesterday?Jathrop 's gone, 'n' he can't never come back, 'n' if you had ten legsyou 'd ought to yield the last one o' 'em up to Heaven without amurmur out o' sheer gratitude over his bein' took. Now you lay stillthere 'n' don't even think such foolishness, or the Lord may lose hispatience like the cow did hers, 'n' after feelin' 'n' seein' 'n'hearin' what a cow c'n do, I shouldn't feel noways inclined to rousethe Lord 'f I was you. "

So saying, Susan took up her tray and left the room. 

* * * * *

The morning was very long to the broken-legged one, who found herselfquite unable to sleep under such circumstances. Her mind did notexactly race about among the startling developments of the past fewhours, but it did dwell dubiously upon the more unfortunate phases ofpast, present, and (possible) future events. 

She was glad beyond words when she heard Miss Clegg's step on thekitchen stoop about noon, and two minutes later Susan was occupyingthe rocker, and the repast which she had brought with her wasbeginning to occupy her friend. 

"It 's jus' awful 's you can't get out, " the visitor saidsympathetically; "you're missin' things 's you'll never have a chanceto see again--not 'f you live 's high 's Methusylem. The wholec'mmunity is in the square or else on the crick road. They've got theminister laid out on the sofa, like he was a president, 'n' PollyAllen 's right there every minute to open the door 'n' keep the lineamovin'! Every one wants to see the minister 'n' every one wants tosee the cow; so some goes for the minister first 'n' the cow later, 'n' others looks 't the cow first 'n' takes the minister in on the wayback. They all stop one way or the other to look down at Mrs. Jilkins'clawin's on the side o' the ditch, 'n' they say the way she dug in thetime she finally made it's almost beyond belief. The minister saysit's nothin' but a joy to him to welcome his friends. He lays there'n' quotes 'All thy waves 'n' billows went right over me, ' 'n' smilesunder his cotton, but Mr. Kimball says 'f he told the truth he'd say'Jathrop Lathrop's cow 's went right over me 'instid. 

"I must say 's the minister seems to be survivin' better 'n his wife. She says she thought 't the baby was the last straw, 'n' now here wasa cow ten thousand times worse. She says bein' resigned is all right'f you c'n be alone 'n' sit down in peace, but she'd like to know howany one c'd resign themselves to a husband 'n' twelve childern allfreshly stepped on. I told her's the new baby hadn't been touched, butshe seemed beyond payin' attention to trifles like tellin' the truth. 

"Young Dr. Brown 's awful anxious for some fresh cotton 'n' old Dr. Carter to get here from Meadville. He says he wants to dress HenryWard Beecher's ear 'f anybody c'n ever catch Henry Ward Beecher. 'LizaEm'ly 's goin' around huggin' herself 'n' groanin' to beat the band, but young Dr. Brown says he can't do nothin' for her because thereain't no way to get in behind a rib 'n' pry it out to place again. Iguess the truth o' the matter is 't he 's jus' plum tired out piecin''n' mendin'. It's been a big job sewin' up after Jathrop's cow toreround like that. They say 's he had all of a foot to over-'n'-overalong Mr. Fisher, 'n' Mr. Jilkins is jus' tufted like a sofa where hestopped up where he was skewered. Mrs. Jilkins is pretty hot yet overthe parasol's bein' bust 'cause she 'd wrote her niece 's she wasgoin' to give it to her 'n' her niece 's bought a hat with yellowbuttercups 'n' green leaves jus' to match it. But I'll tell you who'sin a sad way, --it 's poor Gran'ma Mullins. From the first second 'sthey got her right end up again she begin to ask suthin', 'n' ona'count o' her teeth bein' gone no one could make out what it was. Hiram didn't get no sleep all night with her sighin' 'n' mumblin', 'n'towards mornin' he made out 's she was wantin' to know 'f Mr. Kimball'd replace them cups 's the cow smashed. Hiram went right afterbreakfast 'n' asked, 'n' Mr. Kimball said not on Hiram's tin-type hewouldn't. He said Gran'ma Mullins was carryin' 'em herself sooner 'ntrust Ed, 'n' he wa'n't to blame f'r such wild animals 's mightnaturally fancy takin' after her. They tried to console her by lettin'her see her teeth get put in a mustard box to go to the city to bemended, but the worst of it is 's two of the teeth can't be found inthe square, 'n' Deacon White thinks he swallowed 'em when he laidthere gaspin' so wide open. He says he never knowed such queerfeelin's 's he had las' night. Mrs. Fisher was there, 'n' she said 'fDeacon White was bothered 's to how to act with them teeth he onlyneeded to go 'n' consult Mr. Fisher 'cause there 's nothin' in thewide world 's Mr. Fisher ain't sure 't he knows more about 'n any oneelse. She says Mr. Fisher ain't a bit suited 't the way young Dr. Brown brought his edges together, 'n' she says he says 't jus' as soon's he ain't so stiff 'n' sore about leanin' over he 's goin' to takeall them stitches out 'n' sew himself up the way 't he 'd ought to besewed. "

Mrs. Lathrop turned a little in bed. Again the cracking noise might beheard, but neither one of the friends had mental leisure to notice it. 

"Mr. Weskin stopped me on my way home, " Susan continued, "'n' asked mewhat steps you was intendin' to take in regard to the lawsuits fordamages--"

"Damages!" cried Mrs. Lathrop in great fright. 

"Yes, your cow's damages. "

"_My_ cow! I did n't have nothin' to do with her except get kickedby--"

"I know, but Mr. Weskin explained all that to me. Jathrop 's gonenobody knows where, 'n' so you come next. 'F he's proved dead leavin'property it 'd be yours, 'n' if he leaves damage-suits you inherit 'emjus' the same. "

"My heavens!"

"Mr. Weskin says that's how it is, 'n' he mus' know. I 've always hada great respeck for what Mr. Weskin knows ever since he went intocourt 'n' proved 's the mill 's the other side o' the crick from whereit is, jus' by havin' Hiram Mullins 'n' Sam Duruy stand up 'n' swearthe mill-race run 'round behind it. I never could see how he done it, but I never felt to blame myself none f'r that, 'cause it takesanother lawyer to see what a lawyer 's doin' anyhow. When a lawyersays anythin' 's so to me, I never take no time to disbelieve him'cause 'f he wa'n't able to prove the truth o' his own lyin' he 'dnever get to be in the law a _tall_. On the other hand, though, Idon't trust him none, even if I ain't a mite o' doubt as to what hesays. Believin' is cheap, you c'n believe the whole Bible 'n' it won'tcost a cent 'n' is suthin' to your credit; but trustin' live folks isalways expensive. 'F Lawyer Weskin says 's you c'n be sued, you 'repretty safe to feel it's so--the more so 's it was him 's sentJathrop off so slick. But I ain't so sure 't I 'd sit down 'n' let himsue me 'f I was you. He c'n sue, from now on, but it's for you toc'nsider whether he gets anythin' but fun out o' it or not. 'F you 'rewillin' to be sued, it's ownin' you know you 've done suthin', 'n' youain't done nothin'--it was the cow's did it to you. There ain'tnothin' to be gained f'r even the wicked by ownin' up to bein' wickedin court, 'n' they often get off by ownin' up to bein' innocent. Youcan't never lose nothin' by swearin' 's it wa'n't you, 'n' 's far asmy observation 's extended, a person 's starts out by tryin' to behonest 'n' sayin', 'Yes, I done it, ' soon finds themselves with thewhole neighborhood laid at their door 'n' never no thanks for it, neither. 

"Mr. Weskin says 't Deacon White says 't some one 's got to pay himf'r happenin' to swallow Gran'ma Mullins' teeth when he wa'n'tthinkin'. Well, 'f he's got a right to anythin', pretty nigh all thec'mmunity 's got a equal right. There 's Mr. Fisher with a slice outo' his side, 'n' them nine teacups o' Gran'ma Mullins'. There 's Mr. Jilkins goin' to set a price for every parasol punch he got, 'n' Mrs. Jilkins goin' to want a new parasol. 

"'N' then it 'd be jus' like young Dr. Brown to perk up 'n' send you abill, instid o' bein' everlastin'ly grateful for all the teachin' heowes straight to you. He's had a chance to perform 'most every kind o'operation 'n' to use up the last drop o' all his old liniments jus' asa result o' that one cow. Then too he's had a chance to call old Dr. Carter over in consultation, 'n' in the ordinary run o' things hecould n't o' 'xpected to have nothin' to consult about f'r years 'n'years. He's a made young man 'n' all in one night, jus' owin' to you, 'n' the last time he whipped his horse through the square to-day, Mr. Kimball said he looked so busy 't he supposed they 'd elect him ournext mayor. 

"You was n't responsible f'r the cow's gettin', 'n' Jathrop was. It'sJathrop 's is to blame, 'n' if any one's to be sued it 'd ought to behim, 'n' he ain't got no property but the cow, 'n' she's hung up dead'n' her own damage, so it's no use sum' him f'r anythin'. Folks 'sain't got nothin' don't never have any law troubles, 'n' Jathrop isgone off 'n' so he 's specially handy to blame for everythin'. 'S far's my observation 's 'xtended, it 's always folks a long ways off 'sit's wisest to lay all the faults to, 'n' 'f I was you--"

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes suddenly started out of her head. 

"I can't feel my leg!" she cried. 

Susan sprang to her feet. 

"It's the plaster!" she exclaimed; then, starting towards the door, "I'll run 'n' get the axe 'n' hack you right out. "

"No--no, " screamed Mrs. Lathrop, "not the axe. "

"Then I 'll bring up the teakettle 'n' pour boilin' water on it tillit softens 'n' comes off. "

"No, I don't want--"

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, "--Susan looked her disapproval, --"seems to me you're jus' a little fussy. I must say if you ain't willin' to have itbroke off or soaked off, I can't well see how it's goin' to be gotoff. "

Mrs. Lathrop bunched herself somewhat, and a grating and powderingnoise resulted. 

"I drew it right up!" she cried joyfully. 

Susan's expression became enigmatic. 

Mrs. Lathrop manoeuvred further. 

"I straightened it out!" she announced further. 

Miss Clegg approached the bed. 

"I don't believe 's it was ever broke, " she said in deep disgust. 

"Dr. Brown said he wa'n't sure, " the invalid continued, elongating andcontracting herself, caterpillar-like, ' "he said 's he 'd wait thewindin'--"

"Mrs. Lathrop, " said Susan suddenly, "I 've jus' thought! It's thisafternoon 's the butcher 'n' the man 's mends church spires 's comin'together to get the cow out o' the mill-wheel. The whole c'mmunity 'sgoin' down to look on, 'n' I can't see no good 'n' s'fficient reasonwhy you should n't go too. I 'll help you dress, 'n' we 'll scurryalong right now. 'F we meet Mr. Weskin 'n' he says lawsuit to you, youjus' up 'n' tell him 's you 're goin' to sue him for throwin' you headforemost into a fever on a'count o' not knowin' where your only son 'sbeen gone all night, 'n' 'f young Dr. Brown _ever_ has the face to somuch 's hint at a bill, you jus' out 'n' ask him 'f he knows a wholeleg when he sees one, 'n' if he don't answer, say 't you 've got twoin spite o' his plaster. There's always a way out o' anythin' 'f aperson only don't try to think it out, but jus' speaks up sharp 'n'decided. Come on 'n' get up now, 'n' I 'll help you hurry, 'n' yourleg won't miss nothin' after all. "

Mrs. Lathrop got out of bed at once. 

IV

SUSAN CLEGG'S COUSIN MARION

Mrs. Lathrop was of a placid disposition, and not inclined towardseven that species of mental activity which a more than usual amount ofastonishment demands. Therefore when she saw Susan going out one veryrainy day she merely wondered where her energetic neighbor was going, and when, an hour later, she observed the same lady returning, shecontinued her usual trend of thought by the mildest possible furtherdevelopment of a species of curiosity as to where she had been. 

Miss Clegg perceived the interested gaze directed towards her out ofthe kitchen window and decided to go in next door for a little visit. To that end she passed her own gate, entered Mrs. Lathrop's, proceededup the front walk, stacked her dripping umbrella against one of thepiazza posts, carefully disposed her rubbers beside the umbrella, andthen entered the house. 

She found Mrs. Lathrop seated in the kitchen. 

"Why, " said that lady, "I thought you was gone on up to see--"

"No, " said the visitor, "I was to see her last week and I sha'n't goagain for one while. Mrs. Brown 'n' me has been friends 'n' goodfriends for too many years to break off sudden, but still I never'xpected 's she'd be one to try a new receipt on me 'n' never give memy choice's to whether I'd risk it or not until a good fifteen minutesafter I'd swallowed the last bite. I can't feel anythin' but bitterstill when I think of yesterday 'n' last night. I was sittin' there 'sinnocent 's a mule eatin' thistles, 'n' all of a sudden I felt to say, 'Mrs. Brown, did you put bakin' powder or yeast in that cake?' It wasthen 's she told me 't she'd up 'n' made it with suthin' 's a peddlerthrowed in at the door. 'Where's the label?' I says, puttin' my handto where I felt the most need o' knowin' what in creation to come Ihad got in me. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f she hadn't burned up the label;so there was nothin' f'r me to do but go home 'n' come nigh to dyin'of I did n't know what. I 've got a book, 'The Handy Family Friend, ''s tells what you 'd ought to take after you 've took anythin', 'n' Iread it 'way through to see 'f there was any rule f'r when you don'tknow what you 've took, but there wa'n't no directions, 'n' so I jus'calmly spent the night hoppin' about like mad, 'n' I 'm free toconfess 't there'll be a coolness in my feelin's towards Mrs. Brownhenceforth. I ain't said nothin' direct to her herself, but I spoke myfull mind to Mrs. Macy, 'n' Mrs. Macy give me to understand 's sheshould let Mrs. Brown know my sufferin's, 'n' I mentioned to Mr. Kimball 's I felt some hurt over bein' pierced to the core with cake's nobody knowed what had raised it, 'n', although he laughed 'n' saidmebbe Cain raised it, still I feel he 's safe to tell every one intown. I want 's every one sh'd know it. I consider 't when a womangoes to see another woman she 's unsuspectin' o' any new species o'cake-raisin', 'n' 'f there is any new species in the wind my view o'the matter is 's it 'd ought to be tried on somebody else 'n' not onme. "

Miss Clegg stopped and shook her head hard. 

"Where have you--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Oh, that reminds me, " said the caller with a sudden start. She pauseda second, as if to gather force for the proper delivery of her nextspeech; a wondrous glow of unconscious but exalted triumph rose to hervisage. "I went, " she announced, her voice high-keyed with confidenceas to what was about to fall upon the totally unprepared placidity ofthe unsuspecting Mrs. Lathrop, --"I went to post a letter to CousinMarion!"

Mrs. Lathrop's jaw dropped. A sudden and complete paralysis of all herfaculties seemed to be the immediate effect of her friend's astoundingcommunication. 

For a full half-minute there was silence in the kitchen while Susanrocked and enjoyed the sight of the havoc wrought by her speech. 

But at last Mrs. Lathrop gathered some fragments out of the wreck ofher sensibilities and said feebly, --

"Why, Susan, I never hear as you had one single--"

"Nor me, neither, " said the caller, --and then the sluice-gates opened, and the stream swept through and madly on again, --"nor me, neither, Mrs. Lathrop. I never even dreamed o' any such goin's on, 'n' I c'nassure you 's the shock 's come 's heavy on me 's on you. I went upgarret this mornin' 's innocent 's a babe whose mother 's yet unborn, 'n' there I found her. "

"In the garret!" cried Mrs. Lathrop. 

