A PESSIMIST;

IN

THEORY AND PRACTICE. 

BY

ROBERT TIMSOL. 

NEW YORK:

JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER. 

1888. 

Copyright, 1888, BY

THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY. 

CONTENTS. 

I. Wisdom in the Woods. 7

II. Worse Yet. 17

III. Complications. 24

IV. A Wilful Princess. 28

V. Consultation. 37

VI. Preparation. 44

VII. Initiation. 47

VIII. Introduction. 52

IX. At Newport. 55

X. On the Cliffs. 58

XI. Explanations. 63

XII. Awakening. 71

XIII. Domestic Criticisms. 75

XIV. Over two Cigars. 79

XV. The Catastrophe. 83

XVI. Feminine Councils. 87

XVII. Consolation. 91

XVIII. Against Earnestness. 99

XIX. Conspiracy. 102

XX. Apology for Lying. 108

XXI. Jane to the Rescue. 118

XXII. An Ordeal. 125

XXIII. Plan of Campaign. 132

XXIV. To Wayback again. 139

XXV. A Wild Brook. 145

XXVI. An Intractable Patient. 149

XXVII. Scenery Improved. 156

XXVIII. Diplomacy. 159

XXIX. Submission. 168

XXX. Wasted Advice. 175

XXXI. Results Reported. 178

XXXII. Confession. 185

XXXIII. A Family Conclave. 192

XXXIV. To Persons About to Marry. 197

A PESSIMIST. 

I. 

WISDOM IN THE WOODS. 

I had seen and heard little of Hartman since our college days. There hewas counted a youth of eminent promise: after that I knew that he hadtraveled, written something or other, and practised law--or professedit, and not too eagerly: then he had disappeared. Last May I stumbled onhim in a secluded region where I had gone to fish and rest, after a yearof too close attention to business. We came face to face in the woods, stared at each other, and then our hands met in the old grip. He took mehome with him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment, and wemade a night--or more than an evening--of it. He did not seem curious, but I was. 

"What have you been doing with yourself!" I began; "withdrawing from theworld?"

"To some extent, " he said. "You can't do that entirely, you know. Theworld is in you as well as around you, unluckily. It is too much withus, as the poet observed. Do you remember the time you had in class overthat sonnet?"

"Pass that, " I said. "I've given up poetry. " ("I should have thoughtthat impossible, " he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion; but I took nonotice. ) "Where have you been all the time?"

"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place, but that is its merit. "

He was getting too deep now, as he often did of old; so I said, "Butit's so far away. "

"That's its other merit. You always had a direct and ingenuous mind, Bob. Here you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots. "

"None of your chaff, " said I. "Who do you practice your wits on, uphere?"

"My dogs. And there are some hens in the neighborhood, and a few smallfarmers. Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of its perilousstuff, I can chaff myself, which is more profitable. "

"You were always too clever for me. What else do you do?"

"As the Baroness used to say in _The Danicheffs_, in our days of vanity, 'Do you think that is much of a compliment?' I read, and fish, andclimb, and ride several hobbies, and meditate on Man, on Nature, and onHuman Fate. "

"What's the good of that?" I was growing impatient of all this nonsense. 

"Well, not much, perhaps, " said he. "For you, very little indeed. Butintrinsically it is about as profitable as more popular avocations. "

"Now look here, Hartman, " I said. "You're a better man any day thanI--or you were. But here you are, hidden in the backwoods with owls (oneof them was making a horrid noise outside), and nothing to show. NowI've got a wife--"

"And seven children, " he interposed. 

"No, only three. But I have a good business, and a house on the avenue, and a decent social position, and I'm making money. And I don't like tosee you throw yourself away like this. "

"Old man, " said Hartman, "we are just of an age, and you would pass forfive years the elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on top. Youlook fagged. And you owned to me that you came here to pick up. "

He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been working hard. But I'm in theswim. I do as others do. I help to make the wheels go round. " I thoughtI had him there; but you never can count on Hartman, except for ananswer of some kind. 

"Wouldn't they go round without your help? And why should they goaround, anyway? It might be a variety to have them stop. What's the goodof it?"

I stared at him; but his eye looked more rational than his talk sounded. "The good of it is that I am in things generally, while you are out. "

"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in. As to things generally, Iprefer to be with the outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt. "

"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought myself in merely as anexample--not that I set up to be much of that--or an illustration, say. I want to know about you. " It may have been foolish, but somehow I feltthe old affection coming back as we talked. "What does it all mean, Harty?"

He looked at me. "Do you really want to know, Bob?"

"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten the larks we used tohave, and the scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached me throughthat exam, in Calculus? It's long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard, the way you dropped me. "

He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a selfish fellow in thosedays. "I never meant to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd take itso: and I doubt if you did, though you think so at this moment. It waspart of a system; and systems are poor things, though we can't dowithout them. I'll tell you how it was. "

"Wait till I fill up. --Now go ahead. "

"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob. Does the Madam object?"

"She doesn't like tobacco about the house, of course. And I'm not sureit's good for me. "

"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray. There is no one to interfere withmy little vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that that alone wouldmatter: one could stand being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't seethat it was a good cause. "

"Would you mind explaining?" said I. "What cause?"

"Helping to make the wheels go round. Being in the swim. Doing as othersdo. Trying to make a little money and a little name, and following thefashions of a carnal-minded generation. I could see no point to it, Bob;the game never seemed worth the candle. "

"And so you came out in the woods, like what's his name--that Concordfellow. Do you find this any better?"

"Negatively. I am not so much a part of the things I despise. The pompsand vanities are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It is a simplerlife, comparatively laudable for there being less of it. "

"And don't you get bored, out here? A week or so of it is well enough ina way; but take it the year round, I should think you'd find it worsethan civilization. "

"I get bored, of course: that is incidental to life, and chronic withone who has looked beneath the surface and sifted values. But it's notso oppressive as in town. There are no shams here, to speak of. Havingno business and no society, we don't pretend to be very different fromwhat we are. "

"O, if you come to that, the women still improve on nature, and thestreet has its little tricks and methods; but you could keep out ofthem. You were in the law. "

"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is worked much more as a businessthan as a science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and Jenkins: they aregetting on, I hear. I don't want to get on in that way. "

"But you might have taken the scientific side of it. With your headpiece, and your high and mighty notions, there was a field for you. "

"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek roots, or chiropody--forhim, who believes in them. I was not able to see that one line ofthought has a right to crowd out all the rest, or to sink my whole soulin a profession. That's what they want of you now--to make a littleclearing, and put up palings all round it, and see things outside onlythrough the chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow specialist: knowone thing, and care for nothing else. I suppose you can do that withoil. "

I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness in this; but the poorfellow can't be contented, with his lonesome and aimless life. "We'renot talking about me, Jim. You're the topic. Stick to your text, andpreach away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that I can't listen. ButI don't blame you for going back on the law; a beast of a business, Ialways thought it. Why didn't you go for a Professorship?"

"My poor friend, you were at college four years, and graduated--withouthonors, it is true. Don't you remember how little we cared for theProfs. And their eminent attainments? We took it for granted that it wasall right, and they understood what they were at; but it was a grind, tothem and to us. If a man was an enthusiast for his branch, we ratherlaughed at him; or if his name was well up, we were willing to be proudof him--at a distance--as an honor to Alma Mater; but we kicked all thesame, if he tried to put extra work on us. It was all fashion, routine, tradition. The student mind doesn't begin to look into things for itselftill about the senior year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, inthe great world outside--poor innocents! With those of us who hadanything in us, it took most of the time to knock the nonsenseout. --And then if a man wants a chair, he must take it in a westernconcern, where he'll be expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to haveno views of geology that conflict with the Catechism. "

"Well then, why not go on with literature? That was in your line: youmight have made a good thing of it. "

"Yes, by 'unremitting application, ' much the same as at law, and takingit seriously as a profession, I might in time possibly have made fivehundred a year off the magazines, and won an humble place among ourseven hundred rising authors. What's the good of that, when one is not atranscendent genius, destined for posterity? The crowd seems to bethickest just there: too many books, too many writers, and by far toomany anxious aspirants. Why should I swell the number? The community wasnot especially pining to hear what I might have to say; and I did notpine so much as some to be heard. "

"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You would have made a pretty goodpreacher; but I suppose you weren't sanctified enough. "

"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some vestiges of self-respect. That will do for the youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken inand done for from infancy, to whom it is an object to get a freeeducation and into a gentlemanly profession. That's the kind they mostlymake parsons of now, I hear. My boy, to do anything really in that line, a man ought to have notions different from mine--rather. Why don't youadvise me to set up a kindergarten? That would suit as well aschronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel your brains, and startsomething more plausible. "

This did not surprise me at all; but my suggestion-box was getting low. Then I made a rally. "How about the philanthropic dodge? Robinson is onthe Associated Charities in town. I saw in the paper that he made aspeech the other night. "

