FASHIONABLE PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER SKETCHES

[Title page: title. Jpg]

BY LAURENCE OLIPHANT

AUTHOR OF'PICCADILLY, ' 'ALTIORA PETO, ' 'MASOLLAM, ' ETC. 

WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONSEDINBURGH AND LONDONMDCCCLXXXVII

PRICE ONE SHILLING

PREFACE. 

That railway travel is not, as a rule, conducive to serious thought, mayfairly be inferred from the class of literature displayed on thebookstalls at the stations. I have therefore refrained from any attemptto excite the reflective faculties of the reader, excepting in the firstand third of the accompanying sketches, and even in these have onlyventured to suggest ideas, the full scope and pregnancy of which it mustbe left to his own idiosyncrasy to appreciate and develop, the moreespecially as they bear upon a certain current of investigation which hasrecently become popular. 

I have to express my thanks to the Editor of the 'Nineteenth CenturyReview' for the kind permission he has granted me to reproduce "TheSisters of Thibet"; and I avail myself of the opportunity thus affordedof removing the impression which, to my surprise, was conveyed to me byletters from numerous correspondents, that the article contained anyrecord of my own personal experiences. The satire was suggested by thework of an author whose sincerity I do not doubt, and for whose motives Ihave the highest respect, in order to point out what appears to me thedefective morality, from an altruistic and practical point of view, of asystem of which he is the principal exponent in this country, and which, under the name of Esoteric Buddhism, still seems to possess somefascination for a certain class of minds. 

The other articles originally appeared in 'Blackwood's Magazine, ' and Iwish to express my acknowledgments to my publishers for their usualcourtesy in allowing me to republish them in this form. 

ATHENAEUM CLUB, _January_ 1887. 

CONTENTS. 

Fashionable PhilosophyThe Brigand's Bride: a tale of Southern ItalyThe Sisters of ThibetAdolphus: a comedy of affinities

FASHIONABLE PHILOSOPHY. 

SCENE--_A London Drawing-room_. TIME--5 _o'clock_ P. M. 

_The afternoon tea apparatus in one corner of the room_, _and_ LadyFritterly _on a couch in another_. The Hon. Mrs Allmash _is announced_. 

_Lady Fritterly_. How too kind, dear, of you to come, and so early, too!I've got such a lot of interesting people coming, and we are going todiscuss the religion of the future. 

_Mrs Allmash_. How quite delightful! I do so long for something moresubstantial than the theologies of the past! It is becoming quitepuzzling to know what to teach one's children: mine are getting oldenough now to understand about things, and one ought to teach themsomething. I was talking about it to that charming Professor Germselllast night. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Well, I hope he is coming presently, so you will beable to continue your conversation. Then there is Mr Coldwaite, thecelebrated Comtist; and Mr Fussle, who writes those delightful articleson prehistoric aesthetic evolution; and Mr Drygull, the eminenttheosophist, whose stories about esoteric Buddhism are quite tooextraordinary, and who has promised to bring a Khoja--a most interestingmoral specimen, my dear--who has just arrived from Bombay; and LordFondleton. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Lord Fondleton! I did not know that he was interested insuch subjects. 

_Lady Fritterly_. He says he is, dear; between ourselves--but this, ofcourse, is strictly _entre nous_--I rather think that it is I whointerest him: but I encourage him, poor fellow; it may wean him from theunprofitable life he is leading, and turn his mind to higher things. Oh!I almost forgot, ---then there is my new beauty!

_Mrs Allmash_. Your new beauty!

_Lady Fritterly_. Yes; if you could only have dined with me the othernight, you would have met her. I had such a perfect little dinner. Justthink! A poet, an actor, a journalist, a painter, a wit, and a newbeauty. I'll tell you how I found her. She really belongs at present toLady Islington and myself; but of course, now we have started her, allthe other people will snap her up. We found that we both owed thatvulgar upstart, Mrs Houndsley, a visit, and went there together--becauseI always think two people are less easily bored than one--when suddenlythe most perfect apparition you ever beheld stood before us;--an oldmaster dress, an immense pattern, a large hat rim encircling a face, somerich auburn hair inside, and the face a perfect one. Well, you know, itturned out that she was not born in the purple--her husband is just aclerk in Burley's Bank; but we both insisted on being introduced toher--for, you see, my dear, there is no doubt about it, she is a ready-made beauty. The same idea occurred to Lady Islington, so we agreed aswe drove away that we would bring her out. The result is, that she wentto Islington House on Tuesday, and came to me on Thursday, and created aperfect furor on both occasions; so now she is fairly started. 

_Mrs Allmash_. How wonderfully clever and fortunate you are, dear! Whatis her name?

_Lady Fritterly_. Mrs Gloring. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Oh yes; everybody was talking about her at the Duchess'slast night. I am dying to see her; but they say that she is rather afool. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Pure spite and jealousy. Yet that is the way theseChristian women of society obey the precept of their religion, and lovetheir neighbours as themselves. 

[Lord Fondleton _is announced_, _accompanied by a stranger_. 

_Lord Fondleton_. How d'ye do, Lady Fritterly? I am sure you willexcuse my taking the liberty of introducing Mr Rollestone, a very oldfriend of mine, to you; he has only just returned to England, after anabsence of so many years that he is quite a stranger in London. 

[Lady Fritterly _is_ "_delighted_. " _The rest of the party arrive inrapid succession_. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Dear Mr Germsell, I was just telling Lady Fritterly whatan interesting conversation we were having last night when it wasunfortunately interrupted. I shall be so glad if you would explain morefully now what you were telling me. I am sure everybody would beinterested. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Oh do, Mr Germsell; it would be quite too nice of you. And, Mr Drygull, will you ask the Khoja to--

_Mr Drygull_. My friend's name is Ali Seyyid, Lady Fritterly. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Pray excuse my stupidity, Mr Allyside, and come andsit near me. Lord Fondleton, find Mrs Gloring a chair. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. Who's our black friend?

_Mrs Gloring_. I am sure I don't know. I think Lady Fritterly calledhim a codger. 

_Lord Fondleton_. Ah, he looks like it, --and a rum one at that, as ourAmerican cousins say. 

_Mrs Gloring_. Hush! Mr Germsell is going to begin. 

_Mr Germsell_. Mrs Allmash asked me last night whether my thoughts hadbeen directed to the topic which is uppermost just now in so many mindsin regard to the religion of the future, and I ventured to tell her thatit would be found to be contained in the generalised expediency of thepast. 

_Mr Fussle_. Pardon me, but the religion of the future must be theresult of an evolutionary process, and I don't see how generalisations ofpast expediency are to help the evolution of humanity. 

_Germsell_. They throw light upon it; and the study of the evolutionaryprocess so far teaches us how we may evolve in the future. For instance, you have only got to think of evolution as divided into moral, astronomic, geologic, biologic, psychologic, sociologic, aesthetic, andso forth, and you will find that there is always an evolution of theparts into which it divides itself, and that therefore there is but oneevolution going on everywhere after the same manner. The work of sciencehas been not to extend our experience, for that is impossible, but tosystematise it; and in that systematisation of it will be found thereligion of which we are in search. 

_Drygull_. May I ask why you deem it impossible that our experience canbe extended?

_Germsell_. Because it has itself defined its limits. The combinedexperience of humanity, so far as its earliest records go, has beenlimited by laws, the nature of which have been ascertained: it isimpossible that it should be transcended without violation of theconclusions arrived at by positive science. 

_Drygull_. I can more easily understand that the conclusions arrived atby men of science should be limited, than that the experience of humanityshould be confined by those conclusions; but I fail to perceive why thosephilosophers should deny the existence of certain human faculties, because they don't happen to possess them themselves. I think I know aRishi who can produce experiences which would scatter all theirconclusions to the winds, when the whole system which is built upon themwould collapse. 

_Mrs Gloring_ [_aside to_ Lord Fondleton]. Pray, Lord Fondleton, can youtell me what a Rishi is?

_Lord Fondleton_. A man who has got into higher states, you know--what Iheard Mr Drygull call a transcendentalist the other day, whatever thatmay be. I don't understand much about these matters myself, but I takeit he is a sort of evolved codger. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Oh, how awfully interesting! Dear Mr Drygull, do tell ussome of the extraordinary things the Rishi can do. 

_Drygull_. If you will only all of you listen attentively, and if MrGermsell will have the goodness to modify to some degree the prejudicedattitude of mind common to all men of science, you will hear him asplainly as I can at this moment beating a tom-tom in his cottage in theHimalayas. 

[Mr Germsell _gets up impatiently_, _and walks to the other end of theback drawing-room_. 

_Drygull_ [_casting a compassionate glance after him_]. Perhaps it isbetter so. Now please, Lady Fritterly, I must request a few moments ofthe most profound silence on the part of all. You will not hear thesound as though coming from a distance, but it will seem rather like amuffled drumming taking place inside your head, scarcely perceptible atfirst, when its volume will gradually increase. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. Some bad champagne producedthe same phenomenon in my head last night. 

_Lady Fritterly_ [_severely_]. Hush! Lord Fondleton. 

[_There is a dead silence for some minutes_. 

_Mrs Gloring_ [_excitedly_]. Oh, I hear it! It is something like awoodpecker inside of one. 

_Drygull_. Not a word, my dear madam, if you please. 

_Lady Fritterly_ [_after a long pause_]. I imagine I hear a very faintsomething; there it goes--boom, boom, boom--at the back of my tympanum. 

_Lord Fondleton_. That's not like a woodpecker. 

_Mrs Gloring_. No; it seems to me more like tic-tic-tic. 

_Mrs Allmash_. How too tiresome! I can't hear anything. I suppose itis on account of the rumble of the carriages. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_whispers to_ Mrs Gloring]. I hear something inside ofme; do you know what?

_Mrs Gloring_. No; what?

_Lord Fondleton_. The beating of my own heart. Can't you guess forwhom?

_Mrs Gloring_. No. Perhaps the Rishi makes it beat. 

_Lord Fondleton_. Dear Mrs Gloring, you are the Rishi for whom--

_Mrs Gloring_. Hush!

_Lady Fritterly_. There, it is getting louder, like distant artillery, and yet so near. Oh, Mr Drygull, what a wonderful man the Rishi must be!

_Drygull_. Yes; he knew that at this hour to-day I should need anillustration of his power, and he is kindly furnishing us with one. Thisis an experience which I think our friend over there [_looking towards_Mr Germsell] would find it difficult to classify. 

_Germsell_. Fussle, have the goodness to step here for a moment--[_pointsto a woman beating a carpet in the back-yard of an adjoining house_]. That is the tom-tom in the Himalayas they are listening to. 

_Fussle_. Well, now, do you know, I don't feel quite sure of that. Iwas certainly conscious of a sort of internal hearing of something whenyou called me, which was not that; it was as though I had fiddlestringsin my head and somebody was beginning to strum upon them. 

_Germsell_. Fiddlestrings indeed--say rather fiddlesticks. I amsurprised at a sensible man like yourself listening to such nonsense. 

_Fussle_ [_testily_]. It is much greater nonsense for you to tell me Idon't hear something I do hear, than for me to hear something you can'thear. You may be deaf, while my sense of hearing may be evolving. Canyou hear what Lord Fondleton is saying to Mrs Gloring at this moment?

_Germsell_. No, and I don't want to. 

_Fussle_. Ah, there it is. You won't hear anything you don't want to. Now I can, and he ought not to say it;--look how she is blushing. Oh, Iforgot you are short-sighted. Well, you see, I can hear further thanyou, and see further than you. Why should you set a limit on theevolution of the senses, and say that no man in the future can ever hearor see further than men have in the past? How dare you, sir, with yourimperfect faculties and your perfunctory method of research, which canonly cover an infinitesimal period in the existence of this planet, venture to limit the potentialities of those laws which have alreadyconverted us from ascidians into men, and which may as easily evolve inus the faculty of hearing tom-toms in the Himalayas while we are sittinghere, as of that articulate speech or intelligent reasoning which, owingto their operation, we now possess?

_Germsell_. Pardon me, you do not possess them, Mr Fussle. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Mr Fussle, might I ask you to take this cup of tea toMrs Allmash? Mr Germsell, it would be too kind of you to hand MrsGloring the cake. 

_Fussle_ [_savagely_]. We will continue this conversation at theMinerva. 

_Mrs Allmash_ [_apart to the_ Khoja]. Oh, Mr Allyside, I am so glad tohear that you speak English so perfectly! I want you to tell me allabout your religion; perhaps it may help us, you know, to find thereligion of the future, which we are all longing for. And I am sointerested in oriental religions! there is something so charminglypicturesque about them. I quite dote on those dear old Shastras, andVedas, and Puranas; they contain such a lot of beautiful things, youknow. 

_Ali Seyyid_. I know as little, madam, of the Indian books you mentionas I do of the Bible, which I have always heard was a very good book, andcontained also a great many beautiful things. I am neither a Hindoo nora Buddhist, --in fact, it is forbidden to me by my religion to tell youexactly what I am. 

_Mrs Allmash_. But indeed I won't tell anybody if you will only confidein me. Oh, this mystery is too exquisitely delicious! Who knows, perhaps you might make a convert of me?

_Ali Seyyid_ [_with an admiring gaze_]. Madam, you would be a prize sowell worth winning, that you almost tempt me. The first of our secretsis that we are all things to all men, until we are quite sure of thesympathy of the listener; then we venture a step further. 

_Mrs Allmash_. How wise that is! and how unlike the system adopted byChristians! You may be sure of my most entire sympathy. 

_Ali Seyyid_. The next principle is--but this is a profound secret, which you must promise not to repeat--the rejection of all fixed rules ofreligion or morality. It really does not matter in the least what youdo: the internal disposition is the only thing of any value. Now, as faras I understand, you have already got rid of the religion, or you wouldnot be looking for a new one; all you have to do is to get rid of themorality, and there you are. 

_Mrs Allmash_ [_with an expression of horror and alarm_]. Yes, there Ishould be indeed. Oh, Mr Allyside, what a dreadful man you are! Whostarted such an extraordinary doctrine?

_Ali Seyyid_. Well, his name was Hassan-bin-Saba--commonly known amongWesterns as the "Old Man of the Mountain. " His followers, owing to thevalue they attached to murder as a remedial agent, have been known by thename of the "Assassins. "

_Mrs Allmash_. Oh, good gracious!

_Lady Fritterly_. My dear Louisa, what is the matter? You look quitefrightened. 

_Ali Seyyid_. Mrs Allmash is a little alarmed because I proposed a newmorality for the future, as well as a new religion. 

_Mr Coldwaite_. Excuse me; but in discussions of this sort, I think itis most important that we should clearly understand the meanings of theterms we employ. Now I deny that any difference subsists betweenreligion and morality. That any such distinction should exist in men'sminds is due to the fact that dogma is inseparably connected withreligion. If you eliminate dogma, what does religion consist of butmorality? Substitute the love of Humanity for the love of theUnknowable--which is the subject of worship of Mr Germsell; or of theDeity, who is the object of worship of the majority of mankind--and youobtain a stimulus to morality which will suffice for all human need. Itis in this great emotion, as it seems to me, that you will find at oncethe religion and the morality of the future. 

_Germsell_. From what source do you get the force which enables you tolove humanity with a devotion so intense that it shall elevate yourpresent moral standard?

_Coldwaite_. From humanity itself. I am not going to be entrapped intogetting it from any unknowable source; the love of humanity, whether itbe humanity as existing, or when absorbed by death into the general mass, is perpetually generating itself. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Then it must produce itself from what was there before;therefore it must be the same love, which keeps on going round and round. 

_Lord Fondleton_. A sort of circular love, in fact. I've often felt it:but I didn't think it right to encourage it. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Lord Fondleton, how can you be so silly? Don't payattention to him, Mr Coldwaite. I confess I still don't see how you canget a higher love out of humanity than humanity has already got in it, unless you are to look to some other source for it. 

_Coldwaite_. Why, mayn't it evolve from itself?

_Germsell_. How can it evolve without a propulsive force behind it? Thething is too palpable an absurdity to need argument. You can no more fixlimits to the origin of force than you can destroy its persistency. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside_]. That seems to me one of those sort of thingsno fellow can understand. 

_Germsell_. All you can say of it is that it is a conditioned effect ofan unconditioned cause. That no idea or feeling arises, save as a resultof some physical force expended in producing it, is fast becoming acommonplace of science; and whoever duly weighs the evidence will seethat nothing but an overwhelming bias in favour of a preconceived theorycan explain its non-acceptance. I think my friend Mr Herbert Spencer hasdemonstrated this conclusively. 

_Coldwaite_. Pardon me; do I understand you to say that the mentalprocess which enabled Mr Spencer to elaborate his system of philosophy, or that the profound emotion which finds its expression in a love forhumanity, are the result of physical force alone?

_Germsell_. He says so himself, and he ought to know. His whole systemof philosophy is nothing more nor less than the result of the liberationof certain forces produced by chemical action in the brain. 

_Drygull_. Then, if I understand you rightly, if the chemical changeswhich have been taking place for some years past in his brain hadliberated a different set of forces, we should have had altogether adifferent philosophy. 

_Germsell_. The chemical changes would in that case have been different. 

_Drygull_. But the changes must be produced by forces acting on them. 

_Germsell_. Exactly: a force which has its source in the Unknowableproduces a certain chemical action in the brain by which it becomesconverted into thought or emotion, into love or philosophy, into art orreligion, as the case may be: what the nature of that love or philosophy, or art or religion, may be, must depend entirely on the nature of thechemical change. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. I feel the most delightfulchemical changes taking place now in my brain, dear Mrs Gloring. May Iexplain to you the exquisite nature of the forces that are beingliberated, and which produce emotions of the most tender character. 

