[Illustration: "If a feller wants to make a success in business heshould be a little up to date, ain't it?"]

ABE AND MAWRUSS

BEING FURTHER ADVENTURES OF POTASH AND PERLMUTTER

BY MONTAGUE GLASS

ILLUSTRATED BY J. J. GOULD AND MARTIN JUSTICE

GARDEN CITY NEW YORK DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY 1911

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, INCLUDING THAT OF TRANSLATIONINTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, INCLUDING THE SCANDINAVIAN

COPYRIGHT, 1911, BY DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANYCOPYRIGHT, 1909, BY FRANK A. MUNSEY COMPANYCOPYRIGHT, 1910, 1911, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY

CHAPTER PAGE

 I. SYMPATHY 3 II. THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS 33 III. DEAD MEN'S SHOES 66 IV. THE RAINCOAT KING 116 V. A RETURN TO ARCADY 149 VI. A PRESENT FOR MR. GEIGERMANN 191 VII. BROTHERS ALL 236VIII. R. S. V. P. 281 IX. FIRING MISS COHEN 294 X. AUX ITALIENS 310 XI. MAN PROPOSES 342

ILLUSTRATIONS

"If a feller wants to make a success in business heshould be a little up to date, ain't it?" Frontispiece

 FACING PAGE

"If he would stole it he would of gave it to me, lady" 16

"Do you know anything about them old violins?" 204

"Mr. Potash, " the visitor began, "every merchant is at timesconfronted with a situation which demands a few appropriateremarks" 254

CHAPTER ONE

SYMPATHY

"I come down on the subway with Max Linkheimer this morning, Mawruss, "Abe Potash said to his partner, Morris Perlmutter, as they sat in theshowroom one hot July morning. "That feller is a regular philantropist. "

"I bet yer, " Morris replied. "He would talk a tin ear on to you if youonly give him a chance. Leon Sammet too, Abe, I assure you. I seen Leonin the Harlem Winter Garden last night, and the goods he sold while hewas talking to me and Barney Gans, Abe, in two seasons we don't do sucha business. Yes, Abe; Leon Sammet is just such another one of themfellers like Max Linkheimer. "

"What d'ye mean--'such another one of them fellers like MaxLinkheimer'?" Abe repeated. "Between Leon Sammet and Max Linkheimer isthe difference like day from night. Max Linkheimer is one fine man, Mawruss. "

Morris shrugged. "I didn't say he wasn't, " he rejoined. "All I sayswas that Leon Sammet is another one of them philantro fellers too, Abe. Talks you deef, dumb and blind. "

Abe rose to his feet and stared indignantly at his partner. 

"I don't know what comes over you lately, Mawruss, " he cried. "Seeminglyyou don't understand the English language at all. A philantropist ain'ta _schmooser_, Mawruss. "

"I know he ain't, Abe; but just the same Max Linkheimer is a fellerwhich he got a whole lot too much to say for himself. Furthermore, Abe, my Minnie says Mrs. Linkheimer tells her Max ain't home a single nightneither, and when a man neglects his family like that, Abe, I ain't gotno use for him at all. "

"That's because he belongs to eight lodges, " Abe replied. "There ain't asingle Sunday neither which he ain't busy with funerals too, Mawruss. "

"Is that so?" Morris retorted. "Well, if I would be in the buttonbusiness, Abe, I would be a philantropist too. A feller's got to belongto eight lodges if he's in the button business, Abe, because otherwisehe couldn't sell no goods at all. "

Abe continued:

"Linkheimer ain't looking to sell goods to lodge brothers, Mawruss. He's too old established a business for that. He's got a heart too, Mawruss. Why the money that feller spends on charity, Mawruss, youwouldn't believe at all. He told me so himself. Always he tries to dogood. Only this morning, Mawruss, he was telling me about a young fellerby the name Schenkmann which he is trying to find a position for asstock clerk. Nobody would take the young feller on, Mawruss, because hegot into trouble with a house in Dallas, Texas, which they claim theyoung feller stole from them a hundred dollars, Mawruss. But Linkheimersays how if you would give a dawg a bad name, Mawruss, you might just aswell give him to the dawgcatcher. So Linkheimer is willing to take achance on this here feller Schenkmann, and he gives him a job in his ownplace. "

"Dawgs I don't know nothing about at all, Abe, " Morris commented. "But Iwould be willing to give the young feller a show too, Abe, if I wouldonly got plain bone and metal buttons in stock. But when you carry acouple hundred pieces silk goods, Abe, like we do, then that's somethingelse again. "

"Well, Mawruss, _Gott sei dank_ we don't got to get a new shippingclerk. Jake has been with us five years now, Mawruss, and so far what Icould see he ain't got ambition enough to ask for a raise even, letalone look for a better job. "

"You shouldn't congradulate yourself too quick, Abe, " Morris replied. "Ambition he's got it plenty, but he ain't got the nerve. We reallyought to give the feller a raise, Abe. I mean it. Every time I go nearhim at all he gives me a look, and the first thing you know, Abe, hewould be leaving us. "

"Looks we could stand it, Mawruss; but if we would start in giving him araise there would be no end to it at all. _Lass's bleiben. _ If thefeller wants a raise, Mawruss, he should ask for it. "

Barely two weeks after the conversation above set forth, however, Jakeentered the firm's private office and tendered his resignation. 

"Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "I'm going to leave. "

"Going to leave?" Morris cried. "What d'ye mean--going to leave?"

"Going to leave?" Abe repeated crescendo. "An idea! You shouldpositively do nothing of the kind. "

"It wouldn't be no more than you deserve, Jake, if we would fire youright out of the store, " Morris added. "You work for us here five yearsand then you come to us and say you are going to leave. Did you everhear of such a thing? If you want it a couple dollars more a week, wewould give it to you and _fartig_. But if you get fresh and come to usand tell us you are going to leave, y'understand, then that's somethingelse again. "

"Moost I work for you if I don't want to?" Jake asked. 

"'S enough, Jake, " Abe said. "We heard enough from you already. "

"All right, Mr. Potash, " he replied. "But just the same I am tellingyou, Mr. Potash, you should look for a new shipping clerk, as I boughtit a candy, cigar and stationery store on Lenox Avenue, and I am goingto quit Saturday sure. "

"Well, Abe, what did I told you?" Morris said bitterly, after Jake hadleft the office. "For the sake of a couple of dollars a week, Abe, weare losing a good shipping clerk. "

Abe covered his embarrassment with a mirthless laugh. 

"Good shipping clerks you could get any day in the week, Mawruss, " hesaid. "We ain't going to go out of business exactly, y'understand, justbecause Jake is leaving us. I bet yer if we would advertise in to-morrowmorning's paper we would get a dozen good shipping clerks. "

"Go ahead, advertise, " Morris grunted. "This is your idee Jake leavesus, Abe, and now you should find somebody to take his place. I'm sickand tired making changes in the store. "

"Always kicking, Mawruss, always kicking!" Abe retorted. "By Saturday Ibet yer we would get a hundred good shipping clerks already. "

But Saturday came and went, and although in the meantime old and youngshipping clerks of every degree of uncleanliness passed in review beforeAbe and Morris, none of them proved acceptable. 

"All right, Abe, " Morris said on the Monday morning after Jake had gone, "you done enough about this here shipping clerk business. Give me ashow. I ain't got such liberal idees about shipping clerks as you got, Abe, but all the same, Abe, I think I could go at this business with alittle system, y'understand. "

"You shouldn't trouble yourself, Mawruss, " Abe replied, with an airywave of his hand. "I hired one already. "

"You hired one already, Abe!" Morris repeated. "Well, ain't I gotsomething to say about it too?"

"Again kicking, Mawruss?" Abe exclaimed. "You yourself told me I shouldfind a shipping clerk, and so I done so. "

"Well, " Morris cried, "ain't I even entitled to know the feller's nameat all?"

"Sure you are entitled to know his name, " Abe answered. "He's a youngfeller by the name of Schenkmann. "

"Schenkmann, " Morris said slowly. "Schenkmann? Where did I--you meanthat feller by the name Schenkmann which he works by Max Linkheimer?"

Abe nodded. 

"What's the matter with you, Abe?" Morris cried. "Are you crazy orwhat?"

"What do you mean am I crazy?" Abe said. "We carry burglary insurance, ain't it? And besides he ain't, Mawruss, Max Linkheimer says, missed somuch as a button since the feller worked for him. "

"A button, " Morris shouted; "let me tell you something, Abe. MaxLinkheimer could miss a thousand buttons, and what is it? But with us, Abe, one piece of silk goods is more as a hundred dollars. "

"'S all right, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted. "Max Linkheimer says weshouldn't be afraid. He says he trusts the young feller in the officewith hundreds of dollars laying in the safe, and he ain't touched a centso far. Furthermore, the young feller's got a wife and baby, Mawruss. "

"Well I got a wife and baby too, Abe. "

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, and so you ought to got a little sympathy forthe feller. "

Morris laughed raucously. 

"Sure, I know, Abe, " he replied. "A good way to lose money in business, Abe, is to got sympathy for somebody. You sell a feller goods, Abe, because he's a new beginner and you got sympathy for him, Abe, and thefeller busts up on you. You accommodate a concern with five hundreddollars--a check against their check dated two weeks ahead, Abe--becausetheir collections is slow and you got sympathy for them, and when thetwo weeks goes by, Abe, the check is N. G. You give a feller out inKansas City two months an extension because he done a bad springbusiness, and you got sympathy for him, and the first thing you know, Abe, a jobber out in Omaha gets a judgment against him and closes himup. And that's the way it goes. If we would hire this young fellerbecause we got sympathy for him, Abe, the least that happens us is thathe gets away with a couple hundred dollars' worth of piece goods. "

"Max Linkheimer says positively nothing of the kind, " Abe insisted. "Maxsays the feller has turned around a new leaf, and he would trust himlike a brother. "

"Like a brother-in-law, you mean, Abe, " Morris jeered. "That fellerLinkheimer never trusted nobody for nothing, Abe. Always by the first ofthe month comes a statement, and if he don't get a check by the fifth, Abe, he sends another with 'past due' stamped on to it. "

"So much the better, Mawruss. If Max Linkheimer don't trust nobody, Mawruss, and he lets this young feller work in his store, Mawruss, thenthe feller must be O. K. Ain't it?"

Morris rose wearily to his feet. 

"All right, Abe, " he said. "If Linkheimer is so anxious to get rid ofthis feller, let him give us a recommendation in writing, y'understand, and I am satisfied we should give this here young Schenkmann a trial. Hecould only get into us oncet, Abe, so go right over there and seeLinkheimer, and if in writing he would give us a guaranty the feller ishonest, go ahead and hire him. "

"Right away I couldn't do it, Mawruss, " Abe said. "When I leftLinkheimer in the subway this morning he said he was going over toNewark and he wouldn't be back till to-night. I'll stop in there thefirst thing to-morrow morning. "

With this ultimatum, Abe proceeded to the back of the loft andpersonally attended to the shipment of ten garments to a customer inCincinnati. Under his supervision a stock boy placed the garments in awooden packing box, and after the first top board was in position Abetook a wire nail and held it 'twixt his thumb and finger point down onthe edge of the case. Then he poised the hammer in his right hand andcarefully closing one eye he gauged the distance between the upraisedhammer and the head of the nail. At length the blow descended, andforthwith Abe commenced to dance around the floor in the newborn agonyof a smashed thumb. 

It was while he was putting the finishing touches on a bandage that madeup in bulk what it lacked in symmetry that Morris entered. 

"What's the matter, Abe?" he cried. "Did you hurted yourself?"

Abe transfixed his partner with a malevolent glare. 

"No, Mawruss, " he said, as he started for the front of the store, "Iain't hurted myself at all. I'm just tying this here handkerchief on mythumb to remind myself what a fool I got it for a partner. "

Morris waited till Abe had nearly reached the door. 

"I don't got to tie something on my thumb to remind myself of that, Abe, " he said. 

 * * * * *

Ever since the birth of his son it had seemed to Morris that the LenoxAvenue express service had grown increasingly slow. Nor did the eveningpapers contain half the interesting news of his early married life, andhe could barely wait until the train had stopped at One Hundred andSixteenth Street before he was elbowing his way to the platform. 

On the Monday night of his partner's mishap he made his accustomed dashfrom the subway station to his home on One Hundred and EighteenthStreet, confident that as soon as his latchkey rattled in the door Mrs. Perlmutter and the baby would be in the hall to greet him; but on thisoccasion he was disappointed. To be sure the appetizing odour of_gedampftes kalbfleisch_ wafted itself down the elevator shaft as heentered the gilt and plaster-porphyry entrance from the street, but whenhe crossed the threshold of his own apartment the robust wail of his sonand heir mingled with the tones of Lina, the Slavic maid. Of Mrs. Perlmutter, however, there was no sign. 

"Where's Minnie?" he demanded. 

"Mrs. Perlmutter, she go out, " Lina announced, "and she ain't cominghome yet. "

Not since the return from their honeymoon had Minnie failed to be athome to greet her husband on his arrival from business, and Morris wasabout to telephone a general alarm to police headquarters when thedoorbell rang sharply and Mrs. Perlmutter entered. Her hat, whose sizeand weight ought to have lent it stability, was tilted at a dangerousangle, and beneath its broad brim her eyes glistened with unmistakabletears. 

"Minnie _leben_, " Morris cried, as he clasped her in his arms, "what isit?"

Sympathy only opened anew the floodgates of Mrs. Perlmutter's emotions, and before she was sufficiently calm to disclose the cause of herdistress, the _gedampftes kalbfleisch_ gave evidence of its impendingdestruction by a strong odour of scorching. Hastily Mrs. Perlmutterdried her eyes and ran to the kitchen, so that it was not until therescued dinner smoked on the dining-room table that Morris learned thereason for his wife's tears. 

"Such a room, Morris, " Mrs. Perlmutter declared; "like a pigsty, andnot a crust of bread in the house. I met the poor woman in the meatmarket and she tried to beg a piece of liver from that loaferHirschkein. Not another cent of my money will he ever get. I bought abig piece of steak for her and then I went home with her. Her poor baby, Morris, looked like a little skeleton. "

Morris shook his head from side to side and made inarticulateexpressions of commiseration through his nose, his mouth beingtemporarily occupied by about half a pound of luscious veal. 

"Her husband has a job for eight dollars a week, " she continued, "andthey have to live on that. "

Morris swallowed the veal with an effort. 

"In Russland, " he began, "six people----"

"I know, " Mrs. Perlmutter interrupted, "but this is America, and you'vegot to go around with me right after dinner and see the poor people. "

Morris shrugged his shoulders. 

"If I must, I must, " he said, helping himself to more of the veal stew, "but I could tell you right now, Minnie, I ain't got twenty-five centsin my clothes, so you got to lend me a couple of dollars till Saturday. "

"I'll cash a check for you, " Mrs. Perlmutter said firmly, and as soon asdinner was concluded Morris drew a check for ten dollars and Mrs. Perlmutter gave him that amount out of her housekeeping money. 

It was nearly nine o'clock when Morris and Minnie groped along the darkhallway of a tenement house in Park Avenue. On the iron viaduct thatbestrides that deceptively named thoroughfare heavy trains thundered atintervals, and it was only after Morris had knocked repeatedly at thedoor of a top-floor apartment that its inmates heard the summons abovethe roar of the traffic without. 

"Well, Mrs. Schenkmann, " Minnie cried cheerfully, "how's the babyto-night?"

"Schenkmann?" Morris murmured; "Schenkmann? Is that the name of thempeople?"

"Why, yes, " Minnie replied. "Didn't I tell you that? Mrs. Schenkmann, this is my husband. And I suppose this is Mr. Schenkmann. "

A tall, gaunt person rose from the soap box that did duty as a chair andducked his head shyly. 

"Schenkmann?" Morris repeated. "You ain't the Schenkmann which he worksby Max Linkheimer?"

Nathan Schenkmann nodded and Mrs. Schenkmann groaned aloud. 

"_Ai zuris!_" she cried, "for his sorrow he works by Max Linkheimer. Eight dollars a week he is supposed to get there, and Linkheimer makesus live here in his house. Twelve dollars a month we pay for the rooms, lady, and Linkheimer takes three dollars each week from Nathan's money. We couldn't even get dispossessed like some people does and save amonth's rent oncet in a while maybe. The rooms ain't worth it, lady, believe me. "

"Does Max Linkheimer own this house?" Morris asked. 

"Sure, he's the landlord, " Mrs. Schenkmann went on. "I am just tellingyou. For eight dollars a week a man should work! Ain't it a disgrace?"

"Well, why doesn't he get another job?" Morris inquired; and then, asMr. And Mrs. Schenkmann exchanged embarrassed looks and hung theirheads, Morris blushed. 

"What a fine baby!" he cried hurriedly. He chucked the infant under itschin and made such noises with his tongue as are popularly supposed byparents to be of a nature entertaining to very young children. In pointof fact the poor little Schenkmann child, with its blue-whitecomplexion, looked more like a cold-storage chicken than a human baby, but to the maternal eye of Mrs. Schenkmann it represented the sum totalof infantile beauty. 

"God bless you, mister, " she said. "I seen you got a good heart, and ifyou know Max Linkheimer, he must told you why my husband couldn't getanother job. He tells everybody, lady, and makes 'em believe he gives myhusband a job out of charity. So sure as I got a baby which I hope hewould grow up to be a man, lady, my husband never took no money inDallas. Them people gives him a hundred dollars he should deposit it inthe bank, and he went and lost it. If he would stole it he would of gaveit to me, lady, because my Nathan is a good man. He ain't no loafer thathe should gamble it away. "

There was a ring of truth in Mrs. Schenkmann's tones, and as Morrislooked at the twenty-eight-years old Nathan, aged by ill nutrition andabuse, his suspicions all dissolved and gave place only to a greatpity. 

[Illustration: "If he would stole it he would of gave it to me, lady"]

"Don't say no more, Mrs. Schenkmann, " he cried; "I don't want to hear nomore about it. To-morrow morning your man leaves that loafer MaxLinkheimer and comes to work by us for eighteen dollars a week. "

 * * * * *

Easily the most salient feature of Mr. Max Linkheimer's attire was theI. O. M. A. Jewel that dangled from the tangent point of his generous waistline. It had been presented to him by Harmony Lodge, 122, at theconclusion of his term of office as National Grand CorrespondingSecretary, and it weighed about eight ounces avoirdupois. Not that therest of Mr. Linkheimer's wearing apparel was not in keeping, for heaffected to be somewhat old-fashioned in his attire, with just a dash of_bonhomie_. This implies that he wore a wrinkled frock coat and low-cutwaistcoat. But he had discarded the black string tie that goes with itfor a white ready-made bow as being more suitable to the rôle ofphilanthropist. The _bonhomie_ he supplied by not buttoning the two topbuttons of his waistcoat. 

"Why, hallo, Abe, my boy!" he cried all in one breath, as Abe Potashentered his button warerooms on Tuesday morning; "what can I do foryou?"

He seized Abe's right hand in a soft, warm grip, slightly moist, andcontinued to hold it for the better part of five minutes. 

"I come to see you about Schenkmann, " Abe replied. "We decide we wouldhave him come to work by us as a shipping clerk. "

"I'm glad to hear it, " said Linkheimer, "As I told you the other day, I've just been asked by a lodge I belong to if I could help out a youngfeller just out of an orphan asylum. He's a big, strong, healthy boy, and he's willing to come to work for half what I'm paying Schenkmann. Sonaturally I've got to get rid of Schenkmann. "

"I wonder you got time to bother yourself breaking in a new beginner, "Abe commented. 

Linkheimer waggled his head solemnly. 

"I can't help it, Abe, " he said. "I let my business suffer, butnevertheless I'm constantly giving the helping hand to these poorinexperienced fellows. I assure you it costs me thousands of dollars ina year, but that's my nature, Abe. I'm all heart. When would you wantSchenkmann to come to work?"

"Right away, Mr. Linkheimer. "

"Very good, I'll go and call him. "

He rose to his feet and started for the door. 

"Oh, by the way, Abe, " he said, as he paused at the threshold, "youknow Schenkmann is a married man with a wife and child, and I understandMrs. Schenkmann is inclined to be extravagant. For that reason I lethim live in a house I own on Park Avenue, and I take out the rent eachweek from his pay. It's really a charity to do so. The amountis--er--sixteen dollars a month. I suppose you have no objection tosending me four dollars a week out of his wages?"

"Well, I ain't exactly a collecting agency, y'understand, " Abe said;"but I'll see what my partner says, and if he's agreeable, I am. Onlyone thing though, Mr. Linkheimer, my partner bothers the life out of meI should get from you a recommendation. "

"I'll give you one with pleasure, Abe, " Linkheimer replied; "but itisn't necessary. "

He returned to the front of the office and went to the safe. 

"Why just look here, Abe, " he said. "I have here in the safe fivehundred dollars and some small bills which I put in there last nightafter I come back from Newark. It was money I received the day beforeyesterday as chairman of the entertainment committee of a lodge I belongto. The safe was unlocked from five to seven last night and Schenkmannwas in and out here all that time. "

He opened the middle compartment and pulled out a roll of bills. 

"You see, Abe, " he said, counting out the money, "here it is: onehundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred and----"

Here Mr. Linkheimer paused and examined the last bill carefully, forinstead of a hundred-dollar bill it was only a ten-dollar bill. 

"Well, what d'ye think of that dirty thief?" he cried at last. "ThatSchenkmann has taken a hundred-dollar bill out of there. "

"What?" Abe exclaimed. 

"Just as sure as you are sitting there, " Linkheimer went on excitedly. "That feller Schenkmann has pinched a hundred-dollar bill on me. "

Here his academic English completely forsook him and he continued in thevernacular of the lower East Side. 

"Always up to now I have kept the safe locked on that feller, and thevery first time I get careless he goes to work and does me for a hundreddollars yet. "

"But, " Abe protested, "you might of made a mistake, ain't it? If thefeller took it a hundred dollars, why don't he turn around and _ganver_the other four hundred? Ain't it? The ten dollars also he might of tookit. What?"

"A _ganef_ you couldn't tell what he would do at all, " Linkheimerrejoined, and Abe rose to his feet. 

"I'm sorry for you, Mr. Linkheimer, " he said, seizing his hat, "but Iguess I must be getting back to the store. So you shouldn't troubleyourself about this here feller Schenkmann. We decided we would getalong without him. "

But Abe's words fell on deaf ears, for as he turned to leave Mr. Linkheimer threw up the window sash and thrust his head out. 

"Po-lee-eece, po-lee-eece!" he yelled. 

 * * * * *

When Abe arrived at his place of business after his visit to MaxLinkheimer he found Morris whistling cheerfully over the morning mail. 

"Well, Abe, " Morris cried, "did you seen it Max Linkheimer?"

Abe hurriedly took off his hat and coat, and catching the bandaged thumbin the sleeve lining he swore long and loud. 

"Yes, I seen Max Linkheimer, " he growled, "and I'm sick and tired of thewhole business. Go ahead and get a shipping clerk, Mawruss. I'mthrough. "

"Why?" Morris asked. "Wouldn't Linkheimer give a recommendation, becauseif he wouldn't, Abe, I am satisfied we should take the feller withoutone. In fact I'm surprised you didn't bring him along. "

"You are, hey?" Abe broke in. "Well, you shouldn't be surprised atnothing like that, Mawruss, because I didn't bring him along for thesimple reason, Mawruss, I don't want no _ganef_ working round my place. That's all. "

"What do you mean--_ganef_?" Morris cried. "The feller ain't no more athief as you are, Abe. "

Abe's moustache bristled and his eyes bulged so indignantly that theyseemed to rest on his cheeks. 

"You should be careful what you say, Mawruss, " he retorted. "Maybe heain't no more a _ganef_ as I am, Mawruss, but just the same, he is injail and I ain't. "

"In jail, " Morris exclaimed. "What for in jail?"

"Because he stole from Linkheimer a hundred dollars yesterday, Mawruss, and while I was there yet, Linkheimer finds it out. So naturally hemakes this here feller arrested. "

"Yesterday, he stole a hundred dollars?" Morris interrupted. 

"Yesterday afternoon, " Abe repeated. "With my own eyes I seen it theother money which he didn't stole. "

"Then, " Morris said, "if he stole it yesterday afternoon, Abe, he didn'tpositively do nothing of the kind. "

Forthwith he related to Abe his visit to Schenkmann's rooms and thecondition of poverty that he found. 

"I give you my word, Abe, " he said, "the feller didn't got even a chairto sit on. "

"What do you know, Mawruss, what he got and what he didn't got?" Aberejoined impatiently. "The feller naturally ain't going to show you thehundred dollars which he stole it--especially, Mawruss, if he thinkshe could work you for a couple dollars more. "

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris broke in; "don't say again that fellerstole a hundred dollars, because I'm telling you once more, Abe, I knowhe didn't take nothing, certain sure. "

"_Geh wek_, Mawruss, " Abe cried disgustedly; "you talk like a fool!"

"Do I?" Morris shouted. "All right, Abe. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but just the same so positive I am he didn't done it, I'm going rightdown to Henry D. Feldman, and I will fix that feller Linkheimer heshould work a poor half-starved yokel for five dollars a week and acouple of top-floor tenement rooms which it ain't worth six dollars amonth. Wait! I'll show that sucker. "

He seized his hat and made for the elevator door, which he had almostreached when Abe grabbed him by the arm. 

"Mawruss, " he cried, "are you crazy? What for you should put yourselfout about this here young feller? He ain't the last shipping clerk inexistence. You could get plenty good shipping clerks without botheringyourself like this. Besides, Mawruss, if he did steal it or if he didn'tsteal it, what difference does it make to us? With the silk piece goodswhich we got it around our place, Mawruss, we couldn't afford to take nochances. "

"I ain't taking no chances, Abe, " Morris maintained stoutly. "I knowthis feller ain't took the money. "

"Sure, that's all right, " Abe agreed; "but you couldn't afford to beaway all morning right in the busy season. Besides, Mawruss, since whendid you become to be so charitable all of a suddent?"

"Me charitable?" Morris cried indignantly. "I ain't charitable, Abe. _Gott soll hüten!_ I leave that to suckers like Max Linkheimer. But whenI know a decent, respectable feller is being put into jail for somethingwhich he didn't do at all, Abe, then that's something else again. "

At this juncture the elevator arrived, and as he plunged in he shoutedthat he would be back before noon. Abe returned to the rear of the loftwhere a number of rush orders had been arranged for shipment. Under hisinstruction and supervision the stock boy nailed down the top boards ofthe packing cases, but in nearly every instance, after the case wasstrapped and stencilled, they discovered they had left one garment out, and the whole process had to be repeated. Thus it was nearly one o'clockbefore Abe's task was concluded, and although he had breakfasted latethat morning, when he looked at his watch he became suddenly famished. "I could starve yet, " he muttered, "for all that feller cares. "

He walked up and down the showroom floor in an ecstasy of imaginaryhunger, and as he was making the hundredth trip the elevator dooropened and Max Linkheimer stepped out. His low-cut waistcoat disclosedthat his shirtfront, ordinarily of a glossy white perfection, had fallenvictim to a profuse perspiration. Even his collar had not escaped theflood, and as for his I. O. M. A. Charm, it seemed positively tarnished. 

"Say, lookyhere, Potash, " he began, "what d'ye mean by sending yourpartner to bail out that _ganef_?"

"Me send my partner to bail out a _ganef_?" Abe exclaimed. "What are youtalking, nonsense?"

"I ain't talking nonsense, " Linkheimer retorted. "Look at the kinds ofconditions I am in. That feller Feldman made a fine monkey out of me inthe police court. "

"Was Feldman there too?" Abe asked. 

"You don't know, I suppose, Feldman was there, " Linkheimer continued;"and your partner went on his bail for two thousand dollars. "

Abe shrugged his shoulders. 

"In the first place, Mr. Linkheimer, " he said, "I didn't tell my partnerhe should do nothing of the kind. He done it against my advice, Mr. Linkheimer. But at the same time, Mr. Linkheimer, if he wants to go bailfor that feller, y'understand, what is it my business?"

"What is it your business?" Linkheimer repeated. "Why, don't you knowif that feller runs away the sheriff could come in here and clean outyour place? That's all. "

"What?" Abe cried. He sat down in the nearest chair and gaped atLinkheimer. 

"Yes, sir, " Linkheimer repeated, "you could be ruined by a thing likethat. "

Abe's lower jaw fell still further. He was too dazed for comment. 

"W-what could I do about it?" he gasped at length. 

"Do about it!" Linkheimer cried. "Why, if I had a partner who played mea dirty trick like that I'd kick him out of my place. There ain't acopartnership agreement in existence that doesn't expressly say onepartner shouldn't give a bail bond without the other partner's consent. "

Abe rocked to and fro in his chair. 

"After all these years a feller should do a thing like that to me!" hemoaned. 

Linkheimer smiled with satisfaction, and he was about to instance astriking and wholly imaginary case of one partner ruining another bygiving a bail bond when the door leading to the cutting room in the rearopened and Morris Perlmutter appeared. As his eyes rested on Linkheimerthey blazed with anger, and for once Morris seemed to possess a certaindignity. 

"Out, " he commanded; "out from _mein_ store, you dawg, you!"

As he rushed on the startled button dealer, Abe grabbed his coat-tailsand pulled him back. 

"Say, what are we here, Mawruss, " he cried, "a theaytre?"

"Let him alone, Abe, " Linkheimer counselled in a rather shaky voice. "I'm pretty nearly twenty years older than he is, but I guess I couldcope with him. "

"You wouldn't cope with nobody around here, " Abe replied. "If youse twowant to cope you should go out on the sidewalk. "

"Never mind, " Morris broke in, his valour now quite evaporated; "I'llfix him yet. "

"Another thing, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted; "why don't you come in thefront way like a man. "

"I come in which way I please, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "And furthermore, Abe, when I got with me a poor skeleton of a feller like NathanSchenkmann, Abe, I don't take him up the front elevator. I would beashamed for our competitors that they should think we let ourwork-people starve. The feller actually fainted on me as we was comingup the freight elevator. "

"As you was coming up the freight elevator?" Abe repeated. "Do you meanto tell me you got the nerve to actually bring this feller into _mein_place yet?"

"Do I got to get your permission, Abe, I should bring who I want tointo my own place?" Morris rejoined. 

"Then all I got to say is you should take him right out again, " Abesaid. "I wouldn't have no _ganévim_ in my place. Once and for all, Mawruss, I am telling you I wouldn't stand for your nonsense. You aregiving our stock as a bail for this feller, and if he runs away on us, the sheriff comes in and----"

"Who says I give our stock as a bail for this feller?" Morris demanded. "I got a surety company bond, Abe, because Feldman says I shouldn't goon no bail bonds, and I give the surety company my personal check for athousand dollars which they will return when the case is over. That'swhat I done it to keep this here Schenkmann out of jail, Abe, and if itwould be necessary to get this here Linkheimer into jail, Abe, I wouldhave another check for a thousand dollars for keeps. "

Abe grew somewhat abashed at this disclosure. He looked at Linkheimerand then at Morris, but before he could think of something to say theelevator door opened and Jake stepped out. It was perhaps the first timein all their acquaintance with Jake that Abe and Morris had seen himwith his face washed. Moreover, a clean collar served further to concealhis identity, and at first Abe did not recognize his former shippingclerk. 

"Hallo, Mr. Potash!" Jake said. 

"I'll be with you in one moment, Mister--er, " Abe began. "Just takea--why, that's Jake, ain't it?"

Here he saw a chance for a conversational diversion and he jumpedexcitedly to his feet. 

"What's the matter, Jake?" he asked. "You want your old job back?"

"It don't go so quick as all that, Mr. Potash, " Jake answered. "I got agood business, Mr. Potash. I carry a fine line of cigars, candy, andstationery, and already I got an offer of twenty-five dollars more as Ipaid for the business. But I wouldn't take it. Why should I? I took in alot money yesterday, and only this morning, Mr. Potash, a feller comesin my place and--why, there's the feller now!"

"Feller! What d'ye mean--feller?" Abe cried indignantly. "That ain't nofeller. That's Mr. Max Linkheimer. "

"Sure, I know!" Jake explained. "He's the feller I mean. Half an hourago I was in his place, and they says there he comes up here. You was in_mein_ store this morning, Mr. Linkheimer, ain't that right, and youbought from me a package of all-tobacco cigarettes?"

"_Nu, nu_, Jake, " Morris broke in. "Make an end. You are interrupting ushere. "

Jake drew back his coat and clumsily unfastened a large safety pin whichsealed the opening of his upper right-hand waistcoat pocket. Then hedug down with his thumb and finger and produced a small yellow wadabout the size of a postage stamp. This he proceeded to unfold until ittook on the appearance of a hundred-dollar bill. 

"He gives me this here, " Jake announced, "and I give him the change fora ten-dollar bill. So this here is a hundred-dollar bill, ain't it, andit don't belong to me, which I come downtown I should give it him backagain. What isn't mine I don't want at all. "

This was perhaps the longest speech that Jake had ever made, and hepaused to lick his dry lips for the peroration. 

"And so, " he concluded, handing the bill to Linkheimer, "here it is, and--and nine dollars and ninety cents, please. "

Linkheimer grabbed the bill automatically and gazed at the figures on itwith bulging eyes. 

"Why, " Abe gasped, "why, Linkheimer, you had four one-hundred-dollarbills and a ten-dollar bill in the safe this morning. Ain't it?"

Linkheimer nodded. Once more he broke into a copious perspiration, as hehanded a ten-dollar bill to Jake. 

"And so, " Abe went on, "and so you must of took a hundred-dollar billout of the safe last night, instead of a ten-dollar bill. Ain't it?"

Linkheimer nodded again. 

"And so you made a mistake, ain't it?" Abe cried. "And this herefeller Schenkmann didn't took no money out of the safe at all. Ain'tit?"

For the third time Linkheimer nodded, and Abe turned to his partner. 

"What d'ye think of that feller?" he said, nodding his head inLinkheimer's direction. 

Morris shrugged, and Abe plunged his hands into his trousers pockets andglared at Linkheimer. 

"So, Linkheimer, " he concluded, "you made a sucker out of yourself andout of me too! Ain't it?"

"I'm sorry, Abe, " Linkheimer muttered, as he folded away thehundred-dollar bill in his wallet. 

"I bet yer he's sorry, " Morris interrupted. "I would be sorry too if Iwould got a lawsuit on my hands like he's got it. "

"What d'ye mean?" Linkheimer cried. "I ain't got no lawsuit on myhands. "

"Not yet, " Morris said significantly, "but when Feldman hears of this, you would quick get a summons for a couple of thousand dollars damageswhich you done this young feller Schenkmann by making him falsearrested. "

"It ain't no more than you deserve, Linkheimer, " Abe added. "You'relucky I don't sue you for trying to make trouble between me and mypartner yet. "

For one brief moment Linkheimer regarded Abe sorrowfully. There were fewoccasions to which Linkheimer could not do justice with acut-and-dried sentiment or a well-worn aphorism, and he was about toexpatiate on ingratitude in business when Abe forestalled him. 

"Another thing I wanted to say to you, Linkheimer, " Abe said; "youshouldn't wait until the first of the month to send us a statement. Mailit to-night yet, because we give you notice we close your account righthere and now. "

 * * * * *

One week later Abe and Morris watched Nathan Schenkmann driving nailsinto the top of a packing case with a force and precision of which Jakehad been wholly incapable; for seven days of better housing and betterfeeding had done wonders for Nathan. 

"Yes, Abe, " Morris said as they turned away; "I think we made a find inthat boy, and we also done a charity too. Some people's got an idee, Abe, that business is always business; but with me I think differencely. You could never make no big success in business unless you got a littlesympathy for a feller oncet in a while. Ain't it?"

Abe nodded. 

"I give you right, Mawruss, " he said. 

CHAPTER TWO

THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS

There was an intimate connection between Abe Potash's advent in thelobby of the Prince Clarence Hotel one hot summer day in June and thepublication in that morning's Arrival of Buyers column of the followingstatement and news item:

 Griesman, M. , Dry Goods Company, Syracuse; M. Griesman, ladies' and misses' cloaks, suits, waists, and furs; Prince Clarence Hotel. 

Nevertheless, when Abe caught sight of Mr. Griesman lolling in one ofthe hotel's capacious _fauteuils_ he quickly looked the other way andpassed on to the clerk's desk. Then he asked in a loud tone for Mr. Elkan Reinberg, of Boonton, New Jersey; and, almost before the clerktold him that no such person was registered, he turned about andrecognized Mr. Griesman with an elaborate start. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Griesman?" he exclaimed. "Ain't it a pleasureto see you! What are you doing here in New York?"

Griesman looked hard at his interlocutor before replying. 

Some two years earlier there had been an acrimonious correspondencebetween them with reference to a shipment of skirts lost in transit--acorrespondence ending in threatened litigation; and Mr. Griesman hadtransferred his account with Potash & Perlmutter to Sammet Brothers. Hence he regarded Abe's proffered hand coldly, and instead of rising tohis feet he continued to puff at his cigar for a few moments. 

"I know your face, " he said at length, "but your name ain't familiar. "

"Think again, Mr. Griesman, " Abe said, quite unmoved by the rebuff. "Where did you seen me before?"

"I think I seen you in a law office oncet, " Griesman said. "To the bestof my recollection the occasion was one which you said you didn't give adamn about my business at all, and if I wouldn't pay for the skirts youwould make it hot for me. But so far what I hear it, I ain't paid forthe skirts, and I didn't sweat none either. "

"Why not let bygones be bygones, Mr. Griesman?" Abe rejoined. 

"I ain't got no bygones, Abe, " Griesman replied. "The bygones is all onyour side. I ain't got the skirts; so I didn't pay for 'em. "

"Well, what is a few skirts that fellers should be enemies about 'em, Mr. Griesman? The skirts is _vorbei schon_ long since already. Why don'tyou anyhow come down to our place oncet in a while and see us, Moe?"

"What would I do in your place, Abe?"

"You still use a couple garments, like we make it, in your business, Moe, " Abe continued. "You got to buy goods in New York oncet in a while. Ain't it?"

"Well, I do and I don't, Abe, " Moe rejoined. "I ain't the back numberwhich I oncet used to was, Abe. I got fresh idees a little too, Abe. Nowadays, Abe, a buyer couldn't rely on his own judgment at all. Beforehe buys a new season's goods he's got to find out what they're wearingon the other side first. So with me, Abe, I go first to Paris, Abe. ThenI see there what I want to buy here, Abe, and when I come back to NewYork I buy only them goods which has got the idees I seen it in Paris. "

"But how do you know we ain't got the idees you would seen it in Paris, Moe?"

"I don't know, Abe, " Moe replied, "because I ain't been to Paris yet sofar. I am now on my way over to Paris, Abe; and furthermore, Abe, if Iwould been to Paris, y'understand, what does a feller like Mawruss knowabout designing?"

"What d'ye mean, what does a feller like Mawruss know about designing?"Abe repeated. "Don't you fool yourself, Moe; Mawruss is a first-class, A number one designer. He gets his idees straight from the best fashionjournals. Then too, Moe, when it comes to up-to-date styles, I ain'tsuch a big fool neither, y'understand. I know one or two things aboutdesigning myself, Moe, and you could take it from me, Moe, there ain'tno house in the trade, Moe, which they got better facilities for givingyou the latest up-to-the-minute style like we got it. "

"Sure, I know, " Moe continued; "but as I told it you before, Abe, Iain't in the market for my fall goods now. I am now only on my way toParis, and when I would come back it would be time for you to waste yourbreath. "

"I could waste my breath all I want to, Moe, " Abe rejoined. "I ain'tlike some people, Moe; my breath don't cost me nothing. "

"What d'ye mean?" Moe cried indignantly. He had allowed himself theunusual indulgence of a cocktail that morning as a corollary to a ratherturbulent evening with Leon Sammet, and he had been absently chewing aclove throughout the interview with Abe. 

"I mean Hymie Salzman, designer for Sammet Brothers, " Abe replied. "There's a feller which he got it such a breath, Moe, he ought to put arevenue stamp on his chin. "

"That may be, Abe; but the feller delivers the goods. Sammet Brothersare sending him to Paris this year too, Abe. He is sailing with LeonSammet on the same ship with me, Abe. "

"Well, then all I could say to you is, Moe, you should look out foryourself and don't play no auction pinocle with that feller. Everyafternoon he is playing with such sharks like Moe Rabiner and MarksPasinsky, and if he ever got out of a job as designer he could go on thestage at one of them continual performances as a card juggler yet. Athree-fifty hand is the least that feller deals himself. "

"One thing is sure, Abe, you couldn't never sell me no goods by knockingHymie Salzman. "

"I ain't trying to sell you no goods, Moe; I am only talking to you likean old friend should talk to another. When are you coming back?"

"About July 1st I should be here, " Moe replied, "and if you want to comeand see me like an old friend, Abe, you are welcome. Only I got to saythis to you, Abe, I forgot them skirts long since ago already, and Iwish you the same. "

 * * * * *

When Abe entered his showroom that morning Morris Perlmutter had justarranged a high-neck evening gown on a wire model. 

"Well, Abe, what d'ye think of it?" he exclaimed proudly, as he wipedhis glistening brow. Abe fingered the garment's silken folds and puffedcritically at a black cigar. 

"What could I think, Mawruss?" he replied. "The garment looks all right, Mawruss, and I ain't kicking, y'understand; but I tell you the honesttruth, Mawruss, the way things is nowadays, Mawruss, a feller could beElijah the Prophet already, and he couldn't tell in June what is goingto please the garment buyers in September. "

Morris flushed angrily. 

"I don't know what comes over you lately, Abe; nothing suits you, " hecried. "I got here a garment which if we would be paying a designer tenthousand dollars a year yet he couldn't turn us out nothing better, andyet you are kicking. "

"What d'ye mean, kicking?" Abe rejoined. "I ain't kicking. I am onlypassing a remark, Mawruss. I am saying I couldn't tell nothing about it, Mawruss, because so far ahead of time like this, Mawruss, a garmentcould look ever so rotten, Mawruss, and it could turn out to be arecord-seller anyhow. "

"So, Abe, " Morris broke out furiously, "you think the garment looksrotten! What? Well, all I got to say is this, Abe; if the garment looksso rotten you should quick hire some one which could design a betterone, because I am sick and tired of your kicking. "

"What's the matter, you got pepper up your nose all of a sudden, Mawruss?" Abe protested. "I ain't saying nothing about the garment isrotten. I am only saying it gets so nowadays that in June a fellerturns out a style which if we was making masquerade costumes already itwould be freaky anyhow; and yet, Mawruss, it would go big in September. You get the idee what I am talking about, Mawruss?"

"I get the idee all right, " Morris retorted with bitter emphasis. "Yougot the nerve to stand there and tell me this here garment is freakylike a masquerade costume. _Schon gut_, Abe. From now on I wash myselfof the whole thing. I am through, Abe. You should right away advertisefor a designer. "

Abe rose wearily to his feet. 

"With a touchy proposition like you, Mawruss, " he said, "a fellercouldn't open his mouth at all. I ain't saying nothing about you as adesigner, Mawruss. All I am saying, Mawruss, is, a designer could be afeller which he is so high-grade like Paquin or any of them Frenchers, but if he gets his idees from fashion papers _oder_ the _Daily Cloak andSuit Gazette_, Mawruss, then oncet in a while he turns out a sticker. "

Morris was stripping the garment from the display form, but he paused tofavour his partner with a glare. 

"What would you want me to do, then?" he asked. "Make up styles out frommy own head, Abe? If I wouldn't get my idees from the fashion papers, Abe, where would I get 'em?"

"Where would you get 'em?" Abe repeated. "Why, where does Hymie Salzman, designer for Sammet Brothers, and Charles Eisenblum, designer forKlinger & Klein, get their idees, Mawruss?"

This was purely a rhetorical question, but as Abe paused to heighten theeffect of the peroration, Morris undertook to supply an answer. 

"Them suckers don't get their idees, Abe, " he said; "they steal 'em. Ifa concern gets a run on a certain garment, Abe, them two highway robbersmakes a duplicate of it before you could turn around your head. That'sthe kind of cut-throats them fellers is, Abe. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe continued; "but they got to turn out some garmentsof their own, Mawruss, and they get their idees right from headquarters. They get their idees from Paris, Mawruss. Only this morning I hear itthat Hymie Salzman sails for Paris on Saturday. "

"Well, I couldn't stop him, Abe, " Morris commented. 

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe went on; "but things is very quiet here inthe store, Mawruss, and for a month yet we wouldn't do hardly nobusiness. I could get along here all right until, say, July 15thanyhow. "

For two minutes Morris looked hard at his partner. 

"What are you driving into, Abe?" he asked at length. 

"Why, I am driving into this, Mawruss, " Abe continued. "Why don't you goto Paris?"

"Me go to Paris!" Morris exclaimed. 

"Why not?" Abe murmured. The suggestion did seem preposterous after all. 

"Why not!" Morris repeated. "There's a whole lot of reasons why not, Abe, and the first and foremost is that the Atlantic Ocean would got torun dry and they got to build a railroad there first, Abe. I crossed thewater just oncet, Abe, and I wouldn't cross it again if I never soldanother dollar's worth more goods so long as I live, Abe; and that's allthere is to it. "

"What are you talking nonsense, Mawruss? On them big boats like the_Morrisania_ there ain't no more motion than if a feller would be goingto Coney Island, Mawruss. "

"That's all right, Abe, " Morris replied firmly. "Me, if I would go toConey Island, I am taking always the trolley, Abe, from the New Yorkside of the bridge. Furthermore, Abe, if Sammet Brothers sends a drinkerlike Hymie Salzman to Paris, Abe, they got a right to spend their moneythe way they want to; but all I got to say is that we shouldn't beafraid they would cop out any of our trade on that account, Abe. Hymiewould come home with new idees of tchampanyer wine and not garments, Abe. "

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe retorted; "but if you would go over toParis, Mawruss, you would come back with some new idees which you wouldturn out some real snappy stuff, Mawruss. As it is, Mawruss, with asticker like you got it there, Mawruss, we would ruin our business. "

"All right, Abe; I heard enough. You got altogether too much to say fora feller which comes downtown at ten o'clock with no excuse nornothing. "

At this point Abe interrupted his partner long enough to relate hisvisit to Moe Griesman, but the information entirely failed to placateMorris. 

"All right, Abe, " he shouted; "why don't you go to Paris? That's allyou're fit for. I got a wife and baby, Abe; but with a feller which hehas got no more interest in his home, y'understand, than he wants to goto Paris, Abe--all right! Go ahead, Abe; go to Paris. I am satisfied. "

Abe regarded his partner for one hesitating moment. 

"_Schon gut_, I will go to Paris, " he said; and the next moment theelevator door closed behind him. 

For five minutes after Abe's departure Morris gazed earnestly at hisnewest creation. He had intended the model as a pleasant surprise to hispartner, since not only had he conceived the garment to be a triumph ofthe dressmaker's art, but it had been finished far in advance of theseason for originating new styles. He had confidently expected anenthusiastic reception of this _chef-d'oeuvre_; but in view of Abe'sscathing criticism, he commenced to doubt his own estimate of the beautyof the dress. Indeed, the longer he looked at it the uglier it appeared, until at length he grabbed it roughly and literally tore it from thewire form. He had rolled it into a ball and was about to cast it into acorner when the elevator door opened and a young lady stepped out. 

"Good morning, Mr. Perlmutter, " she said. 

Morris turned his face in the direction of the speaker and at once hismouth expanded into a broad grin. 

"Why, Miss Smith!" he exclaimed as he rushed forward to greet her. "Howdo you do? Me and Mrs. Perlmutter was just talking about you to-day. Howmuch you think that boy weighs now?"

"Sixteen pounds, " Miss Smith replied. 

"Twenty-two, " Morris cried--"net. "

"You don't say so!" said Miss Smith. 

"We got you to thank for that, Miss Smith, " Morris continued. "Thedoctor says without you anything could happen. "

Miss Smith deprecated this compliment to her professional skill with asmiling shake of the head. 

"We wouldn't forget it in a hurry, " Morris declared. "Everything whatthat boy is to-day, Miss Smith, we owe it to you. "

"You're making it hard for me, Mr. Perlmutter, " Miss Smith replied, "because I've come to ask you a favour. "

"A favour?" Morris replied. "You couldn't ask me to do you a favourbecause it wouldn't be no favour. It would be a pleasure. What could Ido for you?"

"I have to leave town to-morrow on a case, " Miss Smith explained, "and Ineed a dress in a hurry, something light for evening wear. "

Morris frowned perplexedly. 

"That's too bad, " he said, "because just at present we got nothing butlast year's goods in stock--all except--all except this. "

He unfolded the model and shook it out. 

"What a pretty dress!" Miss Smith cried, clasping her hands. 

"Pretty!" Morris exclaimed. "How could you say it was pretty?"

"It's perfectly stunning, " Miss Smith continued. "What size is it, Mr. Perlmutter?"

"The usual size, " Morris replied; "thirty-six. "

"Why, that's just my size, " Miss Smith declared. "Let me see it. " Morrishanded her the dress and she examined it carefully. "What a pity, " shesaid, "it has a slight rip in front. Somebody's been handling itcarelessly. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris said. "I tore it myself, Miss Smith; but if youreally and truly like it, Miss Smith, which I tell you the truth Idon't, and my partner neither, you are welcome to it, and I would giveyou a little piece from the same goods which you could fix up the ripwith. "

"I couldn't think of it, " Miss Smith replied. 

"Not at all, Miss Smith. You would do me a favour if you would take italong with you right now. "

Miss Smith fairly beamed as she opened her handbag. 

"How much is it?" she asked. 

"How much is it?" Morris repeated. "Why, Miss Smith, you could take thatdress only on one condition. The condition is that you wouldn't pay menothing for it, and that next fall, when we really got something instock, you would come in and pick out as many of our highest-pricegarments as you would want. "

Morris's hand shook so with this unusual access of generosity that hecould hardly wrap up the garment. 

"Also, Miss Smith, I expect you will come up and have dinner with us assoon as you get back from wherever you are going. Already the babycommences to recognize people which he meets, and we want him he shouldnever forget you, Miss Smith. "

The cordiality with which Morris ushered Miss Smith into the elevatorwas in striking contrast to the brusk manner in which he greeted Abehalf an hour later. 

"_Nu!_" he growled. "Where was you now?"

"By the steamship office, " Abe replied. "I am going next Saturday. "

"Going next Saturday?" Morris repeated. "Where to?"

"To Paris, " Abe replied, "on the same ship with Moe Griesman, LeonSammet and Hymie Salzman. "

Morris nodded slowly as the news sank in. 

"Well, all I could say is, Abe, " he commented at length, "that I don'twish you and the other passengers no harm, y'understand; but, with themthree suckers on board the ship, I hope it sinks. "

 * * * * *

The five days preceding Abe's departure were made exceedingly busy forhim by Morris, who soon became reconciled to his partner'sfashion-hunting trip, particularly when he learned that Moe Griesmanformed part of the quarry. 

"You got to remember one thing, Abe, " he declared. "Extremes is nix. Letthe other feller buy the freaks; what we are after is something inmoderation. "

"You shouldn't worry about that, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "I wouldn'tbring you home no such model like you showed it me this week. "

"You would be lucky if you wouldn't bring home worser yet, " Morrisretorted. "But anyhow that ain't the point. I got here the names of acouple commission men which it is their business to look out forgreenhorns. "

"What d'ye mean, greenhorn?" Abe cried indignantly. "I ain't nogreenhorn. "

"That's all right, " Morris went on; "in France only the Frenchers ain'tgreenhorns. You ain't told me what kind of a stateroom you got it. "

"Well, the outside rooms was one hundred and twenty-five dollars and theinside room, was eight-five dollars, " Abe explained; "so I took aninside room because the light wouldn't come in and wake me up so earlyin the morning, Mawruss, and forty dollars is as good to me as it is tothem suckers what runs the steamboat company. Ain't it?"

Nevertheless, when Abe found himself in his upper berth the morningafter he had parted with Minnie, Rosie, and Morris at the pier, he hadreason to regret his economy. He shared his stateroom with a singer ofminor operatic rôles, who, as a souvenir of a farewell luncheon ashore, carried into that narrow precinct an odour of garlic that persisted forthe entire voyage. In addition, the returning artist smoked Egyptiancigarettes and anointed his generous head of hair with violetbrilliantine. Hence it was not until the boat was passing Brow Head thatAbe staggered up the companionway to the promenade deck. 

"Why, hallo, Abe!" cried a bronzed and bulky figure. "I ain't seen youfor almost a week. "

"No?" Abe murmured. "Well, if you would wanted to seen me, Leon, youknew where you could find me: just below the pantry my stateroom was, inside. A dawg shouldn't got to live in such a place. "

At this juncture Salzman appeared to summon his employer to a game ofauction pinocle in the smoking room, and as Abe started to make a feeblepromenade around the deckhouse he encountered Moe Griesman. After Moehad taken Abe's hand in a limp clasp he nodded in the direction of thesmoking room. 

"What d'ye think of them two suckers?" he croaked. "They ain't missed ameal since they came aboard. "

"What could you expect from a couple of tough propositions like that?"Abe replied. "Was you sick, Moe?"

"Sick!" Griesman exclaimed. "I give you my word, Abe, last Thursdaynight I was so sick that I commenced to figure out already how much Iwould of saved in premiums if my insurings policies would be straightlife instead of endowment. No, Abe; this here business of going to Parisfor your styles ain't what it's cracked up to be. Always up to now I gotfine weather crossing, but the way the water has been the last six days, Abe, I am beginning to think I could get just so good idees of theseason's models right in New York. "

"D'ye know, Moe, " said Abe, "I'm starting to feel hungry? I wish thatfeller with the _shofar_ would come. "

Hardly had he spoken when the ship's bugler announced luncheon, but itwas some minutes before Moe could summon up sufficient courage to gobelow to the dining saloon, and when they entered they found Leon Sammetand Hymie Salzman had nearly concluded their meal. 

