ANDROCLES AND THE LION

BERNARD SHAW

1912

PROLOGUE

Overture; forest sounds, roaring of lions, Christian hymnfaintly. 

A jungle path. A lion's roar, a melancholy suffering roar, comesfrom the jungle. It is repeated nearer. The lion limps from thejungle on three legs, holding up his right forepaw, in which ahuge thorn sticks. He sits down and contemplates it. He licks it. He shakes it. He tries to extract it by scraping it along theground, and hurts himself worse. He roars piteously. He licks itagain. Tears drop from his eyes. He limps painfully off the pathand lies down under the trees, exhausted with pain. Heaving along sigh, like wind in a trombone, he goes to sleep. 

Androcles and his wife Megaera come along the path. He is asmall, thin, ridiculous little man who might be any age fromthirty to fifty-five. He has sandy hair, watery compassionateblue eyes, sensitive nostrils, and a very presentable forehead;but his good points go no further; his arms and legs and back, though wiry of their kind, look shrivelled and starved. Hecarries a big bundle, is very poorly clad, and seems tired andhungry. 

His wife is a rather handsome pampered slattern, well fed and inthe prime of life. She has nothing to carry, and has a stoutstick to help her along. 

MEGAERA (suddenly throwing down her stick) I won't go anotherstep. 

ANDROCLES (pleading wearily) Oh, not again, dear. What's the goodof stopping every two miles and saying you won't go another step?We must get on to the next village before night. There are wildbeasts in this wood: lions, they say. 

MEGAERA. I don't believe a word of it. You are always threateningme with wild beasts to make me walk the very soul out of my bodywhen I can hardly drag one foot before another. We haven't seen asingle lion yet. 

ANDROCLES. Well, dear, do you want to see one?

MEGAERA (tearing the bundle from his back) You cruel beast, youdon't care how tired I am, or what becomes of me (she throws thebundle on the ground): always thinking of yourself. Self! self!self! always yourself! (She sits down on the bundle). 

ANDROCLES (sitting down sadly on the ground with his elbows onhis knees and his head in his hands) We all have to think ofourselves occasionally, dear. 

MEGAERA. A man ought to think of his wife sometimes. 

ANDROCLES. He can't always help it, dear. You make me think ofyou a good deal. Not that I blame you. 

MEGAERA. Blame me! I should think not indeed. Is it my fault thatI'm married to you?

ANDROCLES. No, dear: that is my fault. 

MEGAERA. That's a nice thing to say to me. Aren't you happy withme?

ANDROCLES. I don't complain, my love. 

MEGAERA. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 

ANDROCLES. I am, my dear. 

MEGAERA. You're not: you glory in it. 

ANDROCLES. In what, darling?

MEGAERA. In everything. In making me a slave, and making yourselfa laughing-stock. Its not fair. You get me the name of being ashrew with your meek ways, always talking as if butter wouldn'tmelt in your mouth. And just because I look a big strong woman, and because I'm good-hearted and a bit hasty, and because you'realways driving me to do things I'm sorry for afterwards, peoplesay "Poor man: what a life his wife leads him!" Oh, if they onlyknew! And you think I don't know. But I do, I do, (screaming) Ido. 

ANDROCLES. Yes, my dear: I know you do. 

MEGAERA. Then why don't you treat me properly and be a goodhusband to me?

ANDROCLES. What can I do, my dear?

MEGAERA. What can you do! You can return to your duty, and comeback to your home and your friends, and sacrifice to the gods asall respectable people do, instead of having us hunted out ofhouse and home for being dirty, disreputable, blasphemingatheists. 

ANDROCLES. I'm not an atheist, dear: I am a Christian. 

MEGAERA. Well, isn't that the same thing, only ten times worse?Everybody knows that the Christians are the very lowest of thelow. 

ANDROCLES. Just like us, dear. 

MEGAERA. Speak for yourself. Don't you dare to compare me tocommon people. My father owned his own public-house; andsorrowful was the day for me when you first came drinking in ourbar. 

ANDROCLES. I confess I was addicted to it, dear. But I gave itup when I became a Christian. 

MEGAERA. You'd much better have remained a drunkard. I canforgive a man being addicted to drink: its only natural; and Idon't deny I like a drop myself sometimes. What I can't stand isyour being addicted to Christianity. And what's worse again, yourbeing addicted to animals. How is any woman to keep her houseclean when you bring in every stray cat and lost cur and lameduck in the whole countryside? You took the bread out of my mouthto feed them: you know you did: don't attempt to deny it. 

ANDROCLES. Only when they were hungry and you were getting toostout, dearie. 

MEGAERA. Yes, insult me, do. (Rising) Oh! I won't bear it anothermoment. You used to sit and talk to those dumb brute beasts forhours, when you hadn't a word for me. 

ANDROCLES. They never answered back, darling. (He rises and againshoulders the bundle). 

MEGAERA. Well, if you're fonder of animals than of your own wife, you can live with them here in the jungle. I've had enough ofthem and enough of you. I'm going back. I'm going home. 

ANDROCLES (barring the way back) No, dearie: don't take on likethat. We can't go back. We've sold everything: we should starve;and I should be sent to Rome and thrown to the lions--

MEGAERA. Serve you right! I wish the lions joy of you. (Screaming) Are you going to get out of my way and let me gohome?

ANDROCLES. No, dear--

MEGAERA. Then I'll make my way through the forest; and when I'meaten by the wild beasts you'll know what a wife you've lost. (She dashes into the jungle and nearly falls over the sleepinglion). Oh! Oh! Andy! Andy! (She totters back and collapses intothe arms of Androcles, who, crushed by her weight, falls on hisbundle). 

ANDROCLES (extracting himself from beneath her and slapping herhands in great anxiety) What is it, my precious, my pet? What'sthe matter? (He raises her head. Speechless with terror, shepoints in the direction of the sleeping lion. He stealscautiously towards the spot indicated by Megaera. She rises withan effort and totters after him). 

MEGAERA. No, Andy: you'll be killed. Come back. 

The lion utters a long snoring sigh. Androcles sees the lion andrecoils fainting into the arms of Megaera, who falls back on thebundle. They roll apart and lie staring in terror at one another. The lion is heard groaning heavily in the jungle. 

ANDROCLES (whispering) Did you see? A lion. 

MEGAERA (despairing) The gods have sent him to punish us becauseyou're a Christian. Take me away, Andy. Save me. 

ANDROCLES (rising) Meggy: there's one chance for you. It'll takehim pretty nigh twenty minutes to eat me (I'm rather stringy andtough) and you can escape in less time than that. 

MEGAERA. Oh, don't talk about eating. (The lion rises with agreat groan and limps towards them). Oh! (She faints). 

ANDROCLES (quaking, but keeping between the lion and Megaera)Don't you come near my wife, do you hear? (The lion groans. Androcles can hardly stand for trembling). Meggy: run. Run foryour life. If I take my eye off him, its all up. (The lion holdsup his wounded paw and flaps it piteously before Androcles). Oh, he's lame, poor old chap! He's got a thorn in his paw. Afrightfully big thorn. (Full of sympathy) Oh, poor old man! Didum get an awful thorn into um's tootsums wootsums? Has it made umtoo sick to eat a nice little Christian man for um's breakfast?Oh, a nice little Christian man will get um's thorn out for um;and then um shall eat the nice Christian man and the niceChristian man's nice big tender wifey pifey. (The lion respondsby moans of self-pity). Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, now (takingthe paw in his hand) um is not to bite and not to scratch, noteven if it hurts a very, very little. Now make velvet paws. That's right. (He pulls gingerly at the thorn. The lion, with anangry yell of pain, jerks back his paw so abruptly that Androclesis thrown on his back). Steadeee! Oh, did the nasty cruel littleChristian man hurt the sore paw? (The lion moans assentingly butapologetically). Well, one more little pull and it will be allover. Just one little, little, leetle pull; and then um will livehappily ever after. (He gives the thorn another pull. The lionroars and snaps his jaws with a terrifying clash). Oh, mustn'tfrighten um's good kind doctor, um's affectionate nursey. Thatdidn't hurt at all: not a bit. Just one more. Just to show howthe brave big lion can bear pain, not like the little crybabyChristian man. Oopsh! (The thorn comes out. The lion yells withpain, and shakes his paw wildly). That's it! (Holding up thethorn). Now it's out. Now lick um's paw to take away the nastyinflammation. See? (He licks his own hand. The lion nodsintelligently and licks his paw industriously). Clever littleliony-piony! Understands um's dear old friend Andy Wandy. (Thelion licks his face). Yes, kissums Andy Wandy. (The lion, wagging his tail violently, rises on his hind legs and embracesAndrocles, who makes a wry face and cries) Velvet paws! Velvetpaws! (The lion draws in his claws). That's right. (He embracesthe lion, who finally takes the end of his tail in one paw, places that tight around Androcles' waist, resting it on his hip. Androcles takes the other paw in his hand, stretches out his arm, and the two waltz rapturously round and round and finally awaythrough the jungle). 

MEGAERA (who has revived during the waltz) Oh, you coward, youhaven't danced with me for years; and now you go off dancing witha great brute beast that you haven't known for ten minutes andthat wants to eat your own wife. Coward! Coward! Coward! (Sherushes off after them into the jungle). 

ACT I

Evening. The end of three converging roads to Rome. Threetriumphal arches span them where they debouch on a square at thegate of the city. Looking north through the arches one can seethe campagna threaded by the three long dusty tracks. On the eastand west sides of the square are long stone benches. An oldbeggar sits on the east side of the square, his bowl at his feet. Through the eastern arch a squad of Roman soldiers tramps alongescorting a batch of Christian prisoners of both sexes and allages, among them one Lavinia, a goodlooking resolute young woman, apparently of higher social standing than her fellow-prisoners. Acenturion, carrying his vinewood cudgel, trudges alongside thesquad, on its right, in command of it. All are tired and dusty;but the soldiers are dogged and indifferent, the Christianslight-hearted and determined to treat their hardships as a jokeand encourage one another. 

A bugle is heard far behind on the road, where the rest of thecohort is following. 

CENTURION (stopping) Halt! Orders from the Captain. (They haltand wait). Now then, you Christians, none of your larks. Thecaptain's coming. Mind you behave yourselves. No singing. Lookrespectful. Look serious, if you're capable of it. See that bigbuilding over there? That's the Coliseum. That's where you'll bethrown to the lions or set to fight the gladiators presently. Think of that; and it'll help you to behave properly before thecaptain. (The Captain arrives). Attention! Salute! (The soldierssalute). 