Miss Clegg drew a long breath. 

"In a trunk. 'N' jus' 's unexpected 's the comin' o' Judgment Day. Mrs. Lathrop, you c'n believe me or not jus' 's you please, but I giveyou my Gospel word of honor as when I turned down the flap o' a trunk'n' see that old mousey letter stuck in it cornerways, I no morethought o' findin' a cousin than I did o' findin' a moth, 'n' _you_know how scarce moths is with me; I ain't so much 's seen one 'xcepton your side o' the house in twenty years, I do believe. 'N' I couldn't in conscience say 's I was pleased when I did see the letter, f'rI thought's like 's not it was a bill, 'n' anyhow I wa'n't inclined tobe over-pleased at anythin' this mornin'--I persume you saw how theminister come in on me?"

"Yes, " said Mrs. Lathrop, "I see him. What--"

"Wanted to name the baby after me, 'n' I call it a pretty time to comenamin' a baby when a woman has got one leg on a ladder 'n' her headtied up for bats. I thought he was the tin-peddler from Meadville, 'n'I run f'r my rag-bag, 'n' then there it was only the minister afterall! Well, I was n't pleased a _tall_, 'n' I did n't ask him in, neither. I stood fair 'n' square in the doorway, 'n' 'f he was'xpectin' to see me look happy over havin' a compliment paid me, 'twas one more time 's he did n't get what he 'xpected. That was what hecalled it, --'payin' me a compliment, '--'n' I mus' say 's it struck me's pretty high-flown language f'r jus' simply wantin' to name athirteenth baby after the richest woman in the c'mmunity. Seems to methirteen was a good many to wait afore thinkin' o' me anyhow, 'n' Iain't noways sure 's I want a thirteenth baby named after me anyway. Inever was foolish like some folks, 'n' you know _that_ 's well 's Ido, Mrs. Lathrop, but still you know, too, 's it's never nothin' butsafe to keep away fr'm the under side o' ladders 'n' the numberthirteen. I 've heard Gran'ma Mullins tell a dozen times 's how 'f she'd never 'a' gone picnickin' on twice thirteen--that's twenty-six--o'July she 'd never 'a' met her husband, 'n' might o' married DeaconWhite. They was both after her, 'n' she picked out the wrong one, 'n'first he went to the war 'n' then he went to the dogs, 'n' now thereshe is in a four-room cottage 'n' Deacon White's wife orderin' apatent ice-box out o' a catalogue 'n' him never sayin' a word. She c'd'a' took a world o' comfort with his daughter, 'n' I don't believe shetakes none to speak o' with Hiram, 'n' anyway I was clean put out withthe minister afore I even see him, f'r I can't abide that way he 'n'his wife's both got o' talkin' 'n' talkin' 'n' never gettin' aroun' tosayin' what they set out to. I like folks 's is right quick 'n' sharp, 'n' these roamin', meanderin' kind o' everlastin' talkers ain't myidea a _tall_. 'N' I 'm free to confess 's I did get some temperedto-day standin' there listenin' to what did n't interest me no more 'na pussy-willow, 'n' me wild to be rootin' up garret all the time. 

"O' course he had to tell me all about the baby, 'n' how FeliciaHemans is jus' come to the silly readin' age 'n' 's wild to name itBrunhilde. Seems 's Felicia Hemans is out for Brunhilde 'n' theminister's out f'r me. I never hear o' no Brunhilde, 'n' I up 'n' toldthe minister so to his face. 'Who is she anyhow?' I says, flat 'n'plain, for Lord knows 'f he'd found a rich relation I wanted my oldflannels for cleanin' cloths hereafter. But he 'xplained 's FeliciaHemans got Brunhilde out o' a book--the Nibble suthin' 'r other. 'Oh, well, ' I says, 'if you c'n be suited with namin' your family afterrats 'n' mice I guess you c'n leave me out, ' I says, 'n' I kind o'backed off so 's to try 'n' set him a-goin', but he stood still, 'n'o' course no true Christian c'n shut her door in her minister'sface--even 'f she _is_ stark crazy to get to cleanin' her garret. 'Whydon't you name her Minnie after yourself?' I says (Minister, youknow), but I c'd see 't he didn't take to that a _tall_. 'Oh, well, ' Isays then, feelin' 't I must get rid o' him somehow, 'name her afterme 'f you want to 'n' I'll give her--''n' I was jus' goin' to say 'myblessin', ' 'n' such a look come over his face 'n'--well, Mrs. Lathrop, maybe I 'm too tender-hearted f'r my own good, but I jus' had thefeelin' 't I c'd 's easy pull the legs off o' a live fly 's todisapp'int that face, 'n' so I says 'a dollar' right off quick beforeI really thought. 'N' what do you think?--what _do_ you think? 'F you'll believe me he did n't look overly pleased, 'n' at that I _did_warm up a little. You don't 'xpect much of a minister, 'n' I think asa general rule 't we 're pretty patient with ours, but you _do_ 'xpectgratitude, 'n' a dollar's a dollar, 'n' considerin' the garret intothe bargain, I felt my temper comin' pretty high, 'n' I jus' out withwhat I 'd been thinkin' all along 'n' I spoke the truth flat 'n' plainright to his face. 'I d'n' know, ' I says, 'why I sh'd be 'xpected togive your baby more 'n a dollar. She ain't _my_ baby, 'n' you know 'swell 's I do where the blame f'r _that_ lies, ' 'n' then I banged thedoor in his face. Maybe it was n't jus' the proper thing to do, but 'fever a woman had no need for a minister it was me this mornin'. "

Susan paused, and Mrs. Lathrop seized the chance to interpose aquestion. 

"'N' about your cousin--"

But Miss Clegg was already started again. 

"I do get so aggravated when I think about the minister, " she went on. "I was sayin' to Mrs. Macy yesterday 's it does seem 's 'f I haveharder work keepin' on smilin' terms with my own minister 'n' even aJob might in reason look for. I would n't be no woman 'f I had n'tshown some feelin' over the way 't he went about town tellin' right'n' left how nice them stockin's o' mine fit him after they shrunk toosmall f'r me, 'n' yet I ain't a mite o' doubt but what, a'cordin' tothe Bible, I 'd ought to 'a' forgive him 'n' turned the other cheekinto the bargain. Mrs. Craig says 's Mr. Kimball ain't mincin' mattersnone, but is jus' statin' all over 's it's all on a'count o' my havin'bought the wool o' Shores; she says 't he says 't if I 'd bought it o'him I 'd be wearin' all four pair this very day. She says 's Mrs. Fisher says 's he told her 't, seein' things is 's they is, he'slookin' to see them stockin's keep right on shrinkin' down through theminister's family until they end up 's socks on the thirteenth baby. Ajoke's a joke, 'n' I c'n see the p'int o' a good joke 's quick 's anyone, but I mus' say I fail to see any fun in such a remark. 'S far 'smy observation's 'xtended, there ain't nothin' ladylike in theminister's wearin' my stockin's, nor yet in Mr. Kimball's entertainin'the whole c'mmunity with 'em. A'cordin' to my manner o' thinkin', awoman as 'll give away four pair o' brand-new hand-knit stockin's forno better reason 'n 't the heels shrunk down under her instep, isdoin' a deed o' Christian charity instead o' layin' herself open toall manner o' fun-makin'. 'N' I ain't the only one 's views the thingso serious, either, for Mr. Shores feels jus' 's bad 's I do about it. He come runnin' to catch me the other day, 'n' asked me 'f I had n'tmebbe used cold water for the first washin'. I did n't feel to thankhim none f'r his interest afore he opened his mouth, but I c'n assureyou, Mrs. Lathrop, 't after he'd spoke I jus' stood thereplum-petrified 'n' stock-starin' f'r 's much 's a minute afore I c'dget voice to ask who give _him_ the authority to teach me how to washmy own stockin's. 'N' then, when I _did_ speak, I made no bones 's tosayin' jus' what I thought. I never was one to give my opinion o'anythin' or anybody aroun' free, but I certainly did feel to be openat Mr. Shores. I told him 's shrunk stockin's to my order o' thinkin'was a species o' spilt milk 's knowed no turnin', 'n' I further toldhim 't I 'd take it 's a great kindness 'f he 'n' the rest o' the townwould shut their mouths right up tight on my stockin's. I says to him, I says, 'Mr. Shores, when your wife eloped I was one o' the few--the_very_ few--'s blamed _her_, 'n' I beg 'n' pray 't the quality o' yourwool won't force me to change my mind. Your clerk 't she eloped with, 'I says, 'once give me a nickel three cent piece in place of a dime, ' Isays, ''n' up to the first washin' o' them stockin's I never so much's breathed a suspicion of your mebbe dividin' that seven cents withhim. But I ain't so sure now, ' I says, ''n' I ain't prepared to saywhat I 'll think from now on, ' 'n' then I walked off, leavin' him good'n' meek, I c'n assure you; 'n' the come-out o' that little game is asmy trade, which ranged fr'm ten to fifty cents a week 'n' _always_cash, is lost to him forever hereafter. "

Mrs. Lathrop was fairly choking with impatience. 

"'N' your cousin--" she interjected quickly, as Susan halted for aslight rest. 

"Yes, " said that lady, with a certain chilling air of having up to nowsuffered from inexcusable neglect on the part of her friend, "I wasthinkin' 's it was about time 't you begin to show _some_ interest inwhat I come over to tell you--'n' me here for the best part o' a goodhalf-hour already. Well, 'n' my cousin! She come out o' a letter, Mrs. Lathrop, a old torn letter 's you or any other ordinary person wouldprobably 'a' throwed away without even readin'. But I was never one todo things slipshod, 'n' I read every scrap 's I 've got time to piecetogether, so it was nothin' but natural 's I sh'd quit work 's soon 'sI see Cousin Marion's letter 'n' sit right down to read it. 'N' it'sgood as I did too, for 'f I 'd been careless 'n' burned my rubbishunread, Cousin Marion 'd certainly 'a' burnt with the other scraps, 'n' as a consequence I'd 'a' missed about the happiest minutes 's I've knowed since father died. You c'n believe me or not, jus' 's youplease, Mrs. Lathrop, but I cried over that letter; 'n' if some wasthe dust in my nose, the rest was real affection, for, Lord knows, when you 're scratchin' out mice 'n' cobwebs you ain't lookin' to finda relation none. But anyhow, there she was, 'n' if she ain't died inthe mean time--f'r the letter was wrote over fifty years ago--I mayknow suthin' o' family life yet. It was the beautifullest letter 't Iever read. You c'd n't imagine nothin' more beautiful. I'm afraid 'smebbe mother 'n' me misjudged father, owin' to the everlastin' up 'n'down stairs, 'n' mother used to say right out 't it was a neck to necktie 's to which he stuck closest to, his bed or his money. But hewasn't always like that, 'n' this letter proves it, for Heaven knowswhat he must 'a' give Cousin Marion to 'a' ever brought her to writehim such words 's them. Not to deceive you, Mrs. Lathrop, the letterwas that grateful that I was more 'n a little bothered over it. It isn't very likely 's you sh'd be able to understan' my feelin's to theirfull, 'n' yet you c'n mebbe guess 's it ain't altogether a agreeablething to suddenly find out 't your own native flesh 'n' blood father'sgot distant relations callin' down daily blessin's on him f'r hisoverwhelmin' generosity. That's what she said in the letter, 'n' Ican't deny 's the words sent a cold chill runnin' down my backbone 'sI read 'em. 

"The whole letter was writ in the same style, 'n' it didn't take longf'r me to see right straight through it, 'n' hatch more 'n a suspicion't the reason 't I never hear o' Cousin Marion afore was 'cause shewas head over heels in love with father. It was real touchin' too tothink how near her letter came to bein' one o' mother's, 'n' in theend I jus' sneezed till I cried, for, to my shame be it said, Mrs. Lathrop, 't the dust was 's thick in my garret this day 's it is inyour parlor the year aroun'. "

Susan paused to shake her head and use her pocket-handkerchief overher souvenirs in general. Mrs. Lathrop sat dumb and attentive. 

"Marion Prim was her name, " the narrator continued presently, "'n' shewrit it from Knoxville fifty-one years ago come last October. Did_you_ ever hear of her?"

Mrs. Lathrop screwed her face up thoughtfully, but was forced to screwit into a negation after all. 

"Seems funny 't father never spoke o' her after mother was so far pastbein' jealous 's to be buried. He c'd 'a' said anythin' about anybodythem years, 'n' 'f I had time to listen I'd 'a' been bound to hear, but to my certain knowledge he never said one word o' family 'xcept toremark over 'n' over 's he thanked the Lord Almighty 's he had n't gotnone, which words I naturally took 's signifyin' 's he was speakin'the truth. Still a man is a man, 'n' this letter proves 's you can'teven be sure o' one 's has been in bed under your own eye f'r twentyyears, f'r it not only shows 's he did have a relation, but it showssuthin' else too; it shows me, 's has had four men all tryin' to marryme inside o' the same week, 't suthin' pretty close to love-makin' 'dpassed between her 's wrote this letter 'n' him 's kept it carefullyhid away till long after he was dead. There's a shakiness about thewritin' 'n' a down-hilledness about the lines 's lets me right intothe secret o' their hearts, 'n' I'm willin' to venture a guess 'tCousin Marion c'd get money out o' father with less pain 'n mothercould, under which circumstances I don't blame mother for closin' downon the subjeck. 

"The more I consider that letter up 'n' down 'n' hind end to, Mrs. Lathrop, the plainer I see 's Cousin Marion must 'a' been a sore 'n'abidin' thorn inside o' father 'n' mother. Perhaps it was that as givehim the paralysis! The doctor said 's it was suthin' obscure, 'n' 'fsuthin' 's ain't found out till years after you 're dead ain't obscureI don't know what is. Anyway I 've took my stand 'n' it was the onlysensible one to take. This 's the first chance I 've ever had in allmy life to get a nice change without payin' board, 'n' so I jus' satright down 'n' wrote to Cousin Marion 't 'f it was convenient to her I'd come to Knoxville 'n' spend next Sunday. She 's bound to be pleased't bein' remembered after fifty years, 'n' I 've got father's nose, 'n' that 'll help some, o' course. She can't be worse 'n dead, 'n' 'fshe's dead 'n' don't answer I sha'n't never give the subjeck anotherthought, f'r I naturally ain't got very fond o' her jus' from findin'her musty old letter stuck in behind the flap of a trunk 's I 've beenachin' to hack to pieces these last twenty years. I never went up inmy garret without I skinned myself somewhere on that trunk, 'n' youknow how often I go up garret, Mrs. Lathrop, so it goes without sayin''s I 've been considerably skinned first 'n' last. But 'f she sh'd bealive 'n' I sh'd get to go there, the Lord knows I certainly shallrejoice to have some o' my own to talk to, f'r blood is thicker 'nwater, 'n' although I don't want to hurt your feelin's, Mrs. Lathrop, still you can't in conscience deny 's you ain't no conversationalist. Nobody is that I know hereabouts, neither. The minister talks some, but I 'm always thinkin' how much more I want to tell him things 'n Iever want to hear what he has to say, so I can't in truth feel 's histalkin' gives me much pleasure. Mrs. Macy 's great on gaspin', but shedon't as a general thing get very far, 'n' so the long 'n' short o'the whole thing is 't if Cousin Marion ain't a change f'r the bettershe can't noways be a change f'r the worst, 'n' so I 've made up mymind to sail right in 'n' risk her. 

