_HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT--No. III_

HOW TO BEHAVE

A POCKET MANUAL

OF

Republican Etiquette, AND

GUIDE TO CORRECT PERSONAL HABITS, EMBRACING

AN EXPOSITION OF THE PRINCIPLES OF GOOD MANNERS; USEFUL HINTS ON THECARE OF THE PERSON, EATING, DRINKING, EXERCISE, HABITS, DRESS, SELF-CULTURE, AND BEHAVIOR AT HOME; THE ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS, INTRODUCTIONS, RECEPTIONS, VISITS, DINNERS, EVENING PARTIES, CONVERSATION, LETTERS, PRESENTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE STREET, THECHURCH, PLACES OF AMUSEMENT, TRAVELING, ETC. , WITH

Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules ofOrder for Debating Societies. 

[Signature: Samuel R. (Roberts) Wells]

 The air and manner which we neglect, as little things, are frequently what the world judges us by, and makes them decide for or against us. --_La Bruyère. _ Order my steps in thy word. --_Bible. _

 NEW YORK: FOWLER & WELLS CO. , PUBLISHERS, 753 BROADWAY. 1887. 

 ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS IN THE YEAR 1857 BY

 FOWLER AND WELLS

 IN THE CLERK'S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED STATES FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

 Politeness Defined--The Foundation of Good Manners--The Civil Code and the Code of Civility--The Instinct of Courtesy-- Chesterfield's Method--The Golden Rule--American Politeness-- Utility of Good Manners Illustrated. Page ix

I. --PERSONAL HABITS. 

 Where to Commence--Care of the Person a Social Duty--Cleanliness-- The Daily Bath--Soap and Water--The Feet--Change of Linen--The Nails--The Head--The Teeth--The Breath--Eating and Drinking--What to Eat--When to Eat--How much to Eat--What to Drink--Breathing-- Exercise--The Complexion--Tobacco--Spitting--Gin and Gentility-- Onions, etc. --Little Things 15

II. --DRESS. 

 The Meaning of Dress--The Uses of Dress--Fitness the First Essential--The Art of Dress--The Short Dress for Ladies-- Working-Dress for Gentlemen--Ornaments--Materials for Dress--Mrs. Manners on Dress--The Hair and Beard--Art _vs. _ Fashion--Signs of the Good Time Coming 31

III. --SELF-CULTURE. 

 Moral and Social Training--Cultivation of Language--Position and Movement--The Ease and Grace of Childhood--Standing--Sitting-- Walking--Hints to the Ladies--Self-Command--Observation--Practical Lesson 42

IV. --FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES. 

 Manners and Morals--Human Rights--Duties--The Rights of the Senses--The Faculties and their Claims--Expression of Opinions--The Sacredness of Privacy--Conformity--Singing out of Tune--Doing as the Romans Do--Courtesy _vs. _ Etiquette--An Anecdote--Harmony--Equality--A Remark to be Remembered--General Principles more Important than Particular Observances 48

V. --DOMESTIC MANNERS. 

 A Test of Good Manners--Good Behavior at Home--American Children--Teaching Children to be Polite--Behavior to Parents--Brothers and Sisters--Husband and Wife--Married Lovers--Entertaining Guests--Letting your Guests Alone--Making one "at Home"--Making Apologies--Duties of Guests--Treatment of Servants--Rights of Servants--"Thank You" 56

VI. --THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE. 

 Introductions--Letters of Introduction--Speaking without an Introduction--Salutations--Receptions--Visits and Calls--Table Manners--Conversations--Chesterfield on Conversation--Music-- Letters and Notes--Up and Down Stairs--Which Goes First?--An American Habit--Gloved or Ungloved?--Equality--False Shame-- Pulling out one's Watch--Husband and Wife--Bowing _vs. _ Curtseying--Presents--Snobbery--Children 64

VII. --ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS. 

 Dinner Parties--Invitations--Dress--Punctuality--Going to the Table--Arrangement of Guests--Duties of the Host--Duties of the Guests--The "Grace"--Eating Soup--Fish--The Third Course--What to do with your Knife and Fork--Declining Wine--Finger Glasses-- Carving--Evening Parties and their Observances--French Leave-- Sports and Games--Promiscuous Kissing--Dancing--Christmas--The New Year--Thanksgiving--Birthdays--Excursions and Picnics-- Weddings--Funerals 83

VIII. --THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES. 

 How to Behave on the Street--Stopping Business Men on the Street-- Walking with Ladies--Shopping--At Church--At Places of Amusement-- In a Picture Gallery--The Presence--Traveling--The Rush for Places--The Rights of Fellow-Travelers--Giving up Seats to the Ladies--A Hint to the Ladies on Politeness--Paying Fares 100

IX. --LOVE AND COURTSHIP. 

 Boyish Loves--The Proper Age to Marry--Waiting for a Fortune-- Importance of Understanding Physiological Laws--Earnestness and Sincerity in Love--Particular Attentions--Presents--Confidants-- Declarations--Asking "Pa"--Refusals--Engagement--Breaking Off-- Marriage 110

X. --PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE. 

 Courtesy in Debate--Origin of the Parliamentary Code--Rules of Order--Motions--Speaking--Submitting a Question--Voting--A Quorum The Democratic Principle--Privileged Questions--Order of Business--Order of Debate 116

XI. --MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS. 

 Republican Distinctions--Natural Inequalities--American Toad Eaters--General Lack of Reverence for Real Nobility--City and Country--Imported Manners--Fictitious Titles--A Mirror for Certain Men--Washington's Code of Manners--Our Social Uniform--A Hint to the Ladies--An Obliging Disposition--Securing a Home--Taste _vs. _ Fashion--Special Claims--Propriety of Deportment--False Pride--Awkwardness of being Dressed 124

XII. --MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD. 

 Cheerfulness and Good Humor--The Art of Pleasing--Adaptation of Manners--Bad Habits--Do what you are About--People who Never Learn--Local Manners--How to Confer Favors--How to Refuse-- Spirit--Civility to Women 135

XIII. --ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES. 

 Elder Blunt and Sister Scrub Taking off the Hat, or John and his Employer--A Learned Man at Table--English Women in High Life-- "Say so, if you Please" 139

PREFACE. 

This is an honest and earnest little book, if it has no other merit;and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of ourgreat Republic, whom it is designed to aid in becoming, what we areconvinced they all desire to be, true American ladies and gentlemen. 

Desiring to make our readers something better than mere imitators offoreign manners, often based on social conditions radically differentfrom our own--something better than imitators of _any_ manners, infact, we have dwelt at greater length and with far more emphasis upongeneral principles, than upon special observances, though the latterhave their place in our work. It has been our first object to impressupon their minds the fact, that good manners and good morals rest uponthe same basis, and that justice and benevolence can no more besatisfied without the one than without the other. 

As in the other numbers of this series of Hand-Books, so in this, wehave aimed at usefulness rather than originality; but our plan beingradically different from that of most other manuals of etiquette, wehave been able to avail ourself to only a very limited extent of thelabors of others, except in the matter of mere conventional forms. 

Sensible of the imperfections of our work, but hoping that it will dosome acceptable service in the cause of good manners, and aid, in ahumble way, in the building up of a truly American and republicanschool of politeness, we now submit it, with great deference, to adiscerning public. 

INTRODUCTION. 

Some one has defined politeness as "only an elegant form of justice;"but it is something more. It is the result of the combined action ofall the moral and social feelings, guided by judgment and refined bytaste. It requires the exercise of benevolence, veneration (in itshuman aspect), adhesiveness, and ideality, as well as ofconscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of humansolidarity--the flowering of philanthropy--the fine art of the socialpassions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and paintingand sculpture to the eye. 

One can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a merematter of arbitrary forms. It has as real and permanent a foundationin the nature and relations of men and women, as have government andthe common law. The civil code is not more binding upon us than is thecode of civility. Portions of the former become, from time to time, inoperative--mere dead letters on the statute-book, on account of theconditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist; and many ofthe enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding forcefrom the same cause. Many of the forms now in vogue, in what is calledfashionable society, are of this character. Under the circumstanceswhich called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful;under changed circumstances they are simply absurd. There are otherforms of observances over which time and place have no influence--whichare always and everywhere binding. 

Politeness itself is always the same. The rules of etiquette, whichare merely the forms in which it finds expression, vary with time andplace. A sincere regard for the rights of others, in the smallestmatters as well as the largest, genuine kindness of heart; good taste, and self-command, which are the foundations of good manners, are neverout of fashion; and a person who possesses them can hardly be rude ordiscourteous, however far he may transgress conventional usages:lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules ofetiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice tomake one truly polite. 

"Politeness, " says La Bruyère, "seems to be a certain care, by themanner of our words and actions, to make others pleased with us andthemselves. " This definition refers the matter directly to thosequalities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations ofgood manners. To the same effect is the remark of Madame Celnart, that"the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is _to havean intention of always doing right_. "

Some persons have the "instinct of courtesy" so largely developed thatthey seem hardly to need culture at all. They are equal to anyoccasion, however novel. They never commit blunders, or if they docommit them, they seem not to be blunders in them. So there are thosewho sing, speak, or draw intuitively--by inspiration. The greatmajority of us, however, must be content to acquire these arts bystudy and practice. In the same way we must acquire the art ofbehavior, so far as behavior is an art. We must possess, in the firstplace, a sense of equity, good-will toward our fellow-men, kindfeelings, magnanimity and self-control. Cultivation will do the rest. But we most never forget that manners as well as morals are founded oncertain eternal principles, and that while "the _letter_ killeth, ""the _spirit_ giveth _life_. "

The account which Lord Chesterfield gives of the method by which heacquired the reputation of being the most polished man in England, isa strong example of the efficacy of practice, in view of which no oneneed despair. He was naturally singularly deficient in that gracewhich afterward so distinguished him. "I had a strong desire, " hesays, "to please, and was sensible that I had nothing but the desire. I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means too. I studiedattentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the address, and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be thepeople in fashion, and most generally allowed to please. I imitatedthem as well as I could: if I heard that one man was reckonedremarkably genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions, andattitudes, and formed my own upon them. When I heard of another whoseconversation was agreeable and engaging I listened and attended to theturn of it. I addressed myself, though _de très mauvaise grâce_ [witha very bad grace], to all the most fashionable fine ladies; confessedand laughed with them at my own awkwardness and rawness, recommendingmyself as an object for them to try their skill in forming. "

Lord Bacon says: "To attain good manners it almost sufficeth not todespise them, and that if a man labor too much to express them, heshall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected. "

To these testimonies we may add the observation of La Rochefoucauld, that "in manners there are no good copies, for besides that the copyis almost always clumsy or exaggerated, the air which is suited to oneperson sits ill upon another. "

The greater must have been the genius of Chesterfield which enabledhim to make the graces of others his own, appropriating them only sofar as they _fitted him_, instead of blindly and servilely imitatinghis models. 

C. P. Bronson truly says: "In politeness, as in every thing elseconnected with the formation of character, we are too apt to begin onthe outside, instead of the inside; instead of beginning with theheart, and trusting to that to form the manners, many begin with themanners, and leave the heart to chance and influences. The golden rulecontains the very life and soul of politeness: 'Do unto others as youwould they should do unto you. ' Unless children and youth are taught, by precept and example, to abhor what is selfish, and prefer another'spleasure and comfort to their own, their politeness will be entirelyartificial, and used only when interest and policy dictate. Truepoliteness is perfect freedom and ease, treating others just as youlove to be treated. Nature is always graceful: affectation, with allher art, can never produce any thing half so pleasing. The veryperfection of elegance is to imitate nature; how much better to havethe reality than the imitation! Anxiety about the opinions of othersfetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness; all wouldappear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess. "

A writer in _Life Illustrated_, to whose excellent observations onetiquette we shall have further occasion to refer, contends that theinstinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the American people. "Itis shown, " he says, "in the civility which marks our intercourse withone another. It is shown in the deference which is universally paid tothe presence of the gentler sex. It is shown in the excessive fearwhich prevails among us of offending public opinion. It is shown inthe very extravagances of our costume and decoration, in our lavishexpenditures upon house and equipage. It is shown in the avidity withwhich every new work is bought and read which pretends to lay downthe laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be, _parexcellence_, polite. It is shown in the fact, that, next to calling aman a liar, the most offensive and stinging of all possibleexpressions is, 'You are no gentleman!'"

He claims that this is a national trait, and expresses the belief thatevery uncorrupt American man desires to be, and to be thought, agentleman; that every uncorrupt American woman desires to be, and tobe thought, a lady. 

"But, " he adds, "the instinct of courtesy is not enough, nor isopportunity equivalent to possession. The truth is palpable, that ourmen are not all gentlemen, nor our women all ladies, nor our childrenall docile and obliging. In that small and insignificant circle whichis called 'Society, ' which, small and insignificant as it is, givesthe tone to the manners of the nation, the chief efforts seem to be, to cleanse the outside of the platter, to conceal defects by gloss andglitter. Its theory of politeness and its maxims of behavior are drawnfrom a state of things so different from that which here prevails, that they produce in us little besides an exaggerated ungracefulness, a painful constraint, a complete artificiality of conduct andcharacter. We are trying to shine in borrowed plumes. We would glistenwith foreign varnish. To produce an _effect_ is our endeavor. Weprefer to _act_, rather than _live_. The politeness which is based onsincerity, good-will, self-conquest, and a minute, habitual regard forthe rights of others, is not, we fear, the politeness which findsfavor in the saloons upon which the upholsterer has exhausted theresources of his craft. Yet without possessing, in a certain degree, the qualities we have named, no man ever did, and no man ever will, become a gentleman. Where they do not bear sway, society may bebrilliant in garniture, high in pretension, but it is intrinsicallyand incurably _vulgar_!"

The utility of good manners is universally acknowledged perhaps, butthe extent to which genuine courtesy may be made to contribute to oursuccess as well as our happiness is hardly realized. We can not moresatisfactorily illustrate this point than by quoting the followinglesson of experience from the Autobiography of the late Dr. Caldwell, the celebrated physician and phrenologist:

"In the year 1825 I made, in London, in a spirit of wager, a decisiveand satisfactory experiment as to the effect of civil and courteousmanners on people of various ranks and descriptions. 

"There were in a place a number of young Americans, who oftencomplained to me of the neglect and rudeness experienced by them fromcitizens to whom they spoke in the streets. They asserted, inparticular, that as often as they requested directions to any point inthe city toward which they were proceeding, they either received anuncivil and evasive answer, or none at all. I told them that myexperience on the same subject had been exceedingly different: that Ihad never failed to receive a civil reply to my questions--oftencommunicating the information requested: and that I could not helpsuspecting that their failure to receive similar answers arose, inpart at least, if not entirely, to the plainness, not to say thebluntness, of their manner in making their inquiries. The correctnessof this charge, however, they sturdily denied, asserting that theirmanner of asking for information was good enough for those to whomthey addressed themselves. Unable to convince them by words of thetruth of my suspicions, I proposed to them the following simple andconclusive experiment:

"'Let us take together a walk of two or three hours in some of thepublic streets of the city. You shall yourselves designate the personsto whom I shall propose questions, and the subjects also to which thequestion shall relate; and the only restriction imposed is, that noquestion shall be proposed to any one who shall appear to be greatlyhurried, agitated, distressed, or any other way deeply preoccupied, inmind or body, and no one shall speak to the person questioned butmyself. '

"My proposition being accepted, out we sallied, and to work we went;and I continued my experiment until my young friends surrendered atdiscretion, frankly acknowledging that my opinion was right, andtheirs, of course was wrong; and that, in our passage through life, courtesy of address and deportment may be made both a pleasant andpowerful means to attain our ends and gratify our wishes. 

"I put questions to more than twenty persons of every rank, from thehigh-bred gentleman to the servant in livery, and received in everyinstance a satisfactory reply. If the information asked for was notimparted, the individual addressed gave an assurance of his at beingunable to communicate it. 

"What seemed to surprise my friends was, that the individuals accostedby me almost uniformly imitated my own manner. If I uncovered my head, as I did in speaking to a gentleman, or even to a man of ordinaryappearance and breeding, he did the same in his reply; and when Itouched my hat to a liveried coachman or waiting man, his hat wasimmediately under his arm. So much may be done, and such advantagesgained, by simply avoiding coarseness and vulgarity, and being wellbred and agreeable. Nor can the case be otherwise. For the foundationof good breeding is good nature and good sense--two of the most usefuland indispensable attributes of a well-constituted mind. Let it not beforgotten, however, that good breeding is not to be regarded asidentical with politeness--a mistake which is too frequently, if notgenerally, committed. A person may be exceedingly polite without themuch higher and more valuable accomplishment of good breeding. "

Believing that the natural qualities essential to the character of thegentleman or the lady exist in a high degree among our countrymen andcountrywomen, and that they universally desire to develop thesequalities, and to add to them the necessary knowledge of all the trulysignificant and living forms and usages of good society, we havewritten the work now before you. We have not the vanity to believethat the mere reading of it will, of itself, convert an essentiallyvulgar person into a lady or a gentleman; but we do hope that we havefurnished those who most need it with available and efficient aid; andin this hope we dedicate this little "Manual of Republican Etiquette"to all who are, or would be, in the highest sense of these terms, TRUE REPUBLICAN LADIES OR GENTLEMEN

HOW TO BEHAVE. 

I. 

PERSONAL HABITS. 

 Attention to the person is the first necessity of good manners. --_Anon. _

I. --WHERE TO COMMENCE. 

If you wish to commence aright the study of manners, you must makeyour own person the first lesson. If you neglect this you will applyyourself to those which follow with very little profit. Omit, therefore, any other chapter in the book rather than this. 

The proper care and adornment of the person is a social as well as anindividual duty. You have a right to go about with unwashed hands andface, and to wear soiled and untidy garments, perhaps, but you have noright to offend the senses of others by displaying such hands, face, and garments in society. Other people have rights as well as yourself, and no right of yours can extend so far as to infringe theirs. 

But we may safely assume that no reader of these pages wishes torender himself disgusting or even disagreeable or to cut himself offfrom the society of his fellow-men. We address those who seek socialintercourse and desire to please. _They_ will not think our wordsamiss, even though they may seem rather "personal;" since we havetheir highest good in view, and speak in the most friendly spirit. Those who do not need our hints and suggestions under this head, andto whom none of our remarks may apply, will certainly have thecourtesy to excuse them for the sake of those to whom they will beuseful. 

II. --CLEANLINESS. 

"Cleanliness is akin to godliness, " it is said. It is not less closelyrelated to gentility. First of all, then, keep yourself scrupulouslyclean--not your hands and face merely, but your whole person, from thecrown of your head to the sole of your foot. Silk stockings may hidedirty feet and ankles from the eye, but they often reveal themselvesto another sense, when the possessor little dreams of such anexposure. It is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and bestrictly clean, than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richestclothing. A coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar, but dirt is essentially so. We do not here refer, of course, to one'scondition while engaged in his or her industrial occupation. Soiledhands and even a begrimed face are badges of honor in the field, theworkshop, or the kitchen, but in a country in which soap and waterabound, there is no excuse for carrying them into the parlor or thedining-room. 

A clean skin is as essential to health, beauty, and personal comfortas it is to decency; and without health and that perfect freedom fromphysical disquiet which comes only from the normal action of all thefunctions of the bodily organs, your behavior can never besatisfactory to yourself or agreeable to others. Let us urge you, then, to give this matter your first attention. 

1. _The Daily Bath. _

To keep clean you must bathe frequently. In the first place you shouldwash the whole body with pure soft water every morning on rising fromyour bed, rubbing it till dry with a coarse towel, and afterward usingfriction with the hands. If you have not been at all accustomed tocold bathing, commence with tepid water, lowering the temperature bydegrees till that which is perfectly cold becomes agreeable. In warmweather, comfort and cleanliness alike require still more frequentbathing. Mohammed made frequent ablutions a religious duty; and inthat he was right. The rank and fetid odors which exhale from a foulskin can hardly be neutralized by the sweetest incense of devotion. 

2. _Soap and Water. _

But the daily bath of which we have spoken is not sufficient. Inaddition to the pores from which exudes the watery fluid calledperspiration, the skin is furnished with innumerable minute openings, known as the sebaceous follicles, which pour over its surface a thinlimpid oil anointing it and rendering it soft and supple; but alsocausing the dust as well as the effete matter thrown out by the poresto adhere, and, if allowed to accumulate, finally obstructing itsfunctions and causing disease. It also, especially in warm weather, emits an exceedingly disagreeable odor. Pure cold water will notwholly remove these oily accumulations. The occasional use of soap andwarm or tepid water is therefore necessary; but all washings withsoapy or warm water should be followed by a thorough rinsing with purecold water. Use good, fine soap. The common coarser kinds aregenerally too strongly alkaline and have an unpleasant effect upon theskin. 

3. _The Feet. _

The feet are particularly liable to become offensively odoriferous, especially when the perspiration is profuse. Frequent washings withcold water, with the occasional use of warm water and soap, areabsolutely necessary to cleanliness. 

4. _Change of Linen. _

A frequent change of linen is another essential of cleanliness. Itavails little to wash the body if we inclose it the next minute insoiled garments. It is not in the power of every one to wear fine andelegant clothes, but we can all, under ordinary circumstances, affordclean shirts, drawers, and stockings. Never sleep in any garment wornduring the day; and your night-dress should be well aired everymorning. 

5. _The Nails. _

You will not, of course, go into company, or sit down to the table, with soiled hands, but unless you habituate yourself to a special careof them, more or less dirt will be found lodged under the nails. Cleanthem carefully every time you wash your hands, and keep them smoothlyand evenly cut. If you allow them to get too long they are liable tobe broken off, and become uneven and ragged, and if you pare them tooclosely they fail to protect the ends of the fingers. 

6. _The Head. _

The head is more neglected, perhaps, than any other part of the body. The results are not less disastrous here than elsewhere. Dandruffforms, dust accumulates, the scalp becomes diseased, the hair growsdry, and falls off and if the evil be not remedied, premature baldnessensues. The head should be thoroughly washed as often as cleanlinessdemands. This will not injure the hair, as many suppose, but, on thecontrary, will promote its growth and add to its beauty. If soap isused, however, it should be carefully rinsed off. If the hair iscarefully and _thoroughly_ brushed every morning, it will not requirevery frequent washings. If the scalp be kept in a healthy conditionthe hair will be moist, glossy, and luxuriant, and no oil or hair washwill be required; and these preparations generally do more harm thangood. Night-caps are most unwholesome and uncleanly contrivances, andshould be discarded altogether. They keep the head unnaturally warm, shut out the fresh air, and shut in those natural exhalations whichshould be allowed to pass off, and thus weaken the hair and render itmore liable to fall off. Ladies may keep their hair properly togetherduring repose by wearing a _net_ over it. 

7. _The Teeth. _

Do not forget the teeth. Cleanliness, health, a pure breath, and theintegrity and durability of those organs require that they bethoroughly and effectually scoured with the tooth-brush dipped in softwater, with the addition of a little soap, if necessary, everymorning. Brush them outside and inside, and in every possibledirection. You can not be too careful in this matter. After brushingrinse your mouth with cold water. A slighter brushing should be giventhem after each meal. Use an ivory tooth-pick or a quill to remove anyparticles of food that may be lodged between the teeth. 

There are, no doubt, original differences in teeth, as in other partsof the human system, some being more liable to decay than others; butthe simple means we have pointed out, if adopted in season andperseveringly applied, will preserve almost any teeth, in all theirusefulness and reality, till old age. If yours have been neglected, and some of them are already decayed, hasten to preserve theremainder. While you have _any_ teeth left, it is never too late tobegin to take care of them; and if you have children, do not, weentreat you, neglect _their_ teeth. If the first or temporary teethare cared for and preserved, they will be mainly absorbed by thesecond or permanent ones, and will drop out of themselves. The others, in that case, will come out regular and even. 

Beware of the teeth-powders, teeth-washes, and the like, advertised inthe papers. They are often even more destructive to the teeth than thesubstances they are intended to remove. If any teeth-powder isrequired, pure powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure;but if the teeth are kept clean, in the way we have directed, therewill be little occasion for any other dentrifices than pure water anda little soap. Your tooth-brushes should be rather soft; those whichare too hard injuring both the teeth and the gums. 

8. _The Breath. _

A bad breath arises more frequently than otherwise from neglected anddecayed teeth. If it is occasioned by a foul stomach, a pure diet, bathing, water injections, and a general attention to the laws ofhealth are required for its removal. 

III. --EATING AND DRINKING. 

Whatever has a bearing upon health has at least an indirect connectionwith manners; the reader will therefore excuse us for introducing herea few remarks which may seem, at the first glance, rather irrelevant. Sound lungs, a healthy liver, and a good digestion are as essential tothe right performance of our social duties as they are to our ownpersonal comfort; therefore a few words on eating and drinking, asaffecting these, will not be out of place. 

1. _What to Eat. _

An unperverted appetite is the highest authority in matters of diet. In fact, its decisions should be considered final, and without theprivilege of appeal. Nature makes no mistakes. 

The plant selects from the soil which its roots permeate, the chemicalelements necessary to its growth and perfect development, rejectingwith unerring certainty every particle which would prove harmful oruseless. The wild animal chooses with equal certainty the variouskinds of food adapted to the wants of its nature, never poisoningitself by eating or drinking any thing inimical to its life andhealth. The sense of taste and the wants of the system act in perfectharmony. So it should be with man. That which most perfectly gratifiesthe appetite should be the best adapted to promote health, strength, and beauty. 

But appetite, like all the other instincts or feelings of our nature, is liable to become perverted, and to lead us astray. We acquire arelish for substances which are highly hurtful, such as tobacco, ardent spirits, malt liquors, and the like. We have "sought out manyinventions, " to pander to false and fatal tastes, and too often eat, not to sustain life and promote the harmonious development of thesystem, but to poison the very fountains of our being and implant inour blood the seeds of disease. 

Attend to the demands of appetite, but use all your judgment indetermining whether it is a natural, undepraved craving of the systemwhich speaks, or an acquired and vicious taste, and give or withholdaccordingly; and, above all, never eat when you have _no appetite_. Want of appetite is equivalent to the most authoritative command to_eat nothing_, and we disregard it at our peril. Food, no matter howwholesome, taken into our stomachs under such circumstances, insteadof being digested and appropriated, becomes rank poison. _Eatingwithout appetite is one of the most fatal of common errors. _

We have no room, even if we had the ability and the desire, to discussthe comparative merits of the two opposing systems of diet--thevegetarian and the mixed. We shall consider the question offlesh-eating an open one. 

Your food should be adapted to the climate, season, and youroccupation. In the winter and in northern climates a larger proportionof the fatty or carboniferous elements are required than in summer andin southern latitudes. The Esquimaux, in his snow-built hut, swallowsimmense quantities of train-oil, without getting the dyspepsia; still, we do not recommend train-oil as an article of diet; neither can weindorse the eating of pork in any form; but these things are far lesshurtful in winter than in summer, and to those who labor in the openair than to the sedentary. 

Live well. A generous diet promotes vitality and capability foraction. "Good cheer is friendly to health. " But do not confound agenerous diet with what is usually called "rich" food. Let all yourdishes be nutritious, but plain, simple, and wholesome. Avoid highlyseasoned viands and very greasy food at all times, but particularly inwarm weather, also too much nutriment in the highly condensed forms ofsugar, syrup, honey, and the like. 

If you eat flesh, partake sparingly of it especially in summer. WeAmericans are the greatest flesh-eaters in the world, and it is notunreasonable to believe that there may be some connection between thisfact and the equally notorious one that we are the most unhealthypeople in the world. An untold amount of disease results from the toofree use of flesh during the hot months. Heat promotes putrefaction;and as this change in meat is very rapid in warm weather, we can notbe too careful not to eat that which is in the slightest degreetainted. Even when it goes into the stomach in a normal condition, there is danger; for if too much is eaten, or the digestive organs arenot sufficiently strong and active, the process of putrefaction maycommence in the stomach and diffuse a subtle poison through the wholesystem. 

_Hot_ biscuits; _hot_ griddle cakes, saturated with butter andStuart's syrup; and _hot_ coffee, scarcely modified at all by thesmall quantity of milk usually added, are among the most deleteriousarticles ever put upon a table. While these continue to be the staplesof our breakfasts, healthy stomachs and clear complexions will be rareamong us. Never eat or drink _any thing_ HOT. 

Good bread is an unexceptionable article of diet. The best is made ofunbolted wheat flour. A mixture of wheat and rye flour, or of cornmeal with either, makes excellent bread. The meal and flour should befreshly ground; they deteriorate by being kept long. If raised orfermented bread is required, hop yeast is the best ferment that can beused. [For complete directions for bread-making, see Dr. Trall's"Hydropathic Cook-Book. "]

The exclusive use of fine or bolted flour for bread, biscuits, andcakes of all kinds, is exceedingly injurious to health. The _lignin_or woody fiber which forms the bran of grains is just as essential toa perfect and healthful nutrition as are starch, sugar, gum, andfibrin, and the rejection of this element is one of the mostmischievous errors of modern cookery. 

Johnny-cake, or corn bread, is an excellent article, which is not yetfully appreciated. It is palatable and wholesome. Hominy, samp, cracked wheat, oatmeal mush, and boiled rice should have a high placeon your list of edibles. Beans and peas should be more generally eatenthan they are. They are exceedingly nutritious, and very palatable. InNew England, "pork and beans" hold the place of honor, but elsewherein this country they are almost unknown. Leaving out the pork (which, personally, we hold in more than Jewish abhorrence), nothing can bebetter, provided they are eaten in moderation and with a properproportion of less nutritious food. They should be well baked in pure, soft water. A sufficient quantity of salt to season them, with theaddition of a little sweet milk, cream, or butter while baking, leavesnothing to be desired. If meat is wanted, however, a slice ofbeefsteak, laid upon the surface, will serve a better purpose thanpork. Potatoes, beets, turnips, carrots, parsneps, and cabbages aregood in their place. 

