THE LADY OF THE BARGE AND OTHER STORIES By W. W. Jacobs A TIGER'S SKIN The travelling sign-painter who was repainting the sign of the"Cauliflower" was enjoying a well-earned respite from his labours. Onthe old table under the shade of the elms mammoth sandwiches and a largeslice of cheese waited in an untied handkerchief until such time as histhirst should be satisfied. At the other side of the table the oldestman in Claybury, drawing gently at a long clay pipe, turned a dim andregretful eye up at the old signboard. "I've drunk my beer under it for pretty near seventy years, " he said, with a sigh. "It's a pity it couldn't ha' lasted my time. " The painter, slowly pushing a wedge of sandwich into his mouth, regardedhim indulgently. "It's all through two young gentlemen as was passing through 'ere a monthor two ago, " continued the old man; "they told Smith, the landlord, they'd been looking all over the place for the 'Cauliflower, ' and whenSmith showed 'em the sign they said they thought it was the 'George theFourth, ' and a very good likeness, too. " The painter laughed and took another look at the old sign; then, with thenervousness of the true artist, he took a look at his own. One or twoshadows-- He flung his legs over the bench and took up his brushes. In ten minutesthe most fervent loyalist would have looked in vain for any resemblance, and with a sigh at the pitfalls which beset the artist he returned to hisinterrupted meal and hailed the house for more beer. "There's nobody could mistake your sign for anything but a cauliflower, "said the old man; "it looks good enough to eat. " The painter smiled and pushed his mug across the table. He was a tender-hearted man, and once--when painting the sign of the "Sir WilfridLawson"--knew himself what it was to lack beer. He began to discourse onart, and spoke somewhat disparagingly of the cauliflower as a subject. With a shake of his head he spoke of the possibilities of a spotted cowor a blue lion. "Talking of lions, " said the ancient, musingly, "I s'pose as you never'eard tell of the Claybury tiger? It was afore your time in these parts, I expect. " The painter admitted his ignorance, and, finding that the allusion had noreference to an inn, pulled out his pipe and prepared to listen. "It's a while ago now, " said the old man, slowly, "and the circus thetiger belonged to was going through Claybury to get to Wickham, when, just as they was passing Gill's farm, a steam-ingine they 'ad to drawsome o' the vans broke down, and they 'ad to stop while the blacksmithmended it. That being so, they put up a big tent and 'ad the circus'ere. "I was one o' them as went, and I must say it was worth the money, thoughHenry Walker was disappointed at the man who put 'is 'ead in the lion'smouth. He said that the man frightened the lion first, before 'e did it. "It was a great night for Claybury, and for about a week nothing else wastalked of. All the children was playing at being lions and tigers andsuch-like, and young Roberts pretty near broke 'is back trying to see ifhe could ride horseback standing up. "It was about two weeks after the circus 'ad gone when a strange thing'appened: the big tiger broke loose. Bill Chambers brought the newsfirst, 'aving read it in the newspaper while 'e was 'aving his tea. Hebrought out the paper and showed us, and soon after we 'eard all sorts o'tales of its doings. "At first we thought the tiger was a long way off, and we was ratheramused at it. Frederick Scott laughed 'imself silly a'most up 'ere onenight thinking 'ow surprised a man would be if 'e come 'ome one night andfound the tiger sitting in his armchair eating the baby. It didn't seemmuch of a laughing matter to me, and I said so; none of us liked it, andeven Sam Jones, as 'ad got twins for the second time, said 'Shame!'But Frederick Scott was a man as would laugh at anything. "When we 'eard that the tiger 'ad been seen within three miles ofClaybury things began to look serious, and Peter Gubbins said thatsomething ought to be done, but before we could think of anything to dosomething 'appened. "We was sitting up 'ere one evening 'aving a mug o' beer and a pipe--sameas I might be now if I'd got any baccy left--and talking about it, whenwe 'eard a shout and saw a ragged-looking tramp running toward us as 'ardas he could run. Every now and then he'd look over 'is shoulder and givea shout, and then run 'arder than afore. "'It's the tiger!' ses Bill Chambers, and afore you could wink a'most hewas inside the house, 'aving first upset Smith and a pot o' beer in thedoorway. "Before he could get up, Smith 'ad to wait till we was all in. Hislangwidge was awful for a man as 'ad a license to lose, and everybodyshouting 'Tiger!' as