"I 've thought 's it 'll be a nice idea to take her father's cane fora present; it 'll surely come very handy to her, --'f she 's alive a_tall_, --'n' since Mr. Kimball over-persuaded me into buyin' one o'them patent carpet-beaters, it ain't no manner o' service to me. Not's I ain't sure 't I don't really prefer the cane to the patent, but I've paid for the new thing 'n' I ain't goin' to go to work to makemyself feel 's I 've wasted my money. The carpet-beater ain 't up toMr. Kimball's talk by long odds, 'n' so far from turnin' into aegg-beater in the wink of your eye like he promised, you 've got togrip it fast between your knees 'n' get your back ag'in a flour-bin toturn it into anythin' a _tall_. 'N' then when it does turn, so farfrom bein' a joy it lets up so quick 't you find yourself mostanywhere. Mrs. Craig was gettin' her brace ag'in the hen-house, 'n'when it let up she sat down so sudden 't she smashed the henhouse 'n'a whole settin' o' duck-eggs not to speak of the hen between. Mrs. Macy says 't seein' 's she has more eggs 'n carpets, she jus' beatsher carpets with the egg end 'n' don't fuss to change ever. Mrs. Fisher says what puts her out is 't the ring 's you slide up to closethe whisks for killin' flies won't stay up, 'n the flies don't getkilled but jus' get hit so they buzz without stoppin' from then on. Mrs. Jilkins says right out 's she considers the whole thing aswindle, 'n' 'f Mr. Kimball was n't rentin' his store o' her brothershe sh'd tell him so to his face. She says the three-inch measure onthe handle 's too short to be o' any real service on a farm, 'n' heropinion is 't Mr. Kimball keeps his sample dipped in kerosene or henever could snap it in 'n' out so quick. Anyhow it all comes in theend to the fact 't, havin' bought it, I 'll work it 'f I die f'r it, 'n' so Cousin Marion c'n have the cane, 'n' may she be everlastin'lyhappy usin' it. I did n't get my trunk down 'cause I 'll have Fridayto pack anyhow, 'n' any one c'n slide a trunk down a ladder any time, but nobody can't never slide nothin' up nowhere. Besides, I sh'd looklike a fool puttin' back a trunk 't I 'd hauled out to visit a cousinwho like enough died afore I was born, 'n' I ain't no fool, --never was'n' never will be. "

There was a short stop for a fresh supply of breath. 

"I wonder 'f--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"The difficulty o' all things in this world, " Miss Clegg went onpromptly, "is 't if you have any brains a _tall_ you 're bound to haveso much work for 'em. Now, this findin' o' Cousin Marion no doubtlooks simple enough to you 'n' the world in general, 'n' yet the moreI turn her up 'n' down 'n' inside out the more new lights I get. Whenyou come to consider 't I only found the letter this mornin', 'n' thatit ain't supper-time yet, you c'n easy see 's my day's been more 'nfull o' brain-work. Comin' up the street this afternoon, the questiono' the possibility o' Cousin Marion's bein' poor come into my mind. Ic'n speak out freely to you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' so I will remark 't Ic'n guarantee 's father never give her nothin' o' late years, 'n' 'fshe's poor it don't take no eagle eye to know jus' what'll happen whenshe gets my letter. 'F the letter hadn't been posted 'n' the sack goneto the train afore I thought o' this view o' the matter, I'm free toconfess 's I never would 'a' posted it a _tall_. For there's no usedenyin', Mrs. Lathrop, 't, 'f my visit to Cousin Marion sh'd lead toher askin' to borrow 's much 's a quarter, I sh'll bitterly regretever havin' clawed her out from back o' that trunk-flap. There ain'tno possible good 's c'n ever come o' lendin' money to them's ain'table to pay it back, 'n' I learned that lesson to my bitter cost once'n' for all time when I had that little business with Sam Duruy. Thattook all the likin' to lend out o' me, 'n' Heaven help me 'f I everforget it. I thought I was so safe, Mrs. Lathrop, --I looked in allfour o' his hoofs, 'n' swished my handkerchief in each o' his eyes, 'n' he was certainly lively, so I planked down my little five dollars'n' Sam was to keep on drivin' the horse. Well, you know 's well 's Ido what happened, 'n' the skin brought seventy-five cents. Sam suedthe railroad, 'n' the railroad asked why he did n't read the 'Look outfor the Locomotive. ' I told him to go into court 'n' swear 's he couldn't read, but he said Judge Fitch used to be his school-teacher 'n'knowed 's he could. 'N' then I offered to go to court myself 'n' swearon the Bible 's the whole town looked on him 's more 'n half a idiot, 'n' Mr. Duruy jus' sat right flat down on the whole thing. So they didn't even pay his lawyer, 'n' it goes without sayin' 't o' course hecould n't pay me; 'n' then, do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f he did n'thave the impudence this very afternoon to stop me down in the square'n' ask me 'f I would n't lend him ten cents on a rooster! I waspretty nigh to put out over that, I c'n assure you. I mus' 'a' staredat him f'r 's much 's ten seconds afore I sensed 't he was really foolenough to think 't mebbe I was fool enough too. 'N' then I let out athim. 'Not while I have the breath o' life in my body, ' I says, --'n' itshook 's I said it, --'not 'f I know my own mind. What's to guaranteeme, ' I says, ''s your rooster won't take it into his head to goa-promenadin' on the railway track?' I says. He begin to tell 's how, even dead, the rooster was worth more 'n ten cents. 'I d'n' know aboutthat, ' I says, 'it don't strike me 's noways likely 't when hesuddenly observes the engine 'most on top o' him, he's goin' to takethe time 'n' trouble to lay his head square 'n' even across the rail, 'n' you know 's well 's I do 't no rooster killed cornerways ain'tnever goin' to bring no nickel apiece for his corners. No, Mister SamDuruy, ' I says, 'your lively horse's taught me a lesson, ' I says, ''n'hereafter I don't lend no money on so much 's a egg without I see agood curb-bit bought 'n' put in its mouth first, ' I says; 'n' then Iwalked off, 'n' the end o' it all is 't if Cousin Marion's poor Icertainly ain't very wild to have her find out 's I'm rich. 

"But then, I ain't very anxious to have her rich either, I must say, for it don't take no blind man to figger out 't if she 's rich themoney 'd ought to 'a' been mine. 'N' that 's a awful feelin', Mrs. Lathrop, --the feelin' 's other folks 's rich on money 's 'd ought to'a' been yours. I ain't sure 's I want to know Cousin Marion 'f such's the facts o' her case, 'n' 's between her bein' poor 'n' wantin'money o' me, 'n' her bein' rich on money right out o' my pocket, Ifeel like I mebbe clum that ladder this mornin' in a evil hour f'r myfuture peace o' mind. 

"'N' then, too, 'f she 's rich I certainly can't go to see her withoutI buy me a new bonnet. 'F she 's rich, o' course I want her to seeright off 's I 'm rich too, 'n' bein' 's we 're old friends 'n' alonehere together, I c'n truthfully state 's she could n't in reasonmistrust no such thing from my bonnet. It 's a good bonnet, 'n' it'sbeen a good bonnet year in 'n' year out 'n' in rain 'n' shine turn an'turn about, but I never was give to deceivin' myself no more nor aoutsider, 'n' so I will frankly say 't it 's long past its firstshininess. Miss White 's freshened it up two times for me, 'n' Ialways have new ribbons to tie it every other Easter, but still, inthe box or out o' the box, its day is past for lookin' brand-new, 'n'I don't deny the truth 's a more foolish woman might feel someinclined to do. So, such bein' the case, Cousin Marion 'n' a newbonnet comes to one 'n' the same thing, 'n' I can't say 'sbonnet-buyin' 's a way o' spendin' money 's is over-agreeable to me. However, 'f it is to be it is to be, 'n' I sha'n't cry over nothin'. I'll buy the bonnet, 'n' I guess 'f she talks to me about her money Ic'n come out right quick 'n' sharp 'n' talk about mine. 'N' I guess Ic'n talk her down--I 'll try good 'n' hard, I know _that_. 'N' 'f shesh'd put me beyond all patience, I 'll jus' make no bones about it, but get right up 'n' smash her flat with her own letter o' fifty yearsago. I don't believe nobody c'd put on airs in the face o' their ownname signed to bein' saved from want by the kind, graspin' hand o' mydead 'n' gone father. "

Susan ceased speaking, and rose suddenly to her feet. 

"I must go, " she said; "it's time I was seein' about supper, 'n' it'sbeen a hard day first 'n' last. It's been 'xcitin', 'n' I cleaned thegarret too, 'n' then my mind 's all upset 's to travelling 'n' I'vegot to consider a lot afore I c'n decide 's to anythin'. 'N' I onlyfeel plum sure o' one thing, 'n' that is 's I don't want to buy no newbonnet. Bonnets is a awful waste o' money, 'n' I've got nothin' insideo' me 's cries out to extravagance. But speakin' o' waste reminds meover again 's I don't want to throw no more time away on you, so, 'sI'm always frank 'n' open, I'll jus' say so 'n' go now. "

* * * * *

The letter which Susan Clegg had mailed to her cousin "Marion Prim, Knoxville, " did actually reach the hands of the person for whom it wasintended, and the evening of the second day after brought an answerwhich the two friends studied together in a mutual intellectualdarkness. 

"Says she's lived for fifty years on the motto, 'S'fficient unto theday 's the evil thereof, ' 'n' now my letter's come, "--it was thus thatSusan voiced her understanding of the matter, --"says I c'n come 'f Iwant to, 'n' mebbe it'll be some consolation! I don't call that by nomeans cordial, but I 'm bound to consider 't 'f Cousin Marion 's anykin to father she could n't naturally be very open-hearted, 'n' I mustoverlook her with a good grace 'n' a clear conscience. I 'll gobecause I 've made up my mind to go, but I won't take no trunk nor yetbuy no new bonnet. "

Mrs. Lathrop offering no counter advice, Miss Clegg returned to theshelter of her own roof, and to judge by the banging and squeakingthat ensued, burglars were barred out from even daring to dream of apossible raid during the absence which was to be upon the followingday. About nine o'clock peace fell over all and lasted until the dawnof the eventful Saturday. 

When Susan was all ready to start for the station, she called herfriend to the fence and shook hands with her so warmly that the tearsoverflowed the awe in the other's eyes. 

"Good-bye, Mrs. Lathrop, " she said with a solemnity that had nothingto relieve its sombreness and much to deepen the impressiveness of themoment. "Good-bye! I 'm goin' now, 'n' I sh'll be back this evenin', 'n' so help me God while I'm gone, for I have a goose-flesh kind o' asensation 't I'm goin' to get a surprise. "

Mrs. Lathrop clung to her in a heart-wrung silence. Both the friendswere deeply affected, feeling that this journey was a something quiteapart from Susan's ordinary every-day little expeditions to the city. Finally Miss Clegg withdrew her hand, straightened out the resultantwrinkles in her mitt, and stalked away. Mrs. Lathrop sighed sadly, returned to her own rocker, and entered upon the course of a long dayof patient waiting. 

It was about three in the afternoon that, to her great surprise, shesaw Miss Clegg returning. There was something altogether new andstrange in the gait of the latter while she was at a distance, and asshe drew nearer Mrs. Lathrop's eyes and mouth opened together. Thenearer that Susan drew the more provocative of astonishment was hergeneral appearance. To sum up the whole state of the case in as fewwords as possible, I will say that she seemed to have barely survivedsome hitherto totally unknown species of catastrophe. Mrs. Lathrop, much overcome, ran to the door and cried, --

"Come over! I've got the kettle--"

"I was comin' anyhow, " Susan called feebly back, and wearily draggingherself through the gate, along the walk, and up the steps, sank downfinally in one of the kitchen chairs. 

Mrs. Lathrop hastened to fortify her with hot tea and gingerbread. Sheate and drank in silence for some time, only volunteering, as she tookthe third cup, --

"I ain't had nothin' since I left home. "

"Didn't you find your--" Mrs. Lathrop began eagerly. 

"Cousin?" said the traveller, in a tone that suggested revelations asyet unrevealed, --"oh, yes, Mrs. Lathrop, I found my cousin. "

Mrs. Lathrop felt herself to be silenced, and spoke no more. MissClegg drank all the tea and ate all the gingerbread. Then, when therewas nothing else left to do, she declared herself satisfied, andfixing her gaze mercilessly upon the quaking listener, discharged herfirst shot. 

"I wish I'd never gone!"

This statement was made with a vigor that supported its truth in full. Mrs. Lathrop quivered slightly, and waited breathlessly to hear more. 

"I wish I'd never gone, 'n' for the future, Mrs. Lathrop, I'll thankyou to never so much 's breathe a relation anywhere near me, for I'vehad enough family to-day to last me from here to Gabriel 'n' histrumpet, 'n' 'f I ever forget this hour may I die in that one. "

Mrs. Lathrop gasped. 

Susan coughed and gripped her hands tightly together. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, the Bible says 's we may never know what a day 'llbring forth, 'n' 'f I'd 'a' known that this day was gettin' ready tohatch such a Cousin Marion 's I found, I certainly would 'a' spent itsome other way. When I think o' the cheerful lovin' spirit 's I pinnedmy wave on in, 'n' then reflect on what I pinned it on to, I can't butfeel 't if I ain't a fool I 'd ought to be one, 'n' I can't saynothin' stronger for the way I feel. They say 's the Devil 's thefather o' lies, but it's a slander. The Devil is a floatin' angel bythe side o' that letter 's I found. It was a lie, Mrs. Lathrop, a liefrom first to last, 'n' it makes my blood run cold to think o' all theyears that I lived right underneath it 'n' never 's much 's dreamed o'the iniquity up in that old trunk over my head. "

Mrs. Lathrop gasped again. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, I never had it in me to conceal nothin' from you. We'vebeen good friends 'n' true through thick 'n' thin, through my father'n' your son 'n' every other species o' Heaven-sent infliction, f'ryears 'n' years 'n' years. 'N' now I ain't goin' to shut you out o'the inside truth o' this awful day. You see me set off this mornin'bright 'n' beamin', 'n' you see me come home this night burnin' 'n'bitter, 'n' it's nothin' but right's you sh'd be fully took in to thebetwixt 'n' between. It'll mebbe be a lesson to you some day ifanythin' sh'd come up 's led you to look to be extra happy all of asudden, 'n' you'll remember this hour 'n' jus' firmly go back into thehouse 'n' shut the door 'n' say, 'Life's a delusion 'n' a snare, likeSusan Clegg's Cousin Marion. ' It's better for you to learn the lesson's all is vanity now, than to wait 'n' have it fall on your head likea unexpected pickle-jar, the way 's this day 's fell on mine. "

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes grew big. 

