BERRY AND CO. 

BY THE SAME AUTHOR

_Published by Ward, Lock & Co. :--_BERRY AND CO. JONAH AND CO. MAIDEN STAKES. THE STOLEN MARCH. ANTHONY LYVEDEN. VALERIE FRENCH. AND FIVE WERE FOOLISH. AS OTHER MEN ARE. THE BROTHER OF DAPHNE. THE COURTS OF IDLENESS. 

_Published by Hodder & Stoughton:--_BLIND CORNER. PERISHABLE GOODS. BLOOD ROYAL. FIRE BELOW. ADÈLE AND CO. 

 BERRY AND CO. 

 BY

 DORNFORD YATES

 WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

 LONDON AND MELBOURNE

PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY PURNELL AND SONSPAULTON (SOMERSET) AND LONDON

_DEAR VALERIE, _

_When a writer admits that he has an affectionfor something which he has written, it is high time topray for his soul. Yet I make bold to confess thatthere are in this book some passages which I hold dear--aseeming vanity, which must be explained. _

_Many times you have found me at work upon thesechapters. Often you have taken ill-written pages ofmanuscript from my table and, sitting down in a chair, deciphered them for what they were worth. Once ortwice, whilst you read, you have fallen into silverylaughter. _

_Do you wonder that I treasure the sentences whichdrew forth such music?_

_This is my dedication. _

_As many as see you are glad of the sight. All whoknow you are proud of the honour. But the manwhose efforts your mirth has commended is the proudestand happiest of the lot. _

_Need I say that your name is not Valerie? Ithink not. You will know whom I mean. _

_Most faithfully yours, _

_DORNFORD YATES. _

_Pau, November, 1920. _

CONTENTS

I HOW WILL NOGGIN WAS FOOLED, AND BERRYRODE FORTH AGAINST HIS WILL

II HOW DAPHNE WROTE FOR ASSISTANCE, ANDMR. HOLLY WAS OUTBID

III HOW A MAN MAY FOLLOW HIS OWN HAT, ANDBERRY TOOK A LAMP IN HIS HAND

IV HOW NOBBY CAME TO SLEEP UPON MY BED, ANDBERRY FELL AMONG THIEVES

V HOW JILL'S EDUCATION WAS IMPROVED, ANDDAPHNE GAVE HER HUSBAND THE SLIP

VI HOW NOBBY ATTENDED A WEDDING, AND BERRYSPOKE NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

VII HOW JONAH OBEYED HIS ORDERS, AND DAPHNEAND KATHARINE FESTIVAL BACKED THESAME HORSE

VIII HOW JILL SLEPT UNDISTURBED, AND NOBBYATTENDED CHURCH PARADE

IX HOW ADÈLE FESTE ARRIVED, AND MR. DUNKELSBAUMSUPPED WITH THE DEVIL

X HOW ADÈLE BROKE HER DREAM, AND VANDYPLEYDELL TOOK EXERCISE

XI HOW NOBBY MET BLUE BANDALA, AND ADÈLEGAVE JONAH A KISS

CHAPTER I

HOW WILL NOGGIN WAS FOOLED, AND BERRY RODE FORTH AGAINST HIS WILL. 

"Who's going to church?" said Daphne, consulting her wrist-watch. 

There was a profound silence. 

My sister turned to Jill. 

"Are you coming?" she said. "Berry and I are. "

"I beg your pardon, " said her husband. 

"Of course you're coming, " said Daphne. 

"Not in these trousers. This is the first time I've worn them, and I'mnot going to kneel in them for any one. "

"Then you'll change, " said his wife. "You've plenty of time. "

Berry groaned. 

"This is sheer Bolshevism, " he said. "Is not my soul my own?"

"We shall start, " said Daphne, "in twenty minutes. "

It was nearly half-past ten in the morning of a beautiful summer day, and we were all taking our ease in the sunshine upon the terrace. It wasthe first Sunday which we had spent all together at White Ladies fornearly five years. 

So far as the eye could see, nothing had changed. 

At the foot of the steps the great smooth lawn stretched like a finegreen carpet, its shadowed patches yet bright with dew. There were thetall elms and the copper beech and all the proud company of spreadinggiants--what were five years to them? There was the clump ofrhododendrons, a ragged blotch of crimson, seemingly spilled upon thegreen turf, and there the close box hedge that walled away therose-garden. Beyond the sunk fence a gap showed an acre or so of Bull'sMead--a great deep meadow, and in it two horses beneath a chestnut tree, their long tails a-swish, sleepily nosing each other to rout the flies;while in the distance the haze of heat hung like a film over the rollinghills. Close at hand echoed the soft impertinence of a cuckoo, and twofat wood-pigeons waddled about the lawn, picking and stealing as theywent. The sky was cloudless, and there was not a breath of wind. 

The stable clock chimed the half-hour. 

My sister returned to the attack. 

"Are you coming, Boy?"

"Yes, " said I. "I am. "

Berry sat up and stared at me. 

"Don't be silly, " he said. "There's a service this morning. Besides, they've changed the lock of the poor-box. "

"I want to watch the Vicar's face when he sees you, " said I. 

"It will be a bit of a shock, " said Jonah, looking up from the paper. "Is his heart all right?"

"Rotten, " said Daphne. "But that doesn't matter. I sent him a note towarn him yesterday. "

"What did you say?" demanded her husband. 

"I said, '_We're back at last, and--don't faint--we're all coming toChurch to-morrow, and you've got to come back to lunch. _' And now, forgoodness' sake, go and change. "

"But we shall perspire, " said Berry. "Profusely. To walk half a mile inthis sun is simply asking for it. Besides----"

"What's the car done?" said Jonah. "I'm going, and I can't hurry withthis. " He tapped his short leg affectionately. "We needn't take Fitch. Boy or I can drive. "

"Right oh, " said my sister, rising. "Is ten-minutes-to early enough?"

Jonah nodded. 

"This, " said Berry, "is a conspiracy for which you will all pay. Literally. I shall take the plate round, and from you four I shallaccept nothing but paper. Possibly I shall----"

Here the girls fell upon him and bore him protesting into the house andout of earshot. 

"Who's going to look after the car while we're in church?" said I. 

"There's sure to be somebody ready to earn a couple of bob, " said Jonah. "Besides, we can always disconnect the north-east trunnion, or jack herup and put the wheels in the vestry or something. "

"All right. Only we don't want her pinched. " With a yawn I rose to myfeet. "And now I suppose I'd better go and turn her out. "

"Right oh, " said Jonah, picking up his paper again. 

I strolled into the house. 

We were proud of the car. She was a 1914 Rolls, and we had bought her ata long price less than a week ago. Fresh from the coach-builder's, hertouring body was painted silver-grey, while her bonnet was of polishedaluminium. Fitted with every conceivable accessory, she was verygood-looking, charming alike to ride or drive, and she went like thewind. In a word, she did as handsome as she was. 

It was eight minutes to eleven as we slid past the lodge and on to theBilberry road. 

Before we had covered two furlongs, we swung round a corner to see asmart two-seater at rest by the dusty hedgerow, and a slight dark girlin fresh blue and white standing with one foot on the step, wiping herdainty fingers on a handful of cotton-waste. 

"Agatha!" cried Daphne and Jill. "Stop, Boy, stop!"

Obediently I slowed to a standstill, as my lady came running after us. 

"You might have told me, " she panted. "I never knew you were back. And Iam so glad. "

"We only arrived on Friday, dear, " said Daphne, and introduced Berry andme. Jonah, it appeared, had met Miss Deriot at tennis in 1914. 

"But you had your hair down then, " he said gravely. 

"It's a wonder I haven't got it down now, " said Miss Deriot. "Why didn'tyou come along ten minutes earlier? Then you could have changed mytire. "

"And why are you driving away from church?" said Jill. 

"One of the colts has sprained his shoulder, and we're out ofembrocation; so I'm going to get some from Brooch. "

"I'll come with you, " said Berry eagerly, preparing to leave the car. "Idon't like to think of you----"

"Nonsense, " said Daphne, detaining him. 

"But supposing she has another puncture?"

"Yes, I can see you mending it on a day like this. "

"It's very kind of you, " said Miss Deriot, with a puzzled smile. 

"Don't thank the fool, " said my sister. "If I thought he'd be theslightest use to you, I'd send him; but he only wants an excuse to getout of going to church. "

"Poor Jade, " said her husband. "I am a knight, a simple starlit knight, a Quixote of to-day. Your brutish instincts----"

"Carry on, Boy, " said Daphne. I let in the clutch. "And come over thisafternoon, Agatha, and we'll tell you all about everything. "

"Yes, do, " cried Jill. 

"All right, " said Miss Deriot. "So long. "

Three minutes later I was berthing the car close to the lich-gate in theshade of sweet-smelling limes, that made a trembling screen of foliagewithin the churchyard wall. 

As luck would have it, Will Noggin, once a groom in our service and nowa trooper of the Dragoon Guards, was leaning lazily against the greywall, taking his ease. As we drew abreast of him, he stood to attentionand saluted, a pleased grin of recognition lighting his healthy face. Wegreeted him gladly. 

"Glad to see you're all right, Will, " said Jill. 

"Thank you, miss. "

"Aren't you going to church?" said Daphne. 

"Not to-day, m'm. I'm on leave, and I've 'ad my share o' church paradesi' the last four years, m'm. "

We all laughed. 

"Well, if you're not going, " said I, "we want some one to keep an eye onthe car. "

"I'll do it gladly, sir. "

"Right oh! She's a pretty piece of goods, isn't she?"

"She is that, sir, " said Will, visibly impressed. 

As I followed the others into the porch, I glanced back to see oursentinel walking about his charge, bending an appreciative gaze upon herpoints. 

They were singing the _Venite_. 

On the ledge of our old pew lay a note addressed to "Major Pleydell" inthe Vicar's handwriting. When Berry had read it he passed it to Daphne, and I was able to read it over her shoulder. 

_DEAR MAJOR, _

_Sometimes in the old days you used to read the Lessons. I think weshould all like it if you would do so to-day; but don't, if you don'twant to. _

_Yours very sincerely, _

_JOHN BAGOT. _

In a postscript the writer named the appointed passages of Holy Writ. 

So soon as the first Psalm had started Berry stepped to the lectern, found his places and cast his eye over the text. Before the second Psalmwas finished, he was once more in his place. 

Doors and windows were open as wide as they could be set, and the littlechurch was flooded with light and fresh warm air, that coaxed the edgefrom the chill of thick stone walls and pillars, and made the frozenpavements cool and refreshing. Mustiness was clean gone, swept from herfrequent haunts by the sweet breath of Nature. The "dim, religiouslight" of Milton's ordering was this day displaced by Summer's honestsmile, simpler maybe, but no less reverent. And, when the singing wasstilled, you overheard the ceaseless sleepy murmur of that country choirof birds and beasts and insects that keeps its rare contented symphonyfor summer days in which you can find no fault. 

My impious eye wandered affectionately over familiar friends--the oldoak pews, almost chin-high, the Spanish organ, the reluctant gift of aproud galleon wrecked on the snarling coast ten miles away, the old"three-decker" with its dull crimson cushions and the fringed clothsthat hung so stiffly. A shaft of sunlight beat full on an old blackhatchment, making known the faded quarterings, while, underneath, aslender panel of brass, but two years old, showed that the teaching ofits grim forbear had not been vain. 

For so fair a morning, Bilberry village had done well. The church wastwo-thirds full, and, though there were many strange faces, it waspleasant here and there to recognize one we had known in the old days, and to learn from an involuntary smile that we had not been forgotten. 

It was just after the beginning of the Second Lesson that we heard theengine start. There was no mistaking the purr of our Rolls-Royce. For asecond the girls and Jonah and I stared at one another, panic-stricken. Then with one impulse we all started instinctively to our feet. As Ileft the pew I heard Daphne whisper, "Hsh! We can't all----" and she andJonah and Jill sank back twittering. Berry's eyes met mine for aninstant as I stepped into the aisle. They spoke volumes, but to hiseternal credit his voice never faltered. 

I almost ran to the porch, and I reached the lich-gate to see ourbeautiful car, piloted by a man in a grey hat, scudding up the straightwhite road, while in her wake tore a gesticulating trooper, shoutingimpotently, ridiculously out-distanced. Even as I watched, the carflashed round a bend and disappeared. 

For a moment I stood still in the middle of the road, stupefied. Then Iheard a horn sounded behind me, and I mechanically stepped to one side. Fifty yards away was the two-seater we had encountered on our way tochurch. 

Frantically I signalled to the girl at the wheel. As I did so, a burstof music signified that the Second Lesson had come to an end. 

"Whatever's the matter?" cried Miss Deriot, as she pulled up. 

"Somebody's pinched the Rolls. Will you----"

"Of course. Get in. Which way did they go?"

"Straight ahead, " said I, opening the door. 

We were well under way before I had taken my seat. As we came to thebend I threw a glance over my shoulder, to see four figures that I knewstanding without the lich-gate. They appeared to be arguing. As weturned the corner a stentorian voice yelled--

"The Bloodstock road, sir! I can see their blinkin' dust. "

Perched on one of the lower branches of a wayside oak, Will Noggin waspointing a shaking finger in the direction he named. 

 * * * * *

We were less than three miles from Bloodstock when the off hind tireburst. Miss Deriot brought the car to the side of the road and stoppedin the shadow of an old barn. 

"That, " she said, "has just done it. "

I opened the door and stepped down into the road. 

"It means a delay when we least want it, " said I ruefully. 

"Worse. I've had one burst already, and I only brought one spare wheel. "

I whistled. 

"Then we are indeed done, " said I. "I'm awfully sorry. Heaven knows howfar you are from your home. This comes of helping a comparativestranger. Let it be a lesson to you. "

My companion smiled. 

"I don't mind for myself, " she said, "but what about your car?"

I spread out my hands. 

"Reason dictates that I should foot-slog it to Bloodstock and try andget the police moving; but I can't leave you here. "

"You can easily, but you're not going to. I don't want to sit here forthe rest of the day. " She pointed to the barn. "Help me to get her inhere, and then we'll push off to Bloodstock together. "

A hurried reconnaissance led to the discovery of a little farmhouse, andtwo minutes later I was making urgent representations to the owner ofthe barn. To our relief the latter proved sympathetic and obliging, andbefore we again took to the road the two-seater was safely under lockand key. 

"And now, " said Miss Deriot, "how did it happen?"

"The theft? I can't imagine. We left that fool who yelled at us incharge. I suppose he left her to get a drink or something. This is onlythe fourth time we've had her out, " I added gloomily. 

"Oh, I say! Never mind. You're bound to get her again. Look at thatmeadow-sweet. Isn't it lovely? I wish I could paint. Can you?"

"I painted a key-cupboard once. It was hung, too. Outside thestillroom. "

"Pity you didn't keep it up, " said Miss Deriot. "It's a shame to wastetalent like that. Isn't it just broiling? I should love a bathe now. "

"I hope you don't wear stockings in the water, " said I. 

Miss Deriot glanced at her white ankles. 

"Is that a reflection?" she demanded. 

I shook my head. 

"By no manner of means. But there's a place for everything, isn't there?I mean----"

We both laughed. 

"That's better, " said my companion. "I couldn't bear to see you soworried this beautiful morning. "

"My dear, " said I, "you've a nice kind heart, and I thank you. "

"Don't mention it, " said Miss Deriot. 

From the crown of her broad-brimmed hat to the soles of her buckskinshoes she was the pink of daintiness. Health was springing in her freshcheeks, eagerness danced in her eyes, energy leapt from her carriage. Had she been haughty, you would have labelled her "Diana, " and have donewith it; but her eyes were gentle, and there was a tenderness about hersmall mouth that must have pardoned Actæon. A plain gold wrist-watch ona black silk strap was all her jewellery. 

"We'd better strike across the next field, " said Miss Deriot. "There's apath that'll bring us out opposite _The Thatcher_. It'll save us aboutfive minutes. "

"You might have been born here, " said I. 

"I was, " said Agatha. She nodded towards a beech wood that stood afurlong away. "The trees hide the house. But we left when I was seven, and only came back to the County five years ago. And here's our field. "

The five-barred gate was padlocked. I looked at my companion. 

"Shall I get over, advance ten paces, and gaze Into the middle distance?Or aren't you that sort?"

Miss Deriot flung back her head and laughed. 

"I'd rather you gave me a leg up, " she said. 

With a hand on my shoulder and a foot in my hand she was up and over inan instant. I vaulted after her. 

"You know, " I said, "we ought to perform, you and I. With a painter'sladder, a slack wire, and a little practice, we should do wonders. Onnon-matinée days I might even lift you with my teeth. That always goeswell, and no one would know you were as light as a rose-leaf. "

"Seven stone three in the bathroom, " said Agatha. "Without stockings. Some rose-leaf. "

We were going uphill. The meadow through which we were passing sloped toan oaken fence, stoutly constructed to save the cattle from a perilousfall. For on its farther side the ground fell away sheer, so that atthis point a bluff formed one high wall of the sunken road for which wewere making. _The Thatcher_, I remembered, stood immediately opposite tothe rough grass-grown steps, hewn years ago for the convenience of suchpassengers as we. There was a stile set in the fence, and as I swungmyself over I glanced down past the edge of the bluff and into the roadbelow. 

In the little curved space that fronted the inn the Rolls was standingsilent and unoccupied. 

I must have exclaimed, for Agatha was over the stile In an instant, andasking me what was the matter. Then she saw, and the words died on herlips. Together we stood spell-bound. 

The door of the inn was shut, and there was no one in sight. 

My first impulse was to dart down the steps, beat upon the door of thetavern, and confront the thief. But valour yielded to discretion. Thegreat thing was to recover the car. I had but a slip of a girl with me, the spot was a lonely one, and it was more than likely that thehighwayman was not working alone. Besides, Agatha must not be involvedin any violence. 

I turned to my lady. 

"You stay here. I'm going to take her and drive straight to thepolice-station. I'll pick up some police and come back just as quicklyas ever I can. "

Miss Deriot shook her pretty head. 

"I'm coming with you, " she said. "Carry on. "

"But, my dear----"

"I often wish I wasn't so obstinate. " She spoke meditatively. "But we'reall like that. Mules aren't in it with the Deriots, " she added, with adazzling smile. 

"Neither, apparently, are cucumbers, " said I, and with that I began todescend the rough stairs, stepping as delicately as I could. 

Half-way down I turned to look at my companion, and at that moment thestep upon which I was standing gave way. The scrambling sounds whichproclaimed my fall were followed by the rasping protest of yieldingcloth, and I came to rest six feet from the road at the expense of apre-War coat, which had caught the corner of one of the unplaned risers. All had been so still, that in that hollow place the noise could nothave failed to attract the attention of any one who was within earshot, and I lay for a moment where I had fallen, straining my ears for thesound of footsteps or voices. 

"Are you all right?" whispered a soft voice above me. 

I turned my head and nodded. Miss Deriot, standing with clasped hands, heaved a sigh of relief and prepared to continue her descent. 

Gingerly I stepped down into the sandy road and started to cross ita-tiptoe. 

Facing towards Bloodstock, the car presented her off side to us. 

With the utmost caution I proceeded to induct myself into the driver'sseat. As I sat down, Miss Deriot slipped in front of the bonnet andround to the near side. She was opening the high side-door and my footwas on the self-starter, when I heard the murmur of voices. 

We were not a second too soon. 

The moment I had started the engine there was a cry followed by theclattering of heavy shoes upon cobbles, and as the car slid into theroad a man in a grey hat came tearing out of the inn's courtyard, wavinghis arms and yelling like one possessed. Hard on his heels came poundinghis supporters, three of them, all bellowing like bulls. 

So much I saw for myself. Agatha, kneeling on the seat by my side, keptme informed of their movements till we swept out of sight. 

"He's simply dancing. The one in the grey hat, I mean. Now he's shakinghis fist at us. Oh, he's mad. He's thrown his hat on the ground. O-o-o, Boy, he's trying to kick one of the others. Oh, I wish you couldsee.... " The merry voice dissolved into peals of laughter. 

Then the road curled, and Agatha turned left about and settled herselfby my side. 

"How did you know my Christian name?" I demanded. 

"Your sister used it this morning. You see, I've forgotten your other, and I can't keep on saying 'you. ' But I won't do it again. "

"Please, Agatha. "

"Deriot. One 'r. ' I say, you've torn your coat properly. "

"It feels as if it was in two pieces, " said I. 

"If it wasn't for the collar, it would be, " said Agatha. "Never mind. Bare backs are still fashionable. And what's a torn coat, when you'vegot the car again?"

"You're right, " I agreed. "You'd hardly believe it, " I added, "but I cantell from the feel of her that some stranger's been driving. "

"I can believe it. After all, a car's just like a horse. "

As she spoke, we sped into the market square of Bloodstock. The policestation stood in Love Lane, a couple of streets away. 

Here a disappointment was in store. The sole representative of the Lawwas a station sergeant in his shirt-sleeves and a state of profuseperspiration. Between his lips was a penholder, and he held a telephonereceiver to his left ear. In an adjoining room the bell of anothertelephone was ringing violently in long regular spasms, while, somewherequite close, a dog was giving ceaseless vent to those short sharp barkswhich denote impatience of detention. 

A sudden elevation of the sergeant's eyebrows invited me to state mybusiness, but before I had spoken two sentences he shifted the penholderfrom his mouth and shook his head. 

"'Fraid I can't 'elp you at the moment, sir. That's the third car what'sbeen stole in this distric' this mornin'. There's a 'ole gang of 'emabout. Every one excep' me's out after 'em now. 'Eaven knows whenthey'll come in. An' there's that other telephone goin' like mad, an'the Chief Constable's lef' his bull-dawg tied up there, an' 'e won't letme within six foot of it. " He turned to blare into the mouthpiece. "'Ullo! 'Oo _are_ you? 'Oo _are_ you? Wot! Oh, I can't bear it. 'Ere, for 'Eaven's sake, 'old the line. " He set down the receiver, shook thesweat out of his eyes, and sank on to a stool. "Another blinkin' cargone, " he said hoarsely. "I dunno wot's the matter with the world. Iwish I was back in France. "

 * * * * *

Love Lane was a narrow street, so I did not attempt to turn the car, butdrove on and presently out of the town by back streets on to theBilberry road. 

It would have been better if I had telephoned to White Ladies beforeleaving Bloodstock, to announce my recovery of the car; but I wasexpecting to be back there so soon that it seemed unnecessary. 

Indeed, it was only when we were once more under way that I thought ofthe colt and the embrocation, to say nothing of my lady's two-seater, now standing helpless in the gloom of the wayside barn. 

"I tell you what, " said I. "We'll drive to the barn and pick up thelotion, and then I'll take you home. Then I can run your chauffeur backto the barn with a spare cover, drop him there, and push off to WhiteLadies. "

"I can improve on that, " said Agatha, with a glance at her wrist. "It'llbe past one by the time we get home, so you must stay to lunch. You cantelephone to White Ladies from there. And afterwards I'll go back withyou--I was to come over this afternoon, wasn't I?--and we can drop thechauffeur at the barn on the way. And he can come for me in theevening. "

Agatha was living at Broadacre, a fine old place on the edge of theforest itself, and thither we came without incident, just as anold-fashioned gong was summoning the household to meat. 

Admiral and Mrs. Deriot were kindness itself. First I was given a long, cold, grateful drink. Then the old sailor led me to his own chamber andministered personally to my wants. My coat was given to a maid to beroughly stitched, and when I appeared at luncheon it was in a jacketbelonging to my host. Our story was told and retold, the lawlessness ofthe year of Grace 1919 was bewailed, and a violent denunciation ofmotor-thieves was succeeded by a bitter proscription of the CountyPolice. 

In the midst of my entertainment I remembered that I had not telephonedto White Ladies, but the servant sent to make the connection wasinformed by the Exchange that the line was out of order. 

"I expect it's fused, " said I. "With Berry at one end and that stationsergeant at the other, the strain must have been fearful. "

 * * * * *

It was half-past two before we were once more in the car. On the backseat sat the Deriots' chauffeur, holding a spare wheel between hisknees. 

It did not take us long to reach the barn, and, so soon as we had oncemore unearthed the farmer, authorized him to suffer the chauffeur toremove the two-seater, and discharged our debt for "accommodation, " Iturned the Rolls round and headed for White Ladies. 

"She's certainly a beautiful car, " said Agatha, as the Rolls sailed up atreacherously steep gradient on top. "It's like being in a lift. "

"And, but for you, we might never have seen her again. Shall I give youa stamp album, or would you like to drive?"

"D'you really mean that?" said Miss Deriot. 

I shot her a glance. There was no mistaking the eagerness of her partedlips and the sparkle of her gay brown eyes. By way of replying I broughtthe car to a standstill. A moment later we had changed places. 

"It's awfully kind of you, " said Agatha delightedly, as she let in theclutch. "I've always wanted to drive a Rolls. I hope I shan't hurt her. "

"You'll do her good, " said I. "I watched you in the two-seater. You'vegot beautiful hands. "

"Thank you, Boy. "

"Now you shall have a stamp album as well. Go carefully here. There usedto be a wasps' nest in that bank, but it's closed now, same as theGerman banks. What a war!"

"But I don't collect stamps. "

"Then she shall have a dog. What about a Sealyham to sleep on your bedand bite the postman?"

"I'd love one, " said Agatha. 

"And you'll sit up in bed in the morning, with your hair all about youreyes, and smile at him, and he'll growl back at you--I can just seeyou. "

"Thanks awfully. But you're wrong about my hair. "

"Is it never unruly?"

"Only by day. I wish to goodness I could wear it down. "

"So do I. Then we could all sit on it when the grass was wet. At themoment there's a particularly beautiful tress caressing your leftshoulder. And I think you ought to know that the wind is kissing itquite openly. It's all very embarrassing. I hope I shan't catch it, " Iadded cheerfully. 

Miss Deriot made a supreme effort to look severe. 

"If you do, " she said uncertainly, "I shall drive straight into thehorse-pond. "

"'Sh!" said I reprovingly. "You oughtn't to jest about such things. Youmight catch it yourself. Easily. " Here we passed the horse-pond. "Youknow you'll never be able to look fierce so long as you have thatdimple. You'll have to fill it up or something. I suppose it's full ofdew every morning now. "

Without a word Agatha slowed down, turned up a by-road, and stopped. Then she proceeded to back the car. 

"What on earth is she doing?" said I. 

She turned a glowing face to mine. 

"Going back to the horse-pond, " she flashed. 

I laid a hand on her arm and she stopped. 

"My dear, if you must have a bath, you shall have one directly you getto White Ladies. I'll turn on the water for you. But let me beg ofyou----"

"If I go on, will you promise to behave?"

"Faithfully. "

"And fold your arms and sit like a groom all the way?"

"I suppose you couldn't make it a footman. Then I could stand on thepetrol tank. However, as it's your birthday----"

I folded my arms with a sigh. Instantly Agatha leaned towards me with adazzling smile. 

"Good Boy, " she said in a caressing tone. "Now he shall have a stampalbum. "

"But I don't collect stamps. "

The smile deepened. But for her red mouth, her little white teeth wouldhave been the prettiest things in the world. 

"Well, I'd thought of a stamp album, " she said slowly. "However, as it'syour birthday----"

A minute later we were back in the main road. 

 * * * * *

By my direction Miss Deriot drove straight to the stables, and we leftthe car standing in the middle of the yard. 

As we walked round to the front of the house, "We won't tell the othersthat we've found her just yet, " said I. "We'll hear what they've got tosay first. "

"Perhaps they're all out looking for her, " said Agatha. 

"Not all. Daphne's sure to be here somewhere. "

As I spoke we rounded a clump of laurels to see the lady in questioncomfortably ensconced in a deck-chair upon the lawn. By her side wasJill, seated upon a cushion, one little foot tucked under her, nursingthe other's instep with her slim, brown hand. On a rug at her feet layJonah, his chin propped between his two palms and a pipe in his mouth. 

All three were gazing contentedly across the grass to where the driveswept wide to the foot of the broad grey steps. _There stood a handsomeRolls-Royce, the facsimile of the one from which we had just alighted. _

With a great gasp Agatha stopped dead, and I recoiled as from a spectre. Instinctively we clasped one another. 

"It's all right, " I whispered. "I've seen it too. It'll go away in amoment. Shows what imagination will do. "

"But--but it's real!" cried Agatha. 

"Real enough, my lady, " said Jonah's voice. He seemed to be speakingfrom a great distance. "And I'll bet you never expected to see her againso soon, " he added, looking at me with a smile. 

"To tell you the truth, " said I, "we didn't. "

As in a dream I watched a dazed and stammering Agatha made welcome andset in a chair by my sister's side. Somebody--Jill, I fancy--led me tothe rug and persuaded me to sit down. Mechanically I started to fumblefor a cigarette. Then I heard Jonah talking, and I came to my senses. 

"We thought you'd be surprised, " he was saying, "but I didn't think it'dtake you like this. After all, there's nothing uncanny about it. "

"But I don't understand----"

"Listen. Will Noggin was sitting in the car when he heard a crash, andthere was a fellow lying in the middle of the road, about fifty yardsaway, with a push-bike beside him. Naturally Will jumped out and ran tohis help. The man seemed to be having a fit, and Will was just looseninghis collar, when he heard the engine start and saw the Rolls moving. Heleft the chap in the road and ran like mad, but he was too late. Nobodyever saw the fellow with the push-bike again. Of course he was one ofthe gang, and his fall was a put-up job to get Will out of the way. Pretty smart--what?

"Well, you hadn't been gone five minutes when Fitch arrived on hismotor-bike. He'd come to bring us a can of petrol, for after we'd lefthe remembered the tank was almost empty. 

"That gave me a bit of hope. If they stuck to the main road you werepretty well bound to catch them, for Fitch swore they'd never get fivemiles. But, of course, they might turn off. So I thought the rest of ushad better follow and search the by-roads for all we were worth. So Isat on Fitch's carrier with the can under one arm, and Daphnecommandeered the curate's push-bike and sent Berry after us. "

"Isn't he back yet?" said I, looking round. 

"Not yet, " said Jonah, with a grin. 

"And doesn't he know she's found?"

"That pleasure is still awaiting him. Well, Fitch was right. We left theBloodstock road for the second time at Dew Thicket, and at the foot ofthe hill there she was, dry as a bone, but as right as rain. "

"Abandoned?"

"Apparently. Any way, there was no one in sight. I sent Fitch after youand drove her home. Fitch had a burst directly he'd left me, and had towalk back to Bilberry. "

"Is that all?" said I. 

"Well, it's enough, isn't it?"

"Not nearly, " said I, rising to my feet. "Kindly accompany me to thestables. "

"What d'you mean, Boy?" cried Jill. 

"'Sh!" said I. "Come and see. "

In silence I led the way, Agatha treading solemnly by my side. As weturned under the archway that led to the stable-yard--

"You see, " I said carelessly, "we, too, have met with some success. "

The Rolls was standing where I had left her, waiting to be backed intothe garage. 

My sister gave a cry and caught at Jonah's arm. Jonah started violentlyand smothered an exclamation. Jill put one hand to her eyes, as if tobrush away a vision. 

There was a long silence. 

At length I turned to Jonah. 

"I fear that you were hasty, brother. A moment's reflection will showyou that you and Fitch have spoiled some poor car-owner's day. Let mesuggest that you return your ill-gotten gains to the foot of the hillbeyond Dew Thicket without delay. As a matter of fact, I know the policeare very concerned about this theft. It was the fourth in this districtthis morning. "

Fitch came forward, touching his hat. 

"It's a mistake anybody might make, sir. They're as like as two pins. "He pointed to the car. "She's the spit of ours, she is. "

"Don't be silly, " said I. "I admit they're exactly alike, but that'sours. "

Fitch shook his head. 

"Different chassis number, sir, to say nothing of the number-plates. "

I stared at him. Then--

"Nonsense, " I said sturdily. 

"It's a fact, sir. The one in the front's ours. I'm afraid you've stolesomebody else's car. "

 * * * * *

We had returned to the front of the house and were wondering what to do, when our attention was attracted by a sudden outburst of cries and thenoise of a car's tires tearing at the road. This lay but a hundred oddyards away on the farther side of the brown stream by which the lawn wasedged. For the length of a cricket pitch the hedgerow bounding thehighway was visible from where we stood, and as this was not more thanfour feet high, we were able to observe a scene which was clearly butthe prologue to a drama in which we were presently to appear. 

Under the explosive directions of a man in a grey hat, who was standingupright and holding on to the wind-screen, frantic efforts were beingmade to turn what seemed to be a small touring car. Even as we looked, asavage gesture in our direction suggested that our friend wasidentifying the Rolls by our side as stolen property for the benefit offour individuals who crouched timorously behind him. To my consternationI observed that these were no less than an inspector and threeconstables of the County Police. 

The next minute the car had been turned round and was being drivenrapidly back to our lodge-gates. 

"Leave them to me, " said Jonah quietly. "Go and sit down on the lawn, all of you. I'll fix them. "

 * * * * *

"That's the fellow, " said Grey Hat, in a shaking voice, "and that's hisaccomplice. " He pointed a fat hand at myself and Agatha in turn. 

"I beg your pardon, " said Jonah. Grey Hat turned and looked him up anddown. "Were you wanting anything? I mean, I live here. "

"I don't know who you are, " came the reply. "But that's my car, andthose are the people who stole it. "

"One thing at a time. My name's Mansel. "

"I'm the Chief Constable of the County. "

"Good. Now, about the car. I was under the impression that it was mine. "

"Don't try and bluff me, sir, " roared the other. "You know perfectlywell that that car was stolen from the outskirts of Bloodstock only afew hours ago. You're a receiver, sir, a common----" He checked himselfwith an effort. "Inspector!" The officer addressed came forward andsaluted. "Caution the three of them. "

"Hadn't you better identify your property first?" said Jonah. "I mean, Idon't want to interfere, but if it's a question of our arrest----"

The inspector hesitated, and the Chief Constable's face took on a darkershade of red. He was a coarse-looking man, generously designed andexpensively over-dressed. For a moment I thought he was going to strikeJonah. Then he caught a heavy underlip in his teeth, turned on his heel, and strode to the Rolls-Royce. 

He cast a proprietor's eye over her points. Then he stepped behind heras though to come to her other side. The next second he was back andshaking his fist in Jonah's face. 

"So you've had the infernal audacity to alter the number-plates, haveyou?" he yelled. "Thought to bluff me, I suppose. You impudent----"

"One moment, " said Jonah steadily. "Without looking at the dash, tell meyour chassis number. Your chauffeur should know it. "

"One double seven eight, " came parrot-wise from the lips of thegentleman referred to. 

"Thank you, " said Jonah. 

Grey Hat almost ran to the Rolls, tore open the bonnet, and stared atthe dash--stared.... 

We waited in a silence so charged with expectancy as to be almostunbearable. 

At last the Chief Constable straightened his back. His eyes were bulgingand his face redder than ever. Twice he essayed to speak withoutsuccess. Then--

"I said it was my car, " said Jonah placidly. 

For a moment Grey Hat stood glaring at him. Then, muttering somethingabout "a mistake, " he started to lurch towards the police car. As theofficers turned shamefacedly to follow their chief, Jonah's parade voicerang out. 

"Stop!" At the word of command, master and men alike stood still wherethey were. "My friends and I have been openly accused of felony andthreatened with arrest. "

The Chief Constable swallowed before replying. 

"I was mistaken, " he said thickly. "I--I apologize. "

"You mean to say you believed that to be your car?"

"I did. "

"Why?"

"It's exactly like it. "

"There must be some difference. "

"There's no difference at all. If mine were here, I'd defy you to tellthem apart. "

"Do you seriously suggest that I shouldn't know my own car?"

"I do. "

"And that such a mistake on my part would be excusable?"

"Certainly. "

"Thank you, " said Jonah. "That excusable mistake was made this morning. My car was stolen and sought for. Your car was found. If you willaccompany me to the stables, I shall be happy to restore it to you atonce. "

Grey Hat started forward, his face transfigured with excitement andrelief. 

"You mean to say----" he began. 

"Come, sir, " said Jonah icily. "I feel sure that the ladies will excuseyour withdrawal. "

 * * * * *

It was half an hour later, just when we were finishing tea, that a cryfrom Jill made us all turn to follow her gaze down the curling drive. 

Twenty paces away was Berry, plodding slowly in our direction, wheelinga tired-looking bicycle. His clothes were thick with dust, his collarwas like a piece of wet rag, and on his face there was a look of utterand profound resignation. 

As we started to our feet--

"Don't touch me, " he said. "I'm leading in the Marathon race. Theconditions are fearful. Competitors are required not only to walk, butat the same time to propel a bicycle, the hind tire of which must bedeflated. You're only allowed five falls, and I've used four of them. "With a final effort he reached the edge of the lawn and laid the bicyclegently on its side. "'How we brought the good news from Aix to Ghent, '"he continued. "Yes, I see the car, but I'm not interested. During thelast five hours my life has been so crowded with incident that there isno room for anything else. Isn't there a cycling club about here I canjoin? I've always fancied a grey sweater. "

"Did I hear you say that you had fallen, brother?" said I. 

"You did. Four times were these noble limbs prostrated in the dust. Thefirst time was when the handle-bars came off. Oh, it's a beautifulmachine. " Solemnly he waited for the laughter to subside. "But shedoesn't turn easily. If my blood counts, there are at least threecorners in the County that are for ever England. And now will somebodyfetch the Vicar? I shan't last long. And some drinks. " He stretchedhimself upon the grass. "Several drinks. All together in a largevessel. "

Jill fled, weak with laughter, to execute his commands. Berry proceededto remove his collar and tie. 

"I can't think, " he said suddenly, "why they call them safety bicycles. I suppose it's because they strike only on the box. " He turned toDaphne. "Since I left you this morning, woman, I have walked with Death. Oh, more than once. Of course I've walked without him, too. Miles andmiles. " He groaned. "I never knew there was so much road. "

"Didn't you do any riding?" said Jonah. "I know they're calledpush-bikes, but that's misleading. Lots of people ride them. That's whatthe saddle's for. "

"Foul drain, " said my brother-in-law, "your venomous bile pollutes thecrystal flood of my narration. Did I ride? That was the undoing of thesage. When he recovered consciousness for the second time, it was todiscover that the chain was missing and that the back tire was windless. In my endeavours to find the chain I lost myself. That reminds me. Imust put an advertisement in _The Times_ to the effect that any onereturning a bicycle-chain to White Ladies will be assaulted. I have nodesire to be reminded of to-day. If anybody had told me you could coverabout fifty miles of open road in England without meeting anything butroad-hogs, who not only failed to stop when I hailed them, but chokedand blinded me with their filthy dust, I should have prayed for hissoul. And not a pub open!"

He stopped to watch with a glistening eye the approach of Jill, bearinga tankard in one hand and a large jug of some beverage in the other. 

"What is it?" he said. 

"Shandy-gaff. "

"Heaven will reward you, darling, as I shan't. " He took a long draught. "And yet I don't know. I've got an old pair of riding-breeches I don'twant, if they're any use to you. "

There was a shriek from Agatha and Jill. 

"Is anybody going to church?" said Daphne, consulting her wrist-watch. 

Berry choked. 

Gravely, I regarded him. 

"Run along and change, " said I. "And you can return the curate hisbicycle at the same time. Besides, a walk'll do you good. "

"Don't tempt me, " he replied. "Two hours ago I registered a vow. I shalldrink no water till it is accomplished. "

"Let's hear it, " said I. 

"To offer no violence to a fool for six months, " said Berry, refillinghis tankard. "By the way, you'll have to be very careful when you takeoff my boots. They're very full of foot this evening. " He sank back andclosed his eyes. "You know I never look at the almanac, but before I wasup this morning I knew that this was a blue-letter day. "

"How?" said his wife. 

"I left a stud within the bath, and heard Jonah find it. " He spread outa dramatic arm. 

_"And he thereon did only sit, So blind he couldn't see, And then the fat-head yelled and swore, Not at himself, but me. "_

CHAPTER II

HOW DAPHNE WROTE FOR ASSISTANCE, AND MR. HOLLY WAS OUTBID. 

"Blow this out for me, Boy, there's a dear. "

The sun was streaming into the library, in a cage upon the broad hearththere was a blazing log fire, and the appointment of the breakfast-tablewas good to look upon. 

So also was Jill. 

Installed behind the cups and silver, my cousin made a sweet picture. Grave eyes set wide in a smiling face, a pile of golden hair crowningher pretty head, the slenderest throat, from which the collar of a greensilk coat fell gracefully on either side--so much a cunning paintermight have charmed faithfully on to canvas. But the little air ofimportance, of dignity fresh-gathered that sat so naively upon herbrow--this was a thing nor brush nor pencil could capture, but only aman's eye writing upon a grateful heart. 

It was but three days since Daphne had left White Ladies for London, andgrey-eyed Jill reigned in her stead. Berry had accompanied his wife, butJonah and I had stayed in the country with Jill, lest we should lose anote of that echo of summer which good St. Luke had this year piped solustily. 

But yesterday the strains had faltered and died. A sour east wind hadarisen, that set the trees shivering, and whipped the golden leaves fromtheir galleries, to send them scudding up the cold grey roads. Worsestill, by noon the sky was big with snow, so that before the post officewas closed, a telegram had fled to London warning my sister to expect usto arrive by car the following afternoon. 

Jill renewed her appeal. 

Above the little spirit lamp which she was holding hovered a tiny flame, seemingly so sensitive that a rough word would quench it for ever. WhenI had kissed my cousin, I blew steadily and fiercely from thesouth-west. Instantly a large tongue of fire flared half-way to whereJonah was eating his porridge and knitting his brows over _The Times_. 

Jill's hand began to shake. 

"You wicked child, " said I. "You knew----"

"Oh, Boy, but it's so silly. We had to leave it for you. Jonah nearlyburst himself just now, trying. "

"Thing's bewitched, " said Jonah calmly. "The more air you give it, thefiercer it burns. I'd sooner try to blow out a hurricane lamp. "

"Nonsense, " said I, taking a deep breath. 

At the end of the round--

"Yes, " said Jonah. "Do you mind blowing the other way next time? It'snot my face I'm worrying about, but this is the only copy of _The Times_in the house. "

Jill was helpless with laughter, so I took the lamp away from her andadvanced to the fireplace. 

"I'll fix the swine, " I said savagely. 

Two minutes later, with a blast that almost blew the lamp out of myhand, the flame was extinguished in a flurry that would have done creditto a whale. As I straightened my back--

"Well done, Boy, " said Jill. "There's a letter for you from Berry. Dosee what he says. Then I'll read you Daphne's. "

"Read hers first, " said I. "Strange as it may seem, I entered this roomto eat. "

"Right oh!" And in her fresh little voice my cousin began to read. 

_JILL DARLING, _

_The sooner you all come up the better. Everything's ready and Berry'smore than I can manage alone. His shoulder was aching last night, butwhen I wanted to rub him he said he was a kind of Aladdin's lamp, andwouldn't be responsible if I did. "Supposing a genie appeared and formedfours, or the slop-pail rotted aside, disclosing a flight of steps. "Result, to-day in Bond Street he turned suddenly to look at a passingcar, and had a seizure. He just gave a yell as if he'd been shot, andthen stood stock still with his head all on one side. Of course I washorrified, but he said he was quite all right, and explained that it wasmuscular rheumatism. I stopped a taxi and tried to make him get in, forpeople were beginning to look. Do you think he would? Not a bit of it. Stood there and said it was a judgment, and that he must stay where hewas till it had passed. "That may not be for years. They'll put railingsround me after a bit, and people will meet at me instead of the Tube. You will be responsible for my meals, some of which you will cook on thespot. I'll have a light lunch to-day about 1300 hours. " One or twopeople stopped, and I got into a taxi just as a man asked him if he wasill. "Brother, " said the fool, "my blood tests are more thansatisfactory. A malignant Fate, however----" When I asked him if he wascoming he told the man I was taunting him, so I just drove home. TheWilloughbys brought him back in their car quarter of an hour later. Madge said she'd never laughed so much in her life, but I can't bear italone. Mrs. Mason is at last reconciled to the idea of an electriccooker, and your new curtains look sweet. Come along. Love to you all. _

_DAPHNE. _

"Berry's version should be engaging, " said Jonah. "Slip along with thatporridge. "

"Don't hustle me. Gladstone used to masticate every mouthful he tookseven million times before swallowing. That's why he couldn't tell alie. Or am I thinking of Lincoln?"

The hostility with which my cousins received the historical allusion wasso marked that it seemed only prudent to open my brother-in-law's letterwithout further delay. 

I did so and read the contents aloud. 

_DEAR BROTHER, _

_Your constant derision of human suffering has satisfied me that thefacts I am about to relate will afford you the utmost gratification. Natheless I consider that for form's sake my wife's brother should knowthat I am in failing health. This morning, whilst faring forth, as is mywont (pronounced "wunt"), upon a mission of charity, I was seized withan agony in the neck and Old Bond Street just opposite thedrinking-fountain. Believing it to be appendicitis, I demanded achirurgeon, but nobody could spell the word. The slightest movement, however, spelt anguish without a mistake. My scruff was in the grip ofTorment. Observing that I was helpless, the woman, my wife, summoned ahackney carriage and drove off, taunting and jeering at her spouse. Bythis time my screams had attracted the attention of a few passers-by. Some stood apparently egg-bound, others hurried away, doubtless toprocure assistance. One fool asked me if I was ill. I told him that Ihad been dead for some days, and asked him if he knew of a good florist, as I wanted them to send no flowers. Had it not been for MadgeWilloughby, I should have been there now. _

_Organized bodies of navvies are slowly but surely ruining the streets. No efforts are made to stop them, and the police seem powerless tointerfere. _

_There is no room in London. I never remember when there was. But don'tyou come. The air is the purer for your absence, and your silk hats seemto fit me better than my own. My love for Jill is only exceeded by myhatred of you and my contempt for Jonah. I have much more to say, but Ihave, thank Heaven, something better to do than to communicate with adebauched connection, whose pleasure has ever been my pain, and fromwhom I have learned more vicious ways than I can remember. For I am bynature a little child. Just before and after rain you may still seetraces of the halo which I bought at Eastbourne in '94. My gorge isrising, so I must write no more. _

_BERRY. _

"What's muscular rheumatism?" said Jill, gurgling with laughter. 

"Your muscles get stiff, " said Jonah, "and you get stuck. Hurts likeanything. I've had it. "

"Now you know, " said I, selecting a sausage. "Will you be ready byhall-past eleven (winter time) or must we lunch here?"

"I'm ready now, " said Jill. "But you and Jonah said it was indecent tostart earlier. "

"So it is. We shall get to Pistol comfortably in an hour and a half, andif we start again at half-past two, we shall be in London for tea. "

Jonah rose and limped to the window. 

"I'll tell you one thing, " he said. "It's going to be a devilish coldrun. "

 * * * * *

Jonah was right. 

We sat all three upon the front seat, but even so we were hard put to itto keep warm. The prospect of a hot lunch at Pistol was pleasant indeed. Jonah was driving, and the Rolls slid through the country like a greatgrey bird, sailing and swooping and swerving so gracefully that it wasdifficult to believe the tale which the speedometer told. Yet this wastrue enough, for it was not a quarter to one when we swept round thelast corner and into the long straight reach of tarmac, at the top ofwhich lay the village we sought. 

Pistol is embedded in a high moor, snug and warm, for all its eminence. The moor itself is girt with waving woods that stretch and toss formiles, making a deep sloping sash of foliage which Autumn will dye withsuch grave glory that the late loss of Summer and her pretty ways seemseasier to bear. Orange and purple copper and gold, russet andcrimson--these in a hundred tones tremble and glow in one giant harmony, out of which, at the release of sun, come swelling chords so deep andrich and vivid that the sweet air is quick with stifled music and everypassing breeze charged to the full with silent melody. 

We had left this girdle of woodland behind us and were within half amile of the village, when some activity about the gates of a privatehouse attracted our attention. A little knot of men stood arguing in theroadway, three cars and an old fly were berthed close to the hedge, while a good-looking landau was waiting for a furniture van to emergefrom the drive. 

The next moment we were near enough to learn from a large poster that"the entire contents of Cranmer Place were to be sold by auction" thisday, "including a quantity of valuable antique furniture, " and with oneaccord Jill and I called upon Jonah to stop. 

"What for?" said the latter, as he brought the car to a standstill. "Don't say you want to go and watch the rector's wife bidding againsther conscience and the draper for a what-not. "

"Such, " said I, "is our intention. " I hoisted myself to my feet and, opening the door, descended stiffly into the road. As I helped Jill tofollow me, "You push on to Highlands, " I added, "and order the lunch. We'll only stay a minute or two. "

"And you never know, " said Jill, "we might see something priceless. "

Jonah shook his head. 

"Depend upon it, " he said, "the oleographs have gone to Christie's, sameas the fumed oak. Only the dud stuff's left. However, have it your ownway. " With a sigh, he let in the clutch. "If you're not there by aquarter past one, I shall begin. "

Jill slid an arm through mine, which she squeezed excitedly. 

"I'm sure we shall find something, Boy. I just feel it. It alwayshappens like this. You see, it isn't as if we were looking for a sale. We've just run right into one. And last night I dreamed aboutcretonnes. "

"That settles it, " said I, as the Rolls glided out of our way and westarted to cross the road. "All the same, Jonah's probably right. But Ilove a sale. I'm afraid it's curiosity more than anything. "

Catalogues were handed us at the front door, and we passed into a finesquare hall, where a dresser and a large gate-table, each conspicuouslylabelled, declared that the late occupant was a man of taste. 

"Two very fine pieces, sir, " said a voice. "Coming up this afternoon. " Iturned to see a short stout man in a 1907 bowler and two overcoats, which he wore open, regarding the furniture with an appraising look. With difficulty he extracted a card from an inside pocket. "If you'rethinkin' of buyin' anythin', Major, that's me card, an' I'll be very'appy to ac' for you. "

"Thanks, I don't think----"

"All right, Major, all right. Only if you should, I'm always about, " headded hastily, turning away in response to a cry which had arisen for"Mr. 'Olly. " "Comin', comin'!" he cried, making for what I took to bethe drawing room. 

I slipped his card into my pocket and we passed on. 

The tallboy chest was standing alone in its dignity at the top of thebroad staircase. 

The moment I saw it I knew it was good stuff. And Jill gave a little cryand began to chatter, till I laid my hand on her arm with a warningpressure. 

"Hush, " I said quickly, "don't give it away. Of course they all knowit's good, but we needn't seem over-anxious. Try and look as if youthought it might do for the harness-room if it was enamelled. "

"O-o-oh, Boy. "

Such chests may be handsome and--rarely--elegant, but this was dainty. Standing upon short cabriole legs, it was small, but of exquisiteproportions, and had been built, I judged, in the reign of Queen Anne. The walnut which had gone to its making was picked wood, and its drawerswere faced with oyster-shell and inlaid with box. Their handles wereperfect, and, indeed, the whole chest was untouched and without blemish, shining with that clean lustre which only wax and constant elbow-greasecan bring about. 

When I had examined the piece as carefully as I dared, I winked at Jilland descended into the hall. 

Mr. Holly was awaiting us. 

Casually I addressed him. 

"There's a tallboy at the top of the stairs, labelled 207. I'm not crazyabout it, but it's about the right size for a recess in my bedroom. Ifyou like to buy that for me on a five per cent. Basis----"

"Certainly, Major. " He wrote in a fat notebook. "Lot 207. An' ow' 'ighwill you go?"

I hesitated. 

"I'll go up to a hundred pounds. But the cheaper you get it, the betterfor you. Understand?"

"I'm there, Major. Will you be coming back?"

"No. But there's my card. You can telegraph to that address thisevening, and I'll send you a cheque. "

"Very good, sir. "

A minute later we were walking along the road towards Highlands and, while Jill was talking excitedly, I was considering my own recklessness. 

As we entered the grounds--

"Don't say anything about it, " I said. "Let it be a surprise. "

 * * * * *

The first person I saw, as I entered the lounge of that hotel, wasBerry. 

"Do you mind not asking me why I'm here?" he said languidly. "I've justfinished telling Jonah, and repetition always wearied me. "

"Your movements have never interested me, " said I. "All the same, Ithought you were in the grip of Torment. "

"I was and shall be. For the nonce----" He turned to a tall dark girlwho was leaning against the chimney-piece, watching us curiously. "Letme introduce my brother-in-law. Carefully kept from me before marriageand by me ever since. Both the ablative case, I believe, but what adifference? So rich is the English tongue. "

The girl threw back her head and laughed. I observed that she had niceteeth. 

"Name of Childe, " she said in a sweet voice. "After all, we can't expecthim to remember everything. Wasn't my brother in your regiment?"

"I knew I'd seen you somewhere, " said I. "The last time you were on atowel, leaning against a bottle of hairwash. That was in Flanders in1916. "

"That, " said Berry, "will do. Miss Childe and I came here to lunch, notto listen to maudlin memories of the Great War. Did I ever tell you thata Spaniard once compared me to that elusive bloom to be found only uponthe ungathered apricot?"

"How much did you lend him?" said I. 

"Perhaps he knew more about ferns, " said Miss Childe. 

"Blind from birth, I suppose, " said Jonah's voice. 

My brother-in-law rose to his feet and looked about him with theexpression of one who has detected an offensive odour. 

"He was a man of singular insight and fine feeling, " he said. "At thetime of his outburst I was giving evidence against him for cruelty to abullock. And now, for goodness' sake, somebody collect Jill and let'shave some lunch. "

 * * * * *

"As a matter of fact, " said Miss Childe, "I've come down to get somebutter and eggs. They're usually sent, but the housekeeper's ill, and, as I was going spare, father suggested I should run down and pick themup. "

Her voice sounded as if she was speaking from afar, and I knew that Imust call up all my reserves of willpower if I was to remain awake. 

"But Berry's with you, isn't he?"

"Yes. Your sister came to lunch yesterday and happened to mention thathe wanted to go to Pistol to-day, so I offered him a lift. He's muchnicer than any chauffeur. "

"But whatever did he want to come to Pistol for?"

"Ah. " From a great distance I watched Miss Childe's brown eyes take on alook of mischief that seemed at home in its bright setting. "He wouldn'ttell you and he didn't tell Captain Mansel the truth, so I shan't givehim away. " She looked at a tiny wrist-watch. "And now I must be going. We want to start back at half-past three, and I've twenty-five miles todo before then. "

"May I come with you?"

"Certainly. But----"

I stepped to where Jill was scribbling a note. 

"We needn't start before half-past three, " I said. "Will you wait forme?"

She nodded abstractedly. 

Jonah was dozing over a cigarette. Berry had disappeared. 

Three minutes later I was sitting in a comfortable coupé, which MissChilde was driving at an unlawful speed in the direction of Colt. 

"You drive a lot, don't you?" flashed my companion. 

"A good deal. "

"Then I expect you hate being driven by a stranger?"

"Not at all. Sometimes, of course----" I waited for us to emerge frombetween two motor-lorries and a traction-engine. As we were doing overforty-five, the pause was but momentary. "I mean----"

"That you're being frightened to death?"

"Not to death. I've still got some feeling in my right arm. " We droppeddown one of the steepest hills I have ever seen, with two bends in it, at an increased speed. "You keep your guardian angel pretty busy, don'tyou?"

A suspicion of a smile played for a second about my lady's lips. 

"The only thing I'm really frightened of is a hansom cab, " she affirmed. 

"Try and imagine that there are half a dozen round the next corner, willyou?"

The smile deepened. 

"Is your heart all right?" she demanded. 

"It was when we started. "

"But I know this road backwards. "

"You needn't tell me that, " said I. "We should have been killed long agoif you didn't. Seriously, I don't want to abuse your hospitality, butwe're going to have kidneys for breakfast to-morrow, and I should besorry to miss them. "

"Are you fond of kidneys?"

"Passionately. I used to go out and gather them as a child. In themorning and the meadows. Or were we talking of haddock?"

Miss Childe hesitated before replying. 

"I used to, too. But I was always afraid of their being toadstools. They're poisonous, aren't they?"

"Deadly. By the way, there are six hansoms full of toadstools at thecross-roads which I observe we are approaching. "

"I don't believe you. "

I was wrong. But there was a waggon full of logs and a limousine full ofchildren, which were rather worse. 

We proceeded amid faint cries of indignation. 

"What do you do, " said I, "when you come to a level-crossing with thegates shut? "

"I don't, " said Miss Childe. 

I was still working this out, when my companion slowed down and broughtthe car to a standstill in front of a high white gate bearing the legend"Private, " and keeping a thin brown road that ran for a little waybetween fair meadows before plunging into a swaying beechwood. 

"Anything the matter?" I asked. 

Miss Childe laid a hand on my arm. 

"Be an angel, " she said in a caressing voice. 

"Certainly, " said I. "With or without wings?"

"And open the gate, so that----"

"I know, " I cried, "I know. Don't tell me. 'So that the automobile maypass unobstructed between the gate-posts. ' Am I right?"

"How on earth did you know?"

"Instinct. " I open the door and stepped backwards into the road. "I'malways like this before eating kidneys, " I added. 

As I re-entered the car--

"Now we can let her out, " said Miss Childe contentedly. "It's such arelief to feel there's no speed limit, " she added, with a ravishingsmile. 

As soon as I could trust my voice--

"I shouldn't think your chauffeurs live very long, do they?"

"On the contrary, they grow old in our service. "

"I can believe you, " said I heartily. "I myself have aged considerablysince we left Highlands. "

By this time we had flung through and out of the beechwood, and the carwas storming past stretches of gleaming bracken, all red and gold andstuck with spreading oak trees that stood sometimes alone, sometimes ingroups of two or three together, and made you think of staring cattlestanding knee-deep in a golden flood. 