A CHRISTIAN (cheerfully) God bless you, Captain. 

THE CENTURION (scandalised) Silence!

The Captain, a patrician, handsome, about thirty-five, very coldand distinguished, very superior and authoritative, steps up on astone seat at the west side of the square, behind the centurion, so as to dominate the others more effectually. 

THE CAPTAIN. Centurion. 

THE CENTURION. (standing at attention and saluting) Sir?

THE CAPTAIN (speaking stiffly and officially) You will remindyour men, Centurion, that we are now entering Rome. You willinstruct them that once inside the gates of Rome they are in thepresence of the Emperor. You will make them understand that thelax discipline of the march cannot be permitted here. You willinstruct them to shave every day, not every week. You willimpress on them particularly that there must be an end to theprofanity and blasphemy of singing Christian hymns on the march. I have to reprimand you, Centurion, for not only allowing this, but actually doing it yourself. 

THE CENTURION. The men march better, Captain. 

THE CAPTAIN. No doubt. For that reason an exception is made inthe case of the march called Onward Christian Soldiers. This maybe sung, except when marching through the forum or within hearingof the Emperor's palace; but the words must be altered to "Throwthem to the Lions. "

The Christians burst into shrieks of uncontrollable laughter, tothe great scandal of the Centurion. 

CENTURION. Silence! Silen-n-n-n-nce! Where's your behavior? Isthat the way to listen to an officer? (To the Captain) That'swhat we have to put up with from these Christians every day, sir. They're always laughing and joking something scandalous. They'veno religion: that's how it is. 

LAVINIA. But I think the Captain meant us to laugh, Centurion. Itwas so funny. 

CENTURION. You'll find out how funny it is when you're thrown tothe lions to-morrow. (To the Captain, who looks displeased) Begpardon, Sir. (To the Christians) Silennnnce!

THE CAPTAIN. You are to instruct your men that all intimacy withChristian prisoners must now cease. The men have fallen intohabits of dependence upon the prisoners, especially the femaleprisoners, for cooking, repairs to uniforms, writing letters, andadvice in their private affairs. In a Roman soldier suchdependence is inadmissible. Let me see no more of it whilst weare in the city. Further, your orders are that in addressingChristian prisoners, the manners and tone of your men mustexpress abhorrence and contempt. Any shortcoming in this respectwill be regarded as a breach of discipline. (He turns to theprisoners) Prisoners. 

CENTURION (fiercely) Prisonerrrrrs! Tention! Silence!

THE CAPTAIN. I call your attention, prisoners, to the fact thatyou may be called on to appear in the Imperial Circus at any timefrom tomorrow onwards according to the requirements of themanagers. I may inform you that as there is a shortage ofChristians just now, you may expect to be called on very soon. 

LAVINIA. What will they do to us, Captain?

CENTURION. Silence!

THE CAPTAIN. The women will be conducted into the arena with thewild beasts of the Imperial Menagerie, and will suffer theconsequences. The men, if of an age to bear arms, will be givenweapons to defend themselves, if they choose, against theImperial Gladiators. 

LAVINIA. Captain: is there no hope that this cruel persecution--

CENTURION (shocked) Silence! Hold your tongue, there. Persecution, indeed!

THE CAPTAIN (unmoved and somewhat sardonic) Persecution is not aterm applicable to the acts of the Emperor. The Emperor is theDefender of the Faith. In throwing you to the lions he will beupholding the interests of religion in Rome. If you were to throwhim to the lions, that would no doubt be persecution. 

The Christians again laugh heartily. 

CENTURION (horrified) Silence, I tell you! Keep silence there. Did anyone ever hear the like of this?

LAVINIA. Captain: there will be nobody to appreciate your jokeswhen we are gone. 

THE CAPTAIN (unshaken in his official delivery) I call theattention of the female prisoner Lavinia to the fact that as theEmperor is a divine personage, her imputation of cruelty is notonly treason, but sacrilege. I point out to her further thatthere is no foundation for the charge, as the Emperor does notdesire that any prisoner should suffer; nor can any Christian beharmed save through his or her own obstinacy. All that isnecessary is to sacrifice to the gods: a simple and convenientceremony effected by dropping a pinch of incense on the altar, after which the prisoner is at once set free. Under suchcircumstances you have only your own perverse folly to blame ifyou suffer. I suggest to you that if you cannot burn a morsel ofincense as a matter of conviction, you might at least do so as amatter of good taste, to avoid shocking the religious convictionsof your fellow citizens. I am aware that these considerations donot weigh with Christians; but it is my duty to call yourattention to them in order that you may have no ground forcomplaining of your treatment, or of accusing the Emperor ofcruelty when he is showing you the most signal clemency. Looked at from this point of view, every Christian who hasperished in the arena has really committed suicide. 

LAVINIA. Captain: your jokes are too grim. Do not think it iseasy for us to die. Our faith makes life far stronger and morewonderful in us than when we walked in darkness and had nothingto live for. Death is harder for us than for you: the martyr'sagony is as bitter as his triumph is glorious. 

THE CAPTAIN (rather troubled, addressing her personally andgravely) A martyr, Lavinia, is a fool. Your death will provenothing. 

LAVINIA. Then why kill me?

THE CAPTAIN. I mean that truth, if there be any truth, needs nomartyrs. 

LAVINIA. No; but my faith, like your sword, needs testing. Canyou test your sword except by staking your life on it?

THE CAPTAIN (suddenly resuming his official tone) I call theattention of the female prisoner to the fact that Christians arenot allowed to draw the Emperor's officers into arguments and putquestions to them for which the military regulations provide noanswer. (The Christians titter). 

LAVINIA. Captain: how CAN you?

THE CAPTAIN. I call the female prisoner's attention specially tothe fact that four comfortable homes have been offered her byofficers of this regiment, of which she can have her choice themoment she chooses to sacrifice as all well-bred Roman ladies do. I have no more to say to the prisoners. 

CENTURION. Dismiss! But stay where you are. 

THE CAPTAIN. Centurion: you will remain here with your men incharge of the prisoners until the arrival of three Christianprisoners in the custody of a cohort of the tenth legion. Amongthese prisoners you will particularly identify an armorer namedFerrovius, of dangerous character and great personal strength, and a Greek tailor reputed to be a sorcerer, by name Androcles. You will add the three to your charge here and march them all tothe Coliseum, where you will deliver them into the custody of themaster of the gladiators and take his receipt, countersigned bythe keeper of the beasts and the acting manager. You understandyour instructions?

CENTURION. Yes, Sir. 

THE CAPTAIN. Dismiss. (He throws off his air of parade, anddescends down from the perch. The Centurion seats on it andprepares for a nap, whilst his men stand at ease. The Christianssit down on the west side of the square, glad to rest. Laviniaalone remains standing to speak to the Captain). 

LAVINIA. Captain: is this man who is to join us the famousFerrovius, who has made such wonderful conversions in thenorthern cities?

THE CAPTAIN. Yes. We are warned that he has the strength of anelephant and the temper of a mad bull. Also that he is stark mad. Not a model Christian, it would seem. 

LAVINIA. You need not fear him if he is a Christian, Captain. 

THE CAPTAIN (coldly) I shall not fear him in any case, Lavinia. 

LAVINIA (her eyes dancing) How brave of you, Captain!

THE CAPTAIN. You are right: it was silly thing to say. (In alower tone, humane and urgent) Lavinia: do Christians know how tolove?

LAVINIA (composedly) Yes, Captain: they love even their enemies. 

THE CAPTAIN. Is that easy?

LAVINIA. Very easy, Captain, when their enemies are as handsomeas you. 

THE CAPTAIN. Lavinia: you are laughing at me. 

LAVINIA. At you, Captain! Impossible. 

THE CAPTAIN. Then you are flirting with me, which is worse. Don'tbe foolish. 

LAVINIA. But such a very handsome captain. 

THE CAPTAIN. Incorrigible! (Urgently) Listen to me. The men inthat audience tomorrow will be the vilest of voluptuaries: men inwhom the only passion excited by a beautiful woman is a lust tosee her tortured and torn shrieking limb from limb. It is a crimeto dignify that passion. It is offering yourself for violation bythe whole rabble of the streets and the riff-raff of the court atthe same time. Why will you not choose rather a kindly love andan honorable alliance?

LAVINIA. They cannot violate my soul. I alone can do that bysacrificing to false gods. 

THE CAPTAIN. Sacrifice then to the true God. What does his namematter? We call him Jupiter. The Greeks call him Zeus. Call himwhat you will as you drop the incense on the altar flame: He willunderstand. 

LAVINIA. No. I couldn't. That is the strange thing, Captain, thata little pinch of incense should make all that difference. Religion is such a great thing that when I meet really religiouspeople we are friends at once, no matter what name we give to thedivine will that made us and moves us. Oh, do you think that I, awoman, would quarrel with you for sacrificing to a woman god likeDiana, if Diana meant to you what Christ means to me? No: weshould kneel side by side before her altar like two children. Butwhen men who believe neither in my god nor in their own--men whodo not know the meaning of the word religion--when these men dragme to the foot of an iron statue that has become the symbol ofthe terror and darkness through which they walk, of their crueltyand greed, of their hatred of God and their oppression of man--whenthey ask me to pledge my soul before the people that thishideous idol is God, and that all this wickedness and falsehoodis divine truth, I cannot do it, not if they could put a thousandcruel deaths on me. I tell you, it is physically impossible. Listen, Captain: did you ever try to catch a mouse in your hand?Once there was a dear little mouse that used to come out and playon my table as I was reading. I wanted to take him in my hand andcaress him; and sometimes he got among my books so that he couldnot escape me when I stretched out my hand. And I did stretch outmy hand; but it always came back in spite of me. I was not afraidof him in my heart; but my hand refused: it is not in the natureof my hand to touch a mouse. Well, Captain, if I took a pinch ofincense in my hand and stretched it out over the altar fire, myhand would come back. My body would be true to my faith even ifyou could corrupt my mind. And all the time I should believe morein Diana than my persecutors have ever believed in anything. Canyou understand that?

THE CAPTAIN (simply) Yes: I understand that. But my hand wouldnot come back. The hand that holds the sword has been trained notto come back from anything but victory. 

LAVINIA. Not even from death?

THE CAPTAIN. Least of all from death. 

LAVINIA. Then I must not come back either. A woman has to bebraver than a soldier. 

THE CAPTAIN. Prouder, you mean. 

LAVINIA (startled) Prouder! You call our courage pride!