they trod on 'im didn't ease 'is mind. He wasinside a'most as soon as the last man, though, and in a flash he 'ad thedoor bolted just as the tramp flung 'imself agin it, all out of breathand sobbing 'is hardest to be let in. "'Open the door, ' he ses, banging on it. "'Go away, ' ses Smith. "'It's the tiger, ' screams the tramp; 'open the door. ' "'You go away, ' ses Smith, 'you're attracting it to my place; run up theroad and draw it off. '" "Just at that moment John Biggs, the blacksmith, come in from thetaproom, and as soon as he 'eard wot was the matter 'e took down Smith'sgun from behind the bar and said he was going out to look after thewimmen and children. "'Open the door, ' he ses. "He was trying to get out and the tramp outside was trying to get in, but Smith held on to that door like a Briton. Then John Biggs lost 'istemper, and he ups with the gun--Smith's own gun, mind you--and fetches'im a bang over the 'ead with it. Smith fell down at once, and afore wecould 'elp ourselves the door was open, the tramp was inside, and JohnBiggs was running up the road, shouting 'is hardest. "We 'ad the door closed afore you could wink a'most, and then, while thetramp lay in a corner 'aving brandy, Mrs. Smith got a bowl of water and asponge and knelt down bathing 'er husband's 'ead with it. "'Did you see the tiger?' ses Bill Chambers. "'See it?' ses the tramp, with a shiver. 'Oh, Lord!' "He made signs for more brandy, and Henery Walker, wot was acting aslandlord, without being asked, gave it to 'im. "'It chased me for over a mile, ' ses the tramp; 'my 'eart's breaking. ' "He gave a groan and fainted right off. A terrible faint it was, too, and for some time we thought 'ed never come round agin. First theypoured brandy down 'is throat, then gin, and then beer, and still 'edidn't come round, but lay quiet with 'is eyes closed and a horriblesmile on 'is face. "He come round at last, and with nothing stronger than water, which Mrs. Smith kept pouring into 'is mouth. First thing we noticed was that thesmile went, then 'is eyes opened, and suddenly 'e sat up with a shiverand gave such a dreadful scream that we thought at first the tiger was ontop of us. "Then 'e told us 'ow he was sitting washing 'is shirt in a ditch, when he'eard a snuffling noise and saw the 'ead of a big tiger sticking throughthe hedge the other side. He left 'is shirt and ran, and 'e said that, fortunately, the tiger stopped to tear the shirt to pieces, else 'is lasthour would 'ave arrived. "When 'e 'ad finished Smith went upstairs and looked out of the bedroomwinders, but 'e couldn't see any signs of the tiger, and 'e said no doubtit 'ad gone down to the village to see wot it could pick up, or p'raps it'ad eaten John Biggs. "However that might be, nobody cared to go outside to see, and after itgot dark we liked going 'ome less than ever. "Up to ten o'clock we did very well, and then Smith began to talk about'is license. He said it was all rubbish being afraid to go 'ome, andthat, at any rate, the tiger couldn't eat more than one of us, and while'e was doing that there was the chance for the others to get 'ome safe. Two or three of 'em took a dislike to Smith that night and told 'im so. "The end of it was we all slept in the tap-room that night. It seemedstrange at first, but anything was better than going 'ome in the dark, and we all slept till about four next morning, when we woke up and foundthe tramp 'ad gone and left the front door standing wide open. "We took a careful look-out, and by-and-by first one started off and thenanother to see whether their wives and children 'ad been eaten or not. Not a soul 'ad been touched, but the wimmen and children was that scaredthere was no doing anything with 'em. None o' the children would go toschool, and they sat at 'ome all day with the front winder blocked upwith a mattress to keep the tiger out. "Nobody liked going to work, but it 'ad to be done and as Farmer Gillsaid that tigers went to sleep all day and only came out toward eveningwe was a bit comforted. Not a soul went up to the 'Cauliflower' thatevening for fear of coming 'ome in the dark, but as nothing 'appened thatnight we began to 'ope as the tiger 'ad travelled further on. "Bob Pretty laughed at the whole thing and said 'e didn't believe therewas a tiger; but nobody minded wot 'e said, Bob Pretty being, as I'veoften told people, the black sheep o' Claybury, wot with poaching and, wot was worse, 'is artfulness. "But the very next morning something 'appened that made Bob Pretty looksilly and wish 'e 'adn't talked quite so fast; for at five o'clockFrederick Scott, going down to feed 'is hins, found as the tiger 'ad beenthere afore 'im and 'ad eaten no less than seven of 'em. The