MEMOIR OF OLD ELIZABETH, A COLOURED WOMAN. * * * * * "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. " GAL. Iii. 25. * * * * * PHILADELPHIA: COLLINS, PRINTER, 705 JAYNE STREET. 1863. MEMOIR, &C. In the following Narrative of "Old Elizabeth, " which was taken mainly from her own lips in her 97th year, her simple language has been adhered to as strictly as was consistent with perspicuity and propriety. I was born in Maryland in the year 1766. My parents were slaves. Bothmy father and mother were religious people, and belonged to theMethodist Society. It was my father's practice to read in the Biblealoud to his children every sabbath morning. At these seasons, when Iwas but five years old, I often felt the overshadowing of the Lord'sSpirit, without at all understanding what it meant; and these incomesand influences continued to attend me until I was eleven years old, particularly when I was alone, by which I was preserved from doinganything that I thought was wrong. In the eleventh year of my age, my master sent me to another farm, several miles from my parents, brothers, and sisters, which was agreat trouble to me. At last I grew so lonely and sad I thought Ishould die, if I did not see my mother. I asked the overseer if Imight go, but being positively denied, I concluded to go without hisknowledge. When I reached home my mother was away. I set off andwalked twenty miles before I found her. I staid with her for severaldays, and we returned together. Next day I was sent back to my newplace, which renewed my sorrow. At parting, my mother told me that Ihad "nobody in the wide world to look to but God. " These words fellupon my heart with ponderous weight, and seemed to add to my grief. Iwent back repeating as I went, "none but God in the wide world. " Onreaching the farm, I found the overseer was displeased at me for goingwithout his liberty. He tied me with a rope, and gave me some stripesof which I carried the marks for weeks. After this time, finding as my mother said, I had none in the world tolook to but God, I betook myself to prayer, and in every lonely placeI found an altar. I mourned sore like a dove and chattered forth mysorrow, moaning in the corners of the field, and under the fences. I continued in this state for about six months, feeling as though myhead were waters, and I could do nothing but weep. I lost my appetite, and not being able to take enough food to sustain nature, I became soweak I had but little strength to work; still I was required to do allmy duty. One evening, after the duties of the day were ended, Ithought I could not live over the night, so threw myself on a bench, expecting to die, and without being prepared to meet my Maker; and myspirit cried within me, must I die in this state, and be banished fromThy presence forever? I own I am a sinner in Thy sight, and not fit tolive where thou art. Still it was my fervent desire that the Lordwould pardon me. Just at this season, I saw with my spiritual eye, anawful gulf of misery. As I thought I was about to plunge into it, Iheard a voice saying, "rise up and pray, " which strengthened me. Ifell on my knees and prayed the best I could the Lord's prayer. Knowing no more to say, I halted, but continued on my knees. My spiritwas then _taught_ to pray, "Lord, have mercy on me--Christ save me. "Immediately there appeared a director, clothed in white raiment. Ithought he took me by the hand and said, "come with me. " He led medown a long journey to a fiery gulf, and left me standing upon thebrink of this awful pit. I began to scream for mercy, thinking I wasabout to be plunged to the belly of hell, and believed I should sinkto endless ruin. Although I prayed and wrestled with all my might, itseemed in vain. Still, I felt all the while that I was sustained bysome invisible power. At this solemn moment, I thought I saw a handfrom which hung, as it were, a silver hair, and a voice told me thatall the hope I had of being saved was no more than a hair; still, pray, and it will be sufficient. I then renewed my struggle, cryingfor mercy and salvation, until I found that every cry raised me higherand higher, and my head was quite above the fiery pillars. Then Ithought I was permitted to look straight forward, and saw the Saviourstanding with His hand stretched out to receive me. An indescribablyglorious light was _in_ Him, and He said, "peace, peace, come untome. " At this moment I felt that my sins were forgiven me, and the timeof my deliverance was at hand. I sprang forward and fell at his feet, giving Him all the thanks and highest praises, crying, Thou hastredeemed me--Thou hast redeemed me to thyself. I felt filled withlight and love. At this moment I thought my former guide took me againby the hand and led me upward, till I came to the celestial world andto heaven's door, which I saw was open, and while I stood there, apower surrounded me which drew me in, and I saw millions of glorifiedspirits in white robes. After I had this view, I thought I heard avoice saying, "Art thou willing to be saved?" I said, Yes Lord. AgainI was asked, "Art thou willing to be saved in my way?" I stoodspeechless until he asked me again, "Art thou willing to be saved inmy way?" Then I heard a whispering voice say, "If thou art not savedin the Lord's way, thou canst not be saved at all;" at which Iexclaimed, "Yes Lord, in thy own way. " Immediately a light fell uponmy head, and I was filled with light, and I was shown the world lyingin wickedness, and was told I must go there, and call the people torepentance, for the day of the Lord was at hand; and this message wasas a heavy yoke upon