"If he does nothing better than speech-making, he might as well drop it. There might be something in benevolent efforts, if one had just thetemperament and talents for them. But as it is, I fear most of it ishumbug; mutual admiration, seeing your name in the paper, and all that. And how they get imposed on! How they pauperize and debauch those theytry to raise! It's a law of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand onits own bottom: you can't reform a man from without. Natural selectionwill have its way: the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall. Ifyou could kill them off, now, that might do some good. The class thatneeds help is not like us--not that we are anything to brag of: they'venot had our chance. It's very well to say, give 'em a chance; but that'sno use unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow. ' If they wouldn't, you are bound torespect their right of choice. Your drunken ruffian will keep onbreaking the furniture, till another like him breaks his skull. Hiswife, the washerwoman with six small children, will continue gettingmore and making things worse. This part of it at least ought to beregulated by law: but that would be a restriction of personal liberty, which is the idol of this age, and not without reason. We're between twomillstones, and I see no way out. "

"How would you like politics? The gentleman is supposed to have anopening there now. "

"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had come in my time I might havetried it. But it would be uphill work, a sort of Sisyphus affair: youmay get the stone to the top, but the chances are against it. And whichparty is one to join, when he sees nothing in either but selfish greedand stale traditions? Viewed as a missionary field, Bob, it's just likethe ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of dead conventions whichyou must pretend to believe have life and juice in them yet. Before youcan do anything you must be a partisan, and that requires a mediævalstate of mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern. It wouldn't go, Bob. Try again, if you have more on your list. "

"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't care for the applied, I know. But you used to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's sake is afine motto, now?"

"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus, old Chlorum's favoritestudent--in the laboratory, you remember. The old man died, and Bumpusstole all his discoveries, and published them as his own; made quite apretty reputation, and is one of our leading chemists. You know how thebooks on Astronomy are made? A man finds out a thing or two for himself, cribs the rest from other books, changes the wording, and brings it allout with a blare of trumpets as original research. Those methods areapproved, or at least tolerated, in the best scientific circles, andother folks don't know the difference. O, I belong to a few societiesyet, and once in an age go to their meetings, when I get tired up here. "

"So the outside world still has charms, eh? Have to go back to it nowand then, to keep alive, do you?"

"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude; much as you go to hearIngersoll when your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr. Deadcreed if yourliberalism is to be stirred up. Let us spice the insipid dish with somesmall variety. The lesser evil needs the greater for its foil. "

"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure perverseness; opposition forits own sake, you know. I believe your money has been the ruin of you. It's not an original remark, but if you'd had nothing you'd have donesomething; gone into business like the rest of us, and made your way. "

"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I should have loved it nonethe better. Poor Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God and mammonboth, but only by hating the mammon which he served from sheernecessity. Say I got my living by a certain craft, would that make thecraft noble? 'Great is Diana of the Ephesians, ' because we sell herimages! Why should I desire to supply the confiding public with shoes, or sugar, or sealing-wax? Plenty of others can do that better, and findit more amusing, than I should. "

"If it's amusement you're after, most men find it in Society. You're nottoo old for that yet. "

"Blind guide, I have been there. So long ago, you say, that I'veforgotten what it's like? Not quite. Last winter I had to attend anexecution: couldn't get out of it, you know. My cousin married aWashington belle, and I had to be there a week, and take it all in. Ahwell, this is a threadbare theme; but I could understand how men fifteenhundred years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to Nitrian deserts. The emptiness of it--the eternal simper, the godless and harrowingroutine! If a man has brains or a soul about him, what can he do withthem in such a crowd? Better leave them at home with his pocket-book, orhe might lose them--less suddenly, but more certainly, I fancy. No, theclubs are not much better; I don't care for horse-talk or the price ofshares. See human nature? not in its best clothes--and you may read thatremark either way you like. Why man, you can get all this in _Punch_ andthe novels, with far less fatigue, and lay them down when you have hadenough. An hour on Broadway sickens me for the wild-flowers, thebrooks, the free breeze or the mountain side. "

He was getting violent now, and I thought I had better calm him down. "Oho! the rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it? Soothing effect ofNature on a world-worn bosom, and all that? So you do believe insomething, after all?"

"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and this is the less. Naturehas neither heart nor conscience, and she sets us a bad example. She hasno continuity, no reliableness, no self-control. I can see none of thefabled sublimity in a storm; only the pettishness of a spoiled child, orof an angry man bent on breaking things. The sunset is better to lookat, but it has no more moral meaning than a peep-show. Yet this is areturn to primitive conditions, in a way. I can throw off here thepeddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair imposes, and carryonly the inevitable burden of manhood. The air is less poisonous to bodyand mind than in the cities. The groves were God's first temples, andmay be the last. "

"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in general were to take up with thesecheerful notions of yours, and go away from each other and out in thebackwoods--what then?"

"It might be the best thing they could do. But don't be alarmed, Bob: Iam not a Nihilist agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange and thegeneral order. I speak only for myself, and I'm not proselyting to anygreat extent. We'll have a week's fishing, and then I'll send you backto your wife in good shape. Or if you find yourself getting demoralized, you can skip earlier, either home or to a place further up that I'lltell you of, where the few inhabitants are as harmless as your youngestbaby. "

But I was not to be bluffed off in this way. "Jim, " I said, "there issomething behind all this. Was it that girl you met at Newport andafterwards in Naples? You told me once--"

"Never mind the girl, " he said. "You are a married man, and I an oldbachelor. Leave girls to those who have use for them. If we are to getany trout to-morrow, it's time we turned in. And if you won't stay, I'llgo with you to the tavern and knock up old Hodge: he's been asleep thesefour hours. " I thought he had talked enough for one night, so I said nomore, but got back to bed. 

II. 

WORSE YET. 

Hartman had asked me to stay with him, but there is no use ofoverloading friendship, and I like to be my own master as well as hedoes. I might get tired of him, or he of me; and it's not well to bechained to your best friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid ofHartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac; but I can cheer him upbetter when I have a good line of retreat open. He took me next morningto some superior pools, where the trout were fat and fierce; but I hadnot my usual skill. The truth is, Jim was on my mind; and after missingseveral big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff, I begged off--saidI had letters to write--and so got to the tavern in time for dinner, which they have at the pagan hour of half-past eleven. Then I set towork thinking. I am not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman alwayshad the ascendancy at college, and last night I fell into the old way ofplaying chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do, and I must assertmyself. He was much the better student of course, but I have knockedabout and seen more of the world than he has, shut up in these woodslike a toad in a tree. He is too good a sort to go to seed with hisconfounded whimseys; so I determined to take a different tone with him. And I wrote to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent woman, andsometimes has very good ideas where mine fail--though of course I seldomlet her see that. That evening I took him in hand. 

"Jim, " I said, "I've been thinking--about you. "

"Ah, " said he. "Large results may be expected from such unusualexertion. Impart them by all means. "

"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish, and unprincipled. "

"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone. "That is your thesis. Prove it. "

I went on. "A man should be doing something: you are doing nothing. Aman should have a stake in the community. What have you got? Three dogsand an old cow. A man should be in connection and sympathy with thegreat tides of life. Here you are with nobody but yokels to talk to, andthe pulse of the region about two to the minute. "

"Twin brother of my soul, companion of the palmy days of youth, methinks--as they say in the wild and wondrous West--you hit me where Ilive. But none of these things move me. I am lost in admiration of youroratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in you. But you said allthis, in simpler language, last night. "

I saw I had overshot the mark: when he takes that tone, you are nowhere. "Jim, " I said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left off, then. Grantedthat you don't care for making money, and the ends most of us are after. By character and fortune you are above the usual selfish motives. Stillyou are a man, a member of the community: you have duties to yourfellows. Let the nobler motives come in. Do something to make the worldhappier, wiser, better. You have the power, if you had the will. Are notprivate talents a public trust? You used to berate the hogs of Epicurus'sty. It seems to me you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence. Yourlife here is a huge egoism. Cut loose from these withering notions:there is a better side to things than the one you see. Come back to theworld, and be a man again. "

His eye was very bright now--not that it was ever dull--but I could notquite make out what it meant; perhaps mere curiosity. "Robert, " he said, "I should believe that somebody had been coaching you, but there's noone in range who could do it except myself. It's not like you to havebrought books along; and you've not had time to hear from home. What putyou up to this?"

"Hartman, " I said, "look me in the eye and see whether I mean what Isay. Go back with me next week. Make your home at my house till you canlook round. I'll introduce you to some men who are not shams--and women, if you like. I know a few who have souls and consciences, though they dogo to parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You can make a new start. Something went wrong before. Better luck this time. "

"Bob, " said he, "I'll take your word for it. Deeply touched by suchunexpected and undeserved consideration--no, I won't chaff. You're nothalf a bad lot. But, my dear boy, you see the thing from yourstandpoint; mine is different. I'll try to explain. But what would youhave me do?"

"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so you get an object in life. "

"Do you remember what De Senancour says, in _Obermann_?"