"Mrs. Lathrop, in the first place I started out all wrong. Knoxvilleain't on this line a _tall_. It's on the A. 'n' B. , 'n' only thejunction is on this line. Mrs. Lathrop, don't you never trust yourselfto no junction in this world o' sin 'n' sorrow, whatever else you mayin your folly see fit to commit. My experience c'n jus' 's well be awarnin' to you too, f'r I was put off three miles from where thereain't no omnibus, 'n' I had to leg it over a road 's is laid out threehills to the mile. I ain't one 's is give to idle words, but I willremark 't by the time I'd clum the fourth hill I hadn't no kind o'family feelin's left alive within me, 'n' when I did finally get toKnoxville I was so nigh to puffed out 't I c'd hardly find breath toask where Cousin Marion _did_ live. It was a boy skippin' rope 's Iasked, 'n' he never quit skippin' for one second out o' politeness. Seems he was doin' a thousand steady on a bet, 'n' I'm free to confess's I felt pretty foolish askin' questions 'n' his rope like to catchon my nose every other word. I finally made out, though, 's CousinMarion lived out the other end o' town, 'n' so I walked on till I cometo the road. Mrs. Lathrop, it was another road o' hills, 'n' I mustsay 's the sight made my blood run cold for the third time in one day. F'r a minute I thought seriously o' jus' takin' a train away ag'in 'n'lettin' Cousin Marion fiddle alone f'r another fifty years, f'r I giveyou my word o' honor, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I was 'most dead, 'n' Lord onlyknows what made me keep on, f'r what came after was enough to shake myfaith in the Lord forever 'f I really believed 's any one but CousinMarion had one word to say in the matter. But I was raised to finishup all things 's is begun, 'n' I snapped my teeth tight together 'n'set out over them extra hills with all the resignation 's I c'd scrapeup f'r the need o' the moment. I was hot inside 'n' hot outside, butI'd made up my mind to see the thing through 'n' so I pegged rightalong. 

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f I was on the witness stand with Bibles above'n' below, I c'd n't but swear 's it was two miles 'f it was a cent. 'N' even then they was a long two miles. I was on my very last legswhen I got there, 'n' nothin' 't I see revived me none. Mrs. Lathrop, the awfullest old tumble-down house 's ever you see--pigs in the yard, 'n' 'Prim' on the gate-post! 'N' me standin' pantin' for breath, 'n'related to 'em all!"

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes grew bigger and bigger. 

"There was a old man a-sittin' on a chair on the porch in one boot 'n'one slipper 'n' a cane. He looked 't me 's if it 'd be nothin' but ajoy to him to eat me up alive 'n' jus' relish to gnaw the bonesafterwards. You c'n maybe realize, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I wasn't no wayshappy 's I walked a little piece up towards him 'n' said 's I 'd liketo see my cousin, Marion Prim. He give such a nod 's seemed 's if hishead 'd fly off, 'n' I took it 's she was somewhere near 'n' a-comin'. So, 's I was all used up, I jus' started to sink right down on thesteps to wait for her. 

"Oh, my soul 'n' body, that minute!--The awful shock!--Oh, Mrs. Lathrop! you never in all your life dreamed such a yell 's he give! Ilike to 'a' went deaf! I jumped worse 'n 'f I 'd been shot stone-dead. Wild whoopin' Indians was sleepin' babes beside him. 'Not on mysteps!' he shrieked, poundin' with his cane 'n' shakin' with hisfist, --'not on my steps, ' he howled louder 'n all below, --'not while I'm alive!--not while I c'n prevent!--not while I c'n help it!--noClegg sits afore me, not now 'n' not never!' You c'n imagine, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I didn't get very far to sat down under themcircumstances. I trembled all over, 'n' I backed off quite a littleways 'n' looked at him. He kept chokin' 'n' gaspin' 'n' purple 'n'swallowin', 'n' after a while I got up courage to ask him where CousinMarion was. 'N' then--oh, Mrs. Lathrop!--'n' then--well, honest, Ithought's he was goin' to bust!--'n' then, 'I'm Cousin Marion!' heyelled right in my face, --'I'm Cousin Marion, Susan Clegg!' 'n' atthat, Mrs. Lathrop, I went so faint in my knees 'n' so rumbly in myears 't you c'd 'a' clubbed me with a straw 'n' gagged me with a wispo' hay that minute. I jus' stood starin', 'n' you c'n believe me ornot just's you please, but I never was so nigh to fallen overbackwards in all my life before. I c'd feel cold drops like water on aduck's back, 'n' my senses was that mixed 't 'f you'd told me 's myheels was in my hair I wouldn't 'a' doubted you. I d'n' know 's I everwas scared in all my life afore, but when he screamed them awfulwords, my very insides got clammy. I c'd n't say a livin' word, I c'dn't make a livin' move; I c'd only stand 'n' shake 'n' listen, 'n' himkeepin' on yellin' 'n' poundin' like mad. 

"'Susan Clegg, ' he screamed, 'Susan Clegg, '--'n' he kep' poundin'harder 'n' harder 'n' gettin' redder 'n' redder every minute, --'SusanClegg, I'm glad you've come; I've wanted you to come; I've wanted youto come f'r a long time. I did n't know who it'd be, but I 've beenwantin' somebody to come 'n' been waitin' f'r 'em to come f'r fiftyyears 'n' more too. I've been holdin in f'r fifty years! I've beenthinkin' what I wanted to say f'r fifty years! Now I c'n say it! Now Ic'n be happy sayin' it! I wish it was your father's ears a-shiverin'there afore me, but yours 'll do. '

"My heavens alive, Mrs. Lathrop, you'd ought to 'a' seen him! He wentfrom red to purple 'n' from purple to mos' black, 'n' his eyes stoodright out, 'n' he shook his cane right in my face 'n' screamed loudenough to set the dead jumpin'. 

"'Susan Clegg, your father was a shark! Susan Clegg, your father was askinflint! Susan Clegg, your father was a miser! Susan Clegg, yourfather was a thief!' 'n' all this with me where I c'dn't but hear, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' he must 'a' known it too. 'Susan Clegg, I was ayoung man in difficulties, ' he says, ''n' I wanted a hunderd dollarsbad, ' he says, ''n' 'f I'd had it I c'd 'a' bought into a nicebusiness 'n' married a nice girl with a nice property 'n' made thisplace blossom like a wilderness 'n' seen the fig-trees o' my fig-treessittin' in my shade. 'N' I went to your father, 'n' I told him all theinmost recesses o' my heart o' hearts, ' he says, ''n' 'xplained to himhow 'n' why 'n' wherefore the business c'dn't but pay, 'n' then tookhim to see the girl 'n' p'inted out all her good p'ints, 'n' thenasked him to lend me the hunderd dollars, 'n' hired a livery horse 'n'drove him home to think about it. 'N' what followed after, SusanClegg, '--oh, Mrs. Lathrop, I never see the like o' the way he suddenlyswelled 'n' blued right then!--''n' what come next? I waited the waito' the innocent 'n' trustin' for one long 'n' unremittin' week, 'n'then, when I was nigh to mad with sittin' on red-hot needles by day'n' by night without let or hindrance, what did he answer?--what didhe answer to him 's laid in the hollow o' his hand, confidin' fully'n' freely in his seein' what a good investment it 'd be? What did heanswer, Susan Clegg? He answered 's he c'd n't do it, 'n' 's it wasn't no possible use whatever to ask him again! Susan Clegg, I smasheda winder, ' he says, 'right then 'n' there, ' he says, ''n' I writ aletter 'n' it must 'a' been that letter 's you found, f'r I never writhim no other afore or after. 'N' then I went West to make my fortune'n' I did n't make no fortune, but I got my hands on a hunderd dollars'n' I come home lickety-split to buy that business 'n' marry thatgirl. I went first to see about the business 's it was right 'n'natural 't I sh'd, 'n' what did I find, Susan Clegg, what did I find?'Mrs. Lathrop, I never see the like in all my days, born or unborn. Ithought he'd yell my head off. 'I found your father'd bought thebusiness, my business, 'n' I was left out in the freezin', icy cold!Susan Clegg, I smashed a table, ' he says, ''n' two chairs, ' he says, ''n' I went to see the girl 'n' ask her to wait a little longer, --'n', Fire 'n' Brimstone 'n' Saltpetre, 'f your father hadn't gone 'n'married the girl, --my girl!

"''N' there was all below to pay, ' he says, ''n' I vowed bloodymurder, ' he says, ''n' they had me up 'n' bound me over to keep thepeace, 'n' then they moved away. 'N' I sat down to wait f'r myvengeance, ' he says, ''n' I've waited fifty years, ' he says. 'I'vespent fifty years grindin' my teeth 'n' whettin' the edge o' my fury, 'n' now--'

"Mrs. Lathrop, I didn't wait to hear no more. I didn't feel like I hadstrength to. I run. 'N', heavens, _how_ I run! I lit out like I waspaid for it, 'n' I bet I clum every last one o' them hills 's fast onthe up 's the down. When I got to the station there was a train jus'pullin' out f'r I didn't know where, 'n' I hopped aboard like I wasshot. It took me to Meadville, 'n' I had to pay the 'xtra fare 'n'wait two hours to get another back here, 'n' I ain't really halfthrough shakin' yet. "

Susan stopped, took out her handkerchief and carefully passed it overher brow as one who strives to brush away tormenting visions. 

Mrs. Lathrop sat mute and motionless, completely overwhelmed by therecital of her friend's tragic story. 

After a few minutes Miss Clegg put her handkerchief back in her pocketand turned a sad and solemn, yet tender look upon her companion. 

"Lord knows I'm done with relations from this day on, " she said slowlybut with great distinctness. "I feel like hereafter I'll be contentwith jus' you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I can't say nothin' stronger f'r whatI've jus' lived through. "

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes filled with gratitude at this compliment. 

But she said nothing. 

V

THE MINISTER'S VACATION

Mrs. Lathrop had been unable to attend the usual Friday afternoonSewing Society on account of her pickling. She had completelyforgotten what day of the week it was until she had picked all of adozen cucumbers and it was then too late to stay the tide of events. The pickling had to go forward, and one of the best listeners in theSewing Society was forced to remain away in consequence. 

"I guess you'll have to go a--" she called across the open spacebetween their kitchen doors when she saw Susan putting on her blackmitts in the window about two o'clock, --the hour at which they usuallysallied forth in company. 

"Alone, " Susan called back--"well, I should say 't I am goin' alone. 'F you c'u'd see yourself this minute, Mrs. Lathrop; you'd easyunderstand 't even 'f you wanted to go no one in their senses 'd beable to go with you f'r fear o' bein' took for a lunatic. "

Mrs. Lathrop glanced dubiously down over herself. 

"I spilt--" she began apologetically. 

"I c'n see it from here, " said Susan, "'n' 's long 's we're on thesubjeck I want to remark right now 't, with the wind settin' the wayit 's blowin' to-day, I don't want you to burn nothin' while I'm gone. 'F you'll excuse my bein' so open with you, Mrs. Lathrop, I'll say 'ta woman in your circumstances ought not to waste nothin' by burnin' itanyhow, 'n' 'f she does do anythin' so foolish no woman in mycircumstances 'd ought to have her house all smelled up. "

"I ain't goin'--" began the neighbor. 

"That reminds me 't I am, " rejoined she of the black mitts; and sosaying, she quitted the window and was presently seen departing downher front walk, --a pleasing object in a bonnet of the jetted era and ashawl of no date whatever. 

Mrs. Lathrop divided her afternoon between active service over thevinegar kettle and long rests of delicious unconsciousness in thekitchen rocker. Her temperament was not one which wore itself out invain regrets over what might have been, and then too she knew thatSusan was at the meeting and from Susan she would learn all that mightthere transpire. About half-past five she began to glance out of thewindow which looked furthest down the street, and some ten minuteslater her watching was rewarded by the sight of Miss Clegg and anotherlady approaching slowly. An animated conversation appeared to be inprogress between the two, and at the gate of Mrs. Lathrop's dearestfriend they made a long halt while the latter appeared to be layingdown some form of law with uncommon vigor and pointing its points offwith her knitting, which she waved about in a manner unwontedlyreckless. 

Mrs. Lathrop--having not only spilt more during the afternoon, butalso been twice the victim of what is technically known as "boilingover"--felt quite unable to make a third at the gate party, and so wasforced to masticate her impatience and hover in the window until Susanturned at last and came up her walk. 

"Can you come--" then called the eager waiter. 

"Not till after I get my supper, " the other replied. 

Mrs. Lathrop sighed, and forced herself to further patience. It wasall of seven when Miss Clegg finally came over. 

"I'll sit on the steps, " she announced. "Bein' 's we're such friends, Mrs. Lathrop, I may 's well say right here 'n' now 't I would n't sitdown in your kitchen this night for no money. I'd carry the spots tillI died most likely 'n' have no one but myself to blame f'r it. You maynot thank me f'r sayin' it to your face, but it isn't in me to deceiveso much 's a water-bug, 'n' 'f I live to be a hunderd I c'd neverforget seein' you make a chocolate cake once. I c'd make a chocolatecake 'n' a king might eat off o' my cuffs 'n' collar when I wasthrough, but what surprised me about your chocolate cake, Mrs. Lathrop, was 't you did n't get into the oven with it in the end, forI'll take my Bible oath 's you had 's much on you 's on any pan. "

"We c'n sit on the--" said Mrs. Lathrop pleasantly. 

"I 'm sittin' there already, " said the caller, "'n' whenever you getready to listen I 'll tell you about this afternoon, for it was themost interestin' meetin' 't we've had since Mrs. Jewett's leg come offto her chair 'n' she run the crochet-hook so far in--yourecollec'?--'n' the doctors didn't know which way to pull it out. Young Dr. Brown was for pushin' it on through 'cause the hook wouldcatch 'f he drawed it out on the crochet principle, 'n' old Dr. Cartersaid it wouldn't do to put it through 'cause it was a fancy Chinesething 't old Captain Jewett's father brought from China 'n' there wasa man's head on the other end with his mustache makin' twocrochet-hooks, one each side. "

"What did--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Don't you remember?--Mrs. Jewett come to 'n' told 'em 't the middlewas for needles 'n' 't all they had to do was to unscrew it 'n' takeit out opposite ways, 'n' then she fainted, 'n' then they did, 'n' noone thought of there bein' needles in it, 'n' they fell out 'n' shehad shootin' pains from havin' 'em in her for ever so long. Mrs. Macywas sayin' only the other day 't to her order o' thinkin' Mrs. Jewettdied o' the darnin'-needles. She says she was forever grabbin' herselfsomewhere with a sudden yell, 'n' no matter what the doctors said itwas jus' them needles, 'n' no sensible person 's saw her actions coulddoubt it. Mrs. Macy says it was a awful lesson to her against keepin'loose needles in screw things, --she says 't her son sent her a eggfrom the World's Fair with every kind of needle in it, but she wasn'ttakin' no chances, 'n' she took them needles right out 'n' put buttonsin instead. "

"I remember she died, " said Mrs. Lathrop thoughtfully, "but I--"

