KILO

Being the Love Story of Eliph' Hewlitt Book Agent

By Ellis Parker Butler

CONTENTS

 I. Eliph' Hewlitt II. Susan III. "How to Win the Affections" IV. Kilo V. Sammy Mills VI. The Castaway VII. The Colonel VIII. The Medium-sized Box IX. The Witness X. The Boss Grafter XI. The False Gods of Doc Weaver XII. Getting Acquainted XIII. "Second: a Small Present" XIV. Something Turns Up XV. Difficulties XVI. Two Lovers, and a Third XVII. According to Jarby's XVIII. Another Trial XIX. Pap Briggs' Hen Food

KILO

CHAPTER I. Eliph' Hewlitt

Eliph' Hewlitt, book agent, seated in his weather-beaten top buggy, drove his horse, Irontail, carefully along the rough Iowa hill road thatleads from Jefferson to Clarence. The Horse, a rusty gray, tottered ina loose-jointed manner from side to side of the road, half asleep inthe sun, and was indolent in every muscle of his body, except his tail, which thrashed violently at the flies. Eliph' Hewlitt drove with hishands held high, almost on a level with his sandy whiskers, for he waswell acquainted with Irontail. 

The road seemed to pass through a region of large farms, offering fewopportunities for selling books, the houses being so far apart, butEliph' knew the small settlement of Clarence was a few miles fartheron, and he was carrying enlightenment to the benighted. He glowed withmissionary zeal. In his eagerness he thoughtlessly slapped the reins onthe back of Irontail. 

Instantly the plump, gray tail of the horse flashed over the rein andclamped it fast. Eliph' Hewlitt leaned over the dashboard of his buggyand grasped the hair of the tail firmly. He pulled it upward with allhis strength, but the tail did not yield. Instead, Irontail kickedvigorously. Eliph' Hewlitt, knowing his horse as well as he knew humannature, climbed out of the buggy, and taking the rein close by the bitled Irontail to the side of the road. Then he took from beneath thebuggy seat a bulky, oil-cloth-wrapped parcel and seated himself near thehorse's head. There was no safety for a timid driver when Irontail hadthus assumed command of the rein. There was no way to get a rein frombeneath that tail but to ignore it. In an hour or so Irontail wouldgrow forgetful, carelessly begin flapping flies, and release the reinhimself. 

Eliph' Hewlitt unwrapped the oilcloth from the object in enfolded. Itwas a book. It was Jarby's 'Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium ofLiterature, Science, Art, Comprising Useful Information on One Thousandand One Subjects, Including A History of the World, the Lives of allFamous Men, Quotations From the World's Great Authors, One Thousand andOne Recipes, Et Cetera'. One Volume, five dollars bound in cloth; sevenfifty in morocco. Eliph' Hewlitt passed his hand affectionately over thegilt-stamped cover, and then opened it at random and read. 

For years he had been reading Jarby's Encyclopedia, and among its tenthousand and one subjects he always found something new. It opened nowat "Courtship-How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to HoldThem When Won, " and although he had read the pages often before, hefound in all parts of the book, whenever he read it, a new meaning. It occurred to him that even a book agent might have reason to use thehelpful words set for in clear type in the chapter on "Courtship--How toMake Love, " and he realized that sometime he must reach the age when hewould need a home of his own. For years he had thought of woman only asa possible customer for Jarby's Encyclopedia. Every woman, not alreadymarried, he now saw, might be a possible Mrs. Eliph' Hewlitt. 

Suddenly he raised his head. On the breeze there was borne to him thesound of voices--many voices. He closed the book with a bang. His smallbody became tense; his eyes glittered. He scented prey. He wrapped thebook in its oilcloth, laid it upon the buggy seat, and taking Irontailby the bridle, started in the direction of the voices. 

Half a mile down the road he came upon a scene of merriment. In acleared grove men, women and children were gathered; it was a churchpicnic. Eliph' Hewlitt took his hitching strap from beneath the buggyseat and secured Irontail to a tree. 

"Church picnic, " he said to himself; "one, two, sixteen, twenty-four, AND the minister. Good for twelve copies of Jarby's Encyclopedia orI'm no good myself. I love church picnics. What so lovely as to see thepastor and his flock gathered together in a bunch, as I may say, liketen-pins, ready to be scooped in, all at one shot?"

He walked up to the rail fence and leaned against it so that he might beseen and invited in. It was better policy than pushing himself forward, and it gave him time to study the faces. He did not find them hopefulsubjects. They were not the faces of readers. They were not even thefaces of buyers. Even in their holiday finery, the women were shabbyand the men were careworn. The minister himself, white-bearded andgray-haired, showed more signs of spiritual grace than intellectualstrength. 

One woman, fresh and bright as a butterfly, appeared among them, andEliph' Hewlitt knew her at once as a city dweller, who had somehow gotinto this dull and hard-working community. Almost at the same momentshe noticed him, and approached him. She smiled kindly and extended herhand. 

"Won't you come in?" she asked. "I don't seem to remember your face, butwe would be glad to have you join us. "

Eliph' Hewlitt shook his head. 

"No'm, " he said sadly. "I'd better not come in. Not that I don't wantto, but I wouldn't be welcome. There ain't anything I like so muchas church picnics, and when I was a boy I used to cry for them, but Iwouldn't dare join you. I'm a"--he looked around cautiously, and said ina whisper--"I'm a book agent. "

The lady laughed. 

"Of course, " she said, "that DOES make a difference; but you needn't bea book agent to-day. You can forget it for a while and join us. "

Eliph' Hewlitt shook his head again. 

"That's it, " he said. "That's just the reason. I CAN'T forget it. I tryto, but I can't. Just when I don't want to, I break out, and before Iknow it I've sold everybody a book, and then I feel like I'd imposed ongood nature. They take me in as a friend and then I sell 'em a copy ofJarby's 'Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art, ' ten thousand and one subjects, from A to Z, including recipesfor every known use, quotations from famous authors, lives of famousmen, and, in one word, all the world's wisdom condensed into one volume, five dollars, neatly bound in cloth, one dollar down and one dollar amonth until paid. "

He paused, and the lady looked at him with an amused smile. 

"Of seven fifty, handsomely bound in morocco, " he added. "So you see Idon't feel like I ought to impose. I know how I am. You take my mothernow. She hadn't seen me for eight years. I'd been traveling all overthese United States, carrying knowledge and culture into the homesof the people at five dollars, easy payments, per home, and I got atelegram saying, 'Come home. Mother very ill. '" He nodded his headslowly. "Wonderful invention, the telegraph, " he said. "It tellsall about it on page 562 of Jarby's 'Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art, '--who invented; when firstused; name of every city, town, village and station in the U. S. Thathas a telegraph office; complete explanation of the telegraph system, telling how words are carried over a slender wire, et cetery, et cetery. This and ten thousand other useful facts in one volume, only fivedollars, bound in cloth. So when I got that telegram I took the trainfor home. Look in the index under T. 'Train, Railway--see Railway. ''Railway; when first operated; inventor of the locomotive engine;railway accidents from 1892 to 1904, giving number of fatal accidentsper year, per month, per week, per day, and per miles; et cetery, etcetery. Every subject known to man fully and interestingly treated, WITHillustrations. "

"I don't believe I care for a copy to-day, " said the lady. 

"No, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, meekly. "I know it. Nor I don't want to sellyou one. I just mentioned it to show you that when you have a copy ofJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge you have an entire library in onebook, arranged and indexed by the greatest minds of the nineteenth andtwentieth centuries. One dollar down and one dollar a month until paid. But--when I got home I found mother low--very low. When I went in shewas just able to look up and whisper, 'Eliph'?' 'Yes, mother, ' I says. 'Is it really you at last?' she says. 'Yes, mother, ' I says, 'it's meat last, mother, and I couldn't get here sooner. I was out in Ohio, carrying joy to countless homes and introducing to them Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art. It is a book, mother, ' I says, 'suited for rich or poor, young or old. No family is complete without it. Ten thousand and one subjects, allindexed from A to Z, including an appendix of the Spanish War broughtdown to the last moment, and maps of Europe, Asia, Africa, North andSouth America and Australia. This book, mother, ' I says, 'is a gold mineof information for the young, and a solace for the old. Pages 201 to 263filled with quotations from the world's great poets, making select andhelpful reading for the fireside lamp. Pages 463 to 468, dying sayingsof famous men and women. A book, ' I says, 'that teaches us how to liveand how to die. All the wisdom of the world in one volume, five dollars, neatly bound in cloth, one dollar down and one dollar a month untilpaid. ' Mother looked up at me and says, 'Eliph', put me down for onecopy. ' So I did. I hope I may do the same for you. "

The lady was about to speak, but Eliph' Hewlitt held up his handwarningly. 

"No, " he said. "I beg your pardon. I didn't MEAN to say that. I couldn'tthink of taking your order. I didn't mean to ask it any more than Imeant to ask mother. It's habit, and that's what I'm afraid of. I'dbetter not intrude. "

The lady evidently did not agree with him. He amused her because he waswhat she called a "type, " and she was always on the lookout for "types. "She urged him to join the picnic, and said he could try not to talkbooks, and reminded him that no one could do more than try. He climbedthe fence with a reluctance that was the more noticeable because hisclimbing was retarded by the oilcloth-covered parcel he held beneathhis arm. The lady smiled as she noticed that he had not feared hissoliciting habits sufficiently to leave the book in the buggy, and shemade a mental note of this to be used in the story she meant to writeabout this book-agent type. 

"My name is Smith, " she told him, as she tripped lightly toward thegroup about the lunch baskets. 

Eliph' Hewlitt was a small man and his movements were short and jerky. He drew his hand over his red whiskers and coughed gently when shementioned her name, and as she hurried on before him he looked at hertall, straight figure; noticed the stylish mode of her simple summergown, and caught a glimpse of low, white shoes and neat ankles coveredby delicately woven silk. 

"Courtship--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to HoldThem When Won, " he meditated. "Lovely, but she will not suit. She is anencyclopedia of knowledge and compendium of literature, science and art, but she is not the edition I can afford. She is gilt-edged and moroccobound, and an ornament to any parlor, but I can't afford her. My styleis cloth, good substantial cloth, one dollar down and one dollar a monthuntil paid. As I might say. "

CHAPTER II. Susan

Mrs. Tarbro-Smith had arranged the picnic herself, hoping to bring alittle pleasure into the dullness of the summer, enliven the interest inthe little church, and make a pleasant day for the people of Clarence, and she had succeeded in this as in everything she had undertaken duringher summer in Iowa. As the leader of her own little circle of brightpeople in New York, she was accustomed to doing things successfully, andperhaps she was too sure of always having things her own way. As sisterof the world-famous author, Marriott Nolan Tarbro, she was alwaysreceived with consideration in New York, even by editors, but in seekingout a dead eddy in middle Iowa she had been in search of the two thingsthat the woman author most desires, and best handles: local color andtypes. The editor of MURRAY'S MAGAZINE had told her that his nativeground--middle Iowa--offered fresh material for her pen, and, intenton opening this new mine of local color, she had stolen away withoutletting even her most intimate friends know where she was going. To haveher coming heralded would have put her "types" on their guard, and forthat reason she had assumed as an impenetrable incognito one-half hername. No rays of reflected fame glittered on plain Mrs. Smith. 

While her literary side had found some pleasure in studying the peopleshe had fallen among, she was not able to recognize the distinctnessof type in them that the editor of MURRAY'S had led her to believe sheshould find. She had hoped to discover in Clarence a type as sharplydefined as the New England Yankee or the York County Dutch ofPennsylvania, but she could not see that the middle Iowan was anythingbut the average country person such as is found anywhere in Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio, a type that is hard to portray with fidelity, exceptwith rather more skill than she felt she had, since it is composed ofinnumerable ingredients drawn not only from New England, but from nearlyevery State, and from all the nations of Europe. However, her kindnessof heart had been able to exert itself bountifully, and she had hadenough experience in her sundry searches for local color to know thata lapse of time and of distance would emphasize the types she was nowseeing, and that by the middle of the winter, when once more in her NewYork apartment, her present experiences and observations would havethe right perspective, and their salient features would stand out moreplainly. So she won the hearts of her hostess, and of the dozen or morechildren of the house, with small gifts, and overjoyed with this she setabout making the whole community happier. Little presents, smiles, andkind words meant so much to the overworked, hopeless women, and hercheery manner was so pleasant to men and children, that all worshippedher--clumsily and mutely, but whole-heartedly. She was a fairy lady tothem. 

The truth was that, in her eagerness to secure the most vivid kind oflocal color, she had gone a step too far. Clarence, with its decayedsidewalks and rotting buildings, was not typical of middle Iowa any morethan a stagnant pool lift by a receded river after a flood is typicalof the river itself. Before the days of railroads Clarence had beena lively little town, but it was on the top of a hill, and, when theengineer of the Jefferson Western Railroad had laid his ruler on the mapand had drawn a straight line across Iowa to represent the course of theroad, Clarence had been left ten or twelve miles to one side, and, asthe town was not important enough to justify spoiling the beauty of thestraight line by putting a curve in it, a station was marked on theroad at the point nearest Clarence, and called Kilo. For a while the newstation was merely a sidetrack on the level prairie, a convenience forthe men of Clarence, but before Clarence knew how it had happened Kilowas a flourishing town, and the older town on the hill had begun todecay. Even while Clarence was still sneering at Kilo as a sidetrackvillage, Kilo had begun to sneer at Clarence as a played-out crossroadssettlement. Clarence, when Mrs. Tarbro-Smith visited it, was no moretypical of middle Iowa than a sunfish really resembles the sun. 

In Clarence Mrs. Smith's best loved and best loving admirer was Susan, daughter of her hostess, and, to Mrs. Smith, Susan was the long soughtand impossible--a good maid. From the first Susan had attached herselfto Mrs. Smith, and, for love and two dollars a week, she learned allthat a lady's maid should know. When Mrs. Smith asked her if she wouldlike to go to New York, Susan jumped up and down and clapped her hands. Susan was as sweet and lovable as she was useful, and under Mrs. Smith'scare she had been transformed into such a thing of beauty that Clarencecould hardly recognize her. Instead of tow-colored hair, crowded back bymeans of a black rubber comb, Susan had been taught a neat arrangementof her blonde locks--so great is the magic of a few deft touches. Instead of being a gawky girl of seventeen, in a faded blue calicowrapper, Susan, as transformed by one of Mrs. Smith's simple whitegowns, was a young lady. She so worshipped Mrs. Smith that she imitatedher in everything, even to the lesser things, like motions of the hand, and tossings of the head. 

When Mrs. Smith broached the matter of taking Susan to New York, shereceived a shock from Mr. And Mrs. Bell. She had not for one momentdoubted that they would be delighted to find that Susan could have agood home, good wages, and a city life, instead of the existence in sucha town as Clarence. 

"Well, now, " Mr. Bell said, "we gotter sort o' talk it over, me an' ma, 'fore we decide that. Susan's a'most our baby, she is. T'hain't but fourof 'em younger than what she is in our fambly. We'll let you know, hey?"

Ma and Pa Bell talked it over carefully and came to a decision. The decision was that they had better talk it over with some of theneighbors. The neighbors met at Bell's and talked it over openly in thepresence of Mrs. Smith. 

They agreed that it would be a great chance for Susan, and they saidthat no one could want a nicer, kinder lady for boss than what Mrs. Smith was--"but 'tain't noways right to take no risks. "

"You see, ma'am, " said Ma Bell, "WE don't know who you are no more thannothin', do we? And we do know how as them big towns is ungodly to beatthe band, don't we? I remember my grandma tellin' me when I was a littlegirl about the awful goin's on she heard tell of one time when shewas down to Pittsburg, and I reckon New York must be twice the size ofPittsburg was them days, so it must be twice as wicked. So we tell youplain, without meanin' no harm, that WE don't know who you are, nor whatyou'd do with Susan, once you got her to New York. "

"Oh, I now what you want, " said Mrs. Smith; "you want references. "

"Them's it, " said Mrs. Bell, with great relief. 

"Well, " said Mrs. Smith, "that is easy. I know EVERYBODY in New York. "

She thought a moment. 

"There's Mr. Murray, of MURRAY'S MAGAZINE, " she suggested, mentioningher friend of the great monthly magazine. 

"Guess we never heard of that, " said Mrs. Bell doubtfully. 

"Then do you know the AEON MAGAZINE? I know the editor of AEON. "

The neighbors and Mrs. Bell looked at each other blankly, and shooktheir heads. 

Mrs. Smith named ALL the magazines. She had contributed stories to mostof them, but not one was known, even by name, to her inquisitors. Oneshy old lady asked faintly if she had ever heard of Mr. Tweed. Shethought she had heard of a Mister Tweed of New York, once. 

Then, quite suddenly, Mrs. Smith remembered her own brother, the greatMarriott Nolan Tarbro, whose romances sold in editions of hundreds ofthousands, and who was, beyond all doubt, the greatest living novelist. Kings had been glad to meet him, and newsboys and gamins ran shouting athis heels when he walked the streets. 

"How silly of me, " she said. "You must have heard of my brother, Marriott Nolan Tarbro, you know, who wrote 'The Marquis of Glenmore' and'The Train Wreckers'?"

Mrs. Bell coughed apologetically behind her hand. 

"I'm not very littery, Mrs. Smith, " she said kindly, "but mebby Mrs. Stein knows of him. Mrs. Stein reads a lot. "

Mrs. Stein, whose sole reading was the Bible and such advertisingbooklets as came by mail, or as she could pick up on the counter of thedrugstore, when she went to Kilo, moved uneasily. For years she had hadthe reputation of being a great reader, and brought face to face withthe sister of an author she feared her reputation was about to fall. 

"What say his name was?" she asked. 

"Tarbro, " said Mrs. Smith, as one would mention Shakespeare or Napoleon. "Tarbro. Marriott Nolan Tarbro. "

"Well, " said Mrs. Stein slowly, turning her head on one side and lookingat the spot on the ceiling from which the plaster had fallen, "I won'tsay I haven't. And I won't say I have. When a person reads as much aswhat I do, she reads so many names they slip out of memory. Just thisminute I don't quite call him to mind. Mighty near, though; I mind afeller once that peddled notions through here name of Tarbox. Might youknow him?"

"No, " said Mrs. Smith, "I haven't the honor. "

"I thought mebby you might know him, " said Mrs. Stein. "His businesstook him 'round considerable, and I thought mebby it might have took himto New York, and that mebby you might have met him. "

Mrs. Bell sighed audibly. 

"It's goin' to be an awful trial to Susan if she can't go, " she said;"but I dunno WHAT to say. Seems like I oughtn't to say 'go, ' an' yet Ican't abear to say 'stay. '"

"I MUST have Susan, " said Mrs. Smith, putting her arm about the girl. "Iknow you can trust her with me. "

"Clementina, " said Mr. Bell suddenly, "why don't you leave it to theminister? He'd settle it for the best. Why don't you leave it to him?Hey?"

"Well, bless my stars, " said Mrs. Bell, brightening with relief, "I'dought to have thought of that long ago. He WOULD know what was for thebest. I'll ask him to-morrow. "

To-morrow was the picnic day. 

As Mrs. Smith led the way for Eliph' Hewlitt, the minister left thegroup of women who had clustered about him, and walked toward her. 

"Sister Smith, " he said, in his grave, kind way, "Sister Bell tellsme you want to carry off our little Susan. You know we must be wise asserpents and gentle as doves I deciding, and"--he laid his hand on herarm--"though I doubt not all will be well, I must think over the mattera while. Welcome, brother, " he added, offering his hand to Eliph'Hewlitt. 

The little book agent shook it warmly. 

"'I was a stranger and ye took me in, '" he said glibly. "Fine weatherfor a picnic. "

His eyes glowed. To meet the minister first of all! This was good, indeed. Years of experience had taught him to seek the minister first. To start the round of a small community with the prestige of havingsold the minister himself a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia made success acertainty. 

He took the oilcloth-covered parcel from beneath his arm, and handed itto the minister gently, lovingly. 

"Keep it until the picnic is over, " he said. "I'm a book agent. I sellbooks. THIS is the book I sell. Take it away and hide it, so I canforget it and be happy. Don't let me have it until the picnic is over. PLEASE don't!"

He stretched out his arms in freedom, and the minister smiled and ledthe way toward the place where a buggy cushion had been laid on thegrass as his seat of honor. 

"I will retain the book, " said the minister, with a smile, "although Idon't think you can sell the book here. My brethren in Clarence are notreaders. I read little myself. We are poor; we have no time to read. Except the Bible, I know of but one book in this entire community. Sister Dawson has a copy of Bunyan's sublime work, 'Pilgrim's Progress. 'It was an heirloom. Be seated, " he said, and Eliph' Hewlitt seatedhimself Turk-fashion, on the sod. 

The minister took the book carefully on his knees. Even to feel a newbook was a pleasure he did not often have, and his fingers itched uponit. 

In three minutes Eliph' Hewlitt knew the entire story of Mrs. Smith andSusan, so far as it was known to the minister, and he leaned over andtapped with his forefinger the book on the minister's knee. 

"Open it, " he said. 

The minister removed the wrapper. 

"Page 6, Index, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, turning the pages. He ran hisfinger down the page, and up and down page 7, stopped at a line on page8, and hastily turned over the pages of the book. At page 974 he laidthe book open, and the minister adjusted his spectacles and read wherethe book agent pointed. Then he pushed his spectacles up on hisforehead and looked carefully at the picnickers. He singled out Mrs. Tarbro-Smith, and waved her toward him with his hand. She came and stoodbefore him. 

The minister wiped his spectacles on his handkerchief, readjusted themon his nose, and bent over the book. 

"What is your brother's name?" he asked kindly, but with solemnity. 

"Marriott Nolan Tarbro, " she answered. 

He traced the lines carefully with his finger. 

"Born?" he asked. 

"June 4, 1864, at Tarrytown-on-the-Hudson. "

"And he is married?"

"Married Amanda Rogers Long, at Newport, Rhode Island, June 14, 1895. "

"Where is he living now?" he asked. 

"Last year he was living in New York--I am a widow, as you know--butlast fall he went to Algiers. "

"The book says Algiers. What-er-clubs is he a member of?"

"Oh, yes, " said Mrs. Smith; "The Authors and The Century. "

"I have no doubt, " said the minister, "from what the book says, and whatyou say, that you are indeed the sister of this--ah--celebrated"--helooked at the book--"celebrated novelist, who is a man of such standingthat he received--ah--several more lines in this work than the average, more, in fact, than Talmage, more than Beecher, and more than thepresent governor of the State of Iowa. I think I may safely advise Mrs. Bell to let Susan go with you. "

"One!" said Eliph' Hewlitt quickly. "That's just ONE question that cameup flaring, and was mashed flat by Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledgeand Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, a book in which areten thousand and one subjects, fully treated by the best minds of thenineteenth and twentieth centuries. One subject for every day in theyear for twenty-seven years, and some left over. Religion, politics, literature, every subject under the sun, gathered in one grand colossalencyclopedia with an index so simple that a child can understand it. See page 768, 'Texts, Biblical; Hints for Sermons; The Art of PulpitEloquence. ' No minister should be without it. See page 1046, 'PulpitOrators--Golden Words of the Greatest, comprising selections fromSpurgeon, Robertson, Talmage, Beecher, Parkhurst, ' et cetery. A bookthat should be in every home. Look at 'P': Poets, Great. Poison, Antidotes for. Poker, Rules of. Poland, History and Geography of, withMap. Pomeroy, Brick. Pomatum, How to Make. Ponce de Leon, Voyages andLife of. Pop, Ginger, ' et cetery, et cetery. The whole for the small sumof five dollars, bound in cloth, one dollar down and one dollar a monthuntil paid. "

The minister turned the pages slowly. 

"It seems a worthy book, " he said hesitatingly. 

Eliph' Hewlitt looked at Mrs. Smith, with a question in his eyes. 

She nodded. 

"Ah!" he said. "Mrs. Smith, sister of the well-known novelist, MarriottNolan Tarbro, takes two copies of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art, bound in full morocco, one ofwhich she begs to present to the worthy pastor of this happy flock, withher compliments and good wishes. "

"I can't thank you, " stammered the minister; "it is so kind. I have sofew books, and so few opportunities of securing them. "

Eliph' Hewlitt held out his hand for the sample volume. 

"When you have this book, " he declared, "you NEED no others. It makes aCarnegie library of the humblest home. "

The entire picnic had gradually gathered around him. 

"Ladies and gents, " he said, "I have come to bring knowledge and powerwhere ignorance and darkness have lurked. This volume----"

He stopped and handed his sample to the minister. 

"Introduce me to the lady in the blue dress, " he said to Mrs. Smith, andshe stepped forward and made them acquainted. 

"Miss Briggs, this is Mr----"

"Hewlitt, " he said quickly, "Eliph' Hewlitt. "

"Mr. Hewlitt, " said Mrs. Smith. "Miss Sally Briggs of Kilo. "

"I'm glad to know you, Miss Briggs, " said Eliph' Hewlitt. "I hope wemay become well acquainted. As I was sayin' to Mrs. Smith, I'm a bookagent. "

For the chapter on Jarby's Encyclopedia that dealt with "Courtship--Howto Win the Affections, " said that the first step necessary was to becomewell acquainted with the one whose affections it was desired to win. Itwas not Eliph' Hewlitt way to waste time when making a sale of Jarby's, and he felt that no more delay was necessary in disposing of his heart. 

CHAPTER III. "How to Win the Affections"

Miss Sally glanced hurriedly around, seeking some retreat to which shecould fly. Mrs. Smith, having introduced Eliph' Hewlitt, had turnedaway, and the other picnickers were gathered around the minister, looking over his shoulders at the copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia. Althoughshe could have no idea, as yet, that Eliph' Hewlitt had decided to marryher, Miss Sally was afraid of him. She was a dainty little woman, withjust a few gray hairs tucked out of sight under the brown ones, butalthough she was ordinarily able to hold her own, each year that wasadded to her life made her more afraid of book agents. 

Time after time she had succumbed to the wiles of book agents. It madeno difference how she received them, nor how she steeled her heartagainst their plausible words, she always ended buying whatever they hadto sell, and after that it was a fight to get the money from her fatherwith which to pay the installments. Pap Briggs objected to paying outmoney for anything, but he considered that about the most useless thinghe could spend money for was a book. Whenever he heard there was a bookagent in Kilo he acted like a hen when she sees a hawk in the sky, readyto pounce down upon her brood, and he pottered around and scolded andcomplained and warned Miss Sally to beware, and then in the end the bookagent always made the sale, and Miss Sally felt as if she had committedseven or eight deadly sins, and it made her life miserable. Only a fewmonths before she had fallen prey to a man who had sold her a set of SirWalter Scott's Complete Works, two dollars down, and one dollar a month, and she felt that the work of urging the monthly dollar out of herfather's pocket was all she could stand. 

Why and how she bought books always remained a mystery to her; it is amystery to many book buyers how they happen to buy books. Book agentsseemed to have a mesmerizing effect on Miss sally, as serpents dazebirds before they devour them. The process applied between the time whenshe stated with the utmost positiveness that she did not want, and wouldnot buy, a book, and the time, a few minutes later, when she signed hername to the agent's list of subscribers, was something she could notfathom. 

And now she had been left face to face with a book agent, actuallyintroduced to him, and her father still under monthly miseries onaccount of Sir Walter Scott's Complete Works. 

"I don't want any books to-day, " said Miss Sally nervously, when she sawthat she could not run away. 

"And I'm not going to sell you any, " said Eliph' Hewlitt cheerfully. Hehad studied Miss Sally thoroughly, with the quick eye of the experiencedbook agent who has learned to read character at sight, and he haddecided that no more suitable Mrs. Hewlitt was he apt to find. "And I'mnot going to SELL you any, " he repeated. "This is picnic day, and I'mnot selling books, although I may say there is no day in the whole yearwhen Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art is not needed. It is a book that contains a noblethought or useful hint for every hour of every day from the cradle tothe grave, comprising ten thousand and one subjects, neatly bound. "

"I don't want one, " said Miss Sally, backing away. "I don't live here, and you might do better selling it to someone who does. "

Eliph' Hewlitt's eyes beamed kindly through his spectacles. 

"It is just as useful to them that is traveling as to them that ishome, " he said, "if not more so. If you ever took a copy along withyou on your travels you would never travel again without it. Take thechapter on 'Traveling, ' for instance, page 46. " He looked around, as ifhe would have liked to get his sample copy, but it was in such a numberof eager hands that he turned back to Miss Sally. "Take the directionson Sleeping Cars, " he said. "For that one thing alone the book is worthits price to anyone going to travel by rail. It gives full instructionshow much to give the porter, how to choose a berth, how to undress in anupper berth without damage to the traveler or the car, et cetery. And, when you consider that that is but one of the ten thousand and onethings mentioned in this volume, you can see that it is really giving itaway when I sell it, neatly bound in cloth, for five dollars. "

"I don't think I want one, " said Miss Sally doubtfully, for she wasbeginning to fall under the spell. 

"No!" said Eliph' firmly. "No! You don't. And I don't want to SELL youone. Nothing ain't farther from my mind than wanting to sell you a copyof that book. Just rest perfectly easy about THAT, Miss Briggs. We'llput 'Literature, Science, and Art' to one side and enjoy the delightsof the open air, and, if I happen to say anything that sounds like book, just you excuse me, for I don't mean it. Mebby I DO get to talking aboutthat book when I don't mean to, for it is a book that a man that knowsit as well as I do just can't HELP talking about. It's a wonderfulbook. It is a book that has all the wisdom and knowledge of the worldcondensed into one volume, including five hundred ennobling thoughtsform the world's great authors, inclusive of the prose and poetical gemsof all ages, beginning on page 201, sixty-two solid pages of them, with vingetty portraits of the authors, this being but one of the manyfeatures that make the book helpful to all people of refinement andmind. Now, when you take a book like that and bind it in a neat clothcover, making it an ornament to any center table in the country, andsell it for the small price of five dollars, it is not selling it; itis giving it away. Five dollars, neatly bound in cloth, one dollar down, and one dollar a month until paid. "

Miss Sally looked hopelessly toward the sample copy, which the ministerwas still exhibiting to the picnickers with real pleasure. She wasenthralled, but she was puzzled. Never had she bought a book thatshe had not first looked through. Invariably the agent had begun hisdissertation on the book's merits by an explanation of the illuminatedfrontispiece--if it had one--and ended by turning the last page to showthe sheet where she must sign her name, underneath those of "the otherleading citizens of this town. " There was something wrong, but she wasnot quite sure what it was. She glanced back at the eager face of Eliph'Hewlitt, and mistook the glow of "Affection, How to Hold it When Won, "for the intense glance of the predatory book seller. 

"I'll take a copy, " she said recklessly. 

Eliph' Hewlitt's face clouded, and he put out his hand as if to ward offa blow. 

"No, you won't!" he said, with distress. "You don't want one, and Iwon't sell you one. "

He cast his mind quickly over the chapter on "Courtship--How to Win theAffections, " and recalled its directions. He wished he had the book inhis hands, so that he could turn to the chapter and freshen his memory, but the first direction was, certainly, to become well acquainted. 

"I don't want to sell you one, " he said more gently. "I want to sit downon this nice grass and get acquainted. You and me are both strangershere, and I guess we ought to talk to each other. "

He seated himself as he said the word, and crossed his legs, Turk-fashion, and looked up at Miss Sally, with an invitation in hiseyes. For a minute she stood looking down at him doubtfully. She wasunable to understand the actions of this new variety of book agent thatrefused to sell books after talking up to the selling point, and shesuddenly remembered that she was away from home, and that the book wassold on installments. She flushed. Did his refusal to sell imply thatshe might not be able to pay the installments?

"I'll take a copy of that book, IF you please, " she said haughtily. "I guess there ain't no question but that I'm able to PAY for it. I'vebought books before, and paid for them; and I guess I'm just as ableto pay as most folks you sell to. If you've any doubt about it, there'sreferences I can give right here in Clarence that will satisfy you. "

Eliph' Hewlitt coughed gently behind his hand, and stroked his whiskers, as he looked up at the indignant Miss Briggs. He did not want to sellher a book' it would place him in her mind once, and, probably, for all, as one of the tribe of book agents, and nothing more. Yet he could notoffend her. He might compromise by giving her a copy, but the chapteron "Courtship--How to Win the Affections, " distinctly advised this as alater act. First it was necessary to become well acquainted; then it wasadvisable to proceed to give small presents, books or flowers or sweetsbeing particularly mentioned, and Eliph' Hewlitt would never havethought of doing first the thing Jarby's Encyclopedia advised doingsecond. He had been selling Jarby's for many years. He had seen the"talking feature" of the colored plates of the Civil War pass, and hadseen them succeeded by colored plates of the Franco-Prussian War, andhad seen these make way for colored plates of one war after anotheruntil the present plates of the Spanish War appeared, and through allthese changes in the last chapter he had studied the book until he knewits contents as well as he knew his "two--times--two. " He could recitethe book forward or backward, read it upside down--as a book agent hasto read a book when it is in a customer's lap--or sideways, and couldturn promptly to nearly any word in it without hesitation. The more hestudied it the more he loved it and admired it and believed in it. Itwas his whole literature, and he found it to be sufficient. If he saw athing in Jarby's he knew it was so, and if it was not in Jarby's it wasnot worth knowing. Under such circumstances he could not make Miss Sallya present of the book until he and she had first become well acquainted. Jarby's said so. He scrambled hurriedly to his feet. 

"Miss Briggs, " he said earnestly, "You ain't near guessing the reasonwhy I don't want to sell you a copy of the world-famous volume. Youain't nowhere near it at all. If I was to tell you what the reason wasI guess you'd be surprised. But I ain't going to tell you. It ain'tbecause you can't pay for it, for if it was a library of one thousandvolumes at ten dollars a volume, ten dollars down and ten dollars amonth, I'd be glad to take your order. And it ain't because I ain'tgoing to sell any more copies here, because I am, and I'm going to sellall I can, right here at this picnic, just to show you what I can dowhen I try. But I ain't going to sell you one. I've got a good reason. "

Miss Sally was not fully pacified by this, for now she was sure she hadguessed the reason Eliph' Hewlitt did not want to sell her a copy. Sheimagined now that some book agent had told him of her father's aversionto books--when they had to be paid for--and that Eliph' Hewlitt waswilling to forego a sale rather than lead her into new trouble with herfather. Possibly he had met the Walter Scott man. She turned away. 

"I guess I'll go and help Mrs. Smith lay out the lunch, " she said, asthe easiest way to be rid of the annoyance. 

"I guess I'll go, too, " said Eliph' Hewlitt promptly and cheerfully. "I'm a good hand at that. It tells all about it in Jarby's Encyclopedia. Look under 'P':'Picnic Lunches. Picnic, How to Organize and Conduct. Picnic, Origin of, ' et cetery, et cetery. A book that contains all theknowledge in the world condensed into one volume, with lives of all theworld's great men, from Adam to Roosevelt, and the dying words of themthat is dead. "

Miss Sally turned on him sharply. 

"Goodness sakes!" she exclaimed, "I wish you would either sell me a copyof that book or keep still about it. Ain't I going to have no peace atall?"

"I didn't mention it, did I?" asked Eliph' Hewlitt innocently, and hedid not know that he had. "I was speaking of this happy gathering. Ain'tit pretty to see all kinds of folks gathered together this way to makeeach other happier? It's like a living Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledgeand Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, a little of everythingin one volume, and all of it good. All the good things from parson topickles. I suppose you put up your own pickles, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, " said Miss Sally, who was now walking toward where theladies were unpacking the lunch. "Why do you ask it?"