But Nature indicates very plainly that fruits and berries, in theirseason, should have a prominent place in our dietary. They areproduced in abundance, and every healthy stomach instinctively cravesthem. Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, whortleberries, cherries, plums, grapes, figs, apples, pears, peaches, and melons are"food fit for gods. " We pity those whose perverted taste or digestionleads to their rejection. But some are _afraid_ to eat fruits andberries, particularly in midsummer, just the time when nature andcommon sense say they should be eaten most freely. They have the fearof cholera, dysentery, and similar diseases before their eyes, andhave adopted the popular but absurd idea that fruit eating predisposesto disorders of the stomach and bowels. Exactly the reverse is thefact. There are no better preventives of such diseases than _ripe_fruits and berries, eaten in proper quantities and at proper timesUnripe fruits should be scrupulously avoided, and that which is in anymeasure decayed as scarcely less objectionable. Fruit and berriesshould make a part of every meal in summer. In winter they are lessnecessary, but may be eaten with advantage, if within our reach; andthey are easily preserved in various ways. 

We might write a volume on the subject of food, but these generalhints must suffice. If you would pursue the inquiry, read O. S. Fowler's "Physiology, Animal and Mental, " and the "HydropathicCook-Book, " already referred to. 

2. _When to Eat. _

Eat when the stomach, through the instinct of appetite, demands a newsupply of food. If all your habits are regular, this will be at aboutthe same hours each day; and regularity in the time of taking ourmeals is very important. Want of attention to this point is a frequentcause of derangement of the digestive organs. We can not stop todiscuss the question how many meals per day we should eat; but whetheryou eat one, two, or three, never, under ordinary circumstances, takelunches. The habit of eating between meals is a most pernicious one. Not even your children must be indulged in it, as you value theirhealth, comfort, and good behavior. 

3. _How Much to Eat. _

We can not tell you, by weight or measure, how much to eat, the rightquantity depending much upon age, sex, occupation, season, andclimate, but the quantity is quite as important as the quality. Appetite would be a sure guide in both respects were it not so oftenperverted and diseased. As a general rule, we eat too much. It isbetter to err in the other direction. An uncomfortable feeling offullness, or of dullness and stupor after a meal is a sure sign ofover-eating, so whatever and whenever you eat, _eat slowly, masticateyour food well_, and DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH. 

4. _Drink. _

If we eat proper food, and in proper quantity, we are seldom thirsty. Inordinate thirst indicates a feverish state of either the stomach orthe general system. It is pretty sure to follow a too hearty meal. 

Water is the proper drink for everybody and for every thing that livesor grows. It should be pure and soft. Many diseases arise wholly fromthe use of unwholesome water. If you drink tea (which we do notrecommend), let it be the best of black tea, and _not_ strong. Coffee, if drunk at all, should be diluted with twice its quantity of boiledmilk, and well sweetened with white sugar. 

IV. --BREATHING. 

Breathing is as necessary as eating. If we cease to breathe, ourbodies cease to live. If we only _half_ breathe, as is often the case, we only half live. The human system requires a constant supply ofoxygen to keep up the vital processes which closely resemblecombustion, of which oxygen is the prime supporter. If the supply isinsufficient, the fire of life wanes. The healthy condition of thelungs also requires that they be completely expanded by the airinhaled. The imperfect breathing of many persons fails to accomplishthe required inflation, and the lungs become diseased for want oftheir natural action. Full, deep breathing and pure air are asessential to health, happiness, and the right performance of ourduties, whether individual, political, or social, as pure food andtemperate habits of eating and drinking are. Attend, then, to thelungs as well as the stomach. Breathe good air. Have all your rooms, and especially your sleeping apartment well ventilated. The air whichhas been vitiated by breathing or by the action of fire, whichabstracts the oxygen and supplies its place with carbonic acid gas, isa _subtle poison_. 

V. --EXERCISE. 

The amount of physical exercise required varies with age, sex, andtemperament; but no person can enjoy vigorous health without aconsiderable degree of active bodily exertion. Four or five hours perday spent in the open air, in some labor or amusement which calls forthe exercise of the muscles of the body, is probably no more than aproper average. We can live with less--that is, for a short time; butNature's laws are inexorable, and we can not escape the penaltyaffixed to their violation. Those whose occupations are sedentaryshould seek amusements which require the exertion of the physicalpowers, and should spend as much as possible of their leisure time inthe open air. We must, however, use good judgment in this matter aswell as in eating. Too much exercise at once, or that which is fitfuland violent, is often exceedingly injurious to those whose occupationshave accustomed them to little physical exertion of any kind. 

The women of our country are suffering incalculably for want of properexercise. No other single cause perhaps is doing so much to destroyhealth and beauty, and deteriorate the race, as this. "Your women arevery handsome, " Frederika Bremer said, one day, "but they are toowhite; they look as if they grew in the shade. " A sad truth. Ladies, if you would be healthy, beautiful, and attractive--if you would fityourselves to be good wives, and the mothers of strong and noble men, you _must_ take an adequate amount of exercise in the open air. _Thisshould be an every-day duty. _

VI. --THE COMPLEXION. 

Every person, and especially every lady, desires a clear complexion. To secure this, follow the foregoing directions in reference tocleanliness, eating, drinking, breathing, and exercise. The samerecipe serves for ruby lips and rosy cheeks. These come and go withhealth, and health depends upon obedience to the laws of ourconstitution. 

VII. --GENERAL HINTS. 

Few of us are free from disagreeable habits of which we are hardlyconscious, so seemingly natural have they become to us. It is theoffice of friendship, though not always a pleasant one, to point themout. It is our business to assume that office here, finding our excusein the necessity of the case. Our bad habits not only injureourselves, but they give offense to others, and indirectly injure themalso. 

1. _Tobacco. _

Ladies, in this country, do not use tobacco, so they may skip thissection. A large and increasing number of gentlemen may do the same;but if you use tobacco, in any forth, allow us to whisper a usefulhint or two in your ear. 

Smoking, snuff-taking, and especially chewing, are bad habits at best, and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refinedpeople, and especially to ladies. You have the same right to smoke, take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of afilthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in eithercase, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other peopleby their exhibition in society. Smoke if you will, chew, take snuff(against our earnest advice, however), make yourself generally andparticularly disagreeable, but you must suffer the consequences--thesocial outlawry which must result. Shall we convert our parlors intotobacco shops, risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from therandom shots of your disgusting saliva, and fill the whole atmosphereof our house with a pungent stench, to the discomfort and disgust ofeverybody else, merely for the pleasure of your company? We haverights as well as you, one of which is to exclude from our circle allpersons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us. You talk ofrights. You can not blame others for exercising theirs. 

There are degrees here as everywhere else. One may chew a _little_, smoke an _occasional_ cigar, and take a pinch of snuff _now_ and_then_, and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence ofothers, and is very careful to purify his person before going intocompany, he may confine the bad effects, which he can not escape, _mostly_ to his own person. But he must not smoke in any parlor, orsitting-room, or dining-room, or sleeping chamber, or in the street, and particularly not in the presence of ladies, _anywhere_. 

2. _Spitting. _

"The use of tobacco has made us a nation of spitters, " as some one hastruly remarked. Spitting is a private act, and tobacco users are notalone in violating good taste and good manners by hawking and spittingin company. You should never be seen to spit. Use your handkerchiefcarefully and so as not to be noticed, or, in case of necessity, leavethe room. 

3. _Gin and Gentility. _

The spirit and tenor of our remarks on tobacco will apply to the useof ardent spirits. The fumes of gin, whisky, and rum are, if possible, worse than the scent of tobacco. They must on no account be broughtinto company. If a man (this is another section which women may skip)will make a beast of himself, and fill his blood with liquid poison, he must, if he desires admission into good company, do it eitherprivately or with companions whose senses and appetites are asdepraved as his own. 

4. _Onions, etc. _

All foods or drinks which taint the breath or cause disagreeableeructations should be avoided by persons going into company. Onionsemit so very disagreeable an odor that no truly polite person will eatthem when liable to inflict their fumes upon others. Particular careshould be taken to guard against a bad breath from _any_ cause. 

5. _Several Items. _

Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, orperform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. Allthese things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of yourown room. To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the head or anypart of the person in company is still worse. Watch yourselfcarefully, and if you have any such habits, break them up at once. These may seem little things, but they have their weight, and go farin determining the character of the impression we make upon thosearound us. 

II. 

DRESS. 

 From little matters let us pass to less, And lightly touch the mysteries of dress; The outward forms the inner man reveal; We guess the pulp before we eat the peel. --_O. W. Holmes. _

I. --THE LANGUAGE OF DRESS. 

Dress has its language, which is, or may be, read and understood byall. It is one of the forms in which we naturally give expression toour tastes, our constructive faculties, our reason, our feelings, ourhabits--in a word, to our character, as a whole. This expression isoften greatly modified by the arbitrary laws of Fashion, and bycircumstances of time, place, and condition, which we can not whollycontrol; but can hardly be entirely falsified. Even that arch tyrant, the reigning _Mode_, whatever it may be, leaves us little room forchoice in materials, forms, and colors, and the choice we makeindicates our prominent traits of character. 

II. --THE USES OF DRESS. 

"Dress, " that admirable Art Journal the _Crayon_ says, "has twofunctions--to clothe and to ornament; and while we can not lose sightof either point, we must not attribute to the one a power whichbelongs to the other. The essential requirement of dress is to coverand make comfortable the body, and of two forms of dress which fulfillthis function equally well, that is the better which is most accordantwith the laws of beauty. But fitness must in nowise be interferedwith; and the garb which infringes on this law gives us pain ratherthan pleasure. We believe that it will be found that fitness andbeauty, so far from requiring any sacrifice for combination, are foundeach in the highest degree where both are most fully obtained--thatthe fittest, most comfortable dress is that which is most graceful orbecoming. Fitness is the primary demand; and _the dress that appearsuncomfortable is untasteful_. 

"But in the secondary function of dress, ornamentation, there areseveral diverse objects to be attained--dignity, grace, vivacity, brilliancy, are qualities distinguishing different individuals, andindicating the impression they wish to make on society, and areexpressed by different combinations of the elements of beauty, line, or form, and color. When the appareling of the outer being is in mostcomplete harmony with the mental constitution, the taste is fullest. "

III. --THE ART OF DRESS. 

True art adapts dress to its uses, as indicated in the foregoingextract. It is based on universal principles fundamental to all art. 

The art-writer already quoted says, very truly, that "Dress is alwaysto be considered as secondary to the person. " This is a fundamentalmaxim in the art of costume, but is often lost sight of, and dressmade _obtrusive_ at the expense of the individuality of the wearer. Aman's vest or cravat must not seem a too important part of him. Dressmay heighten beauty, but it can not create it. If you are not betterand more beautiful than your clothes you are, indeed, a man or a womanof straw. 

The next principle to be regarded is the _fitness_ of your costume, inits forms materials, and colors, to your person and circumstances, andto the conditions of the time, place and occasion on which it is to beworn. Fashion often compels us to violate this principle, and dressin the most absurd, incongruous, unbecoming, and uncomfortable style. A little more self-respect and independence, however, would enable usto resist many of her most preposterous enactments. But Fashion is notresponsible for all the incongruities in dress with which we meet. They are often the result of bad taste and affectation. 

The first demand of this law of fitness is, that your costume shallaccord with your person. The young and the old, we all instinctivelyknow, should not dress alike. Neither should the tall and the short, the dark and the light, the pale and the rosy, the grave and the gay, the tranquil and the vivacious. Each variety of form, color, andcharacter has its appropriate style; but our space here is too limitedto allow us to do more than drop a hint toward what each requires, toproduce the most harmonious and effective combination. In anotherwork, [A] now in the course of preparation, this important subject willbe treated in detail. 

"In form, simplicity and long, unbroken lines give dignity, whilecomplicated and short lines express vivacity. Curves, particularly iflong and sweeping, give grace while straight lines and angles indicatepower and strength. In color, unity of tint gives repose--if somber, gravity but if light and clear, then a joyous serenity--variety oftint giving vivacity, and if contrasted, brilliancy. "

Longitudinal stripes in a lady's dress make her appear taller than shereally is, and are therefore appropriate for persons of short stature. Tall women, for this reason, should never wear them. Flounces arebecoming to tall persons, but not to short ones. The colors wornshould be determined by the complexion, and should harmonize with it. "Ladies with delicate rosy complexions bear white and blue better thandark colors, while sallow hues of complexion will not bear thesecolors near them, and require dark, quiet, or grave colors to improvetheir appearance. Yellow is the most trying and dangerous of all, andcan only be worn by the rich-toned, healthy-looking brunette. "

In the second place, there should be harmony between your dress andyour circumstances. It should accord with your means, your house, yourfurniture, the place in which you reside, and the society in which youmove. 

Thirdly, your costume should be suited to the time, place, andoccasion on which it is to be worn. That summer clothes should not beworn in winter, or winter clothes in summer, every one sees clearlyenough. The law of fitness as imperatively demands that you shouldhave one dress for the kitchen, the field, or the workshop, andanother, and quite a different one, for the parlor; one for the streetand another for the carriage, one for a ride on horseback and anotherfor a ramble in the country. Long, flowing, and even trailing skirtsare beautiful and appropriate in the parlor, but in the muddy streets, draggling in the filth, and embarrassing every movement of the wearer, or in the country among the bushes and briers, they lose all theirbeauty and grace, because no longer fitting. The prettiest costume wehave ever seen for a shopping excursion or a walk in the city, andespecially for a ramble in the country, is a short dress or frockreaching to the knee, and trowsers of the common pantaloon form, butsomewhat wider. Full Turkish trowsers might be worn with this dress, but are less convenient. The waist or body of the dress is made with ayoke and belt, and pretty full. The sleeves should be gathered into aband and buttoned at the wrist. A _saque_ or a _basque_ of a differentcolor from the waist has a fine effect as a part of this costume. Addto it a gipsy hat and good substantial shoes or boots, and you maywalk with ease, grace, and pleasure. This was the working and walkingcostume of the women of the North American Phalanx, and is still wornon the domain which once belonged to that Association, though theinstitution which gave it its origin has ceased to exist. If youreside in a place where you can adopt this as your industrial andwalking costume, without too much notoriety and odium, try it. Youmust judge of this for yourself. We are telling you what is fitting, comfortable, and healthful, and therefore, in its place, beautiful, and not what it is expedient for you to wear. The time is coming whensuch a costume may be worn anywhere. Rational independence, goodtaste, and the study of art are preparing the way for the completeoverthrow of arbitrary fashion. Help us to hasten the time when bothwomen and men shall be permitted to dress as the eternal principles, harmony, and beauty dictate, and be no longer the slaves of the tailorand the dressmaker. 

But without adopting any innovations liable to shock staidconservatism or puritanic prudery, you may still, in a good measure, avoid the incongruities which we are now compelled to witness, andmake your costume accord with place and occupation. 

In the field, garden, and workshop, gentlemen can wear nothing morecomfortable and graceful than the blouse. It may be worn loose orconfined by a belt. If your occupation is a very dusty one, wearoveralls. In the counting-room and office, gentlemen wear frock-coatsor sack coats. They need not be of very fine material, and should notbe of any garish pattern. In your study or library, and about thehouse generally, on ordinary occasions, a handsome dressing-gown iscomfortable and elegant. 

A lady, while performing the morning duties of her household may weara plain loose dress, made high in the neck, and with long sleevesfastened at the wrist. It must not look slatternly, and may beexceedingly beautiful and becoming. 

In reference to ornament, "the law of dress, " to quote ourartist-friend again, "is, that where you want the eye of a spectatorto rest (for we all dress for show), you should concentrate yourdecoration, leaving the parts of the apparel to which you do not wantattention called, as plain and negative as possible--not ugly, as somepeople, in an affectation of plainness, do (for you have no right tooffend the eye of your fellow-man with any thing which is ugly), butsimply negative. "

IV. --MATERIALS, ETC. 

The materials of which your clothes are made should be the best thatyour means will allow. One generally exercises a very bad economy andworse taste in wearing low-priced and coarse materials. For yourworking costume, the materials should of course correspond with theusage to which they are to be subjected. They should be strong anddurable, but need not therefore be either very coarse or at all ugly. As a general rule, it costs no more to dress well than ill. 

A gentleman's shirts should always be fine, clean, and well-fitted. Itis better to wear a coarse or threadbare coat than a disreputableshirt. The better taste and finer instincts of the ladies will requireno hint in reference to their "most intimate appareling. " True taste, delicacy, and refinement regards the under clothing as scrupulously asthat which is exposed to view. 

The coverings of the head and the feet are important and should by nomeans be inferior to the rest of your apparel. Shoes are better thanboots, except in cases where the latter are required for theprotection of the feet and ankles against water, snow, or injury frombriers, brambles, and the like. Ladies' shoes for walking should besubstantial enough to keep the feet dry and warm. If neatly made, andwell-fitting, they need not be clumsy. Thin shoes, worn on the dampground or pavement, have carried many a beautiful woman to her grave. If you wish to have corns and unshapely feet, wear tight shoes; theynever fail to produce those results. 

The fashionable fur hat, in its innumerable but always ugly forms, is, in the eye of taste, an absurd and unsightly covering for the head;and it is hardly less uncomfortable and unhealthful than ugly. Thefine, soft, and more picturesque felt hats now, we are glad to say, coming more and more into vogue, are far more comfortable andhealthful. A light, fine straw hat is the best for summer. 

The bonnets of the ladies, in their fashionable forms, are only alittle less ugly and unbecoming than the fur hats of the gentlemen. Abroad-brimmed or gipsy hat is far more becoming to most women than thecommon bonnet. We hope to live to see both "stove-pipe hats" and"sugar-scoop bonnets" abolished; but, in the mean time let those wearthem who _must_. 

V. --MRS. MANNERS ON DRESS. 

Mrs. Manners, the highest authority we can possibly quote in suchmatters, has the following hints to girls, which we can not denyourselves the pleasure of copying, though they may seem, in part, arepetition of remarks already made:

"Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness, is _all_ that is _necessary_--that is the fabled cestus of Venus whichgave beauty to its wearer. Good taste involves _suitable fabrics--aneat and becoming 'fitting' to her figure--colors suited to hercomplexion, and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one'sclothes_. A worsted dress in a warm day, or a white one in a cold day, or a light, thin one in a windy day, are all in _bad_ taste. Very fineor very delicate dresses worn in the street, or very highly ornamentedclothes worn to church or to shop in, are in _bad_ taste. Very longdresses worn in muddy or dusty weather, even if long dresses are the_fashion_, are still in _bad_ taste. 

"Deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste; very fewpersons are careful enough in selecting gloves. Light shoes and darkdresses, white stockings and dark dresses, dark stockings and lightdresses, are not indicative of good taste. A girl with neatly andproperly dressed feet, with neat, well-fitting gloves, smoothlyarranged hair, and a clean, well-made dress, who walks well, andspeaks well, and, above all, acts politely and kindly, _is a lady_, and no _wealth_ is required here. Fine clothes and fine airs areabashed before such propriety and good taste. Thus the poorest may beso attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest; nothing ismore _vulgar_ than the idea that money makes a lady, or that fineclothes can do it. "

VI. --WEARING THE HAIR AND BEARD. 

The hair and beard, in one of their aspects, belong to the dress. Inreference to the style of wearing them, consult the general principlesof taste. A man to whom nature has given a handsome beard, deformshimself sadly by shaving--at least, that is our opinion; and on thispoint fashion and good taste agree. The full beard is now more commonthan the shaven face in all our large cities. 

In the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a greatdeal of taste and judgment. The style should vary with the differentforms of face. Lardner's "Young Ladies' Manual" has the followinghints to the gentler sex. Gentlemen can modify them to suit theircase:

"After a few experiments, a lady may very easily decide what mode ofdressing her hair, and what head-dress renders her face mostattractive. 

"Ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one. On theother hand, the fashion of putting the hair smoothly, and drawing itback on either side, is becoming to few; it has a look of vanityinstead of simplicity: the face must do every thing for it, which isasking too much, especially as hair, in its pure state, is theornament intended for it by nature. Hair is to the human aspect whatfoliage is to the landscape. 

"Light hair is generally most becoming when curled. For a round face, the curls should be made in short, half ringlets, reaching a littlebelow the ears. For an oval face, long and thick ringlets aresuitable; but if the face be thin and sharp, the ringlets should belight, and not too long, nor too many in number. 

"When dark hair is curled, the ringlets should never fall in heavymasses upon the shoulders. Open braids are very beautiful when made ofdark hair; they are also becoming to light-haired persons. A simpleand graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locksbehind the ears, permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringletson either side behind. 

"Another beautiful mode of dressing the hair, and one very appropriatein damp weather, when it will keep in curl, is to loop up the ringletswith small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears, and pass a light band of braided hair over them. 

"Persons with very long, narrow heads may wear the hair knotted verylow at the back of the neck. If the head be long, but not very narrow, the back hair may be drawn to one side, braided in a thick braid, andwound around the head. When the head is round, the hair should beformed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head. If the braidbe made to resemble a basket, and a few curls permitted to fall fromwithin it, the shape of the head is much improved. "

VII. --ART _VS. _ FASHION. 

Observe that we have been laying down some of the maxims deduced fromthe principles of art and taste, in their application to dress, andnot promulgating the edicts of Fashion. If there is a lack of harmonyon some points, between the two, it is not our fault. We haveendeavored to give you some useful hints in reference to the beautifuland the fitting in costume, based on a higher law than the enactmentsof the fashion-makers. You must judge for yourself how far you canmake the latter bend to the former. We have been talking of dress asan individual matter. In future chapters we shall have occasion torefer to it in its relation to the usages of society. 

VIII. --SIGNS OF "THE GOOD TIME COMING. "

N. P. Willis, in the _Home Journal_, writing on the dress-reformagitation, thus closes his disquisition:

"We repeat, that we see signs which look to us as if the presentexcitement as to _one_ fashion were turning into a universal inquiryas to the sense or propriety of _any fashion at all_. When the subjectshall have been fully discussed, and public attention fully awakened, common sense will probably take the direction of the matter, andopinion will settle in some shape which, at least, may reject formerexcesses and absurdities. Some moderate similarity of dress isdoubtless necessary, and there are proper times and places for longdresses and short dresses. These and other points the ladies arelikely to come to new decisions about. While they consult health, cleanliness, and convenience, however, we venture to express a hopethat they will _get rid of the present slavish uniformity_--that whatis becoming to each may be worn without fear of unfashionableness, andthat in this way we may see every woman dressed somewhat differentlyand to her own best advantage, and the _proportion of beauty largelyincreased_, as it would, thereby, most assuredly be. "

FOOTNOTE:

[A] "Hints toward Physical Perfection; or, How to Acquire and RetainBeauty, Grace, and Strength, and Secure Long Life and PerpetualYouth. "

III. 

SELF-CULTURE

 There is no man who can so easily and so naturally become in all points a Gentleman Knight, without fear and without reproach, as a true American Republican. --_James Parton. _

I. -MORAL AND SOCIAL TRAINING. 

Having given due attention to your personal habits and dress, considerwhat special errors still remain to be corrected, or what deficienciesto be supplied, and carefully and perseveringly apply yourself to therequired self-training. 

If you are sensible of an inadequate development of any of thosefaculties or feelings on which good manners are based, set yourself atonce about the work of cultivation, remembering that the legitimateexercise of any organ or function necessarily tends to itsdevelopment. Look first to conscientiousness. It is hardly possiblefor you to acquire genuine good manners without an acute sense ofequity. Accustom yourself to a sacred regard for the rights of others, even in the minutest matters, and in the most familiar intercourse ofthe family or social circle. In a similar manner cultivateBenevolence, Veneration, Adhesiveness, Agreeableness, Ideality, andthe moral, social, and esthetic faculties in general. Go out of yourway, if necessary, to perform acts of kindness and friendship; neveromit the "thank you" which is due for the slightest possible favor, whether rendered by the highest or the lowest; be always bland andgenial; respect times, places, observances, and especially persons;and put yourself in the way of all possible elevating and refininginfluences. Manners have their origin in the mind and the heart. Manners do not make the man, as is sometimes asserted; but the manmakes the manners. It is true, however, that the manners react uponmind and heart, continually developing and improving the qualities outof which they spring. 

You are placed in a particular community, or you are invited or wishto gain admittance into a certain circle. Different communities andcircles require, to some extent, different qualifications. Ascertainwhat you lack and acquire it as speedily as possible; but rememberthat good sense and good nature are out of place in no company. 

II. --LANGUAGE. 

Conversation plays an important part in the intercourse of society. Itis a great and valuable accomplishment to be able to talk well. Cultivate language and the voice. Learn to express yourself withcorrectness, ease, and elegance. This subject is worthy of all thetime and study you can give to it. "How to Talk: a Pocket Manual ofConversation and Debate, " which forms one of this series of"Hand-Books for Home Improvement, " will give you all necessary aid inthis department. 

III. --POSITION AND MOVEMENT. 

Study also the graces of manner, motion, and position. Grace isnatural, no doubt, but most of us have nearly lost sight of nature. Itis often with the greatest difficulty that we find our way back to herpaths. It seems a simple and easy thing to walk, and a still easierand simpler thing to stand or sit, but not one in twenty performeither of these acts with ease and grace. There are a hundred littlethings connected with attitude, movement, the carriage of the arms, the position of the feet and the like, which, though seeminglyunimportant are really essential to elegance and ease. Never despisethese little things, or be ashamed to acquire the smallest grace bystudy and practice. 

You desire to be a person of "good standing" in society. How _do_ youstand? We refer now to the artistic or esthetic point of view. If youare awkward, you are more likely to manifest your awkwardness instanding than in walking. Do you know where to put your feet and whatto do with your hands? In the absence of any better rule or example, try to forget your limbs, and let them take care of themselves. Butobserve the attitudes which sculptors give to their statues; and studyalso those of children, which are almost always graceful, becausenatural. Avoid, on the one hand, the stiffness of the soldier, and, onthe other, the ape-like suppleness of the dancing-master; and letthere be no straining, no fidgeting, no uneasy shifting of position. You should stand on _both_ feet, bearing a little more heavily on onethan the other. The same general principles apply to the sittingposture. This may be either graceful, dignified, and elegant, orawkward, abject, and uncouth. The latter class of qualities may be gotrid of and the former acquired, and depend upon it, it is a matter ofsome consequence which of them characterizes your position andmovements. Walking is not so difficult an accomplishment as standingand sitting, but should receive due attention. It has a very closeconnection with character, and either of them may be improved ordeteriorated through the other. A close observer and a sensible andtrustworthy monitor of their own sex thus enumerates some of thecommon faults of women in their "carriage, " or manner of walking:

"Slovenliness in walking characterizes some. They go shuffling along, precisely as if their shoes were down at the heel--"slipshod"--andthey could not lift up their feet in consequence. If it is dusty orsandy, they kick up the dust before them and fill their skirts withit. This is exceedingly ungraceful. If I were a gentleman, I really donot think I could marry a lady who walked like this; she would appearso very undignified, and I could not be proud of her. 

"Some have another awkwardness. They lift up their feet so high thattheir knees are sent out before them showing the movement through thedress. They always seem to be leaving their skirts behind them, instead of carrying them gracefully about them. Some saunter along soloosely they seem to be hung on wires; others are as stiff as if theysupposed only straight lines were agreeable to the eye; and others, again, run the chin forward considerably in advance of the breast, looking very silly and deficient in self-respect. 

"Sometimes a lady walks so as to turn up her dress behind every timeshe puts her foot back, and I have seen a well-dressed woman made tolook very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing herelbows too far behind her. Some hold their hands up to the waist, andpress their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were gluedthere; others swing them backward and forward, as a business man walksalong the street. _Too short_ steps detract from dignity very much, forming a mincing pace; too long steps are masculine. 

"Some walk upon the ball of the foot very flatly and clumsily; otherscome down upon the heel as though a young elephant was moving; andothers, again, ruin their shoes and their appearance by walking uponthe side of the foot. Many practice a stoop called the Grecian bend, and when they are thirty, will pass well, unless the face be seen, forfifty years' old. "

Gymnastics, dancing, and the military drill are excellent auxiliariesin the work of physical training, though all of them may be, andconstantly are, abused. We can not illustrate their application here. They will receive the attention they deserve in "Hints toward PhysicalPerfection, " already referred to as in preparation. 

IV. --SELF-COMMAND. 

Without perfect self-control you are constantly liable to do somethingamiss, and your other social qualifications will avail little. Youmust not only be fully conscious who you are, what you are, where youare, and what you are about, but you must also have an easy andcomplete control of all your words and actions, and feel _at home_wherever you are. You are liable to lose this self-command eitherthrough bashfulness or excitement. The former is one of the greatestobstacles with which a majority of young people have to contend. Itcan be overcome by _resolute effort_ and the cultivation ofself-respect and self-reliance. Do not allow it to keep you out ofsociety. You will not conquer it by such a course. You might asreasonably expect to learn to swim without going into the water. 

V. --OBSERVATION. 

One of the best means of improvement in manners is observation. Incompany, where you are in doubt in reference to any rule or form, bequiet and observe what others do, and govern your conduct by theirs;but except in mere external forms, beware of a servile imitation. Seekto understand the principles which underlie the observances youwitness, and to become imbued with the spirit of the society (if good)in which you move, rather than to copy particulars in the manners ofany one. 

VI. --PRACTICAL LESSONS. 

But the most important instrumentality for the promotion of theexternals of good manners is constant practice in the actual every-dayintercourse of society; and without this our instructions and yourstudy will both be thrown away. Begin now, to-day, with the nextperson you meet or address. 

IV. 

FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES. 

 Courtesy is the beautiful part of morality, justice carried to the utmost, rectitude refined, magnanimity in trifles. --_Life Illustrated. _

I. --MANNERS AND MORALS. 

Good manners and good morals are founded on the same eternalprinciples of right, and are only different expressions of the samegreat truths. Both grow out of the necessities of our existence andrelations. We have individual rights based on the fact of ourindividual being; and we have social duties resulting from ourconnection, in the bonds of society, with other individuals who havesimilar rights. Morals and manners alike, while they justify us inasserting and maintaining our own rights, require us scrupulously torespect, in word and act, the rights of others. It is true that theformer, in the common comprehension of the term, is satisfied withsimple justice in all our relations, while the latter often requiressomething more than the strictest conscientiousness can demand--ayielding of more than half the road--an exercise of the sentiment ofbenevolence, as well as of equity; but the highest morality reallymakes the same requisition, for it includes politeness, and recognizesdeeds of kindness as a duty. 