"It don't matter, " said Susan. "My, but it's hot! It's been awful hotthis week, 'n' this afternoon it was all but bilin' down there in thatlittle parlor o' Mrs. Craig's. I was f'r sittin' on the porch, butGran'ma Mullins rocked off a porch once 'n' she was f'r sittin' whereshe couldn't rock off nothin'. I said she could sit on the grass, butshe was fussy about that too--said a poison-spider bit her foot once'n' she had it come on reg'lar every year f'r seven years after. Icome nigh to feelin' put out, but Mrs. Sperrit spoke up just then 'n'asked 'f we'd any of us noticed how terrible worn the minister's wifewas lookin' 'n' didn't we think 't he'd ought to have a vacation? Itwas that 't made the meetin' so interesting f'r in all the years 'twe've had the minister no one ever thought o' givin' him a vacationafore, 'n' when you think how long we've had him 'n' how steady we'vegone to church as a consequence, I must say 't I think 't it's more 'nsurprisin' 't we didn't give him a vacation long ago. I must say, though, 't my first idea was 't it was a curious thing to give theminister a vacation so as to rest his wife, although I d'n' know 's wecould do any thin' kinder for her 'n to get rid of him f'r a spell. Then too, to my order o' thinkin', our minister ain't really ever inneed o' no rest, and 'f he needs a change my say would be 'Set him towork. ' I said all that to 'em all down there, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit went onthen 'n' said 't her idea was f'r 'em both to go, so 's we could allsort o' take a breathin' space together. I agreed with her about thebreathin, ' f'r I don't believe no other minister 'n ours ever hadthirteen children born in the same house, 'n' I'm free to remark 't ifa new minister did n't always sit so solid for new wall-paper 'n' thecistern cleaned out, I'm pretty sure 't the last half-dozen childern'n' his second wife would certainly have found themselves bein' bornelsewhere. 'N', such bein' the case, I don't blame no man f'r wantin'a little free time, 'n' so I joined in, 'n' Mrs. Allen moved 't we allunbutton our collars 'n' discuss the matter, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins tookoff her cap 'n' we begun right then 'n' there. Mrs. Brown said 't ifthey was a-goin' now was a very good time 'cause the baby was a yearold, 'n' I said 't I c'd agree with her there 'cause if we waited tillnext summer the baby might be only a month old or maybe only a weekold--f'r I must say 't so far 's my observation 's extended therenever is no countin' on how old a minister's baby 's goin' be 't anygiven time. Gran'ma Mullins interrupted me 'n' said 't if we'd excuseher she'd go below her collar 'n' unbutton her top button 'cause hercousin bought it ready-made 'n' all she could tell the clerk was 'tshe was seventy-three years old 'n' so perhaps it was only natural 'tit should bind a little in the neck. 'N' so she did, 'n' then shemoved her head around till she was sure she was all free 'n' then shesaid, ''N' now as to them childern?' It was kind of a shock, for noone had thought about the childern 'n' Mrs. Craig said prettyfeeble-like 't it wouldn't be no rest to send the minister's wife offwith thirteen childern, 'n' I spoke up pretty sharp 'n' asked whatkind of a rest the town 'd get if them thirteen childern was leftbehind. I c'd see 't I'd hit the nail on the head _then_, jus' by theway 't they all waited to get a drink afore going any further. "

Miss Clegg stopped and drew a deep breath. 

Mrs. Lathrop looked anxious, not to say fearful. 

"It was Mrs. Sperrit as begun again, " the narrator continuedpresently. "Mrs. Sperrit said why not divide the children up among usall 'n' each take one, 'n' she looked to be talkin' sense till theystarted dividin', 'n' then it turned out 't naturally every one wantedthe big easy ones 'n' no one wanted Augustus. I was dreadful uneasymyself for fear 't I'd be 'xpected to take Brunhilde Susan on accounto' her hind half bein' named for me, but I didn't have to worry long, for Mrs. Allen said 't she'd take Brunhilde Susan 'cause Polly'stended Brunhilde Susan so much 't she knows just what Brunhilde Susan'll stand 'n' Brunhilde Susan knows just what Polly 'll stand. SoBrunhilde Susan was fixed, but every one else was all upset 'n'undecided, 'n' it was plain 't nothin' wouldn't work, so Mrs. Macy up'n' proposed 't they put all but the baby in a sugar-bowl 'n' shake'em up 'n' draw. 

"Well, we did, 'n' it was 'xcitin', I c'n tell you, 'n' I wish you'dbeen there to see their faces. Mrs. Macy drew first, seein' 't it washer plan, 'n' she was awful put out over gettin' Henry Ward Beecher. Seems she was countin' on using her trundle-bed, 'n' she said rightflat out 't she _must_ use her trundle-bed, 'n' so she jus' up 'n' putHenry Ward Beecher right straight back in the sugar-bowl. Mrs. Sweetdrew next, 'n' 'f _she_ didn't get Henry Ward Beecher too, 'n' she wasmadder yet 'cause she was intendin' to have her child sleep with Emma, 'n' she said 't her child had jus' _got_ to sleep with Emma, so she up'n' stuffed Henry Ward Beecher back into the sugar-bowl too. Then Mrs. Brown wanted to draw, 'n' so they put on the cover 'n' shook 'em uphard, 'n' I couldn't but be a little took with how anxious they was todraw when there was only twelve childern 'n' sixteen women, so 'tstood to reason 't there was four as couldn't get no child to savetheir necks. I didn't try to draw none myself--I hauled out a lot ofstitches 'n' sat back'n' said when they was all through I'd come 'n'draw for you and me too, 'n' then I watched 'em all hurryin' Mrs. Brown, 'n' 'f _she_ didn't get Henry Ward Beecher same 's all therest! But she was perfectly satisfied, --she said 't she was lonesomenow young Dr. Brown's gone 'n' married and 't Henry Ward Beecher c'dhave his room. So Henry Ward Beecher was out o' the sugar-bowl atlast, 'n' I must say 't it was a great relief to see him settled. "

"Who drew--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Mrs. Sweet drew next. 'N' she drew Augustus, 'n' when she see 'tshe'd got Augustus she didn't mince matters none, --she jus' said she'dnever have no Augustus in her house, not now 'n' not never, 'n' sheput him right back, 'n' some one said 't it wasn't fair. But theyshook the bowl up good, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins 'd been tryin' so hard toget a chance at it 't they let her come next, 'n' she drew, 'n'--myLord!--she let off a scream like she'd draw'd a snake 'n' it seemed 'tit was Bobby she'd got, 'n' she said, fair or not, she couldn't abideno small boy since she god-mothered Sam Duruy, 'n' so we must excuseher puttin' Bobby back into the sugar-bowl, and so back into thesugar-bowl Bobby got put. Then every one begin sayin' 't it wasn'tfair, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit stood up 'n' said she knowed a good way. We'dput sixteen numbers in the sugar-bowl 'n' all draw numbers 'n' thenchoose from the childern in accordance with our numbers, No. 1 gettin'first pick 'n' No. 2 second 'n' so on. So we did it, 'n' I drew with apretty heavy heart, I c'n assure you, Mrs. Lathrop, for Lord knowswhat I'd 'a' done if--"

"I c'd 'a' taken--" interposed the friend. 

"Yes, 'n' you'd 'a' had to too, " rejoined the other. "I thought o'that as I was feelin' 'round, prayin' Heaven to guide me; 'n' it didtoo, for I got 14, 'n' after that the rest o' the meetin' was nothin'but sheer circus for me. That was what you missed, Mrs. Lathrop, f'r Idon't believe there ever was or ever will be such a Sewin' Societyagain. Every one quit sewin' in the first place, 'n' Mrs. Duruy, who'd got No. 1, reflected some 'n' then said she 'd take Felicia Hemans'cause Felicia c'd help her with her sewin'. Mrs. Sweet was No. 2, 'n'she took Rachel Rebecca to sleep with Emma. Then come Gran'ma Mullins, 'n' she studied a long while 'n' then at last she decided on littleJane 'cause little Jane sucks her thumb 'n' that's the sign of a goodchild. Then Mrs. Sperrit came next, 'n' she said she'd take Bobby'cause he couldn't do no mischief out on the farm. Gran'ma Mullinsshook her head 'n' said them laughs best as laughs last, but Mrs. Sperrit stuck to Bobby 'n' didn't pay no attention to Gran'ma Mullins. Well--then Mrs. Brown took Henry Ward Beecher, 'n' Mrs. Kimball tookBilly 'cause he's in the store anyhow, 'n' Mrs. Maxwell took 'LizaEm'ly to rip, 'n' Mrs. Fisher took John Bunyan for weeds. 'N' thenMrs. Macy just pounced on the last girl for her trundle-bed, 'n' Mrs. Jilkins was pretty mad at there bein' no more girls after the last one'n' she give a sort o' flounce 'n' said 'Josephus, ' 'n' Miss Whitegive a sort o' groan 'n' said 'Fox' in a voice like death. 'N' _then_come _the_ time!--Mrs. Davison was No. 12, 'n' every one knew it, 'n'every one 'd been lookin' at her from time to time 'n' she hadn't beenlookin' at no one, only jus' at her number, 'n' when the time come f'rher to say who she'd got (for naturally she didn't have no choice) shedidn't say nothin' at all, only just begun to pick up all her workthings 'n' stuff 'em in that little black bead bag o' hers, 'n' therewas a meanin' way about her stuffin' 't said more 'n wasnecessary. --But o' course some one had to speak, so Mrs. Sweet begunto smile 'n' say, ''N' Mrs. Davison gets Augustus!' 'n' at that Mrs. Davison come up out o' her chair like it was a live coal, 'n' shookall over 'n' glared right in front of her, 'n' said, 'Ladies, this mayappear as a joke to you, but it's far from seemin' funny to the one asgets Augustus. I decline Augustus right square 'n' sharp 'n' flat 'n'now, 'n' if I ever hear another word on the subjeck I shall cease toever again play the organ in church on Sunday!'"

Miss Clegg paused dramatically. 

Mrs. Lathrop opened her mouth in awe at the climax. 

"Well, you c'd 'a' heard the dust settle for a minute or two! No onecouldn't think o' nothin' to say, f'r the only thing to say wassuthin' 't no one in their senses would think o' sayin', but o' coursesome one had to say it, 'n' Mrs. Craig got up at last 'n' with thetears standin' in her eyes 'n' a kind o' sad look all around her nicetidy house, she sort o' sighed out, 'We must have the organ Sundays, 'n' I'll take Augustus. ' There was a air o' bein' sorry for her allover, but every one was so glad it was her 'n' not them 't theycouldn't help bein' more relieved 'n anythin' else, 'n' then we allremembered 't we was hot, 'n' hungry too, so we made short work o'app'intin' Mrs. Allen to go 'n' tell the minister how everythin' wasarranged for his vacation, 'n' 't it'd be a favor to us all if hecould get away pretty prompt to-morrow so 's we could be all settleddown for Sunday. Mrs. Sperrit says she'll take the bird right alongwith Bobby, 'n' Mrs. Allen says 't if they have Brunhilde Susan theycan just as well fuss with the cow too, so 's far as I c'n seethere'll be no church Sunday, 'n' I certainly am grateful, for all thetime 't I was in church last Sunday I was wishin' 't I was in thecrick instid, 'n' I don't consider such thoughts upliftin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop slapped at a mosquito. 

"They say it's better to be born lucky 'n rich, " said Susan, gettingup to go, "'n' what you said jus' now, Mrs. Lathrop, proves 't it'strue in your case. For if I _had_ been obliged to take Brunhilde Susanor any other of 'em, it'd surely 'a' been a awful care to you justnow, what with your picklin' 'n' your not bein' no great hand atchildern anyhow. "

Mrs. Lathrop assented with two slow nods. 

"Mrs. Brown 'n' me walked home together, " said Susan, as she slowlyturned her steps in the direction of her own house. "Mrs. Brown thinksshe's got the flower o' the flock in gettin' Henry Ward Beecher. Shesays he's so big he'll be no care a _tall_, except to fill his pitcheronce in a while. "

"It's Mrs. Craig as has--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Yes, I sh'd say so, " assented Susan. 

And then they spoke no more. 

* * * * *

The minister, on the receipt of his parishioners' ultimatum, tarriednot upon the order of his going, but went almost at once. Indeed heand his wife packed with such alacrity that at ten o'clock upon thefollowing day (which was Saturday) they were both gone, and thethirteen children, the bird, and the cow had all been distributedaccording to the Sewing Society's programme. 

The day was intensely hot, and in spite of the deep interest whichboth felt in the wide-spread situation, neither Susan nor Mrs. Lathropheard any news from the thirteen seats of war until late in theafternoon. At that hour Mrs. Macy called on Miss Clegg, and after thecall the latter walked "as far as the square" with her friend. Mrs. Lathrop saw them go out together from her kitchen window, and whenSusan failed to return, she possessed her soul with all the unlimitedresignation which was her strong point. 

Susan did not return until seven o'clock. 

"I ain't comin' over, " she called from the back stoop, before Mrs. Lathrop could get to the fence; "there ain't nothin' particular totell 'n' under them circumstances I ain't one to bother to tell it. Every one 't I see was out runnin' about 'n' recountin' how muchbetter they're doin' than might 'a' been expected. Mrs. Craig's awfulpleased over Augustus, says it was all clean slander the talk abouthim, for he's 's good 's gold, jus' lays on his back on the floor 'n'says, 'Wash zhat? Is zhat a fly? Zhi a fly? Zhu a fly?' or 'Wash zhat?Zhat dinner? Zhi dinner? Zhu dinner?' 'n' all you have to say is'Yes--No--No--No' pretty prompt. She says she don't consider him nocare a _tall_ 'n' she's glad to have the chance to say so rightout. --Mrs. Fisher was into the store while Mrs. Craig was talkin', 'n'she says she's 'mused to death over John Bunyan. Seems she was neverin favor o' Mr. Fisher's havin' a garden, 'n' now John Bunyan 's gone'n' pulled up all the beets 'n' five rows of little radishes. She wasbuyin' him a ball an' laughin' to tears over how mad Mr. Fisher was. She says he took John Bunyan by the shoulders 'n' shook him hard 'n'asked him 'f he didn't know a radish 'n' a beet when he saw one, 'n'John Bunyan spoke right up 'n' said, 'Course he knowed a radish 'n' abeet when he saw 'em, but how was any one to see a radish or a beettill after he pulled it up first?' Oh my! but Mrs. Fisher says Mr. Fisher was hot about it, 'n' it was all of a half hour afore he gotover his mad enough to be ready to teach John Bunyan anythin' else, 'n' then he wanted to show him the first principles of graftin', 'n'so she put a big plate of apples where they was handy for the boy toreach, 'n' come down town herself. "

Mrs. Lathrop had approached the fence step by step, and now leaned ina confidence-inspiring attitude against its firm support. The sightseemed to affect Miss Clegg without her being conscious of the fact, and she abandoned her first position on the doorstep and advancedalso. 

"After all, we might 's well be comfortable while we visit, " shecommented simply, when they found themselves adjusted as of old, "'n'come to think it over I really did hear quite a piece o' news in town. Mrs. Duruy says she's set Felicia Hemans to makin' Sam some shirts 'n'Sam is runnin' the sewin'-machine for 'em. Now o' course 'f it comesto such doin's the first day any one can figger on a week ahead, 'n' Ihad a good mind to say 's much to Mrs. Duruy, but then I thought if Ihad it in me to do any warnin' I'd best warn Felicia, 'n' as far 's myexperience goes a woman afore she marries a man always admires himfull 's much or maybe even more 'n' his own mother can, so it's breathwasted to try 'n' tell either of 'em a plain truth about him. Now youknow, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I was never one to waste my breath, so whenMrs. Duruy said 's she was thinkin' o' goin' over to Meadville tovisit her cousin, now 's she had somebody to keep her house for her, Ijus' remarked as I hoped she'd get her house back when she come back'n' let it go at that. Mrs. Allen was in after mail, 'n' she saidBrunhilde Susan was in bed, 'n' the cow was all milked for the night, 'n' her mind was easy over 'em both; 'n' Gran'ma Mullins was to thedrug-store after some quinine to put on little Jane's thumb. She saysthis week as she has little Jane she 'll jus' cure her o'thumb-suckin' once an' f'r all time by keepin' it dipped in quinine. 