"It called to my mind the recipe for making pickles that is in Jarby'sEncyclopedia, " said Eliph', unmindful of the look of anger that flushedMiss Sally's face at the mention of that book. "Them that has triedit says it is the best they have ever used. That and seven hundred andninety-nine other tested recipes, all contained in the chapter called'The Complete Kitchen Guide, ' see page 100, including roasts, fries, pastry, cakes, bread, puddings, entrées, soups, how to make candy, howto clean brass, copper, silver, tin, et cetery, et cetery. Them thatuses Jarby's tested recipes as given in this volume, uses no other. "

There was a stiffening of Miss Sally's back as she walked ahead of him, and even Eliph' Hewlitt could not fail to observe it. It told plainlythat if he could have seen her lips he would have seen them closefirmly, and he made haste to reassure her. 

"I ain't trying to sell you a book, " he said, taking a quicker step toreach her side, but she hurried the more as he did so, and crowded inamong the other women so that he could not follow. He stood a momentwatching her, but she began talking rapidly to one of the women, ignoring him conspicuously, and he coughed gently behind his hand, as ifto apologize for her affront, and then walked away. 

He could not account for his poor success in getting well acquaintedwith Miss Sally, and he began to fear that he had not fully understoodthe directions given by Jarby's Encyclopedia in the chapter on"Courtship--How to Win the Affections. " He realized that he had usedthat chapter less often in talking up a sale than he had used any other, and that for that reason he had studied it less closely, and he sawnow, more than ever, that there was no chapter in the whole book that apossessor could afford to neglect. He walked over to where the ministerwas still holding the book, but now holding it closed in his lap, andhe asked politely if he might have it for a few minutes. The ministerhanded it to him, and Eliph', walking to where one of the smaller treesof the grove made a spot of shade, seated himself, and fixed his eyes onthe chapter on "Courtship--How to Win the Affections. "

For the first time in his life he was unable to fix his attention firmlyon the pages of Jarby's Encyclopedia. His eyes insisted on turningto where Miss Sally moved about the cloth spread on the grass; thetablecloth on which green bugs and black bugs and brown bugs werealready parading, as bugs always do at a picnic. Occasionally hestroked his sandy-gray whiskers, and whenever she turned her face in hisdirection he cast his eyes upon his book, but he could not read. 

He hoped he would have the good fortune to be seated next to Miss Sallywhen the lunch time came, and he had little doubt that he would be nearher, for it was likely that he and she, being strangers, would be putnear the minister. He closed the book, seeing at length that it wasimpossible for him to read it, and, as the men began to bring thecushions from the buggies and place them around the cloth, he arose andwent to bring his own to add to the supply. As he reached the fence, abarefoot boy, mounted on a horse with no other saddle than a blanket, came galloping down the road, and stopped before him. 

"Say, " said the boy, wide-eyed with importance, "is Sally Briggs inthere?"

Eliph' said she was. 

"Well, say, " said the boy, "she's got to go home to Kilo, right away. Her dad telephoned up, and he don't know whether he's dying or not, andshe's got to go right home. "

Eliph' turned and hurried to where Miss Sally was standing. 

"I hope it ain't nothing serious, Miss Briggs, " he said, "but that boyhas come to give you a message that come by telephone. I think yourfather ain't well. "

Miss Sally dropped the cake she was holding, and ran to the fence. 

"What is it?" she gasped. 

"Well, " said the boy, "my dad was in the post office just now, and thetelephone bell rang, and he looked around to see where Julius was, and Julius he had gone outside to see what Mr. Fogarty, from up to theCorners, wanted. I don't know what he wanted. Pa didn't tell me. I don'tknow as pa knew, anyway, but I guess he wanted something, or else hewouldn't have motioned Julius to go out, unless he just wanted to talkto Julium. Mebby he just wanted to ask Julius if there was any mail forhim. So pa answered the telephone. "

"Well, what did it say?" asked Miss Sally impatiently. 

"You've got a pa, haven't you?" asked the boy. 

"Yes, " said Miss Sally. 

"Well, has he got false teeth?" asked the boy. 

"Yes, " said Miss Sally more impatiently. 

"Well, that's all right, then, " said the boy. "Pa couldn't tell exactlywhether it was false teeth or not, the telephone at the post officeworks so poor, and pa ain't no hand at it, anyhow. He said it soundedlike false teeth. So you pa wants you to come right home to Kilo. Mebbyhe's dying. "

"Dying!" cried Miss Sally, as white as a sheet. 

"Yes, mebby he is, " continued the boy. "He ain't right sure, but he saysyou'd better come right home, so if he IS dying you'll be on hand. And, if he ain't, you can help him hunt for them. He says he went to bed lastnight, same as always, but he don't recall whether he took out his falseset of teeth or left them in, and he ain't sure whether he swallowedthem last night, or put them down somewheres and lost them. He says he'sgot a pain like he swallowed them, but he ain't sure but what it's someof the cooking he's been doing that give him that, and anyway he wantsyou to come right home. "

"Goodness sakes!" exclaimed Miss Sally, "why don't he go see DocWeaver?"

The boy shook his head. 

"I don't know, " he said. "I guess pa didn't think to ask him that. I'llhave to ask him when I git back. "

The departure of Miss Sally made a break in the orderly progress of thepicnic, for it not only terminated her part of the day's pleasures, butalso cut short her visit in Clarence, and she had to say farewell to allthe picnickers before she could go. 

Eliph' Hewlitt offered to drive her to Clarence, but she refused him, and arranged to have one of the young boys, who had a faster horse, drive her to Kilo. The whole picnic leaned over the rail fence andwatched until she was out of sight, and then went on with the lunch, which was just ready when her summons came. 

It was a severe blow to Eliph' Hewlitt. He had hoped to have carried hiscourtship so far during the day that it would have been at least tothe third paragraph of the first page of "Courtship--How to Win theAffections, " and now Miss Sally had left, and he had not progressed atall. It reminded him of the quotation in the Alphabet of Quotations, inJarby's Encyclopedia, "The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth. "

Miss Sally's departure, however, and the strange circumstance of it, allowed him to ask questions about her and about Kilo that he could nototherwise have asked. He learned how far she would have to travel toreach Kilo, who her father was, and all that he wished to know. Hedecided that the only course for him to follow was to omit his canvassof the interlying farms and of the town of Clarence for the present, andfollow Miss Sally to Kilo. 

When the picnic ended, Irontail had released the rein, and Eliph'Hewlitt drove off, well pleased with his day's work. He had not onlysecured a wife--for he had no doubt that it only needed an applicationof the rules set forth in Jarby's Encyclopedia in order to "Win theAffections" of Miss Sally, and "Hold Them When Won, " but he tookwith him subscriptions for sixteen volumes of Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, bound in cloth, five dollars, and two bound in morocco, at seven fifty. 

CHAPTER IV. Kilo

The next evening Jim Wilkins, landlord of the Kilo House and proprietorof the Kilo Livery, Feed and Sale Stable, was sitting in front of hishotel, with his chair tipped back against the wall, trading bits ofindolent gossip with Pap Briggs, when Eliph' Hewlitt drove his horseIrontail down Main Street, and pulled up before the hotel. Pap Briggshad not swallowed his store teeth; he had not even worn them to bed, andMiss Sally found them on top of the pump in the back yard, where Pap haddoubtless put them when he went to pump himself a drink. He often lostthem, as he wore them more for ornament than for use, and commonlyremoved them when he wished to talk, eat, or laugh. It was Sally whomade him buy them, and he wore them more for her sake than for anyother reason, and he was always uncomfortable with them, for they werea plain, unmistakable misfit, and felt, as he said, "like I got mymouth full o' tenpenny nails. " When out of Sally's sight he avoidedthis feeling by carrying them in his hand, hidden in his red bandanahandkerchief. About town he used to show them with a great deal ofpride, and openly boasted of their cost and beauty. On Sunday he worethem all day. 

Whenever Eliph' Hewlitt drove into a town he looked about with a seeingeye, for he had learned to judge the capacity of a place for Jarby'sEncyclopedia by the appearance of the town, but as he drove into Kilohe was more than usually interested. If this was the home of Miss SallyBriggs, it followed that when he had completed his courtship, and hadwon her affections and held them, it would be his home, also, and he wascurious to see whether it was a town he would like or not like. He likedit. It was a real American town, and it looked like a good businesstown, because there could be no possible reason for people building atown on that particular situation unless it was for business. 

The town was built on a flat space, and the country was flat on allsides of it. It was on no river, brook, or creek. It was as unbeautifulin location as it was in architecture. It was just a homely, common, busy little Iowa village, and even so late in the evening it was as hotas Sahara; but Eliph' Hewlitt knew it at once for a good town, forthe street was knee deep in dust, which meant much trade, and the fourbuildings at the corners of Main and Cross Streets were of brick, whichmeant profitable business. There were a couple of other brick buildingson Main Street, and one or two with "tin" fronts, and of the otherbusiness places only one or two were so ramshackle that they lookedas if their firmer neighbors were holding them up, letting the weakerstructures lean against them as a strong man might support an invalid. 

Eliph' Hewlitt liked the town; it was just his idea of what a townshould be, not much as to style, but business-like. There were two fullblocks of Main Street devoted to business, and nearly half a block ofCross Street was given over to the same purpose, and the dwellings werewell scattered over the surrounding level tract. Three or four of thedwellings "out Main Street" had conspicuous lawns that had felt theblades of a lawn mower, but most of the yards were merely grass, withflower beds filled with the more hardy kinds of flowers, such as wouldgrow tall and show over the top of the surrounding grass. The plankwalks, which on Main and Cross Streets were made of boards laidcrossways, tapered down into narrow walks with the boards--two ofthem--laid lengthways very soon after the stores were passed, and alittle farther out became dirt paths along the fences, and beyond thatpedestrians were supposed to walk on the road. But most of the houseswere painted, either freshly, or at least not anciently. 

The corner of Main and Cross Streets, the business center of Kilo, waslike the business centers of other small country towns. A long hitchingrail extended at the side of the street before the buildings on eachcorner, and the dirt beneath was worn away by the scraping of the feetof the many horses that had been tied to the rails. Just below thecorner, on Cross Street, were other holes worn by tossing horseshoes atpegs, which, if America was composed of small towns only, would be ournational game. 

It was a good little town, and Eliph' Hewlitt was pleased. 

On one of the corners of Main Street stood the Kilo Hotel, and before itEliph' checked the slow gait of Irontail. 

Jim Wilkins, the landlord, tipped his chair forward, and got out of itwith a grunt of laziness. 

"Hotel running?" asked Eliph' Hewlitt briskly. 

"You might call it runnin' if you wasn't dictionary--particular what youcalled it, " said the landlord. "If you had to keep it you'd more likelysay it was tryin' to learn to walk. But it's open for business. Wantyour rig put up?"

"Yes, " admitted Eliph'. "I've had my supper. "

"That's all right, " said the landlord cheerfully. "I'm sort of glad ofit; save the old lady gittin' up a meal. I was just tellin' Pap Briggshere that I figgered Kilo had the hottest mean summer temperature, andthe meanest hot summer temperature on earth, and it's hotter over akitchen stove than anywheres else. We generally have cold suppers inthis here hotel, unless some guest happens in. Hey, S. Potts! Come hereand git this feller's horse!"

The livery stable was convenient, just around the corner on CrossStreet, and S. Potts came lankly and lazily around the corner. He stoodand looked at Irontail a minute critically, and then felt the horse'shocks and shook his head at the result of his investigation. Then heopened Irontail's mouth and looked at his teeth. 

"Well, I'll be hanged!" he said, and he called around the corner, "Hey, Daniel!" and from the livery stable came a very old man. 

"Look at this, " said S. Potts, opening Irontail's mouth again, andDaniel looked and shook his head, as S. Potts had done. 

"And feel this, " said S. Potts, putting his hand on Irontail's hockagain. Daniel felt as he was told, and again shook his head. 

"Now, what do you make of that?" asked S. Potts triumphantly. 

"I dunno what to make of it, S. Potts, " said the old man, shaking hishead. "What do you make of it?"

The landlord broke in upon the conversation with sudden energy. 

"Look here, " he said, "you git that horse around to the stable, and shutup, " and S. Potts and Daniel hastily clambered into the buggy and drovearound the corner. 

"I wonder if anything's the mater with my horse?" said Eliph'. 

"Matter?" laughed Jim Wilkins. "That's just S. Potts tryin' to show offbefore strangers, like he always does. He don't mean no harm, but hecan't be satisfied to just come around and git a horse and lead it tothe stable. He's got to draw attention to hisself or he ain't happy. He's harmless, but he's just naturally one of the know-it-all-kind, andhe's got to show off. "

There is no man in a small town who can give such a satisfying andofficial welcome to a stranger as that given by the liveryman, andwhen the landlord of the hotel and the owner of the livery stable arecombined in one man he is better than a reception committee composed ofthe mayor and the leading citizens. He is glad to see the stranger, andhe lets him know it. He has a gruff, hearty, and not too servile manner, and a way of speaking of the men of the town and the farmers of thesurrounding country as if he owned them. Having bought horses of many ofthem, he knows their bad traits, and he has an air of knowing much morethan he would willingly tell regarding them. He is not inquisitiveabout the stranger's business, and is willing to give him information. Probably it is his trade of buying and selling and renting horses thatgives him such a flavor of his own, for he knows that the horses helets out on livery are often as intelligent as the men who hire them. He comes as near the chivalric model of the old Southern planter as aNorthern business man can, but his slaves are horses, and his overseerthe hostler. He is a man in authority, even though is authority is overhorses. 

Modern civilization has few finer sights and sounds than the liverymanwhen he is asked if he has a horse he can let out for a ten-mile driveinto the country. He looks at the supplicant doubtfully; "Well, Idunno, " he says, "where was it you wanted to drive to?" He receives theanswer with a non-committal air. "That's nearer fourteen mile than ten, "he says and then turns to the hostler. "Say, Potts, Billy's out, ain'the?" Potts growls out the answer, "Doc Weaver's got him out. Won't beback till seven. " The liveryman pulls slowly at his cigar, and runs hishand over his hair. "How's the bay mare's hoof today?" he asks. Pottsshakes his head. "That's right, " says the liveryman, "it don't do totake no chances with a hoof like that. And we haven't got a thing elsein the barn except that black horse, have we, Potts?" "Everything elseout, " says Potts. The liveryman walks away a few steps, and then turnssuddenly. "Hitch up the black, Potts, " he says, with an air of suddenrecklessness. "Put him in that light, side-bar buggy of Doc Weaver's. Want a hitching strap? Put in a hitching strap, Potts. AND that newwhip. "

The result is that you get the horse and buggy the liveryman intendedyou to have from the minute he saw you coming toward him down thestreet, but you get it with a fine touch of style that is worth much inthis dollar and cent world. Potts drives the rig around to where youare standing, and the liveryman sends Potts back to get a clean laprobeinstead of the one that is in the buggy. He pats the horse on the neckas you climb in, and as you pick up the reins he says, as if conferringa parting favor that money could not repay, "Keep a fair tight rein onhim; it's the first time he has been out of the stable to-day. "

Eliph' Hewlitt, in his travels, had learned the value of the liveryman. He used him as friend and directory. None else could tell him so wellwhere the prosperous farmers lived, nor who was most likely to fall avictim to Jarby's Encyclopedia in the town itself. From the liverymanhe could learn which minister, if there were more than one, would be thebest to have head his list of subscribers, which lady was head of theSociety, and what society she was head of. He took one of the chairsthat were ranged along the side of the hotel, and laid his sample acrosshis knees. He chose the chair that was next to Pap Briggs, for he wasready to become acquainted with the man he intended soon to have for afather-in-law. 

"Nice town you got here, " he said. 

"She's purty good, " agreed Pap, "except for taxes. Taxes is eternalhigh, and it's all us propputy owners can do to keep 'em from goin'clean out o' sight. City council don't seem to care a dumb how high theygit. I wish't I'd stayed on my farm. "

"Taxes ain't so high here as what they are in Jefferson, Pap, " suggestedthe landlord. "If you lived down there they'd make you holler, allright. "

"Well, Jim, " said Pap, "they ain't much choice. If these here youngfellers git their way taxes will go right up. What do they want todecorate this here town all up for, anyhow? What you think young Toolewas sayin' to me to-day? He was sayin' it was a disgrace to Kilo to havethe public square rented out an' a crop o' buckwheat growin' in it. Hesays we ought to plant it in grass an' stick a fountain in the middle. But that's the way she goes; anything to raise up the taxes. All I saysto him was, 'All right, who'll pump water to make the fountain squirt?Suppose the taxpayers 'll take turns, hey?'"

"Well, " said the landlord, "I ain't in favor of a fountain, myself. Ireckon a nice piece of statuary would look better, so long as we ain'tgot water works to make the fountain fount out water. But it don't lookright to have a public square rented out to grow buckwheat in. It ain'tcity-like. "

"It brings in seven dollars a year to the town, " said Pap, "an' that'sbetter than payin' out good money for statuary. I'm agin high taxesevery time. It costs too much to live, anyhow, especially when you'vegot a daughter to support, and no money comin' in, to speak of. And justwhen some does come in, along comes a pesky book agent or somethin'and fools the women out of the money. They ought to be a law agin bookagent. City council ought to put a license on 'em, and keep 'em out oftown. "

"Some towns, " he said softly, "do have licenses against book agents. One of the relics of the dark ages, but abolished wherever the lighto' culture is loved and esteemed. What so helpful as the book? What socomforting? What so uplifting? And who but the book agent carries helpand comfort and uplift, and leaves it scattered around, one dollar downand one dollar a month until paid; who but the humble but useful bookagent? To mention but one book, Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art has carried wisdom into amillion homes, making each better and brighter. It is a book that makesthe toil of the day easy, by giving one thousand and one hints andhelps, and that sweetens rest after toil, by quotations from all theworld's great authors. In this one book----"

Pap Briggs had put his hands on the arm of his chair, preparing to runaway, but the landlord leaned forward and looked in Eliph' Hewlitt'sface. 

"Say, " he said, "is your name Mills?"

"Hewlitt, " said the book agent, "Eliph' Hewlitt. "

He turned to the landlord and looked him fairly in the face, and ashe looked the air of suspicion that had suddenly shone in his eyesvanished. 

"Jim Wilkins!" he exclaimed. "Isn't it Jim Wilkins?"

"Ain't it!" cried the landlord. "Well, I should say it is! And to think, you little, sawed-off propagator of human knowledge didn't recognizeyour old side pardner in the field of sellin' improvin' andintellectooal works of genius! Don't say you don't remember the 'Wage ofSin, ' Sammy! Don't say you don't remember Kitty!"

"Kitty?" asked Eliph' doubtfully. 

"Well, if the little red-head ain't forgot Kitty!" exclaimed Wilkins. "Why, I MARRIED Kitty, Sammy. For an actual, truthful fact I did. And tothink I should run across Sammy Mills after all these years. "

"Hewlitt, " said Eliph'. "Eliph' Hewlitt is that name I'm known by. "

"And to think you stuck by that name all these years!" said Wilkins. "And still sellin' works of literatoor, are you? Pap, this is my oldboyhood's chum come meanderin' backwards out of the past. And stillsellin' books! Well, I don't want to discourage your ambitiousness, butI guess you've struck Kilo about the worst time in the century. Everhear of a literary writer called Sir Walter Scott? Well, sir, Kilo ischuck full of Sir Walter; full as a goat. She ain't begun to near gitthrough with Sir Walter yet, and I don't figger she'll take in no morelibraries just now. Sir Walter hit her pretty hard. "

"Ten volumes, fifteen dollars cloth, twenty dollars half morocco?"inquired Eliph' Hewlitt. 

"The identical same, " said the landlord. "I purchased a group of SirWalters in red leather myself. So did everybody in Kilo; at least Iain't found anybody that's been missed yet. Paper here got some. "

"My daughter Sally----" began the old man. 

"Same thing, " said Wilkins; "you pay just the same if you bought thebooks. Why, Sammy, there's enough Sir Walter right here in Kilo now tostart up a book business. Kilo's light on literatoor generally, but whenshe goes in, she goes in heavy. There ain't many towns where you'll findevery livin' soul ready to swaller down fifteen dollars worth of SirWalter Scott, two dollars down and one dollar a month until paid; butI calculate them ten volumes will last Kilo quite a spell, and if worstcomes to worst she won't buy no more literatoor till she gits paid up onSir Walter. I figger from my own sense of feelin's that about the worsttime to sell a feller books is when he is still payin' once a month onthe old lot. About the second time the collector drops in to collect ona set of works of literatoor, a man feels like he had been foolish, buthe grins cheerful, and pays up, but if another man drops in about thento sell another set of the world's great masterpieces it is pretty nearan insult to human intelligence. "

Eliph' Hewlitt drew his hand across his whiskers and coughed gently. 

"They told me in Jefferson, " he said softly, "that Kilo was the mostintellectual town in central Iowa. "

"Everybody says the same, " said Wilkins with a touch of pride. "The SirWalter Scott man said it, and I guess it's so. But there's other thingsbesides books. Kilo may be strong and willin' on books, but she's strongother ways, too, and just now she is lookin' at another kind of horse, and that's why I say you've miscalculated your comin'. If I was you I'dgo elsewhere and come back later. Kilo has got more books now than shecan handle without straining something, and just now her mind's off onanother tack. We struck a big missionary revival here last week, andyou can bet a wager that every dollar that goes out of Kilo these days, except what goes for dues on Sir Walter, is goin' for the brethren. Thewomen folks is havin' a sale this very evenin' to raise cash to help theheathen. "

Eliph' Hewlitt arose from his chair and tucked the oilcloth-coveredparcel that had been lying on his knees under his left arm. He was asmall man, and his movements were apt to be short and jerky. 

"Missionary sale?" he said briskly. "I guess I'll go around and lookin on it. Strangers welcome, I suppose? I'm rather fond of missionarysales, and I think the world and all of the heathen. Think the ladieswould like to see a stranger?"

Wilkins grinned. 

"Pap, " he said, "what you think? Think they'll fall on his neck if hehas any money? From what I have experienced of them sales I figger tocalculate that anybody that is anxious to buy gingham aprons an' sofapillows is sure to be took by the hand and given a front seat. I'd goaround with you, but I've got my taxes to pay, like Pap here, andI don't actually need any pink tidies. It ain't far; just up to DocWeaver's; two blocks up, and you can't miss the house. It's the yellermansion, this side the road, an' the gate's off the hinges and laid upalongside the fence. But I guess if them's your samples in that therepackage, you might as well leave them here. "

But Eliph' Hewlitt did not leave them there; he tucked them under hisarm, and hurried away with brisk little steps. 

CHAPTER V. Sammy Mills

"There ought to be a license agin book agents, " said Pap Briggsspitefully, when Eliph' Hewlitt had hurried away. 

"It wouldn't harm that feller, " said Wilkins. "He's a red hot one atbook-agenting, he is, an' he'd find out some way to git round it. Ihear lot of book agents that come round this way tell of him. He's got arecord of sellin' more copies of that encyclopedia book of his thanany one man ever sold of any one book, an' he's a sort of hero of thebook-agenting business. It makes me proud to call to remembrance thathim an' me was kids together down at Franklin, years ago. Him an' metook to the book-agentin' biz the same day, we did. I needed cash, likeI always do, and he had literatoor in the family. So we went an' didit. We did it to Gallops Junction first, and after that Eliph' sowedliteratoor pretty general all over Iowa, an' next I heard of him allover the United States. Iowa is now a grand State, an as full of cultureas a Swiss cheese is full of holes, an' I don't take all the creditfor it; I give Eliph' his share. Hotels help to scatter the seed, butliteratoor scatters more. 

"One day, down there at Franklin, Eliph' says to me, 'Jim, you know thatbook pa wrote?' That's what Eliph' remarked to me on the aforesaid day, but I wish to state his name wasn't Eliph' on that date, an' it wasn'tHewlitt, neither. It was plain Sammy; Sammy Mills. Eliph' Hewlitt was asort of fancy name my pa had give to a horse he had that he thought wasa racer, but wasn't. It was a good enough horse to enter in a race, butnot good enough to win. It was the kind of race horse that kept pa poor, but hopeful. 

"'Why, yes, Sammy, ' I says, 'I've heard tell of that grand literaryeffort of your dad. '

"'Well, ' he says--we was sittin' on the porch of his pa's house--'Pa hehad a thousand of them printed. '

"'Dickens he did!' I remarked, supposin' it was us to me to do someremarkin'. 

"'And, ' says Sammy, 'he's got eight hundred an' sixty-four of themhighly improvin' an' intellectooal volumes stored in the barn rightnow. '

"'Quite a lib'ry, ' I says, off-hand like. 

"'Numerous, but monotonous, ' says Sam. 'As a lib'ry them books don'tgive the variety of topics they oughter. They all cling to the samesubject too faithful. Eight hundred an' sixty-four volumes of the"Wage of Sin, " all bound alike, don't make what I call a rightlydifferentiated lib'ry. When you've read one you've read all. '

"'Alas!' I says, or somthin' like that, sympathetic an' attentive. 

"'Likewise, ' says Sam, 'they clutter up the barn. They ought to be gotout to make room for more hay. '

"'This was indeed true. I saw it was all good sense. Horses don't taketo literatoor like they does to hay. 

"'Well, ' says Sammy, 'what's the matter with chuckin' them eight hundredan' sixty-four "Wages of Sin" into the rustic communities of thiscommonwealth of Iowa, U. S. A. ? Here we've got a barnful of high-class, intellectooal poem, an' yon we have a State full of yearnin' minds, clamorous for mental improvement at one fifty per volume. It's our dutyto chuck them poems into them minds, an' to intellectooally subside themclamors. '

"I shook my head quite strenuous. 

"'Nix for me!' I remarked; 'no book-agenting for me. '

"'Who said book-agenting?" asked Sammy, deeply offended. 'Do youcalculate that the son of a high-class author of a famous an' helpfulbook would turn book agent? Never!'

"'What then?' I asks him. 

"'Just a little salubrious an' entertainin' canvassin' for a work ofgenius, ' he says. 'A few heart-to-heart talks with the educated ladiesof Gallops Junction an' Tomville on the beauties of the "Wage of Sin. "That ain't no book-agenting, ' says he, 'that's pickin' money off thetrees. It's pie ready cut an' handed to us on a plate with a gilt edge. All we've got to do is to bite it. '

"No, let me tell you right here, Pap, that the 'Wage of Sin' was athoroughbred treat to read. It was a moral book. Next to the Bible itwas the morallest book I ever tackled, an' when W. P. Mills wrote thatbook he gave the literatoor of the U. S. A. A boost in the right directionthat it hasn't recovered from yet. It was the champion long distancepoem of the nineteenth century. That book showed what a chunky an'nervous mind old W. P Mills had. There was ten thousand verses to thatbook of poem, partitioned off into various an' sundry parts so the readthereof could sit up an' draw breath about every thousand verses, an'get his full wind ready for the run through the next slice. 

"That 'Wage of Sin' book was surely for to admire, any way you looked atit. Take the subject; it wasn't any of your little, sawed-off, one-yearsprints. No siree! W. P. Mills started away back in the front vestibuleof time. He said, right in the preface--an' that was all poetry, too--

Now, reader, go along with me Away back to eternity, A hundred thousandyears, and still Keep backing backwards if you will. 

"An' when he got away back there he sort of expectorated on his handsan' started in at Genesis, Chapter One, Verse One, an' went right alongdown through the Bible like a cross-cut saw through a cottonwood log. Henever missed a single event that was important, if true. He got all themold fellers rhymed right into that book--Jereboam, Rehoboam, Meschach, Schadrach, an' Abednego, an' all the whole caboodle, from Adam with an Ato Zaccheus with a Z. 

"That certain was a moral tome, an' no prevarication. It was plumbdrippin' with moral from start to finish. You see Eve she set the balla-rollin' when she swiped them apples. That was where she done deadwrong, and that was the 'Sin' as mentioned in the name of the book, an'old W. P. Mills he showed in that literary volume how everybody has hadto pay the 'Wages' ever since. It was great. I never read anything elsemoral that I could say I really hankered for, but I sure did enjoy thatbook. Old W. P. Mills was a wonder at poetry. 

"It beat all how vivid he made all them Old Testament people, an' thethings they did. Why, I never cared two cents for Shadrach, Meshach, an'Abednego before I read that book, but after I read it I never could gitthem lines of W. P. 's out of my head--

'The King perhaps that moment saw A thing that filled his soul withawe-Shadrach and Meshach, to and fro, Walked and talked with Abednego. '

"I tell you, you can't obliterate them three men out of your mind whenyou read that verse once. You see them walkin' in that fiery furnace, even when you're in your little bed; walkin' an' carryin' on aconversation, which, when you come to think of it, was the most naturalthing for them to be doin'. You wouldn't look to see them sit down ona hot log, or to stand still sayin' nothin'. Walk an' talk, that's whatthey did, an' it's what anybody would do in similar circumstances. Iguess fiery furnaces has that effect all the world over, but it took W. P. Mills to see it with his mind's eye, an' put it into verses. 

"So, when Sammy gently intimated to me that it was his pa's book we wasto canvass, the job looked different. I might shy at an encyclopedia, orat a life of Stephen A. Douglas, but to handle a moral volume likethe 'Wage of Sin' sort of appealed to the financial morality of myconscience. So I asked Sammy what the gentlemanly canvassers would getout of it. 

"'Pa had a lot of faith in that lyric poem, ' says Sammy to me, 'an' noone had a better right to, for he wrote it himself, but the publishinggame was dull an' depressed about the time he got ready to issue itforth, an' he was necessitated to compensate the cost of printing ithimself. And, ' he says, 'the rush an' hurry of the public to buy thatbook is such it reminds me of the eagerness of a kid to get spanked. SoI figger we can get several wagon-loads of "Wage of Sin" at fifty centsper volume. '

"'That's a cheap price, ' I says, 'That's two hundred verses for onecent, an' the cover free. '

"Sammy was one of the confidential kind that gets close up to your earand whispers, even if he is only tellin' you that it looks like rain, sohe looks all around and whispers to me:

"'We'll make our initiative beginnin' first off at Gallops Junction, 'he says, 'where we ain't known, an' where pa ain't known, an' where thebook ain't known. I've a premonition, ' he says, 'that 'twould be betterso. If we was to start in here we would get discouraged, for the folksain't used to buyin' "Wage of Sin. " They've been given it so bountifulan' free that pa can't give away another copy to the poorest man intown. They've got so that they run when they see pa comin'. '

"'You've got sense in that red head of your'n, ' I says. 

"'For me, ' he says, 'it will be merely a voluptuous excursion. It willbe pie to sell that book, because I am the son of its author. Filialrelationship to genius, ' he says, 'will make them overawed, an' gratefulto be allowed to buy of me, but you will have it harder. You can't claimnearer kin to genius than that you helped the son of it chop wood atvarious and sundry times. '

"'And gave him a handsome black eye one time, ' I says reminiscently. 'I'll make the most of that. The public likes anecdotes. '

"'No, ' says Sammy, 'you can omit to mention that black-eye business. That kind of an anecdote would be harrowing to the minds of literaryinclined gentlefolks. You can reminisce about how you helped me carrywood while I recited passages of poem out of that book at you. '

"What I would have spoke next don't matter, because I omitted to speakit. I was gettin' a glimmer of an idea into my head, and I wanted to getit clear in and settled down to stay before I lost it. It got in, an'I had a realization that it was an O. K. Idea, an' that it beat Sammy'sson-of-his-father idea quite scandalous. 

"When me an' Sammy got down to Gallops Junction we found that asa municipality of art an' beauty it was a red-hot fizzle, but as ared-hot, sizzling sandheap it was the leader of the world. As near aswe could judge from a premature look at the depot platform the principaloccupations of the grizzly inhabitants was pickin' sand burrs fromthe inside rim of their pants-leg. It was a dreary village, but Sammyrestrained my unconscious impulse to get right aboard the train again. He had that joyful light of combat in them blue eyes of his, an' helooked at that bunch of paintless houses that was dumped around theGallops Junction Hotel like Columbus must have looked at Plymouth Rockwhen he landed there. 

"I had an immediate notion that the thing for me to do was to go overto the hotel, an' sit in the shade there, an' study the inhabitants awhile, an' get the gauge of 'em, an' learn their manners an' customs, before harshly thrustin' myself into their bosoms, so I went an' didit; but Sammy proceeded immediate to visit their homes with the 'Wage ofSin' in one hand an' the torch of culture in the other. 

"The more I set under the board awning of that hotel the less Ifelt like goin' for the to uplift the populace, so I went calmly an'respectfully to sleep, like everybody else in sight, an' the gentlehours sizzled past like rows of hot griddles. 

"It was contiguous to five o'clock when I woke up, an' I had put threehours of blissful ignorance into the past, an' I seen it was too late tobegin my labors of helpfulness that day. I crossed my legs the otherway from what they had been crossed, an' I was about to extend myruminations to other thoughts, when I noticed a young female exit out ofa grocery store across the road. She had a basket of et ceterys on herarm, an' a face that was as beautiful as a ham sandwich looks to a manafter a forty days' fast. I recognized her right away as the prettiestgirl of my life's experience, an' as she stepped out I slid out of mychair an' made up my mind to make a disposal of one copy of that book assoon as she struck home. 

"She went into her house at the back door, as most folks do, an' beforeshe slid the basket off her plump but modest arm, she looked up insurprise to see what gentlemanly visitor was knockin' the paint off thescreen door with his knuckles. The glad object that her eyes beheld wasme, smilin' an' amiable, with one hand shyly feeling if my necktie wasloose, while the other concealed behind my back the interesting volumeentitled the 'Wage of Sin. '

"I won't circumlocute about how I got in and got set down on a chairalongside of the kitchen stove. Approaching the female species promptlyand slick was my hard card always. So there I set, face to face withthat beautiful specimen of female bric-a-brac, and about two inches froma ten-horse-power cook stove in full blossom. It was a warm day, andextry warm on the side of me next that stove. The night side of mefelt like sudden fever aggravated by applications of breaths from theorthodox bit of brimstone, and even my off side was perspirating some. 

"Thus situated before that young female lady, I was baked but joyous, and I set right in to sell her a 'Wage of Sin. '

"'Ma genully buys books when we buy any, but we never do, ' she says. 

"'Your ma in now?' I asks, respectful, but in a way to show that hereyes and hair wasn't being wasted on no desert hermit. 

"'Yes, she's in, ' she says. 'Looks like it's guna rain. '

"'Its some few warm, ' I says, shifting my most cooked side a little. 'Can I converse with your ma?'

"'Only in spirit, ' she says. 'Otherwise she's engaged. '

"'Dead?' I asks, her words seeming to imply her ma's having departedhence. 

"'Oh, no, ' she says, smiling. 'She's in the front room, talking. She hasa very previous engagement with a gent, and can't break away. '

"'You'll do just as well, ' I says, 'if not better. You have thatintellectual look that I always spot on the genooine lover of readingmatter. '

"'If you are gun to talk book, you better git right down to business andtalk book' she says, 'because when I whoop up that stove to git supper, as I'm gun to soon, it's liable to git warm in this kitchen. '

"I took a look at the cooking apparatus, and decided that she knew whatshe was conversing about. I liked the way she jumped right into thefact that I had a few things to say about books, too. She was anup-and-coming sort, and that's my sort. It's up-and-comingness that hasmade the Kilo Hotel what it is. 

"'All right, sister, ' I says, 'this book is the famous "Wage of Sin. "'

"'No?" she exlamates. 'Not the "Wage of Sin"? The celebrated volume byour fellow Iowan, Mr. What's-his-name?'