"Steward, " Leon shouted as Moe sat down next to him, "bring me a nicepiece of Camembert cheese. "

"One moment, Leon, " Griesman interrupted; "if you bring that stuff undermy nose here I would never buy from you a dollar's worth more goods solong as I live!"

"The feller goes too far, Abe, " he said, after Leon had cancelled theorder and departed to drink his coffee in the smoking room. "The fellergoes too far. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on deck, and the way Ifelt, Abe, my worst enemy wouldn't got to feel it. Do you believe me, Abe, that feller got the nerve to offer me a cigar yet! It pretty nearfinished me up. He only done it out of spite, Abe, but I fooled him. Itook the cigar and I got it in my pocket right now. "

"Don't show me, " Abe cried hurriedly. "I'll tell you the truth: thereain't nothing in the smoking habit. I'm going to cut it out. Waiter, bring me only a plate of clear soup and some dry toast. There ain't noneed for a feller to smoke, Moe; it's only an extra expense. "

"I think you're right, Abe, " Moe said; "but I know that this here cigarcost Leon a quarter on board ship here, and I thought I would show himhe shouldn't get so gay. "

Despite Abe's resolution, however, a large black cigar protruded fromhis moustache when he stood on the wharf at Cherbourg, twenty-four hourslater, and a small, ill-shaven stevedore, clad in a dark blouse andshabby corduroy trousers, pointed to the cloud of smoke that issued fromAbe's lips and chattered a voluble protest. 

"What does he say, Moe?" Abe asked. 

"I don't know, " Moe replied. "He's talking French. "

"French!" Abe exclaimed. "What are you trying to do--kid me? A dirty_schlemiel_ of a greenhorn like him should talk French! What an idee!"

Nevertheless, Abe was made to throw away his cigar, and it was not untilthe quartette were snugly enclosed in a first-class compartment en routeto Paris that Abe felt safe to indulge in another cigar. He explored hispockets, but without result. 

"Moe, " he said, "do you got maybe another cigar on you?"

"I'm smoking the one which Leon give it me on the ship the other day, "Moe replied. "Leon, be a good feller; give him a cigar. "

"I give you my word, Moe, this is the last one, " Leon replied as he bitthe end off a huge invincible. 

"You got something there bulging in your vest pocket, Abe. Why don't yousmoke it?"

"That ain't a cigar, " Abe answered; "that's a fountain pen. "

"Smoke it anyhow, " Leon advised; "because the only cigars you could geton this train is French Government cigars, and I'd sooner tackle afountain pen as one of them rolls of spinach. "

"That's a country!" Abe commented. "Couldn't even get a decent cigarhere!"

"In Paris you could get plenty good cigars, " Hymie Salzman said, andHymie was right for, at the Gare St. Lazare, M. Adolphe Kaufmann-Levi, _commissionnaire_, awaited them, his pockets literally spillingred-banded perfectos at every gesture of his lively fingers. M. Kaufmann-Levi spoke English, French, and German with every muscle of hisbody from the waist up. 

"Welcome to France, Mr. Potash, " he said. "You had a good voyage, doubtless; because you Americans are born sailors. "

"Maybe we are born sailors, " Abe admitted, "but I must of grew out ofit. I tell you the honest truth, if I could go back by trolley, and ittook a year, I would do it. "

"The weather is always more settled in July than in August, " said M. Kaufmann-Levi, "and I wouldn't worry about the return trip just now. Ihave rooms for you gentlemen all on one floor of a hotel near theOpera, and taximeters are in waiting. After you have settled we willtake dinner together. "

Thus it happened that, at half past six that evening, M. Kaufmann-Leviconducted his four guests from the Restaurant Marguery to a sidewalktable of the Café de la Paix, and for almost an hour they watched thecrowd making its way to the Opera. 

"You see, Moe, " Abe said, "everything is tunics this year; tunics _oder_chiffon overskirts, net collars and yokes. "

Moe nodded absently. His eyes were glued to a lady sitting at the nexttable. 

"You got to come to Paris to see 'em, Abe, " he murmured. "They don'tmake 'em like that in America. "

"We make as good garments in America as anywhere, " Abe protested. 

"Garments I ain't talking about at all, " Moe whispered hoarsely; "I meanpeaches. Did y'ever see anything like that lady there sitting next toyou? Look at the get-up, Abe. Ain't it chic?"

"It's a pretty good-looking model, Moe, " Abe replied, "but a bit tooplain for us. See all the fancy-looking garments there are round here. "

"Plain nothing!" Moe muttered. "Look at the way it fits her. I tell you, Abe, the French ladies know how to wear their clothes. "

A moment later the couple at the next table passed along toward theOpera, and once more Abe and Moe turned their attention to the crowds onthe boulevard. 

For the remainder of their stay in Paris Abe and Leon spent their timein a ceaseless hunt for new models and their nights in plying MoeGriesman with entertainment. It cannot be said that Moe discouraged themto any marked degree, for while he occasionally hinted to Abe that theNew York cloak and suit trade was an open market, and garment buyers hada large field from which to choose, he also told Leon that he saw noreason why he should not continue to buy goods from Sammet Brothers, provided the prices were right. 

Nearly every evening found them sitting at the corner table of the Caféde la Paix, and upon many of these occasions the next table was occupiedby the same couple that sat there on the night of Abe's arrival inParis. 

"You know, Abe, that dress is the most uniquest thing in Paris, " Moeexclaimed on the evening of the last day in Paris. "I ain't seen nothinglike it anywhere. "

"Good reason, Moe, " Leon Sammet cried; "it's rotten. That's one of lastyear's models. "

"What are you talking nonsense? One of the last year's models!" MoeGriesman cried indignantly. "Don't you think I know a new style when Isee it?"

"Moe is right, Leon, " Abe said. "You ain't got no business to talkthat way at all. The style is this year's model. "

"Of course, Abe, " Leon said with ironic precision, "when a judge likeyou says something, y'understand, then it's so. Take another of themsixty-cent ice-creams, Moe. "

Ordinarily Abe would have turned Leon's sarcasm with a retort in kind, but Leon's remark fell on deaf ears, for Abe was listening to aconversation at the next table and the language was English. 

"It's time to start back to the hotel, " said the young lady to herescort, who was an elderly gentleman. 

Abe turned to Moe and Leon. 

"Excuse me for a few minutes, " he said; "I got to go back to the hotelfor something. "

He handed Leon a twenty-franc piece. 

"If I shouldn't get back, pay the bill!" he cried, and jumping to hisfeet he followed the couple from the next table. 

The old gentleman walked feebly with the aid of a cane, and the younglady held him by the arm as they proceeded to the main entrance of theGrand Hotel. Abe dogged their footsteps until the old gentlemandisappeared into the lift and the young lady retired to the wintergarden that forms the interior court of the hotel. As she seated herselfin a wicker chair Abe approached with his hat in his hand. 

"Lady, excuse me, " he began; "I ain't no loafer. I'm in the cloak andsuit business, and I would like to speak to you a few words--somethingvery particular. "

The young lady turned in her chair. She was not alarmed, only surprised. 

"I hope you don't think I am asking you anything out of the way, " Abesaid, without further prelude; "but you got a dress on, lady, which Idon't know how much you paid for it, but if three hundred of thesehere--now--francs would be any inducement I'd like to buy it from you. Of course I wouldn't ask you to take it off right now, but if you wouldleave it at the clerk's desk here I could call for it in half an hour. "

The young lady made no reply, instead she threw back her head andlaughed heartily. 

"It ain't no joke, lady, " Abe continued as he laid three flimsy notes ofthe Bank of France in her lap. "That's as good as American greenbacks. "

The young lady ceased laughing, and for a minute, hesitated betweenindignation and renewed mirth, but at last her sense of humourconquered. 

"Very well, " she said; "stay here for a few minutes. "

Half an hour later she returned with the dress wrapped up in a paperparcel. 

"How did you know I wouldn't go off with the money, dress and all?"she asked as Abe seized the package. 

"I took a chance, lady, " he said; "like you are doing about the moneywhich I give you being good. "

"Have no scruples on that score, " the young lady replied. "I had itexamined at the clerk's office just now. "

 * * * * *

When M. Adolphe Kaufmann-Levi bade farewell to Moe, Abe, Leon, and HymieSalzman, at the Gare St. Lazare, he uttered words of encouragement andcheer which failed to justify themselves after the four travellers'embarkment at Cherbourg. 

"You will have splendid weather, " he had declared. "It will be fine allthe way over. "

When the steamer passed out of the breakwater into the English Channelshe breasted a northeaster that lasted all the way to the Banks. EvenHymie Salzman went under, and Leon Sammet walked the swaying decksalone. Twice a day he poked his head into the stateroom occupied by MoeGriesman and Abe Potash, for Abe had thrown economy to the winds and hadgone halves with Moe in the largest outside room on board. 

"Boys, " Leon would ask, "ain't you going to get up? The air is fine ondeck. "

Had he but known it, Moe Griesman developed day by day, with growingintensity, that violent hatred for Leon that the hopelessly seasickfeel toward good sailors; while toward Abe, who groaned unceasingly inthe upper berth, Moe Griesman evinced the affectionate interest that thepoor sailor evinces in any one who suffers more keenly than himself. 

At length Nantucket lightship was passed, and as the sea grew calmer twowhite-faced invalids, that on close scrutiny might have been recognizedby their oldest friends to be Moe and Abe, tottered up the companionwayand sank exhausted into the nearest deckchairs. 

"Well, Moe, " Leon cried, as he bustled toward them smoking a large cigarand clad in a suit of immaculate white flannels, "so you're up again?"

The silence with which Moe received this remark ought to have warnedLeon, but he plunged headlong to his fate. 

"We are now only twenty hours from New York, " he said, "and suppose I godownstairs and bring you up some of them styles which I got in Paris. "

"You shouldn't trouble yourself, " Moe said shortly. 

"Why not?" Leon inquired. 

"Because, for all I care, " Moe replied viciously, "you could fire 'emoverboard. I would _oser_ buy from you a button. "

"What's the matter?" Leon cried. 

"You know what's the matter, " Moe continued. 

"You come every day into my stateroom and mock me yet because I amsick. "

"I mock you!" Leon exclaimed. 

"That's what I said, " Moe continued; "and if you wouldn't take thatcigar away from here I'll break your neck when I get on shore again. "

Leon backed away hurriedly and Moe turned to Abe. 

"Am I right or wrong?" he said. 

Abe nodded. He was incapable of audible speech, but hour by hour he grewstronger until at dinner-time he was able to partake of some soup androast beef, and even to listen with a wan smile to Moe's causticappraisement of Leon Sammet's character. Finally, after a good night'srest, Moe and Abe awoke to find the engine stilled at Quarantine. Theywere saved the necessity of packing their trunks for the cogent reasonthat they had been physically unable to open them, let alone unpackthem. Hence they repaired at once to breakfast. 

Leon was already seated at table, and he hastily cancelled an order forYarmouth bloater and asked instead for a less fragrant dish. 

"Good morning, Moe, " he said pleasantly. 

Moe turned to Abe. "To-morrow morning at nine o'clock, Abe, " he said, "Iwould be down in your store to look over your line. "

"Steward, " Leon Sammet cried, "never mind that steak. I would take thebloater anyhow. "

Abe and Moe breakfasted lightly on egg and toast, and returned to theirstateroom as they passed the Battery. 

"Say, lookyhere, Moe, " Abe said; "I want to show you something which Ibought for you as a surprise the night before we left Paris. I got itright in the top of my suitcase here, and it wouldn't take a minute toshow it to you. "

Abe was unstrapping his suitcase as he spoke, and the next minute heshook out the gown he had purchased from the young lady of the Cafe dela Paix, and exposed it to Moe's admiring gaze. 

"How did you get hold of that, Abe?" Moe asked. 

Abe narrated his adventure at the Grand Hotel, while Moe gaped hisastonishment. 

"I always thought you got a pretty good nerve, Abe, " he declared, "butthis sure is the limit. How much did you pay for it?"

"Three hundred of them--now--francs, " Abe replied; "but I've beenfiguring out the cost of manufacturing and material, and I couldduplicate it in New York for forty dollars a garment. "

"You mean thirty-five dollars a garment, don't you?" Moe said. 

"No, I don't, " Abe replied. "I mean forty dollars a garment. Why do yousay thirty-five dollars?"

"Because at forty dollars apiece, Abe, I could use for my Sarahcuse, Rochester, and Buffalo stores about fifty of these garments, and youought to figure on at least five dollars' profit on a garment. "

"Well, maybe I am figuring it a little too generous, y'understand; so, if that goes, Moe, I will quote the selling price at, say, forty dollarsa garment to you, Moe. "

"Sure, it goes, " Moe said; "and I'll be at your store to-morrow morningat nine o'clock to decide on sizes and shades. "

Abe's passage through the customs examination was accomplished withease, for nearly all his Paris purchases were packed in the hold to becleared by a custom-house broker. His stateroom baggage contained nodutiable articles save the gown in question and a few trinkets forRosie, who was at the pier to greet him. Indeed, she bestowed on him aseries of kisses that reechoed down the long pier, and Abe's pallor gaveway to the sunburnt hue of his amused fellow-passengers. In one of themAbe recognized with a start the tanned features of the young lady of theCafé de la Paix. 

"Moe, " he said, nudging Griesman, "there's your friend. "

Moe turned in the direction indicated by Abe, and his interested mannerwas not unnoticed by Mrs. Potash. 

"How is your dear wife and daughter, Mr. Griesman?" she askedsignificantly. "I suppose you missed 'em a whole lot. "

When Moe assured her that he did she sniffed so violently that it mighthave been taken for a snort. 

"Well, Abe, " he said at length, "I'll be going on to the PrinceClarence, and I'll see you in the store to-morrow morning. Good-by, Mrs. Potash. "

"Good-by, " Mrs. Potash replied, with an emphasis that implied "goodriddance, " and then, as Moe disappeared toward the street, she sniffedagain. "It don't take long for some loafers to forget their wives!" shesaid. 

 * * * * *

"Well, Abe, " Morris said, after the first greetings had passed betweenthem that afternoon, "I'm glad to see you back in the store. "

"You ain't half so glad to see me back, Mawruss, as I am that I shouldbe back, " Abe replied. "Not that the trip ain't paid us, Mawruss, because I got a trunkful of samples on the way up here which I assureyou is a work of art. "

"Sure, I know!" Morris commented with just a tinge of bitterness in histones; "Paris is the place for styles. Us poor suckers over here don'tknow a thing about designing. "

"Well, Mawruss, I'll tell you, " Abe went on: "you are a first-class, Anumber one designer, I got to admit, and there ain't nobody that Iconsider is better as you in the whole garment trade; but"--here hepaused to unfasten his suitcase--"but, Mawruss, " he continued, "I gothere just one sample style which I brought it with me, Mawruss, and Ithink, Mawruss, you would got to agree with me, such models we don'tturn out on this side. "

Here he opened the suitcase, and carefully taking out the dress of theCafé de la Paix he spread it on a sample table. 

"What d'ye think of that, Mawruss?" he asked. 

Morris made no answer. He was gazing at the garment with bulging eyes, and beads of perspiration ran down his forehead. 

"Abe!" he gasped at length, "where did you get that garment from?"

Before Abe could answer, the elevator door opened and a young ladystepped out. It was now Abe's turn to gasp, for the visitor was no otherthan the tanned and ruddy young person from the Café de la Paix. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Perlmutter, " she said. "I've just got back. "

"Oh, good afternoon, Miss Smith!" Morris cried. 

"I hope I'm not interrupting you, " she continued. 

"Not at all, " Morris said; "not at all. "

Then a wave of recollection came over him, and he muttered ahalf-smothered exclamation. 

"Abe, Miss Smith, " he almost shouted, and then he sat down. "Say, lookyhere, Abe, what is all this, anyway? Miss Smith comes in hereand----"

"Well, upon my word!" Miss Smith interrupted; "if it isn't the gentlemanfrom the Café de la Paix--and, of all things, there is the very dress!"

Abe shrugged his shoulders. 

"That's right, Miss Whatever-your-name is, " Abe admitted; "that's thedress, and since I paid you sixty dollars for it I don't think you gotany kick coming. "

"Sixty dollars!" Morris cried. "Why, that dress as a sample garment onlycost us twenty-two-fifty to make up. "

"Cost us?" Abe repeated. "As a sample garment? What are you talkingabout?"

"I am talking about this, Abe, " Morris replied: "that dress is theself-same garment which I designed it, and which you says was rotten andfreaky, and which I give it to Miss Smith here for a present, and whichyou paid Miss Smith sixty dollars for. "

"And here is the sixty dollars now, " Miss Smith broke in. "I hurriedhere as fast as I could to give it to you, Mr. Perlmutter. "

"One moment, " Abe said. "I don't know who this young lady is or nothing;but do you mean to told me that this here dress which I bought it inParis was made up right here in our place?"

"Here, Abe, " Morris said, "I want to show you something. Here is fromthe same goods a garment, and them goods as you know we get it from theHamsuckett Mills. So far what I hear it, the Hamsuckett Mills don'tsell their output in Paris. Am I right or wrong?"

Abe nodded slowly. 

"Well, Mr. Perlmutter, " Miss Smith said, "here's your sixty dollars. I've got to get back to my patient. You know that I went to Paris with arheumatic case, and I've left the old gentleman in charge of a friend. Icame here to settle up. "

"Excuse me, " said Abe; "I ain't been introduced to this young lady yet. "

"Why, I thought you knew her, " Morris said. "This is Miss Smith, thetrained nurse which was so good to my Minnie when my Abie was born. "

"Is that so?" Abe cried. "Well, Miss Smith, you should take that sixtydollars and keep it, because, Mawruss, on the way over I sold MoeGriesman fifty garments of that there style of yours at forty dollarsapiece. "

"You don't say so!" Morris cried. "You don't say so! Well, all I got tosay is, Miss Smith, in the first place, if Abe wouldn't of told you tokeep that sixty dollars I sure would of done so, and in the secondplace, I want you to come in here next week and pick out half a dozendresses. Ain't that right, Abe?"

"I bet yer that's right, Mawruss; we wouldn't take no for an answer, "Abe replied. "And you should also leave us your name and address, MissSmith, because, _Gott soll hüten_, if I should be sick, y'understand, I don't want nobody else to nurse me but you. "

 * * * * *

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris said the following morning, "that trunkfulof Paris samples which the custom-house says we would get this morningain't come yet. "

Abe clapped his partner on the shoulder and grinned happily. 

"What do I care, Mawruss?" he said. "For my part they should never come. I ain't got no use for Paris fashions at all. Styles which MawrussPerlmutter originates is good enough for me, because I always said it, Mawruss, you are a cracker-jack, high-grade, A number one designer!"

CHAPTER THREE

DEAD MEN'S SHOES

"There goes that sucker, Aaron Kronberg, from Port Sullivan, " Abe Potashdeclared to his partner, Morris Perlmutter, as they looked from thewindows of their showroom to the opposite sidewalk some four storiesbelow. "Ain't it funny that feller would never buy from us a dollar'sworth more goods?"

"The reason ain't hard to find, Abe, " Morris replied. "Oncet a garmentbuyer gets into the hands of a competitor like Leon Sammet, it's alloff. I bet yer Leon tells him we are all kinds of crooks and swindlers. "

"What could you expect from a cut-throat like Leon Sammet? That felleris no good and his father before him is also a thief. I know his peoplefrom the old country yet. One was worser as the other. "

"Well, there's nothing the matter with Aaron's cousin, Alex Kronberg, anyhow, " Morris observed. "That feller does a fine business inBridgetown, and Sammet Brothers could no more take his trade away fromus than they could fly. "

"That ain't our fault, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "Sammet Brothers is flyenough to do anything, Mawruss; but, the way Aaron Kronberg hates AlexKronberg, if they was to sell Alex a single garment, y'understand, Aaronwould never buy from them a dollar's worth more goods so long as helived. "

"Ain't it a disgrace them two fellers is such enemies, Abe?"

"Alex ain't no enemy, Mawruss, " Abe said. "It's Aaron what's the enemy. Alex don't trouble himself at all. He told me so himself. But that's theway it goes, Mawruss. Mosha Kronberg, Hillel Kronberg, and ElkanKronberg was three brothers which you don't see nowadays at all--morelike friends than brothers, Mawruss. Hillel died ten years ago and Ithought it would broke Mosha's heart. He looked after Hillel's widow andHillel's boy, Alex, because Mosha never married, Mawruss. He was a bornuncle. Then, when Elkan died a year later, I never seen a feller sobroke up like Mosha in all my life. He goes to work and sends Elkan'sboy, Aaron, to business college, and Elkan's widow he takes to live withHillel's widow, all together with himself and the two boys in that houseof his on Madison Street. For three years they lived that way, and inthe rest of the house Mosha couldn't keep any tenants at all. At last hegives Aaron a couple thousand dollars and Alex the same, and Aaronbuys a store up in Port Sullivan, and Alex goes up to Bridgetown. "

"What become of the widows, Abe?" Morris asked. 

"I don't know is Elkan's widow living now _oder_ not, " Abe said, "butMosha told me Hillel's widow wants to get married again, and Alex comesto him and says he should give the old lady anyhow a thousand dollars. Mosha wants to know what for, and Alex tells him he owes from Hillel'sestate yet a couple thousand dollars. "

"And did he?" Morris inquired. 

"Suppose he did?" Abe replied. "He is entitled to it after what he putsup with during them three years they lived together. Well, Mosha andAlex gets right away fighting about it, and I guess Alex would of suedMosha in the courts yet, only the old lady goes to work and dies on 'emall of a sudden. "

"But why is Aaron and Alex such enemies, Abe?" Morris asked. 

"Well, it's like this, Mawruss: Aaron and Alex is good friends untilUncle Mosha cut Alex out of his will. You see Aaron and Alex is the onlytwo relations which Mosha got at all. So naturally when Aaron thinks heis coming in for the whole thing he begins to get sore at Alex, and themore Aaron thinks that the old man really ought to leave half to Alex, the more he gets sore at Alex. "

"The whole business is dead wrong, Abe, " Morris commented. "In thefirst place, the old man ain't got no right to leave his money only toAaron; and in the second place, Aaron ain't got no right to feel sore atAlex. And furthermore Alex ought to go round and see his uncle oncet ina while when he is in New York, in the third place. "

"Well, why don't you tell him so this afternoon, Mawruss?" Abe said. "Alex is staying up at the Prince Clarence since last night already, andhe said he would be sure down here this afternoon. "

"I will do so, " Morris replied firmly. 

"Go ahead, " Abe added, "only one thing I got to tell you, Mawruss. Thereis some customers which would stand anything, Mawruss. You could ship'em two garments short in every order; you could send 'em goods whichain't no more like the sample than bread is like _motsos_; you couldovercharge 'em in your statements; you could even draw on 'em one dayafter their account is due, and still they would buy goods of you; butso soon as you start to butt into their family affairs, Mawruss, that'sthe finish, Mawruss. They would leave you like a shot. "

"Alex Kronberg wouldn't take it so particular, " Morris retorted. "Heknows I am only doing it for his own good. "

"Oh, if you are only doing it for his own good, Mawruss, then that'ssomething again, " Abe said; "because in that case we would not only losehim for a customer, Mawruss, but we would also make an enemy of himfor life. "

"You shouldn't worry, " Morris replied as he put on his hat preparatoryto going out to lunch. "I know how to take care of a customer allright. "

Nevertheless Morris cogitated his partner's advice throughout the entirelunch hour, and over his dessert he commenced to formulate a tentativeplan for restoring Alex Kronberg to his inheritance. 

Two cups of coffee and a second helping of _mohn_ cake aided the processof celebrating this scheme, so that when Morris returned to his place ofbusiness it was nearly two o'clock. 

"Abe, " he said as he entered, "I've been thinking over this here matterabout Alex Kronberg, and I ain't going to talk to Alex about it at all. Do you know what I'm going to do?"

Abe grabbed his hat and turned to Morris with a savage glare. 

"Sure, I know what you are going to do, Mawruss, " Potash bellowedbelligerently. "Henceforth, from to-morrow on, you are going to do this, Mawruss: you are going to lunch after I am coming back. I could dropdead from hunger already for all you care. I got a stomach too, Mawruss, and don't you forget it. "

 * * * * *

Mosha Kronberg lived on the ground floor of his own tenement house onMadison Street, and to say that Aaron Kronberg worshipped the groundhis uncle walked on would be to utter the literal truth. 

"Well, uncle, how do you feel to-day?" Aaron inquired the morning afterAbe and Morris had so thoroughly discussed the Kronberg familyrelations. 

"I could feel a whole lot better, Aaron, and I could feel a whole lotworse, " Mosha Kronberg replied. "Them suckers has been after me again. "

"Which ones are they now?" Aaron asked, his curiosity aroused. 

"An orphan asylum, " Mosha replied. "The gall which some people got it, Aaron, honestly you wouldn't believe it at all. They want me I shouldgive 'em two hundred and fifty dollars. I told 'em time enough when Iwould die, _Gott soll hüten_. "

"What are you talking nonsense, Uncle Mosha?" Aaron broke in. "You ain'tgoing to die for a long time yet; and anyhow, Uncle Mosha, if peoplegoes to work and has children which they couldn't support while they areliving even, why should they get any of your money to support 'em afteryou are dead? No one asks them suckers they should have children. Ain'tI right?"

"Sure you are right, " Uncle Mosha agreed. "Hospitals also, Aaron. If Igot one hospital bothering me, I must got a dozen. Why should I bothermyself with hospitals, Aaron? A lowlife, a gambler, hangs around liquorsaloons all times of the night till he gets sick, y'understand, andthen he must go to a hospital and get well on my money yet. I seemyself!"

"What hospital was it?" Aaron inquired. 

"The Mount Hebron Hospital, " Uncle Mosha replied. "There is thecatalogue now. They are sending it me this morning only. "

Aaron seized the annual report and list of donating members of thehospital and opened it at the letter K. 

"Do you know what I think, uncle?" Aaron cried. "I think that AlexKronberg puts 'em up to asking you for money. "

"Alex puts 'em up to it?" Mosha repeated. "What for should Alex do sucha thing?"

"Here; let me show you, " Aaron cried. "Alex himself gives them fakersfive dollars. Here it is in black on white: 'Alex Kronberg, Bridgetown, Pennsylvania, five dollars. '"

Uncle Mosha adjusted a pair of eyeglasses to his broad, flat nose andperused the record of his nephew's extravagance with bulging eyes. 

"Well, what d'ye think for a sucker like that!" he exclaimed. 

"I tell you the honest truth, uncle, " Aaron said, "I don't want to saynothing about Alex at all, but the way that feller is acting, justbecause he does a little good business in his store, honestly it's adisgrace. He sends my mother for ten dollars a birthday present too. DoI need that sucker he should give my mother birthday presents? He isthrowing away his money left and right, and the first thing you know heis coming to you borrowing yet. "

"He should save himself the trouble, " Uncle Mosha declared. "His tongueshould be hanging out of his mouth with hunger, Aaron, and I wouldn'tgive him _oser_ one cent. "

Aaron's face broke into a thousand wrinkles as he beamed hissatisfaction. 

"Well, uncle, " he said, "I must got to be going. I got a whole lot ofthings to do to-day. Take care of yourself. "

"Don't worry about me, " Aaron's Uncle Mosha replied. "I could take careof myself all right. You wouldn't drink maybe a glass of _schnaps_ orsomething before you go? No? All right. "

He always delayed his proffer of hospitality until Aaron was on thefront stoop. After the latter had turned the corner of Pike Street, Uncle Mosha lingered to take the morning air. A fresh breeze from thesouthwest brought with it a faint odour of salt herring and onions fromthe grocery store next door, while from the bakery across the streetcame the fragrant evidence of a large batch of _Kümmel brod_. He sighedcontentedly and turned to reënter the house, but even as he did so hewheeled about in response to the greeting: "How do you do, Mr. Kronberg?"

The speaker was none other than Morris Perlmutter, who had tossed on hispillow until past midnight devising a plan for approaching Uncle Moshain a plausible manner. Now that his quarry had fallen so opportunelywithin his grasp, Morris's face wreathed itself in smiles of suchamiability that Uncle Mosha grew at once suspicious. 

"You got the advantage from me, " he said. 

"Why, don't you know me?" Morris cooed. 

"I think, " Uncle Mosha replied guardedly, "I seen you oncet beforesomewheres. You are a collector for a hospital or a orphan asylum, orsome such sucker game. Ain't it?"

Morris laughed mirthlessly. His discarded plan for renewing hisacquaintance with Uncle Mosha had involved the pretence that he wasseeking to interest the old gentleman in the Home for Chronic Invalids, Independent Order Mattai Aaron, of which fraternity Morris was an activemember; and Uncle Mosha's apparent distaste for organized charity provedrather disconcerting. 

"You're a poor guesser, Mr. Kronberg, " he said. 

"Then you are connected with some charity. Ain't it?" Uncle Moshacontinued. 

Morris denied it indignantly. 

"_Gott soil hüten_, " he said. "My name is Mr. Perlmutter and I am in thecloak and suit business. "

"Oh, I remember now!" Uncle Mosha cried. The news that Morris was nocharity worker restored him to high good-humour. 

"I remember you perfect now, " he said, shaking hands effusively withMorris. "You got a partner by the name Potash, ain't it?"

"That's right, " Morris replied. 

"And what brings you over here in this _nachbarschaft_?" Uncle Moshainquired. 

Morris looked from Uncle Mosha to the tarnished brass plate on the sideof the tenement-house door. It read as follows:

 M. KRONBERG REAL ESTATE

"The fact is, " Morris said, "I am coming to see you in a business way, and if you got time I'd like to say a little something to you. "

"Come inside, " Uncle Mosha grunted. He thought he discerned a furtivetimidity in his visitor's manner strongly indicative of an impendingtouch. 

"In the first place, " he began, after Morris was seated, "I ain't got somuch money which people think I got it. "

"I never thought you did, " said Morris, and Uncle Mosha glared inresponse. 

"But I ain't no beggar neither, y'understand, " he retorted. "I got alittle something left, anyhow. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris agreed; "but what you have got or what you ain'tgot is neither here or there. I am coming over this morning to ask yousomething, a question. "

Here he paused. He had not yet determined what the question would be, and it occurred to him that, unless it were sufficiently momentous toaccount for his presence on the lower East Side during the busiest hoursof a business day, Uncle Mosha would show him the door. 

"Go ahead and ask it, then, " Uncle Mosha broke in impatiently. "Icouldn't sit here all day. "

"The fact is, " Morris said slowly, and then his mind reverted to thebrass plate on the door and he at once proceeded with renewedconfidence--"the fact is I am coming over here to ask you something, aquestion which a friend of mine would like to buy a property on the EastSide. "

"A property, " Uncle Mosha repeated. "A property is something else again. What for a property would your friend like to buy it?"

"A fine property, " Morris replied; "a property like you got it here. "

"But this here property ain't for sale, " Uncle Mosha said. "I got thehouse here now since 1890 already, and I guess I would keep it. "

"Sure, I know; that's all right, " Morris went on; "but I thought, evenif you wouldn't want to sell the house, you know such a whole lot aboutreal estate, Mr. Kronberg, you could help us out a little. "

The hard lines about Uncle Mosha's mouth relaxed into a smile. 

"Well, when it comes to real estate, " he said, "I ain't a fool exactly, y'understand. "

"That's what I was told, " Morris continued. "A friend of mine he says tome: 'If any one could tell you about real estate, Mosha Kronberg could. There's a man, ' he says, 'which his opinion you could trust in itanything what he says is so. If the Astors and the Goelets would knowabout East Side real estate what that feller knows--understandme--instead of their hundreds of millions they would have thousands ofmillions already. '"

Uncle Mosha fairly beamed. 

"Yes, Mr. Kronberg, " Morris went on, without taking breath, "he says tome: 'You should go and see Uncle Mosha; he's a gentleman and he wouldtreat you right. ' 'But, ' I says to him, 'I ain't got no right to butt inon your Uncle Mosha. You see, Alex, ' I says----"

"Alex!" Uncle Mosha cried. "Did Alex Kronberg send you here?"

"That's who it was, " Morris replied. 

"Then all I could say is, " Uncle Mosha thundered, "you should go rightback to Alex and tell him from me that I says any friend of his whichhe comes to me looking for information about real estate, he's lucky Idon't kick him into the street yet. "

He jumped up from his chair and opened the door leading into the publichall. 

"Go on, " he roared, "out from my house. "

Morris rose leisurely to his feet and pulled a large cigar from hispocket. 

"If that's the way you feel about it, Mr. Kronberg, " he said gently, "_schon gut_. I wouldn't bother you any more. At the same time, Mr. Kronberg, if ever you should want to sell the house, y'understand, letme know; that's all. " As he passed out of the door he laid the cigar ona side table and its bright red band immediately caught the eye of UncleMosha. He pounced on it and was about to hurl it after his departingvisitor when something about the smoothness of the wrapper made himpause. Five minutes later he lolled back in a horsehair-covered rockerand puffed contentedly at Morris's cigar. "After all, " he said, "I mightget a good price for the house anyway. "

From Mosha Kronberg's tenement house on Madison Street to the cloak andsuit district, at Nineteenth Street and Fifth Avenue, is less than twomiles as the crow flies, but Morris Perlmutter's journey uptown wasaccomplished in less direct fashion. He spent over half an hour in anantiquated horse car and by the time the Broadway car to which hetransferred had reached Madison Square it was nearly twelve o'clock. Ashe walked down Nineteenth Street he almost collided with Abe, whose facewore a frown. 

"Say, lookyhere, Mawruss!" he cried. "What kind of business is this?Here you are just getting downtown and I am going out to lunch already. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris retorted. "You think of nothing but your stomach. Believe me, Abe, I worked hard enough this morning. "

"Worked nothing!" Abe rejoined. "You have been up to some monkeybusiness, Mawruss; otherwise why should Mosha Kronberg telephone us justnow he thought the matter over since you left there and he would be upto see you this afternoon already. "

"What!" Morris cried. "Did Mosha Kronberg telephone that himself?"

"All right, Mawruss; then I am a liar!" Abe exploded. "I am telling youwith my own ears I heard him. "

"I believe you, Abe, " Morris said soothingly. "Don't hurry back fromyour lunch. I got lots of time. "

"I would hurry back _oder_ not, as I please, Mawruss, " Abe retorted ashe trudged off toward Hammersmith's restaurant. There he ministered tohis outraged feelings with a steaming dish of _gefüllte rinderbrust_, and it was not till he had sopped up the last drop of gravy with a pieceof rye bread that he became conscious of a stranger sitting opposite tohim. 

"Excuse me, " said the latter, "you got a little soup on the lapel ofyour coat. "

"That ain't soup, " Abe explained, as he dipped his napkin in his glassof ice-water and started to remove the stain; "that's a little _gefüllterinderbrust_, which they fix it so thin and watery nowadays it mightjust as well be soup the way it's always getting over your clothes. "

"Things ain't the same like they used to be, " the stranger remarked. "Twenty--twenty-five years ago a feller could get a meal down on CanalStreet for a quarter--understand me--which it was really something youcould say was remarkable. Take any of them places, Gifkin's _oder_Wasserbauer's. Ain't I right?"

"Did you used to went to Gifkin's?" Abe asked. 

"I should say!" his vis-à-vis replied. "When I was a boy of fifteen I ameating always regularly by Gifkin's. "

"Me too. I used to eat a whole lot by Gifkin's, " Abe said; "in fact, Ithink I must of seen you there. "

"I shouldn't wonder, " the stranger continued. "At the time, I wasworking by old man Baum right across from Gifkin's. He was my unclealready. "

"You are old man Baum's nephew!" Abe exclaimed. "How could that be? Oldman Baum only got one brother, Nathan, which he got mixed up in arailroad accident near Knoxville. He was always up to some monkeybusiness, that feller, _olav hasholom_. "

"Sure, I know, " the stranger continued; "but old man Baum got also onesister, my mother, Mrs. Gershon. You must remember my father, SamGershon. Works for years by Richter as a cutter. My name is Mr. MaxGershon. "

"Why, sure I do!" Abe said, shaking hands with his new-foundacquaintance. "So you are a son of old man Gershon? Do you live here inNew York, Mr. Gershon?"

"No; I live in Johnsville, Texas, " Mr. Gershon replied. "This is myfirst visit North in twenty-five years. Yes, Mr. --er----"

"Potash, " Abe said. 

"Mr. Potash, " Gershon continued, "I'm feeling pretty lonesome, I cantell you. All my folks is dead: my father, my mother, my two uncles; andthere ain't a soul here in New York which remembers me at all. "

"Is that so?" Abe commented, with ready sympathy. 

"Yes, Mr. Potash, " Gershon said, "when I was a boy I done a fool thing. When I was sixteen years old already I run away from home because myfather licked me; and I never wrote to 'em or sent no word to 'em untilit was too late. You see, up to five years since, I didn't done so good. Everything seemed to went against me, Mr. Potash; but lately I am doinga fine business for a small place like Johnsville, and to-day I got thebest store down there. "

"You don't say so!" Abe cried. 

"So I thought last month, instead I would go to Dallas or Forth Worthlike I usually done, I would come straight on to New York and not onlybuy my fall goods but also give the old folks a surprise. And what do Ifind? Everybody is dead. "

Mr. Gershon pressed a handkerchief to his eyes. 

"You shouldn't take on so, " Abe said, leaning across the table andplacing his hand on Gershon's arm. "It's the way of the world, Mr. Gershon, and I could assure you we got the finest line of garments inour store, which it is first-class stuff, up to the minute, and pricesand everything just right. "

Mr. Gershon wiped his eyes. 

"You must excuse me, Mr. Potash, " he said. "My feelings is got thebetter of me. "

"That's all right, " Abe murmured. "Here is our card, and you shouldpositively come up to see us. Even if you wouldn't buy from us a button, Mr. Gershon, it would be a pleasure for us to see you in our place. "

"I would sure be there, " Mr. Gershon said as he pocketed the card. 

"Waiter, " Abe called, "put this here gentleman's check on mine and bringus two of them thirty-cent cigars. "

 * * * * *

So eagerly did Morris await the advent of Uncle Mosha Kronberg in Potash& Perlmutter's store that he even omitted to notice his partner'sprolonged absence at lunch; and when Abe returned to unfold thenarrative of his meeting with a prospective customer Morris heard itwithout interest. 

"The feller is A number one, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I stopped off to seeSam Feder at the Kosciusko Bank, and Sam sent me to the AssociatedInformation Bureau. He is rated twenty to thirty thousand; credit good. "

"Yes?" Morris replied. "Tell me, Abe, did Mosha Kronberg say just whenhe would be here?"

"What are you wasting your time about Mosha Kronberg for?" Abe retorted. "We got enough to do we should pick out a few good styles to showGershon. "

Morris nodded absently. His thoughts were centred on a short old manwith close-cropped beard who at that very moment was turning the cornerof Fifth Avenue and Nineteenth Street. Simultaneously Aaron Kronberg ranacross the street from Sammet Brothers' doorway and clapped the oldgentleman on the shoulder. 

"Hello, Uncle Mosha!" he cried. "What are you doing around here?"

"Couldn't I come uptown oncet in a while if I would want to?" UncleMosha replied, somewhat testily. 

"Sure, sure, " Aaron Kronberg hastened to say. "Did you eat yet?"

"I never eat in the middle of the day, " Uncle Mosha said. "I am up hereon business. "

"On business?" Aaron repeated. "What for business?"

"I think I sold the house, " Mosha replied. 

For one brief moment Aaron gazed at his uncle and then he linked his armin that of the old man. "Come over to Twenty-third Street and drinkanyhow a cup of coffee, " he said, and ten minutes later they entered anenamelled brick dairy restaurant. 

"You say you think you sold the house?" Aaron said, after a waitress hadserved them. 

Uncle Mosha nodded. He was emptying a cup of coffee in long, noisyinhalations and at the same time consuming cheese sandwiches withuncommonly keen appetite--for a man who never ate in the middle of theday. 

"Yes, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha said, as he emerged all dripping from the cup, "I think I sold the house, and I guess I would have another cupcoffee. "

"Go ahead, " Aaron replied. "But what for you want to sell the house, Uncle Mosha? It brings you in anyhow a good income. "

"A good income for some people, Aaron, but for me not. What is onethousand a year, Aaron?"

"One thousand a year, uncle, is a whole lot, especially to a man likeyou, what lives simple. "

"My living expenses is very little, I admit, Aaron, " Uncle Moshareplied, after he had disposed of the second cup of coffee with noisesapproximating a bathtubful of soapy water disappearing down thewastepipe. "I don't make no fuss about my living, Aaron, but you got toremember, Aaron, that a man couldn't live on living expenses alone. Oncet in a while a feller likes to take a little flyer in the market andtry and make a few dollars. Ain't it?"

"What!" Aaron exclaimed. This was a phase of his uncle's character thathad never been exposed before. 

"Yes, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha continued; "living ain't only having a room tosleep in and food to eat, Aaron. Other things is living, Aaron. Stocksis living and auction pinocle is also living, and going oncet in a whileon theayter is living too, Aaron. I may be an old man, Aaron, but Iain't dead yet. "

Aaron's pale face grew almost ghastly at these shocking disclosures, andwhen Uncle Mosha concluded his audacious creed with a furtive wink hisnephew visibly started. 

"But you got plenty other money to invest in the stock market withoutyou would sell the house, Uncle Mosha, " he said. 

"Have I?" Uncle Mosha rejoined. "That's news to me, Aaron. You see innineteen-seven was a big panic and some stocks is better as others. Themwhich ain't, Aaron, they went and gone so low, Aaron, they ain't nevercome back again and perhaps never will. Might you heard something aboutit in Port Sullivan maybe? Ten thousand dollars I dropped on themsuckers down in Wall Street, Aaron. "

Uncle Mosha smiled blandly at his nephew, who grasped the edge of thetable to steady his whirling senses. 

"But what's the use talking, " Uncle Mosha continued. "What is _vorbei_is _vorbei_; and I guess I would have another cup of coffee. "

"You had enough coffee, " Aaron cried sternly. "So you gone and droppedyour money on stocks, hey?"

Uncle Mosha shrugged and extended one palm in philosophic resignation. 

"It was my own money, Aaron, " he said. "I didn't stole it. "

"This ain't no time for making jokes, Uncle Mosha, " Aaron retorted. "Whowas it you was going to sell the house to?"

"Maybe you know him, " Uncle Mosha said. "It's a feller by the nameMawruss Perlmutter. "

Aaron Kronberg's pallor gave way to a flood of crimson, and for a momenthe choked incoherently as he gazed at Uncle Mosha in amazement. 

"Why, that feller Perlmutter is a friend of Alex, " he gasped at length. 

"Sure, I know, " Uncle Mosha replied; "but even if he is a friend of Alexhis money ain't counterfeit. "

"But he'd rob you of your shirt, Uncle Mosha, " Aaron exclaimed. "He's adangerous feller. "

"I'm used to dangerous fellers, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha answered calmly. "Itold you before, I dropped ten thousand in Wall Street. "

"Yes; and if you would sold this here house, Uncle Mosha, you would dropten thousand more. "

"Not ten thousand, Aaron. I only got eight thousand equity in thehouse. "

Again Aaron stared at his uncle. 

"Do you mean to told me you only got eight thousand dollars in theworld?" he groaned. 

"The world is a pretty big place, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha said; "but Iwouldn't lie to you anyhow. Eight thousand is the figure. "

"Then all I could say is, Uncle Mosha, before you would got to gobegging on the streets yet, you would better sell that house and come tolive with me up in Port Sullivan. "

Uncle Mosha shrugged once more. 

"I'll tell you the truth, Aaron, " he said; "I was going to suggest thatto you myself yet. So let's go right off and see this here Perlmutterand we'll talk about Port Sullivan later. "

"Not by a damsite, " Aaron declared, as he rose from his chair andgrasped his uncle firmly by the arm. "You come with me and we'll sellthis house to a feller I know. "

 * * * * *

When Max Gershon entered the salesroom of Potash & Perlmutter thatafternoon, Abe treated the incident as though it were the arrival of anintimate friend after an absence of many years' duration. 

"How are you feeling now, Max?" he said, and then he introduced hispartner. "Mawruss, " he called, "this is my friend, Mr. Max Gershon. Getthe cigars from the safe, Mawruss. "

After he had relieved his visitor of his hat and coat he drew forward acomfortable chair and literally thrust Max into it. 

"Well, Max, " Abe said, after the cigars had gone around, "I sure am gladto see you. Mawruss, don't he look like his uncle, old man Baum?"

Morris regarded Max critically for a moment. 

"Old man Baum was a pretty good-looking feller, Abe, " he said, "but hewasn't so tall as Mr. Gershon; otherwise they are the same identicalpeople. "

"Never mind his looks, " Max said, beaming. "If I should have only hisbusiness ability I would be satisfied. "

"He made plenty money in his time, " Morris commented. 

"Yes, and lost it again too, " Max added; "but what's the use talking?Money I ain't in need of exactly, y'understand. "

"You need goods, Max, " Abe said. "Is that it?"

"Well, I do and I don't, Abe, " Max replied. "The fact is, Abe, I got agood business down in Johnsville, but I couldn't extend it none onaccount the place ain't big enough. Former times that was all cattlecountry around there, and now it's all truck farms and cotton, and whatsort of business could a drygoods merchant do with cotton hands? Ain't Iright?"

Abe nodded. 

"I tell you the honest truth, Abe, " Max continued. "I would like to sellout and come North. I got an idee if I would find some hustling youngfeller up here which he got a good department store--good but small, y'understand--in a live town, Abe, I would go with him as partnerstogether, and we could extend the business and make a good thing of it. "

Abe looked at Morris and then he slapped his thigh with his open hand. 

"By jimminy, " he cried, "I got the very thing for you, Max. "

Morris gazed at his partner with raised eyebrows and then he too slappedhis thigh. 

"Alex Kronberg!" he exclaimed. 

"That's the feller, " Abe said. "There's a man, Max, which he is honestlike the day and smart as a cutting machine. I know him since he was ababy, y'understand, and he's worked his way up till now he's got a finebusiness in Bridgetown. Only yesterday he says to me if he could get alive partner with a little capital, y'understand, he would soon got thebiggest store in Bridgetown. "

"What for a town is Bridgetown?" Max asked. 

"Bridgetown is all right, Max, " Abe said. "I give you my word, Max, theygot so many factories there which they burn soft coal, on the brightestdays you couldn't see the sun at all. It is an elegant place, Max. "

"And what is more, Max, " Morris added, "only last Saturday night, Alextells me, the store was so crowded two saleswomen fainted. "

"It sounds good, " Max admitted. "Who did you say owns the store?"

"Alex Kronberg, " Morris replied. 

"Kronberg--Kronberg, " Max repeated. "The name sounds familiar. When didyou say he would be here?"

"He ought to be in here every minute, " Abe said. Hardly had he spokenwhen the elevator door clanged and Alex himself entered. 

He glistened with perspiration, and his round, good-humoured face bore abroad grin. 

"Phoo-ee!" he cried. "I'm all heated up. "

"What's the trouble, Alex?" Morris asked. 

"I just run into Aaron and Uncle Mosha coming out of a coffee house, andthe way them two suckers cussed me out, Mawruss!--you wouldn't believeit at all. I couldn't understand what they was talking about, Mawruss, but they mentioned your name and something about Mosha's house onMadison Street. "

Abe glared at Morris and then turned to Alex with a forced smile. 

"Don't you bother yourself about them fellers, Alex, " he said. 

"What do I care for 'em, Abe?" Alex replied. "I got my own troubles. "

"Sure, " Morris broke in; "but what did they say about the house, Alex?"

"So far what I could hear, Mawruss, Aaron says you are trying to buyfrom Mosha the house. "

"No such thing, Alex, believe me, " Abe interrupted. 

"But Aaron says he's already got a customer for the house, " Alex wenton; "and who d'ye think it is?"

Abe wiped his forehead with his handkerchief and continued to glare atMorris. 

"I don't know who it is, " Abe said, "and, what's more, I don't care. Iwant to introduce you to a friend of mine, Alex. This is Mr. MaxGershon, from Johnsville, Texas. "

"I'm pleased to meetcher, Mr. Gershon, " Alex replied. "Yes, Mawruss, Aaron says he sold the house already, and who d'ye think he sold it to?"

Morris made an inarticulate noise which he intended as an expression ofcuriosity. 

"A friend of yours by the name Leon Sammet, " Alex Kronberg said. 

 * * * * *

"You see how it is?" Aaron Kronberg said to his Uncle Mosha as theypassed down Fifth Avenue after their encounter with Alex. "You see howit is? The feller is a desperate character, Uncle Mosha. You couldn'tmake him mad even. "

"A lowlife!" Uncle Mosha cried, shaking his head from side to side. "Hismother before him was just such another like him. I could spit bloodhollering at that woman and she wouldn't answer me back at all. "

"Well, now you got it, " Aaron retorted triumphantly; "and so, if youwould start to sell your house to his friend Perlmutter, the least thathappens to you is they would do you for the whole thing. "

"Maybe you're right, " Uncle Mosha admitted. 

"And so I am going to take you over to see a friend of mine by the nameLeon Sammet, " Aaron continued, "and if you want to leave the thing tome, Uncle Mosha, I am certain sure I could get you a good price for thehouse. "

"Certain sure nobody could be of getting a good price for a house inthese times, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha said. "Real estate on the East Side is'way down, Aaron. The subway ruins everything. "

"I don't care about subways nor nothing, " Aaron cried. "I would get youwhat you want for that house. What would you consider a good price forthe house, uncle?"

"A very good price would be forty-two two-fifty, " Uncle Mosha replied;"but me I would be willing to accept forty thousand. "

"Well, lookyhere, " Aaron commenced; "I'm going to do this for you, UncleMosha. I'm going to get Leon Sammet to give you not forty thousand orforty-two two-fifty neither. I'm going to get Leon Sammet to give youforty-three thousand for the house, uncle, but I only do it on onecondition, uncle. "

"And what is that?" Uncle Mosha asked. 

"I would do it for you only on condition you come to live with me atPort Sullivan, " Aaron concluded; "and also you must give me, to takecare of it for you, all the cash money you get for the house. "

Uncle Mosha frowned as he drew from his pocket a small packet wrapped innewspaper. This he proceeded to unwrap until there was exposed theunburnt half of a large black cigar. It was all that remained of MorrisPerlmutter's gift and Uncle Mosha carefully knocked the ash off beforehe put it in his mouth. 

"Why don't you answer me?" Aaron asked. 

"I got to think, ain't I?" Uncle Mosha mumbled as he paused to light up. He puffed away in silence until they had nearly reached the entrance toSammet Brothers' place of business. 

"_Schon gut_, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha said at length. "I will do it withthis here exception: I would sell the house for forty-three thousanddollars, subject to a first mortgage of twenty-five thousand dollars, and a second mortgage of ninety-two hundred and fifty dollars. Thatleaves eighty-seven hundred and fifty dollars balance, ain't it?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Then this here Sammet is to pay seven hundred and fifty dollars cash onsigning the contract and eight thousand dollars on closing the title, "Uncle Mosha declared; "and the exception is that you should take care ofthe eight thousand dollars, but the seven hundred and fifty dollarsbelongs to me and I could do what I like with it. "

For ten minutes Aaron argued with his uncle in front of Sammet Brothers'building, but all to no purpose, for Uncle Mosha remained unmoved. Either he was to receive the seven hundred and fifty dollars on thesigning of the contract or the entire deal was off; and at length heprevailed. 

"All right, " Aaron said, "you shall have the seven hundred and fifty, but one thing you must got to do. When we go into Leon Sammet's loft Iwant you to let me and Leon speak a few words, something alone together. Are you agreeable?"

"Sure, why not?" Uncle Mosha agreed. "You got to work the feller up tobuying the house, ain't yer?"

Aaron nodded gloomily as they entered the elevator, and when it stoppedat Sammet Brothers' floor he strode out So rapidly that Uncle Mosha, whohad never before visited Sammet Brothers', hardly noticed his nephew'sexit. Before he could follow Aaron the elevator attendant slammed thedoor, and it was not reopened until Uncle Mosha had expressed hisagitation in a burst of spirited profanity. 

"Did you see that, Aaron?" he exclaimed after he had caught up to hisnephew. "I come pretty close to getting killed just now in that thereelevator. "

"Why don't you keep your eyes open?" Aaron asked callously. "Now you sitdown here and wait until I am coming out. "

He entered Leon Sammet's private office, and as soon as Uncle Moshafound himself alone in the showroom he clenched the butt of his cigarbetween his yellow teeth and explored his pockets for pencil andpaper. Having found them, he was soon plunged in a maze of figuresrepresenting the profit in going short of seven hundred shares on aone-point margin, assuming that the market dropped eight points in tendays. 

"Hallo, Aaron, " Leon Sammet cried when he caught sight of the youngerKronberg. 

Aaron nodded, with half-closed eyes. 

"Sit down, Aaron, " Leon continued; "you look worried. "

"I bet yer, " Aaron replied. "What d'ye think of that sucker?"

"What's Alex been doing now?" Leon asked. 