II. --RIGHTS. 

In this country we need no incitements to the assertion andmaintenance of our rights, whether individual or national. We areready at all times to do battle for them either with the tongue, thepen, or the sword, as the case may require. Even women have discoveredthat _they_ have rights, and he must be a bold man indeed who darescall them in question. Yes, we all, men, women, and children, haverights, and are forward enough in claiming then. Are we equally readyto respect the rights of others?

III. --DUTIES. 

Out of rights grow duties; the first of which is to live an honest, truthful, self-loyal life, acting and speaking always and everywherein accordance with the laws of our being, as revealed in our ownphysical and mental organization. It is by the light of this fact thatwe must look upon all social requirements, whether in dress, manners, or morals. All that is fundamental and genuine in these will be foundto harmonize with universal principles, and consequently with ourprimary duty in reference to ourselves. 

1. _The Senses. _

Whenever and wherever we come in contact with our fellow-men, therearises a question of rights, and consequently of duties. We havealluded incidentally to some of them, in speaking of habits and dress. The senses of each individual have their rights, and it is your dutyto respect them. The eye has a claim upon you for so much of beauty inform, color, arrangement, position, and movement as you are able topresent to it. A French author has written a book, the aim of which isto show that it is the duty of a pretty woman to look pretty. It isthe duty of _all_ women, and all men too, to look and behave just aswell as they can, and whoever fails in this, fails in good manners andin duty. The ear demands agreeable tones and harmonious combinationsof tones--pleasant words and sweet songs. If you indulge in loudtalking, in boisterous and untimely laughter, or in profane or vulgarlanguage, or sing out of tune, you violate its rights and offend goodmanners. The sense of smell requires pleasant odors for its enjoyment. Fragrance is its proper element. To bring the fetid odor of unwashedfeet or filthy garments, or the stench of bad tobacco or worse whisky, or the offensive scent of onions or garlics within its sphere, is anact of impoliteness. The sense of taste asks for agreeable flavors, and has a right to the best we can give in the way of palatable foodsand drinks. The sense of feeling, though less cultivated and not sosensitive as the others, has its rights too, and is offended by toogreat coarseness, roughness, and hardness. It has a claim on us for ahigher culture. 

2. _The Faculties. _

And if the senses have their rights, we must admit that the higherfaculties and feelings of our nature are at least equally dowered inthis respect. You can not trespass upon one of them without aviolation of good manners. We can not go into a complete exposition ofthe "bill of rights" of each. You can analyze them for yourself, andlearn the nature of their claims upon you. In the mean time, we willtouch upon a point or two here and there. 

3. _Opinions. _

Each person has a right to his or her opinions, and to the expressionof them _on proper occasions_, and there is no duty more binding uponus all than the most complete and respectful toleration. The author of"The Illustrated Manners Book" truly says:

"_Every denial of, or interference with, the personal freedom orabsolute rights of another, is a violation of good manners. _ He whopresumes to censure me for my religious belief, or want of belief; whomakes it a matter of criticism or reproach that I am a Theist orAtheist, Trinitarian or Unitarian, Catholic or Protestant, Pagan orChristian, Jew, Mohammedan, or Mormon, is guilty of rudeness andinsult. If any of these modes of belief make me intolerant orintrusive, he may resent such intolerance or repel such intrusion; butthe basis of all true politeness and social enjoyment is the mutualtolerance of personal rights. "

4. _The Sacredness of Privacy. _

Here is another passage from the author just quoted which is so muchto the point that we can not forbear to copy it:

"One of the rights most commonly trespassed upon constituting aviolent breach of good manners, is the right of privacy, or of thecontrol of one's own person and affairs. There are places in thiscountry where there exists scarcely the slightest recognition of thisright. A man or woman bolts into your house without knocking. No roomis sacred unless you lock the door, and an exclusion would be aninsult. Parents intrude upon children, and children upon parents. Thehusband thinks he has a right to enter his wife's room, and the wifewould feel injured if excluded, by night or day, from her husband's. It is said that they even open each other's letters, and claim, as aright, that neither should have any secrets from the other. 

"It in difficult to conceive of such a state of intense barbarism in acivilized country, such a denial of the simplest and most primitiverights, such an utter absence of delicacy and good manners; and had wenot been assured on good authority that such things existed, weshould consider any suggestions respecting them needless andimpertinent. 

"Each person in a dwelling should, if possible, have a room as sacredfrom intrusion as the house is to the family. No child, grown to yearsof discretion, should be outraged by intrusion. No relation, howeverintimate, can justify it. So the trunks, boxes, packets, papers, andletters of every individual, locked or unlocked, sealed or unsealed, are sacred. It is ill manners even to open a book-case, or to read awritten paper lying open, without permission expressed or implied. Books in an open case or on a center-table, cards in a card-case, andnewspapers, are presumed to be open for examination. Be careful whereyou go, what you read, and what you handle, particularly in privateapartments. "

This right to privacy extends to one's business, his personalrelations, his thoughts, and his feelings. _Don't intrude_; and always"mind your own business, " which means, by implication, that you mustlet other people's business alone. 

5. _Conformity. _

You must conform, to such an extent as not to annoy and give offense, to the customs, whether in dress or other matters, of the circle inwhich you move. This conformity is an implied condition in the socialcompact. It is a practical recognition of the right of others, andshows merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings. If youcan not sing in tune with the rest, or on the same key, remain silent. You may be right and the others wrong but that does not alter thecase. Convince them, if you can, and bring them to your pitch, butnever mar even a low accord. So if you can not adapt your dress andmanners to the company in which you find yourself, the sooner you takeyour leave the better. You may and should endeavor, in a proper way, to change such customs and fashions as you may deem wrong, orinjurious in their tendency, but, in the mean time, you have no rightto violate them. You may choose your company, but, having chosen it, you must conform to its rules til you can change them. You are notcompelled to reside in Rome; but if you choose to live there, you must"do as the Romans do. "

The rules which should govern your conduct, as an isolated individual, were such a thing as isolation possible in the midst of society, aremodified by your relations to those around you. This life of ours is acomplex affair, and our greatest errors arise from our one-side viewsof it. We are sovereign individuals, and are born with certain"inalienable rights;" but we are also members of that largerindividual society, and our rights can not conflict with the dutieswhich grow out of that relation. If by means of our non-conformity wecause ourselves to be cut off, like an offending hand, or plucked out, like an offending eye, our usefulness is at once destroyed. 

It is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion heturned his tea into his saucer, contrary to his custom and to theetiquette of society, because two country ladies, whose hospitalitieshe was enjoying, did so. That king was a _gentleman_; and thisanecdote serves to illustrate an important principle; namely, that_true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit, butabsolutely demand, a violation of some of the arbitrary rules ofetiquette_. 

The _highest law_ demands complete HARMONY in all spheres and in allrelations. 

IV. --EQUALITY. 

In the qualified sense which no doubt Mr. Jefferson affixed to theterm in his own mind, "all men _are_ created free and _equal_. " The"noble Oracle" himself had long before as explicitly asserted thenatural equality of man. In 1739, thirty-seven years before theDeclaration of Independence was penned, Lord Chesterfield wrote: "Weare of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us, except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman andLizette would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor, they are obliged to serve you. Therefore you must not add to theirmisfortune by insulting or ill-treating them. A good heart neverreminds people of their misfortune, but endeavors to alleviate, or, ifpossible, to make them forget it. "

The writer in _Life Illustrated_, quoted in a previous chapter, statesthe case very clearly as follows:

"It is in the sacredness of their rights that men are equal. Thesmallest injustice done to the smallest man on earth is an offenseagainst all men; an offense which all men have a personal and equalinterest in avenging. If John Smith picks my pocket, the cause incourt is correctly entitled, 'The PEOPLE _versus_ John Smith. ' Thewhole State of New York has taken up my quarrel with John, and arraysitself against John in awful majesty; because the pockets, theinterests, the rights of a man are _infinitely_, and therefore_equally_, sacred. 

"The conviction of this truth is the beginning and basis of thescience of republican etiquette, which acknowledges no _artificial_distinctions. Its leading principle is, that courtesy is due to allmen from all men; from the servant to the served; from the served tothe servant; and from both for precisely the same reason, namely, because both are human beings and _fellow_-citizens!"

V. --A REMARK OR TWO TO BE REMEMBERED. 

We purpose, in succeeding chapters, to set forth briefly but clearly, what the actual requirements of good society are in reference tobehavior. You must look at these in the light of the generalprinciples we have already laid down. It is not for us to say how faryou ought or can conform to any particular custom, usage, or rule ofetiquette. We believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious ofthem either have or have had a reason and a meaning. In many cases, however, the reason may no longer exist, and the form be meaningless;or while it embodies what is a living truth to others, you may haveoutgrown it or advanced beyond it. _You have an undoubted right, politely but firmly, to decline to do what seems to you, looking uponthe matter from your highest stand-point, to be clearly wrong, and itis no breach of good manners to do so_; but at the same time youshould avoid, as far as possible, putting yourself in positions whichcall for the exercise of this right. If you can not conscientiouslywear a dress coat, or a stove-pipe hat, or cut your hair, or eatflesh-meat, or drink wine, you will naturally avoid, under ordinarycircumstances, the circles in which non-conformity in these matterswould be deemed a breach of good manners. When it is necessary thatyou should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in allpoints without a violation of principle, you will courteously, andwith proper respect for what they probably think entirely right, fallback upon the "higher law;" but if it is a mere matter of gloved orungloved hands, cup or saucer, fork or knife, you will certainly havethe courtesy and good sense to conform to usage. 

V. 

DOMESTIC MANNERS. 

 Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in another school. --_Harrison. _

I. --A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS. 

Good manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes. Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only onspecial and rare occasions, it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you. If you are not well behaved in your own family circle, you will hardlybe truly so anywhere, however strictly you may conform to theobservances of good breeding, when in society. The true gentleman orlady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places-­at home aswell as abroad--in the field, or workshop, or in the kitchen, as wellas in the parlor. A snob is--a _snob_ always and everywhere. 

If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father ormother, his brothers or sisters, his wife or children; or fail toexercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around hisown fireside, you may at once set him down as a boor, whatever_pretensions_ he may make to gentility. 

Dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as youplease at home--that is, unless you please to behave in a perfectlygentlemanly or ladylike manner. The same rights exist there aselsewhere, and the same duties grow out of them, while the naturalrespect and affection which should be felt by each member of thefamily for all the other members, add infinitely to their sacredness. Let your good manners, then, begin at home. 

II. --PARENTS AND CHILDREN. 

American children (we are sorry to be obliged to say it) are not, as ageneral rule, well behaved. They are rude and disrespectful, if notdisobedient. They inspire terror rather than love in the breasts ofstrangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order. In ourdrawing-rooms, on board our steamers, in our railway cars and stagecoaches, they usually contrive to make themselves generally andparticularly disagreeable by their familiarity, forwardness, andpertness. "Young America" can not brook restraint, has no conceptionof superiority, and reverences nothing. His ideas of equality admitneither limitation nor qualification. He is born with a fullcomprehension of his own individual rights, but is slow in learninghis social duties. Through whose fault comes this state of things?American boys and girls have naturally as much good sense andgood-nature as those of any other nation, and, when well trained, nochildren are more courteous and agreeable. The fault lies in theireducation. In the days of our grandfathers, children were taughtmanners at school--a rather rude, backwoods sort of manners, it istrue, but better than the no manners at all of the present day. Wemust blame parents in this matter rather than their children. If youwould have your children grow up beloved and respected by their eldersas well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in theirchildhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he maybe the better fitted to command in his turn. 

Those who are old enough to study this book, are old enough to takethe matter in to their own hands, and remedy the defects and supplythe deficiencies of their early education. We beg them to commence atonce, and _at home_. 

Allow no false ideas of "liberty and equality" to cause you to forgetfor a moment the deference due to your father and your mother. Thefifth commandment has not been and can not be abrogated. We commend toyou the example of the Father of his Country. Look into the life ofWashington, and mark what tender and respectful attentionscharacterized his intercourse with his only surviving parent. _He_never, we venture to say, spoke of his mother as "the old woman, " oraddressed her with incivility. "Never, " an old friend of yours adjuresyou, "let youthful levity or the example of others betray you intoforgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders to a certaindeference. " Nature, a counselor still more sage, we doubt not, haswritten the same injunction upon your heart. _Let your manners dojustice to your feelings!_

"Toward your father, " that polished and courtly "gentleman of the oldschool, " the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide to Politenessand Fashion, " says, "preserve always a deferential manner, mingledwith a certain frankness indicating that thorough confidence--thatentire understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee ofgood sense in both, and of inestimable value to every young manblessed with a right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated byexperience with respect, receive even reproof without impatience ofmanner, and hasten to prove afterward that you cherish no resentfulremembrance of what may have seemed to you too great severity or a toomanifest assumption of authority.... In the inner temple of _home_, aswell as where the world looks on, render him reverence due. 

"There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attentionthat marks your manner to your mother the indescribable tendernessand rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembranceof early days. No other woman should ever induce you to forget thistruest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner everindicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection. "

III. --BROTHERS AND SISTERS. 

The intercourse of brothers and sisters should be marked by thefrankness and familiarity befitting their intimate relation; but thiscertainly does not preclude the exercise of all the little courtesiesof life. Young man, be polite to your sister. She is a woman, and allwomen have claims on you for courteous attentions; and the affectionwhich exists between you adds tenfold to the sacredness of the claimsshe has upon you, not only for protection, but for the exercise towardher of all the sweet amenities of life. Except your mother and yourwife or affianced mistress (if you have one), no one can possibly havean equal right to your attentions. If you are young and have neitherwife nor lady-love, let your mother and your sisters be to you theembodiment of all that is tenderest, most beautiful, and best in thehuman world. You can have no better school than your daily intercoursewith them, to fit you for female society in general. The young man wholoves his sisters and always treats them with the politeness, deference, and kindness which is their due, is almost certain to be afavorite with their sex generally; so, _as you value your reputationfor good manners and your success with other ladies, fail in no act ofcourtesy to your sisters_. 

The gentle and loving sister will need no injunction to treat anaffectionate, polite, and attentive brother with the tender andrespectful consideration which such a brother deserves. The charminglittle courtesies which you practice so gracefully in yourintercourse with other gentlemen will not, you may be sure, be lostupon him. True politeness is never lost, and never out of place; andnowhere does it appear more attractive than at home. 

Stiff formality and cold ceremoniousness are repulsive anywhere, andare particularly so in the family circle; but the easy, frank, andgenial intercourse of the fireside, instead of being marred, isrefined and made still more delightful by courtesy. 

IV. --THE HUSBAND AND WIFE. 

Reader, are you married? But excuse us, if the question is not aproper one. If you are not, you doubtless hope to be, sooner or later, and therefore we will address you just as if you were. 

The husband should never cease to be a _lover_, or fail in any ofthose delicate attentions and tender expressions of affectionatesolicitude which marked his intercourse before marriage with hisheart's queen. All the respectful deference, every courteousobservance, all the self-sacrificing devotion that can be claimed by amistress is certainly due to a wife, and he is no true husband and notrue _gentleman_ who withholds them. It is not enough that you honor, respect, and love your wife. You must put this honor, respect, andlove into the forms of speech and action. Let no unkind word, noseeming indifference, no lack of the little attentions due her, remindher sadly of the sweet days of courtship and the honey-moon. Surelythe love you thought would have been cheaply purchased at the price ofa world is worth all you care to preserve. Is not the wife more, andbetter, and dearer than the sweetheart? We venture to hint that it isprobably your own fault if she is not. 

The chosen companion of your life, the mother of your children, thesharer of all your joys and sorrows, as she possesses the highestplace in your affections, should have the best place everywhere, thechoicest morsels, the politest attentions, the softest, kindest words, the tenderest care. Love, duty, and good manners alike require it. 

And has the wife no duties? Have the courteous observances, the tenderwatchfulness, the pleasant words, the never-tiring devotion, which wonyour smiles, your spoken thanks, your kisses, your very self, in daysgone by, now lost their value? Does not the husband rightly claim asmuch, at least, as the lover? If you find him less observant of thelittle courtesies due you, may this not be because you sometimes failto reward him with the same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles? Ask yourown heart. 

Have the comfort and happiness of your husband always in view, and lethim _see_ and _feel_ that you still look up to him with trust andaffection--that the love of other days has not grown cold. Dress forhis eyes more scrupulously than for all the rest of the world; makeyourself and your home beautiful for his sake; play and sing (if youcan) to please him; try to beguile him from his cares; retain hisaffections in the same way you won them, and--be polite even to yourhusband. 

V. --ENTERTAINERS AND THEIR GUESTS. 

Hospitality takes a high rank among the social virtues; but we fear itis not held in so high esteem as formerly. Its duties are oftenfatiguing and irksome, no doubt, and sometimes quite unnecessarily so. One of the most important maxims of hospitality is, "Let your guestsalone!" If it were generally observed it would save both hosts andvisitors a world of trouble. Your first object should be to make yourguests feel at home. This they never can do while your needless bustleand obtrusive attentions constantly remind them that they are not athome, and perhaps make them wish they were. 

You will not, of course, understand us to mean that you should devoteno attention to your guests. On the contrary, you should assiduouslylabor to promote their comfort and enjoyment, opening to them everysource of entertainment within your reach; but it should be done inthat easy, delicate, considerate way which will make it seem a matterof course, and no trouble whatever to you. You should not seem to beconferring but receiving a favor. 

Begging your visitors to "make themselves at home, " does not give themthe home _feeling_. Genuine, unaffected friendliness, and anunobtrusive and almost unperceived attention to their wants alone willimpart this. Allow their presence to interfere as little as possiblewith your domestic arrangements; thus letting them see that theirvisit does not disturb you, but that they fall, as it were, naturallyinto a vacant place in your household. 

Observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a personwho, though he may be very much your friend, and really glad to seeyou, seems not to know what to do either with you or himself; andagain, when in the house of another, you feel as much at ease as inyour own. Mark the difference, more easily felt than described, between the manners of the two, and deduce therefrom a lesson for yourown improvement. 

Furnish your rooms and table for your guests in as good style as yourmeans and the circumstances of the case will permit, and make no fussabout it. To be unnecessarily sparing shows meanness, and to beextravagantly profuse is absurd as well an ruinous. Probably yourvisitors know whether your income is large or small and if they do notthey will soon learn, on that point, all that it is necessary forthem to know. But if any circumstance out of the ordinary course ofthings should render an apology necessary, make it at once and say nomore about it. 

Avoid by all means the very common but very foolish habit ofdepreciating your own rooms, furniture, or viands, and expressinguncalled-for regrets that you have nothing better to offer, merely togive your guests an opportunity politely to contradict you. But youneed not go to the other extreme and extol the meats you set beforethem. Say nothing about these matters. 

When visitors show any intention of leaving, you will of courseexpress the desire you feel to have them stay longer, but good mannersdo not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes orsense of duty. It is to be supposed that they know their own affairsbest. 

Guests sometimes forget (if they ever learned) that _they_ have anyduties. We beg leave to jog their memory with the following hints fromthe graceful pen of "Mrs. Manners:"

"To accommodate yourself to the habits and rules of the family, inregard to hours of rising or retiring, and particularly the hours formeals, is the first duty of a guest. Inform yourself as soon aspossible when the meals occur--whether there will be a dressing-bell--atwhat time they meet for prayers, and thus become acquainted with all thefamily regulations. _It is always the better way for a family to adherestrictly to all their usual habits_; it is a much simpler matter forone to learn to conform to those than for half a dozen to be thrown outof a routine, which may be almost indispensable to the fulfillment oftheir importunate duties. It certainly must promote the happiness ofany reasonable person to know that his presence is no restraint andno inconvenience. 

"Your own good sense and delicacy will teach you the desirability ofkeeping your room tidy, and your articles of dress and toilet as muchin order as possible. If there is a deficiency of servants, a ladywill certainly not hesitate to make her own bed, and to do for herselfas much as possible, and for the family all that is in her power. Inever saw an elegant lady of my acquaintance appear to betteradvantage than when once performing a service which, under othercircumstances, might have been considered menial; yet, in her ownhouse, she was surrounded by servants, and certainly she never used abroom or made a bed a her life. "

VI. --SERVANTS. 

We are all dependent, in one way or another, upon others. At one timewe serve, at another we are served, and we are equally worthy of honorand respect in the one case as in the other. The man or the woman whoserves us may or may not be our inferior in natural capacity, learning, manners, or wealth. Be this as it may, the relation in whichwe stand to him or her gives us no right beyond the exaction of theservice stipulated or implied in that relation. The right to tyrannizeover our inferiors in social position, to unnecessarily humiliatethem, or to be rude and unkind can not exist, because it would be aninfringement of other rights. Servants have rights as well as thosewhom they serve, and the latter have duties as well as the former. Weowe those who labor for us something more than their wages. They haveclaims on us for a full recognition of their manhood or womanhood, andall the rights which grow out of that state. 

The true gentleman is never arrogant, or overbearing, or rude todomestics or _employées_. His commands are requests, and allservices, no matter how humble the servant, are received with thanks, as if they were favors. We might say the same with still greateremphasis of the true lady. There is no surer sign of vulgarity than aneedless assumption of the tone of authority and a haughty andsupercilious bearing toward servants and inferiors in stationgenerally. It is a small thing to say, "I thank you, " but those littlewords are often better than gold. No one is too poor to bestow, or toorich to receive them. 

VI. 

THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE. 

 Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of commercial life: returns are equally expected in both; and people will no more advance their civility to a bear, than their money to a bankrupt. --_Chesterfield. _

I. --A PRELIMINARY REMARK. 

In going out into the great world which lies outside of home we haveno new principles to lay down for your guidance. Those we have setforth and illustrated in previous chapters are of universalapplication and meet all contingencies. We shall now essay a briefexposition of the established laws of etiquette, leaving each readerto judge for himself how far he can and ought to conform to them, andwhat modifications they require to adapt them to a change of time, place, and circumstances. 

II. --INTRODUCTIONS. 

It is neither necessary nor desirable to introduce everybody toeverybody; and the promiscuous presentations sometimes inflicted uponus are anything but agreeable. You confer no favor on us, and only anominal one on the person presented, by making us acquainted with onewhom we do not desire to know; and you _may_ inflict a positive injuryupon both. Yon also put yourself in an unpleasant position; for "anintroduction is a social indorsement, " and yell become to a certainextent responsible for the person you introduce. If he disgraceshimself in any way you share, in a greater or less degree, in hisdisgrace. Be as cautious in this matter as you would in writing yourname on the back of another man's note. 

As a general rule, no gentleman should be presented to a lady withouther permission being previously obtained. Between gentlemen thisformality is not always necessary, but you should have good reason tobelieve that the acquaintance will be agreeable to both, beforeintroducing any persons to each other. If a gentleman requests you topresent him to another gentleman who is his superior in socialposition, or to a lady, you should either obtain permission of thelatter, or decline to accede to his request, on the ground that youare not sufficiently intimate yourself to take the liberty. 

If you are walking with a friend, and are met or joined by another, itis not necessary to introduce them to each other; but you may do so ifyou think they would be glad to become acquainted. The same rule willapply to other accidental meetings. 

When two men call upon a stranger on a matter of business, each shouldpresent the other. 

The inferior should be introduced to the superior--the gentleman tothe lady, as, "Miss Brown, permit me to introduce Mr. Smith. " A ladymay, however, be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age orstation. Gentlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age andposition are mutually introduced; as, "Mr. Wilson, allow me to makeyou acquainted with Mr. Parker; Mr. Parker, Mr. Wilson. "

In presenting persons be very careful to speak their names plainly;and on being introduced to another, if you do not catch the name, say, without hesitation or embarrassment, "I beg your pardon, I did nothear the name. "

It is the common custom in this country to shake hands on beingintroduced. It is better that this should be optional with the personto whom you are presented or with you, if you stood in the positionof the superior. If a lady or a superior in age or social positionoffers the hand, you of course accept it cordially. You will have toomuch self-respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case. In merely formal introductions a bow is enough. Feeling should governin this matter. 

In introducing members of your own family you should always mentionthe name. Say, "My father Mr. Jones, " "My daughter Miss Jones, " or"Miss Mary Jones. " Your wife is simply "Mrs. Jones;" and if therehappen to be another Mrs. Jones in the family, she may be "Mrs. Jones, my sister-in-law, " etc. To speak of your wife as "my lady, " or enteryourselves on a hotel register as Mr. Jones and lady, is particularly_snobbish_. 

Introductions by letter are subject to the same general rules asverbal ones: we should, however, be still more cautious in givingthem; but for directions on this point, as well as forms for lettersof introduction, see "How to Write, " Chapter IX. 

But may we not speak to a person without an introduction? In manycases we most certainly may and should. There is no reason in theworld why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car ora stage coach should remain silent during the whole journey becausethey have not been introduced, when conversation might be agreeable toboth. The same remark will apply to many other occasions. You are notobliged, however to know these _extempore_ acquaintances afterward. 

If you are a gentleman, do not, we beg you, permit the lack of anintroduction to prevent you from promptly offering your services toany unattended lady who may need them. Take off your hat and politelybeg the honor of protecting, escorting, or assisting her, and when theservice has been accomplished, bow and retire. 

III. --SALUTATIONS. 

"Salutation, " a French writer says, "is the touchstone of goodbreeding. " Your good sense will teach you that it should vary in stylewith persons, times, places, and circumstances. You will meet anintimate friend with a hearty shake of the hand and an inquiryindicative of real interest, in reference to his health and that ofhis family. To another person you how respectfully without speaking. Aslight note of recognition suffices in another case. But you shouldnever come into the presence of any person, unless you feel at libertyto ignore their existence altogether, without some form of salutation. If you meet in company a person with whom you have a quarrel, it isbetter in general to bow coldly and ceremoniously than to seem not tosee him. 

It is a great rudeness not to return a salutation, no matter howhumble the person who salutes you. "A bow, " La Fontaine says, "is anote drawn at sight. If you acknowledge it, you must pay the fullamount. " The two best bred men in England, Charles the Second andGeorge the Fourth, never failed to take off their hats to the meanestof their subjects. A greater man than either, and a true "gentleman ofthe old school, " George Washington, was wont to lift his hat even tothe poor negro slave, who took off his as that great man passed. 

IV. --RECEPTIONS. 

The duty of receiving visitors usually devolves upon the mistress ofthe house, and should be performed in an easy, quiet, and selfpossessed manner, and without any unnecessary ceremony. In this wayyou will put your guests at their ease, and make their call or visitpleasant both to them and to yourself. From a little book before usentitled "Etiquette for Ladies, " we condense a few useful hints onthis subject:

"When any one enters, whether announced or not, rise immediately, advance toward him, and request him to sit down. If it is a young man, _offer_ him an arm-chair, or a stuffed one; if an elderly man, _insist_ upon his _accepting_ the arm-chair; if a lady, beg her to beseated upon the sofa. If the master of the house receives thevisitors, he will take a chair and place himself at a little distancefrom them; if, on the contrary, it is the mistress of the house, andif she is intimate with the lady who visits her, she will placeherself near her. If several ladies come at once, we give the mosthonorable place to the one who, from age or other considerations, ismost entitled to respect. In winter, the most honorable places arethose at the corners of the fireplace. 

"If the visitor is a stranger, the master or mistress of the houserises, and any persons who may be already in the room should do thesame. If some of them then withdraw, the master or mistress of thehouse should conduct them as far as the door. But whoever the personmay be who departs, if we have other company, we may dispense withconducting farther than the door of the room. "

Quiet self-possession and unaffected courtesy will enable you to makeeven a ceremonious morning call tolerable, if not absolutely pleasantto both the caller and yourself. 

V. --VISITS AND CALLS. 

Visits are of various kinds, each of which has its own terms andobservances. There are visits of ceremony, visits of congratulation, visits of condolence, visits of friendship. 

Visits of ceremony, though they take up a large share of the time ofthe fashionable lady, are very stupid affairs as a general thing, andhave little to recommend them except--Fashion. The best thing aboutthem is that they may and should be short. 

You pay visits of congratulation to your friends on the occurrence ofany particularly auspicious event in his family, or on his appointmentto any office or dignity. 

Visits of condolence should be made within the week after the eventwhich calls for them. 

Let visits of friendship be governed by friendship's own laws, and theuniversal principles of good manners. We shall give no particularrules for the regulation of their time or their length. 

"Morning calls, " the "Illustrated Manners Book" says "are the smallchange of social commerce; parties and assemblies are the heavydrafts. A call is not less than ten nor more than twenty minutes inthe city; in the country a little longer. The time for a morning callis between eleven and two o'clock, unless your friends are sofashionable as to dine at five or six, in which case you can call fromtwelve to three. Morning, in fashionable parlance, means any timebefore dinner. "

In a morning call or visit of ceremony, the gentleman takes his hatand cane, if he carries one, into the room. The lady does not take offher bonnet and shawl. In attending ladies who are making morningcalls, a gentleman assists them up the steps, rings the bell, _follows_ them into the room, and waits till they have finished theirsalutations, unless he has a part to perform in presenting them. Ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa, andwhen they have made their _adieux_ their cavaliers repeat theceremony, and follow them out. 

Soiled overshoes or wet garments should not be worn into any roomdevoted to the use of ladies. Gentlemen must never remain seated inthe company of ladies with whom he is ceremoniously associated, whilethey are standing. Always relieve ladies of their parcels, parasols, shawls, etc. Whenever this will conduce to their convenience. [B]

If you call on a person who is "engaged, " or "not at home, " leave yourcard. If there are several persons you desire to see, leave a card foreach, or desire a servant to present your compliments to themseverally. All visits should be returned, personally or by card, justas one should speak when spoken to, or answer a respectful letter. 