"'The same book!' I says, glad to know its knowledge had passed far downthe State. 'Price one-dollar-fifty per each. A gem of purest razorene. A rhymed compendium of wit, information, and highly moral so-forths. Tenthousand verses, printed on a new style rotating duplex press, and boundup in pale-gray calico. Let me quote you that sweet couplet about theflood:

"I hear the mother in her grief Imploring heaven for relief As up themountain-side she drags Herself by mountain peaks and crags. "

"'When I wrote that--'

"'When you wrote that!' she cries joyous, stopping to gaze at me. 'What!Do I see before me a real, genooine author? Do I see in our humble butnot chilly kitchen a reely trooly author?'

"'Yes'm, ' I says, modest, like G. W. When is papa caught him executingthe cherry tree. 'I wrote it. I am the author. Here, as you see me now, in tropical but dripping diffidence, I am the author of that tome. It'sa warm day. '

"She stood in my proximity and explored me with her eyes. 

"'An author!' she says, stunned but pleased. 'A real live author! My!But it is hard for me to grasp a realization of that fact. So you wroteit?'

"'Yes'm, ' I says again. 'I done it. '

"'So young, too, ' she says. 'Genius is cert'nly a wonderful phenomenus. '

"'It's easy when you know how, ' I says off-hand like. 'Book-writing isborn in us. When we get warmed up to it it's no trick at all. An authorcan't no more help authorizing than a stray pup can help scratching. '

"'But, ' she says, 'it must be true what I've heard about authorizingbeing a poor paying job. '

"'Why?' I asks, being suspicious. 

"'Because, ' she says, 'if it wasn't you wouldn't be touring around tosell your own books after you've wrote them. That is hard work. Now, Ihave to stay in this kitchen and perspire because I have to, but ifyou was rich off your books you wouldn't sit on that chair and get allstewed up. I can see that. '

"'What you can't see, ' I says, 'is that I came here just because I wasthe writer of this here composition. Money I don't desire to wish for. Being a rich man and a philanthropist, I give all I make off ofthis book to the poor. But it ain't everybody can experience thesatisfiedness of seeing a reely genooine author. So I travel aroundexhibiting myself for the good of the public. And as a special andextraordinary thing--a sort of guarantee to one and all that they haveseen a genooine living author--I write my autograph in each and everyvolume of this book that I sell at the small sum of one-fifty per. Think of it! Ten thousand verses; moral, intellectooal, and witty;cloth cover, and the author's own autograph written by himself, all forone-fifty. The autograph of the famous boy author. '

"'That's a big bargain, ' she says, thoughtful. 

"'Jigantic, ' I says

"'Genius is cert'nly a wonderful phenomenus, ' she repeats again, dreamy. 

"'Ain't it!' I responds, sniffing to see if it was my pants that wasscorching. 'Will you have one volume?'

"She hesitated, and then she says, 'No. No, I don't dast to. Not yet. Not till I see how ma comes out. Mebby she'll purchase one before shegits through being talked to. '

"I set straight upward on my hotly warmed chair. 'Being talked to!' Isays, astonished. 

"'Yes, ' says the sweet sample of girl. 'Your son, you know, MisterSamuel Mills; he's in the front room interviewing ma. '

"'My son!' I ejaculates weakly, the thermometer in my spinal backbonegoing up ten thousand degrees hotter. 

"'Such an oldish son, too, ' she says, sinfully joyous, 'for such ayoungish father. He must have been two years old the day you were born. Genius is cert'nly a wonderful phenomenus!'

"I set there a minute, wilted, but nervous. Then I got hot, and arose inanger. 

"'My son!' I says, scornful. 'So that's what he says, it is? Disgracinghis father in that way! All right for him! I disown him out of myfamily. And I furthermore remark that he ain't my son, nor never was. '

"'Well, ' she says, 'you needn't get so hot about it. He's a hard worker. He's been here all day. '

"'I ain't hot, ' I says, forgetting that my temperature was torrid plusglowing, 'but I'm mad to think that that boy which I hired to sell mybook should pass himself off as my son, and then stay talking all dayin one place, instead of selling books throughout the promiscuousneighborhood. '

"'Then, ' she says, as if for the first time seeing light, 'that youngman in their ain't no son of the author of this "Sin" book?'

"'Never; subsequent nor previous, nor wasn't, nor will be, ' I solemnlymade prevarication. 

"'Well, ' she says, 'he said he was when he come in; and me and ma didn'tthink it likely an author person would have his son out book-peddling, so we asservated back that he wasn't; and him and ma has been having ahigh-grade talking match all day in the front parlor to convince eachother otherwise than what they are convinced of. '

"'Him, ' continued the lovely girl, 'says he'll sell ma a book BECAUSEhe's the son of the author thereof, and ma says she'll buy a book if heowns up truthful that he ain't the son of the author thereof. She saysthat if she buys a book off of him when he's making false witness ofhaving a talented dad she'll be encouraging lying, which she can't do, being a full-blood Baptist. So they've got a deadlock, and the jury ishung, and the plurality is equal and unbiased on both sides, and up todate nobody wins. '

"'Then, ' I says, 'I don't sell no "Wage of Sin" do I?'

"'Not as no author if it, ' she says. 'If you want to tackle us as acommon book agent, you'll find us right in the market. '

"'Katie, ' I says, 'call your ma out here a minute. If I can sell a copyof this volume I am willing to sell my birthmark for a mess of potashany day of the week. '

"'That, ' she says, cheerful, 'is spoke like a financier and agentleman. '

"With that she started for the front room, but just then the door swungopen, and out came her ma and Sammy, tired with fatigue, but satisfied. 

"'What!' says the young daughter, 'is the tie untied? Is the jawfestconcluded?'

"'It is, ' says the maternal ancestor of that girl, weak but happy. 'Wetalked seven miles and six furloughs, but I won. He has renounced hissin. He ain't no son of no author. I've boughten his book. '

"I gazed at Sammy with a moist, reproachful eye. 

"'Sammy! Sammy!' I says, shaking my head, 'to think----'

"'Hush!' he says, 'don't say it. I ain't no Sammy. I ain't no Mills. Them is not my name. '

"'Alas!' I says, mournful, 'am I then deceived since childhood's happyhours?'

"I see the respectable old lady pricking up her ears and gettingready for another season of conversation. Sammy likewise made the sameobservation, and he fended off the deadly blow. 

"'Yes, ' he says, 'I have deceived you. My name is----'

"He stopped and looked doubtful and perplexed, and scratched his earwith his forepaw. 

"'My name is----' he says, and stops, and then he turns to the elderlyfemale, and asks desperate: 'What in tunket did I say my name was?'

"'Hewlitt, ' she says, 'Eliph' Hewlitt. '

"'Oh, yes!' says Sammy, 'that's it. I guess I'll just write that down, so as to have it handy. You know, ' he says, looking at me, 'my memory'sawful bad since I had the scarlet fever. It's terrible. Why, when I comein here I knowed I had SOMETHING to say about this book, and I tried toremember, and I seemed to remember that I was the son of the author whoauthored it. I never come so near lying in my life. I'm all in a trembleover it to think how near to lying I was! An' I got the notion Eliph'Hewlitt was the name of a horse. '

"'Ma, ' says Katie, giving me a wicked smile, 'this here other youngman has got a bad scarlet fever memory, too. HE'S come near to lying, likewise. You'd ought to speak a few words of helpfulness with him, too!'

"'Now, here, ' I says, 'you pass that by, Katie. All that that I said wasa novel I was thinking of writing out when I got my full growth, whichI told you to pass the time away whiles this What's-his-name was busy. Inever wrote nothing!'

"'Well, ' she says, 'you don't look as if you had the sense to, so Iguess you ain't lying now. '

"But ma lit into me, and spent two hours, steady talk, convincing meI wasn't W. P. Mills, although every time she said I wasn't I said so, too. The more I agreed that I wasn't the more she would fire up and takea fresh hold, and try to bear it home to me that I wasn't. There wasnever in the world such a long fight, with both sides saying the samething. Ordinary persons couldn't have done it, but hat lady mothercould, an' did, an' every now an' then she would dig into Sammy again. An' all of it was right near to that enthusiastical stove. So at lastshe laid a couple of extra hard words against us an' we keeled over, as you might say, an' toppled out of the kitchen. We was dazed withlanguage that was all words, an' when we come to the gate we was sostupefied that we climbed right over it, an' so weak that we fell downoff the other side of it, an' Sammy all the time repeatin' 'Eliph'Hewlitt, ' like a man in a dream. By next day he was able to leave thehotel, an' he took the train, an' I ain't seen him until this day, soI guess he stuck right to that name, for fear he might meet the talkin'lady again. I don't see how he could get the name out of his system whenonce Katie's ma had talked it in, anyway, for she was a great talker. Iought to know, for I went back an' chinned with Katie as soon as Igot the daze out of my head, an' the long-come short-come of it was Imarried Katie. 

"When Sammy comes back I want to ask him if he sold out all them 'Wageof Sin' books. I never sold but one, an' I didn't sell that--I gave itto Katie for a wedding present. "

"You done right when you gave up the book agent business, Jim, " said PapBriggs. "There ought to be a license agin all of 'em. "

CHAPTER VI. The Castaway

Eliph' Hewlitt, when he reached the large, yellow house, found the dooropen. The sale was well over. The gingham aprons and the cat-stitcheddusting cloths were all sold, and only a few crocheted slipper-bagsand similar luxuries remained, and these were being offered at greatlyreduced prices, much to the chagrin of the ladies who had contributedthem. The cashiers were counting the results of the evening's business, and the other ladies were grouped about the minister, who stood inthe middle of the parlor, laughingly explaining the merits of aplush-covered rolling-pin he had purchased in a moment of folly. 

Eliph' Hewlitt tapped on the door to call attention to his presence, and walked into the parlor. Mrs. Doctor Weaver came forward, a shade ofanxiety on her face. 

"Mrs. Doctor Weaver, I suppose, " said Eliph' Hewlitt. "Well, my nameis Hewlitt, Eliph' Hewlitt, and I heard of this sale at the hotel. Thelandlord said strangers were welcome----"

"Of course they are!" exclaimed Mrs. Doctor Weaver. "I'm afraid all thebest things are gone, they went off so quickly to-night; but you're justas welcome, I'm sure, an' mebby you'll find something you'd like, thoughI suppose you're a travelin' man, an' I don't see what you'd do with aknit tidy, or a rickrack pin cushion, unless you've got a sister or awife to send it to. But mebby you ain't a drummer after all?"

"Well, yes, I'm a sort of a drummer, " said Eliph', tapping his parcel. "Book agent, you know. That the minister?"

Mrs. Weaver drew back when Eliph' mentioned his occupation. She did notconsider a book agent any less worthy than another man, but she had beenobliged to miss the last payment on Sir Walter Scott, and she had anill-defined feeling of guilt. To miss a payment was almost as hideousin her eyes as to neglect to put a dime in the contribution plate eachSunday would have been. Her first thought was that Eliph' had come torudely bear away the ten volumes of Sir Walter before the eyes of allthe women of Kilo, and she gladly grasped at his last words. 

"Yes, " she said quickly, "that's him. Let me introduce you. He--he likesbooks. "

"I'm not selling books to-night, " explained Eliph' Hewlitt, for herwords seemed one form of the usual reception of a book agent, and toindicate a desire to be rid of him as quickly as possible; "but I don'tmind meeting him. "

As Mrs. Weaver led the way to the center of the group, Eliph' Hewlittfollowed her, but his eyes quickly made a circle of the room, and resteda moment on Sally Briggs, who was one of the cashiers. 

She saw him and caught her breath, as if the sight had frightened her, but when he nodded she could not refuse to return the salutation. Shenodded as coldly as she knew how, and hurried to the most distant cornerof the room. Eliph' was well enough pleased with this reception, for hewould hardly have know what to do with a warmer one; in many years hehad received only the book agent's usual greeting, which is far fromcordial. She had nodded to him, at any rate, and he felt a glow ofsatisfaction. 

When Mrs. Weaver introduced him to the minister she added that he was abook agent. She may have done this as an explanation, for Kilo, and evenKilo's minister, craved details, or she may have done it to give fairwarning to all concerned. The effect was instantaneous, and the smilesof welcome faded. The minister shook hands gravely, and the ladies whohad run forward with shoe bags and tidies turned and walked coldly away. 

Eliph' Hewlitt smiled. 

"Funny how that name makes a man unpopular, ain't it?" he said, addressing the minister. "But I ain't going to talk books in Kilo. Thelandlord down at the hotel told me it was a bad time, so I'm going topass it by. Well, I guess we deserve all the blame we get. Some of us dopester the life out of people--don't know when to stop. Now, when I seea man don't want my book, or when I see a town ain't ready for it, Idrop books and go off, and leave them alone. I could have stayed downthere at the hotel and bothered the landlord into taking my book. He'dhave too it, because everybody that sees this book, and understands it, does take it; but I said, 'Why bullyrag the life out of the poor manwhen there's a missionary sale going on in town, and he don't want abook, and I do want to see the sale? I am interested in missions. "

"It's a great field, " said the minister, with a sigh of relief; for, as the literary head of Kilo, he was always the first and most stronglycontested goal of the book agents. The subscription list that did notbear his name at the head bore few others, and he appreciated the selfdenial of Eliph' Hewlitt in passing such a good opportunity to talkbusiness. 

"Are you deeply interested in the field?" he inquired graciously. 

"Well, you se, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "I was cast away on one of thosedesert islands myself once, and I know what those poor heathen mustsuffer for lack of churches and civilization, and good books to read. Ican feel for them. "

Someone pushed a chair gently against Eliph's legs, in gentle invitationfor him to be seated, and he took the chair, and laid his package acrosshis knees. Those who had drawn away from him now gathered closer, andall gazed at him with interest. Miss Sally alone remained at the otherend of the room. 

"Well, I never expected to live to see a man that had been shipwrecked, "said Mrs. Weaver, "let alone shipwrecked on a desert island--an' a bookagent at that!"

Eliph' smiled indulgently. 

"I wasn't a book agent in them days, " he said; "it was that made me abook agent. If I hadn't been shipwrecked on that island I wouldn't behere now with this book on my knees. "

Mrs. Weaver's face flushed. 

"I'm sure I ask you to excuse me, " she exclaimed. "I don't know what Iwas thinkin' of not to ask to take your package. Let me put it aside foryou. They ain't no use for you to be bothered with it. "

"Thank you, ma'm, " said Eliph', "but I'll just keep it. No offense, butI never let it go out of my hands, day or night. It saved my life, notonce, but many times, this book did, and I keep it handy. But for thisbook that shipwreck would have been my last day. "

"Land sakes, now!" cried Mrs. Weaver, "won't you tell us about it?"

"Well, as I said, but for this book I'd be bones at the bottom of thesea. Yes, ladies and gents, bones, of which there is one hundred andninety-eight in the full grown human skeleton, composed of four-fifthsinorganic and one-fifth organic matter. "

"How dreadful!" exclaimed Mrs. Weaver, who, being a doctor's wife, hada particular dislike for bones, as for useless things that cluttered upthe house, and were not ornamental. "But how come you to get wrecked?"

"Five years ago, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "I was a confidence man in NewYork. New York is the largest city in the Western Hemisphere; populationestimated over three million; located on the island of Manhattan, atthe mouth of the Hudson River. And, if I do say it myself, I was a goodconfidence man. I was a success; I got rich. And what then? The policegot after me, and I had to run away. Yes, ladies and gents, I had to flyfrom my native land. I took passage on a ship for Ceylon. Ceylon, " headded, "is an island southeast of India; population three millions;principal town, Colombo; English rule; products, tea, coffee, spices, and gems. 

"We had a good trip until we almost got there, and then a big storm comeup, and blew our ship about like it was a peanut shell, tossing it upand down on the mighty waves, and round and back; and the third day webumped on a rock, and the ship began to sink. In the hurry I was leftbehind when the crew and passengers went off in the boats. Think of it, ladies and gents, not even a life preserver to save me, and the shipsinking a foot a minute. "

"Goodness me!" said Mrs. Weaver, "you wasn't drowned, was you?"

"No, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "or I wouldn't be here to tell it. I rushedto the captain's cabin. I thought maybe I would find a life preserverthere. Alas, no! But there, ladies and gents, I found something better. When I didn't find a life preserver I was stunned--yes, clean knockedout. I dropped into a chair and laid my head on the captain's table. I sat there several minutes, the ship sinking one foot per minute, and when I come to my senses, and raised my head, my hand was lying onthis. "

Reverently he raised the volume from his knees and unwrapped it, and theLadies' Foreign Mission Society leaned forward with one accord to catcha glimpse of the title. Eliph' Hewlitt opened the book and flipped overthe pages rapidly with the moistened tip of his third finger. 

"It was this book, ladies and gents, and it was open here, page 742. Without thinking, I read the first thing that hit my eye. 'How to Makea Life Preserver, ' it said. 'Take the corks from a hundred champagnebottles; tie them tightly in a common shirt; then fasten the arms ofthe shirt about the body, with the corks resting on the chest. With thiseasily improvised life preserver drowning is impossible. ' I done it. Thecaptain of that ship was a high liver, and his room was chuck full ofchampagne bottles. I put in two extry corks for good measure, and whenthe ship went down, I floated off on the top of the ocean as easy as aduck takes to a pond. "

"My sakes!" exclaimed Mrs. Weaver, "that captain must have been an awfulhard drinker!"

"He was, " said Eliph' Hewlitt--"fearful. I was really shocked. But, there I was in the water, and not much better off for it, neither, for Icouldn't swim a stroke, and as soon as I got through bobbing up and downlike your cork when you've got a sunfish on your line, I stayed rightstill, just as if I'd been some bait-can a boy had thrown into an eddy, and I figgered like as not I'd stay there forever. Then I noticed I hadthis book in my hand, and I thought, 'While I'm staying here forever, I'll just take another peek at this book, ' and I opened her. Page781, " said Eliph', turning quickly to that page, "was where she opened. 'Swimming; How to Float, Swim, Dive, and Tread Water--Plain and FancySwimming, Shadow Swimming, High Diving, ' et cetery. There she was, allas plain as pie, and when I read it I could swim as easy as an oldhand. The direction al through this book is plain, practical, and easilyfollowed. 

"I at once swum off to the south, for there was no telling how long I'dhave to swim, and as the water was sort of cool, I thought best to gosouth, because the further south you go the warmer the water gets. WhenI swum two days, and was plumb tuckered out, I come to an island. Thewaves was dashing on it fearful, and I knew if I tried to land I'd bedashed to flinders. It knocked all the hope out of me, and I made up mymind to take off my life preserver and dive to the bottom of the sea toknock my brains out on the rocks. But, ladies and gents, before I divedI had another look at my book, hoping to find something to comfort adying man. I turned to page 201. "

Eliph' Hewlitt found the page, and pointed to the heading with hisfinger. 

"'Five Hundred Ennobling Thoughts from the World's Greatest Authors, including the Prose and Poetical Gems of All ages, '" he read. "Therethey were-sixty-two solid pages of them, with vingetty portraits of theauthors. I read No. 285:

"As Thou has made Thy world without, Make Thou more fair my worldwithin, ' et cetery. "

"Whittier, J. G. , commonly called the poet of liberty, born 1807, died1892'--with a complete sketch of his life, a list of his most popularpieces, and a history of his work on behalf of the slave. 

"I was much comforted by this, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "and I run overthe pages this way, thinking of what I had read, when I hit on page927: 'Geography of Land and Sea. ' I skipped ten pages telling inan interesting manner of the five great continents, their politicaldivision, mountains, lakes, and plains, their vegetable inhabitantsand animals, their ancient and modern history, et cetery, and I cometo 'Islands, Common, Volcanic, and Coral'; and on page 940 I read thatcoral islands are often surrounded by a reef on which the waves dash, but that there is usually a quiet lagoon between the reef and theisland, with somewhere an opening from the sea into the lagoon. 

"When I read that, " said Eliph', closing the book, "I shut up my bookand swum round until I come to the opening, which was there, justlike the book said it would be, and I swum across the lagoon, and fellexhausted on the beach. I was played out, and I had swallered too muchwater. I would have died right there, but I thought of my book, andI turned to the index, where every subject known to the vast realm ofknowledge is set down alphabetically, from 'A' to 'Z', twenty thousandreferences in all, dealing with every subject from the time of Adam tothe present day, including, in the new and revised edition just fromthe press, a history of the war with Spain, with pull page portraitsof Dewey, Sampson, Cervera, and the boy king, and colored plates of thebattles of Manila Bay and Santiago. I run my eye down the page till Icame to 'Drowned, How to Revive the, ' page 96; and what I read theresaved my life. "

The ladies sighed with relief. 

"What shall I say about my four long years on that island?" said Eliph'. "I was the only man on it. Oh, the pangs of solitude! Oh, the terrors ofbeing alone! But, ladies and gents, I suffered none of them. I was notalone. He is never alone who has a copy of Jarby's 'Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, ' published byJarby & Goss, New York, and sold for the trifling sum of five dollarsa volume, one dollar down and one dollar a month until paid, the bookdelivered when the first payment is made. And that, my friends, was thebook I had, and the book you see before you. "

The minister put out his hand. 

"May I look at the volume?" he asked, and Eliph' passed it to him with anod. 

"From the first the book was my friend, philosopher, and guide. I hadno matches. Page 416, 'Fire, Its Traditions--How to Make a Fire WithoutMatches--Fire-fighting, Fire-extinguishers, ' et cetery, taught me tomake a fire by rubbing two sticks, as the savages do. I had noweapons to kill the fowls of the air. Page 425, 'Weapons, Ancient andModern--Their History--How to Make and Use Them, ' et cetery, told mehow to twist the cocoanut bark into a cord, and to shape the limb ofthe gum-gum tree into a bow and arrow. Page 396, 'Birds, Tropical, Temperate, and Arctic--Song Birds, Edible Birds, and Birds of Plumage, 'et cetery, with their Latin and common names, and over one thousandillustrations, told me which to kill, and which to eat. Page 100, 'TheComplete Kitchen Guide, ' being eight hundred tested recipes--roasts, fries, pastry, cakes, bread, puddings, entrées, soups, how to makecandy, how to clean brass, copper, silver, tin, et cetery--told me howto prepare and cook them. 

"Yes, my friends, I went to that island an ignorant, unbelieving man, and I came away educated and reformed. For my idle hours there wasthe 'Complete Mathematician, ' showing how to figger the most difficultproblems easily, how to measure corn in the drib, water in the well, figger interest, et cetery, by which I become posted on all kinds ofarithmetic. There was the 'Complete Letter Writer, or a Guide to Politeand Correct Correspondence, ' the 'Dictionary of Legal Terms, orEvery Man His Own Lawyer, ' the 'Modern Penman, ' the 'Eureka ShorthandSystem'--in fact, all the knowledge in the world, condensed into onethousand and four pages, for the small sum of five dollars. Who canafford to be without this book, which will pay for itself twice overevery week of the year?

"I was picked up, ladies and gents, " continued Eliph' Hewlitt, "bya passing ship, and I decided to devote my life to a great work--tocirculating this wonderful book in my native land. I wept when I thoughtof the millions that had not seen it--millions that were living poor, starved lives because they didn't have a copy of Jarby's Encyclopediaof Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, and I gavemyself to the cause. "

The minister handed the book back to Eliph' Hewlitt, and cleared histhroat. 

"It seems to be all you claim for it, " he said; "but I fear the landlordof the Kilo House was right. We are not, many of us, ready for morebooks at present. If you return in a year or eight months----"

Eliph' Hewlitt smiled, and put his hand gently no the glossy black kneeof the minister's best trousers. 

"True, " he said, "true! Kilo has books. Kilo knows the civilizing andChristianizing influence of books. But, " he exclaimed, "think ofthe poor heathen! Think of the poor missionaries fighting to bringcivilization to those dark-hued brothers! Shall it be said that everyhome in Kilo has a set of Sir Walter Scott, ten volumes with gilt edges, while the minds of the heathen dry up and rot for want of the vasttreasures contained in Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendiumof Literature, Science and Art? Here in this book is the wisdom of thewhole world, and will you selfishly withhold it form those who needit so badly? If I know Kilo, I think not. If what is said in Jeffersonregarding the unselfishness and liberality of Kilo is true, I think not. I know what you will say. You will say, 'Here, take this money we havecollected this evening and give to the thirsting heathen as many volumesof Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, as it will buy at five dollars a volume. '"

He glanced around the circle of faces. 

"That is what you will say, " he said; "But Eliph' Hewlitt will beg achance to do his little for the noble work. He will, seeing the goodcause, make the price four seventy-five per volume, and throw in onevolume from for the Kilo Sunday School library, where one and all canhave reference to its helpful and civilizing pages. "

In Eliph' Hewlitt's eyes glowed the fire of conquest that always shonein them when he was "talking book, " a glitter such as shines in the eyesof the enthusiast, and they fell upon Miss Sally Briggs, who had beendrawn by his eloquence to the edge of the ring of ladies. As he paused, she recognized the moment as that when the victim is supposed to utterthe words, "Well, I guess I'll take a copy, " but she missed the directappeal, and its absence confused her, and she was still wonderingwhether it was now time to say she would take a copy, or whether she hadbetter wait for the formal appeal, when Mrs. Doc Weaver spoke for theLadies' Mission Circle. 

When Eliph' Hewlitt left the house, half an hour later with his ordersigned, Miss Sally had disappeared, and, although he peeked eagerly intoboth the side rooms as he passed through the hall, he could see nothingof her. He was disappointed. 

When he returned to the hotel the landlord was asleep in the chairbefore the door. He arose with a yawn, rubbed his eyes, and led theway into the office where a dingy kerosene lamp was burning dimly. Hestretched his arms as he looked at the clock that stood above the dustypigeon holes back of the desk. 

"'Leven o'clock!" he yawned. "I must have been asleep two hours. Guessyou'll want to get right up to bed, won't you? I reckon you found outKilo don't want no books this trip, Sammy; an' if you want to git anearly start from town you'll need all the sleep you can get. "

Eliph' tossed his package on the desk carelessly. 

"Why, yes, Jim, I wish you WOULD call me early, " he said. "I'll be readyfor bed in half an hour or so. I done a little business up yonder, and Iwant to mail my report to New York. But you needn't hitch up my horse inthe morning. "

"No?" asked the landlord sleepily. 

"No, " said Eliph', "and if any feller comes this way selling books inthe next month or so, just tell him there ain't no use for a raw handto waste time in this town. Tell him Eliph' Hewlitt has settled down tolive here. "

CHAPTER VII. The Colonel

When Eliph' Hewlitt stepped out of the hotel the next morning, after hehad eaten his breakfast, and stood, with a wooden toothpick between hislips, looking up and down the street, he felt a sense of exultation. If he had been a victorious general, and Kilo a captured city of greatimportance, he would have had a similar feeling. Already he felt that, if he was not the captor of the town, he was one of its importantcitizens, and practically the husband of an attractive woman whosefather owned sufficient property to be one of those who grumble abouttaxes. 

To a man who had been a wanderer all his life it was pleasant to feelthat he was soon to be kin to all the things he saw on Main Street, brother to the town-pump and cousin to the flag pole, and to considerthat even the well-gnawed hitching rails were to be part of his futureyears. He nodded across the street to Billings, the grocer and generalstore man, as if he was an old acquaintance, and he watched Skinner, thebutcher, sweeping the walk, with a pleasant smile, for he saw in him afuture friend. He loved Kilo, and he was ready to like everything, fromthe post office to the creamery. His whole future seemed destined to besimple and pleasant, for he was resolved to do his best to make the townlike him, and there seemed little opportunity for complications in atown that could all be seen at one glance. 

Strangers think all small towns simple. The few stores are all plainlylabeled, the streets run at right angles, and the houses are set wellapart, like big letters in a primer. A small town looks like a storywithout a plot, like: "See the cat. Does the can see me? The cat seesthe dog;" beside which a city is as unfathomable as a Henry Jamesparagraph. To the stranger each man and woman he meets is a completeindividual, each standing alone, like letters on an alphabet block, andnot easily to be confused, one with the other. But these letters of thesmall town's alphabet are often tangled into as long and complex wordsas those of the greatest city; it takes but twenty-six letters to spellall the passions. The letter A, that looked so distinctly separate, issoon found to be connected with C and T in Cat, and with W and R in War, as well as cross-connected with the C and W in Caw, and with T and R inTar; while the houses that stood so seemingly alone are all connectedand criss-crossed by lines of love and hate, of petty policy and revengeand pride, quite as are nations or people who live in labyrinths, or ina metropolis. 

It was still too early in the morning for Eliph' Hewlitt to call on MissSally, and there was no haste; the day was long. He even doubted whetherit would be good policy to call on her in the morning; he might findher busy with household cares. Probably it would be best to wait for theafternoon, when she would be at leisure. This, he decided would bebest. He would arrive in her presence at two o'clock, and four hours ofconversation would carry them to the point of being well acquainted, asadvised by Jarby's Encyclopedia. The next day he could enter the secondstage of the directions, and call with a book, present it; call afterdinner with a box of candy, present it; call after supper, and proposea walk, visit the ice cream parlor, and on the way home offer his hand, and be accepted. The chapter on "Courtship--How to Win the Affections"advised against haste, and Eliph' did not wish to be hasty. To a manof his spirit two days seemed rather long to devote to so simple amatter--a real waste of time--but he was willing to take longer thannecessary, in order to follow the directions in spirit, as well as inletter. 

Eliph' settled himself into one of the chairs before the hoteland opened his copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia at the chapter on"Courtship--How to Win the Affections. " He was deep in it when thelandlord strolled around from the livery stable and sank into a chair byhis side. 

"So you made up your mind to stay here, Sammy?" he asked. "I guess thetown'll be glad enough to have you. All this town needs to be a bigplace is inhabitants. What you ought to do now it to settle down forgood, an' get married. There's some purty fine women in this town thatain't picked up yet, but they won't last long, they way they're goin'. Somebody gets married every couple of months. "

Eliph' looked up with a smile. Jim Wilkins did not know he had advisedthe very thing he meant to do. 

"I've thought some about it, " said Eliph', "'most everybody's gettingmarried now-a-days. "

"It's the popular thing 'round here, " said Jim. "Look across the street, yonder. See that feller just goin' up to the lawyer's office? He's onethat's in the marry class, just now. That's Colonel Guthrie. He livesout on the first farm beyond Main Street, and he's goin' to marry SallyBriggs, daughter of old Pap Briggs, that we was talkin' to last night, here. "

Eliph' Hewlitt stared at the Colonel, but he said nothing. He blamedhimself; he had wasted his opportunity. This was what came of beingslow! He should have completed his courtship at the picnic, or lastnight at the sale. Jim Wilkins interrupted the thought. 

"Leastways, " he said, "HE'LL get her if Skinner don't. It's a close runbetween him an' Skinner. Skinner ain't so good lookin' as the Colonel, but he's better fixed. It's Skinner owns our butcher-shop, an' it'sSkinner is buildin' our Opery House Block. Some say Skinner'll get PapBriggs' money, an' some says the Colonel will. "

"Are there any others?" asked Eliph', looking down the street to wherethe raw brick of the opera house glowed in the sun. 

"After Sally?" asked Jim Wilkins. "Well, there's sev'ral would like toget her, I dare say. Sally Briggs is a pretty fine sort of woman, an'Pap Briggs has quite considerable money, but the Colonel an' Skinner hasthe inside track. No one else has a chance. "

Eliph' stroked his whiskers softly and coughed gently behind his hand. 

"Briggs, did you say the name was?" he asked. "Seems to me I met a ladyat a picnic up Clarence way that had that name. You said the name wasSally Briggs?"

"That's her, " said Wilkins. "Sally Ann Briggs. She's been visitin' upthere in Clarence. "

Eliph' nodded his head slowly. 

"I seem to recollect her, since you mention it, " he said indifferently, and then he added, "She spoke as if she might buy a copy of Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Artwhen I saw her at that picnic. I guess I'll drop 'round and see if she'sready to buy. If she' goin' to be married she ought to have a copy. "

CHAPTER VIII. The Medium-Sized Box

As Eliph' walked briskly toward Miss Sally's house the Colonelwas having an interesting conversation with Attorney Toole, in theattorney's office over the Kilo Savings Bank. 

Attorney Toole had been a lawyer at Franklin, and he had come down toKilo because he preferred a being a big toad in a small puddle, ratherthan a little toad in a middle-sized one. This was one of his reasons, but another was that he had complete and full faith in Richard Toole, and intended to be a political power in the land. He could not be muchof anything in Franklin, for that town was hard and fast Democratic, andToole was a Republican. The first step to political preferment is to beelected to something or other, it does not make much difference what, and to rise from that to greater things, but a Republican had nochance in Franklin; couldn't even get an appointment as dog police orwharfmaster; couldn't get elected to any office at all. 

So Toole packed up his law books and moved to Kilo, where he was in aRepublican town, a Republican county, and a Republican congressionaldistrict, in a Republican State that formed part of a Republican nation. He selected Kilo, after considering other good little Republican towns, because the Republicans of Kilo needed aid and assistance; they were outof office; kicked out. 

Every so often the small town of the West turns the regular party outof office and puts in a Citizens' ticket, just to show that the peoplestill rule, and to let the greedy officeholders, some of whom get asmuch as one hundred dollars a year in salary, know that their officesare not life positions. When Attorney Toole descended on Kilo, theCitizens' Party was "in, " and the Republicans were "out, " and theattorney saw an opportunity of making himself valuable to his party byworking to put the party "in" again. 

Never before had the Colonel climbed his stairs, and Toole smiled likean Irish sphinx when the Colonel entered his office. He smiled most ofthe time, not because he thought a smile becoming to his freckledface, but because he found things so eternally amusing. In law a man isconsidered innocent until he has been proved guilty; in Kilo AttorneyToole considered everything amusing until it had been proved serious, and he considered the Colonel and Skinner, and the whole Citizens' Partythey had been instrumental I organizing, as parts of the same joke. Theywould stand until he was ready to lazily push out his hand and topplethem over. It was almost time to topple them, now, and he was glad tosee the Colonel; he motioned him to a seat, and smiled. 

The Colonel took his hat from his mat of coarse iron-gray hair, and laidit carefully on the floor. Out of his small sharp eyes ignorance andcunning peered, and the mass of beard that hid the greater part of hisface could not hide the hard line of his mouth. 

"I jest dropped up, " he explained, after he had acknowledged theattorney's cheerful greeting with a gruff "mornin', " "I jest dropped up, sort of friendly-like, thinkin' you might have nothin' to do, an' mightlike to sit an' chin a while. You don't charge nothin' for sittin' an'chinnin' do ye?"

Toole said he did not. 

"I didn't figger you did, " said the Colonel. "If I'd thought you did Iwouldn't have dropped up, for I ain't got no money to spend on lawyers. I'd sooner throw money away than spend it at law. But I figgered you wasyoung at the law yet, and didn't have much to do at it, and I sort ofrun across a case I thought might amuse you, like, when you ain't gotnothin' to do. Folks don't seem to have much faith in young lawyers, andyou can't blame 'em; old ones don't know much. All any of 'em care foris to get people into trouble so they can charge 'em fees to get 'em outof it. So I thought mebby you'd like to hear of this case so you couldkind of mull it over in your mind whilst you're loafin' up here. "

"That was kind of you, " said Toole. 