"I didn't see none o' the others, but I didn't hear o' their bein' indifficulties, so I come home. Mrs. Macy says Roxana sits 'n' weepsstraight along, but she says she didn't have no choice as to herdrawin', for between her bein' No. 9 'n' only havin' a trundle-bedRoxana was just forced right down her throat, so she ain't botherin'over her a _tall_. She come out to make calls this afternoon, 'n' shesays she sh'll see to her own marketin' same 's ever, 'n' Roxana c'nweep or not weep to suit herself. "

"I'm glad you--" said Mrs. Lathrop thoughtfully. 

"I am too, " said Susan quickly, "I'm glad 'n' I sh'll always stayglad. I just had that one time o' carin' for children, 'n' the Lorddealt me a lion instid of a baby, 'n' I 'm free to confess 't I'venever seen no occasion to say other than Thy Will be Done. Thesparrows do build awful in the notches of that lion, 'n' the nest inhis mouth aggravates me so I d'n' know what to do some days, but stillwhen all's said 'n' done a sparrow's nest in the mouth of yourfather's tombstone ain't any such trial as gettin' a child to bednights 'n' keepin' its hands clean would be. 'N' if I had adopted achild, Mrs. Lathrop, I sh'd cert'nly 'a' kept it clean, f'r, if you'llexcuse me remarkin' it right in your face, I was raised to wash 'n'dust 'n' be neat. That's why that nest in my lion's mouth with thestraws stickin' every way do try me so. Mr. Kimball 's forever askin'me if the lion 's raisin' a beard against the winter, 'n' the otherday he said he was give to understand 't it was tippin' a little, 'n'I was recommended to brace him up by givin' him raw eggs for hisbreakfast. Well, maybe all Mr. Kimball says is very witty, but it's apoor kind o' wit, I think. He makes good enough jokes about the restof the c'mmunity, but I may tell you in confidence, Mrs. Lathrop, 't Iain't never heard one joke 't he's told on me 't I considered evenhalf-way amusin'. "

Mrs. Lathrop shook her head sadly. 

Then they went in. 

The Sunday which followed this particular Saturday was of a heat trulytropical. All the blinds of the Clegg and Lathrop houses stayedtightly closed all day, and it is only fair to surmise that those whoremained behind them were not sorry that the minister's absenceallowed them to do so with a clear conscience. 

But about half-past seven in the evening Susan's shutters began tobang open with a succession of blast-like reports, and shortly aftershe emerged from her kitchen door and started down town. Mrs. Lathrop, who was of course cognizant of every movement on her neighbor's part, saw her go and made haste to be ready against her home-coming. To thatend she set her front door hospitably open, drew two rockers out uponthe porch, laid a palm-leaf fan in one, and deposited herself in theother. 

It was nearly an hour before Miss Clegg returned from town. Sheappeared very warm, but pleased with herself for having gone. As shesank down in the chair and began to agitate the fan, Mrs. Lathrop'seyes fairly gleamed with anticipation. 

"I s'pose--" she began. 

"Well, no, " said Susan, "seems they ain't, after all. The air downtown is more like a revival than anythin' else, everybody 's uptellin' their experience an' callin' out on Heaven to save 'em. 'N'the worst of all is Mrs. Brown!--she _never_ knew 't Henry WardBeecher walks in his sleep! No more did I nor nobody else, 'n' I mustsay 't I do think 't the minister 'd ought to 'a' told some of us so'swe could 'a' been a little prepared, for there's many a night 's I'veleft clothes out on the line 's I'd never risked 'f I'd been aware o'the possibility o' Henry Ward Beecher bein' broad-cast. Mrs. Brownsays, though, 's it ain't his walkin' in his sleep as is troublin'her, it's his eatin' in his walkin'. Mrs. Lathrop, you never hear thelike o' what she told me! It's beyond all belief! He eat the Sundaylayer-cake 'n' the Sunday-dinner pie 'n' the whole week's tin o'doughnuts, 'n' then went back to bed 'n' never turned a hair. Why, shesays she never _did_--in all her life. She says when she see the jellystreaks on the bed an' felt his sticky door-knob, she was all used up, for Babes in the Woods was criminal beside the way he looked to besleepin'. 'N' he don't remember nothin' a _tall_ to-day, not onelivin' doughnut does that boy recolleck, 'n' she says 'f she didn'tknow it to be so on a'count o' the empty tin she'd doubt herself an'believe him by choice, he looks so truthful. But empty tins is emptytins, 'n' no one can deny that fact. 

"I see Mrs. Craig too. Mrs. Craig's some altered as to her yesterday'sview in regard to Augustus. That cat 't she makes so much over 'sgone, 'n' she's most crazy as a consequence. It's him as she warms herfeet on winters, 'n' when I asked her how under the sun she come tofeel the need o' it to-day she didn't even smile. She says she askedAugustus right off 's quick 's she missed it, 'n' all he said was, 'Wash zhat? Zhat a cat? Zhi a cat? Zhu a cat?' 'n' she see 't therewasn't no information to be got out o' him. She says, though, that ifyou bar the cat he's pretty good, only he's so tiresome. He followsher all over, sayin', 'Wash zhat? Zhat a hair-pin? Zhi a hair-pin? Zhua hair-pin?' She says it ain't nothin' to really complain of, but it'sgettin' a little wearin', 'n' she was lookin' more worried 'n her talkbore out, but Miss White come up 'n' begun about Fox, 'n' that kind o'ended Augustus. Miss White says 'f the minister wanted to name a childafter Fox's Martyrs he was welcome, but she 'n' her family neverbargained on bein' the martyrs. She says 't Fox takes fits o' yellin''n' when he begins he don't never stop. Her mother's deaf, 'n' said tolet the child yell it out 'n' teach him a lesson, but Deacon White hasgot his ears same as ever, 'n' he couldn't stand the noise, 'n' so hehired Fox to stop by promisin' him a trumpet 's soon as the store isopen to-morrow mornin'. Miss White says her mother said buyin'trumpets was a poor kind o' discipline, 'n' Mrs. Fisher come alongjust then 'n' said her notion o' discipline was rewardin' the goodinstead o' the bad, 'n' 't she was goin' to give John Bunyan a dish o'cookies to keep in his washstand drawer, 'cause he went out in thegarden this mornin' while Mr. Fisher was down for the mail, 'n' hetried his last night's lesson in graftin' on things in general there, 'n' he grafted corn 'n' potatoes 'n' asparagus all back 'n' forth 'n'killed 'em all. She says Mr. Fisher was awful mad 'n' wanted to shakeJohn Bunyan, but she jus' up 'n' told Mr. Fisher 't she'd been tellin'him 't there was a mighty big difference between theory 'n' practicef'r these many years, 'n' 't now John Bunyan was sent by the hand o'Providence to show him jus' what she meant. 

"I see Mrs. Macy too, 'n' she's happy for the whole town. Seems Roxanawas so lonesome for the other dozen 't she jus' sat 'n' rolled downtears steady, 'n' this afternoon when Mrs. Sperrit drove in to see hersister she jus' took Roxana home with her. She says Roxana 'll behappy with Bobby on the farm, 'n' it's easy to be seen as Mrs. Maxwellis envyin' Mrs. Macy, for she says 't it's as plain 's the nose on theoutside o' your face 't 'Liza Em'ly 's nothin' to rip. "

Miss Clegg ceased speech to rock and fan for a minute or two. 

"Did you see--" asked Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I see every one almost, " replied the other. "I see Polly Allenwheelin' Brunhilde Susan around the square. Polly said 't the heat washard on the cow 'n' hard on Brunhilde Susan. She says the cow's got tohave suthin' on 'n' Brunhilde Susan's got to have everythin' off orthey ain't neither of them peaceable to live with long. I ain't sohappy over Brunhilde Susan 's I would be if she had more sense. Shewas cryin' 'Moo--moo' at every dog she see, 'n' I give her a nickel tokeep her quiet, 'n' then she up 'n' lost it. We hunted an' hunted 'n'did everythin' in kingdom come to find it--for I naturally didn't feelto come away without it--'n' finally Polly said 's she must 'a'swallowed it, 'n' she asked her, 'n' she said 'Yes, ' 'n' I was more 'ndisgusted. It was a full minute before I could remember to thank mystars as it wasn't a half-dollar--'s it might easy 'a' been, for bein'the namesake of a child kind o' obliges you to be nice to 'em. Brunhilde Susan can't never expect to get nothin' out o' her fronthalf, for I was give to understand 't the Brunhilde 's Felicia Hemanswas so book-took with is long dead, 'Dragged at horses' tails, ' shehad the face to tell me--the joint godmother!--''N' who by?' Icouldn't in decency but ask. --'By the horses, ' says Felicia Hemans, a-gigglin' fit to beat the band. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I'm prettypatient with the young in general, but I must say 's I can't but feel't when them shirts o' Sam Duruy's is done 'n' their consequences isadded up, it's a even thing which draws the least, --him or Felicia. Mrs. Macy told me 't Mrs. Duruy has her things all washed 'n' ironedto go to Meadville to-morrow, 'n' I reckon 't a woman 's is as blind's that 'll be jus' 's happy in Meadville as anywhere else. "

Susan paused and rose from her seat. 

"Are you a--" said Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Looks like it, don't it?" replied Miss Clegg. "'S a matter o' fact, Mrs. Lathrop, I'm that hot 'n' tired 'd it 'd take a long sight more'n you to keep me any longer, so I 'll say good-bye 'n' go. "

* * * * *

On Monday the thermometer bounded higher than ever. It was wash-daytoo, which rendered one half of the community infinitely hotter yet. As the burden of the minister's vacation fell upon the same half thatthe washing did, one might have looked for very little friendlyexchanging of personal trials on the evening that followed such atrying day. Susan felt such to be the case and concluded not to tryand go down town. Mrs. Lathrop took two or three wilted clovers, andsat on her steps and chewed submissively after tea, --too much overcomeeven to waft a questioning glance across the interim of parched grasswhich stretched between her kitchen stoop and that of her friend; butthe latter saw her sitting there and felt a keen, remorseful stab. 

"I guess I 'll go down in the square f'r jus' five minutes, " shecalled to the dejected figure, and forthwith sallied out to theconflict. 

The five minutes stretched to an hour, and Mrs. Lathrop was franklyasleep when her vigil was terminated by her neighbor's return. Thelatter came up and sat down on the steps, heaving a mighty sigh as shedid so. 

"Well, I see Mrs. Brown, " she began in a tone of reminiscent sympathy, "'n' I can tell you 't Mrs. Brown is in a situation not to be lightlysneezed over. "

"What did--" remarked Mrs. Lathrop, rubbing her eyes. 

"What did Henry Ward Beecher do? Well, he jus' up 'n' did the same 'sthe night afore. Ate the Sons o' Veterans' pudding 's Mrs. Brown hadall ready for the Lodge meetin', 'n' all the baked beans 's was forto-day's luncheon too. She says she never dreamed as no human bein'could hold what that boy can. She says young Dr. Brown says 't hewants to come 'n' observe him to-night 'f he don't have to go over toMeadville to get two of his saws sharpened. Mrs. Brown says he sayshe's goin' to write a paper for the Investigatin' Society, but I don'tsee how that's goin' to help the Sons o' Veterans none. Doctors'observations 'n' investigations 's all right 's far 's they go, but Idon' fancy as they can be made to take the place o' no eat up puddin'inside o' no son of a veteran. 'N' anyhow, Henry Ward Beecher or noHenry Ward Beecher, Mrs. Craig 's jus' about frantic over her cat. Shesays there's cat's hair everywhere 'n' the cat ain't nowhere. She wasdoin' out her churnin' 'n' she found some hairs in the butter. I askedher 'f maybe Augustus hadn't fed the cat to the cow, 'n' she says theythought o' that, but her husband says 't ain't possible, for thereain't room for a cat to turn over in the place where a cow turnseverything over afore she swallows it. Mrs. Craig says, besides, 'tshe asked Augustus, but he jus' said, 'Wash zhat?--Zhat a cow?--Zhi acow?--Zhu a cow?' 'n' she see plain 'n' forever where he got the nameo' bein' so bad, for she was dyin' to switch him 'n' couldn't in honorsay as she had any real reason to. But all the same she says she's assure as Fate 't him 'n' no one else 's at the bottom o' her cat--onlyhow in all creation are you to get it out o' him? She says there washairs in the washtub 'n' hairs in the bluein', 'n' when she gatheredthe sweet peas afore supper she see a hair on a sweet-pea pod. Whilewe was talkin' suthin' tickled her 'n' she found a hair in her collar. 

"Gran'ma Mullins came along up from the crick while we was talkin', 'n' she had her tale o' woe same 's the rest. Seems little Jane 'squit her thumb, owin' to the quinine, 'n' took to bitin' holes 'n'chewin' 'n' suckin' everythin' that she can lay hands on. She's chewedher pillow-slip 'n' bit her sheet 'n' sucked right down to the brasson a number o' Gran'ma Mullins' solid silver things. They've triedscoldin' 'n' slappin', but she jus' keeps her mouth on the rampage, 'n' they can't get her to go back to her thumb f'r love nor money. Mrs. Brown said she'd be glad to trade Henry Ward Beecher for littleJane, 'n' I strongly advised her to do it, f'r to my mind a chewin'child 's more to be counted on than a eatin' sleep-walker, but we wasevidently all o' the same way o' thinkin, f'r Gran'ma Mullins shookher head 'n' wouldn't change. 

"I see Felicia Hemans down buyin' suthin' with Sam along with a basketto carry it home in. I asked 'f Mrs. Duruy was gone, 'n' they saidyes, 'n' Sam grinned 'n' Felicia giggled, same 's usual. I c'n see 'tthe Allens is all put out 't Sam's bein' around with any one butPolly, 'n' Mrs. Allen asked me 'f I really thought Mrs. Duruy 'd oughtto 'a' gone off like that. I said I thought it was a awful risk forFelicia Hemans 'cause o' course she _might_ marry Sam in consequence. Mrs. Allen didn't like it, 'n' she bounced Brunhilde Susan'scarriage-springs so hard 't she made Brunhilde Susan wake up. Mr. Kimball was out in front o' his store, 'n' he hollered across to me 'the was giv' to understand as Brunhilde Susan was learnin' to hang ontomoney already. Every one laughed, 'n' I declare 't for the life o' meI don't see how no one c'n make a joke over a baby's swallowin' a lentnickel. "

"Who--" queried Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, Mrs. Fisher was one of 'em. She did sort of explain it awayafterwards, though. She said she was so happy she laughed at anynothin' at all. Seems Mr. Fisher set John Bunyan to cuttin' the grass, 'n' the boy went 'n' sheared right over the bed o' petunias. Seemsthem petunias was the apple o' Mr. Fisher's eye 'n' he wanted a dishof 'em with every meal. Mrs. Fisher says 't to her mind a woman haswork enough gettin' the meals without havin' to get petunias too, 'n'she was nothin' but glad to see what a clean shave John Bunyan made o'the whole thing. She was down town buyin' him some marbles. She wentinto Shores after 'em, an' she 'n' Miss White come out together. Iknow suthin' had happened the minute I see Miss White's face, f'rangels chantin' glory was nothin' to it. Do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, that Fox never lived up to the trumpet bargain one hour, but jus'yelled 'n' blew alternate, till the Deacon was nigh to deaf 'n' oldMrs. White begun to hear, 'n' they was all 'most fit for the InsaneAsylum when Mrs. Sperrit come in to leave a skirt for new braid, 'n'she jus' up 'n' took Fox home with her. She says 't he can make allthe noise he wants to out on the farm, 'n' the Whites is all but inParadise as a result. "

"I sh'd think--" suggested Mrs. Lathrop. 