"Not I. Put it in your own English, please: no French morals in mine. "

"What is there to be done that is worth doing? It seems to me thateverything is overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten storeswhere one is needed. How do all these poor creatures live? Do you seeanything noble in this petty struggle for existence? I can't. I serve mykind best by getting out of their way: that makes one less in thescramble. "

"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy, Jim. You could deal in ahigher line of goods, and do it in your own way. "

"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I can't do it in my own way. I havetried--not much, but enough to see. There is no market for my wares: andI'm not sure they are worth marketing--or that any man's are. Truth as Isee it is the last article to be in demand. "

"As you think you see it just now, very likely. Your eye is jaundiced, and sees all things yellow. Get well, and you can find a market. Fityour mind to the facts, and receive a true impression. "

"Exactly what I have done--so far as any impression is true. That's thepoint I've been waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is change, andLife is opinion. ' As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he; and as hethinks of things outside himself, so are they to him. One can do no morethan use his eyes and brains, and then rule himself by what he sees. Ihave looked at matters more carefully and dispassionately than some do, and seen a little deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying, Bob. Iam prejudiced, you say? No, I have cast aside prejudice. Most of you aremisled by the love of life: you want to give a favorable account of yourown belongings, and the wish is father to the thought: so you blink whatis before you, and won't own the truth. Perhaps you are wise in yourway: you gain such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you can: I haveno desire to disturb it. "

"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of superior wisdom here?"

"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott observed, we are all poorcreatures. 'I do not speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I have myfull share of infirmity. "

"Then why not take the benefit of it, with the rest of us? There's abetter as well as a worse side. Take things as they are, and make thebest of them. "

"I do. The best is the least, and I get away from things as much aspossible. To minimize life is to make the best of it. "

"Now you're at it again; begging the question, and dodging theargument--you'd say, summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's allmental, and your mind's diseased. You think you're injured by the schemeof things. Well, change your opinion, and the injury is gone. Didn't oneof your old philosophers say something like that?"

"He didn't give it quite the application you do, Bob. How can I changean opinion that is based accurately on facts? I don't make the facts: ifI did, my opinion of myself would be yet worse than it is. I have abrain--such as it is--and a conscience: I can keep them clean and awake, even on Crusoe's island. Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is thegood of man? Rectitude of will, and to understand the appearances ofthings. '"

"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three kids, as I have, you'd seethings differently. They would give you an interest in life. "

"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That responsibility at least can'tbe forced on a man. He can let his part of the curse die out with him. "

"Jim, you _are_ selfish. You were made to gladden some woman's eye andfill her heart. You were the strongest man of the nine, and the best oarin the crew. We all envied your looks, and there's more of them now. You could outshine all the gilded youth I know, and hold your own withthe best. I remember a girl that thought so, a dozen years ago. Somewhere a woman is waiting for you to come and claim her. Why will yourob her and the world? This wilful waste is selfish wickedness, that'swhat it is. "

"Think so if you must: it's a free country. But you sugar the pill toomuch. Who misses me--or what if some few did for a while? They'veforgotten me long ago. I tell you, I served society by deserting it. "

"It's all very well now, Jim, while your youth and strength last. Butafter you turn forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will losetheir charm; you'll get bored as you've never been yet. The emptinessand dreariness that you theorize about will become stern realities:you'll pine, when it's too late, for human affection and some hold onlife. My lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old age. "

I thought I had him at last. His surface lightness was all gone: helooked intent and solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least in life. Iam human, and the worst is yet to come. But do you think me such a cadas to go back on my principles in search of so poor a shadow ashappiness? Shall I, in base hope of easing my own burden, throw it onsomebody else who but for me might go through existence lightly? ShouldI call sentient beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness, that theymay pay a duty to my weakness by and by, and curse me in their hearts?That would be somewhat too high a price to pay for broth when I amtoothless, and the coddling comforts of one who has lived too long. "

I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked me. "Dear boy, " I said, "they wouldn't look at it in that light. They would be your wife and yourchildren. "

"Yes, " he said, still savagely, "they would be my wife andchildren--supposing your unsupposable case. Grant that my notions are asfalse and monstrous as you think them: a pleasant lot for my wife, wouldn't it, to be in constant contact with them? And my children wouldhave my blood in them--the taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O, I've seen it in your eye. Others would think so too--most, no doubt. No, Bob; better let it die out with me. "

"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to the tavern. " I wasdisappointed, and he saw it. 

"Don't make yourself wretched about me, old man. Let this thing go--youcan't mend it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what you find. We havethe May weather, good legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full oftrout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if you want a change I'llshow you where you can have a chance for deer. And for the evenings, there are other topics besides ourselves--or rather myself. You can tellme about your children; they are likely to be healthier than mine wouldbe. Good night, my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me. "

III. 

COMPLICATIONS. 

After that I found it best to do as Hartman had said. The sport wasgood, but I failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for each of usmakes or mars his own life, and it is no use moping over your neighbor'sblunders; but I could not get that poor devil out of my mind. He talksas well on one subject as on another: it was I, not he, had brought himunder discussion; but the evenings dragged. Then came a letter fromhome: the distance is considerable, and the mails slow. "Dear Robert, "my wife wrote, "I am glad to know you are so comfortable. Keep yourflannels on, and change your clothing when you have been in the wet. Thechildren are well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday, butfortunately without injury. Bring your friend Mr. H. Back with you; heseems to be presentable, and evidently all he needs is a little cheeringfeminine society. " [Hum: feminine society puts a higher estimate on itsown powers than I do, then. ] "Clarice has returned. You know howenterprising she is, not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you. Shehas taken a fancy to try your retreat, and learn to catch trout. " [Shehas, eh? Well, let's get on with this. ] "Jane will go with her, ofcourse: they start on Thursday. Secure rooms for them, and have avehicle to meet them. "

Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel easy about me, I had enlargedtoo much on the accommodations here; they are a long way from what shesupposes. I called the landlord. "Hodge, here are two ladies coming fromthe city. Where can you put them?"

"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used to city gals. Hope they don'tbring no sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your room, an mine, an oldPoll's, and the gerrit. Me and you might go out in the hayloft like, orsleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm. "

While he was maundering on, the whole truth flashed upon me. Why can'tI see things at once, like Hartman? If I had his sharpness, and he myslow common sense, there would be two men fit for this world'suses--which neither of us appears to be, as the case stands. I hadrashly said too much about Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a bornmanager and matchmaker--can't endure to see an eligible man uncaught. She has put the girls up to this game: 'cheering feminine society, 'indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman enough, and not much youngerthan I; but Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, andirresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'--well, I should say so: cheeky, you might call it. Women do take such stunning liberties nowadays. Mywife would reprove me for slang; but weaker words fail to express thefact, and my feelings about it. I might stand these girls coming up hereafter me--Clarice is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's and looks on meas a brother. But Jim--no. She must be pining for more worlds toconquer, and it would just suit her book to bring a romantic hermit toher feet. I should like well enough to see her try it, when I was notresponsible, but not under present circumstances. Great Cæsar! Jim willthink I have put up this job on him, and never forgive me: nor would I, in his place. This field is getting too thick with missionaries. --"Hodge, it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive me to the station. I musttelegraph. And while I'm there, I may as well put for home. We can catchthe night train if you hurry. "

"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint changes: like to move when Igit a good ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn--. "

I checked his incipient profanity. "My friend, whether you like it ornot is in this case immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant tostay, and all you like for the fifteen miles. But be quick, now. "

While he was hunting strings for his broken buckboard, I threw my trapstogether, and scratched a line to Jim: called home by sudden press ofbusiness, I said--and so it was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I hadenough to think of. At the depot I wired, "Hold the girls. I am comingback. " As I straightened up from this exercise, there was the old sinnergrinning malignantly over my shoulder. "Hodge, " I said, "not a wordabout the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind, " and I gave him an extra dollar. This was another mistake, I suppose. 

"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes back on my friends. " Whatcould the old fool be thinking of? I would have given him some morecautions, but the train came, and I was off. 

You may imagine the reception at home. I tried to take a high hand, butwhat can a man do against three women? "I really think, Robert, " saidMabel, "that since the girls had set their hearts on this excursion, youmight have indulged them. " "The conceit of men!" cried Clarice; "whathad our coming to do with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor, that noone may trespass on his demesne?" Jane too turned on me. "It was notvery kind of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance above your ownsister, and suspect her motives in order to save his peace, forsooth!" Iknew it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of humble pie, all the same. You may believe me or not--if you are a family man you will, withoutdifficulty--but I had to get those women apart, and explain things tothem one at a time, before I could have peace in the house. My own fleshand blood were soon mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me yet. Ihave been on my knees to her, so to speak--most men do it, and sheexpects it--but it is of no use. "My dear Clarice, " said I, "you know Iwould do anything in the world for you. " "Yes, " said she contemptuously, "I've just had experience of it. " "But you don't know Hartman. " "Thenwhy couldn't you let me know him?" "But it wouldn't have done, underthese circumstances. He--I--. " "Unhappy man, " she said, with her tragedyqueen air, "is it possible you imagined that you were a better judge ofthe proprieties than I?" And that's the way it goes. I am coming tobelieve Hartman was right about the fate of philanthropic efforts, atleast. 