THE CAPTAIN. There is no such thing as courage: there is onlypride. You Christians are the proudest devils on earth. 

LAVINIA (hurt) Pray God then my pride may never become a falsepride. (She turns away as if she did not wish to continue theconversation, but softens and says to him with a smile) Thank youfor trying to save me from death. 

THE CAPTAIN. I knew it was no use; but one tries in spite ofone's knowledge. 

LAVINIA. Something stirs, even in the iron breast of a Romansoldier!

THE CAPTAIN. It will soon be iron again. I have seen many womendie, and forgotten them in a week. 

LAVINIA. Remember me for a fortnight, handsome Captain. I shallbe watching you, perhaps. 

THE CAPTAIN. From the skies? Do not deceive yourself, Lavinia. There is no future for you beyond the grave. 

LAVINIA. What does that matter? Do you think I am only runningaway from the terrors of life into the comfort of heaven? Ifthere were no future, or if the future were one of torment, Ishould have to go just the same. The hand of God is upon me. 

THE CAPTAIN. Yes: when all is said, we are both patricians, Lavinia, and must die for our beliefs. Farewell. (He offers herhis hand. She takes it and presses it. He walks away, trim andcalm. She looks after him for a moment, and cries a little as hedisappears through the eastern arch. A trumpet-call is heard fromthe road through the western arch). 

CENTURION (waking up and rising) Cohort of the tenth withprisoners. Two file out with me to receive them. (He goes outthrough the western arch, followed by four soldiers in twofiles). 

Lentulus and Metellus come into the square from the west sidewith a little retinue of servants. Both are young courtiers, dressed in the extremity of fashion. Lentulus is slender, fair-haired, epicene. Metellus is manly, compactly built, oliveskinned, not a talker. 

LENTULUS. Christians, by Jove! Let's chaff them. 

METELLUS. Awful brutes. If you knew as much about them as I doyou wouldn't want to chaff them. Leave them to the lions. 

LENTULUS (indicating Lavinia, who is still looking towards thearches after the captain). That woman's got a figure. (He walkspast her, staring at her invitingly, but she is preoccupied andis not conscious of him). Do you turn the other cheek when theykiss you?

LAVINIA (starting) What?

LENTULus. Do you turn the other cheek when they kiss you, fascinating Christian?

LAVINIA. Don't be foolish. (To Metellus, who has remained on herright, so that she is between them) Please don't let your friendbehave like a cad before the soldiers. How are they to respectand obey patricians if they see them behaving like street boys?(Sharply to Lentulus) Pull yourself together, man. Hold your headup. Keep the corners of your mouth firm; and treat me respectfully. What do you take me for?

LENTULUS (irresolutely) Look here, you know: I--you--I--

LAVINIA. Stuff! Go about your business. (She turns decisivelyaway and sits down with her comrades, leaving him disconcerted). 

METELLUS. You didn't get much out of that. I told you they werebrutes. 

LENTULUS. Plucky little filly! I suppose she thinks I care. (Withan air of indifference he strolls with Metellus to the east sideof the square, where they stand watching the return of theCenturion through the western arch with his men, escorting threeprisoners: Ferrovius, Androcles, and Spintho. Ferrovius is apowerful, choleric man in the prime of life, with large nostrils, staring eyes, and a thick neck: a man whose sensibilities arekeen and violent to the verge of madness. Spintho is a debauchee, the wreck of a good-looking man gone hopelessly to the bad. Androcles is overwhelmed with grief, and is restraining his tearswith great difficulty). 

THE CENTURION (to Lavinia) Here are some pals for you. Thislittle bit is Ferrovius that you talk so much about. (Ferroviusturns on him threateningly. The Centurion holds up his leftforefinger in admonition). Now remember that you're a Christian, and that you've got to return good for evil. (Ferrovius controlshimself convulsively; moves away from temptation to the east sidenear Lentulus; clasps his hands in silent prayer; and throwshimself on his knees). That's the way to manage them, eh! Thisfine fellow (indicating Androcles, who comes to his left, andmakes Lavinia a heartbroken salutation) is a sorcerer. A Greektailor, he is. A real sorcerer, too: no mistake about it. Thetenth marches with a leopard at the head of the column. He made apet of the leopard; and now he's crying at being parted from it. (Androcles sniffs lamentably). Ain't you, old chap? Well, cheerup, we march with a Billy goat (Androcles brightens up) that'skilled two leopards and ate a turkey-cock. You can have him for apet if you like. (Androcles, quite consoled, goes past theCenturion to Lavinia, and sits down contentedly on the ground onher left). This dirty dog (collaring Spintho) is a realChristian. He mobs the temples, he does (at each accusation hegives the neck of Spintho's tunic a twist); he goes smashingthings mad drunk, he does; he steals the gold vessels, he does;he assaults the priestesses, he does pah! (He flings Spintho intothe middle of the group of prisoners). You're the sort that makesduty a pleasure, you are. 

SPINTHO (gasping) That's it: strangle me. Kick me. Beat me. Revile me. Our Lord was beaten and reviled. That's my way toheaven. Every martyr goes to heaven, no matter what he's done. That is so, isn't it, brother?

CENTURION. Well, if you're going to heaven, _I_ don't want to gothere. I wouldn't be seen with you. 

LENTULUS. Haw! Good! (Indicating the kneeling Ferrovius). Is thisone of the turn-the-other-cheek gentlemen, Centurion?

CENTURION. Yes, sir. Lucky for you too, sir, if you want to takeany liberties with him. 

LENTULUS (to Ferrovius) You turn the other cheek when you'restruck, I'm told. 

FERROVIUS (slowly turning his great eyes on him) Yes, by thegrace of God, I do, NOW. 

LENTULUS. Not that you're a coward, of course; but out of purepiety. 

FERROVIUS. I fear God more than man; at least I try to. 

LENTULUS. Let's see. (He strikes him on the cheek. Androclesmakes a wild movement to rise and interfere; but Lavinia holdshim down, watching Ferrovius intently. Ferrovius, withoutflinching, turns the other cheek. Lentulus, rather out ofcountenance, titters foolishly, and strikes him again feebly). You know, I should feel ashamed if I let myself be struck likethat, and took it lying down. But then I'm not a Christian: I'm aman. (Ferrovius rises impressively and towers over him. Lentulusbecomes white with terror; and a shade of green flickers in hischeek for a moment). 

FERROVIUS (with the calm of a steam hammer) I have not alwaysbeen faithful. The first man who struck me as you have juststruck me was a stronger man than you: he hit me harder than Iexpected. I was tempted and fell; and it was then that I firsttasted bitter shame. I never had a happy moment after that untilI had knelt and asked his forgiveness by his bedside in thehospital. (Putting his hands on Lentulus's shoulders withpaternal weight). But now I have learnt to resist with a strengththat is not my own. I am not ashamed now, nor angry. 

LENTULUS (uneasily) Er--good evening. (He tries to move away). 

FERROVIUS (gripping his shoulders) Oh, do not harden your heart, young man. Come: try for yourself whether our way is not betterthan yours. I will now strike you on one cheek; and you will turnthe other and learn how much better you will feel than if yougave way to the promptings of anger. (He holds him with one handand clenches the other fist). 

LENTULUS. Centurion: I call on you to protect me. 

CENTURION. You asked for it, sir. It's no business of ours. You've had two whacks at him. Better pay him a trifle and squareit that way. 

LENTULUS. Yes, of course. (To Ferrovius) It was only a bit offun, I assure you: I meant no harm. Here. (He proffers a goldcoin). 

FERROVIUS (taking it and throwing it to the old beggar, whosnatches it up eagerly, and hobbles off to spend it) Give allthou hast to the poor. Come, friend: courage! I may hurt yourbody for a moment; but your soul will rejoice in the victory ofthe spirit over the flesh. (He prepares to strike). 

ANDROCLES. Easy, Ferrovius, easy: you broke the last man's jaw. 

Lentulus, with a moan of terror, attempts to fly; but Ferroviusholds him ruthlessly. 

FERROVIUS. Yes; but I saved his soul. What matters a broken jaw?

LENTULUS. Don't touch me, do you hear? The law--

FERROVIUS. The law will throw me to the lions tomorrow: whatworse could it do were I to slay you? Pray for strength; and itshall be given to you. 

LENTULUS. Let me go. Your religion forbids you to strike me. 

FERROVIUS. On the contrary, it commands me to strike you. How canyou turn the other cheek, if you are not first struck on the onecheek?

LENTULUS (almost in tears) But I'm convinced already that whatyou said is quite right. I apologize for striking you. 

FERROVIUS (greatly pleased) My son: have I softened your heart?Has the good seed fallen in a fruitful place? Are your feetturning towards a better path?

LENTULUS (abjectly) Yes, yes. There's a great deal in what yousay. 

FERROVIUS (radiant) Join us. Come to the lions. Come to sufferingand death. 

LENTULUS (falling on his knees and bursting into tears) Oh, helpme. Mother! mother!

FERROVIUS. These tears will water your soul and make it bringforth good fruit, my son. God has greatly blessed my efforts atconversion. Shall I tell you a miracle--yes, a miracle--wroughtby me in Cappadocia? A young man--just such a one as you, withgolden hair like yours--scoffed at and struck me as you scoffedat and struck me. I sat up all night with that youth wrestlingfor his soul; and in the morning not only was he a Christian, buthis hair was as white as snow. (Lentulus falls in a dead faint). There, there: take him away. The spirit has overwrought him, poorlad. Carry him gently to his house; and leave the rest to heaven. 

CENTURION. Take him home. (The servants, intimidated, hastilycarry him out. Metellus is about to follow when Ferrovius layshis hand on his shoulder). 

FERROVIUS. You are his friend, young man. You will see that heis taken safely home. 

METELLUS (with awestruck civility) Certainly, sir. I shall dowhatever you think best. Most happy to have made your acquaintance, I'm sure. You may depend on me. Good evening, sir. 

FERROVIUS (with unction) The blessing of heaven upon you and him. 

Metellus follows Lentulus. The Centurion returns to his seat toresume his interrupted nap. The deepest awe has settled on thespectators. Ferrovius, with a long sigh of happiness, goes toLavinia, and offers her his hand. 

LAVINIA (taking it) So that is how you convert people, Ferrovius. 

FERROVIUS. Yes: there has been a blessing on my work in spite ofmy unworthiness and my backslidings--all through my wicked, devilish temper. This man--

ANDROCLES (hastily) Don't slap me on the back, brother. She knowsyou mean me. 