"Well, I d'n' know, " said Susan; "you may think so, but you didn'tlook like it when I come. You looked to be asleep, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n'bein' 's to-day's been a hot Monday 'n' to-morrow 'll likely be a hotTuesday, I feel some inclined that way myself. So good-night. "

* * * * *

Susan's prophecy as to what the next day would be came true. It was ascorching Tuesday, and nothing but the feast of gossip which "thesquare" held upon this particular week could ever have drawn a crowdthere on so sultry a night. 

"But every one was out, " she told Mrs. Lathrop, as they met by thefence along towards nine o'clock, "'n' oh my! you'd ought to 'a' beenthere. Mrs. Craig's found her cat, 'n' that takes the lead, for shecome back of her own accord from a place where no one 'd ever 'a'expected her to come back from. "

"Where did--" asked Mrs. Lathrop eagerly. 

"Come up in the well-bucket, " replied Miss Clegg promptly, --"she comeup in the well-bucket this afternoon all but her tail, 'n' they thinkAugustus must 'a' strained that throwin' her in by it 'n' so it soakedoff extra easy. Mrs. Craig went for him the minute she see the cat, but, lor', you can't get nothin' out o' Augustus; he jus' said, 'Washzhat?--Zhat a cat?--Zhi a cat?--Zhu a cat?' 'n' Mrs. Craig was too madf'r words. She says 't they've been noticin' a curious taste in thewater, but not bein' in the habit o' drinkin' the house cat, theynever thought of its bein' him. She's troubled over findin' the cat'n' troubled some more over not findin' the tail. She says Mr. Craigsays 't he wouldn't consider for one second cleanin' out a well for atrifle like a cat's tail, 'n' yet, for her part, she ain't nowaysinclined to keep on livin' on cat's hairs indefinitely. She says 'tMr. Craig says 't she can easy fish the tail up with the well-bucket, but fishin' for suthin' 's you can't see ain't so funny as a woman'shusband 's apt to make out. 'S far 's my observation 's 'xtended, aman always gives his wife to understand that what'd be a bother ormebbe impossible for him to do 'll be jus' a pleasant afternoon forher. I took it on myself to tell her that very same thing. 'Let himfish that tail himself for a day or two, ' I says; 'about the sixhundred an' fortieth time 't he winds up that bucket 'n' finds himselfstill short o' that tail I'll venture my guess 't he won't find thejoke 's fine 's he did at first. ' But she was too used up to know whenshe was havin' good common-sense talked to her; she jus' kep' wipin'her eyes, 'n' then Mrs. Sperrit drove up 'n' the whole rigmarole hadto be gone over again for her. I mus' say that she behaved kind ofun-neighborly, f'r she laughed fit to kill herself, 'n' Mrs. Craig wasnigh to put out over such doin's, --'n' the cat not dead a week yet;but when Mrs. Sperrit got through laughin' she made up f'r it all, forshe said if Mrs. Craig was willin' she'd take Augustus home with her. Mrs. Craig couldn't believe she was in earnest at first, 'n' then shewept again with sheer joy. 'N' what _do_ you think 't Mrs. Sperritdid?--Took Augustus straight across to Mr. Shores 'n' bought adog-collar 'n' a chain for him 'n' buckled it on right then and there. 'I'll engage he don't throw no cats down no wells out on the farm, 'she says, 'n' then off she drove with the youngster sittin' up besideher prim 's a poodle. "

"Did you hear--" asked Mrs. Lathrop, chewing pleasantly. 

"I see Mrs. Brown, " Susan continued calmly, --"she was down in thesquare. Seems 't young Dr. Brown didn't get to observe Henry WardBeecher like he expected. He 'n' Amelia went over to Meadville, 'n'mebbe they'll go on to the city from there, f'r his practice isspreadin' so 't he's got to buy a bigger borin'-machine, 'n' he wantsa lot more bastin' thread an' needles. But Henry Ward Beecher was up'n' doin' as usual last night. He skum two pans o' milk 'n' didn't putthe covers back, so a June bug got in. Mrs. Brown says Mrs. Craig 'swelcome to drink her cat if she favors the idea, but she ain'tdrinkin' no June bugs herself, so she had to give the complete pan tothe pigs. 'N' he eat more too!--he eat ajar o' watermelon pickles 'n'all the calves-foot jelly 't was all ready f'r old Mrs. Grace. It's aserious matter about the jelly, for Mrs. Grace 's most dead 'n' allthe calves in town is alive, 'n' so where any more jelly 's to be gotin time the Lord only knows. Mrs. Brown thinks some one 'd ought towrite to the minister; she says it ain't possible 's he's always eatlike this nights 'n' she wants to know how to put a stop to it. Mrs. Allen thinks 't some one 'd ought to write to the minister too. Shesays 't Sam 'n' Felicia was down on the bridge last night a-holdin'hands. She says Polly saw 'em. 

"'N' Gran'ma Mullins is another as thinks 't some one 'd ought towrite to the minister. She was down town a-buyin' some honey to put onlittle Jane's thumb. She's all but stark mad. She says mice 'n' mothsis goin' to be mere jokes to her hereafter. She says 'f the ministerdon't come back soon little Jane 'll have her sucked out o' bed 'n'board. She says little Jane 's like him in the history 't where hechewed the grass never grew again. There seems to be considerableanxiety 's to when the minister 'll get back. Nobody thought to askhim where he was goin', 'n' as a consequence nobody knows where he'sgone. Nobody thought to ask him when he was comin' back, 'n' 's aconsequence no one knows when he's thinkin' o' comin' back. Mr. Kimball says 't his view o' the matter is as the minister was tired o'havin' thirteen children 'n' is gone off somewhere else to begin allover. Fun or not, the idea 's sort of upset every one. They went downto see where he bought his ticket for, but Johnny says he only took itto the junction, 'n' my own experience is 't a junction may lead to'most anythin'. Mrs. Macy says 's there's only one way to be surewhether he's gone for good or not, 'n' that is to go up to the house'n' see whether he took his ear-muffs along, for it stands to reason't any man who 'd pack his ear-muffs a week like this ain't intendin'to ever return. Every one see the sense o' that, 'n' so Mrs. Macy 'sapp'inted herself to go 'n' look the house over to-morrow mornin'. Imust say 't 'f she don't find them ear-muffs the c'mmunity 'll bepretty blue to-morrow night. No one knew how fond they was of theminister until they begin to find out what them thirteen childern cometo when you add 'em all up separately. I d'n' know's I ever was soglad of anythin' in my life 's I am that I drew No. 14 out o' Mrs. Craig's sugar-bowl. Fate 's a strange thing when you look it under 'n'over 'n' hind end to, Mrs. Lathrop, --there was me drawin' No. 14 'n'Mrs. Craig herself gettin' Augustus, 'n' all on account of asugar-bowl, 'n' that sugar-bowl hers 'n' not mine. "

Mrs. Lathrop applied her clover, but said nothing. 

"Well, I d'n' know as there's any good to be gained out o' ourstandin' here chattin' any longer. We'd better be gettin' to bed 'n'thankin' our merciful Father 't we hav'n't got none o' the minister'schildren, 'n' that's a prayer 's not many c'n put up this night. "

Mrs. Lathrop threw her clover away and returned to her own domicile. 

* * * * *

On Wednesday, between the intense heat and the equally intenseexcitement engendered by Mr. Kimball's suggestion, the town was rifewith a hive-like tumult. Miss Clegg went down to return Mrs. Macy'scall soon after dinner, and when she got back it was all of six. Mrs. Lathrop was so anxious to hear the latest news from the seat of warthat she had prepared a company tea by the dining-room window andhailed Susan directly she was near enough to hail. 

"I want you to come to--" she cried. 

"Well, I believe I will, " her friend answered cordially. "I believeI'd really enjoy to pervided you ain't got nothin' with dried currantsin it. They say the heathen Chinese eat flies for currants, but Inever was no heathen Chinese. "

"I ain't got--" Mrs. Lathrop assured her. 

"Then I'll come 's soon 's I c'n get my bonnet off, " Susan answered, and proceeded to unlock her own domain and enter into the sacredprecincts thereof. 

Ten minutes later the friends sat on opposite sides of Mrs. Lathrop'shospitality. 

"I s'pose 't a good deal--" began the older woman, as she poured outthe tea. 

"More'n any other day, " said the younger; "it almost seems 's 'f more's happened than I c'n remember to tell over again. I see Mrs. Macy, 'n' it was lucky 't I went to see her, f'r she was _the_ one 's knowedeverythin' _this_ day, f'r sure. The first thing she told me was 'tthe minister 's got his ear-muffs right along with him. She says theear-muffs is the only thing 't she didn't find, f'r she's willin' toswear 's she opened more 'n a hunderd bundles. She said she was cleanwore out towards the last, 'n' discouraged too, 'n' she thought she'dgo over to Mrs. Duruy's 'n' ask Felicia Hemans if she know'd anythin';so she did, 'n' when she got there the house was all shut up, 'n' apiece o' paper stuck in the front door between the knob 'n' the wall, simply statin' 't Felicia Hemans 'n' Sam was gone to Meadville to getmarried. All it said was 'Me 'n' Sam were married in Meadville aforeyou can get this. Your everlasting daughter. ' She see 't it was meantfor a little surprise for Mr. Duruy when he come home 'xpectin' to gethis dinner, 'n' she thought she'd ought to give it to him right off;so she went back 'n' got her stick 'n' jus' went to town 's quick 'sever she could 'n' walked straight in on him with it. He took on awful'n' stamped around an' shook, his fist right in her face, an' swore ather till she was frightened 'most to death, 'n' then it turned out 'the'd thought as it was her 's had married Sam on a'count o' therebein' no 'Felicia' signed to the letter. The other shock when he cometo understand brought on a appleplecktic fit, 'n', seein' 's young Dr. Brown 's away, they had to send 'way to Meadville f'r old Dr. Carter, 'n' Mrs. Macy had to stay 'n' take care of him, with him light-headedhalf the time 'n' the other half all out o' his mind 'n' sure she wasmarried to Sam. She said 't it didn't take much o' such doin's to gether so aggravated 't she jus' told him flat 'n' plain 's she wassixty-seven years old and that meant 's she knowed sixty-seven yearstoo much to marry his son. She said he begin to rave 'n' choke allfresh 't that, 'n' her patience come clean to a end right then 'n'there, 'n' she picked up the water-pitcher 'n' told him 'f he dared tohave another fit she'd half drown him. She said he got reasonablepretty quick when he see she was in earnest, 'n' she had him sittin'up by the window afore Dr. Carter got there. Mrs. Duruy 'n' Sam 'n'Felicia Hemans all drove over with the doctor, 'n' Dr. Carter hadtelegraphed young Dr. Brown to come 'n' observe Mr. Duruy's fit withhim, so Dr. Brown 'n' Amelia 's home too, 'n' all down around thecrick is real gay. O' course Mrs. Macy 'd done with the fit afore theygot there, but young Dr. Brown wants Dr. Carter to stay over night 'n'observe Henry Ward Beecher, 'n' Dr. Carter says 't he thinks he will. He says he ain't got no real important case on hand jus' now, only hesays it's a ill wind 's blows no man good 'n' he's lookin' for thisheat to lay some one out afore long. 

"Gran'ma Mullins come up to Mrs. Macy's while I was there, 'n' she'spretty mad. Seems she hurried to Mr. Duruy's jus' 's soon 's she heardof the doctors there, 'n' wanted 'em to come over to her house 'n'observe little Jane's thumb, 'n' Dr. Carter jus' flatly up and saidlittle Jane's thumb was beneath the kingdom o' medicine. She was awfulput out about it, 'n' she vows 'n' declares 's she'll die afore sheever asks another doctor to do anythin' f'r her. I guess that's trueenough too, f'r 'f the minister really is gone nothin' ain't nevergoin' to cure her o' little Jane. Mrs. Macy give her some tea, but shewas too used up to drink it. She says little Jane 's gettin' worse 'n'worse. She bit a piece out of a gold-band cup last night, 'n' shegnawed all the jet cherries off o' Gran'ma Mullins' best bonnet whileGran'ma Mullins was to Mrs. Duruy's. "

Miss Clegg paused to eat and drink somewhat. Mrs. Lathrop, who hadfinished her own eating and drinking, sat breathless. 

"I see Mrs. Fisher on my way home. She 's happy as ever. She saysnothin' must do last night but Mr. Fisher must build a flyin'-machinewith John Bunyan to hold the nails when he hammered. Mrs. Fisher saysshe quit holdin' nails afore she'd been married a year 'n' Mr. Fisher's jus' wild now 't he's got a new hand to hold his nails f'r him. Shesays they were tinkerin' on the thing all last evenin' 'n' a good parto' this mornin' 'n' two mattresses to beat 'n' a chair to mend 'snever counted for anythin'. Well--seems 't towards noon Mr. Fisher gotto where he could go down town to get the top part pumped up, 'n'while he was down town what did John Bunyan do but up 'n' put wheelson the bottom part? My! but Mrs. Fisher says 't Mr. Fisher was madwhen he got back 'n' see them wheels. He tied the pumped up part tothe hammer 't was layin' on the garden bench, 'n' then he shook JohnBunyan hard 'n' asked him what in thunder he meant by puttin' wheelson a flyin'-machine, 'n' John Bunyan jus' up 'n' asked him to his facehow under the sun he was 'xpectin' to make the thing go 'f it didn'thave no wheels on it. Mrs. Fisher says she was in behind the kitchenblinds 'n' she was fit to kill herself laughin' to see how mad Mr. Fisher got, --he got so mad 't he backed up 'n' fell over the gardenbench 'n' busted the pumped up part o' the flyin'-machine all hollow. Mrs. Fisher says it finished her to see a flyin'-machine with the toppart all holes 'n' the bottom part all wheels. She says she 's giveJohn Bunyan her father's cuff-button 'n' told him 'f he keeps on 'swell 's he 's begun 't she 'll give him a button f'r the other cuffthe day he's twenty-one. 

"Mrs. Brown was down town buyin' eggs. She says them Leghorns o' herscan't begin to keep up with Henry Ward Beecher. She says, besides, 'tshe hasn't no scraps to feed 'em since he's come, 'n' so the knifecuts two ways. She's mighty glad that the observin' 's goin' to beginto-night, f'r she says she's prayin' Heaven for relief but she ain'tgot much faith left. Mr. Kimball was feelin' mighty funny, 'n' hehollered to her 't she wa'n't the first to have her faith shook byHenry Ward Beecher, but we was all too considerate for her feelin's tolaugh. I wouldn't laugh at a joke o' Mr. Kimball's anyhow. "

"I wish--" said Mrs. Lathrop mildly. 