In the midst of all this came a note from Jim himself. "Dear Bob, Ienclose something which Hodge says you left behind. " [O thrice-accursedidiot, did I leave Mabel's letter lying around loose?] "Of course I havenot looked into it, but I fear he has. " [You may bet on that: the onlychance was that he could not read her fine Italian hand. ] "He says oneof your children fell down stairs: I trust the results were not serious. Sorry you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies from coming. Hodge's quarters are not palatial, but you could bunk with me, as I atfirst proposed; and since they were willing to rough it, we would havemanaged somehow. You could surely rely on my humble aid toward makingtheir sojourn in the wilderness endurable. And _per contra_, a littlecheering feminine society might have assisted your benevolent effortstoward my reclamation. Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoledand unconverted?"

Well, the business is done now, with neatness and dispatch. That beastHodge has told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to that fatal phraseof my wife's: so there's an end of his faith in me, and of any chance Imight have had to set him straight. That was a fortnight ago, and I havenot the face to answer him. When I have any more doctrinaire anchoritesto convert, I shall not call a family council. But alas, poor Hartman!

IV. 

A WILFUL PRINCESS. 

I was wrong about Hartman after all. He has written me again, and thisis what he says:

"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions you argued against somanfully? You had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I believed, andwould like still to believe, that one man can be true and kind toanother. And perhaps in general you had stirred and shaken me up morethan you knew. Socrates outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction. Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't wish to dogmatize. It may bethat I have lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space, where lightcould enter only through my perversely colored glasses. At any rate, your coming was like opening a door and letting in a wholesome breeze. Have I offended you? I thought I was past asking favors from my kind:but do let me hear from you. "

Of course I had to answer that, and worse, to show it to the girls. Somemen, now, would keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity; butsuch is not my style. Let them crow over me if they must. 

They did. "Well, Robert, " said Mabel, "you see now how absurdly mistakenyou were. Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage our own affairs, and not complicate them with your bungling masculine attempts atsuperior wisdom. " "I am glad to know, brother, " said Jane, "that yourfriend is a gentleman, incapable of the base suspicions you would haveattributed to him. You did your best to prevent our knowing him andcarrying out your ideas for his improvement: now we shall be able tomeet him cordially, and try to cheer him a little. But probably he isnot at all as dark as you have painted him. "

Clarice would say nothing: she was in one of her high and mighty moods. Her soul is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it twinkles, butmore generally it does not. I often want to tell her that she is acreature too bright and good to come to breakfast like other folks; butsomehow she has a way of keeping people at a distance, and even ofrepressing my pleasantries. We call her the Princess: She has to beapproached with bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments ifyou want to fire them off at her; rear them as gently as a suckingchild, in fact--and then they are very seldom appreciated. 

"Clarice, " I said, "I want to get Hartman down here. Do treat himkindly, please; won't you, now?"

She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why should I treat him kindly?"

"O well, I won't say for my sake, because you wouldn't care for that. But the poor devil has lived in the woods so long. "

"He might have been well enough in his woods; but why should you bringyour poor devils into civilized society, and expect me to bear withtheir gaucheries, in addition to your own?"

There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year for upsetting her fine planof going up there to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely takes thesefancies, I must own; and when she does, she is not accustomed to bebalked of them. As it has turned out, I might as well have let her haveher way that time; there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't youtrampled on me enough? I was wrong, and I'm very sorry: what more can aman say? But Hartman had no hand in that. "

"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you. Small merit in confessingafter you are proved guilty. "

"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow. But you needn't punish Hartmanfor my fault. Thrash me all you like, but give him a chance. I give youmy word of honor, Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and verydifferent from me. You needn't fear awkwardness in him. I knew you wouldlike him. "

"How do _you_ know what I would like? If this Mr. Hartman wants to see alittle of the world, I have no desire to prevent his being reclaimedfrom barbarism. Mabel and Jane can do that, without my aid. To tell youthe truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man, after the disgustingcomplications which you have introduced. "

I groaned--I couldn't help it. "Princess, please God, I will neverinterfere with you again. You shall be safe from any meddling of mine. If you will kindly say what you want, and say it slow, so that mylimited faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly. But, ifI may make so bold as to inquire, what are you up to now?"

"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so badly about it, Bob: I am nottied to you and Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you know, and onlyreturned while you were at your fishing. I have a dozen invitations forthe summer: I think I will join Constance. "

"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is your natural home, Clarice, and you shall not be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here who is notacceptable to you: if anything about the house don't suit you, name itand it shall be corrected. You know Jane and Mabel worship you; so dothe children, if you count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I canentertain him at the club while you are all at Newport. "

"That will be hospitality indeed. Would you desert your friend for me?"

"I would not desert you for all the friends under the canopy. You havealways ruled the house when you deigned to be in it, and you alwayswill. I may be low in your books, but it does not follow that you arenot high in mine. We can't do without you, Princess; you must stay. Nameyour price, and I'll pay it if it breaks me. "

"Very well then; I will remain, and meet your Mr. Hartman. But one thingmust be distinctly understood: there must be no more crossing of mywill. I must be absolutely free and unhampered, to plan and carry outwhat I see fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you will not knowwhen, and it is not for you to judge. No more interference oropposition, remember. Do the terms suit you?"

"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in the drawing-room, andeverybody shall approach you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I had bettercome to you to see if my tie is right before dinner, and to practicewhat I shall say when we have company. "

"It might improve you. But Mabel should be competent to attend to thosetrifles. On one point I must instruct you, though. I shall doubtless dothings that appear to you strange, perverse, incomprehensible. In suchcases it will be best for you to walk by faith. No meddling norespionage, mind. "

"Clarice, you don't think me capable of playing the spy on you?"

"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge in little tricks andstratagems: you like to think that you hoodwink your wife--not that itever succeeds--in small unimportant matters. Mabel and Jane may endureyour attempts, if they like; but don't try them on me. They would neverdeceive me for a moment, of course; but I can't waste time inexplaining that to you in detail. Besides, your fancied success wouldunsettle your mind, and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium. "

"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to you?"

"No: you dare not. But let me have no subterfuges, no concealments, andno criticisms. What I may do you cannot expect to understand, nor is itnecessary that you should. "

"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed to be free. When I see you atthose little games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly, can't I have anopinion of them?"

"O yes. The opinion will be of small value, but your poor mind must beamused and occupied somehow, I suppose. But you will be carrying youropinions about the house, and introducing an element of confusion. Ifyou could keep your own counsel, now--but that is hopeless. "

"When you are operating on Hartman, for instance, it might confuse theprogramme if I were to say anything to him, eh?"

"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be very much better for his welfareand yours for you to leave him in my hands. "

"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt, though they grind him topowder. But what the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to anybody else, can't I come to you with my opinions--in odd moments, when your serenehighness has nothing better on hand?"

"You may bring your valuable ideas to me, and I will hear them, when Ihave leisure and inclination. Yes, that will be best. But noconcealments, mind. When you think you know anything that affects me, come to me with it at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out tosomebody else. You promise?"

"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal favor. Anything else? I mean, has your majesty any further commands? You'll have to give me audienceabout three times a day, you know, to keep me in mind of all theserules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them. "

"You had better try to remember. I'll keep an eye on you. And now do youwant any more, or have you learnt your lesson?"

"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call my soul my own. The humblestof your slaves craves permission to kiss the royal hand. I say, Clarice, you won't be rough on poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard lines: youcould easily break him to pieces, what is left of him. "

"If there is so little left of him, there would be small credit inbreaking him to pieces, as you elegantly express it. I shall probablylet him alone. "

"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of him yet: he is as handsome afellow, and as fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're tired ofthe regulation article, dancing man and such, that you meet every night:I don't wonder. This is something out of the common. He needs a littlelooking after, too. I wish now I had let you get at him in May, as youproposed. "

"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar figment of your debasedimagination at me again, I will go away and never come back. You make mesick of the man's name. If you ever breathe a hint of this disgustingslander to him I will never forgive either of you, nor speak to you. "

"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you know that your good name is assacred to me as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with notions that Icouldn't put in words to anybody else?"