_Lady Fritterly_ [_sharply_]. What are you saying, Lord Fondleton?

_Lord Fondleton_. Ahem--I was saying--ahem--I was saying that we shallbe having some Yankee inventing steam thinking-mills and galvanic loving-batteries soon. What a lot of wear and tear it would save! I should goabout covered with a number of electric love-wires for the force to playupon. 

_Fussle_. I think this matter wants clearing up, Mr Germsell. Why don'tyou write a book on mental and emotional physics?

_Mr Rollestone_. I would venture with great diffidence to remark thatthe confusion seems to me to arise from the limit we attach to themeaning of the word employed. It may be quite true that no idea oremotion can exist except as the result of physical force; but it is alsotrue that its effect must be conditioned on the quality of the force. There is as wide a difference between the physical forces operant in thebrain, and which give rise to ideas, and those which move a steam-engine, as there is between mind and matter as popularly defined. Both, as MrGermsell will admit, are conditioned manifestations of force; but the onecontains a vital element in its dynamism which the other does not. Youmay apply as much physical force by means of a galvanic battery to a deadbrain as you please, but you can't strike an idea out of it; and thisvital force, while it is "conditioned force, " like light and heat, differs in its mode of manifestation from every other manifestation offorce, even more than they do from each other, in that it possesses apotency inherent to it, which they have not, and this potency it is whichcreates emotion and generates ideas. The fallacy which underlies thewhole of this system of philosophy is contained in the assumption thatthere is only one description of physical force in nature. 

_Germsell_. No more there is. Why, Mr Spencer says that the law ofmetamorphosis which holds among the physical forces, holds equallybetween them and the mental forces; but mark you, what is the grandconclusion at which he arrives? I happen to remember the passage: "Howthis metamorphosis takes place; how a force existing, as motion, heat, orlight, can become a mode of consciousness; how it is possible for aerialvibrations to generate the sensation we call sound; or for the forcesliberated by chemical changes in the brain to give rise to emotion, --theseare mysteries which it is impossible to fathom. "

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. What a jolly easy way ofgetting out of a difficulty!

_Drygull_. Of course, if you admit such gross ignorance as to how it ispossible for aerial vibrations "to generate the sensation we call sound, "I don't wonder at your not hearing the tom-tom in the Himalayas we werelistening to just now. If you knew a little more about the astral lawunder which aerial vibrations may be generated, you would not call thingsimpossible which you admit to be unfathomable mysteries. If it is anunfathomable mystery how a sound is projected a mile, why do you refuseto admit the possibility of its being projected two, or two hundred, ortwo thousand? Under the laws which govern mysteries, which you say areunfathomable, if the mystery is unfathomable, so is the law, and you haveno right to limit its action. 

_Rollestone_. To come back to the question of a possible distinction inthe essential or inherent qualities of dynamic or physical forces. Thereis nothing in the hypothesis which may not be reasonably assumed andtested by experiment; and before any man has a right to affirm that thereis only one quality of physical force in nature, which, by undergoingtransformation and metamorphosis, shall account for all its phenomena, Ihave a right to ask whether the hypothesis, that there may be another, has been experimentally tested. It would then be time for me to acceptthe conclusion that there is only one, and that it is an unfathomablemystery how this one force should be able to perform all the functionsattributed to it. 

_Germsell_. I admit that the forces called vital are correlates of theforces called physical, if you choose to call that a distinction; buttheir character is conditioned by the state of the brain, and it comes tothe same thing in the end. The seat of emotion as well as of thought isthe brain, and it entirely depends on its chemical constitution, on itscirculation, and on other causes affecting that organ, what you think, and feel, and say, and do. People's characters differ because theirbrains do, not because there is any difference in the vital force whichanimates them. 

_Rollestone_. You might as well say that sounds differ because theiraerial vibrations differ, but those vibrations only differ because theforce makes them differ which is acting upon them. They don't generatetunes, but convey them. And the result, so far as our hearing isconcerned, depends upon what are called the acoustic conditions underwhich the vibrations take place. Just so the brain possesses nogenerating function of its own; it deals with and transmits the ideas andemotions projected upon it according to the organic conditions by whichit may be affected at the time, whether those ideas and emotions areproduced by external stimuli, or apparently, but only apparently, as Ibelieve, owe their origin to genesis in the brain itself. In the onecase the brain is vibrating to the touch of an external force, in theother to one that is internal and unseen, just as the air does when ittransmits sound, whether you see the cause which produces it or not; andthe mystery which remains to be fathomed, but which I do not admit to beunfathomable until somebody tries to fathom it, is the nature of thoseunseen forces. 

_Germsell_. How would you propose to try and fathom it?

_Rollestone_. By experiment: I know of no other way. The forces whichgenerate emotions and ideas must possess a moral quality: the experimentsmust therefore be moral experiments. 

_Germsell_. How do you set to work to experimentalise morally?

_Rollestone_. As the process must of necessity be a purely personal one, carried on, if I may use the expression, in one's own moral organism, Ihave a certain delicacy in attempting to describe it. In fact, LadyFritterly, if you will allow me to say so, as the whole subject which hasbeen under discussion this afternoon is the most profoundly solemn whichcan engage the attention of a human being, I shrink from entering upon itas fully as I would do under other circumstances. I people begin to wanta new religion because it is the fashion to want one, I venture topredict that they will never find it. If they want a new religionbecause they can't come up to the moral standard of the one they havegot, then I would advise them to look rather to that unseen force withinthem, which I have been attempting to describe to Mr Germsell, for thepotency which may enable them to reach it. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Indeed, Mr Rollestone, we are all exceedingly inearnest. I never felt so serious in my life. Of course this London lifemust all seem very frivolous to you; but that we can't help, you know. Wecan't all go away and make moral experiments like you. What we feel is, that we ought all to endeavour as much as possible to introduce a moreserious tone into society. We want to get rid of the selfishness, andthe littlenesses, and the petty ambitions and envyings, and the scandalsthat go on. Don't we, Louisa, dear? And you can't think how grateful Iam to Lord Fondleton for having given me the pleasure of youracquaintance. I hope I may often see you; I am sure you would do us allso much good. You will always find me at home on Sunday afternoons atthis hour. 

_Mrs Allmash_. It is so refreshing to meet any one so full ofinformation and earnestness as you are, in this wicked, jaded London. Please go on, Mr Rollestone; what you were saying was so interesting. Have you really been experimentalising on your own moral organism? Howquite too extraordinary!

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. By Jove! I had no idea oldRollestone could come out in this line. He is a regular dark horse. Ishould never have suspected it. He will be first favourite in Londonthis season, and win in a canter. 

_Coldwaite_. You will excuse me, Mr Rollestone, but I really aminterested, and I really am serious. It was with no idle curiosity thatI was waiting to hear your answer to Mr Germsell's inquiry, as to thenature of the moral experiment necessary to test the character of thisunseen force. 

_Rollestone_. I can only say that any experiment which deals with theaffectional and emotional part of one's nature must be painful in theextreme. There is, indeed, only one motive which would induce one toundergo the trials, sufferings, sacrifices, and ordeals which itinvolves--and that is one in which you will sympathise: it is the hopethat humanity may benefit by the result of one's efforts. Indeed, anylower motive than this would vitiate them. I will venture to assert toMr Germsell, who is so sceptical as to the existence of any other qualityin that force, which he can only fathom so far as to know that it isphysical, that I will put him through a course of experiment which willcause him more acute moral suffering than his brain could bear, unless itwas sustained by a force which, by that experimental process, will revealattributes contained in it not dreamt of in his philosophy. 

_Germsell_. I have no doubt you could strain my mind until it was weakenough to believe anything, even your fantastic theories. Thank you, Iwould rather continue to experiment with my own microscope and forcepsthan let you experiment either upon my affections or my brains. 

_Fussle_ [_aside to_ Mr Rollestone]. You could not make anything of themeven if he consented--the former don't exist, and the latter are mereputty--but I can quite understand your desire to begin _in corpore vili_. 

_Lord Fondleton_ [_aside to_ Mrs Gloring]. Allow me freely to offer youmy affections as peculiarly adapted to experiments of this nature. 

_Rollestone_. It has always struck me as strange that men of science, who don't shrink from testing, for instance, the value of poisons, or thenature of disease, by heroically subjecting their own external organismsto their action, should shrink from experimenting on that essential ifremote vitalising force, which can only be reached by moral experiment, and disorder in which produces not only moral obliquity and mentalalienation, but physical disease as well. 

_Fussle_. Thus a man may die of apoplexy brought on by a fit of passion. Cure his temper, and you lessen the danger of apoplexy; that, I take it, is an illustration of what you mean. 

_Rollestone_. In its most external application it is; the question iswhere his bad temper comes from, and whether, as Mr Germsell wouldmaintain, it is entirely due to his cerebral condition, and not to themoral qualities inherent in the force, which, acting on peculiar cerebralconditions, causes one man's temper to differ from another's. It is notthe liberated force which generates the temper. For that you have to gofarther back; and the reason why research is limited in this direction isnot because it is impossible to go farther back, but because it mustinevitably entail, as I have already said, acute personal suffering. Nor, as these experiments must be purely personal, and involve experiences ofan entirely novel kind, is it possible to discuss them except with thosewho have participated in them. One might as well attempt to describe theemotion of love to a man whose affections had never been called forth. IfI have alluded to them so fully now, it is because they justify me inmaking the assertion, for which I can offer no other proof than they haveafforded to me personally, that a force does exist in nature possessingan inherent spiritual potency--I use the word spiritual for lack of abetter--which is capable of lifting humanity to a higher moral plane ofdaily living and acting than that which it has hitherto attained. But Ifear I am trespassing on your patience in having said thus much. 

_Lady Fritterly_. Oh no, Mr Rollestone; please go on. There issomething so delightfully fresh and original in all you are saying, Ican't tell you how much you interest me. 

_Germsell_ [_aside_]. I know a milkmaid quite as fresh and rather moreoriginal. [_Aloud_, _looking at his watch_. ] Bless me! it is past six, and I have an appointment at the club at six. So sorry to tear myselfaway, dear Lady Fritterly. I can't tell you how I have enjoyed theintellectual treat you have provided for me. 

_Lady Fritterly_. I thank you so much for coming. I hope you will oftenlook in on our Sundays. I think, you know, that these littleconversations are so very improving. 

_Germsell_. You may rely upon me; it is impossible to imagine anythingmore interesting. [_Mutters as he leaves the room_. ] No, LadyFritterly, this is the last time I enter this house, except perhaps todinner. You don't catch me again making one of your Sunday afternooncollection of bores and idiots. What an insufferable prig thatRollestone is!

_Fussle_ [_aside to_ Drygull]. Thank heaven, that pompous nuisance hastaken himself off!

_Drygull_ [_aside to_ Fussle]. I don't know which I dislike most--thePharisee of science or the Pharisee of religion. 

_Rollestone_. If, then, you admit that the human organism not onlycannot generate force, but that the emotions which control the body arein their turn generated by a force which is behind it, and that thisforce is dependent for its manifestation on its own special conditions, as well as on those of its transmitting organic medium, I venture toassert that experiment in the direction I have suggested will prove toour consciousness that the moral or spiritual quality of the originalinvading force is a pure one, and that the degree of its pollution in thehuman frame is the effect of inherited and other organic conditions; andthe question which presents itself to the experimentalist is, whether byan effort of the will this same force may not be evoked to change andpurify those conditions. Indeed the very effort is in itself aninvocation, and if made unflinchingly, will not fail to meet with aresponse. Much that has heretofore been to earnest seekers unknowablewill become knowable, and a love, Mr Coldwaite, higher, if that bepossible, than the love of humanity, yet correlative with and inseparablefrom it, will be found pressing with an irresistible potency into thosevacant spaces of the human heart, which have from all time yearned for acloser contact with the Great Source of all love and of all force. It isin this attempt to sever the love of humanity from its Author, that thePositivist philosophy has failed: it is the worship of a husk without thekernel, of a body without the soul; and hence it will never satisfy thehuman aspiration. That aspiration is ever the same; it needs, if youwill allow me to say so, Lady Fritterly, no new religion to satisfy itsdemands. If the world is of late beginning to feel dissatisfied withChristianity, it is not because the moral standard which that religionproposes is not sufficiently lofty for its requirements, but because, after eighteen hundred years of effort, its professors have altogetherfailed to reach that standard. Christianity seems a failure becauseChristians have failed--have failed to understand its application toeveryday life, have failed to embody it in practice, and have sought anescape from the apparent impossibility of doing so, by smothering it withdogmas, and diverting its scope from this world to the next. It will betime to look for a new religion, when we have succeeded in the literalapplication of the ethics of the one we have got to the social andeconomic problems of daily life. It is not by any intellectual effort orscientific process that the discovery will be made of how this is to bedone, but by the introduction into the organism of new and unsuspectedpotencies of moral force which have hitherto lain dormant in nature, waiting for the great invocation of wearied and distressed humanity. There can be no stronger evidence of the approach of this new force, destined to make the ethics of Christianity a practical social standard, than the growing demand of society for a new religion. It is theinarticulate utterance of the quickened human aspiration, in itself aproof that these new potencies are already stirring the dry bones ofChristendom, and a sure earnest that their coming in answer to thataspiration will not be long delayed. 

_Drygull_. Of course, I entirely disagree with you as to any suchnecessity in regard to the moral requirements of the world, existing. Youmust have met, in the course of your travels, that more enlightened andinitiated class of Buddhists, with whom I sympathise, who are quiteindifferent to considerations of this nature. 

_Rollestone_. And who were too much occupied with their subjectiveprospects in Nirvana, to be affected by the needs of terrestrialhumanity. 

_Drygull_. Quite so. 

_Mrs Allmash_. And, Mr Allyside, I am afraid you are equallyindifferent. 

_Ali Seyyid_. I am certainly not indifferent to the discovery of anyforce latent in Christendom which may check the force of its cupidity, and put a stop to the _exploitation_ and subjugation of Eastern countriesfor the sake of advancing its own material interests, under the speciouspretext of introducing the blessings of civilisation. 

_Coldwaite_. You have certainly presented the matter in a light which isaltogether new to me, Mr Rollestone, and upon which, therefore, I am notnow prepared to express an opinion. I should like to discuss the subjectwith you further privately. 

_Rollestone_. It is a subject which should never be discussed exceptprivately. 

_Mrs Allmash_. Now, I should say, Mr Rollestone, on the contrary, thatit was just a subject you ought to write a book about. You would have somuch to tell, --all your personal experiments, you know; now do. 

_Fussle_. Take my advice, Mr Rollestone, and don't. You would have veryfew readers, and those who read you would only sneer at what they wouldcall your crude ideas; and indeed, you will excuse me for saying so, butI am not sure that they would not be right. 

_Lord Fondleton_. I quite disagree with you, Mr Fussle. If Rollestonewould write a book which would put a stop to this "religion of thefuture" business, he would earn the gratitude of society. Do you know, Iam getting rather bored with it. 

_Fussle_. Not if he introduced instead a latent force, which shouldoverturn all existing institutions, and revolutionise society--which itwould inevitably have to do if we were all coerced by it into adoptingliterally the ethics of Christianity, instead of merely professing them. Why, the "Sermon on the Mount" alone, practised to the letter, wouldproduce a general destruction. Church and State, and the whole economicsystem upon which society is based, would melt away before it like aniceberg under a tropical sun. I don't mind discussing the religion ofthe future as a subject of interesting speculation; but, depend upon it, we had better let well alone. It seems to me that we--at least those ofus who are well off--have nothing to complain of. Let us trust to thesilent forces of evolution. See how much they have lately done for us inthe matter of art. What can be pleasanter than this gentle process ofaesthetic development which our higher faculties are undergoing? Withdue deference to Mr Rollestone, I think we shall be far better employedin cultivating our taste, than in probing our own organisms in the hopeof discovering forces which may enable us to apply a perfectlyunpractical system of morality, to a society which has every reason to besatisfied with the normal progress it is making. 

_Mrs Gloring_. Indeed, Mr Rollestone, I agree with you a great deal morethan with Mr Fussle. I should like to call out a higher moral force inmyself--but I should never have the courage to undergo all the ordealsyou say it would involve; I am too weak to try. 

_Lord Fondleton_. Of course you are, --don't! You are much nicer as youare. Why, Rollestone, you would make all the women detestable if youcould have your way. 

_Rollestone_. I don't think there is any immediate cause for alarm onthat score. 

_Mrs Allmash_ [_rising_]. Dearest Augusta, I am afraid I must run away:thank you _so_ much, for _such_ a treat. [_All rise_] Mrs Gloring, wehave all been so deeply interested, that we have scarcely been able toexchange a word, but I hope we shall see a great deal of each other thisyear. I have a few people coming to me to-morrow evening; do you thinkyou can spare a moment from your numerous engagements? Lady Fritterlyand Lord Fondleton are coming; and perhaps, Mr Drygull, you will come, and bring Mr Allyside. Mr Fussle, I know it is useless to expect you;and I cannot venture to ask Mr Rollestone to anything so frivolous. Butperhaps you will dine with me on Thursday--you will meet some congenialspirits. 

_Rollestone_. Thank you, but I fear it will be impossible, as I leaveLondon to-morrow. Good-bye, Lady Fritterly. Forgive me, an utterstranger, for having so far obtruded my experiences upon you, and forventuring finally to suggest that it is in our own hearts that we shouldsearch for the religion that we need; for is it not written, "The kingdomof heaven is within you"?

THE BRIGAND'S BRIDE: A TALE OF SOUTHERN ITALY. 