side of thehin-'ouse was all broke in, there was a few feathers lying on the ground, and two little chicks smashed and dead beside 'em. "The way Frederick Scott went on about it you'd 'ardly believe. He saidthat Govinment 'ud 'ave to make it up to 'im, and instead o' going towork 'e put the two little chicks and the feathers into a pudding basinand walked to Cudford, four miles off, where they 'ad a policeman. "He saw the policeman, William White by name, standing at the back doorof the 'Fox and Hounds' public house, throwing a 'andful o' corn to thelandlord's fowls, and the first thing Mr. White ses was, 'it's off mybeat, ' he ses. "'But you might do it in your spare time, Mr. White, ' ses FrederickScott. It's very likely that the tiger'll come back to my hin 'ouse forthe rest of 'em, and he'd be very surprised if 'e popped 'is 'ead in andsee you there waiting for 'im. ' "He'd 'ave reason to be, ' ses Policeman White, staring at 'im. "'Think of the praise you'd get, ' said Frederick Scott, coaxing like. "'Look 'ere, ' ses Policeman White, 'if you don't take yourself and thatpudding basin off pretty quick, you'll come along o' me, d'ye see?You've been drinking and you're in a excited state. ' "He gave Frederick Scott a push and follered 'im along the road, andevery time Frederick stopped to ask 'im wot 'e was doing of 'e gave 'imanother push to show 'im. "Frederick Scott told us all about it that evening, and some of thebravest of us went up to the 'Cauliflower' to talk over wot was to bedone, though we took care to get 'ome while it was quite light. Thatnight Peter Gubbins's two pigs went. They were two o' the likeliest pigsI ever seed, and all Peter Gubbins could do was to sit up in bedshivering and listening to their squeals as the tiger dragged 'em off. Pretty near all Claybury was round that sty next morning looking at thebroken fence. Some of them looked for the tiger's footmarks, but it wasdry weather and they couldn't see any. Nobody knew whose turn it wouldbe next, and the most sensible man there, Sam Jones, went straight off'ome and killed his pig afore 'e went to work. "Nobody knew what to do; Farmer Hall said as it was a soldier's job, and'e drove over to Wickham to tell the police so, but nothing came of it, and that night at ten minutes to twelve Bill Chambers's pig went. It wasone o' the biggest pigs ever raised in Claybury, but the tiger got it offas easy as possible. Bill 'ad the bravery to look out of the winder when'e 'eard the pig squeal, but there was such a awful snarling noise that'e daresn't move 'and or foot. "Dicky Weed's idea was for people with pigs and such-like to keep 'em inthe house of a night, but Peter Gubbins and Bill Chambers both pointedout that the tiger could break a back door with one blow of 'is paw, andthat if 'e got inside he might take something else instead o' pig. Andthey said that it was no worse for other people to lose pigs than wot itwas for them. "The odd thing about it was that all this time nobody 'ad ever seen thetiger except the tramp and people sent their children back to school aginand felt safe going about in the daytime till little Charlie Gubbins camerunning 'ome crying and saying that 'e'd seen it. Next morning a lotmore children see it and was afraid to go to school, and people began towonder wot 'ud happen when all the pigs and poultry was eaten. "Then Henery Walker see it. We was sitting inside 'ere with scythes, andpitchforks, and such-like things handy, when we see 'im come in without'is hat. His eyes were staring and 'is hair was all rumpled. He calledfor a pot o' ale and drank it nearly off, and then 'e sat gasping and'olding the mug between 'is legs and shaking 'is 'ead at the floor tilleverybody 'ad left off talking to look at 'im. "'Wot's the matter, Henery?' ses one of 'em. "'Don't ask me, ' ses Henery Walker, with a shiver. "'You don't mean to say as 'ow you've seen the tiger?" ses BillChambers. "Henery Walker didn't answer 'im. He got up and walked back'ards andfor'ards, still with that frightened look in 'is eyes, and once or twice'e give such a terrible start that 'e frightened us 'arf out of our wits. Then Bill Chambers took and forced 'im into a chair and give 'im two o'gin and patted 'im on the back, and at last Henery Walker got 'is sensesback agin and told us 'ow the tiger 'ad chased 'im all round and roundthe trees in Plashett's Wood until 'e managed to climb up a tree andescape it. He said the tiger 'ad kept 'im there for over an hour, andthen suddenly turned round and bolted off up the road to Wickham. "It was a merciful escape, and everybody said so except Sam Jones, and 'easked so many questions that at last Henery Walker asked 'im outright if'e disbelieved 'is word. "'It's all right, Sam, ' ses Bob Pretty, as 'ad come in just after HeneryWalker. 