CECILIA

OR

Memoirs of an Heiress

by

FRANCES BURNEY

VOL. II. 

Edited by R. Brimley Johnson

Illustrated by M. Cubitt Cooke

BOOK IV. _Continued_. 

CHAPTER x. 

A MURMURING. 

Unable to relieve herself from this perplexity, Cecilia, to divert herchagrin, again visited Miss Belfield. She had then the pleasure tohear that her brother was much recovered, and had been able, thepreceding day, to take an airing, which he had borne so well that MrRupil had charged him to use the same exercise every morning. 

"And will he?" said Cecilia. 

"No, madam, I am sadly afraid not, " she answered, "for coach hire isvery expensive, and we are willing, now, to save all we can in orderto help fitting him out for going abroad. "

Cecilia then earnestly entreated her to accept some assistance; butshe assured her she did not dare without the consent of her mother, which, however, she undertook to obtain. 

The next day, when Cecilia called to hear her success, Mrs Belfield, who hitherto had kept out of sight, made her appearance. She foundher, alike in person, manners and conversation, a coarse and ordinarywoman, not more unlike her son in talents and acquired accomplishments, than dissimilar to her daughter in softness and natural delicacy. 

The moment Cecilia was seated, she began, without waiting for anyceremony, or requiring any solicitation, abruptly to talk of heraffairs, and repiningly to relate her misfortunes. 

"I find, madam, " she said, "you have been so kind as to visit mydaughter Henny a great many times, but as I have no time for company, I have always kept out of the way, having other things to do than sitstill to talk. I have had a sad time of it here, ma'am, with my poorson's illness, having no conveniencies about me, and much ado to makehim mind me; for he's all for having his own way, poor dear soul, andI'm sure I don't know who could contradict him, for it's what I neverhad the heart to do. But then, ma'am, what is to come of it? You seehow bad things go! for though I have got a very good income, it won'tdo for every thing. And if it was as much again, I should want to saveit all now. For here my poor son, you see, is reduced all in a minute, as one may say, from being one of the first gentlemen in the town, toa mere poor object, without a farthing in the world!"

"He is, however, I hope now much better in his health?" said Cecilia. 

"Yes, madam, thank heaven, for if he was worse, those might tell of itthat would, for I'm sure I should never live to hear of it. He hasbeen the best son in the world, madam, and used [to] nothing but thebest company, for I spared neither pains nor cost to bring him upgenteely, and I believe there's not a nobleman in the land that looksmore the gentleman. However, there's come no good of it, for thoughhis acquaintances was all among the first quality, he never receivedthe value of a penny from the best of them. So I have no great need tobe proud. But I meant for the best, though I have often enough wishedI had not meddled in the matter, but left him to be brought up in theshop, as his father was before him. "

"His present plan, however, " said Cecilia, "will I hope make you ampleamends both for your sufferings and your tenderness. "

"What, madam, when he's going to leave me, and settle in foreignparts? If you was a mother yourself, madam, you would not think thatsuch good amends. "

"Settle?" said Cecilia. "No, he only goes for a year or two. "

"That's more than I can say, madam, or any body else; and nobody knowswhat may happen in that time. And how I shall keep myself up when he'sbeyond seas, I am sure I don't know, for he has always been the prideof my life, and every penny I saved for him, I thought to have beenpaid in pounds. "

"You will still have your daughter, and she seems so amiable, that Iam sure you can want no consolation she will not endeavour to giveyou. "

"But what is a daughter, madam, to such a son as mine? a son that Ithought to have seen living like a prince, and sending his own coachfor me to dine with him! And now he's going to be taken away from me, and nobody knows if I shall live till he comes back. But I may thankmyself, for if I had but been content to see him brought up in theshop--yet all the world would have cried shame upon it, for when hewas quite a child in arms, the people used all to say he was born tobe a gentleman, and would live to make many a fine lady's heart ache. "

"If he can but make _your_ heart easy, " said Cecilia, smiling, "we will not grieve that the fine ladies should escape the prophecy. "

"O, ma'am, I don't mean by that to say he has been over gay among theladies, for it's a thing I never heard of him; and I dare say if anylady was to take a fancy to him, she'd find there was not a modesteryoung man in the world. But you must needs think what a hardship it isto me to have him turn out so unlucky, after all I have done for him, when I thought to have seen him at the top of the tree, as one maysay!"

"He will yet, I hope, " said Cecilia, "make you rejoice in all yourkindness to him: his health is already returning, and his affairs wearagain a more prosperous aspect" "But do you suppose, ma'am, thathaving him sent two or three hundred miles away from me; with someyoung master to take care of, is the way to make up to me what I havegone through for him? why I used to deny myself every thing in theworld, in order to save money to buy him smart cloaths, and let him goto the Opera, and Ranelagh, and such sort of places, that he mightkeep himself in fortune's way! and now you see the end of it! here heis, in a little shabby room up two pairs of stairs, with not one ofthe great folks coming near him, to see if he's so much as dead oralive. "

"I do not wonder, " said Cecilia, "that you resent their shewing solittle gratitude for the pleasure and entertainment they have formerlyreceived from him but comfort yourself that it will at least secureyou from any similar disappointment, as Mr Belfield will, in future, be guarded from forming such precarious expectations. "

"But what good will that do me, ma'am, for all the money he has beenthrowing after them all this while? do you think I would have scrapedit up for him, and gone without every thing in the world, to see itall end in this manner? why he might as well have been brought up thecommonest journeyman, for any comfort I shall have of him at thisrate. And suppose he should be drowned in going beyond seas? what am Ito do then?"

"You must not, " said Cecilia, "indulge such fears; I doubt not butyour son will return well, and return all that you wish. "

"Nobody knows that, ma'am; and the only way to be certain is for himnot to go at all; and I'm surprised, ma'am, you can wish him to makesuch a journey to nobody knows where, with nothing but a young masterthat he must as good as teach his A. B. C. All the way they go!"

"Certainly, " said Cecilia, amazed at this accusation, "I should notwish him to go abroad, if any thing more eligible could be, done byhis remaining in England but as no prospect of that sort seems beforehim, you must endeavour to reconcile yourself to parting with him. "

"Yes, but how am I to do that, when I don't know if ever I shall seehim again? Who could have thought of his living so among the greatfolks, and then coming to want! I'm sure I thought they'd haveprovided for him like a son of their own, for he used to go about toall the public places just as they did themselves. Day after day Iused to be counting for when he would come to tell me he'd got a placeat court, or something of that sort, for I never could tell what itwould be: and then the next news I heard, was that he was shut up inthis poor bit of place, with nobody troubling their heads about him!however, I'll never be persuaded but he might have done better, if hewould but have spoke a good word for himself, or else have let me doneit for him: instead of which, he never would so much as let me see anyof his grand friends, though I would not have made the least scruplein the world to have asked them for any thing he had a mind to. "

Cecilia again endeavoured to give her comfort; but finding her onlysatisfaction was to express her discontent, she arose to take leave. But, turning first to Miss Belfield, contrived to make a privateenquiry whether she might repeat her offer of assistance. A downcastand dejected look answering in the affirmative, she put into her handa ten pound bank note, and wishing them good morning, hurried out ofthe room. 

Miss Belfield was running after her, but stopt by her mother, whocalled out, "What is it?--How much is it?--Let me look at it!"--Andthen, following Cecilia herself, she thanked her aloud all the waydown stairs for her _genteelness_, assuring her she would notfail making it known to her son. 

Cecilia at this declaration turned back, and exhorted her by no meansto mention it; after which she got into her chair, and returned home;pitying Miss Belfield for the unjust partiality shewn to her brother, and excusing the proud shame he had manifested of his relations, fromthe vulgarity and selfishness of her who was at the head of them. 

Almost a fortnight had now elapsed since her explanation with youngDelvile, yet not once had he been in Portman-square, though in thefortnight which had preceded, scarce a day had passed which had notafforded him some pretence for calling there. 

At length a note arrived from Mrs Delvile. It contained the mostflattering reproaches for her long absence, and a pressing invitationthat she would dine and spend the next day with her. 

Cecilia, who had merely denied herself the pleasure of this visit froman apprehension of seeming too desirous of keeping up the connection, now, from the same sense of propriety, determined upon making it, wishing equally to avoid all appearance of consciousness, either byseeking or avoiding the intimacy of the family. 

Not a little was her anxiety to know in what manner young Delvilewould receive her, whether he would be grave or gay, agitated, asduring their last conversation, or easy, as in the meetings which hadpreceded it. 

She found Mrs Delvile, however, alone; and, extremely kind to her, yetmuch surprised, and half displeased, that she had so long been. Absent. Cecilia, though somewhat distressed what excuses to offer, washappy to find herself so highly in favour, and not very reluctant topromise more frequent visits in future. 

They were then summoned to dinner; but still no young Delvile wasvisible: they were joined only by his father, and she found that noone else was expected. 

Her astonishment now was greater than ever, and she could account byno possible conjecture for a conduct so extraordinary. Hitherto, whenever she had visited in St James's-square by appointment, the airwith which he had received her, constantly announced that he hadimpatiently waited her arrival; he had given up other engagements tostay with her, he had openly expressed his hopes that she would neverbe long absent, and seemed to take a pleasure in her society to whichevery other was inferior. And now, how striking the difference! heforbore all visits at the house where she resided, he even flew fromhis own when he knew she was approaching it!

Nor was this the only vexation of which this day was productive; MrDelvile, when the servants were withdrawn after dinner, expressed someconcern that he had been called from her during their lastconversation, and added that he would take the present opportunity totalk with her upon some matters of importance. 

He then began the usual parading prelude, which, upon all occasions, he thought necessary, in order to enhance the value of hisinterposition, remind her of her inferiority, and impress her with adeeper sense of the honour which his guardianship conferred upon herafter which, he proceeded to make a formal enquiry whether she hadpositively dismissed Sir Robert Floyer?

She assured him she had. 

"I understood my Lord Ernolf, " said he, "that you had totallydiscouraged the addresses of his son?"

"Yes, Sir, " answered Cecilia, "for I never mean to receive them. "

"Have you, then, any other engagement?"

"No, Sir, " cried she, colouring between shame and displeasure, "noneat all. "

"This is a very extraordinary circumstance!" replied he: "the son ofan earl to be rejected by a young woman of no family, and yet noreason assigned for it!"

This contemptuous speech so cruelly shocked Cecilia, that though hecontinued to harangue her for a great part of the afternoon, she onlyanswered him when compelled by some question, and was so evidentlydiscomposed, that Mrs Delvile, who perceived her uneasiness with muchconcern, redoubled her civilities and caresses, and used every methodin her power to oblige and enliven her. 

Cecilia was not ungrateful for her care, and shewed her sense of it byadded respect and attention; but her mind was disturbed, and shequitted the house as soon as she was able. 

Mr Delvile's speech, from her previous knowledge of the extremehaughtiness of his character, would not have occasioned her thesmallest emotion, had it merely related to him or to herself: but asit concerned Lord Ernolf, she regarded it as also concerning his son, and she found that, far from trying to promote the union Mr Moncktonhad told her he had planned, he did not seem even to think of it, but, on the contrary, proposed and seconded with all his interest anotheralliance. 

This, added to the behaviour of young Delvile, made her suspect thatsome engagement was in agitation on his own part, and that while shethought him so sedulous only to avoid her, he was simply occupied inseeking another. This painful suggestion, which every thing seemed toconfirm, again overset all her schemes, and destroyed all hervisionary happiness. Yet how to reconcile it with what had passed attheir last meeting she knew not; she had then every reason to believethat his heart was in her power, and that courage, or an opportunitymore seasonable, was all he wanted to make known his devotion to her;why, then, shun if he loved her? why, if he loved her not, seem soperturbed at the explanation of her independence?

A very little time, however, she hoped would unravel this mystery; intwo days, the entertainment which Mr Harrel had planned, to deceivethe world by an appearance of affluence to which he had lost alltitle, was to take place; young Delvile, in common with every otherperson who had ever been seen at the house, had early received aninvitation, which he had readily promised to accept some time beforethe conversation that seemed the period of their acquaintance hadpassed. Should he, after being so long engaged, fail to keep hisappointment, she could no longer have any doubt of the justice of herconjecture; should he, on the contrary, again appear, from hisbehaviour and his looks she might perhaps be able to gather why he hadso long been absent. 

BOOK V. 

CHAPTER i. 

A ROUT. 

The day at length arrived of which the evening and the entrance ofcompany were, for the first time, as eagerly wished by Cecilia as byher dissipated host and hostess. No expence and no pains had beenspared to render this long projected entertainment splendid andelegant; it was to begin with a concert, which was to be followed by aball, and succeeded by a supper. 

Cecilia, though unusually anxious about her own affairs, was not soengrossed by them as to behold with indifference a scene of suchunjustifiable extravagance; it contributed to render her thoughtfuland uneasy, and to deprive her of all mental power of participating inthe gaiety of the assembly. Mr Arnott was yet more deeply affected bythe mad folly of the scheme, and received from the whole evening noother satisfaction than that which a look of sympathetic concern fromCecilia occasionally afforded him. 

Till nine o'clock no company appeared, except Sir Robert Floyer, whostayed from dinner time, and Mr Morrice, who having received aninvitation for the evening, was so much delighted with the permissionto again enter the house, that he made use of it between six andseven o'clock, and before the family had left the dining parlour. Heapologized with the utmost humility to Cecilia for the unfortunateaccident at the Pantheon; but as to her it had been productive ofnothing but pleasure, by exciting in young Delvile the most flatteringalarm for her safety, she found no great difficulty in according himher pardon. 

Among those who came in the first crowd was Mr Monckton, who, had hebeen equally unconscious of sinister views, would in following his owninclination, have been as early in his attendance as Mr Morrice; butwho, to obviate all suspicious remarks, conformed to the fashionabletardiness of the times. 

Cecilia's chief apprehension for the evening was that Sir RobertFloyer would ask her to dance with him, which she could not refusewithout sitting still during the ball, nor accept, after the reportsshe knew to be spread, without seeming to give a public sanction tothem. To Mr Monckton therefore, innocently considering him as amarried man and her old friend, she frankly told her distress, adding, by way of excuse for the hint, that the partners were to be changedevery two dances. 

Mr Monckton, though his principal study was carefully to avoid allpublic gallantry or assiduity towards Cecilia, had not the forbearanceto resist this intimation, and therefore she had the pleasure oftelling Sir Robert, when he asked the honour of her hand for the twofirst dances, that she was already engaged. 

She then expected that he would immediately secure her for the twofollowing; but, to her great joy, he was so much piqued by the evidentpleasure with which she announced her engagement, that he proudlywalked away without adding another word. 

Much satisfied with this arrangement, and not without hopes that, ifshe was at liberty when he arrived, she might be applied to by youngDelvile, she now endeavoured to procure herself a place in the musicroom. 

This, with some difficulty, she effected; but though there was anexcellent concert, in which several capital performers played andsung, she found it impossible to hear a note, as she chanced to beseated just by Miss Leeson, and two other young ladies, who werepaying one another compliments upon their dress and their looks, settling to dance in the same cotillon, guessing who would begin theminuets, and wondering there were not more gentlemen. Yet, in themidst of this unmeaning conversation, of which she remarked that MissLeeson bore the principal part, not one of them failed, from time totime, to exclaim with great rapture _"What sweet music!--" "Oh. Howcharming!" "Did you ever hear any thing so delightful?--"_

"Ah, " said Cecilia to Mr Gosport, who now approached her, "but foryour explanatory observations, how much would the sudden loquacity ofthis supercilious lady, whom I had imagined all but dumb, haveperplext me!"

"Those who are most silent to strangers, " answered Mr Gosport, "commonly talk most fluently to their intimates, for they are deeplyin arrears, and eager to pay off their debts. Miss Leeson now is inher proper set, and therefore appears in her natural character: andthe poor girl's joy in being able to utter all the nothings she haspainfully hoarded while separated from her coterie, gives to her nowthe wild transport of a bird just let loose from a cage. I rejoice tosee the little creature at liberty, for what can be so melancholy as aforced appearance of thinking, where there are no materials for suchan occupation?"

Soon after, Miss Larolles, who was laughing immoderately, contrived tocrowd herself into their party, calling out to them, "O you have hadthe greatest loss in the world! if you had but been in the next roomjust now!--there's the drollest figure there you can conceive: enoughto frighten one to look at him. " And presently she added "O Lord, ifyou stoop a little this way, you may see him!"

Then followed a general tittering, accompanied with exclamations of"Lord, what a fright!" "It's enough to kill one with laughing to lookat him!" "Did you ever see such a horrid creature in your life?" Andsoon after, one of them screamed out "O Lord, see!--he's grinning atMiss Beverley!"

Cecilia then turned her head towards the door, and there, to her ownas well as her neighbours' amazement, she perceived Mr Briggs! who, inorder to look about him at his ease, was standing upon a chair, fromwhich, having singled her out, he was regarding her with a facetioussmirk, which, when it caught her eye, was converted into a familiarnod. 

She returned his salutation, but was not much charmed to observe, thatpresently descending from his exalted post, which had moved the wonderand risibility of all the company, he made a motion to approach her;for which purpose, regardless of either ladies or gentlemen in hisway, he sturdily pushed forward, with the same unconcerned hardinesshe would have forced himself through a crowd in the street; and takingnot the smallest notice of their frowns, supplications that he wouldstand still, and exclamations of "Pray, Sir!"--"Lord, howtroublesome!" and "Sir, I do assure you here's no room!" he fairly andadroitly elbowed them from him till he reached her seat: and then, with a waggish grin, he looked round, to show he had got the better, and to see whom he had discomposed. 

When he had enjoyed this triumph, he turned to Cecilia, and chuckingher under the chin, said "Well, my little duck, how goes it? got toyou at last; squeezed my way; would not be nicked; warrant I'll mobwith the best of them! Look here! all in a heat!--hot as the dogdays. "

And then, to the utter consternation of the company, he took off hiswig to wipe his head! which occasioned such universal horror, that allwho were near the door escaped into other, apartments, while those whowere too much enclosed, for flight, with one accord turned away theirheads. 

Captain Aresby, being applied to by some of the ladies to remonstrateupon this unexampled behaviour, advanced to him, and said, "I am quite_abimé_, Sir, to incommode you, but the commands of the ladiesare insuperable. Give me leave, Sir, to entreat that you would put onyour wig. "

"My wig?" cried he, "ay, ay, shall in a moment, only want to wipe myhead first. "

"I am quite _assommé_, Sir, " returned the Captain, "to disturbyou, but I must really hint you don't comprehend me: the ladies areextremely inconvenienced by these sort of sights, and we make it aprinciple they should never be _accablées_ with them. "

"Anan!" cried Mr Briggs, staring. 

"I say, Sir, " replied the Captain, "the ladies are quite _audesespoir_ that you will not cover your head. "

"What for?" cried he, "what's the matter with my head? ne'er a manhere got a better! very good stuff in it: won't change it with ne'er aone of you!"

And then, half unconscious of the offence he had given, and half angryat the rebuke he had received, he leisurely compleated his design, andagain put on his wig, settling it to his face with as much composureas if he had performed the operation in his own dressing-room. 

The Captain, having gained his point, walked away, making, however, various grimaces of disgust, and whispering from side to side "he'sthe most petrifying fellow I ever was _obsedé_ by!"

Mr Briggs then, with much derision, and sundry distortions ofcountenance, listened to an Italian song; after which, he bustled backto the outer apartment, in search of Cecilia, who, ashamed of seeminga party in the disturbance he had excited, had taken the opportunityof his dispute with the Captain, to run into the next room; where, however, he presently found her, while she was giving an account to MrGosport of her connection with him, to which Morrice, ever curious andeager to know what was going forward, was also listening. 

"Ah, little chick!" cried he, "got to you again! soon out jostle thosejemmy sparks! But where's the supper? see nothing of the supper! Timeto go to bed, --suppose there is none; all a take in; nothing but alittle piping. "

"Supper, Sir?" cried Cecilia; "the Concert is not over yet. Was suppermentioned in your card of invitation?"

"Ay, to be sure, should not have come else. Don't visit often; alwayscosts money. Wish I had not come now; wore a hole in my shoe; hardly acrack in it before. "

"Why you did not walk, Sir?"

Did, did; why not? Might as well have stayed away though; daubed mybest coat, like to have spoilt it. "

"So much the better for the taylors, Sir, " said Morrice, pertly, "forthen you must have another. "

"Another! what for? ha'n't had this seven years; just as good as new. "

"I hope, " said Cecilia, "you had not another fall?"

"Worse, worse; like to have lost my bundle. "

"What bundle, Sir?"

"Best coat and waistcoat; brought 'em in my handkerchief, purpose tosave them. When will Master Harrel do as much?"

"But had you no apprehensions, Sir, " said Mr Gosport drily, "that thehandkerchief would be the sooner worn out for having a knot tied init?"

"Took care of that, tied it slack. Met an unlucky boy; little dog gaveit a pluck; knot slipt; coat and waistcoat popt out. "

"But what became of the boy, Sir?" cried Morrice, "I hope he got off?"

"Could not run for laughing; caught him in a minute; gave himsomething to laugh for; drubbed him soundly. "

"O poor fellow!" cried Morrice with a loud hallow, "I am really sorryfor him. But pray, Sir, what became of your best coat and waistcoatwhile you gave him this drubbing? did you leave them in the dirt?"

"No, Mr Nincompoop, " answered Briggs angrily, "I put them on a stall. "

"That was a perilous expedient, Sir, " said Mr Gosport, "and I shouldfear might be attended with ill consequences, for the owner of thestall would be apt to expect some little _douçeur_. How did youmanage, Sir?"

"Bought a halfpenny worth of apples. Serve for supper to-morrownight. "

"But how, Sir, did you get your cloaths dried, or cleaned?"

"Went to an alehouse; cost me half a pint. "

"And pray, Sir, " cried Morrice, "where, at last, did you make yourtoilette?"

"Sha'n't tell, sha'n't tell; ask no more questions. What signifieswhere a man slips on a coat and waist-coat?"

"Why, Sir, this will prove an expensive expedition to you, " said MrGosport, very gravely; "Have you cast up what it may cost you?"

"More than it's worth, more than it's worth", answered he pettishly"ha'n't laid out so much in pleasure these five years. "

"Ha! ha!" cried Morrice, hallowing aloud, "why it can't be more thansixpence in all!"

"Sixpence?" repeated he scornfully, "if you don't know the value ofsixpence, you'll never be worth fivepence three farthings. How dothink got rich, hay?--by wearing fine coats, and frizzling my pate?No, no; Master Harrel for that! ask him if he'll cast an account withme!--never knew a man worth a penny with such a coat as that on. "

Morrice again laughed, and again Mr Briggs reproved him; and Cecilia, taking advantage of the squabble, stole back to the music-room. Here, in a few minutes, Mrs Panton, a lady who frequently visited at thehouse, approached Cecilia, followed by a gentleman, whom she had neverbefore seen, but who was so evidently charmed with her, that he hadlooked at no other object since his entrance into the house. MrsPanton, presenting him to her by the name of Mr Marriot, told her hehad begged her intercession for the honour of her hand in the twofirst dances: and the moment she answered that she was alreadyengaged, the same request was made for the two following. Cecilia hadthen no excuse, and was therefore obliged to accept him. 

The hope she had entertained in the early part of the evening, wasalready almost wholly extinguished; Delvile appeared not! though hereye watched the entrance of every new visitor, and her vexation madeher believe that he alone, of all the town, was absent. 

When the Concert was over, the company joined promiscuously for chatand refreshments before the ball; and Mr Gosport advanced to Cecilia, to relate a ridiculous dispute which had just passed between Mr Briggsand Morrice. 

"You, Mr Gosport, " said Cecilia, "who seem to make the _minutiae_of absurd characters your study, can explain to me, perhaps, why MrBriggs seems to have as much pleasure in proclaiming his meanness, asin boasting his wealth?"

"Because, " answered Mr Gosport, "he knows them, in his own affairs, tobe so nearly allied, that but for practising the one, he had neverpossessed the other; ignorant, therefore, of all discrimination, --except, indeed, of pounds, shillings and pence!--he supposes themnecessarily inseparable, because with him they were united. What you, however, call meanness, he thinks wisdom, and recollects, therefore, not with shame but with triumph, the various little arts andsubterfuges by which his coffers have been filled. "

Here Lord Ernolf, concluding Cecilia still disengaged from seeing heronly discourse with Mr Gosport and Mr Monckton, one of discourse wasold enough to be her father, and the other was a _married man_, advanced, and presenting to her Lord Derford, his son, a youth not yetof age, solicited for him the honour of her hand as his partner. 

Cecilia, having a double excuse, easily declined this proposal; LordErnolf, however, was too earnest to be repulsed, and told her heshould again try his interest when her two present engagements werefulfilled. Hopeless, now, of young Delvile, she heard this intimationwith indifference; and was accompanying Mr Monckton into the ballroom, when Miss Larolles, flying towards her with an air of infinite eagerness, caught her hand, and said in a whisper "pray let me wish you joy!"

"Certainly!" said Cecilia, "but pray let me ask you of what?"

"O Lord, now, " answered she, "I am sure you know what I mean; but youmust know I have a prodigious monstrous great favour to beg of you:now pray don't refuse me; I assure you if you do, I shall be somortified you've no notion. "

"Well, what is it?"

"Nothing but to let me be one of your bride maids. I assure you Ishall take it as the greatest favour in the world. "

"My bride maid!" cried Cecilia; "but do you not think the bridegroomhimself will be rather offended to find a bridesmaid appointed, beforehe is even thought of?"

"O pray, now, " cried she, "don't be ill-natured, for if you are, you've no idea how I shall be disappointed. Only conceive whathappened to me three weeks ago! you must know I was invited to MissClinton's wedding, and so I made up a new dress on purpose, in a veryparticular sort of shape, quite of my own invention, and it had thesweetest effect you can conceive; well, and when the time came, do youknow her mother happened to die! Never any thing was so excessiveunlucky, for now she won't be married this half year, and my dresswill be quite old and yellow; for it's all white, and the mostbeautiful thing you ever saw in your life. "

"Upon my word you are very obliging!" cried Cecilia laughing; "andpray do you make interest regularly round with all your femaleacquaintance to be married upon this occasion, or am I the only oneyou think this distress will work upon?"

"Now how excessive teazing!" cried Miss Larolles, "when you know sowell what I mean, and when all the town knows as well as myself. "

Cecilia then seriously enquired whether she had really any meaning atall. 

"Lord yes, " answered she, "you know I mean about Sir Robert Floyer:for I'm told you've quite refused Lord Derford. "

"And are you also told that I have accepted Sir Robert Floyer?"

"O dear yes!--the jewels are bought, and the equipages are built; it'squite a settled thing, I know very well. "

Cecilia then very gravely began an attempt to undeceive her; but thedancing beginning also at the same time, she stayed not to hear her, hurrying, with a beating heart, to the place of action. Mr Moncktonand his fair partner then followed, mutually exclaiming against MrHarrel's impenetrable conduct; of which Cecilia, however, in a shorttime ceased wholly to think, for as soon as the first cotillon wasover, she perceived young Delvile just walking into the room. 

Surprise, pleasure and confusion assailed her all at once; she hadentirely given up her expectation of seeing him, and an absence sodetermined had led her to conclude he had pursuits which ought to makeher join in wishing it lengthened; but now he appeared, thatconclusion, with the fears that gave rise to it, vanished; and sheregretted nothing but the unfortunate succession of engagements whichwould prevent her dancing with him at all, and probably keep off allconversation with him till supper time. 

She soon, however, perceived a change in his air and behaviour thatextremely astonished her: he looked grave and thoughtful, saluted herat a distance, shewed no sign of any intention to approach her, regarded the dancing and dancers as a public spectacle in which he hadno chance of personal interest, and seemed wholly altered, not merelywith respect to her, but to himself, as his former eagerness for hersociety was not more abated than [his] former general gaiety. 

She had no time, however, for comments, as she was presently called tothe second cotillon; but the confused and unpleasant ideas which, without waiting for time or reflection, crowded upon her imaginationon observing his behaviour, were not more depressing to herself, thanobvious to her partner; Mr Monckton by the change in her countenancefirst perceived the entrance of young Delvile, and by her apparentemotion and uneasiness, readily penetrated into the state of hermind; he was confirmed that her affections were engaged; he saw, too, that she was doubtful with what return. 

The grief with which he made the first discovery, was somewhatlessened by the hopes he conceived from, the second; yet the eveningwas to him as painful as to Cecilia, since he now knew that whateverprosperity' might ultimately attend his address and assiduity, herheart was not her own to bestow; and that even were he sure of youngDelvile's indifference, and actually at liberty to make proposals forhimself, the time of being first in her esteem was at an end, and thelong-earned good opinion which he had hoped would have ripened intoaffection, might now be wholly undermined by the sudden impression ofa lively stranger, without trouble to himself, and perhaps withoutpleasure!

Reflections such as these wholly embittered the delight he hadpromised himself from dancing with her, and took from him all power tocombat the anxiety with which she was seized; when the secondcotillon, therefore, was over, instead of following her to a seat, ortaking the privilege of his present situation to converse with her, the jealousy rising in his breast robbed him of all satisfaction, andgave to him no other desire than to judge its justice by watching hermotions at a distance. 

Mean while Cecilia, inattentive whether he accompanied or quitted herproceeded to the first vacant seat. Young Delvile was standing nearit, and, in a short time, but rather as if he could not avoid than asif he wished it, he came to enquire how she did. 

The simplest question, in the then situation of her mind, wassufficient to confuse her, and though she answered, she hardly knewwhat he had asked. A minute's recollection, however, restored anapparent composure, and she talked to him of Mrs Delvile, with herusual partial regard for that lady, and with an earnest endeavour toseem unconscious of any alteration in his behaviour. 

Yet, to him, even this trifling and general conversation was evidentlypainful, and he looked relieved by the approach of Sir Robert Floyer, who soon after joined them. 

At this time a young lady who was sitting by Cecilia, called to aservant who was passing, for a glass of lemonade: Cecilia desired hewould bring her one also; but Delvile, not sorry to break off thediscourse, said he would himself be her cup-bearer, and for thatpurpose went away. 

A moment after, the servant returned with some lemonade to Cecilia'sneighbour, and Sir Robert, taking a glass from him, brought it toCecilia at the very instant young Delvile came with another. 

"I think I am before hand with you, Sir, " said the insolent Baronet. 

"No, Sir, " answered young Delvile, "I think we were both in together:Miss Beverley, however, is steward of the race, and we must submit toher decision. "

"Well, madam, " cried Sir Robert, "here we stand, waiting yourpleasure. Which is to be the happy man!"

"Each, I hope, " answered Cecilia, with admirable presence of mind, "since I expect no less than that you will both do me the honour ofdrinking my health. "

This little contrivance, which saved her alike from shewing favour orgiving offence, could not but be applauded by both parties: and whilethey obeyed her orders, she took a third glass herself from theservant. 

While this was passing, Mr Briggs, again perceiving her, stumpthastily towards her, calling out "Ah ha! my duck! what's that? gotsomething nice? Come here, my lad, taste it myself. "

He then took a glass, but having only put it to his mouth, made a wryface, and returned it, saying "Bad! bad! poor punch indeed!--not adrop of rum in it!

"So much the better, Sir, " cried Morrice, who diverted himself byfollowing him, "for then you see the master of the house spares insomething, and you said he spared in nothing. "

"Don't spare in fools!" returned Mr Briggs, "keeps them in plenty. "

"No, Sir, nor in any out of the way characters, " answered Morrice. 

"So much the worse, " cried Briggs, "so much the worse! Eat him out ofhouse and home; won't leave him a rag to his back nor a penny in hispocket. Never mind 'em, my little duck; mind none of your guardiansbut me: t'other two a'n't worth a rush. "

Cecilia, somewhat ashamed of this speech, looked towards youngDelvile, in whom it occasioned the first smile she had seen thatevening. 

"Been looking about for you!" continued Briggs, nodding sagaciously;"believe I've found one will do. Guess what I mean;--£100, 0000--hay?--what say to that? any thing better at the west end of the town?"

"£100, 000!" cried Morrice, "and pray, Sir, who may this be?"

"Not you, Mr jackanapes! sure of that. A'n't quite positive he'll haveyou, neither. Think he will, though. "

"Pray; Sir, what age is he?" cried the never daunted Morrice. 

"Why about--let's see--don't know, never heard, --what signifies?"

"But, Sir, he's an old man, I suppose, by being so rich?"

"Old? no, no such thing; about my own standing. "

"What, Sir, and do you propose him for an husband to Miss Beverley?"

"Why not? know ever a one warmer? think Master Harrel will get her abetter? or t'other old Don, in the grand square?"

"If you please, Sir, " cried Cecilia hastily, "we will talk of thismatter another time. "

"No, pray, " cried young Delvile, who could not forbear laughing, "letit be discussed now. "

"Hate 'em, " continued Mr Briggs, "hate 'em both! one spending morethan he's worth, cheated and over-reached by fools, running into gaolto please a parcel of knaves; t'other counting nothing but uncles andgrandfathers, dealing out fine names instead of cash, casting up morecousins than guineas--"

Again Cecilia endeavoured to silence him, but, only chucking her underthe chin, he went on, "Ay, ay, my little duck, never mind 'em; one of'em i'n't worth a penny, and t'other has nothing in his pockets butlists of the defunct. What good will come of that? would not givetwopence a dozen for 'em! A poor set of grandees, with nothing but atie-wig for their portions!"

Cecilia, unable to bear this harangue in the presence of youngDelvile, who, however, laughed it off with a very good grace, arosewith an intention to retreat, which being perceived by Sir RobertFloyer, who had attended to this dialogue with haughty contempt, hecame forward, and said, "now then, madam, may I have the honour ofyour hand?"

"No, Sir, " answered Cecilia, "I am engaged. "

"Engaged again?" cried he, with the air of a man who thought himselfmuch injured. 

"Glad of it, glad of it!" said Mr Briggs; "served very right! havenothing to say to him, my chick!"

"Why not, Sir?" cried Sir Robert, with an imperious look. 

"Sha'n't have her, sha'n't have her! can tell you that; won't consent;know you of old. " "And what do you know of me, pray Sir?"

"No good, no good; nothing to say to you; found fault with my nose!ha'n't forgot it. "

At this moment Mr Marriot came to claim his partner, who, very willingto quit this scene of wrangling and vulgarity, immediately attendedhim. Miss Larolles, again flying up to her, said "O my dear, we areall expiring to know who that creature is! I never saw such a horridfright in my life!"

Cecilia was beginning to satisfy her, but some more young ladiescoming up to join in the request, she endeavoured to pass on; "O but, "cried Miss Larolles, detaining her, "do pray stop, for I've somethingto tell you that's so monstrous you've no idea. Do you know Mr Meadowshas not danced at all! and he's been standing with Mr Sawyer, andlooking on all the time, and whispering and laughing so you've nonotion. However, I assure you, I'm excessive glad he did not ask me, for all I have been sitting still all this time, for I had a greatdeal rather sit still, I assure you: only I'm sorry I put on thisdress, for any thing would have done just to look on in that stupidmanner. "

Here Mr Meadows sauntered towards them; and all the young ladies beganplaying with their fans, and turning their heads another way, todisguise the expectations his approach awakened; and Miss Larolles, ina hasty whisper to Cecilia, cried, "Pray don't take any notice of whatI said, for if he should happen to ask me, I can't well refuse him, you know, for if I do, he'll be so excessive affronted you can'tthink. "

Mr Meadows then, mixing in the little group, began, with sundrygrimaces, to exclaim "how intolerably hot it is! there's no such thingas breathing. How can anybody think of dancing! I am amazed Mr Harrelhas not a ventilator in this room. Don't you think it would be a greatimprovement?"

This speech, though particularly addressed to no one, receivedimmediately an assenting answer from all the young ladies. 

Then, turning to Miss Larolles, "Don't you dance?" he said. 

"Me?" cried she, embarrassed, "yes, I believe so, --really I don'tknow, --I a'n't quite determined. "

"O, do dance!" cried he, stretching himself and yawning, "it alwaysgives me spirits to see you. "

Then, turning suddenly to Cecilia, without any previous ceremony ofrenewing his acquaintance, either by speaking or bowing, he abruptlysaid "Do you love dancing, ma'am?"

"Yes, Sir, extremely well. "

"I'm very glad to hear it. You have one thing, then, to softenexistence. "

"Do you dislike it yourself?"

"What dancing? Oh dreadful! how it was ever adopted in a civilizedcountry I cannot find out; 'tis certainly a Barbarian exercise, and ofsavage origin. Don't you think so, Miss Larolles?"

"Lord no, " cried Miss Larolles, "I assure you I like it better thanany thing; I know nothing so delightful, I declare I dare say I couldnot live without it; I should be so stupid you can't conceive. "

"Why I remember, " said Mr Marriot, "when Mr Meadows was always dancinghimself. Have you forgot, Sir, when you used to wish the night wouldlast for ever, that you might dance without ceasing?"

Mr Meadows, who was now intently surveying a painting that was overthe chimney-piece, seemed of to hear this question, but presentlycalled out "I am amazed Mr Harrel can suffer such a picture as this tobe in his house. I hate a portrait, 'tis so wearisome looking at athing that is doing nothing!"

"Do you like historical pictures, Sir, any better?"

"O no, I detest them! views of battles, murders, and death! Shocking!shocking!--I shrink from them with horror!"

"Perhaps you are fond of landscapes?"

"By no means! Green trees and fat cows! what do they tell one? I hateevery thing that is insipid. "

"Your toleration, then, " said Cecilia, "will not be very extensive. "

"No, " said he, yawning, "one can tolerate nothing! one's patience iswholly exhausted by the total tediousness of every thing one sees, andevery body one talks with. Don't you find it so, ma'am?""_Sometimes_!" said Cecilia, rather archly. 

"You are right, ma'am, extremely right; one does not know what in theworld to do with one's self. At home, one is killed with meditation, abroad, one is overpowered by ceremony; no possibility of finding easeor comfort. You never go into public, I think, ma'am?"

"Why not to be much _marked_, I find!" said Cecilia, laughing. 

"O, I beg your pardon! I believe I saw you one evening at Almack's: Ireally beg your pardon, but I had quite forgot it. "

"Lord, Mr Meadows, " said Miss Larolles, "don't you know you aremeaning the Pantheon? only conceive how you forget things!"

"The Pantheon, was it? I never know one of those places from another. I heartily wish they were all abolished; I hate public places. 'Tisterrible to be under the same roof with a set of people who would carenothing if they saw one expiring!"

"You are, at least, then, fond of the society of your friends?"

"O no! to be worn out by seeing always the same faces!--one is sick todeath of friends; nothing makes one so melancholy. "

Cecilia now went to join the dancers, and Mr Meadows, turning to MissLarolles, said, "Pray don't let me keep you from dancing; I am afraidyou'll lose your place. "

"No, " cried she, bridling, "I sha'n't dance at all. "

"How cruel!" cried he, yawning, "when you know how it exhilarates meto see you! Don't you think this room is very close? I must go and tryanother atmosphere, --But I hope you will relent, and dance?"

And then, stretching his arms as if half asleep, he sauntered into thenext room, where he flung himself upon a sofa till the ball was over. 

The new partner of Cecilia, who was a wealthy, but very simple youngman, used his utmost efforts to entertain and oblige her, and, flattered by the warmth of his own desire, he fancied that hesucceeded; though, in a state of such suspence and anxiety, a man ofbrighter talents had failed. 

At the end of the two dances, Lord Ernolf again attempted to engageher for his son, but she now excused herself from dancing any more, and sat quietly as a spectatress till the rest of the company gaveover. Mr Marriot, however, would not quit her, and she was compelledto support with him a trifling conversation, which, though irksome toherself, to him, who had not _seen her in her happier hour_, wasdelightful. 

She expected every instant to be again joined by young Delvile, butthe expectation was disappointed; he came not; she concluded he was inanother apartment; the company was summoned to supper, she thenthought it impossible to miss him; but, after waiting and looking forhim in vain, she found he had already left the house. 

The rest of the evening she scarce knew what passed, for she attendedto nothing; Mr Monckton might watch, and Mr Briggs might exhort her, Sir Robert might display his insolence, or Mr Marriot his gallantry, --all was equally indifferent, and equally unheeded; and before halfthe company left the house, she retired to her own room. 

She spent the night in the utmost disturbance; the occurrences of theevening with respect to young Delvile she looked upon as decisive: ifhis absence had chagrined her, his presence had still more shockedher, since, while she was left to conjecture, though she had fears shehad hopes, and though all she saw was gloomy, all she expected waspleasant; but they had now met, and those expectations provedfallacious. She knew not, indeed, how to account for the strangenessof his conduct; but in seeing it was strange, she was convinced it wasunfavourable: he had evidently avoided her while it was in his power, and when, at last, he was obliged to meet her, he was formal, distant, and reserved. 

The more she recollected and dwelt upon the difference of hisbehaviour in their preceding meeting, the more angry as well as amazedshe became at the change, and though she still concluded the pursuitof some other object occasioned it, she could find no excuse for hisfickleness if that pursuit was recent, nor for his caprice if it wasanterior. 

CHAPTER ii. 

A BROAD HINT. 

The next day Cecilia, to drive Delvile a little from her thoughts, which she now no longer wished him to occupy, again made a visit toMiss Belfield, whose society afforded her more consolation than anyother she could procure. 

She found her employed in packing up, and preparing to remove toanother lodging, for her brother, she said, was so much better, thathe did not think it right to continue in so disgraceful a situation. 

She talked with her accustomed openness of her affairs, and theinterest which Cecilia involuntarily took in them, contributed tolessen her vexation in thinking of her own. "The generous friend of mybrother, " said she, "who, though but a new acquaintance to him, hascourted him in all his sorrows, when every body else forsook him, hasbrought him at last into a better way of thinking. He says there is agentleman whose son is soon going abroad, who he is almost sure willlike my brother vastly, and in another week, he is to be introduced tohim. And so, if my mother can but reconcile herself to parting withhim, perhaps we may all do well again. "

"Your mother, " said Cecilia, "when he is gone, will better know thevalue of the blessing she has left in her daughter. "

"O no, madam, no; she is wrapt up in him, and cares nothing for allthe world besides. It was always so, and we have all of us been usedto it. But we have had a sad scene since you were so kind as to comelast; for when she told him what you had done, he was almost out ofhis senses with anger that we had acquainted you with his distress, and he said it was publishing his misery, and undoing whatever hisfriend or himself could do, for it was making him ashamed to appear inthe world, even when his affairs might be better. But I told him againand again that you had as much sweetness as goodness, and instead ofhurting his reputation, would do him nothing but credit. "

"I am sorry, " said Cecilia, "Mrs Belfield mentioned the circumstanceat all; it would have been better, for many reasons, that he shouldnot have heard of it. "

"She hoped it would please him, " answered Miss Belfield, "however, hemade us both promise we would take no such step in future, for he saidwe were not reduced to so much indigence, whatever he was: and that asto our accepting money from other people, that we might save up ourown for him, it would be answering no purpose, for he should thinkhimself a monster to make use of it. "

"And what said your mother?"

"Why she gave him a great many promises that she would never vex himabout it again; and indeed, much as I know we are obliged to you, madam, and gratefully as I am sure I would lay down my life to serveyou, I am very glad in this case that my brother has found it out. Forthough I so much wish him to do something for himself, and not to beso proud, and live in a manner he has no right to do, I think, for allthat, that it is a great disgrace to my' poor father's honest memory, to have us turn beggars after his death, when he left us all so wellprovided for, if we had but known how to be satisfied. "

"There is a natural rectitude in your heart, " said Cecilia, "that theablest casuists could not mend. "

She then enquired whither they were removing, and Miss Belfield toldher to Portland Street, Oxford Road, where they were to have twoapartments up two pair of stairs, and the use of a very good parlour, in which her brother might see his friends. "And this, " added she, "isa luxury for which nobody can blame him, because if he has not theappearance of a decent home, no gentleman will employ him. "

The Padington house, she said, was already let, and her mother wasdetermined not to hire another, but still to live as penuriously aspossible, in order, notwithstanding his remonstrances, to save all shecould of her income for her son. 

Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Mrs Belfield, who very familiarly said she came to tell Cecilia they were _all inthe wrong box_ in letting her son know of the £10 bank note, "for, "continued she, "he has a pride that would grace a duke, and he thinksnothing of his hardships, so long as nobody knows of them. So anothertime we must manage things better, and when we do him any good, notlet him know a word of the matter. We'll settle it all amongourselves, and one day or other he'll be glad enough to thank us. "

Cecilia, who saw Miss Belfield colour with shame at the freedom ofthis hint, now arose to depart: but Mrs Belfield begged her not to goso soon, and pressed her with such urgency to again sit down, that shewas obliged to comply. 

She then began a warm commendation of her son, lavishly praising allhis good qualities, and exalting even his defects, concluding withsaying "But, ma'am, for all he's such a complete gentleman, and forall he's made so much of, he was so diffident, I could not get him tocall and thank you for the present you made him, though, when he wenthis last airing, I almost knelt to him to do it. But, with all hismerit, he wants as much encouragement as a lady, for I can tell you itis not a little will do for him. "

Cecilia, amazed at this extraordinary speech, looked from the motherto the daughter in order to discover its meaning, which, however, wassoon rendered plainer by what followed. 

"But pray now, ma'am, don't think him the more ungrateful for hisshyness, for young ladies so high in the world as you are, must gopretty good lengths before a young man will get courage to speak tothem. And though I have told my son over and over that the ladiesnever like a man the worse for being a little bold, he's so much downin the mouth that it has no effect upon him. But it all comes of hisbeing brought up at the university, for that makes him think he knowsbetter than I can tell him. And so, to be sure, he does. However, forall that, it is a hard thing upon a mother to find all she says goesjust for nothing. But I hope you'll excuse him, ma'am, for it'snothing in the world but his over-modesty. "

Cecilia now stared with a look of so much astonishment anddispleasure, that Mrs Belfield, suspecting she had gone rather toofar, added "I beg you won't take what I've said amiss, ma'am, for wemothers of families are more used to speak out than maiden ladies. AndI should not have said so much, but only I was afraid you wouldmisconstrue my son's backwardness, and so that he might be flung outof your favour at last, and all for nothing but having too muchrespect for you. "

"O dear mother!" cried Miss Belfield, whose face was the colour ofscarlet, "pray!"--

"What's the matter now?" cried Mrs Belfield; "you are as shy as yourbrother; and if we are all to be so, when are we to come to anunderstanding?"

"Not immediately, I believe indeed, " said Cecilia, rising, "but thatwe may not plunge deeper in our mistakes, I will for the present takemy leave. "

"No, ma'am, " cried Mrs Belfield, stopping her, "pray don't go yet, forI've got a great many things I want to talk to you about. In the firstplace, ma'am, pray what is your opinion of this scheme for sending myson abroad into foreign parts? I don't know what you may think of it, but as to me, it half drives me out of my senses to have him takenaway from me at last in that unnatural manner. And I'm sure, ma'am, ifyou would only put in a word against it, I dare say he would give itup without a demur. "

"Me?" cried Cecilia, disengaging herself from her hold, "No, madam, you must apply to those friends who better understand his affairs, andwho would have a deeper interest in detaining him. "

"Lack a day!" cried Mrs Belfield, with scarcely smothered vexation, "how hard it is to make these grand young ladies come to reason! As tomy son's other friends, what good will it do for him to mind what theysay? who can expect him to give up his journey, without knowing whatamends he shall get for it?"

"You must settle this matter with him at your leisure, " said Cecilia, "I cannot now stay another moment. "

Mrs Belfield, again finding she had been too precipitate, tried todraw back, saying "Pray, ma'am, don't let what I have mentioned goagainst my son in your good opinion, for he knows no more of it thanthe furthest person in the world, as my daughter can testify for as toshyness, he's just as shy as a lady himself; so what good he ever gotat the University, as to the matter of making his fortune, it's what Inever could discover. However, I dare say he knows best; though whenall comes to all, if I was to speak my mind, I think he's made but apoor hand of it. "

Cecilia, who only through compassion to the blushing Henrietta forborerepressing this forwardness more seriously, merely answered MrsBelfield by wishing her good morning: but, while she was taking akinder leave of her timid daughter, the mother added "As to thepresent, ma'am, you was so kind to make us, Henny can witness for meevery penny of it shall go to my son. "

"I rather meant it, " said Cecilia, "for your daughter; but if it is ofuse to any body, my purpose is sufficiently answered. "

Mrs Belfield again pressed her to sit down, but she would not againlisten to her, coldly saying "I am sorry you troubled Mr Belfield withany mention of what passed between his sister and me, but should youspeak of it again, I beg you will explain to him that he had noconcern in that little transaction, which belonged wholly toourselves. "

She then hastened down stairs, followed, however, by Mrs Belfield, making awkward excuses for what she had said, intermixed with frequenthints that she knew all the time she was in the right. 

This little incident, which convinced Cecilia Mrs Belfield was firmlypersuaded she was in love with her son, gave her much uneasiness; shefeared the son himself might entertain the same notion, and thought itmost probable the daughter also had imbibed it, though but for theforward vulgarity of the sanguine mother, their opinions might longhave remained concealed. Her benevolence towards them, notwithstandingits purity, must now therefore cease to be exerted: nor could she evenvisit Miss Belfield, since prudence, and a regard for her owncharacter, seemed immediately to prohibit all commerce with thefamily. 

"And thus difficult, " cried she, "is the blameless use of riches, though: all who want them, think nothing so easy as their disposal!This family I have so much wished to serve, I may at last only haveinjured, since the disappointment of their higher expectations, mayrender all smaller benefits contemptible. And thus this unfortunatemisconstruction of my good offices, robs them of a useful assistant, and deprives me at the same time of an amiable companion. "

As soon as she returned home, she had a letter put into her hand whichcame from Mr Marriot, whose servant had twice called for an answer inthe short time she had been absent. 

This letter contained a most passionate avowal of the impression shehad made on his heart the preceding evening, and an angry complaintthat Mr Harrel had refused to hear his proposals. He entreated herpermission to wait upon her for only five minutes, and concluded withthe most fervent professions of respect and admiration. 

The precipitancy of this declaration served merely to confirm theopinion she had already conceived of the weakness of hisunderstanding: but the obstinacy of Mr Harrel irritated and distressedher, though weary of expostulating with so hopeless a subject, whomneither reason nor gratitude could turn from his own purposes, she wasobliged to submit to his management, and was well content, in thepresent instance, to affirm his decree. She therefore wrote a conciseanswer to her new admirer, in the usual form of civil rejection. 

CHAPTER iii. 

AN ACCOMMODATION. 

Cecilia was informed the next morning that a young woman begged tospeak with her, and upon sending for her up stairs, she saw, to hergreat surprise, Miss Belfield. 

She came in fear and trembling, sent, she said, by her mother, toentreat her pardon for what had passed the preceding day; "But I know, madam, " she added, "you cannot pardon it, and therefore all that Imean to do is to clear my brother from any share in what was said, forindeed he has too much sense to harbour any such presumption; and tothank you with a most grateful heart for all the goodness you haveshewn us. "

And then, modestly courtsying, she would have returned home; butCecilia, much touched by her gentleness, took her hand, and kindlyreviving her by assurances of esteem, entreated that she wouldlengthen her stay. 

"How good is this, madam, " said she, "after having so much reason tothink so ill of me and of all of us I tried all in my power toundeceive my mother, or at least to keep her quiet; but she was somuch persuaded she was right, that she never would listen to me, andalways said, did I suppose it was for _me_ you condescended tocome so often?"

"Yes, " answered Cecilia, "most undoubtedly; had I not known you, however well I might have wished your brother, I should certainly nothave visited at his house. But I am very happy to hear the mistake hadspread no further. "

"No indeed, madam, I never once thought of it; and as to my brother, when my mother only hinted it to him, he was quite angry. But though Idon't mean to vindicate what has happened, you will not, I hope, bedispleased if I say my mother is much more pardonable than she seemsto be, for the same mistake she made with you, she would have been asapt to have made with a princess; it was not, therefore, from any wantof respect, but merely from thinking my brother might marry as high ashe pleased, and believing no lady would refuse him, if he would buthave the courage to speak. "

Cecilia assured her she would think no more of the error, but told herthat to avoid its renewal, she must decline calling upon her againtill her brother was gone. She begged therefore to see her in Portman-square whenever she had leisure, repeatedly assuring her of her goodopinion and regard, and of the pleasure with which she should seizeevery opportunity of skewing them. 

Delighted by a reception so kind, Miss Belfield remained with her allthe morning; and when at last she was obliged to leave her, she wasbut too happy in being solicited to repeat her visit. 

She suffered one day only to elapse before she skewed her readiness toaccept the friendship that was offered her; and Cecilia, much pleasedby this eagerness, redoubled her efforts to oblige and to serve her. 

From this time, hardly a day passed in which she did not call inPostman-square, where nothing in her reception was omitted that couldcontribute to her contentment. Cecilia was glad to employ her mind inany way that related not to Delvile, whom she now earnestlyendeavoured to think of no more, denying herself even the pleasure oftalking of him with Miss Belfield, by the name of _her brother'snoble friend_. 

During this time she devised various methods, all too delicate to giveeven the shadow of offence, for making both useful and ornamentalpresents to her new favourite, with whom she grew daily moresatisfied, and to whom she purposed hereafter offering a residence inher own house. 

The trial of intimacy, so difficult to the ablest to stand, and fromwhich even the most' faultless are so rarely acquitted, Miss Belfieldsustained with honour. Cecilia found her artless, ingenuous, andaffectionate; her understanding was good, though no pains had beentaken to improve it; her disposition though ardent was soft, and hermind seemed informed by intuitive integrity. 

She communicated to Cecilia all the affairs of her family, disguisingfrom her neither distress nor meanness, and seeking to palliatenothing but the grosser parts of the character of her mother. Sheseemed equally ready to make known to her even the most chosen secretsof her own bosom, for that such she had was evident, from a frequentappearance of absence and uneasiness which she took but little troubleto conceal. Cecilia, however, trusted not herself, in the presentcritical situation of her own mind, with any enquiries that might leadto a subject she was conscious she ought not to dwell upon: a shorttime, she hoped, would totally remove her suspence; but as she hadmuch less reason to expect good than evil, she made it her immediatestudy to prepare for the worst, and therefore carefully avoided alldiscourse that by nourishing her tenderness, might weaken herresolution. 

While thus, in friendly conversation and virtuous forbearance, passedgravely, but not unhappily, the time of Cecilia, the rest of the housewas very differently employed: feasting, revelling, amusements of allsorts were pursued with more eagerness than ever, and the alarm whichso lately threatened their destruction, seemed now merely to heightenthe avidity with which they were sought. Yet never was the disunion ofhappiness and diversion more striking and obvious; Mr Harrel, in spiteof his natural levity, was seized from time to time with fits ofhorror that embittered his gayest moments, and cast a cloud upon allhis enjoyments. Always an enemy to solitude, he now found it whollyinsupportable, and ran into company of any sort, less from a hope offinding entertainment, than from a dread of spending half an hour byhimself. 

Cecilia, who saw that his rapacity for pleasure encreased with hisuneasiness, once more ventured to speak with his lady upon the subjectof reformation; counselling her to take advantage of his presentapparent discontent, which showed at least some sensibility of hissituation, in order to point out to him the necessity of an immediateinspection into his affairs, which, with a total change in his way oflife, was her only chance for snatching him from the dismaldespondency into which he was sinking. 

Mrs Harrel declared herself unequal to following this advice, and saidthat her whole study was to find Mr Harrel amusement, for he was grownso ill-humoured and petulant she quite feared being alone with him. 

The house therefore now was more crowded than ever, and nothing butdissipation was thought of. Among those who upon this plan werecourted to it, the foremost was Mr Morrice, who, from a peculiartalent of uniting servility of conduct with gaiety of speech, madehimself at once so agreeable and useful in the family, that in a shorttime they fancied it impossible to live without him. And Morrice, though his first view in obtaining admittance had been the cultivationof his acquaintance with Cecilia, was perfectly satisfied with theturn that matters had taken, since his utmost vanity had never led himto entertain any matrimonial hopes with her, and he thought hisfortune as likely to profit from the civility of her friends as ofherself. For Morrice, however flighty, and wild, had always at heartthe study of his own interest; and though from a giddy forwardness ofdisposition he often gave offence, his meaning and his seriousattention was not the less directed to the advancement of his ownaffairs: he formed no connection from which he hoped not some benefit, and he considered the acquaintance and friendship of his superiors inno other light than that of procuring him sooner or laterrecommendations to new clients. 

Sir Robert Floyer also was more frequent than ever in his visits, andMr Harrel, notwithstanding the remonstrances of Cecilia, contrivedevery possible opportunity of giving him access to her. Mrs Harrelherself, though hitherto neutral, now pleaded his cause withearnestness; and Mr Arnott, who had been her former refuge from thispersecution, grew so serious and so tender in his devoirs, that unableany longer to doubt the sentiments she had inspired, she was compelledeven with him to be guarded and distant. 

She now with daily concern looked back to the sacrifice she had madeto the worthless and ungrateful Mr Harrel, and was sometimes temptedto immediately chuse another guardian, and leave his house for ever:yet the delicacy of her disposition was averse to any step that mightpublicly expose him, and her early regard for his wife would notsuffer her to put it in execution. 

These circumstances contributed strongly to encrease her intimacy withMiss Belfield; she now never saw Mrs Delvile, whom alone she preferredto her, and from the troublesome assiduity of Sir Robert, scarce evermet Mr Monckton but in his presence: she found, therefore, no resourceagainst teazing and vexation, but what was afforded her by theconversation of the amiable Henrietta. 

CHAPTER iv. 

A DETECTION. 

A fortnight had now elapsed in which Cecilia had had no sort ofcommunication with the Delviles, whom equally from pride and fromprudence she forbore to seek for herself, when one morning, while shewas sitting with Miss Belfield, her maid told her that young MrDelvile was in the drawing-room, and begged the honour of seeing herfor a few moments. 

Cecilia, though she started and changed colour with surprize at thismessage, was unconscious she did either, from the yet greater surpriseshe received by the behaviour of Miss Belfield, who hastily arising, exclaimed "Good God, Mr Delvile!--do you know Mr Delvile, madam?--doesMr Delvile visit at this house?"

"Sometimes; not often, " answered Cecilia; "but why?"

"I don't know, --nothing, madam, --I only asked by accident, I believe, --but it's very--it's extremely--I did not know"--and colouringviolently, she again sat down. 

An apprehension the most painful now took possession of Cecilia, andabsorbed in thought, she continued for some minutes silent andimmoveable. 

From this state she was awakened by her maid, who asked if she choseto have her gloves. 

Cecilia, taking them from her without speaking, left the room, and notdaring to stop for enquiry or consideration, hastened down stairs; butwhen she entered the apartment where young Delvile was waiting forher, all utterance seemed denied her, and she courtsied without sayinga word. 

Struck with the look and uncommon manner of her entrance, he became ina moment as much disturbed as herself, pouring forth a thousandunnecessary and embarrassed apologies for his visit, and so totallyforgetting even the reason why he made it, that he had taken his leaveand was departing before he recollected it. He then turned back, forcing a laugh at his own absence of mind, and told her he had onlycalled to acquaint her, that the commands with which she had honouredhim were now obeyed, and, he hoped, to her satisfaction. 

Cecilia, who knew not she had ever given him any, waited his furtherexplanation; and he then informed her he had that very morningintroduced Mr Belfield to the Earl of Vannelt, who had already heardhim very advantageously spoken of by some gentlemen to whom he hadbeen known at the University, and who was so much pleased with himupon this first interview, that he meant, after a few enquiries, whichcould not but turn out to his credit, to commit his eldest son to histrust in making the tour of Europe. 

Cecilia thanked him for her share in the trouble he had taken in thistransaction; and then asked if Mrs Delvile continued well. 

"Yes, " answered he, with a smile half reproachful, "as well as one whohaving ever hoped your favour, can easily be after finding that hopedisappointed. But much as she has taught her son, there is one lessonshe might perhaps learn from him;--to fly, not seek, those dangerousindulgences of which the deprivation is the loss of peace!"

He then bowed, and made his exit. 

This unexpected reproof, and the yet more unexpected compliment thataccompanied it, in both which _more seemed meant than met theear_, encreased the perturbation into which Cecilia had alreadybeen thrown. It occurred to her that under the sanction of hismother's name, he had taken an opportunity of making an apology forhis own conduct; yet why avoiding her society, if to that he alluded, should be _flying a dangerous indulgence_, she could not understand, since he had so little reason to fear any repulse in continuing to seek it. 

Sorry, however, for the abrupt manner in which she had left MissBelfield, she lost not a moment in hastening back to her; but when shecame into the room, she found her employed in looking out of thewindow, her eye following some object with such earnestness ofattention, that she perceived not her return. 

Cecilia, who could not doubt the motive of her curiosity, had no greatdifficulty in forbearing to offer her any interruption. She drew herhead back in a few minutes, and casting it upwards, with her handsclasped, softly whispered, "Heaven ever shield and bless him! and Omay he never feel such pain as I do!"

She then again looked out, but soon drawing herself in, said, in thesame soft accents, "Oh why art thou gone! sweetest and noblest of men!why might I not see thee longer, when, under heaven, there is no otherblessing I wish for!"

A sigh which at these words escaped Cecilia made her start and turntowards the door; the deepest blushes overspread the cheeks of both astheir eyes met each other, and while Miss Belfield trembled in everylimb at the discovery she had made, Cecilia herself was hardly able tostand. 

A painful and most embarrassed silence succeeded, which was onlybroken by Miss Belfield's bursting into tears. 

Cecilia, extremely moved, forgot for a moment her own interest in whatwas passing, and tenderly approaching, embraced her with the utmostkindness: but still she spoke not, fearing to make an enquiry, fromdreading to hear any explanation. 

Miss Belfield, soothed by her softness, clung about her, and hidingher face in her arms, sobbed out, "Ah madam! who ought to be unhappyif befriended by you! if I could help it, I would love nobody else inalmost the whole world. But you must let me leave you now, andto-morrow I will tell you every thing. "

Cecilia, who had no wish for making any opposition, embraced heragain, and suffered her quietly to depart. 

Her own mind was now in a state of the utmost confusion. The rectitudeof her heart and the soundness of her judgment had hitherto guardedher both from error and blame, and, except during her recent suspence, had preserved her tranquility inviolate: but her commerce with theworld had been small and confined, and her actions had had littlereference but to herself. The case was now altered; and she wassuddenly in a conjuncture of all others the most delicate, that ofaccidentally discovering a rival in a favourite friend. 

The fondness she had conceived for Miss Belfield, and the sincerity ofher intentions as well as promises to serve her, made the detection ofthis secret peculiarly cruel: she had lately felt no pleasure but inher society, and looked forward to much future comfort from thecontinuance of her regard, and from their constantly living together:but now this was no longer even to be desired, since the utterannihilation of the wishes of both, by young Delvile's being disposedof to a third person, could alone render eligible their dwelling underthe same roof. 

Her pity, however, for Miss Belfield was almost wholly unallayed byjealousy; she harboured not any suspicion that she was loved by youngDelvile, whose aspiring spirit led her infinitely more to fear somehigher rival, than to believe he bestowed even a thought upon the poorHenrietta: but still she wished with the utmost ardour to know thelength of their acquaintance, how often they had met, when they hadconversed, what notice he had taken of her, and how so dangerous apreference had invaded her heart. 

But though this curiosity was both natural and powerful, her principalconcern was the arrangement of her own conduct: the next day MissBelfield was to tell her every thing by a voluntary promise; but shedoubted if she had any right to accept such a confidence. MissBelfield, she was sure, knew not she was interested in the tale, sinceshe had not even imagined that Delvile was known to her. She mighthope, therefore, not only for advice but assistance, and fancy thatwhile she reposed her secret in the bosom of a friend, she securedherself her best offices and best wishes for ever. 

Would she obtain them? no; the most romantic generosity would revoltfrom such a demand, for however precarious was her own chance withyoung Delvile, Miss Belfield she was sure could not have any: neitherher birth nor education fitted her for his rank in life, and even wereboth unexceptionable, the smallness of her fortune, as Mr Monckton hadinstructed her, would be an obstacle insurmountable. 

Would it not be a kind of treachery to gather from her every thing, yet aid her in nothing? to take advantage of her unsuspicious opennessin order to learn all that related to one whom she yet hoped wouldbelong ultimately to herself, and gratify an interested curiosity atthe expence of a candour not more simple than amiable? "No, " criedCecilia, "arts that I could never forgive, I never will practice; thissweet, but unhappy girl shall tell me nothing: betrayed already by thetenderness of her own heart, she shall at least suffer no further fromany duplicity in mine. If, indeed, Mr Delvile, as I suspect, isengaged elsewhere, I will make this gentle Henrietta the object of myfuture solicitude: the sympathy of our situations will not then dividebut unite us, and I will take her to my bosom, hear all her sorrows, and calm her troubled spirit by participating in her sensibility. Butif, on the contrary, this mystery ends more happily for myself, if MrDelvile has now no other engagement, and hereafter clears his conductto my satisfaction, I will not be accessory to loading her futurerecollection with the shame of a confidence she then cannot butrepent, nor with an injury to her delicacy that may wound it forever. "

She determined, therefore, carefully to avoid the subject for thepresent, since she could offer no advice for which she might not, hereafter, be suspected of selfish motives; but yet, from a realregard to the tender-hearted girl, to give all the tacitdiscouragement that was in her power, to a passion which she firmlybelieved would be productive of nothing but misery. 