"Alex! What d'ye mean, Alex?" Aaron said. "Alex I ain't worrying aboutat all. I mean Uncle Mosha Kronberg. "

Forthwith he unfolded to Leon the sum of his uncle's iniquities, sparingno detail of his own well-nigh ruined prospects and ending with anaccount of Uncle Mosha's interrupted deal with Morris Perlmutter. 

Leon slammed the top of his desk with his open hand. 

"Before I would let that shark, Perlmutter, get the house I would buy itmyself. "

"Sure, I know!" Aaron replied. "I thought you would, Leon; but thatain't necessary. All I want you to do is this, Leon. I told the oldman I could get you to buy the house for forty-three thousanddollars. "

"Forty-three thousand?" Leon exclaimed. "Why that house ain't worthforty-three thousand!"

"What do I care what it's worth?" Aaron replied. "The game is this, Leon. You will buy the house for me--Aaron--with my money. You got topay seven hundred and fifty cash on signing the contract, and thebalance of eight thousand dollars above the mortgages you got to paywhen the title is closed. I fixed it with the old man that he is to giveme the eight thousand dollars to take care of for him--see? So, when thetitle is closed I will give you eight thousand dollars to give Mosha, and Mosha will turn it back to me; and, Leon, if he ever sees that eightthousand dollars again it won't be this side of the grave. "

Leon nodded. 

"Meantime you've got the house, " he said. 

"Exactly, " Aaron replied. "I get the house. All it cost me is sevenhundred and fifty dollars cash, and I also get unloaded on me for therest of his life the old man. And while I don't wish him any harm, y'understand, _Gott soll hüten_ anything should happen to him Leon, itcouldn't come too soon for me. "

"I bet yer, " Leon said fervently. "And now let's get him in here andwe'll all go down to Henry D. Feldman's office and fix the matter up. "

Two hours later Leon and Uncle Mosha had signed a contract for the saleof the Madison Street house, title to be closed and deed to be deliveredwithin thirty days. The purchase price was stated to be forty-threethousand dollars, payable as follows: thirty-four thousand two hundredand fifty dollars by the vendee taking the house subject to mortgagesaggregating that amount, seven hundred and fifty dollars cash on signingthe contract, and the balance of eight thousand dollars in cash orcertified check at the closing of the title. 

Prior to leaving his office Leon had cashed Aaron Kronberg's check forseven hundred and fifty dollars, and the money, in bills of largedenomination, was turned over to Mosha Kronberg, who tucked themcarefully away in his breast pocket. 

"Well, Aaron, " he said after the operation was completed, "I guess I'llbe going back to Madison Street. "

"Wait; I'll go along with you, " Aaron cried. 

"Don't you trouble yourself, " Uncle Mosha declared with a confidentialwink at Leon Sammet and Henry D. Feldman; "I could take care of myselfall right. "

"What are you going to do with all that money, Mr. Kronberg?" Leon askedas Uncle Mosha turned to leave. The old man paused with his hand on thedoor, and once more he favoured his questioner with a significant wink. 

"Leave that to me, " he said. 

The thirty days succeeding Morris Perlmutter's visit to Madison Streetwere busy ones for all the Kronbergs. Alex had accompanied Max Gershonto Bridgetown, where conditions more than fulfilled Abe's glowingaccount, and the formation of the Kronberg-Gershon Drygoods Companyproceeded without delay. As for Aaron Kronberg, he found that theborrowing of eight thousand dollars, even for so short a period as wouldbe necessary to consummate the Madison Street deal, was no easy task. Atlength he raised the sum by paying a large bonus to his bankers in PortSullivan, and it was deposited to the credit of Sammet Brothers fourdays before the closing of title. 

Meantime Uncle Mosha had not neglected the opportunity afforded himduring his last few days of liberty. With his seven hundred and fiftydollars he had sought the brokerage offices of Klinkberg & Company themorning after signing his contract with Leon Sammet. There he selectedAmerican Chocolate and Cocoa as the medium of his speculation andpromptly went short of seven hundred on a one-point margin. The sameafternoon he was within a sixteenth of being wiped out when the marketturned, and nearly one month later he took his profit of twenty-onehundred dollars, which with the original investment, minus the brokerageamounted to twenty-eight hundred dollars. 

"Never no more, " he said to the brokerage firm's cashier as he drewhis profit. "I am through oncet and for all. No one could get me totouch another share of stock so long as I live. "

With this solemn declaration he passed out of Klinkberg & Company'soffice just as a short stout man burst into the hall from a door marked"Customers. "

"Wow!" the short stout man exclaimed. 

"_Warum_ wow?" Uncle Mosha asked. 

"Amalgamated Refineries goes up four points on six sales in half anhour, " the short stout man replied, "and I win two thousand. "

The short stout man started down the hall and executed a fantasticdancing step in front of the elevators, while Uncle Mosha entered thedoor marked "Customers. "

"Mr. Klinkberg, " he said, handing Klinkberg & Company's two thousandeight hundred dollar check to that firm's senior partner, "buy me onethousand shares Amalgamated Refineries at the market. "

An hour later he walked leisurely along Madison Street, and as heapproached his own doorway Aaron Kronberg swooped down upon him. 

"Uncle Mosha, " he almost screamed, "where was you?"

"Where was I?" Uncle Mosha replied. "Why, I was where I was. That'swhere I was. What difference does it make to you where I was?"

"What difference does it make to me?" Aaron cried. "Ain't I putting upthe--er--don't you know you was due at Henry D. Feldman's office toclose your title at one o'clock?--and here it is half-past one already!"

For a minute Uncle Mosha's face fell. In the excitement of following theprofitable course of his speculation he had completely forgotten hisreal estate transaction, but he quickly recovered his composure. 

"Oh, well, " he said, "let 'em wait! The house won't run away, Aaron. Let's go and get a cup coffee somewheres. "

"Coffee, nothing!" Aaron growled; "you're coming right along with me. Igot a carriage waiting for you. "

He hustled the old man into a decrepit conveyance that was drawn up tothe curb and they started immediately for Henry D. Feldman's office. 

"Honest, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha sighed, "I feel like I was riding to my ownfuneral. "

"Don't worry, Uncle Mosha, " Aaron said; "with the _tzuris_ which I gotit lately you would quicker ride to mine. "

"Well, Aaron, " Uncle Mosha rejoined, "as old man Baum used to say, weall got to die sooner or later, Aaron; and all we could take with us isour good name. "

"You wouldn't got to pay no excess baggage rates on that, " Aaron saidas the carriage came to a stop in front of Feldman's office building. 

Two minutes later they entered the offices of Henry D. Feldman and wereushered immediately into the presence of that distinguished advocatehimself. As they passed through the doorway Feldman rose from his seat. He was not alone, for at one side of a long library table sat LeonSammet, while opposite to him a tall, sandy-haired person methodicallyarranged various bundles of papers which he drew out of capaciouspasteboard envelopes. 

"Ah, gentlemen, you're here at last, " Feldman cried. "Mr. Jones, this isMr. Kronberg and his nephew, Mr. Aaron Kronberg. Mr. Jones is arepresentative of the Land Insurance & Title Guarantee Company, who atmy request has examined the title to your house, Mr. Kronberg. "

"All right, " Uncle Mosha said; "I ain't scared of 'em. I owned the housesince 1890 already--that's pretty near twenty years, and I ain't paid noConfederate money for it neither. "

Mr. Jones cleared his throat noisily, and as he did so a round whiteobject leaped from beneath his collar and bumped against his chin. Itwas his Adam's apple. 

"Did you say you owned the house twenty years?" he inquired in tones ofsuch profundity that Feldman was obliged to ask him to repeat hisquestion. At the second repetition Uncle Mosha said that it might be amonth less than twenty years. 

"The record shows that you bought the house a little more than nineteenyears ago, " Mr. Jones continued--his manner suggested a hanging judge inthe act of assuming the black cap--"and therefore you could claim noadverse possession, even assuming there were no disabilities. "

"What d'ye mean, claim?" Uncle Mosha asked with asperity. "I don't claimnothing. I already got seven hundred and fifty dollars and there iscoming to me eight thousand dollars more. "

"I think, Mr. Jones, " Feldman interrupted, "I ought to explain to Mr. Kronberg the _locus in quo_. "

Aaron Kronberg turned pale and wiped a few drops of perspiration fromhis forehead. 

"What is there to explain, Mr. Feldman?" he broke in. "Go ahead andclose the title to the property. I couldn't sit here all day. "

"There's a great deal to be explained, " Feldman continued. "He is unableto convey good title to the property _non constat_ he received a deed ofit in 1890. "

"I never heard tell of the feller at all, " Uncle Mosha exclaimed. "I amthe only one which received a deed of the property. "

Feldman gazed at Uncle Mosha for one dazed moment and then proceeded. 

"The last owner in Mr. Kronberg's claim of title--I mean his immediatevendor--was the only surviving collateral of an intestate, " he said. 

"That's where you make a big mistake, " Uncle Mosha interrupted. "Thefeller which I bought the house from was a salesman for a shirtconcern. "

Feldman glared at Uncle Mosha and was about to crush him with a flood oflaw Latin when the door opened. 

"You got to excuse me for butting in, Mr. Feldman, " said a harsh voicewhich presently was seen to issue from the person of Morris Perlmutter, "but me and my partner is got to get back to the store and Max and hispartner is also busy to-day. "

"I'll be with you in just one moment, Mr. Perlmutter, " Feldman replied. 

"You says that an hour ago, " Morris grumbled as he closed the doorbehind him. 

"Now, Mr. Kronberg, " Feldman continued, "I'd like to elucidate thissituation for you as succinctly as possible. "

"Do that afterward, if you got to do it, " Uncle Mosha broke in; "butjust now tell me what the trouble is. "

"What's the use talking to a mutt that don't understand the Englishlanguage at all?" Feldman cried. "Listen here to me. You bought yourhouse from a fellow called Nathan Baum. "

"Sure, I did, " Uncle Mosha said. "You remember him, Sammet? He went towork and got killed in a railroad accident ten years ago already. "

"Don't interrupt, " Feldman cried. "Nathan Baum was the brother of MaxBaum, a former owner of the house. Max Baum died while he owned thehouse and he left no will, and Nathan Baum claimed the house as the onlyheir of Max Baum. "

"That's right, " Mosha agreed. "Nathan Baum was the only relative in theworld which Max Baum got it. He had a sister, but she died before Max. "

"Was Max Baum's sister ever married?" Mr. Jones asked in funerealaccents. 

"Sure she was married, " Mosha answered. "She was married to Sam Gershon. He works for years by Richter as a cutter. Sam is dead too. "

"Did they ever have any children?" Mr. Jones inquired. 

"One boy they had, " Uncle Mosha said. "Shall I ever forget it? What abeautiful boy that was, Mr. Feldman--a regular picture! Mrs. Gershonthinks a whole lot of that boy, too, I bet yer. "

"Never mind the trimmings, Kronberg, " Feldman broke in. "Is the boyalive?"

"That's what we're anxious to know, " Mr. Jones interrupted. "My companyhad ascertained that there was one son, but we couldn't find out if hewere dead or alive. "

"If the boy was alive Mrs. Gershon would be alive too, " Mosha said. "Mrs. Gershon died on account of that boy. What a lovely boy that was! Ican see him now--the way he looked. He had eyes black like coal, anda----"

Here Uncle Mosha stopped short. His jaw dropped and his fishy gray eyesseemed to start from his head as he gazed at the door. It stood ajarsome six inches and exposed the features of a person impatient to thepoint of frenzy. 

"Ex-cuse me, Mr. Feldman!" said the intruder; "I may be a Rube fromTexas, y'understand, but I got my feelings too, and unless you come inhere right away and close the matter up me and my partner would go andget our agreement fixed up somewhere else again. "

"I'll be with you in just one moment, Mr. Gershon, " Feldman replied. 

"Gershon?" Uncle Mosha muttered. "Gershon!"

He rose to his feet and tottered across the room toward the doorway, butat the threshold his strength failed him and he fell headlong to thefloor. 

In the scene of confusion that followed only Henry D. Feldman remainedcalm. He touched the electric button on his desk. 

"Go down to the Algonquin Building and fetch a doctor, " he said to theoffice-boy who responded, "and on your way out see if we have anyblank petitions for administration in the Surrogate's Court. If wehaven't, buy a couple on your way back. The old man may not pullthrough. "

When Uncle Mosha's eyes opened in consciousness of his surroundings theyrested on Max Gershon, who bent over the old man as anxiously as dideither of his nephews. 

"Max Gershon, ain't it?" Uncle Mosha asked feebly. 

Gershon nodded. 

"You shouldn't try to talk, " he said. 

"I'm all right, " Uncle Mosha replied. "I need only a cup coffee. IfAaron would let me got it before I come here this wouldn't never ofhappened. "

Aaron recognized the justice of his uncle's criticism by personallyseeking a nearby restaurant, and after an interval of ten minutes, during which Abe and Morris took turns with Max and Alex in fanning thepatient, he returned with a pot of steaming coffee. Uncle Mosha drankthree cups in rapid succession and heaved a great sigh. 

"You ain't got maybe a cigar about you, Max?" he said. 

"Smoke this, Uncle Mosha, " Alex Kronberg cried, pulling a large satinyinvincible from his waistcoat pocket and thrusting it at his uncle. Forone hesitating minute the old man looked from Alex to the cigar, but atlast its glossy perfection overcame his scruples. 

"Much obliged, Alex, " he said. 

"That's all right, " Alex mumbled as he struck a match. "How do you feelnow, uncle?"

"First rate, " Uncle Mosha replied as he blew out great clouds of smoke;"although I ought to feel a whole lot worse, Alex, when I see MaxieGershon here. Twenty-five years ago I seen him last and he looks thesame fat-faced feller with the black eyes. Only to think he now comesback and takes away half my house from me. "

"I ain't come back to do no such thing!" Max cried. "I could assure you, Mr. Kronberg, although me and Alex Kronberg is going as partnerstogether, I never knew until I seen you here that you was any relationof his. As for your house, Mr. Kronberg, I don't know nothing about itat all. "

"Don't you?" Uncle Mosha exclaimed. "Well, I'll tell you. It's likethis. "

"_Stigun!_" Aaron hissed. "Don't open your mouth, Uncle Mosha. "

"What d'ye mean, don't open my mouth?" Uncle Mosha retorted. "D'ye thinkI'm a crook? If I got a house which it don't belong to me at all, then Idon't want it. "

He turned his back on Aaron and straightway he narrated the fullcircumstances surrounding his purchase of the Madison Street house. 

"Certainly I ain't no lawyer nor nothing, " he continued, "but when oldMax Baum died you was due to get just as much as your Uncle Nathan outof his estate, and if Nathan Baum swindled me out of my money byclaiming he owns the whole thing that couldn't give me no right to yourshare, ain't it?"

Max nodded. 

"Then what ain't mine I don't want at all, " Uncle Mosha continued; "andso, Maxie, you and me gives Leon Sammet here a deed of the house andLeon pays us the balance of eight thousand dollars. Out of that you getfour thousand three hundred and seventy-five dollars, because me, Ialready got seven hundred and fifty dollars. Are you agreeable to fix itthat way, Sammet?"

Leon looked at Aaron Kronberg, who was gulping convulsively in an effortto express adequately all he felt. At length he commenced to address hisuncle in husky tones. 

"You cut-throat!" he croaked. "You robber, you! You shed my blood! Giveme back my seven hundred and fifty dollars. "

"Your seven hundred and fifty!" Uncle Mosha exclaimed. 

"That's what I said, " Aaron went on. His voice rose to a hoarse screamas he proceeded. "Did you think any one else would give forty-threethousand dollars for that dawg-house but me? Sammet ain't got nothing todo with it; he's only a dummy. "

"So!" Leon Sammet said bitterly. "I am only a dummy, am I?"

"Wait _one_ minute!" Uncle Mosha cried. "Do you mean to told me, Mr. Sammet, that you was buying this here house for Aaron?"

"Well, that's about the size of it, " Leon admitted. 

"Then what are you kicking about?" Uncle Mosha said. "You are a dummy. "

Throughout the moving scenes of that entire afternoon Leon had acted thepart of disinterested onlooker to the point of lethargy, but now hefairly glared at Uncle Mosha. 

"I don't got to stay here to be called names, " he said. 

"My trouble's what you got to stay here for, " Uncle Mosha retorted. "Yes, boys; what d'ye think for a highwayman like that Aaron Kronberg?"

Aaron blushed a fiery red. 

"Come on, Leon, " he said. "Let's get out of this. "

"Hold on!" Max Gershon shouted. "Don't you do nothing of the kind, Sammet. Me and Mr. Mosha Kronberg we own this here house together, andhe made a contract with you to sell you this here house which I standby. Do you want to take it _oder_ not? Because if not, we would keepyour seven hundred and fifty dollars. "

Leon Sammet emitted a huge guffaw. 

"That worries me a whole lot, " he replied. "As Aaron just told you, theseven hundred and fifty belongs to him. "

"Very true, " Feldman interrupted, "but it was you who engaged me toexamine the title, Mr. Sammet, and my fees and disbursements in thismatter amount to five hundred dollars. "

Leon Sammet sat down again. 

"Come on, Leon, " Aaron cried. "What are you waiting for?"

"Do you mean to told me, Mr. Feldman, I owe you five hundred dollars?"Leon asked. 

"Five hundred and eight dollars and forty-two cents to be exact, " saidFeldman, crunching a slip of paper. 

"Then all I got to say is, " Leon declared, "I got here a certified checkfor eight thousand dollars which Aaron Kronberg gives me, and I wouldsure hold it until he secures me against your bill. "

"Say, lookyhere, boys, " Alex Kronberg said at length, "I've beenlistening to all this here Megillah and I ain't said a word nor nothing. But I'll tell you what I'll do. It's a cinch that Uncle Mosha won't goto live with Aaron now, so I'll take him to live with me. "

"I am agreeable, " said Uncle Mosha. 

"Furthermore, " Alex continued, "Uncle Mosha and Max will keep the house. I will also pay Mr. Feldman his five hundred dollars and take it out ofthe seven hundred and fifty which Aaron paid Uncle Mosha. The balance oftwo hundred and fifty Aaron shall have back again. "

"I am content, " Uncle Mosha replied. "I don't want none of Aaron'smoney; and you could take it from me, Alex, Aaron would never see noneof my money. "

"And now, gentlemen, let us fix up this copartnership agreement, " MaxGershon said as Aaron Kronberg slunk out of the office, followed by LeonSammet. "Mr. Potash and Mr. Perlmutter have wasted pretty near the wholeafternoon here. "

"That's all right, " Abe said. "I don't consider we wasted any time. Manya night I threw away four dollars taking a customer on the theayter yet, when the show wasn't near so good as what we seen it this afternoon; andthe customer ain't bought no goods off me anyhow. "

"Don't you worry yourself about that, Abe!" Max cried. "You got a coupleof customers at this show which they would buy goods from you so long aswe are in business, and don't you forget it. Ain't I right, Alex?"

Alex nodded. 

"Come on, Uncle Mosha, " he said. "Come inside with us and see thisthrough. "

"I'll wait out here, " Uncle Mosha replied. "I got enough excitement forone afternoon. "

He waited until Mr. Jones, of the title company, had packed up hispapers, and then after Henry D. Feldman had followed the others into theadjoining room and had closed the door behind him, Uncle Mosha touchedthe button on Feldman's desk. 

"Go out and buy for me an evening paper, " he said to the boy whoresponded. 

"Say, " the boy replied, "there was a doctor waiting to see you for morethan half an hour. "

"Tell him to wait a little longer yet, " Mosha rejoined. "I may got tohave him after I am seeing the paper. "

"He ain't here now, " the boy said. "He went away and says you shouldsend him a check for five dollars. "

"I hope he don't need the money for nothing particular, " Uncle Moshacommented; "on account he stands a good show to be disappointed. Hurryup with the paper. "

Ten minutes afterward the boy returned. He handed an evening paper toUncle Mosha, who hastily planted a pair of pince-nez on his broad, flatnose and folded back the financial page. 

"Now let's give a look, " he murmured to himself as he glanced hastily atthe column marked "The Stock Market. "

At the head of the list appeared the following item:

 Sales Highest Lowest Closing Net Ch'g 45100 Amal. Ref. 46-5/8 38-1/2 38-1/8 --4-1/8

"Wiped again!" he muttered as he dropped the paper to the floor. 

Half an hour later, when Alex and Max Gershon came out of theadjoining room with the copartnership agreement duly executed, theyfound Uncle Mosha calmly smoking the last of his cigar while he ponderedover the "News for Investors" column. The tabulated list of quotationswas not unnoticed by Max as he felt for another cigar to present to theold man. 

"Do you ever speculate in Wall Street, Mr. Kronberg?" he asked. 

"Oncet upon a time I used to, " Uncle Mosha replied, "but never no more, Maxie. It's a game which you couldn't beat--take it from me, Maxie--notif you was a hundred times so smart as Old Man Baum. "

 * * * * *

"Well, Abe, " Morris Perlmutter remarked as they sat in their showroomten days after the events above noted, "I did mix up in Alex Kronberg'sfamily matters and, with all your croaking, what is the result? Alex hasgot a good partner; Uncle Mosha has got a good home, and ourselves wegot a good order for three thousand dollars, which otherwise we wouldn'tgot at all. "

"What are you talking nonsense, Mawruss?" Abe said. "Things wouldn'tturned out the way they did if it wouldn't be I met Max Gershon inHammersmith's. That's what started it, Mawruss. "

"Nothing of the kind, Abe, " Morris retorted. "What started it, Abe, wasme when I went down to Madison Street and give Uncle Mosha that cigar, Abe. I tell you, Abe, it's an old saying and a true one: Throw away aloaf of bread in the water, y'understand, and sooner or later, Abe, itwould come home like chickens to roost. "

CHAPTER FOUR

THE RAINCOAT KING

"The table is all right, Mawruss, " Abe Potash remarked as he consultedthe timecard of the Long Island Railroad one hot July afternoon. "Thetable is all right; I ain't kicking about the table, y'understand, butthe class of people which they stay in the house, Mawruss, is pretty_schlecht_. My Rosie couldn't get along with 'em at all. "

"You don't tell me!" Morris replied. "Riesenberger's is got a bigreputation, Abe, and when me and Minnie stayed there two years ago therewas an elegant class of people stopping in the house. Would you believeme, Abe, I tried to get up a game of auction pinocle there and Icouldn't do it! Nobody would play less than a dollar a hundred. I'msurprised to hear the place is run down so. "

"Oh, if the house's got a big reputation for auction pinocle, Mawruss, then that's something else again! They play just as high as formertimes. Sidney Koblin lost forty dollars last night. With my own eyes Iseen it, Mawruss; and his father looks on and don't say nothing. "

"What does Max Koblin care for forty dollars, Abe?" Morris said. "Thefeller's a millionaire. He's got ten pages of advertising in the _Cloakand Suit Monthly Gazette_. I bet yer he spends more as forty dollars forone page already. Wait; I'll show it to you. "

Morris opened the green-covered periodical and displayed a full-page"ad. "

 MAX KOBLIN KING OF RAINCOATS

 "KOBLINETTE, " THE RAINSHED FABRIC

 WEST 20TH STREET NEW YORK

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe commented. "He was always a big faker, thatfeller. Twenty years since already I used to eat by Gifkin's on CanalStreet, and one day Max Koblin comes in and says to me, 'Abe, ' he says, 'I want you should drink a bottle tchampanyer wine on me. ' In them daysMax works for old man Zudosky selling boys' reefers. Raincoats was likeoitermobiles; no one had discovered 'em yet. 'What's the matter, Max?' Isays. 'Old man Zudosky given you a raise?' I says. 'Raise nothing, ' Maxsays. 'I got a boy up to my house. ' 'So, ' I says, 'just because yougot a boy, Max, I should got a headache and neglect my business?' Isays. 'An idee!' I says. 'Take the dollar and a quarter, Max, ' I says, 'and put it in the savings bank, and every time you give the boy a pennymake him put it away with the other money, ' I says; 'and the first thingyou know, Max, ' I says, 'when the boy gets to be twenty years old he'sgot anyhow a couple hundred dollars in the savings bank. '"

"And what did Max say?" Morris asked. 

"He laughs at me, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "He says to me, 'when that boygets to be twenty years old he wouldn't need to got to have a couplehundred dollars in the savings bank. I could give him all the money hewants it. '"

"Well, Max was right, ain't it?" Morris rejoined. "He could give the boyall the money he wants. "

"Money ain't everything what that boy wants, Mawruss, " Abe said. "A good_potch_ on the side of the head oncet in a while is what that boy wants. So fresh that young feller is, Mawruss, you wouldn't believe it at all. Actually he runs an oitermobile what Max bought it for him for fifteenhundred dollars, a birthday present, besides the other big car whichKoblin got it. Max _oser_ runs oitermobiles at Sidney's age. Piece goodson a pooshcart from old man Zudosky's to the sponger's was all theoitermobiling Max done it. To-day they are putting on style yet. Suckers!"

"Well, say, Abe, " Morris protested, "what is it skin off your nosesupposing Max does buy oitermobiles for the boy? This is a free country, Abe. "

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe declared, as he revealed the nub of thewhole matter; "and supposing my Rosie don't play poker, which, _Gott seidank_, she couldn't tell a king from an ace, what is that Mrs. Koblin'sbusiness? She ain't supposed to know that, Mawruss, and yet she didn'tinvite my Rosie to her poker party. Rosie wouldn't of gone anyhow, Mawruss; but that ain't the point. Ain't my Rosie just as good as Mrs. Klinger _oder_ Mrs. Elenbogen? Particularly Mrs. Elenbogen, which, threeyears ago even, Kleiman & Elenbogen was still rated ten to fifteenthousand, third credit. Only in the last two years they are coming upso; and the way that Mrs. Elenbogen acts, you would think her husbandgot a bank in Frankfort-am-Main when Rothschild was a new beginner yet. Such fakers as them is too good for my Rosie, Mawruss. An idee!"

"What do you worry yourself about women's fighting, Abe?" Morris asked. 

"Me worry myself, Mawruss!" Abe cried. "I much care for them people, Mawruss. I am married to my Rosie now going on twenty-six years, will benext May, and if I didn't know that she's got it on every one of themcows in looks, in refinement and in every which way, Mawruss, then Icould worry, Mawruss. As it is, Mawruss, for my part they could playpoker till they are black in the face--what is it my business? I gotenough to attend to here in the store, Mawruss, without I should bothermyself. "

"I bet yer!" Morris agreed fervently. "That reminds me, Abe, Shapolnikis leaving us on Saturday. "

"Well, Mawruss, I couldn't exactly break my heart about that, y'understand?" Abe replied, "Skirt-cutters you could always get plentyof 'em. What's the matter he ain't satisfied?"

"Nothing's the matter, " Morris said. "He is simply going into the pantsbusiness. His brother-in-law is got a small place downtown and he isgoing as partners together with him. They ought to make a success of ittoo, Abe, if nerve would got anything to do with it. The feller actuallywants me I should give him an introduction to Feder of the KosciuskoBank. "

"Sure; why not?" Abe commented. 

"Why not?" Morris repeated. "What would Feder think of us if we arebringing a yokel like Shapolnik into his office? The feller ain't beentwo years in the country yet. "

"Don't knock a feller like Shapolnik just because he ain't putting on nofront nor throwing no bluffs, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "It's the fakerwith the four-carat diamond pin which is doing his creditors, Mawruss, but the yokel with the soup on his coat pays a hundred cents on thedollar every time. "

Half an hour later Abe conducted his retiring skirt-cutter to the FifthAvenue branch of the Kosciusko Bank, and as they approached the cornerof Nineteenth Street on their return they encountered Max Koblin, theRaincoat King. He was about to enter the tonneau of an automobile, whileSidney Koblin, the Heir Apparent, sat at the tiller arrayed in a silkduster and goggles. Max grinned maliciously as he noted Abe's shabby, bearded companion. 

"Always entertaining the out-of-town trade, Abe?" he said. 

Abe relaxed his features in what he intended for a smile, but afterwardhe turned to Shapolnik with a scowl. 

"Only one thing I got to tell you, Shapolnik, " he declared. "Nowadays, if a feller wants to make a success he must got to wear good clothes andlook like a _mensch_, y'understand? It never harms in business, Shapolnik, that a feller should throw sometimes, oncet in a while, alittle bluff. "

 * * * * *

Between the ages of sixteen and twenty Sidney Koblin had so often testedthe maxim, "Boys will be boys, " that Max Koblin's patience at lengthbecame exhausted. "Do you mean to told me you ain't got one cent leftfrom that forty I gave you on Saturday?" Max asked on the Mondaymorning following Shapolnik's resignation. 

"Aw, what's biting you?" Sidney cried. "You sat behind me last night andif it wouldn't been for you I wouldn't of played that last four-hundredhand at all. Cost forty-eight dollars, that advice of yours. "

This was a facer, to be sure, and Max paused before formulating arejoinder. 

"In the first place, Sidney, " he began, "you didn't got no right to leadno trump. I told you before lots of times, if you got the extra ten, getrid of your meld first. And in the second place, Sidney, I wouldn'tstand for your extravagance no longer. It's time you turned around andattended to business. "

"Aw, you never give me no show!" Sidney protested. "You keep memonkeying around while other young fellers is out on the road. Look atMortie Savin and all them boys. "

"Sure, I know, " Max rejoined. "They got heads on 'em. You couldn't addup eight figures together, and at your age for a feller to write a handlike that, Sidney----"

"What are you kicking about?" Sidney exclaimed. "When you was my age youcouldn't sign your name even. "

"Well, that ain't here nor there, Sidney, " Max replied as he pulled abill from the roll which he produced from his trousers pocket. "Hereis ten dollars and that's got to last you till Saturday night. D'yeunderstand?"

Sidney grunted as he tucked the bill into his waistcoat. He had heardthe same ultimatum once a week for the past two years, and he whistledcheerfully as he despatched one of the stock boys for a package ofcigarettes. An hour later he lunched at Hammersmith's, while Abe Potashsat at an adjacent table. As he consumed a modest portion of_rostbraten_, Abe noted with a disapproving eye the cherry-stone clams, green-turtle soup and _filet Chateaubriand_ which formed the menu of theHeir Apparent; and when the latter topped off his meal with half a pintof dry champagne and a _café parfait_ Abe seized his hat and fairly ranfrom the restaurant. 

"If nobody would tell that feller Koblin what a lowlife bum he got itfor a son, Mawruss, " he said as he entered the firm's private office tenminutes later, "I will. Actually with my own eyes I seen it--the fellereats for five dollars a lunch, and he ain't with a customer nornothing. "

"What is it your business what Sidney Koblin is eating, Abe?" Morrisrejoined. "If you wouldn't notice every mouthful the feller puts in hisface at all you would be back here a whole lot sooner. There's a fellerwaiting for you in the showroom over half an hour since. "

"Who is he?" Abe asked. 

"I think it's that Mr. --Who's this, from Seattle, which he was in herelast fall and nearly bought from us them polo coats? I couldn't tell hisface exactly, but you remember what a swell dresser that feller was. "

Abe peered through the screen that divided the rooms. 

"I think you're right, Mawruss, " he said. 

"I couldn't remember his name, " Morris added, "and that's why I didn'ttalk much to him. All I says was you would be in soon; and I give him acigar from the safe. "

Abe nodded and walked hurriedly out of the office. As he approached hiscaller he extended his right hand. 

"How do you do?" he exclaimed, as he shook his visitor warmly by the hand. "You're looking fine. "

The visitor smiled in return. 

"I thought you were going to tell me that, " he replied. 

"Yes, indeed! You're looking a whole lot better than the last time Iseen you, " Abe said. "When did you get in?"

"I am here now going on half an hour already. "

"Well, why didn't you talk to my partner?" Abe asked. "He could fix youup just as well as me. "

"I did talk to him, " the newcomer replied, "but he is too stuck up totalk to me at all. "

"Stuck up!" Abe exclaimed, with a note of real anguish in his tones. "Stuck up! Why, you don't know my partner at all, Mister--er--excuse me, do you got a card?"

The stranger drew a card from his waistcoat pocket and with a proudgesture handed it to Abe. It read as follows:

 Z. KATZBERG I. SCHAPP KATZBERG & SCHAPP FINE PANTS 530 WEST WASHINGTON PLACE NEW YORK

"I am taking your advice, Mr. Potash, " he said. "I am taking your adviceall round. I cut 'em off. "

"You cut what off?" Abe asked. 

"The whiskers, Mr. Potash. Also I am making short the name. In RusslandShapolnik is all right, Mr. Potash; but if a feller wants to make asuccess in business he should be a little up to date, ain't it?"

The cordial smile faded from Abe's face as he recognized his visitor. 

"There's such a thing as being too much up to date, Shapolnik, " he said. "You ain't got no right to fool my partner like that. Me, you couldn'tfool for a minute. Right away I says to myself, 'Here is a fellerwhich he wants to ask us something we should do him for a favour. ' So, spit it out, Shapolnik. What is it you want from us?"

"Well, it's like this, Mr. Potash, " Shapolnik began. "Me and my partnerwe are wanting to take on somebody for a drummer, y'understand. We mustgot it some one which he is already got a trade. _Aber_ he couldn't askfor too much money at the start on account we are going slow. If youknow some young feller which he wants the job me and my partner would bemuch obliged, Mr. Potash. "

"What d'ye think we are running here anyway, Shapolnik, " Aberetorted--"an employment agency?"

"I am just taking chances might you would know somebody, maybe, "Shapolnik murmured as he rose to his feet. He seemed much relieved atAbe's refusal. "And I hope you don't think I am doing something out ofthe way. You know, Mr. Potash, me and my partner we think a whole lot ofyour judgment, and if you would give us an advice we are willing weshould follow it. "

"Well, I ain't mad at you, Shapolnik, " Abe said more mildly; "but allthe same, if you want to get a drummer you got a right to advertise forone. "

"We would do so, " Shapolnik replied, "and if you would be in our_Nachbarschaft_ oncet in a while, Mr. Potash, me and my partner wouldconsider it an honour if you are dropping in to see us. We only got asmall place, Mr. Potash. " He paused and fingered the texture of hiswaistcoat. "But everything will be up to date, Mr. Potash, " heconcluded, "just like you advised us to. "

Abe watched his late skirt-cutter disappear into the elevator, and thenhe returned to the office where Morris impatiently awaited him. 

"_Nu_, Abe, " Morris cried as he entered. 

"Yes, Mawruss, " Abe said with cutting emphasis: "good cigars don't carewho smokes 'em. I suppose if Nathan, the shipping clerk, would come inhere with a collar and tie on and a clean shave, you would want to blowhim to a bottle of tchampanyer wine yet. Just because a feller shavesoff his beard and buys himself a new suit of clothes you couldn'trecognize him at all. That was Shapolnik which just went out of here. "

"Shapolnik!" Morris exclaimed. "That dude was Shapolnik? Well, what d'yethink for a crook like that!"

"Crooked Shapolnik ain't exactly, " Abe interrupted; "but it should be alesson to you, Mawruss, that you wouldn't be so free with our cigars. All the feller wants from us is we should recommend him a drummer. "

"The nerve the feller got it!" Morris cried. "He comes around herethrowing bluffs he needs a drummer yet. A new beginner like him ain'tgoing to hire no drummer, Abe. I bet yer he takes his pants under hisarms and sees them Fourteenth Street buyers on his way downtown in themorning. He ain't got no more use for a drummer than I got it for anairship. "

"My _tzuris_ if he has or he hasn't!" Abe exclaimed. "I anyhow told himhe should advertise for one, as we are not running an employment agencyhere, Mawruss; and so, Mawruss, let's get busy on that order forGriesman. I want to get away from here sure at five o'clock to-day. Whatis the good I am staying down at Riesenberger's if I never get a show totake oncet in a while a sea bath, maybe?"

Nevertheless it was ten minutes past five before Abe boarded a crosstowncar; and, although he made a wild sprint from the ferry landing on theLong Island side, he arrived at the trainshed just in time to see therear platform of the five-forty-five for Arverne disappearing in a cloudof black smoke. 

He returned to the waiting room, and as he was sadly inspecting theouter pages of the comic periodicals displayed in the news-stand a heavyhand clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Hello, Abe!" cried a hearty voice, and Abe turned to view theperspiring features of Max Koblin, the Raincoat King. Abe returned thesalutation without much enthusiasm. 

"Why ain't you going down in the oitermobile, Max?" he asked. "Millionaires ain't got no excuse for missing trains like ordinarypeople. "

Max laughed in an embarrassed fashion. 

"Millionaires is got their troubles too, Abe, " he said. "Even when theyain't millionaires. "

"I should have your trouble!" Abe commented. 

"I got enough, Abe, believe me, " Max rejoined. "Everything I got to lookafter myself. My credit man leaves me next week; and I got other worriesbesides that one, too. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe said as they started for the smoker of the six-ten;"and the biggest one you got only yourself to blame for it. "

"What d'ye mean, Abe?" Max asked. 

"I mean this, Max, " Abe declared. "I am knowing you now since twentyyears already, and if I am butting in you could know it ain't because Iam fresh, y'understand, but because I got your interests at heart. Thatboy of yours goes too far, Max. "

Max drew a cigar from his waistcoat pocket and carefully bit off theend. "How so?" he inquired. 

"Well, in a whole lot of ways, Max, " Abe continued, after they wereseated; "and mind you, I know it ain't none of my business, Max, butwhen I see that boy come into Hammersmith's to-day and eat for fivedollars a lunch, with a bottle of tchampanyer wine yet, Max, I couldn'thelp myself. I got to say something. "

Max scowled and spat out the end of his cigar. 

"Of course, Max, " Abe added, using his partner's metaphor, "it ain'tno skin off my nose, y'understand. "

"Ain't it?" Max growled as he turned on Abe with a menacing glare. "Well, it's a wonder it ain't, the way you are sticking it into otherpeople's business. If you think I care what you think about what my boyeats for his lunch you are making a big mistake. I could take care of myown boy, Potash, and I am just as much obliged if you would do thesame. "

Abe flushed a fiery red and rose to his feet. 

"I guess I would go into the next car, " he said. 

"You could go a whole lot farther for all I care!" Max retorted, andimmediately buried his head between the open pages of a conservativeevening paper. 

Abe had not offended in vain, however, for after dinner that night, whenSidney sought his father in the Koblins' suite at Riesenberger'scottage, the King was in an ugly mood. 

"Say, Pop, " Sidney began, "how about you for twenty till Saturdaynight?"

"What d'ye mean?" Max bellowed. "Ain't I given you ten dollars only thismorning?"

Sidney laughed uncomfortably. "Ain't you the old tightwad!" he said. 

Max's reply to this observation was quite unprecedented in all Sidney'sexperience. It took the form of an open-handed blow on the cheek, thefirst ever administered by his indulgent parent since Sidney'sinfancy. Forthwith began a family row that brought the entirehousehold--guests, servants and proprietress--on the run to the Koblinapartments. When Mrs. Koblin's frightened screams had ceased, and MaxKoblin had calmed down sufficiently to offer an evasive explanation, theguests trooped back to the piazza, and three games of auction pinocle, which had started in the dining-room after the tables had been cleared, came to an abrupt close. Instead, the players foregathered with theother guests in the porch rockers. 

There they discussed the incident until nearly midnight; and, as no onehad been an eyewitness of the affray, there were as many versions of itas may be mathematically demonstrated where one blow is struck amongthree persons. Some had it that Sidney had attacked his father andothers that Mrs. Koblin had assaulted Sidney, but a large femininemajority favoured a construction of the matter as one of wife-beating. Abe alone correctly surmised the turn that Sidney's affairs had takenand he sat on the piazza in conscience-stricken solitude long after allthe other guests had retired. 

He blamed himself for the entire affair and he smoked cigar after cigarbefore he sought his bed. As he walked up the broad staircase he met MaxKoblin at the first landing. 

"Max, " he said, "where are you going this time of night?"

Max stopped short. His eyes blazed in a face so careworn and haggardthat, to Abe, he seemed to have aged ten years since their meeting thatafternoon. 

"This is what comes of your butting in!" Max cried bitterly. "The boywent out right after we had the fuss and he ain't come back. "

He paused to choke down a hysterical lump in his throat. 

"And God knows what's become of him!" he sobbed as he continued down thestairs. 

 * * * * *

Abe tossed on his pillow all night; and when at breakfast he learnedthat Sidney Koblin had not returned, he swallowed with difficulty a cupof coffee and left a steak, two eggs and a plate of French-friedpotatoes entirely untasted. Thus he was enabled to catch the seven-fiveinstead of the seven-thirty train. When he found himself at theThirty-fourth Street Ferry with almost half an hour to spare hedetermined to walk to the store. 

He trudged across Thirty-fourth Street with his hands in his pockets andhis head bent toward the pavement, a prey to the most bitterreflections; and as he turned the corner of Fifth Avenue he failed tonotice, walking in the opposite direction, a tall youth, well dressedsave for soiled linen. The latter's eyes showed traces of unmistakabletears; and as they, too, were bent upon the pavement there ensued aviolent collision, which almost threw Abe off his feet. 

"Why don't you look where you're going?" he began, and then herecognized the object of his wrath. "Sidney!" he yelled, clutching youngKoblin's shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"Let me alone, " Sidney cried as he sought to free himself. 

"_Aber_, Sidney, " Abe pleaded, "you mustn't act so strange with me. Didyou got any breakfast yet?"

Sidney shook his head sullenly. 

"Me neither, " Abe cried. "Come on over to the Waldorf. "

Five minutes later they sat at a table in the palm room, while Abeordered two whole portions of grapefruit, a double portion of tenderloinsteak, soufflé potatoes, coffee, waffles and honey. 

"Now, listen to me, Sidney, " he began. "You shouldn't got mad at yourfather just because he licks you oncet, y'understand. My poor father, _selig_, he knocks the face off of me regular twicet a week, and I ain'tnone the worser for it. "

Sidney hung his head and made no reply. 

"Furthermore, Sidney, " Abe went on, "if you are broke why don't you sayso?"

He pulled a roll of bills out of his pocket and handed Sidney twentydollars. 

"Just a loan for a few days, y'understand, " he said as the waiterbrought in a loaded tray, "or a year--what's the difference--ain't it?Now, let's get busy. "

Together they polished off the entire trayful of food, and when Abeleaned back the waiter presented a check for ten dollars and eightycents. 

"Cheap at the price, " Abe remarked as he added a generous tip to theamount of the bill. "And now, Sidney, I suppose you're going back to thestore?"

"No, I ain't, " Sidney said. "I ain't doing no good down there; so what'sthe use? The old man won't let me do nothing down there and they allthink I'm a joke. "

"Well, you see, Sidney, " Abe commented, "that's the way it goes. It's anold saying, but a true one: 'There's no profit for a feller in his owncountry. '"

"And what's more, " Sidney continued, "they ain't given me a chanceneither. What I want to do is to sell goods on the road. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe interrupted. "Every young feller wants to go on theroad. All they can see in it is riding in parlour cars and playingauction pinocle in four-dollar-a-day hotels. Believe me, Sidney, sellinggoods on the road, when you been at it so long as I am, is a dawg'slife; and as for auction pinocle that's poison for a salesman. "

"Auction pinocle is nothing to me, " Sidney declared. "I swore off. "

"Another thing is lunches, Sidney, " Abe went on. "Ain't it a funny thingwhat a lot of satisfaction it is when you are eating zwieback and acup of coffee for lunch? In the first place, all it is costing you isten cents and you feel like a prince. Many a big bill of goods I sold onzwieback and coffee, Sidney--crackers and milk, too. And now, Sidney, the best thing you could do is to go back and tell the old man you arethrough with auction pinocle and high-price lunches, and you want him heshould give you a show you should sell goods. "

Again Sidney shook his head. 

"It ain't no use, Mr. Potash, " Sidney declared. "Pop ain't got noconfidence in me. If I was a greenhorn fresh from the old country hemight let me start in and do something, but----"

At the word greenhorn Abe Potash leaned forward and struck the tablewith his open hand. 

"By jiminy, Sidney!" he cried, "I know the very job for you. Only onething I must got to say to you, Sidney: you would got to commence small;so if what you are saying about auction pinocle and other monkeybusiness goes, Sidney, all right. Otherwise the thing is off. "

"Sure, it goes, Mr. Potash, " Sidney cried. 

Abe looked the Heir Apparent squarely in the eye for two minutes andthen he struck the table again. 

"I believe you, Sidney, " he said, "and we will right away take the cardown to West Washington Place. "

Katzberg & Schapp occupied the top floor of an old private house; butwhat their place of business lacked in size it made up in activity. Pressing irons were sizzling and banging and sewing machines wereburring loudly as Abe and Sidney climbed the stairs. When they entered, Shapolnik, the butterfly of fashion, had once more assumed the chrysalisof his working clothes. 

"How do you do, Mister Potash?" he cried, all in one breath. "Excuse me;I am looking like a slob. We are busy like dawgs here. Katzberg!" heyelled; "_Kimmen Sie hieran_. "

In response, a stout figure, clad only in an undershirt, trousers and apair of carpet slippers, laid down a pressing iron and shuffled towardthe visitors. 

"My partner, Mister Katzberg, " Shapolnik announced. "He also looks aslob, Mr. Potash; but when we are getting partitions in, and our officefixed up, no one would see him at all. He is the inside man; and me, Iam in the office and showroom. We're going to have a showroom so soon aswe are settled--a safe too. A telephone we already got it. This is Mr. Potash, Katzberg, and the other gentleman I don't know at all. "

"Mr. Koblin, " Abe explained; "he is coming to work by you as asalesman. "

"A salesman!" Katzberg exclaimed. "Why, we don't want no----"

Shapolnik turned on him with a glare. 

"Katzberg, " he said, "them samples you are working on we got to show theMagnet Store this afternoon yet. "

Katzberg shrugged his shoulders and returned to his pressing, whileShapolnik drew forward two rickety chairs and a packing-box. 

"Have a seat, Mr. Potash; and Mr. Cohen, too, " he said. 

"Koblin, " Abe corrected. 

"Koblin, " Shapolnik repeated. "Excuse me. "

He went to a closet in the corner, and unlocking it he exposed thefashionable suit that he had worn at Potash & Perlmutter's the previousafternoon. From the right-hand waistcoat pocket he took a red-bandedinvincible and handed it to Abe. 

"Have a smoke, Mr. Potash?" he said. Abe examined the cigar closely andtucked it carefully away. Then he produced three panatelas, handed oneeach to Sidney and Shapolnik and lit the other himself. 

"About this here salesman, Mr. Potash, " Shapolnik commented. "I think Ichanged my mind. "

Abe blew a great cloud of smoke before replying and then he placed anemphatic forefinger upon Shapolnik's knee. 

"A new beginner when he throws bluffs, Shapolnik, " he said, "must got tomake good. You told me yesterday you wanted a salesman and I am bringinghim to you. "

Shapolnik blushed. 

"Sure, I know I told it you, Mr. Potash, " he said, "but my partnerthinks otherwise. "

Abe nodded. 

"The only use some people got for a partner, Shapolnik, " he commented, "is they could always blame him for everything they do; but even if youdid come in my place just to show me what an elegant suit of clothes anda fine clean shave you got it, Shapolnik, I am bringing you a salesmananyhow. "

Katzberg at this juncture again laid down his pressing iron and cameforward. 

"Say, lookyhere, what is the use talking?" he cried. "We don't need asalesman; and that's all there is to it. "

"'S enough, Katzberg, " Abe shouted. "You got a whole lot too much to sayfor yourself for a new beginner. I ain't saying you need a salesman, Katzberg; I am only saying that you are going to hire one, Katzberg. Andafter you hire one you will quick need him. "

Abe placed his hand on Sidney's shoulder. 

"Here is a young feller which he ain't going to gamble _oder_ fool awayhis time. He is going to sell goods, " he declared. "He works for yearsby the biggest raincoat house in the country, and he's got anacquaintance among the retail clothing trade which it is easy worth toyou twenty-five dollars a week and the regular commissions. "

"But we couldn't afford to pay no salesman twenty-five dollars a week, "Shapolnik exclaimed. 

"Try me just one week, " Sidney said, "and I'll bring in enough cash topay my salary. "

"I forgot to say, " Abe interrupted, "that he's also got a lot ofconfidence in himself. "

"Maybe I have, " Sidney retorted: "but I'm going to make good. "

"Certainly you are, " Abe added, rising from his chair; "and now, Katzberg, the whole thing is settled. "

Katzberg shrugged and extended one palm outward in a gesture of despair. 

"Seemingly we are not our own bosses here, " he said. 

"Seemingly not, " Abe rejoined; "but, just the same, if you will take onthis young feller for a salesman I would give you a guaran_tirt_ that Iwill make good all you would lose on him for the first three months. Ismy word good enough?"

"Sure, it is!" Shapolnik cried. "When would you come to work by us, Mr. Koblin?"

"This morning, " Abe answered for Sidney--"right now; and one thing Imust got to say to you, Sidney, before I go: stand in your own shoes anddon't try to excuse yourself, on account you got a rich father. Also, ifthe old man makes you an offer you should come back to him, turn itdown. Take it from me, Sidney, you got a big future here. "

With a parting handshake all around Abe started back to his place ofbusiness. Five minutes later he boarded a Broadway car, and when healighted at Nineteenth Street he picked his way through a jam ofvehicles, which completely blocked that narrow thoroughfare. As he wasabout to set foot on the sidewalk he caught sight of the gray, drawncountenance of the Raincoat King, who sat beside his chauffeur on thefront seat of a touring car. 

"Say, Max, " Abe cried, "I want to speak to you a few words something. "

Max Koblin turned his head and recognized Abe with a start. 

"What d'ye want from me?" he said huskily. 

"I want to tell you the boy is all right, " Abe replied. 

The colour surged to Max's face and he leaped wildly from theautomobile. 

"What d'ye mean, all right?" he gasped. 

"I mean all right in every way, Max, " Abe answered; "and if you wouldstep into Hammersmith's for a minute I'll tell you all about it. "

"Where is he?" Max cried. 

Abe led the way to a table. 

"He's where he should have been _schon_ long since already, " he said asthey sat down. "He's got a job and he's going to make good on it. "

"What are you talking nonsense?" Max exploded. "Where is my Sidney? Hismother is pretty near crazy. "

"She shouldn't worry, " Abe replied calmly. "The boy is coming hometo-night; and if I would be you, Max, I would see to it he pays anyhoweight dollars a week board. "

Once more Max grew white--with anger this time. 

"Jokes you are making with me!" he bellowed. "Tell me where my boy isquick or I'll----"

"_Koosh_, Max!" Abe interrupted. "You are making a fool of yourself. Iain't hiding your boy. Just listen a few minutes and I'll tell you allabout it. "

Forthwith he unfolded to Max a vivid narrative of that morning'sadventures; when he concluded Max had grown somewhat calmer. 

"But, Potash, " he protested, "I don't want the boy he should work bysomebody else. Let him come and sell goods by me. "

"He couldn't do it and you couldn't neither, Max, " Abe said. "If he goesback to you, Max, you couldn't change over the way you've been treatingthat boy ever since he was born, and he sure would go back to the way hehas been acting. Let the boy stay where he is, Max. "

"Say, lookyhere, Potash, " Max burst out, "what are you butting into myaffairs for? Ain't I competent to manage my own son?"

Abe deemed it the part of friendship to remain silent, but Maxmisconstrued his reticence. 

"O-o-h!" he exclaimed. "I see the whole business now. You got aninterest in this here pants factory and so you practically kidnap myson. Do you know what I think? I think you are trying to jolly me intoletting him stay there because you expect maybe I would invest somemoney in the business. "

For two minutes Abe gulped convulsively and blinked at the Raincoat Kingin stunned amazement. Then he rose slowly to his feet. 

"All right, Koblin, " he said. "I heard enough from you. I wash myself ofthe entire matter. For my part you and your son could go to the devil;and take it from me, it won't be your fault if he don't. "

When Abe entered the firm's showroom that morning it was nearlyhalf-past eleven and Morris Perlmutter sat behind the pages of the_Daily Cloak and Suit Record_ in a sulky perusal of the Arrival ofBuyers column. Before he looked up he permitted Abe to discard his coatfor an office jacket. 

"You was taking a sea bath, Abe?" he said at length. "Ain't it? Isuppose we would pretty soon got to close up the store so's you couldtake all the sea baths you want. What?"

Abe refrained from uttering a suitable rejoinder and made straight forthe office. 

"Mawruss!" he yelled; "ain't the safe open yet?"

"Never mind is the safe open _oder_ not, Abe, " Morris replied. "So longas you are attending to business the way you are, Abe, it ain'tnecessary the safe should be opened. "

Abe grunted and squatted down in front of the combination. At length thebig doors swung open and he drew the box of cigars out of the middlecompartment. 

Morris looked on with ill-concealed curiosity while Abe took a bandedInvincible from his waistcoat pocket and restored it to the box whenceit originally came. 

"What's all that for?" Morris asked. 

"That's a souvenir from a pleasant morning, " Abe replied as he thrustthe box of cigars back into the safe and slammed the doors. He was aboutto return to the showroom, when the telephone bell rang and Morris tookthe receiver from the hook. 

"Hello!" he said. "Yes, this is Potash & Perlmutter. He's right here. Abe, Max Koblin wants to talk to you. "

"He does, hey?" Abe replied. "Well, I don't want to talk to him. "

"You should tell him that yourself, " Morris said as he walked away fromthe telephone. "I ain't got nothing to do with your quarrels. "

Abe watched Morris disappear into the showroom and then he ran to thetelephone and slammed the receiver on to the hook with forcesufficient almost to wreck the instrument. At intervals of a few secondsthe telephone rang for more than half an hour. Fifteen minutes after ithad ceased the elevator door opened and Max Koblin entered. 