"I always like to do a good turn when I can, " said the Colonel, "whenit don't cost nothin'. An' this case I was tellin' you about is a mightygood one for a young lawyer to study over. Soon as I heard of it I saysto myself 'I'll tell this case to Attorney Toole, an' he'll be gratefulto hear of it. '"

The country client usually begins in some such way as this, anxious toget all the advice he can without having to pay for it, and Toole merelysmiled. 

"Mebby you know, " said the Colonel, "that there was a feller took boardof Sally Briggs a while back; feller by the name of William Rossiter, that come through here peddlin' lightnin' rods and pain killer and landknows what all. Well, he was a rascal. He took board off of Sally Briggsfour weeks, and then he cleared out, and she nor no one else has seenhide nor hair of him since, and he never paid her one cent. All heever let on was to leave this letter stickin' on the pin cushion in hisbedroom. "

The Colonel dug the letter out of his vest pocket, and Toole read it. Itwas short:

Dear Miss Briggs: I'm off. Good-by. Business in Kilo is no good. Sorry Ican't square up, but I leave you the box in my room in part payment. W. R. 

"Prosecution's exhibit No. 1, " said the attorney. 

"Jest what I was tellin' Miss Sally, " said the Colonel. "I says to herto keep that paper, and it might come handy. Mebby you heard that me andMiss Sally was what you might call keepin' company?"

"That's interesting, " said Toole. "Been keeping it long?"

"Quite some consid'able time, " said the Colonel. "Long enough, landknows, and we'd a-been done with it by this time and married, if thatSkinner hadn't come crowdin' in where he wasn't wanted. What right hasa man like him to come pushin' in like that? His wife ain't been deadtwelve months yet. It ain't decent of him, is it?"

"Do you want a legal opinion?" asked Toole, reaching for a large lawbook that lay on the table. 

"No, I don't!" cried the Colonel in alarm; "I don't want to run up nocharges. I don't care whether it's legal or not, it ain't friendly, after him and me has worked together buildin' up this Citizens' Party, and all. What does he mean, sendin' Miss Sally porterhouses, when sheonly orders flank steak, like he was wrappin' up love and affection intoevery steak? He's got mighty proud since he set out to build that thereKilo Opery House of his. He's a fool to spend money on an opery house inthis town. He's a beefy, puffy old money bag, he is. He needn't tell MEhe expects to get even on what he spent on that Opery House Block outof what he'll make on it; he just built it to make a show, so some dumbidiot like Sally Briggs would think he amounted to more than others, andmarry him. "

The Colonel brought down his hand with a bang on the attorney's table. 

"What kind of an idiot did you call Miss Briggs?" asked Toolepleasantly. 

"I didn't call her no kind!" declared the Colonel. "All I say is, I'vebeen married once already, and I know how women are. And I know Skinner. He's lookin' for to pay for that opery house with Pap Brigg's money thathe'll git if he marries Sally. But he won't git it! I'm a-goin' to----"He was going to say he was going to get it, but he caught himself intime, and substituted "I'm a-goin' to see to that. "

"I see, " said Toole, "and you want to retain me as your attorney in caseyou have to sue for breach of promise?"

The Colonel scowled. 

"I don't want to retain, and I don't want to sue, and I don't want nofees to pay. You get that clear in your mind. If I did, I'd go to alawyer that had some experience. I jest dropped up----"

"Well, any time you wish, you can just drop down again, Colonel, " saidToole, but not ill-naturedly. 

"Now, don't git that way, " said the Colonel. "I jest dropped up to doyou a favor, and you git mad about it! I don't call that friendly. Ifyou was to do me a favor I wouldn't git mad. "

"Go ahead with the favor, then, " said Toole, leaning back in his chairand putting his feet on his table. 

"Miss Sally, " said the Colonel, "she told me all about this fellerRossiter, an' what he said, an' what she said, an' how he come to go toher house for board, an' how he skipped off, an' she showed me thenote he left on the pin cushion, an' then she come down to business. 'Colonel, ' she says, 'have I a right to take an' keep that box? Have Ia right to open it? Is it mine by law? If I open it can he come back an'sue me, or anything?'

"'Can he?' says I. 'That's the question. Can he?'

"'It's a large box, ' says Miss Sally. 

"'A large box, hey?' says I. 'Of course if it was a small box, MissSally--but it is a large box! How large?'

"'Quite large, ' she says. 'About medium large. Not too large. Besidesanything very large it would be small, but beside anything very small itwould be large. '

"I nodded my head to her, to let her see I knew what she was tryin' tosay. 'Medium large, ' I says, 'yes, I know just about how big you mean, but what I'd like to know is, is it heavy?'

"'Medium, ' she says, 'just medium heavy. '

"Well, there she was! A medium heavy, medium-sized box. If it had beena little bit of a light-weight box I'd 'a' told her to open it and keepit, for there couldn't have been much in it; and if it had been a bigheavy box I'd have told her she'd better leave it alone; for therewouldn't be any tellin' whether she had any right to open a box likethat one might have turned out to be. I didn't know how the law stood onthat kind of a box. But it was medium-sized, and I didn't know WHAT tosay. 

"'Miss Sally, ' I says, 'I'd like to help you out on this. Any time I cangive you any advice on anything, I'm glad to, but I don't know what tosay about a box that is medium size and medium heavy. You'd ought to getthe law on that subject before you touch that box. Don't you touch thatbox. Don't you open it unless there's a law officer standin' by to seeyou do it. '

"She seen that was good advice, " continued the Colonel, "and I sat thereright in her parlor and thought it over. 'Miss Sally, ' I says, after Ihad thought all I could about it, 'I believe Attorney Toole would tellyou what to do about that box. There ain't nothin' a lawyer needs morethan to be popular, and there ain't no way to git popular quicker thanby doin' little favors, an' he ought to be glad to do a favor for you, for you're almost an orphan. Your ma's dead, an' Pap Briggs ain't overlystrong, an' you're liable to be an orphan almost any minute. I can tellby the looks of Attorney Toole, ' I says, 'that he's got a good heart, and if you say the word I'll ask him what he says to do about that box. 'She seemed sort of put out at what I'd said about orphans, but I seenshe was willing to have me ask you about that box, and I seen it wouldbe doin' you a favor, too, to tell you about it, so you could sort ofexercise your mind on it, so I jest dropped up----"

"Colonel, " said Toole, "this is a very serious case. " He put his handover his mouth to hide the smile he could not prevent from coming to hislips. 

"You don't mean to tell me!" exclaimed the Colonel. "I was afraid theremight be somethin' wrong about it somewheres. But I ain't goin' to go tono expense about it. It ain't my box----"

"I would not take a case like this for money, " said the attorney, turning suddenly and facing the Colonel with a seriousness thatfrightened that cautious soul. "I would not take a case involving amedium-sized, medium-heavy box; a box left for board by a man from partsunknown, now departed to parts unknown; a box that may contain stolenproperty; I would not take such a case for money, Colonel. But I'llundertake it for friendship. For friendship only. You ARE my friend, aren't you, Colonel?"

"Surely! Surely!" exclaimed the Colonel eagerly. 

"A medium-sized box, " said Toole, turning his head to hide his smile, "should be opened only in the presence of an attorney-at-law. That islegal advice and worth five dollars, but I charge you nothing for it, you being my friend. Consider it a gift from me to you. "

"I'm much obliged, " said the Colonel gruffly. 

"And now, " said the attorney briskly, "for the MODUS OPERANDI, as welawyers say. Has the client, the lady in the case, a hatchet?"

The Colonel thought. 

"I ain't right sure, " he said at length, after he had searched hisbrain; "seems like she ought to have, but I've got one, an' I'll loan itto her. "

"Good!" exclaimed Toole briskly. "That is better yet. A medium-sized boxleft by a transient in payment of default of a board bill shouldalways be opened, if possible, with a hatchet not the property of theplaintiff. Chitty says that. It was so ruled in the case of MUGGINS vs. MUGGINS. "

He took from his desk a bulky volume, and ran over the pages rapidly. 

"Box, " he said, "small box-medium box. Here it is. Humph!"

The Colonel leaned over the book, but the attorney closed it quickly. 

"Bring an ax, " he said. "A hatchet would do, but an ax is more legal. Hatchets for small boxes, axes for medium boxes. There is a later casethan MUGGINS vs. MUGGINS. "

"I'll fetch the ax, " agreed the Colonel. 

"Can you be at the house in half an hour?" asked the attorney. 

The Colonel could. 

"You're right sure there ain't goin' to be no charges to this?" he askedanxiously, and when the attorney had once more assured him there wouldbe none, he picked his hat from the floor and shuffled into the hall anddown the stairs. 

CHAPTER IX. The Witness

When Eliph' Hewlitt reached the Briggs house, he did not hesitate, butwalked right up to the front door and rang the bell. A minute later hesaw the red silk that obstructed the pane of beveled glass in the upperpart of the door drawn ever so slightly to one side and then quicklyreplaced. He caught the glisten of an eye, as the red silk was heldaside, but the door did not open. Miss Sally, after the brief glance, tiptoed back through the hall. She did not want to meet the book agent. 

Eliph' waited a respectable minute and then rang the bell again, although he had little belief that this would bring Miss Sally to thedoor. It is good form to ring the bell of the front door several times, before going to the back door, for it may be that the lady of the houseis dressing, or is hastily taking the folded paper "curlers" out ofher front hair, or slipping on her "other skirt" before admitting thevisitor. Few indeed are the front doors in Iowa that open promptly to aknock or a ring. Primping time must be allowed, ad if this, followedby a second ring or knock, does not open the door, nothing but businesspermits the visitor to go to the back door. Having waited, Eliph' wentto the back door. It closed almost as he reached it, and it would notopen to his most vigorous knocking. 

To know a person is in a house, and not to be able to reach that person, is annoying, and Eliph' had often had this happen to him. The usualcourse was to go away and return again; returning a third or fourthtime, or until the door at last opened; but Eliph' was not merely tryingto sell a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium ofLiterature, Science and Art this time. He had no time to waste in theusual manner. If he could not get into one house to sell a book, hecould enter another house and sell a book, but when a man is after acertain heart he does not care to go to another house and take anotherheart. Some men do it, but they are usually sorry afterwards. Eliph'walked to the front of the house again, and looked at the front door. 

He felt there should be some way to get into the house and have fiveminutes' conversation with Miss Sally. If this Colonel and this Skinnerhad already had months or years of opportunity for pressing their suits, there was not time to be lost, and the sooner he began the sooner hewould win. But none of his ordinary methods of entering unwilling houseswould serve his purpose this time. It would not do to begin by makingMiss Sally unfriendly. So Eliph' tucked his book more snugly under hisleft arm and looked at the house. He walked to the gate and looked up atthe roof; walked across the street and viewed the house in perspective;but nothing useful came of it, so he crossed the street again and triedringing the doorbell once more. He rang it sharply and waited. Then heknocked and waited. He was willing to wait until the door opened, andhe leaned against the porch railing and waited, ringing the doorbellinsinuatingly, or commandingly, or coaxingly, from time to time. 

Meanwhile, the attorney waited until the half hour he had assigned wasup, and then walked toward Miss Briggs' house with briskly business-likesteps. 

"Now, some folks, " he said to himself, as he walked, "wouldn't get anyfun at all out of a case like this, but I do. That's the way to keepyoung. It's why I don't grow stale in this town. It is a small puddlefor a toad of my size, but I hop around and keep things stirred up. "

As he neared the house, he saw the Colonel approaching from the oppositedirection, and he waved his hand to him, and the Colonel hurried to meethim. They turned into the yard together, and saw Eliph' Hewlitt restingeasily against the porch railing. 

"Nobody's at home?" asked the attorney. 

"Yes, " said Eliph'. "Somebody's home, but they don't answer the bell. 

"Book agent?" said the attorney. "Well, you can't blame them, much. Gemsof literature aren't always wanted. "

The Colonel scowled. He felt a personal interest in Pap Briggs' money, and he resented any attempt to part the old man from any of it. Hesuffered almost as deeply at tax time as Pap himself did, and heconsidered the money Sally had to pay in installments on Sir WalterScott as practically thrown away, and that she might as well have takenit out of his own pocket. He knocked on the lower step of the porch, with the side of his ax, angrily. 

"You git out of this here yard!" he ordered. "I don't want no bookagents a-hangin' around here, an' I won't have it. You clean out ofhere!"

Eliph' coughed lightly behind his hand, but the words of reproof that heintended to launch softly at the Colonel were never spoken. 

"Well, this IS lucky!" cried the attorney, holding out his hand toEliph'. "Colonel, this is the best luck we could have had. Here we needa witness, and here we have him right on the spot! I was going to stopand get Skinner on the way down, and then I thought maybe, from what yousaid, you and Skinner were not very friendly, so I didn't, and now I'mglad I didn't. We find a witness right here on the porch, just as if hehad been ordered to be here. I call that a good omen. "

The Colonel was not pleased, and he showed it, but he really had nothingthat he could urge against this book agent, so he said nothing. Theattorney rang the bell, and Miss Sally, having peeped out to see themeaning of so many men on her porch, recognized the Colonel and theattorney, and opened the door. The attorney stood back to let Eliph'enter, and then followed him in. The three men stood in the littlehallway, hats in hand, while Toole explained why they had come, and MissSally led the way to the second-floor room where the box stood. 

It was an impressive scene as the four gathered around the box. 

"Knock off the lid!" said the attorney firmly. The Colonel raised his axand struck. The board splintered but remained firm. "Legally, " said theattorney, "you may strike three blows. "

At the third blow a portion of the lid fell clattering to the floor, andthe three men and Miss Sally peered anxiously into the box. From it theColonel tenderly lifted a nickel-plated cylinder, as tall as a man'sknee and as large around as a leg of mutton. It had a convex top, and onone side a dial. From near the base a long rubber tube extended. 

The Colonel handled the thing gently. He held it in his hands as anold bachelor might handle his newborn nephew, and Miss Sally lookedanxiously into his face, appealing for enlightenment. The Colonelstudied the thing carefully, and then looked into the box again, andback at the glittering object in his hands. There were three moreexactly like it in the box. 

"What is it?" asked Miss Sally nervously. It looked explosive. 

The gingerly manner in which the Colonel handled the dangerous-lookingthing aroused her suspicions. She backed away from it. Eliph' Hewlittopened his lips to speak, but the attorney motioned him to be still. 

"Don't you know what it is?" Miss Sally asked, appealing to the Colonel. 

"Yes, " said the Colonel, but he still looked at the glistening affairwith doubt. "Oh, yes! But I can't see what that there young feller wasdoin' with four of 'em. I can't see what he was doin' with 'em anyhow. Mebby, " he said, "he was agent for 'em. "

"He was agent for 'most everything I ever heard tell of a man bein'agent for, " said Miss Sally, "but I wish you'd tell me what they are. "

"Well, ma'm, " said the Colonel, "this is fire-extinguishers; patentchemical fire-extinguishers. I know because I recall seein' some oncewhen I was down to Jefferson. They had 'em in a theater there. They putout fires with 'em. "

"Well!" exclaimed Miss Sally. "How do you ever suppose anybody would putout a fire with a thing like that?"

The Colonel turned the affair over and over. 

"I didn't study that up, " he admitted, "but I guess if I take time Ican find out how the thing works. They squirt out of this here tubesomehow. "

He turned up the end of the tube and squinted into it. Again Eliph'Hewlitt was about to speak, but the attorney caught his eye and winked, and the little book agent held his tongue. 

"Well, land's sakes!" exclaimed Miss Sally, "What am I goin' to do withfour fire-extinguishers, I'd like to know?" She asked the question asif the Colonel had got her into this thing of the ownership of thefire-extinguishers, and she looked to him to take the responsibility. Hewas quite willing to accept it. 

"I've got to think that over, " he said. "A feller can't decide right offhand what to do with four fire-extinguishers. It looks to me as if theywas worth a lot more than the young feller owed you, Miss Sally. Theyain't no doubt about Miss Sally havin' a right to 'em, is there, MisterToole?"

"Not a bit of doubt!" exclaimed Toole cheerfully. "She has every rightin the world. You've got a witness that they came out of that box, andshe can sell, give, donate, assign, or bequeath them, for better or forworse. "

"Then that's all right, " said the Colonel, "an' I guess that's all weneed you for. "

"Except to settle the witness fees with this gentleman, " said Toole, turning to Eliph', who was still eager to say a word or two. "But mebby, if I have a word or two with him, I can fix it up without making anyexpense for you. "

He drew Eliph' to one side. 

"What's the cost of that book you're selling?" he asked. "Well, I'lltake one. I don't take one for a bribe, but because I can see you're notthe sort of man that would sell a book that wasn't worth the money. Iwant that book. And just you keep still about those fire-extinguishers. Between you and me, those are first-class nickel-plated lung-testers, and not fire-extinguishers. But that doesn't matter. There's justabout as heavy a call for fire-extinguishers in Kilo as there is forlung-testers. Can you keep still about it?"

"I can, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "and you'll never regret having bought acopy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art. It is a book that should be in every man's hand, andin every home. If you owned a copy now, you would know is value to man, woman, or child. I was going to try to sell one to Miss Briggs when youcame, and if you could help me to----"

The attorney smiled. This was the sort of game he enjoyed. "Don't tellabout the lung-testers, " he whispered, and turned to Miss Sally. "MissBriggs, " he said, "will you let this gentleman have a few minutes ofyour time? I want him to show you a book he has. It is a book thatshould be in every home. If you will give him a few minutes. "

He did not wait for Miss Sally to answer, but turned to the scowlingColonel. 

"Colonel, " he said, "I want you to walk down to the office with me. Ishouldn't wonder if you could sell those fire-extinguishers right herein Kilo. "

The four descended the stairs together, and the Colonel would willinglyhave lingered, but the attorney took him by the arm and jovially steeredhim out of the door. Miss Sally, too, would gladly have had the Colonelremain, to protect her from the book agent, and to say "no" when theappeal to buy was reached, but Eliph' retreated into the darkness ofthe parlor, and took a seat in the corner of the room, and Miss Sally, unable now to escape him, seated herself as far from him as she could. 

CHAPTER X. The Boss Grafter

Eliph' Hewlitt was resolved that into this interview no words regardingJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art should enter. With two such favored rivals in the field, andwith such difficulty in getting into the house as he had experienced, hemeant to get well acquainted in a hurry. Miss Sally sat stiffly in herchair, steeling herself to refuse the request to buy a copy of the book. Her usually attractive face was stern, as she looked at Eliph' Hewlitt, and she watched him suspiciously as he slowly combed his whiskers withhis fingers, as if she feared this was some part of the operation bywhich he was charming her into a hypnotic state in which she would signfor a book without knowing why. She nerved herself to ward off whateverinsinuating words he should first say, and Eliph', as he studied herface, sought words that would advance him at one bound deep into thestate of being well acquainted. It was a trying moment for both. 

Then, so suddenly that Miss Sally almost jumped from her chair, Eliph'coughed behind his hand, and spoke. 

"It seems like it would be as hot to-day as it was yesterday, if itdon't shower before night, " he said, and smiled pleasantly as he saidit. 

Miss Sally was taken off her guard, and before she was aware she hadanswered, quite as politely as she would have answered the ministerhimself. 

"It's awful hot, " she said. "I guess Kilo's the hottest place on earthin summer. "

"Not the hottest, " answered Eliph', leaning forward eagerly. "Youwouldn't say that if you had a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledgeand Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, and studied it up the wayI do. Page 442 gives all the hottest places on earth, with the recordhighest temperature of each, together with all the coldest places, wherethere is the greatest rainfall, and a chronological table of all thegreat famines, floods, storms, hot and cold spells the earth has everknown, from the time of Adam to the present day, with pictures of theJohnstown flood, and diagrams of Noah's Ark. This, with the chapteron the Physical Geography of Land and Sea, telling of tides, typhoons, trade winds, tornadoes, et cetery, explains why and how weather happens. All this and ten thousand other subjects, all indexed from A to Z in onebook----"

He paused suddenly, appalled to think that he was already far from hisresolve not to mention Jarby's Encyclopedia, and, as his voice stillhung on the last word he had spoken, the doorbell rang, and Miss Sallyjumped up, happy for any interruption. She merely turned her head tosay:

"I guess I don't want one to-day, " and then Eliph' heard her open thedoor, and greet the newcomers as she welcomed them into the hall. Theywere Mrs. Tarbro-Smith and Susan, and, as Miss Sally hurried them up thestairs to remove their dusty hats, she leaned back and called to Eliph':

"You can get right out the door, " she said, "it ain't shut. I guess Iwon't have no more time to spend listenin' to you to-day. "

For half an hour Eliph' waited, listening to the chatter of voices, andthen he quietly stole from the house and stepped gently out of the yard. There was no sense in waiting longer, and he knew it. 

Mrs. Tarbro-Smith, receiving a letter from the editor of MURRAY'SMAGAZINE, had learned at length that Clarence was not typical Iowa, andshe had transferred her field of study to Kilo on his recommendation. She meant to spend the rest of the season there, and hoped Miss Sallywould take her to board. She found that Miss Sally would be glad, indeed, to have her company, and Mrs. Smith did not think it necessaryto mention that she was looking for local color and types. She waspleased when she heard that Eliph' Hewlitt, who had so interested her, was "working" Kilo. 

As Eliph' Hewlitt walked toward the hotel he felt that anotheropportunity had been lost--thrown away--by his inability to avoidJarby's Encyclopedia as a topic, and for one moment he came as neargiving up Miss Sally as he ever came to giving up anything. In thatmoment he saw the simplicity of his courtship, as he had imaginedit would be, resolve itself into a tangled affair, as all these newindividualities entered into it. Instead of being a mere matter betweenhimself and Miss Sally, it was involving men and women, one after theother. It seemed to become a fight between himself, a singer stranger inKilo, and an endless chain of interested citizens. Already there was PapBriggs, who hated book agents; the Colonel and Skinner, who hoped towin Miss Sally; Mrs. Smith, who would serve as a defense against Eliph'sattacks; and, as he walked down the street, he seemed to see in everyman, woman, and child, a possible ally of either the Colonel or Skinner. But he tucked his sample copy of Jarby's under his arm more securely, and braced up his courage. He even whistled as he approached the hotel, but, when he glanced up at the attorney's office and saw Toole and theColonel with their head together, he stopped whistling. If Toole wasgoing to take either side, Eliph' would have liked to claim him. Toolewas a smart man. 

Toole and the Colonel left Miss Sally's with the attorney well pleased, and his enigmatic smile rested on his face as he led the Colonel tohis office. He handed him a chair, and made him take a cigar, and thenturned and faced him. 

"Now, " he said, "what are you going to do with thosewhat-do-you-call-'ems?"

"Them fire-extinguishers?" said the Colonel, licking the cigar aroundand around before lighting it. "Well, I ain't had much time to thinkthat over yet. A feller can't decide on a thing like that all at once. It ain't likely no one in Kilo would buy a fire-extinguisher like them, all nickel-plated, if they had their senses about 'em. 'Twouldn't benatural. I might raffle 'em off, only nobody'd be likely to buy chanceson a fire-extinguisher. I might take 'em down to Jefferson, but Idon't see as that would do much good, nobody'd be likely to buyfire-extinguishers off of me down there. "

"No, " said the attorney, turning to his table and looking over somepapers, with an appearance of interest, "No, I guess not. I don't seethat you can do much of anything with them, unless you use them forornaments. It seems a pity that Miss Briggs didn't go to Skinner foradvice about that box, instead of you, doesn't it?"

The Colonel stopped with a lighted match half way to his cigar. 

"What do you mean?" he asked, red in the face. "Do you mean that puffyold beef-cutter's got more sense than what I have, young man?"

"Oh, no, " said the attorney, carelessly. "Not at all. I wasjust thinking that if Skinner HAD opened that box, and HAD foundfire-extinguishers in it, it would have been a fine chance for him tosay to Miss Briggs, 'Madam, I am building in this town an opera house, known as Skinner's Opera House. The safety of the people of Kilo demandsfire-extinguishers in Skinner's Opera House. I will take those fournickel-plated appliances and install them in my opera house, andallow you ten dollars apiece for them, cash or meat. ' But, of course, "continued the attorney innocently, "you can't do that; you haven't builtan opera house. "

The Colonel's little eyes peered at the attorney, and they were filledwith cunning. Across his hard mouth a smile crept and broadened until hehad to lay his hand across it, it was so indecently wide and exultant. 

"Skinner is no fool, " continued the attorney. "As soon as he hears thatMiss Briggs has those four things he will probably rush right up to herhouse and offer to buy them. It would be a great feather in his cap withher, if he could get the credit of having thought of it. I shouldn'twonder if he had heard of what was in that box by this time. It seems apity, doesn't it, that he should get all the credit after you have doneall the work?"

The Colonel looked at the noncommittal face of the attorney, and smiledagain. This was a sort of cunning he could appreciate, and he leanedover and gave Toole a sly poke in the ribs, to show him that heunderstood. Toole looked at him with a blank face, and at this theColonel slapped his knee, and uttered a mirthful noise that was like thesound of a man choking. He clapped his greasy hat on his mat of hair andwent out, pausing at the door to look back and grin at the attorney oncemore. 

Mr. Skinner was trimming a roast. He had just cut off a piece of suet, which he held in his plump read hand as he listened to the Colonel'sproposition to sell him four nickel-plated fire-extinguishers at tendollars each. Perhaps the Colonel spoke to impetuously; to commandingly. Skinner held the lump of suet offensively near the Colonel's nose as heanswered. 

"Fire-extinguishers!" he laughed. "Me buy fire-extinguishers? I wouldn'tgive THAT for them. "

He shook the suet before the Colonel's eyes. 

"No, sir!" he sneered. "I wouldn't give THAT for them. And I throw thataway!"

"Skinner, " said the Colonel, growing dangerously red in the face, "don'tyou shake no meat in MY face like that! Don't you dare do it! I won'thave no butcher shake meat in MY face. You low-down beef-killer. That'sall you are, a beef-killer. "

"Mebby, " admitted the butcher indifferently. "Mebby I am, but I don'tbuy no fire-extinguishers. And I don't take much stock in agents forthem, neither. No. Nor in gold bricks. Nor green good. No. "

The Colonel raised his fist and brought it down on the butcher's counterso hard that the meat scales danced, and the indicator jerked nervouslyacross the face of the dial, weighing a half pound of anger. The butcherleaned back against the shopping block, and gently caressed the handleof his cleaver. He pointed to the door with his other hand. 

"Git out!" he said, and the Colonel scowled but went. 

On his way home the Colonel bethought himself of a good excuse to stopat Miss Sally's. He had left his ax there, and he went to the backdoor, this not being a formal call. Miss Sally came to the door when heknocked, and brought him the ax, and he took the opportunity to say abad word for Skinner, and he was astounded to find that she sympathizedwith Skinner on his refusal to buy the fire-extinguishers. 

"I don't wonder at it, " she said, "seeing he has put so much money onthat opery house already. He's done a lot for this town that nobody elsewould ever have thought of doin'. Mr Skinner's a very public-spiritedcitizen, and to think he made it all out of sellin' meat! It must be agood business. I guess you'll have to excuse me now, Colonel Guthrie, I've got visitors down from Clarence. "

The Colonel's steps dragged as he walked home. Never had Miss Sallysaid so many good words for his rival. She had almost rebuffed his goodoffices in the attempt to sell the fire-extinguishers, and had praisedSkinner to his face. 

Early the next morning he "dropped up" into the office of AttorneyToole, and as that young man lay back in his chair, with his feet onhis desk, he told him the whole story. The attorney smiled. This was thekind of split in the ranks of the Citizens' Party that he had hoped topromote. 

"After that, Colonel, " he said, when the Colonel had told him thatSkinner had ordered him out of the shop, "you ought to MAKE him buythem. "

"I wisht I could, dog take him!" cried the Colonel. "I'd like to makehim eat 'em. "

"Colonel, " said Toole, "I see you are, as always, guided by a spirit ofconservative kindness. You hesitate to force that butcher to do what hedoes not want to do. The feeling does you honor, but is it business? Youhesitate even when you see how easily your could force him to do what heis in duty bound to do to protect the lives of our trustful citizens. I admire your gentleness, but I deplore your unbusinesslike moderation. You lack public spirit. "

The Colonel grinned savagely. He felt that the attorney was teasing him, but he could not quite tell how. 

"You, " said Toole easily, "knowing that our town council can, andshould, pass an ordinance compelling all owners of opera houses toinstall nickel-plated fire-extinguishers--to install four of them ineach opera house in Kilo--for the protection of our people, hesitate toask them to pass such an ordinance. You hesitate because you do not wishto appear malevolent toward a rival. Now, don't you?"

"Me be kind to that fat, pig-stealing, sausage-grinding----" snorted theColonel, but the attorney stopped him with a lifted hand. 

"Just what I said, " exclaimed the attorney. "You are too kind; tooconsiderate; too regardful of his feelings. But would he be so kind andconsiderate and regardful of your feelings, if he was in your place?"

He lowered his feet and his voice, and placed his hand on the Colonel'sknee. 

"No!" he whispered hoarsely. "No!" he cried loudly and defiantly. "No!He would not! He would use the influence you have with the citycouncil and the mayor to have an ordinance passed making YOU putfire-extinguishers in YOUR opera house, and compel YOU to buy them ofHIM. But you will not use your huge influence with Mayor Stitz and thecity council. You hesitate. "

Toole shook his head sadly; he almost wept out the last word, he seemedso heartbroken to see the Colonel hesitate. 

"Why hesitate?" he asked. "If I were not a stranger in town, as I maysay, I should beg you not to hesitate. I should beg you to act. I shouldbeg you to think of the lives of poor, helpless women and children. Ishould beg you, for humanity's sake, to go to the honorable mayor andcity council, and appeal to them to pass an ordinance compelling thisSkinner to buy nickel-plated fire-extinguishers. To compel him, Colonel!But I have nothing to say. "

He shuffled the legal-looking papers that littered his desk. TheColonel's eyes had narrowed to fine points of hate-instilled cunning asthe attorney proceeded. 

"What have we come to, " asked the attorney sadly, "when the leadingcitizens of a town like Kilo neglect their duty? Are there no truecitizens left to show the mayor and city council their plain duty?"

When the Colonel had the thing put to him in this light he did nothesitate. He knew Stitz, the mayor, and he knew that Stitz had fullcontrol of the city council. What Stitz told it to do the city councildid, and the Colonel believed he had a right to dictate what Stitzshould tell it, for he had suggested the name of Stitz as candidate formayor, and, with Skinner, had helped elect him. He went at once to themayor, and laid the case before him. 

Mayor Johann Stitz was an honest, upright shoemaker, and owned his ownbuilding. It had once been a street car in Franklin, and when the horsecars were superseded by electric cars, Stitz had bought this car atauction, and had paid ten dollars to have it hauled to Kilo. It had notbeen a very good car when it left the shops before it made its firsttrip, and the ten years of running off the track and being boosted onagain had not improved it much. It was in pretty bad shape when Stitzpicked it up for eighteen dollars, and it had deteriorated greatly sinceit had been doing duty as a cobbler's shop, but Stitz liked it. The tinycar stove that stood midway of one of the seats was all he needed incold weather, and the seats along the sides were a continuous spread ofcobblers' seats. He could cobble all the way up one side of the car andall the way back the other, and when he had customers waiting he alwayshad a seat to give them. He and the whole city council could hold acaucus in the car, and all have seats, and in the evenings he could takea stool out on his front or back porch and smoke a pipe in peace. Hiscar stood side by side with the round topped wagon of the travelingphotographer, who had not traveled since his felloes gave out on thatvery lot six years before. 

The city officers of the Citizens' Party, being of an independentpart, were so independent that they were worried and chafed by theirindependence. No one but a man in office knows the real blessedness ofhaving the set beliefs and an traditions of a regular party to fallback upon. The independence of the independents made their work moredifficult; it compelled them to decide things for themselves, and theneverybody complained of what they did. No independent is ever satisfiedwith what another independent does, and they lost even the satisfactionof knowing that they were pleasing their own part, which a properlyservice Democrat or Republican is rather apt to be sure of. In thisstate of things the six councilmen had thrown their burdens of decisionto Stitz. They cast the whole burden on him, saying, "Ask Stitz. He'smayor. What he says, we'll do. " And Stitz never would say. 

As the Colonel entered the mayor's shoe shop Stitz was reading amagazine, which he laid beside him on the car seat while he listenedto the Colonel. A pile of similar magazines lay beside him on the seat. They were the missionary offerings of Doc Weaver, who was interestedin whatever was latest in religion, government or popular science. Theywere magazines telling of the municipal corruption of "New York, TheVile, " "Philadelphia, Defiled but Happy, " "Chicago, the Base, " and "St. Louis, the Decayed. " Doc Weaver had given them to Mayor Stitz to showhim the evil of graft, and to keep his administration clean and pure. 

When the Colonel had laid before the mayor his request for an ordinancecompelling all opera house owners in Kilo to install and maintain fournickel-plated fire-extinguishers in each opera house, the mayor beamedon him through his iron-rimmed spectacles. 

"Ho! Ho-o!" he exclaimed, "it is to make Mister Skinner buy somefire-extinguishers, yes? So shall my city council pass an ordinance, yes? Um!"

He smiled broadly at the Colonel, and then nodded. 

"For how much you graft me?" he asked blandly. 

"What?" asked the Colonel. 

"Graft me, " repeated Mayor Stitz. "I say for how much you will graft mewhen I shall pass one such ordinance my council through?"

"What's that?" asked the Colonel, puzzled. 

"For how much you will make me one graft?" Mayor Stitz repeated slowly. "Graft! Graft! Understand him not?"

The Colonel shook his head. 

"What is it?" he asked. 

"Graft! Graft! Graft!" exclaimed the mayor with annoyance. "Don't youknow him? When I make you one ordinance to pass, so, then you make meone graft, so! Like I read me in this book. Me to you, one ordinance;you to me one graft. So!"

A look of dismay came over the face of the Colonel, as he frowned atthe smooth, honest face of the mayor, from which beamed eyes of childishhonesty and frankness. 

"Here in this book, " said the mayor slowly and distinctly, like oneexplaining some simple thing to a child, "I read me of this graftbusiness. It is to me this graft comes. So it is by all big cities. Manwould have one ordinance. Goot! In every town is such one boss grafter. To the boss grafter gives the ordinance-wanting man a graft. So! Thenfor the ordinance-wanting man does the boss grafter get one ordinancemade like is wanted. Yes! So, it is; no graft, no ordinance! Some graft, some ordinance! I read him in this book Doc Weaver gives me as a lessonto go by. It is a goot way. I like me that graft business. "

A glimmer of the meaning entered the Colonel's mind, but he could hardlyconnect the idea of graft with the honest Johann Stitz. As a fact, toMayor Stitz the idea of unlawful gain did not come. Graft was a way outof the difficulty of having to decide things. It was a system authorizedby the lawmakers of great cities, and a system that could operatein Kilo. Whenever Stitz and his council passed an ordinance someonecomplained, and upbraided him; he saw now why this was; they had notused the approved system. But the Colonel still frowned. 

"Well, what--how much do you want?" he asked. 

Mayor Stitz turned up his innocent face and smiled blandly again. 

"That makes not!" he exclaimed. "In the books it says much money, butis not yet Kilo so gross as New York. We go easy yet a while. It is whatyou want to graft me. One bushel apples--one bushel potatoes--that YOUmust say. "

The Colonel moved closer to the mayor. He thought of Miss Sally, and ofSkinner. 

"I will make you a present of a bushel of apples, " he said. 

The mayor laid down his magazine and arose. As the Colonel watched himwith surprise, he removed his leathern apron. The Colonel folded hishand into a fist, but on the pleasant face of Mayor Stitz there was nosign of anger; no sign of righteous indignation; only a bland look ofsatisfaction. 