Once, from the frankness natural to her disposition, she thought notmerely of receiving but returning her confidence: her better judgment, however, soon led her from so hazardous a plan, which could only haveexposed them both to a romantic humiliation, by which, in the end, their mutual expectations might prove sources of mutual distrust. 

When Miss Belfield, therefore, the next morning, her air unusuallytimid, and her whole face covered with blushes, made her visit, Cecilia, not seeming to notice her confusion, told her she was verysorry she was obliged to go out herself, and contrived, under variouspretences, to keep her maid in the room. Miss Belfield, supposing thisto be accidental, rejoiced in her imaginary reprieve, and soonrecovered her usual chearfulness: and Cecilia, who really meant tocall upon Mrs Delvile, borrowed Mrs Harrel's carriage, and set downher artless young friend at her new lodgings in Portland-street, before she proceeded to St James's-square, talking the whole timeupon matters of utter indifference. 

CHAPTER v. 

A SARCASM. 

The reproach which Cecilia had received from young Delvile in the nameof his mother, determined her upon making this visit; for though, inher present uncertainty, she wished only to see that family whensought by themselves, she was yet desirous to avoid all appearance ofsingularity, lest any suspicions should be raised of her sentiments. 

Mrs Delvile received her with a cold civility that chilled andafflicted her: she found her seriously offended by her long absence, and now for the first time perceived that haughtiness of characterwhich hitherto she had thought only given to her by the calumny ofenvy; for though her displeasure was undisguised, she deigned not tomake any reproaches, evidently shewing that her disappointment in theloss of her society, was embittered by a proud regret for the kindnessshe believed she had thrown away. But though she scrupulously forborethe smallest complaint, she failed not from time to time to cast outreflections upon fickleness and caprice the most satirical andpointed. 

Cecilia, who could not possibly avow the motives of her behaviour, ventured not to offer any apology for her apparent negligence; but, hitherto accustomed to the most distinguished kindness, a change to somuch bitterness shocked and overpowered her, and she sat almost whollysilent, and hardly able to look up. 

Lady Honoria Pemberton, a daughter of the Duke of Derwent, now cameinto the room, and afforded her some relief by the sprightliness ofher conversation. This young lady, who was a relation of the Delviles, and of a character the most airy and unthinking, ran on during herwhole visit in a vein of fashionable scandal, with a levity that thecensures of Mrs Delvile, though by no means spared, had no power to[controul]: and, after having completely ransacked the topics of theday, she turned suddenly to Cecilia, with whom during her residence inSt James's-square she had made some acquaintance, and said, "So Ihear, Miss Beverley, that after half the town has given you to SirRobert Floyer, and the other half to my Lord Derford, you intend, without regarding one side or the other, to disappoint them both, andgive yourself to Mr Marriot. "

"Me? no, indeed, " answered Cecilia, "your ladyship has been muchmisinformed. "

"I hope so, " said Mrs Delvile, "for Mr Marriot, by all I ever heard ofhim, seems to have but one recommendation, and that the last MissBeverley ought to value, a good estate. "

Cecilia, secretly delighted by a speech which she could not resistflattering herself had reference to her son, now a little revived, andendeavoured to bear some part in the conversation. 

"Everybody one meets, " cried Lady Honoria, "disposes of Miss Beverleyto some new person; yet the common opinion is that Sir Robert Floyerwill be the man. But upon my word, for my own part, I cannotconjecture how she will manage among them, for Mr Marriot declareshe's determined he won't be refused, and Sir Robert vows that he'llnever give her up. So we none of us know how it will end; but I amvastly glad she keeps them so long in suspence. "

"If there is any suspence, " said Cecilia, "I am at least sure it mustbe wilful. But why should your ladyship rejoice in it?"

"O, because it helps to torment them, and keeps something goingforward. Besides, we are all looking in the news-papers every day, tosee when they'll fight another duel for you. "

"Another?" cried Cecilia; "indeed they have never yet fought any forme. "

"O, I beg your pardon, " answered her ladyship, "Sir Robert, you know, fought one for you in the beginning of the winter, with that Irishfortune-hunter who affronted you at the Opera. "

"Irish fortune-hunter?" repeated Cecilia, "how strangely has thatquarrel been misrepresented! In the first place, I never was affrontedat the Opera at all, and in the second, if your Ladyship means MrBelfield, I question if he ever was in Ireland in his life. "

"Well, " cried Lady Honoria, "he might come from Scotland, for aught Iknow, but somewhere he certainly came from; and they tell me he iswounded terribly, and Sir Robert has had all his things packed up thismonth, that in case he should die, he may go abroad in a moment. "

"And pray where, Lady Honoria, " cried Mrs Delvile, "do you contrive topick up all this rattle?"

"O, I don't know; everybody tells me something, so I put it alltogether as well as I can. But I could acquaint you with a strangerpiece of news than any you have heard yet. "

"And what is that?"

"O, if I let you know it, you'll tell your son. "

"No indeed, " said Mrs Delvile laughing, "I shall probably forget itmyself. "

She then made some further difficulty, and Cecilia, uncertain if shewas meant to be a party in the communication, strolled to a window;where, however, as Lady Honoria did not lower her voice, she heard hersay "Why you must know I am told he keeps a mistress somewhere inOxford-Road. They say she's mighty pretty; I should like vastly to seeher. "

The consternation of Cecilia at this intelligence would certainly havebetrayed all she so much wished to conceal, had not her fortunateremoval to the window guarded her from observation. She kept her post, fearing to look round, but was much pleased when Mrs Delvile, withgreat indignation answered "I am sorry, Lady Honoria, you can find anyamusement in listening to such idle scandal, which those who tell willnever respect you for hearing. In times less daring in slander, thecharacter of Mortimer would have proved to him a shield from allinjurious aspersions; yet who shall wonder he could not escape, andwho shall contemn the inventors of calumny, if Lady Honoria Pembertoncondescends to be entertained with it?"

"Dear Mrs Delvile, " cried Lady Honoria, giddily, "you take me tooseriously. "

"And dear Lady Honoria, " said Mrs Delvile, "I would it were possibleto make you take yourself seriously; for could you once see withclearness and precision how much you lower your own dignity, while youstoop to depreciate that of others, the very subjects that now makeyour diversion, would then, far more properly, move your resentment. "

"Ay but, dear madam, " cried Lady Honoria, "if that were the case, Ishould be quite perfect, and then you and I should never quarrel, andI don't know what we should do for conversation. "

And with these words, hastily shaking hands with her, she took leave. 

"Such conversation, " said Mrs Delvile when she was gone, "as resultsfrom the mixture of fruitless admonition with incorrigible levity, would be indeed _more honoured in the breach than the observance_. But levity is so much the fashionable characteristic of the present age, that a gay young girl who, like Lady Honoria Pemberton, rules the friendsby whom she ought to be ruled, had little chance of escaping it. "

"She seems so open, however, to reproof, " said Cecilia, "that I shouldhope in a short time she may also be open to conviction. "

"No, " answered Mrs Delvile, "I have no hope of her at all. I once tookmuch pains with her; but I soon found that the easiness with which shehears of her faults, is only another effect of the levity with whichshe commits them. But if the young are never tired of erring inconduct, neither are the older in erring in judgment; the fallibilityof _mine_ I have indeed very lately experienced. "

Cecilia, who strongly felt the poignancy of this sarcasm, and whoseconstant and unaffected value of Mrs Delvile by no means deserved it, was again silenced, and again most cruelly depressed: nor could shesecretly forbear repining that at the very moment she found herselfthreatened with a necessity of foregoing the society of her newfavourite, Miss Belfield, the woman in the whole world whom she mostwished to have for her friend, from an unhappy mistake was ready torelinquish her. Grieved to be thus fallen in her esteem, and shockedthat she could offer no justification, after a short and thoughtfulpause, she gravely arose to take leave. 

Mrs Delvile then told her that if she had any business to transactwith Mr Delvile, she advised her to acquaint him with it soon, as thewhole family left town in a few days. 

This was a new and severe blow to Cecilia, who sorrowfully repeated"In a few days, madam?"

"Yes, " answered Mrs Delvile, "I hope you intend to be much concerned?"

"Ah madam!" cried Cecilia, who could no longer preserve her quietness, "if you knew but half the respect I bear you, but half the sinceritywith which I value and revere you, all protestations would be useless, for all accusations would be over!"

Mrs Delvile, at once surprised and softened by the warmth of thisdeclaration, instantly took her hand, and said "They shall now, andfor ever be over, if it pains you to hear them. I concluded that whatI said would be a matter of indifference to you, or all my displeasurewould immediately have been satisfied, when once I had intimated thatyour absence had excited it. "

"That I have excited it at all, " answered Cecilia, "gives me indeedthe severest uneasiness; but believe me, madam, however unfortunatelyappearances maybe against me, I have always had the highest sense ofthe kindness with which you have honoured me, and never has there beenthe smallest abatement in the veneration, gratitude, and affection Ihave inviolably borne you. "

"You see, then, " said Mrs Delvile with a smile, that where reprooftakes any effect, it is not received: with that easiness you were justnow admiring: on the contrary, where a concession is made withoutpain, it is also made without meaning, for it is not in human natureto project any amendment without a secret repugnance. That here, however, you should differ from Lady Honoria Pemberton, who canwonder, when you are superior to all comparison with her in everything?"

"Will you then, " said Cecilia, "accept my apology, and forgive me?"

"I will do more, " said Mrs Delvile laughing, "I will forgive you_without_ an apology; for the truth is I have heard none! Butcome, " continued she, perceiving Cecilia much abashed by thiscomment, "I will enquire no more about the matter; I am glad toreceive my young friend again, and even half ashamed, deserving as sheis, to say _how_ glad!"

She then embraced her affectionately, and owned she had been moremortified by her fancied desertion than she had been willing to owneven to herself, repeatedly assuring her that for many years she hadnot made any acquaintance she so much wished to cultivate, nor enjoyedany society from which she had derived so much pleasure. 

Cecilia, whose eyes glistened with modest joy, while her heart beatquick with revived expectation, in listening to an effusion of praiseso infinitely grateful to her, found little difficulty in returningher friendly professions, and, in a few minutes, was not merelyreconciled, but more firmly united with her than ever. 

Mrs Delvile insisted upon keeping her to dinner, and Cecilia, but toohappy in her earnestness, readily agreed to send Mrs Harrel an excuse. 

Neither of the Mr Delviles spent the day at home, and nothing, therefore, disturbed or interrupted those glowing and delightfulsensations which spring from a cordial renewal of friendship andkindness. The report, indeed, of Lady Honoria Pemberton gave her someuneasiness, yet the flighty character of that lady, and Mrs Delvile'sreply to it, soon made her drive it from her mind. 

She returned home early in the evening, as other company was expected, and she had not changed her dress since the morning; but she firstmade a promise to see Mrs Delvile some part of every day during theshort time that she meant to remain in town. 

CHAPTER vi. 

A SURMISE. 

The next morning opened with another scene; Mrs Harrel ran intoCecilia's room before breakfast, and acquainted her that Mr Harrel hadnot been at home all night. 

The consternation with which she heard this account she instantlyendeavoured to dissipate, in order to soften the apprehension withwhich it was communicated: Mrs Harrel, however, was extremely uneasy, and sent all the town over to make enquiries, but without receivingany intelligence. 

Cecilia, unwilling to leave her in a state of such alarm, wrote anexcuse to Mrs Delvile, that she might continue with her till someinformation was procured. A subject also of such immediate concern, was sufficient apology for avoiding any particular conversation withMiss Belfield, who called, as usual, about noon, and whose susceptibleheart was much affected by the evident disturbance in which she foundCecilia. 

The whole day passed, and no news arrived: but, greatly to herastonishment, Mrs Harrel in the evening prepared for going to anassembly! yet declaring at the, same time it was extremelydisagreeable to her, only she was afraid, if she stayed away, everybody would suppose something was the matter. 

Who then at last, thought Cecilia, are half so much the slaves of theworld as the gay and the dissipated? Those who work for hire, have atleast their hours of rest, those who labour for subsistence are atliberty when subsistence is procured; but those who toil to please thevain and the idle, undertake a task which can never be finished, however scrupulously all private peace, and all internal comfort, maybe sacrificed in reality to the folly of saving appearances!

Losing, however, the motive for which she had given up her ownengagement, she now sent for her chair, in order to spend an hour ortwo with Mrs Delvile. The servants, as they conducted her up stairs, said they would call their lady; and in entering the drawing-room shesaw, reading and alone, young Delvile. 

He seemed much surprised, but received her with the utmost respect, apologizing for the absence of his mother, whom he said had understoodshe was not to see her till the next day, and had left him to writeletters now, that she might then be at liberty. 

Cecilia in return made excuses for her seeming inconsistency; afterwhich, for some time, all conversation dropt. 

The silence was at length broken by young Delvile's saying "MrBelfield's merit has not been thrown away upon Lord Vannelt; he hasheard an excellent character of him from all his former acquaintance, and is now fitting up an apartment for him in his own house till hisson begins his tour. "

Cecilia said she was very happy in hearing such intelligence; and thenagain they were both silent. 

"You have seen, " said young Delvile, after this second pause, "MrBelfield's sister?"

Cecilia, not without changing colour, answered "Yes, Sir. "

"She is very amiable, " he continued, "too amiable, indeed, for hersituation, since her relations, her brother alone excepted, are allutterly unworthy of her. "

He stopt; but Cecilia made no answer, and he presently added "Perhapsyou do not think her amiable?--you may have seen more of her, andknow something to her disadvantage?"

"O no!" cried Cecilia, with a forced alacrity, "but only I wasthinking that--did you say you knew all her relations?"

"No, " he answered, "but when I have been with Mr Belfield, some ofthem have called upon him. "

Again they were both silent; and then Cecilia, ashamed of her apparentbackwardness to give praise, compelled herself to say, "Miss Belfieldis indeed a very sweet girl, and I wish--" she stopt, not well knowingherself what she meant to add. 

"I have been greatly pleased, " said he, after waiting some time tohear if she would finish her speech, "by being informed of yourgoodness to her, and I think she seems equally to require and todeserve it. I doubt not you will extend it to her when she is deprivedof her brother, for then will be the time that by doing her mostservice, it will reflect on yourself most honour. "

Cecilia, confounded by this recommendation, faintly answered"Certainly, --whatever is in my power, --I shall be very glad--"

And just then Mrs Delvile made her appearance, and during the mutualapologies that followed, her son left the room. Cecilia, glad of anypretence to leave it also, insisted upon giving no interruption to MrsDelvile's letter writing, and having promised to spend all the nextday with her, hurried back to her chair. 

The reflections that followed her thither were by no means the mostsoothing: she began now to apprehend that the pity she had bestowedupon Miss Belfield, Miss Belfield in a short time might bestow uponher: at any other time, his recommendation would merely have served toconfirm her opinion of his benevolence, but in her present state ofanxiety and uncertainty, every thing gave birth to conjecture, and hadpower to alarm her. He had behaved to her of late with the strangestcoldness and distance, --his praise of Henrietta had been ready andanimated, --Henrietta she knew adored him, and she knew not with whatreason, --but an involuntary suspicion arose in her mind, that thepartiality she had herself once excited, was now transferred to thatlittle dreaded, but not less dangerous rival. 

Yet, if such was the case, what was to become either of the pride orthe interest of his family? Would his relations ever pardon analliance stimulated neither by rank nor riches? would Mr Delvile, whohardly ever spoke but to the high-born, without seeming to think hisdignity somewhat injured, deign to receive for a daughter-in-law thechild of a citizen and tradesman? would Mrs Delvile herself, littleless elevated in her notions, though infinitely softer in her manners, ever condescend to acknowledge her? Cecilia's own birth andconnections, superior as they were to those of Miss Belfield, wereeven openly disdained by Mr Delvile, and all her expectations of beingreceived into his family were founded upon the largeness of herfortune, in favour of which the brevity of her genealogy might perhapspass unnoticed. But what was the chance of Miss Belfield, who neitherhad ancestors to boast, nor wealth to allure?

This thought, however, awakened all the generosity of her soul; "If, "cried she, "the advantages I possess are merely those of riches, howlittle should I be flattered by any appearance of preference! and howill can I judge with what sincerity it may be offered! happier in thatcase is the lowly Henrietta, who to poverty may attribute neglect, butwho can only be sought and caressed from motives of purest regard. Sheloves Mr Delvile, loves him with the most artless affection;--perhaps, too, he loves her in return, --why else his solicitude to know myopinion of her, and why so sudden his alarm when he thought itunfavourable? Perhaps he means to marry her, and to sacrifice to herinnocence and her attractions all plans of ambition, and all views ofaggrandizement:--thrice happy Henrietta, if such is thy prospect offelicity! to have inspired a passion so disinterested, may humble themost insolent of thy superiors, and teach even the wealthiest to envythee!"

CHAPTER vii. 

A BOLD STROKE. 

When Cecilia returned home, she heard with much concern that notidings of Mr Harrel had yet been obtained. His lady, who did not stayout late, was now very seriously frightened, and entreated Cecilia tosit up with her till some news could be procured: she sent also forher brother, and they all three, in trembling expectation of what wasto ensue, passed the whole night in watching. 

At six o'clock in the morning, Mr Arnott besought his sister andCecilia to take some rest, promising to go out himself to every placewhere Mr Harrel was known to resort, and not to return withoutbringing some account of him. 

Mrs Harrel, whose feelings were not very acute, finding thepersuasions of her brother were seconded by her own fatigue, consentedto follow his advice, and desired him to begin his search immediately. 

A few moments after he was gone, while Mrs Harrel and Cecilia wereupon the stairs, they were startled by a violent knocking at the door:Cecilia, prepared for some calamity, hurried her friend back to thedrawing-room, and then flying out of it again to enquire who entered, saw to her equal surprize and relief, Mr Harrel himself. 

She ran back with the welcome information, and he instantly followedher: Mrs Harrel eagerly told him of her fright, and Cecilia expressedher pleasure at his return: but the satisfaction of neither was oflong duration. 

He came into the room with a look of fierceness the most terrifying, his hat on, and his arms folded. He made no answer to what they said, but pushed back the door with his foot, and flung himself upon a sofa. 

Cecilia would now have withdrawn, but Mrs Harrel caught her hand toprevent her. They continued some minutes in this situation, and thenMr Harrel, suddenly rising, called-out "Have you any thing to packup?"

"Pack up?" repeated Mrs Harrel, "Lord bless me, for what?"

"I am going abroad, " he answered; "I shall set off to-morrow. "

"Abroad?" cried she, bursting into tears, "I am sure I hope not!"

"Hope nothing!" returned he, in a voice of rage; and then, with adreadful oath, he ordered her to leave him and pack up. 

Mrs Harrel, wholly unused to such treatment, was frightened intoviolent hysterics; of which, however, he took no notice, but swearingat her for _a fool who had been the cause of his ruin_, he leftthe room. 

Cecilia, though she instantly rang the bell, and hastened to herassistance, was so much shocked by this unexpected brutality, that shescarcely knew how to act, or what to order. Mrs Harrel, however, soonrecovered, and Cecilia accompanied her to her own apartment, where shestayed, and endeavoured to sooth her till Mr Arnott returned. 

The terrible state in which Mr Harrel had at last come home wasimmediately communicated to him, and his sister entreated him to useall his influence that the scheme for going abroad might be deferred, at least, if not wholly given up. 

Fearfully he went on the embassy, but speedily, and with a look whollydismayed, he returned. Mr Harrel, he said, told him that he hadcontracted a larger debt of honour than he had any means to raise, andas he could not appear till it was paid, he was obliged to quit thekingdom without delay. 

"Oh brother!" cried Mrs Harrel, "and can you suffer us to go?"

"Alas, my dear sister, " answered he, "what can I do to prevent it? andwho, if I too am ruined, will in future help you?"

Mrs Harrel then wept bitterly, nor could the gentle Mr Arnott, forbear, while he tried to comfort her, mixing his own tears withthose of his beloved sister; but Cecilia, whose reason was stronger, and whose justice was offended, felt other sensations: and leaving MrsHarrel to the care of her brother, whose tenderness she infinitelycompassionated, she retreated into her own room. Not, however, torest; the dreadful situation of the family made her forget she wantedit, but to deliberate upon what course she ought herself to pursue. 

She determined without any hesitation against accompanying them intheir flight, as the irreparable injury she was convinced she hadalready done her fortune, was more than sufficient to satisfy the mostromantic ideas of friendship and humanity: but her own place of abodemust now immediately be changed, and her choice rested only between MrDelvile and Mr Briggs. 

Important as were the obstacles which opposed her residence at MrDelvile's, all that belonged to inclination and to happinessencouraged it: while with respect to Mr Briggs, though the objectionswere lighter, there was not a single allurement. Yet whenever thesuspicion recurred to her that Miss Belfield was beloved by youngDelvile, she resolved at all events to avoid him; but when betterhopes intervened, and represented that his enquiries were probablyaccidental, the wish of being finally acquainted with his sentiments, made nothing so desirable as an intercourse more frequent. 

Such still was her irresolution, when she received a message from MrArnott to entreat the honour of seeing her. She immediately went downstairs, and found him in the utmost distress, "O Miss Beverley, " hecried, "what can I do for my sister! what can I possibly devise torelieve her affliction!"

"Indeed I know not!" said Cecilia, "but the utter impracticability ofpreparing her for this blow, obviously as it has long been impending, makes it now fall so heavily I wish much to assist her, --but a debt sounjustifiably contracted--"

"O madam, " interrupted he, "imagine not I sent to you with sotreacherous a view as to involve you in our misery; far too unworthilyhas your generosity already been abused. I only wish to consult withyou what I can do for my sister. "

Cecilia, after some little consideration, proposed that Mrs Harrelshould still be left in England, and under their joint care. 

"Alas!" cried he, "I have already made that proposal, but Mr Harrelwill not go without her, though his whole behaviour is so totallyaltered, that I fear to trust her with him. "

"Who is there, then, that has more weight with him?" said Cecilia, "shall we send for Sir Robert Floyer to second our request?"

To this Mr Arnott assented, forgetting in his apprehension of losinghis sister, the pain he should suffer from the interference of hisrival. 

The Baronet presently arrived, and Cecilia, not chusing to apply tohim herself, left him with Mr Arnott, and waited for intelligence inthe library. 

In about an hour after, Mrs Harrel ran into the room, her tears driedup, and out of breath with joy, and called out "My dearest friend, myfate is now all in your hands, and I am sure you will not refuse tomake me happy. "

"What is it I can do for you?" cried Cecilia, dreading someimpracticable proposal; "ask me not, I beseech you, what I cannotperform!"

"No, no, " answered she, "What I ask requires nothing but good nature;Sir Robert Floyer has been begging Mr Harrel to leave me behind, andhe has promised to comply, upon condition you will hasten yourmarriage, and take me into your own house. "

"My marriage!" cried the astonished Cecilia. 

Here they were joined by Mr Harrel himself, who repeated the sameoffer. 

"You both amaze and shock me!" cried Cecilia, "what is it you mean, and why do you talk to me so wildly?"

"Miss Beverley, " cried Mr Harrel, "it is high time now to give up thisreserve, and trifle no longer with a gentleman so unexceptionable asSir Robert Floyer. The whole town has long acknowledged him as yourhusband, and you are every where regarded as his bride, a littlefrankness, therefore, in accepting him, will not only bind him to youfor ever, but do credit to the generosity of your character. "

At that moment Sir Robert himself burst into the room, and seizing oneof her hands, while both of them were uplifted in mute amazement, hepressed it to his lips, poured forth a volley of such compliments ashe had never before prevailed with himself to utter, and confidentlyentreated her to complete his long-attended happiness without thecruelty of further delay. 

Cecilia, almost petrified by the excess of her surprise, at an attackso violent, so bold, and apparently so sanguine, was for some timescarce able to speak or to defend herself; but when Sir Robert, presuming on her silence, said she had made him the happiest of men, she indignantly drew back her hand, and with a look of displeasurethat required little explanation, would have walked out of the room:when Mr Harrel, in a tone of bitterness and disappointment, called out"Is this lady-like tyranny then never to end?" And Sir Robert, impatiently following her, said "And is my suspense to endure forever? After so many months' attendance--"

"This, indeed, is something too much, " said Cecilia, turning back, "You have been kept, Sir, in no suspense; the whole tenor of myconduct has uniformly declared the same disapprobation I at presentavow, and which my letter, at least, must have put beyond all doubt. "

"Harrel, " exclaimed Sir Robert, "did not you tell me--"

"Pho, Pho, " cried Harrel, "what signifies calling upon me? I never sawin Miss Beverley any disapprobation beyond what it is customary foryoung ladies of a sentimental turn to shew; and every body knows thatwhere a gentleman is allowed to pay his devoirs for any length oftime, no lady intends to use him very severely. "

"And can you, Mr Harrel, " said Cecilia, "after such conversations ashave passed between us, persevere in this wilful misapprehension? Butit is vain to debate where all reasoning is disregarded, or to makeany protestations where even rejection is received as a favour. "

And then, with an air of disdain, she insisted upon passing them, andwent to her own room. 

Mrs Harrel, however, still followed, and clinging round her, stillsupplicated her pity and compliance. 

"What infatuation is this!" cried Cecilia, "is it possible that you, too, can suppose I ever mean to accept Sir Robert?"

"To be sure I do, " answered she, "for Mr Harrel has told me a thousandtimes, that however you played the prude, you would be his at last. "

Cecilia, though doubly irritated against Mr Harrel, was now appeasedwith his lady, whose mistake, however ill-founded, offered an excusefor her behaviour: but she assured her in the strongest terms that herrepugnance to the Baronet was unalterable, yet told her she mightclaim from her every good office that was not wholly unreasonable. 

These were words of slender comfort to Mrs Harrel, who well knew thather wishes and reason had but little affinity, and she soon, therefore, left the room. 

Cecilia then resolved to go instantly to Mrs Delvile, acquaint herwith the necessity of her removal, and make her decision whither, according to the manner in which her intelligence should be received. 

She sent, therefore, to order a chair, and was already in the hall, when she was stopt by the entrance of Mr Monckton, who, addressing herwith a look of haste and earnestness, said, "I will not ask whitheryou are going so early, or upon what errand, for I must beg a moment'saudience, be your business what it may. "

Cecilia then accompanied him to the deserted breakfast room, whichnone but the servants had this morning entered, and there, graspingher hand, he said, "Miss Beverley, you must fly this house directly!it is the region of disorder and licentiousness, and unfit to containyou. "

She assured him she was that moment preparing to quit it, but beggedhe would explain himself. 

"I have taken care, " he answered, "for some time past, to be wellinformed of all the proceedings of Mr Harrel; and the intelligence Iprocured this morning is of the most alarming nature. I find he spentthe night before the last entirely at a gaming table, where, intoxicated by a run of good luck, he passed the whole of the next dayin rioting with his profligate intimates, and last night, returningagain to his favourite amusement, he not only lost all he had gained, but much more than he could pay. Doubt not, therefore, but you will becalled upon to assist him: he still considers you as his resource intimes of danger, and while he knows you are under his roof, he willalways believe himself secure. "

"Every thing indeed conspires, " said Cecilia, more shocked thansurprised at this account, "to make it necessary I should quit hishouse: yet I do not think he has at present any further expectationsfrom me, as he came into the room this morning not merely withoutspeaking to me, but behaved with a brutality to Mrs Harrel that hemust be certain would give me disgust. It shewed me, indeed, a newpart of his character, for ill as I have long thought of him, I didnot suspect he could be guilty of such unmanly cruelty. "

"The character of a gamester, " said Mr Monckton, "depends solely uponhis luck; his disposition varies with every throw of the dice, and heis airy, gay and good humoured, or sour, morose and savage, neitherfrom nature nor from principle, but wholly by the caprice of chance. "

Cecilia then related to him the scene in which she had just beenengaged with Sir Robert Floyer. 

"This, " cried he, "is a _manoeuvre_ I have been some timeexpecting: but Mr Harrel, though artful and selfish, is by no meansdeep. The plan he had formed would have succeeded with some women, andhe therefore concluded it would with all. So many of your sex havebeen subdued by perseverance, and so many have been conquered byboldness, that he supposed when he united two such powerful besiegersin the person of a Baronet, he should vanquish all obstacles. Byassuring you that the world thought the marriage already settled, hehoped to surprise you into believing there was no help for it, and bythe suddenness and vehemence of the attack, to frighten and hurry youinto compliance. His own wife, he knew, might have been managed thuswith ease, and so, probably, might his sister, and his mother, and hiscousin, for in love matters, or what are so called, women in generalare, readily duped. He discerned not the superiority of yourunderstanding to tricks so shallow and impertinent, nor the firmnessof your mind in maintaining its own independence. No doubt but he wasamply to have been rewarded for his assistance, and probably had youthis morning been propitious, the Baronet in return was to havecleared him from his present difficulty. "

"Even in my own mind, " said Cecilia, "I can no longer defend him, forhe could never have been so eager to promote the interest of SirRobert, in the present terrible situation of his own affairs, had henot been stimulated by some secret motives. His schemes and hisartifices, however, will now be utterly lost upon me, since yourwarning and advice, aided by my own suffering experience of theinutility of all I can do for him, will effectually guard me from allhis future attempts. "

"Rest no security upon yourself, " said Mr Monckton, "since you have noknowledge of the many tricks and inventions by which you may yet beplundered. Perhaps he may beg permission to reside in your house inSuffolk, or desire an annuity for his wife, or chuse to receive yourfirst rents when you come of age; and whatever he may fix upon, hisdagger and his bowl will not fail to procure him. A heart so liberalas yours can only be guarded by flight. You were going, you said, whenI came, --and whither?"

"To--to St James's-square, " answered she, with a deep blush. 

"Indeed!--is young Delvile, then, going abroad?"

"Abroad?--no, --I believe not. "

"Nay, I only imagined it from your chusing to reside in his house. "

"I do not chuse it, " cried Cecilia, with quickness, "but is not anything preferable to dwelling with Mr Briggs?"

"Certainly, " said Mr Monckton coolly, "nor should I have supposed hehad any chance with you, had I not hitherto observed that yourconvenience has always been sacrificed to your sense of propriety. "

Cecilia, touched by praise so full of censure, and earnest tovindicate her delicacy, after an internal struggle, which Mr Moncktonwas too subtle to interrupt, protested she would go instantly to MrBriggs, and see if it were possible to be settled in his house, beforeshe made any attempt to fix herself elsewhere. 

"And when?" said Mr Monckton. 

"I don't know, " answered she, with some hesitation, "perhaps thisafternoon. "

"Why not this morning?"

"I can go out no where this morning; I must stay with Mrs Harrel. "

"You thought otherwise when I came, you were then content to leaveher. "

Cecilia's alacrity, however, for changing her abode, was now at anend, and she would fain have been left quietly to re-consider herplans: but Mr Monckton urged so strongly the danger of her lengthenedstay in the house of so designing a man as Mr Harrel, that heprevailed with her to quit it without delay, and had himself thesatisfaction of handing her to her chair. 

CHAPTER viii. 

A MISER'S MANSION. 

Mr Briggs was at home, and Cecilia instantly and briefly informed himthat it was inconvenient for her to live any longer at Mr Harrel's, and that if she could be accommodated at his house, she should be gladto reside with him during the rest of her minority. 

"Shall, shall, " cried he, extremely pleased, "take you with all myheart. Warrant Master Harrel's made a good penny of you. Not a bit thebetter for dressing so fine; many a rogue in a gold lace hat. "

Cecilia begged to know what apartments he could spare for her. 

"Take you up stairs, " cried he, "shew you a place for a queen. "

He then led her up stairs, and took her to a room entirely dark, andso close for want of air that she could hardly breathe in it. Sheretreated to the landing-place till he had opened the shutters, andthen saw an apartment the most forlorn she had ever beheld, containingno other furniture than a ragged stuff bed, two worn-out rush-bottomedchairs, an old wooden box, and a bit of broken glass which wasfastened to the wall by two bent nails. 

"See here, my little chick, " cried he, "everything ready! and a boxfor your gimcracks into the bargain. "

"You don't mean this place for me, Sir!" cried Cecilia, staring. 

"Do, do;" cried he, "a deal nicer by and by. Only wants a littlefurbishing: soon put to rights. Never sweep a room out of use; onlywears out brooms for nothing. "

"But, Sir, can I not have an apartment on the first floor?"

"No, no, something else to do with it; belongs to the club; secrets inall things! Make this do well enough. Come again next week; wear quitea new face. Nothing wanting but a table; pick you up one at abroker's. "

"But I am obliged, Sir, to leave Mr Harrel's house directly. "

"Well, well, make shift without a table at first; no great matter ifyou ha'n't one at all, nothing particular to do with it. Want anotherblanket, though. Know where to get one; a very good broker hard by. Understand how to deal with him! A close dog, but warm. "

"I have also two servants, Sir, " said Cecilia. 

"Won't have 'em! Sha'n't come! Eat me out of house and home. "

"Whatever they eat, Sir, " answered she, "will be wholly at my expence, as will everything else that belongs to them. "

"Better get rid of them: hate servants; all a pack of rogues: think ofnothing but stuffing and guzzling. "

Then opening another door, "See here, " he cried, "my own room just by;snug as a church!"

Cecilia, following him into it, lost a great part of her surprise atthe praise he had lavished upon that which he destined for herself, byperceiving that his own was yet more scantily furnished, havingnothing in it but a miserable bed without any curtains, and a largechest, which, while it contained his clothes, sufficed both for tableand chair. 

"What are doing here?" cried he angrily, to a maid who was making thebed, "can't you take more care? beat 'out all the feathers, see! twoon the ground; nothing but waste and extravagance! never mind how soona man's ruined. Come to want, you slut, see that, come to want!"

"I can never want more than I do here, " said the girl, "so that's onecomfort. "

Cecilia now began to repent she had made known the purport of hervisit, for she found it would be utterly impossible to accommodateeither her mind or her person to a residence such as was here to beobtained and she only wished Mr Monckton had been present, that hemight himself be convinced of the impracticability of his scheme. Herwhole business, therefore, now, was to retract her offer, and escapefrom the house. 

"I see, Sir, " said she, when he turned from his servant, "that Icannot be received here without inconvenience, and therefore I willmake some new arrangement in my plan. "

"No, no, " cried he, "like to have you, 'tis but fair, all in our turn;won't be chorused; Master Harrel's had his share. Sorry could not getyou that sweetheart! would not bite; soon find out another; neverfret. "

"But there are so many things with which I cannot possibly dispense, "said Cecilia, "that I am certain my removing hither would occasion youfar more trouble than you at present foresee. "

"No, no; get all in order soon: go about myself; know how to bid;understand trap; always go shabby; no making a bargain in a good coat. Look sharp at the goods; say they won't do; come away; send somebodyelse for 'em. Never go twice myself; nothing got cheap if one seems tohave a hankering. "

"But I am sure it is not possible, " said Cecilia, hurrying downstairs, "that my room, and one for each of my servants, should beready in time. "

"Yes, yes, " cried he, following her, "ready in a trice. Make a littleshift at first; double the blanket till we get another; lie with themaid a night or two; never stand for a trifle. "

And, when she was seated in her chair, the whole time disclaiming herintention of returning, he only pinched her cheek with a facetioussmirk, and said, "By, by, little duck; come again soon. Warrant I'llhave the room ready. Sha'n't half know it again; make it as smart as acarrot. "

And then she left the house; fully satisfied that no one could blameher refusing to inhabit it, and much less chagrined than she waswilling to suppose herself, in finding she had now no resource but inthe Delviles. 

Yet, in her serious reflections, she could not but think herselfstrangely unfortunate that the guardian with whom alone it seemedproper for her to reside, should by parsimony, vulgarity, andmeanness, render riches contemptible, prosperity unavailing, andeconomy odious: and that the choice of her uncle should thus unhappilyhave fallen upon the lowest and most wretched of misers, in a cityabounding with opulence, hospitality, and splendour, and of which theprincipal inhabitants, long eminent for their wealth and theirprobity, were now almost universally rising in elegance andliberality. 

CHAPTER ix. 

A DECLARATION. 

Cecilia's next progress, therefore, was to St James's-square, whithershe went in the utmost anxiety, from her uncertainty of the receptionwith which her proposal would meet. 

The servants informed her that Mr and Mrs Delvile were at breakfast, and that the Duke of Derwent and his two daughters were with them. 

Before such witnesses to relate the reasons of her leaving theHarmless was impossible; and from such a party to send for MrsDelvile, would, by her stately guardian, be deemed an indecorumunpardonable. She was obliged, therefore, to return to Portman-square, in order to open her cause in a letter to Mrs Delvile. 

Mr Arnott, flying instantly to meet her, called out O madam, whatalarm has your absence occasioned! My sister believed she should seeyou no more, Mr Harrel feared a premature discovery of his purposedretreat, and we have all been under the cruellest apprehensions lestyou meant not to come back. "

"I am sorry I spoke not with you before I went out, " said Cecilia, accompanying him to the library, "but I thought you were all too muchoccupied to miss me. I have been, indeed, preparing for a removal, butI meant not to leave your sister without bidding her adieu, nor, indeed, to quit any part of the family with so little ceremony. Is MrHarrel still firm to his last plan?"

"I fear so! I have tried what is possible to dissuade him, and my poorsister has wept without ceasing. Indeed, if she will take noconsolation, I believe I shall do what she pleases, for I cannot bearthe sight of her in such distress. "

"You are too generous, and too good!" said Cecilia, "and I know nothow, while flying from danger myself, to forbear counselling you toavoid it also. "

"Ah madam!" cried he, "the greatest danger for _me_ is what Ihave now no power to run from!"

Cecilia, though she could not but understand him, felt not the lesshis friend for knowing him the humblest of her admirers; and as shesaw the threatening ruin to which his too great tenderness exposedhim, she kindly said "Mr Arnott, I will speak, to you without reserve. It is not difficult to see that the destruction which awaits MrHarrel, is ready also to ensnare his brother-in-law: but let not thatblindness to the future which we have so often lamented for him, hereafter be lamented for yourself. Till his present connections arebroken, and his way of living is changed, nothing can be done for him, and whatever you were to advance, would merely be sunk at the gamingtable. Reserve, therefore, your liberality till it may indeed be ofservice to him, for believe me, at present, his mind is as muchinjured as his fortune. "

"And is it possible, madam, " said Mr Arnott, in an accent of surprizeand delight, "that you can deign to be interested in what may becomeof me! and that my sharing or escaping the ruin of this house is notwholly indifferent to you?"

"Certainly not, " answered Cecilia; "as the brother of my earliestfriend, I can never be insensible to your welfare. "

"Ah madam!" cried he, "as her brother!--Oh that there were any othertie!--"

"Think a little, " said Cecilia, preparing to quit the room, "of what Ihave mentioned, and, for your sister's sake, be firm now, if you wouldbe kind hereafter. "

"I will be any and every thing, " cried he, "that Miss Beverley willcommand. "

Cecilia, fearful of any misinterpretation, then came back, and gravelysaid, "No, Sir, be ruled only by your own judgment: or, should myadvice have any weight with you, remember it is given from the mostdisinterested motives, and with no other view than that of securingyour power to be of service to your sister. "

"For that sister's sake, then, have the goodness to hear my situation, and honour me with further directions. "

"You will make me fear to speak, " said Cecilia, "if you give so muchconsequence to my opinion. I have seen, however, nothing in yourconduct I have ever wished changed, except too little attention toyour own interest and affairs. "

"Ah!" cried he, "with what rapture should I hear those words, could Ibut imagine--"

"Come, come, " said Cecilia, smiling, "no digression! You called meback to talk of your sister; if you change your subject, perhaps youmay lose your auditor. "

"I would not, madam, for the world encroach upon your goodness; thefavour I have found has indeed always exceeded my expectations, as ithas always surpassed my desert: yet has it never blinded me to my ownunworthiness. Do not, then, fear to indulge me with your conversation;I shall draw from it no inference but of pity, and though pity fromMiss Beverley is the sweetest balm to my heart, it shall never seduceme to the encouragement of higher hopes. "

Cecilia had long had reason to expect such a declaration, yet sheheard it with unaffected concern, and looking at him with the utmostgentleness, said "Mr Arnott, your regard does me honour, and, were itsomewhat more rational, would give me pleasure; take, then, from itwhat is more than I wish or merit, and, while you preserve the rest, be assured it will be faithfully returned. "

"Your rejection is so mild, " cried he, "that I, who had no hope ofacceptance, find relief in having at last told my sufferings. Could Ibut continue to see you every day, and to be blest with yourconversation, I think I should be happy, and I am sure I should begrateful. "

"You are already, " answered she, shaking her head, and moving towardsthe door, "infringing the conditions upon which our friendship is tobe founded. "

"Do not go, madam, " he cried, "till I have done what you have justpromised to permit, acquainted you with my situation, and beenhonoured with your advice. I must own to you, then, that £5000, whichI had in the stocks, as well as a considerable sum in a banker'shands, I have parted with, as I now find for ever but I have no heartfor refusal, nor would my sister at this moment be thus distressed, but that I have nothing more to give without I cut down my trees, orsell some farm, since all I was worth, except my landed property, isalready gone. What, therefore, I can now do to save Mr Harrel fromthis desperate expedition I know not. "

"I am sorry, " said Cecilia, "to speak with severity of one so nearlyconnected with you, yet, suffer me to ask, why should he be saved fromit at all? and what is there he can at present do better? Has not helong been threatened with every evil that is now arrived? have we notboth warned him, and have not the clamours of his creditors assailedhim? yet what has been the consequence? he has not submitted to thesmallest change in his way of life, he has not denied himself a singleindulgence, nor spared any expence, nor thought of any reformation. Luxury has followed luxury, and he has only grown fonder ofextravagance, as extravagance has become more dangerous. Till thepresent storm, therefore, blows over, leave him to his fate, and whena calm succeeds, I will myself, for the sake of Priscilla, aid you tosave what is possible of the wreck. "

"All you say, madam, is as wise as it is good, and now I am acquaintedwith your opinion, I will wholly new model myself upon it, and grow assteady against all attacks as hitherto I have been yielding. "

Cecilia was then retiring; but again detaining her, he Said "Youspoke, madam, of a removal, and indeed it is high time you should quitthis scene: yet I hope you intend not to go till to-morrow, as MrHarrel has declared your leaving him sooner will be his destruction. "

"Heaven forbid, " said Cecilia, "for I mean to be gone with all thespeed in my power. "

"Mr Harrel, " answered he, "did not explain himself; but I believe heapprehends your deserting his house at this critical time, will raisea suspicion of his own design of going abroad, and make his creditorsinterfere to prevent him. "

"To what a wretched state, " cried Cecilia, "has he reduced himself! Iwill not, however, be the voluntary instrument of his disgrace; and ifyou think my stay is so material to his security, I will continue heretill to-morrow morning. "

Mr Arnott almost wept his thanks for this concession, and Cecilia, happy in making it to him instead of Mr Harrel, then went to her ownroom, and wrote the following letter to Mrs Delvile. 

_To the Hon. Mrs Delvile, St James's-square_. 

PORTMAN SQUARE, _June_ 12. 

DEAR MADAM, --I am willing to hope you have been rather surprised thatI have not sooner availed myself of the permission with which youyesterday honoured me of spending this whole day with you, but, unfortunately for myself, I am prevented waiting upon you even for anypart of it. Do not, however, think me now ungrateful if I stay away, nor to-morrow impertinent, if I venture to enquire whether thatapartment which you had once the goodness to appropriate to my use, may then again be spared for me! The accidents which have promptedthis strange request will, I trust, be sufficient apology for theliberty I take in making it, when I have the honour to see you, andacquaint you what they are. --I am, with the utmost respect, DearMadam, your most obedient humble servant, CECILIA BEVERLEY. 

She would not have been thus concise, had not the caution of Mr Arnottmade her fear, in the present perilous situation of affairs, to trustthe secret of Mr Harrel to paper. 

The following answer was returned her from Mrs Delvile:--

_To Miss Beverley, Portman-square_. 

The accidents you mention are not, I hope, of a very serious nature, since I shall find difficulty insurmountable in trying to lament them, if they are productive of a lengthened visit from my dear MissBeverley to her Faithful humble servant, AUGUSTA DELVILE. 

Cecilia, charmed with this note, could now no longer forbear lookingforward to brighter prospects, flattering herself that once under theroof of Mrs Delvile, she must necessarily be happy, let theengagements or behaviour of her son be what they might. 

CHAPTER x. 

A GAMESTER'S CONSCIENCE. 

From this soothing prospect, Cecilia was presently disturbed by MrsHarrel's maid, who came to entreat she would hasten to her lady, whomshe feared was going into fits. 

Cecilia flew to her immediately, and found her in the most violentaffliction. She used every kind effort in her power to quiet andconsole her, but it was not without the utmost difficulty she couldsob out the cause of this fresh sorrow, which indeed was not trifling. Mr Harrel, she said, had told her he could not possibly raise moneyeven for his travelling expences, without risking a discovery of hisproject, and being seized by his creditors: he had therefore chargedher, _through her brother or her friend_, to procure for him£3000, as less would not suffice to maintain them while abroad, and heknew no method by which he could have any remittances without danger. And, when she hesitated in her compliance, he furiously accused her ofhaving brought on all this distress by her negligence and want ofmanagement, and declared that if she did not get the money, she wouldonly be served as she merited by starving in a foreign gaol, which heswore would be the fate of them both. 

The horror and indignation with which Cecilia heard this account wereunspeakable. She saw evidently that she was again to be played upon byterror and distress, and the cautions and opinions of Mr Monckton nolonger appeared overstrained; _one year's income_ was alreadydemanded, the annuity and the country house might next be required:she rejoiced, however, that thus wisely forewarned, she was not liableto surprise, and she determined, be their entreaties orrepresentations what they might, to be immovably steady in her purposeof leaving them the next morning. 

Yet she could not but grieve at suffering the whole burthen of thisclamorous imposition to fall upon the soft-hearted Mr Arnott, whoseinability to resist solicitation made him so unequal to sustaining itsweight: but when Mrs Harrel was again able to go on with her account, she heard, to her infinite surprise, that all application to herbrother had proved fruitless. "He will not hear me, " continued MrsHarrel, "and he never was deaf to me before! so now I have lost myonly and last resource, my brother himself gives me up, and there isno one else upon earth who will assist me!"

"With pleasure, with readiness, with joy, " cried Cecilia, "should youfind assistance from me, were it to you alone it were given; but tosupply fuel for the very fire that is consuming you--no, no, my wholeheart is hardened against gaming and gamesters, and neither now norever will I suffer any consideration to soften me in their favour. "

Mrs Harrel only answered by tears and lamentations; and Cecilia, whosejustice shut not out compassion, having now declared her purposedfirmness, again attempted to sooth her, entreating her not to give wayto such immoderate grief, since better prospects might arise from thevery gloom now before her, and a short time spent in solitude andoeconomy, might enable her to return to her native land with recoveredhappiness. 

"No, I shall never return!" cried she, weeping, "I shall die, I shallbreak my heart before I have been banished a month! Oh Miss Beverley, how happy are you! able to stay where you please, --rich, --rolling inwealth which you do not want, --of which had we but _one_ year'sincome only, all this misery would be over, and we might stay in ourdear, dear, country!"

Cecilia, struck by a hint that so nearly bordered upon reproach, andoffended by seeing the impossibility of ever doing enough, whileanything remained to be done, forbore not without difficulty enquiringwhat next was expected from her, and whether any part of her fortunemight be guarded, without giving room for some censure! but the deepaffliction of Mrs Harrel soon removed her resentment, and scarcelythinking her, while in a state of such wretchedness, answerable forwhat she said, after a little recollection, she mildly replied "Asaffluence is all comparative, you may at present think I have morethan my share: but the time is only this moment past, when your ownsituation seemed as subject to the envy of others as mine may be now. My future destiny is yet undetermined, and the occasion I may have formy fortune is unknown to myself; but whether I possess it in peace orin turbulence, whether it proves to me a blessing or an injury, solong as I can call it my own, I shall always remember with alacritythe claim upon that and upon me which early friendship has so justlygiven Mrs Harrel. Yet permit me, at the same time, to add, that I donot hold myself so entirely independent as you may probably supposeme. I have not, it is true, any Relations to call me to account, butrespect for their memory supplies the place of their authority, and Icannot, in the distribution of the fortune which has devolved to me, forbear sometimes considering how they would have wished it should bespent, and always remembering that what was acquired by industry andlabour, should never be dissipated in idleness and vanity. Forgive mefor thus speaking to the point; you will not find me less friendly toyourself, for this frankness with respect to your situation. "

Tears were again the only answer of Mrs Harrel; yet Cecilia, whopitied the weakness of her mind, stayed by her with the most patientkindness till the servants announced dinner. She then declared shewould not go down stairs: but Cecilia so strongly represented thedanger of awakening suspicion in the servants, that she at lastprevailed with her to make her appearance. 

Mr Harrel was already in the parlour, and enquiring for Mr Arnott, butwas told by the servants he had sent word he had another engagement. Sir Robert Floyer also kept away, and, for the first time since herarrival in town, Cecilia dined with no other company than the masterand mistress of the house. 

Mrs Harrel could eat nothing; Cecilia, merely to avoid creatingsurprise in the servants, forbore following her example; but Mr Harreleat much as usual, talked all dinner-time, was extremely civil toCecilia, and discovered not by his manners the least alteration in hisaffairs. 

When the servants were gone, he desired his wife to step for a momentwith him into the library. They soon returned, and then Mr Harrel, after walking in a disordered manner about the room, rang the bell, and ordered his hat and cane, and as he took them, said "If thisfails--" and, stopping short, without speaking to his wife, or evenbowing to Cecilia, he hastily went out of the house. 

Mrs Harrel told Cecilia that he had merely called her to know theevent of her two petitions, and had heard her double failure in totalsilence. Whither he was now gone it was not easy to conjecture, norwhat was the new resource which he still seemed to think worth trying;but the manner of his quitting the house, and the threat implied by_if this fails_, contributed not to lessen the grief of MrsHarrel, and gave to Cecilia herself the utmost alarm. 

They continued together till tea-time, the servants having beenordered to admit no company. Mr Harrel himself then returned, andreturned, to the amazement of Cecilia, accompanied by Mr Marriot. 

He presented that young man to both the ladies as a gentleman whoseacquaintance and friendship he was very desirous to cultivate. MrsHarrel, too much absorbed in her own affairs to care about any other, saw his entrance with a momentary surprise, and then thought of it nomore: but it was not so with Cecilia, whose better understanding ledher to deeper reflection. 

Even the visits of Mr Marriot but a few weeks since Mr Harrel hadprohibited, yet he now introduced him into his house with particulardistinction; he came back too himself in admirable spirits, enlivenedin his countenance, and restored to his good humour. A change soextraordinary both in conduct and disposition convinced her that somechange no less extra-ordinary of circumstance must previously havehappened: what that might be it was not possible for her to divine, but the lessons she had received from Mr Monckton led her tosuspicions of the darkest kind. 

Every part of his behaviour served still further to confirm them; hewas civil even to excess to Mr Marriot; he gave orders aloud not to beat home to Sir Robert Floyer; he made his court to Cecilia withunusual assiduity, and he took every method in his power to procureopportunity to her admirer of addressing and approaching her. 

The young man, who seemed _enamoured even to madness_, couldscarce refrain not merely from prostration to the object of hispassion, but to Mr Harrel himself for permitting him to see her. Cecilia, who not without some concern perceived a fondness sofruitless, and who knew not by what arts or with what views Mr Harrelmight think proper to encourage it, determined to take all the meansthat were in her own power towards giving it immediate control. Shebehaved, therefore, with the utmost reserve, and the moment tea wasover, though earnestly entreated to remain with them, she retired toher own room, without making any other apology than coldly saying shecould not stay. 

In about an hour Mrs Harrel ran up stairs to her. 

"Oh Miss Beverley, " she cried, "a little respite is now granted me! MrHarrel says he shall stay another day; he says, too, one singlethousand pound would now make him a new man. "

Cecilia returned no answer; she conjectured some new deceit was inagitation to raise money, and she feared Mr Marriot was the next dupeto be played upon. Mrs Harrel, therefore, with a look of the utmostdisappointment, left her, saying she would send for her brother, andonce more try if he had yet any remaining regard for her. 

Cecilia rested quiet till eleven o'clock, when she was summoned tosupper: she found Mr Marriot still the only guest, and that Mr Arnottmade not his appearance. 

She now resolved to publish her resolution of going the next morningto St James's-square. As soon, therefore, as the servants withdrew, she enquired of Mr Harrel if he had any commands with Mr or MrsDelvile, as she should see them the next morning, and purposed tospend some time with them. 

Mr Harrel, with a look of much alarm, asked if she meant the wholeday. 

Many days, she answered, and probably some months. 

Mrs Harrel exclaimed her surprise aloud, and Mr Harrel looked aghast:while his new young friend cast upon him a glance of reproach andresentment, which fully convinced Cecilia he imagined he had procuredhimself a title to an easiness of intercourse and frequency of meetingwhich this intelligence destroyed. Cecilia, thinking after all thathad passed, no other ceremony on her part was necessary but that ofsimply speaking her intention, then arose and returned to her ownroom. 

She acquainted her maid that she was going to make a visit to MrsDelvile, and gave her directions about packing up her clothes, andsending for a man in the morning to take care of her books. 

This employment was soon interrupted by the entrance of Mrs Harrel, who desiring to speak with her alone, when the maid was gone, said "OMiss Beverley, can you indeed be so barbarous as to leave me?"

"I entreat you, Mrs Harrel, " answered Cecilia, "to save both yourselfand me any further discussions. I have delayed this removal very long, and I can now delay it no longer. "

Mrs Harrel then flung herself upon a chair in the bitterest sorrow, declaring she was utterly undone; that Mr Harrel had declared he couldnot stay even an hour in England if she was not in his house; that hehad already had a violent quarrel with Mr Marriot upon the subject;and that her brother, though she had sent him the most earnestentreaties, would not come near her. 

Cecilia, tired of vain attempts to offer comfort, now urged thewarmest expostulations against her opposition, strongly representingthe real necessity of her going abroad, and the unpardonable weaknessof wishing to continue such a life as she now led, adding debt todebt, and hoarding distress upon distress. 

Mrs Harrel then, though rather from compulsion than conviction, declared she would agree to go, if she had not a dread of ill usage;but Mr Harrel, she said, had behaved to her with the utmost brutality, calling her the cause of his ruin, and threatening that if sheprocured not this thousand pound before the ensuing evening, sheshould be treated as she deserved for her extravagance and folly. 

"Does he think, then, " said Cecilia with the utmost indignation, "thatI am to be frightened through your fears into what compliances hepleases?"

"O no, " cried Mrs Harrel, "no; his expectations are all from mybrother. He surely thought that when I supplicated and pleaded to him, he would do what I wished, for so he always did formerly, and so onceagain I am sure he would do now, could I but make him come to me, andtell him how I am used, and tell him that if Mr Harrel takes me abroadin this humour, I verily think in his rage he will half murder me. "

Cecilia, who well knew she was herself the real cause of Mr Arnott'sresistance, now felt her resolution waver, internally reproachingherself with the sufferings of his sister; alarmed, however, for herown constancy, she earnestly besought Mrs Harrel to go and composeherself for the night, and promised to deliberate what could be donefor her before morning. 

Mrs Harrel complied; but scarce was her own rest more broken than thatof Cecilia, who, though extremely fatigued with a whole night'swatching, was so perturbed in her mind she could not close her eyes. Mrs Harrel was her earliest, and had once been her dearest friend; shehad deprived her by her own advice of her customary refuge in herbrother; to refuse, therefore, assistance to her seemed cruelty, though to deny it to Mr Harrel was justice: she endeavoured, therefore, to make a compromise between her judgment and compassion, by resolving that though she would grant nothing further to Mr Harrelwhile he remained in London, she would contribute from time to timeboth to his necessities and comfort, when once he was establishedelsewhere upon some plan of prudence and economy. 

CHAPTER xi. 

A PERSECUTION. 

The next morning by five o'clock Mrs Harrel came into Cecilia's roomto know the result of her deliberation; and Cecilia, with thatgraceful readiness which accompanied all her kind offices, instantlyassured her the thousand pound should be her own, if she would consentto seek some quiet retreat, and receive it in small sums, of fifty orone hundred pounds at a time, which should be carefully transmitted, and which, by being delivered to herself, might secure bettertreatment from Mr Harrel, and be a motive to revive his care andaffection. 

She flew, much delighted, with this proposal to her husband; butpresently, and with a dejected look, returning, said Mr Harrelprotested he could not possibly set out without first receiving themoney. "I shall go myself, therefore, " said she, "to my brother afterbreakfast, for he will not, I see, unkind as he is grown, come to me;and if I do not succeed with him, I believe I shall never come back!"

To this Cecilia, offended and disappointed, answered "I am sorry forMr Arnott, but for myself I have done!"

Mrs Harrel then left her, and she arose to make immediate preparationsfor her removal to St James's-square, whither, with all the speed inher power, she sent her books, her trunks, and all that belonged toher. 

When she was summoned down stairs, she found, for the first time, MrHarrel breakfasting at the same table with his wife: they seemedmutually out of humour and comfortless, nothing hardly was spoken, andlittle was swallowed: Mr Harrel, however, was civil, but his wife wastotally silent, and Cecilia the whole time was planning how to takeher leave. 

When the tea things were removed, Mr Harrel said, "You have not, Ihope, Miss Beverley, quite determined upon this strange scheme?"

"Indeed I have, Sir, " she answered, "and already I have sent myclothes. "

At this information he seemed thunderstruck; but, after somewhatrecovering, said with much bitterness, "Well, madam, at least may Irequest you will stay here till the evening?"

"No, Sir, " answered she coolly, "I am going instantly. "

"And will you not, " said he, with yet greater asperity, "amuseyourself first with seeing bailiffs take possession of my house, andyour friend Priscilla follow me to jail?"

"Good God, Mr Harrel!" exclaimed Cecilia, with uplifted hands, "isthis a question, is this behaviour I have merited!"

"O no!" cried he with quickness, "should I once think that way--" thenrising and striking his forehead, he walked about the room. 

Mrs Harrel arose too, and weeping violently went away. 

"Will you at least, " said Cecilia, when she was gone, "till youraffairs are settled, leave Priscilla with me? When I go into my ownhouse, she shall accompany me, and mean time Mr Arnott's I am surewill gladly be open to her. "

"No, no, " answered he, "she deserves no such indulgence; she has notany reason to complain, she has been as negligent, as profuse, asexpensive as myself; she ha practised neither oeconomy nor self-denial, she has neither thought of me nor my affairs, nor is she now afflicted atany thing but the loss of that affluence she has done her best towardsdiminishing. 

"All recrimination, " said Cecilia, "were vain, or what might not MrsHarrel urge in return! but let us not enlarge upon so ungrateful asubject, the wisest and the happiest scheme now were mutually andkindly to console each other. "

"Consolation and kindness, " cried he, with abruptness, "are out of thequestion. I have ordered a post chaise to be here at night, and iftill then you will stay, I will promise to release you without furtherpetition if not, eternal destruction be my portion if I _live_ tosee the scene which your removal will occasion!"

"My removal. " cried Cecilia, shuddering, "good heaven, and how can myremoval be of such dreadful consequence?"

"Ask me not, " cried he, fiercely, "questions or reasons now; thecrisis is at hand, and you will soon, happen what may, know all: meantime what I have said is a fact, and immutable: and you must hasten myend, or give me a chance for avoiding it, as you think fit. I scarcecare at this instant which way you decide remember, however, all I askof you is to defer your departure; what else I have to hope is from MrArnott. "

He then left the room. 

Cecilia now was again a coward! In vain she called to her support theadvice, the prophesies, the cautions of Mr Monckton, in vain sherecollected the impositions she had already seen practised, forneither the warnings of her counsellor, nor the lessons of her ownexperience, were proofs against the terrors which threats so desperateinspired: and though more than once she determined to fly at allevents from a tyranny he had so little right to usurp, the mereremembrance of the words _if you stay not till night I will notlive_, robbed her of all courage; and however long she had preparedherself for this very attack, when the moment arrived, its power overher mind was too strong for resistance. 

While this conflict between fear and resolution was still undecided, her servant brought her the following letter from Mr Arnott. 

_To Miss Beverley, Portman-square. 

June 13th, 1779_. 

MADAM, --Determined to obey those commands which you had the goodnessto honour me with, I have absented myself from town till Mr Harrel issettled; for though I am as sensible of your wisdom as of your beauty, I find myself too weak to bear the distress of my unhappy sister, andtherefore I run from the sight, nor shall any letter or message followme, unless it comes from Miss Beverley herself, lest she should infuture refuse the only favour I dare presume to solicit, that ofsometimes deigning to honour with her directions, the most humble anddevoted of her servants, J. ARNOTT. 

In the midst of her apprehensions for herself and her own interest, Cecilia could not forbear rejoicing that Mr Arnott, at least, hadescaped the present storm: yet she was certain it would fall the moreheavily upon herself; and dreaded the sight of Mrs Harrel after theshock which this flight would occasion. 

Her expectations were but too quickly fulfilled: Mrs Harrel in a shorttime after rushed wildly into the room, calling out "My brother isgone! he has left me for ever! Oh save me, Miss Beverley, save me fromabuse and insult!" And she wept with so much violence she could utternothing more. 

Cecilia, quite tortured by this persecution, faintly asked what shecould do for her?

"Send, " cried she, "to my brother, and beseech him not to abandon me!send to him, and conjure him to advance this thousand pound!--thechaise is already ordered, --Mr Harrel is fixed upon going, --yet hesays without that money we must both starve in a strange land, --O sendto my cruel brother! he has left word that nothing must follow himthat does not come from you. "

"For the world, then, " cried Cecilia, "would I not baffle hisdiscretion! indeed you must submit to your fate, indeed Mrs Harrel youmust endeavour to bear it better. "

Mrs Harrel, shedding a flood of tears, declared she would try tofollow her advice, but again besought her in the utmost agony to sendafter her brother, protesting she did not think even her life would besafe in making so long a journey with Mr Harrel in his present stateof mind: his character, she said, was totally changed, his gaiety, good humour, and sprightliness were turned into roughness andmoroseness, and, since his great losses at play, he was grown sofierce and furious, that to oppose him even in a trifle, rendered himquite outrageous in passion. 

Cecilia, though truly concerned, and almost melted, yet refused tointerfere with Mr Arnott, and even thought it but justice toacknowledge she had advised his retreat. 

"And can you have been so cruel?" cried Mrs Harrel, with stillencreasing violence of sorrow, "to rob me of my only friend, todeprive me of my Brother's affection, at the very time I am forced outof the kingdom, with a husband who is ready to murder me, and who sayshe hates the sight of me, and all because I cannot get him this fatal, fatal money!--O Miss Beverley, how could I have thought to have hadsuch an office from you?"

Cecilia was beginning a justification, when a message came from MrHarrel, desiring to see his wife immediately. 

Mrs Harrel, in great terror, cast herself at Cecilia's feet, andclinging to her knees, called out "I dare not go to him! I dare not goto him! he wants to know my success, and when he hears my brother isrun away, I am sure he will kill me!--Oh Miss Beverley, how could yousend him away? how could you be so inhuman as to leave me to the rageof Mr Harrel?"

Cecilia, distressed and trembling herself, conjured her to rise and beconsoled; but Mrs Harrel, weak and frightened, could only weep andsupplicate: "I don't ask you, " she cried, "to give the money yourself, but only to send for my brother, that he may protect me, and beg MrHarrel not to treat me so cruelly, --consider but what a long, longjourney I am going to make! consider how often you used to say youwould love me for ever! consider you have robbed me of the tenderestbrother in the world!--Oh Miss Beverley, send for him back, or be asister to me yourself, and let not your poor Priscilla leave hernative land without help or pity!"

Cecilia, wholly overcome, now knelt too, and embracing her with tears, said "Oh Priscilla, plead and reproach no more! what you wish shall beyours, --I will send for your brother, --I will do what you please!"

"Now you are my friend indeed!" cried Mrs Harrel, "let me but_see_ my brother, and his heart will yield to my distress, and hewill soften Mr Harrel by giving his unhappy sister this partingbounty. "

Cecilia then took a pen in her hand to write to Mr Arnott; but struckalmost in the same moment with a notion of treachery in calling himfrom a retreat which her own counsel made him seek, professedly toexpose him to a supplication which from his present situation mightlead him to ruin, she hastily flung it from her, and exclaimed "No, excellent Mr Arnott, I will not so unworthily betray you!"