FERROVIUS. How I wish I were weak like our brother here! for thenI should perhaps be meek and gentle like him. And yet there seemsto be a special providence that makes my trials less than his. Ihear tales of the crowd scoffing and casting stones and revilingthe brethren; but when I come, all this stops: my influence calmsthe passions of the mob: they listen to me in silence; andinfidels are often converted by a straight heart-to-heart talkwith me. Every day I feel happier, more confident. Every daylightens the load of the great terror. 

LAVINIA. The great terror? What is that?

Ferrovius shakes his head and does not answer. He sits downbeside her on her left, and buries his face in his hands ingloomy meditation. 

ANDROCLES. Well, you see, sister, he's never quite sure ofhimself. Suppose at the last moment in the arena, with thegladiators there to fight him, one of them was to say anything toannoy him, he might forget himself and lay that gladiator out. 

LAVINIA. That would be splendid. 

FERROVIUS (springing up in horror) What!

ANDROCLES. Oh, sister!

FERROVIUS. Splendid to betray my master, like Peter! Splendid toact like any common blackguard in the day of my proving! Woman:you are no Christian. (He moves away from her to the middle ofthe square, as if her neighborhood contaminated him). 

LAVINIA (laughing) You know, Ferrovius, I am not always aChristian. I don't think anybody is. There are moments when Iforget all about it, and something comes out quite naturally, asit did then. 

SPINTHO. What does it matter? If you die in the arena, you'll bea martyr; and all martyrs go to heaven, no matter what they havedone. That's so, isn't it, Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. Yes: that is so, if we are faithful to the end. 

LAVINIA. I'm not so sure. 

SPINTHO. Don't say that. That's blasphemy. Don't say that, I tellyou. We shall be saved, no matter WHAT we do. 

LAVINIA. Perhaps you men will all go into heaven bravely and intriumph, with your heads erect and golden trumpets sounding foryou. But I am sure I shall only be allowed to squeeze myself inthrough a little crack in the gate after a great deal of begging. I am not good always: I have moments only. 

SPINTHO. You're talking nonsense, woman. I tell you, martyrdompays all scores. 

ANDROCLES. Well, let us hope so, brother, for your sake. You'vehad a gay time, haven't you? with your raids on the temples. Ican't help thinking that heaven will be very dull for a man ofyour temperament. (Spintho snarls). Don't be angry: I say it onlyto console you in case you should die in your bed tonight in thenatural way. There's a lot of plague about. 

SPINTHO (rising and running about in abject terror) I neverthought of that. O Lord, spare me to be martyred. Oh, what athought to put into the mind of a brother! Oh, let me be martyredtoday, now. I shall die in the night and go to hell. You're asorcerer: you've put death into my mind. Oh, curse you, curseyou! (He tries to seize Androcles by the throat). 

FERROVIUS (holding him in a grip of iron) What's this, brother?Anger! Violence! Raising your hand to a brother Christian!

SPINTHO. It's easy for you. You're strong. Your nerves are allright. But I'm full of disease. (Ferrovius takes his hand fromhim with instinctive disgust). I've drunk all my nerves away. Ishall have the horrors all night. 

ANDROCLES (sympathetic) Oh, don't take on so, brother. We're allsinners. 

SPINTHO (snivelling, trying to feel consoled). Yes: I daresay ifthe truth were known, you're all as bad as I am. 

LAVINIA (contemptuously) Does THAT comfort you?

FERROVIUS (sternly) Pray, man, pray. 

SPINTHO. What's the good of praying? If we're martyred we shallgo to heaven, shan't we, whether we pray or not?

FERROVIUS. What's that? Not pray! (Seizing him again) Pray thisinstant, you dog, you rotten hound, you slimy snake, you beastlygoat, or--

SPINTHO. Yes: beat me: kick me. I forgive you: mind that. 

FERROVIUS (spurning him with loathing) Yah! (Spintho reels awayand falls in front of Ferrovius). 

ANDROCLES (reaching out and catching the skirt of Ferrovius'stunic) Dear brother: if you wouldn't mind--just for my sake--

FERROVIUS. Well?

ANDROCLES. Don't call him by the names of the animals. We've noright to. I've had such friends in dogs. A pet snake is the bestof company. I was nursed on goat's milk. Is it fair to them tocall the like of him a dog or a snake or a goat?

FERROVIUS. I only meant that they have no souls. 

ANDROCLES (anxiously protesting) Oh, believe me, they have. Justthe same as you and me. I really don't think I could consent togo to heaven if I thought there were to be no animals there. Think of what they suffer here. 

FERROVIUS. That's true. Yes: that is just. They will have theirshare in heaven. 

SPINTHO (who has picked himself up and is sneaking past Ferroviuson his left, sneers derisively)!!

FERROVIUS (turning on him fiercely) What's that you say?

SPINTHO (cornering). Nothing. 

FERROVIUS (clenching his fist) Do animals go to heaven or not?

SPINTHO. I never said they didn't. 

FERROVIUS (implacable) Do they or do they not?

SPINTHO. They do: they do. (Scrambling out of Ferrovius's reach). Oh, curse you for frightening me!

A bugle call is heard. 

CENTURION (waking up) Tention! Form as before. Now then, prisoners, up with you and trot along spry. (The soldiers fallin. The Christians rise). 

A man with an ox goad comes running through the central arch. 

THE OX DRIVER. Here, you soldiers! clear out of the way for theEmperor. 

THE CENTURION. Emperor! Where's the Emperor? You ain't theEmperor, are you?

THE OX DRIVER. It's the menagerie service. My team of oxen isdrawing the new lion to the Coliseum. You clear the road. 

CENTURION. What! Go in after you in your dust, with half the townat the heels of you and your lion! Not likely. We go first. 

THE OX DRIVER. The menagerie service is the Emperor's personalretinue. You clear out, I tell you. 

CENTURION. You tell me, do you? Well, I'll tell you something. Ifthe lion is menagerie service, the lion's dinner is menagerieservice too. This (pointing to the Christians) is the lion'sdinner. So back with you to your bullocks double quick; and learnyour place. March. (The soldiers start). Now then, you Christians, step out there. 

LAVINIA (marching) Come along, the rest of the dinner. I shall bethe olives and anchovies. 

ANOTHER CHRISTIAN (laughing) I shall be the soup. 

ANOTHER. I shall be the fish. 

ANOTHER. Ferrovius shall be the roast boar. 

FERROVIUS (heavily) I see the joke. Yes, yes: I shall be theroast boar. Ha! ha! (He laughs conscientiously and marches outwith them). 

ANDROCLES. I shall be the mince pie. (Each announcement isreceived with a louder laugh by all the rest as the joke catcheson). 

CENTURION (scandalised) Silence! Have some sense of yoursituation. Is this the way for martyrs to behave? (To Spintho, who is quaking and loitering) I know what YOU'LL be at thatdinner. You'll be the emetic. (He shoves him rudely along). 

SPINTHO. It's too dreadful: I'm not fit to die. 

CENTURION. Fitter than you are to live, you swine. 

They pass from the square westward. The oxen, drawing a waggonwith a great wooden cage and the lion in it, arrive through thecentral arch. 

ACT II

Behind the Emperor's box at the Coliseum, where the performersassemble before entering the arena. In the middle a wide passageleading to the arena descends from the floor level under theimperial box. On both sides of this passage steps ascend to alanding at the back entrance to the box. The landing forms abridge across the passage. At the entrance to the passage are twobronze mirrors, one on each side. 

On the west side of this passage, on the right hand of any onecoming from the box and standing on the bridge, the martyrs aresitting on the steps. Lavinia is seated half-way up, thoughtful, trying to look death in the face. On her left Androcles consoleshimself by nursing a cat. Ferrovius stands behind them, his eyesblazing, his figure stiff with intense resolution. At the foot ofthe steps crouches Spintho, with his head clutched in his hands, full of horror at the approach of martyrdom. 

On the east side of the passage the gladiators are standing andsitting at ease, waiting, like the Christians, for their turn inthe arena. One (Retiarius) is a nearly naked man with a net and atrident. Another (Secutor) is in armor with a sword. He carries ahelmet with a barred visor. The editor of the gladiators sits ona chair a little apart from them. 

The Call Boy enters from the passage. 

THE CALL Boy. Number six. Retiarius versus Secutor. 

The gladiator with the net picks it up. The gladiator with thehelmet puts it on; and the two go into the arena, the net throwertaking out a little brush and arranging his hair as he goes, theother tightening his straps and shaking his shoulders loose. Bothlook at themselves in the mirrors before they enter the passage. 

LAVINIA. Will they really kill one another?

SPINTHO. Yes, if the people turn down their thumbs. 

THE EDITOR. You know nothing about it. The people indeed! Do yousuppose we would kill a man worth perhaps fifty talents to pleasethe riffraff? I should like to catch any of my men at it. 

SPINTHO. I thought--

THE EDITOR (contemptuously) You thought! Who cares what youthink? YOU'LL be killed all right enough. 

SPINTHO (groans and again hides his face)!!! Then is nobody everkilled except us poor--

LAVINIA. Christians?

THE EDITOR. If the vestal virgins turn down their thumbs, that'sanother matter. They're ladies of rank. 

LAVINIA. Does the Emperor ever interfere?

THE EDITOR. Oh, yes: he turns his thumbs up fast enough if thevestal virgins want to have one of his pet fighting men killed. 

ANDROCLES. But don't they ever just only pretend to kill oneanother? Why shouldn't you pretend to die, and get dragged out asif you were dead; and then get up and go home, like an actor?

THE EDITOR. See here: you want to know too much. There will be nopretending about the new lion: let that be enough for you. He'shungry. 

SPINTHO (groaning with horror) Oh, Lord! Can't you stop talkingabout it? Isn't it bad enough for us without that?

ANDROCLES. I'm glad he's hungry. Not that I want him to suffer, poor chap! but then he'll enjoy eating me so much more. There's acheerful side to everything. 

THE EDITOR (rising and striding over to Androcles) Here: don'tyou be obstinate. Come with me and drop the pinch of incense onthe altar. That's all you need do to be let off. 

ANDROCLES. No: thank you very much indeed; but I really mustn't. 

THE EDITOR. What! Not to save your life?

ANDROCLES. I'd rather not. I couldn't sacrifice to Diana: she's ahuntress, you know, and kills things. 

THE EDITOR. That don't matter. You can choose your own altar. Sacrifice to Jupiter: he likes animals: he turns himself into ananimal when he goes off duty. 

ANDROCLES. No: it's very kind of you; but I feel I can't savemyself that way. 

THE EDITOR. But I don't ask you to do it to save yourself: I askyou to do it to oblige me personally. 