"Well, " inquired the Colonel impatiently, "will ye put the ordinancethrough, or won't ye?"

The mayor looked at him with surprise in every feature. Clearly thisColonel did not understand the first rudiments of graft. 

"First I must go by Mr. Skinner, " said Stitz simply. "Mebby he grafts memore NOT to pass such an ordinance. "

"Look here, Stitz, " said the Colonel in alarm. "You ain't goin' to dothat, are ye?"

"Vell, " said the mayor, "still must I do it! So always does the bossgrafter. Which side grafts him the most, so he does. It is always so, never different. To the most grafter, so goes he. I read it in thisbooks. When the boss grafter does not so, what use is the grafts? Howthen does he know which he shall do for, the ordinance-wanting man, orthe ordinance-not-wanting man?"

The Colonel tried to argue with him, but the mayor was obdurate. Hewould not budge from the highest principles of graft, and, as theColonel had gone too far now to recede with honor, he secured the bestterms he could. The most he could obtain was a promise that the mayorwould not mention any names, nor so much as hint that graft had beenpromised. He uneasily awaited the mayor's return. 

Stitz returned radiant. He was rubbing his hands and beaming. 

"Fine!" he exclaimed. "Fine! I make me one boss grafter yet! MisterSkinner grafts me one roast beef and six pigs' feet. He ain't muchliking those fire-extinguishers to have. How much more will you graft menow?"

The Colonel looked the mayor squarely in the eye. 

"Stitz, " he said, "I ain't goin' to run no auction with that thereSkinner. I come to you first, an' I was the first to say I'd make youa present, an' you ought to pass that ordinance anyhow. But to shut upthis thing right here an' now, I'll do this: if you'll say you'llpas that ordinance like I want, so Skinner'll have to buy them fournickel-plated fire-extinguishers that Miss Briggs owns, at twenty-fivedollars each, I'll give you four bushels of Benoni apples, two bushelsof Early Rose potatoes, four bunches of celery, a peck of peas, andone spring chicken. And if you won't" he added, raising his handthreateningly, "I'll go to them six councilmen, an' I'll graft 'emone at a time, an' THEN where 'll your boss grafter be? You can't helpyourself. "

"Say!" he exclaimed, "ain't I a boss grafter? Apples, potatoes, celery, peas, and chickens! Five grafts for one ordinance! I do it!"

"An' don't you say nothing about it, " warned the Colonel. 

The Colonel thought there would be no harm in making a little commissionfor himself on the deal. It was not as if he had done nothing to earnit. He would have to furnish the produce for the mayor's "graft, " andhe had secured the services of Toole free of fees, and he was doing MissSally a good turn into the bargain. If Skinner was compelled to buy thefour fire-extinguishers at twenty-five dollars each Miss Sally couldafford a commission of ten dollars each, and forty dollars were alwaysforty dollars to the Colonel. 

The mayor kept his promise. At the next meeting of the council theordinance was proposed, and hurried to a third reading by suspension ofthe by-laws, and the next day Stitz signed it. There was some oppositionat the council meeting, for Skinner was present, and wanted to talk, but the marshal was present, too, and at a word from Stitz, he helpedSkinner down the stairs, but gently, as a marshal owing a considerablebutcher's bill should. 

CHAPTER XI. The False Gods of Doc Weaver

When Eliph' Hewlitt reached the hotel after his unfortunate visit ofcourtship, he stood a minute irresolute, and then the sign of the KILOTIMES, across the street, caught his eye. Here was a power he must notneglect; the power of the press. He knew well enough that the next issueof the KILO TIMES would chronicle his arrival in town; somethinglike "E. Hewlitt is registered at the Kilo Hotel, " or "E. Hewlitt, representing a New York publishing house, is sojourning in our midst, "but he felt that his heart interest in Kilo demanded something more thanthis. He was willing to have all the friends he could muster for thefight he would have to make for Miss Sally's affection, and he knew thatthe press was powerful in creating first impressions. He crossed thestreet and climbed the stair to the office of the KILO TIMES. 

Every Thursday, except once a year, when Thomas Jefferson Jones went tothe State Fair at Des Moines, the KILO TIMES appeared, printed on an oldWashington hand-power press in the TIMES office four small pages, backedby four other pages that came already printed from a Chicago supplyhouse, with the usual assortment of serial story, "Hints to Farmers, "column of jokes, sermon, and patent medicine advertisements. T. J. 's ownside was made up of local advertisements, a column of editorial, a fewbits of local news that he could scrape together, and several columnsof "country correspondence. " T. J. Himself was the entire force of theTIMES, except for a boy who came in every Thursday morning to work thehand-power of the press, who then washed up and delivered the papersabout town. T. J. Had built up the paper from a state of decay until itwas one of the most prosperous country weeklies in Iowa, and he had donethis against a handicap that would have discouraged most men--he was notmarried. 

In Kilo subscriptions are frequently paid in turnips or cordwood, andthe advertisers expect at least half of their bills to be taken out intrade, and the unmarried publisher is at a disadvantage. An unmarriedpublisher has little use for the trade half of the payment he receivedfrom the advertising milliner. No editor can appear in public wearing agorgeously flowered hat of the type known as "buzzard, " and retain therespect of his subscribers. Neither can he receive as currency, in ayear when the turnip crop is unusually plentiful, more than sixty orseventy bushels of turnips in one day without having to get rid of themat a severe discount. But, in spite of all this, T. J. , by his energyand good humor, had made a success of the TIME, and his editorialsadvising the people not to patronize the Chicago mail-order houses, butto patronize their home merchants, were copied by his contemporaries allover the State. One of his editorials on the prospects of the year's hogcrop was quoted by the hog editor of a big Chicago daily, word for word. These are the real triumphs of country journalism, and all overthe State his paper was referred to by his brother editors as "Ourenterprising contemporary, the KILO TIMES, " and T. J. As "The brilliantyoung editor of the same. "

When Eliph' Hewlitt entered the printing office T. J. Was standingby his case setting up an item of news. He never wrote anything buteditorials on paper; other matter he composed in type as he went along. It saved time. Now he laid his "stick" on the case and turned to Eliph'. 

"My name is Hewlitt, Eliph' Hewlitt, " said the book agent, "agent forJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art, ' published by Jarby & Goss, New York; price five dollars, neatly bound in cloth, one dollar down, and one dollar a month untilpaid. "

As the editor was about to speak, Eliph' raised his hand. 

"I don't want to sell you one!" he exclaimed. "We are members of thesame craft, and I never canvass publishers, except to offer them achance to buy this book at a very liberal discount offered by our firmto the fellow members of the great craft, a discount of forty percent, bringing the cost of the book, complete in every respect and exactlylike those sold regularly for five dollars, down to the phenomenallylow cost of three dollars. At this price no publisher can afford to bewithout a copy, containing, as it does, all the matter usually foundin the most complete and expensive encyclopedias, and much more, allcondensed into one volume for ready reference. It saves times andmoney. "

T. J. Shook his head, not unkindly, but positively, and was about toturn to his case again, but Eliph' held out his hand. 

"I merely mentioned it, " he said, with a smile. "I don't want to sellyou one. I supposed you would have learned from the landlord that I wasin town and I only wanted to be sure that you got the item right for thenext paper. "

T. J. Turned to his galleys and read from the type:

"'One of the visitors to our little burg this week is E. Hewlitt, of NewYork, who is stopping at the Kilo House. '"

Eliph' stroked his whiskers and smiled. 

"Yes, " he said. "Quite correct. H-e-w-l-i-t-t, I presume? A very gooditem, and well worded, but it might be more--more extensive. "

"We are rather crowded for space this week, " said T. J. "Two of ourcountry correspondents missed the mails last week, and we have a doubledose of it this week. "

"Certainly, " said Eliph'. "But I was thinking that this book ought to bementioned. The advent of a book like Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledgeand Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, containing, as it does, selections from the world's best literature, hints and helps for eachand every day in the year, recipes for the kitchen, the dying wordsof all the world's great men, with their lives, et cetery, ought to benoticed. I was wondering if you would have space to run in a little cardabout that book. "

T. J. Came forward and brushed a heap of exchanges from the only chairin the office, and motioned to it with his hand. Eliph' laid his book onthe editor's desk, and picked up a copy of last week's TIMES. He ran hiseye over the columns, and stopped at the advertisement of Skinner, thebutcher. 

"I was thinking of something about twice the size of this, " hesuggested. 

T. J. Smiled and mentioned his rate for the space. It was not much, andEliph' nodded. 

"Every week, until forbid, " he said, "and I guess I'd better subscribe. I am going to live right her in Kilo right along now, and the man thatdon't take his home paper never knows what is going on. "

T. J. Was pleased. He was more pleased when Eliph' pulled a long pursefrom his pocket, and paid for one insertion of the advertisement and forthe subscription. The editor pulled a pad of paper toward himself, and wrote hastily, while Eliph' briefly mentioned facts. When the nextnumber of the TIMES appeared there was a well-displayed advertisement ofJarby's Encyclopedia, with Eliph' Hewlitt mentioned as agent, but moreimportant to Eliph' was the "local item" that stood at the very top ofthe local column. 

"We are glad to announce that Kilo has secured as a citizen Eliph'Hewlitt, a man whose work in behalf of good literature entitles him tothe highest praise. Mr. Hewlitt, who intends to make his home withus permanently, is representative of the celebrated work, Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, published by Jarby & Goss, Greater New York, and his travels in behalfof that work have taken him to all parts of the nation. To have a manof such extensive travel decide to make Kilo his home is an honor. Mr. Hewlitt says that in all his travels he never found a town moreup-to-date and progressive for its size than our own little burg. Weheartily welcome him to our midst. 

"We have it on good authority that Mr. Hewlitt is a man of considerablemeans, amassed in carrying on his work as a disseminator of literature, and that he intends, in the near future, to purchase a home here. Hewill probably buy a lot, and erect a dwelling that will be a creditto him and to our little burg. At present he is stopping with DoctorWeaver, the leading physician of our little burg. 

"We learn that our new citizen has followed a habit universally adoptedby many authors, theatrical artists, and others gifted in various ways, and early adopted a NOM DE PLUME, choosing the name of Eliph' Hewlittbecause of its unassuming simplicity. His real name is Samuel Mills, andhe is the son of the late W. P. Mills, of Franklin, gifted author of thedeservedly famous poetical work, 'The wages of Sin. ' Early in his careerour new citizen found himself overshadowed by the fame of his father, and unwilling to succeed buy by and because of his own efforts, hechose a NOM DE PLUME, which he has ever since used. This truly Americanindependence does him the greatest credit. 

"Mr. Mills, or Eliph' Hewlitt, as he prefers to be known, is an oldschoolmate of James Wilkins, the prominent livery and hotel man of ourlittle burg. Again we welcome him to our midst. "

This was headed, "Eliph' Hewlitt Now a Citizen of Kilo!" and it was allthe introduction the little book agent needed--except to Miss Sally. When se read it she turned pale. A book agent living in the very townwas more than she could bear. 

But there was another item of news that Eliph' left with T. J. That wentinto the same issue of the TIMES. This stated that Mrs. Smith, of NewYork, and Miss Susan Bell were visiting Miss Sally Briggs, and T. J. Hadcompleted the slight information given him by Eliph' by a call at MissSally's. It was after Eliph' had told T. J. That he meant to make hishome in Kilo that the enterprising editor suggested Doc Weaver's as agood boarding place, and the little book agent was glad enough to settlehimself in a real home, for the Kilo Hotel was hardly more than an annexto the liver, feed and sale stable part of Jim Wilkins' business, andany man with half an eye could see that it was not, as a home for men, to be compared to the comfort with the stable, as a home for horses. Jimwould have been the last man in Kilo to expect a visitor to remain inthe Kilo Hotel more than two days. Before the end of the day Eliph' hadarranged with Mrs. Doc Weaver for board and lodging, and had moved hisbig valise to the little back room on the second floor, from the lowsix-paned windows of which he could look out over the cornfield thatenvironed Kilo on that side. 

At supper he met Doc Weaver himself, and found him, as Kilo pronouncedhim, "a ready talker. " Eliph' and Doc Weaver were sitting at the suppertable, earnestly engaged in conversation, while the doctor's wifecleared away the dishes, and Eliph' was pouring out the knowledge hehad absorbed from Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendiumof Literature, Science and Art. The doctor was having a mental feast. Behind his spectacles his eyes glowed, and in exact ratio, as thedoctor's spirits rose, the frown on his wife's forehead deepened. 

The doctor had few opportunities for discussing any subjects but themost ordinary. Neighborhood gossip, the weather, the price of corn, werethe usual sources of conversation in Kilo, except when an election gavea political tinge to discussions, or when a revival turned all attentionto religious matters; but the doctor's mind scorned these limitation, and he found few persons from year's end to year's end to whom he couldspeak openly on his favorite themes. 

To Kilo in general the doctor was something of a mystery. Ordinarilyhe was the most silent of men, but on occasion, as for instance when hecould buttonhole an intelligent stranger, he dissolved into a torrent ofwords. 

Doc Weaver held views. He believed there were other things besides theRepublican party and the Methodist Church, and being liberal-minded, he believed all these other things in turn, and he had believed thementhusiastically. He could not help thinking that he was of a littlefiner clay than Skinner, or Wilkins, or Colonel Guthrie. Kiloconsidered the doctor one of her peculiar institutions; as Kilo tookthe ever-joking Toole seriously, so she took the ever serious doctorgood-naturedly, but not too seriously. He was "jist Doc Weaver, " andKilo reserved the right to laugh at him in private, and to brag abouthim to strangers, and they were apt to "joke" him about his beliefs. As he was sensitive and dreaded the rough raillery of his neighbors, hekept his enthusiasms to himself. He was like an overcharged bottle ofsoda water. 

Eliph' and the doctor were discussing Christian Science and faith curesgenerally, and when the doctor's wife passed to and fro, catching aphrase now and then, a look of deep anxiety spread over her face, until, as she brushed the crumbs from the red tablecloth, her shoulders seemedto droop in dejection. 

When she smoothed the cloth and set the lamp on the mat in the centerthe doctor glanced at his watch and arose. He buttoned his frock coatover his breast (it was the only frock coat in Kilo), and drew on hisdriving gloves, holding his hands on a level with his chin. It was ahabit, an aristocratic touch, which, like his side-whiskers, detachedhim from the rest of Kilo. He had once worn a silk hat, but he soonabandoned it for gray felt; for even he saw that a silk hat emphasizedhis individuality too strongly for comfort. It was a tempting mark forsnowballs in winter. 

When the doctor had closed the door and stepped from the front porch, his wife sank into a chair. 

"I do hope you won't git mad at what I'm goin' to say, Mister Hewlitt, "she said, "'cause I ain't goin' to say it for no such thing; but Icouldn't help hearin' what you was sayin' to Doc while I was reddin' offthe table. I wisht you wouldn't let him git to talkin' about new-fangledreligions and sich. It ain't for his good nor mine. "

Eliph' nodded good-naturedly. 

"Why, ma'm, " he exclaimed, "we were only discussing faith cures, andneither of us believes in them--wholly, that is. Of course everyonewho has read the chapter on "India, It's Religions and Its History, ' inJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art, must to some extend admit the power of mind over matter. Butif you'd rather not have me, I'll not discuss it again. There are onethousand and one other interesting subjects treated of in this greatbook, any one of which will please the studious mind. "

"I'd rather you wouldn't, if you don't mind, " said the doctor's wifesimply. 

Eliph' Hewlitt pushed back his chair, and arose as he saw the lines ofworry leave the face of his hostess. He turned to the side table andlooked among the books that lay on it. 

Mrs. Weaver sprang to her feet. 

"Land's sakes!" she cried. "I know what you're lookin' for. You'relookin' for that book of yourn, ain't you? It's right there behind themwax flowers on that what-not. I seen it layin' around and I jist shovedit back there so Doc wouldn't git at it. "

"Well, you sit down, ma'm, " said the book agent. "I can get it. Butthere was no need to be so particular. The doctor knows how to hand abook as well as the next man. "

The doctor's wife drew her darning basket from the side table and turnedits contents into her lap. 

"'Twasn't that, " she said; "I'd never have thought of that, I guess. Ihit it because I didn't know if 'twas a proper book for Doc. It's got akind of a queer name. "

Eliph' turned the book over in his hand. It was the first time anyonehad suggested that the volume might be dangerous. He looked up andsmiled. 

"It would not harm the youngest child, ma'm, " he said, "unless it fellon it. I wouldn't harm a baby. "

"Well, I guess you'll think I'm awful foolish about Doc, " said Mrs. Weaver, "but I wasn't goin' to take no chances, and the name kind ofriled. Me. And them pictures of ladies bending. "

"Physical Culture, " said Eliph', "How to Develop the Body, How toMaintain Perfect Health, How to Keep Young and Beautiful. Page 542. Why, ma'm, that's just a system of training for the body. It makes one moregraceful, just like running and jumping makes a boy strong. "

The doctor's wife heaved a sigh of relief. 

"Well, I guess that won't hurt Doc any if he does read it, " she laughed. "I thought it was some new-fangled religion or other, and I allus keepsich things out of Doc's reach. Mebby you'll think I'm crazy, but whenyou know Doc as well as I do, you'll find out mortal quick he is totake up with new notions, and it would be jist like him to give up hissittin' in church and go and be a Physical Culture, if there was anysich belief. I don't mind much his bein' a Socialist, or any of thempolitercal things, if he wants to, --and goodness knows he does, --'causethey keep his mind busy; but since I got him to jine church I'm goin'to keep him jined, Physical Culture or no Physical Culture. I seen thempictures, and they riled me right up, to think of Doc's goin' roundwrapped up in them sheets, or whatever it is on them folks in thepictures. Mebby it's all right for Physical Culturers, but I don't everhope to see Doc so. "

Eliph' Hewlitt laughed a thin little laugh, and Mrs. Weaver smiled. 

"Now, you do think I'm foolish, don't you?" she inquired. "But I hadsich a time with Doc 'fore I married him that I'm scared half to deathevery time I hear a long word I ain't right sure of. I was 'most worriedout of my wits last Summer when Miss Crawford was lecturin' on ChristianScience. It was jist about even whether Doc 'ud git in line or not. Hehad an awful struggle, poor feller, 'cause he can't bear to have nothin'new to believe in com round and him not believe in it. Religions is toDoc jist like teethin' is to babies; they got to teethe, and seem likeDoc's got to catch new religions. He ain't never real happy when heain't got no queer fandango to poke his nose into. But he didn't gitChristian Scientisted. 

"I says to him, 'Doc, ain't you an allopathy?' And he says, 'Yes, certainly. ' 'Well, ' I says, 'if you go and be a Christian Science youcan't be no allopathy, Doc. Christian Science and allopathy don't mix, 'I says, 'and you'd starve, that's what you'd do. I leave it to you, Doc, if you quit big pills, how'd you ever git a livin'? There ain't no bigpills set down in the Christian Science book. '

"Well, he poked his eyes up at the ceiling, and says, 'I might write, Loreny. ' 'Yes, ' I says, 'so you might. And what 'd you write, DocWeaver?' I says. 'Shakespeare?' And Doc shet right up, and neversaid another word. It was a mean thing for me to say, but I was awfulworried. "

"Shakespeare?" inquired Eliph'. 

"Yes, that's the word--Shakespeare, " said Mrs. Weaver. "It come purtynigh keeping me from marrying Doc. You see, Doc ain't like common folks. Don's got sich broad ideas of things. Lib'ral, he calls it, but I nameit jist common foolish. He's got to give every new-fangled scheme ashow. I guess, off and on, Doc's believed most every queer name in thedictionary, and some that ain't been put in yet. I used to tell him theydidn't git them up fast enough to keep up with him. He's got a wonderfulmind, Doc has. 

"I hain't no notion how ever Doc got started believin' things, but mebbyhe got in with a bad lot at the doctor school he went to. Doc told mehisself they cut up dead folks. Anyhow, he come back from Chicagoa regular atheist; but that was before I knowed him. He lived up atClarence, and he didn't come to Kilo 'til about ten years after that, and he'd got pretty well along by then, and had got right handy atbelievin' things. 

"Well, when Doc come to Kilo pa had jist died an' ma an' me had to takein boarders to git along; so Doc come to our house to board. That's howDoc an' me got to know each other. I was about as old as Doc, and wewasn't either of us very chickenish, but I thought Doc was the finestman I'd ever saw, an' exceptin' what I'm tellin' you, I ain't ever hadcause to change my mind. 

"I'd never sa so many books as Doc brought--more'n we've got now. Iburned a lot when we got married--Tom Paine and Bob Ingersoll, and all Iwasn't sure was orthodoxy. Why, we had more books than we've got inthe Kilo Sunday School Lib'ry. 'Specially Shakespeare books, someShakespeare writ hisself, an' some that was writ about him. Doc was realtook up with Shakespeare them days. 

"'Most all his spare time Doc put in readin' them Shakespeare books, andsometime he'd git a new one. One day he come home mad. I ain't seen Docreal mad but twice, but he was mad that day and no mistake. He'd got anew book, an' he set down to read it as soon as he got in the house; butevery couple of pages he'd slap it shut and walk up an' down, growlin'to hisself. Oh, but he was riled! That night I heard him stampin' upan' down his room, mad as a wet hen, and by and by I heard that bookgo rattlin' out of the window and plunk down in the radish bed. So nextmorning I went out and got it, 'cause I liked Doc purty well by then, and it made me sorry to see sich a nice, quiet man carry on so. 

"I couldn't make head nor tail of the book, nor see why it riled Docup so. It was jist another Shakespeare book, only this one said that itwasn't Shakespeare, but some one else, that wrote the Shakespeare books. I thought Doc was real foolish to git so mad about it, but I had no ideahow much Doc had took it to heart. 

"Well, I do run on terribul when I git started, don't I? An' them supperdishes waitin' to be washed! But I guess it won't hurt them to stand abit. You see, when Doc begun to take a likin' for me, the poor fellerstarted in to talk about what he believed in. Most fellers does. Firsthe begun about greenbacks. He was the only Greenbacker in Kilo; but thatwas jist politercal stuff, and while I'm a good Republican, like pa was, I didn't see that it would hurt if my husband did think other than whatI did on that, so long as he wasn't a saloon Democrat. That was whenthey was havin' the prohibition fight in Ioway, you know. But when Docbegun lettin' out hints that he didn't think much of goin' to church, Iwas real sorry. 

"I was sorry because I couldn't see my way clear to marry an outsider, bein' a good Methodist myself; but I didn't dream but that he was jistone of these lazy Christians that don't attend church lest they'redragged. There is plenty sich. I thought mebby I could bring him roundall right once he was married; so I jist asked him right out if he wouldjine church. 

"Well, you'd have thought I'd asked him to take poison! He didn't flareup like some would, but jist sat down and explained how he couldn't. Iguess he must have explained, off an' on, for three weeks before I gota good hang of his idea. Seems like he was believing some Hindoo stuffjist then. I don't know as you ever heart tell of it. It's about souls. When a person dies his soul goes into another person, and so on, untilkingdom come. R'inca'nation's what they call it. "

"Yes, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, "it is all given in 'India, Its Religionsand Its History, ' in Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium ofLiterature, Science and Art. "

"Jist so!" said Mrs. Weaver. "Well, I guess by the time Doc got doneexplainin' I knew more about r'inca'nation than what your Encyclopediaof Compendium does, because night after night Doc would sit up andexplain till I'd drop off asleep. 

"But it wasn't no use. So far as I could see, r'inca'nation was jistplain error and follerin' after false gods, and I told Doc so. Anyhow, I knowed there wan't nothin' like it in the Methodist Church, an' I jistup and let Doc know I wouldn't marry anybody that believed such stuff. Doc reckoned to change my mind, but my argument was jist plain 'Iwon't!' and that settled it. I believe a man and wife ought to belong tothe same church, --'thy God shall be my God'--and I wasn't goin' to giveup what I'd been taught for any crazy notions Doc had got into his head. I told him so, plain. 

"Then Doc took a poetry-writing spell, but he wasn't no great hand atit. I told him in plain words he would be better off rollin' allopathypills. I used to git right put out with Doc sometimes, foolin' away goodtime that way, sittin' round by the hour spoilin' good paper. I reckonhe started close onto a thousand poems, but he didn't git along verygood. 'Bout the their line he'd stop and tear up what he'd wrote. WhenI wasn't mad I used to feel real sorry for Doc, he tried so hard;but feelin' sorry for him didn't help him none, and it was kind ofridiculous to see him. 

"One day I asked Doc why he didn't tell ma and the rest of Kilo whathe believed in, and he said that Kilo folks couldn't understand sichthings, bein' mostly born and bred in the Methodist Church, and notlib'ral like he was. I seen he was payin' me a compliment, because hehad told me, but I couldn't swaller r'inca'nation, for all that. And sowe didn't seem to git no further. 

"But one day Doc says, 'Well, Loreny, WHY can't you marry me? Theyain't no one can love you like I do, and you know I'll make you a goodhusband, and I'll go to church with you reg'lar if you say so. '

"'Goin' to church ain't all, Doc Weaver, ' I says. 'I jist won't marry aman that believes sich trash as you do. '

"'Well, tell me why not, ' he says. 

"'I'll tell you, Doc Weaver, ' I says, 'since you drive me to it. I'mwilling enough to marry YOU, but I ain't willing to marry some oldheathen Chinee or goodness knows what!'

"'Doc was took all aback. 'Why, Loreny!' he says, 'Why, Loreny!'

"'I mean it, ' I says, 'jist what I say. How can I tell who you are whenyou say yourself you ain't nothing but some old spirit in a new body?Like as not you're Herod, or an Indian, or a cannibal savage, and I'dlike to see myself marryin' sich, ' I says, 'I'd look purty, wouldn't I, settin' in church alongside of a made-over Chinee?'

"Doc ain't very pale, ever, but he got as red as a beet, and I see I'dhit him purty hard. Then he kind of stiffened up. 

"'Loreny, ' he says, 'I'd have thought you'd have believed my spirit tobe a little better than a heathen Chinee's, ' he says, 'though there'smuch worse folks than what they are. '

"I seen he was put out, an' I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, so Isays, more gentle, 'Well, Doc, if you ain't that, what are you?'

"I s'pose, Mr. Hewlitt, you've noticed how sometimes something you findout will make clear to you a lot of things you couldn't make head nortail of before. That's the way what Doc said did for me. There was thatpoetry writin' of his, an' the way that Shakespeare book made him mad, an' how he read those Shakespeare books instead of his Mateery Medickyvolumes. 

"Well, I asked Doc, 'If you ain't a heathen Chinee or some sich, whatare you?' an' when he answered you could have knocked me down with awisp of hay. You'd never guess, no more than I did. 

"'Loreny, ' he says, solemn as a deacon, 'I didn't reckon never to tellnobody, an' you mustn't judge what I tell you too quick. I ain't made upmy mind sudden-like, ' he says, 'but have studied myself and what I likeand don't like, for years, and I've jist been forced to it, ' he says. 'There ain't no doubt in my mind, Loreny, ' he says, an' he let his voicego way down low, like he was 'most afraid to say it hisself. 'Loreny, Ibelieve that Shakespeare's spirit has transmigrated into me. '

"Well, sir, I was too taken aback to say a word. I thought Doc had gonecrazy. But he hadn't. 

"When I kind of got my senses back I riled up right away. 'Well, ' I sayssnappy, 'I think when you was pickin' out someone to be you might havepicked out someone better. From all I've heard, Shakespeare wasn't nobetter than he'd ought to have been. He don't suit me no better than aChinee would, and I hain't no fancy to marry Mister Shakespeare. Maybeyou think it's fine doin's to be Shakespeare, Doc Weaver, but I don't, and I ain't going to marry a man that's like a two-headed cow, half onething and half another, and not all of any. When you git your senses, 'I says, 'you can talk about marryin' me' and off I went, perky as apeacock. But I cried 'most all night. 

"Him an' me kind of stood off from each other after that, and I made upmy mind I'd die before I'd marry Doc so long as he was Shakespeare, andDoc had got the notion that he was Shakespeare so set in his mind itseemed likely he would. 

"I hadn't never took much stock in poetry readin' since I got out of'Mother Goose, ' but I begun to read Shakespeare a little jist to seewhat kind of poetry Doc thought he had writ when he was Shakespeare. Well, I wouldn't want to see sich books in the Sunday School Lib'ry, that's all I've got to say. Some I couldn't make sense out of, but therewas one long poem about Venus and some young feller--well, I shouldn'tthing the gov'ment would allow sich things printed! I jist knowed Doccouldn't ever have writ such stuff. There ain't so much meanness in him. But I couldn't see clear how to make Doc see it that way. 

"I'd about given up hopes of ever curing Doc, when one day a feller cometo town and give a lecture in the dance room over the grocery. He wasone of these spiritualism fellers, and as soon as it was noised aroundthat he was comin', I knowed Doc would be the first man to go and thelast to come away, and he was. Thinks I, 'Let him go. If Doc jines inwith spiritualists, it will be better'n what he believes in now, and ifhe begins changin' religions, mebby I can keep him changin', and changehim into a churchgoer. " And so, jist to see what Doc was like to be, I coaxed ma to go, an' I went, too. It wasn't near so sinful as Iexpected. 

"The feller's name was Gilson, an' he was as pale as a picked chicken, but real common lookin', otherwise. He was a right-down good talker andseemed real earnest. He wasn't the ghost-raisin' kind of spiritualist, and them that went to see a show, come away dissap'inted, for all he didwas to talk and take up a collection. He said he was a new beginner andused to be a Presbyterian minister. Doc stayed after it was over and hada talk with Gilson, and of course he got converted, like he always did. He told ma so. 

"I hadn't been havin' much talk with Doc one way or another, but when matold me he had jined the spiritualists I eased up a litt, and one dayI made bold to say, 'Well, Doc, I s'pose now you have give up thatShakespeare foolishness, ain't you?'

"'No, Loreny, ' he says, 'I ain't. '

"'Land's sakes!' I says, 'do you mean to say you can be two things atonce in religion, as well as bein' Shakespeare and Doc Weaver?'

"'Yes, Loreny, ' he says. 'The spirit has got to be somewheres betweenthe times it has got a body, ' he says, 'That stands to reason. It'salways puzzled me where I was between the time I died two or threehundred years ago and the time I entered this body, ' he says, 'andspiritualism makes it all clear. I was floatin' in space. '

"That's jist how fool-crazy Doc was them days. There he was believin'with all his might that r'inca'nation business and that spirit businessat the same time. 

"I says, 'Well, Doc, some day you'll see how deep in error you are, ' andI didn't say no more. 

"Of course Doc wouldn't let well-enough alone. There was a bigspiritualist over to Peory, Illinoy, a reg'lar ghost-raisin' feller, andwhat did Doc do but write over and git him to come to Kilo and give aséance. That is a meetin' where they raise up ghosts. Doc wanted thefeller to stop at our house, but I wouldn't have it, so he had to put upat the hotel. Doc said it was a shame, but as soon as I seen the man Isaid it served him right, and that he was a fraud, but Doc swallered himright down, hide an' hoof. 

"They had the séance in the hotel parlor, and no charge, so me and mawent, thought we wasn't jist sure it was right; but I says it wasn't asif it was real--we knowed it was all foolishness; so ma and me trottedalong. I found out afterward that Doc paid to have the feller cometo Kilo. His name was Moller, an' he was one of them long-hairedgreasy-lookin' men. 

"I must say it was real scary when they turned the lights down an'Moller made tables jump around and fiddles play without anybody playin'on them. There wasn't many folks there, but ma held my hand, an' I heldma's, and Doc was right in front of us. 

"Moller did a lot of tricks sich as I hear they always do, an' then hesaid he'd bring up any spirits anyone would like to have come up. Thatwas what Doc was waitin' for, and he popped right up. 

"'I should like to talk to Bacon, ' he says. 

"'Bacon?' says Moller. 'There's a good many Bacons in spirit-land. Whichone do you want to speak to, brother?"

"'The one that lived when Shakespeare did, ' says Doc. 'The one thatwrote the essays and sich. Sir Francis Bacon. '

"'Ah, yes!' says Moller. 'I'll see if he's willin' to say anytingto-night. ' And down he set into a chair. Well, you'd have died! In a bithis head and legs begun to jerk like he had St. Vitus dance, and then hestraightened out, stiff as a broomstick. It was the silliest thing everI seen. I felt real sorry for Doc, he was so dead earnest about it. 

"In a minute Moller opened his jaw and begun to talk. It was all sort ofjerky-like. 

"'I'm sailin' through starry fields, ' he says, 'explorin' the wonders ofthe universe. Why am I called back to earth this way? Doth somebody wantto question me about something?'

"Doc was all worked up. He held onto a chairback, an' he was so shakin'I could hear the loose chair rungs rattle. 

"'Is this Bacon?' he says. 

"'It is, ' says Moller, his voice jerkin' like a kitten taken with thefits. 

"'Well, ' says Doc, like his life was hangin' on what Moller would say, 'did you, or did you not, write Shakespeare's plays?'

"'I did not, ' Moller jerked out; 'Shakespeare did. '

"You could hear Doc sigh all over the room, it was sich a relief to hismind. Doc was awful pleased. He was smilin' all over his face, he wasso pleased to have Bacon own up, an' he turned to ma and me and says, 'Ain't it wonderful!'

"Then Moller come out of his fit an' set still a while, like he had jistwoke up from a long nap. Then he says he's goin' into another trance, an' if any in the room wants to hold talk with any of their lost friendsor kin, they should ask for them, an' he jerked again, and jerked outstiff. 

"That old back-slider, Pap Briggs, popped up, but Doc was ahead of him, 'cause Pap always has to regulate his store teeth before he can git histongue goin', and Doc says, 'I desire to speak with Richard Burbage. '

"I guess Moller didn't now any sich feller. Anyways he jist lay stillan' so Doc says, 'Mebby there's several Richard Burbages. I mean the onethat owned a theater with Shakespeare. ' But Richard Burbage didn't feedlike talkin' that evenin'. I reckon Moller didn't know nothin' aboutRichard Burbage, and was frightened that Doc would ask him somethingthat he couldn't answer. There ain't nobody slicker than them fakefellers. It's their business. 

"But Doc was so worked up he would have swallered anything, and I guessMoller thought he had to make up to Doc for payin' his expenses, so hesays, smilin', 'I see, doctor, you are interested in literature, andI'll try to get somebody in that line that's willing to talk. ' So hejerked into another trance. 

"Purty soon Moller says: 'From the seventh circle I have come, drawn bythe will of somebody that knows and loves me. It's a long way. Billionsof miles off is ny new home, where I spend eternity writin' things thatmake what I writ on earth look like nothin', '--or some sich nonsense. Doc looked back at me once, proud as sin, an' then he swelled out hislungs, an' run his hand over his whiskers, like you've seen him do. Hewas gittin' wound up for a good talk. 

"If I do say it myself, Doc's a good talker, an' I figgered he'd makeMoller hustle. I see Doc was goin' to spread hisself to do credit toShakespeare. He hadn't no doubt that one spirit would recognize another, so he says, like he was makin' a speech, 'You know who I am?'

"'I do, ' says Moller. 

"'Then, ' says Doc, 'since my spirit eyes are blinded by this mortalbody, may I ask who you are?' He didn't hardly breathe. Then Mollerjerked. 'I am Shakespeare, ' he says, sudden-like. 

"'What's that?' says Doc, short and quick. 