"And can you, Miss Beverley, can you at last, " cried Mrs Harrel, "beso barbarous as to retract?"

"No, my poor Priscilla, " answered Cecilia, "I cannot so cruellydisappoint you; my pity shall however make no sufferer but myself, --Icannot send for Mr Arnott, --from me you must have the money, and mayit answer the purpose for which it is given, and restore to you thetenderness of your husband, and the peace of your own heart!"

Priscilla, scarce waiting to thank her, flew with this intelligence toMr Harrel; who with the same impetuosity, scarce waiting to say he wasglad of it, ran himself to bring the Jew from whom the money was to beprocured. Every thing was soon settled, Cecilia had no time forretracting, and repentance they had not the delicacy to regard: again, therefore, she signed her name for paying the principal and interestof another 1000_l_. Within ten days after she was of age: andhaving taken the money, she accompanied Mr and Mrs Harrel into anotherroom. Presenting it then with an affecting solemnity to Mrs Harrel, "accept, Priscilla, " she cried, "this irrefragable mark of thesincerity of my friendship: but suffer me at the same time to tellyou, it is the last to so considerable an amount I ever mean to offer;receive it, therefore, with kindness, but use it with discretion. "

She then embraced her, and eager now to avoid acknowledgment, asbefore she had been to escape importunities, she left them together. 

The soothing recompense of succouring benevolence, followed not thisgift, nor made amends for this loss: perplexity and uneasiness, regretand resentment, accompanied the donation, and rested upon her mind;she feared she had done wrong; she was certain Mr Monckton would blameher; he knew not the persecution she suffered, nor would he make anyallowance for the threats which alarmed, or the intreaties whichmelted her. 

Far other had been her feelings at the generosity she exerted for theHills; no doubts then tormented her, and no repentance embittered herbeneficence. Their worth was without suspicion, and their misfortuneswere not of their own seeking; the post in which they had beenstationed they had never deserted, and the poverty into which they hadsunk was accidental and unavoidable. 

But here, every evil had been wantonly incurred by vanity andlicentiousness, and shamelessly followed by injustice and fraud: thedisturbance of her mind only increased by reflection, for when therights of the creditors with their injuries occurred to her, sheenquired of herself by what title or equity, she had so liberallyassisted Mr Harrel in eluding their claims, and flying the punishmentwhich the law would inflict. 

Startled by this consideration, she most severely reproached herselffor a compliance of which she had so lightly weighed the consequences, and thought with the utmost dismay, that while she had flatteredherself she was merely indulging the dictates of humanity, she mightperhaps be accused by the world as an abettor of guile and injustice. 

"And yet, " she continued, "whom can I essentially have injured butmyself? would his creditors have been benefitted by my refusal? had Ibraved the execution of his dreadful threat, and quitted his housebefore I was wrought upon to assist him, would his suicide havelessened their losses, or secured their demands? even if he had nointention but to intimidate me, who will be wronged by my enabling himto go abroad, or who would be better paid were he seized and confined?All that remains of his shattered fortune may still be claimed, thoughI have saved him from a lingering imprisonment, desperate for himselfand his wife, and useless for those he has plundered. "

And thus, now soothed by the purity of her intentions, and now uneasyfrom the rectitude of her principles, she alternately rejoiced andrepined at what she had done. 

At dinner Mr Harrel was all civility and good humour. He warmlythanked Cecilia for the kindness she had shewn him, and gaily added, "You should be absolved from all the mischief you may do for atwelvemonth to come, in reward for the preservation from mischiefwhich you have this day effected. "

"The preservation, " said Cecilia, "will I hope be for many days. Buttell me, sir, exactly, at what time I may acquaint Mrs Delvile I shallwait upon her?"

"Perhaps, " he answered, "by eight o'clock; perhaps by nine; you willnot mind half an hour?"

"Certainly not;" she answered, unwilling by disputing about a trifleto diminish his satisfaction in her assistance. She wrote, therefore, another note to Mrs Delvile, desiring she would not expect her tillnear ten o'clock, and promising to account and apologize for theseseeming caprices when she had the honour of seeing her. 

The rest of the afternoon she spent wholly in exhorting Mrs Harrel toshew more fortitude, and conjuring her to study nothing while abroadbut oeconomy, prudence and housewifery: a lesson how hard for thethoughtless and negligent Priscilla! she heard the advice withrepugnance, and only answered it with helpless complaints that sheknew not how to spend less money than she had always done. 

After tea, Mr Harrel, still in high spirits, went out, entreatingCecilia to stay with Priscilla till his return, which he promisedshould be early. 

Nine o'clock, however, came, and he did not appear; Cecilia then grewanxious to keep her appointment with Mrs Delvile; but ten o'clock alsocame, and still Mr Harrel was absent. 

She then determined to wait no longer, and rang her bell for herservant and chair: but when Mrs Harrel desired to be informed themoment that Mr Harrel returned, the man said he had been come homemore than half an hour. 

Much surprised, she enquired where he was. 

"In his own room, madam, and gave orders not to be disturbed. "

Cecilia, who was not much pleased at this account, was easilypersuaded to stay a few minutes longer; and, fearing some new evil, she was going to send him a message, by way of knowing how he wasemployed, when he came himself into the room. 

"Well, ladies, " he cried in a hurrying manner, "who is for Vauxhall?"

"Vauxhall!" repeated Mrs Harrel, while Cecilia, staring, perceived inhis face a look of perturbation that extremely alarmed her. 

"Come, come, " he cried, "we have no time to lose. A hackney coach willserve us; we won't wait for our own. "

"Have you then given up going abroad?" said Mrs Harrel. 

"No, no; where can we go from half so well? let us live while we live!I have ordered a chaise to be in waiting there. Come, let's be gone. "

"First, " said Cecilia, "let me wish you both good night. "

"Will you not go with me?" cried Mrs Harrel, "how can I go to Vauxhallalone?"

"You are not alone, " answered she; "but if I go, how am I to return?"

"She shall return with you, " cried Mr Harrel, "if you desire it; youshall return together. "

Mrs Harrel, starting up in rapture, called out "Oh Mr Harrel, will youindeed leave me in England?"

"Yes, " answered he reproachfully, "if you will make a better friendthan you have made a wife, and if Miss Beverley is content to takecharge of you. "

"What can all this mean?" exclaimed Cecilia, "is it possible you canbe serious? Are you really going yourself, and will you suffer MrsHarrel to remain?"

"I am, " he answered, "and I will. "

Then ringing the bell, he ordered a hackney coach. 

Mrs Harrel was scarce able to breathe for extacy, nor Cecilia foramazement: while Mr Harrel, attending to neither of them, walked forsome time silently about the room. 

"But how, " cried Cecilia at last, "can I possibly go? Mrs Delvile mustalready be astonished at my delay, and if I disappoint her again shewill hardly receive me. "

"O make not any difficulties, " cried Mrs Harrel in an agony; "if MrHarrel will let me stay, sure you will not be so cruel as to opposehim?"

"But why, " said Cecilia, "should either of us go to Vauxhall? surelythat is no place for a parting so melancholy. "

A servant then came in, and said the hackney coach was at the door. 

Mr Harrel, starting at the sound, called out, "come, what do we waitfor? if we go not immediately, we may be prevented. "

Cecilia then again wished them good night, protesting she could failMrs Delvile no longer. 

Mrs Harrel, half wild at this refusal, conjured her in the mostfrantic manner, to give way, exclaiming, "Oh cruel! cruel! to deny methis last request! I will kneel to you day and night, " sinking uponthe ground before her, "and I will serve you as the humblest of yourslaves, if you will but be kind in this last instance, and save mefrom banishment and misery!"

"Oh rise, Mrs Harrel, " cried Cecilia, ashamed of her prostration, andshocked by her vehemence, "rise and let me rest!--it is painful to meto refuse, but to comply for ever in defiance of my judgment--Oh MrsHarrel, I know no longer what is kind or what is cruel, nor have Iknown for some time past right from wrong, nor good from evil!"

"Come, " cried Mr Harrel impetuously, "I wait not another minute!"

"Leave her then with me!" said Cecilia, "I will perform my promise, MrArnott will I am sure hold his to be sacred, she shall now go withhim, she shall hereafter come to me, --leave her but behind, and dependupon our care. "

"No, no, " cried he, with quickness, "I must take care of her myself. Ishall not carry her abroad with me, but the only legacy I can leaveher, is a warning which I hope she will remember for ever. _You_, however, need not go. "

"What, " cried Mrs Harrel, "leave me at Vauxhall, and yet leave mealone?"

"What of that?" cried he with fierceness, "do you not desire to beleft? have you any regard for me? or for any thing upon earth butyourself! cease these vain clamours, and come, I insist upon it, thismoment. "

And then, with a violent oath, he declared he would be detained nolonger, and approached in great rage to seize her; Mrs Harrel shriekedaloud, and the terrified Cecilia exclaimed, "If indeed you are to partto-night, part not thus dreadfully!--rise, Mrs Harrel, and comply!--bereconciled, be kind to her, Mr Harrel!--and I will go with her myself, --we will all go together!"

"And why, " cried Mr Harrel, more gently yet with the utmost emotion, "why should _you_ go!--_you_ want no warning! _you_ need no terror!--better far had you fly us, and my wife when I am set out may find you. "

Mrs Harrel, however, suffered her not to recede; and Cecilia, thoughhalf distracted by the scenes of horror and perplexity in which shewas perpetually engaged, ordered her servant to acquaint Mrs Delvileshe was again compelled to defer waiting upon her. 

Mr Harrel then hurried them both into the coach, which he directed toVauxhall. 

"Pray write to me when you are landed, " said Mrs Harrel, who nowreleased from her personal apprehensions, began to feel some for herhusband. 

He made not any answer. She then asked to what part of France he meantto go: but still he did not reply: and when she urged him by a thirdquestion, he told her in a rage to torment him no more. 

During the rest of the ride not another word was Said; Mrs Harrelwept, her husband guarded a gloomy silence, and Cecilia mostunpleasantly passed her time between anxious suspicions of some newscheme, and a terrified wonder in what all these transactions wouldterminate. 

CHAPTER xii. 

A MAN OF BUSINESS. 

When they entered Vauxhall, Mr Harrel endeavoured to dismiss hismoroseness, and affecting his usual gaiety, struggled to recover hisspirits; but the effort was vain, he could neither talk nor look likehimself, and though from time to time he resumed his air of wontedlevity, he could not support it, but drooped and hung his head inevident despondency. 

He made them take several turns in the midst of the company, andwalked so fast that they could hardly keep pace with him, as if hehoped by exercise to restore his vivacity; but every attempt failed, he sunk and grew sadder, and muttering between his teeth "this is notto be borne!" he hastily called to a waiter to bring him a bottle ofchampagne. 

Of this he drank glass after glass, notwithstanding Cecilia, as MrsHarrel had not courage to speak, entreated him to forbear. He seemed, however, not to hear her; but when he had drunk what he thoughtnecessary to revive him, he conveyed them into an unfrequented part ofthe garden, and as soon as they were out of sight of all but a fewstragglers, he suddenly stopt, and, in great agitation, said, "mychaise will soon be ready, and I shall take of you a long farewell!--all my affairs are unpropitious to my speedy return:--the wine is nowmounting into my head, and perhaps I may not be able to say much byand by. I fear I have been cruel to you, Priscilla, and I begin towish I had spared you this parting scene; yet let it not be banishedyour remembrance, but think of it when you are tempted to such madfolly as has ruined us. "

Mrs Harrel wept too much to make any answer; and turning from her toCecilia, "Oh Madam, " he cried, "to _you_, indeed, I dare notspeak! I have used you most unworthily, but I pay for it all! I askyou not to pity or forgive me, I know it is impossible you should doeither. "

"No, " cried the softened Cecilia, "it is not impossible, I do both atthis moment, and I hope--"

"Do not hope, " interrupted he, "be not so angelic, for I cannot bearit! benevolence like yours should have fallen into worthier hands. Butcome, let us return to the company. My head grows giddy, but my heartis still heavy; I must make them more fit companions for each other. "

He would then have hurried them back; but Cecilia, endeavouring tostop him, said "You do not mean, I hope, to call for more wine?"

"Why not?" cried he, with affected spirit, "what, shall we not bemerry before we part? Yes, we will all be merry, for if we are not, how shall we part at all?--Oh not without a struggle!--" Then, stopping, he paused a moment, and casting off the mask of levity, saidin accents the most solemn "I commit this packet to _you_, "giving a sealed parcel to Cecilia; "had I written it later, itscontents had been kinder to my wife, for now the hour of separationapproaches, ill will and resentment subside. Poor Priscilla!--I amsorry--but you will succour her, I am sure you will, --Oh had I knownyou myself before this infatuation--bright pattern of all goodness!--but I was devoted, --a ruined wretch before ever you entered my house;unworthy to be saved, unworthy that virtues such as yours should dwellunder the same roof with me! But come, --come now, or my resolutionwill waver, and I shall not go at last. "

"But what is this packet?" cried Cecilia, "and why do you give it tome?"

"No matter, no matter, you will know by and by;--the chaise waits, andI must gather courage to be gone. "

He then pressed forward, answering neither to remonstrance norintreaty from his frightened companions. 

The moment they returned to the covered walk, they were met by MrMarriot; Mr Harrel, starting, endeavoured to pass him; but when heapproached, and said "you have sent, Sir, no answer to my letter!" hestopt, and in a tone of forced politeness, said, "No, Sir, but I shallanswer it to-morrow, and to-night I hope you will do me the honour ofsupping with me. "

Mr Marriot, looking openly at Cecilia as his inducement, thoughevidently regarding himself as an injured man, hesitated a moment, yetaccepted the invitation. 

"To supper?" cried Mrs Harrel, "what here?"

"To supper?" repeated Cecilia, "and how are we to get home?"

"Think not of that these two hours, " answered he; "come, let us lookfor a box. "

Cecilia then grew quite urgent with him to give up a scheme which mustkeep them so late, and Mrs Harrel repeatedly exclaimed "Indeed peoplewill think it very odd to see us here without any party:" but heheeded them not, and perceiving at some distance Mr Morrice, he calledout to him to find them a box; for the evening was very pleasant, andthe gardens were so much crowded that no accommodation was unseized. 

"Sir, " cried Morrice, with his usual readiness, "I'll get you one if Iturn out ten old Aldermen sucking custards. "

Just after he was gone, a fat, sleek, vulgar-looking man, dressed in abright purple coat, with a deep red waistcoat, and a wig bulging farfrom his head with small round curls, while his plump face and personannounced plenty and good living, and an air of defiance spoke thefullness of his purse, strutted boldly up to Mr Harrel, and accostinghim in a manner that shewed some diffidence of his reception, but noneof his right, said "Sir your humble servant. " And made a bow first tohim, and then to the ladies. 

"Sir yours, " replied Mr Harrel scornfully, and without touching hishat he walked quickly on. 

His fat acquaintance, who seemed but little disposed to be offendedwith impunity, instantly replaced his hat on his head, and with a lookthat implied _I'll fit you for this!_ put his hands to his sides, and following him, said "Sir, I must make bold to beg the favour ofexchanging a few words with you. "

"Ay, Sir, " answered Mr Harrel, "come to me to-morrow, and you shallexchange as many as you please. "

"Nothing like the time present, Sir, " answered the man; "as forto-morrow, I believe it intends to come no more; for I have heard of itany time these three years. I mean no reflections, Sir, but let everyman have his right. That's what I say, and that's my notion of things. "

Mr Harrel, with a violent execration, asked what he meant by dunninghim at such a place as Vauxhall?

"One place, Sir, " he replied, "is as good as another place; for so aswhat one does is good, 'tis no matter for where it may be. A _man ofbusiness_ never wants a counter if he can meet with a joint-stool. For my part, I'm all for a clear conscience, and no bills withoutreceipts to them. "

"And if you were all for broken bones, " cried Mr Harrel, angrily, "Iwould oblige you with them without delay. "

"Sir, " cried the man, equally provoked, "this is talking quite out ofcharacter, for as to broken bones, there's ne'er a person in allEngland, gentle nor simple, can say he's a right to break mine, forI'm not a person of that sort, but a man of as good property asanother man; and there's ne'er a customer I have in the world that'smore his own man than myself. "

"Lord bless me, Mr Hobson, " cried Mrs Harrel, "don't follow us in thismanner! If we meet any of our acquaintance they'll think us halfcrazy. "

"Ma'am, " answered Mr Hobson, again taking off his hat, "if I'm treatedwith proper respect, no man will behave more generous than myself; butif I'm affronted, all I can say is, it may go harder with some folksthan they think for. "

Here a little mean-looking man, very thin, and almost bent double withperpetual cringing, came up to Mr Hobson, and pulling him by thesleeve, whispered, yet loud enough to be heard, "It's surprizeable tome, Mr Hobson, you can behave so out of the way! For my part, perhapsI've as much my due as another person, but I dares to say I shall haveit when it's convenient, and I'd scorn for to mislest a gentleman whenhe's taking his pleasure. "

"Lord bless me, " cried Mrs Harrel, "what shall we do now? here's allMr Harrel's creditors coming upon us!"

"Do?" cried Mr Harrel, re-assuming an air of gaiety, "why give themall a supper, to be sure. Come, gentlemen, will you favour me withyour company to supper?"

"Sir, " answered Mr Hobson, somewhat softened by this unexpectedinvitation, "I've supped this hour and more, and had my glass too, forI'm as willing to spend my money as another man; only what I say isthis, I don't chuse to be cheated, for that's losing one's substance, and getting no credit; however, as to drinking another glass, or sucha matter as that, I'll do it with all the pleasure in life. "

"And as to me, " said the other man, whose name was Simkins, and whosehead almost touched the ground by the profoundness of his reverence, "I can't upon no account think of taking the liberty; but if I mayjust stand without, I'll make bold to go so far as just for to drinkmy humble duty to the ladies in a cup of cyder. "

"Are you mad, Mr Harrel, are you mad!" cried his wife, "to think ofasking such people as these to supper? what will every body say?suppose any of our acquaintance should see us? I am sure I shall diewith shame. "

"Mad!" repeated he, "no, not mad but merry. O ho, Mr Morrice, why haveyou been so long? what have you done for us?"

"Why Sir, " answered Morrice, returning with a look somewhat lesselated than he had set out, "the gardens are so full, there is not abox to be had: but I hope we shall get one for all that; for Iobserved one of the best boxes in the garden, just to the right there, with nobody in it but that gentleman who made me spill the tea-pot atthe Pantheon. So I made an apology, and told him the case; but he onlysaid _humph?_ and _hay?_ so then I told it all over again, buthe served me just the same, for he never seems to hear what one saystill one's just done, and then he begins to recollect one's speaking tohim; however, though I repeated it all over and over again, I could getnothing from him but just that _humph?_ and _hay?_ but he is soremarkably absent, that I dare say if we all go and sit down round him, he won't know a word of the matter. "

"Won't he?" cried Mr Harrel, "have at him, then!"

And he followed Mr Morrice, though Cecilia, who now half suspectedthat all was to end in a mere idle frolic, warmly joined herremonstrances to those of Mrs Harrel, which were made with the utmost, but with fruitless earnestness. 

Mr Meadows, who was seated in the middle of the box, was lollopingupon the table with his customary ease, and picking his teeth with hisusual inattention to all about him. The intrusion, however, of solarge a party, seemed to threaten his insensibility with unavoidabledisturbance; though imagining they meant but to look in at the box, and pass on, he made not at their first approach any alteration in hisattitude or employment. 

"See, ladies, " cried the officious Morrice, "I told you there wasroom; and I am sure this gentleman will be very happy to make way foryou, if it's only out of good-nature to the waiters, as he is neithereating nor drinking, nor doing any thing at all. So if you two ladieswill go in at that side, Mr Harrel and that other gentleman, " pointingto Mr Marriot, "may go to the other, and then I'll sit by the ladieshere, and those other two gentlemen--"

Here Mr Meadows, raising himself from his reclining posture, andstaring Morrice in the face, gravely said, "What's all this, Sir!"

Morrice, who expected to have arranged the whole party without aquestion, and who understood so little of modish airs as to suspectneither affectation nor trick in the absence of mind and indolence ofmanners which he observed in Mr Meadows, was utterly amazed by thisinterrogatory, and staring himself in return, said, "Sir, you seemedso thoughtful--I did not think--I did not suppose you would have takenany notice of just a person or two coming into the box. "

"Did not you, Sir?" said Mr Meadows very coldly, "why then now you do, perhaps you'll be so obliging as to let me have my own box to myself. "

And then again he returned to his favourite position. 

"Certainly, Sir, " said Morrice, bowing; "I am sure I did not mean todisturb you: for you seemed so lost in thought, that I'm sure I didnot much believe you would have seen us. "

"Why Sir, " said Mr Hobson, strutting forward, "if I may speak myopinion, I should think, as you happen to be quite alone, a littleagreeable company would be no such bad thing. At least that's mynotion. "

"And if I might take the liberty, " said the smooth tongued Mr Simkins, "for to put in a word, I should think the best way would be, if thegentleman has no peticklar objection, for me just to stand somewherehereabouts, and so, when he's had what he's a mind to, be ready for topop in at one side, as he comes out at the t'other; for if one doesnot look pretty 'cute such a full night as this, a box is whipt awaybefore one knows where one is. "

"No, no, no, " cried Mrs Harrel impatiently, "let us neither sup inthis box nor in any other; let us go away entirely. "

"Indeed we must! indeed we ought!" cried Cecilia; "it is utterlyimproper we should stay; pray let us be gone immediately. "

Mr Harrel paid not the least regard to these requests; but Mr Meadows, who could no longer seem unconscious of what passed, did himself somuch violence as to arise, and ask if the ladies would be seated. 

"I said so!" cried Morrice triumphantly, "I was sure there was nogentleman but would be happy to accommodate two such ladies!"

The ladies, however, far from happy in being so accommodated, againtried their utmost influence in persuading Mr Harrel to give up thisscheme; but he would not hear them, he insisted upon their going intothe box, and, extending the privilege which Mr Meadows had given, heinvited without ceremony the whole party to follow. 

Mr Meadows, though he seemed to think this a very extraordinaryencroachment, had already made such an effort from his general languorin the repulse he had given to Morrice, that he could exert himself nofurther; but after looking around him with mingled vacancy andcontempt, he again seated himself, and suffered Morrice to do thehonours without more opposition. Morrice, but too happy in theoffice, placed Cecilia next to Mr Meadows, and would have made MrMarriot her other neighbour, but she insisted upon not being partedfrom Mrs Harrel, and therefore, as he chose to sit also by that ladyhimself, Mr Marriot was obliged to follow Mr Harrel to the other sideof the box: Mr Hobson, without further invitation, placed himselfcomfortably in one of the corners, and Mr Simkins, who stood modestlyfor some time in another, finding the further encouragement for whichbe waited was not likely to arrive, dropt quietly into his seatwithout it. 

Supper was now ordered, and while it was preparing Mr Harrel sattotally silent; but Mr Meadows thought proper to force himself to talkwith Cecilia, though she could well have dispensed with such anexertion of his politeness. 

"Do you like this place, ma'am?"

"Indeed I hardly know, --I never was here before. "

"No wonder! the only surprise is that any body can come to it at all. To see a set of people walking after nothing! strolling about withoutview or object! 'tis strange! don't you think so, ma'am?"

"Yes, --I believe so, " said Cecilia, scarce hearing him. 

"O it gives me the vapours, the horrors, " cried he, "to see what poorcreatures we all are! taking pleasure even from the privation of it!forcing ourselves into exercise and toil, when we might at least havethe indulgence of sitting still and reposing!"

"Lord, Sir, " cried Morrice, "don't you like walking?"

"Walking?" cried he, "I know nothing so humiliating: to see a rationalbeing in such mechanical motion! with no knowledge upon whatprinciples he proceeds, but plodding on, one foot before another, without even any consciousness which is first, or how either--"

"Sir, " interrupted Mr Hobson, "I hope you won't take it amiss if Imake bold to tell my opinion, for my way is this, let every man speakhis maxim! But what I say as to this matter, is this, if a man mustalways be stopping to consider what foot he is standing upon, he hadneed have little to do, being the right does as well as the left, andthe left as well as the right. And that, Sir, I think is a fairargument. "

Mr Meadows deigned no other answer to this speech than a look ofcontempt. 

"I fancy, Sir, " said Morrice, "you are fond of riding, for all yourgood horsemen like nothing else. "

"Riding!" exclaimed Mr Meadows, "Oh barbarous! Wrestling and boxingare polite arts to it! trusting to the discretion of an animal lessintellectual than ourselves! a sudden spring may break all our limbs, a stumble may fracture our sculls! And what is the inducement? to getmelted with heat, killed with fatigue, and covered with dust!miserable infatuation!--Do you love riding, ma'am?"

"Yes, very well, Sir. "

"I am glad to hear it, " cried he, with a vacant smile; "you are quiteright; I am entirely of your opinion. "

Mr Simkins now, with a look of much perplexity, yet rising and bowing, said "I don't mean, Sir, to be so rude as to put in my oar, but if Idid not take you wrong, I'm sure just now I thought you seemed for tomake no great 'count of riding, and yet now, all of the sudden, onewould think you was a speaking up for it!"

"Why, Sir, " cried Morrice, "if you neither like riding nor walking, you can have no pleasure at all but only in sitting. "

"Sitting!" repeated Mr Meadows, with a yawn, "O worse and worse! itdispirits me to death! it robs me of all fire and life! it weakenscirculation, and destroys elasticity. "

"Pray then, Sir, " said Morrice, "do you like any better to stand?"

"To stand? O intolerable! the most unmeaning thing in the world! onehad better be made a mummy!"

"Why then, pray Sir, " said Mr Hobson, "let me ask the favour of you totell us what it is you _do_ like?"

Mr Meadows, though he stared him full in the face, began picking histeeth without making any answer. 

"You see, Mr Hobson, " said Mr Simkins, "the gentleman has no mind forto tell you; but if I may take the liberty just to put in, I think ifhe neither likes walking, nor riding, nor sitting, nor standing, Itake it he likes nothing. "

"Well, Sir, " said Morrice, "but here comes supper, and I hope you willlike that. Pray Sir, may I help you to a bit of this ham?"

Mr Meadows, not seeming to hear him, suddenly, and with an air ofextreme weariness, arose, and without speaking to anybody, abruptlymade his way out of the box. 

Mr Harrel now, starting from the gloomy reverie into which he hadsunk, undertook to do the honours of the table, insisting with muchviolence upon helping every body, calling for more provisions, andstruggling to appear in high spirits and good humour. 

In a few minutes Captain Aresby, who was passing by the box, stopt tomake his compliments to Mrs Harrel and Cecilia. 

"What a concourse!" he cried, casting up his eyes with an expressionof half-dying fatigue, "are you not _accablé_? for my part, Ihardly respire. I have really hardly ever had the honour of being so_obsedé_ before. "

"We can make very good room, Sir, " said Morrice, "if you chuse to comein. "

"Yes, " said Mr Simkins, obsequiously standing up, I am sure thegentleman will be very welcome to take my place, for I did not meanfor to sit down, only just to look agreeable. "

"By no means, Sir, " answered the Captain: "I shall be quite _audesespoir_ if I derange any body. "

"Sir, " said Mr Hobson, "I don't offer you my place, because I take itfor granted if you had a mind to come in, you would not stand uponceremony; for what I say is, let every man speak his mind, and then weshall all know how to conduct ourselves. That's my way, and let anyman tell me a better!"

The Captain, after looking at him with a surprise not wholly unmixtwith horror, turned from him without making any answer, and said toCecilia, "And how long, ma'am, have you tried this petrifying place?"

"An hour, --two hours, I believe, " she answered. 

"Really? and nobody here! _assez de monde_, but nobody here! ablank _partout_!"

"Sir, " said Mr Simkins, getting out of the box that he might bow withmore facility, "I humbly crave pardon for the liberty, but if Iunderstood right, you said something of a blank? pray, Sir, if I maybe so free, has there been any thing of the nature of a lottery, or araffle, in the garden? or the like of that?"

"Sir!" said the Captain, regarding him from head to foot, "I am quite_assommé_ that I cannot comprehend your allusion. "

"Sir, I ask pardon, " said the man, bowing still lower, "I only thoughtif in case it should not be above half a crown, or such a matter asthat, I might perhaps stretch a point once in a way. "

The Captain, more and more amazed, stared at him again, but notthinking it necessary to take any further notice of him, he enquiredof Cecilia if she meant to stay late. 

"I hope not, " she replied, "I have already stayed later than I wishedto do. "

"Really!" said he, with an unmeaning smile, "Well, that is as horrid athing as I have the _malheur_ to know. For my part, I make it aprinciple not to stay long in these semi-barbarous places, for after acertain time, they bore me to that degree I am quite _abimé_. Ishall, however, do _mon possible_ to have the honour of seeingyou again. "

And then, with a smile of yet greater insipidity, he protested he was_reduced to despair_ in leaving her, and walked on. 

"Pray, ma'am, if I may be so bold, " said Mr Hobson, "what countrymanmay that gentleman be?"

"An Englishman, I suppose, Sir, " said Cecilia. 

"An Englishman, ma'am!" said Mr Hobson, "why I could not understandone word in ten that came out of his mouth. "

"Why indeed, " said Mr Simkins, "he has a mighty peticklar way ofspeaking, for I'm sure I thought I could have sworn he said somethingof a blank, or to that amount, but I could make nothing of it when Icome to ask him about it. "

"Let every man speak to be understood, " cried Mr Hobson, "that's mynotion of things: for as to all those fine words that nobody can makeout, I hold them to be of no use. Suppose a man was to talk in thatmanner when he's doing business, what would be the upshot? who'dunderstand what he meant? Well, that's the proof; what i'n't fit forbusiness, i'n't of no value: that's my way of judging, and that's whatI go upon. "

"He said some other things, " rejoined Mr Simkins, "that I could notmake out very clear, only I had no mind to ask any more questions, forfear of his answering me something I should not understand: but aswell as I could make it out, I thought I heard him say there wasnobody here! what he could mean by that, I can't pretend for to guess, for I'm sure the garden is so stock full, that if there was to comemany more, I don't know where they could cram 'em. "

"I took notice of it at the time, " said Mr Hobson, "for it i'n't manythings are lost upon me; and, to tell you the truth, I thought he hadbeen making pretty free with his bottle, by his seeing no better. "

"Bottle!" cried Mr Harrel, "a most excellent hint, Mr Hobson! come!let us all make free with the bottle!"

He then called for more wine, and insisted that every body shouldpledge him. Mr Marriot and Mr Morrice made not any objection, and MrHobson and Mr Simkins consented with much delight. 

Mr Harrel now grew extremely unruly, the wine he had already drunkbeing thus powerfully aided; and his next project was to make his wifeand Cecilia follow his example. Cecilia, more incensed than ever tosee no preparation made for his departure, and all possible painstaken to unfit him for setting out, refused him with equal firmnessand displeasure, and lamented, with the bitterest self-reproaches, theconsent which had been forced from her to be present at a scene ofsuch disorder: but Mrs Harrel would have opposed him in vain, had nothis attention been called off to another object. This was Sir RobertFloyer, who perceiving the party at some distance, no sooner observedMr Marriot in such company, than advancing to the box with an air ofrage and defiance, he told Mr Harrel he had something to say to him. 

"Ay, " cried Harrel, "say to me? and so have I to say to you! Comeamongst us and be merry! Here, make room, make way! Sit close, myfriends!"

Sir Robert, who now saw he was in no situation to be reasoned with, stood for a moment silent; and then, looking round the box, andobserving Messrs Hobson and Simkins, he exclaimed aloud "Why whatqueer party have you got into? who the d---l have you picked up here?"

Mr Hobson, who, to the importance of lately acquired wealth, now addedthe courage of newly drunk Champagne, stoutly kept his ground, withoutseeming at all conscious he was included in this interrogation; but MrSimkins, who had still his way to make in the world, and whosehabitual servility would have resisted a larger draught, was easilyintimidated; he again, therefore stood up, and with the most cringingrespect offered the Baronet his place: who, taking neither of theoffer nor offerer the smallest notice, still stood opposite to MrHarrel, waiting for some explanation. 

Mr Harrel, however, who now grew really incapable of giving any, onlyrepeated his invitation that he would make one among them. 

"One among you?" cried he, angrily, and pointing to Mr Hobson, "whyyou don't fancy I'll sit down with a bricklayer?"

"A bricklayer?" said Mr Harrel, "ay, sure, and a hosier too; sit down, Mr Simkins, keep your place, man!"

Mr Simkins most thankfully bowed; but Mr Hobson, who could no longeravoid feeling the personality of this reflection, boldly answered, "Sir, you may sit down with a worse man any day in the week! I havedone nothing I'm ashamed of, and no man can say to me why did you so?I don't tell you, Sir, what I'm worth; no one has a right to ask; Ionly say three times five is fifteen! that's all. "

"Why what the d----l, you impudent fellow, " cried the haughty Baronet, "you don't presume to mutter, do you?"

"Sir, " answered Mr Hobson, very hotly, "I sha'n't put up with abusefrom no man! I've got a fair character in the world, and wherewithalto live by my own liking. And what I have is my own, and all I say is, let every one say the same, for that's the way to fear no man, andface the d----l. "

"What do you mean by that, fellow?" cried Sir Robert. 

"Fellow, Sir! this is talking no how. Do you think a man of substance, that's got above the world, is to be treated like a little scrubbyapprentice? Let every man have his own, that's always my way ofthinking; and this I can say for myself, I have as good a right toshew my head where I please as ever a member of parliament in allEngland: and I wish every body here could say as much. "

Sir Robert, fury starting into his eyes, was beginning an answer; butMrs Harrel with terror, and Cecilia with dignity, calling upon themboth to forbear, the Baronet desired Morrice to relinquish his placeto him, and seating himself next to Mrs Harrel, gave over the contest. 

Meanwhile Mr Simkins, hoping to ingratiate himself with the company, advanced to Mr Hobson, already cooled by finding himself unanswered, and reproachfully said "Mr Hobson, if I may make so free, I must needsbe bold to say I am quite ashamed of you! a person of your standingand credit for to talk so disrespectful! as if a gentleman had not aright to take a little pleasure, because he just happens to owe you alittle matters of money: fie, fie, Mr Hobson! I did not expect you tobehave so despiseable!"

"Despiseable!" answered Mr Hobson, "I'd scorn as much to do anythingdespiseable as yourself, or any thing misbecoming of a gentleman; andas to coming to such a place as this may be, why I have no objectionto it. All I stand to is this, let every man have his due; for as totaking a little pleasure, here I am, as one may say, doing the samemyself; but where's the harm of that? who's a right to call a man toaccount that's clear of the world? Not that I mean to boast, nornothing like it, but, as I said before; five times five is fifteen;[Footnote: I hardly know whether the authoress has here forgotten herarithmetic, or intentionally suffered Mr Hobson to forget his, fromthe effects of champagne. --Ed. ]--that's my calculation. "

Mr Harrel, who, during this debate, had still continued drinking, regardless of all opposition from his wife and Cecilia, now grew moreand more turbulent: he insisted that Mr Simkins should return to hisseat, ordered him another bumper of champagne, and saying he had nothalf company enough to raise his spirits, desired Morrice to go andinvite more. 

Morrice, always ready to promote a frolic, most chearfully consented;but when Cecilia, in a low voice, supplicated him to bring no oneback, with still more readiness he made signs that he understood andwould obey her. 

Mr Harrel then began to sing, and in so noisy and riotous a manner, that nobody approached the box without stopping to stare at him; andthose who were new to such scenes, not contented with merely lookingin, stationed themselves at some distance before it, to observe whatwas passing, and to contemplate with envy and admiration an appearanceof mirth and enjoyment which they attributed to happiness andpleasure! Mrs Harrel, shocked to be seen in such mixed company, grewevery instant more restless and miserable; and Cecilia, halfdistracted to think how they were to get home, had passed all her timein making secret vows that if once again she was delivered from MrHarrel she would never see him more. 

Sir Robert Floyer perceiving their mutual uneasiness, proposed toescort them home himself; and Cecilia, notwithstanding her aversion tohim, was listening to the scheme, when Mr Marriot, who had beenevidently provoked and disconcerted since the junction of the Baronet, suspecting what was passing, offered his services also, and in a toneof voice that did not promise a very quiet acquiescence in a refusal. 

Cecilia, who, too easily, in their looks, saw all the eagerness ofrivalry, now dreaded the consequence of her decision, and thereforedeclined the assistance of either: but her distress was unspeakable, as there was not one person in the party to whose care she couldcommit herself, though the behaviour of Mr Harrel, which every momentgrew more disorderly, rendered the necessity of quitting him urgentand uncontroulable. 

When Morrice returned, stopping in the midst of his loud and violentsinging, he vehemently demanded what company he had brought him?

"None at all, sir, " answered Morrice, looking significantly atCecilia; "I have really been so unlucky as not to meet with any bodywho had a mind to come. "

"Why then, " answered he, starting up, "I will seek some for myself. ""O no, pray, Mr Harrel, bring nobody else, " cried his wife. "Hear usin pity, " cried Cecilia, "and distress us no further. "

"Distress you?" cried he, with quickness, "what shall I not bring youthose pretty girls? Yes, one more glass, and I will teach you towelcome them. "

And he poured out another bumper. 

"This is so insupportable!" cried Cecilia, rising, "[that] I canremain here no longer. "

"This is cruel indeed, " cried Mrs. Harrel, bursting into tears; "didyou only bring me here to insult me?"

"No!" cried he, suddenly embracing her, "by this parting kiss!" thenwildly jumping upon his seat, he leapt over the table, and was out ofsight in an instant. 

Amazement seized all who remained; Mrs Harrel and Cecilia, indeed, doubted not but he was actually gone to the chaise he had ordered; butthe manner of his departure affrighted them, and his precedingbehaviour had made them cease to expect it: Mrs Harrel, leaning uponCecilia, continued to weep, while she, confounded and alarmed, scarceknew whether she should stay and console her, or fly after Mr Harrel, whom she feared had incapacitated himself from finding his chaise, bythe very method he had taken to gather courage for seeking it. 

This, however, was but the apprehension of a moment; another and a farmore horrible one drove it from her imagination: for scarcely had MrHarrel quitted the box and their sight, before their ears weresuddenly struck with the report of a pistol. 

Mrs Harrel gave a loud scream, which was involuntarily echoed by, Cecilia: everybody arose, some with officious zeal to serve theladies, and others to hasten to the spot whence the dreadful soundproceeded. 

Sir Robert Floyer again offered his services in conducting them home;but they could listen to no such proposal: Cecilia, with difficultyrefrained from rushing out herself to discover what was passing; buther dread of being followed by Mrs Harrel prevented her; they both, therefore, waited, expecting every instant some intelligence, as allbut the Baronet and Mr Marriot were now gone to seek it. 

Nobody, however, returned; and their terrors encreased every moment:Mrs Harrel wanted to run out herself, but Cecilia, conjuring her tokeep still, begged Mr Marriot to bring them some account. Mr Marriot, like the messengers who had preceded him, came not back: an instantseemed an age, and Sir Robert Floyer was also entreated to procureinformation. 

Mrs Harrel and Cecilia were now left to themselves, and their horrorwas too great for speech or motion: they stood close to each other, listening to every sound and receiving every possible addition totheir alarm, by the general confusion which they observed in thegardens, in which, though both gentlemen and waiters were running toand fro, not a creature was walking, and all amusement seemedforgotten. 

From this dreadful state they were at length removed, though notrelieved, by the sight of a waiter, who, as he was passing shewedhimself almost covered with blood! Mrs Harrel vehemently called afterhim, demanding whence it came? "From the gentleman, ma'am, " answeredhe in haste, "that has shot himself, " and then ran on. 

Mrs Harrel uttered a piercing scream, and sunk on the ground; forCecilia, shuddering with horror, lost all her own strength, and couldno longer lend her any support. 

So great at this time was the general confusion of the place, that forsome minutes their particular distress was unknown, and theirsituation unnoticed; till at length an elderly gentleman came up tothe box, and humanely offered his assistance. 

Cecilia, pointing to her unfortunate friend, who had not fallen into afainting fit, but merely from weakness and terror, accepted his helpin raising her. She was lifted up, however, without the smallesteffort on her own part, and was only kept upon her seat by being heldthere by the stranger, for Cecilia, whose whole frame was shaking, tried in vain to sustain her. 

This gentleman, from the violence of their distress, began now tosuspect its motive, and addressing himself to Cecilia, said, "I amafraid, madam, this unfortunate gentleman was some Relation to you?"

Neither of them spoke, but their silence was sufficiently expressive. 

"It is pity, madam, " he continued, "that some friend can't order himout of the crowd, and have him kept quiet till a surgeon can bebrought. "

"A surgeon!" exclaimed Cecilia, recovering from one surprize by theeffect of another; "is it then possible he may be saved?"

And without waiting to have her question answered, she ran out of thebox herself, flying wildly about the garden, and calling for help asshe flew, till she found the house by the entrance; and then, going upto the bar, "Is a surgeon sent for?" she exclaimed, "let a surgeon befetched instantly!" "A surgeon, ma'am, " she was answered, "is not thegentleman dead?" "No, no, no!" she cried; "he must be brought in; letsome careful people go and bring him in. " Nor would she quit the bar, till two or three waiters were called, and received her orders. Andthen, eager to see them executed herself, she ran, fearless of beingalone, and without thought of being lost, towards the fatal spotwhither the crowd guided her. She could not, indeed, have been moresecure from insult or molestation if surrounded by twenty guards; forthe scene of desperation and horror which many had witnessed, and ofwhich all had heard the signal, engrossed the universal attention, andtook, even from the most idle and licentious, all spirit for gallantryand amusement. 

Here, while making vain attempts to penetrate through the multitude, that she might see and herself judge the actual situation of MrHarrel, and give, if yet there was room for hope, such orders as wouldbest conduce to his safety and recovery, she was met by Mr Marriot, who entreated her not to press forward to a sight which he had foundtoo shocking for himself, and insisted upon protecting her through thecrowd. 

"If he is alive, " cried she, refusing his aid, "and if there is anychance he may be saved, no sight shall be too shocking to deter mefrom seeing him properly attended. "

"All attendance, " answered he, "will be in vain: he is not indeed, yetdead, but his recovery is impossible. There is a surgeon with himalready; one who happened to be in the gardens, and he told me himselfthat the wound was inevitably mortal. "

Cecilia, though greatly disappointed, still determined to make way tohim, that she might herself enquire if, in his last moments, there wasany thing he wished to communicate, or desired to have done: but, asshe struggled to proceed, she was next met and stopt by Sir RobertFloyer, who, forcing her back, acquainted her that all was over!

The shock with which she received this account, though unmixed withany tenderness of regret, and resulting merely from general humanity, was yet so violent as almost to overpower her. Mr Harrel, indeed, hadforfeited all right to her esteem, and the unfeeling selfishness ofhis whole behaviour had long provoked her resentment and excited herdisgust; yet a catastrophe so dreadful, and from which she had herselfmade such efforts to rescue him, filled her with so much horror, that, turning extremely sick, she was obliged to be supported to the nearestbox, and stop there for hartshorn and water. 

A few minutes, however, sufficed to divest her of all care forherself, in the concern with which she recollected the situation ofMrs Harrel; she hastened, therefore, back to her, attended by theBaronet and Mr Marriot, and found her still leaning upon the stranger, and weeping aloud. 

The fatal news had already reached her; and though all affectionbetween Mr Harrel and herself had mutually subsided from the first twoor three months of their marriage, a conclusion so horrible to allconnection between them could not be heard without sorrow anddistress. Her temper, too, naturally soft, retained not resentment, and Mr Harrel, now separated from her for ever, was only remembered asthe Mr Harrel who first won her heart. 

Neither pains nor tenderness were spared on the part of Cecilia toconsole her; who finding her utterly incapable either of acting ordirecting for herself, and knowing her at all times to be extremelyhelpless, now summoned to her own aid all the strength of mind shepossessed, and determined upon this melancholy occasion, both to thinkand act for her widowed friend to the utmost stretch of her abilitiesand power. 

As soon, therefore, as the first effusions of her grief were over, sheprevailed with her to go to the house, where she was humanely offeredthe use of a quiet room till she should be better able to set off fortown. Cecilia, having seen her thus safely lodged, begged Mr Marriotto stay with her, and then, accompanied by the Baronet, returnedherself to the bar, and desiring the footman who had attended them tobe called, sent him instantly to his late master, and proceeded nextwith great presence of mind, to inquire further into the particularsof what had passed, and to consult upon what was immediately to bedone with the deceased: for she thought it neither decent nor right toleave to chance or to strangers the last duties which could be paidhim. 

He had lingered, she found, about a quarter of an hour, but in acondition too dreadful for description, quite speechless, and, by allthat could be judged, out of his senses; yet so distorted with pain, and wounded so desperately beyond any power of relief, that thesurgeon, who every instant expected his death, said it would not bemerely useless but inhuman, to remove him till he had breathed hislast. He died, therefore, in the arms of this gentleman and a waiter. 

"A waiter!" cried Cecilia, reproachfully looking at Sir Robert, "andwas there no friend who for the few poor moments that remained hadpatience to support him?"

"Where would be the good, " said Sir Robert, "of supporting a man inhis last agonies?"

This unfeeling speech she attempted not to answer, but, sufferingneither her dislike to him, nor her scruples for herself, to interferewith the present occasion, she desired to have his advice what was nowbest to be done. 

Undertaker's men must immediately, he said, be sent for, to remove thebody. 

She then gave orders for that purpose, which were instantly executed. 

Whither the body was to go was the next question: Cecilia wished theremoval to be directly to the townhouse, but Sir Robert told her itmust be carried to the nearest undertaker's, and kept there till itcould be conveyed to town in a coffin. 

For this, also, in the name of Mrs Harrel, she gave directions. Andthen addressing herself to Sir Robert, "You will now Sir, I hope, " shesaid, "return to the fatal spot, and watch by your late unfortunatefriend till the proper people arrive to take charge of him?"

"And what good will that do?" cried he; "had I not better watch byyou?"

"It will do good, " answered she, with some severity, "to decency andto humanity; and surely you cannot refuse to see who is with him, andin what situation he lies, and whether he has met, from the strangerswith whom he was left, the tenderness and care which his friends oughtto have paid him. "

"Will you promise, then, " he answered, "not to go away till I comeback? for I have no great ambition to sacrifice the living for thedead. "

"I will promise nothing, Sir, " said she, shocked at his callousinsensibility; "but if you refuse this last poor office, I must applyelsewhere; and firmly I believe there is no other I can ask who will amoment hesitate in complying. "

She then went back to Mrs Harrel, leaving, however, an impression uponthe mind of Sir Robert, that made him no longer dare dispute hercommands. 

Her next solicitude was how they should return to town; they had noequipage of their own, and the only servant who came with them wasemployed in performing the last duties for his deceased master. Herfirst intention was to order a hackney coach, but the deplorable stateof Mrs Harrel made it almost impossible she could take the sole careof her, and the lateness of the night, and their distance from home, gave her a dread invincible to going so far without some guard orassistant. Mr Marriot earnestly desired to have the honour ofconveying them to Portman-square in his own carriage, andnotwithstanding there were many objections to such a proposal, thehumanity of his behaviour upon the present occasion, and the evidentveneration which accompanied his passion, joined to her encreasingaversion to the Baronet, from whom she could not endure to receive thesmallest obligation, determined her, after much perplexity andhesitation, to accept his offer. 

She begged him, therefore, to immediately order his coach, and, happyto obey her, he went out with that design; but, instantly coming back, told her, in a low voice, that they must wait some time longer, as theUndertaker's people were then entering the garden, and if they stayednot till the removal had taken place, Mrs Harrel might be shocked withthe sight of some of the men, or perhaps even meet the dead body. 

Cecilia, thanking him for this considerate precaution, readily agreedto defer setting out; devoting, mean time, all her attention to MrsHarrel, whose sorrow, though violent, forbad not consolation. Butbefore the garden was cleared, and the carriage ordered, Sir Robertreturned; saying to Cecilia, with an air of parading obedience whichseemed to claim some applause, "Miss Beverley, your commands have beenexecuted. "

Cecilia made not any answer, and he presently added, "Whenever youchuse to go I will order up my coach. "

"_My_ coach, Sir, " said Mr Marriot, "will be ordered when theladies are ready, and I hope to have the honour myself of conductingthem to town. "

"No, Sir, " cried the Baronet, "that can never be; my long acquaintancewith Mrs Harrel gives me a prior right to attend her, and I can by nomeans suffer any other person to rob me of it. "

"I have nothing, " said Mr Marriot, "to say to that, Sir, but MissBeverley herself has done me the honour to consent to make use of mycarriage. "

"Miss Beverley, I think, " said Sir Robert, extremely piqued, "cannever have sent me out of the way in order to execute her owncommands, merely to deprive me of the pleasure of attending her andMrs Harrel home. "

Cecilia, somewhat alarmed, now sought to lessen the favour of herdecision, though she adhered to it without wavering. 

"My intention, " said she, "was not to confer, but to receive anobligation; and I had hoped, while Mr. Marriot assisted us, Sir Robertwould be far more humanely employed in taking charge of what we cannotsuperintend, and yet are infinitely more anxious should not beneglected. "

"That, " said Sir Robert, "is all done; and I hope, therefore, aftersending me upon such an errand, you don't mean to refuse me thepleasure of seeing you to town?"

"Sir Robert, " said Cecilia, greatly displeased, "I cannot argue withyou now; I have already settled my plan, and I am not at leisure tore-consider it. "

Sir Robert bit his lips for a moment in angry silence; but notenduring to lose the victory to a young rival he despised, hepresently said, "If I must talk no more about it to you, madam, I mustat least beg leave to talk of it to this gentleman, and take theliberty to represent to him--"

Cecilia now, dreading how his speech might be answered, prevented itsbeing finished, and with an air of the most spirited dignity, said, "Is it possible, sir, that at a time such as this, you should not bewholly indifferent to a matter so frivolous? little indeed will be thepleasure which our society can afford! your dispute however, has givenit some importance, and therefore Mr Marriot must accept my thanks forhis civility, and excuse me for retracting my consent. "

Supplications and remonstrances were, however, still poured upon herfrom both, and the danger, the impossibility that two ladies could goto town alone, in a hackney coach, and without even a servant, at nearfour o'clock in the morning, they mutually urged, vehementlyentreating that she would run no such hazard. 

Cecilia was far other than insensible to these representations: thedanger, indeed, appeared to her so formidable, that her inclinationthe whole time opposed her refusal; yet her repugnance to giving wayto the overbearing Baronet, and her fear of his resentment if shelistened to Mr Marriot, forced her to be steady, since she saw thather preference would prove the signal of a quarrel. 

Inattentive, therefore, to their joint persecution, she againdeliberated by what possible method she could get home in safety; butunable to devise any, she at last resolved to make enquiries of thepeople in the bar, who had been extremely humane and civil, whetherthey could assist or counsel her. She therefore desired the twogentlemen to take care of Mrs Harrel, to which neither dared dissent, as both could not refuse, and hastily arising, went out of the room:but great indeed was her surprize when, as she was walking up to thebar, she was addressed by young Delvile!

Approaching her with that air of gravity and distance which of late hehad assumed in her presence, he was beginning some speech about hismother; but the instant the sound of his voice reached Cecilia, shejoyfully clasped her hands, and eagerly exclaimed, "Mr Delvile!--O nowwe are safe!--this is fortunate indeed!"

"Safe, Madam, " cried he astonished, "yes I hope so!--has any thingendangered your safety?"

"O no matter for danger, " cried she, "we will now trust ourselves withyou, and I am sure you will protect us. "

"Protect you!" repeated he again, and with warmth, "yes, while Ilive!--but what is the matter?--why are you so pale?--are you ill?--are you frightened?--what is the matter?"

And losing all coldness and reserve, with the utmost earnestness hebegged her to explain herself. 

"Do you not know, " cried she, "what has happened? Can you be here andnot have heard it?"

"Heard what?" cried he, "I am but this moment arrived: my mother grewuneasy that she did not see you, she sent to your house, and was toldthat you were not returned from Vauxhall; some other circumstancesalso alarmed her, and therefore, late as it was, I came hither myself. The instant I entered this place, I saw you here. This is all myhistory; tell me now yours. Where is your party? where are Mr and MrsHarrel?--Why are you alone?"

"O ask not!" cried she, "I cannot tell you!--take us but under yourcare, and you will soon know all. "

She then hurried from him, and returning to Mrs Harrel, said she hadnow a conveyance at once safe and proper, and begged her to rise andcome away. 

The gentlemen, however, rose first, each of them declaring he wouldhimself attend them. 

"No, " said Cecilia, steadily, "that trouble will now be superfluous:Mrs Delvile herself has sent for me, and her son is now waiting tillwe join him. "

Amazement and disappointment at this intelligence were visible in thefaces of them both: Cecilia waited not a single question, but findingshe was unable to support Mrs Harrel, who rather suffered herself tobe carried than led, she entrusted her between them, and ran forwardto enquire of Delvile if his carriage was ready. 

She found him with a look of horror that told the tale he had beenhearing, listening to one of the waiters: the moment she appeared, heflew to her, and with the utmost emotion exclaimed, "Amiable MissBeverley! what a dreadful scene have you witnessed! what a cruel taskhave you nobly performed! such spirit with such softness! so muchpresence of mind with such feeling!--but you are all excellence!human nature can rise no higher! I believe indeed you are its mostperfect ornament!"

Praise such as this, so unexpected, and delivered with such energy, Cecilia heard not without pleasure, even at a moment when her wholemind was occupied by matters foreign to its peculiar interests. Shemade, however, her enquiry about the carriage, and he told her that hehad come in a hackney coach, which was waiting for him at the door. 

Mrs Harrel was now brought in, and little was the recompense herassistants received for their aid, when they saw Cecilia socontentedly engaged with young Delvile, whose eyes were rivetted onher face, with an expression of the most lively admiration: each, however, then quitted the other, and hastened to the fair mourner; notime was now lost, Mrs Harrel was supported to the coach, Ceciliafollowed her, and Delvile, jumping in after them, ordered the man todrive to Portman-square. 

Sir Robert and Mr Marriot, confounded though enraged, saw theirdeparture in passive silence: the right of attendance they had sotenaciously denied to each other, here admitted not of dispute:Delvile upon this occasion, appeared as the representative of hisfather, and his authority seemed the authority of a guardian. Theironly consolation was that neither had yielded to the other, and allspirit of altercation or revenge was sunk in their mutualmortification. At the petition of the waiters, from sullen but proudemulation, they paid the expences of the night, and then throwingthemselves into their carriages, returned to their respective houses. 

CHAPTER xiii. 

A SOLUTION. 

During the ride to town, not merely Cecilia, but Delvile himselfattended wholly to Mrs Harrel, whose grief as it became less violent, was more easy to be soothed. 

The distress of this eventful night was however not yet over; whenthey came to Portman-square, Delvile eagerly called to the coachmannot to drive up to the house, and anxiously begged Cecilia and MrsHarrel to sit still, while he went out himself to make some enquiries. They were surprised at the request, yet immediately consented; butbefore he had quitted them, Davison, who was watching their return, came up to them with information that an execution was then in thehouse. 

Fresh misery was now opened for Mrs Harrel, and fresh horror andperplexity for Cecilia: she had no longer, however, the whole weighteither of thought or of conduct upon herself: Delvile in her carestook the most animated interest, and beseeching her to wait a momentand appease her friend, he went himself into the house to learn thestate of the affair. 

He returned in a few minutes, and seemed in no haste to communicatewhat he had heard, but entreated them both to go immediately to StJames's-square. 

Cecilia felt extremely fearful of offending his father by theintroduction of Mrs Harrel: yet she had nothing better to propose, andtherefore, after a short and distressed argument, she complied. 

Delvile then told her that the alarm of his mother, at which he hadalready hinted, proceeded from a rumour of this very misfortune, towhich, though they knew not whether they might give credit, was owingthe anxiety which at so late an hour, had induced him to go toVauxhall in search of her. They gained admittance without anydisturbance, as the servant of young Delvile had been ordered to situp for his master. Cecilia much disliked thus taking possession of thehouse in the night-time, though Delvile, solicitous to relieve her, desired she would not waste a thought upon the subject, and making hisservant shew her the room which had been prepared for her reception, he begged her to compose her spirits, and to comfort her friend, andpromised to acquaint his father and mother when they arose with whathad happened, that she might be saved all pain from surprise orcuriosity when they met. 

This service she thankfully accepted, for she dreaded, after theliberty she had taken, to encounter the pride of Mr Delvile withoutsome previous apology, and she feared still more to see his ladywithout the same preparation, as her frequent breach of appointment. Might reasonably have offended her, and as her displeasure wouldaffect her more deeply. 

It was now near six o'clock, yet the hours seemed as long as they weremelancholy till the family arose. They settled to remain quiet tillsome message was sent to them, but before any arrived, Mrs Harrel, whowas seated upon the bed, wearied by fatigue and sorrow, cried herselfto sleep like a child. 

Cecilia rejoiced in seeing this reprieve from affliction, though herkeener sensations unfitted her from partaking of it; much indeed wasthe uneasiness which kept her awake; the care of Mrs Harrel seemed todevolve upon herself, the reception she might meet from the Delvileswas uncertain, and the horrible adventures of the night, refused for amoment to quit her remembrance. 

At ten o'clock, a message was brought from Mrs Delvile, to knowwhether they were ready for breakfast. Mrs Harrel was still asleep, but Cecilia carried her own answer by hastening down stairs. 

In her way she was met by young Delvile, whose air upon firstapproaching her spoke him again prepared to address her with the mostdistant gravity: but almost the moment he looked at her, he forgothis purpose; her paleness, the heaviness of her eyes, and the fatigueof long watching betrayed by her whole face, again, surprised him intoall the tenderness of anxiety, and he enquired after her health not asa compliment of civility, but as a question in which his whole heartwas most deeply interested. 

Cecilia thanked him for his attention to her friend the night before, and then proceeded to his mother. 

Mrs Delvile, coming forward to meet her, removed at once all her fearsof displeasure, and banished all necessity of apology, by instantlyembracing her, and warmly exclaiming "Charming Miss Beverley! howshall I ever tell you half the admiration with which I have heard ofyour conduct! The exertion of so much fortitude at a juncture when aweaker mind would have been overpowered by terror, and a heart lessunder the dominion of well-regulated principles, would have soughtonly its own relief by flying from distress and confusion, shews such_propriety of mind_ as can only result from the union of goodsense with virtue. You are indeed a noble creature! I thought so fromthe moment I beheld you; I shall think so, I hope, to the last that Ilive!"

Cecilia, penetrated with joy and gratitude, felt in that instant theamplest recompense for all that she had suffered, and for all that shehad lost. Such praise from Mrs Delvile was alone sufficient to makeher happy; but when she considered whence it sprung, and that thecircumstances with which she was so much struck, must have beenrelated to her by her son, her delight was augmented to an emotion themost pleasing she could experience, from seeing how high she was heldin the esteem of those who were highest in her own. 

Mrs Delvile then, with the utmost cordiality, began to talk of heraffairs, saving her the pain of proposing the change of habitationthat now seemed unavoidable, by an immediate invitation to her house, which she made with as much delicacy as if Mr Harrel's had still beenopen to her, and choice, not necessity, had directed her removal. Thewhole family, she told her, went into the country in two days, and shehoped that a new scene, with quietness and early hours, would restoreboth the bloom and sprightliness which her late cares and restlessnesshad injured. And though she very seriously lamented the rash action ofMr Harrel, she much rejoiced in the acquisition which her own houseand happiness would receive from her society. 

She next discussed the situation of her widowed friend, and Ceciliaproduced the packet which had been entrusted to her by her latehusband. Mrs Delvile advised her to open it in the presence of MrArnott, and begged her to send for any other of her friends she mightwish to see or consult, and to claim freely from herself whateveradvice or assistance she could bestow. 

And then, without waiting for Mr Delvile, she suffered her to swallowa hasty breakfast, and return to Mrs Harrel, whom she had desired theservants to attend, as she concluded that in her present situation shewould not chuse to make her appearance. 

Cecilia, lightened now from all her cares, more pleased than ever withMrs Delvile, and enchanted that at last she was settled under herroof, went back with as much ability as inclination to give comfort toMrs Harrel. She found her but just awaking, and scarce yet consciouswhere she was, or why not in her own house. 

As her powers of recollection returned, she was soothed with thesoftest compassion by Cecilia, who in pursuance of Mrs Delvile'sadvice, sent her servant in search of Mr Arnott, and in consequence ofher permission, wrote a note of invitation to Mr Monckton. 

Mr Arnott, who was already in town, soon arrived: his own man, whom hehad left to watch the motions of Mr Harrel, having early in themorning rode to the place of his retreat, with the melancholy tidingsof the suicide and execution. 

Cecilia instantly went down stairs to him. The meeting was extremelypainful to them both. Mr Arnott severely blamed himself for hisflight, believing it had hastened the fatal blow, which some furthersacrifices might perhaps have eluded: and Cecilia half repented theadvice she had given him, though the failure of her own efforts provedthe situation of Mr Harrel too desperate for remedy. 

He then made the tenderest enquiries about his sister, and entreatedher to communicate to him the minutest particulars of the dreadfultransaction: after which, she produced the packet, but neither of themhad the courage to break the seal; and concluding the contents wouldbe no less than his last will, they determined some third personshould be present when they opened it. Cecilia wished much for MrMonckton, but as his being immediately found was uncertain, and thepacket might consist of orders which ought not to be delayed, sheproposed, for the sake of expedition, to call in Mr Delvile. 

Mr Arnott readily agreed, and she sent to beg a moment's audience withthat gentleman. 

She was desired to walk into the breakfast-room, where he was sittingwith his lady and his son. 

Not such was now her reception as when she entered that apartmentbefore; Mr Delvile looked displeased and out of humour, and, makingher a stiff bow, while his son brought her a chair, coldly said, "Ifyou are hurried, Miss Beverley, I will attend you directly; if not, Iwill finish my breakfast, as I shall have but little time the rest ofthe morning, from the concourse of people upon business, who willcrowd upon me till dinner, most of whom will be extremely distressedif I leave town without contriving to see them. "

"There is not the least occasion, Sir, " answered Cecilia, "that Ishould trouble you to quit the room I merely came to beg you wouldhave the goodness to be present while Mr Arnott opens a small packetwhich was last night put into my hands by Mr Harrel. "

"And has Mr Arnott, " answered he, somewhat sternly, "thought proper tosend me such a request?"

"No, Sir, " said Cecilia, "the request is mine; and if, as I now fear, it is impertinent, I must entreat you to forget it. "

"As far as relates merely to yourself, " returned Mr Delvile, "it isanother matter; but certainly Mr Arnott can have no possible claimupon my time or attention; and I think it rather extraordinary, that ayoung man with whom I have no sort of connection or commerce, andwhose very name is almost unknown to me, should suppose a person in mystyle of life so little occupied as to be wholly at his command. "

"He had no such idea, Sir, " said Cecilia, greatly disconcerted; "thehonour of your presence is merely solicited by myself, and simply fromthe apprehension that some directions may be contained in the paperswhich, perhaps, ought immediately to be executed. "

"I am not, I repeat, " said Mr Delvile, more mildly, "displeased atyour part of this transaction; your want of experience and knowledgeof the world makes you not at all aware of the consequences which mayfollow my compliance: the papers you speak of may perhaps be of greatimportance, and hereafter the first witness to their being read may bepublickly called upon. You know not the trouble such an affair mayoccasion, but Mr Arnott ought to be better informed. "

Cecilia, making another apology for the error which she had committed, was in no small confusion, quitting the room; but Mr Delvile, perfectly appeased by seeing her distress, stopt her, to say, withmuch graciousness, "For your sake, Miss Beverley, I am sorry I cannotact in this business; but you see how I am situated! overpowered withaffairs of my own, and people who can do nothing without my orders. Besides, should there hereafter be any investigation into the matter, my name might, perhaps, be mentioned, and it would be superfluous tosay how ill I should think it used by being brought into suchcompany. "

Cecilia then left the rooms secretly vowing that no possible exigenceshould in future tempt her to apply for assistance to Mr Delvile, which, however ostentatiously offered, was constantly withheld whenclaimed. 

She was beginning to communicate to Mr Arnott her ill success, whenyoung Delvile, with an air of eagerness, followed her into the room. "Pardon me, " he cried, "for this intrusion, --but, tell me, is itimpossible that in this affair I can represent my father? may not theoffice you meant for him, devolve upon me? remember how near we are toeach other, and honour me for once with supposing us the same!"

Ah who, or what, thought Cecilia, can be so different? She thankedhim, with much sweetness, for his offer, but declined accepting it, saying "I will not, now I know the inconveniencies of my request, beso selfish as even to suffer it should be granted. "

"You must not deny me, " cried he; "where is the packet? why should youlose a moment?"