ANDROCLES (scrambling up in the greatest agitation) Oh, pleasedon't say that. That is dreadful. You mean so kindly by me thatit seems quite horrible to disoblige you. If you could arrangefor me to sacrifice when there's nobody looking, I shouldn'tmind. But I must go into the arena with the rest. My honor, youknow. 

THE EDITOR. Honor! The honor of a tailor?

ANDROCLES (apologetically) Well, perhaps honor is too strong anexpression. Still, you know, I couldn't allow the tailors to geta bad name through me. 

THE EDITOR. How much will you remember of all that when you smellthe beast's breath and see his jaws opening to tear out yourthroat?

SPINTHO (rising with a yell of terror) I can't bear it. Where'sthe altar? I'll sacrifice. 

FERROVIUS. Dog of an apostate. Iscariot!

SPINTHO. I'll repent afterwards. I fully mean to die in the arenaI'll die a martyr and go to heaven; but not this time, not now, not until my nerves are better. Besides, I'm too young: I want tohave just one more good time. (The gladiators laugh at him). Oh, will no one tell me where the altar is? (He dashes into thepassage and vanishes). 

ANDROCLES (to the Editor, pointing after Spintho) Brother: Ican't do that, not even to oblige you. Don't ask me. 

THE EDITOR. Well, if you're determined to die, I can't help you. But I wouldn't be put off by a swine like that. 

FERROVIUS. Peace, peace: tempt him not. Get thee behind him, Satan. 

THE EDITOR (flushing with rage) For two pins I'd take a turn inthe arena myself to-day, and pay you out for daring to talk to melike that. 

Ferrovius springs forward. 

LAVINIA (rising quickly and interposing) Brother, brother: youforget. 

FERROVIUS (curbing himself by a mighty effort) Oh, my temper, mywicked temper! (To the Editor, as Lavinia sits down again, reassured). Forgive me, brother. My heart was full of wrath: Ishould have been thinking of your dear precious soul. 

THE EDITOR. Yah! (He turns his back on Ferrovius contemptuously, and goes back to his seat). 

FERROVIUS (continuing) And I forgot it all: I thought of nothingbut offering to fight you with one hand tied behind me. 

THE EDITOR (turning pugnaciously) What!

FERROVIUS (on the border line between zeal and ferocity) Oh, don't give way to pride and wrath, brother. I could do it soeasily. I could--

They are separated by the Menagerie Keeper, who rushes in fromthe passage, furious. 

THE KEEPER. Here's a nice business! Who let that Christian out ofhere down to the dens when we were changing the lion into thecage next the arena?

THE EDITOR. Nobody let him. He let himself. 

THE KEEPER. Well, the lion's ate him. 

Consternation. The Christians rise, greatly agitated. Thegladiators sit callously, but are highly amused. All speak or cryout or laugh at once. Tumult. 

LAVINIA. Oh, poor wretch! FERROVIUS. The apostate has perished. Praise be to God's justice! ANDROCLES. The poor beast wasstarving. It couldn't help itself. THE CHRISTIANS. What! Ate him!How frightful! How terrible! Without a moment to repent! God bemerciful to him, a sinner! Oh, I can't bear to think of it! Inthe midst of his sin! Horrible, horrible! THE EDITOR. Serve therotter right! THE GLADIATORS. Just walked into it, he did. He'smartyred all right enough. Good old lion! Old Jock doesn't likethat: look at his face. Devil a better! The Emperor will laughwhen he hears of it. I can't help smiling. Ha ha ha!!!!!

THE KEEPER. Now his appetite's taken off, he won't as much aslook at another Christian for a week. 

ANDROCLES. Couldn't you have saved him brother?

THE KEEPER. Saved him! Saved him from a lion that I'd just gotmad with hunger! a wild one that came out of the forest not fourweeks ago! He bolted him before you could say Balbus. 

LAVINIA (sitting down again) Poor Spintho! And it won't evencount as martyrdom!

THE KEEPER. Serve him right! What call had he to walk down thethroat of one of my lions before he was asked?

ANDROCLES. Perhaps the lion won't eat me now. 

THE KEEPER. Yes: that's just like a Christian: think only ofyourself! What am I to do? What am I to say to the Emperor whenhe sees one of my lions coming into the arena half asleep?

THE EDITOR. Say nothing. Give your old lion some bitters and amorsel of fried fish to wake up his appetite. (Laughter). 

THE KEEPER. Yes: it's easy for you to talk; but--

THE EDITOR (scrambling to his feet) Sh! Attention there! TheEmperor. (The Keeper bolts precipitately into the passage. Thegladiators rise smartly and form into line). 

The Emperor enters on the Christians' side, conversing withMetellus, and followed by his suite. 

THE GLADIATORS. Hail, Caesar! those about to die salute thee. 

CAESAR. Good morrow, friends. 

Metellus shakes hands with the Editor, who accepts hiscondescension with bluff respect. 

LAVINIA. Blessing, Caesar, and forgiveness!

CAESAR (turning in some surprise at the salutation) There is noforgiveness for Christianity. 

LAVINIA. I did not mean that, Caesar. I mean that WE forgive YOU. 

METELLUS. An inconceivable liberty! Do you not know, woman, thatthe Emperor can do no wrong and therefore cannot be forgiven?

LAVINIA. I expect the Emperor knows better. Anyhow, we forgivehim. 

THE CHRISTIANS. Amen!

CAESAR. Metellus: you see now the disadvantage of too muchseverity. These people have no hope; therefore they have nothingto restrain them from saying what they like to me. They arealmost as impertinent as the gladiators. Which is the Greeksorcerer?

ANDROCLES (humbly touching his forelock) Me, your Worship. 

CAESAR. My Worship! Good! A new title. Well, what miracles canyou perform?

ANDROCLES. I can cure warts by rubbing them with my tailor'schalk; and I can live with my wife without beating her. 

CAESAR. Is that all?

ANDROCLES. You don't know her, Caesar, or you wouldn't say that. 

CAESAR. Ah, well, my friend, we shall no doubt contrive a happyrelease for you. Which is Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. I am he. 

CAESAR. They tell me you can fight. 

FERROVIUS. It is easy to fight. I can die, Caesar. 

CAESAR. That is still easier, is it not?

FERROVIUS. Not to me, Caesar. Death comes hard to my flesh; andfighting comes very easily to my spirit (beating his breast andlamenting) O sinner that I am! (He throws himself down on thesteps, deeply discouraged). 

CAESAR. Metellus: I should like to have this man in the PretorianGuard. 

METELLUS. I should not, Caesar. He looks a spoilsport. There aremen in whose presence it is impossible to have any fun: men who area sort of walking conscience. He would make us all uncomfortable. 

CAESAR. For that reason, perhaps, it might be well to have him. An Emperor can hardly have too many consciences. (To Ferrovius)Listen, Ferrovius. (Ferrovius shakes his head and will not lookup). You and your friends shall not be outnumbered to-day in thearena. You shall have arms; and there will be no more than onegladiator to each Christian. If you come out of the arena alive, I will consider favorably any request of yours, and give you aplace in the Pretorian Guard. Even if the request be that noquestions be asked about your faith I shall perhaps not refuseit. 

FERROVIUS. I will not fight. I will die. Better stand with thearchangels than with the Pretorian Guard. 

CAESAR. I cannot believe that the archangels--whoever they maybe--would not prefer to be recruited from the Pretorian Guard. However, as you please. Come: let us see the show. 

As the Court ascends the steps, Secutor and the Retiarius returnfrom the arena through the passage; Secutor covered with dust andvery angry: Retiarius grinning. 

SECUTOR. Ha, the Emperor. Now we shall see. Caesar: I ask youwhether it is fair for the Retiarius, instead of making a fairthrow of his net at me, to swish it along the ground and throwthe dust in my eyes, and then catch me when I'm blinded. If thevestals had not turned up their thumbs I should have been a deadman. 

CAESAR (halting on the stair) There is nothing in the rulesagainst it. 

SECUTOR (indignantly) Caesar: is it a dirty trick or is it not?

CAESAR. It is a dusty one, my friend. (Obsequious laughter). Beon your guard next time. 

SECUTOR. Let HIM be on his guard. Next time I'll throw my swordat his heels and strangle him with his own net before he can hopoff. (To Retiarius) You see if I don't. (He goes out past thegladiators, sulky and furious). 

CAESAR (to the chuckling Retiarius). These tricks are not wise, my friend. The audience likes to see a dead man in all his beautyand splendor. If you smudge his face and spoil his armor theywill show their displeasure by not letting you kill him. And whenyour turn comes, they will remember it against you and turn theirthumbs down. 

THE RETIARIUS. Perhaps that is why I did it, Caesar. He bet meten sesterces that he would vanquish me. If I had had to killhim I should not have had the money. 

CAESAR (indulgent, laughing) You rogues: there is no end to yourtricks. I'll dismiss you all and have elephants to fight. Theyfight fairly. (He goes up to his box, and knocks at it. It isopened from within by the Captain, who stands as on parade to lethim pass). The Call Boy comes from the passage, followed bythree attendants carrying respectively a bundle of swords, somehelmets, and some breastplates and pieces of armor which theythrow down in a heap. 

THE CALL BOY. By your leave, Caesar. Number eleven! Gladiatorsand Christians!

Ferrovius springs up, ready for martyrdom. The other Christianstake the summons as best they can, some joyful and brave, somepatient and dignified, some tearful and helpless, some embracingone another with emotion. The Call Boy goes back into thepassage. 

CAESAR (turning at the door of the box) The hour has come, Ferrovius. I shall go into my box and see you killed, since youscorn the Pretorian Guard. (He goes into the box. The Captainshuts the door, remaining inside with the Emperor. Metellus andthe rest of the suite disperse to their seats. The Christians, led by Ferrovius, move towards the passage). 

LAVINIA (to Ferrovius) Farewell. 

THE EDITOR. Steady there. You Christians have got to fight. Here!arm yourselves. 

FERROVIUS (picking up a sword) I'll die sword in hand to showpeople that I could fight if it were my Master's will, and that Icould kill the man who kills me if I chose. 

THE EDITOR. Put on that armor. 

FERROVIUS. No armor. 

THE EDITOR (bullying him) Do what you're told. Put on that armor. 

FERROVIUS (gripping the sword and looking dangerous) I said, Noarmor. 

THE EDITOR. And what am I to say when I am accused of sending anaked man in to fight my men in armor?

FERROVIUS. Say your prayers, brother; and have no fear of theprinces of this world. 