The Italian peninsula during the years 1859-60-61 offered a particularlytempting field for adventure to ardent spirits in search of excitement;and, attracted partly by my sympathy with the popular movement, andpartly by that simple desire, which gives so much zest to the life ofyouth, of risking it on all possible occasions, I had taken an activepart, chiefly as an officious spectator, in all the principal events ofthose stirring years. It was in the spring of 1862 that I found mattersbeginning to settle down to a degree that threatened monotony; and withthe termination of the winter gaieties at Naples and the close of the SanCarlo, I seriously bethought me of accepting the offer of a naval friendwho was about to engage in blockade-running, and offered to land me inthe Confederate States, when a recrudescence of activity on the part ofthe brigand bands in Calabria induced me to turn my attention in thatdirection. The first question I had to consider was, whether I shouldenjoy myself most by joining the brigands, or the troops which wereengaged in suppressing them. As the former aspired to a politicalcharacter, and called themselves patriotic bands fighting for theirChurch, their country, and their King--the refugee monarch of Naples--onecould espouse their cause without exactly laying one's self open to thecharge of being a bandit; but it was notorious in point of fact that thebands cared for neither the Pope nor the exiled King nor their annexedcountry, but committed the most abominable atrocities in the names of allthe three, for the simple purpose of filling their pockets. I foresawnot only extreme difficulty in being accepted as a member of thefraternity, more especially as I had hitherto been identified with theGaribaldians; but also the probability of finding myself compromised byacts from which my conscience would revolt, and for which my life wouldin all likelihood pay the forfeit. On the other hand, I could think ofno friend among the officers of the Bersaglieri and cavalry regiments, then engaged in brigand-hunting in the Capitanata and Basilicata, to whomI could apply for an invitation to join them. 

Under these circumstances, I determined to trust to the chapter ofaccidents; and armed with a knapsack, a sketch-book, and an air-gun, tookmy seat one morning in the Foggia diligence, with the vague idea ofgetting as near the scene of operations as possible, and seeing whatwould turn up. The air-gun was not so much a weapon of offence ordefence as a means of introduction to the inhabitants. It had theinnocent appearance of rather a thick walking-cane, with a little brasstrigger projecting; and in the afternoon I would join the group sittingin front of the chemist's, which, for some reason or other, is generallya sort of open-air club in a small Neapolitan town, or stroll into thesingle modest _cafe_ of which it might possibly boast, and toyabstractedly with the trigger. This, together with my personalappearance--for do what I would, I could never make myself look like aNeapolitan--would be certain to attract attention, and some one bolderthan the rest would make himself the spokesman, and politely ask mewhether the cane in my hand was an umbrella or a fishing-rod; on which Iwould amiably reply that it was a gun, and that I should have muchpleasure in exhibiting my skill and the method of its operation to theassembled company. Then the whole party would follow me to an openspace, and I would call for a pack of cards, and possibly--for I was agood shot in those days--pink the ace of hearts at fifteen paces. At anyrate my performances usually called forth plaudits, and this involved afurther interchange of compliments and explanations, and the productionof my sketch-book, which soon procured me the acquaintance of some ladiesand an invitation as an English artist, to the house of some respectablecitizen. 

So it happened that, getting out of the diligence before it reachedFoggia, I struck south, and wandered for some days from one little townto another, being always hospitably entertained, whether there happenedto be an _albergo_ or not, at private houses, seeing in this way more ofthe manners and customs of the inhabitants than would have been otherwisepossible, gaining much information as to the haunts of the brigands, thewhereabouts of the troops, and hearing much local gossip generally. Theignorance of the most respectable classes at this period was astounding;it has doubtless all changed since. I have been at a town of 2000inhabitants, not one of whom took in a newspaper: the whole population, therefore, was in as profound ignorance of what was transpiring in therest of the world as if they had been in Novaia Zemlia. I have stayedwith a mayor who did not know that England was an island; I have been theguest of a citizen who had never heard of Scotland, and to whom, therefore, my nationality was an enigma: but I never met any one--I meanof this same class--who had not heard of Palmerston. He was a mysteriouspersonage, execrated by the "blacks" and adored by the "reds. " And Ishone with a reflected lustre as the citizen of a country of which he wasthe Prime Minister. As a consequence, we had political discussions, which were protracted far into the night, for the principal meal of thetwenty-four hours was a 10 o'clock P. M. Supper, at which, after theinevitable macaroni, were many unwholesome dishes, such as salads made ofthistles, cows' udders, and other delicacies, which deprived one of alldesire for sleep. Notwithstanding which, we rose early, my hostess andthe ladies of the establishment appearing in the early part of the day inthe most extreme deshabille. Indeed, on one occasion when I was firstintroduced into the family of a respectable citizen, and shown into mybedroom, I mistook one of two females who were making the bed for theservant, and was surprised to see her hand a little douceur I gave her asan earnest of attention on her part, to the other with a smile. She soonafterwards went to bed: we all did, from 11 A. M. Till about 3 P. M. , atwhich hour I was horrified to meet her arrayed in silks and satins, andto find that she was the wife of my host. She kindly took me a drivewith her in a carriage and pair, and with a coachman in livery. 

It was by this simple means, and by thus imposing myself upon thehospitality of these unsophisticated people, that I worked my way by slowdegrees, chiefly on foot, into the part of the country I desired tovisit; and I trust that I in a measure repaid them for it by the storesof information which I imparted to them, and of which they stood much inneed, and by little sketches of their homes and the surrounding scenery, with which I presented them. I was, indeed, dependent in some measurefor hospitality of this description, as I had taken no money with me, partly because, to tell the truth, I had scarcely got any, and partlybecause I was afraid of being robbed by brigands of the little I had. Itherefore eschewed the character of a _milordo Inglese_; but I neversucceeded in dispelling all suspicion that I might not be a nephew of theQueen, or at least a very near relative of "Palmerston" in disguise. Itwas so natural, seeing what a deep interest both her Majesty and thePrime Minister took in Italy, that they should send some one _incognito_whom they could trust to tell them all about it. 

Meantime, I was not surprised, when I came to know the disposition of theinhabitants, at the success of brigandage. It has never been my fortunebefore or since to live among such a timid population. One day at alarge town a leading landed proprietor received notice that if he did notpay a certain sum in black-mail, --I forget at this distance of time theexact amount, --his farm or _masseria_ would be robbed. This farm, whichwas in fact a handsome country-house, was distant about ten miles fromthe town. He therefore made an appeal to the citizens that they shouldarm themselves, and help him to defend his property, as he had determinednot to pay, and had taken steps to be informed as to the exact date whenthe attack was to be made in default of payment. More than 300 citizensenrolled themselves as willing to turn out in arms. On the day precedingthe attack by the brigands, a rendezvous was given to these 300 on thegreat square for five in the morning, and thither I accordingly repaired, unable, however, to induce my host to accompany me, although he hadsigned as a volunteer. On reaching the rendezvous, I found the landedproprietor and a friend who was living with him, and about ten minutesafterwards two other volunteers strolled up. Five was all we couldmuster out of 300. It was manifestly useless to attempt anything with sosmall a force, and no arguments could induce any of the others to turnout: so the unhappy gentleman had the satisfaction of knowing that thebrigands had punctually pillaged his place, carrying off all his livestock on the very day and at the very hour they said they would. As forthe inhabitants venturing any distance from town, except under militaryescort, such a thing was unknown, and all communication with Naples wasfor some time virtually intercepted. I was regarded as a sort ofmonomaniac of recklessness, because I ventured on a solitary walk of amile or two in search of a sketch, --an act of no great audacity on mypart, for I had walked through various parts of the country withoutseeing a brigand, and found it difficult to realise that there was anyactual danger in strolling a mile from a moderately large town. 

Emboldened by impunity, I was tempted one day to follow up a mostromantic glen in search of a sketch, when I came upon a remarkablyhandsome peasant girl, driving a donkey before her loaded with wood. Mysudden appearance on the narrow path made the animal shy against aprojecting piece of rock, off which he rebounded to the edge of the path, which, giving way, precipitated him and his load down the ravine. He wasbrought up unhurt against a bush some twenty feet below, the fagots ofwood being scattered in his descent in all directions. For a moment thegirl's large fierce eyes flashed upon me with anger; but the impetuositywith which I went headlong after the donkey, with a view of repairing myerror, and the absurd attempts I made to reverse the position of hisfeet, which were in the air, converted her indignation into a hearty fitof laughter, as, seeing that the animal was apparently uninjured, shescrambled down to my assistance. By our united efforts we at lastsucceeded in hoisting the donkey up to the path, and then I collected thewood and helped her to load it again--an operation which involved afrequent meeting of hands, and of the eyes, which had now lost theferocity that had startled me at first, and seemed getting more soft andbeaming every time I glanced at them, till at last, producing my sketch-book, I ventured to remark, "Ah, signorina, what a picture you wouldmake! Now that the ass is loaded, let me draw you before we part, that Imay carry away the recollection of the loveliest woman I have seen. "

"First draw the donkey, " she replied, "that I may carry away arecollection of the _galantuomo_ who first upset him over the bank, andthen helped me to load him. "

Smiling at this ambiguous compliment, I gave her the sketch she desired, and was about to claim my reward, when she abruptly remarked--

"There is not time now; it is getting late, and I must not linger, as Ihave still an hour to go before reaching home. How is it that you arenot afraid to be wandering in this solitary glen by yourself? Do you notknow the risks?"

"I have heard of them, but I do not believe in them, " I said; "besides, Ishould be poor plunder for robbers. "

"But you have friends, who would pay to ransom you, I suppose, if youwere captured?"

"My life is not worth a hundred _scudi_ to any of them, " I replied, laughing; "but I am willing to forego the pleasure of drawing you now, _bellissima_, if you will tell me where you live, and let me come andpaint you there at my leisure. "

"You're a brave one, " she said, with a little laugh; "there is notanother man in all Ascoli who would dare to pay me a visit without anescort of twenty soldiers. But I am too grateful for your amiability tolet you run such a risk. _Addio_, Signer Inglese. There are manyreasons why I can't let you draw my picture, but I am not ungrateful, see!"--and she offered me her cheek, on which I instantly imprinted achaste and fraternal salute. 

"Don't think that you've seen the last of me, _carissima_, " I called out, as she turned away. "I shall live on the memory of that kiss till I havean opportunity of repeating it. "

And as I watched her retreating figure with an artist's eye, I was struckwith its grace and suppleness, combined, as I had observed while she washelping me to load the donkey, with an unusual degree of muscularstrength for a woman. 

The spot at which this episode had taken place was so romantic, that Idetermined to make a sketch of it, and the shades of evening were closingin so fast that they warned me to hurry if I would reach the town beforedark. I had just finished it, and was stooping to pick up my air-gun, when I heard a sudden rush, and before I had time to look up, I wasthrown violently forward on my face, and found myself struggling in theembrace of a powerful grasp, from which I had nearly succeeded in freeingmyself, when the arms which were clasping me were reinforced by severalmore pair, and I felt a rope being passed round my body. 

"All right, signors!" I exclaimed; "I yield to superior numbers. Youneed not pull so hard; let me get up, and I promise to go with youquietly. " And by this time I had turned sufficiently on my back to seethat four men were engaged in tying me up. 

"Tie his elbows together, and let him get up, " said one; "he is notarmed. Here, Giuseppe, carry his stick and paint-box, while I feel hispockets. _Corpo di Baccho_! twelve _bajocchi_, " he exclaimed, producingthose copper coins with an air of profound disgust. "It is to be hopedhe is worth more to his friends. Now, young man, trudge, and rememberthat the first sign you make of attempting to run away, means fourbullets through you. "

As I did not anticipate any real danger, and as a prolonged detention wasa matter of no consequence to a man without an occupation, I steppedforward with a light heart, rather pleased than otherwise withanticipations of the brigand's cave, and turning over in my mind whetheror not I should propose to join the band. 

We had walked an hour, and it had become dark, when we turned off theroad, up a narrow path that led between rocky sides to a glade, at theextremity of which, under an overhanging ledge, was a small cottage, withwhat seemed to be a patch of garden in front. 

"Ho! Anita!" called out the man who appeared to be the leader of theband; "open! We have brought a friend to supper, who will require anight's lodgings. "

An old woman with a light appeared, and over her shoulder, to my delight, I saw the face I had asked to be allowed to paint so shortly before. Iwas about to recognise her with an exclamation, when I saw a hurriedmotion of her finger to her lip, which looked a natural gesture to thecasual observer, but which I construed into a sign of prudence. 

"Where did you pick him up, Croppo?" she asked carelessly. "He ought tobe worth something. "

"Just twelve _bajocchi_, " he answered with a sneering laugh. "Come, _amico mio_, you will have to give us the names of some of your friends. "

"I am tolerably intimate with his Holiness the Pope, and I have a bowingacquaintance with the King of Naples, whom may God speedily restore tohis own, " I replied in a light and airy fashion, which seemed exceedinglyto exasperate the man called Croppo. 

"Oh yes, we know all about that; we never catch a man who does notprofess to be a _Nero_ of the deepest dye in order to conciliate oursympathies. It is just as well that you should understand, my friend, that all are fish who come into our net. The money of the Pope's friendsis quite as good as the money of Garibaldi's. You need not hope to putus off with your Italian friends of any colour: what we want is Englishgold--good solid English gold, and plenty of it. "

"Ah, " said I, with a laugh, "if you did but know, my friend, how long Ihave wanted it too. If you could only suggest an Englishman who wouldpay you for my life, I would write to him immediately, and we would gohalves in the ransom. Hold!" I said, a bright idea suddenly striking me;"suppose I were to write to my Government--how would that do?"

Croppo was evidently puzzled: my cheerful and unembarrassed mannerapparently perplexed him. He had a suspicion that I was even capable ofthe audacity of making a fool of him, and yet that proposition about theGovernment rather staggered him. There might be something in it. 

"Don't you think, " he remarked grimly, "it would add to the effect ofyour communication if you were to enclose your own ears in your letter? Ican easily supply them; and if you are not a little more guarded in yourspeech, you may possibly have to add your tongue. "

"It would not have the slightest effect, " I replied, paying no heed tothis threat; "you don't know Palmerston as I do. If you wish to getanything out of him you must be excessively civil. What does he careabout my ears?" And I laughed with such scornful contempt that Croppothis time felt that he had made a fool of himself; and I observed thelovely girl behind, while the corners of her mouth twitched withsuppressed laughter, make a sign of caution. 

"_Per Dio_!" he exclaimed, jumping up with fury, "understand, SignorInglese, that Croppo is not to be trifled with. I have a summary way oftreating disrespect, " and he drew a long and exceedingly sharp-lookingtwo-edged knife. 

"So you would kill the goose"--and I certainly am a goose, Ireflected--"that may lay a golden egg. " But my allusion was lost uponhim, and I saw my charmer touch her forehead significantly, as though toimply to Croppo that I was weak in the upper storey. 

"An imbecile without friends and twelve _bajocchi_ in his pocket, " hemuttered savagely. "Perhaps the night without food will restore hissenses. Come, fool!" and he roughly pushed me into a dark little chamberadjoining. "Here, Valeria, hold the light. "

So Valeria was the name of the heroine of the donkey episode. As sheheld a small oil-lamp aloft, I perceived that the room in which I was tospend the night had more the appearance of a cellar than a chamber; ithad been excavated on two sides from the bank, on the third there was asmall hole about six inches square, apparently communicating with anotherroom, and on the fourth was the door by which I had entered, and whichopened into the kitchen and general living-room of the inhabitants. Therewas a heap of onions running to seed, the fagots of firewood whichValeria had brought that afternoon, and an old cask or two. 

"Won't you give him some kind of a bed?" she asked Croppo. 

"Bah! he can sleep on the onions, " responded that worthy. "If he hadbeen more civil and intelligent he should have had something to eat. Youthree, " he went on, turning to the other men, "sleep in the kitchen, andwatch that the prisoner does not escape. The door has a strong boltbesides. Come, Valeria. "

And the pair disappeared, leaving me in a dense gloom, strongly pervadedby an odour of fungus and decaying onions. Groping into one of thecasks, I found some straw, and spreading it on a piece of plank, Iprepared to pass the night sitting with my back to the driest piece ofwall I could find, which happened to be immediately under the airhole, afortunate circumstance, as the closeness was often stifling. I hadprobably been dozing for some time in a sitting position, when I feltsomething tickle the top of my head. The idea that it might be a largespider caused me to start, when stretching up my hand, it came in contactwith what seemed to be a rag, which I had not observed. Gettingcarefully up, I perceived a faint light gleaming through the aperture, and then saw that a hand was protruded through it, apparently waving therag. As I felt instinctively that the hand was Valeria's, I seized thefinger-tips, which was all I could get hold of, and pressed them to mylips. They were quickly drawn away, and then the whisper reached myears--

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes. "

"Then eat this, " and she passed me a tin pannikin full of cold macaroni, which would just go through the opening. 

"Dear Valeria, " I said, with my mouth full, "how good and thoughtful youare!"

"Hush! he'll hear. "

"Who?"

"Croppo. "

"Where is he?"

"Asleep in the bed just behind me. "

"How do you come to be in his bedroom?"

"Because I'm his wife. "

"Oh!" A long pause during which I collapsed upon my straw seat, andswallowed macaroni thoughtfully. As the result of mymeditations--"Valeria _carissima_. "

"Hush! Yes. "

"Can't you get me out of this infernal den?"