"Rather ask, " answered she, "why I should permit _you_ to lose amoment in a matter that does not concern you? and to risk, perhaps, the loss of many moments hereafter, from a too incautious politeness. "

"And what can I risk, " cried he, "half so precious as your smallestsatisfaction? do you suppose I can flatter myself with a possibilityof contributing to it, and yet have the resolution to refuse myself somuch pleasure? no, no, the heroic times are over, and self-denial isno longer in fashion!"

"You are very good, " said Cecilia; "but indeed after what has passed--"

"No matter for what has passed, " interrupted he, "we are now to thinkof what is to come. I know you too well to doubt your impatience inthe execution of a commission which circumstances have renderedsacred; and should any thing either be done or omitted contrary to thedirections in your packet, will you not be apt, blameless as you are, to disturb yourself with a thousand fears that you took not propermethods for the discharge of your trust?"

There was something in this earnestness so like his former behaviour, and so far removed from his late reserve, that Cecilia, who perceivedit with a pleasure she could hardly disguise, now opposed him nolonger, but took up the packet, and broke the seal. 

And then, to her no small amazement, instead of the expected will, shefound a roll of enormous bills, and a collection of letters fromvarious creditors, threatening the utmost severity of the law if theirdemands were longer unanswered. 

Upon a slip of paper which held these together, was written, in MrHarrel's hand, _To be all paid to-night with a_ BULLET. 

Next appeared two letters of another sort; the first of which was fromSir Robert Floyer, and in these words:

Sir, --As all prospects are now over of the alliance, I hope you willexcuse my reminding you of the affair at Brookes's of last Christmas. I have the honour to be, Sir, yoursR. FLOYER. 

The other was from Mr Marriot. 

Sir, --Though I should think £2000 nothing for the smallest hope, Imust take the liberty to say I think it a great deal for only tenminutes: you can't have forgot, Sir, the terms of our agreement, butas I find you cannot keep to them, I must beg to be off also on myside, and I am persuaded you are too much a man of honour to takeadvantage of my over-eagerness in parting with my money without bettersecurity. I am, Sir, your most humble servant, A. Marriot. 

What a scene of fraud, double-dealing, and iniquity was here laidopen! Cecilia, who at first meant to read every thing aloud, found theattempt utterly vain, for so much was she shocked, that she couldhardly read on to herself. 

Last of all appeared a paper in Mr Harrel's own hand-writing, containing these words. 

For Mrs Harrel, Miss Beverley, and Mr Arnott. 

I can struggle no longer, the last blow must now be struck! anotherday robs me of my house and my liberty, and blasts me by the fataldiscovery of my double attempts. 

This is what I have wished; wholly to be freed, or ruined past allresource, and driven to the long-projected remedy. 

A burthen has my existence been these two years, gay as I haveappeared; not a night have I gone to bed, but heated and inflamed froma gaming table; not a morning have I awaked, but to be soured with adun!

I would not lead such a life again, if the slave who works hardest atthe oar would change with me. 

Had I a son, I would bequeath him a plough; I should then leave himhappier than my parents left me. 

Idleness has been my destruction; the want of something to do led meinto all evil. 

A good wife perhaps might have saved me, --mine, I thank her! triednot. Disengaged from me and my affairs, her own pleasures andamusements have occupied her solely. Dreadful will be the catastropheshe will see to-night; let her bring it home, and live better!

If any pity is felt for me, it will be where I have least deserved it!Mr Arnott--Miss Beverley! it will come from you!

To bring myself to this final resolution, hard, I confess, have beenmy conflicts: it is not that I have feared death, no, I have longwished it, for shame and dread have embittered my days; but somethingthere is within me that causes a deeper horror, that asks mypreparation for another world! that demands my authority for quittingthis!--what may hereafter--O terrible!--Pray for me, generous MissBeverley!--kind, gentle Mr Arnott, pray for me!--

Wretch as Mr Harrel appeared, without religion, principle, or honour, this incoherent letter, evidently written in the desperate moment ofdetermined suicide, very much affected both Cecilia and Mr Arnott, andin spite either of abhorrence or resentment, they mutually shed tearsover the address to themselves. 

Delvile, to whom 'every part of the affair was new, could onlyconsider these papers as so many specimens of guilt and infamy; heread them, therefore, with astonishment and detestation, and openlycongratulated Cecilia upon having escaped the double snares that werespread for her. 

While this was passing, Mr Monckton arrived; who felt but littlesatisfaction from beholding the lady of his heart in confidentialdiscourse with two of his rivals, one of whom had long attacked her bythe dangerous flattery of perseverance, and the other, without anyattack, had an influence yet more powerful. 

Delvile, having performed the office for which he came, concluded, upon the entrance of Mr Monckton, that Cecilia had nothing further towish from him; for her long acquaintance with that gentleman, hisbeing a _married man_, and her neighbour in the country, werecircumstances well known to him: he merely, therefore, enquired if shewould honour him with any commands, and upon her assuring him she hadnone, he quietly withdrew. 

This was no little relief to Mr Monckton, into whose hands Ceciliathen put the fatal packet: and while he was reading it, at the desireof Mr Arnott, she went up stairs to prepare Mrs Harrel for hisadmission. 

Mrs Harrel, unused to solitude, and as eager for company when unhappyto console, as when easy to divert her, consented to receive him withpleasure: they both wept at the meeting, and Cecilia, after some wordsof general comfort, left them together. 

She had then a very long and circumstantial conversation with MrMonckton, who explained whatever had appeared dark in the writingsleft by Mr Harrel, and who came to her before he saw them, with fullknowledge of what they contained. 

Mr Harrel had contracted with Sir Robert Floyer a large debt of honourbefore the arrival in town of Cecilia; and having no power todischarge it, he promised that the prize he expected in his wardshould fall to his share, upon condition that the debt was cancelled. Nothing was thought more easy than to arrange this business, for theBaronet was always to be in her way, and the report of the intendedalliance was to keep off all other pretenders. Several times, however, her coldness made him think the matter hopeless; and when he receivedher letter, he would have given up the whole affair: but Mr Harrel, well knowing his inability to satisfy the claims that would followsuch a defection, constantly persuaded him the reserve was affected, and that his own pride and want of assiduity occasioned all herdiscouragement. 

But while thus, by amusing the Baronet with false hopes, he kept offhis demands, those of others were not less clamorous: his debtsincreased, his power of paying them diminished; he grew sour anddesperate, and in one night lost £3000 beyond what he could produce, or offer any security for. 

This, as he said, _was what he wished_; and now he was, for thepresent, to extricate himself by doubling stakes and winning, or toforce himself into suicide by doubling such a loss. For though, withtolerable ease, he could forget accounts innumerable with histradesmen, one neglected _debt of honour_ rendered his existenceinsupportable!

For this last great effort, his difficulty was to raise the £3000already due, without which the proposal could not be made: and, after various artifices and attempts, he at length contrived a meetingwith Mr Marriot, intreated him to lend him £2000 for only two days, and offered his warmest services in his favour with Cecilia. 

The rash and impassioned young man, deceived by his accounts intobelieving that his ward was wholly at his disposal, readily advancedthe money, without any other condition than that of leave to visitfreely at his house, to the exclusion of Sir Robert Floyer. "The other£1000, " continued Mr Monckton, "I know not how he obtained, but hecertainly had three. You, I hope, were not so unguarded--"

"Ah, Mr Monckton, " said Cecilia, "blame me not too severely! theattacks that were made, --the necessity of otherwise betraying theworthy and half ruined Mr. Arnott--"

"Oh fie, " cried he, "to suffer your understanding to be lulled asleep, because the weak-minded Mr Arnott's could not be kept awake! Ithought, after such cautions from me, and such experience of your own, you could not again have been thus duped. "

"I thought so too, " answered she, "but yet when the trial came on, --indeed you know not how I was persecuted. "

"Yet you see, " returned he, "the utter inutility of the attempt; yousee, and I told you beforehand, that nothing could save him. "

"True; but had I been firmer in refusal, I might not so well haveknown it; I might then have upbraided myself with supposing that mycompliance would have rescued him. "

"You have indeed, " cried Mr Monckton, "fallen into most worthlesshands, and the Dean was much to blame for naming so lightly a guardianto a fortune such as yours. "

"Pardon me, " cried Cecilia, "he never entrusted him with my fortune, he committed it wholly to Mr Briggs. "

"But if he knew not the various subterfuges by which such a cautionmight be baffled, he ought to have taken advice of those who werebetter informed. Mr Briggs, too! what a wretch! mean, low, vulgar, sordid!--the whole city of London, I believe, could not produce suchanother! how unaccountable to make you the ward of a man whose houseyou cannot enter without disgust!"

"His house, " cried Cecilia, "my uncle never wished me to enter; hebelieved, and he was right, that my fortune would be safe in hishands; but for myself, he concluded I should always reside at MrHarrel's. " "But does not the city at this time, " said Mr Monckton, "abound in families where, while your fortune was in security, youmight yourself have lived with propriety? Nothing requirescircumspection so minute as the choice of a guardian to a girl oflarge fortune, and in general one thing only is attended to, anappearance of property. Morals, integrity, character, are either notthought of, or investigated so superficially, that the enquiry were aswell wholly omitted. " He then continued his relation. 

Mr Harrel hastened with his £3000 to the gaming table; onethrow of the dice settled the business, he lost, and ought immediatelyto have doubled the sum. That, however, was never more likely to be inhis power; he knew it; he knew, too, the joint claims of Cecilia'sdeceived admirers, and that his house was again threatened withexecutions from various quarters:--he went home, loaded his pistols, and took the methods already related to work himself into courage forthe deed. 

The means by which Mr Monckton had procured these particulars weremany and various, and not all such as he could avow: since in thecourse of his researches, he had tampered with servants and waiters, and scrupled at no methods that led but to discovery. 

Nor did his intelligence stop here; he had often, he said, wondered atthe patience of Mr Harrel's creditors, but now even that was clearedup by a fresh proof of infamy: he had been himself at the house inPortmansquare, where he was informed that Mr Harrel had kept themquiet, by repeated assurances that his ward, in a short time, meant tolend him money for discharging them all. 

Cecilia saw now but too clearly the reason her stay in his house wasso important to him; and wondered less at his vehemence upon thatsubject, though she detested it more. 

"Oh how little, " cried she, "are the gay and the dissipated to beknown upon a short acquaintance! expensive, indeed, and thoughtlessand luxurious he appeared to me immediately; but fraudulent, base, designing, capable of every pernicious art of treachery andduplicity, --such, indeed, I expected not to find him, his veryflightiness and levity seemed incompatible with such hypocrisy. "

"His flightiness, " said Mr Monckton, "proceeded not from gaiety ofheart, it was merely the effect of effort; and his spirits were asmechanical as his taste for diversion. He had not strong parts, norwere his vices the result of his passions; had oeconomy been as muchin fashion as extravagance, he would have been equally eager topractice it; he was a mere time-server, he struggled but to be_something_, and having neither talents nor sentiment to know_what_, he looked around him for any pursuit, and seeing distinctionwas more easily attained in the road to ruin than in any other, hegallopped along it, thoughtless of being thrown when he came tothe bottom, and sufficiently gratified in shewing his horsemanshipby the way. "

And now, all that he had either to hear or to communicate upon thissubject being told, he enquired, with a face strongly expressive ofhis disapprobation, why he found her at Mr Delvile's, and what hadbecome of her resolution to avoid his house?

Cecilia, who, in the hurry of her mind and her affairs, had whollyforgotten that such a resolution had been taken, blushed at thequestion, and could not, at first, recollect what had urged her tobreak it: but when he proceeded to mention Mr Briggs, she was nolonger distressed; she gave a circumstantial account of her visit tohim, related the mean misery in which he lived, and told him theimpracticability of her residing in such a house. 

Mr Monckton could now in decency make no further opposition, howeverpainful and reluctant was his acquiescence: yet before he quitted her, he gave himself the consolation of considerably obliging her, andsoftened his chagrin by the sweetness of her acknowledgments. 

He enquired how much money in all she had now taken up of the Jew; andhearing it was £9050, he represented to her the additional loss shemust suffer by paying an exorbitant interest for so large a sum, andthe almost certainty with which she might be assured of very grossimposition: he expatiated, also, upon the injury which her charactermight receive in the world, were it known that she used such methodsto procure money, since the circumstances which had been herinducement would probably either be unnoticed or misrepresented: andwhen he had awakened in her much uneasiness and regret upon thissubject, he offered to pay the Jew without delay, clear her whollyfrom his power, and quietly receive the money when she came of agefrom herself. 

A proposal so truly friendly made her look upon the regard of MrMonckton in a higher and nobler point of view than her utmost esteemand reverence had hitherto placed it: yet she declined at firstaccepting the offer, from an apprehension it might occasion himinconvenience; but when he assured her he had a yet larger sum lyingat present useless in a Banker's hands, and promised to receive thesame interest for his money he should be paid from the funds, shejoyfully listened to him; and it was settled that they should send forthe Jew, take his discharge, and utterly dismiss him. 

Mr Monckton, however, fearful of appearing too officious in heraffairs, wished not to have his part in the transaction published, andadvised Cecilia not to reveal the matter to the Delviles. But great aswas his [ascendancy] over her mind, her aversion to mystery andhypocrisy were still greater; she would not, therefore, give him thispromise, though her own desire to wait some seasonable opportunity fordisclosing it, made her consent that their meeting with the Jew shouldbe at the house of Mrs Roberts in Fetter-lane, at twelve o'clock thenext morning; where she might also see Mrs Hill and her childrenbefore she left town. 

They now parted, Cecilia charmed more than ever with her friend, whosekindness, as she suspected not his motives, seemed to spring from themost disinterested generosity. 

That, however, was the smallest feature in the character of MrMonckton, who was entirely a man of the world, shrewd, penetrating, attentive to his interest, and watchful of every advantage to improveit. In the service he now did Cecilia, he was gratified by giving herpleasure, but that was by no means his only gratification; he stillhoped her fortune would one day be his own, he was glad to transactany business with her, and happy in making her owe to him anobligation: but his principal inducement was yet stronger: he saw withmuch alarm the facility of her liberality; and he feared while shecontinued in correspondence with the Jew, that the easiness with whichshe could raise money would be a motive with her to continue thepractice whenever she was softened by distress, or subdued byentreaty: but he hoped, by totally concluding the negociation, thetemptation would be removed: and that the hazard and inconvenience ofrenewing it, would strengthen her aversion to such an expedient, till, between difficulties and disuse, that dangerous resource would bethought of no more. 

Cecilia then returned to Mrs Harrel, whom she found as she had left, weeping in the arms of her brother. They consulted upon what was bestto be done, and agreed that she ought instantly to leave town; forwhich purpose a chaise was ordered directly. They settled also that MrArnott, when he had conveyed her to his country house, which was inSuffolk, should hasten back to superintend the funeral, and see ifanything could be saved from the creditors for his sister. 

Yet this plan, till Cecilia was summoned to dinner, they had not theresolution to put in practice. They were then obliged to be gone, andtheir parting was very melancholy. Mrs Harrel wept immoderately, andMr Arnott felt a concern too tender for avowal, though too sincere forconcealment. Cecilia, however glad to change her situation, wasextremely depressed by their sorrow, and entreated to have frequentaccounts of their proceedings, warmly repeating her offers of service, and protestations of faithful regard. 

She accompanied them to the chaise, and then went to the diningparlour, where she found Mr and Mrs Delvile, but saw nothing more oftheir son the whole day. 

The next morning after breakfast, Mrs Delvile set out upon some leave-taking visits, and Cecilia went in a chair to Fetter-lane: here, already waiting for her, she met the punctual Mr Monckton, and thedisappointed Jew, who most unwillingly was paid off, and relinquishedhis bonds; and who found in the severe and crafty Mr Monckton, anothersort of man to deal with than the necessitous and heedless Mr Harrel. 

As soon as he was dismissed, other bonds were drawn and signed, theold ones were destroyed; and Cecilia, to her infinite satisfaction, had no creditor but Mr Monckton. Her bookseller, indeed, was stillunpaid, but her debt with him was public, and gave her not anyuneasiness. 

She now, with the warmest expressions of gratitude, took leave of MrMonckton, who suffered the most painful struggles in repressing thevarious apprehensions to which the parting, and her establishment atthe Delviles gave rise. 

She then enquired briefly into the affairs of Mrs Hill, and havingheard a satisfactory account of them, returned to St James's-square. 

BOOK VI

CHAPTER i. 

A DEBATE. 

It was still early, and Mrs Delvile was not expected till late. Cecilia, therefore, determined to make a visit to Miss Belfield, towhom she had been denied during the late disorders at Mr Harrel's, andwhom she could not endure to mortify by quitting town without seeing, since whatever were her doubts about Delvile, of her she had none. 

To Portland-street, therefore, she ordered her chair, deliberating asshe went whether it were better to adhere to the reserve she hadhitherto maintained, or to satisfy her perplexity at once by aninvestigation into the truth. And still were these scruples undecided, when, looking in at the windows as she passed them to the door of thehouse, she perceived Miss Belfield standing in the parlour with aletter in her hand, which she was fervently pressing to her lips. 

Struck by this sight, a thousand painful conjectures occurred to her, all representing that the letter was from Delvile, and all explainingto his dishonour the mystery of his late conduct. And far were hersuspicions from diminishing, when, upon being shown into the parlour, Miss Belfield, trembling with her eagerness to hide it, hastily forcedthe letter into her pocket. 

Cecilia, surprised, dismayed, alarmed, stopt involuntarily at thedoor; but Miss Belfield, having secured what was so evidently preciousto her, advanced, though not without blushing, and taking her hand, said "How good this is of you, madam, to come to me! when I did notknow where to find you, and when I was almost afraid I should havefound you no more!"

She then told her, that the first news she had heard the precedingmorning, was the violent death of Mr Harrel, which had been related toher, with all its circumstances, by the landlord of their lodgings, who was himself one of his principal creditors, and had immediatelybeen at Portman-square to put in his claims: where he had learnt thatall the family had quitted the house, which was entirely occupied bybailiffs. "And I was so sorry, " she continued, "that you should meetwith any hardships, and not know where to go, and have another home toseek, when I am sure the commonest beggar would never want anhabitation, if you had one in your power to give him!--But how sad andmelancholy you look! I am afraid this bad action of Mr Harrel has madeyou quite unhappy? Ah madam! you are too good for this guilty world!your own compassion and benevolence will not suffer you to rest init!"

Cecilia, touched by this tender mistake of her present uneasiness, embraced her, and with much kindness, answered, "No, sweet Henrietta!it is _you_ who are good, who are innocent, who are guileless!--_you_, too, I hope are happy!"

"And are not you, madam?" cried Henrietta, fondly returning hercaress. "Oh if you are not, who will ever deserve to be! I think Ishould rather be unhappy myself, than see you so; at least I am sure Iought, for the whole world may be the better for your welfare, and asto me, --who would care what became of me!"

"Ah Henrietta!" cried Cecilia, "do you speak sincerely? do you indeedthink yourself so little valued?"

"Why I don't say, " answered she, "but that I hope there are some whothink a little kindly of me, for if I had not that hope, I should wishto break my heart and die! but what is that to the love and reverenceso many have for you?"

"Suppose, " said Cecilia, with a forced smile, "I should put your loveand reverence to the proof? do you think they would stand it?"

"O yes, indeed I do! and I have wished a thousand and a thousand timesthat I could but shew you my affection, and let you see that I did notlove you because you were a great lady, and high in the world, andfull of power to do me service, but because you were so good and sokind, so gentle to the unfortunate, and so sweet to every body!"

"Hold, hold, " cried Cecilia, "and let me try if indeed, fairly andtruly, you will answer what I mean to ask. "

"O yes, " cried she warmly, "if it is the dearest secret I have in theworld! there is nothing I will not tell you; I will open my wholeheart to you, and I shall be proud to think you will let me trust you, for I am sure if you did not care a little for me, you would not takesuch a trouble. "

"You are indeed a sweet creature!" said Cecilia, hesitating whether ornot to take advantage of her frankness, "and every time I see you, Ilove you better. For the world would I not injure you, --and perhapsyour confidence--I know not, indeed, if it is fair or right to exactit--" she stopt, extremely perplext, and while Henrietta waited herfurther enquiries, they were interrupted by the entrance of MrsBelfield. 

"Sure, Child, " cried she, to her daughter, "you might have let me knowbefore now who was here, when you knew so well how much I wished anopportunity to see the young lady myself: but here you come down uponpretence to see your brother, and then stay away all the morning, doing nobody knows what. " Then, turning to Cecilia, "Ma'am, " shecontinued, "I have been in the greatest concern in the world for thelittle accident that happened when I saw you before; for to be sure Ithought, and indeed nobody will persuade me to the contrary, that itwas rather an odd thing for such a young lady as you to come so oftenafter Henny, without so much as thinking of any other reason;especially when, to be sure, there's no more comparison between herand my son, than between anything in the world; however, if it is so, it is so, and I mean to say no more about it, and to be sure he's ascontented to think so as if he was as mere an insignificant animal ascould be. "

"This matter, madam, " said Cecilia, "has so long been settled, that Iam sorry you should trouble yourself to think of it again. "

"O, ma'am, I only mention it by the way of making the proper apology, for as to taking any other notice of it, I have quite left it off;though to be sure what I think I think; but as to my son, he has sogot the upper hand of me, that it all goes for nothing, and I mightjust as well sing to him. Not that I mean to find fault with himneither; so pray, ma'am, don't let what I say be to his prejudice, forI believe all the time, there's nobody like him, neither at this endof the town nor the other; for as to the other, he has more the lookof a lord, by half, than of a shopman, and the reason's plain, forthat's the sort of company he's always kept, as I daresay a lady suchas you must have seen long ago. But for all that, there's some littlematters that we mothers fancy we can see into as well as our children;however, if they don't think so, why it answers no purpose to dispute;for as to a better son, to be sure there never was one, and that, as Ialways say, is the best sign I know for making a good husband. "

During this discourse, Henrietta was in the utmost confusion, dreadinglest the grossness of her mother should again send off Cecilia inanger: but Cecilia, who perceived her uneasiness, and who was morecharmed with her character than ever, from the simplicity of hersincerity, determined to save her that pain, by quietly hearing herharangue, and then quietly departing: though she was much provoked tofind from the complaining hints every instant thrown out, that MrsBelfield was still internally convinced her son's obstinatebashfulness was the only obstacle to his chusing whom he pleased: andthat though she no longer dared speak her opinion with openness, shewas fully persuaded Cecilia was at his service. 

"And for that reason, " continued Mrs Belfield, "to be sure any ladythat knew her own true advantage, could do nothing better than to takethe recommendation of a mother, who must naturally know more of herown children's disposition than can be expected from a stranger: andas to such a son as mine, perhaps there a'n't two such in the world, for he's had a gentleman's education, and turn him which way he will, he'll see never a handsomer person than his own; though, poor dearlove, he was always of the thinnest. But the misfortunes he's had tostruggle with would make nobody fatter. "

Here she was interrupted, and Cecilia not a little surprised, by theentrance of Mr Hobson and Mr Simkins. 

"Ladies, " cried Mr Hobson, whom she soon found was Mrs Belfield'slandlord: "I would not go up stairs without just stopping to let youknow a little how the world goes. "

Then perceiving and recollecting Cecilia, he exclaimed "I am proud tosee you again, ma'am, --Miss, I believe I should say, for I take it youare too young a lady to be entered into matrimony yet. "

"Matrimony?" cried Mr Simkins, "no, to be sure, Mr Hobson, how can yoube so out of the way? the young lady looks more like to a Miss from aboarding-school, if I might take the liberty for to say so. "

"Ay, more's the pity, " cried Mrs Belfield, "for as to young ladieswaiting and waiting, I don't see the great good of it; especially if aproper match offers; for as to a good husband, I think no lady shouldbe above accepting him, if he's modest and well-behaved, and has beenbrought up with a genteel education. "

"Why as to that, ma'am, " said Mr Simkins, "it's another guess matter, for as to the lady's having a proper spouse, if I may be so free, Ithink as it's no bad thing. "

Cecilia now, taking Henrietta's hand, was wishing her good morning;but hearing Mr Hobson say he was just come from Portman-square, hercuriosity was excited, and she stayed a little longer. 

"Sad work, ma'am, " said he; "who'd have thought Mr Harrel asked us allto supper for the mere purpose of such a thing as that! just to servefor a blind, as one may say. But when a man's conscience is foul, whatI say is it's ten to one but he makes away with himself. Let every mankeep clear of the world, that's my notion, and then he will be in nosuch hurry to get out of it. "

"Why indeed, ma'am, " said Mr Simkins, advancing with many bows toCecilia, "humbly craving pardon for the liberty, I can't pretend forto say I think Mr Harrel did quite the honourable thing by us; for asto his making us drink all that champagne, and the like, it was asheer take in, so that if I was to speak my mind, I can't say as Iesteem it much of a favour. "

"Well, " said Mrs Belfield, "nothing's to me so surprising as aperson's being his own executioner, for as to me, if I was to die forit fifty times, I don't think I could do it. "

"So here, " resumed Mr Hobson, "we're all defrauded of our dues!nobody's able to get his own, let him have worked for it ever so hard. Sad doings in the square, Miss! all at sixes and sevens; for my part Icame off from Vauxhall as soon as the thing had happened, hoping toget the start of the others, or else I should have been proud to waitupon you, ladies, with the particulars: but a man of business neverstands upon ceremony, for when money's at stake, that's out of thequestion. However, I was too late, for the house was seized beforeever I could get nigh it. "

"I hope, ma'am, if I may be so free, " said Mr Simkins, againprofoundly bowing, "that you and the other lady did not take it muchamiss my not coming back to you, for it was not out of no disrespect, but only I got so squeezed in by the ladies and gentlemen that waslooking on, that I could not make my, way out, do what I could. But bywhat I see, I must needs say if one's never in such genteel company, people are always rather of the rudest when one's in a crowd, for ifone begs and prays never so, there's no making 'em conformable. "

"Pray, " said Cecilia, "is it likely any thing will remain for MrsHarrel?"

"Remain, ma'am?" repeated Mr Hobson, "Yes, a matter of a hundred billswithout a receipt to 'em! To be sure, ma'am, I don't want to affrontyou, that was his intimate acquaintance, more especially as you'vedone nothing disrespectful by me, which is more than I can say for MrsHarrel, who seemed downright ashamed of me, and of Mr Simkins too, though all things considered, it would have been as well for her notto have been quite so high. But of that in its proper season!"

"Fie, Mr Hobson fie, " cried the supple Mr Simkins, "how can you be sohard? for my share, I must needs own I think the poor lady's to bepitied; for it must have been but a melancholy sight to her, to seeher spouse cut off so in the flower of his youth, as one may say: andyou ought to scorn to take exceptions at a lady's proudness when she'sin so much trouble. To be sure, I can't say myself as she was over-complaisant to make us welcome; but I hope I am above being sounpitiful as for to owe her a grudge for it now she's so down in themouth. "

"Let everybody be civil!" cried Mr Hobson, "that's my notion; and thenI shall be as much above being unpitiful as anybody else. "

"Mrs Harrel, " said Cecilia, "was then too unhappy, and is now, surely, too unfortunate, to make it possible any resentment should beharboured against her. "

"You speak, ma'am, like a lady of sense, " returned Mr Hobson, "and, indeed, that's the character I hear of you; but for all that, ma'am, every body's willing to stand up for their own friends, for whichreason, ma'am, to be sure you'll be making the best of it, both forthe Relict, and the late gentleman himself; but, ma'am, if I was tomake bold to speak my mind in a fair manner, what I should say wouldbe this: a man here to go shooting himself with all his debts unpaid, is a mere piece of scandal, ma'am! I beg pardon, but what I say is, the truth's the truth, and I can't call it by no other nomination. "

Cecilia now, finding she had not any chance of pacifying him, rang forher servant and chair. 

Mr Simkins then, affecting to lower his voice, said reproachfully tohis friend "Indeed, Mr Hobson, to speak ingenusly, I must needs say Idon't think it over and above pelite in you to be so hard upon theyoung lady's acquaintance that was, now he's defunct. To be sure Ican't pretend for to deny but he behaved rather comical; for notpaying of nobody, nor so much as making one a little compliment, orthe like, though he made no bones of taking all one's goods, andalways chused to have the prime of every thing, why it's what I can'tpretend to stand up for. But that's neither here nor there, for if hehad behaved as bad again, poor Miss could not tell how to help it; andI dares to say she had no more hand in it than nobody at all. "

"No, to be sure, " cried Mrs Belfield, "what should she have to do withit? Do you suppose a young lady of her fortune would want to takeadvantage of a person in trade? I am sure it would be both a shame anda sin if she did, for if she has not money enough, I wonder who has. And for my part, I think when a young lady has such a fine fortune asthat, the only thing she has to do, is to be thinking of making a gooduse of it, by dividing it, as one may say, with a good husband. For asto keeping it all for herself, I dare say she's a lady of too muchgenerosity; and as to only marrying somebody that's got as much of hisown, why it is not half so much a favour: and if the young lady wouldtake my advice, she'd marry for love, for as to lucre, she's enough inall conscience. "

"As to all that, " said Mr Hobson, "it makes no alteration in myargument; I am speaking to the purpose, and not for the matter ofcomplaisance: and therefore I'm bold to say Mr Harrel's action hadnothing of the gentleman in it. A man has a right to his own life, you'll tell me; but what of that? that's no argument at all, for itdoes not give him a bit the more right to my property; and a man'srunning in debt, and spending other people's substances, for no reasonin the world but just because he can blow out his own brains when he'sdone, --though it's a thing neither lawful nor religious to do, --whyit's acting quite out of character, and a great hardship to trade intothe bargain. "

"I heartily wish it had been otherwise, " said Cecilia; "but I stillhope, if any thing can be done for Mrs Harrel, you will not object tosuch a proposal. "

"Ma'am, as I said before, " returned Mr Hobson, "I see you're a lady ofsense, and for that I honour you: but as to any thing being done, it'swhat I call a distinct thing. What's mine is mine, and what's anotherman's is his; that's my way of arguing; but then if he takes what'smine, where's the law to hinder my taking what's his? This is what Icall talking to the purpose. Now as to a man's cutting his throat, orthe like of that, for blowing out his own brains may be called theself-same thing, what are his creditors the better for that? nothingat all, but so much the worse it's a false notion to respect it, forthere's no respect in it; it's contrary to law, and a prejudiceagainst religion. "

"I agree entirely in your opinion, " said Cecilia, "but still MrsHarrel"--

"I know your argument, ma'am, " interrupted Mr Hobson; "Mrs Harreli'n't the worse for her husband's being shot through the head, becauseshe was no accessory to the same, and for that reason, it's a hardshipshe should lose all her substance; this, ma'am, is what I say, speaking to your side of the argument. But now, ma'am, please to takenotice what I argue upon the reply; what have we creditors to do witha man's family? Suppose I am a cabinet-maker? When I send in mychairs, do I ask who is to sit upon them? No; it's all one to mewhether it's the gentleman's progeny or his friends, I must be paidfor the chairs the same, use them who may. That's the law, ma'am, andno man need be ashamed to abide by it. "

The truth of this speech palliating its sententious absurdity, madeCecilia give up her faint attempt to soften him; and her chair beingready, she arose to take leave. 

"Lack-a-day, ma'am, " cried Mrs Belfield, "I hope you won't go yet, forI expect my son home soon, and I've a heap of things to talk to youabout besides, only Mr Hobson having so much to say stopt my mouth. But I should take it as a great favour, ma'am, if you would come someafternoon and drink a dish of tea with me, for then we should havetime to say all our say. And I'm sure, ma'am, if you would only letone of your footmen just take a run to let me know when you'd come, myson would be very proud to give you the meeting; and the servantscan't have much else to do at your house, for where there's such aheap of 'em, they commonly think of nothing all day long but standingand gaping at one another. "

"I am going out of town to-morrow, " said Cecilia, "and thereforecannot have the pleasure of calling upon Miss Belfield again. "

She then slightly courtsied, and left the room. 

The gentle Henrietta, her eyes swimming in tears, followed her to herchair; but she followed her not alone, Mrs Belfield also attended, repining very loudly at the unlucky absence of her son: and thecringing Mr Simkins, creeping after her and bowing, said in a lowvoice, "I humbly crave pardon, ma'am, for the liberty, but I hope youwon't think as I have any share in Mr Hobson's behaving so rude, for Imust needs say, I don't think it over genteel in no shape. " And MrHobson himself, bent upon having one more sentence heard, called out, even after she was seated in her chair, "All I say, ma'am, is this:let every man be honest; that's what I argue, and that's my notion ofthings. "

Cecilia still reached home before Mrs Delvile; but most uneasy wereher sensations, and most unquiet was her heart: the letter she hadseen in the hands of Henrietta seemed to corroborate all her formersuspicions, since if it came not from one infinitely dear to her shewould not have shewn such fondness for it, and if that one was notdear to her in secret, she would not have concealed it. 

Where then was the hope that any but Delvile could have written it? in_secret_ she could not cherish _two_, and that Delvile was cherishedmost fondly, the artlessness of her character unfitted her for disguising. 

And why should he write to her? what was his pretence? That he lovedher she could now less than ever believe, since his late conduct toherself, though perplexing and inconsistent, evinced at least apartiality incompatible with a passion for another. What then, couldshe infer, but that he had seduced her affections, and ruined herpeace, for the idle and cruel gratification of temporary vanity?

"And if such, " cried she, "is the depravity of this accomplishedhypocrite, if such is the littleness of soul that a manner so nobledisguises, shall he next, urged, perhaps, rather by prudence thanpreference, make _me_ the object of his pursuit, and the food ofhis vain-glory? And shall _I_, warned and instructed as I am, beas easy a prey and as wretched a dupe? No, I will be better satisfiedwith his conduct, before I venture to trust him, and since I am richerthan Henrietta and less likely to be deserted, when won, I will bemore on my guard to know why I am addressed, and vindicate the rightsof innocence, if I find she has been thus deluded, by forgetting histalents in his treachery, and renouncing him for ever!"

Such were the reflections and surmises that dampt all the long-soughtpleasure of her change of residence, and made her habitation in StJames's-square no happier than it had been at Mr Harrel's!

She dined again with only Mr and Mrs Delvile, and did not see theirson all day; which, in her present uncertainty what to think of him, was an absence she scarcely regretted. 

When the servants retired, Mr Delvile told her that he had thatmorning received two visits upon her account, both from admirers, whoeach pretended to having had leave to wait upon her from Mr Harrel. 

He then named Sir Robert Floyer and Mr Marriot. 

"I believe, indeed, " said Cecilia, "that neither of them were treatedperfectly well; to me, however, their own behaviour has by no meansbeen strictly honourable. I have always, when referred to, been veryexplicit; and what other methods they were pleased to take, I cannotwonder should fail. "

"I told them, " said Mr Delvile, "that, since you were now under myroof, I could not refuse to receive their proposals, especially asthere would be no impropriety in your alliance with either of them butI told them, at the same time, that I could by no means think ofpressing their suit, as that was an office which, however well itmight do for Mr Harrel, would be totally improper and unbecoming forme. "

"Certainly;" said Cecilia, "and permit me, Sir, to entreat that, should they again apply to you, they may be wholly discouraged fromrepeating their visits, and assured that far from having trifled withthem hitherto, the resolutions. I have declared will never be varied. "

"I am happy, " said Mrs Delvile, "to see so much spirit and discernmentwhere arts of all sorts will be practised to ensnare and delude. Fortune and independence were never so securely lodged as in MissBeverley, and I doubt not but her choice, whenever it is decided, willreflect as much honour upon her heart, as her difficulty in making itdoes upon her understanding. "

Mr Delvile then enquired whether she had fixed upon any person tochoose as a guardian in the place of Mr Harrel. No, she said, norshould she, unless it were absolutely necessary. 

"I believe, indeed, " said Mrs Delvile, "your affairs will not muchmiss him! Since I have heard of the excess of his extravagance, I haveextremely rejoiced in the uncommon prudence and sagacity of his fairward, who, in such dangerous hands, with less penetration and soundsense, might have been drawn into a thousand difficulties, and perhapsdefrauded of half her fortune. "

Cecilia received but little joy from this most unseasonablecompliment, which, with many of the same sort that were frequently, though accidentally made, intimidated her from the confession she hadplanned and finding nothing but censure was likely to follow thediscovery, she at length determined to give it up wholly, unless anyconnection should take place which might render necessary its avowal. Yet something she could not but murmur, that an action so detrimentalto her own interest, and which, at the time, appeared indispensable toher benevolence, should now be considered as a mark of such folly andimprudence that she did not dare own it. 

CHAPTER ii. 

A RAILING. 

The next morning the family purposed setting off as soon as breakfastwas over: young Delvile, however, waited not so long; the fineness ofthe weather tempted him, he said, to travel on horse-back, andtherefore he had risen very early, and was already gone. Cecilia couldnot but wonder, yet did not repine. 

Just as breakfast was over, and Mr and Mrs Delvile and Cecilia werepreparing to depart, to their no little surprise, the door was opened, and, out of breath with haste and with heat, in stumpt Mr Briggs!"So, " cried he to Cecilia, "what's all this? hay?--where are yougoing?--a coach at the door! horses to every wheel! Servants fine aslords! what's in the wind now? think to chouse me out of mybelongings?"

"I thought, Sir, " said Cecilia, who instantly understood him, thoughMr and Mrs Delvile stared at him in utter astonishment, "I hadexplained before I left you that I should not return. "

"Didn't, didn't!" answered he, angrily; "waited for you three days, dressed a breast o' mutton o' purpose; got in a lobster, and twocrabs; all spoilt by keeping; stink already; weather quite muggy, forced to souse 'em in vinegar; one expense brings on another; neverbegin the like agen. "

"I am very sorry, indeed, " said Cecilia, much disconcerted, "if therehas been any mistake through my neglect; but I had hoped I wasunderstood, and I have been so much occupied--"

"Ay, ay, " interrupted he, "fine work! rare doings! a merryVauxhalling, with pistols at all your noddles! thought as much!thought he'd tip the perch; saw he wasn't stanch; knew he'd go by hiscompany, --a set of jackanapes! all blacklegs! nobody warm among 'em:fellows with a month's good living upon their backs, and not sixpencefor the hangman in their pockets!"

Mrs Delvile now, with a look of arch congratulation at Cecilia as theobject of this agreeable visit, finding it not likely to beimmediately concluded, returned to her chair: but Mr Delvile, leaningsternly upon his cane, moved not from the spot where he stood at hisentrance, but surveyed him from head to foot, with the most astonishedcontempt at his undaunted vulgarity. 

"Well I'd all your cash myself; seized that, else!--run out theconstable for you, next, and made you blow out your brains forcompany. Mind what I say, never give your mind to a gold lace hat!many a one wears it don't know five farthings from twopence. A goodman always wears a bob wig; make that your rule. Ever see MasterHarrel wear such a thing? No, I'll warrant! better if he had; kept hishead on his own shoulders. And now, pray, how does he cut up? what hashe left behind him? a _twey_-case, I suppose, and a bit of a hatwon't go on a man's head!"

Cecilia, perceiving, with great confusion, that Mr Delvile, thoughevidently provoked by this intrusion, would not deign to speak, thatMr Briggs might be regarded as belonging wholly to herself, hastilysaid "I will not, Sir, as your time is precious, detain you here, but, as soon as it is in my power, I will wait upon you in the city. "

Mr Briggs, however, without listening to her, thought proper tocontinue his harangue. 

"Invited me once to his house; sent me a card, half of it printed likea book! t'other half a scrawl could not read; pretended to give asupper; all a mere bam; went without my dinner, and got nothing toeat; all glass and shew: victuals painted all manner of colours;lighted up like a pastry-cook on twelfth-day; wanted something solid, and got a great lump of sweetmeat; found it as cold as a stone, allfroze in my mouth like ice; made me jump again, and brought the tearsin my eyes; forced to spit it out; believe it was nothing but a snowball, just set up for show, and covered over with a little sugar. Pretty wayto spend money! Stuffing, and piping, and hopping! never could resttill every farthing was gone; nothing left but his own fool's pate, andeven that he could not hold together. "

"At present, Sir, " said Cecilia, "we are all going out of town; thecarriage is waiting at the door, and therefore--"

"No such thing, " cried he; "Sha'n't go; come for you myself; take youto my own house. Got every thing ready, been to the broker's, bought anice blanket, hardly a brack in it. Pick up a table soon; one in myeye. "

"I am sorry you have so totally mistaken me, Sir; for I am now goinginto the country with Mr and Mrs Delvile. "

"Won't consent, won't consent! what will you go there for? hear ofnothing but dead dukes; as well visit an old tomb. "

Here Mr Delvile, who felt himself insulted in a manner he could leastsupport, after looking at him very disdainfully, turned to Cecilia, and said "Miss Beverley, if this person wishes for a longer conferencewith you, I am sorry you did not appoint a more seasonable hour foryour interview. " "Ay, ay, " cried the impenetrable Mr Briggs; "want tohurry her off! see that! But 't won't do; a'n't to be nicked; chuse tocome in for my thirds; won't be gulled, sha'n't have more than yourshare. "

"Sir!" cried Mr Delvile, with a look meant to be nothing less thanpetrific. 

"What!" cried he, with an arch leer; "all above it, hay? warrant yourSpanish Don never thinks of such a thing! don't believe 'em my duck!great cry and little wool; no more of the ready than other folks; merepuff and go one. "

"This is language, Sir, " said Mr Delvile, "so utterlyincomprehensible, that I presume you do not even intend it should beunderstood: otherwise, I should very little scruple to inform you, that no man of the name of Delvile brooks the smallest insinuation ofdishonour. "

"Don't he?" returned Mr Briggs, with a grin; "why how will he help it?will the old grandees jump up out of their graves to frighten us?"

"What old grandees, Sir? to whom are you pleased to allude?"

"Why all them old grandfathers and aunts you brag of; a set of poorsouls you won't let rest in their coffins; mere clay and dirt! finethings to be proud of! a parcel of old mouldy rubbish quite departedthis life! raking up bones and dust, nobody knows for what! ought tobe ashamed; who cares for dead carcases? nothing but [carrion]. Mylittle Tom's worth forty of 'em!"

"I can so ill make out, Miss Beverley, " said the astonished MrDelvile, "what this person is pleased to dive at, that I cannotpretend to enter into any sort of conversation with him; you willtherefore be so good as to let me know when he has finished hisdiscourse, and you are at leisure to set off. "

And then, with a very stately air, he was quitting the room; but wassoon stopt, upon Mr Briggs calling out "Ay, ay, Don Duke, poke in theold charnel houses by yourself, none of your defunct for me! didn'tcare if they were all hung in a string. Who's the better for 'em?'

"Pray, Sir, " cried Mr Delvile, turning round, "to whom were youpleased to address that speech?"

"To one Don Puffendorff, " replied Mr Briggs; "know ever such a person, hay?"

"Don who? Sir!" said Mr Delvile, stalking nearer to him, "I musttrouble you to say that name over again. "

"Suppose don't chuse it? how then?"

"I am to blame, " said Mr Delvile, scornfully waving his hand with arepulsive motion, "to suffer myself to be irritated so unworthily; andI am sorry, in my own house, to be compelled to hint that the sooner Ihave it to myself, the better I shall be contented with it. "

"Ay, ay, want to get me off; want to have her to yourself! won't be sosoon choused; who's the better man? hay? which do you think iswarmest? and all got by myself; obliged to never a grandee for apenny; what do you say to that? will you cast an account with me?"

"Very extraordinary this!" cried Mr Delvile; "the most extraordinarycircumstance of the kind I ever met with! a person to enter my housein order to talk in this incomprehensible manner! a person, too, Ihardly know by sight!"

"Never mind, old Don, " cried Briggs, with a facetious nod, "Know mebetter another time!"

"Old who, Sir!--what!"

"Come to a fair reckoning, " continued Mr Briggs; "suppose you were inmy case, and had never a farthing but of your own getting; where wouldyou be then? What would become of your fine coach and horses? youmight stump your feet off before you'd ever get into one. Where wouldbe all this fine crockery work for your breakfast? you might pop yourhead under a pump, or drink out of your own paw; what would you do forthat fine jemmy tye? Where would you get a gold head to your stick?--You might dig long enough in them cold vaults before any of your oldgrandfathers would pop out to give you one. "

Mr Delvile, feeling more enraged than he thought suited his dignity, restrained himself from making any further answer, but going up to thebell, rang it with great violence. 

"And as to ringing a bell, " continued Mr Briggs, "you'd never knowwhat it was in your life, unless could make interest to be a dust-man. "

"A dust-man!"--repeated Mr Delvile, unable to command his silencelonger, "I protest"--and biting his lips, he stopt short. 

"Ay, love it, don't you? suits your taste; why not one dust as well asanother? Dust in a cart good as dust of a charnel-house; don't smellhalf so bad. "

A servant now entering, Mr Delvile called out "Is everything ready?"

"Yes, Sir. "

He then begged Mrs Delvile to go into the coach, and telling Ceciliato follow when at leisure, left the room. 

"I will come immediately, Sir, " said Cecilia; "Mr Briggs, I am sorryto leave you, and much concerned you have had this trouble; but I candetain Mr Delvile no longer. "

And then away she ran, notwithstanding he repeatedly charged her tostay. He followed them, however, to the coach, with bitter revilingsthat every body was to make more of his ward than himself, and withthe most virulent complaints of his losses from the blanket, thebreast of mutton, the crabs and the lobster!

Nothing, however, more was said to him; Cecilia, as if she had notheard him, only bowed her head, and the coach driving off, they soonlost sight of him. 

This incident by no means rendered the journey pleasant, or Mr Delvilegracious: his own dignity, that constant object of his thoughts andhis cares, had received a wound from this attack which he had not thesense to despise; and the vulgarity and impudence of Mr Briggs, whichought to have made his familiarity and boldness equally contemptibleand ridiculous, served only with a man whose pride out-ran hisunderstanding, to render them doubly mortifying and stinging. He couldtalk, therefore, of nothing the whole way that they went, but theextreme impropriety of which the Dean of had been guilty, in exposinghim to scenes and situations so much beneath his rank, by leaguing himwith a person so coarse and disgraceful. 

They slept one night upon the road, and arrived the next day atDelvile Castle. 

CHAPTER iii. 

AN ANTIQUE MANSION. 

Delvile Castle was situated in a large and woody park, and surroundedby a moat. A drawbridge which fronted the entrance was every night, byorder of Mr Delvile, with the same care as if still necessary for thepreservation of the family, regularly drawn up. Some fortificationsstill remained entire, and vestiges were every where to be traced ofmore; no taste was shown in the disposition of the grounds, noopenings were contrived through the wood for distant views orbeautiful objects: the mansion-house was ancient, large andmagnificent, but constructed with as little attention to convenienceand comfort, as to airiness and elegance; it was dark, heavy andmonastic, equally in want of repair and of improvement. The grandeurof its former inhabitants was every where visible, but the decay intowhich it was falling rendered such remains mere objects for meditationand melancholy; while the evident struggle to support some appearanceof its ancient dignity, made the dwelling and all in its vicinity wearan aspect of constraint and austerity. Festivity, joy and pleasure, seemed foreign to the purposes of its construction; silence, solemnityand contemplation were adapted to it only. 

Mrs Delvile, however, took all possible care to make the apartmentsand situation of Cecilia commodious and pleasant, and to banish by herkindness and animation the gloom and formality which her mansioninspired. Nor were her efforts ungratefully received; Cecilia, charmedby every mark of attention from a woman she so highly admired, returned her solicitude by encreasing affection, and repaid all hercare by the revival of her spirits. She was happy, indeed, to havequitted the disorderly house of Mr Harrel, where terror, socontinually awakened, was only to be lulled by the grossestimposition; and though her mind, depressed by what was passed, and insuspence with what was to come, was by no means in a state foruninterrupted enjoyment, yet to find herself placed, at last, withouteffort or impropriety, in the very mansion she had so long consideredas her road to happiness, rendered her, notwithstanding her remainingsources of inquietude, more contented than she had yet felt herselfsince her departure from Suffolk. 

Even the imperious Mr Delvile was more supportable here than inLondon: secure in his own castle, he looked around him with a pride ofpower and of possession which softened while it swelled him. Hissuperiority was undisputed, his will was without controul. He was not, as in the great capital of the kingdom, surrounded by competitors; norivalry disturbed his peace, no equality mortified his greatness; allhe saw were either vassals of his power, or guests bending to hispleasure; he abated therefore, considerably, the stern gloom of hishaughtiness, and soothed his proud mind by the courtesy ofcondescension. 

Little, however, was the opportunity Cecilia found, for evincing thatspirit and forbearance she had planned in relation to Delvile; hebreakfasted by himself every morning, rode or walked out alone tilldriven home by the heat of the day, and spent the rest of his timetill dinner in his own study. When he then appeared, his conversationwas always general, and his attention not more engaged by Cecilia thanby his mother. Left by them with his father, sometimes he appearedagain at tea-time, but more commonly he rode or strolled out to someneighbouring family, and it was always uncertain whether he was againseen before dinner the next day. 

By this conduct, reserve on her part was rendered totally unnecessary;she could give no discouragement where she met with no assiduity; shehad no occasion to fly where she was never pursued. 

Strange, however, she thought such behaviour, and utterly impossibleto be the effect of accident; his desire to avoid her seemedscrupulous and pointed, and however to the world it might wear theappearance of chance, to her watchful anxiety a thousand circumstancesmarked it for design. She found that his friends at home had neverseen so little of him, complaints were continually made of hisfrequent absences, and much surprise was expressed at his new mannerof life, and what might be the occupations which so strangelyengrossed his time. 

Had her heart not interfered in this matter, she might now have beenperfectly at rest, since she was spared the renunciation she hadprojected, and since, without either mental exertion or personaltrouble, the affair seemed totally dropt, and Delvile, far frommanifesting any design of conquest, shunned all occasions ofgallantry, and sedulously avoided even common conversation with her. If he saw her preparing to walk out in an evening, he was certain tostay at home; if his mother was with her, and invited him to jointhem, he was sure to be ready with some other engagement; and if byaccident he met her in the park, he merely stopt to speak of theweather, bowed, and hurried on. 

How to reconcile a coldness so extraordinary with a fervour soanimated as that which he had lately shewn, was indeed not easy;sometimes she fancied he had entangled not only the poor Henrietta buthimself, at other times she believed him merely capricious; but thathe studied to avoid her she was convinced invariably, and such aconviction was alone sufficient to determine her upon forwarding hispurpose. And, when her first surprise was over, and first chagrinabated, her own pride came to her aid, and she resolved to use everymethod in her power to conquer a partiality so un gratefully bestowed. She rejoiced that in no instance she had ever betrayed it, and she sawthat his own behaviour prevented all suspicion of it in the family. Yet, in the midst of her mortification and displeasure, she found someconsolation in seeing that those mercenary views of which she had oncebeen led to accuse him, were farthest from his thoughts, and thatwhatever was the state of his mind, she had no artifice to apprehend, nor design to guard against. All therefore that remained was toimitate his example, be civil and formal, shun all interviews thatwere not public, and decline all discourse but what good breedingoccasionally made necessary. 

By these means their meetings became more rare than ever, and ofshorter duration, for if one by any accident was detained, the otherretired; till, by their mutual diligence, they soon only saw eachother at dinner: and though neither of them knew the motives or theintentions of the other, the best concerted agreement could not moreeffectually have separated them. 

This task to Cecilia was at first extremely painful; but time andconstancy of mind soon lessened its difficulty. She amused herselfwith walking and reading, she commissioned Mr Monckton to send her aPiano Forte of Merlin's, she was fond of fine work, and she found inthe conversation of Mrs Delvile a never-failing resource againstlanguor and sadness. Leaving therefore to himself her mysterious son, she wisely resolved to find other employment for her thoughts, thanconjectures with which she could not be satisfied, and doubts thatmight never be explained. 

Very few families visited at the castle, and fewer still had theirvisits returned. The arrogance of Mr Delvile had offended all theneighbouring gentry, who could easily be better entertained than byreceiving instructions of their own inferiority, which however readilythey might allow, was by no means so pleasant a subject as torecompense them for hearing no other. And if Mr Delvile was shunnedthrough hatred, his lady no less was avoided through fear; high-spirited and fastidious, she was easily wearied and disgusted, shebore neither with frailty nor folly--those two principal ingredientsin human nature! She required, to obtain her favour, the union ofvirtue and abilities with elegance, which meeting but rarely, she wasrarely disposed to be pleased; and disdaining to conceal eithercontempt or aversion, she inspired in return nothing but dread orresentment; making thus, by a want of that lenity which is the _milkof human kindness_, and the bond of society, enemies the mostnumerous and illiberal by those very talents which, more _meeklyborne_, would have rendered her not merely admired, but adored!

In proportion, however, as she was thus at war with the world ingeneral, the chosen few who were honoured with her favour, she lovedwith a zeal all her own; her heart, liberal, open, and but toodaringly sincere, was fervent in affection, and enthusiastic inadmiration; the friends who were dear to her, she was devoted toserve, she magnified their virtues till she thought them of an higherrace of beings, she inflamed her generosity with ideas of what sheowed to them, till her life seemed too small a sacrifice to be refusedfor their service. 

Such was the love which already she felt for Cecilia; her countenancehad struck, her manners had charmed her, her understanding wasdisplayed by the quick intelligence of her eyes, and every action andevery notion spoke her mind the seat of elegance. In secret shesometimes regretted that she was not higher born, but that regretalways vanished when she saw and conversed with her. 

Her own youth had been passed in all the severity of affliction: shehad been married to Mr Delvile by her relations, without anyconsultation of her heart or her will. Her strong mind disdaineduseless complaints, yet her discontent, however private, was deep. Ardent in her disposition, and naturally violent in her passions, herfeelings were extremely acute, and to curb them by reason andprinciple had been the chief and hard study of her life. The efforthad calmed, though it had not made her happy. To love Mr Delvile shefelt was impossible; proud without merit, and imperious withoutcapacity, she saw with bitterness the inferiority of his faculties, and she found in his temper no qualities to endear or attract: yet sherespected his birth and his family, of which her own was a branch, andwhatever was her misery from the connection, she steadily behaved tohim with the strictest propriety. 

Her son, however, when she was blessed with his presence, had a powerover her mind that mitigated all her sorrows, and almost lulled evenher wishes to sleep: she rather idolised than loved him, yet herfondness flowed not from relationship, but from his worth and hischaracter, his talents and his disposition. She saw in him, indeed, all her own virtues and excellencies, with a toleration for theimperfections of others to which she was wholly a stranger. Whateverwas great or good she expected him to perform; occasion alone shethought wanting to manifest him the first of human beings. 

Nor here was Mr Delvile himself less sanguine in his hopes: his sonwas not only the first object of his affection, but the chief idol ofhis pride, and he did not merely cherish but reverence him as hissuccessor, the only support of his ancient name and family, withoutwhose life and health the whole race would be extinct. He consultedhim in all his affairs, never mentioned him but with distinction, andexpected the whole world to bow down before him. 

Delvile in his behaviour to his father imitated the conduct of hismother, who opposed him in nothing when his pleasure was made known, but who forbore to enquire into his opinion except in cases ofnecessity. Their minds, indeed, were totally dissimilar; and Delvilewell knew that if he submitted to his directions, he must demand suchrespect as the world would refuse with indignation, and scarcely speakto a man whose genealogy was not known to him. 

But though duty and gratitude were the only ties that bound him to hisfather, he loved his mother not merely with filial affection, but withthe purest esteem and highest reverence; he knew, too, that whilewithout him her existence would be a burthen, her tenderness was noeffusion of weak partiality, but founded on the strongest assurancesof his worth; and however to maternal indulgence its origin might beowing, the rectitude of his own conduct could alone save it fromdiminution. 

Such was the house in which Cecilia was now settled, and with whichshe lived almost to the exclusion of the sight of any other; forthough she had now been three weeks at the castle, she had only atchurch seen any family but the Delviles. 

Nor did any thing in the course of that time occur to her, but thereception of a melancholy letter from Mrs Harrel, filled withcomplaints of her retirement and misery; and another, from Mr Arnott, with an account of the funeral, the difficulties he had had toencounter with the creditors, who had even seized the dead body, andthe numerous expences in which he had been involved, by petitions hecould not withstand, from the meaner and more clamorous of those whomhis late brother-in-law had left unpaid. He concluded with a patheticprayer for her happiness, and a declaration that his own was lost forever, since now he was even deprived of her sight. Cecilia wrote anaffectionate answer to Mrs Harrel, promising, when fully at liberty, that she would herself fetch her to her own house in Suffolk: but shecould only send her compliments to Mr Arnott, though her compassionurged a kinder message; as she feared even a shadow of encouragementto so serious, yet hopeless a passion. 

CHAPTER iv. 

A RATTLE. 

At this time, the house was much enlivened by a visit from LadyHonoria Pemberton, who came to spend a month with Mrs Delvile. 

Cecilia had now but little leisure, for Lady Honoria would hardly resta moment away from her; she insisted upon walking with her, sittingwith her, working with her, and singing with her; whatever she did, she chose to do also; wherever she went, she was bent uponaccompanying her; and Mrs Delvile, who wished her well, though she hadno patience with her foibles, encouraged this intimacy from the hopeit might do her service. 

It was not, however, that Lady Honoria had conceived any regard forCecilia; on the contrary, had she been told she should see her nomore, she would have heard it with the same composure as if she hadbeen told she should meet with her daily: she had no motive forpursuing her but that she had nothing else to do, and no fondness forher society but, what resulted from aversion to solitude. 

Lady Honoria had received a fashionable education, in which herproficiency had been equal to what fashion made requisite; she sung alittle; played the harpsichord a little, painted a little, worked alittle, and danced a great deal. She had quick parts and high spirits, though her mind was uncultivated, and she was totally void of judgmentor discretion: she was careless of giving offence, and indifferent toall that was thought of her; the delight of her life was to createwonder by her rattle, and whether that wonder was to her advantage ordiscredit, she did not for a moment trouble herself to consider. 

A character of so much levity with so little heart had no great chanceof raising esteem or regard in Cecilia, who at almost any other periodof her life would have been wearied of her importunate attendance; butat present, the unsettled state of her own mind made her glad to giveit any employment, and the sprightliness of Lady Honoria servedtherefore to amuse her. Yet she could not forbear being hurt byfinding that the behaviour of Delvile was so exactly the same to themboth, that any common observer would with difficulty have pronouncedwhich he preferred. 

One morning about a week after her ladyship's arrival at the castle, she came running into Cecilia's room, saying she had very good newsfor her. 

"A charming opening!" cried Cecilia, "pray tell it me. "

"Why my Lord Derford is coming!"

"O what a melancholy dearth of incident, " cried Cecilia, "if this isyour best intelligence!"

"Why it's better than nothing: better than going to sleep over afamily party; and I vow I have sometimes such difficulty to keepawake, that I am frightened to death lest I should be taken with asudden nap, and affront them all. Now pray speak the truth withoutsqueamishness, don't you find it very terrible?"

"No, I find nothing very terrible with Mrs Delvile. "

"O, I like Mrs Delvile, too, of all things, for I believe she's thecleverest woman in the world; but then I know she does not like me, sothere's no being very fond of her. Besides, really, if I admired heras much again, I should be, dreadfully tired of seeing nothing else. She never stirs out, you know, and has no company at home, which is anextremely tiresome plan, for it only serves to make us all doubly sickof one another: though you must know it's one great reason why myfather likes I should come; for he has some very old-fashionednotions, though I take a great deal of pains to make him get thebetter of them. But I am always excessively rejoiced when the visithas been paid, for I am obliged to come every year. I don't mean_now_, indeed, because your being here makes it vastly moretolerable. "

"You do me much honour, " cried Cecilia, laughing. 

"But really, when my Lord Derford comes, it can't possibly be quite sobad, for at least there will be something else to look at; and youmust know my eyes tire extremely of always seeing the same objects. And we can ask him, too, for a little news, and that will put MrsDelvile in a passion, which will help to give us a little spirit:though I know we shall not get the smallest intelligence from him, forhe knows nothing in the world that's going forward. And, indeed, that's no great matter, for if he did, he would not know how to tellit, he's so excessively silly. However, I shall ask him all sort ofthings, for the less he can answer, the more it will plague him; and Ilike to plague a fool amazingly, because he can never plague oneagain. --Though really I ought to beg your pardon, for he is one ofyour admirers. "

"Oh pray make no stranger of me! you have my free consent to saywhatever you please of him. "

"I assure you, then, I like my old Lord Ernolf the best of the two, for he has a thousand times more sense than his son, and upon my wordI don't think he is much uglier. But I wonder vastly you would notmarry him, for all that, for you might have done exactly what youpleased with him, which, altogether, would have been no inconvenientcircumstance. "

"When I want a pupil, " answered Cecilia, "I shall think that anadmirable recommendation: but were I to marry, I would rather find atutor, of the two. "

"I am sure I should not, " cried Lady Honoria, carelessly, "for one hasenough to do with tutors before hand, and the best thing I know ofmarrying is to get rid of them. I fancy you think so too, only it's apretty speech to make. Oh how my sister Euphrasia would adore you!--Pray are you always as grave as you are now?"

"No, --yes, --indeed I hardly know. "

"I fancy it's this dismal place that hurts your spirits. I rememberwhen I saw you in St James's-square I thought you very lively. Butreally these thick walls are enough to inspire the vapours if onenever had them before. "

"I don't think they have had a very bad effect upon your ladyship!"

"O yes they have; if Euphrasia was here she would hardly know me. Andthe extreme want of taste and entertainment in all the family is quitemelancholy: for even if by chance one has the good fortune to hear anyintelligence, Mrs Delvile will hardly let it be repeated, for fear itshould happen to be untrue, as if that could possibly signify! I amsure I had as lieve the things were false as not, for they tell aswell one way as the other, if she would but have patience to hearthem. But she's extremely severe, you know, as almost all those veryclever women are; so that she keeps a kind of restraint upon mewhether I will or no. However, that's nothing compared to her _carosposo_, for he is utterly insufferable; so solemn, and so dull! sostately and so tiresome! Mortimer, too, gets worse and worse; O 'tis asad tribe! I dare say he will soon grow quite as horrible as hisfather. Don't you think so?"

"Why indeed, --no, --I don't think there's much resemblance, " saidCecilia, with some hesitation. 

"He is the most altered creature, " continued her ladyship, "I ever sawin my life. Once I thought him the most agreeable young man in theworld: but if you observe, that's all over now, and he is getting justas stupid and dismal as the rest of them. I wish you had been herelast summer; I assure you, you would quite have fallen in love withhim. "

"Should I?" said Cecilia, with a conscious smile. 

"Yes, for he was quite delightful; all spirit and gaiety, but now, ifit was not for you, I really think I should pretend to lose my way, and instead of going over that old draw-bridge, throw myself into themoat. I wish Euphrasia was here. It's just the right place for her. She'll fancy herself in a monastery as soon as she comes, and nothingwill make her half so happy, for she is always wishing to be a Nun, poor little simpleton. 

"Is there any chance that Lady Euphrasia may come?"

"O no, she can't at present, because it would not be proper: but Imean if ever she is married to Mortimer. "

"Married to him!" repeated Cecilia, in the utmost consternation. 

"I believe, my dear, " cried Lady Honoria, looking at her very archly, "you intend to be married to him yourself?"

"Me? no, indeed!"

"You look very guilty, though, " cried she laughing, "and indeed whenyou came hither, every body said that the whole affair was arranged. "

"For shame, Lady Honoria!" said Cecilia, again changing colour, "I amsure this must be your own fancy, --invention, --"

"No, I assure you; I heard it at several places; and every body saidhow charmingly your fortune would build up all these oldfortifications: but some people said they knew Mr Harrel had sold youto Mr Marriot, and that if you married Mortimer, there would be a lawsuitthat would take away half your estate; and others said you had promisedyour hand to Sir Robert Floyer, and repented when you heard of hismortgages, and he gave it out every where that he would fight any manthat pretended to you; and then again some said that you were all thetime privately married to Mr Arnott, but did not dare own it, because hewas so afraid of fighting with Sir Robert. "

"O Lady Honoria!" cried Cecilia, half laughing, "what wild inventionsare these! and all I hope, your own?"

"No, indeed, they were current over the whole town. But don't take anynotice of what I told you about Euphrasia, for perhaps, it may neverhappen. "

"Perhaps, " said Cecilia, reviving by believing it all fiction, "it hasnever been in agitation?"

"O yes; it is negociating at this very moment, I believe, among thehigher powers; only Mr Delvile does not yet know whether Euphrasia hasfortune enough for what he wants. "

Ah, thought Cecilia, how do I rejoice that my independent situationexempts me from being disposed of for life, by thus being set up tosale!

"They thought of me, once, for Mortimer, " continued Lady Honoria, "butI'm vastly glad that's over, for I never should have survived beingshut up in this place; it's much fitter for Euphrasia. To tell you thetruth, I believe they could not make out money enough; but Euphrasiahas a fortune of her own, besides what we shall have together, forGrandmama left her every thing that was in her own power. "

"Is Lady Euphrasia your elder sister?"