In visiting at a hotel, do not enter your friend's room till your cardhas announced you. If not at home, send your card to his room withyour address written upon it as well as the name of the person forwhom it is intended, to avoid mistakes. [C]

When you are going abroad, intending to be absent for some time, youinclose your card in an envelope, having first, written T. T. L. [totake leave], or P. P. C. [_pour prendre congé_] upon it--for a man theformer is better--and direct it outside to the person for whom it isintended. In taking leave of a _family_, you send as many cards as youwould if you were paying an ordinary visit. When you return from yourvoyage, all the persons to whom, before going, you have sent cards, will pay you the first visit. If, previously to a voyage or hismarriage, any one should not send his card to another, it is to beunderstood that he wishes the acquaintance to cease. The person, therefore, who is thus _dis_carded, should never again visit theother. [D]

Visiting cards should be engraved or handsomely written. Thoseprinted on type are considered vulgar, simply, no doubt, because theyare cheap. A gentleman's card should be of medium size, unglazed, ungilt, and perfectly plain. A lady's card may be larger and finer, and should be carried in a card-case. 

If you should happen to be paying an evening visit at a house, where, unknown to you, there is a small party assembled, you should enter andpresent yourself precisely as you would have done had you beeninvited. To retire precipitately with an apology for the intrusionwould create a _scene_, and be extremely awkward. Go in, therefore, converse with ease for a few moments, and then retire. 

In making morning calls, usage allows a gentleman to wear a frockcoat, or a sack coat, if the latter happen to be in fashion. The frockcoat is now, in this country, _tolerated_ at dinner-parties, and evenat a ball, but is not considered in good _ton_ or style. 

"Ladies, " according to the authority of a writer of their own sex, "should make morning calls in an elegant and simple _négligé_, all thedetails of which we can not give, on account of their multiplicity andthe numerous modifications of fashion. It is necessary for them, whenvisiting at this time, to arrange their toilet with great care. "

VI. --APPOINTMENTS. 

Be exact in keeping all appointments. It is better never to availyourself of even the quarter of an hour's grace sometimes allowed. 

If you make an appointment with another at your own house, you shouldbe invisible to the rest of the world, and consecrate your time solelyto him. 

If you accept an appointment at the house of a public officer or aman of business, be very punctual, transact the affair with dispatch, and retire the moment it is finished. 

At a dinner or supper to which you have accepted an invitation, beabsolutely punctual. It is very annoying to arrive an hour before therest, and still worse to be too late. If you find yourself in thelatter predicament on an occasion where ceremony is required, send inyour card, with an apology, and retire. 

VII. --TABLE MANNERS. 

We shall speak in another place of the ceremonious observancesrequisite at formal dinner parties. Our observations here will be of amore general character, and of universal application. 

Take your seat quietly at the table. Sit firmly in your chair, withoutlolling, leaning back, drumming, or any other uncouth action. Unfoldyour napkin and lay it in your lap, eat soup delicately with a spoon, holding a piece of bread in your left hand. Be careful to make nonoise in chewing or swallowing your food. 

Cut your food with your knife; but the fork is to be used to convey itto your mouth. A spoon is employed for food that can not be eaten witha fork. Take your fork or spoon in the right hand. Never use bothhands to convey anything to your month. Break your bread, not cut orbite it. Your cup was made to drink from, and your saucer to hold thecup. It is not well to drink anything hot; but you can wait till yourtea or coffee cools. Eggs should be eaten from the shell (chipping offa little of the _larger_ end), with or without an egg-cup. The egg-cupis to hold the shell, and not its contents. 

Be attentive to the wants of any lady who may be seated next to you, especially where there are no servants, and pass anything that may beneedful to others. 

When you send up your plate for anything, your knife and fork shouldgo with it. When you have finished the course, lay your knife and forkon your plate, parallel to each other, with the handles toward yourright hand. Of course, you should never put your knife into the butteror the salt, or your spoon into the sugar-bowl. _Eat moderately andslowly_, for your health's sake; but rapid, gross, and immoderateeating is as vulgar as it is unwholesome. Never say or do anything attable that is liable to produce disgust. Wipe your nose, if needful, but never blow it. If it is necessary to do this, or to spit, leavethe table. 

It is almost unnecessary to mention that the table-cloth is not theplace to put your salt. Bread is the only comestible which the customof well-bred people permits to be laid off your plate. 

It is well not to seem too much in haste to commence, as if you arefamishing, but neither is it necessary to wait till everybody isserved before you commence. 

It is perfectly proper to "take the last piece, " if you want it, always presuming that there is more of the same in reserve. 

VIII. --CONVERSATION. 

As conversation is the principal business in company, we can not wellpay too much attention to it; but having devoted another work to thesubject, we shall make this section briefer than would otherwise beallowable, and refer our readers for complete instructions in thisimportant art to "How to Talk. "[E] The maxims which follow are mostlycompiled from other works now before us. 

The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than inshowing a great deal yourself. He who goes from your conversationpleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased withyou. The most delicate pleasure is to please another. [F]

Men of all sorts of occupations meet in society. As they go there tounbend their minds and escape from the fetters of business, you shouldnever, in an evening, speak to a man about his profession. Do not talkof politics to a journalist, of fevers to a physician, of stocks to abroker. Talk to a mother about her children. Women are never tired ofhearing of themselves and their children. [G]

In promiscuous companies you should vary your address agreeably to thedifferent ages of the persons to whom you speak. It would be rude andabsurd to talk of your courtships or your pleasures to men of certaindignity and gravity, to clergymen, or men in years. To women youshould always address yourself with great respect and attention; theirsex is entitled to it, and it is among the duties of good manners; atthe same time, that respect is very properly and very agreeably mixedwith a degree of gayety, if you have it. 

In relating anything, avoid repetitions, or very hackneyedexpressions, such as, _says he_, or _says she_. Some people will usethese so often as to take off the hearer's attention from the story;as, in an organ out of tune, one pipe shall perhaps sound the wholetime we are playing, and confuse the piece so as not to be understood. 

Carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domesticconcerns. By doing the one, you will be thought vain; by entering intothe other, you will be considered officious. Talking of yourself isan impertinence to the company; your affairs are nothing to them;besides, they can not be kept too secret. As to the affairs of others, what are they to you?

You should never help out or forestall the slow speaker, as if youalone were rich in expressions, and he were poor. You may take it forgranted that every one is vain enough to think he can talk well, though he may modestly deny it. [There is an exception to this rule. In speaking with foreigners, who understand our language imperfectly, and may be unable to find the right word, it is sometimes polite toassist them by suggesting the word they require. ]

Giving advice unasked is another piece of rudeness. It is, in effect, declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproachingthem with ignorance and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought notto be taken with any common acquaintance. 

Those who contradict others upon all occasions, and make everyassertion a matter of dispute, betray, by this behavior, a want ofacquaintance with good breeding. 

Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic ofbad company and a bad education. A man of fashion avoids nothing withmore care than that. Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are theflowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man. [H]

Never descend to flattery; but deserved compliments should never bewithheld. Be attentive to any person who may be speaking to you, andbe equally ready to speak or to listen, as the case may require. Neverdispute. As a general rule, do not ride your own _hobbies_ in a mixedcompany, nor allow yourself to be "trotted out" for their amusement. 

IX. --MUSIC. 

When music commences, conversation should cease. It is very rude totalk while another person is singing or playing. 

A lady should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play; but if sheintends to do so, she should not affect to refuse when asked, butobligingly accede at once. If you can not sing, or do not choose to, say so with seriousness and gravity, and put an end to the expectationpromptly. After singing once or twice, cease and give place to others. The complaint is as old as the days of Horace, that a singer can withthe greatest difficulty be set agoing, and when agoing, can not bestopped. 

In playing an accompaniment for another, do not forget that it isintended to aid, and not to interrupt, and that the instrument issubordinate to the singer. 

When a lady is playing, it is desirable that some one should turn theleaves for her. Some gentleman will be generally at hand to do this, but unless he be able to read music, his services may as well bedispensed with. 

X. --LETTERS AND NOTES. 

Few accomplishments are more important than letter writing--in fact, it is absolutely indispensable to every man or woman who desires tofill a respectable position it society. But good letter-writers arerare. Too little attention is paid to the subject in our systems ofeducation; and the lack of the ability to write a decent letter, oreven a note of invitation, acceptance, or regret, is often the causeof great mortification, to say nothing of the delays, misunderstandings, and losses resulting in business affairs from bungling and incorrectlywritten letters. 

The impossibility of doing justice to the subject in the very limitedspace that we could devote to it in this work, compels us to refer thereader to our little manual of Composition and Letter-Writing, entitled "How to Write, " in which the whole subject is thoroughlyexplained and illustrated. 

XI. --MISCELLANEOUS HINTS. 

1. _Which goes First?_

In ascending or descending stairs with a lady, it is proper to offeryour arm, provided the stair-case is sufficiently wide to permit twoto go up or down abreast. 

But if it is not, which should go first? Authorities disagree. Usageis not settled. It is a general rule of etiquette to give ladies theprecedence everywhere. Is there a sufficient reason for making this anexception? One says that if you follow a lady in going down stairs, you are liable to tread on her dress, and that if she precedes you ingoing up, she might display a large foot or a thick ankle which werebetter concealed. He thinks the gentleman should go first. Anothercalls this a maxim of prudery and the legacy of a maiden aunt. ColonelLunettes, our oft-quoted friend of the old _régime_, speaks verypositively on this point. "Nothing is more absurd, " he says, "than thehabit of preceding ladies in ascending stairs, adopted by some men--asif by following just behind them, as one should if the arm bedisengaged, there can be any impropriety. Soiled frills and unmendedhose must have originated this vulgarity. " Let the ladies decide. 

2. _An American Habit. _

There is a habit peculiar to the United States, and from which evensome females, who class themselves as ladies, are not entirelyfree--that of lolling back, balanced upon the two hind legs of achair. Such a breach of good breeding is rarely committed in Europe. Lolling is carried even so for in America, that it is not uncommon tosee the attorneys lay their feet upon the council table; and theclerks and judges theirs also upon their desks in open court. 

3. _Gloved or Ungloved?_

In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand; butif two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep eachother waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer agloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved. Foreigners aresometimes very sensitive in this matter, and might deem the glove aninsult. It is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove inhis hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands. At a ballor a party the gloves should not be taken off. 

4. _Equality. _

In company, though none are _free_, yet all are _equal_. All, therefore, whom you meet should be treated with equal respect, although interest may dictate toward each different degrees ofattention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of herguests. 

5. _False Shame. _

In a letter to his son, Lord Chesterfield makes the followingconfession: "I have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent, formeeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought andcalled fine company. I have returned his notice shyly, awkwardly, andconsequently offensively, for fear of a momentary joker notconsidering, as I ought to have done, that the very people who wouldhave joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me the more for itafterward. "

A good hint for us all. 

6. _Pulling out one's Watch. _

Pulling out your watch in company, unasked, either at home or abroad, is a mark of ill-breeding. If at home, it appears as if you were tiredof your company, and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if thehours dragged heavily, and you wished to be gone yourself. If you wantto know the time, withdraw; besides, as the taking what is calledFrench leave was introduced, that, on one person's leaving thecompany, the rest might not be disturbed, looking at your watch doeswhat that piece of politeness was designed to prevent. 

7. _Husband and Wife. _

A gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as Mrs. ----, and alady of her husband as Mr. ----. So one does not say in speaking toanother, "your wife, " or "your husband, " but Mrs. Or Mr. ----. Amongintimates, however, to say "my wife, " or "my husband, " is better, because less formal. Let there be a _fitness_ in everything, whateverconventional rules you may violate. 

8. _Bowing vs. Curtseying. _

Curtseying is obsolete. Ladies now universally bow instead. The latteris certainly a more convenient, if not a more graceful form ofsalutation, particularly on the street. 

9. _Presents. _

Among friends, presents ought to be made of things of small value; or, if valuable, their worth should be derived from the style of theworkmanship, or from some accidental circumstance, rather than fromthe inherent and solid richness. Especially never offer to a lady agift of great cost; it is in the highest degree indelicate, and looksas if you were desirous of placing her under an obligation to you, andof buying her good-will. 

The gifts made by ladies to gentlemen are of the most refined naturepossible; they should be little articles not purchased, but deriving apriceless value as being the offspring of their gentle skill; a littlepicture from their pencil or a trifle from their needle. 

A present should be made with as little parade and ceremony aspossible. If it is a small matter, a gold pencil-case, a thimble to alady, or an affair of that sort, it should not be offered formally, but in an indirect way. 

Emerson says: "Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies forgifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; thefarmer, his corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; thepainter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing. "

10. _Snobbery. _

When you hear a man insisting upon points of etiquette and fashion;wondering, for instance, how people can eat with steel forks andsurvive it, or what charms existence has for persons who dine at threewithout soup and fish, be sure that that individual is a snob. 

11. _Children. _

Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Recollect, inthe matter of children, how many are born every hour, each are almostas remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma. 

FOOTNOTES:

[B] "Colonel Lunettes. "

[C] "Manners Book. "

[D] "Etiquette for Gentlemen. "

[E] "How to Talk: A Pocket Manual of Conversation, Public Speaking, and Debating. " New York. Fowler and Wells. Price 80 cents. 

[F] La Bruyère

[G] "Etiquette for Gentlemen. "

[H] Chesterfield. 

VII. 

THE ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS. 

 Great plenty, much formality, small cheer, And everybody out of his own sphere. --_Byron. _

I. --DINNER PARTIES. 

A young man or a young woman, unaccustomed to the settled observancesof such occasions, can hardly pass through a severer ordeal than aformal dinner. Its terrors, however, are often greatly magnified. Sucha knowledge of the principal points of table etiquette as you mayacquire from this book, complete self-possession, habits ofobservation, and a fair share of practical good sense, will carry onesafely if not pleasantly through it. 

You may entertain the opinion that such dinners, and formal parties ingeneral, are tiresome affairs, and that there might be quite as muchreal courtesy and a great deal more enjoyment with less ceremony, andwe may entirely agree with you; but what _is_, and not what _mightbe_, is the point to be elucidated. We are to take society as we findit. You may, as a general rule, decline invitations to dinner partieswithout any breach of good manners, and without giving offense, if youthink that neither your enjoyment nor your interests will be promotedby accepting; or you may not go into what is technically called"society" at all, and yet you are liable, at a hotel, on board asteamer, or on some extraordinary occasion, to be placed in a positionin which ignorance of dinner etiquette will be very mortifying andthe information contained in this section be worth a hundred times thecost of the book. 

We now proceed to note the common routine of a fashionable dinner, aslaid down in books and practiced in polite society. On some pointsusage is not uniform, but varies in different countries, and even indifferent cities in the same country, as well as in different circlesin the same place. For this reason you must not rely wholly upon thisor any other manners book, but, keeping your eyes open and your witsabout you, _wait and see what others do_, and follow the prevailingmode. 

1. _Invitations. _

Invitations to a dinner are usually issued several days before theappointed time--the length of time being proportioned to the grandeurof the occasion. On receiving one, you should answer at once, addressing the lady of the house. You should either accept or declineunconditionally, as they will wish to know whom to expect, and maketheir preparations accordingly. 

2. _Dress. _

You must go to a dinner party in "full dress. " Just what this is, is aquestion of time and place. Strictly interpreted, it allows gentlemenbut little choice. A black dress coat and trowsers, a black or whitevest and cravat, white gloves, and pumps and silk stockings wereformerly rigorously insisted upon. But the freedom-loving "spirit ofthe age" has already made its influence felt even in the realms offashion, and a little more latitude is now allowed in most circles. The "American Gentleman's Guide" enumerates the essentials of agentleman's dress for occasions of ceremony in general, as follows:

"A stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color and ofunexceptionable quality, nether garments to correspond, or in warmweather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of afashionable material and make, the finest and purest linen, embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest of some dark orneutral tint, according to the physiognomical peculiarities of thewearer and the _prevailing mode_; an entirely fresh-looking, fashionable black hat, and carefully-fitted modish boots, whitegloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief. "

A lady's "full dress" is not easily defined, and fashion allows hergreater scope for the exercise of her taste in the selection ofmaterials, the choice of colors, and the style of making. Still, shemust "be in the fashion. "

3. _Punctuality. _

Never allow yourself to be a minute behind the time. The dinner cannot be served till all the guests have arrived. If it is spoiledthrough your tardiness, you are responsible not only to your inviter, but to his outraged guests. Better be too late for the steamer or therailway train than for a dinner!

4. _Going to the Table. _

When dinner is announced, the host rises and requests all to walk tothe dining-room, to which he leads the way, having given his arm tothe lady who, from age or any other consideration, is entitled toprecedence. Each gentleman offers his arm to a lady, and all follow inorder. If you are not the principal guest, you must be careful not tooffer your arm to the handsomest or most distinguished lady. 

5. _Arrangement of Guests. _

Where rank or social position are regarded (and where are they not tosome extent?), the two most distinguished gentlemen are placed nextthe mistress of the house, and the two most distinguished ladies nextthe master of the house. The right hand is especially the place ofhonor. If it is offered to you, you should not refuse it. 

It is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrangethe guests, and to place them in such a manner that the conversationmay always be general during the entertainment. If the number ofgentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies, we should take careto intermingle them. We should separate husbands from their wives, andremove near relations as far from one another as possible, becausebeing always together they ought not to converse among themselves in ageneral party. 

6. _Duties of the Host. _

To perform faultlessly the honors of the table is one of the mostdifficult things in society; it might indeed be asserted, without muchfear of contradiction, that no man has as yet ever reached exactpropriety in his office as host. When he receives others, he must becontent to forget himself; he must relinquish all desire to shine, andeven all attempts to please his guests by conversation, and rather doall in his power to let them please one another. 

Help ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy, moderation, andfastidiousness of their appetites; and do not overload the plate ofany person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission. It spoils the meat for some persons. 

Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes; neverask persons more than once, and never put anything by force upon theirplates. It is extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to pressone to eat of anything. 

The host should never recommend or eulogize any particular dish; hisguests will take it for granted that anything found at his table isexcellent. 

The most important maxim in hospitality is to leave every one to hisown choice and enjoyment, and to free him _from an ever-present senseof being entertained_. You should never send away your own plate untilall your guests have finished. 

7. _Duties of the Guests. _

Gentlemen must be assiduous but not officious in their attentions tothe ladies. See that they lack nothing, but do not seem to watch them. 

If a "grace" is to be asked, treat the observance with respect. Goodmanners require this, even if veneration fails to suggest it. 

Soup will come first. _You must not decline it_; because nothing elsecan be served till the first course is finished, and to sit withnothing before you would be awkward. But you may eat as little of itas you choose. The host serves his left-hand neighbor first, then hisright hand, and so on till all are served. Take whatever is given you, and do _not_ offer it to your neighbor; and begin at once to eat. Youmust not suck soup into your month, blow it, or send for a secondplate. The second course is fish, which is to be eaten with a fork, and without vegetables. The last part of this injunction does not, ofcourse, apply to informal dinners, where fish is the principal dish. Fish, like soup, is served but once. When you have eaten what youwish, you lay your fork on your plate, and the waiter removes it. Thethird course brings the principal dishes--roast and boiled meats, fowl, etc. , which are followed by game. There are also side dishes ofvarious kinds. At dessert, help the ladies near you to whatever theymay require. Serve strawberries with a spoon, but pass cherries, grapes, or peaches for each to help himself with his fingers. You neednot volunteer to pare an apple or a peach for a lady, but should doso, of course, at her request, using her fork or some other than yourown to hold it. 

We have said in our remarks on table manners in general, in a previouschapter, that in sending your plate for anything, you should leaveyour knife and fork upon it. For this injunction we have the authorityof most of the books on etiquette, as well as of general usage. Thereseems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact, that to holdthem in your hand would be awkward, and to lay them on the table-clothmight soil it; but the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide, "whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned, saysthat they should be retained, and either kept together in the hand, orrested upon your bread, to avoid soiling the cloth. 

Eat deliberately and decorously (there can be no harm in repeatingthis precept), masticate your food thoroughly, and _beware of drinkingtoo much ice-water_. 

If your host is not a "temperance man, " that is, one pledged to totalabstinence, wine will probably be drunk. You can of course decline, but you must do so courteously, and without any reflection upon thosewho drink. You are not invited to deliver a temperance lecture. 

Where finger-glasses are used, dip the tips of your fingers in thewater and wipe them on your napkin; and wet a corner of the napkin andwipe your mouth. Snobs sometimes wear gloves at table. It is notnecessary that you should imitate them. 

The French fashion of having the principal dishes carved on aside-table, and served by attendants, is now very generally adopted atceremonious dinners in this country, but few gentlemen who go intocompany at all can safely count upon never being called upon to carve, and the _art_ is well worth acquiring. Ignorance of it sometimesplaces one in an awkward position. You will find directions on thissubject in almost any cook-book; you will learn more, however, bywatching an accomplished carver than in any other way. 

Do not allow yourself to be too much engrossed in attending to thewants of the stomach, to join in the cheerful interchange ofcivilities and thoughts with those near you. 

We must leave a hundred little things connected with a dinner partyunmentioned; but what we have said here, together with the generalcanons of eating laid down in Chapter VI. (Section 7, "TableManners"), and a little observation, will soon make you a proficientin the etiquette of these occasions, in which, if you will take ouradvice, you will not participate very frequently. An _informal_dinner, at which you meet two or three friends, and find more cheerand less ceremony, is much to be preferred. 

II. --EVENING PARTIES. 

Evening parties are of various kinds, and more or less ceremonious, asthey are more or less fashionable. Their object is or should be socialenjoyment, and the manners of the company ought to be such as willbest promote it. A few hints, therefore, in addition to the generalmaxims of good behavior already laid down, will suffice. 

1. _Invitations. _

Having accepted an invitation to a party, never fail to keep yourpromise, and especially do not allow bad weather, of any ordinarycharacter, to prevent your attendance. A married man should neveraccept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included. 

2. _Salutations. _

When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute thelady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your mostintimate friends are enveloped in an opake atmosphere until you havemade your bow to your entertainer. [I] You then mix with the company, salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You mayconverse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, withoutthe formality of an introduction. 

3. _Conversation. _

When conversation is not general, nor the subject sufficientlyinteresting to occupy the whole company, they break up into differentgroups. Each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on hisright and left. We should, if we wish to speak to any one, avoidleaning upon the person who happens to be between. A gentleman oughtnot to lean upon the arm of a lady's chair, but he may, if standing, support himself by the back of it, in order to converse with the ladypartly turned toward him. [J]

The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing onewith another at a party. 

4. _French Leave. _

If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up, take "Frenchleave"--that is, go quietly out without disturbing any one, andwithout saluting even the mistress of the house, unless you can do sowithout attracting attention. The contrary course would interrupt therest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explanationsand ceremony. 

5. _Sports and Games. _

Among young people, and particularly in the country, a variety ofsports or plays, as they are called, are in vogue. Some of them arefitting only for children; but others are more intellectual, and maybe made sources of improvement as well as of amusement. 

Entering into the spirit of these sports, we throw off some of therestraints of a more formal intercourse; but they furnish no excusefor rudeness. You must not forget your politeness in your hilarity, orallow yourself to "take liberties, " or lose your sense of delicacy andpropriety. 

The selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies, though anyperson may modestly propose any amusement, and ask the opinion ofothers in reference to it. The person who gives the party willexercise her prerogative to vary the play, that the interest may bekept up. 

If this were the proper place, we should enter an earnest protestagainst the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of theperformances in some of these games, but it is not our office toproscribe or introduce observances, but to regulate them. No truegentleman will _abuse_ the freedom which the laws of the game allows;but if required, will delicately kiss the hand, the forehead, or, atmost, the cheek of the lady. A lady will offer her lips to be kissedonly to a lover or a husband, and not to him in company. The Frenchcode is a good one: "Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheekto a friend, but keep your lips for your lover. "

Never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any ofthe company, and "pay" those which may be adjudged to you withcheerful promptness. 

6. _Dancing. _

An evening party is often only another name for a ball. We may have asmany and as weighty objections to dancing, as conducted at thesefashionable parties, as to the formal dinners and rich and latesuppers which are in vogue in the same circles, but this is not theplace to discuss the merits of the quadrille or the waltz, but to laydown the etiquette of the occasions on which they are practiced. Wecondense from the various authorities before us the following code:

1. According to the hours now in fashion in our large cities, teno'clock is quite early enough to present yourself at a dance. You willeven then find many coming after you. In the country, you should goearlier. 

2. Draw on your gloves (white or yellow) in the dressing-room, and donot be for one moment with them off in the dancing-rooms. At suppertake them off; nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves. 

3. When you are sure of a place in the dance, you go up to a lady andask her if she will _do you the honor_ to dance with you. If sheanswers that she is engaged, merely request her to name the earliestdance for which she is not engaged, and when she will do you the honorof dancing with you. 

4. If a gentleman offers to dance with a lady, she should not refuse, unless for some _particular_ and _valid_ reason, in which case shecan accept the next offer. But if she has no further objection than atemporary dislike or a piece of coquetry, it is a direct insult to himto refuse him and accept the next offer; besides, it shows too markeda preference for the latter. 

5. When a woman is standing in a quadrille, though not engaged indancing, a man not acquainted with her partner should not conversewith her. 

6. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprize him ofhis error; but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving hima lesson. 

7. Unless a man has a very graceful figure, and can use it with greatelegance, it is better for him to _walk_ through the quadrilles, orinvent some gliding movement for the occasion. 

8. At the end of the dance, the gentleman re-conducts the lady to herplace, bows, and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. Shealso bows in silence. 

9. The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance. Heshould take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as_drapery_ to the walls of the ball-room (or _wall flowers_, as thefamiliar expression is), and should see that they are invited todance. 

10. Ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast beforethose who dance but little or not at all, of the great number ofdances for which they are engaged in advance. They should also, without being perceived, recommend these less fortunate ladies togentlemen of their acquaintance. 

11. For any of the members, either sons or daughters, of the family atwhose house the ball is given, to dance frequently or constantly, denotes decided ill-breeding; the ladies should not occupy thoseplaces in a quadrille which others may wish to fill, and they should, moreover, be at leisure to attend to the rest of the company; and thegentlemen should be entertaining the married women and those who donot dance. 

12. Never hazard taking part in a quadrille, unless you know how todance tolerably; for if you are a novice, or but little skilled, youwould bring disorder into the midst of pleasure. 

13. If you accompany your wife to a dance, be careful not to dancewith her, except perhaps the first set. 

14. When that long and anxiously desiderated hour, the hour of supper, has arrived, you hand the lady you attend up or down to thesupper-table. You remain with her while she is at the table, seeingthat she has all that she desires, and then conduct her back to thedancing-rooms. 

15. A gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first setwith her, and may afterward introduce her to a friend for the purposeof dancing. 

16. Ball-room introductions cease with the object--viz. : dancing; norsubsequently anywhere else can a gentleman approach the lady bysalutation or in any other mode without a re-introduction of a formalcharacter. 

This code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionabledancing parties in the city, though most of the rules should beadhered to in any place. The good sense of the reader will enable himto modify them to suit any particular occasion. 

III. --ANNUAL FESTIVALS. 

1. _Christmas. _

At Christmas people give parties and make presents. In Europe, and insome portions of our own country, it is the most important festiveoccasion in the year. Beyond the religious observances of theCatholics, Episcopalians, and some other sects, and the universalcustom of making presents to all our relatives and intimate friends, and especially to the children, there is no matter of etiquettepeculiar to Christmas which it is necessary for us to note. We havealready spoken of presents; and religious ceremonies will find a placein another chapter. 

2. _The New Year. _

In New York, and some other cities and towns which have adopted itscustoms, every gentleman is expected to call on all his ladyacquaintances on New Year's day; and each lady on her part must beprepared properly to do the honors of her house. Refreshments areusually provided in great profusion. The etiquette of these occasionsdoes not differ materially from that of ceremonious morning calls, except that the entire day is devoted to them, and they may beextended beyond the limits of one's ordinary visiting list. The ladiesmay make their calls on the next day, or any time within the week. 

3. _Thanksgiving. _

This is the great family festival of New England--the season of homegatherings. Sons and daughters, scattered far and wide, then turninstinctively toward the old homestead, and the fireside of theirchildhood is again made glad by their presence and that of theirlittle ones. Etiquette requires fat turkeys, well roasted, a plenty of_pumpkin pies_, unbounded hospitality, genuine friendliness, andcheerful and thankful hearts. 

4. _Birthdays. _

Birthdays are sometimes made family festivals at which parties aregiven, and presents made to the one whose anniversary is celebrated. In France, these occasions are observed with great merry making andmany felicitations and gifts. 

IV. --EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS. 

Picnic excursions into the country are not occasions of ceremony, butcall for the exercise of all one's real good nature and good breeding. On leaving the carriage, cars, or steamboat, gentlemen should ofcourse relieve the ladies they attend of the shawls, baskets, etc. , with which they may have provided themselves, and give them allnecessary assistance in reaching the spot selected for thefestivities. It is also their duty and their happiness to accompanythem in their rambles, when it is the pleasure of the fair ones torequire their attendance, but _not_ to be _obtrusive_. They maysometimes wish to be alone. 

If a lady chooses to seat herself upon the ground, you are not atliberty to follow her example unless she invites you to be seated. Shemust not have occasion to think of the possibility of any improprietyon your part. You are her servant, protector, and guard of honor. Youwill of course give her your hand to assist her in rising. When thesylvan repast is served, you will see that the ladies whose cavalieryou have the honor to be, lack nothing. The ladies, social queensthough they be, should not forget that every favor or act of courtesyand deference, by whoever shown, demands some acknowledgment on theirpart--a word, a bow, a smile, or at least a kind look. 

V. --WEDDINGS. 

We copy from one of the numerous manners books before us the followingcondensed account of the usual ceremonies of a formal wedding. Asimpler, less ceremonious, and more private mode of giving legalsanction to an already existing union of hearts would be more to _our_taste; but, as the French proverb has it, _Chacun à son goût_. [K]

For a stylish wedding, the lady requires a bridegroom, twobridesmaids, two groomsmen, and a parson or magistrate, her relativesand whatever friends of both parties they may choose to invite. For aformal wedding in the evening, a week's notice is requisite. The ladyfixes the day. Her mother or nearest female relation invites theguests. The evening hour is 8 o'clock; but if the ceremony is private, and the happy couple to start immediately and alone, the ceremonyusually takes place in the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock. 