me, so that I wept bitterly at the thought ofwhat I should have to pass through. While I wept, I heard a voice say, "weep not, some will laugh at thee, some will scoff at thee, and thedogs will bark at thee, but while thou doest my will, I will be withthee to the ends of the earth. " I was at this time not yet thirteen years old. The next day, when Ihad come to myself, I felt like a new creature in Christ, and all mydesire was to see the Saviour. I lived in a place where there was no preaching, and no religiousinstruction; but every day I went out amongst the hay-stacks, wherethe presence of the Lord overshadowed me, and I was filled withsweetness and joy, and was as a vessel filled with holy oil. In thisway I continued for about a year; many times while my hands were at mywork, my spirit was carried away to spiritual things. One day as I wasgoing to my old place behind the hay-stacks to pray, I was assailedwith this language, "Are you going there to weep and pray? what afool! there are older professors than you are, and they do not takethat way to get to heaven; people whose sins are forgiven ought to bejoyful and lively, and not be struggling and praying. " With this Ihalted and concluded I would not go, but do as other professors did, and so went off to play; but at this moment the light that was in mebecame darkened, and the peace and joy that I once had, departed fromme. About this time I was moved back to the farm where my mother lived, and then sold to a stranger. Here I had deep sorrows and plungings, not having experienced a return of that sweet evidence and light withwhich I had been favoured formerly; but by watching unto prayer, andwrestling mightily with the Lord, my peace gradually returned, andwith it a great exercise and weight upon my heart for the salvation ofmy fellow-creatures; and I was often carried to distant lands andshown places where I should have to travel and deliver the Lord'smessage. Years afterwards, I found myself visiting those towns andcountries that I had seen in the light as I sat at home at mysewing, --places of which I had never heard. Some years from this time I was sold to a Presbyterian for a term ofyears, as he did not think it right to hold slaves for life. Havingserved him faithfully my time out, he gave me my liberty, which wasabout the thirtieth year of my age. As I now lived in a neighborhood where I could attend religiousmeetings, occasionally I felt moved to speak a few words therein; butI shrank from it--so great was the cross to my nature. I did not speak much till I had reached my forty-second year, when itwas revealed to me that the message which had been given to me I hadnot yet delivered, and the time had come. As I could read but little, I questioned within myself how it would be possible for me to deliverthe message, when I did not understand the Scriptures. Whereupon I wasmoved to open a Bible that was near me, which I did, and my eyes fellupon this passage, "Gird up thy loins now like a man, and answer thoume. Obey God rather than man, " &c. Here I fell into a great exerciseof spirit, and was plunged very low. I went from one religiousprofessor to another, enquiring of them what ailed me; but of allthese I could find none who could throw any light upon suchimpressions. They all told me there was nothing in Scripture thatwould sanction such exercises. It was hard for men to travel, and whatwould women do? These things greatly discouraged me, and shut up myway, and caused me to resist the Spirit. After going to all that wereaccounted pious, and receiving no help, I returned to the Lord, feeling that I was nothing, and knew nothing, and wrestled and prayedto the Lord that He would fully reveal His will, and make the wayplain. Whilst I thus struggled, there seemed a light from heaven to fall uponme, which banished all my desponding fears, and I was enabled to forma new resolution to go on to prison and to death, if it might be myportion: and the Lord showed me that it was His will I should beresigned to die any death that might be my lot, in carrying hismessage, and be entirely crucified to the world, and sacrifice _all_to His glory that was then in my possession, which His witnesses, theholy Apostles, had done before me. It was then revealed to me that theLord had given me the evidence of a clean heart, in which I couldrejoice day and night, and I walked and talked with God, and my soulwas illuminated with heavenly light, and I knew nothing but JesusChrist, and him crucified. One day, after these things, while I was at my work, the Spiritdirected me to go to a poor widow, and ask her if I might have ameeting at her house, which was situated in one of the lowest andworst streets in Baltimore. With great joy she gave notice, and at thetime appointed I appeared there among a few coloured sisters. Whenthey had all prayed, they called upon me to close the meeting, and Ifelt an impression that I must say a few words; and while I wasspeaking, the house seemed filled with light; and when I was about toclose the meeting, and was kneeling, a man came in and stood till Iarose. It proved to be a watchman. The sisters became so frightened, they all went away except the one who lived in the house, and an oldwoman; they both appeared to be much frightened, fearing they shouldreceive some personal injury, or be put out of the house. A feeling ofweakness came over me for a short time, but I soon grew warm andcourageous in the Spirit. The man then said to me, "I was sent here tobreak up your meeting. Complaint has been made to me that the peopleround here cannot sleep for the racket. " I replied, "a good