"'Shakespeare, ' says Moller--'William Shakespeare. '

"Poor Doc jist dropped into his chair, and run his hand over hisforehead and his eyes, like he had bumped into the edge of a door in thedark. I ain't never seen Doc real pale but once, and that was then. Then he turned round to ma an' me, weak as a sick baby, an' says, 'Come, Loreny; this lyin' place ain't nowhere for you and me to be, ' and wewent out. 

"'Well, Doc, ' I says, when we was outside, 'seems to me like there istwo of you, ' and that was all I says to him about it, then; but I guesshe see what a fool he'd been, 'cause the next night he says, 'Loreny, I wisht you'd git me a set of the articles of belief of our church. I'dlike to look them over. '

"'Well, ' I says, 'who'll I say wants them, Shakespeare or Doc Weaver?'

"'You can say an old fool wants them, ' says Doc, 'and you'll hit itabout right. '

"So Doc jined church, an' he's leadin' the singin' now; but you cansee why I keep sich a lookout lest he gits started off on some newreligion. "

Mrs. Weaver glanced at the clock. 

"Mercy me!" she exclaimed. "Doc'll be home before I git them supperdishes washed up. Now, you won't feel hurt because I don't want you totalk new religions to Doc, will you? You can see jist how I feel, andyou wouldn't want no husband yourself that was a philopeny, as you mightsay. I don't believe I could git on real well with Doc if he had kept onbein' Shakespeare. I'd always have felt like he was 'bout three hundredyears older than me. But there's jist one thing I dread more thananything else. If Doc should take up with the Mormon religion and starta harem, I believe I'd coax him to be Shakespeare again. It's bad enoughto have a double husband, but, land's sakes, I'd rather that than bepart of a wife. "

CHAPTER XII. Getting Acquainted

Althought Eliph' Hewlitt was not making much progress in his courtshiphe was far from idle in the succeeding weeks. He had taken many ordersfor Jarby's great book in the county, before he arrived in Kilo, and asa shipment of the books arrived from New York he spent much of histime behind old Irontail making his deliveries and collecting the firstpayments, and some time in the immediate neighborhood making new sales. One of the copies he had to deliver was the one purchased by Mrs. Tarbro-Smith, but although he delivered it to her at Miss Sally's, hedid not have an opportunity to speak to Miss Sally, for she hid herselfwhen he approached the door, and did not come down stairs again until hehad left the house. 

Mrs. Tarbro-Smith received the book with a lady-like enthusiasm, andimmediately placed it upon Miss Sally's center table, where its brightred cover added a touch of cheerfulness to the room, suggestive ofthe knowledge, literature, science and art the book was guaranteed toirradiate in any family. But Miss Sally never so much as looked insideits covers. She avoided it as if the thought the book itself might seizeher and sell to her, against her will, one of its fellows. Mrs. Smithsaid openly that she wished she might see more of Eliph' Hewlitt, andthat she thought him a most remarkable book agent, particularly aftershe had heard of his selling the Missionary Society a wholesale lot ofJarby's Encyclopedia, and after glancing through the book she admittedthat it was really an excellent thing of its kind, but Miss Sally merelyremarked that she didn't like book agents, and that she hated this onemore than most, he was so slick. 

The energetic spirit of Mrs. Smith was sure to carry her into anythingthat partook of a social nature, and she had arrived in Kilo in themidst of the festival season, when out-door festivals of all varietieswere following one after another almost weekly for the benefit of thechurch, which had a properly clinging and insatiable debt. In thesefestivals she took a prominent part, for the brought her in contactwith the people of Kilo as nothing else could, and if she enjoyed theaffairs, so did Susan. Susan bloomed wonderfully. She sprang at oncefrom childhood to young womanhood, and Mrs. Smith was pleased to haveher protégée appear so well and receive so much attention, for she feltthat she had had the revision of her. She already saw in her the heroineof the novel she meant to write, with the plot beginning in Kilo andClarence, and carried to New York and, perhaps, Europe. 

The attorney and the editor were particularly nice to Susan, andattentive to Mrs. Smith at all the festivals, and it amused the NewYorker to find herself and her maid on and equal social plane. It isquite different in New York. But lady's maids in New York are not alllike Susan. Maids in New York do not spend their spare time studyingJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art, and Susan did. Even Eliph' Hewlitt could not have read the bookmore faithfully than Susan did, nor have believed in it more trustfully. Often when the editor or the attorney sought her at one of the festivalsthey would find her talking with Eliph' Hewlitt, exchanging facts out ofJarby's Encyclopedia. 

For Eliph' never missed a festival. He haunted them, standing in onespot until his eyes fell upon Miss Sally, when he would make straightfor her with his dainty little steps, and she, catching sight ofhim--for she was always on the lookout--would move away, weaving aroundand between people until he lost sight of her, when he would stand stilluntil he caught sight of her again. It was like a game. Sometimes hecaught her, but before he could have a word with her she would make anexcuse and hurry away, or turn him over to another. Usually she shieldedherself by keeping either the Colonel or Skinner beside her, if theywere present, and they usually were. 

"Land's sake!" she exclaimed to Mrs. Smith, one evening, as they werewalking home after an ice-cream festival at Doc Weaver's, "I wishsomebody would tell that Mr. Hewlitt that I don't want to buy no books. He pesters the life out of me. I can't show myself nowhere but he comesup, all loaded to begin, and if I'd give him half a chance he'd have mebuyin' a book in no time. It don't seem to make no difference where Iam. I believe he'd try to sell books at a funeral. " Mrs. Smith laughed. 

"I know he would!" she said. "He is delightful! Why don't you do asI did, and buy a book, and then he will be satisfied, and leave youalone. "

"Well, I won't!" declared Miss Sally. "I ain't done nothin' all my lifebut buy books an' then fight pa to get money to pay installments on 'em, an' I won't buy no more! I declared to goodness when I bought them SirWalter Scott books that I wouldn't buy no more, an' I won't. If I buythis one off of this man, there'll be another, an' another, an' so on'til kingdom come, an' one everlasting fight with pa for money. "

"Couldn't you pay for it with the money you got for thosefire-extinguishers?" asked Mrs. Smith. 

"Pa borryed that to pay taxes with, long ago, an' that's the last I'llever see of the money, " said Miss Sally. "Pa ain't the kind that paysback. He's a good getter, an' a good keeper, but he's about the poorestgiver I ever did see, if he is my own father. There ain't nothin' inthe world else that would drive me to get married but just the trouble Ihave to get money out of pa for anything. I ain't even got a black silkdress to my name, and there ain't another lady in Kilo but's got one. Iguessed when we moved to town I would have the egg money same as onthe farm, but since pa had his teeth out an' got new ones he won't eatnothin' but eggs, an' I don't get any egg money. Pa eats so many eggsI'm ashamed to tell it. I wonder he don't sprout feathers. I don'tbelieve so many eggs is good for a man. It don't seem natural. Thatencyclopedia book don't say anywhere that eatin' too many eggs makes aman close fisted, does it?"

Mrs. Smith said she could remember nothing to that effect in the book, and for a minute they walked in silence. Suddenly she looked up andspoke. 

"Miss Sally, " she exclaimed, "I know what to do! I will make you apresent of y encyclopedia. I will give it to you, and the next time yousee Mr. Hewlitt you can tell him you have a copy, and then he will leaveyou alone!"

That was how it happened that at the next festival Miss Sally did notrun when she saw Eliph' Hewlitt approaching, but stood waiting forhim. He stepped up to her with a smile that was half pleasure and halfexcuse. 

"I don't want to buy a book, " she said quickly. "I've got one. Mrs. Smith gave me the one she had. So you needn't pester me any more. "

"I didn't want to sell you a book, " said Eliph' gently, "although Iam glad to learn you have one. No person, whether man, woman or child, should be without a copy of this work, including, as it does, all theknowledge of the ages and all the world's wisdom, from A to Z, condensedinto one volume, for ready reference. It is a book that should be onevery parlor table and----"

"Well, I've got one, " said Miss Sally, "so it's no use wasting talk onit. One's all I want. Another one wouldn't be no good but to clutter upthe house. "

"Just so, " said Eliph'. "I don't want to sell you another. To sell thisbook is the smallest part of my trouble. It is a book that sells itself. I only need to show it, to sell it. Wherever it falls open it attractsthe attention with a gem of thought or a flower of knowledge, perhapsthe language of gems, or the language of flowers, how to cure boils, howto preserve fruit, each page offers something of value to the mind. Acopy of this book in the house is a friend in sickness or in health, a help in business and a companion in pleasure; to the agent it is asource of steady and continuous income. One copy sells another. "

"I said before that I don't want another, " said Miss Sally shortly. 

"Let us talk about something else, " said Eliph' Hewlitt, coughingpolitely behind his hand. "I'll be glad to, but I do not blame you forbringing up the subject of the work I am selling. I make it a rule neverto talk book out of business hours, but I am not sensitive, as some bookagents are. When Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium ofLiterature, Science and Art is mentioned I am not offended; I am notashamed of my business--I enjoy it. I could talk of the merits of thisunequaled work day and night without stopping and yet not do it fulljustice, but I don't. When my work is done I stop talking book. I might, to enliven conversation, quote from the 'Five Hundred Ennobling Thoughtsfrom the World's Greatest Authors, Including the Prose and Poetical Gemsof All Ages, ' containing, as it does, the best thoughts of the greatestminds, suitable for polite and refined conversation, sixty-two solidpages of the, with vingetty portraits of the authors, and a shortbiographical sketch of each, including date and place of birth, date andplace of death, if dead, et cetery. Or I might, to brighten a passingmoment, propound one or more of the 'Six Hundred Perplexing Puzzles, 'page 987, including charades, conundrums, quaint mathematical catches, et cetery, compiled to brighten the mind and puzzle the wits, suitablefor young or old, for grave or gay. It is a book that meets every wantof every day, is neatly and durably bound, and the price is only fivedollars. "

Miss Sally turned as if to run away, but Eliph' put out his hand andtouched her arm lightly. 

"But I don't, " he said. "I don't quote, and I don't propound. I put thebook aside and I forget. When my work is done I relax my mind. I enterinto the pleasures I find most congenial, such as festivals, sociables, fairs, kermesses, picnics, parties, receptions, et cetery, rules andsuggestions for conducting all of which are to be found in this book, which is recommended and esteemed by the leaders of society, both in theFour Hundred and out. Or I read a good book, a list of five hundred ofwhich may be found on page 336, 'The Reader's Guide, ' giving advicein selecting fiction, history, philosophy, religious works, poetry, etcetery, the whole selected by eight of the most eminent professors ofliterature in our colleges and universities, both at home and abroad. Or I indulge in conversation, in which what better guide than is to befound on page 662, 'The Polite Conversationalist, ' including gems ofwit, apt quotations, how to gain and hold the attention, how to amuse, instruct and argue, et cetery? When it is remember that all this, andmuch more, can be had for only five dollars, neatly bound in cloth, one dollar down and one dollar a month until paid, what wonder is itthat--that----"

Suddenly one of the paper lanterns that hung from the wire above themburst into flame, and Eliph' saw on Miss Sally's face the look of fearwith which she was regarding him, fear and fascination mingled. Thesmile faded from his lips, and his gentle blue eyes became troubled. He dropped the hand that had been lightly resting on her arm, and hisdapper air of self-confidence wilted in abashment. 

"Was I--was I talking book?" he asked weakly. "I was! Pardon me, MissBriggs, pardon me, I didn't know it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. "

For a moment Miss Sally studied his face, and she saw only a genuinecontrition there, and a regret so deep that she was sorry for him. Therecould be no doubt of his sincerity. 

"Well!" she exclaimed, with a breath of relief; "I do believe you didn'tknow you was! I believe that book's got so ground into you that youcan't help but talk it, like Benny Tenneker, who got so used to climbin'trees an' fallin' out of 'em that he used to climb the bedposts an' fallof of 'em in his sleep without wakin' up. Mrs. Doc Weaver's his aunt, an' when he visited her he nearly got killed fallin' out of bed when hewas tryin' to climb a bed post when there wasn't not on the bed. He'dgot so he could fall out of any high place an' light safe, but he wasn'tused to fallin' off of low ones. He was such a nice boy. All MarthaWilling's children were nice. Mebby you've met her. She lives outClarence way. "

"Willin?" said Eliph'. "Yes, I sold her a--I mean to say, I met her. "

"Well, her husband's dead, and her and her boys is runnin' the farm, "said Miss Sally, "an' doin' right well, so I guess she ain't afraid ofbook agents. She can afford to buy. I don't know as I'm afraid of 'emeither, or hate 'em as such, but I can't afford. Pa don't approve ofbooks much, an' he can't see why he should pay out money for what hedon't approve of. Books an' taxes he don't care much for. That's why Iwas so scared of you. "

"I didn't want to sell you a--to sell you anything, " said Eliph' meekly. "All I wanted was to get acquainted, to get well acquainted. "

"I guess that's all right then, " said Miss Sally. "There ain't anythingmore natural than that you should wish that, bein' intendin' to makeyour home here. I hope you like the place an' make lot of acquaintances, but if I was you I'd try not to talk book any more than you have to. I don't think it'll help to make you popular, as I may say. That SirWalter man sort of gave everybody an overdose of book, an' folks feelkind of mad at book agents ever since. Like father Emmons, when he hadone of his sick spells, an' nothin' would do but he was goin' to die, sohe got up before sun-up an' drove to town to see Doc Weaver. He let Docknow he felt he was dyin' an' told him the symptoms, an' all Doc sayswas, 'All you want is salts. You stop at the drug store an' get a poundof salts, an' I'll warrant you'll be as well as ever. ' So when hisdaughter--she's Mary Ann Klepper--went into the house after carryin'lunch to the men in the field, there was her poor old father settin' atthe table with the big yeller bake-bowl in front of him, an' himeatin' away at what was in it with a big spoon. 'Eatin' bread an' milk, father?' she asks, an' her pa looks up with tears in his eyes, an'swallers down another spoonful. 'No, ' he says, as cross as a bear, 'I'meatin' a pound o' salts Doc Weaver told me to git, but hang if I can eatanother spoonful, an' I ain't above half done. ' So I guess Kilo folkskind of gag when they think of books. "

"If I so much as mention books, " said Eliph' pleadingly, "I wish you'dstop me. Don't let me. Mebby I do sort of get in the habit of it, thinking it and talking it so much. But I never meant to sell you one. Ionly wanted to get acquainted. "

Miss Sally laughed. 

"Well, " she said cheerfully, "there's different ways to do it, but Iguess you an' me have got well acquainted different from what most folksdoes. Ain't you been over to the ice-cream table yet? Or was you waitin'to be primed; that's what us ladies is here for, to start folks spendin'money, like Mrs. Foster's little nephew that come up from the city tovisit her last summer. He wanted to know what everything was for thatwas on the farm or in the house, that he wasn't used to, an' when theytold him they always had to leave a dipper of water in the pail to primethe pump with so it would give water, he wanted to know if the reasonthey had the pans of milk in the spring-house was so they could primethe cows so they would give milk. "

Eliph' laughed heartily, for his heart was light. He was makingprogress; Miss Sally admitted that they were well acquainted, and now hecould proceed to the second step advised in "Courtship; How to Win theAffections; How to Hold Them When Won. "

CHAPTER XIII. "Second: A Small Present"

The next morning Eliph' Hewlitt purchased the two-pound box of candy inthe pictured box that had long been considered by the druggist a foolishinvestment. For months it had reposed in the end of the toilet soapcase awaiting a purchaser, and had acquired a sweet odor of scented soapmingled with the plainer odor of cut castile, and no one had been soextravagant as to buy it. Once the druggist had tried to persuade thecandy salesman to take it back in exchange for more salable goods, butafter taking it from the show-case and smelling it the drummer refused. At the opposite end of the case the druggist kept his plush manicure andbrush-and-comb sets, with a few lumps of camphor scattered among themto discourage moths, but the odor of camphor did not hurt the candy. Thescented soap protected it from the camphor. When Kilo buys scented soapshe likes to have it really scented. 

Miss Sally, when the small boy Eliph' secured as a messenger haddelivered the box of candy, knew well enough what it meant. The neatlywritten card, "From Yours very truly, E. Hewlitt, " did not suggest much, perhaps, but in Kilo friends do not scatter two-pound boxes of candyrecklessly about. To receive a two-pound box on Christmas would havebeen a suspicious circumstance, for a smaller box would have done quiteas well between friends, but to send a two-pound box on a day that wasno holiday at all, but just a plain day of the week, could stand forbut one of two things--the giver was insane, or he had "intentions, " andMiss Sally knew very well that Eliph' Hewlitt was not insane. Unless onthe subject of Jarby's Encyclopedia. 

She carried the box of candy to Mrs. Smith, and showed her the card. 

"How lovely!" cried Mrs. Smith, an exclamation which might have meanteither the box of candy or the sentiment that inspired the sender, andthen added, "How odd! It smells like soap!"

"That's a sign it's good candy, " said Miss Sally. "The candy Rudge sellsalways smells of soap, an' he handles only the best, so when you seecandy that smells that way you know it's good. This is Rudge's candy, sure enough, for I know this box by heart. Rudge has had it in his showcase ever since the firm was Crimmins & Rudge. It must be some stale bythis time, but the box is pretty. "

"I don't suppose Mr. Hewlitt knew it was stale, " said Mrs. Smith, "Heevidently tried to get the best he could. "

"Yes, " admitted Miss Sally. "He wouldn't know this box of candy so wellas we town folks do, him bein' a newcomer here. I suppose Rudge gave hima discount off the price on account of the box bein' soiled a little. I hope to goodness that man wasn't so foolish as to go an' pay straightsixty cents a pound for it. He got cheated if he did, an' I'll tell himso when I see him next. " She slowly untied the red ribbon that bound thebox, and rolled it neatly around the fingers of her left hand, to layaway for future use. "Now, what do you suppose that man sent it to mefor?" she asked. 

Mrs. Smith smiled, for she knew Miss Sally was asking the questionmerely that she might have her own belief made sure by the words ofanother. 

"Because he's in love, of course, " said Mrs. Smith. "Because he isdesperately in love. It is a romance, my dear. "

Miss Sally looked doubtfully toward Susan, who was curled up on theold sofa in the corner of the room. She was not sure that such mattersshould be discussed before one so young, but Susan would have refused toleave the room, even if asked, and she resented the questioning glancethat Miss Sally had thrown at Mrs. Smith. 

"'Courtship--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How To HoldThem When Won, '" she said gaily. "'First, get acquainted; second, makesmall presents, such as flowers, books or candy; third, ask for thelady's hand. ' You needn't look at me that way, Miss Sally; I know allabout it. I read it in Jarby's Encyclopedia. "

"Lands sakes!" exclaimed Miss Sally. "And me and him only got wellacquainted last night at the festival. I never heard of such a thing!"

"It's love at first sight, " teased Mrs. Smith. "He will probably bearound this afternoon to propose, and we can have the wedding thisevening. "

"Well, he needn't come this afternoon, if he's got it in his mind tocome, " said Miss Sally shortly, "for I won't be at home. I ain't goin'to be rushed that way, not by no man. I don't say but Mr. Hewlitt is aclever spoken man, Mrs. Smith, when he ain't talkin' books, but I ain'tin the habit of bein' courted like I was a Seidlitz powder, and had tobe drunk down before I stopped fizzin'. That may be some folks way ofdoin' it, but it ain't mine. "

"Nor Colonel Guthrie's, " suggested Mrs. Smith. 

"If the Colonel's slow it ain't his fault, " said Miss Sally. "He'dbe quick enough if I'd let him, but I can't see no hurry, one way oranother. I don't say but that a husband is a good thing to have, mindyou! I guess I'm like all other women and want to have one some time, but so long as I've got pa I'm in no hurry. He's as much trouble asa husband would be, and as grumpy when things don't go to suit him. Sometimes I feel like in the end I'd choose to marry the Colonel, sinceit wouldn't be so much of a change, the Colonel bein' like pa in someways, such as bein' economical; and then again I feel like I'd preferSkinner, just because he'd BE a change. I'd be always sure of gettin'good meat, for one thing, and I'd insist upon it. I can't a-bear toughmeat. 

"Shoemakers' children go without shoes, " suggested Mrs. Smith. 

"They wouldn't if I was their mother, an' I'll tell Skinner so, if Ichoose to marry him an' he tries to send home any but the best meat he'sgot in the shop, " said Miss Sally firmly. "That's one man, if I marryhim, I won't take no foolishness from. When a man is castin' his eyes myway, an' then has to have a city ordinance made to compel him to do methe favor of buyin' four fire-extinguishers off of me, that ain't noearthly use to me, I'll let him know I'm going to have my way about somethings when we're married. I know well enough I ain't such a beauty thatSkinner an' the Colonel is what you might call infatuated with me, andI don't expect 'em to be. Pa's got money, and if he didn't have I guessthe Colonel an' Skinner wouldn't bother their heads about me much; butif they like me for pa's money now I guess they'll like me for it justas well after they marry me, for I'll have it well known that moneydon't go out of my name. And I'll let this book agent man know it too. If it's pa's money he's in such a hurry to get, he'll find out hismistake. "

"I rather like the book agent, " said Mrs. Smith. "He doesn't seem to meat all the adventurer type. "

"His whiskers do make him look like a preacher, " said Miss Sally, "ifthat's what you mean; but if he means business he ought to know I ain'tthe kind of bird to be caught with boxes of candy. Neither Skinner northe Colonel is so silly as to think that. "

She smoothed her apron across her knees, and looked at its checkedpattern. 

"Seems to me, " she said, with a touch of regret, "this ain't no time orage for such foolishness. It ain't as if I was a girl like Susan there. Boxes of candy an' Susan would match up like pale blue an' white. Iguess the safe thing is to make choice of one that ain't a stranger. I've done business with Skinner years an' years, sellin' him calves an'buyin' meat off of him; an' as for the Colonel, I guess I know all hisbad points as well as his good ones. The Colonel has been a friend ofpa's a long time. "

So it happened that when Eliph' Hewlitt called at Miss Sally's thatafternoon he did not find her at home. Mrs. Smith received him and triedto make up by her kindness for the disappointment Eliph' evidentlyfelt. She thanked him in Miss Sally's name for the beautiful box ofcandy--although Miss Sally had left no such word--and drew him on totalk of Jarby & Goss, the publishers of the Encyclopedia, and of hisown adventures. The longer she talked with the little man the better heropinion of him became, and she saw that he was gentle, shrewd, capableand sincere--sincere evening his wildest enthusiasm for Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art. When he arose to go he stood a moment hesitatingly with his hat in hishand. He coughed apologetically. 

"I hope Miss Sally like the little token of esteem; the box of candy;"he said, looking up into Mrs. Smith's face anxiously, "it isn't as if Iwas used to such matters. My preference would have been a book; a goodbook; a book that I could recommend to man, woman or child, containingin a condensed form all the world's knowledge, from the time of Adamto the present day, with an index for ready reference, and usefulinformation for every day of the year. It was my intention to have givenher such a book, which would have been a proper vehicle to convey to hermy--my regard, but I learned only last night that she already had a copyof that work, without which no home is complete, and which is publishedby Jarby & Goss, New York, five dollars, bound in cloth; seven fifty, morocco. I learned that she already had one. "

"She told you I had given her my copy?" asked Mrs. Smith. 

"Yes, " said Eliph' simply. "So I could not present her with a copy ofthat work. My preference was to give a work of literature; I am a workerin the field of literature, and it would have been more appropriate. But I could give her nothing but the best of its kinds, and where findanother such book as Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendiumof Literature, Science and Art? Nowhere! There is no other. This bookcombining in one volume selections from the world's best literature, recipes for the home, advice for every period of existence, togetherwith one thousand and one other subjects, forms in itself a volumeunequaled in the history of literature. No person should be without it. "

"I know, Mr. Hewlitt, " pleaded Mrs. Smith, smiling, "but I have alreadybought two copies. Don't you thing you ought to let me off with that?"

"I was not trying to sell you one, " said Eliph' with embarrassment. "Ihoped----" He paused and coughed behind his hand again. "You know myintention in sending a present to Miss Briggs, " he said bravely. "Iadmire her greatly. I--to me she is, in fact, a Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art among women. "

"Dear Mr. Hewlitt, " said Mrs. Smith, taking his hand, "I understand. AndI wish you all the good fortune in the world. I shall do all I can tohelp you. "

"Thank you, " said Eliph', shaking her hand as if she was an oldacquaintance he ad met after long years of separation. "So youunderstand that I can feel the same to no other woman. Not even to--toanyone. " He wiped his forehead with his disengaged hand. "So I feel thatyou will not misunderstand me if I ask you to accept a copy of Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, bound in morocoo, seven fifty. I mean gratis. No home should be withoutone. "

"Why, it is very kind of you to suggest such a thing, " said Mrs. Smith, "and I'm sure I'll be glad to own a copy. "

"I'm glad to have you, " said Eliph'. "I wanted to give you one, but Ididn't want you to think I meant it in the way I meant what I sent toMiss Sally. I was afraid you might, or that Miss Sally might. But Idon't mean it that way. "

"I know you don't, " said Mrs. Smith heartily. "And if Miss Sally isjealous I will tell her she is quite mistaken. But if you will let awoman that has had a little experience advise you, do not be too hasty. Do not try to hurry matters too much. It would spoil everything if youpressed for an answer too soon and received an unfavorable one. And I'mafraid it would be an unfavorable one if you put it to the test now. "

Eliph's countenance fell. It said plainly enough that he understoodher to mean that the Colonel and Skinner were more apt to be favorablyreceived. 

"I'm afraid so, " said Mrs. Smith regretfully. "You know they are olderacquaintances, and Miss Sally is not one of those who think new friendsare best. "

"I was coming again to-night, " said Eliph'. "Perhaps I'd better not sayanything to-night. Perhaps I had better wait until to-morrow. "

"Wait until next month, or next year, " advised Mrs. Smith. "There is nohurry. Something may turn up. "

CHAPTER XIV. Something Turns Up

Something turned up the very next day. It turned all Kilo upside down asnothing had for years, and created such a demand for the TIMES that J. T. Jones had to print an extra edition of sixty copies, and he wouldhave printed ten more if his press had not broken down. 

Across two columns--the TIMES never used over one column headlinesexcept for the elections--blazed the work "GRAFT, " and beneath, in but asize or two smaller, stared the "sub-head" "OFFICIAL OF KILO CORRUPTED. CITIZENS' PARTY ROTTEN TO THE CORE. PROMINENT CITIZEN IMPLICATED. "Beneath this followed the moral of it, "The City, as Predicted inThese Columns, Suffers for Departing from The Beneficent Rule of theRepublican Party. "

Attorney Toole was sitting in his office when the boy from the TIMESdelivered the paper to him. He smiled as he opened the damp sheet, forhe extracted more amusement than news from the little paper, but as heturned it the headlines caught his eye, and instantly he was deep inthe columns. Someone had sprung his mine before he had intended--ithad exploded prematurely and with, what seemed to him, as he read on, afutile insipidity. 

There were full two columns of it. There were hints and innuendoes, toowell veiled, but no names mentioned. The specific act of graft was notbrought to the surface. It was as if the writer had a "spread" ofsome vaguely uncertain rumor, and yet there was not doubt that ColonelGuthrie and Mayor Stitz and the fire-extinguishers were meant. Theattorney could see that, and he had an idea that the writer had meantto tell more than he really did tell. The veiled allusions were sothoroughly veiled in words that they were buried as if under mountainsof veils. Each slight hint was swamped in morasses of quotations andfine flourishes, overgrown and hidden by tropical verbiage, and coveredup by philosophical and political phrases until nothing of the hintcould be seen. As he read on the attorney could see Doc Weaver talking, as plainly as if he stood before him; he could see him at his desk ina frenzy of composition, and he recognized the apt quotations fromShakespeare that were Doc's specialty. Doc Weaver had written it. 

The attorney laid the paper down and studied the matter. How could Dochave learned of the affair? Skinner, angry as he had been at having tobuy the four fire-extinguishers, would never have dared to wreck theparty he had helped to create. The Colonel would have been no such fool. Stitz? He would hardly accuse himself. Who then?

One passage set the attorney thinking again as he re-read the article. "'Thinks are seldom what they seem, ' as the poet says, which is as trueas that 'Honesty is the best policy. ' And as Shakespeare says, 'Towhat base ends, ' for all this disreputable graft centers around certainbrilliant objects that are not what the guilty bribers and bribeessuppose them to be. While we shudder with horror at the temerity of thesinners we shake with laughter as we think of their faces as they willbe when they realize that they are mortals to whom the immortal bardrefers when he enunciates the truth, 'What fools these mortals be!'"

"Certain brilliant objects" could mean nothing but the lung-testers. Eliph' Hewlitt had that secret, and Eliph' Hewlitt boarded with DocWeaver. The attorney felt a sudden rush of anger. It was to thisintermeddling book agent, then, that he owed the premature explosion ofthe mine that was to have blown the Citizens' Party to fragments, and tohave landed the fragments in the basket held ready by Attorney Toole?

The distribution of that week's TIMES acted like a tonic on the townstreets. New life followed in the wake of the boy as he carried thepaper from door to door. It began at the corner of Main and CrossStreets, and as the boy proceeded, the merchants, the loafers, and thecustomers came from the stores and gathered in knots that formed quicklyand dissolved again as the parts passed from one group to another, questioning, arguing, and guessing. The attorney looked out of hiswindow. Across the street he could see the office of the TIMES, and T. J. Already besieged by questioners, to whom he was evidently giving akind but decided refusal of further information. The editor was wavingthem away with his hands. Some of the editor's visitors handed T. J. Money, and carried away copies of the TIMES, but all went, gentlyurged by the editor, and joined one or another of the groups below. Theattorney drew on his coat. He would postpone his interview with Eliph'Hewlitt; Thomas Jefferson Jones was the man he wanted to see at thatmoment. 

It was difficult for the attorney to retain his enigmatical smiles ashe climbed the stairs to the TIMES office. He was angry, but he knew thevalue of that irritating smile that hinted superiority and a knowledgeof hidden details. He needed it in his talk with the editor. 

It is odd how common interests will bring men together. And sometimeshow common interests will not. The attorney and the editor had been asone man in polite attentions to Susan Bell, Mrs. Smith's protégée, atfirst, but as their acquaintance with her grew they seemed to like eachother less. They no longer consulted each other on the best methods ofbringing Republican rule back to Kilo. They did not consult togetherat all. The attorney coldly ignored the editor, and his irritation, beginning in this rivalry, was increased by the growing suspicion thatthe editor dared look toward the leadership of the Republican party inKilo. 

It all angered the attorney. What right had a country editor to competewith a man of talent, with a member of the bar, with Attorney Toole? Wasthis the thanks a rising lawyer should receive for leaving the superiorculture of Franklin and bringing his talents to add luster to the bleakunimportance of Kilo? The very impertinence of it angered him. Toole, a man whose name would one day ring in the hall of Congress and perhapsstand at the head of the nation's officers as chief executive, to bebothered by the interference of a Jones! By the interference of a manwho spent his time collecting news of measles and hog cholera! It wasabout time T. J. Jones was told a few things. 

As Toole entered the printing office T. J. Was handing a copy of theTIMES to a customer, and the editor turned, and, seeing who his visitorwas, held up his hand playfully. 

"No use!" he exclaimed. "I can't say anything about it, except what'sin the paper. Contributed article, and the editor sworn to silence, youknow. "

The attorney seated himself on the editor's desk, pushing a pile ofpapers out of his way. 

"That's all right, Jones, " he said. "That's for the"--he waved his handtoward the window--"for the fellow citizens; for the populace. This isbetween ourselves. "

"I'd like to, " said Jones, "but really, I can't say anything about it. Ipromised faithfully I would not betray my contributor's confidence. "

"Now, do I look so green as that?" asked Toole. "Nonsense! Doc Weaverwrote that rot. " He smiled. "He spread himself, didn't he?"

The editor remained motionless. 

"I have nothing whatever to say, " he remarked, noncommittally. 

"Well, I have!" cried the attorney. "I'll tell you that it is poor workfor you to steal my thunder and attempt to use it without consultingme! It is poor work, and mean work. You want to be boss of this partyin Kilo county, that's what you want. And you haven't the capacity. Youhave proved it right here, right here in this silly sheet of yours. You hit on a big thing, and you spoil it. You are so anxious that Tooleshall get no credit that you rush it into print and make a fizzle of it. I know who the traitors to the party are--you are one. Doc Weaver withhis elegant style and his Shakespeare is another. And that miserableintermeddling little book agent is another. You make me sick. "

The editor stood like a statue, and his face was as white. The attorneydropped his words slowly from lips that still wore the tantalizingsmile. 

"The childishness amuses me, " said the attorney. "It makes me smile. Whydidn't you give names, since you had them? Why didn't you tell it all, and do the party some good, as well as doing me some harm, if that waswhat you were after--and I don't know what you were after if it wasn'tthat? Why don't you get a schoolboy to edit your paper for you?"

T. J. Ground his nails into the palms of his hands. He meant to retainpossession of his temper, but it was boiling within. He said nothing asthe attorney indolently arose from his seat on the desk; he was resolvedto do nothing, but when the attorney brushed against him in passing, turning his superior smile full in his face, he raised his arm. The nextmoment the two men were lying beside the press, struggling and gasping, locked fast and fighting for advantage, legs intertwined and eachgrasping the other by a wrist. The editor was on top, but the heavierattorney was working with the energy of hate, and as they panted andstruggled the door opened and Eliph' Hewlitt entered. 

There was strength in his wiry arms, and he threw himself upon the upperman and dragged him backward. The attorney loosened his hold and the twomen stood up, panting and gulping, and soon began to brush their clothesand look at the floor for dropped articles, as men do who have foughtinconclusively and are not sorry to have been parted. The only realdamage seemed to have been done to Eliph's spectacles, which he hadshaken off in his efforts, and which had been crushed beneath a heel. The attorney presently smiled, but it was a silly smile, and then hewent out of the door and down the street. 

Eliph' coughed gently behind his hand, as if to excuse his intrusion. 

"Quarreling?" he suggested. "I used to wrestle some when I was a boy. But not much. I hadn't then the rules, given on page 554 of Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, including "How to Wrestle, How to Defend Oneself Against Sudden Attack, Jui Jitsu, " et cetery, with wood cuts showing the best holds and howto get them. All this being but one of one thousand and one subjectstreated of in this work, the price of which is but five dollars, neatlybound in cloth. "

The editor had turned his back and was staring angrily out of thewindow--sulkily tremulous would be a better description, perhaps--whenhe suddenly cried out. Eliph' searched hurriedly in his pockets foranother pair of spectacles, found them and put them on, and looked wherethe editor pointed. Across the street the attorney, backed up againstthe wall of the bank, was defending his face with one arm, and with hisright hand seeking to grasp a ship that was raining blows upon his faceand head. Someone grasped the whip from behind and wrenched it from thehand of the attorney's assailant, and as the man turned angrily, the twoin the window saw that it was Colonel Guthrie. 

They heard him cursing those who had taken the ship from him, ending byloudly justifying himself for what he had done to the attorney, and sawthe attorney step forward to quell the Colonel's hot words. The Colonelput up both his hands and shouted, and some from the crowd, graspingthe attorney about the waist and arms, as if the feared he was about toattack the older man, hurried him away, speaking soothing words to him. 

The Colonel rioted on. Nothing could have stopped him. He pulled a copyof the TIMES from his pocket and slapped it with his hand as he abusedthe attorney for having given T. J. Jones the facts of the article. 