"Cut-throat!" Koblin exclaimed. "I rung up my son and he wouldn't comeback. You are turning him against me--you and them two other crooks. Youthink you would get my money out of me. Very well. I'll show you. Iain't through with you yet. I'll put you fellers where you belong. "

"Don't make me no threats, Koblin, " Abe said calmly, "because, in thefirst place, you couldn't scare me any, and, in the second place, if youthink I am trying to keep your boy away from you, you aremistaken--that's all. I already wasted a whole morning on him and, justto show you I ain't such a crook as you think I am, I would go rightdown there now; and if I got to do it I would drag that young loafer outof there by the hair of his head. "

Twenty minutes later Abe burst into Katzberg & Schapp's businesspremises and asked in loud tones for Sidney Koblin. Before theastonished Shapolnik could reply, Max Koblin, who had followed Abe onthe next car, arrived all breathless and panted a similar demand. 

"He ain't in now, " Shapolnik replied; "he is just going to his lunch. "

"What d'ye mean by talking to me on the 'phone the way you did thismorning?" Max shouted. "You ain't got no business to keep my boy fromme. "

"I ain't keeping your boy from you, " Shapolnik answered; "and I wouldspeak to you whichever what way I would want to. Who are you anyway?"

"_Koosh!_ Shapolnik, " Abe interrupted. "You are talking too fresh. Mr. Koblin is right. You should fire that young feller right away, because Iam telling you right here and now I wouldn't guarantee nothing for himafter this. "

"What do I care what you would guarantee or what you wouldn'tguarantee?" Shapolnik replied. "The young feller already sold for usthis morning for five hundred dollars a bill of goods, and he could staywith us _oder_ not, just as he wants. Furthermore, Mr. Potash, I don'tgive a snap of my fingers for your _guarantirt_; this is my shop and ifyou don't want to stay here you don't got to. "

He seized a pressing-iron in token that the interview was ended and Abeand Max started for the stairs without another word. As they reached thesidewalk Abe paused. Across the street a dairy lunchroom displayed itswhite-enamel sign and through the plate-glass window he thought hediscerned a familiar figure. He ran to the opposite sidewalk and enteredthe restaurant, closely followed by Max, just as Sidney Koblin waseating the last crumbs of a portion of zwieback and coffee. 

"Hello, Sidney!" Abe said. "What's the matter with you? Why don't you goback to your father?"

Sidney rose to his feet and looked first at Abe and then at the RaincoatKing. 

"What for?" he asked nonchalantly. 

"Because he asks you to, " Abe replied, "and because I didn't got noright to butt in the way I did, Sidney. After all, your father is yourfather. "

"What's biting you now?" Sidney exclaimed. "Ain't you told me thismorning I should do what I did?"

Abe nodded sadly. 

"And didn't you say me and the old man couldn't give each other a squaredeal even if we wanted to?"

Abe nodded again. 

"Then I'm going to stick to my job, " Sidney declared as he walked towardthe cashier's desk. 

Abe and Max trailed after him and when they reached the sidewalk Maxseized his son by the arm. 

"Sidney, _leben_, " he said; "listen to me. Come and eat anyhow a decentlunch and we'll talk this thing over. "

"What for?" Sidney said. "I've had as much as I want to eat, and besidesI've got to see a fellow up at the Prince Clarence Hotel. I'll be atRiesenberger's to dinner to-night about the usual time. "

"Oh, you will, will you?" Max cried. "Well, all I got to say is you'vegot to pay for it yourself. "

Sidney broke into a laugh. 

"That worries me a whole lot!" he said. "I've made enough out of mycommissions to-day already to pay a whole week's board down there. "

He turned and started across the street, but as he reached the curb hepaused. 

"Tell mommer she shouldn't worry herself, " he said. "I'm all right. "

Max looked at Abe with a sickly grin. 

"I think he is too, Abe, " he murmured. "Would you come over to Broadwayand take maybe a little lunch with me?"

"Zwieback and coffee is good enough for me, " Abe replied. 

Max linked his arm in Abe's. 

"You shouldn't be mad at me, Abe, " he said sadly. "I am all turnedupside down about that boy; and if zwieback and coffee is good enoughfor you and him, Abe, I guess it must be too good for me. But, just thesame, I am going to eat with you, Abe, and we'll let bygones bebygones. "

 * * * * *

It was some weeks before Abe could bring himself to recount to Morristhe full details of Sidney Koblin's regeneration, but Morris had learnedthe facts long before there appeared in the advertising section of the_Clothing and Haberdashery Magazine_ the following full-pageadvertisement:

 KATZBERG, SCHAPP & KOBLIN Announce the OPENING OF THEIR NEW OFFICE AND SHOWROOM In the Chicksaw Building, West 4th Street, New York MAKERS OF TROUSERS FOR FINICKY FOLKS

 A HEADLINER THE RAINSHED PANTS Manufactured from the Famous Rainproof Fabric "KOBLINETTE" KEEPS THE LEGS WARM AND DRY Spring Line Now Ready

It caught Morris's eye one morning in January and he read it over--notwithout envy. 

"Some people's got all the luck, Abe, " he said bitterly. 

"I bet yer!" Abe replied, without looking up from his order book, whichwas overflowing with requisitions for spring garments. "I bet yer, Mawruss! You take my Rosie for instance: at her age you got no idee whata sport she is. Yesterday afternoon she went to a bridge-whist party byMrs. Koblin's and she won a sterling solid-silver fern dish. And mindyou, Mawruss, she only just found out how to play the game. "

"Who learned her?" Morris asked. 

"Mrs. Klinger and Mrs. Elenbogen, " Abe replied. "That's two fine women, Mawruss--particularly Mrs. Elenbogen. "

CHAPTER FIVE

A RETURN TO ARCADY

"Yes, Abe, " Morris Perlmutter said with bitter emphasis; "Max Kirschnersteals away trade from under our noses while you fool away your timeselling goods to a feller like Sam Green. "

"What d'ye mean, fool away my time?" Abe cried indignantly. "Sam Greenis an old customer from ours; and if Henry Feigenbaum gives for a coupleof hundred dollars an order to Max Kirschner he only does it becausehe's got pity on the old man. And, anyhow, Mawruss, even if Sam Green isa little slow, y'understand, sooner or later we get our money--ain't it?

"Sure, I know, Abe; and if them sooner-or-later fellers would pay youoncet in a while sooner, Abe, it would be all right, y'understand. Butthey don't, Abe; they always pay you later. "

"Well, Sam has got some pretty stiff competition up there, Mawruss, " Abesaid. "In the first place, Cyprus is too near Sarahcuse, y'understand;and if one of them yokels wants to buy for thirty dollars a garmentfor his wife, if he is up-to-date, he goes to Sarahcuse; and if he is aback number he goes to Sam's competitors!--What's the name now?--VanBuskirk & Patterson. Yes, Mawruss, back numbers always buys from backnumbers. "

"Why don't we sell that Van Buster concern our line, Abe?"

"A fine chance I got it with them people, Mawruss!" Abe exclaimed. "Theybuy their whole stock from a jobber in Buffalo and they got an idee thatRussian blouses is the latest up-to-the-minute effect in garments. Andyou couldn't blame 'em, Mawruss; most of the women up in Cyprus thinksthat way too. "

"That ain't here nor there, Abe, " Morris interrupted. "Sam Green is oneof them fellers which he is slow pay if he would be worth a millioneven. He's got the habit Abe. Look what he writes us now. "

He handed Abe a letter which read as follows:

 SAMUEL GREEN DRYGOODS AND NOTIONS THE K. & M. SYLPHSHAPE CORSET CYPRUS, NEW YORK, April 1, 1910

 GENTS: Your favour of the thirtieth inst. Rec'd and contents noted; and in reply would say you should be so kind and wait a couple days, and I will send you a check sure--on an account I got sickness in the family and oblige

 Yours truly, S. GREEN. 

"Well, Mawruss, " Abe commented, mindful of a recent obstinate lumbago, "might the feller did got sickness in his family maybe. "

"_Schmooes_, Abe!" Morris cried impatiently. "Every season that feller'sgot another excuse. Last fall his wife goes to work and has anoperation. A year ago he is got his uncle in the hospital. The winterbefore that he is got funeral expenses on account his mother died onhim; and so it goes, Abe. That feller would a damsite sooner kill offhis whole family, y'understand, than pay a bill to the day it is due. "

"All right, " Abe said; "then we wouldn't sell him no more--that's all. "

Morris shrugged. 

"That's all!" he repeated. "A concern don't pay strictly to the day; sowe couldn't sell 'em no more, and that's all, _sagt er_! For a fellerwhich he's losing customers right and left to a back number like MaxKirschner, Abe, you are talking pretty independent. "

"Say, lookyhere, Mawruss, " Abe exploded; "I just told it you MaxKirschner only gets that order from Henry Feigenbaum because he takespity on him. "

"What d'ye mean, pity?" Morris retorted. "I seen Max Kirschner in thesubway this morning and he looks like he needs pity, Abe. He's gotdiamonds stuck on him like a pawnbroker's window. "

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe continued. "Some drummers is gotdiamonds and some is got bank accounts, but there's mighty few got both, Mawruss; and Max Kirschner ain't one of 'em. One thing you got toremember, Mawruss--Max is an old man. "

"What are you talking nonsense! An old man!" Morris exclaimed. "Max isjust turned sixty. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe commented, "and for a drummer, that's awful old, Mawruss. A feller which he spends six months out of the year in trainsand hotels, Mawruss, is got to be mighty particular about what he eats. I stopped in one hotel together with Max _schon_ many times already, andat dinner I am always eating steaks and oncet in a while eggs maybe; butMax goes for them French names every time. Many a night I watched Max ina hotel lobby and you could see by his face that his stomach isboiling. "

"Never mind, Abe; I could stand a little indigestion, too, Abe, if Iwould be getting the orders Max is getting it. "

"That's a thing of the past, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Business falls offsomething terrible with him, Mawruss; and the first thing you know, Mawruss, Klinger & Klein gets rid of him and them diamonds would got tocome in handy before he finds another job. "

"_Yow!_ Klinger & Klein would get rid of him!" Morris criedskeptically. "Max Kirschner ain't no ordinary drummer, Abe. There's afeller which he was born and raised on this side. He's a gentleman, Abe, and them boys respects him. Besides, Abe, he practically started themtwo greenhorns in business. Twenty years ago, when them boys was newbeginners, Kirschner brings 'em a good trade, y'understand; and not onlythat, Abe, if it wouldn't be for him them fellers wouldn't never lastedsix months. The first season they turned out a lot of stickers, and whenthey got short Max goes himself to old man Baum and gets him to lendthem boys a thousand dollars. People don't forget such things in ahurry, Abe. "

"Don't they, Mawruss?" Abe rejoined. "Well, maybe they do and maybe theydon't, Mawruss; but twenty years is a long time to remember things, Mawruss, and when a feller draws big wages like Max Kirschner he's gotto turn in the orders, Mawruss--otherwise past favours is nix. "

Morris nodded. 

"That's no lie neither, Abe, " he said, rising to his feet; "and weshould right away send Sam Green a letter either he should mail us acheck or we would put his account into a collection agency. The fellergoes too far, Abe. "

It was precisely a week later that Max Kirschner's relations with thefirm of Klinger & Klein finally reached their climax. 

"Yes, Mawruss, " Abe said as he entered the showroom after a brief visitto the barber-shop that morning--"what did I told you?"

"You didn't told me nothing, Abe, " Morris retorted; "and, besides, itwas my idee that we wrote him a rotten letter, otherwise we would waitfor another week or ten days for our check. As it is, Abe, he deductsfour dollars on us for a damage on account of bum packing. He is notonly a crook, Abe, but a liar also. "

"Four dollars wouldn't break us, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined, "and we couldeasy make it up on the next bill he buys from us. But I wasn't talkingabout Sam Green at all. I mean Max Kirschner. "

"I much bother my head about Kirschner!" Morris said. "Let Klinger &Klein worry about him. "

Abe grunted as he removed his hat and coat. 

"You'd wait an awful long time for Klinger & Klein to worry about him, Mawruss, " he said. "Because them fellers got such hearts which _Gottsoll hüten_ their wives would die together with their children in oneday yet--I am only saying, y'understand--them two suckers wouldn't worryneither. Saturday night they fired Max Kirschner like a dawg, Mawruss. And why? Because a week ago Max eats some _stuss_ in Bridgetown, y'understand, which he is sick in bed for three days. And while he islaid up yet Sammet Brothers cops out a thousand-dollar order on him. "

"_Ai gewoldt!_" Morris cried, with ready sympathy. "You don't tell me?"

"And now that poor feller walks the streets looking for a job; and afine show he's got it, an old man like him. "

"Don't say that again, Abe, " Morris said. "You Jonah the feller thatway. Somebody hears you saying Max is an old man and the first thing youknow, Abe, they believe he is old. I told you before Max is only sixty;and when my _grossvater selig_ was sixty he gets married for the thirdtime yet. "

"Sure I know, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "Some fellers gets married for awife and some for a nurse, Mawruss. Any cripple could get married, y'understand; but a feller must got to have his health to sell goods. "

He seized the current issue of the _Daily Cloak and Suit Record_, and ashe sat down to examine it he heaved a sigh which merged into an agonizedgroan. 

"Oo-ee!" he exclaimed; "that lumbago still gets me in the back. "

"You see, Abe, " Morris commented maliciously, "you ain't so youngyourself. From forty-eight to sixty ain't a thousand years neither, Abe. "

Abe scowled and then his face lightened up in the conception of a happyidea. 

"I give you right about that, Mawruss, " he said: "but with me it'sdifferent, Mawruss. If I get so I couldn't go out on the road, y'understand, we could always hire some one to go for us. "

"Could we?" Morris grumbled. 

"Sure, " Abe went on; "and even to-day yet, while I am making Denver andthe coast towns, it wouldn't harm us we should get a feller which isacquainted with the trade up the state and in Pennsylvania and Ohio. "

"Wouldn't it?" Morris croaked. 

"We are losing every day business, Mawruss, because I got such a bigterritory to cover, " Abe said. "A feller in a small town wants his fallgoods early just so much as one of them big concerns in Denver _oder_Seattle; and if I don't show up in time they place their orders withsome one else. Whereas, Mawruss, if we would wait a couple of weeks, wewould say for instance, until he finds out that every one ain't payingfancy salaries like Klinger & Klein, y'understand, for a couple thousanddollars a year, Mawruss, we could get Max Kirschner and----"

"Max Kirschner?" Morris yelled. "What d'ye mean, Max Kirschner?"

"Yes, Mawruss, " Abe said, "we could get Max Kirschner; and, even if hewould be a little _kranklich_ oncet in a while, sometimes maybe he wouldbe worth to us two thousand a year anyhow. "

"Two thousand a year!" Morris bellowed. "What the devil you are talkingnonsense, Abe? We should give two thousand a year to a cripple likeKirschner! What do you think you are running here anyhow--acloak-and-suit business or a home for the aged? If you want to give tocharity do it with your money, not mine. "

For the remainder of the forenoon Morris Perlmutter moved about theshowroom with his face distorted in so gloomy a scowl that to Abe itseemed as though a fog enveloped his partner, through which theredarted, like flashes of heat lightning, exclamations of "_Schnorrer!_Cripple! With my money yet!" and "Crust that feller got it!" At lengthhe put on his hat and went out to lunch, while Abe gazed after him inmute disgust. 

"When some people talks charity, " he grumbled, "you got to reckon ahundred per cent. Discount for cash. "

 * * * * *

"You see, Abe, " Morris cried as he came in from lunch, "how easy it isto misjudge people. I just seen Sol Klinger over to Hammersmith's and hetells me that in six weeks yet Max Kirschner falls down on three orders. Four thousand dollars that sucker, Leon Sammet, cops out on 'em; and Solcouldn't help himself, Abe. Either they got to fire Max _oder_ they gotto go out of business. "

Abe nodded slowly. His face possessed an unusual pallor and he clenchedan unlighted cigar between his teeth. 

"What is it?" Morris asked. "Don't you feel good?"

"I am feeling fine, Mawruss, " he replied huskily. "I could blow myselfto a bottle tchampanyer wine yet, I feel so good. I am enjoying myself, Mawruss, on account Moe Griesman from Sarahcuse was just in here, whichhe tells me his nephew, Mozart Rabiner, goes to work for Klinger & Kleinas a drummer and we should be so good and cancel the order which hegives us yesterday, as blood is redder as water; and what the devilcould we do about it anyway?"

Morris's jaw dropped and he sat down heavily in the nearest chair. 

"One thing I'm glad, Mawruss, " Abe said as he put on his hat: "I'm glad, if we got to lose Moe Griesman's trade, Mawruss, that he is going togive it to a feller like Sol Klinger, which he is such a good friend toyou, Mawruss, and got such a big heart. "

He jammed his hat on his ears and started out. 

"Where are you going, Abe?" Morris asked. 

"I'm going over to Hammersmith's, Mawruss, " he replied, "to get a biteto eat; and I hope to see Sol Klinger there, Mawruss, as I would like tocongratulate him, Mawruss, with a pressing-iron. "

Morris's face settled once more into a deep frown as the elevator doorclosed behind his partner. 

"Always with his mouth he is making somebody a blue eye, " he muttered ashe turned to sorting over the sample line against Abe's impending tripto the small towns up the state. He had picked out four cheap, showygarments when the elevator door clanged again and a visitor entered, bearing a brown-paper parcel. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said, "what's the good word?"

The newcomer's cheery greeting was strangely at variance with hismanner, which was as diffident as that of a village dog on the Fourth ofJuly. As he advanced toward the showroom he exhaled the odour ofmothballs, characteristic of an old stock of cloaks and suits, so thatbefore he looked up Morris was able to identify his visitor. 

"Hello, Sam!" he said. "When did you get in?"

"Twelve o'clock, " Sam replied. "I would of got in sooner, but a crook ofa scalper in Sarahcuse sells me a ticket which it is punched out as faras Canandaigua; and if it wouldn't be I paid four dollars extra I comepretty near getting kicked off the train. "

"You ain't nothing out, Sam, " Morris said, "because that's just theamount you are doing me for on our last bill. "

"Doing you for!" Sam cried. "What d'ye mean, doing you for? One garmentwas damaged in the packing which I deducted the four dollars; and if youwouldn't believe me here it is now. "

He unwrapped the brown-paper parcel and disclosed a crumpled article ofwomen's apparel, which Morris shook out and examined critically. 

"In the first place, Sam, " he commented, "the garment has been worn. "

"What are you talking nonsense--worn?" Sam protested. "Once only my Leahputs it on to see the damage. There it is. "

Sam pointed with his forefinger and Morris looked at the spot indicated. 

"Well, how could that be damaged in packing, Sam?" Morris askedindignantly. "That's a stain from _lockshen_ soup. "

"My wife must got to eat like any other woman!" Sam exclaimedindignantly; "and besides, Mawruss, the stain ain't all soup, y'understand--some of it gets wet in the packing-case. "

"Well, I wouldn't bother my head about it no more, " Morris retorted. "Ideposited your check just now and we are lucky, if you would deduct fourdollars, that we got our money at all. "

"Maybe you are and maybe you ain't, Mawruss, " Sam commented. "That'swhat I come down to see you about. "

"What d'ye mean?" Morris cried. 

"I mean, " Sam said in husky tones, "I don't know whether the check isgood at all. When I mailed it you I got a little balance at my bank, butyesterday afternoon the president sends for me and shuts down on myaccommodation; and maybe--I don't know whether he did _oder_ not, y'understand--he takes my balance on account. "

Morris laid down the garment and fixed his visitor with an angry glare. 

"So!" he exploded; "you are going to fail on us?"

Sam disclaimed it indignantly. 

"What d'ye think I am?" he demanded--"a crook? And besides, I ain't gotnothing to fail with. "

Morris drew forward a chair. Sam sat down; and leaning back he nursedhis cheek with his hand in an attitude of utter dejection. 

"Well, what are you going to do?" Morris asked. 

"That's what I come down here to find out, " Sam replied. 

Then ensued a silence of several minutes during which Morris gazedattentively at his customer. 

"The fact is, Sam, " he said at last, "you ain't got no head. "

Sam nodded sadly. 

"You're a fool, Sam, " Morris went on in kindly accents; "and no matterhow hard a fool would work he is a poor man all his life. "

Sam deemed it hardly worth while to acquiesce in this statement, but heindorsed it unconsciously with a large tear, which stole put of thecorner of his eye and worked a clean groove down one travel-stainedcheek. 

"Have a smoke, Sam, " Morris added hastily as he thrust a cigar towardhis late customer. "Did you got your lunch yet? No? Come on out with menow and we would have a little bite to eat. "

He jumped to his feet and seized his hat. 

"Nathan, " he bawled to the shipping clerk, "tell Mr. Potash I am goingout with a customer and I'll be back when I am here. "

 * * * * *

Max Kirschner had reached the age of sixty without making a single enemysave his stomach, which at length ungratefully rejected all the richfavours that Max had bestowed on it so long and so generously. Indeed, he was reduced to a diet of crackers and milk when Abe encountered himin Hammersmith's restaurant that September morning. 

"Hello, Max!" Abe cried. "When did you get back? I thought you was inone of them--now--sanatoriums. "

"A sanatorium is no place for a drummer to find a job, Abe, " Maxreplied. 

"A good salesman like you could find a job anywhere without muchtrouble, Max, " Abe said cheerfully. 

"That's what everybody says, Abe; meantime I'm loafing. "

"It wouldn't be for long, Max, " Abe rejoined as he cast a hungry eyeover Hammersmith's bill of fare. "How's that fillet de who's this, withasparagrass tips and mushrooms?"

For a brief moment Max's eye gleamed and then grew dull again. 

"It's fine to put the stomach out of business, Abe, " Max said. "Take thetip from one who has lost sixty pounds, ten customers, and a good joball in six weeks--and order poached eggs on toast. "

Abe compromised on boiled beef with horseradish sauce; and when he waswell into the noisy consumption of that simple dish he broached thesubject of Max's future plans. 

"When d'ye think you'll go to work again, Max?" he asked. 

Max shrugged expressively. 

"I'm not a prophet, Abe; I'm a salesman, " he said. 

"Well, there ain't no particular hurry, Max. It ain't the same like youwould got a family to look out for. "

"I've been a drummer all my life, Abe, " Max declared, "and a drummer hasno right to be married. When I was a kid I had a chance to go into thestore of a couple of yokels upstate in the town where I was born andraised; and I guess if I'd done so I'd been married and had a wholefamily of children by now. "

"Maybe you're just as well off, Max, " Abe said consolingly. "Children isa gamble anyhow, Max. The boys is assets and the girls is liabilities;and if you got a large family of girls you're practically bankrupt, nomatter how good business would be. "

"Don't you believe it, Abe, " Max said. "Those two yokels both had bigfamilies and they didn't do such a big business either. But they managedto make a good living, and last week I hear they sold out to some citydry goods man for forty thousand dollars. "

Abe paused with a loaded knife in midair. 

"Forty thousand dollars between two ain't much, Max, " he said. 

"It's more than I've got, anyhow, " Max rejoined as he rose to his feet. 

"You got lots of time to make money, Max, " Abe concluded. "Come roundand see us when you get time, won't you?"

Max nodded; and as he walked down the street to make a further canvassof the garment trade he passed the broad windows of the dairy lunchroom, where Morris was regaling Sam Green with a popular-price meal. 

"Yes, Sam, " Morris said as he caught sight of Max Kirschner's dejectedfigure, "you're lucky when you consider some people. You are still ayoung man and it ain't too late for you to start in as a new beginnersomewhere. A young man could always make a living anyhow. "

"Sure, " Sam agreed, "but why should I start in as a new beginner, Mawruss? I already got an established business, y'understand; and if Icould get a feller with a headpiece, Mawruss--never mind he ain't gotso much money--with a couple thousand dollars, we could run that fellerfrom Sarahcuse out of town. "

"What feller from Sarahcuse?" Morris asked. 

"Ain't I told you?" Sam continued. "I thought I says that the reason thebank shuts down on me is a feller from Sarahcuse buys out them twosuckers, Van Buskirk and Patterson, and he's going to operate the storeas a branch house. "

Morris nodded his head slowly. 

"So, Sam, " he said, "you are up against one of them sharks fromSarahcuse? I'm afraid you got a dead proposition in that store ofyours. "

Two cups of coffee had revived Sam Green's ambition, however, and helaughed aloud. 

"You don't understand them people up in Cyprus, Mawruss, " he said. "Strangers they don't like at all; and even me, though I lived in thattown ten years, most of 'em wouldn't buy goods off of me because VanBuskirk and Patterson is born and raised in that town and they dealtwith 'em ever since they was boys together. So you see I got ten years'start of that feller from Sarahcuse, Mawruss. If I could get some fellerwhich he knows the garment business to go as partners together with me, and to put a little money into the store, we could yet do a goodbusiness there. "

"How much money would you got to have?" Morris asked. 

"Two thousand dollars, anyhow, " Sam replied. 

Morris tapped the table with his right index finger and frownedreflectively. 

"The necktie pin alone must be worth a thousand dollars, " he murmuredalmost to himself, "and two rings he got it which I know about muststand him in anyhow a thousand dollars more. "

He thrust back his chair and rose to his feet. 

"All right, Sam, " he said aloud. "You got a little egg on your chin. Wipe it off and we'll go back to the store. I got an idee. "

 * * * * *

"On second thought, Sam, " Morris said as they approached Potash &Perlmutter's place of business, "I wouldn't go up with me if I was youon account I don't want to say nothing to my partner just yet a while. Where are you staying, Sam?"

"I got a room at a hotel over on Third Avenue, " Sam replied. 

"Third Avenue!" Morris exclaimed. "That's a _Nachbarschaft_ for abusiness man!"

He handed Sam a five-dollar bill. 

"Go and get yourself a room over at the Prince Clarence, " Morris said. "I'll be over there presently. "

Nathan, the shipping clerk, was alone in the showroom when Morrisentered. 

"Ain't my partner come back yet, Nathan?" he demanded. 

Nathan shook his head. 

"Then tell him when he does come back that I've went up to the PrinceClarence to see a customer, " Morris continued; "and if he asks what nametell him it's a new concern just starting. "

Five minutes later he visited the business premises of Kleiman &Elenbogen, impelled thereto by a process of reasoning which involved thefollowing points: Klinger & Klein manufactured a medium-price line andso did Kleiman & Elenbogen. Klinger & Klein's leader was The Girl in theAirship Gown, a title suggested by the syndicate's popular musicalcomedy of that name, while Kleiman & Elenbogen advertised their"strongest" garment as The Girl in the Motor-boat, out of compliment, ofcourse, to the equally popular musical comedy recently produced by anantisyndicate manager. Both concerns catered to the same class of trade, and when either of the partners of Klinger & Klein referred inconversation to a member of the firm of Kleiman & Elenbogen, or viceversa, "sucker" was the mildest epithet employed. 

Hence Morris Perlmutter argued that Max Kirchner would resort to Kleiman& Elenbogen's loft for comfort and advice; and as he stepped out of theelevator his surmise was confirmed by a nimbus emanating from thenecktie of a person seated at the far end of the showroom. 

"Hello, Max!" Morris cried; "who'd thought of seeing you here!"

Max rose to his feet and extended his right hand in greeting, whereatMorris noted that the four-carat diamond still sparkled on Max's finger. 

"I just left your partner over at Hammersmith's, Morris, " Max said. 

"Sure, I know, " Morris rejoined; "that feller makes a god out of hisstomach, Max; but that ain't here nor there. Did you got something to doyet, Max?"

"I've got a whole lot to do trying to find a job, Morris, if that's whatyou mean, " Max replied. 

Morris glanced around the showroom, but both Kleiman and Elenbogen wereabsent. 

"Where are they?" Morris asked. 

"Out to lunch, I guess, " Max replied. 

"Good!" Morris exclaimed. "Them suckers would like to know everybody'sbusiness. You got a few minutes' time, Max?"

"Nothing but time, " Max replied sadly. 

"Then come uptown a few blocks with me, " Morris said. "I got aproposition to make you. "

Max shrugged his shoulders and put on his hat. 

"Yes, Max, " Morris continued as they walked toward the Prince ClarenceHotel, "I got a proposition to make to you, but first I would like toask you something a question. "

"Fire away, " Max said. 

"What did you done with that other diamond ring which you used towear--the big one?"

"I have it home, " Max replied. "What d'ye want to know for?"

"I want to lend you some money on it, " Morris went on calmly; "also thatpin which you got it and that there ring. I want to lend you threethousand dollars on 'em. "

"Three thousand dollars!" Max exclaimed. "Why, the whole outfit isn'tworth two!"

"What do I care?" Morris rejoined. "It's only a loan and I bet yer youwould quick pay me back. "

Max paused on the sidewalk and stared. "What's the matter, Morris?" hecried. "Are you sick?"

"Must a feller got to be sick to want to help you out, Max?" Morrissaid. "And anyhow, Max, it's as much a favour to us as it is to you. "

By this time they had reached the Prince Clarence Hotel and Morris ledthe way to the café. 

"Say, lookyhere, Max, the whole thing is this, " he said after they wereseated: "I'm going to lend you three thousand dollars to go into abusiness with a feller which he got a store in a small town upstate, andyou're going to do it. "

Max shook his head. 

"No; I ain't, " he answered. "I'm too old a dog to learn new tricks. "

"If you sell goods wholesale you could sell 'em retail, " Morrisdeclared. "So, if you would listen to me I'll tell you what theproposition is. "

Forthwith Morris unfolded to Max the history of Sam Green's mercantileestablishment. 

"And now, after all them years, Max, " he concluded, "that feller getspractically run out of town because his bank shuts down on him. "

"What's the name of the place?" Max asked. 

"The name of the place?" Morris repeated. 

"Yes, " Max said, "the name of the town where the fellow comes from. "

Morris scratched his head for a minute. 

"I should remember the name of every little one-horse town where we gotcustomers!" he said. "The name of the place don't matter, Max; it's gottwo thousand people living in it and practically only one store, becausethe way Sam Green is running his business now you couldn't call it astore at all. "

Max rose from the table. 

"I'll tell you the truth, Morris, " he said; "what's the use wasting ourtime? The proposition ain't attractive. I was born and raised in aone-horse town upstate; and, even though I ain't been back for twentyyears, I know what it's like. You'll have to excuse me. "

"But, Max----" Morris commenced. 

"I needn't tell you that I'm more than grateful to you, Morris, " Maxconcluded; "and if ever I want to dispose of my diamonds you shall havefirst chance. "

He shook Morris's limp and unresisting hand and returned at once to theshowroom of Kleiman & Elenbogen. 

"Any one come for me, Miss Cashman?" he asked the bookkeeper, who wasbusily engaged in the preparation of the firm's monthly statement. 

"Say, lookyhere, Kirschner, " Louis Kleiman called from his office;"leave the girl alone, can't you? She's got enough to do tending to ourbusiness. "

"I'm only asking her if she has any word for me, " Max replied. 

"I don't care what you are asking her, " Kleiman said as he came out ofhis office to confront Max. "You are acting altogether too fresh aroundhere, Kirschner. Do you pay rent here _oder_ what?"

Max made no reply. 

"And furthermore, " Kleiman continued, "we got business to attend tohere, Kirschner, and we couldn't afford to have no dead ones hangingaround. "

For a brief interval he scowled at Max, who turned on his heel and madefor the elevator without another word. His applications for employmentduring the past few days had met with polite refusals coupled withcheerful prophecies of his early employment. To be sure, Max had takenlittle stock in this consoling optimism, but it had all helped to keepalive his spirits, which had sunk again to their lowest ebb atKleiman's epithet, "dead one. "

After all, he was a dead one, he reflected as he stumbled along thesidewalk toward his boarding house on Irving Place. A man of sixtysafely intrenched in his own business, with the confidence his wealthinspires, is in the very prime of life. But Max, with his healthimpaired and his employment taken away from him, felt and looked adecrepit old man as he tottered upstairs to his third-floor room andflung himself on the bed, where he lay for more than an hour staring atthe ceiling. 

During that interval he reviewed his career from the time he helped hisfather, a Prussian refugee of 1848, in the little country store upstate. Then came his father's death, followed by a clerkship in the largedry-goods business of his father's competitors. After this he had movedto New York; and from that time on he had followed the calling of atravelling salesman with varying success, until at sixty he foundhimself out of health and employment, with property of less than twothousand dollars as a reserve fund. 

What a fool he had been not to accept Perlmutter's offer! Neverthelessit seemed futile for a man of sixty to make a new start in a strangetown, especially since, in rural communities, business goes as much byfavour and friendship as by commercial enterprise. Now, had he beenoffered a partnership in a store in his native town, where it would bean easy matter to renew old acquaintance, he might have viewed theproposition differently. 

He rose from the bed and sat down in an armchair, while his mindreverted to more pleasant topics. He pictured to himself his father'sstore underneath what the townspeople called the opera house. He sawagain that dingy little hall, with its small proscenium opening guardedby a frayed old curtain, and he smiled as he remembered the landscape itbore. With the sophistication of his race he had enjoyed many a goodlaugh at the performance that had evoked the tears of his fellowtownsmen. What Rubes they were, to be sure! And yet, what good fellowsthe boys had been! He recalled various ones by name and found himselfwondering how they looked and whether they were married or single. Another half hour of like musing and suddenly he slapped his thigh. 

"By jinks!" he said, "I'll do it. I need a vacation and I'm going tohave it too. "

When Morris returned to his place of business that afternoon he hadpacked Sam Green off to his store upstate with instructions to return ina week, during which Morris hoped to take the matter up with Abe. As forhis hour-long absence from his place of business, Morris had providedhimself with a plausible explanation in rebuttal to the quiet, ironicalgreeting that he knew would await him. His program was a little upset, however, by Abe's inquiry, which was not in the least ironical. 

"Loafer, where have you been?" Abe demanded. 

"What d'ye mean, loafer?" Morris cried. 

"I mean, while you are fooling away your time, Moe Griesman comes inhere to see us and naturally he don't find none of us here; so he goesaway again. From us he goes straight over to Sammet Brothers--and that'sthe way it goes. "

"But, Abe, " Morris protested, "I thought you told me he cancels hisorder this morning and buys only from Klinger & Klein. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe said; "but I suppose he finds out he couldn't findall the goods he wants with one concern and now he goes over to SammetBrothers. "

"How do you know he went over to Sammet Brothers?" Morris asked. 

"A question! How do I know it?" Abe exclaimed. "Ain't he left amemorandum I should ring him up there?"

"Well, why don't you ring him up and find out what he wants?" Morrisretorted. 

"What do I care what he wants, Mawruss?" Abe rejoined. "Whatever hewants he don't want it now, because them two cut-throats would suck himdry of orders. Once a feller gets into the hands of Sammet Brothers theywouldn't let him go till he bought himself blue in the face. "

"Ring him up, anyhow, " Morris insisted; and the next moment Abe wasengaged in a heated altercation with "Central. " Finally he heard LeonSammet at the other end of the wire. 

"Hello!" he yelled. "I want to speak with Mr. Griesman. Never mind whatI want to speak with him about. That's my business. I ain't the freshone--you are the fresh one. You are asking me something which you ain'tgot no right to ask me at all. You know well enough who it is talking. "

After five minutes' further conversation, Leon relinquished his end ofthe wire to Griesman and immediately thereafter Abe's voice diminishedin harshness till it became fairly flutelike with friendship andamiability. 

"Oh, hello, Mr. Griesman!" he said. "Did you want to talk to me? Why, no, Mr. Griesman, he don't owe us nothing. He paid us this morning. Sure! What did you want to know for? Why should we sell his account, Mr. Griesman? He's a little slow, y'understand, but he's quite good. That'sall right. Good-by. "

When he returned to the showroom his face wore a puzzled expression. 

"Well, Abe, what did he want?" Morris asked. 

Abe shrugged his shoulders. 

"I don't know what he is up to, Mawruss, " Abe said; "but he tells me hewants to buy from us Sam Green's account. So I told him Sam pays us thismorning, and he rings off. "

"Why should Moe Griesman want to buy from us Sam Green's account?"Morris muttered to himself; and then a wave of recollection came overhim. Obviously it was Moe Griesman who had bought out Sam's competitorsand this caused Sam's bank to shut down on him. Now Moe Griesman wasattempting to buy up Sam's liabilities and close him up, so that theremight be no competitor to Moe's new business in Cyprus. At length thehumour of the situation appealed to Morris and he grinned vacuously athis partner. 

"_Nu_, " Abe growled; "what are you laughing at?"

"Nothing much, Abe, " Morris replied. "I was only thinking--that's all, Abe. I was thinking to myself, Abe, what a joke it would be, supposing, for instance, Sam's check should come back N. G. "

 * * * * *

When Sam Green entered the smoker of the seven-thirty train fromSyracuse to Cyprus, the following morning, a well-dressed man of sixtyfollowed him down the aisle and sat down in the same seat with him. 

"Have a cigar?" the stranger said. 

"Much obliged, " Sam replied as he took it. "If it is just the same toyou I would smoke it after dinner. "

"Sure!" the stranger rejoined, handing him another; "smoke that oneafter dinner and smoke this one now. "

Sam grinned and after they had lit up he ventured the observation thatit was fine weather. 

"_Aber_ it should be colder, " he concluded, "for heavyweights. "

"Are you in the clothing business?" the stranger asked. 

"I got a sort of a store, " Sam replied; "clothing and cloaks, and suitsalso. A dry-goods store in Cyprus. "

"In Cyprus?" Sam's seatmate cried. "You don't tell me? I'm going down toCyprus too. "

"My fall buying is through, " Sam said. 

"I'm not selling goods this trip, " the stranger replied. "I'm on avacation. "

"A vacation!" Sam murmured. "In Cyprus! That's a _medeena_ for avacation. "

"There are worse places than Cyprus, my friend, " said Sam's new-foundacquaintance; and thereat began a conversation that lasted until thetrain finally drew into Cyprus. 

"Would you mind telling me what is your name, please?" Sam asked as theyprepared to leave the car. 

"Certainly, " the stranger said, handing his card to Sam. 

"Kirschner!" Sam exclaimed, looking at the card. "Kirschner, _von unsereLeute_?"

"Sure!" Max Kirschner replied. 

"Did your father once run a store under the opera house here?"

"That's right. "

"And after he died the widder sells out to a man by the name MarcusSenft?"

"The same one, " Max replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I bought out that feller, Marcus Senft, " Sam replied, "and Igot on my books yet debts which your mother sold to Senft fortwenty-five cents on the dollar--and he sold to me for ten cents. "

"I'll bet I know who owes 'em, too, " Max commented. 

"You could look 'em over if you want to, " Sam said as they started towalk down the hilly lane from the depot to the main street. 

"I will after I've washed up at the hotel, " Max answered. 

"Hotel?" Sam exclaimed. "What d'ye mean, hotel? You ain't going to nohotel. You're coming home with me. A feller _von unsere Leute_ shouldcome to Cyprus for a vacation and stay at a hotel! An idee!"

He linked his arm in Max's and together they walked to Sam's store. 

"We'll take a look in here first before we go up to the house, " Sam saidas he opened the door. The next moment Sam Green was clasped to theample bosom of Leah Green, who glanced inquiringly at Max Kirschner. 

"Mommer, " Sam announced, "this is Mr. Max Kirschner, which he ought tobe like an old friend on account he was born and raised in this heretown and his father run this very store. "

Max looked around him at the shelves and showcases. 

"The same fixtures, " he muttered absently. 

"He is only in town for a couple of days, mommer, " Sam saidhesitatingly, "so I thought we could easy fix up the spare room--ain'tit?"

"Why, sure!" Mrs. Green replied as she shook Max's hand warmly. "Is thefolks all well, Mr. Kirschner?"

Max smiled sadly. 

"You can judge for yourself, Mrs. Green, " he said, "because I'm all thefolks there are. "

"Oh, sure, " Mrs. Green hastened to say. "I remember now; you never gotmarried. "

"Why, how do you know that?" Sam asked. 

Mrs. Green nodded her head sideways in Sam's direction. 

"He don't never hear nothing, Mr. Kirschner, " she said. "With me thewomen folks _schmooses_ all the time; and you could take it from me, Mr. Kirschner, they talk a whole lot more about what happens forty years agoas what happens last week already. "

Max nodded as the store door opened and a woman of uncertain ageentered. 

"Good morning, Mis' Green, " the newcomer said, her eyes glued on MaxKirschner. "I was just passin' by on my way to the depot and Iremembered that I needed a spool of thread. "

Mrs. Green passed behind the counter to reach the thread case. 

"Going to Sarahcuse to-day, Mis' Duree?" she asked casually. 

Mrs. Duryea blushed. 

"I'm on my way to see my sister's little granddaughter, " she explained;"she's just recovering from whooping cough. "

"Would that be your sister Libby?" Max inquired. 

Mrs. Duryea started visibly. 

"I don't know as I----" she began. 

"That's so, " Max continued. "Libby moved to Elmira. It must be Carrie. She married Lem Peters, didn't she?"

"Well, of all things!" Mrs. Duryea exclaimed. "Who in the world told youall that?"

"I just remembered it, " Max said, holding out his hand. "How's Tom?"

Mrs. Duryea took the proffered hand gingerly. 

"He's pretty spry, " she said. 

"Tell him Max Kirschner was asking for him, " Max replied. 

"You ain't Max Kirschner?" Mrs. Duryea cried. 

"Just as sure as you're Hattie Watson, " Max said. "How're all thechildren, Hattie?"

"All growed up and flew away, " Mrs. Duryea replied. "What are you doingaround here?"

Max's eyes twinkled mischievously. 

"I'm selling goods for Mr. Green here, " he declared. "Let's see, Hattie. Forty-two bust, I should say. "

He snatched a garment from a rack near by. 

"Here's a coat, Hattie, that would stand you in forty dollars inSyracuse, " he said. "One of those big dry-goods stores there figures ona coat like this: garment, wholesale, twenty dollars; running a bigstore with elevators, electric lights and all modern improvements, tendollars; advertising, five dollars; profit, five dollars--total, fortydollars. We figure here: cost of garment, twenty dollars; storeexpenses, fifty cents; profit, four dollars and fifty cents; total, twenty-five dollars. Put it on, Hattie, and let's see how you look inthe garment. "

"Well, I declare!" Mrs. Duryea exclaimed as she allowed herself to beassisted into the garment. "You take my breath away. "

Max stepped back to survey the effect; and if the admiration expressedin his face was simulated, at least the friendliness of his smile wasnot. 

"Now, Hattie, I want to tell you something, " he declared: "If any onewould say to me that I went to school with you I'd think they had a badmemory. I'd tell 'em it was your mother that sat next to me in MissJohnson's room and not you. "

Mrs. Duryea fairly beamed as she strutted up and down the store. 

"Well, Max, " she said at last, "let me bring my friend Mis' Williams inthis afternoon and we'll decide on it then. "

"But I thought you were going to Syracuse, " Max rejoined. 

"I was, " Mrs. Duryea said as she started to leave; "but I ain't now. "

 * * * * *

The news of Max Kirschner's return spread through Cyprus like a brushfire, and twenty minutes after Mrs. Duryea had left Sam Green's storeMax was holding a levee behind the old counter. By two o'clock he hadgreeted over fifty old friends and at least twenty of them had madepurchases in amounts varying from five to thirty dollars. 

"As sure as you're standing there, Mr. Kirschner, " Sam declared, "I soldmore goods this morning as in the last two months. "

Max grinned delightedly. His face was flushed and he looked at least tenyears younger as he patted Sam on the shoulder. 

"Look out for the rush this afternoon, " he said. "If we only had abetter assortment, Green, I think we could keep this up for a weeklonger and after that we could do a good, steady business. "

"We?" Sam exclaimed. 

Max coloured and smiled in an embarrassed fashion. 

"Of course I mean you, " he said. 

"Why 'of course'?" Sam asked; and Mrs. Green nodded vigorously. "Why notwe, Mr. Kirschner?"

"Well, you see, I haven't sold goods at retail for so long, " Maxexplained, "that I really don't know how. "

Sam turned to Mrs. Green with a quick shrug. 

"_Was hast du gehört?_" he cried. "He don't know how! If I wouldn't knowhow to sell goods the way you don't know how, Mr. Kirschner, I wouldquick build up a good business here. Tell me, Mr. Kirschner, how muchlonger do you got a vacation, because I'd like to make you aproposition. You could stay with me here for the rest of your vacationand I would give you half of the profits over the cost price of everygarment you sell. How's that?"

"Very generous, " Max said; "but you don't know what you're offering me, Green, because the vacation might last for several years. "

"Several years!" Sam repeated. "You mean you are retired from business, Mr. Kirschner?"

"Exactly, " Max answered; "with a fortune of two diamond rings, a diamondpin, and eight hundred and sixty-five dollars cash. "

Sam and Mrs. Green stared at him incredulously. 

"In other words, Green, " Max concluded, "I have just been fired out of ajob as travelling salesman, which I held for twenty years, and I don'tsee a chance of getting another one. "

For a moment Sam and his wife exchanged glances. 

"Mr. Kirschner, " Sam said, "how much can you get for them diamonds?"

"Fifteen hundred dollars, I guess, " Max replied. 

"Then what is the use talking nonsense, Mr. Kirschner?" Sam criedexcitedly. "Come along with me over to the Farmers' National Bank andwe'll see Mr. Fuller; and if he would renew my accommodation for athousand dollars you and me would go as partners together and _fertig_. "

"Fuller!" Max cried. "That ain't Wilbur M. Fuller, is it?"

"That's the one, " Sam declared. 

"Then we'll not only get him to renew the accommodation, Sam, but we'llsell him some shirts and neckties as well. He and I clerked together inVan Buskirk & Patterson's. "

As a sequel to Max's visit to the Farmers' National Bank, Abe and Morriswaited in vain for the return of Sam's check. 

"How did you know the check wasn't good, Mawruss?" Abe asked his partnera week later. 

"I ain't said it ain't good, Abe, " Morris protested; "only I seenMarkson, which he works for Klinger & Klein as a bookkeeper, inHammersmith's to-day and he says that Moe Griesman goes round trying tobuy up all Sam Green's bills payable; and he's got about five hundreddollars' worth now already. "

"Sure, I know he did, " Abe replied. "He got from Kleiman & ElenbogenSam's three-hundred-and-fifty-dollar debt for two hundred andseventy-five cash and Sam sends 'em the check for the full amount theday before yesterday. I seen Louis Kleiman yesterday and he was feelingpretty sore, I bet yer. "

Morris nodded. He had been completely mystified about Sam's affairssince the arrival of a letter from Cyprus addressed to Morrispersonally, wherein Sam repaid the money advanced for his hotelaccommodation and announced that he had abandoned for the present hisintention of returning to New York. Morris's mystification was hardlyabated by the following letter, which arrived on the heels of theconversation above set forth:

 SAMUEL GREEN & CO. DRY-GOODS AND NOTIONS THE K. & M. SYLPHSHAPE CORSET

 CYPRUS, NEW YORK, MAY 1, 1910. 

 GENTS: We inclose you herewith memorandum of order. Kindly ship same within ten days by fast freight, and oblige

 Yours truly, SAMUEL GREEN & CO. 

 P. S. You should telegraph Farmers' National Bank for references if you ain't satisfied to ship without it. Business is good. S. GREEN. 

Morris Perlmutter's relations with Sol Klinger retained theircordiality despite the rupture between Abe Potash and Klinger & Klein. To be sure, Moe Griesman's defection had rankled, but Morris consoledhimself with the maxim, "Business is business"; and when he met SolKlinger in Hammersmith's restaurant during the first week of the springbuying season he greeted Sol cordially. His friendly advance, however, met with a decided rebuff. 

"What's the matter now, Sol?" Morris asked. 

Sol nodded his head slowly. 

"It's a great world, Mawruss, " he said. 

Morris agreed with him. "There's business enough in it for everybodyanyhow, Sol, if that's what you mean, " he replied. 

"In lots of places, yes, but in others, no, " Sol said. "But with somepeople, Mawruss, they're like a snake in the grass, which it bites thehand that feeds it. "

"What's Moe Klein been doing now?" Morris asked. 

"Moe Klein?" Sol cried. "What d'ye mean, Moe Klein? I ain't talkingabout Moe Klein at all. I am talking about Max Kirschner, Mawruss. There's a feller which we give him for twenty years good wages, Mawruss, and what do we get for it? After he leaves us, Mawruss--"

"Left you?" Morris interrupted. "Why, I always thought you fired him. "

"Sure, we fired him, " Sol continued. "A lowlife bum which he makesalways a hog of himself, why shouldn't we fire him? And then, Mawruss, when we are taking on Moe Greisman's nephew, Rabiner, what does thatsucker Max Kirschner do? He turns around and fixes up with a feller bythe name Sam Green, in Cyprus, to go as partners together in Sam Green'sstore up there. And mind you, Mawruss, Moe Griesman had just bought outSam Green's competitors, Van Buskirk & Patterson. And Max Kirschnerknows all the time that the only reason that we took on Mozart Rabinerwas on account of his uncle, Moe Griesman. "

Sol Klinger was so interested in his own narrative that he completelyfailed to notice its effect on Morris Perlmutter, who sat with his jawdropping lower and lower, while great beads of perspiration stood on hisforehead. 

"Yes, Mawruss, " Sol continued; "Moe Griesman even comes down himselffrom Sarahcuse to Cyprus to superintend things. Five thousand dollarsfixtures he puts in and forty thousand dollars he pays them two yokels, Van Buskirk & Patterson, for the good-will, stock, and store building;and what happens? For a whole month Moe sits in that store and not ahundred dollars' worth of goods goes out of the place, Mawruss; and why?It seems that Sam Green and Max Kirschner does all the business becauseMax Kirschner is born and raised in Cyprus and knows everybody in theplace. "

"Max was born and raised in Cyprus?" Morris gasped. 

"That's what I said, " Sol replied. "That's a _Nachbarschaft_ for afeller to be born in! What?"

Morris nodded and rose wearily to his feet. 

"I never could remember the name of the place even, at all, " he said. "Well, I guess now I would be getting back to the store. "

"You got my permission, " Sol said as Morris started from the restaurant. These were destined to be the last words addressed to Morris by SolKlinger in many a long day, for the moving incidents which awaitedMorris's return to his showroom put an end to all friendship between himand Sol. 

_Imprimis_, when Morris entered, Moe Griesman was seated in the firm'sprivate office, the centre of an animated group of four. "Hello, there, Mawruss!" Moe shouted; "there's a couple of gentlemen here which wouldlike to talk to you. "

He indicated a ruddy, clean-shaven person of approximately fifty years, who on closer inspection proved to be Max Kirschner shorn of his whitemoustache and without the attendant nimbus of his diamond pin. The otherindividual was even harder to identify by reason of a neat-fittingbusiness suit of brown and a general air of prosperity; but in himMorris descried the person of what had once been Sam Green. 

"Morris, you old rascal, " Max cried, "when you took me over to thePrince Clarence Hotel that day why didn't you tell me that the man youwanted me to go into business with ran a store in Cyprus?"

"I couldn't remember the name of the place at all, " Morris admitted. 

Abe gazed at him sorrowfully. 

"The fact is, gentlemen, " he said, "my partner ain't got no head atall. "

Sam Green's face flushed in recollection of the phrase. 

"Never mind, " he said fervently; "he's got anyhow a heart. "

"And I've got a stomach, " Max Kirschner added irrelevantly. "At least, I've recovered one since I've been eating Leah Green's good cooking. "

Sam and Moe Griesman smiled sympathetically. 

"Well, what's the use wasting time here, boys?" Moe said at last. "Let'sexplain to Mawruss about the new combination. Me and Max and Sam Greenhere have agreed to go as partners together in Cyprus under the name'The Cyprus Dry-goods Company. ' In a small town like Cyprus competitionis nix. "

"Good!" Morris exclaimed. "I'm glad to hear it. Is the Sarahcuse storeincluded too?"

"A ten per cent. Interest they got, although I am going to run mySarahcuse business and these here boys is going to run the Cyprus end, "Moe continued. "And now, Abe, as Max has got to pick out a lot of goodsfor the Cyprus store and I want to do the same for my Sarahcuse store, let's get to work. "

For three hours without cessation they laboured over Potash &Perlmutter's sample line until garments to an amount in excess of fivethousand dollars had been ordered. 

When Max Kirschner saw the total of Moe Griesman's selection for theSyracuse store he emitted a low whistle. 

"Say, Moe, " he said, "ain't you going to give your nephew, Rabiner, anyshow at all this season?"

"_Oser a Stück_, " Griesman declared. "I done enough for that feller whenI got him a three years' contract with Klinger & Klein. "

CHAPTER SIX

A PRESENT FOR MR. GEIGERMANN

"Well, Abe, " Morris Perlmutter declared, one morning in midwinter, "youlook like you had a pretty lively session last night. "

Abe nodded slowly. "I want to tell you something, Mawruss, " he saidsolemnly; "I would do anything at all to hold a customer's trade, Mawruss. I would go on theayter with him. I would _schmier_ him tenspotswhen he's got the bid already, and I would go _bate_ on hands which evena rotten player like you couldn't lose, Mawruss. But before I would gotto sit through such another evening like last night, Mawruss, FelixGeigermann should never buy from us again a dollar's worth more goods. That's all I got to say. "

"Why, what was the matter?" Morris asked. 