"Let them have some shadow of reason and decency about them, then. Cannot a girl plan a rural excursion, in company with your sister andunder your escort, without being accused of designs on a strange man whochances to be in the neighborhood? You try my patience sorely, Robert. Iwonder how Mabel can endure you. "

"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower, as it says in Pilgrim'sProgress. Walk over me some more, and then maybe you'll feel better. What the d--There, I'm at it again. Clarice, it might improve me if youwould mix a little kindness with your corrections; handle me as if youloved me, like the old fisherman with his worms, you know. Itdiscourages a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses. "

"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to purge your mind of that vilethought, and never to admit another that dishonors me. "

"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine Articles and the WestminsterCatechism and the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em. I'llthink anything you tell me to: I signed my soul away an hour ago. " HereI saw that I had gone too far, and she was really angry. She's right; Imust learn to check my confounded tongue, if I am to keep on any termswith the Princess. So I changed my tune, just in time. "Don't go, Clarice. Honestly, I beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your word isall the evidence I want of any fact under heaven, of course. Princessdear, I've been fond of you since you were a baby, and it has grown withyour growth--it has, really. I'll prove it some day: you wait and see. Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't speak, if you are tired, but justgive me your hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in token offorgiveness. "

She gave it. I am not good at descriptions, but a man might go barefootand fasting for a week, and be paid by touching such a hand as that. Thequeer thing is that I've known Clarice for over twenty years--I told youshe had been in society for six--and practically lived with her most ofthat time, and yet she grows more surprising every day. It seems to begenerally supposed that familiarity breeds contempt in such cases; thatsisters, and wives, and the like, get to be an old story to the men whobelong to them. Clarice is not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure, she is neither my wife nor any blood relation; but I don't see that thatmakes any difference. They took out a patent for her up above, andreserved all rights, with no power of duplication. She might care for mea little more; but then I don't suppose I've ever given her any reasonto. I am well enough in my way, but I'm not such an original andstriking specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers--not by a long shot. She was exhausted now, and that is how I got a chance to put in all thiswisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for a week, and it would produceno effect: but a little thing upsets the Princess, her organization isso delicate and sensitive. She is all alive and on fire, or else languidand disdainful: she can't take life easily, as people of coarser graindo, like me. Her brain weighs too much and works too hard; that uses herup. I don't doubt she has a heart to match; but it has never yet wakedup to any great extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No matter;people will care for you all the same, Beauty, whether you care for themor not. Don't fancy that I am the only one--far from it: but I have theluck to be her adopted brother from infancy, and to have access to herwhen others have not. She is not always kind--very seldom, in fact, upto date: but it is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment fromher is good enough for me. She used to tyrannize over me in this waywhen she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no doubt, to the endof the chapter. Outside, I sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air, andfancy that I can think of you lightly, my Princess--that is the correctsociety tone, and it does not pay to display the finer feelings of ournature to the general world: but when I come under the spell of yourpresence, I know that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair Inez ofthe ballad, God bless you. You and Hartman ought to get on together: itmight be a good thing for you both--him especially. Mabel and Jane arewomen too, but they are as devoted to you as I am, according to theirlights, and more jealous for you: jealousy seems to be no part of me, luckily. Well, between us we ought to be able to keep all harm from you, if you will let us. 

Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but only thought it. Then sheopened her eyes and yawned a little. 

"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have been: you tired me so. O yes, Iknow you think a good deal of me: that is an old story. Well, anythingmore?"

"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you didn't promise yet. "

"Well, when he comes I will look him over and see what is to be donewith him. I must go upstairs and dress now. " And with this I had to becontent. 

This conversation occurred of a Sunday afternoon, when Mabel and Janehad gone to Church, and taken Herbert with them: the infants were outfor an airing with their nurse. Fortunately there was a long missionarysermon, and a big collection, to which I must send five dollars extra:the occasion was worth that much to me. As the Princess left the room, they came in. They looked at her, then at me. "What have you been doingto Clarice, Robert?"

"Only preparing her to receive Hartman. "

"Preparing her! you great goose, what does she want with yourpreparation? You'll only prejudice her against him, and spoil anychances he might have. Let her alone, do. Haven't you made mischiefenough between them already?"

That is all they know about it. Churchgoing sometimes fails to bring thefemale mind into a proper frame. But you see they are ready to scratchout even my eyes at the thought that I have been rubbing her down thewrong way. No matter: I know what I know, and they need not try to makeme believe that these things will go right without proper management. 

V. 

CONSULTATION. 

We usually go to Newport for the summer. As Mrs. Fishhawk says, thebathing is so fine, and the cliffs are such a safe place for children toplay. Not that we care so much for the society: the Princess has seenthe vanity of that and been bored with it, and the rest of us are verydomestic people. After much persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreedto join us there: I was to pick him up in New York and take him down. Anight or two before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid cliffs, which afford a fine walk in the moonlight with the right kind ofcompany, but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony and forget to lookwhere you are going. The Princess, it is needless to say, never commitsthis folly: she always has her wits about her, and wits of a high orderthey are, as not a few men have found to their cost, myselfincluded, --many and many a time. She opened the ball. 

"Robert, do you remember our compact?"

"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words are my law, more sacred andperemptory than the Ten Commandments, or those of the old codger whowrote 'em in blood because his ink had given out. As a servant looks tothe hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your dark blue eye fordirection and approval. Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, inthis direction occasionally: it won't cost you much, and will encourageme. If the devotion of a lifetime--"

"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said it often enough. Now youwill have an opportunity to put it in practice. Drop generalities, andcome to business. "

"My heart's queen, I am all attention. Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bidme leap from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry roar--"

"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the house? We are not rehearsingprivate theatricals now. "

"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I expect to see some next week. "

"You will see my place at table vacant if you don't keep quiet, andlisten to what I have to say. I can join Constance yet. You talk aboutyour affection for me and anxiety to serve me, and when I want somethingdefinite of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the Platonic, or whatyou would perhaps call the humorous: it is not easy to discriminatethem. Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"

When the Princess wants to bring a man to book, he has to come there, and stay there till he sees a favorable opening for a break: there wasnone such just now. So I called in the white-winged coursers of my tooexuberant fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the lady's pardon asusual, and composed myself into an attitude of respectful and devoutattention, as if I were in church. It was not long after dinner: Iwanted to have some more fun, but that did not seem to be just the timeand place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly, and waxed anew thethread of her discourse. 

"I told you that my actions might appear strange to your ignorance. Iwill tell you now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for yourguidance: then perhaps you will have sense enough not to go gapingabout, but to fall into line and do what is required of you. I havedetermined to see very little of this Mr. Hartman--"

"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I relied on you--"

"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall see but little of him atfirst. You have made such an ado about the man, I am disposed to beinterested in him, for your sake. There, that will do; let my handbe. "--I was merely pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify mygratitude for this unusual consideration: I don't know when she everowned to doing a thing for my sake before. "For your sake first, yougreat baby, and then, if he is worth it, for his own. But at the start, as I told you, I must look him over; and that I can do best at a littledistance. "

"And then you mean to take him in and do for him? You can, of course;but, Princess dear, be merciful--for my sake first, and then, if he isworth it, for his own. Don't grind him up too fine: leave pieces of himbig enough to be recognized and collected by his weeping friends. "

"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain your native coarseness. What can a man like you know of the motives and intentions of a womanlike me? Poor child, if I were to put them before you in the plainestterms the facts and the dictionary allow, you could not understandthem. "

As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have won fame and fortune. I hopeshe may not pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does me: he mightnot take it so kindly. To eliminate the metaphor, she is a master at thewholesome process of taking a man down: not that I don't often deserveit, or that it is not good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion, from her youth up, to get her hand in; and admiration of her skill bindsup the wounds, so to speak, with which my whole moral nature is scarredat least sixteen deep. In case you should not follow my imaginativestyle, let me say in simpler language that I am used to it; but anotherman might not understand it. I consumed some more humble pie--thesedesserts occur frequently in the symposia of our conversations--and sheresumed. 

"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She will be very sisterly andgracious, and will make the first stages of his return to the world easyand pleasant. This may last two days, or two weeks. "

"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying but a week or ten days. "

"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He will stay as long as I want himto. "

"What, whether you notice him or not?"

"Of course. Are you six years old? Have you never seen me in actionbefore?"

"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give it up. Of course you can doanything you like, but I never realized that you could do it withoutseeming to take a hand in the game. I strew ashes on my head likewhat's-his-name, and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive apenitent devotee for forming such lame and inadequate conceptions ofyour power. But what part do you want me to dress for in this improvingmoral drama?"

"Your part is very simple. Of course I must be occupied. I should hardlyshine as a wall-flower. "

"You would shine anywhere. If you were a violet by an old stone, youcouldn't be half or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the suppositionis impossible. If you were free, no other girl in the room would have achance. "

"That is very passable, though not wholly new. You are improving, Bob. If you would give your mind to it, I could mould you into tolerablemanners yet. --Well, I might get plenty of men from the houses around. But they are tiresome--staler than you, my Robert, though I see less ofthem--and I can't take the same liberties with them I do with you. Youare to belong to me as long as I may want you. "

"That is not new at all, Princess. It has been so for years. Everybodyabout the house knows that, even the servants--and all our friends. "

"Yes, of course. But I am to make special use of my property for thenext few days. You will have to be in constant attendance. You ought toenjoy the prospect, and the reality when it comes. "

"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O confound it, I've got my linesmixed already. "

"Rather. If you startle the audience with such a speech as that, whatwill Mr. Hartman think? You must put on your prettiest behavior, Bob. Make a desperate effort, and try to keep it up--for my sake, now. "

"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton and Brummell and all thosedudes rolled into one. I'll order some new clothes when I go down. Andyou will have to be very gracious to me, you know. "

"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How is this for a rehearsal?"