He lit it be plainly known, in his anger, that the article called hima giver of graft. The crowd stood silent, as crowds stand about somedrunken man, for the Colonel was drunk with wrath, and wordy with it, talking to himself as drunken men do. He finished, and the crowd openeda passage through itself to let him pass, and Skinner, who, in apron andbare arms, had viewed his rival's wrath from a safe place on the edge ofthe group, backed away. The Colonel, mumbling, caught sight of him, andwith one swift motion of the arm grasped him by the shirt band. 

"You!" he shouted, pulling the shirt band until Skinner grew purplein the face. "You! You done it! Why couldn't you buy themfire-extinguishers like a man? You made me buy up that Dutchman. Iwouldn't 'a' had to do it but for you. "

He gave the choking butcher an extra shake, and raised his hand tostrike him, but again the crowd interfered, and seized the Colonel, andhurried him away. 

The butcher stood stupidly and rubbed his neck, waiting for the witsthat had been choked out of him to return, and far down the street MayorStitz, hearing a noise, came out on his front platform and looked up thestreet. It appeared to him that something was going on, and sticking hisawl in the door of his car, he walked blandly up the street to where theremnant of the crowd formed a half circle around the butcher. He crowdedthrough, saying, "Look out, the mayor is coming. Stand one side yet forthe mayor!"

The butcher looked and saw before him the round, innocent face of themayor, topped by the mayor's round bald head. He raised his large, fathand, and in vent for all his injured feelings brought it down, smack!On the smooth bald spot. 

"Ouw-etch!" said the mayor. 

He was surprised. He backed away and rubbed the top of his head, and what he said next was a rapid string of real, genuine German;exclamations, compound tenses, and irregular verbs and all that makesGerman a useful, forceful language. As long as he rubbed his head--witha rotary motion--he spoke German; then he stopped rubbing and spokeEnglish. 

"So is it you treat your mayor!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Such a townis Kilo, to give mayors a klop on the head! Donnerblitzenvetter! Not sois it in Germany. " He turned to the crowd. "A klop on the head! It isnot for klops on the head that I am mayor. No. I resign out of thismayor business. Go get another mayor, such as likes klops on the head. Iam no mayor. I am resigned. "

He turned and walked slowly back to his car, pulled the awl out of thedoor, and went inside. 

The editor moved away from the window. He seated himself at his desk andleaned his head on his arms and thought. 

"Headache?" asked Eliph'. 

"No, " said the editor, lifting his head. "I'm trying to think this thingout. Guthrie is in it, and Skinner must be in it, and Stitz. And thatfellow across the way said you knew something about it, and he said DocWeaver wrote the article. No, " he added hastily, as Eliph' offered tospeak, "let me think it out myself. "

He leaned his head on his hand, and gazed at the attorney's office. Hedrew the week's copy of the TIMES toward him and read over the articlethat had caused all the trouble. 

"It might be that fire-extinguishers ordinance, " he said slowly. "Stitzpushed that through. And Skinner had to buy them. And--they were ownedby Miss Briggs and the Colonel negotiated the sale. " He jumped upand turned over the file of back numbers of the TIMES. He found theannouncement he had made of the arrival of Eliph', and the report ofthe meeting of the city council that had passed the fire-extinguishersordinance. Eliph' had been in town before the ordinance had passed. Eliph' boarded now with Doc Weaver. Again he read the article in theTIMES, seeking for the meanings that Doc knew so well how to hide. Hepaused at the "Things are seldom what they seem" lines, and consideredit. Suddenly he arose and put on his hat. 

"Wait here, " he said, "I'll be back. "

When he returned he was smiling. He had visited Skinner's Opera Houseand had examined the fire-extinguishers where they sat, each on itsbracket. 

"Hewlitt, " he said, "when you told Doc about the fire-extinguishers didyou tell him they were lung-testers?"

The little book agent stared at the editor. 

"I never told, " he exclaimed. "I have never said a word to Doc Weaver, nor to anyone about them. Not a word. I have kept it as sacred as thesecret of the Man in the Iron Mask, a full account of whom, togetherwith a wood cut, is given on page 231, together with 'All the World'sFamous Mysteries, ' this being but one feature of Jarby's----"

"All right, " said the editor. "And you never told him about the graft?"

The blank amazement on the book agent's face was sufficient answer. 

"I've got to go out, " said the editor. "I've got some reporting to do. You'll excuse me. I want to see Stitz. And Skinner. And Guthrie. I wishDoc hadn't gone to his State Medical Society meeting to-day. "

Eliph' went out with the editor, who locked the door behind him. 

"Don't say anything, " said the editor, "but I think there will be anextra edition of the TIMES out to-morrow. "

CHAPTER XV. Difficulties

Eliph' had said nothing to Doc Weaver about the affair of thefire-extinguishers, he had known nothing of the graft matter, and yetit could not be supposed that Doc Weaver could be a confidant of theattorney's. The editor was puzzled, but he was sure he was right inthe main, and he was nearer learning the truth than he supposed, as hehurried down the street to the mayor's car-cobbler shop. 

He opened the door and stepped inside, but the mayor did not look upwith his usual smile; he was sulking, and from time to time he rubbedhis head where the butcher had struck him. 

"How do, Stitz, " said the editor. "How's the mayor?"

The cobbler pulled his waxed threads angrily through a tough bit ofleather, and did not look up. 

"I am no more a mayor, " he said crossly. "I am out of that mayor job. Igive him up. I haf been insulted. "

"I saw it, " the editor assured him. "He gave you a good whack. Sounded like a wet plank falling on a marble slab. Mad about thefire-extinguishers business, wasn't he?"

"And why?" asked the mayor, looking up for the first time, "he has aright to obey those ordinances and not get mad. "

"Oh, but he don't like the way folks will laugh at him when they learnthe joke you have played on him. That was a good one. "

"Joke?" queried the mayor, growing brighter. "Did I play him one joke?"

"You know, " said T. J. "Making him buy those lung-testers of MissBriggs' when he thought they were fire-extinguishers. I should say itWAS a joke!"

"Sit down, " said the mayor; "don't hang on those straps when seats isenough and plenty. Sit down. So I joked him, yes?"

"Rather, " said the editor, "and Guthrie, too, making him pay thatgraft. "

"Sure!" grinned the cobbler. "I got goot grafts. Apples, and potatoes, and celery, and peas, and chickens! Five grafts for one such littleordinances. Grafts is a good business, but now is all over. I quit methat boss-grafter job. I like me not such kloppings on the head. Nextcomes such riots, and revolutionings. I quit first. " He sewed steadilyfor a while then prepared another thread, waxing it, and twisting thebristle on either end. 

"That fire-extinguishers joke, " he said, as he ran the ball of wax upand down the thread; "that was a good one, yes? On Skinner. That makesme a revenge on Skinner for such a klop on the head, yes?"

He adjusted the shoe on his knee, and began to sew again. 

"Yes, " he said, "I am glad I make that joke on Skinner. What was it?"

"Come now!" said T. J. "Don't pretend such innocence, Stitz. Don't tryto fool ME. You knew all the time that those fire-extinguishers werenothing but lung-testers. " The mayor looked puzzled, and properly, for he had never heard of lung-testers. "To test lungs, " explained theeditor. "To show how many pounds a man can blow; how much wind his lungswill hold; a sort of game, like pitching horseshoes. They are not worthanything to Skinner. He paid his money for them for nothing. He willhave to buy four genuine fire-extinguishers now. That was what made himmad at you. "

When the editor left Stitz's car he had learned all the mayor couldtell him, including the undoubted fact that the mayor considered grafta quite legitimate operation, and this particular case a good joke onSkinner and Colonel Guthrie, and that the mayor himself, thinking thejoke too good to keep, had told Doc Weaver. The editor easily guessedthat Doc had investigated the rest of the affair, and had seen thefire-extinguishers and known them to be not what they seemed. He hurriedback to his office to set in type what he had learned. 

But others were abroad, too. Attorney Toole, watching the editor, hadseen him enter the cobbler-car and leave it again, and he easily guessedthe object of the editor's visit. He, too, went to see Stitz, and had along and confidential talk with him, first frightening him until he wasin a collapse, and then offering him immunity and safety, and at lengthleaving him in a perspiration of gratitude. He held up to him a visionof the penitentiary as the reward of grafting, and when the mayor wassufficiently wilted, rebraced him by promising to defend him, whateverhappened, and finally restored him to complacency by showing him thatthe transaction was not graft at all. When he parted from the mayor, that official was, as opposition papers put it, "a creature of theattorney's. "

The attorney found Skinner in his butcher-shop surrounded by a group offriends, to whom he was relating a story of how he had been attacked bythe Colonel, and what would have happened to the Colonel if interventionhad not come just when it did. Toole entered briskly and pushed his waythrough the group to where the butcher stood. 

"Skinner, " he said, "I want half a dozen words with you, at once, " andhis manner was enough to silence the butcher. Skinner led the way to theback room where the sausage machine made its home, and Toole carefullyclosed the door. 

"Now, " he said, taking the butcher by the shirtsleeve, " you have had ataste of what comes of taking the political lead away from the partyto which it rightly belongs. You have had an experience of what happenswhen people who know nothing about politics meddle with thing thatthe natural political leaders should be left to handle. You have beenchoked, and you have been cheated, and you deserve to be kicked. Youpay money to this editor her in town, for an advertisement that you knowdoes you no good, and in return he prints an article to make you laughedat. You form a combination with Guthrie to put in outsiders instead ofgood party men, and Guthrie uses his pull to have an ordinance passed tomake you spend money for fire-extinguishers. You elect a mayor, by yourinfluence as a leading citizen, and he takes a bribe from Guthrie, andpasses an ordinance to rob you. And you, like a fool, let him do it. Andyou let Guthrie, that he may stand in solidly with the very woman youhave your eye on, sell you--what? Fire-extinguishers? Not much! Notfire-extinguishers at all, but useless, no-account lung-testers!Lung-testers, that he makes you pay one hundred dollars for, and thatyou will have to throw away. That is what they are, lung-testers, and you can pocket a loss of one hundred dollars, and buy four realfire-extinguishers now, as the ordinance tells you, and makes you!"

The butcher's mouth opened and his eyes stared. He felt weakly behindhim for the edge of the table, pawing uncertainly in the air. 

"That's all I have to say to YOU, " said the attorney. "If you like thatkind of thing, you are welcome. If you are willing to be cheated it isnothing to me. I don't say T. J. Jones set them up to doing all this, just to throw down your Citizen's Party, but you can see in the TIMESwho printed the whole thing. If you like to have that kind of man runyour only public journal it is no business of mine, but look out for thenext TIMES!"

The butcher had found the edge of the table and was leaning back againstit. The attorney paused with his hand on the door. 

"You ought to be able to make the Colonel pay you back that hundreddollars, " he said. "It looks as if he had obtained money under falsepretenses and given a bribe. But if you don't care, I don't, " and hewent out. 

Outside of the butcher shop the attorney stopped and looked up and downthe street, smiling. He felt that he had done well, so far, setting boththe mayor and Skinner against the editor, making a tool of the mayor, and inflaming the butcher against the Colonel. He would have liked togo to the Colonel and set him against the editor and Skinner, but heneither dared nor felt it really necessary. If Skinner attempted to makethe Colonel take back the lung-testers the ill feeling between thetwo would be sufficiently emphasized, and no doubt the Colonel hadsufficient reason, in the publication of the article, to hate theeditor. 

Horsewhipped! His face reddened as he thought of it, but he was toopolite to consider a revenge of fists, which would not lessen theinsult of the whipping he had received, but would only add the stigmaof attacking an older man. That he had led the Colonel into the affair, putting him up to it, did not strike him as being any excuse for theColonel. He felt that he had done only what he was entitled to do in thepursuit of political leadership. He would revenge himself on theColonel later. A suit for damages for assault, timed to precede the nextelection, would be both revenge and politics. He could, at the moment, think of nothing else to do to undermine his opponents, and he hadturned toward his office when a fresh idea occurred to him. ShouldMiss Sally take back the lung-testers, where then would his case stand?Guthrie would return the hundred dollars to Skinner. Skinner was foolenough to be satisfied with that, and Kilo, like many other towns, notwishing to besmirch herself, would hush up the whole affair. Miss Sallymust not take back the lung-testers. 

The attorney swung around and walked briskly toward Miss Sally's home, tossing tumultuously in his mind the events of the day, his plans andwhat he would say to Miss Sally. As he turned in at the gate he sawMrs. Smith and Susan sitting on the porch, and he took off his hat, andwalked smilingly up to them. 

"Miss Sally in?" he asked, after the customary greetings. "I would liketo speak to her if she is. "

"She's in" said Mrs. Smith, "but she is engaged at present. Won't youhave a seat and wait?"

Toole passed rapidly through his mind all those who might have businesswith Miss Sally this morning--the Colonel, Skinner, the editor. It couldnot be Skinner, for he had just left him, nor the editor, for he knew hewas still in his office where he had seen him last. Probably it was theColonel. He took the proffered seat. 

"I suppose you saw the TIMES, " he said, "and that tremendous article. It amused me considerably. Splendid specimen of local journalism. Ourfriend T. J. Is to be congratulated, isn't he? He has made quite astir. "

"The Colonel was here with a paper, " said Mrs. Smith. "He was furiouslyangry. I couldn't understand what it was all about, except that it wasconnected with those fire-extinguishers Miss Sally had. "

"It was about the meanest piece of business I have ever run across, "said the attorney, speaking more to Susan than to Mrs. Smith. "It wasthe most vindictive thing I ever heard of. Do you know any reason whythat editor should want to annoy Miss Briggs?"

"Mr. Jones annoy Miss Sally?" said Susan, with surprise. "I can'timagine why he should. "

"That's what puzzles me, " said Toole. "There doesn't seem to be anyreason whatever, except that he is showing his ill-will. It looks like aconspiracy to throw those fire-extinguishers back on Miss Sally's hands. Probably he has taken an agency for fire-extinguishers, or had made adeal to take some in payment for advertising space in his paper, andwants to sell them to Skinner. I understand there is some cock-and-bullstory he has got up about these fire-extinguishers being out-of-date, oruseless, or something of that kind, and that he means to make a big stirabout the council having been bribed to force them on Skinner. I supposeJones will get something out of it, someway. I understand he means tokeep the thing alive in his paper, and throw ridicule on all concerned, until he forces things his way. Probably he has some political object, too. But I think it is bad that he should drag Miss Sally into it. I don't mind his trying to throw mud on me. I can see his reason forthat. "

He looked at Susan and smiled. 

"I don't understand, " said Mrs. Smith, "I couldn't see that he saidanything about you this morning. "

"Not this morning, " said the attorney. "There will be more to follow. Wait until you see the next issue of the representative of a free anduntrammeled press. He will serve up all his friends there. I saw himdarting around like a hawk-eyed reporter this morning. I went up toplead with him to drop the whole thing, this morning, but he as much astold me to mind my own business. The poor old Colonel was so angryhe came at me with a whip--I don't know why--but I did not take theadvantage my strength gave me. I can forgive a man who is anger blinded. All I want to do now is to prevent that editor fellow making any moretrouble for my friends, if I can. I don't want Miss Sally to TAKE backthose fire-extinguishers, and I don't want her to be blackmailed intoBUYING them back. I want to put her on her guard against T. J. Jones. "

"This is very kind of you, " said Mrs. Smith. 

"She is a friend of yours, and of Miss Susan's, " said the attorney. "That would be reason enough for my doing it. "

The door opened and Eliph' Hewlitt came out of the house, and Toole, whohad jumped up, in order to be on the defensive had it been the Colonel, assumed an air of indifference. The book agent hesitated uncertainly, glanced toward Mrs. Smith, felt under his left arm where his sample copyusually reposed, and, not finding it, put on his hat and walked towardthe gate. Mrs. Smith sprang from her chair and ran after him. She caughthim at the gate and laid her hand on his arm. He turned to face her, andshe saw that there were tears in his usually clear eyes. He had put thequestion to Miss Sally, and the answer had been unfavorable. 

The interview had been short and conducted with the utmost propriety, as advised by "Courtship--How to Win the Affections, " and Miss Sally hadbeen kind but firm. The article in the TIMES had, far from turning heragainst the Colonel, shown her what the Colonel has risked for her sake, and she had decided in his favor, although he had not yet appeared toclaim an answer to the question he had never asked, but had been hintingfor years. 

CHAPTER XVI. Two Lovers, and a Third

The attorney, when Eliph' walked down the path to the gate, entered thehouse, and found Miss Sally still sitting in the dark parlor where shehad had the painful interview with Eliph' Hewlitt. She still held herhandkerchief to her eyes, for she had been weeping, and the attorney wasnot sorry to see this evidence of the stress of her interview with thebook agent. Certain that Eliph' had told Doc Weaver of the lung-testers, he was no less certain that the book agent had been telling Miss Sallythat the nickel-plated affairs would be thrown back on her hands, and hehastened to urge resistance. 

"Miss Briggs, " he said, "I came right in, because I knew what that bookagent was here to say to you, and I wanted to warn you against him. Iknow what he asked, and I hope you refuse him. "

Miss Sally gasped. 

"I believe, " continued the attorney, taking a seat, "that you refused, because you know which side your bread is buttered on. I believe thatbefore the day is over Colonel Guthrie will come with the same question, and I want you to give him the same answer. And if Skinner should comeon his knees, I want you to send him away with the same answer, too. They will all have arguments enough, but don't be fooled. They money isall they want. "

Miss Sally gasped again. She was astounded. 

"I could see, " said the attorney, confidentially, "that you have thebook agent a pretty sharp answer, and that was right. He had no businessto put himself forward at all, and I don't suppose you can guess why hedid. "

"He said he liked me, " said Miss Sally weakly, ashamed to mention theword openly. The attorney laughed. 

"My opinion is that it is an conspiracy, " he said. "That is just theword, a conspiracy, and T. J. Jones is at the head of it. The book agenthas come first; now the Colonel will come; and then Skinner, all askingthe same thing, but my idea is that they are all in partnership, andthat Jones is engineering the whole thing. They want your money, andthat is all they want, and once they get it they will be happy and youwill be left with four lung-testers on your hands. "

Even in Kilo slang comes and goes as in the rest of the world and MissSally was not sure about the word "lung-tester. " It had a slangy sound, and it must be a term of reproach applied to the future value of thefour men Toole had mentioned. She accepted it as such. 

"All I have to say, " continued the attorney, "is to refuse the Colonel, and to refuse Skinner if he comes, just as you have refused this bookagent. Stick up for your rights. If they want to sue you, let them sue. You have the money now, and it is better to have that than a lot ofgood-for-nothing lung-testers. Once you get them on your hands you'llnever get rid of them. "

He arose and took up his hat. 

"That is all I have to say, " he said, "but I wanted to let you know whatyou ought to do. Don't mind if there is a lot of stuff published in theTIMES. You have to expect that, and Jones will probably drag yourname into it, in connection with the Colonel and Skinner, but you areperfectly innocent and they can do nothing to you. "

He went out, and Miss Sally remained in a daze, looking at the doorby which he had gone. She was still looking at it helplessly when Mrs. Tarbro-Smith came in with a swish of skirts and put her arm gently abouther. 

"DO you think you did what your heart told you to do, dear?" asked thelady from New York, kissing Miss Sally on the brow. "He was SO downcast. I really pitied him, poor man. "

Miss Sally threw her arms around Mrs. Smith's waist and hit her facein the lacy softness of her gown, and wept. The authoress smoothed thebrown hair and waited patiently for the tears to cease. 

"Did you see Mr. Toole?" she asked brightly, to ease Miss Sally'sweeping and to turn her thought to other things. "He wanted to see youabout those fire-extinguishers. But I don't trust him. I think he hassome plan or other that is selfish. I think he had been drinking. "

Miss Sally's tears ceased, and she sat up, straight and severe. 

"Fire-extinguishers?" she asked quickly. 

"Yes, " said Mrs. Smith; "he seemed to think Skinner or the Colonelor someone would want you to take them back. And return the money, Isuppose. "

"The money?" echoed Miss Sally slowly. She blushed as she saw that shehad misunderstood the attorney, thinking he had dared to advise in herlove matters, and then she frowned. "The money?" she repeated. "ButI gave that money to pa. Pa won't ever give that money back, never! Idon't know where on earth I'd ever get sixty dollars. "

As she spoke she heard someone on the walk, and then the heavy feet ofthe Colonel climbing the porch steps. She heard him ask Susan if MissSally was inside, and heard the girl answer that she was, and she heldMrs. Smith's hand tighter. 

"Come in, " she called, to the knock on the door, and the Colonel stumpedinto the room. He was hot and angry, so angry that he did not stop tooffer his usual curt greetings. 

"Look here, " he said, by way of introduction, "you an' yourfire-extinguishers has got me into a purty fix, Sally Briggs--a blamepurty fix-an' I want to know do you intend to git me out or not? I don'twant no foolishness. Skinner is after me an' I've got to pay him backthem sixty dollars, or somebody'll go to jail for it. You ought to haveknowed them wasn't nothin' but lung-testers, afore you set me up tosellin' 'em to Skinner, an' not let me go an' make a 'tarnal fool outof myself. But that ain't the thing now; the thing is, will you payback them sixty dollars? I guess you'd better do it, an' do it quick. Skinner'll have the law on ye if ye don't. "

Miss Sally drew back toward Mrs. Smith as he scowled at her. 

"Now, you git them sixty dollars an' hand 'em over to me, that'swhat you'd better do, " said the Colonel. "I want to git shut of thisbusiness. I was a fool fer meddlin' in a woman's affairs in the fustplace. I don't want to have no more hand in it. You git me that money, an' let me fix it up with Skinner. He's mad, an' he won't stand nofoolin'. It was all I could do to keep him from comin' in an' makin' arow right here in the house. He's waitin' at the gate till he sees if Igit the money, an' if I don't----"

"But I haven't got sixty dollars, " Miss Sally gasped. "I gave that moneyto pa. I don't know whether I can GET sixty dollars out of pa. "

She was so helpless that Mrs. Smith's blood boiled at the rude brutalityof the Colonel, and she stepped forward and faced him. 

"What is all this about?" she asked. "What is the matter with thosefire-extinguishers? Why do you come bothering Miss Sally this way? Whydon't you settle it with Mr. Skinner yourself?"

"The matter is, them ain't fire-extinguishers at all, " said the Colonelrudely, "an' wasn't, an' never was. Them things is lung-testers, an'Sally was cheatin' Skinner when she sold 'em to him. An' the reason I'mbotherin' her is that she got the money fer 'em, an' she's got to findit somehow an' pay it back. An' as for me settlin' with Skinner, I ain'tgot nothin' to do with it. I wasn't nothin' but Sally's agent. I doneher a favor, an' that's all, an' I'm sorry I ever meddled in it. "

"But there certainly can't be such haste needed, " said Mrs. Smith. "MissSally is not going to run away. Mr. Skinner is not going to fail forwant of sixty dollars, is he? You can wait until to-morrow, or to-night, when Miss Sally can see her father. "

"No, I can't, " said the Colonel doggedly. "I can't wait at all. Byto-morrow mornin' that newspaper feller will have another paper printedup, an' I hear tell he's goin' to give us all plain names, an' I ain'tgoin' to wait. I want to git this thing fixed up right now. If Sallyain't got sixty dollars, let her go borry it. I got to pay Skinner rightnow, an' I want Sally to pay me. I want to git shut of this. "

"I don't believe Mr. Skinner is in any such hurry as you pretend!"exclaimed Mrs. Smith. "I don't believe he is so ungenerous. I believe heis more chivalrous, I believe HE will have some manliness, if you havenot. "

She started for the door, but the Colonel grasped her by the arm. 

"Hold on, here!" he said, but Mrs. Tarbro-Smith merely raised hereyebrows and looked, first at his hand on her arm, and then at his face, and his hand fell. He stood irresolute and uncomfortable as she went tothe door and called to Mr. Skinner. The butcher walked up to the door, clearing his throat as he came. Mrs. Smith held the screen door widefor him to enter, and he walked into the parlor, holding his hat in hishands, and stood uneasily. 

"The Colonel, " said Mrs. Smith pleasantly, "has told us you wishMiss Sally to return the money you paid for what she supposed werefire-extinguishers. "

"They was nothin' but lung-testers, " said the butcher. 

"So it seems, " said Mrs. Smith, "and it is odd that a man of businesslike yourself should not know it in the first place. But of courseMiss Sally did not know what they were. Who told you they werefire-extinguishers, Sally?"

"The Colonel, " said Miss Sally, and the Colonel moved his feet uneasily. 

"Indeed!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith, giving the Colonel another of herparalyzing glances. "But Miss Sally will do whatever is right. Shehasn't the money at this moment. You can wait until to-morrow for thesixty dollars, can you not, until she can see her father?"

The butcher grew red in the face, redder than his naturally highcoloring, but he shook his head. 

"I want it now, " he said. "Business is business. " And after a moment headded, "It wasn't sixty, it was one hundred. Four at twenty-five, that'sone hundred. One hundred dollars, that was what I handed Guthrie. I paidone hundred and I want one hundred back. "

Miss Sally and Mrs. Smith looked at the Colonel. 

"I had a right to make a commission, " he blustered. "I ain't no sichfool as to do business fer other folks an' lose time by it. I took out acommission, an' I had a right to, an' I don't want to hear no more aboutit. A commission's fair. "

"You didn't say anything about it, " said poor Miss Sally. "Mrs. Smithwas just surprised to learn of it. "

"Surprised, my dear?" said Mrs. Smith, "No, indeed. Nothing that manwould do could quite surprise me. But forty percent commission! MissSally hasn't sixty dollars in the house, " she added, turning to thebutcher. "You know very well people here don't have so much in the houseat one time. If I had it I would gladly lend it to her, but I don'thappen to have so much with me to-day. You can wait until Mr. Briggsgets back from Clarence, or you can do what you please. "

"I want the money, " said Skinner doggedly. 

"Very well, " said Mrs. Smith. "Collect forty from the Colonel. That willkeep you from starving until to-morrow. And now will you both kindlyleave the house?"

"Now, look here, Mrs. Smith, ma'm, " said the butcher. "You ain't got anyright to talk that way to me. Money matters is money matters, and a manhas a right to look after his own the best way he can. I was cheatedout of one hundred dollars by this man and Miss Sally, as easy as youplease, and there's bribery in it, and land knows what. But I ain'tmean. All I want is my money back, and I want it now. I hear T. J. Jonesis going to get out an extry to-morrow morning all about this, and allI want is to do what is right. Hand me back my hundred dollars, and I'llgo to T. J. And explain that Miss Sally did what was right, and tell himto leave her out of what he writes, but if I don't get the money I won'tsay a word to him. He can guess all he wants about Miss Sally and theColonel being in cahoots with this bribe business. All I want is mymoney. "

"But I say you shall have it in the morning. "

"Well, I don't count much on what you'll get out of Pap Briggs. Youmight get ten cents, if he was feeling liberal, but he don't usuallyfeel that way. What I want is one hundred dollars right now. I don'tneed no lung-testers, and I've been cheated, and I won't wait. If MissSally ain't going to pay me, I'll see what the law says about it. "

"Mr. Skinner, " said Mrs. Smith, "in consideration that Miss Sally is alady and that you are a gentleman, will you not wait till to-morrow?"

"Business is business, " he said flatly. "When I'm sellin' meat I ain't agentleman, I'm a butcher; and when Miss Briggs was sellin' lung-testersshe wasn't a lady, she was in business. Business is one thing an' bein'pleasant is another. I've got to look after my money or I soon won'thave any. "

When the two men went out Mrs. Smith could hear them begin to wrangleeven before they quitted the yard, but she was more interested in whatmight happen to Miss Sally through the vindictiveness of the butcher. She was surprised to hear that T. J. Jones had even thought of such athing as bringing Miss Sally's name into the matter as a conspirator, and she did not know enough about Iowa laws to know whether the butchercould take any summary action or not. The most satisfactory way tostraighten things out would be to pay the butcher, but it must be doneat once. She pleaded with Miss Sally to remember someone of whom shecould borrow sixty dollars, but Miss Sally confessed that she knew noone who would be apt to lend so much. She even expressed her doubt thather father would ever release the money she had given him. The two womensat in the darkened parlor, Miss Sally weeping softly and Mrs. Smiththinking hard. The authoress was ashamed that she could devise no way toaid her friend, and there they sat, exchanging a brief word from timeto time, and the gloom deepening every minute. Presently, when theatmosphere was so charged with sadness that it was almost too thick tobreathe, Mrs. Smith called to Susan, and the girl came in. 

"Sue, " said Mrs. Smith, "will you run down to the TIMES office and seeMr. Jones? And--let me see--and tell him I very much want to see himbefore he begins to print his extra. You won't mind, will you?"

"Oh, no, " said Susan cheerfully, and she went, a fairy in filmy white, while the two women relapsed into gloom again. 

So softly did the next comer mount the porch stairs that the two womendid not hear him until a gentle tap on the door frame, followed by anapologetic cough, announced the return of Eliph' Hewlitt. 

CHAPTER XVII. According to Jarby's

When Eliph' Hewlitt, sad at heart, departed from his disastrousinterview with Miss Sally, he felt, for the first time in his life, adoubt as to the infallibility of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledgeand Compendium of Literature, Science and Art. Here was a book he hadpraised, sold and believed, and it had failed him. Here was a book thatwas proclaimed, in the "Advice to Agents, " to be so simply written andso easy of understanding that a child could follow its directionsas well as a man, and it had only led him to defeat. He had courtedaccording to "Courtship"; he had tried to win the affections accordingto "How to Win" them, and instead of the "Yes" that Jarby's book led himto believe he would receive, he had been given a "No. " This, then, wasthe book whose success he had made his life work! Caesar, when hesaw Brutus draw his dagger, was wounded no more in spirit than Eliph'Hewlitt was now. 

The world seemed to slip from beneath his feet; his firmest foundationseemed to have crumbled away; his best friend seemed to have turnedfalse. As he walked toward Doc Weaver's house he decided what hewould do: he would go to his room and tear his sample copy of Jarby'sEncyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Artto scraps and throw them out upon the wind; he would write to Jarby &Goss and resign his commission; he would have Irontail hitched to hisbuggy and leave Kilo at once and forever, and from some other town hewould write to G. P. Hicks & Co. , and solicit the agency for Hicks'Facts for the Million, a book he had heretofore hated and despised. Allthis he resolved to do, and yet here he was again at Miss Sally's door, and the sample copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendiumof Literature, Science and Art was under his arm!

Mrs. Tarbro-Smith, when she saw Eliph' Hewlitt at the door, uttered alittle cry of joy and darted toward him. She put her finger to her lipsand slipped out of the door and drew him to the seat that had once beena church pew, but was now doing duty as a garden-seat under an appletree in the side yard. On Eliph's face was no longer the care-wornexpression of the rejected lover, but the full glow of confidence, radiating from between his side-whiskers. 

Mrs. Smith bent confidentially toward him, and laid one hand on the copyof Jarby's, which he had placed across his knees. In quick, crowdingwords she bade him hope--which wasn't necessary--and told him of thecoming of Guthrie and Skinner, and of their demands. She laid before himall she knew of the affair of the fire-extinguishers, of the horror ofthe threatened legal attack on Miss Sally, and the disgrace that wouldoverwhelm her should T. J. Jones publish an article mentioning her name. Eliph' Hewlitt must prevent the publication of the article; he must saveMiss Sally. 

The book agent was willing. As the appeal was spoken his eyes brightenedand the book agent instinct--the instinct that knows no defeat, but willtalk a book into any man's library, or die in the attempt--flowedfull and free through his soul. Mrs. Smith saw him take fire, and sheventured the question she had been leading up to. 

"Now, Mr. Hewlitt, " she said, "I have sent for Mr. Jones, and I will dowhat I can to persuade him not to publish the article. I depend on youto do what you can in that, too, but I am going to trespass on your goodnature in another thing also. It is something I know Miss Sally wouldnever allow me to ask, and I myself would not ask it but that I happento be waiting for a check from my publisher, and am quite out of fundsat the moment. I am going to ask you to lend me sixty dollars! Not formyself, but to me. I believe Miss Sally would be willing to borrow it ofme, and I know, dear Mr. Hewlitt, you will be willing to lend it to me. "

Eliph' coughed softly behind his hand. 

"Gladly!" he said. "Gladly any amount. I have quite a little moneylaid away, quite a little; some thousands, in fact; I might be calleda wealthy man--in Kilo. And it would be a pleasure, a real pleasure, to spend all for Miss Sally. She is a fine woman, Mrs. Smith. I admireher. "

"I knew I could depend on YOU, " said Mrs. Smith, putting her white handon his scarcely less white one. 

"But I can appreciate Miss Sally's-ah-maidenly dislike, in fact, herquite proper dislike of a loan from-ah-one who aspires---- In fact, " hesaid, boldly breaking away from all attempt to speak bookishly, "fromme. She don't want to borrow from me, and it would be the same thing ifyou borrowed for her from me. The same thing. I am courting Miss Sally, and such a loan would be irregular. There is nothing, Mrs. Smith, inthe chapter on 'Courtship--How to Win the Affections, ' et cetery, aboutloaning money to the lady. It would derange the directions given in thisbook, which is----"

"I don't want to hear about the book, " said Mrs. Smith with annoyance. "I know all about the book. So you refuse to lend me sixty dollars? You, like these other men, are willing to desert Miss Sally at a time likethis?"

"No, " said the book agent. "Not desert. Rescue. Rescue her from thehands of these--these men. Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art should be in every home, in every store, in every office. To be without it is to be like arudderless air ship tossed by the waves of the relentless ocean. Itcontains a fact for every day in the year, for every moment of life, anyone of which is worth the price of the book many times over. This book, "he said--and then his eyes, which had been gazing far into the sky overMiss Sally's house, returned to the eyes of Mrs. Smith--"I am going tosell Mr. Skinner a copy of this book. "

In spite of her disappointment in him, Mrs. Smith, the authoress, felta thrill of pleasure in the discovery of such an admirable type--a bookagent who could see in the midst of love, courtship, conspiracy andtrouble only his book and a chance to sell it. But she was deeplydisappointed. 

"Then you desert Miss Sally, " she repeated sadly. 

"Mrs. Smith. " Said Eliph', reaching into his pocket and laying a handfulof thick greasy manila envelopes in her lap, "these are my bankbooks. Six, containing the sum of seventeen thousand four hundred andeighty-two dollars and forty-six cents, and all this I lay atMiss Sally's feet if I do not succeed in selling a copy of Jarby'sEncyclopedia this afternoon. If sold, the matter is settled. "

When Eliph' reached the business part of Main Street he turned intoSkinner's butcher shop and halted at the counter. The butcher was atwork in the back room, and he put his head out and, seeing who hadcalled, shook it. 

"No books, " he said shortly. "I never buy books. I didn't buy them SirWalter Scotts even. No books. "

Eliph' coughed his deprecatory little cough and walked behind thecounter and to the door of the back room. 

"So I understood, " he said. "I heard at Franklin that you didn't buybooks; it was mentioned to me that I would be wasting my time in callingon you. They said you was known all over the State as not buying books, and many admired your self-restraint in not buying. They said it waswonderful. That's why I never called on you to buy. But I didn't come tosell you a book. I wanted to ask if you knew William Rossiter?"

"William Rossiter?" asked Skinner, perplexed, coming out of the backroom. "Who's William Rossiter?"

Eliph' laid his book on the chopping block. 

"William Rossiter, agent, " he said. "He was here once. He was the manthat stopped with Miss Sally Briggs a while. I thought maybe you knewhim. He's dead. I thought maybe you'd be interested to know it. "

A light dawned on the butcher. William Rossiter must have been the manthat left the lung-testers at Miss Sally's. 