"Well, in the first place, Mawruss, to show you what a liar that fellerGeigermann is, he brings out a fiddle which he tells us is three hundredyears old. "

"Yow! Three hundred years old!" Morris exclaimed skeptically. "A fiddlethree hundred years old would be worth, the very least, a hundred or ahundred and fifty dollars. "

"That's what I told him, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I says to him if I wouldgot a fiddle which it is worth that much money I would quick sell it andbuy something which it is anyhow useful, like a diamond ring _oder_ ascarfpin. But Geigermann only laughs at me, Mawruss; he says he don'town the fiddle, Mawruss, but that somebody loaned it him. Even if hewould own it, he wouldn't take two hundred dollars for it. "

"My worries, if he owns the fiddle _oder_ not, Abe!" Morris commented. 

"Sure, I know, Mawruss; but that ain't the point. Afterward MozartRabiner comes in; and if I would be Felix Geigermann, Mawruss, and asalesman comes into my house and gets fresh with a pianner which theleast it stands Geigermann in is a hundred dollars, Mawruss, I wouldkick him into the street yet. "

"What is Mozart Rabiner doing there, Abe?" Morris inquired anxiously. 

Abe preserved a cheerful demeanour, although it was the circumstance ofMozart Rabiner's prominence at Geigermann's musicale that had renderedthe evening so unbearable. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he explained, "you don't suppose that Geigermann buysall his goods from us?"

Morris elevated his eyebrows gloomily. 

"I don't suppose nothing, Abe, " he said; "but once you let a shark likeRabiner get in with Geigermann, Klinger & Klein would give him theprivilege to cut our price till they run us right out of there. "

"It's an open market, Mawruss, " Abe said, "and anyhow I am doing all Ican to keep that feller's business. You would think so if you would ofbeen there last night, Mawruss. First a lady in one of them two-piecevelvet suits--afterward I see the jacket; a ringer for our styleforty-two-twenty, Mawruss--she gets up on the floor, Mawruss, and shehollers bloody murder, Mawruss. I never heard the like since thatItaliener girl which we got working for us on White Street catches herfinger in the buttonhole machine. Mozart Rabiner plays for her on thepianner, Mawruss; and when she gets through, the way Rabiner jollies heryou would think she would be buying goods for Marshall Field yet. Afterthat, Geigermann takes the fiddle and him and Moe Rabiner gets togetherby the pianner and for three quarters of an hour, Mawruss, they workaway like they was being paid for it. "

"Moe Rabiner gets paid for it, I bet yer, " Morris agreed. 

"What a noise them fellers make it, Mawruss!" Abe continued. "Honestly, I thought my head was busting; and when they get finished the lady whichdone the hollering asks 'em who the piece is by, Mawruss--and who do youthink Rabiner says?"

"How should I know who he says?" Morris retorted angrily. 

"Richard Strauss, " Abe replied. 

"Richard Strauss?" Morris asked. "You mean that feller Strauss ofKlipmann, Strauss & Bleimer, I suppose?"

"It must be the same feller, " Abe said. "Seemingly everybody there knowshim; and besides, Mawruss, that feller Strauss is another one of themmusical fellers too. Only the other day Klipmann tells me that fellerspends a fortune going on the opera with customers. "

"But I thought Klipmann's partner was called Milton Strauss, " Morrissaid. 

"Maybe it was Milton Strauss, " Abe continued. "Milton _oder_ Richard, Icouldn't remember. It was one of them up-to-date names anyhow; and, mindyou, Mawruss, that feller Rabiner has got the nerve to ask me if Ididn't like Strauss. What could I say? If that cut-throat Rabiner thinkshe is going to get me to knock a competitor in front of Geigermann he'smistaken. 'Sure I like him, ' I says; 'why not?' 'In that case, ' Moesays, 'we'll play some more of this. ' 'Go as far as you like, ' I says, and they kept it up till the elevator boy rings the bell and says a ladyon the top floor is sick. I don't blame her, Mawruss; I was pretty sickmyself. "

Morris nodded sympathetically. 

"So, then, Mawruss, " Abe continued, "Geigermann takes the fiddle againand shows it to us, Mawruss; and he says on the back is a ruby varnish. "

"Rubies is pretty high now, Abe, " Morris said; "carat for carat, rubiesis a whole lot more expensive as diamonds. "

"_Gewiss_, Mawruss, " Abe cried; "but I seen the back of the fiddle, Mawruss, and if the varnish on it was made from rubies, Mawruss, I wouldeat it. The fiddle was an ordinary fiddle like any other fiddle; onlyone thing I see, Mawruss--on the inside is a little piece from paper, y'understand, and printed on it is the name from some Italiener oranother, with some figures on it. Geigermann says it was stuck in therethree hundred years ago, when the fiddle was made. And you ought to seeMoe Rabiner, Mawruss. He looks at that fiddle for pretty near half anhour. He turns it upside down and he blows into it and he takes hisfinger and wets it and rubs on it, and he smells it, and _Gott weiss_what he don't do with it. "

"He's a dangerous feller, Abe, " Morris commented. "He don't never stopat nothing to sell goods. "

"Well, I wasn't much behind him, Mawruss, " Abe said. "When he smells it, I smell it. He wets his finger, I wet my finger. Everything what thatsucker does to that fiddle, I did. He couldn't get nothing on me. Mawruss. If he would offer to eat the fiddle, y'understand, I would gotjust so good appetite as he got it, Mawruss, and don't you forget it. Iain't going to let go so easy. "

"Might you couldn't help yourself maybe, " Morris commented. 

"You shouldn't worry, Mawruss, " Abe concluded. "I sold Felix Geigermannsince way before the Spanish War already, and I would sooner expect myown brother--supposing I got one--to turn us down as him. "

Despite Abe's optimism, however, the order for spring goods that FelixGeigermann bestowed on them a month later fell short of theirexpectations by over five hundred dollars. 

"Business couldn't be so good with Felix this year, Mawruss, " Abecommented. 

"Don't you jolly yourself, Abe, " Morris replied. "It ain't so much thatbusiness is bad with Felix as it is better with Klinger & Klein. Themtwo cut-throats ain't paying Rabiner good money for only playing thepianner. He's got to sell goods too. "

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe said. "Let him go ahead and _spiel_pianner till he's blue in the face. Sooner or later Geigermann wouldfind out what stickers them Klinger & Klein garments is, and then MoeRabiner couldn't sell him no more of them goods, not if he would be awhole orchestra already. "

 * * * * *

The personality of Aaron Shellak was simply thrown away on the garmenttrade. His lean, scholarly face, surmounted by a shock of wavy brownhair, would have assured his success as a virtuoso, and no one knew thisbetter than his brother, Professor Ladislaw Wcelak, under whose tuitionhe had struggled through the intricacies of the first and secondpositions. 

"If you would only forget you ain't got a pair of shears in your righthand, Aaron, " the professor said, "and listen to what I am telling you, in two years' time you are making more money than all the garmentcutters together. All you got to do is to play just halfway good. "

"I suppose you're a millionaire, ain't it?" Aaron rejoined. "And you canplay fiddle like a streak. " The professor heaved a great sigh as hepassed his hand over his bald head. 

"With your hair, Aaron, " he said, "I could make fifty thousand a year onconcert towers alone, to say nothing of two recitals up on Fifty-seventhStreet. But if a feller only got one arm, Aaron, he would better got ashow to be a fiddle virtuoso as if he would be bald. ". 

Thus encouraged Aaron persevered with his practice for some months; but, despite the patient instruction of his brother Louis the garmentcutter's wrist still handicapped him. 

"That's a legato phrase, " Louis Shellak cried impatiently, one night inmid-February. "With one bow you got to play it. "

"Which phrase are you talking about, " Aaron asked--"the one that goes'Ta-ra-reera, ta-ra-reera'?"

He sang the two measures in a clear tenor voice, whereat Louis snatchedthe violin from his brother's grasp and, seating himself at the piano, he struck the major triad of C natural with force sufficient to wreckthe instrument. 

"Sing 'Ah'!" he commanded. 

Aaron attacked the high C like a veteran and Professor Ladislaw Wcelakleaped from the piano stool with an inarticulate cry. Immediatelythereafter he secured a strangle-hold on his brother and kissed himBudapest fashion on both cheeks. 

"To-morrow night already you will commence lessons with the best teachermoney could buy, " he declared. 

"Whose money?" Aaron Shellak inquired, as he wiped away the marks of hisbrother's affection--"yours or mine?"

"Me--I ain't got no money, " Louis admitted. 

"Me neither, " Aaron said. He was the sole support of his mother andsisters, for Louis, as _chef d'orchestre_ in a Second Avenue restaurant, constantly anticipated his salary over _stuss_ or _tarrok_ in the rearof his employer's café. 

"How much would it take?" he asked Louis after a silence of severalminutes. 

Louis shrugged. 

"Who knows?" he replied. "Fifty dollars _oder_ a hundred, perhaps. "

Aaron nodded; and the next day, when he entered Potash & Perlmutter'splace of business, he carried with him his violin and bow in a blackleather case. Thus it happened that the strains of Godard's _Berceuse_saluted Abe as he stepped from the elevator that morning; and withoutremoving his coat he made straight for the cutting room. 

"_Koosh!_" he bellowed. "What are we running here, anyhow, Shellak--acloak-and-suit house _oder_ a theayter?"

Aaron hastily replaced the instrument in its case. 

"I am only showing it to Nathan, " he mumbled by way of explanation. "Might he would like to buy it maybe. "

"If you want to sell fiddles, Shellak, " Abe said, "do it outsidebusiness hours. That's all I got to say. "

He proceeded at once to the showroom, where Morris was peeling off hisovercoat. The latter greeted Abe with a sour nod. "I am sick and tiredof it, Abe, " he declared. "Everybody is stealing our business. "

"What d'ye mean, everybody's stealing our business?" Abe asked. 

"Last night I am sitting in the Harlem Winter Garden with FelixGeigermann, and Leon Sammet butts in on us and tells Geigermann he's gota cousin which he could play shello, and Geigermann says that he shouldcome around to the house next Tuesday and play it with him and Rabiner. "

Abe shrugged his shoulders. 

"My _tzuris_ if he does, Mawruss, " he said; "because while I don't knownothing about this here game, y'understand, a good way to lose acustomer is to play cards with him. "

"What are you talking nonsense, Abe?" Morris cried. "Shello ain't cards. A shello is a fiddle which you play it with your knees. "

"For my part he could play it with his nose, Mawruss, " Abe declaredhotly. "Do you mean to told me, Mawruss, that a business man likeGeigermann is going to buy a line of goods like Sammet Brothers got itjust because Leon Sammet's cousin plays a fiddle with his knees?"

"Yow! His cousin?" Morris exclaimed. "He's as much got a cousin which heplays the shello as I got one. He's going to give some greenhorn acouple of dollars to go with him to Geigermann's house and play thefiddle; and the first thing you know, Abe, Geigermann is buying from hima big bill of goods and all the time our orders gets smaller and smallertill we lose his trade altogether. "

Abe laughed mirthlessly and bit the end off his after-breakfast cigar. 

"If I would worry myself the way you do, Mawruss, every time acompetitor says 'Hello' to a customer of ours, " he said as he turnedaway, "I would gone crazy in the head _schon_ long since ago already. "

Nevertheless he pondered Leon Sammet's move all the morning, and afterMorris had gone to lunch he paced the showroom floor for more than aquarter of an hour in an effort to formulate some plan for regainingGeigermann's business. His reflections were at length interrupted by afaint scraping from the rear of the store. Once more Aaron Shellak wasentertaining the cutting-room staff with a pianissimo rendition ofGodard's _Berceuse_; but even as Abe tiptoed across the showroom tocrush the performance with an explosive "_Koosh!_" the melody ceased. 

"That's a genu-ine Amati, " Aaron said, "and you could see foryourself--inside here is the label. "

Abe stopped short. The word "Amati" brought back to him the scene ofFelix Geigermann's musicale, and his heart thumped unpleasantly as helistened to Aaron's exhibition of salesmanship. 

"Moreover, " Aaron continued, "here is the scroll which it is ever somuch finer as them other fiddles you could buy for fifty _oder_ sixtydollars. Look at the varnish on the back, Nathan--shines like rubies, ain't it?"

"What would I do with a fiddle, Aaron?" Nathan Schenkman, the shippingclerk, asked. 

"You I ain't saying at all, " Aaron said; "but you got a little boyNathan. "

"He ain't a year old yet, " Nathan interrupted. 

"Sure, I know, " Shellak went on; "but now is the time, Nathan. Youcouldn't begin too early. Look at Kubelik and Kreisler and all themfellers. When they was eating from a bottle already the old man give 'ema fiddle to play with, and to-day where are they? In one concert toweralone, Nathan, them fellers makes from fifty to a hundred thousanddollars. "

He paused so that Nathan might better apprehend the alluring prospect. 

"And I'll let you have it for a hundred and fifty dollars, Nathan, " heconcluded. "Ten dollars down and two dollars a week till paid. Nointerest nor nothing. "

At this juncture Abe burst into the cutting room. 

"_Nu_, Shellak!" he roared. "What are you trying to do? Skin a poorfeller like Nathan, which he got a wife and a child to support?"

"What d'ye mean, skin him?" Aaron retorted. "I ain't no crook, Mr. Potash. "

"That's all right, Shellak, " Abe went on. "I heard every word you aresaying. Come inside; I want to talk to you. "

Aaron's face blanched and he trembled visibly. 

"But, Mr. Potash----" he began. 

"Never mind!" Abe bellowed; "take that fiddle and all that _machshovos_you got there and come in here. "

Abe led the way to the front of the showroom, followed by thecrestfallen Shellak, who deposited fiddle, bow, and case on a sampletable. 

"Say, lookyhere, Shellak, " Abe said in kindly tones, "what the devil areyou trying to sell a _Schnorrer_ like that a good fiddle? Why don't yougive me a show?"

The blood surged suddenly to Aaron's face. 

"You!" he stammered. "Why, Mr. Potash, I never knew you was interestedin violins. "

"Sure; why not?" Abe replied. "Let me have a look at it. "

First he squinted into the right "eff" hole and he grunted in approvalas he spied the label, which read as follows:

 NICOLAUS AMATI CREMONENSIS Faciebat Anno 1670

"Do you know anything about them old violins?" Aaron asked anxiously. 

Abe smiled in a superior way. 

"Not a whole lot, Aaron, " he said, but by the time he had finished hisexamination Aaron became convinced that his employer was indeed one ofthe _cognoscenti_. First Abe turned the violin upside down andscrutinized the scroll, neck, belly, and back. Then he blew into the"eff" holes; and wetting his finger he rubbed the varnish. For fiveminutes he pursued the tactics of Mozart Rabiner and even added one ortwo fancy touches on his own account, until at length he laid down theinstrument with a profound sigh. 

"Always the same thing, Shellak, " he said; "people says it is a genu-ineand it ain't. "

Aaron took up his violin and looked at it through new eyes. 

"Why ain't it genu-ine?" he asked. 

"I should tell you why it ain't!" Abe exclaimed. "If you would know whatI know about them things, Shellak, you wouldn't ask me such a questionat all. Do you doubt my word?"

"Why should I doubt your word, Mr. Potash?" Aaron said. "In the insideis the paper and that's all I know about it. So, if you would give me ahundred and fifty dollars, Mr. Potash, you could keep the fiddle, bow, case _und fertig_. "

For some minutes they haggled over the bargain, and at length theyclosed at a hundred and twenty-five dollars, for which Abe gave Shellakhis personal check. 

[Illustration: "Do you know anything about them old violins?"]

"And you shouldn't say nothing to Mr. Perlmutter about it, " Abeconcluded, "because I want to make a present of it as a surprise to mypartner. "

 * * * * *

When Abe came downtown the following morning he wore so marked an air ofpleased mystery that Morris became irritated. 

"Let me in on this too, Abe, " he said. 

"Let you in on what, Mawruss?" Abe asked innocently. "I don't know whatyou mean at all. "

"You know very well what I mean, " Morris rejoined. "You ain't comingaround here grinning like a barn door for nothing. "

"I give you right about that, Mawruss, " Abe said. "I got in a good_Schlag_ at Leon Sammet and Moe Rabiner last night, Mawruss, I bet yer. I got from Geigermann a repeat order on them two-piece velvetsuits--seven hundred and fifty dollars; and do you know how I done it?"

"Chloroformed him, " Morris suggested ironically. 

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "Go ahead and joke if youwant to. Maybe I couldn't play the fiddle with my knees and maybe Idon't know nothing about _spieling_ pianners neither, y'understand; butI got a little gumption, too, Mawruss, and don't you forget it. "

He retired to the cutting room with a set expression on his face, asthough to imply that wild horses could not drag from him the secret ofFelix Geigermann's renewed patronage. 

For twenty minutes he remained firm in his resolve not to gratify hispartner's curiosity; and then as Morris continued to whistle cheerfullyover the sample-rack in the front of the loft, he returned to theshowroom. 

"Yes, Mawruss, " he said; "some fellers if they would do what I done withFelix Geigermann they wouldn't give their partner a minute's peace. Formonths together, Mawruss, they would throw it up to him. "

"What is the difference, Abe, if a salesman gets orders, how he gets'em, " Morris rejoined, "so long as he ain't padding his expenseaccount?"

"What d'ye mean, padding my expense account?" Abe cried. "A hundred andtwenty-five dollars the fiddle costed me and that's all I charge up. "

"The fiddle!" Morris exclaimed. "What fiddle?"

"The fiddle which I give Geigermann last night, " Abe continued; "and ifyou don't believe me you could ask Shellak. "

"Shellak?" Morris repeated. "What the devil are you talking about, Abe?"

"Yes, Shellak, " Abe went on, "the cutter. He comes round here yesterdaywith a fiddle, Mawruss, which he wants to sell it to Nathan Schenkman. So I give him a hundred and twenty-five dollars for it _und fertig_. "

"You give Shellak a hundred and twenty-five dollars?" Morris exploded. "Are you crazy, _oder_ what?"

"It was a genu-ine Amati, " Abe explained; "and so soon as I seen it, Mawruss, I thought to myself if them cut-throats could sell Geigermann abig bill of goods just by playing on fiddles, y'understand, what sort ofan order could I get out of him supposing I should give him a fiddleyet? So that's what I done, Mawruss; and he did, Mawruss, and I wasright. Ain't it?"

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris began slowly; "let me get this thingcorrect. You are paying Shellak a hundred and twenty-five dollars for afiddle which you are giving Geigermann. "

"You got it right, Mawruss, " Abe said. "It was a genu-ine Amati. "

"For a hundred and twenty-five dollars expenses you are getting an orderfor seven hundred and fifty dollars, Abe, " Morris said relentlessly;"and some fellers would throw it up to their partners for monthstogether yet. "

"It was a genu-ine Amati, Mawruss, " Abe repeated for the third time, "and for a genu-ine Amati, Mawruss, a hundred and twenty-five dollars isno price at all. "

"Sure, I know, Abe, " Morris said bitterly; "to you a hundred andtwenty-five dollars is nothing at all. We are made of money, Abe, ain'tit? What do you care you are spending a hundred and twenty-five dollarsfor a fiddle when for seventy-five dollars on Lenox Avenue and a Hundredand Sixteenth Street, with my own eyes I seen it, you could buy a squarepianner with a stool and scarf yet, as good as new. If you want to_schenk_ the feller something, why didn't you told me? What for apresent is a fiddle, Abe, when for half the money we could give him apianner yet?"

Abe hung his head in embarrassment. 

"But Mawruss, " he said, "it was a genu-ine Amati. "

For one brief moment Morris choked with rage. 

"Genu-ine hell!" he roared, and plunged away to the office. 

For the remainder of the morning Abe went about his work in crestfallensilence, although Morris, after subjecting Geigermann's order to alittle cost bookkeeping on the back of an envelope broke once more intoa cheerful whistle. 

"Well, Abe, " he said at twelve o'clock, "what is _vorbei_ is _vorbei_. It ain't no use crying over sour milk, so I am going out to lunch. "

"What d'ye mean, sour milk, Mawruss?" Abe retorted. "The sour milk isall on your side, Mawruss, because I am telling you it was a genu-ineAmati. "

"All right, Abe, " Morris said, as he rang for the elevator; "you told methat _schon_ twenty times already. I wouldn't give you two dollars forall them genu-ine fellers' fiddles in creation; and that's all there isto it. "

With this ultimatum he stepped into the elevator and five minutesafterward he sat at a table in Hammersmith's restaurant and beguiledwith a dill pickle the interval between the giving and filling of hisorder. At the table next to him sat an animated group, of which LouisKleiman was the centre. 

"Yes, sirree, sir!" Louis declared, in defiance of the law of scandaland libel; "six months I would give the feller at the outside. A fellercouldn't attend to business if he would set up till all hours of thenight playing fiddle with that lowlife, Rabiner. That ain't all yet, neither! Yesterday he pays for a fiddle three thousand dollars. "

"For a fiddle three thousand dollars!" cried one of the group, and thegood half of a dill pickle fell from Morris's limp grasp. 

"That's what I said, " Louis continued; "for three thousand dollars yethe is buying a fiddle. With my own eyes I seen it in the paper thismorning; and when a feller puts three thousand dollars into a fiddle, y'understand, he could kiss himself good-by with his business. "

At this juncture Morris beckoned to the waiter. 

"Say, " he said hoarsely, "never mind that roast spring lamb and stuffedtomatoes. Bring me instead a rye-bread tongue sandwich and a cupcoffee. "

After the waiter had gone Morris settled back in his chair and listenedonce more to the conversation at the next table. 

"All right; then I'm a liar, " he heard Louis say. "I tell you I got thepaper in my overcoat pocket right now. "

Louis rose from his seat and securing the morning paper from hisovercoat he read aloud the following item:

 PAYS HEAVILY FOR AMATI VIOLIN

 Mrs. Helene Karanyi, widow of the celebrated violinist, Bela Karanyi, has sold her husband's favourite Amati at a price said to be over three thousand dollars. The purchaser is Felix Geigermann, who said yesterday that the violin had been in his possession for some time, and that there was no doubt of its authenticity. It was presented to Karanyi by the late Prince Ludovic Esterhazy, whose collection of Cremona violins, now preserved by his son, is said to be the finest in the world. Mr. Geigermann is the well-known Harlem dry-goods merchant. 

Louis Kleiman folded the paper and laid it on the table. 

"That's the way it goes, boys, " he said in heightened tones, for by thistime he had caught sight of Morris. "A new beginner comes to you and yougive him a little line of credit, y'understand, and pretty soon he isbuying more and more goods till he gets to be a big _macher_ like FelixGeigermann. Then either one of two things happens to you: Either hebegins to think you are too small for him and he turns around and buysgoods from some other sucker, y'understand, _oder_ he goes to work andthrows away his money left and right on oitermobiles _oder_ fiddles, andsooner or later he busts up on you; and that's the way it goes. "

"You shouldn't worry yourself, Kleiman, " Morris cried, turning around inhis chair. "Felix Geigermann ain't going to fail just yet a while. "

"Me worry?" Kleiman retorted. "For my part, Felix Geigermann could failto-morrow yet; he don't owe me one cent, nor never would. I ain'tlooking to sell no goods to fiddlers, Perlmutter. I am dealing only withmerchants. "

"Furthermore, " Morris went on, "if Felix Geigermann hears it you aremaking a break like this--that he's going to fail yet, and all sorts ofcrooks you are calling him, Kleiman--he would sue you in the courts fora hundred thousand dollars yet. From a big mouth a feller could gethimself into a whole lot of trouble. "

Kleiman scrambled hastily to his feet and seized his hat. 

"What are you talking nonsense, Perlmutter?" he exclaimed. "I ain't saidnothing out of the way about Geigermann. You are the one what's puttingthe words into my mouth already. Did you ever hear anything like it!--Iam saying Geigermann is going to fail? An idee! I never said nothing ofthe kind. All I am saying is what is right here in the paper, black onwhite; and if you don't believe me you could read it for yourself. "

He handed the paper to Morris; and, as the latter commenced to read overthe Geigermann paragraph, Kleiman and his friends slunk hurriedly out ofthe restaurant. For nearly half an hour Morris pored over the newspaper;then he choked down the sandwich and swallowed the coffee, which by thistime was cold. 

 * * * * *

"Admitting I am only your partner, Mawruss, " Abe began as Morris enteredthe showroom a few minutes later, "don't I got to eat too? And in thesecond place, Mawruss, if you got to make a hog of yourself, do it atdinner-time at home, because when a feller takes up a whole hour havinghis lunch, Mawruss, he naturally stuffs himself so full that he ain't nogood for the rest of the day. "

A lump in Morris's throat, which may or may not have been the tonguesandwich, prevented him from replying; but at last he swallowed it and, after removing his hat and coat, he carefully unfolded the paper. 

"Don't hurry out to lunch, Abe, " he said. "I could save you money. I gotsomething to tell you which it would take away your appetite so youwouldn't want even a cup coffee. "

Abe paused with his hand on the hatrack. 

"What d'ye mean?" he demanded. 

"I mean I am eating only a tongue sandwich and a cup coffee inHammersmith's just now, " Morris went on, "and who should I see at thenext table but Louis Kleiman of Kleiman & Elenbogen. That's a dirtylowlife, that feller, Abe! A cut-throat like him should be making moneyin business! Honestly, Abe, when I see decent, respectable fellers like----"

"Say, lookyhere, Mawruss, " Abe said, "let me go to my lunch, will you?I'm hungry. "

"Hungry, _sagt er_!" Morris retorted. "A feller makes a god of hisstomach, y'understand, and his business is nothing at all. For all youcare, Abe, our whole trade could fail on us, so long as you could eat. Everybody says the same thing; the feller's ----"

"Do me the favour, Mawruss, " Abe begged; "tell me about it afterward. All I am eating for my breakfast is one egg, so sure as you're standingthere. "

"All right, Abe; I wouldn't keep you no longer, " Morris said. "If youcould got it in your heart to eat, when one of your best customers isbusting up on you, go ahead. "

"Our best customer?" Abe cried--"Mandelberger Brothers & Company?"

"_Geh weg_, you fool!" Morris exclaimed angrily. "Why should amillionaire concern like Mandelberger Brothers & Company got to fail?You talk like a lunatic. "

Once more Abe seized his hat. 

"I got enough of your nonsense, Mawruss, " he said, starting for theelevator. 

"Wait!" Morris cried, grabbing him by the arm. "Did you ship any goodsto Felix Geigermann yet?"

"Felix Geigermann?" Abe repeated. "Is that the feller?"

Morris nodded, and this time Abe hung up his hat and sat down heavily inthe nearest chair. 

"Who says he's going to fail?" he asked. 

"Everybody says so, " Morris replied; "even in the papers they got it. "

He handed Kleiman's paper to Abe and indicated the paragraph with ashaking forefinger. 

"Where does it say he is going to fail?" Abe asked after he had read itover hastily. 

"Where does it say it?" Morris cried. "Why, if a feller goes to work andpays three thousand dollars for a fiddle, Abe, while he only got abusiness rated twenty-five to thirty thousand, credit fair, ain't it asplain as the nose on your face he must got to fail?"

Once more Abe read over the paragraph and then the paper fell from hishands to the floor. 

"Why, Mawruss, " he gasped, "it says here he is paying three thousanddollars for an Amati which he had in his possession for some time. Thatmust be the very fiddle which he is playing on with Moe Rabiner. "

"My _tzuris_ if it is _oder_ it ain't, " Morris commented. "Whatdifference does that make to us, Abe?"

Abe's face was white and large beads of perspiration stood out on hisforehead as he replied. 

"The difference ain't much, Mawruss, " he said slowly. "Only if FelixGeigermann pays three thousand for the fiddle which he already got itand we are giving him for nothing another fiddle, which is the selfsame, identical article, Mawruss, then we are out three thousand dollars--andthat's all the difference it makes to us!"

For two minutes Morris regarded his partner with a glassy stare. 

"Do you mean to told me, Abe, that that there fiddle which you bought itfrom Shellak is the same identical article like Geigermann pays threethousand dollars for?"

Abe nodded. 

"You couldn't tell the difference between 'em, Mawruss, " he declared. "Even inside the label is the same--the same name and everything. "

Morris took off his hat and coat methodically and hung them up on therack. 

"So, Abe, " he commenced, "you are giving to a _Schnorrer_ likeGeigermann a genu-ine who's-this violin, which it is worth threethousand dollars!"

"How should I know it is worth three thousand?" Abe said. 

"Everybody knows that one of them genu-ine feller's violins is worththree thousand dollars, " Morris thundered. "I'm surprised to hear you, you should talk that way. "

"Shellak didn't know it for one, " Abe interrupted, "otherwise why shouldhe sell to us for a hundred and twenty-five dollars a fiddle worth threethousand dollars?"

"What should a greenhorn like Shellak know about such things?" Morrissaid. 

"Don't you fool yourself, Mawruss. If Shellak finds out he is getting ahundred and twenty-five for a fiddle worth three thousand, he's gotgumption enough to sue us in the courts yet, and don't you forget it. "

"Why should he sue us, Abe?" Morris asked. "A bargain is a bargain, ain't it?"

"Sure I know, Mawruss; but I told the feller the fiddle wasn't genu-ine, y'understand, when all the time I knew it was genu-ine. "

"Might you are mistaken maybe, Abe, " Morris broke in. "Might the fiddleain't genu-ine. "

"What d'ye mean, ain't genu-ine? I am telling you the label was insideand even the lot number is the same. "

"The lot number?"

"Sure, the lot number. Sixteen-seventy, I think it was; and the onlything for us to do, Mawruss, is we should fix up some scheme to get thatfiddle back from Geigermann; and that's all there is to it. "

"Well, go ahead, Abe, " Morris said. "Go ahead and see him thisafternoon. "

For the third time Abe put on his hat. 

"First and foremost I would go out and get a bite to eat, Mawruss, " hesaid. "What good would it do me to get the fiddle back if I would diefrom starvation first?"

 * * * * *

Although the manufacturers of mechanical piano-players had neversolicited Felix Geigermann's photograph for half-tone reproductions inthe advertising section of anybody's magazine, he dressed as though heexpected the immediate arrival of the man with the camera--that is tosay, he wore his hair after Mahler, while Hollman and Moritz Rosenthalcontributed to the pattern of his moustache. Moreover, he assumed aPaderewski tuft, a rolling collar that exposed the points of his rightand left clavicles, a Windsor tie, and, to preserve the unity of hischaracterization, a slight nondescript foreign accent, despite thecircumstance that he was born in Newark, N. J. All this, however, wasnot an idle pose on Felix's part. He merely applied to a dry-goods storethe business principles of the successful virtuoso, and he had foundthem so efficacious that personally he sold more garments than any sixof his clerks. He was no less astute in the buying end of the business;for in pitting Sammet Brothers, Klinger & Klein, and Potash & Perlmutteragainst one another he not only secured better terms of credit, but hefound that it materially added to the quality of their garments. 

Thus, had Abe but known it, his seven-hundred-and-fifty-dollar orderproceeded not from the gift of the violin, but from the circumstancethat the velvet suits had sold like hot cakes; and when he entered theHundred and Twenty-fifth Street store that afternoon Felix greeted himeffusively. He wanted that second order badly, and if cordiality couldaccelerate its shipment he was willing to try it with Abe. 

"Ah, _mon ami_, " he cried. "Come inside my office. What good wind blowsyou here?"

Abe scowled. All this enthusiasm betokened but one thing--the violin wasa genuine Amati, after all. He sat down slowly and bit the end off alarge cigar. 

"The fact is, Felix, " he began, "for myself I don't care, y'understand, but you know Mawruss Perlmutter, what a crank that feller is, Felix; andso I am coming up here to ask you something for a question. "

"Fire away, Abe; you couldn't feaze me none, " Felix replied in theaccents of Newark, N. J. 

"Well, Felix, it's like this, " Abe went on: "If we would be sellinggoods to J. B. Morgan, y'understand, and Mawruss here he is buying foreight dollars a fur overcoat--understand me--he right away would wantanother statement. "

Felix nodded. "Nowadays you can't be too cautious, " he agreed. 

"So, this morning, in the paper, " Abe continued, "Mawruss reads you arebuying for three thousand dollars a fiddle and----"

"But, Abe, " Felix interrupted, "it was a genuine Amati. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe said; "but yesterday I myself am bringing you agenu-ine Amati and I didn't pay no such figure for it. "

Felix looked carefully at Abe's stolid face for some gleam of humour;and then he broke into a fit of laughter so violent that Abe suspectedit to be a trifle forced. 

"All right, Felix, " he grumbled; "maybe you think it is a joke, but justthe same I am telling you I paid for that fiddle only two hundreddollars. "

Felix stopped laughing and wiped his eyes. 

"Well, I'm sorry, Abe, " he said seriously. "A feller should never look agift horse in the teeth, Abe; but that fiddle ain't worth a cent morethan a hundred at the outside. "

"Do you mean to say it ain't a genu-ine Amati?" Abe asked angrily. 

"Why, I don't mean to say anything, Abe, " Felix began; "but there areAmatis and Amatis. Some of them are worth little fortunes and others arevery ordinary-like. "

"Say, lookyhere, Felix, " Abe cried, "don't fool with me. Either thatfiddle is or it ain't a genu-ine Amati. Ain't it?"

Felix paused. He wanted those velvet suits badly, and it began to lookas though there would be a delay in the shipment. 

"What is all this leading to, Abe?" he began pleasantly. "If there'sanything troubling you speak right up and I'll try to straighten itout. "

Abe shifted his cigar in his mouth and made the plunge. 

"What is the use beating bushes around, Felix?" he said. "Yesterday I amgiving you a fiddle, ain't it? Inside it says the fiddle is a genu-ineAmati. What? _Schon gut_ if that fiddle is a genu-ine Amati it is worththree thousand dollars, ain't it? Because if it ain't, then you arestuck with the other fiddle which you bought it. And if it is worththree thousand, then we are stuck by giving you the fiddle, ain't it? Sothat's the way it goes. "

Felix nodded. It was a delicate situation, in which his credit and theshipment of the suits seemed to be imperilled. To declare flatly thatAbe's gift was a bogus Amati might offend him seriously, while to admitthat it was genuine, but only worth one hundred dollars, was to fosterAbe's notion that he, Felix, had wasted three thousand dollars on asimilar violin. 

"I want to tell you something, Abe, " he began at last. "There's nothingto this business of selling goods by making presents, and I for onedon't believe in it. So I'll tell you what I'll do. Come up here to thestore to-morrow morning, and I'll get the fiddle from my house and giveit back to you. "

Abe's scowl merged immediately into a wide grin. 

"I don't want the fiddle back, Felix, " he said, "but my partner, y'understand, he is the one which is always----"

"Say no more, Abe, " Felix cried. "All I want is you should ship thatorder; and tell your partner, if he is scared I am spending my moneyfoolishly, he can have a new statement whenever he wants it; and I'llswear to it on a truckload of Bibles. "

When Abe returned to his place of business that afternoon he expected tofind Morris pacing up and down the showroom floor, the picture ofdistracted anxiety. Instead he was humming a cheerful melody as he piledup two-piece velvet suits. 

"Well, Abe, " he said, "you have went on a fool's errand, ain't it?"

"What d'ye mean, fool's errand?" Abe demanded. 

"Why, I mean I knew all along that fiddle of yours was a fake; andanyhow, Abe, I seen Milton Strauss, of Klipmann, Strauss & Bleimer, andwhat d'ye suppose he told it me, Abe?"

Abe shrugged angrily. 

"If you must got to get it off your chest before I tell you whatGeigermann told to me, Mawruss, " he said, "go ahead. "

"Well, I seen Milton Strauss, Abe, " Morris went on calmly, "and he saysto me that he knows for a positive fact that Felix Geigermann could havesold that fiddle of his for three thousand five hundred dollars beforehe even pays for it yet. Strauss says that Felix is all the time buyingup old fiddles for a side line, and if he makes a cent at it he makes acouple thousand dollars a year. Furthermore, Abe, he says that ifanybody's got a genu-ine who's-this fiddle, he wouldn't let it go for nohundred and twenty-five dollars, and the chances is you are paying afancy figure for a cheap popular-price line of fiddles. "

Abe hung up his hat so violently that he nearly knocked a hole in thecrown. 

"In the first place, Mawruss, " he began, "it was your idee I should goup there and get the fiddle back, and in the second place I am tellingyou with my own eyes I seen that fiddle and it is the selfsame, identical article--name, lot number and everything--which that fellerGeigermann refuses thirty-five hundred dollars for. "

He scowled at his partner in anticipation of a cutting rejoinder. 

"But anyhow, that ain't neither here nor there, " he continued as Morrisremained silent. "We would quick find out for ourselves what the fiddlereally is, because to-morrow morning I am going around to the store andGeigermann gives me the fiddle back. "

Morris paused in the folding of a velvet skirt. 

"I wouldn't do that, Abe, if I was you, " he said. "What is the usegiving presents and taking 'em back again? You could make from a felleran enemy for life that way. "

"Sure, I know Mawruss. An enemy for life is one thing, Mawruss, butthirty-five hundred dollars ain't to be sniffed at neither, y'understand. "

"_Schmooes_, Abe!" Morris cried. "The fiddle ain't worth eventhirty-five hundred pins. "

Following this observation there ensued a controversy of over an hour'sduration, at the end of which Morris compromised. 

"Say, listen here to me, Abe!" he declared. "You say the fiddle is worthit and I say it ain't. Now if I am right and we take the fiddle back, then we are acting like a couple of cheap yokels, ain't it? _Aber_ ifyou are right, Abe, then we are out thirty-five hundred dollars. Sowhat's the use talking, Abe? Only one thing we got to do. We got to finda feller which he could right away tell whether the fiddle is _oder_ notis genu-ine--just by looking at it, y'understand. This feller we got tosend up to Geigermann's house to look at the fiddle to-night yet, and ifhe says the fiddle is, Abe, then we would take it back. _Aber_ if hesays the fiddle ain't, Abe, then, Geigermann could keep the fiddle _undfertig_. "

Abe nodded slowly. 

"The idee is all right, Mawruss, " he said; "but in the first place, Mawruss, where could we find such a feller, and in the second place, ifwe did found him, Mawruss, what excuse would we give Geigermann forsending him up there in the third place?"

Morris scratched his head. 

"Well, for that matter, Abe, if we found such a feller, we could sendhim up there to say that he hears from you that you are giving away sucha Who's-this fiddle to Geigermann, and that the feller would like to buyit off of him. "

"And then, Mawruss?" Abe asked. 

"And then, " Morris went on, "Geigermann shows the feller the fiddle, y'understand, and if it is worth it _oder_ it isn't worth it the fellersays nothing to Geigermann, but he comes back and reports to us. "

Abe nodded again. 

"If I was to tell you all the weak points of that scheme, Mawruss, " hesaid, "I could stand here talking till my tongue dropped out yet. Butall I got to say is, Mawruss, the idee is yours, and you should go aheadand carry it out. Me, I got nothing to say about it either one way orthe other. "

 * * * * *

At seven that evening, while Professor Ladislaw Wcelak was washing downa late breakfast with a bottle of beer, there came a violent knocking atthe hall door. The professor answered it in person, for Aaron was busilyengaged over Concone's vocalizations in the front parlour and the othermembers of the family were washing dishes in the rear. 

"_Nu, Landsmann!_" Ladislaw cried. "Ain't you working to-night?"

The newcomer was none other than Emil Pilz, _Konzertmeister_ of thePalace Theatre of Varieties, if that dignified term may be applied tothe first violin of an orchestra of twenty. 

"I am and I ain't, " Emil replied. "I've got a job, Louis, which it wouldtake me till nine o'clock, so be a good feller and substitute for me atthe theayters till I am coming back. "

"And who would substitute for me, Emil?" the professor asked. 

"That's all right, " Emil replied. "I stopped in on my way over and Iseen old man Hubai. He ain't _shikker_ yet, so I told him he should goover and fiddle a couple _czardas_ till you come, and to tell the bossyou got a _Magenweh_ and would be a little late. Me, I am going uptownto look at a fiddle. I got the job through an old pupil, Milton Strauss, which he says a feller by the name Potash gives away a fiddle which hebought, and now he thinks it's a genuine Amati. So I should please go upand look at it; and if it is _oder_ it isn't, I get ten dollars. "

"Who's this feller Potash?" the professor asked, and Emil shrugged. 

"What difference does that make?" he said. "He gives a hundred andtwenty-five dollars for the fiddle only a couple days ago. What d'yewant to know for?"

"Oh, nothing, " the professor replied; "only my brother Aaron sold to afeller by the name Potash the other day a fiddle which I myself boughtfrom old Hubai a couple years ago for fifteen dollars yet; and if that'sthe one you are talking about, Emil, you should quick go up to thetheayter and forget about it. Because, Emil, if that fiddle is an Amati, you are a Kubelik and I am a Kreisler. "

"Sure, I know, Louis, " Emil agreed; "but just the same I got to go upthere to make the ten, so if you would do me the favour and _spiel_ forme till half-past nine you could get anyhow three dollars of it. "

"I am willing, " the professor said; and ten minutes later he was on hisway up to the Palace Theatre of Varieties. 

It was precisely half-past nine, while a tabloid drama in progress onthe stage rendered the presence of the orchestra unnecessary, that EmilPilz returned. 

"_Nu_ Emil, " Louis said as they stood in the corridor leading to thestage entrance, "did you seen the Amati?"

He grinned in humorous anticipation of Emil's answer. 

"Yes, I did seen it, " Emil replied, "and it's a very elegant, grandmodel. "

"Sure, " the professor said; "made in Bavaria with an ax. "

"Don't you fool yourself, Louis, " Emil retorted. "That's an elegantinstrument from Nicolo Amati's best period. If it's worth a cent it'sworth three thousand dollars. "

"_Schmooes_, Emil!" Louis cried. "What are you trying to do?--kid me?"

"What d'ye mean, kid you?" Emil asked. "I should never stir from thisspot, Louis, if that ain't an Amati. It's got a tone like gold, Louis. "

For a brief interval Louis stared at his informant. 

"Do you mean to told me, Emil, that that fiddle is a real, genu-ineAmati?"

"Listen here to me, Louis, " Emil declared; "if I wouldn't be sure thatit was genu-ine why should I got such a heart that I would act that wayto that feller Potash? When--so sure as you are standing there, Louis--when I told him it was a genu-ine Amati he pretty near got a fitalready; and as for his partner by the name Perlmutter, he hollered so Ithought he was going to spit blood already. "

Louis licked his dry lips before making any reply. 

"So, then, I am paying fifteen dollars for a fiddle which it is agenu-ine Amati, " he said, "and that brother of mine which he ain't gotno more sense as a lunatic lets it go for a song already. "

"Well, I couldn't stop to talk to you now, Louis, " Emil said. "I mustgot to get on the job. I am going to be to-morrow morning, ten o'clock, at this here Potash & Perlmutter's, and if you want to you could meet methere with old man Hubai. "

"Old man Hubai!" Louis cried. "What's he got to do with it?"

"He's got a whole lot to do with it, Louis, " Emil said. "A feller likehim sells you a three-thousand-dollar violin for fifteen dollars whichhe ain't got a penny in the world, y'understand, and I should stand byand see him get done!"

Professor Wcelak hung his head and blushed. 

"Also, Louis, " Emil concluded, "I just rung him up at the café, and hesays whatever he gets out of it I get half. "

 * * * * *

When Morris Perlmutter arrived at Felix Geigermann's store the nextmorning he showed the effects of a restless night and no breakfast; forhe had found it impossible either to eat or sleep until he had his handson the violin. 

"Mr. Geigermann went out for a minute, Mr. Potash, " a floorwalkerexplained; "but he said I should show you right into his office, Mr. Potash. "

"My name ain't Potash, " Morris replied, "that's my partner, which hecouldn't get up here on account he is sick. "

"That's all right, " the floorwalker said reassuringly. "Just step thisway. "

He conducted Morris to Geigermann's office. 

"Have a seat, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said; but the words fell on deaf ears, for as soon as he entered the room Morris descried the violin, whichrested on top of Geigermann's desk. He pounced on it immediately, andturning it over in his hand he examined it with the minutest care. Atlength he discerned the label inside the "eff" hole. It was curling awayfrom the wood and appeared to be ready to drop off, so that it was aneasy matter for Morris to impale it on his scarfpin. By dint of a littlescraping he managed to draw one edge of it through the "eff" hole andthe next moment he was examining the faded printing. Then he turned thelabel over and in one corner he discovered an oval mark. Simultaneouslythe door opened and Geigermann entered. 

Morris thrust the label into his pocket and turned to Geigermann with anamiable smile. Moreover, his pallor had given place to a pronouncedflush and he looked nearly five years younger than when he walked intothe store just ten minutes before. 

"Hello, Felix!" he cried, holding out his hand. "How's the boy?"

"Fine, " Felix said. "Where's Abe?"

"He couldn't get here on account he is sitting up late again last night, and, of course, Felix, he is sick. But anyhow, Felix, I am glad he ain'tcoming. "

"Why so?" Felix asked. 

"Because you never seen such a feller in your life, Felix, " Morris wenton. "Always worrying and always kicking. First he gives you a fiddle, then he wants to take it back again. With me it is different. What do Icare if the fiddle is or it ain't one of them genu-ine Who's This's?Once you give a thing you give a thing, ain't it? And I don't care whatexperts says nor nothing. "

Felix Geigermann blushed. When Emil Pilz had called on him the nightbefore he had scented the object of the visit and had exhibited notAbe's gift but the Karanyi Amati. He had no doubt that Pilz communicatedto Potash & Perlmutter the result of his call immediately after itsconclusion, and he felt touched and humbled by Morris's generousbehaviour. 

"Morris, " he said, "I did you a big injury. I didn't think you felt thatway about it; so when that expert called on me last night I didn't showhim Abe's fiddle at all--I showed him the other one, thethree-thousand-dollar fiddle. "

Morris's grin became a trifle broader. 

"That don't worry me none, Felix, " he declared. "I am glad you shouldkeep the fiddle if it should be worth ten thousand dollars even. A giftis a gift, Felix. "

"That's very generous of you, Morris, I must say, " Felix replied, "and Iwould keep the violin. I would even do more, Morris. I was going to giveKlinger & Klein an order for some of their three-piece broadcloths, butI changed my mind. I will give it to you instead; and if you would be inthis afternoon, Morris, I will go downtown and pick 'em out. "

Once more Morris wrung his customer's hand. Before proceeding downtown, he sought the nearest dairy restaurant and made tremendous inroads uponits stock of eggs and coffee. It was almost ten o'clock before hereached his place of business, and as he stepped out of the elevator hewas greeted by a roar of voices approximating the effect of awell-managed mob scene in a capital-and-labour drama. 

Old man Hubai stood in the middle of the showroom; and with clenchedfists waving in the air he appealed to heaven to witness that he was apoor man and spoke nothing but the Hungarian tongue. Hence he was at themercy of such ruffians as Pilz and Wcelak, whose right name he averredto be Kohn. Following this he swore by his mother that he had paid athousand kronen for the violin, and _da capo_ from the exposition of hispoverty. Simultaneously Professor Ladislaw Wcelak dwelt on the economicaspect of the matter. In stentorian tones he declared Abe's purchase ofthe violin to be another example of capital sitting upon the neck oflabour, and he prophesied the rapid approach of the Social Revolution, with sundry references to bloodsuckers, cut-throats and Philistines. 

Emil Pilz, Aaron, and Abe Potash himself added to the general din in athree-cornered discussion of the legal points involved. Emil contendedthat Aaron could replevin the violin upon the ground of Abe'smisrepresentation at the time of the purchase, and Abe denied it inYiddish and English, with emphatic profanity in both languages. 

Into this mêlée Morris hurled himself with a resounding "_Koosh!_"

"Are you all crazy, _oder_ what?" he demanded. 

"Well, " Abe cried, "where is it?"

Instantly there was a dead silence and all eyes rested on Morris. 

"Where's what?" Morris asked. 

"The Amati!" Emil Pilz cried; and Morris laughed aloud. 

"_Geh weg!_" he said. "You are an expert!"

Pilz shook his head in a bullying fashion. 

"Never mind if I am an expert _oder_ not, " he said. "Where is that Amatiwhich I seen it myself at Geigermann's house only last night?"

"It is at Geigermann's house to-day, " Morris replied. "Right now it isthere and it would stay there too, young feller, because that fiddlewhich you seen it is the one Geigermann paid three thousand dollars for. You seen the wrong fiddle, that's all. "

This statement seemed to rouse Aaron Shellak to hysterical frenzy. 

"Liar and thief!" he screamed. "Give me my fiddle. "

"One moment, Shellak, " Morris said, "before you put on your hat and coatand go home, which you shouldn't trouble yourself to come back at all. Iwant to show you something. "

He explored his waistcoat pocket. 

"Ain't this the label which was in your fiddle?" he asked, handing Aarona slip of paper. 

Aaron examined it carefully and nodded. 

"That other crazy Indian over there, " Morris continued, pointing to theprofessor, "look at this label. Ain't it the same which was in thefiddle?"

Ladislaw Wcelak examined the printed slip and he, too, nodded. 

Next, Morris turned to old man Hubai, who stood apart muttering tohimself. 

"Some one ask that old greenhorn if it's the same label that was in thefiddle. I don't know what he's got to do with this business but he mayknow, anyhow. "

Wcelak interpreted Morris's words and showed the label to the old man, who replied volubly in Hungarian. 

"He says he thinks it is, " the professor said, "but he doesn't know forsure. "

"Well, I know it is the same, " Morris retorted, "because I took it outthere myself this morning. "

Here Morris cleared his throat and assumed an air of such dignity, notto say majesty, that to Abe, it seemed as though he had never rightlyknown his partner until that moment. 

"Now look on the other side of that label, " Morris cried. 

Once more the label went the rounds and after Emil Pilz had examined ithe put on his hat and made for the elevator. Almost on tiptoe ProfessorLadislaw Wcelak followed him, while Aaron repaired to the cutting roomand packed up his belongings, preparatory to forsaking a career ascutter for one of music. 

At length only old man Hubai remained. 

"What are you waiting for?" Morris demanded. 

"Me poor man, " Hubai said. "Me no got carfare, me no got _Trinkgeld_, meno got nothing. "

Morris handed him a quarter and he shuffled off toward the backstairs. Meantime Abe staggered to his feet and passed his hand over hisforehead. 

"Tell me, Mawruss, " he said, "what is all this about?"

"It's just what I says just now, Abe, " Morris exploded. "That expertseen the wrong fiddle. The fiddle you gave Geigermann is no more threehundred years old than I am. "

"Why ain't it?" Abe asked. 

For answer Morris handed him the label. On the obverse side Abe read theinscription:

 Nicolaus Amati Cremonensis Faciebai Anno 1670. 

"Now turn it over, " Morris said; and Abe described on the reverse side afamiliar oval mark bearing the following inscription:

 Allied Printers Trades Council, Union Label, New York City. 

CHAPTER SEVEN

BROTHERS ALL

"What is the use talking, Mawruss?" Abe Potash protested. "The fellercouldn't even talk ten words English at all. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris Perlmutter admitted; "but he would quick learn. "

"Quick learn!" Abe exclaimed. "What d'ye mean, quick learn? Nowadays Inever seen the like! A greenhorn comes over here from Russland which heis such an iggeramus he don't know his own name, understand me; and heexpects right away to get a job in a cloak-and-suit concern uptown, where they would learn him how he should talk English and at the sametime pay him ten dollars a week. Actually, Mawruss, them fellers thinksthey are doing you a favour if they ruin ten garments a day on you inexchange for learning 'em English. Me, when I come over from Russland, Iwas _oser_ so _grossartig_. I was glad to got a job learning on shirtsin a subcellar and the boss boards me for wages. I got an elegant billof fare, too, I bet yer, Mawruss. Every day for dinner is salt herringand potatoes, except Sundays is onions extra. And did that feller learnme English, Mawruss? _Oser_ a _stück_. I must got to go to night schoolto learn English, Mawruss, and I did, Mawruss--and they learned me goodthere, Mawruss; and so this here feller you are talking about should dothe same. "

"We wouldn't got to learn him English, Abe, " Morris declared. "Thefeller is a bright, smart feller, and he could pick it up quick enough. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe rejoined; "and pick up a whole lot of other things, too, Mawruss. Silks and velvets and buttons them fellers picks up. "

"Not this feller, Abe, " Morris said. "He is from decent, respectablepeople in the old country. He is studying for a doctor already when hecomes over here, but he gets into trouble on account he belongs to apolitics society over there; so he must got to run away. The feller is abright feller, Abe. "

"I know them bright fellers, Mawruss--sit up till all hours of the nightin Canal Street coffee houses killing off grand dukes. Grand dukes isgot to make a living the same like anybody else, Mawruss; and anyhow, Mawruss, when a feller comes over here from Russland, Mawruss, he ain'tgot no business bothering his head about grand dukes. The way things isnowadays in the cloak-and-suit trade, Mawruss, a feller's got all hecould attend to holding on to his job. "

Morris shrugged. 

"Let's give the feller a show anyhow, Abe, " he rejoined; "and if hedon't soon make good we could quick fire him, y 'understand. "

"That's what you said about that feller Harkavy, which we give him a jobin our cutting room, Mawruss. All the time he works for us he acts so_dumm_ like a ten-year-old child; and so soon as we fire him, Mawruss, he goes to work by Kleiman & Elenbogen and turns out a couple of styles, which the least them highwaymen makes out of 'em is five thousanddollars. "

"How should I know what Harkavy could do with Kleiman & Elenbogen, Abe?"Morris cried. "You are the prophet of this here concern, Abe. Always youare predicting to me to-morrow what is going to happen yesterday. "

"Well, what's _vorbei_ is _vorbei_, Mawruss, " Abe retorted; "and if Iwould got to stand here all day and _schmooes_ with you, Mawruss, goahead and hire the feller. Only one thing I am saying to you, Mawruss:Don't tell me afterward that I was in favour of the feller from thestart; because I ain't. "

With this ultimatum, Abe glanced toward the cutting room, where sat atall, stooping figure, holding in his two hands a peaked cap. 