The car tore on. 

"We're coming to where I used to gather the mushrooms, " my companionannounced. 

"Barefoot?"

"Sometimes. "

"Because of the dew?"

She nodded. 

I sighed. Then--

"Up to now I've been feeling like a large brandy and a small soda, " Isaid. "Now I feel like a sonnet. What is your name, and who gave youthat name?"

"I'm sure that's not necessary. I've seen a sonnet 'To a lady upon herbirthday. '"

"As you please. Shall I post it to you or pin it to a tree in BatterseaPark?"

Miss Childe nodded her head in the direction in which we were going. 

"That, " she said, "is the house. "

At the end of a long avenue of elms I could see the bold flash ofwindows which the afternoon sun had set afire, and a moment later weswept by the front of an old red mansion and round into a paved courtthat lay on its farther side. 

Here was a door open, and in front of this my companion brought the carto a standstill. 

I handed her out. She rang the bell and entered. I followed her in. 

"Like to look round the house?" said Miss Childe. "We've given upshowing it since the Suffragettes, but if you could give me areference----"

"Messrs. Salmon and Gluckstein, " said I, "are my solicitors. "

My lady pointed to a door at the end of the flagged passage in which westood. 

"That'll take you into the hall, " she said. "I'll come and find you whenI've seen the servants. "

I saluted and broke away in the direction she had indicated. 

 * * * * *

There was a closet that opened out of the great gallery. No door hung inthe doorway and I could see china ranged orderly against the panellingof the walls. I descended its two stairs, expecting to find it devotedto china and nothing else. But I was wrong. Facing the window and thesunshine was a facsimile of the tallboy chest which I had coveted sofiercely two hours before. 

I gazed at it spell-bound. 

"It's very rude to stare, " said a voice. 

I turned to see Miss Childe framed in the doorway. 

Her gown was of apricot, with the bodice cut low and the skirt gatheredin loops to show her white silk petticoat, which swelled from under aflowered stomacher so monstrously, that the tiny blue-heeled slipperupon the second stair seemed smaller than ever. Deep frills of lace fellfrom her short sleeves and a little lace cap was set on her thick darkhair. 

I swallowed before replying. Then--

"It's a lovely chest, " I said lamely. 

"Picked wood, " said Miss Childe. "Flogged once a week for years, thattree was. "

"Flogged?"

"Certainly. "

Suddenly the air was full of music, and a jubilant chorus of voices wassinging lustily--

"_A woman, a spaniel, and a walnut-tree, The more you beat them, the better they be. _"

As the melody faded--

"I told you so, " said Miss Childe. "What about the butter and eggs? Willyou pay for them, or shall I have them sent?"

I handed her the largest one pound note I have ever seen. 

"Thanks, " she said shortly. "Change at Earl's Court. "

A peal of boy's laughter floated in at the open window. 

"Who's that?" said I. 

"Love, " said Miss Childe. "The locksmiths are here, and he's laughing atthem. I think it's rather unkind myself. Besides----"

A burst of machine-gun fire interrupted her. 

As the echoes died down--

"You smell of potpourri, " said I. 

"Probably. I made three bags full this morning. Bead bags. Do you mindputting some coal on the fire? If there aren't any tongs, use thetelephone. "

There was no fireplace and no coal-scuttle, so I took off my right bootand put it in the bottom drawer of the tallboy instead. 

"Number, please, " said Miss Childe, who had entered the closet and wasstanding a-tiptoe before a mirror to adjust a patch beneath her lefteye. 

"Lot 207, " said I. 

"Line's engaged, " said Miss Childe. "Didn't you see it in _The Times_?"

By way of answer, I threw a large plate at her. She seemed more pleasedthan otherwise with the attention, and began to pluck the delicateflowers with which it was painted and gather them into a nosegay. Insome dudgeon, I blew a small jug of great beauty on to a carvedprie-dieu, to which it adhered as though made of some slimy substance. 

"Cannon, " said my lady. "Shall I put you on?"

"I wish you would. It's rather important. "

"You're through. "

"Tallboy speaking, " said a faint voice. "Tallboy. Tallboy. "

"How d'ye do?" said I. 

"Ill, " said the voice, "so ill. All these years I've carried it, and noone knew----"

"Pardon me, " said I. "I only put it there five minutes ago. You see, thefire was almost out and----"

"Measurements tell, " said the voice. "But they never do that. Theypolish my panels and lay fair linen within me, and great folk have stoodabout me telling each other of my elegance, and once a baby childmirrored its little face in one of my sides. And all the timemeasurements tell. But they never do that. "

A sigh floated to my ears, a long, long sigh that rose into a wail ofthe wind, and a casement behind me blew to with a shaking clash. 

Somewhere a dog was howling. 

On a sudden I felt cold. The sunshine was gone, and the chamber hadbecome grey and dismal. Misery was in the air. 

A stifled exclamation made me look round. 

My lady had backed shrinking into a corner, one little hand pressed toher heart, and in her hunted eyes sat Fear dominant. The sweet face wasdrawn and colourless, and her breath came quickly, so that it wasgrievous to mark the flutter of her smooth white chest. 

Mechanically I turned to seek the cause of her terror. 

I saw a powerfully-built man standing square in the closet's doorway. His face was coarse and red and brutal, and his small black eyes glowedwith an ugly twinkle as he surveyed his quarry. Upon the thick lipsthere was a sinister smile, which broadened hideously as he glanced atthe nosegay held betwixt his finger and thumb--the little nosegay thatshe had gathered so lightly from the painted plate. A wide-skirted coatof red fell nearly to his knees and hid his breeches. His short blackperiwig was bobbed, and a black silk tie was knotted about his neck. Stockings were rolled above his knees, and a huge tongue thrust out fromeach of his buckled shoes. And in his left hand was a heavy riding-whipwhose handle was wrought about with gold. This he kept clapping againsthis leg with a smack and a ghastly relish that there was no mistaking. 

Again that phantom chorus rose up and rang in my ears--

"_A woman, a spaniel, and a walnut tree, The more you beat them, the better they be. _"

But the jubilant note was gone, and, though the tune was the same, thevoices were harsh, and there was a dreadful mockery of woe in the stavethat made me shudder. 

My lady heard it too. 

"No, no, Ralph. You do me wrong. I plucked them myself. Who is there nowto send me posies? And I am sick--you know it. The last time----" Thehurrying voice faltered and stumbled piteously over a sob. "The lasttime I was near spent, Ralph. So near. And now----You do not know yourstrength. Indeed----Oh, Ralph, Ralph, what have I done that you shoulduse me so?"

The bitter cry sank into a dull moan, and, setting a frail white armacross her eyes, she bowed her head upon it, as do weeping children, andfell to sobbing with that subdued despair that spells a broken spirit. 

My lord's withers were unwrung. 

For a moment he stood still, leering like some foul thing that feasts onAnguish. Then he let fall the nosegay and took the whip in his righthand.... 

And I stood there frozen and paralysed and dumb. 

Posing his victim with a horrible precision, the monster raised hiswhip, but it struck a pendant lantern, and with an oath he turned to thegallery, where he should find room and to spare for his brutality. Atthis delay my lady fell upon her knees, in a wild hope, I think, to turnher respite into a reprieve, but the beast cried out upon her, struckdown her outstretched hands, and, twisting his fingers in her soft darkhair, dragged her incontinently out of the closet. The little whimpershe gave was awful.... 

And I stood there paralysed. 

Five minutes, perhaps, had passed, slow-treading, pregnant minutes, whenmy lord reappeared. He stood for a moment listening at the top of thestairs, his chin on his shoulder. Then he stepped lightly down. His vileface was pale and his eyes shifted uneasily. The devil looked out ofthem yet, but Fright looked with him. Two paces brought the fellowbefore the tallboy. He put up his hands as if to pull open a drawer, when something about the whip he was holding caught his attention. For asecond he stared at it, muttering. Then, with a glance at the doorway, he thrust the thing beneath the skirt of his coat and wiped it as it hadbeen a rapier.... 

Again he made to open a drawer, but the spell under which I lay seemedto be lifted, and I shot out a hand and clapped him on the shoulder. 

For all the notice he took, I might not have been there. The moreincensed, I shook the man violently.... 

 * * * * *

"Repose, " said Jonah, "is one thing, gluttonish sloth another. And evenif you have once again overestimated the capacity of your stomach, whyadvertise your intemperance in a public place?" He lifted his hand frommy shoulder to look at his watch. "It's now ten minutes to three. Do youthink you can stagger, or must you be carried, to the car?"

I sat up and looked about me. Except for Jill, who was standing a-tiptoebefore a mirror, we were alone in the lounge. 

"I've been dreaming, " said I. "About--about----"

"That's all right, old chap. Tell Nanny all about it to-night, afteryou've had your bath. That's one of the things she's paid for. "

"Don't be a fool, " said I, putting a hand to my head. "It's important, Itell you. For Heaven's sake let me think. Oh, what was it?" My cousinsstared at me. "I'm not rotting. It was real--something that mattered. "

"'Orse race?" said Jonah eagerly. "Green hoops leading by twelve lengthsor something?"

I waved him away. 

"No, no, no. Let me think. Let me think. "

I buried my face in my hands and thought and thought.... But to nopurpose. The vision was gone. 

 * * * * *

Hastily I made ready for our journey to Town, all the time racking mybrain feverishly for some odd atom of incident that should remember mydream. 

It was not until I was actually seated in the Rolls, with my foot uponthe self-starter, that I thought about Berry. 

Casually I asked what had become of him. 

"That's what we want to know, " said Jill. "He motored down here withMiss Childe, and now they've pushed off somewhere, but they wouldn'tsay----"

"Childe!" I shouted. "Miss Childe! I've got it!"

"What on earth's the matter?" said Jonah, as I started the car. 

"My dream, " I cried. "I remember it all. It was about that tallboy. "

"What--the one we saw?" cried Jill. 

I nodded. 

"I'm going to double my bid, " I said. "We simply must have it, whateverthe price. "

Disregarding Jonah's protests that we were going the wrong way, I swungthe car in the direction from which we had come, and streaked down theroad to Cranmer Place. 

A minute later I dashed into the hall, with Jill at my heels. 

The first person I saw was Mr. Holly. 

"Has it come up yet?"

I flung the words at him, casting strategy to the winds. 

"It 'as, Major, an' I'm sorry to say we've lorst it. I never see such athing. There was a gent there as meant to 'ave it. 'Cept for 'im, therewasn't a bid after twenty-five pounds. I never thort we'd 'ave to goover fifty, neither. Might 'a bin the owner 'isself, the way 'e wasrunnin' us up. An' when we was in the eighties, I sez to meself, I sez, 'The one as calls a nundred first 'as it. So 'ere goes. ' 'Eighty-nine, 'sez'e. 'A nundred pound, ' sez I, bold-like. 'Make it guineas, ' sez he, as cool as if 'e was buyin' a naporth o' figs. I tell you. Major, itfair knocked me, it did. I come all of a tremble, an' me knees----"

"Where's the fellow who bought it?" said I. 

"I'm afraid it's no good, Major. I tell you 'e meant to 'ave themdrawers. "

With an effort I mastered my impatience. 

"Will you tell me where he is? Or, if he's gone, find out----"

"I don't think 'e's gorn, " said Mr. Holly, looking round. "I 'alfthink----There 'e is, " he cried, suddenly, nodding over my shoulder. "That's 'im on the stairs, with the lady in blue. "

Excitedly I swung round, to see my brother-in-law languidly descendingthe staircase, with Miss Childe by his side. 

"Hullo, " he said. "Do you mind not asking me why I'm here?"

"It's not my practice, " said I, "to ask a question, the answer to whichI already know. " I turned to Mr. Holly and took out a one pound note. "I'm much obliged for your trouble. 'Not a bid after twenty-fivepounds, ' I think you said. " I handed him the note, which he acceptedwith protests of gratitude. "You did better than you know, " I added. 

"May I ask, " said Berry unsteadily, "if this gentleman and you are incollusion?"

"We were, " said I. "At least, I instructed him to purchase somefurniture for me. Unfortunately we were outbid. But it's of noconsequence. "

Berry raised his eyes to heaven and groaned/

"Subtraction, " he said, "is not my strongest point, but I make it eightypounds. Is that right?"

I nodded, and he turned to Miss Childe. 

"That viper, " he said, "has stung the fool who feeds him to the tune ofeighty pounds. Shall I faint here or by the hat-stand? Let's be clearabout it. The moment I enter the swoon----"

"Still, as long as it's in the family----" began Jill. 

"Exactly, " said I. "The main thing is, we've got it. And when you'veheard my tale----"

"Eighty paper pounds, " said Berry. "Can you beat it?"

"That'd only be about thirty-five before the War, " said Miss Childe in ashaking voice. 

"Yes, " said I. "Look at it that way. And what's thirty-five? Abagatelle, brother, a bagatelle. Now, if we were in Russia----"

"Yes, " said Berry grimly, "and if we were in Patagonia, I suppose Ishould be up on the deal. You can cut that bit. "

Miss Childe and Jill dissolved into peals of merriment. 

"That's right, " said Berry. "Deride the destitute. Mock at bereavement. As for you, " he added, turning to Jill, "your visit to the Zoo isindefinitely postponed. Other children shall feel sick in themonkey-house and be taken to smell the bears. But you, never. " He turnedto Miss Childe and laid a hand on her arm. "Shut your eyes, my dear, andrepeat one of Alfred Austin's odes. This place is full of the ungodly. "

 * * * * *

My determination to carry the tallboy chest to London in the Rolls metwith stern opposition, but in the end I prevailed, and at six o'clockthat evening it was safely housed in Mayfair. 

To do him justice, Berry's annoyance was considerably tempered by thestrange story which I unfolded during a belated tea. 

The house and park which I had seen we were unable to identify, and thePost Office Guide was silent as to the whereabouts of Colt. But theexcitement which Daphne's production of a tape-measure aroused was onlyexceeded by the depression which was created by our failure to discoveranything unusual about the chest. 

We measured the cornice and we measured the plinth. We measured theframe and we measured the drawers. But if the linear measurementsafforded us little satisfaction, the square measurements revealedconsiderably less, while, since no one of us was a mathematician, thecalculation of the cubic capacity proved, not only unprofitable, butprovocative of such bitter arguments and insulting remarks that Daphnedemanded that we should desist. 

"All right, " said Berry, "if you don't believe me, call in a consultingengineer. I've worked the blinking thing out three times. I admit theanswers were entirely different, but that's not my fault. I never didlike astrology. I tell you the beastly chest holds twenty-seven thousandpoint nine double eight recurring cubic inches of air. Some other foolcan reduce that to rods, and there you are. I'm fed up with it. Thanksto the machinations of that congenital idiot with the imitationmustachios, I've paid more than four times its value, and I'm not goingto burst my brains trying to work out which drawer would have had afalse bottom if it had been built by a dipsomaniac who kept fowls. Andthat's that. "

Tearfully Miss Childe announced that it was time for her to be going, and I elected to escort her as far as the garage. As we stepped on tothe pavement--

"I know a lot more about you than you think, " said I. "I never told youhalf what I dreamed. "

"What do you know?"

"Oh, nothing momentous. Just the more intimate details of your everydaylife. Your partiality to mushrooms, your recognition of Love, yourrecklessness, pretty peculiarities of your toilet----"

"Good Heavens!" cried Miss Childe. 

"But you wouldn't tell me your name. "

"False modesty. Seriously you don't mean to say----"

"But I do. Nothing was hid from me. Your little bare feet----"

A stifled scream interrupted me. 

"This, " said Miss Childe, "is awful. " We turned into the mews. "What areyou doing to-morrow?"

"Dictating. You see, there's a dream I want recorded. "

"I shall expect you at half-past one. We can start after lunch. I've abeautiful hand. "

"I know you have. Two of them. They were bare, too, " I addedreflectively. 

With a choking sound, Miss Childe got into the car. 

"Half-past one, " she said, as she slid into the driver's seat. 

"Without fail. " I raised my hat. "By the way, who shall I ask for?"

Miss Childe flung me a dazzling smile. 

"I've no sisters, " she said. 

Moodily I returned to the house. 

I entered the library to find that the others had retired, presumably todress for dinner. Mechanically I crossed to the tallboy, which we had sofruitlessly surveyed, and began to finger it idly, wondering all thetime whether my dream was wanton, or whether there was indeed somesecret which we might discover. It did not seem possible, and yet.... That distant voice rang in my ears. "Measurements tell, measurementstell. But they never do that. " _What?_

A sudden idea came to me, and I drew out the second long drawer. Then insome excitement I withdrew the first, and placed it exactly upon the topof the second, so that I might see if they were of the same size. _Thesecond was the deeper by an inch and a half. _

I thrust my arms into the empty frame, feeling feverishly for a bolt orcatch, which should be holding a panel in place at the back of where thefirst drawer had lain. At first I could find nothing, then my right handencountered a round hole in the wood, just large enough to admit a man'sfinger. Almost immediately I came upon a similar hole on the left-handside. Their office was plain.... 

A moment later, and I had drawn the panel out of its standing and clearof the chest. 

My hands were trembling as I thrust them into the dusty hiding-place. 

 * * * * *

"Hullo! Aren't you going to dress?" said Jonah some two minutes later. 

But I was still staring at a heavy riding-whip whose handle was wroughtabout with gold. 

CHAPTER III

HOW A MAN MAY FOLLOW HIS OWN HAT, AND BERRY TOOK A LAMP IN HIS HAND. 

"What are you doing this morning?" said Daphne. 

Berry turned to the mantelpiece and selected a pipe before replying. 

"I have, " he said, "several duties to discharge. All, curiously enough, to myself. First, if not foremost, I must hire some sock-suspenders. Secondly, I must select some socks for the sock-suspenders to suspend. Is that clear? Neither last nor least----"

"As a matter of fact, " said his wife, "you're going to help me choose apresent for Maisie Dukedom. Besides, I've got to go to Fortnum andMason's, and I want you----"

"To carry the string-bag. I know. And we can get the chops at the sametime. We'd better take some newspaper with us. And a perambulator. "

"Tell you what, " said Jonah, "let's all join together and give her aPersian rug. "

"That's rather an idea, " said my sister. "And they wear for ever. "

"You're sure of that, aren't you?" said Berry. "I mean, I shouldn't likeher to have to get a new one in about six hundred years. I like apresent to last. "

Before Daphne could reply--

"How d'you spell 'business'?" said Jill, looking up from a letter. 

"Personally, " said I, "I don't. It's one of the words I avoid. If youmust, I should write it down both ways and see what it looks like. "

The telephone bell began to ring. 

"Wrong number, for a fiver, " said Jonah. "They always do it about thistime. "

Berry crossed the room and picked up the receiver. We listenedexpectantly. 

"Have I got a taxi! My dear fellow, I've got a whole school of them. Would you like a Renault or a baby grand? What? Oh, I'm afraid Icouldn't send it at once. You see, I've only got one boy, and he'shaving his hair cut. I can post it to you, and I should think you'll getit to-morrow morning. No, I'm not mad. No, I'm not the cab-rank, either. Well, you should have asked me. Never mind. Let's talk of somethingelse. I wonder if you're interested in rock-worms.... I beg yourpardon.... " Gravely he restored the receiver to its perch. "Notinterested, " he added for our information. "He didn't actually say so, but from the directions he gave concerning them--happily, I may say, quite impracticable----"

"Talking of telephoning, " said Jonah uncertainly, "don't forget we'vegot to ring up and say whether we want those tickets. "

"So we have, " said my sister. "Wednesday week, isn't it? Let's see. " Shefell to examining a tiny engagement-book, murmuring to herself as shedeciphered or interpreted the entries. 

I continued to survey the street. 

It was a dark morning in December, and we were all In the library, wherethere was a good fire, warming ourselves preparatory to venturing abroadand facing the north-east wind which was making London so unpleasant. 

The tickets to which Jonah referred would make us free of the AlbertHall for a ball which promised to surpass all its predecessors insplendour and discomfort. No one was to be admitted who was not clad incloth either of gold or silver, and, while there were to be no intervalsbetween the dances, a great deal of the accommodation usually reservedfor such revellers as desired rest or refreshment was being convertedinto seats to be sold to any who cared to witness a pageant of unwontedbrilliancy. The fact that no one of us had attended a function of thissort for more than five years, and the excellence of the cause on behalfof which it was being promoted, were responsible for our inclination totake the tickets, for, with the exception of Jill, we were not eager tosubscribe to an entertainment which it was not at all certain we shouldenjoy. 

At length--

"I suppose we'd better take the tickets, " I said reflectively. "If wedon't want to go, we needn't use them. "

"Oh, we must use them, " said Daphne; "and we've got nothing on onWednesday, as far as I can see. "

Berry cleared his throat. 

"It is patent, " he said, "that my personal convenience is of noconsideration. But let that pass. I have no objection to setting, as itwere, the seal of success upon the ball in question, provided that mycostume buttons in front, and has not less than two pockets which are atonce accessible and of a reasonable capacity. I dare say they weren'tfashionable in the fourteenth century. No doubt our forefathers thoughtit a scream to keep their handkerchiefs in their boots or the seat oftheir trousers. But I'm funny like that. Last time I had to give thefellow in the cloak-room half a crown every time I wanted to blow mynose. "

"You four go, " said Jonah. "I always feel such a fool in fancy dress. "

"If you feel anything like the fool you look, " said Berry, "I'm sorryfor you. "

Jonah lowered _The Sportsman_ and surveyed the speaker. 

"What you want, " he said, "is a little honest toil. I should take upscavenging, or sewerage. Something that appeals to you. "

"I agree" said Daphne. "But you can't start this morning, because you'reconing with Jill and me to choose the rug. " She turned to me. "Boy dear, ring up and take those tickets, will you?"

I nodded. 

The spirit of reckless generosity which is so prominent a characteristicof "Exchange" was very noticeable this morning. The number I asked for, which was faithfully repeated by the operator, was Mayfair 976. I wasconnected successively to Hammersmith 24, Museum 113, and Mayfair 5800. After a decent interval I began again. 

"Kennington Road Police Station, " said a voice. 

"Kennington or Kennington Road?" said I. 

"Kennington Road. There ain't no Kennington. "

"Ain't--I mean, aren't there? I always thought.... Never mind. How arethe police?"

"I say this is Kennington Road Police Station, " replied the voice withsome heat. 

"I know you did. I heard you. Just now. If you remember, I asked you ifit was Kennington or Kennington Road, and you said----"

"'Oo _are_ you?"

To avoid any unpleasantness I replaced my receiver. 

Two minutes later, after an agreeable conversation with "Supervisor, " Iarranged to purchase five tickets for the Gold and Silver Ball. 

 * * * * *

"This, " said the salesman, spreading a rug upon the top of afast-growing pile, "is a Shiraz. "

"I suppose, " said Berry, "you haven't got a Badgerabahd?"

"I never came across one, sir. "

"They are rare, " was the airy reply. "The best ones used to be made inGermany and sent to Egypt. By the tune the camels had finished withthem, they'd fetch anything from a millionaire to a foxhound. "

This was too much for Jill's gravity, and it was only with an effortthat Daphne controlled her voice. 

"I think that's very nice, " she said shakily. "Don't you?" she added, turning to me. 

"Beautiful piece of work, " I agreed. "Some of it appears to have beendone after dinner, but otherwise.... "

"The pattern is invariably a little irregular, sir. "

"Yes, " said Berry. "That's what makes them so valuable. Their lives arereflected in their rugs. Every mat is a human document. " With theferrule of his umbrella he indicated a soft blue line that was strayingcasually from the course which its fellows had taken. "That, forinstance, is where Ethel the Unready demanded a latchkey at the matureage of sixty-two. And here we see Uncle Sennacherib fined two measuresof oil for being speechless before mid-day. I don't think we'd bettergive her this one, " he added. "She-bat the Satyr seems to have got goingabout the middle, and from what I remember----"

"Haven't you got to go and get some socks?" said Daphne desperately. 

"I have. Will you meet me for lunch, or shall I meet you? I believe theydo you very well at the Zoo. "

The salesman retired precipitately into an office, and my sisterbesought me tearfully to take her husband away. 

"I might have known, " she said in a choking voice. "I was a fool tobring him. "

"Let's play at bears, " said her husband. "It's a priceless game. Everyone gets under a different rug and growls. "

Resignedly Daphne retired to the sofa. Jill sank down upon the pile ofrugs and shook silently. Observing that we were unattended, anothersalesman was hurrying in our direction. Before he could launch theinevitable question--

"I want a dog licence and some magic lanterns, " said Berry. "You know. The ones that get all hot and smell. "

There was a shriek of laughter from Jill, and the unfortunate assistantlooked round wildly, as if for support. 

Clearly something had to be done. 

I stepped forward and slid my arm through that of the delinquent. 

"Enough, " said I. "Come and devil the hosier. If you're not quick allthe socks will be gone. "

My brother-in-law eyed me suspiciously. 

"And leave my baggage?" he demanded, pointing to Daphne. "Never. This isa ruse. Where is the manager of the emporium? I dreamed about him lastnight. He had brown boots on. "

I consulted my watch before replying. 

"By the time we get to the Club, Martinis will be in season. "

"Do you mean that?" said Berry. 

"I do. "

"And a small but pungent cigar?"

I nodded. 

He turned to the bewildered salesman. 

"Please attend to these ladies. They want to choose an expensive-lookingrug. Preferably a Shiraz. No doubt they will be safe in your hands. Goodmorning. "

On the way out he stopped at a counter and purchased one of theprettiest bead bags I have ever seen. He ordered it to be sent toDaphne. 

 * * * * *

The omnibus was sailing down Oxford Street at a good round pace, but itwas the sudden draught from a side street that twitched my hat from myhead. I turned to see the former describe a somewhat elegant curve andmake a beautiful landing upon the canopy of a large limousine which wasstanding by the kerb some seventy yards away. By the time I hadalighted, that distance was substantially increased. In some dudgeon Iproceeded to walk, with such remnants of dignity as I could collect andretain, in tie direction of my lost property. Wisdom suggested that Ishould run; but I felt that the spectacle of a young man, hatless butotherwise decently dressed and adequately protected from the severity ofthe weather, needed but the suggestion of impatience to make it whollyridiculous. My vanity was rightly served. I was still about thirty pacesfrom my objective, when the limousine drew out from the pavement andinto the stream of traffic which was hurrying east. 

As my lips framed a particularly unpleasant expletive a bell rangsharply, and I turned to see a taxi, which had that moment beendismissed. 

"Oxford Circus, " I cried, flinging open the door. 

A moment later we were near enough for me to indicate the largelimousine and to instruct my driver to follow her. 

As we swept into Regent's Park, I began to wonder whether I should nothave been wiser to drive to Bond Street and buy a new hat. By the timewe had been twice round the Ring I had no longer any doubt on thispoint; but my blood was up, and I was determined to run my quarry toearth, even if it involved a journey to Hither Green. 

More than once we were almost out-distanced, three times we were caughtin a block of traffic, so that my taxi's bonnet was nosing thelimousine's tank. Once I got out, but, as I stepped into the road, thewaiting stream was released, and the car slid away and round the hull ofa 'bus from under my very hand. My escape from a disfiguring deathbeneath the wheels of a lorry was so narrow that I refrained from asecond attempt to curtail my pursuit, and resigned myself to playing awaiting game. 

When we emerged from the Park, my spirits rose and I fell to studyingwhat I could see of the lines of the limousine, and to speculatingwhether I was being led to Claridge's or the Ritz. I had just pronouncedIn favour of the latter, when there fell upon my ears the long regularspasm of ringing which is a fire-engine's peremptory demand for instantway. Mechanically the order was everywhere obeyed. The street was nonetoo wide, and a second and louder burst of resonance declared that thefire-engine was hard upon our heels. 

The twenty yards separating us from the limousine were my undoing. Witha helpless glance at me over his shoulder, my driver pulled in to thekerb, and we had the felicity of watching the great blue car turn down aconvenient side street and flash out of sight. 

The engine swept by at a high smooth speed, the traffic emerged from itsstate of suspended animation, and in some annoyance I put my head out ofthe window and directed my driver to drive to Bond Street. 

I had chosen a new hat and was on the point of leaving the shop, when achauffeur entered with a soft grey hat in his hand. The hat resembledthe one I had Lost, and for a moment I hesitated. Then it occurred to methat there were many such hats in London, and I passed on and out of thedoor. Of course it was only a coincidence. Still.... 

Opposite me, drawn up by the kerb, was the large blue limousine. 

The next moment I was back in the shop. 

"I rather think that's my hat, " I said. 

The chauffeur looked round. 

"Is it, sir? 'Er ladyship see it on top o' the canopy Just as I put 'erdown at the Berkeley. 'Wilkins, ' she says, 'there's a 'at on the car. ''A 'at, me lady?' says I. 'A 'at, ' says she. 'Fetch it down. ' I fetchesit down and shows it 'er. 'An' a nice noo 'at, too, ' she says, 'wot musthave blowed orf of a gent's 'ead, an' 'e on top of a 'bus, as like asnot. ' Then she looks inside and see the initials and the name o' theshop. 'Take it back where it come from, ' she says. 'They'll know oose itis. ' 'Very good, me lady, ' said I, an' come straight down, sir. "

I took off the hat I was wearing and bade him read the initials whichhad just been placed there. He did so reluctantly. Then--

"Very glad to 'ave found you so quick, sir. Shall I tell them to send italong? You won't want to carry it. "

"I'll see to that, " said I, taking it out of his hand. "Why didn't itblow off your canopy?"

"The spare cover was 'oldin' it, sir. Must 'ave shifted on to the brimas soon as it come there. I don't know 'ow long----"

"Best part of an hour, " I said shortly, giving him a two-shilling piece. "Good day, and thanks very much. "

He touched his cap and withdrew. 

A wrestle with mental arithmetic showed me that the draught which I hadencountered nearly an hour before had cost me exactly one and a halfguineas. 

Ordinarily I should have dismissed the matter from my mind, but for somereason I had no sooner let the chauffeur go than I was tormented by apersistent curiosity regarding the identity of his considerate mistress. If I had not promised to rejoin Berry for lunch--a meal for which I wasalready half an hour late--I should have gone to the Berkeley andscrutinized the guests. The reflection that such a proceeding must onlyhave been unprofitable consoled me not at all, so contrary a maid isSpeculation. For the next two hours Vexation rode me on the curb. Iquarrelled with Berry, I was annoyed with myself, and when thehall-porter at the Club casually observed that there was "a nasty wind, "I agreed with such hearty and unexpected bitterness that he startedviolently and dropped the pile of letters which he was searching on mybehalf. 

A visit to Lincoln's Inn Fields, however, with regard to an estate ofwhich I was a trustee, followed by a sharp walk in the Park, did much toreduce the ridiculous fever of which my folly lay sick, and I returnedhome in a frame of mind almost as comfortable as that in which I had setout. 

It was half-past four, but no one of the others was in, so I ordered teato be brought to the library, and settled down to the composition of aletter to _The Observer_. 

I was in the act of recasting my second sentence, when the light wentout. 

By the glow of the fire I made my way to the door A glance showed methat the hall and the staircase were In darkness. It was evident that afuse had come to a violent end. 

I closed the door and returned to my seat. Then I reached for thetelephone and put the receiver to my ear. 

"What an extraordinary thing!" said a voice. "And you've no idea whoseit was?"

"Not the slightest, " came the reply. There was a musical note in thegirlish tone that would have attracted any one. "There it was, on thetop of the car, when we got to the Berkeley. It wasn't such a bad hat, either. "

"Excuse me, " said I. "It was a jolly good hat. "

A long tense silence followed my interruption. At length--

"I say, are you there, Dot?"

"Yes, " came the reply in an excited whisper. "Who was that speaking?"

"I've not the faintest idea, " rejoined the first voice I had heard. "Somebody must have got on to our line. I expect----"

A familiar explosion severed the sentence with the clean efficiency ofthe guillotine. 

"Isn't that sickening?" said I. "Now we shall never know what her theorywas. "

"It's all your fault, whoever you are. If you hadn't butted in----"

"I don't know what you mean, " I retorted. "I was ushered into yourpresence, so to speak, by _la force majeure_. French. Very difficult. "

"Well, when you heard us talking, you ought to have got off the line. "

"I should have, if you hadn't started disparaging my headgear. I repeat, it was a hat of unusual elegance. It had a personality of its own. "

"But it wasn't your hat we were discussing. "

I sighed. 

"All right, " I said wearily. "It wasn't. Have it your own way. Someother fool followed a silver-grey Homburg twice round the Park thismorning. Some other fool----"

A little gasp interrupted me. 

"But how did you know my number?"

"I didn't. I don't. I never could have been about to should. Negativesall the way. It's just chance, my dear. Chance with a Capital J--I meanC. D'you mind if I smoke?"

Her reply was preceded by a refreshing gurgle. 

"Not at all, " said my lady. "D'you mean to say you chased us all thatway?"

"Further. And if it hadn't been for that fire-engine----"

"I remember. Wilkins turned down a side-street. "

"Exactly. "

"What a shame. Well, if you go to your hatter's you'll get it again. "

"Your ingenuity is only equalled by your consideration. Isn't thatneatly put? You see, I'm writing a letter to _The Observer_, and, when Iget going, I can just say things like that one after another. "

"How wonderful. But I'm afraid I'm interrupting you, and I shouldn'tlike to deprive Humanity----"

"Your name, " said I, "is Dot. But I shall call you Mockery. And ifyou're half as sweet as you sound----"

"Good-bye. "

I protested earnestly. 

"Please don't say that. We've only just met. Besides ... Why was ClaphamCommon?"

"Clapham what?"

"No, Common. Why was Clapham Common?"

"Well, why was it?"

"I can't think, my dear. I thought you might know. It's worried me foryears. "

There was a choking sound, which suggested indignation struggling withlaughter. Then--

"I've a good mind to ring off right away, " said Dot in a shaking voice. 

"That would be cruel. Think of the dance you led me this morning. More. Think of the dances you're going to give me on Wednesday week. "

"Oh, you're going, are you?"

"If you are. "

"What as?" she demanded. 

"A billiard-marker in the time of Henry the Fourth. And you?"

"I can't rise to that. I'm going as myself in a silver frock. "

"Could anything be sweeter? A little silver Dot. I shall cancel thebody-snatcher--I mean billiard-marker--and go as Carry One. Then we candance together all the evening. By the way, in case I don't hear yourvoice, how shall I know you?"

"A dot, " said my lady, "is that which hath position, but no magnitude. "

"Possibly, " said I. "It hath also a dear voice, which, though it beproduced indefinitely, will never tire. All the same, in view of thecapacity of the Albert Hall, you've not given me much to go on. "

"As a matter of fact, each of us is going as a parallel line. And that'swhy I can tell you that I like the sound of you, and--oh, well, enoughsaid. "

"Thank you, Dot. And why parallel lines?"

"They never meet. So long. "

There was a faint chunk. 

My lady had rung off. 

Heavily I hung up my receiver. 

When the others came in, I was still sitting in the dark at the table, thinking.... 

 * * * * *

The bitter wind reigned over London for seven long days, metinguntempered chastisement to its reluctant subjects, and dying unwept andgasping on a Monday night. Tuesday was fair, still by comparison andindeed. The sun shone and the sky was blue, and the smoke rose straightout of its chimneys with never the breath of a breeze to bend it, oreven to set its columns swaying over the high roofs. There was a greatcalm. But, with it all, the weather was terribly cold. 

That rare beauty which Dusk may bring to the Metropolis was that eveningvouchsafed. Streets that were mean put off their squalor, ways that werehandsome became superb. Grime went unnoticed, ugliness fell away. Allthings crude or staring became indistinct, veiled with a web of thatsoft quality which only Atmosphere can spin and, having spun, hang aboutbuildings of a windless eve. 

As Night drew on, Magic came stealing down the blurred highways. Lampsbecame lanterns, shedding a muffled light, deepening and charging withmystery the darkness beyond. Old friends grew unfamiliar. Where they hadstood, fantastic shapes loomed out of the mist and topless towers roseup spectral to baffle memory. Perspective fled, shadow and stuff wereone, and, save where the radiance of the shops in some proudthoroughfare made gaudy noon of evening, the streets of Town werechanged to echoing halls and long, dim, rambling galleries, hung allwith twinkling lights that stabbed the gloom but deep enough to showtheir presence, as do the stars. 

So, slowly and with a dazzling smile, London put on her cloak ofdarkness. By eight o'clock you could not see two paces ahead. 

On Wednesday morning the fog was denser than it had been the nightbefore. There was no sign of its abatement, not a puff of wind elbowedits way through the yellow drift, and the cold was intense. The prospectof leaving a comfortable home at nine in the evening to undertake ajourney of some two miles, clad in habiliments which, while highlyornamental, were about as protective from cold as a grape-skin rug, wasanything but alluring. 

For reasons of my own, however, I was determined to get to the Ball. Mysister, whom nothing daunted, and Jill, who was wild with excitement, and had promised readily to reserve more dances than could possibly berendered, were equally firm. Jonah thought it a fool's game, and said asmuch. Berry was of the same opinion, but expressed it less bluntly, andmuch more offensively. After a long tirade--

"All right, " he concluded. "You go. It's Lombard Street to a chinaorange you'll never get there, and, if you do, you'll never get back. None of the band'll turn up, and if you find twenty other fools in thebuilding to exchange colds with, you'll be lucky. To leave your home ona night like this is fairly clamouring for the special brand of troublethey keep for paralytic idiots. I've known you all too long to expectsagacity, but the instinct of self-preservation characterizes even thelower animals. What swine, for instance, would leave its cosy sty----"

"How dare you?" said Daphne. "Besides, you can't say 'its. ' Swine'splural. "

"My reference was to the fever-swine, " was the cold reply. "A singularspecies. Comparable only with the deep-sea dip-sheep. "

"I think you're very unkind, " said Jill, pouting. "Boy can walk in frontwith a lamp, and Jonah can walk behind with a lamp----"

"And I can walk on both sides, I suppose, with a brazier in either hand. Oh, this is too easy. "

"We can but try, " said I. 

"You can but close your ugly head, " said Berry. "If you want to walkabout London half the night, looking like a demobilised pantaloon, pushoff and do it. But don't try and rope in innocent parties. "

To this insult I made an appropriate reply, and the argument waxed. Atlength----

"There's no reason, " said Jonah, "why we shouldn't go on like this forever. If we had any sense, we should send for Fitch and desire hisopinion. It's rather more valuable than any one of ours, and, after all, he's more or less interested. And you can trust him. "

Now, Fitch was our chauffeur. 

Amid a chorus of approval, I went to the telephone to speak to thegarage. 

I was still waiting to be connected, when--

"Is that the Club?" said a voice. 

"No, " said I. "Nothing like it. "

"Well, there's a bag of mine in the hall, and----"

"No, there isn't, " said I. 

"What d'you mean?" was the indignant retort. 

"What I say. Our hall is bagless. "

"I say, " said the voice with laboured clarity, "I say there is a bag inthe hall. A BAG. Hang it all, you know what a bag is?"

"Rather, " said I heartily. "What you put nuts in. An uncle of mine hadone. "

The vehemence with which the unknown subscriber replaced his receiverwas terrible to hear. 

Ten minutes later Fitch entered the room. 

"Can you get to the Albert Hall to-night, Fitch?" said Daphne. 

"I think so, madam. If we go slow. "

"Can you get back from the Albert Hall to-morrow afternoon?" said Berry. 

"If I can get there, sir, I can get back. "

"How long will it take?"

"I ought to do it in 'alf an hour, sir. I can push along in the Park, where it's all straight going. It's getting along the streets as'll takethe time. It's not that I won't find me way, but it's the watchin' outfor the hother vehicles, so as they don't run into you. "

"Bit of an optimist, aren't you?"

"I don't think so, sir. "

"Thank you, Fitch, " said Daphne hastily. "Half-past nine, please. "

"Very good, madam. "

He bowed and withdrew. 

Triumphantly my sister regarded her husband. 

"At making a mountain out of a molehill, " she said, "no one can touchyou. "

Berry returned her gaze with a malevolent stare. Then he put a thumb tohis nose and extended his fingers in her direction. 

 * * * * *

The unfortunate incident occurred in the vicinity of Stanhope Gate. 

So far we had come very slowly, but without incident, and, in spite ofthe fact that we were insufficiently clad, we were nice and warm. Forthis, so far as Berry and I were concerned, two footwarmers and a pairof rugs were largely responsible, for the elaborate nature of ourcostumes put the wearing of overcoats out of the question. Ahigh-collared Italian cloak of the shape that was seen in the time ofElizabeth made it impossible for me to wear a _surtout_ of anydescription, and I was reduced to wrapping a muffler about my neck andholding a woollen shawl across my chest, while Berry, in that puffed andswollen array, which instantly remembers Henry the Eighth, derived whatcomfort he could from an enormous cloak of Irish frieze which, while itleft his chest uncovered, succeeded in giving him a back about four feetsquare. 

Hitherto we had encountered little or no traffic, and an excellentjudgment, coupled with something akin to instinct, on the part of Fitchhad brought us surely along the streets; but here, almost before we knewit, there were vehicles in front and on either side. Hoarse directionswere being shouted, lanterns were being waved, engines were running, anda few feet away frantic endeavours were being made to persuade a pair ofhorses to disregard twin headlights whose brilliancy was adding to theconfusion. Berry lowered the window. 

"What about it, Fitch?"

"Well, sir, I'm just opposite the gate, but it's rather awkward to slipacross, in case I meet somethin'. If I 'as to pull up 'alf-way, we mightbe run into. "

"Which means that one of us must guide you over?"

"It'd be safer, sir. "

By a majority of three it was decided that Berry should enact the _rôle_of conducting officer. Jonah had a cold, and was sitting on the backseat between the girls. I had no coat, and required the services of bothhands if I was to hold my shawl in position. Only my brother-in-lawremained. He did not go down without a struggle, but after a vigorousbut vain appeal "to our better natures, " he compared himself to a lionbeset by jackals, commented bitterly upon "the hot air which is breathedabout self-sacrifice, " and, directing that after death his veins shouldbe opened in the presence of not less than twelve surgeons, as apreliminary to his interment in the Dogs' Cemetery, opened the door andstepped sideways into the roadway. 

His efforts to remove the offside oil lamp, which was hot to the touch, were most diverting, and twice he returned to the window to ask us tomake less noise. At last, however, with the assistance of Fitch, thelamp was unhooked, and a moment later our absurd link-boy advancedcautiously in the direction of the gate. 

Fitch let in the clutch. 

We must have been half-way across, when a lamp of extraordinary powercame gliding up on the near side, confusing all eyes and altogethereffacing our guiding light. 

Fitch applied his brakes and cried out a warning. Instantly the lampstopped, but its glare was blinding and our chauffeur was clearly afraidto move. 

In a flash I was out of the car and holding my shawl over the face ofthe offender. At once Fitch took the car forward. As I fell in behind, Iheard Berry's voice. 

"Thank you. I hope I didn't jostle your 'bus. Yes, I am completely andutterly lost. No, I don't mind at all. I'm going to bale out thedrinking-trough and sleep there. And in the morning they'll take me tothe Foundling Hospital. Hullo. That's done it. Blind me first and thenrun me down. What are you? A travelling lighthouse or an air-raid? Wantto get to Cannon Street? Well, I should go round by sea, if I wereyou.... Well, if you must know, I'm Mary Pickford about to be trodden todeath in _Maelstrom_ or _Safety Last_. You know, you're not racing yourengine enough. I can still hear myself think.... "

His voice grew fainter and stopped. 

Vigorously I shouted his name. A cold draught, and we swept into thePark. Fitch pulled up on the left-hand side. 

"Berry, Berry!" I shouted. 

In the distance I could hear voices, but no one answered me.... 

In response to my sister's exhortations I re-entered the car, and drew arug over my shivering limbs. The others put their heads out of thewindows and shouted for Berry in unison. There was no reply. 

For a quarter of an hour we shouted at intervals. Then Jonah took theother lamp and returned to the gate. He did not reappear for tenminutes, and we were beginning to give him up, when to our relief heopened the door. 

"No good, " he said curtly. "We'd better get on. He's probably gonehome. "

"I suppose he's all right, " said Daphne, in some uneasiness. 

"You can't come to any harm on foot, " said I. "Everything's going deadslow for its own sake. And when I last heard him, he was having the timeof his life. Incidentally, as like as not, he'll strike a car that'sgoing to the Ball and ask for a lift. "

"I expect he will, " said Jill. "There must be any amount on the way. "

"All right, " said my sister. "Tell Fitch to carry on. "

Twenty minutes later that good helmsman set us down at the main entranceto the Albert Hall. 

 * * * * *

The conditions prevailing within that edifice suggested that few, ifany, ticket-holders had been deterred from attending by the conditionsprevailing without. The boxes were full, the floor was packed, thecorridors were thronged with eager shining revellers, dancing andstrolling and chattering to beat the band, which was flooding everycorner of the enormous building with an air of gaiety so infectious thateven the staid Jonah began to grumble that the dance would be overbefore the girls emerged from the cloakroom. 

The Field of the Cloth of Gold cannot have presented a more splendidspectacle. True, there was nothing of the pageant about the function, neither were Pomp and Chivalry among the guests. But Grace was there, and Ease and Artlessness, lending the scene that warmth and life andverity which Form and Ceremony do not allow. 

The utter hopelessness of encountering my lady of the limousine was soapparent that I relegated a ridiculous notion which I had beenharbouring to the region of things impossible, and determined to thinkabout it no more. For all that, I occasionally found myself scanning thecrowd of strangers and wondering whether there was one amongst themwhose voice I knew. It was during one of these lapses that I heard myname. 

"Who have you lost?" asked Maisie Dukedom, all radiant as a goldshepherdess. 

"Dance with me, " said I, "and I'll tell you. "

She glanced at a tiny wrist-watch. 

"I promised I wouldn't stay more than an hour, " she said, "and I oughtto be going. But I want to thank you for that beautiful rug. If I giveyou the next, will you get the car for me as soon as it's over?"

"If you must go. "

She nodded, and we pushed off into the rapids. 

"And now, who is it?" she demanded. 

"I thought you were going to thank me for the rug. "

She made a little grimace of impatience. 

"The best way I can thank you is to tell you the truth. Jack and I wentto buy a rug at Lucifer's. "

"That's where we got yours. "

She pinched my arm. 

"Will you listen? We must have got to the shop directly you'd left. Theone you'd bought was still lying there. We both thought it feet aboveany other rug there, and, when they said it was sold, I nearly cried. Wewere so fed up that we said we wouldn't get a rug at all, and went offto look at book-cases and chests of drawers. I didn't get home till six, and, when I did, there was your present. Are you satisfied?"

"Overwhelmed. "

"Good. Now, who's the lady?"

"That's just what I can't tell you. I know her voice, but not hercountenance. Her name is Dot--Lady Dot. She drives in a blue limousineand she's here to-night. "

Maisie assumed a serious air. 

"This, " she said, "is terrible. Does your life depend upon finding her?I mean ... It's worse than a needle in a bundle of hay, isn't it?"

"Infinitely. "

"You can wash out the limousine, because you won't see it. And thevoice, because you won't hear it. And her name, because she won't belabelled. There's really nothing left, is there?"

Gloomily I assented. 

"I'm sorry, " said Maisie. "I'd like to have helped. " The music slowed upand died. "And now will you see me off?"

We made our way towards the exit. 

I had found her footman and sent him to summon the car, and was standingwithin the main entrance, when a familiar figure began with difficultyto emerge from a car which had just arrived. Berry. Having succeeded inprojecting himself on to the steps, he turned to hand his companion outof the car, as he did so presenting to the astonished doorkeepers a backof such startling dimensions that the one nearest to me recoiled, forall his seasoning. 

I was wondering who was the muffled Samaritan that had brought himalong, when the chauffeur leaned forward as if to receive instructionswhen to return. The light of the near-side lamp showed me the genialfeatures of that communicative fellow who had restored my grey hat somenine days before. 

Tall and slight, his mistress turned to the doorway, and I saw awell-shaped head, couped at the throat by the white of an ermine stole. Dark hair swept low over her forehead, an attractive smile sat on herpretty mouth, and there was a fine colour springing in her cheeks. 

She looked up to see me staring. 

For a moment a pair of grey eyes met mine steadily. Then--

"Is the car here?" said Maisie over my shoulder. "Hullo, Berry. "Suddenly she saw his companion. "Betty, my dear, I thought you were inScotland. "

Under pretence of arranging her wrap, I breathed Into her ear--

"Introduce me. "

She did so without a tremor. 

"And give him the next dance for me, " she added. "I've just cut one ofhis, and he's been most forgiving. "

"Too late, " said Berry. "I have not wasted the shining thirty minuteswhich I have just spent in Lady Elizabeth's luxurious car. She knows himfor the craven that he is. "

"I must judge for myself, " said my lady, turning to me with a smile. "He's given you a terrible----"

The sentence was never finished, for Berry turned to look at somebody, and Maisie noticed his back for the first time. Her involuntary cry wassucceeded by a peal of laughter which attracted the attention of everyone within earshot, and in a moment my brother-in-law found himself theobject of much interested amusement, which the majority of onlookersmade no attempt to conceal. 

My lady fled to her cloakroom. Hastily I escorted Maisie, still helplesswith laughter, to her car. 

I returned to find Berry entertaining a large audience of completestrangers in the vestibule with a fantastic account of his experiencesat Stanhope Gate. Concealing myself behind a pillar, I awaited LadyElizabeth's return. 

"Yes, " said Berry. "Betrayed by my accomplices, I found myself, as itwere, a shred of flotsam adrift in the darkling streets. Several peoplethought I was the Marble Arch, and left me on the left. Others, morediscerning, conjured me to pull in to the kerb. Removing from my northinstep the hoof which, upon examination, I found to be attached to alarge mammal, I started to wade south-west and by south, hoping againsthope and steering by the Milky Way. Happily I had my ration-card, and Iderived great comfort from its pregnant directions, which I read fromtime to time by the smell of the red-hot lamp which I was bearing.... "

Here my lady appeared, and I led her into the corridor and on to thefloor. 

As she had promised, she was wearing a silver frock. One white shoulderwas left bare, and a heavy fringe, that swayed evenly with her everymovement, made the sum line of her dress still more graceful. Silverystockings covered her gleaming ankles, and she was shod with silvershoes. 

For a little we spoke of Berry, and she told me how he had boarded hercar and respectfully begged her compassion. Then I spoke of the bitterwind which had blown us about so inconsiderately, before the fog hadcome to lay upon us stripes of another kind. 

"I lost my hat one day, " I added casually. 

At that she jumped in my arms as if I had stabbed her, but I took nonotice, and we danced on. 

Deliberately I recounted my loss and my pursuit, only omitting myencounter with her chauffeur. 

"I happen to know, " I concluded, "that the lady of the limousine is hereto-night. Before the ball is over I shall have danced with her. "

"But you've never seen her, " she protested. 

"I know her voice. "

She laughed musically. 

"Aren't you a bit of an optimist?" she queried. 

"I don't think so. And she's just sweet. "

"But if you don't know her name, how can you hope----"

"Her name, " I said, "is Dot. "

The hand upon my shoulder shook slightly. 

We danced on. 

At length--

"That's not very much to go on, " said Elizabeth. 

I sighed. 

"Don't discourage me, " I said. "When I find her, d'you think she'll giveme the seven dances she said she would?"

"O-o-oh, I never.... " She choked and began to cough violently, so that Idrew her out of the press and into a vacant corner. "I never heard ofsuch a thing, " she continued ingeniously. 

"You wicked girl, " said I. "Why was Clapham Common?"

For a moment she looked at me speechless. Then she began to laughtremulously.... 

With a crash the jazz came to an end. Almost immediately anotherorchestra took up the running, and the strains of a valse rose up, plaintive and tempting. 

I looked at my lady. 

"Have I earned my dances, Dot?"

She hesitated. Then--

"Carry on, Carry One, " she said. 

CHAPTER IV

HOW NOBBY CAME TO SLEEP UPON MY BED, AND BERRY FELL AMONG THIEVES. 

Thoughtfully I read the letter again. 

_... It nearly breaks my heart to say so, but I've got to part withNobby. I'm going to India to join Richard, you know, and I'm sailingnext week. I think you'd get on together. He's a one-man dog and a bitqueer-tempered with strangers--all Sealyhams are. But he's a good littlechap--very sporting, very healthy, and a real beauty. Let me know oneway or the other, and, if you'd like to have him, I'll send him roundwith his licence and pedigree. _

_Yours very sincerely, _

_JOSEPHINE CHILDE. _

_P. S. --He's always slept on my bed. _

The letter had been forwarded to me from London, for I was spending theweek-end in Leicestershire with the Scarlets. 

I looked across the flagged hall to my host, who was leaning against atable with a hunting horn in each hand, listening critically to thenoise he was making, and endeavouring to decide upon which of the twoinstruments he could wind the most inspiring call. 

"Live and let live, " said I. With a grin Bertram suspended hisoperations. "Listen. I've been offered a Sealyham. "

"Take him, " was the reply. "Your guests will regret it, but you won't. They're high-spirited and they're always full of beans. Hard as nails, too, " he added. "You'll never kill him. Tell me. " He brandished the hornwhich he held in his right hand. "Don't you think this sounds the best?"With an effort he produced a most distressing sound. "Or this?" Puttingthe other to his lips, he emitted a precisely similar note. 

"There's no difference at all, " said I, crossing to a bureau. "They'reequally painful. They do it rather better at level-crossings on theContinent. "

"It is patent, " said Bertram, "that you have no ear for music. "

"All right, " said I, making ready to write. "You try it. The hounds'llall sit up and beg or something. I suppose it's too much to expect tofind a pen that'll write here, " I added, regarding uneasily the enormousquill with which the bureau was decorated. 

"That's a jolly good pen, " said Bertram indignantly. "Every one saysso. "

I grunted my disbelief. 

"Which end shall I use?"

"I recommend the right one, " rejoined my host with ponderous sarcasm. "But, as I have yet to meet any one who can read your writing, I don'tsuppose it matters. "

"I have often deplored the company you keep, " said I, and with that Iselected a large sheet of paper and wrote as follows--

_DEAR MISS CHILDE, _

_I'd like to have Nobby very much. I'm awfully sorry for you, but I'llbe very kind to him for both your sakes. The reference you give him ismost satisfactory. I suppose he'll want one evening a week and everyother Sunday. And will he do in the front steps and spoil the knives? Oronly ruin the boots? I beg your pardon. For the moment I was thinking ofthe cook who nearly engaged us. Only she wanted a pension after sixmonths' service. It was very nice of you to think of me. I'll write youa proper letter when I send you a receipt. I return to Town to-morrow. _

_Yours very sincerely, _

.... 

_P. S. --He shall always sleep on mine. _

As I was addressing the envelope, the butler entered the hall. I gavehim the letter, and he promised to see that it was dispatched that day. A knowledge of Bertram's household suggested this precaution. 

 * * * * *

As I had told Miss Childe, on the following day I returned to Town. Itwas the last Monday but one before Christmas, and Jonah's birthday. Todo the latter honour, we were to dine all together at Claridge's and goon to an entertainment, presented in a house in which smoking waspermitted, and of such a nature that you gained rather than lost byarriving late. 

I reached home with sufficient time only to bathe and dress, and it wasnot until we were half-way through dinner that I learned that my letterto Miss Childe had borne immediate fruit. 

"By the way, " said Daphne suddenly; "did the servants give you thatmessage from Josephine Childe?" I shook my head. "It was down on thetelephone block, but I suppose you were too hurried to look at that. 'Miss Childe's compliments, and Nobby will be round this evening. '"Hardly I suppressed an exclamation. "We're all mad to know what itmeans. Berry scents an intrigue and says it's a cipher. "

"Worse, " said I. "It's a dog. "

"A dog?" cried Daphne and Jill together. 

"A dog. You know. A small quadruped. Something like a cat, only withhair. "

"I know, " said Berry excitedly. "I know. I've seen pictures of them. "

"Fools. Both of you, " said my sister. "What's she giving you a dog for?"

I explained the nature of the transaction. 

"I have every reason to believe, " I concluded, "that he will become oneof us. "

The others exchanged meaning looks. 

"Is he any particular breed?" said Berry. "Or just a pot-pourri?"

I braced myself with a draught of champagne before replying. Then--

"He's a Sealyham, " I said. 

Uprose a damnatory chorus. 

"I do hereby protest, " said Berry. "A barbarous breed, notorious for itsunprovoked ferocity. Peaceable possession of our tenement will beunknown. Ingress and egress will be denied us. Substantial compensationwill be an everyday affair. Any more for the Pasteur Institute?"

"Rot, " said I. "You're jealous. "

"They've awfully uncertain tempers, " said Daphne. "Maisie Dukedom hadone, and it went down and bit a new cook, who'd just come, before she'dgot her things off. They had to give her five pounds, put her up at anhotel for the night, and pay her fare back to Bristol. And she hadwonderful references. "

"Instinct, " said I. "The dog saw through her. They ought to have beengrateful. "

"Truth is, " said Jonah, "they're a bit too sporting for London. "

"Look here, " said I, consulting my watch. "At the present moment thepoor little dog is probably fretting his soul out in the servants' hall. So we'll have to keep him to-night. If he's the ravening beast you sayhe is, he shall be fired to-morrow. If not, I shall stick to him. That'sfair enough, isn't it?"

"He's going to be a darling, " said Jill. "I'm sure of it. "

Before we left for the theatre, I telephoned home and spoke to thebutler. 