"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress. When you treat me thus for an hour, I can bear your ill usage for a year. "

"There will be no ill usage at present, if you behave. Now don't forget, and spoil the play. Understand, you are to pair off with me, as Mr. Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied with the children; we willall look after her, of course. And there will be mixing and change ofpartners, but not much. You must watch, and obey my slightest hint--theturn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan. I'll teach you all that. "

"I know a lot of it already: when it comes to watching you, I am adabster. I'll behave as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius, andin training to succeed them both. Do you know, Princess, if you were totreat a stranger for half a day as you are treating me now, he wouldwant to die for you?"

"He might die for want of me before the day was over, if he grewlackadaisical over his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as you, mypoor Robert. You may have to do that sort of dying before long. You mustbe ready to be dropped when the time comes to change the figures. Nogrowling or moping, mind: you must submit sweetly, and take your placein the background with Jane, while the rest of the play goes on. "

"I know: I've been there before. I can find consolation in seeing youcarry the leading part. One set of men passes away, and another setcomes on; but the Princess goes on conquering, regardless of the moansof her victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield. O, I'm used tobeing shoved aside, and feeding on my woes in silent patience. Theflowret fades when day is done, and so does every mother's son Whothinks his course is just begun, And knows not that his race is run--Howdoes it go on, Clarice? I forget the rest of it. "

"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it. I would if I were you, and quickly, lest you horrify some one else with it. You are too big topose as a flowret, Bob. "

"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to be around with Hartman, smoking and so on, nights, after you and the rest have turned in, andoften in the daylight. You and Jane can't attend to his case in personall the time, you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say about you?"

"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies, of course. That will be inkeeping with your part as my cavalier; and he will see how things arebetween us--on your side, I mean. Tell him about my few faults, if youcan bring yourself to mention them. Yes, you must; they will set off mymany virtues. Be perfectly natural about it: you have known andcherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not a word, of course, aboutour compact, and these rehearsals, and my coaching you--O you greatbooby, were you capable of blurting that out? If you do, you'll spoilall, and I'll never forgive you. Remember now: you profess to dread myanger, and you have reason; you've felt it before. If you want me everto trust you again, keep to yourself what is between us; regard it assacred. O, I know you profess to look at all that belongs to me in thatlight; but show your faith by your works. Swear it to me now. "

I swore. That is a ceremony which has to be gone through ratherfrequently with the Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But how thedeuce is one to remember all these rules and regulations? I'll have toget Clarice to write them out for me, by chapter and verse, with bigheadings; then I'll get the thing printed, and carry it about with me, and study it nights and mornings. But Mabel might find it in my clothes:she is welcome to my secrets, but this is not mine. I might have itprinted in cipher; but then I should be sure to lose the key. O, confound it all, I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip upsomewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well, why borrow trouble? Let'sgather the flowers while we may: only there are none just here, and itis too dark to find them. Then a thought suddenly struck me: why nothead off the difficulty by improving my position beforehand? "Princessdearest, do you like me better than you used to, or is this only partof the play, the excitement of practicing for a newcomer? Tell me, please--there's a dear. "

We were near the house now, and she darted away from me. "If you tellsme no questions, I asks you no lies, " she sang gaily as she ran in. Oshades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a woman that is--or what an idiot Iam: I can't be sure which till I get an outside opinion. I'd give oddsthat within a fortnight Hartman will be far gone. It will be life ordeath for him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now, inwardly speaking, and so has not much to lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with Claricein it is not as blank and chilly as he thinks it now--not by severalthousand degrees. I fancy his thermometer will begin to go up prettysoon. He needs shaking up and turning inside out and upside down--ageneral ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss Elliston willadminister it to him. 

VI. 

PREPARATION. 

I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way about Hartman's coming; shehas not waked up so, or come down from her Olympian clouds ofindifference, in a long time. But still I thought it best to go aroundand make some more preparations. When I have a secret to carry, itoppresses my frank and open nature more than you would think; and I findthat I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning the matter of it ofpersons who know nothing about it. Naturally I began with the head ofthe house. That is myself, I suppose, nominally; but every decent manallows his wife to fill the position, and get what comfort she can outof it. 

"Mabel, " I said, "I hope that Hartman will enjoy himself here. "

"You told us he was not given to enjoying himself; on the contrary, quite the reverse. No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He willhardly want to go out to dinner every day, and meet the Vanderdeck's andthe foreign princess. "

"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to meet him in the rightspirit. "

"What absurd questions you ask, Robert. You talk as if he were a bishop, come to convert us: I thought we were to convert him. I hope I do notneed to be instructed how to receive my husband's friends. And Jane isready to take an interest in him: she can be very nice, you know. "

"And Clarice: will she do her part?"

"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on any occasion. She would be moreapt to do what you wish if you would not trouble her about Mr. Hartman. We are not three little maids from school, to be taught our manners. Whycan you not learn that matters would move just as well, yes, and better, without your continual interference, dear? Your blunders only complicatethem, and disturb the harmony. "

Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's bosom to talk, isn't it?How often, O how often, would I remove the clouds of care from herplacid brow, and smooth her path through life by graceful persiflage andappropriate witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate them. I fearshe must have had some Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she doesnot appreciate _me_. It is a cold world; a cold, heartless, unfeeling, unresponsive world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly aroundpromiscuously like Noah's dove, and have to stay out in a lowtemperature. Wisely and beneficently is it arranged that Virtue shouldbe her own reward, since she gets no other. I will try Jane next. 

"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night, and expect to bringHartman back. You will receive him kindly, for my sake, will you not?"

Jane is a little prim at times, and I have to arrange my sentencescarefully, when I am with her. 

"I will do that, of course: why so many words about it? Have you notbeen preparing me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last month? Weknow what is right, Robert: _your_ behavior is the only doubtful part. "

"But Clarice, sister? She is always so doubtful, as Mabel says; socapricious, so haughty, so unapproachable. You have great influence withher. Dear Jane, can you not persuade her to treat my poor friendkindly?"

"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable humbug? We allknow that you are in her confidence, when any one is. What were you twotalking about all last evening? Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it wasnot intended to be practiced on me--not on her part; that is yourunauthorized addition to her text. " And the maiden assumed the part ofPallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if she would read my inmostsoul. But she can't beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady, you aretoo sharp; you are getting dangerously near the truth. I came nearsaying this out, but did not. Instead I took an injured tone. 

"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about suspecting me this way, andaccusing me of intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-heartedwickedness. What would I want to deceive you for? You know we all haveto consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an orphan, and we are hernearest friends. She amuses herself with me sometimes, for want ofanother man at hand, and then throws me aside when the fit is over. "

"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well, brother, you can go to townwith an easy mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me; when she is notin the humor to attend to him, I will. "

Now how does Jane come to know so much? Has the Princess been taking herinto the plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe. Clarice wouldexpect Jane to take her cue by intuition, and not bother to coach her asshe has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther. That must be it: onewoman can see into another's mind where a man couldn't. I must put amark on that for future reference. They do beat us at some minor points. Well, I didn't exactly get the best of that encounter: it seems to me Iowe Jane one, which I must try and remember to pay. 

VII. 

INITIATION. 

Hartman arrived on schedule time, and was duly taken home with me. "Oldman, " I said, "welcome back to the amenities of life; to the tendercharities of man and woman; to the ties, too long neglected, which bindyour being to the world's glad heart. You are the prodigal returningfrom sowing his wild oats in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall bekilled for you, in moderation, as per contract, and the home brewed aledrawn mild. We are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves: that willsuit your book. The giddy crowd, in its frivolous pursuit of amusementand fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity, and old Ocean, in hisstorm-tost fury, dashes his restless waves upon our good back door, oradjacent thereto. But we give small heed to either one of them. The seaviews and feminine costumes are supposed to be of the highest order, and there is polo at stated intervals, if you care for such; but thesevanities have little to do with the calm current of our daily life. Youwill shortly have in front of you a christian family, united in bonds oflong-tried affection and confidence. The earthly paradise, James, mustbe sought in the peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing on theangry billows of Water Street, how sweet to return to this haven ofrest! And you too, world-worn and weary man of woes, shall receiveattention. The furrows of care shall be smoothed out of your manly brow:gentle hands will bind up your wounds--even the one you got from thatgirl a dozen years ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of gloomyand soul-debasing Theory will flit away from your bewildered brain, andin this healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain its long-lost tone, and embrace once more the ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith. Probably you will yet find some one to love in this wide world ofsorrow; anyway, we hope to send you forth clothed and in your rightmind. "

"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will be with what I've got in mytrunk; and I need to be in my right mind to take in all this eloquence. I was mistaken about you, Bob; you should have been a preacher. The onlydrawback is, you don't stick to one key long enough: these suddenchanges in your woodnotes wild might confuse a congregation. "

"The church lacks vivacity and sense of humor, Jim: she's all for a dullmonotone. Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on me, but they don'tappreciate that style nowadays. To return to our topic, and deal withthe duty that lies nearest. In an humble and pottering way, we are ahappy family, James. We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewheretheir gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings of pride; but you will findthings pretty comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do our smokingout of doors; but it is generally warm enough for that. If we are notedfor anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming virtue, andcheerful candor--just as you see them in me. Each face reflects thegenuine emotions and guileless innocence of the heart connectedtherewith; more than that, they reflect one another, as in a glass. Youcan look at Mabel, and see all that is passing in my capacious bosom. Weshare each other's woes, each other's burdens bear, and if we don't dropthe sympathizing tear frequently, it is because there is very seldom anycall for it. We have no secrets from one another: limpid and pure flowsthe confidential stream--but it flows no further than the fence. You cansay what you like to any of us, and it will not go out of thehouse--unless the servants overhear it; you'll have to look out forthat, of course. "

"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no idea I was coming among suchapostolic manners, or I'd have taken a course of À Kempis. Are there anyprayer-meetings near by, where I can go to freshen up?"