"Perhaps, if they all three sleep in the kitchen; at present one isawake. Watch for my signal, and if they all three sleep, I will manageto slip the bolt. Then you must give me time to get back into bed, andwhen you hear me snore you may make the attempt. They are all threesleeping on the floor, so be very careful where you tread; I will alsoleave the front door a little open, so that you can slip through withoutnoise. "

"Dearest Valeria!"

"Hush! Yes. "

"Hand me that cane--it is my fishing-rod, you know--through this hole;you can leave the sketch-book and paint-box under the tree that thedonkey fell against, --I will call for them some day soon. And, Valeria, don't you think we could make our lips meet through this beastly hole?"

"Impossible. There's my hand; heavens! Croppo would murder me if heknew. Now keep quiet till I give the signal. Oh, do let go my hand!"

"Remember, Valeria, _bellissima_, _carissima_, whatever happens, that Ilove you. "

But I don't think she heard this, and I went and sat on the onionsbecause I could see the hole better, and the smell of them kept me awake. 

It was at least two hours after this that the faint light appeared at thehole in the wall, and a hand was pushed through. I rushed at the finger-tips. 

"Here's your fishing-rod, " she said when I had released them, and she hadpassed me my air-gun. "Now be very careful how you tread. There is oneasleep across the door, but you can open it about two feet. Then stepover him; then make for a gleam of moonlight that comes through the crackof the front door, open it very gently and slip out. _Addio, caroInglese_; mind you wait till you hear me snoring. "

Then she lingered, and I heard a sigh. "What is it, sweet Valeria?" andI covered her hand with kisses. 

"I wish Croppo had blue eyes like you. "

This was murmured so softly that I may have been mistaken, but I'm nearlysure that was what she said; then she drew softly away, and two minutesafterwards I heard her snoring. As the first sound issued from herlovely nostrils, I stealthily approached the door, gently pushed it open;stealthily stepped over a space which I trusted cleared the recumbentfigure that I could not see; cleared him; stole gently on for the streakof moonlight; trod squarely on something that seemed like an outstretchedhand, for it gave under my pressure and produced a yell; felt that I mustnow rush for my life; dashed the door open, and down the path with fouryelling ruffians at my heels. I was a pretty good runner, but the moonwas behind a cloud, and the way was rocky, --moreover, there must havebeen a short cut I did not know, for one of my pursuers gained upon mewith unaccountable rapidity--he appeared suddenly within ten yards of myheels. The others were at least a hundred yards behind. I had nothingfor it but to turn round, let him almost run against the muzzle of my air-gun, pull the trigger, and see him fall in his tracks. It was the workof a second, but it checked my pursuers. They had heard no noise, butthey found something that they did not bargain for, and lingered amoment, then they took up the chase with redoubled fury. But I had toogood a start; and where the path joined the main road, instead of turningdown towards the town, as they expected I would, I dodged round in theopposite direction, the uncertain light this time favouring me, and Iheard their footsteps and their curses dying away on the wrong track. Nevertheless I ran on at full speed, and it was not till the day wasdawning that I began to feel safe and relax my efforts. The sun had beenup an hour when I reached a small town, and the little _locanda_ was justopening for the day when I entered it, thankful for a hot cup of coffee, and a dirty little room, with a dirtier bed, where I could sleep off thefatigue and excitement of the night. I was strolling down almost theonly street in the afternoon when I met a couple of carabineers ridinginto it, and shortly after encountered the whole troop, to my greatdelight, in command of an intimate friend whom I had left a month beforein Naples. 

"Ah, _caro mio_!" he exclaimed, when he saw me, "well met. What on earthare you doing here?--looking for those brigands you were so anxious tofind when you left Naples? Considering that you are in the heart oftheir country, you should not have much difficulty in gratifying yourcuriosity. "

"I have had an adventure or two, " I replied carelessly. "Indeed that ispartly the reason you find me here. I was just thinking how I could getsafely back to Ascoli, when your welcome escort appeared; for I supposeyou are going there, and will let me take advantage of it. "

"Only too delighted; and you can tell me your adventures. Let us dinetogether tonight, and I will find you a horse to ride on with us in themorning. "

I am afraid my account of the episode with which I have acquainted thereader was not strictly accurate in all its details, as I did not wish tobring down my military friends on poor Valeria, so I skipped all allusionto her and my detention in her home; merely saying that I had had ascuffle with brigands, and had been fortunate enough to escape undercover of the night. As we passed it next morning I recognised the pathwhich led up to Valeria's cottage, and shortly after observed that youngwoman herself coming up the glen. 

"Holloa!" I said, with great presence of mind as she drew near, "mylovely model, I declare! Just you ride on, old fellow, while I stop andask her when she can come and sit to me again. "

"You artists are sad rogues, --what chances your profession must giveyou!" remarked my companion, as he cast an admiring glance on Valeria, and rode discreetly on. 

"There is nothing to be afraid of, lovely Valeria, " I said in a low tone, as I lingered behind; "be sure I will never betray either you or yourrascally--hem! I mean your excellent Croppo. By the way, was that manmuch hurt that I was obliged to trip up?"

"Hurt! Santa Maria, he is dead, with a bullet through his heart. Cropposays it must have been magic; for he had searched you, and he knew youwere not armed, and he was within a hundred yards of you when poor Pippofell, and he heard no sound. "

"Croppo is not far wrong, " I said, glad of the opportunity thus offeredof imposing on the ignorance and credulity of the natives. "He seemedsurprised that he could not frighten me the other night. Tell him he wasmuch more in my power than I was in his, dear Valeria, " I added, lookingtenderly into her eyes. "I didn't want to alarm you, that was the reasonI let him off so easily; but I may not be so merciful next time. Now, sweetest, that kiss you owe me, and which the wall prevented your givingme the other night. " She held up her face with the innocence of a child, as I stooped from my saddle. 

"I shall never see you again, Signer Inglese, " she said, with a sigh;"for Croppo says it is not safe, after what happened the night beforelast, to stay another hour. Indeed he went off yesterday, leaving meorders to follow to-day; but I went first to put your sketch-book underthe bush where the donkey fell, and where you will find it. "

It took us another minute or two to part after this; and when I hadridden away I turned to look back, and there was Valeria gazing after me. "Positively, " I reflected, "I am over head and ears in love with thegirl, and I believe she is with me. I ought to have nipped my feelingsin the bud when she told me she was his wife; but then he is a brigand, who threatened both my ears and my tongue, to say nothing of my life. Towhat extent is the domestic happiness of such a ruffian to be respected?"and I went on splitting the moral straws suggested by this train ofthought, until I had recovered my sketch-book and overtaken my escort, with whom I rode triumphantly back into Ascoli, where my absence had beenthe cause of much anxiety, and my fate was even then being eagerlydiscussed. My friends with whom I usually sat round the chemist's door, were much exercised by the reserve which I manifested in reply to thefire of cross-examination to which I was subjected for the next few days;and English eccentricity, which was proverbial even in this secludedtown, received a fresh illustration in the light and airy manner withwhich I treated a capture and escape from brigands, which I regarded withsuch indifference that I could not be induced even to condescend todetails. "It was a mere scuffle; there were only four; and, being anEnglishman, I polished them all off with the 'box, '"--and I closed myfist, and struck a scientific attitude of self-defence, branching offinto a learned disquisition on the pugilistic art, which filled myhearers with respect and amazement. From this time forward the sentimentwith which I regarded my air-gun underwent a change. When a friend hadmade me a present of it a year before, I regarded it in the light of atoy, and rather resented the gift as too juvenile. I wonder he did notgive me a kite or a hoop, I mentally reflected. Then I had found ituseful among Italians, who are a trifling people, and like playthings;but now that it had saved my life, and sent a bullet through a man'sheart, I no longer entertained the same feeling of contempt for it. Notagain would I make light of it, --this potent engine of destruction whichhad procured me the character of being a magician. I would hide it fromhuman gaze, and cherish it as a sort of fetish. So I bought a walking-stick and an umbrella, and strapped it up with them, wrapped in my plaid;and when, shortly after, an unexpected remittance from an aunt suppliedme with money enough to buy a horse from one of the officers of myfriend's regiment, which soon after arrived, I accepted their invitationto accompany them on their brigand-hunting expeditions, not one of themknew that I had such a weapon as an air-gun in my possession. 

Our _modus operandi_ on these occasions was as follows: On receivinginformation from some proprietor that the brigands were threatening hisproperty, --it was impossible to get intelligence from the peasantry, forthey were all in league with the brigands; indeed they all took a holidayfrom regular work, and joined a band for a few weeks from time totime, --we proceeded, with a force sufficiently strong to cope with thesupposed strength of the band, to the farm in question. The bands wereall mounted, and averaged from 200 to 400 men each. It was calculatedthat upwards of 2000 men were thus engaged in harrying the country, andthis enabled the _Neri_ to talk of the king's forces engaged inlegitimate warfare against those of Victor Emmanuel. Riding over thevast plains of the Capitanata, we would discern against the sky-outlinethe figure of a solitary horseman. This we knew to be a picket. Thenthere was no time to be lost, and away we would go for him helter-skelteracross the plain; he would instantly gallop in on the main body, probablyoccupying a _masseria_. If they thought they were strong enough, theywould show fight. If not, they would take to their heels in thedirection of the mountains, with us in full cry after them. If they werehardly pressed they would scatter, and we were obliged to do the same, and the result would be that the swiftest horsemen might possibly effecta few captures. It was an exciting species of warfare, partaking a gooddeal more of the character of a hunting-field than of cavalryskirmishing. Sometimes, where the ground was hilly, we had Bersaglieriwith us; and as the brigands took to the mountains, the warfare assumed adifferent character. Sometimes, in default of these active littletroops, we took local volunteers, whom we found a very poor substitute. On more than one occasion when we came upon the brigands in a farm, theythought themselves sufficiently strong to hold it against us, and oncethe cowardice of the volunteers was amusingly illustrated. The band wasestimated at about 200, and we had 100 volunteers and a detachment of 50cavalry. On coming under the fire of the brigands, the cavalry captain, who was in command, ordered the volunteers to charge, intending when theyhad dislodged the enemy to ride him down on the open; but the volunteerofficer did not repeat the word, and stood stock-still, his men allimitating his example. 

"Charge! I say, " shouted the cavalry captain; "why don't you charge? Ibelieve you're afraid!"

"_E vero_, " said the captain of volunteers, shrugging his shoulders. 

"Here, take my horse--you're only fit to be a groom; and you, men, dismount and let these cowards hold your horses, while you followme, "--and jumping from his horse, the gallant fellow, followed by hismen, charged the building, from which a hot fire was playing upon them, sword in hand. In less than a quarter of an hour the brigands werescampering, some on foot and some on horseback, out of thefarm-buildings, followed by a few stray and harmless shots from such ofthe volunteers as had their hands free. We lost three men killed andfive wounded in this little skirmish, and killed six of the brigands, besides making a dozen prisoners. When I say we, I mean my companions;for having no weapon, I had discreetly remained with the volunteers. Thescene of this gallant exploit was on the classic battle-field of Cannae. This captain, who was not the friend I had joined the day after mybrigand adventure, was a most plucky and dashing cavalry officer, and waswell seconded by his men, who were all Piedmontese, and of very differenttemperament from the Neapolitans. On one occasion a band of 250 brigandswaited for us on the top of a small hill, never dreaming that we shouldcharge up it with the odds five to one against us--but we did; and afterfiring a volley at us, which emptied a couple of saddles, they broke andfled when we were about twenty yards from them. Then began one of themost exciting scurries across country it was ever my fortune to beengaged in. The brigands scattered--so did we; and I found myself withtwo troopers in chase of a pair of bandits, one of whom seemed to be thechief of the band. A small stream wound through the plain, which wedashed across. Just beyond was a tributary ditch, which would have beenconsidered a fair jump in the hunting-field: both brigands took it insplendid style. The hindmost was not ten yards ahead of the leadingtrooper, who came a cropper, on which the brigand reined up, fired apistol-shot into the prostrate horse and man, and was off: but the delaycost him dear. The other trooper, who was a little ahead of me, gotsafely over. I followed suit. In another moment he had fired hiscarbine into the brigand's horse, and down they both came by the run. Weinstantly reined up, for I saw there was no chance of overtaking theremaining brigand, and the trooper was in the act of cutting down the manas he struggled to his feet, when to my horror I recognised the lovelyfeatures of--Valeria. 

"Stay, man!" I shouted, throwing myself from my horse; "it's a woman!touch her if you dare!" and then seeing the man's eye gleam withindignation, I added, "Brave soldiers, such as you have proved yourselfto be, do not kill women; though your traducers say you do, do not givethem cause to speak truth. I will be responsible for this woman'ssafety. Here, to make it sure, you had better strap us together. " Ipiqued myself exceedingly on this happy inspiration, whereby I secured anarm-in-arm walk, of a peculiar kind it is true, with Valeria, and indeedmy readiness to sacrifice myself seemed rather to astonish the soldier, who hesitated. However, his comrade, whose horse had been shot in theditch, now came up, and seconded my proposal, as I offered him a mount onmine. 

"How on earth am I to let you escape, dear Valeria?" I whispered, givingher a sort of affectionate nudge: the position of our arms prevented mysqueezing hers, as I could have wished, and the two troopers kept behindus, watching us, I thought, suspiciously. 

"It is quite impossible now--don't attempt it, " she answered; "perhapsthere may be an opportunity later. "

"Was that Croppo who got away?" I asked. "Yes. He could not get hiscowardly men to stand on that hill. "

"What a bother those men are behind, dearest! Let me pretend to scratchmy nose with this hand that is tied to yours, which I can thus bring tomy lips. "

I accomplished this manoeuvre rather neatly, but parties now camestraggling in from other directions, and I was obliged to give upwhispering and become circumspect. They all seemed rather astonished atour group, and the captain laughed heartily as he rode up and called out, "Who have you got tied to you there, _caro mio_?"

"Croppo's wife. I had her tied to me for fear she should escape;besides, she is not bad-looking. "

"What a prize!" he exclaimed. "We have made a tolerable haul thistime, --twenty prisoners in all--among them the priest of the band. Ourcolonel has just arrived, so I am in luck--he will be delighted. See, the prisoners are being brought up to him now: but you had better remountand present yours in a less singular fashion. "

When we reached the colonel we found him examining the priest. Hisbreviary contained various interesting notes, written on some of the fly-leaves. For instance:--

"Administered extreme unction to A---, shot by Croppo's orders: my shareten _scudi_. 

"Ditto, ditto, to R---, hung by Croppo's order; my share two _scudi_. 

"Ditto, ditto, to S---, roasted by Croppo's order, to make him name anagent to bring his ransom: overdone by mistake, and died--so got nothing. 

"Ditto, ditto, to P---, executed by the knife by Croppo's order, fordisobedience. 

"M--- and F---, and D---, three new members, joined to-day: confessedthem, and received the usual fees. "

He was a dark, beetle-browed-looking ruffian, this holy man; and thecolonel, when he had finished examining his book of prayer and crime, tossed it to me, saying, --"There! that will show your friends in Englandthe kind of politicians we make war against. Ha! what have we here? Thisis more serious. " And he unfolded a piece of paper which had beenconcealed in the breast of the priest. "This contains a little valuableinformation, " he added, with a grim smile. "Nobody like priests andwomen for carrying about political secrets, so you may have made avaluable capture, " and he turned to where I stood with Valeria; "let herbe carefully searched. "

Now the colonel was a very pompous man, and the document he had justdiscovered on the priest added to his sense of self-importance. When, therefore, a large, carefully folded paper was produced from theneighbourhood of Valeria's lovely bosom, his eyes sparkled withanticipation. "Ho, ho!" he exclaimed, as he clutched it eagerly, "theplot is thickening!" and he spread out triumphantly, before he hadhimself seen what it was, the exquisitely drawn portrait of a donkey. There was a suppressed titter, which exploded into a shout when thebystanders looked into the colonel's indignant face. I only was affecteddifferently, as my gaze fell upon this touching evidence of dearValeria's love for me, and I glanced at her tenderly. "This has a deepersignificance than you think for, " said the colonel, looking roundangrily. "Croppo's wife does not carefully secrete a drawing like thaton her person for nothing. See, it is done by no common artist. Itmeans something, and must be preserved. "

"It may have a Biblical reference to the state of Italy. You rememberIssachar was likened to an ass between two burdens. In that case itprobably emanated from Rome, " I remarked; but nobody seemed to see thepoint of the allusion, and the observation fell flat. 

That night I dined with the colonel, and after dinner I persuaded him tolet me visit Valeria in prison, as I wished to take the portrait of thewife of the celebrated brigand chief. I thanked my stars that my friendwho had seen her when we met in the glen, was away on duty with hisdetachment, and could not testify to our former acquaintance. My meetingwith Valeria on this occasion was too touching and full of tenderpassages to be of any general interest. Valeria told me that she wasstill a bride; that she had only been married a few months, and that shehad been compelled to become Croppo's wife against her choice, as thebrigand's will was too powerful to be resisted; but that, though he wasjealous and attached to her, he was stern and cruel, and so far fromwinning her love since her marriage, he had rather estranged it by hisfits of passion and ferocity. As may be imagined, the portrait, whichwas really very successful, took some time in execution, the moreespecially as we had to discuss the possibilities of Valeria's escape. 

"We are going to be transferred to-morrow to the prison at Foggia, " shesaid. "If, while we were passing through the market-place, a disturbanceof some sort could be created, as it is market day, and all the countrypeople know me, and are my friends, a rescue might be attempted. I knowhow to arrange for that, only they must see some chance of success. "

A bright thought suddenly struck me; it was suggested by a trick I hadplayed shortly after my arrival in Italy. 