"Is that you, Falcon?"

"It is, sir. "

"Any dogs come for me?"

"Only one, sir. "

"Is he all right?"

"Seems a little unsettled, sir, and--er--suspicious. He was rather shortwith Fitch sir, when he come in, but he had his leggin's on, sir, sothere's no 'arm done. He's all right with me, sir. "

I thought of the Dukedoms' cook and moistened my lips. 

"See that he has a run on the lead before you go to bed, " I said asnonchalantly as possible, "and then put him upstairs on my bed. "

"Very good, sir. "

I returned to the lounge. 

"Has the little bit of Heaven arrived?" said Berry

I nodded. 

"Casualties?"

"Nil, " said I. "Everything in the garden is lovely. "

"No doubt, " said Berry. "And the servants' hall? I suppose that's ashambles. "

"Don't be silly, " said I. "He's as good as gold. "

"There you are, " said Jill staunchly. 

"Cupboard love, " said Berry. "You wait till we come in. I shouldn't besurprised if he concentrated on me. They always aim high. It will beyour duty, " he added, turning to Daphne, "to suck the wound. That is awife's privilege. "

"The best thing, " said Jonah, "is to hold a cigarette-end to the place. "

"I beg your pardon, " said Berry. 

"Well, an iron takes such a time to heat. "

In a voice shaken with emotion my brother-in-law stated that he shouldregard any such treatment as a treacherous and aggravated assault uponhis person. 

"Don't let there be any mistake about it, " he concluded. "I'm not goingto have any amateur life-savers burning holes in my body in the hope ofbeing recommended by the Coroner's Jury. If I've got to die, I'll justgo mad in the ordinary way, thank you. I wonder who I shall bite first, "he added pleasantly. 

"Don't you worry, " said I. "Think what hydrophobia means. "

"What does it mean?"--suspiciously. 

"A horror of water, " said I. "You must have had it for years. "

 * * * * *

We left the theatre about eleven o'clock. 

We had just come in, and I was disrobing in the hall--Berry was speakingto the chauffeur--when an exclamation from Jill, who was on the point offollowing Daphne and Jonah into the library, made me look round. 

On the top step of the first flight of stairs stood a little white dog, regarding us squarely. He might have been painted by Maud Earl. His earswere pricked, his little forefeet placed close together, his tail wasupright. A gas officer would have said that he was "in the alertposition. "

"Hello, Nobby, " said I. "How goes it?"

At the sound of his name the terrier put his small head on one side withan air of curiosity as evident as it was attractive. 

"What a darling!" cried Jill. 

As she spoke I heard a latch-key inserted, and the next moment Berrypushed open the door. 

Breathing out threatenings, the darling streaked down the stairs andacross the hall to the new-comer's feet, where he stood with his backarched, one fore-paw raised, and bared teeth, emitting a long low snarl, while there was a look in the bright brown eyes which there was nomistaking. 

My brother-in-law stood as if rooted to the spot. 

Jill began to shake with laughter. 

"What did I say?" said Berry, remaining motionless. "Can't enter my ownhouse now. It's all right, old chap, " he added, gazing at Nobby with awinning smile. "I belong here. "

His statement was not accepted. Nobby, who was clearly taking no risks, replied with a growl charged with such malevolence that I thought itadvisable to interfere. 

I addressed myself to the terrier. 

"Good man, " I said reassuringly, patting Berry upon the shoulder. 

Jonah contends that the dog construed my movement as an attemptedassault, which it was his duty to abet. In any event, in less time thanit takes to record, the growl culminated in that vicious flurry whichinvariably accompanies the closing of jaws, there was a noise of torncloth, and with a yell Berry leapt for and reached the bookcase to whichhe adhered, clinging rather than perched, after the manner of a startledape. 

A roar of laughter from me and long, tremulous wails of merriment fromJill brought my sister and Jonah pellmell upon a never-to-be-forgottenscene. 

The four of us huddled together, helpless with mirth, while Berry, calling upon Sirius, clung desperately to the bookcase, and Nobby, clearly interpreting our merriment as applause, stood immediately belowhis victim, panting a little with excitement and wagging his tailtentatively. 

"After all, " said my brother-in-law, "what is Death? A b-b-bagatelle. Excelsior. Of course, I ought to have a banner, really. Just to wave asI fall. Two and a half guineas these trousers cost. Think of the dogsyou could get for that. Excelsior. Seriously, I should get him a set offalse teeth and keep them locked up. It'll save in the end. Yes, I knowit's side-splitting. I'm only sorry I haven't got a tail. Then I couldhang from the electric light. As it is, what about calling off the dog?Not that I'm not comfortable. And the air up here's lovely. But----"

With an effort I pulled myself together and laid a hand on Jill'sshoulder. 

"Here, " I said, nodding in Berry's direction, "here we have theFlat-footed Baboon, an animal of diverting but vulgar habits. Thatbetween its eyes is its nose. The only other known specimen is atDartmoor. "

"D'you mind not talking?" said Berry. "I'm just thinking out your death. They say pressing is very painful. Or would you rather call off themammal?"

I picked up Nobby and put him under my arm. 

"You know, you're a wicked dog, " said I. 

For a moment his bright brown eyes met mine. Then with a sudden movementhe put up a cold black nose and licked my face.... 

Before we retired that night, Berry had admitted that Nobby had hispoints, Nobby had accepted from Berry a caviare sandwich, and I hadhanded my brother-in-law a cheque for two pounds twelve shillings andsixpence. 

 * * * * *

It had been arranged that we should spend Christmas with the St. Martinsin Wiltshire, and we were to make the journey on the twenty-third. Highfestival was to be held at Red Abbey, a fine old place with mullionedwindows and a great panelled hall that smacked of revelry and Christmascheer even in summertime. On Christmas Eve there was to be a dance, onBoxing Day a tenants' ball, and on Christmas Day itself the house-partyof twenty souls was to assemble for dinner correctly attired after themanner of children of tender years. 

So far as clothes could do it, the spirit of childhood was to berecaptured that night. Guests had been put upon their honour to eschewevasion. Kilts and sailor suits had been forbidden, as was any suit orfrock which was not the monopoly of juveniles. Hair was to be worn down, monocles and jewellery were banned. The trappings of Dignity were to berigidly put off, and Innocence courted with appropriate mockery. Thecomposition of the house-party, which had been carefully chosen, promised an entertainment of more than ordinary interest. 

On all three evenings dance music was to be discoursed by a famouscoloured band, whose services had long ago been retained for theoccasion. 

A long-standing engagement made it impossible for Berry to accompany usfrom London. On Tuesday he must leave Town for Hampshire, buttime-tables were consulted, and it was discovered that he could travelacross country on Christmas Eve, and, by changing from one station tothe other at the market town of Flail, arrive at Red Abbey in time fortea. 

"We can take your luggage with us, " said Daphne. "You've got all you'llwant for the night at White Ladies. "

It was half-past nine o'clock, and we were all in the library, restingafter the labours of the day. 

Berry from the depths of the sofa grunted an assent. 

"All the same, " he added, "I must take something. Beard-eraser, forinstance, and a clean neckerchief. Same as when you enlist. "

"Everything you can possibly want's there already. Mrs. Foreland knowsyou're coming, and she'll put everything out. "

"I have a weakness, " replied her husband, "for my own sponge. Moreover, foolhardy as it may seem, I still clean my teeth. The only question is, what to put them in. "

"What's the matter with your pockets?" said I. 

"Nothing at present, " said Berry. "That's why I shall want yourdispatch-case. "

"Nothing doing, " said I. "I refuse to subscribe to my owninconvenience. "

"Self, " said Berry bitterly. "Why wasn't I born selfish? I've oftentried, but you can't bend an oak, can you? Anybody can have my shirt atany time. " Languidly he regarded his cuff. "No. Not this one, but almostany other. My life has been one long unrecognized sacrifice. And what ismy reward?" He looked round about him with pitying eyes. "Poor bloatedworms, you little know the angel that labours in your midst. " His ownbeing finished, with a sigh he took his wife's newly-lighted cigarettefrom the ashtray which they were sharing. "I had a dream last night, " headded comfortably. 

"What about?" said Jill. 

"I dreamed, " said Berry, "that I was a pint of of unusually broad beans. Several people remarked upon my breadth. After spirited bidding, I wassecured by no less a personage than The McAroon himself, to whom I gaveviolent indigestion within twenty-four hours. Pleased with thisattention, the laird erected in my memory a small bar at which therankest poison could be obtained at all hours by asking in Hebrew forginger ale. Which reminds me. I haven't taken my medicine. " Meaningly heregarded the tray which had just been placed upon a side-table. "Thedoctor said I mustn't move about after meals, or I'd mix it myself. Asit is.... "

He broke off and looked round expectantly. 

"Idle brute, " said Daphne. "I wonder you aren't afraid to----Where's mycigarette? I only lighted one a moment ago. "

"Perhaps it's behind your ear, " suggested her husband. "Perhaps----"

"Where's the match you lighted that one from?" demanded his wife. 

"Woman, " said Berry indignantly, "you forget yourself. Besides, I didn'tuse a match. I kindled it by rubbing two sticks together. Same as theydo in Guano, where the jelly comes from. "

Here a diversion was caused by the opening of the door sufficiently toadmit a slightly damp white ball with a black spot, which projecteditself into the room as if possessed. Nobby. Exhilarated to frenzy bythe reflection that at least four days must elapse before any one couldbe bothered to bathe him again, the terrier took a flying leap on to thesofa, licked Daphne's face, put a foot in Berry's eye, barked, hurledhimself across the room to where Jonah was playing Patience, upset thecard-table, dashed three times round the room, pretended to unearth arat from the depths of Jill's chair, and finally flung himself exhaustedat my feet. 

"I suppose this is what they call 'animal spirits, '" said Berry. "Or'muscular Christianity. '"

"It is well known, " said I, "that exercise after a bath is mostbeneficial. "

"No doubt, " was the icy reply. "Well, next time I put my foot in youreye, assume that I've had a bath and call it 'exercise, ' will you?"

"Have you written to the St. Martins?" said Daphne, "to say that you'llbe a day late?"

"I have. The masterpiece is on the writing-table, awaiting insertion inan envelope. "

I picked up the letter and read aloud as follows--

_MADAM, _

_I am disposed to refer to your invitation to make one of thehouse-party due to assemble on the 23rd instant. _

_I am to say that a malignant Fate has decreed that I shall not dignifyyour hovel before the evening of the following day. _

_The feeling of profound disappointment which this announcement willprovoke should be tempered by the reflection that you are fortunateindeed to have secured so enchanting a personality for your festivities, which, however hopeless they may appear, cannot fail to be galvanizedinto some show of life by my inspiring presence. _

_My luggage and the four ungrateful parasites who have so long battenedupon my generosity will arrive on the 23rd, as arranged. One of thelatter has stealthily acquired a mongrel, which, provided he can obtainthe necessary permit, he proposes to bring with him. My protests againstthis abuse of hospitality have been received with that vulgar insolencewhich I have, alas, learned to expect. _

_I am to request you to remember that I am visiting you incognito, asthe Duke of Blackpool, and that at this season it is my practice toconsume a mince-pie and a bottle of beer before retiring. _

_I am, Madam, _

_Your obedient Servant, _

_BERRY PLEYDELL. _

"Outrageous, " said Daphne, "perfectly outrageous. However, there's notime to write another, so it had better go. Boy, be a dear and answerthat invitation for me. "

"This lecture thing?" said I, holding up a gilt-edged card. 

My sister nodded. 

"We'll have to go, I suppose. "

In a flowing hand I wrote as follows--

_Major and Mrs. Pleydell have much pleasure in accepting the Countess ofLoganberry's kind invitation to attend Professor La Trobe's lecture onthe 3rd of January. _

When I had read this aloud--

"What an interesting subject!" said Berry. "We shall enjoy ourselves. "

 * * * * *

Three days later I was in the act of fitting a new blade to mysafety-razor, when Berry entered the room fully dressed. 

"I'm just off, " he said, "but you may as well see what you've donebefore I go. "

"What d'you mean?" said I. 

"Read that. "

He handed me a letter. I laid down my instrument of torture and read asfollows--

_SIR, _

_I am directed by the Countess of Loganberry to acknowledge yourcommunication of the 20th inst. , and to say that she cannot recollectthe inclusion of your name among those of the guests invited to assembleat Pride Langley the day after to-morrow. _

_In these circumstances I am to express the hope that you will nottrouble to favour her with your attendance upon the 24th inst. Or anyother date, and that you will take immediate steps to prevent thedispatch of your luggage and of the four parasites, for which, shouldthey arrive, she can accept no responsibility. _

_I am to add that the Countess is not interested in the acquisition ofthe animal to which you refer, or in the nature of the victuals withwhich it is your habit to console yourself of nights. _

_I am, sir, _

_Your obedient servant, _

_FREDERICK BOLETON. _

I stroked my chin thoughtfully. Then--

"I don't want to say anything rash, " said I, "but it looks as if amistake had been made. "

"But what a brain!" observed my brother-in-law. "What insight!" Heglanced at his watch. "And it's not half-past nine yet. "

"It is wonderful, isn't it? Now, all we want is a line from Diana St. Martin to say how glad she is you're going to the lecture on January the3rd. Do you agree, brother?"

"I am not here, " said Berry loftily, "to discuss your crime. Have youanything to say why the Court should not give you judgment?"

"Yes. First, this communication must be answered forthwith. Secondly, Mr. Boleton is clearly a menace to Society. It is therefore our painfulduty, brother, to proceed with the operation, inadvertently begun, ofpulling his leg until he will require a pair of field glasses to see hisown foot. "

With a grin Berry clapped me on the back. 

"I leave it to you, partner. Make the telegram windy. Wind alwaysinspires wind. " He took the letter out of my hand and slipped it intohis pocket. "You won't want this document. And now I must be going. Seeyou to-morrow, laddie. "

The next moment he was gone. 

Within the hour the following telegram was on its way to Pride Langley--

_Your letter not understood aaa cannot consent to cancel my arrangementsat this hour aaa expect me tomorrow as arranged aaa four tons of luggageentrained last night aaa loose-boxes containing parasites due to arriveat 5. 15 to-day aaa imperative these should be watered and fed within onehour of arrival aaa acknowledge. _

 * * * * *

Although the train had yet to make its appearance, the platform wascrowded. Somewhere at the far end Jonah was waiting to see that ourheavy baggage was placed in the van, while Daphne, Jill and I werestanding beside such articles as we were proposing to take in thecarriage, hoping feverishly that, when the train pulled in, we shouldfind ourselves opposite to a first-class coach. 

"Thath a nithe dog, " said an unpleasant voice on my left. 

I turned to see a very dark gentleman, clad in a light tweed overcoatand cloth-topped boots, with a soft grey hat on the back of his head, smoking an insanitary cigar and smiling unctuously upon Nobby, who wastucked under my arm. 

"Yes, " I said. 

"A Thealyham, ain't he?"

"I believe so. "

Undeterred by my evident reluctance to converse, the fellow bowed hishead as if to examine the dog, at the same time expelling a cloud ofdisgusting smoke. 

In the twinkling of an eye the terrier had sneezed, wriggled from undermy arm, and slipped to the ground. 

I was just in time to see him scuttle in the direction of a crate oflive turkeys which he had vainly struggled to approach when we passedthem a few minutes earlier. 

Suppressing a violent desire to choke his assailant, I thrust the rug Iwas carrying into Jill's arms, and started to elbow my way towards theturkeys. 

A sudden stutter of barks, a fearful burst of gobbling, and a chorus ofindignant cries suggested that the sooner I arrived to take charge, thebetter for all concerned. 

As I pushed forward, the press swayed expectantly towards the edge ofthe platform, and I glanced round to see the train pulling in. 

Thereafter my passage to the scene of the uproar was Homeric. Every stepwas contested, not actively, but with that jealous determination not toyield which distinguishes the prospective traveller who has bought anexpensive ticket and, by no means certain that the supply of seats willbe equal to the demand, interprets every movement as an attempt tosecure an unfair advantage. I eventually arrived to find in progress agame which I prefer not to describe. Suffice it that, though Nobby wasleading, two inspectors and a clergyman with an umbrella were runninghim pretty close, while the turkeys were simply nowhere. 

With a well-timed dive I secured the terrier just as he evaded a lefthook from the Church, and, disregarding the loud tones in which severalintending passengers announced their conception of the qualifications ofa dog-owner, fought my way back to where I had left the girls. The factthat the latter had managed to reserve and hold four seats did them, tomy mind, infinite credit. 

It was not until we were gliding out of the station that I looked roundfor my dispatch-case. 

I did so in vain. 

An investigation of the spaces between the seats and the floor provedequally fruitless. 

I sank back in my seat with a groan. 

"Where did you see it last?" said Daphne. 

"I'm hanged if I know, but of course it was with the other things. I putit in the hall last night, and Falcon knows I always take it wherever Igo. "

"I'll swear nothing was left on the platform, " said Jill. 

"Nor in the car, " said Jonah. "I looked there myself. "

"I've not the slightest doubt it's been pinched, " said I. "It's just thesort of thing that'd take a thief's fancy. By Jove!" I cried suddenly. "What about the swab in the light coat? I'll bet any money he took it. "

"What swab?" said Jonah. 

"Oh, a complete mobsman. Came and jawed about Nobby and then gassed himwith his cigar till he did a bunk. That put me out of the way. With thegirls trying to get a carriage, the rest was easy. Gad I Why doesn't onethink of these things? It's locked, and there's nothing terriblyvaluable in it, but I do hate being stung. "

"First stop Flail, " said Jonah, looking at his watch. "You've got thebest part of two hours to think it over. I should write out a synopsisof the crime in duplicate, with a description of the missingproperty----"

"And a plan of the station, I suppose, showing the all-red route I tookto the crate of turkeys, with a signed photograph of Nobby. I've onlygot to attach my birth certificate, and there you are. "

"Gentleman seems annoyed, " said Jonah, unfolding the _Pall Mall_. 

Jill laid a hand on my arm, and I laughed in spite of myself. 

"He'll be fed to the teeth when he gets it open, " I said. "I admit thecigars are not what he's accustomed to, but I'd like to meet the fencethat'll take a nainsook pinafore and a couple of bibs. "

This comfortable reflection in some sort consoled me. All the same, whenwe steamed into Flail I sent for the station-master and handed thatgentleman two short descriptions--one of the dispatch-case, and theother of the thief. He promised readily to keep a look-out and informthe police. 

"An' I'll telephone down the line, sir. You never know. He might be onthe train, or even 'ave got out 'ere. " I made as if to leave thecompartment. "Ah, he'd be gone by now, an' you're just off. But I'll dowhat I can. Your address, Red Abbey. Very good, sir. "

 * * * * *

Diana St. Martin was at the station to meet us, in a fever of excitementand good-will. Her obvious disappointment at Berry's absence was allayedby our assurance that he would appear the next day. 

"Of course, " she announced, "I was thrilled to learn that you were goingto the Loganberrys' lecture, but I couldn't help feeling that there wassome news, more relevant to your visit, which I ought to know. Hullo! Ishe going to honour us?" she added, pointing to Nobby, who, with tailerect and eyes looking sideways, was considering whether or no to acceptthe advances of an Irish terrier in the spirit in which they werepatently offered. "What a darling!"

"If you please, " said I. 

"Splendid. And now come along. We can all get In the limousine, andthere's a van for your luggage. "

During the drive from the station I told her the style of the letter sheshould have received, and disclosed the grave construction placed uponit by the actual recipient. When I told her that Mr. Boleton and I werenow in telegraphic communication, she gave a little crow of delight. 

"How priceless!" she cried. "Perhaps there'll be a wire when we getback. "

She was wrong. But only by a few minutes. Before we had been at RedAbbey for a quarter of an hour, a telegram was handed to me. Falcon hadforwarded it from London. 

_Forced to regard your conduct as molestful delivery of your luggagewill not be accepted parasites will remain boxed and receive necessaryattention at your expense and risk pending instructions regarding theirremoval which should be communicated to station-master direct anyattempt on your part to enter Pride Langley to-morrow will be forciblyresisted. _

At once I arranged for the dispatch of the following reply--

_At great inconvenience have arranged to postpone arrival of luggage andparasites until to-morrow aaa impossible however to stop elephants sevenof which should reach you by road before midnight and remainder by 2a. M. Aaa as already slated am unable at this juncture to cancel my visitbut shall certainly never stay at Pride Langley again aaa if "molestful"means what I think it does I shall point you out to the large parasite. _

We spent a hilarious evening. 

The Irish terrier showed Nobby that hospitality for which the Isle isfamous. He made him free of the house and grounds, showed him the way tothe kitchen, and indicated by occupation the most comfortable chairs. Nobby returned the compliment by initiating his host into the mysteriesof a game which consisted of making a circuit of the great hall, ascending the main staircase, entering and erupting from any bedroom ofwhich the door stood open, and descending the staircase--all of thisrecurring--with the least possible delay. The Irish terrier proved anapt pupil, and, so far as can be judged, if Diana's maid had notencountered them in the midst of their seventh descent, and been upset, and of vexation nipped by an angry competitor for her pains, the gamemight have gone on for weeks. This incident, however, followed by theproduction of a hunting whip, brought the game to a close and the hostto his senses. Hastily he repaired a grave omission, and a moment laterNobby was cowering in comparative, if inconvenient, safety beneath anenormous tallboy chest. 

After dinner cards were brought forth and _vingt et un_ was played. In aweak moment I volunteered to "carry" Jill, who played with an _abandon_which was at once exhilarating and extremely expensive. Her persistentrefusal to "stand" on anything less than twenty-one commanded anadmiration which, but for my presence, would have been universal. Theonly run of luck with which her audacity was favoured coincided with mytenure of the bank, during which period she took fifty-two shillings offme in seven minutes. 

As I pushed her counters across--

"I've heard of robbing Peter to pay Paul, " I said gloomily, "but neverof robbing Charlie to pay Chaplin. Why couldn't you do this when someone else had the bank?"

"You shouldn't deal me such cards, " was the ungrateful reply. 

A moment later she turned up a "natural" with a dazzling smile. 

There was a roar of laughter. 

"Of course, this is Berry's luck, " said I. "And it needs Berry's tongueto cope with it. A little more, and I shall ship for Australia beforethe mast. Yes, I'll have a brandy-and-soda, please. Of appropriatestrength. "

"In inverse proportion to your luck?" said my host. 

I shook my head. 

"That would require Berry's liver. Besides, tomorrow morning I'm goingto help your wife to decorate the church. I admit I was a fool topromise, but it's done now, and----"

The chocolate which Diana threw at me ricochetted from my cheekbone onto the hearth, and was devoured by Nobby in the very teeth of his host. 

I looked at my watch with a sigh. "I suppose I ought to have told youthat chocolates fall without the limit of his digestive powers. The lastone took about four hours. And it's eleven now. I am glad I came. "

My statement was received with ironical cheers.... 

It may or may not have been the chocolate, but in the small hours of thefollowing morning it became expedient that I should admit Nobby into theopen air. And so it came about that I stood patient and shivering, in afur coat and pyjamas, at a garden door, while a small white rough-hairedthing heaved upon the lawn twelve decent yards away. 

The sailing moon, clear-cut, issued her cold white light and showed thesleeping country silent but troubled A pride of clouds rode high inheaven, and the same strong careless wind that bore them swept from theleafless boughs of earth below a boisterous melody, that rose and fellin league-long phrases, far as the ear could follow. Nature was in aroyal mood. Her Cap of Maintenance was out, Pomp was abroad, the trumpof Circumstance was sounding. A frown of dignity knitted her gentlebrow, and meadows, roads, thickets and all her Court wore a staid lookto do her honour. Only her favourite, water, dared to smile, and theflashing lake flung back the moonlight with long ripples of silverylaughter. 

Somewhere close at hand an owl cried, and Nobby answered the challengewith a menacing bark. I whistled, and he came running, the veryembodiment of health and spirits. Marvelling at a dog's recuperativepowers, I reopened the door. As I did so, I heard the stable clockstriking. Three o'clock. 

 * * * * *

Twelve hours later a servant entered the library to arouse me from arefreshing sleep with the news that some one desired to speak with meupon the telephone. Heavily I made my way to the lobby and put thereceiver to my ear, but the first sentence I heard drove the lingeringrearguard of Slumber headlong from my system. 

It was an Inspector of Police, speaking from Flail. 

"I think we've got your case, sir. Pigskin, seventeen inches by ten, an'a blue line runnin' acrost it?"

"That's right, " I said excitedly. 

"An' it's still locked. No initials. But we'd like your formalidentification. Besides.... I don't know whether you could manage thisafternoon, sir, but if you could.... You see, it's a matter of a charge. We're detainin' a man in connection with the thef'. "

"Oh, I don't want to proceed. So long as I get the case back.... "

"'Fraid we can't 'ardly do that, sir. "

I groaned. Then--

"How far is Red Abbey from Flail?"

"Matter o' twelve mile, sir. Wouldn't take you no time in a car. "

"I'll see what I can do. Good-bye. "

Both cars were needed to meet incoming guests, but a Miss Doiran, whohad arrived that morning in her own two-seater, offered to drive me toFlail and back before tea. 

A quarter of an hour later we were on the road. 

She listened attentively to the story of my loss. When I had finished--

"You'd little enough to go on, I must say. I'd never have dared to saythat man had stolen it. "

"It was a bow at a venture, " I admitted. "But it seems to have come off. All the same, I don't want to charge the chap. He deserves six months, if only for his cigar, but I'd rather somebody else sent him down. "

"I expect they'll make you. After all, it was a pretty smart capture, and the police'll be fed to the teeth if you don't go through with it. "

"Considering it was stolen in London, I didn't see any sense in tellingthe police at Flail, but the station-master apparently knew his job. "

With a temporarily disengaged hand Miss Doiran caressed Nobby, who wasseated between us. 

"I've always wanted a Sealyham, " she sighed. 

"You could have had one for nothing at three o'clock this morning. "

"Did he have you up?"

I nodded. 

"And down and out. " I sighed. "It was a handsome night. Very cold, though. I thought of you all warm in bed. "

"What a wicked story! You never knew of my existence. "

"I thought of everybody. That embraced you. It's extraordinary howlittle women can wear without dying of exposure, isn't it?"

Miss Doiran glanced at her sleeve. 

"This coat is lined with chamois leather, " she said. "I don't know whatmore you want. "

"Yes. But your stockings aren't. When you stepped into the car I wasquite frightened for you. "

My companion's chin rose, and she stared through the wind-screen withcompressed lips. 

"I'm as warm as toast, " she said defiantly. 

"If you're no warmer than the toast I had for breakfast thismorning----"

"You should get up earlier. "

"I thought I told you I was up and about at three. "

"That doesn't count. "

"Doesn't it? All right. You get up at three tomorrow and think of me allwarm in bed, and see whether it counts. By the way, don't say you wearpyjamas, because I can't bear it. "

Miss Doiran addressed our companion. 

"Is he often like this, Nobby?"

I explained. 

"It's not idle curiosity. You see, I'm editing a directory to be called_That's That_. It's really a short list of the few nice people left whoaren't anybody: with just a word or two about their manners, failings, virtues, if any, and the attire they usually affect when off duty. Itwon't say when they were born, but why they were born. "

"That'll sell it, " said Miss Doiran. 

"So you see. May I know now, or must I wait outside the bathroom?"

"I'm afraid, " said Miss Doiran, "that you must wait outside thebathroom. "

I sighed. 

"If it is pyjamas, " said I, "I shall scream. "

Some geese hissed as we swept by. The noise was inaudible, but thehostility of their gesture was patent. Its effect upon Nobby waselectrical. Exasperated to madness by the gratuitous insult, he made themost violent attempts to leave the car, only pausing the better to liftup his voice and rave at his, by this time distant, tormentors. Hisdignity was outraged and, what was much worse, unavenged. 

"D'you still want him?" I shouted, holding fast to his collar with onehand, while with the other I strove to muffle his cries with the rug. 

"Every time. "

I swallowed before replying. 

"Of course, this is exceptional, " I said weakly. "He can be very good ifhe likes. "

Miss Doiran laughed. 

"I believe you just dote on him. "

I lugged the white scrap out of the welter of rug and set him up on myknees. Surprised, he stopped barking and looked me full in the eyes. Then he thrust a cold nose into my face. Almost roughly I put him away. 

"I believe you're right, " I said. 

Ten minutes later we drove up to Flail Police Station. 

I thrust Nobby under my arm and stepped out of the car. Then I turned tothe girl. 

"I'll be as quick as I can, " I said. 

"Right oh!"

Sure enough it was my dispatch-case. In some embarrassment I describedthe ridiculous contents. Then I produced the key and confirmed my ownwords. 

"I must say, " I said, "you haven't wasted much time. How did you recoverit?"

The inspector in charge looked grave. 

"'E's a nice little lot, what took this case, sir. I shouldn't wonder ifthere was 'alf a dozen warrants out for 'im. As plausible a rogue asever I see, an' as full o' swank as a negg is o' meat. Told us the taleproper, 'e did. One o' the kind as gets through by sheer nerve. Now, nine out o' ten'd 'ave bin through this 'ere case last night and throwedit away. But 'e's not that sort. Walks through the town this afternoonwith it under 'is arm, as bold as brass. " A 'plain-clothes' man enteredand stood waiting. "All ready? Right. " He turned again to me. "An' now, sir, we'll be obliged if you'll step into the yard and see if you seeanybody you recognize. I'd like the identification to be regular. "

Perceiving my chance of doing the thief a good turn, I assented readily. It was my fixed intention to recognize no one. 

I followed the policeman into a high-walled yard. 

Variously attired, six men were drawn up in line. 

"Do you see anybody you know?" repeated the inspector. 

I did. _Standing third from the left, with a seraphic look on his face, was Berry. _

For a moment I stood spellbound. Then I began to laugh uncontrollably. 

"Go on, you fool, " said Berry. "Indicate the felon. I admit it's one upto you, but I'll get my own back. You wait. Why, there's Kernobby. " Theterrier slipped from under my arm and ran to where he stood. "Good dog. But I mustn't play with you till the gentleman in blue boxcloth says so. 'Sides, I'm a giddy criminal, I am. " He addressed my companion. "Willyou dismiss the parade, inspector? Or shall we do a little troop drill?"

I turned to the bewildered officer. 

"It's all a mistake, inspector. This is my brother-in-law. He must haveborrowed the case without my knowledge. For goodness' sake, get thesemen away and we'll explain things. "

The inspector hesitated, but Nobby's frantic efforts to lick thesuspect's face settled the matter. Gruffly he acted upon my suggestion, and the little squad broke up. 

In the charge-room we satisfied him of the sincerity of our statementsand exonerated him from blame. To do the police justice, Berry wasdressed more or less in accordance with my hazy description of the"thief, " and it was my dispatch-case. Courtesies were exchanged, Isigned a receipt for my property, and Berry, his effects restored, gavea poor devil, who was brought in to be charged with begging, enough toconsole the latter for his detention on Christmas Day. 

A moment later I was introducing him to Miss Doiran. 

"Thief and brother-in-law in one, " I said. "A terrible combination. "

Berry took off his hat and put a hand to his head. 

"Whose reign is it?" he said dazedly. "When I entered the gaol it wasKing George. "

 * * * * *

With his back to the fire in Daphne's bedroom, Berry proceeded to clearthe air. 

"If any one of you four had a tenth of the instinct of a village idiot, it would have occurred to those diseased fungi which you call your mindsthat I had said I should want Boy's dispatch-case. But let that pass. 

"I was walking through Flail according to plan, and following thetram-lines according to the drivelling advice given me by an outsideporter with a suggestive nose. Need I say that before I had covered ahundred yards the lines branched? I was still praying for the soul of myinformant, when I observed that a large blue constable, who wasapparently lining the street, was staring at me as at an apparition. Courteously I gave him 'Good day. ' In return he handed me a look which Ishall try to forget, and asked me how I came by the dispatch-case. 

"'_I_ didn't, ' I said. 'I came by train. '

"Noticing that he seemed piqued by my reply, I made haste to suggestthat we should repair to a neighbouring dairy and consume two smallglasses of butter milk and a sponge cake at my expense. Not to beoutdone in hospitality, he made a counter-proposal, which, after somehesitation, I thought it discreet to accept. Our progress through thestreets afforded the acme of gratification to the populace, most of whomaccompanied us with every circumstance of enthusiasm and delight. Altogether it was most exhilarating. 

"My reception at the police-station was cordial in the extreme. Theytold me their theory, and I gave them my explanation. The fact that thebeastly case was still locked was naturally in my favour. In fact, everything in the garden was lovely, and I was on the point of pushingoff to catch my train, when that fool of an inspector asked if I'd leavemy card, as a matter of form. 

"'I'm afraid I haven't one on me, ' I said, 'but I daresay I've got anenvelope, ' and I started to feel in my pockets. There was only one paperthere, and that wasn't an envelope. _It was Mr. Boleton's letter. _

"The moment I saw what it was, I knew I was done. I couldn't put itaway, or they'd get suspicious. If I showed it them, they'd regard me asa first-class crook, and very big game. I suppose I hesitated, for theInspector leaned forward and took it out of my hand. 

"The rest was easy. I was reviled, searched, cautioned, examined, measured, described and finally told that I should be detained pendinginquiries. I was then immured in a poisonous-looking dungeon, which, tojudge from its atmosphere, had been recently occupied by ananti-prohibitionist, and, from its condition, not yet reached by thechambermaid. 

"Yes, " he concluded, "you have before you the complete gaol-bird. "

"How did you spend your time?" said Jonah. 

"B-b-beating my wings against the crool b-b-bars, " said Berry. "Myflutterings were most painful. Several turnkeys broke down. The ratwhich was attached to me for pay and rations gambolled to assuage mygrief. Greatly affected by the little animal's antics, I mounted theplank bed and rang the b-b-bell for the b-b-boots. In due course theyappeared full of the feet of a gigantic warder. I told him that I hadnot ordered vermin and should prefer a fire, and asked if they'd mind ifI didn't dress for dinner. I added that I thought flowers alwaysimproved a cell, and would he buy me some white carnations and ab-b-begonia. His reply was evasive and so coarse that I told the rat notto listen, and recited what I could remember of 'The Lost Chord. '" Heturned to me. "The remainder of my time I occupied in making plans forthe disposal of your corpse. "

"You've only yourself to thank, " said I. "You shouldn't have borrowedthe goods. I acted in good faith. "

"I wonder, " said Berry, "where one gets quicklime. "

 * * * * *

It was during the interval between the third and fourth dances, both ofwhich had been given me by Miss Doiran, that the latter consulted herprogramme. 

"I'm dancing the fifth, " she announced, "with the Duke of Blackpool. " Istarted violently, but she took no notice. "I think you know him. He wasreleased from prison this afternoon. As my aunt's secretary, I've hadsome correspondence with him under the name of Boleton. "

My brain began to work furiously. 

"I scent collusion, " I said. "Diana is in this. "

Miss Doiran laughed. 

"She rang me up directly she got your note about the lecture. The restsort of came natural. I believe you were responsible for the telegrams. I congratulate you. The elephants were a brain-wave. My aunt was tickledto death by them. "

"How dreadful! I mean--it's very nice of her. I'm afraid it was allrather impertinent. "

"If so, we were the first to offend, and, after all, Major Pleydell hasexpiated his crime. "

"And he's fixed my murder for the first week In January. There's reallyonly you left. "

"Oh, I'm punished already, " said Miss Doiran. "I've lost my heart. Andhe doesn't love me. "

"Would it be indiscreet to ask his name?"

Miss Doiran looked round the room. 

"When I last saw him, " she said, "he was talking to an Irish terrier. "

CHAPTER V

HOW JILL'S EDUCATION WAS IMPROVED, AND DAPHNE GAVE HER HUSBAND THE SLIP. 

"As I have frequently observed, " said Berry, "your education has beenneglected. I'm not blaming those responsible. Your instruction must havebeen a thankless task. "

"I should think the masters who taught you enjoyed their holidays. "

Such a reply from Jill was like a sudden snowstorm in June, and Berry, who was in the act of drinking, choked with surprise. When he hadrecovered his breath--

"You rude child, " he said. "My prizes are among my most cherishedpossessions. "

"Where d'you keep them?"--suspiciously. 

"Chancery Lane Safe Deposit, " was the reply. "When I die I shall leavethem to the Wallace Collection. The shoes I wore at the first night of_Buzz-Buzz_ are already promised to the Imperial Institute. "

"When you've quite finished, " said Daphne, "I'll suggest that we go upfor the day on Friday. I don't mean to-morrow, but the one after. "

"It's a little early in the year, " said I. "All the same, there's noreason why we shouldn't go up again later on. It's always open. "

"If the weather holds, " said Jonah, "it will be looking wonderful. "

Oxford. Some reference had been made to the city while we sat atdessert, and in the midst of a banana Jill had confessed that she hadnever been there. The rest of us knew the place well. Berry had been atMagdalen, Jonah at New College, and I had fleeted four fat yearscarelessly as a member of "The House. " But, while my sister had spentmany hours there during my residence, Jill had not once visited herbrother--largely, no doubt, because there was a disparity of six years, in her favour, between their ages. 

"I warn you, " said Berry, "that I may break down. My return to thehaunts of early innocence may be too much for me. Yes, " he added, "Ishouldn't be at all surprised if I were to beat my breast somewhere nearThe Martyrs' Memorial. "

"An appropriate locality, " said Jonah. "If my memory serves me, it wasfor a crime committed almost under the shadow of that monument that youwere irrevocably sent down. "

Berry selected a cigar before replying. Then--

"Only a malignant reptile would refer to that miscarriage of justice. Itwas not my fault that the animal which I employed exceeded itsinstructions and, as it were, pushed on after attaining its objective. "

"You expected it to consolidate the position?" said I. 

"Precisely. To dig itself in. It was like this. It was expedient--nomatter why--that a large boar should be introduced into Balliol Collegeshortly before 10 p. M. A gigantic specimen was accordingly procured andbrought to the Broad Street entrance in a hansom cab. It was theninduced to take up a position commanding the wicket-door. Thejuxtaposition of two hurdles, held in place by my subordinates, frustrated any attempt at untimely evacuation. At a given signal thecustomary kick was administered to the gate, indicating that some personor persons sought admission to the foundation. Unhesitatingly the porterresponded to the summons. The wicket was opened, and the pig passed in. "

"I think it was very cruel, " said Daphne. 

"Not at all, " said her husband. "There was more succulent grass upon thelawns of Balliol than was dreamt of in its ferocity. To continue. Mymission accomplished, I entered the hansom and drove to the Club. It wasduring an unfortunate altercation with the cabman, who demanded anunreasonably exorbitant sum for the conveyance of the pig, that I wasaccosted by a proctor for being gownless. The cab was still redolent ofits late occupant, and, although nothing was said at the time, it wasthis which afterwards led the authorities to suspect my complicity. Evenso, nothing would have been said but for a most distressing development. 

"I had expected that the pig would confine its attention to thequadrangles and gardens and to startling such members of the college ashappened casually to encounter it. Fate, however, decreed otherwise. Itappears that the creature's admission coincided with the opening of adoor which led directly into the Senior Common Room, where the Masterand Fellows were still discussing classical criticism and some '34 port. Attracted by the shaft of light and the mellow atmosphere of good cheerand hilarity which streamed into the comparative gloom of thequadrangle, the pig made a bee-line for the doorway, and a moment laterthe exclusive circle was enriched by the presence of this simple andunaffected guest. The details of what followed have never transpired, but from the Senior Proctor's demeanour at a subsequent interview, andthe amount of the bill for damage which I was requested to pay, I aminclined to think that the pig must have been a confirmed Bolshevist. "

"I hope you apologized to the Master. "

"I did. I received in reply a letter which I shall always value. It ranas follows--

_SIR, _

_I beg that you will think no more of the matter. Youth must be served. Many years ago I assisted your father in a somewhat similar enterprise. Till the other evening I had always believed that the havoc provoked bythe introduction of a dancing bear into a concert-room could not besurpassed. I am now less certain. _

_Yours very faithfully, _

.. "

"I think, " said Jill, "he was very forgiving. "

"It was deep, " said Berry, "calling to deep. By the way, you'll all bepleased to hear that I have received peremptory instructions 'within oneweek to abolish the existing number by which this house isdistinguished, and to mark or affix on some conspicuous part thereof anew number, and to renew the same as often as it is obliterated ordefaced. ' Selah. "

"Whatever, " said Daphne, "do you mean?"

"Sorry, " said Berry. "Let me put it another way. Some genii, masquerading as officials, have got a move on. Snuffing the air of'Reconstruction, ' they have realized with a shock that the numbers ofthe houses in this street have not been changed for over half a century. Thirstily they have determined to repair the omission. We've always been'38. ' In a few days, with apologies to Wordsworth, we shall be '7. ' Asolemn thought. "

"But can we do nothing?"

"Certainly. In that case somebody else will obliterate the existingnumber, and I shall be summoned to appear before a Justice of thePeace. "

"It's outrageous, " said Daphne. "It'll cause endless confusion, andthink of all our notepaper and cards. All the dies will have to bescrapped and new ones cut. "

"Go easy, " said I. "After a decent interval they'll alter the name ofthe street. Many people feel that The Quadrant should be renamed 'TheSalient, ' and Piccadilly 'High Street. ' I'm all for Progress. "

"Is this renumbering stunt a fact?" said Jonah. "Or are you Just beingfunny?"

"It's a poisonous but copper-bottomed fact, " said Berry. "This is thesort of thing we pay rates and taxes for. Give me Germany. "

"Can't we refuse?"

"I've rung up Merry and Merry, and they've looked up the law, and saythere's no appeal. We are at the mercy of some official who came out topin algebra in '64 and has never recovered. Let us be thankful it wasn'tgeography. Otherwise we should be required to name this house 'Sea View'or 'Clovelly. ' Permit me to remark that the port has now remainedopposite you for exactly four minutes of time, for three of which mygoblet has been empty. "

"I think it's cruel, " said Jill, passing on the decanter. "I think----"

"Hush, " said Berry. "That wonderful organ, my brain, is working. "Rapidly he began to write upon the back of a _menu_. "We must inform theworld through the medium of the Press. An attractive paragraph mustappear in _The Times_. What could be more appropriate than an epitaph?Ply me with wine, child. The sage is in labour with a song. " Jill filledhis glass and he drank. "Another instant, and you shall hear thedeathless words. I always felt I should be buried in the Abbey. Anybodygive me a rhyme for 'bilge'? No, it doesn't matter. I have ingeniouslycircumvented the crisis. "

He added one line, held the card at arm's length, regarded it as apainter a canvas, sighed, and began to read. 

_A painful tale I must relate. We used to live at thirty-eight, But as we hope to go to heaven, We've come to live at number seven. Now, if we'd lived at number nine, I'd got a simply priceless line--I didn't want to drag in heaven, But nothing else will rhyme with seven. _

"Soldier, mountebank, and rhymester too!" said Jonah. "And yet webreathe the same air. "

"I admit it's strange, " said my brother-in-law. "But it was foretold bymy predecessor. I think you'll find the prophecy in _Henry the Fifth_. 'And wholesome berries thrive and ripen best, Neighboured by fruit ofbaser quality. ' My game, I think. What?"

 * * * * *

As was fitting, St. George's Day dawned fair and cloudless. Herpassionate weeping of the day before dismissed, April was smiling--shylyat first, as if uncertain that her recent waywardness had been forgiven, and by and by so bravely that all the sweet o' the year rose up out ofthe snowy orchards, dewy and odorous, danced in the gleaming meadows andhung, glowing and breathless, in every swaying nursery that Spring hadonce more built upon the patient trees. 

The Rolls sailed through the country, proudly indifferent to hill ordale, melting the leagues to miles with such swift deadliness as madeyou sorry for the lean old road that once had been so much to reckonwith. 

I was on the point of communicating this Quixotic reflection to AgathaDeriot, who was seated in front between Jill and myself, when there fellupon my reluctant ears that heavy sigh which only an expiring tire canheave. As I slowed up, it occurred to me that the puissance of the roadsof England was still considerable. 

"Which is it?" said Agatha. 

"Off hind, I fancy. " We were in the midst of a pleasant beechwood, and Ipulled in to the side of the road with a grunt. "If it had to be, itmight have happened in a less pleasing locality. "

"I gather, " said Berry's voice, "I gather that something untoward hasbefallen the automobile. Should I be wrong, correct me and explain thestoppage. "

"With that singular clarity of intellect which never fails to recognizethe obvious, you have correctly diagnosed the case. We have picked up apuncture. "

"Speak for yourself, " said Berry. "I always let them lie. I did gather abunch of bursts once, but----"

"Sorry, " said I. "I forgot how near we were to Oxford. What I meant wasthat some hostile body of a sharp nature had penetrated a tire, thusuntimely releasing the air hitherto therein confined. "

"Thank you, " said Berry. "Experience leads me to anticipate a slightdelay, the while you effect the necessary repairs. I shall thereforecompose myself to slumber and meditation. Possibly I shall toy with acigarette. Possibly----"

"Your programme will, I fear, miscarry for more than one reason. In thefirst place, you're sitting on the jack. In the second place, clumsyfool though you are, Jonah can change the wheel quicker if you helphim. " With that I climbed out of the driver's seat, and lighted acigarette. "Who, " I added, "will come for a little walk?"

"I'm coming, " said Daphne, setting aside the rug and rising from herseat between Jonah and her husband. 

"I forbid you, " said the latter, "to consort with that blasphemousviper. "

My sister leaned down and kissed him. 

"A little gentle exercise, " she said, "will do you good. I expect it'llmake you hot, so take your coat off. Then you'll have something to puton again. "

Coldly Berry regarded her. 

"How long, " he said, "did it take you to work that out?"

As we strolled down the sun-flecked road in the wake of Miss Deriot andJill, I turned and looked back at the car. Something was squatting onthe tarmac close to the petrol tank. The fact that Jonah was unstrappinga spare wheel suggested that my brother-in-law was taking exercise.... 

My sister slid an arm through mine, and we walked idly on. The roadcurled out of the wood into the unchecked sunlight, rising to where itsflashing hedgerows fell back ten paces each, leaving a fair green rideon either side of the highway. Here jacketed elms made up a statelycolonnade, ready to nod their gay green crests at each stray zephyr'stouch, and throwing broad equidistant bars of shadow across the freshturf and the still moist ribbon of metalling beyond. Two piles of stoneslay heaped upon the sward, and, as we drew near, we heard the busy chinkof a stone-breaker's hammer, a melodious sound that fitted both morningand venue to perfection. Again I fell to thinking on the old coachroad.... 

The stone-breaker was an old, old man, but the tone in which he gave us"Good day" was blithe and good to hear, while he looked as fit as afiddle. 

"You work very fast, " said I, as he reached for a mammoth flint. 

"Aye, " he said. "But it come easy, sir, after so many year. "

"Have you always done this?" said Daphne. 

The old fellow plucked the gauze from his brow and touched his batteredhat. 

"Naught else, m'm. Nine-and-seventy year come Michaelmas I've kep' theOxford road. An' me father before me. "

"That's a wonderful record, " said I amazedly. "And you carry your yearswell. "

"Thank you, sir. There's a many as tells me that. I'll be ninety-one inthe month o' June. An' can't write me own name, sir. "

"That's no shame, " said I. "Tell me, you must remember the coaches. "

"That do I. They was took off my road just afore I started breakin'meself, but long afore that I used to bring me father 'is dinner, an' Iremember them well. Many a time I've watched the 'Tantivy' go by, an'Muster Cracknell drivin'. Always nodded to father, 'e did, an' passedthe time o' day. An' father, 'e'd wave 'is 'ammer, an' call me an' tellme 'is name, an' what a fine coachman 'e were. 'Twas a Birmin'ham coach, the 'Tantivy, ' but Muster Cracknell used to 'and over at Oxford. Londonto Oxford was 'is stretch, sir. An' back. "

"Isn't that wonderful?" said Daphne. 

Agatha and Jill, who had joined us, agreed in awestruck whispers. 

The old fellow laughed. 

"I've seen the coaches, m'm, and I've seen the motors, an' they can'tneither of them do without the road, m'm. As it was in the beginnin', soever it shall be. Soon I'll pass, but the road'll go on, an' others'llbreak for 'er. For she must needs be patched, you know, m'm, she mustneeds be patched.... "

We gave him money, and he rose and uncovered and pulled his whiteforelock with the antique courtesy of his class. As we turned away, Ipinched Daphne's arm. 

"I'll bet no man's ever done that to you before. "

She shook her head, smiling. 

"I don't think so. It was very nice of him. "

"What would you call him?" said Jill. "A stone-breaker?"

I raised my eyebrows. 

"I suppose so. Or roadman. "

"I know, " said Agatha softly. "He's a Gentleman of the Road. "

"Good for you, " said I. "The title never became a highwayman one half sowell. "

As I spoke, the Rolls stole up alongside. We climbed in, Jill and Isitting behind for a change. With a foot on the step, Daphne looked ather husband. 

"Did you get very hot?" she said. 

"I did, " said Berry. "Every pore in my body has been in action. I alwaysthink it's so nice to start a day like that. "

"How would you like to break stones, " said I, "for seventy-nine years?"

Jonah let in the clutch. 

"I perceive, " said Berry, "that you are under the influence of drink. Atthe present moment I am more interested in the breaking of backs. Haveyou ever jacked up a car?"

"Often. You must stoop to conquer. "

"Stoop? You must have a comic spine. My trunk kept getting in the way. And my nether limbs were superfluous. To do it properly you should besevered below the armpits. "

"The correct way, " said I, "is to face the jack, and then bend backwardstill you face it again. Then it's simplicity itself. You work, as itwere, between your own legs. "

My brother-in-law sighed. 

"I used to do my boots up like that, when an agent in Germany. In thatway no one could assault me from behind. Those detailed to stab me inthe back were nonplussed and in several cases shot for incompetence. "

A quarter of an hour later we slid over Magdalen Bridge. 

 * * * * *

The venerable city was unchanged. That same peculiar dignity, which noimpertinence can scathe, that same abiding peace, the handiwork oflabouring centuries, that immemorial youth, which drains the cups ofTime and pays no reckoning--three wonders of the world, rose up to meetus visitors. 

Oxford has but two moods. 

This day she was _allegro_. The Sunshine Holyday of Spring had won herfrom her other soberer state, and Mirth was in all her ways. Her busystreets were bright, her blistered walls glowed and gave back the warmthvouchsafed them, her spires and towers were glancing, vivid against theblue: the unexpected green, that sprawled ragged upon scaly parapets, thrust boldly out between the reverend mansions and smothered up thesongs of architects, trembled to meet its patron: the blowing meadowsbeamed, gates lifted up their heads, retired quadrangles smiled in theirsleep, the very streams were lazy, and gardens, walks, spaces andalleyed lanes were all betimes a-Maying. 

Perhaps because it was St. George's Day, ghosts that the grey old stonescan conjure up, at Fancy's whim came thronging. The state of Kings rodeby familiar, shrewd virgin Majesty swayed in a litter down the roaringstreets, and the unruly pomp of a proud cardinal wended its scarlet waypast kneeling citizens. Cavaliers ruffled it in the chequered walks, prelates and sages loaded the patient air with discourse, and phantomtuck of drum ushered a praise-God soldiery to emptied bursaries. Withmeasured tread statesmen and scholars paced sober up and down the flags, absorbed in argument, poets roamed absent by, and Law and bustlingPhysic, learned and gowned and big with dignity, swept in and out thegates of colleges whose very fame, that spurred their young intent, theylived to magnify. 

After a random drive about the city, in the course of which we visitedSt. John's and Magdalen, we put the car in a garage and repaired to _TheMitre_ for lunch. 

Such other spectacles as we proposed to view lay more or less closetogether, and could be inspected more conveniently without the car, which claimed the constant vigilance of one of us just at the very timeswe least could spare it. 

Fortified by the deference shown him by his scout, whom we hadencountered while visiting his old rooms overlooking the Deer Park, mybrother-in-law had in some measure succeeded--so far as Jill and Agathawere concerned--in investing his sojourn at Magdalen with an ill-meriteddignity; and Daphne, Jonah and I were quite justifiably delighted when aprosperous-looking individual, with a slip in his waistcoat and adiamond ring, left his table and laid a fat hand familiarly upon Berry'sshoulder. 

"Hullo, Pleydell, old man. How's things? Don't remember me, I suppose. Lewis. " He mentioned the name of the minor college he had once adorned. "You were at Magdalen, weren't you?"

Taken completely by surprise, Berry hesitated before replying in a tonewhich would have chilled a glacier. 

"Er--yes. I'm afraid my memory's not as good as yours. You must excuseme. "

"That's all right, " said the other, with a fat laugh. "I was one of thequiet little mice, " he added archly, "and you were always such a gaydog. " To our indescribable delectation he actually thrust a stubbyforefinger into his victim's ribs. 

"Er--yes, " said Berry, moving his chair as far from his tormentor asspace would permit. "I suppose you were. One of the mice, I think yousaid. You know, I still don't seem to remember your face or name. You'requite sure.... "

"Anno Domini, " was the cheerful reply. "We're both older, eh? Don't youremember the night we all----But p'r'aps I oughtn't to tell tales out ofschool, ought I, old bean?" Again the forefinger was employed, and itsowner looked round expectantly. Beads of perspiration became visibleupon Berry's forehead, and Jonah and I burst into a roar of laughter. 

Greatly encouraged by our mirth, Mr. Lewis beamed with geniality, and, slapping Berry upon the back with the diamond ring, commended the goodold times, observed that the undergraduates of to-day were of a verydifferent class to "me and you, " and added that England was in such arotten state that, if the Coal Controller had not personally begged himto "carry on, " he would have "up stick and cleared out to Australia longago. "

At his concluding words Daphne sat up as if she had been shot. Then, administering to me a kick, which she afterwards explained had beenintended for Berry, she smiled very charmingly. 

"I suppose you're just up for the day, Mr. Lewis. As we are, " sheinquired. 

With an elaborate bow Mr. Lewis agreed, and in a moment the two werecarrying on an absurd conversation, to which Jonah and I contributed bylaughing unfeignedly whenever a remark justified an expression of mirth. Jill and Agatha were on the edge of hysteria, and Berry sat sunk in acondition of profound gloom, from which he occasionally emerged to fixone or other of us with a stare of such malevolence as only served tothrow us into a fresh paroxysm of laughter. 

Had Mr. Lewis for one moment appreciated the true cause of ouramusement, he would have been a broken man. Happily his self-confidencewas sublime, and, when Daphne finally bowed and remarked with a dazzlingsmile that no doubt he and her husband would like to have a little chatafter luncheon, he retired in a perfect ecstasy of gratification. 

When he was out of earshot--

"Why not ask him to come and live with us?" said Berry. "He could go tothe Loganberrys' ball on Tuesday, and Jonah and I can put him up for theClub. He might even stay for Ascot. "

"I think he's a topper, " said I. 

"Old college pal, I suppose, " said Jonah. "Let's call the Stilton afterhim. "

"Listen, " said Daphne. "Didn't you hear him say he was something to dowith coal? Well, the moment he said it, I thought of what I've beentrying to remember ever since yesterday morning. We've got threehundredweight left, and we've had more than our ration already. Forgoodness' sake, get him to do something for us. "

"You wicked woman, " said Berry. "You wicked, deceitful woman. "

"Nonsense, " said Daphne. "It's just a stroke of luck. Of course, hemayn't be able to help, but it's worth trying. If you want to do withouta hot bath--let alone fires--for the next three months, I don't. "

"And I am to be the cat's-paw?" said Berry. "I'm to have the felicity ofhobnobbing with that poisonous bounder----"

"You've done it before, " said I. "He remembers it perfectly. "

"Vermin, " said Berry, "you lie. My association with that little pet wasconfined to the two solitary occasions upon which I was so misguided asto be the guest of a club of which he was not a member, but which was, nevertheless, an institution of the college which he adorned. Afterdinner it was customary to pay a short but eventful visit to the roomsof the most unpopular man in college. On each occasion Mr. Lewis's roomswere unanimously selected. "

"Nemesis, " said I. "He's getting his own back. "

"I rejoice to think, " said my brother-in-law, "that it was I whoconceived the idea of secreting Chinese figs in every pair of his bootsand shoes that could be found. If I remember, we used the best part oftwo boxes. "

"I depend upon you, " said Daphne. "Be civil to him for five minutes, andwe'll--we'll wait for you between St. Mary's and The Radcliffe. "

"But how nice of you! I should hate to suggest that you were not takingany risks. Of course, a punt moored in midstream would be safer. "

"He might be worse, " said I. "I admit I could spare the diamond, but atleast he's not wearing a cummerbund and sand shoes. "

"Hush, " said Jonah. "He's keeping them for Henley. You won't catch himout on dress. Ah me, " he added with a sigh, "I love to see old chumsmeet again, don't you?"

"There's nothing so touching, " said I, "as a reunion of souls. To revivethe memory of boyhood's intimacy, of joys and troubles shared, of visitsto the tuck-shop.... If the truth were known, I expect they were alwaystogether, sort of inseparable, you know. "

"No doubt. Naturally, Berry's a bit shy at first, but that's often theway. Before the afternoon's out, he'll be calling him 'Erb' again, andthey'll have changed hats. "

"This, " said Berry, "is intolerable. A little more and I shall burstinto large pear-shaped tears. Let's pay the bill, will you?" He rose tohis feet. "And now I'm going to remember more things in five minutesthan Mr. Lewis has forgotten in thirteen years. Will two tons beenough?"