THE EDITOR. Tsha! You obstinate fool! (He bites his lipsirresolutely, not knowing exactly what to do). 

ANDROCLES (to Ferrovius) Farewell, brother, till we meet in thesweet by-and-by. 

THE EDITOR (to Androcles) You are going too. Take a sword there;and put on any armor you can find to fit you. 

ANDROCLES. No, really: I can't fight: I never could. I can'tbring myself to dislike anyone enough. I'm to be thrown to thelions with the lady. 

THE EDITOR. Then get out of the way and hold your noise. (Androcles steps aside with cheerful docility). Now then! Are youall ready there? A trumpet is heard from the arena. 

FERROVIUS (starting convulsively) Heaven give me strength!

THE EDITOR. Aha! That frightens you, does it?

FERROVIUS. Man: there is no terror like the terror of that soundto me. When I hear a trumpet or a drum or the clash of steel orthe hum of the catapult as the great stone flies, fire runsthrough my veins: I feel my blood surge up hot behind my eyes: Imust charge: I must strike: I must conquer: Caesar himself willnot be safe in his imperial seat if once that spirit gets loosein me. Oh, brothers, pray! exhort me! remind me that if I raisemy sword my honor falls and my Master is crucified afresh. 

ANDROCLES. Just keep thinking how cruelly you might hurt the poorgladiators. 

FERROVIUS. It does not hurt a man to kill him. 

LAVINIA. Nothing but faith can save you. 

FERROVIUS. Faith! Which faith? There are two faiths. There is ourfaith. And there is the warrior's faith, the faith in fighting, the faith that sees God in the sword. How if that faith shouldoverwhelm me?

LAVINIA. You will find your real faith in the hour of trial. 

FERROVIUS. That is what I fear. I know that I am a fighter. Howcan I feel sure that I am a Christian?

ANDROCLES. Throw away the sword, brother. 

FERROVIUS. I cannot. It cleaves to my hand. I could as easilythrow a woman I loved from my arms. (Starting) Who spoke thatblasphemy? Not I. 

LAVINIA. I can't help you, friend. I can't tell you not to saveyour own life. Something wilful in me wants to see you fight yourway into heaven. 

FERROVIUS. Ha!

ANDROCLES. But if you are going to give up our faith, brother, why not do it without hurting anybody? Don't fight them. Burn theincense. 

FERROVIUS. Burn the incense! Never. 

LAVINIA. That is only pride, Ferrovius. 

FERROVIUS. ONLY pride! What is nobler than pride? (Consciencestricken) Oh, I'm steeped in sin. I'm proud of my pride. 

LAVINIA. They say we Christians are the proudest devils onearth--that only the weak are meek. Oh, I am worse than you. I oughtto send you to death; and I am tempting you. 

ANDROCLES. Brother, brother: let THEM rage and kill: let US bebrave and suffer. You must go as a lamb to the slaughter. 

FERROVIUS. Aye, aye: that is right. Not as a lamb is slain by thebutcher; but as a butcher might let himself be slain by a(looking at the Editor) by a silly ram whose head he could fetchoff in one twist. 

Before the Editor can retort, the Call Boy rushes up through thepassage; and the Captain comes from the Emperor's box anddescends the steps. 

THE CALL BOY. In with you: into the arena. The stage is waiting. 

THE CAPTAIN. The Emperor is waiting. (To the Editor) What are youdreaming of, man? Send your men in at once. 

THE EDITOR. Yes, Sir: it's these Christians hanging back. 

FERROVIUS (in a voice of thunder) Liar!

THE EDITOR (not heeding him) March. (The gladiators told off tofight with the Christians march down the passage) Follow upthere, you. 

THE CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN (as they part) Be steadfast, brother. Farewell. Hold up the faith, brother. Farewell. Go to glory, dearest. Farewell. Remember: we are praying for you. Farewell. Bestrong, brother. Farewell. Don't forget that the divine love andour love surround you. Farewell. Nothing can hurt you: rememberthat, brother. Farewell. Eternal glory, dearest. Farewell. 

THE EDITOR (out of patience) Shove them in, there. 

The remaining gladiators and the Call Boy make a movement towardsthem. 

FERROVIUS (interposing) Touch them, dogs; and we die here, andcheat the heathen of their spectacle. (To his fellow Christians)Brothers: the great moment has come. That passage is your hill toCalvary. Mount it bravely, but meekly; and remember! not a wordof reproach, not a blow nor a struggle. Go. (They go out throughthe passage. He turns to Lavinia) Farewell. 

LAVINIA. You forget: I must follow before you are cold. 

FERROVIUS. It is true. Do not envy me because I pass before youto glory. (He goes through the passage). 

THE EDITOR (to the Call Boy) Sickening work, this. Why can't theyall be thrown to the lions? It's not a man's job. (He throwshimself moodily into his chair). 

The remaining gladiators go back to their former placesindifferently. The Call Boy shrugs his shoulders and squats downat the entrance to the passage, near the Editor. 

Lavinia and the Christian women sit down again, wrung with grief, some weeping silently, some praying, some calm and steadfast. Androcles sits down at Lavinia's feet. The Captain stands on thestairs, watching her curiously. 

ANDROCLES. I'm glad I haven't to fight. That would really be anawful martyrdom. I AM lucky. 

LAVINIA (looking at him with a pang of remorse). Androcles: burnthe incense: you'll be forgiven. Let my death atone for both. Ifeel as if I were killing you. 

ANDROCLES. Don't think of me, sister. Think of yourself. Thatwill keep your heart up. 

The Captain laughs sardonically. 

LAVINIA (startled: she had forgotten his presence) Are you there, handsome Captain? Have you come to see me die?

THE CAPTAIN (coming to her side) I am on duty with the Emperor, Lavinia. 

LAVINIA. Is it part of your duty to laugh at us?

THE CAPTAIN. No: that is part of my private pleasure. Your friendhere is a humorist. I laughed at his telling you to think ofyourself to keep up your heart. I say, think of yourself and burnthe incense. 

LAVINIA. He is not a humorist: he was right. You ought to knowthat, Captain: you have been face to face with death. 

THE CAPTAIN. Not with certain death, Lavinia. Only death inbattle, which spares more men than death in bed. What you arefacing is certain death. You have nothing left now but your faithin this craze of yours: this Christianity. Are your Christianfairy stories any truer than our stories about Jupiter and Diana, in which, I may tell you, I believe no more than the Emperordoes, or any educated man in Rome?

LAVINIA. Captain: all that seems nothing to me now. I'll not saythat death is a terrible thing; but I will say that it is so reala thing that when it comes close, all the imaginary things--allthe stories, as you call them--fade into mere dreams beside thatinexorable reality. I know now that I am not dying for stories ordreams. Did you hear of the dreadful thing that happened herewhile we were waiting?

THE CAPTAIN. I heard that one of your fellows bolted, and ranright into the jaws of the lion. I laughed. I still laugh. 

LAVINIA. Then you don't understand what that meant?

THE CAPTAIN. It meant that the lion had a cur for his breakfast. 

LAVINIA. It meant more than that, Captain. It meant that a mancannot die for a story and a dream. None of us believed thestories and the dreams more devoutly than poor Spintho; but hecould not face the great reality. What he would have called myfaith has been oozing away minute by minute whilst I've beensitting here, with death coming nearer and nearer, with realitybecoming realler and realler, with stories and dreams fading awayinto nothing. 

THE CAPTAIN. Are you then going to die for nothing?

LAVINIA. Yes: that is the wonderful thing. It is since all thestories and dreams have gone that I have now no doubt at all thatI must die for something greater than dreams or stories. 

THE CAPTAIN. But for what?

LAVINIA. I don't know. If it were for anything small enough toknow, it would be too small to die for. I think I'm going to diefor God. Nothing else is real enough to die for. 

THE CAPTAIN. What is God?

LAVINIA. When we know that, Captain, we shall be gods ourselves. 

THE CAPTAIN. Lavinia; come down to earth. Burn the incense andmarry me. 

LAVINIA. Handsome Captain: would you marry me if I hauled downthe flag in the day of battle and burnt the incense? Sons takeafter their mothers, you know. Do you want your son to be acoward?

THE CAPTAIN (strongly moved). By great Diana, I think I wouldstrangle you if you gave in now. 

LAVINIA (putting her hand on the head of Androcles) The hand ofGod is on us three, Captain. 

THE CAPTAIN. What nonsense it all is! And what a monstrous thingthat you should die for such nonsense, and that I should look onhelplessly when my whole soul cries out against it! Die then ifyou must; but at least I can cut the Emperor's throat and then myown when I see your blood. 

The Emperor throws open the door of his box angrily, and appearsin wrath on the threshold. The Editor, the Call Boy, and thegladiators spring to their feet. 

THE EMPEROR. The Christians will not fight; and your curs cannotget their blood up to attack them. It's all that fellow with theblazing eyes. Send for the whip. (The Call Boy rushes out on theeast side for the whip). If that will not move them, bring thehot irons. The man is like a mountain. (He returns angrily intothe box and slams the door). 

The Call Boy returns with a man in a hideous Etruscan mask, carrying a whip. They both rush down the passage into the arena. 

LAVINIA (rising) Oh, that is unworthy. Can they not kill himwithout dishonoring him?

ANDROCLES (scrambling to his feet and running into the middle ofthe space between the staircases) It's dreadful. Now I want tofight. I can't bear the sight of a whip. The only time I ever hita man was when he lashed an old horse with a whip. It wasterrible: I danced on his face when he was on the ground. Hemustn't strike Ferrovius: I'll go into the arena and kill himfirst. (He makes a wild dash into the passage. As he does so agreat clamor is heard from the arena, ending in wild applause. The gladiators listen and look inquiringly at one another). 

THE EDITOR. What's up now?

LAVINIA (to the Captain) What has happened, do you think?

THE CAPTAIN. What CAN happen? They are killing them, I suppose. 

ANDROCLES (running in through the passage, screaming with horrorand hiding his eyes)!!!

LAVINIA. Androcles, Androcles: what's the matter?

ANDROCLES. Oh, don't ask me, don't ask me. Something toodreadful. Oh! (He crouches by her and hides his face in her robe, sobbing). 

THE CALL Boy (rushing through from the passage as before) Ropesand hooks there! Ropes and hooks. 

THE EDITOR. Well, need you excite yourself about it? (Anotherburst of applause). 

Two slaves in Etruscan masks, with ropes and drag hooks, hurryin. 

ONE OF THE SLAVES. How many dead?