"You know I am something of a magician, Valeria; you have had proof ofthat. If I create a disturbance by magic to-morrow, when you are passingthrough the market-place, you won't stay to wonder what is the cause ofthe confusion, but instantly take advantage of it to escape. "

"Trust me for that, _caro mio_. "

"And if you escape, when shall we meet again?"

"I am known too well now to risk another meeting. I shall be in hidingwith Croppo, where it will be impossible for you to find me, nor while helives could I ever dare to think of leaving him; but I shall never forgetyou"--and she pressed my hands to her lips--"though I shall no longerhave the picture of the donkey to remember you by. "

"See, here's my photograph; that will be better, " said I, feeling alittle annoyed--foolishly, I admit. Then we strained each other to ourrespective hearts, and parted. Now it so happened that my room in the_locanda_ in which I was lodging overlooked the market-place. Here atten o'clock in the morning I posted myself--for that was the hour, as Ihad been careful to ascertain, when the prisoners were to start forFoggia. I opened the window about three inches, and fixed it there: Itook out my gun, put eight balls in it, and looked down upon the square. It was crowded with the country people in their bright-coloured costumes, chaffering over their produce. I looked above them to the tall campanileof the church which filled one side of the square. I receded a step andadjusted my gun on the ledge of the window to my entire satisfaction. Ithen looked down the street in which the prison was situated, and whichdebouched on the square, and awaited events. At ten minutes past ten Isaw the soldiers at the door of the prison form up, and then I knew thatthe twenty prisoners of whom they formed the escort were starting; butthe moment they began to move, I fired at the big bell in the campanile, which responded with a loud clang. All the people in the square lookedup. As the prisoners entered the square, which they had to cross in itswhole breadth, I fired again and again. The bell banged twice, and thepeople began to buzz about. Now, I thought, I must let the old bell haveit. By the time five more balls had struck the bell with a resoundingdin, the whole square was in commotion. A miracle was evidently inprogress, or the campanile was bewitched. People began to run hither andthither; all the soldiers forming the escort gaped open-mouthed at thesteeple as the clangour continued. As soon as the last shot had beenfired, I looked down into the square and saw all this, and I saw that theprisoners were attempting to escape, and in more than one instance hadsucceeded, for the soldiers began to scatter in pursuit, and the countrypeople to form themselves into impeding crowds, as though by accident, but nowhere could I see Valeria. When I was quite sure she had escaped, I went down and joined the crowd. I saw three prisoners captured andbrought back; and when I asked the officer in command how many hadescaped, he said three--Croppo's wife, the priest, and another. 

When I met my cavalry friends at dinner that evening, it was amusing tohear them speculate upon the remarkable occurrence which had, in fact, upset the wits of the whole town. Priests and vergers and sacristans hadvisited the campanile, and one of them had brought away a flattened pieceof lead, which looked as if it might have been a bullet; but thesuggestion that eight bullets could have hit the bell in successionwithout anybody hearing a sound, was treated with ridicule. I believethe bell was subsequently exorcised with holy water. I was afraid toremain with the regiment with my air-gun after this, lest some one shoulddiscover it, and unravel the mystery; besides, I felt a sort of traitorto the brave friends who had so generously offered me their hospitality, so I invented urgent private affairs, which demanded my immediate returnto Naples, and on the morning of my departure found myself embraced byall the officers of the regiment, from the colonel downwards, who, in thefervour of their kisses, thrust sixteen waxed moustache-points against mycheeks. 

About eighteen months after this, I heard of the capture and execution ofCroppo, and I knew that Valeria was free; but I had unexpectedlyinherited a property, and was engaged to be married. I am now a countrygentleman with a large family. My sanctum is stocked with variousmementoes of my youthful adventures, but none awakens in me suchthrilling memories as are excited by the breviary of the brigand priest, and the portrait of the brigand's bride. 

THE SISTERS OF THIBET. 

It is now nearly twenty-seven years ago--long before the TheosophicalSociety was founded, or Esoteric Buddhism was known to exist in the formrecently revealed to us by Mr Sinnett{81}--that I became the _chela_, orpupil, of an adept of Buddhist occultism in Khatmandhu. At that timeEnglishmen, unless attached to the Residency, were not permitted toreside in that picturesque Nepaulese town. Indeed I do not think thatthey are now; but I had had an opportunity during the Indian Mutiny, whenI was attached to the Nepaulese contingent, of forming an intimacy with a"Guru" connected with the force. It was not until our acquaintance hadripened into a warm friendship that I gradually made the discovery thatthis interesting man held views which differed so widely from the popularconception of Buddhism as I had known it in Ceylon--where I had residedfor some years--that my curiosity was roused, --the more especially as hewas in the habit of sinking off gradually, even while I was speaking tohim, into trance-conditions, which would last sometimes for a week, during which time he would remain without food; and upon more than oneoccasion I missed even his material body from my side, undercircumstances which appeared to me at the time unaccountable. TheNepaulese troops were not very often engaged with the rebels during theIndian Mutiny; but when they were, the Guru was always to be seen underthe hottest fire, and it was generally supposed by the army that hisbody, so far from being impervious to bullets, was so pervious to themthat they could pass through it without producing any organicdisturbance. I was not aware of this fact at first; and it was not untilI observed that, while he stood directly in the line of fire, men werekilled immediately behind him, that I ceased to accompany him intoaction, and determined, if possible, to solve a mystery which had begunto stimulate my curiosity to the highest pitch. It is not necessary forme to enter here into the nature of the conversations I had with him onthe most important and vital points affecting universal cosmogony and thehuman race and its destiny. Suffice it to say, that they determined meto sever my connection with the Government of India; to apply privately, through my friend the Guru, to the late Jung Bahadoor for permission toreside in Nepaul; and finally, in the garb of an Oriental, to take up myresidence in Khatmandhu, unknown to the British authorities. I shouldnot now venture on this record of my experiences, or enter upon therevelation of a phase hitherto unknown and unsuspected, of that esotericscience which has, until now, been jealously guarded as a preciousheritage belonging exclusively to regularly initiated members ofmysteriously organised associations, had not Mr Sinnett, with the consentof a distinguished member of the Thibetan brotherhood, and, in fact, athis dictation, let, if I may venture to use so profane an expression inconnection with such a sacred subject, "the cat out of the bag. " Since, however, the _arhats_, or illuminati, of the East, seem to have arrivedat the conclusion that the Western mind is at last sufficiently preparedand advanced in spiritual knowledge to be capable of assimilating theoccult doctrines of Esoteric Buddhism, and have allowed their pupil toburst them upon a thoughtless and frivolous society with the suddennessof a bomb-shell, I feel released from the obligations to secrecy by whichI have hitherto felt bound, and will proceed to unfold a few arcana of afar more extraordinary character than any which are to be found even inthe pages of the 'Theosophist' or of 'Esoteric Buddhism. '

Owing to certain conditions connected with my _linga sharira_, or "astralbody"--which it would be difficult for me to explain to those who are notto some extent initiated--I passed through the various degrees of _chela_-ship with remarkable rapidity. When I say that in less than fifteenyears of spiritual absorption and profound contemplation of esotericmysteries I became a _mahatma_, or adept, some idea may be formed by_chelas_ who are now treading that path of severe ordeal, of the rapidityof my progress: indeed, such extraordinary faculty did I manifest, thatat one time the Guru, my master, was inclined to think that I was one ofthose exceptional cases which recur from time to time, where a child-bodyis selected as the human tenement of a reincarnated adept; and thatthough belonging by rights to the fourth round, I was actually born intothe fifth round of the human race in the planetary chain. "The adept, "says an occult aphorism, "becomes; he is not made. " That was exactly mycase. I attribute it principally to an overweening confidence in myself, and to a blind faith in others. As Mr Sinnett very properly remarks--

 "Very much further than people generally imagine, will mere confidence carry the occult neophyte. How many European readers who would be quite incredulous if told of some results which occult _chelas_ in the most incipient stages of their training have to accomplish by sheer force of confidence, hear constantly in church, nevertheless, the familiar Biblical assurances of the power which resides in faith, and let the words pass by like the wind, leaving no impression!"

It is true that I had some reason for this confidence--which arose fromthe fact that prior to my initiation into Buddhist mysteries, and beforeI left England, I had developed, under the spiritual craze which was thenprevalent in society, a remarkable faculty of clairvoyance. This gave methe power not merely of diagnosing the physical and moral conditions ofmy friends and acquaintances, and of prescribing for them when necessary, but of seeing what was happening in other parts of the world; hence myorganism was peculiarly favourable for initiation into occult mysteries, and naturally--or rather spiritually--prepared for that method in theregular course of occult training by which adepts impart instruction totheir pupils. 

 "They awaken, " as we are most accurately informed by Mr Sinnett, "the dormant sense in the pupil, and through this they imbue his mind with a knowledge that such and such a doctrine is the real truth. The whole scheme of evolution infiltrates into the regular _chela's_ mind, by reason of the fact that he is made to see the process taking place by clairvoyant vision. There are no words used in his instruction at all. And adepts themselves, to whom the facts and processes of nature are as familiar as our five fingers to us, find it difficult to explain in a treatise which they cannot illustrate for us, by producing mental pictures in our dormant sixth sense, the complex anatomy of the planetary system. "

I have always felt--and my conviction on the subject has led to somepainful discussions between myself and some of my _mahatma_ brothers--thatthe extreme facility with which I was enabled to perceive at a glance"the complex anatomy of the planetary system, " and the rapid developmentof my "dormant sixth sense, " was due mainly to the fact that I wasnothing more nor less than what spiritualists call a highly sensitivemedium. Meantime this premature development of my sixth sense forced meright up through the obstacles which usually impede such an operation inthe case of a fourth-round man, into that stage of evolution which awaitsthe rest of humanity--or rather, so much of humanity as may reach it inthe ordinary course of nature--in the latter part of the fifth round. Imerely mention this to give confidence to my readers, as I am about todescribe a moral cataclysm which subsequently took place in my sixthsense, which would be of no importance in the case of an ordinary_chela_, but which was attended with the highest significance asoccurring to a _mahatma_ who had already attained the highest grade inthe mystic brotherhood. It was not to be wondered at that when I arrivedat this advanced condition, Khatmandhu, though a pleasant town, was notaltogether a convenient residence for an occultist of my eminence. Inthe first place, the streets were infested with _dugpas_, or red-caps, aheretical sect, some members of which have _arhat_ pretensions of a veryhigh order--indeed I am ready to admit that I have met with Shammaradepts, who, so far as supernatural powers were concerned, were second tonone among ourselves. But this was only the result of that necromancywhich Buddha in his sixth incarnation denounced in the person of Tsong-kha-pa, the great reformer. They even deny the spiritual supremacy ofthe Dalai Lama at Lhassa, and own allegiance to an impostor who lives atthe monastery of Sakia Djong. 

The presence of these men, and the presumption of their adepts, whomaintained that through subjective or clairvoyant conditions, which theyasserted were higher than ours, they had attained a more exalted degreeof illumination which revealed a different cosmogony from that which hasbeen handed down to us through countless generations of adepts, were aperpetual annoyance to me; but perhaps not greater than the proximity ofthe English Resident and the officers attached to him, the impureexhalations from whose _rupas_, or material bodies, infected as they werewith magnetic elements drawn from Western civilisation, whenever I metthem, used to send me to bed for a week. I therefore strongly felt thenecessity of withdrawal to that isolated and guarded region where themost advanced adepts can pursue their contemplative existence withoutfear of interruption, and prepare their _karma_, or, in other words, themolecules of their fifth principle, for the ineffable bliss ofappropriate development in _devachan_--a place, or rather "state, "somewhat resembling Purgatory with a dash of heaven in it; or even forthe still more exquisite sensation which arises from having no sensationsat all, and which characterises _nirvana_, or a sublime condition ofconscious rest in Omniscience. 

That I am not drawing upon my imagination in alluding to this mysteriousregion, or imposing upon the credulity of my readers, I will support myassertion by the high authority of Mr Sinnett, or rather of his Guru; andhere I may remark incidentally, that after a long experience of Gurus, Ihave never yet met one who would consciously tell a lie. 

 "From time immemorial, " says Mr Sinnett's Guru, "there has been a certain region in Thibet, which to this day is quite unknown to and unapproachable by any but initiated persons, and inaccessible to the ordinary people of the country, as to any others, in which adepts have always congregated. But the country generally was not in Buddha's time, as it has since become, the chosen habitation of the great brotherhood. Much more than they are at present, were the _mahatmas_ in former times distributed throughout the world. 

 "The progress of civilisation engendering the magnetism they find so trying, had, however, by the date with which we are now dealing--the fourteenth century--already given rise to a very general movement towards Thibet on the part of the previously dissociated occultists. Far more widely than was held to be consistent with the safety of mankind was occult knowledge and power then found to be disseminated. To the task of putting it under a rigid system of rule and law did Tsong-kha-pa address himself. "

Of course, before transferring my material body to this region, I wasperfectly familiar with it by reason of the faculty which, as Mr Sinnettvery truly tells us, is common to all adepts, of being able to flit aboutthe world at will in your astral body; and here I would remarkparenthetically, that I shall use the term "astral body" to saveconfusion, though, as Mr Sinnett again properly says, it is not strictlyaccurate under the circumstances. In order to make this clear, I willquote his very lucid observations on the subject:--

 "During the last year or two, while hints and scraps of occult science have been finding their way out into the world, the expression 'astral body' has been applied to a certain semblance of the human form, fully inhabited by its higher principles, which can migrate to any distance from the physical body--projected consciously and with exact intention by a living adept, or unintentionally by the accidental application of certain mental forces to his loosened principles by any person at the moment of death. For ordinary purposes, there is no practical inconvenience in using the expression 'astral body' for the appearance so projected--indeed any more strictly accurate expression, as will be seen directly, would be cumbersome, and we must go on using the phrase in both meanings. No confusion need arise; but strictly speaking, the _linga sharira_, or third principle, is the astral body, and that cannot be sent about as the vehicle of the higher principles. "

As, however, "no confusion need arise" from my describing how I wentabout in my _linga sharira_, I will continue to use it as the term for myvehicle of transportation. Nor need there be any difficulty about mybeing in two places at once. I have the authority of Mr Sinnett's Gurufor this statement, and it is fully confirmed by my own experience. Forwhat says the Guru?--"The individual consciousness, it is argued, cannotbe in two places at once. But first of all, to a certain extent it can. "It is unnecessary for me to add a word to this positive and most correctstatement; but what the Guru has not told us is, that there is a certaindiscomfort attending the process. Whenever I went with my astral body, or _linga sharira_, into the mysterious region of Thibet already alludedto, leaving my _rupa_, or natural body, in Khatmandhu, I was alwaysconscious of a feeling of rawness; while the necessity of looking aftermy _rupa_--of keeping, so to speak, my astral eye upon it, lest someaccident should befall it, which might prevent my getting back to it, andso prematurely terminate my physical or objective existence--was aconstant source of anxiety to me. Some idea of the danger which attendsthis process may be gathered from the risks incidental to a much moredifficult operation which I once attempted, and succeeded, afterincredible effort, in accomplishing; this was the passage of my fifthprinciple, or ego-spirit, into the ineffable condition of _nirvana_. 

 "Let it not be supposed, " says Mr Sinnett, --for it is not his Guru who is now speaking, --"that for any adept such a passage can be lightly undertaken. Only stray hints about the nature of this great mystery have reached me; but, putting these together, I believe I am right in saying that the achievement in question is one which only some of the high initiates are qualified to attempt, which exacts a total suspension of animation in the body for periods of time compared to which the longest cataleptic trances known to ordinary science are insignificant; the protection of the physical frame from natural decay during this period by means which the resources of occult science are strained to accomplish; and withal it is a process involving a double risk to the continued earthly life of the person who undertakes it. One of these risks is the doubt whether, when once _nirvana_ is attained, the ego will be willing to return. That the return will be a terrible effort and sacrifice is certain, and will only be prompted by the most devoted attachment, on the part of the spiritual traveller, to the idea of duty in its purest abstraction. The second great risk is that of allowing the sense of duty to predominate over the temptation to stay--a temptation, be it remembered, that is not weakened by the motive that any conceivable penalty can attach to it. Even then it is always doubtful whether the traveller will be able to return. "

All this is exactly as Mr Sinnett has described it. I shall never forgetthe struggle that I had with my ego when, ignoring "the idea of duty inits purest abstraction, " it refused to abandon the bliss of _nirvana_ forthe troubles of this mundane life; or the anxiety both of my _manas_, orhuman soul, and my _buddhi_, or spiritual soul, lest, after by ourcombined efforts we had overcome our ego, we should not be able to do ourduty by our _rupa_, or natural body, and get back into it. 

Of course, my migrations to the _mahatma_ region of Thibet wereaccompanied by no such difficulty as this--as, to go with your _lingasharira_, or astral body, to another country, is a very different andmuch more simple process than it is to go with your _manas_, or humansoul, into _nirvana_. Still it was a decided relief to find myselfcomfortably installed with my material body, or _rupa_, in the house of aThibetan brother on that sacred soil which has for so many centuriesremained unpolluted by a profane foot. 