"O no, poor little thing, she's two years younger. Grandmama broughther up, and` she has seen nothing at all of the world, for she hasnever been presented yet, so she is not _come out_, you know: butshe's to come out next year. However, she once saw Mortimer, but shedid not like him at all. "

"Not like him!" cried Cecilia, greatly surprised. 

"No, she thought him too gay, --Oh dear, I wish she could see him now!I am sure I hope she would find him sad enough! she is the most formallittle grave thing you ever beheld: she'll preach to you sometimes forhalf an hour together. Grandmama taught her nothing in the world butto say her prayers, so that almost every other word you say, shethinks is quite wicked. "

The conversation was now interrupted by their separating to dress fordinner. It left Cecilia in much perplexity; she knew not what whollyto credit, or wholly to disbelieve; but her chief concern arose fromthe unfortunate change of countenance which Lady Honoria had been soquick in observing. 

The next time she was alone with Mrs Delvile, "Miss Beverley, " shesaid, "has your little rattling tormentor acquainted you who iscoming?"

"Lord Derford, do you mean, ma'am?"

"Yes, with his father; shall you dislike to see them?"

"Not if, as I hope, they come merely to wait upon you and Mr Delvile. "

"Mr Delvile and myself, " answered she smiling, "will certainly havethe honour of _receiving_ them. "

"Lord Ernolf, " said Cecilia, "can never suppose his visit will makeany change in me; I have been very explicit with him, and he seemedequally rational and well bred in forbearing any importunity upon thesubject. "

"It has however been much believed in town, " said Mrs Delvile, "thatyou were strangely shackled by Mr Harrel, and therefore his lordshipmay probably hope that a change in your situation may be followed by achange in his favour. "

"I shall be sorry if he does, " said Cecilia, "for he will then findhimself much deceived. "

"You are right, very right, " cried Mrs Delvile, "to be difficult inyour choice, and to take time for looking around you before you makeany. I have forborn all questions upon this subject, lest you shouldfind any reluctance in answering them; but I am now too deeplyinterested in your welfare to be contented in total ignorance of yourdesigns: will you, then, suffer me to make a few enquiries?"

Cecilia gave a ready, but blushing assent. 

"Tell me, then, of the many admirers who have graced your train, whichthere is you have distinguished with any intention of futurepreference?"

"Not one, madam!"

"And, out of so many, is there not one that, hereafter, you mean todistinguish?"

"Ah madam!" cried Cecilia, shaking her head, "many as they may seem, Ihave little reason to be proud of them; there is one only who, had myfortune been smaller, would, I believe, ever have thought of me, andthere is one only, who, were it now diminished, would ever think of memore. "

"This sincerity, " cried Mrs Delvile, "is just what I expected fromyou. There is, then, _one_?"

"I believe there is, --and the worthy Mr Arnott is the man; I am muchindeed deceived, if his partiality for me is not truly disinterested, and I almost wish"--

"What, my love?"

"That I could return it more gratefully!"

"And do you not?"

"No!--I cannot! I esteem him, I have the truest regard for hischaracter, and were I now by any fatal necessity, compelled to belongto any one of those who have been pleased to address me, I should nothesitate a moment in shewing him my gratitude; but yet, for some timeat least, such a proof of it would render me very miserable. "

"You may perhaps think so now, " returned Mrs Delvile; "but withsentiments so strongly in his favour, you will probably be ledhereafter to pity--and accept him. "

"No, indeed, madam; I pretend not, I own, to open my whole heart toyou;--I know not that you would have patience, for so uninteresting adetail; but though there are some things I venture not to mention, there is nothing, believe me, in which I will deceive you. "

"I _do_ believe you, " cried Mrs Delvile, embracing her; "and themore readily because, not merely among your avowed admirers, but amongthe whole race of men, I scarce know one to whom I should think youworthily consigned!"

Ah! thought Cecilia, that scarce! who may it mean to except?

"To shew you, " she continued, "that I will deserve your confidence infuture, I will refrain from distressing you by any further questionsat present: you will not, I think, act materially without consultingme, and for your thoughts--it were tyranny, not friendship, toinvestigate them more narrowly. "

Cecilia's gratitude for this delicacy, would instantly have inducedher to tell every secret of her soul, had she not apprehended such aconfession would have seemed soliciting her interest and assistance, in the only affair in which she would have disdained even to receivethem. 

She thanked her, therefore, for her kindness, and the conversation wasdropt; she much wished to have known whether these enquiries sprungsimply from friendly curiosity, or whether she was desirous from anynearer motive to be satisfied with respect to her freedom orengagements. This, however, she had no method of discovering, and wastherefore compelled to wait quietly till time should make it clear. 

CHAPTER v. 

A STORM. 

One evening about this time, which was the latter end of July, LadyHonoria and Cecilia deferred walking out till very late, and thenfound it so pleasant, that they had strolled into the Park two milesfrom the house, when they were met by young Delvile; who, however, only reminded them how far they had to return, and walked on. 

"He grows quite intolerable!" cried Lady Honoria, when he was gone;"it's really a melancholy thing to see a young man behave so like anold Monk. I dare say in another week he won't take off his hat to us;and, in about a fortnight, I suppose he'll shut himself up in one ofthose little round towers, and shave his head, and live upon roots, and howl if any body comes near him. I really half wonder he does notthink it too dissipated to let Fidel run after him so. A thousand toone but he shoots him some day for giving a sudden bark when he's inone of these gloomy fits. Something, however, must certainly be thematter with him. Perhaps he is in love. "

"Can nothing be the matter with him but that?" cried Cecilia. 

"Nay, I don't know; but I am sure if he is, his Mistress has not muchoccasion to be jealous of you or me, for never, I think, were two poorDamsels so neglected!"

The utmost art of malice could not have furnished speech more trulymortifying to Cecilia than this thoughtless and accidental sally ofLady Honoria's: particularly, however, upon her guard, from theraillery she had already endured, she answered, with apparentindifference, "he is meditating, perhaps, upon Lady Euphrasia. "

"O no, " cried Lady Honoria, "for he did not take any notice of herwhen he saw her; I am sure if he marries her, it will only be becausehe cannot help it. "

"Poor Lady Euphrasia!"

"O no, not at all; he'll make her two or three fine speeches, and thenshe'll be perfectly contented especially if he looks as dismally ather as he does at us! and that probably he will do the more readilyfor not liking to look at her at all. But she's such a romantic littlething, she'll never suspect him. "

Here they were somewhat alarmed by a sudden darkness in the air, whichwas presently succeeded by a thunder storm; they instantly turnedback, and began running home, when a violent shower of rain obligedthem to take shelter under a large tree; where in two minutes theywere joined by Delvile, who came to offer his assistance in hurryingthem home; and finding the thunder and lightning continue, begged themto move on, in defiance of the rain, as their present situationexposed them to more danger than a wet hat and cloak, which might bechanged in a moment. 

Cecilia readily assented; but Lady Honoria, extremely frightened, protested she would not stir till the storm was over. It was in vainhe represented her mistake in supposing herself in a place ofsecurity; she clung to the tree, screamed at every flash of lightning, and all her gay spirits were lost in her apprehensions. 

Delvile then earnestly proposed to Cecilia conducting her home byherself, and returning again to Lady Honoria; but she thought it wrongto quit her companion, and hardly right to accept his assistanceseparately. They waited, therefore, some time all together; but thestorm increasing with great violence, the thunder growing louder, andthe lightning becoming stronger, Delvile grew impatient even to angerat Lady Honoria's resistance, and warmly expostulated upon its follyand danger. But the present was no season for lessons in philosophy;prejudices she had never been taught to surmount made her thinkherself in a place of safety, and she was now too much terrified togive argument fair play. 

Finding her thus impracticable, Delvile eagerly said to Cecilia, "Comethen, Miss Beverley, let us wait no longer; I will see you home, andthen return to Lady Honoria. "

"By no means, " cried she, "my life is not more precious than either ofyours, and therefore it may run the same risk. "

"It is more precious, " cried he with vehemence, "than the air Ibreathe!" and seizing her hand, he drew it under his arm, and, withoutwaiting her consent, almost forced her away with him, saying as theyran, "How could a thousand Lady Honoria's recompense the world for theloss of one Miss Beverley? we may, indeed, find many thousand such asLady Honoria, but such as Miss Beverley--where shall we ever findanother?"

Cecilia, surprised, yet gratified, could not speak, for the speed withwhich they ran almost took away her breath; and before they were nearhome, slackening her pace, and panting, she confessed her strength wasexhausted, and that she could go so fast no further. 

"Let us then stop and rest, " cried he; "but why will you not lean uponme? surely this is no time for scruples, and for idle and unnecessaryscruples, Miss Beverley can never find a time. "

Cecilia then, urged equally by shame at his speech and by weaknessfrom fatigue, leant upon his arm but she soon repented hercondescension; for Delvile, with an emotion he seemed to find whollyirrepressible, passionately exclaimed "sweet lovely burthen! O why notthus for ever!"

The strength of Cecilia was now instantly restored, and she hastilywithdrew from his hold; he suffered her to disengage herself, but saidin a faultering voice, "pardon me, Cecilia!--Madam!--Miss Beverley, Imean!--"

Cecilia, without making any answer, walked on by herself, as quick apace as she was able; and Delvile, not venturing to oppose her, silently followed. 

They had gone but a few steps, before there came a violent shower ofhail; and the wind, which was very high, being immediately in theirfaces, Cecilia was so pelted and incommoded, that she was frequentlyobliged to stop, in defiance of her utmost efforts to force herselfforward. Delvile then approaching her, proposed that she should againstand under a tree, as the thunder and lightning for the presentseemed over, and wait there till the fury of the hail was past: andCecilia, though never before so little disposed to oblige him, was somuch distressed by the violence of the wind and hail, that she wasforced to comply. 

Every instant now seemed an age; yet neither hail nor wind abated:mean time they were both silent, and both, though with differentfeelings, equally comfortless. 

Delvile, however, who took care to place himself on the side whencethe wind blew hardest, perceived, in spite of his endeavours to saveher, some hail-stones lodged upon her thin summer cloak: he then tookoff his own hat, and, though he ventured not to let it touch her, heldit in such a manner as to shelter her better. 

Cecilia now could no longer be either silent or unmoved, but turningto him with much emotion, said, "Why will you do this, Mr Delvile?"

"What would I _not_ do, " answered he, "to obtain forgiveness fromMiss Beverley?"

"Well, well, --pray put on your hat. "

"Do you command it?"

"No, certainly!--but I wish it. "

"Ah!" cried he, instantly putting it on, "whose are the commands thatwould have half the weight with your wishes?"

And then, after another pause, he added, "do you forgive me?"

Cecilia, ashamed of the cause of their dissension, and softened by theseriousness of his manner, answered very readily, "yes, yes, --why willyou make me remember such nonsense?"

"All sweetness, " cried he warmly, and snatching her hand, "is MissBeverley!--O that I had power--that it were not utterly impossible--that the cruelty of my situation--"

"I find, " cried she, greatly agitated, and forcibly drawing away herhand, "you will teach me, for another time, the folly of fearing badweather!"

And she hurried from beneath the tree; and Delvile perceiving one ofthe servants approach with an umbrella, went forward to take it fromhim, and directed him to hasten instantly to Lady Honoria. 

Then returning to Cecilia, he would have held it over her head, butwith an air of displeasure, she took it into her own hand. 

"Will you not let me carry it for you?" he cried. 

"No, Sir, there is not any occasion. "

They then proceeded silently on. 

The storm was now soon over; but it grew very dark, and as they hadquitted the path while they ran, in order to get home by a shortercut, the walk was so bad from the height of the grass, and theunevenness of the ground, that Cecilia had the utmost difficulty tomake her way; yet she resolutely refused any assistance from Delvile, who walked anxiously by her side, and seemed equally fearful upon hisown account and upon hers, to trust himself with being importunate. 

At length they came to a place which Cecilia in vain tried to pass;Delvile then grew more urgent to help her; firm, however, in decliningall aid, she preferred going a considerable way round to another partof the park which led to the house. Delvile, angry as well asmortified, proposed to assist her no more, but followed without sayinga word. 

Cecilia, though she felt not all the resentment she displayed, stillthought it necessary to support it, as she was much provoked with theperpetual inconsistency of his behaviour, and deemed it whollyimproper to suffer, without discouragement, occasional sallies oftenderness from one who, in his general conduct, behaved with the mostscrupulous reserve. 

They now arrived at the castle; but entering by a back way, came to asmall and narrow passage which obstructed the entrance of theumbrella: Delvile once more, and almost involuntarily, offered to helpher; but, letting down the spring, she coldly said she had no furtheruse for it. 

He then went forward to open a small gate which led by another longpassage into the hall: but hearing the servants advance, he held itfor an instant in his hand, while, in a tone of voice the mostdejected, he said "I am grieved to find you thus offended; but were itpossible you could know half the wretchedness of my heart, thegenerosity of your own would make you regret this severity!" and then, opening the gate, he bowed, and went another way. 

Cecilia was now in the midst of servants; but so much shocked andastonished by the unexpected speech of Delvile, which instantlychanged all her anger into sorrow, that she scarce knew what they saidto her, nor what she replied; though they all with one voice enquiredwhat was become of Lady Honoria, and which way they should run to seekher. 

Mrs Delvile then came also, and she was obliged to recollect herself. She immediately proposed her going to bed, and drinking white winewhey to prevent taking cold: cold, indeed, she feared not; yet sheagreed to the proposal, for she was confounded and dismayed by whathad passed, and utterly unable to hold any conversation. 

Her perplexity and distress were, however, all attributed to fatigueand fright; and Mrs Delvile, having assisted in hurrying her to bed, went to perform the same office for Lady Honoria, who arrived at thattime. 

Left at length by herself, she revolved in her mind the adventure ofthe evening, and the whole behaviour of Delvile since first she wasacquainted with him. That he loved her with tenderness, with fondnessloved her, seemed no longer to admit of any doubt, for however distantand cold he appeared, when acting with circumspection and design, themoment he was off his guard from surprise, terror, accident of anysort, the moment that he was betrayed into acting from nature andinclination, he was constantly certain to discover a regard the mostanimated and flattering. 

This regard, however, was not more evident than his desire to concealand to conquer it: he seemed to dread even her sight, and to haveimposed upon himself the most rigid forbearance of all conversation orintercourse with her. 

Whence could this arise? what strange and unfathomable cause couldrender necessary a conduct so mysterious? he knew not, indeed, thatshe herself wished it changed, but he could not be ignorant that hischance with almost any woman would at least be worth trying. 

Was the obstacle which thus discouraged him the condition imposed byher uncle's will of giving her own name to the man she married? thisshe herself thought was an unpleasant circumstance, but yet so commonfor an heiress, that it could hardly out-weigh the many advantages ofsuch a connection. 

Henrietta again occurred to her; the letter she had seen in her handswas still unexplained: yet her entire conviction that Henrietta wasnot loved by him, joined to a certainty that affection alone couldever make him think of her, lessened upon this subject her suspicionsevery moment. 

Lady Euphrasia Pemberton, at last, rested most upon her mind, and shethought it probable some actual treaty was negociating with the Dukeof Derwent. 

Mrs Delvile she had every reason to believe was her friend, though shewas scrupulously delicate in avoiding either raillery or observationupon the subject of her son, whom she rarely mentioned, and never butupon occasions in which Cecilia could have no possible interest. 

The Father, therefore, notwithstanding all Mr Monckton had representedto the contrary, appeared to be the real obstacle; his pride mightreadily object to her birth, which though not contemptible, was merelydecent, and which, if traced beyond her grandfather, lost all titleeven to that epithet. 

"If this, however, " she cried, "is at last his situation, how muchhave I been to blame in censuring his conduct! for while to me he hasappeared capricious, he has, in fact, acted wholly from necessity: ifhis father insists upon his forming another connection, has he notbeen honourable, prudent and just, in flying an object that made himthink of disobedience, and endeavouring to keep her ignorant of apartiality it is his duty to curb?"

All, therefore, that remained for her to do or to resolve, was toguard her own secret with more assiduous care than ever, and since shefound that their union was by himself thought impossible, to keep fromhis knowledge that the regret was not all his own. 

CHAPTER vi. 

A MYSTERY. 

For two days, in consequence of violent colds caught during the storm, Lady Honoria Pemberton and Cecilia were confined to their rooms. Cecilia, glad by solitude and reflection to compose her spirits andsettle her plan of conduct, would willingly have still prolonged herretirement, but the abatement of her cold affording her no pretence, she was obliged on the third day to make her appearance. 

Lady Honoria, though less recovered, as she had been more a sufferer, was impatient of any restraint, and would take no denial to quittingher room at the same time; at dinner, therefore, all the family met atusual. 

Mr Delvile, with his accustomed solemnity of civility, made variousenquiries and congratulations upon their danger and their security, carefully in both, addressing himself first to Lady Honoria, and thenwith more stateliness in his kindness, to Cecilia. His lady, who hadfrequently visited them both, had nothing new to hear. 

Delvile did not come in till they were all seated, when, hastilysaying he was glad to see both the ladies so well again, he instantlyemployed himself in carving, with the agitation of a man who fearedtrusting himself to sit idle. 

Little, however, as he said, Cecilia was much struck by the melancholytone of his voice, and the moment she raised her eyes, she observedthat his countenance was equally sad. 

"Mortimer, " cried Mr Delvile, "I am sure you are not well: I cannotimagine why you will not have some advice. "

"Were I to send for a physician, Sir, " cried Delvile, with affectedchearfulness, "he would find it much more difficult to imagine whatadvice to give me. "

"Permit me however, Mr Mortimer, " cried Lady Honoria, "to return youmy humble thanks for the honour of your assistance in the thunderstorm! I am afraid you made yourself ill by attending _me_!"

"Your ladyship, " returned Delvile, colouring very high, yet pretendingto laugh; "made so great a coward of me, that I ran away from shame atmy own inferiority of courage. "

"Were you, then, with Lady Honoria during the storm?" cried MrsDelvile. 

"No, Madam!" cried Lady Honoria very quick; "but he was so good as to_leave_ me during the storm. "

"Mortimer, " said Mr Delvile, "is this possible?"

"O Lady Honoria was such a Heroine, " answered Delvile, "that shewholly disdained receiving any assistance; her valour was so much moreundaunted than mine, that she ventured to brave the lightning under anoak tree!"

"Now, dear Mrs Delvile, " exclaimed Lady Honoria, "think what asimpleton he would have made of me! he wanted to persuade me that inthe open air I should be less exposed to danger than under the shelterof a thick tree!"

"Lady Honoria, " replied Mrs Delvile, with a sarcastic smile, "the nexttale of scandal you oblige me to hear, I will insist for yourpunishment that you shall read one of Mr Newbury's little books! thereare twenty of them that will explain this matter to you, and suchreading will at least employ your time as usefully as such tales!"

"Well, ma'am, " said Lady Honoria, "I don't know whether you arelaughing at me or not, but really I concluded Mr Mortimer only choseto amuse himself in a _tête-à-tête_ with Miss Beverley. "

"He was not with Miss Beverley, " cried Mrs Delvile with quickness;"she was alone, --I saw her myself the moment she came in. "

"Yes, ma'am, --but not then, -he was gone;"--said Cecilia, endeavouring, but not very successfully, to speak with composure. 

"I had the honour, " cried Delvile, making, with equal success, thesame attempt, "to wait upon Miss Beverley to the little gate; and Iwas then returning to Lady Honoria when I met her ladyship just comingin. "

"Very extraordinary, Mortimer, " said Mr Delvile, staring, "to attendLady Honoria the last!"

"Don't be angry in earnest, Sir, " cried Lady Honoria, gaily, "for Idid not mean to turn tell-tale. "

Here the subject was dropt: greatly to the joy both of Delvile andCecilia, who mutually exerted themselves in talking upon what next wasstarted, in order to prevent its being recurred to again. 

That fear, however, over, Delvile said little more; sadness hungheavily on his mind; he was absent, disturbed, uneasy; yet heendeavoured no longer to avoid Cecilia; on the contrary, when shearose to quit the room, he looked evidently disappointed. 

The ladies' colds kept them at home all the evening, and Delvile, forthe first time since their arrival at the castle, joined them at tea:nor when it was over, did he as usual retire; he loitered, pretendedto be caught by a new pamphlet, and looked as anxiously eager to speakwith Cecilia, as he had hitherto appeared to shun her. 

With new emotion and fresh distress Cecilia perceived this change;what he might have to say she could not conjecture, but all thatforeran his communication convinced her it was nothing she could wish;and much as she had desired some explanation of his designs, when thelong-expected moment seemed arriving, prognostications the most cruelof the event, repressed her impatience, and deadened her curiosity. She earnestly lamented her unfortunate residence in his house, wherethe adoration of every inhabitant, from his father to the lowestservant, had impressed her with the strongest belief of his generalworthiness, and greatly, though imperceptibly, encreased her regardfor him, since she had now not a doubt remaining but that some cruel, some fatal obstacle, prohibited their union. 

To collect fortitude to hear it with composure, was now her wholestudy; but though, when alone, she thought any discovery preferable tosuspence, all her courage failed her when Delvile appeared, and if shecould not detain Lady Honoria, she involuntarily followed her. 

Thus passed four or five days; during which the health of Delvileseemed to suffer with his mind, and though be refused to acknowledgehe was ill, it was evident to every body that he was far from well. 

Mr Delvile frequently urged him to consent to have some advice; but healways revived, though with forced and transitory spirits, at themention of a physician, and the proposal ended in nothing. 

Mrs Delvile, too, at length grew alarmed; her enquiries were morepenetrating and pointed, but they were not more successful; everyattack of this sort was followed by immediate gaiety, which, howeverconstrained, served, for the time, to change the subject. Mrs Delvile, however, was not soon to be deceived; she watched her son incessantly, and seemed to feel an inquietude scarce less than his own. 

Cecilia's distress was now augmented every moment, and the difficultyto conceal it grew every hour more painful; she felt herself the causeof the dejection of the son, and that thought made her feel guilty inthe presence of the mother; the explanation she expected threatenedher with new misery, and the courage to endure it she tried in vain toacquire; her heart was most cruelly oppressed, apprehension andsuspence never left it for an instant; rest abandoned her at night, and chearfulness by day. 

At this time the two lords, Ernolf and Derford, arrived; and Cecilia, who at first had lamented their design, now rejoiced in theirpresence, since they divided the attention of Mrs Delvile, which shebegan to fear was not wholly directed to her son, and since they savedher from having the whole force of Lady Honoria's high spirits and gayrattle to herself. 

Their immediate observations upon the ill looks of Delvile, startledboth Cecilia and the mother even more than their own fears, which theyhad hoped were rather the result of apprehension than of reason. Cecilia now severely reproached herself with having deferred theconference he was evidently seeking, not doubting but she hadcontributed to his indisposition by denying him the relief he mightexpect from concluding the affair. 

Melancholy as was this idea, it was yet a motive to overpower herreluctance, and determine her no longer to shun what it seemednecessary to endure. 

Deep reasoners, however, when they are also nice casuists, frequentlyresolve with a tardiness which renders their resolutions of no effect:this was the case with Cecilia; the same morning that she came downstairs prepared to meet with firmness the blow which she believedawaited her, Delvile, who, since the arrival of the two lords, hadalways appeared at the general breakfast, acknowledged in answer tohis mother's earnest enquiries, that he had a cold and head-ache: andhad he, at the same time, acknowledged a pleurisy and fever, the alarminstantly spread in the family could not have been greater; MrDelvile, furiously ringing the bell, ordered a man and horse to gothat moment to Dr Lyster, the physician to the family, and not toreturn without him if he was himself alive; and Mrs Delvile, not lessdistressed, though more quiet, fixed her eyes upon her son, with anexpression of anxiety that shewed her whole happiness was bound in hisrecovery. 

Delvile endeavoured to laugh away their fears, assuring them he shouldbe well the next day, and representing in ridiculous terms theperplexity of Dr Lyster to contrive some prescription for him. 

Cecilia's behaviour, guided by prudence and modesty, was steady andcomposed; she believed his illness and his uneasiness were the same, and she hoped the resolution she had taken would bring relief to themboth while the terrors of Mr and Mrs Delvile seemed so greatly beyondthe occasion, that her own were rather lessened than increased bythem. 

Dr Lyster soon arrived; he was a humane and excellent physician, and aman of sound judgment. 

Delvile, gaily, shaking hands with him, said "I believe, Dr Lyster, you little expected to meet a patient, who, were he as skilful, wouldbe as able to do business as yourself. "

"What, with such a hand as this?" cried the Doctor; "come, come, youmust not teach me my own profession. When I attend a patient, I cometo tell how he is myself, not to be told. "

"He is, then ill!" cried Mrs Delvile; "oh Mortimer, why have you thusdeceived us!"

"What is his disorder?" cried Mr Delvile; "let us call in more help;who shall we send for, doctor?"

And again he rang the bell. 

"What now?" said Dr Lyster, coolly; "must a man be dying if he is notin perfect health? we want nobody else; I hope I can prescribe: for acold without demanding a consultation?"

"But are you sure it is merely a cold?" cried Mr Delvile; "may notsome dreadful malady"--

"Pray, Sir, have patience, " interrupted the doctor; "Mr Mortimer and Iwill have some discourse together presently; mean time, let us all sitdown, and behave like Christians: I never talk of my art beforecompany. 'Tis hard you won't let me be a gentleman at large for twominutes!"

Lady Honoria and Cecilia would then have risen, but neither Dr Lysternor Delvile would permit them to go; and a conversation tolerablylively took place, after which, the party in general separating, thedoctor accompanied Delvile to his own apartment. 

Cecilia then went up stairs, where she most impatiently waited someintelligence: none, however, arriving, in about half an hour shereturned to the parlour; she found it empty, but was soon joined byLady Honoria and Lord Ernolf. 

Lady Honoria, happy in having something going forward, and not muchconcerning herself whether it were good or evil, was as eager tocommunicate what she had gathered, as Cecilia was to hear it. 

"Well, my dear, " she cried, "so I don't find at last but that all thisprodigious illness will be laid to your account. "

"To my account?" cried Cecilia, "how is that possible?"

"Why this tender chicken caught cold in the storm last week, and notbeing put to bed by its mama, and nursed with white-wine whey, thepoor thing has got a fever. "

"He is a fine young man, " said Lord Ernolf; "I should be sorry anyharm happened to him. "

"He _was_ a fine young man, my lord, " cried Lady Honoria, "but heis grown intolerably stupid lately; however, it's all the fault of hisfather and mother. Was ever any thing half so ridiculous as theirbehaviour this morning? it was with the utmost difficulty I forborelaughing in their faces: and really, I believe if I was to meet withsuch an unfortunate accident with Mr Delvile, it would turn him tomarble at once! indeed he is little better now, but such an affront asthat would never let him move from the spot where he received it. "

"I forgive him, however, " returned Lord Ernolf, "for his anxiety abouthis son, since he is the last of so ancient a family. "

"That is his great misfortune, my lord, " answered Lady Honoria, "because it is the very reason they make such a puppet of him. Ifthere were but a few more little masters to dandle and fondle, I'llanswer for it this precious Mortimer would soon be left to himself:and then, really, I believe he would be a good tolerable sort of youngman. Don't you think he would, Miss Beverley?"

"O yes!" said Cecilia, "I believe--I think so!"

"Nay, nay, I did not ask if you thought him tolerable _now_, sono need to be frightened. "

Here they were interrupted by the entrance of Dr Lyster. 

"Well, Sir, " cried Lady Honoria, "and when am I to go into mourningfor my cousin Mortimer?"

"Why very soon, " answered he, "unless you take better care of him. Hehas confessed to me that after being out in the storm last Wednesday, he sat in his wet cloaths all the evening. "

"Dear, " cried Lady Honoria, "and what would that do to him? I have nonotion of a man's always wanting a cambric handkerchief about histhroat. "

"Perhaps your ladyship had rather make him apply it to his eyes?"cried the doctor: "however, sitting inactive in wet cloaths woulddestroy a stouter man than Mr Delvile; but he _forgot_ it, hesays! which of you two young ladies could not have given as goodreason?"

"Your most obedient, " said Lady Honoria and why should not a lady giveas good a reason as a gentleman?"

"I don't know, " answered he, drily, "but from want of practice, Ibelieve. "

"O worse and worse!" cried Lady Honoria; you shall never be myphysician; if I was to be attended by you, you'd make me sick insteadof well. "

"All the better, " answered he, "for then I must have the honour ofattending you till I made you well instead of sick. " And with a good-humoured smile, he left them; and Lord Derford, at the same time, coming into the room, Cecilia contrived to stroll out into the park. 

The account to which she had been listening redoubled her uneasiness;she was conscious that whatever was the indisposition of Delvile, andwhether it was mental or bodily, she was herself its occasion: throughher he had been negligent, she had rendered him forgetful, and inconsulting her own fears in preference to his peace, she had avoidedan explanation, though he had vigilantly sought one. _She knewnot_, he told her, _half the wretchedness of his heart_. --Alas! thought she, he little conjectures the state of mine!

Lady Honoria suffered her not to be long alone; in about half an hourshe ran after her, gaily calling out, "O Miss Beverley, you have lostthe delightfullest diversion in the world! I have just had the mostridiculous scene with my Lord Derford that you ever heard in yourlife! I asked him what put it in his head to be in love with you, --andhe had the simplicity to answer, quite seriously, his father!"

"He was very right, " said Cecilia, "if the desire of uniting twoestates is to be denominated being in love; for that, most certainly, was put into his head by his father. "

"O but you have not heard half. I told him, then, that, as a friend, in confidence I must acquaint him, I believed you intended to marryMortimer--"

"Good heaven, Lady Honoria!"

"O, you shall hear the reason; because, as I assured him, it wasproper he should immediately call him to account. "

"Are you mad, Lady Honoria?"

"For you know, said I, Miss Beverley has had one duel fought for heralready, and a lady who has once had that compliment paid her, alwaysexpects it from every new admirer; and I really believe your notobserving that form is the true cause of her coldness to you. "

"Is it possible you can have talked so wildly?"

"Yes, and what is much better, he believed every word I said!"

"Much better?--No, indeed, it is much worse! and if, in fact, he is souncommonly weak, I shall really be but little indebted to yourladyship for giving him such notions. "

"O I would not but have done it for the world! for I never laughed soimmoderately in my life. He began assuring me he was not afraid, forhe said he had practised fencing more than any thing: so I made himpromise to send a challenge to Mortimer as soon as he is well enoughto come down again: for Dr Lyster has ordered him to keep his room. "

Cecilia, smothering her concern for this last piece of intelligence bypretending to feel it merely for the former, expostulated with LadyHonoria upon so mischievous a frolic, and earnestly entreated her togo back and contradict it all. 

"No, no, not for the world!" cried she; "he has not the least spirit, and I dare say he would not fight to save the whole nation fromdestruction; but I'll make him believe that it's necessary, in orderto give him something to think of, for really his poor head is sovacant, that I am sure if one might but play upon it with sticks, itwould sound just like a drum. "

Cecilia, finding it vain to combat with her fantasies, was at lengthobliged to submit. 

The rest of the day she passed very unpleasantly; Delvile appearednot; his father was restless and disturbed, and his mother, thoughattentive to her guests, and, for their sakes rallying her spirits, was visibly ill disposed to think or to talk but of her son. 

One diversion, however, Cecilia found for herself; Delvile had afavourite spaniel, which, when he walked followed him, and when herode, ran by his horse; this dog, who was not admitted into the house, she now took under her own care; and spent almost the whole day out ofdoors, chiefly for the satisfaction of making him her companion. 

The next morning, when Dr Lyster came again, she kept in the way, inorder to hear his opinion; and was sitting with Lady Honoria in theparlour, when he entered it to write a prescription. 

Mrs Delvile, in a few moments, followed him, and with a face and voiceof the tenderest maternal apprehensions, said "Doctor, one thingentrust me with immediately; I can neither bear imposition norsuspense;--you know what I would say!--tell me if I have any thing tofear, that my preparations may be adequate!"

"Nothing, I believe, in the world. "

"You believe!" repeated Mrs Delvile, starting; "Oh doctor!"

"Why you would not have me say I am _certain_, would you? theseare no times for Popery and infallibility; however, I assure you Ithink him perfectly safe. He has done a foolish and idle trick, but noman is wise always. We must get rid of his fever, and then if his coldremains, with any cough, he may make a little excursion to Bristol. "

"To Bristol! nay then, --I understand you too well!"

"No, no, you don't understand me at all; I don't send him to Bristolbecause he is in a bad way, but merely because I mean to put him in agood one. "

"Let him, then, go immediately; why should he increase the danger bywaiting a moment? I will order--"

"Hold, hold! I know what to order myself! 'Tis a strange thing peoplewill always teach me my own duty! why should I make a man travel suchweather as this in a fever? do you think I want to confine him in amad-house, or be confined in one myself?"

"Certainly you know best--but still if there is any danger--"

"No, no, there is not! only we don't chuse there should be any. Andhow will he entertain himself better than by going to Bristol? I sendhim merely on a jaunt of pleasure; and I am sure he will be saferthere than shut up in a house with two such young ladies as these. "

And then he made off. Mrs Delvile, too anxious for conversation, leftthe room, and Cecilia, too conscious for silence, forced herself intodiscourse with Lady Honoria. 

Three days she passed in this uncertainty what she had to expect;blaming those fears which had deferred an explanation, and tormentedby Lady Honoria, whose raillery and levity now grew very unseasonable. Fidel, the favourite spaniel, was almost her only consolation, and shepleased herself not inconsiderably by making a friend of the faithfulanimal. 

CHAPTER vii. 

AN ANECDOTE. 

On the fourth day the house wore a better aspect; Delvile's fever wasgone, and Dr Lyster permitted him to leave his room: a cough, however, remained, and his journey to Bristol was settled to take place inthree days. Cecilia, knowing he was now expected down stairs, hastenedout of the parlour the moment she had finished her breakfast; foraffected by his illness, and hurt at the approaching separation, shedreaded the first meeting, and wished to fortify her mind for bearingit with propriety. 

In a very few minutes, Lady Honoria, running after her, entreated thatshe would come down; "for Mortimer, " she cried, "is in the parlour, and the poor child is made so much of by its papa and mama, that Iwish they don't half kill him by their ridiculous fondness. It isamazing to me he is so patient with them, for if they teized me halfas much, I should be ready to jump up and shake them. But I wish youwould come down, for I assure you it's a comical scene. "

"Your ladyship is soon diverted! but what is there so comical in theanxiety of parents for an only son?"

"Lord, they don't care a straw for him all the time! it's merely thathe may live to keep up this old castle, which I hope in my heart hewill pull down the moment they are dead! But do pray come; it willreally give you spirits to see them all. The father keeps ringing thebell to order half a hundred pair of boots for him, and all thegreatcoats in the county; and the mother sits and looks as if a hearseand mourning coach were already coming over the drawbridge: but themost diverting object among them is my Lord Derford! O, it is reallytoo entertaining to see him! there he sits, thinking the whole time ofhis challenge! I intend to employ him all this afternoon in practisingto shoot at a mark. "

And then again she pressed her to join the group, and Cecilia, fearingher opposition might seem strange, consented. 

Delvile arose at her entrance, and, with tolerable steadiness, shecongratulated him on his recovery: and then, taking her usual seat, employed herself in embroidering a screen. She joined too, occasionally, in the conversation, and observed, not without surprise, that Delvile seemed much less dejected than before his confinement. 

Soon after, he ordered his horse, and, accompanied by Lord Derford, rode out. Mr Delvile then took Lord Ernolf to shew him some intendedimprovements in another part of the castle, and Lady Honoria walkedaway in search of any entertainment she could find. 

Mrs Delvile, in better spirits than she had been for many days, sentfor her own work, and sitting by Cecilia, conversed with her again asin former times; mixing instruction with entertainment, and generalsatire with particular kindness, in a manner at once so lively and soflattering, that Cecilia herself reviving, found but little difficultyin bearing her part in the conversation. 

And thus, with some gaiety, and tolerable ease, was spent the greatestpart of the morning; but just as they were talking of changing theirdress for dinner, Lady Honoria with an air of the utmost exultation, came flying into the room. "Well, ma'am, " she cried, "I have some newsnow that I _must_ tell you, because it will make you believe meanother time though I know it will put you in a passion. "

"That's sweetly designed, at least!" said Mrs Delvile, laughing;"however, I'll trust you, for my passions will not, just now, beirritated by straws. "

"Why, ma'am, don't you remember I told you when you were in town thatMr Mortimer kept a mistress--"

"Yes!" cried Mrs Delvile, disdainfully, "and you may remember, LadyHonoria, I told you--"

"O, you would not believe a word of it! but it's all true, I assureyou! and now he has brought her down here; he sent for her about threeweeks ago, and he has boarded her at a cottage, about half a mile fromthe Park-gate. "

Cecilia, to whom Henrietta Belfield was instantly present, changedcolour repeatedly, and turned so extremely sick, she could withdifficulty keep her seat. She forced herself, however, to continue herwork, though she knew so little what she was about, that she put herneedle in and out of the same place without ceasing. 

Meanwhile Mrs Delvile, with a countenance of the utmost indignation, exclaimed, "Lady Honoria, if you think a tale of scandal such as thisreflects no disgrace upon its relater, you must pardon me forentreating you to find an auditor more of the same opinion thanmyself. "

"Nay, ma'am, since you are so angry, I'll tell you the whole affair, for this is but half of it. He has a child here, too, --I vow I long tosee it!--and he is so fond of it that he spends half his time innursing it;--and that, I suppose, is the thing that takes him out somuch; and I fancy, too, that's what has made him grow so grave, formay be he thinks it would not be pretty to be very frisky, now he's apapa. "

Not only Cecilia, but Mrs Delvile herself was now overpowered, and shesat for some time wholly silent and confounded; Lady Honoria then, turning to Cecilia exclaimed, "Bless me, Miss Beverley, what are youabout! why that flower is the most ridiculous thing I ever saw! youhave spoilt your whole work. "

Cecilia, in the utmost confusion, though pretending to laugh, thenbegan to unpick it; and Mrs Delvile, recovering, more calmly, thoughnot less angrily, said "And has this tale the honour of being inventedsolely by your ladyship, or had it any other assistant?"

"O no, I assure you, it's no invention of mine; I had it from verygood authority upon my word. But only look at Miss Beverley! would notone think I had said that she had a child herself? She looks as paleas death. My dear, I am sure you can't be well?"

"I beg your pardon, " cried Cecilia, forcing a smile, though extremelyprovoked with her; "I never was better. "

And then, with the hope of appearing unconcerned, she raised her head;but meeting the eyes of Mrs Delvile fixed upon her face with a look ofpenetrating observation, abashed and guilty, she again dropt it, andresumed her work. 

"Well, my dear, " said Lady Honoria, "I am sure there is no occasion tosend for Dr Lyster to _you_, for you recover yourself in amoment: you have the finest colour now I ever saw: has not she, MrsDelvile? did you ever see anybody blush so becomingly?"

"I wish, Lady Honoria, " said Mrs Delvile, with severity, "it werepossible to see you blush!"

"O but I never do! not but what it's pretty enough too; but I don'tknow how it is, it never happens. Now Euphrasia can blush from morningto night. I can't think how she contrives it. Miss Beverley, too, plays at it vastly well; she's red and white, and white and red half adozen times in a minute. Especially, " looking at her archly, andlowering her voice, "if you talk to her of Mortimer!"

"No, indeed! no such thing!" cried Cecilia with some resentment, andagain looking up; but glancing her eyes towards Mrs Delvile, and againmeeting hers, filled with the strongest expression of enquiringsolicitude, unable to sustain their inquisition, and shocked to findherself thus watchfully observed, she returned in hasty confusion toher employment. 

"Well, my dear, " cried Lady Honoria, again, "but what are you aboutnow? do you intend to unpick the whole screen?"

"How can she tell what she is doing, " said Mrs Delvile, withquickness, "if you torment her thus incessantly? I will take you awayfrom her, that she may have a little peace. You shall do me the honourto attend my toilette, and acquaint me with some further particularsof this extraordinary discovery. "

Mrs Delvile then left the room, but Lady Honoria, before she followedher, said in a low voice "Pity me, Miss Beverley, if you have theleast good-nature! I am now going to hear a lecture of two hourslong!"

Cecilia, left to herself was in a perturbation almost insupportable:Delvile's mysterious conduct seemed the result of some entanglement ofvice; Henrietta Belfield, the artless Henrietta Belfield, she fearedhad been abused, and her own ill-fated partiality, which now more thanever she wished unknown even to herself, was evidently betrayed wheremost the dignity of her mind made her desire it to be concealed!

In this state of shame, regret and resentment, which made her forgetto change her dress, or her place, she was suddenly surprised byDelvile. 

Starting and colouring, she busied herself with collecting her work, that she might hurry out of the room. Delvile, though silent himself, endeavoured to assist her; but when she would have gone, he attemptedto stop her, saying "Miss Beverley, for three minutes only. "

"No, sir, " cried she, indignantly, "not for an instant!" and leavinghim utterly astonished, she hastened to her own apartment. 

She was then sorry she had been so precipitate; nothing had beenclearly proved against him; no authority was so likely to befallacious as that of Lady Honoria; neither was he under anyengagement to herself that could give her any right to manifest suchdispleasure. These reflections, however, came too late, and the quickfeelings of her agitated mind were too rapid to wait the dictates ofcool reason. At dinner she attended wholly to Lord Ernolf, whoseassiduous politeness, profiting by the humour, saved her the painfuleffort of forcing conversation, or the guilty consciousness of givingway to silence, and enabled her to preserve her general tenor betweentaciturnity and loquaciousness. Mrs Delvile she did not once dare lookat; but her son, she saw, seemed greatly hurt; yet it was proudly, notsorrowfully, and therefore she saw it with less uneasiness. 

During the rest of the day, which was passed in general society, MrsDelvile, though much occupied, frequently leaving the room, andsending for Lady Honoria, was more soft, kind and gentle with Ceciliathan ever, looking at her with the utmost tenderness, often taking herhand, and speaking to her with even unusual sweetness. Cecilia withmingled sadness and pleasure observed this encreasing regard, whichshe could not but attribute to the discovery made through LadyHonoria's mischievous intelligence, and which, while it rejoiced herwith the belief of her approbation, added fresh force to her regret inconsidering it was fruitless. Delvile, mean-time, evidently offendedhimself, conversed only with the gentlemen, and went very early intohis own room. 

When they were all retiring, Mrs Delvile, following Cecilia, dismissedher maid to talk with her alone. 

"I am not, I hope, often, " she cried, "solicitous or importunate tospeak about my son: his character, I believe, wants no vindication;clear and unsullied, it has always been its own support: yet theaspersion cast upon it this morning by Lady Honoria, I think myselfbound to explain, not partially as his mother, but simply as hisfriend. "

Cecilia, who knew not whither such an explanation might lead, norwherefore it was made, heard this opening with much emotion, but gaveneither to that nor to what followed any interruption. 

Mrs Delvile then continued: she had taken the trouble, she said, tosift the whole affair, in order to shame Lady Honoria by a pointedconviction of what she had invented, and to trace from the foundationthe circumstances whence her surmises or report had sprung. 

Delvile, it seems, about a fortnight before the present time, in oneof his morning walks, had observed a gipsey sitting by the side of thehigh road, who seemed extremely ill, and who had a very beautifulchild tied to her back. 

Struck with the baby, he stopt to enquire to whom it belonged; toherself, she said, and begged his charity with the most pitiable criesof distress; telling him that she was travelling to join some of herfraternity, who were in a body near Bath, but was so ill with an agueand fever that she feared she should die on the road. 

Delvile desired her to go to the next cottage, and promised to pay forher board there till she was better. He then spoke to the man and hiswife who owned it to take them in, who, glad to oblige his Honour, instantly consented, and he had since called twice to see in whatmanner they went on. 

"How simple, " continued Mrs Delvile, "is a matter of fact in itself, and how complex when embellished! This tale has been told by thecottagers to our servants; it has travelled, probably gainingsomething from every mouth, to Lady Honoria's maid, and, havingreached her ladyship, was swelled in a moment into all we heard! Ithink, however, that, for some time at least, her levity will berather less daring. I have not, in this affair, at all spared her; Imade her hear from Mortimer himself the little story as it happened; Ithen carried her to the cottage, where we had the whole matterconfirmed; and I afterwards insisted upon being told myself by hermaid all she had related to her lady, that she might thus beunanswerably convicted of inventing whatever she omitted. I haveoccasioned her some confusion, and, for the moment, a littleresentment; but she is so volatile that neither will last; and though, with regard to my own family, I may perhaps have rendered her morecautious, I fear, with regard to the world in general, she is utterlyincorrigible, because it has neither pleasure nor advantage to offer, that can compensate for the deprivation of relating one staring story, or ridiculous anecdote. "

And then, wishing her good night, she added, "I make not any apologyfor this detail, which you owe, not, believe me, to a mother's folly, but, if I [know] myself at all, to a love of truth and justice. Mortimer, independent of all connection with me, cannot but to everybody appear of a character which may be deemed even exemplary;calumny, therefore, falling upon such a subject, injures not onlyhimself but society, since it weakens all confidence in virtue, andstrengthens the scepticism of depravity. "

She then left her. 

"Ah!" thought Cecilia, "to me, at least, this solicitude for his fameneeds no apology! humane and generous Delvile! never, again, will I amoment doubt your worthiness!" And then, cherishing that darling idea, she forgot all her cares and apprehensions, her quarrel, hersuspicions, and the approaching separation, and, recompensed for everything by this refutation of his guilt, she hastened to bed, andcomposed herself to rest. 

CHAPTER viii. 

A CONFERENCE. 

Early the next morning Cecilia had a visit from Lady Honoria, who cameto tell her story her own way, and laugh at the anxiety of MrsDelvile, and the trouble she had taken; "for, after all, " continuedshe, "what did the whole matter signify? and how could I possibly helpthe mistake? when I heard of his paying for a woman's board, what wasso natural as to suppose she must be his mistress? especially as therewas a child in the case. O how I wish you had been with us! you neversaw such a ridiculous sight in your life; away we went in the chaisefull drive to the cottage, frightening all the people almost intofits; out came the poor woman, away ran the poor man, --both of themthought the end of the world at hand! The gipsey was best off, for shewent to her old business, and began begging. I assure you, I believeshe would be very pretty if she was not so ill, and so I dare sayMortimer thought too, or I fancy he would not have taken such care ofher. "

"Fie, fie, Lady Honoria! will nothing bring conviction to you?"

"Nay, you know, there's no harm in that, for why should not prettypeople live as well as ugly ones? There's no occasion to leave nothingin the world but frights. I looked hard at the baby, to see if it waslike Mortimer, but I could not make it out; those young things arelike nothing. I tried if it would talk, for I wanted sadly to make itcall Mrs Delvile grandmama; however, the little urchin could saynothing to be understood. O what a rage would Mrs Delvile have beenin! I suppose this whole castle would hardly have been thought heavyenough to crush such an insolent brat, though it were to have fallenupon it all at a blow!"

Thus rattled this light-hearted lady till the family was assembled tobreakfast; and then Cecilia, softened towards Delvile by newly-excitedadmiration, as well as by the absence which would separate them thefollowing day, intended, by every little courteous office in herpower, to make her peace with him before his departure: but sheobserved, with much chagrin, that Mrs Delvile never ceased to watchher, which, added to an air of pride in the coldness of Delvile, thathe had never before assumed, discouraged her from making the attempt, and compelled her to seem quiet and unconcerned. 

As soon as breakfast was over, the gentlemen all rode or walked out;and when the ladies were by themselves, Lady Honoria suddenlyexclaimed, "Mrs Delvile, I can't imagine for what reason you send MrMortimer to Bristol. "

"For a reason, Lady Honoria, that with all your wildness, I should bevery sorry you should know better by experience. "

"Why then, ma'am; had we not better make a party, and all go? MissBeverley, should you like to join it? I am afraid it would be vastlydisagreeable to you. "

Cecilia, now again was _red and white, and white and red a dozentimes in a minute_; and Mrs Delvile, rising and taking her hand, expressively said, "Miss Beverley, you have a thousand times too muchsensibility for this mad-cap of a companion. I believe I shall punishher by taking you away from her all this morning; will you come andsit with me in the dressing-room?"

Cecilia assented without daring to look at her, and followed intrembling, up stairs. Something of importance, she fancied, wouldensue, her secret she saw was revealed, and therefore she could formno conjecture but that Delvile would be the subject of their discourseyet whether to explain his behaviour, or plead his cause, whether toexpress her separate approbation, or communicate some intelligencefrom himself, she had neither time, opportunity nor clue to unravel. All that was undoubted seemed the affection of Mrs Delvile, all that, on her own part, could be resolved, was to suppress her partialitytill she knew if it might properly be, avowed. 

Mrs Delvile, who saw her perturbation, led immediately to subjects ofindifference, and talked upon them so long, and with so much ease, that Cecilia, recovering her composure, began to think she had beenmistaken, and that nothing was intended but a tranquil conversation. 

As soon, however, as she had quieted her apprehensions, she sat silentherself, with a look that Cecilia easily construed into thoughtfulperplexity in what manner she should introduce what she meant tocommunicate. 

This pause was succeeded by her speaking of Lady Honoria; "how wild, how careless, how incorrigible she is! she lost her mother early; andthe Duke, who idolizes her, and who, marrying very late, is already anold man, she rules entirely; with him, and a supple governess, who hasneither courage to oppose her, nor heart to wish well but to her owninterest, she has lived almost wholly. Lately, indeed, she has comemore into the world, but without even a desire of improvement, andwith no view and no thought but to gratify her idle humour by laughingat whatever goes forward. "

"She certainly neither wants parts nor discernment, " said Cecilia;"and, when my mind is not occupied by other matters, I find herconversation entertaining and agreeable. "

"Yes, " said Mrs Delvile, "but that light sort of wit which attacks, with equal alacrity, what is serious or what is gay, is twenty timesoffensive, to once that it is exhilarating; since it shews that whileits only aim is self-diversion, it has the most insolent negligencewith respect to any pain it gives to others. The rank of Lady Honoria, though it has not rendered her proud, nor even made her conscious shehas any dignity to support, has yet given her a saucy indifferencewhom she pleases or hurts, that borders upon what in a woman is of allthings the most odious, a daring defiance of the world and itsopinions. "

Cecilia, never less disposed to enter upon her defence, made butlittle answer; and, soon after, Mrs Delvile added, "I heartily wishshe were properly established; and yet, according to the perniciousmanners and maxims of the present age, she is perhaps more secure frommisconduct while single, than she will be when married. Her father, Ifear, will leave her too much to herself, and in that case I scarceknow what may become of her; she has neither judgment nor principle todirect her choice, and therefore, in all probability, the same whimwhich one day will guide it, will the next lead her to repent it. "

Again they were both silent; and then Mrs Delvile, gravely, yet withenergy exclaimed, "How few are there, how very few, who marry at onceupon principles rational, and feelings pleasant! interest andinclination are eternally at strife, and where either is whollysacrificed, the other is inadequate to happiness. Yet how rarely dothey divide the attention! the young are rash, and the aged aremercenary; their deliberations are never in concert, their views arescarce ever blended; one vanquishes, and the other submits; neitherparty temporizes, and commonly each is unhappy. "

"The time, " she continued, "is now arrived when reflections of thissort cannot too seriously occupy me; the errors I have observed inothers, I would fain avoid committing; yet such is the blindness ofself-love, that perhaps, even at the moment I censure them, I amfalling, without consciousness, into the same! nothing, however, shallthrough negligence be wrong; for where is the son who merits care andattention, if Mortimer from his parents deserves not to meet them?"

The expectations of Cecilia were now again awakened, and awakened withfresh terrors lest Mrs Delvile, from compassion, meant to offer herservices; vigorously, therefore, she determined to exert herself, andrather give up Mortimer and all thoughts of him for ever, than submitto receive assistance in persuading him to the union. 

"Mr Delvile, " she continued, "is most earnest and impatient that somealliance should take place without further delay; and for myself, could I see him with propriety and with happiness disposed of, what aweight of anxiety would be removed from my heart!"

Cecilia now made an effort to speak, attempting to say "Certainly, itis a matter of great consequence;" but so low was her voice, and soconfused her manner, that Mrs Delvile, though attentively listening, heard not a word. She forbore, however, to make her repeat what shesaid, and went on herself as if speaking in answer. 

"Not only his own, but the peace of his whole family will depend uponhis election, since he is the last of his race. This castle andestate, and another in the north, were entailed upon him by the lateLord Delvile, his grandfather, who, disobliged by his eldest son, thepresent lord, left every thing he had power to dispose of to hissecond son, Mr Delvile, and at his death, to his grandson, Mortimer. And even the present lord, though always at variance with his brother, is fond of his nephew, and has declared him his heir. I, also, haveone sister, who is rich, who has no children, and who has made thesame declaration. Yet though with such high expectations, he must notconnect himself imprudently; for his paternal estate wants repair, andhe is well entitled with a wife to expect what it requires. "

Most true! thought Cecilia, yet ashamed of her recent failure, sheapplied herself to her work, and would not again try to speak. 

"He is amiable, accomplished, well educated, and well born; far may welook, and not meet with his equal; no woman need disdain, and fewwomen would refuse him. "

Cecilia blushed her concurrence; yet could well at that moment havespared hearing the eulogy. 

"Yet how difficult, " she continued, "to find a proper alliance! thereare many who have some recommendations, but who is there whollyunexceptionable?"

This question seemed unanswerable; nor could Cecilia devise what itmeant. 

"Girls of high family have but seldom large fortunes, since the headsof their house commonly require their whole wealth for the support oftheir own dignity; while on the other hand, girls of large fortune arefrequently ignorant, insolent, or low born; kept up by their friendslest they should fall a prey to adventurers, they have no acquaintancewith the world, and little enlargement from education; theirinstructions are limited to a few merely youthful accomplishments; thefirst notion they imbibe is of their own importance, the first lessonthey are taught is the value of riches, and even from their cradles, their little minds are narrowed, and their self-sufficiency isexcited, by cautions to beware of fortune-hunters, and assurances thatthe whole world will be at their feet. Among such should we seek acompanion for Mortimer? surely not. Formed for domestic happiness, anddelighting in elegant society, his mind would disdain an alliance inwhich its affections had no share. "

Cecilia colouring and trembling, thought now the moment of her trialwas approaching, and half mortified and half frightened preparedherself to sustain it with firmness. 

"I venture, therefore, my dear Miss Beverley, to speak to you uponthis subject as a friend who will have patience to hear myperplexities; you see upon what they hang, --where the birth is such asMortimer Delvile may claim, the fortune generally fails; and where thefortune is adequate to his expectations, the birth yet more frequentlywould disgrace us. "

Cecilia, astonished by this speech, and quite off her guard frommomentary surprize, involuntarily raised her head to look at MrsDelvile, in whose countenance she observed the most anxious concern, though her manner of speaking had seemed placid and composed. 

"Once, " she continued, without appearing to remark the emotion of herauditor, "Mr Delvile thought of uniting him with his cousin LadyHonoria; but he never could endure the proposal; and who shall blamehis repugnance? her sister, indeed, Lady Euphrasia, is muchpreferable, her education has been better, and her fortune is muchmore considerable. At present, however, Mortimer seems greatly averseto her, and who has a right to be difficult, if we deny it to him?"

Wonder, uncertainty, expectation and suspence now all attackedCecilia, and all harassed her with redoubled violence; why she wascalled to this conference she knew not; the approbation she hadthought so certain, she doubted, and the proposal of assistance shehad apprehended, she ceased to think would be offered some fearfulmystery, some cruel obscurity, still clouded all her prospects, andnot merely obstructed her view of the future, but made what wasimmediately before her gloomy and indistinct. 

The state of her mind seemed read by Mrs Delvile, who examined herwith eyes of such penetrating keenness, that they rather madediscoveries than enquiries. She was silent some time, and lookedirresolute how to proceed; but at length, she arose, and takingCecilia by the hand, who almost drew it back from her dread of whatwould follow, she said "I will torment you no more, my sweet youngfriend, with perplexities which you cannot relieve: this only I willsay, and then drop the subject for ever; when my solicitude forMortimer is removed, and he is established to the satisfaction of usall, no care will remain in the heart of his mother, half so fervent, so anxious and so sincere as the disposal of my amiable Cecilia, forwhose welfare and happiness my wishes are even maternal. "

She then kissed her glowing cheek, and perceiving her almost stupifiedwith astonishment, spared her any effort to speak, by hastily leavingher in possession of her room. 

Undeceived in her expectations and chilled in her hopes, the heart ofCecilia no longer struggled to sustain its dignity, or conceal itstenderness; the conflict was at an end, Mrs Delvile had been open, though her son was mysterious; but, in removing her doubts, she hadbereft her of her peace. She now found her own mistake in buildingupon her approbation; she saw nothing was less in her intentions, andthat even when most ardent in affectionate regard, she separated herinterest from that of her son as if their union was a matter of utterimpossibility. "Yet why, " cried Cecilia, "oh why is it deemed so! thatshe loves me, she is ever eager to proclaim, that my fortune would be, peculiarly useful, she makes not a secret, and that I, at least, should start no insuperable objections, she has, alas! but tooobviously discovered! Has she doubts of her son?--no, she has too muchdiscernment; the father, then, the haughty, impracticable father, hasdestined him for some woman of rank, and will listen to no otheralliance. "

This notion somewhat soothed her in the disappointment she suffered;yet to know herself betrayed to Mrs Delvile, and to see no otherconsequence ensue but that of exciting a tender compassion, which ledher to discourage, from benevolence, hopes too high to be indulged, was a mortification so severe, that it caused her a deeper depressionof spirits than any occurrence of her life had yet occasioned. 

"What Henrietta Belfield is to me, " she cried, "I am to Mrs Delvile! butwhat in her is amiable and artless, in me is disgraceful and unworthy. And this is the situation which so long I have desired! This is thechange of habitation which I thought would make me so happy! oh whocan chuse, who can judge for himself? who can point out the road tohis own felicity, or decide upon the spot where his peace will beensured!"

Still, however, she had something to do, some spirit to exert, and somefortitude to manifest: Mortimer, she was certain, suspected not his ownpower; his mother, she knew, was both too good and too wise to reveal itto him, and she determined, by caution and firmness upon his leave-taking and departure, to retrieve, if possible, that credit with MrsDelvile, which she feared her betrayed susceptibility had weakened. 

As soon, therefore, as she recovered from her consternation, shequitted Mrs Delvile's apartment, and seeking Lady Honoria herself, determined not to spend even a moment alone, till Mortimer was gone;lest the sadness of her reflections should overpower her resolution, and give a melancholy to her air and manner which he might attribute, with but too much justice, to concern upon his own account. 

CHAPTER ix. 

AN ATTACK. 

At dinner, with the assistance of Lord Ernolf, who was most happy togive it, Cecilia seemed tolerably easy. Lord Derford, too, encouragedby his father, endeavoured to engage some share of her attention; buthe totally failed; her mind was superior to little arts of coquetry, and her pride had too much dignity to evaporate in pique; shedetermined, therefore, at this time, as at all others, to beconsistent in shewing him he had no chance of her favour. 

At tea, when they were again assembled, Mortimer's journey was theonly subject of discourse, and it was agreed that he should set outvery early in the morning, and, as the weather was extremely hot, nottravel at all in the middle of the day. 

Lady Honoria then, in a whisper to Cecilia, said, "I suppose, MissBeverley, you will rise with the lark to-morrow morning? for yourhealth, I mean. Early rising, you know, is vastly good for you. "

Cecilia, affecting not to understand her, said she should rise, shesupposed, at her usual time. 

"I'll tell Mortimer, however, " returned her ladyship, "to look up atyour window before he goes off; for if he will play Romeo, you, I daresay, will play Juliet, and this old castle is quite the thing for themusty family of the Capulets: I dare say Shakespeare thought of itwhen he wrote of them. "

"Say to him what you please for yourself, " cried Cecilia, "but let meentreat you to say nothing for me. "

"And my Lord Derford, " continued she, "will make an excessive prettyParis, for he is vastly in love, though he has got nothing to say; butwhat shall we do for a Mercutio? we may find five hundred whiningRomeos to one gay and charming Mercutio. Besides, Mrs Delvile, to doher justice, is really too good for the old Nurse, though Mr Delvilehimself may serve for all the Capulets and all the Montagues at once, for he has pride enough for both their houses, and twenty morebesides. By the way, if I don't take care, I shall have this Romeo runaway before I have made my little dainty country Paris pick a quarrelwith him. "

She then walked up to one of the windows, and motioning Lord Derfordto follow her, Cecilia heard her say to him, "Well, my lord, have youwrit your letter? and have you sent it? Miss Beverley, I assure you, will be charmed beyond measure by such a piece of gallantry. "

"No, ma'am, " answered the simple young lord, "I have not sent it yet, for I have only writ a foul copy. "

"O my lord, " cried she, "that is the very thing you ought to send! afoul copy of a challenge is always better than a fair one, for itlooks written with more agitation. I am vastly glad you mentionedthat. "

Cecilia then, rising and joining them, said, "What mischief is LadyHonoria about now? we must all be upon our guards, my lord, for shehas a spirit of diversion that will not spare us. "

"Pray why do you interfere?" cried Lady Honoria, and then, in a lowervoice, she added, "what do you apprehend? do you suppose Mortimercannot manage such a poor little ideot as this?"

"I don't suppose any thing about the matter!"

"Well, then, don't interrupt my operations. Lord Derford, MissBeverley has been whispering me, that if you put this scheme inexecution, she shall find you, ever after, irresistible. "

"Lord Derford, I hope, " said Cecilia, laughing, is too well acquaintedwith your ladyship to be in any danger of credulity. "

"Vastly well!" cried she, "I see you are determined to provoke me, soif you spoil my schemes, I will spoil yours, and tell a certaingentleman your tender terrors for his safety. "

Cecilia now, extremely alarmed, most earnestly entreated her to bequiet; but the discovery of her fright only excited her ladyship'slaughter, and, with a look the most mischievously wicked, she calledout "Pray Mr Mortimer, come hither!"

Mortimer instantly obeyed; and Cecilia at the same moment would withpleasure have endured almost any punishment to have been twenty milesoff. 

"I have something, " continued her ladyship, "of the utmost consequenceto communicate to you. We have been settling an admirable plan foryou; will you promise to be guided by us if I tell it you?"

"O certainly!" cried he; "to doubt that would disgrace us all round. "

"Well, then, --Miss Beverley, have you any objection to my proceeding?""None at all!" answered Cecilia, who had the understanding to knowthat the greatest excitement to ridicule is opposition. 

"Well, then, I must tell you, " she continued, "it is the advice of usall, that as soon as you come to the possession of your estate, youmake some capital alterations in this antient castle. "

Cecilia, greatly relieved, could with gratitude have embraced her: andMortimer, very certain that such rattle was all her own, promised theutmost submission to her orders, and begged her further directions, declaring that he could not, at least, desire a fairer architect. 

"What we mean, " said she, "may be effected with the utmost ease; it isonly to take out these old windows, and fix some thick iron grates intheir place, and so turn the castle into a gaol for the county. "

Mortimer laughed heartily at this proposition; but his father, unfortunately hearing it, sternly advanced, and with great austeritysaid, "If I thought my son capable of putting such an insult upon hisancestors, whatever may be the value I feel for him, I would banishhim my presence for ever. "

"Dear Sir, " cried Lady Honoria, "how would his ancestors ever knowit?"

"How?--why--that is a very extraordinary question, Lady Honoria!"

"Besides, Sir, I dare say the sheriff, or the mayor and corporation, or some of those sort of people, would give him money enough, for theuse of it, to run him up a mighty pretty neat little box somewherenear Richmond. "

"A box!" exclaimed he indignantly; "a neat little box for the heir ofan estate such as this!"

"I only mean, " cried she, giddily, "that he might have some place alittle more pleasant to live in, for really that old moat and draw-bridgeare enough to vapour him to death; I cannot for my life imagineany use they are of: unless, indeed, to frighten away the deer, fornothing else offer to come over. But, if you were to turn the houseinto a gaol--"

"A gaol?" cried Mr Delvile, still more angrily, "your ladyship mustpardon me if I entreat you not to mention that word again when you arepleased to speak of Delvile Castle. "

"Dear Sir, why not?"

"Because it is a term that, in itself, from a young lady, has a soundpeculiarly improper; and which, applied to any gentleman's antientfamily seat, --a thing, Lady Honoria, always respectable, howeverlightly spoken of!--has an effect the least agreeable that can bedevised: for it implies an idea either that the family, or themansion, is going into decay. "

"Well, Sir, you know, with regard to the mansion, it is certainly verytrue, for all that other side, by the old tower, looks as if it wouldfall upon one's head every time one is forced to pass it. "

"I protest, Lady Honoria, " said Mr Delvile, "that old tower, of whichyou are pleased to speak so slightingly, is the most honourabletestimony to the antiquity of the castle of any now remaining, and Iwould not part with it for all the new boxes, as you style them, inthe kingdom. "

"I am sure I am very glad of it, Sir, for I dare say nobody would giveeven one of them for it. "

"Pardon me, Lady Honoria, you are greatly mistaken; they would give athousand; such a thing, belonging to a man from his own ancestors, isinvaluable. "

"Why, dear Sir, what in the world could they do with it? unless, indeed, they were to let some man paint it for an opera scene. "

"A worthy use indeed!" cried Mr Delvile, more and more affronted: "andpray does your ladyship talk thus to my Lord Duke?"

"O yes; and he never minds it at all. "

"It were strange if he did!" cried Mrs Delvile; "my only astonishmentis that anybody can be found who _does_ mind it. "

"Why now, Mrs Delvile, " she answered, "pray be sincere; can youpossibly think this Gothic ugly old place at all comparable to any ofthe new villas about town?"

"Gothic ugly old place!" repeated Mr Delvile, in utter amazement ather dauntless flightiness; "your ladyship really does my humbledwelling too much honour!"

"Lord, I beg a thousand pardons!" cried she, "I really did not thinkof what I was saying. Come, dear Miss Beverley, and walk out with me, for I am too much shocked to stay a moment longer. "

And then, taking Cecilia by the arm, she hurried her into the park, through a door which led thither from the parlour. 

"For heaven's sake, Lady Honoria, " said Cecilia, "could you find nobetter entertainment for Mr Delvile than ridiculing his own house?"

"O, " cried she, laughing, "did you never hear us quarrel before? whywhen I was here last summer, I used to affront him ten times a day. "

"And was that a regular ceremony?"

"No, really, I did not do it purposely; but it so happened; either bytalking of the castle, or the tower, or the draw-bridge, or thefortifications; or wishing they were all employed to fill up thatodious moat; or something of that sort; for you know a small matterwill put him out of humour. "

"And do you call it so small a matter to wish a man's whole habitationannihilated?"

"Lord, I don't wish anything about it! I only say so to provoke him. "

"And what strange pleasure can that give you?"

"O the greatest in the world! I take much delight in seeing anybody ina passion. It makes them look so excessively ugly!"

"And is that the way you like every body should look, Lady Honoria?"

"O my dear, if you mean _me_, I never was in a passion twice inmy life: for as soon as ever I have provoked the people, I always runaway. But sometimes I am in a dreadful fright lest they should see melaugh, for they make such horrid grimaces it is hardly possible tolook at them. When my father has been angry with me, I have sometimesbeen obliged to pretend I was crying, by way of excuse for putting myhandkerchief to my face: for really he looks so excessively hideous, you would suppose he was making mouths, like the children, merely tofrighten one. "

"Amazing!" exclaimed Cecilia, "your ladyship can, indeed, never wantdiversion, to find it in the anger of your father. But does it giveyou no other sensation? are you not afraid?"

"O never! O what can he do to me, you know? he can only storm alittle, and swear a little, for he always swears when he is angry; andperhaps order me to my own room; and ten to one but that happens to bethe very thing I want; for we never quarrel but when we are alone, andthen it's so dull, I am always wishing to run away. "

"And can you take no other method of leaving him?"

"Why I think none so easily: and it can do him no harm, you know; Ioften tell him, when we make friends, that if it were not for apostilion and his daughter, he would be quite out of practice inscolding and swearing: for whenever he is upon the road he doesnothing else: though why he is in such a hurry, nobody can divine, forgo whither he will he has nothing to do. "

Thus ran on this flighty lady, happy in high animal spirits, andcareless who was otherwise, till, at some distance, they perceivedLord Derford, who was approaching to join them. 

"Miss Beverley, " cried she, "here comes your adorer: I shall thereforeonly walk on till we arrive at that large oak, and then make himprostrate himself at your feet, and leave you together. "

"Your ladyship is extremely good! but I am glad to be apprized of yourintention, as it will enable me to save you that trouble. "

She then turned quick back, and passing Lord Derford, who still walkedon towards Lady Honoria, she returned to the house; but, upon enteringthe parlour, found all the company dispersed, Delvile alone excepted, who was walking about the room, with his tablets in his hand, in whichhe had been writing. 

From a mixture of shame and surprize, Cecilia, at the sight of him, was involuntarily retreating; but, hastening to the door, he calledout in a reproachful tone, "Will you not even enter the same room withme?"

"O yes, " cried she, returning; "I was only afraid I disturbed you. "

"No, madam, " answered he, gravely; "you are the only person who could_not_ disturb me, since my employment was making memorandums fora letter to yourself: with which, however, I did not desire toimportune you, but that you have denied me the honour of even a fiveminutes' audience. "

Cecilia, in the utmost confusion at this attack, knew not whether tostand still or proceed; but, as he presently continued his speech, shefound she had no choice but to stay. 

"I should be sorry to quit this place, especially as the length of myabsence is extremely uncertain, while I have the unhappiness to beunder your displeasure, without making some little attempt toapologize for the behaviour which incurred it. Must I, then, finish myletter, or will you at last deign to hear me?"

"My displeasure, Sir, " said Cecilia, "died with its occasion; I beg, therefore, that it may rest no longer in your remembrance. "

"I meant not, madam, to infer, that the subject or indeed that theobject merited your deliberate attention; I simply wish to explainwhat may have appeared mysterious in my conduct, and for what may haveseemed still more censurable, to beg your pardon. "

Cecilia now, recovered from her first apprehensions, and calmed, because piqued, by the calmness with which he spoke himself, made noopposition to his request, but suffering him to shut both the doorleading into the garden, and that which led into the hall, she seatedherself at one of the windows, determined to listen with intrepidityto this long expected explanation. 

The preparations, however, which he made to obviate being overheard, added to the steadiness with which Cecilia waited his furtherproceedings, soon robbed him of the courage with which he began theassault, and evidently gave him a wish of retreating himself. 

At length, after much hesitation, he said "This indulgence, madam, deserves my most grateful acknowledgments; it is, indeed, what I hadlittle right, and still less reason, after the severity I have metwith from you, to expect. "

And here, at the very mention of severity, his courage, called upon byhis pride, instantly returned, and he went on with the same spirit hehad begun. 

"That severity, however, I mean not to lament; on the contrary, in asituation such as mine, it was perhaps the first blessing I couldreceive: I have found from it, indeed, more advantage and relief thanfrom all that philosophy, reflection or fortitude could offer. It hasshewn me the vanity of bewailing the barrier, placed by fate to mywishes, since it has shewn me that another, less inevitable, butequally insuperable, would have opposed them. I have determined, therefore, after a struggle I must confess the most painful, to denymyself the dangerous solace of your society, and endeavour, by joiningdissipation to reason, to forget the too great pleasure which hithertoit has afforded me. "

"Easy, Sir, " cried Cecilia, "will be your task: I can only wish there-establishment of your health may be found no more difficult. "

"Ah, madam, " cried he, with a reproachful smile, "_he jests at scarswho never felt a wound!_--but this is a strain in which I have noright to talk, and I will neither offend your delicacy, nor my ownintegrity, by endeavouring to work upon the generosity of yourdisposition in order to excite your compassion. Not such was themotive with which I begged this audience; but merely a desire, beforeI tear myself away, to open to you my heart, without palliation orreserve. "

He paused a few moments; and Cecilia finding her suspicions just thatthis interview was meant to be final, considered that her trial, however severe, would be short, and called forth all her resolution tosustain it with spirit. 

"Long before I had the honour of your acquaintance, " he continued, "your character and your accomplishments were known to me: Mr Biddulphof Suffolk, who was my first friend at Oxford, and with whom myintimacy is still undiminished, was early sensible of yourexcellencies: we corresponded, and his letters were filled with yourpraises. He confessed to me, that his admiration had beenunfortunate:--alas! I might now make the same confession to him!"

Mr Biddulph, among many of the neighbouring gentlemen, had madeproposals to the Dean for Cecilia, which, at her desire, wererejected. 

"When Mr Harrel saw masks in Portman-square, my curiosity to behold alady so adored, and so cruel, led me thither; your dress made youeasily distinguished. --Ah Miss Beverley! I venture not to mentionwhat I then felt for my friend! I will only say that something which Ifelt for myself, warned me instantly to avoid you, since the clause inyour uncle's will was already well known to me. "

Now, then, at last, thought Cecilia, all perplexity is over!--thechange of name is the obstacle; he inherits all the pride of hisfamily, --and therefore to that family will I unrepining leave him!

"This warning, " he continued, "I should not have disregarded, had Inot, at the Opera, been deceived into a belief you were engaged; Ithen wished no longer to shun you; bound in honour to forbear allefforts at supplanting a man, to whom I thought you almost united, Iconsidered you already as married, and eagerly as I sought yoursociety, I sought it not with more pleasure than innocence. Yet eventhen, to be candid, I found in myself a restlessness about youraffairs that kept me in eternal perturbation: but I flattered myselfit was mere curiosity, and only excited by the perpetual change ofopinion to which occasion gave rise, concerning which was the happyman. "

"I am sorry, " said Cecilia, coolly, "there was any such mistake. "

"I will not, madam, fatigue you, " he returned, "by tracing theprogress of my unfortunate admiration; will endeavour to be morebrief, for I see you are already wearied. " He stopt a moment, hopingfor some little encouragement; but Cecilia, in no humour to give it, assumed an air of unconcern, and sat wholly quiet. 

"I knew not, " he then went on, with a look of extreme mortification, "the warmth with which I honoured your virtues, till you deigned toplead to me for Mr Belfield, --but let me not recollect the feelings ofthat moment!--yet were they nothing, --cold, languid, lifeless to whatI afterwards experienced, when you undeceived me finally with respectto your situation, and informed me the report concerning Sir RobertFloyer was equally erroneous with that which concerned Belfield! Owhat was the agitation of my whole soul at that instant!--to know youdisengaged, --to see you before me, --by the disorder of my whole frameto discover the mistake I had cherished--"

Cecilia then, half rising, yet again seating herself, looked extremelyimpatient to be gone. 

"Pardon me, madam, " he cried; "I will have done, and trace my feelingsand my sufferings no longer, but hasten, for my own sake as well asyours, to the reason why I have spoken at all. From the hour that myill-destined passion was fully known to myself, I weighed all theconsequences of indulging it, and found, added to the extreme hazardof success, an impropriety even in the attempt. My honour in thehonour of my family is bound; what to that would seem wrong, in mewould be unjustifiable: yet where inducements so numerous were opposedby one single objection!--where virtue, beauty, education and familywere all unexceptionable, --Oh cruel clause! barbarous and repulsiveclause! that forbids my aspiring to the first of women, but by anaction that with my own family would degrade me for ever!"

He stopt, overpowered by his own emotion, and Cecilia arose. "I see, madam, " he cried, "your eagerness to be gone, and however at thismoment I may lament it, I shall recollect it hereafter with advantage. But to conclude: I determined to avoid you, and, by avoiding, toendeavour to forget you: I determined, also, that no human being, andyourself least of all, should know, should even suspect the situationof my mind: and though upon various occasions, my prudence andforbearance have suddenly yielded to surprise and to passion, thesurrender has been short, and almost, I believe, unnoticed. 

"This silence and this avoidance I sustained with decent constancy, till during the storm, in an ill-fated moment, I saw, or thought I sawyou in some danger, and then, all caution off guard, all resolutionsurprised, every passion awake, and tenderness triumphant--"

"Why, Sir, " cried Cecilia, angrily, "and for what purpose all this?"

"Alas, I know not!" said he, with a deep sigh, "I thought myselfbetter qualified for this conference, and meant to be firm andconcise. I have told my story ill, but as your own understanding willpoint out the cause, your own benevolence will perhaps urge someexcuse. 

"Too certain, since that unfortunate accident, that all disguise wasvain, and convinced by your displeasure of the impropriety of which Ihad been guilty, I determined, as the only apology I could offer, toopen to you my whole heart, and then fly you perhaps for ever. 

"This, madam, incoherently indeed, yet with sincerity, I have nowdone: my sufferings and my conflicts I do not mention, for I dare not!O were I to paint to you the bitter struggles of a mind all at warwith itself, --Duty, spirit, and fortitude, combating love, happinessand inclination, --each conquering alternately, and alternately eachvanquished, --I could endure it no longer, I resolved by one effort tofinish the strife, and to undergo an instant of even exquisitetorture, in preference to a continuance of such lingering misery!"

"The restoration of your health, Sir, and since you fancy it has beeninjured, of your happiness, " said Cecilia, "will, I hope, be asspeedy, as I doubt not they are certain. "

"_Since I fancy it has been injured!_" repeated he; "what aphrase, after an avowal such as mine! But why should I wish toconvince you of my sincerity, when to you it cannot be moreindifferent, than to myself it is unfortunate! I have now only toentreat your pardon for the robbery I have committed upon your time, and to repeat my acknowledgments that you have endeavoured to hear mewith patience. "

"If you honour me, Sir, with some portion of your esteem, " said theoffended Cecilia, "these acknowledgments, perhaps, should be mine;suppose them, however made, for I have a letter to write, and cantherefore stay no longer. "

"Nor do I presume, madam, " cried he proudly, "to detain you: hithertoyou may frequently have thought me mysterious, sometimes strange andcapricious, and perhaps almost always, unmeaning; to clear myself fromthese imputations, by a candid confession of the motives which havegoverned me, is all that I wished. Once, also--I hope but once, --youthought me impertinent, --there, indeed, I less dare vindicate myself--"

"There is no occasion, Sir, " interrupted she, walking towards thedoor, "for further vindication in any thing; I am perfectly satisfied, and if my good wishes are worth your acceptance, assure yourself youpossess them. "

"Barbarous, and insulting!" cried he, half to himself; and then, witha quick motion hastening to open the door for her, "Go, madam, " headded, almost breathless with conflicting emotions, "go, and be yourhappiness unalterable as your inflexibility!"

Cecilia was turning back to answer this reproach, but the sight ofLady Honoria, who was entering at the other door, deterred her, andshe went on'. 

When she came to her own room, she walked about it some time in astate so unsettled, between anger and disappointment, sorrow andpride, that she scarce knew to which emotion to give way, and feltalmost bursting with each. 

"The die, " she cried, "is at last thrown; and this affair is concludedfor ever! Delvile himself is content to relinquish me; no father hascommanded, no mother has interfered, he has required no admonition, full well enabled to act for himself by the powerful instigation ofhereditary arrogance! Yet my family, he says, --unexpectedcondescension! my family and every other circumstance isunexceptionable; how feeble, then, is that regard which yields to oneonly objection! how potent that haughtiness which to nothing will giveway! Well, let him keep his name! since so wondrous its properties, soall-sufficient its preservation, what vanity, what presumption in me, to suppose myself an equivalent for its loss!"

Thus, deeply offended, her spirits were supported by resentment, andnot only while in company, but when alone, she found herself scarceaverse to the approaching separation, and enabled to endure it withoutrepining. 

CHAPTER x. 

A RETREAT. 

The next morning Cecilia arose late, not only to avoid the raillery ofLady Honoria, but to escape seeing the departure of Delvile; she knewthat the spirit with which she had left him, made him, at present, think her wholly insensible, and she was at least happy to be sparedthe mortification of a discovery, since she found him thus content, without even solicitation, to resign her. 

Before she was dressed, Lady Honoria ran into her room, "A new schemeof politics!" she cried; "our great statesman intends to leave us: hecan't trust his baby out of his sight, so he is going to nurse himwhile upon the road himself. Poor pretty dear Mortimer! what a puppetdo they make of him! I have a vast inclination to get a pap-boatmyself, and make him a present of it. "

Cecilia then enquired further particulars, and heard that Mr Delvilepurposed accompanying his son to Bristol, whose journey, therefore, was postponed for a few hours to give time for new preparations. 

Mr Delvile, who, upon this occasion, thought himself overwhelmed withbusiness, because, before his departure, he had some directions togive to his domestics, chose to breakfast in his own apartment: MrsDelvile, also, wishing for some private conversation with her son, invited him to partake of hers in her dressing-room, sending anapology to her guests, and begging they would order their breakfastswhen they pleased. 

Mr Delvile, scrupulous in ceremony, had made sundry apologies to LordErnolf for leaving him; but his real anxiety for his son overpoweringhis artificial character, the excuses he gave to that nobleman weresuch as could not possibly offend; and the views of his lordshiphimself in his visit, being nothing interrupted, so long as Ceciliacontinued at the castle, he readily engaged, as a proof that he wasnot affronted, to remain with Mrs Delvile till his return. 

Cecilia, therefore, had her breakfast with the two lords and LadyHonoria; and when it was over, Lord Ernolf proposed to his son ridingthe first stage with the two Mr Delviles on horseback. This was agreedupon, and they left the room: and then Lady Honoria, full of frolicand gaiety, seized one of the napkins, and protested she would send itto Mortimer for a _slabbering-bib_: she therefore made it up in aparcel, and wrote upon the inside of the paper with which sheenveloped it, "A _pin-a fore_ for Master Mortimer Delvile, lesthe should daub his pappy when he is feeding him. " Eager to have thisproperly conveyed, she then ran out, to give it in charge to her ownman, who was to present him with it as he got into the chaise. 

She had but just quitted the room, when the door of it was againopened, and by Mortimer himself, booted, and equipped for his journey. 

"Miss Beverley here! and alone!" cried he, with a look, and in avoice, which skewed that all the pride of the preceding evening wassunk into the deepest dejection; "and does she not fly as I approachher? can she patiently bear in her sight one so strange, so fiery, soinconsistent? But she is too wise to resent the ravings of a madman;--and who, under the influence of a passion at once hopeless andviolent, can boast, but at intervals, full possession of his reason?"

Cecilia, utterly astonished by a gentleness so humble, looked at himin silent surprise; he advanced to her mournfully, and added, "I amashamed, indeed, of the bitterness of spirit with which I last nightprovoked your displeasure, when I should have supplicated your lenity:but though I was prepared for your coldness, I could not endure it, and though your indifference was almost friendly, it made me littleless than frantic; so strangely may justice be blinded by passion, andevery faculty of reason be warped by selfishness!"

"You have no apology to make, Sir, " cried Cecilia, "since, believe me, I require none. "

"You may well, " returned he, half-smiling, "dispense with myapologies, since under the sanction of that word, I obtained yourhearing yesterday. But, believe me, you will now find me far morereasonable; a whole night's reflections--reflections which no reposeinterrupted!--have brought me to my senses. Even lunatics, you know, have lucid moments!"

"Do you intend, Sir, to set off soon?"

"I believe so; I wait only for my father. But why is Miss Beverley soimpatient? I shall not soon _return_; that, at least, is certain, and, for a few instants delay, may surely offer some palliation;--See!if I am not ready to again accuse you of severity!--I must run, Ifind, or all my boasted reformation will end but in fresh offence, fresh disgrace, and fresh contrition! Adieu, madam!--and may allprosperity attend you! That will be ever my darling wish, however longmy absence, however distant the climates which may part us!" He wasthen hurrying away, but Cecilia, from an impulse of surprise toosudden to be restrained, exclaimed "The climates?--do you, then, meanto leave England?"

"Yes, " cried he, with quickness, "for why should I remain in it? a fewweeks only could I fill up in any tour so near home, and hither in afew weeks to return would be folly and madness: in an absence sobrief, what thought but that of the approaching meeting would occupyme? and what, at that meeting, should I feel, but joy the mostdangerous, and delight which I dare not think of!--every conflictrenewed, every struggle re-felt, again all this scene would require tobe acted, again I must tear myself away, and every tumultuous passionnow beating in my heart would be revived, and, if possible, be revivedwith added misery!--No!--neither my temper nor my constitution willendure such another shock, one parting shall suffice, and thefortitude with which I will lengthen my self-exile, shall atone tomyself for the weakness which makes it requisite!"

And then, with a vehemence that seemed fearful of the smallest delay, he was again, and yet more hastily going, when Cecilia, with muchemotion, called out, "Two moments, Sir!"

"Two thousand! two million!" cried he, impetuously, and returning, with a look of the most earnest surprise, he added, "What is it MissBeverley will condescend to command?"

"Nothing, " cried she, recovering her presence of mind, "but to beg youwill by no means, upon my account, quit your country and your friends, since another asylum can be found for myself, and since I would muchsooner part from Mrs Delvile, greatly and sincerely as I reverenceher, than be instrumental to robbing her, even for a month, of herson. "

"Generous and humane is the consideration, " cried he; "but who half sogenerous, so humane as Miss Beverley? so soft to all others, so noblein herself? Can my mother have a wish, when I leave her with you? No;she is sensible of your worth, she adores you, almost as I adore youmyself! you are now under her protection, you seem, indeed, born foreach other; let me not, then, deprive her of so honourable a charge--Oh, why must he, who sees in such colours the excellencies of both, who admires with such fervour the perfections you unite, be torn withthis violence from the objects he reveres, even though half his lifehe would sacrifice, to spend in their society what remained!"--

"Well, then, Sir, " said Cecilia, who now felt her courage decline, andthe softness of sorrow steal fast upon her spirits, "if you will notgive up your scheme, let me no longer detain you. "

"Will you not wish me a good journey?"

"Yes, --very sincerely. "

"And will you pardon the unguarded errors which have offended you?"

"I will think of them, Sir, no more. "

"Farewell, then, most amiable of women, and may every blessing youdeserve light on your head! I leave to you my mother, certain of yoursympathetic affection for a character so resembling your own. When_you_, madam, leave her, may the happy successor in your favour--" He paused, his voice faultered, Cecilia, too, turned away from him, and, uttering a deep sigh, he caught her hand, and pressing it to hislips, exclaimed, "O great be your felicity, in whatever way youreceive it!--pure as your virtues, and warm as your benevolence!--Ohtoo lovely Miss Beverley!--why, why must I quit you!"

Cecilia, though she trusted not her voice to reprove him, forced awayher hand, and then, in the utmost perturbation, he rushed out of theroom. 

This scene for Cecilia, was the most unfortunate that could havehappened; the gentleness of Delvile was alone sufficient to melt her, since her pride had no subsistence when not fed by his own; and whilehis mildness had blunted her displeasure, his anguish had penetratedher heart. Lost in thought and in sadness, she continued fixed to herseat; and looking at the door through which he had passed, as if, withhimself, he had shut out all for which she existed. 

This pensive dejection was not long uninterrupted; Lady Honoria camerunning back, with intelligence, in what manner she had disposed ofher napkin, and Cecilia in listening, endeavoured to find somediversion; but her ladyship, though volatile not undiscerning, soonperceived that her attention was constrained, and looking at her withmuch archness, said, I believe, my dear, I must find another napkinfor _you!_ not, how ever, for your _mouth_, but for your _eyes!_Has Mortimer been in to take leave of you?"

"Take leave of me?--No, --is he gone?"

"O no, Pappy has a world of business to settle first; he won't beready these two hours. But don't look so sorrowful, for I'll run andbring Mortimer to console you. "

Away she flew, and Cecilia, who had no power to prevent her, findingher spirits unequal either to another parting, or to the raillery ofLady Honoria, should Mortimer, for his own sake, avoid it, took refugein flight, and seizing an umbrella, escaped into the park; where, toperplex any pursuers, instead of chusing her usual walk, she directedher steps to a thick and unfrequented wood, and never rested till shewas more than two miles from the house. Fidel, however, who now alwaysaccompanied her, ran by her side, and, when she thought herselfsufficiently distant and private to be safe, she sat down under atree, and caressing her faithful favourite, soothed her own tendernessby lamenting that _he_ had lost his master; and, having now nopart to act, and no dignity to support, no observation to fear, and noinference to guard against, she gave vent to her long smotheredemotions, by weeping without caution or restraint. 

She had met with an object whose character answered all her wishes forhim with whom she should entrust her fortune, and whose turn of mind, so similar to her own, promised her the highest domestic felicity: tothis object her affections had involuntarily bent, they were secondedby esteem, and unchecked by any suspicion of impropriety in herchoice: she had found too, in return, that his heart was all her own:her birth, indeed, was inferior, but it was not disgraceful; herdisposition, education and temper seemed equal to his fondest wishes:yet, at the very time when their union appeared most likely, when theymixed with the same society, and dwelt under the same roof, when thefather to one, was the guardian to the other, and interest seemed toinvite their alliance even more than affection, the young man himself, without counsel or command, could tear himself from her presence by aneffort all his own, forbear to seek her heart, and almost charge hernot to grant it, and determining upon voluntary exile, quit hiscountry and his connections with no view, and for no reason, butmerely that he might avoid the sight of her he loved!

Though the motive for this conduct was now no longer unknown to her, she neither thought it satisfactory nor necessary; yet, while shecensured his flight, she bewailed his loss, and though his inducementwas repugnant to her opinion, his command over his passions sheadmired and applauded. 

CHAPTER xi. 

A WORRY. 

Cecilia continued in this private spot, happy at least to be alone, till she was summoned by the dinner bell to return home. 

As soon as she entered the parlour, where every body was assembledbefore her, she observed, by the countenance of Mrs Delvile, that shehad passed the morning as sadly as herself. 

"Miss Beverley, " cried Lady Honoria, before she was seated, "I insistupon your taking my place to-day. " "Why so, madam?"

"Because I cannot suffer you to sit by a window with such a terriblecold. "

"Your ladyship is very good, but indeed I have not any cold at all. "

"O my dear, I must beg your pardon there; your eyes are quitebloodshot; Mrs Delvile, Lord Ernolf, are not her eyes quite red?--Lord, and so I protest are her cheeks! now do pray look in the glass, I assure you you will hardly know yourself. "

Mrs Delvile, who regarded her with the utmost kindness, affected tounderstand Lady Honoria's speech literally, both to lessen herapparent confusion, and the suspicious surmises of Lord Ernolf; shetherefore said, "you have indeed a bad cold, my love; but shade youreyes with your hat, and after dinner you shall bathe them in rosewater, which will soon take off the inflammation. "

Cecilia, perceiving her intention, for which she felt the utmostgratitude, no longer denied her cold, nor refused the offer of LadyHonoria: who, delighting in mischief, whencesoever it proceeded, presently added, "This cold is a judgment upon you for leaving mealone all this morning; but I suppose you chose a tête-à-tête withyour favourite, without the intrusion of any third person. "

Here every body stared, and Cecilia very seriously declared she hadbeen quite alone. 

"Is it possible you can so forget yourself?" cried Lady Honoria; "hadyou not your dearly beloved with you?"

Cecilia, who now comprehended that she meant Fidel, coloured moredeeply than ever, but attempted to laugh, and began eating her dinner. 

"Here seems some matter of much intricacy, " cried Lord Ernolf, "but, to me, wholly unintelligible. "

"And to me also, " cried Mrs Delvile, "but I am content to let itremain so; for the mysteries of Lady Honoria are so frequent, thatthey deaden curiosity. "

"Dear madam, that is very unnatural, " cried Lady Honoria, "for I amsure you must long to know who I mean. "

"_I_ do, at least, " said Lord Ernolf. 

"Why then, my lord, you must know, Miss Beverley has two companions, and I am one, and Fidel is the other; but Fidel was with her all thismorning, and she would not admit me to the conference. I suppose shehad something private to say to him of his master's journey. "

"What rattle is this?" cried Mrs Delvile; "Fidel is gone with my son, is he not?" turning to the servants. 

"No, madam, Mr Mortimer did not enquire for him. "

"That's very strange, " said she, "I never knew him quit home withouthim before. "

"Dear ma'am, if he had taken him, " cried Lady Honoria, "what couldpoor Miss Beverley have done? for she has no friend here but him andme, and really he's so much the greater favourite, that it is well ifI do not poison him some day for very spite. "

Cecilia had no resource but in forcing a laugh, and Mrs Delvile, whoevidently felt for her, contrived soon to change the subject: yet notbefore Lord Ernolf, with infinite chagrin, was certain by all thatpassed of the hopeless state of affairs for his son. 

The rest of the day, and every hour of the two days following, Ceciliapassed in the most comfortless constraint, fearful of being a momentalone, lest the heaviness of her heart should seek relief in tears, which consolation, melancholy as it was, she found too dangerous forindulgence: yet the gaiety of Lady Honoria lost all power ofentertainment, and even the kindness of Mrs Delvile, now she imputedit to compassion, gave her more mortification than pleasure. 

On the third day, letters arrived from Bristol: but they brought withthem nothing of comfort, for though Mortimer wrote gaily, his fathersent word that his fever seemed threatening to return. 

Mrs Delvile was now in the extremest anxiety; and the task of Ceciliain appearing chearful and unconcerned, became more and more difficultto perform. Lord Ernolf's efforts to oblige her grew as hopeless tohimself, as they were irksome to her; and Lady Honoria alone, of thewhole house, could either find or make the smallest diversion. Butwhile Lord Derford remained, she had still an object for ridicule, andwhile Cecilia could colour and be confused, she had still a subjectfor mischief. 

Thus passed a week, during which the news from Bristol being every dayless and less pleasant, Mrs Delvile skewed an earnest desire to make ajourney thither herself, and proposed, half laughing and halfseriously, that the whole party should accompany her. 

Lady Honoria's time, however, was already expired, and her fatherintended to send for her in a few days. 

Mrs Delvile, who knew that such a charge would occupy all her time, willingly deferred setting out till her ladyship should be gone, butwrote word to Bristol that she should shortly be there, attended bythe two lords, who insisted upon escorting her. 

Cecilia now was in a state of the utmost distress; her stay at thecastle she knew kept Delvile at a distance; to accompany his mother toBristol, was forcing herself into his sight, which equally fromprudence and pride she wished to avoid; and even Mrs Delvile evidentlydesired her absence, since whenever the journey was talked of, shepreferably addressed herself to any one else who was present. 

All she could devise to relieve herself from a situation so painful, was begging permission to make a visit without delay to her old friendMrs Charlton in Suffolk. 

This resolution taken, she put it into immediate execution, andseeking Mrs Delvile, enquired if she might venture to make a petitionto her?

"Undoubtedly, " answered she; "but let it not be very disagreeable, since I feel already that I can refuse you nothing. "

"I have an old friend, ma'am, " she then cried, speaking fast, and inmuch haste to have done, "who I have not for many months seen, and, as_my_ health does not require a Bristol journey, --if you wouldhonour me with mentioning my request to Mr Delvile, I think I mighttake the present opportunity of making Mrs Charlton a visit. "

Mrs Delvile looked at her some time without speaking, and then, fervently embracing her, "sweet Cecilia!" she cried, "yes, you are allthat I thought you! good, wise, discreet, tender, and noble at once!--how to part with you, indeed, I know not, --but you shall do as youplease, for that I am sure will be right, and therefore I will make noopposition. "

Cecilia blushed and thanked her, yet saw but too plainly that all themotives of her scheme were clearly comprehended. She hastened, therefore, to write to Mrs Charlton, and prepare for her reception. 

Mr Delvile, though with his usual formality, sent his permission: andMortimer at the same time, begged his mother would bring with herFidel, whom he had unluckily forgotten. 

Lady Honoria, who was present when Mrs Delvile mentioned thiscommission, said in a whisper to Cecilia, "Miss Beverley, don't lethim go. "

"Why not?"

"O, you had a great deal better take him slyly into Suffolk. "

"I would as soon, " answered Cecilia, "take with me the side-board ofplate, for I should scarcely think it more a robbery. "

"Oh, I beg your pardon, I am sure they might all take such a theft foran honour; and if I was going to Bristol, I would bid Mortimer sendhim to you immediately. However, if you wish it, I will write to him. He's my cousin, you know, so there will be no great impropriety init. "

Cecilia thanked her for so courteous an offer, but entreated that shemight by no means draw her into such a condescension. 

She then made immediate preparations for her journey into Suffolk, which she saw gave equal surprize and chagrin to Lord Ernolf, uponwhose affairs Mrs Delvile herself now desired to speak with her. 

"Tell me, Miss Beverley, " she cried, "briefly and positively youropinion of Lord Derford?"

"I think of him so little, madam, " she answered, "that I cannot say ofhim much; he appears, however, to be inoffensive; but, indeed, were Inever to see him again, he is one of those I should forget I had everseen at all. "

"That is so exactly the case with myself also, " cried Mrs Delvile, "that to plead for him, I find utterly impossible, though my LordErnolf has strongly requested me: but to press such an alliance, Ishould think an indignity to your understanding. "

Cecilia was much gratified by this speech; but she soon after added, "There is one reason, indeed, which would render such a connectiondesirable, though that is only one. "

"What is it, madam?"

"His title. "

"And why so? I am sure I have no ambition of that sort. "

"No, my love, " said Mrs Delvile, smiling, "I mean not by way ofgratification to _your_ pride, but to _his_; since a title, by taking place of a family name, would obviate the _only_objection that _any_ man could form to an alliance with MissBeverley. "

Cecilia, who too well understood her, suppressed a sigh, and changedthe subject of conversation. 

One day was sufficient for all the preparations she required, and, asshe meant to set out very early the next morning, she took leave ofLady Honoria, and the Lords Ernolf and Derford, when they separatedfor the night; but Mrs Delvile followed her to her room. 

She expressed her concern at losing her in the warmest and mostflattering terms, yet said nothing of her coming back, nor of thelength of her stay; she desired, however, to hear from her frequently, and assured her that out of her own immediate family, there was nobodyin the world she so tenderly valued. 

She continued with her till it grew so late that they were almostnecessarily parted: and then rising to be gone, "See, " she cried, "with what reluctance I quit you! no interest but so dear a one asthat which calls me away, should induce me, with my own consent, tobear your absence scarcely an hour: but the world is full ofmortifications, and to endure, or to sink under them, makes all thedistinction between the noble or the weak-minded. To _you_ thismay be said with safety; to most young women it would pass for areflection. "

"You are very good, " said Cecilia, smothering the emotions to whichthis speech gave rise, "and if indeed you honour me with an opinion soflattering, I will endeavour, if it is possibly in my power, not toforfeit it. "

"Ah, my love!" cried Mrs Delvile warmly, "if upon my opinion of youalone depended our residence with each other, when should we everpart, and how live a moment asunder? But what title have I tomonopolize two such blessings? the mother of Mortimer Delvile shouldat nothing repine; the mother of Cecilia Beverley had alone equalreason to be proud. "

"You are determined, madam, " said Cecilia, forcing a smile, "that I_shall_ be worthy, by giving me the sweetest of motives, that ofdeserving such praise. " And then, in a faint voice, she desired herrespects to Mr Delvile, and added, "you will find, I hope, every bodyat Bristol better than you expect. "

"I hope so, " returned she; "and that you too, will find your MrsCharlton well, happy, and good as you left her: but suffer her not todrive me from your remembrance, and never fancy that because she hasknown you longer, she loves you more; my acquaintance with you, thoughshort, has been critical, and she must hear from you a world ofanecdotes, before she can have reason to love you as much. "

"Ah, madam, " cried Cecilia, tears starting into her eyes, "let us partnow!--where will be that strength of mind you expect from me, if Ilisten to you any longer!"

"You are right, my love, " answered Mrs Delvile, "since all tendernessenfeebles fortitude. " Then affectionately embracing her, "Adieu, " shecried, "sweetest Cecilia, amiable and most excellent creature, adieu!--you, carry with you my highest approbation, my love, my esteem, myfondest wishes!--and shall I--yes, generous girl! I _will_ add mywarmest gratitude!"

This last word she spoke almost in a whisper, again kissed her, andhastened out of the room. 

Cecilia, surprised and affected, gratified and depressed, remainedalmost motionless, and could not, for a great length of time, eitherring for her maid, or persuade herself to go to rest. She sawthroughout the whole behaviour of Mrs Delvile, a warmth of regardwhich, though strongly opposed by family pride, made her almostmiserable to promote the very union she thought necessary todiscountenance; she saw, too, that it was with the utmost difficultyshe preserved the steadiness of her opposition, and that she had aconflict perpetual with herself, to forbear openly acknowledging thecontrariety of her wishes, and the perplexity of her distress; butchiefly she was struck with her expressive use of the word gratitude. "Wherefore should she be grateful, " thought Cecilia, "what have Idone, or had power to do? infinitely, indeed, is she deceived, if shesupposes that her son has acted by my directions; my influence withhim is nothing, and he could not be more his own master, were heutterly indifferent to me. To conceal my own disappointment has, beenall I have attempted; and perhaps she may think of me thus highly, from supposing that the firmness of her son is owing to my caution andreserve: ah, she knows him not!--were my heart at this moment laidopen to him, --were all its weakness, its partiality, its ill-fatedadmiration displayed, he would but double his vigilance to avoid andforget me, and find the task all the easier by his abatement ofesteem. Oh strange infatuation of unconquerable prejudice! his verylife will he sacrifice in preference to his name, and while theconflict of his mind threatens to level him with the dust, he disdainsto unite himself where one wish is unsatisfied!"

These reflections, and the uncertainty if she should ever in DelvileCastle sleep again, disturbed her the whole night, and made allcalling in the morning unnecessary: she arose at five o'clock, dressedherself with the utmost heaviness of heart, and in going through along gallery which led to the staircase, as she passed the door ofMortimer's chamber, the thought of his ill health, his intended longjourney, and the probability that she might never see him more, sodeeply impressed and saddened her, that scarcely could she forceherself to proceed, without stopping to weep and to pray for him; shewas surrounded, however, by servants, and compelled therefore tohasten to the chaise; she flung herself in, and, leaning back, drewher hat over her eyes, and thought, as the carriage drove off, herlast hope of earthly happiness extinguished. 

BOOK VII. 

CHAPTER i. 

A RENOVATION. 

Cecilia was accompanied by her maid in the chaise, and her own servantand one of Mrs Delvile's attended her on horseback. 

The quietness of her dejection was soon interrupted by a loud cryamong the men of "home! home! home!" She then looked out of one of thewindows, and perceived Fidel, running after the carriage, and barkingat the servants, who were all endeavouring to send him back. 

Touched by this proof of the animal's gratitude for her attention tohim, and conscious she had herself occasioned his master's leavinghim, the scheme of Lady Honoria occurred to her, and she almost wishedto put it in execution, but this was the thought of a moment, andmotioning him with her hand to go back, she desired Mrs Delvile's manto return with him immediately, and commit him to the care of somebodyin the castle. 

This little incident, however trifling, was the most important of herjourney, for she arrived at the house of Mrs Charlton without meetingany other. 

The sight of that lady gave her a sensation of pleasure to which shehad long been a stranger, pleasure pure, unmixed, unaffected andunrestrained: it revived all her early affection, and with it, something resembling at least her early tranquility: again she was inthe house where it had once been undisturbed, again she enjoyed thesociety which was once all she had wished, and again saw the samescene, the same faces, and same prospects she had beheld while herheart was all devoted to her friends. 

Mrs Charlton, though old and infirm, preserved an understanding, which, whenever unbiassed by her affections, was sure to direct herunerringly; but the extreme softness of her temper frequently misledher judgment, by making it, at the pleasure either of misfortune or ofartifice, always yield to compassion, and pliant to entreaty. Whereher counsel and opinion were demanded, they were certain to reflecthonour on her capacity and discernment; but where her assistance orher pity were supplicated, her purse and her tears were immediatelybestowed, and in her zeal to alleviate distress she forgot if theobject were deserving her solicitude, and stopt not to considerpropriety or discretion, if happiness, however momentary, were in herpower to grant. 

This generous foible was, however, kept somewhat in subjection by thewatchfulness of two grand-daughters, who, fearing the injury theymight themselves receive from it, failed not to point out both itsinconvenience and its danger. 

These ladies were daughters of a deceased and only son of MrsCharlton; they were single, and lived with their grand-mother, whosefortune, which was considerable, they expected to share between them, and they waited with eagerness for the moment of appropriation;narrow-minded and rapacious, they wished to monopolize whatever shepossessed, and thought themselves aggrieved by her smallest donations. Their chief employment was to keep from her all objects of distress, and in this though they could not succeed, they at least confined herliberality to such as resembled themselves; since neither the spiritedcould brook, nor the delicate support the checks and rebuffs from thegranddaughters, which followed the gifts of Mrs Charlton. Cecilia, ofall her acquaintance, was the only one whose intimacy they encouraged, for they knew her fortune made her superior to any mercenary views, and they received from her themselves more civilities than they paid. 

Mrs Charlton loved Cecilia with an excess of fondness, that not onlytook place of the love she bore her other friends, but to which evenher regard for the Miss Charltons was inferior and feeble. Ceciliawhen a child had reverenced her as a mother, and, grateful for hertenderness and care, had afterwards cherished her as a friend. Therevival of this early connection delighted them both, it was balm tothe wounded mind of Cecilia, it was renovation to the existence of MrsCharlton. 

Early the next morning she wrote a card to Mr Monckton and LadyMargaret, acquainting them with her return into Suffolk, and desiringto know when she might pay her respects to her Ladyship. She receivedfrom the old lady a verbal answer, _when she pleased_, but MrMonckton came instantly himself to Mrs Charlton's. 

His astonishment, his rapture at this unexpected incident were almostboundless; he thought it a sudden turn of fortune in his own favour, and concluded, now she had escaped the danger of Delvile Castle, theroad was short and certain that led to his own security. 

Her satisfaction in the meeting was as sincere, though not so animatedas his own: but this similarity in their feelings was of shortduration, for when he enquired into what had passed at the castle, with the reasons of her quitting it, the pain she felt in giving evena cursory and evasive account, was opposed on his part by the warmestdelight in hearing it: he could not obtain from her the particulars ofwhat had happened, but the reluctance with which she spoke, the air ofmortification with which she heard his questions, and the evidentdispleasure which was mingled in her chagrin, when he forced her tomention Delvile, were all proofs the most indisputable andsatisfactory, that they had either parted without any explanation, orwith one by which Cecilia had been hurt and offended. 

He now readily concluded that since the fiery trial he had mostapprehended was over; and she had quitted in anger the asylum she hadsought in extacy, Delvile himself did not covet the alliance, which, since they were separated, was never likely to take place. He hadtherefore little difficulty in promising all success to himself. 

She was once more upon the spot where she had regarded him as thefirst of men, he knew that during her absence no one had settled inthe neighbourhood who had any pretensions to dispute with him thatpre-eminence, he should again have access to her, at pleasure, and sosanguine grew his hopes, that he almost began to rejoice even in thepartiality to Delvile that had hitherto been his terror, frombelieving it would give her for a time, that sullen distaste of allother connections, to which those who at once are delicate and ferventare commonly led by early disappointment. His whole solicitudetherefore now was to preserve her esteem, to seek her confidence, andto regain whatever by absence might be lost of the [ascendancy] overher mind which her respect for his knowledge and capacity had for manyyears given him. Fortune at this time seemed to prosper all his views, and, by a stroke the most sudden and unexpected, to render morerational his hopes and his plans than he had himself been able toeffect by the utmost craft of worldly wisdom. 

The day following Cecilia, in Mrs Charlton's chaise, waited upon LadyMargaret. She was received by Miss Bennet, her companion, with themost fawning courtesy; but when conducted to the lady of the house, she saw herself so evidently unwelcome, that she even regretted thecivility which had prompted her visit. 

She found with her nobody but Mr Morrice, who was the only young manthat could persuade himself to endure her company in the absence ofher husband, but who, in common with most young men who are assiduousin their attendance upon old ladies, doubted not but he ensuredhimself a handsome legacy for his trouble. 

Almost the first speech which her ladyship made, was "So you are notmarried yet, I find; if Mr Monckton had been a real friend, he wouldhave taken care to have seen for some establishment for you. "

"I was by no means, " cried Cecilia, with spirit, "either in so muchhaste or distress as to require from Mr Monckton any such exertion ofhis friendship. "

"Ma'am, " cried Morrice, "what a terrible night we had of it atVauxhall! poor Harrel! I was really excessively sorry for him. I hadnot courage to see you or Mrs Harrel after it. But as soon as I heardyou were in St James's-square, I tried to wait upon you; for reallygoing to Mr Harrel's again would have been quite too dismal. I wouldrather have run a mile by the side of a race-horse. "

"There is no occasion for any apology, " said Cecilia, "for I was verylittle disposed either to see or think of visitors. "

"So I thought, ma'am;" answered he, with quickness, "and really thatmade me the less alert in finding you out. However, ma'am, next winterI shall be excessively happy to make up for the deficiency; besides, Ishall be much obliged to you to introduce me to Mr Delvile, for I havea great desire to be acquainted with him. "

Mr Delvile, thought Cecilia, would be but too proud to hear it!However, she merely answered that she had no present prospect ofspending any time at Mr. Delvile's next winter. 

"True, ma'am, true, " cried he, "now I recollect, you become your ownmistress between this and then; and so I suppose you will naturallychuse a house of your own, which will be much more eligible. "

"I don't think that, " said Lady Margaret, "I never saw anythingeligible come of young women's having houses of their own; she will doa much better thing to marry, and have some proper person to take careof her. "

"Nothing more right, ma'am!" returned he; "a young lady in a house byherself must be subject to a thousand dangers. What sort of place, ma'am, has Mr Delvile got in the country? I hear he has a good deal ofground there, and a large house. "

"It is an old castle, Sir, and situated in a park. "

"That must be terribly forlorn: I dare say, ma'am, you were very happyto return into Suffolk. "

"I did not find it forlorn; I was very well satisfied with it. "

"Why, indeed, upon second thoughts, I don't much wonder; an old castlein a large park must make a very romantic appearance; something noblein it, I dare say. "

"Aye, " cried Lady Margaret, "they said you were to become mistress ofit, and marry Mr Delvile's son and I cannot, for my own part, see anyobjection to it. "

"I am told of so many strange reports, " said Cecilia, "and all, tomyself so unaccountable, that I begin now to hear of them without muchwonder. "

"That's a charming young man, I believe, " said Morrice; "I had thepleasure once or twice of meeting him at poor Harrel's, and he seemedmighty agreeable. Is not he so, ma'am?"

"Yes, --I believe so. "

"Nay, I don't mean to speak of him as any thing very extraordinary, "cried Morrice, imagining her hesitation proceeded from dislike, "Imerely meant as the world goes, --in a common sort of a way. "

Here they were joined by Mr Monckton and some gentlemen who were on avisit at his house; for his anxiety was not of a sort to lead him tosolitude, nor his disposition to make him deny himself any kind ofenjoyment which he had power to attain. A general conversation ensued, which lasted till Cecilia ended her visit; Mr Monckton then took herhand to lead her to the chaise, but told her, in their way out, ofsome alterations in his grounds, which he desired to shew her: hisview of detaining her was to gather what she thought of her reception, and whether she had yet any suspicions of the jealousy of LadyMargaret; well knowing, from the delicacy of her character, that ifonce she became acquainted with it, she would scrupulously avoid allintercourse with him, from the fear of encreasing her uneasiness. 

He began, therefore, with talking of the pleasure which Lady Margarettook in the plantations, and of his hope that Cecilia would oftenfavour her by visiting them, without waiting to have her visitsreturned, as she was entitled by her infirmities to particularindulgencies. He was continuing in this strain, receiving from Ceciliahardly any answer, when suddenly from behind a thick laurel bush, jumpt up Mr Morrice; who had run out of the house by a shorter cut, and planted himself there to surprise them. 

"So ho!" cried he with a loud laugh, "I have caught you! This will bea fine anecdote for Lady Margaret; I vow I'll tell her. "

Mr Monckton, never off his guard, readily answered "Aye, prithee do, Morrice; but don't omit to relate also what we said of yourself. "

"Of me?" cried he, with some eagerness; "why you never mentioned me. "

"O that won't pass, I assure you; we shall tell another tale at tableby and by; and bring the old proverb of the ill luck of listeners uponyou in its full force. "

"Well, I'll be hanged if I know what you mean!"

"Why you won't pretend you did not hear Miss Beverley say you were thetruest Ouran Outang, or man-monkey, she ever knew?"

"No, indeed, that I did not!

"No?--Nor how much she admired your dexterity in escaping being horse-whipt three times a day for your incurable impudence?"

"Not a word on't! Horse-whipt!--Miss Beverley, pray did you say anysuch thing?"

"Ay, " cried Monckton, again, "and not only horse-_whipt_, buthorse-_ponded_, for she thought when, one had heated, the othermight cool you; and then you might be fitted again for your nativewoods, for she insists upon it you was brought from Africa, and arenot yet half tamed. "

"O Lord!" cried Morrice, amazed, "I should not have suspected MissBeverley would have talked so!"

"And do you suspect she did now?" cried Cecilia. 

"Pho, pho, " cried Monckton, coolly, "why he heard it himself the wholetime! and so shall all our party by and bye, if I can but remember tomention it. "

Cecilia then returned to the chaise, leaving Mr Monckton to settle thematter with his credulous guest as he pleased; for supposing he wasmerely gratifying a love of sport, or taking this method of checkingthe general forwardness of the young man, she forbore any interferencethat might mar his intention. But Mr Monckton loved not to be ralliedconcerning Cecilia, though he was indifferent to all that could besaid to him of any other woman; he meant, therefore, to intimidateMorrice from renewing the subject; and he succeeded to his wish; poorMorrice, whose watching and whose speech were the mere blunders ofchance, made without the slightest suspicion of Mr Monckton's designs, now apprehended some scheme to render himself ridiculous, and thoughhe did not believe Cecilia had made use of such expressions, hefancied Mr Monckton meant to turn the laugh against him, anddetermined, therefore, to say nothing that might remind him of whathad passed. 

Mr Monckton had at this time admitted him to his house merely from anexpectation of finding more amusement in his blundering and giddiness, than he was capable, during his anxiety concerning Cecilia, ofreceiving from conversation of an higher sort. The character ofMorrice was, indeed, particularly adapted for the entertainment of alarge house in the country; eager for sport, and always ready forenterprize; willing to oblige, yet tormented with no delicacy aboutoffending; the first to promote mischief for any other, and the lastto be offended when exposed to it himself; gay, thoughtless, andvolatile, -a happy composition of levity and good-humour. 

Cecilia, however, to quitting the house, determined not to visit itagain very speedily; for she was extremely disgusted with LadyMargaret, though she suspected no particular motives of enmity, against which she was guarded alike by her own unsuspicious innocence, and by an high esteem of Mr Monckton, which she firmly believed hereturned with equal honesty of undesigning friendship. 

Her next excursion was to visit Mrs Harrel; she found that unhappylady a prey to all the misery of unoccupied solitude: torn fromwhatever had, to her, made existence seem valuable, her mind was aslistless as her person was inactive, and she was at a loss how toemploy even a moment of the day: she had now neither a party to form, nor an entertainment to plan, company to arrange, nor dress toconsider; and these, with visits and public places, had filled all hertime since her marriage, which, as it had 'happened very early in herlife, had merely taken place of girlish amusements, masters andgovernesses. 

This helplessness of insipidity, however, though naturally the effectof a mind devoid of all genuine resources, was dignified by herselfwith the appellation of sorrow: nor was this merely a screen to theworld; unused to investigate her feelings or examine her heart, thegeneral compassion she met for the loss of her husband, persuaded herthat indeed she lamented his destiny; though had no change in her lifebeen caused by his suicide, she would scarcely, when the first shockwas over, have thought of it again. 

She received Cecilia with great pleasure; and with still greater, heard the renewal of her promises to fit up a room for her in herhouse, as soon as she came of age; a period which now was hardly a, month distant. Far greater, however, as well as infinitely purer, was'the joy which her presence bestowed upon Mr Arnott; she saw itherself with a sensation of regret, not only at the constant passionwhich occasioned it, but even at her own inability to participate inor reward it for with him an alliance would meet with no opposition;his character was amiable, his situation in life unexceptionable: heloved her with the tenderest affection, and no pride, she well knew, would interfere to overpower it; yet, in return, to grant him herlove, she felt as utterly impossible as to refuse him her esteem: andthe superior attractions of Delvile, of which neither displeasure normortification could rob him, shut up her heart, for the present, morefirmly than ever, as Mr Monckton had well imagined, to all otherassailants. Yet she by no means weakly gave way to repining or regret:her suspence was at an end, her hopes and her fears were subsidedinto certainty; Delvile, in quitting her, had acquainted her that hehad left her for ever, and even, though not, indeed, with muchsteadiness, had prayed for her happiness in union with some other;she held it therefore as essential to her character as to her peace, to manifest equal fortitude in subduing her partiality; she forboreto hint to Mrs Charlton what had passed, that the subject might neverbe started; allowed herself no time for dangerous recollection;strolled in her old walks, and renewed her old acquaintance, and by avigorous exertion of active wisdom, doubted not compleating, beforelong, the subjection of her unfortunate tenderness. Nor was her taskso difficult as she had feared; resolution, in such cases, may actthe office of time, and anticipate by reason and self-denial, whatthat, much leas nobly, effects through forgetfulness and inconstancy. 

CHAPTER ii. 

A VISIT. 

One week only, however, had yet tried the perseverance of Cecilia, when, while she was working with Mrs Charlton in her dressing-room, her maid hastily entered it, and with a smile that seemed announcingwelcome news, said, "Lord, ma'am, here's Fidel!" and, at the samemoment, she was followed by the dog, who jumpt upon Cecilia in atransport of delight. 

"Good heaven, " cried she, all amazement, "who has brought him? whencedoes he come?"

"A country man brought him, ma'am; but he only put him in, and wouldnot stay a minute. "

"But whom did he enquire for?--who saw him?--what did he say?"

"He saw Ralph, ma'am. "

Ralph, then, was instantly called: and these questions being repeated, he said, "Ma'am, it was a man I never saw before; but he only bid metake care to deliver the dog into your own hands, and said you wouldhave a letter about him soon, and then went away: I wanted him to staytill I came up stairs, but he was off at once. "

Cecilia, quite confounded by this account, could make neither commentnor answer; but, as soon as the servants had left the room, MrsCharlton entreated to know to whom the dog had belonged, convinced byher extreme agitation, that something interesting and uncommon mustrelate to him. 

This was no time for disguise; astonishment and confusion bereftCecilia of all power to attempt it; and, after a very few evasions, she briefly communicated her situation with respect to Delvile, hisleaving her, his motives, and his mother's evident concurrence: forthese were all so connected with her knowledge of Fidel, that she ledto them unavoidably in telling what she knew of him. 

Very little penetration was requisite, to gather from her manner allthat was united in her narrative of her own feelings anddisappointment in the course of this affair: and Mrs Charlton, who hadhitherto believed the whole world at her disposal, and that shecontinued single from no reason but her own difficulty of choice, wasutterly amazed to find that any man existed who could withstand theunited allurements of so much beauty, sweetness, and fortune. She feltherself sometimes inclined to hate, and at other times to pity him;yet concluded that her own extreme coldness was the real cause of hisflight, and warmly blamed a reserve which had thus ruined herhappiness. 

Cecilia was in the extremest perplexity and distress to conjecture themeaning of so unaccountable a present, and so strange a message. Delvile, she knew, had desired the dog might follow him to Bristol;his mother, always pleased to oblige him, would now less than everneglect any opportunity; she could not, therefore, doubt that she hadsent or taken him thither, and thence, according to all appearances, he must now come. But was it likely Delvile would take such a liberty?Was it probable, when so lately he had almost exhorted her to forgethim, he would even wish to present her with such a remembrance ofhimself? And what was the letter she was bid to expect? Whence andfrom what was it to come?

All was inexplicable! the only thing she could surmise, with anysemblance of probability, was that the whole was some frolic of LadyHonoria Pemberton, who had persuaded Delvile to send her the dog, andperhaps assured him she had herself requested to have him. 

Provoked by this suggestion, her first thought was instantly havinghim conveyed to the castle; but uncertain what the whole affair meant, and hoping some explanation in the letter she was promised, shedetermined to wait till it came, or at least till she heard from MrsDelvile, before she took any measures herself in the business. Mutualaccounts of their safe arrivals at Bristol and in Suffolk, had alreadypassed between them, and she expected very soon to have furtherintelligence: though she was now, by the whole behaviour of MrsDelvile, convinced she wished not again to have her an inmate of herhouse, and that the rest of her minority might pass, withoutopposition; in the house of Mrs Charlton. 

Day after day, however, passed, and yet she heard nothing more; aweek, a fortnight elapsed, and still no letter came. She now concludedthe promise was a deception, and repented that she had waited a momentwith any such expectation. Her peace, during this time, was greatlydisturbed; this present made her fear she was thought meanly of by MrDelvile; the silence of his mother gave her apprehensions for hishealth, and her own irresolution how to act, kept her in perpetualinquietude. She tried in vain to behave as if this incident had nothappened; her mind was uneasy, and the same actions produced not thesame effects; when she now worked or read, the sight of Fidel by herside distracted her attention; when she walked, it was the same, forFidel always followed her; and though, in visiting her oldacquaintance, she forbore to let him accompany her, she was secretlyplanning the whole time the contents of some letter, which sheexpected to meet with, on returning to Mrs Charlton's. 

Those gentlemen in the country who, during the life-time of the Dean, had paid their addresses to Cecilia, again waited upon her at MrsCharlton's, and renewed their proposals. They had now, however, stillless chance of success, and their dismission was brief and decisive. 

Among these came Mr Biddulph; and to him Cecilia was involuntarilymost civil, because she knew him to be the friend of Delvile. Yet hisconversation encreased the uneasiness of her suspence; for afterspeaking of the family in general which she had left, he enquired moreparticularly concerning Delvile, and then added, "I am, indeed, greatly grieved to find, by all the accounts I receive of him, that heis now in a very bad state of health. "

This speech gave her fresh subject for apprehension; and in proportionas the silence of Mrs Delvile grew more alarming, her regard for herfavourite Fidel became more partial. The affectionate animal seemed tomourn the loss of his master, and while sometimes she indulged herselfin fancifully telling him her fears, she imagined she read in hiscountenance the faithfullest sympathy. 

One week of her minority was now all that remained, and she was soonwholly occupied in preparations for coming of age. She purposed takingpossession of a large house that had belonged to her uncle, which wassituated only three miles from that of Mrs Charlton; and she employedherself in giving orders for fitting it up, and in hearing complaints, and promising indulgencies, to various of her tenants. 

At this time, while she was at breakfast one morning, a letter arrivedfrom Mrs Delvile. She apologised for not writing sooner, but addedthat various family occurrences, which had robbed her of all leisure, might easily be imagined, when she acquainted her that Mortimer haddetermined upon again going abroad. . . . They were all, she said, returned to Delvile Castle, but mentioned nothing either of the healthof her son, or of her own regret, and filled up the rest of herletter, with general news and expressions of kindness: though, in apostscript, was inserted, "We have lost our poor Fidel. "

Cecilia was still meditating upon this letter, by which her perplexityhow to act was rather encreased than diminished, when, to her greatsurprise, Lady Honoria Pemberton was announced. She hastily begged oneof the Miss Charltons to convey Fidel out of sight, from a dread ofher raillery, should she, at last, be unconcerned in the transaction, and then went to receive her. 

Lady Honoria, who was with her governess, gave a brief history of herquitting Delvile Castle, and said she was now going with her father tovisit a noble family in Norfolk: but she had obtained his permissionto leave him at the inn where they had slept, in order to make a shortexcursion to Bury, for the pleasure of seeing Miss Beverley. 

"And therefore, " she continued, "I can stay but half an hour; so youmust give me some account of yourself as fast as possible. "

"What account does your ladyship require?"

"Why, who you live with here, and who are your companions, and whatyou do with yourself. "

"Why, I live with Mrs Charlton; and for companions, I have at least ascore; here are her two grand-daughters, and Mrs and Miss--. "

"Pho, pho, " interrupted Lady Honoria, "but I don't mean such hum-drumcompanions as those; you'll tell me next, I suppose, of the parson andhis wife and three daughters, with all their cousins and aunts: I hatethose sort of people. What I desire to hear of is, who are yourparticular favourites; and whether you take long walks here, as youused to do at the Castle, and who you have to accompany you?" Andthen, looking at her very archly, she added, "A pretty little dog, now, I should think, would be vastly agreeable in such a place asthis. --Ah, Miss Beverley! you have not left off that trick ofcolouring, I see!"

"If I colour now, " said Cecilia, fully convinced of the justness ofher suspicions, "I think it must be for your ladyship, not myself;for, if I am not much mistaken, either in person, or by proxy, a blushfrom Lady Honoria Pemberton would not, just now, be wholly out ofseason. "

"Lord, " cried she, "how like that is to a speech of Mrs Delvile's! Shehas taught you exactly her manner of talking. But do you know I aminformed you have got Fidel with you here? O fie, Miss Beverley! Whatwill papa and mamma say, when they find you have taken away poorlittle master's plaything?"

"And O fie, Lady Honoria! what shall _I_ say, when I find youguilty of this mischievous frolic! I must beg, however, since you havegone thus far, that you will proceed a little farther, and send backthe dog to the person from whom you received him. "

"No, not I! manage him all your own way: if you chuse to accept dogsfrom gentlemen, you know, it is your affair, and not mine. "

"If you really will not return him yourself, you must at least pardonme should you hear that _I_ do in your ladyship's name. "

Lady Honoria for some time only laughed and rallied, without coming toany explanation; but when she had exhausted all the sport she couldmake, she frankly owned that she had herself ordered the dog to beprivately stolen, and then sent a man with him to Mrs Charlton's. 

"But you know, " she continued, "I really owed you a spite for being soill-natured as to run away after sending me to call Mortimer tocomfort and take leave of you. "

"Do you dream, Lady Honoria? when did I send you?"

"Why you know you looked as if you wished it, and that was the samething. But really it made me appear excessively silly, when I hadforced him to come back with me, and told him you were waiting forhim, --to see nothing of you at all, and not be able to find or traceyou. He took it all for my own invention. "

"And was it _not_ your own invention?"

"Why that's nothing to the purpose; I wanted him to believe you sentme, for I knew else he would not come. "

"Your ladyship was a great deal too good!"

"Why now suppose I had brought you together, what possible harm couldhave happened from it? It would merely have given each of you somenotion of a fever and ague; for first you would both have been hot, and then you would both have been cold, and then you would both haveturned red, and then you would both have turned white, and then youwould both have pretended to simper at the trick; and then there wouldhave been an end of it. "

"This is a very easy way of settling it all, " cried Cecilia laughing;"however, you must be content to abide by your own theft, for youcannot in conscience expect I should take it upon myself. "

"You are terribly ungrateful, I see, " said her ladyship, "for all thetrouble and contrivance and expence I have been at merely to obligeyou, while the whole time, poor Mortimer, I dare say, has had hissweet Pet advertised in all the newspapers, and cried in every market-town in the kingdom. By the way, if you do send him back, I wouldadvise you to let your man demand the reward that has been offered forhim, which may serve in part of payment for his travelling expenses. "

Cecilia could only shake her head, and recollect Mrs Delvile'sexpression, that her levity was incorrigible. 

"O if you had seen, " she continued, "how sheepish Mortimer looked whenI told him you were dying to see him before he set off! he colouredso!--just as you do now!--but I think you're vastly alike. "

"I fear, then, " cried Cecilia, not very angry at this speech, "thereis but little chance your ladyship should like either of us. "

"O yes, I do! I like odd people of all things. "

"Odd people? and in what are we so very odd?"

"O, in a thousand things. You're so good, you know, and so grave, andso squeamish. "

"Squeamish? how?"

"Why, you know, you never laugh at the old folks, and never fly atyour servants, nor smoke people before their faces, and are so civilto the old _fograms_, you would make one imagine you liked nobodyso well. By the way, I could do no good with my little Lord Derford;he pretended to find out I was only laughing at him, and so he mindednothing I told him. I dare say, however, his father made thedetection, for I am sure he had not wit enough to discover ithimself. "

Cecilia then, very seriously began to entreat that she would returnthe dog herself, and confess her frolic, remonstrating in strong termsupon the mischievous tendency and consequences of such inconsiderateflights. 

"Well, " cried she, rising, "this is all vastly true; but I have notime to hear any more of it just now; besides, it's only forestallingmy next lecture from Mrs Delvile, for you talk so much alike, that itis really very perplexing to me to remember which is which. "

She then hurried away, protesting she had already outstayed herfather's patience, and declaring the delay of another minute wouldoccasion half a dozen expresses to know whether she was gone towardsScotland or Flanders. 

This visit, however, was both pleasant and consolatory to Cecilia; whowas now relieved from her suspence, and revived in her spirits by theintelligence that Delvile had no share in sending her a present, which, from him, would have been humiliating and impertinent. Sheregretted, indeed, that she had not instantly returned it to thecastle, which she was now convinced was the measure she ought to havepursued; but to make all possible reparation, she determined that herown servant should set out with him the next morning to Bristol, andtake a letter to Mrs Delvile to explain what had happened, since toconceal it from any delicacy to Lady Honoria, would be to exposeherself to suspicions the most mortifying, for which that gay andcareless young lady would never thank her. 

She gave orders, therefore, to her servant to get ready for thejourney. 

When she communicated these little transactions to Mrs Charlton, thatkind-hearted old lady, who knew her fondness for Fidel, advised hernot yet to part with him, but merely to acquaint Mrs Delvile where hewas, and what Lady Honoria had done, and, by leaving to herself thecare of settling his restoration, to give her, at least, anopportunity of offering him to her acceptance. 

Cecilia, however, would listen to no such proposal; she saw thefirmness of Delvile in his resolution to avoid her, and knew thatpolicy, as well as propriety, made it necessary she should part withwhat she could only retain to remind her of one whom she now mostwished to forget. 

CHAPTER iii. 

AN INCIDENT. 

The spirits of Cecilia, however, internally failed her: she consideredher separation from Delvile to be now, in all probability, for life, since she saw that no struggle either of interest, inclination, orhealth, could bend him from his purpose; his mother, too, seemed toregard his name and his existence as equally valuable, and thescruples of his father she was certain would be still moreinsurmountable. Her own pride, excited by theirs, made her, indeed, with more anger than sorrow, see this general consent to abandon her;but pride and anger both failed when she considered the situation ofhis health; sorrow, there, took the lead, and admitted no partner: itrepresented him to her not only as lost to herself, but to the world;and so sad grew her reflections, and so heavy her heart, that, toavoid from Mrs Charlton observations which pained her, she stole intoa summer-house in the garden the moment she had done tea, decliningany companion but her affectionate Fidel. 

Her tenderness and her sorrow found here a romantic consolation, incomplaining to him of the absence of his master, his voluntary exile, and her fears for his health: calling upon him to participate in hersorrow, and lamenting that even this little relief would soon bedenied her; and that in losing Fidel no vestige of Mortimer, but inher own breast, would remain; "Go, then, dear Fidel, " she cried, "carry back to your master all that nourishes his remembrance! Bid himnot love you the less for having some time belonged to Cecilia; butnever may his proud heart be fed with the vain glory of knowing howfondly for his sake she has cherished you! Go, dear Fidel, guard himby night, and follow him by day; serve him with zeal, and love himwith fidelity;--oh that his health were invincible as his pride!--there, alone, is he vulnerable--"

Here Fidel, with a loud barking, suddenly sprang away from her, and, as she turned her eyes towards the door to see what had thus startledhim, she beheld standing there, as if immoveable, young Delvilehimself!

Her astonishment at this sight almost bereft her of her understanding;it appeared to her supernatural, and she rather believed it was hisghost than himself. Fixed in mute wonder, she stood still thoughterrified, her eyes almost bursting from their sockets to be satisfiedif what they saw was real. 

Delvile, too, was some time speechless; he looked not at her, indeed, with any doubt of her existence, but as if what he had heard was tohim as amazing as to her what she saw. At length, however, tormentedby the dog, who jumpt up to him, licked his hands, and by hisrapturous joy forced himself into notice, he was moved to return hiscaresses, saying, "Yes, _dear Fidel!_ you have a claim indeed tomy attention, and with the fondest gratitude will I cherish you ever!"

At the sound of his voice, Cecilia again began to breathe; and Delvilehaving quieted the dog, now entered the summer-house, saying, as headvanced, "Is this possible!--am I not in a dream?--Good God! is itindeed possible!"

The consternation of doubt and astonishment which had seized everyfaculty of Cecilia, now changed into certainty that Delvile indeed waspresent, all her recollection returned as she listened, to thisquestion, and the wild rambling of fancy with which she hadincautiously indulged her sorrow, rushing suddenly upon her mind, shefelt herself wholly overpowered by consciousness and shame, and sunk, almost fainting, upon a window-seat. 

Delvile instantly flew to her, penetrated with gratitude, and filledwith wonder and delight, which, however internally combated bysensations less pleasant, were too potent for controul, and he pouredforth at her feet the most passionate acknowledgments. 

Cecilia, surprised, affected, and trembling with a thousand emotions, endeavoured to break from him and rise; but, eagerly detaining her, "No, loveliest Miss Beverley, " he cried, "not thus must we now part!this moment only have I discovered what a treasure I was leaving; and, but for Fidel, I had quitted it in ignorance for ever. "

"Indeed, " cried Cecilia, in the extremest agitation, "indeed you maybelieve me Fidel is here quite by accident. --Lady Honoria took himaway, --I knew nothing of the matter, --she stole him, she sent him, shedid every thing herself. "

"O kind Lady Honoria!" cried Delvile, more and more delighted, "howshall I ever thank her!--And did she also tell you to caress and tocherish him?--to talk to him of his master--"

"O heaven!" interrupted Cecilia, in an agony of mortification andshame, "to what has my unguarded folly reduced me!" Then againendeavouring to break from him, "Leave me, Mr Delvile, " she cried, "leave me, or let me pass!--never can I see you more!--never bear youagain in my sight!"

"Come, _dear Fidel!_" cried he, still detaining her, "come andplead for your master! come and ask in his name who _now_ has aproud heart, whose pride _now_ is invincible!"

"Oh go!" cried Cecilia, looking away from him while she spoke, "repeatnot those hateful words, if you wish me not to detest myselfeternally!"

"Ever-lovely Miss Beverley, " cried he, more seriously, "why thisresentment? why all this causeless distress? Has not _my_ heartlong since been known to you? have you not witnessed its sufferings, and been assured of its tenderness? why, then, this untimely reserve?this unabating coldness? Oh why try to rob me of the felicity you haveinadvertently given me! and to sour the happiness of a moment thatrecompenses such exquisite misery!"

"Oh Mr Delvile!" cried she, impatiently, though half softened, "wasthis honourable or right? to steal upon me thus privately--to listento me thus secretly--"

"You blame me, " cried he, "too soon; your own friend, Mrs Charlton, permitted me to come hither in search of you;--then, indeed, when Iheard the sound of your voice--when I heard that voice talk of_Fidel_--of his _master_--"

"Oh stop, stop!" cried she; "I cannot support the recollection! thereis no punishment, indeed, which my own indiscretion does not merit, --but I shall have sufficient in the bitterness of self-reproach!"

"Why will you talk thus, my beloved Miss Beverley? what have youdone, --what, let me ask, have _I_ done, that such infinitedisgrace and depression should follow this little sensibility to apassion so fervent? Does it not render you more dear to me than ever?does it not add new life, new vigour, to the devotion by which I ambound to you?"

"No, no, " cried the mortified Cecilia, who from the moment she foundherself betrayed, believed herself to be lost, "far other is theeffect it will have! and the same mad folly by which I am ruined in myown esteem, will ruin me in yours!--I cannot endure to think of it!--why will you persist in detaining me?--You have filled me with anguishand mortification, --you have taught me the bitterest of lessons, thatof hating and contemning myself!"

"Good heaven, " cried he, much hurt, "what strange apprehensions thusterrify you? are you with me less safe than with yourself? is it myhonour you doubt? is it my integrity you fear? Surely I cannot be solittle known to you; and to make protestations now, would but give anew alarm to a delicacy already too agitated. --Else would I tell youthat more sacred than my life will I hold what I have heard, that thewords just now graven on my heart, shall remain there to eternityunseen; and that higher than ever, not only in my love, but my esteem, is the beautiful speaker. "--

"Ah no!" cried Cecilia, with a sigh, "that, at least, is impossible, for lower than ever is she sunk from deserving it!"

"No, " cried he, with fervour, "she is raised, she is exalted! I findher more excellent and perfect than I had even dared believe her; Idiscover new virtues in the spring of every action; I see what I tookfor indifference, was dignity; I perceive what I imagined the mostrigid insensibility, was nobleness, was propriety, was true greatnessof mind!"

Cecilia was somewhat appeased by this speech; and, after a littlehesitation, she said, with a half smile, "Must I thank you for thisgood-nature in seeking to reconcile me with myself?--or shall Iquarrel with you for flattery, in giving me praise you can so littlethink I merit?"

"Ah!" cried he, "were I to praise as I think of you! were my languagepermitted to accord with my opinion of your worth, you would not thensimply call me a flatterer, you would tell me I was an idolater, andfear at least for my principles, if not for my understanding. "

"I shall have but little right, however, " said Cecilia, again rising, "to arraign your understanding while I act as if bereft of my own. Now, at least, let me pass; indeed you will greatly displease me byany further opposition. "

"Will you suffer me, then, to see you early to-morrow morning?"

"No, Sir; nor the next morning, nor the morning after that! Thismeeting has been wrong, another would be worse; in this I haveaccusation enough for folly, --in another the charge would be far moreheavy. "

"Does Miss Beverley, then, " cried he gravely, "think me capable ofdesiring to see her for mere selfish gratification? of intending totrifle either with her time or her feelings? no; the conference Idesire will be important and decisive. This night I shall devotesolely to deliberation; to-morrow shall be given to action. Withoutsome thinking I dare venture at no plan;--I presume not to communicateto you the various interests that divide me, but the result of themall I can take no denial to your hearing. "

Cecilia, who felt when thus stated the justice of his request, nowopposed it no longer, but insisted upon his instantly departing. 

"True, " cried he, "I must go!--the longer I stay, the more I amfascinated, and the weaker are those reasoning powers of which I nowwant the strongest exertion. " He then repeated his professions ofeternal regard, besought her not to regret the happiness she had givenhim, and after disobeying her injunctions of going till she wasseriously displeased, he only stayed to obtain her pardon, andpermission to be early the next morning, and then, though still slowlyand reluctantly, he left her. 

Scarce was Cecilia again alone, but the whole of what had passedseemed a vision of her imagination. That Delvile should be at Bury, that he should visit her at Mrs Charlton's, surprise her by herself, and discover her most secret thoughts, appeared so strange and soincredible, that, occupied rather by wonder than, thinking, shecontinued almost motionless in the place where he had left her, tillMrs Charlton sent to request that she would return to the house. Shethen enquired if any body was with her, and being answered in thenegative, obeyed the summons. 

Mrs Charlton, with a smile of much meaning, hoped she had had apleasant walk: but Cecilia seriously remonstrated on the dangerousimprudence she had committed in suffering her to be so unguardedlysurprised. Mrs Charlton, however, more anxious for her future andsolid happiness, than for her present apprehensions and delicacy, repented not the step she had taken; and when she gathered fromCecilia the substance of what had past, unmindful of theexpostulations which accompanied it, she thought with exultation thatthe sudden meeting she had permitted, would now, by making known toeach their mutual affection, determine them to defer no longer a unionupon which their mutual peace of mind so much depended. And Cecilia, finding she had been thus betrayed designedly, not inadvertently, could hardly reproach her zeal, though she lamented its indiscretion. 

She then asked by what means he had obtained admission, and madehimself known; and heard that he had enquired at the door for MissBeverley, and, having sent in his name, was shewn into the parlour, where Mrs Charlton, much pleased with his appearance, had suddenlyconceived the little plan which she had executed, of contriving asurprise for Cecilia, from which she rationally expected the veryconsequences that ensued, though the immediate means she had notconjectured. 

The account was still unsatisfactory to Cecilia, who could frame toherself no possible reason for a visit so extraordinary, and sototally inconsistent with his declarations and resolutions. 

This, however, was a matter of but little moment, compared with theother subjects to which the interview had given rise; Delvile, uponwhom so long, though secretly, her dearest hopes of happiness hadrested, was now become acquainted with his power, and knew himself themaster of her destiny; he had quitted her avowedly to decide what itshould be, since his present subject of deliberation included her fatein his own: the next morning he was to call, and acquaint her with hisdecree, not doubting her concurrence which ever way be resolved. 

A subjection so undue, and which she could not but consider asdisgraceful, both shocked and afflicted her; and the reflection thatthe man who of all men she preferred, was acquainted with herpreference, yet hesitated whether to accept or abandon her, mortifiedand provoked her, alternately, occupied her thoughts the whole night, and kept her from peace and from rest. 

CHAPTER iv. 

A PROPOSITION. 

Early the next morning, Delvile again made his appearance. Cecilia, who was at breakfast with Mrs and Miss Charltons, received him withthe most painful confusion, and he was evidently himself in a state ofthe utmost perturbation. Mrs Charlton made a pretence almostimmediately for sending away both her grand-daughters, and then, without taking the trouble of devising one for herself, arose andfollowed them, though Cecilia made sundry signs of solicitation thatshe would stay. 

Finding herself now alone with him, she hastily, and without knowingwhat she said, cried, "How is Mrs Delvile, Sir? Is she still atBristol?"

"At Bristol? no; have you never heard she is returned to DelvileCastle?"

"O, true!--I meant Delvile Castle, --but I hope she found some benefitfrom the waters?"

"She had not, I believe, any occasion to try them. "

Cecilia, ashamed of these two following mistakes, coloured high; butventured not again to speak: and Delvile, who seemed big withsomething he feared to utter, arose, and walked for a few instantsabout the room; after which, exclaiming aloud "How vain is every planwhich passes the present hour!" He advanced to Cecilia, who pretendedto be looking at some work, and seating himself next her, "when weparted yesterday, " he cried, "I presumed to say one night alone shouldbe given to deliberation, --and to-day, this very day to action!--but Iforgot that though in deliberating I had only myself to consult, inacting I was not so independent; and that when my own doubts weresatisfied, and my own resolutions taken, other doubts and otherresolutions must be considered, by which my purposed proceedings mightbe retarded, might perhaps be wholly prevented!"

He paused, but Cecilia, unable to conjecture to what he was leading, made not any answer. 

"Upon you, madam, " he continued, "all that is good or evil of myfuture life, as far as relates to its happiness or misery, will, fromthis very hour, almost solely depend: yet much as I rely upon yourgoodness, and superior as I know you to trifling or affectation, whatI now come to propose--to petition--to entreat--I cannot summoncourage to mention, from a dread of alarming you!"

What next, thought Cecilia, trembling at this introduction, ispreparing for me! does he mean to ask _me_ to solicit MrsDelvile's consent! or from myself must he receive commands that weshould never meet more!

"Is Miss Beverley, " cried he, "determined not to, speak to me? Is shebent upon silence only to intimidate me? Indeed if she knew howgreatly I respect her, she would honour me with more confidence. "

"When, Sir, " cried she, "do you mean to make your tour?"

"Never!" cried he, with fervour, "unless banished by _you_, never!--no, loveliest Miss Beverley, I can now quit you no more!Fortune, beauty, worth and sweetness I had power to relinquish, andsevere as was the task, I compelled myself to perform it, --but when tothese I find joined so attractive a softness, --a pity for mysufferings so unexpectedly gentle no! sweetest Miss Beverley, I canquit you no more!" And then, seizing her hand, with yet greaterenergy, he went on, "I here, " he cried, "offer you my vows, I here ownyou sole arbitress of my fate! I give you not merely the possession ofmy heart, --that, indeed, I had no power to withhold from you, --but Igive you the direction of my conduct, I entreat you to become mycounsellor and guide. Will Miss Beverley accept such an office? Willshe deign to listen to such a prayer?"

"Yes, " cried Cecilia, involuntarily delighted to find that such wasthe result of his night's deliberation, "I am most ready to give youmy counsel; which I now do, --that you set off for the Continentto-morrow morning. "

"O how malicious!" cried he, half laughing, "yet not so immediately doI even request your counsel; something must first be done to qualifyyou for giving it: penetration, skill and understanding, however amplyyou possess them, are not sufficient to fit you for the charge;something still more is requisite, you must be invested with fullerpowers, you must have a right less disputable, and a title, that notalone, inclination, not even judgment alone must sanctify, but whichlaw must enforce, and rites the most solemn support!"

"I think, then, " said Cecilia, deeply blushing, "I must be content toforbear giving any counsel at all, if the qualifications for it are sodifficult of acquirement. "

"Resent not my presumption, " cried he, "my beloved Miss Beverley, butlet the severity of my recent sufferings palliate my present temerity;for where affliction has been deep and serious, causeless andunnecessary misery will find little encouragement; and mine has beenserious indeed! Sweetly, then, permit me, in proportion to itsbitterness, to rejoice in the soft reverse which now flatters me withits approach. "

Cecilia, abashed and uneasy, uncertain of what was to follow, andunwilling to speak till more assured, paused, and then abruptlyexclaimed "I am afraid Mrs Charlton is waiting for me, " and would havehurried away: but Delvile, almost forcibly preventing her, compelledher to stay; and, after a short conversation, on his side the mostimpassioned, and on hers the most confused, obtained from her, what, indeed, after the surprise of the preceding evening she could but illdeny, a frank confirmation of his power over her heart, and aningenuous, though reluctant acknowledgment, how long he had possessedit. 

This confession, made, as affairs now stood, wholly in opposition toher judgment, was torn from her by an impetuous urgency which she hadnot presence of mind to resist, and with which Delvile, whenparticularly animated, had long been accustomed to overpower allopposition. The joy with which he heard it, though but little mixedwith wonder, was as violent as the eagerness with which he had soughtit; yet it was not of long duration, a sudden, and most painfulrecollection presently quelled it, and even in the midst of hisrapturous acknowledgment, seemed to strike him to the heart. 

Cecilia, soon perceiving both in his countenance and manner analteration that shocked her, bitterly repented an avowal she couldnever recall, and looked aghast with expectation and dread. 

Delvile, who with quickness saw a change of expression in her of whichin himself he was unconscious, exclaimed, with much emotion, "O howtransient is human felicity! How rapidly fly those rare and exquisitemoments in which it is perfect! Ah! sweetest Miss Beverley, what wordsshall I find to soften what I have now to reveal! to tell you that, after goodness, candour, generosity such as yours, a request, asupplication remains yet to be uttered that banishes me, if refused, from your presence for ever!"

Cecilia, extremely dismayed, desired to know what it was: an evidentdread of offending her kept him some time from proceeding, but atlength, after repeatedly expressing his fears of her disapprobation, and a repugnance even on his own part to the very measure he wasobliged to urge, he acknowledged that all his hopes of being everunited to her, rested upon obtaining her consent to an immediate andsecret marriage. 

Cecilia, thunderstruck by this declaration, remained for a fewinstants too much confounded to speak; but when he was beginning anexplanatory apology, she started up, and glowing with indignation, said, "I had flattered myself, Sir, that both my character and myconduct, independent of my situation in life, would have exempted meat all times from a proposal which I shall ever think myself degradedby having heard. "

And then she was again going, but Delvile still preventing her, said"I knew too well how much you would be alarmed, and such was my dreadof your displeasure that it had power even to embitter the happiness Isought with so much earnestness, and to render your condescensioninsufficient to ensure it. Yet wonder not at my scheme; wild as it mayappear, it is the result of deliberation, and censurable as it mayseem, it springs not from unworthy motives. "

"Whatever may be your motives with respect to yourself, Sir, " saidCecilia, "with respect to me they must certainly be disgraceful; Iwill not, therefore, listen to them. "

"You wrong me cruelly, " cried he, with warmth, "and a moment'sreflection must tell you that however distinct may be our honour orour disgrace in every other instance, in that by which we should beunited, they must inevitably be the same: and far sooner would Ivoluntarily relinquish you, than be myself accessory to tainting thatdelicacy of which the unsullied purity has been the chief source of myadmiration. "

"Why, then, " cried Cecilia, reproachfully, "have you mentioned to mesuch a project?"

"Circumstances the most singular, and necessity the most unavoidable, "he answered, "should alone have ever tempted me to form it. No longerago than yesterday morning, I believed myself incapable of evenwishing it; but extraordinary situations call for extraordinaryresolutions, and in private as well as public life, palliate, atleast, extraordinary actions. Alas! the proposal which so much offendsyou is my final resource! it is the sole barrier between myself andperpetual misery!--the only expedient in my power to save me frometernally parting from you!--for I am compelled now cruelly toconfess, that my family, I am certain, will never consent to ourunion!"

"Neither, then, Sir, " cried Cecilia, with great spirit, "will I! Thedisdain I may meet with I pretend not to retort, but wilfully toencounter, were meanly to deserve it. I will enter into no family inopposition to its wishes, I will consent to no alliance that mayexpose me to indignity. Nothing is so contagious as contempt!--Theexample of your friends might work powerfully upon yourself, and whoshall dare assure me you would not catch the infection?"

"_I_ dare assure you!" cried he; "hasty you may perhaps think me, and somewhat impetuous I cannot deny myself; but believe me not of sowretched a character as to be capable, in any affair of moment, offickleness or caprice. "

"But what, Sir, is my security to the contrary? Have you not thismoment avowed that but yesterday you held in abhorrence the very planthat to-day you propose? And may you not to-morrow resume again thesame opinion?"

"Cruel Miss Beverley! how unjust is this inference! If yesterday Idisapproved what to-day I recommend, a little recollection must surelytell you why: and that not my opinion, but my situation is changed. "

The conscious Cecilia here turned away her head; too certain healluded to the discovery of her partiality. 

"Have you not yourself, " he continued, "witnessed the steadiness of mymind? Have you not beheld me fly, when I had power to pursue, andavoid, when I had opportunity to seek you? After witnessing myconstancy upon such trying occasions, is it equitable, is it right tosuspect me of wavering?"

"But what, " cried she, "was the constancy which brought you intoSuffolk?--When all occasion was over for our meeting any more, whenyou told me you were going abroad, and took leave of me for ever, --where, then, was your steadiness in this unnecessary journey?"

"Have a care, " cried he, half smiling, and taking a letter from hispocket, "have a care, upon this point, how you provoke me to spew myjustification!"

"Ah!" cried Cecilia, blushing, "'tis some trick of Lady Honoria!"

"No, upon my honour. The authority is less doubtful: I believe Ishould hardly else have regarded it. "

Cecilia, much alarmed, held out her hand for the letter; and lookingfirst at the end was much astonished to see the name of Biddulph. Shethen cast her eye over the beginning, and when she saw her own name, read the following paragraph. 

"Miss Beverley, as you doubtless know, is returned into Suffolk; everybody here saw her with the utmost surprize; from the moment I hadheard of her residence in Delvile Castle, I had given her up for lost:but, upon her unexpected appearance among us again, I was weak enoughonce more to make trial of her heart. I soon found, however, that thepain of a second rejection _you_ might have spared me, and thatthough she had quitted Delvile Castle, she had not for nothing enteredit: at the sound of your name, she blushes; at the mention of yourillness, she turns pale; and the dog you have given her, which Irecollected immediately, is her darling companion. Oh happy Delvile!yet so lovely a conquest you abandon. --"

Cecilia could read no more; the letter dropt from her hand: to findherself thus by her own emotions betrayed, made her instantly concludeshe was universally discovered: and turning sick at the supposition, all her spirit forsook her, and she burst into tears. 

"Good heaven, " cried Delvile, extremely shocked, "what has thusaffected you? Can the jealous surmises of an apprehensive rival--"

"Do not talk to me, " interrupted she, impatiently, "and do not detainme, --I am extremely disturbed, --I wish to be alone, --I beg, I evenentreat you would leave me. "

"I will go, I will obey you in every thing!" cried he, eagerly, "tellme but when I may return, and when you will suffer me to explain toyou all the motives of my proposal?"

"Never, never!" cried she, with earnestness, "I am sufficientlylowered already, but never will I intrude myself into a family thatdisdains me!"

"Disdains? No, you are revered in it! who could disdain you! Thatfatal clause alone--"

"Well, well, pray leave me; indeed I cannot hear you; I am unfit forargument, and all reasoning now is nothing less than cruelty. "

"I am gone, " cried he, "this moment! I would not even wish to takeadvantage of your agitation in order to work upon your sensibility. Mydesire is not to surprize, but to reconcile you to my plan. What is itI seek in Miss Beverley? An Heiress? No, as such she has seen I couldresist her; nor yet the light trifler of a spring or two, neglectedwhen no longer a novelty; no, no!--it is a companion for ever, it is asolace for every care, it is a bosom friend through every period oflife that I seek in Miss Beverley! Her esteem, therefore, to me is asprecious as her affection, for how can I hope her friendship in thewinter of my days, if their brighter and gayer season is darkened bydoubts of my integrity? All shall be clear and explicit; no latentcause of uneasiness shall disturb our future quiet: we will now besincere, that hereafter we may be easy; and sweetly in uncloudedfelicity, time shall glide away imperceptibly, and we will make aninterest with each other in the gaiety of youth, to bear with theinfirmities of age, and alleviate them by kindness and sympathy. Andthen shall my soothing Cecilia--"

"O say no more!" interrupted she, softened in her own despite by aplan so consonant to her wishes, "what language is this! how improperfor you to use, or me to hear!"

She then very earnestly insisted upon his going; and after a thousandtimes taking leave and returning, promising obedience, yet pursuinghis own way, he at length said if she would consent to receive aletter from him, he would endeavour to commit what he had tocommunicate to paper, since their mutual agitation made him unable toexplain himself with clearness, and rather hurt his cause thanassisted it, by leaving all his arguments unfinished and obscure. 

Another dispute now arose; Cecilia protesting she would receive noletter, and hear nothing upon the subject; and Delvile impetuouslydeclaring he would submit to no award without being first heard. Atlength he conquered, and at length he departed. 

Cecilia then felt her whole heart sink within her at the unhappinessof her situation. She considered herself now condemned to refuseDelvile herself, as the only condition upon which he even solicitedher favour, neither the strictness of her principles, nor the delicacyof her mind, would suffer her to accept. Her displeasure at theproposal had been wholly unaffected, and she regarded it as an injuryto her character ever to have received it; yet that Delvile's pride ofheart should give way to his passion, that he should love her with somuch fondness as to relinquish for her the ambitious schemes of hisfamily, and even that darling name which so lately seemed annexed tohis existence, were circumstances to which she was not insensible, andproofs of tenderness and regard which she had thought incompatiblewith the general spirit of his disposition. Yet however by these shewas gratified, she resolved never to comply with so humiliating ameasure, but to wait the consent of his friends, or renounce him forever. 

CHAPTER v. 

A LETTER. 

As soon as Mrs Charlton was acquainted with the departure of youngDelvile, she returned to Cecilia, impatient to be informed what hadpassed. The narration she heard both hurt and astonished her; thatCecilia, the Heiress of such a fortune, the possessor of so muchbeauty, descended of a worthy family, and formed and educated to gracea noble one, should be rejected by people to whom her wealth would bemost useful, and only in secret have their alliance proposed to her, she deemed an indignity that called for nothing but resentment, andapproved and enforced the resolution of her young friend to resist allsolicitations which Mr and Mrs Delvile did not second themselves. 

About, two hours after Delvile was gone, his letter arrived. Ceciliaopened it with trepidation, and read as follows. 

_To Miss Beverley. 

September_ 20, 1779. 

What could be the apprehensions, the suspicions of Miss Beverley whenso earnestly she prohibited my writing? From a temper so unguarded asmine could she fear any subtlety of doctrine? Is my character solittle known to her that she can think me capable of craft orduplicity? Had I even the desire, I have neither the address nor thepatience to practice them; no, loveliest Miss Beverley, thoughsometimes by vehemence I may incautiously offend, by sophistry, believe me, I never shall injure: my ambition, as I have told you, isto convince, not beguile, and my arguments shall be simple as myprofessions shall be sincere. 

Yet how again may I venture to mention a proposal which so latelyalmost before you had heard you rejected? Suffer me, however, toassure you it resulted neither from insensibility to your delicacy, nor to my own duty; I made it, on the contrary, with that reluctanceand timidity which were given me by an apprehension that both seemedto be offended by it:--but alas! already I have said what with grief Imust repeat, I have no resource, no alternative, between receiving thehonour of your hand in secret or foregoing you for ever. 

You will wonder, you may well wonder at such a declaration; and againthat severe renunciation with which you wounded me, will tremble onyour lips, --Oh there let it stop! nor let the air again be agitatedwith sounds so discordant!

In that cruel and heart-breaking moment when I tore myself from you atDelvile Castle, I confessed to you the reason of my flight, and Idetermined to see you no more. I named not to you, then, my family, the potency of my own objections against daring to solicit your favourrendering theirs immaterial: my own are now wholly removed, but theirsremain in full force. 

My father, descended of a race which though decaying in wealth, isunsubdued in pride, considers himself as the guardian of the honour ofhis house, to which he holds the name of his ancestors inseparablyannexed my mother, born of the same family, and bred to the sameideas, has strengthened this opinion by giving it the sanction of herown. 

Such being their sentiments; you will not, madam, be surprised thattheir only son, the sole inheritor of their fortune, and sole objectof their expectations, should early have admitted the same. Indeedalmost the first lesson I was taught was that of reverencing thefamily from which I am descended, and the name to which I am born. Iwas bid consider myself as its only remaining support, and sedulouslyinstructed neither to act nor think but with a view to itsaggrandizement and dignity. 

Thus, unchecked by ourselves, and uncontrouled by the world, thishaughty self-importance acquired by time a strength, and by mutualencouragement a firmness, which Miss Beverley alone could possibly, Ibelieve, have shaken! What, therefore, was my secret alarm, when firstI was conscious of the force of her attractions, and found my mindwholly occupied with admiration of her excellencies! All that pridecould demand, and all to which ambition could aspire, all thathappiness could covet, or the most scrupulous delicacy exact, in her Ifound united; and while my heart was enslaved by her charms, myunderstanding exulted in its fetters. Yet to forfeit my name, to giveup for-ever a family which upon me rested its latest expectations, --Honour, I thought forbad it, propriety and manly spirit revolted atthe sacrifice. The renunciation of my birth-right seemed a desertionof the post in which I was stationed: I forbore, therefore, even in mywishes, to solicit your favour, and vigorously determined to fly youas dangerous to my peace, because unattainable without dishonour. 

Such was the intended regulation of my conduct at the time I receivedBiddulph's letter; in three days I was to leave England; my father, with much persuasion, had consented to my departure; my mother, whopenetrated into my motives, had never opposed it: but how great wasthe change wrought upon my mind by reading that letter! my steadinessforsook me, my resolution wavered; yet I thought him deceived, andattributed his suspicions to jealousy: but still, Fidel I knew wasmissing--and to hear he was your darling companion--was it possible toquit England in a state of such uncertainty? to be harassed in distantclimates with conjectures I might then never satisfy? No; I told myfriends I must visit Biddulph before I left the kingdom, and promisingto return to them in three or four days, I hastily set out forSuffolk, and rested not till I arrived at Mrs Charlton's. 

What a scene there awaited me! to behold the loved mistress of myheart, the opposed, yet resistless object of my fondest admiration, caressing an animal she knew to be mine, mourning over him hismaster's ill health, and sweetly recommending to him fidelity, --Ah!forgive the retrospection, I will dwell on it no longer. Little, indeed, had I imagined with what softness the dignity of Miss Beverleywas blended, though always conscious that her virtues, herattractions, and her excellencies, would reflect lustre upon thehighest station to which human grandeur could raise her, and wouldstill be more exalted than her rank, though that were the most eminentupon earth. --And had there been a thousand, and ten thousand obstaclesto oppose my addressing her, vigorously and undauntedly would I havecombated with them all, in preference to yielding to this singleobjection!

Let not the frankness of this declaration irritate you, but rather letit serve to convince you of the sincerity of what follows: various asare the calamities of life which may render me miserable, YOU only, among even its chosen felicities, have power to make me happy. Fame, honours, wealth, ambition, were insufficient without you; all chanceof internal peace, and every softer hope is now centered in yourfavour, and to lose you, from whatever cause, ensures me wretchednessunmitigated. With respect therefore to myself, the die is finallycast, and the conflict between bosom felicity and family pride isdeliberately over. This name which so vainly I have cherished and sopainfully supported, I now find inadequate to recompense me for thesacrifice which its preservation requires. I part with it, I own, withregret that the surrender is necessary; yet is it rather an imaginarythan an actual evil, and though a deep wound to pride, no offence tomorality. 

Thus have I laid open to you my whole heart, confessed myperplexities, acknowledged my vain-glory, and exposed with equalsincerity the sources of my doubts, and the motives of my decision:but now, indeed, how to proceed I know not; the difficulties which areyet to encounter I fear to enumerate, and the petition I have to urgeI have scarce courage to mention. 

My family, mistaking ambition for honour, and rank for dignity, havelong planned a splendid connection for me, to which though myinvariable repugnance has stopt any advances, their wishes and theirviews immovably adhere. I am but too certain they will now listen tono other. I dread, therefore, to make a trial where I despair ofsuccess, I know not how to risk a prayer with those who may silence meby a command. 

In a situation so desperate, what then remains? Must I make anapplication with a certainty of rejection, and then mock all authorityby acting in defiance of it? Or, harder task yet! relinquish mydearest hopes when no longer persuaded of their impropriety? Ah!sweetest Miss Beverley, end the struggle at once! My happiness, mypeace, are wholly in your power, for the moment of our union securesthem for life. 

It may seem to you strange that I should thus purpose to brave thefriends whom I venture not to entreat; but from my knowledge of theircharacters and sentiments I am certain I have no other resource. Theirfavourite principles were too early imbibed to be now at this lateseason eradicated. Slaves that we all are to habits, and dupes toappearances, jealous guardians of our pride, to which our comfort issacrificed, and even our virtue made subservient, what conviction canbe offered by reason, to notions that exist but by prejudice? Theyhave been cherished too long for rhetorick to remove them, they canonly be expelled by all-powerful Necessity. Life is, indeed, toobrief, and success too precarious, to trust, in any case wherehappiness is concerned, the extirpation of deep-rooted and darlingopinions, to the slow-working influence of argument and disquisition. 

Yet bigotted as they are to rank and family, they adore Miss Beverley, and though their consent to the forfeiture of their name might foreverbe denied, when once they beheld her the head and ornament oftheir house, her elegance and accomplishments joined to the splendourof her fortune, would speedily make them forget the plans which nowwholly absorb them. Their sense of honour is in nothing inferior totheir sense of high birth; your condescension, therefore, would befelt by them in its fullest force, and though, during their firstsurprize, they might be irritated against their son, they would makeit the study of their lives that the lady who for him had done somuch, should never, through their means, repine for herself. 

With regard to settlements, the privacy of our union would not affectthem: one Confident we must unavoidably trust, and I would deposit inthe hands of whatever person you would name, a bond by which I wouldengage myself to settle both your fortune and my own, according to thearbitration of our mutual friends. The time for secrecy though painfulwould be short, and even from the altar, if you desired it, I wouldhasten to Delvile Castle. Not one Of my friends should you see tillthey waited upon you themselves to solicit your presence at theirhouse, till our residence elsewhere was fixed. 

Oh loveliest Cecilia, from a dream Of happiness so sweet awaken menot! from a plan Of felicity so attractive turn not away! If one partof it is unpleasant, reject not therefore all; and since without somedrawback no earthly bliss is attainable, do not, by a refinement tooscrupulous for the short period of our existence, deny yourself thatdelight which your benevolence will afford you, in snatching from thepangs of unavailing regret and misery, the gratefullest of men in thehumblest and most devoted of your servants, MORTIMER DELVILE. 

Cecilia read and re-read this letter, but with a perturbation of mindthat made her little able to weigh its contents. Paragraph byparagraph her sentiments varied, and her determination was changed:the earnestness of his supplication now softened her into compliance, the acknowledged pride of his family now irritated her intoresentment, and the confession of his own regret now sickened her intodespondence. She meant in an immediate answer, to have written a finaldismission; but though proof against his entreaties, because notconvinced by his arguments, there was something in the conclusion ofhis letter that staggered her resolution. 

Those scruples and that refinement against which he warned her, sheherself thought might be overstrained, and to gratify unnecessarypunctilio, the short period of existence be rendered causelesslyunhappy. He had truly said that their union would be no offence tomorality, and with respect merely to pride, why should that be spared?He knew he possessed her heart, she had long been certain of his, hercharacter had early gained the affection of his mother, and theessential service which an income such as hers must do the family, would soon be felt too powerfully to make her connection with itregretted. 

These reflections were so pleasant she knew not how to discard them;and the consciousness that her secret was betrayed not only tohimself, but to Mr Biddulph, Lord Ernolf, Lady Honoria Pemberton, andMrs Delvile, gave them additional force, by making it probable she wasyet more widely suspected. But still her delicacy and her principlesrevolted against a conduct of which the secrecy seemed to imply theimpropriety. "How shall I meet Mrs Delvile, " cried she, "after anaction so clandestine? How, after praise such as she has bestowed uponme, bear the severity of her eye, when she thinks I have seduced fromher the obedience of her son! A son who is the sole solace and firsthope of her existence, whose virtues make all her happiness, and whosefilial piety is her only glory!--And well may she glory in a son suchas Delvile! Nobly has he exerted himself in situations the mostdifficult, his family and his ideas of honour he has preferred to hispeace and health, he has fulfilled with spirit and integrity thevarious, the conflicting duties of life. Even now, perhaps, in hispresent application, he may merely think himself bound by knowing meno longer free, and his generous sensibility to the weakness he hasdiscovered, without any of the conviction to which he pretends, mayhave occasioned this proposal!"

A suggestion so mortifying again changed her determination; and thetears of Henrietta Belfield, with the letter which she had surprizedin her hand recurring to her memory, all her thoughts turned once moreupon rejecting him for-ever. 

In this fluctuating state of mind she found writing impracticable;while uncertain what to wish, to decide was impossible. She disdainedcoquetry, she was superior to trifling, the candour and openness ofDelvile had merited all her sincerity, and therefore while any doubtremained, with herself, she held it unworthy her character to tell himshe had none. 

Mrs Charlton, upon reading the letter, became again the advocate ofDelvile; the frankness with which he had stated his difficultiesassured her of his probity, and by explaining his former conduct, satisfied her with the rectitude of his future intentions. "Do not, therefore, my dear child, " cried she, "become the parent of your ownmisery by refusing him; he deserves you alike from his principles andhis affection, and the task would both be long and melancholy todisengage him from your heart. I see not, however, the least occasionfor the disgrace of a private marriage; I know not any family to whichyou would not be an honour, and those who feel not your merit, arelittle worth pleasing. Let Mr Delvile, therefore, apply openly to hisfriends, and if they refuse their consent, be their prejudices theirreward. You are freed from all obligations where caprice only canraise objections, and you may then, in the face of the world, vindicate your choice. "

The wishes of Cecilia accorded with this advice, though the generaltenour of Delvile's letter gave her little reason to expect he wouldfollow it. 

CHAPTER vi. 

A DISCUSSION. 

The day past away, and Cecilia had yet written no answer; the eveningcame, and her resolution was still unfixed. Delvile, at length, wasagain announced; and though she dreaded trusting herself to hisentreaties, the necessity of hastening some decision deterred her fromrefusing to see him. 

Mrs Charlton was with her when he entered the room; he attempted atfirst some general conversation, though the anxiety of his mind wasstrongly pictured upon his face. Cecilia endeavoured also to talk uponcommon topics, though her evident embarrassment spoke the absence ofher thoughts. 

Delvile at length, unable any longer to bear suspence, turned to MrsCharlton, and said, "You are probably acquainted, madam, with thepurport of the letter I had the honour of sending to Miss Beverleythis morning?"

"Yes, Sir, " answered the old lady, "and you need desire little morethan that her opinion of it may be as favourable as mine. "

Delvile bowed and thanked her; and looking at Cecilia, to whom heventured not to speak, he perceived in her countenance a mixture ofdejection and confusion, that told him whatever might be her opinion, it had by no means encreased her happiness. 

"But why, Sir, " said Mrs Charlton, "should you be thus sure of thedisapprobation of your friends? had you not better hear what they haveto say?"

"I _know_, madam, what they have to say, " returned he; "fortheir language and their principles have been invariable from mybirth: to apply to them, therefore, for a concession which I amcertain they will not grant, were only a cruel device to lay all mymisery to their account. "

"And if they are so perverse, they deserve from you nothing better, "said Mrs Charlton; "speak to them, however; you will then have doneyour duty; and if they are obstinately unjust, you will have acquireda right to act for yourself. "

"To mock their authority, " answered Delvile, "would be more offensivethan to oppose it: to solicit their approbation, and then act indefiance of it, might justly provoke their indignation. --No; if atlast I am reduced to appeal to them, by their decision I must abide. "

To this Mrs Charlton could make no answer, and in a few minutes sheleft the room. 

"And is such, also, " said Delvile, "the opinion of Miss Beverley? hasshe doomed me to be wretched, and does she wish that doom to be signedby my nearest friends!"

"If your friends, Sir, " said Cecilia, "are so undoubtedly inflexible, it were madness, upon any plan, to risk their displeasure. "

"To entreaty, " he answered, "they will be inflexible, but not toforgiveness. My father, though haughty, dearly, even passionatelyloves me; my mother, though high-spirited, is just, noble, andgenerous. She is, indeed, the most exalted of women, and her powerover my mind I am unaccustomed to resist. Miss Beverley alone seemsborn to be her daughter--"

"No, no, " interrupted Cecilia, "as her daughter she rejects me!"

"She loves, she adores you!" cried he warmly; and were I not certainshe feels your excellencies as they ought to be felt, my venerationfor you _both_ should even yet spare you my present supplication. But you would become, I am certain, the first blessing of her life; inyou she would behold all the felicity of her son, --his restoration tohealth, to his country, to his friends!"

"O Sir, " cried Cecilia, with emotion, "how deep a trench of realmisery do you sink, in order to raise this pile of fancied happiness!But I will not be responsible for your offending such a mother;scarcely can you honour her yourself more than I do; and I heredeclare most solemnly--"

"O stop!" interrupted Delvile, "and resolve not till you have heardme. Would you, were she no more, were my father also no more, wouldyou yet persist in refusing me?"

"Why should you ask me?" said Cecilia, blushing; "you would then beyour own agent, and perhaps--"

She hesitated, and Delvile vehemently exclaimed, "Oh make me not amonster! force me not to desire the death of the very beings by whom Ilive! weaken not the bonds of affection by which they are endeared tome, and compel me not to wish them no more as the sole barriers to myhappiness!"

"Heaven forbid!" cried Cecilia, "could I believe you so impious, Ishould suffer little indeed in desiring your eternal absence. "

"Why then only upon their extinction must I rest my hope of yourfavour?"

Cecilia, staggered and distressed by this question, could make noanswer. Delvile, perceiving her embarrassment, redoubled his urgency;and before she had power to recollect herself, she had almostconsented to his plan, when Henrietta Belfield rushing into hermemory, she hastily exclaimed, "One doubt there is, which I know nothow to mention, but ought to have cleared up;--you are acquaintedwith--you remember Miss Belfield?"

"Certainly; but what of Miss Belfield that can raise a doubt in themind of Miss Beverley?"

Cecilia coloured, and was silent. 

"Is it possible, " continued he, "you could ever for an instantsuppose--but I cannot even name a supposition so foreign to allpossibility. "

"She is surely very amiable?"

"Yes, " answered he, "she is innocent, gentle, and engaging; and Iheartily wish she were in a better situation. "

"Did you ever occasionally, or by any accident, correspond with her?"

"Never in my life. "

"And were not your visits to the brother _sometimes_--"

"Have a care, " interrupted he, laughing, "lest I reverse the question, and ask if your visits to the sister were not _sometimes_ for thebrother! But what does this mean? Could Miss Beverley imagine that_after_ knowing her, the charms of Miss Belfield could put me inany danger?"

Cecilia, bound in delicacy and friendship not to betray the tender andtrusting Henrietta, and internally satisfied of his innocence by hisfrankness, evaded any answer; and would now have done with thesubject; but Delvile, eager wholly to exculpate himself, though by nomeans displeased at an enquiry which shewed so much interest in hisaffections, continued his explanation. 

"Miss Belfield has, I grant, an attraction in the simplicity of hermanners which charms by its singularity: her heart, too, seems allpurity, and her temper all softness. I have not, you find, been blindto her merit; on the contrary, I have both admired and pitied her. Butfar indeed is she removed from all chance of rivalry in my heart! Acharacter such as hers for a while is irresistibly alluring; but whenits novelty is over, simplicity uninformed becomes wearisome, andsoftness without dignity is too indiscriminate to give delight. Wesigh for entertainment, when cloyed by mere sweetness; and heavilydrags on the load of life when the companion of our social hours wantsspirit, intelligence, and cultivation. With Miss Beverley all these--"

"Talk not of all these, " cried Cecilia, "when one single obstacle haspower to render them valueless. "

"But now, " cried he, "that obstacle is surmounted. "

"Surmounted only for a moment! for even in your letter this morningyou confess the regret with which it fills you. "

"And why should I deceive you? Why pretend to think with pleasure, oreven with indifference, of an obstacle which has had thus long thepower to make me miserable? But where is happiness without allay? Isperfect bliss the condition of humanity? Oh if we refuse to taste ittill in its last state of refinement, how shall the cup of evil beever from our lips?"

"How indeed!" said Cecilia, with a sigh; "the regret, I believe, willremain eternally upon your mind, and she, perhaps, who should cause, might soon be taught to partake of it. "

"O Miss Beverley! how have I merited this severity? Did I make myproposals lightly? Did I suffer my eagerness to conquer my reason?Have I not, on the contrary, been steady and considerate? neitherbiassed by passion nor betrayed by tenderness?"

"And yet in what, " said Cecilia, "consists this boasted steadiness? Iperceived it indeed, at Delvile Castle, but here--"

"The pride of heart which supported me there, " cried he, "will supportme no longer; what sustained my firmness, but your apparent seventy?What enabled me to fly you, but your invariable coldness? The rigourwith which I trampled upon my feelings I thought fortitude andspirit, --but I knew not then the pitying sympathy of Cecilia!"

"O that you knew it not yet!" cried she, blushing; "before that fatalaccident you thought of me, I believe, in a manner far morehonourable. "

"Impossible! differently, I thought of you, but never, better, neverso well as now. I then represented you all lovely in beauty, allperfect in goodness and virtue; but it was virtue in its highestmajesty, not, as now, blended with the softest sensibility. "

"Alas!" said Cecilia, "how the portrait is faded!"

"No, it is but more from the life: it is the sublimity of an angel, mingled with all that is attractive in woman. But who is the friend wemay venture to trust? To whom may I give my bond? And from whom may Ireceive a treasure which for the rest of my life will constitute allits felicity?"

"Where can _I_, " cried Cecilia, "find a friend, who, in thiscritical moment will instruct me how to act!"

"You will find one, " answered he, "in your own bosom: ask but yourselfthis plain question; will any virtue be offended by your honouring mewith your hand?"

"Yes; duty will be offended, since it is contrary to the will of yourparents. "

"But is there no time for emancipation? Am not I of an age to chusefor myself the partner of my life? Will not you in a few days be theuncontrolled mistress of your actions? Are we not both independent?Your ample fortune all your own, and the estates of my father soentailed they must unavoidably be mine?"

"And are these, " said Cecilia, "considerations to set us free from ourduty?"

"No, but they are circumstances to relieve us from slavery. Let me notoffend you if I am still more explicit. When no law, human or divine, can be injured by our union, when one motive of pride is all that canbe opposed to a thousand motives of convenience and happiness, whyshould we _both_ be made unhappy, merely lest that pride shouldlose its gratification?"

This question, which so often and so angrily she had revolved in herown mind, again silenced her; and Delvile, with the eagerness ofapproaching success, redoubled his solicitations. 

"Be mine, " he cried, "sweetest Cecilia, and all will go well. To referme to my friends is, effectually, to banish me for ever. Spare me, then, the unavailing task; and save me from the resistless entreatiesof a mother, whose every desire I have held sacred, whose wish hasbeen my law, and whose commands I have implicitly, invariably obeyed!Oh generously save me from the dreadful alternative of wounding hermaternal heart by a peremptory refusal, or of torturing my own withpangs to which it is unequal by an extorted obedience!"

"Alas!" cried Cecilia, "how utterly impossible I can relieve you!"

"And why? once mine, irrevocably mine---. "

"No, that would but irritate, --and irritate past hope of pardon. "

"Indeed you are mistaken: to your merit they are far from insensible, and your fortune is just what they wish. Trust me, therefore, when Iassure you that their displeasure, which both respect and justice willguard them from ever shewing _you_, will soon die wholly away. Ispeak not merely from my hopes; in judging my own friends, I considerhuman nature in general. Inevitable evils are ever best supported. Itis suspence, it is hope that make the food of misery; certainty isalways endured, because known to be past amendment, and felt to givedefiance to struggling. "

"And can you, " cried Cecilia, "with reasoning so desperate besatisfied?

"In a situation so extraordinary as ours, " answered he, "there is noother. The voice of the world at large will be all in our favour. Ourunion neither injures our fortunes, nor taints our morality: with thecharacter of each the other is satisfied, and both must be alikeexculpated from mercenary views of interest, or romantic contempt ofpoverty; what right have we, then, to repine at an objection which, however potent, is single? Surely none. Oh if wholly unchecked werethe happiness I now have in view, if no foul storm sometimes loweredover the prospect, and for the moment obscured its brightness, howcould my heart find room for joy so superlative? The whole world mightrise against me as the first man in it who had nothing left to wish!"

Cecilia, whose own hopes aided this reasoning, found not much tooppose to it; and with little more of entreaty, and still less ofargument, Delvile at length obtained her consent to his plan. Fearfully, indeed, and with unfeigned reluctance she gave it, but itwas the only alternative with a separation for-ever, to which she heldnot the necessity adequate to the pain. 

The thanks of Delvile were as vehement as had been his entreaties, which yet, however, were not at an end; the concession she had madewas imperfect, unless its performance were immediate, and he nowendeavoured to prevail with her to be his before the expiration of aweek. 

Here, however, his task ceased to be difficult; Cecilia, as ingenuousby nature as she was honourable from principle, having once broughther mind to consent to his proposal, sought not by studieddifficulties to enhance the value of her compliance: the great pointresolved upon, she held all else of too little importance for acontest. 

Mrs Charlton was now called in, and acquainted with the result oftheir conference. Her approbation by no means followed the scheme ofprivacy; yet she was too much rejoiced in seeing her young friend nearthe period of her long suspence and uneasiness, to oppose any planwhich might forward their termination. 

Delvile then again begged to know what male confidant might beentrusted with their project. 

Mr Monckton immediately occurred to Cecilia, though the certainty ofhis ill-will to the cause made all application to him disagreeable:but his long and steady friendship for her, his readiness to counseland assist her, and the promises she had occasionally made, not to actwithout his advice, all concurred to persuade her that in a matter ofsuch importance, she owed to him her confidence, and should beculpable to proceed without it. Upon him, therefore, she fixed; yetfinding in herself a repugnance insuperable to acquainting him withher situation, she agreed that Delvile, who instantly proposed to beher messenger, should open to him the affair, and prepare him fortheir meeting. 

Delvile then, rapid in thought and fertile in expedients, with acelerity and vigour which bore down all objections, arranged the wholeconduct of the business. To avoid suspicion, he determined instantlyto quit her, and, as soon as he had executed his commission with MrMonckton, to hasten to London, that the necessary preparations fortheir marriage might be made with dispatch and secrecy. He purposed, also, to find out Mr Belfield; that he might draw up the bond withwhich he meant to entrust Mr Monckton. This measure Cecilia would haveopposed, but he refused to listen to her. Mrs Charlton herself, thoughher age and infirmities had long confined her to her own house, gratified Cecilia upon this critical occasion with consenting toaccompany her to the altar. Mr Monckton was depended upon for givingher away, and a church in London was the place appointed for theperformance of the ceremony. In three days the principal difficultiesto the union would be removed by Cecilia's coming of age, and in fivedays it was agreed that they should actually meet in town. The momentthey were married Delvile promised to set off for the castle, while inanother chaise, Cecilia returned to Mrs Charlton's. This settled, heconjured her to be punctual, and earnestly recommending himself to herfidelity and affection, he bid her adieu. 

CHAPTER vii. 

A RETROSPECTION. 

Left now to herself, sensations unfelt before filled the heart ofCecilia. All that had passed for a while appeared a dream; her ideaswere indistinct, her memory was confused, her faculties seemed all outof order, and she had but an imperfect consciousness either of thetransaction in which she had just been engaged, or of the promise shehad bound herself to fulfil: even truth from imagination she scarcelycould separate; all was darkness and doubt, inquietude and disorder!

But when at length her recollection more clearly returned, and hersituation appeared to her such as it really was, divested alike offalse terrors or delusive expectations, she found herself stillfurther removed from tranquility. 

Hitherto, though no stranger to sorrow, which the sickness and earlyloss of her friends had first taught her to feel, and which thesubsequent anxiety of her own heart had since instructed her to bear, she had yet invariably possessed the consolation of self-approvingreflections: but the step she was now about to take, all herprinciples opposed; it terrified her as undutiful, it shocked her asclandestine, and scarce was Delvile out of sight, before she regrettedher consent to it as the loss of her self-esteem, and believed, evenif a reconciliation took place, the remembrance of a wilful faultwould still follow her, blemish in her own eyes the character she hadhoped to support, and be a constant allay to her happiness, by tellingher how unworthily she had obtained it. 

Where frailty has never been voluntary, nor error stubborn, where thepride of early integrity is unsubdued, and the first purity ofinnocence is inviolate, how fearfully delicate, how "tremblinglyalive, " is the conscience of man! strange, that what in its firststate is so tender, can in its last become so callous!

Compared with the general lot of human misery, Cecilia had sufferednothing; but compared with the exaltation of ideal happiness, she hadsuffered much; willingly, however, would she again have borne all thathad distressed her, experienced the same painful suspence, endured thesame melancholy parting, and gone through the same cruel task ofcombating inclination with reason, to have relieved her virtuous mindfrom the new-born and intolerable terror of conscientious reproaches. 

The equity of her notions permitted her not from the earnestness ofDelvile's entreaties to draw any palliation for her consent to hisproposal; she was conscious that but for her own too great facilitythose entreaties would have been ineffectual, since she well knew howlittle from any other of her admirers they would have availed. 

But chiefly her affliction and repentance hung upon Mrs Delvile, whomshe loved, reverenced and honoured, whom she dreaded to offend, andwhom she well knew expected from her even exemplary virtue. Herpraises, her partiality, her confidence in her character, whichhitherto had been her pride, she now only recollected with shame andwith sadness. The terror of the first interview never ceased to bepresent to her; she shrunk even in imagination from her wrath-dartingeye, she felt stung by pointed satire, and subdued by cold contempt. 

Yet to disappoint Delvile so late, by forfeiting a promise sopositively accorded; to trifle with a man who to her had beenuniformly candid, to waver when her word was engaged, and retract whenhe thought himself secure, --honour, justice and shame told her thetime was now past. 

"And yet is not this, " cried she, "placing nominal before actual evil?Is it not studying appearance at the expence of reality? If agreeingto wrong is criminal, is not performing it worse? If repentance forill actions calls for mercy, has not repentance for ill intentions ayet higher claim?--And what reproaches from Delvile can be so bitteras my own? What separation, what sorrow, what possible calamity canhang upon my mind with such heaviness, as the sense of committingvoluntary evil?"

This thought so much affected her, that, conquering all regret eitherfor Delvile or herself, she resolved to write to him instantly, andacquaint him of the alteration in her sentiments. 

This, however, after having so deeply engaged herself, was by no meanseasy; and many letters were begun, but not one of them was finished, when a sudden recollection obliged her to give over the attempt, --forshe knew not whither to direct to him. 

In the haste with which their plan had been formed and settled, it hadnever once occurred to them that any, occasion for writing was likelyto happen. Delvile, indeed, knew that her address would still be thesame; and with regard to his own, as his journey to London was to besecret, he purposed not having any fixed habitation. On the day oftheir marriage, and not before, they had appointed to meet at thehouse of Mrs Roberts, in Fetter-Lane, whence they were instantly toproceed to the church. 

She might still, indeed, enclose a letter for him in one to Mrs Hill, to be delivered to him on the destined morning when he called to claimher; but to fail him at the last moment, when Mr Belfield would havedrawn up the bond, when a licence was procured, the clergyman waitingto perform the ceremony, and Delvile without a suspicion but that thenext moment would unite them for ever, seemed extending prudence intotreachery, and power into tyranny. Delvile had done nothing to meritsuch treatment, he had practised no deceit, he had been guilty of noperfidy, he had opened to her his whole heart, and after shewing itwithout any disguise, the option had been all her own to accept orrefuse him. 

A ray of joy now broke its way through the gloom of her apprehensions. "Ah!" cried she, "I have not, then, any means to recede! an unprovokedbreach of promise at the very moment destined for its performance, would but vary the mode of acting wrong, without approaching nearer toacting right!"

This idea for a while not merely calmed but delighted her; to be thewife of Delvile seemed now a matter of necessity, and she soothedherself with believing that to struggle against it were vain. 

The next morning during breakfast Mr Monckton arrived. 

Not greater, though winged with joy, had been the expedition ofDelvile to open to him his plan, than was his own, though only goadedby desperation, to make some effort with Cecilia for rendering itabortive. Nor could all his self-denial, the command which he heldover his passions, nor the rigour with which his feelings were madesubservient to his interest, in this sudden hour of trial, avail topreserve his equanimity. The refinements of hypocrisy, and the arts ofinsinuation, offered advantages too distant, and exacted attentionstoo subtle, for a moment so alarming; those arts and those attentionshe had already for many years practised, with an address the mostmasterly, and a diligence the most indefatigable: success had of lateseemed to follow his toils; the encreasing infirmities of his wife, the disappointment and retirement of Cecilia, uniting to promise him aconclusion equally speedy and happy; when now, by a sudden andunexpected stroke, the sweet solace of his future cares, the long-projected recompence of his past sufferings, was to be snatched fromhim for ever, and by one who, compared with himself, was but theacquaintance of a day. 

Almost wholly off his guard from the surprise and horror of thisapprehension, he entered the room with such an air of haste andperturbation, that Mrs Charlton and her grand-daughters demanded whatwas the matter. 

"I am come, " he answered abruptly, yet endeavouring to recollecthimself, "to speak with Miss Beverley upon business of someimportance. "

"My dear, then, " said Mrs Charlton, "you had better go with MrMonckton into your dressing-room. "

Cecilia, deeply blushing, arose and led the way: slowly, however, sheproceeded, though urged by Mr Monckton to make speed. Certain of hisdisapprobation, and but doubtfully relieved from her own, she dreadeda conference which on his side, she foresaw, would be all exhortationand reproof, and on hers all timidity and shame. 

"Good God, " cried he, "Miss Beverley, what is this you have done?bound yourself to marry a man who despises, who scorns, who refuses toown you!"

Shocked by this opening, she started, but could make no answer. 

"See you not, " he continued, "the indignity which is offered you? Doesthe loose, the flimsy veil with which it is covered, hide it from yourunderstanding, or disguise it from your delicacy?"

"I thought not, --I meant not, " said she, more and more confounded, "tosubmit to any indignity, though my pride, in an exigence so peculiar, may give way, for a while, to convenience. "

"To convenience?" repeated he, "to contempt, to derision, toinsolence!"--

"O Mr Monckton!" interrupted Cecilia, "make not use of suchexpressions! they are too cruel for me to hear, and if I thought theywere just, would make me miserable for life!"

"You are deceived, grossly deceived, " replied he, "if you doubt theirtruth for a moment: they are not, indeed, even decently concealed fromyou; they are glaring as the day, and wilful blindness can aloneobscure them. "

"I am sorry, Sir, " said Cecilia, whose confusion, at a charge sorough, began now to give way to anger, "if this is your opinion; and Iam sorry, too, for the liberty I have taken in troubling you upon sucha subject. "

An apology so full of displeasure instantly taught Mr Monckton theerror he was committing, and checking, therefore, the violence ofthose emotions to which his sudden and desperate disappointment gaverise, and which betrayed him into reproaches so unskilful, heendeavoured to recover his accustomed equanimity, and assuming an airof friendly openness, said, "Let me not offend you, my dear MissBeverley, by a freedom which results merely from a solicitude to serveyou, and which the length and intimacy of our acquaintance had, Ihoped, long since authorised. I know not how to see you on the brinkof destruction without speaking, yet, if you are averse to mysincerity, I will curb it, and have done. "

"No, do not have done, " cried she, much softened; "your sincerity doesme nothing but honour, and hitherto, I am sure, it has done me nothingbut good. Perhaps I deserve your utmost censure; I feared it, indeed, before you came, and ought, therefore, to have better prepared myselffor meeting with it. "

This speech completed Mr Monckton's self-victory; it skewed him notonly the impropriety of his turbulence, but gave him room to hope thata mildness more crafty would have better success. 

"You cannot but be certain, " he answered, "that my zeal proceedswholly from a desire to be of use to you: my knowledge of the worldmight possibly, I thought, assist your inexperience, and thedisinterestedness of my regard, might enable me to see and to pointout the dangers to which you are exposed, from artifice and duplicityin those who have other purposes to answer than what simply belong toyour welfare. "

"Neither artifice nor duplicity, " cried Cecilia, jealous for thehonour of Delvile, "have been practised against me. Argument, and notpersuasion, determined me, and if I have done wrong--those whoprompted me have erred as unwittingly as myself. "

"You are too generous to perceive the difference, or you would findnothing less alike. If, however, my plainness will not offend you, before it is quite too late, I will point out to you a few of theevils, --for there are some I cannot even mention, which at thisinstant do not merely threaten, but await you. "

Cecilia started at this terrifying offer, and afraid to accept, yetashamed to refuse, hung back irresolute. 

"I see, " said Mr Monckton, after a pause of some continuance, "yourdetermination admits no appeal. The consequence must, indeed, be allyour own, but I am greatly grieved to find how little you are aware ofits seriousness. Hereafter you will wish, perhaps, that the friend ofyour earliest youth had been permitted to advise you; at present youonly think him officious and impertinent, and therefore he can donothing you will be so likely to approve as quitting you. I wish you, then, greater happiness than seems prepared to follow you, and acounsellor more prosperous in offering his assistance. "

He would then have taken his leave: but Cecilia called out, "Oh, MrMonckton! do you then give me up?"

"Not unless you wish it. "

"Alas, I know not what to wish! except, indeed, the restoration ofthat security from self-blame, which till yesterday, even in the midstof disappointment, quieted and consoled me. "

"Are you, then, sensible you have gone wrong, yet resolute not to turnback?" "Could I tell, could I see, " cried she, with energy, "whichway I _ought_ to turn, not a moment would I hesitate how to act!my heart should have no power, my happiness no choice, --I wouldrecover my own esteem by any sacrifice that could be made!"

"What, then, can possibly be your doubt? To be as you were yesterdaywhat is wanting but your own inclination?"

"Every thing is wanting; right, honour, firmness, all by which thejust are bound, and all which the conscientious hold sacred!" "Thesescruples are merely romantic; your own good sense, had it fairer play, would contemn them; but it is warped at present by prejudice andprepossession. "

"No, indeed!" cried she, colouring at the charge, "I may have enteredtoo precipitately into an engagement I ought to have avoided, but itis weakness of judgment, not of heart, that disables me fromretrieving my error. "

"Yet you will neither hear whither it may lead you, nor which way youmay escape from it?"

"Yes, Sir, " cried she, trembling, "I am now ready to hear both. "

"Briefly, then, I will tell you. It will lead you into a family ofwhich every individual will disdain you; it will make you inmate of ahouse of which no other inmate will associate with you; you will beinsulted as an inferior, and reproached as an intruder; your birthwill be a subject of ridicule, and your whole race only named withderision: and while the elders of the proud castle treat you with opencontempt, the man for whom you suffer will not dare to support you. "

"Impossible! impossible!" cried Cecilia, with the most angry emotion;"this whole representation is exaggerated, and the latter part isutterly without foundation. "

"The latter part, " said Mr Monckton, "is of all other leastdisputable: the man who now dares not own, will then never venture todefend you. On the contrary, to make peace for himself, he will be thefirst to neglect you. The ruined estates of his ancestors will berepaired by your fortune, while the name which you carry into hisfamily will be constantly resented as an injury: you will thus beplundered though you are scorned, and told to consider yourselfhonoured that they condescend to make use of you! nor here rests theevil of a forced connection with so much arrogance, --even yourchildren, should you have any, will be educated to despise you!"

"Dreadful and horrible!" cried Cecilia;--"I can hear no more, --Oh, MrMonckton, what a prospect have you opened to my view!"

"Fly from it, then, while it is yet in your power, --when two paths arebefore you, chuse not that which leads to destruction; send instantlyafter Delvile, and tell him you have recovered your senses. "

"I would long since have sent, --I wanted not a representation such asthis, --but I know not how to direct to him, nor whither he is gone. "

"All art and baseness to prevent your recantation!"

"No, Sir, no, " cried she, with quickness; "whatever may be the truthof your painting in general, all that concerns--"

Ashamed of the vindication she intended, which yet in her own mind wasfirm and animated, she stopt, and left the sentence unfinished. 

"In what place were you to meet?" said Mr Monckton; "you can at leastsend to him there. "

"We were only to have met, " answered she, in much confusion, "at thelast moment, --and that would be too late--it would be too--I couldnot, without some previous notice, break a promise which I gavewithout any restriction. "

"Is this your only objection?"

"It is: but it is one which I cannot conquer. "

"Then you would give up this ill-boding connection, but from notionsof delicacy with regard to the time?"

"Indeed I meant it, before you came. "

"_I_, then, will obviate this objection: give me but thecommission, either verbally or in writing, and I will undertake tofind him out, and deliver it before night. "

Cecilia, little expecting this offer, turned extremely pale, and afterpausing some moments, said in a faultering voice, "What, then, Sir, isyour advice, in what manner--"

"I will say to him all that is necessary; trust the matter with me. "

"No, --he deserves, at least, an apology from myself, --though how tomake it--"

She stopt, she hesitated, she went out of the room for pen and ink, she returned without them, and the agitation of her mind every instantencreasing, she begged him, in a faint voice, to excuse her while sheconsulted with Mrs Charlton, and promising to wait upon him again, washurrying away. 

Mr Monckton, however, saw too great danger in so much emotion to trusther out of his sight: he told her, therefore, that she would onlyencrease her perplexity, without reaping any advantage, by anapplication to Mrs Charlton, and that if she was really sincere inwishing to recede, there was not a moment to be lost, and Delvileshould immediately be pursued. 

Cecilia, sensible of the truth of this speech, and once morerecollecting the unaffected earnestness with which but an hour or twobefore, she had herself desired to renounce this engagement, nowsummoned her utmost courage to her aid, and, after a short, butpainful struggle, determined to act consistently with her professionsand her character, and, by one great and final effort, to conclude allher doubts, and try to silence even her regret, by completing thetriumph of fortitude over inclination. 

She called, therefore, for pen and ink, and without venturing herselffrom the room, wrote the following letter. 

_To Mortimer Delvile, Esq. _

Accuse me not of caprice, and pardon my irresolution, when you find meshrinking with terror from the promise I have made, and no longereither able or willing to perform it. The reproaches of your family Ishould very ill endure; but the reproaches of my own heart for anaction I can neither approve nor defend, would be still moreoppressive. With such a weight upon the mind length of life would beburthensome; with a sensation of guilt early death would be terrific!These being my notions of the engagement into which we have entered, you cannot wonder, and you have still less reason to repine, that Idare not fulfil it. Alas! where would be your chance of happiness withone who in the very act of becoming yours would forfeit her own!

I blush at this tardy recantation, and I grieve at the disappointmentit may occasion you: but I have yielded to the exhortations of aninward monitor, who is never to be neglected with impunity. Consulthim yourself, and I shall need no other advocate. Adieu, and may allfelicity attend you! if to hear of the almost total privation of mine, will mitigate the resentment with which you will probably read thisletter, it may be mitigated but too easily! Yet my consent to aclandestine action shall never be repeated; and though I confess toyou I am not happy, I solemnly declare my resolution is unalterable. Alittle reflection will tell you I am right, though a great deal oflenity may scarce suffice to make you pardon my being right no sooner. C. B. 

This letter, which with trembling haste, resulting from a fear of herown steadiness, she folded and sealed, Mr Monckton, from the sameapprehension yet more eagerly received, and scarce waiting to bid hergood morning, mounted his horse, and pursued his way to London. 

Cecilia returned to Mrs Charlton to acquaint her with what had passed:and notwithstanding the sorrow she felt in apparently injuring the manwhom, in the whole world she most wished to oblige, she yet found asatisfaction in the sacrifice she had made, that recompensed her formuch of her sufferings, and soothed her into something liketranquility; the true power of virtue she had scarce experiencedbefore, for she found it a resource against the cruellest dejection, and a supporter in the bitterest disappointment. 

CHAPTER viii. 

AN EMBARRASSMENT. 

The day passed on without any intelligence; the next day, also, passedin the same manner, and on the third, which was her birthday, Ceciliabecame of age. 

The preparations which had long been making among her tenants tocelebrate this event, Cecilia appeared to take some share, andendeavoured to find some pleasure in. She gave a public dinner to allwho were willing to partake of it, she promised redress to those whocomplained of hard usage, she pardoned many debts, and distributedmoney, food, and clothing to the poor. These benevolent occupationsmade time seem less heavy, and while they freed her from solitude, diverted her suspense. She still, however, continued at the house ofMrs Charlton, the workmen having disappointed her in finishing herown. 

But, in defiance of her utmost exertion, towards the evening of thisday the uneasiness of her uncertainty grew almost intolerable. Thenext morning she had promised Delvile to set out for London, and heexpected the morning after to claim her for his wife; yet Mr Moncktonneither sent nor came, and she knew not if her letter was delivered, or if still he was unprepared for the disappointment by which he wasawaited. A secret regret for the unhappiness she must occasion him, which silently yet powerfully reproached her, stole fast upon hermind, and poisoned its tranquility; for though her opinion wasinvariable in holding his proposal to be wrong, she thought too highlyof his character to believe he would have made it but from a mistakennotion it was right. She painted him, therefore, to herself, asglowing with indignation, accusing her of inconsistency, and perhapssuspecting her of coquetry, and imputing her change of conduct tomotives the most trifling and narrow, till with resentment anddisdain, he drove her wholly from his thoughts. 

In a few minutes, however, the picture was reversed; Delvile no moreappeared storming nor unreasonable; his face wore an aspect of sorrow, and his brow was clouded with disappointment: he forbore to reproachher, but the look which her imagination delineated was more piercingthan words of severest import. 

These images pursued and tormented her, drew tears from her eyes, andloaded her heart with anguish. Yet, when she recollected that herconduct had had in view an higher motive than pleasing Delvile, shefelt that it ought to offer her an higher satisfaction: she tried, therefore, to revive her spirits, by reflecting upon her integrity, and refused all indulgence to this enervating sadness, beyond what theweakness of human nature demands, as some relief to its sufferingsupon every fresh attack of misery. 

A conduct such as this was the best antidote against affliction, whosearrows are never with so little difficulty repelled, as when theylight upon a conscience which no self-reproach has laid bare to theirmalignancy. 

Before six o'clock the next morning, her maid came to her bedside withthe following letter, which she told; her had been brought by anexpress. 

_To Miss Beverley_. 

May this letter, with one only from Delvile Castle, be the last that_Miss Beverley_ may ever receive!

Yet sweet to me as is that hope, I write in the utmost uneasiness; Ihave just heard that a gentleman, whom, by the description that isgiven of him, I imagine is Mr Monckton, has been in search of me witha letter which he was anxious to deliver immediately. 

Perhaps this letter is from Miss Beverley, perhaps it containsdirections which ought instantly to be followed: could I divine whatthey are, with what eagerness would I study to anticipate theirexecution! It will not, I hope, be too late to receive them onSaturday, when her power over my actions will be confirmed, and whenevery wish she will communicate, shall be gratefully, joyfully, andwith delight fulfilled. 

I have sought Belfield in vain; he has left Lord Vannelt, and no oneknows whither he is gone. I have been obliged, therefore, to trust astranger to draw up the bond; but he is a man of good character, andthe time of secrecy will be too short to put his discretion in muchdanger. To-morrow, Friday, I shall spend solely in endeavouring todiscover. Mr Monckton; I have leisure sufficient for the search, sinceso prosperous has been my diligence, that _every thing isprepared_!

I have seen some lodgings in Pall-Mall, which I think are commodiousand will suit you: send a servant, therefore, before you to securethem. If upon your arrival I should venture to meet you there, be not, I beseech you, offended or alarmed; I shall take every possibleprecaution neither to be known nor seen, and I will stay with you onlythree minutes. The messenger who carries this is ignorant from whom itcomes, for I fear his repeating my name among your servants, and hecould scarce return to me with an answer before you will yourself bein town. Yes, loveliest Cecilia! at the very moment you receive thisletter, the chaise will, I flatter myself, be at the door, which is tobring to me a treasure that will enrich every future hour of my life!And oh as to me it will be exhaustless, may but its sweet dispenserexperience some share of the happiness she bestows, and then what, save her own purity, will be so perfect, so unsullied, as the felicityof her!M. D. 

The perturbation of Cecilia upon reading this letter was unspeakable:Mr Monckton, she found, had been wholly unsuccessful, all her heroismhad answered no purpose, and the transaction was as backward as beforeshe had exerted it. 

She was, now, therefore, called upon to think and act entirely forherself. Her opinion was still the same, nor did her resolution waver, yet how to put it in execution she could not discern. To write to himwas impossible, since she was ignorant where he was to be found; todisappoint him at the last moment she could not resolve, since such aconduct appeared to her unfeeling and unjustifiable; for a fewinstants she thought of having him waited for at night in London, witha letter; but the danger of entrusting any one with such a commission, and the uncertainty of finding him, should he disguise himself, madethe success of this scheme too precarious for trial. 

One expedient alone occurred to her, which, though she felt to behazardous, she believed was without an alternative: this was no otherthan hastening to London herself, consenting to the interview he hadproposed in Pall-Mall, and then, by strongly stating her objections, and confessing the grief they occasioned her, to pique at once hisgenerosity and his pride upon releasing her himself from theengagement into which he had entered. 

She had no time to deliberate; her plan, therefore, was decided almostas soon as formed, and every moment being precious, she was obliged toawaken Mrs Charlton, and communicate to her at once the letter fromDelvile, and the new resolution she had taken. 

Mrs Charlton, having no object in view but the happiness of her youngfriend, with a facility that looked not for objections, and scarce sawthem when presented, agreed to the expedition, and kindly consented toaccompany her to London; for Cecilia, however concerned to hurry andfatigue her, was too anxious for the sanction of her presence tohesitate in soliciting it. 

A chaise, therefore, was ordered; and with posthorses for speed, andtwo servants on horseback, the moment Mrs Charlton was ready, they setout on their journey. 

Scarce had they proceeded two miles on their way, when they were metby Mr Monckton, who was hastening to their house. 

Amazed and alarmed at a sight so unexpected, he stopt the chaise toenquire whither they were going. 

Cecilia, without answering, asked if her letter had yet been received?

"I could not, " said Mr Monckton, "deliver it to a man who was not tobe found: I was at this moment coming to acquaint how vainly I hadsought him; but still that your journey is unnecessary unlessvoluntary, since I have left it at the house where you told me youshould meet to-morrow morning, and where he must then unavoidablyreceive it. "

"Indeed, Sir, " cried Cecilia, "to-morrow morning will be too late, --inconscience, in justice, and even in decency too late! I _must_, therefore, go to town; yet I go not, believe me, in' opposition toyour injunctions, but to enable myself, without treachery ordishonour, to fulfil them. "

Mr Monckton, aghast and confounded, made not any answer, till Ceciliagave orders to the postilion to drive on: he then hastily called tostop him, and began the warmest expostulations; but Cecilia, firm whenshe believed herself right, though wavering when fearful she waswrong, told him it was now too late to change her plan, and repeatingher orders to the postilion, left him to his own reflections: grievedherself to reject his counsel, yet too intently occupied by her ownaffairs and designs, to think long of any other. 

CHAPTER ix. 

A TORMENT. 

At----they stopt for dinner; Mrs Charlton being too much fatigued togo on without some rest, though the haste of Cecilia to meet Delviletime enough for new arranging their affairs, made her regret everymoment that was spent upon the road. 

Their meal was not long, and they were returning to their chaise, whenthey were suddenly encountered by Mr Morrice, who was just alightedfrom his horse. 

He congratulated himself upon the happiness of meeting them with theair of a man who nothing doubted that happiness being mutual; thenhastening to speak of the Grove, "I could hardly, " he cried, "getaway; my friend Monckton won't know what to do without me, for LadyMargaret, poor old soul, is in a shocking bad way indeed; there'shardly any staying in the room with her; her breathing is just likethe grunting of a hog. She can't possibly last long, for she's quiteupon her last legs, and tumbles about so when she walks alone, onewould swear she was drunk. "

"If you take infirmity, " said Mrs Charlton, who was now helped intothe chaise, "for intoxication, you must suppose no old person sober. "

"Vastly well said, ma'am, " cried he; "I really forgot your being anold lady yourself, or I should not have made the observation. However, as to poor Lady Margaret, she may do as well as ever by and bye, forshe has an excellent constitution, and I suppose she has been hardlyany better than she is now these forty years, for I remember when Iwas quite a boy hearing her called a limping old puddle. "

"Well, we'll discuss this matter, if you please, " said Cecilia, "someother time. " And ordered the postilion to drive on. But before theycame to their next stage, Morrice having changed his horse, joinedthem, and rode on by their side, begging them to observe what haste hehad made on purpose to have the pleasure of escorting, them. 

This forwardness was very offensive to Mrs Charlton, whose years andcharacter had long procured her more deference and respect: butCecilia, anxious only to hasten her journey, was indifferent to everything, save what retarded it. 

At the same Inn they both again changed horses, and he still continuedriding with them, and occasionally talking, till they were withintwenty miles of London, when a disturbance upon the road exciting hiscuriosity, he hastily rode away from them to enquire into its cause. 

Upon coming up to the place whence it proceeded, they saw a party ofgentlemen on horseback surrounding a chaise which had been justoverturned; and while the confusion in the road obliged the postilionto stop Cecilia heard a lady's voice exclaiming, "I declare I dare sayI am killed!" and instantly recollecting Miss Larolles, the fear ofdiscovery and delay made her desire the man to drive on with allspeed. He was preparing to obey her, but Morrice, gallopping afterthem, called out, "Miss Beverley, one of the ladies that has beenoverturned, is an acquaintance of yours. I used to see her with you atMrs Harrel's. "

"Did you?" said Cecilia, much disconcerted, "I hope she is not hurt?'

"No, not at all; but the lady with her is bruised to death; won't youcome and see her?"

"I am too much in haste at present, --and I can do them no good; butMrs Charlton I am sure will spare her servant, if he can be of anyuse. "

"O but the young lady wants to speak to you; she is coming up to thechaise as fast as ever she can. "

"And how should she know me?" cried Cecilia, with much surprise; "I amsure she could not see me. "

"O, I told her, ", answered Morrice, with a nod of self-approbation forwhat he had done, "I told her it was you, for I knew I could soonovertake you. "

Displeasure at this officiousness was unavailing, for looking out ofthe window, she perceived Miss Larolles, followed by half her party, not three paces from the chaise. 

"O my dear creature, " she called out, "what a terrible accident! Iassure you I am so monstrously frightened you've no idea. It's theluckiest thing in the world that you were going this way. Never anything happened so excessively provoking; you've no notion what a fallwe've had. It's horrid shocking, I assure you. How have you been allthis time? You can't conceive how glad I am to see you. "

"And to which will Miss Beverley answer first, " cried a voice whichannounced Mr Gosport, "the joy or the sorrow? For so adroitly are theyblended, that a common auditor could with difficulty decide, whethercondolence, or congratulation should have the precedency. "

"How can you be so excessive horrid, " cried Miss Larolles, "to talk ofcongratulation, when one's in such a shocking panic that one does notknow if one's dead or alive!"

"Dead, then, for any wager, " returned he, "if we may judge by yourstillness. "

"I desire, now, you won't begin joking, " cried she, "for I assure youit's an excessive serious affair. I was never so rejoiced in my lifeas when I found I was not killed. I've been so squeezed you've nonotion. I thought for a full hour I had broke both my arms. "

"And my heart at the same time, " said Mr Gosport; "I hope you did notimagine that the least fragile of the three?"

"All our hearts, give me leave to add, " said Captain Aresby--just thenadvancing, "all our hearts must have been _abimés_, by theindisposition of Miss Larolles, had not their doom been fortunatelyrevoked by the sight of Miss Beverley. "

"Well, this is excessive odd, ", cried Miss Larolles, "that every bodyshould run away so from poor Mrs Mears; she'll be so affronted you'veno idea. I thought, Captain Aresby, you would have stayed to take careof her. "

"I'll run and see how she is myself, " cried Morrice, and away hegallopped. 

"Really, ma'am, " said the Captain, "I am quite _au desespoir_ tohave failed in any of my devoirs; but I make it a principle to be amere looker on upon these occasions, lest I should be so unhappy as tocommit any _faux pas_ by too much _empressement_. "

"An admirable caution!" said Mr Gosport, "and, to so ardent a temper, a, necessary check!"

Cecilia, whom the surprise and vexation of so unseasonable a meeting, when she particularly wished to have escaped all notice, had hithertokept in painful silence, began now to recover some presence of mind;and making her compliments to Miss Larolles and Mr Gosport, with aslight bow to the Captain, she apologized for hurrying away, but toldthem she had an engagement in London which could not be deferred, andwas then giving orders to the postilion to drive on, when Morricereturning full speed, called out "The poor lady's so bad she is notable to stir a step; she can't put a foot to the ground, and she saysshe's quite black and blue; so I told her I was sure Miss Beverleywould not refuse to make room for her in her chaise, till the othercan be put to rights; and she says she shall take it as a greatfavour. Here, postilion, a little more to the right! come, ladies andgentlemen, get out of the way. " This impertinence, howeverextraordinary, Cecilia could not oppose; for Mrs Charlton, evercompassionate and complying where there was any appearance ofdistress, instantly seconded the proposal: the chaise, therefore, wasturned back, and she was obliged to offer a place in it to Mrs Mears, who, though more frightened than hurt, readily accepted it, notwithstanding, to make way for her without incommoding Mrs Charlton, she was forced to get out herself. 

She failed not, however, to desire that all possible expedition mightbe used in refitting the other chaise for their reception; and all thegentlemen but one, dismounted their horses, in order to assist, orseem to assist in getting it ready. 

This only unconcerned spectator in the midst of the apparent generalbustle, was Mr Meadows; who viewed all that passed without troublinghimself to interfere, and with an air of the most evident carelessnesswhether matters went well or went ill. 

Miss Larolles, now returning to the scene of action, suddenly screamedout, "O dear, where's my little dog! I never thought of him, Ideclare! I love him better than any thing in the world. I would nothave him hurt for a hundred thousand pounds. Lord, where is he?"

"Crushed or suffocated in the overturn, no doubt, " said Mr Gosport;"but as you must have been his executioner, what softer death could hedie? If you will yourself inflict the punishment, I will submit to thesame fate. "

"Lord, how you love to plague one!" cried she and then enquired amongthe servants what was become of her dog. The poor little animal, forgotten by its mistress, and disregarded by all others, was nowdiscovered by its yelping; and soon found to have been the mostmaterial sufferer by the overturn, one of its fore legs being broken. 

Could screams or lamentations, reproaches to the servants, orcomplaints against the Destinies, have abated his pain, or made acallus of the fracture, but short would have been the duration of hismisery; for neither words were saved, nor lungs were spared, the veryair was rent with cries, and all present were upbraided as ifaccomplices in the disaster. 

The postilion, at length, interrupted this vociferation with news thatthe chaise was again fit for use; and Cecilia, eager to be gone, finding him little regarded, repeated what he said to Miss Larolles. 

"The chaise?" cried she, "why you don't suppose I'll ever get intothat horrid chaise any more? I do assure you I would not upon anyaccount. "

"Not get into it?" said Cecilia, "for what purpose, then, have we allwaited till it was ready?"

"O, I declare I would not go in it for forty thousand worlds. I wouldrather walk to an inn, if it's a hundred and fifty miles off. "

"But as it happens, " said Mr Gosport, "to be only seven miles, I fancyyou will condescend to ride. "

"Seven miles! Lord, how shocking! you frighten me so you have no idea. Poor Mrs Mears! She'll have to go quite alone. I dare say the chaisewill be down fifty times by the way. Ten to one but she breaks herneck! only conceive how horrid! I assure you I am excessive glad I amout of it. "

"Very friendly, indeed!" said Mr Gosport. "Mrs Mears, then, may breakher bones at her leisure!"

Mrs Mears, however, when applied to, professed an equal aversion tothe carriage in which she had been so unfortunate, and declared shewould rather walk than return to it, though one of her ancles wasalready so swelled that she could hardly stand. 

"Why then the best way, ladies, " cried Morrice, with the look of a manhappy in vanquishing all difficulties, "will be for Mrs Charlton, andthat poor lady with the bruises, to go together in that sound chaise, and then for us gentlemen to escort this young lady and Miss Beverleyon foot, till we all come to the next inn. Miss Beverley, I know, isan excellent walker, for I have heard Mr Monckton say so. "

Cecilia, though in the utmost consternation at a proposal, which mustso long retard a journey she had so many reasons to wish hastened, knew not how either in decency or humanity to oppose it: and the fearof raising suspicion, from a consciousness how much there was tosuspect, forced her to curb her impatience, and reduced her even torepeat the offer which Morrice had made, though she could scarce lookat him for anger at his unseasonable forwardness. 

No voice dissenting, the troop began to be formed. The foot consistedof the two young ladies, and Mr Gosport, who alighted to walk withCecilia; the cavalry, of Mr Meadows, the Captain, and Morrice, whowalked their horses a foot pace, while the rest of the party rode onwith the chaise, as attendants upon Mrs Mears. 

Just before they set off, Mr Meadows, riding negligently up to thecarriage, exerted himself so far as to say to Mrs Mears, "Are youhurt, ma'am?" and, at the same instant, seeming to recollect Cecilia, he turned about, and yawning while he touched his hat, said, "O, howd'ye do, ma'am?" and then, without waiting an answer to either of hisquestions, flapped it over his eyes, and joined the cavalcade, thoughwithout appearing to have any consciousness that he belonged to it. 

Cecilia would most gladly have used the rejected chaise herself, butcould not make such a proposal to Mrs Charlton, who was past the ageand the courage for even any appearance of enterprize. Upon enquiry, however, she had the satisfaction to hear that the distance to thenext stage was but two miles, though multiplied to seven by the maliceof Mr Gosport. 

Miss Larolles carried her little dog in her arms, declaring she wouldnever more trust him a moment away from her. She acquainted Ceciliathat she had been for some time upon a visit to Mrs Mears, who, withthe rest of the party, had taken her to see--house and gardens, wherethey had made an early dinner, from which they were just returninghome when the chaise broke down. 

She then proceeded, with her usual volubility, to relate the littlenothings that had passed since the winter, flying from subject tosubject, with no meaning but to be heard, and no wish but to talk, ever rapid in speech, though minute in detail. This loquacity met notwith any interruption, save now and then a sarcastic remark, from MrGosport; for Cecilia was too much occupied by her own affairs, toanswer or listen to such uninteresting discourse. 

Her silence, however, was at length forcibly broken; Mr Gosport, taking advantage of the first moment Miss Larolles stopt for breath, said, "Pray what carries you to town, Miss Beverley, at this time ofthe year?"

Cecilia, whose thoughts had been wholly employed upon what would passat her approaching meeting with Delvile, was so entirely unpreparedfor this question, that she could make to it no manner of answer, tillMr Gosport, in a tone of some surprise, repeated it, and then, notwithout hesitation, she said, "I have some business, Sir, in London, --pray how long have you been in the country?"

"Business, have you?" cried he, struck by her evasion; "and pray whatcan you and business have in common?"

"More than you may imagine, " answered she, with greater steadiness;"and perhaps before long I may even have enough to teach me theenjoyment of leisure. "

"Why you don't pretend to play my Lady Notable, and become your ownsteward?"

"And what can I do better?"

"What? Why seek one ready made to take the trouble off your hands. There are such creatures to be found, I promise you: beasts ofburthen, who will freely undertake the management of your estate, forno other reward than the trifling one of possessing it. Can you nowhere meet with such an animal?"

"I don't know, " answered she, laughing, "I have not been looking out. "

"And have none such made application to you?"

"Why no, --I believe not. "

"Fie, fie! no register-office keeper has been pestered with moreclaimants. You know they assault you by dozens. "

"You must pardon me, indeed, I know not any such thing. "

"You know, then, why they do not, and that is much the same. "

"I may conjecture why, at least: the place, I suppose, is not worththe service. "

"No, no; the place, they conclude, is already seized, and the fee--simple of the estate is the heart of the owner. Is it not so?"

"The heart of the owner, " answered she, a little confused, "may, indeed, be simple, but not, perhaps, so easily seized as you imagine. "

"Have you, then, wisely saved it from a storm, by a generoussurrender? you have been, indeed, in an excellent school for the studyboth of attack and defence; Delvile-Castle is a fortress which, evenin ruins, proves its strength by its antiquity: and it teaches, also, an admirable lesson, by displaying the dangerous, the infallible powerof time, which defies all might, and undermines all strength; whichbreaks down every barrier, and shews nothing endurable but itself. "Then looking at her with an arch earnestness, "I think, " he added, "you made a long visit there; did this observation never occur to you?did you never perceive, never _feel_, rather, the insidiousproperties of time?"

"Yes, certainly, " answered she, alarmed at the very mention of DelvileCastle, yet affecting to understand literally what was saidmetaphorically, "the havoc of time upon the place could not failstriking me. "

"And was its havoc, " said he, yet more archly, "merely external? isall within safe? sound and firm? and did the length of your residenceshew its power by no new mischief?"

"Doubtless, not, " answered she, with the same pretended ignorance, "the place is not in so desperate a condition as to exhibit anyvisible marks of decay in the course of three or four months. "

"And, do you not know, " cried he, "that the place to which I alludemay receive a mischief in as many minutes which double the number ofyears cannot rectify? The internal parts of a building are not lessvulnerable to accident than its outside; and though the evil may moreeasily be concealed, it will with greater difficulty be remedied. Manya fair structure have I seen, which, like that now before me" (lookingwith much significance at Cecilia), "has to the eye seemed perfect inall its parts, and unhurt either by time or casualty, while within, some lurking evil, some latent injury, has secretly worked its wayinto the very _heart_ of the edifice, where it has consumed itsstrength, and laid waste its powers, till, sinking deeper and deeper, it has sapped its very foundation, before the superstructure hasexhibited any token of danger. Is such an accident among the thingsyou hold to be possible?"

"Your language, " said she, colouring very high, "is so florid, that Imust own it renders your meaning rather obscure. "

"Shall I illustrate it by an example? Suppose, during your abode inDelvile Castle, "

"No, no, " interrupted she, with involuntary quickness, "why should Itrouble you to make illustrations?"

"O pray, my dear creature, " cried Miss Larolles, "how is Mrs Harrel? Iwas never so sorry for any body in my life. I quite forgot to askafter her. "

"Ay, poor Harrel!" cried Morrice, "he was a great loss to his friends. I had just begun to have a regard for him: we were growing extremelyintimate. Poor fellow! he really gave most excellent dinners. "

"Harrel?" suddenly exclaimed Mr Meadows, who seemed just then to firsthear what was going forward, "who was he?"

"O, as good-natured a fellow as ever I knew in my life, " answeredMorrice; "he was never out of humour: he was drinking and singing anddancing to the very last moment. Don't you remember him, Sir, thatnight at Vauxhall?"

Mr Meadows made not any answer, but rode languidly on. 

Morrice, ever more flippant than sagacious, called out, "I reallybelieve the gentleman's deaf! he won't so much as say _umph_, and_hay_, now; but I'll give him such a hallow in his ears, as shallmake him hear me, whether he will or no. Sir! I say!" bawling aloud, "have you forgot that night at Vauxhall?"

Mr Meadows, starting at being thus shouted at, looked towards Morricewith some surprise, and said, "Were you so obliging, Sir, as to speakto me?"

"Lord, yes, Sir, " said Morrice, amazed; "I thought you had askedsomething about Mr Harrel, so I just made an answer to it;--that'sall. "

"Sir, you are very good, " returned he, slightly bowing, and thenlooking another way, as if thoroughly satisfied with what had passed. 

"But I say, Sir, " resumed Morrice, "don't you remember how Mr Harrel"--

"Mr who, Sir?"

"Mr Harrel, Sir; was not you just now asking me who he was?"

"O, ay, true, " cried Meadows, in a tone of extreme weariness, "I am. Much obliged to you. Pray give my respects to him. " And, touching hishat, he was riding away; but the astonished Morrice called out, "Yourrespects to him? why lord! Sir, don't you know he's dead?"

"Dead?--who, Sir?"

"Why Mr Harrel, Sir. "

"Harrel?--O, very true, " cried Meadows, with a face of suddenrecollection; "he shot himself, I think, or was knocked down, orsomething of that sort. I remember it perfectly. "

"O pray, " cried Miss Larolles, "don't let's talk about it, it's thecruellest thing I ever knew in my life. I assure you I was so shocked, I thought I should never have got the better of it. I remember thenext night at Ranelagh I could talk of nothing else. I dare say I toldit to 500 people. I assure you I was tired to death; only conceive howdistressing!"

"An excellent method, " cried Mr Gosport, "to drive it out of your ownhead, by driving it into the heads of your neighbours! But were younot afraid, by such an ebullition of pathos, to burst as many heartsas you had auditors?"

"O I assure you, " cried she, "every body was so excessive shockedyou've no notion; one heard of nothing else; all the world was ravingmad about it. "

"Really yes, " cried the Captain; "the subject was _obsedé_ uponone _partout_. There was scarce any breathing for it: it pouredfrom all directions; I must confess I was _aneanti_ with it to adegree. "

"But the most shocking thing in nature, " cried Miss Larolles, "wasgoing to the sale. I never missed a single day. One used to meet thewhole world there, and every body was so sorry you can't conceive. Itwas quite horrid. I assure you I never suffered so much before; itmade me so unhappy you can't imagine. "

"That I am most ready to grant, " said Mr Gosport, "be the powers ofimagination ever so eccentric. "

"Sir Robert Floyer and Mr Marriot, " continued Miss Larolles, "havebehaved so ill you've no idea, for they have done nothing ever sincebut say how monstrously Mr Harrel had cheated them, and how they lostsuch immense sums by him;--only conceive how ill-natured!"

"And they complain, " cried Morrice, "that old Mr Delvile used themworse; for that when they had been defrauded of all that money onpurpose to pay their addresses to Miss Beverley, he would never letthem see her, but all of a sudden took her off into the country, onpurpose to marry her to his own son. "

The cheeks of Cecilia now glowed with the deepest blushes; but findingby a general silence that she was expected to make some answer, shesaid, with what unconcern she could assume, "They were very muchmistaken; Mr Delvile had no such view. "

"Indeed?" cried Mr Gosport, again perceiving her change ofcountenance; "and is it possible you have actually escaped a siege, while every body concluded you taken by assault? Pray where is youngDelvile at present?"

"I don't--I can't tell, Sir. "

"Is it long since you have seen him?"

"It is two months, " answered she, with yet more hesitation, "since Iwas at Delvile Castle. "

"O, but, " cried Morrice, "did not you see him while he was in Suffolk?I believe, indeed, he is there now, for it was only yesterday I heardof his coming down, by a gentleman who called upon Lady Margaret, andtold us he had seen a stranger, a day or two ago, at Mrs Charlton'sdoor, and when he asked who he was, they told him his name wasDelvile, and said he was on a visit at Mr Biddulph's. "

Cecilia was quite confounded by this speech; to have it known thatDelvile had visited her, was in itself alarming, but to have her ownequivocation thus glaringly exposed, was infinitely more dangerous. The just suspicions to which it must give rise filled her with dread, and the palpable evasion in which she had been discovered, overwhelmed, her with confusion. 

"So you had forgotten, " said Mr Gosport, looking at her with mucharchness, "that you had seen him _within_ the two months? but nowonder; for where is the lady who having so many admirers, can be atthe trouble to remember which of them she saw last? or who, being soaccustomed to adulation, can hold it worth while to enquire whence itcomes? A thousand Mr Delviles are to Miss Beverley but as one; usedfrom them all to the same tale, she regards them not individually aslovers, but collectively as men; and to gather, even from herself, which she is most inclined to favour, she must probably desire, likePortia in the Merchant of Venice, that their names may be run over oneby one, before she can distinctly tell which is which. "

The gallant gaiety of this speech was some relief to Cecilia, who wasbeginning a laughing reply, when Morrice called out, "That man looksas if he was upon the scout. " And, raising her eyes, she perceived aman on horseback, who, though much muffled up, his hat flapped, and ahandkerchief held to his mouth and chin, she instantly, by his air andfigure, recognized to be Delvile. 

In much consternation at this sight, she forgot what she meant to say, and dropping her eyes, walked silently on. Mr Gosport, attentive toher motions, looked from her to the horseman, and after a shortexamination, said, "I think I have seen that man before; have_you_, Miss Beverley?"

"Me?--no, "--answered she, "I believe not, --I hardly indeed, see himnow. "

"_I_ have, I am pretty sure, " said Morrice; "and if I could seehis face, I dare say I should recollect him. "

"He seems very willing to know if he can recollect any of _us_, "said Mr Gosport, "and, if I am not mistaken, he sees much better thanhe is seen. "

He was now come up to them, and though a glance sufficed todiscover the object of his search, the sight of the party with whichshe was surrounded made him not dare stop or speak to her, andtherefore, clapping spurs to his horse, he galloped past them. 

"See, " cried Morrice, looking after him, "how he turns round toexamine us! I wonder who he is. "

"Perhaps some highwayman!" cried Miss Larolles; "I assure you I am ina prodigious fright: I should hate to be robbed so you can't think. "

"I was going to make much the same conjecture, " said Mr Gosport, "and, if I am not greatly deceived, that man is a robber of no common sort. What think you, Miss Beverley, can you discern a thief in disguise?"

"No, indeed; I pretend to no such extraordinary knowledge. "

"That's true; for all that you pretend to is extraordinary ignorance. "

"I have a good mind, " said Morrice, "to ride after him, and see whathe is about. "

"What for?" exclaimed Cecilia, greatly alarmed "there can certainly beno occasion!"

"No, pray don't, " cried Miss Larolles, "for I assure you if he shouldcome back to rob us, I should die upon the spot. Nothing could be sodisagreeable I should scream so, you've no idea. "

Morrice then gave up the proposal, and they walked quietly on; butCecilia was extremely disturbed by this accident; she readilyconjectured that, impatient for her arrival, Delvile had ridden thatway, to see what had retarded her, and she was sensible that nothingcould be so desirable as an immediate explanation of the motive of herjourney. Such a meeting, therefore, had she been alone, was just whatshe could have wished, though, thus unluckily encompassed, it onlyadded to her anxiety. 

Involuntarily, however, she quickened her pace, through her eagernessto be relieved from so troublesome a party: but Miss Larolles, who wasin no such haste, protested she could not keep up with her; saying, "You don't consider that I have got this sweet little dog to carry, and he is such a shocking plague to me you've no notion. Only conceivewhat a weight he is!"

"Pray, ma'am, " cried Morrice, "let me take him for you; I'll be verycareful of him, I promise you; and you need not be afraid to trust me, for I understand more about dogs than about any thing. "

Miss Larolles, after many fond caresses, being really weary, consented, and Morrice placed the little animal before him onhorseback: but while this matter was adjusting, and Miss Larolles wasgiving directions how she would have it held, Morrice exclaimed, "Look, look! that man is coming back! He is certainly watching us. There! now he's going off again!--I suppose he saw me remarking him. "

"I dare say he's laying in wait to rob us, " said Miss Larolles; "sowhen we turn off the high road, to go to Mrs Mears, I suppose he'llcome galloping after us. It's excessive horrid, I assure you. "

"'Tis a petrifying thing, " said the captain, "that one must always be_degouté_ by some wretched being or other of this sort; but praybe not deranged, I will ride after him, if you please, and do _monpossible_ to get rid of him. "

"Indeed I wish you would, " answered Miss Larolles, "for I assure youhe has put such shocking notions into my head, it's quitedisagreeable. "

"I shall make it a principle, " said the captain, "to have the honourof obeying you. " And was riding off, when Cecilia, in great agitation, called out "Why should you go, Sir?--he is not in our way, --pray lethim alone, --for what purpose should you pursue him?"

"I hope, " said Mr Gosport, "for the purpose of making him join ourcompany, to some part of which I fancy he would be no very intolerableaddition. "

This speech again silenced Cecilia, who perceived, with the utmostconfusion, that both Delvile and herself were undoubtedly suspected byMr Gosport, if not already actually betrayed to him. She was obliged, therefore, to let the matter take its course, though quite sick withapprehension lest a full discovery should follow the projectedpursuit. 

The Captain, who wanted not courage, however deeply in vanity andaffectation he had buried common sense, stood suspended, upon therequest of Cecilia, that he would not go, and, with a shrug ofdistress, said, "Give me leave to own I am _parfaitment_ in astate the most _accablant_ in the world: nothing could give megreater pleasure than to profit of the occasion to accommodate eitherof these ladies; but as they proceed upon different principles, I am_indecidé_ to a degree which way to turn myself!"

"Put it to the vote, then, " said Morrice; "the two ladies have bothspoke; now, then, for the gentlemen. Come, Sir, " to Mr Gosport, "whatsay you?"

"O, fetch the culprit back, by all means, " answered he; "and then letus all insist upon his opening his cause, by telling us in what he hasoffended us; for there is no part of his business, I believe, withwhich we are less acquainted. "

"Well, " said Morrice, "I'm for asking him a few questions too; so isthe Captain; so every body has spoke but you, Sir, " addressing himselfto Mr Meadows, "So now, Sir, let's hear your opinion. "

Mr Meadows, appearing wholly inattentive, rode on. 

"Why, Sir, I say!" cried Morrice, louder, "we are all waiting for yourvote. Pray what is the gentleman's name? it's deuced hard to make himhear one. "

"His name is Meadows, " said Miss Larolles, in a low voice, "and Iassure you sometimes he won't hear people by the hour together. He'sso excessive absent you've no notion. One day he made me so mad, thatI could not help crying; and Mr Sawyer was standing by the whole time!and I assure you I believe he laughed at me. Only conceive howdistressing!"

"May be, " said Morrice, "it's out of bashfulness perhaps he thinks weshall cut him up. "

"Bashfulness, " repeated Miss Larolles; "Lord, you don't conceive thething at all. Why he's at the very head of the _ton_. There'snothing in the world so fashionable as taking no notice of things, andnever seeing people, and saying nothing at all, and never hearing aword, and not knowing one's own acquaintance. All the _ton_people do so, and I assure you as to Mr Meadows, he's so excessivelycourted by every body, that if he does but say a syllable, he thinksit such an immense favour, you've no idea. "

This account, however little alluring in itself, of his celebrity, wasyet sufficient to make Morrice covet his further acquaintance: forMorrice was ever attentive to turn his pleasure to his profit, andnever negligent of his interest, but when ignorant how to pursue it. He returned, therefore, to the charge, though by no means with thesame freedom he had begun it, and lowering his voice to a tone ofrespect and submission, he said, "Pray, Sir, may we take the libertyto ask your advice, whether we shall go on, or take a turn back?"

Mr Meadows made not any answer; but when Morrice was going to repeathis question, without appearing even to know that he was near him, heabruptly said to Miss Larolles, "Pray what is become of Mrs Mears? Idon't see her amongst us. "

"Lord, Mr Meadows, " exclaimed she, "how can you be so odd? Don't youremember she went on in a chaise to the inn?"

"O, ay, true, " cried he; "I protest I had quite forgot it; I beg yourpardon, indeed. Yes, I recollect now, --she fell off her horse. "

"Her horse? Why you know she was in her chaise. "

"Her chaise, was it?--ay, true, so it was. Poor thing!--I am glad shewas not hurt. "

"Not hurt? Why she's so excessively bruised, she can't stir a step!Only conceive what a memory you've got!"

"I am most extremely sorry for her indeed, " cried he, again stretchinghimself and yawning; "poor soul!--I hope she won't die. Do you thinkshe will!"

"Die!" repeated Miss Larolles, with a scream, "Lord, how shocking! Youare really enough to frighten one to hear you. "

"But, Sir, " said Morrice, "I wish you would be so kind as to give usyour vote; the man will else be gone so far, we sha'n't be able toovertake him. --Though I do really believe that is the very fellowcoming back to peep at us again!"

"I am _ennuyé_ to a degree, " cried the Captain; "he is certainlyset upon us as a spy, and I must really beg leave to enquire of himupon what principle he incommodes us. "--And instantly he rode afterhim. 

"And so will I too, " cried Morrice, following. 

Miss Larolles screamed after him to give her first her little dog; butwith a schoolboy's eagerness to be foremost, he galloped on withoutheeding her. 

The uneasiness of Cecilia now encreased every moment; the discovery ofDelvile seemed unavoidable, and his impatient and indiscreetwatchfulness must have rendered the motives of his disguise but tooglaring. All she had left to hope was arriving at the inn before thedetection was announced, and at least saving herself the cruelmortification of hearing the raillery which would follow it. 

Even this, however, was not allowed her; Miss Larolles, whom she hadno means to quit, hardly stirred another step, from her anxiety forher dog, and the earnestness of her curiosity about the stranger. Sheloitered, stopt now to talk, and now to listen, and was scarce moved ayard from the spot where she had been left, when the Captain andMorrice returned. 

"We could not for our lives overtake the fellow, " said Morrice; "hewas well mounted, I promise you, and I'll warrant he knows what he'sabout, for he turned off so short at a place where there were twonarrow lanes, that we could not make out which way he went. "

Cecilia, relieved and delighted by this unexpected escape, nowrecovered her composure, and was content to saunter on withoutrepining. 

"But though we could not seize his person, " said the Captain, "we havedebarrassed ourselves _tout à fait_ from his pursuit; I hope, therefore, Miss Larolles will make a revoke of her apprehensions. "

The answer to this was nothing but a loud scream, with an exclamation, "Lord, where's my dog?"

"Your dog!" cried Morrice, looking aghast, "good stars! I neverthought of him!"

"How excessive barbarous!" cried Miss Larolles, "you've killed him, Idare say. Only think how shocking! I had rather have seen any bodyserved so in the world. I shall never forgive it, I assure you. "

"Lord, ma'am, " said Morrice, "how can you suppose I've killed him?Poor, pretty creature, I'm sure I liked him prodigiously. I can'tthink for my life where he can be: but I have a notion he must havedropt down some where while I happened to be on the full gallop. I'llgo look [for] him, however, for we went at such a rate that I nevermissed him. "

Away again rode Morrice. 

"I am _abimé_ to the greatest degree, " said the Captain, "thatthe poor little sweet fellow should be lost if I had thought him inany danger, I would have made it a principle to have had a regard tohis person myself. Will you give me leave, ma'am, to have the honourof seeking him _partout?_"

"O, I wish you would with all my heart; for I assure you if I don'tfind him, I shall think it so excessive distressing you can'tconceive. "

The Captain touched his hat, and was gone. 

These repeated impediments almost robbed Cecilia of all patience; yether total inability of resistance obliged her to submit, and compelledher to go, stop, or turn, according to their own motions. 

"Now if Mr Meadows had the least good-nature in the world, " said MissLarolles, "he would offer to help us; but he's so excessive odd, thatI believe if we were all of us to fall down and break our necks, hewould be so absent he would hardly take the trouble to ask us how wedid. "

"Why in so desperate a case, " said Mr Gosport, "the trouble would berather superfluous. However, don't repine that one of the cavaliersstays with us by way of guard, lest your friend the spy should take usby surprize while our troop is dispersed. "

"O Lord, " cried Miss Larolles, "now you put it in my head, I dare saythat wretch has got my dog! only think how horrid!"

"I saw plainly, " said Mr Gosport, looking significantly at Cecilia, "that he was feloniously inclined, though I must confess I took himnot for a dog-stealer. "

Miss Larolles then, running up to Mr Meadows, called out, "I have aprodigious immense favour to ask of you, Mr Meadows. "

"Ma'am!" cried Mr Meadows, with his usual start. 

"It's only to know, whether if that horrid creature should come back, you could not just ride up to him and shoot him, before he gets to us?Now will you promise me to do it?"

"You are vastly good, " said he, with a vacant smile; "what a charmingevening! Do you love the country?"

"Yes, vastly; only I'm so monstrously tired, I can hardly stir a step. Do _you_ like it?"

"The country? O no! I detest it! Dusty hedges, and chirping sparrows!'Tis amazing to me any body can exist upon such terms. "

"I assure you, " cried Miss Larolles, "I'm quite of your opinion. Ihate the country so you've no notion. I wish with all my heart it wasall under ground. I declare, when I first go into it for the summer, Icry so you can't think. I like nothing but London. --Don't you?"

"London!" repeated Mr Meadows, "O melancholy! the sink of all vice anddepravity. Streets without light! Houses without air! Neighbourhoodwithout society! Talkers without listeners!--'Tis astonishing anyrational being can endure to be so miserably immured. "

"Lord, Mr Meadows, " cried she, angrily, "I believe you would have onelive no where!"

"True, very true, ma'am, " said he, yawning, "one really lives nowhere; one does but vegetate, and wish it all at an end. Don't youfind it so, ma'am?"

"Me? no indeed; I assure you I like living of all things. Whenever I'mill, I'm in such a fright you've no idea. I always think I'm going todie, and it puts me so out of spirits you can't think. Does not ityou, too?"

Here Mr Meadows, looking another way, began to whistle. 

"Lord, " cried Miss Larolles, "how excessive distressing! to ask onequestions, and then never hear what one answers!"

Here the Captain returned alone; and Miss Larolles, flying to meethim, demanded where was her dog?

"I have the _malbeur_ to assure you, " answered he, "that I neverwas more _aneanti_ in my life! the pretty little fellow has brokeanother leg!"

Miss Larolles, in a passion of grief, then declared she was certainthat Morrice had maimed him thus on purpose, and desired to know wherethe vile wretch was?

"He was so much discomposed at the incident, " replied the Captain, "that he rode instantly another way. I took up the pretty fellowtherefore myself, and have done _mon possible_ not to derangehim. "

The unfortunate little animal was then delivered to Miss Larolles; andafter much lamentation, they at length continued their walk; and, without further adventure, arrived at the inn. 

BOOK VIII. 

CHAPTER i

AN INTERRUPTION. 

But here, instead of finding, as she expected, Mrs Charlton, and freshhorses in readiness, Cecilia saw neither chaise nor preparation; MrsCharlton was quietly seated in a parlour, and drinking tea with MrsMears. 

Vexed and disappointed, she ordered horses immediately to the chaise, and entreated Mrs Charlton to lose no more time. But the variousdelays which had already retarded them, had made it now so late thatit was impossible to get into London by daylight, and Mrs Charlton nothaving courage to be upon the road after dark, had settled to sleep atthe inn, and purposed not to proceed till the next morning. 

Half distracted at this new difficulty, Cecilia begged to speak withher alone, and then represented in the most earnest manner, theabsolute necessity there was for her being in London that night:"Every thing, " said she, "depends upon it, and the whole purpose of myjourney will otherwise be lost, for Mr Delvile will else think himselfextremely ill used, and to make him reparation, I may be compelled tosubmit to almost whatever terms he shall propose. "

Mrs Charlton, kind and yielding, withstood not this entreaty, whichCecilia made with infinite pain to herself, from the reluctance shefelt to pursuing her own interest and inclination in opposition tothose of her worthy old friend: but as she was now circumstanced, sheconsidered the immediate prosecution of her journey as her onlyresource against first irritating Delvile by an abrupt disappointment, and appeasing him next by a concession which would make thatdisappointment end in nothing. 

The chaise was soon ready, and Mrs Charlton and Cecilia were rising totake leave of the company, when a man and horse galloped full speedinto the inn-yard, and in less than a minute, Morrice bounced into theroom. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, " cried he, quite out of breath with haste, "Ihave got some news for you! I've just found out who that person isthat has been watching us. "

Cecilia, starting at this most unwelcome intelligence, would now haverun into the chaise without hearing him proceed; but Mrs Charlton, whoknew neither whom nor what he meant, involuntarily stopt, and Cecilia, whose arm she leant upon, was compelled to stay. 

Every one else eagerly desired to know who he was. 

"Why I'll tell you, " said he, "how I found him out. I was thinking inmy own mind what I could possibly do to make amends for that unluckyaccident about the dog, and just then I spied the very man that hadmade me drop him; so I thought at least I'd find out who he was. Irode up to him so quick that he could not get away from me, though Isaw plainly it was the thing he meant. But still he kept himselfmuffled up, just as he did before. Not so snug, thought I, my friend, I shall have you yet! It's a fine evening, Sir, says I; but he took nonotice: so then I came more to the point; Sir, says I, I think, I havehad the pleasure of seeing you, though I quite forget where. Still hemade no answer: if you have no objection, Sir, says I, I shall be gladto ride with you, for the night's coming on, and we have neither of usa servant. But then, without a word speaking, he rode on the quicker. However, I jogged by his side, as fast as he, and said, Pray Sir, didyou know anything of that company you were looking at so hard justnow? And at this he could hold out no longer; he turned to me in amost fierce passion, and said Pray, Sir, don't be troublesome. Andthen he got off; for when I found by his voice who he was, I let himalone. "

Cecilia, who could bear to hear no more, again hastened Mrs Charlton, who now moved, on; but Morrice, stepping between them both and thedoor, said Now do pray, Miss Beverley, guess who it was. "

"No indeed, I cannot, " said she, in the utmost confusion, "Nor have Iany time to hear. Come, dear madam, we shall be very late indeed. "

"O but I must tell you before you go;--why it was young Mr Delvile!the same that I saw with you one night at the Pantheon, and that Iused to meet last spring at Mr Harrel's. "

"Mr Delvile!" repeated every one; "very strange he should not speak. "

"Pray, ma'am, " continued Morrice, "is it not the same gentleman thatwas at Mr Biddulph's?"

Cecilia, half dead with shame and vexation, stammered out "No, no, --Ibelieve not, --I can't tell;--I have not a moment to spare. "

And then, at last, got Mrs Charlton out of the room, and into thechaise. But thither, before she could drive off, she was followed byMr Gosport, who gravely came to offer his advice that she wouldimmediately lodge an information at the Public Office at Bow Street, that a very suspicious looking man had been observed loitering inthose parts, who appeared to harbour most dangerous designs againsther person and property. 

Cecilia was too much confounded to rally or reply, and Mr Gosportreturned to his party with his speech unanswered. 

The rest of the journey was without any new casualty, for late as itwas, they escaped being robbed: but neither robbers nor new casualtieswere wanting to make it unpleasant to Cecilia; the incidents which hadalready happened sufficed for that purpose; and the consciousness ofbeing so generally betrayed, added to the delay of her recantation, prepared her for nothing but mortifications to herself, and conflictswith Delvile the most bitter and severe. 

It was near ten o'clock before they arrived in Pall-Mall. The house towhich Delvile had given directions was easily found, and the servantsent forward had prepared the people of it for their reception. 

In the cruellest anxiety and trepidation, Cecilia then counted everymoment till Delvile came. She planned an apology for her conduct withall the address of which she was mistress, and determined to bear hisdisappointment and indignation with firmness: yet the part she had toact was both hard and artificial; she sighed to have it over, andrepined she must have it at all. 

The instant there was a knock at the door, she flew out upon thestairs to listen; and hearing his well-known voice enquiring for theladies who had just taken the lodgings, she ran back to Mrs Charlton, saying, "Ah, madam, assist me I entreat! for now must I merit, orforfeit your esteem for ever!"

"Can you pardon, " cried Delvile, as he entered the room, "an intrusionwhich was not in _our bond?_ But how could I wait till to-morrow, when I knew you were in town to-night?"

He then made his compliments to Mrs Charlton, and, after enquiring howshe had borne her journey, turned again to Cecilia, whose uneasysensations he saw but too plainly in her countenance: "Are you angry, "cried he, anxiously, "that I have ventured to come hither to-night?"

"No, " answered she, struggling with all her feelings for composure;"what we wish is easily excused; and I am glad to see you to-night, because otherwise--"

She hesitated; and Delvile, little imagining why, thanked her in thewarmest terms for her condescension. He then related how he had beentormented by Morrice, enquired why Mr Monckton had not accompaniedher, and what could possibly have induced her to make her journey solate, or, with so large a party, to be walking upon the high roadinstead of hastening to London. 

"I wonder not, " answered she, more steadily, "at your surprise, thoughI have now no time to lessen it. You have never, I find, received myletter?"

"No, " cried he, much struck by her manner; "was it to forbid ourmeeting till to-morrow?"

"To-morrow!" she repeated expressively, "no; it was to forbid--"

Here the door was suddenly opened, and Morrice burst into the room. 

The dismay and astonishment of Delvile at sight of him could only beequalled by the confusion and consternation of Cecilia; but Morrice, perceiving neither, abruptly called out "Miss Beverley, I quite begyour pardon for coming so late, but you must know" then stopping shortupon seeing Delvile, "Good lord, " he exclaimed, "if here is not our_gentleman spy!_ Why, Sir, you have not spared the spur! I leftyou galloping off quite another way. "

"However that may be Sir, " cried Delvile, equally enraged at theinterruption and the observation, "you did not, I presume, wait uponMiss Beverley to talk of _me_?"

"No, Sir, " answered he, lightly, "for I had told her all about you atthe inn. Did not I, Miss Beverley? Did not I tell you I was sure itwas Mr Delvile that was dodging us about so? Though I believe, Sir, you thought I had not found you out?"

"And pray, young man, " said Mrs Charlton, much offended by thisfamiliar intrusion, "how did you find _us_ out?"

"Why, ma'am, by the luckiest accident in the world! Just as I wasriding into town, I met the returned chaise that brought you; and Iknew the postilion very well, as I go that road pretty often: so, bythe merest chance in the world, I saw him by the light of the moon. And then he told me where he had set you down. "

"And pray, Sir, " again asked Mrs Charlton, "what was your reason formaking the enquiry?"

"Why, ma'am, I had a little favour to ask of Miss Beverley, that mademe think I would take the liberty to call. "

"And was this time of night, Sir, " she returned, "the only one youcould chase for that purpose?"

"Why, ma'am, I'll tell you how that was; I did not mean to have calledtill to-morrow morning; but as I was willing to know if the postilionhad given me a right direction, I knocked one soft little knock at thedoor, thinking you might be gone to bed after your journey, merely toask if it was the right house; but when the servant told me there wasa gentleman with you already, I thought there would be no harm in juststepping for a moment up stairs. "

"And what, Sir, " said Cecilia, whom mingled shame and vexation hadhitherto kept silent, "is your business with me?"

"Why, ma'am, I only just called to give you a direction to a mostexcellent dog-doctor, as we call him, that lives at the comer of--"

"A dog-doctor, Sir?" repeated Cecilia, "and what have I to do with anysuch direction?"

"Why you must know, ma'am, I have been in the greatest concernimaginable about that accident which happened to me with the poorlittle dog, and so--"

"What little dog, Sir?" cried Delvile, who now began to conclude hewas not sober, "do you know what you are talking of?"

"Yes, Sir, for it was that very little dog you made me drop out of myarms, by which means he broke his other leg. "

"_I_ made you drop him?" cried Delvile, angrily, "I believe, Sir, you had much better call some other time; it does not appear to methat you are in a proper situation for remaining here at present. "

"Sir, I shall be gone in an instant, " answered Morrice, "I merelywanted to beg the favour of Miss Beverley to tell that young lady thatowned the dog, that if she will carry him to this man, I am sure hewill make a cure of him. "

"Come, Sir, " said. Delvile, convinced now of his inebriety, "if youplease we will walk away together. "

"I don't mean to take _you_ away, Sir, " said Morrice, lookingvery significantly, "for I suppose you have not rode so hard to go sosoon; but as to me, I'll only write the direction, and be off. "

Delvile, amazed and irritated at so many following specimens ofignorant assurance, would not, in his present eagerness, have scrupledturning him out of the house, had he not thought it imprudent, uponsuch an occasion, to quarrel with him, and improper, at so late anhour, to be left behind; he therefore only, while he was writing thedirection, told Cecilia, in a low voice, that he would get rid of himand return in an instant. 

They then went together; leaving Cecilia in an agony of distresssurpassing all she had hitherto experienced. "Ah, Mrs Charlton, " shecried, "what refuge have I now from ridicule, or perhaps disgrace! MrDelvile has been detected watching me in disguise! he has beendiscovered at this late hour meeting me in private! The story willreach his family with all the hyperbole of exaggeration;--how will hisnoble mother disdain me! how cruelly shall I sink before the severityof her eye!"

Mrs Charlton tried to comfort her, but the effort was vain, and shespent her time in the bitterest repining till eleven o'clock. Delvile's not returning then added wonder to her sadness, and theimpropriety of his returning at all so late, grew every instant moreglaring. 

At last, though in great disturbance, and evidently much ruffled inhis temper, he came: "I feared, " he cried, "I had passed the time foradmittance, and the torture I have suffered from being detained hasalmost driven me wild. I have been in misery to see you again, --yourlooks, your manner, --the letter you talk of, --all have filled me withalarm; and though I know not what it is I have to dread, I find itimpossible to rest a moment without some explanation. Tell me, then, why you seem thus strange and thus depressed? Tell me what that letterwas to forbid? Tell me any thing, and every thing, but that you repentyour condescension. "

"That letter, " said Cecilia, "would have explained to you all. Iscarce know how to communicate its contents: yet I hope you will hearwith patience what I acknowledge I have resolved upon only fromnecessity. That letter was to tell you that to-morrow we must notmeet;--it was to prepare you, indeed, for our meeting, perhaps, nevermore!"

"Gracious heaven!" exclaimed he, starting, "what is it you mean?"

"That I have made a promise too rash to be kept; that you must pardonme if, late as it is, I retract, since I am convinced it was wrong, and must be wretched in performing it. "

Confounded and dismayed, for a moment he continued silent, and thenpassionately called out, "Who has been with you to defame me in youropinion? Who has barbarously wronged my character since I left youMonday? Mr Monckton received me coldly, --has he injured me in youresteem? Tell, tell me but to whom I owe this change, that myvindication, if it restores not your favour, may at least make youcease to that once I was honoured with some share of it!"

"It wants not to be restored, " said Cecilia, with much softness, "since it has never been alienated. Be satisfied that I think of youas I thought when we last parted, and generously forbear to reproachme, when I assure you I am actuated by principles which you ought notto disapprove. "

"And are you then, unchanged?" cried he, more gently, "and is youresteem for me still--"

"I thought it justice to say so once, " cried she, hastily interruptinghim, "but exact from me nothing more. It is too late for us now totalk any longer; to-morrow you may find my letter at Mrs Robert's, andthat, short as it is, contains my resolution and its cause. "

"Never, " cried he vehemently, "can I quit you without knowing it! Iwould not linger till to-morrow in this suspence to be master of theuniverse!"

"I have told it you, Sir, already: whatever is clandestine carries aconsciousness of evil, and so repugnant do I find it to my dispositionand opinions, that till you give me back the promise I so unworthilymade, I must be a stranger to peace, because at war with my ownactions and myself. "

"Recover, then, your peace, " cried Delvile with much emotion, "for Ihere acquit you of all promise!--to fetter, to compel you, were tooinhuman to afford me any happiness. Yet hear me, dispassionately hearme, and deliberate a moment before you resolve upon my exile. Yourscruples I am not now going to combat, I grieve that they are sopowerful, but I have no new arguments with which to oppose them; all Ihave to say, is, that it is now too late for a retreat to satisfythem. "

"True, Sir, and far too true! yet is it always best to do right, however tardily; always better to repent, than to grow callous inwrong. "

"Suffer not, however, your delicacy for my family to make you forgetwhat is due to yourself as well as to me: the fear of shocking you ledme just now to conceal what a greater fear now urges me to mention. The honour I have had in view is already known to many, and in a veryshort time there are none will be ignorant of it. That impudent youngman, Morrice, had the effrontery to rally me upon my passion for you, and though I reproved him with great asperity, he followed me into acoffee-house, whither I went merely to avoid him. There I forcedmyself to stay, till I saw him engaged with a news-paper, and then, through various private streets and alleys, I returned hither; butjudge my indignation, when the moment I knocked at the door, Iperceived him again at my side!"

"Did he, then, see you come in?"

"I angrily demanded what he meant by thus pursuing me; he verysubmissively begged my pardon, and said he had had a notion I shouldcome back, and had therefore only followed, me to see if he was right!I hesitated for an instant whether to chastise, or confide in him; butbelieving a few hours would make his impertinence immaterial, I didneither, --the door opened, and I came in. "

He stopt; but Cecilia was too much shocked to answer him. 

"Now, then, " said he, "weigh your objections against the consequenceswhich must follow. It is discovered I attended you in town; it will bepresumed I had your permission for such attendance: to separate, therefore, now, will be to no purpose with respect to that delicacywhich makes you wish it. It will be food for conjecture, for enquiry, for wonder, almost while both our names are remembered, and while tome it will bring the keenest misery in the severity of mydisappointment, it will cast over your own conduct a veil of mysteryand obscurity wholly subversive of that unclouded openness, that fair, transparent ingenuousness, by which it has hitherto beendistinguished. "

"Alas, then, " said she, "how dreadfully have I erred, that whateverpath I now take must lead me wrong!"

"You overwhelm me with grief, " cried Delvile, "by finding you thusdistressed, when I had hoped--Oh cruel Cecilia! how different to thisdid I hope to have met you!--all your doubts settled, all your fearsremoved, your mind perfectly composed, and ready, unreluctantly, toratify the promise with so much sweetness accorded me!--where now arethose hopes!--where now. --"

"Why will you not begone?" cried Cecilia, uneasily, "indeed it is toolate to stay. "

"Tell me first, " cried he, with great energy, "and let good MrsCharlton speak too, --ought not every objection to our union, howeverpotent, to give way, without further hesitation, to the certainty thatour intending it must become public? Who that hears of our meeting inLondon, at such a season, in such circumstances, and at such hours, --"

"And why, " cried Cecilia, angrily, "do you mention them, and yetstay?"

"I _must_ speak now, " answered he with quickness, "or loseforever all that is dear to me, and add to the misery of that loss, theheart-piercing reflection of having injured her whom of all the worldI most love, most value, and most revere!"

"And how injured?" cried Cecilia, half alarmed and half displeased:"Surely I must strangely have lived to fear now the voice of calumny?"

"If any one has ever, " returned he, "so lived as to dare defy it, MissBeverley is she: but though safe by the established purity of yourcharacter from calumny, there are other, and scarce less invidiousattacks, from which no one is exempt, and of which the refinement, thesensibility of your mind, will render you but the more susceptible:ridicule has shafts, and impertinence has arrows, which though againstinnocence they may be levelled in vain, have always the power ofwounding tranquility. "

Struck with a truth which she could not controvert, Cecilia sigheddeeply, but spoke not. 

"Mr Delvile is right, " said Mrs Charlton, "and though your plan, mydear Cecilia, was certainly virtuous and proper, when you set out fromBury, the purpose of your journey must now be made so public, that itwill no longer be judicious nor rational. "

Delvile poured forth his warmest thanks for this friendlyinterposition, and then, strengthened by such an advocate, re-urgedall his arguments with redoubled hope and spirit. 

Cecilia, disturbed, uncertain, comfortless, could frame her mind to noresolution; she walked about the room, deliberated, --determined, --wavered and deliberated again. Delvile then grew more urgent, andrepresented so strongly the various mortifications which must followso tardy a renunciation of their intentions, that, terrified andperplexed, and fearing the breach of their union would now be moreinjurious to her than its ratification, she ceased all opposition tohis arguments, and uttered no words but of solicitation that he wouldleave her. 

"I will, " cried he, "I will begone this very moment. Tell me but firstyou will think of what I have said, and refer me not to your letter, but deign yourself to pronounce my doom, when you have considered ifit may not be softened. "

To this she tacitly consented; and elated with fresh rising hope, herecommended his cause to the patronage of Mrs Charlton, and then, taking leave of Cecilia, "I go, " he said, "though I have yet athousand things to propose and to supplicate, and though still in asuspense that my temper knows ill how to endure; but I should ratherbe rendered miserable than happy, in merely overpowering your reasonby entreaty. I leave you, therefore, to your own reflections; yetremember, --and refuse not to remember with some compunction, that allchance, all possibility of earthly happiness for _me_ dependsupon your decision. "

He then tore himself away. 

Cecilia, shocked at the fatigue she had occasioned her good oldfriend, now compelled her to go to rest, and dedicated the remainingpart of the night to uninterrupted deliberation. 

It seemed once more in her power to be mistress of her destiny; butthe very liberty of choice she had so much coveted, now attained, appeared the most heavy of calamities; since, uncertain even what sheought to do, she rather wished to be drawn than to lead, ratherdesired to be guided than to guide. She was to be responsible not onlyto the world but to herself for the whole of this momentoustransaction, and the terror of leaving either dissatisfied, madeindependence burthensome, and unlimited power a grievance. 

The happiness or misery which awaited her resolution were butsecondary considerations in the present state of her mind; her consentto a clandestine action she lamented as an eternal blot to hercharacter, and the undoubted publication of that consent as equallyinjurious to her fame. Neither retracting nor fulfilling herengagement could now retrieve what was past, and in the bitterness ofregret for the error she had committed she thought happinessunattainable for the remainder of her life. 

In this gloomy despondence passed the night, her eyes never closed, her determination never formed. Morning, however, came, and uponsomething to fix was indispensable. 

She now, therefore, finally employed herself in briefly, comparing thegood with the evil of giving Delvile wholly up, or becoming his forever. 

In accepting him, she was exposed to all the displeasure of hisrelations, and, which affected her most, to the indignant severity ofhis mother: but not another obstacle could be found that seemed of anyweight to oppose him. 

In refusing him she was liable to the derision of the world, to sneersfrom strangers, and remonstrances from her friends, to becoming atopic for ridicule, if not for slander, and an object of curiosity ifnot of contempt. 

The ills, therefore, that threatened her marriage, though mostafflicting, were least disgraceful, and those which awaited itsbreach, if less serious, were more mortifying. 

At length, after weighing every circumstance as well as her perturbedspirits would permit, she concluded that so late to reject him mustbring misery without any alleviation, while accepting him, thoughfollowed by wrath and reproach, left some opening for future hope, andsome prospect of better days. 

To fulfil, therefore, her engagement was her final resolution.