THE CALL Boy. Six. (The slave blows a whistle twice; and fourmore masked slaves rush through into the arena with the sameapparatus) And the basket. Bring the baskets. (The slave whistlesthree times, and runs through the passage with his companion). 

THE CAPTAIN. Who are the baskets for?

THE CALL Boy. For the whip. He's in pieces. They're all inpieces, more or less. (Lavinia hides her face). 

(Two more masked slaves come in with a basket and follow theothers into the arena, as the Call Boy turns to the gladiatorsand exclaims, exhausted) Boys, he's killed the lot. 

THE EMPEROR (again bursting from his box, this time in an ecstasyof delight) Where is he? Magnificent! He shall have a laurelcrown. 

Ferrovius, madly waving his bloodstained sword, rushes throughthe passage in despair, followed by his co-religionists, and bythe menagerie keeper, who goes to the gladiators. The gladiatorsdraw their swords nervously. 

FERROVIUs. Lost! lost forever! I have betrayed my Master. Cut offthis right hand: it has offended. Ye have swords, my brethren:strike. 

LAVINIA. No, no. What have you done, Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. I know not; but there was blood behind my eyes; andthere's blood on my sword. What does that mean?

THE EMPEROR (enthusiastically, on the landing outside his box)What does it mean? It means that you are the greatest man inRome. It means that you shall have a laurel crown of gold. Superbfighter, I could almost yield you my throne. It is a record formy reign: I shall live in history. Once, in Domitian's time, aGaul slew three men in the arena and gained his freedom. But whenbefore has one naked man slain six armed men of the bravest andbest? The persecution shall cease: if Christians can fight likethis, I shall have none but Christians to fight for me. (To theGladiators) You are ordered to become Christians, you there: doyou hear?

RETIARIUS. It is all one to us, Caesar. Had I been there with mynet, the story would have been different. 

THE CAPTAIN (suddenly seizing Lavinia by the wrist and draggingher up the steps to the Emperor) Caesar this woman is the sisterof Ferrovius. If she is thrown to the lions he will fret. He willlose weight; get out of condition. 

THE EMPEROR. The lions? Nonsense! (To Lavinia) Madam: I am proudto have the honor of making your acquaintance. Your brother isthe glory of Rome. 

LAVINIA. But my friends here. Must they die?

THE EMPEROR. Die! Certainly not. There has never been theslightest idea of harming them. Ladies and gentlemen: you are allfree. Pray go into the front of the house and enjoy the spectacleto which your brother has so splendidly contributed. Captain:oblige me by conducting them to the seats reserved for mypersonal friends. 

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. Caesar: I must have one Christian for thelion. The people have been promised it; and they will tear thedecorations to bits if they are disappointed. 

THE EMPEROR. True, true: we must have somebody for the new lion. 

FERROVIUS. Throw me to him. Let the apostate perish. 

THE EMPEROR. No, no: you would tear him in pieces, my friend; andwe cannot afford to throw away lions as if they were mere slaves. But we must have somebody. This is really extremely awkward. 

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. Why not that little Greek chap? He's not aChristian: he's a sorcerer. 

THE EMPEROR. The very thing: he will do very well. 

THE CALL Boy (issuing from the passage) Number twelve. TheChristian for the new lion. 

ANDROCLES (rising, and pulling himself sadly together) Well, itwas to be, after all. 

LAVINIA. I'll go in his place, Caesar. Ask the Captain whetherthey do not like best to see a woman torn to pieces. He told meso yesterday. 

THE EMPEROR. There is something in that: there is certainlysomething in that--if only I could feel sure that your brotherwould not fret. 

ANDROCLES. No: I should never have another happy hour. No: on thefaith of a Christian and the honor of a tailor, I accept the lotthat has fallen on me. If my wife turns up, give her my love andsay that my wish was that she should be happy with her next, poorfellow! Caesar: go to your box and see how a tailor can die. Makeway for number twelve there. (He marches out along the passage). 

The vast audience in the amphitheatre now sees the Emperorre-enter his box and take his place as Androcles, desperatelyfrightened, but still marching with piteous devotion, emergesfrom the other end of the passage, and finds himself at the focusof thousands of eager eyes. The lion's cage, with a heavyportcullis grating, is on his left. The Emperor gives a signal. Agong sounds. Androcles shivers at the sound; then falls on hisknees and prays. 

The grating rises with a clash. The lion bounds into the arena. He rushes round frisking in his freedom. He sees Androcles. Hestops; rises stiffly by straightening his legs; stretches out hisnose forward and his tail in a horizontal line behind, like apointer, and utters an appalling roar. Androcles crouches andhides his face in his hands. The lion gathers himself for aspring, swishing his tail to and fro through the dust in anecstasy of anticipation. Androcles throws up his hands insupplication to heaven. The lion checks at the sight ofAndrocles's face. He then steals towards him; smells him; archeshis back; purrs like a motor car; finally rubs himself againstAndrocles, knocking him over. Androcles, supporting himself onhis wrist, looks affrightedly at the lion. The lion limps onthree paws, holding up the other as if it was wounded. A flash ofrecognition lights up the face of Androcles. He flaps his hand asif it had a thorn in it, and pretends to pull the thorn out andto hurt himself. The lion nods repeatedly. Androcles holds outhis hands to the lion, who gives him both paws, which he shakeswith enthusiasm. They embrace rapturously, finally waltz roundthe arena amid a sudden burst of deafening applause, and outthrough the passage, the Emperor watching them in breathlessastonishment until they disappear, when he rushes from his boxand descends the steps in frantic excitement. 

THE EMPEROR. My friends, an incredible! an amazing thing! hashappened. I can no longer doubt the truth of Christianity. (TheChristians press to him joyfully) This Christian sorcerer--(witha yell, he breaks off as he sees Androcles and the lion emergefrom the passage, waltzing. He bolts wildly up the steps into hisbox, and slams the door. All, Christians and gladiators' alike, fly for their lives, the gladiators bolting into the arena, theothers in all directions. The place is emptied with magicalsuddenness). 

ANDROCLES (naively) Now I wonder why they all run away from uslike that. (The lion combining a series of yawns, purrs, androars, achieves something very like a laugh). 

THE EMPEROR (standing on a chair inside his box and looking overthe wall) Sorcerer: I command you to put that lion to deathinstantly. It is guilty of high treason. Your conduct is mostdisgra-- (the lion charges at him up the stairs) help! (Hedisappears. The lion rears against the box; looks over thepartition at him, and roars. The Emperor darts out through thedoor and down to Androcles, pursued by the lion. )

ANDROCLES. Don't run away, sir: he can't help springing if yourun. (He seizes the Emperor and gets between him and the lion, who stops at once). Don't be afraid of him. 

THE EMPEROR. I am NOT afraid of him. (The lion crouches, growling. The Emperor clutches Androcles) Keep between us. 

ANDROCLES. Never be afraid of animals, your Worship: that's thegreat secret. He'll be as gentle as a lamb when he knows that youare his friend. Stand quite still; and smile; and let him smellyou all over just to reassure him; for, you see, he's afraid ofyou; and he must examine you thoroughly before he gives you hisconfidence. (To the lion) Come now, Tommy; and speak nicely tothe Emperor, the great, good Emperor who has power to have allour heads cut off if we don't behave very, VERY respectfully tohim. 

The lion utters a fearful roar. The Emperor dashes madly up thesteps, across the landing, and down again on the other side, withthe lion in hot pursuit. Androcles rushes after the lion;overtakes him as he is descending; and throws himself on hisback, trying to use his toes as a brake. Before he can stop himthe lion gets hold of the trailing end of the Emperor's robe. 

ANDROCLES. Oh bad wicked Tommy, to chase the Emperor like that!Let go the Emperor's robe at once, sir: where's your manners?(The lion growls and worries the robe). Don't pull it away fromhim, your worship. He's only playing. Now I shall be really angrywith you, Tommy, if you don't let go. (The lion growls again)I'll tell you what it is, sir: he thinks you and I are notfriends. 

THE EMPEROR (trying to undo the clasp of his brooch) Friends! Youinfernal scoundrel (the lion growls) don't let him go. Curse thisbrooch! I can't get it loose. 

ANDROCLES. We mustn't let him lash himself into a rage. You mustshow him that you are my particular friend--if you will have thecondescension. (He seizes the Emperor's hands, and shakes themcordially), Look, Tommy: the nice Emperor is the dearest friendAndy Wandy has in the whole world: he loves him like a brother. 

THE EMPEROR. You little brute, you damned filthy little dog of aGreek tailor: I'll have you burnt alive for daring to touch thedivine person of the Emperor. (The lion roars). 

ANDROCLES. Oh don't talk like that, sir. He understands everyword you say: all animals do: they take it from the tone of yourvoice. (The lion growls and lashes his tail). I think he's goingto spring at your worship. If you wouldn't mind saying somethingaffectionate. (The lion roars). 

THE EMPEROR (shaking Androcles' hands frantically) My dearest Mr. Androcles, my sweetest friend, my long lost brother, come to myarms. (He embraces Androcles). Oh, what an abominable smell ofgarlic!

The lion lets go the robe and rolls over on his back, claspinghis forepaws over one another coquettishly above his nose. 

ANDROCLES. There! You see, your worship, a child might play withhim now. See! (He tickles the lion's belly. The lion wrigglesecstatically). Come and pet him. 

THE EMPEROR. I must conquer these unkingly terrors. Mind youdon't go away from him, though. (He pats the lion's chest). 

ANDROCLES. Oh, sir, how few men would have the courage to dothat--

THE EMPEROR. Yes: it takes a bit of nerve. Let us invite theCourt in and frighten them. Is he safe, do you think?

ANDROCLES. Quite safe now, sir. 

THE EMPEROR (majestically) What ho, there! All who are withinhearing, return without fear. Caesar has tamed the lion. (All thefugitives steal cautiously in. The menagerie keeper comes fromthe passage with other keepers armed with iron bars andtridents). Take those things away. I have subdued the beast. (Heplaces his foot on it). 

FERROVIUS (timidly approaching the Emperor and looking down withawe on the lion) It is strange that I, who fear no man, shouldfear a lion. 

THE CAPTAIN. Every man fears something, Ferrovius. 

THE EMPEROR. How about the Pretorian Guard now?

FERROVIUS. In my youth I worshipped Mars, the God of War. Iturned from him to serve the Christian god; but today theChristian god forsook me; and Mars overcame me and took back hisown. The Christian god is not yet. He will come when Mars and Iare dust; but meanwhile I must serve the gods that are, not theGod that will be. Until then I accept service in the Guard, Caesar. 