racket isbetter than a bad racket. How do they rest when the ungodly aredancing and fiddling till midnight? Why are not they molested by thewatchmen? and why should we be for praising God, our Maker? Are weworthy of greater punishment for praying to Him? and are we to beprohibited from doing so, that sinners may remain slumbering in theirsins?" While speaking these few words I grew warm with _heavenly_zeal, and laid my hand upon him and addressed him with gospel truth, "how do sinners sleep in hell, after slumbering in their sins here, and crying, 'let me rest, let me rest, ' while sporting on the verybrink of hell? Is the cause of God to be destroyed for this purpose?"Speaking several words more to this amount, he turned pale andtrembled, and begged my pardon, acknowledging that it was not his wishto interrupt us, and that he would never disturb a religious assemblyagain. He then took leave of me in a comely manner and wished ussuccess. After he was gone, I turned to the old sisters who by thistime were quite cheered up. You see, said I, if the sisters had notfled, what a victory we might have had on the Lord's side; for the manseemed ready to give up under conviction. If it had not been for theircowardice, we might have all bowed in prayer, and a shout of victoryhad been heard amongst us. Our meeting gave great offence, and we were forbid holding any moreassemblies. Even the elders of our meeting joined with the wickedpeople, and said such meetings must be stopped, and that womanquieted. But I was not afraid of any of them, and continued to go, andburnt with a zeal not my own. The old sisters were zealous sometimes, and at other times would sink under the cross. Thus they grew cold, atwhich I was much grieved. I proposed to them to ask the elders to senda brother, which was concluded upon. We went on for several years, and the Lord was with us with greatpower it proved, to the conversion of many souls, and we continued togrow stronger. I felt at times that I must exercise in the ministry, but when I roseupon my feet I felt ashamed, and so I went under a cloud for sometime, and endeavoured to keep silence; but I could not quench theSpirit. I was rejected by the elders and rulers, as Christ wasrejected by the Jews before me, and while others were excused incrimes of the darkest dye, I was hunted down in every place where Iappointed a meeting. Wading through many sorrows, I thought at times Imight as well be banished from this life, as to feel the Almightydrawing me one way, and man another; so that I was tempted to castmyself into the dock. But contemplating the length of eternity, andhow long my sufferings would be in that unchangeable world, comparedwith this, if I endured a little longer, the Lord was pleased todeliver me from this gloomy, melancholy state in his own time; thoughwhile this temptation lasted I roved up and down, and talked andprayed. I often felt that I was unfit to assemble with the congregation withwhom I had gathered, and had sometimes been made to rejoice in theLord. I felt that I was despised on account of this gracious calling, and was looked upon as a speckled bird by the ministers to whom Ilooked for instruction, and to whom I resorted every opportunity forthe same; but when I would converse with them, some would cry out, "You are an enthusiast;" and others said, "the Discipline did notallow of any such division of the work;" until I began to think Isurely must be wrong. Under this reflection, I had another gloomycloud to struggle through; but after awhile I felt much moved upon bythe Spirit of the Lord, and meeting with an aged sister, I found uponconversing with her that she could sympathize with me in thisspiritual work. She was the first one I had met with, who could fullyunderstand my exercises. She offered to open her house for a meeting, and run the risk of all the church would do to her for it. Many wereafraid to open their houses in this way, lest they should be turnedout of the church. I persevered, notwithstanding the opposition of those who were lookedupon as higher and wiser. The meeting was appointed, and but few came. I felt much backwardness, and as though I could not pray, but apressure upon me to arise and express myself by way of exhortation. After hesitating for some time whether I would take up the cross orno, I arose, and after expressing a few words, the Spirit came upon mewith life, and a victory was gained over the power of darkness, and wecould rejoice together in His love. As for myself, I was so full I hardly knew whether I was in the body, or out of the body--so great was my joy for the victory on the Lord'sside. But the persecution against me increased, and a complaint wascarried forward, as was done formerly against Daniel, the servant ofGod, and the elders came out with indignation for my holding meetingscontrary to discipline--being a woman. Thus we see when the heart is not inspired, and the inward eyeenlightened by the Spirit, we are incapable of discerning the mysteryof God in these things. Individuals creep into the church that areunregenerate, and after they have been there awhile, they fancy thatthey have got the grace of God, while they are destitute of it. Theymay have a degree of light in their heads, but evil in their hearts;which makes them think they are qualified to be judges of theministry, and their conceit makes them very busy in matters ofreligion, judging of the revelations that are given to others, whilethey have received none themselves. Being thus mistaken, they arecalculated to make a great deal of confusion in the church, and clogthe true ministry. These