'I see 'im with the tiger after 'im. ' "'Wot?' ses Henery, staring at him. "'I see it all, Henery, ' ses Bob Pretty, 'and I see your pluck. It wasall you could do to make up your mind to run from it. I believe if you'd'ad a fork in your 'and you'd 'ave made a fight for it. " "Everybody said 'Bravo!'; but Henery Walker didn't seem to like it atall. He sat still, looking at Bob Pretty, and at last 'e ses, 'Where wasyou?' 'e s, es. "'Up another tree, Henery, where you couldn't see me, ' ses Bob Pretty, smiling at 'im. "Henery Walker, wot was drinking some beer, choked a bit, and then 'e putthe mug down and went straight off 'ome without saying a word to anybody. I knew 'e didn't like Bob Pretty, but I couldn't see why 'e should becross about 'is speaking up for 'im as 'e had done, but Bob said as itwas 'is modesty, and 'e thought more of 'im for it. "After that things got worse than ever; the wimmen and children stayedindoors and kept the doors shut, and the men never knew when they wentout to work whether they'd come 'ome agin. They used to kiss theirchildren afore they went out of a morning, and their wives too, some of'em; even men who'd been married for years did. And several more of 'emsee the tiger while they was at work, and came running 'ome to tell aboutit. "The tiger 'ad been making free with Claybury pigs and such-like forpretty near a week, and nothing 'ad been done to try and catch it, andwot made Claybury men madder than anything else was folks at Wickhamsaying it was all a mistake, and the tiger 'adn't escaped at all. Evenparson, who'd been away for a holiday, said so, and Henery Walker told'is wife that if she ever set foot inside the church agin 'ed ask 'is oldmother to come and live with 'em. "It was all very well for parson to talk, but the very night he come backHenery Walker's pig went, and at the same time George Kettle lost five orsix ducks. "He was a quiet man, was George, but when 'is temper was up 'e didn'tcare for anything. Afore he came to Claybury 'e 'ad been in the Militia, and that evening at the 'Cauliflower' 'e turned up with a gun over 'isshoulder and made a speech, and asked who was game to go with 'im andhunt the tiger. Bill Chambers, who was still grieving after 'is pig, said 'e would, then another man offered, until at last there wasseventeen of 'em. Some of 'em 'ad scythes and some pitchforks, and oneor two of 'em guns, and it was one o' the finest sights I ever seed whenGeorge Kettle stood 'em in rows of four and marched 'em off. "They went straight up the road, then across Farmer Gill's fields to getto Plashett's wood, where they thought the tiger 'ud most likely be, andthe nearer they got to the wood the slower they walked. The sun 'ad justgone down and the wood looked very quiet and dark, but John Biggs, theblacksmith, and George Kettle walked in first and the others follered, keeping so close together that Sam Jones 'ad a few words over hisshoulder with Bill Chambers about the way 'e was carrying 'is pitchfork. "Every now and then somebody 'ud say, _'Wot's that!'_ and they'd all stopand crowd together and think the time 'ad come, but it 'adn't, and thenthey'd go on agin, trembling, until they'd walked all round the woodwithout seeing anything but one or two rabbits. John Biggs and GeorgeKettle wanted for to stay there till it was dark, but the others wouldn't'ear of it for fear of frightening their wives, and just as it wasgetting dark they all come tramp, tramp, back to the 'Cauliflower' agin. "Smith stood 'em 'arf a pint apiece, and they was all outside 'erefancying theirselves a bit for wot they'd done when we see old manParsley coming along on two sticks as fast as 'e could come. "'Are you brave lads a-looking for the tiger?' he asks. "'Yes, ' ses John Biggs. "'Then 'urry up, for the sake of mercy, ' ses old Mr. Parsley, putting 'is'and on the table and going off into a fit of coughing; 'it's just goneinto Bob Pretty's cottage. I was passing and saw it. ' "George Kettle snatches up 'is gun and shouts out to 'is men to comealong. Some of 'em was for 'anging back at first, some because theydidn't like the tiger and some because they didn't like Bob Pretty, butJohn Biggs drove 'em in front of 'im like a flock o' sheep and then theygave a cheer and ran after George Kettle, full pelt up the road. "A few wimmen and children was at their doors as they passed, but theytook fright and went indoors screaming. There was a lamp in Bob Pretty'sfront room, but the door was closed and the 'ouse was silent as thegrave. "George Kettle and the men with the guns went first, then came thepitchforks, and last of all the scythes. Just as George Kettle put 'is'and on the door he 'eard something moving inside, and the next momentthe door opened and there stood Bob Pretty. "'What the dickens!' 