"Make it three, " said Daphne. 

"And we are to reassemble between St. Mary's and The Radcliffe. Or wasit between The Radcliffe and St. Mary's?"

"We shall wait five minutes and no more, " said I. "That gives you oneminute forty seconds a ton, or five seconds a hundredweight. Keep thehome fires burning. "

"Mathematician and imitation humorist, " said Berry. "Isn't it wonderful?Don't forget to let me know what the bill comes to. Just as a matter ofinterest. "

He sauntered in the direction of Mr. Lewis, who was watching him withthe air of a terrier that hopes to be taken out for a walk.... 

I called for the bill, and five minutes later the rest of us werestrolling across the cobbles under the shadow of The Radcliffe Camera. 

"As soon as he comes, " said Jonah, "we'll go to New College. We can sitin the gardens there for a bit and suck soda-mints. When the process ofdigestion is completed, we can see the chapel and hall, and then one ofus can borrow a gown, and we'll look in at The Bodleian. "

The project seemed admirable, but, as has been frequently remarked, Manbut proposes. 

More than four minutes had elapsed, and we were casually saunteringtowards The High, to see if Berry was in sight, when the latter swunground the corner of Brasenose with Mr. Lewis stepping joyously by hisside. 

Instead of his grey Homburg, my brother-in-law was wearing a softclerical hat which was too small for him. The ludicrous effect createdby this substitution of headgear can be more easily imagined thandescribed. 

For a moment we wavered. Then Jill gave a shriek of laughter, and webroke and scattered something after the manner of a mountedreconnoitring patrol that has unexpectedly "bumped into" a battalion ofthe enemy. Our retreat, however, was not exactly precipitate, and weendeavoured to invest it with a semblance of hypocrisy not usuallythought necessary in warfare; but it was in no sense dignified, and onlya child, too young to differentiate between right and wrong, could havefailed to recognize the true motive which prompted our withdrawal. 

Seizing Agatha by the arm I turned left about, pointed vehemently to thedome of the Camera, and hurried her in the direction of the gate whichadmitted to that institution. Simultaneously Jonah wheeled right aboutand, apparently imparting information of a startling characterconcerning the east front of Brasenose to his sister and cousin, beganto hustle them towards the entrance. To Berry's repeated nominalexhortations we paid not the slightest attention. Coal or no coal, thecombination of Mr. Lewis and my brother-in-law--the latter in a moodwhich the assumption of so ridiculous a garb made it impossible tomistake--was too awful to contemplate. There are things which are worsethan a cold bath. 

I did not stop until we were safely on the leads of the Camera. Considerably out of breath, we leaned cautiously upon the balustrade, ifpossible from our eminence to observe the manoeuvres of our terror. Lookwhere we would, there was no one to be seen. 

"The brute must have followed the others into B. N. C. , " I panted. "I'dlove to see them come out. "

"I think he's a scream, " said Agatha. "If he could only see himself inthat hat.... "

She dissolved into peals of laughter. 

"I agree. But I'd rather watch from the stalls than assist him in one ofhis turns. "

"Stalls? This is more like the gallery. "

"True. But remember. 'Who sups with the devil should hold a long spoon. 'All the same, if you can bear another proverb, 'It's an ill wind, ' etc. If I hadn't been hard up for a refuge, I should never have thought ofbringing you up here, and for any one to get an idea of Oxford it's asgood a place as I know. "

Miss Deriot gazed at the magnificent prospect before replying. 

"It ought to make me feel very small, " she said suddenly, "but somehowit doesn't. It's so terribly old and all that, but it's got such a kindlook. "

"That, " said I, "is the quality of Oxford. And I congratulate you. Youare articulate where wise men have stood dumb. Perhaps it's becauseyou're so much alike. "

"Who. "

"You and Oxford. "

"Am I so terribly old?"

I shook my head. 

"But you're beautifully built, and you've got a kind look and handsomeways, and your temples are a dream, and all our swains commend you, and----"

"Stop, stop. You're getting mixed. "

"Not at all. My intellect was never less clouded. In spite of twoglasses of ginger beer, my hand is like a spade--I mean a rock. Insert afly in your eye, and I will remove it unhesitatingly. "

"I'll take your word for it, " said Agatha. 

"One of these days I shall compare you to a burst of melody. At thepresent moment I am between your dimple and the deep sea. "

"The dimple you are, " said Agatha, with a smile that promised laughterwith difficulty suppressed. 

Amusedly I regarded her. 

She was very tastefully dressed. A blue silk coat and a white lacedblouse beneath it, a pale grey skirt of some soft stuff, grey silkstockings and small grey shoes--these with a hat of crocheted silk thatmatched her jersey--suited her pretty figure and the April day to rareperfection. 

Leaning easily against the worn masonry of the balustrade, slight, litheand graceful, she was the embodiment of vitality in repose. She stood sostill, but there was a light shining in the brown eyes, that were castdown and over the parapet, keeping a careful watch for any indication ofBerry's activity, a tell-tale quiver of the sensitive nostrils, aneagerness hanging on the parted lips, which, with her flushed cheeks, lent to a striking face an air of freshness and a keen _joie de vivre_that was exhilarating beyond description. 

"I wonder what's happening, " said Agatha, nodding down at the gateway. "Can they get out another way?"

"I'm not sure. There is another gate, but----"

"At last, " said a familiar voice. "I wouldn't have missed those stairsfor anything. Think of the fools who've trodden them before. " The nextmoment Berry, followed by Mr. Lewis, made his appearance. "Why, here areour little playmates. " He advanced beaming. "Don't be shy any longer. And what a storied retreat you have selected!" He indicated the buildingwith a sweep of his arm. "You know, originally this was a helter-skelterlighthouse, but Henry the Eighth lost his mat half-way down the chute, and had it closed down in revenge. There was a great deal of feelingabout it. Especially on the part of the King. He hunted from a litterfor months. "

I addressed myself to Miss Deriot. 

"Wonderfully well-informed, isn't he? Scratch the buffoon and you getthe charlatan. "

Berry turned to Mr. Lewis. 

"Much of my crowded life, " he said, "has been devoted to research. I am, as it were, a crystal fount of knowledge. I beg that you will bathe inme. "

Not knowing exactly what reply to make to this offer, Mr. Lewis laughedheartily, while Agatha, overcome with emotion, hurriedly turned away andstared over the roofs of Oxford, shaking with long spasms of laughter. 

Stifling a desire to join her, I crossed to Mr. Lewis and engaged him inreasonable conversation, while Berry seized the opportunity ofindicating to Agatha the main points of the city, accompanying hisgesticulations with a series of inaudible remarks, which, to judge fromtheir reception, concerned Mr. Lewis more nearly than Oxford, and wereof a grotesque character. I was just leading up to the question of fuel, when a cry from my brother-in-law interrupted me. 

"My hag, " he announced, "is below. With a notorious winebibber. Whereare the women police?"

The next moment he had slid an arm through Agatha's and had begun todescend. I followed with Mr. Lewis.... 

I pass over the meeting in the street below, which I was just in time towitness. Berry's swoop was so sudden that his prey appeared to realizethat the game was up, and made no attempt to fly. It was almost piteous. An apprehension of certain embarrassment to come extinguished theinstant impulse to shriek with laughter which was written plain upontheir faces, and my sister gave one wild glance about her before turningto face the delinquent. 

As I came up she addressed him. 

"Berry, I appeal to you to take off that hat. "

"My tongue, " was the reply, "I mean my hands, are clean. Bereft of myown headgear, I had no choice. Some absent-minded priest is nowscandalizing his parishioners by parading in a pearl-grey Homburg whichis four sizes too big for him, while I--would you have me go naked inthe streets?"

Here the Vice-Chancellor passed, preceded by his Bedels with stavesreversed, and Berry uncovered and fell upon his knees. Surprised by theunwonted attention, the dignitary raised his mortar-board and bowed. 

"Let's go and touch him, " said Berry excitedly. "Then we shan't get theKing's Evil. That's the origin of inoculation. "

"I implore you, " said Daphne, "to behave yourself. As a personalfavour----"

"You see in me, " said her husband, "a huntleyed palmer seeking the tombof Anne of Cloves. On finding it, I must scourge myself. Anyone whodirects me to it will be assaulted. "

"She's buried at Oranges, " said Jonah. "But don't let that stop you. "

Berry replaced his wideawake and stared at him. 

"To mock me, " he said, "is most dangerous. Several people have beentransformed for such an offence. Only yesterday I was compelled tochange a taxi-driver into a Gorgonzola of military age. "

Several clocks struck the half-hour. Half-past two. 

"Look here, " said I. "We want to go to New College and 'The House, ' butwe can't push off if you're going to come with us looking like that. ForHeaven's sake, go back to _The Mitre_ and get your own hat. Mr. Lewis, won't you go and fix him up?"

Quick as a flash, Daphne threw her weight into the scale which I hadslung. 

"Yes, do, " she implored. "You know, you oughtn't to have let him comeout like that, " she added, with a reproachful smile. "And then you canjoin us a New College. "

Our manoeuvre was successful beyond all expectation. His vanityflattered, the gentleman addressed flung himself into the breach withevery manifestation of delight, and, seizing my brother-in-law by thearm, haled him gleefully in the direction of The High, humouring hisobvious reluctance with the familiar assurances which one usuallyassociates with the persuasion of the unsober. 

In silence we watched them till they had turned the corner. Then--

"Did I say New College?" said Daphne hurriedly. 

"You did, " said I. "So we'd better go straight to 'The House. '"

Three minutes later we were exploring my old rooms in PeckwaterQuadrangle, Christ Church. 

 * * * * *

In spite of its inauspicious beginning, we spent an enjoyable afternoon. By common consent New College was ruled out of our itinerary, but Oxfordcannot be viewed in a day, and we found much to delight our senses southof the High Street. Finally, a languorous journey by punt from theBarges to Magdalen Bridge more than compensated us for the somnolenthalf-hour which we had been proposing to spend under the shadow of theCity Wall. 

Our return to _The Mitre_--a movement which was effected with greatcaution--was eagerly awaited by the hall-porter, who inquired anxiouslyregarding my brother-in-law, and produced his grey Homburg with a noteaddressed _To the Owner_ stuck in the hatband. 

"The gentleman as was of your party, sir, was inquirin' about 'is 'at anhour or two back, sir. 'E 'adn't 'ardly gone, when a reverend gent comein, all of a state, with this 'at in 'is 'and. Seems he took it awayabsent-minded like, instead of 'is own, sir. Though 'ow 'e can 'ave madesuch a mistake I can't think, 'is bein' a Church 'at as plain as plain. But they're like that up 'ere, sir, some o' them. "

We stared at one another, frankly astonished to learn that Berry'sfantastic explanation was founded strictly upon fact. 

"Did the clergyman get his own back?" said I. 

"Yes, sir. 'Ere it was in the 'all. "

Apparently neither the porter nor the divine had any idea of the abuseto which the latter's wideawake had been put. 

"Oh, well, our friend'll be in presently, " said Jonah, taking theHomburg. "When he comes, tell him we've got his hat and are having tea. "

"Very good, sir. You see there's a note there, sir? The reverend wroteit 'ere. I think 'e was 'opin' to ave seen your gentleman and told 'im'ow sorry 'e was, but when 'e 'card 'e was out, 'e sits down an' writes'im a letter. 'E was in a state. "

"Poor man, " said Daphne, following after Jonah. "After all, there's noharm done. "

"It was a near thing, " said I. "But for my brain-wave----"

"Nonsense, " said Daphne, "I got him away. "

"To be candid, " said Jonah, "if anybody's to get a mention, I'm inclinedto think it should be Mr. Lewis. "

While we were waiting for tea, I read the letter aloud. 

_SIR, _

_I can never adequately express my regret for the distressing, ifmomentary, aberration unhappily responsible for my appropriation of ahat which in no way resembles my own. _

_I dare entertain no hope that inconvenience has not resulted to you, but I beg that you will accept, first, my fervid assurance that it wasnot of industry, but of case that I offended, and, secondly, my mosthumble apologies for the commission of so unfriendly a gest. _

_I am, Sir, _

_Your obedient Servant, _

_LUKE ST J. BILDEW, B. D. _

When I had finished--

"I don't understand half of it, " said Jill. 

"I confess it needs annotating, but it's worth keeping, for it's thereal thing, my dear--a human document. You see, Oxford is the mostwonderful backwater in the world, but--it's a backwater. "

"And if you stay in it always, " said Agatha, "and never come out intothe stream----"

"You are liable to take the wrong hat and to write letters that would bethe better for footnotes. "

Berry arrived with the tea. 

In silence he received his own hat, compared it with one which he hadjust purchased, and then handed the latter to the waiter. In silence heread Mr. Bildew's note. In silence he selected a piece of bread andbutter and sank into a chair. 

"I can't bear it, " said Daphne. "Where's Mr. Lewis?"

"Happily he decided to catch a train twenty minutes ago. Otherwise itwould have been murder. I should have pleaded guilty to manslaughter, committed under extreme provocation. That man oughtn't to be allowed. Isuppose you forgot to go to New College. Yes, just so. "

"And the coal?" said I. "Have you fixed that up?"

"Three tons of the best nuts are to be delivered _sub rosa_ between twoand three to-morrow afternoon. Nothing is to be said, nothing signed. Nobody is to know anything about it. The carter will simply take up theplate, shoot the stuff in, and push off. As I happened to have sixpounds ten shillings upon me, the transaction will not be recorded. "With a depreciatory hand he waved aside the involuntary buzz of gratefuladmiration. "I am not long for this world. I am, as it were, ear-markedfor a more worthy sphere. My translation may occur any moment. I shouldlike Lewis to have some trifle in memory of me. A personal effect, Imean. I've got a gun-metal sovereign-case somewhere. But anything usefulwill do. "

 * * * * *

We made a point of being in upon the following afternoon. It was notoften that we all sat down to lunch together, but the satisfaction ofwitnessing the delivery of three precious tons of coal in the teeth ofthe authorities was more than we could forego. The butler was admittedto our confidence, and instructed to stifle any attempt to allaycuriosity, by interpretation of the carman, that might originate in theservants' hall, and immediately after luncheon, which finished at threeminutes to two, an O. P. Was established by the side of one of thedining-room windows, in which Jill was posted with orders to advise usdirectly the convoy appeared. 

In the library we spent a restless time. Berry, usually somnolent atthis hour, sat upon the club kerb and toyed with _The Times_. Jonahfidgeted with a refractory pipe. Daphne glanced from the clock to hernovel and the novel to the clock at intervals of fifteen seconds, and Iwrote four letters to the War Office about my gratuity, and veryproperly destroyed them as incoherent one after another. 

At a quarter past two, by common consent, I visited Jill to see if shewas asleep.... When I made my report we reminded one another that Mr. Lewis had said between two and three, and agreed that it was early asyet. 

At half-past two Daphne left the room and did not return. 

At twenty minutes to three I made no attempt to disguise my uneasiness, and joined my cousin and sister in the dining-room. 

Ten minutes later Jonah and Berry came in. 

After a hurried consultation it was decided that, if the coal had notarrived in ten minutes' time, Berry should telephone to Mr. Lewisforthwith. Almost immediately it was found that nobody knew the man'snumber, initials, or address, and reference to the Directory showed thatthere were four columns of subscribers all bearing his name. 

At five minutes past three the strain was telling, and every one'stemper began more or less to show signs of wear and tear. 

"Are you sure, " said Daphne for the fourth time, "that it was to comebetween two and three?"

"No, " said her husband. "That's why I've been waiting. "

"Fool, " said his wife. 

Berry sighed. 

"Some people are very hard to please. If I were you, I should take acourse of ventriloquism. Then you can ask yourself questions and giveyourself any perishing answers you like. At times you might even revileyourself. "

Five minutes later Jonah announced that he was going to Ranelagh, andinquired whether any one wanted a round of golf. Berry accepted theinvitation, and they left together. 

The arrival of Fitch with the car at half-past three reminded my sisterthat she was going to call upon some one in Regent's Park, and shewithdrew in a state of profound depression. 

Jill, who was on the very brink of tears, refused to leave her postuntil a quarter to four, and, when that hour arrived, slow-treading butcoalless, it was only my promise to take her to see Charlie Chaplinforthwith that could coax the ghost of a smile to play about her lips. 

As I closed the front-door behind us, a neighbouring clock struck four. 

Moodily we walked down the street, talking of cinemas and thinking ofcoal. Had our thoughts been otherwise employed, the condition of thepavement outside a house about a hundred and twenty yards down on theopposite side would have recalled them pellmell to our disappointment. It was obvious that a considerable quantity of coal had been recentlydelivered to a more fortunate _ménage_. Idly I looked at the number ofthe house. _From either pillar of the porch a freshly painted "38"grinned at me. _ For a moment I stared at them blankly. Then Jill gave achoking cry and caught at my arm.... 

I realized with a shock that, while Mr. Lewis had been as good as hisword, my brother-in-law's recollection of our change of address was lessdependable. 

CHAPTER VI

HOW NOBBY ATTENDED A WEDDING, AND BERRY SPOKE NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 

"If I am to drive, " said Jonah, "I won't be responsible for doing it ina minute under two hours. " He looked down at Nobby, who, with a sectionof one of my shoe-trees in his mouth, was importuning him to play by thesimple expedient of thrusting the bauble against the calf of his leg. "My good dog, if you expect me to interrupt an agreeable breakfast tojoin you in the one-sided game of which you never tire, you are doomedto disappointment. Go and worry your owner. "

With a reproachful look the terrier took his advice and, trotting acrossto the sideboard, laid his toy at my feet and looked up expectantly. Ihardened my heart. 

"It is not my practice, " said I, "to gambol upon an empty stomach. TryJill. "

Slowly the brown eyes sank from mine to the bottom button of mywaistcoat. As I moved to my place, plate in hand, he gave a protestingbark, which was answered by a fox-terrier from the box-seat of a passingvan. In a flash Nobby was upon the sill of the open window, hurlingdefiance at the intruder. 

"Is he coming with us?" said Daphne. 

"I don't see why he shouldn't. We can leave him at Hillingdon whilewe're at Church. By the way, what time does the balloon go up?"

"The marriage, " said Jonah, "is to be solemnized at two o'clock. As Isaid a moment ago, it'll take us two hours to get there. If we start ateleven, that'll give us an hour to brush one another, lunch and rehearsethe series of genial banalities with which it is the habit ofwedding-guests to insult one another's intelligence. "

"I believe, " said Jill, "I heard the telephone. "

I called upon Nobby to suspend his fury, and we all listened. Sureenough, a long spasm of ringing came simultaneously from the library andthe lobby in the back hall. 

"I shouldn't be surprised, " said I, "if that was the Club, to tell meI've drawn a runner in the three-pound sweep. " And, with that, I left mykidneys and repaired to the library. 

"Can I speak to Major Pleydell?" said a voice. 

"Who is it, please?"

"The Waddell Institute speaking. "

"Oh, yes. Will you hold the line?"

I went to the foot of the stairs and shouted for Berry. There was noreply. In some annoyance I ascended the first flight and shouted again. From behind a closed door his voice answered me. It was with a maliciouspleasure that I located its origin.... 

A moment later I opened the bathroom door. 

From the depths of a luxurious bath Berry regarded me. 

"That's right, " he said. "You come in. Don't take any notice of me. Anddon't shut the door, or the servants won't be able to see in. "

"You are wanted, " said I, "upon the telephone. "

"How interesting!" said Berry. "I suppose you told them to hold on. "

"I did. "

He sank into a recumbent position and crossed his legs. 

"What a marvellous thing, " he said, "the telephone is. There's thatfool, Heaven knows how many miles away, sitting with his ear glued to apiece of vulcanite, and here am I in the midst of an exactingtoilet--d'you think he'd hear me if I were to shout? Or would you rathertake a message?"

"It is, " said I, "the Waddell Institute. "

The savagery with which my brother-in-law invested a very ordinaryexpletive was quite remarkable. 

"Why, " he added, sitting upright, "cannot they ring up at a lawful hour?Why must they----"

The sentence was never finished. With the rush of a whirlwind, Nobbytore into the room. His delight at having run me to earth wastransformed to ecstasy at encountering unexpectedly another member ofthe household, hitherto missing from his tale, and, observing that thelatter's face was a reasonable distance from the ground, and so lessinaccessible than usual, the Sealyham leapt upon the rim of the bath tooffer the lick of greeting which it was his practice to bestow. 

The result was inevitable. 

Nobby tried to save himself by reaching for Berry's shoulder with hisforepaws, but at the critical moment his buffer flinched, the paws fellshort of their objective, and with a startled grunt the terrier fellheavily into the bath, his desperate claws leaving two long abrasionsupon his victim's ribs. 

The scene that followed baffles description. 

Berry began to roar like a wounded bull, while a bedraggled Nobbyscrambled and blew and slipped and scratched, caring not at all what washis understanding, so long as it provided a foothold and kept his headabove water. 

"He thinks I'm a straw!" yelled Berry. "He's catching at me. Don't standthere like a half-baked corner-boy. Get him _out_!"

But I was helpless with laughter, from which I only recovered in time torescue the offender, who, with the bath to himself, was swimmingsturdily in the deep water and scrabbling fruitlessly on the porcelain, while Berry, in a bath-dressing-gown and a loud voice, identified andenumerated the several scratches upon his person. 

"For Heaven's sake, " said I, "go and answer the telephone. "

"I shall die, " said Berry, slipping his feet into a pair of pumps. "Ishall get pneumonia (bis) and die. I got into that bath in the prime, asit were, the very heyday of life. And now.... At least, I shall be inthe fashion. 'The body of the deceased bore signs of extreme physicalviolence. ' Any more for the crime wave?"

I wrapped Nobby in my brother-in-law's towel and followed the latterdownstairs. 

My sister was standing in the library's doorway. 

"What on earth, " she demanded, "has been the matter?"

I held up my hand. 

"Listen. "

Berry was speaking upon the telephone. 

"Is that the Waddell Institute? I am so very sorry--I might almost saydistracted--that you should have been kept waiting.... You see, I'vejust been mauled.... No. Not 'called, ' mauled. Emma, ak, u, l forleather--I beg your pardon. Yes, isn't it tawful? Well, if you mustknow, it was a bloodhound. They told me at the Dogs' Home that he'd losthis scent as a result of the air raids, but last night the charwomangave him a sausage I'd left, and he pulled me down this morning.... Yes. This is Major Pleydell.... Oh, Walter Thomas Dale? Yes, I rememberperfectly.... Received the requisite number of votes? Splendid.... Canbe admitted on the fifteenth of June? Thanks very much.... What?... Oh, I shall pull round. Yes, thanks. I shall just get the wounds plugged, and.... Good-bye. "

We heard the receiver replaced. 

"Hurray!" cried Daphne. "I am glad. That's a real load off my mind. Write and tell them this morning, will you?" I looked up from theoperation of drying Nobby and nodded. "Poor people, they'll be sothankful. And now, what happened upstairs?"

"Mixed bathing, " said I. "Your husband had not left the bath when Nobbyentered it. Both were frightened, but neither was hurt. "

As I spoke, Berry emerged from the library with a cigarette in hismouth. 

"My milk-white skin, " he said, "has been defaced. My beautiful trunk hasbeen lacerated as with jagged nails. You know, I tremble for that dog'ssoul. It mayn't be his fault, but it's invariably my misfortune. " Heturned to my sister. "You heard about Walter Thomas? Good. And now Ishall slip on some iodine and underclothes and come down as I am. "

"Jonah says we must leave at eleven, " said Daphne. "For goodness' sake, don't be late. "

"My wedding garments are prepared and but await my entry. The sponge-bagtrousers are unrolled, the elastic-sided boots untreed, the made-up tiedusted. Of course, we're taking Nobby?"

I looked up from my charge, who was by this time fairly dry and as fullof beans as an egg is of meat. 

"Of course. "

"Of course. You never know. I might get run over. That'd give him anopening. "

"Here, " said I, "is your towel. He's all right now. "

Carefully Berry fingered the fabric. 

"He was wet, wasn't he?" he said. "Yes. I suppose I can dry myself onthe curtains. I wonder which of us he would bite if I were to assaultyou. " He hung the towel over his arm, picked up the terrier and lookedinto his eyes. "You wicked scrap! Why, he's not nearly dry yet. " Nobbylicked his face. "Come along up with uncle, and we'll share thebath-mat. "

The two disappeared up the staircase, wrangling amicably regarding mybrother-in-law's right to pull the terrier's whiskers. 

"You won't forget to write, will you?" said Daphne, as we returned tothe dining-room. 

"I promise, " said I. "You shall see the letter. "

Trooper Dale, W. , had been in my squadron in the field, and for threeweeks he had taken my first servant's place. Incidentally he had alsotaken two pounds ten shillings in notes, which I frankly admit I had nobusiness to have left in my pocket. Taxed with the theft, he had brokendown and told me a piteous tale. 

A delicate wife and a little boy with curvature of the spine neededevery honest halfpenny that could be turned--and more also. Between achauffeur's wages and his Army pay there was fixed a great gulf, and--well, it was hard to know that the child was suffering for want ofnourishment. 

I caused inquiries to be made. A convenient aunt investigated the caseand found it genuine. Between us we did what we could. Then, on herreturn from Egypt, my sister visited the family and reported that theywould be most thankful if the child could be admitted to a first-classhome. With the Waddell Institute Berry had Influence, and at last acoveted vacancy had been obtained.... 

Before we left for Monk's Honour I composed a suitable letter to theex-trooper, telling him that his little boy could soon be received intoan institution, from which there was every reason to believe that hewould eventually emerge comparatively restored to health. 

 * * * * *

It was a lovely day. And we were glad of it, for at two o'clock myCousin Madrigal was to be married from the old house where she was born, and in the old church In which she was baptized. A special train wasbeing run from London, but Monk's Honour lay four miles from the neareststation, and it was doubtful if the supply of cars and carriages wouldprove equal to the demand. Therefore we had decided to go down by road. With my uncle's land marched the well-timbered acres of Hillingdon, where the Tanyons lived, and they had very kindly invited us toluncheon, so that we should not descend untimely upon a simmeringhousehold. In their keeping we proposed to leave Nobby and the car. Thehouse was only five minutes' walk from the church and as many again fromMadrigal's home, so that once we had reached the village we should needno conveyance until the time came for us to return to Town. 

For a wonder we were all on time, and it was barely eleven o'clock whenJonah let in the clutch and the Rolls began to move. Daphne sat infront, and Jill between Berry and me on the back seat. The girls woredust-cloaks to save their finery, and two large bandboxes concealedtheir respective hats. Berry, Jonah and I wore light overcoats above ourmorning-dress, and three tall hats, ironed to perfection, each in hisstiff white hat-box, jostled one another on the mat at our feet. Asmaller box by their side contained three blooming gardenias. 

Once clear of London Jonah gave the Rolls her head, and we were soonfloating through the midst of blowing cherry orchards and fragrant hopgardens, which of the great sun were quick with radiance. 

The deeper we plunged into the countryside, the richer this became. Herewas a treasure of woodland, and there a wealth of pasture: grey lichenedwalls hoarded a precious park, keeping the timid deer in generouscustody: a silver stream stole between smiling hayfields, crept shadowedand cool under the dusty road and, beyond, braided a spreading cloth ofgolden buttercups, that glowed with a soft brilliancy, such as nohandicraft on earth could coax from the hard heart of costly metal. 

Presently we left the main road to sail up a curling hill, and over anddown past a fair steading into a friendly valley, where the cattle stooddrowsy under the shelter of giant chestnut trees, and luxurianthawthorns in full blossom filled all the neighbouring air with timelysweetness. At the bidding of an aged finger-post Jonah turned to theleft, and a moment later the car was scudding up a leafy lane, high-banked, narrow, and soon so screened and arched with foliage thatin a little we were being swept through a veritable tunnel, seeminglydriven through the living green. More than once the lane changeddirection, but the tunnel held: the ground was rising, but we sailed on, the steady purr of the engine swelling into a low snarl as we swung toright and left between the cool green walls.... 

As we slid through Marvel, the clock of the old grey church showed usthat it was five and twenty to one. We were in good time, for now but ashort seven miles lay between us and the village which we sought. 

Jonah settled himself in his seat and prepared to cover the last lap atan easier pace.... 

Before we had realized what was happening, it was all over. 

The road which we were using ran at right angles into a better-class wayby the side of an old oast-house. Here, for Monk's Honour, we must turnto the left. Jonah, prince of drivers, slowed for the turn and soundedhis horn carefully, for ours was the lesser road. As we rounded thecorner there was a deafening roar, a cry, a violent shock, a splinteringcrash, the Rolls quivered like a ship that has struck, and a great greentouring car tore past and was gone in a cloud and a flurry of dustbefore we had come to rest with our near fore-wheel eighteen inches upthe near-side bank. 

Dazedly I watched a little white dog with a black patch take a flyingleap into the road, stumble, pick himself up, and hurl himself in thewake of the monster, barking furiously. Then the whirling dust swallowedhim up, and I saw him no more. 

"LF 8057, " said Daphne. "LF 8057. Write it down, somebody. Quick. LF8057. "

"That's right, " said Jonah. "I got it too. LF 8057. "

In silence I dragged a pencil out of my pocket and with tremblingfingers wrote down the precious figures on the back of an envelope. 

"Anybody hurt?" continued Jonah, screwing himself round to look at theback seat. 

"We're all right, " said I. "But it was a close call. "

"The brute!" cried Jill passionately. "The beastly stinking----"

Berry spoke between his clenched teeth in a voice shaken with choler. 

"We'll have that blistered swine if we have to drag hell for him. Forall he knows, the car's overturned and on fire, and we're pinned underit. It's German. Pure full-blooded German. It's the most verminous thingI've ever dreamed of. It's----Burn it! Words fail me. "

He rose and got out of the car. I followed him and helped Jill toalight. She was a little pale, and, when she saw the havoc on theoff-side, her eyes began to fill with tears. 

I put my arm about her. 

"Don't worry, darling. It looks worse than it is. And we'll have thatmerchant's blood. We've got his number. "

Daphne came up to comfort her, and Jonah, after a cursory glance at thedamage, limped to the opposite side of the road, sat down on the bank, and lighted a cigarette. 

"What was he doing?" said Berry, his face still a dark red. 

I shrugged my shoulders. 

"Shouldn't like to say. Maybe seventy. Maybe more. But it was afrightful pace. " I pointed along the road to left and right. "See how itcurves. And we're on the outside of the bend. To clear us at that pace, he'd 've had to go over himself. "

"How can we hit him best?"

"All round. We can summon him under the Motor Car Acts and bring a civilaction for damages. He ought to go down heavily. "

"No escape?"

"I should say we've got him cold. "

Berry heaved a long sigh and clapped me on the back. 

"I feel better already, " he said. 

Before doing anything else, Jonah and I subjected the Rolls to a carefulexamination. 

Both wings and the running-board on the off-side had been ripped off, and the front axle was bent by the side of the steering-pin. The offfore-wheel had apparently been struck on the tire, and the fact thatneither of the fore-wheels had collapsed spoke volumes for their sturdyconstruction. The shock, however, had put the steering-gear out ofaction. So far as we could tell, that was the extent of the damage. Whether any further injuries would later appear, it was impossible tosay. 

I crossed to the girls and Berry, who were seated disconsolate upon thebank on the opposite side of the road. Heavily I made my report. 

"There's only one thing to do, " I concluded. "I must leg it to Marveland see if I can raise a couple of mechanics, some tools, and a car. Ican drive back with them, and then we can leave them here and all go onin the hireling to Hillingdon. We shan't get any lunch, but we'll be intime for the wedding, with luck. By the time we get back from Monk'sHonour, if the fellows know their job, we ought to be able to get theRolls to Marvel under her own power. From there she'll have to come upto Town by rail. And we can go back by the special, whenever it leaves. "

As I finished speaking, Jill gave a little cry, and I turned to see asmall white scrap, way down the long white road, plodding wearily in ourdirection. It was our Champion. As he came nearer, it was obvious thathe was much exhausted. More than once he stumbled, and a red tonguelolled from his gaping jaws; but his little tail was up, and, as hetoiled gamely towards us, he wagged it to and fro by way of greeting. Ofone accord we welcomed him with a cheer. Obviously gratified by ourappreciation, Nobby smiled an unmistakable smile and, wagging his tailmore vigorously than before, quickened his flagging steps. A momentlater he thrust a dusty nose against my extended hand and, bowing histousled head sideways by way of homage, rolled over on his back and laypanting in the shade at my feet. 

"Good little chap, " said I, stroking his heaving flank. "It didn't takeyou long to get a move on. "

"You darling!" said Jill, stooping to caress him "The way you went afterthat car was just heroic. "

"I suppose, " said Berry, "that if I were to suggest that he knewperfectly well that he couldn't catch it, and that it was nothing morethan a brilliant display of eye-wash, I should be abused. "

"What a shame!" cried Daphne and Jill in a breath. "What a beastlyshame!"

"I said so, " said Berry. "Now, if I'd got out and chased it, you'd havehad me certified. "

"I agree, " I retorted. "And if you were to offer to walk to Marvelinstead of me, I should have you watched. "

"Don't be afraid, " was the rejoinder. "The shock was severe, but I'm notas bad as that. How soon d'you think you'll be back?"

I turned to my sister. 

"I'm banking on being able to get a car. But there mayn't be one. So, ifyou can get a lift, don't wait. " I pointed to Nobby. "He'll want to comewith me, so hang on to him. And if you could find some water"--I glancedat the oast-house--"I think he'd be glad of it. "

"All right, dear. Take it as easy as you can. "

A moment later I was striding along the Marvel road. 

By the time I had covered the two miles it was a quarter past one, and Iwas unpleasantly hot. I was also conscious of being improperly dressedin an unusually loose grey overcoat, tweed cap, striped cashmeretrousers and patent-leather boots. I had taken off my morning coat andwaistcoat before starting to walk, but the heat was awful, and my stiffwhite shirt and collar were wilting visibly.... 

I was fortunate to obtain the services of two mechanics, but I mustconfess that my face fell when the only car that was available proved tobe a 1908 Ford.... 

As we drew up at the fatal corner, the others came out of the oast-houseto see what was making the noise. When they beheld their conveyance, they were profoundly moved. 

"Do you mean to say, " said Daphne, "that this is the best you could do?"

I nodded. 

"And you'll have to look sharp if you want to be there before theservice is over. One cylinder's missing. "

"So's the skid-pan, " said Berry. "And where's the back seat? I beg yourpardon--I'd got it the wrong way round. It is facing that way, isn't it?Yes. Oh, but what a line! What finish! You know, all it wants is a boardwith 'Ancient Lights' on the radiator, and somebody to close its doorsone day in every year, and then, whenever the fowls lay in it, you canturn them out. "

During this eulogy Jonah had been busy transferring the hat-boxes fromthe Rolls, and two minutes later the mechanics had been given theirinstructions, and we were ready to start. 

I took the wheel, with Jonah sitting beside me. Daphne and Jill sat uponthe back seat, and Berry, in a standing position, Nobby, the hat-boxes, and the buttonholes more than occupied the remaining space. 

"Right behind?" I inquired. 

"Anything but, " said Berry. "Still, the door that will shut is closed, so carry on. "

As tenderly as I could, I let In the clutch. 

Instantly, with a frightful jerk, the car leapt forward. 

As it did so, Berry lost his balance and, with a yell of apprehension, fell heavily into the welter of hat-and bandboxes, the cardboard ofwhich gave right and left. Construing his involuntary action as thedemonstration of a new game, Nobby immediately leaped barking upon himand began to lick his face. Daphne and Jill clung to one another, convulsed with merriment and emitting such tremulous wails of laughteras the function of breathing would permit, while, with tears coursingdown his cheeks, Jonah was trying to bellow a coherent description ofthe catastrophe into my ear. And all the time the good old car groundraving along the road, heaving herself over the macadam in a sickeningseries of lurches, to every one of which we found ourselves reluctantlycompelled to conform.... 

The bride was ten minutes late, and we beat her by a short head. As wewere ushered, breathing heavily, into our places, there was a tell-talestir at the porch, uprose the strains of a well-known hymn, thebridegroom glanced round and gave slightly at the knees, and the nextmoment his future wife had entered the aisle. 

Furtively I felt my collar and wiped the perspiration from my face.... It was with something of a shock that, as the echoes of the "Amen" diedaway, I heard a familiar growl. 

Hastily I turned in my seat to see Nobby three paces away. With backarched, one fore-paw raised, and his white teeth bared, he was regardingthe trousers of an amateur sidesman, who had set a foot upon the brokenstring which trailed from his collar, with a menacing glare.... 

By the time I had bestowed the terrier under lock and key and returnedto the church, Madrigal was signing her maiden name for the last time. 

 * * * * *

Five days later Berry received the following letter:--

_SIR, _

_Mr. Douglas Bladder of The Vines, Swete Rowley, has handed us yourcommunication of the twenty-third inst. _

_We are instructed to say that, while there is no doubt that its numberis LF 8057, Mr. Bladder's car did not leave the garage upon the day ofthe accident in which you were concerned, for the reason that he and hischauffeur were engaged in overhauling the engine. _

_It is therefore obvious that a mistake has been made, and that unlesssome other car was bearing his number, which you will agree isimprobable, in the natural confusion of the moment the letters orfigures or both upon the offender's number-plate were misread. _

_Our client wishes us to add that, while the tone of your letter is notsuch as he is accustomed to, he appreciates that it was written whileyou were smarting under a sense of grave injury, and was indeed intendedfor somebody other than himself. _

_Yours faithfully, _

_BERTHEIM AND GROWTH. _

This being the quarter in which the wind was sitting, we made ourdispositions accordingly. 

So far as the number of the car was concerned, Daphne and Jonah neverwavered, and we were certain about its colour and style. Moreover, wewere all agreed that, while the back seat was empty, there were twopeople in front, and that the one who was not driving was wearing achauffeur's dress. Finally, the village of Swete Rowley lay but sometwenty-two miles from the scene of the accident. But that was all. Itwas, of course, unthinkable that the offending car could have sustainedno damage, but it was quite possible that it would have nothing moreserious to show than a dented hub-cap and a battered wing; and, whilehub-caps can be changed in five minutes, it is no great matter tostraighten a bent wing, and any traces of battery which still survivecan be unanswerably attributed to one or other of quite a variety ofinnocent mishaps. 

Inquiries were set afoot, and the moment we learned that Mr. Bladder infact possessed a large green high-powered touring car, which he was inthe habit of driving himself at a notorious pace, we threw down theglove. Solicitors were instructed, counsel's opinion was taken, aninformation was sworn before a Justice of the Peace, and within one weekof the date of his solicitors' letter, Mr. Douglas Bladder had becomethe recipient of a writ for four hundred pounds damages and fourseparate summonses under the Motor Car Acts. We were out for blood. 

At Marvel's Police Court the defendant appeared by his solicitor, whoasked that the hearing of the summonses might be adjourned, pending theaction in the High Court. This request was granted. 

Everything possible was done to expedite matters, and by great goodfortune the case of _Pleydell v. Bladder_ came into the Special Jurylist during the last week of July. 

 * * * * *

There is about the High Court a signal air of gravity which to thelayman is most compelling. The majesty of the Law is not apparent: ofseverity there is but a suggestion: something, indeed, of dignity, butless than a visitor will expect to find: something of silence. These arebut equerries, subordinate. The Lady Paramount is Consequence. 

Here seem to dwell those things that signify. Here lies that crucialjunction which is at once the terminus of Cause, and of Effect thestarting-point. Here are wise analysts, skilled to distil its meaningfrom the idle word, surgeons whose cunning probes will stir its motivefrom the deed, never so thoughtless. Whole walls of law books, rangedvery orderly, calf-bound, make up a reverend pharmacopoeia, where youshall find precepts of iron, smelted from trespasses and old-timebickerings, whose long-dead authors, could they but come to life, wouldgape and stare and scratch their humble heads to find their modest namesbecome so notable. 

Pursed lips, brows wrinkled in thought, and restless anxious eyesindorse the serious aspect of the place. The very bustle of counsel, thescurry of clerks, the dash of messengers, proclaim matters of moment tobe afoot. The whispered consultation, the pregnant nod, the nervouslitigant buttonholing his lawyer, his advisers urging a certain courseupon an indignant suitor, the furtive fellowship of witnesses, thesolemn tipstaves, the ushers commanding silence, and the still smallvoice of Justice, charge all the dusty atmosphere with such importanceas ties up the ready tongues of chatterers, ushers the jest still-born, and renders the very self of Folly wide-eyed and breathless. 

Punctually at half-past ten his lordship entered the Court, returned thebows of counsel, and took his seat upon the Bench. With a sharp jinglethe usher drew the green curtains across the door which led into theJudges' corridor, descended into the well of the Court, and lookedcomplacently about him. Two or three cases were mentioned, the jury wassworn, and the Associate, after inquiring nonchalantly whether theKing's Counsel were prepared, called on the case of _Pleydell againstBladder_, and sank back in his seat with a look of resignation. 

Daphne, Jonah, and Jill were seated behind the junior Bar, while Berryand I sat one upon either side of our attorney at the solicitors' table. Upon the same bench, a little further along, was sitting Mr. Bladder, alarge bland gentleman, with an air of good-nature which in thecircumstances was rather too pronounced to be natural, and a taste indress which would have better become a younger and a slenderer man. 

Briefly our leader opened the case. There was little to be said, and hewas on his feet for less than a quarter of an hour, but in that space oftime he had presented to the jury so vivid a word-picture of theaccident, and had dwelt so convincingly upon the facts which pointed tothe defendant's guilt, that it was actually difficult to believe thatthe issue of the action was any longer in doubt, and I began tospeculate upon the amount of damages we should be awarded. Such is theart of pleading. 

A plan of the spot at which the collision had taken place was producedand officially accepted by the defence. Then Jonah was called. He gavehis evidence admirably, and all counsel's endeavours to shake hisconfidence regarding the identity of the number-plate were of no avail. Daphne followed her cousin. She was a little nervous at first, and theJudge requested her to raise her voice. She responded gallantly, and theconviction with which she told her story in corroboration of Jonahproduced a noticeable effect upon the Court. The result of hercross-examination was in our favour. I came next. Counsel for thedefence made a great effort to pin me to a certain estimate of the speedat which the offending car was moving, but I scented danger and refusedto be tied down. 

It was considered unnecessary and not altogether expedient to expose ourartless Jill to the mercies of our opponent's team, and, when I steppeddown from the box, my brother-in-law's name was at once called by ourjunior counsel--

"Major Pleydell. "

His examination-in-chief was very short. As was to be expected, he madean excellent witness. I began to wonder whether the defendant would beso foolish as to appeal.... 

Perhaps because the cross-examination of his predecessors had been sobarren, the leader for the defence rose to deal with Berry with amenacing air. He was a "silk, " whose obvious confidence in his abilitywas shared by few. Influence rather than merit had, I was told, won hisadmission to the Inner Bar, and the supercilious manner which hecontinually observed towards the Bench afforded a first-class exhibitionof particularly bad form. 

"This mysterious car, " he began, "that we've all heard so muchabout--you say it was green?"

"I do, " said Berry. 

"What sort of green?"

"A bilious green. "

There was a subdued titter, and one of the jurymen made no attempt todisguise his amusement. The frown upon counsel's face deepened. 

"Was it a light or dark green, sir?"

"Light. "

"Might it have been grey?"

"It might. It might have been a beautiful ruby pink. But it wasn't. Itwas just green. "

A second titter, more pronounced than before, ran round the Court, andcounsel flushed angrily. 

"You have sworn that it was an open car?"

"So it was. "

"And that there were two passengers?"

"So there were. "

"And that the one who was not driving was wearing a chauffeur'suniform?"

"So he was. "

"Listen. You saw its colour, you noticed its style, you swear to thenumber of passengers, and were actually able to observe how one of themwas clad. How is it that you cannot speak to its number?"

"I will tell you. I was sitting----"

"On your oath, sir!"

"No, on the back seat. " There was more than a ripple of laughter, andthe Judge shot a quick glance at counsel before removing his _pince-nez_and sitting back in his chair. "The heads and shoulders of Mrs. Pleydelland Captain Mansel, who were seated in front, obscured my view. "

"Wasn't it because the car was travelling too fast?"

"Certainly not. They saw it. "

"That is a matter of opinion. "

"It is a matter of fact, " was the retort. 

"It is easy to be rude, Major Pleydell. "

"I'll take your word for it. "

Counsel appealed to the Judge. 

"My lord, I must ask your lordship----"

"I see no reason to interfere, " was the cold reply. 

Counsel swallowed before proceeding. He was one of those who cannot letill alone. 

"The truth is, " he announced, as if byway or conclusion, "that yourrecollection of the whole matter is extremely hazy, isn't it?"

For a moment Berry regarded him. Then he leaned back in the box andfolded his arms. 

"You know, " he said, slowly shaking his head, "you know, you can't bewell. "

There was a roar of laughter. 

"Never mind my health, sir, " was the heated reply. 

"Oh, but I do, " said Berry. "If you were to burst or anything, I shouldbe all upset, I should. "

Again the Court, which was now packed, rocked with merriment. The tonein which counsel put his next question reeked of the insolence of anger. 

"You consider your recollection clear?"

"As daylight. Let me explain----"

Counsel held up a deprecatory hand. 

"Pray spare us. There was, I believe, a lot of dust. "

"There was. "

"Any amount of it?"

"Any amount. The road was thick with it. "

"And the air?"

"Any amount of that, too. For a windless day, I never----"

"No, no, _no_! Wasn't the air thick with dust?"

"After the car had gone by--yes. It swallowed up the dog completely. "

"The dog?"

Berry started and looked round uneasily. 

"Perhaps, " he stammered, "I shouldn't have.... "

Counsel rose at the bait like a carp upon the tenth of April. 

"This is most interesting. You say the dust swallowed the dog?"

"Yes, and the dog swallowed the dust. It was quite remarkable. "

Amid the tempest of laughter counsel stood glowering. 

"What dog are you referring to?"

"A Sealyham. When the car had gone by, he jumped out into the dust ithad made and ran after it. "

Hurriedly counsel conferred with his client. 

"Why didn't you mention this dog before?"

"I didn't think it necessary. "

"Did you tell your solicitor about it?"

"Yes. He didn't think it necessary, either. "

"Really! You know, I thought we should get at something presently. Now, if the defendant didn't happen to own a Sealyham, this would be rather avaluable piece of evidence to show that it wasn't his car, wouldn't it?"

"I don't think so. You see----"

"Come, come, sir. Up to now nothing has been said of the offending carwhich could not be said with equal truth of the defendant's. "

"I cordially agree. "

"Both are green, both open, both, according to your story, bear the samenumber. "

Berry nodded. 

"Unquestionably, " he said. 

"Wait. Supposing the defendant swears that he has never had a Sealyhamor any other kind of terrier?"

"I don't know that I should believe him, but I shouldn't argue it. Perhaps he doesn't like dogs. "

"You'd accept his statement?"

"For what it was worth. "

"Exactly. And if he had no terrier, it's quite obvious that the car outof which the Sealyham jumped was not his, but somebody else's?"

"Undoubtedly, " said Berry. "As a matter of fact, it was ours. "

The explosion of mirth which this statement provoked showed that hisheadlong progress towards the pit which he had digged had been gleefullyfollowed by nearly everybody in Court, and counsel turned very pale. 

"Have you ever discussed this case with any one?"

"I have. "

"Who with?"

Berry took a deep breath. 

"Well, I haven't seen my dentist lately, but I think everybody else Iknow has had it. "

"Have you discussed it with the other witnesses?"

"Ad nauseam. "

"Have you indeed? Perhaps that explains why you all tell the same tale?"

"That, " said Berry coolly, "is an infamous suggestion. "

Somebody gave an audible gasp, and there was a breathless silence. Sitting back in his padded chair, the Judge might have been a gravenimage. 

"Sir?" thundered counsel interrogatively. 

"And one beneath the dignity of even a stuff gown. "

For a long moment the two men looked one another full in the eyes. Thencounsel sat down somewhat unsteadily.... 

Berry was followed by an expert witness, called to substantiate ourcontention that two hundred pounds was a fair charge for the executionof such repairs to the Rolls as the accident had necessitated, and thatanother two hundred for the hire of a similar car for the month duringwhich our own was in dock, was not excessive. 

As he stepped down from the box--

"That, my lord, " said our leader, "is the case for the plaintiff. "

It was a quarter to one when Berry's antagonist rose again to his feet. Shortly he opened his case. Nothing, he said, was more difficult toprove than a negative. But for one thing, it might have gone hard withan innocent man. Everything looked very black, but, as luck would haveit, most fortunately for himself, Mr. Bladder could prove incontestablythat upon the twenty-second of May his car never left its garage, forthe very good reason that its engine was down. "I shall call thedefendant, and I shall call before you his chauffeur. Both will tell youin detail that the dismantling of the engine was commenced at ten in themorning, and that by half-past twelve--a few minutes before the actualtime of the accident--the operation was completed. " That the plaintiffhad suffered an injury he did not attempt to deny. As a fellow-motorist, he had Mr. Bladder's whole-hearted sympathy. His annoyance wasjustified, but he could not expect Mr. Bladder to pay the penalty forsomebody else's misdeeds. He had no doubt that the witnesses honestlybelieved that they had correctly memorized the letters and figures uponthe number-plate. It was his duty to satisfy the Court that they weremistaken.... 

As he sat down, I realized that it was not going to be a walk-over. 

Mr. Douglas Bladder made a masterly witness. I have rarely seen a moreaccomplished liar. His regret was infinite. With horrified hands hedeplored what he referred to as "the shocking affair. " He thunderedunsought denunciation of "the dastardly conduct of some fugitive cur. "As a motorist, he "so well understood our feelings. " But--at length andwith a wealth of detail he described how he and his chauffeur had spentthe twenty-second of May. With the exception of an hour for lunch, theyhad worked on the car in the garage from ten o'clock until five. "Itseemed a shame, " concluded the witness, "to waste such a beautiful day, but I had earmarked the twenty-second for the job, so we went throughwith it. "

A most dangerous thing in the hands of any witness, detail is seldomemployed by the dishonest. It is not difficult safely to embroider alie, but it apparently requires more thought, patience, and rehearsalthan ninety-nine rogues out of a hundred are prepared to spend. It soonbecame unpleasantly clear that Mr. Bladder was the hundredth knave, andthat in return for his labour he had a story to tell which was asexcellent an imitation of the truth as you might reasonably expect tohear in six whole months of Sundays. 

I began to feel extremely uneasy. 

To make matters worse, he came through his cross-examination untouched. For every question put to him he had a good natural answer, and, when hestepped down from the box and the Court rose at five-and-twenty minutespast one, it was with something of a shock that I found myself wonderingwhether by any possible chance a mistake had been made, and we werepursuing an innocent man. 

Berry had engaged a table at the _Savoy_, and he and the others leftimmediately, for there was little time. 

I stayed for a moment to speak with our advisers. 

"It's no use disguising the fact, " said counsel in a low tone, "that weare up against it. I believe that fellow to be a prize liar. He's tooinfernally suave. But he knows his job inside out, and he's shaken ourcase badly. I can't speak for the Judge, but he's impressed the jury, and you can't get away from it. If his chauffeur comes up to thescratch, I believe they'll stop the case. " I groaned, and he touched meon the shoulder. "You go and get your lunch, " he said. 

Heavily I made my way out of the building. 

I was waiting for the taxi to which I had signalled, when--

"I observe, " said a quiet voice, "that you don't remember me. "

I swung round to see a tall dark girl with grey-blue eyes and a charmingsmile regarding me amusedly. But a moment before I had passed her uponthe steps, and, as I did so, wondered what was her business with theSupreme Court. I took off my hat. Now that I saw her properly, her faceseemed faintly familiar. 

"Forgive me, " I said. "I was preoccupied. "

The smile deepened. 

"I defy you to say where we have met before. "

I continued to rack my brain feverishly, but it was no good. 

"I can't concentrate, " I said desperately. "I can tell you where weshall meet again all right. "

"That's not the point. Try Madrigal's wedding. "

"Of course. You were one of her bridesmaids. "

"That's better. How's Nobby?"

The taxi was waiting, so I opened the door. 

"I'll tell you about him at lunch. We'll find the others at the_Savoy_. "

She hesitated. 

"It's very good of you, but---"

"My sister, " I said gravely, "would never forgive me. "

The next moment we were rocketing past St Clement Danes. 

"And now, " said I, "what have you been doing in the Palace of Lies? Whatincorruptible judge have you corrupted with your smile? What jury haveyou bewitched with your small mouth? Or are you just a ward inChancery?"

My lady smiled. 

"What a pity, " she said, "you can't remember my name! However will youintroduce me?"

"I shall call you Miss Prision of Treason, " said I, "and chance it. Andwhat may I say you were doing in yonder Fool's Paradise?"

"You're very bitter and terribly inquisitive, " said my companion. "Still, if you must know, I came down to be taken to hear a case. I'vegot a brother at the Bar, and the little wretch told me to meet himthere, and he'd get me in to hear a motor-car case. " I started. "Ofcourse he never appeared, and I--my father was a K. C. , so I'm notfrightened--I just walked in and sat down in the first court I came to. It wasn't very interesting, but there were three judges. All in red, too. By the way, what's arson?"

"Setting fire to a house. All on purpose like. But tell me. D'you knowanything about the case you were to have heard?"

"Only that the head of Paul's chambers is in it. That's how he knew itwould be interesting. "

"Is he in Tristram's chambers?"

"How on earth did you know?"

As she spoke the taxi drew up at the entrance to the _Savoy_. 

"Oh, it's our precious case. That's all. " I handed her out twittering. "Didn't you know we'd had a smash on the day of the wedding?"

"I did hear something. You don't mean to say.... "

I paid the driver and hurried her into the hall. 

"If you want to be there, " I said, "to see us go down, you'll have tohave a pretty quick lunch. "

We joined the others to find them in a state of profound despondency. Mycompanion was immediately recognized by my sister and Jill, but, to myrelief, Berry and Jonah were not quite so quick in the uptake. 

"Came to hear our case, " I explained, "and got swep' into the Court ofCriminal Appeal. "

"Talk as you eat, " said Berry. "Converse and masticate simultaneously. You know. Like you used to do before you knew me. What's Tristram got tosay?"

I swallowed a piece of salmon before replying. 

"Frankly pessimistic, " I said. 

Berry raised his eyes to heaven and ground his teeth. A hard look cameupon Jonah's face. 

"And we've got to sit there and watch that liar laugh in his sleeve, " hesaid bitterly. 

"And pay his costs as well as our own, " said I. "Jolly, isn't it?"

Daphne touched me upon the arm, and I looked up She was very pale. 

"D'you think it's hopeless?"

"I think, darling, we're up against it. And--and I'm terribly afraid. "

"I see, " she whispered. "Need Jill and I go back?"

"Jill needn't, but you must, dear. You're a witness. "

As I spoke, I shot a glance at my cousin. The latter was unburdening hersoul to Madge Lacey, the quondam bridesmaid, and, to judge from suchfragments of the load as reached my ears, uttering sufficient slanderregarding Mr. Douglas Bladder to maintain another dozen actions at law. 

As some cold tongue was set before me--

"Every thing was going so well, " said Daphne miserably. "I thought Berrywas splendid. "

"He was, " said I, sousing my brandy with soda. "So were you, sweetheart. Nobody could have done more. And they don't disbelieve you and Jonah. They just think you've made a mistake. "

She nodded dully. 

"I don't blame them, " she said slowly. "That man is so terribly clever. His whole attitude----"

A cry from Jill interrupted her. 

"Daphne! Boy! She saw the car! On the way to the wedding. It nearly raninto her too. And Nobby running after it. "

"_What?_"

Four mouths--three empty and one full of tongue--framed theinterrogative simultaneously. 

"Mother and Dad and I, " announced Miss Lacey, bubbling, "were driving tothe wedding. As we turned out of Long Lane into the Buckler Road, agreat green car went by like a flash of lightning. Fortunately we wereon the other side, or we'd have been smashed up. And, miles behind, there was a little white dog running the same way. I saw him, because Iwas back to the engine. Of course we were going much faster than him, and I soon lost sight of him. "

Nobby!

Berry was the first to recover. 

"Thank Heaven I dragged him in. " He glanced at his watch. "Counsel mustknow this at once. Come on. Never mind the bill: we can settle later. "

No one who was that afternoon lunching at the _Savoy_ will ever forgetour eruption from the restaurant. The girls actually ran. Berry, Jonah, and I, pursued by frantic waiters, thrust in their wake, taking thecarpeted steps three at a time, and generally evincing such symptoms ofnervous excitement as are seldom seen save upon the screen of acinematograph. Indeed, our departure would have done credit to any stagemanager, and I firmly believe that the majority of the guests attributedour behaviour to the ingenious brain of a manufacturer of films. 

Five minutes later we panted up the steep steps into the corridor whichled to our Court. As luck would have it, our solicitor was in the act ofpushing open the swing-doors. 

I caught him by the arm and breathed into his ear. 

"Important new evidence. Vital. We've got the witness here. "

He was a man of few words. 

"In there, " he said shortly, pointing to a consulting room. "I'll getcounsel. "

We trooped into the apartment and shut the door. 

In silence we waited for what seemed a century. Then there were hastysteps, the door opened, and the K. C. , followed by his junior and theattorney, entered the room. 

Briefly Berry related the story which Miss Lacey could tell. 

"This is the lady, " he concluded. "I know our case is closed, but surelyshe can be called?"

We hung upon the reply. 

"Can she speak to the number?"