If there is an evening party, the refreshments must be as usual onsuch occasions, with the addition of wedding cake, commonly a poundcake with rich frosting, and a fruit cake. 

The dress of the bride is of the purest white; her head is commonlydressed with orange flowers, natural or artificial, and white roses. She wears few ornaments, and none but such as are given her for theoccasion. A white lace vail is often worn on the head. White longgloves and white satin slippers complete the costume. 

The dress of the bridegroom is simply the full dress of a gentleman, of unusual richness and elegance. 

The bridesmaids are dressed also in white, but more simply than thebride. 

At the hour appointed for the ceremony, the second bridesmaid andgroomsman, when there are two, enter the room; then, first bridesmaidand groomsman; and lastly the bride and bridegroom. They enter, theladies taking the arms of the gentlemen, and take seats appointed, sothat the bride is at the right of the bridegroom, and each supportedby their respective attendants. 

A chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate in front of thehappy pair. When he comes forward to perform the ceremony, the bridalparty rises. The first bridesmaid, at the proper time, removes theglove from the left hand of the bride; or, what seems to us moreproper, both bride and bridegroom have their gloves removed at thebeginning of the ceremony. In joining hands they take each other'sright hand, the bride and groom partially turning toward each other. The wedding ring, of plain fine gold, provided beforehand by thegroom, is sometimes given to the clergyman, who presents it. It isplaced upon the third finger of the left hand. 

When the ceremony is ended, and the twain are pronounced one flesh, the company present their congratulations--the clergyman first, thenthe mother, the father of the bride, and the relations; then thecompany, the groomsmen acting as masters of ceremonies, bringingforward and introducing the ladies, who wish the happy couple joy, happiness, prosperity; but not exactly "many happy returns. "

The bridegroom takes an early occasion to thank the clergyman, and toput in his hand, at the same time, nicely enveloped, a piece of gold, according to his ability and generosity. The gentleman who dropped twohalf dollars into the minister's hands, as they were held out, in theprayer, was a little confused by the occasion. 

When a dance follows the ceremony and congratulations, the bridedances, first, with the first groomsman, taking the head of the roomand the quadrille, and the bridegroom with the first bridesmaid;afterwards as they please. The party breaks up early--certainly bytwelve o'clock. [L]

The cards of the newly married couple are sent to those only whoseacquaintance they wish to continue. No offense should be taken bythose whom they may choose to exclude. Send your card, therefore, withthe lady's, to all whom you desire to include in the circle of yourfuture acquaintances. The lady's card will have engraved upon it, below her name, "At home, ---- evening, at--o'clock. " They should besent a week previous to the evening indicated. 

VI. --FUNERALS. 

When any member of a family is dead, it is customary to sendintelligence of the misfortune to all who have been connected with thedeceased in relations of business or friendship. The letters which aresent contain a special invitation to assist at the funeral. Such aletter requires no answer. 

At an interment or funeral service, the members of the family areentitled to the first places. They are nearest to the coffin, whetherin the procession or in the church. The nearest relations go in a fullmourning dress. 

We are excused from accompanying the body to the burying-ground, unless the deceased be a relation or an intimate friend. If we go asfar as the burying-ground, we should give the first carriage to therelations or most intimate friends of the deceased. We should walkwith the head uncovered, silently, and with such a mien as theoccasion naturally suggests. 

FOOTNOTES:

[I] "Etiquette for Gentlemen. "

[J] Madame Celnart

[K] Each one to his taste. 

[L] "Manners Book. "

VIII. 

THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES. 

 To ladies always yield your seat, And lift your hat upon the street. --_Uncle Dan. _

I. --ON THE STREET. 

Nowhere has a man or a woman occasion more frequently to exercise thevirtue of courtesy than on the street; and in no place is thedistinction between the polite and the vulgar more marked. Thefollowing are some of the rules of street etiquette:

Except in a case of necessity, you should not stop a business man onthe street during business hours. He may have appointments, and, inany event, his time is precious. If you must speak with him, walk onin his direction, or if you detain him, state your errand briefly, andpolitely apologize for the detention. 

Do not allow yourself to be so absent-minded or absorbed in yourbusiness as not to recognize and salute your acquaintances on thestreet. You must not make the pressure of your affairs an excuse forrudeness. If you do not intend to stop, on meeting a friend, touchyour hat, say "Good-morning, " or "I hope you are well, " and pass on. If you stop, you may offer a gloved hand, if necessary, withoutapology. Waiting to draw off a tight glove is awkward. In stopping totalk on the street, you should step aside from the human current. Ifyou are compelled to detain a friend, when he is walking with astranger, apologize to the stranger and release your friend as soon aspossible. The stranger will withdraw, in order not to hear yourconversation. Never leave a friend suddenly on the street, either tojoin another or for any other reason, without a brief apology. 

In walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in age or station, give them the place of honor, by taking yourself the outer side of thepavement. 

When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted, you should liftyour hat, as you bow to her; but unless you are intimate friends, itis the lady's duty to give some sign of recognition first, as shemight _possibly_ choose to "cut" you, and thus place you in a veryawkward position; but unless you have forfeited all claims to respect, she certainly _should_ not do such a thing. 

In meeting a gentleman whom you know, walking with a lady with whomyou are not acquainted, you are to bow with grave respect to heralso. [M] If you are acquainted with both, you bow first to the lady, and then, less profoundly, to the gentleman. 

If your glove be dark colored, or your hand ungloved, do not offer toshake hands with a lady in full dress. If you wish to speak with alady whom you meet on the street, turn and walk with her; but youshould not accompany her far, except at her request, and should alwayslift your hat and bow upon withdrawing. 

Be careful to avoid intrusion everywhere; and for this reason be verysure that such an addition to their party would be perfectly agreeablebefore you join a lady and gentleman who may be walking together;otherwise you might find yourself in the position of an "awkwardthird. "

In walking with ladies on the street, gentlemen will of course treatthem with the most scrupulous _politeness_. This requires that youplace yourself in that relative position in which you can best shieldthem from danger or inconvenience. You generally give them the wallside, but circumstances may require you to reverse this position. 

You must offer your arm to a lady with whom you are walking wheneverher safety, comfort, or convenience may seem to require such attentionon your part. At night, in taking a long walk in the country, or inascending the steps of a public building, your arm should always betendered. 

In walking with ladies or elderly people, a gentleman must not forgetto accommodate his speed to theirs. In walking with _any_ person youshould _keep step_ with military precision. 

If a lady with whom you are walking receives the salute of a personwho is a stranger to you, you should return it, not for yourself, butfor her. 

When a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a shop, or _store_ (ifwe must use an Americanism to explain a good English word), you shouldhold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable; foryou must never pass before a lady anywhere, if you can avoid it, orwithout an apology. 

If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he willlift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If hecan not give the information required, he will express his regrets. 

"When tripping over the pavement, " Madame Celnart says, "a lady shouldgracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle. With her righthand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw themtoward the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with bothhands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can be tolerated only for amoment, when the mud is very deep. " This was written in Paris, and notin New York. 

American ladies dress too richly and elaborately for the street. Youshould dress well--neatly and in good taste, and in material adaptedto the season; but the full costume, suitable to the carriage or thedrawing-room, is entirely out of place in a shopping excursion, anddoes not indicate a refined taste; in other words, it looks_snobbish_. 

The out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or amantle. Shawls are difficult to wear gracefully, and few Americanladies wear them well. You should not drag a shawl tight to yourshoulders, and stick out your elbows, but fold it loosely andgracefully, so that it may fully envelop the figure. 

II. --SHOPPING. 

Madame Celnart has the following hints to the ladies on this importantsubject. Having enjoined the most patient and forbearing courtesy onthe part of the shopkeeper, [N] she proceeds:

"Every civility ought to be reciprocal, or nearly so. If the officiouspoliteness of the shopkeeper does not require an equal return, he hasat least a claim to civil treatment; and, finally, if this politenessproceed from interest, is this a reason why purchasers should add tothe unpleasantness of his profession, and disregard violating thelaws of politeness? Many very respectable people allow themselves somany infractions in this particular, that I think it my duty to dwellupon it. 

"You should never say, _I want such a thing_, but _Show me, if youplease, that article_, or use some other polite form of address. Ifthey do not show you at first the articles you desire, and you areobliged to examine a great number, apologize to the shopkeeper for thetrouble you give him. If after all you can not suit yourself, renewyour apologies when you go away. 

"If you make small purchases, say, _I am sorry for having troubled youfor so trifling a thing_. If you spend a considerable time in theselection of articles, apologize to the shopkeeper who waits for youto decide. 

"If the price seems to you too high, and the shop has not fixedprices, ask an abatement in brief and civil terms, and without everappearing to suspect the good faith of the shopkeeper. If he does notyield, do not enter into a contest with him, but go away, aftertelling him politely that you think you can obtain the article cheaperelsewhere, but if not, that you will give him the preference. "

III. --AT CHURCH. 

If you go to church, be in season, that you may not interrupt thecongregation by entering after the services have commenced. Thecelebrated Mrs. Chapone said that it was a part of her religion not todisturb the religion of others. We may all adopt with profit thatarticle of her creed. Always remove your hat on entering a church. Ifyou attend ladies, you open the door of the slip for them, allowingthem to enter first. Your demeanor should of course be such as becomesthe place and occasion. If you are so unfortunate as to have noreligious feelings yourself, you must respect those of others. 

It is the custom in some places for gentlemen who may be already in aslip or pew to deploy into the aisle, on the arrival of a lady who maydesire admittance, allow her to enter, and then resume their seats. This is a very awkward and annoying maneuver. 

You should pay due respect to the observances of the church youattend. If you have conscientious scruples against kneeling in anEpiscopal or Catholic church, you should be a little moreconscientious, and stay away. 

Good manners do not require young gentlemen to stand about the door ofa church to see the ladies come out; and the ladies will excuse theomission of this mark of admiration. 

IV. --AT PLACES OF AMUSEMENT. 

Gentlemen who attend ladies to the opera, to concerts, to lectures, etc. , should endeavor to go early in order to secure good seats, unless, indeed, they have been previously secured, and to avoid thedisagreeable crowd which they are liable to encounter if they go alittle later. 

Gentlemen _should_ take off their hats on entering _any_ public room(or dwelling either). They will, of course, do so if attending ladies, on showing them their seats. Having taken your seats, remain quietlyin them, and avoid, unless absolute necessity require it, incommodingothers by crowding out and in before them. If obliged to do this, politely apologize for the trouble you cause them. 

To talk during the performance is an act of rudeness and injustice. You thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights ofothers, who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers, andnot for listening to you. 

If you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera, concert, orlecture, you should retain your seat at her side; but if you have nolady with you, and have taken a desirable seat, you should, if needbe, cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady, for one lesseligible. 

Be careful to secure your _libretto_ or opera book, concert bill orprogramme, before taking your seat. 

To the opera, ladies should wear opera hoods, which are to be takenoff on entering. In this country, custom _permits_ the wearing ofbonnets; but as they are (in our opinion) neither comfortable norbeautiful, we advise the ladies to dispense with their use wheneverthey can. 

Gloves should be worn by ladies in church, and in places of publicamusement. Do not take them off to shake hands. Great care should betaken that they are well made and fit neatly. 

V. --IN A PICTURE GALLERY. 

A gallery of paintings or sculpture is a temple of Art, and he islittle better than a barbarian who can enter it without a feeling ofreverence for the presiding divinity of the place. Loud talking, laughing, pushing before others who are examining a picture or statue, moving seats noisily, or any rude or discourteous conduct, seems likeprofanation in such a place. Avoid them by all means, we entreat you;and though you wear your hat everywhere else, reverently remove ithere. 

VI. --THE PRESENCE. 

"The mode in which respect to the presence of a human being should beshown maybe left to custom. In the East, men take off their shoesbefore entering an apartment. We take off the hat, and add a verbalsalutation. The mode is unimportant; it may vary with the humor of themoment; it may change with the changing fashion; but no one whorespects himself, and has a proper regard for others, will omit togive _some_ sign that he recognizes an essential difference between ahorse and a man, between a stable and a house. "[O]

VII. --­TRAVELING. 

Under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded, or rudenessmore frequently displayed, than in traveling. The infelicities andvexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all thelatent selfishness of one's nature; and the commonest observances ofpoliteness are, we are sorry to say, sometimes neglected. In thescramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at apublic table, good manners are too frequently elbowed aside andtrampled under foot. Even our national deference for women isoccasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway carsor the steamer. 

To avoid the scramble we have alluded to, purchase tickets and securestate-rooms in advance, if practicable, especially if you areaccompanied by ladies, and, in any event, _be in good time_. 

In the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personalcomfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment therights of your fellow-travelers, or forget the respectful courtesydue to woman. The pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to theladies, and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them witha cheerful politeness. In a stage-coach you give them the back seat, unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself, if theirconvenience requires it. But a word to--_Americans_ will be enough onthis point. 

And what do good manners require of the ladies? That which is but alittle thing to the bestower, but of priceless value to thereceiver--_thanks_--a smile--a grateful look at least. Is this toomuch?

Mr. Arbiter, whom we find quoted in a newspaper, has some rathersevere strictures on the conduct of American ladies. He says:

"We boast of our politeness as a nation, and point out to foreigners, with pride, the alacrity with which Americans make way for women inall public places. Some love to call this chivalry. It is certainly anamiable trait of character, though frequently carried to an absurdextent. But what the men possess in this form of politeness the womenappear to have lost. They never think of acknowledging, in any way, the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat, but settlethemselves triumphantly in their new places, as if they were entitledto them by divine right. "

We are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance oftruth in this charge. We have had constant opportunities to observethe behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowdedferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and theirsuburbs. We have, of course (as what gentleman has not?), relinquishedour seats hundreds of times to ladies. _For the occasional bow orsmile of acknowledgment, or_ _pleasant "Thank you, " which we havereceived in return, we have almost invariably been indebted to somefair foreigner. _

We believe that American ladies are as polite _at heart_ as those ofany other nation, but _they do not say it_. 

The fair readers of our little book will, we are sure, excuse us forthese hints, since they are dictated by the truest and most reverentlove for their sex, and a sincere desire to serve them. 

If in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid, or anaged person, or a woman with children and without a male protector, feelings of humanity, as well as sentiments of politeness, willdictate such kind attentions as, without being obtrusive, you can findoccasion to bestow. 

You have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation, if thecurrent of air thus produced annoy or endanger the health of another. There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best, and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them as much aspossible, and to cheerfully bear his own part. Life is a journey, andwe are all fellow-travelers. 

If in riding in an omnibus, or crossing a ferry with a friend, hewishes to pay for you, never insist on paying for yourself or forboth. If he is before you, let the matter pass without remark, andreturn the compliment on another occasion. 

FOOTNOTES:

[M] "Colonel Lunettes"

[N] For hints on the importance of politeness as an element of successin business, see "How to Do Business. "

[O] James Parton. 

IX. 

LOVE AND COURTSHIP. 

 Learn to win a lady's faith Nobly, as the thing is high; Bravely, as for life and death, With a loyal gravity. Lead her from the festive boards; Point her to the starry skies; Guard her by your truthful words Pure from courtship's flatteries. --_Mrs. Browning. _

I. --A HINT OR TWO. 

To treat the subject of love and courtship in all its bearings wouldrequire a volume. It is with the etiquette of the tender passion thatwe have to do here. A few preliminary hints, however, will not bedeemed out of place. 

Boys often fall in love (and girls too, we believe) at a very tenderage. Some charming cousin, or a classmate of his sister, in thevillage school, weaves silken meshes around the throbbing heart of theyoung man in his teens. This is well. He is made better and happier byhis boyish loves--for he generally has a succession of them, but theyare seldom permanent. They are only beautiful foreshadowings of thedeeper and more earnest love of manhood, which is to bind him to his_other self_ with ties which only death can sever. Read Ik Marvel's"Dream Life. "

Before a young man has reached the proper age to marry--saytwenty-five, as an average--he ought to have acquired such a knowledgeof himself, physically and mentally considered, and of the principleswhich ought to decide the choice of matrimonial partners and governthe relations of the sexes, as will enable him to set up a properstandard of female excellence, and to determine what qualities, physical and mental, should characterize the woman who is to be theangel of his home and the mother of his children. With this knowledgehe is prepared to go into society and choose his mate, followingtrustingly the attractions of his soul. Love is an affair of theheart, but the head should be its privy counselor. 

Do not make up your mind to wait till you have acquired a fortunebefore you marry. You should not, however, assume the responsibilitiesof a family without a reasonable prospect of being able to maintainone. If you are established in business, or have an adequate incomefor the immediate requirements of the new relation, you may safelytrust your own energy and self-reliance for the rest. 

Women reach maturity earlier than men, and may marry earlier--say (asan average age), at twenty. The injunction, "Know thyself, " applieswith as much emphasis to a woman as to a man. Her perceptions arekeener than ours, and her sensibilities finer, and she may trust moreto _instinct_, but she should add to these natural qualifications athorough knowledge of her own physical and mental constitution, and ofwhatever relates to the requirements of her destiny as wife andmother. The importance of sound _health_ and _a perfect development_, can not be overrated. _Without these you are_ NEVER _fit to marry_. [P]

Having satisfied yourself that you really love a woman--be careful, asyou value your future happiness and hers, not to make a _mistake_ inthis matter--you will find occasion to manifest, in a thousand ways, your preference, by means of those tender but delicate anddeferential attentions which love always prompts. "Let the heartspeak. " The heart you address will understand its language. Beearnest, sincere, self-loyal, and manly in this matter above allothers. Let there be no nauseous flattery and no sickly sentimentalityLeave the former to fops and the latter to beardless school-boys. 

Though women do not "propose"--that is, as a general rule--they "makelove" to the men none the less; and it is right. The divine attractionis mutual, and should have its proper expression on both sides. If youare attracted toward a man who seems to you an embodiment of all thatis noble and manly, you do injustice both to him and yourself if youdo not, in some way entirely consistent with maiden modesty, allow himto _see_ and _feel_ that he pleases you. But _you_ do not need ourinstructions, and we will only hint, in conclusion, that forwardness, flirting, and a too _obtrusive_ manifestation of preference are _not_agreeable to men of sense. As a man should be _manly_, so should awoman be _womanly_ in her love. 

II. --OBSERVANCES. 

1. _Particular Attentions. _

Avoid even the slightest appearance of _trifling_ with the feelings ofa woman. A female coquette is bad enough. A male coquette ought to bebanished from society. Let there be a clearly perceived, if not aneasily defined, distinction between the attentions of common courtesyor of friendship and those of love. All misunderstanding on this pointcan and must be avoided. 

The particular attentions you pay to the object of your devotionshould not make you rude or uncivil to other women. Every woman is_her_ sister, and should be treated with becoming respect andattention. Your special attentions to her in society should not besuch as to make her or you the subject of ridicule. Make no publicexhibition of your endearments. 

2. _Presents. _

If you make presents, let them be selected with good taste, and ofsuch cost as is fully warranted by your means. Your mistress will notlove you better for any extravagance in this matter. The value of agift is not to be estimated in dollars and cents. A lady of good senseand delicacy will discourage in her lover all needless expenditure inministering to her gratification, or in proof of his devotion. 

3. _Confidants. _

Lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their affairs ofthe heart. In general, they should be of the opposite sex. A young manmay with profit open his heart to his mother, an elder sister, or afemale friend considerably older than himself. The young lady may withequal advantage make a brother, an uncle, or some good middle-agedmarried man the repository of her love secrets, her hopes, and herfears. 

4. _Declarations. _

We shall make no attempt to prescribe a form for "popping thequestion. " Each must do it in his own way; but let it be clearlyunderstood and admit no evasion. A single word--yes, less than that, on the lady's part, will suffice to answer it. If the carefullystudied phrases which you have repeated so many times and so fluentlyto yourself, will persist in sticking in your throat and choking you, put them correctly and neatly on a sheet of the finest white notepaper, inclosed in a fine but plain white envelope (see "How toWrite"), seal it handsomely with _wax_, address and direct itcarefully, and find some way to convey it to her hand. The lady'sanswer should be frank and unequivocal, revealing briefly and modestlyher real feelings and consequent decision. 

5. _Asking "Pa. "_

Asking the consent of parents or guardians is, in this country, wherewomen claim a right to choose for themselves, a mere form, and mayoften be dispensed with. The lady's wishes, however, should becomplied with in this as in all other matters. And if consent isrefused? This will rarely happen. If it does, there is a remedy, andwe should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the womanwho would hesitate to apply it. If she is of age, she has a legal aswell as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom shepleases. If she does not love you well enough to do this, _at anysacrifice_, you should consider the refusal of her friends a veryfortunate occurrence. If she is not of age, the legal aspect of theaffair may be different, but, at worst, she can wait until hermajority puts her in possession of all her rights. 

6. _Refusals. _

If a lady finds it necessary to say "no" to a proposal, she should doit in the kindest and most considerate manner, so as not to inflictunnecessary pain; but her answer should be definite and decisive, andthe gentleman should at once withdraw his suit. If ladies will my "no"when they mean "yes, " to a sincere and earnest suitor, they mustsuffer the consequences. 

7. _Engagement. _

The "engaged" need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature ofthe relation in which they stand to each other, neither should theyattempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each othershould be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct inreference to other persons of the opposite sex, such as will not giveoccasion for a single pang of jealousy. 

Of the "getting ready, " which follows the engagement, on the part ofthe lady, our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tellthem. 

8. _Breaking Off. _

Engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directionscontained in the first section of this chapter, will seldom be brokenoff. If such a painful _necessity_ occurs, let it be met withfirmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a _mistake_, it isinfinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A_marriage_ is not so easily "broken off. "

On breaking off an engagement, all letters, presents, etc. , should bereturned, and both parties should consider themselves pledged to themost honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter, and to the private affairs of each other, a knowledge of which theirformer relation may have put into their possession. 

9. _Marriage. _

It devolves upon the lady to fix the day. She will hardly disregardthe stereotyped request of the impatient lover to make it an "early"one; but she knows best how soon the never-to-be-neglected"preparations" can be made. For the wedding ceremonies see ChapterVII. A few hints to husbands and wives may be found in Chapter V. 

FOOTNOTE:

[P] See "Physical Perfection; or How to Acquire and Retain Beauty, Grace, and Strength, " now (1857) in the course of preparation. 

X. 

PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE. 

 The object of a meeting for deliberation is, of course, to obtain a free expression of opinion and a fair decision of the questions discussed. Without rules of order this object would, in most cases, be utterly defeated; for there would be no uniformity in the modes of proceeding, no restraint upon indecorous or disorderly conduct, no protection to the rights and privileges of members, no guarantee against the caprices and usurpations of the presiding officer, no safeguard against tyrannical majorities, nor any suitable regard to the rights of the minority. --_McElligott. _

I. --COURTESY IN DEBATE. 

The fundamental principles of courtesy, so strenuously insisted uponthroughout this work, must be rigorously observed in the debatingsociety, lyceum, legislative assembly, and wherever questions arepublicly debated. In fact, we have not yet discovered _any_ occasionon which a gentleman is justified in being anything less than--agentleman. 

In a paragraph appended to the constitution and by-laws of a New Yorkdebating club, members are enjoined to treat each other with delicacyand respect, conduct all discussions with candor, moderation, and opengenerosity, avoid all personal allusions and sarcastic languagecalculated to wound the feelings of a brother, and cherish concord andgood fellowship. The spirit of this injunction should pervade theheart of every man who attempts to take part in the proceedings of anydeliberative assembly. 

II. --ORIGIN OF THE PARLIAMENTARY CODE. 

The rules of order of our State Legislatures, and of other lessimportant deliberative bodies, are, in almost all fundamental points, the same as those of the National Congress, which, again, arederived, in the main, from those of the British Parliament, thedifferences which exist growing out of differences in government andinstitutions. It is in allusion to its origin that the code of rulesand regulations thus generally adopted is often called "The CommonCode of Parliamentary Law. "

III. --RULES OF ORDER. 

1. _Motions. _

A deliberative body being duly organized, motions are in order. Theparty moving a resolution, or making a motion in its simplest form, introduces it either with or without remarks, by saying: "Mr. President, I beg leave to offer the following resolution, " or "I movethat, " etc. A motion is not debatable till seconded. The memberseconding simply says: "I second that motion. " The resolution ormotion is then stated by the chairman, and is open for debate. 

2. _Speaking. _

A member wishing to speak on a question, resolution, or motion, mustrise in his place and respectfully address his remarks to the chairmanor president, _confining himself to the question, and avoidingpersonality_. Should more than one member rise at the same time, thechairman must decide which is entitled to the floor. No member mustspeak more than once till every member wishing to speak shall havespoken. In debating societies (and it is for their benefit that wemake this abstract) it is necessary to define not only how many times, but how long at each time a member may speak on a question. 

3. _Submitting a Question. _

When the debate or deliberation upon a subject appears to be at aclose, the presiding officer simply asks, "Is the society [assembly, or whatever the body may be] ready for the question?" or, "Are youready for the question?" If no one signifies a desire further todiscuss or consider the subject, he then submits the question in dueform. 

4. _Voting. _

The voting is generally by "ayes and noes, " and the answers on bothsides being duly given, the presiding officer announces the result, saying, "The ayes have it, " or, "The noes have it, " according as hefinds one side or the other in the majority. If there is a doubt inhis mind which side has the larger number, he says, "The ayes _appear_to have it, " or, "The noes _appear_ to have it, " as the case may be. If there is no dissent, he adds, "The ayes _have_ it, " or, "The noes_have_ it. " But should the president be unable to decide, or if hisdecision be questioned, and a division of the house be called for, itis his duty immediately to divide or arrange the assembly as to allowthe votes on each side to be accurately counted; and if the membersare equally divided, the president must give the casting vote. It isthe duty of every member to vote; but in some deliberative bodies amember may be excused at his own request. Sometimes it is deemedadvisable to record the names of members in connection with the votesthey give, in which case the roll is called by the secretary, and eachanswers "yes" or "no, " which is noted or marked opposite his name. 

5. _A Quorum. _

A quorum is such a number of members as may be required, by rule orstatute, to be present at a meeting in order to render itstransactions valid or legal. 

6. _The Democratic Principle. _

All questions, unless their decision be otherwise fixed by law, aredetermined by a majority of votes. 

7. _Privileged Questions. _

There are certain motions which are allowed to supersede a questionalready under debate. These are called privileged questions. Thefollowing are the usually recognized privileged questions:

1. _Adjournment. _--A motion to adjourn is always in order, and takesprecedence of all others; but it must not be entertained while amember is speaking, unless he give way for that purpose, nor while avote is in progress. It is not debatable, and can not be amended. 

2. _To Lie on the Table. _--A motion to lay a subject on thetable--that is, to set it aside till it is the pleasure of the body toresume its consideration--generally takes precedence of all others, except the motion to adjourn. It can neither be debated nor amended. 

3. _The Previous Question. _--The intention of the previous question isto arrest discussion and test at once the sense of the meeting. Itsform is, "Shall the main question now be put?" It is not debatable, and can not be amended. An affirmative decision precludes all furtherdebate on the main question. The effect of a negative decision, _unless otherwise determined by a special rule_, is to leave the mainquestion and all amendments just as it found them. 

4. _Postponement. _--A motion to postpone the consideration of aquestion indefinitely, which is equivalent to setting it asidealtogether, may be amended by inserting a certain day. It is notdebatable. 

5. _Commitment. _--A motion to commit is made when a question, otherwise admissible, is presented in an objectionable orinconvenient form. If there be no standing committee to which it canbe properly submitted, a select committee may be raised for thepurpose. It may be amended. 

6. _Amendment. _--The legitimate use of a motion to amend is to corrector improve the original motion or resolution; but a motion properlybefore an assembly may be altered in _any_ way; even so as to turn itentirely from its original purpose, unless some rule or law shallexist to prevent this subversion. An amendment may be amended, buthere the process must cease. An amendment must of course be put tovote before the original question. A motion to amend holds the samerank as the previous question and indefinite postponement, and thatwhich is moved first must be put first. It may be superseded, however, by a motion to postpone to a certain day, or a motion to commit. 

7. _Orders of the Day. _--Subjects appointed for a specified time arecalled orders of the day, and a motion for them takes precedence ofall other business, except a motion to adjourn, or a question ofprivilege. 

8. _Questions of Privilege. _--These are questions which involve therights and privileges of individual members, or of the society orassembly collectively. They take precedence over all otherpropositions, except a motion to adjourn. 

9. _Questions of Order. _--In case of any breach of the rules of thesociety or body, any member may rise to the point of order, and insistupon its due enforcement; but in case of a difference of opinionwhether a rule has been violated or not, the question must bedetermined before the application of the rule can be insisted upon. Such a question is usually decided upon by the presiding officer, without debate; but any member may appeal from his decision, anddemand a vote of the house on the matter. A question of order isdebatable, and the presiding officer, contrary to rule in other cases, may participate in the discussion. 

10. _Reading of Papers. _--When papers or documents of any kind arelaid before a deliberative assembly, every member has a right to havethem read before he can be required to vote upon them. They aregenerally read by the secretary, on the reading being called for, without the formality of a vote. 

11. _Withdrawal of a Motion. _--Unless there be a rule to that effect, a motion once before the assembly can not be withdrawn without a voteof the house, on a motion to allow its withdrawal. 

12. _The Suspension of Rules. _--When anything is proposed which isforbidden by a special rule, it must be preceded by a motion for thesuspension of the rule, which, if there be no standing rule to thecontrary, may be carried by a majority of votes; but most deliberativebodies have an established rule on this subject, requiring a fixedproportion of the votes--usually two thirds. 

13. _The Motion to Reconsider. _--The intention of this is to enable anassembly to revise a decision found to be erroneous. The time withinwhich a motion to reconsider may be entertained is generally fixed bya special rule; and the general rule is, that it must emanate fromsome member who voted with the majority. In Congress, a motion toreconsider takes precedence of all other motions, except the motion toadjourn. 