"Only to look at the feller gives me a _krank_, Mawruss, " Abe continued;"so, if you are going to hire him, Mawruss, do me the favour and givehim a couple dollars out of the safe so he should get a shave and ahaircut and a new hat. "

Morris nodded and started for the cutting room, when Abe called himback. 

"For my part, Mawruss, I don't care what people says, y'understand, " hedeclared; "but if we got a couple of them Thirty-fourth Street buyersaround here and they sees our workpeople is got such shoes which theirtoes is sticking out already, Mawruss, what do they think of us? Am Iright or wrong?"

"Sure, I know, " Morris said; "but----"

"But nothing, Mawruss, " Abe concluded. "For three dollars we should makesuckers out of ourselves! Don't stand there like a fool, Mawruss. Givethe feller five dollars; he should buy himself a pair of shoes and_fertig_. "

The transformation begun in Cesar Kovalenko by a haircut and a shave wasmade complete when Morris, accompanied by Kovalenko's cousin, went withhim to a retail clothing establishment. There Cesar discarded foreverhis cap, top boots and frogged overcoat and emerged--but for hisvocabulary--a naturalized citizen of the cloak-and-suit trade. 

"Now all he's got to do, " Morris said, "is to work hard and he wouldquick be making good wages. "

"Sure, sure!" the cousin replied. "At first, maybe he would be a little_dumm_ on account he is got a whole lot of experiences lately. "

"Experiences?" Morris asked. "What for experiences?"

"Well, in the first place, " the cousin proceeded, "two years ago he isstudying for a doctor in the University of Harkav, and next door to himone house by the other lives a feller which I ain't got nothing to sayagainst him, y'understand, only he goes to work and sends a package tothe chief of police, Mr. Perlmutter, which when they open the package, y'understand, inside is something g'fixed. Mind you, Mr. Perlmutter, Iwouldn't say nothing if it would be really the chief of police whichwould open the package, but always it is some poor _Schnorrer_ which thechief of police calls in from the street. This time it was a feller bythe name Levin, a decent, respectable, young feller--his father was a_Rav_. The old man is coming over here this week, I understand, Mr. Perlmutter--but when the chief of police sends out Levin in the backyardhe should open the package, understand me, that's the last any one seeseither from the package or either from Levin. "

Morris clicked his tongue sympathetically. 

"And what did they done to the feller which sends the package?" heasked. 

"Him, they didn't done nothing, Mr. Perlmutter, " the cousin replied;"but Cesar, here, they put it all on to him. First they are making himarrested, and the police pretty near kill him and the Cossacks take himfrom Harkav to Odessa he should get tried, and then they pretty nearkill him there; and if it wouldn't be that we are sending over to giveto a judge there a couple thousand rubles they would right away shoothim. Anyhow, Mr. Perlmutter, one year my cousin sits in prison there;and then we are sending over a couple thousand rubles more which we givethe feller what runs the prison, and so my cousin sneaks out of thereand he comes over here to this country. "

Morris gazed at the neatly clad figure who walked quietly along besidehim. 

"You wouldn't think it to look at him, " he said; "but, anyhow, I woulddo my best to see he gets a good show; and he would quick learn, I betyer. "

By this time they had reached Potash & Perlmutter's premises and thecousin shook hands warmly with Morris. 

"You got a good heart, Mr. Perlmutter, " he declared fervently; "and youwouldn't lose money supposing you did pay him eight dollars a week tostart. "

Morris paused before passing indoors. 

"Listen here to me, " he said. "Maybe I got a good heart and maybe Iain't, but your cousin starts on five dollars a week, understand me; andif he gets six dollars inside of a month he would got to earn it. "

Despite this assertion, however, it was barely three weeks before CesarKovalenko was earning and receiving eight dollars a week, for never intheir business experience had Abe and Morris employed a more intelligentworkman. Not only did he exhibit great promise as an assistant cutterbut he had acquired a knowledge of English sufficient for his needs. 

"If the feller keeps on, Abe, " Morris said, "we would soon got to givehim another raise. He's a wonder!"

Abe nodded gloomily. 

"You could get all the wonders you want, Mawruss, to learn cutting ateight dollars a week, " he said; "and supposing he does pick up Englishquick, Mawruss--a feller could be a regular Henry Shakespeare, y'understand, and he wouldn't be any better as a garment cutter on thataccount. Am I right or wrong?"

"Well, certainly it don't do no harm that Kovalenko understands a littleEnglish, " Morris commented. 

"Sure not, " Abe agreed satirically, "because the quicker he learnsEnglish, Mawruss, the quicker he would copy our styles and find a jobwith a competitor. Take this here Harkavy, for instance. Only thismorning I seen Felix Geigermann in the subway and he says that Kleiman &Elenbogen is showing, at a dollar less on the garment, a ringer for ourStyle 4022 which we sold him, Mawruss. Now, who tells them suckers howthey could cut down on the buttons and the lining, Mawruss, and put onepleat less in the skirt, Mawruss? I suppose you did or I did, Mawruss--ain't it?"

He paused for a reply, but none came. 

"And yet, Mawruss, " he concluded, "that feller Harkavy was a wonder too;and I suppose, Mawruss, the way he picked up English would be a bigconsolation to us, Mawruss, if a good customer like Geigermann leaves usand goes over to Kleiman & Elenbogen. "

Morris grunted scornfully. 

"You are all the time looking for trouble, Abe, " he said. "If we wouldlose as many customers as you are talking about, Abe, we wouldn't got adecent concern left on our books at all. You got to give Geigermanncredit for knowing a good garment when he sees it. "

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "Geigermann knows a good garmentwhen he sees it, but his customers don't; and if Geigermann could get, for a dollar less than ours, garments which looks like ours and is likeours, all but the buttons and the pleats in the skirt, we could kissourselves good-by with the business, no matter how many brightgreenhorns we got it in our cutting room. "

"_Geh weg!_" Morris exclaimed. "You don't know what you are talkingabout, Abe. "

Nevertheless, when Felix Geigermann, the well-known Harlem dry-goodsmerchant and violin dilettante, entered Potash & Perlmutter's showroomthe next morning Morris greeted him with some misgiving. 

"Hello, Felix!" he said. "Are you giving us a repeat order so soonalready on them 4022's?"

Felix shook his head. 

"I got a few words to say to Abe, Mawruss, " he replied. "Is he in now?"

Morris smiled amiably, although he was convinced that Felix's visitboded a cancellation of the 4022's. 

"He ain't in now, " he answered, "but if you wait a few minutes he'll beright back. "

He returned hastily to the office, for he knew that if Abe found them inconversation on his return he would impute the cancellation of the orderto something Morris had said. Thus Felix was left alone in the showroom, save for Cesar Kovalenko, who plied a feather duster industriously amongthe sample-racks. As he worked, Cesar whistled a Russian melody, halfsad, half cheerful, and Felix paused midway in the lighting of hiscigar. It was the opening theme in the second movement of Tschaikovsky'sFourth Symphony; and Cesar's rendition of it was not only true to pitchbut he managed to introduce certain nuances that to Felix proclaimed theborn musician. 

"What's that you are whistling?" he inquired; and Cesar smiled. 

"Tschaikovsky's Fourt' Symphony, " he replied, and then he reached aroundto his hip-pocket. "See; I am got music. "

He handed a paper-covered miniature score to Geigermann, who opened itat random. 

"Ha!" Felix exclaimed as his eye lit on a familiar phrase in the lastmovement. He hummed it over and Cesar joined him in a clear, musicalbarytone. They were thus engaged when a tall, broad-shoulderedindividual entered the showroom. 

"Sorry to interrupt you, gentlemen, " he said, "but is the boss in?"

"In the office back there, " Felix replied. 

"Will you tell him Mr. Gunther would like to see him?" the newcomercontinued. 

"I will if you want me to, " Felix said; "but I am here only a customer. "

"Excuse me, " Mr. Gunther apologized. "I was talking about the otherfeller. However----"

He proceeded to the office and engaged Morris in earnest conversationfor several minutes. They returned to the showroom just as Cesar wasreplacing the score in his hip-pocket. The motion was too much for Mr. Gunther, whose occupation made him nervous; and he plunged his hand intohis overcoat and brought out a shining metallic object. There was asharp struggle and Cesar Kovalenko leaned against the partition with hiswrists encircled by a pair of handcuffs. 

"Come along quiet, " said Mr. Gunther calmly, "or I'll knock yer blockawff. "

At this juncture the elevator door banged open and Abe came into theshowroom. 

"What is the matter here?" he cried. 

Mr. Gunther smiled. 

"I'm a United States deputy marshal, " he proclaimed, "and I'm arrestingthis guy under a warrant duly issued in the Southern District of NewYork. I've got a taxicab downstairs and if any of you gentlemen is afriend of the prisoner youse can come along to the marshal's office. "

Morris darted into the office and reappeared with his hat and coat. 

"Abe, " he said, "you stay here in the store. I would go down with him. "

Abe frowned. 

"One moment, Mawruss, " he cried. "It don't go so quick as all that. First, we would find out what he makes this young feller arrested for. "

The deputy marshal nodded. 

"That's all right, " he said. "You're entitled to know it. He's arrestedon the complaint of the Russian Consulate for something he did in Russiatwo years ago. "

"In Russia!" Abe exclaimed. "Two years ago! Mawruss, do me a favour. Youstay in the store and I would go with him. "

Felix Geigermann placed his hand on Abe's arm. 

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " he said. "I'll tell you the truth. I am prettybusy to-day here to cancel them 4022's; but now I don't care at all. Youcould ship them goods if you want to, Abe; but one thing I ask you as afavour--let me go with him. I don't care what the other feller says. Iam just now talking to this here young feller and if he done anything inRussia, understand me, I would eat it. So you stay here and tend tobusiness and I would go with him. "

Morris drew on his overcoat with force sufficient to rip thesleeve-lining. "Nathan, the shipping clerk, could tend the store, Abe, "he declared, "and we'll all go with him. "

 * * * * *

"In the first place, Mawruss, " Abe said, after they had returned fromthe United States Commissioner's office, where Cesar Kovalenko had beenarraigned and committed without bail to the Tombs--"in the first placewhat are we bothering our heads about this young feller? Of course, whenI was down there, Mawruss, and see that feller from the Russiancounsellor's office, which he is got a face, Mawruss, hard like iron, y'understand, I didn't say nothing; but the way you are going to workand telephoning to Henry D. Feldman and everything, Mawruss--before wewould get through with him it would cost us anyhow a couple hundreddollars. "

"Geigermann says he would go half, " Morris said. 

"Sure, I know, Mawruss; but just because Geigermann acts like a sucker, Mawruss, why should we get ourselves into it too? Furthermore, Mawruss, how do we know Geigermann would go half? He's that kind of feller, Mawruss, that when he says something he don't take it so particular heshould stick to it, Mawruss. One day he gives us an order and the nextday cancels it, Mawruss--and that's the kind of a man he is. "

"He didn't cancel it, Abe, " Morris cried. "He was going to cancel it, but he changed his mind. "

"Sure, he changed his mind, " Abe interrupted; "and what is going tohinder him changing his mind on this other proposition, Mawruss? Youcould take it from me, Mawruss, when the time comes he should pay up, understand me, it'll be a case of _nix wissen_--and don't you forgetit. "

Morris shrugged impatiently. 

"_Nu_, Abe, " he said; "what could we do? Once in a while we couldn'thelp ourselves, y'understand. Should we let this poor greenhorn be sentback to Russland, which he ain't got a relative in the world, understandme, except his cousin, which he is just as poor as Kovalenko?"

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe declared. "I ain't kicking we shouldn'thelp the feller. All I am saying is there's lots of our people whichthey got more dollars as we got dimes. Take Moses M. Steuermann, forinstance; there's a feller which he is such a big charity feller, understand me, why shouldn't he help Kovalenko?"

"Well, in the first place, no one tells him about it, Abe, " Morris said, "and in the second place----"

"But why don't we tell him about it, Mawruss?" Abe interrupted. "Whydon't you go down to see him, Mawruss, and tell him all about it?"

"Me go down to see him, Abe!" Morris cried. "Why, the feller is amultimillionaire. With such people like that I couldn't open my mouth atall. Why don't you go down to see him?"

"Why should I go down?" Abe asked. "You are the lodge brother here, Mawruss--ain't it? You are the one which you are always sitting up tillall hours of the night making motions. I couldn't make a motion to savemy life, Mawruss, and you know it. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris protested; "but lodge meetings is something elseagain. A feller could talk at a lodge meeting--and what is it? A coupleyoung lawyers which they couldn't even pay their laundry bills, y'understand, and a dozen other fellers, insurance brokers _oder_ cigardealers, and most of 'em old-timers at that--why should I be afraid tosay a little something to 'em? But with a feller like Moses M. Steuermann, which his folks was bankers in Frankfort-on-the-Main whenCarnegie and Vanderbilt and all them other _goyim_ was new beginnersyet, Abe--that's a different proposition entirely. "

Abe nodded and remained silent for a few minutes. 

"Might Felix Geigermann would go down and see him, Mawruss, " hesuggested finally. "It wouldn't do no harm we should ring him upanyhow. "

"Go as far as you like, Abe, " Morris said, and Abe started immediatelyfor the telephone. 

"I spoke to Felix, Mawruss, " he announced a few minutes later, "andFelix said he would go right down and see him. He ain't so stuck onpaying Feldman a couple hundred dollars neither. "

Morris snorted indignantly. 

"If you was going to be charitable, Abe, " he said, "why don't you be asport? We could easy stand a couple hundred dollars. "

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe declared. "Business is business andcharity is charity, y'understand; but even in charity, Mawruss, it don'tdo no harm to keep the expenses down. "

Two hours afterward Felix Geigermann entered the showroom, his faceglistening with perspiration. 

"Well, boys, " he almost shouted, "I seen him, and he says he would callin here on his way uptown. "

"Who would call in?" Morris asked. 

"Moses M. Steuermann, " Felix replied. "It was the Tschaikovsky Fourththat fixed him, Mawruss. I told him that young feller carries round withhim an orchestral score, and right away he says he would come up. Foryears I seen Mr. Steuermann at the Philharmonics and the BostonSymphonies, Mawruss, and I didn't know who he was at all. I alwaysthought he was something to do with a music-publishing concern. "

"Steuermann got something to do with a music-publishing concern!" Morrisexclaimed. "I'm surprised to hear you, you should talk that way, Felix. "

"Well, when you are seeing year in and year out a feller goes to everyconcert what is, Abe, " Felix explained, "naturally you get an idee he isin the music business--ain't it?"

"That's what you think, Felix, " Abe said, taking up the cudgels indefence of Steuermann; "but you could take it from me, Felix, if afeller like Steuermann seemingly fools away his time at concerts, understand me, he ain't doing it for nothing. He probably gets somebusiness out of it the same like a lot of fellers you would think ismaking suckers of themselves going to lodge meetings, Felix. Most of 'emsells many a big bill of goods that way. "

"That ain't here nor there, Abe, " Felix rejoined. "The point is, Steuermann would be up here at five o'clock; so, what are you going totell him when he calls?"

"Me tell him!" Abe cried. "Why, I wouldn't be here at all. I gotto--now--see--a--now--customer at the Prince Clarence. "

"You ain't got to do nothing of the kind, Abe, " Morris retorted angrily. "You are going to stay right here and talk to that feller when he comes. What do you think--I am going to be the goat every time?"

"What's the matter, Abe?" Felix asked. "Are you afraid of the feller? Hecouldn't eat you up, Abe. "

"What d'ye mean, afraid of him?" Abe exclaimed. "I am seeing bigmerchants every day, Felix, and I could talk right up to them too. Butthis here is my partner's affair. He hired Kovalenko in the first place;and----"

"What's the use talking, Abe?" Morris interrupted. "If you go home I gohome; so you got to stay and we would both see the feller. What is thedifference, supposing the feller does got a couple million dollars?"

"A couple million dollars!" Felix said. "Why, I bet yer, if the feller'sgot a cent he is worth twenty million dollars. "

Abe drew pale. 

"Say, lookyhere, why should I talk to Mr. Steuermann?" he besought. "Youcould do this without me, Mawruss. "

"Don't be a baby, Abe, " Morris retorted. "Felix would stay here with usand----"

"Not me, boys, " Felix said. "I guess you got to excuse me. I done enoughalready and if I don't get right home and change my underclothes, whichthey are dripping wet with perspiration, I would sure catch a bad cold. "

He shook Abe and Morris warmly by the hand; and hardly had the elevatordoor closed behind him when the showroom became a scene of nervousactivity. 

"Nathan, " Abe yelled to the shipping clerk, "fetch the broom. The placelooks like a pigsty here!"

He turned to Morris with excited gesture. 

"Do me the favour, Mawruss, " he said; "tell a couple of them youngfellers from the cutting room to come in here. Them sample-racks ain'tbeen straightened up for a week. I am going round to the barber shop, Mawruss, and I would be right back. "

 * * * * *

It lacked one minute of five and Abe and Morris sat at their respectivedesks in the firm's office, when Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, knockedtimidly at the door. 

"A gentleman wants to see you, Mr. Potash, " she said. "He wouldn't givehis name. "

Abe cleared his throat with an effort. 

"Tell him he should come right in, " he croaked; and a moment later atall personage, clad in a fur overcoat and wearing a freshly ironed silkhat, appeared in the doorway. 

"Is this Mr. Potash?" he asked in rounded, oratorical tones. 

Abe nodded. For a moment he was bereft of speech and he jerked his headsideways in the direction of his partner. 

"This is Mr. Perlmutter, " he said at length--"my partner. "

"How do you do, sir?" the visitor replied as he seized Morris's clammypalm in a warm embrace. 

"Take a seat, " Morris murmured, dragging forth a chair; and the strangersat down deliberately. 

"Well, sir, " Abe asked, "what could we do for you?"

"Mr. Potash, " the visitor began, "every merchant is at tames confrontedwith a situation which demands a few appropriate remarks. "

Abe nodded and mopped tentatively at his dewy forehead. 

"But how many are there, " the visitor continued, "who can do justice tothe occasion? For instance, Mr. Perlmutter, you are asked at acharitable meeting to discuss the question of restricting immigration. Iask you candidly, Mr. Perlmutter, would you feel competent to stand uponyour feet and----"

Suddenly Abe jumped to his feet. 

"Excuse me, my dear sir, " he cried. "Wouldn't you smoke a cigar?"

Morris was nearest the safe and he, too, leaped from his chair. 

"Never mind the safe, Mawruss, " Abe said, flapping his right handexcitedly. "I bought some while I was out just now. "

[Illustration: "Mr. Potash, " the visitor began, "every merchant is attimes confronted with a situation which demands a few appropriateremarks"]

He handed a gold-banded, Bismarck-size cigar to the visitor, who noddeda dignified acknowledgment and immediately struck a match. 

"Yes, Mr. Perlmutter, " he went on, "as I was saying, such a topic as therestriction of immigration would embarrass even an experienced speaker. "He paused and cleared his throat impressively. "Now, I have here, " hesaid, exploring the capacious pockets of his overcoat, "a work entitled'A Quarter of a Century in Congress, ' by the Honourable Lucius J. Howell, which, gentlemen, is issued upon subscription only, in halfmorocco or crushed levant at a hitherto unheard-of price. "

Abe ceased mopping his brow and turned a terrible glare upon the bookcanvasser. 

"What!" he roared. "A book agent?"

Once more he jumped to his feet. "Out!" he bellowed. "Out from myoffice, you dirty loafer!"

The book agent scowled and replaced the bound dummy in his pocket. 

"With a high-grade selling proposition like this, Mr. Potash, " he said, "you should be careful of your language. "

"Mawruss, " Abe cried, "what the devil do you mean letting in a fellerlike this?"

"What d'ye mean, letting him in?" Morris retorted. "Did I tell MissCohen she should show him in?"

"Don't quarrel on my account, gentlemen, " the canvasser said as hepuffed at his cigar. "I shall call again when you're not so busy. "

He passed out of the office with a graceful gesture of farewell, andonce more Abe and Morris sat down on the edge of their chairs. It wasnot for long, however; and this time, without any announcement, athick-set gentleman with carefully trimmed beard and moustache stood inthe doorway. 

"Good afternoon, gentlemen, " he said--and Abe and Morris literallysprang into the middle of the office floor. 

"Mr. Steuermann?" Abe gasped, extending his hand. 

"My name is Mr. Goldstein, " the visitor replied, "and I represent theLilywhite Dress Shield Company. "

He proceeded no further, however, for Morris led him by the shoulder tothe elevator shaft and pointed to a notice reading:

 HOURS FOR SALESMEN 8 to 9:30

Morris returned to the office and hardly was he seated in his chairwhen, for the third time, the doorway framed a visitor. 

"Mr. Potash?" the newcomer asked timidly. He was a short, slender man, past middle age, clad in a shabby overcoat, half threadbare, and a softfelt hat of a dingy, weatherbeaten appearance. 

"_Nu!_" Abe growled. "What is it now?"

"Mr. Potash, " the stranger continued, "I called to see you at therequest of Mr. Geigermann. My name is Steuermann. " Abe essayed to rise, but his knees would not support him and he waved his hand feebly to achair that Morris dragged forward. 

"Mr. Steuermann, " Morris said, "you are coming up here to see us when wecould much better afford it if we would go down and see you. "

"Why, gentlemen, it was no inconvenience for me, " Steuermann replied. "Iam on my way home. "

"God would bless you for it, anyway!" Abe declared fervently; andSteuermann blushed. 

"Now, Mr. Potash, " he protested, "I am not here for compliments. I'vecome to see what we can all do for this poor fellow. I'm a little late, because I was waiting for a report from my lawyers. "

"Your lawyers!" Abe exclaimed. "Why, we already hired Henry D. Feldman. "

"So I believe, " Steuermann replied; "and he has consented to act inconjunction with my lawyers--Chitty, Schwarzstein & Munjoy. I shallrelieve you gentlemen of all responsibility in the matter. "

"Do you mean by responsibility, Mr. Steuermann, that you would payFeldman?" Abe asked. 

Mr. Steuermann smiled. 

"Well, we won't discuss that just now, " he said. 

"Because, " Abe continued, "we wouldn't consent to nothing of the kind, Mr. Steuermann; the young feller works for us and we would got to do ourshare. "

"That part will come later, " Steuermann insisted; "and now let's seewhat is to be done. "

For more than half an hour Steuermann disclosed to Abe and Morris theresult of his lawyers' investigation. 

"Mr. Munjoy has seen Kovalenko, " Steuermann said, "and he asserts that, so far as proof is concerned, no murder was ever committed. "

"But, Mr. Steuermann, " Morris said, "the feller which he opened thepackage, y'understand, was blown up so his own father couldn't recognizehim even. "

"That's just the point, Mr. Perlmutter, " Steuermann declared; "and Mr. Munjoy says that on this circumstance hinges the Russian Consulate'swhole case. They are obliged to prove that a definite person was killed;and it seems that the consulate paid the passage of the victim's fatherto this country, so that he might testify before the United StatesCommissioner. I understand that the old man, who by the way is a Rabbi, arrived last week. Mr. Munjoy says that, if the father is unable totestify to the identity of the victim it may so complicate matters thatmore evidence will be necessary and the consulate may drop the affair onaccount of the expense involved. "

Morris nodded sadly. 

"Lawyers could always make expenses, Mr. Steuermann, " he said, "for theRussian counsellor and for us also. "

"Never mind about expense, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted. "What does itmatter a few hundred dollars, Mawruss, so long as we get this youngfeller free? In fact, Mr. Steuermann, I am willing we should go half ifwe could see this here Rabbi and _schmier_ him a thousand dollars heshould swear that no one was killed at all. "

Mr. Steuermann shook his head. "That would be in effect suborningperjury, Mr. Potash, " he said--and Morris glared at Abe. 

"I'm surprised at you, you should suggest such a thing, Abe!" heexclaimed. "Seemingly you got no conscience at all. A thousand dollarswe should pay the feller! I bet yer he would lie himself black in theface for a twenty-dollar bill. "

"It isn't a matter of money, Mr. Perlmutter, " Steuermann said; "but whynot see the old man to-night? I have his address here, and if youapproached him in the right way perhaps he might testify that he did notrecognize the murdered man. That would only be the simple truth and itwould be just what we want. As it is, I'm afraid the Russian Consulatewill intimidate him into swearing that he knew the body to be that ofhis son. "

He handed Morris a card bearing a Madison Street address. 

"Well, gentlemen, " he concluded, "I've taken up your time long enough. Ihope to see you in my office to-morrow, Mr. Perlmutter. "

Morris nodded and was about to shake hands with his visitor when Abeslapped his thigh in a sudden realization of his inhospitality. 

"Mr. Steuermann, " he exclaimed, "wouldn't you smoke something?"

He jumped to his feet and thrust a huge gold-banded cigar at Mr. Steuermann, who shook his head. 

"Thank you very much, " Mr. Steuermann said, "but I'm afraid it's rathernear dinner-time. "

"Put it in your pocket and smoke it after dinner, " Abe insisted, and Mr. Steuermann smilingly obliged. 

Together the two partners escorted him into the elevator; and when thedoor closed behind him Morris turned to Abe with an ironical smile. 

"You got a whole lot of manners, Abe, I must say, " he commentedbitterly. 

"Whatd'ye mean, manners?" Abe asked. "What did I done?"

"Tell a millionaire like Mr. Steuermann he should smoke the cigar afterdinner!" Morris replied. 

"Don't you suppose he's got plenty cigars of his own?"

"Maybe he did got 'em and maybe he didn't, " Abe retorted; "but, in thefirst place, Mawruss, I noticed he took the cigar, y'understand; and, inthe second place, Mawruss, them cigars cost thirty-five cents apiece, Mawruss, and there's few millionaires, Mawruss, which is too proud tosmoke a thirty-five-cent cigar. "

 * * * * *

When Morris Perlmutter entered the subway that evening en route for thelower East Side, he was in none too cheerful mood; for, in theexcitement attending Steuermann's visit, he had forgotten to telephoneMrs. Perlmutter that he would be late for dinner. Consequently there hadbeen a painful scene upon his arrival home that evening, nor had Mrs. Perlmutter's wrath been appeased when he informed her that he wasobliged to go right downtown again. 

Indeed, his sympathy for Cesar Kovalenko had well-nigh evaporated as heentered the subway, and he reflected bitterly upon the circumstance thatfirst led him to hire that unfortunate young man. Thus there wassomething doubly irritating in the coincidence which seated him next toLouis Kleiman in the crowded express train he had boarded, and he hadmade up his mind to ignore his competitor's presence when Louis caughtsight of him. 

"So, Perlmutter, " Louis commented, without any introductory greeting, "you are trying to do us again!"

Morris turned and stared icily at Kleiman. 

"I don't want to talk to you at all, Kleiman, " he replied; "and, anyhow, Kleiman, I don't know what you mean--we are trying to do you! The shoepinches on the other foot, Kleiman, when you just stop to consider youare stealing away from us that feller Harkavy, which all he knows wetaught him. "

Louis Kleiman emitted a short, raucous guffaw. 

"Well, what are you kicking about?" he said. "You stole him backagain--ain't it?"

"Stole him back again!" Morris repeated. "What are you talking nonsense, Kleiman? We wouldn't take that feller back in our store, not if we couldget him to come to work for two dollars a week. "

"Yow!" Kleiman exclaimed skeptically. "I don't suppose you know thefeller left us at all?"

"I did not, " Morris replied promptly; "and if he did, Kleiman, Icouldn't blame him. A feller doesn't want to work all his life for tendollars a week. "

"What d'ye mean, ten dollars a week? We paid Harkavy fifteen and weoffered him twenty-five; but the feller wouldn't stay with us at all. For two weeks now he acts uneasy and yesterday he leaves us. "

"That's all right, Kleiman, " Morris said as the train drew intoNinety-sixth Street. "You could easy steal somebody else from anotherconcern. " Kleiman glared at Morris and was about to utter a particularlyincisive retort when the train stopped. 

"I got to change here, " he announced; "but when I see you again, Perlmutter, I would tell you what you are. "

"I don't got to tell you what you are, Kleiman, " Morris concluded as heopened his evening paper. "You know only too well. "

"_Rosher!_" Kleiman hissed as he hurled himself into the mob ofpassengers that blocked the exit. 

Morris nodded sardonically and commenced to read his paper. He desistedimmediately, however, when his eye fell upon a cut accompanying FelixGeigermann's display advertisement. It was a beaded marquisette costume, made in obvious imitation of one of Potash & Perlmutter's leaders; andthe retail price quoted by Geigermann was precisely one dollar less thanPotash & Perlmutter's lowest wholesale figure. 

"That's some of Harkavy's work, " Morris muttered; and for the remainderof the journey he was once more plunged in the gloomiest cogitation. Almost automatically he alighted at the Brooklyn Bridge and boarded aMadison Street Car; and it was not until the jolting, old-fashionedvehicle had nearly reached its eastern terminus that he discerned thehouse number furnished to him by Steuermann. He hurried to the rearplatform and jumped to the street, where he collided violently with ashort, bearded person. 

"Excuse me!" Morris cried; then he recognized his victim. "Harkavy!" heexclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I am coming to say good-by to a friend, " Harkavy replied with some showof confusion. "I got to go to Chicago to-morrow. "

"Chicago!" Morris repeated. "Why, what are you doing in Chicago, Harkavy?"

"I am--now--going to got a job out there, " Harkavy replied--"a very goodjob. "

Morris drew his former assistant cutter to the sidewalk. He hadtemporarily forgotten the object of his visit to the lower East Side inthe sudden conception of an idea, which was no less than the rehiring ofHarkavy. 

"What for a good job?" Morris asked. "Twenty dollars a week?"

Harkavy nodded. 

"A little more, " he said--"twenty-five. "

"_Schon gut_, " Morris declared; "then you wouldn't got to go at all, because we ourselves would give you thirty. "

"I moost go, " Harkavy said, shaking his head; "my fare is paid. "

"Pay 'em back the fare, " Morris insisted--"we would see you wouldn'tlose it. "

Again Harkavy shook his head. 

"I got a bonus too, " he declared--"a thousand rubles. "

"What are you talking about, rubles?" Morris said impatiently. "Youain't a greenhorn no longer. Do you mean a thousand dollars?"

"Six hundred dollars--about, " Harkavy replied. 

Morris whistled. 

"Well, " he said after a pause of some seconds, "put off going untilto-morrow anyhow. Maybe we could fix up to give you the six hundreddollars anyhow. "

Harkavy remained silent and Morris clapped him on the shoulder. 

"If people is so anxious to get you that they pay you a big lot of moneylike that, Harkavy, you could keep 'em waiting anyhow one day. Comeround and see us to-morrow morning at nine o'clock, wouldn't you?"

Harkavy pondered the question for some minutes. 

"If you wish it, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "I would do so; but I mustgot to go away by eleven o'clock sure. "

"Good!" Morris exclaimed. "Then I'll see you to-morrow morning at nineo'clock. "

They shook hands on the appointment and Morris turned away and ascendedthe high stoop of an old-fashioned tenement. In the vestibule heencountered a boy whose right cheek was apparently distorted by a severetoothache. 

"Do a family by the name Levin live here?" Morris asked. 

The boy nodded and disgorged a huge lump of toffee, whereat thetoothache disappeared. 

"Dat's me fader, " he said. "Fourt' floor front east. He ain't in, dough. "

"Your father!" Morris cried. "Why, the people I am coming to see theyare greenhorns. "

"Oh, yeh, " the youngster replied; "dat's me fader's uncle. He lives widus. "

"All right, " Morris said. "Take me up there. "

The youngster resumed his swollen cheek and escorted Morris up threeflights of slippery brassbound stairs. Without the formality ofknocking, they entered an apartment on the fourth floor where a womanstood washing dishes. 

"Mrs. Levin?" Morris said. 

The woman nodded. 

"I want to see your man's uncle, " Morris continued. Without looking upthe woman cried in stentorian tones: "Mees-taire!"

In response a bent figure, clad in an alpaca caftan, appeared from aninterior bedroom. He wore a velvet skullcap, and a thin gray beardstraggled from his chin; his nose was surmounted by a pair of steelspectacles. 

"_Sholom alaicham!_" Morris cried, according the Rabbi that greeting, asancient as the Hebrew tongue itself--"Peace be with you. "

"_Alaicham sholom!_" the Rabbi answered, and then he resorted to theYiddish jargon: "Do you look for me?"

"I look for the _Rav_ Elkan Levin, " Morris said in a tongue to which hehad long been unaccustomed. "I am the servant of the philanthropistSteuermann. "

"Steuermann?" the _Rav_ Levin repeated. "I do not know him. "

"In America, " Morris said, "his name is honored over the governor's. Hesends me to you to speak for the unfortunate _Tzwee_ Kovalenko. "

"_Tzwee_ Kovalenko, " the old man cried, and his beard stood out as hisinvisible lips tightened, while his nose became sharp and hawk-like. "A_mishna meshuna_ to him, the same as he sent to my son. "

"No, " Morris declared; "he did not send it to your son. It was anotherthat did it. "

The old man sank trembling into a nearby chair and clutched the edge ofthe table. 

"You tell this to me who saw with my own eyes his body!" he said inshaking tones. "Yes, _Baron_; I saw my own child like a slaughteredbeast, all blood--not a face, but a piece of flesh. I saw him, and youtell me this!"

"None the less, " Morris went on, "if your son did die it was a _kapora_not meant for him. It was intended for the chief of police. "

The _Rav_ shook his head. 

"It stands in the _Gemera_" he said, in the singsong tone of theTalmudical reader: "If one flings a stone for pleasure and it strikesanother so that he dies, the one also shall die. "

He rose to his feet and waved one hand with a flapping motion. "An eyefor an eye!" he cried in shrill tones. "A tooth for a tooth!"

Morris shrank back and turned to the woman, who had not raised her headfrom the dishwashing. 

"You tell him, " he said, "that the philanthropist Steuermann invites himto come to the address I shall give you--to-morrow at ten o'clock. Tellhim you know that when Steuermann commands, governors obey. "

"What is it my business?" Mrs. Levin replied. "Tell him yourself. "

"Your man should go with him, " Morris insisted. "He and you will notlose by it. "

Morris wrote the address on the back of one of Potash & Perlmutter'sbusiness cards and handed it to her. 

"Put on it the table, " she said. 

"Tell your man, " Morris continued, "if he does take this old man toSteuermann I myself will pay him twenty-five dollars. "

Once more he faced the _Rav_, who had sunk again into the chair. 

"Will it bring back your son to you if _Tzwee_ Kovalenko dies?" heasked. 

The old man plucked at his beard. 

"He was my son, my only son, " he said; "my _Kaddish_. A good son hewas. "

Mrs. Levin, still at her dishwashing, raised her head and snortedimpatiently. 

"Yow--a good son!" she commented in English, "A dirty, lowlife bum hewas. If it wouldn't be that he _ganvered_ a couple bottles wine from astore he wouldn't of been in the police office at all. He brought it onhimself, mister--believe me. "

Morris nodded. 

"What is _vorbei_ is _vorbei_, " he said. "Tell your man he should bringhis uncle to Steuermann and I would pay him sure twenty-five dollarscash. "

He bowed to the _Rav_ and with a final "_Sholom alaicham!_" passeddownstairs to the street. 

As he waited at the corner for a west-bound car he thought he discerneda familiar figure in the shadow of the house he had just quitted. Hewalked slowly up the block and Harkavy stole out of the basement areaand slunk hurriedly past him. 

"Harkavy!" Morris called, but the assistant cutter only hastened hissteps and it seemed to Morris that a sound like a sob was bornebackward. 

"What is the trouble, Harkavy?" Morris cried; but in response Harkavybroke into a run, and with a mystified shake of his head Morriscommenced his tedious journey uptown. 

 * * * * *

When Morris, in company with his partner, entered the showroom at eighto'clock the following morning he had already enumerated to Abe theevents of the preceding evening, not omitting his encounter withHarkavy. 

"I bet yer he would be waiting for us, Mawruss, " Abe said; "and if Iain't mistaken here he is now. "

Their visitor, however, proved to be a stranger, who bore only a slightresemblance to their former cutter. 

"Mr. Perlmutter, " he said--"ain't it?"

"My name is Mr. Perlmutter, " Morris said. "What do you want from us?"

For answer the visitor drew from his pocket a card and handed it toMorris. 

"Me, I am Pincus Levin, and you are leaving this by my wife last night, "he said; "so I am coming to tell you I am agreeable to take Mr. Levin toSteuermann's place. "

"All right, " Morris replied. "You can go ahead. "

Pincus Levin shuffled his feet uneasily, but made no attempt to depart. 

"Well?" Morris cried. 

"Sure, I know, " Pincus said; "but if I would take uncle, Mr. Levin, toSteuermann, y' understand and then, maybe--I am only saying, Mr. Perlmutter, you might forget the other part--ain't it?"

"You mean you want your twenty-five dollars in advance?" Morris asked. 

"Why not?" Pincus replied. "If I wouldn't took Mr. Levin to-day yet tothis here Steuermann's office, Mr. Perlmutter, you could stop thecheck----"

Abe shrugged his shoulders expressively. 

"An idee!" he cried. "You ain't never seen this feller before, Mawruss--ain't it?"

Morris admitted it. 

"Well, then, what's the use talking?" Abe continued. "How do we knowhe's this here Levin's nephew?"

"Why, Mr. Potash, " Levin cried, "I ain't no crook! I got the old man ina coffee house round the corner right now. "

"Bring him up here then, " Abe said, "and we'll give you your money. "

Pincus Levin nodded and shuffled off toward the back stairs, while Abeturned and gazed after him. 

"I couldn't make it out at all, Mawruss, " he said. "The more I look atthat feller, Mawruss, the more he makes me think of this here----"

"Good morning, Mr. Potash!" a familiar voice interrupted. It wasHarkavy. 

"Hello there!" Morris cried cheerfully. "I thought you would be here. "

Hakavy smiled sadly. His face was white and drawn and his shoes andtrousers were covered with mud as though he had walked the streets allnight. 

"I am keeping my word anyhow, " he said; "but I am only coming to tellyou I got to go to Chicago. "

"Why must you got to go?" Abe insisted. 

"Well, there's certain reasons, Mr. Potash, " Harkavy replied. "There'scertain--rea----"

He struggled to control his speech as his eyes rested on the rearstairway, but his words became more and more inarticulate until, with ashudder and a gasp, he fell heavily to the floor. 

"_Oi gewoldt!_" Abe exclaimed. He rushed to the office for a glass ofwater, but even before he had reached the cooler he stopped suddenly. Agreat wailing cry came from the showroom and when he ran back with thewater a bearded old man lay prostrate across Harkavy's body. 

Only Miss Cohen, the bookkeeper, kept a clear head during the confusionthat followed. She despatched Nathan, the shipping clerk, for a doctorand directed her frightened employers to loosen the shirt-bands of theunconscious men. 

"Some whiskey!" Morris shouted--and one of the cutters produced itbashfully from his hip-pocket. 

"Never try to force whiskey on a fainting person, " Miss Cohen cried. "Itmight get into their lungs and suffocate 'em. "

"I wasn't going to, " Morris said hastily, as he took a yeoman's pull atthe bottle. "I am feeling faint myself. "

"_Mir auch_, " Abe said, taking the bottle from his partner's grasp. After a refreshing draught he passed it on to Pincus, who returned itempty to the crestfallen cutter just as a physician dashed out of theelevator. 

"What caused this trouble?" he asked Abe as he knelt down by the side ofHarkavy. 

Abe looked helplessly at Morris and turned to Pincus Levin, whocommenced to tremble violently. 

"Hold on there!" Morris shouted. "He's going to faint too. "

Abe seized the glass of ice-water and flung its contents into PincusLevin's face. He gasped and sat down suddenly. 

"The old man, " he murmured, "he's Yosel's father. "

"Yosel who?" Morris shouted. "The old man's only got one son--and he'sdead. "

"Yes, I know, " Pincus answered; "he is and he ain't. I always thought sotoo, Mr. Perlmutter, but this feller here is Yosel Levin which he gotblew up in Harkav two years ago. "

"What d'ye mean got blew up?" Abe asked as the doctor worked steadilyover the two prostrate men. "How could he be blew up if he is here now?"

Pincus shrugged his shoulders. 

"How should I know?" he said weakly. "I ain't lying to you. This fellerhere is Yosel Levin and my uncle there is his father. "

"Do you mean to told me that the old man's son ain't dead at all?"Morris demanded. 

"Seemingly, " Pincus said; "_aber_ this is the first time I heard it andI guess it's the first time the old man heard it too. "

Harkavy moaned and tried to sit up. 

"Easy there!" the doctor commanded. "Two of you take him inside and puthim on a lounge if you have one. "

Abe and Morris followed Pincus and the head cutter as they supported thehalf-conscious Harkavy into the firm's office. Ten minutes later the oldman was restored to consciousness. 

"_Wo ist er?_" he murmured. "_Mein kind!_"

"It's all right, " the doctor replied, and then he turned to the office. "Come out here, you, and talk to the old man. "

Pincus came running from the office and reassured his uncle, who, underthe ministrations of the doctor, grew rapidly stronger until he wassufficiently recovered to be placed on a chair. 

"Keep him quiet while I attend to the other fellow, " said the doctor;"and don't let him talk. "

He went at once to the office, where Harkavy sat on the edge of thelounge. 

"Here! What are you doing?" he cried. "You shouldn't let that fellow doany talking. "

"That's all right, doctor, " Abe said calmly. "He should go on talkingnow if it would kill him even. Go ahead, Harkavy. "

"And so, " Harkavy continued, "after I am stealing the wine they took meto the police office. There was a place! But, anyhow, Mr. Potash, Icould tell you all about it afterward. Inside the backyard was a deadmoujik which he is got run over by a train. His face is all damaged soyou couldn't tell who he was at all. "

He faltered and waved his hand. 

"Give me, please, a glass water, " he said, and the doctor seized hishand. 

"Never mind!" Abe cried inexorably. "Leave him alone, doctor. He shouldfinish what he's got to say. "

Harkavy nodded and sipped some water. 

"Then comes the package for the chief of police, " he went on; "and theyput it first in a pail of water. Then they open it, Mr. Potash, and itdon't harm nobody; but them _roshers_ want to put it on to somebody, sothey make me a proposition they would give me a couple hundred rublesand a ticket to America--and I took 'em up. For stealing that wine Icould get five years yet; so what should I do? They give me the moneyand I run away; and the dead moujik they are telling everybody is me, which I am blew up to pieces by the package. "

"And you let the old man bury the moujik and think it was you?" Morrisasked. 

Harkavy nodded. 

"Over and over again he is telling me I am no good and he wishes I wasdead, " he said. "I wish I was, Mr. Perlmutter--I wish I was!"

He commenced to cry weakly and Morris handed him the water. 

"But when I hear last week the old man, my father, is here, " hecontinued, "I couldn't help myself--I am hanging around Madison Streettrying I should get one look at him only. I didn't see him till justnow. "

He struggled to raise himself from the lounge. 

"Let me go to him, " he wailed; "let me go!"

Abe looked inquiringly at the doctor, who nodded in reply. 

"Let him go, " he said. "Happiness never harmed anybody yet. "

 * * * * *

"Gentlemen, " said the United States Commissioner as he sat behind hisshabby desk in the Post-office Building, "the prisoner is in themarshal's office. Shall he be brought in?"

He addressed his question to Mr. Munjoy, who was seated between Henry D. Feldman and Steuermann at one side of a huge table. Opposite them werethe clerk of the Russian Consulate and his counsel, who was obviouslynervous at the formidable appearance presented by the lawyer, Henry D. Feldman. 

The latter was about to pull off--as in his colloquial moments hehimself would have expressed it--a rotten trick on his fellow counsel;for Abe and Morris had not informed either Mr. Munjoy or Mr. Steuermannof the stirring scene in their showroom that morning. Instead, they hadcalled on Feldman, who, with the dramatic intuition of the effectivejury lawyer, saw an opportunity for a coup that would at once gain theadmiration and respect, if not the legal business, of Moses M. Steuermann and procure Feldman a column and a half of publicity in nextday's paper. Hence he had sworn Abe and Morris to secrecy inconsideration of making no charge for his services, since he deemed theaccruing benefit to be worth at least two hundred dollars. 

"Shall he be brought in, gentlemen?" the commissioner asked. 

Counsel for the Russian Consulate bowed, as did Mr. Munjoy; but Henry D. Feldman cleared his throat with a great rasping noise that penetrated tothe corridor without. This was the signal, and Abe and Morris enteredthe room supporting the old Rabbi, who was followed by Pincus Levin. 

"One moment, sir, " Feldman said. "I have a preliminary objection tomake. Will you hear the offer, sir?"

The commissioner nodded and Steuermann and his counsel Mr. Munjoy, turned to Feldman in amazement. 

"What's all this, Feldman?" Munjoy cried. 

Feldman waved his hand impressively. 

"My objection is, sir, that a gross fraud has been practised on thiscourt. It has come to my attention that somebody connected with thisproceeding has furnished a material witness for the defense with aticket for Chicago and one thousand rubles as a bribe to stay away fromthe hearing. "

Counsel for the complainant jumped to his feet. 

"This is preposterous!" he declared. 

"By no means, " Feldman continued. "Will you direct counsel not tointerrupt me, sir, if you please?"

"I so direct, " the commissioner replied, whereat Feldman again clearedhis throat and coughed twice, and, in answer to this cue, Yosel Levin, alias Joseph Harkavy, entered the room. 

"The person so bribed, Mr. Commissioner, is named in the petition as the_corpus delicti_ of the crime alleged to have been committed, " Feldmansaid. 

"What!" Munjoy and opposing counsel cried in unison, and the clerk tothe consulate reached for his hat and started for the door. His counselleaped after him, however, and succeeded in catching his coat-tails justas he was about to disappear into the hall. 

With one hand still grasping the consular clerk, counsel for thecomplainant turned to the commissioner. 

"I think my client wants to consult me outside for one minute, " he said. "Have I your consent to withdraw?"

The commissioner nodded and Munjoy turned to Feldman. 

"What the deuce are you trying to do, Feldman?" he asked ascomplainant's counsel returned. 

"If the commissioner pleases, " Feldman said, "we consent to a dismissalof the extradition proceedings and to a discharge of the prisoner. "

The imperturbable commissioner bowed and rose to his feet. 

"Submit the necessary papers for the prisoner's discharge, gentlemen, "he said. "The hearing is closed. "

 * * * * *

"Five dollars for doing what that feller done is like picking it up inthe street, Mawruss!" Abe declared to Mawruss when they received thedoctor's bill a month later. 

"How could we be small about it, Abe?" Morris rejoined. "Look at whatSteuermann done! Not only he is paying his lawyers for getting thisKovalenko out of prison but he is taking that young feller and payingfor him he should go on with his studying for a doctor. "

"Well, the way doctors soak you, Mawruss, " Abe said, looking at the billwhich he held in his hand, "it wouldn't be long before Kovalenko payshim back with interest, I bet yer. "

"But, anyhow, Abe, " Morris continued, "now we got Yosel Levin workingfor us as cutter, it would be a better feeling all around supposing wepay the bill and say nothing about it. "

"I am agreeable we should say nothing more about it, Mawruss, " Aberetorted, "because we already wasted more time and trouble than thewhole thing is worth; but one thing I would like to know, Mawruss, before I shut up my mouth: Why did this here feller, Yosel Levin, callhimself Harkavy?"

"Say!" Morris said, using three inflections to the monosyllable: "he'sgot just so much right to call himself Harkavy as all them other guyshas to call themselves Breslauer, Hamburger, Leipziger _oder_ Berliner. He anyhow does come from Harkav, Abe--which you could take it from me, Abe, there's many a feller calls himself Hamburger which he don't comefrom no nearer Hamburg than Vilna _oder_ Kovno. "

Abe shrugged his shoulders expressively in reply. 

"My worries where them fellers comes from, Mawruss!" he commented. "Because, when it comes right down to it, Mawruss, if a feller attendsto his own business, Mawruss, and don't monkey with politics, y'understand, where could he make a better living than right here in NewYork, N. Y. ?"

CHAPTER EIGHT

"R. S. V. P. "

It was the tenth of the month, and Abe Potash, of Potash & Perlmutter, was going through the firm mail with an exploratory thumb and finger, looking for checks. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said to his partner, Morris Perlmutter, "all themhightone customers of yours they don't take it so particular that theyshould pay on the day, Mawruss. If they was only so prompt with checksas they was to claim deductions, Mawruss, you and me would have noworries. I think some of 'em finds a shortage in the shipment beforethey open the packing-case that the goods come in. Take your friendHyman Maimin, of Sarahcuse--nothing suits him. He always kicks that thegoods ain't made up right, or we ain't sent him enough fancies, orsomething like that. Five or six letters he writes us, Mawruss, when hegets the goods; but when he got to pay for 'em, Mawruss, that'ssomething else again. You might think postage stamps was solitairediamonds, and that he dassen't use 'em!"

"Quit your kicking, " Perlmutter broke in. "This is only the tenth of themonth. "

"I know it, " said Abe. "We should have had a check by the tenth of lastmonth, but"--here Abe's eye lit upon an envelope directed in thehandwriting of Hyman Maimin--"I guess there was some good reason for thedelay, " he went on evenly. "Anyhow, here's a letter from him now. "

He tore open the envelope and hurriedly removed the enclosed letter. Then he took the envelope, blew it wide open, and shook it up and down, but no check fell out. 

"Did y'ever see the like?" he exclaimed. "Sends us a letter and nocheck!"

"Why, it ain't a letter, " Morris said. "It's an advertisement. "

Abe's face grew white. 

"A meeting of creditors!" he gasped. 

Morris grabbed the missive from his partner and spread it out on thetable. 

"Hello!" he exclaimed, a great smile of relief spreading itself abouthis ears. "It's a wedding invitation!" He held it up to the light. "'Mr. And Mrs. Marcus Bramson, '" he read, "'request the pleasure of Potash &Perlmutter's company at the marriage of their daughter Tillie to Mr. Hyman Maimin, Sunday, March 19, at seven o'clock, P. M. , Wiedermayer'sHall, 2099 South Oswego Street. R. S. V. P. To residence of bride, care ofAdvance Credit Clothing Company, 2097 South Oswego Street. '"

"What is that 'R. S. V. P. To residence of bride'?" Abe Potash asked. 

Morris reflected for a moment. 

"That means, " he said at length, "that we should know where to send thepresent to. "

"How do you make that out?" said Abe. 

"'R. S. V. P. ', " Morris replied, emphasizing each letter with a motion ofhis hand, "means 'Remember to send vedding present. '"

"But, " Abe rejoined, "when I went to night school, we spelt 'wedding'with a W. "

"A greenhorn like Maimin, " said Morris, "don't know no better. "

"He knows enough to ask for a wedding present, Mawruss, " Abe commented, "even if he don't know how to spell it. We'll send him a weddingpresent, Mawruss! We'll send him a summons from the court, that's whatwe'll send him!"

Morris shook his head. 

"That ain't no way to talk, Abe, " he said. "If a customer gets married, we _got_ to send him a wedding present. It don't cost much, and if HymanMaimin gets a couple of thousand dollars with this Miss--Miss----"

"Advance Credit Clothing Company, " Abe helped out. 

Morris nodded. 

"Then he buys more goods, ain't it?" he concluded. 

"Let him pay for what he's got, " Abe rejoined. 

"It just slipped his mind. He'll pay up fast enough, after he getsmarried. "

"All right! Wait till he pays up, and then we'll give him a present. "

"Now lookyhere, Abe, " Morris protested, "you can't be small in a matterof this kind. I'll draw a check for twenty-five dollars, and----"

"Twenty-five dollars!" Abe screamed. "You're crazy! When you was marriedlast year, I'd like to know who gives you a present for twenty-fivedollars?"

"Why you did, Abe, " Morris replied. 

"Me?" Abe cried. "Say, Mawruss, I want to tell you something. If you canbuy a fine sterling silver bumbum dish, like what I give you, fortwenty-five dollars, I'll take it off your hands for twenty-seven-fiftyany day!"

"But, Abe----"

"Another thing, Mawruss, " Abe went on. "If you don't like that dish, there ain't no law compelling you to keep it, you understand. Send itback. My Rosie can use it. Maybe we ain't so stylish like your Minnie, Mawruss; but if we don't have bumbums every day, we could put dillpickles into it!"

"One moment, " Morris protested. "I ain't saying anything about thatbumbum dish, Abe. All I meant that if you give _me_ such a high-pricepresent when _I_ get married, that's all the more reason why we shouldgive a high-price present to a customer what we will make money on. Iain't no customer, Abe. "

"I know you ain't, " said Abe. "You're only a partner, and I don't makeno money on you, neither. "

Morris shrugged his shoulders. 

"What's the use of wasting more time about it, Abe?" he said. "Go aheadand buy a present. "

"Me buy it?" Abe cried. "You know yourself, Mawruss, I ain't a successwith presents. You draw the check and get your Minnie to buy it. She'san up-to-date woman, Mawruss, while my Rosie is a back number. She don'tknow nothing but to keep a good house, Mawruss. Sterling silver bumbumdishes she don't know, Mawruss. If I took her advice, you wouldn't gotno bumbum dish. Nut-picks, Mawruss, from the five-and-ten-cent store, that's what you'd got. You might appreciate them, Mawruss; but asterling silver----"

At this juncture Morris took refuge in the outer office, where MissCohen, the bookkeeper, was taking off her wraps. 