"No. But in corroboration----"

"My dear Major Pleydell, " said Tristram, "you need no corroboration. Thejury believe you. They believe you were smashed up. They believe it wasdone by a green touring car. The devil of it is, they believe thedefendant too. And so they come to the very natural conclusion that, between the excitement of the moment and the pace at which the car wastravelling, Mrs. Pleydell and Captain Mansel have made a mistake-perhaps only of one figure--in the number they saw. And, unless we candiscredit that fellow's story, call evidence to show he _was_ out onthat day, or something, I'm very much afraid we shall go down. Hiscounsel Is certain to ask for the benefit of the doubt, and they'll giveit him. "

I never remember feeling so disappointed. 

I think we all felt the weight of his words, but our collapse waspitiful. Lured by a treacherous hope into the belief that we were saved, we were fallen into a deeper Slough of Despond than before. Jill washard put to it to restrain her tears.... 

Listlessly we followed our advisers into Court, and a moment later theJudge took his seat. 

One or two applications, which did not concern our case, were made. Thenleading counsel for the defence rose to his feet and called his nextwitness--

"Walter Dale. "

At the sound of the name I started violently. Then, open-mouthed andtrembling with excitement, I twisted myself round to get a glimpse ofthe witness as he approached the box. Could it be possible that Fatewith fiendish irony had selected the ex-trooper whom we had befriendedto administer to our case the _coup de grâce_? It must be a man ofanother name. But Dale _was_ a chauffeur.... 

There was a stir at the back of the crowded Court. Somebody was pushinghis way forward. Somebody.... 

It _was_ Dale. 

The short, stockily-built figure, that I had not seen for more thanthree years, stepped out of the ruck of onlookers and took its place inthe witness-box. 

"Take the Book in your right hand.... "

It was the Associate's voice. As in a dream I heard the oathadministered. 

"The truth.... The whole truth.... And nothing but the truth. "

Dale's lips moved and he kissed the Testament. 

He was very pale. As he laid the Book down, our eyes met, and he lookedme full in the face. My heart began to thump violently. 

"Your name is Walter Dale?" said counsel. 

"Yes"--in a low voice. 

"Speak up, please, so that his lordship and the Jury may hear. You are achauffeur in the employ of the defendant?"

"Yes. "

"Do you remember the twenty-second of May?"

"Yes, sir. "

"Now, I want you to tell the Court in your own words exactly what youdid that day. First of all, on that day did your master's car leave thegarage?"

"Yes, it did. "

The Court gasped. Jurymen, counsel, officials, reporters--every one satup as if they had been shot. Even the Judge started, and the defendanthalf rose from his seat and, when his solicitor laid a hand on his arm, sank back with bayed ferocity in his eyes and a face the colour ofcigar-ash. 

"I don't think you quite understood my question, " purred counsel. "Onthe twenty-second of May, the day of the accident to the plaintiff'scar, did Mr. Bladder's car, of which you were in charge, leave thegarage?"

"Yes, " said Dale sturdily, "it did. "

"You understand what you're saying?" said the Judge. 

"Yes, sir. An' if I was to say anythin' else, I'd not only be tellin' alie, but I'd be doin' in the bes' friend as ever I 'ad. " He pointed tome. "The Captain there. Little I knowed, when I took 'ismoney"--scornfully he nodded at the defendant--"'oo it was we run intothat day. Twenty-five pound it was, an' another twenty-five if we wonthe case. "

"My lord, " said counsel, protesting, "I----"

The Judge held up his hand and turned to the witness. 

"Remember you are on your oath. "

"I do that, sir. It's gospel truth what I'm sayin'. The accident'appened exactly as you've 'eard them tell. 'E was drivin', an' me by'is side. Tore by 'em, we did, an' 'it 'em an' left 'em. Sends me up toTown for a new 'ub-cap the nex' day. Lettin' 'er out, 'e was, to see 'owshe'd run after the over'aul. That was the day before. "

He paused for lack of breath, and the Judge turned his head slowly andpeered at counsel over the rim of his glasses. 

I was looking at the defendant. 

If any corroboration of Dale's story were needed, it was written uponhis master's face for all to see. Guilt, fear, and beastly rage werehorribly depicted. The close-set eyes shifted frantically from side toside. The mouth worked uncontrollably.... 

As I looked, the fellow rose to his feet, swayed, put a hand to histhroat, and stepped uncertainly towards the doors. The crowd parted, andhe passed through.... 

A thick voice shattered the silence. 

"In the circumstances your lordship will appreciate that I can carry mycase no further. "

With a swish of silk, counsel resumed his seat. 

As was to be expected, the jury delivered its verdict without leavingthe box. As the applause subsided--

"I ask for judgment with costs, " said Tristram. 

The Judge nodded. 

"And I direct, " he said, "that the documents of the case be impoundedand be sent to the Director of Public Prosecutions. "

Amid the buzz of excitement which succeeded his words, I felt a touch onmy shoulder. Our leader was smiling. 

"Cast your bread upon the waters, " he said. "For you shall find it aftermany days. "

CHAPTER VII

HOW JONAH OBEYED HIS ORDERS, AND DAPHNE AND KATHARINE FESTIVAL BACKEDTHE SAME HORSE. 

Berry laid down his knife and fork and raised his eyes to heaven. 

"This, " he said, "is the frozen edge. I'm getting used to the distemperwhich is brought me in lieu of soup, and, although I prefer salmoncooked to raw, you may have noticed that I consumed my portion without aword. But this.... " Contemptuously he indicated the severed _tournedos_upon his plate. "You know, they must have been using the lime-kiln. Nobody could get such a withered effect with an electric cooker. Oh, andlook at our olive. Quick, before it shuts up. "

Jill began to shake with laughter. 

"I can't help it, " said Daphne desperately. "I know it's awful, but whatcan we do?"

"There must be some cooks somewhere, " said I. "The breed isn't extinct. And they can't all be irrevocably suited. I always thought the Cooks'Brigade was one of the most mobile arms of domestic service. "

"I've done everything, " said my sister, "except advertise. KatharineFestival put me off that. She says she spent seven pounds onadvertisements and never got a single answer. But I've done everythingelse. I've asked everybody I know, my name's on the books of everyregistry office I've ever heard of, and I've written and sent stampedaddressed envelopes to every cook whose name I've been given. Three outof about sixty have replied, saying they were already suited. One camehere, practically said she'd come, and then wrote to say she wasfrightened of the electric cooker. And another wanted a hundred a yearand a private bathroom. It's simply hopeless. "

"If, " said Berry, "we survive this meal, I'll write to Jonah and tellhim to bring one back with him. If he can't raise one in Paris, he oughtto be shot. And now let's have a sweep on the savoury. I'll bet ittastes of paraffin and looks like a pre-War divvot. "

"Let's try advertising, " said Jill. "Katharine mayn't have had a goodone. "

"I agree, " said I. "I'll get one out to-night. A real snorter. "

In silence the traces of the course which had provoked the outburst wereremoved, clean plates were set before us, and the footman advanced witha dish of nauseous-looking fritters. 

Daphne instinctively recoiled. 

"Hullo, " said Berry. "Another gas attack?"

With an effort my sister recovered herself and took one with a shakinghand. Loyally Jill followed her example, and, with tears running downher cheeks, induced a glutinous slab to quit the silver, to which itclung desperately. 

I declined the delicacy. 

With compressed lips the servant offered it to my brother-in-law. 

Berry shook his head. 

"Mother wouldn't like me to, " he said. "But I can see it's very tasty. "He turned to his wife. "What a wonderful thing perfume is! You know, thesmell of burnt fat always makes me think of the Edgware Road at dusk. "

"Hush, " said I, consulting the _menu_. "_De mortuis. _ Those were bananafritters. That slimy crust enshrined the remains of a once succulentfruit. "

"What?" said Berry. "Like beans in amber? How very touching! I supposeundertakers are easier than cooks. Never mind. It's much cheaper. Ishan't want to be reminded of food for several days now. " He lookedacross the table to Daphne. "After what I've just seen, I feel I cangive the savoury a miss. Do you agree, darling? Or has the fritter actedas an _apéritif_?"

My sister addressed herself to Jill. 

"Don't eat it, dear. It's--it's not very nice. " She rose. "Shall we go?"

Gloomily we followed her into the library, where I opened all thewindows and Berry lighted a huge cigar, in the hope of effacing thestill pungent memory of the unsavoury sweet. Gradually it faded away.... 

Three weeks had passed since the mistress of our kitchen, who hadreigned uninterruptedly for seven years, had been knocked down by a taxiand sustained a broken leg. Simple though the fracture fortunately was, at least another nine weeks must elapse before she could attempt toresume her duties, and we were in evil case. Every day we became morepainfully aware of the store which we had unconsciously set bydecently-cooked food. As time went on, the physical and mental disorder, consequent upon Mrs. Mason's accident, became more and more pronounced. All topics of conversation became subservient to the burning question offilling the void occasioned by her absence. Worst of all, dissatisfaction was rampant in the servants' hall, and Daphne's maid hadhinted broadly that, if a cook was not shortly forthcoming, resignationswould be--an intimation which made us desperate. Moreover, in anothermonth we were due to leave Town and repair to White Ladies. There, deepin the country, with no restaurants or clubs to fall back upon, weshould be wholly at the mercy of whoever controlled the preparation ofour food, and, unless the situation improved considerably, the prospectwas far from palatable. 

Moodily I extinguished my cigarette and filled and lighted a pipe in itsstead. Then I remembered my threat. 

Berry was writing a letter, so I extracted a sheet of notepaper from theleft-hand drawer and, taking a pencil from my pocket, sat down on thesofa and set to work to compose an advertisement calculated to allurethe most suspicious and _blasée_ cook that ever was foaled. 

Jill sat labouring with her needle upon a dainty tea-cloth, pausing nowand again to hold a whispered and one-sided conversation with Nobby, wholay at inelegant ease supine between us. Perched upon the arm of a deeparmchair, my sister was subjecting the space devoted by five dailypapers to the announcement of "Situations Required" to a second and moreleisurely examination. 

Presently she rose with a sigh and crossed to the telephone. 

We knew what was coming. 

Every night she and Katharine Festival communicated to one another theirrespective failures of the day. More often than not, these took thesimple form of "negative information. "

She was connected immediately. 

"Hullo, that you, Katharine? ... Yes, Daphne. Any luck? ... Not much. You know, it's simply hopeless. What? ... 'Widow with two boys of sevenand nine'? Thank you. I'd rather ... Exactly ... Well, I don't know. I'dgive it up, only it's so awful ... Awful. "

"If she doesn't believe it, ask her to dinner, " said Berry. 

"Shut up, " said Daphne. "It's all right, Katharine. I was speaking toBerry ... Oh, he's fed to the teeth. "

"I cannot congratulate you, " said her husband, "upon your choice ofmetaphor. "

My sister ignored the interruption. 

"Oh, rather ... His food means a lot to him, you know. "

"This, " said her husband, "is approaching the obscene. I dine off tepidwash and raw fish, I am tormented by the production of a once lusciousfillet deliberately rendered unfit for human consumption, and I amdeprived of my now ravening appetite by the nauseating reek from theshock of whose assault I am still trying to rally my olfactory nerves. All this I endure with that unfailing good----"

"Will you be quiet?" said his wife. "How can I---"

"No, I won't, " said Berry. "My finer feelings are outraged. And thatupon an empty stomach. I shall write home and ask to be taken away. Ishall----"

"Katharine, " said Daphne, "I can't hear you because that fool Berry istalking, but Boy's getting out an advertisement, and we're going to ... Oh, are you? I thought you said you'd given it up ... Another nineteenshillings' worth? Well, here's luck, anyway ... Yes, of course. But Idaren't hope ... Good-bye. " She replaced the receiver and turned to me. "Katharine's going to start advertising again. "

"Is she?" I grunted. "Well, I'll bet she doesn't beat this. Listen. 

_COOK, capable, experienced, is offered for three months abnormal wages, every luxury and a leisurely existence: electric cooker: constant hotwater: kitchen-maid: separate bedroom: servants' hall: late breakfast:town and country: followers welcomed. --Mrs. Pleydell, 7, CholmondeleyStreet, Mayfair: 'Phone, Mayfair 9999. "_

"That's the style, " said Berry. "Let me know when it's going to appear, and I'll get a bedroom at the Club. When you've weeded the best out ofthe first hundred thousand, I'll come back and give the casting vote. "

From behind, my sister put her arms about my neck and laid her softcheek against mine. 

"My dear, " she murmured, "I daren't. Half the cooks in England wouldleave their situations. "

"So much the better, " said I. "All's fair in love and war. I don't knowwhich this is, but we'll call it 'love' and chance it. Besides, " I addedcunningly, "we must knock out Katharine. "

The light of battle leapt into my sister's eyes. Looking at it from herpoint of view, I realized that my judgment had been ill-considered. Plainly it was not a question of love, but of war--"and that mostdeadly. " She drew her arms from my neck and stood upright. 

"Couldn't you leave out my name and just put 'Box So-and-so'?"

I shook my head. 

"That's so intangible. Besides, I think the telephone number's a greatwheeze. " Thoughtfully she crossed to the fireplace and lighted acigarette. "I'll send it to-morrow, " I said. 

Suddenly the room was full of silvery laughter. 

From Berry's side at the writing-table Jill looked up sparkling. 

"Listen to this, " she said, holding up the letter which mybrother-in-law had just completed. 

_DEAR BROTHER, _

_Incompetent bungler though you are, and bitter as has been myexperience of your gaucherie in the past, I am once again about to provewhether out of the dunghill of inefficiency which, with unconscioushumour, you style your 'mind' there can be coaxed a shred of reliabilityand understanding. _

_It is within your knowledge that some three weeks ago this householdwas suddenly deprived of the services of its cook. This out of a clearsky and, if we may believe the police, in one of those unchartedpurlieus which shroud in mystery the source of the Cromwell Road. Afterfour lean days your gluttonous instincts led you precipitately towithdraw to Paris, from whence, knowing your unshakable belief in thevilest forms of profligacy, I appreciate that lack of means must erelong enforce your return. _

_Therefore I write. _

_For twenty-two unforgettable sultry days we have endured the ghastlypleasantries of charwomen, better qualified to victual the lower animalsthan mankind. To call the first meal "breakfast" is sheer blasphemy:lunch is a hollow mockery: dinner, the abomination of desolation. I dowhat I can with grape-nuts and the gas-stove in the bathroom, but theresult is unhappy, and last night the milk was too quick for me. _

_I therefore implore you to collect a cook in Paris without delay. Bringit with you when you come, or, better still, send it in advance, carriage paid. Luxury shall be heaped upon it. Its slightest whim shallbe gratified, and it shall go to "the movies" at my expense, whenever Iam sent tickets. Can generosity go further? Wages no object: fare paidback to Paris as soon as Mrs. Mason's leg can carry her. _

_Brother, I beseech you, take immediate action. The horror of our plightcannot be exaggerated. Do something--anything. Misrepresent facts, corrupt honesty, suborn the faithful, but--procure a cook. _

_My maw reminds me that it is the hour of grape-nuts, so I must go. _

_BERRY. _

_P. S. --If you can't raise one, I shouldn't come back. Just go to somehigh place and quietly push yourself off. It will be simpler and avoid ascene which would be painful to us both. _

"That's rather worse than the advertisement, " said Daphne. "But, asJonah is accustomed to your Interpretation of the art of letter-writing, I suppose it doesn't much matter. "

"When, " said Berry, "you are making yourself sick upon _tête de veau entortue_ and _crêpes Suzette_, I shall remind you of those idle words. "

 * * * * *

The advertisement appeared for the first time on Thursday morning. 

As I entered the dining-room at half-past nine--

"It's in, " said Jill. "On the front page. "

"Yes, " said Berry, "it's most arresting. Applicants will arrive from allover the kingdom. It's inevitable. Nothing can stop them. Old andtrusted retainers will become unsettled. The domestic upheaval will beunparalleled. "

I read the advertisement through. In cold print my handiwork certainlylooked terribly alluring. Then I laid down the paper and strolled to thewindow. It had been raining, but now the sun was out, and the cool freshair of the June morning was sweet and winsome. As I looked into theglistening street--

"It's a bit early yet, " continued Berry. "Give 'em a chance. I shouldthink they'll start about ten. I wonder how far the queue will reach, "he added reflectively. "I hope the police take it past The AlbertMemorial. Then they can sit on the steps. "

"Nonsense, " said I a little uneasily. "We may get an answer or twoto-morrow. I think we shall. But cooks are few and far between. "

"They won't be few and they'll be anything but far between by twelveo'clock. " He tapped the provocative paragraph with an accusing finger. "This is a direct incitement to repair to 7, Cholmondeley Street, or asnear thereto as possible----"

"I wish to goodness we hadn't put it in, " said Daphne. 

"It's done now, " said her husband, "and we'd better get ready. I'll turnthem down in the library, you can stand behind the what-not in thedrawing-room and fire them from there, and Boy'd better go down thequeue with some oranges and a megaphone, and keep on saying we're suitedright up to the last. "

In silence I turned to the sideboard. It was with something of an effortthat I helped myself to a thick slab of bacon which was obviously buthalf-cooked. From the bottom of a second dish a black and white egg, with a pale green yoke, eyed me with a cold stare. With a shudder Icovered it up again.... After all, we did want a cook, and if we werebombarded with applications for the post, the probability of getting agood one was the more certain. 

As I took my seat--

"Is Katharine's advertisement in?" I asked. 

My sister nodded. 

"She's put her telephone number, too. "

"Has she? She will be mad when she sees we've had the same idea. "

"Ah, " said Berry. "I'd forgotten the telephone. That's anothervulnerable spot. I shouldn't wonder if----"

The sentence was never finished. 

The hurried stammer of the telephone bell made a dramatic irruption, andJill, who was in the act of drinking, choked with excitement. 

In silence we listened, to be quite sure. A second prolonged vibrationleft no room for doubt. 

"They're off, " said Berry. 

"I--I feel quite nervous, " said Daphne. "Let Falcon answer it. "

But Jill was already at the door.... 

Breathlessly we awaited her return. 

Nobby, apparently affected by the electricity with which the air wascharged, started to relieve his feelings by barking stormily. Thenervous outburst of reproof which greeted his eloquence was sounexpectedly menacing that he retired precipitately beneath the table, his small white tail clapped incontinently between his legs. 

The next moment Jill tore into the room. 

"It's a cook!" she cried in a tempestuous whisper. "It's a cook! Shewants to speak to Daphne. It's a trunk call. She's rung up fromTorquay. "

"Torquay!" I cried aghast. "Good Heavens!"

"What did I say?" said Berry. My sister rose in some trepidation. "Twohundred miles is nothing. Have another hunk of toast. It was only madeon Sunday, so I can recommend it. "

Daphne hastened from the room, with Jill twittering at her heels, and insome dudgeon I cut myself a slice of bread. 

Berry turned his attention to the Sealyham. 

"Nobby, my lad, come here. "

Signifying his delight at this restoration to favour by an unusuallyelaborate rotatory movement of his tail, the terrier emerged from hiscover and humbled himself at his patron's feet. The latter picked him upand set him upon his knee. 

"My lad, " he said, "this is going to be a momentous day. Cooks, meet tobe bitten, are due to arrive in myriads. Be ruthless. Spare neither thematron nor the maid. What did Mr. Henry say in 1415?--

This day is call'd the feast of Sealyham:She that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will sit with caution when this day is named. And shudder at the name of Sealyham. She that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the razzle feast her neighbours, And say, 'To-morrow is Saint Sealyham':Then will she strip her hose and show her scars, And say, 'These wounds I had on Nobby's day. 'Old cooks forget; yet all shall be forgot, But she'll remember with a flood of talkWhat feats you did that day. "

Nobby licked his face enthusiastically. 

Then came a swift rush across the hall, and Daphne and Jill pelted intothe room. 

"She's coming up for an interview to-morrow, " panted the latter. "Sixyears in her last place, but the people are going abroad. If we engageher, she can come on Monday. Sixty pounds a year. "

Daphne was beaming. 

"I must say I liked the sound of her. Very respectful she seemed. Hername's rather unusual, but that isn't her fault. Pauline Roper. I fancyshe's by way of being an expert. She's got a certificate from someinstitute of cookery, and her sister's a trained nurse in WelbeckStreet. That's why she wants to be in London. What's the return farefrom Torquay?" she added. "I said I'd pay it, if I took up herreference. "

"Oh, something under five pounds, " said Berry. 

"What!"

"My dear, " said her husband, "if the expenditure of that sum were toensure me a breakfast the very sight of which did not make my gorgerise, I should regard it as a trustee investment. "

Reference to a time-table showed that the price of Pauline Roper'sticket would be two pounds nine shillings and fourpence halfpenny. 

Somewhat to our surprise and greatly to our relief, the day passedwithout another application for the post of cook, personal or otherwise. 

To celebrate the solitary but promising response to our S. O. S. Signal, and the prospect which it afforded of an early deliverance from ourstate, we dined at the _Berkeley_ and went to the play. 

On returning home we found a telegram in the hall. It had been handed inat Paris, and ran as follows:

_Cook called Camille François leaving for Cholmondeley Street to-morrowaaa can speak no English so must be met at Dover aaa boat due 4. 15 aaaJonah. _

 * * * * *

The train roared through Ashford, and Berry looked at his watch. Then hesighed profoundly and began to commune with himself in a low tone. 

"_Mille pardons, madame. Mais vous êtes Camille François? Non? Queldommage! Dix mille pardons. Adieu. _ ... Deuce of a lot of 'milles, 'aren't there? I wonder if there'll be many passengers. And will she comefirst-class, or before the mast? You know, this is a wild mare's chest, and that's all there is to it. We shall insult several hundred women, miss the cook, and probably lose Pauline into the bargain. What did Icome for?"

"Nonsense, " said Jill stoutly. "Jonah's told her to look out for us. "

"I'll bet he never thought I should be fool enough to roll up, so shewon't expect me. As a matter of fact, if he's described any one, he'sprobably drawn a lifelike word-picture of Daphne. "

"It's no good worrying, " said I. "The only thing to do is to addressevery woman who looks in the least like a cook as she steps off thegangway. When we do strike her, Jill can carry on. "

"It's all very well, " said Berry, "but what does a cook look like, orlook least like, or least look like? I suppose you know what you mean. "Jill began to shake with laughter. "She'll probably be all dressed up togive us a treat, and, for all we know, she may have a child with her, and, if she's pretty, it's a hundred to one some fellow will be seeingher off the boat. You can't rule out any one. And to accost strangewomen indiscriminately is simply asking for trouble. Understand this:when I've been knocked down twice, you can count me out. "

This was too much for Jill, who made no further efforts to restrain hermerriment. Fixing her with a sorrowful look, my brother-in-law sank backin his corner with a resigned air. 

Jonah's telegram had certainly complicated matters. 

We had received it too late to prevent the dispatch of the cook whoseservices he had apparently enlisted. After a prolonged discussion we haddecided that, while Daphne must stay and interview Pauline Roper, therest of us had better proceed to Dover with the object of meeting theboat. It was obvious that Jill must go to deal with the immigrant whenthe latter had been identified, but she could not be expected to effectthe identification. I was unanimously chosen for this responsible task, but I refused point-blank to make the attempt single-handed. I arguedwith reason that it was more than one man could do, and that theperformance of what was, after all, a highly delicate operation must beshared by Berry. After a titanic struggle the latter gave in, with theresult that Jill and he and I had left London by the eleven o'clocktrain. This was due to arrive at Dover at two minutes to one, so that weshould have time for lunch and to spare before the boat came in. 

But that was not all. 

The coming of Jonah's _protégée_ made it impossible for my sister toengage Pauline Roper out of hand. Of course the latter might proveimpossible, which, in a way, would simplify the position. If, as wasmore probable, she seemed desirable, the only thing to do was to pay herfare and promise to let her know within twenty-four hours whether wewould engage her or not. That would give us time to discover whetherCamille François was the more promising of the two. 

Whatever happened, it was painfully clear that our engagement of a cookwas going to prove one of the most costly adventures of its kind uponwhich we had ever embarked. 

The train steamed into Dover one minute before its scheduled time, andwe immediately repaired to the Lord Warden Hotel. 

Lunch was followed by a comfortable half-hour in the lounge, after whichwe decided to take the air until the arrival of the packet. 

Perhaps the most famous of the gates of England, Dover has always worn awarlike mien. Less formidable than renowned Gibraltar, there is a lookof grim efficiency about her heights, an air of masked authority aboutthe windy galleries hung in her cold grey chalk, something of Romancompetence about the proud old gatehouse on the Castle Hill. Never inmufti, never in gaudy uniform, Dover is always clad in "service" dress. A thousand threats have made her porterage a downright office, bluntlyperformed. And so those four lean years, that whipped the smile frommany an English hundred, seem to have passed over the grizzled Gate likethe east wind, leaving it scatheless. About herself no change wasvisible. As we leaned easily upon the giant parapet of the AdmiraltyPier, watching the tireless waves dance to the _cappriccio_ of wind andsun, there was but little evidence to show that the portcullis, recentlyhoist, had for four years been down. Under the shadow of the ShakespeareCliff the busy traffic of impatient Peace fretted as heretofore. Thebristling sentinels were gone: no craft sang through the empty air: nodesperate call for labour wearied tired eyes, clawed at strained nerves, hastened the scurrying feet: no longer from across the Straits cameflickering the ceaseless grunt and grumble of the guns. The wondroustales of nets, of passages of arms, of sallies made at dawn--mortalimmortal exploits--seemed to be chronicles of another age. The ways andmeans of War, so lately paramount, were out of sight. As in the daysbefore, the march of Trade and caravan of Pleasure jostled each other inthe Gate's mouth. Only the soldierly aspect of the place remained--Mightin a faded surcoat, her shabby scabbard hiding a loose bright blade.... 

The steamer was up to time. 

When four o'clock came she was well in sight, and at fourteen minutespast the hour the rattle of the donkey-engine came to a sudden stop, anda moment later the gangways were thrust and hauled into their respectivepositions. 

Berry and I stood as close to the actual points of disembarkation asconvenience and discretion allowed, while Jill hovered excitedly in thebackground. 

As the passengers began to descend--

"Now for it, " said my brother-in-law, settling his hat upon his head. "Ifeel extremely nervous and more ill at ease than I can ever remember. Mymind is a seething blank, and I think my left sock-suspender is comingdown. However ... Of course, it is beginning to be forcibly what theycall 'borne in upon' me that we ought to have brought some barbed wireand a turnstile. As it is, we shall miss about two-thirds of them. Here's your chance, " he added, nodding at a stout lady with a greensuit-case and a defiant glare. "I'll take the jug and bottledepartment. "

I had just time to see that the object of his irreverence was an angularfemale with a brown paper parcel and a tumbler, when my quarry gained_terra firma_ and started in the direction of the train. 

I raised my hat. 

"_Pardon, madame. Mais vous êtes Camille_----"

"Reeang, " was the discomfiting reply. "Par de baggarge. "

I realized that an offer which I had not made had been rejected, andthat the speaker was not of French descent. 

The sting of the rebuff was greatly tempered by the reception with whichBerry's advances were met. 

I was too late to hear what he had said, but the resentment which hisattempt had provoked was disconcertingly obvious. 

After fixing my brother-in-law with a freezing stare, his addresseeturned as from an offensive odour and invested the one word she thoughtfit to employ with an essence of loathing which was terrible to hear. 

"Disgusting!"

Berry shook his head. 

"The right word, " he said, "was 'monstrous. '"

He turned to accost a quiet-looking girl wearing an oil-silk gaberdineand very clearly born upon the opposite side of the Channel. 

With a sigh, I addressed myself to a widow with a small boy clad in a_pélérine_. To my embarrassment she proved to be deaf, but when I hadstumblingly repeated my absurd interrogation, she denied the impeachmentwith a charming smile. During our exchange of courtesies the child stoodstaring at me with a finger deep in his mouth. At their conclusion hewithdrew this and pointed it directly at my chin. 

"_Pourquoi s'est-il coupé, maman?_" he demanded in a piercing treble. 

The question was appropriate, but unanswerable. 

His mother lugged him incontinently away. 

Berry was confronting one of the largest ladies I have ever seen. As hebegan to speak, she interrupted him. 

"_Vous êtes Meestair Baxtair, n'est-ce pas? Ah, c'est bien ça. J'avaissi peur de ne pas vous trouver. Mais maintenant je suis tranquille. Monmari me suit. Ah, le voilà!_" She turned about, the better to beckon toa huge man with two bags and a hold-all. "_Pierre! Pierre_!"

Beneath the avalanche of good-will Berry stood paralysed. 

Recognizing that something must be done, I sought to interfere. 

"Leave me alone, " said Berry weakly. "I've--I've got off. "

It took all my energy and most of my French to convince his _vis-à-vis_that she was mistaken. 

During the interlude about fifteen "possibles" escaped us. 

I threw a despairing glance in Jill's direction, wiped the sweat from mybrow, and returned to the attack. 

After four more failures my nerve began to go. Miserably I turned to mybrother-in-law. 

He was in the act of addressing a smart-looking girl in black, bearing abrand-new valise and some wilting roses. 

Before she had had time to appreciate his inquiry there was a chokingyell from the gangway, and a very dark gentleman, with an Italian castof countenance, thrust his explosive way on to the pier. 

My knowledge of his native tongue was limited to _carissimo, spaghetti_, and one or two musical directions, but from the vehemence of his toneand the violence of his dramatic gestures it was plain that the torrentwhich foamed from his lips was both menacing and abusive. From the shapeof the case which he was clutching beneath his left arm, I judged him tobe an exponent of the guitar. 

Advancing his nose to within an inch and a half of Berry's chin heblared and raved like a maniac, alternately pointing to his shrinking_protegée_ and indicating the blue vault of heaven with frightfulemphasis. 

Berry regarded him unperturbed. As he paused for breath--

"In answer to your observations, " he said, "I can only say that I am nota Mormon and have absolutely no connection with Salt Lake City. I mayadd that, if you are partial to garlic, it is a taste which I have neveracquired. In conclusion, I hope that, before you reach the platform forwhich you are apparently making, you will stumble over one of theridiculously large rings with which the quay is so generously provided, and will not only suffer the most hideous agony, but remain permanentlylame as a result of your carelessness. "

The calm dignity with which he delivered this speech had an almostmagical effect upon the jealous Latin. His bluster sank suddenly anddied. Muttering to himself and staring at Berry as at a wizard, heseized the girl by the arm and started to move rapidly away, wide-eyedand ill at ease.... With suppressed excitement and the tail of my eye, Iwatched him bear down upon one of the stumbling-blocks to which Berryhad referred. The accuracy with which he approached it was almostuncanny. I found myself standing upon one leg.... The screech of anguishwith which he hailed the collision, no less than the precipitancy withwhich he dropped the guitar, sat down and began to rock himself to andfro, was irresistibly gratifying. 

The muscles about Berry's mouth twitched. 

"So perish all traitors, " he said. "And now I don't know how you feel, but I've had about enough of this. My nerves aren't what they were. Something may snap any minute. "

With one accord we proceeded to rejoin Jill, who had been witnessing ourhumiliations from a safe distance, and was dabbing her grey eyes with aridiculous handkerchief. 

As we came up, she started forward and pointed a trembling finger in thedirection of the boat. Berry and I swung on our heels. 

Looking very well, Jonah was descending the gangway with a bored air. 

My brother-in-law and I stared at him as at one risen from the dead. Almost at once he saw us and waved airily.... A moment later he limpedto where we were standing and kissed his sister. 

"I had an idea some of you'd turn up, " he said coolly. 

Berry turned to me. 

"You hear?" he said grimly. "He had an idea some of us'd turn up. Anidea ... I suppose a little bird told him. Oh, take me away, somebody, and let me die. Let me have one last imitation meal, and die. Where dothey sell wild oats?"

Jonah disregarded the interruption. 

"At the last moment, " he said calmly, "I felt there might be somemix-up, so I came along too. " He turned and nodded at a nervous littleman who was standing self-consciously a few paces away and, as I nowobserved for the first time, carrying my cousin's dressing-case. "That, "he added, "is Camille. "

His momentous announcement rendered us speechless. At length--

"You--you mean to say, " I gasped, "that--that it's a man?"

Jonah shrugged his shoulders. 

"Look at his trousers, " he said. 

"But--but of course we expected a woman, " cried Jill in a choking voice. "We can't have a _chef_. "

"Nothing, " said Jonah, "was said about sex. "

Berry spoke in a voice shaken with emotion. 

"A man, " he said. "A he-cook, called 'Camille. ' And it actually occurredto you that 'there might be some mix-up. ' You know, your intuition ispositively supernatural. And it is for this, " he added bitterly, "that Ihave dissipated in ten crowded minutes a reputation which it has takenyears to amass. It is for this that I have deliberately insulted severalrespectable ladies, jeopardized the _Entente Cordiale_, and invitedpersonal violence of a most unpleasant character. To do this I shallhave travelled about a hundred and fifty miles, with the shadetemperature at ninety, and lost what would have been an undoubtedlypleasant and possibly extremely fruitful day at Sandown Park. Don't beafraid. I wouldn't touch you for worlds. You're being reserved for somevery special form of dissolution, you are. She-bears, or something. Ishould avoid woods, any way. And now I'm going home. To-morrow I shallstart on a walking tour, with a spare sock and some milk chocolate, andtry to forget. If that fails, I shall take the snail--I mean the veil. "

He turned on his heel and stalked haughtily in the direction of the boattrain. 

Gurgling with merriment, Jill laid a hand on my arm. 

"Daphne will simply scream, " she said. 

"If this little stunt has cost us Pauline, " said I, "she won't leave itat that. "

We turned to follow my brother-in-law. 

Jonah beckoned to Camille. 

"_Venez. Restez près de moi, _" he said. 

On arriving at Charing Cross we left Jonah and the cook to weather theCustoms, and drove straight to Cholmondeley Street. 

As we entered the hall, my sister came flying out of the library. 

"Hello, " she cried, "where's the cook? Don't say----"

Berry uncovered. 

"_Pardon, madame, _" he said, "_mais vous êtes Camille Franç_----That'syour cue. Now you say 'Serwine!' Just like that. 'Serwine!' Put all theloathing you can into it--you'll find it can hold quite a lot--and fixme with a glassy eye. Then I blench and break out Into a cold sweat. Oh, it's a great game. "

"Poor old chap, " said Daphne. "It must have been awful. But haven't yougot her?"

"It's a he!" cried Jill, squeaking with excitement. "It's a he. Jonah'sbringing him----"

"A _what_?" said my sister, taking a pace backward. 

"A male, " said I. "You know. Like Nobby. Separate legs, and shaves onThursdays. "

"Do you mean to say that it's a _chef_?"

I nodded. 

My sister collapsed into a convenient chair and closed her eyes. Presently she began to shake with laughter. 

"It is droll, isn't it?" said Berry. "People wouldn't believe it. Fancytravelling a hundred and fifty miles to molest a lot of strange women, and then finding that for all the good you've done you might as wellhave spent the day advertising for 'The Lost Chord. '"

My sister pulled herself together. 

"Thank goodness, I had the sense to engage Pauline, " she announced. "Something told me I'd better. But I waited before taking up herreference, on the off-chance of this one being a marvel. Where is thewretched man?"

"Jonah fetched up with him. He's stayed behind because of the Customs. They ought to be here any minute. "

"Well, there's no place for him to sleep here, " said Daphne. "Fitch willhave to look after him for tonight, and to-morrow he'll have to goback. "

Berry looked at his watch. 

"Five past seven, " he said. "As the blighter's here, why not let himsub-edit the dinner to-night? It'll shorten his life, but it may saveours. You never know. "

My sister hesitated. Then--

"He'll never do it, " she said. "I can suggest it, but, if he's anythingof a cook, he'll go off the deep end at once. "

"And give notice, " said I. "Well, that's exactly what we want. Then weshan't have to fire him. He can just push off quietly to-morrow, Paulinewill roll up on Monday, and everything will be lovely in the garden. "

"That's it, " said Berry. "If he consents, well and good. If he declines, so much the better. It's a blinkin' certainty. Whichever happens, wecan't lose. "

"All right, " said Daphne. "I shall make Jonah tell him. "

It took Jonah and M. François longer to satisfy the officers of HisMajesty's Customs and Excise than we had anticipated, and I had consumeda much-needed whisky and soda and was on the way to the bathroom when Iheard them arrive. 

Before I had completed a leisurely toilet, it was all over. 

As we waited in the lounge of the _Carlton_ Grill for a table, which wehad been too late to reserve, my sister related the circumstances whichhad led to the _débâcle_. 

"The wretched little man didn't seem to take to the idea of starting inright away, but I explained that he needn't do any more than just runhis eye over the _menu_, and that, as they were going to have the samedinner in the servants' hall, it really only amounted to looking afterhis own food. 

"Then I sent for Falcon, explained things, and told him to look afterthe man this evening, and that I was making arrangements for him to staywith Fitch over the garage. Then I had Mrs. Chapel up. "

"That, I take it, " said Berry, "is the nymph lately responsible for thepreparation of our food?"

Daphne nodded. 

"I told her about François, and that, as he was here, he would help herwith dinner to-night. I said he was very clever, and all that sort ofthing, and that I wanted her to show him what she was cooking, andlisten to any suggestions he had to make. "

"I suppose you added that he couldn't speak a word of English, " said herhusband. 

"Be quiet, " said Daphne. "Besides, he can. Several words. Any way, shedidn't seem over-pleased, but, as Pauline's coming on Monday, thatdidn't worry me. So I sent her away, and rang up Fitch and told him hemust fix the Frenchman up for the night. "

"Did he seem over-pleased?"

"I didn't wait to hear. I just rang off quick. Then I went up to dress. The next thing I knew was that they'd tried to murder each other, andthat Camille had bitten William, and Nobby'd bitten Camille. I don'tsuppose we shall ever know exactly what happened. "

So far as we had been able to gather from the butler, who hadimmediately repaired to Daphne's room for instructions, and waslabouring under great excitement, my sister's orders had been butgrudgingly obeyed. Mrs. Chapel had been ill-tempered and obstructive, and had made no attempt to disguise her suspicion of the _chef_. Thelatter had consequently determined to be as nasty as the circumstancesallowed, had eyed her preparations for dinner with a marked contempt, and had communed visibly and audibly with himself in a manner which itwas impossible to mistake. Finally he had desired to taste the soupwhich she was cooking. Poor as his English was, his meaning wasapparent, but the charwoman had affected an utter inability tounderstand what he said. This had so much incensed the Frenchman thatthe other servants had intervened and insisted on Mrs. Chapel'scompliance with his request. With an ill grace she snatched the lid fromthe saucepan.... 

Everything was now in train for a frightful explosion. In bitterness thefuse had been laid, the charge of passion was tamped, the detonator ofspleen was in position. Only a match was necessary.... 

Camille François, however, preferred to employ a torch. 

After allowing the fluid to cool, the Frenchman--by this time thecynosure of sixteen vigilant eyes--introduced a teaspoonful into hismouth.... 

The most sanguine member of his audience was hardly expecting him tocommend the beverage. Mrs. Chapel herself must have felt instinctivelythat no man born of woman would in the circumstances renounce such amagnificent opportunity of "getting back. " Nobody, however, wasapparently prepared for so vigorous and dramatic an appreciation of thedainty. 

For the space of two seconds the _chef_ held it cupped in his mouth. Then with an expression of deadly loathing, intensified by a horriblesquint, he expelled the liquid on to the kitchen floor. Ignoring thegasp which greeted his action, he was observed to shrug his shoulders. 

"I veep my eyes, " he announced, "for ze pore pig. "

Here the steady flood of the butler's narrative became excusably brokeninto the incoherence of rapids and the decent reticence of disappearingfalls. Beyond the fact that Mrs. Chapel had swung twice to the jaw, andthat Camille had replied with an ineffectual kick before they weredragged screaming apart, few details of the state of pandemonium thatensued came to our ears. I imagine that a striking _tableau vivant_somewhat on the lines of Meissonier's famous painting was unconsciouslyimprovised. That three maids hardly restrained Mrs. Chapel, that thefootman who sought to withhold Camille was bitten for his pains by thenow ravening Frenchman, that the latter was only saved from thecommission of a still more aggravated assault by the timely arrival ofthe butler, that Nobby, attracted by the uproar, contributed to theconfusion first by barking like a demoniac and then by inflicting apunctured wound upon the calf of the alien's leg, we learned more byinference and deduction than by direct report. That our impending mealwould be more than usually unappetizing was never suggested. That wassurmise upon our part, pure and simple. The conviction, however, was sostrong that the repast was cancelled out of hand. 

Mrs. Chapel was dismissed and straitly charged never to return. Camillewas placed in the custody of the chauffeur and escorted to the latter'srooms above the garage, to be returned to France upon the followingmorning. Nobby was commended for his discrimination. Jonah was reviled. 

All this, however, took time. The respective dismissal and disposal ofthe combatants were not completed until long past eight, and it wasalmost nine before we sat down to dinner. 

"I think, " said Daphne faintly, "I should like some champagne. "

Berry ordered the wine. 

It was abnormally hot, and the doors that were usually closed were setwide open. 

From the street faint snatches of a vibrant soprano came knocking at ourtired ears. 

Mechanically we listened. 

"_When you come to the end of a perfect day.... "_

Berry turned to me. 

"They must have seen us come in, " he said. 

 * * * * *

It was with a grateful heart that I telegraphed the first thing onSaturday morning to Mrs. Hamilton Smythe of Fair Lawns, Torquay, asking_pro forma, _ whether Pauline Roper, now in her service, was sober, honest and generally to be recommended to be engaged as cook. 

As she had been for six years with the lady, and was only leavingbecause the latter was quitting England to join her husband in Ceylon, it was improbable that the reference would be unflattering. Moreover, Daphne had taken to her at once. Well-mannered, quiet, decently attiredand respectful, she was obviously a long way superior to the ordinarymaid. Indeed, she had admitted that her father, now dead, had been aclergyman, and that she should have endeavoured to obtain a position asgoverness if, as a child, she had received anything better than therudest education. She had, she added, been receiving fifty pounds ayear. Hesitatingly she had inquired whether, since the employment wasonly temporary, we should consider an increase of ten pounds a yearunreasonable. 

"Altogether, " concluded my sister, "a thoroughly nice-feeling woman. Ioffered her lunch, but she said she was anxious to try and see hersister before she caught her train back, so she didn't have any. Ialmost forgot to give her her fare, poor girl. In fact, she had toremind me. She apologized very humbly, but said the journey to Londonwas so terribly expensive that she simply couldn't afford to let itstand over. "

We had lunched at Ranelagh, and were sitting in a quiet corner of thepleasant grounds, taking our ease after the alarms and excursions of theday before. 

Later on we made our way to the polo-ground. 

Almost the first person we saw was Katharine Festival. 

"Hurray, " said Daphne. "I meant to have rung her up last night, but whatwith the Camille episode and dining out I forgot all about it. When Itell her we're suited, she'll be green with envy. "

Her unsuspecting victim advanced beaming. Being of the opposite sex, Ifelt sorry for her. 

"Daphne, my dear, " she announced, "I meant to have rung you up lastnight. I've got a cook. "

The pendulum of my emotions described the best part of a semicircle, andI felt sorry for Daphne. 

"I am glad, " said my sister, with an audacity which took my breath away. "How splendid! So've we. "

"Hurray, " said Katharine, with a sincerity which would have deceived adiplomat. "Don't you feel quite strange? I can hardly believe it'sreally happened. Mine rejoices in the name of Pauline, " she added. 

I started violently, and Berry's jaw dropped. 

"_Pauline?_" cried Daphne and Jill. 

"Yes, " said Katharine. "It's a queer name for a cook, but----What's thematter?"

"But so's ours! Ours is Pauline! What's her other name?"

"Roper, " cried Katharine breathlessly. 

"Not from Torquay?"--in a choking voice. 

Katharine nodded and put a trembling handkerchief to her lips. 

"I paid her fare, " she said faintly. "It came to----"

"Two pounds nine and four pence halfpenny, " said my sister. "I gave hertwo pounds ten. "

"So did I, " said Katharine. "She was to come on--on Monday. "

"Six years in her last place?" said Daphne shakily

"Yes. And a clergyman's daughter, " wailed Katharine. 

"Did--did you take up her reference?"

"Wired last night, " was the reply. 

In silence I brought two chairs, and they sat down. 

"But--but, " stammered Jill, "she spoke from Torquay on Wednesday. "

"Did she?" said Berry. "I wonder. "

"Yes, " said Katharine. "She did. "

"You know she did, " said Daphne and Jill. 

"Who, " said I, "answered the telephone?"

"My parlourmaid did, " said Katharine. 

"And Jill answered ours, " said I. Then I turned to my cousin. "When youtook off the receiver, " I asked, "what did you hear?"

"I remember perfectly, " said Jill. "Exchange asked if we were Mayfair9999 and then said, 'You're through to a call-office. ' Then Paulinespoke. "

"Precisely, " said I. "But not from Torquay. In that case Exchange wouldhave said, 'Torquay wants you, ' or 'Exeter, ' or something. Our Paulinerang up from London. She took a risk and got away with it. "

"I feel dazed, " said Daphne, putting a hand to her head. "There must besome mistake. I can't believe----"

"'A thoroughly nice-feeling woman, '" said Berry. "I think I should feelnice if I could make five pounds in two hours by sitting on the edge ofa chair and saying I was a clergyman's daughter. And now what are wegoing to do? Shall we be funny and inform the police? Or try and stopCamille at Amiens?"

"Now, don't you start, " said his wife, "because I can't bear it. Jonah, for goodness' sake, get hold of the car, and let's go. "

"Yes, " said Berry. "And look sharp about it. Time's getting on, and Ishould just hate to be late for dinner. Or shall we be reckless and takea table at Lockhart's?"

We drove home in a state of profound melancholy. 

Awaiting our arrival was a "service" communication upon a buff sheet, bluntly addressed to "Pleydell. "

It was the official death-warrant of an unworthy trust. 

_Sir, _

_I beg leave to inform you that your telegram handed in at the GrosvenorStreet Post Office at 10. 2 a. M. On the 26th June addressed to Reply paidHamilton Smythe Fair Lawns Torquay has not been delivered for the reasonindicated below. _

_ADDRESS NOT KNOWN. _

_I am, Sir, _

_Your obedient Servant, _

_W. B. , _

_Postmaster. _

CHAPTER VIII

HOW JILL SLEPT UNDISTURBED, AND NOBBY ATTENDED CHURCH PARADE. 

"What d'you do, " said Berry, "when you want to remember something?"

"Change my rings, " said Daphne. "Why?"

"I only wondered. D'you find that infallible?"

My sister nodded. 

"Absolutely, " she said. "Of course, I don't always remember what I'vechanged them for, but it shows me there's something I've forgotten. "

"I see. Then you've only got to remember what that is, and there youare. Why don't I wear rings?"

"Change your shoes instead, " said I drowsily. "Or wear your waistcoatnext to your skin. Then, whenever you want to look at your watch, you'llhave to undress. That'll make you think. "

"You go and change your face, " said Berry. "Don't wait for something toremember. Just go and do it by deed-poll. And then advertise it in _TheTimes_. You'll get so many letters of gratitude that you'll get tired ofanswering them. "

Before I could reply to this insult--

"I suppose, " said my sister, "this means that you can't remembersomething which concerns me and really matters. "

In guilty silence her husband prepared a cigar for ignition with theutmost care. At length--

"I wouldn't go as far as that, " he said. "But I confess that at the backof my mind, in, as it were, the upper reaches of my memory, there is afaint ripple of suggestion for which I cannot satisfactorily account. Now, isn't that beautifully put?"

With a look of contempt, Daphne returned to the digestion of a letterwhich she had that morning received from the United States. ReflectivelyBerry struck a match and lighted his cigar. I followed the example ofJill and began to doze. 

With the exception of Jonah, who was in Somerset with the Fairies, wehad been to Goodwood. I had driven the car both ways and was healthilytired, but the long ride had rendered us all weary, and the prospect ofa full night and a quiet morrow was good to contemplate. 

On the following Tuesday we were going out of Town. Of this we were allunfeignedly glad, for London was growing stale. The leaves upon hertrees were blown and dingy, odd pieces of paper crept here and thereinto her parks, the dust was paramount. What sultry air there was seemedto be second-hand. Out of the pounding traffic the pungent reek of oiland fiery metal rose up oppressive. Paint three months old was seamedand freckled. Look where you would, the silver sheen of Spring was dulland tarnished, the very stones were shabby, and in the summer sunshineeven proud buildings of the smartest streets wore but a jaded look andlost their dignity. The vanity of bricks stood out in bold reliefunsightly, dressing the gentle argument of Nature with such authority asset tired senses craving the airs and graces of the countryside andmourning the traditions of the children of men. 

"Adèle, " said Daphne suddenly, "is sailing next week. "

"Hurray, " said Jill, waking up. 

"Liverpool or Southampton?" said I. 

"She doesn't say. But I told her to come to Southampton. "

"I expect she's got to take what she can get; only, when you're makingfor Hampshire, it seems a pity to go round by the Mersey. "

"I like Adèle, " said Berry. "She never seeks to withstand that feelingof respect which I inspire. When with me, she recognizes that she is inthe presence of a holy sage, and, as it were, treading upon hallowedground. Woman, " he added, looking sorrowfully upon his wife, "I couldwish that something of her piety were there to lessen your corruption. Poor vulgar shrew, I weep----"

"She says something about you, " said Daphne, turning over a sheet. "Hereyou are. _Give Berry my love. If I'd been with you at Oxford, when hegot busy, I should just have died. All the same, you must admit he's ascream. I'm longing to see Nobby. He sounds as if he were a dog of realcharacter.... _"

"Thank you, " said her husband, with emotion. "Thank you very much. 'Ascream, ' I think you said. Yes. And Nobby, 'a dog of character. ' I can'tbear it. "

"So he is, " said I. "Exceptional character. "

"I admit, " said Berry, "he's impartial. His worst enemy can't deny that. His offerings at the shrine of Gluttony are just as ample as those helays before the altar of Sloth. "

"All dogs are greedy, " said Jill. "It's natural. And you'd be tired, ifyou ran about like him. "

"He's useful and ornamental and diverting, " said I. "I don't know whatmore you want. "

"Useful?" said Berry, with a yawn. "Useful? Oh, you mean scavenging? Butthen you discourage him so. Remember that rotten fish in Brook Streetthe other day? Well, he was making a nice clean job of that, he was, when you stopped him. "

"That was a work of supererogation. I maintain, however, that nobody canjustly describe Nobby as a useless dog. For instance----"

The sudden opening of the door at once interrupted and upheld mycontention. 

Into the room bustled the Sealyham, the personification of importance, with tail up, eyes sparkling, and gripped in his large mouth the letterswhich had just been delivered by the last post. 

As the outburst of feminine approval subsided--

"Out of his own mouth, " said I, "you stand confuted. "

Either of gallantry or because her welcome was the more compelling, theterrier made straight for my sister and pleasedly delivered his burdeninto her hands. Of the three letters she selected two and then, makingmuch of the dog, returned a foolscap envelope to his jaws and instructedhim to bear it to Berry. Nobby received it greedily, but it was onlywhen he had simultaneously spun into the air, growled and, placing anemphatic paw upon the projecting end, torn the letter half-way asunder, that it became evident that he was regarding her return of the missiveas a _douceur_ or reward of his diligence. 

With a cry my brother-in-law sprang to enlighten him; but Nobby, hailinghis action as the first move in a game of great promise, darted out ofhis reach, tore round the room at express speed, and streaked into thehall. 

By dint of an immediate rush to the library door, we were just in timeto see Berry slip on the parquet and, falling heavily, miss the terrierby what was a matter of inches, and by the time we had helped oneanother upstairs, the medley of worrying and imprecations which emanatedfrom Daphne's bedroom made it clear that the quarry had gone to ground. 

As we drew breath in the doorway--

"Get him from the other side!" yelled Berry, who was lying flat on hisface, with one arm under the bed. "Quick! It may be unsporting, but Idon't care. A-a-ah!" His voice rose to a menacing roar, as the rendingof paper became distinctly audible. "Stop it, you wicked swine! D'youhear? _Stop it!_"

From beneath the bed a further burst of mischief answered him.... 

Once again feminine subtlety prevailed where the straightforward effortsof a man were fruitless. As I flung myself down upon the opposite sideof the bed--

"Nobby, " said Jill in a stage whisper, "chocolates!"

The terrier paused in his work of destruction. Then he dropped themangled remains of the letter and put his head on one side. 

"Chocolates!"

The next second he was scrambling towards the foot of the bed.... 

I gathered together the _débris_ and rose to my feet. 

Nobby was sitting up in front of Jill, begging irresistibly. 

"What a shame!" said the latter. "And I haven't any for you. And if Ihad, I mightn't give you them. " She looked round appealingly. "Isn't hecute?"

"Extraordinary how that word'll fetch him, " said I. "I think his latemistress must have----"

"I'm sure she must, " said Berry, taking the ruins of his correspondenceout of my hand. "Perhaps she also taught him to collect stamps. And / orcrests. And do you mean to say you've got no chocolates for him? Howshameful! I'd better run round and knock up Gunter's. Shall I slip on acoat, or will the parquet do?"

"There's no vice in him, " I said shakily. "It was a misunderstanding. "

With an awful look Berry gingerly withdrew from what remained of theenvelope some three-fifths of a dilapidated dividend warrant, whichlooked as if it had been immersed in water and angrily disputed by anumber of rats. 

"It's--it's all right, " I said unsteadily. "The company'll give youanother. "

"Give me air, " said Berry weakly. "Open the wardrobe, somebody, and giveme air. You know, this is the violation of Belgium over again. Thelittle angel must have been the mascot of a double-breasted Jaegerbattalion in full blast. " With a shaking finger he indicated the cheque. "Bearing this in mind, which would you say he was to-night--useful orornamental?"

"Neither the one, nor the other, " said I. "Merely diverting. "

Expectantly my brother-in-law regarded the ceiling. 

"I wonder what's holding it, " he said. "I suppose the whitewash hasseized. And now, if you'll assist me downstairs and apply the usualrestoratives, I'll forgive you the two pounds I owe you. There's aletter I want to write before I retire. "

Half an hour later the following letter was dispatched--

_SIR, _

_The enclosed are, as a patient scrutiny will reveal, the remains of adividend warrant in my favour for seventy-two pounds five shillings. _

_Owing to its dilapidation, which you will observe includes the totalloss of the date, signature and stamp, I am forced to the reluctantconclusion that your bankers will show a marked disinclination to honourwhat was once a valuable security. _

_Its reduction to the lamentable condition in which you now see it isdue to the barbarous treatment it received at the teeth and claws of adog or hound which, I regret to say, has recently frequented this houseand is indubitably possessed of a malignant devil. _

_In fairness to myself I must add, first, that it was through noimprovidence on my part that the domestic animal above referred toobtained possession of the document, and, secondly, that I made suchdesperate efforts to recover it intact as resulted in my sustaining afall of considerable violence upon one of the least resilient floors Ihave ever encountered. If you do not believe me, your duly accreditedrepresentative is at liberty to inspect the many and various contusionsupon my person any day between ten and eleven at the above address. Yours faithfully, _

_etc. _

_P. S. --My cousin-german has just read this through, and says I've leftout something. I think the fat-head is being funny, but I just mentionit, in case. _

_P. P. S. --It's just occurred to me that the fool means I haven't askedyou to send me another one. But you will, won't you?_

 * * * * *

For no apparent reason I was suddenly awake. 

Invariably a sound sleeper, I lay for a moment pondering the phenomenon. Then a low growl from the foot of the bed furnished one explanation onlyto demand another. 

I put up a groping hand and felt for the dangling switch. 

For a moment I fumbled. Then from above my head a deeply-shaded lampflung a sudden restricted light on to the bed. 

I raised myself on an elbow and looked at Nobby. 

His body was still curled, with his small strong legs tucked out ofsight, but his head was raised, and he was listening intently. 

I put my head on one side and did the same.... 

Only the hoot of a belated car faintly disturbed the silence. 

I looked at my wrist-watch. This showed one minute to one. As I raisedmy eyes, an impatient clock somewhere confirmed its tale. 

With a yawn I conjured the terrier to go to sleep and reached for theswitch. 

As I did so, he growled again. 

With my fingers about the "push, " I hesitated, straining my ears.... 

The next moment I was out of bed and fighting my way into mydressing-gown, while Nobby, his black nose clapped to the sill of thedoorway, stood tense and rigid and motionless as death. 

As I picked him up, he began to quiver, and I could feel his heartthumping, but he seemed to appreciate the necessity for silence, andlicked my face noiselessly. 

I switched off the light and opened the door. 

There was a lamp burning on the landing, and I stepped directly to thetop of the stairs. 

Except that there was a faint light somewhere upon the ground floor, Icould see nothing, but, as I stood peering, the sound of a stealthymovement, followed by the low grumble of utterance, rose unmistakably tomy ears. Under my left arm Nobby stiffened notably. 

For a moment I stood listening and thinking furiously.... 

It was plain that there was more than one visitor, for burglars do nottalk to themselves, and Discretion suggested that I should seekassistance before descending. Jonah was out of Town, the men-servantsslept in the basement, the telephone was downstairs. Only Berryremained. 

The faint chink of metal meeting metal and a stifled laugh decided me. 

With the utmost caution I stole to the door of my sister's room andturned the handle. As I glided into the chamber--

"Who's that?" came in a startled whisper. 