"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can tell you about them; she canlend you a prayer-book, anyway. But I was not meaning to discourage you:they will make allowances. My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want toget on with her, you'll have to take an interest in Herbert's bruiseswhen he falls over the banisters. He is the only one of the children whowill trouble you much; the others are small yet, happily. My sister is apattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring mind, and sympatheticif you take her the right way: she can talk with you about philosophyand science and your dried-up old doxies. Not that she knows anythingabout Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of course; but she's heardtheir names, and she'll pretend to be posted--you know how women are. And when you need a mental tonic--the companionship of a robustintellect, the stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great world of menand things, a manly comprehension of any difficulties that you may meet, or sound and wise advice how to steer your way through the pitfalls andintricacies of the female character--in such cases, which will no doubtoften arise, you have only to come to me. I know all about thesematters, of which you have had no experience. I'll be at home as much aspossible while you are there, and I'll stand by you, Jim. "

"Thanks, awfully--as I believe they say where we are going. Yes, youwill be an invaluable mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to disgrace you. It is late: let us turn in. "

This important conversation took place on the boat. You see, when I waswith Hartman in May, he took the lead; but in my own house, or on theway to it, I like to be cock of the walk. Besides, as I had prepared thewomen for his coming, so now it was necessary to prepare his mind tomeet them. In my picture of our domestic felicity, I may have laid onsome tints too heavily, as about our mutual confidence. But he will soonsee how that is. You may notice that I said nothing about the Princess. There was a deep design in that omission. When the orb of day in all hisglory bursts from his liquid bed upon the astonished gaze of some lonelywanderer on the Andes, or the Alps, --or our own Rockies, say, --thespectacle is all the more effective if the wanderer was not expectinganything of the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or, still better, didn't know there was any sun. That is the way Jim will feel when hesees Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting to go up there inthe woods in May, O. K. ; that will meet her views, and he'll be remindedof her existence soon enough. 

This is one of those delicate ideas which might not occur to the malemind unassisted: in fact, left to my native nothingness, I shouldprobably have enlarged on her charms most of the evening. But she laidspecial stress on this point, that I was to say as little as possibleabout her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered it. Hartman thinks heis going to have a safe and easy time with me and two highly respectableladies of sedate minds and settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James, while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream of the forest and the troutbrooks, and your neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By to-morrow nightyour mental horizon will be enlarged, and when you return to your castlein the wilderness there will be some new sensations tugging at yourvitals. It will be a change for you, old man, and you needed one. Well, I've given you enough to think of for now, and you'll get more beforeyou are a week older. I hope he will come through it right: it is liketaking one's friend to the surgeon to undergo an operation, when hedoesn't know that anything ails him or is going to be done. Poor oldJim, I wouldn't have put up such a job on you if I didn't believe it wasfor your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I believe in God and thePrincess. 

VIII. 

INTRODUCTION. 

The drive from the wharf is too long: I often think that the older partof the town ought to be submerged, or removed to one of the adjacentislands. We met the family at breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you seebefore you a wild man of the woods, brought hither to be subdued andcivilized by your gentle ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was acorner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen thousand, and Simpkins wentunder; so you can have that new gown now. " They paid no attentionwhatever to these pleasantries. Clarice was not there, or the sparklingfount of humor would have flowed less freely. 

Hartman has very good manners when he chooses, and in my house he wouldnaturally choose; so he got on well enough. The children took to him atonce, and he seemed to take to them. After breakfast I led him out for awalk, to show him the points of interest. Several very creditablecottages have been put up since he was here last: in fact, this is quitea growing place, for the country. As we went back he suddenly said, "Bob, who is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at the table? Fancyname, isn't it?"

"O no, " I said as indifferently as I could. He ought not to go springingher on me in that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's an orphan; a sortof cousin of Mrs. T. Got no brothers or sisters, and all that sort ofthing; so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes she's with us, sometimes she's not. Was south all winter: got back while I was up therewith you. "

Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll brush up his rusty mentalmachinery, and help him to recall what she wants forgotten. Just so; ofcourse. 

"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining you with Miss Jane. I wish youhad let them come. "

"Well, you see, you don't know what these girls are used to; I do. Therewere no fit quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone and written my wifea lot of rot, pretending his place was much better than it is. "

"With your usual unassuming virtue and cheerful candor; yes. We have nosecrets from one another: the limpid stream of confidence flowsunchecked and unpolluted. Just so. But see here, you old hypocrite, ifthere is another young woman in the family, you ought to have told meabout her last night, when you were preparing my mind, you know, andpretending to explain the whole domestic situation. --Great heavens, who's that?"

We had turned a corner, and come plump on the house; and there on thepiazza, two rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden, playing cat'scradle with my eldest son and heir. I can't tell you how she wasdressed; but she was a phantom of delight when thus she broke upon oursight; a lovely apparition, sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. Atleast so it seemed, for he stood there and stared like a noble savage. As when the lightning descends on the giant oak in its primevalsolitude--but I must stop this; she is too near, though she pretends notto see us yet. So I whispered in low and warning tones:

"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you met here twelve years ago, whojilted you at Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth Reader then. Don't get them mixed, or be deceived by a chance resemblance. " I thoughtit was better to lay his embarrassment on that old affair, you see. Butthat was all nonsense: he never saw anybody like Clarice before--howshould he?

"Confound you, Bob, " he muttered between his teeth, "so you've beenpractising your openhearted innocence on me. Get on with it now, andfinish it up. "

He pulled himself together, and I went through the introduction with duedecorum; then I got away as soon as I could. You see, I was unmanned bythe spectacle of so much young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by my ownrecent exertions. I found a cool corner in the library; and presentlyJane had to come in. "What is the matter with you, Robert? Why do yousit there grinning like an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence hadoverspread my striking countenance; and that's the way she distorts it. I could not tell her what pleased me, so I said I had been reading acomic paper. "You write your own comic papers, I suspect; and bad enoughthey are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by editing the _TexasSiftings_. Do try to be decent, brother, while you have a guest in thehouse. " I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke, now. I said Iwould try, and told her she had better join Clarice and Hartman, whowould probably be tired of each other by this time. Here again I haveplayed into the Princess' hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much ofher at first, but to get used to the blinding glare by degrees, and takehis physic in small doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least Ihope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled the procession, I'll learnit soon enough. But Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's thegood of being a woman. You don't catch me interrupting them, or goingnear the Princess when she has any of her procedures on foot, unless Iam called. 

IX. 

AT NEWPORT. 