8. _Order of Business. _

In all permanently organized bodies there should be an order ofbusiness, established by a special rule or by-law; but where no suchrule or law exists, the president, unless otherwise directed by avote of the assembly, arranges the business in such order as he maythink most desirable. The following is the order of business of theNew York Debating Club, referred to in a previous section. It may beeasily so modified as to be suitable for any similar society:

 1. Call to order. 2. Calling the roll. 3. Reading the minutes of previous meeting. 4. Propositions for membership. 5. Reports of special committee. 6. Balloting for candidates. 7. Reports of standing committee. 8. Secretary's report. 9. Treasurer's report. 10. Reading for the evening. 11. Recitations for the evening. 12. Candidates initiated. 13. Unfinished business. 14. Debate. 15. New business. 16. Adjournment. 

9. _Order of Debate. _

1. A member having got the floor, is entitled to be heard to the end, or till the time fixed by rule has expired; and all interruptions, except a call to order, are not only out of order, but rude in theextreme. 

2. A member who temporarily yields the floor to another, is generallypermitted to resume as soon as the interruption ceases, but he can notclaim to do so as a right. 

3. It is neither in order nor in good taste to designate members byname in debate, and they must in no case be directly addressed. Suchforms as, "The gentleman who has just taken his seat, " or, "The memberon the other side of the house, " etc. , may be made use of to designatepersons. 

4. Every speaker is bound to confine himself to the question. Thisrule is, however, very liberally interpreted in most deliberativeassemblies. 

5. Every speaker is bound to avoid personalities, and to exercise inall respects a courteous and gentlemanly deportment. Principles andmeasures are to be discussed, and not the motives or character ofthose who advocate them. [Q]

FOOTNOTE:

[Q] The foregoing rules of order have been mainly condensed from thatexcellent work, "The American Debater, " by James N. McElligott, LL. D. , to which the reader is referred for a complete exposition of the wholesubject of debating. Published by Ivison and Phinney, New York, andfor sale by Fowler and Wells. 

XI. 

MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS. 

 These, some will say, are little things. It is true, they are little but it is equally clear that they are necessary things. --_Chesterfield. _

I. --REPUBLICAN DISTINCTIONS. 

We have defined equality in another place. We fully accept thedoctrine as there set forth. We have no respect for mere conventionaland arbitrary distinctions. Hereditary titles command no deferencefrom us. Lords and dukes are entitled to no respect simply becausethey are lords and dukes. If they are really _noble men_, we honorthem accordingly. Their titles are mere social fictions. 

True republicanism requires that every man shall have an equalchance--that every man shall be free to become as unequal as he can. No man should be valued the less or the more on account of hisgrandfather, his position, his possessions, or his occupation. The MANshould be superior to the accidents of his birth, and should take thatrank which is due to his merit. [R]

The error committed by our professedly republican communitiesconsists, not in the recognition of classes and grades of rank, but inplacing them, as they too often do, on artificial and not on naturalgrounds. We have had frequent occasion, in the preceding pages, tospeak of superiors and inferiors. We fully recognize the relationwhich these words indicate. It is useless to quarrel with Nature, whohas nowhere in the universe given us an example of the absolute, unqualified, dead-level equality which some pseudo-reformers havevainly endeavored to institute among men. Such leveling is neitherpossible nor desirable. Harmony is born of difference, and not ofsameness. 

We have in our country a class of toad-eaters who delight in payingthe most obsequious homage to fictitious rank of every kind. A vulgarmillionaire of the Fifth Avenue, and a foreign adventurer with ameaningless title, are equally objects of their misplaced deference. Losing sight of their own manhood and self-respect, they descend tothe most degrading sycophancy. We have little hope of benefiting them. They are "joined to their idols; let them alone. "

But a much larger class of our people are inclined to go to theopposite extreme, and ignore veneration, in its human aspect, altogether. They have no reverence for anybody or anything. This classof people will read our book, and, we trust, profit by its well-meanthints. We respect them, though we can not always commend theirmanners. They have independence and manliness, but fail to accord duerespect to the manhood of others. It is for their special benefit thatwe leave touched with considerable emphasis on the deference due toage and _genuine_ rank, from whatever source derived. 

Your townsman, Mr. Dollarmark, has no claim on you for any specialtoken of respect, simply because he inherited half a million, whichhas grown in his hands to a million and a half, while you can notcount half a thousand, or because he lives in his own palatialmansion, and you in a hired cottage; but your neighbor, Mr. Anvil, who, setting out in life, like yourself, without a penny, has amasseda little fortune by his own unaided exertions, and secured a highsocial position by his manliness, integrity, and good breeding, isentitled to a certain deference on your part--a recognition of hismerits and his superiority. Mr. Savant, who has gained distinction forhimself and conferred honor on his country by his scientificdiscoveries, and your aged friend Mr. Goodman, who, though a strangerto both wealth and fame, is drawing toward the close of a long anduseful life, during which he has helped to build up and give characterto the place in which he lives, have, each in his own way, _earned_the right to some token of deference from those who have not yetreached an equally elevated position. 

It is not for birth, or wealth, or occupation, or any other accidentalcircumstance, that we ask reverence, but for _inherent nobilitywrought out in life_. This is what should give men rank and titles ina republic. 

Your hired man, Patrick, may be your inferior, but it is not becausehe is your hired man. Another man, who is your _superior_ in everyway, may stand in the same business relation to you. He may sell youcertain stipulated services for a stipulated amount of money; but youbargain for no deference that your real social position and characterdo not call for from him. He, and not you, may be entitled to the"wall side, " and to precedence everywhere. 

II. --CITY AND COUNTRY. 

The words _civil_ and _civilized_ are derived from the Latin _civitas_(Ital. , _città_), a city, and _polite_, from the Greek [Greek: polis](_polis_), a city; because cities are the first to become civilized, or _civil_, and polite, or _polished_ (Latin, _polire_). They arestill, as a general rule, the home of the most highly cultivatedpeople, as well as of the rudest and most degraded, and unquestionedarbiters of fashion and social observances. For this reason the rulesof etiquette laid down in this and all other works on the subject ofmanners, are calculated, as the astronomers say, for the meridian ofthe city. The observances of the country are borrowed from the city, and modified to suit the social condition and wants of the differentlocalities. This must always be borne in mind, and your behaviorregulated accordingly. The white or pale yellow gloves, which you mustwear during the whole evening at a fashionable evening party in thecity, under pain of being set down as unbearably vulgar, would be veryabsurd appendages at a social gathering at a farm-house in thecountry. None but a _snob_ would wear them at such a place. So withother things. 

III. --IMPORTED MANNERS. 

N. P. Willis says, "We should be glad to see a distinctly Americanschool of good manners, in which all useless etiquette were thrownaside, but every politeness adopted or invented which could promotesensible and easy exchanges of good-will and sociability. Good senseand consideration for others should be the basis of every usage ofpolite life that is worth regarding. Indeed, we have long thought thatour country was old enough to adopt measures and etiquettes of itsown, based, like all other politeness, upon benevolence and commonsense. To get rid of imported etiquette is the first thing to do forAmerican politeness. "

This is an important truth well stated. We have had enough of mereimported conventionalism in manners. Our usages should not be Englishor French usages, further than English and French usages are foundedon universal principles. Politeness is the same everywhere and always, but the forms of etiquette must change with times and places; for anobservance which may be proper and useful in London or Paris, may beabundantly absurd in New York. 

IV. --FICTITIOUS TITLES. 

In answer to a correspondent who inquires whether an American citizenshould address a European nobleman by his title, _Life Illustrated_says:

"We answer, unhesitatingly, No. Most of the European titles are purelyfictitious, as well as ridiculous. The Duke of Northumberland, forexample, has nothing in particular to do with Northumberland, nor doeshe exercise dukeship (or leadership) over anything except his privateestate. The title is a perfect absurdity; it means nothing whatever;it is a mere nickname; and Mr. Percy is a fool for permitting himselfto be addressed as 'My Lord Duke, ' and 'Your Grace. ' Indeed, even inEngland, gentlemen use those titles very sparingly, and servants alonehabitually employ then. American citizens who are thrown, in theirtravels, or in their intercourse with society, into communication withpersons bearing titles, may treat them with all due respect withoutGracing or My-Lording them. In our opinion, they should do so. And wehave faith enough in the good sense of the English people to believethat the next generation, or the next but one, will see a generalabandonment of fictitious titles by the voluntary action of the verypeople who hold them. At the same time, we are inclined to think thatthe bestowment of real titles--titles which mean something, titlesgiven in recognition of distinguished worth and eminent services, titles not hereditary--will be one of the most cherished prerogativesof the enlightened states of the good time coming. The first step, however, must be the total abolition of all titles which arefictitious and hereditary. "

V. --A MIRROR FOR CERTAIN MEN. 

The following rather broad hints to certain bipeds who _ought_ to begentlemen, were clipped from some newspaper. We are sorry we do notknow to whom to credit the article:

"Who can tell why women are expected, on pain of censure andavoidance, to conform to a high standard of behavior, while men areindulged in another a great deal lower? We never could fullyunderstand why men should be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco, insmoking and in spitting everywhere almost, and at all times, whereas awoman can not do any of these things without exciting aversion anddisgust. Why ought a man to be allowedly so self-indulgent, puttinghis limbs and person in all manner of attitudes, however uncouth anddistasteful, merely because such vulgarities yield him temporaryeases, while a woman is always required to preserve an attitude, ifnot of positive grace, at least of decency and propriety, from whichif she departs, though but for an instant, she forfeits respect, andis instantly branded as a low creature!

"Can any one say why a man when he has the tooth-ache, or is called tosuffer in any other way, should be permitted, as a matter of course, to groan and bellow, and vent his feelings very much in the style ofan animal not endowed with reason, while a woman similarly sufferingmust bear it in silence and decorum? Why, should men, as a class, habitually, and as a matter of right, boldly wear the coarsestqualities of human nature on the outside, and swear and fight, andbeastify themselves, so that they are obliged to be put into separatepens in the cars on railroads, and at the dépôts, while woman mustappear with an agreeable countenance, if not in smiles, even when thehead, or perhaps the heart, aches, and are expected to permit nothingill-tempered, disagreeable, or even unhappy to appear outwardly, butto keep all these concealed in their own bosoms to suffer as they may, lest they might otherwise lessen the cheerfulness of others?

"These are a few suggestions only among many we would hint to thestronger and more exciting sex to be reflected on for the improvementof their tastes and manners. In the mirror thus held up before them, they can not avoid observing the very different standards by which thebehavior of the two sexes is constantly regulated. If any reason canbe assigned why one should always be a lady, and the other hardly evera gentleman, we hope it will be done. "

VI. --WASHINGTON'S CODE OF MANNERS. 

Every action ought to be with some sign of respect to those present. Be no flatterer; neither play with any one who delights not to beplayed with. Read no paper or book in company. Come not near thepapers or books of another when he is writing. Let your countenance becheerful; but in serious matters be grave. Let your discourse withothers, on matters of business, be short. It is good manners to letothers speak first. When a man does all he can, do not blame him, though he succeeds not well. Take admonitions thankfully. Be not toohasty to receive lying reports to the injury of another. Let yourdress be modest, and consult your condition. _Play not the peacock bylooking vainly at yourself. _ It is better to be alone than in badcompany. Let your conversation be without malice or envy. Urge notyour friend to discover a secret. Break not a jest where none takepleasure in mirth. Gaze not on the blemishes of others. When anotherspeaks, be attentive. 

VII. --MARKED PASSAGES. 

On turning over the leaves of the various works on etiquette which wehave had occasion to consult in the preparation of this little manual, we have marked with our pencil a large number of passages which seemedto us to embody important facts or thoughts, with the hope of beingable to weave them into our work, each in its appropriate place. Someof them we have made use of according to our original intention; a fewothers not elsewhere used, we purpose to throw together here withoutany attempt at classification. 

1. _Our Social Uniform. _

The universal partiality of our countrymen for _black_, as the colorof dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners. Among the best dressed men on the Continent, as well as in England, black, through not confined to the clergy, is in much less general usethan here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown, and green, andfor undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics. 

2. _A Hint to the Ladies. _

Don't make your rooms gloomy. Furnish them for light and let them haveit. Daylight is very cheap, and candle or gas light you need not useoften. If your rooms are dark, all the effect of furniture, pictures, walls, and carpets is lost. Finally, if you have beautiful things, make them useful. The fashion of having a nice parlor, and thenshutting it up all but three or four days in the year, when you havecompany; spending your own life in a mean room, shabbily furnished, oran unhealthy basement, to save your things, is the meanest possibleeconomy. Go a little further--shut up your house, and live in apig-pen! The use of nice and beautiful things is to act upon yourspirit--to educate you and make you beautiful. 

3. _Another. _

Don't put your cards around the looking-glass, unless in your privateboudoir. If you wish to display them, keep them in a suitable basketor vase on the mantle or center-table. 

4. _An Obliging Disposition. _

Polite persons are necessarily obliging. A smile is always on theirlips, an earnestness in their countenance, when we ask a favor ofthem. They know that to render a service with a bad grace, is inreality not to render it at all. If they are obliged to refuse afavor, they do it with mildness and delicacy; they express suchfeeling regret that they still inspire us with gratitude; in short, their conduct appears so perfectly natural that it really seems thatthe opportunity which is offered them of obliging us, is obligingthemselves; and they refuse all our thanks, without affectation oreffort. 

5. _Securing a Home. _

Let me, as a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases ofsocial life, in our own country especially, enter my earnest protestagainst the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of_boarding_, in place of at once establishing for themselves thedistinctive and ennobling prerogatives of HOME. Language and timewould alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evilsinevitably growing out of this fashionable system. Take the advice ofan old man, who has tested theories by prolonged experience, and atonce establish your PENATES within four walls, and under a roof thatwill, at times, exclude all who are not properly denizens of yourhousehold, upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life. Do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you can notshrine your home deities upon pedestals of marble. _Cover their baseswith flowers_--God's free gift to all--and the plainest support willsuffice for them if it be but _firm_. 

6. _Taste vs. Fashion. _

A lady should never, on account of economy, wear either what she deemsan ugly or an ungraceful garment; such garments never put her at herease, and are neglected and cast aside long before they have done hertheir true service. We are careful only of those things which suit us, and which we believe adorn us, and the mere fact of believing that welook well, goes a great way toward making us do so. Fashion should besacrificed to taste, or, at best, followed at a distance; it does notdo to be _entirely out_, nor _completely in_, what is called"fashion, " many things being embraced under that term which arefrivolous, unmeaning, and sometimes meretricious. 

7. _Special Claims. _

There are persons to whom a lady or gentleman should be especiallypolite. All elderly persons, the unattractive, the poor, and thosewhose dependent positions may cause them to fear neglect. Thegentleman who offers his arm or gives his time to an old lady, or asksa very plain one to dance, or attends one who is poorly dressed, neverlooses in others' estimation or his own. 

8. _Propriety of Deportment. _

Propriety of deportment is the valuable result of a knowledge of one'sself, and of respect for the rights of others; it is a feeling of thesacrifices which are imposed on self-esteem by our social relations;it is, in short, a sacred requirement of harmony and affection. 

9. _False Pride. _

False pride and false dignity are very mean qualities. A truegentleman will do anything proper for him to do. He can soil his handsor use his muscles when there is occasion. The truest gentleman ismore likely to carry home a market-basket, or a parcel, or to wheel abarrow through Broadway, than many a conceited little snob of ashop-boy. 

10. _The Awkwardness of being "Dressed. "_

When dressed for company, strive to appear as easy and natural as ifyou were in undress. Nothing is more distressing to a sensitiveperson, or more ridiculous to one gifted with an _esprit moquer_ [adisposition to "make fun"], than to see a lady laboring under theconsciousness of a fine gown; or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward, and ungainly in a brand-new coat. 

FOOTNOTE:

[R] _Life Illustrated. _

XII. 

MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD. 

 The pages of the "Noble Oracle" are replete with sound advice, which all may receive with profit. Genuine politeness is the same always and everywhere. --_Madame Bienceance. _

1. _Cheerfulness and Good Humor. _

It is a wonderful thing that so many persons, putting in claims togood breeding, should think of carrying their spleen into company, andentertaining those with whom they converse with a history of theirpains, head-aches, and ill-treatment. This is, of all others, themeanest help to social happiness; and a man must have a very meanopinion of himself, who, on having detailed his grievances, isaccosted by asking the news. Mutual good-humor is a dress in which weought to appear, whenever we meet; and we ought to make no mention ofourselves, unless it be in matters wherein our friends ought torejoice. There is no real life but cheerful life; thereforevaletudinarians should be sworn before they enter into company not tosay a word of themselves until the meeting breaks up. 

2. _The Art of Pleasing. _

The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a verydifficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and yourown good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know ofpleasing. Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probablythe same things in you will please others. If you are pleased withthe complaisance and attention of others to you, depend upon it thesame complaisance and attention, on your part, will equally pleasethem. Take the tone of the company you are in, and do not pretend togive it; be serious or gay, as you find the present humor of thecompany. This is an attention due from every individual to themajority. 

3. _Adaptation of Manners. _

Ceremony resembles that base coin which circulates through a countryby the royal mandate. It serves every purpose of real money at home, but is entirely useless if carried abroad. A person who should attemptto circulate his native trash in another country would be thoughteither ridiculous or culpable. He is truly well-bred who knows when tovalue and when to despise those national peculiarities which areregarded by some with so much observance. A traveler of taste at onceperceives that the wise are polite all the world over, but that foolsare polite only at home. 

4. _Bad Habits. _

Keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits, such as thrusting onyour tongue, continually snapping your fingers, rubbing your hands, sighing aloud, gaping with a noise like a country fellow that has beensleeping in a hay-loft, or indeed with any noise; and many others thatI have noticed before. These are imitations of the manners of the mob, and are degrading to a gentleman. It is rude and vulgar to lean yourhead back and destroy the appearance of fine papered walls. 

5. _Do what You are About. _

_Hoc age_ was a maxim among the Romans, which means, "Do what you areabout, and do that only. " A little mind is hurried by twenty thingsat once; but a man of sense does but one thing at a time, and resolvesto excel in it; for whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doingwell. Therefore, remember to give yourself up entirely to the thingyou are doing, be it what it may, whether your book or your play; forif you have a right ambition, you will desire to excel all boys ofyour age, at cricket, at trap-ball, as well as in learning. 

6. _People who never Learn. _

There have been people who have frequented the first companies alltheir lifetime, and yet have never divested themselves of theirnatural stiffness and awkwardness; but have continued as vulgar as ifthey were never out of a servants' hall. This has been owing tocarelessness, and a want of attention to the manners and behavior ofothers. 

7. _Conformity to Local Manners. _

Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, isessentially the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it iscalled, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is differentin almost every country, and merely local; and every man of senseimitates and conforms to that local good-breeding or the place whichhe is at. 

8. _How to Confer Favors. _

The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and bunglingly as tooffend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost tooblige. Endeavor to acquire this great secret. It exists, it is to befound, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of thealchymists would be, if it were, as it is not, to be found. 

9. _Fitness. _

One of the most important points of life is decency, which means doingwhat is proper, and where it is proper; for many things are proper atone time, and in one place, that are extremely improper in another. Read men, therefore, yourself, not in books, but in nature. Adopt nosystems, but study them yourself. 

10. _How to Refuse. _

A polite manner of refusing to comply with the solicitations of acompany is also very necessary to be learned; for a young man whoseems to have no will of his own, but does everything that is asked ofhim, may be a very good-natured, but he is a very silly, fellow. 

11. _Civility to Women. _

Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that noprovocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to everywoman; and the greatest man in the world would be justly reckoned abrute, if he were not civil to the meanest woman. 

12. _Spirit. _

Spirit is now a very fashionable word. To act with spirit, to speakwith spirit, means only to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. Anable man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he isneither hot nor timid. 

XIII. 

ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES. 

 It is well to combine amusement with instruction, whether you write for young or old. --_Anonymous. _

I. --ELDER BLUNT AND SISTER SCRUB. 

The house of the excellent Squire Scrub was the itinerant's home; anda right sweet, pleasant home it would have been but for a certainunfortunate weakness of the every other way _excellent_ Sister Scrub. The weakness I allude to was, or at least it was suspected to be, _thelove of praise_. Now the good sister was really worthy of high praise, and she often received it; but she had a way of disparaging herselfand her performances which some people thought was intended to invitepraise. No housewife kept her floors looking so clean and her walls sowell whitewashed as she. Every board was scrubbed and scoured tillfurther scrubbing and scouring would have been labor wasted. No onecould look on her white ash floor and not admire the polish herindustry gave it. The "Squire" was a good provider, and Sister Scrubwas an excellent cook; and so their table groaned under a burden ofgood things on all occasions when good cheer was demanded. And yet youcould never enter the house and sit half an hour without beingreminded that "Husband held Court yesterday, and she couldn't keep thehouse decent. " If you sat down to eat with them, she was sorry she"hadn't anything fit to eat. " She had been scrubbing, or washing, orironing, or she had been half sick, and she hadn't got such and suchthings that she ought to have. Nor did it matter how bountiful or howwell prepared the repast really was, there was always _something_deficient, the want of which furnished a text for a disparagingdiscourse on the occasion. I remember once that we sat down to a tablethat a king might have been happy to enjoy. There was the lightsnow-white bread; there were the potatoes reeking in butter; therewere chickens swimming in gravy; there were the onions and theturnips, and I was sure Sister Scrub had gratified her ambition foronce. We sat down, and a blessing was asked; instantly the good sisterbegan; she was afraid her coffee was too much burned, or that thewater had been smoked, or that she hadn't roasted the chicken enough. There ought to have been some salad, and it was too bad that there wasnothing nice to offer us. 

We, of course, endured those unjustifiable apologies as well as thecould, simply remarking that everything was really nice, and provingby our acts that the repast was tempting to our appetites. 

I will now introduce another actor to the reader--Elder Blunt, thecircuit preacher. Elder Blunt was a good man. His religion was of themost genuine, experimental kind. He was a _very_ plain man. He, likeMr. Wesley, would no more dare to preach a _fine_ sermon than wear afine coat. He was celebrated for his common-sense way of exhibitingthe principles of religion. He _would_ speak just what he thought, andas he felt. He somehow got the name of being an eccentric preacher, asevery man, I believe, does who _never_ prevaricates, and always actsand speaks as he thinks. Somehow or other, Elder Blunt had heard ofSister Scrub, and that infirmity of hers, and he resolved to cureher. On his first round he stopped at "Squire Scrub's, " as all otheritinerants had done before him. John, the young man, took the elder'shorse and put him in the stable, and the preacher entered the house. He was shown into the best room, and soon felt very much at home. Heexpected to hear something in due time disparaging the domesticarrangements, but he heard it sooner than he expected. This time, ifSister Scrub could be credited, her house was all upside down; itwasn't fit to stay in, and she was sadly mortified to be caught insuch a plight. The elder looked all around the room, as if to observethe terrible disorder, but he said not a word. By-and-by the dinnerwas ready, and the elder sat down with the family to a well spreadtable. Here, again, Sister Scrub found everything faulty; the coffeewasn't fit to drink, and she hadn't anything fit to eat. The elderlifted his dark eye to her face; for a moment he seemed to penetrateher very soul with his austere gaze; then slowly rising from thetable, he said, "Brother Scrub, I want my horse immediately; I mustleave!"

"Why, Brother Blunt, what is the matter?"

"Matter? Why, sir, your house isn't fit to stay in, and you haven'tanything fit to eat or drink, and I won't stay. "

Both the "Squire" and his lady were confounded. This was a piece ofeccentricity entirely unlooked for. They were stupefied. But the elderwas gone. He wouldn't stay in a house not fit to stay in, and wherethere wasn't anything fit to eat and drink. 

Poor Sister Scrub! She wept like a child at her folly. She "knew itwould be all over town, " she said, "and everybody would be laughing ather. " And then, how should she meet the blunt, honest elder again?"She hadn't meant anything by what she had said. " Ah! she neverthought how wicked it was to say _so much_ that didn't mean anything. 

The upshot of the whole matter was, that Sister Scrub "saw herself asothers saw her. " She ceased making apologies, and became a wiser andbetter Christian. Elder Blunt always puts up there, always findseverything as it should be, and, with all his eccentricities, isthought by the family the most agreeable, as he is acknowledged byeverybody to be the most consistent, of men. --_Rev. J. V. Watson. _

II. --THE PRESENCE. 

Mr. Johnson, an English traveler, relates, in his notes on NorthAmerica, the following story:

"At Boston, " he says, "I was told of a gentleman in the neighborhoodwho, having a farm servant, found him very satisfactory in everyrespect, except that he invariably came into his employer's room withhis hat on. 

"'John, ' said he to the man one day, 'you always keep your hat on whenyou come into the room. '

"'Well, sir, ' said John, 'and haven't I a right to?'

"'Yes, ' was his employer's reply, 'I suppose you have. '

"'Well, ' said John, 'if I have a right to, why shouldn't I?'

"This was a poser from one man to another, where all have equalrights. So, after a moment's reflection the gentleman asked:

"'Now, John, what will you take, how much more wages will you ask, totake off your hat whenever you come in?'

"'Well, that requires consideration, I guess, ' said the man. 

"'Take the thing into consideration, then, ' rejoined the employer, 'and let me know to-morrow morning. '

"The morrow comes, and John appears. 

"'Well, John, have you considered what additional wages you are tohave for taking your hat off?'

"'Well, sir, I guess it's worth a dollar a month. '

"'It's settled, then, John; you shall have another dollar a month. '

"So the gentleman retained a good man, while John's hat was always inhis hand when he entered the house. "

This story, to one who knows New England, is not altogetherincredible. Toward the democratization of this country, yet mostincomplete, it will perhaps be one day conceded that the South hascontributed ideas, and New England sentiment; while the Great Westwill have made a partial application of both to the conduct of life. The Yankees are the kindest and the acutest of our people, and themost ungraceful. Nowhere in the world is there so much good feeling, combined with so much rudeness of manner, as in New England. TheSouth, colonized by Cavaliers, retains much of the Cavalierimprovidence and careless elegance of manner; and Southerners, likethe soil they till, are generous. But the Yankees, descended fromaustere and Puritanic farmers, and accustomed to wring theirsubsistence from an unwilling soil, possess the sterling virtues ofhuman nature along with a stiff-jointed awkwardness of manner, and asharp angularity of thought, which renders them unpleasing even tothose who respect them most. A Yankee seldom ceases to be provincial. 

But John is waiting, hat in hand, to hear what we have to sayrespecting his case. 

We say that John was wrong in not taking off his hat voluntarily, butthat the feeling which prevented his doing so was right. He was rightin feeling that the accidental circumstance of his being a hired mangave his employer no claim to any special mark of respect from him;and, as he considered that the removal of his hat would have been aspecial mark of respect, and thus an acknowledgment of socialinferiority, he declined to make that acknowledgment. But John wasmistaken. The act referred to would not have borne such aninterpretation. John ought to have felt that on coming into thepresence of a man, a fellow-citizen and co-sovereign, and particularlyon entering his abode, one of the innumerable royal residences of thecountry, some visible sign of respect, some kind of deferentialsalutation, is _due_ from the person entering. John should have risensuperior to the mere accident of his position, and remembered onlythat he and his employer were men and equals. The positions of the twomen might be reversed in a day; their equality as men and citizens, nothing but crime could affect. --_James Parton. _

III. --A LEARNED MAN AT TABLE. 

Some of the many errors which are liable to be committed throughignorance of usage, are pleasantly pointed out in the following story, which is related by a French writer:

The Abbé Cosson, professor in the _Collége Mazarin_, thoroughlyaccomplished in the art of teaching, saturated with Greek, Latin, andliterature, considered himself a perfect well of science: he had noconception that a man who knew all Persius and Horace by heart couldpossibly commit an error--above all, an error at table. But it was notlong before he discovered his mistake. One day, after dining with theAbbé de Radonvilliers at Versailles, in company with several courtiersand marshals of France; he was boasting of the rare acquaintance withetiquette and custom which he had exhibited at dinner. The AbbéDelille, who heard this eulogy upon his own conduct, interrupted hisharangue by offering to wager that he had committed at least a hundredimproprieties at the table. "How is it possible?" exclaimed Cosson. "Idid exactly like the rest of the company. "

"What absurdity!" said the other. "You did a thousand things which noone else did. First, when you sat down at the table, what did you dowith your napkin?" "My napkin! why, just what everybody else did withtheirs. I unfolded it entirely, and fastened it to my button-hole. ""Well, my dear friend, " said Delille, "you were the only one that did_that_, at all events. No one hangs up his napkin in that style; theyare contented with placing it on their knees. And what did you do whenyou took soup?" "Like the others, I believe. I took any spoon in onehand and my fork in the other--" "Your fork! Who ever ate soup with afork? But to proceed: after your soup, what did you eat?" "A freshegg. " "And what did you do with the shell?" "Handed it to the servantwho stood behind my chair. " "Without breaking it, of course?" "Well, my dear Abbé, nobody ever eats an egg without breaking the shell. ""And after your egg--?" "I asked the Abbé Radonvilliers to send me apiece of the hen near him. " "Bless my soul! a piece of the _hen_! Younever speak of hens excepting in the barn-yard. You should have askedfor fowl, or chicken. But you say nothing of your mode of drinking. ""Like all the rest, I asked for _claret_ and _champagne_. " "Let meinform you, then, that persons always ask for _claret wine_ and_champagne wine_. But tell me, how did you eat your bread?" "Surely Idid that properly. I cut it with my knife in the most regular mannerpossible. " "Bread should always be broken, not cut. But the coffee, how did you manage it?" "It was rather too hot, and I poured a littleof it into my saucer. " "Well, you committed here the greatest fault ofall. You should never pour your coffee into the saucer, but alwaysdrink it from the cup. " The poor Abbé was confounded. He felt thatthough one might be master of the seven sciences, yet that there wasanother species of knowledge which, if less dignified, was equallyimportant. 

This occurred many years ago, but there is not one of the observancesneglected by the Abbé Cosson which is not enforced with equalrigidness in the present day. 