"It's a curious thing, " continued Susan, --"it's a mighty curious thinghow many folks is give to likin' to hear themselves talk. Mr. Kimball's a sad example o' that kind o' man. I'd sometimes enjoy tostop 'n' exchange a few friendly words with him, but, lor'! I'd neverget a chance. The minister is about all I c'n stand in the talkin'line--'n' you, o' course, Mrs. Lathrop. "

* * * * *

The evening after, as Susan was snapping out her dish-towels, shespied her neighbor meandering back and forth among the cloverblossoms. Later she observed her standing--ruminative and ruminating, so to speak--at the fence. There was always a potent suggestion inMrs. Lathrop's pose, as she leaned and waited, which vastlyaccelerated Miss Clegg's after-dinner movements. In this case lessthan two minutes intervened between the waiting of Mrs. Lathrop andthe answering of her younger friend. 

"Was you to--" the older woman asked, as her eyes were brightened bythe approach of her medium of communication with the world at large. 

"Oh, yes, " replied that lady, "I was to town, 'n' the whole town 'slight-headed 'n' runnin' hither 'n' yon like they was ants bein'stepped on. The town's gone plum crazy over the minister bein' gonealtogether. I do believe the only happy woman in it last night wasGran'ma Mullins, 'n' 'f you want to see happiness, Mrs. Lathrop, you'dought to see Gran'ma Mullins this day. Seems 't Mrs. Sperrit wasdrivin' in early last evenin' 'n' she stopped at Gran'ma Mullins toget one o' the crick stones out o' her horse's shoe, 'n' Gran'maMullins was weepin' on the piazza while little Jane chewed up herspectacle-case, 'n after she got the stone out Mrs. Sperrit jus' up'n' took little Jane home with her. She said 't little Jane could chewall she liked out on the farm, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins said 't she all butfell on her knees at her feet. She was down town this afternoon buyin'two dozen o' cotton an' one dozen o' glue, 'n' she says 't she sh'llspend the rest o' her allotted time in peace 'n' mendin'. 

"But Gran'ma Mullins' joy is more 'n balanced by Mrs. Brown, for Mrs. Brown is clean discouraged. I see her sittin' on a barrel in thegrocery store, 'n' it was a molasses barrel 'n' some 'd run out, butshe hadn't no heart to care. She says 't Henry Ward Beecher neverbudged last night, 'n' so far from that bein' a relief, it led toworse 'n ever, for old Dr. Carter 'n' young Dr. Brown got so hungryobservin' 't they went downstairs, 'n' young Dr. Brown knowed whereeverything was, 'n' as a result they eat up stuff 't Henry WardBeecher never 'd even dreamed existed. They opened jars o' fancypickles 'n' a jug o' rare old rum 'n' played Ned in general. 'N'afterwards they went to bed in the guest-room where Mrs. Brown neverlets any one sleep, 'n' they got right in on top o' her Hottentotpillow-shams 'n' old Dr. Carter tore a sham with his toothpick. 'N', added to all that, Amelia 's furious 'cause she read in a book 'tteaches how to stay married 't a husband's first night out is thefirst rift in the lute, 'n' she was down town buyin' a dictionary so's to be sure what a lute is afore she accuses young Dr. Brown. 'N'there's a man over in Meadville down with a sun-stroke, 'n' they wantDr. Carter to hurry, 'n' they can't seem to make him realize nothin'. He jus' sits there in Mrs. Brown's parlor 'n' shakes his head 'n'smiles 'n' says, 'Oh, that rum, that rum!' over 'n' over. 'N' Mrs. Brown says 't if it wasn't plain from the expression of his face as hemeans it as a compliment she certainly would be real mad, for he must'a' downed two quarts. It 's all jus' awful, 'n' I would 'a' waited'n' walked home with her, only Mrs. Allen come along 'n' I wanted togo with her instead. Mrs. Allen needs some sympathy too, for Polly 'sall broke up over Sam 'n' Felicia Hemans. Mrs. Allen don't hesitate tosay right out't to her order o' thinkin' Sam 'd 'a' showed more sense'f he'd married Mrs. Macy 'cause Mrs. Macy has got a little property'n' it looks doubtful at present if Felicia 's got so much as afather. Mrs. Allen says they was all so used up 't when Mrs. Sperritwas in to-day she jus' traded Brunhilde Susan against the makin' o'Mr. Sperrit's summer shirts, 'n' then went right 'n' bought the cloth'n' took the baby. Mrs. Allen says 's Mrs. Sperrit says 't BrunhildeSusan c'n learn if dogs moo out on the farm, 'n' f'r her part she'drather be responsible f'r any man's baby 'n for one husband'scollar-bands. So Brunhilde Susan 's settled, 'n' Mrs. Allen 's awfulsorry 't she didn't send the cow along with her too, for she says 'tit's harder 'n you'd think to keep a cow content nights in achicken-house. But she didn't think in time, so she lost the chance, 'n' as a result she was down town buyin' thread with the minister'scow on her shoulders. "

Miss Clegg paused for breath. Mrs. Lathrop chewed passively. 

"I must say, though, 't it 's generally admitted 't we've seen thelast o' the minister. To think how he looked the mornin' he left, --inhis wilted collar 'n' that coat 't Deacon White was married in, --'n'all the time his ear-muffs hid away somewhere about him! I wouldn't'a' believed it--not on your honor, Mrs. Lathrop. Hind-sight 's alwaysbetter 'n fore-sight, 'n' we c'n all see now 't we did a mightyfoolish thing givin' him such a easy chance to get out of it. I can'tsee, though, how he's ever goin' to get another place without sendin'to us f'r a good character, 'n' I'm free to confess 't I don't believe't the father of Augustus 'll ever get any praise from the Craigs, noryet will the father o' little Jane from Gran'ma Mullins. The Craigs isawful mournful to think 't they ain't got no kittens from their cat, but owin' to the fact 't he wasn't no kitten kind o' cat he naturallynever had none. Mr. Kimball says mebbe the hairs from his tail 'llturn into suthin' in the well like the hairs in horse's tails do inwaterin'-troughs. But 'f horse's hairs make snakes, I sh'd naturallysuppose 't cat's hairs would make mud-turtles, 'n' it ain't nomud-turtle 't Mrs. Craig wants. She wants suthin' to warm her feet onwinters, 'n' she told me with tears in her eyes 't he never scratchedwhen he was rocked on, 'n' she used to rock on him so often 't byspring he was all wore off in spots 'n' most wore through in someplaces. 

"Mrs. Jilkins was up from Cherry Pond to-day f'r the first time sinceshe took Josephus home with her las' Saturday mornin'. She was awfulsurprised to hear all the bother 't all the rest have been havin'. Shesays 't she ain't had no bother a _tall_. She says 't she whippedJosephus nine times the day 't she took him home with her, 'n' sincethen she's taught him to read 'n' write 'n' sew patchwork 'n' beat upbatter. She says 'f she'd 'a' had Henry Ward Beecher he wouldn't 'a'roamed but once, nor would little Jane 'a' give but one suck, nor Foxbut one yell, nor would Augustus 'a' throwed but one cat down _her_well. Mrs. Craig was standin' right there, 'n' she spoke up prettysharp at that 'n' said 't he hadn't throwed but one cat in her well'n' she wanted that distinctly understood. Mrs. Jilkins jus' laughed, but then some one up 'n' told her about the minister bein' gone f'rgood, 'n' she very quickly changed her tune. 

"That blow 's goin' to fall heaviest on Mrs. Sperrit, though, forshe's got the five littlest ones 's well 's Bobby, 'n' I miss my guess'f she don't have another to-morrow, for Mrs. Brown says 't she'sgoin' to send Henry Ward Beecher out there of an errand jus' so 's tosee if he'll sleep after a ten-mile walk, 'n' every one knows 't she'sjus' doin' it in the hope 't Mrs. Sperrit 'll keep him. "

"Let's go out--" Mrs. Lathrop suggested. 

"It'll be cooler outside, " Susan acquiesced; so they quitted the tableand went out on the porch. 

"Mrs. Brown ain't a bit reconciled about her rare old rum, " she wenton when they were seated; "she's bad enough used up over thepreserves, but the rum she can't seem to get reconciled to. She says't a saltspoonful was a sure cure f'r anythin', 'n' Dr. Carter wasperfectly sound in mind 'n' body 'n' got away with two quarts. "

There was a silence broken only by a frog's far croak. 

"I ain't a doubt but this is the worst hot spell the c'mmunity 's everhad to deal with, " the younger woman remarked after a while, "'n' theresult is 't I'd never recommend no other town to choose such a timeto give their minister a fair field 'n' no favor. I c'n only say onething, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' that is 't I've begun to feel 't I'vemisjudged the minister. I never would 'a' give him credit for anythin'like this. 'N' while I think he'd ought not to 'a' done it, still Imust say 't I can't but admire--if he had it in him to try--how wellhe's carried it off. 

"'N' to think 't, after all, it was our idea 's give him the chance!"

* * * * *

That Friday afternoon--just one week from the forever to be rememberedmeeting of the Sewing Society--Mrs. Lathrop, sleeping the sleep of thestout and elderly in her kitchen rocker, was suddenly aroused to aswaying sense of the world about her by the sound of her name, thesame being pronounced in her neighbor's voice, the key of that voicebeing pitched uncommonly high. 

"Mrs. Lathrop!--Mrs. Lathrop!--oh-h-h, Mrs. _Lathrop_!"

Mrs. Lathrop got to the window as fast as her somewhat benumbedmembers would allow. 

Susan was standing on her own side of the fence, her eyes glowing withexcitement. 

"The minister's come back!"

Mrs. Lathrop simply fell out of the door and down the back steps. Asshe hastened towards the fence, her usual custom led her to hastilysnatch a handful of her favorite blend, and then--

"When--" she gasped. 

"This afternoon, right after lunch. You never hear the like in allyour life! Where do you suppose he was all this week? Just nowhere atall! Out on the farm! Yes, Mrs. Lathrop, " as that worthy clung to thefence for support in her overwhelming astonishment, --"yes, Mrs. Lathrop, he 'n' his wife were out there on the farm all the time. Seems 't that night when Mrs. Allen come in 'n' told 'em 't they'd gotto go on a vacation so early the nex' mornin', they was all upset. They didn't have no money nor no clothes nor no place to go to, 'n'the minister's wife begun to cry jus' 's soon 's Mrs. Allen was gone. Seems she was settin' there cryin' when Mrs. Sperrit drove in, in thecool o' the evenin', to pay her pew-rent in pigs-feet, 'n' what didMrs. Sperrit do but jus' up 'n' ask 'em both to come out to the farm. Told 'em they wouldn't have no board to pay out on the farm 'n' 'tthey could stay 's long 's they liked. It seemed like it was all theycould do, so they arranged it 'n' it all worked fine. Seems they tookthe train to the junction, 'n' Mr. Sperrit met 'em there 'n' drove 'emstraight across country home, 'n' they 've been there ever since, 'n'maybe they'd been there yet, only Mrs. Sperrit is like a lot o' otherpeople in this world, --she's forever goin' to extremes, 'n' shecouldn't be content with jus' the minister 'n' his wife 'n' Bobby, soshe had to keep bringin' home more 'n' more o' the childern, untilthey was so thick out there 't to-day, when Henry Ward Beecherarrived, the minister went to Mr. Sperrit 'n' asked him if he thoughtanybody 'd mind 'f he 'n' his wife come in town 'n' finished theirvacation in their own house. I guess mebbe the Sperrits was some woreout themselves, f'r they jus' told him 't no one could possiblyobject, 'n' then they had the carryall 'n' drove 'em both in townright after dinner. 

"I was down in the square buyin' flypaper, 'n' I heard the commotion'n' run out, 'n'--well, Mrs. Lathrop, you c'n believe me or not jus''s you please--but it was a sight to draw tears to any one's eyes. Folks waved anythin' 't they could grab, 'n' all the boys yelled 'n'cheered. The minister was real touched--he quoted, ''N' there went upa great multitude'--but he never got no further, f'r Deacon Whitejumped up in the band-stand 'n' proposed 'No church Sunday, but adonation party Saturday night. Who bids?' 'n' every one shrieked, 'Aye--Aye. '"

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes kindled slowly but surely. 

"I wish--" she said, biting firmly into a large red one. 

"It's too late now, " said Susan, not unkindly, "it's all over now--all'xcept the donation party, 'n' I don't see how you c'n do much there'nless I bring over the butter 'n' mix it for you. But you mustn'tinterrupt me, Mrs. Lathrop, f'r if you do I never shall get through. 

"So the donation party was decided, 'n' Mrs. Brown's good cookin'heart come out strong 'n' she pledged three pies right then n' there. I put myself down f'r a pan o' biscuit, 'n' Mr. Kimball said hebelieved 's the Aliens would outdo every one 'n' give a whole cow, without no urgin' neither. Mrs. Allen laughed a little, 'n' then Mrs. Macy come up so out o' breath 't it was all o' five minutes afore shecould get out a word. Seemed when she _did_ speak, 't she wasn'ttryin' to give nothin'--she only wanted to know about the minister'sear-muffs, 'n' it appears 't he never took 'em a _tall_. Seems 'tBrunhilde Susan cut teeth on 'em till they was only fit to be used f'rkettle-holders. "

Susan paused for a second. Mrs. Lathrop chewed and waited. In a minutethe narrative flowed on. 

"When every one else was through, Mrs. Sperrit said 't if she couldtake 'Liza Em'ly home with her to help look after the little onesshe'd be willin' to keep 'em a fortnight more 'n' let theminister--'n' his wife--have a real good rest in their own house. Mrs. Maxwell spoke right up 'n' said she c'd have 'Liza Em'ly 'n' welcome, 'n' Mrs. Sweet said she c'd have Rachel Rebecca too. But Mrs. Fishercrowded round in front 'n' said she nor no one couldn't have JohnBunyan not now 'n' not never, f'r he'd weeded 'n' mowed 'n' grafted'n' busted his way right into her heart 'n' she was intendin' to keephim right along 'f the minister'd give his consent. 

"She said 't Mr. Fisher felt jus' 's she did too, 'cause he'd neverbeen so happy 's he's been since he's had John Bunyan to teach thefancy principles o' plain things to. Mr. Fisher come up jus' 's shegot through, 'n' he said whatever she'd said he'd stand to, foralthough John Bunyan was nothin' but a darn fool now, he had themakin' of a man in him, 'n' he--Mr. Fisher--was jus' the one to bringhim out. 

"The crowd was gettin' so big 't folks began to climb up on things tosee over, 'n' the horse was some restless, so Mr. Kimball got up onthe edge o' the waterin'-trough an' said, 'Three cheers for theminister, 'n' may he never know how glad the town is to see him back, ''n' then every one cheered, 'n' Mr. Kimball begin to shake, 'n' jus''s the minister drove off he missed his hold 'n' fell into thewaterin'-trough, 'n' I didn't feel no kind o' interest in lookin' onat his fishin' out, so I come away. "

"I hope--" began Mrs. Lathrop. 

"I do too, " rejoined her friend, "but there ain't no danger. It wasthe edge bein' so slippery 't let him fall in, 'n' I don't wish toseem revengeful, but I mus' say, Mrs. Lathrop, that if anythin' could'a' made a nice end to the minister's vacation, it was the seein' Mr. Kimball get soaked, f'r he ain't had no kind o' sufferin' with it all'n' has just everlastingly enjoyed kitin' around the outside 'n'seein' other folks in trouble. 'N' I've no sympathy with such a naturewhen it does fall into a waterin'-trough, 'n' so I come home. "

Miss Clegg ceased speaking. 

Mrs. Lathrop chewed her clover. 

_An International Love Comedy_

A WOMAN'S WILL

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