"Miss Cohen, " he said, "draw a check for twenty-five dollars to bearer, and enter it up as a gratification to Hyman Maimin. "

At dinner that evening Morris handed the check over to his wife. 

"Here Minnie, " he said, "Abe wants you should buy a wedding present fora customer. "

"What kind of a wedding present?" Mrs. Perlmutter asked. 

"Something in solid sterling silver, like that bumbum dish what Abe gaveus. "

"But, Mawruss, " she protested, "you know we got that bonbon dish lockedaway in the sideboard, and we never take it out. Let's give 'emsomething useful. "

"Suit yourself, " Morris replied. "Only don't bother me about it. "

"All right, " Mrs. Perlmutter said. "Leave me the name and address, andI'll see that they send it direct from the store. I'll put one of yourcards inside. "

"And another thing, " Morris concluded. "See that you don't hold nothingout on us by way of commission. "

Mrs. Perlmutter smiled serenely. 

"I won't, " she said, in dulcet tones. 

 * * * * *

It was the fourth day after Potash & Perlmutter's receipt of the weddinginvitation. When Morris Perlmutter entered the private office he foundAbe Potash in the absorbed perusal of the _Daily Cloak and Suit Record_. Abe looked up and saluted his partner with a malignant grin. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said, "I suppose you sent that present to HymanMaimin?"

"I sent it off long since already, " Morris replied. 

"I hope it was a nice one, Mawruss, " Abe went on "I hope it was a realnice one. I'm sorry now, Mawruss, we didn't spend fifty dollars. Thatwould have made it an even seven hundred, instead of only six hundredand seventy-five, that Hyman Maimin owed us. "

"What d'ye mean?" cried Morris. 

"I don't mean nothing, Mawruss--nothing at all, " Abe said, with ironicalemphasis. He handed the paper to Morris. "Here, look for yourself!"

He pointed with a trembling forefinger at the "business-troubles"column, and Morris's eyes seemed to bulge out of his head as he scannedthe printed page:

 A petition in bankruptcy was filed late yesterday afternoon against Hyman Maimin, 83 West Tonawanda Street, Syracuse. It is claimed that he transferred assets to the amount of eight thousand dollars last week. Mr. Maimin says that he has been doing business at a heavy loss of late, but that he hopes to be able to resume. A settlement of thirty cents is proposed. 

Morris sat down in a revolving-chair too crushed for comment, anddrummed with a lead pencil on the desk. 

"I wonder if he done up his intended father-in-law, too?" he said atlength. 

"No fear of that, Mawruss, " Abe replied. "He ain't no sucker like us, Mawruss. I bet you his father-in-law--what's his name----"

"The Advance Credit Clothing Company, " Morris suggested. 

"Sure, " Abe went on. "I bet you this clothing concern says to him: 'Ifyou want to marry my daughter, you gotter go into bankruptcy first. Then, when you're all cleaned up, I'll give you a couple of thousanddollars to start as a new beginner in another line. ' Ain't it?"

Morris nodded gloomily. 

"No, Mawruss, " Abe continued. "I bet you his father-in-law is a bigcrook like himself. "

He rose to his feet and opened the large green-and-red covered bookfurnished by the commercial agency to which they subscribed. 

"I'm going to do now, Mawruss, what you should have done before you sentthat present, " he said. "I'm going to look up this here Advance CreditClothing Company. I bet you he ain't even in the book--what?"

Before Morris could reply, the letter-carrier entered with the morningmail. While Abe continued to run his thumb down the columns of thecommercial agency book, Morris began to open the envelopes. Both theirheads were bent over their tasks, when an exclamation arosesimultaneously from each. 

"Now, what d'ye think of that?" said Abe. 

"Did y' ever see anything like it?" Morris cried. 

"What is it?" Abe asked. 

For answer, Morris thrust a letter into his partner's hand. It washeaded, "The Advance Credit Clothing Company--Marcus Bramson, Proprietor, " and read as follows:

 MESSRS. POTASH & PERLMUTTER. 

 GENTS:

 Your shipment of the 5th is to hand, and in reply would say that we are returning it _via_ Blue Line on account Miss Tillie Bramson's engagement is broken. We understand that lowlife H. Maimin got into you for six hundred and fifty dollars. Believe me, he done us for more than that. Our Mr. Bramson will be in New York shortly, and will call to look at your line. Hoping we will be able to do business with you, Yours truly, THE ADVANCE CREDIT CLOTHING COMPANY, Per T. B. 

Abe Potash laid down the letter with a sigh, while his thumb stillrested caressingly on the open page of the mercantile agency book. 

"So he's going to send back the present!" he said. "That man MarcusBramson, proprietor, has a big heart, Mawruss. He's a man with finefeelings and a fine disposition, Mawruss. He's got a fine rating too, Mawruss--seventy-five to a hundred thousand, first credit!" He closedthe book almost lovingly. "D'ye think they would give the money back forthat present, Mawruss?"

"I don't know, " said Morris. "Minnie bought it, and she told me it was abig bargain. It was a sale, she said, but I guess they'll take it back. "

"What did it look like?" Abe said. 

"I didn't see it, " Morris replied. "They sent it direct from the store, but I took Minnie's word for it. She said it was fine value. "

"And Minnie, " Abe concluded, "is a fine, up-to-date woman. "

 * * * * *

Two days later, Abe Potash spotted the name of Marcus Bramson in the"Arrival of Buyers" column of a morning newspaper. 

"Mawruss, " he cried, "he's come!"

"Who's come?" Morris asked. 

"Marcus Bramson, " Abe replied, reaching for his hat. "I'm going over tothe Bingler House now to meet him. You wait here till I come back. I betyou we sell him a big bill of goods!"

As Abe went out of the store by the front door, an expressman, bearing asquare wooden box, entered the rear alley. He brought the packagestraight to Miss Cohen, who signed a receipt, and summoned Mr. Perlmutter. Morris proceeded to pry off the cover. 

"This is something what Mrs. Perlmutter bought for Hyman Maimin'swedding present, " he explained. "I ain't never seen it yet. "

He pulled out a number of wads of tissue paper. When he finally reacheda piece of silverware, he turned the box upside down and shook out theremainder of its contents upon a sample table. 

"Oh, Mr. Perlmutter, " Mist Cohen exclaimed, clasping her hands, "what abeautiful bonbon dish! What a lovely wedding present!"

Morris looked at the bonbon dish, and beads of perspiration started onhis forehead. 

"Ain't Mrs. Perlmutter got good taste!" Miss Cohen went onenthusiastically. 

Morris said nothing, but picked up the silver dish. Examining thepolished centre carefully, he discerned the indistinct initials "M. P. "almost but not quite effaced by buffing. Undoubtedly it was the samebonbon dish. 

He gathered up the tissue paper and carefully arranged it in the box asa bed for the silver dish. Then he put the cover on, and nailed it down. 

"Ain't you going to let Mr. Potash see it?" Miss Cohen asked. "He ain'tnever seen it before, neither, has he?"

Morris frowned. 

"I think he has, " he replied. "Anyhow, I'm going to send it right uptownby messenger boy. "

"Do you think they'll exchange it?" Miss Cohen inquired. 

"Oh, I guess it will be put back in stock all right, " said Morris, turning away. 

 * * * * *

The next morning, when Morris entered the store, Abe was busy figuringon the back of a torn envelope. 

"Hello, Mawruss!" he cried, looking up. "Ain't it beautiful weather?"

Morris agreed that it was. 

"That Mr. Bramson, " Abe went on, "that's one fine gentleman, Mawruss. Heain't what you'd call a close buyer, neither, Mawruss. "

"No?" Morris commented. 

"The way I figure it, " Abe continued, "reckoning on what we lost byHyman Maimin, if he settles for thirty cents, and what we make out ofMr. Bramson's first order, we come out even to the dollar!"

"So?" Morris murmured. 

"All excepting that wedding present, Mawruss, " Abe. "By the way, Mawruss, ain't that wedding present come back yet?"

"Why, sure, " said Morris. "It come back yesterday, when you were out. "

"Why ain't you showed it to me? Ain't I got no right to see it, Mawruss?"

"Of course you got a right to see it, " Morris assented, "but I thoughtI'd get it right up town to Minnie and have it exchanged. "

"And did she exchange it?" Abe asked. 

"Well, it's like this, " Morris explained. "Minnie liked it so well thatshe decided on keeping it, so I'll give the firm my personal check fortwenty-five dollars. "

Abe puffed hard on his cigar. 

"You're a purty generous feller, Mawruss, " he commented, "to give Minniea present like that--for nothing at all, ain't it?"

"Oh, no, I ain't Abe, " Morris replied. "I ain't giving it to her fornothing at all. I'm taking it out of her housekeeping money, Abe--fivedollars a month!"

CHAPTER NINE

FIRING MISS COHEN

"There's no use talking, Abe, " Morris Perlmutter declared to hispartner, Abe Potash, as they sat in the sample-room of their spaciouscloak-and-suit establishment. "We got a system of bookkeeping that woulddisgrace a peanut-stand. Here's a statement from the Hamsuckett Mills, and it shows a debit balance of eleven hundred and fifty dollars what weowe them. Miss Cohen's figures is eleven hundred and forty-two. "

"That's in our favour already, " Abe replied. "The Hamsuckett people mustbe wrong, Mawruss. "

"No, they ain't, Abe, " Morris said. "It's Miss Cohen's mistake. "

"Mistake?" Abe exclaimed. "When it's in our favour, Mawruss, it ain't nomistake!"

"It's a mistake, anyhow, no matter in whose favour it is, " said Morris. "Miss Cohen's footing was wrong. She gets carelesser every day. "

"I'm surprised to hear you that you should talk that way, Mawruss, " Aberejoined. "Miss Cohen's been with us for five years, and we ain't lostnothing by her, neither. You know as well as I do, Mawruss, her uncle, Max Cohen, is a good customer of ours. Only last week he bought of us abig bill of goods, Mawruss. "

"Just the same, Abe, " Morris went on, "if we get a bright young man inthere, instead of Miss Cohen, it would be a big improvement. We ought toget some one in there what can manage a double entry, and can run acard-index for our credits. "

Abe puffed vigorously at his cigar. 

"I suppose, Mawruss, if we got a card-index and we sell a crook a billof goods, " he commented, "and the crook busts up on us, Mawruss, thatcard-index is going to stop him from sticking us--what? Well, Mawruss, if you want to put in a young feller and fire Miss Cohen, go ahead--I'msatisfied. "

As if to clinch the matter before his partner could retract thissomewhat grudging consent, Morris Perlmutter stalked out of thesample-room and made resolutely for the glass-enclosed office, whereMiss Cohen was busy writing in a ledger. She looked up as he entered, and surveyed him calmly with her large black eyes. 

"Oh, Mr. Perlmutter!" she said when he came within ear-shot, "Uncle Maxwas round to the house last night, and he wants you should duplicatethem forty-twenty-twos in his last order and ship at once. "

Morris stopped short. This was something he had not foreseen, and allhis well-formulated plans for the firing of Miss Cohen were shattered atonce. 

"Oh!" he said lamely. "Thank you, Miss Cohen; I'll make a memorandum ofit. " He went over to the commercial agency book and scanned three orfour pages with an unseeing eye. Then he repaired to the sample room, where Abe sat finishing his cigar. 

"Well, Mawruss, " said Abe, his face wreathed in a malicious grin, "youmade a quick job of it. "

Morris scowled. 

"I ain't spoken to her yet, " he grunted. "I got a little gumption, Abe--a little consideration and common sense. I don't throw out my dirtywater until I get clean. "

Abe puffed slowly before replying. 

"I seen some people, Mawruss, " he said, "what sometimes throws outperfectly clean water, and gets some dirty water in exchange, Mawruss. "He threw away the stump of his cigar. 

"Sometimes, Mawruss, " he concluded solemnly, "they gets a good, bigsouse, Mawruss, where they least expect it. "

 * * * * *

Ike Feinsilver, city salesman for the Hamsuckett Mills--Goldner &Plotkin, proprietors--was obviously his own ideal of a well-dressed man. His shirts and waistcoats represented a taste as original as it was notsubdued; but it was in the selection of his neckties that he reallyexcelled. Abe and Morris fairly blinked as they surveyed his latestacquisition in cravats when he entered the door of their store thatafternoon, smiling a pleasant greeting at his prospective customers. 

He presented so brilliant a picture that Miss Cohen was drawn from herdesk in the glass-enclosed office toward the trio in the sample room asinevitably as the moth to the candle flame. She took up some cuttingslips from a table, by way of excuse for her intrusion, but the blushand smile with which she acknowledged Ike's rather perfunctory nodbetrayed her. Abe was fingering the Hamsuckett swatches, but MissCohen's embarrassment did not escape Morris Perlmutter. He marked itwith an inward start, and immediately conceived a brilliant idea. 

"Ike, " he said, when Abe had completed the giving of a small order andhad left them alone together, "a young feller like you ought to getmarried. "

Ike was non-committal. 

"Sure Mawruss, " he replied. "Every young feller ought to get married. "

"I'm glad you look at it so sensible, Ike, " Morris went on. "Gettingmarried right, Ike, has been the making of many a young feller. Whered'ye suppose Goldner & Plotkin would be to-day if they hadn't gotmarried right? They'd be selling goods for somebody else, Ike. ButGoldner, he married Bella Frazinsky, with a couple of thousand dollarsmaybe; and Plotkin, he goes to work and gets Garfunkel's sister--she waspretty old, Ike; but if she ain't got a fine complexion, Ike, she got acouple of thousand dollars, too, ain't it? Well, Plotkin with his twothousand and Goldner with his two thousand, they start in together asnew beginners. They gets the selling agency for the Hamsuckett people, and then they makes big money and buys them out. To-day Goldner &Plotkin is rich men, and all because they got married _right_!"

Feinsilver listened with parted lips. 

"And now, Ike, " Morris continued, "the good seed sown, we talked enough, ain't it? Come on to the office. I want to show you some little mistakesin the Hamsuckett statement. "

He conducted Ike to the glass-enclosed office, where Miss Cohen bent lowover her ledger. The blush with which she had received Ike's greetinghad not entirely disappeared; and, as she glanced up, her large blackeyes looked like those of a frightened deer. Morris was forced to admitto himself that if her bookkeeping was doubtful, at least there could beno mistake about her charms. As for Ike, now that the business ofsecuring orders was done with, he surrendered himself to gallantry, forwhich he had a natural aptitude. 

"Ah, Miss Cohen, " he said, "ain't it a fine weather?"

A pleased smile spread itself over Morris's face. 

"I think I hear the telephone in the sample room, " he broke inhurriedly. "Excuse me for a moment. "

When he returned, Ike and Miss Cohen were chatting gaily. 

"What do you think of _that_?" Morris cried. "My Minnie just rang me upand says she got tickets for the theayter to-morrow night--two tickets. We can't use 'em, because we're going to a--a wedding. Would you twoyoung folks like to go, maybe?"

"Why, sure, " Ike said. "Sure we would. Wouldn't we, Miss Cohen?"

Miss Cohen assented bashfully. 

"Well, then, " said Morris, "I'll get 'em for you--I mean I'll send 'emyou by mail to-night, Ike. "

Ike was profuse in his thanks; and then and there arranged to call forMiss Cohen at half-past seven, sharp, the following evening. 

Morris beamed his approval and shook hands heartily with Ike as thelatter turned to leave. 

"How about that mistake in the statement?" Ike asked. 

"Some other time, " said Morris, walking with Ike toward the store-door. Then he sank his voice to a confidential whisper. "That's a fine girl, Miss Cohen, " he went on. "Comes of fine family, too. She's Max Cohen'sniece. You know Max Cohen. He's the Beacon Credit Outfitting Company. He's a _millionaire_, Ike. If he's worth a cent, he's worth a hundredthousand dollars!"

Ike turned on him an awed yet searching look as they clasped hands againin parting. 

"I give you my word, Ike, she's his favourite niece, " Morris concluded, "_and he ain't got no children of his own_. "

 * * * * *

The ensuing week was a busy one for all concerned. Abe was occupied inthe store with an unusual rush of spring trade, Morris had his handsfull in the office and cutting-room; but Miss Cohen and Ike Feinsilverhad been busiest of all, for in less than six days after their visit tothe theatre a solitaire diamond-ring sparkled on the third finger of thelady's left hand. 

"Well, Mawruss, " Abe said ten days later, "I suppose you fired MissCohen?"

"Me fire Miss Cohen?" Morris exclaimed. "I'm surprised to hear you thatyou should talk that way, Abe. What for should I fire Miss Cohen?"

"Why, last week you said you was going to fire her, ain't it?"

"Last week, " Morris replied, "was another day. If I ain't got no moresense than that I should go to a fine young lady like Miss Cohen, andsay, 'Miss Cohen, you're fired, ' after she worked for us five years, andher uncle also a good customer, I should be sorry, Abe. "

"Then, we're going to keep her, after all--what?" Abe said. 

"No, we ain't going to keep her, " said Morris. "We're going to loseher. "

"_Lose_ her! What d'ye mean?"

Morris smiled in a superior way. 

"Abe, " he said, "you ain't got no eyes in your head. Ain't you noticedthat ring on Miss Cohen's left hand?"

Abe stared in astonishment. 

"It's a beauty, Abe, " Morris went on. "A bright young feller like IkeFeinsilver don't get stuck, no matter what he buys. He got it throughPlotkin's cousin down on Maiden Lane. "

Abe sat down to ponder over the news. 

"You mean, " he said at length, "that Ike Feinsilver, of the HamsuckettMills, is going to marry Miss Cohen?"

"You guessed it right, Abe, " Morris replied. 

"And who fixed it up?" said Abe. 

Morris slapped his chest proudly. 

"I did, " he replied. 

Abe smoked on in silence. 

"I suppose I must congratulate her, Mawruss?" he said at length, starting to rise. 

"There's no hurry, " said Morris. "I let her go uptown this morning. Shewanted to do some shopping. "

Abe sat down again. 

"You done a smart piece of work, Mawruss, I must say, " he admitted. "Ike's a good feller, and Miss Cohen'll make him a good wife, even ifshe ain't a good bookkeeper. Also, we done a good turn to Max Cohen. Ibet he's pleased. I wonder he ain't been around yet. "

Hardly had the words issued from Mr. Potash's mouth, when the store-dooropened to admit a short, thick-set person, and then closed again with abang that threatened every pane of glass in the vicinity. There was nohesitation about the newcomer's actions. He made straight for the sampleroom, and had almost reached it before Abe could scramble to his feet. The latter rushed forward and grabbed the visitor's hand. 

"Mr. Cohen, " he cried, "what a pleasure this is! I congratulate you!"

Mr. Cohen withdrew his hand from Abe's cordial grasp. 

"You congradulate _me_, hey?" he said, with slow and ironic emphasis. "Mawruss Perlmutter _also_ congradulates me--what?" He fixed the unhappyMorris with a terrible glare. "Don't congradulate _me_, " he went on. "Congradulate Ike Feinsilver and Beckie Cohen. " He gathered force as heproceeded. "Fools!" he continued in a rapid crescendo. "Meddlers! Youspill my blood! You ruin me! I'm a millionaire, you tell Feinsilver. I've got nothing to do with my money but that I should throw it away inthe street!"

"_Mister_ Cohen, " Morris protested, "you'll make yourself sick. "

"I'll make _you_ sick!" Cohen rejoined. "I'll make for you a blue eye, too. _Five thousand dollars_ I got to give her!"

Abe whistled involuntarily. 

"I should think two thousand would be plenty, " he suggested. 

Max Cohen turned on him with another glare. 

"What!" he shrieked. "Am I a beggar? Should I give my niece a miserabletwo thousand dollars? Ain't I got no pride? I _got_ to make it fivethousand!" He paused while his imagination dwelt on the magnitude ofthis colossal sum. "Five thousand dollars!" he shrieked again, "andbusiness the way it is!"

Mr. Perlmutter laid a soothing palm on Cohen's shoulder. 

"But, Mr. Cohen, " he said, "what can _we_ do? Why should you tell _us_all this?"

Mr. Cohen shook off Morris's caress. 

"You're right, " he said. "Why should I tell you all this? I didn't comehere to tell you this. I come here to tell you something else. I comehere to tell you to cancel all orders what I give you. Also, if you oryour salesman come by my place ever again, look out; that's all. The wayI feel it now, I'll murder you!" He turned to leave. "And anotherthing, " he concluded. "One thing, you can depend on it. So far what Ican help it, you don't sell one dollar's worth of goods to any of myfriends, never no more!"

Again the door banged explosively, and Mr. Cohen was gone. 

For ten minutes there was an awed silence in the sample room. At lengthAbe looked at his partner with a sickly smile. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said, "you made a nice mess of it, ain't you?"

Morris was too stunned to reply. 

"That's what comes of not minding your own business, " said Abe. "We losea good customer, and maybe several good customers. We lose a goodbookkeeper, too, Mawruss--one what has been with us for five years; andalso we are out a wedding present. "

"I meant it good, " Morris protested. "I done it for the best. It says inthe Talmud, Abe, that we are commanded to promote marriages. "

Abe waggled his head solemnly. 

"This is the first time I hear it, that you are a Talmudist, Mawruss!"he said. 

A month passed, and Miss Cohen continued to apply herself to her dailytask at Potash & Perlmutter's books. 

"I don't understand it, Mawruss, " Abe said one morning. "Why don't thatgirl quit her job? She must have all sorts of things to do--clothes tobuy and furniture to pick out, ain't it?"

Perlmutter shrugged his shoulders. 

"I spoke to her about it, " he replied, "and she says so long as we're sobusy here, she guesses she will stay on the job as long as she can. Shesays her mommer and her sister can do all the shopping for her. "

"You see, Mawruss, what a mistake you make, " Abe commented with a sigh. 

"That's a fine girl, that Miss Cohen!"

Morris nodded gloomily. He began to realize that he had made a mistake, after all. Only that morning Mrs. Perlmutter had demanded twenty dollarswith which to make over her best frock for Miss Cohen's wedding. 

"Sure, she's a fine girl, " he agreed; "but you got to admit yourself, Abe, that a growing business like ours needs a hustling young man for abookkeeper. "

"That's all right, too, Mawruss, " said Abe; "but you also got to admitthat what a growing business like ours needs most of all, Mawruss, iscustomers; and so far what I see, we don't gain any customers by this. Also, my wife has got to make a new dress for the wedding. She told meso this morning. "

Morris made no reply. He was growing heartily sick of this business offiring Miss Cohen, and consoled himself with the thought that thewedding was fast approaching, and that they would be rid of her forgood. 

At length the wedding-day arrived. Miss Cohen left Potash & Perlmutter'sat four o'clock, for the ceremony was set for half-past seven in theevening. Her parting with her employers was an embarrassing one for allthree. Abe handed her a check for twenty-five dollars, with the firm'sblessing, and Morris shook her hand in comparative silence. He had doneand suffered much for that moment of leave-taking; and further thanwishing her a long and happy married life, he said nothing. As for Abe, the squandering of twenty-five dollars, without hope of return, temporarily exhausted his capacity for emotion. 

"Good luck to you, Miss Cohen, " he said. "Hope we see you again soon. "

"Oh, sure!" Miss Cohen replied cheerfully. "You'll be at the weddingto-night?"

Abe nodded--they all nodded--and then, with a final handshake allaround, Miss Cohen departed. 

It must be confessed that the wedding reception that evening was a veryenjoyable occasion for all the guests, with the possible exception ofMax Cohen. The wine flowed like French champagne at four dollars aquart, while, as Morris Perlmutter at once deduced from the careful wayin which the waiters disguised the label with a napkin, it was reallydomestic champagne of an inferior quality. Nevertheless, Abe Potashdrank more than his share, in a rather futile attempt to get back, inkind, part of the twelve and a half dollars he had contributed towardMiss Cohen's wedding-present, to say nothing of the cost of his wife'sgown. 

Consequently, on the morning after the festivities he entered his placeof business in no very pleasant frame of mind. He found that Morris hadalready arrived. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said in greeting, "everything went off splendid--forFeinsilver. Max Cohen came down with a certified check for five thousanddollars, you and me got rid of about over a hundred, counting thewedding-present and our wives' dresses, and Miss Cohen got a husband anda lot of cut glass, while _me_--I got a headache!"

Morris grunted. 

"I guess you don't feel too good yourself, ain't it?" Abe went on. "Anyhow, you got to get busy now, and find some smart young feller tokeep the books. You got rid of your dirty water, Mawruss; now you got toget some clean. Did you put an 'ad' in the papers, Mawruss?"

"No, I ain't, " Morris snapped. 

"Ain't you going to?"

"What for?" Morris growled. "We don't need no bookkeeper. "

"Why not?" Abe cried. 

Morris nodded in the direction of the office. 

"Because we _got_ one, " he replied. 

Abe turned toward the little glass enclosure. He gasped in amazement, and nearly swallowed the stump of his cigar, for at the old stand, industriously applying herself to the books of Potash & Perlmutter, satMrs. Isaac Feinsilver, _née_ Cohen. 

A moment later the door opened, and Isaac Feinsilver entered, immaculately clothed in a suit of zebra-like design. He proceeded to thebookkeeper's office and kissed the blushing bride; then he repaired tothe sample room. 

"Good morning, Mawruss! Good morning, Abe!" he said briskly. "Ain't it afine weather?" He threw a bundle of swatches upon the sample table. "Mypartners, Goldner & Plotkin, and me"--here he paused to note theeffect--"is putting out a fine line of spring goods, and I want to showyou some. "

Abe and Morris looked over Ike's line in dazed astonishment; and beforethey were really cognizant of what was going on, Ike had booked agenerous order. He gathered up the samples into a neat little heap andput them under his arm. 

"That ain't so bad, " he said, "for a honeymoon order. "

Then he turned and strode toward the bookkeeper's office. Once more hesaluted the lips of his assiduous spouse, and a moment later he waswalking rapidly down the street. Abe looked after him and expelled ahuge breath. 

"You find it in the Talmud that we are commanded to promote marriages, ain't it, Mawruss?" he said. "But one thing's sure, Mawruss--you can'trun a cloak-and-suit business according to the Talmud. " There was ashort silence. "Did you ask her why she comes back, Mawruss?" he said. 

Morris took the end off a particularly black cigar with one viciousbite. 

"I didn't have to ask her. She told me, " he said bitterly. "She says asmart girl can get a husband any day, she says; but a good job is hardto find, and when you got one, you should stick to it!"

CHAPTER TEN

AUX ITALIENS

"What are you talking nonsense, Abe, " Morris Perlmutter declared hotly, one morning in December; "an elegant class of people lives in thehouses. On the same floor with me lives Harry Baskof, which he is justmarried a daughter of Maisener & Finkman. You remember Max Finkman, foryears a salesman for B. Senft & Co. Downstairs is a lawyer, a youngfeller by the name Sholy, and on the ground floor is DoctorEichendorfer. "

"With lawyers, Mawruss, " Abe said, "we got enough to do downtown, ain'tit? Doctors also, Mawruss. I am once living next door to a doctor, andevery time I meet that feller he says 'How do you do?' to me like hewould mean, 'It's a fine day for an operation. ' I get a pain in my rightside whenever I think of him even. "

"Never mind, Abe, " Morris rejoined. "Oncet in a while a doctor in thehouse comes in pretty handy--a lawyer too. A feller could get a wholelot of pointers riding up and down in an elevator with a lawyer. Ain'tit? The only trouble about the house is the family above us, which thelady is all the time hollering like somebody would be giving her alicking already. Minnie says that she hears from our girl that her girlsays she was an opera singer in the old country. "

"Yow, an opera singer in the old country!" Abe exclaimed skeptically. "In Russland they don't got so many opera singers as all that. "

"What d'ye mean, in Russland?" Morris demanded. "The woman ain't fromRussland at all. She's an Italiener. I am coming up in the elevator lastnight with her husband and a friend, and the way they are talking toeach other it sounds like a couple of bushelers in a factory. I tell youthe honest truth, Abe, for me it don't make no difference if a fellerwould be a Frencher _oder_ an Irishman, so long as he treats me white Iwould be a good feller, Abe; but an Italiener, Abe, is something elseagain. An Italiener would as lief stick a knife into you as look at you, Abe, and they smell the whole house out with garlic yet. "

"There's lots of things smells worse as garlic, Mawruss, " Abe retorted, "and as for sticking a knife into you, that's all _schmooes_. There'slots of people worser as Italieners, I bet yer, and when it comes rightdown to it, Mawruss, I'd a whole lot sooner have a couple Italienersworking for me as some of them fellers which they are coming over fromRussland. "

"Since when did you got such friendly feelings for Italieners, Abe?"Morris inquired satirically. 

"Never mind!" Abe exclaimed. "You could knock an Italiener all you want, Mawruss, but you could take it from me, Mawruss, when an Italiener's gotwork to do he don't stand around talking a lot of nonsense instead ofattending to business, like some people I know. "

With this scathing rejoinder Abe trudged off toward the cutting room andMorris proceeded to the office. He had hardly seated himself comfortablyat his desk, however, when Abe burst into the room. 

"That's the way it goes, Mawruss, " he cried. "Half the time we sit and_schmooes_ in the showroom and we don't know what goes on in our cuttingroom at all. "

"What's the matter now?" Morris asked. 

"Harkavy has quit us again, " Abe replied. 

"Quit us!" Morris exclaimed. "What for?"

"Nothing. All I says to the feller was why them piece goods is on thefloor, and he says he is sick and tired and I should get anotherdesigner. "

Morris bit the end off a new cigar and glared ferociously at Abe. 

"So, " he said bitterly, "we lose another designer through you, Abe. Whatdo you think, a designer would stand for abuse the same like a partner, Abe?"

"What d'ye mean--abuse, Mawruss?" Abe protested. "I ain't said no abuseto the feller at all; and even if I would, Mawruss, I guess I could talklike how I want to in my own cutting room, Mawruss. "

Morris rose to his feet. 

"_Schon gut_, Abe, " he said. "Don't ask me I should step right intoHarkavy's shoes and work like a dawg till you are finding a newdesigner, Abe. Them days is past, Abe. "

"You shouldn't worry yourself, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "The way businessis so rotten nowadays, y'understand, we would quick get anotherdesigner. "

"Would you?" Morris cried. "Well, I guess I got something to say aboutthat, Abe. If you think we are going to work to hire a designer which heis getting fired by every John, Dick and Harry, you got another thinkcoming. This time, Abe, I would hire the designer, and don't you forgetit. "

"Did I say I wanted to do it, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Go ahead and hirehim, Mawruss, only one thing I got to ask you as a favour: don't say thefeller was my choice, Mawruss; because I wipe my hands from the wholematter. "

For the remainder of the day Morris and Abe maintained only suchspeaking relations as were necessary to the conduct of their business, and when Morris went home that evening he wore so gloomy an air thatHarry Baskof, who rode up on the elevator with him, was moved tocomment. 

"What's the matter, Mawruss?" he said. "You look like your best customerwould be asking an extension on you. "

"We don't sell such people at all, Harry, " Morris said bitterly. "Collections is all right, Harry, but when a feller's got a partnerwhich he is got such a quick temper, understand me, that he fires outthe help faster as I could hire 'em--I got a right to look worried. Ourdesigner leaves us to-day. "

"Ain't that terrible, Mawruss, " Harry said in mock sympathy. "I supposeyou couldn't walk for miles on Fifth Avenue between Eighteenth andTwenty-third Street and break your neck falling over a hundred designerswhich they are hanging around there looking for jobs. "

They alighted at the third floor and Morris drew his latchkey from hiswaistcoat pocket. 

"Sure, I know, Harry, " he retorted. "Them people which they already gotdesigners could always find a better one, y'understand, but when youain't got a designer, Harry, that's something else again. You couldadvertise until you are blue in the face, and all the answers you get isfrom fellers which they couldn't design a sausage casing for afrankfurter already. "

"_Schmooes_, Mawruss!" Harry cried. "I could get you thousands ofdesigners. In fact, Mawruss, only this afternoon my father-in-law, Mr. Finkman, sends me over a man which he is working for years by Senft &Co. As a designer, I should give him a job. I already got a gooddesigner, so what could I do?"

"Why didn't you think to send him over to me, Harry?" Morris said. 

"How should I know you wanted a designer?" Harry rejoined. "But, anyhow, maybe it ain't too late yet. After supper I would ring up Mr. Finkmanand I'll let you know. "

"Much obliged, " Morris said, as he turned the key and entered his ownapartment. He was so far restored to good humour by his conversationwith Harry Baskof that when he bestowed his evening kiss on Minnie hefailed to notice that her eyes were somewhat swollen. 

"Yes, Minnie, " he said, "that's the way it is when you got goodneighbours. "

"Good neighbours!" Minnie said bitterly, and then for the first timeMorris observed her swollen eyelids. 

"Why, Minnie _leben_, " he exclaimed as he folded her in a secondembrace, "what's the trouble?"

"Don't, Morris, " Minnie said almost snappishly, as she wriggled awayfrom him; "my waist is mussed up enough from working in the kitchen, without your crushing it. "

"Working in the kitchen!" Morris said. "What's the matter? Is Tilliesick?"

"No, she isn't, " Minnie replied, as she rushed off toward the kitchen. "She's gone. "

Morris hung up his coat and made his perfunctory toilet without anotherword. Despite Minnie's pathetic appearance, there was a dangerous gleamin her eyes that urged Morris to the exercise of the most delicatemarital diplomacy. 

"What a soup!" he exclaimed, as he subjected the first spoonful to along, gurgling inhalation. "If they got such soup as this at theWaldorf, Minnie _leben_, I bet yer the least they would soak you for itis a dollar. "

Following the soup came boiled brisket, a dish that Morris loathed. Ordinarily Morris would have eaten it with sulky diffidence, but whenMinnie bore the steaming dish from the kitchen he not only jumped fromhis seat to take it from her hands, but after he had deposited it on thetable he kissed her on the forehead with lover-like delicacy. 

"How did you know I am thinking all the way up on the subway if Minniewould only got _Brustdeckel_ for supper for a change what a treat itwould be?" he said. 

Minnie's glum face broke into a smile and Morris fairly beamed. 

"What do you bother your head so about a girl leaves you, Minnie_leben_, " he cried. "You could get plenty of girls. On Lenox Avenue afeller could break his neck already falling over girls which is hangingaround looking for jobs. "

"Oh, I know you can get lots of girls, " Minnie agreed, "but you've gotto train them, Morris; but then, too, I wouldn't care so much, but thoseawful Italians upstairs went and stole Tillie away from me. "

"What!" Morris shouted. "Them Italieners done it? Well, what do youthink of that for a dirty trick?"

"And they only pay her three dollars a month more, " Minnie continued. 

"Three dollars a month more, hey?" Morris replied. "Well, that's the wayit is, Minnie. Honestly, Minnie, anybody which they would steal awayfrom you somebody which is working for you, it ain't safe to live in thesame house with them at all. A feller which steals away feller's helpwould pick a pocket. Such cut-throats you couldn't trust at all. " Hehelped himself to some more brisket. 

"Never mind, Minnie, " he said, "if it would be necessary we will pay agirl a couple dollars more a week so long as we get a good one. "

"Will we?" Minnie said. "Since when are you running this house, Morris?"

"I was only talking in a manner of speaking, " he hastened to say. "Wheredo you buy such good _Brustdeckel_, Minnie? Honestly, it takes in a waya genius to pick out such meat. "

"Does it?" Minnie rejoined. "I ordered it over the 'phone, andfurthermore, Morris, if you make so much noise eating it you will wakethe boy. "

"I'm all through, Minnie, " Morris said. "Wait--I'll show you how I couldhelp you wash the dishes. "

As he started for the kitchen with one butterplate in his hand thedoorbell rang, whereupon he returned the butterplate to the dining-roomtable and hastened down the hall. 

"Hallo, Mawruss, " cried Harry Baskof as Morris opened the door. "I rungup the old man and he says he got the feller a job with SammetBrothers. "

"Come inside, " Morris answered, and led the way to the parlour. Hemotioned his visitor to a seat and produced a box of cigars. 

"Do you mean to say the feller got a job as quick as all that?" hecontinued. 

"He sure did, Mawruss, " Harry replied. "He's an elegant designer, Mawruss, and if B. Senft knew his business he never would got rid of himat all. "

"Why, what did he done to B. Senft?" Morris asked. 

"Nothing at all, Mawruss. Senft is crazy. He gets a prejudice againstthe feller all of a sudden on account he's an Italiener. "

"Italiener!" Morris cried. 

"Sure, " Harry replied. "Did you ever hear the like, Mawruss, that a manlike Senft, which his folks _oser_ come over in the Mayflower neither, y'understand, should kick on account a feller is an Italiener? And mindyou, Mawruss, the feller is otherwise perfectly decent, respectablefeller by the name Enrico Simonetti. "

Morris nodded. 

"With a name like that he must got to be a good designer, " he commented, "otherwise Sammet Brothers wouldn't hire him at all. It would take awhole lot more gumption than Leon Sammet got it to call such a fellerfrom the cutting room even. "

"That's all right, Mawruss. You don't have to call such a feller fromthe cutting room. He could run a cutting room as well as designgarments; and in fact, Mawruss, when Sammet Brothers pay that feller twothousand a year, y'understand, they are practically getting him fornothing. "

"Two thousand a year!" Morris exclaimed. "Why, we ourselves would payhim twenty-five hundred. "

"The feller's worth four thousand if he's worth a cent, Mawruss, but theway business is so rotten nowadays he was willing to take two thousand. _Aber_ my father-in-law, Mr. Finkman, told me on the 'phone, the roarthis feller puts up when Leon Sammet offers him eighteen hundred, Leonwas pretty near afraid for his life already. "

"I don't blame him, " Morris commented. "Such highwaymen like SammetBrothers they would beat a feller's price down to nothing. We ain't thatway with our help, Harry. If we would got a good man working by uswe----"

"Morris!" cried a voice from the kitchen. 

"Yes, " Morris replied, jumping to his feet. In less than two minutes hereappeared and approached Harry with an apologetic smile. "Would youexcuse me a couple minutes, Harry?" he asked. "I got to run over to thegrocer for a box of soap powder. Our girl threw up her job on us. "

"I'll go with you, " Harry replied. "I need to get a little air. "

A minute later they walked down the street to Lenox Avenue, and as theyapproached the corner Harry nodded to a short, dark personage who wasproceeding slowly down the street. 

"Al-lo!" he cried, seizing Harry by the arm, "adjer do?"

"Fine, thanks, " Harry said. "Let me introduce you to a friend of mine bythe name Mr. Perlmutter. This is Mr. Simonetti, Mawruss, which I amtalking to you about. "

Morris shook hands limply. 

"You don't tell me, " he said. "You know me, Mr. Simmons? My partner isMr. Potash. I guess you hear B. Senft speak about us. "

"Sure, " Simonetti said. "Mister Senft ees always say: 'Mister Potash andPerlmutter ees nice-a people. ' Sure. "

"Better than Sammet Brothers?" Harry asked. 

Simonetti raised his eyebrows and made a flapping gesture with his righthand. 

"A-oh!" he said. "Sammet Brothers, that's all right too. Not too much-aall right, Mr. Baskof, but is preety good people. I am just-a now go tosee ees-a lawyer for sign-a da contract. "

"Ain't you signed the contract yet?" Morris cried. 

"Not-a yet, " Simonetti answered. "Just-a now I am going. "

"Baskof, " Morris urged, "supposing you and me goes together with Mr. Simonetti to the Harlem Winter Garden and talks the thing over. "

Simonetti looked amazedly at Baskof. 

"Sure, " Baskof said. "It ain't too late if he ain't signed thecontract. "

"What do you mean?" Simonetti asked. 

"Why, I mean this, Simonetti, " Baskof replied. "Sammet Brothers willgive you a contract for two thousand dollars, and Perlmutter here iswilling to pay you twenty-five hundred. Ain't that right, Mawruss?"

Morris nodded. 

"With privilege to renew it, Mawruss, ain't it?"

Again Morris nodded. "One year renewal, " he said. 

Simonetti looked earnestly at Morris, who fumbled in his waistcoatpocket and produced a cigar. 

"Do you smoke, Mr. Simmons?" he began. 

"Simonetti, " the designer interrupted, as he took the cigar and bit offthe end; "and eef ees too much-a you say Simonetti, call me 'Enery. "

When Morris entered his place of business the following morning heappeared to be in no better humour than when he left for home theprevious evening. 

"Well, Abe, " he announced, "I hired a soap powder. "

Abe stared at him for a moment. 

"What are you talking nonsense, you hired a soap powder?" he exclaimed. "Are you _verrückt_?"

Morris snapped his fingers. 

"A soap powder!" he cried. "Hear me talk! I mean a designer. I hired adesigner, Abe, a first-class feller. "

"What d'ye mean, a first-class feller?" Abe demanded. "You are leavinghere last night half-past six, and here it is only eight o'clock nextmorning and already you hired a designer which he is a first-classfeller. How do you know he is a first-class feller, Mawruss? Did youdream it?"

"No, I didn't dream it, Abe, " Morris said as he hung up his hat; "andwhat is more I want to tell you something. Yesterday you are saying Ishould go ahead and hire a designer and not bother you in your head, andto-day you are kicking yet. Well, you could kick all you want to, Abe, because if a feller's partner kicks _oder_ his wife kicks, Abe, he mustgot to stand for it. But just the same, Abe, this here feller comes towork for us Monday morning, and we got with him a contract, all signedand g'fixed by a lawyer, which he gets from us twenty-five hundred ayear for one year, with privilege to renew for another year. "

"Twenty-five hundred dollars!" Abe exclaimed. "By a lawyer? What are youtalking about, Mawruss?"

At this juncture Morris grew purple with rage. 

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " he yelled, "ask me no questions. I am sick andtired of it. You would think if a feller forgets to buy a packet soappowder, y'understand, his wife wouldn't go crazy and ring up the policestation yet, on account I am going with Baskof and this here cutter tosee a lawyer by the name Sholy, which he lives in my flathouse yet. There we are sitting till twelve o'clock fixing up the contract, and ifyou don't like it you could lump it. When I come home I got to getDoctor Eichendorfer yet to tend to Minnie. Five dollars that robbersoaks me, and he lives in the same house with me. Also this lawyer Sholycharges me also twenty-five dollars for drawing the contract, understandme, which Feldman himself would only charge us fifty. Neighbours themfellers is, Abe! Such neighbours I would expect to got it if I am livingnext door to Sing Sing prison. "

For more than an hour Abe pressed the matter no further, but at lengthcuriosity impelled him to speak. "Say, lookyhere, Mawruss, " he began, "couldn't I look at that contract too?"

"Sure you could, " Morris replied. "I'm surprised you ain't got no moreinterest in the matter you didn't ask me before. "

Abe grunted and took the contract that Morris handed to him. "Thisagreement, " it ran, "made and entered into between Abraham Potash andMorris Perlmutter, composing the firm of Potash & Perlmutter, of theBorough of Manhattan, City of New York, parties of the first part, andEnrico Simonetti, of the same place, party of the second part, witnesseth----"

At this point Abe dropped the contract. 

"Mawruss, " he said slowly, "do you mean to told me you are hiring for adesigner an Italiener?"

"Sure, " Morris replied; "why not?"

"Why not!" Abe bellowed. "Why not! Ain't you and me married men? Ain'twe got wives? Ain't you got a child to support as well?"

"What's that got to do with it?" Morris asked. 

"What's that got to do with it?" Abe repeated. "I'm surprised to hear youyou should talk that way, Mawruss. Supposing it is necessary we shouldtell such a feller he is coming down late _oder_ he is doing somethingwhich he shouldn't do, y'understand, then the very first thing you knowhe sticks into us a knife _und fertig_. I suppose, Mawruss, you arefiguring that even if you don't carry such good insurance, Mawruss, yourwife is young and could easy get married again. But with me isdifferencely. My wife ain't so young no longer and----"

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris interrupted, "don't talk no more suchnonsense to me, because I seen the feller and I am sitting with him lastnight over three hours. That feller would no more stick into you a knifeas I would. "

"No?" Abe commented. 

"And furthermore, Abe, when you are saying that Italieners stick knives, understand me, you are talking like a greenhorn. Italieners is decent, respectable people like anybody else, Abe, and just because when you aregoing on the opera a couple Italieners stabs themselves, like I amseeing it last week a show by the name Paliatzki, y'understand, thatain't no sign every Italiener is a stabber, understand me. For thatmatter, Abe, after this here show Paliatzki comes a whole lot of fellersfrom Russland on to the stage, which they are dancing so quick I neverseen the like, understand me, and you know as well as I do, Abe, we gotplenty fellers from Russland working by us here which they could no moredance as they could fly. "

Abe shrugged again. 

"Never mind, supposing they wouldn't be stabbers even, Mawruss, " hecontinued, "if you got working for you an Italiener which you just brokein good, y'understand, so soon as he saves a couple hundred dollars heright away quits you and goes back to the old country. All them fellersis eating is garlic and _Lockshen mit_ holes into it, and you know aswell as I do, Mawruss, for two hundred dollars a feller could buy enough_Lockshen und Knoblauch_ to last him for the rest of his natural life. Whereas Mawruss, you take a feller which he is coming over here fromRussland, y'understand, and he wouldn't go back to the old country notif you was to make him a present of it free for nothing. "

"Is it anything against them Italieners if they save their money, Abe?"Morris asked. 

"All right, Mawruss, " Abe said, "supposing Italieners is such bigsavers, understand me, one thing you must anyhow got to admit, Mawruss. You get a couple Italieners working for you, understand me, and frommorning till night they never give you a minute's peace. Seemingly theymust got to sing. They couldn't help themselves, Mawruss. "

"What do we care if he hollers a little something oncet in a while, Abe?" Morris protested. "We could stand it if he turns out some goodstyles. "

"_If_ he turns out good styles is all right, Mawruss, " Abe said as heturned away. "Lots of accidents could happen to a feller in the garmentbusiness, Mawruss. Burglars could bust into his loft and steal his silkpiece goods on him; he could have maybe a fire; he could fall down theelevator shaft and break, _Gott soll hüten_, his neck. All these thingscould come to a garment manufacturer, Mawruss; but that his designershould turn out some good styles is an accident which don't happen toone garment manufacturer out of a hundred, Mawruss. "

Nevertheless, long before Enrico Simonetti's term of employment hadexpired Abe was obliged to acknowledge his mistake. 

Not only had Enrico proved his efficiency and originality as a designerbut he had exercised the utmost discretion in the management of thecutting room. Moreover, he had little taste for music and never so muchas whistled a melody during working hours. 

"I couldn't make him out at all, Mawruss, " Abe declared one morning. "Actually the feller complains to me this morning he couldn't stand thatlittle greenhorn we hired last week on account he smells so fromgarlic. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris replied, "and he don't smoke and he don't_shikker_, and he tells me yesterday he boards with a family on SecondAvenue which all it costs him is four dollars a week. And yet you, Abe, you are kicking because the feller is an Italiener. "

"When was I kicking to you the feller is an Italiener?" Abe demanded. "Why, you yourself, Mawruss, always says to me Italieners is no good. Ifyou are telling me oncet you are telling me a hundred times about anItaliener family which they are living on top of you, Mawruss, and, tohear you talk, such _Roshoyim_ you wouldn't believe existed at all. "

"Sure, I know, " Morris admitted, "but there's Italieners and Italieners, Abe; and only last night them people sits up till two o'clock thismorning _shikkering_ and hollering. Not alone the woman hollers, Abe, but a feller sings that big song from Paliatzki till I thought my headwould bust. Some one should write to the Board of Health about it, Abe. "

"My _tzuris_!" Abe exclaimed. "If you got living in the same house withyou a lawyer and a doctor, Mawruss, you shouldn't got much troublegetting the Board of Health after them Italieners. And anyhow, Mawruss, if the worser comes to the worst, y'understand, there's one thing youcould always do. 

"What's that?" Morris asked. 

"Move out, " Abe replied, as he started for the cutting room. 

"Yes, Mawruss, " he commented, when he returned five minutes later, "youcould knock the Italieners all you want, but you got to admit they ain'tthrowing their money into the street. Henry is showing me just now abankbook which in the last nine months he is putting away eighteenhundred dollars. "

"That's all right, Abe, " Morris said. "If he would be from _unsereLeute_, y'understand, instead he is putting the money in savings bankand getting 3 per cent. Interest, he would invest it in something elseand make it pretty near double itself soon. "

"What d'ye mean, 3 per cent. Interest?" Abe retorted. "Henry's got hismoney in a bank which they are paying him 5 per cent. Compounded everythree months. Henry ain't no fool, Mawruss. "

"Five per cent. !" Morris exclaimed. "What for a bank would pay 5 percent. Interest, Abe?"

"I don't know what for a bank pays 5 per cent. , Mawruss, " Abe replied, "but you could take it from me, Mawruss, the way Sam Feder discountsperfectly good A number one accounts for them depositors of his whenthey are a little short, Mawruss, not only could the Kosciusko Bankafford to pay five per cent. , Mawruss, but they could also give 6 or 7, and still Sam Feder's wife wouldn't got to pawn none of her diamonds. "

"Does he deposit his money with Feder?" Morris asked. 

"Yow, he deposit his money with Feder, Mawruss!" Abe replied. "Hedeposits his money with a banker by the name Guy-seppy Scratch-oly. "

"Guy-seppy Scratch-oly, " Morris repeated. "That's a fine name for abanker, Abe. "

"Guy-seppy, that's Italian for Yosef, Mawruss, " Abe explained. "AndScratch-oly is an Italian name the same like a feller in Russland wouldbe called Lipschutzky. For that matter, Mawruss, Lipschutzky ain't muchof a name for a banker neither. "

"No, " Morris admitted, "but I'd a whole lot sooner trust my money to afeller by the name Lipschutzky _oder_ Feder, as to one of the Scratchynames, Abe. "

"What is the difference what the banker's name is?" Abe rejoined. "Henrysays the money is all sent by his bank to a branch they got in the oldcountry. _Gott weiss_ what that bank couldn't get for its money in theold country, because you know as well as I do, Mawruss, here in New YorkCity some business men is short oncet in a while, understand me, butover in the old country everybody is short all the time. The way banksdoes business over there, Mawruss, they make Feder's bank look like aFree Loan Association. "

"Sure, I know, Abe, " Morris said gloomily, "and you mark my words, Abe, so soon as Henry's year is up he will follow his money to the oldcountry. "

"You shouldn't worry yourself about that, Mawruss, " Abe saidconfidently. "When a feller's got a contract with a privilege forrenewal at two hundred dollars raise, like Henry got it, understand me, he ain't so stuck on going back to the old country. Two hundred dollarsis a whole lot of money over there, Mawruss. For two hundred dollars inthe old country a----"

"Don't tell me again how much _Lockshen_ mit holes in it a feller couldbuy in the old country, Abe, " Morris interrupted. "There's elegantweather over there and good wine to drink, and places to go and look atwhich they got mountains twicet as high as the Catskills, with olivesand grapes growing on to 'em. "

"I was never crazy about olives, Mawruss. "

"Me neither, " Morris agreed, "but Henry is something else again, and theway that feller is talking to me in the cutting room yesterday, Abe, either he wouldn't be working for us three months from to-day or thesteamers stops running to Italy. "

 * * * * *

"Mawruss, " Abe shouted, at ten o'clock one morning in early March, "where was you?"

"Where was I?" Morris repeated. "I was to the court, that's where Iwas. "

"To the court!" Abe exclaimed. 

"That's what I said, " Morris continued. "We fixed that sucker, me andSholy and Doctor Eichendorfer and Baskof. We got him for a summons forthis afternoon two o'clock he should go to the Jefferson Market PoliceCourt. Till four o'clock this morning them people upstairs sits uphollering and _skiddering_. Minnie and me we couldn't sleep a wink, andBaskof neither. Steals our servant girl yet. I'll show that _Rosher_. "

Abe glared indignantly at his partner. 

"Do you mean to told me, Mawruss, " he said, "that you are fooling awayyour time going on the court because somebody upstairs sings a littlesomething last night?"

"Sings a little something!" Morris cried. "Why, that Italiener hollersPaliatzki till you would think he commits a murder up there. "

"Suppose he did, Mawruss, ain't we got no business to go down here? Herewe are rushed to death already, and you are fooling away your----"

"Don't say that again, Abe, " Morris broke in. "I guess I could take offa couple hours if I want to. "

"Sure, " Abe replied ironically, "and Henry takes off a couple of hoursthis lunchtime. He just told me so, Mawruss. He takes off a couple hourson account he is going downtown to draw some money out of the bank andbuy his ticket. "

"Buy his ticket!" Morris gasped. 

"That's right, " Abe continued, with forced calmness, "because, Mawruss, they wouldn't let no one travel on a steamer without buying a ticket. People what runs steamers is very funny that way, Mawruss. "

Morris grew pale as he removed his coat and hat. 

"What's he buying a steamer ticket for?" he asked. 

"He didn't tell me exactly, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "but I got a sort ofan idee he's going back to Italy, Mawruss, and next time, Mawruss, whenwe hire a designer, understand me, I would do it myself. Also, Mawruss, I would hire a designer which, if he goes back to the old country, y'understand, they would right away take him for a soldier, and then, Mawruss, we wouldn't got to be left without a designer just in themiddle of the busy season. "

"Did you talk to him, Abe?" Morris inquired timidly. "Maybe we couldjolly him into staying. "

Abe nodded again. 

"Maybe you could jolly a duck not to swim in the water, Mawruss, " hecried bitterly. 