Here I passed a tranquil and contemplative existence for some years, broken only by such incidents as my passage into _nirvana_, and disturbedonly by a certain subjective sensation of aching or void, by which I wasoccasionally attacked, and which I was finally compelled to attribute, much to my mortification, to the absence of women. In the whole of thissacred region, the name of which I am compelled to withhold, there wasnot a single female. Everybody in it was given up to contemplation andascetic absorption; and it is well known that profound contemplation, forany length of time, and the presence of the fair sex, are incompatible. Iwas much troubled by this vacuous sensation, which I felt to be in thehighest degree derogatory to my fifth principle, and the secret of whichI discovered, during a trance-condition which lasted for several months, to arise from a subtle magnetism, to which, owing to my peculiar organiccondition, I was especially sensitive, and which penetrated the _mahatma_region from a tract of country almost immediately contiguous to it in theKarakorum Mountains, which was as jealously guarded from foreignintrusion as our own, and which was occupied by the "Thibetan Sisters, " abody of female occultists of whom the Brothers never spoke except interms of loathing and contempt. It is not, therefore, to be wondered atthat no mention is made either of them, or the lovely highland districtthey occupy, in Mr Sinnett's book. The attraction of this femininesphere became at last so overpowering, that I determined to visit it inmy astral body; and now occurred the first of many most remarkableexperiences which were to follow. It is well known to the initiated, though difficult to explain to those who are not, that in a sense spaceceases to exist for the astral body. When you get out of your _rupa_, you are out of space as ordinary persons understand it, though itcontinues to have a certain subjective existence. 

I was in this condition, and travelling rapidly in the desired direction, when I became conscious of the presence of the most exquisitely lovelyfemale astral body which the imagination of man could conceive; and hereI may incidentally remark, that no conception can be formed of the beautyto which woman can attain by those who have only seen her in her_rupa_--or, in other words, in the flesh. Woman's real charm consists inher _linga sharira_--that ethereal duplicate of the physical body whichguides _jiva_, or the second principle, in its work on the physicalparticles, and causes it to build up the shape which these assume in thematerial. Sometimes it makes rather a failure of it, so far as the_rupa_ is concerned, but it always retains its own fascinating contourand deliciously diaphanous composition undisturbed. When my gaze fellupon this most enchanting object, or rather subject--for I was in asubjective condition at the time--I felt all the senses appertaining tomy third principle thrill with emotion; but it seemed impossible--whichwill readily be understood by the initiated--to convey to her any clearidea of the admiration she excited, from the fact that we were neither ofus in natural space. Still the sympathy between our _linga shariras_ wasso intense, that I perceived that I had only to go back for my _rupa_, and travel in it to the region of the sisterhood, to recognise her in her_rupa_ at once. 

Every _chela_ even knows how impossible it is to make love satisfactorilyin nothing but your _linga sharira_. It is quite different after you aredead, and have gone in your fourth principle, or _kama rupa_, which isoften translated "body of desire, " into _devachan_; for, as Mr Sinnettmost correctly remarks, "The purely sensual feelings and tastes of thelate personality will drop off from it in _devachan_; but it does notfollow that nothing is preservable in that state, except feelings andthoughts having a direct reference to religion or spiritual philosophy. On the contrary, all the superior phases, even of sensuous emotion, findtheir appropriate sphere of development in _devachan_. " Until you areobliged to go to _devachan_--which, in ordinary parlance, is the placegood men go to when they die--my advice is, stick to your _rupa_; andindeed it is the instinct of everybody who is not a _mahatma_ to do this. I admit--though in making this confession I am aware that I shall incurthe contempt of all _mahatmas_--that on this occasion I found my _rupa_ adistinct convenience, and was not sorry that it was still in existence. In it I crossed the neutral zone still inhabited by ordinary Thibetans, and after a few days' travel, found myself on the frontiers of "theSisters'" territory. The question which now presented itself was how toget in. To my surprise, I found the entrances guarded not by women, as Iexpected, but by men. These were for the most part young and handsome. 

"So you imagined, " said one, who advanced to meet me with an engagingair, "that you could slip into our territory in your astral body; butyou found that all the entrances _in vacuo_"--I use this word forconvenience--"are as well guarded as those in space. See, here is theSister past whom you attempted to force your way: we look after thephysical frontier, and leave the astral or spiritual to theladies, "--saying which he politely drew back, and the apparition whoseastral form I knew so well, now approached in her substantial _rupa_--infact, she was a good deal stouter than I expected to find her; but I wasagreeably surprised by her complexion, which was much fairer than isusual among Thibetans--indeed her whole type of countenance wasCaucasian, which was not to be wondered at, considering, as I afterwardsdiscovered, that she was by birth a Georgian. She greeted me, in thelanguage common to all Thibetan occultists, as an old acquaintance, andone whose arrival was evidently expected--indeed she pointed laughinglyto a bevy of damsels whom I now saw trooping towards us, some carryinggarlands, some playing upon musical instruments, some dancing in livelymeasures, and singing their songs of welcome as they drew near. ThenUshas--for that was the name (signifying "The Dawn") of the illuminatawhose acquaintance I had first made _in vacuo_--taking me by the hand, led me to them, and said--

"Rejoice, O my sisters, at the long-anticipated arrival of the Western_arhat_, who, in spite of the eminence which he has attained in themysteries of Esoteric Buddhism, and his intimate connection during somany years with the Thibetan fraternity, has yet retained enough of hisoriginal organic conditions to render him, even in the isolation of (hereshe mentioned the region I had come from) susceptible to the higherinfluence of the occult sisterhood. Receive him in your midst as the_chela_ of a new avatar which will be unfolded to him under your tenderguidance. Take him in your arms, O my sisters, and comfort him with thedoctrines of Ila, the Divine, the Beautiful. "

Taking me in their arms, I now found, was a mere formula or figure ofspeech, and consisted only in throwing garlands over me. Still I wasmuch comforted, not merely by the grace and cordiality of their welcome, but by the mention of Ila, whose name will doubtless be familiar to myreaders as occurring in a Sanscrit poem of the age immediately followingthe Vedic period, called the Satapathabrahmana, when Manu was saved fromthe flood, and offered the sacrifice "to be the model of futuregenerations. " By this sacrifice he obtained a daughter named Ila, whobecame supernaturally the mother of humanity, and who, I had always felt, has been treated with too little consideration by the _mahatmas_--indeedher name is not so much as even mentioned in Mr Sinnett's book. Ofcourse it was rather a shock to my spiritual pride, that I, a _mahatma_of eminence myself, should be told that I was to be adopted as a mere_chela_ by these ladies; but I remembered those beautiful lines ofBuddha's--I quote from memory--and I hesitated no longer:--

 "To be long-suffering and meek, To associate with the tranquil, Religious talk at due seasons; This is the greatest blessing. "

"To be long-suffering"--this was a virtue I should probably have asplendid opportunity of displaying under the circumstances, --"and meek";what greater proof of meekness could I give than by becoming the _chela_of women? "To associate with the tranquil. " I should certainly obeythis precept, and select the most tranquil as my associates, and withthem look forward to enjoying "religious talk at due seasons. " Thusfortified by the precepts of the greatest of all teachers, my mind was atonce made up, and, lifting up my voice, I chanted, in the language of theoccult, some beautiful stanzas announcing my acceptance of theirinvitation, which evidently thrilled my hearers with delight. In orderto save unnecessary fatigue, we now transferred ourselves through space, and, in the twinkling of an eye, I found myself in the enchanting abodewhich they called their home, or _dama_. Here a group of young male_chelas_ were in waiting to attend to our wants; and the remarkable factnow struck me, that not only were all the women lovely and the menhandsome, but that no trace of age was visible on any of them. Ushassmiled as she saw what was passing in my mind, and said, without usingany spoken words, for language had already become unnecessary between us, "This is one of the mysteries which will be explained to you when youhave reposed after the fatigues of your journey; in the meantimeAsvin, "--and she pointed out a _chela_ whose name signified"Twilight, "--"will show you to your room. " I would gladly linger, did myspace allow, over the delights of this enchanting region, and themarvellously complete and well-organised system which prevailed in itscuriously composed society. Suffice it to say, that in the fairy-likepavilion which was my home, dwelt twenty-four lovely Sisters and theirtwenty-three _chelas_--I was to make the twenty-fourth--in the mostcomplete and absolute harmony, and that their lives presented the mostcharming combination of active industry, harmless gaiety, and innocentpleasures. By a proper distribution of work and proportionment oflabour, in which all took part, the cultivation of the land, the tendingof the exquisite gardens, with their plashing fountains, fragrantflowers, and inviting arbours, the herding of the cattle, and the heavierpart of various handicrafts, fell upon the men; while the women lookedafter the domestic arrangements--cooked, made or mended and washed the_chelas_' clothes and their own (both men and women were dressedaccording to the purest principles of aesthetic taste), looked after thedairy, and helped the men in the lighter parts of their industries. 

Various inventions, known only to the occult sisterhood by means of theirstudies in the esoteric science of mechanics, contributed to shortenthese labours to an extent which would be scarcely credited by theuninitiated; but some idea of their nature may be formed from the factthat methods of storing and applying electricity, unknown as yet in theWest, have here been in operation for many centuries, while telephones, flying-machines, and many other contrivances still in their infancy withus, are carried to a high pitch of perfection. In a word, what struck meat once as the fundamental difference between this sisterhood and thefraternity of adepts with which I had been associated, was that theformer turned all their occult experiences to practical account in theirdaily life in this world, instead of reserving them solely for thesubjective conditions which are supposed by _mahatmas_ to attachexclusively to another state of existence. 

Owing to these appliances the heavy work of the day was got throughusually in time for a late breakfast, the plates and dishes being washedup and the knives cleaned by a mechanical process scarcely occupying twominutes; and the afternoon was usually devoted to the instruction of_chelas_ in esoteric branches of learning, and their practicalapplication to mundane affairs, until the cool of the evening, whenparties would be made up either for playing out-of-door games, in theless violent of which the women took part, or in riding the beautifulhorses of the country, or in flying swiftly over its richly cultivatedand variegated surface, paying visits to other _damas_ or homes, each ofwhich was occupied on the same scale and in the same manner as our own. After a late dinner, we usually had concerts, balls, and privatetheatricals. 

On the day following my arrival, Ushas explained to me the relationshipin which we were to stand towards each other. She said that marriage wasan institution as yet unknown to them, because their organisms had notyet attained the conditions to which they were struggling. They hadprogressed so far, however, that they had discovered the secret ofeternal youth. Indeed, Ushas herself was 590 years old. I was notsurprised at this, as something of the same kind has occurred more thanonce to _rishis_ or very advanced _mahatmas_. As a rule, however, theyare too anxious to go to _nirvana_, to stay on earth a moment longer thannecessary, and prefer rather to come back at intervals: this, we allknow, has occurred at least six times in the case of Buddha, as MrSinnett so well explains. At the same time Ushas announced withoutwords, but with a slight blush, and a smile of ineffable tenderness, thatfrom the day of my birth she knew that I was destined to be her futurehusband, and that at the appointed time we should be brought together. Wenow had our period of probation to go through together, and she told methat all the other _chelas_ here were going through the necessarytraining preparatory to wedlock like myself, and that there would be ageneral marrying all round, when the long-expected culminating epochshould arrive. 

Meantime, in order to enter upon the first stage of my new _chela_-ship, it became necessary for me to forget all the experiences which I hadacquired during the last twenty years of my life, as she explained thatit would be impossible for my mind to receive the new truths which I hadnow to learn so long as I clung to what she called "the fantasies" of my_mahatma_-ship. I cannot describe the pang which this announcementproduced. Still I felt that nothing must impede my search after truth;and I could not conceal from myself that, if in winning it I also wonUshas, I was not to be pitied. Nor to this day have I ever had reason toregret the determination at which I then arrived. 

It would be impossible for me in the compass of this article to describeall my experiences in the new life to which I dedicated myself, norindeed would it be proper to do so; suffice it to say, that I progressedbeyond my Ushas' most sanguine expectations. And here I would remark, that I found my chief stimulus to exertion to be one which had beencompletely wanting in my former experience. It consisted simply in this, that altruism had been substituted for egotism. Formerly, I made themost herculean spiritual effort to tide myself over the great period ofdanger--the middle of the fifth round. "That, " as Mr Sinnett correctlysays, "is the stupendous achievement of the adept as regards his ownpersonal interests;" and of course our own interests were all that I orany of the other _mahatmas_ ever thought of. "He has reached, " pursuesour author, "the farther shore of the sea in which so many of mankindwill perish. He waits there, in a contentment which people cannot evenrealise without some glimmering of spirituality--the sixthsense--themselves, for the arrival of his future companions. " This isperfectly true. I always found that the full enjoyment of this sixthsense among _mahatmas_ was heightened just in proportion to the numbersof other people who perish, so long as you were safe yourself. 

Here among the Sisters, on the other hand, the principle which wasinculcated was, "Never mind if you perish yourself, so long as you cansave others;" and indeed the whole effort was to elaborate such a systemby means of the concentration of spiritual forces upon earth, as shouldbe powerful enough to redeem it from its present dislocated and unhappycondition. To this end had the efforts of the Sisters been directed forso many centuries, and I had reason to believe that the time was not fardistant when we should emerge from our retirement to be the saviours andbenefactors of the whole human race. It followed from this, of course, that I retained all the supernatural faculties which I had acquired as a_mahatma_, and which I now determined to use, not for my own benefit asformerly, but for that of my fellow-creatures, and was soon able--thanksto additional faculties, acquired under Ushas' tutorship--to flit aboutthe world in my astral body without inconvenience. 

I happened to be in London on business the other day in this etherealcondition, when Mr Sinnett's book appeared, and I at once projected it onthe astral current to Thibet. I immediately received a communicationfrom Ushas to the effect that it compelled some words of reply from thesisterhood, and a few days since I received them. I regret that it hasbeen necessary to occupy so much of the reader's time with personaldetails. They were called for in order that he should understand thesource of my information, and my peculiar qualifications for impartingit. It will be readily understood, after my long connection with theThibetan brotherhood, how painful it must be to me to be the instrumentchosen not merely of throwing a doubt upon "the absolute truth concerningnature, man, the origin of the universe, and the destinies toward whichits inhabitants are tending, " to use Mr Sinnett's own words, but actuallyto demolish the whole structure of Esoteric Buddhism! Nor would I dothis now were it not that the publication of the book called by that namehas reluctantly compelled the sisterhood to break their long silence. Ifthe Thibetan Brothers had only held their tongues and kept their secretas they have done hitherto, they would not now be so rudely disturbed bythe Thibetan Sisters. 

* * * * *

"The Sisters of Thibet, " writes Ushas, of course with an astral pen inastral ink, "owe their origin to a circumstance which occurred in thetime of Sankaracharya, erroneously supposed by the initiated to be anincarnation of Buddha. This teacher, who lived more than a centurybefore the Christian era, dwelt chiefly upon the necessity of pursuing_gnyanam_ in order to obtain _moksha_--that is to say, the importance ofsecret knowledge to spiritual progress, and the consummation thereof. Andhe even went so far as to maintain that a man ought to keep all suchknowledge secret from his wife. Now the wife of Sankaracharya, whosename was Nandana, 'she who rejoices, ' was a woman of very profound occultattainments; and when she found that her husband was acquiring knowledgeswhich he did not impart to her, she did not upbraid him, but laboured allthe more strenuously in her own sphere of esoteric science, and she evendiscovered that all esoteric science had a twofold element init--masculine and feminine--and that all discoveries of occult mysteriesengaged in by man alone, were, so to speak, lop-sided, and thereforevalueless. So she conveyed herself secretly, by processes familiar toher, away from her husband, and took refuge in this region of Thibet inwhich we now dwell, and which, with all his knowledges, Sankaracharya wasnever able to discover, for they were all subjective, and dealt not withthe material things of this world. And she associated herself here inthe pursuit of knowledge with a learned man called Svasar, 'he who isfriendly, ' who considered secret knowledge merely the means to an end, and even spiritual progress valuable only in so far as it could be usedto help others; and they studied deep mysteries as brother and sistertogether--and he had been a _mahatma_ or _rishi_ of the highestgrade--and, owing to the aid he derived from his female associate, hediscovered that the subjective conditions of _nirvana_ and _devachan_were the result of one-sided male imaginings which had their origin inmale selfishness; and this conviction grew in him in the degree in whichthe Parthivi Mutar, or 'Earth Mother, ' became incarnated in Nandana. Thuswas revealed to him the astounding fact that the whole system of theoccult adepts had originated in the natural brains of men who had giventhemselves up to egotistical transcendental speculation--in fact, Icannot better describe the process than in the words of Mr Sinnetthimself, where he alludes to 'the highly cultivated devotees to be metwith occasionally in India, who build up a conception of nature, theuniverse and God, entirely on a metaphysical basis, and who have evolvedtheir systems by sheer force of transcendental thinking--who will takesome established system of philosophy as its groundwork, and amplify onthis to an extent which only an oriental metaphysician could dream of. '

"This, Mr Sinnett chooses to assume, was not the fact with the ThibetBrothers; but, in reality, this was just what they did. The fact thatthey have outstripped other similar transcendentalists is due to thecircumstance that the original founders of the system were men of morepowerful will and higher attainments than any who have succeeded them. And on their death they formed a compact spiritual society in the otherworld, impregnating the wills and imaginations of their disciples stillon earth with their fantastic theories, which they still retain there, ofa planetary chain, and the spiral advance of the seven rounds, and theseptenary law, and all the rest of it. In order for human beings to comeinto these occult knowledges, it is necessary, as Mr Sinnett admits, forthe adepts to go into trance-conditions--in other words, to lose allcontrol of their normal, or as they would probably call them, theirobjective faculties. While in this condition, they are the sport of anyinvisible intelligences that choose to play upon them; but fearing lestthey may be accused of this, they erroneously assert that no suchintelligences of a high order have cognisance of what happens in thisworld. The fact that _mahatmas_ have powers which appear supernaturalproves nothing, as Mr Sinnett also admits that innumerable _fakirs_ and_yojis_ possess these as well, whose authority on occultism he deems ofno account, when he says that 'careless inquirers are very apt toconfound such persons with the great adepts of whom they vaguely hear. 'There can be no better evidence of the falsity of the whole conceptionthan you are yourself. For to prove to you that you were the sport of adelusion, although your own experience as a _mahatma_ in regard to thesecret processes of nature, and the sensations attendant upon subjectiveconditions, exactly corresponded to those of all other _mahatmas_, youhave, under my tutelage, at various times allowed yourself to fall intotrance-conditions, when, owing to occult influences which we have broughtto bear, a totally different idea concerning 'nature, man, the origin ofthe universe, and the destinies toward which its inhabitants aretending, ' was presented to your sixth sense, which appeared 'absolutetruth' at the time, and which would have continued to seem so, had I nothad the power of intromitting you through trance-conditions into atotally different set of apparent truths on the same subject, which wereno more to be relied upon than the other. The fact is, that no seer, behe Hindoo, Buddhist, Christian, or of any other religion, is to bedepended upon the moment he throws himself into abnormal organicconditions. We see best, as you have now learnt, into the deepestmysteries with all our senses about us. And the discovery of this greatfact was due to woman; and it is for this reason that _mahatmas_ shrinkfrom female _chelas_--they are afraid of them. According to theirphilosophy, women play a poor part in the system of the universe, andtheir chances of reaching the blissful condition of _nirvana_ arepractically not to be compared with those of the men. 