Before I could answer, there was a quick rustle, a switch clicked, andthere was Daphne, propped on a white arm, looking at me with wide eyesand parted lips. Her beautiful dark hair was tumbling about her breastand shoulders. Impatiently she brushed it clear of her face. 

"What is it, Boy?"

I laid a finger upon my lips. 

"There's somebody downstairs. Wake Berry. "

Slowly her husband rolled on to his left side and regarded me with oneeye. 

"What, " he said, "is the meaning of this intrusion?"

"Don't be a fool, " I whispered. "The house is being burgled. "

"Gurgled?"

"Burgled, you fool. "

"No such word, " said Berry. "What you mean is 'burglariously rifled. 'And then you're wrong. Why, there's Nobby. "

I could have stamped with vexation. 

My sister took up the cudgels. 

"Don't lie there, " she said. "Get up and see. "

"What?" said her husband. 

"What's going on. "

Berry swallowed before replying. Then--

"How many are there?" he demanded. 

"You poisonous idiot, " I hissed, "I tell you----"

"Naughty temper, " said Berry. "I admit I'm in the wrong but there youare. You see, it all comes of not wearing rings. If I did, I should haveremembered that a wire came from Jonah just before dinner--it's in mydinner-jacket--saying he was coming up late to-night with Harry, andthat if the latter couldn't get in at the Club, he should bring him onhere. He had the decency to add 'Don't sit up. '"

Daphne and I exchanged glances of withering contempt. 

"And where, " said my sister, "is Harry going to sleep?"

Her husband settled himself contentedly. 

"That, " he said drowsily, "is what's worrying me. "

"Outrageous, " said Daphne. Then she turned to me. "It's too late to doanything now. Will you go down and explain? Perhaps he can manage in thelibrary. Unless Jonah likes to give up his bed. "

"I'll do what I can, " I said, taking a cigarette from the box by herside. 

"Oh, and do ask if it's true about Evelyn. "

"Right oh. I'll tell you as I come back. "

"I forbid you, " murmured her husband, "to re-enter this room. "

I kissed my sister, lobbed a novel on to my brother-in-law's back, andwithdrew before he had time to retaliate. Then I stepped barefootdownstairs, to perform my mission. 

With the collapse of the excitement, Nobby's suspicion shrank intocuriosity, his muscles relaxed, and he stopped quivering. So infectiousa thing is perturbation. 

The door of the library was ajar, and the thin strip of light whichissued was enough to guide me across the hall. The parquet was cold tothe touch, and I began to regret that I had not returned for myslippers. 

As I pushed the door open--

"I say, Jonah, " I said, "that fool Berry----"

It was with something of a shock that I found myself looking directlyalong the barrel of a . 45 automatic pistol, which a stout gentleman, wearing a green mask, white kid gloves, and immaculate evening-dress, was pointing immediately at my nose. 

"There now, " he purred. "I was going to say, 'Hands up. ' Just like that. 'Hands up. ' It's so romantic. But I hadn't expected the dog. Suppose youput your right hand up. "

I shook my head. 

"I want that for my cigarette, " I said. 

For a moment we stood looking at one another. Then my fat _vis-à-vis_began to shake with laughter. 

"You know, " he gurgled, "this is most irregular. It's enough to makeJack Sheppard turn in his grave. It is really. However.... As aninveterate smoker, I feel for you. So we'll have a compromise. " Henodded towards an armchair which stood by the window. "You go and sitdown in that extremely comfortable armchair--sit well back--and we won'tsay any more about the hands. "

As he spoke, he stepped forward. Nobby received him with a venomousgrowl, and to my amazement the fellow immediately caressed him. 

"Dogs always take to me, " he added. "I'm sure I don't know why, but it'sa great help. "

To my mortification, the Sealyham proved to be no exception to the rule. I could feel his tail going. 

As in a dream, I crossed to the chair and sat down. As I moved, thepistol moved also. 

"I hate pointing this thing at you, " said the late speaker. "It's sosuggestive. If you'd care to give me your word, you know.... Betweengentlemen.... "

"I make no promises, " I snapped. 

The other sighed. 

"Perhaps you're right, " he said. "Lean well back, please.... That'sbetter. "

The consummate impudence of the rogue intensified the atmosphere ofunreality, which was most distracting. Doggedly my bewildered brain waslabouring in the midst of a litter of fiction, which had suddenlychanged into truth. The impossible had come to pass. The cracksman ofthe novel had come to life, and I was reluctantly witnessing, incomparative comfort and at my own expense, an actual exhibition offelony enriched with all the spices which the cupboard of Sensationcontains. 

The monstrous audacity of the proceedings, and the business-like way inwhich they were conducted, were almost stupefying. 

Most of the silver in the house, including a number of pieces, ourpossession of which I had completely forgotten, seemed to have beencollected and laid in rough order upon rugs, which had been piled oneupon the other to deaden noise. One man was taking it up, piece bypiece, scrutinizing it with an eye-glass such as watchmakers use, anddictating descriptions and particulars to a second, who was seated atthe broad writing-table, entering the details, in triplicate, in a largeorder-book. By his side a third manipulated a pair of scales, weighingeach piece with the greatest care and reporting the result to thesecond, who added the weight to the description. Occasionally the latterpaused to draw at a cigarette, which lay smouldering in the ash-tray byhis side. As each piece was weighed, the third handed it to a fourthassistant, who wrapped it in a bag of green baize and laid it gently inan open suit-case. Four other cases stood by his side, all bearing anumber of labels and more or less the worse for wear. 

All four men were masked and gloved, and working with a rapidity andmethod which were remarkable. With the exception of the packer, who worea footman's livery, they were attired in evening-dress. 

"We find it easier, " said the master, as if interpreting my thoughts, "to do it all on the spot. Then it's over and done with. I do hopeyou're insured, " he added. "I always think it's so much moresatisfactory. "

"Up to the hilt, " said I cheerfully. "We had it all re-valued only thisyear, because of the rise in silver. "

"Splendid!"--enthusiastically. "But I'm neglecting you. " With his lefthand the rogue picked up an ash-tray and stepped to my side. Then hebacked to the mantelpiece, whence he picked up and brought me a handfulof cigarettes, laying them on the broad arm of my chair. "I'm afraid thebox has gone, " he said regretfully. "May I mix you a drink?"

I shook my head. 

"I've had my ration. If I'd known, I'd have saved some. You see, I don'tsit up so late, as a rule. "

He shrugged his shoulders. 

As he did so, my own last words rang familiarly in my ears: "I don't situp so late" ... "Don't sit up. " ... 

Jonah! He and Harry were due to arrive any moment!

Hope leaped up within me, and my heart began to beat violently. Iglanced at the silver, still lying upon the rugs. Slowly it wasdiminishing, and the services of a second suit-case would soon benecessary. I calculated that to complete the bestowal would take thebest part of an hour, and began to speculate upon the course eventswould take when the travellers appeared. I began to pray fervently thatHarry would be unable to get in at the Club.... 

"Now, then, you three, " said a reproving voice. "I'm surprised at you. "

Daphne!

The rogues were trained to a hair. 

Before she was framed in the doorway, the cold steel of another weaponwas pressing against my throat, and the master was bowing in herdirection. 

"Madam, I beg that you will neither move nor cry out. "

My sister stood like a statue. Only the rise and fall of her bosomshowed that she was alive. Pale as death, her eyes riveted on thespeaker, who was holding his right hand markedly behind him, her unboundhair streaming over her shoulders, she made a beautiful and arrestingpicture. A kimono of softest apricot, over which sprawled vividembroideries, here in the guise of parti-coloured dragons, there in thatof a wanton butterfly, swathed her from throat to foot. From the mouthsof its gaping sleeves her shapely wrists and hands thrust out snow-whiteand still as sculpture. 

For a moment all eyes were upon her, as she stood motionless.... Thenthe man with the eye-glass screwed it back into his eye, and resumed hisdictation.... 

The spell was broken. 

The packer left his work and, lifting a great chair bodily with apparentease, set it noiselessly by my side. 

The master bowed again. 

"I congratulate you, madam, upon your great heart. I beg that you willjoin that gentleman. "

With a high head, My Lady Disdain swept to the spot indicated and sankinto the chair. 

"Please lean right back.... Thank you. "

The cold steel was withdrawn from my throat, and I breathed more freely. 

Nobby wriggled to get to my sister, but I held him fast. 

"So it was burglars, " said Daphne. 

"Looks like it, " said I. 

I glanced at the leader, who had taken his seat upon the club-kerb. Hisright hand appeared to be resting upon his knee. 

"I think, " said my sister, "I'll have a cigarette. " I handed her onefrom the pile and lighted it from my own. As I did so--

"_Courage, _" I whispered. "_Jonah ne tardera pas. _"

"I beg, " said the spokesman, "that you will not whisper together. Ittends to create an atmosphere of mistrust. "

My sister inclined her head with a silvery laugh. 

"You have a large staff, " she said. 

"That is my way. I am not a believer in the lone hand. But there youare. _Quot homines, tot sententicæ, "_ and with that, he spread out hishands and shrugged his broad shoulders. 

Daphne raised her delicate eyebrows and blew out a cloud of smoke. 

"'The fewer men, '" she quoted, "'the greater share of--_plunder_. '"

The shoulders began to shake. 

"_Touché, _" was the reply. "A pretty thrust, madam. But you must readfurther on. 'And gentlemen in _Mayfair_ now abed Shall think themselvesaccursed they were not here. ' Shall we say that--er--honours are easy?"And the old villain fairly rocked with merriment. 

Daphne laughed airily. 

"Good for you, " she said. "As a matter of fact, sitting here, severalthings look extremely easy. "

"So, on the whole, they are. Mind you, lookers-on see the easy side. Andyou, madam, are a very privileged spectator. "

"I have paid for my seat, " flashed my sister. 

"Royally. Still, deadhead or not, a spectator you are, and, as such, yousee the easy side. Now, one of the greatest dangers that can befall athief is avarice. "

"I suppose you're doing this out of charity, " I blurted. 

"Listen. Many a promising career of--er--appropriation has come to anabrupt and sordid end, and all because success but whetted where itshould have satisfied. " He addressed my sister. "Happily for you, you donot sleep in your pearls. Otherwise, since you are here, I might havefallen... Who knows? As it is, pearls, diamonds and the emeraldbracelets that came from Prague--you see, madam, I know them all--willlie upstairs untouched. I came for silver, and I shall take nothingelse. Some day, perhaps... "

The quiet sing-song of his voice faded, and only the murmur of theceaseless dictation remained. Then that, too, faltered and died.... 

For a second master and men stood motionless. Then the former pointed toDaphne and me, and Numbers Three and Four whipped to our side. 

Somebody, whistling softly, was descending the stairs.... 

Just as it became recognizable the air slid out of a whistle into asong, and my unwitting brother-in-law invested the last two lines withall the mockery of pathos of which his inferior baritone voice wascapable. 

"I'm for ever b-b-blowing b-b-bub-b-bles, B-blinkin' b-bub-b-bles in the air. "

He entered upon the last word, started ever so slightly at hisreception, and then stood extremely still. 

"Bubbles be blowed, " he said. "B-b-burglars, what? Shall I moisten thelips? Or would you rather I wore a sickly smile? I should like it to bea good photograph. You know, you can't touch me, Reggibald. I'm inbalk. " His eyes wandered round the room. "Why, there's Nobby. And what'sthe game? Musical Chairs? I know a better one than that. " His eyesreturned to the master. "Now, don't you look and I'll hide in thehassock! Then, when I say 'Cuckoo, ' you put down the musket and wish. Then--excuse me. "

Calmly he twitched a Paisley shawl from the back of the sofa and crossedto his wife. Tenderly he wrapped it about her feet and knees. By thetime he had finished a third chair was awaiting him, and Numbers Threeand Four had returned to their work. 

"Pray sit down, " drawled the master. "And lean well back.... That'sright. You know, I'm awfully sorry you left your bed. "

"Don't mention it, " said Berry. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything. How's Dartmoor looking?"

The fat rogue sighed. 

"I have not had a holiday, " he said, "for nearly two years. And nightwork tells, you know. Of course I rest during the day, but it isn't thesame. "

"How wicked! And they call this a free country. I should see your M. P. About it. Or wasn't he up when you called?"

The other shook his head. 

"As a matter of fact, " he said, "he was out of Town. George, give thegentleman a match. " The packer picked up a match-stand and set it byBerry's side. "I'm so sorry about the chocolates. You see, I wasn'texpecting----Hullo!"

At the mention of the magical word Nobby had leapt from my unready graspand trotted across to the fireplace. There, to my disgust and vexation, he fixed the master with an expectant stare, and then sat up upon hishindquarters and begged a sweatmeat. 

His favourer began to heave with merriment. 

"What an engaging scrap!" he wheezed, taking a chocolate from anoccasional table upon which the contents of a dessert dish hadapparently been emptied. "Here, my little apostate.... Well caught!"

With an irrational rapidity the Sealyham disposed of the first comfit hehad been given for more than six months. Then he resumed the attractiveposture which he had found so profitable. Lazily his patron continued torespond.... 

Resentfully I watched the procedure, endeavouring to console myself withthe reflection that in a few hours Nature would assuredly administer tothe backslider a more terrible and appropriate correction than any thatI could devise. 

Would Jonah never come?

I stole a glance at the clock. Five and twenty minutes to two. And whenhe did come, what then? Were he and Harry to blunder into the sloughwaist-high, as we had done? Impossible. There was probably a manoutside--possibly a car, which would set them thinking. Then, even ifthe brutes got away, their game would be spoiled. It wouldn't be such ahumiliating walk-over. Oh, why had Daphne come down? Her presence putany attempt at action out of the question. And why.... 

A taxi slowed for a distant corner and turned into the street. For amoment it seemed to falter. Then its speed was changed clumsily, and itbegan to grind its way in our direction. My heart began to beatviolently. Again the speed was changed, and the rising snarl choked togive way to a metallic murmur, which was rapidly approaching. I couldhardly breathe.... Then the noise swelled up, hung for an instant uponthe very crest of earshot, only to sink abruptly as the cab swept past, taking our hopes with it. 

Two-thirds of the silver had disappeared. 

Berry cleared his throat. 

"You know, " he said, "this is an education. In my innocence I thoughtthat a burglar shoved his swag in a sack and then pushed off, and didthe rest in the back parlour of a beer-house in Notting Dale. As it is, my only wonder is that you didn't bring a brazier and a couple ofmelting-pots. "

"Not my job, " was the reply. "I'm not a receiver. Besides, you don'tthink that all this beautiful silver is to be broken up?" The horror ofhis uplifted hands would have been more convincing if both of them hadbeen empty. "Why, in a very little while, particularly if you travel, you will have every opportunity of buying It back again in open market. "

"But how comic, " said Berry. "I should think you're a favourite atLloyd's. D'you mind if I blow my nose? Or would that be a _casusbelli_?"

"Not at all"--urbanely. "Indeed, if you would care to give me yourword.... "

Berry shook his head. 

"Honour among thieves?" he said. "Unfortunately I'm honest, so you musthave no truck with me. Never mind. D'you touch cards at all? Or only atEpsom?"

Beneath the green mask the mouth tightened, and I could see that thetaunt had gone home. No man likes to be whipped before his underlings. 

Nobby profited by the master's silence, and had devoured two morechocolates before Berry spoke again--this time to me. 

"Gentleman seems annoyed, " he remarked. "I do hope he hasn'tmisconstrued anything I've said. D'you think we ought to offer himbreakfast? Of course, five is rather a lot, but I dare say one of themis a vegetarian, and you can pretend you don't care for haddock. Or theymay have some tripe downstairs. You never know. And afterwards we couldrun them back to Limehouse. By the way, I wonder if I ought to tell himabout the silver which-not. It's only nickel, but I don't want to keepanything back. Oh, and what about the dividend warrant? Of course itwants riveting and--er--forging, and I don't think they'd recognize it, but he could try. If I die before he goes, ask him to leave his address;then, if he leaves anything behind, the butler can send it on. Iremember I left a pair of bed-socks once at Chatsworth. The Duke neversent them on, but then they were perishable. Besides, one of themfollowed me as far as Leicester. Instinct, you know. I wrote to _TheField_ about it. " He paused to shift uneasily in his seat. "You know, ifI have to sustain this pose much longer, I shall get railway spine or ahare lip or something. "

"Hush, " said I. "What did Alfred Austin say in 1895?"

"I know, " said Berry. "'Comrades, leave me here a little, while as yet'tis early morn. ' Precisely. But then all his best work was admittedlydone under the eiderdown. "

The clock upon the wall was chiming the hour. Two o'clock. 

Would Jonah never come?

I fancy the same query renewed its hammering at Berry's brain, for, after a moment's reflection, he turned to the master. 

"I don't wish to presume upon your courtesy, " he said, "but will theexecutive portion of your night's work finish when that remainingtreasure has been bestowed?"

"So far as you are concerned. "

"Oh, another appointment! Of course, this 'summer time' stunt gives youanother hour, doesn't it? Well, I must wish you a warmer welcome. "

"That were impossible, " was the bland reply "Once or twice, I mustconfess, I thought you a little--er, equivocal, but let that pass. Ionly regret that Mrs. Pleydell, particularly, should have been so muchinconvenienced. "

"Don't mention it, " said Berry. "As a matter of fact, we're all verypleased to have met you. You have interested us more than I can say, with true chivalry you have abstained from murder and mutilation, andyou have suffered me to blow my nose, when a less courteous visitorwould have obliged me to sniff with desperate and painful regularity fornearly half an hour. Can generosity go further?"

The rogue upon the club-kerb began to shake with laughter again. 

"You're a good loser, " he crowed. "I'll give you that. I'm quite gladyou came down. Most of my hosts I never see, and that's dull, you know, dull. And those I do are so often--er--unsympathetic. Yes, I shallremember to-night. "

"Going to change his rings, " murmured Berry. 

"And now the highly delicate question of our departure is, I am afraid, imminent. To avoid exciting impertinent curiosity, you will appreciatethat we must take our leave as artlessly as possible, and that the orderof our going must be characterized by no unusual circumstance, such, forinstance, as a hue and cry. Anything so vulgar as a scene must at allcosts be obviated. Excuse me. Blake!"

Confederate Number One stepped noiselessly to his side and listened insilence to certain instructions, which were to us inaudible. 

I looked about me. 

The last of the silver had disappeared. The packer was dismantling thescales as a preliminary to laying them in the last suit-case. The clerkwas fastening together the sheets which he had detached from the flimsyorder-book. Number Three had taken a light overcoat from a chair and wasputting it on. And the time was six minutes past two.... 

And what of Jonah? He and Harry would probably arrive about five minutestoo late. I bit my lip savagely.... 

Again the chief malefactor lifted up his voice. 

"It is my experience, " he drawled, "that temerity is born, if not ofcuriosity, then of ignorance. Now, if there is one vice more thananother which I deplore, it is temerity--especially when it is displayedby a host at two o'clock of a morning. I am therefore going to the rootof the matter. In short, I propose to satisfy your very naturalcuriosity regarding our method of departure, and, incidentally, to showyou exactly what you are up against. You see, I believe in prevention. "His utterance of the last sentences was more silky than ever. 

"The constables who have passed this house since half-past twelve will, if reasonably observant, have noticed the carpet which, upon entering, we laid upon the steps. A departure of guests, therefore, even at thisadvanced hour, should arouse no more suspicion than thelimousine-landaulette which has now been waiting for some nine minutes. 

"The lights in the hall will now be turned on, the front door will beopened wide, and the footman will place the suit-cases in the car, atthe open door of which he will stand, while my colleagues and I--I needhardly say by this time unmasked--emerge at our leisure, chatting in amost ordinary way. 

"I shall be the last to enter the car--I beg your pardon. To-night Ishall be the last but one"--for an instant he halted, as if to emphasizethe correction--"and my entry will coincide with what is a favourableopportunity for the footman to assume the cap and overcoat which he mustof necessity wear if his closing of the front door and subsequentoccupation of the seat by the chauffeur are to excite no remark.... Yousee, I try to think of everything. "

He paused for a moment, regarding the tips of his fingers, as thoughthey were ungloved. Then--

"Your presence here presents no difficulty. Major and Mrs. Pleydell willstay in this room, silent ... And motionless ... And detaining the dog. You"--nonchalantly he pointed an extremely ugly trench-dagger in mydirection--"will vouch with your--er--health for their observance ofthese conditions. Be good enough to stand up and place your hands behindyou. "

With a glance at Berry, I rose. All things considered, there was nothingelse to be done. 

The man whom he had addressed as "Blake" picked up Nobby and, crossingthe room, laid the terrier in Berry's arms. Then he lashed my wriststogether with the rapidity of an expert. 

"Understand, I take no chances. " A harsh note had crept into the eventones. "The slightest indiscretion will cost this gentleman extremelydear. "

I began to hope very much that my brother-in-law would appreciate theadvisability of doing as he had been told. 

"George, my coat. " The voice was as suave as ever again. "Thank you. Iseverything ready?"

Berry stifled a yawn. 

"You don't mean to say, " he exclaimed, "that you're actually going? Dearme. Well, well.... I don't suppose you've a card on you? No. Sorry. Ishould have liked to remember you in my prayers. Never mind. And youdon't happen to know of a good plain cook, do you? No. I thought not. Well, if you should hear of one.... "

"Carry on. "

Blake laid a hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the door. As I wasgoing, I saw the master bow. 

"Mrs. Pleydell, " he said, "I have the honour----Dear me! There's thatridiculous word again. Never mind--the honour to bid _adieu_ to a mostbrave lady. "

With a faint sneer my sister regarded him. Then--

"_Au revoir, _" she said steadily. 

"So long, old bean, " said Berry. "See you at Vine Street. "

As I passed into the hall, the lights went up and a cap was clapped onto my head and pulled down tight over my eyes. Then I was thrust into acorner of the hall, close to the front door. Immediately this wasopened, and I could hear everything happen as we had been led to expect. Only there was a hand on my shoulder.... 

I heard the master coming with a jest on his lips. 

As he passed me, he was speaking ostensibly to one of his comrades ... Ostensibly.... 

"I shouldn't wait up for Jonah, " he said. 

 * * * * *

Thanks to the fact that one of the Assistant Commissioners of Police wasan old friend of mine, we were spared much of the tedious interrogationand well-meant, but in the circumstances utterly futile, attentions ofthe subordinate officers of the C. I. D. 

Admission to the house had been gained without breaking, and there wereno finger-prints. Moreover, since our visitors had worn masks, suchdescriptions of them as we could give were very inadequate. However, statements were taken from my sister, Berry and myself, and the spurioustelegram was handed over. The insurance company was, of course, informedof the crime. 

Despite the paucity of detail, our description of the gang and itsmethods aroused tremendous excitement at Scotland Yard. The master, itappeared, was a veritable Prince of Darkness. Save that he existed, andwas a man of large ideas and the utmost daring, to whose charge half thegreat unplaced robberies of recent years were, rightly or wrongly, laid, little or nothing was known of his manners or personality. 

"I tell you, " said the Assistant Commissioner, leaning back and tiltinghis chair, "he's just about as hot as they make 'em. And when we do takehim, if ever we do--and that might be to-morrow, or in ten years'time--we might walk straight into him next week with the stuff in hishands; you never know--well, when we do take him, as like as not, he'llprove to be a popular M. P. , or a recognized authority on livestock orsomething. You've probably seen him heaps of times in St. James's, and, as like as not, he's a member of your own Club. Depend upon it, the oldsinner moves in those circles which you know are above suspicion. Ifsomebody pinched your watch at Ascot, you'd never look for the thief inthe enclosure, would you? Of course not. Well, I may be wrong, but Idon't think so. Meanwhile let's have some lunch. "

For my sister the ordeal had been severe, and for the thirty hoursfollowing the robbery she had kept her bed. Berry had contracted aslight cold, and I was not one penny the worse. Jill was overcome tolearn what she had missed, and the reflection that she had mercifullyslept upstairs, while such a drama was being enacted upon the groundfloor, rendered her inconsolable. Jonah was summoned by telegram, andcame pelting from Somerset, to be regaled with a picturesque account ofthe outrage, the more purple features of which he at first regarded asembroidery, and for some time flatly refused to believe. As was to beexpected, Nobby paid for his treachery with an attack of biliousness, the closing stages of which were terrible to behold. At one time itseemed as if no constitution could survive such an upheaval; but, although the final convulsion left him subdued and listless, he was asright as ever upon the following morning. 

The next Sunday we registered what was to be our last attendance ofChurch Parade for at least three months. 

By common consent we had that morning agreed altogether to eschew thesubject of crime. Ever since it had happened we had discussed the greatadventure so unceasingly that, as Berry had remarked at breakfast, itwas more than likely that, unless we were to take an immediate and firmline with ourselves, we should presently get Grand Larceny on the brain, and run into some danger of qualifying, not only for admission toBroadmoor, but for detention in that institution till His Majesty'spleasure should be known. For the first hour or two which followed ourresolution we either were silent or discussed other comparativelyuninteresting matters in a preoccupied way; but gradually lack ofventilation began to tell, and the consideration of the robbery grewless absorbent. 

As we entered the Park at Stanhope Gate--

"Boy, aren't you glad Adèle's coming?" said Jill. 

I nodded abstractedly. 

"Rather. "

"You never said so the other night. "

"Didn't I?"

"I suppose, if she comes to Southampton, you'll go to meet her. May Icome with you?"

"Good heavens, yes. Why shouldn't you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I thought, perhaps, you'd rather.... "

I whistled to Nobby, whose disregard of traffic was occasionallyconducive to heart failure. As he came cantering up--

"Adèle isn't my property, " I said. 

"I know, but.... "

"But what?"

"I've never seen Nobby look so clean, " said Jill, with a daringirrelevance that took my breath away. 

"I observe, " said I, "that you are growing up. Your adolescence is athand. You are fast emerging from the chrysalis of girlish innocence, eager to show yourself a pert and scheming butterfly. " My cousinregarded me with feigned bewilderment. "Yes, you've got the baby stareall right, but you must learn to control that little red mouth. WatchDaphne. "

Jill made no further endeavour to restrain the guilty laughter which wastrembling upon her lips. 

"I b-believe you just love her, " she bubbled. 

I thought very rapidly. Then--

"I think we all do, " said I. "She's very attractive. "

"I mean it, " said Jill. 

"So do I. Look at her ears. Oh, I forgot. Hides them under her hair, doesn't she? Her eyes, then. "

"I observe, " said Jill pompously, "that you are sitting up and takingnotice. Your adol--adol--er--what you said, is at hand. You are emergingfrom the chrysalis of ignorance----"

"This is blasphemy. You wicked girl. And what are you getting at?Matchmaking or only blackmail?"

"Well, it's time you got married, isn't it? I don't want you to, dear, but I know you've got to soon, and--and I'd like you to be happy. "

There was a little catch in her voice, and I looked down to see her eyesshining. 

"Little Jill, " I said, "if I marry six wives, I shall still be in lovewith my cousin--a little fair girl, with great grey eyes and theprettiest ways and a heart of the purest gold. And now shall we cry hereor by The Serpentine?"

She caught at my arm, laughing. 

"Boy, you're very----Oh, I say! Where's Nobby?"

We had reached the Achilles Statue, and a hurried retrospect showed methe terrier some thirty paces away, exchanging discourtesies with anAberdeen. The two were walking round each other with a terribledeliberation, and from their respective demeanours it was transparentlyclear that only an immediate distraction could avert the scandal of adistressing brawl. 

Regardless of my surroundings, I summoned the Sealyham in my "parade"voice. To my relief he started and, after a menacing look at hisopponent, presumably intended to discourage an attack in rear, cautiously withdrew from his presence and, once out of range, camescampering in our direction. 

My brother-in-law and Daphne, whom we had outdistanced, arrived at thesame time. 

As I was reproving the terrier--

"The very people, " said a familiar voice. 

It was the Assistant Commissioner, labouring under excitement which hewith difficulty suppressed. He had been hurrying, and was out of breath. 

"I want you to cross the road and walk along by the side of The Row, " hesaid jerkily. "If you see anyone you recognize, take off your hat. And, Mrs. Pleydell, you lower your parasol. "

"But, my dear chap, " said Berry, "they were all masked. "

"Well, if you recognize a voice, or even----"

"A voice? My dear fellow, we're in the open air. Besides, what jury----"

"For Heaven's sake, " cried the other, "do as I ask I I know it's achance in a million. Think me mad, call me a fool--anything you like ... But go. "

His earnestness was irresistible. 

I whistled to Nobby--who had seized the opportunity of straying, apparently by accident, towards a bull-terrier--and started to stroll inthe direction of The Row. Jill walked beside me, twittering, and aglance over my shoulder showed me my sister and Berry a horse's lengthbehind. Behind them, again, came the Assistant Commissioner. 

We crossed the road and entered the walk he had mentioned. 

It was a beautiful day. The great sun flamed out of a perfect sky, andthere was little or no wind. With the exception of a riding-master andtwo little girls The Row was empty, but the walk was as crowded as acomfortably filled ball-room, if you except the dancers who are sittingout; for, while three could walk abreast with small inconvenience eitherto others or themselves, there was hardly a seat to spare. 

I have seen smarter parades. It was clear that many _habitués_ hadalready left Town, and that a number of visitors had already arrived. But there was apparent the same quiet air of gaiety, the same goodhumour which fine feathers bring, and, truth to tell, less _ennui_ andmore undisguised enjoyment than I can ever remember. 

Idly I talked with Jill, not thinking what I said nor noticing what sheanswered, but my heart was pounding against my ribs, and I was glancingincessantly from side to side in a fever of fear lest I should miss theobvious. 

Now and again I threw a look over my shoulder. Always Berry and Daphnewere close behind. Fervently I wished that they were in front. 

I began to walk more slowly.... 

Suddenly I realized that I was streaming with sweat. 

As I felt for my handkerchief--

"Look at Nobby, " said Jill. "Whatever's he doing?"

I glanced at my cousin to follow the direction of her eyes. 

_Nobby was sitting up, begging, before a large elderly gentleman who wasseated, immaculately dressed, some six paces away. He was affecting notto see the terrier, but there was a queer frozen look about his broadsmile that set me staring. Even as I gazed he lowered his eyes andlifting a hand from his knee, began to regard the tips of his fingers, as though they were ungloved.... _

For a second I stood spellbound. 

Then I took off my hat. 

CHAPTER IX

HOW ADÈLE FESTE ARRIVED, AND MR. DUNKLESBAUM SUPPED WITH THE DEVIL. 

"There she is!" cried Jill. 

"Where?" said I, screwing up my eyes and peering eagerly at the crowdedtaffrails. 

"There, Boy, there. Look, she's seen us. She's waving. "

Hardly I followed the direction of my cousin's pink index finger, whichwas stretched quivering towards the promenade deck. 

"Is that her in blue?"

But a smiling Jill was already nodding and waving unmistakably to thetall slim figure, advances which the latter was as surely returning witha cheerly wave of her slight blue arm. Somewhat sheepishly I took off myhat. 

Adèle Feste had arrived. 

More than fifteen months had elapsed since we had reluctantly seen herinto the boat-train at Euston and wished her a safe journey to herAmerican home. At the time, with an uneasiness bred of experience, I hadwondered whether our friendship was to survive the battery of time anddistance, or whether it was destined to slip into a decline and so, presently, out of our lives, fainting and painless. Touch, however, hadbeen maintained by a fitful correspondence, and constant references toMiss Feste's promised visit to White Ladies--a consummation which we oneand all desired--were made for what they were worth. Finally my sistersat down and issued a desperate summons. "My dear, don't keep us waitingany longer. Arrive in August and stay for six months. If you don't, weshall begin to believe what we already suspect--that we live too faraway. " The thrust went home. Within a month the invitation had beenaccepted, with the direct result that here were Jill and I, at sixo'clock of a pleasant August evening, standing upon a quay atSouthampton, while the Rolls waited patiently, with Fitch at her wheel, a stone's throw away, ready to rush our guest and ourselves over the oddfifteen miles that lay between the port and White Ladies. 

With us in the car we could take the inevitable cabin trunk anddressing-case. Adèle's heavy baggage was to be consigned to the care ofFitch, who would bring it by rail the same evening to Mockery Dale, thelittle wayside station which served five villages and our own amongthem. 

Nobody from the quay was allowed to board the liner, and none of thepassengers were allowed to disembark, until the baggage had beenoff-loaded. For the best part, therefore, of an hour and a half Jill andI hovered under the shadow of the tall ship, walking self-consciously upand down, or standing looking up at the promenade deck with, so far as Iwas concerned, an impotently fatuous air and, occasionally, themeretricious leer usually reserved for the photographer's studio. 

At last--

"If they don't let them off soon, " I announced, "I shall break down. Thestrain of being cordial with somebody who's in sight, but out ofearshot, is becoming unbearable. Let's go and have a breather behind thehutment. " And I indicated an erection which looked like a ticket-officethat had been thrown together during the Crimean War. 

But Jill was inexorable. 

"It can't be long now, " she argued, "and if we go away----There!" Sheseized my arm with a triumphant clutch. "Look! They're beginning to getoff. "

It was true. One by one the vanguard of passengers was alreadystraggling laden on to the high gangway. I strained my eyes for aglimpse of the slight blue figure, which had left the taffrail and waspresumably imprisoned in the press which could be observed welling outof a doorway upon the main deck.... 

A sudden and violent stress upon my left hand at once reminded me ofNobby's existence, and suggested that of a cat. Mechanically I held fastto the lead, at the opposite end of which the Sealyham was choking andlabouring in a frenzied endeavour to molest a sleek tabby, which, fromthe assurance of its gait, appeared to be a _persona grata_ upon thequay. The attempted felony attracted considerable attention, whichshould have been otherwise directed, with the result that a clergymanand two ladies were within an ace of being overrun by an enormoustruckload of swaying baggage and coarsely reviled by a sweating Herculesfor their pains. As it was, the sudden diversion of the trolleyprojected several pieces of luggage on to the quay, occasioning anembryo stampede of the bystanders and drawing down a stern rebuke, delivered in no measured terms, from a blue-coated official, who had notseen what had happened, upon the heads of innocent and guilty alike. Thereal offender met my accusing frown with the disarming smile of childishinnocence, and, when I shook my head, wagged his tail unctuously. As Ipicked him up and put him under my arm--

"So this is Nobby, " said Adèle. 

I uncovered and nodded. 

"And he had a bath this morning, so as to be all nice and clean whenMiss Feste arrived. I did, too. "

"How reckless!" said Adèle. "You look very well on it. "

"Thank you, " said I, shaking hands. "And you look glorious. Hullo!You've let your hair grow. I am glad. "

"Think it's an improvement?"

"If possible. "

The well-marked eyebrows went up, the bright brown eyes regarded mequizzically, the faint familiar smile hung maddeningly on the red lips. 

"Polite as ever, " she flashed. 

"Put it down to the bath, " said I. "Cleanliness is nextto--er--devotion. "

"Yes, and he's been counting the days, " broke in Jill. "He has really. Of course, we all have. But----Oh, Adèle, I'm so glad you've come. "

Adèle drew my cousin's arm within her own. 

"So'm I, " she said quietly. "And now--I did have a dressing-case once. And a steamer-trunk.... D'you think it's any good looking for them?"

Twenty minutes later we were all three--four with Nobby--on the frontseat of the Rolls, which was nosing its way gingerly out of the town. 

"I wonder if you realize, " said Adèle, "what a beautiful country youlive in. "

At the moment we were immediately between an unpleasantly crowded tramand a fourth-rate beerhouse. 

"Don't you have trams?" said I. "Or does alcohol mean so much to you? Isuppose prohibition is a bit of a jar. "

"To tell you the truth, I was thinking of the Isle of Wight. It lookedso exquisite as we were coming in. Just like a toy continent out of agiant's nursery. "

"Before the day is out, " I prophesied, "you shall see finer things thanthat. "

Once clear of the streets, I gave the car her head. 

For a while we slid past low-lying ground, verdant and fresh andblowing, but flat and sparsely timbered, with coppices here and thereand, sometimes, elms in the hedgerows, and, now and again, a parcel ofyoungster oaks about a green--fair country enough at any time, and atthis summer sundown homely and radiant. But there was better to come. 

The car fled on. 

Soon the ground rose sharply by leaps and bounds, the yellow roadswerving to right and left, deep tilted meadows on one side with ascreen of birches beyond, and on the other a sloping rabble of timber, whose foliage made up a tattered motley, humble and odd and bastard, yet, with it all, so rich in tender tones and unexpected feats ofdrapery that Adèle cried that it was a slice of fairyland and sat withher chin on her shoulder, till the road curled up into the depths of abroad pine-wood, through which it cut, thin, and dead straight, andcool, and strangely solemn. In a flash it had become the nave of acathedral, immense, solitary. Sombre and straight and tall, the wallsrose up to where the swaying roof sobered the mellow sunshine and onlylet it pass dim and so, sacred. The wanton breeze, caught in the maze oftufted pinnacles, filtered its chastened way, a pensive organist, learned to draw grave litanies from the boughs and reverently voice theair of sanctity. The fresh familiar scent hung for a smokeless incense, breathing high ritual and redolent of pious mystery. No circumstance ofworship was unobserved. With one consent birds, beasts and insects madenot a sound. The precious pall of silence lay like a phantom cloud, unruffled. Nature was on her knees. 

The car fled on. 

Out of the priestless sanctuary, up over the crest of the rise, into thekiss of the sunlight we sailed, and so on to a blue-brown moor, allsplashed and dappled with the brilliant yellow of the gorse in bloom androlling away into the hazy distance like an untroubled sea. So for amile it flowed, a lazy pomp of purple, gold-flecked and glowing. Thencame soft cliffs of swelling woodland, rising to stay its course withgentle dignity--walls that uplifted eyes found but the dwindled edge ofa far mightier flood that stretched and tossed, a leafy waste ofbillows, flaunting more living shades of green than painters dream of, laced here and there with gold and, once in a long while, shot withcrimson, rising and falling with Atlantic grandeur, till the eyefaltered, and the proud rich waves seemed to be breaking on the rosysky. 

And over all the sun lay dying, his crimson ebb of life staining thefirmament with splendour, his mighty heart turning the dance of Death toa triumphant progress, where Blood and Flame rode by with clouds forchargers, and Earth and Sky themselves shouldered the litter of theirpassing King. 

An exclamation of wonder broke from Adèle, and Jill cried to me to stop. 

"Just for a minute, Boy, so that she can see it properly. "

Obediently I slowed to a standstill. Then I backed the great car andswung up a side track for the length of a cricket-pitch. The few cubitsthus added to our stature extended the prospect appreciably. Besides, itwas now unnecessary to crane the neck. 

At last--

"If you're waiting for me to say 'Go, '" said Adèle, "I shouldn't. I'mquite ready to sit here till nightfall. It's up to you to tear me away. "

I looked at Jill. 

"Better be getting on, " I said. "The others'll be wondering where weare. "

She nodded. 

We did not stop again till the car came to rest easily before the greatoak door, which those who built White Ladies hung upon its tremendoushinges somewhere in the 'forties of the sixteenth century. 

 * * * * *

"It is my duty, " said Berry, "to inform you that on Wednesday I shallnot be available. "

"Why?" said my wife. 

"Because upon that day I propose to dispense justice in my capacity of aJustice of the Peace. I shall discriminate between neither rich norpoor. Beggars and billionaires shall get it equally in the neck. Innocent and guilty alike----"

"That'll do, " said Daphne. "What about Thursday?"

"Thursday's clear. One moment, though. I had an idea there was somethingon that day. " For a second he drummed on the table, clearly cudgellinghis brains. Suddenly, "I knew it, " he cried. "That's the day of thesale. You know. Merry Down. I don't know what's the matter with mymemory. I've got some rotten news. "

"What?"

Daphne, Jill, Jonah and I fired the question simultaneously. 

"A terrible fellow's after it. One Dunkelsbaum. Origin doubtful--very. Last known address, Argentina. Naturalized in July, 1914. Strictlyneutral during the War, but managed to net over a million out of cotton, which he sold to the Central Powers _at a lower price than Great Britainoffered_ before we tightened the blockade. Never interned, of course. Well, he tried to buy Merry Down by private treaty, but Sir Anthonywouldn't sell to him. They say the sweep's crazy about the place andthat he means to have it at any price. Jolly, isn't it?"

There was a painful silence. 

Merry Down was the nearest estate to White Ladies, and was almost asprecious to us as our own home. For over two centuries a Bagot hadreigned uninterruptedly over the rose-red mansion and the spreadingpark, the brown water and the waving woods--a kingdom of which we hadbeen free since childhood. Never an aged tree blew down but we were toldof it, and now--the greatest of them all was falling, the house of Bagotitself. 

One of the old school, Sir Anthony had stood his ground up to the last. The War had cost him dear. His only son was killed in the first months. His only grandson fell in the battles of the Somme. His substance, neverfat, had shrunk to a mere shadow of its former self. The stout old heartfought the unequal fight month after month. Stables were emptied, roomswere shut up, thing after thing was sold. It remained for a defaultingsolicitor to administer the _coup de grâce_.... 

On the twelfth day of August, precisely at half-past two, Merry Down wasto be sold by auction at _The Fountain Inn_, Brooch. 

Berry's news took our breath away. 

"D'you mean to say that this is what I fought for?" said I. "For thisbrute's peaceful possession of Merry Down?"

"Apparently, " said my brother-in-law. "More. It's what Derry Bagot andhis boy died for, if you happen to be looking at it that way. "

"It'll break Sir Anthony's heart, " said Daphne. 

"But I don't understand, " said Adèle. "How--why is it allowed?"

"I must have notice, " said Berry, "of that question. "

"Have you ever heard, " said Jonah, "of the Society for the Prevention ofCruelty to Alien Enemies?"

Adèle shook her head. 

"I think you must have, " said Jonah. "Some people call it the BritishNation. It's been going for years. "

"That's right, " said I. "And its motto is 'Charity begins at Home. 'There's really nothing more to be said. "

"I could cry, " announced Jill, in a voice that fully confirmed herstatement. "It's just piteous. What would poor Derry say? Can't anythingbe done?"

Berry shrugged his shoulders. 

"If half what I've heard is true, Merry Down is as good as gone. Thefellow means to have it, and he's rich enough to buy the county itself. Short of assassination, I don't see what anybody can do. Of course, ifyou like, you can reproduce him in wax and then stick pins into theimage. But that's very old-fashioned, and renders you liable tocremation without the option of a fine. Besides, as a magistrate, I feelit my bounden duty to----"

"I thought witchcraft and witches were out of date, " said Adèle. 

"Not at all, " said Berry. "Only last week we bound one over fordiscussing the housing question with a wart-hog. The animal, which, tillthen, had been laying steadily, became unsettled and suspicious andfinally attacked an inoffensive Stilton with every circumstance ofbarbarity. "

"How awful!" said Adèle. "You do see life as a magistrate, don't you?And I suppose somebody kissed the wart-hog, and it turned into a Frenchcount? You know, it's a shame about you. "

Berry looked round. 

"Mocked, " he said. "And at my own table. With her small mouth crammedwith food, for which I shall be called upon to pay, she actually----"

"O-o-oh!" cried Adèle. "It wasn't. Besides, you shouldn't have askedme. "

"I can only say, " said Berry, "that I am surprised and pained. From thebosom of my family I, as the head, naturally expect nothing but thefoulest scurrility and derision. But when a comparative stranger, whom, with characteristic generosity, I have made free of my heart, seizes amoment which should have been devoted to the mastication of one of mypeaches to vilify her host, then indeed I feel almost unsexed--I meanunmanned. Are my veins standing out like cords?"

"Only on your nose, " said I. "All gnarled, that is. "

"There you are, " said Berry. "The slow belly reviles the sage. The----"

Scandalized cries from Daphne and Jill interrupted him. 

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, " said his wife, pushing back herchair. "And now let's all have coffee on the terrace. That is, unlessyou three want to stay. "

Jonah, Berry and I shook our heads, and she took Adèle's arm and led theway out of the room.... 

It was a wonderful night. 

While Nature slept, Magic, sceptred with a wand, sat on her throne. 

The sky was rich black velvet, pricked at a million points, from everyone of which issued a cold white brilliance, just luminous enough toshow its whereness, sharp and clear-cut. No slightest breath of windruffled the shadows of the sleeping trees. With one intent, Night andthe countryside had filled the cup of silence so that it brimmed--a featthat neither cellarer can do alone. The faint sweet scent of honeysucklestole on its errant way, 'such stuff as dreams are made on, ' so that thesilken fabric of the air took on a tint of daintiness so rare, fleeting, and exquisite as made your fancy riot, conjuring mirages of smoothenchantment, gardens that hung luxuriant beneath a languorous moon, theplash of water and the soft sob of flutes.... 

For a long moment all the world was fairy. Then, with a wild scrabble ofclaws upon stone, a small white shape shot from beneath my chair, tookthe broad steps at a bound and vanished into the darkness. The welter ofbarks and growls and grunts of expended energy, rising a moment laterfrom the midst of the great lawn, suggested that a cat had retired tothe convenient shelter of the mulberry tree. 

The sudden eruption startled us all, and Berry dwelt with some asperityupon the danger of distracting the digestive organs while at work. 

Menacingly I demanded the terrier's immediate return. Upon the thirdtime of asking the uproar ceased, and a few seconds later Nobby camepadding out of the gloom with the cheerful demeanour of the labourer whohas done well and shown himself worthy of his hire. Wise in hisgeneration, he had learned that it is a hard heart which thepleasurable, if mistaken, glow of faithful service will not disarm. Sternly I set the miscreant upon my knee. For a moment we eyed oneanother with mutual mistrust and understanding. Then he thrust up a wetnose and licked my face.... 

For a minute or two there was no noise save the occasional chink of acoffee-cup against its saucer. Then--

"Since you ask me, " said Berry, "my horoscope is of peculiar interest. "

"What's a horoscope?" said Jill. 

"A cross between a birth certificate and a conduct sheet, " said I, nodding at Berry. "His is a wonder. You can get a copy of it for threeand sixpence at Scotland Yard. "

"I was born, " said my brother-in-law, "when Uranus was in conjunction, Saturn in opposition, and the Conservatives in power. Venus was allgibbous, the Zodiac was in its zenith, and the zenith was in Charles'sWain, commonly called The Cart. My sign was Oleaqua--The Man with theWatering Pot. When I add that a thunderstorm was raging, and that myfather had bet five pounds I should be a girl, and had decided to callme 'Hosannah, ' you will appreciate that it is no ordinary being who isaddressing you. A singularly beautiful infant, it was at once obviousthat I was born to rule. Several people said it was inevitable, amongthem an organ-grinder, who was ordered out of the grounds, to whichduring the excitement he had gained access. He didn't put it that way, but he explained at the police court that that was what he had meant. "

"To whose good offices, " said Jonah, "do you ascribe your pretty ways?"

"Uranus, " was the airy reply. "From that deity came also meekness, anunshakable belief in human nature, and the fidgets. "

"You ought to have been called after him, " said Adèle. 

"My godfathers thought otherwise. In a fit of generosity they gave me myname and a pint pot, which the more credulous declared to be silver, butwhose hallmark persistently defied detection. Then the fount dried up. And now let me read your hand. Or would you rather I taught you thethree-card trick?"

"It's too dark, " I protested. "Besides, she's going to sing. "

"Who said so?" said Adèle. "I was going to suggest that you told us afairy tale. "

"A song for a tale, " said I. 

"Done. "

"There was once a princess, " said I, "with eyes like brown stars and avoice like the song of a silver brook. One day she was sitting all aloneby the side of a shady trout-stream, when she heard a bell. For a momentshe thought she was dreaming, for she was rather tired. Then she heardit again--a clear tinkle, which seemed to arise from the heart of thestream itself. This surprised the princess very much, because no bellswere allowed in her father's kingdom. The old man was a bit of anautocrat, and one morning, when he had been rung up seven times runningby subjects who wanted quite a different number, he just passed a lawprohibiting bells, and that was that. Well, while she was wondering whatto do the bell rang again rather angrily, and, before she knew where shewas, she had said 'Come in. '

"'At last, ' said a voice, and a large frog heaved himself out of thewater and sat down on a tuft of grass on the opposite bank. 'I shan'tknock next time. '

"'I didn't hear you knock, ' said the princess. 

"'I didn't, ' said the frog. 'I rang. How's your father?'

"'Full of beans, ' said the princess. 'And yours?'

"'That's my business, ' said the frog. 'Are you married yet?'

"'No such luck, ' said the princess. 'And, what's more, I never shallbe. '

"'Why?' said the frog. 'Half the kingdom goes with you, doesn't it?'

"'Exactly, ' said the princess. 'And there's the rub. '

"'Where?' said the frog, looking round. 

"'Well, I'm all right, ' said the princess, 'but who wants half aone-horse kingdom that's mortgaged up to the hilt and a bit over?'

"At this the frog looked so wise that the princess felt quiteuncomfortable, and began to think he must be a waiter at the Athenæumwho had had a misunderstanding with a witch. Suddenly--

"'Which of your suitors do you like best?' said the frog. 

"'Albert the Watchguard, ' said the princess. 'He's a bit of a fool, butyou ought to see him dance. '

"'No, I oughtn't, ' said the frog. 'It would be extremely bad for me. Listen. Tell Albert to come down here with a sieve to-morrow morning. Hemay be a bit of a fool, but, if he doesn't apply for you before lunch, he's a congenital idiot. ' And with that he took a short run and divedinto the stream. 

"The princess did as she was bid, and at eleven o'clock the next morningAlbert the Watchguard appeared, complete with sieve, upon the bank ofthe trout-stream. Twenty-five minutes later, with a cigarette behind hisear and _a nugget of gold in each boot_, he made formal application forthe hand of the princess and half the kingdom--a request which wasimmediately granted. 

"Two days later they were married. 

"What Albert the Watchguard said, on learning that his half of thekingdom did not include the territory watered by the trout-stream, isnot recorded. 

"If you remember, he was a bit of a fool. "

"Good for you, old chap, " said Daphne. 

Jill's hand stole out of the darkness and crept into mine. 

Berry turned to Adèle. 

"A blinking wonder, " he said, "is not he? Fancy turning out a comiccameo like that on demand. But then for years he's been on the staff of_Chunks_. He does the _Gossipy Gobbets_ column. "

Adèle laughed musically. 

"It was very nice of him to do as I asked, " she said. "And as abargain's a bargain.... "

She rose and turned to the open windows.... 

I saw her settled at the piano, and then stole back. 

A moment later the strains of her beautiful mezzo-soprano floated outinto the darkness. 

It is doubtful whether _Printemps Qui Commence_ ever enjoyed a moreexquisite setting. 

It was a wonderful night. 

 * * * * *

If we had driven straight to Brooch the incident would not haveoccurred. 

We had lunched early, for Berry and I were determined to attend the saleof Merry Down. Sir Anthony, who was sure to be there, would needcomforting, and we had, moreover, a feeling that we should like to seethe last of an old friend. Once the place had passed into the power ofthe dog, we should try to forget. It was Adèle's suggestion that sheshould accompany us. "I'd like to see Brooch, " she had said, "and I wantto get a new piece of silk for my wristwatch. Besides, I can sit in thecar while you and Berry are at the sale. That'll save your taking thechauffeur. " We agreed readily enough. 

Because Adèle was with us we started in good time, so that we could goby way of Hickory Hammer and Three Horse Hill. That way would bring uson to the London road at a point five miles from Brooch, and, while theview from the hill was as fine as any in the neighbourhood, HickoryHammer was not only extremely ancient, but generally accounted one ofthe most picturesque villages in the whole of England. 

I was driving, with Nobby beside me, while Adèle and Berry sat on theback seat. Our thoughts were not unnaturally dwelling upon the sale, andnow and again I caught fragments of conversation which suggested that mybrother-in-law was commenting upon the power of money and thephysiognomy of Mr. Dunkelsbaum--whose photograph had appeared in thepaper that very morning, to grace an interview--with marked acerbity. Once in a while a ripple of laughter from Adèle came to my ears, but forthe most part it was a grave discourse, for Berry felt very bitter, andAdèle, whose father's father was the son of an English squire, had takento heart the imminent disseizure with a rare sympathy. 

It was five minutes to two when we slid out of Lullaby Coppice and on tothe London road. A furlong ahead the road swung awkwardly to the left--abend which the unexpected _débouchement_ of a by-road rendered averitable pitfall for the unwary motorist. I slowed for the turncautiously, for I knew the place, but I was not surprised when, onrounding the corner, we found ourselves confronted with a state ofaffairs presenting all the elements of a first-class smash. 

What had happened was transparently clear. 

Huddled between a trolley and the nearside bank, which was rising sheerfrom the road, was a large red limousine, listing heavily to port anddown by the head. Both vehicles were facing towards Brooch. Plainly thecar had sought to overtake the trolley, which was in the act of emergingfrom the by-road, and pass it upon the wrong side. The former, ofcourse, had been travelling too fast to stop, and the burden which thelatter was bearing had made it impossible for the other to pass upon theright-hand side. Three sturdy oaks, new felled, one of them full fiftyswaying feet in length, all of them girt by chains on to the trolley'sback, made a redoubtable obstruction. The chauffeur had taken the onlypossible course and dashed for the narrowing passage on the left. Asecond too late, the car had been pinched between the great wain and theunyielding bank, like a nut between the jaws of the crackers. But forthe action of the carter, who had stopped his team dead, the car wouldhave been crushed to flinders. 

The two occupants of the limousine were apparently unhurt, for, when Ifirst saw them, they were standing in the middle of the road, lookinganxiously in our direction. The next moment they were signalling to usviolently, spreading out ridiculous arms, as if the tree-trunks were notputting our passage of the road for the present out of the question. 

As I brought the Rolls to a standstill, I heard a stifled cry. The nextmoment Berry's voice hissed in my ear. 

"Talk of the devil.... Look at the cove on the right. _It's Dunkelsbaumhimself. _"

A lightning glance showed me the truth of his words. The original of thephotograph over which we had pored that morning was standing before usin all the grossness of flesh. 

Almost before I had recovered from the shock, the other--a long sallowcreature with a false grin and a cringing air--was at my elbow. 

"You mutht eckthcuthe me, " he lisped, uncovering, "but could youpothibly give uth a lift ath far ath Brooch? Thith gentleman"--heindicated Mr. Dunkelsbaum--"hath a motht important engagement there athalf-patht two, and, ath you thee, we have been unfortunate. Tho, if youcould thee your way to accommodating uth, we thould be greatly obliged. "

Before I could reply--

"We can get there by half-past two, " said Berry, speaking slowly anddistinctly, "if--_if we go through Ramilly. _"

Now, Ramilly was a great enclosure, and could be entered from theby-road down which the trolley had come. _But it was not on the way toBrooch. _

With the greatest difficulty I repressed a start. Then I leaned forwardas if to examine the dash, but in reality to conceal my excitement.... 

_Apparently guileless, my brother-in-law's protasis was nothing lessthan a deliberate direction to me to postpone Mr. Dunkelsbaum's arrivalat Brooch until Merry Down was no longer in the market. _

My heart began to beat violently.... 

Berry was speaking again. 

"Wait half a minute, and we'll change over. " He turned to Adèle. "Willyou sit in front with Boy?"

As the change was being made, Mr. Dunkelsbaum advanced. 

I have seldom set eyes upon a less prepossessing man. To liken him to avicious over-fed pug is more than charitable. Smug, purse-proud andevil, his bloated countenance was most suggestive. There was no pityabout the coarse mouth, which he had twisted into a smile, two deepsneer lines cut into the unwholesome pallor of his cheeks, from underdrooping lids two beady eyes shifted their keen appraising glance fromme to Berry and, for a short second, to Adèle. There was about him not asingle redeeming feature, and for the brute's pompous carriage alone Icould have kicked him heartily. 

The clothes were like unto the man. 

From beneath a silk-faced overcoat, which he wore unbuttoned, the richcontour of a white waistcoat thrust its outrageous way, spurning thedecent shelter of a black tail-coat and making the thick striped legslook shorter than ever. A diamond pin winked in the satin tie, and ablack bowler hat and patent-leather boots mercifully covered, the onehis crown, and the others his short fat feet. 

My gentleman raised his hat and removed a cigar from his mouth beforespeaking in a thick voice and with a strong foreign accent. 

"My segretary 'as tol' you of my agsident, yes. I voz much oblige' vor alif' to Brrrrooch. These gattle"--contemptuously he pointed to thewaggoner and his great beasts, to whose common sagacity he owed hislife--"should not allowed be on der roats, no. Ach, so. It voz allwrong. "

"Quite so, " said Berry. "I think they're worse than pedestrians. If Ihad my way, nothing but high-powered cars would be allowed on any highroad. If people can't afford cars, let them keep to the lanes. "

"So 'ave I say often. What vor are der baths an' lanes else? Bah!"

By now Adèle had taken her seat in front, and my brother-in-law, who haddescended, was ushering Mr. Dunkelsbaum into the place she had left. With a grunt the fellow made to hoist himself in, when Nobby took aflying leap from the front seat and planted himself in the intruder'spath, barking furiously. 

Immediately withdrawing the foot which he had set upon the carpet, Mr. Dunkelsbaum descended anyhow on to his secretary, who was not expectinghim and so too late to recede. The scream of agony which the unfortunatecreature emitted, no less than the convulsive way in which he clung tothe wing, while standing upon one leg and protesting with a horribleleer that he was unhurt, gave the lie to his words. 

His employer spoke at once and to the point. 

"Den, if you 'ave no 'urt, what vor 'ave you yell in mine ear-'ole?Bah!" He turned to me. "You vill blease gondrol der 'ound. "

Mastering a desire to do the man violence, I leaned out and over theback of my seat and, taking Nobby by the scruff of his neck, hauled himstruggling and growling across the barrier. Adèle received him tenderlyand endeavoured to soothe him. But the Sealyham was mourning a lostopportunity and would not be comforted. 