"That's all right, Abe, " Morris retorted. "A duck ain't got no use for acouple of hundred dollars bonus. "

"A couple of hundred dollars bonus!" Abe yelled. "Do you mean to say youwould offer that Italiener a bonus?"

"Sure; why not?" Morris asked. "Ain't he a good designer, Abe?"

"I don't care if he was the best designer in the world, Mawruss, " Abereplied firmly. "Before I would give him a couple hundred dollars bonus, understand me, he could go to Italy and a whole lot farther too. "

"Suit yourself, " Morris said, as he commenced to examine the morning'smail. He was midway in the assortment of the firm's sample line when Abeapproached him half an hour later. 

"Mawruss, " he said, "do me the favour. You speak to the feller and seewhat you can do. After all, a couple hundred dollars wouldn't break us. "

"I'm satisfied, " Morris replied, and he walked immediately to thecutting room. 

"What's the matter, Henry, I hear you are leaving us?" he began. 

Henry straightened up from the layer of cloth that was spread before himon the cutting table and passed one hand through his bushy black hair. 

"I gotta no keek, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "Just for my contract is up, so I go. That's all. I like-a da job first-class. Mr. Potash ees ver'good man. Mr. Perlmutter ees too. "

"Then why don't you stay with us?" Morris asked, and Enrico Simonettiheaved a great sigh. 

"I like-a da job first-class, Mr. Perlmutter, I gotta no keek, " hedeclared; "but I can no work. I am seek. "

"Sick!" Morris exclaimed; "well, why didn't you tell us then? We'd onlybe too glad to let you go away for a couple of weeks, Henry. "

Enrico sighed even more deeply. 

"Ees not a seekness for two weeks, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "I am seekjust for see my mudder. Ees old woman--my mudder, Mr. Perlmutter. "

Enrico's large brown eyes grew moist as he proceeded. 

"Yes, I am a-seek, " he went on. "I am a-seek just for see Ischia, Posilipo, Capri, Mr. Perlmutter. You know I am a-seek for see_aranci_--oranges grown on a tree. I am a-seek just for see my ownceet-a, Napoli. Yes, Mr. Perlmutter, I am a-ver' seek. "

He sat down on a stool and bowed his face in his hands, while hisshoulders heaved up and down in the emotion of nostalgia. 

"Think it over, Henry, " Morris said huskily, and departed on tiptoe. Hereturned at once to the assorting of the sample line, nor did he look upwhen Abe came toward him a few minutes afterward. 

"Well, Mawruss, " Abe said, "what did he say?"

"He didn't say nothing, " Morris replied. 

"Why not?" Abe continued. "Didn't he think two hundred was enough?"

"I didn't mention the two hundred to him at all, " Morris answered, "because it wouldn't be no use. You couldn't keep that feller from goingback to the old country, not if you would put him into jail even. He'dbreak out, Abe, believe me. "

Abe nodded slowly. 

"Well, that's the way it goes, Mawruss, " he said bitterly, as Enricowalked toward them from the cutting room. 

"Mr. Potash, " he said, "ascuse me, you geev-a me now leetla time forgoing downtown just for same like I tell-a you dis morning?"

"Go ahead, Henry, " Morris replied. 

"You notta mad at me, Mr. Perlmutter?" Enrico asked anxiously. 

"Why should I got to be mad at you, Henry?" Morris rejoined. "If I wouldfeel the way you do, Henry, me, I wouldn't of waited for my contract tobe up even. "

"Ain't that a fine way for you to talk, Mawruss?" Abe said after Enricohad gone. "You would think you would be glad to get rid of the fellerright in the middle of the busy season. "

Morris shrugged. 

"I don't care if I would got to jump right in and work till twelveo'clock every night, Abe, " he declared. "I would tell him to go home tothe old country if I would got to pay for the ticket myself. "

Abe thrust his hands into his trousers pockets and started to walkgloomily away. 

"Furthermore, Abe, if you want to go out for your lunch, Abe, " Morrisconcluded, "now is the time, because as I told you before, Abe, I got togo on the court at two o'clock. "

"Sure you told me that before, Mawruss, " Abe growled, as he put on hishat and coat; "and when a feller goes to work and deliberately fixesthings so he has got to go on a court, Mawruss, d'ye know the next placehe would go?"

He paused for a retort; but, as Morris made no sign, Abe supplied hisown answer. 

"A lunatic asylum, " he said, and a minute later the elevator doorclanged behind him. 

For almost an hour longer Morris busied himself with the assortment ofthe sample line, and he had about concluded his task when a greatwailing noise came from the cutting room. He jumped to his feet and ranhurriedly to the scene of the uproar. There he found Enrico Simonettiseated on a stool, clutching his hair with both hands, while around himstood a group of his assistants, voicing their anguish like a pack offoxhounds. 

"_Koosh!_" Morris cried. "What is the trouble here?"

The wailing ceased, but Enrico remained seated, his hands stillclutching his bushy hair, while his large brown eyes stared blankly froma face as white as a pierrot. 

"What's the matter?" Morris repeated. 

"His bank busted on him, " said Nathan Schenkman, the shipping clerk. 

"His bank!" Morris cried. "What bank?"

"It ain't a regular bank, " Nathan explained. "He is giving his money toan Italiener which he calls himself a banker, Mr. Perlmutter; and to-daywhen he is going there to get him money the feller's store is locked. Nobody knows where he went to at all. The clerks also is gone. "

"Is that right, Henry?" Morris asked. 

Enrico nodded his head without removing his hands from his hair. 

"There is a big crowd of loafers around the store, " Nathan continued, "which they are saying they would kill the feller if they get him, soHenry comes back here on account he ain't that kind, Mr. Perlmutter. Henry is a decent feller, Mr. Perlmutter. "

Morris looked pityingly at his cutter, who continued to stare at thefloor in stony despair. 

"Might you could do something to get him his money back maybe, Mr. Perlmutter?" Nathan said. 

"I would see when my partner comes in from lunch, " Morris replied, andas he turned to leave the cutting room Abe's bulky form blocked thedoorway. Morris waved him back, and Abe tiptoed to the front of theshowroom followed by Morris. 

"What's the trouble?" Abe asked immediately. 

"Trouble enough, " Morris declared. "Henry's bank busted on him. "

"What!" Abe cried, and Morris repeated the information. 

"Then he wouldn't leave us at all, " Abe said, and Morris nodded sadly. 

"Ain't it terrible?" he commented. 

"Terrible?" Abe asked. "What d'ye mean--terrible? Is it so terrible thatwe wouldn't got to lose our designer right in the middle of the busyseason?"

"I don't mean us, Abe, " Morris said. "I mean for Henry. "

"Henry neither, " Abe rejoined. "Henry would still got his job with twohundred dollars a year raise. "

"And a bonus of two hundred dollars, " Morris added. 

"A bonus of nothing!" Abe almost shouted. "Do you mean to told me youwould pay Henry a bonus of two hundred dollars now that he must got tostay on with us?"

"I sure do, " Morris declared fiercely; "and furthermore, Abe, if youdon't want to pay it I would from my own pocket, and I'm going right into tell him about it now. "

He walked away to the cutting room, and in less than five minutes Aberepented his parsimony. He went on tiptoe to the door of the cuttingroom, where Morris leaned over Enrico, uttering words of consolation andadvice. 

"Mawruss, " Abe hissed, "make it three hundred, the bonus. "

Morris nodded. 

"And, Mawruss, " Abe went on, "it's pretty near quarter of two. Ain't yougoing up there at all?"

 * * * * *

"I should never walk another step if you didn't say two o'clock, " MorrisPerlmutter protested to Philip Sholy as they hastened up the stairway inJefferson Market Police Court. 

"Never mind what I said, " Sholy cried. "It's now anyhow quarter pasttwo, and that dago has got his wife and servant girl and two clerkswaiting in court since twelve o'clock. Eichendorfer and Baskof have beenhere since one o'clock. "

"Say, listen here, Sholy, " Morris said, as they panted up the lastflight, "I came just as soon as I could, and I couldn't come no sooner. "

"Hats off!" the policeman at the door shouted, as Morris walked up theaisle with his attorney, and a moment later they passed into theenclosure for counsel. 

"My client and his witnesses have been here since twelve o'clock, " alawyer was explaining while Morris sat down, "and in the meantime hisplace of business has been closed. "

At this juncture the client in question caught sight of Morris andripped out so strong an Italian expletive that the court interpreternearly swooned. 

"What business is he in?" the magistrate asked. 

"He's in the banking business on Mulberry Street, " the lawyer continued, "and it's impossible to say what harm all this may do him. "

"Call the case again, " the magistrate said. 

"Witnesses in the case of Giuseppe Caraccioli please step forward, " theinterpreter announced, and the policeman in the rear of the courtroomrepeated the injunction to the loungers in the stairway. 

"Guy-seppy Scratch-oly, " he bellowed, and Morris heard him from his seatin the enclosure for counsel. He jumped to his feet and made for thegate. 

"Where are you going?" Sholy demanded, grabbing him by the coat. 

"Leggo my coat!" Morris cried, and the next moment he was taking thestairs three at a jump. Nor had his excitement abated when he burst intohis cutting room half an hour later. 

"Henry, " he gasped, "if I would get your money back for you would youstick out the busy season for us?"

Enrico was chalking designs on a piece of pattern paper when Morrisentered. Beyond a slight pallor he appeared to be quite resigned to hisloss, but at his employer's words he flushed vividly and clutched againat his hair. 

"Leave your hair alone and listen to me, " Morris commented. 

"Sure, sure, " Enrico said tremulously, "I leesten, Mr. Perlmutt. "

"Did you hear what I said?" Morris went on. "If I can get your moneyback for you will you stay on here till the busy season is over?"

"Sure, " Enrico cried; "sure. I notta geevadam how long I stay, you gettamy mon', Mr. Perlmutt. I stay here one, two, t'ree years. "

"All right, " Morris said; "put on your coat and go back to MulberryStreet. Your banker will of opened up again by the time you get there. "

 * * * * *

Ten days afterward Abe and Morris sat in the showroom. 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

MAN PROPOSES

"Ain't it terrible a strong, healthy young feller should go off likethat?" Abe Potash remarked, as he and his partner sat in their showroomone spring morning. "I give you my word I was sitting over inHammersmith's so close to him as I am to you, Mawruss, when ithappened. "

"Was there much excitement?" Morris asked. 

"I bet yer was there excitement!" Abe exclaimed. "Hammersmith sendsacross the street for a doctor, and you ought to seen Leon Sammet theway he acted. 'For Gawd's sake, doctor, ' he says, 'couldn't you donothing for him?' he says. 'He's got a wife and family, ' he says, 'andwe shipped him two thousand dollars goods only last Saturday. '"

"Did they?" Morris asked. 

"How should I know?" Abe said. "Sammet is such a liar, Mawruss, hecouldn't tell the truth no matter how surprised he would be. But onething is sure, Mawruss--Gladstein did owe Sammet Brothers for a big billof goods and the widder paid them out of the insurance. "

"Could she do that when the feller leaves a family, Abe?" Morrisinquired. 

"The feller didn't leave no family, Mawruss, " Abe answered. "Leon Sammetjust takes a chance when he said that to the doctor. As a matter offact, Mawruss, Gladstein was one of them fellers which he ain't got arelation in the world. Mrs. Gladstein neither, except _im_ Russland. That's the way it goes, Mawruss. A feller which he has got so manycousins and uncles that he gets writer's cramp already indorsingaccommodation paper for 'em, understand me, lives to be an old man yet, and all the time his relations and his wife's relations is piling up onhim; while a man like Gladstein which you could really say has a chanceto enjoy life, Mawruss, is got to die. "

Morris nodded. 

"Don't I know it?" he commented. "And I suppose the widder sells out thestore. "

"_Oser a stück_, " Abe said. "She's still running the store, and making afair success of it too. "

"Is that so?" Morris replied. "Well, then, why couldn't we get some ofher trade, Abe? Bridgetown ain't so far away from here. Why don't youtake a run over there sometime and see what you could do with her? Mightyou could sell her some goods maybe. "

"Yow!" Abe exclaimed derisively. "We couldn't sell that woman goods, notif we was to let her have 'em for the price of the findings, Mawruss. She's got an idee that she is getting stuck unless she would buy goodsfrom the same concerns that sold Gladstein. "

"Well, if that's the case, Abe, " Morris said, "she could never make nobig success there. A feller like Leon Sammet would just as lief stick awidder as not--liefer even. "

"Sure, I know, " Abe replied. 

"Then why don't some one give her a couple pointers about that feller, Abe?" Morris inquired. 

Abe nodded solemnly. 

"You know a whole lot about women, Mawruss, I must say, " he commented. "You could give a woman pointers by the dozen about a man, Mawruss, andswear to 'em with six affidavits yet, and what good would it do? It'slike putting a 'Wet Paint' sign up. Everybody feels the paint to see ifit really would be wet. "

"What for a looking woman is she, Abe?" Morris asked, with an obviouseffort at nonchalance. 

"How should I know?" Abe said. "I only seen her a couple times; andanyhow, Mawruss, I don't take it so particular to look at women likeLeon Sammet does, Mawruss. That feller's a regular Don Quicks-toe, Mawruss. He is all the time running around with women. "

"A feller must got to entertain buyers once in a while, Abe, " Morrissaid. 

"Buyers is all right, Mawruss, " Abe declared, "but I guess I been inthis here business long enough that I could tell a buyer from a model. "

"That's all right, Abe, " Morris said. "Leon Sammet may run around thestreets with women, Abe, but that ain't saying he is got intentions tomarry Mrs. Gladstein. A feller like Leon Sammet which he is crowdingfifty pretty close, Abe, ain't looking to marry no widders. Young girlsis all them fellers is looking out for, Abe; and anyhow, Abe, what for amatch is Mrs. Gladstein to a manufacturer? If she expects that sheshould get another husband, Abe, the only hope for her is some retailerwould marry her as a going concern. She couldn't liquidate her businessand come out even, let alone with money enough to get married, Abe. "

"She don't got to got money to get married on, Mawruss, " Abe rejoined. "Any one would be glad to marry such a woman supposing she didn't got acent to her name. She's an elegant-looking woman, Mawruss--not too thinand not too fat, Mawruss, and what a face she got it, Mawruss! My Rosiewas a good-looking woman, Mawruss, and is to-day yet; but Mrs. Gladstein, Mawruss, that's a woman which in a theayter already you don'tsee such a looking woman. She could dress herself, too, I bet yer. Thelast time I was by Bridgetown she is wearing one of our Style 4022 whichSammet _ganvered_ from us and calls the Lily Langtry costume, Mawruss, in a navy shade, understand me; and I don't know nothing about this hereLily Langtry, Mawruss, but I could tell you right now, Mawruss, sheain't got nothing on Mrs. Gladstein when it comes to looks. "

Morris nodded and turned to the contemplation of some cutting-slips, while Abe made ready for lunch. 

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " Morris said, when Abe appeared with his hat on. "I've been thinking about this here Mrs. Gladstein, understand me, and Icome to the conclusion: Why should we give up so easy? Gladstein alwaysdone a good business in that store, y'understand, and if the widder issuch a good-looking woman like you say she is, Abe, there's an openingfor her to attract a big trade in gents' furnishings and hats up there, and at the same time keep the cloak-and-suit end going. "

"What d'ye mean--attract a big trade in gents' furnishings and hats, Mawruss?" Abe demanded indignantly. "If you think the woman is a flirt, Mawruss, you are making a big mistake. "

"Must a woman got to be a flirt that she should sell gents' furnishings, Abe?" Morris asked with some heat. 

"That's all right, Mawruss, " Abe said with a scowl. "A lady ain'tlooking to sell the gents' furnishing trade, Mawruss. "

"I know she ain't, " Morris replied, "but if a woman is good-looking, Abe, naturally she attracts the clothing and furnishing customers, butshe don't got to sell those customers, Abe. Her husband could do that. "

"Her husband could do it?" Abe repeated. "What are you talkingabout--her husband?"

"Sure, her husband, " Morris went on, "and especially if a good-lookingwoman like Mrs. Gladstein would got for a husband a good-looking manlike B. Gurin, understand me, the idee works both ways. Mrs. Gladsteinattracts the clothing trade and B. Gurin sells 'em, y'understand, whileB. Gurin attracts the women's garment trade and Mrs. Gladstein sells'em. "

Abe sat down suddenly and took off his hat. 

"What are you trying to drive into, Mawruss?" he asked. 

"I am trying to drive into this, Abe, " Morris replied: "B. Gurin is agood-looking, up-to-date feller, but he's in wrong with that store ofhis in Mount Vernon. In the first place, the neighbourhood ain't right, y'understand, and in the second place Gurin don't attend to businesslike he should; because he ain't married and he ain't got noresponsibilities. To such a feller, Abe, when it comes to taking a younglady on theayter Saturday night, business is nix, even when Saturday isa big night in Mount Vernon. "

Abe nodded. 

"Furthermore, Abe, " Morris continued, "if we go on selling B. Gurin, Abe, sooner or later he would bust up on us, understand me, and we arenot only out a customer but the least he sticks us is a couple hundreddollars. He owes us two hundred and fifty right now, Abe, since thefirst of the month already. Ain't it?"

Abe nodded again. 

"But you take a young feller like B. Gurin, Abe, " Morris went on, "whichall he needs is a wife to steady him and an up-to-date _Medeena_ likeBridgetown to run a store in, understand me, and if we could put thisthing through, Abe, not only we are doing a _Mitzvah_ for all concerned, Abe, but we are making a customer for life. "

"You mean, Mawruss, " Abe said slowly, "you would try to make up a matchbetween B. Gurin and Mrs. Gladstein?"

"Sure, why not?" Morris said. "It stands in the _Gemara_, Abe, we arecommanded to promote marriages, visit the sick and bury the dead. "

Once more Abe nodded, and this time he managed to impart the quality ofirony to the gesture. 

"Burying the dead is all right, Mawruss, " he said. "From a dead man youdon't get no comebacks, and his relations is anyhow grateful; _aber_ ifyou would make up a match between a couple of people like Mrs. Gladsteinand B. Gurin, what is it? Even if the marriage would be a success, Mawruss, then the couple claims they was just suited to each other, Mawruss, and we don't get no credit for it anyway. On the other hand, Mawruss, if they don't agree together, they wouldn't hate each othernear so much as they'd hate us. "

"Why should they hate us?" Morris asked. "Our intentions is anyhowgood. "

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, " Abe retorted. "From having good intentionsalready, many a decent, respectable feller goes broke. "

Morris flapped the air impatiently with his right hand. 

"Anybody could sit down and talk proverbs, Abe, " he said. 

"I guess I could talk proverbs in my own store, Mawruss, if I want to, "Abe rejoined with dignity. 

"Sure you could, " Morris replied, "but one thing you got to remember, Abe. While the back-number is saying look out before you jump, theup-to-date feller has jumped already, and lands on afive-thousand-dollar order _mit_ both feet already. "

 * * * * *

"I'll tell you, Mr. Perlmutter, it's like this, " B. Gurin explained, ashe sat in his Mount Vernon store that evening; "money don't figure atall with me. "

"Where is the harm supposing she does got a little money, Gurin?" Morrisprotested. "And, anyhow, never mind the money, Gurin. We will say forthe sake of example she ain't got no money. Does it do any harm to lookat the woman?"

B. Gurin passed his hand through his wavy brown hair, cut semi-pompadourin the latest fashion. There was no denying B. Gurin's claims to beauty. 

"What is the use talking, Mr. Perlmutter?" he said, carefully examininghis finger-nails. "I am sick and tired of looking at 'em. Believe me Iain't lying to you, if I looked at one I must of looked at hundreds. Thefathers was rated at the very least D to F first credit, and what is it?The most of 'em I wouldn't marry, not if the rating was Aa 1 even, suchfaces they got it, understand me; and the others which is got the looks, y'understand, you could take it from me, Mr. Perlmutter, they couldn'teven cook a pertater even. "

"Girls which they got D to F fathers don't got to cook pertaters, "Morris commented shortly. 

B. Gurin shrugged. 

"For that matter, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "I don't take it soparticular about my food neither. "

"Say, lookyhere, Gurin, " Morris exclaimed. "What is the trouble with youanyhow? First you are telling me you don't care about money, next youare kicking that the good-looking ones couldn't cook, y'understand, andthen you say you ain't so particular about cooking anyway. What for akind of girl do you want, Gurin?"

Gurin continued to examine his finger-nails and made no reply. 

"Because, Gurin, " Morris concluded, "if you are looking for a homelygirl which she ain't got no money and couldn't cook, understand me, Iwouldn't fool away my time with you at all. Such girls you don't need meto find for you. "

B. Gurin sighed profoundly. 

"You shouldn't get mad, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said, "if I tell yousomething?"

"Why should I get mad, Gurin?" Morris asked. "I am coming all the way uphere, which I am leaving wife and boy at home to do so--and maybe youdon't think she put up a holler, Gurin! So if you wouldn't even consentto do me the favour and look at Mrs. Gladstein, Gurin, and I don't getmad, understand me, why should I get mad if you would tell mesomething?"

"Well, " Gurin commenced, "it ain't much to tell, Mr. Perlmutter. I guessyou hear already why I am coming to this country. "

Morris elevated his eyebrows. 

"I suppose you are coming here like anybody else comes here, " he said. "Sooner as stay in the old country and be a _Schnorrer_ all your life, you come over here, ain't it?"

"No, siree, sir, " Gurin replied emphatically. 

"If I would stay in the old country, Perlmutter, I don't got to be a_Schnorrer_. Do you know Louis Moses, the banker in Minsk?"

Morris nodded. 

"That's from _mir_ an uncle, _verstehst du_?" Gurin said; "and Zachs, the big corn merchant, that's also an uncle. My father ain't a_Schnorrer_ neither, Mr. Perlmutter; in fact, instead I am sending homemoney to Russland like most fellers which they come to this country, Mr. Perlmutter, my people sends me money yet. "

He jumped from his chair and went to the safe, from which he extractedtwo crisp Russian banknotes. 

"A hundred rubles apiece, " he said, and his face beamed with pride. "So, you see, I don't got to leave Russland because I would be a _Schnorrer_over there. "

"No?" Morris replied. "Then why did you leave, Gurin? So far what Icould see you ain't made it such a big success over here. "

"You couldn't make me mad by saying that, Mr. Perlmutter, " Gurincommented. "A big success _oder_ a big failure, it makes no differenceto me. "

"It makes a whole lot of difference to me, " Morris cried. 

"Yes, Mr. Perlmutter, " B. Gurin went on, disregarding the interruption. "I ain't coming over here to make a big success in business. I am comingover here to forget. "

"To forget!" Morris exclaimed. "What d'ye mean, forget?"

B. Gurin ran his hands once more through his pompadour and noddedslowly. 

"That's what I said, " he repeated--"to forget. "

"Well, I hope you ain't forgetting you owe us now two hundred and fiftydollars since the first of the month yet, " Morris commented in dry, matter-of-fact tones. 

B. Gurin waved his hand airily. 

"I could forget that easy, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said--and Morriswinced--"but the rest I couldn't forget at all. Day and night I see herface, Mr. Perlmutter--and such a face!"

Here he paused impressively. 

"N-nah!" he exclaimed, and kissed the tips of his fingers, while Morrisglanced uneasily toward the door. 

"Her name was Miss Polanya and her father keeps a big flour mill inKoroleshtchevitzi, Mr. Perlmutter, " Gurin went on. "A fine family, understand me; and I am going out there from Minsk twice a week, when ayoung feller by the name Lutsky--a corn broker, y'understand--comes tosell her father goods. "

Again B. Gurin paused, his left hand extended palm upward in a tremulousgesture. Suddenly it dropped on his knee with a despondent smack. 

"In two weeks already they was married, " he concluded, "and me, I amcoming to America. "

"You ain't coming to such a bad place neither, " Morris rejoined; "evensupposing your uncles was such big _Machers_ in the old country. "

"Places is all the same to me now, " Gurin said--"women, too, Mr. Perlmutter. I assure you, Mr. Perlmutter, since the day I am leavingMinsk one woman is the same as another to me. I ain't got no use fornone of 'em. "

"_Geh weg_, Gurin, " Morris cried impatiently. "You talk like a fool. Justbecause one lady goes back on you, understand me, is that a reason youwouldn't got no use for no ladies at all? You might just as well say, Gurin, because one customer busts up on you, y'understand, you wouldnever try to sell another customer so long as you live. Now this hereMrs. Gladstein, Gurin, is a lady which while I never seen this here lady_im_ Russland, y'understand, if you will just come out to Bridgetownwith me, Gurin, I give you a guaranty Russland wouldn't figure at all. "

Gurin shook his head sadly. 

"You don't know me, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "While I am going withplenty _Schatchens_ to see young ladies already, Mr. Perlmutter, Iassure you my heart ain't in it. People gets the impression because I ama swell dresser, Mr. Perlmutter, that I am looking to get married; butbelieve me, Mr. Perlmutter, it ain't so. "

"Then what do you go for, Gurin?" Morris asked. "_Schatchens_ don't liketo fool away their time no more as I do, Gurin; and you could take itfrom me, no girl is going to the trouble to fix herself up and make anice supper for you and the _Schatchen_ simply for the pleasure ofseeing a swell dresser, Gurin. "

"That's just the point, Mr. Perlmutter, " Gurin said. "A feller whichruns a store like this one and eats his meals in restaurants, understandme, must got to get a little home cooking once in a while. Ain't it?"

"Why not get married and be done with it?" Morris retorted; "and thenyou could get home cooking all the time. "

Once more Gurin shook his head. 

"Without love, Mr. Perlmutter, marriage is nix, " he said. 

"_Schmooes!_" Morris exclaimed. "Do you think when I got married I lovedmy wife, Gurin? _Oser_ a _stück_. And to-day yet I am crazy about her. With a business man, Gurin, love comes after marriage. "

B. Gurin rose wearily to his feet and shot his cuffs by way of showingimpatience. 

"What is the use talking, Mr. Perlmutter?" he protested. "When I want toget married I would get married--otherwise not. "

He flecked away an imaginary grain of dust from the lapel of his coatand walked slowly toward the door. 

"Are you going home on the New Haven road _oder_ the Harlem road?" heasked. 

Morris scowled, and his indignation lent such force to the gesture withwhich he put on his hat that the impact sounded like a blow on atambourine. 

"_Schon gut_, Gurin, " he said. "I am through with you. "

He paused at the doorway and lit a cigar. 

"And one thing I could tell you, Gurin, " he concluded. "Either you wouldsend us a check the first thing to-morrow morning, _oder_ we would giveyour account to our lawyers, and that's all there is to it. "

He puffed away at his cigar as he trudged down the street, and he hadnearly reached the corner when he heard a familiar voice shouting: "Mr. Perlmutter!" He turned to view B. Gurin hastening after him. 

"Well, Gurin, " he grunted, "what you want now?"

Gurin stopped and gasped for breath, and Morris's heart gave atriumphant leap as he noted the anxiety displayed on B. Gurin'sclean-shaven features. 

"Speak up, Gurin, " he said; "I got to get my train. "

Gurin smiled in surrender. 

"All right, Mr. Perlmutter, " he murmured; "make for me a date and I willlook the lady over. "

 * * * * *

When Morris entered his place of business the next morning he found hispartner examining the advertising columns of a morning paper with anabsorption hardly justified by the tabulated list of births, marriagesand deaths at which he was gazing. 

"What's biting you now, Abe?" Morris demanded. 

"What d'ye mean, what's biting me?" Abe rejoined, and Morris blushed inthe consciousness of his oversleeping that morning by more than half anhour. 

"Say, lookyhere, Abe, " he cried. "I don't know what you are drivinginto, understand me, but if you think you could get _brogus_ at me justbecause I am ten minutes late once in a while, y'understand, let me tellyou I am catching a twelve o'clock train from Mount Vernon last night, and not alone I am talking myself blue in the face to that feller Gurin, y'understand, but when I got home already I couldn't get to sleep till Itold the whole thing to my Minnie yet. "

Abe nodded slowly. 

"Yes, Abe, " Morris continued, "I got to go over the story twice overalready, and even then, y'understand, my Minnie gets mad because Ididn't contradict myself. 

"Only one idee that woman got it in her head, Abe. If I am out of thehouse _schon_ ten minutes already you couldn't tell her otherwise but Iam playing auction pinocle. "

"Well, you might just as well of been playing auction pinocle last nightfor all the good it would do us. "

"What are you talking about--all the good it would do us?" Morris almostwhimpered. 

"I actually got the feller dead to rights, Abe, and all I must do now isto work from the other end. "

Abe burst into a mirthless laugh and handed Morris the paper. 

"You should of worked the other end first, Mawruss, " he declared, as heindicated an advertising item with his thumb. "That's what Leon Sammetdid, Mawruss. "

Morris seized the paper and his face grew purple as he read thefollowing notice:

 ENGAGED: Asimof--Gladstein. Mrs. Sonia Gladstein, of Bridgetown, Pa. , to Jacob Asimof, of Dotyville, Pa. At home, Sunday next 3 to 7 at the residence of Mrs. Leah Sammet, 86-3/4 West One Hundredth and Eighteenth Street. No cards. 

"Leon's mother makes the engagement party for 'em, Mawruss, " Abe saiddryly. "Costs a whole lot of money, too, and I bet yer Mrs. Gladsteinwouldn't notice it at all in the next six months' statements Leon sendsto her. "

Morris stifled a groan as he laid down the paper and forced himself tosmile confidently. 

"What difference does an engagement make, Abe?" he asked. "An engagementain't a wedding, Abe, and it ain't too late even now. "

Again Abe indulged in a bitter laugh. 

"You're a regular optician, Mawruss, " he said. "You never give up hope. "

"That's all right, Abe, " Morris retorted. "We could stand a coupleopticians in this concern. Always you are ready to lay down on aproposition just as soon as things goes a little wrong, understand me, but me I think differencely. "

Abe shrugged and rose to his feet. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said, "take off your hat and coat and stay a while. Maybe we could do a little business here this morning for a change. "

"Maybe we could and maybe we couldn't, Abe, " Morris rejoined, as hebuttoned up his coat; "but just the same I am going to do somethingwhich you will really be surprised. "

"Not at all, " Abe corrected; "we are partners together so long that I amonly surprised supposing you should act sensible. "

"Well, the way I look at it I am acting sensible, Abe, " Morrisannounced. "I am acting sensible, because I am going right down to seeMarcus Flachs and I would buy from him for ten dollars cut glass, and Iwould show that sucker Sammet he couldn't faze me none. "

"What d'ye mean, couldn't faze you none?" Abe asked. 

"I mean if Sammet is such a faker he goes to work and makes engagementparties for his customers and puts 'em on the paper yet, Abe, " Morrisdeclared, as he jammed his hat down more firmly on his head, "he mustgot to expect his competitors would take advantage of it, understand me. And you could bet your sweet life, Abe, Sunday afternoon, comes threeo'clock, I am right there at his mother's house with the cut glass, anddon't you forget it. "

Abe nodded grimly. 

"It's a free country, Mawruss, " he said, "and nobody could stop yougoing to an engagement party which is in the paper, y'understand; butyou shouldn't forget one thing, Mawruss. You got on our ledger a drawingaccount, _verstehst du_, and on your way out you should please tell MissCohen to enter the ten dollars cut glass in the right place. "

"Don't worry, Abe, " Morris cried, as he started for the elevator. "Whenthe time comes we should post it in the ledger, if we ain't opened a newaccount in Bridgetown, Pa. , I would pay for it myself. "

Ten minutes later he entered the Twenty-third Street subway station enroute to Canal Street, and no sooner had he bought his ticket than hisenthusiasm began to wane. After all, he reflected as he boarded thetrain, ten dollars' worth of cut glass seemed rather extravagant whenone considered the size of an order that in the most favourablecircumstances might emanate from a store in Bridgetown. Indeed, as thetrain pulled into the Eighteenth Street station he had come to believethat seven dollars and fifty cents would be a generous price, and eventhis figure commenced to look huge as Fourteenth Street drew near. AtAstor Place, Morris decided that five dollars' worth of cut glass wouldbe more appropriate for a widow. When the guard announced the next stopas Bleecker Street, however, it occurred to Morris that themanufacturers of quadruple plate were producing some very artisticeffects in knives, forks and spoons, which in appearance wereundistinguishable from sterling silver; and the train was leaving SpringStreet when Morris bethought himself of a certain _bonbonnière_ that hadcost Mrs. Perlmutter precisely four dollars at a dry-goods store. Hedistinctly recalled examining the trade-mark, to which were affixed thewords "triple plate. "

During the short walk from the Canal Street station to Marcus Flachs'splace of business, he wondered vaguely if there were such a thing asdouble plate, and when at last he opened the door of the pawnbroker'ssales store in question he approached the counter with his mind fullymade up. 

"Do you got maybe some sets from nutpicks?" he inquired of theproprietor. 

Marcus Flachs took the question in ill part. 

"What the devil do you think I am running here, " he demanded by way ofanswer--"a five-and-ten-cent store?"

"Since when do they sell it nutpicks in a five-and-ten-cent-store?"Morris retorted. 

Flachs snorted angrily. 

"I don't think they sell 'em even in five-and-ten-cent stores, " he said;"and anyhow, Mr. Perlmutter, what for a present is nutpicks? If a fellereats nuts twice a year, that's a big average. For my part it would_oser_ break my heart if I would never eat another nut so long as Ilive. Now what you want to get is something cheap, ain't it?"

Morris nodded. 

"Something about two dollars and fifty cents, " he said. 

"That's what I thought, " Flachs replied, "and for two dollars and fiftycents there ain't much choice. Olive dishes is all I could show you. "

"Let me give a look at 'em, " Morris said, and as Flachs led the way tothe well-stocked shelves in the rear of the store Morris discerned forthe first time the presence of another customer. 

"How much did you say that there coffee samovar was?" cried a familiarvoice. 

"I told you before, Mr. Klinger, " Flachs said, "that ain't no samovar. That's a perculater and it cost me, so sure as I am standing here, fifteen dollars, so I would let you have it for twelve-fifty on accountits being shopworn. "

"Take ten dollars and make an end, " rejoined Klinger, tendering a bill. 

"For ten dollars I could give you a fine piece cut glass, Mr. Klinger, "Flachs insisted. 

By way of answer Klinger tucked away the ten-dollar bill he had takenfrom his waistcoat pocket, and Flachs seized the coffee percolator withboth hands. 

"I'll wrap it up for you right away, " he said, and then it was thatKlinger recognized Morris, who had been standing unnoticed in thebackground. 

"Hello, Perlmutter!" he said; "what are you doing here?"

"I guess I am doing the same what you are doing, Klinger, " Morrisreplied stiffly. "I am buying for a customer a present. Ain't it?"

Klinger nodded. 

"Honestly, Perlmutter, " he said, "I never seen the like how thingshappen. No sooner you start to sell goods to a feller than somebody isengaged _oder_ married in his family. "

"He must be a pretty good customer the way you are blowing yourself, "Morris commented. 

"I bet yer!" Klinger said as he walked away; "and if you would be in ourplace you would do the same. "

For five minutes Morris examined the cut glass, and when Flachs returnedhe had decided upon an olive dish of most intricate design. "That's aclose buyer, that Mr. Klinger, " Flachs observed. 

"Not near so close as I am, " Morris declared. 

"Well, you wouldn't anyhow kick on paying twenty-five cents express, Mr. Perlmutter, " Flachs said, "but that feller actually wants me to deliverthe package for nothing. "

"Why not?" Morris asked. "Don't everybody deliver packages free?"

"Not a pawnbroker's-sales store, " Flachs replied; "and anyhow, Mr. Perlmutter, Leon Sammet this morning buys from me for thirty dollarssilver to be sent to the same place on One Hundred and Eighteenth Streetas that there perculater, and he didn't kick only a little that I amcharging him fifty cents express. "

"What!" Morris exclaimed. "Is Klinger sending that perculater up to OneHundred and Eighteenth Street too?"

"That's what I said, " Flachs answered, and Morris replaced the cut-glassdish on the shelf. 

"Was the name Gladstein?" he inquired, and Flachs nodded. 

"Then in that case, " Morris said savagely, "let me look at some sterlingsilver for about twenty-five dollars. If them suckers could stand it, socan I. "

 * * * * *

More than two days had elapsed before Abe had exhausted the topic ofMrs. Gladstein's ten-dollar engagement present. He discussed itsatirically, profanely and earnestly, from the standpoint of businessethics, in such maddening reiterations that Morris could not helpwondering how much longer Abe's criticism would have continued had heknown that the cold-meat tray really cost twenty-five dollars. 

"You are throwing away good money after bad, Mawruss, " Abe said, renewing the subject after an interval of comparative calm, "because, sosure as you are standing there, we would never get our two hundred andfifty out of that feller Gurin. "

"What has Mrs. Gladstein's present got to do with Gurin?" Morris asked. "If I told you once, Abe, in the last two days, I am telling you a dozentimes, understand me, I am giving that there cold-meat tray to Mrs. Gladstein as a speculation, Abe. What difference does it make who shemarries, Abe, Gurin _oder_ Asimof, so long as we could land from her anorder for five hundred dollars?"

"Yow! You would land from her an order for five hundred dollars!" Abeexclaimed. 

"Well, if Sol Klinger could do it, why couldn't we?" Morris asked. 

"What are you talking about Sol Klinger?" Abe demanded. 

Thereupon Morris related to Abe the circumstances surrounding SolKlinger's purchase of the coffee percolator, and when he concluded Abenodded slowly. 

"So that highwayman is butting in too, " he commented. "How much did yousay he is paying for that samovar, Mawruss?"

Morris closed his eyes as though he were making a conscientious effortto remember the exact amount. 

"Thirty dollars, " he announced at last. 

"What!" Abe cried. "You stood there and let Sol Klinger buy for thirtydollars a present and we ourselves only spend ten? What for a piker areyou anyway, Mawruss?"

"What do you mean, what for a piker am I?" Morris said indignantly. "Youare talking me black in the face on account I am spending ten dollarsand now you are kicking I didn't spend thirty. "

"Did you tell me before that Sol Klinger buys a present?" Abe asked. "And furthermore, Mawruss, this wouldn't be the first time we arespending money to get business. Couldn't we afford to lay out thirtydollars if we want to?"

"But, Abe----" Morris began. 

"But nothing!" Abe roared. "Why should you get all of a sudden so_sparsam mit_ our money, Mawruss? You talk like we would be newbeginners on East Broadway already. "

"But, Abe----" Morris protested again. 

"'S enough, Mawruss, " Abe interrupted. "I heard enough from you already. Only one thing I got to tell you: if we lose a chance of getting somebusiness from a lady which you could really say I know her well enoughthat it's a shame we ain't sold her nothing already even, don't blameme. That's all I got to say. "

He walked away to the cutting room, while Morris sat down in the nearestchair, dazed to the point of temporary aphasia. For five minutes he satstill, endeavouring to trace the intricacies of a discussion that hadput him so decisively in the wrong, and he was still pondering thematter when the elevator door opened and B. Gurin alighted. 

"How do you do, Mr. Perlmutter?" Gurin cried. 

Morris grunted inarticulately and made no attempt to take his visitor'sproffered hand. 

"Did you got any news for me?" Gurin asked. 

Morris rose to his feet. 

"Yes, I got some news for you, " he said. "I got news for you that Mrs. Gladstein is engaged to be married to a feller by the name Asimof. "

He looked absently at a sample rack upon which reposed the verynewspaper that contained the advertisement. 

"Here it is, " he continued, as he seized the paper. "You could see foryourself. "

He handed the advertisement to Gurin, who read it over unmoved. 

"Well, I must tell you the honest truth, Mr. Perlmutter, " he said. "Icouldn't say I am sorry. " And he smiled amiably. 

As Morris gazed at the fashion-plate features and the fashion-plateapparel of his visitor, he entirely forgot his optimistic scheme ofsupplanting Asimof with Gurin and he grew suddenly livid with a fiercerage. 

"You ain't, ain't you?" he bellowed. "Well, you ought to be, because sosure as you are standing there, comes Monday morning and we don't get acheck from you, we would close you up sure, y'understand. "

"Now, lookyhere, Mr. Perlmutter--" Gurin began, but the reaction set upby Morris's encounter with his partner had begun to have its effect andhe seized Gurin by one padded shoulder. 

"Out!" he roared. "Out of my place, you rotten, cheap dude, you!"

And two minutes later B. Gurin fled wildly down the stairs, thenewspaper still clutched in his hand. 

 * * * * *

Although Leon Sammet had at first been actuated by motives of a somewhatsordid nature in his negotiation of Mrs. Gladstein's betrothal, hissubsequent behaviour was tempered by the traditional hospitality of hisrace. As for his mother, Mrs. Leah Sammet, she entered upon thepreparations for the reception with an ardour that could not have beenexceeded had Mrs. Gladstein been her own daughter. Thus, when Sundayafternoon arrived, Mrs. Sammet's house on One Hundred and EighteenthStreet presented an appearance of unusual festivity. The long, narrowparlor had been liberally draped with smilax and sparingly decoratedwith ex-table-d'hôte roses, until it resembled the mortuary chapel of aMulberry Street undertaker; and this effect was, if anything, heightenedby four dozen camp-chairs that had been procured from the sexton of Mrs. Sammet's place of worship. 

A fine odour of cooking ascended from the basement kitchen, and whenJacob Asimof had entered the front door at the behest of a coloured manwith white gloves he sniffed the fragrant atmosphere of the lobby like acoon dog at the base of a hollow tree. 

"Am I the first here?" he asked Barney Sammet, the junior partner ofSammet Brothers, who had been detailed by his elder brother to receivethe arriving guests, with strict injunction to keep an eye on thecigars. 

Barney nodded gloomily. 

"And ain't Mrs. Gladstein--I mean Sonia--come yet?" Jacob inquired. 

"We just now got a telephone from her, the train from Bridgetown is lateand she would be here in half an hour, " Barney replied. 

"That's a fine lookout, " Asimof commented. "I bet yer by that time wewould got a big crowd here. "

The words were prophetic, for the shuffling of many feet on the frontstoop preluded the arrival of Sol Klinger, Mrs. Klinger, Moe Klein andMrs. Klein, who were immediately succeeded by the firm of Kleiman &Elenbogen, H. Rashkin, the coat-pad manufacturer, and Marks Pasinsky. 

It must be conceded that Leon Sammet comported himself in a highlycreditable manner, and he greeted his guests with a cordiality thatembraced competitor and customer in one impartial, comprehensive smile. 

"Why, how do you do, Mr. Klinger?" he exclaimed, and then he turned toMrs. Leah Sammet, who stood beside him. "Mommer, " he said, "I want youto know Mr. Klinger. Him and me has been competitors for twenty yearsalready. "

Mrs. Sammet nodded and smiled. 

"For my part twenty years longer, " she murmured, as she grasped Sol'shand. 

"At a time like this, Mrs. Sammet, " Sol rejoined, "it don't make nodifference to me if a man is ever so much a competitor; what I claim is, let a sleeping dawg alone. "

Mrs. Sammet indorsed the sentiment with another smile, and Sol with hisretinue passed on into the back parlour for the purpose of inspectingthe presents. In the meantime other guests had preceded them, and amongthem was a man whose bearing and raiment proclaimed the creature offashion. Not only were his trousers of the latest narrow design, butthey were of sufficient modish brevity half to conceal and half toreveal a pair of gossamer silk socks, which in their turn were incasedby patent-leather, low-cut shoes. The latter exhibited the squareknobbiness that only fashion artists can impart to the footgear of theirmodels, while the broad laces that held them by the insecure hold of twoeyelets were knotted in a bow that might have been appended to thecollar of Mr. Paderewski himself. 

"Ain't this Mr. Gurin?" Sol Klinger asked, and the creature of fashionnodded. 

"You're a friend of the _Kahlo_, ain't it?" Klinger commented, employingthe vernacular equivalent for the English word "bride. "

"In a way, " Gurin said evasively; "_aber_ the _Khosan_ I don't know atall. "

Thus did Gurin imply that he was not acquainted with the futurebridegroom, and Klinger volunteered the information that Asimof ran adry-goods store in Dotyville, Pennsylvania. 

"I sold him goods for years, " he added, "and I guess I would continue todo so, even if that Ganef Sammet would make twenty engagement partiesfor 'em. Did you see the samovar I gave 'em?"

He pointed proudly to a silver-plated object, and Gurin glanced at itscornfully. 

"Potash & Perlmutter gives 'em solid silver, " he commented--"a widedish. "

"Sure I know, " Klinger said, "thin like paper. "

"_Aber_ sterling, " Gurin insisted, and Klinger made a telling diversion. 

"I suppose you sent 'em something sterling also, " he said. 

"Me?" Gurin exclaimed. "Why should I buy presents? I am a retailermyself, Mr. Klinger, so I sent 'em some flowers. "

"I don't see 'em nowhere, " Sol retorted. 

"They're over there, " B. Gurin said, making a sweeping gesture in thegeneral direction of the mantelpiece, and as he did so a bass voicesounded at his elbow. 

"Put out my eye why don't you?" cried Abe Potash, and then he recognizedhis assailant. 

"Say, what are you doing here?" he demanded. 

B. Gurin looked coldly at his creditor and shrugged his shoulders. 

"I got just so much right to be here as you, " he said, "and that partnerof yours too. "

He hurled this defiance at Morris, who had entered the room on Abe'sheels; but the retort passed unnoticed so far as Morris was concerned, since he was absorbed in the contemplation of the presents. 

"Well, Klinger, " he said, "you are making Mrs. Gladstein a pretty finepresent, ain't it?"

Klinger scowled. 

"Mrs. Gladstein I ain't bothering my head about at all, " he replied. "But when a cut-throat like Sammet makes out a scheme to steal away fromme an old customer like Asimof I got to protect myself. "

Morris whistled expressively. 

"So you are making the present to Asimof?" he commented. 

"Sure, I am, " Sol answered. "As for Mrs. Gladstein, she got presentsenough from me. The first time she was married I am sending money to theold country to my father he should make her a present on account Mrs. Gladstein's father is my father's a third cousin, understand me. Andwhen she marries Gladstein, y'understand, I give her both an engagementand a wedding present both. And do you think that sucker, _olavhasholom_, ever buys from me a dollar's worth goods? _Oser_ a _Stück_. "

"And you say Mrs. Gladstein was twicet married?" Morris asked. 

"Ain't I just telling you so?" Sol replied. 

"What was her first husband's name?" Morris asked; but the questionremained unanswered, for at that very moment a confusion of noises inthe front parlour signalled the arrival of the bride. 

Morris and Sol followed the other guests from the rear parlour, and thenit was that Morris discerned his partner's appreciative description ofMrs. Gladstein's claim to be in no way exaggerated. She was arrayed in ablack silk dress of a design well calculated to display her gracefulfigure, while her oval face was shaded by a black picture hat, beneathwhich her large dark eyes glowed and flashed by turns. Moreover, hercomplexion was all cream and roses, and when she smiled two rows of evenwhite teeth were exposed between a pair of tantalizing red lips. 

Morris commenced to perspire with embarrassment as he remembered how hehad planned to negotiate a match for this glorious creature--a task thatonly a very prince of marriage brokers might have essayed. He turnedaway; but as his eye rested on B. Gurin, who still lingered over thepresents, he was obliged to admit that he had chosen a fittingcandidate, and he even felt mollified toward his delinquent customer ashe reflected on Gurin's lost opportunity. 

"Gurin, " he said, "ain't you going to congradulate the _Kahlo_?"

"I didn't know she was here at all, " Gurin said sadly. The truth wasthat Gurin's presence at the reception that afternoon was not inspiredby curiosity concerning either Mrs. Gladstein or Asimof. Business wasundeniably bad with him, and he was making an earnest effort to keep hisfinancial head above water. Thus he limited his personal expenses to thepreservation of his wardrobe, and he had cut down his cost of living toa degree that permitted only a very low, lunch-wagon diet. He saw inMrs. Sammet's hospitality the prospect of a meal, and although he was byno means courageous, his appetite spurred him on to brave his creditors'wrath. 

"I'll take a look at her, " he murmured apologetically, and he began toelbow his way through the group that surrounded the engaged couple. Morris patted him on the shoulder as he passed and was about to returnto the back parlour when a shriek came from the centre of thecongratulatory throng. 

"Boris!" cried a female voice with a note of hysteria in its shrilltones. 

"Sonia!" B. Gurin exclaimed, and the next moment he clasped Mrs. Gladstein in his arms. 

 * * * * *

"You was asking me the name of Mrs. Gladstein's first husband, " said SolKlinger to Morris Perlmutter, as they descended the stoop together halfan hour later. "It was Aaron Lutsky. He died two years after they wasmarried. I knew his family well in the old country--her's too, Perlmutter. Her father was a feller by the name Polanya, and to-day yethe runs a big flour mill in Koroleshtchevitzi. "

"So I understand, " Morris said; "but what's that you got there underyour coat?"

He referred to a huge bulge on the right side of Sol Klinger's PrinceAlbert coat, which Sol was supporting with both hands. 

"That's my present, " Sol said, as if surprised at the question, "and ifMarcus Flachs wouldn't give me my money back, understand me, I couldanyhow exchange it for something useful. "

"It don't make no difference, Mawruss, " Abe said, as they sat in theirshowroom two months later. "The feller should got to pay us that twohundred and fifty dollars. "

"But we would get lots of business out of them now that they aremarried, Abe, " Morris protested. 

"Sure, I know, Mawruss, and they got lots of presents out of us too, Mawruss, " Abe said. "Counting the engagement and the wedding present, Mawruss, and my Rosie's new dress, and the pants which you bought it togo with your tuxedo, understand me--first and last we must be out ahundred and fifty dollars. "

Morris nodded. He recognized that an opportunity was here presented tocorrect Abe's figures by the addition of fifteen dollars to the price ofthe engagement present, but he deemed it more prudent to await thearrival of Gurin's first order. In point of fact, Morris had begun toexamine the mails with some anxiety for a letter postmarked Bridgetown. More than two weeks had elapsed since Gurin's wedding, and, making dueallowances for honeymooning, it seemed to Morris that from an inspectionof Mrs. Gladstein's stock, made by him on a congratulatory visit toBridgetown, there was immediate need for replenishment. 

"I don't understand why we don't hear from them people at all, " he said. 

"Give 'em a show, Mawruss. Give 'em a show, " Abe replied. "A man onlygets married, for the first time, once. "

Morris shrugged. 

"For my part, Abe, I ain't in no hurry, " he said. "If you could see theway Leon Sammet gives me a look this morning when I seen him on thesubway y'understand, it would be worth to you a hundred and fiftydollars. Sol Klinger is feeling sore too, Abe. I seen him inHammersmith's yesterday, and he says to me Flachs wouldn't exchange thatsamovar arrangement which he bought it, so he took it home with him, andhe ain't drunk nothing but coffee in two months. "

"I bet yer, " Abe commented; "and he also ain't got an order from Asimofin two months. The feller is heartbroken, Mawruss. He even had madearrangements to sell his store in Dotyville and move over to Bridgetown, y'understand, and when he called the deal off the purchaser sues him forbreach of contract yet. "

"But why should he get mad at Klinger?" Morris asked. "Klinger didn't dohim nothing. "

"Maybe you don't think so, Mawruss, but Asimof figures differencely;because he told me this morning, that after the engagement is off, understand me, Mrs. Gladstein and him makes a division of the presents. Asimof takes what was sent by the concerns which is selling _him_ goods, and Mrs. Gladstein takes the rest, all excepting a present they got fromMarks Pasinsky. 

"Pasinsky used to sell 'em both goods, y'understand; but fortunately, Mawruss, he sends 'em a dozen coffee spoons, so Asimof takes six andMrs. Gladstein takes six. "

"It's a good thing Pasinsky didn't send 'em a single piece of cutglass, " Morris said thoughtfully. 

"It wouldn't make no difference to Asimof, " Abe said. "He would ofallowed Mrs. Gladstein half cost price, give or take. He's a prettysquare feller, Asimof is, Mawruss, and he said he would give a look inhere this afternoon. We needn't be afraid from him, Mawruss. He's Anumber one up to two hundred and fifty dollars, thirty days net. "

Morris nodded again and walked slowly toward the cutting room, while hispartner sat down to read the trade news in the _Daily Cloak and SuitRecord_. Morris had hardly reached the doorway, however, when a stridentshout caused him to retrace his steps in a hurry. 

"What's the matter now?" he exclaimed; but Abe was incapable ofarticulate speech. Instead he held out the paper and made noisesappropriate to an apopletic seizure, which Morris construed as a requestto look at something of more than ordinary interest. 

"Where, where?" he demanded, and Abe stuck a trembling forefingerthrough the printed page. As nearly as the torn edges of the paper wouldpermit, Morris read the following paragraph:

 BRIDGETOWN, PA. --D. GLADSTEIN'S STORE CLOSED. The stock and fixtures of the general store conducted here by D. Gladstein, deceased, were closed out last week, and his widow, who recently married B. Gurin, sailed from New York with her husband yesterday for Hamburg. It is understood that they intend to reside permanently in Europe. 

While Morris perused the item Abe gradually recovered his composure, andwhen his partner at last put down the paper Abe was able to smile theslow, ghostly smile of a man who has called four deuces with an acefull. 

"Well, Mawruss, " he said resignedly, "a feller must expect the worstwhen he's got an optician for a partner. "

[Transcriber's Note:

Punctuation has been regularized, except for inconsistent hyphenation, which has been retained as in the original. 

The following typographic errors have been corrected:

Page 109 "woud" changed to "would"Page 223 "cired" changed to "cried"Page 234 "it it" changed to "it is"Page 352 "successs" changed to "success"

The following were each used once and were not changed:

jimminy/jiminydefence/defense]