"There is no such thing as subjectivity apart from objectivity. MrSinnett very properly tells you 'that occult science regards force andmatter as identical, and that it contemplates no principle in nature aswholly immaterial. The clue to the mystery involved, ' he goes on to say, 'lies in the fact, directly cognisable by occult experts, that matterexists in other states than those which are cognisable by the fivesenses;' but it does not become only cognisable subjectively on thataccount. You know very well, as an old _mahatma_, that you can cognisematter now with your sixth sense as well as with your five while in aperfectly normal condition, that you could not cognise except in trance-conditions before, and which even then you could only cogniseincorrectly. The much-vaunted sixth sense of _mahatmas_ needs sharpeningas much as their logic, for you can no more separate subjectivity fromobjectivity than you can separate mind from matter. Christians, if theydesire it, have a right to a heaven of subjective bliss, because theyconsider that they become immaterial when they go there; but Buddhists, who admit that they are in a sense material while in _devachan_ or_nirvana_, and deny that their consciousness in that condition is in thesame sense objective as well as subjective, talk sheer nonsense. " Ushasused a stronger expression here, but out of consideration for my old_mahatma_ friends, I suppress it. 

"'_Devachan_', says our Guru--speaking through his disciple in order toescape from this dilemma--'will seem as real as the chairs and tablesround us; and remember that above all things, to the profound philosophyof occultism, are the chairs and tables, and the whole objective sceneryof the world, unreal and merely transitory delusions of sense. ' If, ashe admits, they are material, why should they be more unreal than thechairs and tables in _devachan_, which are also material, since occultscience contemplates no principle in nature as wholly immaterial? Thefact is, that there is no more unreal and transitory delusion of sensethan those 'states' known to the adepts as _devachan_ or _nirvana_; theyare mere dreamlands, invented by metaphysicians, and lived in by themafter death--which are used by them to encourage a set of dreamers hereto evade the practical duties which they owe to their fellow-men in thisworld. 'Hence it is possible, ' says our author, 'for yet living personsto have visions of _devachan_, though such visions are rare and only one-sided, the entities in _devachan_, sighted by the earthly clairvoyant, being quite unconscious themselves of undergoing such observation. ' Thisis an erroneous and incorrect assumption on the Guru's part. 'The spiritof the clairvoyant, ' he goes on, 'ascends into the condition of_devachan_ in such rare visions, and thus becomes subject to the vividdelusions of that existence. ' Vivid delusions indeed, the fatalconsequences of which are, that they separate their votaries from thepractical duties of life, and create a class of idle visionaries who, wrapping themselves in their own vain conceits, would stand by and allowtheir fellow-creatures to starve to death, because, as Mr Sinnett franklytells us, 'if spiritual existence, vivid subjective consciousness, reallydoes go on for periods greater than the periods of intellectual physicalexistence, in the ratio, as we have seen in discussing the devachaniccondition, of 80 to 1 at least, then surely man's subjective existence ismore important than his physical existence and intellect in error, whenall its efforts are bent on the amelioration of the physical existence. '

"This is the ingenious theory which the Brothers of Thibet have devisedto release them from acknowledging that they have any other Brothers inthis world to whom they are under sacred obligations besides themselves, and which, owing to the selfish principle that underlies it, has atendency to sap the foundations of all morality. So that we have thisnineteenth-century apostle of Esoteric Buddhism venturing to assert tohis Western readers that 'it is not so rough a question as that--whetherman be wicked or virtuous--which must really, at the final criticalturning-point, decide whether he shall continue to live and develop intohigher phases of existence, or cease to live altogether. ' We, theSisters of Thibet, repudiate and denounce in the strongest terms any suchdoctrine as the logical outcome either of the moral precepts of Buddha orof the highest esoteric science. Let the Brothers of Thibet beware ofany longer cherishing the delusion that the Sisters of Thibet, becausetheir existence is purely objective, 'are therefore unreal and merelytransitory delusions of sense. ' We also have a secret to reveal--theresult of twenty centuries of occult learning--and we formally announceto you, the so-called adepts of occult science, that if you persist indisseminating any more of your deleterious metaphysical compounds in thisworld under the name of Esoteric Buddhism, we will not only no longerrefrain, as we have hitherto done, from tormenting you in your subjectiveconditions while still in your _rupas_, but, by virtue of the occultpowers we possess, will poison the elements of _devachan_ untilsubjective existence becomes intolerable there for your fifth and sixthprinciples, --your _manas_ and your _buddhis_, --and _nirvana_ itself willbe converted into hell. "

ADOLPHUS: A COMEDY OF AFFINITIES. 

_Dramatis personae_. 

The HON. ADOLPHUS GRESHAM. 

The EARL OF GULES. 

ADOLPHUS PLUMPER. 

Mr FLAMM. 

LADY ELAINE BENDORE. 

The COUNTESS OF GULES. 

Mrs PLUMPER. 

CHARLES. 

SCENE I. --A railway carriage. The Earl and Countess of Gules--LadyElaine Bendore--The Hon. Adolphus Gresham. 

_Elaine_. I must really beg of you to stop, Mr Gresham. You cannotthink how you pain and surprise me. I am sure I never had the leastidea! Besides, supposing papa or mamma should hear you. 

_Adolphus_. Lord Gules is asleep, and her ladyship is absorbed in hernovel; besides, you may be sure that I have taken care to ascertain theirsentiments before I venture to say what I have to you. Oh, Elaine, if Icould but hope!

_Train stops_. _Guard_ [_looking in_]. All the smoking-carriages areengaged, gentlemen; but you'll find room in here. 

[_Enter_ Adolphus Plumper _and_ Mr Flamm. Flamm _seats himself opposite_Elaine, _and_ Plumper _opposite_ Adolphus. 

_Flamm_ [_aside to_ Plumper]. By Jove, Plumper! you never told me youhad a twin brother. Polish up your spectacles, old man--you've made 'emdamp by that race we had to catch the train--and look at your_vis-a-vis_. 

[Plumper _takes off his spectacles with great deliberation, wipes them, puts them on again, and stares at_ Adolphus. 

_Plumper_ [_aside_] _stammering_. Dud-dud-dud-do you see a likeness? Dud-dud-dud-don't see it myself. He's bab-bab-bab-bald, and he's not sh-sh-sh-ort-sighted. 

_Fl_. Probably he doesn't stammer either. I'll try presently. Positively, if he wore spectacles and a wig of your hair, I shouldn'tknow you apart. 

_Lady Gules_ [_aside to_ Elaine]. Did you ever see anything moreextraordinary, my dear? What a horrid caricature of our dear AdolphusGresham!

_El_. [_aside_]. I can't say I agree with you, mamma. I think he has amore intelligent expression--more soul, I should say. 

_Lady G_. You are quite ridiculous, Elaine. Half the girls in Londonhave bean setting their caps at Mr Gresham for the last few seasons, tillthey have given him up as invulnerable; and now that you have a chance ofbecoming one of the richest peeresses in England, you do nothing but snubhim. He is as clever and charming as he will be rich when his fatherdies, and is certain to become a Cabinet Minister some day. He'sconsidered the most rising young man of his party. 

_El_. That he may easily be, considering he is a Conservative. Oh, mamma! how can you suppose that I would ever marry a Conservative?

_Lady G_. I have no patience with you, Elaine; a nice mess your Radicalshave made of it with Egypt and Ireland. But we won't go into that now;only remember this, if he proposes, and you don't accept him, your fatherand I will be seriously displeased. 

_El_. [_sighing_]. I'm sure the gentleman opposite is a friend of thepeople. See! he's reading the 'Pall Mall. ' [_Aside to_ Adolphus. ] Mammahas just been telling me that she sees such a strange likeness betweenyou and your opposite neighbour. 

_Ad_. Ah! Plumper--if the name on his hat-box is to be believed; A. Plumper, too. I wonder whether A. Stands for Adolphus? I don't feelflattered. 

_El_. Now that is nothing but Tory prejudice. I am sure he looks verydistinguished, though his name is Plumper. I have no doubt he's a self-made man. 

_Pl_. Pup-pup-pup-pardon me, madam; shall I put the window up? I seeyou feel the dud-dud-dud-draught. 

_El_. Thank you. No; I prefer it open. But may I ask you to lend meyour 'Echo'? it's a paper I like so much, and so seldom see. 

_Fl_. Cheap, but not nasty; enjoys a vast circulation among the middleclasses. The Conservatives are as far behind us in journalistic capacityas they are in parliamentary eloquence. 

_Pl_. You must make allowances for my friend. He's on the pup-pup-pup-press himself, and expects shortly to get into Pup-pup-pup-Parliament. 

_El_. Oh, I do so hope he will! You don't think there is a reactionsetting in, do you? Papa says that Mr Gladstone is losing his hold onthe country. 

_Lord Gules_ [_awaking with a snort_]. Not, however, before the countryhas lost its hold upon him. He cares no more for his country, sir, thanI do for the Chinese in California. He's a traitor, sir, to hisprinciples; he's--

_El_. Oh, papa, do stop!--here we are at the Victoria--and we have noright to judge any one so harshly. I assure you such strong expressionsonly make me feel more and more convinced how wrong you must be. [_To_Plumper, _handing back his paper_. ] Thank you so much. I'm so sorry Ihave not had time to read it. 

_Lady G_. Good-bye, Mr Gresham; remember that you have promised to dinewith us to-morrow night. We shall be quite alone; but I am sure youdon't care about a party. 

_Ad_. I need not say with what pleasure I shall look forward to it. _Aurevoir_, Lady Elaine. [_Aside_. ] You do not know how you have beentempting me to abandon all my cherished political convictions for yoursake. It is to be hoped that the Radicals will not follow up theirsuccess with the caucus by organising the young ladies of their party andletting them loose on society as propagandists of their Utopian ideas andpolitical fallacies. 

[_Exeunt omnes_. 

SCENE II. --Lady Gules's Boudoir. Elaine and Adolphus. 

_Ad_. Dear Lady Elaine, Lady Gules has given me special permission andopportunity to explain myself more fully than was possible yesterday. Please tell me why you were so surprised at what I said, and why youthink me so very objectionable?

_El_. I don't think you at all objectionable, Mr Gresham, as a member ofsociety; on the contrary, I think you charming; though I do feel that, magnetically, we are wide as the poles asunder! Oh, believe me, we haveno grounds of common sympathy, either in matters of philosophical, political, or religious thought--and above all, in art! You seem to lackthat enthusiasm for humanity which could alone constitute an affinitybetween us. I was surprised, because I had hoped to find in you anintelligent companion; and mortified at the discovery that you could notrise to higher ground than that of an ordinary admirer, --men in thesedays seem to think that women have no other _raison d'etre_ except to bemade love to. 

_Ad_. I do not think that is a new idea, Lady Elaine; but is itabsolutely necessary, in order that you should return the deep affectionI feel for you, that we should agree politically, philosophically, theologically, and aesthetically? In old days women did not troublethemselves on these matters, but trusted to their hearts rather than totheir heads to guide their affections. 

_El_. And so I do now. I feel instinctively that we are not kindredspirits; that the mysterious chord of sympathy which vibrates in theheart of a girl with the first tone of the voice of the man she isdestined to love, does not exist between us. Oh, indeed, indeed, MrGresham, although I adore Frederic Harrison as a thinker, as much as Idislike Mr Mallock--though I read every word he writes as a duty--I amnot destitute of romance. I am a profound believer in the doctrine ofaffinity. Who that accepts, as I do, the marvellous teaching of Comte, and remembers that the highest ideas which it contains were inspired by awoman, could fail to be? But I shall know the man towards whom I amdestined to occupy the relation that Comte's Countess did to him, at aglance. No words will need to pass between us to assure us that we areone in sentiment. It will be as impossible for him to be indifferent toelevating the taste of the masses in matters of domestic detail, or beotherwise wanting in a whole-hearted devotion to the service of humanity, or to scoff at the theory of evolution, as it would be for him to acceptthe errors and superstitions of an obsolete theology, or the antiquateddogmas of the Conservatives about landed property. 

_Ad_. And if I fulfilled all these conditions, so far as a thoroughphilosophical and political sympathy was concerned, would that avail menothing to produce this hidden affinity?

_El_. Absolutely nothing. In the first place, you could not pretend tobelieve and feel what you did not believe and feel; and in the second, ifyou could, I should instantly sense the absence of that internalattraction towards each other which would be irresistible in both. Youwere right, Mr Gresham, when you said the heart and not the head shouldbe the guide; and I trust it absolutely--so give up a hope which must bevain. Believe me, I feel deeply pained at having to speak so decidedly, but it is better that you should be under no delusion. Still, do not letme lose you as a friend whom I shall always esteem. You will soon getover it, and will have no difficulty in finding a wife who will suit youfar better than I should ever have done. 

_Ad_. There, believe me, you are mistaken; but it is a point impossibleto discuss. Good-bye, Lady Elaine. Thanks for your frankness andpatience with me. Perhaps I shall get over it, as you say. I shall takerefuge in my yacht, and try the curative effect of a cruise round theworld. It will be a year at least before we meet again. [_Exit_Adolphus. 

_El_. Poor Adolphus! how absolutely impossible is love, where the hiddensympathy of soul is wanting!--and yet how nice he is [_sighs_], and howmanfully he accepted his fate! What philosophy can really explain themystery of that magnetic affinity called love, which so unaccountablyexercises its attracting influences over the whole animal creation, andmost probably over plants? If it is a latent potentiality of matter, howdid it get there? Now for a scene with mamma. 

[_Exit_ Elaine. 

SCENE III. --The Countess of Gules's Boudoir. Lady Gules and Lady Elainereading. Enter Charles with card and letter. 

_El_. [_reading card_]. Mr Adolphus Plumper! Is the gentleman coming up-stairs, Charles?

_Charles_. No, my lady; he only left the card and this letter, and saidhe would call again. [_Exit_ Charles. 

_El_. [_opening letter_]. From Mr Gresham, mamma, dated Naples. [_Reads_. ] "DEAR ELAINE, --I felt so much touched by the kindness of yourlast words to me when we parted, that I venture to hope that it mayinterest you to know, as a friend, how it has fared with me since I leftEngland. The curative process does not seem to have fairly set in yet, but I am going to try the effect of a little mild excitement by joiningthe demonstrating fleets at Alexandria. For a month past I have beenidling here; and curiously enough, the first person I stumbled upon inthe Chiaja Gardens was Mr Adolphus Plumper--our railway companion on theonly journey I ever had the happiness to take with you, and who seatedhimself by my side on a bench to which I had resorted for a quiet cigar. As there are few foreigners here at this season, we have been thrownalmost daily together, and I have been quite delighted to find how verymuch superior he is to what I thought he _looked_ when you honoured me bypointing out our resemblance. I ought to speak highly of him, for hesaved my life. I took him a cruise in my yacht, and the gig in which wewere landing one day was upset in some breakers. I had been stunned, andshould have been drowned had he not come to the rescue; and I really feelthat for this and some other reasons which I will explain when we meet, Iowe him a debt of gratitude that I can never hope to repay. Although heis too retiring by nature to say so, I could see, when I made somelaughing allusions to the occasion of our first meeting, that he would beglad to continue to make the acquaintance of Lord and Lady Gules--inother words, to continue the political discussion he then commenced withyou. Singular to state, he is an admirer of Congreve and all thatschool, so I am sure you will have plenty of topics in common. MrPlumper has made an enormous fortune as a contractor, and now chieflyoccupies himself with works of charity and benevolence. One of hisspecial hobbies is the introduction of the aesthetic principle into_Kindergartens_. I have given him a hint not to introduce his vulgarfriend Flamm--pardon me the expression, though he is a Radical. I havegiven Plumper a few lines to Lady Gules. Please do all you can toovercome the prejudice against him which both she and Lord Gules are sureto entertain; and believe me, yours faithfully, "ADOLPHUS GRESHAM. "

_Lady G_. A Radical, a plutocrat, and an infidel! That is a mixturethat ought to suit you, Elaine. 

_El_. Quite as well as a Tory, a spendthrift, and a bigot, which is theone I usually meet in society, mamma. But please do not let us quarrel. I always try to be polite to your mixtures. For Mr Gresham's sake, becivil to mine. 