IV. --ENGLISH WOMEN IN HIGH LIFE. 

Lord Hardwicke's family consists of his countess, his eldest son(about eighteen or twenty, Lord Royston by courtesy), three of thefinest-looking daughters you ever saw, and several younger sons. Thedaughters--Lady Elizabeth, Lady Mary, and Lady Agnita--aresurpassingly beautiful; such development--such rosy cheeks, laughingeyes, and unaffected manners--you rarely see combined. They take agreat deal of out-door exercise, and came aboard the Merrimac, in aheavy rain, with Irish shoes thicker soled than you or I ever wore, and cloaks and dresses almost impervious to wet. They steer theirfather's yacht, walk the Lord knows how many miles, and don't care acent about rain, besides doing a host of other things that would shockour ladies to death; and yet in the parlor are the most elegantlooking women, in their satin shoes and diamonds, I ever saw.... Afterdinner the ladies play and sing for us, and the other night they gotup a game of blind-man's-buff; in which the ladies said we had theadvantage, inasmuch as their "petticoats rustled so that they wereeasily caught. " They call things by their names here. In the course ofthe game, Lord Hardwicke himself was blindfolded, and, trying to catchsome one, fell over his daughter's lap on the floor, when two or threeof the girls caught him by the legs and dragged his lordship--roaringwith laughter, as we all were--on his back into the middle of thefloor. Yet they are perfectly respectful, but appear on a perfectequality with each other. --_Letter from an Officer of the "Merrimac. "_

V. --"VIL YOU SAY SO, IF YOU PLEASE?"

"Speaking of _not speaking_, " said I, when the general amusement hadabated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessedin the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled towait several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered abustling, sprightly-looking little personage, who, after friskingabout the room, apparently upon a tom of inspection, finally settledherself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--theonly one in the room--and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, soundasleep. It was not long, however, before a noise of some one enteringaroused her, and a tall, gaunt, old Yankee woman, hung around withcountless bags, bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of varioussizes and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After slowlyrelieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded herprogress in life, she turned to a young man who accompanied her, andsaid, in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken, at this day, for a railroad whistle--

"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you gofor them toothache drops; I am a'most crazy with pain!' laying a handupon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here, ' she called out, asthe door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled atthe same time, ' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknowndepths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing tolight a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels ofa modern belle. 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but Idon't know where I put it, my head is so stirred up. '

"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairlyaroused, and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger, her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politestof nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group). With a prolonged stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in thevacated seat, making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civilityshe had received. Presently she began to groan, rocking herselffuriously at the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long rowof wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame, ' said she, 'that you suffare ver' much--vat can I do for you?' The representativeof Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the responseshe made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiouslythan ever might be construed into a reply. 

"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class soanomalous a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated. 

"Before I was summoned away, the toothache drops and the snufftogether (both administered in large doses) seemed to have graduallyproduced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters. 

"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action. 

"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, withconsiderable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer. 

"'And you feel dis _fauteuil_ really very _com-for-ta-ble_?' pursuedthe little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was justdiscernible. 

"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy ofimpatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually _screamed_out:

"'_Bien_, madame, _vil you say so_, if you please?'

"_Henry Lunettes. _"

 * * * * *

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HOW TO WRITE:

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HOW TO RAISE FRUITS. --A Handbook of Fruit Culture. Being a Guide tothe Proper Cultivation and Management of Fruit Trees, and of Grapesand Small Fruits, with condensed descriptions of many of the best andmost popular varieties, with upwards of 100 engravings. By THOMASGREGG. $1. 00

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 By mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address

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A NEW WORK. 

_FRESH, SEASONABLE, ADVANCED. _

BRAIN AND MIND;

OR

MENTAL SCIENCE CONSIDERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PRINCIPLES OFPHRENOLOGY, AND IN RELATION TO MODERN PHYSIOLOGY

 By HENRY S. DRAYTON, A. M. , and JAMES McNEILL. 

 Illustrated with over One Hundred Portraits and Diagrams. 12mo, extra cloth Price, $1. 60. 

This contribution to the science of mind has been made in response tothe demand of the time for a work embodying the grand principles ofPhrenology, as they are understood and applied to-day by the advancedexponents of mental philosophy. The authors state in their Preface:"In preparing this volume it has been the aim to meet an existingwant, viz. That of a treatise which not only gives the reader acomplete view of the system of mental science known as Phrenology, butalso exhibits its relation to anatomy and physiology as those sciencesare represented to-day by standard authority. "

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In style and treatment it is adapted to the general reader, andabounds with valuable instruction expressed in clear, practical terms. 

It is printed on fine paper, and substantially bound in cloth, andcontains 325 pages. 12mo. Price $1. 50, by mail post-paid. 

 _Address_ FOWLER & WELLS CO. , 753 Broadway, N. Y. 

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_"EVERY MAN HIS OWN PAINTER. "_

How to Paint. --A complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the useof Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, Farmers, and a Guide to theProfessional Painter. Containing a plain Common-sense statement of theMethods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plainand Fancy Painting of every Description, including Gilding, Bronzing, Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining, Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, withFormulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Pigmentsused; their Average Cost, Tools required, etc. By F. B. GARDNER, author of the _Carriage Painter's Manual_. 127 pp. Cloth, $1. 00. 

This is just the work needed by every person who has anything topaint, as will be seen from the following from the Table of Contents. It is very complete, and will make "Every Man his Own Painter. "

 CHAPTER I. --PAINTING--Tools used. 

 CHAPTER II. --BRUSHES. 

 CHAPTER III. --DRY COLORS--White Lead; Fine White; Lamp Black; Drop Black; Ivory Black; Prussian Blue; Ultramarine Green; Yellow; Vermilion; Brown; Lake; Carmine; Rose Pink; Whiting; Glue; Pumice Stone; Asphaltum. 

 CHAPTER IV. --LIQUIDS--Spirits of Turpentine; Oils; Varnishes; Furniture Varnish; Average Prices of Varnish; Shellac Varnish; Japan Gold Size; Brown Japan Size; Fat Oil Size; Quick Size; Asphaltum Size; Honey Size; Size for Glass. 

 CHAPTER V. --COLORS IN OIL--Tube Colors; Compound Colors. 

 CHAPTER VI. --Mixing Paint; White Paint; White for Inside Work; China Glass; Oil Color for Outside Work; Dead, or Flat Color; Colors Ground in Oil. PUTTY--Common Window Putty; Carriage Painters' Putty; Cementing Putty; Furniture Putty; Hardwood Putty; Putty for Plaster Work. 

 CHAPTER VII. --MILK PAINT--Distemper Painting; Kalsomine; Preparing Kalsomine; Paint for Out-Buildings; Paint for Iron Railing; White wash; Size for Walls; Paste for Paper hanging; Hanging Paper. 

 CHAPTER VIII. --Graining; Oak in Distemper; Oak in Oil; Maple; Mahogany; Rosewood; Black Walnut; Staining; Granite; Brown Stone; Portland Stone; Smalting; Flockings; Marbling. 

 CHAPTER IX. --GILDING--Gold Leaf; Silver Leaf; Dutch Metal; Gilding on Glass; Bronzing; Stenciling; Transferring; Decalcomanie; Transparent Painting; Pearl Inlaying; Making a Rustic Picture; Painting Flower Stand; Polish for Mahogany; Varnishing Furniture; Waxing Furniture; Cleaning Paint; Paint for Farming Tools; Paint for Machinery; Paint for Household Goods; Paint for Iron; To Imitate Ground Glass; Pumicing Ornaments; Painting to Imitate Damask; To Paint a Farm Wagon; To Re-Varnish a Carriage; To Duplicate Plaster Casts; "Putty Work;" Permanent Wood Filling for House Work. 

It is neatly Printed, with illustrations showing everything that canbe illustrated in connection with the subject. Published in uniformstyle with the Carriage Painter's Manual, at the same price. $1. 00, bymail, past-paid, to any address by B. R. WELLS & CO. , Publishers, 737Broadway, N. Y. 

THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT, Containing the Original Greek Text of THE NEW TESTAMENT with an interlineary word-for-word English Translation; a new Emphatic Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on the Readings of Eminent Critics, and on the various Readings of the Vatican Manuscript (No 1, 209 in the Vatican Library); together with illustrative and Explanatory Foot Notes, and a copious Selection of References; to the whole of which is added a valuable Alphabetical Index. 

By BENJAMIN WILSON. 

One Vol. , 12mo, 884 pp. Price, extra cloth, $4; Lib. Binding, $5. 

We have here a Greek Text acknowledged to be one of the best, whichGreek scholars will find of importance, while the unlearned have analmost equal chance with those who are acquainted with the original, by having an interlinear, literal, word-for-word English translation. On the right hand of each page there is a column containing a specialrendering of the translation, including the labors of many talentedcritics and translators, and in this column the emphatic signs arenoted by which the Greek words of emphasis are designated, which thecommon and are new version of the New Testament fail to give. Theadopting of the ensigns of emphasis give a certainty and intensity tothe passages where they occur which can not be had without them. Inaddition to this there are numerous footnotes and references, makingit on the whole one of the most valuable aids to Bible study yetpublished. 

OPINIONS OF THE CLERGY. 

The following extracts from a letters received by the publishers willgo far to show in what the light the "Emphatic Diaglott" is regardedby the clergy:

 From J. R. GRAVES, LL. D. , _Editor of Tenn. Baptist_. --"There are many of our ministers who have mastered the usual amount of Greek required to complete their course at school but have found little time since entering upon their ministerial labors to "keep it up, " and rust has so gathered upon their Greek that it has become a labor to work it out without Grammar and Lexicon. To all such and even to those who have accomplished but little in the language, this INTERLINEARY translation will prove an invaluable help. The CRITICAL FOOT-NOTES and Dictionary of Terms at the close are fully worth the price of the work itself. I can cordially commend it to every minister and Bible student as a rigidly faithful translation of the New Testament, and for several reasons the most valuable one that has yet been made. "

 From THOMAS ARMITAGE, D. D. , _Pastor of the Fifth Ave. Baptist Church_. --"GENTLEMEN: I have examined with much care and great interest the specimen sheets sent me of 'the Emphatic Diaglott. ' ... I believe that the book furnishes evidences of the purposed faithfulness, more than usual scholarship, and remarkable literary industry. It can not fail to be an important help to those who wish to become better acquainted with the revealed will of God. For these reasons I wish the enterprise of publishing the work a great success. "

 From the Rev. JAMES L. HODGE, _Pastor of the First Mariners' Baptist Church, N. Y. _--"I have examined these sheets which you design to be a specimen of the work, and have to confess myself much pleased with the arrangement and ability of Mr. Wilson.... I can most cordially thank Mr. Wilson for his noble work, and you, gentlemen, for your Christian enterprise in bringing the work before the public. I believe the work will do good, and aid the better understanding of the New Testament. "

 From Prof. H. MATTISON, _Pastor of Trinity Meth. Church, Jersey City, N. J. _--... "The plan of the work is admirable, and the presence of the Greek text and interlinear version gives every scholar a fair chance to test the version for himself, verse by verse and word for word. I can not but believe that the work will be valuable acquisition to the Biblical literature of the country. "

 From A. A. LIVERMORE, D. D. , _President of the Theological Sem. , Meadville, Pa. _--... "I welcome all efforts intelligently made to popularize the results of criticism, and wish that this little volume might be possessed by every clergyman and student of the Scriptures in the country. "

 From Rev. C. LAREW, _Pastor of the Halsey St. Meth. Church, Newark, N. J. _--"'The Diaglott' has given me great pleasure. The arrangement is a most excellent one, and the new version can not fail to be of gratification and profit, especially to those unacquainted with the original Greek. The translator has certainly shown great genius in seizing upon the thought of the original and a happy tact on presenting it. "

 From Rev. G. F. WARREN, _Pastor of the Worthen St. Church, Lowell, Mass. _--... "Am highly gratified with the thorough manner in which he (the author) has done his work. If I mistake not this translation will receive a cordial welcome from the Christian public. It is just what every Christian needs. I congratulate myself and others that such a valuable auxiliary to the study of the Word of God is placed in our hands. "

We give sample pages of the work that every one may form a correctidea of the plan of publication. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receiptof price. 

Address all orders to FOWLER & WELLS CO. Publishers, 753 BROADWAY, NEWYORK. 

GOOD HEALTH BOOKS. 

HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD, Or, Hygienic Cookery. By Susanna W. Dodds, M. D. One large 12mo volume, 600 pages, extra cloth or oil-cloth binding, price $2. 00. 

 Undoubtedly the very best work on the preparation of food in a healthful manner ever published, and one that should be in the hands of all who would furnish their tables with food that is wholesome and at the same time palatable, and will contribute much toward Health in the Household. 

THE NATURAL CURE

 Of Consumption, Constipation, Bright's Disease, Neuralgia, Rheumatism, "Colds" (Fevers), Etc. How Sickness Originates and How to Prevent it. A Health Manual for the People. By C. E. Page. 1 vol. 12mo. 278 pp. , ex. Cloth, $1. 00. 

 A new work with new ideas, both radical and reasonable, appealing to the common-sense of the reader. This is not a new work with old thoughts simply restated, but the most original Health Manual published in many years. It is written in the author's clear, attractive manner, and should be in the hands of all who would either retain or regain their health, and keep from the hands of the doctors. 

HOW TO FEED THE BABY, To Make Her Healthy and Happy. With Health Hints. By C. E. Page, M. D. Fourth Edition, Revised and Enlarged. 12mo, paper, 50 cents; extra cloth, 75 cts. 

 Dr. Page has devoted much attention to the subject, both in this country and in Europe, noting the condition of children, and then making careful inquiries as to the feeding, care, etc. , and this work is a special record of experience with his own child. In addition to answering the question _what_ to feed the baby, this volume tells _how_ to feed the baby, which is of equal importance. There are many who are now following the author's teaching with good results. 

HOW TO BE WELL;

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DIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA. 

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THE WORKS OF NELSON SIZER. 

A Great Book for Young People

"CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to Do and Why, " describing Seventy-fiveTrades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required foreach; with Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers andWorkers By NELSON SIZER, Associate Editor of the "PHRENOLOGICALJOURNAL, " Vice President of, and Teacher in, the "American Instituteof Phrenology, " etc. 12mo, extra cloth. 508 pp. Price, $1. 75. 

 This work fills a place attempted by no other. Whoever has to earn a living by labor of head or hand, can not afford to do without it. 

NOTICES OF THE PRESS. 

 "'CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to do and Why' is a remarkable book. The author has attained a deserved eminence as a delineator of character. We have given it a careful reading and feel warranted in saying that it is a book calculated to do a vast deal of good. "--_Boston Commonwealth. _

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A New Book for Parents and Teachers. 

"HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT, " or, Phrenology in the School-room and the Family. 

 With many Illustrations. 12mo, extra cloth, 351 pages. Price, $1. 50. 

 One of the greatest difficulties in the training of children arises from not understanding their temperament and disposition. This work points out clearly the constitutious differences, and how to make the most of each. 

NOTICES OF THE PRESS. 

 "The purpose of this work is to aid parents and teachers to understand the talents, dispositions, and temperaments of those under their guidance. This opens a new field to the consideration of the teacher. The text is attractive and a valuable contribution to educational literature. It should be in the library of every parent and teacher. "--_New England Journal of Education. _

 "This is an entirely new feature in a book intended for the use of teachers, and must prove of great advantage to them. The text is written in a manner which must attract every reader. "--_The Methodist. _

 "No teacher should neglect to read this well-written contribution to the cause of education. "--_Christian Instructor. _

 "It abounds in valuable suggestions and counsels derived from many years experience, which can not fail to be of service to all who are engaged in the business of education. The subject is treated in a plain, familiar manner, and adapted to reading in the family as well as in the study of the teacher. "--_New York Tribune. _

 "There is a great deal of good sense in the work and all teachers will be glad to welcome it. "--_The Commonwealth_, Boston. 

A NEW BOOK FOR EVERYBODY!

FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY: Embracing Recollections of History, Anecdote, and Experience. 12mo, extra cloth, 413 pages. Price, $1. 50. 

 In this work we have a most interesting record of the author's recollections and experiences during more than forty years as a Practical Phrenologist. The volume is filled with history, anecdotes, and incidents, pathetic, witty, droll, and startling. Every page sparkles with reality, and is packed with facts too good to be lost. This book will be warmly welcomed by every reader, from the boy of twelve to the sage of eighty years. 

THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and FREE LOVEEXPOSED. 12mo. Paper, 25 cents. 

 This work contains a sharp analysis of the social nature, in some respects quite original. Sent by mail, post-paid, to any address. Agents wanted. Address

 FOWLER & WELLS CO. , Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York. 

THE HUMAN VOICE. 

ITS ANATOMY, PHYSIOLOGY, PATHOLOGY, THERAPEUTICS, AND TRAINING, WITH RULESOF ORDER FOR LYCEUMS. 

 BY R. T. TRALL, M. D. 

 Paper, 50 Cents; Cloth, 75 Cents. 

 The work comprises, in a clear, concise form, directions for strengthening and improving the voice, overcoming constitutional difficulties, and repairing the abnormal conditions in the organs of articulation as far as they can be remedied. The work contains many illustrations, with full directions for vocal culture and how gestures may become graceful. It contains, for practice, some of the most popular selections, including the best from Dickens, Henry Clay, Pope, and Bancroft, with Poe's "Raven" and the "Bells;" also, "Sheridan's Ride. " The chapter devoted to rules of order for public meetings constitutes a CHAIRMAN'S GUIDE, and with a list of debatable subjects, would be considered worth the price of the book by many young men and members of debating societies. Let every young man--and woman, too--prepare themselves for speaking in public when occasion may demand it. 

NOTICES. 

 All who desire to read and speak well, will find this book an excellent guide. --_New England Journal of Education. _

 Any one who desires to improve his voice, should get a copy of this new work. It is a safe guide for the use of all who aim to become good readers and speakers. --_New York Weekly. _

 The work aims at a scientific and thorough treatment of the subject. --_Daily Graphic. _

 This book supplies the greatest want of young persons entering on their oratorical career. --_Rural New Yorker. _

 An excellent guide for those desiring to become good readers or public speakers, for strengthening and improving the voice. --_Publishers' Weekly. _

 A very useful treatise, practical in treatment, and popular in form. --_Christian Intelligencer. _

 It will be an aid to teachers. --_National Teachers' Monthly. _

 It will be found a plain and intelligible guide in theory and practice, to any who desire to improve or excel, and must rely mainly on self-education. --_Christian Instructor, and West. United Pres. _

 Agents wanted to sell this in High Schools, Colleges, etc. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address

 FOWLER & WELLS CO. , Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York. 

A Choice of Premiums. 

The Phrenological Chart. 

 A handsome symbolical Head, made from new and special drawings designed for the purpose. The pictorial illustrations show the location of each of the phrenological organs and their natural language. The Head is about twelve ins. Wide, handsomely lithographed in colors and on heavy plate paper 19 × 24 ins. , properly mounted, with rings for hanging or may be framed, and will be very attractive wherever it is seen. Price: $1. 00. Is given to the new subscribers, or the Bust Premium. 

 [Illustration]

The Phrenological Bust. 

 This Bust is made of Plaster of Paris, and so lettered as to show the exact location of each of the Phrenological Organs. The head is nearly life-size, and very ornamental, deserving a place on the centre-table or mantel, in parlor, office or study. This, with the illustrated key which accompanies each Bust, should be in the hands of all who would know "HOW TO READ CHARACTER. " Price, $1. 00, or given as a Premium to each new subscriber to the JOURNAL or we will send the Chart Premium. 

THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL

Is widely known in America and Europe, having been before the readingworld fifty years, and occupying a place in literature exclusively itsown, viz. , the study of HUMAN NATURE in all its phases, includingPhrenology, Physiognomy, Ethnology, Physiology, etc. , together withthe "SCIENCE OF HEALTH, " and no expense will be spared to make it thebest publication for general circulation, tending always to make menbetter physically, mentally, and morally. Parents and teachers shouldread the JOURNAL, that they may better know how to govern and traintheir children. Young people should read the JOURNAL, that they maymake the most of themselves. It has long met with the hearty approvalof the press and the people. 

 _N. Y. Times_ says: "THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL proves that the increasing years of a periodical is no reason for its lessening its enterprise or for diminishing its abundance of interesting matter. If all magazines increased in merit as steadily as THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL, they would deserve in time to show equal evidences of popularity. "

 _Christian Union_ says: "It is well known as a popular storehouse for useful thought. It teaches men to know themselves and constantly presents matters of the highest interest to intelligent readers, and has the advantage of having always been not only up with the times, but a _little in advance_. Its popularity shows the result of enterprise and brains. "

TERMS. --The JOURNAL is published monthly at $2. 40 a year, or 20 centsa Number. To each new subscriber is given either the BUST or CHARTPremium described above. When the Premiums are sent, 13 cents extramust be received with each subscription to pay postage on the JOURNALand the expense of boxing and packing the Bust, which will be sent byexpress, or No. 2, a smaller size, or the Chart Premium, will be sentby mail, post-paid. 

Send amount to P. O. Orders, P. N. , Drafts on New York, or inRegistered Letters. Postage-stamps will be received. AGENTS WANTED. Send 10 cents for specimen Numbers, Premium List, Posters, etc. Address

FOWLER & WELLS CO. , Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York. 

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HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM

A Complete Manual of Phrenology and Physiognomy for the People. 

 By PROF. NELSON SIZER, and H. S. DRAYTON, M. D. 

 Fully illustrated. Octavo, extra cloth, $1. 00; paper edition, 40 cents. 

All claim to know something of _How to READ Character_, but very fewunderstand all the _Signs of Character_ as shown in the _Head andFace_. The subject is one of great importance, and in this work theauthors, Prof. Nelson Sizer, the phrenological examiner at the roomsof Fowler & Wells Co. , and Dr. H. S. Drayton, the editor of the_Phrenological Journal_, have considered it from a practicalstandpoint, and the subject is so simplified as to be of greatinterest and easily understood. 

The demand for standard publications of low price has increasedgreatly with the tendency of many bookmakers to meet it. Populareditions of the poets, historians, scientists have fallen in line withthe hundreds and thousands of cheap editions of the better classes ofnovels; and now, in response to the often-expressed want of thestudious and curious, we have this voluminous yet very low-pricedtreatise on "Heads and Faces" from the point of view of Phrenology, Physiognomy, and Physiology. Although so low-priced, as we have notedabove, it is no flimsy, patched-up volume, but a careful, honest work, replete with instruction, fresh in thought, suggestive and inspiring. There are nearly two hundred illustrations, exhibiting a great varietyof faces, human and animal, and many other interesting features of themuch-sided subject that is considered. Taken at length it is one ofthe most complete books on face-study that has been issued by itspublishers, and is a book that must create a demand wherever it isseen. The style in which it has been produced, the excellent paper, good presswork, numerous illustrations, and elegant, engaging cover, make it a phenomenon even in this cheap book day. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of price, 40 cts. AGENTS WANTED. 

Address, FOWLER & WELLS CO. , Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York. 

A NEW BOOK. 

HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD; OR, HYGIENIC COOKERY. 

 By SUSANNA W. DODDS, M. D. 

 One large 12mo vol. , 600 pp. , extra cloth or oil-cloth. Price. $2. 00. 

The author of this work is specially qualified for her task, as she isboth a physician and a practical housekeeper. It is unquestionably thebest work written on the healthful preparation of food, and should bein the hands of every housekeeper who wishes to prepare foodhealthfully and palatably. The best way and the reason why are given. It is complete in every department. To show something of what isthought of this work we copy a few brief extracts from the many. 

NOTICES OF THE PRESS. 

 "This work contains a great deal of excellent advice about wholesome food and gives directions for preparing many dishes in a way that will make luxuries for the palate out of many simple productions of Nature which are now lost by a vicious cookery. "--_Home Journal. _

 "Another book on cookery, and one that appears to be fully the equal in all respects and superior to many of its predecessors. Simplicity is sought to be blended with science, economy with all the enjoyments of the table, and health and happiness with an ample household liberally. Every purse and every taste will find in Mrs. Dodds' book, material within its means of grasp for efficient kitchen administration. "--_N. Y. Star. _

 "The book can not fail to be of great value in every household to those who will intelligently appreciate the author's stand-point. And there are but few who will not concede that it would be a public benefit if our people generally would become better informed as to the better mode of living than the author intends. "--_Scientific American. _

 "She evidently knows what she is writing about, and her book is eminently practical upon every page. It is more than a book of recipes for making soups, and pies, and cake; it is a educator of how to make the home the abode of healthful people. "--_The Daily Inter-Ocean_, Chicago, Ill. 

 "The book is a good one, and should be given a place in every well-regulated _cuisine_. "--_Indianapolis Journal. _

 "As a comprehensive work on the subject of healthful cookery, there is no other in print which is superior, and which brings the subject so clearly and squarely to the understanding of an average housekeeper. "--_Methodist Recorder. _

 "In this book Dr. Dodds deals with the whole subject scientifically, and yet has made her instructions entirely practical. This book will certainly prove useful, and if its precepts could be universally followed, without doubt human life would be considerably lengthened. "--_Springfield Union. _

 "Here is a cook-book prepared by an educated lady physician. It seems to be a very sensible addition to the voluminous literature on this subject, which ordinarily has little reference to the hygienic character of the preparations which are described. "--_Zion's Herald. _

 "This one seems to us to be most sensible and practical, while yet based upon scientific principles--in short, the best. If it were in every household, there would be far less misery in the world. "--_South and West. _

 "There is much good sense in the book, and there is plenty of occasion for attacking the ordinary methods of cooking, as well as the common style of diet. "--_Morning Star. _

 "She sets forth the why and wherefore of cookery, and devotes the larger portion of the work to those articles essential to good blood, strong bodies, and vigorous minds. "--_New Haven Register. _

The work will be sent to any address, by mail, post-paid, on receiptof price, $2. 00. AGENTS WANTED, to whom special terms will be given. Send for terms. Address

FOWLER & WELLS CO. , Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York. 

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Names of the Faculties. 

 1. AMATIVENESS. --Connubial love, affection. A. CONJUGAL LOVE. --Union for life, pairing instinct. 2. PARENTAL LOVE. --Care of offspring, and all young. 3. FRIENDSHIP. --Sociability, union of friends. 4. INHABITIVENESS. --Love of home and country. 5. CONTINUITY. --Application, consecutiveness. A. VITATIVENESS. --Clinging to life, tenacity. 6. COMBATIVENESS. Defense, courage. 7. DESTRUCTIVENESS. --Executiveness. 8. ALIMENTIVENESS. --Appetite for food, etc. 9. ACQUISITIVENESS. --Frugality, economy. 10. SECRETIVENESS. --Self-control, policy. 11. CAUTIOUSNESS. --Guardedness, safety. 12. APPROBATIVENESS. --Love of applause. 13. SELF-ESTEEM. --Self-respect, dignity. 14. FIRMNESS. --Stability, perseverance. 15. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. --Sense of right. 16. HOPE. --Expectation, anticipation. 17. SPIRITUALITY. --Intuition, prescience. 18. VENERATION. --Worship, adoration. 19. BENEVOLENCE. --Sympathy, kindness. 20. CONSTRUCTIVENESS. --Ingenuity, tools. 21. IDEALITY. --_Taste_, love of beauty, poetry. B. SUBLIMITY. --Love of the grand, vast. 22. IMITATION. --Copying, aptitude. 23. MIRTH. --Fun, wit, ridicule, facetiousness. 24. INDIVIDUALITY. --Observation, to see. 25. FORM. --Memory, _shape_, looks, persons. 26. SIZE. --Measurement of quantity. 27. WEIGHT. --Control of motion, balancing. 28. COLOR. --Discernment, and love of color. 29. ORDER. --_Method_, system, going by _rule_. 30. CALCULATION. --Mental arithmetic. 31. LOCALITY. --Memory of place, position. 32. EVENTUALITY. --Memory of facts, events. 33. TIME. --Telling _when_, time of day, dates. 34. TUNE. --Love of music, singing. 35. LANGUAGE. --_Expression_ by words, acts. 36. CAUSALITY. --_Planning_, thinking. 37. COMPARISON. --Analysis, inferring. C. HUMAN NATURE. --Sagacity. D. SUAVITY. --_Pleasantness_, blandness. 

For complete definitions of all the organs of the BRAIN, and thefeatures of the FACE, see New Physiognomy by S. R. WELLS, with 1, 000Illustrations. Price, post-paid, $5, $8, and $10, according to stylesof binding. 

"EDUCATION COMPLETE. "

Education and Self-Improvement Complete. --ComprisingPhysiology--Animal and Mental: Self-Culture and Perfection ofCharacter: including the Management of Youth: Memory and IntellectualImprovement. Complete in one large, well-bound 12mo volume, with 855pp. , and upward Seventy Engravings. Price, pre-paid, by mail. $3

This work is, in all respects, one of the best educational hand-booksin the English language. Any system of education that neglects thetraining and developing all that goes to make up a MAN, mustnecessarily be incomplete. The mind and body are so intimately relatedand connected that it is impossible to cultivate the former without itis properly supplemented by the latter. The work is subdivided intothree departments--the first devoted to the preservation andrestoration of health and the improvement of mentality; the second tothe regulation of the feelings and perfection of the moral character;and the third, to the intellectual cultivation. "EDUCATION COMPLETE"is a library in itself, and covers the ENTIRE NATURE OF MAN. We appendbelow a synopsis of the table of contents:

HEALTH OF BODY AND POWER OF MIND. 

 PHYSIOLOGY--ANIMAL AND MENTAL HEALTH--ITS LAWS AND PRESERVATION. Happiness constitutional; Pain not necessary; Object of all Education; Reciprocation existing between Body and Mind; Health defined; Sickness--not providential. 

 FOOD--ITS NECESSITY AND SELECTION. --Unperverted Appetite an Infallible Directory; Different Diets Feed Different Powers; How to Eat--or Mastication. Quantity, Time, etc. ; How Appetite can be Restrained; The Digestive Process; Exercise after Meals. 

 CIRCULATION, RESPIRATION, PERSPIRATION, SLEEP. --The Heart, its Structure and Office; The Circulatory System; The Lungs, their Structure and Functions; Respiration, and its importance; Perspiration; Prevention and Cure of Colds, and their consequences; Regulation of Temperature by Fire and Clothing; Sleep. 

 THE BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM. --Position, Function, and Structure of the Brain; Consciousness or the seat of the soul; Function of the Nerves; How to seep the Nervous system in Health; The Remedy of Diseases; Observance of the Laws of Health Effectual; The Drink of Dyspeptics--its kind, times and quantity; Promotion of Circulation; Consumption--its Prevention and Cure; Preventives of Insanity, etc. 

SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER. 

 CONSTITUENT ELEMENTS OR CONDITIONS OF PERFECTION OF CHARACTER--Progression a Law of Things--its application to human improvement; Human perfectibility, --the harmonious action of all the faculties; Governing the propensities by the intellectual and moral faculties. Proof that the organs can be enlarged and diminished; The proper management of Youth, etc. 

 ANALYSIS AND MEANS OF STRENGTHENING OF THE FACULTIES. --Amativeness; Philoprogenitiveness; Adhesiveness; Union for Life; Inhabitiveness; Continuity; Vitativeness; Combativeness; Destructiveness, or Executiveness; Alimentiveness; Aquativeness, or Bibativeness; Acquisitiveness; Secretiveness; Cautiousness; Approbativeness; Self-Esteem; Firmness. Conscientiousness; Hope; Spirituality--Marvelousness; Veneration; Benevolence; Constructiveness; Ideality; Sublimity; Initiation; Mirthfulness; Agreeableness--with engraved illustrations. 

MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT APPLIED TO SELF-EDUCATION. 

 CLASSIFICATION AND FUNCTION OF THE FACULTIES. --Man's superiority; Intellect his crowning endowment; How to strengthen and improve the Memory; Definition, location, analysis, and means of the strengthening the intellectual faculties. INDIVIDUALITY. FORM. SIZE. WEIGHT. COLOR. ORDER. CALCULATION. LOCALITY. EVENTUALITY. TIME. TUNE: Influence of Music. LANGUAGE: Power of Eloquence & Good Language. PHONOGRAPHY: its advantages. CAUSALITY: Teaching others to think; Astronomy; Anatomy and Physiology; Study of Nature. COMPARISON: Inductive reasoning. HUMAN NATURE: Adaptation. 

 DEVELOPMENTS REQUIRING FOR PARTICULAR AVOCATIONS. --Good Teachers; Clergymen; Physician; Lawyers; Statesmen; Editors; Authors; Public Speakers; Poets; Lecturers; Merchants; Mechanics; Artists; Painters; Farmers; Engineers; Landlords; Printers; Milliners; Seamstresses; Fancy Workers, and the like. 

 Full and explicit directions are given for the cultivation and direction of all the powers of the mind, instruction for finding the exact location of each organ, and its relative size compared with others. 

WORKS PUBLISHED BY FOWLER & WELLS CO. , New York. 

PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOGNOMY. 

PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL AND SCIENCE OF HEALTH--Devoted to Ethnology, Physiology, Phrenology, Physiognomy, Psychology, Sociology, Biography, Education, Literature, etc. , with Measures to Reform, Elevate andImprove Mankind Physically, Mentally and Spiritually. Monthly, $2. 00 ayear; 20c. A number. Bound vols. $3. 00

EXPRESSION: ITS ANATOMY AND PHILOSOPHY. Illustrated by Sir CharlesBell. Additional Notes and Illustrations by SAMUEL R. WELLS. $1. 

EDUCATION OF THE FEELINGS AND AFFECTIONS. Charles Bray. Edited byNELSON SIZER. Cloth, $1. 50. 

 This work gives full and definite directions for the cultivation or restraining of all the faculties relating to the feelings or affections. 

COMBE'S SYSTEM OF PHRENOLOGY; With 100 Engravings. $1. 25. 

COMBE'S CONSTITUTION OF MAN; Considered in Relation to externalobjects. With twenty engravings, and portrait of author. $1. 25. 

 The "Constitution of Man" is a work with which every teacher and every pupil should be acquainted. 

COMBE'S LECTURES ON PHRENOLOGY; with Notes, an Essay on thePhrenological Mode of Investigation, and an Historical Sketch, byA. BOARDMAN, M. D. $1. 25. 

COMBE'S MORAL PHILOSOPHY; or, the Duties of Man considered in hisIndividual, Domestic, and Social Capacities. $1. 25. 

HOW TO STUDY CHARACTER; OR, THE TRUE BASIS FOR THE SCIENCE OF MIND. Including a Review of Bain's Criticism of Phrenology. By Thos. A. Hyde. 50c. ; clo. $1. 00. 

NEW DESCRIPTIVE CHART, for the Use of examiners in the Delineation ofCharacter. By S. R. Wells. 25c. 

NEW PHYSIOGNOMY; OR SIGNS OF CHARACTER, as manifested throughTemperament and External Forms, and especially in the "Human FaceDivine. " With more than One Thousand Illustrations. By Samuel R. Wells. In one 12mo volume, 768 pages, muslin, $5. 00; in heavy calf, marbled edges, $8. 00; Turkey morocco, full gilt, $10. 00. 

 "The treatise of Mr. Wells, which is admirably printed and profusely illustrated, is probably the most complete hand-book upon the subject in the language. "--_N. Y. Tribune. _

HOW TO READ CHARACTER. --A new illustrated Hand-book of Phrenology andPhysiognomy, for Students and Examiners, with a chart for recordingthe sizes of the different Organs of the brain in the Delineation ofCharacter; with upward of 170 Engravings. By S. R. Wells. $1. 25. 

WEDLOCK; OR, THE RIGHT RELATIONS OF THE SEXES. Disclosing the Laws ofConjugal Selection, and showing Who May Marry. By S. R. Wells. $1. 50;gilt, $2. 00. 

BRAIN AND MIND; or Mental Science Considered in Accordance with thePrinciples of Phrenology and in Relation to Modern Physiology. H. S. DRAYTON M. D. , AND J. MCNEILL. $1. 50. 

 This is the latest and best work published. It constitutes a complete text-book of Phrenology, is profusely illustrated, and will adapted to the use of students. 

INDICATIONS OF CHARACTER, as manifested in the general shape of thehead and form of the face. H. S. DRAYTON, M. D. Illus. 25c. 

HOW TO STUDY PHRENOLOGY. --With Suggestions to Students, Lists of BestWorks, Constitutions for Societies, etc. 12mo, paper, 10c. 

CHOICE OF PURSUITS: OR, WHAT TO DO AND WHY. Describing Seventy-fiveTrades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required foreach. With Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers andWorkers. By Nelson Sizer. $1. 75. 

HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT; or, Phrenology in the Schoolroom and the Family. By Nelson Sizer. Illustrated. $1. 50. 

FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY. --Embracing Recollections of History, Anecdotes and Experience. $1. 50. 

THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and Free LoveExposed. 25c. 

CATHECHISM OF PHRENOLOGY. --Illustrating the Principles of the Scienceby means of Questions and Answers. Revised and enlarged by NelsonSizer. 50c. 

HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM. A Complete Manual of Phrenologyand Physiognomy for the People. By Prof. Nelson Sizer and H. S. Drayton, M. D. Nearly 200 octavo pages and 200 illustrations, price inpaper, 40c. ; ex. Clo. $1. 00. 

 All claim to know something of How to Read Character but very few understand all the Signs of Character as shown in the Head and Face. This is a study of which one never tires; it is always fresh, for you have always new text books. The book is really a great Album of Portraits, and will be found of interest for the illustrations alone. 

MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT, applied to Self-Education andJuvenile Instruction. By O. S. FOWLER. $1. 00. 

 The best work on the subject. 

HEREDITARY DESCENT. --Its Laws and Facts applied to Human Improvement. By O. S Fowler. Illustrated. $1. 00. 

THE SCIENCE OF THE MIND APPLIED TO TEACHING: Including the HumanTemperaments and their influence upon the Mind; The Analysis of theMental Faculties and how to develop and train them; The Theory ofEducation and of the School, and Normal Methods of teaching the commonEnglish branches. By Prof. U. J. HOFFMAN. Profusely illustrated. $1. 50. 

REMINISCENCES OF DR. SPURZHEIM AND GEORGE COMBE and a Review of theScience of Phrenology from the period of its discovery by Dr. GALI tothe time of the visit of GEORGE COMBE to the United States, with aportrait of Dr. SPURZHEIM, by NAHEM CAPEN, LL. D. Ex. Clo. $1. 25. 

EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT COMPLETE: Comprising "Physiology, Animal and Mental, " "Self-culture and Perfection of Character, ""Memory and Intellectual Improvement. " By O. S. FOWLER. One large vol. Illus. $3. 00. 

SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER; Including the Management ofChildren and Youth. $1. 00. 

 One of the best of the author's works. 

PHYSIOLOGY, ANIMAL AND MENTAL: Applied to the Preservation andRestoration of Health of Body and Power of Mind. $1. 00. 

PHRENOLOGY PROVED, ILLUSTRATED AND APPLIED. Embracing an Analysis ofthe Primary Mental Powers in their Various Degrees of Development, andlocation of the Phrenological Organs. The Mental Phenomena produced bytheir combined action, and the location of the faculties amplyillustrated. By the Fowler Brothers. $1. 25. 

SELF-INSTRUCTOR IN PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY. With over One HundredEngravings and a Chart for Phrenologists, for the Recording ofPhrenological Development. By the Fowler Brothers. 75c. 

PHRENOLOGICAL MISCELLANY OF ILLUSTRATED ANNUALS OF PHRENOLOGY ANDPHYSIOGNOMY, from 1865 to 1873 combined in one volume containing over400 illustrations, many portraits and biographies of distinguishedpersonages. $1. 50

REDFIELD'S COMPARATIVE PHYSIOGNOMY; or resemblances Between Men andAnimals, Illustrated. $2. 50

PHRENOLOGY AND THE SCRIPTURES. --Showing the Harmony between Phrenologyand the Bible. 15 cents. 

PHRENOLOGICAL CHART. A symbolical Head 12 inches across, Lithographedin colors, on paper 19 × 24 inches, mounted for hanging on the wall, or suitable for framing. $1. 00

EDUCATION: ITS ELEMENTARY PRINCIPLES FOUNDED ON THE NATURE OF MAN. ByJ. G. Spurzheim, $1. 25

NATURAL LAWS OF MAN. --A Philosophical Catechism. Sixth Edition. Enlarged and improved by J. G. Spurzheim, M. D. 50 cents. 

LECTURES ON MENTAL SCIENCE. --According to the philosophy ofPhrenology. Delivered before the Anthropological Society. By Rev. G. S. Weaver. Illustrated. $1. 00

PHRENOLOGICAL BUST. --Showing the latest classification and exactlocation of the Organs of the Brain. It is divided so as to show eachindividual Organ on one side; with all the groups Social, Executive, Intellectual and Moral, classified on the other. Large size (notmailable) $1. Small 50 cents. 

WORKS ON MAGNETISM. 

 There is an increasing interest in the facts relating to Magnetism, etc. , and we present below a list of Works on this subject. 

LIBRARY OF MESMERISM AND PSYCHOLOGY. --Comprising the Philosophy ofMesmerism, Clairvoyance, Mental Electricity. --FASCINATION, or thePower of Charming. Illustrating the Principles of Life in connectionwith Spirit and Matter. --THE MACROCOSM or the Universe Without, beingan unfolding of the plan of Creation and the Correspondence ofTruths. --THE PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY; the Doctrine ofimpressions, including the connection between Mind and Matter, also, the Treatment of Diseases. --PSYCHOLOGY or the Science of the Soul, considered Physiologically and Philosophically; with an Appendixcontaining Notes of Mesmeric and Psychical experience andIllustrations of the Brain and Nervous System. $3. 50. 

PHILOSOPHY OF MESMERISM. --By Dr. John Bovee Dods. 50 cents. 

PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY. A course of Twelve Lectures. $1. 00

PRACTICAL INSTRUCTIONS IN ANIMAL MAGNETISM. By J. P. F. Deleuze. Translated by Thomas C. Hartshorn. New and Revised edition, with anappendix of notes by the Translator and Letters from EminentPhysicians and others. $2. 00

HISTORY OF SALEM WITCHCRAFT. --A review of Charles W. Upham's greatWork from the _Edinburgh Review_, with Notes by Samuel R. Wellscontaining also, The Planchette Mystery, Spiritualism, by Mrs. HarrietBeecher Stowe, and Dr. Doddridge's Dream. $1. 00

FASCINATION: OR, THE PHILOSOPHY OF CHARMING. Illustrating thePrinciples of Life in connection with Spirit and Matter. By J. B. Newman, M. D. $1. 00

HOW TO MAGNETIZE, OR MAGNETISM AND CLAIRVOYANCE. --A Practical Treatiseon the Choice, Management and Capabilities of Subjects, withInstructions on the Method of Procedure. By J. V. Wilson. 25c. 

HEALTH BOOKS. 

_This List Comprises the Best Works on Hygiene, Health, Etc. _

HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD OR HYGIENIC COOKERY; by Susanna W. Dodds, M. D. 12mo. Ex. Clo. $2. 00. 

 A novice in housekeeping will not be puzzled by this admirable book, it is so simple, systematic, practical and withal productive of much household pleasure, not only by means of the delicious food prepared from its recipes, but through the saving of labor and care to the housewife. 

HOUSEHOLD REMEDIES. --For the prevalent Disorders of the HumanOrganism, by Felix Oswald, M. D. 12mo. Pp. 229 $1. 00. 

 The author of this work is one of the keenest and most critical writers on medical subjects now before the public. He writes soundly and practically. He is an enthusiastic apostle of the gospel of hygiene. We predict that his book will win many converts to the faith and prove a valuable aid to those who are already of the faith but are asking for "more light. "

 Among the special ailments herein considered are Consumption, Asthma, Dyspepsia, Climatic Fevers, Enteric Disorders, Nervous Maladies, Catarrh, Pleurisy, etc. 

THE TEMPERAMENTS, OR VARIETIES OF PHYSICAL CONSTITUTION IN MAN, considered in their relation to Mental Character and Practical Affairsof Life. With an Introduction by H. S. Drayton, A. M. Editor of thePHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL. 150 Portraits and other illustrations, by D. H. Jacques, M. D. $1. 50. 

HOW TO GROW HANDSOME, OR HINTS TOWARD PHYSICAL PERFECTION and thePhilosophy of Human Beauty, showing How to Acquire and Retain BodilySymmetry, Health and Vigor, secure long life and avoid the infirmitiesand deformities of age. New Edition, $1. 00. 

MEDICAL ELECTRICITY. --A Manual for Students, showing the mostScientific and Rational Application to all forms of Diseases, of thedifferent combinations of Electricity, Galvanism, Electro-Magnetism. Magneto-Electricity, and Human Magnetism, by W. White, M. D. $1. 50. 

THE MAN WONDERFUL IN THE HOUSE BEAUTIFUL. --An allegory teaching thePrinciples of Physiology and Hygiene, and the effects of Stimulantsand Narcotics, by Drs. C. B. And Mary A. Allen. $1. 50. 

 To all who enjoy studies pertaining to the human body this book will prove a boon. The accomplished physician, the gentle mother, the modest girl, and the wide-awake school-boy will find pleasure in its perusal. It is wholly unlike any book previously published on the subject, and is such a thorough teacher that progressive parents cannot afford to do without it. 

THE FAMILY PHYSICIAN. --A Ready Prescriber and Hygienic Advisor WithReference to the Nature, Causes, Prevention and Treatment of Diseases, Accidents and Casualties of every kind with a Glossary and copiousindex. Illustrated with nearly three hundred engravings, by Joel Shaw, M. D. $3. 

HOW TO FEED THE BABY TO MAKE HER HEALTHY AND HAPPY, by C. E. Page, M. D. 12mo. Third edition, revised and enlarged. Paper, 50c. Extra cloth. 75c. 

 This is the most important work ever published on the subject of infant dietetics. 

THE NATURAL CURE OF CONSUMPTION, Constipation, Bright's Disease, Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Colds, Fevers, etc. How these DisordersOriginate and How to Prevent Them. By C. E. Page, M. D. Cloth, $1. 00

HORSES, THEIR FEED AND THEIR FEET. A Manual of Horse Hygiene. Invaluable to the veteran or the novice, pointing out the true sourcesof disease, and how to prevent and counteract them. By C. E. Page, M. D. Paper 50c. ; cloth 75c. 

 This is the best book on the care of horses ever published, worth many times its cost to every horse owner. 

THE MOVEMENT CURE. --The History and Philosophy, of this System ofMedical Treatment, with examples of Single Movements, The Principlesof Massage, and directions for their Use in various Forms of ChronicDiseases. New edition by G. H. Taylor, M. D. $1. 50. 

MASSAGE. --Giving the Principles and directions for its application inall Forms of Chronic Diseases, by G. H. Taylor, M. D. $1. 00

THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE. --By John Cowan, M. D. Ex. Clo. $3. 00. 

TOBACCO: ITS PHYSICAL, INTELLECTUAL AND MORAL EFFECTS ON THE HUMANSYSTEM, by Dr. Alcott. New and revised edition with notes andadditions by N. Sizer. 25c. 

SOBER AND TEMPERATE LIFE. --The Discourses and Letters of Louis Corbaroon a Sober and Temperate Life. 50c. 

SMOKING AND DRINKING. By James Parton. 50c. ; cloth. 75c. 

FOOD AND DIET. With observations on the Dietetical Regimen, suited forDisordered States of the Digestive Organs, by J. Pereira, M. D. , F. R. S. $1. 50. 

PRINCIPLES APPLIED TO THE PRESERVATION OF HEALTH and the improvementof Physical and Mental Education, by Andrew Combe, M. D. Illustrated, cloth, $1. 50. 

WATER CURE IN CHRONIC DISEASES. An Exposition of the Causes, Progress, and Termination of various Chronic Diseases of the Digestive Organs, Lungs, Nerves. Limbs and Skin, and of their Treatment by Water andother hygienic Means. By J. M. Gully, M. D. $1. 25. 

SCIENCE OF HUMAN LIFE. With a copious Index and Biographical Sketch ofthe author, Sylvester Graham. Illustrated, $3. 00. 

MANAGEMENT OF INFANCY, PHYSIOLOGICAL AND MORAL TREATMENT. With Notesand a Supplementary Chapter. $1. 25. 

DIET QUESTION. --Giving the Reason Why, from "Health in the Household. "by S. W. Dodds, M. D. 25c. 

HEALTH MISCELLANY. --An important collection of Health Papers. Nearly100 octavo pages. 25c. 

HOW TO BE WELL, OR COMMON SENSE MEDICAL HYGIENE. A book for thePeople, giving directions for the Treatment and Cure of Acute Diseaseswithout the use of Drug Medicines; also General Hints on Health. $1. 00

FOREORDAINED. --A Story of Heredity and of Special Paternal Influences, by an Observer. 12mo. Pp. 90. Paper, 50c. ; extra cloth, 75c. 

CONSUMPTION, its Prevention and Cure by the Movement Cure. 25c. 

NOTES ON BEAUTY, VIGOR AND DEVELOPMENT; or, How to Acquire Plumpnessof Form, Strength of Limb and Beauty of Complexion. Illustrated. 10c. 

TEA AND COFFEE. --Their Physical, Intellectual and Moral Effects on theHuman System, by Dr. Alcott. NEW and revised edition with notes andadditions by Nelson Sizer. 25c. 

ACCIDENTS AND EMERGENCIES, a guide containing Directions for theTreatment in Bleeding, Cuts. Sprains, Ruptures, Dislocations. Burnsand Scalds. Bites of Mad Dogs. Choking, Poisons, Fits, Sunstrokes, Drowning, etc. , by Alfred Smee, with Notes and additions by R. T. Trall, M. D. New and revised edition. 25c. 

SPECIAL LIST. --We have in addition to the above, Private Medical Worksand Treatises. This Special List will be sent on receipt of stamp. 

WORKS ON HYGIENE BY R. T. TRALL, M. D. 

_These works may be considered standard from the reformatory hygienicstandpoint. Thousands of people owe their lives and good health totheir teaching. _

HYDROPATHIC ENCYCLOPEDIA. --A System of Hydropathy and Hygiene. Physiology of the Human Body; Dietetics and Hydropathic Cookery;Theory and Practice of Water Treatment; Special Pathology andHydro-Therapeutics, including the Nature, Causes, Symptoms andTreatment of all known diseases; Application of Hydropathy toMidwifery and the Nursery with nearly One Thousand Pages including aGlossary. 2 vols. In one $4. 

HYGIENIC HAND-BOOK. --Intended as a Practical Guide for the Sick-room. Arranged alphabetically. $1. 25. 

ILLUSTRATED FAMILY GYMNASIUM. --Containing the most improved methods ofapplying Gymnastic, Callisthenic, Kinesipathic and Vocal Exercises tothe Development of the Bodily Organs, the invigoration of theirfunctions, the preservation of Health and the Cure of Diseases andDeformities. $1. 25. 

THE HYDROPATHIC COOK-BOOK, with Recipes for Cooking on HygienicPrinciples. Containing also a Philosophical Exposition of theRelations of Food to Health, the Chemical Elements and ProximateConstitution of Alimentary Principles; the Nutritive Properties of allkinds of Aliments; the Relative value of Vegetable and AnimalSubstances; the Selection and Preservation of Dietetic Material, etc. $1. 00. 

FRUITS AND FARINACEA: THE PROPER FOOD OF MAN. --Being an attempt toprove by History, Anatomy, Physiology and Chemistry that the Original, Natural and Best Diet of Man is derived from the Vegetable Kingdom. ByJohn Smith. With Notes by Trall. $1. 25. 

DIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA. --A Complete Explanation of the Physiology ofthe Digestive Processes, with the Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsiaand other Disorders. Illustrated. $1. 00. 

THE MOTHER'S HYGIENE HAND-BOOK for the Normal Development and Trainingof Women and Children, and the Treatment of their Diseases. $1. 00. 

POPULAR PHYSIOLOGY. --A Familiar Exposition of the Structures, Functions and Relations of the Human System and the Preservation ofHealth. $1. 25. 

THE TRUE TEMPERANCE PLATFORM. --An Exposition of the Fallacy ofAlcoholic Medication. 50 cents. 

THE ALCOHOLIC CONTROVERSY. --A Review of the _Westminster Review_ onthe Physiological Errors of Teetotalism. 50 cents. 

THE HUMAN VOICE. --Its Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, Therapeutics andTraining, with Rules of Order for Lyceums. 50 cents. 

THE TRUE HEALING ART: OR HYGIENIC _VS. _ DRUG MEDICATION. An Addressdelivered before the Smithsonian Institute, Washington. D. C. 25 cts. ;clo. , 50 cents. 

WATER-CURE FOR THE MILLION. --The processes of Water Cure Explained. Rules for Bathing, Dieting, Exercising, Recipes for Cooking, etc. , etc. Directions for Home Treatment. Paper. 15 cts. 

HYGEIAN HOME COOK-BOOK: OR HEALTHFUL AND PALATABLE FOOD WITHOUTCONDIMENTS. 25 cts. Clo. , 50 cents. 

DISEASES OF THROAT AND LUNGS. --Including Diphtheria and its ProperTreatment. 25 cents. 

THE BATH. --Its History and Uses in Health and Disease. 35c. ; clo. , 50c. 

A HEALTH CATECHISM. --Questions and Answers. With Illus. 10 c. 

MISCELLANEOUS WORKS. 

HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT (EDUCATIONAL); comprising, "How toWrite, " "How to Talk, " "How to Behave, " and "How to do Business. " One12mo vol. $2. 00. 

HOW TO WRITE. --A manual of Composition and Letter-Writing. 60c. 

HOW TO TALK. --A Pocket Manual of Conversation and Debate, more thanFive Hundred Common Mistakes in Speaking Corrected. 60c. 

HOW TO BEHAVE. --A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette and Guide toCorrect Personal Habits with Rules for Debating Societies andDeliberative Assemblies. 60c. 

HOW TO DO BUSINESS. --A Manual of Practical Affairs and a Guide toSuccess in Life, with a Collection of Legal and Commercial Forms. 60c. 

HOW TO READ. --What and Why; or Hints in Choosing the Best Books, witha Classified List of Best Works in Biography, Criticism, Fine Arts, History, Novels, Poetry, Science, Religion, Foreign Languages, etc. ByA. V. Petit. Cloth, 60c. 

HOW TO SING; or, the Voice and How to Use it. By William H. Daniell. 50c. ; clo. 75c. 

HOW TO CONDUCT A PUBLIC MEETING; or the Chairman's Guide forConducting Meetings. 15c. 

HOPES AND HELPS FOR THE YOUNG OF BOTH SEXES. --Relating to theFormation of Character, Choice of Avocation, Health, Amusement, Music, Conversation, Social Affections, Courtship and Marriage, by Rev G. S. Weaver. $1. 00

AIMS AND AIDS FOR GIRLS AND YOUNG WOMEN, on the Various Duties ofLife. Including Physical, Intellectual and Moral Development, Dress, Beauty, Fashion, Employment, Education, the Home Relations, theirDuties to Young Men, Marriage, Womanhood and Happiness, by the same$1. 00. 

WAYS OF LIFE, showing the Right Way and the Wrong Way Contrasting theHigh Way and the Low Way; the True Way and the False Way; the UpwardWay and the Downward Way; the Way of Honor and of Dishonor, by Rev. G. S. Weaver. 75c. 

THE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD. --Embracing the Husband, Wife, Father, Mother, Child, Brother and Sister, by Rev. G. S. Weaver. 75c. 

WEAVER'S WORKS FOR THE YOUNG, Comprising "Hopes and Helps for theYoung of Both Sexes, " "Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women, " "Waysof Life; or, the Right Way and the Wrong Way. " One Vol. 12mo. $2. 50

A NATURAL SYSTEM OF ELOCUTION AND ORATORY. --Founded on an analysis ofthe Human Constitution, considered in its threefold Nature, Mental, Physiological and Expressional. By THOS. A. HYDE and WM. HYDE. Illustrated. $2. 50. 

THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT, CONTAINING THE ORIGINAL GREEK TEXT OF THE NEWTESTAMENT, with an interlineary Word-for-Word English Translation: aNew Emphatic Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on theReadings of the Vatican Manuscript, by Benjamin Wilson. 884 pp. $4. 00. Ex. , $5. 00. 

A BACHELOR'S TALKS ABOUT MARRIED LIFE AND THINGS ADJACENT, by Rev. William Aikman, D. D. $1. 50

LIFE AT HOME; or The Family and its members. Including Husbands andWives, Parents, Children, Brothers, Sisters, Employers and Employed. The Altar in the House. By Dr. Aikman. $1. 50. Gilt. $2. 00. 

A LUCKY WAIF. --A story for Mothers, of Home and School Life, by EllenE. Kenyon. 12mo. $1. 00. 

ORATORY--SACRED AND SECULAR; or, the Extemporaneous Speaker, includinga Chairman's Guide for conducting Public Meetings according to thebest Parliamentary forms, by Wm. Pittenger. $1. 00. 

THE CHILDREN OF THE BIBLE. By Fanny L. Armstrong, with an Introductionby Frances E. Willard, Pres. N. W. C. T. U. Clo. $1. 

THE TEMPERANCE REFORMATION. --Its History from the first TemperanceSociety in the U. S. To the Adoption of the Maine Liquor Law. $1. 00. 

ÆSOP'S FABLES. --With Seventy Splendid Illustrations. One vol. 12mo. Fancy cloth, gilt edges, $1. 00

POPE'S ESSAY ON MAN, with illustrations and Notes by S. R. Wells, tinted paper, clo. Full gilt. $1. 00. 

GEMS OF GOLDSMITH; "The Traveler, " "The Deserted Village, " "TheHermit. " With notes and Original Illustrations, and BiographicalSketch of the great author. One vol. , fancy cloth, full gilt. $1. 00. 

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER. In Seven Parts. By Samuel T. Coleridge. With new illus. By Chapman, fancy clo. , full gilt, $1. 00

IMMORTALITY INHERENT IN NATURE. By Sumner Barlow, author of "TheVoices" and other poems, ex. Cloth, full gilt. 60c. 

HOW TO PAINT. --A Complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the useof Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants and Farmers, and a Guide to theProfessional Painter. Containing a plain Common sense statement of theMethods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plainand Fancy Painting of every Description including Gilding, Bronzing, Staining, Graining, Marbling. Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining, Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, withFormulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of VariousPigments used; tools required etc. $1. 00. 

CARRIAGE PAINTER'S ILLUSTRATED MANUAL, containing a Treatise on theArt, Science and Mystery of Coach, Carriage, and Car Painting. Including the Improvements in Fine Gilding, Bronzing, Staining, Varnishing, Polishing, Copying, Lettering, Scrolling, and Ornamenting. By F. B. Gardner. $1. 00. 

HOW TO KEEP A STORE; embodying the Experience of Thirty Years, inMerchandizing. By S. H. Terry. $1. 50. 

HOW TO RAISE FRUIT. --A Hand-book. Being a Guide to the Cultivation andManagement of Fruit Trees, and of Grapes and Small Fruits. WithDescriptions of the Best and Most Popular Varieties. Illustrated. ByThomas Gregg. $1. 00. 

HOW TO BE WEATHER-WISE. --A new View of our Weather System, by I. P. Noyes. 25c. 

HOW TO LIVE. --Saving and Wasting; or, Domestic Economy Illustrated bythe Life of two Families of Opposite Character, Habits, and Practices, Useful Lessons in Housekeeping and Hints How to Live, How to Have, andHow to be Happy including the Story of "A Dime a Day, " by SolonRobinson. $1. 00. 

HOMES FOR ALL; OR THE GRAVEL WALL. A New Cheap and Superior Mode ofBuilding, adapted to Rich and Poor. Showing the Superiority of theGravel Concrete over Brick, Stone and Frame Houses; Manner of Makingand Depositing it. By O. S. Fowler. $1. 00. 

THE MODEL POTATO. --Proper cultivation and mode of cooking. 30c. 

THREE VISITS TO AMERICA, by Emily Faithful. 400 pages. $1. 50. 

A NEW THEORY OF THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES. By Benj. G. Farris. $1. 50. 

MAN IN GENESIS AND IN GEOLOGY, or, the Biblical Account of Man'sCreation tested by Scientific Theories of his Origin and Antiquity, byJ. P. Thompson, D. D. , LL. D. $1. 00