Bluntly commanding his creature to stay with the car and arrange for itssalvage, Mr. Dunkelsbaum once more heaved himself into the Rolls andsank upon the back seat. Berry followed, and a moment later I had let inthe clutch and turned up the by-road. 

By the time we had reached the entrance to the enclosure it was tenminutes past two, and, as Berry got out to open and hold the gate, I sawour passenger bring out a handsome timepiece and, after a glance at thedial, replace it in some uneasiness. 

"Your dime voz der same as London?" he inquired. 

"Five minutes ahead, " I replied maliciously. 

"Ach!"

"We shall do it all right, " I said airily, "Your appointment's at three, isn't it?"

Mr. Dunkelsbaum went a rich green colour, half rose from his seat, andclawed at the air before replying. 

"Three?" he raved. "Three? No, no! Alf-pas' doo, man, 'alf-pas' doo! 'Oo'as say it voz three? In a quarder of an hour ve mus' be dere. It isfital, yes. "

Adèle began to shake with laughter. 

"Right oh, " I said casually. "I dare say we can manage it. " The gate wasopen, and I let in the clutch with a bang. With a startled grunt, Mr. Dunkelsbaum was projected violently on to the seat he had left. As Islowed up for Berry to rejoin us, "But I may have to go rather fast, " Iadded. 

"Like der devil, " was the reply. 

The going was good, and the road was unfrequented, so I let the car out. We tore down an avenue of firs, great rugged banks of rhododendronssprawling on either side, scudded into a beechwood--pillars allsilver-grey, set in a ruffled mass of whispering green, swam through asea of bracken, rippling and feathery. And all the time I was racking mybrain.... 

To the best of my recollection, we had another three miles to coverbefore we should emerge from Ramilly on to the King's highway. But atthe very point at which we should leave the enclosure there werecrossroads and, I was sure, a finger-post announcing the way to Broochin a plain manner which there was no mistaking. 

In the face of this direction, which our passenger would be certain tosee, it would be impossible to take another road, and, though we shouldundoubtedly reach _The Fountain_ after the appointed hour, it was quitepossible that the proceedings might not be punctually conducted, andthat the essential business of the sale would not have been completedbefore our arrival. 

Of course, there was nothing to prevent us from throwing off the mask, stopping the car, and politely intimating our inability to carry Mr. Dunkelsbaum any further. But his reception of such an open declarationof war was certain to be unsuitable for Adèle's eyes and ears, and thesubsequent action which a man of his calibre would undoubtedly takemight prove troublesome, if profitless. 

Again, our eventual arrival at Brooch, however belated, would be betteravoided. Berry and I were well known in the town, as was also our closefriendship with Sir Anthony. Our identification, therefore, would beonly a matter of time, and since, in the absence of a burst or apuncture, our progress to Brooch could only be delayed by pretendedengine trouble, the suspicions which this would be sure to arouse in ourpassenger's mind would very soon be confirmed. 

Sooner or later the fellow would gather that he had been befooled, but, provided that we preserved our incognitos, that did not matter. If wecould possibly leave him uncertain whether we were as cunning asserpents or as simple as doves, so much the better. 

In no sort of order all these reflections elbowed and jostled oneanother before my mind's eye, which was itself searching feverishly fora solution. Then we floated round a long curve, and I saw the splash. 

We were at the top of a short steep hill in the midst of a dense wood oftender years. At the foot of the hill our road was overrun by afair-sized stream, so that while there was a little foot-bridge, vehicles that were wishing to pass this way must do so by way of theford. Beyond the water the ground rose sharply again, making the wholeplace a bottom or hollow, such as was commonly encountered in this partof England. 

I slowed up, and we slid down the hill at a reduced speed. 

With the utmost caution I put the Rolls at the splash, making no attemptto disguise my uneasiness. Mr. Dunkelsbaum would naturally conclude thatI was anxious lest the water was deep. As a matter of fact, I wasfearful lest the ford should prove shallow. 

But luck was with us. 

Very gently the great car entered the brown water, which was flowingslowly and steadily over its gravel bed. With my heart in my mouth, Iwatched the water rise.... It was half-way to the running-board. It waslevel--above.... It was lapping the spare wheel, and--we were in thedeepest part. Quick as a flash I changed into top and let in the clutchwith a bang. Instantly the engine stopped, and the car came to rest inmid-stream. 

I took out my handkerchief and wiped my face. 

There was an electric silence. Then--

"What's the matter?" said Berry. 

"Flooded out, " I said shortly, hoping that Mr. Dunkelsbaum was not anengineer. 

As I spoke, I heard a choking sound at my shoulder. I turned sharply, and there was my gentleman in a terrible toss. His eyes were protruding, and he could hardly speak. 

"To Brrrooch!" he screamed. "To Brrrooch! Ve mus' go on. I 'ave say itis fital. Sdard der gar, man, sdard der gar! What vor do you vaid?"

"I'll try, " I said coolly. "But you'll have to get out. Our only chanceis to make her as light as possible. "

With a saintly look Berry opened the off-side door and sprang nimbly onto the foot-bridge. Then he turned to the other. 

"Come along, sir. "

Mr. Dunkelsbaum stared at the water as if it had been boiling oil. As heestimated the distance he was to cover, a bead of perspiration began tocourse down his face. It was the first of many.... 

Berry extended his hand. 

"Come along, sir. "

The fellow threw one despairing glance about him, hung out of the cartill he could reach Berry's hand, and then, with a frightful grunt, goose-stepped into space.... 

The sight of Mr. Dunkelsbaum, still hand-in-hand with Berry, endeavouring by the latter's direction to step out of twelve inches ofwater on to the foot-bridge--a feat which only a contortionist couldhave accomplished--was diverting in the extreme. But when theunfortunate creature did by some superhuman effort get the elongated toeof his right elastic-sided boot upon the plank, and Berry found himselfunable to do more than haul him half-way to safety, so that for one longhectic moment he hung writhing convulsively, frantically waving his leftleg in quest of a footing and alternately calling upon Heaven andfrenziedly charging his betrayer not to let go; when, as a result ofmuscular vibration, his left boot worked loose and fell into the waterwith a derisive plop; when Nobby, who had been watching the efforts ofthe storming party in a fever of excitement, leapt from Adèle's arms onto my shoulders and thence into the flood, and, beating its raving ownerby a matter of inches in a rush for the errant footgear, splashed histriumphant way to the bank and, amid a hurricane of execration, bore hiswaterlogged trophy into the undergrowth; then I bowed my head upon thesteering-wheel and, throwing decency to the winds, ran before thetempest of Titanic laughter.... 

A wail of merriment from Adèle and a pressure upon my left arm broughtme to my senses. 

Watch in hand, Mr. Dunkelsbaum was dancing upon a strip of turf by theedge of the stream, bellowing at me to start the car. 

"I do nod gare vor my bood, no. But der abboinmen'.... It vill nod vaid, I say. An' it is now vive minute to begin. Ach! What vor 'ave you siddere an' laugh? My 'eart pleeds vor you. Ten tousand devil! But _villyou sdard ub der auto?_"

The yell with which he delivered the last sentence changed to a howl ashis bootless foot alighted heavily upon an odd pebble, and Nobby peeredout of some long grass, boot in mouth, to see whether the situation wasaffording further opportunities. Apparently it was not, for he lay downwhere he was and proceeded with the dismemberment of his spoil. 

Adèle turned her head away and held her handkerchief to her eyes. 

I set my foot upon the self-starter.... 

The moment the engine started, Nobby abandoned his treasure and leaptbarking to the side of the car, fearful, as usual, lest he be leftbehind. Muttering hideously, Mr. Dunkelsbaum seized the opportunity ofretrieving his boot, whose present condition was apparently even worsethan he had expected, for a hurried examination of the same elicited aninvoluntary cry of torment, and he shook his fist at the terrier in afit of ungovernable fury. 

Slowly I brought the Rolls out of the splash, and when, as I judged, about six feet lay between the back wheels and the stream, again Istopped the engine.... 

For a moment I thought Mr. Dunkelsbaum would offer me violence. Hismouth worked uncontrollably, and there was a suspicion of foam upon thethick lips. A sudden violent tug at the boot, which was still in hisright hand awaiting replacement, mercifully diverted his attention, butthe savagery with which he launched a kick at Nobby, who was once morein possession and already out of range, was terrible to witness. 

"'Ell-'ound!" he screamed. "'Ell-'ound! You vould dare! I vill throw yououd of der vindow with one 'and. I vill gig der eyes from your 'ead. " Inthe midst of the paroxysm he turned to me, wild-eyed and gesticulating. "What vor 'ave you stay still? You mus' sdard again an' again, yes. ToBrrrooch! To Brrrooch!" He snatched his watch from his pocket and dabbedat its face with a shaking forefinger. "Der glogs vill berhaps be wrong. I vill give you dwendy bounds if ve shall 'ave arrive in dime!"

The rearguard of my compunction, which had been putting up a fight, vanished into thin air. The sweep had offered me money. I was preparedto twist his tall indefinitely. 

"If you pushed behind, " I said coldly, "we might get her going. If wedo, you must get in while she's moving. I daren't stop, or we may haveto begin all over again. "

Mr. Dunkelsbaum eyed me suspiciously, and Berry, who had been hithertoafraid to trust his voice, took up the running with a dash. 

"That's the ticket. Come on, Herr Stunkenblotch. Never mind your boot. Think of the purchase you'll get with a bare foot. " He stepped behindthe car. "Now, you do as I do, and, when I say 'Go, ' drop your bullethead and try to shove the old 'bus into the middle of next fortnight. "

With a snarl, Mr. Dunkelsbaum slunk limping to the back of the car.... 

A moment later--

"Go!" said my brother-in-law. 

Maliciously I waited the best part of thirty seconds. Then--

"Are you ready?" I inquired, innocently enough. 

The explosion which my question provoked was truly terrible. 

The panting alien and Berry immediately reappeared, one upon either sideof the car, the latter protesting with an injured air that he was not soyoung as he was, and that, if I wanted him to survive the summer, I hadbetter keep my ears open, while, to judge from his behaviour, thereflection that his recent output of vigour had been rendered nugatoryby my unreadiness was hurrying Mr. Dunkelsbaum into the valley ofinsanity. Purple in the face from the unwonted violence of his physicaland mental exercise, streaming with perspiration and shaking withpassion, the fellow stormed and raved like a demoniac, and, if Berry hadnot stepped in front of the bonnet and, taking him by the arm, led himagain to the back of the car, I believe he would have fallen down in afit. 

"Are you ready?" I called. 

A hurricane of affirmatory invective answered me. 

I started the engine, changed into first and let in the clutch. As Ichanged into second, uprose a medley of cries and barking. I leaned out, exhorting the pedestrians by words and gestures to come aboard.... 

Head up, teeth bared, fists clenched and arms working, Mr. Dunkelsbaumwas running like a stag. Berry was loping along just behind, apparentlyoffering encouragement and advice, while the Sealyham was alternatelyrunning and jumping up and down in front of the frantic alien, barkingas if he were possessed. Even as I looked, the inevitable happened. Nobby miscalculated his distance and landed too close to the object ofhis attentions, Berry gave a warning, but belated, shout, and Mr. Dunkelsbaum made a desperate effort to avoid the stumbling-block, tripped, recovered himself, crossed his legs, and with an unearthly cryfell heavily to the ground. 

I changed into third speed. 

As we swung round the corner at the top of the hill, I threw a glanceover my shoulder. 

Berry was sitting on the bank by the side of the road with his head inhis hands, Mr. Dunkelsbaum had risen to his feet and was in the act ofhurling himself in the direction of Nobby, and the latter, with hissmall tail well over his back, was circling delightedly about hisvictim, still barking like a fiend and ricochetting like a rouletteball. 

The next moment we were out of sight, and I changed into top speed. 

Adèle caught at my arm. 

"You're not going to leave them?"

I nodded. 

"Best way out, " I said. "Berry'll understand and pull out somehow. Yousee, we're too well known about here to take any chances. And now Ithink we'll slip along to _The Fountain_ and find Sir Anthony. "

"You tell me I speak good English, " said Adèle. 

"So you do. "

"Well, I don't want to spoil my record. What's the Anglo-Saxon for 'athaw-proof nerve '?"

"Can't be done, " said I. "But I can put your mouth into Italian. _Boccabella carissima. _ Now, isn't that nice?"

The sweet pretty lips began to tremble with laughter. 

"You're incorrigible, " she announced. "Fifteen long months, and youhaven't changed a bit. "

"Long months, Adèle?"

The soft rose of her cheeks was glowing as she turned to reply. 

"The longest I've ever spent, " she said softly. "That--that's the worstof cutting your hair. I thought it was never going to grow. "

"They've been very long ones for me, Adèle. "

Up went the delicate eyebrows. 

"Have they?"

I nodded. 

"A close scrutiny will reveal that my hair, once a rich mud colour, isnow flecked with grey. "

"I should attribute that to the march of Time. "

I shook my head. 

"The responsibility, " I said, "rests with the United States of America. Seriously, I missed you terribly. "

"That, " said Adèle, "I refuse to believe. If you had, you would havepaid us a visit. "

"I was not invited. "

Adèle shrugged her shoulders. 

"Any old way, " she announced, "I'm here now. And, while we're on thesubject of hair, please remember that since you last saw me, I've putmine up. "

"Which means?"

"That I am a dangerous woman of the world, who gives nothing and takeseverything--with a grain of salt. I warn you, I've changed. "

"Unquestionably, " said I, "you have had a violent love-affair. That isas plain as is the dainty nose upon your charming face. "

Adèle regarded me with a dazzling smile. 

"I forgot, " she said, "that I was addressing an expert. Tell me, d'youthink I shall get over it?"

"If you don't, " said I, "it shan't be my fault. "

"You're very good. "

"Not at all, " said I. "Can you spell 'homoeopathy'?"

 * * * * *

For a man who had just parted with the home of his fathers, poor old SirAnthony was in high spirits. Lock, stock and barrel, Merry Down had beensold to the highest bidder. Of that there was no manner of doubt. Whatwas more to the point was that the purchaser, who had paid a good price, was of English blood, and had known Derry Bagot at Eton, and soldieredwith him first in South Africa and afterwards in France. The place hadpassed into good clean hands and was to be well cared for. 

"A very civil fellow, " said Sir Anthony, whom we had brought back toWhite Ladies to tea, "and a sportsman. I'm truly thankful. Spoke sonicely of Derry--said he'd always looked up to him and he was proud tothink he was to carry on his--his home. " His voice faltered, andsomething of the old stricken look hung for an instant in the keen greyeyes. The next moment it was ousted by the flash of victory, and theywere bent upon me. "So you deported the alien to Ramilly? Gad, but I'd've liked to see the terrier bring him down. "

As he spoke there was the noise of a familiar scamper, and a momentlater Nobby had hurled himself across the terrace into my lap and waslicking my face with an enthusiastic violence which could not have beenmore pronounced if he had not seen me for years. 

And in his wake came Berry. 

I had told Sir Anthony that, if he desired to thank any one, he mustthank my brother-in-law, because, but for the latter's quick wit. MerryDown would have fallen into the enemy's hands. But, when the old baronethad clapped him upon the back, Berry nodded at me. 

"I believe, " he said, "I was the first to conceive the felony. Thatcomes of being a magistrate. But that's the merchant who carried it out. Largely at my expense, I admit. But that's a matter for him and me tosettle. I tell you, Sir Anthony, you must thank him--andthe--er--hell-hound. A more masterly display of devilry I neverwitnessed. " He sank into a chair. "Let refreshment be brought me. "

Daphne blew him a kiss. 

"One moment, old chap. Did the servants see you come in?"

Her husband nodded. 

"Then there'll be some fresh tea in a moment. And now, what happened?We're simply wild to hear. "

"Yes, " cried Jill eagerly. "And did you really call him 'Stunkenblotch'?And what happened to his boot? And where----"

"The last thing we saw, " said Adèle, "was the fellow get up and go forNobby. You were sitting by the side of the road. "

"And before you begin, " said I, "let me say that I wouldn't have leftyou, brother, if I could have thought of any other way out. But itseemed the only thing to do. "

Berry put up his hand. 

"Strange as it may seem, " he said, "for once I don't blame you. If Ihadn't been so weak with laughter I might have boarded the car, but itwas then or never. I didn't expect you to wait. "

"How did you get on?"

"I fear, " said Berry, "that Mr. Dunkelsbaum did expect the car to bewaiting at the top of the hill. What he said when he found that theroad, which we could see for about five furlongs, was unoccupied, Ishall try to forget. Suffice it that he perspired with great freedom, and for a long time appeared to be afflicted with an impediment in hisspeech. Occasionally he addressed me in Patagonian, but since the onlywords I could remember were _schloss_, _ausgang_ and _bahnhof_, myreplies, judging from their reception, were unsatisfactory andsometimes, I grieve to think, even irrelevant. 

"Presently I suggested that we should return for his boot. For this hesought, whilst I detained Nobby. I had recommended that the latter'sservices should be employed in the search, but the bare suggestionprovoked such a shocking outburst of profanity that I said no more. When, after exploring the undergrowth for nearly half an hour, hesuddenly descried his footgear lodged in the branches of a neighbouringash, Mr. Dunkelsbaum's behaviour gave me cause to fear for his reason. My theory that some dim-sighted fowl must have mistaken the truant for apiece of refuse met with a furious dismissal, and, from the perfectlypoisonous stare with which he declined my offer of assistance to securehis quarry, I was forced to the conclusion that he associated me withits elevation. This discovery caused me much pain, but the rude man wassoon to pay dearly for his foul suspicion. True, he got it down: but itseemed as if the ravages of wear and tear, to say nothing of itsimmersion, had heavily discounted the value of the boot as an article ofwearing apparel, for, after several agonized endeavours to replace itupon his foot, Mr. Dunkelsbaum screamed, flung it down, spat upon it, and offered up what I took to be a short prayer for immediate death. 

"After this horrible exhibition of temper, I felt that no useful purposecould be served by remaining within sight or earshot of the abandonedcreature, so I released the terrier and made ready to depart. 

"'Herr Splodgenblunk, ' I said, 'I must now leave you. Should you bestill anxious to arrive at Bloat, you cannot do better than----'

"He interrupted me with a terrible cry. 

"'I vos neffer vant to 'ave arrive at Bloat!'

"'But you said----'

"'No! No!' he raved. 'It vos _Brrrooch_, I 'ave say--_Brrrooch_!'

"I affected the utmost surprise. 

"'Oh, Brooch. Why, we came miles out of our way. Brooch is over there. Back the way we came, out of the enclosure, and the first on the right. That's the worst of a Scotch accent. '"

Berry paused for the laughter to subside. As it died down--

"That, " said I, "was refined cruelty. "

"I confess, " said Berry, "that, compared with the paroxysm whichsucceeded my statement, its predecessors were pale and colourless. Indeed, but for a timely diversion, I believe the gent would have goneup in smoke. 

"You see, it was like this. 

"Ever since his release, Nobby had evinced a pardonable curiosityregarding Mr. Dunkelsbaum's bootless foot. Unknown to its owner, he hadsubjected this remarkable member to the closest scrutiny, and it was inthe midst of the other's spirited study of 'A Lost Soul' that he decidedto remove the objectionable cloak or covering, which it is charity todescribe as a sock. 

"It was, of course, unmannerly. The dog should have controlled hismorbid thirst for knowledge. But there you are. Still, it was imprudentof Mr. Dunkelsbaum to kick him in the ribs. I felt that instinctively. Had the gentleman remained to argue, I should have said as much. But hedidn't. 

"Going extremely short upon the near fore, he rocketed down the hill, with Nobby in the immediate future, barking like a fiend and striving, so to speak, to take Time by the forelock. From the fragment of cashmerewith which he presently returned, I fear that he was successful. 

"And there you are. All things considered, if he's still alive, I shouldthink he'd make Brooch about half-past eight. "

"He may get a lift, " said Jonah. 

"Not he. Once bitten, twice shy. After all, he asked for it, didn't he?And now shall I have some tea? Or would that be greedy?"

Sir Anthony wiped his eyes. 

"If he'd known you, " he crowed, "as well as I do, he'd 've been morecareful. Who sups with the devil should hold a long spoon. "

"I don't know what you mean, sir, " said Berry. "I'm a respectable----"

"Exactly, " said I. "And meek. Thanks to Uranus. "

CHAPTER X

HOW ADÈLE BROKE HER DREAM, AND VANDY PLEYDELL TOOK EXERCISE. 

"What, again?" said I, staring at the breakfast-cup which Jill wasoffering me, that I might pass it to Daphne. "How many more cups is hegoing to drink? He's had three to my knowledge. "

"That vessel, " said Berry, "was passed to you for information andimmediate action. So, as they say in the Army, close your perishin' headand get down to it. "

"What you want, " said I, "is a bucket. Or a private urn. "

"What's the matter with a trough?" said Jonah. "That'd be more inkeeping. "

Berry turned to Adèle. 

"You see?" he said. "Two putrid minds with but a single snort. But thereyou are. Don't dwell on it. Pass the marmalade instead. " He turned tohis wife. "And what's the programme for to-day? The glass has gone up, it's already raining, 'all's right with the world. ' Anybody like to playping-pong?"

"Fool, " said his wife. "As a matter of fact, I don't think it would be abad idea if we went over to Broken Ash for tea. " Berry made a grimace, and Jill and I groaned. Even Jonah looked down his nose at thesuggestion. "Yes, " my sister continued, "I didn't think it'd be apopular move, but I'd like Adèle to see the pictures, and we haven'tshown a sign of life since we left Town. "

At Broken Ash lived the other branch of the Pleydell family, consistingof our Cousin Vandy and his two sisters. Between them and us there waslittle love lost. Of their jealousy of Berry, but for whose birth WhiteLadies would have passed into their hands, they made but an open secret;and, when he married my sister, who was his second cousin, and theMansels--Cousins Jonah and Jill--had thrown in their lot with us, relations had become more strained than before. The conventions were, however, observed. Calendars were exchanged at Christmas, birthdays wererecognized with a cold epistolary nod, and occasional calls were paidand invitations issued. Their possession of all but two of the familyportraits was undoubted, and with nine points of the law in their favourthey were well armed. It was an open question whether the tenth point, which was ours, was sufficiently doughty to lay the other nine by theheels. Years ago counsel had advised that the law was dead in ourfavour, but it was certain that Vandy and his sisters would resist anyclaim we made with great bitterness, and the settlement of a familyquarrel in the public ring of the High Court was more than we couldstomach. 

Still, the pictures were worth seeing. There were a Holbein, a Van Dyck, three Gainsboroughs, and two from the brush of Reynolds among them, and, so soon as she had learned of their existence, Adèle had evinced aneagerness to be shown the collection. 

There was a moment's silence. Then--

"I'd hate to think you were going for my sake, " said Adèle. 

"We're not, dear, " said Daphne. "Even if you weren't here, we shouldhave to go some day soon. "

"Yes, " said Berry. "We hate one another like poison, but we've neverdeclared war. Consequently, diplomatic relations are still maintained, and in due season we meet and are charmingly offensive to one another. When war broke out they were very sticky about billeting a few Yeomanrychargers, and crawled and lied about their stabling till the authoritiesgot fed up and commandeered all they'd got. Therefore, whenever we meet, I chivvy the conversation in the direction of horseflesh. In the sameway, having regard to the burglary which we suffered last month, Vandywill spread himself on the subject of old silver. The moment they heardof it, they sent us a triumphant telegram of condolence. "

My sister laughed. 

"If you say much more, " she said, "Adèle will be afraid to come with us. I admit it's a duty call, pure and simple. All the same, there won't beany bloodshed. "

"I'm ready for anything, " said Addle thoughtfully. "Shall I wear a redor white rose?"

"Don't tell us you can control your cheeks, " said I. "It's unheard of. And why are you so pensive this morning? Is it because of Ireland? Orhave you trodden on your sponge?"

"I believe she's broken the soap-dish, " said Berry, "and is afraid totell us. "

"Don't tease her, " said Jill. "Why shouldn't she be quiet if she likes?"

But Adèle was bubbling with laughter. 

"The truth is, " she announced, "I'm trying to remember a dream I hadlast night. " She looked across the table to me. "You know what it is todream something rather vivid and interesting, and then not to be able toremember what it was?"

I nodded. 

"But you can't do anything, " I said. "It's no good trying to rememberit. Either you'll think of it, or you won't. "

"Exactly, " said my brother-in-law. "There's no other alternative. It'sone of the laws of Nature. I well remember dreaming that I was a disusedcolumbarium which had been converted into a brewery and was used as agreenhouse. I was full of vats and memorial tablets and creepinggeraniums. Just as they were going to pull me down to make room for acinema, Daphne woke me up to say there was a bat in the room. I repliedsuitably, but, before turning over to resume my slumbers, I tried torecapture my dream. My efforts were vain. It was gone for ever. "

"Then how d'you know what it was about?" said Jill. 

"I don't, " said Berry. "What I have told you is pure surmise. And nowwill you pass me the toast, or shall I come and get it?"

Choking with indignation, Jill stretched out a rosy hand in thedirection of the toastrack.... Suddenly the light of mischief leapt intoher grey eyes, and she called Nobby. In a flash the Sealyham--never sovigilant as at meal-time--was by her side. Cheerfully she gave him thelast piece of toast. Then she turned to Berry with a seraphic smile. 

"I'm afraid there's none left, " he said. 

 * * * * *

Before we had finished lunch, the rain had ceased, and by the time wewere under weigh, _en route_ for Broken Ash, the afternoon sun wasturning a wet world into a sweet-smelling jewel. Diamonds dripped fromher foliage, emerald plumes glistened on every bank, silver lay spiltupon her soft brown roads. No scent-bag was ever stuffed with such rarespicery. Out of the dewy soil welled up the fresh clean breath of magicspikenard, very precious. 

Punctually at half-past four we swept up the avenue of poplars that ledto our cousins' house. 

The visit had been arranged by Daphne upon the telephone, and Vandy andhis two sisters were ready and waiting.... 

The _réunion_ was not cordial. Ease and Familiarity were not among theguests. But it was eminently correct. The most exacting Master ofCeremonies, the most severe authority upon Etiquette, would have beensatisfied. We were extraordinarily polite. We made engagingconversation, we begged one another's pardon, we enjoyed one another'sjokes. The dispensation and acceptance of hospitality did the respectiveforces infinite credit. 

After tea we were taken to see the pictures. Vandy, as showman, naturally escorted Adèle. The rest of us, decently grouped about hissisters, followed like a party of sightseers in the wake of a verger. 

To do our host justice, he knew his own fathers. For what it was worth, the history of the Pleydell family lay at his fingers' ends. Men, manners and exploits--he knew them all. Indeed, years ago he hadcollected his knowledge and had it published in the form of a book. Wehad a copy somewhere. 

We were half-way along the gallery, and our cousin was in full blast, when Adèle, to whom he was introducing the portraits with triumphantunction, started forward with a low cry. 

"That's the very man, " she exclaimed, pointing at the picture of amiddle-aged gentleman in a plum-coloured coat, which, I seemed toremember, was unsigned but attributed--without much confidence--to thebrush of Gonzales Coques. "What an extraordinary thing! I've broken mydream. "

In the twinkling of an eye Vandy's importance was snatched from him, andthe prophet's mantle had fallen upon Adèle. Where, but a moment before, he had been strutting in all the pride of a proprietor, she held thestage. More. Neither our discomfited host nor his sisters could divinewhat was toward, and the fact that their guests crowded eagerly aboutAdèle, encouraging her to "let them have it, " was more disconcertingthan ever. 

"It was in a garden, " said Adèle, "a quiet sort, of place. I think I waswalking behind him. I don't know how I got there, but he didn't see me. All the same, he kept looking round, as if he was afraid he was beingwatched. Presently we came to a place where there was a stone pedestalstanding. It wasn't exactly a pillar--it wasn't high enough. And it wastoo high for a seat. Well, he stared at this for a moment; then helooked around again, very cautiously, and then--it sounds idiotic, buthe began to prod the turf with his stick. At first he did it justcasually, here and there: but, after a little, he started prodding atregular intervals, methodically. The ground was quite soft, and hisstick seemed to go in like a skewer. Suddenly he seemed to hearsomething or somebody, for he listened very carefully, and then walkedon tiptoe to the pedestal and leaned up against it as if he wereresting. The next moment somebody--some man in ordinary clothes came outof.... " She hesitated. "I don't know whether it was some bushes or awall he came out of. Some bushes, I guess. Any way, he appeared, and--don't laugh--gave him a green tomato. Then I woke up. "

"And this is the man you saw?" cried Daphne, pointing. 

Adèle nodded. 

"Dress and everything. He was wearing the same plumed hat and thatidentical coat, buttoned all down the front, with the pockets low downon either side. And I'll never forget his face. That's a wonderfulpicture. It's life-like. "

"What an extraordinary thing!" said I. Then I turned to Vandy. "Has thisportrait ever been reproduced?"

He did not seem to hear me. 

With dropped jaw and bulging eyes, the fellow was staring at Adèle, staring.... 

Suddenly, as with an effort, he pulled himself together. 

"Was that all you saw?" he said hoarsely. 

Adèle pondered. 

"I think so, " she said slowly. "Except that there were some words carvedon the pedestal. PER ... IMP ... PERIMP, ... No. That wasn't it. Something like that. Not English. I can't remember. "

"Ah!"

Berry took up the running. 

"You say the merchant was prodding the ground?" he said. 

"That's right. It sounds silly, but----"

"Not at all, " said Berry excitedly. "He was looking for something. It'sas clear as daylight. " He turned to the picture. "That's WilliamPleydell, isn't it, Vandy? Seventeenth-century bloke. The one Pepysmentions. "

My cousin nodded abstractedly. With unseeing eyes he was staring out ofa window. It was patent that Adèle's recital had affected himstrangely.... 

Berry laid a hand on his arm. 

"Where's the book you wrote?" he said gently. "That may throw some lighton it. "

One of our hostesses turned, as though she would fetch the volume. 

"It went to be rebound yesterday, " cried Vandy in a strained, penetrating voice. 

His sister stopped and stood still in her tracks. A moment later she hadturned back and was murmuring a confirmation. 

Jonah, who had been busy with a pencil and the back of an envelope, limped towards us from one of the windows. 

"The pedestal was a sundial, " he said. Vandy looked at him sharply. Heturned to Adèle. "PER ... IMP ... You said. Try PEREUNT ET IMPUTANTUR. Latin. 'The hours pass and are charged against us. ' You'll find thephrase on five sundials out of six. "

A buzz of excited applause greeted this admirable contribution. 

Adèle looked at the written words. "You are clever, " she said. "Ofcourse, that's it. It must be. "

Vandy's reception of Jonah's discovery convinced me that it had alreadyoccurred to him. He applauded theatrically. The fellow was playing apart, feverishly. Besides, I did not believe his rotten book was beingrebound. That was a lie. There was something there which he did not wantus to see. Not a doubt of it. Well, we had a copy at White Ladies. No!Our copy was in Town. Hang it! What a sweep the man was!

With a horse-laugh he interrupted my reflections. 

"Well, well, Miss Feste, I confess you gave me a shock. Still, if youhad to meet one of our forefathers, I could have wished it had been anyother than the notorious William. We enjoy his portrait, but we deplorehis memory. Ha! Ha! Now, we're really proud of the next one--his cousin, James Godstow Pleydell. He it was who was responsible----"

"Forgive me, " purred Daphne, "but I'm going to say we must fly. I'd noidea it was so late. People are coming to dinner, and we must go back byBrooch, because we've run out of ice. "

Our host protested--not very heartily--and was overruled. Mutual regretwas suitably expressed. Without more ado we descended into the hall. Here at the front door the decencies of leave-taking were observed. Thehost and hostesses were thanked, the parting guests sped. A momentlater, we were sliding down the avenue to the lodge-gates. As we swungon to the road--

"Where's the book?" said Daphne. "That man's a liar. "

"At Cholmondeley Street, " said I. "But you're right about Vandy. He'strying to keep something back. "

"He's so excited he doesn't know what to do, " said Daphne. "That'sclear. "

"Well, what the deuce is it?" said Berry. "I've read the blinkin' book, but I'll swear there's nothing in it about buried treasure. "

"Whatever it is, " said I, "it's in that book. I'll get it to-morrow. D'you really want any ice?"

Daphne shook her head. 

"But I couldn't stay there with that man another minute. "

Adèle lifted up her sweet voice. 

"I feel very guilty, " she said. "I've upset you all, I've giveneverything away to your cousin with both hands, and I've----"

"Nonsense, darling, " said Daphne. "You did the natural thing. How couldyou know----"

Jonah interrupted her with a laugh. 

"One thing's certain, " he said. "I'll bet old Vandy's cursing the day herushed into print. "

 * * * * *

Upon reflection it seemed idle for any one of us to journey to Londonand back merely to fetch a volume, so the next morning one of theservants was dispatched instead, armed with a note to the housekeeper atCholmondeley Street, telling her exactly where the book would be found. 

The man returned as we were finishing dinner, and _The History of thePleydell Family_ was brought to Berry while we sat at dessert. 

Nuts and wine went by the board. 

As my brother-in-law cut the string, we left our places and crowdedabout him.... 

Reference to the index bade us turn to page fifty-four. 

As the leaves flicked, we waited breathlessly. Then--

"Here we are, " said Berry. "'WILLIAM PLEYDELL. In 1652 Nicholas died, tobe succeeded by his only child, William, of whom little is known. Thisis perhaps as well, for such information as is to hand, regarding hislife and habits, shows him to have been addicted to no ordinarily evilways. The lustre which his father and grandfather had added to thefamily name William seems to have spared no effort to tarnish. Whenprofligacy was so fashionable, a man must have lived hard indeed toattract attention. Nevertheless, Samuel Pepys, the Diarist, refers tohim more than once, each time commenting upon the vileness of hiscompany and his offensive behaviour. Upon one occasion, we are told, atthe play-house the whole audience was scandalized by a _loose drunkenfrolic, _ in which _Mr. William Pleydell, a gentleman of Hampshire, _played a disgraceful part. What was worse, he carried his dissolutehabits into the countryside, and at one time his way of living at thefamily seat White Ladies was so openly outrageous that the incumbent ofBilberry actually denounced the squire from the pulpit, referring to himas 'a notorious evil-liver' and 'an abandoned wretch. ' If not for hisgood name, however, for the house and pleasure-gardens he seems to havehad some respect, for it was during his tenure that the stables wererebuilt and the gardens decorated with statuary which has sincedisappeared. '_A sundial_'"--the sensation which the word produced wasprofound, and Jill cried out with excitement--"'_a sundial, bearing thedate 1663 and the cipher W. P. , still stands in the garden of the olddower-house, which passed out of the hands of the family early in thenineteenth century. _'"

Berry stopped reading, and laid the book down. 

"The dower-house?" cried Daphne blankly. 

Her husband nodded. 

"But I never knew there was one. Besides----"

"Better known to-day as 'The Lawn, Bilberry. '"

"Quite right, " said Jonah. "A hundred years ago that stood inside thepark. "

"The Lawn?" cried Jill. "Why, that's where the fire was. Years and yearsago. I remember old Nanny taking me down to see it the next day. Andit's never been rebuilt. "

"To my knowledge, " said I, "it's had a board up, saying it's for sale, for the last fifteen years. Shall we go in for it? They can't want much. The house is gutted, the garden's a wilderness, and----"

A cry from Adèle interrupted me. While we were talking, she had pickedup the volume. 

"Listen to this, " she said. "' William Pleydell died unmarried andintestate in 1667, and was succeeded by his cousin Anthony. Except thatduring the former's tenure a good deal of timber was cut, White Ladieshad been well cared for. The one blot upon his stewardship was thedisappearance of the greater part of the family plate, which NicholasPleydell's will proves to have been unusually rare and valuable. _Thereused to exist a legend, for which the author can trace no foundation, that William had brought it from London during the Great Plague andburied it, for want of a strong-room, at White Ladies. _ A far moreprobable explanation is that its graceless inheritor surreptitiouslydisposed of the treasure for the same reason as he committed waste, viz. , to spend the proceeds upon riotous living. '"

Dumbly we stared at the reader.... 

The murder was out. 

Berry whipped out his watch. 

"Nine o'clock, " he announced. "We can do nothing to-night. And thatsweep Vandy's got a long lead. We haven't a moment to lose. Who are theagents for The Lawn?"

"It's on the board, " said I, "and I've read it a thousand times, but I'mhanged if I can remember whether it's Miller of Brooch, or a Londonfirm. "

"Slip over there the first thing in the morning, " said Jonah. "If it'sMiller, so much the better. You can go straight on to Brooch. If it's aLondon man--well, there's always the telephone. "

"I hope to heaven, " said Daphne, "it's--it's still for sale. "

"Vandy's got Scotch blood in him, " said Berry. "He won't lay out fifteenhundred or so without looking round. "

"More like three thousand, " said Jonah. 

"It's a lot of money to risk, " said Daphne slowly. 

"Yes, " said Adèle anxiously. "I feel that. I know it's your affair, but, if it hadn't been for my dream, this would never have happened. Andsupposing there's nothing in it.... I mean, it would be dreadful tothink you'd thrown away all that money and gotten nothing in exchange. And they always say that dreams are contrary. "

"Let's face the facts, " said my brother-in-law. "Taking everything intoconsideration, doesn't it look like a vision, or second sight?"

We agreed vociferously. Only Adèle looked ill at ease. 

Berry continued. 

"Very well, then. Less than a month ago all our silver was taken off usby comic burglars. Doesn't it look as if we were being offered thechance of replacing it by something better?"

Again we agreed. 

"Lastly, the insurance company has paid up to the tune of four thousandpounds, which amount is now standing to the credit of my deposit accountat Coutts'. I tell you, if we don't have a dart, we shall be mad. "

"I agree, " said I. 

"So do I, " cried Jill. "I'm all for it. "

Only Daphne and Jonah hesitated. 

I laid my hand upon the former's shoulder. 

"Supposing, " I said, "we take no action, but Vandy does. Supposing hestrikes oil and lands the stuff under our noses.... Wouldn't youcheerfully blow the four thousand just to avoid that?"

My sister's eyes flashed, and Jonah's chin went up. 

"Anything, " said Daphne emphatically, "anything would be better thanthat. "

So was the decision made. 

We adjourned to the drawing-room, and for the rest of the eveningdiscussed the matter furiously. 

The suggestion that Vandy would not wait to buy, but had already got towork at The Lawn, was summarily dismissed. Our cousin was too cautiousfor that. He knew that the moment we had the book, we should be as wiseas he, and that, since we were at loggerheads, we should certainly notsit quietly by and permit him to enrich himself to our teeth, when aword to the owners of The Lawn would compel him to disgorge any treasurehe found. No, Vandy was no fool. He would walk circumspectly, and buyfirst and dig afterwards. 

It was Jonah who raised the question of "treasure trove. " In someuneasiness we sought for a book of law. Investigation, however, satisfied us that, if the plate were ever unearthed, the Crown would notinterfere. Evidence that an ancestor had buried it was available, andreference to the will of Nicholas would establish its identity. Whetherit belonged to us or to Vandy was another matter, but Reason suggestedthat Law and Equity alike would favour the party in whose land it wasfound. 

We ordered breakfast early and the car at a quarter to nine, but, forall that, it was past midnight before we went to bed. 

The next morning, for once in a way, we were up to time. Two minutesafter the quarter we were all six in the car, and it was not yet nineo'clock when Jonah pulled up in the shade of a mighty oak less than ahundred paces from the tall iron gates which stood gaunt, rusty andforbidding, to mar the beauty of the quiet by-road. 

So far as we could see there was no one about, but we were anxious notto attract attention, so Berry and I alighted and strolled casuallyforward. 

The object of our visit was, of course, to learn from the board in whosehands the property had been placed for sale. But we had decided that, ifit were possible, we must effect an entrance, to see whether the turfabout the sundial had been disturbed. Moreover, if we could get Adèleinside, it would be highly interesting to see whether she recognized theplace. 

Wired on to the mouldering gates, a weather-beaten board glared at us. 

_FREEHOLDwith immediate possessionTO BE SOLDThis Very DesirableOLD-WORLD MANSIONStanding in three acres of pleasure groundsAnd only requiring certain structural repairsTo be made an ideal modern residence. F. R. MILLER, Estate Agent, High St. , Brooch. _

Considering that the house had been gutted nearly twenty years ago, andhad stood as the fire had left it from then until now, the advertisementwas euphemistic. 

By dint of peering between the corrupted bars, it was possible to seefor ourselves the desolation. A press of nettles crowded about thescorched and blackened walls, square gaping mouths, that had beenwindows, showed from the light within that there was no roof, while hereand there charred timbers thrust their unsightly way from out of a riotof brambles, wild and disorderly. What we could see of the garden was avery wilderness. Tall rank grass flourished on every side, carriage-wayand borders alike had been blotted into a springing waste, and the fewsprawling shrubs which we could recognize hardly emerged from beneaththe choking smother of luxuriant bindweed. 

The gates were chained and padlocked. But they were not difficult toscale, and in a moment Berry and I were over and standing knee-deep inthe long wet grass. 

Stealthily we made our way to the back of the house.... 

The sundial was just visible. The grass of what had once been a trimlawn rose up about the heavy pedestal, coarse and tumultuous. But it wasuntouched. No foot of man or beast had trodden it--lately, at any rate. 

Simultaneously we heaved sighs of relief. 

Then--

"Adèle'll never recognize this, " said Berry. "It's hopeless. What shesaw was a lawn, not a prairie. " I nodded. "Still, " he went on, "thereused to be a door in the wall--on the east side. " As he spoke, he turnedand looked sharply at the haggard building. "Thought I heard something, "he added. 

"Did you?"

I swung on my heel, and together we stared and listened. Eyes and earsalike went unrewarded. The silence of desolation hung like a raggedpall, gruesome and deathly.... 

Without a word we passed to the east of the ruin. After a little we cameto the door in the wall. Here was no lock, and with a little patience wedrew the bolts and pulled the door open. It gave on to a little lane, which ran into the by-road at a point close to where the others werewaiting. 

I left Berry and hastened back to the car. 

Exclamations of surprise greeted my issuing from the lane, and I couldread the same unspoken query in four faces at once. 

"We're first in the field so far, " I said. There was a gasp of relief. "Come along. We've found a way for you. "

Adèle and Jill were already out of the car. Daphne and Jonah made hasteto alight. 

"Think we can leave her?" said Jonah, with a nod at the Rolls. 

"Oh, yes. We shan't be a minute. "

Hurriedly we padded back the way I had come. Berry was still at thedoor, and in silence we followed him to where he and I had stood lookingand listening a few minutes before. 

"O-o-oh!" cried Jill, in an excited whisper. 

"What about it, Adèle?" said Berry. 

Adèle looked about her, knitting her brows. Then--

"I'm afraid to say anything, " she said. "It may be the place I sat. Ican't say it isn't. But it's so altered. I think, if the grass wascut.... "

"What did I say?" said my brother-in-law. 

"But the pedestal was exactly that height. That I'll swear. And it stoodon a step. "

"What did the words look like?" said I. 

"They were carved in block letters on the side of the cornice. "

As carefully as I could, I stepped to the sundial. As I came up to it, my foot encountered a step.... 

The column was unusually massive, and the dial must have been two feetsquare. Lichened and weather-beaten, an inscription upon the cornice wasyet quite easy to read. 

PEREUNT ET IMPUTANTUR

And the words were carved in block lettering.... 

A buzz of excitement succeeded my report. Then Daphne turned quickly andlooked searchingly at the house. 

"I feel as if we were being watched, " she said, shuddering. "Let's getback to the car. "

As Jonah followed the girls into the lane--

"What about bolting the door?" said I. 

Berry shook his head. 

"Doesn't matter, " he said. "Any way, we've trodden the grass down. Besides, there's nothing to hide. "

We dragged the door to and hastened after the others. 

As we climbed into the car, Jonah started the engine. 

"What are the orders?" he said. "Is Miller the agent? You never said. "

"Yes, " said I. "We'd better go straight to Brooch. "

Our way lay past the main entrance of The Lawn. 

As we approached this, Jonah exclaimed and set his foot on the brake. 

Leaning against the wall was a bicycle, and there was a man's figurebusy about the gates. He appeared to be climbing over.... 

As we came up alongside, he looked at us curiously. Then he went on withhis work. 

A moment later he slid a pair of pliers into his pocket and, wringingthe board clear of its fastenings, lowered it to the ground. 

We were too late. 

The Lawn was no longer for sale. 

 * * * * *

Our chagrin may be imagined more easily than it can be described. 

We returned to White Ladies in a state of profound depression, alternately cursing Vandy and upbraiding ourselves for not having sentfor the book upon the evening of the day of our visit to Broken Ash. 

Jonah reproached himself bitterly for giving our cousin the benefit ofhis detective work, although both Daphne and I were positive that Vandyhad identified the pedestal from Adèle's description before Jonah hadvolunteered the suggestion that it was a sundial. 

As for Adèle, she was inconsolable. 

It was after lunch--a miserable meal--when we were seated upon theterrace, that Berry cleared his throat and spoke wisely and to thepoint. 

"The milk's spilt, " he said, "and that's that. So we may as well dry oureyes. With that perishing motto staring us in the face, we might havehad the sense to be a bit quicker off the mark. But it's always theobvious that you never see. Vandy's beaten us by a foul, but there ain'tno stewards to appeal to, so we've got to stick it. All the same, he'sgot some digging to do before he can draw the money, and I'm ready tolay a monkey that he does it himself. What's more, the last thing he'llwant is to be disturbed. In fact, any interference with his work ofexcavation will undoubtedly shorten his life. Properly organizedinnocent interference will probably affect his reason. Our course ofaction is therefore clear. 

"Unable to procure his beastly book--our copy cannot be found--we haveforgotten the incident. It comes to our ears that he has bought The Lawnand is in possession. What more natural than that some of us shouldrepair thither, to congratulate him upon becoming our neighbour? Weshall roll up quite casually--by way of the door in the wall--and, whenwe find him labouring, affect the utmost surprise. Of our good nature wemight even offer to help him to--er--relay the lawn or tackle thedrains, or whatever he's doing. In any event we shall enact the _rôle_of the village idiot, till between the respective gadflies ofsuspicion--which he dare not voice--and impatience--which he dare notreveal--he will be goaded into a condition of frenzy. What about it?"

The idea was heartily approved, and we became more cheerful. 

Immediate arrangements were made for the entrance to The Lawn to bewatched for the next twenty-four hours by reliefs of out-door servantswhom we could trust, and instructions were issued that the moment Mr. Vandy Pleydell put in an appearance, whether by day or night, we were tobe informed. 

At eight o'clock the next morning Berry came into my room. 

"They're off, " he said. "Thirty-five minutes ago Vandy and Emma and Mayarrived, unaccompanied, in a four-wheeled dogcart. He'd got the key ofthe gates, but the difficulty of getting them open single-handed appearsto have been titanic. They seem to have stuck, or something. Altogether, according to James, a most distressing scene. However. Eventually theygot inside and managed to shut the gates after them. In the dogcartthere was a scythe and a whole armoury of tools. "

I got out of bed and looked at him. 

"After breakfast?" I queried. 

My brother-in-law nodded. 

"I think so. We'll settle the premises as we go. "

 * * * * *

As we were approaching The Lawn, I looked at my watch. It was just aquarter to ten. 

The little door in the wall was still unbolted, and a very littleexpenditure of energy sufficed to admit my brother-in-law, Nobby, andmyself into the garden. 

So far as the Sealyham was concerned, 'the Wilderness was Paradiseenow. ' Tail up, he plunged into the welter of grass, leaping andwallowing and panting with surprise and delight at a playground whichsurpassed his wildest dreams. For a moment we watched him amusedly. Thenwe pushed the door to and started to saunter towards the house. 

It was a glorious day, right at the end of August. Out of a flawless skythe sun blazed, broiling and merciless. There was nowhere a breath ofwind, and in the sheltered garden--always a sun-trap--the heat wasstifling. 

As we drew near, the sound of voices, raised in bitterness, fell uponour ears, and we rounded the corner of the building to find Vandywaist-high in the grass about the sundial, shaking a sickle at hissisters, who were seated upon carriage cushions, which had been laidupon the flags, and demanding furiously "how the devil they expected himto reap with a sweeping motion when the god-forsaken lawn was full ofmolehills. "

"Quite right, " said Berry. "It can't be done. "

Emma and May screamed, and Vandy jumped as if he had been shot. Then, with a snarl, he turned to face us, crouching a little, like a beast atbay. Before he could utter a word, Berry was off. 

Advancing with an air of engaging frankness, which would have beguiledthe most hardened cynic, he let loose upon our cousin a voluminous floodof chatter, which drowned his protests ere they were mouthed, overwhelmed his inquiries ere they were launched, and finally swept himoff his feet into the whirlpool of uncertainty, fear and bewildermentbefore he knew where he was. 

We had only just heard of his purchase, were delighted to think we wereto be neighbours, had had no idea he was contemplating a move, hadalways said what a jolly little nook it was, never could understand whyit had been in the market so long, thought we might find him here takinga look round, wanted to see him, so decided to kill two birds with onestone.... What about the jolly old book? Had it come back from thebinders? We couldn't find ours, thought it must be in Town.... The girlswere devilling the life out of him to look it up. Was it William orNicholas? He thought it was William. Hadn't Vandy said it was William?What was the blinking use, any old way? And what a day I He'd got a betwith Jonah that the thermometer touched ninety-seven before noon. Whatdid Vandy think? And what on earth was he doing with the pruning-hook?And/or ploughshare on his left front? Oh, a scythe. Of course. Wouldn'the put it down? It made him tired to look at it. And was he reclaimingthe lawn? Or only looking for a tennis-ball? Of course, what he reallywanted was a cutter-and-binder, a steam-roller, and a gang ofconvicts.... 

I had been prepared to support the speaker, but, after three minutes ofthis, I left his side and sat down on the flags. 

At last Berry paused for breath, and Emma, who had hurriedly composedand been rehearsing a plausible appreciation of the state of affairs, and was fidgeting to get it off her chest, thrust her way into the gap. 

Well, the truth was, they were going to take up French gardening. Therewas no room at Broken Ash, and, besides, they must have a walled garden. Building nowadays was such a frightful expense, and suddenly they'dthought of The Lawn. It was sheltered, just the right size, not too faraway, and all they had to do was to clear the ground. And Vandy was soimpatient that nothing would satisfy him but to start at once. "He'llget tired of it in a day or two, " she added artlessly, "but you knowwhat he is. "

For an improvised exposition of proceedings so extraordinary, I thoughther rendering extremely creditable. 

So, I think, did Vandy, for he threw an approving glance in herdirection, heaved a sigh of relief, and screwed up his mouth into asickly smile. 

"Took up gardening during the War, " he announced. "I--we all did. Anyamount of money in it. Quite surprised me. But, " he added, warming tohis work, "it's the same with gardening as with everything else In thisworld. The most valuable asset is the personal element. If you want athing well done, do it yourself. Ha! Ha!"

My brother-in-law looked round, regarding the howling riot of waste. 

"And where, " he said, "shall you plant the asparagus?"

Vandy started and dropped the sickle. Then he gave a forced laugh. 

"You must give us a chance, " he said. "We've got a long way to go beforewe get to that. All this"--he waved an unbusiness-like arm, and hisvoice faltered--"all this has got to be cleared first. "

"I suppose it has, " said Berry. "Well, don't mind us. You get on withit. Short of locusts or an earthquake, it's going to be a long job. Isuppose you couldn't hire a trench-mortar and shell it for a couple ofmonths?"

Apparently Vandy was afraid to trust his voice, for, after swallowingtwice, he recovered the sickle and started to hack savagely at the grasswithout another word. 

With the utmost deliberation, Berry seated himself upon the flagstonesand, taking out his case, selected a cigarette. With an equallyleisurely air I produced a pipe and tobacco, and began to make ready tosmoke. Our cousins regarded these preparations with an uneasiness whichthey ill concealed. Clearly we were not proposing to move. The silenceof awkwardness and frantically working brains settled upon the company. From time to time Emma and May shifted uncomfortably. As he bent abouthis labour, Vandy's eyes bulged more than ever.... 

Nobby, whom I had forgotten, suddenly reappeared, crawling pleasedlyfrom beneath a tangled stack of foliage, of which the core appeared tohave been a rhododendron. For a moment he stared at us, as if surprisedat the company we kept. Then his eyes fell upon Vandy. 

Enshrined in the swaying grass, the latter's knickerbockers, which hadbeen generously fashioned out of a material which had been boldlyconceived, presented a back view which was most arresting. With his headon one side, the terrier gazed at them with such inquisitiveastonishment that I had to set my teeth so as not to laugh outright. Hiscautious advance to investigate the phenomenon was still more ludicrous, and I was quite relieved when our cousin straightened his back anddissipated an illusion monstrously worthy of the pen of Mandeville. 

But there was better to come. 

As the unwitting Vandy, after a speechless glance in our direction, bentagain to his work, Nobby cast an appraising eye over the area which hadalready received attention. Perceiving a molehill which had suffered anugly gash--presumably from a scythe--he trotted up to explore, and, clapping his nose to the wound, snuffed long and thoughtfully. The nextmoment he was digging like one possessed. 

Emma and May stiffened with a shock. With the tail of my eye I saw themexchange horror-stricken glances. Panic fear sat in their eyes. Theirfingers moved convulsively. Then, with one consent, they began tocough.... 

Their unconscious brother worked on. 

So did the Sealyham, but with a difference. While the one toiled, theother was in his element. A shower of earth flew from between his legs, only ceasing for a short moment, when he preferred to rend the earthwith his jaws and so facilitate the excavation. 

The coughing became insistent, frantic, impossible to be disregarded.... 

As I was in the act of turning to express my concern Vandy looked up, followed the direction of four starting eyes, and let out a screech ofdismay. 

"What on earth's the matter?" cried Berry, getting upon his feet. "Beenstung, or something?"

With a trembling forefinger Vandy indicated the miscreant. 

"Stop him!" he yelled. "Call him off. He'll-he'll spoil the lawn. "

"Ruin it, " shrilled Emma. 

"Where?" said Berry blankly. "What lawn?"

"_This_ lawn!" roared Vandy, stamping his foot. 

"But I thought----"

"I don't care what you thought. Call the brute off. It's my land, and Iwon't have it. "

"Nobby, " said Berry, "come off the bowling green. "

Scrambling to my feet, I countersigned the order in a peremptory tone. Aggrievedly the terrier complied. My brother-in-law turned to Vandy withan injured air. 

"I fear, " he said stiffly, "that we are unwelcome. " Instinctively Emmaand May made as though they would protest. In some dignity Berry liftedhis hand. "I may be wrong, " he said. "I hope so. But from the first Ifelt that your manner was strained. Subsequent events suggest that mybelief was well founded. " He turned to Vandy. "May I ask you to let usout? I am reluctant to trouble you, but to scale those gates twice inone morning is rather more than I care about. "

Fearful lest our surprise at our reception should become crystallizedinto an undesirable suspicion, short of pressing us to remain, ourcousins did everything to smooth our ruffled plumage. 

Vandy threw down the sickle and advanced with an apologetic leer. Emmaand May, wreathed in smiles, protested nervously that they had known thework was too much for Vandy, and begged us to think no more of it. As wefollowed the latter round to the quondam drive, they waved a cordialfarewell. 

The sight of the four-wheeled dogcart, standing with upturned shafts, apickaxe, three shovels, a rake, two forks, a number of sacks, and asieve piled anyhow by its side, was most engaging; but, after bestowinga casual glance upon the paraphernalia, Berry passed by without a word. Vandy went a rich plum colour, hesitated, and then plunged ondesperately. Tethered by a halter to a tree, a partially harnessed baymare suspended the process of mastication to fix us with a suspiciousstare. Her also we passed in silence. 

After a blasphemous struggle with the gates, whose objection to openingwas literally rooted and based upon custom, our host succeeded inforcing them apart sufficiently to permit our egress, and we gave him"Good day. "

In silence we strolled down the road. 

When we came to the lane, Berry stopped dead. 

"Brother, " he said, "I perceive it to be my distasteful duty to return. There is an omission which I must repair. "

"You're not serious?" said I. "The fellow'll murder you. "

"No, he won't, " said Berry. "He'll probably burst a blood-vessel, and, with luck, he may even have a stroke. But he won't murder me. You see. "And, with that, he turned down the lane towards the door in the wall. 

Nobby and I followed. 

A moment later we were once more in the garden. 

The scene upon which we came was big with promise. 

Staggering over the frantic employment of a pickaxe, Vandy wasinflicting grievous injury upon the turf about the very spot at whichthe terrier had been digging. Standing well out of range, his sisterswere regarding the exhibition with clasped hands and looks of mingledexcitement and apprehension. All three were so much engrossed that, until Berry spoke, they were not aware of our presence. 

"I'm so sorry to interrupt you again"--Emma and May screamed, and Vandyendeavoured to check his implement in mid-swing, and only preserved hisbalance and a whole skin as by a miracle--"but, you know, I quite forgotto ask you about the book. And, as that was really our main objectin----"

The roar of a wild beast cut short the speaker. 

Bellowing incoherently, trembling with passion, his mouth working, hiscountenance distorted with rage, Vandy shook his fist at his tormentorin a fit of ungovernable fury. 