_Lady G_. For Mr Gresham's sake, indeed! What have you done for MrGresham's sake that puts me under an obligation to him? However, Isuppose we must ask the man to dinner. Is there any address on his card?

_El_. 20 Heavitree Gardens. 

_Lady G_. One of those millionaire palaces, I suppose, in the backregions of South Kensington. The carriage is waiting, so I shall leaveyou to write the invitation. You had better ask him for Tuesday, when wehave got some people coming to dinner. 

[_Exit_ Lady Gules. 

_El_. [_taking up the letter, reads_]. "Now chiefly occupies himselfwith works of charity and benevolence. One of his special hobbies is theintroduction of aesthetic principles into _Kindergartens_. " Howrefreshing to meet a man at last who takes a living interest in thewelfare of his fellow-creatures! I am sure I shall like him. [ _Writes, and rings the bell_. ]

_Enter_ Charles. 

_Lady E_. Please put this in the post, Charles. [_Exit_ Charles. ] NowI must go and get ready to go out riding with papa, and reconcile him tothe dreadful idea of having "a Radical, a plutocrat, and an infidel" athis dinner-table. [_Exit_ Elaine. 

(_A month elapses_. )

SCENE IV. --Lady Gules's Boudoir. Lord and Lady Gules. 

_Lord G_. I tell you what it is, my dear--we've only known that fellowPlumper a month, and he has already completely captivated Elaine with his_Kindergarten_, and his sunflowers, and his hatred of the landed interestand Irish coercion, and love of the _cloture_ and humanity, and Buddhaand Brahma, and Zoroaster and Mahomet, and all the rest of them. I mustreally take steps to find out whether Gresham was well informed about hisreputed wealth. I shall ride down and take a look at 20 HeavitreeGardens to-morrow. I haven't met a single man at the Club who has everheard of him. 

_Lady G_. It's no use: if he should turn out a pauper, or even aswindler, I am afraid Elaine will marry him. I saw it in her eye lastnight; and so, I should think, did he. He certainly can't complain ofnot receiving encouragement. I only wonder that he has not yet proposed. I believe the man to be capable of any act of audacity, in spite of hislanguid manner, and his long hair, and short-sightedness, and hisstammer. 

_Enter_ Elaine. 

_Lord G_. Are you coming to ride with me, or going out to drive withyour mother, Elaine?

_El_. Neither, dear papa. I am too busy finishing a paper I am writingon the "Chiton; or, Clothing for the masses on the principles of theideal of the ancient Greeks, " for the next meeting of the Women's DressReform Association. 

_Lord G_. Well, take care you make them put enough on. Remember theclimate, if you ignore other considerations. 

_Lady G_. And pray do not so far overstep the bounds of maidenly modestyas to consult your Mr Plumper on the subject. 

[_Exit_ Lord _and_ Lady Gules. 

_El_. [_sighing_]. My Mr Plumper! Ah, Adolphus, there is not a fibre inour bodies or souls--and why should not souls have fibres?--that does notvibrate in harmony! We are like AEolian harps that make the same musicto the same airs of the affections, while electrically our brains respondsympathetically to the same wave-current of idea. Emotionally, intellectually, we are one. Why should I allow an absurd custom ofconventional civilisation, degrading to the sex, to prevent my tellinghim so? What more inherent right can be vested by nature in a woman thanthat of telling a man that she loves him, and that, therefore, he belongsto her? Hark! his step. My Adolphus!

_Enter_ Adolphus. 

_Ad_. I have ventured to kuk-kuk-kuk-call, Lady Elaine, with the pap-pap-pattern I promised of female attire suited to all classes; for why shouldwe recognise any did-did-distinction between the folds which drape theform of the aristocrat and the pop-pop-pauper? It is all inkuk-kuk-curves and circles; there is not a straight line about it wornthus. See how graciously it flows! [_Puts his head through a hole inthe middle_. ] But allow me; your form will do far more justice to itthan mine. [_Takes it off and puts it on_ Lady Elaine. ] Ah, howdivinely precious! [_Gazes with rapture_. Lady Elaine _sits down init_. ]

_El_. Dear Adolphus, why should this strained conventional formalityexist any longer between us? Can we not read each other's thoughts? Canwe not feel each other's hearts beating in sweet accord? Are we notformed and fashioned for each other? Let this exquisite garment, whichwe have both worn, be the symbol of that internal robe which costumes ourunited souls, woven from the texture of our affections. 

_Ad_. [_falling on his knees, kisses its hem_]. Sweet symbol ofsanctified intuitions! Tit-tit-tit-transparent--though it may seem tot-tot-tolerably thick; for does it not reveal to me the workings of thesoul of my beb-beb-beloved? Ah, Elaine, how trifling do earthlytreasures seem, compared with those of the affections! You will be mine, for ever mine, dud-dud-darling, will you not--even though I may not havethe riches I am supposed to possess?

_El_. Oh, Adolphus! how can you ask me such a question? What is thewealth of the pocket as compared with the wealth of the soul!

_Ad_. True! oh, quite intensely true!--for how sweetly sings the poetOscar on this theme!--

 "As like miners we explore Hidden treasures in the soul, And we pip-pip-pick the amorous ore Firmly bedded in its hole; New emotions come to light, Flashing in affections' rays, Scintillating to the sight, With a tit-tit-tit-transcendental bib-bib-bib-blaze, Warming us until we burn With a glow of sacred fire, And as coals to diamonds turn, Sparkling in us with did-did-did-desire. "

_El_. Oh, quite, quite too lovely! Come, Adolphus--why should we lingerhere, now that our troths are plighted? Why should we not at once bravethe world together? I need the sweet scents of the air, the rustle ofleaves, the singing of birds, the chattering of monkeys, and the hum ofnature. Let us go, my love, and walk in the Zoo. 

_Ad_. [_rising_]. Dud-dud-dud-do you intend to keep that on?

_El_. What on?

_Ad_. This mystic garment of kuk-kuk-curves and circles. 

_El_. No; I will keep it for a pattern and a sweet reminiscence. Now Iwill go and put on my Louis Quatorze hat, and be back in a moment, if youwill go and call a hansom. 

[_Exit_ Elaine. 

[Adolphus _bursts into a fit of uncontrollable laughter_. 

[_Exit laughing_. 

SCENE V. --The Zoological Gardens. 

_El_. How sweet are these sights and sounds when hallowed by theconsciousness of a beloved presence! How one glows with affectiontowards every object in nature! Adolphus, dear, don't you feel, with me, that our hearts warm towards the hippopotamus?

_Ad_. Mine is positively beating with the violence of my affection forhim. If he was not so wet and bib-bib-big, I could throw my arms roundhim. Dear hippop-pop-pop-pop-otamoms!

_El_. Oh, look! there is that gentleman who got into the train with youon the blessed day that we first met. Mr Flamm, I think Mr Gresham saidhis name was. 

_Enter_ Flamm. 

_Flamm_. Ah, Plumper, how are you, old man? I was looking for youeverywhere. Why, what have you done with Mrs Plumper and the children?

_Ad_. My mother and her little grandchildren, you mean. I was not awarethat they were to come here to-day. 

_Fl_. Your mother! and grandchildren! Why, what the dev--- Oh, ah, ahem! [_Aside_. ] I see--mum's the word. Oh fie! sly dog! Naughty, naughty!--but so nice! [_Whispers_. ] You are quite safe with me. [_Aloud_. ] Yes, dear old lady--she's getting too old to walk much now. [_Aside_. ] I only hope we shan't meet the young one. A jolly rowthere'll be!

_El_. I hope soon to have the pleasure of being introduced to MrPlumper's mother. I am sure I shall like her. 

_Fl_. Oh, I am sure you will; she is the dearest, most delightful oldlady! [_Aside_. ] At least I hope she is by this time, for she was ahorrid old cat up to the day of her death, ten years ago. By Jove! herecome Mrs Plumper and the young uns. Now for it!

_Enter_ Mrs Plumper. 

_Mrs Plumper_. Why, Adolphus, where have you been? Excuse me, madam; Idid not see that you were upon my husband's arm. Perhaps he'll have thegoodness to present his wife to you. 

_El_. His wife! her husband! [_Screams--faints_. ]

_Mrs P_. Yes, madam. You may well scream, "His wife! her husband!" andthen pretend to faint. Who else's wife do you suppose I am?

_Ad_. I am sorry I have no time for explanation now, as I must attend tothis young lady; but if you will have the kindness to hold my hat, MrFlamm. [_Hands his hat to_ Flamm. ] And you, madam, to take care ofthese. [_Takes off his wig and spectacles and hands them to_ MrsPlumper. ] Your own senses will explain a good deal. As you may havealready discovered, I am not Mr Plumper at all; in fact, I perceive himapproaching. Help me to hold her head a little higher, please Mr Flamm;and Mrs Plumper, kindly undo the back of her dress, or her stays, or her_chiton_, or whatever is underneath, and let go everything generally, soas to give her a chance of breathing. 

_Enter_ Plumper. 

_Fl_. Here, Plumper, you're a medical man, just come in the nick oftime. This gentleman here has been personating you for some reason orother, and the discovery caused the young lady to faint. Mysterious, isn't it?

_Ad_. Not at all, when you come to know the circumstances. Here is mycard; and you will find me ready to make any apology or offer you anysatisfaction you may require. Meantime, Dr Plumper, let me implore youto assist me in bringing her to. 

_Pl_. There now, my gug-gug-good lady, take a smell of this. There now, we are beginning to feel beb-beb-better already. [_Aside_. ] Mostextraordinary coincidence, Flamm: this is the same lady and gentleman wetravelled up to town with a kuk-kuk-couple of months ago; and youremarked upon our wonderful resemblance to each other. Horrid bob-bob-bore, a fellow's being so like you; he can pip-pip-play all sorts oftricks upon you. Just a chance he did not get me into a did-did-devil ofa scrape with Jemima. 

_Fl_. [_aside_]. Well, you can always pay him off in his own coin--thatis, if you shave your head, and throw away your spectacles, and give upstammering. 

_Pl_. [_aside_]. But I can't--that's where he has the pup-pup-pull overme. [_Aloud_. ] There now, one or two bib-bib-breaths, and we are allright. Now, dud-dud-don't go off again; it can be all satisfactorilyexplained. [_Aside_. ] Hang me if I know how!

_El_. [_opens her eyes while_ Plumper _is bending over her--screams_]. Oh, Adolphus!--[_shuts them again_]

_Pl_. There, there, my gug-gug-good lady, I'm not Adolphus; at least Iam Adolphus, bub-bub-but not your Adolphus. Here, Mr Gresham, if you'reher Ad-dod-dod-dod-ol-phus, you'd better take her. 

_El_. [_opens her eyes, sees_ Adolphus _bending over her--screams_]. Oh, where am I?--[_shuts them again_. ]

_Pl_. In the arms of your Adolphus. We're bub-bub-both Adolphuses. Isuppose, if you'll rouse yourself a little, you'll soon fif-fif-find outwhich is the right one. 

_Ad_. Lady Elaine, pardon me, and I will explain all. I am AdolphusGresham. I came back from Naples a month ago, and have deceived you bydisguising myself as Dr Plumper. I shall never forgive myself unless youforgive me. 

_El_. Oh, this is too horrible! [_Shrinks from him, and bursts into aviolent fit of weeping_. ]

_Pl_. There, that's capital! Nothing like a hearty fit of tears to kuk-kuk-comfort a woman when she finds herself in a mess. Now Flamm, if youcall a kuk-kuk-cab, we'll put her in and send her home. 

[_Exit_ Flamm. 

_Ad_. If you'll have the kindness, Dr Plumper, to give me your address, and allow me to call upon you to-morrow, I think I shall be able to giveboth Mrs Plumper and yourself a complete explanation of what must appearmost extraordinary conduct on my part. 

_Re-enter_ Flamm. 

_Fl_. The cab is ready. 

_Ad_. Now, Lady Elaine, if you will allow Dr Plumper and myself toassist you, we will accompany you home. [_Exeunt omnes_. 

SCENE VI. --Lady Gules's Boudoir. Lord and Lady Gules--Adolphus. 

_Lord G_. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, wait a moment, my dear Gresham, or you'llkill me with laughing. It's the best joke I ever heard in my life, andmost cleverly executed. So you caught the Radical, Comtist, aestheticlittle minx in her own trap. Oh, excellent! I can't say how thoroughlyLady Gules and I congratulate you on the success of your ruse, and howhappy you have made us. My lady there is too pleased with the probableresult to quarrel about the means. But how you did take us all in! Igive you my word I never suspected you for a moment. Your stammer andwig were both admirable. As for Elaine, she's torturing her brain withmetaphysical doubts as to the nature of love, and says she will neverlove again. She tells her mother that her Adolphus was an idealpersonage who has no longer existence, and that her love is buried withhim; but here she comes, so we will leave you to fight your own battle. 

[_Exeunt_ Lord _and_ Lady Gules. 

_Enter_ Elaine. 

_Ad_. Dear Elaine. 

_El_. Sir!

_Ad_. Nay, rather Adolphus than sir. 

_El_. How can I say Adolphus? there is no Adolphus. 

_Ad_. Indeed there is--[_producing wig and spectacles_]--pup-pup-pardonme while I put them on. If it was only my wig and spectacles you caredabout, did-did-dearest, I will wear them and stammer through life fuf-fuf-for your sake. 

_El_. Oh, Mr Gresham, how can you be so heartless? You know very well Iloved you--at least I didn't love you, --I mean, I thought I lovedAdolphus--at least I was sure of it at the time; but I'm sure I don'tnow. Oh, how cruel of you!

_Ad_. But if it was not my wig and spectacles and stammer for which youfelt a magnetic affinity, I want to know exactly what it was you didlove; because I am precisely the same human being without them as withthem. What about me struck that mysterious chord of sympathy whichvibrated in your affections when I was Plumper, which failed to strike itas Gresham? Why should not our hearts still beat in sweet accord withoutmy wig? Why should not "this exquisite garment, which we have bothworn--[_takes up the dress, which is lying on a chair in the corner_]--bethe symbol of that internal robe which costumes our united souls, wovenfrom the texture of our affections, " without my spectacles?

_El_. Mr Gresham, how dare you talk such nonsense? The texture of ouraffections indeed! mine are dead--basely, foully murdered. Oh, was everwoman so cruelly humiliated?

_Ad_. Nay, Elaine, I merely wished to prove to you that your aversionfor me was entirely unfounded. You have proved to me that your love forAdolphus, in the abstract, is as baseless and unsubstantial. I am notsorry under the circumstances that it should have been murdered, for itwas a poor exotic. Let us not attempt to analyse the mysterious natureof that passion which is too precious a plant to tear up by the roots inorder to discover the origin of its existence, but learn rather from thislesson, so painful to us both, that there are more things in heaven andearth than are dreamt of even in the philosophy of Comte, the doctrinesof the aesthete, or the politics of Mr Gladstone. And now, Elaine, farewell, --this time you need not fear my coming back from Naples. [_Moves towards the door and lingers_. ]

[Elaine _puts her face between her hands and sobs convulsively_. 

_Ad_. Elaine, dear Elaine [_returns softly and takes her hand_], do youwish me to go?

[Elaine _shakes her head_. 

_Ad_. Do you wish me to stay?

[Elaine _shakes her head_. 

_Ad_. What do you wish me to do? I must do either one or the other. Shall I stay and go alternately, or shall we make a fresh start, withoutprejudice, as the lawyers say?

_El_. Oh, how heartlessly you talk! What do I care what the lawyerssay? Can't you see how miserable I am, and how hollow everything seemsall at once? I don't believe in any one, and I don't feel as if I knewanything, except that love is an inexplicable phenomenon of matter. Ishall become an agnostic. 

_Re-enter_ Lord _and_ Lady Gules. 

_Lord G_. Well, have you two young people come to an understanding? Takemy word for it, Elaine, an ounce of practice is worth a pound of theoryin love-affairs, and be thankful if the man is willing to become yourhusband, who has had sufficient common-sense to teach you the lesson. Holloa! whom have we here?

_Enter_ Charles _with cards_. 

_Lord G_. [_reads_]. "Dr and Mrs Plumper and Mr Flamm, to inquire forLady Elaine Bendore. " Oho! our friend Plumper seems to know thedifference between theory and practice at any rate, and is evidentlyanxious to extend the latter. [_To_ Charles. ] Show them up. 

_Ad_. I called upon the Plumpers this morning, and explained the wholeaffair to the entire satisfaction of the worthy couple. 

[Adolphus _and_ Lady Elaine _whisper apart_. 

_Lord G_. I have to thank you, Dr Plumper, for the timely assistance yourendered my daughter--first, in nearly sending her into a fit, and thenin bringing her out of it; and am glad of this opportunity of expressingmy sense of the obligation I am under to Mrs Plumper and Mr Flamm. 

_Dr P_. Oh, don't mention it, my lord; I am sure I was only too gug-gug-glad to be of any assistance to Mr Gresham by being so like him as tofrighten the young lady into a fif-fif-fit. And as for bringing her to--Ialways take the sal-volatile in my pup-pup-pup-pocket on Mrs Plumper'saccount. 

_Ad_. And you'll accept me, Elaine, as your husband, even though I don'tabandon my political aspirations, or introduce aesthetic principles into_Kindergartens_, or adopt the philosophy of Comte?

_El_. [_giving him her hand_]. Oh, Adolphus, you have convinced me thatthe loftiest of all aspirations, the purest of all principles, thesupremest of all philosophies, is--

_Ad_. A-dod-dod-dolphus!

Footnotes:

{81} Esoteric Buddhism. By A. P. Sinnett, President of the SimlaEclectic Theosophical Society. 

PRINTED BY WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS.