[Illustration: MR. LOUIS MINTZ WHAT COMES TO WORK BY US. ] POTASH & PERLMUTTER THEIR COPARTNERSHIP VENTURES AND ADVENTURES BY MONTAGUE GLASS ILLUSTRATED GROSSET & DUNLAPPUBLISHERS :: NEW YORK Copyright, 1909, by The Curtis Publishing CompanyCopyright, 1910, by Howard E. AltemusCopyrighted 1911, by Doubleday, Page & Company. THE COUNTRY LIFE PRESS, GARDEN CITY, N. Y. Potash & Perlmutter CHAPTER I "No, siree, sir, " Abe Potash exclaimed as he drew a check to the orderof his attorney for a hundred and fifty dollars, "I would positively goit alone from now on till I die, Noblestone. I got my stomach full withPincus Vesell already, and if Andrew Carnegie would come to me and tellme he wants to go with me as partners together in the cloak and suitbusiness, I would say 'No, ' so sick and tired of partners I am. " For the twentieth time he examined the dissolution agreement which hadended the firm of Vesell & Potash, and then he sighed heavily and placedthe document in his breast pocket. "Cost me enough, Noblestone, I could assure you, " he said. "A hundred and fifty ain't much, Potash, for a big lawyer like Feldman, "Noblestone commented. Abe flipped his fingers in a gesture of deprecation. "That is the least, Noblestone, " he rejoined. "First and last I bet youI am out five thousand dollars on Vesell. That feller got an idee thatthere ain't nothing to the cloak and suit business but auction pinochleand taking out-of-town customers to the theayter. Hard work is somethingwhich he don't know nothing about at all. He should of been in thebrokering business. " "The brokering business ain't such a cinch neither, " Noblestone retortedwith some show of indignation. "A feller what's in the brokeringbusiness has got his troubles, too, Potash. Here I've been trying tofind an opening for a bright young feller with five thousand dollarscash, y'understand, and also there ain't a better designer in thebusiness, y'understand, and I couldn't do a thing with the proposition. Always everybody turns me down. Either they got a partner already orthey're like yourself, Potash, they just got through with a partnerwhich done 'em up good. " "If you think Pincus Vesell done me up good, Noblestone, " Potash said, "you are mistaken. I got better judgment as to let a lowlife like himget into me, Noblestone. I lost money by him, y'understand, but at thesame time he didn't make nothing neither. Vesell is one of them fellerswhat you hear about which is nobody's enemy but his own. " "The way he talks to me, Potash, " Noblestone replied, "he ain't suchfriends to you neither. " "He hates me worser as poison, " Abe declared fervently, "but that ain'tneither here nor there, Noblestone. I'm content he should be my enemy. He's the kind of feller what if we would part friends, he would comeback every week and touch me for five dollars yet. The feller ain't gotno money and he ain't got no judgment neither. " "But here is a young feller which he got lots of common sense and fivethousand dollars cash, " Noblestone went on. "Only one thing which heain't got. " Abe nodded. "I seen lots of them fellers in my time, Noblestone, " he said. "Everything about 'em is all right excepting one thing and that's alwaysa killer. " "Well, this one thing ain't a killer at all, " Noblestone rejoined, "heknows the cloak and suit business from A to Z, and he's a first-class Anumber one feller for the inside, Potash, but he ain't no salesman. " "So long as he's good on the inside, Noblestone, " Abe said, "it don't dono harm if he ain't a salesman, because there's lots of fellers in thecloak and suit business which calls themselves drummers, y'understandEvery week regular they turn in an expense account as big as a doctor'sbill already, and not only they ain't salesmen, Noblestone, but theydon't know enough about the inside work to get a job as assistantshipping clerk. " "Well, Harry Federmann ain't that kind, Potash, " Noblestone went on. "He's been a cutter and a designer and everything you could think of inthe cloak and suit business. Also the feller's got good backing. He'smarried to old man Zudrowsky's daughter and certainly them people wouldgive him a whole lot of help. " "What people do you mean?" Abe asked. "Zudrowsky & Cohen, " Noblestone answered. "Do you know 'em, Potash?" Abe laughed raucously. "Do I know 'em?" he said. "A question! Them people got a reputationamong the trade which you wouldn't believe at all. Yes, Noblestone, if Iwould take it another partner, y'understand, I would as lief get afeller what's got the backing of a couple of them cut-throats up in SingSing, so much do I think of Zudrowsky & Cohen. " "All I got to say to that, Potash, is that you don't know them people, otherwise you wouldn't talk that way. " "Maybe I don't know 'em as good as some concerns know 'em, Noblestone, but that's because I was pretty lucky. Leon Sammet tells me he wouldn'ttrust 'em with the wrapping paper on a C. O. D. Shipment of twodollars. " Noblestone rose to his feet and assumed an attitude of what he believedto be injured dignity. "I hear enough from you, Potash, " he said, "and some day you will besorry you talk that way about a concern like Zudrowsky & Cohen. If youcouldn't say nothing good about 'em, you should shut up your mouth. " "I could say one thing good about 'em, Noblestone, " Abe retorted, asthe business broker opened the store door. "They ain't ashamed of acouple of good old-time names like Zudrowsky & Cohen. " This was an allusion to the circumstance that Philip Noblestone had oncebeen Pesach Edelstein, and the resounding bang with which the brokerclosed the door behind him, was gratifying evidence to Abe that hisparting shot had found its target. "Well, Noblestone, " Zudrowsky cried, as the broker entered the show-roomof Zudrowsky & Cohen, "what did he say?" "He says he wouldn't consider it at all, " Noblestone answered. "He ain'tin no condition to talk about it anyway, because he feels too sore abouthis old partner, Pincus Vesell. That feller done him up to the tune often thousand dollars. " In Noblestone's scheme of ethics, to multiply a fact by two was to speakthe truth unadorned. "S'enough, Noblestone, " Zudrowsky cried. "If Potash lost so much moneyas all that, I wouldn't consider him at all. One thing you got toremember, Noblestone. Me, I am putting up five thousand dollars forHarry Federmann, and what that feller don't know about business, Noblestone, you could take it from me, would make even _you_ amillionaire, if you would only got it in your head. " Noblestone felt keenly the doubtfulness of Zudrowsky's compliment, butfor a lack of a suitable rejoinder he contented himself by noddinggravely. "So I wouldn't want him to tie up with a feller like Potash, what getsdone up so easy for ten thousand dollars, " Zudrowsky went on. "What Iwould like, Noblestone, is that Harry should go as partners togetherwith some decent, respectable feller which got it good experience in thecloak business and wouldn't be careless with my five thousand dollars. Ineedn't to tell you, Noblestone, if I would let Harry get his hands onit, I might as well kiss myself good-by with that five thousanddollars. " Noblestone waggled his head from side to side and made inarticulateexpressions of sympathy through his nose. "How could you marry off your daughter to a _schafskopf_ likeFedermann?" he asked. "It was a love match, Noblestone, " Zudrowsky explained. "She falls inlove with him, and he falls in love with her. So naturally he ain't nobusiness man, y'understand, because you know as well as I do, Noblestone, a business man ain't got no time to fool away on suchnonsense. " "Sure, I know, " Noblestone agreed. "But what makes Federmann so dumb?He's been in the cloak and suit business all his life, ain't he?" "What's that got to do with it?" Zudrowsky exclaimed. "Cohen and me gotthese here fixtures for fifteen years already, and you could more expectthem tables and racks they should know the cloak and suit business asHarry Federmann. They ain't neither of 'em got no brains, Noblestone, and that's what I want you to get for Harry, --some young feller withbrains, even though he ain't worth much money. " "Believe me, Mr. Zudrowsky, " Noblestone replied. "It ain't such an easymatter these times to find a young feller with brains what ain't got nomoney, Mr. Zudrowsky, and such young fellers don't need no partnersneither. And, anyhow, Mr. Zudrowsky, what is five thousand dollars foran inducement to a business man? When I would go around and tell myclients I got a young feller with five thousand dollars what wants to goin the cloak and suit business, they laugh at me. In the cloak and suitbusiness five thousand dollars goes no ways. " "Five thousand ain't much if you are going to open up as a new beginner, Noblestone, " Zudrowsky replied, "but if you got a going concern, y'understand, five thousand dollars is always five thousand dollars. There's lots of business men what is short of money all the time, Noblestone. Couldn't you find it maybe a young feller which is alreadyestablished in business, y'understand, and what needs _doch_ a littlemoney?" Noblestone slapped his thigh. "I got it!" he said. "I'll go around and see Sam Feder of the KosciuskoBank. " Half an hour later Noblestone sat in the first vice-president's officeat the Kosciusko Bank, and requested that executive officer to favor himwith the names of a few good business men, who would appreciate apartner with five thousand dollars. "I'll tell you the truth, Noblestone, " Mr. Feder said, "we turn down somany people here every day, that it's a pretty hard thing for me toremember any particular name. Most of 'em is good for nothing, eitherfor your purpose or for ours, Noblestone. The idee they got aboutbusiness is that they should sell goods at any price. In figuring thecost of the output, they reckon labor, so much; material, so much; andthey don't take no account of rent, light, power, insurance and soforth. The consequence is, they lose money all the time; and they puttheir competitors in bad too, because they make 'em meet their foolprices. The whole trade is cut up by them fellers and sooner asrecommend one for a partner for your client, I'd advise him to take hismoney and play the ponies with it. " At this juncture a boy entered and handed Mr. Feder a card. "Tell him to come right in, " Feder said, and then he turned toNoblestone. "You got to excuse me for a few minutes, Noblestone, andI'll see you just as soon as I get through. " As Noblestone left the first vice-president's office, he encounteredFeder's visitor, who wore an air of furtive apprehension characteristicof a man making his initial visit to a pawn shop. Noblestone waited onthe bench outside for perhaps ten minutes, when Mr. Feder's visitoremerged, a trifle red in the face. "That's my terms, Mr. Perlmutter, " Feder said. "Well, if I would got to accept such a proposition like that, Mr. Feder, " the visitor declared, "I would sooner bust up first. That's allI got to say. " He jammed his hat down on his head and made for the door. "Now, Mr. Noblestone, I am ready for you, " Feder cried, but his summonsfell on deaf ears, for Noblestone was in quick pursuit of the vanishingPerlmutter. Noblestone overtook him at the corner and touched his elbow. "How do you do, Mr. Perlmutter!" he exclaimed. Perlmutter stopped short and wheeled around. "Huh?" he said. "This is Mr. Sol Perlmutter, ain't it?" Noblestone asked. "No, it ain't, " Perlmutter replied. "My name is Morris Perlmutter, andthe pair of real gold eye-glasses which you just picked up and would letme have as a bargain for fifty cents, ain't no use to me neither. " "I ain't picked up no eye-glasses, " Noblestone said. "No?" Morris Perlmutter rejoined. "Well, I don't want to buy no bluewhite diamond ring neither, y'understand, so if it's all the same to youI got business to attend to. " "So do I, " Noblestone went on, "and this is what it is. Also my name isthere too. " He showed Morris a card, which read as follows: ______________________________________________________ | | | TELEPHONE CONNECTION REAL ESTATE & INSURANCE | | IN ALL ITS BRANCHES | | | | PHILIP NOBLESTONE | | BUSINESS BROKER | | | | G E T A | | P A R T N E R | | | | 594 EAST HOUSTON STREET NEW YORK | |______________________________________________________| "Don't discount them good accounts, Mr. Perlmutter, " he added, "it ain'tnecessary. " "Who told you I want to discount some accounts?" Morris asked. "If I see a feller in a dentist's chair, " Noblestone answered, "I don'tneed to be told he's got the toothache already. " After this Morris was easily persuaded to accept Noblestone's invitationto drink a cup of coffee, and they retired immediately to a neighboringbakery and lunch room. "Yes, Mr. Noblestone, " Morris said, consulting the card. "I give youright about Feder. That feller is worser as a dentist. He's abloodsucker. Fifteen hundred dollars gilt-edged accounts I offer him assecurity for twelve hundred, and when I get through with paying DeWittC. Feinholtz, his son-in-law, what is the bank's lawyer, there wouldn'tbe enough left from that twelve hundred dollars to pay off myoperators. " "That's the way it is when a feller's short of money, " Noblestone said. "Now, if you would got it a partner with backing, y'understand, youwouldn't never got to be short again. " With this introductory sentence, Noblestone launched out upon a seriesof persuasive arguments, which only ended when Morris Perlmutter hadpromised to lunch with Zudrowsky, Harry Federmann and Noblestone atWasserbauer's Café and Restaurant the following afternoon at oneo'clock. For the remainder of the day, Philip Noblestone interviewed as much ofthe cloak and suit trade as he could cover, with respect to MorrisPerlmutter's antecedents, and the result was entirely satisfactory. Heascertained that Morris had worked his way up from shipping clerk, through the various grades, until he had reached the comparativeeminence of head cutter, and his only failing was that he had embarkedin business with less capital than experience. At first he had met withmoderate success, but a dull season in the cloak trade had temporarilyembarrassed him, and the consensus of opinion among his competitors wasthat he had a growing business but was over-extended. Thus when Noblestone repaired to the office of Zudrowsky & Cohen atclosing time that afternoon, he fairly outdid himself extolling MorrisPerlmutter's merits, and he presented so high colored a picture thatZudrowsky deprecated the business broker's enthusiasm. "Say, looky here, Noblestone, " he said, "enough's enough. All I want isa partner for my son-in-law which would got common sense and a littlejudgment. That's all. I don't expect no miracles, y'understand, and theway I understand it from you, this feller Morris Perlmutter is got abusiness head like Andrew Carnegie already and a shape like John Drew. " "I never mentioned his name because I don't know that feller at all, "Noblestone protested. "But Perlmutter is a fine business man, Mr. Zudrowsky, and he's a swell dresser, too. " "A feller what goes to a bank looking for accommodations, " Zudrowskyreplied, "naturally don't put on his oldest clothes, y'understand, butanyhow, Noblestone, if you would be around here at half past twelveto-morrow, I will see that Harry gets here too, and we will go down toWasserbauer's and meet the feller. " It was precisely one o'clock the following day when Morris Perlmutterseated himself at a table in the rear of Wasserbauer's Café andRestaurant. "Yes, sir, right away!" Louis, the waiter, cried, as he deposited aplate of dill pickles on the adjoining table, at which sat a stoutmiddle-aged person with a napkin tucked in his neck. "_Koenigsberger Klops_ is good to-day, Mr. Potash, " Louis announced. "Pushing the stickers, Louis, ain't it?" the man at the next table said. "You couldn't get me to eat no chopped meat which customers left ontheir plates last week already. I never believe in buying seconds, Louis. Give me a piece of roast beef, well done, and a baked potato. " "Right away, Mr. Potash, " Louis said, as he passed on to Perlmutter'stable. "Now, sir, what could I do for you?" "Me, I am waiting here for somebody, " Morris replied. "Bring me a glassof water and we will give our order later. " "Right away!" said Louis, and hustled off to fill Abe Potash's order, whereat Abe selected a dill pickle to beguile the tedium of waiting. Hegrasped it firmly between his thumb and finger, and neatly bisected itwith his teeth. Simultaneously the pickle squirted, and about a quarterof a pint of the acid juice struck Morris Perlmutter in the right eye. "Excuse _me_, " Abe cried. "Excuse me. " "S'all right, " Morris replied. "I seen what you was doing and I shouldof ordered an umbrella instead of a glass of water already. " Abe laughed uproariously. "Dill pickles is uncertain like Paris fashions, " he commented. "Youcould never tell what they would do next. " "I bet yer, " Morris replied. "Last year people was buying silks likethey was crazy, y'understand, and this year you would think silks waspoison. A buyer wouldn't touch 'em at all, and that's the way it goes. " Abe rose with the napkin tucked in his neck, and carrying the dish ofdill pickles with him, he sat down at Morris' table, to which Louisbrought the roast beef a moment later. "I seen you was in the cloak and suit business as soon as I looked atyou, " Abe said. "I guess I'll eat here till your friends come. " "Go ahead, " Morris replied. "It's already quarter past one, and if themfellers don't come soon, I'm going to eat, too. " "What's the use waiting?" Abe said. "Eat anyhow. This roast beef isfine. Try some of it on me. " "Why should I stick you for my lunch?" Morris rejoined. "I see themsuckers ain't going to show up at all, so I guess I'll take a sandwichand a cup of coffee. " He motioned to Louis. "Right away!" Louis cried. "Yes, sir, we got some nice _KoenigsbergerKlops_ to-day _mit Kartoffel Kloes_. " "What d'ye take this gentleman for, anyway, Louis?" Abe asked. "Agarbage can? Give him a nice slice of roast beef well done and a bakedpotato. Also bring two cups of coffee and give it the checks to me. " By a quarter to two Abe and Morris had passed from business matters tofamily affairs, and after they had exchanged cigars and the conversationhad reached a stage where Morris had just accepted an invitation to dineat Abe's house, Noblestone and Zudrowsky entered, with Harry Federmannbringing up in the rear. Harry was evidently in disfavor, and his weak, blond face wore the crestfallen look of a whipped child, for he had beenso occupied with his billing and cooing up town, that he had forgottenhis business engagement. "Hallo, Mr. Perlmutter, " Noblestone cried, and then he caught sight ofMorris' companion and the remains of their generous meal. "I thought youwas going to take lunch with us. " "Do I got to starve, Mr. Who's-this--I lost your card--just because Iwas fool enough to take up your proposition yesterday? I should of knownbetter in the first place. " "But this here young feller, Mr. Federmann, got detained uptown, "Zudrowsky explained. "His wife got took suddenly sick. " "Why, she may have to have an operation, " Noblestone said in a suddenburst of imaginative enthusiasm. "You should tell your troubles to a doctor, " Abe said, rising from thetable. "And besides, Noblestone, Mr. Perlmutter don't want no partnerjust now. " "But, " Perlmutter began, "but, Mr. Potash----" "That is to say, " Abe interrupted, "he don't want a partner with nobusiness experience. Me, I got business experience, as you know, Mr. Noblestone, and so we fixed it up we would go as partners together, provided after we look each other up everything is all right. " He looked inquiringly at Perlmutter, who nodded in reply. "And if everything _is_ all right, " Perlmutter said, "we will start upnext week. " "Under the firm name, " Abe added, "of Potash & Perlmutter. " CHAPTER II In less than ten days the new firm of Potash & Perlmutter were doingbusiness in Abe Potash's old quarters on White Street with the additionof the loft on the second floor. Abe had occupied the grade floor of anold-fashioned building, and agreeable to Morris' suggestion themanufacturing and cutting departments were transferred to the secondfloor, leaving Abe's old quarters for show-room, office and shippingpurposes. It was further arranged that Abe's share of the copartnershipwork should be the selling end and that Morris should take charge of themanufacturing. Both partners supervised the accounting and creditdepartment with the competent assistance of Miss R. Cohen, who hadserved the firm of Vesell & Potash in the same capacity. For more than a year Morris acted as designer, and with one or twounfortunate exceptions, the styles he originated had been entirelysatisfactory to Potash & Perlmutter's growing trade. The one or two unfortunate exceptions, however, had been a source ofsome loss to the firm. First, there were the tourists' coats which costPotash & Perlmutter one thousand dollars; then came the purpledirectoires; total, two thousand dollars charged off to profit and losson the firm's books. "No, Mawruss, " Abe said, when his partner spoke of a new model, which hetermed the Long Branch Coatee, "I don't like that name. Anyhow, Mawruss, I got it in my mind we should hire a designer. While I figure it thatyou don't cost us nothing extra, Mawruss, a couple of stickers like themtourists and that directoire model puts us in the hole two thousanddollars. On the other hand, Mawruss, if we get a good designer, Mawruss, all we pay him is two thousand a year and we're through. " "I know, Abe, " Morris replied, "but designers can turn out stickers, too. " "Sure, they can, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "but they got a job to look outfor, Mawruss, while you are one of the bosses here, whether you turn outstickers or not. No, Mawruss, I got enough of stickers already. I'mgoing to look out for a good, live designer, a smart young feller likeLouis Grossman, what works for Sammet Brothers. I bet you they done anincreased business of twenty per cent. With that young feller's designs. I met Ike Gotthelf, buyer for Horowitz & Finkelbein, and he tells me hegave Sammet Brothers a two-thousand-dollar order a couple of weeks ago, including a hundred and twenty-two garments of that new-style they gotout, which they call the Arverne Sacque, one of Louis Grossman's newmodels. " "Is that so?" said Morris. "Well, you know what I would do if I was you, Abe? I'd see Louis Grossman and offer him ten dollars a week more thanSammet Brothers pays him, and the first thing you know he'd be workingfor us and not for Sammet Brothers. " "You got a great head, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined ironically. "You got thesame idee all of a sudden what I think about a week ago already. I seenLouis Grossman yesterday, and offered him fifteen, not ten. " "And what did he say?" "He says he's working by Sammet Brothers under a contract, Mawruss, whatdon't expire for a year yet, and they're holding up a quarter of hiswages under the contract, which he is to forfeit if he don't work itout. " "Don't you believe it, Abe, " Morris broke in. "He's standing out formore money. " "Is he?" said Abe with some heat. "Well, I seen the contract, Mawruss, so either I'm a liar or not, Mawruss, ain't it?" Here they were interrupted by the entrance of a customer, Ike Herzog, ofthe Bon Ton Credit Outfitting Company. "Ah, Mr. Herzog!" Abe cried, rising to his feet and extending both handsin greeting. "Glad to see you. Ain't it a fine weather?" Mr. Herzog grunted in reply. "Potash, " he said, "when I give you that order last week, I don't knowwhether I didn't buy a big lot of your style fifty-nine-ten, ain't it?" "Yes, you did, " said Abe. "Well, " said Herzog, "I want to cancel that part of the order. " "Cancel it!" Abe cried. "Why, what's the matter with them garments?Ain't the samples made up right?" "Sure, they're made up right, " said Herzog, "only I seen something whatI like better. It's about the same style, only more attractive. I meanSammet Brothers' style forty-one-fifty--their new Arverne Sacque. " "Mr. Herzog!" Abe cried. Herzog raised a protesting palm. "Now, Potash, " he said, "you know whatever I buy in staples you get thepreference; but when anybody's got a specialty like that Arverne Sacque, what's the use of talking?" He shook hands cordially. "I'll be around to see you in about a week, " he said, and the nextmoment the door closed behind him. "Well, Mawruss, that settles it, " said Abe, putting on his hat. "When welose a good customer like Ike Herzog, I gets busy right away. " "Where are you going, Abe?" Morris asked. Abe struggled into his overcoat and seized his umbrella. "Round to Sammet Brothers, " he replied. "I'm going to get that youngfeller away from them if I got to pay 'em a thousand dollars to boot. " Leon Sammet, head of the copartnership of Sammet Brothers, sat in thefirm's sample room and puffed gloomily at a Wheeling stogy. His brother, Barney Sammet, stood beside him reading aloud from a letter which heheld in his hand. "'Gents, '" he said, "'your shipment of the fourteenth instant to hand, and in reply will say we ain't satisfied with nothing but styleforty-one-fifty. Our Miss Kenny is a perfect thirty-six, and she can'tbreathe in them Empires style 3022, in sizes 36, 38 or 40. What is thematter with you, anyway? We are returning them via Eagle Dispatch. Weare yours truly, The Boston Store, Horowitz & Finkelbein, Proprietors. '" "Yes, Barney, " Leon commented, "that's a designer for you, that LouisGrossman. His Arverne Sacques is all right, Barney, but the rest is nix. He's a one garment man. Tell Miss Aaronstamm to bring in her book. Iwant to send them Boston Store people a letter. " A moment later Miss Aaronstamm entered, and sat down at a sample table. "Write to the Boston Store, " Leon Sammet said. "'Horowitz & Finkelbein, Proprietors, Gents'--got that? 'We received your favor of the eighteenthinstant, and in reply would say we don't accept no styles what youreturn. ' Got that? 'If your Miss Kenny can't breathe in them garmentsthat ain't our fault. They wasn't made to breathe in; they was made tosell. You say she is a perfect thirty-six. How do we know that? We ain'tnever measured her, and we don't believe you have, neither. Anyway, weain't taking back no goods what we sold once. Yours truly. ' That's all, Miss Aaronstamm. I guess that'll fix 'em. What, Barney?" Barney nodded gloomily. "I tell you, Barney, " Leon went on, "I wish I never seen that LouisGrossman. He certainly got into us good and proper. " "I don't know, Leon, " said Barney. "That Arverne Sacque was a recordseller. " "Arverne Sacque!" Leon cried. "That's all everybody says. We can't makea million dollars out of one garment alone, Barney. We can't even makeexpenses. I'm afraid we'll go in the hole over ten thousand dollars ifwe don't get rid of him. " "But we can't get rid of him, " said Barney. "We got a contract withhim. " "Don't I know it?" said Leon, sadly. "Ain't I paid Henry D. Feldman ahundred dollars for drawing it up? He's got us, Barney. Louis Grossman'sgot us and no mistake. Well, I got to go up to the cutting-room and seewhat he's doing now, Barney. He can spoil more piece-goods in an hourthan I can buy in a week. " He rose wearily to his feet and was half-way to the stairs in the rearof the store when Abe Potash entered. "Hallo, Leon!" Abe called. "Don't be in a rush. I want to talk to you. " Leon returned to the show-room and shook hands limply with Abe. It was acompetitor's, not a customer's, shake. "Well, Abe, " he said, "how's business?" "If we got a good designer like you got, Leon, " Abe replied, "wewould----" "A good designer!" Barney broke in. "Why----" His involuntary disclaimer ended almost where it began with a furtive, though painful, kick from his elder brother. "A good designer, Abe, " Leon went on hastily, "is a big asset, and LouisGrossman is a first-class A Number One designer. We done a tremendousspring business through Louis. I suppose you heard about our styleforty-one-fifty?" Abe nodded. "Them Arverne Sacques, " he said. "Yes, I heard about it from everybody Imeet. He must be a gold-mine, that Louis Grossman. " "He is, " Leon continued. "Our other styles, too, he turns out wonderful. Our Empire models what he designs for us, Abe, I assure you is alsomaking a tremendous sensation. You ought to see the letter we got thismorning from Horowitz & Finkelbein. " Barney blew his nose with a loud snort. "I guess I'll go upstairs, and see what the boys is doing in thecutting-room, Leon, " he said, and made a hasty exit. "Not that Louis Grossman ain't a good cutting-room foreman, too, Abe, "said Leon, "but we're just getting in some new piece-goods and Barneywants to check 'em off. But I ain't asked you yet what we can do foryou? A recommendation, maybe? Our credit files is open to you, Abe. " Abe pushed his hat back from his forehead and mopped his brow. Then hesat down and lit a cigar. "Leon, " he commenced, "what's the use of making a lot of talk about it. I'm going to talk to you man to man, Leon, and no monkey-business aboutit nor nothing. I'm going to be plain and straightforward, Leon, andtell it to you right from the start what I want. I don't believe in nobeating bushes around, Leon, and when I say a thing I mean it. I got totalk right out, Leon. That's the kind of man I am. " "All right, Abe, " Leon said. "Don't spring it on me too sudden, though. " "Well, " Abe continued, "it's this way. " He gave one last puff at his cigar. "Leon, " he said, "how much will you take for Louis Grossman?" "Take!" Leon shouted. "Take! Why, Abe----" He stopped suddenly, and, recovering his composure just in the nick oftime, remained silent. "I know, Leon, he's a valuable man, " Abe said earnestly, "but I'mwilling to be fair, Leon. Of course I ain't a hog, and I don't think youare. " "No, I ain't, " Leon replied quite calmly; "I ain't a hog, and so I say Iwouldn't take nothing for him, Abe, because, Abe, if I told you what I_would_ take for him, Abe, then, maybe, you might have reason forcalling me a hog. " "Oh, no, I wouldn't, Leon, " Abe protested. "I told you I know he's avaluable man, so I want you should name a price. " "_I_ should name a price!" Leon cried. "Why, Abe, I'm surprised at you. If I go to a man to sell something what I like to get rid of it, and hedon't want, then I name the price. But if a man comes to me to buysomething what I want to keep, and what he's got to have, Abe, then _he_names the price. Ain't it?" Abe looked critically at the end of his smoldering cigar. "Well, Leon, " he said at length, "if I must name a price, I suppose Imust. Now I know you will think me crazy, Leon, but I want to get a gooddesigner bad, Leon, and so I say"--here he paused to note theeffect--"_five hundred dollars_. " Leon held out his hand. "I guess you got to excuse me, Abe, " he said. "I'd like it first rate tostay here and visit with you all morning but I got work to do, and so Ihope you'll excuse me. " "Seven hundred and fifty, " Abe said. "Fifteen hundred dollars, " Leon replied quite firmly. For twenty minutes Abe's figure rose and Leon's fell until they finallymet at ten hundred thirty-three, thirty-three. "He's worth it, Abe, believe me, " said Leon, as they shook hands on thebargain. "And now let's fix it up right away. " Half an hour later, Abe, Louis Grossman and Leon Sammet entered thespacious law offices of Henry D. Feldman, who bears the same advisoryrelation to the cloak and suit trade as Judge Gary did to the steel andiron business. The drawing of the necessary papers occupied the better part of the dayand it was not until three o'clock in the afternoon that the transactionwas complete. By its terms Sammet Brothers in consideration of $1, 033. 33paid by Potash & Perlmutter, released Louis Grossman from his contract, and Louis entered into a new agreement with Potash & Perlmutter at anadvance of a thousand a year over the compensation paid him by SammetBrothers. In addition he was to receive from Potash & Perlmutter fiveper cent. Of the profits of their business, payable weekly, thearrangement to be in force for one year, during which time neitheremployer nor employee could be rid one of the other save by mutualconsent. "It comes high, Mawruss, " Abe said to his partner, after he had returnedto the store, "but I guess Louis's worth it. " "I hope so, " Morris replied. "Now we can make up some of them ArverneSacques. " "No, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "I'm sorry to say we can't, because, by theagreement what Henry D. Feldman drew up, Sammet Brothers has the soleright to make up and sell the Arverne Sacques; but I seen to it, Mawruss, that we got the right to make up and sell every other garmentwhat Louis Grossman originated for them this season. " He smiled triumphantly at his partner. "And, " he concluded, "he's coming to work Monday morning. " At the end of three disillusionizing weeks Abe Potash and MorrisPerlmutter sat in the show-room of their place of business. Abe's hatwas tilted over his eyes and he whistled a tuneless air. Morris wasbiting his nails. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe said at length, "when we're stuck we're stuck;ain't it? What's the use of sitting here like a couple of mummies; ain'tit?" Morris ceased biting his nails. "Yes, Abe, " he said, "ten hundred and thirty-three, thirty-three for adesigner what couldn't design paper-bags for a delicatessen store. Ibelieve he must have took lessons in designing from a correspondenceschool. " "Believe me, Mawruss, he learned it by telephone, " Abe replied. "Butcussing him out won't do no good, Mawruss. The thing to do now is to getbusy and turn out some garments what we can sell. Them masqueradecostumes what he gets up you couldn't sell to a five-and-ten-centstore. " "All right, " Morris said. "Let's have another designer and leave Louisto do the cutting. " "_Another_ designer!" Abe exclaimed. "No, Mawruss, you're a good enoughdesigner for me. I always said it, Mawruss, you're a first-class ANumber One designer. " Thus encouraged, Morris once more took up the work of the firm'sdesigning, and he labored with the energy of despair, for the season wasfar spent. At length he evolved four models that made Abe's eyes fairlybulge. "That's snappy stuff, Mawruss, " he said, as he examined the completedsamples one morning. "I bet yer they sell like hot cakes. " Abe's prophecy more than justified itself, and in ten days they werecompletely swamped with orders. Abe and Morris went around wearingsmiles that only relaxed when they remembered Louis Grossman and hishide-bound agreement, under which he drew five per cent. Of the firm'sprofits and sixty dollars a week. "Anyhow, Mawruss, we'll get some return from Louis Grossman, " Abe said. "I advertised in the Daily Cloak and Suit Record yesterday them fourstyles of yours as the four best sellers of the season, originated bythe creator of the Arverne Sacque. Ike Herzog was in the first thingthis morning and bought two big lots of each one of the models. Ike's agreat admirer of Louis Grossman, Mawruss. I bet yer when Sammet Brotherssaw that ad they went crazy; ain't it?" "But, " Morris protested, "why should Louis Grossman get the credit formy work?" "Because, Mawruss, you know them Arverne Sacques is the best sellers putout in the cloak and suit business this year, " Abe replied. "Andbesides, Mawruss, we may be suckers, but that ain't no reason why SammetBrothers should know it. " "Don't worry, Abe, " said Morris; "they know they stuck us good andplenty when they released Louis Grossman. " "Do they?" Abe rejoined. "Well, they don't know it unless you told 'em. Louis Grossman won't tell 'em and I didn't tell 'em when I met Leon andBarney at lunch to-day. " "What did you tell 'em!" Morris asked, somewhat alarmed. "I told 'em, Mawruss, that the season is comparatively young yet, but wealready made from ten to twenty per cent. More sales by our newdesigner. I told Leon them new styles what Louis Grossman got up for usis selling so big we can't put 'em out fast enough. " "And what did Leon say?" Morris asked. "He didn't say nothing, " Abe replied, "but he looked like his bestcustomer had busted up on him. Then I showed him the order what we gotfrom Ike Herzog, and he started in right away to call Barney down forgoing home early the day before. I tell you, Mawruss, he was all brokeup. " "I know, Abe, " Morris commented, "that's all right, too, but, all thesame, we ain't got much of a laugh on them two boys, so long as LouisGrossman loafs away upstairs drawing sixty dollars a week and five percent. Of the profits. " "Well, " Abe replied, "what are you going to do about it? Henry D. Feldman drew up the contract, and you know, Mawruss, contracts whatHenry D. Feldman makes nobody can break. " "Can't they?" Morris cried. "Well, if Henry D. Feldman made it can'tHenry D. Feldman break it? What good is the lawyer, anyhow, what can'tget us out of the contract what he fixed up himself?" Abe pondered over the situation for five minutes. "You're right, Mawruss, " he said at length; "I'll go and see Henry D. Feldman the first thing to-morrow morning. " The next morning Leon Sammet sat at his roll-top desk in his privateoffice, while Barney went over the morning mail. "Hallo, " Barney cried, "here's a check from Horowitz & Finkelbein forthe full amount of their bill, Leon. I guess they thought better of thatreturn shipment they made of them bum garments that Louis Grossmandesigned. They ain't made no deduction on account of it. " "Bum garments, nothing, " Leon commented. "Them garments was all right, Barney. I guess we didn't know how to treat Louis Grossman when heworked by us. Look at the big success he's making by Potash &Perlmutter. I bet yer they're five thousand ahead on the season's salesalready. We thought they was suckers when they paid us ten thirty-three, thirty-three for him, but I guess the shoe pinches on the other foot, Barney. I wish we had him back, that's all. Them four new designs whathe made for Potash & Perlmutter is tremendous successes. What did hedone for us, Barney? One garment, the Arverne Sacque, and I bet yer themfour styles will put the Arverne Sacque clean out of business. " "Well, Leon, " said Barney, "you traded him off so smart, why don't youget him back? Why don't you see him, Leon?" "I _did_ see him, " said Leon. "I called at his house last night. " "And what did he say?" Barney asked. "He said he's under contract, as you know, with Potash & Perlmutter, andthat if we can get him out of it he's only too glad to come back to us. But Henry D. Feldman drew up that contract, Barney, and you know as wellas I do, Barney, that what Henry D. Feldman draws up is drawn up forkeeps, ain't it?" "There's loopholes in every contract, Leon, " said Barney, "and a smartlawyer like Henry D. Feldman can find 'em out quick enough. Why don'tyou go right round and see Henry D. Feldman? Maybe he can fix it so asto get Louis back here. " Leon shut down his roll-top desk and seized his hat. "That's a good idea, Barney, " he said. "I guess I'll take your advice. " It is not so much to know the law, ran Henry D. Feldman's motto, paraphrasing a famous dictum of Judge Sharswood, as to look, act andtalk as though you knew it. To this end Mr. Feldman seldom employed aword of one syllable, if it had a synonym of three or four syllables, and such phrases as _res gestæ_, _scienter_, and _lex fori delicti_ werethe very life of his conversation with clients. "The information which you now disclose, Mr. Sammet, " he said, afterLeon had made known his predicament, "is all _obiter dicta_. " Leon blushed. He imagined this to be somewhat harsh criticism of theinnocent statement that he thought Potash & Perlmutter could be bluffedinto releasing Louis Grossman. "_Imprimis_, " Mr. Feldman went on, "I have not been consulted by Mr. Grossman about what he desires done in the matter, but, speaking _excathedra_, I am of the opinion that some method might be devised forrescinding the contract. " "You mean we can get Potash & Perlmutter to release him?" "Precisely, " said Mr. Feldman, "and in a very elementary and efficaciousfashion. " "Well, I ain't prepared to pay so much money at once, " said Leon. Now, when it came to money matters, Henry D. Feldman's language could becolloquial to the point of slang. "What's biting you now?" he said. "I ain't going to charge you too much. Leave it to me, and if I deliver the goods it will cost you two hundredand fifty dollars. " Leon sighed heavily, but he intended getting Louis back at all costs, not, however, to exceed ten thirty-three, thirty-three. "Well, I ain't kicking none if you can manage it, " he replied. "Tell ushow to go about it. " Straightway Mr. Feldman unfolded a scheme which, stripped of itstechnical phraseology, was simplicity itself. He rightly conjecturedthat the most burdensome feature of the contract, so far as Potash &Perlmutter were concerned, was the five per cent. Share of the profitsthat fell to Louis Grossman each week. He therefore suggested that Louisapproach Abe Potash and request that, instead of five per cent. Of theprofits, he be paid a definite sum each week, for the cloak and suitbusiness has its dull spells between seasons, when profits occasionallyturn to losses. Thus Louis could advance as a reason that he would feelsafer if he be paid, say, twenty dollars a week the year round in lieuof his uncertain share of the profits. "Abe Potash will jump at that, " Leon commented. "I anticipate that he will, " Mr. Feldman went on, "and then, after hehas paid Mr. Grossman the first week's installment it will constitute arescission of the old contract and a substitution of a new one, whichwill be a contract of hiring from week to week. At the conclusion of thefirst week their contractual relations can be severed at the option ofeither party. " "But I don't want them to do nothing like that, " Leon said. "I just wantLouis to quit his job with Potash & Perlmutter and come and work by us. " "Look a-here, Sammet, " Feldman broke in impatiently. "I can't waste awhole morning talking to a boob that don't understand the Englishlanguage. You're wise to the part about Louis Grossman asking for twentydollars a week steady, instead of his share of the proceeds, ain't you?" Leon nodded. "Then if Potash falls for it, " Feldman concluded, "as soon as Grossmangets the first twenty out of him he can throw up his job on the spot. See?" Leon nodded again. "Then clear out of this, " said Feldman and pushed a button on his deskto inform the office-boy that he was ready for the next client. As Leon passed through the outer office he encountered Ike Herzog of theBon Ton Credit Outfitting Company, who was solacing himself with theDaily Cloak and Suit Record in the interval of his waiting. "Good morning, Mr. Herzog, " Leon exclaimed. "So you got your troubles, too. " "I ain't got no troubles, Leon, " Ike Herzog said, "but I got to use alawyer in my business once in awhile. Just now I'm enlarging my place, and I got contracts to make and new people to hire. I hope _you_ ain'tgot no law suits nor nothing. " "Law suits ain't in my line, Mr. Herzog, " Leon said. "Once in awhile Ichange my working people, too. That's why I come here. " "Sometimes you change 'em for the worse, Leon, " Herzog commented, indicating Abe Potash's effective ad with a stubby forefinger. "Youcertainly made a mistake when you got rid of Louis Grossman. He'sturning out some elegant stuff for Potash & Perlmutter. " Leon nodded gloomily. "Well, we all make mistakes, Mr. Herzog, " he said, "and that's why wegot to come here. " "That's so, " Herzog agreed, as Leon opened the door. "I hope I ain'tmaking no mistake in what _I'm_ going to do. " "I hope not, " Leon said as he passed out. "Good morning. " Ike Herzog's interview with Henry D. Feldman was short and very much tohis satisfaction, for when he emerged from Feldman's sanctum, to findAbe Potash waiting without, he could not forbear a broad smile. Abenodded perfunctorily and a moment later was closeted with the oracle. "Mr. Feldman, " he said, "I come to ask you an advice, and as I'm prettybusy this morning, do me the favor and leave out all them _caveatemptors_. " "Sure thing, " Feldman replied. "Tell me all about it. " "Well, then, Mr. Feldman, " said Abe, "I want to get rid of LouisGrossman. " Mr. Feldman almost jumped out of his chair. "I want to fire Louis Grossman, " Abe repeated. "You remember that youdrew me up a burglar-proof contract between him and us a few weeks ago, and now I want you to be the burglar and bust it up for me. " Feldman touched the button on his desk. "Bring me the draft of the contract between Potash & Perlmutter andLouis Grossman that I dictated last month, " he said to the boy whoanswered. In a few minutes the boy returned with a large envelope. He wasinstructed never to come back empty-handed when asked to bring anything, and, in this instance the envelope held six sheets of folded legal cap, some of which contained the score of a pinochle game, played afteroffice hours on Saturday afternoon between the managing clerk and theprocess-server. Feldman put the envelope in his pocket and retired to a remote corner ofthe room. There he examined the contents of the envelope and, knittinghis brows into an impressive frown, he took from the well-stockedshelves that lined the walls book after book of digests and reports. Occasionally he made notes on the back of the envelope, and after thespace of half an hour he returned to his chair and prepared to deliverhimself of a weighty opinion. "In the first place, " he said, "this man Grossman ain't incompetent inhis work, is he?" "Incompetent!" Abe exclaimed. "Oh, no, he ain't incompetent. He'scompetent enough to sue us for five thousand dollars after we fire him, if that's what you mean. " "Then I take it that you don't want to discharge him for incompetenceand risk a law suit, " Mr. Feldman went on. "Now, before we go on, howmuch does his share of your profits amount to each week?" "About thirty dollars in the busy season, " Abe replied. "Then here's your scheme, " said Feldman. "You go to Grossman and say:'Look a-here, Grossman, this business of figuring out profits each weekis a troublesome piece of bookkeeping. Suppose we call your share of theprofits forty dollars a week and let it go at that. ' D'ye supposeGrossman would take it?" "Would a cat eat liver?" said Abe. "Well, then, " Feldman now concluded, "after Grossman accepts the offer, and you pay him the first installment of forty dollars you'resubstituting a new weekly contract in place of the old yearly one, andyou can fire Grossman just as soon as you have a mind to. " "But suppose he sues me, anyhow?" said Abe. "If he does, " Feldman replied. "I won't charge you a cent; otherwiseit'll be two hundred and fifty dollars. " He touched the bell in token of dismissal. "This fellow, Grossman, is certainly a big money-maker, " he said tohimself, after Abe had gone, "_for me_. " The following Saturday Abe sat in the show-room making up the weeklypayroll, and with his own hand he drew a check to the order of LouisGrossman for forty dollars. "Mawruss, " he said, "do me the favor and go upstairs to Louis Grossman. You know what to say to him. " "Why should _I_ go, Abe?" Morris said. "You know the whole plan. You sawFeldman. " "But it don't look well for me, " Abe rejoined. "Do me the favor and goyourself. " Morris shrugged his shoulders and departed, while Abe turned to thepages of the Daily Cloak and Suit Record to bridge over the anxiousperiod of Morris' absence. The first item that struck his eye appearedunder the heading, "Alterations and Improvements. " "The Bon Ton Credit Outfitting Company, Isaac Herzog, Proprietor, " itread, "is about to open a manufacturing department, and will, on andafter June 1, do all its own manufacturing and alterations in theenlarged store premises, Nos. 5940, 5942 and 5946 Second Avenue. " Abe laid down the paper with a sigh. "There's where we lose another good customer, " he said as Morrisreturned. A wide grin was spread over Morris' face. "Well, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Yes, Abe, " Morris replied. "Ten hundred and thirty-three, thirty-threeyou paid for him. And now you must pay him forty dollars a week. _I_ain't so generous, Abe, believe me. I settled with him fortwenty-seven-fifty. " "Well, Mawruss, it's only for one week, " Abe protested. "I know, " said Morris, "but why should _he_ get the benefit of it?" "Did you have much of a time getting him to take it?" Abe asked. "It was like this, " Morris explained. "I told him what you said about alump sum in place of profits and asked him to name his price, and thefirst thing he says was twenty-seven-fifty. " "And you let him have it for that?" Abe cried. "You're a business man, Mawruss, I must say. I bet yer he would have took twenty-five. " He tore up the check for forty dollars and drew a new one fortwenty-seven-fifty. "Here, Mawruss, " he said, "take it up to him like a good feller. " It was precisely noon when Morris delivered the check to Louis Grossman, and it was one o'clock when Louis went out to lunch. Three o'clock struck before Abe first noted his absence. "Ain't that feller come back from his dinner yet, Mawruss?" he asked. "No, " Morris replied. "I wonder what can be keeping him. He generallytakes half an hour for his dinner. " At this juncture the telephone bell rang in the rear of the store andAbe answered it. "Hello, " he said; "yes, this is Potash & Perlmutter. Oh, hello, Leon, what can we do for you?" "I want to speak to Louis Grossman. Can you call him to the 'phone?"Leon said. "Louis ain't in, " Abe said. "Do you want to leave a message for him?" "Well, " Leon hesitated, "the fact is--we had an appointment with himfor two o'clock over here, and he ain't showed up yet. " "Appointment with Louis!" Abe said. "Why, what should you have anappointment with Louis for, Leon?" "Well, " Leon stammered, "I--now--got to see him--now--about them ArverneSacques. " "Oh!" Abe said. "I understand. Well, he went to lunch about twelveo'clock, and he ain't come back yet. Is there anything what we can dofor you, Leon?" But Sammet had hung up the receiver without waiting for furtherconversation. At four o'clock the telephone rang again, and once more Abe answered it. "Hello, " he said. "Yes, this is Potash & Perlmutter. Oh! hello, Leon!What can we do for you _now_?" "Abe, " Leon said, "Louis ain't showed up yet. Has he showed up at yourplace yet?" "No, he ain't, Leon, " Abe replied. "You seem mighty anxious to see him. Why, what for should I try to prevent him speaking to you? He ain'there, I tell you. All right, Leon; then I'm a liar. " He hung up the receiver with a bang, and an hour later when Morris andhe locked up the place, Louis' absence remained a complete mystery tohis employers. On Monday morning Abe and Morris opened the store at seven-thirty, andwhile Morris examined the mail, Abe took up the Daily Cloak and SuitRecord and scanned the business-trouble column. There were no failuresof personal or firm interest to Abe, so he passed on to the new-businesscolumn. The first item caused him to gasp, and he almost swallowed thebutt of his cigar. It read: A partnership has this day been formed between Isaac Herzog and Louis Grossman, to carry on the business of the Bon Ton Credit Outfitting Company, under the same firm name. It is understood that Mr. Grossman will have charge of the designing and manufacturing end of the concern. He handed the paper over to Morris and lit a fresh cigar. "Another sucker for Louis Grossman, " he said, "and I bet yer Henry D. Feldman drew up the copartnership papers. " CHAPTER III When Mr. Siegmund Lowenstein, proprietor of the O'Gorman-HendersonDry-Goods Company of Galveston, Texas, entered Potash & Perlmutter'sshow-room, he expected to give only a small order. Mr. Lowensteinusually transacted his business with Abe Potash, who was ratherconservative in matters of credit extension, more especially since Mr. Lowenstein was reputed to play auction pinochle with poor judgment andfor high stakes. Therefore, Mr. Lowenstein intended to buy a few staples, specialties ofPotash & Perlmutter, and to reserve the balance of his spring orders forother dealers who entertained more liberal credit notions than did AbePotash. Much to his gratification, however, he was greeted by MorrisPerlmutter. "Ah, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said; "glad to see you. Is Mr. Potash in?" "He's home, sick, to-day, " Morris replied. Mr. Lowenstein clucked sympathetically. "You don't say so, " he murmured. "That's too bad. What seems to be thetrouble?" "He's been feeling mean all the winter, " Morris replied. "The doctorsays he needs a rest. " "That's always the way with them hard-working fellers, " Mr. Lowensteinwent on. "I'm feeling pretty sick myself, I assure you, Mr. Perlmutter. I've been working early and late in my store. We never put in such aseason before, and we done a phenomenal holiday business. We took stocklast week and we're quite cleaned out. I bet you we ain't got stuck asingle garment in any line--cloaks, suits, clothing or furs. " "I'm glad to hear it, " Morris said. "And we expect this season will be a crackerjack, too, " he continued. "Ihad to give a few emergency orders to jobbers down South before I leftGalveston, we had such an early rush of spring trade. " "Is that so?" Morris commented. "I wish we could say the same in NewYork. " "You don't tell me!" Mr. Lowenstein rejoined. "Why, I was over byGarfunkel and Levy just now, and Mr. Levy says he is almost too busy. Ilooked over their line and I may place an order with them, although theyain't got too good an assortment, Mr. Perlmutter. " "Far be it from me to knock a competitor's line, Mr. Lowenstein, " Morriscommented, "but I honestly think they get their designers off of EllisIsland. " "Well, " Mr. Lowenstein conceded, "of course I don't say they got so goodan assortment what you have, Mr. Perlmutter, but they got a liberalcredit policy. " "Why, what's the matter with _our_ credit policy?" Morris asked. "Nothing, " Mr. Lowenstein replied. "Only a merchant like me, what wantsto enlarge his business, needs a little better terms than thirty days. Ain't it? I'm improving my departments all the time, and I got to buymore fixtures, lay in a better stock and even build a new wing to mystore building. All this costs money, Mr. Perlmutter, as you know, andcontractors must be paid strictly for cash. Under the circumstances, Ineed ready money, and, naturally, the house what gives me the mostgenerous credit gets my biggest order. " "Excuse me for a moment, " Morris broke in, "I think I hear thetelephone. " He walked to the rear of the store, where the telephone bell had beentrilling impatiently. "Hello, " he said, taking the receiver off the hook. "Hello, " said a voice from the other end of the line. "Is this Potash &Perlmutter?" "It is, " said Morris. "Well, this is Garfunkel & Levy, " the voice went on. "We understand Mr. Lowenstein, of Galveston, is in your store. Will you please and call himto the 'phone for a minute?" "This ain't no public pay station, " Morris cried. "And besides, Mr. Lowenstein just left here. " He banged the receiver onto the hook and returned at once to the frontof the store. "Now, Mr. Lowenstein, " he said, "what can I do for you?" And two hours later Mr. Lowenstein left the store with the duplicate ofa twenty-four-hundred-dollar order in his pocket, deliveries to commencewithin five days; terms, ninety days net. "Well, Abe, " Morris said the next day as his partner, Abe Potash, entered the show-room, "how are you feeling to-day?" "Mean, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I feel mean. The doctor says I need arest. He says I got to go away to the country or I will maybe breakdown. " "Is _that_ so?" said Morris, deeply concerned. "Well, then, you'd bettergo right away, before you get real serious sick. Why not fix it so youcan go away to-morrow yet?" "To-morrow!" Abe exclaimed. "It don't go so quick as all that, Mawruss. You can't believe everything the doctors tell you. I ain't exactly deadyet, Mawruss. I'm like the feller what everybody says is going to fail, Mawruss. They give him till after Christmas to bust up, and then he doesa fine holiday trade, and the first thing you know, Mawruss, he's buyingreal estate. No, Mawruss, I feel pretty mean, I admit, but I think agood two-thousand-dollar order would put me all right again, and so longas we wouldn't have no more trouble with designers, Mawruss, I guess Iwould _stay_ right too. " "Well, if that's the case, " said Morris, beaming all over, "I guess Ican fix you up. Siegmund Lowenstein, of Galveston, was in hereyesterday, and I sold him a twenty-four-hundred-dollar order, includingthem forty-twenty-two's, and you know as well as I do, Abe, themforty-twenty-two's is stickers. We got 'em in stock now over two months, ever since Abe Magnus, of Nashville, turned 'em back on us. " Abe's reception of the news was somewhat disappointing to Morris. Heshowed no elation, but selected a slightly-damaged cigar from the K. ToO. First and second credit customers' box, and lit it deliberatelybefore replying. "How much was that last order he give us, Mawruss?" he asked. "Four hundred dollars, " Morris replied. "And what terms?" Abe continued. "Five off, thirty days. " "And what terms did _you_ quote him yesterday?" asked Abe inexorably. "Ninety days, net, " Morris murmured. Abe puffed vigorously at his cigar, and there was a long and significantsilence. "I should think, Abe, " Morris said at length, "the doctor wouldn't letyou smoke cigars if you was nearly breaking down. " "So long as you sell twenty-four hundred dollars at ninety days to acrook and a gambler like Siegmund Lowenstein, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "one cigar more or less won't hurt me. If I can stand a piece of newslike that, Mawruss, I guess I can stand anything. Why didn't you givehim thirty days' dating, too, Mawruss?" At once Morris plunged into a long account of the circumstancesattending the giving of Mr. Lowenstein's order, including the telephonemessage from Garfunkel & Levy, and at its conclusion Abe grew somewhatmollified. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "we took the order and I suppose we got toship it. When you deal with a gambler like Lowenstein you got to take agambler's chance. Anyhow, I ain't going to worry about it, Mawruss. Nextweek I'm going away for a fortnight. " "Where are you going, Abe?" Morris asked. "To Dotyville, Pennsylvania, " Abe replied. "We leave next Saturday. Inthe meantime I ain't going to worry, Mawruss. " "That's right, Abe, " said Morris. "Sure it's right, " Abe rejoined. "I'm going to leave _you_ to do theworrying, and in the meantime I guess I'll look after getting out themforty-twenty-two's. Them forty-twenty-two's--them plum-color Empires was_your_ idee, Mawruss. You said they'd make a hit with the Southerntrade, Mawruss, and I hope they do, Mawruss, for, if they don't, thereain't much chance of our getting paid for them. " A week later Abe Potash and his wife left for Dotyville, Pennsylvania, and two days afterward Morris received the following letter: DOTY'S UNION HOUSE, Dotyville, Pennsylvania. _Dear Morris:_ How is things in the store? We got here the day before yesterday and I have got enough already. It is a dead town. The food what they give us reminds me when Pincus Vesell & me was partners together as new beginners and I was making southern trips by dollar and a half a day houses American plan. The man Doty what keeps the hotel also runs the general store also. He says a fellow by the name of Levy used to run it but he couldnt make it go; he made a failure of it. I tried to sell him a few garments but he claims to be overstocked at present and I believe him. I seen some styles what he tries to get rid of it what me & Pincus Vesell made up in small lots way before the Spanish war already. It is a dead town. Me and Rosie leave tonight for Pittsburg and we are going to stay with Rosies brother in law Hyman Margolius. Write us how things is going in the store to the Outlet Auction House Hyman Margolius prop 2132 4 & 6 North Potter Ave Pittsburg Pa. You should see that Miss Cohen billed them 4022s on date we packed them as Goldman the shipping clerk forgot to give them to Arrow Dispatch when they called. That ain't our fault Morris. Write and tell me how things is going in the store and dont forget to tell Miss Cohen about the bill to S. Lowenstein as above Yours Truly A. POTASH. P. S. How is things in the store? During the first three days of Abe Potash's vacation he had traveled bylocal train one hundred and twenty miles to Dotyville, and unpacked andpacked two trunks under the shrill and captious supervision of Mrs. Potash. Then followed a tiresome journey to Pittsburgh with two changesof cars, and finally, on the morning of the fourth day, at seven-thirtysharp, he accompanied Hyman Margolius to the latter's place of business. There he took off his coat and helped Hyman and his staff of assistantsto pile up and mark for auction a large consignment of clothing. Afterthis, he called off the lot numbers while Hyman checked them in a firstdraft of a printed catalogue, and at one o'clock, with hands and faceall grimy from contact with the ill-dyed satinets of which the clothingwas manufactured, he partook of a substantial luncheon at Bleistift'sRestaurant and Lunch-Room. "Well, Abe, " Hyman said, "how do you like the auction business so far asyou gone yet?" "It's a good, live business, Hymie, " Abe replied; "but, the way it worksout, it ain't always on the square. A fellow what wants to do hiscreditors buys goods in New York, we'll say, for his businessin--Galveston, we'll say, and then when he gets the goods he don't evenbother to unpack 'em, Hymie, but ships 'em right away to you. And youexamine 'em, and if they're all O. K. , why, you send him a check forabout half what it costs to manufacture 'em. Then he pockets the check, Hymie, and ten days later busts up on the poor sucker what sold him thegoods in New York at ninety days. Ain't that right, Hymie?" "Why, that's the funniest thing you ever seen!" Hyman exclaimed. "What's the funniest thing I ever seen, Hymie?" "You talking about Galveston, for instance. " Abe turned pale and choked on a piece of _rosbraten_. "What d'ye mean?" he gasped. "Why, " said Hyman, "I just received a consignment of garments from afeller called Lowenstein in Galveston. He wrote me he was overstocked. " "Overstocked?" Abe cried. "Overstocked? What color was them garments?" "Why, they was a kind of plum color, " said Hyman. Abe put his hand to his throat and eased his collar. "And did you send him a check for 'em yet?" he croaked. "Not yet, " said Hyman. Abe grabbed him by the collar. "Come!" he said. "Come quick by a lawyer!" "What for?" Hyman asked. "You're pulling that coat all out of shapeyet. " "I'll buy you another one, " Abe cried. "Them plum-color garments ismine, and I want to get 'em back. " Hyman paid the bill, and on their way down the street they passed atelegraph office. "Wait, " Abe cried, "I must send Mawruss a wire. " He entered and seized a telegraph form, which he addressed to Potash &Perlmutter. "Don't ship no more goods to Lowenstein, Morris. Will explain by letterto-night, " he wrote. "Now, Hymie, " he said after he had paid for the dispatch, "we go by yourlawyer. " Five minutes later they were closeted with Max Marcus, senior member ofthe firm of Marcus, Weinschenck & Grab, and a lodge brother of HymieMargolius. Max made a specialty of amputation cases. He was accustomedto cashing missing arms and legs at a thousand dollars apiece for thevictims of rolling-mill and railway accidents, and when the sympatheticjury brought in their generous verdict Max paid the expert witnesses andpocketed the net proceeds. These rarely fell below five thousanddollars. "Sit down, Hymie. Glad to see you, Mr. Potash, " Max said, stroking asmall gray mustache with a five-carat diamond ring. "What can I do for_you_?" "I got some goods belonging to Mr. Potash what a fellow calledLowenstein in Galveston, Texas, shipped me, " said Hymie, "and Mr. Potash wants to get 'em back. " "Replevin, hey?" Max said. "That's a little out of my line, but I guessI can fix you up. " He rang for a stenographer. "Take this down, " he saidto her, and turned to Abe Potash. "Now, tell us the facts. " Abe recounted the tale Mr. Lowenstein had related to Morris Perlmutter, by which Lowenstein made it appear that he was completely out of stock. Next, Hyman Margolius produced Siegmund Lowenstein's letter whichdeclared that Lowenstein was disposing of the Empire cloaks because hewas overstocked. "S'enough, " Max declared. "Tell, Mr. Weinschenck to work it up into anaffidavit, " he continued to the stenographer, "and bring us in a jurat. " A moment later she returned with a sheet of legal cap, on the top ofwhich was typewritten: "Sworn to before me this first day of April, 1904. " "Sign opposite the brace, " said Max, pushing the paper at Abe, and Abescrawled his name where indicated. "Now, hold up your right hand, " said Max, and Abe obeyed. "Do you solemnly swear that the affidavit subscribed by you is true?"Max went on. "What affidavit?" Abe asked. "Why, the one Weinschenck is going to draw when he comes back fromlunch, of course, " Max replied. "Sure it's true, " said Abe. "All right, " Max concluded briskly. "Now give me a check for fifty dollars for my fees, five dollars for asurety company bond, and five dollars sheriff's fees, and I'll get out areplevin order on the strength of that affidavit in half an hour, andhave a deputy around to the store at three o'clock to transfer the goodsfrom Hymie to you. " "Sixty dollars is pretty high for a little thing like that, ain't it, Max?" said Hymie. "High?" Max cried indignantly. "High? Why, if you wasn't a lodge brotherof mine, Hymie, I wouldn't have stirred a hand for less than a hundred. " Thus rebuked, Abe paid over the sixty dollars, and Hymie and he wentback to the store. Precisely at three a deputy sheriff entered the frontdoor and flashed a gold badge as big as a dinner-plate. His stay wasbrief, and in five minutes he had relieved Abe of all his spare cigarsand departed, leaving only a certified copy of the replevin order and astrong smell of whisky to signalize the transfer of the Empire gownsfrom Hymie to Abe. Hardly had he banged the door behind him when a messenger boy enteredand handed a telegram to Abe. "Ain't shipped no goods but the 4022's, " it read. "Have wired Lowensteinto return the 4022s. MORRIS. " "Fine! Fine!" Abe exclaimed. He tipped the boy a dime and was about toacquaint Hyman with the good news, when another messenger boy enteredand delivered a second telegram to Abe. It read as follows: "Lowenstein wires he insists on delivery entire order complete, otherwise he will sue. What shall I wire him? MORRIS. " Abe seized his hat and dashed down the street to the telegraph office. "Gimme a blank, " he said to the operator, who handed him a whole padful. For the next twenty minutes Abe scribbled and tore up by turns until hefinally evolved a satisfactory missive. This he handed to the operator, who read it with a broad grin and passed it back at once. "Wot d'ye take me for?" he said. "A bum? Dere's ladies in de mainoffice. " Abe glared at the operator and began again. "Here, " he said to the operator after another quarter of an hour ofscribbling and tearing up, "send this. " It was in the following form: _Don't send no more goods to Lowenstein " " " " wires " nobody_ "Fourteen words, " the operator said. "Fifty-four cents. " "What's that?" Abe cried. "What yer trying to do? Make money on me? Thatain't no fourteen words. That's _nine_ words. " "It is, hey?" the operator rejoined. "Quit yer kiddin'. Dat's fourteenwords. Ditto marks don't go, see?" "You're a fresh young feller, " said Abe, paying over fifty-four cents, "and I got a good mind to report you to the head office. " The operator laughed raucously. "G'wan!" he said. "Beat it, or I'll sick de cops onter yer. It's aginthe law to cuss in Pittsburgh, even by telegraft. " When Abe returned to the Outlet Auction House's store Hyman was busystacking up the plum-color gowns in piles convenient for shipping. "Well, Abe, " he said, "I thought you was here for a vacation. You'redoing some pretty tall hustling for a sick man, I must say. " "I'll tell you the truth, Hymie, " Abe replied, "I ain't got no time tobe sick. It ain't half-past three yet, and I guess I'll take a couple ofthem garments and see what I can do with the jobbing and retail trade inthis here town. " "Don't you think you'd better take it easy for a while, Abe?" Hymansuggested. "I am taking it easy, " said Abe. "So long as I ain't working I'mresting, ain't it, Hymie? And you know as well as I do, Hymie, sellinggoods never was work to me. It's a pleasure, Hymie, I assure you. " He placed two of the plum-colored Empire gowns under his arm, andthrusting his hat firmly on the back of his head made straight for thedry-goods district. Two hours later he returned, wearing a broad smilethat threatened to engulf his stubby black mustache between his nose andhis chin. "Hymie, " he said, "I'm sorry I got to disturb that nice pile you made ofthem garments. I'll get right to work myself and assort the sizes. " "Why, what's the trouble now, Abe?" Hyman asked. "I disposed of 'em, Hymie, " Abe replied. "Two hundred to Hamburg andWeiss. Three hundred to the Capitol Credit Outfitting Company, and fivehundred to Feinroth and Pearl. " "Hold on there, Abe!" Hymie exclaimed. "You only got six hundred, andyou sold a thousand garments. " "I know, Hymie, " said Abe, "but I'm going home to-morrow, and I got amonth in which to ship the balance. " "Going home?" Hyman cried. "Sure, " said Abe. "I had a good long vacation, and now I got to get downto business. " One morning, two weeks later, Abe sat with his feet cocked up on hisdesk in the show-room of Potash & Perlmutter's spacious cloak and suitestablishment. Between his teeth he held a fine Pittsburgh cheroot at anangle of about ninety-five degrees to his protruding under-lip, and heperused with relish the business-trouble column of the Daily Cloak andSuit Record. "Now, what do you think of that?" he exclaimed. "What do I think of what, Abe?" Morris inquired. For answer Abe thrust the paper toward his partner with one hand, andindicated a scare headline with the other. "Fraudulent Bankruptcy in Galveston, " it read. "A petition in bankruptcywas filed yesterday against Siegmund Lowenstein, doing business as theO'Gorman-Henderson Dry-Goods Company, in Galveston, Texas. When theFederal receiver took charge of the bankrupt's premises they wereapparently swept clean of stock and fixtures. It is understood thatLowenstein has fled to Matamoros, Mexico, where his wife preceded himsome two weeks ago. The liabilities are estimated at fifty thousanddollars, and the only asset is the store building, which is valued atten thousand dollars and is subject to mortgages aggregating about thesame amount. The majority of the creditors are in New York City andBoston. " Morris returned the paper to his partner without comment. "You see, Mawruss, " said Abe, as he lit a fresh cheroot. "Sometimes itpays to be sick. Ain't it?" CHAPTER IV "Never no more, Mawruss, " said Abe Potash to his partner as they sat inthe show-room of their spacious cloak and suit establishment one weekafter Abe's return from Pittsburgh. "Never no more, Mawruss, because itain't good policy. This is strictly a wholesale business, and if once wesell a friend _one_ garment that friend brings a friend, and that friendbrings also a friend, and the first thing you know, Mawruss, we aredoing a big retail business at a net loss of fifty cents a garment. " "But this ain't a friend, Abe, " Morris protested. "It's my wife'sservant-girl. She seen one of them samples, style forty-twenty-two, themplum-color Empires what I took it home to show M. Garfunkel on my waydown yesterday, and now she's crazy to have one. If she don't get one myMinnie is afraid she'll leave. " "All right, " Abe said, "let her leave. If my Rosie can cook herself andwash herself, Mawruss, I guess it won't hurt your Minnie. Let her trydoing her own work for a while, Mawruss. I guess it'll do her good. " "But, anyhow, Abe, I told the girl to come down this morning and I'dgive her one for two dollars, and I guess she'll be here most any timenow. " "Well, Mawruss, " said Abe, "this once is all right, but never no more. We ain't doing a cloak and suit business for the servant-girl trade. " Further discussion was prevented by the entrance of the retail customerherself. Morris jumped quickly to his feet and conducted her to the rearof the store, while Abe silently sought refuge in the cutting-roomupstairs. "What size do you think you wear, Lina?" Morris asked. "Big, " Lina replied. "Fat. " "Yes, I know, " Morris said, "but what size?" "Very fat, " Lina replied. She was a Lithuanian and her generous figurehad never known the refining influence of a corset until she had landedat Ellis Island two years before. "That's the biggest I got, Lina, " Morris said, producing thelargest-size garment in stock. "Maybe if you try it on over your dressyou'll get some idea of whether it's big enough. " Lina struggled feet first into the gown, which buttoned down the back, and for five minutes Morris labored with clenched teeth to fasten it forher. "That's a fine fit, " he said, as he concluded his task. He led hertoward the mirror in the front of the show-room just as M. Garfunkelentered the store door. "Hallo, Mawruss, " he cried. "What's this? A new cloak model you got?" [Illustration: WHAT'S THIS? A NEW CLOAK MODEL YOU GOT?] Morris blushed, while Lina and M. Garfunkel both made a criticalexamination of the garment's eccentric fit. "Why, that's one of them forty-twenty-two's what I ordered a lot of thismorning, Mawruss. Ain't it?" Morris gazed ruefully at the plum-color gown and nodded. "Then don't ship that order till you hear from me, " M. Garfunkel said. "I guess I got to hustle right along. " "Don't be in a hurry, Mr. Garfunkel, " Morris cried. "You ain't come inthe store just to tell me that, have you?" "Yes, I have, " said Garfunkel, his eye still glued to Lina's bulgingfigure. "That's all what I come for. I'll write you this afternoon. " He slammed the door behind him and Morris turned to the unbuttoning ofthe half-smothered Lina. "That'll be two dollars for _you_, Lina, " he said, "and I guess it'll beabout four hundred for us. " At seven the next morning, when Abe came down the street from thesubway, a bareheaded girl sat on the short flight of steps leading toPotash & Perlmutter's store door. As Abe approached, the girl rose andnodded, whereat Abe scowled. "If a job you want it, " he said, "you should go round to the back doorand wait till the foreman comes. " "Me no want job, " she said. "Me _coosin_. " "Cousin!" Abe cried. "Whose cousin?" "Lina's coosin, " said the girl. She held out her hand and, opening it, disclosed a two-dollar bill all damp and wrinkled. "Me want dress likeLina. " "What!" Abe cried. "So soon already!" "Lina got nice red dress. She show it me last night, " the girl said. "Megot one, too. " She smiled affably, and for the first time Abe noticed the smooth, fairhair, the oval face and the slender, girlish figure that seemed made foran Empire gown. Then, of course, there was the two-dollar bill and itspromise of a cash sale, which always makes a strong appeal to acredit-harried mind like Abe's. "Oh, well, " he said with a sigh, leadingthe way to the rack of Empire gowns in the rear of the store, "if I mustI suppose I must. " He selected the smallest gown in stock and handed it to her. "If you can get into that by your own self you can have it for twodollars, " he said, pocketing the crumpled bill. "I don't button upnothing for nobody. " He gathered up the mail from the letter-box and carried it to theshow-room. There was a generous pile of correspondence, and the veryfirst letter that came to his hand bore the legend, "The Paris. Cloaks, Suits and Millinery. M. Garfunkel, Prop. " Abe mumbled to himself as hetore it open. "I bet yer he claims a shortage in delivery, when we ain't even shippedhim the goods yet, " he said, and commenced to read the letter; "I betyer he----" He froze into horrified silence as his protruding eyes took in theimport of M. Garfunkel's note. Then he jumped from his chair and raninto the store, where the new retail customer was primping in front ofthe mirror. "Out, " he yelled, "out of my store. " She turned from the fascinating picture in the looking-glass to beholdthe enraged Abe brandishing the letter like a missile, and with oneterrified shriek she made for the door and dashed wildly toward thecorner. Morris was smoking an after-breakfast cigar as he strolled leisurelyfrom the subway, and when he turned into White Street Abe was stillstanding on the doorstep. "What's the matter?" Morris asked. "Matter!" Abe cried. "Matter! _Nothing's_ the matter. Everything's fineand dandy. Just look at that letter, Mawruss. That's all. " Morris took the proffered note and opened it at once. "Gents, " it read. "Your Mr. Perlmutter sold us them plum-color Empiresthis morning, and he said they was all the thing on Fifth Avenue. Now, gents, we sell to the First Avenue trade, like what was in your storethis afternoon when our Mr. Garfunkel called, and our Mr. Garfunkel seenenough already. Please cancel the order. Your Mr. Perlmutter willunderstand. Truly yours, The Paris. M. Garfunkel, Prop. " M. Garfunkel lived in a stylish apartment on One Hundred andEighteenth Street. His family consisted of himself, Mrs. Garfunkel, three children and a Lithuanian maid named Anna, and it was a source ofwonder to the neighbors that a girl so slight in frame could perform themenial duties of so large a household. She cooked, washed and sewed forthe entire family with such cheerfulness and application that Mrs. Garfunkel deemed her a treasure and left to her discretion almost everydomestic detail. Thus Anna always rose at six and immediately awakenedMr. Garfunkel, for M. Garfunkel's breakfast was an immovable feast, scheduled for half-past six. But on the morning after he had purchased the plum-color gowns fromPotash & Perlmutter it was nearly eight before he awoke, and when heentered the dining-room, instead of the two fried eggs, the sausage andthe coffee which usually greeted him, there were spread on the tableonly the evening papers, a brimming ash-tray and a torn envelope bearingthe score of last night's pinochle game. He was about to return to the bedroom and report Anna's disappearancewhen a key rattled in the hall door and Anna herself entered. Her cheekswere flushed and her hair was blown about her face in unbecomingdisorder. Nevertheless, she smiled the triumphant smile of thewell-dressed. "Me late, " she said, but Garfunkel forgot all about his lost breakfasthour when he beheld the plum-color Empire. "Why, " he gasped, "that's one of them forty-twenty-two's I orderedyesterday. " Anna lifted both her arms the better to display the gown's perfection, and Garfunkel examined it with the eye of an expert. "Let's see the back, " he said. "That looks great on you, Anna. " He spun her round and round in his anxiety to view the gown from allangles. "I must have been crazy to cancel that order, " he went on. "Where didyou get it, Anna?" "Me buy from Potash & Perlmutter, " she said. "My coosin Lina works byMr. Perlmutter. She gets one yesterday for two dollar. Me see it lastnight and like it. So me get up five o'clock this morning and godowntown and buy one for two dollar, too. " M. Garfunkel made a rapid mental calculation, while Anna left to preparethe belated breakfast. He estimated that Anna had paid a little less for her retail purchasethan the price Potash & Perlmutter had quoted to him for hundred lots. "They're worth it, too, " he said to himself. "Potash & Perlmutter is acouple of pretty soft suckers, to be selling goods below cost toservant-girls. I always thought Abe Potash was a pretty hard nut, but Iguess I'll be able to do business with 'em, after all. " At half-past ten M. Garfunkel entered the store of Potash & Perlmutterand greeted Abe with a smile that blended apology, friendliness andingratiation in what M. Garfunkel deemed to be just the rightproportions. Abe glared in response. "Well, Abe, " M. Garfunkel cried, "ain't it a fine weather?" "Is it?" Abe replied. "I don't worry about the kind of weather it iswhen I gets cancelations, Mr. Garfunkel. What for you cancel that order, Mr. Garfunkel?" M. Garfunkel raised a protesting palm. "Now, Abe, " he said, "if you was to go into a house what you boughtgoods off of and seen a garment you just hear is all the rage on FifthAvenue being tried on by a cow----" "A cow!" Abe said. "I want to tell you something, Mr. Garfunkel. Thatlady what you see trying on them Empires was Mawruss' girl what works byhis wife, and while she ain't no Lillian Russell nor nothing like that, y'understand, if you think you should get out of taking them goods bycalling her a cow you are mistaken. " The qualities of ingratiation and friendliness departed from M. Garfunkel's smile, leaving it wholly apologetic. "Well, Abe, as a matter of fact, " he said, "I ain't canceled that orderaltogether _absolutely_, y'understand. Maybe if you make inducements Imight reconsider it. " "Inducements!" Abe cried. "Inducements is nix. Them gowns costs usthree dollars apiece, and we give 'em to you for three-ten. If we makeany inducements we land in the poorhouse. Ain't it?" "Oh, the price is all right, " M. Garfunkel protested, "but the terms istoo strict. I can't buy _all_ my goods at ten days. Sammet Brothersgives me a line at sixty and ninety days, and so I do most of mybusiness with them. Now if I could get the same terms by _you_, Abe, Ishould consider your line ahead of Sammet Brothers'. " "Excuse _me_, " Abe interrupted. "I think I hear the telephone ringing. " He walked to the rear of the store, where the telephone bell wasjingling. "Miss Cohen, " he said to the bookkeeper as he passed the office, "answerthe 'phone. I'm going upstairs to speak to Mr. Perlmutter. " He proceeded to the cutting-room, where Morris was superintending theunpacking of piece-goods. "Mawruss, " he said, "M. Garfunkel is downstairs, and he says he willreconsider the cancelation and give it us a big order if we let him havebetter terms. What d'ye say, Mawruss?" Morris remained silent for a minute. "Take a chance, Abe, " he said at length. "He can't bust up on us by thefirst bill. Can he?" "No, " Abe agreed hesitatingly, "but he _might_, Mawruss?" "Sure he might, " said Morris, "but if we don't take no chances, Abe, wemight as well go out of the cloak and suit business. Sell him all hewants, Abe. " "I'll sell him all he can pay for, Mawruss, " said Abe, "and I guess thatain't over a thousand dollars. " He returned to the first floor, where M. Garfunkel eagerly awaited him, and produced a box of the firm's K. To M. First and second creditcustomers' cigars. "Have a smoke, Mr. Garfunkel, " he said. M. Garfunkel selected a cigar with care and sat down. "Well, Abe, " he said, "that was a long talk you had over the telephone. " "Sure it was, " Abe replied. "The cashier of the Kosciusko Bank on GrandStreet rang me up. He discounts some of our accounts what we sellresponsible people, and he asks me that in future I get regularstatements from all my customers--those that I want to discount theiraccounts in particular. " M. Garfunkel nodded slowly. "Statements--you shall have it, Abe, " he said, "but I may as well tellyou that it's foolish to discount bills what you sell _me_. I sometimesdiscount them myself. I'll send you a statement, anyhow. Now let's lookat your line, Abe. I wasted enough time already. " For the next hour M. Garfunkel pawed over Potash & Perlmutter's stock, and when he finally took leave of Abe he had negotiated an order of athousand dollars; terms, sixty days net. The statement of M. Garfunkel's financial condition, which arrived thefollowing day, more than satisfied Morris Perlmutter and, had it notbeen quite so glowing in character, it might even have satisfied AbePotash. "I don't know, Mawruss, " he said; "some things looks too good to betrue, Mawruss, and I guess this is one of them. " "Always you must worry, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "If Vanderbilt and Astorwas partners together in the cloak and suit business, and you sold 'em acouple of hundred dollars' goods, Abe, you'd worry yourself sick tillyou got a check. I bet yer Garfunkel discounts his bill already. " Morris' prophecy proved to be true, for at the end of four weeks M. Garfunkel called at Potash & Perlmutter's store and paid his sixty-dayaccount with the usual discount of ten per cent. Moreover, he gave themanother order for two thousand dollars' worth of goods at the sameterms. In this instance, however, full fifty-nine days elapsed without wordfrom M. Garfunkel, and on the morning of the sixtieth day Abe enteredthe store bearing every appearance of anxiety. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "what's the matter now? You look like you wasworried. " "I bet yer I'm worried, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Well, what's the use of worrying?" he rejoined. "M. Garfunkel's accountain't due till to-day. " "Always M. Garfunkel!" Abe cried. "M. Garfunkel don't worry me much, Mawruss. I'd like to see a check from him, too, Mawruss, but I ain'twasting no time on him. My Rosie is sick. " "Sick!" Morris exclaimed. "That's too bad, Abe. What seems to be thetrouble?" "She got the rheumatism in her shoulder, " Abe replied, "and she tries toget a girl by intelligent offices to help her out, but it ain't no use. It breaks her all up to get a girl, Mawruss. Fifteen years already shecooks herself and washes herself, and now she's got to get a girl, Mawruss, but she can't get one. " Morris clucked sympathetically. "Maybe that girl of yours, Mawruss, " Abe went on as though making aninnocent suggestion, "what we sell the forty-twenty-two to, maybe shegot a sister or a cousin maybe, what wants a job, Mawruss. " "I'll telephone my Minnie right away, " Morris said, and as he turned todo so M. Garfunkel entered. Abe and Morris rushed forward to greet him. Each seized a hand and, patting him on the back, escorted him to theshow-room. "First thing, " M. Garfunkel said, "here is a check for the current bill. " "No hurry, " Abe and Morris exclaimed, with what the musical critics callsplendid attack. "Now that that's out of the way, " M. Garfunkel went on, "I want to giveyou another order. Only thing is, Mawruss, you know as well as I do thatin the installment cloak and suit business a feller needs a lot ofcapital. Ain't it?" Morris nodded. "And if he buys goods only for cash or thirty or sixty days, Abe, " M. Garfunkel continued, "he sometimes gets pretty cramped for money, because his own customers takes a long time to pay up. Ain't it?" Abe nodded, too. "Well, then, " M. Garfunkel concluded, "I'll give you boys a fine order, but this time it's got to be ninety days. " Abe puffed hard on his cigar, and Morris loosened his collar, which hadbecome suddenly tight. "I always paid prompt my bills. Ain't it?" M. Garfunkel asked. "Sure, Mr. Garfunkel, " Abe replied. "_That_ you did do it. But ninetydays is three months, and ourselves we got to pay our bills in thirtydays. " "However, " Morris broke in, "that is neither there nor here. A goodcustomer is a good customer, Abe, and so _I'm_ agreeable. " This put the proposition squarely up to Abe, and he found it a difficultmatter to refuse credit to a customer whose check for two thousanddollars was even then reposing in Abe's waistcoat pocket. "All right, " Abe said. "Go ahead and pick out your goods. " For two solid hours M. Garfunkel went over Potash & Perlmutter's lineand, selecting hundred lots of their choicest styles, bought athree-thousand-dollar order. "We ain't got but half of them styles in stock, " said Morris, "but wecan make 'em up right away. " "Then, them goods what you got in stock, Mawruss, " said Garfunkel, "Imust have prompt by to-morrow, and the others in ten days. " "That's all right, " Morris replied, and when M. Garfunkel left the storeAbe and Morris immediately set about the assorting of the ordered stock. "Look a-here, Mawruss, " Abe said, "I thought you was going to see aboutthat girl for my Rosie. " "Why, so I was, Abe, " Morris replied; "I'll attend to it right away. " He went to the telephone and rang up his wife, and five minutes laterreturned to the front of the store. "Ain't that the funniest thing, Abe, " he said. "My Minnie speaks to thegirl, and the girl says she got a cousin what's just going to quit herjob, Abe. She'll be the very girl for your Rosie. " "I don't know, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "My Rosie is a particular woman. She don't want no girl what's got fired for being dirty or somethinglike that, Mawruss. We first want to get a report on her and find outwhat she gets fired for. " "You're right, Abe, " Morris said. "I'll find out from Lina to-night. " Once more they fell to their task of assorting and packing the majorpart of Garfunkel's order, and by six o'clock over fifteen hundreddollars' worth of goods was ready for delivery. "We'll ship them to-morrow, " Abe said, as they commenced to lock up forthe night, "and don't forget about that girl, Mawruss. " On his way downtown the next morning Abe met Leon Sammet, senior memberof the firm of Sammet Brothers. Between Abe and Leon existed the nominaltruce of competition, which in the cloak and suit trade implies thatwhile they cheerfully exchanged credit information from their officefiles they maintained a constant guerilla warfare for the capture ofeach other's customers. Now, M. Garfunkel had been a particularly strong customer of SammetBrothers, and since Abe assumed that M. Garfunkel had dropped SammetBrothers in favor of Potash & Perlmutter his manner toward Leon wasbland and apologetic. "Well, Leon, " he said, "how's business?" Leon's face wrinkled into a smile. "It could be better, of course, Abe, " he said, "but we done a tremendousspring trade, anyhow, even though we ain't got no more that sucker LouisGrossman working for us. We shipped a couple of three-thousand-dollarorders last week. One of 'em to Strauss, Kahn & Baum, of Fresno. " These were old customers of Potash & Perlmutter, and Abe winced. "They was old customers of ours, Leon, " he said, "but they done such acheap class of trade we couldn't cut our line enough to please 'em. " "Is that so?" Leon rejoined. "Maybe M. Garfunkel was an old customer ofyours, too, Abe. " "M. Garfunkel?" Abe cried. "Was M. Garfunkel the other?" "He certainly was, " Leon boasted. "We shipped him three thousanddollars. One of our best customers, Abe. Always pays to the day. " For the remainder of the subway journey Abe was quite unresponsive toLeon's jibes, a condition which Leon attributed to chagrin, and as theyparted at Canal Street Leon could not forbear a final gloat. "I suppose, Abe, M. Garfunkel does too cheap a class of trade to suityou, also. Ain't it?" he said. Abe made no reply, and as he walked south toward White Street MaxLapidus, of Lapidus & Elenbogen, another and a smaller competitor, bumped into him. "Hallo, Abe, " Max said. "What's that Leon Sammet was saying just nowabout M. Garfunkel?" "Oh, M. Garfunkel is a good customer of his, " Abe replied cautiously;"so he claims. " "Don't you believe it, " said Max. "M. Garfunkel told me himself he usedto do some business with Sammet Brothers, but he don't do it no more. Wedone a big business with M. Garfunkel ourselves. " "So?" Abe commented. "We sold him a couple of thousand dollars at ninety days last week, "Lapidus went on. "He's elegant pay, Abe. We sold him a good-size orderevery couple of months this season, and he pays prompt to the day. Oncehe discounted his bill. " "Is that so?" Abe said, as they reached the front of Potash &Perlmutter's store. "Glad to hear M. Garfunkel is so busy. Good-morning, Max. " Morris Perlmutter met him at the door. "Hallo, Abe, " he cried. "What's the matter? You look pale. Is Rosieworse?" Abe shook his head. "Mawruss, " he said, "did you ship them goods to M. Garfunkel yet?" "They'll be out in ten minutes, " Morris replied. "Hold 'em for a while till I telephone over to Klinger & Klein, " Abesaid. "What you looking for, Abe?" Morris asked. "More information? You knowas well as I do, Abe, that Klinger & Klein is so conservative theywouldn't sell Andrew Carnegie unless they got a certified check inadvance. " "That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "Maybe they wouldn't sellAndrew Carnegie, but if I ain't mistaken they _did_ sell M. Garfunkel. Everybody sold him, even Lapidus & Elenbogen. So I guess I'll telephone'em. " "Well, wait a bit, Abe, " Morris cried. "My Minnie's girl Lina is herewith her cousin. I brought 'em down this morning so you could talk toher yourself. " "All right, " Abe replied. "Tell 'em to come into the show-room. " A moment later Lina and her cousin Anna entered the show-room. Bothwere arrayed in Potash & Perlmutter's style forty-twenty-two, but whileLina wore a green hat approximating the hue of early spring foliage, Anna's head-covering was yellow with just a few crimson-lakeroses--about eight large ones--on the side. "Close the window, Mawruss, " said Abe. "There's so much noise comingfrom outside I can't hear myself think. " "The window is closed, Abe, " Morris replied. "It's your imagination. " "Well, then, which one is which, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "The roses is Anna, " Morris said. "Anna, you want to work by Mr. Potash's lady?" "Sure she does, " Abe broke in. "Only I want to ask you a few questionsbefore I hire you. Who did you work by before, Anna?" Anna hung her head and simpered. "Mister M. Garfunkel, " she murmured. "Is that so?" Morris exclaimed. "Why, he's a good customer of ours. " "Don't butt in, Mawruss, " Abe said. "And what did you leave him for, Anna?" "Me don't leave _them_, " Anna replied. "Mrs. Garfunkel is fine lady. Mister Garfunkel, too. They leave _me_. They goin' away next month, outto the country. " "Moving out to the country, hey?" said Abe. He was outwardly calm, buthis eyes glittered. "What country?" Anna turned to her cousin Lina and spoke a few words of Lithuanian. "She say she don't remember, " Lina explained, "but she say is somethingsounds like '_canned_ goods'. " "_Canned_ goods?" Morris murmured. Abe bit the ends of his mustache for a moment, and then he leaped to hisfeet. "_Canada!_" he yelled, and Lina nodded vigorously. He darted out of the show-room and ran to the telephone. In ten minuteshe returned, his face bathed in perspiration. "Anna, " he croaked, "you come to work by me. Yes? How much you get bythat--that M. Garfunkel?" "Twenty dollars a month, " Anna replied. "All right, we'll pay you twenty-two, " he said. "You're cheap at theprice. So I expect you this evening. " He turned to his partner after the girls had gone. "Mawruss, " he said, "put them goods for M. Garfunkel back in stock. Irung up Klinger & Klein and they sold him four thousand. I also rung upthe Perfection Cloak and Suit Company--also four thousand; Margolius &Fried--two thousand; Levy, Martin & Co. --three thousand, and so on. Theway I figure it, he must of bought a hundred thousand dollars' worth ofgoods, all in the last few days, and all at ninety days net. He couldn'tget a quarter of the goods in that First Avenue building of his, Mawruss, so where is the rest? Auction houses, Mawruss, north, south, east and west, and I bet yer he got the advance checks for eachconsignment deposited in Montreal right now. I bet yer he didn't evenunpack the cases before he reshipped. Tell Miss Cohen to come in andbring her book. " When Miss Cohen took her seat Abe rose and cleared his throat for anepistle worthy of the occasion. "The Paris. M. Garfunkel, Proprietor, " he said. "Gents: Owing tocircumstances which has arose----No. Wait a bit. " He cleared his throat more vigorously. "The Paris. M. Garfunkel, Proprietor, " he said. "Gents: Owing to thefact that the _U_-nited States bankruptcy laws don't go nowheres exceptin the _U_-nited States, we are obliged to cancel the order what yougive us. Thanking you for past favors and hoping to do a strictly-cashbusiness with you in the future, we are truly yours, Potash &Perlmutter. " Miss Cohen shut her book and arose. "Wait a bit, Miss Cohen. I ain't through yet, " Abe said. He tiltedbackward and forward on his toes for a moment. "P. S. , " he concluded. "We hope you'll like it in Canada. " CHAPTER V "Things goes pretty smooth for us lately, Mawruss, " Abe Potash remarked, shortly after M. Garfunkel's failure. "I guess we are due for a _schlag_somewheres, ain't it?" "Always you got to kick, " Morris cried. "If you would only listen towhat _I_ got to say oncet in a while, Abe, things would always gosmooth. " Abe emitted a raucous laugh. "Sure, I know, " he said, "like this here tenement house proposition youwas talking to me about, Mawruss. You ain't content we should have ourtroubles in the cloak and suit business, Mawruss, you got to go outsideyet and find 'em. You got to go into the real estate business too. " "Real-estaters ain't got no such trouble like _we_ got it, Abe, " Morrisretorted. "There ain't no seasons in real estate, Abe. A tenement housethis year is like a tenement house last year, Abe, also the year before. They ain't wearing stripes in tenement houses one year, Abe, and solidcolors the next. All you do when you got a tenement house, Abe, is to goround and collect the rents, and when you got a customer for it youdon't have to draw no report on him. Spot cash, he pays it, Abe, or elseyou get a mortgage as security. " "You talk like Scheuer Blumenkrohn, Mawruss, when he comes round herelast year and wants to swap it two lots in Ozone Grove, Long Island, fora couple of hundred misses' reefers, " Abe replied. "When I speculate, Mawruss, I take a hand at auction pinochle. " "This ain't no speculation, Abe, " said Morris. "This is an investment. Iseen the house, Abe, six stories and basement stores, and you couldn'tget another tenant into it with a shoehorn. It brings in a fine income, Abe. " "Well, if that's the case, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined, "why does HarrisRabin want to sell it? Houses ain't like cloaks and suits, Mawruss, youadmit it yourself. We sell goods because we don't get no income bykeepin' 'em. If we have our store full with cloaks, Mawruss, and theybrought in a good income while they was in here, Mawruss, I wouldn'twant to sell 'em, Mawruss; I'd want to keep 'em. " "Sure, " Morris replied. "But if the income was only four hundred andfifty dollars a month, and next month you got a daughter what wasgetting married to Alec Goldwasser, drummer for Klinger & Klein, and yougot to give Alec a couple of thousand dollars with her, but you don'thave no ready cash, _then_, Abe, you'd sell them cloaks, and so that'swhy Harris Rabin wants to sell the house. " "I want to tell you something, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Harris Rabincould sell a phonograft to a deef-and-dummy. He could sell movingpictures to a home for the blind, Mawruss. He could also sell anythinghe wanted to anybody, Mawruss, for you know as well as I do, Mawruss, Harris Rabin is a first-class, A-number-one salesman. And so, if hewants to sell his house so cheap there's lots of real-estaters what knowa bargain in houses when they see it. We don't, Mawruss. We ain'treal-estaters. We're in the cloak and suit business, and why shouldHarris Rabin be looking for us to buy his house?" "He ain't looking for us, Abe, " Morris went on. "That's just the point. I was by Harris Rabin's house last night, and I seen no less than threereal-estaters there. They all want that house, Abe, and if they want it, why shouldn't we? Ike Magnus makes Harris an offer of forty-eightthousand five hundred while I was sitting there already, but Harriswants forty-nine for it. I bet yer, Abe, we could get it for forty-eightseven-fifty--three thousand cash above the mortgages. " "I suppose, Mawruss, you got three thousand lying loose around yourpants' pocket. What?" "Three thousand to a firm like us is nothing, Abe. I bet yer I could goin and see Feder of the Kosciusko Bank and get it for the asking. Weain't so poor, Abe, but what we can buy a bargain when we see it. " Abe shrugged his shoulders. "Well, Mawruss, if I got to hear about Harris Rabin's house for therest of my life, all right. I'm agreeable, Mawruss; only, don't ask meto go to no lawyers' offices nor nothing, Mawruss. There's enough to doin the store, Mawruss, without both of us loafing around lawyers'offices. " A more grudging acquiescence than this would have satisfied Morris, and, without pausing for a cigar, he put on his hat and made straight forHarris Rabin's place of business. The Equinox Clothing Company of whichHarris Rabin was president, board of directors and sole stockholder, occupied the third loft of a building on Walker Street. There was noelevator, and as Morris walked upstairs he encountered Ike Magnus at thefirst landing. "Hallo, Mawruss!" Ike cried. "Are you buying clothing now? I thought youwas in the cloak and suit business. " "Whatever business I'm in, Ike, " Morris replied, "I'm in my ownbusiness, Ike; and what is somebody else's business ain't my business, Ike. That's the way I feel about it. " He plodded slowly up the next flight, and there stood Samuel Michaelson, another real-estate operator. "Ah, Mr. Perlmutter!" Samuel exclaimed. "You get around to see theclothing trade once in a while, too. Ain't it?" "I get around to see all sorts of trade, Mr. Michaelson, " Morrisrejoined. "I got to get around and hustle to make a living, Mr. Michaelson, because, Mr. Michaelson, I can't make no living by loafingaround street corners and buildings, Mr. Michaelson. " "Don't mention it, " said Mr. Michaelson as Morris started up the lastflight. When he entered the Equinox Clothing Company's office the clangof the bell drowned out the last words of Marks Henochstein's sentence. Mr. Henochstein, another member of the real-estate fraternity, was inintimate conference with Harris Rabin. "I think we got him going, " he was saying. "My wife seen Mrs. Perlmutterat a _Kaffeeklatsch_ yesterday, and she told her I made you an offer offorty-eight four-fifty for the house. Last night when he came around toyour place I told him the house ain't no bargain for any one what ain'ta real-estater, y'understand, and he gets quite mad about it. Also, Iwatched him when Ike Magnus tells you he would give forty-eight five forit, and he turned pale. If he----" At this juncture the doorbell rang and Morris entered. "No, sir_ee_, sir, " Harris Rabin bawled. "Forty-nine thousand is myfigure, and that ain't forty-eight nine ninety-nine neither. " Here he recognized Morris Perlmutter with an elaborate start andextended his hand in greeting. "Hallo, Mawruss, " he said. "Them real-estaters pester the life out of afeller. 'Tain't no use your hanging around here, Henochstein, " he calledin sterner tones. "When I make up my mind I make up my mind, and that'sall there is to it. " Henochstein turned in crestfallen silence and passed slowly out of theroom. "Them sharks ain't satisfied that you're giving away a house, Mawruss, "Harris went on. "They want it you should let 'em have coupons andtrading stamps with it. " "How much did he offer you?" Morris asked. "Forty-eight five-fifty, " Harris Rabin replied. "That feller's got anerve like a horse. " "Oh, I don't know, " Morris murmured. "Forty-eight five-fifty is a goodprice for the house, Harris. " "Is it?" Harris cried. "Well, maybe you think so, but you ain't such a_gri_terion. " Morris was visibly offended at so harsh a rejoinder. "I know I ain't, Harris, " he said. "If I was I wouldn't be here, Harris. I come here like a friend, not like one of them--them--fellers what youtalk about. If it wasn't that my Minnie is such a friend to yourdaughter Miriam I shouldn't bother myself; but, knowing Alec Goldwasseras I do, and being a friend of yours always up to now, Harris, I come toyou and say I will give you forty-eight six hundred for the house, andthat is my last word. " Harris Rabin laughed aloud. "Jokes you are making it, Mawruss, " he said. "A joke is a joke, but whena feller got all the trouble what I got it, as you know, Mawruss, he gota hard time seeing a joke, Mawruss. " "That ain't no joke, Harris, " Morris replied. "That's an offer, and Ican sit right down now and make a memorandum if you want it, and pay youfifty dollars as a binder. " "I'll tell you what I'll do, Mawruss, " Harris said. "You raisedHenochstein fifty dollars, so I'll come down fifty dollars, and that'llbe forty-eight thousand nine hundred and fifty. " He grew suddenly excited and grabbed Morris by the arm. "Don't let's waste no time about it, " he cried. "What's the use ofmemorandums? We go right away by Henry D. Feldman and fix up thecontract. " "Hold on. " Morris said with a stare that blended frigidity and surprisein just the right proportions. "I ain't said nothing about forty-eightnine-fifty. What I said was forty-eight six. " "You don't mean that, Mawruss, " Harris replied. "You mean forty-eight_nine_. " Morris saw that the psychological moment had arrived. "Look-y here, now, Harris, " he said. "Forty-eight six from forty-eightnine is three hundred. Ain't it?" Harris nodded. "Then, " Morris announced, "we'll split the difference and make itforty-eight seven-fifty. " For one thoughtful moment Harris remained silent, and then he clappedhis hand into that of Morris. "Done!" he cried. Twenty days elapsed, during which Potash & Perlmutter took title toHarris Rabin's house and paid the balance of the purchase price, moieties of which found their way into the pockets of Magnus, Michaelsonand Henochstein. At length, the first of the month arrived and Abe andMorris left the store early so that they might collect the rents oftheir real property. "_I_ seen the house, Abe, and _you_ seen the house, " Morris said as theyturned the corner of the crowded East Side street on which theirproperty fronted, "but you can't tell nothing from looking at aproperty, Abe. When you get the rents, Abe, _that's_ when you find itout that you got a fine property, Abe. " He led the way up the front stoop of the tenement and knocked at thefirst door on the left-hand side. There was no response. "They must be out. Ain't it?" Abe suggested. Morris faced about and knocked on the opposite door, with a similar lackof response. "I guess they go out to work and lock up their rooms, " Morris explained. "We should have came here after seven o'clock. " They walked to the end of the hall and knocked on the door of one of thetwo rear apartments. "Come!" said a female voice. Morris opened the door and they entered. "We've come for the rent, " he said. "Him and me is the new landlords. " The tenant excused herself while she retired to one of the inner roomsand explored her person for the money. Then she handed Morris ten greasyone-dollar bills. "What's this?" Morris cried. "I thought the rear rooms were fourteendollars a month. I saw the receipts made out last month. " The tenant grinned fiendishly. "Sure you did, " she replied. "We've been getting all kinds of receipts. Oncet we got a receipt for eighteen dollars, when dere was somevacancies in de house, but one of de syndicate says he'd get some moreof dem 'professional' tenants, because it didn't look so good to afeller what comes snooping around for to _buy_ the house, to see suchhigh rents. " "Syndicate?" Abe murmured. "Professional tenants?" "Sure, " the tenant replied. "Dere was four to de syndicate. Magnus wasone. Sumpin about a hen was de other, and den dere was dis here Rabinand a guy called Michaelson. " "And what is this about professional tenants?" Morris croaked. "Oh, dere was twenty-four families in de house, includin' dehousekeeper, " the tenant replied. "Eighteen of 'em was professionals, and when de syndicate sold youse de house de professionals moved up to ahouse on Fourt' Street what de syndicate owns. " Abe pulled his hat over his eyes and thrust his hands into his trousers'pockets. "S'enough, lady, " he said; "I heard enough already. " He turned to Morris. "Yes, Mawruss, " he said bitterly. "You're right. There ain't no seasonsin real estate nor in suckers neither, Mawruss. You can catch 'em everyday in the year, Mawruss. I'm going home, but if you need an expresswagon to carry away them rents, Mawruss, there's a livery stable aroundthe corner. " It was at least a week before Abe could bring himself to address hispartner, save in the gruffest monosyllables; but an unusual rush ofspring customers brought about a reconciliation, and Abe and Morrisforgot their real-estate venture in the reception of out-of-town trade. In the conduct of their business Morris devoted himself to manufacturingand shipping the goods, while Abe attended to the selling end. Twice ayear Abe made a long trip to the West or South, with shorter trips downEast between times, and he never tired of reminding his partner howoverworked he, Abe, was. "I got my hands full, Mawruss, " he said, after he had greeted half adozen Western customers; "I got enough to do here, Mawruss, withoutrunning around the country. We ought to do what other houses does, Mawruss. We ought to get a good salesman. We got three thousand dollarsto throw away on real estate, Mawruss; why don't we make an investmentlike Sammet Brothers made it? Why don't we invest in a crackerjack, A-number-one salesman?" "I ain't stopping you, Abe, " Morris replied. "Why don't we? Klinger &Klein has a good boy, Alec Goldwasser. He done a big trade for 'em, Abe, and they don't pay him much, neither. " "Alec Goldwasser!" Abe cried. "I'm surprised to hear you, Mawruss, youshould talk that way. We paid Alec Goldwasser enough already, Mawruss. We paid him that two thousand dollars what he got with Miriam Rabin. " Morris looked guilty. "Ain't I told you yet, Abe?" he said. "I thought I told you. " "You ain't told me nothing, " said Abe. "Why, Alec Goldwasser and Miriam Rabin ain't engaged no longer. The waymy Minnie tells me, Rabin says he don't want his daughter should marry aman without a business of his own, so the match is off. " "Well, Mawruss, " Abe commented, "you can't make me feel bad by tellingme _that_. But anyhow, I don't see no medals on Alec Goldwasser as asalesman, neither. He ain't such a salesman what we want it, Mawruss. " "All right, " Morris replied. "It's you what goes on the road, not me, and you meet all the drummers. Suggest somebody yourself. " Abe pondered for a moment. "There's Louis Mintz, " he said finally. "He works by Sammet Brothers. He's a high-priced man, Mawruss, but he's worth it. " "Sure he's worth it, " Morris rejoined, "and he knows it, too. I bet yerhe's making five thousand a year by Sammet Brothers. " "I know it, " said Abe, "but his contract expires in a month from now, and it ain't no cinch to work for Sammet Brothers, neither, Mawruss. Ibet yer Louis' got throat trouble, talking into a customer them garmentswhat Leon Sammet makes up, and Louis' pretty well liked in the trade, too, Mawruss. " "Well, why don't you see him, Abe?" "I'll tell you the truth, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I _did_ see him. Ioffered him all what Sammet Brothers gives him, and I told him we make abetter line for the price, but it ain't no use. Louis says a salesman'sgot to work hard anyhow, so he may as well work a little harder, and hesays, too, it spoils a man's trade when he makes changes. " Here a customer entered the store and Abe was busy for more than half anhour. At the end of that time the customer departed and Morris returnedto the show-room. "Abe, " he said, "I got an idea. " Abe looked up. "More real estate?" he asked. "Not more real estate, Abe, " Morris corrected, "but the _same_ realestate. When we're stuck we're stuck, Abe, ain't it?" Abe nodded. "So I got an idea, " Morris went on, "that we go to Louis and tell him wegive him the same money what Sammet Brothers give him, only we give hima bonus. " "A bonus!" Abe cried. "How much of a bonus?" "A _big_ bonus, Abe, " Morris replied. "We'll give him the house. " Abe remained silent. "It'll look big, anyhow, " Morris continued. "Look big!" Abe exclaimed. "It is big. It's three thousand dollars. " "Well, you can't reckon stickers by what they cost, " Morris explained. "It's what they'll sell for. " "You're right, Mawruss, " Abe commented bitterly. "And that housewouldn't sell for Confederate money. I'll see Louis Mintz to-night. " Abe saw Louis that very evening, and they met by appointment at thestore ten days later. In the meantime Louis had inspected the house, andwhen he entered Potash & Perlmutter's show-room his face wore none toocheerful an expression. "Well, Louis, " Abe cried, "you come to tell us it's all right. Ain'tit?" Louis shook his head. "Abe, " he said, "the old saying is you should never look at a horse'steeth what somebody gives you, but that house is pretty near vacant. " "What of it?" Abe asked. "It's a fine house, ain't it?" "Sure, it's a fine house, " Louis agreed. "But what good is a fine houseif you can't rent it? You can't eat it, can you?" "No, " Morris replied, "but you can sell it. " "Well, " Louis admitted, "selling houses ain't in my line? Maybe if Iknew enough about it I could sell it. " "But there's real-estaters what knows all about selling a house, " Morrisbegan. "You bet there is, " Abe interrupted savagely. "And you could get a real-estater to sell it for you, " Morris concludedwith malevolent glance at his partner. Louis consulted a list of the tenants which he had made. "I'll think it over, " he said, "and let you know to-morrow. " The next day he greeted Abe and Morris more cordially. "I thought it over, Abe, " he said, "and I guess it'll be all right. " "Fine!" Abe cried. "Let's go down and see Henry D. Feldman right away. " Just as a congenital dislocation of the hipbone suggests the name ofDoctor Lorenz, so the slightest dislocation of the cloak and suitbusiness immediately calls for Henry D. Feldman. No cloak and suitbankruptcy would be complete without his name as attorney, either forthe petitioning creditors or the bankrupt, and no action for breach ofcontract of employment on the part of a designer or a salesman couldsuccessfully go to the jury unless Henry D. Feldman wept crocodile tearsover the summing up of the plaintiff's case. In the art of drawing agreements relative to the cloak and suit tradein all its phases of buying, selling, employing or renting, he was avirtuoso, and his income was that of six Supreme Court judges rolledinto one. For the rest, he was of impressive, clean-shaven appearance, and he was of the opinion that a liberal sprinkling of Latin phrasesrendered his conversation more pleasing to his clients. Louis and Abe were ushered into his office only after half an hour'swaiting at the end of a line of six clients, and they wasted no time instating their business. "Mr. Feldman, " Abe murmured, "this is Mr. Louis Mintz what comes to workby us as a salesman. " "Mr. Mintz, " Mr. Feldman said, "you are to be congratulated. Potash &Perlmutter have a reputation in the trade _nulli secundum_, and it isgenerally admitted that the goods they produce are _summa cum laude_. " "We make fall and winter goods, too, " Abe explained. "All kinds ofgarments, Mr. Feldman. I don't want to give Louis no wrong impression. He's got to handle lightweights as well as heavyweights, too. " Mr. Feldman stared blankly at Abe and then continued: "No doubt you havequite settled on the terms. " "We've talked it all over, " said Louis, "and this is what it is. " He then specified the salary and commission to be paid, and engaged Mr. Feldman to draw the deed for the tenement house. "And how long is this contract to last?" Feldman asked. "For five years, " Abe replied. "Five years nothing, " said Louis. "I wouldn't work for no one on a fiveyears' contract. One year is what I want it. " "One year!" Abe cried. "Why, Louis, that ain't no way to talk. In oneyear you'd just about get well enough acquainted with our trade--ofcourse, I'm only _talking_, y'understand--to cop it out for some otherhouse what would pay you a couple of hundred more. No, Louis, I think itought to be for five years. " "Of course, if you think I'm the kind what takes a job to cop out thefirm's trade, Abe, " Louis commenced, "why----" "I'm only saying for the sake of argument, " Abe hastened to explain. "I'll tell you what I'll do, Louis: I'll make it two years, and at theend of that time if you want to quit you can do it; only, you shouldagree not to work as salesman for no other house for the space of oneyear afterward or you can go on working for us for one year afterward. How's that?" "I think that's eminently fair, " Mr. Feldman broke in hurriedly. "Youcan't refuse those terms, Mr. Mintz. Mr. Potash will sign for hispartner, I apprehend, and then Mr. Perlmutter will be bound under theprinciple of _qui fecit per alium fecit per se_. " No one could stand up against such a flood of Latin, and Louis nodded. "All right, " he said. "Let her go that way. " Mr. Feldman immediately rang for a stenographer. "Come back to-morrow at four o'clock, " he said. "I shall send a clerkwith the deed to be signed by Mrs. Potash and Mrs. Perlmutter to-night. " The next afternoon, at half an hour after the appointed time, thecontract was executed and the deed delivered to Louis Mintz, and on thefirst of the following month Louis entered upon his new employment. Louis' first season with his new employers was fraught with good resultsfor Potash & Perlmutter, who reaped large profits from Louis'salesmanship; but for Louis it had been somewhat disappointing. "I never see nothing like it, " he complained to Abe. "That tenementhouse is like a summer hotel--people coming and going all the time; andevery time a tenant moves yet I got to pay for painting and repaperingthe rooms. You certainly stuck me good on that house. " "Stuck you!" Abe cried. "We didn't stuck you, Louis. We just give youthe house as a bonus. If it don't rent well, Louis, you ought to sellit. " "Don't I know I ought to sell it?" Louis cried; "but who's going to buyit? Real-estater after real-estater comes to look at it, and it allamounts to nix. They wouldn't take the house for the mortgages. " For nearly a year and a half Louis and Abe repeated this conversationevery time Louis came back from the road, and on the days when Louispaid interest on mortgages and premiums on fire insurance he grewpositively tearful. "Why don't you pay me what I am short from paying carrying charges onthat property?" Louis asked one day. "And I'll give you the house back. " Abe laughed. "You should make that proposition to the feller what sold us the house, "Abe said jocularly. "Any one what sold that house once, Abe, " Louis rejoined, "don't want itback again. " At length, when Louis was absent on a business trip some three monthsbefore the expiration of his contract, Abe approached Morris in theshow-room and mooted the subject of taking back the house. "That house is a sticker, Mawruss, " he said, "and we certainly shouldn'tlet Louis suffer by it. The boy done well by us, and we don't want tolose him. " "Well, Abe, " Morris replied, "the way I look at it, we should wait tillhis time is pretty near up. Maybe he will renew the contract without ourtaking back the house, Abe; but if the worst comes to the worst, Abe, wegive him what he spent on the house and take it back, _providing_ herenews the contract for a couple of years. Ain't it?" Abe nodded doubtfully. "Maybe you're right, Mawruss, " he said; "but the boy done good for us, Mawruss. We made it a big profit by him this year already, and I don'twant him to think that we ain't doing the right thing by him. " "Since when was you so soft-hearted, Abe?" Morris asked satirically; andwhen Louis came back from the road, a week later, no mention was made ofthe house until Louis himself broached the topic. "Look'y here, Abe, " Louis said, "what are you going to do for me aboutthat house? Counting the rent I collected and the money I laid out forcarrying charges, I'm in the hole eight hundred and fifty dollarsalready. " "Do for you, Louis!" Morris replied. "Why, what can we do for you? Whydon't you fix it up like this, Louis? Why don't you make one lastcampaign among the real-estaters, and then if you don't succeed maybe wecan do something. " "That's right, Louis, " Abe said. "Just try it and see what comes of it. " Then Abe handed Louis a cigar and dismissed the subject, which neveragain arose until Louis was on his final trip. "Ain't it funny, Mawruss, " Abe said, the morning of Louis' expectedreturn--"ain't it funny he ain't mentioned that house to us since wespoke to him the last time he was home?" "I know it, " Morris replied, "but you needn't worry, Abe. It says inthe contract that Louis can't take a job as salesman with any otherhouse till one year is up, and the boy can't afford to stay loafingaround for a whole year. " Abe nodded, and as he turned to look up the contract in the safe thestore door opened and Louis himself entered. "Hallo, Louis, " Abe cried. "Glad to see you, Louis. Another good trip?" Louis nodded, and they all passed into the show-room. "Well, you're going to make many more of them for us before you'rethrough, Louis, " Abe said. Louis grunted, and Abe and Morris exchanged disquieting glances. "You know, Louis, " Morris said in the dulcet accents of the suckingdove, "your contract is up next week, and Abe and me was talking aboutit the other day, Louis, and about the house, too, and we says we shoulddo something about that house, Louis, and so we'll make another contractfor about, say, three years, and we'll fix it up about the house when weall sign the contract, Louis. We meant to take back the house all thetime, Louis. We was only kidding you along, Louis, " he continued. "So you was only kidding me along when you told me to see themreal-estaters, hey?" Louis demanded. "Sure, " Abe and Morris replied. "Then you was the ones what got kidded, " Louis said, "for the last timeI was in town I took your advice. Do you know a feller calledMichaelson? And two other fellers by the name of Henochstein andMagnus?" Abe nodded. "Well, them three fellers took that house off of my hands and paid mesix hundred dollars to boot, over and above the seven hundred and fiftyI sunk in it. " Abe and Morris puffed vigorously at their cigars. "And what's more, " Louis went on, "they introduced me to Harris Rabin, of the Equinox Clothing Company. I guess you know him, too, don't you?" Morris admitted sullenly that he did. "He's got a daughter, Miss Miriam Rabin, " Louis concluded. "Her and meis going to announce our engagement in next Sunday's Herald. " He paused and watched Morris and Abe, to see the news sink in. "And as soon as we're married, " he said, "back to the road for mine, butnot with Potash & Perlmutter. " "I guess you're mistaken, Louis, " Abe cried. "I guess you got a contractwith us what will stop you going on the road for another year yet. " "Back up, Abe, " Louis said. "That there contract says I can't work as a_salesman_ for any other house for a year. But Rabin and me is going aspartners together in the cloak and suit business, and if there'sanything in that contract about me not selling cloaks as my own bossI'll eat it. " Abe went to the safe for the contract. At last he found it, and afterreading it over he handed it to Morris. "_You_ eat it, Mawruss, " he said. "Louis is right. " CHAPTER VI "After all, Mawruss, " Abe declared as he glanced over the columns of theDaily Cloak and Suit Record, "after all a feller feels more satisfiedwhen he could see the customers himself and find out just exactly howthey do business, y'understand. Maybe the way we lost Louis Mintz wasn'tsuch a bad thing anyhow, Mawruss. I bet yer if Louis would of beenselling goods for us, Mawruss, we would of been in that Cohen &Schondorf business too. Me, I am different, Mawruss. So soon as I wentin that store, Mawruss, I could see that them fellers was in bad. I'mvery funny that way, Mawruss. " "You shouldn't throw no bouquets at yourself because you got a littleluck, Abe, " Morris commented. "Some people calls it luck, Mawruss, but I call it judgment, y'understand. " "Sure, I know, " Morris continued, "but how about Hymie Kotzen, Abe?Always you said it that feller got lots of judgment, Abe. " "A feller could got so much judgment as Andrew Carnegie, " Abe retorted, "and oncet in a while he could play in hard luck too. Yes, Mawruss, Hymie Kotzen is certainly playing in hard luck. " "Is he?" Morris Perlmutter replied. "Well, he don't look it when I seenhim in the Harlem Winter Garden last night, Abe. Him and Mrs. Kotzen waseating a family porterhouse between 'em with tchampanyer wine yet. " "Well, Mawruss, " Abe said, "he needs it tchampanyer wine, Mawruss. Lastmonth I seen it he gets stung two thousand by Cohen & Schondorf, andto-day he's chief mourner by the Ready Pay Store, Barnet Fischmanproprietor. Barney stuck him for fifteen hundred, Mawruss, so I guess heneeds it tchampanyer wine to cheer him up. " "Well, maybe he needs it diamonds to cheer him up, also, Abe, " Morrisadded. "That feller got diamonds on him, Abe, like 'lectric lights onthe front of a moving-picture show. " "Diamonds never harmed nobody's credit, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "You canget your money out of diamonds most any time, Mawruss. I see by thepapers diamonds increase in price thirty per cent. In six monthsalready. Yes, Mawruss, diamonds goes up every day. " "And so does the feller what wears 'em, Abe, " Morris went on. "In fact, the way that Hymie Kotzen does business I shouldn't be surprised if hegoes up any day, too. Andrew Carnegie couldn't stand it the failureswhat that feller gets into, Abe. " "That's just hard luck, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "and if he wears itdiamonds, Mawruss, he paid for 'em himself, Mawruss, and he's got aright to wear 'em. So far what I hear it, Mawruss, he never stuck nobodyfor a cent. " "Oh, Hymie ain't no crook, Abe, " Morris admitted, "but I ain't got nouse for a feller wearing diamonds. Diamonds looks good on women, Abe, and maybe also on a hotel-clerk or a feller what runs a restaurant, Abe, but a business man ain't got no right wearing diamonds. " "Of course, Mawruss, people's got their likes and dislikes, " Abe said;"but all the same I seen it many a decent, respectable feller with agood business, Abe, what wants a little accommodation at his bank. Buthe gets turned down just because he goes around looking like a slob;while a feller what can't pay his own laundry bill, Mawruss, has notrouble getting a thousand dollars because the second vice-president isbuffaloed already by a stovepipe hat, a Prince Albert coat and afour-carat stone with a flaw in it. " "Well, a four-carat stone wouldn't affect me none, Abe, " Morris said, "and believe me, Abe, Hymie Kotzen's diamonds don't worry me none, neither. All I'm troubling about now is that I got an appetite like ahorse, so I guess I'll go to lunch. " Abe jumped to his feet. "Give me a chance oncet in a while, Mawruss, "he protested. "Every day comes half-past twelve you got to go to yourlunch. Ain't I got no stomach, neither, Mawruss?" "Oh, go ahead if you want to, " Morris grumbled, "only don't stay allday, Abe. Remember there's other people wants to eat, too, Abe. " "I guess the shoe pinches on the other foot now, Mawruss, " Abe retortedas he put on his hat. "When I get through eating I'll be back. " He walked across the street to Wasserbauer's Café and Restaurant andseated himself at his favorite table. "Well, Mr. Potash, " Louis, the waiter, cried, dusting off the tableclothwith a red-and-white towel, "some nice _Metzelsuppe_ to-day, huh?" "No, Louis, " Abe replied as he took a dill pickle from a dishful on thetable, "I guess I won't have no soup to-day. Give me some _gedämpftesKalbfleisch mit Kartoffelklösse_. " "Right away quick, Mr. Potash, " said Louis, starting to hurry away. "Ain't I nobody here, Louis?" cried a bass voice at the table behindAbe. "Do I sit here all day?" "Ex-cuse me, Mr. Kotzen, " Louis exclaimed. "Some nice roast chickento-day, Mr. Kotzen?" "I'll tell you what I want it, Louis, not you me, " Mr. Kotzen grunted. "If I want to eat it roast chicken I'll say so. If I don't I won't. " "Sure, sure, " Louis cried, rubbing his hands in a perfect frenzy ofapology. "Gimme a _Schweizerkäse_ sandwich and a cup of coffee, " Mr. Kotzenconcluded, "and if you don't think you can bring it back here in half anhour, Louis, let me know, that's all, and I'll ask Wasserbauer if he canhelp you out. " Abe had started on his second dill pickle, and he held it in his hand ashe turned around in his chair. "Hallo, Hymie, " he said; "ain't youfeeling good to-day?" "Oh, hallo, Abe, " Kotzen cried, glancing over; "why don't you come overand sit at my table?" "I guess I will, " Abe replied. He rose to his feet with his napkintucked into his collar and, carrying the dish of dill pickles with him, he moved over to Kotzen's table. "What's the matter, Hymie?" Abe asked. "You ain't sick, are you?" "That depends what you call it sick, Abe, " Hymie replied. "I don't gotto see no doctor exactly, Abe, if that's what you mean. But that SamFeder by the Kosciusko Bank, I was over to see him just now, and I betyou he makes me sick. " "I thought you always got along pretty good with Sam, Hymie, " Abemumbled through a mouthful of dill pickle. "So I do, " said Hymie; "but he heard it something about this here ReadyPay Store and how I'm in it for fifteen hundred, and also this Cohen &Schondorf sticks me also, and he's getting anxious. So, either he wantsme I should give him over a couple of accounts, or either I should takeup some of my paper. Well, you know Feder, Abe. He don't want nothingbut A Number One concerns, and then he got the bank's lawyer what is hisson-in-law, De Witt C. Feinholz, that he should draw up the papers; andso it goes. I got it bills receivable due the first of the month, fivethousand dollars from such people like Heller, Blumenkrohn & Co. , ofCincinnati, and The Emporium, Duluth, all gilt-edge accounts, Abe, andwhy should I lose it twenty per cent. On them, ain't it?" "Sure, " Abe murmured. "Well, that's what I told Feder, " Hymie went on. "If I got to take up acouple of thousand dollars I'll do it. But running a big plant like Igot it, Abe, naturally it makes me a little short. " "Naturally, " Abe agreed. He scented what was coming. "But anyhow, I says to Feder, I got it lots of friends in the trade, andI ain't exactly broke yet, neither, Abe. " He lifted his Swiss-cheese sandwich in his left hand, holding out thethird finger the better to display a five-carat stone, while Abe devotedhimself to his veal. "Of course, Abe, " Hymie continued, "on the first of the month--that'sonly two weeks already--things will be running easy for me. " He looked at Abe for encouragement, but Abe's facial expression wascompletely hidden by veal stew, fragments of which were clinging to hiseyebrows. "But, naturally, I'm at present a little short, " Hymie croaked, "and soI thought maybe you could help me out with, say a thousand dollars tillthe first of the month, say. " Abe laid down his knife and fork and massaged his face with his napkin. "For my part, Hymie, " he said, "you should have it in a minute. I knowit you are good as gold, and if you say that you will pay on the firstof the month a U-nited States bond ain't no better. " He paused impressively and laid a hand on Hymie's knee. "Only, Hymie, " he concluded, "I got it a partner. Ain't it? And you knowMawruss Perlmutter, Hymie. He's a pretty hard customer, Hymie, and if Iwas to draw you the firm's check for a thousand, Hymie, that fellerwould have a receiver by the court to-morrow morning already. He's aholy terror, Hymie, believe me. " Hymie sipped gloomily at his coffee. "But Mawruss Perlmutter was always a pretty good friend of mine, Abe, "he said. "Why shouldn't he be willing to give it me if you areagreeable? Ain't it? And, anyhow, Abe, it can't do no harm to ask him. " "Well, Hymie, he's over at the store now, " Abe replied. "Go ahead andask him. " "I know it what he'd say if I ask him, Abe. He'd tell me I should seeyou; but you say I should see him, and then I'm up in the air. Ain'tit?" Abe treated himself to a final rubdown with the napkin and scrambled tohis feet. "All right, Hymie, " he said. "If you want me I should ask him I'll askhim. " "Remember, Abe, " Hymie said as Abe turned away, "only till the first, sosure what I'm sitting here. I'll ring you up in a quarter of an hour. " When Abe entered the firm's show-room five minutes later he found Morrisconsuming the last of some crullers and coffee brought in from a near-bybakery by Jake, the shipping clerk. "Well, Abe, maybe you think that's a joke you should keep me here acouple of hours already, " Morris said. "Many a time I got to say that to you already, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "But, anyhow, I didn't eat it so much, Mawruss. It was Hymie Kotzen whatkeeps me. " "Hymie Kotzen!" Morris cried. "What for should he keep you, Abe? Blowsyou to some tchampanyer wine, maybe?" "Tchampanyer he ain't drinking it to-day, Mawruss, I bet yer, " Abereplied. "He wants to lend it from us a thousand dollars. " Morris laughed raucously. "What a chance!" he said. "Till the first of the month, Mawruss, " Abe continued, "and I thoughtmaybe we would let him have it. " Morris ceased laughing and glared at Abe. "Tchampanyer you must have been drinking it, Abe, " he commented. "Why shouldn't we let him have it, Mawruss?" Abe demanded. "Hymie's agood feller, Mawruss, and a smart business man, too. " "Is he?" Morris yelled. "Well, he ain't smart enough to keep out offailures like Barney Fischman's and Cohen & Schondorf's, Abe, but he'stoo smart to lend it us a thousand dollars, supposing we was short for acouple of days. No, Abe, I heard it enough about Hymie Kotzen already. Iwouldn't positively not lend him nothing, Abe, and that's flat. " To end the discussion effectually he went to the cutting-room upstairsand remained there when Hymie rang up. "It ain't no use, Hymie, " Abe said. "Mawruss wouldn't think of it. We'reshort ourselves. You've no idee what trouble we got it with some of ourcollections. " "But, Abe, " Hymie protested, "I got to have the money. I promised FederI would give it him this afternoon. " Abe remained silent. "I tell you what I'll do, Abe, " Hymie insisted; "I'll come around andsee you. " "It won't be no use, Hymie, " Abe said, but Central was his only auditor, for Hymie had hung up the receiver. Indeed, Abe had hardly returned tothe show-room before Hymie entered the store door. "Where's Mawruss?" he asked. "Up in the cutting-room, " Abe replied. "Good!" Hymie cried. "Now look'y here, Abe, I got a proposition to makeit to you. " He tugged at the diamond ring on the third finger of his left hand andlaid it on a sample-table. Then from his shirt-bosom he unscrewed aminiature locomotive headlight, which he deposited beside the ring. "See them stones, Abe?" he continued. "They costed it me one thousandthree hundred dollars during the panic already, and to-day I wouldn'ttake two thousand for 'em. Now, Abe, you sit right down and write me outa check for a thousand dollars, and so help me I should never stir outof this here office, Abe, if I ain't on the spot with a thousand dollarsin hand two weeks from to-day, Abe, you can keep them stones, settingsand all. " Abe's eyes fairly bulged out of his head as he looked at the blazingdiamonds. "But, Hymie, " he exclaimed, "I don't want your diamonds. If I had it themoney myself, Hymie, believe me, you are welcome to it like you was myown brother. " "I know all about that, Abe, " Hymie replied, "but you ain't Mawruss, andif you got such a regard for me what you claim you have, Abe, goupstairs and ask Mawruss Perlmutter will he do it me the favor and letme have that thousand dollars with the stones as security. " Without further parley Abe turned and left the show-room. "Mawruss, " he called from the foot of the stairs, "come down here once. I want to show you something. " In the meantime Hymie pulled down the shades and turned on the electriclights. Then he took a swatch of black velveteen from his pocket andarranged it over the sample-table with the two gems in its folds. "Hymie Kotzen is inside the show-room, " Abe explained when Morrisappeared in answer to his summons. "Well, what have I got to do with Hymie Kotzen?" Morris demanded. "Come inside and speak to him, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "He won't eatyou. " "Maybe you think I'm scared to turn him down, Abe?" Morris concluded ashe led the way to the show-room. "Well, I'll show you different. " "Hallo, Mawruss, " Hymie cried. "What's the good word?" Morris grunted an inarticulate greeting. "What you got all the shades down for, Abe?" he asked. "Don't touch 'em, " Hymie said. "Just you have a look at thissample-table first. " Hymie seized Morris by the arm and turned him around until he faced thevelveteen. "Ain't them peaches, Mawruss?" he asked. Morris stared at the diamonds, almost hypnotized by their brilliancy. "Them stones belong to you, Mawruss, " Hymie went on, "if I don't pay youinside of two weeks the thousand dollars what you're going to lend me. " "We ain't going to lend you no thousand dollars, Hymie, " Morris said atlast, "because we ain't got it to lend. We need it in our own business, Hymie, and, besides, you got the wrong idee. We ain't no pawnbrokers, Hymie; we are in the cloak and suit business. " "Hymie knows it all about that, Mawruss, " Abe broke in, "and he shows heain't no crook, neither. If he's willing to trust you with themdiamonds, Mawruss, we should be willing to trust him with a thousanddollars. Ain't it?" "He could trust me with the diamonds, Abe, because I ain't got no usefor diamonds, " Morris replied. "If anyone gives me diamonds that Ishould take care of it into the safe they go. I ain't a person whatsticks diamonds all over myself, Abe, and I don't buy no tchampanyerwine one day and come around trying to lend it from people a thousanddollars the next day, Abe. " "It was my wife's birthday, " Hymie explained; "and if I got to spend itmy last cent, Mawruss, I always buy tchampanyer on my wife's birthday. " "All right, Hymie, " Morris retorted; "if you think it so much of yourwife, lend it from her a thousand dollars. " "Make an end, make an end, " Abe cried; "I hear it enough already. Putthem diamonds in the safe and we give Hymie a check for a thousanddollars. " Morris shrugged his shoulders. "All right, Abe, " he said. "Do what you please, but remember what I tellit you now. I don't know nothing about diamonds and I don't care nothingabout diamonds, and if it should be that we got to keep it the diamondsI don't want nothing to do with them. All I want it is my share of thethousand dollars. " He turned on his heel and banged the show-room door behind him, whileAbe pulled up the shades and Hymie turned off the lights. "That's a fine crank for you, Abe, " Hymie exclaimed. Abe said nothing, but sat down and wrote out a check for a thousanddollars. "I hope them diamonds is worth it, " he murmured, handing the check toHymie. "If they ain't, " Hymie replied as he made for the door, "I'll eat 'em, Abe, and I ain't got too good a di-gestion, neither. " At intervals of fifteen minutes during the remainder of the afternoonMorris visited the safe and inspected the diamonds until Abe was movedto criticise his partner's behavior. "Them diamonds ain't going to run away, Mawruss. " "Maybe they will, Abe, " Morris replied, "if we leave the safe open andpeople comes in and out all the time. " "So far, nobody ain't took nothing out of that safe, Mawruss, " Aberetorted; "but if you want to lock the safe I'm agreeable. " "What for should we lock the safe?" Morris asked. "We are all the timegetting things out of it what we need. Ain't it? A better idee I got it, Abe, is that you should put on the ring and I will wear the pin, or youwear the pin and I will put on the ring. " "No, siree, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "If I put it on a big pin like thatand I got to take it off again in a week's time might I would catch acold on my chest, maybe. Besides, I ain't built for diamonds, Mawruss. So, you wear 'em both, Mawruss. " Morris forced a hollow laugh. "Me wear 'em, Abe!" he exclaimed. "No, siree, Abe, I'm not the kind whatwears diamonds. I leave that to sports like Hymie Kotzen. " Nevertheless, he placed the ring on the third finger of his left hand, with the stone turned in, and carefully wrapping up the pin intissue-paper he placed it in his waistcoat pocket. The next day wasWednesday, and he screwed the pin into his shirt-front underneath afour-in-hand scarf. On Thursday he wore the ring with the stone exposed, and on Friday he discarded the four-in-hand scarf for a bow tie andshamelessly flaunted both ring and pin. "Mawruss, " Abe commented on Saturday, "must you stick out your littlefinger when you smoke it a cigar?" "Habits what I was born with, Abe, " Morris replied. "I can't help itnone. " "Maybe you was born with a diamond ring on your little finger. What?"Abe jeered. Morris glared at his partner. "If you think that I enjoy it wearing that ring, Abe, " he declared, "youare much mistaken. You got us to take these here diamonds, Abe, and ifthey got stole on us, Abe, we are not only out the thousand dollars, butwe would also got to pay it so much more as Hymie Kotzen would sue usfor in the courts. I got to wear this here ring, Abe, and that's allthere is to it. " He walked away to the rear of the store with the air of a martyr, whileAbe gazed after him in silent admiration. Two weeks sped quickly by, during which Morris safeguarded the diamondswith the utmost zest and enjoyment, and at length the settling dayarrived. Morris was superintending the unpacking of piece goods in thecutting-room when Abe darted upstairs. "Mawruss, " he hissed, "Hymie Kotzen is downstairs. " By a feat of legerdemain that a conjurer might have envied, Morristransferred the pin and ring to his waistcoat pocket and followed Abe tothe show-room. "Well, Hymie, " Morris cried, "we thought you would be prompt on the day. Ain't it?" Hymie smiled a sickly smirk in which there was as little mirth as therewas friendliness. "You got another think coming, " Hymie replied. "What d'ye mean?" Morris exclaimed. "I'm up against it, boys, " Hymie explained. "I expected to get it acheck for two thousand from Heller, Blumenkrohn this morning. " "And didn't it come?" Abe asked. "Sure it come, " Hymie replied, "but it was only sixteen hundred andtwenty dollars. They claim it three hundred and eighty dollars forshortage in delivery, so I returned 'em the check. " "You returned 'em the check, Hymie?" Morris cried. "And we got to waitfor our thousand dollars because you made it a shortage in delivery. " "I didn't make no shortage in delivery, " Hymie declared. "Well, Hymie, " Abe broke in, "you say it yourself Heller, Blumenkrohn isgilt-edge, A Number One people. They ain't going to claim no shortage ifthere wasn't none, Hymie. " "I guess you don't know Louis Blumenkrohn, Abe, " Hymie retorted. "Heclaims it shortage before he unpacks the goods already. " "Well, what has that got to do with us, Hymie?" Morris burst out. "You see how it is, boys, " Hymie explained; "so I got to ask it you acouple of weeks' extension. " "A couple of weeks' extension is nix, Hymie, " Abe said, and Morrisnodded his head in approval. "Either you give it us the thousand, Hymie, " was Morris' ultimatum, "oreither we keep the diamonds, and that's all there is to it. " "Now, Mawruss, " Hymie protested, "you ain't going to shut down on melike that! Make it two weeks more and I'll give you a hundred dollarsbonus and interest at six per cent. " Abe shook his head. "No, Hymie, " he said firmly, "we ain't no loansharks. If you got to get that thousand dollars to-day you will manageit somehow. So that's the way it stands. We keep open here till sixo'clock, Hymie, and the diamonds will be waiting for you as soon so youbring us the thousand dollars. That's all. " There was a note of finality in Abe's tones that made Hymie put on hishat and leave without another word. "Yes, Abe, " Morris commented as the door closed behind Hymie, "soliberal you must be with my money. Ain't I told you from the very startthat feller is a lowlife? Tchampanyer he must drink it on his wife'sbirthday, Abe, and also he got to wear it diamonds, Abe, when he ain'tgot enough money to pay his laundry bill yet. " "I ain't worrying, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "He ain't going to let uskeep them diamonds for a thousand dollars, Mawruss. They're worth awhole lot more as that, Mawruss. " "I don't know how much they're worth, Abe, " Morris grunted, putting onhis hat, "but one thing I do know; I'm going across the street to get ashave; and then I'm going right down to Sig Pollak on Maiden Lane, Abe, and I'll find out just how much they are worth. " A moment later he descended the basement steps into the barber-shopunder Wasserbauer's Café and Restaurant. "Hallo, Mawruss, " a voice cried from the proprietor's chair. "Ain't it ahot weather?" It was Sam Feder, vice-president of the Kosciusko Bank, who spoke. Hewas midway in the divided enjoyment of a shampoo and a large blackcigar, while an electric fan oscillated over his head. "I bet yer it's hot, Mr. Feder, " Morris agreed, taking off his coat. "Why don't you take your vest off, too, Mawruss?" Sam Feder suggested. "That's a good idee, " Morris replied, peeling off his waistcoat. He hungit next to his coat and relapsed with a sigh into the nearest vacantchair. "Just once around, Phil, " he said to the barber, and closed his eyes fora short nap. When he woke up ten minutes later Phil was spraying him with witch-hazelwhile the proprietor stood idly in front of the mirror and curled hisflowing black mustache. "Don't take it so particular, Phil, " Morris enjoined. "I ain't got itall day to sit here in this chair. " "All right, Mr. Perlmutter, all right, " Phil cried, and in less thanthree minutes, powdered, oiled and combed, Morris climbed out of thechair. His coat was in waiting, held by a diminutive Italian brushboy, but Morris waved his hand impatiently. "My vest, " he demanded. "I don't put my coat on under my vest. " The brushboy turned to the vacant row of hooks. "No gotta da vest, " he said. "What!" Morris gasped. "You didn't have no vest on, did you, Mr. Perlmutter?" the proprietorasked. "Sure I had a vest, " Morris cried. "Where is it?" On the wall hung a sign which advised customers to check their clothingwith the cashier or no responsibility would be assumed by themanagement, and it was to this notice that the proprietor pointed beforeanswering. "I guess somebody must have pinched it, " he replied nonchalantly. It was not until two hours after the disappearance of his waistcoatthat Morris returned to the store. In the meantime he had been to policeheadquarters and had inserted an advertisement in three dailynewspapers. Moreover he had consulted a lawyer, the eminent Henry D. Feldman, and had received no consolation either on the score of thebarber's liability to Potash & Perlmutter or of his own liability toKotzen. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe said, "how much are them diamonds worth?" Then he looked up and for the first time saw his partner's haggard face. "Holy smokes!" he cried. "They're winder-glass. " Morris shook his head. "I wish they was, " he croaked. "You wish they was!" Abe repeated in accents of amazement. "What d'yemean?" "Somebody pinched 'em on me, " Morris replied. "What!" Abe shouted. "S-sh, " Morris hissed as the door opened. It was Hymie Kotzen whoentered. "Well, boys, " he cried, "every cloud is silver-plated. Ain't it? Nosooner did I get back to my store than I get a letter from Henry D. Feldman that Cohen & Schondorf want to settle for forty cents cash. Onthe head of that, mind you, in comes Rudolph Heller from Cincinnati, andwhen I tell him about the check what they sent it me he fixes it up onthe spot. " He beamed at Abe and Morris. "So, bring out them diamonds, boys, " he concluded, "and we'll settle upC. O. D. " He pulled a roll of bills from his pocket and toyed with them, butneither Abe nor Morris stirred. "What's the hurry, Hymie?" Abe asked feebly. "What's the hurry, Abe!" Hymie repeated. "Well, ain't that a finequestion for you to ask it of me! Don't sit there like a dummy, Abe. Getthe diamonds and we'll fix it up. " "But wouldn't to-morrow do as well?" Morris asked. Hymie sat back and eyed Morris suspiciously. "What are you trying to do, Mawruss?" he asked. "Make jokes with me?" "I ain't making no jokes, Hymie, " Morris replied. "The fact is, Hymie, we got it the diamonds, now--in our--now--safety-deposit box, and itain't convenient to get at it now. " "Oh, it ain't, ain't it?" Hymie cried. "Well, it's got to be convenient;so, Abe, you get a move on you and go down to them safety-deposit vaultsand fetch them. " "Let Mawruss fetch 'em, " Abe replied wearily. "The safety deposit is hisidee, Hymie, not mine. " Hymie turned to Morris. "Go ahead, Mawruss, " he said, "you fetch 'em. " "I was only stringing you, Hymie, " Morris croaked. "We ain't got 'em inno safety-deposit vault at all. " "That settles it, " Hymie cried, jumping to his feet and jamming his hatdown with both hands. "Where you going, Hymie?" Abe called after him. "For a policeman, " Hymie said. "I want them diamonds and I'm going tohave 'em, too. " Morris ran to the store door and grabbed Hymie by the coattails. "Wait a minute, " he yelled. "Hymie, I'm surprised at you that you shouldact that way. " Hymie stopped short. "I ain't acting, Mawruss, " he said. "It's you what's acting. All I wantit is you should give me my ring and pin, and I am satisfied to pay youthe thousand dollars. " They returned to the show-room and once more sat down. "I'll tell you the truth, Hymie, " Morris said at last. "I loaned themdiamonds to somebody, and that's the way it is. " "You loaned 'em to somebody!" Hymie cried, jumping once more to hisfeet. "My diamonds you loaned it, Mawruss? Well, all I got to say iseither you get them diamonds back right away, or either I will call apoliceman and make you arrested. " "Make me arrested, then, Hymie, " Morris replied resignedly, "because thefeller what I loaned them diamonds to won't return 'em for two weeksanyhow. " Hymie sat down again. "For two weeks, hey?" he said. He passed his handkerchief over his faceand looked at Abe. "That's a fine, nervy partner what you got it, Abe, I must say, " hecommented. "Well, Hymie, " Abe replied, "so long as you can't get them diamondsback for two weeks keep the thousand dollars for two weeks and we won'tcharge you no interest nor nothing. " "No, siree, " Hymie said; "either I pay you the thousand now, Abe, or Idon't pay it you for three months, and no interest nor nothing. " Abe looked at Morris, who nodded his head slowly. "What do we care, Abe, " he said, "two weeks or three months is nodifference now, ain't it?" "I'm agreeable, then, Hymie, " Abe declared. "All right, " Hymie said eagerly; "put it down in writing and sign it, and I am satisfied you should keep the diamonds three months. " Abe sat down at his desk and scratched away for five minutes. "Here it is, Hymie, " he said at last. "Hyman Kotzen and Potash &Perlmutter agrees it that one thousand dollars what he lent it off ofthem should not be returned for three months from date, no interest nornothing. And also, that Potash & Perlmutter should not give up thediamonds, neither. POTASH & PERLMUTTER. " "That's all right, " Hymie said. He folded the paper into his pocketbookand turned to Morris. "Also it is understood, Mawruss, you shouldn't lend them diamonds tonobody else, " he concluded, and a minute later the store door closedbehind him. After he had gone there was an ominous silence which Abe was the firstto break. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "ain't that a fine mess you got us into it?Must you wore it them diamonds, Mawruss? Why couldn't you leave 'em inthe safe?" Morris made no answer. "Or if you had to lose 'em, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "why didn't you doneit the day we loaned Hymie the money? Then we could of stopped our checkby the bank. Now we can do nothing. " "I didn't lose the diamonds, Abe, " Morris protested. "I left 'em in myvest in the barber-shop and somebody took it the vest. " "Well, ain't you got no suspicions, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Think, Mawruss, who was it took the vest?" Morris raised his head and was about to reply when the store door openedand Sam Feder, vice-president of the Kosciusko Bank, entered bearing abrown paper parcel under his arm. A personal visit from so well-known a financier covered Abe withembarrassment, and he jumped to his feet and rushed out of the show-roomwith both arms outstretched. "Mr. Feder, " he exclaimed, "ain't this indeed a pleasure? Come inside, Mr. Feder. Come inside into our show-room. " He brought out a seat for the vice-president and dusted it carefully. "I ain't come to see you, Abe, " Mr. Feder said; "I come to see thatpartner of yours. " He untied the string that bound the brown paper parcel and pulled outits contents. "Why!" Morris gasped. "That's my vest. " "Sure it is, " Mr. Feder replied, "and it just fits me, Mawruss. In fact, it fits me so good that when I went to the barber-shop in a two-piecesuit this morning, Mawruss, I come away with a three-piece suit and asouvenir besides. " "A souvenir!" Abe cried. "What for a souvenir?" Mr. Feder put his hand in his trousers pocket and tumbled the missingring and pin on to a baize-covered sample table. "That was the souvenir, Abe, " he said. "In fact, two souvenirs. " Morris and Abe stared at the diamonds, too stunned for utterance. "You're a fine feller, Mawruss, " Mr. Feder continued, "to be carryingaround valuable stones like them in your vest pocket. Why, I showed themstones to a feller what was in my office an hour ago and he says theymust be worth pretty near five hundred dollars. " He paused and looked at Morris. "And he was a pretty good judge of diamonds, too, " he continued. "Who was the feller, Mr. Feder?" Abe asked. "I guess you know, Abe, " Mr. Feder replied. "His name is Hymie Kotzen. " CHAPTER VII "Max Fried, of the A La Mode Store, was in here a few minutes since, Mawruss, " said Abe Potash, to his partner, Morris Perlmutter, after thelatter had returned from lunch one busy August day, "and bought a coupleof hundred of them long Trouvilles. He also wanted something to ask itof us as a favor, Mawruss. " "Sixty days is long enough, Abe, " said Morris, on the principle of "oncebitten, twice shy. " "For a man what runs a little store like the A LaMode on Main Street, Buffalo, Abe, Max don't buy too few goods, neither. Ain't it?" "Don't jump always for conclusions, Mawruss, " Abe broke in. "This ain'tno credit matter what he asks it of us. His wife got a sister what theywanted to make from her a teacher, Mawruss, but she ain't got the head. So, Max thinks we could maybe use her for a model. Her name is MissKreitmann and she's a perfect thirty-six, Max says, only a little fat. " "And then, when she tries on a garment for a customer, " Morrisrejoined, "the customer goes around telling everybody that we cut ourstuff too skimpy. Ain't it? No, Abe, we got along so far good with themodels what we got, and I guess we can keep it up. Besides, if Max is soanxious to get her a job, why don't he take her on himself, Abe?" "Because she lives here in New York with her mother, " Abe explained;"and what chance has a girl got in Buffalo, anyway? That's what Maxsays, and he also told it me that she got a very fine personality, andif we think it over maybe he gives us an introduction to Philip Hahn, ofthe Flower City Credit Outfitting Company. That's a million-dollarconcern, Mawruss. I bet yer they're rated J to K, first credit, andPhilip Hahn's wife is Miss Kreitmann's mother's sister. Leon Sammet willgo crazy if he hears that we sell them people. " "That's all right, Abe, " said Morris. "We ain't doing business to spiteour competitors; we're doing it to please our customers so that they'llbuy goods from us and maybe they'll go crazy, too, when they see herface, Abe. " "Max Fried says she is a good-looker. Nothing extraordinary, y'understand, but good, snappy stuff and up to date. " "You talk like she was a garment, Abe, " said Morris. "Well, you wouldn't buy no garment, Mawruss, just because some one toldyou it was good. Would you? So, Max says he would bring her around thisafternoon, and if we liked her Hahn would stop in and see us later inthe day. He says Hahn picks out never less than a couple of hundred ofone style, and also Hahn is a liberal buyer, Mawruss. " "Of course, Abe, " Morris commenced, "if we're doing this to obligePhilip Hahn----" "We're doing it to oblige Philip Hahn and Max Fried both, Mawruss, " Abebroke in. "Max says he ain't got a minute's peace since Miss Kreitmannis old enough to get married. " "So!" Morris cried. "A matrimonial agency we're running, Abe. Is thatthe idea?" "The idea is that she should have the opportunity of meeting by us abusiness man, Mawruss, what can give her a good home and a good living, too. Max says he is pretty near broke, buying transportation fromBuffalo to New York, Mawruss, so as he can bust up love matches betweenMiss Kreitmann and some good-looking retail salesman, Mawruss, what candance the waltz A Number One and couldn't pay rent for lighthousekeeping on Chrystie Street. " "Well, Abe, " Morris agreed, with a sigh of resignation, "if we got tohire her as a condition that Philip Hahn gives us a couple of goodorders a season, Abe, I'm agreeable. " "Naturally, " Abe replied, and carefully selecting a slightly-damagedcigar from the M to P first and second credit customers' box, he fell toassorting the sample line against Philip Hahn's coming that afternoon. His task was hardly begun, however, when the store door opened to admitMax Fried and his sister-in-law. Abe immediately ceased hissample-assorting and walked forward to greet them. "Hello, Max, " he said. Max stopped short, and by the simple process of thrusting out hiswaist-line assumed a dignity befitting the ceremony of introduction. "Mr. Potash, " he said severely, "this is Miss Gussie Kreitmann, mywife's sister, what I talked to you about. " Abe grinned shyly. "All right, " he said, and shook hands with Miss Kreitmann, who returnedhis grin with a dazzling smile. "Mr. Fried tells me you like to come to work by us as a model. Ain'tit?" Abe continued in the accents of the sucking dove. "So, I guessyou'd better go over to Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, and she'll show youwhere to put your hat and coat. " "Oh, I ain't in no hurry, " Miss Kreitmann replied. "To-morrow morningwill do. " "Sure, sure, " Abe murmured. He was somewhat shocked by Miss Kreitmann'sappearance, for while Max Fried's reservation, "only a little fat, " hadgiven him some warning, he was hardly prepared to employ so pronouncedan Amazon as Miss Kreitmann. True, her features, though large, werequite regular, and she had fine black eyes and the luxurious hair thatgoes with them; but as Abe gazed at the convex lines of her generousfigure he could not help wondering what his partner would say when hesaw her. As a matter of fact, at that precise moment Morris was taking in theentire situation from behind a convenient rack of raincoats, and wasmentally designing a new line of samples to be called The P & P System. He figured that he would launch it with a good, live ad in the DailyCloak and Suit Record, to be headed: Let 'Em _All_ Come. We Can Fit_Everybody_. _Large_ Sizes a Specialty. "Do you think you will like it here?" Abe hazarded. "Oh, sure, " Max replied for his sister-in-law. "This ain't the firsttime she works in a cloak and suit house. She helps me out in the storewhenever she comes to Buffalo. In fact, she knows part of your linealready, Abe, and the rest she learns pretty quick. " "You won't find me slow, Mr. Potash, " Miss Kreitmann broke in. "Maybe Iain't such a good model except for large sizes, but I learned to sellcloaks by my brother-in-law and by my uncle, Philip Hahn, before I couldtalk already. What I want to do now is to meet the trade that comes intothe store. " "That's what you're going to do, " Abe said. "I will introduce you toeverybody. " The thought that this would be, perhaps, the only way to get rid of herlent fervor to his words, and Max shook him warmly by the hand. "I'm much obliged, " he said. "Me and Philip Hahn will be in sure in acouple of hours, and Gussie comes to work to-morrow morning. " Once more Abe proffered his hand to his new model, and a moment laterthe door slammed behind them. "So, that's the party, is it?" said Morris, emerging from hishiding-place. "What's she looking for a job by us for, Abe? She couldmake it twice as much by a circus sideshow or a dime museum. " "Philip Hahn will be here in a couple of hours, Mawruss, " Abe replied, avoiding the thrust. "I guess he's going to buy a big bill of goods, Mawruss. " "I hope so, Abe, because it needs quite a few big bills to offset thedamage a model like this here Miss Kreitmann can do. In fact, Abe, " heconcluded, "I'd be just as well satisfied if Miss Kreitmann could giveus the orders, and we could get Philip Hahn to come to work by us as amodel. I ain't never seen him, Abe, but I think he's got a better shapefor the line. " A singular devotion to duty marked every action of Emanuel Gubin, shipping clerk in the wholesale cloak and suit establishment of Potash &Perlmutter. That is to say, it had marked every action until thecommencement of Miss Kreitmann's incumbency. In the very hour thatEmanuel first observed the luster of her fine black eyes his heart gaveone bound and never more regained its normal gait. As for Miss Kreitmann, she saw only a shipping clerk, collarless, coatless and with all the grime of his calling upon him. Two weekselapsed, however, and one evening, on Lenox Avenue, she encounteredEmanuel, freed from the chrysalis of his employment, a natty, lavender-trousered butterfly of fashion. Thereafter she called himMannie, and during business hours she flashed upon him those same blackeyes with results disastrous to the shipping end of Potash &Perlmutter's business. Packages intended for the afternoon delivery of a local express companyarrived in Florida two weeks later, while the irate buyer of a JerseyCity store, who impatiently awaited an emergency shipment of ten heavywinter garments, received instead half a hundred gossamer wraps designedfor the sub-tropical weather of Palm Beach. "I don't know what's come over that fellow, Mawruss, " Abe said at last. "Formerly he was a crackerjack--never made no mistakes nor nothing; andnow I dassen't trust him at all, Mawruss. Everything we ship I got tolook after it myself, Mawruss. We might as well have no shipping clerkat all. " "You're right, Abe, " Morris replied. "He gets carelesser every day. Andwhy, Abe? Because of that Miss Kreitmann. She breaks us all up, Abe. Ibet yer if that feller Gubin has took her to the theayter once, Abe, hetook her fifty times already. He spends every cent he makes on her, andthe first thing you know, Abe, we'll be missing a couple of pieces ofsilk from the cutting-room. Ain't it?" "He ain't no thief, Mawruss, " said Abe, "and, besides, you can't blame ayoung feller if he gets stuck on a nice girl like Miss Kreitmann, Mawruss. She's a smart girl, Mawruss. Mendel Immerglick, of Immerglick &Frank, was in here yesterday, Mawruss, and she showed him the line, Mawruss, and believe me, Mawruss, Immerglick says to me I couldn't havedone it better myself. " "Huh!" Morris snorted. "A young feller like Immerglick, what buys it ofus a couple of hundred dollars at a time, she falls all over herself toplease him, Abe. And why? Because Immerglick's got a fine _mus_tache andis a swell dresser and he ain't married. But you take it a good customerlike Adolph Rothstein, Abe, and what does she do? At first she was allsmiles to him, because Adolph is a good-looking feller. But then shehears him telling me a hard-luck story about his wife's operation andhow his eldest boy Sammie is now seven already and ain't never been sickin his life, and last month he gets the whooping cough and all six ofAdolph's boys gets it one after the other. Then, Abe, she treats Adolphlike a dawg, Abe, and the first thing you know he looks at his watch andsays he got an appointment and he'll be back. But he don't come back atall, Abe, and this noontime I seen Leon Sammet and Adolph inWasserbauer's Restaurant. They was eating the regular dinner _withchicken_, Abe, and I seen Leon pay for it. " Abe received his partner's harangue in silence. His eyes gazed vacantlyat the store door, which had just opened to admit the letter-carrier. "Suppose we do lose a couple of hundred dollars trade, " he said atlength; "one customer like Philip Hahn will make it up ten times, Mawruss. " "Well, you'll lose him, too, Abe, if you don't look out, " said Morris, who had concluded the reading of a typewritten letter with a scrawledpostscript. "Just see what he writes us. " He handed over the missive, which read as follows: MESSRS. POTASH & PERLMUTTER. _Gents:_ We are requested by Mrs. Kreitmann of your city to ask about a young fellow what works for you by the name of Emanuel Gubin. Has he any future, and what is his prospects? By doing so you will greatly oblige Truly yours, THE FLOWER CITY CREDIT OUTFITTING CO. Dic. PH/K P. S. I don't like such monkey business. I thought you knew it. I don't want no salesman. What is the matter with you anyway? PHILIP HAHN. Abe folded up the letter, and his mouth became a straight line ofdetermination under his stubby mustache. "I guess I fix that young feller, " he cried, seizing a pen. He wrote: FLOWER CITY CREDIT OUTFITTING COMPANY. _Gents:_ Your favor of the 14th inst. Received and contents noted and in reply would say the young fellow what you inquire about ain't got no future with us and the prospects is he gets fired on Saturday. We trust this is satisfactory. Truly yours, POTASH & PERLMUTTER. On Saturday afternoon Morris Perlmutter was putting on his hat and coatpreparatory to going home. He had just fired Mannie Gubin with a relishand satisfaction second only to what would have been his sensations ifthe operation had been directed toward Miss Kreitmann. As he was aboutto leave the show-room Abe entered. "Oh, Mawruss, " Abe cried, "you ought to see Miss Kreitmann. She's allbroke up about Mannie Gubin, and she's crying something terrible. " "Is she?" Morris said, peering over his partner's shoulder at thegrief-stricken model, who was giving vent to her emotions in the farcorner of the salesroom. "Well, Abe, you tell her to come away from themlight goods and cry over the blue satinets. They don't spot so bad. " Miss Gussie Kreitmann evidently knew how to conceal a secret sorrow, for outwardly she remained unchanged. She continued to scowl at those ofher employers' customers who were men of family, and beamed upon theunmarried trade with all the partiality she had displayed during MannieGubin's tenure of employment. Indeed, her amiability toward thebachelors was if anything intensified, especially in the case of MendelImmerglick. Many times he had settled lunch checks in two figures, for MissKreitmann's appetite was in proportion to her size. Moreover, aprominent Broadway florist was threatening Mendel with suit for flowerssupplied Miss Kreitmann at his request. Nor were there lacking othersigns, such as the brilliancy of Mendel's cravats and the carefulmanicuring of his nails, to indicate that he was paying court to MissKreitmann. "I think, Abe, " Morris said finally, "we're due for an inquiry from theFlower City Company about Immerglick & Frank. " "I hope not, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I never liked them people, Mawruss. In fact, last week Mendel Immerglick struck me for new terms--ninetyinstead of sixty days--and he wanted to give me a couple of thousanddollar order. I turned him down cold, Mawruss. People what throw such abluff like Mendel Immerglick don't give me no confidence, Mawruss. I'mwilling to sell him up to five hundred at sixty days, but that's all. " "Oh, I don't know, Abe, " Morris protested. "A couple of bright boyslike Mendel Immerglick and Louis Frank can work up a nice business aftera while. " "Can they?" Abe rejoined. "Well, more likely they work up a nice line ofcredit, Mawruss, and then, little by little, they make it a big failure, Mawruss. A feller what curls his mustache like Mendel Immerglick ain'tno stranger to auction houses, Mawruss. I bet yer he's got it allfigured out right now where he can get advance checks on consignments. " "I think you do the feller an injury, Abe, " said Morris. "I think hemeans well, and besides, Abe, business people is getting so conservativethat there ain't no more money in failures. " "I guess there's enough for Mendel Immerglick, " Abe said, and dismissedthe subject. Two weeks later the anticipated letter arrived in the following form: MESSRS. POTASH & PERLMUTTER. _Gents:_ Mrs. Kreitmann of your city requests us to ask you about one of your customers by the name of Mr. Mendel Immerglick, of Immerglick & Frank. We drew a report on him by both commercial agencies and are fairly well satisfied, but would be obliged if you should make inquiries amongst the trade for us and greatly oblige Yours truly, THE FLOWER CITY CREDIT OUTFITTING CO. Dic. PH/K P. S. I hear it this fellow is a good bright young fellow. I will be in N. Y. Next month and expect to lay in my spring goods. PHILIP HAHN. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe said, as he finished reading the letter, "I'm sorryto get this letter. I don't know what I could tell it him about thisfellow Immerglick. Now, if it was a responsible concern like HenryFeigenbaum, of the H. F. Cloak Company, it would be different. " "Henry Feigenbaum!" Morris exclaimed. "Why, he's only got one eye. " "I know it, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "but he's got six stores, and they'reall making out good. But, anyhow, Mawruss, I ain't going to do nothingin a hurry. I'll make good inquiries before I answer him. " "What's the use of making inquiries?" Morris protested. "Tell him it'sall right. I got enough of this Miss Kreitmann already, Abe. She'skilled enough trade for us. " "What!" Abe cried. "Tell him it's all right, when for all I know MendelImmerglick is headed straight for the bankruptcy courts, Mawruss. Youmust be crazy, Mawruss. Ain't Hahn said he's coming down next month tobuy his spring goods? What you want to do, Mawruss? Throw three to fivethousand dollars in the street, Mawruss?" "You talk foolishness, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "Once a man gets married, his wife's family has got to stand for him. Suppose he does bust up;would that be our fault, Abe? Then Philip Hahn sets him up in businessagain, and the first thing you know, Abe, we got two customers insteadof one. And I bet yer we could get Philip Hahn to guarantee the accountyet. " "Them theories what you got, Mawruss, sounds good, but maybe he busts up_before_ they get married, and then, Mawruss, we lose Philip Hahn'sbusiness and Max Fried's business, and we are also out a sterling silverengagement present for Miss Kreitmann. Ain't it?" He put on his hat and coat and lit a cigar. "I guess, Mawruss, I'll go right now, " he concluded, "and see what I canfind out about him. " In three hours he returned and entered the show-room. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "what did you find out? Is it all right?" Abe carefully selected a fresh cigar and shook his head solemnly. "Nix, Mawruss, " he said. "Mendel Immerglick is nix for a nice girl likeMiss Kreitmann. " He took paper out of his waistcoat pocket for the purpose of refreshinghis memory. "First, I seen Moe Klein, of Klinger & Klein, " he went on. "Moe says heseen Mendel Immerglick, in the back of Wasserbauer's Café, playingauction pinochle with a couple of loafer salesmen at three o'clock inthe afternoon, and while Moe was standing there already them twolow-lives set Immerglick back three times on four hundred hands at adollar a hundred, _double double_. " "And what was Moe doing there?" Morris asked. "I wasn't making no investigation of Moe, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Believe me, I got enough to do to find out about Immerglick. Also, Moetells me that Immerglick comes into their place and wants to buy offthem three thousand dollars at ninety days. " "And did they sell him?" Morris asked. "Did they _sell_ him?" Abe cried. "If you was to meet a burglar cominginto the store at midnight with a jimmy and a dark lantern, Mawruss, Isuppose you'd volunteer to give him the combination of the safe. What?No, Mawruss, they didn't sell him. Such customers is for suckers likeSammet Brothers, Mawruss. Leon Sammet says they sold him three thousandat four months. Also, Elenbogen sold him a big bill, same terms, Mawruss. But big houses like Wechsel, Baum & Miller and FrederickStettermann won't sell him at any terms, Mawruss. " "If everybody was so conservative like Wechsel, Baum & Miller, " saidMorris, "the retailers might as well go out of business. " "Wait a bit, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "That ain't all. Louis Frank's wifeis a sister to the Traders' and Merchants' Outlet, of Louisville--youknow that thief, Marks Leshinsky; and Louis Frank's uncle, Mawruss, isElkan Frank & Company, them big swindlers, them auctioneers, out inChicago. " Abe sat down and dipped his pen in the inkwell with such force that thespotless surface of Morris' shirt, which he had donned that morning, assumed a polkadot pattern. It was, therefore, some minutes before Abecould devote himself to his task in silence. Finally, he evolved thefollowing: THE FLOWER CITY CREDIT OUTFITTING CO. _Gents_: Your favor of the 16th inst. Received and contents noted, and in reply would say our Mr. Potash seen the trade extensively and we are sorry to say it in the strictest confidence that we ain't got no confidence in the party you name. You should on no consideration do anything in the matter as all accounts are very bad. We will tell your Mr. Hahn the particulars when he is next in our city. Yours truly, POTASH & PERLMUTTER. "It ain't no more than he deserves, Mawruss, " Abe commented after Morrishad read the letter. "No, " Morris admitted, "but after the way Miss Kreitmann got that fellerGubin in the hole and the way she treated Adolph Rothstein, Abe, itain't no more than she deserves, neither. " For several days afterward Miss Kreitmann went about her work withnothing but scowls for Potash & Perlmutter's customers, married andunmarried alike. "The thing goes too far, Abe, " Morris protested. "She kills our entiretrade. Hahn or no Hahn, Abe, I say we should fire her. " Abe shook his head. "It ain't necessary, Mawruss, " he replied. "What d'ye mean?" "The girl gets desperate, Mawruss. She fires herself. She told me thismorning she don't see no future here, so she's going to leave at the endof the week. She says she will maybe take up trained nursing. She hearsit that there are lots of openings for a young woman that way. " Morris sat down and fairly beamed with satisfaction. "That's the best piece of news I hear it in a long time, Abe, " he said. "Now we can do maybe some business. " "Maybe we can, " Abe admitted. "But not with Philip Hahn. " "Why not?" Morris cried. "We done our best by him. Ain't we? Through himwe lost it a good customer, and we got to let go a good shipping clerk. " "Not a _good_ shipping clerk, Mawruss, " Abe corrected. "Well, he was a good one till Miss Kreitmann comes. " Abe made no reply. He took refuge in the columns of the Daily Cloak andSuit Record and perused the business troubles items. "Was it our fault that Immerglick is N. G. , Abe?" Morris went on. "Isit----" "Ho-ly smokes!" Abe broke in. "What d'ye think of that?" "What do I think of what?" Morris asked. "Immerglick & Frank, " Abe read aloud. "A petition in bankruptcy was thisday filed against Immerglick & Frank, doing business as the 'ViennaStore. ' This firm has been a heavy purchaser throughout the trade duringthe past two months, but when the receiver took possession thereremained only a small stock of goods. The receiver has retained counseland will examine Louis Frank under Section 21 A of the Bankruptcy Act. It is understood that Mendel Immerglick, the senior partner, sailed forHamburg last week on the Kaiserin Luisa Victoria and intends to remainin Germany for an indefinite time. " Abe laid down the paper with a sigh of relief. "If that don't make us solid with Philip Hahn, Mawruss, " he said, "nothing will. " Miss Kreitmann left at the end of the week, and Abe and Morris wasted notime in vain regrets over her departure, but proceeded at once to assortand make up a new line of samples for Philip Hahn's inspection. Forthree days they jumped every time a customer entered the store, and Abewore a genial smile of such fixity that his face fairly ached. At length, on the Thursday following Miss Kreitmann's resignation, while Abe was flicking an imaginary grain of dust from the spotlessarray of samples, the store door burst open and a short, stout personentered. Abe looked up and, emitting an exclamation, rushed forward withboth arms extended in hearty greeting. "_Mis_ter Hahn, " he cried, "how _do_ you do?" The newcomer drew himself up haughtily, and his small mustache seemed toshed sparks of indignation. Abe stopped short in hurt astonishment. "Is th-there a-anything the matter?" he faltered. "Is there anything the matter!" Mr. Hahn roared. "Is there anything thematter! That's a fine question for _you_ to ask. " "W-w-why?" Abe stuttered. "Ain't everything all right?" Mr. Hahn, with an effort that bulged every vein in his bald forehead, subsided into comparative calm. "Mr. Potash, " he said, "I bought from you six bills of goods in the lastfew months. Ain't it?" Abe nodded. "And I never claimed no shortages and never made no kicks nor nothing, but always paid up prompt on the day like a gentleman. Ain't it?" Abe nodded again. "And this is what I get for it, " Mr. Hahn went on bitterly. "My ownniece on my wife's side, I put her in your care. I ask you to take it aninterest in her. You promise me you will do your best. You tell me andMax Fried you will look after her"--he hesitated, almost overcome byemotion--"like a father. You said that when I bought the second bill. And what happens? The only chance she gets to make a decent match, youwrite me the feller ain't no good. Naturally, I think you got somesense, and so I busts the affair up. " "Well, " Abe said, "I did write you he wasn't no good, and he wasn't nogood, neither. Ain't he just made it a failure?" Mr. Hahn grew once more infuriated. "A failure!" he yelled. "I should say he did make a failure. _What_ afailure he made! Fool! Donkey! The man got away with a hundred thousanddollars and is living like a prince in the old country. And poor Gussie, she loved him, too! She cries night and day. " He stopped to wipe a sympathetic tear. "She cries pretty easy, " Abe said. "She cried when we fired MannieGubin, too. " Hahn bristled again. "You insult me. What?" he cried. "You try to get funny with me. Hey? Allright. I fix you. So far what I can help it, never no more do you sellme or Max or anybody what is friends of ours a button. Not a button!Y'understand?" He wheeled about and the next moment the store door banged withcannon-like percussion. Morris came from behind a rack of raincoats andtiptoed toward Abe. "Well, Abe, " he said, "you put your foot in it that time. " Abe mopped the perspiration from his brow and bit the end off a cigar. "We done business before we had Philip Hahn for a customer, Mawruss, "he said, "and I guess we'll do it again. Ain't it?" * * * * * Six months later Abe was scanning the columns of the Daily Cloak andSuit Record while Morris examined the morning mail. "Yes, Mawruss, " he said at length. "Some people get only what theydeserve. I always said it, some day Philip Hahn will be sorry he treatedus the way he did. I bet yer he's sorry now. " "So far what I hear, Abe, " Morris replied, "he ain't told us nor nobodyelse that he's sorry. In fact, I seen him coming out of Sammet Brothers'yesterday, and he looked at me like he would treat us worser already, ifhe could. What makes you think he's sorry, Abe?" "Well, " Abe went on, "if he _ain't_ sorry he _ought_ to be. " He handed the Daily Cloak and Suit Record to Morris and indicated theNew Business column with his thumb. "Rochester, N. Y. , " it read. "Philip Hahn, doing business here as theFlower City Credit Outfitting Company, announces that he has taken intopartnership Emanuel Gubin, who recently married Mr. Hahn's niece. Thebusiness will be conducted under the old firm style. " Morris handed back the paper with a smile. "I seen Leon Sammet on the subway this morning and he told me all aboutit, " he commented. "He says Gubin eloped with her. " Abe shook his head. "You got it wrong, Mawruss. You must be mistaken, " he concluded. "_She_eloped with Gubin. " CHAPTER VIII "You carry a fine stock, Mr. Sheitlis, " Abe Potash exclaimed as heglanced around the well-filled shelves of the Suffolk Credit OutfittingCompany. "That ain't all the stock I carry, " Mr. Sheitlis, the proprietor, exclaimed. "I got also another stock which I am anxious to dispose ofit, Mr. Potash, and you could help me out, maybe. " Abe smiled with such forced amiability that his mustache was completelyengulfed between his nose and his lower lip. "I ain't buying no cloaks, Mr. Sheitlis, " he said. "I'm selling 'em. " "Not a stock from cloaks, Mr. Potash, " Mr. Sheitlis explained; "but astock from gold and silver. " "I ain't in the jewelry business, neither, " Abe said. "That ain't the stock what I mean, " Mr. Sheitlis cried. "Wait a bit andI'll show you. " He went to the safe in his private office and returned with a crispparchment-paper certificate bearing in gilt characters the legend, Texas-Nevada Gold and Silver Mining Corporation. "This is what I mean it, " he said; "stock from stock exchanges. I paidone dollar a share for this hundred shares. " Abe took the certificate and gazed at it earnestly with unseeing eyes. Mr. Sheitlis had just purchased a liberal order of cloaks and suits fromPotash & Perlmutter, and it was, therefore, a difficult matter for Abeto turn down this stock proposition without offending a good customer. "Well, Mr. Sheitlis, " he commenced, "me and Mawruss Perlmutter we dobusiness under a copartnership agreement, and it says we ain't supposedto buy no stocks from stock exchanges, and----" "I ain't asking you to buy it, " Mr. Sheitlis broke in. "I only want youto do me something for a favor. You belong in New York where all themstock brokers is, so I want you should be so kind and take this herestock to one of them stock brokers and see what I can get for it. MaybeI could get a profit for it, and then, of course, I should pay yousomething for your trouble. " "Pay me something!" Abe exclaimed in accents of relief. "Why, Mr. Sheitlis, what an idea! Me and Mawruss would be only too glad, Mr. Sheitlis, to try and sell it for you, and the more we get it for thestock the gladder we would be for your sake. I wouldn't take a penny forselling it if you should make a million out of it. " "A million I won't make it, " Mr. Sheitlis replied, dismissing thesubject. "I'll be satisfied if I get ten dollars for it. " He walked toward the front door of his store with Abe. "What is the indications for spring business in the wholesale trade, Mr. Potash, " he asked blandly. Abe shook his head. "It should be good, maybe, " he replied; "only, you can't tell nothingabout it. Silks is the trouble. " "Silks?" Mr. Sheitlis rejoined. "Why, silks makes goods sell high, Mr. Potash. Ain't it? Certainly, I admit it you got to pay more for silkpiece goods as for cotton piece goods, but you take the same per cent. Profit on the price of the silk as on the price of the cotton, and soyou make more in the end. Ain't it?" "If silk piece goods is low or middling, Mr. Sheitlis, " Abe repliedsadly, "there is a good deal in what you say. But silk is high thisyear, Mr. Sheitlis, so high you wouldn't believe me if I tell you we gotto pay twicet as much this year as three years ago already. " Mr. Sheitlis clucked sympathetically. "And if we charge the retailer twicet as much for a garment next yearwhat he pays three years ago already, Mr. Sheitlis, " Abe went on, "wewon't do no business. Ain't it? So we got to cut our profits, and that'sthe way it goes in the cloak and suit business. You don't know where youare at no more than when you got stocks from stock exchanges. " "Well, Mr. Potash, " Sheitlis replied encouragingly, "next season is nextseason, but now is this season, and from the prices what you quoted itme, Mr. Potash, you ain't going to the poorhouse just yet a while. " "I only hope it that you make more profit on the stock than we make iton the order you just give us, " Abe rejoined as he shook his customer'shand in token of farewell. "Good-by, Mr. Sheitlis, and as soon as I getback in New York I'll let you know all about it. " Two days after Abe's return to New York he sat in Potash & Perlmutter'sshow-room, going over next year's models as published in the Daily Cloakand Suit Record. His partner, Morris Perlmutter, puffed disconsolatelyat a cigar which a competitor had given him in exchange for creditinformation. "Them cigars what Klinger & Klein hands out, " he said to his partner, "has asbestos wrappers and excelsior fillers, I bet yer. I'd as liefsmoke a kerosene lamp. " "You got your worries, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Just look at them nextyear's models, Mawruss, and a little thing like cigars wouldn't troubleyou at all. Silk, soutache and buttons they got it, Mawruss. I guesspretty soon them Paris people will be getting out garments trimmed withsolitaire diamonds. " Morris seized the paper and examined the half-tone cuts with a criticaleye. "You're right, Abe, " he said. "We'll have our troubles next season, butwe take our profit on silk goods, Abe, the same as we do on cottongoods. " Abe was about to retort when a wave of recollection came over him, andhe clutched wildly at his breast pocket. "Ho-ly smokes!" he cried. "I forgot all about it. " "Forgot all about what?" Morris asked. "B. Sheitlis, of the Suffolk Credit Outfitting Company, " Abe replied. "He give me a stock in Pittsburg last week, and I forgot all about it. " "A stock!" Morris exclaimed. "What for a stock?" "A stock from the stock exchange, " Abe replied; "a stock from gold andsilver mines. He wanted me I should do it a favor for him and see astock broker here and sell it for him. " "Well, that's pretty easy, " Morris rejoined. "There's lots of stockbrokers in New York, Abe. There's pretty near as many stock brokers asthere is suckers, Abe. " "Maybe there is, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "but I don't know any of them. " "No?" Morris said. "Well, Sol Klinger, of Klinger & Klein, could tellyou, I guess. I seen him in the subway this morning, and he was prettynear having a fit over the financial page of the Sun. I asked him if heseen a failure there, and he says no, but Steel has went up to seventy, maybe it was eighty. So I says to him he should let Andrew Carnegieworry about that, and he says if he would of bought it at forty he wouldhave been in thirty thousand dollars already. " "Who?" Abe asked. "Andrew Carnegie?" "No, " Morris said; "Sol Klinger. So I says to him I could get all theexcitement I wanted out of auction pinochle and he says----" "S'enough, Mawruss, " Abe broke in. "I heard enough already. I'll ringhim up and ask him the name of the broker what does his business. " He went to the telephone in the back of the store and returned a momentlater and put on his hat and coat. "I rung up Sol, Mawruss, " he said, "and Sol tells me that a good brokeris Gunst & Baumer. They got a branch office over Hill, Arkwright &Thompson, the auctioneers, Mawruss. He says a young feller by the nameMilton Fiedler is manager, and if he can't sell that stock, Mawruss, Solsays nobody can. So I guess I'll go right over and see him while I gotit in my mind. " Milton Fiedler had served an arduous apprenticeship before he attainedthe position of branch manager for Gunst & Baumer in the dry-goodsdistrict. During the thirty odd years of his life he had been in turnstockboy, clothing salesman, bookmaker's clerk, faro dealer, poolroomcashier and, finally, bucketshop proprietor. When the police closed himup he sought employment with Gunst & Baumer, whose exchange affiliationsprecluded any suspicion of bucketing, but who, nevertheless, did athriving business in curb securities of the cat-and-dog variety, and itwas in this particular branch of the science of investment andspeculation that Milton excelled. Despite his expert knowledge, however, he was slightly stumped, as the vernacular has it, when Abe Potashproduced B. Sheitlis' stock, for in all his bucketshop and curbexperience he had never even heard of the Texas-Nevada Gold and SilverMining Corporation. "This is one of those smaller mines, Mr. Potash, " he explained, "whichsometimes get to be phenomenal profit-makers. Of course, I can't tellyou offhand what the value of the stock is, but I'll make inquiries atonce. The inside market at present is very strong, as you know. " Abe nodded, as he thought was expected of him, although "inside" and"outside" markets were all one to him. "And curb securities naturally feel the influence of the bullishsentiment, " Fiedler continued. "It isn't the business of a broker to tryto influence a customer's choice, but I'd like you to stepoutside"--they were in the manager's private office--"and look at thequotation board for a moment. Interstate Copper is remarkably activethis morning. " He led Abe into an adjoining room where a tall youth was taking greencardboard numbers from a girdle which he wore, and sticking them on thequotation board. "Hello!" Fiedler exclaimed as the youth affixed a new number. "Interstate Copper has advanced a whole point since two days ago. It'snow two and an eighth. " Simultaneously, a young man in the back of the room exclaimed aloud inwoeful profanity. "What's the matter with him?" Abe asked. "They play 'em both ways--a-hem!" Fiedler corrected himself in time. "Occasionally we have a customer who sells short of the market, andthen, of course, if the market goes up he gets stung--er--he sustains aloss. " Here the door opened and Sol Klinger entered. His bulging eyes fell onthe quotation board, and at once his face spread into a broad smile. "Hello, Sol!" Abe cried. "You look like you sold a big bill of goods. " "I hope I look better than that, Abe, " Sol replied. "I make it more onthat Interstate Copper in two days what I could make it on ten big billsof goods. That's a great property, Abe. " "I think Mr. Klinger will have reason to congratulate himself still moreby to-morrow, Mr. Potash, " Fiedler broke in. "Interstate Copper is astock with an immediate future. " "You bet, " Sol agreed. "I'm going to hold on to mine. It'll go up tofive inside of a week. " The young man from the rear of the room took the two rows of chairs at ajump. "Fiedler, " he said, "I'm going to cover right away. Buy me a thousandInterstate at the market. " Sol nudged Abe, and after the young man and Fiedler had disappeared intothe latter's private office Sol imparted in hoarse whispers to Abe thatthe young man was reported to have information from the ground-floorcrowd about Interstate Copper. "Well, if that's so, " Abe replied, "why does he lose money on it?" "Because, " Sol explained, "he's got an idee that if you act justcontrariwise to the inside information what you get it, why then youcome out right. " Abe shook his head hopelessly. "Pinochle, I understand it, " he said, "and skat a little also. But thishere stocks from stock exchanges is worser than chest what they play itin coffee-houses. " "You don't need to understand it, Abe, " Sol replied. "All you do is tobuy a thousand Interstate Copper to-day or to-morrow at any price up totwo and a half, Abe, and I give you a guarantee that you maketwenty-five hundred dollars by next week. " When Abe returned to his place of business that day he had developed atypical case of stock-gambling fever, with which he proceeded toinoculate Morris as soon as the latter came back from lunch. Abe at oncerecounted all his experiences of the morning and dwelt particularly onthe phenomenal rise of Interstate Copper. "Sol says he guarantees that we double our money in a week, " heconcluded. "Did he say he would put it in writing?" Morris asked. Abe glared at Morris for an instant. "Do you think I am making jokes?" he rejoined. "He don't got to put itin writing, Mawruss. It's as plain as the nose on your face. We paytwenty-five hundred dollars for a thousand shares at two and a halfto-day, and next week it goes up to five and we sell it and make ittwenty-five hundred dollars. Ain't it?" "Who do we sell it to?" Morris asked. Abe pondered for a moment, then his face brightened up. "Why, to the stock exchange, certainly, " he replied. "_Must_ they buy it from us, Abe?" Morris inquired. "Sure they must, Mawruss, " Abe said. "Ain't Sol Klinger always sellinghis stocks to them people?" "Well, Sol Klinger got his customers, Abe, and we got ours, " Morrisreplied doubtfully. "Maybe them people would buy it from Sol andwouldn't buy it from us. " For the rest of the afternoon Morris plied Abe with questions about thetechnicalities of the stock market until Abe took refuge in flight andwent home at half-past five. The next morning Morris resumed his quizuntil Abe's replies grew personal in character. "What's the use of trying to explain something to nobody what don'tunderstand nothing?" he exclaimed. "Maybe I don't understand it, " Morris admitted, "but also you don'tunderstand it, too, maybe. Ain't it?" "I understand this much, Mawruss, " Abe cried--"I understand, Mawruss, that if Sol Klinger tells me he guarantees it I make twenty-five hundreddollars, and this here Milton Fiedler, too, he also says it, and a youngfeller actually with my own eyes I see it buys this stock because he'sgot information from inside people, why shouldn't _we_ buy it and makemoney on it? Ain't it?" Morris was about to reply when the letter carrier entered with themorning mail. Abe took the bundle of envelopes, and on the top of thepile was a missive from Gunst & Baumer. Abe tore open the envelope andlooked at the letter hurriedly. "You see, Mawruss, " he cried, "alreadyit goes up a sixteenth. " He handed the letter to Morris. It read asfollows: _Gentlemen:_ For your information we beg to advise you that Interstate Copper advanced a sixteenth at the close of the market yesterday. Should you desire us to execute a buying order in these securities, we urge you to let us know before ten o'clock to-morrow morning, as we believe that a sharp advance will follow the opening of the market. Truly yours, GUNST & BAUMER, Milton Fiedler, Mgr. "Well, " Abe said, "what do you think, Mawruss?" "Think!" Morris cried. "Why, I think that he ain't said nothing to usabout them gold and silver stocks of B. Sheitlis', Abe, so I guess heain't sold 'em yet. If he can't sell a stock from gold and silveralready, Abe, what show do we stand with a stock from copper?" "That Sheitlis stock is only a small item, Mawruss. " "Well, maybe it is, " Morris admitted, "but just you ring up and ask him. Then, if we find that he sold that gold and silver stock we take achance on the copper. " Abe hastened to the telephone in the rear of the store. "Listen, Abe, " Morris called after him, "tell him it should be no datingor discount, strictly net cash. " In less than a minute, Abe was conversing with Fiedler. "Mr. Fiedler!" he said. "Hello, Mr. Fiedler! Is this you? Yes. Well, meand Mawruss is about decided to buy a thousand of them stocks what youshowed me down at your store--at your office yesterday, only, Mawrusssays, why should we buy them goods--them stocks if you ain't sold thatother stocks already. First, he says, you should sell them stocks fromgold and silver, Mr. Fiedler, and then we buy them copper ones. " Mr. Fiedler, at the other end of the 'phone, hesitated before replying. The Texas-Nevada Gold and Silver Mining Corporation was a paper minethat had long since faded from the memory of every bucketshop manager heknew, and its stock was worth absolutely nothing. Yet Gunst & Baumer, asthe promoters of Interstate Copper, would clear at least two thousanddollars by the sale of the stock to Abe and Morris; hence, Fiedler tooka gambler's chance. "Why, Mr. Potash, " he said, "a boy is already on the way to your storewith a check for that very stock. I sold it for three hundred dollarsand I sent you a check for two hundred and seventy-five dollars. Twenty-five dollars is our usual charge for selling a hundred shares ofstock that ain't quoted on the curb. " "Much obliged, Mr. Fiedler, " Abe said. "I'll be down there with a checkfor twenty-five hundred. " "All right, " Mr. Fiedler replied. "I'll go ahead and buy the stock foryour account. " "Well, " Abe said, "don't do that until I come down. I got to fix it upwith my partner first, Mr. Fiedler, and just as soon as I can get thereI'll bring you the check. " Twenty minutes after Abe had rung off a messenger arrived with a checkfor two hundred and seventy-five dollars, and Morris included it in themorning deposits which he was about to send over to the Kosciusko Bank. "While you're doing that, Mawruss, " Abe said, "you might as well draw acheck for twenty-five hundred dollars for that stock. " Morris grunted. "That's going to bring down our balance a whole lot, Abe, " he said. "Only for a week, Mawruss, " Abe corrected, "and then we'll sell itagain. " "Whose order do I write it to, Abe?" Morris inquired. "I forgot to ask that, " Abe replied. "Gunst & Baumer?" Morris asked. "They ain't the owners of it, Mawruss, " said Abe. "They're only thebrokers. " "Maybe Sol Klinger is selling it to the stock-exchange people andthey're selling it to us, " Morris suggested. "Sol Klinger ain't going to sell his. He's going to hang on to it. Maybeit's this young feller what I see there, Mawruss, only I don't know hisname. " "Well, then, I'll make it out to Potash & Perlmutter, and you canindorse it when you get there, " said Morris. At this juncture a customer entered, and Abe took him into theshow-room, while Morris wrote out the check. For almost an hour and ahalf Abe displayed the firm's line, from which the customer selected agenerous order, and when at last Abe was free to go down to Gunst &Baumer's it was nearly twelve o'clock. He put on his hat and coat, andjumped on a passing car, and it was not until he had traveled two blocksthat he remembered the check. He ran all the way back to the store and, tearing the check out of the checkbook where Morris had left it, hedashed out again and once more boarded a Broadway car. In front of Gunst& Baumer's offices he leaped wildly from the car to the street, and, escaping an imminent fire engine and a hosecart, he ran into the doorwayand took the stairs three at a jump. On the second floor of the building was Hill, Arkwright & Thompson'ssalesroom, where a trade sale was in progress, and the throng of buyerscollected there overflowed onto the landing, but Abe elbowed his waythrough the crowd and made the last flight in two seconds. "Is Mr. Fiedler in?" he gasped as he burst into the manager's office ofGunst & Baumer's suite. "Mr. Fiedler went out to lunch, " the office-boy replied. "He says youshould sit down and wait, and he'll be back in ten minutes. " But Abe was too nervous for sitting down, and the thought of thecustomers' room with its quotation board only agitated him the more. "I guess I'll go downstairs to Hill, Arkwright & Thompson's, " he said, "and give a look around. I'll be back in ten minutes. " He descended the stairs leisurely and again elbowed his way through thecrowd into the salesroom of Hill, Arkwright & Thompson. Mr. Arkwrightwas on the rostrum, and as Abe entered he was announcing the next lot. "Look at them carefully, gentlemen, " he said. "An opportunity like thisseldom arises. They are all fresh goods, woven this season for nextseason's business--foulard silks of exceptionally good design andquality. " At the word silks Abe started and made at once for the tables on whichthe goods were piled. He examined them critically, and as he did so hismind reverted to the half-tone cuts in the Daily Cloak and Suit Record. Here was a rare chance to lay in a stock of piece goods that might notrecur for several years, certainly not before next season had passed. "It's to close an estate, gentlemen, " Mr. Arkwright continued. "Theproprietor of the mills died recently, and his executors have decided towind up the business. All these silk foulards will be offered as onelot. What is the bid?" Immediately competition became fast and furious, and Abe entered intoit with a zest and excitement that completely eclipsed all thought ofstock exchanges or copper shares. The bids rose by leaps and bounds, andwhen, half an hour later, Abe emerged from the fray his collar wasmelted to the consistency of a pocket handkerchief, but the light ofvictory shone through his perspiration. He was the purchaser of theentire lot, and by token of his ownership he indorsed thetwenty-five-hundred-dollar check to the order of Hill, Arkwright &Thompson. The glow of battle continued with Abe until he reached the show-room ofhis own place of business at two o'clock. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "did you buy the stock?" "Huh?" Abe exclaimed, and then, for the first time since he saw the silkfoulards, he remembered Interstate Copper. "I was to Wasserbauer's Restaurant for lunch, " Morris continued, "and inthe café I seen that thing what the baseball comes out of it, Abe. " "The tickler, " Abe croaked. "That's it, " Morris went on. "Also, Sol Klinger was looking at it, andhe told me Interstate Copper was up to three already. " Abe sat down in a chair and passed his hand over his forehead. "That's the one time when you give it us good advice, Abe, " said Morris. "Sol says we may make it three thousand dollars yet. " Abe nodded. He licked his dry lips and essayed to speak, but the wordsof confession would not come. "It was a lucky day for us, Abe, when you seen B. Sheitlis, " Morriscontinued. "Of course, I ain't saying it was all luck, Abe, because itwasn't. If you hadn't seen the opportunity, Abe, and practically made mego into it, I wouldn't of done nothing, Abe. " Abe nodded again. If the guilt he felt inwardly had expressed itself inhis face there would have been no need of confession. At length hebraced himself to tell it all; but just as he cleared his throat by wayof prelude Morris was summoned to the cutting-room and remained thereuntil closing-time. Thus, when Abe went home his secret remained lockedup within his breast, nor did he find it a comfortable burden, for whenhe looked at the quotations of curb securities in the evening paper hefound that Interstate Copper had closed at four and a half, after atotal day's business of sixty thousand shares. The next morning Abe reached his store more than two hours after hisusual hour. He had rolled on his pillow all night, and it was almost daybefore he could sleep. "Why, Abe, " Morris cried when he saw him, "you look sick. What's thematter?" "I feel mean, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I guess I eat something whatdisagrees with me. " Ordinarily, Morris would have made rejoinder to the effect that when aman reached Abe's age he ought to know enough to take care of hisstomach; but Morris had devoted himself to the financial column of amorning newspaper on his way downtown, and his feelings toward hispartner were mollified in proportion. "That's too bad, Abe, " he said. "Why don't you see a doctor?" Abe shook his head and was about to reply when the telephone bell rang. "That's Sol Klinger, " Morris exclaimed. "He said he would let me know atten o'clock what this Interstate Copper opened at. " He darted for the telephone in the rear of the store, and when hereturned his face was wreathed in smiles. "It has come up to five already, " he cried. "We make it twenty-fivehundred dollars. " While Morris was talking over the 'phone Abe had been trying to bringhis courage to the sticking point, and the confession was on the verytip of his tongue when the news which Morris brought forced it backagain. He rose wearily to his feet. "I guess you think we're getting rich quick, Mawruss, " he said, andrepaired to the bookkeeper's desk in the firm's private office. For thenext two hours and a half he dodged about, with one eye on Morris andthe other on the rear entrance to the store. He expected the silk toarrive at any moment, and he knew that when it did the jig would be up. It was with a sigh of relief that he saw Morris go out to lunch athalf-past twelve, and almost immediately afterward Hill, Arkwright &Thompson's truckman arrived with the goods. Abe superintended thedisposal of the packing cases in the cutting-room, and he was engaged inopening them when Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, entered. "Mr. Potash, " she said, "Mr. Perlmutter wants to see you in theshow-room. " "Did he come back from lunch so soon?" Abe asked. "He came in right after he went out, " she replied. "I guess he must besick. He looks sick. " Abe turned pale. "I guess he found it out, " he said to himself as he descended the stairsand made for the show-room. When he entered he found Morris seated in achair with the first edition of an evening paper clutched in his hand. "What's the matter, Mawruss?" Abe said. Morris gulped once or twice and made a feeble attempt to brandish thepaper. "Matter?" he croaked. "Nothing's the matter. Only, we are outtwenty-five hundred dollars. That's all. " "No, we ain't, Mawruss, " Abe protested. "What we are out in one way wemake in another. " Morris sought to control himself, but his pent-up emotions gavethemselves vent. "We do, hey?" he roared. "Well, maybe you think because I took your fooladvice this oncet that I'll do it again?" He grew red in the face. "Gambler!" he yelled. "Fool! You shed my blood! What? You want to ruinme! Hey?" Abe had expected a tirade, but nothing half as violent as this. "Mawruss, " he said soothingly, "don't take it so particular. " He might as well have tried to stem Niagara with a shovel. "Ain't the cloak and suit business good enough for you?" Morris went on. "Must you go throwing away money on stocks from stock exchanges?" Abe scratched his head. These rhetorical questions hardly fitted thesituation, especially the one about throwing away money. "Look-y here, Mawruss, " he said, "if you think you scare me by thistheayter acting you're mistaken. Just calm yourself, Mawruss, and tellme what you heard it. I ain't heard nothing. " For answer Morris handed him the evening paper. "Sensational Failure in Wall Street, " was the red-letter legend on thefront page. With bulging eyes Abe took in the import of the leaded typewhich disclosed the news that Gunst & Baumer, promoters of InterstateCopper, having boosted its price to five, were overwhelmed by a flood ofprofit-taking. To support their stock Gunst & Baumer were obliged to buyin all the Interstate offered at five, and when at length theirresources gave out they announced their suspension. Interstateimmediately collapsed and sold down in less than a quarter of an hourfrom five bid, five and a thirty-second asked, to a quarter bid, three-eighths asked. Abe handed back the paper to Morris and lit a cigar. "For a man what has just played his partner for a sucker, Abe, " Morrissaid, "you take it nice and quiet. " Abe puffed slowly before replying. "After all, Mawruss, " he said, "I was right. " "You was right?" Morris exclaimed. "What d'ye mean?" "I mean, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "I figured it out right. I says tomyself when I got that check for twenty-five hundred dollars: If I buythis here stock from stock exchanges and we make money Mawruss will gopretty near crazy. He'll want to buy it the whole stock exchange fullfrom stocks, and in the end it will bust us. On the other hand, Mawruss, I figured it out that if we bought this here stock and lose money on it, then Mawruss'll go crazy also, and want to murder me or something. " He paused and puffed again at his cigar. "So, Mawruss, " he concluded, "I went down to Gunst & Baumer's building, Mawruss; but instead of going to Gunst & Baumer, Mawruss, I went oneflight lower down to Hill, Arkwright & Thompson's, Mawruss, and I didn'tbuy it Interstate Copper, Mawruss, but I bought it instead silkfoulards, Mawruss--seventy-five hundred dollars' worth for twenty-fivehundred dollars, and it's laying right now up in the cutting-room. " He leaned back in his chair and triumphantly surveyed his partner, whohad collapsed into a crushed and perspiring heap. "So, Mawruss, " he said, "I am a gambler. Hey? I shed your blood? What? Iruin you with my fool advice? Ain't it?" Morris raised a protesting hand. "Abe, " he murmured huskily, "I done you an injury. It's me what's thefool. I was carried away by B. Sheitlis' making his money so easy. " Abe jumped to his feet. "Ho-ly smokes!" he cried and dashed out of the show-room to thetelephone in the rear of the store. He returned a moment later with hiscigar at a rakish angle to his jutting lower lip. "It's all right, Mawruss, " he said. "I rung up the Kosciusko Bank andthe two-hundred-and-seventy-five-dollar check went through all right. " "Sure it did, " Morris replied, his drooping spirits once more revived. "I deposited it at eleven o'clock yesterday morning. I don't take nochances on getting stuck, Abe, and I only hope you didn't get stuck onthem foulards, neither. " Abe grinned broadly. "You needn't worry about that, Mawruss, " he replied. "Stocks from stockexchanges maybe I don't know it, Mawruss; but stocks from silk foulardsI do know it, Mawruss, and don't you forget it. " CHAPTER IX "Sol Klinger must think he ain't taking chances enough in these herestocks, Mawruss, " Abe Potash remarked a week after the slump inInterstate Copper. "He got to hire a drummer by the name Walsh yet. Thatfeller's idee of entertaining a customer is to go into Wasserbauer's andto drink all the schnapps in stock. I bet yer when Walsh gets through, he don't know which is the customer and which is the bartender already. " "You got to treat a customer right, Abe, " Morris commented, "becausenowadays we are up against some stiff competition. You take this herenew concern, Abe, the Small Drygoods Company of Walla Walla, Washington, Abe, and Klinger & Klein ain't lost no time. Sol tells me this morningthat them Small people start in with a hundred thousand capital all paidin. Sol says also their buyer James Burke which they send it East comesfrom the same place in the old country as this here Frank Walsh, and Iguess we got to hustle if we want to get his trade, ain't it?" "Because a customer is a _Landsmann_ of _mine_, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "ain't no reason why I shall sell him goods, Mawruss. If I could sellall my _Landsleute_ what is in the cloak and suit business, Mawruss, wewould be doing a million-dollar business a month, ain't it?" At this juncture Morris drew on his imagination. "I hear it also, Abe, "he hinted darkly, "that this here James Bourke, what the Small DrygoodsCompany sends East, is related by marriage to this here Walsh's wife. " "Wives' relations is nix, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I got enough withwives' relations. When me and my Rosie gets married her mother was oldman Smolinski's a widow. He made an honest failure of it in the customerpeddler business in eighteen eighty-five, and the lodge money was prettynear gone when I got into the family. Then my wife's mother gives mywife's brother, Scheuer Smolinski, ten dollars to go out and buy someschnapps for the wedding, and that's the last we see of _him_, Mawruss. But Rosie and me gets married, anyhow, and takes the old lady to livewith us, and the first thing you know, Mawruss, she gets sick on us anddies, with a professor and two trained nurses at my expense, and that'sthe way it goes, Mawruss. " He rose to his feet and helped himself to a cigar from the L to N firstand second credit customers' box. "No, Mawruss, " he concluded, "if you can't sell a man goods on theirmerits, Mawruss, you'll never get him to take them because your wife isrelated by marriage to his wife. Ain't it? We got a good line, Mawruss, and we stand a show to sell our goods without no theayters nor dinnersnor nothing. " Morris shrugged his shoulders. "All right, Abe, " he said, "you can dowhat you like about it, but I already bought it two tickets for Saturdaynight. " "Of course, if you _like_ to go to shows, Mawruss, " Abe declared as herose to his feet, "I can't stop you. Only one thing I got to say it, Mawruss--if you think you should charge that up to the firm's expenseaccount, all I got to say is you're mistaken, that's all. " Abe strode out of the show-room before a retort could formulate itself, so Morris struggled into his overcoat instead and made for the storedoor. As he reached it his eye fell on the clock over Wasserbauer's Caféon the other side of the street. The hands pointed to two o'clock, andhe broke into a run, for the Southwestern Flyer which bore the person ofJames Burke was due at the Grand Central Station at two-ten. Fifteenminutes later Morris darted out of the subway exit at Forty-secondStreet and imminently avoided being run down by a hansom. Indeed, thevehicle came to a halt so suddenly that the horse reared on itshaunches, while a flood of profanity from the driver testified to thenearness of Morris' escape. Far from being grateful, however, Morrispaused on the curb and was about to retaliate in kind when one of thetwo male occupants of the hansom leaned forward and poked a derisivefinger at him. "What's the hurry, Morris?" said the passenger. Morris looked up and gasped, for in that fleeting moment he recognizedhis tormentor. It was Frank Walsh, and although Morris saw only thefeatures of his competitor it needed no Sherlock Holmes to deduce thatFrank's fellow-passenger was none other than James Burke, buyer for theSmall Drygoods Company. Two hours later he returned to the store, for he had seized theopportunity of visiting some of the firm's retail trade while uptown, and when he came in he found Abe sorting a pile of misses' reefers. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe cried, "you look worried. " "I bet you I'm worried, Abe, " he said. "You and your wife's relationsdone it. Two thousand dollars thrown away in the street. I got to theGrand Central Station just in time to get there too late, Abe. This hereWalsh was ahead of me already, and he took Burke away in a hansom. WhenI come out of the subway they pretty near run over me, Abe. " "A competitor will do anything, Mawruss, " Abe said sympathetically. "Butdon't you worry. There's just as big fish swimming in the sea as whatthey sell by fish markets, Mawruss. Bigger even. We ain't going to failyet a while just because we lose the Small Drygoods Company for acustomer. " "We ain't lost 'em yet, Abe, " Morris rejoined, and without taking offhis coat he repaired to Wasserbauer's Restaurant and Café for a belatedlunch. As he entered he encountered Frank Walsh, who had beencongratulating himself at the bar. "Hello, Morris, " he cried. "I cut you out, didn't I?" "You cut me out?" Morris replied stiffly. "I don't know what you mean. " "Of course you don't, " Walsh broke in heartily. "I suppose you washustling to the Grand Central Station just because you wanted to watchthe engines. Well, I won't crow over you, Morris. Better luck nexttime!" His words fell on unheeding ears, for Morris was busily engaged inlooking around him. He sought features that might possibly belong toJames Burke, but Frank seemed to be the only representative of theEmerald Isle present, and Morris proceeded to the restaurant in therear. "I suppose he turned him over to Klinger, " he said to himself, whilefrom the vantage of his table he saw Frank Walsh buy cigars and pass outinto the street in company with another drummer _not_ of Irishextraction. He finished his lunch without appetite, and when he reëntered the storeAbe walked forward to greet him. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "I seen Sol Klinger coming down the street afew minutes ago, so I kinder naturally just stood out on the sidewalktill he comes past, Mawruss. I saw he ain't looking any too pleased, soI asked him what's the trouble; and he says, nothing, only that FrankWalsh, what they got it for a drummer, eats 'em up with expenses. So Isays, How so? And he says, this here Walsh has a customer by the name ofBurke come to town, and the first thing you know, he spends it threedollars for a cab for Burke, and five dollars for lunch for Burke, andalso ten dollars for two tickets for a show for Burke, before this hereBurke is in town two hours already. Klinger looked pretty sore about it, Mawruss. " "What show is he taking Burke to?" Morris asked. "It ain't a show exactly, " Abe replied hastily; "it's a prize-fight. " "A fight!" Morris cried. "That's an idea, ain't it?--to take a customerto a fight. " "I know it, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined, "but you got to remember that thecustomer's name is also Burke. What for a show did you buy it ticketsfor?" Morris blushed. "Travvy-ayter, " he murmured. "Travvy-ayter!" Abe replied. "Why, that's an opera, ain't it?" Morris nodded. He had intended to combine business with pleasure bytaking Burke to hear Tetrazzini. "Well, you got your idees, too, Mawruss, " Abe continued; "and I don'tknow that they're much better as this here Walsh's idees. " "Ain't they, Abe?" Morris replied. "Well, maybe they ain't, Abe. Butjust because I got a loafer for a customer ain't no reason why I shouldbe a loafer myself, Abe. " "Must you take a customer to a show, Mawruss?" Abe rejoined. "Is there alaw compelling it, Mawruss?" Morris shrugged his shoulders. "Anyhow, Abe, " he said, "I don't see that _you_ got any kick coming, because I'm going to give them tickets to you and Rosie, Abe, and yousetwo can take in the show. " "And where are you going, Mawruss?" "Me?" Morris replied. "I'm going to a prize-fighting, Abe. I don't giveup so easy as all that. " On his way home that night Morris consulted an evening paper, and whenhe turned to the sporting page he found the upper halves of sevencolumns effaced by a huge illustration executed in the best style ofJig, the Sporting Cartoonist. In the left-hand corner crouched SloggerAtkins, the English lightweight, while opposite to him in the right-handcorner stood Young Kilrain, poised in an attitude of defense. Underneathwas the legend, "The Contestants in Tomorrow Night's Battle. " Byreference to Jig's column Morris ascertained that the scene of the fightwould be at the Polygon Club's new arena in the vicinity of HarlemBridge, and at half past eight Saturday night he alighted from a ThirdAvenue L train at One Hundred and Twenty-ninth Street and followed thecrowd that poured over the bridge. It was nine o'clock before Morris gained admission to the huge framestructure that housed the arena of the Polygon Club. Having just paidfive dollars as a condition precedent to membership in good standing, hetook his seat amid a dense fog of tobacco smoke and peered around himfor Frank Walsh and his customer. At length he discerned Walsh'sstalwart figure at the right hand of a veritable giant, whose square jawand tip-tilted nose would have proclaimed the customer, even thoughWalsh had not assiduously plied him with cigars and engaged himcontinually in animated conversation. They were seated well down towardthe ring, while Morris found a place directly opposite them and watchedtheir every movement. When they laughed Morris scowled, and once whenthe big man slapped his thigh in uproarious appreciation of one ofWalsh's stories Morris fairly turned green with envy. Morris watched with a jaundiced eye the manner in which Frank Walshradiated good humor. Not only did Walsh hand out cigars to the big man, but also he proffered them to the person who sat next to him on theother side. This man Morris recognized as the drummer who had been inWasserbauer's with Frank on the previous day. "Letting him in on it, too, " Morris said to himself. "What show do Istand?" The first of the preliminary bouts began. The combatants were announcedas Pig Flanagan and Tom Evans, the Welsh coal-miner. It seemed to Morristhat he had seen Evans somewhere before, but as this was his initiationinto the realms of pugilism he concluded that it was merely a chanceresemblance and dismissed the matter from his mind. The opening bout more than realized Morris' conception of the sport'sbrutality, for Pig Flanagan was what the _cognoscenti_ call a goodbleeder, and during the first second of the fight he fulfilled hisreputation at the instance of a light tap from his opponent's left. There are some people who cannot stand the sight of blood; Morris wasone of them, and the drummer on Frank Walsh's right was another. Both heand Morris turned pale, but the big man on Walsh's left roared hisapprobation. "Eat him up!" he bellowed, and at every fresh hemorrhage from Mr. Flanagan he rocked and swayed in an ecstasy of enjoyment. For threecrimson rounds Pig Flanagan and Tom Evans continued their contest, buteven a good bleeder must run dry eventually, and in the first half ofthe fourth round Pig took the count. By this time the arena was swimming in Morris' nauseated vision, while, as for the drummer on Frank's right, he closed his eyes and wiped aclammy perspiration from his forehead. The club meeting proceeded, however, despite the stomachs of its weaker members, and the next boutcommenced with a rush. It was advertised in advance by Morris'neighboring seatholders as a scientific contest, but in pugilism, as insurgery, science is often gory. In this instance a scientific white manhit a colored savant squarely on the nose, with the inevitablesanguinary result, and as though by a prearranged signal Morris and thedrummer on Walsh's right started for the door. In vain did Walsh seizehis neighbor by the coat-tail. The latter shook himself loose, and heand Morris reached the sidewalk together. "T'phooie!" said the drummer. "That's an amusement for five dollars. " Morris wiped his face and gasped like a landed fish. At length herecovered his composure. "I seen you sitting next to Walsh, " he said. The drummer nodded. "He didn't want me to go, " he replied. "He said wecome together and we should go together, but I told him I would wait forhim till it was over. Him and that other fellow seem to enjoy it. " "Some people has got funny idees of a good time, " Morris commented. "_That's_ an idee for a loafer, " said the drummer. "For my part I likeit more refined. " "I believe you, " Morris replied. "Might you would come and take a cup ofcoffee with me, maybe?" He indicated a bathbrick dairy restaurant on the opposite side of thestreet. "Much obliged, " the drummer replied, "but I got to go out of townto-morrow, and coffee keeps me awake. I think I'll wait here for abouthalf an hour, and if Walsh and his friends don't come out by then Iguess I'll go home. " Morris hesitated. A sense of duty demanded that he stay and see thematter through, since his newly-made acquaintance with the _tertiumquid_ of Walsh's little party might lead to an introduction to the bigman, and for the rest Morris trusted to his own salesmanship. But thedrummer settled the matter for him. "On second thought, " he said, "I guess I won't wait. Why should I botherwith a couple like them? If you're going downtown on the L I'll go withyou. " Together they walked to the Manhattan terminal of the Third Avenue roadand discussed the features of the disgusting spectacle they had justwitnessed. In going over its details they found sufficient conversationto cover the journey to One Hundred and Sixteenth Street, where Morrisalighted. When he descended to the street it occurred to him for thefirst time that he had omitted to learn both the name and line ofbusiness of his new-found friend. In the meantime Frank Walsh and his companion watched the whitescientist and the colored savant conclude their exhibition and cheeredthemselves hoarse over the _pièce de résistance_ which followedimmediately. At length Slogger Atkins disposed of Young Kilrain with awell-directed punch in the solar plexus, and Walsh and his companionrose to go. "What become of yer friend?" the big man asked. "He had to go out, Jim, " Frank replied. "He couldn't stand the sight ofthe blood. " "Is that so?" the big man commented. "It beats all, the queer ideas somepeople has. " "Well, Mawruss, " Abe cried as he greeted his partner on Monday morning, "how did it went?" "How did what went?" Morris asked. "The prize-fighting. " Morris shook his head. "Not for all the cloak and suit trade on thePacific slope, " he said finally, "would I go to one of them thingsagain. First, a fat Eyetalian by the name Flanagan fights with a youngfeller, Tom Evans, the Welsh coal-miner, and you never seen nothing likeit, Abe, outside a slaughter-house. " "Flanagan don't seem much like an Eyetalian, Mawruss, " Abe commented. "I know it, " Morris replied; "but that wouldn't surprise you much if youcould seen the one what they call Tom Evans, the Welsh coal-miner. " "Why not?" Abe asked. "Well, you remember Hyman Feinsilver, what worked by us as a shippingclerk while Jake was sick?" "Sure I do, " Abe replied. "Comes from very decent, respectable people inthe old country. His father was a rabbi. " "Don't make no difference about his father, Abe, " Morris went on. "ThatTom Evans, the Welsh coal-miner, is Hyman Feinsilver what worked by us, and the way he treated that poor Eyetalian young feller was a shame forthe people. It makes me sick to think of it. " "Don't think of it, then, " Abe replied, "because it won't do you nogood, Mawruss. I seen Sol Klinger in the subway this morning, and hesays that last Saturday morning already James Burke was in their placeand picked out enough goods to stock the biggest suit department in thecountry. Sol says Burke went to Philadelphia yesterday to meet SidneySmall, the president of the concern, and they're coming over to Klinger& Klein's this morning and close the deal. " Morris sat down and lit a cigar. "Yes, Abe, that's the way it goes, " hesaid bitterly. "You sit here and tell me a long story about your wife'srelations, and the first thing you know, Abe, I miss the train and FrankWalsh takes away my trade. What do I care about your wife's relations, Abe?" "That's what I told you, Mawruss. Wife's relations don't do nobody nogood, " Abe replied. "Jokes!" Morris exclaimed as he moved off to the rear of the store. "Jokes he is making it, and two thousand dollars thrown into thestreet. " For the rest of the morning Morris sulked in the cutting-room upstairs, while Abe busied himself in assorting his samples for a forthcoming NewEngland trip. At twelve o'clock a customer came in, and when he left athalf-past twelve Abe escorted him to the store door and lingered there afew minutes to get a breath of fresh air. As he was about to reënter thestore he discerned the corpulent figure of Frank Walsh making his waydown the opposite sidewalk toward Wasserbauer's Café. With him were twoother men, one of them about as big as Frank himself, the other aslight, dark person. Abe darted to the rear of the store. "Mawruss, " he called, "come quick!Here is this Walsh feller with Small and Burke. " Morris took the first few stairs at a leap, and had his partner notcaught him he would have landed in a heap at the bottom of the flight. They covered the distance from the stairway to the store door so rapidlythat when they reached the sidewalk Frank and his customers had not yetarrived in front of Wasserbauer's. "The little feller, " Morris hissed, "is the same one what was up to thefighting. I guess he's a drummer. " "Him?" Abe replied. "He ain't no drummer, Mawruss. He's Jacob Berkowitz, what used to run the Up-to-Date Store in Seattle. I sold him goods whenme and Pincus Vesell was partners together, way before the Spanish Waralready. Who's the other feller?" At that moment the subject of Abe's inquiry looked across the streetand for the first time noticed Abe and Morris standing on the sidewalk. He stopped short and stared at Abe until his bulging eyes caught thesign above the store. For one brief moment he hesitated and then heleaped from the curb to the gutter and plunged across the roadway, withJacob Berkowitz and Frank Walsh in close pursuit. He seized Abe by bothhands and shook them up and down. "Abe Potash!" he cried. "So sure as you live. " "That's right, " Abe admitted; "that's my name. " "You don't remember me, Abe?" he went on. "I remember Mr. Berkowitz here, " Abe said, smiling at the smaller man. "I used to sell him goods oncet when he ran the Up-to-Date Store inSeattle. Ain't that so, Mr. Berkowitz?" The smaller man nodded in an embarrassed fashion, while Frank Walsh grewred and white by turns and looked first at Abe and then at the others inblank amazement. "But, " Abe went on, "you got to excuse me, Mister--Mister----" "Small, " said the larger man, whereat Morris fairly staggered. "Mister Small, " Abe continued. "You got to excuse me. I don't rememberyour name. Won't you come inside?" "Hold on!" Frank Walsh cried. "These gentlemen are going to lunch with_me_. " Small turned and fixed Walsh with a glare. "I am going to do what Iplease, Mr. Walsh, " he said coldly. "If I want to go to lunch I go tolunch; if I don't that's something else again. " "Oh, I've got lots of time, " Walsh explained. "I was just remindingyou, that's all. Wasserbauer's got a few good specialties on hisbill-of-fare that don't improve with waiting. " "All right, " Mr. Small said. "If that's the case go ahead and have yourlunch. I won't detain you none. " He put his hand on Abe's shoulder, and the little procession passed intothe store with Abe and Mr. Small in the van, while Frank Walshconstituted a solitary rear-guard. He sat disconsolately on a pile ofpiece goods as the four others went into the show-room. "Sit down, Mr. Small, " Abe said genially. "Mr. Berkowitz, take that easychair. " Then Morris produced the "gilt-edged" cigars from the safe, and they alllit up. "First thing, Mr. Small, " Abe went on, "I should like to know where Iseen you before. Of course, I know you're running a big business inWalla Walla, Washington, and certainly, too, I know your _face_. " "Sure you know my face, Abe, " Mr. Small replied. "But my _name_ ain'tfamiliar. The last time you seen my face, Abe, was some twenty yearssince. " "Twenty years is a long time, " Abe commented. "I seen lots of trade intwenty years. " "Trade you seen it, yes, " Mr. Small said, "but I wasn't trade. " He paused and looked straight at Abe. "Think, Abe, " he said. "When didyou seen me last?" Abe gazed at him earnestly and then shook his head. "I give it up, " hesaid. "Well, Abe, " Mr. Small murmured, "the last time you seen me I went outto buy ten dollars' worth of schnapps. " "What!" Abe cried. "But that afternoon there was a sure-thing mare going to start over toGuttenberg just as I happened to be passing Butch Thompson's old place, and I no more than got the ten dollars down than she blew up in thestretch. So I boarded a freight over to West Thirtieth Street andfetched up in Walla Walla, Washington. " "Look a-here!" Abe gasped. "You ain't Scheuer Smolinski, are you?" Mr. Small nodded. "That's me, " he said. "I'm Scheuer Smolinski or Sidney Small, whicheveryou like. When me and Jake Berkowitz started this here Small DrygoodsCompany we decided that Smolinski and Berkowitz was too big a mouthfulfor the Pacific Slope, so we slipped the 'inski' and the 'owitz. 'Scheuer Small and Jacob Burke didn't sound so well, neither. Ain't it?So, since there ain't no harm in it, we just changed our front names, too, and me and him is Sidney Small and James Burke. " Abe sat back in his chair too stunned for words, while Morris ponderedbitterly on the events of Saturday night. Then the prize was well withinhis grasp, for even at that late hour he could have persuaded Mr. Burketo reconsider his decision and to bring Mr. Small over to see Potash &Perlmutter's line first. But now it was too late, Morris reflected, forMr. Small had visited Klinger & Klein's establishment and had no doubtgiven the order. "Say, my friends, " Frank Walsh cried, poking his head in the door, "farfrom me to be buttin' in, but whenever you're ready for lunch just letme know. " Mr. Small jumped to his feet. "I'll let you know, " he said--"I'll letyou know right now. Half an hour since already I told Mr. Klinger Iwould make up my mind this afternoon about giving him the order for themgoods what Mr. Burke picked out. Well, you go back and tell him I madeup my mind already, sooner than I expected. I ain't going to give himthe order at all. " Walsh's red face grew purple. At first he gurgled incoherently, butfinally recovered sufficiently to enunciate; and for ten minutes hedenounced Mr. Small and Mr. Burke, their conduct and antecedents. It wasa splendid exhibition of profane invective, and when he concluded he wasalmost breathless. "Yah!" he jeered, "five-dollar tickets for a prize-fight for the likesof youse!" He fixed Morris and Mr. Burke with a final glare. "Pearls before swine!" he bellowed, and banged the show-room door behindhim. Mr. Burke looked at Morris. "That's a lowlife for you, " he said. "Arespectable concern should have a salesman like him! Ain't it a shameand a disgrace?" Morris nodded. "He takes me to a place where nothing but loafers is, " Mr. Burkecontinued, "and for two hours I got to sit and hear him and his friendthere, that big feller--I guess you seen him, Mr. Perlmutter--he told mehe keeps a beer saloon--another lowlife--for two hours I got to listento them loafers cussing together, and then he gets mad that I don'tenjoy myself yet. " Mr. Small shrugged his shoulders. "Let's forget all about it, " he said. "Come, Abe, I want to look overyour line, and you and me will do business right away. " Abe and Morris spent the next two hours displaying their line, while Mr. Small and Mr. Burke selected hundred lots of every style. Finally, Abeand Mr. Small retired to the office to fill out the order, leavingMorris to replace the samples. He worked with a will and whistled acheerful melody by way of accompaniment. "Mister Perlmutter, " James Burke interrupted, "that tune what you arewhistling it, ain't that the drinking song from Travvy-ater already?" Morris ceased his whistling. "That's right, " he replied. "I thought it was, " Mr. Burke said. "I was going to see that opera lastSaturday night if that lowlife Walsh wouldn't have took me to theprize-fight. " He paused and helped himself to a fresh cigar from the "gilt-edged" box. "For anybody else but a loafer, " he concluded, "prize-fighting is nix. Opera, Mr. Perlmutter, that's an amusement for a gentleman. " Morris nodded a vigorous acquiescence. He had nearly concluded his taskwhen Abe and his new-found brother-in-law returned. "Well, gentlemen, " Mr. Small announced, "we figured it up and it comesto twenty-five hundred dollars. That ain't bad for a starter. " "You bet, " Abe agreed fervently. Mr. Burke smiled. "You got a good line, Mr. Potash, " he said. "Ever somuch better than Klinger & Klein's. " "That's what they have, " Mr. Small agreed. "But it don't make nodifference, anyhow. I'd give them the order if the line wasn't _near_ sogood. " He put his arm around Abe's shoulder. "It stands in the Talmud, an oldsaying, but a true one, " he said--"'Blood is redder than water. '" CHAPTER X The Small Drygoods Company's order was the forerunner of a busy seasonthat taxed the energies of not only Abe and Morris but of their entirebusiness staff as well, and when the hot weather set in, Morris couldnot help noticing the fagged-out appearance of Miss Cohen thebookkeeper. "We should give that girl a vacation, Abe, " he said. "She worked hardand we ought to show her a little consideration. " "I know, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "but she ain't the only person whatworks hard around here, Mawruss. I work hard, too, Mawruss, but I ain'tgetting no vacation. That's a new _idee_ what you got, Mawruss. " "Everybody gives it their bookkeeper a vacation, Abe, " Morris protested. "Do they?" Abe rejoined. "Well, if bookkeepers gets vacations, Mawruss, where are we going to stop? First thing you know, Mawruss, we'll begiving cutters vacations, and operators vacations, and before we getthrough we got our workroom half empty yet and paying for full timealready. If she wants a vacation for two weeks I ain't got noobjections, Mawruss, only we don't pay her no wages while she's gone. " "You can't do that, Abe, " Morris said. "That would be laying her off, Abe; that wouldn't be no vacation. " "But we got to have somebody here to keep our books while she's away, Mawruss, " Abe cried. "We got to make it a living, Mawruss. We can't shutdown just because Miss Cohen gets a vacation. And so it stands, Mawruss, we got to pay Miss Cohen wages for doing _nothing_, Mawruss, and also wegot to pay it wages to somebody else for doing something what Miss Cohenshould be doing when she ain't, ain't it?" "Sure, we got to get a substitute for her while she's away, " Morrisagreed; "but I guess it won't break us. " "All right, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "if I got to hear it all summer aboutthis here vacation business I'm satisfied. I got enough to do in thestore without worrying about that, Mawruss. Only one thing I got to sayit, Mawruss: we got to have a bookkeeper to take her place while she'saway, and you got to attend to _that_, Mawruss. That's all I got tosay. " Morris nodded and hastened to break the good news to Miss Cohen, who forthe remainder of the week divided her time between Potash & Perlmutter'saccounts and a dozen multicolored railroad folders. "Look at that, Mawruss, " Abe said as he gazed through the glass panelingof the show-room toward the bookkeeper's desk. "That girl ain't done ita stroke of work since we told her she could go already. What are werunning here, anyway: a cloak and suit business or a cut-rate ticketoffice?" "Don't you worry about _her_, Abe, " Morris replied. "She's got hercashbook and daybook posted and she also got it a substitute. He'scoming this afternoon. " "_He's_ coming?" Abe said. "So she got it a young _feller_, Mawruss?" "Well, Abe, " Morris replied, "what harm is there in that? He's a decent, respectable young feller by the name Tuchman, what works as bookkeeperby the Kosciusko Bank. They give him a two weeks' vacation and he comesto work by us, Abe. " "That's a fine way to spend a vacation, Mawruss, " Abe commented. "Whydon't he go up to Tannersville or so?" "Because he's got to help his father out nights in his cigar store whathe keeps it on Avenue B, " Morris answered. "His father is Max Tuchman'sbrother. You know Max Tuchman, drummer for Lapidus & Elenbogen?" "Sure I know him--a loud-mouth feller, Mawruss; got a whole lot to sayfor himself. A sport and a gambler, too, " Abe said. "He'd sooner playauction pinochle than eat, Mawruss. I bet you he turns in an expenseaccount like he was on a honeymoon every trip. The last time I seen thishere Max Tuchman was up in Duluth. He was riding in a buggy with thelady buyer from Moe Gerschel's cloak department. " "Well, I suppose he sold her a big bill of goods, too, Abe, ain't it?"Morris rejoined. "He's an up-to-date feller, Abe. If anybody wants tosell goods to lady buyers they got to be up-to-date, ain't it? And sofar what I hear it nobody told it me you made such a big success withlady buyers, neither, Abe. " Abe shrugged his shoulders. "That ain't here nor there, Mawruss, " he grunted. "The thing is this:if this young feller by the name of Tuchman does Miss Cohen's work asgood as Miss Cohen does it I'm satisfied. " There was no need for apprehension on that score, however, for when thesubstitute bookkeeper arrived he proved to be an accurate andindustrious young fellow, and despite Miss Cohen's absence the work ofPotash & Perlmutter's office proceeded with orderly dispatch. "That's a fine young feller, Mawruss, " Abe commented as he and hispartner sat in the firm's show-room on the second day of Miss Cohen'svacation. "Who's this you're talking about?" Morris asked. "This here bookkeeper, " Abe replied. "What's his first name, now, Mawruss?" "Ralph, " Morris said. "Ralph!" Abe cried. "That's a name I couldn't remember it in a millionyears, Mawruss. " "Why not, Abe?" Morris replied. "Ralph ain't no harder than Moe or Jake, Abe. For my part, I ain't got no trouble in remembering that name; andanyhow, Abe, why should an up-to-date family like the Tuchmans givetheir boys such back-number names like Jake or Moe?" "Jacob and Moses was decent, respectable people in the old country, Mawruss, " Abe corrected solemnly. "I know it, Abe, " Morris rejoined; "but that was long since many yearsago already. _Now_ is another time entirely in New York City; andanyhow, with such names what we got it in our books, Abe, you shouldn'thave no trouble remembering Ralph. " "Sure not, " Abe agreed, dismissing the subject. "So, I'll call him Ike. For two weeks he wouldn't mind it. " Morris shrugged. "For my part, you can call him Andrew Carnegie, " hesaid; "only, let's not stand here talking about it all day, Abe. I seeby the paper this morning that Marcus Bramson, from Syracuse, is at thePrince William Hotel, Abe, and you says you was going up to see him. That's your style, Abe: an old-fashion feller like Marcus Bramson. Ifyou couldn't sell _him_ a bill of goods, Abe, you couldn't sell_nobody_. He ain't no lady buyer, Abe. " Abe glared indignantly at his partner. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "if youain't satisfied with the way what I sell goods you know what you can do. I'll do the inside work and you can go out on the road. It's a dawg'slife, Mawruss, any way you look at it; and maybe, Mawruss, you wouldhave a good time taking buggy rides with lady buyers. For my part, Mawruss, I got something better to do with my time. " He seized his hat, still glaring at Morris, who remained quite unmovedby his partner's indignation. "I heard it what you tell me now several times before already, Abe, " hesaid; "and if you want it that Max Tuchman or Klinger & Klein or some ofthem other fellers should cop out a good customer of ours like MarcusBramson, Abe, maybe you'll hang around here a little longer. " Abe retorted by banging the show-room door behind him, and as hedisappeared into the street Morris indulged in a broad, triumphant grin. When Abe returned an hour later he found Morris going over the monthlystatements with Ralph Tuchman. Morris looked up as Abe entered. "What's the matter, Abe?" he cried. "You look worried. " "Worried!" Abe replied. "I ain't worried, Mawruss. " "Did you seen Marcus Bramson?" Morris asked. "Sure I seen him, " said Abe; "he's coming down here at half-past threeo'clock this afternoon. You needn't trouble yourself about _him_, Mawruss. " Abe hung up his hat, while Morris and Ralph Tuchman once more fell tothe work of comparing the statements. "Look a-here, Mawruss, " Abe said at length: "who d'ye think I seen it upat the Prince William Hotel?" "I ain't no mind reader, Abe, " Morris replied. "Who _did_ you seen it?" "Miss Atkinson, cloak buyer for the Emporium, Duluth, " Abe replied. "That's Moe Gerschel's store. " Morris stopped comparing the statements, while Ralph Tuchman continuedhis writing. "She's just come in from the West, Mawruss, " Abe went on. "She ain'tregistered yet when I was going out, and she won't be in the Arrival ofBuyers till to-morrow morning. " "Did you speak to her?" Morris asked. "Sure I spoke to her, " Abe said. "I says good-morning, and sherecognized me right away. I asked after Moe, and she says he's well; andI says if she comes down here for fall goods; and she says she ain'tgoing to talk no business for a couple of days, as it's a long timealready since she was in New York and she wants to look around her. ThenI says it's a fine weather for driving just now. " He paused for a moment and looked at Morris. "Yes, " Morris said, "and what did she say?" "She says sure it is, " Abe continued, "only, she says she got thrown outof a wagon last fall, and so she's kind of sour on horses. She saysnowadays she don't go out except in oitermobiles. " "Oitermobiles!" Morris exclaimed, and Ralph Tuchman, whose protrudingears, sharp-pointed nose and gold spectacles did not belie hisinquisitive disposition, ceased writing to listen more closely toAbe's story. "That's what she said, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "and so I says for mypart, I liked it better oitermobiles as horses. " "Why, Abe, " Morris cried, "you ain't never rode in an oitermobile in allyour life. " "Sure not, Mawruss, I'm lucky if I get to a funeral oncet in a while. Ike, " he broke off suddenly, "you better get them statements mailed. " Ralph Tuchman rose sadly and repaired to the office. "That's a smart young feller, Mawruss, " Abe commented, "and while youcan't tell much about a feller from his face, Mawruss, I never seen themlong ears on anyone that minded his own business, y'understand? Andbesides, I ain't taking no chances on his Uncle Max Tuchman gettingadvance information about this here Moe Gerschel's buyer. " Morris nodded. "Maybe you're right, Abe, " he murmured. "You was telling me what this Miss Abrahamson said, Abe. " "Miss Atkinson, Mawruss, " Abe corrected, "_not_ Abrahamson. " "Well, what did she say?" Morris asked. "So she asks me if I ever went it oitermobiling, " Abe went on, "and Isays sure I did, and right away quick I seen it what she means; and Isays how about going this afternoon; and she says she's agreeable. So Isays, Mawruss, all right, I says, we'll mix business with pleasure, Isays. I told her we'll go in an oitermobile to the Bronix already, andwhen we come back to the store at about, say, five o'clock we'll lookover the line. Then after that we'll go to dinner, and after dinner wego to theayter. How's that, Mawruss?" "I heard it worse idees than that, Abe, " Morris replied; "because ifyou get this here Miss Aaronson down here in the store, naturally, shethinks if she gives us the order she gets better treatment at the dinnerand at the theayter afterward. " "That's the way I figured it out, Mawruss, " Abe agreed; "and also, Isays to myself, Mawruss will enjoy it a good oitermobile ride. " "_Me!_" Morris cried. "What have I got to do with this here oitermobileride, Abe?" "What have _you_ got to do with it, Mawruss?" Abe repeated. "Why, Mawruss, I'm surprised to hear you, you should talk that way. You goteverything to do with it. I'm a back number, Mawruss; I don't knownothing about selling goods to lady buyers, ain't it? You say ityourself, a feller has got to be up-to-date to sell goods to ladybuyers. So, naturally, you being the up-to-date member of this concern, you got to take Miss Atkinson out in the oitermobile. " "But, Abe, " Morris protested, "I ain't never rode in an oitermobile, andthere wouldn't be no pleasure in it for me, Abe. Why don't _you_ go, Abe? You say it yourself you lead it a dawg's life on the road. Now, here's a chance for you to enjoy yourself, Abe, and _you_ should go. Besides, Abe, you got commercial travelers' accident insurance, and I ain't. " "The oitermobile ain't coming till half-past one, Mawruss, " Abereplied; "between now and then you could get it a _hundred_ policiesof accident insurance. No, Mawruss, this here lady-buyer business isup to you. I got a pointer from Sol Klinger to ring up a concern onForty-sixth Street, which I done so, and fifteen dollars it costed me. That oitermobile is coming here for you at half-past one, and afterthat all you got to do is to go up to the Prince William Hotel andask for Miss Atkinson. " "But, Abe, " Morris protested, "I don't even know this here MissIsaacson. " "_Not_ Isaacson, " Abe repeated; "Atkinson. You'd better write that namedown, Mawruss, before you forget it. " "Never mind, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "I don't need to write down thingsto remember 'em. I don't have to call a young feller out of his namejust because my memory is bad, Abe. The name I'll remember good enoughwhen it comes right down _to_ it. Only, why should I go outoitermobiling riding with this Miss Atkinson, Abe? I'm the insidepartner, ain't it? And you're the outside man. Do you know what I think, Abe? I think you're scared to ride in an oitermobile. " "Me scared!" Abe cried. "Why should I be scared, Mawruss? A little thinglike a broken leg or a broken arm, Mawruss, don't scare me. I ain'tgoing because it ain't my business to go. It's your idee, thislady-buyer business, and if you don't want to go we'll chargethe fifteen dollars what I paid out to profit and loss and callthe whole thing off. " He rose to his feet, thrust out his waist-line and made a dignifiedexit by way of closing the discussion. A moment later, however, hereturned with less dignity than haste. "Mawruss, " he hissed, "that young feller--that--that--now, Ike--istelephoning. " "Well, " Morris replied, "one telephone message ain't going to put usinto bankruptcy, Abe. " "Bankruptcy, nothing!" Abe exclaimed. "He's telephoning to his UncleMax Tuchman. " Morris jumped to his feet, and on the tips of their toes they darted tothe rear of the store. "All right, Uncle Max, " they heard Ralph Tuchman say. "I'll see youto-night. Good-by. " Abe and Morris exchanged significant glances, while Ralph slunk guiltilyaway to Miss Cohen's desk. "Let's fire him on the spot, " Abe said. Morris shook his head. "What good will _that_ do, Abe?" Morris replied. "We ain't certain that he told Max Tuchman nothing, Abe. For all you andme know, Max may of rung _him_ up about something quite differentalready. " "I believe it, Mawruss, " Abe said ironically. "But, anyhow, I'm goingto ring up that oitermobile concern on Forty-sixth Street and tell 'emto send it around here at twelve o'clock. Then you can go up there tothe hotel, and if that Miss Atkinson ain't had her lunch yet buy it forher, Mawruss, for so sure as you stand there I bet yer that youngfeller, Ike, has rung up this here Max Tuchman and told him all about usgoing up there to take her out in an oitermobile. I bet yer Max will getthe biggest oitermobile he can find up there right away, and he's goingto steal her away from us, sure, if we don't hustle. " "Dreams you got it, Abe, " Morris said. "How should this here youngfeller, Ralph Tuchman, know that Miss Aaronson was a customer of hisUncle Max Tuchman, Abe?" Abe looked at Morris more in sorrow than in anger. "Mawruss, " he said, "do me the favor once and write that name down. A-T at, K-I-N kin, S-O-Nson, Atkinson--_not_ Aaronson. " "That's what I said--Atkinson--Abe, " Morris protested; "and if you're soscared we're going to lose her, Abe, go ahead and 'phone. We got to sellgoods to lady buyers _some time_, Abe, and we may as well make the break_now_. " Abe waited to hear no more, but hastened to the 'phone, and when hereturned a few minutes later he found that Morris had gone to the barbershop across the street. Twenty minutes afterward a sixty-horsepowermachine arrived at the store door just as Morris came up the steps ofthe barber shop underneath Wasserbauer's Café and Restaurant. He almostbumped into Philip Plotkin, of Kleinberg & Plotkin, who was licking therefractory wrapper of a Wheeling stogy, with one eye fixed on theautomobile in front of his competitors' store. "Hallo, Mawruss, " Philip cried. "Pretty high-toned customers you mustgot it when they come down to the store in oitermobiles, ain't it?" Morris flashed his gold fillings in a smile of triumphant superiority. "That ain't no customer's oitermobile, Philip, " he said. "That's for_us_ an oitermobile, what we take it out our customers riding in. " "Why don't you take it out credit men from commission houses riding, Mawruss?" Philip rejoined as Morris stepped from the curb to cross thestreet. This was an allusion to the well-known circumstance that withcredit men a customer's automobile-riding inspires as much confidence ashis betting on the horse races, and when Morris climbed into the tonneauhe paid little attention to Abe's instructions, so busy was he glancingaround him for prying credit men. At length, with a final jar and jerkthe machine sprang forward, and for the rest of the journey Morris' mindwas emptied of every other apprehension save that engendered of passingtrucks or street cars. Finally, the machine drew up in front of thePrince William and Morris scrambled out, trembling in every limb. Hemade at once for the clerk's desk. "Please send this to Miss Isaacson, " he said, handing out a firm card. The clerk consulted an index and shook his head. "No Miss Isaacsonregistered here, " he said. "Oh, sure not, " Morris cried, smiling apologetically. "I mean MissAaronson. " Once more the clerk pawed over his card index. "You've got the wronghotel, " he declared. "I don't see any Miss Aaronson here, either. " Morris scratched his head. He mentally passed in review Jacobson, Abrahamson, and every other Biblical proper name combined with thesuffix "son, " but rejected them all. "The lady what I want to see it is buyer for a department store inDuluth, what arrived here this morning, " Morris explained. "Let me see, " the clerk mused; "buyer, hey? What was she a buyer of?" "Cloaks and suits, " Morris answered. "Suits, hey?" the clerk commented. "Let me see--buyer of suits. Was thatthe lady that was expecting somebody with an automobile?" Morris nodded emphatically. "Well, that party called for her and they left here about ten minutesago, " the clerk replied. "What!" Morris gasped. "Maybe it was five minutes ago, " the clerk continued. "A gentlemanwith a red tie and a fine diamond pin. His name was Tucker orTuckerton or----" "Tuchman, " Morris cried. "That's right, " said the clerk; "he was a----" But Morris turned on his heel and darted wildly toward the entrance. "Say!" he cried, hailing the carriage agent, "did you seen it a ladyand a gent in an oitermobile leave here five minutes ago?" "Ladies and gents leave here in automobiles on an average of every threeminutes, " said the carriage agent. "Sure, I know, " Morris continued, "but the gent wore it a red tie with abig diamond. " "Red tie with a big diamond, " the carriage agent repeated. "Oh, yeh--Iremember now. The lady wanted to know where they was going, and the rednecktie says up to the Heatherbloom Inn and something about getting backto his store afterward. " Morris nodded vigorously. "So I guess they went up to the Heatherbloom Inn, " the carriageagent said. Once more Morris darted away without waiting to thank his informant, andagain he climbed into the tonneau of the machine. "Do you know where the Heatherbloom Inn is?" he asked the chauffeur. "What you tryin' to do?" the chauffeur commented. "Kid me?" "I ain't trying to do _nothing_, " Morris explained. "I ask it you asimple question: Do you know where the Heatherbloom Inn is?" "Say! do you know where Baxter Street is?" the chauffeur asked, andthen without waiting for an answer he opened the throttle and theyglided around the corner into Fifth Avenue. It was barely half-pasttwelve and the tide of fashionable traffic had not yet set in. Hence themotor car made good progress, nor was it until Fiftieth Street wasreached that a block of traffic caused them to halt. An automobile hadcollided with a delivery wagon, and a wordy contest was waging betweenthe driver of the wagon, the chauffeur, one of the occupants of theautomobile and a traffic-squad policeman. "You don't know your business, " a loud voice proclaimed, addressing thepoliceman. "If you did you wouldn't be sitting up there like a dummyalready. This here driver run into _us_. We didn't run into him. " It was the male occupant of the automobile that spoke, and in vain didhis fair companion clutch at the tails of the linen duster that he wore;he was in the full tide of eloquence and thoroughly enjoying himself. The mounted policeman maintained his composure--the calm of a volcanobefore its eruption, the ominous lull that precedes the tornado. "And furthermore, " continued the passenger, throwing out his chest, whereon sparkled a large diamond enfolded in crimson silk--"andfurthermore, I'll see to it that them superiors of yours down belowhears of it. " The mounted policeman jumped nimbly from his horse, and as Morris rosein the tonneau of his automobile he saw Max Tuchman being jerked bodilyto the street, while his fair companion shrieked hysterically. Morris opened the door and sprang out. With unusual energy he wormedhis way through the crowd that surrounded the policeman and approachedthe side of the automobile. "Lady, lady, " he cried, "I don't remember your name, but I'm a friend ofMax Tuchman here, and I'll get you out of this here crowd in a minute. " He opened the door opposite to the side out of which Tuchman had madehis enforced exit, and offered his hand to Max's trembling companion. The lady hesitated a brief moment. Any port in a storm, she argued toherself, and a moment later she was seated beside Morris in the latter'scar, which was moving up the Avenue at a good twenty-mile gait. Thechauffeur took advantage of the traffic policeman's professionalengagement with Max Tuchman, and it was not until the next mountedofficer hove into view that he brought his car down to its lawful gait. "If you're a friend of Mr. Tuchman's, " said the lady at length, "whydidn't you go with him to the police station and bail him out?" Morris grinned. "I guess you'll know when I tell it you that my name isMr. Perlmutter, " he announced, "of Potash & Perlmutter. " The lady turned around and glanced uneasily at Morris. "Is that so?"she said. "Well, I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Perlmutter. " "So, naturally, I don't feel so bad as I might about it, " Morriswent on. "Naturally?" the lady commented. She looked about her apprehensively. "Perhaps we'd better go back to the Prince William. Don't you think so?" "Why, you was going up to the Heatherbloom Inn with Max Tuchman, wasn'tyou?" Morris said. "How did you find _that_ out?" she asked. "A small-size bird told it me, " Morris replied jocularly. "But, anyhow, no jokes nor nothing, why shouldn't we go up and havelunch at the Heatherbloom Inn? And then you can come down andlook at our line, anyhow. " "Well, " said the lady, "if you can show me those suits as well as Mr. Tuchman could, I suppose it really won't make any difference. " "I can show 'em to you _better_ than Mr. Tuchman could, " Morris said;"and now so long as you are content to come downtown we won't talkbusiness no more till we get there. " They had an excellent lunch at the Heatherbloom Inn, and many a heartylaugh from the lady testified to her appreciation of Morris' naïveconversation. The hour passed pleasantly for Morris, too, since thelady's unaffected simplicity set him entirely at his ease. To be sure, she was neither young nor handsome, but she had all the charm thatself-reliance and ability give to a woman. "A good, smart, business head she's got it, " Morris said to himself, "and I wish I could remember that name. " Had he not feared that his companion might think it strange, he wouldhave asked her name outright. Once he called her Miss Aaronson, but thelook of amazement with which she favored him effectually discouragedhim from further experiment in that direction. Thenceforth he calledher "lady, " a title which made her smile and seemed to keep her inexcellent humor. At length they concluded their meal--quite a modest repast andcomparatively reasonable in price--and as they rose to leave Morrislooked toward the door and gasped involuntarily. He could hardly believehis senses, for there blocking the entrance stood a familiar beardedfigure. It was Marcus Bramson--the conservative, back-number MarcusBramson--and against him leaned a tall, stout person not quite as youngas her clothes and wearing a large picture hat. Obviously this was notMrs. Bramson, and the blush with which Marcus Bramson recognized Morrisonly confirmed the latter's suspicions. Mr. Bramson murmured a few words to the youthfully-dressed person at hisside, and she glared venomously at Morris, who precipitately followedhis companion to the automobile. Five minutes afterward he was chattingwith the lady as they sped along Riverside Drive. "Duluth must be a fine town, " he suggested. "It is indeed, " the lady agreed. "I have some relatives living there. " "That should make it pleasant for you, lady, " Morris went on, andthereafter the conversation touched on relatives, whereupon Morrisfavored his companion with a few intimate details of his family lifethat caused her to laugh until she was completely out of breath. To besure, Morris could see nothing remarkably humorous about it himself, andwhen one or two anecdotes intended to be pathetic were received withtears of mirth rather than sympathy he felt somewhat annoyed. Nevertheless, he hid his chagrin, and it was not long before thefamiliar sign of Wasserbauer's Café and Restaurant warned Morris thatthey had reached their destination. He assisted his companion to alightand ushered her into the show-room. "Just a minute, lady, " he said, "and I'll bring Mr. Potash here. " "But, " the lady protested, "I thought Mr. Lapidus was the gentleman whohad charge of it. " "_That's_ all right, " Morris said, "you just wait and I'll bring Mr. Potash here. " He took the stairs to the cutting-room three at a jump. "Abe, " he cried, "Miss Aaronson is downstairs. " Abe's face, which wore a worried frown, grew darker still as he regardedhis partner malevolently. "What's the matter with you, Mawruss?" hesaid. "Can't you remember a simple name like Atkinson?" "Atkinson!" Morris cried. "That's it--_Atkinson_. I've been trying toremember it that name for four hours already. But, anyhow, she'sdownstairs, Abe. " Abe rose from his task and made at once for the stairs, with Morrisfollowing at his heels. In four strides he had reached the show-room, but no sooner had he crossed the threshold than he started backviolently, thereby knocking the breath out of Morris, who was nearlyprecipitated to the floor. "Morris, " he hissed, "who is that there lady?" "Why, " Morris answered, "that's Miss Aaronson--I mean Atkinson--ain'tit?" "Atkinson!" Abe yelled. "That ain't Miss Atkinson. " "Then who _is_ she?" Morris asked. "Who _is_ she?" Abe repeated. "That's a fine question for you to ask_me_. You take a lady for a fifteen-dollar oitermobile ride, and spendit as much more for lunch in her, _and you don't even know her name_!" A cold perspiration broke out on Morris and he fairly staggered into theshow-room. "Lady, " he croaked, "do me a favor and tell me what is yourname, please. " The lady laughed. "Well, Mr. Perlmutter, " she said, "I'm sure this ismost extraordinary. Of course, there is such a thing as combiningbusiness and pleasure; but, as I told Mr. Tuchman when he insisted ontaking me up to the Heatherbloom Inn, the Board of Trustees control theplacing of the orders. I have only a perfunctory duty to perform when Iexamine the finished clothing. " "Board of Trustees!" Morris exclaimed. "Yes, the Board of Trustees of the Home for Female Orphans of Veterans, at Oceanhurst, Long Island. I am the superintendent--Miss Taylor--and Ihad an appointment at Lapidus & Elenbogen's to inspect a thousandblue-serge suits. Lapidus & Elenbogen were the successful bidders, youknow. And there was really no reason for Mr. Tuchman's hospitality, since I had nothing whatever to do with their receiving the contract, nor could I possibly influence the placing of any future orders. " Morris nodded slowly. "So you ain't Miss Atkinson, then, lady?" he said. The lady laughed again. "I'm very sorry if I'm the innocent recipientunder false pretenses of a lunch and an automobile ride, " she said, rising. "And you'll excuse me if I must hurry away to keep myappointment at Lapidus & Elenbogen's? I have to catch a train back toOceanhurst at five o'clock, too. " She held out her hand and Morris took it sheepishly. "I hope you'll forgive me, " she said. "I can't blame _you_, lady, " Morris replied as they went toward thefront door. "It ain't _your_ fault, lady. " He held the door open for her. "And as for that Max Tuchman, " he said, "I hope they send him up for life. " Abe stood in the show-room doorway as Morris returned from the front ofthe store and fixed his partner with a terrible glare. "Yes, Mawruss, "he said, "you're a fine piece of work, I must say. " Morris shrugged his shoulders and sat down. "That's what comes of notminding your own business, " he retorted. "I'm the inside, Abe, andyou're the outside, and it's your business to look after the out-of-towntrade. I told you I don't know nothing about this here lady-buyerbusiness. You ordered the oitermobile. I ain't got nothing to do withit, and, anyhow, I don't want to hear no more about it. " A pulse was beating in Abe's cheeks as he paced up and down beforereplying. "_You_ don't want to hear no more about it, Mawruss, I know, " he said;"but _I_ want to hear about it. I got a _right_ to hear about it, Mawruss. I got a right to hear it how a man could make such a fool outof himself. Tell me, Mawruss, what name did you ask it for when you wentto the clerk at the Prince William Hotel?" Morris jumped to his feet. "Lillian Russell!" he roared, and banged theshow-room door behind him. For the remainder of the day Morris and Abe avoided each other, and itwas not until the next morning that Morris ventured to address hispartner. "Did you get it any word from Marcus Bramson?" he asked. "I ain't seen nor heard nothing, " Abe replied. "I can't understand it, Mawruss; the man promised me, mind you, he would be here sure. Maybe youseen him up to the hotel, Mawruss?" "I seen him, " Morris replied, "but not at the hotel, Abe. I seen him upat that Heatherbloom Inn, Abe--with a lady. " "With a lady?" Abe cried. "Are you sure it was a lady, Mawruss? Maybeshe was a relation. " "Relations you don't take it to expensive places like the HeatherbloomInn, Abe, " Morris replied. "And, anyhow, this wasn't no relation, Abe;this was a lady. Why should a man blush for a relation, ain't it?" "Did he blush?" Abe asked; but the question remained unanswered, for asMorris was about to reply the store door opened and Marcus Bramsonentered. "Ah, Mr. Bramson, " Abe cried, "ain't it a beautiful weather?" He seized the newcomer by the hand and shook it up and down. Mr. Bramsonreceived the greeting solemnly. "Abe, " he said, "I am a man of my word, ain't it? And so I come here tobuy goods; but, all the same, I tell you the truth: I was pretty neargoing to Lapidus & Elenbogen's. " "Lapidus & Elenbogen's!" Abe cried. "Why so?" At this juncture Morris appeared at the show-room door and beamed atMr. Bramson, who looked straight over his head in cold indifference;whereupon Morris found some business to attend to in the rear ofthe store. "That's what I said, " Mr. Bramson replied, "Lapidus & Elenbogen's; andyou would of deserved it. " "Mr. Bramson, " Abe protested, "did I ever done you something that youshould talk that way?" "_Me_ you never done nothing to, Abe, " said Mr. Bramson, "but to treat alady what _is_ a lady, Abe, like a dawg, Abe, I must say it I'msurprised. "_I_ never treated no lady like a dawg, Mr. Bramson, " Abe replied. "Youmust be mistaken. " "Well, maybe it wasn't you, Abe, " Mr. Bramson went on; "but if it wasn'tyou it was your partner there, that Mawruss Perlmutter. Yesterday I seenhim up to the Heatherbloom Inn, Abe, and I assure you, Abe, I was neverbefore in my life in such a high-price place--coffee and cake, Abe, believe me, one dollar and a quarter. " He paused to let the information sink in. "But what could I do?" heasked. "I was walking through the side entrance of the Prince WilliamHotel yesterday, Abe, just on my way down to see you, when I seen it alady sitting on a bench, looking like she would like to cry only forshame for the people. Well, Abe, I looked again, Abe, and would youbelieve it, Abe, it was Miss Atkinson, what used to work for me assaleswoman and got a job by The Golden Rule Store, Elmira, as assistantbuyer, and is now buyer by Moe Gerschel, The Emporium, Duluth. " Abe nodded; he knew what was coming. "So, naturally, I asks her what it is the matter with her, and she saysPotash & Perlmutter had an appointment to take her out in an oitermobileat two o'clock, and here it was three o'clock already and they ain'tshowed up yet. Potash & Perlmutter is friends of mine, Miss Atkinson, Isays, and I'm sure something must have happened, or otherwise they wouldnot of failed to be here. So I says for her to ring you up, Abe, andfind out. But she says she would see you first in--she wouldn't ring youup for all the oitermobiles in New York. So I says, well, I says, if youdon't want to ring 'em up _I'll_ ring 'em up; and she says I should mindmy own business. So then I says, if _you_ wouldn't ring 'em up and _I_wouldn't ring 'em up I'll do _this_ for you, Miss Atkinson: You and mewill go for an oitermobile ride, I says, and we'll have just so good atime as if Potash & Perlmutter was paying for it. And so we did, Abe. Itook Miss Atkinson up to the Heatherbloom Inn, and it costed me thirtydollars, Abe, including a cigar, which I wouldn't charge you nothingfor. " "Charge _me_ nothing!" Abe cried. "Of course you wouldn't charge menothing. You wouldn't charge me nothing, Mr. Bramson, because I wouldn't_pay_ you nothing. I didn't ask you to take Miss Atkinson out in anoitermobile. " "I know you didn't, Abe, " Mr. Bramson replied firmly, "but either youwill pay for it or I will go over to Lapidus & Elenbogen's and _they_will pay for it. They'll be only too glad to pay for it, Abe, because Ibet yer Miss Atkinson she give 'em a pretty big order already, Abe. " Abe frowned and then shrugged. "All right, " he said; "if I must I must. So come on now, Mr. Bramson, and look over the line. " In the meantime Morris had repaired to the bookkeeper's desk and waslooking over the daybook with an unseeing eye. His mind was occupiedwith bitter reflections when Ralph Tuchman interrupted him. "Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "I'm going to leave. " "Going to leave?" Morris cried. "What for?" "Well, in the first place, I don't like it to be called out of myname, " he continued. "Mr. Potash calls me Ike, and my name is Ralph. If a man's name is Ralph, Mr. Perlmutter, he naturally don't like itto be called Ike. " "I know it, " Morris agreed, "but some people ain't got a good memory fornames, Ralph. Even myself I forget it names, too, oncet in a while, occasionally. " "But that ain't all, Mr. Perlmutter, " Ralph went on. "Yesterday, whileyou was out, Mr. Potash accuses me something terrible. " "Accuse you?" Morris said. "What does he accuse you for?" "He accuse me that I ring up my Uncle Max Tuchman and tell him about aMiss Atkinson at the Prince William Hotel, " Ralph continued. "I didn'tdo it, Mr. Perlmutter; believe me. Uncle Max rung me up, and I was goingto tell you and Mr. Potash what he rung me up for if you didn't lookedat me like I was a pickpocket when I was coming away from the 'phoneyesterday. " "I didn't look at you like a pickpocket, Ralph, " Morris said. "What didyour Uncle Max ring you up for?" "Why, he wanted me to tell you that so long as you was so kind and givesme this here vacation job I should do you a good turn, too. He says thatMiss Atkinson tells him yesterday she was going out oitermobile ridingwith you, and so he says I should tell you not to go to any expense byMiss Atkinson, on account that she already bought her fall line fromUncle Max when he was in Duluth three weeks ago already; and that she isnow in New York strictly on her vacation only, and _not_ to buy goods. " Morris nodded slowly. "Well, Ralph, " he said, "you're a good, smart boy, and I want you tostay until Miss Cohen comes back and maybe we'll raise you a couple ofdollars a week till then. " He bit the end off a Heatherbloom Inn cigar. "When a man gets played itgood for a sucker like we was, " he mused, "a couple of dollars more orless won't harm him none. " "That's what my Uncle Max says when he seen you up at the HeatherbloomInn yesterday, " Ralph commented. "_He_ seen me up at the Heatherbloom Inn!" Morris cried. "How should heseen me up at the Heatherbloom Inn? I thought he was made it arrested. " "Sure he was made it arrested, " Ralph said. "But he fixed it up allright at the station-house, and the sergeant lets him out. So he goes upto the Heatherbloom Inn because when he went right back to the hotel tosee after that Miss Taylor the carriage agent tells him a feller chaseshim up in an oitermobile to the Heatherbloom Inn. But when Uncle Maxgets up there you look like you was having such a good time already hehates to interrupt you, so he goes back to the store again. " Morris puffed violently at his cigar. "That's a fine piece of work, " he said, "that Max Tuchman is. " Ralph nodded. "Sure he is, " he replied. "Uncle Max is an up-to-date feller. " CHAPTER XI "The trouble is with us, Mawruss, " Abe Potash declared one afternoon inSeptember, "that we ain't in an up-to-date neighborhood. We should getit a loft in one of them buildings up in Seventeenth, Eighteenth orNineteenth Street, Mawruss. All the trade is up in that neighborhood. " "I ain't got such a good head for figures like you got it, Abe, " MorrisPerlmutter replied, "and so I am content we should stay where we are. Wedone it always a fair business here, Abe. Ain't it?" "Sure, I know, " Abe went on, "but the way it is with out-of-townbuyers, Mawruss, they goes where the crowd is, and they ain't going tobe bothered to come way downtown for us, Mawruss. " "Well, how about Klinger & Klein, Lapidus & Elenbogen, and all thempeople, Abe?" Morris asked. "Ain't them out-of-town buyers going to buygoods off of them neither?" "Klinger & Klein already hire it a fine loft on Nineteenth Street, " Abeinterposed. "Well, Abe, " Morris rejoined, "Klinger & Klein, like a whole lot ofpeople what I know, acts like monkeys, Abe. They see somebody doingsomething and they got to do it too. " "If we could do the business what Klinger & Klein done it, Mawruss, I amwilling I should act like a monkey. " "Another thing, Abe, " Morris went on, "Klinger & Klein sends their workout by contractors. We got it operators and machines, Abe, and you can'thave a show-room, cutting-room and machines all in one loft. Ain't it?" "Well, then we get it two lofts, Mawruss, and then we could put ourworkrooms upstairs and our show-room and offices downstairs. " "And double our expenses, too, Abe, " Morris added. "No, Abe, I don'twant to work for no landlord all my life. " "But I seen Marks Henochstein yesterday, Mawruss, and he told it meKlinger & Klein ain't paying half the rent what they pay down here. So, if we could get it two floors we wouldn't increase our expenses, Mawruss, and could do it maybe twicet the business. " "Marks Henochstein is a real-estater, Abe, " Morris replied, "and when areal-estater tells you something, you got to make allowances fifty percent. For facts. " "I know, " Abe cried; "but we don't have to hire no loft what we don'twant to, Mawruss. Henochstein can't compel you to pay twicet as muchwhat we're paying now. Ain't it? So what is the harm if we should maybeask him to find a couple of lofts for us? Ain't it?" "All right, Abe, " Morris concluded, "if I must go crazy listening to youtalking about it I sooner move first. So go ahead and do what you like. " "Well, the fact is, " said Abe, "I told Marks Henochstein he should findit a couple lofts for us this morning, Mawruss, agreeing strictly thatwe should not pay him nothing, as he gets a commission from the landlordalready. " Morris received this admission with a scowl. "For a feller what's got such a nerve like you got it, Abe, " hedeclared, "I am surprised you should make it such a poor salesman. " "When a man's got it a back-number partner, Mawruss, his hands is fullinside and outside the store, and so naturally he loses it a fewcustomers oncet in a while, " Abe replied. "But, somebody's got to havenerve in a business, Mawruss, and if I waited for you to makesuggestions we would never get nowhere. " Morris searched his mind for an appropriate rejoinder, and had justformulated a particularly bitter jibe when the store door opened toadmit two shabbily-dressed females. "Here, you, " Abe called, "operators goes around the alley. " The elder of the two females drew herself up haughtily. "Operators!" she said with a scornful rising inflection. "Finishers, also, " Abe continued. "This here door is for customers. " "You don't know me, Potash, " she retorted. "Might you don't know thislady neither, maybe?" She indicated her companion, who turned a mournful gaze upon theastonished Abe. "But we know you, Potash, " she went on. "We know you already when youdidn't have it so much money what you got now. " Her companion nodded sadly. "So, Potash, " she concluded, "your own wife's people is operators andfinishers; what?" Abe looked at Morris, who stood grinning broadly in the show-roomdoorway. "Give me an introduction once, Abe, " Morris said. "He don't have to give us no introduction, " the elder female exclaimed. "Me, I am Mrs. Sarah Mashkowitz, and this here lady is my sister, Mrs. Blooma Sheikman, _geborn_ Smolinski. " "That ain't my fault that you got them names, " Abe said. "I see it nowthat you're my wife's father's brother's daughter, ain't it? So ifyou're going to make a touch, make it. I got business to attend to. " "We ain't going to make no touch, Potash, " Mrs. Mashkowitz declared. "Wewould rather die first. " "All right, " Abe replied heartlessly. "Die if you got to. You can't makeme mad. " Mrs. Mashkowitz ignored Abe's repartee. "We don't ask nothing for ourselves, Potash, " she said, "but we got it asister, your wife's own cousin, Miriam Smolinski. She wants to getmarried. " "I'm agreeable, " Abe murmured, "and I'm sure my Rosie ain't got noobjections neither. " Mrs. Sheikman favored him with a look of contempt. "What chance has a poor girl got it to get married?" she asked. "When she ain't got a dollar in the world, " Mrs. Mashkowitz added. "Andher own relatives from her own blood is millionaires already. " "If you mean me, " Abe replied, "I ain't no millionaire, I can assureyou. Far from it. " "Plenty of money you got it, Potash, " Mrs. Mashkowitz said. "Fivehundred dollars to you is to me like ten cents. " "He don't think no more of five hundred dollars than you do of yourlife, lady, " Morris broke in with a raucous laugh. "Do me the favor, Mawruss, " Abe cried, "and tend to your own business. " "Sure, " Morris replied, as he turned to go. "I thought I was helping youout, Abe, that's all. " He repaired to the rear of the store, while Abe piloted his two visitorsinto the show-room. "Now what is it you want from me?" he asked. "Not a penny she got it, " Mrs. Mashkowitz declared, breaking into tears. "And she got a fine young feller what is willing to marry her and wantsit only five hundred dollars. " "Only five hundred dollars, " Mrs. Sheikman moaned. "Only five hundreddollars. _Ai vai!_" "Five hundred dollars!" Abe exclaimed. "If you think you should cry tillyou get five hundred dollars out of me, you got a long wet spell aheadof you. That's all I got to say. " "Might he would take two hundred and fifty dollars, maybe, " Mrs. Sheikman suggested hopefully through her tears. "Don't let him do no favors on my account, " Abe said; "because, if itwas two hundred and fifty buttons it wouldn't make no difference to me. " "A fine young feller, " Mrs. Mashkowitz sobbed. "He got six machines andtwo hundred dollars saved up and wants to go into the cloak and suitcontracting business. " "Only a hundred dollars if the poor girl had it, " Mrs. Sheikman burstforth again; "maybe he would be satisfied. " "S'enough!" Abe roared. "I heard enough already. " He banged a sample table with his fist and Mrs. Sheikman jumped inher seat. "That's a heart what you got it, " she said bitterly, "like Haman. " "Haman was a pretty good feller already compared to me, " Abe declared;"and also I got business to attend to. " "Come, Sarah, " Mrs. Sheikman cried. "What's the use talking to abloodsucker like him!" "Wait!" Mrs. Mashkowitz pleaded; "I want to ask him one thing more. IfMiriam got it this young feller for a husband, might you would give himsome of your work, maybe?" "Bloodsuckers don't give no work to nobody, " Abe replied firmly. "Andalso will you get out of my store, or will you be put out?" He turned on his heel without waiting for an answer and joined Morris inthe rear of the store. Ten minutes later he was approached by Jake, the shipping-clerk. "Mr. Potash, " Jake said, "them two ladies in the show-room wants to knowif you would maybe give that party they was talking about arecommendation to the President of the Kosciusko Bank?" "Tell 'em, " Abe said, "I'll give 'em a recommendation to a policemanif they don't get right out of here. The only way what a fellershould deal with a nervy proposition like that, Mawruss, is tosquash it in the bud. " In matters pertaining to real estate Marks Henochstein held himselfto be a virtuoso. "If anyone can put it through, I can, " was his motto, and he tackledthe job of procuring an uptown loft for Potash & Perlmutter with theutmost confidence. "In the first place, " he said when he called the next day, "you boys hasgot too much room. " "Boys!" Morris exclaimed. "Since when did we go to school together, Henochstein?" "Anyhow, you got too much room, ain't yer?" Henochstein continued, hisconfidence somewhat diminished by the rebuff. "You could get yourworkrooms and show-rooms all on one floor, and besides----" Morris raised his hand like a traffic policeman halting an obstreperoustruckman. "S'enough, Henochstein, " he said. "S'enough about that. We ain't givingyou no pointers in the real-estate business, and we don't want nosuggestions about the cloak and suit business neither. We asked it youto get us two lofts on Seventeenth, Eighteenth or Nineteenth Street, thesame size as here and for the same what we pay it here rent. If youcan't do it let us know, that's all, and we get somebody else to do it. Y'understand?" "Oh, I can do it all right. " "Sure he can do it, " Abe said encouragingly. "And I'll bring you a list as big as the telephone directory to-morrow, "Henochstein added as he went out. "But all the same, boys--I mean Mr. Perlmutter--I don't think you need it all that space. " "That's a fresh real-estater for you, Abe, " Morris said afterHenochstein left. "Wants to tell it us our business and calls us boysyet, like we was friends from the old country already. " "Oh, I don't know, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "He means it good, I guess;and anyway, Mawruss, we give so much of our work out by contractors, wemight as well give the whole thing out and be done with it. We might aswell have one loft with the cutting-room in the back and a rack forpiece goods. Then the whole front we could fit it up as an office andshow-room yet, and we would have no noise of the machines and no moretrouble with garment-makers' unions nor nothing. I think it's a goodidee sending out all the work. " "Them contractors makes enough already on what we give them, Abe, "Morris replied. "I bet yer Satinstein buys real estate on what he makesfrom us, Abe, and Ginsburg & Kaplan also. " "Well, the fact is, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "I ain't at all satisfiedwith the way what Satinstein treats us, Mawruss, nor Ginsburg & Kaplanneither. I got an idee, Mawruss: we should give all our work to adecent, respectable young feller what is going to marry a cousin of mywife, by the name Miriam Smolinski. " Morris looked long and hard at Abe before replying. "So, Abe, " he said, "you squashed it in the bud!" "Well, them two women goes right up and sees my Rosie yesterday, Mawruss, " Abe admitted; "and so my Rosie thinks it wouldn't do us noharm that we should maybe give the young feller a show. " "Is your wife Rosie running this business, Abe, or are we?" Morrisasked. "It ain't a question what Rosie thinks, Mawruss, " Abe explained; "it'swhat I think, too. I think we should give the young feller a show. He'sa decent, respectable young feller, Mawruss. " "How do I know that, Abe?" Morris replied. "I ain't never seen him, Abe;I don't even know his name. " "What difference does that make it, Mawruss?" said Abe. "I ain't neverseen him neither, Mawruss, and I don't know his name, too; but he couldmake up our line just as good, whether his name was Thomassheffsky orMurphy. Also, what good would it do us if we did see him first? I'msure, Mawruss, we ain't giving out our work to Satinstein because he's agood-looking feller, and Ginsburg & Kaplan ain't no John Drews neither, so far what I hear it, Mawruss. " "That ain't the idee, Abe, " Morris broke in; "the idee is that we gotto give up doing our work in our own shop and send it out by acontractor just starting in as a new beginner already--a young fellerwhat you don't know and I don't know, Abe--and all this we got to dojust because you want it, Abe. Me, I am nothing here, Abe, and you areeverything. You are the dawg and I am the tail. You are the oitermobileand I am the smell, and that's the way it goes. " "Who says that, Mawruss?" Abe interposed. "I didn't say it. " "You didn't say it, Abe, " Morris went on, "but you think it just thesame, and I'm going to show you differencely. I am content that we move, Abe, only we ain't going to move unless we can find it two lofts for thesame rent what we pay it here. And we ain't going to have less room thanwe got it here neither, Abe, because if we move we're going to do ourown business just the same like we do it here, and that's flat. " For the remainder of the day Abe avoided any reference to theirimpending removal, and it was not until Henochstein entered theshow-room the following morning that the discussion was renewed. "Well, boys, " he said in greeting, "I got it a fine loft for you onNineteenth Street with twicet as much floor space what you got here. " "A loft!" Morris cried. "A loft, " Henochstein repeated. "One loft?" Morris asked. "That's what I said, " Henochstein replied, "one loft with twicet asmuch floor space, and it's got light on all----" Morris waved his hand for silence. "Abe, " he said, "this here Henochstein is a friend of yours; ain't it?" Abe nodded sulkily. "Well, take him out of here, " Morris advised, "before I kick him out. " He banged the show-room door behind him and repaired to Wasserbauer'sCafé and Restaurant across the street to await Henochstein's departure. "Mawruss is right, " Abe declared. "You was told distinctively wewanted it two lofts, not one, and here you come back with a one-loftproposition. " Henochstein rose to leave. "If you think it you could get two up-to-date lofts on Seventeenth, Eighteenth or Nineteenth Street, Abe, for what you pay it here in thisdinky place, " he said, "you got another think coming. " He opened the show-room door. "And also, Abe, " he concluded, "if I got it a partner what made it aslave of me, like Perlmutter does you, I'd go it alone, that's all Igot to say. " After Henochstein left, Abe was a prey to bitter reflections, which wereonly interrupted by his partner's return to the show-room a quarter ofan hour later. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "you got your turn at this here movingbusiness; let me try a hand at it once. " "Go ahead, Mawruss, " Abe said wearily. "You always get your own way, anyhow. You say I am the dawg, Mawruss, and you are the tail, butI guess you got it the wrong way round. I guess the tail is on theother foot. " Morris shrugged. "That's something what is past already, Abe, " he replied. "I was justtalking to Wasserbauer, and he says he got it a friend what is a sort ofa real-estater, a smart young feller by the name Sam Slotkin. He says ifSlotkin couldn't find it us a couple of lofts, nobody couldn't. " "I'm satisfied, Mawruss, " Abe said. "If Slotkin can get us lofts wemove, otherwise we stay here. So far we made it always a living here, Mawruss, and I guess we ain't going to lose all our customers even if wedon't move; and that's all there is to it. " Mr. Sam Slotkin was doubtless his own ideal of a well-dressed man. Allthe contestants in a chess tournament could have played on his clothesat one time, and the ox-blood stripes on his shirt exactly matched thecolor of his necktie and socks. He had concluded his interview withMorris on the morning following Henochstein's fiasco, before Abe'sarrival at the office, and he was just leaving as Abe came in. "Who's that, Mawruss?" Abe asked, staring after the departing figure. "That's Sam Slotkin, " Morris replied. "He looks like a bright youngfeller. " "I bet yer he looks bright, " Abe commented. "He looks so bright in themvaudeville clothes that it almost gives me eye-strain. I suppose he sayshe can get us the lofts. " "Sure, " Morris answered; "he says he can fix us up all right. " "I hope so, " Abe said skeptically, and at once repaired to the office. It was the tail-end of a busy season and Abe and Morris found no time torenew the topic of their forthcoming removal until two days later whenSam Slotkin again interviewed Morris. The result was communicated to Abeby Morris after Slotkin's departure. "He says, Abe, that he thinks he's got the very place for us, " Morrissaid. "He thinks he got it, Mawruss, " Abe exclaimed. "Well, we can't rip outour store here on the strength of a think, Mawruss. When will he know ifhe's got it?" "To-morrow morning, " Morris replied, and went upstairs to the workroom, where the humming of many machines testified to the last rush of theseason's work. Abe joined him there a few minutes later. "Believe me, Mawruss, " he said, "I'll be glad when this here order forthe Fashion Store is out. " "It takes a week yet, Goldman tells me, " Morris replied, "and I guess wemight have to work nights if they don't make it a hurry-up. " "Well, we're pretty late with that Fashion Store delivery as it is, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "It wouldn't hurt none if we did work nights, Mawruss. We ought to get that order out by the day after to-morrow yet. " "You speak to 'em, Abe, " Morris retorted, indicating the working forceby a wave of his hand. "What have I got to do with it?" Abe asked. "You're the inside man, Mawruss. " "To my sorrow, Abe, " said Morris, "and if you was the inside man youwould know it that if I told 'em they was working on a rush order they'dstrike for more money already. " "And yet, Mawruss, you ain't in favor of giving out our work bycontractors, " Abe cried as he walked away. The next morning Sam Slotkin was waiting in the show-room before Abe orMorris arrived. When they entered he advanced to meet them with aconfident smile. "I got it the very thing what you want, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "Afine loft on Nineteenth Street. " "A loft!" Abe exclaimed. "A fine loft, " Slotkin corrected. "How big a loft?" Morris asked. "Well, it is maybe twicet as big as this here, " Slotkin replied. "Youcould get into it all your machines and have a cutting-room andshow-room and office besides. " "That sounds pretty good, Abe, " Morris commented. "Don't you thinkso, Abe?" Abe pulled off his coat with such force that he ripped thesleeve-lining. "What are you doing, " he demanded, "making jokes with me?" "And it's only twenty dollars more a month as you're paying here, "Slotkin concluded. "Twenty dollars a month won't make us or break us, Abe, " Morris said. "It won't, hey?" Abe roared. "Well, that don't make no difference, Mawruss. You said you wanted it two lofts, and we got to have it twolofts. How do you think we're going to sell goods and keep our books, Mawruss, if we have all them machines kicking up a racket on thesame floor?" "Well, Abe, might we could send our work out by contractors, maybe, "Morris answered with all the vivacity of a man suggesting a new andbrilliant idea. Abe stared at his partner for a minute. "What's the matter with you, Morris, anyway?" he asked at length. "Firstyou say it we must have two lofts and keep our work in our own shop, andnow you turn right around again. " "I got to talking it over with Minnie last night, " Morris replied, "andshe thinks maybe if we give our work out by contractors we wouldn't needit to stay down so late, and then I wouldn't keep the dinner waiting anhour or so every other night. We lose it two good girls already by it insix months. " "Who is running this business, Mawruss?" Abe roared. "Minnie or us?" Sam Slotkin listened with a slightly bored air. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, " he said, "what's the use of it you make all thisdisturbance? The loft is light on all four sides, with two elevators. Also, it is already big enough for----" "What are you butting in for?" Abe shouted. "What business is it ofyours, anyhow?" "I am the broker, " Sam Slotkin replied with simple dignity. "And alsoyou're going to take that loft. Otherwise I lose it three hundreddollars' commission, and besides----" "My partner is right, " Morris interrupted. "You ain't got no business tosay what we will or will not do. If we want to take it we will take it, otherwise not. " "Don't worry, " Sam Slotkin cried, "you will take it all right and I'llbe back this afternoon for an answer. " He put on his hat and left without another word, while Abe and Morrislooked at each other in blank amazement. "That's a real-estater for you, " Abe said. "Henochstein's got it prettygood nerve, Mawruss, but this feller acts so independent like a doctoror a lawyer. " Morris nodded and started to hang up his hat and coat, but even as hishand was poised half-way to the hook it became paralyzed. SimultaneouslyAbe looked up from the column of the Daily Cloak and Suit Record andMiss Cohen, the bookkeeper, stopped writing; for the hum of sewingmachines, which was as much a part of their weekday lives as the beatingof their own hearts, had suddenly ceased. Abe and Morris took the stairs leading to the upper floor three at ajump, and arrived breathlessly in the workroom just as fifty-oddemployees were putting on their coats preparatory to leaving. "What's the matter?" Abe gasped. "Strike, " Goldman, the foreman, replied. "A strike!" Morris cried. "What for a strike?" Goldman shrugged his shoulders. "Comes a walking delegate by the opposite side of the street and makeswith his hands motions, " he explained. "So they goes out on strike. " Few of the striking operators could speak English, but those that didnodded their corroboration. "For what you strike?" Morris asked them. "Moost strike, " one of them replied. "Ven varking delegate say mooststrike, ve moost strike. " Sadly Abe and Morris watched their employees leave the building, andthen they repaired to the show-room. "There goes two thousand dollars, Mawruss, " Abe said. "For so sure asyou live, Mawruss, if we don't make that delivery to the Fashion Storeinside of a week we get a cancelation by the next day's mail; ain't it?" Morris nodded gloomily, and they both remained silent for a fewminutes. "Mawruss, " Abe said at last, "where is that loft what Slotkin gives us?" "What do you want to know for?" "I'm going right up to have a look at it, " Abe replied. "I'm sick andtired of this here strike business. " Morris heaved a great sigh. "I believe you, Abe, " he said. "The way I feel it now we will sell forjunk every machine what we got. " Forthwith Abe boarded a car for uptown, and when he returned two hourslater he found Goldman discussing ways and means with Morris in theshow-room. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "what for a loft you seen it?" Abe hung up his hat deliberately. "I tell you the truth, Mawruss, " he said, turning around, "the loftain't bad. It's a good-looking loft, Mawruss, only it's certain sure wecouldn't have no machines in that loft. " "_Ai vai!_" Goldman exclaimed, rocking to and fro in his chair andstriking his head with his clenched fist. "_Nu_ Goldman?" Morris asked. "What's the trouble with you?" "Troubles enough he got it, Mawruss, " Abe said, as he watched Goldman'sevolutions of woe. "If we do away with our machines he loses his job;ain't it?" Sympathy seemed only to intensify Goldman's distress. "Better than that he should make me dizzy at my stomach to watch him, Abe, " Morris said. "I got a suggestion. " Goldman ceased rocking and looked up. "I got a suggestion, Abe, " Morris went on, "that we sell it our machineson long terms of credit to Goldman, and he should go into thecontracting business; ain't it?" "_Ai vai!_" Goldman cried again, and commenced to rock anew. "Stop it, Goldman, " Abe yelled. "What's the trouble now?" "What show does a feller got it what starts as a new beginner in cloakcontracting already?" Goldman wailed. "Well, " Abe replied, "you could get our work. " Morris seized on this as a happy compromise between his own advocacy ofGinsburg & Kaplan and the rival claims of Abe's wife's relations. "Sure, " he agreed. "We will give him the work what we give now toSatinstein and Ginsburg & Kaplan. " Goldman's face spread into a thousand wrinkles of joy. "You save my life!" he exclaimed. "Only he got to agree by a lawyer he should make it up our work a wholelot cheaper as they did, " Morris concluded. Goldman nodded vigorously. "Sure, sure, " he said. "And also he got to help us call off this here strike, " Abe added. "I do my bestest, " Goldman replied. "Only we got to see it the varkingdelegate first and fix it up with him. " "Who is this walking delegate, anyhow?" Morris asked. Goldman scratched his head to aid his memory. "I remember it now, " he said at last. "It's a feller by the nameSam Slotkin. " When Abe and Morris recovered from the shock of Goldman's disclosurethey vied with each other in the strength of their resolutions not tomove into Sam Slotkin's loft. "I wouldn't pay it not one cent blackmailneither, " Abe declared, "not if they kept it up the strike for a year. " "Better as we should let that sucker do us, Abe, " Morris declared, "Iwould go out of the business first; ain't it?" Abe nodded and, after a few more defiant sentiments, they went upstairswith Goldman to estimate the amount of work undone on the Fashion Storeorder. "Them Fashion people was always good customers of ours, too, Mawruss, "Abe commented, "and we couldn't send the work out by contractors in thisshape. It would ruin the whole job. " Morris nodded sadly. "If we could only get them devils of operators to finish up, " he said, "they could strike till they was blue in the face yet. " "But I wouldn't pay one cent to that sucker, Slotkin, Mawruss, " Abeadded. "Sure not, " Morris agreed. "Might you wouldn't have to pay him nothing, maybe, " Goldman suggested. "What d'ye mean?" Abe cried. "Might if you would take it the loft he would call off the strike, " saidGoldman. "That's so, Mawruss, " Abe murmured, as though this phase of the matterhad just occurred to him for the first time. "Maybe Goldman is right, Abe, " Morris replied. "Maybe if we took it theloft Slotkin would call off the strike. " "After all, Mawruss, " Abe said, "the loft ain't a bad loft, Mawruss. Ifit wasn't such a good loft, Mawruss, I would say it no, Mawruss, weshouldn't take the loft; but the loft is a first-class A Number Oneloft. " "S'enough, Abe, " Morris replied. "You don't have to tell it me a hundredtimes already. I ain't disputing it's a good loft; and so if Slotkincalls off the strike we take the loft. " At this juncture the store door opened and Slotkin himself entered. "Good afternoon, gents, " he said. Morris and Abe greeted him with a scowl. "I suppose you come for an answer about that loft, huh?" Morris snorted. Slotkin stared at Abe indignantly. "Excuse me, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "I ain't here as broker. I'll seeyou later about that already. I come here now as varking delegate. " "Sure, I know, " Abe replied. "When you call it a strike on us thismorning, that ain't got nothing to do with our taking the loft. Webelieve that, Slotkin; so go ahead and tell us something else. " "It makes me no difference whether you believe it or you don't believeit, Mr. Potash, " Slotkin went on. "All I got to say is that you signedit an agreement with the union; ain't it?" "Sure, we signed it, " said Abe, "and we kept it, too. We pay 'em alwaysunion prices and we keep it union hours. " "Prices and hours is all right, " Slotkin said, "but in the agreementstands it you should give 'em a proper place to work in it. " "Well, " Morris cried, "ain't it a proper place here to work in it?" Slotkin shook his head. "As varking delegate I seen it already. I seen it your shop where youroperators work, " he commenced, "and----" "Why, you ain't never been inside our shop, " Goldman cried. "I seen it from the outside--from the street already--and as varkingdelegate it is my duty to call on you a strike, " Slotkin concluded. "What's the matter with the workroom?" Abe asked. "Well, the neighborhood ain't right, " Slotkin explained. "It's a narrowstreet already. It should be on a wider street like Nineteenth Street. " He paused to note the effect and Morris grunted involuntarily. "Also, " Slotkin continued, "it needs it light on four sides, and twoelevators. " "And I suppose if we hire it such a loft, Slotkin, " Abe broke in, "youwill call off the strike. " "Sure I will call it off the strike, " he declared. "It would be my dutyas varking delegate. I moost call it off the strike. " "All right, then, " Abe said; "call off the strike. We made up our mindwe will take the loft. " "You mean you will take such a loft what the union agreement calls forand which I just described it to you, " Slotkin corrected in his qualityof walking delegate. "That's what we mean, " Abe replied. "Why, then, that loft what I called to your attention, as broker, thismorning would be exactly what you would need it!" Slotkin exclaimed, inthe hearty tones of a conscientious man, glad that for once theperformance of his official duty redounded to clean-handed personalprofit. "Sure, " Abe grunted. "Then, as broker, I tell it you that the leases is ready down at HenryD. Feldman's office, " Slotkin replied, "and as soon as they are signedthe strike is off. " A week later the Fashion Store's order was finished, packed and shipped;and on the same day that Goldman, the foreman, dismissed the handshe went down to Henry D. Feldman's office. There he signed anagreement with Potash & Perlmutter to make up all their garmentsin the contracting shop which he proposed to open the first of thefollowing month. "Where are you going to have it your shop, Goldman?" Morris asked, afterthey had returned from Feldman's. "That I couldn't tell it you just yet, " Goldman replied. "We ain't quitedecided yet. " "We!" Abe cried excitedly. "Who's we?" "Well, I expect to get it a partner with a couple of hundred dollars, "Goldman said; "but, anyhow, Mr. Potash, I get some cards printed nextweek and I send you one. " "All right, " Abe replied. "Only let me give it you a piece of advice, Goldman: If you get it a partner, don't make no mistake and havesome feller what wants to run you and the business and everybodyelse, Goldman. " The thrust went home and Morris stared fiercely at his partner. "And you should see it also that his wife ain't got no relations, Goldman, " he added, "otherwise he'll want you to share the profits ofthe business with them. " Goldman nodded. "Oh, I got a good, smart feller picked out, and his wife's relationswill be all right, too, " he said, as he started to leave. "But, anyhow, Mr. Perlmutter, I let you know next week. " About ten days afterward, while Morris and Abe were in the throes ofpacking, prior to the removal of their business, the letter-carrierentered with a batch of mail, and Morris immediately took it into theshow-room. "Here, Abe, " he said, as he glanced at the first envelope, "this isfor you. " Then he proceeded to go through the remainder of the pile. "Holy smokes!" he cried, as he opened the next envelope. "What's the matter?" Abe asked. "Is it a failure?" He had read his ownletter and held it between trembling fingers as he inquired. "Look at this, " Morris said, handing him a card. It was a fragment of cheap pasteboard and bore the following legend: PHILIP GOLDMAN SAM SLOTKIN GOLDMAN & SLOTKIN CLOAK AND SUIT CONTRACTORS SPONGING AND EXAMINING PIKE STREET NEW YORK Abe read the card and handed it back in silence. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "that's a fine piece of business. We not onlygot to take it the loft what Slotkin picks out for us, but we also gotto give Slotkin our work also. " Abe shrugged his shoulders in an indifferent manner. "You always got to run things your way, Mawruss, " he said. "If you letme do it my way, Mawruss, we wouldn't of had no strike nor trouble nornothing, and it would of been the same in the end. " "What d'ye mean?" Morris exclaimed. "Look at this here, " Abe replied, handing him the letter. It was printedin script on heavily-coated paper and read as follows: MRS. SARAH MASHKOWITZ & MRS. BLOOMA SHEIKMAN SISTERS OF THE BRIDE REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR CO. AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR SISTER MISS MIRIAM SMOLINSKI TO SAM SLOTKIN ON SUNDAY OCT 3 1907 at 7 P M SHARP NEW RIGA HALL ALLEN STREET BRIDE'S RESIDENCE CARE OF ROTHMAN'S CORSET STORE 4025 MADISON AVE N Y CITY LADIES AND GENTS WARDROBE CHECK 50C CHAPTER XII "Yes, Mawruss, " Abe Potash said to his partner as they stood togetherand surveyed the wild disorder of their business premises, "one removalis worser as a fire. " "Sure it is, " Morris Perlmutter agreed. "A fire you can insure it, Abe, but a removal is a risk what you got to take yourself; and you're boundto make it a loss. " "Not if you got a little system, Mawruss, " Abe went on. "The troublewith us is, Mawruss, we ain't got no system. In less than three weeksalready we got to move into the loft on Nineteenth Street, Mawruss, andwe ain't even made up our minds about the fixtures yet. " "The fixtures!" Morris cried. "For why should we make up our minds aboutthe fixtures, Abe?" "We need to have fixtures, Mawruss, ain't it?" "What's the matter with the fixtures what we got it here, Abe?" Morrisasked. "Them ain't fixtures what we got it here, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Junkis what we got it here, Mawruss, not fixtures. If we was to move thembum-looking racks and tables up to Nineteenth Street, Mawruss, it wouldbe like an insult to our customers. " "Would it?" Morris replied. "Well, we ain't asking 'em to buy thefixtures, Abe; we only sell 'em the garments. Anyhow, if our customerswas so touchy, Abe, they would of been insulted long since ago. For wegot them fixtures six years already, and before we had 'em yet, Abe, Pincus Vesell bought 'em, way before the Spanish War, from Kupferman &Daiches, and then Kupferman & Daiches----" "S'enough, Mawruss, " Abe protested. "I ain't asked you you should tellme the family history of them fixtures, Mawruss. I know it as well asyou do, Mawruss, them fixtures is old-established back numbers, and Iwouldn't have 'em in the store even if we was going to stay here yet. " "You wouldn't have 'em in the store, " Morris broke in; "but how aboutme? Ain't I nobody here, Abe? I think I got something to say, too, Abe. So I made up my mind we're going to keep them fixtures and move'em up to the new store. We done it always a good business with themfixtures, Abe. " "Yes, Mawruss, and we also lose it a good customer by 'em, too, " Aberejoined. "You know as well as I do that after one-eye Feigenbaum, ofthe H. F. Cloak Company, run into that big rack over by the door andbusted his nose we couldn't sell him no more goods. " "Was it the rack's fault that Henry Feigenbaum only got one eye, Abe?"Morris cried. "Anyhow, Abe, when a feller got a nose like HenryFeigenbaum, Abe, he's liable to knock it against most any thing, Abe; soyou couldn't blame it on the fixtures. " "I don't know who was to blame, Mawruss, " Abe said, "but I do know thathe buys it always a big bill of goods from H. Rifkin, what's got thatloft on the next floor above where we took it on Nineteenth Street, andRifkin does a big business by him. I bet yer Feigenbaum's account iseasy worth two thousand a year net to Rifkin, Mawruss. " "Maybe it is and maybe it ain't, Abe, " Morris rejoined, "but that ain'there nor there. Instead you should be estimating Rifkin's profits, Abe, you should better be going up to Nineteenth Street and see if thempeople gets through painting and cleaning up. I got it my hands fulldown here. " Abe reached for his hat. "I bet yer you got your hands full, Mawruss, " he grumbled. "The way itlooks, now, Mawruss, you got our sample lines so mixed up it'll be outof date before you get it sorted out again. " "All right, " Morris retorted, "we'll get out a new one. We don't carenothing about the expenses, Abe. If the old fixtures ain't good enoughour sample line ain't good enough, neither. Ain't it? What do we careabout money, Abe?" He paused to emphasize the irony. "No, Abe, " he concluded, "don't you worry about them samples, nor themfixtures, neither. You got worry enough if you tend to your ownbusiness, Abe. I'll see that them samples gets up to Nineteenth Streetin good shape. " Abe shrugged his shoulders and made for the door. "And them fixtures also, Abe, " Morris shouted after him. The loft building on Nineteenth Street into which Potash & Perlmutterproposed to move was an imposing fifteen-story structure. Burnishedmetal signs of its occupants flanked its wide doorway, and the entrancehall gleamed with gold leaf and plaster porphyry, while the uniform ofeach elevator attendant would have graced the high admiral of a SouthAmerican Navy. So impressed was Abe with the magnificence of his surroundings that heforgot to call his floor when he entered one of the elevators, andinstead of alighting at the fifth story he was carried up to the sixthfloor before the car stopped. Seven or eight men stepped out with him and passed through the door ofH. Rifkin's loft, while Abe sought the stairs leading to the floorbelow. He walked to the westerly end of the hall, only to find that thestaircase was at the extreme easterly end, and as he retraced hisfootsteps a young man whom he recognized as a clerk in the office ofHenry D. Feldman, the prominent cloak and suit attorney, was pasting alarge sheet of paper on H. Rifkin's door. It bore the following legend: CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE FEDERAL RECEIVER HENRY D. FELDMAN Attorney for Petitioning Creditors Abe stopped short and shook the sticky hand of the bill-poster. "How d'ye do, Mr. Feinstein?" he said. "Ah, good morning, Mr. Potash, " Feinstein cried in his employer's besttone and manner. "What's the matter? Is Rifkin in trouble?" "Oh, no, " Feinstein replied ironically. "Rifkin ain't in trouble; hiscreditors is in trouble, Mr. Potash. The Federal Textile Company, tenthousand four hundred and eighty-two dollars; Miller, Field & Simpson, three thousand dollars; the Kosciusko Bank, two thousand and fifty. " Abe whistled his astonishment. "I always thought he done it such a fine business, " he commented. "Sure he done it a fine business, " the law clerk said. "I should say hedid done it a fine business. If he got away with a cent he got away withfifty thousand dollars. " "Don't nobody know where he skipped to?" "Only his wife, " Feinstein replied, "and she left home yesterday. Somesays she went to Canada and some says to Mexico; but they mostly goes toBrooklyn, and who in blazes could find her there?" Abe nodded solemnly. "But come inside and give a look around, " Feinstein said hospitably. "Maybe there's something you would like to buy at the receiver's salenext week. " Abe handed Feinstein a cigar, and together they went into Rifkin's loft. "He's got some fine fixtures, ain't it?" Abe said as he gazed upon themahogany and plate-glass furnishings of Rifkin's office. "Sure he has, " Feinstein replied nonchalantly, scratching a parlor matchon the veneered shelf under the cashier's window. The first attemptmissed fire, and again he drew a match across the lower part of thepartition, leaving a great scar on its polished surface. "Ain't you afraid you spoil them fixtures?" Abe asked. "They wouldn't bring nothing at the receiver's sale, anyhow, " Feinsteinreplied, "even though they are pretty near new. " "They must have cost him a pretty big sum, ain't it?" Abe said. "They didn't cost him a cent, " Feinstein answered, "because he ain'tpaid a cent for 'em. Flaum & Bingler sold 'em to him, and they're one ofthe petitioning creditors. Twenty-one hundred dollars they got stungfor, and they ain't got no chattel mortgage nor nothing. Look at themracks there and all them mirrors and tables! Good enough for a saloon. I bet yer them green baize doors, what he put inside the regular door, is worth pretty near a hundred dollars. " Abe nodded again. "And I bet the whole shooting-match don't fetch five hundred dollars atthe receiver's sale, " Feinstein said. "Why, I'd give that much for it myself, " Abe cried. Feinstein puffed away at his cigar for a minute. "Do you honestly mean you'd like to buy them fixtures?" he said at last. "Sure I'd like to buy them, " Abe replied. "When is the receiver's salegoing to be?" "Next week, right after the order of adjudication is signed. But thatwon't do you no good. The dealers would bid 'em up on you, and youwouldn't stand no show at all. What you want to do is to buy 'em fromthe receiver at private sale. " "So?" Abe commented. "Well, how would I go about that?" Feinstein pulled his hat over his eyes and, resting his cigar on the topof Rifkin's desk with the lighted end next to the wood, he drew Abetoward the rear of the office. "Leave that to me, " he said mysteriously. "Of course, you couldn'texpect to get them fixtures much under six hundred dollars at privatesale, because it's got to be done under the direction of the court; butfor fifty dollars I could undertake to let you in on 'em for, say, fivehundred and seventy-five dollars. How's that?" Abe puffed at his cigar before replying. "I got to see it my partner first, " he said. "That's all right, too, " Feinstein rejoined; "but there was one dealerin here this morning already. As soon as the rest of 'em get on tothis here failure they'll be buzzing around them fixtures like fliesin a meat market, and maybe I won't be able to put it through for youat all. " "I tell you what I'll do, " Abe said. "I'll go right down to the storeand I'll be back here at two o'clock. " "You've got to hustle if you want them fixtures, " he said. "I bet yer I got to hustle, " Abe said, his eyes fixed on the marredsurface of the desk, "for if you're going to smoke many more cigarsaround here them fixtures won't be no more good to nobody. " "That don't harm 'em none, " Feinstein replied. "A cabinetmaker could fixthat up with a piece of putty and some shellac so as you wouldn't knowit from new. " "But if I buy it them fixtures, " Abe concluded, as he turned toward thedoor, "I'd as lief have 'em without putty, if it's all the same to you. " "Sure, " Feinstein replied, and no sooner had Abe disappeared into thehall than he drew a morning paper from his pocket and settled down tohis duties as keeper for the Federal receiver by selecting the mostcomfortable chair in the room and cocking up his feet against the sideof Rifkin's desk. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried as his partner entered the store half an hourlater, "I give you right. " "You give me right?" Abe repeated. "What d'ye mean?" "About them fixtures, " Morris explained. "I give you right. Themfixtures is nothing but junk, and we got to get some new ones. " "Sure we got to get some new ones, Mawruss, " Abe agreed, "and I seen itthe very thing what we want up at H. Rifkin's place. " "H. Rifkin's place, " Morris exclaimed. "That's what I said, " Abe replied. "I got an idee, Mawruss, we shouldbuy them fixtures what H. Rifkin got. " "Is that so?" Morris retorted. "Well, why should we buy it fixtures whatH. Rifkin throws out?" "He don't throw 'em out, Mawruss, " Abe said. "He ain't got no more usefor 'em, Mawruss. He busted up this morning. " "You can't make me feel bad by telling me that, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "A sucker what takes from us a good customer like Henry Feigenbaumshould of busted up long since already. But that ain't the point, Abe. If we're going to get it fixtures, we don't want no second-handarticles. " "They ain't no second-hand articles, Mawruss, " Abe explained. "They'repretty near brand-new, and I got a particular reason why we should buythem fixtures, Mawruss. " He paused for some expression of curiosity from his partner, but Mawrussmerely pursed his lips and looked bored. "Yes, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "I got it a particular reason why we shouldbuy them fixtures, Mawruss. You see, this here Rifkin got it the loftright upstairs one flight from us, Mawruss, and naturally he's got itlots of out-of-town trade what don't know he's busted yet, Mawruss. " "No?" Morris vouchsafed. "So these here out-of-town customers comes up to see Rifkin. They getsin the elevator and they says 'Sixth, ' see? And the elevator man thinksthey says 'Fifth, ' and he lets 'em off at our floor because there ain'tnobody on the sixth floor. Well, Mawruss, we leave our store door open, and the customer sees Rifkin's fixtures inside, so he walks in andthinks he's in Rifkin's place. Before he finds out he ain't, Mawruss, wesell him a bill of goods ourselves. " Morris stared at Abe in silent contempt. "Of course, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "I'm only saying they might do this, y'understand, and certainly it would only be for the first week or sowhat we are there, ain't it? But if we should only get it one or twocustomers that way, Mawruss, them fixtures would pay for themselves. " "Dreams you got it, Abe, " Morris cried. "You think them customers wouldbe blind, Abe? Ain't they got eyes in their head? Since when would theymistake a back number like you for an up-to-date feller like Rifkin, Abe?" "Maybe I am a back number, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "but I know a bargainwhen I see it. Them fixtures is practically this season's goods already. Why, H. Rifkin ain't even paid for them yet. " "There ain't no seasons in fixtures, Abe, " Morris replied, "and besides, a feller like Rifkin could have it fixtures for ten years without payingfor 'em. He could get 'em on the installment plan and give back achattel mortgage, Abe. You couldn't tell me nothing about fixtures, Abe, because I know all about it. " "You don't seem to know much about it this morning when I spoke to you, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "Sure not, " Morris said, "but I learned it a whole lot since. I got tothinking it over after you left. So I rings up a feller by the nameFlachsman, what is corresponding secretary in the District Grand Lodgeof the Independent Order Mattai Aaron, which I belong it. This hereFlachsman got a fixture business over on West Broadway. " Abe nodded. He lit a fresh cigar to sustain himself against impendingbad news. "And this here Flachsman comes around here half an hour ago and showsme pictures from fixtures, Abe; and he got it such elegant fixtures likea bank or a saloon, which he could put it in for us for two thousanddollars. " "Two thousand dollars!" Abe cried. "Well, twenty-two fifty, " Morris amended. "Comes to about the same withcash discount. Flachsman tells me he seen the kind of loft we got andknows it also the measurements; so I think to myself what's the usewaiting. Abe wants it we should buy the fixtures, and we ain't got notime to lose. So I signed the contract. " Abe sat down heavily in the nearest chair and pushed his hat back fromhis forehead. "Yes, Mawruss, " he said bitterly, "that's the way it goes when afeller's got a partner what is changeable like Paris fashions. You areall plain one minute, and the next you are all soutache and buttons. This morning you wouldn't buy no fixtures, not if you could get 'em fornix, and a couple hours later you throw it away two thousand dollars inthe streets. " Morris glared indignantly at his partner. "You are the changeable one, Abe, " he cried, "not me. This morning oldfixtures to you is junk. Ain't it? You got to have new fixtures andthat's all there is to it. But now, Abe, new fixtures is poison to you, and you got to have second-hand fixtures. What's the matter with you, anyway, Abe?" "I told it you a dozen times already, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "them ain'tno exactly second-hand fixtures what Rifkin got it. Them fixtures islike new--fine mahogany partitions and plated glass. " "That's what we bought it, Abe, " Morris said, "fine mahogany partitionswith plated glass. If you wouldn't jump so much over me, I would oftold you about it. " Abe shrugged despairingly. "Go ahead, " he said. "I ain't jumping over you. " "Well, in the first place, Abe, " Morris went on, "there's a couple ofswinging doors inside the hall door. " "Just like Rifkin's, " Abe interrupted. "Better as Rifkin's, " Morris exclaimed. "Them doors is covered withgoods, Abe, and holes in each door with glass into it. " "Sure, I know, " Abe replied. "Rifkin's doors got green cashmere onto 'emlike a pool table. " "Only new, not second-hand, " Morris added. "Then, when you get throughthem doors, on the left side is the office with mahogany partitions andplated glass, with a hole into it like a bank already. " "Sure! The same what I seen it up at Rifkin's, Mawruss, " Abe broke inagain. Morris drew himself up and scowled at Abe. "How many times should I tell it you, Abe, " he cried, "them fixtureswhat Flachsman sells it us is new, and not like Rifkin's. " "Go ahead, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Let's hear it. " "Over the hole is a sign, Cashier, " Morris continued. Abe was about to nod again, but at a warning glance from Morris hethought better of it. "But I told it Flachsman we ain't got no cashier, only a bookkeeper, "Morris said, "and so he says he could put it Bookkeeper over the hole. Inside the office is two desks, one for you and me, and a high one forthe bookkeeper behind the hole. On the right-hand side as you go insidethem pool-table doors is another mahogany partition, and back of that isthe cutting-room already. Then you walk right straight ahead, andbetween them two partitions is like a hall-way, what leads to the frontof the loft, and there is the show-room with showcases, racks and tableslike what I got it a list here. " "And the whole business will cost it us two thousand dollars, Mawruss, "Abe commented. "Two thousand two hundred and fifty, " Morris said. "Well, all I got to say is we would get it the positively same identicalthing by H. Rifkin's place for six hundred dollars, " Abe concluded. He rose to his feet and took off his hat and coat. "What did you say this here feller Flachsman was in the district lodgeof the I. O. M. A. , Mawruss?" he inquired. "Corresponding secretary, " Morris replied. "What for you ask, Abe?" "Oh, nothing, " Abe replied as he turned away. "Only, I was wonderingwhat he would soak us for them fixtures, Mawruss, if he would of beenGrand Master. " Ten days afterward the receiver in bankruptcy sold Rifkin's stock andfixtures at auction, and when Abe and Morris took possession of theirnew business premises on the first of the following month the topic ofH. Rifkin's failure had ceased to be of interest to the cloak and suittrade. Morris alone harped upon it. "Well, Abe, " he said for the twentieth time, gazing proudly around him, "what's the matter with them fixtures what we got it? Huh? Ain't themfixtures got H. Rifkin skinned to death?" Abe shook his head solemnly. "Mind you, Mawruss, " he began, "I ain't saying them fixtures what we gotit ain't good fixtures, y'understand; but they ain't one, two, six withH. Rifkin's fixtures. " "That's what you say, Abe, " Morris retorted, "but Flachsman saysdifferent. I seen him at the lodge last night, and he tells me themfixtures what H. Rifkin got it was second quality, Abe. Flachsman saysthey wouldn't of stood being took down and put up again. He says hewouldn't sell them fixtures as second-hand to an East Broadway concern, without being afraid for a comeback. " "Flachsman don't know what he's talking about, " Abe declared hotly. "Them fixtures was A Number One. I never seen nothing like 'em beforeor since. " "Bluffs you are making it, Abe, " Morris replied. "You seen them fixturesfor ten minutes, maybe, Abe, and in such a short time you couldn't tellnothing at all about 'em. " "Couldn't I, Mawruss?" Abe said. "Well, them fixtures was the kind whatyou wouldn't forget it if you seen 'em for only five minutes. I bet yerI would know them anywhere, Mawruss, if I seen them again, and what wegot it here from Flachsman is a weak imitation, Mawruss. That's all. " At this juncture a customer entered, and for half an hour Morris busiedhimself displaying the line. In the meantime Abe went out to lunch, andwhen he entered the building on his return a familiar, bulky figurepreceded him into the doorway. "Hallo!" Abe cried, and the bulky figure stopped and turned around. "Hallo yourself!" he said. "You don't know me, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe went on. "Why, how d'ye do, Mr. Potash?" Feigenbaum exclaimed. "What brings youway uptown here?" "We m----" Abe commenced--"that is to say, I come up here to see aparty. I bet yer we're going to the same place, Mr. Feigenbaum. " "Maybe, " Mr. Feigenbaum grunted. "Sixth floor, hey?" Abe cried jocularly, slapping Mr. Feigenbaum onthe shoulder. Mr. Feigenbaum's right eye assumed the glassy stare which was permanentin his left. "What business is that from yours, Potash?" he asked. "Excuse me, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe said with less jocularity, "I didn'tmean it no harm. " Together they entered the elevator, and Abe created a diversion byhanding Mr. Feigenbaum a large, black cigar with a wide red-and-goldband on it. While Feigenbaum was murmuring his thanks the elevator manstopped the car at the fifth floor. "Here we are!" Abe cried, and hustled out of the elevator ahead of Mr. Feigenbaum. He opened the outer door of Potash & Perlmutter's loft withsuch rapidity that there was no time for Feigenbaum to decipher the signon its ground-glass panel, and the next moment they stood before thegreen-baize swinging doors. "After you, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe said. He followed his late customer upthe passageway between the mahogany partitions, into the show-room. "Take a chair, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe cried, dragging forward acomfortable, padded seat, into which Feigenbaum sank with a sigh. "I wish we could get it furniture like this up in Bridgetown, "Feigenbaum said. "A one-horse place like Bridgetown you can't getnothing there. Everything you got to come to New York for. We are deadones in Bridgetown. We don't know nothing and we don't learn nothing. " "That's right, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe said. "You got to come to New Yorkto get the latest wrinkles about everything. " With one comprehensive motion he drew forward a chair for himself andwaved a warning to Morris, who ducked behind a rack of cloaks in therear of the show-room. "You make yourself to home here, Potash, I must say, " Feigenbaumobserved. Abe grunted inarticulately and handed a match to Feigenbaum, who lit hiscigar, a fine imported one, and blew out great clouds of smoke withevery evidence of appreciative enjoyment. "Where's Rifkin?" he inquired between puffs. Abe shook his head and smiled. "You got to ask me something easier than that, Mr. Feigenbaum, " hemurmured. "What d'ye mean?" Feigenbaum cried, jumping to his feet. "Ain't you heard it yet?" Abe asked. "I ain't heard nothing, " Feigenbaum exclaimed. "Then sit down and I'll tell you all about it, " Abe said. Feigenbaum sat down again. "You mean to tell me you ain't heard it nothing about Rifkin?"Abe went on. "Do me the favor, Potash, and spit it out, " Feigenbaum broke inimpatiently. "Well, Rifkin run away, " Abe announced. "Run away!" "That's what I said, " Abe went on. "He made it a big failure and skippedto the old country. " "You don't tell me!" Feigenbaum said. "Why, I used to buy it all mygoods from Rifkin. " Abe leaned forward and placed his hand on Feigenbaum's knees. "I know it, " he murmured, "and oncet you used to buy it all your goodsfrom us, Mr. Feigenbaum. I assure you, Mr. Feigenbaum, I don't want tomake no bluffs nor nothing, but believe me, the line of garments what wecarry and the line of garments what H. Rifkin carried, there ain't nocomparison. Merchandise what H. Rifkin got in his place as leadersalready, I wouldn't give 'em junk room. " Mr. Feigenbaum nodded. "Well, the fixtures what you was carrying at one time, Potash, Iwouldn't give 'em junk room neither, " Feigenbaum declared. "You're luckyI didn't sue you in the courts yet for busting my nose against that highrack of yours. I ain't never recovered from that accident what I had inyour place, Potash. I got it catarrh yet, I assure you. " "Accidents could happen with the best regulations, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abecried, "and you see that here we got it a fine new line of fixtures. " "Not so good as what Rifkin carried, " Feigenbaum said. "Rifkin carried fine fixtures, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe admitted, "but notso fine as what we got. We got it everything up to date. You couldn'tbump your nose here, not if you was to get down on your hands and kneesand try. " "I wouldn't do it, " Mr. Feigenbaum said solemnly. "Sure not, " Abe agreed. "But come and look around our loft. We justmoved in here, and everything we got it is new--fixtures and garmentsas well. " "I guess you must excuse me. I ain't got much time to spare, " Mr. Feigenbaum declared. "I got to get along and buy my stuff. " Abe sprang to his feet. "Buy it here!" he cried. He seized Feigenbaum by the arm and propelledhim over to the sample line of skirts, behind which Morris cowered. "Look at them goods, " Abe said. "One or two of them styles wouldbe leaders for H. Rifkin. For us, all them different styles is ourordinary line. " In turn, he displayed the rest of the firm's line and exercised hisfaculties of persuasion, argument and flattery to such good purpose thatin less than an hour Feigenbaum had bought three thousand dollars' worthof garments, deliveries to be made within ten days. "And now, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Abe said, "I want you to look around ourplace. Mawruss is in the office, and he would be delighted, I know, tosee you. " He conducted his rediscovered customer to the office, where Morris wasseated at the roll-top mahogany desk. "Ah, Mr. Feigenbaum, " Morris cried, effusively seizing the newcomer byboth hands, "ain't it a pleasure to see you again! Take a seat. " He thrust Feigenbaum into the revolving chair that he had just vacated, and took the box of gilt-edge customers' cigars out of the safe. "Throw away that butt and take a fresh cigar, " he exclaimed, handingFeigenbaum a satiny Invincible with the broad band of the best Havanamaker on it. Feigenbaum received it with a smile, for he was nowcompletely thawed out. "You got a fine place here, Mawruss, " he said. "Fixtures and everythingA Number One, just like Rifkin's. " "Better as Rifkin's, " Morris declared. "Well, maybe it is better in quality, " Feigenbaum admitted; "but, Imean, in arrangement and color it is just the same. Why, when I come inhere with Abe, an hour ago, I assure you I thought I was in Rifkin's oldplace. In fact, I could almost swear this desk is the same desk whatRifkin had it. " He rose to his feet and passed his hand over the top of the desk withthe touch of a connoisseur. "No, " he said at last. "It ain't the same as Rifkin's. Rifkin's desk wasa fine piece of Costa Rica mahogany without a flaw. I used to be in thefurniture business oncet, you know, Mawruss, and so I can tell. " Abe flashed a triumphant grin on Morris, who frowned in reply. "But ain't this here desk that--now--what-yer-call-it mahogany, too, Mr. Feigenbaum?" Morris asked. "Well, it's Costa Rica mahogany, all right, " Feigenbaum said, "but it'sgot a flaw into it. " "A flaw?" Morris and Abe exclaimed with one voice. [Illustration: LOOK AT THEM GOODS. ] "Sure, " Mr. Feigenbaum continued. "It looks to me like somebody laida cigar on to it and burned a hole there. Then some cabinetmaker fixedit up yet with colored putty and shellac. Nobody would notice nothingexcept an expert like me, though. " Feigenbaum looked at Morris' glum countenance with secret enjoyment, butwhen he turned to Abe he was startled into an exclamation, for Abe'sface was ashen and large beads of perspiration stood out on hisforehead. "What's the matter, Abe?" Feigenbaum cried. "Are you sick?" "My stummick, " Abe murmured. "I'll be all right in a minute!" Feigenbaum took his hat and coat preparatory to leaving. "Well, boys, " he said genially, "you got to excuse me. I must bemoving on. " "Wait just a minute, " Abe said. "I want you to look at something. " He led Feigenbaum out of the office and down the passageway between themahogany partitions. In front of the little cashier's window Abe stoppedand pointed to the shelf and panel beneath. "Mr. Feigenbaum, " he said in shaking tones, "do you see somethingdown there?" Mr. Feigenbaum examined the woodwork closely. "Yes, Abe, " he answered. "I see it that some loafer has been strikingmatches on it, but it's been all fixed up so that you wouldn't noticenothing. " "S'enough, " Abe cried. "I'm much obliged to you. " In silence Abe and Morris ushered Mr. Feigenbaum to the outer door, andas soon as it closed behind him the two partners faced each other. "What difference does it make, Abe?" Morris said. "A little hole and alittle scratch don't amount to nothing. " Abe gulped once or twice before he could enunciate. "It don't amount to nothing, Mawruss, " he croaked. "Oh, no, it don'tamount to nothing, but sixteen hundred and fifty dollars. " "What d'ye mean?" Morris exclaimed. "I mean this, " Abe thundered: "I mean, we paid twenty-two hundred andfifty dollars for what we could of bought for six hundred dollars. Themfixtures what we bought it from Flachsman, he bought it from Rifkin'sbankruptcy sale. I mean that these here fixtures are the positively sameidentical fixtures what I seen it upstairs in H. Rifkin's loft. " It was now Morris' turn to change color, and his face assumed a sicklyhue of green. "How do you know that?" he gasped. "Because I was in Rifkin's old place when that lowlife Feinstein, whatworks for Henry D. Feldman, had charge of it after the failure; and Iseen Feinstein strike them matches and put his seegar on the top fromthe desk. " He led the way back to the office and once more examined the flaw inthe mahogany. "Yes, Mawruss, " he said, "two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars wegot to pay it for this here junk. Twenty-two hundred and fifty dollars, Mawruss, you throw it into the street for damaged, second-hand stuffwhat ain't worth two hundred. " "Why, you say it yourself you wanted to pay six hundred for it, Abe, "Morris protested, "and you said it was first-class, A Number Onefixtures. " "Me, Mawruss!" Abe exclaimed. "I'm surprised to hear you should talkthat way, Mawruss. I knew all the time that them fixtures was bum stuff. I only wanted to buy 'em because I thought that they would bring us someof Rifkin's old customers, Mawruss, and I was right. " "You're always right, Abe, " Morris retorted. "Maybe you was right whenyou said Feinstein made them marks, Abe, and maybe you wasn't. Feinsteinain't the only one what scratches matches and smokes seegars, Abe. Yousmoke, too, Abe. " "All right, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I scratched them matches and burnt thathole, if you think so; but just the same, Mawruss, if I did or if Ididn't, Ike Flachsman done us, anyhow. " "How d'ye know that, Abe?" Morris blurted out. "I don't believe themfixtures is Rifkin's fixtures at all, and I don't believe that Flachsmanbought 'em at Rifkin's sale. What's more, Abe, I'm going to getFeinstein on the 'phone right away and find out who did buy 'em. " He went to the telephone immediately and rang up Henry D. Feldman'soffice. "Hallo, Mr. Feinstein, " he said, after the connection had been made. "This is Mawruss Perlmutter, of Potash & Perlmutter. You know themfixtures what H. Rifkin had it?" "I sure do, " Feinstein replied. "Well, who bought it them fixtures at the receiver's sale?" "I got to look it up, " Feinstein said. "Hold the wire for a minute. " A moment later he returned to the 'phone. "Hallo, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "They sold for three hundred dollarsto a dealer by the name Isaac Flachsman. " CHAPTER XIII "Say, looky here, Abe, " Morris cried one rainy March morning, "we got toget some more insurance. " "What do you mean, insurance?" Abe asked. "We got enough insurance, Mawruss. Them Rifkin fixtures ain't so valuable as all that, Mawruss, and even if we wouldn't already got it for twenty thousand dollarsinsurance, Mawruss, the building is anyhow fireproof. In a fireproofbuilding you don't got to have so much insurance. " "Is that so?" Morris replied. "Well, Pinkel Brothers' building wherethey got it a loft is fireproof, and they got it also oitermaticsprinklers, Abe, and they somehow get burned out anyhow. " "You couldn't prove to me nothing by Pinkel Brothers, Mawruss, " Aberejoined. "Them people has already got a hundred operators and we ain'tgot one, Mawruss, and every operator smokes yet a cigarettel, and youknow what them cigarettels is, Mawruss. They practically smokesthemselves. So, if an operator throws one of them cigarettels in a binfrom clippings, Mawruss, that cigarettel would burn up them clippingscertain sure. For my part, I wouldn't have a cigarettel in the place;and so, Mawruss, we wouldn't have no fire, neither. " "I know, Abe, " Morris protested; "but the loft upstairs is vacant andthe loft downstairs is vacant, and everybody ain't so grouchy aboutcigarettels like you are, Abe. Might one of them lofts would be taken bya feller what is already a cigarettel fiend, Abe. And fires can start byother causes, too; and then where would we be with our twenty thousandinsurance and all them piece goods what we got it?" "But the building is fireproof, Mawruss. " "Sure I know, " Morris replied; "fireproof buildings is like themgilt-edge, A Number One concerns what you sell goods to for ten years, maybe, and then all of a sudden when you don't expect it one of 'embusts up on you. And that's the way it is with fireproof buildings, Abe. They're fireproof so long as nobody has a fire in 'em. " Abe shrugged his shoulders and lit a fresh cigar. "All right, Mawruss, " Abe said; "I'm satisfied. If you want to get somemore insurance, go ahead. I got worry enough I should bother my headabout trifles. A little money for insurance we can afford to spend it, Mawruss, so long as we practically throw it in the streets otherwise. " "Otherwise?" Morris repeated. "What do you mean we throw it awayotherwise, Abe?" "I mean that new style thirty-twenty-eight what you showed it me thismorning, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "For a popular-price line, Mawruss, themnew capes has got enough buttons and soutache on to 'em to sell fortwenty dollars already instead of twelve-fifty. " "That's where you talk without knowing nothing what you say, Abe, "Morris replied. "That garment what you seen it is the winder sample whatI made it up for Louis Feinholz's uptown store. Louis give me a bigorder while you was in Boston last week, a special line of capes what Igot up for him to retail at eighteen-fifty. But he also wanted me tomake up for him a winder sample, just one garment to hang in the winderwhat would look like them special capes, Abe, y'understand, somethinglike a diamond looks like a rhinestone. Then, when a lady sees that capein the winder, she wants to buy one just like it, so she goes intoLouis' store and they show her one just like it, only three inchesshorter, a yard less goods into it, about half the soutache on to it anda dozen buttons short, Abe; because that winder garment what we make forLouis costs us ourselves twenty-five dollars, and Louis retails thegarment what he sells that lady for eighteen-fifty. And that's the wayit goes. " "That's a fine crook, that Louis Feinholz, " Abe cried virtuously. "Iwonder that you would sell people like that goods at all, Mawruss. Thatfeller ain't no good, Mawruss. I seen him go back three times on fourhundred hands up at Max Geigerman's house last week, a dollar a hundreddouble-double. He's a gambler, too. " "Well, Abe, " Morris answered, "a feller what runs a chance on auctionpinochle ain't near the gambler like a feller what is willing to run achance on his business burning out and don't carry no insurance, Abe. " "Who is willing to run a chance, Mawruss?" Abe cried. "Just to show youI ain't willing to run a chance I will go right down to J. Blaustein andtake out a ten-thousand-dollar policy, Mawruss. " Morris colored slightly. "Why should we give it Blaustein all our business, Abe?" he said. "Thatfeller must got it a thousand customers to Rudy Feinholz's one. " "Whose one?" Abe asked. "Rudy Feinholz's, " said Morris. "I thought I told it you that LouisFeinholz's nephew got an insurance business on Lenox Avenue, and Ipromised Louis I would give the young feller a show. " "You promised you would give him a show, Mawruss?" Abe repeated. "Youpromised Louis you would give that kid nephew of his what used to runLouis' books a show?" "That's what I said, Abe, " Morris answered. "Well, all I can say, Mawruss, " Abe declared as he put on his hat, "isthat I wouldn't insure it a pinch of snuff by that feller, Mawruss. Soif you take out any policies from him you can pay for 'em yourself, Mawruss, because I won't. " He favored Morris with a final glare and banged the door behind him. Two hours later when Abe reëntered the show-room his face was flushedwith triumph and he smoked one of J. Blaustein's imported cigars. "You see, Mawruss, " he said, flourishing a folded policy, "when you dealwith fellers like Blaustein it goes quick. I got it here aten-thousand-dollar insurance by a first-class, A Number One company. " Morris seized the policy and spread it out on the table. For ten minuteshe examined it closely and then handed it back in silence. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe inquired anxiously, "ain't that policy all right?" Morris shook his head. "In the first place, Abe, " he said, "why should we insure it a loft onNineteenth Street, New York, in the Manchester, Sheffield andLincolnshire Insurance Company, of Manchester, England? Are we Englishor are we American, Abe?" This was a poser, and Abe remained silent. "And then again, Abe, " Morris went on, "supposing we should--maybe, I amonly saying--have a fire, Abe, then we must got to go all the way toManchester, England, already to collect our money. Ain't it?" Abe stared at his feet and made no reply, while Morris again examinedthe folded policy. "Just listen here to these here names of the people what run thecompany, Abe, " he said. "Chairman, the rutt honn Earl of Warrington. " Abe looked up suddenly. "What kind of Chinese talk is that, Mawruss?" he said. "Rutt honn?" "That's no Chinese talk, Abe, " Morris replied. "That's printed righthere on the policy. That rutt honn Earl of Warrington is president ofthe board of directors, Abe; and supposing we should maybe for examplehave a fire, Abe, what show would we stand it with this here rutt honnEarl of Warrington?" Abe grabbed the policy, which bore on its reverse side the list ofdirectors headed by the name of that distinguished statesman and Cabinetminister, the Rt. Hon. Earl of Warrington. "J. Blaustein would fix it for us, " Abe replied. "J. Blaustein, " Morris jeered. "I suppose, Abe, him and the rutt honnEarl of Warrington drinks coffee together every afternoon when J. Blaustein makes a trip to Manchester, England. Ain't it? No, Abe, youare up against a poor proposition, and I hope you ain't paid for thatpolicy, Abe. " "J. Blaustein ain't in no hurry, " Abe said. "We never pay him inside ofsixty days, anyway. " "Well, we ain't going to pay him for that policy inside of sixty days orsix hundred and sixty days, neither, Abe. We're going to fire thatpolicy back on him, Abe, because I got it here a policy for ten thousanddollars which Rudy Feinholz just brought it me, Abe, and we are insuredin a good American company, Abe, the Farmers and Ranchers' InsuranceCompany, of Arizona. " Abe shrugged his shoulders. "Why should we insure it a stock of cloaks and suits by farmers andranchers, Mawruss?" he asked. "Ain't it better we should insure our goods by farmers and ranchers asby somebody what we don't know what he does for a living, like the rutthonn Earl of Warrington?" Morris retorted. "But when it comes right down to it, Mawruss, " Abe said, "how are webetter off, supposing we got to go all the way to Arizona to collectour money?" "That's what I told it young Feinholz, " Morris replied, "and he sayssupposing we should, so to speak, have a fire, he guarantees it we wouldcollect our money every cent of it right here in New York. And anyhow, Abe, any objections what you got to this here Farmers and Ranchers'policy wouldn't be no use anyhow. " "No?" Abe said. "Why not?" "Because I just sent it Rudy Feinholz a check for the premium, " Morrissaid, and walked out of the show-room before Abe could enunciate all theprofanity that rose to his lips. Louis Feinholz's order was shipped the following week, and with it wentthe cape for his show window. Abe himself superintended the packing, forbusiness was dull in the firm's show-room. A particularly warm March hadgiven way to a frigid, rainy April, and now that the promise of an earlyspring had failed of fulfillment cancelations were coming in thick andfast. Hence, Abe took rather a pessimistic view of things. "I bet yer Feinholz will have yet some kicks about them goods, Mawruss, "he said. "When I come down Feinholz's street this morning, Mawruss, itlooked like Johnstown after the flood. I bet yer Feinholz ain't makingenough in that store just now to pay electric-light bills. " "I don't know about that, Abe, " said Morris. "Louis carries a mightyattractive line in his winders. Them small Fifth Avenue stores ain't gotnothing on him when it comes to the line of sample garments he carriesin his show winders, Abe. " "Sure I know, " Abe rejoined; "but he ain't got nothing on one of thempiker stores when it comes right down to the stock he carries on theinside, Mawruss. Yes, Mawruss, when I sell goods to a feller likeFeinholz, Mawruss, I'm afraid for my life until I get my money. " "Well, you needn't be afraid for Feinholz, Abe, " said Morris, "because, in the first place, the feller has got a fine rating; and then again, hecouldn't fire them goods back on us because, for the price, there ain'ta better-made line in the country. " "I hope you're right, Mawruss, " Abe replied as he rang the bell for thefreight elevator. "It would be a fine comeback if he should return themgoods on us after we give his nephew the insurance we did. " Again he pressed the elevator bell. "What's the matter with that elevator, Mawruss?" he said. "It takes ayear to get a package on to the sidewalk. " "That's on account of somebody moves in downstairs, Abe, " Morrisanswered. "Kaskel Schwartz, what used to be foreman for Pinkel Brothers, him and Moe Feigel goes as partners together in skirts. " "Is that so?" Abe said, jamming his thumb on the elevator bell. "I hopehe don't got the cigarettel habit. " At length the elevator arrived, and Jake, the shipping clerk, carriedout the brown paper parcels comprising Feinholz's shipment. "If that's the last I seen of them garments, " Abe said as he returned tothe show-room, "I'm a lucky man. " "Always you're beefing about something happening what ain't going tohappen, Abe, " Morris retorted. "Just a few minutes since you hopedKaskel Schwartz ain't going to be careless about cigarettels, and nowyou're imagining things about Feinholz sending back the goods. " "Never mind, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "in two days' time I shall breatheeasier yet. " For the rest of the day it rained in a steady, tropical downpour, andwhen Abe came downtown the next morning the weather had moderated onlyslightly. "Yes, Mawruss, " he said as he entered, "that's a fine weather for acloak business, Mawruss; and I bet yer, Mawruss, if we was makingcravenettes and umbrellas yet we would be having a long dry spell. " He heaved a great sigh and approached the bookkeeper's desk, whereMorris had laid the morning mail. "Did you hear from those suckers out in Kansas City what made the kickabout them London Smokes, Mawruss?" he asked. "Sure I did, " Morris replied; "they says they decided to keep thegoods. " "I guess it left off raining in Kansas City, " Abe commented. "Themsuckers only made that kick because they thought they couldn't sellnothing in wet weather. Any other kicks, Mawruss?" "Yes, " Morris replied shortly. Abe looked up. "Louis Feinholz!" he gasped. Morris nodded and handed Abe a letter. It read as follows: THE LONGCHAMPS L. FEINHOLZ, PROPRIETOR "EVERYTHING FOR MADAME. .. . " NEW YORK, April 1st, 1908 GENTS: Your shipment of this date arrived and we must say we are surprised at the goods which you sent us. They are in no respect up to sample which we keep pending a settlement of any differences which we might have in respects to this matter. Yours truly, L. FEINHOLZ. Dic LF to RC "What does that sucker mean, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "We ain't sent him nosample of them capes, Mawruss. We made 'em up according to hisinstructions, Mawruss. Ain't it?" Morris nodded solemnly and again Abe read the letter. This time he dashed the note to the floor and grew purple with rage. "Why, " he choked, "that sucker must mean it the winder sample. " Again Morris nodded solemnly. "But a ten-year-old child could tell that them garments ain't like thatwinder sample, Mawruss, " Abe went on. "Sure I know, " Morris replied sadly, "and a district court judge couldtell it, too. Also, a jury by the city court could tell it, Abe; andalso, I rung up Henry D. Feldman and asked him if he could take a casefor us against Louis Feinholz, and Feldman says that Feinholz is such anold client that he couldn't do it. And that's the way it goes. " "But them capes was never intended to be the same like that sample, Mawruss, " Abe cried. "That's what I told Louis Feinholz when I rung him up after I spoke toFeldman, and Feinholz says he got the goods and he got the sample, andthat's all he knows about it. Then I asked him if he didn't say itdistinctly we should make up a first-class, expensive winder sample andship it along with the order, and he says he don't remember it and thatI should show him a writing. " "Ain't you got it a writing?" Abe asked. "I ain't got no writing about the winder sample, Abe, " Morris replied. "I only got it a writing about the order. " "But ain't you got no witnesses, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Witnesses I got it plenty, Abe, " Morris answered. "And so has Feinholzgot it witnesses. What's the use witnesses when all Feinholz has got todo is to get Henry D. Feldman to make theayter acting over that sample?For you know as well as I do, Abe, anyone would see that them garmentsis _doch_, anyway, a cheap imitation of that winder sample, Abe. " At this juncture Jake, the shipping clerk, entered. "Mr. Potash, " he said, "here comes Margulies' Harlem Express with thempackages what we shipped it the Longchamps Store yesterday. Should Itake 'em in?" Abe jumped to his feet. "Did Margulies bring 'em up?" he asked. "He had 'em just now on the elevator, " Jake replied. "Wait, I go with you, " Abe said. Together they walked rapidly toward thefreight elevator, which opened into the cutting-room, but before theyreached the door a shrill outcry rose from the floor below. The East Side slogan of woe, "Oi gewalt, " blended with women's shrieks, and at length came the cry: "Fie-urr! Fie-urr!" Simultaneously Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, lifted up her voice instrident despair while a great cloud of black smoke puffed from theelevator shaft, and the next moment Abe, Morris, Jake and the half-dozencutters were pushing their way downstairs, elbowed by a frenzied mob ofoperators, male and female. When they arrived at the ground floor theengines were clanging around the corner, and Abe and Morris ran acrossthe street to the opposite sidewalk. Suddenly an inarticulate cryescaped Abe and he sank onto a convenient dry-goods box. "What's the trouble, Abe?" Morris asked. "Are you sick?" "The policies!" Abe croaked, and closed his eyes. When he opened them aminute later his partner grinned at him reassuringly. "I got 'em in my breast pocket, Abe, " Morris said. "As soon as I seenthe smoke I grabbed 'em, and I locked up the safe with the booksinside. " Abe revived immediately. "That reminds me, Mawruss, " he said as he took a cigar from hiswaistcoat pocket: "What become of Miss Cohen?" Twenty minutes later the fire was extinguished, and Abe and Morrisreturned to their loft. The first person to greet them was Miss Cohen, and, aside from a slight careening of her pompadour, she seemed nonethe worse for her dangerous experience. "Mr. Potash, " she said in businesslike tones, "the Longchamps Storejust rung up and says about them garments what they returned that itwas all a mistake, and that they was all right and you should reship'em right away. " The show-room was flooded with sunlight and a mild spring breeze hadalmost dissipated the acrid smell of smoke. "What did I tell you, Mawruss?" Abe said. "Feinholz is like them suckersin Kansas City. He was scared he couldn't sell them capes in wetweather, and now it's cleared up fine he wants 'em bad, Mawruss. I'll goand see what happened to 'em. " He hustled off toward the rear of the loft while Morris turned to MissCohen. "Well, Miss Cohen, " he said, "how did you make out by the fire justnow?" Miss Cohen blushed and patted her pompadour. "Oh, Mr. Perlmutter, " she said, "I was scared stiff, and Mr. Margulies, the expressman, pretty near carried me up to the roof and we stays theretill the fireman says we should come down. " "And where's Margulies?" Morris asked. "He's gone back to the cutting-room, " Miss Cohen replied. "When he seenthe smoke coming up he shuts quick the iron door on the freight elevatorand everything's all right in the cutting-room, only a little water bythe elevator shaft. " "And how about the packages from Feinholz?" Morris continued. But beforeMiss Cohen could reply Abe burst into the show-room with a broad grin onhis face. "That's a good joke on Feinholz, Mawruss, " he said. "All the fire was inthe elevator shaft and them garments what he returned it us is nothingbut ashes. " "But, Abe, " Morris began, when the telephone bell trilled impatiently. Abe took up the receiver. "Hallo!" he said. "Yes, this is Potash. Oh, hallo, Feinholz!" "Say, Potash, " Feinholz said at the other end of the wire, "we got thestore full of people here. Couldn't you send up them capes right away?" Abe put his hand over the mouthpiece of the 'phone. "It's Feinholz, " he said to Morris. "He wants them capes right away. What shall I tell him?" "Tell him nothing, " Morris cried. "The first thing you know you will saysomething to that feller, and he sues us yet for damages because wedidn't deliver the goods. " Abe hesitated for a minute. "You talk to him, " he said at length. Morris seized the receiver from his partner. "Hallo, Feinholz, " he yelled. "We don't want nothing to say to you atall. We are through with you. That's all. Good-by. " He hung up the receiver and turned to Abe. "When I deal with a crook like Feinholz, " he said, "I'm afraid formy life. " Ten minutes later he went out to lunch and when he returned hebrandished the early edition of an evening paper. "What you think it says here, Abe?" he cried. "It says the firedownstairs was caused by an operator throwing a cigarettel in theclipping bin. Ain't that a quincidence, Abe?" "I bet yer that's a quincidence, " Abe replied. "A couple more of themquincidences, Mawruss, and we got to pay double for our insurance. Ionly wish we would be finished collecting on our policies for this herequincidence, Mawruss. " Morris shrugged his shoulders and was about to make a reassuring answerwhen the door opened and two men entered. One of them was Samuel Feder, vice-president of the Kosciusko Bank, andthe other was Louis Feinholz, proprietor of the Longchamps Store. "Well, Abe, " Feder cried, "what's this I hear about the fire?" "Come into the office, Mr. Feder, " Abe cried, while Morris greetedFeinholz. "Morris will be through soon. " "Say, Mawruss, " Feinholz said. "What's the matter with you boys? Here Igot to come downtown about them capes, and my whole store's full ofpeople. Why didn't you ship them capes back to me like I told you?" "Look a-here, Feinholz, " Morris exclaimed in tones sufficiently loud forFeder to overhear, "what d'ye take us for, anyhow? Greenhorns? Do youthink you can write us a dirty letter like that and then come down andget them capes just for the asking?" "Ain't you getting touchy all of a sudden, Mawruss?" Feinholz criedexcitedly. "You had no business to deliver them goods in such rottenweather. You know as well as I do that I couldn't use them goods tillfine weather sets in, and now I want 'em, and I want 'em bad. " "Is that so?" Morris replied. "Why, I thought them garments was no good, Feinholz. I thought them capes wasn't up to sample. " "What are you talking about?" Feinholz shouted. "Them goods was allright and the sample's all right, too. All I want now is you shouldship 'em right away. I can sell the lot this afternoon if you only get'em up to my store in time. " Morris waved his hand deprecatingly. "S'enough, Feinholz, " he said; "you got as much show of getting themgoods as though you never ordered 'em. " "Why not?" Feinholz cried. "Because them goods got burned up on our freight elevator this morning, "Morris replied. "What!" Feinholz gasped. "That's what I said, " Morris concluded; "and if you excuse me I got somebusiness to attend to. " Feinholz turned and almost staggered from the store, while Morris joinedhis partner and Sam Feder in the firm's office. Feder had overheard theentire conversation and greeted Morris with a smile. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "it serves that sucker right. A feller whatconfesses right up and down that the goods was all right and then hefires them back at you just because the weather was rotten ought to besued yet. " "What do we care?" Abe replied. "We got 'em insured, and so long as weget our money out of 'em we would rather not be bothered with him. " "Did you have any other damages, boys?" Feder asked, with a solicitudeengendered of a ten-thousand-dollar accommodation to Potash &Perlmutter's debit on the books of the Kosciusko Bank. "Otherwise, everything is O. K. , " Morris replied cheerfully. Togetherthey conducted Feder on a tour of their premises and, after he wasquite reassured, they presented him with a good cigar and ushered himinto the elevator. "I guess you put your foot in it with Feinholz, Mawruss, " Abe said afterFeder had departed. "How can we go to that kid nephew of his now and askhim to adjust the loss, Mawruss?" Morris arched his eyebrows and stared at his partner. "What's the matter with you, anyway, Abe?" he asked. "Ain't J. Blausteingood enough for you? Ain't J. Blaustein always done it our insurancebusiness up to now all O. K. , Abe? And now that we got it our very firstfire, why should you want to throw Blaustein down?" Abe put on his hat thoroughly abashed. "I thought we got to get Rudy Feinholz to adjust it the loss, " he said. "Otherwise, I wouldn't of suggested it. But, anyway, I will go rightdown to Blaustein and see what he says. " Morris jumped to his feet. "Wait, " he said; "I'll go with you. " Half an hour afterward Abe and Morris were seated in J. Blaustein'soffice on Pine Street, recounting the details of the fire. "How many garments was there?" Blaustein asked. "Forty-eight, and we figured it up the loss at twelve-fifty apiece, "Morris explained. "That's what we billed 'em to Feinholz for. " Blaustein frowned. "But look a-here, Perlmutter, " he said: "them insurance companies won'tpay you what you were going to sell them garments for. They'll only payyou what they cost to make up. They'll figure it: so much cloth--say, fifty dollars; so much trimmings--say, forty dollars; so muchlabor--say, thirty dollars; and that's the way it goes. " "But how could we prove that to the company, Mr. Blaustein?" Abeprotested. "There ain't enough left of them garments to show even whatcolor they was. " Blaustein rose to his feet. "Well, gentlemen, " he said, "we'll discuss that later. The first thingwe must do is to go up and see young Feinholz. That Farmers andRanchers' Insurance Company is a pretty close corporation. LouisFeinholz's brother out in Arizona is the president, and they got such aboard of directors that if they printed the names on the back of thepolicy it would look like the roster of an East Side free-burialsociety. Also, this here Rudy Feinholz what acted as your broker is alsogeneral agent, adjuster and office manager for the MetropolitanDistrict; and, taking it by and large, youse gentlemen is lucky you cometo me instead of him to adjust this loss. " Rudy Feinholz's insurance business occupied what had once been the frontparlor of a high-stoop brown-stone residence. Similarly the basementdining-room had been converted into a delicatessen store, and the smokedmeats, pickles, cheese and spices with which it was stocked providedrather a strange atmosphere for the Metropolitan Agency of the Farmersand Ranchers' Insurance Company. Moreover, the Italian barber who rentedthe quondam back parlor was given to practicing on the mandolin; andwhen Abe, Morris and J. Blaustein entered the Metropolitan Agency a veryimperfect rendition of Santa Lucia came through the partition and madeconversation difficult for the Metropolitan agent. "What d'ye say if we all go round to the Longchamps, " he said, "and talkthings over. " "I'm agreeable, " Morris said, looking at his partner. "Sure thing, " Blaustein replied. "That delicatessen store smell is sothick around here that I'm getting ptomaine poisoning. " "But, " Abe protested, "maybe Louis Feinholz don't want us round there. We ain't on the best of terms with Louis. " "That's all right, " Rudy Feinholz said. "I arranged with him to bringyou round there. Uncle Louis is a heavy stockholder in the Farmers andRanchers', and----" "S'enough!" Morris cried. "I hear enough about the family history ofthis here Farmers and Ranchers. It wouldn't make no difference to me ifyour mother was the vice-president and your sister the secretary. All Iwant is we should settle this thing up. " "Well, come along, then, " Rudy cried, and the two brokers and theirclients repaired to Feinholz's store. Abe and Morris entered not withouttrepidation, but Louis received them with unaffected amiability. "Well, Mawruss, " he said, "that's too bad you got a fire in your place. " "We can stand it, " Morris replied. "We was insured. " Feinholz rejoined: "Yes, you was insured by your loft, but you wasn'tinsured by your freight elevator. " "But by the rules of the Fire Insurance Exchange, " Blausteininterrupted, "when a policy reads----" "What do we care about the Fire Insurance Exchange?" Feinholz broke in. "The Farmers and Ranchers' ain't members of the Fire Insurance Exchange. We got a license to do business from the Superintendent of Insurance, and we don't give a cent for the Fire Insurance Exchange. We insured itthe loft, and the goods was burnt in the freight elevator. " Abe jumped to his feet. "Do you mean, " he cried, "that you ain't going to pay us nothing forour fire?" "That's what I mean, " Feinholz declared. Morris turned to Abe. "Come, Abe, " he said, "we'll take Feder's advice. " "Feder's advice?" Feinholz repeated. "You mean that feller what I seenit in your store this morning?" "That's what I mean, " Morris replied. "Feder says to us we should takeit his lawyers, McMaster, Peddle & Crane, and he would see to it thatthey wouldn't charge us much. " Feinholz smiled. "But the Farmers and Ranchers' Insurance Company got also a goodlawyer, " he said triumphantly. "Maybe they have, " Morris admitted, "but we ain't got nothing to do withthe Farmers and Ranchers' Insurance Company now. We take it Feder'slawyers and sue you, Feinholz. Feder hears it all what you got to say, and he is willing to go on the stand and swear that you says that thegoods was all right and the sample was all right. I guess when a bankerand a gentleman like Feder swears something you could get all the HenryD. Feldmans in the world and it wouldn't make no difference. " Feinholz passed his hand over his forehead and breathed hard. "Maybe we could settle the matter, Rudy, " he said to his nephew, "if theother companies what they are insured by would contribute their share. " "The other companies, " Morris announced, "is got nothing to do with it. You fired them goods back at us, and that's the reason why they gotdamaged. So, we wouldn't ask for a cent from the other companies. " "Then it is positively all off, " cried Feinholz as one of his saleswomenentered. She held a familiar garment in her hand, and in the dim lightof Feinholz's private office the buttons and soutache with which thecape was adorned sparkled like burnished gold. "Mr. Feinholz, " she said, "a lady saw this on one of the racks and shewants to know how much it costs. " Morris eyed the cape for one hesitating moment, and then he sprang tohis feet and snatched it from the astonished saleswoman. "You tell the customer, " he said, "that this here cape ain't for sale. " He rolled it into a tight bundle and thrust it under his coat. "Now, Feinholz, " he declared calmly, "I got you just where I want you. Feder is willing to go on the stand and swear that you said them goodswas up to sample, and this here is the sample. Any feller what knowsanything about the cloak and suit trade could tell in a minute thatthese here samples costed twenty-five dollars to make up. Forty-eighttimes twenty-five is twelve hundred dollars, and so sure as you aresitting there, Feinholz, Abe and me will commence suit against you fortwelve hundred dollars the first thing to-morrow morning, unless we getit a certified check from the Farmers and Ranchers' Insurance Companyfor six hundred dollars, which is the price what you agreed to pay usfor the garments. " A moment later Blaustein and Abe followed him to the sidewalk. "Well, Blaustein, " Morris asked as they walked to the elevated railroad, on their way home, "what do you think of it all? Huh?" "I think it's a good bluff you are making, " Blaustein replied, "but itmay work. So, if you come right down to my office I'll fix up your proofof loss and send it up to him this afternoon. " The next morning Abe and Morris reached their loft a good hour ahead ofthe letter-carrier, and when he entered they both made a grab for themail which he handed them. Morris won out, and as he shuffled theletters with the deftness of long pinochle experience he emitted a cry. "What is it?" Abe asked. For answer Morris tore open a long yellow envelope and flicked it up anddown between his thumb and finger until a small piece of paper flutteredto the carpet. Abe swooped down on it immediately and ran to the office, hugging it to his breast. It was a certified check for six hundreddollars. "Well, Abe, " Morris said as he filled out a deposit slip of theKosciusko Bank, "there's one feller comes out of this deal pretty lucky, all considering. " "Who's that, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "The rutt honn Earl of Warrington, " Morris replied. CHAPTER XIV Abe Potash entered the firm's private office one morning inmid-September and deliberately removed his hat and coat. As he did so heemitted groans calculated to melt the heart of the most hardened medicalpractitioner, but Morris Perlmutter remained entirely unmoved. "Well, Abe, " he said, "you've been making a hog of yourself again. Ain'tit? Sol Klinger says he seen you over to the Harlem Winter Garden, and Isuppose you bought it such a fine supper you couldn't sleep a wink allnight. What?" Abe started to draw himself up to his full five feet three, but lumbagobrooks no hauteur, and he subsided into the nearest chair with a low, expressive "Oo-ee!" "That's a heart you got it, Mawruss, " he declared bitterly, "like astone. I drunk it nothing but lithia water and some dry toast, whichthem suckers got the nerve to charge me fifty cents for. " "Well, why don't you seen it a doctor, Abe?" Morris said. "You couldmonkey with yourself a whole lifetime, Abe, and it would never do you nogood; whilst if you seen it a doctor, Abe, he gives you a little pinchof powder, y'understand, and in five minutes you are a well man. " Abe sighed heavily. "It don't go so quick, Mawruss, " he replied. "I seen a doctor thismorning and he says I am full from rheumatism. I dassen't do nothing, Mawruss, I dassen't touch coffee or schnapps. I dassen't eat no meat butlamb chops and chicken. " "I tasted worser things already as lamb chops and chicken, Abe, " Morrisretorted. "And the worstest thing of all, Mawruss, " Abe concluded, "the doctorsays he wouldn't be responsible for my life already if I go out onthe road. " "What?" Morris exclaimed. In less than two weeks Abe was due to leaveon his Western trip, and for the past few days Morris had been in thethroes of preparing the sample line. "This is a fine time for you to get sick, Abe, " he cried. "Could I help it, Mawruss?" Abe protested. "You talk like I got therheumatism to spite you, Mawruss. Believe me, Mawruss, I ain't so stuckon staying in the store here with you, Mawruss. I could prefer it amillion times to be out on the road. " He rose to his feet with another hollow groan. "But, anyway, Mawruss, it won't help matters none if we sit around hereall the morning. We got to get it somebody to sell our line, becauseeven if, to hear you talk, the goods do sell themselves when _I_ go outwith them, Mawruss, we couldn't take no chances on some kid salesman. Wegot to get it a first-class A Number One feller what wouldn't fool awayhis time. " "Well, why don't you put it an ad in the Daily Cloak and Suit Record, Abe?" Morris asked. "I put it in last night already, " Abe replied, "and I bet yer we get ita million answers by the first mail this afternoon. " For the remainder of the morning Morris busied himself with the sampleline, while Abe moved slowly about the show-room, well within thehearing of his partner, and moaned piteously at frequent intervals. Every half-hour he cleared his throat with a rasping noise and, when hehad secured Morris' attention, ostentatiously swallowed a large gelatinecapsule and rolled his eyes upward in what he conceived to be anexpression of acute agony. At length Morris could stand it no longer. "What are we running here, anyway, Abe?" he asked. "A cloak and suitbusiness or a hospital? If you are such a sick man, Abe, why don't yougo home?" "Must I got to get your permission to be sick, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Couldn't I take it maybe a bit of medicine oncet in a while if I wantto, Mawruss?" He snorted indignantly, but further discussion was prevented by theentrance of the letter-carrier, and immediately Abe and Morris forgottheir differences in an examination of the numerous letters that werethe fruit of the advertisement. "Don't let's waste no time over fellers we don't know nothing about, Abe, " Morris suggested as he tossed one envelope into the waste-paperbasket. "Here's a feller called Rutherford B. H. Horowitz, what says heused to be a suit-buyer in Indianapolis. Ever hear of him, Abe?" "We don't want no fellers what used to be buyers, Mawruss, " Aberetorted. "What we want is fellers what is cloak and suit salesmen. Ain't it?" "Well, here's a feller by the name Arthur Katzen, Abe, " Morris went on. "Did y'ever hear of him, Abe?" "Sure I know him, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "You know him, too, Mawruss. That's a feller by the name Osher Katzenelenbogen, what used to work forus as buttonhole-maker when we was new beginners already. Two years ago, I met that feller in the Yates House and I says to him: 'Hallo, ' I says, 'ain't you Osher Katzenelenbogen?' And he says: 'Excuse me, ' he says, 'you got the advantage from me, ' he says. 'My name is Arthur Katzen, ' hesays; and I assure you, Mawruss, the business that feller was doing, Mawruss, was the sole topic what everybody was talking about. " Morris waved his hand deprecatingly. "I seen lots of them topics in my time already, Abe, " he commented. "Topics what went up with red fire already and come down like sticks. That's the way it goes in this business, Abe. A feller gets a littlestreak of luck, and everybody goes to work and pats him on the back andtells him he's a great salesman. " "But mind you, Mawruss, Arthur Katzen was a good salesman then and is agood salesman to-day yet. The only trouble with him is that he's agambler, Mawruss. That feller would sooner play auction pinochle thaneat, and that's the reason why he could never hold it a job. " "Why shouldn't he hold a job, Abe?" Morris asked. "If I would have acrackerjack drummer, for my part he could play the whole book of Hoyle, from _klabbias_ to _stuss_, and it wouldn't affect me none so long as hesold the goods. " "Maybe you're right, Mawruss, " Abe admitted. "But when a feller foolsaway his time at auction pinochle his business is bound to suffer. " "Well, then, here's a feller answers by the name Mozart Rabiner, " Morriscontinued. "Did y'ever hear of him, Abe?" "If you mean Moe Rabiner, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I never knew his namewas Mozart before, Mawruss, but there was a feller by the name MoeRabiner what used to work for Sammet Brothers, Mawruss, and that fellercould make the pianner fairly talk, Mawruss. If he could only get a ladybuyer up against a pianner, Mawruss, he could sell her every time. " Morris tore up Mozart's application. "So long as a feller fools away his time, Abe, " he said, "it don't makeno difference either he plays auction pinochle or either he plays thepianner. Ain't it?" He opened another envelope and scanned the enclosed missive. "This sounds good to me, Abe, " he said, and handed the letter to hispartner. It read as follows: 4042 PROSPECT AVE. , September 18/08. MESSRS POTASH & PERLMUTTER, _Gents_:--Seeing your ad in to days Record and in reply would beg to state am a first class, womans outer garment salesman selling only to the high class trade. Was for three years with one of the largest concerns in the trade traveling to the coast and making Tooson, Denver, Shyenne and Butte, selling the best houses in Frisco, Portland, Seattle, Los Angles, Fresno &c &c &c. _Am all for business and can give A 1 references. _ At present am unnattached but expect quick action as am neggotiating with one of the largest speciality houses in the trade. _Ask no favors of nobody but results will show. _ Yours truly MARKS PASINSKY. "By jimminy!" Abe cried after he had finished reading the letter. "That's the feller we want to hire it, Mawruss. Let's write himto call. " It would hardly be violating Marks Pasinsky's confidence to disclosethat he held himself to be a forceful man. He never spoke save initalics, and when he shook hands with anyone the recipient of the honorfelt it for the rest of the day. Abe watched Morris undergo the ordealand plunged his hands in his trousers' pockets. "And this is Mr. Potash, " Pasinsky cried, releasing his grip on Morrisand extending his hand toward Abe. "How d'ye do?" Abe said without removing his hands. "I think I seen youoncet before already in Mandleberger Brothers & Co. , in Chicago. " "I presume you did, " Marks Pasinsky replied. "Ed Mandleberger and memarried cousins. That is to say, my wife's mother's sister is asister-in-law to a brother of Ed Mandleberger's wife's mother. " "Huh, huh, " Abe murmured. "Do you know Simon Kuhner, buyer for theircloak department?" Marks Pasinsky sat down and fixed Abe with an incredulous smile. "A question!" he exclaimed. "Do I know him? Every afternoon, when I amin Chicago, Simon and me drinks coffee together. " Abe and Morris looked at each other with glances of mixed wonderand delight. "I'll tell you another feller I'm intimate with, too, " he said. "Doyou know Charles I. Fichter, cloak buyer for Gardner, Baum & Miller, in Seattle?" Abe nodded. He had been vainly trying to sell Fichter a bill of goodssince 1898. "Well, Charlie and me was delegates to the National Grand Lodge of theIndependent Order Mattai Aaron, and I nominated Charlie for GrandScribe. The way it come about was this, if you'd care to hear about it. " "That's all right, " Morris interrupted. "We take your word for it. Thepoint is, could you sell it him a big bill of goods, maybe?" Marks Pasinsky leaned back in his chair and laughed uproariously. "Why, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, all out of breath from his mirth, "thatfeller is actually putting his job in danger because he's holding off inhis fall buying until I get to Seattle. Fichter wouldn't buy not adollar's worth of goods from nobody else but me, not if you was to makehim a present of them for nothing. " He gave many more instances of his friendship with cloak and suitbuyers. For example, it appeared that he knew Rudolph Rosenwater, buyerfor Feigenson & Schiffer, of San Francisco, to the extent of an anecdotecontaining a long, intimate dialogue wherein Rosenwater commenced allhis speeches with: "Well, Markie. " "And so I says to him, " Pasinsky concluded, "'Rudie, you are all right, 'I says, 'but you can't con me. '" He looked from Abe to Morris and beamed with satisfaction. They were ina condition of partial hypnotism, which became complete after Pasinskyhad concluded a ten-minutes' discourse on cloak and suit affairs. Hespoke with a fluency and emphasis that left Abe and Morris literallygasping like landed fish, although, to be sure, the manner of hisdiscourse far outshone the matter. But his auditors were much too dazed to be critical. They were cognizantof only one circumstance: If this huge personage with his wonderfulmagnetism and address couldn't sell goods, nobody could. Pasinsky rose to his feet. He was six feet in height, and weighed overtwo hundred pounds. "Well, gentlemen, " he said, towering over his proposed employers, "thinkit over and see if you want me. I'll be back at noon. " "Hold on a minute, " Abe cried. "You ain't told us nothing about whoyou worked for last. What were all them references you was tellingus about?" Pasinsky regarded Abe with a smile of amusement. "I'll tell you, Mr. Potash, it's like this, " he explained. "Of courseyou want to know who I worked for and all about it. " Abe nodded. "But the way I feel about it, " Marks Pasinsky went on, "is that if youadvance my expenses for two weeks, understand me, and I go out with yoursample line, understand me, if you don't owe me a thousand dollarscommissions at the end of that time, then I don't want to work for youat all. " Morris' jaw dropped and he wiped beads of perspiration from hisforehead. "But who did you sell goods for?" Abe insisted. Marks Pasinsky bent down and placed his hand on Abe's shoulder. "B. Gans, " he whispered. "Let me in on this, too, Abe, " Morris exclaimed. "He says he worked for B. Gans, " Abe replied. "That's an A Number One concern, Abe, " Morris said. "A _A_ Number One, " Pasinsky corrected. "B. Gans ain't got a garment inhis entire line that retails for less than a hundred dollars. " "Well, we ain't so tony as all that, " Morris commented. "We got it oneor two garments, Mr. Pasinsky--just one or two, y'understand--whichretails for ninety-nine dollars and ninety-eight cents, y'understand. So, naturally, you couldn't expect to sell the same class of trade forus as you sold it for B. Gans. " "Naturally, " Pasinsky agreed loftily, "but when a salesman is asalesman, Mr. Perlmutter, he ain't content to sell a line of goods whichsells themselves, so to speak, like B. Gans' line. He wants to handlesuch a line like you got it, Mr. Perlmutter, which is got to be pushedand pushed good and plenty. If I wouldn't handle an inferior line oncetin a while, Mr. Perlmutter, I would quick get out of practice. " Morris snorted. "If our line don't suit you, Mr. Pasinsky, " he began, when Abeinterrupted with a wave of his hand. "Pasinsky is right, Mawruss, " he said. "You always got it an idee youmade up a line of goods what pratically sold themselves, and I alwaystold you differencely. You wouldn't mind it if I went around to see B. Gans, Mr. Pasinsky. " Pasinsky stared superciliously at Abe. "Go as far as you like, " he said. "Gans wouldn't tell you nothing butgood of me. But if I would work for you one week, Mr. Potash, you wouldknow that with me recommendations is nix and results everything. " He blew his nose like a challenge and clapped his silk hat on hisflowing black curls. Then he bowed to Morris, and the next moment theelevator door clanged behind him. B. Gans guided himself by the maxim: "In business you couldn't trustnobody to do nothing, " and albeit he employed over a hundred workmen hegave practical demonstrations of their duties to all of them. Thus, onthe last of the month he made out statements in the office, and when theshipping department was busy he helped tie up packages. Occasionally hewould be found wielding a pressing iron, and when Abe Potash entered toinquire about Pasinsky's qualifications B. Gans had just smashed histhumb in the process of showing a shipping clerk precisely how apacking-case ought to be nailed. "What's the matter, Gans?" Abe asked. "Couldn't you afford it to hire shipping clerks no more?" "I want to tell you something, Potash, " Gans replied. "Jay Vanderbiltain't got money enough to hire it a good shipping clerk, because for thesimple reason there ain't no good shipping clerks. A shipping clerkain't no good, otherwise he wouldn't be a shipping clerk. " "How about drummers?" Abe asked. "I ain't come to ask you aboutshipping clerks, Gans; I come to ask you about a drummer. " "What should you ask me about drummers for, Potash?" Gans replied. "Youknow as well as I do what drummers is, Potash. Drummers is bluffs. Iwouldn't give a pinch of snuff for the best drummers living. The waydrummers figure it out nowadays, Potash, there ain't no more money incommissions. All the money is in the expense account. " Abe laughed. "I guess you got a tale of woe to tell about designers and models, too, Gans, " he said; "but with me, Gans, so long as a salesman could sellgoods I don't take it so particular when it comes right down to theexpense account. " "Oh, if they sell goods, Potash, " Gans agreed, "then that's somethingelse again. But the way business is to-day, Potash, salesmen don't sellgoods no more. Former times a salesman wasn't considered a salesmanunless he could sell a customer goods what the customer didn't want; butnowadays it don't make no difference what kind of salesman you hire it, Potash, the goods is got to sell themselves, otherwise the salesmancan't do no business. Ain't it?" "But take a salesman like Marks Pasinsky, for instance, " Abe said. "There's a feller what can sell goods. Ain't it?" B. Gans looked up sharply. "Did Marks Pasinsky send you here?" he asked. "Well, he give you as a reference, " Abe replied. "All right, " B. Gans continued. "You tell Marks Pasinsky from methat I says he's a good salesman and that why he left me was bymutual consent. " "Sure, " Abe said, "but I wanted to ask you more about Pasinsky. You see, Pasinsky wants to come to work by us as salesman, and I want to find outa few things about him first. " "Well, I'm just telling you, ain't I?" Gans replied. "I said MarksPasinsky was a good salesman and the reason why he left me was by mutualconsent; and you tell Pasinsky that that's what I said it, and if you'llexcuse me I got business to attend to. " He turned away and fairly ran toward the rear of the loft, while Abe, now thoroughly mystified, returned to his place of business. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried as his partner entered. "What for a referencedid you get it from B. Gans?" "The reference is all right, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "B. Gans says thatPasinsky is a good salesman and that the reason he left was by mutualconsent. " "Mutual consent?" Morris exclaimed. "What kind of reasons is that forfiring a feller?" "Gans didn't fire him, Mawruss, " Abe said. "He left by mutual consent. " "I know, Abe, " Morris rejoined, "but when a feller quits by mutualconsent you know as well as I do, Abe, what that means. It means thatif I should say to Jake, the shipping clerk, 'Jake, you are a rottenshipping clerk and I don't want you no more, and if you don't get rightout of here I will kick you out, ' and then Jake says to me, 'In thatcase you could take your dirty job and give it to some poor sucker whatwants it more as I do, ' then Jake quits by mutual consent. Ain't it?" Abe stared indignantly at his partner. "I'm surprised to hear you you should talk that way, Mawruss, about adecent, respectable young feller what works so hard like Jake does, " hesaid. "That only goes to show what a judge you are. If you couldn't tellit a good shipping clerk when you see one, how should you know anythingabout salesmen? B. Gans says that Pasinsky is a good salesman, Mawruss, and you can do what you like about it; I'm going to hire him, Mawruss, when he comes back here. " "Go ahead, Abe, " Morris retorted. "Only, if things shouldn't turn out O. K. You shouldn't blame me. That's all. " "I wouldn't blame you, Mawruss, " Abe said. "All I would blame you is ifyou wouldn't have our sample line in good shape by next week, because Iwant Pasinsky to leave here by Monday sure. " "Don't you worry about them samples, Abe, " Morris cried. "Them samples is good enough to sell themselves; and the way I figure itout, they got to sell themselves, Abe, because I don't believe Pasinskycould sell nothing to nobody. " "You don't believe nothing, Mawruss, " Abe concluded as he made for thecutting-room; "you're a regular amethyst. " "With a feller like Kuhner, " Marks Pasinsky declared on the followingMonday, "you couldn't be a cheap skate, Mr. Potash. " "I always sold it Kuhner, too, " Abe replied; "but I never spent it somuch as three hundred dollars in one week in Chicago. " "Sure, I know, " Pasinsky agreed, "but how much did you sell Kuhner? Athousand or two thousand at the outside. With me, Mr. Potash, I wouldn'tbother myself to stop off in Chicago at all if I couldn't land at leasta five-thousand-dollar order from Simon Kuhner, of Mandleberger Brothers& Co. , and we will say four thousand with Chester Prosnauer, of theArcade Mercantile Company. " It lacked half an hour of Marks Pasinsky's train-time, and, in addition, Abe had grown a little weary of his parting instructions to hisnewly-hired salesman. Indeed, the interview had lasted all the forenoon, and it would have been difficult to decide who was doing theinstructing. "S'enough, " Abe cried. "Let's make an end. I'll speak to my partnerabout it, and if he says it's all right I'm agreeable. " He repaired to the cutting-room, where Morris chafed at the delay inPasinsky's departure. "Ain't that feller gone yet, Abe?" he asked. "I'm just giving him a few last advices, " Abe replied. "Well, I hope you're more successful as I was, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "That feller's got so much to say for himself I couldn't get a word insideways. " Abe nodded. "He's a good talker, " he said, "only he's too ambitious, Mawruss. " "He shouldn't get ambitious around me, Abe, " Morris retorted, "because Iwouldn't stand for it. What's he getting ambitious with you about?" "Well, he wants it three hundred dollars for expenses one week inChicago already, " Abe answered. "What!" Morris cried. "He says he got to do some tall entertaining, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "because he expects to sell Simon Kuhner a five-thousand-dollars bill ofgoods, and the Arcade Mercantile Company also five thousand. " "Say, looky here, Abe: I want to tell you something, " Morris broke in. "Of course, this ain't my affair nor nothing, because you got therheumatism and it's your funeral. Also, I am only a partner here, y'understand, and what I says goes for nix. But the way it looks to menow, Abe, if this here Pasinsky sells all the goods he talks about, Abe, we will got to have four times more capital as we are working with now. And if he spends it three hundred dollars in every town he makes wewouldn't have no capital left at all. And that's the way it goes. " He turned and strode angrily away, while Abe went back to the show-room. "Well, Pasinsky, " he said, "I decided I would take a chance and advanceyou the three hundred; but you got to do the business, Pasinsky, otherwise it is all off. " Pasinsky nodded and tucked away the yellowbacks which Abe gave him. "All you've got to do, Mr. Potash, is to fill the orders, " he said, extending his hand to Abe, "and I will do the rest. And now good-by andgood luck to you. " He squeezed Abe's hand until it was completely numb, and with aparting nod to Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, he started on his journeyfor the West. "You would thought, Mawruss, " Abe said afterward, "that he was stayinghome and that it was me what goes away on the trip. " "I wish you was, Abe, " Morris replied fervently. "I ain't got noconfidence in that feller at all. " "I wouldn't knock the feller until I seen what he could do, Mawruss, "Abe said. "He promised me we should hear from him so soon as he getsthere. " Four days later the expected mail arrived. Abe received the letter fromthe carrier and burst it open with his thumb. Then he drew forth thecontents of the envelope and shook the folded sheet, but no order slipfell out. He sighed heavily and perused the letter, which read asfollows: CHICAGO, ILL. , SEP. '08. MESS POTASH & PERLMUTTER _Gents_:--Arrived here this A M and things look very promising. Am informed by everybody that business is good on the coast and prospects of big orders also very promising. Sales have been slow here on a/c weather is very hot. Miss Schimpfer asst buyer millinary dept Mandleberger Bros & Co says things look very promising and expects to do a big fall business. Was two hours late getting in to Chicago on a/c freight wreck and missed seeing Kuhner his sister's daughter gets married and Kuhner goes to the wedding. Will see Kuhner to morrow A M and let you know results. Have appointment with Chester Prosnauer to morrow A M and things look very promising there. Will write you to morrow. Regards to Mr. Perlmutter. Hoping things is all right in the store, I am, MARKS PASINSKY. Abe finished reading the letter and handed it in silence to Morris, whoexamined it closely. "That's a very promising letter, Abe, " he said. "I'd like to know whatthat feller done all day in Chicago. I bet yer that assistant millinerybuyer eats a good lunch on us, Abe, if she didn't also see it a theayteron us, too. What does he think he's selling, anyway, Abe, millinery orcloaks?" "Give the feller a show, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "He ain't been inChicago forty-eight hours yet. We'll wait till we get it another letterfrom him, Mawruss, before we start to kick. " Another day elapsed, but no further epistle came from Marks Pasinsky, and when the last mail arrived without any word from Chicago Morris grewworried. "Not even a weather report, Abe, " he said. "If he couldn't sell nogoods, Abe, at least he could write us a letter. " "Maybe he's too busy, Mawruss, " Abe suggested. "Busy taking assistant millinery buyers to lunch, Abe, " Morris replied. "The way that feller acts, Abe, he ain't no stranger to auctionpinochle, neither, I bet yer. " Abe put on his hat and coat preparatory to going home. "What's the use knocking him yet a while, Mawruss?" he said. "Adifferent tune you will sing it when we get a couple of orders from himto-morrow morning. " But the next forenoon's mail was barren of result, and when Abe went outto lunch that day he had little appetite for his food. Accordingly hesought an enameled-brick dairy restaurant, and he was midway in theconsumption of a bowl of milk toast when Leon Sammet, senior partner ofSammet Brothers, entered. "Well, Abe, " he said, "do you got to diet, too?" "_Gott sei dank_, it ain't so bad as all that, Leon, " Abe replied. "No, Leon, I ain't going to die just yet a while, although that's a terriblesickness, the rheumatism. The doctor says I could only eat it certainthings like chicken and chops and milk toast. " "Well, you wouldn't starve, anyhow, " Leon commented. "No, I wouldn't starve, " Abe admitted, "but I also couldn't go out onthe road, neither. The doctor wouldn't let me, so we got to hire afeller to take care of our Western trade. I guess he's a pretty goodsalesman, too. His name is Marks Pasinsky. Do you know him?" "Sure I know him, " Leon Sammet replied. "He used to work by B. Gans, andhe's a very close friend of a feller what used to work for us by thename Mozart Rabiner. " "You mean that musical feller?" Abe said. "That's the one, " Leon answered. "I bet yer he was musical. That fellergot the artistic temperature all right, Abe. He didn't give a damn howmuch of our money he spent it. Every town he makes he got to have apianner sent up to the hotel. Costs us every time three dollars for thepianner and five dollars for trucking. We got it a decent salesman now, Abe. We hired him a couple of weeks since. " "What's his name?" Abe asked. "Arthur Katzen, " Leon Sammet replied. "He had a big week last week inBuffalo, Erie, Cleveland and Detroit. He's in Chicago this week. " "Is that so?" Abe commented. "He turned us in a fine order to-day, " Leon continued, "from SimonKuhner, of Mandleberger Brothers & Co. " "What?" Abe gasped. "Sure, " Sammet went on, "and the funny thing about it is that Kuhnernever bought our line before, and I guess he wouldn't of bought it now, but this here Arthur Katzen, Abe, he is sure a wonder. That felleractually booked a five-thousand-dollar order from sample garments whichdidn't belong to our line at all. They're some samples which Iunderstand Kuhner had made up already. " "That's something what I never heard it before, " Abe exclaimed. "Me neither, " Leon said; "but Kuhner gives him the privilege to send usthe garments here, and we are to make up sample garments of our own sosoon as we can copy the styles; and after we ship our samples andKuhner's samples back to Kuhner, Kuhner sends us a confirmation. Weexpect Kuhner will ship us his samples to-morrow. " Abe rose wearily from his seat. "Well, Leon, " he concluded, "you certainly got it more luck with yoursalesman as we got it with ours. So far he ain't sent us a single, solitary order. " He passed down the aisle to the cashier's desk and had almost reachedthe door when a restraining hand plucked at his coat tails. "Hallo, Abe!" a voice cried. It was Sol Klinger, whose manner of eatingcrullers and coffee received and merited the unfavorable attention ofeverybody seated at his table. "Sit down and have a cup of coffee. " "I had it my lunch already, " Abe replied. "Sit down and have a cup of coffee, anyhow, " Sol Klinger coaxed. "I wouldn't have no coffee, " Abe said as he took the vacant chair nextto Sol. "I'll have a cup of chocolate. To a man in my conditions, Sol, coffee is poison already. " "Why, what's the matter, Abe?" Sol asked. "I'm a sick feller, Sol, " Abe went on. "The rheumatism I got it all overmy body. I assure you I couldn't go out on the road this fall. I had tohire it a salesman. " "Is that so?" Sol Klinger replied. "Well, we had to hire it a newsalesman, too--a young feller by the name Moe Rabiner. Do you know him?" "I heard about him already, " Abe said. "How is he doing?" "Well, in Buffalo, last week, he ain't done hardly nothing, " said Sol;"but he's in Chicago this week and he done a little better. He sent us anice order this morning, I bet yer. Four thousand dollars from theArcade Mercantile Company. " Abe was swallowing a huge mouthful of cocoa, and when Sol vouchsafedthis last piece of information the cocoa found its way to Abe's pharynx, whence it was violently ejected into the face of a mild-mannerederrand-boy sitting opposite. The errand-boy wiped his face while Solslapped Abe on the back. "What's the matter, Abe?" Sol asked solicitously. "Do you gotbronchitis, too, as well as rheumatism?" "Go ahead, Sol, " Abe gasped. "Tell me about this here order. " "There ain't much to tell, Abe, " Sol went on, "except that this hereRabiner does something I never heard about before in all my experiencein the cloak and suit business. " "No?" Abe croaked. "What was that?" "Why, this here Rabiner gets an order from Prosnauer, of the ArcadeMercantile Company, for garments what we ain't got in our line at all, "Sol Klinger explained; "and Prosnauer furnishes us the sample garments, which we are to return to him just so soon as we can copy them, andthen----" "S'enough, " Abe cried. "I heard enough, Sol. Don't rub it in. " "Why, what do you mean, Abe?" Sol asked. "I mean I got it a salesman in Chicago, Sol, " Abe went on, "what ain'tsent us so much as a smell of an order. I guess there's only one thingfor me to do, Sol, and that's to go myself to Chicago and see what he'sup to. " Sol looked shocked. "Don't you do it, Abe, " he said. "Klein got a brother-in-law what gotthe rheumatism like you got it, Abe, and the feller insisted on going toBoston. The railroad trip finished him, I bet yer. " "Did he die?" Abe asked. "Well, no, he didn't die exactly, " Klinger replied; "but on the trainthe rheumatism went to his head, and that poor, sick young feller took awhole theayter troupe into the café car and blows 'em to tchampanyerwine yet. Two hundred dollars it costed him. " "That's all right, Sol, " Abe replied. "I could stand it if it stood mein three hundred dollars, so long as I could stop Marks Pasinsky makinganother town. " He rose to his feet with surprising alacrity for a rheumatic patient, and returned to his office, where no communication had been receivedfrom Marks Pasinsky. "That settles it, Mawruss, " Abe said as he jammed his hat farther downon his head. "Where are you going now?" Morris asked. "I'm going home to pack my grip, " Abe announced, "and I'll get that sixo'clock train to Chicago, sure. " "But, Abe, " Morris protested, "I thought the doctor says if you went outon the road he wouldn't be responsible for you. " "I know he did, " Abe concluded as he passed out, "but who will beresponsible for Marks Pasinsky, Mawruss?" When Abe reached Chicago the following afternoon he repaired at once tothe hotel at which Marks Pasinsky was staying. "Mr. Pasinsky ain't in his room. What?" he said to the clerk. "Mr. Pasinsky went out about one o'clock and hasn't been back since, "the clerk replied as he handed Abe over to a bell-boy. Fifteen minuteslater Abe descended from his room with the marks of travel almosteffaced, and again inquired for Marks Pasinsky. "He ain't been back since, Mr. Potash, " said the clerk. "He didn't go out with nobody. No?" Abe asked. "I think he went out with a short, dark gentleman, " the clerk answered. Abe pondered for a moment. Simon Kuhner stood full six feet tall and wasa decided blond, while Chester Prosnauer, whom he knew by sight only, was as large as Marks Pasinsky himself. "Who could that be, I wonder?" Abe murmured. "It was a gentleman staying over at the Altringham, " the clerk said. "Then it couldn't be them, " Abe concluded. "If Pasinsky comes back youshould please tell him to wait. I will be back here at six, sure. " He made immediately for the business premises of Mandleberger Brothers &Co. , where he found Simon Kuhner hard at work in his office. "Hallo, Abe!" Kuhner cried as Abe entered. "They told me you was a fitsubject for crutches when I asked for you the other day. " "Who told you?" Abe said without further preface. "Marks Pasinsky?" "Marks Pasinsky?" Kuhner repeated. "Why, no. He didn't mention yourname, Abe. Do you know Marks Pasinsky, too?" "Do I know him, too?" Abe almost shrieked. "A question! Ain't he sellinggoods for me?" "Is he?" Kuhner said. "Is he!" Abe cried. "Why, you don't mean to tell me that feller ain'tbeen in here yet?" "Sure he was in here, " Kuhner replied, "but he didn't say nothing aboutselling goods for you. In fact, he got a fine order from me, Abe, for aconcern which I never done business with before. People by the nameSammet Brothers. What's the matter, Abe? Are you sick?" Abe gurgled once or twice and clutched at his collar. "Did you got the samples here what he shows you?" he managed to gasp. "Why, Abe, what's troubling you?" Kuhner said. "A sick man like youshouldn't be attending to business at all. " "Never mind me, " Abe cried. "What about them samples, Kuhner?" "He left some samples with me, and I was to ship 'em to SammetBrothers. " "Did you ship 'em yet?" Abe exclaimed. "Why, what's the matter, Abe?" Kuhner commenced soothingly. "The matter is, " Abe shouted, "them samples is my samples, and there'ssome monkey business here. " "Monkey business!" Kuhner said. "What sort of monkey business?" "I don't know, " Abe replied, "but I'm going to find out right away. Promise me you wouldn't ship them samples till I come back. " "Sure I will promise you, Abe, " Kuhner declared. "When will yoube back?" "To-morrow morning some time, " Abe concluded as he rose to leave. "I gotto see a lawyer and make this here feller Pasinsky arrested. " "Don't do nothing rash, Abe, " Kuhner advised. "I won't do nothing rash, " Abe promised. "I'll kill him, that's whatI'll do. " He took the stairs three at a jump and fairly ran to the dry-goods storeof the Arcade Mercantile Company. "Mr. Prosnauer, " he cried as he burst into Prosnauer's office in thecloak department, "my name is Mr. Potash, of Potash & Perlmutter, fromNew York. Did you seen it my salesman, Marks Pasinsky?" "Sit down, Mr. Potash, " Prosnauer said, "and don't excite yourself. " "I ain't exciting myself, " Abe exclaimed. "I don't got to excite myself, Mr. Prosnauer. I am excited enough already when I think to myself thatthat lowlife Pasinsky takes my samples out of my store and comes herewith my money and gets an order from you for four thousand dollars forKlinger & Klein. " "Not so fast, Mr. Potash, " Prosnauer began. "I've known Marks Pasinskyfor a number of years. He and I play auction pinochle together everySaturday night when he is in Chicago, and----" "Auction pinochle!" Abe interrupted, throwing up his hands. "_Das fehltnur noch_!" "As I was saying, Mr. Potash, " Prosnauer went on with a withering glanceat Abe, "those samples are outside, and Pasinsky has asked me to shipthem to Klinger & Klein, and----" "Ship 'em!" Abe cried. "You shouldn't ship nothing. Them samples belongsto me. " "How do I know that?" Prosnauer asked. "Is your name engraved on 'em?" "All right, " Abe cried, jumping to his feet. "All right, Mr. Prosnauer. If you are going to make jokes with me I got nothing to say, but I giveyou warning that you should do absolutely nothing with them samples tillI send a sheriff round for them. " "Now you're making threats, " said Prosnauer. "With people like Marks Pasinsky, " Abe retorted as he paused at thedoor, "I don't got to make no threats. I know who I am dealing with, Mr. Prosnauer, and so, instead I should make threats I go right away and seea lawyer, and he will deliver the goods. That's all I got to say. " "Hold on there, Mr. Potash, " Prosnauer cried. "It ain't necessary foryou to see a lawyer. Prove to me that you own the samples and you canhave 'em. " Abe hesitated. "Well, " he said, "if you would hold it them samples till to-morrownoon, Mr. Prosnauer, I'll give you all the proofs you want. " "Very well, " Prosnauer said, "I'll hold them. When will you be back?" "Before twelve to-morrow, " Abe replied. "Believe me, Mr. Prosnauer, Iain't so stuck on paying lawyers. If I can settle this thing up nice andfriendly I would do so. " They shook hands, and Abe retraced his steps to the hotel, where heagain inquired for Marks Pasinsky. "He hasn't come back yet, Mr. Potash, " the clerk said, and Abe retiredto the writing-room and smoked a cigar by way of a sedative. From six o'clock that evening until midnight he smoked so many sedativecigars and made so many fruitless inquiries at the desk for MarksPasinsky, that his own nerves as well as the night clerk's werecompletely shattered. Before Abe retired he paid a farewell visit to thedesk, and both he and the clerk gave vent to their emotions in a greatdeal of spirited profanity. There was no rest for Abe that night, and when at length he fell asleepit was almost daylight. He awoke at nine and, dressing himself firemanfashion, he hurried to the desk. "What time did Marks Pasinsky come in?" he asked the clerk. "Why, Mr. Pasinsky didn't come in at all, " the clerk replied. Abe pushed his hat back from his forehead. "Say, young feller, " he said, "do you got the gall to tell me that MarksPasinsky ain't come back since he went over to the Altringham with thatshort, dark feller yesterday afternoon?" "Call me a liar, why don't you?" the clerk retorted. "You're a fresh young feller!" Abe exclaimed. "Couldn't you answer acivil question?" "Ah, don't be worrying me with your troubles!" the clerk snarled. "Goover to the Altringham yourself, if you think I'm stringing you. " Abe turned without another word and hustled over to the Altringham. "Do you know a feller by the name Marks Pasinsky?" he asked the clerk. "Is he a guest of the house?" the clerk said. "He's a big feller with a stovepipe hat and curly hair, " Abe replied, "and he came in here yesterday afternoon with a short, dark feller whatis stopping here. This here Pasinsky is stopping where I am, but heain't showed up all night, and I guess he's stayed here with that short, dark feller. " The clerk touched a bell. "Front, " he said, "show this gentleman up to eighty-nine. " "Eighty-nine?" Abe cried. "Who's up in eighty-nine?" [Illustration: YOU'RE A FRESH YOUNG FELLER!] "Tall, curly-haired gentleman came in here yesterday afternoon with ashort, dark gentleman name of Katzen and----" Abe clapped his hand to his forehead. "Arthur Katzen!" he cried. The clerk nodded. "Short, dark feller, " Abe murmured as he followed the bell-boy. "Whydidn't I think of Arthur Katzen before?" He entered the elevator, feeling as though he were walking in his sleep;nor did the jolt with which he was shot up to the eighth floor awakenhim. His conductor led him down the corridor and was about to knock atroom eighty-nine when Abe seized him by the arm. "Hold on, " Abe whispered. "The door is open. " They tiptoed up to the half-open door and, holding himself well withinthe shadow of the corridor, Abe peeped in. It was ten o'clock of a sunnyfall day, but the dark shades of room eighty-nine were drawn and theelectric lights were blazing away as though it were still midnight. Beneath the lights was a small, oblong table at which sat three men, and in front of each of them stood a small pile of chips. Marks Pasinskywas dealing. "A-ah, Katzen, you ruined that hand, " Marks Pasinsky said as heflipped out the cards three at a time. "Why didn't you lead it outthe ace of _Schüppe_ right at the start? What did you expect to dowith it? Eat it?" Katzen nodded sleepily. "The way I feel now, Pasinsky, I could eat most anything, " he retorted. "I could eat a round trip, if I had a cup of coffee with it, so hungry Iam. Let's have some supper. " "Supper!" Pasinsky cried. "What do you want supper for? The game isyoung yet. " "Shall I tell you something?" the third hand--a stranger to Abe--said. "You both played that hand like _Strohschneiders_. Pasinsky sits therewith two nines of trump in his hand and don't lead 'em through me. Youcould have beat me by a million very easy. " He waved his hand with the palm outward and flapped his four fingersderisively. "You call yourself a pinochle player!" he jeered, and fell to twistinghis huge red mustache with his fingers. Abe nodded an involuntary approval, and then as silently as they hadarrived he and the bell-boy retreated toward the elevator shaft. "Dem guys is card fiends all right, " the bell-boy commented. "Deystarted in at five o'clock last night. " As they waited for the elevator the strains of a piano came from thefloor below. "What's that?" Abe exclaimed. "Dat's anudder member of de gang, " the bell-boy replied. "Dat's Mr. Rabiner. He quit a big loser about one o'clock dis mornin'. " Abe handed his informant a dime. "Take me to his room, " he said. The bell-boy led the way to the seventh floor and conducted Abe to thedoor of Rabiner's room. "Dat's a pretty said spiel dat guy is tearin' off, " he commented. "Itmakes me tink of a dago funeral. " Abe nodded. He knocked at the door, and Liszt's transcription of the_Liebestod_ ceased immediately. "Well?" Mozart Rabiner cried and, for answer, Abe opened the door. "Hallo, Moe!" he said. "You don't know me. What? I'm Abe Potash. " "Oh, hello, Potash!" Rabiner said, rising from the piano stool. "That's some pretty mournful music you was giving us, Moe, " Abe went on. "Sounds like business was poor already. Ain't you working no more?" "I am and I ain't, " Mozart replied. "I'm supposed to be selling goodsfor Klinger & Klein, but since I only sold it one bill in two weeks Iain't got much hopes that I'll get enough more money out of 'em to moveme out of town. " "What do you make next, Moe?" Abe asked. "St. Paul and Minneapolis, " Mozart replied. Abe handed him a large cigar and, lighting the mate to it, puffed awaycomplacently. "That was a pretty good order you got it from Prosnauer which SolKlinger tells me about, " he said. Mozart nodded sadly. "Looky here, Moe, " Abe went on, "how much money do you need tomove you?" Mozart lifted his eyebrows and shrugged hopelessly. "More as you would lend me, Potash, " he said. "So what's the use talkingabout it?" "Well, I was going to say, " Abe continued, "if it was something what youmight call within reason, Moe, I might advance it if----" "If what?" Moe inquired. "If you would tell me the insides of just how you got it that order fromProsnauer. " Mozart gave a deprecatory wave of his right hand. "You don't got to bribe me to tell you that, Potash, " he said, "becauseI ain't got no concern in that order no longer. I give up my commissionthere to a feller by the name Ignatz Kresnick. " "A white-faced feller with a big red mustache?" Abe asked. "That's him, " Mozart replied. "The luck that feller Kresnick got it issomething you wouldn't believe at all. He could fall down a sewermanhole and come up in a dress suit and a clean shave already. He cleansme out last night two hundred dollars and the commission on thatProsnauer order. " "But you didn't get that order in the first place, Moe, " Abe said. "Marks Pasinsky got the order. " "Sure, I know, " Mozart replied, "but he got set back a couple of fourhundred hands last Tuesday night with Katzen and me in the game, andthe way he settles up his losing is that Katzen and me should take hiscommissions on a couple of orders which he says he is going to get fromSimon Kuhner, of Mandleberger Brothers & Co. , and Chester Prosnauer, ofthe Arcade Mercantile Company. Sure enough, he gets the orders from bothof 'em the very next morning. That's the kind of salesman he is. " "But why didn't Pasinsky send us along the orders, Moe, " Abe protested, "and we could fix up about the commissions later? Why should he sent itthe orders to Klinger & Klein and Sammet Brothers?" "Well, you see, business was poor with me and I wanted to make good, being as this was my first trip with the concern; so, as a favor tome Pasinsky turns over the whole order to me, " Mozart explained;"and then, when Katzen sees that, he wants the other order sent tohis concern, too. " "But this was Pasinsky's first trip by us, also, " Abe cried. "I know it, " Mozart said, "but Pasinsky says that he didn't care, because a good salesman like him could always find it an openingsomewhere, and anyway he wasn't stuck on working for a piker concernlike yours. " Abe rose with his eyes ablaze. "That settles it, " he said, jamming his hat on his head. "I'm going fora policeman. I'll teach that sucker to steal my orders!" He bounced out of the room and, as he rang for the elevator, Isolde'slament once more issued from beneath. Mozart Rabiner's fingers: _Mild und leise wie er lächelt Wie das Auge hold er öffnet_ While from the floor above came the full, round tones of the salesman, Marks Pasinsky. "Sixty queens, " he said. Abe ran out of the hotel lobby straight into the arms of a short, stoutperson. "Excuse me, " Abe exclaimed. "I'll excuse you, Potash, " said the short, stout person, "but I wouldn'trun like that if I got it the rheumatism so bad. " Abe looked at the speaker and gasped. It was B. Gans. "What are you doing in Chicago, Potash?" Gans asked. "You should ask me that, " Abe snorted indignantly. "If it wouldn't befor you I wouldn't never got to leave New York. " "What do you mean?" Gans asked. "I mean you gives me a good reference for this feller Marks Pasinsky, "Abe shouted. "And even now I am on my way out for a policeman to makethis here Pasinsky arrested. " B. Gans whistled. He surrendered to a bell-boy the small valise hecarried and clutched Abe's arm. "I wouldn't do that, " he said. "Come inside the café and tell me allabout it. " Abe shook himself free. "Why shouldn't I make him arrested?" he insisted. "He's a thief. Hestole my samples. " "Well, he stole my samples, too, oncet, " B. Gans replied. "Come insidethe café and I'll give you a little sad story what I got, too. " A moment later they were seated at a marble-top table. "Yes, Abe, " B. Gans went on after they had given the order, "MarksPasinsky stole my samples, too. Let's hear your story first. " Straightway Abe unfolded to B. Gans the tale of Marks Pasinsky'sadventure with Mozart Rabiner and Arthur Katzen, and also told himhow the orders based on Potash & Perlmutter's sample line had foundtheir way into the respective establishments of Sammet Brothers andKlinger & Klein. "Well, by jimminy!" B. Gans commented, "that's just the story I got totell it you. This feller does the selfsame funny business with mysamples. He gets orders from a couple of big concerns in St. Louis andthen he gambles them away to a feller called Levy. So what do I do, Potash? He goes to work and has 'em both arrested, and then them twofellers turns around and fixes up a story and the first thing you knowthe police judge lets 'em go. Well, Potash, them two fellers goes downto New York and hires a lawyer, by the name Henry D. Feldman, and sueme in the courts yet that I made them false arrested. Cost me a thousanddollars to settle it, and I also got to agree that if anybody inquiresabout Pasinsky I should say only that he is a good salesman--which isthe truth, Potash, because he is a good salesman--and that the reason heleft me is by mutual consent, y'understand?" Abe nodded. "That's a fine piece of work, that Marks Pasinsky, " he commented. "Iwish I had never seen him already. What shall I do, Gans? I am in afine mess. " "No, you ain't yet, " B. Gans replied. "Prosnauer and Kuhner knows me, Potash, and I am willing, as long as I got you into this, I will get youout of it. I will go with you myself, Potash, and I think I gotinfluence enough in the trade that I could easy get them to give youback them samples. " "I know you can, " Abe said enthusiastically, "and if you would put it to'em strong enough I think we could swing back to us them orders fromSammet Brothers and Klinger & Klein. " "That I will do for you, also, " B. Gans agreed. "But now, Potash, I gottroubles ahead of me, too. " "How's that?" Abe inquired, much interested. "I got it a lowlife what I hired for a salesman, also, " he replied, "andthree weeks ago that feller left my place with my samples and I ain'theard a word from him since. If I got to search every gamblinghouse inChicago I will find that loafer; and when I do find him, Potash, I willcrack his neck for him. " "I wouldn't do nothing rash, Gans, " Abe advised. "What for a lookingfeller is this salesman of yours?" "He's a tall, white-faced loafer with a big red mustache, " Gans replied, "and his name is Ignatz Kresnick. " Abe jumped to his feet. "Come with me, " he cried. Together they took the elevator to the eighthfloor and, as Ignatz Kresnick dealt the cards for the five-hundredthtime in that game, all unconscious of his fast-approaching Nemesis, Mozart Rabiner played the concluding measures of the _Liebestod_ softly, slowly, like a benediction: _Ertrinken-- Versinken-- Unbewusst-- Höchste Lust. _ CHAPTER XV "Who do you think I seen it in Hammersmith's just now, Mawruss?" AbePotash shouted as he burst into the show-room one Saturday afternoonin April. "I ain't deaf, Abe, " Morris replied. "Who did you seen it?" "J. Edward Kleebaum from Minneapolis, " Abe answered. Morris shrugged. "What d'ye want _me_ to do, Abe?" he asked. Abe ignored the question. "He promised he would come in at two o'clock and look over the line, " heannounced triumphantly. "Plenty crooks looked over our line already, Abe, " Morris commented, "and so far as I'm concerned, they could look over it all they want to, Abe, so long as they shouldn't buy nothing from us. " "What d'ye mean? Crooks?" Abe cried. "The way Kleebaum talks he wouldgive us an order for a thousand dollars goods, maybe, Mawruss. He ain'tno crook. " "Ain't he?" Morris replied. "What's the reason he ain't, Abe? The way Ilook at it, Abe, when a feller makes it a dirty failure like that fellermade it in Milwaukee, Abe, and then goes to Cleveland, Abe, and opens upas the bon march, Abe, and does another bust up, Abe, and then he goesto----" "S'enough, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted. "Them things is from old timesalready. To-day is something else again. That feller done a tremendousbusiness last spring, Mawruss, and this season everybody is falling overthemselves to sell him goods. " "Looky here, Abe, " Morris broke in, "you think the feller ain't a crook, and you're entitled to think all you want to, Abe, but I seen it SolKlinger yesterday, and what d'ye think he told me?" "I don't know what he told you, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "but it wouldn'tbe the first time, Mawruss, that a feller tells lies about a concernthat he couldn't sell goods to, Mawruss. It's the old story of the dawgand the grapes. " Morris looked hurt. "I'm surprised you should call a decent, respectable feller like SolKlinger a dawg, Abe, " he said. "That feller has always been a goodfriend of ours, Abe, and even if he wouldn't be, Abe, that ain't no wayto talk about a concern what does a business like Klinger & Klein. " "Don't make no speeches, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "Go ahead and tell mewhat Sol Klinger told it you about J. Edward Kleebaum. " "Why, Sol Klinger says that he hears it on good authority, Abe, thatthat lowlife got it two oitermobiles, Abe. What d'ye think for a crooklike that?" "So far what I hear it, Mawruss, it ain't such a terrible crime that afeller should got it two oitermobiles. In that case, Mawruss, AndrewCarnegie would be a murderer yet. I bet yer he got already _fifty_oitermobiles. " "S'all right, Abe, " Morris cried. "Andrew Carnegie ain't looking to buyoff us goods, Abe, and even so, Abe, he never made it a couple offailures like Kleebaum, Abe. " "Well, Mawruss, is that all you got against him that he owns anoitermobile? Maybe he plays golluf, too, Mawruss. " "Golluf I don't know nothing about, Abe, " Morris replied, "but auctionpinochle he does play it, Abe. Sol Klinger says that out in MinneapolisKleebaum hangs out with a bunch of loafers what considers a dollar ahundred chicken feed already. " Abe rose to his feet. "Let me tell you something, Mawruss, " he said. "I got over them oldfashioned idees that a feller shouldn't spend the money he makes in theway what he wants to. If Kleebaum wants to buy oitermobiles, that's hisbusiness, not mine, Mawruss, and for my part, Mawruss, if that fellerwas to come in here and buy from us a thousand dollars goods, Mawruss, Iam in favor we should sell him. " "You could do what you please, Abe, " Morris declared as he put on hishat. "Only one thing I beg of you, Abe, don't never put it up to me, Abe, that I was in favor of the feller from the start. " "Sure not, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "because you wouldn't never let meforget it. Where are you going now, Mawruss?" "I told you yesterday where I was going, Abe, " Morris said impatiently. "Me and Minnie is going out to Johnsonhurst to see her cousin MoeFixman. " "Moe Fixman, " Abe repeated. "Ain't that the same Fixman what waspartners together with Max Gudekunst?" Morris nodded. "Well, you want to keep your hand on your pocketbook, Mawruss, " Abewent on, "because I hear it on good authority that feller ain't aboveselling the milk from his baby's bottle. " Morris paused with his hand on the door knob. "That's the first I hear about it, Abe, " he said. "Certainly, when afeller gets together a little money, y'understand, always there issomebody what knocks him, Abe. Who told you all this about Fixman, Abe?" "A feller by the name Sol Klinger, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "and if youdon't believe me you could----" But Morris cut off further comment by banging the door behind him andAbe turned to his task of preparing the sample line for his prospectivecustomer's inspection. A half an hour later J. Edward Kleebaum enteredthe show-room and extended his hand to Abe. "Hallo, Potash, " he said. "You got to excuse me I'm a little late onaccount I had to look at a machine up on Fiftieth Street. " "That's a sample I suppose, ain't it?" Abe said. "No, " Kleebaum replied, "it's one of their stock machines, a Pfingst, nineteen-nine model. " "Pfingst!" Abe exclaimed, "that's a new one on me. Certainly, I believea feller should buy the machines what suits his purpose, but withMawruss and me, when we was running our own shop we bought nothing butstandard makes like Keeler and Silcox and them other machines. " At this juncture Kleebaum broke into a hearty laugh. "This machine is all right for what I would want it, " he said. "In fact, I got it right down in front of the door now. It's a nineteen-ninePfingst, six cylinder roadster up to date and runs like a chronometeralready. " "Oh, an oitermobile!" Abe cried. "Excuse me, Mr. Kleebaum. Oitermobilesain't in my line, Mr. Kleebaum. I'm satisfied I should know somethingabout the cloak and suit business, Mr. Kleebaum. Now, here is a garmentwhich me and Mawruss don't consider one of our leaders at all, Mr. Kleebaum. But I bet yer that if another concern as us would put out agarment like that, Mr. Kleebaum, they would make such a holler about itthat you would think nobody else knows how to make garments but them. " "When a feller's got the goods, Potash, " Kleebaum replied, as he lit oneof Abe's "gilt-edged" cigars, "he's got a right to holler. Now you takethis here Pfingst car. It is made by the Pfingst Manufacturing Company, a millionaire concern, and them people advertise it to beat the band. And why shouldn't they advertise it? Them people got a car there whichit is a wonder, Potash. How they could sell a car like that fortwenty-five hundred dollars I don't know. The body alone must cost thempeople a couple of thousand dollars. " "That's always the way, Mr. Kleebaum, " Abe broke in hurriedly. "Now, you take this here garment, Mr. Kleebaum, people would say, 'How is itpossible that Potash & Perlmutter could turn out a garment like this foreighteen dollars?' And certainly, Mr. Kleebaum, I don't say we losemoney on it, y'understand, only we got----" "But this here car, Potash, has selective transmission, shaft driveand----" "Say, lookyhere, Kleebaum, " Abe cried, "am I trying to sell you somecloaks or are you trying to sell me an oitermobile? Because if you are, I'm sorry I got to tell you I ain't in the market for an oitermobilejust at present. On the other hand, Mr. Kleebaum, I got a line ofgarments here which it is a pleasure for me to show you, even if youwouldn't buy so much as a button. " "Go ahead, Potash, " Kleebaum said, "and we'll talk about the car afteryou get through. " For over two hours Abe displayed the firm's sample line and his effortswere at last rewarded by a generous order from Kleebaum. "That makes in all twenty-one hundred dollars' worth of goods, " Kleebaumannounced, "and if you think you could stand the pressure, Potash, Icould smoke another cigar on you already. " "Excuse me, Mr. Kleebaum!" Abe cried, producing another of his bestcigars. "Much obliged, " Kleebaum mumbled as he lit up. "And now, Abe, afterbusiness comes with me pleasure. What d'ye say to a little spin uptownin this here Pfingst car which I got it waiting for me downstairs. " Abe waved his hand with the palm out. "You could go as far as you like, Mr. Kleebaum, " he replied, "but whenit comes to oitermobiles, Mr. Kleebaum, you got to excuse me. I ain'tnever rode in one of them things yet, and I guess you couldn't learn itan old dawg he should study new tricks. Ain't it?" "D'ye mean to tell me you ain't never rode in an oitermobile yet?"Kleebaum exclaimed. "You got it right, " Abe said, "and what's more I ain't never going toneither. " "What you trying to give me?" Kleebaum asked. "You mean to say if Iwould ask you you should come riding with me now, you would turn medown?" "I bet yer I would, " Abe declared. "An up-to-date feller like you, Kleebaum, is different already from an old-timer like me. I got a wife, Kleebaum, and also I don't carry a whole lot of insurance neither, y'understand. " "Come off, Potash!" Kleebaum cried. "I rode myself in oitermobilesalready millions of times and I ain't never been hurted yet. " "Some people's got all the luck, Kleebaum, " Abe replied. "With me I betyer if I would ride in an oitermobile once, y'understand, the least thatwould happen to me is I should break my neck. " "How could you break your neck in a brand new car like that Pfingst cardownstairs?" Kleebaum insisted. "Never mind, " Abe answered, "if things is going to turn out that way, Mr. Kleebaum, you could break your neck in a baby carriage yet. " "Well, don't get mad about it, Potash, " Kleebaum said. "Me, I don't get mad so easy, " Abe declared. "Wouldn't you comedownstairs to Hammersmith's and take a cup coffee or something?" Together they descended to the sidewalk where they were saluted by atremendous chugging from the Pfingst roadster. "Say, my friend, " the demonstrating chauffeur cried as he caught sightof Kleebaum, "what d'ye think I'm running anyway? A taxicab?" "You shouldn't get fresh, young feller, " Kleebaum retorted, "unless youwould want to lose your job. " "Aw, quit your stalling, " the chauffeur protested. "Is this the guy youwas telling me about?" Kleebaum frowned and contorted one side of his face with electricalrapidity. "Say, my friend, " the chauffeur replied entirely unmoved, "them gesturesdon't go down with me. Is this the guy you was telling the boss youwould jolly into buying a car, because----" Kleebaum turned to Abe and elaborately assumed an expression of amiabledeprecation. "That's a salesman for you, " he exclaimed. Abe surveyed Kleebaum with a puzzled stare. "Say, lookyhere, Kleebaum, " he said, "if you thought you would get me tobuy an oitermobile by giving me this here order, Kleebaum, I'm satisfiedyou should cancel it. Because again I got to tell it you, Kleebaum, Iain't in the market for oitermobiles just yet awhile. " Kleebaum clapped Abe on the shoulder. "The feller don't know what he's talking about, Potash, " he declared. "He's thinking of somebody quite different as you. That order stands, Potash, and now if you will excuse me joining you in that cup coffee, Potash, I got to say good-by. " He wrung Abe's hand in farewell and jumped into the seat beside thechauffeur while Abe stood on the sidewalk and watched them disappeardown the street. "I bet yer that order stands, " he mused. "It stands in my store until Iget a couple of good reports on that feller. " "What a house that feller Fixman got it, Abe, " Morris Perlmutterexclaimed on Monday morning. "A regular palace, and mind you, Abe, hedon't pay ten dollars more a month as I do up in a Hundred andEighteenth Street. And what a difference there is in the yard, Abe. Me, I look out on a bunch of fire escapes, while Fixman got a fine gardenwith trees and flowers pretty near as good as a cemetery. " "Well, why don't you move to Johnsonhurst, too, Mawruss, " Abe Potashsaid. "It's an elegant neighborhood, Mawruss. Me and Rosie was over toJohnsonhurst one day last summer and it took us three hours to get outthere and three hours to get back. Six cigars I busted in my vestpockets at the bridge yet and Rosie pretty near fainted in the crowd. Yes, Mawruss, it's an elegant neighborhood, I bet yer. " "That was on Sunday and the summer time, Abe, but Fixman says if heleaves his house at seven o'clock, he is in his office at a quarterto eight. " "I believe it, Mawruss, " Abe commented ironically. "That feller Fixmannever got downtown in his life before nine o'clock. He shouldn't tell menothing like that, Mawruss, because I know Fixman since way before theSpanish war already, and that feller was always a big bluff, y'understand. Sol Klinger tells me he's got also an oitermobile. " "Sol Klinger could talk all he wants, Abe, " Morris replied. "Fixman toldit me that if he had the money what Klinger sinks in one stock already, Abe, he could run a dozen oitermobiles. Sure, Fixman's got anoitermobile. With the money that feller makes, Abe, he's got a right togot on oitermobile. Klinger should be careful what he tells aboutpeople, Abe. The feller will get himself into serious trouble some day. He's all the time knocking somebody. Ain't it?" "Is that so?" Abe said. "I thought Klinger was such a good friend to us, Mawruss. Also, Mawruss, you say yourself on Saturday that a fellerwhat's got an oitermobile is a crook yet. " "Me!" Morris cried indignantly. "I never said no such thing, Abe. Alwaysyou got to twist around what I say, Abe. What I told you was----" "S'all right, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I'll take your word for it. What Iwant to talk to you about now is this here J. Edward Kleebaum. He givesus an order for twenty-one hundred dollars, Mawruss. " "Good!" Morris exclaimed. "Good?" Abe repeated with a rising inflection. "Say, Mawruss, what's thematter with you to-day, anyway?" "Nothing's the matter with _me_, Abe. What d'ye mean?" "I mean that on Saturday you wouldn't sell Kleebaum not a dollar's worthof goods, Mawruss, and even myself I was only willing we should go athousand dollars on the feller, and now to-day when I tell it you hegives us an order for twenty-one hundred dollars, Mawruss, you say, 'good'. " "Sure, I say, 'good', " Morris replied. "Why not? Just because a suckerlike Sol Klinger knocks a feller, Abe, that ain't saying the feller's N. G. Furthermore, Abe, suppose a feller does run a couple of oitermobiles, y'understand, Abe, does that say he's going to bust up right away?That's an idee what a back number like Klinger got it, Abe, but with meI think differently. There's worser things as oitermobiles to ride in, Abe, believe me. Fixman takes out his wife and Minnie and me onSaturday afternoon, and we had a fine time. We went pretty near toBoston, I bet yer. " "To Boston!" Abe exclaimed. "Well, we seen the Boston boats going out, and a fine view of the CityCollege also, and a gas factory and North Beach, too. Everything wentoff beautiful, Abe, and I assure you Minnie and me we come home feelingfine. I tell you, Abe, a feller has got to ride in one of them things toappreciate 'em. " "S'all right, Mawruss, " Abe cried. "I take your word for it. What I amworrying about now, Mawruss, is this here Kleebaum. " "Kleebaum is A Number One, Abe, " Morris said. "I was talking to Fixmanabout him and Fixman says that there ain't a better judge of anoitermobile between Chicago and the Pacific Coast. " "Say, lookyhere, Mawruss, " Abe asked, "are we in the cloak and suitbusiness or are we in the oitermobile business? Kleebaum buys from uscloaks, not oitermobiles. And while I ain't got such good judgment whenit comes to oitermobiles, I think I know something about the cloak andsuit business, and I got an idea that feller is out to do us. " "Why, Abe, you don't know the feller at all, " Morris protested. "Whydon't you make some investigations about the feller, Abe?" "Investigations is nix, Mawruss, " Abe replied impatiently. "When afeller is a crook, Mawruss, he could fool everybody, Mawruss. He couldfix things so the merchantile agencies would only find out good thingsabout him, and he buffaloes credit men so that to hear 'em talk youwould think he was a millionaire already. No, Mawruss, when you aredealing with a crook, investigations is nix. You got to depend on yourown judgment. " "But, Abe, " Morris cried, "you got a wrong idee about that feller. Fixman tells me Kleebaum does a fine business in Minneapolis. He has anelegant trade there and he's got a system of oitermobile delivery whichFixman says is great. He's got three light runabouts fixed up withremovable tonneaus, thirty horse-power, two cylinder engines and----" At this juncture Abe rose to his feet and hurried indignantly toward thecutting-room, where Morris joined him five minutes later. "Say, Abe, " he said, "while me and Minnie was out with Fixman onSaturday I got a fine idee for an oitermobile wrap. " Abe turned and fixed his partner with a terrible glare. "Tell it to Kleebaum, " he roared. "I did, " Morris said genially, "and he thought it would make a big hitin the trade. " "Why, when did you seen it, Kleebaum?" Abe asked. "This morning on my way over to Lenox Avenue. I met Sol Klinger and ashim and me was buying papers near the subway station, comes a bigoitermobile by the curb and Kleebaum is sitting with another feller inthe front seat, what they call a chauffeur, and Kleebaum says, 'Get inand I'll take you down town, ' so we get in and I bet yer we comedowntown in fifteen minutes. " "Ain't Klinger scared to ride in one of them things, Mawruss?" Abeasked. "Scared, Abe? Why should the feller be scared? Not only he wasn't scaredyet, Abe, but he took up Kleebaum's offer for a ride down to ConeyIsland yet. Kleebaum said they'd be back by ten o'clock and so Klingerasks me to telephone over to Klein that he would be a little late thismorning. " "That's a fine way for a feller to neglect his business, Mawruss, " Abecommented. Morris nodded without enthusiasm. "By the way, Abe, " he said, "me and Minnie about decided we would rentthe house next door to Fixman's down in Johnsonhurst, so I guess we willgo down there again this afternoon at three o'clock. " "At three o'clock!" Abe cried. "Say, lookyhere, Mawruss, what do youthink this here is anyway? A bank?" "Must I ask _you_, Abe, if I want to leave early oncet in awhile?" "Oncet in awhile is all right, Mawruss, but when a feller does it everyday that's something else again. " "When did I done it every day, Abe?" Morris demanded. "Saturday is thefirst time I leave here early in a year already, while pretty near everyafternoon, Abe, you got an excuse you should see a customer up inBroadway and Twenty-ninth Street. " "Shall I tell you something, Mawruss, " Abe cried suddenly. "You aregoing for an oitermobile ride with J. Edward Kleebaum. " Morris flushed vividly. "Supposing I am, Abe, " he replied. "Ain't Kleebaum a customer from ours?And how could I turn down a customer, Abe?" "_Maybe_ he's a customer, Mawruss, but I wouldn't be certain of itbecause you could go oitermobile riding with him if you want to, Mawruss, but me, I am going to do something different. I am going tolook that feller up, Mawruss, and I bet yer when I get through, Mawruss, we would sooner be selling goods to some of them cut-throats up in SingSing already. " At three o'clock Minnie entered swathed in veils and a huge fur coat. "Well, Abe, " she said, "did you hear the latest? We are going to move toJohnsonhurst. " "I wish you joy, " Abe grunted. "We got a swell place down there, " she went on. "Five bedrooms, a parlorand a library with a great big kitchen and a garage. " "A what?" Abe cried. "A place what you put oitermobiles into it, " Morris explained. "Is that so?" Abe said as he jammed his hat on with both hands. "Well, that don't do no harm, Mawruss, because you could also use it for adawg house. " He slammed the door behind him and five minutes later he entered thebusiness premises of Klinger & Klein. There he found the senior memberof the firm busy over the sample line. "Hallo, Sol!" he cried. "I just seen it Mr. Brady, credit man for theManhattan Mills, and he says he come across you riding in an oitermobilenear Coney Island at nine o'clock this morning already. He says healways thought you and Klein was pretty steady people, but I saysnowadays you couldn't never tell nothing about nobody. 'Because a felleris a talmudist already, Mr. Brady, ' I says, 'that don't say he ain'tblowing in his money on the horse races yet. '" Klinger turned pale. "Ain't that a fine thing, " he exclaimed, "that a feller with aresponsible position like Brady should be fooling away his time at ConeyIsland in business hours. " Abe laughed and clapped Sol Klinger on the back. "As a matter of fact, Sol, " he said, "I ain't seen Brady in a month, y'understand, but supposing Brady _should_ come across you in anoitermobile down at Coney Island at nine o'clock in the morning, y'understand. I bet yer he would call for a new statement from you andKlein the very next day, Sol, and make you swear to it on a truck loadof Bibles already. A feller shouldn't take no chances, Sol. " "I was in good company anyhow, Abe, " Sol declared. "I was with J. EdwardKleebaum, but I suppose Mawruss Perlmutter told it you. Ain't it?" "Sure, he did, " Abe said, "and he also told it me last week that yousays J. Edward Kleebaum was a crook because he runs a couple ofoitermobiles out in Minneapolis. " "I made a mistake about Kleebaum, Abe, " Klinger interrupted. "I changedmy mind about him. " "That's all right, Sol, " Abe said, "but if Kleebaum was a crook lastweek, Sol, and a gentleman this week, what I would like to know is, whathe will be next week, because I got for twenty-one hundred dollars anorder from that feller and I got to ship it next week. So if you got anyinformation about Kleebaum, Sol, you would be doing me a favor if youwould let me know all about it. " "All I know about him is this, Abe, " Klinger replied. "We drew on himtwo reports and both of 'em gives him fifty to seventy-five thousandcredit good. He's engaged to be married to Miss Julia Pfingst, who isJoseph Pfingst's a daughter. " "Joseph Pfingst, " Abe repeated. "I don't know as I ever hear that namebefore. " "It used to be Pfingst & Gusthaler, " Klinger went on, "in the rubbergoods business on Wooster Street. First they made it raincoats, and thenthey went into rubber boots, and just naturally they got into bicycletires, and then comes the oitermobile craze, and Gusthaler dies, and soPfingst sells oitermobile tires, and now he's in the oitermobilebusiness. " "Certainly, he got there gradually, " Abe commented. "Maybe he did, Abe, " Klinger said, "but he also got pretty near amillion dollars, and you know as well as I do, Abe, a feller what's amillionaire already don't got to marry off his daughter to a crook, y'understand. No, Abe, I changed my mind about that feller. I thinkKleebaum's a pretty decent feller, and ourselves we sold him goods fortwenty-five hundred dollars. " Abe puffed hard on his cigar for a moment. "Couldn't you get from the old man a guarantee of the account maybe?"he asked. "I sent Klein around there this morning, Abe, " Klinger answered, "andPfingst says if Kleebaum is good enough to marry his daughter, he's goodenough for us to sell goods to, and certainly, Abe, you couldn't blamethe old man neither. " Abe nodded, and a moment later he rose to leave. "You shouldn't look so worried about it, Abe, " Sol Klinger said. "Everybody is selling that feller this year. " "Well, Mawruss, " Abe cried on Tuesday morning, "I got to confess that Iain't learned nothing new about that feller Kleebaum. Everybody what Iseen it speaks very highly of him, Mawruss, and the way I figure it, hebought goods for fifty thousand dollars in the last four days. Klinger &Klein sold him, Sammet Brothers sold him, and even Lapidus & Elenbogenain't left out. I couldn't understand it at all. " "Couldn't you?" Morris retorted. "Well, I could, Abe. That feller isincreasing his business, Abe, because he's got good backing, y'understand. He's engaged to be married to Julie Pfingst and her fatherJoseph Pfingst is a millionaire. " "Sure, I know, Mawruss, I seen lots of them millionaires in my timealready. Millionaires which everyone thinks is millionaires until thefirst meeting of creditors, and then, Mawruss, they make a compositionfor twenty cents cash and thirty cents notes at three, six and ninemonths. Multi-millionaires sometimes pay twenty-five cents cash, butotherwise the notes is the same like millionaires, three, six and ninemonths, and you could wrap up dill pickles in 'em for all the goodthey'll do you. " "What are you talking nonsense, Abe? This feller, Pfingst, is amillionaire. He's got a big oitermobile business and sells ten cars aweek at twenty-five hundred dollars apiece. Here it is only Tuesday, Abe, and that feller sold two oitermobiles already. " "Did you count 'em, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Sure, I counted 'em, " Morris replied. He looked boldly into Abe'seyes as he spoke. "One of 'em he sold to Sol Klinger and the otherhe sold to me. " If Morris anticipated making a sensation he was not disappointed. Forten minutes Abe struggled to sort out a few enunciable oaths from themass of profanity that surged through his brain and at length hesucceeded. "I always thought you was crazy, Mawruss, " he said after the firstparoxysm had exhausted itself, "and now I know it. " "Why am I crazy?" Morris asked. "When a feller lives out in Johnsonhurstyou must practically got to have an oitermobile, otherwise you are adead one. And anyhow, Abe, couldn't I spend my money the way I want to?" "Sure, you could, " Abe said. "But you didn't spend it the way _you_wanted to, Mawruss. Kleebaum got you to buy the oitermobile. Ain't it?" "Suppose he did, Abe? Kleebaum is a customer of ours. Ain't it? And hegot me also a special price on the car. Twenty-one hundred dollars hewill get me the car for, Abe, and Fixman looked over the car and he saysit's a great piece of work, Abe. He ain't got the slightest idee what Iam paying for the car and he says it is well worth twenty-five hundreddollars. " Abe shrugged his shoulders. "All right, Mawruss, " he said. "It's your funeral. Go ahead and buy theoitermobile; only I tell you right now, Mawruss, you are sinkingtwenty-one hundred dollars cash. " "Not cash, Abe, " Morris corrected. "Pfingst is willing to take a sixmonths' note provided it is indorsed by Potash & Perlmutter. " It seemed hardly possible to Morris that more poignant emotion could bedisplayed than in Abe's first reception of his news, but this lastsuggestion almost finished Abe. For fifteen minutes he fought offapoplexy and then the storm burst. "Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris protested at the first lull, "you'll makeyourself sick. " But Abe paused only to regain his breath, and it was at least fiveminutes more before his vocabulary became exhausted. Then he sat downin a chair and mopped his brow, while Morris hastened off to thecutting-room from whence he was recalled a minute later by a shoutfrom Abe. "By jimminy, Mawruss!" he cried slapping his knee. "I got an idee. Goahead and buy your oitermobile from Pfingst and I will agree that Potash& Perlmutter should endorse the note, y'understand, only one thingbesides. Pfingst has got to guarantee to us Kleebaum's account oftwenty-one hundred dollars. " "I'm afraid he wouldn't do it, Abe, " Morris said. "All right, then I wouldn't do it neither, " Abe declared. "But anyhow, Mawruss, it wouldn't do no harm to ask him. Ain't it? Where is this herefeller Pfingst?" "At Fiftieth Street and Broadway, " Morris said. "Well, lookyhere, Mawruss, " Abe announced jumping to his feet, "I'mgoing right away and fill out one of them guarantees what Henry D. Feldman fixes up for us, and also I will write out a note at six monthsfor twenty-one hundred dollars and indorse it with the firm's name. Thenif he wants to you could exchange the note for the guarantee, Mawruss, and we could ship the goods right away. " Morris shook his head doubtfully, while Abe went into the firm's privateoffice. He returned five minutes afterward flourishing the guarantee. It read as follows: In consideration of one dollar and other good and valuable considerations I do hereby agree to pay to Potash & Perlmutter Twenty-one hundred dollars ($2100) being the amount of a purchase made by J. Edward Kleebaum from them, if he fails to pay said twenty-one hundred dollars ($2100) on May 21st, 1909. I hereby waive notice of Kleebaum's default and Potash & Perlmutter shall not be required to exhaust their remedy against the said Kleebaum before recourse is had to me. If a petition in bankruptcy be filed by or against said Kleebaum in consideration aforesaid I promise to pay to Potash & Perlmutter on demand the said sum of twenty-one hundred dollars. "If he signs that, Mawruss, " Abe said, "you are safe in giving him thenote. " Morris put on his hat and lit a cigar. "I will do this thing to satisfy you, Abe, " he said, "but I tell youright now, Abe, it ain't necessary, because Kleebaum is as good asgold, y'understand, and if you don't want to ship him the goods youdon't have to. " Abe grinned ironically. "How could you talk like that, Mawruss, when the feller is doing you afavor by selling you that oitermobile for twenty-one hundred dollars!"he said. "And besides, Mawruss, if we ship him the goods and he doesbust up on us, Pfingst is got to pay the twenty-one hundred dollars, andhe couldn't make no claims for shortages or extra discounts neither. " "The idee is all right, Abe, " Morris replied as he opened the show-roomdoor, "if the feller would sign it, which I don't think he would. " With this ultimatum he hastened uptown to Pfingst's warerooms, where heassured the automobile dealer that unless the guarantee was signed, there would be no sale of the car, for he flatly declined to pay cashand Pfingst refused to accept the purchaser's note without Potash &Perlmutter's indorsement. After a lengthy discussion Pfingst recededfrom his position and signed the guarantee, whereupon Morris surrenderedthe note and returned to his place of business. On April 21st Potash & Perlmutter shipped Kleebaum's order, and one weeklater Morris moved out to Johnsonhurst. Five days after his migration tothat garden spot of Greater New York he entered the firm's show-room ata quarter past ten. "We got blocked at Flatbush Avenue this morning, " he said to Abe, "and----" But Abe was paying no attention to his partner's excuses. Instead hethrust a morning paper at Morris and with a trembling forefingerindicated the following scarehead: RICH GIRL WEDS OWN CHAUFFEUR PFINGST FAMILY SHOCKED BY JULIA'S ELOPEMENT PAIR REPORTED IN SOUTH HEIRESS WAS ABOUT TO WED WEALTHY MERCHANT BEFORE FLIGHT OCCURRED "What d'ye think of that, Mawruss, " Abe cried. Morris read the story carefully before replying. "That's a hard blow to Kleebaum and old man Pfingst, Abe, " he said. "I bet yer, " Abe replied, "but it ain't near the hard blow it's going tobe to a couple of concerns what you and me know, Mawruss. Klinger toldme only yesterday that Kleebaum would get twenty thousand with thatgirl, Mawruss, and I guess he needed it, Mawruss. Moe Rabiner says thatthey got weather like January already out in Minnesota, and every retaildry-goods concern is kicking that they ain't seen a dollar's worth ofbusiness this spring. " "But Kleebaum's got a tremendous following in Minneapolis, Abe, " Morrissaid. "He's got an oitermobile delivery system. " "Don't pull that on me again, Mawruss, " Abe broke in. "Women ain'tbuying summer garments in cold weather just for the pleasure of seeingthe goods delivered in an oitermobile, which reminds me, Mawruss: DidPfingst deliver you his oitermobile yet?" Morris blushed. "It was delivered yesterday, Abe, " he replied. "But the fact is, Abe, Ikinder changed my mind about that oitermobile. With oitermobiles I am anew beginner already, so I figure it out this way. Why should I go towork and try experiments with a high price car like that Pfingst car?Ain't it? Now, you take a feller like Fixman who is already an expert, y'understand, and that's something else again. Fixman tried out the carlast night, Abe, and he thinks it's an elegant car. So I made anarrangement with him that he should pay me fifteen hundred dollars cashand I would swap the Pfingst car for a 1907 model, Appalachian runabout. That's a fine oitermobile, Abe, that Appalachian runabout. In the firstplace, it's got a detachable tonneau and holds just as many people asthe Pfingst car already, only it ain't so complicated. Instead of a sixcylinder engine, Abe, it's only got a two cylinder engine. " "Two is enough for a start, Mawruss, " Abe commented. "Sure, " Morris agreed, "and then again instead of a double chain driveits only got a single chain drive, y'understand. " Abe nodded. To him planetary and selective transmission were even asconic sections. "Also it's got dry battery ignition, Abe, " Morris concludedtriumphantly, "instead of one of them--now--magneto arrangements, which I ain't got no confidence in at all. " Abe nodded again. "I never had no confidence in dagoes neither, " he said. "Fellers whichcouldn't speak the English language properly, y'understand, is bound todo you sooner or later. " "So Fixman and me goes around last night to see a feller what lives outin Johnsonhurst by the name Eleazer Levy which Fixman got it for alawyer, and we drew a bill of sale then and there, Abe, and Fixman giveme a check for fifteen hundred dollars on the Kosciusko Bank. " "Was it certified?" Abe asked. "Well, it _wasn't_, " Morris replied, "but I stopped off at the KosciuskoBank this morning and----" "You done right, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted. "The first thing you knowFixman would claim that the oitermobile ain't the same shade of red likethe sample, Mawruss, and stops the check. " "Fixman ain't that kind, Abe, " Morris retorted. "The only reason Icertified the check was that I happened to be in the neighborhood of thebank, because when you are at the Bridge, Abe, all you got to do is totake a Third Avenue car up Park Row to the Bowery and transfer to GrandStreet. Then you ride over ten blocks and get out at Clinton Street, y'understand, and walk four blocks over. So long as it's so convenient, Abe, I just stopped in and got it certified. " "A little journey like that I would think convenient, too, if I wouldgot to travel to Johnsonhurst every day, Mawruss, " Abe commented, "andanyhow, Mawruss, in a swap one of the fellers is always got an ideehe's stuck. " "Well, it ain't me, Abe, " Morris protested, "and just to show you, Abe, me and Minnie wants you and Rosie you should come out and take dinnerwith us on Sunday, and afterwards we could go out for a ride in therunabout. " "_Gott soll hüten_, " Abe replied piously. "What d'ye mean!" Morris cried. "You wouldn't come out and have dinnerwith us?" "Sure, we will come to dinner, Mawruss, " Abe said, "but if we want to gofor a ride, Mawruss, a trolley car is good enough for Rosie and me. " Nevertheless the following Sunday found Abe and Rosie snugly enclosed inthe detachable tonneau of the Appalachian runabout, while Morris sat atthe tiller with Minnie by his side and negotiated the easy grades ofrural Long Island at the decent speed of ten miles an hour. "Ain't it wonderful, " Abe exclaimed, "what changes comes about in acouple of years already! Former times when a lodge brother died, I usedto think the ride out to Cypress Hills was a pleasure already, Mawruss, but when I think how rotten the roads was and what poor accommodationsthem carriages was compared to this, Mawruss, I'm surprised that I couldhave enjoyed myself at all. This here oitermobile riding is somethingwhat you would call really comfortable, Mawruss. " But Abe's observations were ill-timed, for hardly had he finishedspeaking when the runabout slowed down to the accompaniment of loudexplosions in the muffler. Rosie's shrieks mingled with Abe'sexclamations, and when at length the car came to a stand-stilland the explosions ceased Abe scrambled down and helped out thehalf-fainting Rosie. "Any car is liable to do that, " Morris explained as Minnie searched fora bottle of liquid restorative. "I could fix it in five minutes. " At length Minnie found the bottle in the tire box, which contained, instead of a tire, two dozen sandwiches, eight cold frankfurters, somedill pickles and a _ringkuchen_, for they did not contemplate returningto Johnsonhurst until long past supper time. Morris' estimate of the repair job's duration proved slightlyinaccurate. He messed around with his tool bag and explored thecarburetter again and again until two hours had elapsed without result. During this period only a few motor cars had passed, for the road wasnot a popular automobile thoroughfare. At length a large red car boredown on them, and as it came within a hundred yards it slowed down andcame to a stop beside the Appalachian runabout. "Well, well, " cried a familiar voice, "if this ain't the whole firm ofPotash & Perlmutter. " Abe looked up. "Hallo, Kleebaum, " he exclaimed, "I thought you was home inMinneapolis. What are you doing in New York?" "This ain't New York by about forty miles, " Kleebaum replied. He wasseated at the side of a square-jawed professional chauffeur who eyedwith ill-concealed mirth Morris' very unprofessional handling ofautomobile tools. "Lemme look at it, " the chauffeur said, as he climbed from his seat. Hegave a hasty glance at the dry battery ignition and laugheduproariously. "You'se guys will stay here till Christmas if you expect to get that carinto running condition, " he said. "The only thing for you'se to do is tolet me give you a tow into Jamaica. They'll fix you up at the garagethere. " "I'm much obliged to you, " Morris replied. "Don't mention it, " the chauffeur went on. "I won't charge youunreasonable. Ten dollars is my figure. " "What!" Abe and Morris cried with one voice. "Why, you wouldn't charge these gentlemen nothing, " Kleebaum said with aviolent wink. "They're friends of mine. " "I know they was friends of yours, " the chauffeur replied, "and that'swhy I made it ten dollars. Anyone else I'd say twenty. " For almost half an hour Abe and Morris haggled with the chauffeur. Theywere vigorously supported by Kleebaum, who punctuated his scathingcondemnation of the chauffeur's greed with a series of surreptitiouswinks which encouraged the latter to remain firm in his demand. FinallyMorris peeled off two five-dollar bills and an hour later theAppalachian runabout was ignominiously hauled into a Jamaica garage. The chauffeur alighted from his car and drew the proprietor of thegarage aside into his private office. "Billy, " he said in a hoarse whisper, "this here baby carriage is gotthe oldest brand of dry battery ignition and one of the wires has comeloose from the binding screw. It'll take about a minute and a halfto fix. " The proprietor nodded and passed over a dollar bill. Then he sprang outonto the floor of the garage. "Ryan, " he bellowed to his foreman, "get the big jack, and tell Schwartzto start up the motor lathe. " Then he turned to Abe and Mawruss. "This here'll be a two hours' job, gents, " he said, "and I advise you toget your supper at the hotel acrosst the street. " "But how much is it going to cost us?" Morris asked. For five minutes the proprietor figured on the back of an envelope. "Fifteen dollars and twenty-two cents, " he said, and Abe and Morrisstaggered to the street, followed by their wives. Twenty minutes later Kleebaum and the chauffeur drew up in front of aroad house. "Your blow, " the chauffeur cried. Kleebaum nodded. "Come across with that five first, " he said, and after the transfer hadbeen made they disappeared into the sabbatical entrance. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe exclaimed when Morris entered the show-room atten o'clock the next morning. "What did I told you last week! Wasn'tI right?" "I know you told me that one party to a swap was practically bound toget stuck, Abe, " Morris admitted, "but with an oitermobile----" "Again oitermobile!" Abe cried. "You got oitermobile on the brain, Mawruss. Whenever I open my mouth, Mawruss, you got an idee I'm going totalk about oitermobiles. This is something else again. Didn't you get amorning paper, Mawruss?" Morris shrugged. "When a feller lives out in a place called Johnsonhurst, Abe, " hereplied sadly, "he is lucky if he could get a cup of coffee before heleaves the house. Our range is busted. " "Something else is busted, too, Mawruss, " Abe said as he handed themorning paper to Morris. The page which contained the "BusinessTroubles" column was folded at the following news item: J. EDWARD KLEEBAUM, Minneapolis, Minn. The Wonder Cloak and Suit Store, J. Edward Kleebaum, Proprietor, was closed up by the sheriff under an execution in favor of Joseph Pfingst, who recovered a judgment yesterday in the Supreme Court for $5800, money loaned. Kleebaum is supposed to be in New York trying to make some arrangements with his creditors. Later in the day a petition in bankruptcy was filed against him by Kugler, Jacobi and Henck representing the following New York creditors:--Klinger & Klein, $2500; Sammet Brothers, $1800; Lapidus & Elenbogen, $750. Morris handed the paper back to his partner. "Well, Abe, " he said, "what are we going to do about it?" "We already done it, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I sent down Pfingst'sguarantee to Henry D. Feldman at nine o'clock already, and I told him heshouldn't wait, but if Pfingst wouldn't pay up to-day yet to sue him inthe courts. " Morris shrugged his shoulders. "We shouldn't be in such a hurry, Abe, " he said. "Pfingst treated usright, and why shouldn't we give him a chance to make good?" "Because he don't deserve it, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined as he started offfor the show-room. "If he would of took better care of his daughter shewouldn't of run off with this here chauffeur, and Kleebaum wouldn't gotto fail. Also, Mawruss, you shouldn't talk that way neither, because ifit wouldn't be for Pfingst you wouldn't got stuck with that oitermobilewhich we rode in it yesterday. " "Well, I ain't out much on it, Abe. " "What d'ye mean you ain't out much on it?" Abe exclaimed. "It stands youin six hundred dollars, ain't it?" "Sure, I know, " Morris replied, "but this morning I come downtown withthe feller what rents us the house out in Johnsonhurst and you neverseen a feller so crazy about oitermobiles in all your life, Abe. " "Except you, Mawruss, " Abe broke in. "Me, I ain't so crazy about 'em no longer, " Morris declared. "So I fixedit up with this feller that he should take the Appalachian runabout offmy hands for four hundred dollars and he should also give me acancelation of the lease which we got of his house. Furthermore, Abe, he pays our moving expenses back to a Hundred and Eighteenth Street. " Abe sat down in the nearest chair. "So you're going to move back to a Hundred and Eighteenth Street, Mawruss, " he exclaimed. "Why, what's the matter with Johnsonhurst, Mawruss? I thought you told it me Johnsonhurst was such a fine place. " "So it is, Abe, " Morris admitted. "The air is great out there, Abe, butat the same time, Abe, the air ain't so rotten on a Hundred andEighteenth Street neither, y'understand, and the train service is awhole lot better. " "You're right, Mawruss, " Abe said, "and with all these oitermobile ridesand things you waste too much time already. A feller should alwaysconsider business ahead of pleasure. " Morris looked at his bruised and oil stained hands. "Oitermobile riding!" he cried. "That's a pleasure, Abe. Believe me I'das lief work in a rolling mill. " CHAPTER XVI Morris Perlmutter's front parlor represented an eclectic taste, and thefine arts had been liberally patronized in its decoration. On the wallhung various subjects in oil, including still life, landscapes, marinescenes and figures, all of which had been billed to Morris by aFourteenth Street dealer as: 8/12 dozen assorted oil paintings @ $96 $64 8/12 dozen shadow boxes for paintings @ 12 8 ___ $72 But it was not at the oil paintings that B. Rashkin gazed. His eyessought instead the framed and glazed certificate of membership of MorrisPerlmutter in Harmony Lodge 41, Independent Order Mattai Aaron. "Them very people hold the mortgage, Mr. Perlmutter, " Rashkin said, "andwith the influence what you got it in the order, why----" "Lookyhere, Rashkin, " Perlmutter interrupted, "you're a real estater, and if you don't get up at eight o'clock then you get up at nine, andit's all the same; but me, I am in the cloak business, and I got to getdowntown at seven o'clock, and so I'm going to tell you again what Itold it you before. Go and see Abe to-morrow, and put this propositionup to him like it was something you never told me nothing about, y'understand? Then if he makes the suggestion to me, Rashkin, I wouldsay all right. Because if it should be me what would make the suggestionto him, y'understand, he wouldn't have nothing to do with it. And evenif he should consent to go into it, and if we lost money on the deal, Rashkin, I wouldn't never hear the end of it. " Rashkin nodded and seized his hat. "All right, " he said, "I will do what you say, Mr. Perlmutter. But withthem three lots it's like this: they're owned by----" Morris yawned with a noise like a performing sea lion. "Tell it to Potash to-morrow, Rashkin, " he said, and led the way to thehall door. Accordingly the next morning Rashkin entered the salesroom of Potash &Perlmutter, where Abe was scanning the "Arrival of Buyers" column in theDaily Cloak and Suit Record. "Good morning, Mr. Potash, " B. Rashkin said. "Ain't it a fine weather?" "Oh, good morning, " Abe cried. "You don't know my face, do you?" Rashkin said. "I know your face, " Abe said, "but your name ain't familiar. I guess Iseen you in Seattle, ain't it?" B. Rashkin nodded. He had never been farther West than Jersey CityHeights. "Well, how is things in Seattle, Mister--er----" "Rashkin, " B. Rashkin supplied. "Rashkin?" Abe went on, and then he paused, but not for an answer. "Rashkin--why, I don't know no one from that name in Seattle. " "No?" Rashkin replied. "Well, the fact is, Mr. Potash, I ain't come tosee you about Seattle. I come to see you about three lots up in TwoHundred and Sixty-fourth Street. " The urbane smile faded at once from Abe's face and gave place to adark scowl. "Oh!" he exclaimed, "a real estater. I ain't got no time to fool awaywith real estaters. " "This ain't fooling away your time, Mr. Potash, " Rashkin said. "Let meexplain the proposition to you. " Without waiting for permission he at once divulged the object of hisvisit, while Abe listened with the bored air of an unemployed leadingman at a professional matinée. "Yes, Mr. Potash, " B. Rashkin concluded, after half an hour'sconversation, "I seen it bargains in my time, but these here lots is thebiggest bargains yet. " "Vacant lots ain't never bargains, Rashkin, " Abe commented. "What's theuse from vacant lots, anyway? A feller what's got vacant lots is like Iwould say I am in the cloak business if I only get it an empty storewith nothing in it. " Abe glanced proudly around him at the well-stocked racks, where the newseason's goods were neatly arranged for prospective buyers. "But the real-estate business ain't like the cloak business, Mr. Potash, " B. Rashkin said. "Real estate!" Abe interrupted. "Vacant lots ain't no real estate, Rashkin. Vacant lots is just imitation real estate. You couldn't say yougot it real estate when you only got vacant lots, no more as a fellerwhat buys a gold setting could say he's got it a diamond ring. " "Diamonds is something else again, " said B. Rashkin. "I ain't no judgeof diamonds, Mr. Potash, but about real estate, Mr. Potash, I ain't nofool neither, y'understand, and these here three lots what I talk to youabout is the only three vacant lots in the neighborhood. " "Might you think that's a recommendation, maybe, Rashkin, " Abe replied, "but I don't. You come around here to try to sell it me a couple oflots, and you got to admit yourself they're stickers. " "They ain't stickers, Mr. Potash, " B. Rashkin protested. "No?" Abe said. "What's the reason they ain't stickers, Rashkin? If theyain't stickers why ain't somebody built on 'em?" "You don't understand, " B. Rashkin explained. "Them lots is an estatethat was in litigation, and it's only just been settled up; so that theycouldn't sell 'em no matter who would want to buy 'em. Now I got 'em toentertain an offer of eighty-three thirty-three apiece, or twenty-fivethousand for the three lots, all cash above a blanket mortgage of tenthousand dollars held by the Independent Order Mattai Aaron. I seen italso Milton M. Sugarman, the attorney for the I. O. M. A. , and he tellsme that they would probably be agreeable to make a building loan on themlots of twenty-five thousand on each thirty-seven six front. " "That don't interest me none neither, " Abe replied, "because I ain't inthe building business, Rashkin; I am in the cloak and suit business. " "Sure, I know, " said Rashkin; "but this is an opportunity which itwouldn't occur again oncet in twenty years. " "Don't limit yourself, Rashkin, " Abe retorted. "Make it fifty years. It's all the same to me, because I wouldn't touch it, Rashkin. " "But, Mr. Potash, " Rashkin broke in, "if your partner, Mr. Perlmutter, would be agreeable, wouldn' you consider it?" "What's the use asking me hypocritical questions, Rashkin?" Abe replied. "Mawruss would no more touch it as I would. You don't know what a crankI got it for a partner, Rashkin. If I would just hint that I wanted tobuy real estate, y'understand, that feller would go all up in the air. And even if he would buy it with me yet, and we should lose maybe alittle money, I would never hear the end of it. That's the way it goeswith a feller like Mawruss Perlmutter, Rashkin. " B. Rashkin put on his hat and rose sadly. "Well, Mr. Potash, " he concluded, "all I can say is you lost a splendidopportunity. Why, if I could only get it a feller to take over one ofthem thirty-seven six parcels, I would buy the other one myself and putup a fine building there?" "I'm sure I ain't stopping you, Rashkin, " Abe said. "Go ahead and build, and I wish you all the luck you could want; and if you should getsomebody else to take the other one and a half lots, I wish him the sameand many of 'em. Also, Rashkin, if I was a real estater I would be gladto fool away my time with you, Rashkin, but being as I am in the cloakbusiness I--you ain't going, Rashkin, are you?" Rashkin answered by banging the door behind him and Abe repaired to thecutting-room, where Morris Perlmutter was superintending the receptionand disposal of piece goods. "Who was that salesman you was talking to a while ago, Abe?" he askedinnocently. "That wasn't no salesman, Mawruss; that was a loafer, " Abe replied. "A loafer!" Morris said. "He didn't look like a loafer, Abe. He lookedlike a real estater. " "Well, Mawruss, " said Abe, "to me a real estater looks like a loafer, especially, Mawruss, when he comes around with a bum proposition like hegot it. " "What for a proposition was it, Abe?" Morris asked. "Ask me!" Abe exclaimed. "That real estater gives me a long story aboutsome vacant lots, and an estate, and the Independent Order Mattai Aaron, and a lot more stuff what I don't believe the feller understands abouthimself. " "But there you was talking to that real estater pretty near an hour, Abe, and you couldn't even tell it me what he wants at all, " Morrisprotested. "To tell you the truth, Mawruss, " Abe replied, "I ain't interested inwhat real estaters says. Real estaters, insurance canvassers and bookagents, Mawruss, is all the same to me. They go in by one ear and comeout by the other. " "Why, for all you know, Abe, the feller would have maybe some bigbargains. " "If you are looking for bargains like that feller got it, Mawruss, " Aberetorted, "you could find plenty of 'em by green-goods men. If you giveme my choice between gold bricks and vacant lots, Mawruss, I would saygold bricks. " Morris turned away impatiently. "What do you know about real estate, Abe?" he cried. "Not much, Mawruss, " Abe admitted, "but I know one thing about goldbricks, Mawruss: you don't got to pay no taxes on 'em. " That evening B. Rashkin again presented himself at the One Hundred andEighteenth Street residence of Morris Perlmutter, and with him cameIsaac Pinsky, of the firm of Pinsky & Gubin, architects. Mr. Pinsky hada roll of blue-prints under his arm and a strong line of convincingargument at the tip of his tongue, and the combination proved too muchfor Morris. Before Rashkin and Pinsky left that evening, Morris hadundertaken to purchase a plot thirty-seven feet six inches by onehundred feet, adjacent to a similar plot to be purchased by Rashkin. Moreover, he and Rashkin engaged themselves to erect two houses, one oneach lot, from the plans and specifications that Pinsky held under hisarm. Each house was to be identical with the other in design, construction and material, and an appointment was then and there madefor noon the next day at the office of Henry D. Feldman, attorney atlaw, for the purpose of more formally consummating the deal. Thus, when Morris entered the show-room the next morning it became hisduty to break the news to his partner, and he approached Abe with anow-for-it air. "Well, Abe, " he said, "you was wrong. " "Sure, I was, Mawruss, " Abe replied amiably. "With you I am alwayswrong. What's the matter now?" "You was wrong about that feller Rashkin, " Morris explained. "He was upto my house last night, and put the same proposition up to me what hetold it you yesterday, and the way I figure it, Abe, we would make moneyon the deal. " "I ain't so good on figures what you are, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "All Ican figure is I got enough to do to attend to my own business, Mawruss, without going into the building business. " "But we wouldn't got to go into the building business, Abe, " Morrisprotested. "All we got to do is to put down eight thousand dollars forthe lot. Then the I. O. M. A. Makes us a building loan of twenty-fivethousand dollars. Rashkin's got plans and specifications drawn by Pinsky& Gubin, a first-class, A Number One archy-teck concern, for which hewouldn't charge us nothing, and then, Abe----" He paused to fix Abe's attention before finishing his explanation. "And then, Abe, " he continued, "we hire my Minnie's brother, Ferdy, whatknows the building business from A to Z, to build it the house for us. All we would got to do is to put up the four thousand apiece, Abe, andwhen the house is finished Rashkin says we could sell it like a flash. " "I never sold a flash, Mawruss, " Abe said; "and, anyhow, Mawruss, whileI ain't saying nothing about your Minnie's family, y'understand, if Iwould got to go into a deal with a horse-thief like Ferdy Rothschild, y'understand, I would take my money first and deposit it for safety withsome of them fellers up in Sing Sing. Such a show I should have ofgetting it back, Mawruss. " "Lookyhere, Abe, " Morris said, "before you would make some cracks aboutmy Minnie's family, how about your Rosie's brother, the one what----" "S'all right, Mawruss, " Abe broke in. "I ain't saying my wife's brotheris so much, neither. This is the way I feel about a feller's wife'sbrother: If he got a little money then he treats you like a dawg, Mawruss, and if he's broke, y'understand, then your wife gives him allyour cigars and ties, and if you should happen to have the same sizeneck, Mawruss, then all your life you are buying collars and shirts fortwo. No, Mawruss, I ain't got no confidence in anybody's wife's brother, especially, Mawruss, if a feller should make it a dirty failure likeFerdy Rothschild did and then takes all the money and blows it in on thehorse-races. " "That's from old times already, " Morris protested. "To-day he's adecent, hard-working feller, Abe, and for two years he's been workingfor the Rheingold Building and Construction Company. What he don't knowabout putting up tenement houses, Abe, ain't worth knowing. " "And what I don't know about putting up tenement houses, Mawruss, " Abesaid, "would fill one of them Carnegie Libraries, Mawruss; and also, furthermore, Mawruss, I don't want to know nothing about it, neither. And also, Mawruss, if you should stand there and talk to me all day itwouldn't make no difference. If you want to build tenement houses, Mawruss, you got my permission; but you could leave me out. I got my owntroubles with cloaks. " Morris rose. "All right, Abe, " he said. "I give you your chance, Abe, and youwouldn't take it. " "What d'ye mean, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "I mean, Abe, that I will go into this alone by myself, and only onething I beg of you, Abe: don't come to me in six months' time and claimthat I wouldn't let you in on a good thing. I have done my best. " The air of simple dignity with which Morris delivered his ultimatum wasmarred to some extent by a raucous laugh from Abe. "Don't do me no favors, Mawruss, " he jeered. "All I got to say is thatif I was you, Mawruss, I would get this here archy-teck and B. Rashkin, and also your brother-in-law, Ferdy, together, and I would make 'em anoffer of settlement for, say, three thousand dollars, Mawruss. Becausethe way I figure it out, this thing would stand you in as much money asthat and a whole lot of worry, too. " "You shouldn't be so generous with your advice, Abe, " Morris retorted. "Oh, I don't charge you nothing for it, Mawruss, " Abe said, as he turnedto the "Arrival of Buyers" column, and, for lack of appropriaterejoinder, Morris snorted indignantly and banged the show-room doorbehind him. For the remainder of the afternoon Abe's face wore a malicious grin. Itwas there when Morris left to keep his appointment at Henry D. Feldman'soffice, and when he returned four hours later the malice, if anything, had intensified. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe cried, "I suppose you fixed it all up?" "It don't go so quick, Abe, " Morris replied. His manner was as cheerfulas only that of a man who has struggled hard to repress a fit of violentprofanity can be--for the meeting at Henry D. Feldman's office had beenfraught with many nerve-racking incidents. _Imprimis_, there had beenFeldman's retainer, a generous one, and then had come the discussion ofthe building-loan agreement with Milton M. Sugarman, attorney for theI. O. M. A. Feldman assured Morris that it was customary for the borrower to pay thefees of the attorney for the lender, incidental to drawing and recordingthe necessary papers, and Morris had also learned that the high premiumsof insurance for the building to be erected would come out of hispocket. Moreover, he had seen B. Rashkin credited with commissions forbringing about Morris' purchase of the lot, and for the first time hehad ascertained that he also owed B. Rashkin two hundred and fiftydollars commission for procuring a building loan from the I. O. M. A. So far he reckoned that his investment exceeded B. Rashkin's by athousand dollars, and when he considered that B. Rashkin would be hisown superintendent of construction, while he, Morris, would be obligedto hire Ferdy Rothschild, at a compensation of seven hundred and fiftydollars, to perform that same office for him, Abe's advice appeared toosound to be pleasant. "No, Abe, " he said, "it don't go so quick. I got another appointment fornext week. " Abe grunted. "All I got to say, Mawruss, " he commented, "you shouldn't forget you area partner in a cloak and suit business. " "Don't worry, " Morris replied; "you wouldn't let me forget that, Abe. "He strode off toward the cutting-room and once more Abe resumed hisfixed grin. It must be confessed that through the entire six months of his buildingoperations Morris maintained a stoic calm that effectually hid the stormraging within his breast. All the annoyances incidental to building ahouse were heaped on Morris, and both he and Rashkin, equally, sufferedpetty blackmail at the hands of the attorney and the architect for thebuilding-loan mortgagee. In the meantime Abe's grin gained in breadth and malice, and on morethan one occasion Morris had foregone the pleasure of assaulting hispartner only by the exercise of remarkable self-control. "Do me the favor, Abe, " he said at length, "and let me in on this joke. " "It ain't no joke, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I thought you found that outalready. " "If you mean the house, Abe, " Morris answered, "all I got to say isthat, if there should be any joke about it, Abe, the joke is on you, forthat house is pretty near finished. " "I'm glad to hear it, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I suppose Ferdy Rothschilddid it a good job on the house. " "Sure, he did, " Morris said. "He didn't get no rake-offs from material men or nothing, Mawruss. What?" Abe asked. "Rake-offs!" Morris cried. "What d'ye mean by that?" "I mean I seen it Gussarow, the glass man, on the subway last night, Mawruss, " Abe explained, "and he says that for every pane of glass whatwent into your house, Mawruss, Ferdy Rothschild gets his rake-off. " "Well, what do I care?" Morris retorted. "If Gussarow could stand it, Abe, I can. " "Gussarow can stand it all right, Mawruss, " Abe said reassuringly. "Allhe's got to do is to put it on the bill. " "Well, if he put it on my bill, Abe, " Morris replied, "he also put it onRashkin's bill, because him and me bought the same building material allthe way through, and I wouldn't pay no bills till I saw that Rashkindon't get charged less as I do. " This was conclusive, and Abe's grin relaxed for several inches, nor didit resume its normal width until some days later when Morris began tonegotiate for his permanent mortgage loan. Once Morris remonstrated withhim for his levity. "Must you go around looking like a crazy idiot, Abe?" "I must got to laugh, Mawruss, " Abe protested, "when I seen it SamFeder, of the Kosciusko Bank, this morning, and he tells it me you got apermanent mortgage from the I. O. M. A. He says Milton M. Sugarman toldhim you got it ahead of Rashkin, because you got influence as a lodgebrother of Sugarman. " "Sure, I did, " Morris admitted. "And then, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "Rashkin hears that the I. O. M. A. Isgoing to make you a permanent loan, so he goes to see Sugarman too. " "That's right, " Morris agreed. "And he says to Sugarman that so long as Sugarman is got to search thetitle to your house he wouldn't have to search the title to Rashkin'shouse, because both houses stands on the same piece of property. So hemakes a proposition that if Sugarman would charge him only a hundreddollars he would put in an application by the I. O. M. A. For apermanent loan. Otherwise he would get it from a life-insurancecompany. " Morris nodded ironically. "And Sugarman says he would do it, I suppose, " he broke in. "No, Abe, Sugarman ain't built that way. It costs me five hundred dollars for thatloan, Abe. " "I know it did, Mawruss, " Abe said, "and Feder says that Sugarman toldhim he charges you five hundred dollars, and so he don't want to be ahog, Mawruss, and, therefore, he closes with Rashkin for a hundred andfifty. " Morris' jaw dropped and he stared at Abe. "Furthermore, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "Rashkin comes in to see Feder theother day and tells Feder he would be glad to make a quick turn. And hetells Feder that house stands him in eight thousand dollars cash and hewould be glad to sell it for forty-four five, all cash above the newfirst mortgage of thirty-three thousand. " Morris nodded. "But, Abe, " he croaked, "how could he do that? Reckoning all themortgages and everything, and what I invested and paid out for buildingmaterial over and above the building loan, that house stands me in justeleven thousand two hundred and fifty dollars cash. If I would come outeven on that house I got to sell it for forty-five seven-fifty, and Ireckoned on forty-seven thousand as a fair price for the house. " "Sure, you did, " Abe said cheerfully. "And how that feller, Rashkin, could claim that his house stands him ineight thousand dollars cash is more as I could understand, Abe, " Morrissaid. "Because while I know it I spent for commissions and for FerdyRothschild a couple thousand more as Rashkin, Abe, our building materialcost the same, Abe. " "Sure it did--on the bills, Mawruss, " Abe replied; "but Gussarow saysthat of course he don't know nothing about the other material men, butwhen he sends the bill to you he also sends the same bill to Rashkin, and when you send him a check for your bill, Ferdy Rothschild gets fiveper cent. Also Rashkin sends Gussarow a check for his bill with fiveper cent. Discount, and Ferdy Rothschild _schmiers_ Rashkin atwenty-dollar note, and that's the way it goes. " Morris sat down in the nearest chair and blinked helplessly at Abe. "What do you think for a couple of crooks like that, Abe?" he croaked. "What do I think, Mawruss?" Abe repeated. "I think that one of 'em is abrother-in-law, Mawruss, and the other is a real estater, Mawruss, andthat's a bad combination. " "But I could make 'em arrested, Abe?" Morris declared, "and, by jimminy, I will do it, too. " Abe shrugged. "You couldn't do that, Mawruss, " he said, "because in the first place, Mawruss, your Minnie wouldn't stand for it; and in the second place, them two fellers would fix up a fine story between 'em and the judgewould let 'em go. And then, Mawruss, they would turn around and go towork and sue you for false arresting; and the first thing you know, Mawruss, it would stand you in a couple of thousand dollars more. " Morris nodded sadly. "I believe you're right, Abe, " he murmured. "Sure, I'm right, Mawruss, " Abe said; "and also, Mawruss, while Iwouldn't want to say nothing to make you feel worse already, I got tosay, Mawruss, that if you would believe I was right six months ago yet, you wouldn't got to believe I was right now. " Morris nodded again. He was thoroughly crushed, and he looked soappealingly at his partner that Abe was unable to withhold his comfortand advice. "Lookyhere, Mawruss, " he said, "a feller's got to make a mistakesometimes. Ain't it? And if he didn't get stuck for a couple of thousanddollars oncet in a while he wouldn't know the value of his money. Ain'tit? But as this thing stands now, Mawruss, I got an idee you ain't stuckso bad as what you think. " "No?" Morris said. "Why ain't I, Abe?" "Well, Mawruss, I'll tell you, " Abe began, with no clear conception ofhow he would finish. "You know me, Mawruss; I ain't a feller what's gota whole lot to say for myself, but I ain't got such bad judgment, neither, Mawruss. " "I seen fellers with worser judgment as you, Abe, " Morris said. Abe could not forbear a stare of astonishment at this grudgingadmission. "At last you got to admit it, Mawruss, " he cried; "but anyhow, Mawruss, go ahead and finish up this here permanent-mortgage-loan business, andthen, Mawruss, I will do all I can to help you out. " Morris rose to his feet. "Well, Abe, " he began in shaking tones, "I must got to say that I----" "Lookyhere, Mawruss, " Abe broke in savagely, "ain't we fooled awayenough time here this morning? Just because you got your troubles withthis here building, Mawruss, ain't no reason why we shouldn't attend tobusiness, Mawruss. " He handed Morris a black cigar, and as they started for the cutting-roomthey gave vent to their pent-up emotions in great clouds of comfortingsmoke. The next fortnight was fraught with so many disagreeable experiences forMorris that he appeared to age visibly, and once more Abe was moved toexpress his sympathy. "You shouldn't take on so, Mawruss, " he said, the morning after thepermanent loan was closed. "The first thing you know, Mawruss, you willbe getting a nervous break-up, already. " "I bet yer I would get a nervous break-up, Abe, " Morris agreed. "If youwould be me, Abe, you would get a nervous break-up, too. In the firstplace, Abe, I got to pay them suckers--them archy-tecks, Pinsky & Gubin, a hundred dollars before they would give it me their final certificate, and then, Abe, I got to _schmier_ it a feller in the tenement-housedepartment another hundred dollars. And then, Abe, I told it them othertwo crooks what I thought of 'em, Abe, and you ought to hear the waythat horse-thief talks back to me, already. " "Horse-thief!" Abe said. "Which one, Mawruss?" "That Ferdy Rothschild, Abe, " Morris continued. "So sure as I standhere, Abe, if that feller wouldn't be my wife's brother, I would makefor him a couple blue eyes he wouldn't forgot so quick. " "With a feller like that, Mawruss, " Abe said, "you shouldn't botheryourself at all. If you make a lowlife bum a couple blue eyes, he willmake you also a couple blue eyes, maybe, and that's all there is to it, Mawruss. But when you make it a crook like Ferdy Rothschild a coupleblue eyes, then that's something else again. Such a _schwindler_ likehim, Mawruss, would turn right around and sue you in the courts yet fordamages, and the first thing you know you are stuck for a couplethousand dollars. " "Well, I am through with him, anyhow, " Morris replied, "so we wouldn'ttalk no more about him. A dirty dawg like him, Abe, ain't wortha--a----" He was searching his mind for a sufficiently trivial standardof comparison when Abe interrupted him. "I thought you wasn't going to talk about him, Mawruss, " he said; "and, anyhow, Mawruss, what's the use talking about things what is pastalready? What we got to do now, Mawruss, is to sell that house. " "I know it, Abe, " Morris replied ruefully, "but how are we going to sellthat house with B. Rashkin going around offering to sell the identicalsame house for forty-four five? If I would be lucky enough to getforty-five seven-fifty for mine, Abe, I would still be out severalhundred dollars. " "You talk foolish, Mawruss; you would get forty-seven thousand, sure, for that house. " "Would I?" Morris cried. "How would I do that?" "Leave that to me, " Abe replied. He put on his hat and coat. "Where are you going, Abe?" Morris asked. Abe waggled his head solemnly. "You shouldn't ask me, Mawruss, " he said. "I got an idee. " It was a quarter to twelve when Abe left the loft building on NineteenthStreet, and he repaired immediately to the real-estate salesroom onVesey Street, where auction sales of real estate are held at noon daily. To this center of real-estate activity comes every real-estate broker ofthe East Side, together with his brothers from Harlem and the Bronx, andAbe felt reasonably sure that B. Rashkin would be on hand. Indeed, he had hardly entered the salesroom when he descried B. Rashkinstanding on the outskirts of a little throng that surrounded the rostrumof a popular auctioneer. "Now, gentlemen, " said the auctioneer, "what am I offered for thissix-story, four-family house. Remember, gentlemen, it is practically newand stands on a lot forty by a hundred. " "Forty thousand, " said a voice at Abe's elbow. "Come, gentlemen, " the auctioneer cried, "we ain't making you a presentof this house, exactly. Do I hear forty-one? Thank you, sir. Atforty-one--at forty-one--at----" Abe sidled up to B. Rashkin and in firm tones he made the next bid. "Forty-one five, " he said. "Forty-one five, " the auctioneer repeated, and B. Rashkin turned tolook at the bidder. He started visibly as he recognized Abe, whobowed coldly. "Why, hallo, Mr. Potash, " Rashkin exclaimed. "I didn't know you was inthe market for property. " "Why not?" Abe said. "Well, on account you got a partner who----" "You don't got to rub it in, Mr. Rashkin, " Abe interrupted. "If mypartner did know a good thing when he seen it, Mr. Rashkin, I don't needto be reminded of it. " "A good thing!" Rashkin said in puzzled accents. "Why, I ain't----" He stopped in time and forced himself to smile amiably. "Yes, Mr. Rashkin, " Abe went on, as he imperceptibly edged away from thecrowd. "Would you believe it, that feller tells me this morning he's gotalready a fine offer for the house?" "You don't tell me, " Rashkin said as they approached one of thesalesroom doors. He too was edging away from the crowd and congratulatedhimself that Abe had made no further bid. "I'm glad he should get it. For _mein_ part, Mr. Potash, I would be glad to sell my house, too. " Here he made a rapid mental calculation and arrived approximately atthe price that would yield Morris a profit. "I had myself an offer of forty-six seven-fifty for my house, Mr. Potash, " he hazarded. Abe was ostentatiously surprised. "So!" he said, with an elaborate assumption of recovering his composure. "Yes, Mr. Potash, " Rashkin went on. He was beginning to feel that thefigure was too low. "That's the offer I received and I wouldn't take acent less than forty-eight. " "Let me see, " Abe mused, as they paused in front of a bakery andlunchroom a few doors down the street. "You got a first mortgagethirty-three thousand dollars, and that would give you a pretty bigequity there, Mr. Rashkin. " "Wouldn't you come inside and take maybe a cup of coffee, Mr. Potash?"Rashkin suggested. "I shouldn't mind if I will, " Abe said; and they entered the bakerytogether. "Would you want all cash above the mortgage, Mr. Rashkin?" "Just now, Mr. Potash, " Rashkin replied, "I want a little something toeat. Give me a piece of _stollen_ and a cup of coffee. " "Milk separate?" the waitress asked. B. Rashkin nodded haughtily and then turned to Abe. "What will you have, Mr. Potash?" he asked. "Give me also a cup of coffee and a tongue sandwich, " he announced tothe waitress. "White or rye bread?" said the waitress. "Rye bread, " Abe replied. "We ain't got no rye bread; I could give you a roll sandwich, " shedeclared solemnly. "All right, give me a roll tongue sandwich, " Abe concluded, and oncemore addressed B. Rashkin. "Of course you would take back a second mortgage, Mr. Rashkin, " he said. "Well, I might take two or three thousand dollars, a purchase-moneymortgage, but no more, " Rashkin replied, as the waitress returnedempty-handed. "Rolls is all out, " she said. "I'll have to give you white bread. " "All right, " Abe replied. "Did you say Swiss cheese or store cheese?" she inquired mildly. "Tongue!" Abe and B. Rashkin roared with one voice. "Well, don't get mad about it, " the waitress cried, as she whisked awaytoward the coffee urns. "I'll tell you the truth, Mr. Potash, " B. Rashkin continued. "I givethat house to a number of real estaters, already, and I'm considering agood offer from a feller what Ferdy Rothschild brings me. The fellermakes me a fine offer, Mr. Potash, only he wants me to take back asecond mortgage of five thousand dollars; and I told Ferdy Rothschild ifhe could get his customer to make it all cash above a second mortgage ofthree thousand dollars I would consider it. Ferdy says he expects hiscustomer in to see him this afternoon, already, and he will let me knowbefore I go home to-night. " In this rare instance B. Rashkin was undergoing the novel experience ofspeaking the truth only slightly modified, for that very morning FerdyRothschild had produced a purchaser who was willing to pay forty-sixthousand dollars for Rashkin's house. This deal the purchaser proposedto consummate by taking the property subject to a first mortgage ofthirty-three thousand dollars, by executing a second mortgage of seventhousand dollars, and by paying the six thousand balance of the purchaseprice in cash. B. Rashkin had told Ferdy that if the customer would agree to pay eightthousand five hundred dollars in cash and to reduce the second mortgageproportionately, the deal would be closed; and Ferdy had promised to lethim know during the afternoon. "Lookyhere, Rashkin, " Abe said at length, "what's the use beating bushesaround? You know as well as I do that me and my partner don't get alongwell together, and I would like to teach that sucker a lesson that heshouldn't monkey no more with real estate, y'understand. I'll tell youright now, Rashkin, I would be willing to lose maybe a couple hundreddollars if I could get that house from you and sell it to the fellerwhat makes the offer to Mawruss Perlmutter. " "You and Perlmutter must be pretty good friends together, " Rashkincommented. "But, anyhow, I am perfectly willing to help you all I can, because when a feller practically calls you a bloodsucker and ahorse-thief, Mr. Potash, naturally you don't feel too friendly towardhim. But one thing I _got_ to say, Mr. Potash, and that is I couldn'tsell my house for a penny less than forty-eight thousand dollars. " Abe put down his cup of coffee and stared at Rashkin. "That's a lot of money, Mr. Rashkin, " Abe said, "and that would meanpretty near twelve thousand cash. " B. Rashkin nodded calmly and Abe pondered for a moment. "Well, Rashkin, " Abe said, "I am willing I should spend some money, y'understand, and so I would make you this offer: Would you give me anoption on the house at forty-eight thousand for two weeks, supposing Ipaid you, we will say, two hundred dollars?" Rashkin shook his head. "We will say then two hundred and fifty dollars, " Abe said; but Rashkindeclined. Immediately they commenced to bargain vigorously, and at intervals offive minutes each modified his price for the option, until half an hourhad expired, when they met at four hundred dollars. "All right, " B. Rashkin cried, "let us go and see Milton M. Sugarman anddraw up the option. " "I am agreeable, " Abe said; "any lawyer could draw it up, so far as I amconcerned. " They rose from the table without leaving the customary nickel for thewaitress and, as they passed out of the door, she glared after them andindignantly adjusted her pompadour with both hands. "Pipe them two high-livers, " she hissed to the waitress at the nexttable. "I knew them guys was going to pass me up as soon as I laid meeyes on 'em. " She heaved a tremendous sigh. "Y'orter heard the roar they put up about a tongue sandwich, " she said. "Ain't it funny, Kitty, how tightwads is always fussy about their feed?" When Abe returned to his place of business a couple of hours later, hefound Morris adding up figures on the back of an envelope. "Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "what's new about the house?" "I'll tell you what's new, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Just add four hundreddollars to them figures on that envelope, and you'll find out what thathouse costs you up to date. " "What do you mean?" "Never mind what I mean, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I'll tell you later what Imean. The thing is now, Mawruss, I got to know one thing and I got toknow it quick. Where could I find this here lowlife brother-in-law ofyours?" "Let me see, " said Morris. "It's already two o'clock, so I guess, Abe, you would be liable to get him in the back room of Wasserbauer's Café. Him and a feller by the name Feinson and that lowlife Rabiner playsthere auction pinochle together. " "But ain't he got no office, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Sure, he's got an office, " Morris replied. "He's got it desk-roomwith a couple of real estaters on Liberty Street, Abe. Look him upin the telephone book. He's got a phone put in too, Abe, with mymoney, I bet yer. " Abe consulted the telephone book and again put on his hat. "Where are you going now, Abe?" Morris asked. "I'm going down to Ferdy Rothschild's office, " Abe replied. "But you wouldn't find him in, Abe, " Morris protested. "I hope not, " Abe replied; and for the second time that day he left hisplace of business and boarded a downtown L train. Ferdy Rothschild's office was tucked away in an obscure corner of asmall office building on Liberty Street, and as Abe plodded wearily upthree flights of stairs he overtook a short, stout gentleman headed inthe same direction. "A feller what's got his office on the top floor of a back-numberbuilding like this, " said the exhausted traveler, "should keep itairships for his customers. " "I bet yer, " Abe gasped, as they reached the landing together, andthen in silence they both walked side by side to the office ofFerdy Rothschild. Abe opened the door and motioned his companion to enter first, whereatthe stranger nodded politely and walked into the office. "Is Mr. Rothschild in?" he said to the office-boy, who was the soleoccupant of the room. "Mr. Rothschild, now, telephoned, " the boy replied, "and he says, now, that if a guy comes in by the name of Marks to tell him he should wait. " "Did he say he would be right in?" Mr. Marks asked. "No, " the boy answered, "but he'll be in soon, all right. " "How do you know that?" Abe asked. "Because, now, I heard him tell the other boys that he wouldn't set nolonger time limit, " the boy replied; "but he says he'd play four moredeals and then he'd quit. See?" Mr. Marks looked at Abe and broke into a laugh. "That's a fine lowlife for you, " he said. "That feller tells me I shouldbe here at three o'clock sharp and he fools away my time like this. " Abe nodded. "What could you expect from a feller like that?" Abe commenced, and thenbroke off suddenly--"but excuse me. He may be a friend of yours. " "_Gott soll hüten_, " Mr. Marks replied piously. "All I got to do withhim is that he brings me a proposition I should buy a piece of propertywhich he got it to sell. " "That's a funny thing, " Abe said. "I came here myself about a piece ofproperty what I just bought, and I understand he tried to sell theproperty for the feller what I bought it from. " Abe took the option from his breast pocket and opened it on his knee, while Mr. Marks glanced at it furtively, not unnoticed by Abe, who aidedhis companion's inspection by spreading out the paper until its contentswere plainly visible. "Why!" Mr. Marks cried. "Why, that is the house what this hereRothschild said he would sell it me. " Abe looked up sharply. "You don't say so?" he said. "How could he sell you that house when Igot this here option on it this morning for forty-eight thousanddollars?" "Forty-eight thousand dollars!" Mr. Marks exclaimed. "Why, he says Icould buy it for forty-six thousand dollars. " Abe laughed with forced politeness. "Well, if you could of got it for forty-six thousand you should of tookit, " he said. "I want forty-nine thousand for it. " It was now Mr. Marks' turn to laugh. "You couldn't get forty-nine thousand for that house, " he said, "if thewindow-panes was diamonds already. " "No?" Abe retorted. "Well, then, I'll keep it, Mister----" "Marks, " suggested Mr. Marks. "Marks, " Abe went on. "I'll keep it, Mr. Marks, until I can get it, sosure as my name is Abe Potash. " "Of Potash & Perlmutter?" Mr. Marks asked. "That's my name, " Abe said. "Why, then, your partner owns yet the house next door!" Mr. Marks cried. "That ain't no news to me, Mr. Marks, " Abe said. "In fact, he built thathouse, Mr. Marks, and I got so tired hearing about the way that houserents and how much money he is going to get out of it that I bought theplace next door myself. " "But ain't that a funny thing that one partner should build a house andthe other partner shouldn't have nothing to do with it?" Mr. Markscommented. "We was partners in cloaks, Mr. Marks, not in houses, " Abe explained. "And I had my chance to go in with him and I was a big fool I didn'ttook it. " Mr. Marks rose to his feet. "Well, all I can say is, " he rejoined, "if I got it a partner and we wasto consider a proposition of building, Mr. Potash, we would go ittogether, not separate. " "Yes, Mr. Marks, " Abe agreed, "if you had it a partner, Mr. Marks, thatwould be something else again, but the partner what _I_ got it, Mr. Marks, you got no idee what an independent feller that is. I can assureyou, Mr. Marks, that feller don't let me know nothing what he is doingoutside of our business. For all I would know, he might of sold hishouse already. " "You don't mean to say that his house is on the market, do you?" Markssaid sharply. "I don't mean to say nothing, " Abe replied, as he started to leave. "AllI mean to say is that I am tired of waiting for that lowlife Rothschild, and I must get back to my store. " "Wait a bit; I'll go downstairs with you, " Marks broke in. As they walked down to the elevated road they exchanged furtherconfidences, by which it appeared that Mr. Marks was in the furniturebusiness on Third Avenue, and that he lived on Lenox Avenue near OneHundred and Sixteenth Street. "Why, you are practically a neighbor of Mawruss Perlmutter, " Abe cried. "Is that so?" Mr. Marks said, as they reached the elevated railway. "Yes, " Abe went on, "he lives on a Hundred and Eighteenth Street andLenox Avenue. " "You don't say so?" Mr. Marks replied. "Well, Mr. Potash, I guess I gotto leave you here. " They shook hands, and after Abe had proceeded half-way up the steps tothe station platform he paused to observe Mr. Marks penciling an addressin his memorandum book. When he again entered his show-room Morris had just hung up thetelephone receiver. "Yes, Abe, " he said, "you've gone and stuck your feet in it all right. " "What d'ye mean?" Abe asked. "Ferdy Rothschild just rung me up, " Morris explained, "and he says youwent down to his office while he was out, and you seen it there a fellerwhat he was going to sell Rashkin's house to, and you went and broke upthe deal, and that he will sue you yet in the courts. " "Let him sue us, " Abe said. "All he knows about is what the office-boytells him. I didn't break up no deal, because there wasn't no deal tobust up, Mawruss. " "Why not?" Morris asked. "Because if the deal was to sell Rashkin's house, " Abe explained, "Rothschild ain't in it at all, because I myself is the only person whatcould sell that house. " He drew the option from his breast pocket and handed it to Morris, whoread it over carefully. "Well, Abe, " Morris commented, "that's only throwing away good moneywith bad, because you couldn't do nothing with that house in two weeksor in two years, neither. " "I know it, " Abe said confidently, "but so long as I got an option onthat house nobody else couldn't do nothing with it, neither. And so longas Rashkin ain't able to undersell you, Mawruss, you got a chance to getrid of your house and to come out even, Mawruss. My advice to you is, Mawruss, that you should get a hustle on you and sell that house forthe best price you could. For so sure as I sit here, after this optionexpires, and Rashkin is again offering his house at forty-five thousand, you would be positively stuck. " "I bet yer I would be stuck, Abe, " Morris agreed. "But I ain't going tolet no grass grow on me, Abe. I will put in an ad. In every paper in NewYork this afternoon, and I'll keep it up till I sell the house. " "Maybe that wouldn't be necessary, Mawruss, " Abe said, with a twinkle inhis eye. "What d'ye mean?" Morris asked. Whereupon, Abe unfolded at great length his adventures of the day, beginning with his meeting B. Rashkin at the Real-Estate Exchange, andconcluding with Mr. Marks' penciled memorandum of Morris' address. "And now, Mawruss, " Abe concluded, "you seen the position what I tookit, and when that feller Marks calls at your house to-night you shouldbe careful and not make no cracks. Remember, Mawruss, you got to tellhim that as a partner I am a crank and a regular highbinder. Also, Mawruss, you got to tell him that if I wasn't held by a copartnershipagreement I would do you for your shirt, y'understand?" Morris nodded. "I know you should, Abe, " he said. "What!" Abe roared. "I mean I know I should, " Morris explained; "I know I should tell thishere Marks what you say. " Abe grew calm immediately, but he left further tactics to Morris'discretion; and when Mr. Marks called at the latter's house that eveningMorris showed that he possessed that discretion to a degree hardlyequaled by his partner. "Yes, Mr. Marks, " he said, after he had seated his visitor in theeasiest chair in the front parlor and had supplied him with a goodcigar, "it is true that I got it a house and that the house is on themarket for sale. " He paused and nodded sadly. "But I also got it a partner, Mr. Marks, and no doubt you heard alreadywhat a cutthroat that feller is. I assure you, Mr. Marks, that fellergoes to work and gets an option on the house next door which you know isidentical the same like my house is. Yes, Mr. Marks, he gets an optionon that house for forty-seven thousand five hundred dollars from thefeller what owns it, when he knows I am already negotiating to sell myhouse for forty-seven seven-fifty. " This willful misstatement of the amount of the option produced thedesired result. "Did you seen it the option?" Marks asked cautiously. "Well, no, I ain't seen it, but I heard it on good authority, Mr. Marks, " he said, and allowed himself two bars' rest, as the musicianssay, for the phrase to sink in. "Yes, Mr. Marks, on good authority I heard it that Potash pays fivehundred dollars for a two-weeks' option at forty-seven thousand fivehundred dollars. " "Forty-seven thousand five hundred dollars?" Marks said with a risinginflection. "Forty-seven thousand five hundred, " Morris replied blandly, "and Iguess he got a pretty cheap house, too. " "Well, I ain't got the same opinion what you got, " Marks retorted. "Igot an opinion, Mr. Perlmutter, that your partner pays a thousanddollars too much for his house. " "Is that so?" Morris replied, and then and there began a three-hours'session which terminated when they struck a bargain at forty-seventhousand dollars. Ten minutes later Marks left with a written memorandumof the terms of sale on his person while Morris pocketed a similarmemorandum and fifty dollars earnest money. The next morning an executory contract of sale was signed in Henry D. Feldman's office, and precisely two weeks later Mr. Marks took title toMorris' property which, after deducting all expenditures, netted itsbuilder a profit of almost two thousand dollars. This sum Morrisdeposited to the credit of the firm account of Potash & Perlmutter, andhardly had the certified check been dispatched to the Kosciusko Bankwhen the door opened and Rashkin and Ferdy Rothschild burst into theshow-room. "Bloodsucker!" Rashkin cried, shaking his fist under Abe's nose. "Whatfor you didn't take up your option?" Abe stepped back hurriedly and put a sample table between himself and B. Rashkin. "Must I take it up the option?" he said calmly. "Couldn't I let you keepit the four hundred dollars if I wanted to?" Rashkin looked at Ferdy Rothschild. "That's a fine murderer for you. What?" he exclaimed. "Him, I ain't surprised about, " Ferdy Rothschild replied, "but when afeller should do his own wife's brother out of a commission of fourhundred and sixty-five dollars, Rashkin, what a heart he must have it. Like a piece of steel. " "Don't talk that way, Ferdy, " Morris commented, without emotion. "Youmake me feel bad. I got lots of consideration for you, Ferdy, after theway you treated me already. Yes, Ferdy, I think a whole lot of you, Ferdy. You could come to me with your tongue hanging out from hungeryet, and I wouldn't lift a little finger. " Ferdy turned and appealed to B. Rashkin. "Ain't them fine words to hear from my own brother-in-law?" he said. "Nobody compels you to stay here and listen to 'em, Rothschild, " Abeinterrupted. "And, anyhow, Rothschild, you could make it more money ifinstead you stayed here you would go downtown to Henry D. Feldman'soffice and sue this here Rashkin in the courts for your commission. Iwas telling Feldman all about it this morning, and he says you got it agood case. " "Rothschild, " Rashkin cried pleadingly, "where are you going?" "You shouldn't talk to me, " Rothschild answered. "Potash is right. Ibrought this here Marks to you and he was ready and willing to purchaseat your terms, and so, therefore, you owe me a commission of fourhundred and sixty-five dollars. " The next moment he banged the door behind him and five minutes later hewas followed by B. Rashkin, who had filled that short space of time withan exhaustive and profane denunciation of Potash & Perlmutter, individually and as copartners. Five days afterward Morris examined the list of real-estate conveyancesin the morning paper, after the fashion of the reformed race-trackgambler who occasionally consults the past performances of the day'sentries. He handed the paper to Abe and pointed his finger to the following item: 264th St. 2044 East 37. 6 x 100. 10; Baruch Rashkin to the Royal Piccadilly Realty Co. (mtg $33, 000), $100. "That's only a fake, " Abe said. "I seen in the paper yesterday thatRashkin incorporated the Royal Piccadilly Realty Company with his wife, Goldie Rashkin, as president; and I guess he done it because he gotscared that Rothschild would get a judgment against him. And so hetransfers the house to the corporation. " "But if he does that, Abe, " Morris cried gleefully, "Ferdy Rothschildwould never collect on that judgment, because that house is all theproperty Rashkin's got. " "I hope you don't feel bad about it, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I bet yer I feel terrible, Abe, " Morris said ironically. "But why didRashkin call it the Royal Piccadilly Realty Company, Abe?" "For the sake of old times yet, " Abe answered. "I hear it from SolKlinger that before Rashkin busted up in the waist business he used tomake up a garment called the Royal Piccadilly. " "Is that so?" Morris commented. "I never heard he busted up in the waistbusiness, Abe. Why couldn't he make a go of it, Abe?" "Well, Mawruss, it was the same trouble with him like with some otherpeople, I know, " Abe replied significantly. "He was a good manufacturerbut a poor salesman; and you know as well as I do, Mawruss, any foolcould make up an article, Mawruss, but it takes a feller with judgmentto sell it. " CHAPTER XVII "Did the sponger send up them doctors yet?" said Morris with a far-awaylook in his bloodshot eyes, as he entered his place of business at halfpast seven one morning in March. "Doctors?" Abe repeated. "What are you talking about--doctors?" Morris snapped his fingers impatiently. "Doctors! Hear me talk!" he cried. "I meant kerseys. " "Listen here, Mawruss, " Abe suggested. "What's the use you monkeyingwith business to-day? Why don't you go home?" "Me, I don't take things so particular, Abe, " Morris replied. "Timeenough when I got to go home, then I will go home. " "You could do what you please, Mawruss, " Abe declared. "We ain't so busynow that you couldn't be spared, y'understand. With spring weather likewe got it now, Mawruss, we could better sell arctic overshoes andraincoats as try to get rid of our line already. I tell you the truth, Mawruss, I ain't seen business so _schlecht_ since way before theSpanish War already. " "We could always find _something_ to do, Abe, " said Morris. "Why don'tyou tell Miss Cohen to get out them statements which you was talkingabout?" "That's a good idee, Mawruss, " Abe agreed. "Half the time we don't knowwhere we are at at all. Big concerns get out what they call a balancingsheet every day yet, and we are lucky if we do it oncet a year already. How long do you think it would take her to finish 'em up, Mawruss?" The far-away look returned to Morris' eyes as he replied. "I am waitingfor a telephone every minute, Abe, " he said. Abe stared indignantly at his partner, then he took a cigar out of hiswaistcoat pocket and handed it to Morris. "Go and sit down and smoke this, Mawruss, " he said. "Leon Sammet givesit to me in the subway this morning, and if it's anything like themsouvenirs which he hands it out to his customers, it'll make you forgetyour troubles, Mawruss. The last time I smoked one, I couldn't remembernothing for a week. " Morris carefully cut off the end of Abe's gift with a penknife, but whenhe struck a match the telephone bell rang sharply. Immediately he threwthe cigar and the lighted match to the floor and dashed wildly to thefirm's office. "Do you got to burn the place up yet?" Abe cried, and after he hadextinguished the match with his foot, he followed his partner to theoffice in time to view Morris' coat tails disappearing into theelevator. For two minutes he stood still and shook his head slowly. "Miss Cohen, " he said at length, "get out them statements which I toldit you yesterday, and so soon you got the drawing account finished, letme have it. I don't think Mr. Perlmutter will be back to-day, so youwould have lots of time to do it in. " It was almost two o'clock before Miss Cohen handed Abe the statement ofthe firm's drawing account, and Abe thrust it into his breast pocket. "I'm going out for a bite, Miss Cohen, " he said. "If anybody wants me, Iam over at Hammersmith's and you could send Jake across for me. " He sighed heavily as he raised his umbrella and plunged out into a heavyMarch downpour. It had been raining steadily for about a week to thecomplete discouragement of garment buyers, and Hammersmith's rear cafésheltered a proportionately gloomy assemblage of cloak and suitmanufacturers. Abe glanced around him when he entered and selected atable at which sat Sol Klinger, who was scowling at a portion ofSalisbury steak. "Hallo, Sol, " Abe cried. "What's the trouble. Ain't the oitermobilerunning again?" "Do me the favor, Abe, " Sol replied, "and cut out them so called allegedjokes. " He turned toward a waiter who was dusting off the tablecloth in front ofAbe. "Max, " he said, stabbing at the steak with a fork held at arm's lengthand leaning back in his chair as though to avoid contagion. "What d'yecall this here mess anyway?" The waiter examined the dish critically and nodded his head. "Sally's-bury steak, Mr. Klinger, " he murmured. "Very nice to-day. " "Is that so?" Sol Klinger rejoined. "Well, lookyhere Max, if I would gotit a dawg which I wanted to get rid of bad, y'understand, I would feedhim that mess. But me, I ain't ready to die just yet awhile, y'understand, even though business _is_ rotten, so you could take thatthing back to the cook and bring me a slice of roast beef; and if youthink I got all day to sit here, Max, and fool away my time----" "Right away, Mr. Klinger, right away, " Max cried as he hurried off theoffending dish, and once more Sol subsided into a melancholy silence. "Don't take it so hard, Sol, " Abe said. "We got bad weather like this_schon_ lots of times yet, and none of us busted up. Ain't it?" "The weather is nix, Abe, " Sol replied. "If it's wet to-day then it'sfine to-morrow, and if a concern ain't buying goods now--all right. They'll buy 'em later on. Ain't it? _But_, Abe, the partner which yougot it to-day, Abe, that's the same partner which you got it to-morrow, and that sucker Klein, Abe, he eats me up with expenses. What thatfeller does with his money, Abe, I don't know. " "Maybe he buys oitermobiles, Sol, " Abe suggested. "Supposing I did buy last spring an oitermobile, Abe, " Sol retorted. "That is the least. I bet yer that feller Klein spends enough ontaxicab rides for customers, and also one or two of 'em which she ain'tcustomers, as he could buy a _dozen_ oitermobiles already. No, Abe, thatain't the point. The first year Klein and me goes as partners together, he overdraws me two hundred and fifty dollars. _Schon gut. _ If thefeller is a little extravagent, y'understand, he's got to make it upnext year. " Sol paused to investigate the roast beef which Max had brought, andbeing apparently satisfied, he proceeded with his narrative. "Next year, Abe, " he continued, "Klein not only ain't made up the twohundred and fifty, Abe, but he gets into me three hundred dollars more. Well, business is good, y'understand, and so I don't kick and that'swhere I am a great big fool, Abe, because every year since then, Abe, that sucker goes on and on, until to-day our balance sheet shows I gotfive thousand more invested in the business as Klein got it. And if Iwould tell him we are no longer equal partners, Abe, he would go rightdown to Henry D. Feldman, and to-morrow morning there would be areceiver in the store. " Sol plunged his fork into the slice of roast beef as though it wereKlein himself, and he hacked at it so viciously that the gravy flew inevery direction. "Max, " he roared, clapping his handkerchief to his face, "what the devilyou are bringing me here--soup?" It was at least five minutes before Sol had exhausted his stock ofprofanity, and when at length the tablecloth was changed and Abe hadministered to the front of his coat with a napkin dipped in water, Solceased to upbraid the waiter and resumed his tirade against his partner. "Yes, Abe, " he said, "you are in luck. You got a partner, y'understand, which he is a decent respectable feller. I bet yer Mawruss would no moredream of overdrawing you, than he would fly in the air. " "Wait till they gets to be popular, Sol, " Abe replied. "You could takeit from me, Sol, Mawruss would be the first one to buy one of themairyplanes, just the same like he bought that oitermobile yet. " "That's all right, " Sol said. "Mawruss is a good live partner. He seespeople round him--good, decent, respectable people, mind you--is buyingoitermobiles, Abe, and so he thinks he could buy one, too. There ain'tno harm in that, Abe, so long as he keeps inside his drawing account, but so soon as one partner starts to take more as the other money out ofthe business, Abe, then there is right away trouble. But certainly, Abe, Mawruss wouldn't do nothing like that. " "Sure not, " Abe replied, "because in the first place, Sol, he knows Iwouldn't stand for it, and in the second place, Mawruss ain't out to dome, y'understand. I will say for Mawruss this, Sol. Of course a partneris a partner, Sol, and the best of partners behaves like cut-throats attimes, but Mawruss was always white with me, Sol, and certainly I thinka whole lot of that feller. Just to show you, Sol, I got Miss Cohen tofix it up for us a statement of our drawing account which I got it righthere in my breast pocket, and I ain't even looked at it at all, so sureI am that everything is all O. K. " "I bet yer you overdrew _him_ yet, " Sol observed. "Me, I ain't such a big spender, Sol, " Abe replied as he unfolded thestatement. "I don't even got to look at the statement, because I know wedrew just the same amount. Yes, --here it is Sol. Me, I drew six thousandtwo hundred dollars, and Mawruss drew--six thousand two hundred and----. _Well, what do you think for a sucker like that?_" "Why, what's the matter, Abe?" Sol cried. Abe's face had grown white and his eyes glittered with anger. "That's a loafer for you!" he went on. "That feller actually pocketedfifty-two dollars of my money. " "Fifty-two dollars?" Sol repeated. "What are you making such a fussabout fifty-two dollars for?" "With you I suppose fifty-two dollars is nothing, Sol?" Abe retorted. "Isuppose you could pick up fifty-two dollars in the streets, Sol. What?Wait till I see that robber to-morrow. I'll fix him. Actually, I thoughtthat feller was above such things, Sol. " "Don't excite yourself, Abe, " Sol began. "I ain't excited, Sol, " Abe replied. "I ain't a bit excited. All Iwould do is I will go back to the store and draw a check for fifty-twodollars. I wouldn't let that beat get ahead of me not for one cent, Sol. If I would sit down with my eyes closed for five minutes, Sol, thatloafer would do me for my shirt. I must be on the job all the time, Sol, otherwise that feller would have me on the streets yet. " For a quarter of an hour longer Abe reviled Morris, until Sol was movedto protest. "If I thought that way about my partner, Abe, " he said, "I'd go rightdown and see Feldman and have a dissolution yet. " "That's what I will do, Sol, " Abe declared. "Why should I tie myself upany longer with a cutthroat like that? I tell you what we'll do, Sol. We'll go over to the store and see what else Miss Cohen found it out. Ibet you he rings in a whole lot of items on me with the petty cash whileI was away on the road. " Together they left Hammersmith's and repaired at once to Potash &Perlmutter's place of business. As they entered the show-room Miss Cohenemerged from her office with a sheet of paper in her hand. "Mr. Potash, " she said, "when you were in Chicago last fall you drew onthe firm for a hundred dollars, and by mistake I credited it to you onyour expense account. It ought to have been charged on your drawingaccount. So that makes your total drawing account sixty-three hundreddollars. " Abe stopped short and looked at Sol. "What was that you said, Miss Cohen?" he asked. "I said that I made a mistake in that statement, and you're overdrawn onMr. Perlmutter forty-eight dollars, " Miss Cohen concluded. "Then hurry up quick, Miss Cohen, " Abe cried, "and draw a check in mypersonal check book on the Kosciusko Bank to Potash & Perlmutter forforty-eight dollars and see that it's deposited the first thingto-morrow morning. " He handed Sol a cigar. "Yes, Sol, " he said, "if Mawruss would find it out that I am overdrawnon him forty-eight dollars, he would abuse me like a pickpocket. Thatfeller never gives me credit for being square at all, Sol. I would beafraid for my life if he would get on to that forty-eight dollars. Why, the very first thing you know, Sol, he would be going around tellingeverybody I was a crook and a cutthroat. That's the kind of fellerMawruss is, Sol. I could treat him always like a gentleman, Sol, and ifthe smallest little thing happens to us, 'sucker' is the least what hecalls me. " At this juncture the green baize doors leading into the hall burst openand Morris himself leaped into the show-room. His necktie was perchedrakishly underneath his right ear, and his collar was of the moistureand consistency of a used wash rag. His clothes were dripping, for hecarried no umbrella, and his hair hung in damp strands over hisforehead. Nevertheless he was grinning broadly, as without a word he ranup to Abe and seized his hand. For two minutes Morris shook it up anddown and then he collapsed into the nearest chair. "Well, Mawruss, " Abe cried, "what's the matter? Couldn't you saynothing? What did you come downtown again for? You should have stayeduptown with Minnie. " "S'all right, Abe, " Morris gasped. "S'all over, too. The doctor saysinstead I should be making a nuisance of myself uptown, I would bebetter off in the store here. He was there before I could get home. " "Who was there?" Abe asked. "The doctor?" "_Not_ the doctor, " Morris went on. "The boy was there. Minnie is doingfine. The doctor said everything would be all right. " "That's good. That's good, " Abe murmured. "Y'oughter seen him, Abe. He weighed ten pounds, " Morris continued. "Ibet yer he could holler, too, --like an auctioneer already. Minnie saysalso I shouldn't forget to tell you what we agreed upon. " "What we agreed upon?" Abe repeated. "Why we ain't agreed upon nothing, so far what I hear, Mawruss. What d'ye mean--what we agreed upon?" "Not _you_ and me, Abe, " Morris cried. "_Her_ and me. We agreed that ifit was a boy we'd call him Abraham P. Perlmutter already. " He slapped Abe on the back and laughed uproariously, while Abe lookedguilty and blushed a deep crimson. "Abraham Potash Perlmutter, " Morris reiterated. "That's one fine name, Sol. " It was now Sol's turn to take Morris' hand and he squeezed it hard. "I congradulate you for the boy and for the name both, " he said. Once more Abe seized his partner's hand and shook it rhythmically up anddown as though it were a patent exerciser. "Mawruss, " he said, "this is certainly something which I didn't expectat all, and all I could say is that I got to tell you you would never besorry for it. Just a few minutes since in Hammersmith's I was tellingSol I got a partner which it is a credit and an honor for a feller toknow he could always trust such a partner to do what is right and squareand also, Mawruss, I----Miss Cohen, " he broke off suddenly, "you shoulddraw right away another check in my personal book for a hundreddollars. " "To whose order?" Miss Cohen asked. Abe cleared his throat and blinked away a slight moisture beforereplying. "Make it to the order of Abraham P. Perlmutter, " he said, "and we willdeposit it in a savings bank, Mawruss, and when he comes twenty-oneyears old, Mawruss, we will draw it out with anything else what you putin there for him, Mawruss, and we will deposit it in our own bank to thecredit of _Potash, Perlmutter & Son_. " Sol Klinger's face spread into an amiable grin. "You could put me down ten dollars on that savings bank account, too, boys, " he said as he reached for his hat. "I've got to be going now. " "Don't forget you should tell Klein it's a boy, " Morris called to him. "I wouldn't forget, " Sol replied. "Klein'll be glad to hear it. Youknow, Mawruss, Klein ain't such a grouch as most people think he is. Infact, taking him all around, Klein is a pretty decent feller. " As he turned to leave, his eye met Abe's, and both of them smiledguiltily. "After all, Abe, " Sol concluded, "it ain't what partners says about eachother, Abe, but how they _acts_ which counts. Ain't it?" Abe nodded emphatically. "An old saying but a true one, " Morris declared. "Actions talk louder aswords. " THE END. Transcriber's Notes Several spelling and punctuation inconsistencies appear in the originalof this text. Punctuation has been changed when required for correctsyntax. Inconsistent spelling has been retained in direct speech forpronunciation purposes and in quoted written material, but has beenchanged as noted below. Page 12 Changed "good-bye" to "good-by"Page 39 Changed "recission" to "rescission"Page 50 Changed "Lownstein" to "Lowenstein"Page 135 Changed "dassent" to "dassen't"Page 146 Changed "Kreitman" to "Kreitmann"Page 200 Changed "theeayter" to "theayter"Page 244 Changed "neighborhod" to "neighborhood"Page 252 Changed "Fernstein" to "Feinstein"Page 280 Changed "cigarrettel" to "cigarettel"Pages 54, 300, 411 Changed "aint" to "ain't"Page 368 Changed "cancellation" to "cancelation"Page 374 Changed "Raskin" to "Rashkin" (twice)Page 389 Changed "practicaly" to "practically"Page 394 Changed "Sugarmen" to "Sugarman"Page 413 Changed "cutthroats" to "cut-throats"