'e ses, starting back as 'e see the guns andpitchforks pointing at 'im. "''Ave you killed it, Bob?' ses George Kettle. "'Killed _wot?'_ ses Bob Pretty. 'Be careful o' them guns. Take yourfingers off the triggers. ' "'The tiger's in your 'ouse, Bob, ' ses George Kettle, in a whisper. ''Ave you on'y just come in?' "'Look 'ere, ' ses Bob Pretty. 'I don't want any o' your games. You goand play 'em somewhere else. ' "'It ain't a game, ' ses John Biggs; 'the tiger's in your 'ouse and we'regoing to kill it. Now, then, lads. ' "They all went in in a 'eap, pushing Bob Pretty in front of 'em, till theroom was full. Only one man with a scythe got in, and they wouldn't 'avelet 'im in if they'd known. It a'most made 'em forget the tiger for thetime. "George Kettle opened the door wot led into the kitchen, and then 'esprang back with such a shout that the man with the scythe tried toescape, taking Henery Walker along with 'im. George Kettle tried tospeak, but couldn't. All 'e could do was to point with 'is finger at BobPretty's kitchen--_and Bob Pretty's kitchen was for all the world like apork-butcher's shop_. There was joints o' pork 'anging from the ceiling, two brine tubs as full as they could be, and quite a string of fowls andducks all ready for market. "'Wot d'ye mean by coming into my 'ouse?' ses Bob Pretty, blustering. 'If you don't clear out pretty quick, I'll make you. ' "Nobody answered 'im; they was all examining 'ands o' pork and fowls andsuch-like. "'There's the tiger, ' ses Henery Walker, pointing at Bob Pretty; 'that'swot old man Parsley meant. ' "'Somebody go and fetch Policeman White, ' ses a voice. "'I wish they would, ' ses Bob Pretty. "I'll 'ave the law on you all forbreaking into my 'ouse like this, see if I don't. ' "'Where'd you get all this pork from?' ses the blacksmith. "'And them ducks and hins?' ses George Kettle. "'That's my bisness, ' ses Bob Pretty, staring 'em full in the face. 'Ijust 'ad a excellent oppertunity offered me of going into the pork andpoultry line and I took it. Now, all them as doesn't want to buy anypork or fowls go out o' my house. ' "'You're a thief, Bob Pretty!' says Henery Walker. 'You stole it all. ' "'Take care wot you're saying, Henery, ' ses Bob Pretty, 'else I'll makeyou prove your words. ' "'You stole my pig, ' ses Herbert Smith. "'Oh, 'ave I?' ses Bob, reaching down a 'and o' pork. 'Is that yourpig?' he ses. "'It's just about the size o' my pore pig, ' ses Herbert Smith. "'Very usual size, I call it, ' ses Bob Pretty; 'and them ducks and hinsvery usual-looking hins and ducks, I call 'em, except that they don'tgrow 'em so fat in these parts. It's a fine thing when a man's doing ahonest bisness to 'ave these charges brought agin 'im. Dis'eartening, Icall it. I don't mind telling you that the tiger got in at my backwinder the other night and took arf a pound o' sausage, but you don't'ear me complaining and going about calling other people thieves. ' "'Tiger be hanged, ' ses Henery Walker, who was almost certain that a loino' pork on the table was off 'is pig; 'you're the only tiger in theseparts. ' "Why, Henery, ' ses Bob Pretty, 'wot are you a-thinkin' of? Where's yourmemory? Why, it's on'y two or three days ago you see it and 'ad to getup a tree out of its way. ' "He smiled and shook 'is 'ead at 'im, but Henery Walker on'y kept openingand shutting 'is mouth, and at last 'e went outside without saying aword. "'And Sam Jones see it, too, ' ses Bob Pretty; 'didn't you, Sam?' "Sam didn't answer 'im. "'And Charlie Hall and Jack Minns and a lot more, ' ses Bob; 'besides, Isee it myself. I can believe my own eyes, I s'pose?' "'We'll have the law on you, ' ses Sam Jones. "'As you like, ' ses Bob Pretty; 'but I tell you plain, I've got all thebills for this properly made out, upstairs. And there's pretty near adozen of you as'll 'ave to go in the box and swear as you saw the tiger. Now, can I sell any of you a bit o' pork afore you go? It's deliciouseating, and as soon as you taste it you'll know it wasn't grown inClaybury. Or a pair o' ducks wot 'ave come from two 'undered miles off, and yet look as fresh as if they was on'y killed last night. ' "George Kettle, whose ducks 'ad gone the night afore, went into the frontroom and walked up and down fighting for 'is breath, but it was all nogood; nobody ever got the better o' Bob Pretty. None of 'em could swearto their property, and even when it became known a month later that BobPretty and the tramp knew each other, nothing was done. But nobody ever'eard any more of the tiger from that day to this. "