THE EMPEROR. Very wisely said. All really sensible men agree thatthe prudent course is to be neither bigoted in our attachment tothe old nor rash and unpractical in keeping an open mind for thenew, but to make the best of both dispensations. 

THE CAPTAIN. What do you say, Lavinia? Will you too be prudent?

LAVINIA (on the stair) No: I'll strive for the coming of the Godwho is not yet. 

THE CAPTAIN. May I come and argue with you occasionally?

LAVINIA. Yes, handsome Captain: you may. (He kisses her hands). 

THE EMPEROR. And now, my friends, though I do not, as you see, fear this lion, yet the strain of his presence is considerable;for none of us can feel quite sure what he will do next. 

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. Caesar: give us this Greek sorcerer to be aslave in the menagerie. He has a way with the beasts. 

ANDROCLES (distressed). Not if they are in cages. They should notbe kept in cages. They must all be let out. 

THE EMPEROR. I give this sorcerer to be a slave to the first manwho lays hands on him. (The menagerie keepers and the gladiatorsrush for Androcles. The lion starts up and faces them. They surgeback). You see how magnanimous we Romans are, Androcles. Wesuffer you to go in peace. 

ANDROCLES. I thank your worship. I thank you all, ladies andgentlemen. Come, Tommy. Whilst we stand together, no cage foryou: no slavery for me. (He goes out with the lion, everybodycrowding away to give him as wide a berth as possible). 

In this play I have represented one of the Roman persecutions ofthe early Christians, not as the conflict of a false theologywith a true, but as what all such persecutions essentially are:an attempt to suppress a propaganda that seemed to threaten theinterests involved in the established law and order, organizedand maintained in the name of religion and justice by politicianswho are pure opportunist Have-and-Holders. People who are shownby their inner light the possibility of a better world based onthe demand of the spirit for a nobler and more abundant life, notfor themselves at the expense of others, but for everybody, arenaturally dreaded and therefore hated by the Have-and-Holders, who keep always in reserve two sure weapons against them. Thefirst is a persecution effected by the provocation, organization, and arming of that herd instinct which makes men abhor alldepartures from custom, and, by the most cruel punishments andthe wildest calumnies, force eccentric people to behave andprofess exactly as other people do. The second is by leading theherd to war, which immediately and infallibly makes them forgeteverything, even their most cherished and hardwon publicliberties and private interests, in the irresistible surge oftheir pugnacity and the tense pre-occupation of their terror. 

There is no reason to believe that there was anything more in theRoman persecutions than this. The attitude of the Roman Emperorand the officers of his staff towards the opinions at issue weremuch the same as those of a modern British Home Secretary towardsmembers of the lower middle classes when some pious policemancharges them with Bad Taste, technically called blasphemy: BadTaste being a violation of Good Taste, which in such matterspractically means Hypocrisy. The Home Secretary and the judgeswho try the case are usually far more sceptical and blasphemousthan the poor men whom they persecute; and their professions ofhorror at the blunt utterance of their own opinions are revoltingto those behind the scenes who have any genuine religioussensibility; but the thing is done because the governing classes, provided only the law against blasphemy is not applied tothemselves, strongly approve of such persecution because itenables them to represent their own privileges as part of thereligion of the country. 

Therefore my martyrs are the martyrs of all time, and mypersecutors the persecutors of all time. My Emperor, who has nosense of the value of common people's lives, and amuses himselfwith killing as carelessly as with sparing, is the sort ofmonster you can make of any silly-clever gentleman by idolizinghim. We are still so easily imposed on by such idols that one ofthe leading pastors of the Free Churches in London denounced myplay on the ground that my persecuting Emperor is a very finefellow, and the persecuted Christians ridiculous. From which Iconclude that a popular pulpit may be as perilous to a man's soulas an imperial throne. 

All my articulate Christians, the reader will notice, havedifferent enthusiasms, which they accept as the same religiononly because it involves them in a common opposition to theofficial religion and consequently in a common doom. Androcles isa humanitarian naturalist, whose views surprise everybody. Lavinia, a clever and fearless freethinker, shocks the PaulineFerrovius, who is comparatively stupid and conscience ridden. Spintho, the blackguardly debauchee, is presented as one of thetypical Christians of that period on the authority of St. Augustine, who seems to have come to the conclusion at one periodof his development that most Christians were what we call wronguns. No doubt he was to some extent right: I have had occasionoften to point out that revolutionary movements attract those whoare not good enough for established institutions as well as thosewho are too good for them. 

But the most striking aspect of the play at this moment is theterrible topicality given it by the war. We were at peace when Ipointed out, by the mouth of Ferrovius, the path of an honest manwho finds out, when the trumpet sounds, that he cannot followJesus. Many years earlier, in The Devil's Disciple, I touched thesame theme even more definitely, and showed the minister throwingoff his black coat for ever when he discovered, amid the thunderof the captains and the shouting, that he was a born fighter. Great numbers of our clergy have found themselves of late in theposition of Ferrovius and Anthony Anderson. They have discoveredthat they hate not only their enemies but everyone who does notshare their hatred, and that they want to fight and to forceother people to fight. They have turned their churches intorecruiting stations and their vestries into munition workshops. But it has never occurred to them to take off their black coatsand say quite simply, "I find in the hour of trial that theSermon on the Mount is tosh, and that I am not a Christian. Iapologize for all the unpatriotic nonsense I have been preachingall these years. Have the goodness to give me a revolver and acommission in a regiment which has for its chaplain a priest ofthe god Mars: my God. " Not a bit of it. They have stuck to theirlivings and served Mars in the name of Christ, to the scandal ofall religious mankind. When the Archbishop of York behaved like agentleman and the Head Master of Eton preached a Christiansermon, and were reviled by the rabble, the Martian parsonsencouraged the rabble. For this they made no apologies orexcuses, good or bad. They simple indulged their passions, justas they had always indulged their class prejudices and commercialinterests, without troubling themselves for a moment as towhether they were Christians or not. They did not protest evenwhen a body calling itself the Anti-German League (not havingnoticed, apparently, that it had been anticipated by the BritishEmpire, the French Republic, and the Kingdoms of Italy, Japan, and Serbia) actually succeeded in closing a church at Forest Hillin which God was worshipped in the German language. One wouldhave supposed that this grotesque outrage on the commonestdecencies of religion would have provoked a remonstrance fromeven the worldliest bench of bishops. But no: apparently itseemed to the bishops as natural that the House of God should belooted when He allowed German to be spoken in it as that abaker's shop with a German name over the door should be pillaged. Their verdict was, in effect, "Serve God right, for creating theGermans!" The incident would have been impossible in a countrywhere the Church was as powerful as the Church of England, had ithad at the same time a spark of catholic as distinguished fromtribal religion in it. As it is, the thing occurred; and as faras I have observed, the only people who gasped were theFreethinkers. Thus we see that even among men who make aprofession of religion the great majority are as Martian as themajority of their congregations. The average clergyman is anofficial who makes his living by christening babies, marryingadults, conducting a ritual, and making the best he can (when hehas any conscience about it) of a certain routine of schoolsuperintendence, district visiting, and organization ofalmsgiving, which does not necessarily touch Christianity at anypoint except the point of the tongue. The exceptional orreligious clergyman may be an ardent Pauline salvationist, inwhich case his more cultivated parishioners dislike him, and saythat he ought to have joined the Methodists. Or he may be anartist expressing religious emotion without intellectualdefinition by means of poetry, music, vestments and architecture, also producing religious ecstacy by physical expedients, such asfasts and vigils, in which case he is denounced as a Ritualist. Or he may be either a Unitarian Deist like Voltaire or Tom Paine, or the more modern sort of Anglican Theosophist to whom the HolyGhost is the Elan Vital of Bergson, and the Father and Son are anexpression of the fact that our functions and aspects aremanifold, and that we are all sons and all either potential oractual parents, in which case he is strongly suspected by thestraiter Salvationists of being little better than an Atheist. All these varieties, you see, excite remark. They may be verypopular with their congregations; but they are regarded by theaverage man as the freaks of the Church. The Church, like thesociety of which it is an organ, is balanced and steadied by thegreat central Philistine mass above whom theology looms as ahighly spoken of and doubtless most important thing, like GreekTragedy, or classical music, or the higher mathematics, but whoare very glad when church is over and they can go home to lunchor dinner, having in fact, for all practical purposes, noreasoned convictions at all, and being equally ready to persecutea poor Freethinker for saying that St. James was not infallible, and to send one of the Peculiar People to prison for being sovery peculiar as to take St. James seriously. 

In short, a Christian martyr was thrown to the lions not becausehe was a Christian, but because he was a crank: that is, anunusual sort of person. And multitudes of people, quite ascivilized and amiable as we, crowded to see the lions eat himjust as they now crowd the lion-house in the Zoo at feeding-time, not because they really cared two-pence about Diana or Christ, orcould have given you any intelligent or correct account of thethings Diana and Christ stood against one another for, but simplybecause they wanted to see a curious and exciting spectacle. You, dear reader, have probably run to see a fire; and if somebodycame in now and told you that a lion was chasing a man down thestreet you would rush to the window. And if anyone were to saythat you were as cruel as the people who let the lion loose onthe man, you would be justly indignant. Now that we may no longersee a man hanged, we assemble outside the jail to see the blackflag run up. That is our duller method of enjoying ourselves inthe old Roman spirit. And if the Government decided to throwpersons of unpopular or eccentric views to the lions in theAlbert Hall or the Earl's Court stadium tomorrow, can you doubtthat all the seats would be crammed, mostly by people who couldnot give you the most superficial account of the views in question. Much less unlikely things have happened. It is true that if such arevival does take place soon, the martyrs will not be members ofheretical religious sects: they will be Peculiars, Anti-Vivisectionists, Flat-Earth men, scoffers at the laboratories, or infidels who refuseto kneel down when a procession of doctors goes by. But the lionswill hurt them just as much, and the spectators will enjoy themselvesjust as much, as the Roman lions and spectators used to do. 

It was currently reported in the Berlin newspapers that whenAndrocles was first performed in Berlin, the Crown Prince roseand left the house, unable to endure the (I hope) very clear andfair exposition of autocratic Imperialism given by the Romancaptain to his Christian prisoners. No English Imperialist wasintelligent and earnest enough to do the same in London. If thereport is correct, I confirm the logic of the Crown Prince, andam glad to find myself so well understood. But I can assure himthat the Empire which served for my model when I wrote Androcleswas, as he is now finding to his cost, much nearer my home thanthe German one.