are they who eat their own bread, and wear their own apparel, having the form of godliness, but are destitute of the power. Again I felt encouraged to attend another and another appointment. Atone of these meetings, some of the class-leaders were present, whowere constrained to cry out, "Surely the Lord has _revealed_ thesethings to her" and asked one another if they ever heard the like? Ilook upon man as a very selfish being, when placed in a religiousoffice, to presume to resist the work of the Almighty; because Hedoes not work by man's authority. I did not faint underdiscouragement, but pressed on. Under the contemplation of these things, I slept but little, beingmuch engaged in receiving the revelations of the Divine willconcerning this work, and the mysterious call thereto. I felt very unworthy and small, notwithstanding the Lord had shownhimself with great power, insomuch that conjecturers and critics wereconstrained to join in praise to his great name; for truly, we hadtimes of refreshing from the presence of the Lord. At one of themeetings, a vast number of the white inhabitants of the place, andmany coloured people, attended--many no doubt from curiosity to hearwhat the old coloured woman had to say. One, a great scripturian, fixed himself behind the door with pen and ink, in order to take downthe discourse in short-hand; but the Almighty Being anointed me withsuch a portion of his Spirit, that he cast away his paper and pen, andheard the discourse with patience, and was much affected, for the Lordwrought powerfully on his heart. After meeting, he came forward andoffered me his hand with solemnity on his countenance, and handed mesomething to pay for my conveyance home. I returned, much strengthened by the Lord's power, to go on to thefulfilment of His work, although I was again pressed by theauthorities of the church to which I belonged, for imprudency; and somuch condemned, that I was sorely tempted by the enemy to turn asideinto the wilderness. I was so embarrassed and encompassed, I wonderedwithin myself whether all that were called to be mouth piece for theLord, suffered such deep wadings as I experienced. I now found I had to travel still more extensively in the work of theministry, and I applied to the Lord for direction. I was often_invited_ to go hither and thither, but felt that I must wait for thedictates of His Spirit. At a meeting which I held in Maryland, I was led to speak from thepassage, "Woe to the rebellious city, " &c. After the meeting, thepeople came where I was, to take me before the squire; but the Lorddelivered me from their hands. I also held meetings in Virginia. The people there would not believethat a coloured woman could preach. And moreover, as she had nolearning, they strove to imprison me because I spoke against slavery:and being brought up, they asked by what authority I spake? and if Ihad been ordained? I answered, not by the commission of men's hands:if the Lord had ordained me, I needed nothing better. As I travelled along through the land, I was led at different times toconverse with white men who were by profession ministers of thegospel. Many of them, up and down, confessed they did not believe inrevelation, which gave me to see that men were sent forth as ministerswithout Christ's authority. In a conversation with one of these, hesaid, "You think you have these things by revelation, but there hasbeen no such thing as revelation since Christ's ascension. " I askedhim where the apostle John got his revelation while he was in the Isleof Patmos. With this, he rose up and left me, and I said in my spirit, get thee behind me Satan. I visited many remote places, where there were no meeting houses, andheld many glorious meetings, for the Lord poured out his Spirit insweet effusions. I also travelled in Canada, and visited severalsettlements of coloured people, and felt an open door amongst them. I may here remark, that while journeying through the different statesof the Union, I met with many of the Quaker Friends, and visited themin their families. I received much kindness and sympathy, and noopposition from them, in the prosecution of my labours. On one occasion, in a thinly settled part of the country, seeing aFriend's meeting house open, I went in; at the same time a Friend andhis little daughter followed me. We three composed the meeting. As wesat there in silence, I felt a remarkable overshadowing of the Divinepresence, as much so as I ever experienced any where. Toward theclose, a few words seemed to be given me, which I expressed, and leftthe place greatly refreshed in Spirit. From thence I went to Michigan, where I found a wide field of labour amongst my own colour. Here Iremained four years. I established a school for coloured orphans, having always felt the great importance of the religious and moral_agri_culture of children, and the great need of it, especiallyamongst the coloured people. Having white teachers, I met with muchencouragement. My eighty-seventh year had now arrived, when suffering from disease, and feeling released from travelling further in my good Master'scause, I came on to Philadelphia, where I have remained until thistime, which brings me to my ninety-seventh year. When I went forth, itwas without purse or scrip, --and I have come through great tribulationand temptation--not by any might of my own, for I feel that I am butas dust and ashes before my almighty Helper, who has, according to Hispromise, been with me and sustained me through all, and gives me nowfirm faith that he will be with me to the end, and, in his own goodtime, receive me into His everlasting rest.