"I'm glad he's dead, " he said. "I don't know anybody I'd sooner have ithappen to. "

"Don't say that!" exclaimed Eliph'. "If you only knew how he died, pooryoung man, you wouldn't say it. He burned to death. "

"Well, " said the butcher, "I don't know as I care how he died. I can'tsay I'm sorry. I guess he cost me a hundred dollars. I've got to go tolaw for it if I ever want to see it again. I guess he deserved to die, for the trouble he has made in this town. "

Eliph' placed his hand on the sample copy of Jarby's. 

"I will tell you how he died, " he said briskly. 

"No, you won't, " said Skinner angrily, waving his hand toward the door;"you won't tell me nothin'. I've heard of these stories of yours, Ihave. You want to sell me one of them books, and you'll talk away at meabout this Rossiter feller, and the first thing I know you'll have medown for a book. But you won't, for if you don't get right out of thatdoor I'm goin' to put you out. "

"All right, " said Eliph' cheerfully, picking up his book, "if that's theway you feel about it I won't take up your time telling you about it Iwon't take up your time telling you about Bill Rossiter. Only I thoughtyou'd like to know how it happened he was burned up in a theater whenthere was two dozen as good fire-extinguishers, right at hand, as thereis in the world. But I won't intrude. I know myself too well, and I knowI might happen to get to talking books before I thought. You see, " hesaid, as if apologizing for himself, "I can't forget how this book savedmy life, and might have saved the life of Bill Rossiter, too, if hehad had a copy, the price being only five dollars, bound in cloth, onedollar down and one dollar a month until paid. "

"There, " said Skinner, as if Eliph' had offended him, "you are talkin'books right now, like I said you would. "

"Was I?" asked Eliph'. "And all I started out to say was that I met BillRossiter in St. Louis just after he had run away from here. He told meall about it, and wept on my shoulder as he told me how it pained him tohave to skip that way. He said it wasn't as if he could have left MissBriggs anything that she could use, but-lung-testers! He asked me whata town like Kilo could do with lung-testers, and he felt awful about it. Said he couldn't bear to look at a lung-tester any more, they made himfeel so ashamed, and what made it all the worse was that he had to lookat them all day. "

"I should think they would, " said the butcher heartily. "It makes mesick to see them. But why did he do it if he didn't like it?"

"I was just going to tell you that, " said Eliph', putting down his bookagain. "You see, when he left here he went right to St. Louis, that being where his home was, and that was how he happened to havelung-testers with him when he was here. His father made them. That washis father's business. He was in the lung-tester manufacturing business. So when Bill Rossiter left here he went right home to his father, whichwas the wise thing to do. "

"Went home to sponge on the old man, I suppose, " said Skinner. 

"Just so, " agreed Eliph', "and that was how I happened to meet him. There was a man there in St. Louis by the name of Hopper-DariusHopper-and he owned the Imperial Theater and Museum. He was an oldfriend of mine, and I had sold him a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art away back in1874, and as soon as he heard I was stopping in St. Louis he sentaround to the hotel and begged me to come around to the museum and givereadings out of Jarby's to the people that come into the museum. He saidthat it would draw bigger crowds in a cultured city like St. Louisthan would come to see a two-headed calf or a fat women's race, beinga course of readings that would instruct, entertain and please, and heasked me to name my own price. "

"I should call him a fool, " said Skinner scornfully. 

"He wasn't, " said Eliph'. "It took splendid. But I wouldn't let him payme a cent. I said I considered it my sacred duty to make as many peopleas I could love and know Jarby's, and that I was doing my best to betterthe world that way, and was glad to do it free gratis, because in abig place like St. Louis there were many that could not afford even thesmall price of one dollar down and one dollar a month, which is allthat is asked for this splendid volume, containing all the wisdom ofthe world, from the earliest days to the present time, neatly bound incloth, and I felt I was helping the cause of progress by reading them afew chapters. I began at page one, " continued Eliph', opening the bookin his hands, "skipping the allegorical frontispiece in three colors, and the index in which ten thousand-----"

"I thought you was goin' to tell me about William Rossiter, " said thebutcher suspiciously. 

"So I am, " said Eliph'. "William Rossiter was on the third floor of theTheater and Museum building, for that was the job his father hunted upfor him. William was in charge of the penny-in-the-slot machines of allkinds, a full description of which will be found in this book under thehead of 'Machines, Automatic, ' including a description of how made, how to use and how to repair. In fact, there is nothing in the way ofinformation, from how to tell the weight of a baby by measuring itswaist, to the age, size and history of the immortal pyramids of Egypt, one of the seven wonders of the world, that this book does not contain. It interests alike the student and the business man. And, " he continuedquickly as Skinner was about to interrupt him, "among the slot machinesof which William Rossiter had charge were twenty-four lung-testers. "

"Twenty-four!" exclaimed Skinner. "Them St. Louis folks must like totest their lungs!"

"No, " said Eliph', "they don't, and that is what makes me feel so badabout William Rossiter. The St Louis people didn't care for lung-testersat all. They crowded pennies into all the other machines, but they wouldjust go up to the lung-testers and sort of sniff at them, and walk awaywithout trying them. So there those twenty-four lung-testers stood, useless to man and beast, all in a row, doing nobody any good, and thereI was on the floor below reading out of a book that would have told BillRossiter how to make those lung-testers worth their weight in gold, andwould have saved his life. And to think he could have bought this bookfor the small nominal sum of----"

"You said that once, " said Skinner. "Five dollars; one dollar down, andone dollar a month until paid. "

"Bound in cloth, " said Eliph'. "Seven fifty if in morocco leather. So atthe very minute that the fire broke out----"

"Fire!" said Skinner; "what fire? You didn't say anything about a fire. "

"The fire in the theater and museum, " said Eliph'. "It started righton the stairs between the second and third floors, and the old buildingflared up like dry paper. Two or three men that was trying the slotmachines saw the smoke and run for the lung-testers, thinking by thelook they were fire-extinguishers, which was the most natural mistakein the world. The looks of them would fool anybody, but they werelung-testers, and there that old building was, with twenty-fourlung-testers in it, and not one fire-extinguisher. After that firethey passed an ordinance compelling every theater to have fourfire-extinguishers. "

"And do they have them?" asked Skinner. 

"Every first-class theater and opera house does, all over the UnitedStates, " said Eliph'. "But the odd thing was that at the very momentthe fire broke out I had this book open at page 416, 'Fire--ItsTraditions--How to Make a Fire Without Matches--Fire Fighting--FireExtinguishers, How Made. ' I was reading to those people how to makefire-extinguishers at home out of common chemicals and any suitablenickel-plated can, that would be as good as the best sold in any store, and right as I read it I thought how easy it would be for any man orchild to turn those twenty-four useless lung-testers on the third floorinto first-class fire-extinguishers, by following the simple directionsset down on page 418, at a cost of only about twenty-six cents each----"

Skinner held out his hand for the book. 

"Let me have a look at that book, " he said. 

Eliph' picked up the book and tucked it under his arm. 

"And at that minute came the cry of 'Fire!'" he said. "And I thought ofpoor Bill Rossiter up there on the third floor, shut off from all hopeof rescue-----"

Skinner reached down to his cash drawer and pulled it open. He took outa dollar bill and held it toward Eliph'. The book agent ignored it. 

"Think of it, " he said. "Bill Rossiter on the third floor, burning up, and me on the floor below with this book in my hand reading off of page418 the names of the simple ingredients that would----"

"Mebby I might as well pay the whole five right now, " said Skinner, taking four more dollars out of his drawer. "Could you leave that bookwith me?"

"I will, as a special favor, " said Eliph'. 

"Well, say, " said Skinner, "I'll be mortally obliged to you if you will. It will take a mighty load off of my mind. "

And when Eliph' left the butcher shop he had, for the first time in hislife, sold his sample copy. 

CHAPTER XVIII. Another Trial

When Eliph' stepped out of the butcher shop he saw T. J. Jones acrossthe street, returning from his interview with Mrs. Smith, and the bookagent hailed him and crossed the street. The editor wore a harassed lookas Eliph' stepped up to him, and it deepened when Eliph' asked him if hehad acceded to Mrs. Smith's request. 

"Hewlitt, " he said, "I couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Theman was willing but the editor had to refuse. The press cannot sink thepublic welfare to favor individuals; once the freedom of the press islost the nation relapses into sodden corruption. I told Mrs. Smith so. And besides, I have the whole article in type, too. I like Mrs. Smith, and I like Miss Sally, but the hissing cobra of corruption must becrunched beneath the heel of a free and independent press. The TIMESmust do its duty, let the chips fall where they may. "

"'The pen is mightier than the sword, ' page 233, Apt Quotations for AllOccasions, " said Eliph', "this being one of three thousand quotations, arranged alphabetically according to subject, as 'Bird--in the hand, Bird--of a feather, Bird--killing two with one stone, ' et cetery, including 'Leap--look before you, ' and 'Sure--be sure you're right, thengo ahead. ' What do you mean to print?"

The editor told him all he had been able to gather regarding the matteof the fire-extinguishers, and as he talked Eliph' saw the butcher leavehis shop and enter the drug store--he was after chemicals. He turned tothe editor with fresh assurance. 

"See page 88, 'Every Man his Own Lawyer, '" he said, "giving all that itis necessary for any man to know regarding the laws of his nativeland, including laws of business, how to draw up legal papers, whatconstitutes libel, et cetery. This one division alone being worth thewhole cost of the book, showing among other things what a paper shouldprint and what it should not. Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art is a marvelous work, includingas it does the chapter on 'Fire--Its Traditions--How to Make a FireWithout Matches--Fire Fighting--Fire Extinguishers, How Made, ' etcetery, containing directions by which man, woman or butcher canconvert lung-testers into approved fire-extinguishers at a cost of onlytwenty-six cents. It is a good book. I just sold Mr. Skinner one. "

He watched the editor's face as the meaning of his words dawned on it, and added:

"Miss Briggs has a copy, morocco binding, including among ten thousandand one subjects 'What Constitutes Libel. '"

"Then those fire-extinguishers will be all right, after all?" said theeditor. "You want to look out how you trifle with the press. The pressnever forgives nor forgets. "

"Those lung-testers, prepared according to Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, would put outthe flames of the fiery furnace prepared for Shadrach, Meschach andAbednego, mentioned in 'Bible Tales, ' Condensed and Put into Words ofOne Syllable for Children, ' page 569, Jarby's Encyclopedia, " said Eliph'airily. "They would satisfy an investigation committee of imps, or otherexperts. "

The editor thought for a minute and Eliph' looked at him and smiled, gently combing his whiskers with his fingers. 

"That's all right, " said the editor. "That lets Miss Sally out, and itmay satisfy Skinner, but it don't do away with the bribery. Mayor Stitzwas bribed and he admits it. He says he was, and he brags about it. Guthrie bribed him, and I've got enough left to give Stitz and Guthrie agood shot. I'll leave Skinner and Miss Briggs out, but I'll go for Stitzand Guthrie. I'll show them that in Kilo the press is alert, wide awake, and not to be trifled with. I'll teach them a lesson. "

"So do!" said Eliph'. "And make Miss Sally mad. And make Mrs. Smith mad. And make Miss Susan mad. And me. So do, and have Tolle tell them that hedid not want you to print it, and that he went up and fought you to getyou not to print it. So do, and instead of having Miss Sally and Mrs. Smith and me your friends, have us run you down to Susan. Instead ofhaving hit Toole by printing the thing sooner than he wanted, asyou did, print more, and do him a favor. Make him a favorite of MissSally's. So do, if you want to. Or--have me go to Miss Susan and say youwill not relent but that there is one chance--that she shall plead withyou herself. "

He stepped back and looked at the hesitating Jones. 

"Jones, " he said, "the way you are acting, the way you hesitate, would tell anybody that you have not a copy of Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, in your office. No man who has read that book would lack wisdom, that work containingunder one cover all the wisdom I the world, price five dollars, twodollars off to the press. Buy a copy and be sensible. "

Jones looked far down the street toward his office as if the matter hehad there standing in the galley was begging him not to desert it. 

"Courtship--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to Holdthem When Won, " said Eliph'. "See Jarby's giving advice to those inlove, those wishing to win the affections, et cetery. 'If the object ofthe affections can be placed in a position where she will be compelledto ask a favor, the granting of it, however slight, will advance thecause of the eager suitor. "

"I don't care!" said T. J. Jones suddenly. "I'd lose Skinner's ad if Iprinted that article, and he pays cash. "

"Mine too, " said Eliph', "and I was just thinking of doubling it. Jarby's deserves----"

"That's all right, " said the editor, with a sigh of relief. "You needn'thave Miss Susan come begging me. Just tell her I gave up printing thearticle because you said she wouldn't like it. "

"Don't throw away a chance, " urged Eliph' putting a hand on the youngman's arm. "Be wise. Do as Jarby's says. Be urged. I followed Jarby'sadvice. "

"Why are you--are you, too?" asked T. J. , beaming upon him. 

Eliph' coughed behind his hand. 

"Yes, " he said, "Miss Briggs. I followed Jarby's advice--and won. "

"Congratulations!" said the editor. "Have it your own way then. I'll beat Miss Sally's after supper, if Sue wants to coax. "

They parted, and as Eliph' walked happily toward his boarding househe did not realize that he had not won, nor that his appeal had beenrejected by Miss Sally, for he had regained his faith in Jarby's and ifhe had not yet won, he felt that he would, and that was the same thing. 

After his supper Eliph' felt that the time had come to arrange thingswith Miss Sally. There was no longer any cause for delay. He hadarranged the matter of the fire-extinguishers; he had settled the matterof the TIMES, and he felt that Skinner and the Colonel must have hurt bytheir actions their causes with Miss Sally. They had, indeed, far morethan Eliph' guessed. He repaired to his room and brushed his whiskerscarefully. Never had he appeared smarter than when he went out of thegateless opening in Doc Weaver's fence, and turned his face toward MissSally's home. 

His way led him pas the mayor's little car, where Stitz was on hisplatform smoking and evening pipe. The mayor halted him with a motion ofhis pipe stem. 

"Mister Hewlitt, " he said, "you know too that joke, yes? About thoselung-testers was not fire-extinguishers?"

"That's all right, " said Eliph', seeking to pass on, "It is all fixed upnow. They ARE fire-extinguishers. "

"Such a fool business on Skinner, " said the mayor with enjoyment. "Andon Stitz, too. I thinks me I am the boss grafter, and I ain't!"

He chuckled. 

"No-o!" he said cheerfully. "But next times I makes no more such foolmistakes; I make me a real boss grafter. I am now only a boss-fool, butboss grafter. So says Attorney Toole. Money is grafts, and houses andlots is grafts, and horses is grafts, and buggies, but, " and he pausedimpressively, "apples isn't, and potatoes isn't, and peas isn't, andchickens isn't. Nothing to eat is grafts. If it is to eat it is notgrafts. So says Attorney Toole. Things to eat is no more graftsas lung-tester is fire-extingables. So says Toole. So nobody won'tprosecute me. I stick me to the mayor business yet a while. Klops on thehead is nothings much; all big men gets them. So says Attorney Toole. "

Skinner was locking his shop when Eliph' passed, and the stopped Eliph'too. 

"Works fine, " he said. "I tried a tomato canful on a bonfire in the backyard, and it put it out like a wink. That's a great book; I'm glad youspoke about it. I wish you'd told me about it sooner. "

Miss Sally was not on the porch when Eliph' arrived, for she was stillin the kitchen at the supper dishes, but Mrs. Smith and Susan werethere, and they greeted him eagerly. The little man smiled as he walkedup to them, and waved his hand in the air. 

"You fixed it?" cried Mrs. Smith. "It is all right now?"

"Fixed from A to Z, " said Eliph', as he took a seat on the porch step. "All right from the allegorical frontispiece in three colors to the backpage. Jarby's wins, and error don't. Miss Sally in?"

He heard the click of the dishes as Miss Sally laid them one by one onthe kitchen table, so he knew well she was in. 

"It might relieve her mind if I told her, " he suggested, and Mrs. Smithsmiled and said it might. 

"Go right in, " she said, and Eliph' did. 

He went into the hall and coughed gently behind his hand, and Miss Sallylooked up. She wiped her hands hastily on her blue gingham apron, andcame into the hall. 

"Jarby's fixed it, " he said, and rapidly related what he had done, withillustrations in the way of quotations from the titles and sub-titles ofJarby's. "When you have a moment to spare, " he added, "I would like tospeak to you. I want to tell you something about Jarby's Encyclopedia ofKnowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art, a copy of whichI see lying on your parlor table, forming an adornment to the home bothuseful and helpful. "

"Well, I don't want no books, " said Miss Sally, "I've got one copy, andthat ought to be enough to adorn any home. And I've got to get thesedishes washed sometime. I've let the fire go out, and the water will becold. If there's anything important you want to say about that book, youcan go out and wait till I get the dishes done. "

"It's about how to get the best use out of it, " said Eliph'. "I'll goout and wait. It's something everybody that has a copy ought to know. "

He went out as she said, and found Susan alone on the porch. Mrs. Smith was at the gate, and he could see her white dress in the eveningdarkness. Susan sat with a knitted shawl about her shoulders, forthe evening were already growing chill, so long had Eliph's courtshiplengthened out. He could not have had a better opportunity to speak toSusan alone, and he warned her of the "piece" T. J. Had threatened topublish in the morning, and of the disgrace and sorrow it would bringto Miss Sally. The girl listened eagerly and her indignation grew as hewent on, so that he had to veer, and expatiate on the virtues of T. J. And the right of the modern press to meddle in private affairs when itwants to. 

"And can't anything be done?" asked Susan. "Why don't somebody dosomething? I didn't think Thomas was like that. "

"He isn't, " admitted Eliph' heartily. "But he needs coaxing. If you wereto coax him he might see how wrong he is. I shouldn't wonder if hewould come up here to-night, looking for me, being interested in Jarby'sEncyclopedia and anxious to get a copy at the reduced price of twodollars off, offered to the press only. If he does, try to move him. "

"I will, " said Susan. "And if he publishes that piece, I'll never speakto him again. "

Eliph' was still sitting there when T. J. Came, and when Susan proposeda walk down to the corner he knew that it would be all right with T. J. Jones. A light coming suddenly over his shoulder from the parlor behindhim told him that Miss Sally was ready to receive him, and he took hishat and went into the house. 

Miss Sally was sitting in the rocker with the cross-stitch cover, andEliph' took a seat at the opposite side of the center-table and liftedthe morocco bound copy of Jarby's from its place beside the shell box. The kerosene lamp glowed between them, and he drew closer to the tableand laid the book gently on his knees. Miss Sally sat straight uprightin her chair and looked at the little book agent. 

"This book, " he said, looking up at her with eyes in which kindness andbusiness mingled, "although sold, in this handsome binding, for sevenfifty, is worth, to one who understands it, its weight in gold. Itholds a help for every hour and a hint for every minute of the day. It furnishes wisdom for a lifetime. I read it and study it; for everydifficulty of my life it furnishes a solution. Corns? It tells how tocure them. Food? It tells how to cook it. Love? It tells how to make it. But, " he said, laying his hand affectionately on the morocco cover, "tobe understood it must be read. To read it well is to admire and cherishit, and yet, only this morning I was about to tear my copy of thispriceless volume to pieces and scatter it to the four winds of heaven. "

He paused to let this awful fact sink into Miss Sally's mind. 

"Yes, " he continued, "I was about to turn away from the best friend Ihave in the world and declare to one and all that Jarby's Encyclopediaof Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Science and Art was a fraud!When I left your home yesterday, I was full of anger. I was mad atJarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge and Compendium of Literature, Scienceand Art. I had trusted to its words and directions, as set forth in, Courtship--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to Hold ThemWhen Won, and you sent me away. I went away a different man than I hadcome, and resolved to go away from Kilo, and never to sell anothercopy of this book. I resolved to take the sale of 'Hicks' Facts for theMillion, ' a book, although greater in cost, containing by actual countsixteen thousand less words than this. 

"I went to my room at Doc Weaver's, " he continued, "and seized my copyof this work from where it lay on my bureau. I called it names. I toldit it was a cheat and a liar. Yes, Miss Sally, I let my angry passionsrise against this poor, innocent book. I believed it had advised mefalsely. I had trusted to its words and had done as it said to do, andyou had sent me away, not in anger, but in sorrow, but just as muchaway. I picked up the book and opened it, grasping it in two hands totear it asunder. "

He opened the book and showed her how he had grasped it. 

"I pulled it to tear it in two, " he said, raising the book and pullingit in the direction of asunder, "but it would not rip. It was bound toowell, the copies bound in cloth at five dollars, one dollar down and onedollar a month until paid, being bound as firmly as the more expensivecopies at seven fifty. I pulled harder and the book came level with mynose. I saw it had opened at 'Courtship--How to Make Love, ' and I said, 'While I am getting my breath to give this book another pull, why notread the lie that is written here once more? It will give me strength torend it asunder. ' So I read it. "

He looked at Miss Sally and saw that she was showing no signs of beingbored. 

"I held the book like this, " he said, showing how he held it, "and read. All that it said to do I had done and my anger grew stronger. But Iturned the page! I saw the words I had not seen before; words that toldme I had tried to tear my best friend to pieces. I sand into a chairtrembling like a leaf. I felt like a man jerked back from the edges ofNiagara Falls, a full description and picture of that wonder of naturebeing given in this book among other natural masterpieces. I weaklylifted the book back again and read those golden words. "

"What was it?" asked Miss Sally, leaning forward. 

"'Courtship--How to Make Love--How to Win the Affections--How to HoldThem When Won. '" said Eliph', turning to the proper page. "And the wordsI read were these: 'The lover should not be utterly cast down if he berefused upon first appealing for the dear one's hand. A first refusaloften means little or nothing. A lady frequently uses this means to testthe reality of the passion the lover has professed, and in such a casea refusal is often a most hopeful sign. Unless the refusal has beenaccompanied by very evident signs of dislike, the lover should tryagain. If at the third trial the fair one still denies his suit, he hadbetter seek elsewhere for happiness, but until the third test he shouldnot be discouraged. The first refusal may be but the proof of a finermind than common in the lady. '"

Eliph' removed his spectacles and laid them carefully in the pages ofthe book which he closed and placed gently on the center-table. 

"Having read that, " he said, "I saw that I had done this work a wrong. Ihad read it hastily and had missed the most important words. I felt thejoy of life returning to me. I remembered that you were a lady of finermind than common, and I understood why you had refused me. I resolvedto stay in Kilo and justify Jarby's Encyclopedia of Knowledge andCompendium of Literature, Science and Art by giving it another trial. And now, " he said, placing his hand on the book where it lay on thetable and leaning forward to gaze more closely into Miss Sally's face, while she faced him with a quickened pulse, and a blush, "now, I want toask you again, WILL you put your name down for a copy of this work----"He stopped appalled at what he had said, and stared at Miss Sally forone moment foolishly, while over her face spread not a frown of anger orcontempt, but a pleasant smile of friendly amusement. 

"Not the book, " he said, "but me. "

Miss Sally looked at the eager eyes that were not only serious, butsincere and kind. 

"Well, Mister Hewlitt, " she said, "I guess I'll have to marry someonesome time so I might as well marry you as anybody. But I don't think pawill ever give consent to havin' a book agent in the family. He hatesbook agents worse than I used to. "

"You don't any more, " said Eliph', putting his hand very far across thetable. 

"Well, no, I don't, " said Miss Sally graciously, "not all of 'em. "

CHAPTER XIX. Pap Briggs' Hen Food

The doubt that Miss Sally had expressed regarding Pap Briggs' acceptanceof Eliph' Hewlitt as a son-in-law was mild compared with the fact. Whenthe old man returned the next day from his farm at Clarence and learnedfrom Miss Sally that she had promised to marry the book agent he wasfuriously angry. For two whole days he refused to wear his store teethat all, and when he recovered from his first height of anger it was tosettle down into a hard and fast negative. He went about town tellinganyone that would listen to him that there ought to be licenses againstbook agents, and once having made up his mind that Miss Sally should notmarry Eliph' as long as he remained alive to prevent it, not even thefriendly approaches of the book agent could move him from his stubbornresolution. Miss Sally would not think of marrying while her father wasin such a state of opposition, and indeed, Eliph' did not urge it. Hehad no desire to defy his father-in-law, and he unwillingly but kindlyagreed to wait. 

In this way the autumn faded into winter. Mrs. Tarbro-Smith returned toNew York with a note-book full of dialect and a head full of local colorand types, and if she took Susan with her it was only because she agreedto bring her back in June, when T. J. Jones was to marry her. Miss Sallylived on with her father, attending to his wants, which were few andsimple. An egg for breakfast, and enough tobacco to burn all day werehis chief earthly desires, eggs because he could eat them in comfort, and tobacco because he liked it. 

When Miss Sally had moved to town there was one thing she had said herfather SHOULDN'T do, after living all his life on a farm, and that was, have store eggs for his breakfast. 

"Hens is trouble enough, Lord knows, " said Miss Sally, "an' dirty, ifthey can't be kep' in their place; but there's some comfort in theircluckin' round, and I guess I'll have plenty of time, and to spare totend to 'em; so, Pap, you won't have to eat no stale eggs for breakfast, if I kin help it. They ain't nothing' I hate to think on like boughteneggs. Nobody knows how old they are, nor who's been a-handlin' them; andeat boughten eggs you shan't do, sure's my name's Briggs!"

So Sally brought half a dozen hens and a gallant rooster to town withher, and supervised the erection of a cozy coop and hen-yard, and Paphad the comfort of knowing his eggs were fresh. But fresh or not, itmade no difference to him so long as he had one each morning, and it wasfairly edible. 

"These teeth o' mine, " he told Billings, the grocer, "cost twelvedollars down to Franklin, by the best dentist there; but, law sakes!A feller can't eat hard stuff with any comfort with 'em for fear ofbreakin' 'em every minute. They ain' nothin' but chiney, an' you knowhow chiney's the breakiest thing man ever made. That's why I say, 'Giveme eggs for breakfast, Sally, '--and eggs I will have. "

The six hens did their duty nobly during the summer and autumn and apart of the winter, and Pap had his egg unfailingly; but in December thelong cold spell came, and the six hens struck. It was the longest andcoldest spell ever known in Kilo, and it hung on and hung on until theentire hen population of Eastern Iowa became disgusted and went on astrike. Eggs went up in price until even packed eggs of the previoussummer sold for twenty-seven and thirty cents a dozen, and angel-cakebecame an impossible dainty. 

The second morning that Pap Briggs ate this eggless breakfast hesuggested that perhaps Sally might buy a few eggs at the grocery. 

"Pap Briggs, " she exclaimed reproachfully, "the idee of you sayin' sicha thin! As if I would cook packed eggs! No; we'll wait, and mebby thehens will begin layin' again in a day or two. "

But they did not, and the days became a week, and two weeks, and stillno eggs rewarded her daily search. Pap knew better than to repeat hissuggestion of buying eggs, for Sally Briggs said a thing only when shemeant it, and to mention it again would only exasperate her. 

"Our hens don't lay a blame egg, " Pap told Billings complainingly, "andSally won't buy eggs, and I can't eat nothin' but eggs for breakfast, soI reckon I'll jist have to naturally starve to death. "

"Why don't you try some of our hen-food?" asked Billings, taking up apackage and reading from the label. "'Guaranteed to make hens lay in allkinds of weather, the coldest as well as the warmest' That's just whatyou want, Pap. "

"Well, " said Pap, "I been keepin' hens off and on for nigh forty year, and I ain't ever seen any o' that stuff that was ary good; but I gotto have eggs or bust, so I'll take a can o' that stuff. But I ain't nohopes of it, Billings, I ain't no hopes. "

His pessimism was well founded. The cold spell was too much even for thebest hen-food to conquer. No eggs rewarded him. 

One evening he was sitting in Billings', smoking his pipe and thinking. He had been thinking for some time, and at length a sparkle came intohis eyes, and he knocked the ashes from his pipe and arose. 

"Billings, " he said, "mix me up about a nickel's wuth o' corn-meal, and a nickel's wuth o' flour, and"--he hesitated a moment and thenchuckled--"and a nickel's wuth o' wash-blue. "

"For heaven's sake, Pap, " said Billings, "have ye gone plumb crazy?"

"No, I ain't, " said Pap. "I ain't lost all my brains yit, nor I ain'tgone plumb crazy yit, neither. That's a hen food I invented. "

"Hen-food!" exclaimed Billings. "You don't 'low that will make hens lay, do you, Pap?"

"I ain't advisin' no one to use it that don't want to, " said Pap, "but Ibet you I'm a-goin' to feed that to my hens"; and he chuckled again. 

"Pap, " said Billings, "you're up to some be-devilment, sure! What isit?"

"You jist keep your hand on your watch till you find out, " answered Pap, and he took his package and went home. 

"Sally, " he said when he entered the house, "I got some hen-food nowthat's bound to make them hens lay, sure. "

She took the package and opened it. 

"For law's sake, Pap, " she said, "what kind o' hen-food is that? It'sblue!"

"Yes, " said Pap, looking at it closely, "it IS blue, ain't it? It's amixture of my own. I ain't been raisin' hens off an' on fer forty yearfor nothin'. You got to study the hen, Sally, and think about her. Whydon't a hen lay in cold weather? 'Cause the weather makes the hen cold. This will make her warm. You jist try it. Give 'em a spoonful apiece an'I reckon they'll lay. It don't look like much, but I bet you anythingit'll make them hens lay. "

"I don't believe it, " she snapped, "and I'll hold you to that bet, sure's my names Briggs. " But the next day she gave them the allottedportion. 

That evening when Pap Briggs knocked the ashes from his pipe and rosefrom his seat in Billings' store, he said, "Billings, have you got somemainly fresh eggs--eggs you kin recommend?"

"Yes, I have, " said Billings, with a grin. "So your hen-food don't work, Pap?"

Pap chuckled. 

"It's a-workin, " he said, "and you can give me a dozen o' them eggs. And, say, you need't tell Sally. "

Billings laughed. "I'm on, " he said. 

Pap put the bag of eggs back of the cracker-box, and put three of themin his pocket. 

When he reached home he quietly slipped around the house and depositedthe three eggs in three nests, and went it. 

The next morning Sally greeted him with a smile. "Eggs this mornin', Pap, " she said. "That hen-food did work like a charm. I got three eggs. "

Pap ate without comment until he had finished the second egg. He feltthat he could eat a dozen, after his long fast. 

"It do seem good to have eggs agin, " he said. 

That evening, and the next evening he deposited three eggs as before. Onthe third morning Sally said: "It's queer about them hens, Pap; they lay, but they don't cluck like a hen generally does when she lays an egg. "

Pap hesitated for a moment. 

"It's sich cold weather, " he said, "I reckon that's why. "

About a week later Sally said: "I do declare to gracious, Pap, them hensdo puzzle me. "

Pap moved uneasily in his seat. 

"The do puzzle me!" repeated Sally. "Here the are layin' right along asreg'lar as summer-time, and never cluckin' or lettin' on a bit, andthe queerest thing is they jist lay three eggs every day. It don't seemnatural!"

That night Pap put four eggs in the nests. The next night he put infive, and the next night three, and the danger into which his wiles hadfallen was averted. 

One morning Sally startled him by saying: "Pap, I can't make them hensout. Here they are a-layin' right along, and all at once they quitlayin' decent sized eggs like they ought, and begin layin' little meanthings no better than banty eggs. "

Pap scratched his head. 

"You must allow, Sally, " he said, "that it's quite a strain on a hento keep a-layin' right along through such weather as this, and I'm onlythankful they lay any. Mebby if you give them a leetle more o' thathen-food they'll do better. "

"I believe it, " said Sally. "Why, it's wonderful, Pap. I shouldn't be abit surprised to find 'em layin' duck eggs if I jist give 'em enough o'that stuff. "

Pap looked closely at her face, but it was innocent of guile. Shesuspected nothing. 

The next day the eggs were of the proper size. 

"It's a real blessin' to have hens a-layin', " she said one day. "I tookhalf a dozen over to the minister's wife this mornin', and she was sopleased! She said it was sich a blessin' to have fresh eggs again. She was gittin' sick o' them she's been buyin' at Billings'. She wasdownright thankful. "

About a week later she said:

"Them hens of ourn do beat all creation. I run out o' that hen-food aweek ago, and I hain't give them a mite since, and they keep a-layin'jist the same. I can't make head nor tail of them, Pap. "

Pap squirmed in his chair. 

"Pshaw, now, Sally, " he said, "you'd ought to have let me know you wasout. You oughtn't to do that. Feed 'em plenty of it. They deserve it. If you stop feedin' them they'll stop layin' pretty soon. The effect ofthat hen-food don't last more'n two weeks. No, " he said thoughtfully, "ten days is the longest I ever knowed it to last 'em. "

If Pap Briggs enjoyed his eggs for breakfast he enjoyed as fully themany laughs he had with Billings over the scheme, and Billing foundit hard to keep his promised secrecy. It would be such a good story totell. But Pap exhorted him daily, and he did not let the secret out. 

One Sunday morning Pap came down to his breakfast and took his seat. Sally brought his coffee and bacon. Then she brought him a plate ofmoistened toast. 

"You've forgot the eggs, Sally, " said Pap admonishingly. 

"They ain't none this morning, " said Sally briefly. 

Pap looked up and saw that her mouth was set very firmly. 

"No eggs?" he asked tremulously. 

"No, " she said decidedly, "no eggs! I kin believe that hens lay eggs anddon't cluck, and I kin believe that hens lay eggs all winter, and I kinbelieve that Plymouth Rock hens lay Leghorn eggs and Shanghai eggs andBanty eggs, Pap, but when hens begin layin' spoiled eggs I ain't no morefaith in hens. "

Pap laid down his knife and fork. 

"Spoiled eggs!" he ejaculated. 

"Yes, spoiled eggs, " she declared. "You and Billings ought to be morecareful. "

Pap turned his bacon over and eyed it critically. Then he frowned at it. Then he chuckled. 

"You needn't laugh, " said Miss Sally severely. "You don't get no moreeggs until the hens begin laying regular. You can eat moistened toast. You ain't fair to me, pa. You set up to say who I shall marry, when I'mold enough to know for myself, and then you go and cheat me about eggs. Mebby I ain't old enough to know who to marry, but I'm old enough to runthis house for you, and you don't get no more eggs. No more eggs untilspring, or until I can marry who I want to. "

Pap looked at the mushy piece of toast and grinned sheepishly. 

"You'd be worse of 'n ever, Sally, " he said meekly, "if so be youmarried a man that felt he had to hev eggs every morning. They'd be twoof us then. "

"Well, Id just have to buy eggs then, " she said, "if that come to pass. I couldn't expect these few hens to lay enough eggs in winter for twomen. If I had to buy eggs for a husband, I'd buy them. "

The old man ate his toast slowly and without relish. 

"Sally, " he said that afternoon, "I guess mebby you'd better gitmarried. I'm gittin' old. You'd better marry that book agent whilst yougot a chance. "

It was Pap Briggs who urged an early date, after that, and who was mostjoyous at the wedding. 

"Pap, " asked Sally one morning soon after she and Eliph' were married, while the three were sitting at breakfast, "what ever made you swinground so sudden and want me to marry Eliph', after objectin' so long?"

Her father looked at Eliph' slyly and chuckled. 

"Eggs, " he said. "I fooled you that time, Sally. I knowed when I said togo ahead that Eliph' has to have eggs for breakfast. Doc Weaver told meso. "