"Get out of it!" he yelled. "Get out of it! I won't have this intrusion. It's monstrous. I won't stand it. I tell you----"

"Hush, Vandy, hush!" implored his sisters in agonized tones. 

Berry raised his eyebrows. 

"Really, " he said slowly, "anybody would think that you had something tohide. "

Then he turned on his heel. 

I was about to follow his example, when my cousin's bloodshot eyeperceived that Nobby was once more Innocently investigating the scene ofhis labour. With a choking cry our host sprang forward and raised thepick.... 

Unaware of his peril, the dog snuffed on. 

One of the women screamed.... 

Desperately I flung myself forward. 

The pick was falling as I struck it aside. Viciously it jabbed its wayinto the earth. 

For a long time Vandy and I faced one another, breathing heavily. Iwatched the blood fading out of the fellow's cheeks. At length--

"Be thankful, " said I, "that I was in time. Otherwise----"

I hesitated, and Vandy took a step backwards and put a hand to histhroat. 

"Exactly, " I said. 

Then I plucked the pick from the ground, stepped a few paces apart, and, taking the implement with both hands, spun round and threw it from me asif it had been a hammer. 

It sailed over some lime trees and crashed out of sight into somefoliage. 

Then I called the terrier and strode past my brother-in-law in thedirection of the postern. 

Berry fell in behind and followed me without a word. 

 * * * * *

"But why, " said I, "shouldn't you tell me the day of your birth? I'm notasking the year. "

"1895, " said Adèle. 

I sighed. 

"Why, " she inquired, "do you want to know?"

"So that I can observe the festival as it deserves. Spend the day atMargate, or go to a cinema, or something. I might even wear a falsenose. You never know. It's an important date in my calendar. "

"How many people have you said that to?"

I laughed bitterly. 

"If I told you the truth, " I said, "you wouldn't believe me. "

There was a museful silence. 

It was three days and more since Berry and I had visited The Lawn, andVandy and Co. Were still at work. So much had been reported by anunder-gardener. For ourselves, we had finished with our cousins for goodand all. The brutal attack upon our favourite was something we could notforget, and for a man whom beastly rage could so much degrade we had nouse. Naturally enough, his sisters went with him. Orders were given tothe servants that to callers from Broken Ash Daphne was "not at home, "and we were one and all determined, so far as was possible, never to seeor communicate with Vandy or his sisters again. It was natural, however, that we should be deeply interested in the success or failure of hisventure. We prayed fervently, but without much hope, that it mightfail.... After all, it was always on the cards that another had stumbledlong since upon the treasure, or that a thief had watched its burial andlater come privily and unearthed it. We should see. 

"I wonder you aren't ashamed of yourself, " said Miss Feste. "At your ageyou ought to have sown all your wild oats. "

"So I have, " I said stoutly. "And they weren't at all wild, either. I'venever seen such a miserable crop. As soon as the sun rose, they allwithered away. "

"The sun?"

I turned and looked at her. The steady brown eyes held mine with asearching look. I met it faithfully. After a few seconds they turnedaway. 

"The sun?" she repeated quietly. 

"The sun, Adèle. The sun that rose in America in 1895. Out of the foamof the sea. I can't tell you the date, but it must have been a beautifulday. "

There was a pause. Then--

"How interesting!" said Adèle. "So it withered them up, did it?"

I nodded. 

"You see, Adèle, they had no root. "

"None of them?"

"None. "

Adèle looked straight ahead of her into the box-hedge, which rose, stiffand punctilious, ten paces away, the counterpart of that beneath whichwe were sitting. For once in a way, her merry smile was missing. In itsstead Gravity sat in her eyes, hung on the warm red lips. I had knownher solemn before, but not like this. The proud face looked veryresolute. There was a strength about the lift of the delicate chin, asteadfast fearlessness about the poise of the well-shapedhead--unworldly wonders, which I had never seen. Over the glorioustemples the soft dark hair swept rich and lustrous. The exquisite columnof her neck rose from her flowered silk gown with matchless elegance. Her precious hands, all rosy, lay in her lap. Crossed legs gave metwelve inches of slim silk stocking and a satin slipper, daintyhabiliments, not half so dainty as their slender charge.... 

The stable clock struck the half-hour. 

Half-past six. People had been to tea--big-wigs--and we were restingafter our labours. It was the perfect evening of a true summer's day. 

Nobby appeared in the foreground, strolling unconcernedly over the turfand pausing now and again to snuff the air or follow up an odd clue ofscent that led him a foot or so before it died away and came to nothing. 

"How, " said Adèle slowly, "did you come by Nobby?"

Painfully distinct, the wraith of Josephine Childe rose up before me, pale and accusing. Fragments of the letter which had offered me theSealyham re-wrote themselves upon my brain.... _It nearly breaks myheart to say so, but I've got to part with Nobby.... I think you'd geton together ... If you'd like to have him. _ ... And there was nothing init. It was a case of smoke without fire. But--I could have spared thequestion just then.... 

Desperately I related the truth. 

"A girl called Josephine Childe gave him to me. She wanted to find ahome for him, as she was going overseas. "

"Oh. "

The silence that followed this non-committal remark was mostdiscomfiting. I had a feeling that the moments were critical, and--theywere slipping away. Should I leap into the tide of explanation? Thatway, perhaps, lay safety. Always the quicksand of _Qui s'excuse, s'accuse_, made me draw back. I became extremely nervous.... FeverishlyI tried to think of a remark which would be natural and more or lessrelevant, and would pilot us into a channel of conversation down whichwe could swim with confidence. Of all the legion of topics, the clemencyof the weather alone occurred to me. I could have screamed.... 

The firebrand itself came to my rescue. 

Tired of amusing himself, the terrier retrieved an old ball from beneaththe hedge and, trotting across the sward, laid it down at my feet. 

Gratefully I picked it up and flung it for him to fetch. 

It fell into a thick welter of ivy which Time had built into a bulgingbuttress of greenery against the old grey wall at the end of the walk. 

The dog sped after it, his short legs flying.... 

The spell was broken, and I felt better. 

"You mustn't think he's a root, though, " I said cheerfully, "because heisn't. When did you say your birthday was?"

"I didn't, " said Adèle. "Still, if you must know, I was born on Augustthe thirtieth. "

"To-day! Oh, Adèle. And I've nothing for you Except.... " I hesitated, and my heart began to beat very fast. "But I'd be ashamed--I mean.... "My voice petered out helplessly. I braced myself for a supremeeffort.... 

An impatient yelp rang out. 

"What's the matter with Nobby?" said Adèle in a voice I hardlyrecognized. 

"Fed up, 'cause I've lost his ball for him, " said I, and, cowardly gladof a respite, I rose and stepped to the aged riot of ivy, where theterrier was searching for his toy. 

I pulled a hole in the arras and peered through. 

There was more space than I had expected. The grey wall bellied awayfrom me. 

"What's that?" said Adèle, looking over my shoulder. 

"What?" said I. 

"There. To the right. "

It was dark under the ivy, so I thrust in a groping arm. 

Almost at once my hand encountered the smooth edge of masonry. 

I took out a knife and ripped away some trails, so that we could seebetter. 

There was nothing to show that the pedestal which my efforts revealedhad ever supported a statue. But it was plain that such was the officefor which it had been set up. Presumably it was one of the series which, according to Vandy's book, had displayed imaginative effigies of theRoman Emperors, and had been done away in 1710. The inscription upon thecornice upheld this conclusion. 

PERTINAX IMPERATOR. 

I looked at Adèle. 

"PER ... IMP ... " said I. "Does the cap fit?"

"Yes, " she said simply. "That's right. I remember it perfectly. Theother seemed likely, but I was never quite sure. " Trembling a little, she turned and looked round. "And you came out of that break in thehedge with the tomato, and----Oh!"

She stopped, and the colour came flooding into her cheeks.... 

Then, in a flash, she turned and sped down the alley like a wild thing. As in a dream, I watched the tall slim figure dart out of sight.... 

A second impatient yelp reminded me that Nobby was still waiting. 

 * * * * *

The firm of silversmiths whom we employed to clean the collection, afterit had been disinterred, valued it for purposes of insurance attwenty-two thousand pounds. 

We saw no reason to communicate with Vandy. The exercise was probablydoing him good, and he had shown a marked antipathy to interruption. Atent had been pitched at The Lawn, and the work of excavation wentsteadily on. Not until the twenty-eighth of September did it suddenlycease. 

Three days later we had occasion to drive into Brooch. We returned byway of The Lawn. As we approached the entrance, I slowed up.... 

From the tall gates a brand-new board flaunted its black and whitepaint. 

But the legend it bore was the same. 

Mr. Miller was evidently a Conservative. 

CHAPTER XI

HOW NOBBY MET BLUE BANDALA, AND ADÈLE GAVE JONAH A KISS. 

"Listen to this, " said Berry. 

"_SIR_, --_Shortly before six o'clock this evening an extremely valuableChow, by name Blue Bandala, which I purchased last March for no less asum than six hundred pounds, was brutally attacked in Bilberry villageby a rough-haired mongrel, which was accompanying two girls. I am givento understand that this animal belongs to you. I was at first determinedto issue a summons, but I have now decided to give you a chance beforedoing so. If it amuses you to keep such a cur about your house, there isnothing to prevent you from so doing. But you must understand that onceit leaves your property it must be under proper and effective control, and if it ever attacks a dog of mine again, I shall either destroy itupon the spot or apply to the Bench for its destruction. I may say thatBlue Bandala is not only very well bred, but a very quiet and friendlydog, and was in no way to blame for what occurred. _

_HERBERT BASON. _

_B. PLEYDELL, White Ladies. _"

The explosion which the reading of this letter provoked isindescribable. 

"It's a lie!" cried Jill in a choking voice. "It's a beastly lie. Hisdog started it. Nobby would never have touched him. He wasn't paying anyattention. The Chow came up from behind and just fell upon him. And howdare he say he's a mongrel? It's just one lie after another, isn't it, Adèle?"

"It's outrageous, " said Miss Feste. "Directly I saw the other dog Ithought he meant mischief, but before I could tell Jill, he'd startedin. Nobby didn't even know he was there. "

The door opened, and dinner was announced. 

"Falcon, " said Berry. 

"Sir, " said the butler. 

"Who brought this note?"

"It was a chauffeur, sir. I don't know 'im by sight, sir. "

We filed out of the library, smouldering with resentment. 

"But what an awful man he must be, " said Daphne. "Even if our dog hadbeen in the wrong, that's no reason for writing a letter like that. "

"It's unpardonable, " said I. "It's quite bad enough to have him livingin the neighbourhood, but if this is the way he's going to behave.... " Iturned to Adèle. "Was his manner very bad at the time?"

"He seemed more rattled than anything else. He was clearly afraid tointerfere. Jill and I got them apart, as I told you. He got very red inthe face, but beyond muttering with his teeth clenched, he never said aword. "

"Must have gone straight home and got it off his chest, " said Jonah. "Iexpect he's awfully proud of that letter, if the truth were known. "

"Well, don't let's dwell on it, " said Berry, regarding the oysters whichhad been set before him. "After dinner will do. You hardly ever go downwith typhoid within six hours. " He turned to Adèle. "Bet you I've gotmore strepsicocci than you have, " he added pleasantly. 

"Shut up, " said Daphne. "Adèle dear, d'you like oysters? Because, don'tyou eat them if you don't. "

"No, don't, " said Berry. "If you don't, whatever you do, don't. Andwhatever you don't, I will. "

Adèle looked at him with a mischievous smile. 

"I couldn't bear, " she said, "to have your blood on my head. "

Then she glanced gratefully at Daphne and picked up a fork. 

Mr. Herbert Bason had arisen out of the cloud of War. The time hadproduced the man. The storm had burst just in the nick of time to savethe drooping theatrical interests which he controlled, and the fruitwhich these had borne steadily for the best part of five long years hadbeen truly phenomenal. A patriot to the backbone, the bewilderedproprietor obtained absolute exemption from the Tribunal, turned thefirst six rows of all his pits into stalls, and bought War Loan withboth hands. It was after the second air-raid upon London that he decidedto take a house in the country.... Less than a year ago he had disposedof his music-halls and had settled near Bilberry for good. 

"By the way, " said Daphne, "did I tell you? The laundry's struck. "

"Thank you, " said her husband, "for that phrase. "

"Don't mention it, " said my sister. "But I thought you'd like to know. Heaven knows when they'll go back, so I should go easy with your stiffcollars and shirts. "

"What, have the saws stopped working?" said Berry. "I can't bear it. "

"What about my trousers?" said I. "I've only one clean pair left. "

Daphne shrugged her white shoulders. 

"What about my tablecloths?" she replied. 

Berry addressed himself to Adèle. 

"We live in pleasant times, do not we? Almost a golden age. I wonderwhat the trouble is now. Probably some absent-minded _blanchisseuse_ hasgone and ironed twenty socks in ten minutes instead of ten socks intwenty minutes, without thinking. And the management refuse to sack herfor this grievous lapse into the slough of pre-War Industry, out ofwhich a provident Trade Union has blackmailed her to climb. "

"I've no doubt you're right, " said I. "The question is, where are wegoing to end? It's the same everywhere. And the mere thought of IncomeTax sends my temperature up. "

"Ah, " said Berry. "I had a quiet hour with the Book of the Words, issuedby that Fun Palace, Somerset House, this afternoon. _Income Tax, and Howto Pay it. _ Commonly styled, with unconscious humour, The Income TaxReturn. By the time I was through I had made out that, if I render astatement according to the printed instructions, my tax will exceed myincome by one hundred and forty-four pounds. If, on the other hand, Imake an incorrect return, I shall be fined fifty pounds and treble thetax payable. You really don't get a look in. "

"If you say much more, " groaned Jonah, "you'll spoil my appetite. When Ireflect that in 1913 and a burst of piety I sent the Chancellor of theExchequer a postal order for eight and sixpence by way of ConscienceMoney, I feel positively sick. "

"Not piety, " corrected my brother-in-law. "Drink. I remember you hadsome very bad goes about then. "

"What a terrible memory you have!" said Adèle. "I feel quite uneasy. "

"Fear not, sweet one, " was the reply. "Before I retail yourindiscretions I shall send you a list of them, with the price ofomission clearly marked against each in red ink. The writing will be allblurred with my tears. " Here Adèle declined a second vegetable. "There, now. I've gone and frightened you. And marrow's wonderful for the spine. Affords instant relief. And you needn't eat the seeds. Spit them overyour left shoulder. That'll bring you luck. "

There was an outraged clamour of feminine protest. 

"I won't have it, " said Daphne. "Disgusting brute!"

"And that, " said Jonah, "is the sodden mountebank who dares to cast astone into the limpid pool of my character. That is the overfedsluggard----"

"Take this down, somebody, " said Berry. "The words'll scorch up thepaper, but never mind. Record the blasphemy. Capital 'M' for'mountebank. ' 'Sluggard' with an 'H. ' And I'm not overfed. "

"You're getting fatter every day, " said Jill, gurgling. 

"That's right, " said my brother-in-law. "Bay the old lion. And bringdown these grey hairs in----"

"Talking of mountebanks, " said I, "who's going to Fallow Hill Fair?"

"Adèle ought to see it, " said Daphne. "Why don't you run her over in thecar?"

"I will, if she'd like to go. It's a real bit of old England. "

"I agree, " said Berry. "What with the cocoa-nut shies and the steamroundabouts, you'd think you were back in the Middle Ages. I think I'llcome, too. "

"Then you go alone, " said I. "I don't forget the last time you went. "

"What happened?" said Adèle, her eyes lighted with expectation. 

Berry sighed. 

"It was most unfortunate, " he said. "You see, it was like this. B-behinda b-barrier there was a b-booth with a lot of b-bottles, at which youwere b-bothered to throw b-balls. If you b-broke three b-bottles----"

"This nervous alliteration, " interposed Adèle, "is more than I canb-bear. "

"--you received a guerdon which you were encouraged to select from arevolting collection of bric-a-brac which was displayed in all its gloryupon an adjacent stall. Laden with munitions, I advanced to therails.... Unhappily, in the excitement of the moment, I mistook myobjective.... It was a most natural error. Both were arranged in tiers, both were pleading for destruction. "

"Nonsense, " said Daphne. "You did it on purpose. You know you did. Inever saw anything more deliberate in all my life. "

"Not at all, " replied her husband. "I was confused. A large and criticalcrowd had collected to watch my prowess, and I was pardonably nervous. "

"But what happened?" said Adèle. 

"Well, " said I, "naturally nobody was expecting such a move, with theresult that the brute got off about six balls before they could stophim. The execution among the prizes was too awful. You see, they wereonly about six feet away. The owner excepted, the assembled populacethought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. "

"Yes, " chimed in Jill. "And then he turned round and asked the man howmany bottles he'd won. "

"I never was so ashamed, " said Daphne. "Of course the poor man wasnearly off his head. "

"And I paid for the damage, " said Jonah. 

I looked across at Adèle. 

"So, if he comes with us, " I said, "you know what to expect. "

My lady threw back her head and laughed. 

"I suppose you're to be trusted, " she said. 

"Once past the pub, " said Berry, "he'll be all right. But if he says hefeels faint outside the saloon-bar, don't argue with him, but comestraight home. "

"At any rate, " said Adèle, "I shall have Nobby. "

The reference brought us back to Mr. Bason with a rush. 

In spite of our resolution to eschew the subject, that gentleman'sletter was heatedly discussed for the remainder of dinner. 

To-day was the third of September, and on the eleventh a dog-show was tobe held at Brooch. I had not entered Nobby, because I felt that hisexhibition would probably cause us more trouble than the proceeding wasworth. It now occurred to us that Mr. Bason would almost certainlyenter--had probably long ago entered his precious Chow. Any localtriumph, however petty and easy for a man of means to procure, would besure to appeal to one of his calibre, and the chance, which the showwould afford, of encountering, if not accosting, one or two Countypeople would be greatly to his relish. Supposing we did enter Nobby.... 

The idea of beating Mr. Bason in the race for first prize with the"rough-haired mongrel" which "it amused us to keep about our house" wasmost appealing. 

As soon as dinner was over, Berry rang up the Secretary. 

Our surmise was correct. Blue Bandala was entered. 

"Well, am I too late to enter a Sealyham?"

"Not if you do it to-morrow, " came the reply. 

"You shall have the particulars before mid-day. "

"Right-oh. "

Berry replaced the receiver. 

"Little Herbert will take the first prize for Chows, " he said. "Thatcan't be helped. But he's entered his dog for the 'All Comers, ' andthat's our chance. If we can't lift that goblet from under his uglynose, I'll never smile again. "

"What exactly's 'All Comers'?" said Jill. 

"The best all-round specimen of any breed. Manners, carriage--everything's taken into consideration. "

"If personality counts, " said Jonah, "Nobby'll romp home. "

I regarded our unconscious representative with an appraising eye. Supineupon the sofa, with his head out of sight behind Adèle, there was littleto recommend him as a model of deportment. With a sigh I resumed thecomposition of a reply to Mr. Bason's remarkable letter. 

When I had finished the draft, I gave it to Berry. The latter read itthrough, nodding solemn approval. Then he repaired to the writing-tableand copied my sentences, word for word, on to a sheet of notepaper. 

As he laid down his pen, he rose to his feet. 

"I'll tell you what, " he said. "If the blighter replies, and Nobby comesoff at the show, we'll send this correspondence to the local Press. "

"Let's have it, " said Jonah. 

Berry handed me the letter, and I read it aloud. 

_SIR, _

_I have received your note. _

_As an alloy of misrepresentation of fact, arrogant bluster and idlemenaces, I doubt whether it has ever been equalled upon this side of theRhine. _

_Indeed, its legibility would appear to be its only merit. _

_Not that I care for your style of handwriting, but in these degeneratedays it is, you will agree, a relief to receive a letter which can beeasily read. _

_You did go a bust on Blue Banana, didn't you?_

_Pray act upon your first impulse and apply for a summons. The Benchwill not grant your application, but--again you will agree--it is theeffort, and not the result, which counts. _

_It is nice of you to inquire after my Sealyham. He is none the worse, thanks, and I fancy he made old Blue Banana sit up. _

_Yours faithfully, _

_BERRY PLEYDELL. _

_H. BASON, Esq. _

_P. S. --You must forgive me for addressing you as "Esquire, " but it isdifficult to break a foolish habit of courtesy which I formed as achild. B. P. _

"Fifteen thirty, " cried Adèle, making ready to serve. "Hullo!" Shepointed with her racket over my shoulder. "Nobby's gone lame. "

I swung on my heel to see the terrier limping apologetically towards me, and going dead lame upon the near fore. 

As he came up, I dropped my racket and fell upon one knee, the better tosearch for the cause of the trouble. Carefully I handled the affectedlimb.... 

My fingers came to his toes, and the Sealyham winced. With a sigh ofrelief, I laid him upon his back. 

"Got it?" said Adèle. 

I looked up into the beautiful face three inches from mine. 

"I fancy so. " I bent to peer at the small firm foot. "Yes. Here we are. He's picked up a puncture. "

The next moment I plucked a substantial thorn from between two strongblack toes. A warm red tongue touched my restraining fingers in obviousgratitude. 

"Will he be all right?"--anxiously. 

"He shall speak for himself, " said I, releasing my patient. 

With a galvanic squirm the latter regained his feet, spun into the air, gyrated till I felt dizzy, and then streaked round the tennis-lawn, hishind feet comically overreaching his fore, steering a zigzag course withsuch inconsequence as suggested that My Lord of Misrule himself wasdirecting him by wireless. 

It was not worth while finishing our interrupted game, so we strolledback to the house. At the top of the stairs we parted, to go and change. Directly after lunch we were to leave for the fair. 

Six days had elapsed since Nobby's scuffle with the apple of Mr. Bason'seye. Life had slipped by uneventfully. The Sealyham had been put upon astrict diet and was thoroughly groomed three times a day: my store ofclean starched linen had dwindled to one shirt and two collars, which, distrusting my brother-in-law, I kept under lock and key: and Mr. Basonhad been stung by our letter into sending a reply which afforded us themaximum of gratification. It ran as follows--

_SIR, _

_Your insulting letter to hand. _

_I stand by every word of my previous letter. _

_The sooner, therefore, that you realize that I am not to be trifledwith, the better for all concerned. _

_You are evidently one of those people who believe that impudent bluffwill carry them anywhere, and that, with your birth and upbringingbehind you, you can do as you please. But you are wrong. Among men whoare men, as distinct from pedantic popinjays, you go for nothing. Pshaw. _

_HERBERT BASON. 

B. PLEYDELL, Esq. _

_P. S. --Be good enough to note that my dog's name is "Blue Bandala, " not"Blue Banana. "_

_H. B. _

Our reply was dispatched within twenty-four hours. 

_SIR, _

_Many thanks for your masterly appreciation of my character. _

_We all think "pedantic popinjays" simply splendid. Is it your own?_

_Don't tell old Banana Skin, but I've had the nerve to enter my Sealyhamfor the "All Comers" event at Brooch. _

_So glad you're not to be trifled with. Selah. _

_Yours faithfully, _

_BERRY PLEYDELL. 

H. BASON, Esq. _

In two days' time we should meet at Philippi. 

It must be confessed that there were moments when we remembered ourprecipitancy in some uneasiness. Nobby was well bred, but he had notcost six hundred pounds. Always he looked his best, and his best wasextremely good. His many excellent points were set off by a mostattractive air and a singular charm and sprightliness of manner. Everymovement and pose was full of grace, and he had the brightest eyes thatI have ever seen. But Blue Bandala was clearly a "show" animal. Couldour little David beat this very Goliath among dogs, and that upon thelatter's own ground? Could our little amateur take on a plus-fourprofessional and beat him at his own game? There was no manner of doubtthat angels would at least have walked delicately where we had rushedin. However, it was too late now. Even if we would, we could not drawback. Beyond doing what we could to keep him as fit as a fiddle, therewas nothing to be done. 

After a bath I put on a tweed suit, concealed my discarded and solesurviving pair of white trousers from the rapacious eye of a randomhousemaid, and descended to lunch. 

An hour later Adèle and Nobby and I were all in the Rolls, sailing alongthe soft brown roads _en route_ for Fallow Hill. 

It was a day of great loveliness, and the forest ways were one and allbeset with a rare glory. 

Thirty-six hours before, the first frost of autumn had touched thebreast of Earth with silver finger-tips. 'Twas but a runaway knock. Themischief-loving knave was gone again, before the bustling dame hadbraced herself to open to her pert visitor. Maybe the rogue was beatingup his quarters. The time of his dreaded lodgment was not yet. Hisapprehensive hostess was full of smiles. Summer was staying on.... 

Yet on the livery of the countryside the accolade of Frost had wrought awonder. Two days ago the world was green. To-day a million leavesglanced, green as before, yet with a new-found lustre--something of redin it, something of gold, something of sober brown. But the wonder wasnot to the trees. It was the humble bracken that had been dubbed knight. The homespun of the forest was become cloth of pure gold, glittering, flawless. In the twinkling of an eye the change had come. Here was anacre spread with the delicate fronds, and there a ragged mile, andyonder but shreds and patches--yet all of magic gold, flinging thesunlight back, lighting the shadows, making the humblest ride too richfor kings to trample till the green roofs and walls looked dull besideit, and the ephemeral magnificence took Memory by the throat and wrung alease of life from that Reversioner. 

"Tell me, " I said, "of Mr. Bason. He interests me, and I've never seenhim. "

"Mr. Bason, " said Adèle, "is short and fat and--yes, I'm afraid he'sgreasy. He has bright yellow hair and a ridiculous moustache, which isbrushed up on end on each side of his nostrils. He has very watery paleblue eyes, and all the blood in his face seems to have gone to hisnose. "

"Muscular rheumatism, " I suggested. 

"I guess so. Of course, he knows best, and I don't pretend to say whatmen should wear, but white flannel suits aren't becoming to everyfigure, are they? Most of the rest of him was mauve--shirt, socks andhandkerchief. Oh, and he had a tie on his pin. "

"But how lovely!"

"Yes, but you should have smelt the lilac. He was just perfumed todeath. If he isn't careful, one of these days he'll get picked. "

"One of the old school, in fact. Well, well.... " We swept round acorner, and I nodded ahead. "See that ridge in front of us? Well, that'sFallow Hill. The village lies close, just on the other side. "

"What are you going to do with the car?" said Adèle. 

"They'll let me lock her up--don't be shocked--at the brewery. I knowthem there. "

"You'll admit it sounds bad. "

"Yes, but it smells lovely. You wait. For that reason alone, I shouldvote against Prohibition. The honest scent of brewing, stealing acrossthe meadows on a summer eve, is one of the most inspiring things Iknow. "

"But what a man!" said Adèle. "'Books in the running brooks, _Virtue invats_, and good in everything. ' Nobby, " she added reproachfully, "whydidn't you tell me he was a poet?" The Sealyham put his head on oneside, as if desiring her to repeat the question. "Oh, you cute thing!"And, with that, my lady bent and kissed the terrier between the brightbrown eyes. 

I put the wheel over hard, and the car swerved violently. 

"For Heaven's sake!" cried Miss Feste. "What are you doing?"

"It's your fault, " said I. "I'm only human. Besides, he doesn't deserveit. "

Adèle flung me a dazzling smile, made as though she would say something, and then, apparently changing her mind, relapsed into a provokingsilence.... 

A quarter of an hour later the Rolls had been safely bestowed at thebrewery, and my companion and I were making our way amusedly past boothsand tents and caravans, where chapmen, hucksters, drovers, cheapjacks, gipsies and bawling showmen wrangled and chaffered and cried their waresor entertainments, making with the crude music of the merry-go-roundsmuch the same good-humoured uproar which had been faithfully rendered atthe village of Fallow Hill every September for the last five hundredyears. 

"Blessings on your sweet pretty face, my lady!" cried an old voice. 

We turned to see a very old gipsy, seated a little apart upon a backlesschair, nodding and smiling in our direction. 

Adèle inclined her head, and I slid a hand into my pocket. 

"Come hither to me, my lady, " piped the old dame, "and let your mancross my old palm with silver, and I'll tell you your fortune. Ah, butyou have a happy face. "

Adèle looked at me, and I nodded. 

"They're a good folk, " I said, "and you'll get better stuff for yourmoney than you would in Bond Street. But don't, if you don't want to. "

My words could not have been heard by the gipsy. Yet, before Adèle couldreply--

"Aye, " she said, "the pretty gentleman's right. We're a good folk, andthere be some among us can see farther than the dwellers in towns. "Adèle started, and the crone laughed. "Come hither, my lady, and let melook in your eyes. "

She was an old, old woman, but the snow-white hair that thrust frombeneath her kerchief was not thin: her face was shrunken and wrinkled, yet apple-cheeked: and her great sloe-black eyes glowed with a strangebrilliance, as if there were fires kindled deep in the wasted sockets. 

Adèle stepped forward, when, to my amazement, the gipsy put up her handsand groped for the girl's shoulders. The significance of the gesture wasplain. She was stone blind. 

For a while she mumbled, and, since I had not gone close, I did not hearwhat she said. But Adèle was smiling, and I saw the colour come floodinginto her cheeks.... 

Then the old dame lifted up her voice and called to me to come also. 

I went to her side. 

An old gnarled hand fumbled its way on to my arm. 

"Aye, " she piped. "Aye. Tis as I thought. Your man also must lose ere hefind. Together ye shall lose, and together gain. And ye shall comfortone another. "

The tremulous voice ceased, and the hands slipped away. 

I gave her money and Adèle thanked her prettily. 

She cried a blessing upon us, I whistled to Nobby, and we strolledon.... 

"Look at that baby, " said Adèle. "Isn't he cute?"

"Half a second, " said I, turning and whistling. "Which baby?"

"There, " said Adèle, pointing. "With the golden hair. "

A half-naked sun-kissed child regarded us with a shy smile. It wasimpossible not to respond.... 

Again I turned and whistled. 

"Where can he be?" said Adèle anxiously. 

"Oh, he always turns up, " I said. "But, if you don't mind going back alittle way, it'll save time. With all this noise... "

We went back a little way. Then we went back a long way. Then we askedpeople if they had seen a little white dog with a black patch. Alwaysthe answer was in the negative. One man laughed and said something about"a dog in a fair, " and Fear began to knock at my heart. I whistled untilthe muscles of my lips ached. Adèle wanted us to search separately, butI refused. It was not a place for her to wander alone. Feverishly wesought everywhere. Twice a white dog sent our hopes soaring, only toprove a stranger and dash them lower than before. Round and about and inand out among the booths and swings and merry-go-rounds we hastened, whistling, calling and inquiring in vain. Nobby was lost. 

 * * * * *

We had intended to be home in time for tea. 

As it was, we got back to White Ladies, pale and dejected, at a quarterto eight. 

As she rose to get out of the car, Adèle gave a cry and felt franticallyabout her neck and throat. 

"What's the matter?" I cried. 

"My pearls, " she said simply. "They're not here. "

For what it was worth, I called for lights, and we took the cushions outand looked in the car. 

But there was no sign of the necklace. It was clean gone. 

 * * * * *

The lamentations with which the news of our misfortunes was receivedwere loud and exceeding bitter. 

Jill burst into tears; Daphne tried vainly to comfort her, and thenfollowed her example; Berry and Jonah vied with each other in gloomycross-examination of Adèle and myself concerning our movements since wehad left White Ladies, and in cheerless speculation with regard to theprobable whereabouts of our respective treasures. 

After a hurried meal the Rolls was again requisitioned, and all six ofus proceeded to Fallow Hill. Not until eleven o'clock would the fun ofthe fair be suspended, and it was better to be on the spot, even if forthe second time we had to come empty away, than to spend the evening inthe torment of inactivity. 

Of the loss of the Sealyham we could speak more definitely than of thatof the necklace. Nobby had been by my side when the gipsy hailed us, sothat there was no doubt but that he was lost at the fair. Regarding herpearls, Adèle could speak less positively. In fact, to say that she hadhad the necklace before breakfast that morning was really as far as shecould go. "I know I had it then, " she affirmed, "because I always takeit off before taking my bath, and I remember putting it on afterwards. As luck will have it, I was rather late this morning, and I couldn'tfasten the safety-chain, so after two or three shots I gave up trying, intending to do it later on. And this is the result. " She had not bathedagain. 

It was a sweet pretty gaud. So perfectly matched were its hundred andtwo pearls that many would have believed it unreal. It had belonged toher great-grandmother, and was not insured. 

Arrived at Fallow Hill, we went straight to the police. The loss of thejewels we communicated to them alone. Somewhat shamefacedly and plainlyagainst Adèle's will, I described the old gipsy and commended her totheir vigilance. When they learned that she had laid hands upon Adèle, the two inspectors exchanged glances which there was no mistaking.... 

So far as Nobby was concerned, as well as informing the police, weenlisted the sympathy of the Boy Scouts. Also we engaged six rustics toperambulate the fair and cry the loss of the Sealyham for all to hear. Information leading to his recovery would be rewarded with the sum offive pounds, while the crier to whom the communication was made wouldreceive five more for himself. Our six employees went about their workwith a will, bellowing lustily. Daphne and Jonah sat in the car, rejecting the luckless mongrels which were excitedly paraded beforethem, one after another, from the moment that our loss was made known. The rest of us hunted in couples--Adèle with Berry, and Jill withme--scouring the maze of temporary alleys and lanes and crookedquadrangles, till we knew them by heart. 

The merry-go-rounds had stopped whirling, and the booths were beingshrouded or dismantled, as Jill and I made our way to the car for thelast time. 

As we came up--

"That you, Boy?" cried Daphne. "Here's a waggoner who thinks he sawNobby being taken away. "

A little knot of men parted, and Jill and I thrust our way forward. 

"Oi wouldden be sure, " said a deep rough voice, "but a was a lil whitechap of a dog on en' of a string. 'Twas a grume, simly, a-leadin' 'imBrooch way. An' a didn't want for to go, neither, for a stock toes in, adid, an' collar was 'alf-way over 'ead. Just come forth from _The ThreeBulls_, Oi 'ad, oop yonder o' Bear Lane, an' the toime were nigh threeo' the aafternoon. "

We questioned him closely, but he could tell us no more. 

Slight as the clue was, it was infinitely better than none at all. If itwas indeed Nobby that the waggoner had seen, the thief was taking himout of the village, at least in the direction of White Ladies. This wasencouraging. That any one making for the railway station would take thesame road was a less pleasant reflection. 

I took our informant's name and address and those of the crier who hadbrought him to the car. Then we dispensed some silver, and left forhome. 

Of Adèle's necklace we had heard nothing. 

We determined to concentrate upon the recovery of the pearls upon thefollowing day. 

 * * * * *

All through a wretched night the pitiful vacancy at the foot of my bedreminded me brutally of my loss. My poor little dog--where was hepassing these dark hours? How many more must drag their way along beforethe warm white ball lay curled again in the crook of my knees? Had herested there for the last time? With a groan I thrust the thought fromme, but always it returned, leering hideously. Miserably I recited hisqualities--his love for me, his mettle, his beauty, his unfailing goodhumour.... What naughtiness there was in him seemed very precious. Painfully I remembered his thousand pretty ways. He had a trick ofwaving his little paws, when he was tired of begging.... 

Small wonder that I slept ill and fitfully. 

Early as I was, the others were already at breakfast when I came down. Only Adèle had not appeared. 

It was a melancholy meal. 

Jonah said not a word, and Berry hardly opened his mouth. There weredark rings under Jill's grey eyes, and Daphne looked pale and tired. 

A communication from the Secretary of the Brooch Dog Show, enclosing apass for the following day, and informing me that my Sealyham mustarrive at the Show in the charge of not more than one attendant by 11a. M. , did not tend to revive our drooping spirits. We had nearlyfinished, when, with a glance at the clock, my sister set her foot uponthe bell. 

As the butler entered the room--

"Send up and see if Miss Feste will breakfast upstairs, Falcon. Ithink----"

"Miss Feste has breakfasted, madam. "

"Already?"

"Yes, madam. Her breakfast was taken to her before eight o'clock. "

"Where is she?"

"I think she's out bicycling, madam. "

"Bicycling?"

The inquiry leapt from five mouths simultaneously. 

"Yes, madam. She sent for me and asked if I could find 'er a lady'sbicycle, an' Greenaway was very 'appy to lend 'er 'ers, madam. An' Fitchpumped up the tires, an' she went off about 'alf-past eight, madam. "

We stared at one another in bewilderment. 

"Did she say where she was going?" said Berry. 

"No, sir. "

"All right, Falcon. "

The butler bowed and withdrew. 

Amid the chorus of astonished exclamation, Berry held up his hand. 

"It's very simple, " he said. "She's unhinged. "

"Rubbish, " said his wife. 

"The disappearance of Nobby, followed by the loss of her necklace, haspreyed upon her mind. Regardless alike of my feelings and of the canonsof good taste, she rises at an hour which is almost blasphemous and goesforth unreasonably to indulge in the most hellish form of exercise everinvented. What further evidence do we need? By this time she hasprobably detached the lamp from the velocipede and is walking about, saying she's Florence Nightingale. "

"Idiot, " said Daphne. 

"Not yet, " said her husband, "but I can feel it coming on. " He cast aneye downward and shivered. "I feared as much. My left leg is allunbuttoned. "

"For goodness' sake, " said his wife, "don't sit there drivelling----"

"Sorry, " said Berry, "but I haven't got a clean bib left. This laundrystrike----"

"I said 'drivelling, ' not 'dribbling. ' You know I did. And what are wewasting time for? Let's do something--anything. "

"Right-oh, " said her husband. "What about giving the bread some birds?"And with that he picked up a loaf and deliberately pitched it out of thewindow on to the terrace. 

The fact that the casement was not open until after the cast, made hisbehaviour the more outrageous. 

The very wantonness of the act, however, had the excellent effect ofbreaking the spell of melancholy under which we were labouring. 

In a moment all was confusion. 

Jill burst into shrieks of laughter; Jonah, who had been immersed in_The Times_, cursed his cousin for the shock to his nerves; in a shakingvoice Daphne assured the butler, whom the crash had brought running, that it was "All right, Falcon; Major Pleydell thought the window wasopen"; and the delinquent himself was loudly clamouring to be toldwhether he had won the slop-pail outright or had only got to keep itclean for one year. 

Twenty minutes later Jonah had left for Brooch to see the ChiefConstable about the missing jewels and arrange for the printing anddistribution of an advertisement for Nobby. The rest of us, doing ourutmost to garnish a forlorn hope with the seasoning of expectation, madediligent search for the necklace about the terrace, gardens andtennis-lawn. After a fruitless two hours we repaired to the house, wherewe probed the depths of sofas and chairs, emptied umbrella-stands, settles, flower-bowls and every other receptacle over which our guestmight have leaned, and finally thrust an electric torch into the bowelsof the piano and subjected that instrument to a thorough examination. 

At length--

"I give it up, " said Daphne, sinking into a chair. "I don't think it canbe here. "

"Nor I, " said I. "I think we've looked everywhere. "

"Yes, " said Berry. "There's only the cesspool left. We can drag thatbefore lunch, if you like, but I should prefer one more full meal beforeI die. "

"Boy! Boy!"

Somewhere from behind closed doors a sweet excited voice was calling. 

I sprang to the door. 

"Yes, Adèle, yes?" I shouted. 

A moment later my lady sped down a passage and into the hall. 

"Get the car quick. I've found Nobby. "

"Where?" we yelled. 

"That man Bason's got him. "

Her announcement momentarily deprived us of breath. Then we all started, and in the next two minutes sufficient was said about the retiredmusic-hall proprietor to make that gentleman's pendulous ears burst intoblue flame. 

Again want of breath intervened, and Adèle besought us to make ready thecar. 

We explained vociferously that Jonah had taken the Rolls and would beback any minute. Whilst we were waiting, would she not tell us her tale?

Seating herself upon the arm of a chair, she complied forthwith. 

"None of you seemed to suspect him, and, as I'm usually wrong, I decidedto say nothing. But last night I asked a Boy Scout where he lived. Curiously enough, the boy had a brother who was a gardener in Bason'semploy. That made me think. I asked him whether I could have a word withhis brother, and he told me he lived at a cottage close to his work, andwas almost always at home between nine and half-past in the morning. 

"When he came home this morning, I was waiting for him. He seemed a niceman, so I told him the truth and asked him to help me. Thorn--that's hisname--doesn't like Bason a bit, and at once agreed that he was quitecapable of the dirtiest work, if any one got in his way. He hadn't, hesaid, seen Nobby, but that wasn't surprising. If the dog was there he'dprobably be in the stables, and with those Thorn has nothing to do. 

"Bason doesn't keep horses, but he uses one of the coach-houses as agarage. The chauffeur seems to be rather worse than his master. He'sloathed by the rest of the staff, and, while he and Bason are as thickas thieves, neither trusts the other an inch. 

"The first thing to do, obviously, was to find out if Nobby was there. Everything was always kept locked, so I determined to try the 'Blondel'stunt--yes, I know a lot of English History--and try and make Coeur deLion speak for himself. 

"First we synchronized our watches. Then Thorn showed me the house andtold me exactly where the garage and stables were--close to the gates, happily. Then we arranged that in ten minutes' time he should try to getthe chauffeur out of the way, while I took a look round. More than thatwe couldn't fix, but it was understood that, if there was a dog thereand Thorn got an opening, he was to undo his collar and give him achance to make good on his own. That wouldn't involve Thorn, for hecould fasten the collar again and make it look as if Nobby had slippedit. "

"But what a brain!" said Berry. "One short month of my society, and thegirl----"

An avalanche of protest cut short the speaker. 

Adèle continued, gurgling. 

"At first everything went all right. At twenty minutes to ten I put myhead round the corner to see the chauffeur and Thorn disappearing at theother end of the yard. I stepped out of my cover and had a look round. There were stables on one side, and a coachhouse and garage on theother, and the yard, which was open at both ends, lay in between. I wasjust going to try the loose-boxes--I was going to 'miaow' like a cat andsee what answer I got--when I heard Bason's voice calling Banana.... 

"There was only one door open, and that was the garage. I dashed for itand looked round for somewhere to hide. The place was as bare as yourhand. But there was nothing the matter with the limousine, so I gotinside and sat down on the floor. 

"I was only just in time. 

"Bason came stamping into the yard, shouting for 'Arthur, ' and the nextmoment Nobby gave tongue. 

"I just had to look. 

"There was Blue Banana with his nose to the door of the loose-boximmediately opposite, snarling and showing his teeth, Bason washammering on the door, yelling 'Shut up, you brute!' and Nobby, ofcourse, was barking to beat the band. "

As she spoke, a faint familiar cough from the drive announced the returnof Jonah from Brooch. 

In less time than it takes to record, I had flown to the front-door andput him wise. Two minutes later we were all in the Rolls, which wasscudding at an unlawful speed along the Fallow Hill road. 

"There's nothing much more to tell, " said Adèle, as we clamoured for herto proceed. "I thought Bason would never go, and, when at last he did, the chauffeur took the opportunity of changing the two front tires. 

"For over two hours I sat in that car. At last the man shut the place upand, I suppose, went to his dinner. 

"I had meant to borrow the limousine, but he'd taken the key of theswitch, so I couldn't do that. And I couldn't get at Nobby, for thestable was locked. So I just pelted back to Thorn's cottage, told hiswife to tell him my news, picked up the bicycle and came right back. "

For a moment no one said anything. Then--

"I shall recommend you, " said Berry, "for the Most Excellent Order ofthe Beer Engine. A very coveted distinction. The membership is limitedto seven million. "

"Yes, " said I, "for a most daring reconnaissance behind the enemy'slines. You know, this ranks with the penetration of the Kiel Canal. Seriously, Adèle, I'm terribly grateful. "

My lady looked at me with a shy smile. 

"What did the gipsy say?" she said. "After all I'm only obeying orders. And now----"

A cry from Jonah interrupted her, and the rest of us started inquiringlyas he clapped on the brakes. 

As the car came to a standstill--

"What's the matter?" I cried. 

By way of answer my cousin took off his hat and, producing a silkhandkerchief, deliberately wiped his forehead with the utmost care. Thenhe replaced his hat and looked up and over his right shoulder.... 

From the top of a mossy bank by the side of the road Nobby was regardingus wide-eyed. Apparently he had broken prison and was on his way home. Time was nothing to him, and the roots of a wayside beech upon anattractive rise cried aloud for inspection. Besides, there was a seriousloss of liberty which had to be made good.... 

For a moment rescue-party and prize looked one another in the face. Thenthe latter hurled himself panting into the road and leapt into the armswhich I stretched out of the car. 

No prodigal ever received such an ovation. There was literally a fightfor his person. Jill snatched him from me and pressed his nose to herface; Berry dragged him from her protesting arms and set him upon hisknee; Daphne tore him away and hugged him close. Such of us as weretemporarily disseized, stroked and fondled his limbs and cried endearingepithets. Only our fair American looked on with a wistful smile. 

"So, you see, " she said, "he's done without me, after all. '"

I took hold of her hand. 

"My dear, " I said, "your argument would be more forcible if he waswearing a collar. "

There was a buzz of excitement as my statement was feverishly confirmed. 

"I agree, " said Berry. "What's more, he's brought us a souvenir. "

As he spoke, he plucked something which was adhering to the terrier'sbeard. 

It was a tuft of slate-grey hair. 

 * * * * *

The "All Comers" Event was won by Nobby, who beat a French bulldog by ashort head. 

Neither Blue Bandala nor his owner put in an appearance. For this aparticularly curt note, bluntly requiring the return of the Sealyham'scollar, may have been responsible. 

The waggoner and the lad who found him received their rewards. 

So also did Thorn. His letter of acknowledgment was addressed to Adèle. 

_DEAR MADAM, _

_Thank you kindly for the 5 lbs. I got to the dog by way of the ayloftwhich were in one of the stalls I undone is coller and here he run outthe first dore as was open and appening on Blew Bandarlerer did not harfput it acrost him and Mr. Bason says I command you to seperate them dogsArthur he says and Arthur fetches Blew B. One what he ment for your dogand Mr. Bason fetches him another what he ment for Arthur so the choughcort it proper. _

_Yours respecfully, _

_G. THORN. _

But for the loss of the pearls, we should have been jubilant. 

 * * * * *

Three days had elapsed since the dog show. 

The whole of the morning and part of the afternoon I had spent in abathroom, supervising the disconnection, severance and inspection of thewaste-pipe which served the basin. When, hot and dejected, I made myreport at half-past three, Adèle thanked me as prettily as if I hadfound the pearls. 

I retired to wash and change into flannels. 

It must have been two hours later when I looked up from the operation ofcombing Nobby and took my pipe from my mouth. 

"Oh, Adèle, " I said simply, "I do love you so. "

Adèle put out a hand and touched my hair. 

"I'm glad you do, " she said gently. 

As I got upon my feet, one end of her necklace hung trailing over theedge of my trousers where I had turned them up. They were the pair I hadworn at tennis the day we had gone to the fair, and it must have falleninto the fold when we were finding the thorn. 

Adèle saw it too, but, when I would have stooped, she shook her head. 

Then I looked into her eyes, and there found such a light that I forgotthe pearls and the rolling world with them. 

As she slipped into my arms, she threw back her head. 

"Once, at Port Said, you kissed me, " she whispered. "And again at Rome. "I nodded. "But this is your own home. "

"Yes, " I said steadily. "And here I plight thee my troth. "

The brown eyes closed, and a glorious smile swept Into the beautifulface. 

For a moment I gazed at her.... 

Then I kissed the red, red lips. 

So we comforted one another. 

 * * * * *

The unexpected arrival of the laundry van at five minutes to eight, with, amongst other things, a month's table-linen, had pardonablydislocated the service of dinner. 

Whilst the table was being relaid we spent the time in the library, gathered about the violet-tongued comfort of a chestnut-root fire. 

"You know, " said Jonah, looking up from an armchair, "if wedon't----Good Heavens!" His exclamation was so violent that we alljumped. "Why, " he cried, staring at Adèle, "you've found them!"

A common cry of amazement broke from Daphne, Berry and Jill, and ourguest started guiltily and put a hand to her throat. 

"O-o-oh, I "--she shot an appealing glance at me--"we quite forgot. Boyfound them in the garden, whilst he was combing Nobby. "

Berry looked round. 

"You hear?" he said. "They quite forgot.... They stumble upon jewelsworth a month of strike pay--baubles whose loss has stupefied theCounty, and forget to mention it. And I spent two hours this afternoonin a gas-mask studying the plan of the drains and calculating whether, if the second manhole was opened and a gorgonzola put down to draw thefire, Jonah could reach the grease-trap before he became unconscious. "He raised his eyes to heaven and groaned. "The only possible excuse, " headded, "is that you're both in.... "

His voice tailed off, as he met Adèle's look, and he got suddenly uponhis feet. 

Jonah stood up, too. 

Daphne took Adèle's hands in hers and turned to me a face radiant withexpectation. 

Jill caught at my sleeve and began to tremble. I put my arm about herand looked round. 

"We plead that excuse, " I said. 

For a moment nobody moved. 

Then Jonah limped to my dear and put her hand to his lips. Adèle stoopedand kissed him. 

"You beautiful darling, " breathed my sister. "Sargent shall paint you, and you shall hang at the foot of the stairs. "

The two kissed one another tenderly. 

Then Adèle stretched out her white arms to grey-eyed Jill. My littlecousin just clung to her. 

"Oh, Adèle, " she whispered, "I'm so glad. B-but you won't go away? Heand you'll stay with us, won't you?"

"If you want me, darling. "

Berry cleared his throat. 

"Of course, " he said, "as the head of the family--the overlord--I shouldhave come first. However, I shall kiss her 'Good night' instead. Possibly I shall ker-rush her to me. " He turned to me. "This will be thesecond time within my memory that a Pleydell has married above him. "

"Very true, " said I. "When was the first?"

"When I married your sister. "

I nodded dreamily. 

"I think, " I said, "I think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. "

Berry shook his head. 

"Not a spoon, " he said. "A soup-ladle. "

THE END

NEW FICTION

THE BOX FROM JAPAN

By

HARRY STEPHEN KEELER

Another baffling story by the great detective-story writer who isalready becoming world-famous for his marvellously intricate andingenious plots. This story is a jewel of many facets in brilliantsetting. Here Mr. Keeler's genius for the mystery-plot comes into anamazing perfection. 

_Popular successes by this Author_:

The Amazing WebThieves' NightsThe Fourth KingThe Green Jade HandSing Sing NightsThe Tiger SnakeThe Blue SpectaclesFind the ClockThe Black Satchel

All who love strong character and thrilling incident will revel in thisessentially clever story. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

CALEB'S CONQUEST

By JOSEPH HOCKING

Caleb, the sixteen-year-old son of a small farmer, ran away on hisfather's death and engaged himself as a farm labourer. What he discoversin the next few years makes a typical Hocking Cornish adventure romance. 

_Other popular Stories by this Author_:

Mistress Nancy MolesworthThe BirthrightIshmael PengellyGod and MammonThe Weapons of MysteryHeartseaseThe Tenant of Cromlech CottageNancy Trevanion's LegacyThe Secret of TrescobellA Prince of this WorldGreater LoveJabez EasterbrookAn Enemy Hath Done ThisRoger TrewinionThe Sign of the TriangleOut of the Depths

There are few better story-tellers than Mr. Joseph Hocking, especiallywhen he is dealing with his beloved Cornwall. His stories arethrillingly interesting, and rivet the attention of the reader frombeginning to end. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

THE SIGN OF THE GLOVE

(_Another_ "LEATHERMOUTH" _Novel_. )

By CARLTON DAWE

Colonel Gantian ("Leathermouth") is called upon by his friend, aCommissioner of Scotland Yard, to help in elucidating the mysteriousevents behind the death of the late Governor of Bombay. With muchhesitation and reluctance, having just got married, he accepts themission. But it sends him walking into many dangers, and it is only withmuch trouble that finally he is triumphant. 

_Other recent successes by this Author_:

LeathermouthThe GlareThe Forbidden ShrineThe Knightsbridge AffairSlings and ArrowsLove, the ConquerorPacific BlueThe Desirable WomanThe Winding RoadThe Missing ClueFishers of MenWanted

"For a certain crispness of dialogue, and deft arrangement of the eventsof a good plot, Mr. Carlton Dawe has very few rivals. "--_The YorkshirePost_. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

A MYSTERY CHAIN

By L. G. MOBERLY

This story deals with a foreign woman, who poses as a greatphilanthropist, but who, under cover of her social activities, isinvolved in very other matters. What these are must be left to MissMoberly to tell, and she tells them in a story of great power, vividnessand charm. 

_Some of Miss Moberly's previous successes_:

The Voice Fingers of Fate Stepping Stones Hope, My Wife Vere Diana ATangled Web A Way of Escape Threads of Life The Eternal Dustbin RenewalA Change and a Chance The Master Key

In the long list of successful novelists Miss Moberly takes a highplace. Her novels are not merely thrillers, but a readable love story isinvariably woven into the mystery. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

THE YELLOW WAGON

By CHARMAN EDWARDS

A beautiful woman, destined to be England's most famous actress, bornamid the glamour yet hardship of that picturesque and now almostobsolete institution of rural England, the travelling theatre. Againstthis coloured background and that of the West-end stage is the story ofthe men who craved her for her beauty alone. Here is no impossibleheroine who survives her many ordeals unscathed--Sheila Fitzpatrick isbut human after all--but the reader's sympathy will be with her to theend. 

_By the same Author_:

WindfellowDerisionHigh StreetRainbrotherSir Richard PennilessMr. Edwards writes in a manner that holds one to his story. Characterisation comes easy to him. He has a facility for sustainedsuspense and he constructs with admirable economy. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

THE PITIFUL LADY

By KATHARINE TYNAN

Robin, when left alone in the world, with her great love for animals, finds her vocation in veterinary surgery. The a returning of a lost dogto its owner brings into her life a new interest, and through theepisodes that follow Katharine Tynan brings to a satisfactory conclusionone of the most charming and characteristic of her romances. 

_Other popular Stories by this Author_:

Pat, the AdventurerThe Briar Bush MaidA Fine GentlemanThe Wild AdventureCastle PerilousThe Squire's SweetheartThe Most Charming FamilyThe Admirable SimmonsThe PlaygroundMy Love's But a LassiePhillipa's LoverDelia's Orchard

Clean, wholesome love stories, free from intrigue and sensationalism, and containing well-drawn characters and good dialogue. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

TILL DOOMSDAY

By ROBIN TEMPLE

The dramatic story of a man whose divorced wife, an actress, seeks, forvanity's sake, to allure him back to her and away from another woman whohas entered his life, and with whom he has fallen in love. The storymoves with a sure pace throughout, and the end is finely wrought. 

To all who like a powerful adventure story, written with a punch, thisnovel can be whole-heartedly recommended. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

WHITE GOLD

By OTTWELL BINNS

To Ferrars, home on leave, came an S O S call from a friend gaoled inMozambique. He held the secret of a platinum find, and corrupt officialswished to filch it from him. A thrilling rescue and a neck-and-neck racefor the treasure followed. 

_Other Stories by this Author_:

The White Hands of JusticeThe Grey RatA Mating in the WildsWhere the Aurora FlamesJava JackA Sin of SilenceThe Secret PearlsSnowbirdJim TrelawneyThe Flaming CrescentThe Man from MalobaThe Love that BelievethA Gipsy of the NorthAn Adventurer of the BayBehind the RangesThe Diamond TrailThe Three Black DotsThe Vanished Guest

"Mr. Binns gives us a story, clear-cut of pattern and compactly woven, and when it has been read, we turn to it again for the sake of theatmosphere of the wilds. "--_Yorkshire Observer_. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

PANDORA'S BOX

AND OTHER STORIES

By STEPHEN McKENNA

A volume of great charm and wit, fully representing the author's variedtalents, and vigorously written in the style that has made him famous. 

Mr. Stephen McKenna's admirers, and their number is legion, will rejoicein this attractive volume. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

THE RETURN OF JENNY WEAVER

By MARGARET TURNBULL

A murder trial that becomes more complex as it proceeds, and (strange tosay) less sordid; for under cross-examination there gradually emergesthe story of a bygone romance so touching that the young squire, on hisacquittal of the murder charge, yields the centre of the stage to hispoor, foolish, fluttering mother. 

_By the same Author_:

The Handsome Man A Monkey in Silk The Left Lady

The Author writes a rattling good yarn, full of excitement. Thoroughlybrisk in action, her stories are told in a virile and spirited manner. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

WINNING THROUGH

By JESSE TEMPLETON

The story of the shipwreck of an Atlantic Liner and of the thrillingadventures that befall a small party of survivors stranded in Labrador. Their efforts to reach civilisation have an epic character, yet aromantic thread runs through the story to the very end. 

_Previous Novels by this Author_:

Dead or AliveBetween the TidesClay-FaceThe Bitter TestThe Yellow HibiscusTen Fathoms Deep

Mr. Templeton has reached distinct artistry in attractive dialogue, inclean and wholesome action and in presentation of exciting situationswithout undue strain on credulity. 

WARD, LOCK &CO. , LIMITED

NEW FICTION

THE HAWKMOOR MYSTERY

By W. H. LANE CRAUFORD

_Author of "The Missing Ace"_

A diamond of incalculable value is stolen from an Indian Temple byCaptain Berrington. Then, some twenty years afterwards, in an Englishcountry house, there are strange and bewildering happenings. Theelucidation of the mystery involved makes an exceptionally thrilling andpowerful story. 

A story written in a light vein that will bring many a chuckle to youwhilst its most absorbing problem is gradually unfolded. 

WARD, LOCK & CO. , LIMITED