I could not tell you all that occurred that week; but it went exactly asClarice intended and had foretold. She was gracious and equable andgentle, a model young lady of the social-domestic type; but Hartman didnot see much of her. I on my part was kept steadily occupied, what withboats, and horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools, and wide hats, andmore things than you could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on thecliffs, " or "Robert, get my garden gloves, please; they are in thesitting-room, or somewhere else;" or "Robert, take me to town; I musttelegraph to Constance;" or "Bob dear, would you mind running over toMiss Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the Society thisafternoon; and on your way back, stop at the milliner's and see if myhat is done. " I usually attended to these commissions promptly; when youhave women about, your generous heart will rejoice to protect andindulge their helplessness. They are the clinging vine, you are thesturdy oak; and then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman at firstshowed an inclination to relieve me of the lighter part of these usefulavocations, such as taking her about over the rocks and in the bay; butshe very quietly, and without the least discourtesy, made him understandthat no foreigners need apply for that situation. Other men were comingafter her every day, but she avoided them or sent them to the rightabout: she can do that in a way to make you feel that you have receiveda favor. She kept reminding me that it was my business to wait on her:if these things were paid for in cash, I should want high wages, forthe duties are far from light. But I can stand it: within the bosom ofRobert T. Glows a spark of warm and pure philanthropy. When I see myfellow-creatures in need, and this good right arm refuses to extend itsfriendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof of my mouth--O well, youknow what I mean. I used to retire to my meagre and philosophiccot-bedstead with aching limbs and an approving conscience: I never wasworked so hard before. Some of these errands were perfectly needless, Iknew. She can't want to get me out of the way for an hour or two, for Iam never _in_ the way; nor simply to show what she can do, for that isan old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless she has some highmoral end in view; perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true relationsof man and woman, and how the nobler animal can be trained to be ahelpmeet and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether this will suit hisviews I doubt; but she knows what she is about. It is mine not toquestion why, mine not to make reply, mine simply to go on doing what myhand finds to do--of which there is quite enough at present. Meanwhile, everybody else is having a nice easy time, while I am laboring like sixdray-horses for the general good. Hartman sits about with Jane, and theyseem to be getting on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his society. Sometimes she looks at me and at Clarice, and then at Jim, in a waywhich might indicate a notion that things are too much mixed, and thatthe Princess ought to be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I thinkso too, but it is not for me to suggest it. I feel like asking Mrs. T. What all these complications mean, and why she does not straighten themout: she is Clarice's relative and hostess, and head of the house when Iam away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon now, and a new tanglewill begin for the predestined victim. Wild man of the woods, your hourwill soon strike, and the grim executioner in the black mask willprepare to take your head off. You will see a hand not clearly visibleto the outside world--a very beautiful hand it is too, as I ought toknow--that will beckon you to your doom: you will hear a voice whosesilvery music will drown all fears, all scruples, all world-sicklongings for your woman-hating moods, all memories of your lost Lenoreof long ago, and tell you that resistance and delay are vain. What thedetails of the process may be, and whether joy or woe will tip thescales for one who takes things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell;but it is coming, and it is coming presently. You may not like it: youare not used to it as I am; but you cannot help yourself. Farewell tothe old life, the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge: you willfind yourself a small boy in primary school, beginning the world anew. You think you are locked up in steel, defended by your indifference, your disgust, your unbelief in Life. These glittering generalities willfall into dust before the wand of a magician who has some eminentlyparticular business with you. You have sounded the depths, and foundthem shallow; you have tested values, and they are less than nothing, and vanity; you have emptied the pincushion, and only bran is there. Myskeptical friend, a sharp needle is there yet, and it will prick yourfinger: there are depths that you know nothing about, and heights too, it may be: there are thrills of life that will go through all yourveins, and show you that you are not as near dead as you supposed. Youwere but a boy when that girl gave you your quietus, as you imagined;you are a man now, with more in you than you fancy, and another girl maybring you to life. Still in your ashes live their ancient fires, and I'mmistaken if they don't start a superior blaze before long. Well, well, I hope it will make a man of you. 

X. 

ON THE CLIFFS. 

I was betrayed into the above apostrophe by the violence of mysympathies; but the lucid and graphic sentences which precede thismoralizing ably sum up the situation during the first week of Hartman'svisit. A good deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said some thingsmyself which deserve to be remembered, and the others occasionally dropta remark which showed how the ball was moving. You will want the chiefof these outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in this history. 

Clarice took me apart the first day and began to cross-examine me: thatis, she told me to go outside and wait for her, and by the time she cameit was dusk. Why is it that the garish day seems to freeze our fineremotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level of a dull coldpracticality? It is under the calm light of moon and stars that soulspeaks to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences, those deeperviews of our own nature and that of our nearest and dearest, which sofar transcend the plodding sciences of the laboratory, the uselesslearning of the pedant, and the empty wisdom of the children of thisworld. 

"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning there like a calf. Make yourreport. "

"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from a train of thought whichmight have borne rich fruit for coming generations. "What about?"

"What about? You forget yourself. Whose employ are you in?"

"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be carrying on business formyself, and at home I am the envied husband and father of a happy andadmiring family. Clarice, I was meditating on subjects of much moment;and the duties of hospitality claim my valuable time. Did you wish tospeak to me particularly?"

"None of your nonsense, now. What did you talk about last night on theboat?"

"All sorts of things. My conversation is always improving. I explainedto Jim that his reëntrance on society could not be made under fairerauspices; that models of deportment and of all the virtues would beabout him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere of love and peacepervaded this modest mansion; that joy was unconfined; that we could layour weary heads on each other's bosoms in the repose of perfect trust, knowing that not a thought entered any one of them which the angelsabove might not look into with satisfaction, and--"

"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert: it is not in good taste. Whatdid you say about me?"

"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right? Didn't you tell me to keepdark, and not mention you?"

"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"

"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess, don't be offended; therewas next to nothing to forget, you know. It's not as if he had ever seenyou, or really heard anything about you. O, I'll talk you up to himwhenever you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought his forgettingwas what you wanted. Didn't I manage it well? Do own that now, please. Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle light upon the path of aweary wayfarer--yes, that's better. Have I merited your approval, SereneHighness?"

"You've done very well--for you. But was it necessary to tell so manylies, Bob?"

"Now _that_ is not in good taste, if I am a judge--to put such uglynames upon the graceful fancies with which I decorate the plain, rudefacts of everyday life. What are we without Imagination, that gloriousgift which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom like your littleflower-bed in the back yard at home? You know, Clarice, that my mind isa deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely the bucket that draws itup. Where will you get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls, ifnot from me?"

"Robert, you have fallen into this way of practising your little tricksand deceptions on everybody. O, I know you mean no harm; it is merelyfor your own amusement. But Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it. "

"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice? Some people have no sense ofhumor. I can't well go around saying, This is a joke; please take it inthe spirit in which it is offered. "

"O, it does no great harm: they are very seldom deceived, and perhapsthey will learn to make allowances for you by and by. But you may betempted to try your games on me: if I ever catch you at that--Remember, I am not to be trifled with. "

"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff base who would harbor it. Princess, you are sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool enough totry any tricks on you, when I should be found out at once?"

"People generally find you out at once, but that doesn't seem to stopyou. How can I tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe you knowyourself when you are serious--if you ever are. "

"There is one subject on which I am serious--deeply so, and always. Clarice, when I die, if you will see that the autopsy is properlyperformed, you will find your initials, as the poet says, neatlyengraven on my blighted heart. "

"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient softening of the brain. "

"And if I have, is not that a reason why I should be watched and guardedtenderly--why loving arms should enfold my tottering frame, and sweetsmiles cheer my declining path, and a strong firm brain like yourssupport my failing intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am an orphanlike yourself; soon, if you read the future aright, to be laid beneaththe cold clods of the valley. When I am sleeping under the daisies inthe lonely churchyard, you will say to yourself, He was my friend, mymore than brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious devotion. And then, in those sad hours of vain remembrance, every unkind word thatyou have spoken, all the coldness and cruelty which have pierced mypatient breast, will return to torture yours. Be warned in time, Clarice, and make it easy for me while you have the chance. "

"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking a subject you areafraid of. When you go off like this, I know you are hiding somethingfrom me. What is it this time?"

I saw things were getting serious. She was bound to get it out of me, and I might as well give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw myselfon your mercy. Strike, but hear me. It won't pay you to be cross now, for you've got to be with me till you conclude to take Hartman up; wecan't be quarrelling all the time, you know. He asked me about you thismorning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast. I put him off with generalremarks about your being down south last winter, and the like of that;then suddenly my brain slipped--it _is_ softening, you see--and I saidyou had come back when I was in the woods with him. That started him, and he recalled your notion of going up there. "

"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself? What did he say?"

"Merely that he wished I had let you and Jane come. He likes Jane. Uponmy honor now, he had no suspicion of anything. "

"You goose, how often have I told you there was nothing to suspect? Butmen are so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are you trying toconceal?"

"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained it all right, and he wascommencing to berate me for not preparing him to meet you as well as theothers, when we suddenly came on you, and you struck him deaf and dumband blind. He swore at me under his breath just before I introducedhim. " Here my feelings overcame me again. 

"Well, there's no harm done. But you really must be more careful, Bob. Try and make your poor mind work better while it lasts; don't forget myinstructions again, and when you have made a blunder, tell me at once. You are so light, so devoted to your frivolous amusements; you seem tobe drifting into second childhood, thirty years too soon. If you had anobject, now, a serious purpose in life: if you really cared foranything--even for me!"

She cuts me when she talks like that. "Clarice, my regard for you is soundemonstrative that you fail to appreciate its depth. If I were to makea fuss over it, now, and use a lot of endearing epithets and bigprofessions, perhaps you would believe me. Some time you will knowwhether I care for you or not; whether I've got anything in me, and amcapable of acting like a man. You wait and see. But I wish I knew whatyou are going to do with poor Jim. "

"Some time you will know: you wait and see. You can go and comfort himnow. Good night, poor Bob. "

XI. 

EXPLANATIONS. 

I went and comforted him. "Well, old man, " I said with a cheerful air, "how do you get on?"

"Robert, " said he, "do you suppose I would have come here if I had knownwhat an atrocious humbug you are? Do you imagine for a moment that myrelatives, if I had any, would have subjected my innocence to suchinsidious guardianship? Have you brought me here to destroy my faith, and pollute my morals, and poison my young life with the spectacle ofyour turpitude?"

"You're improving already, Jim. When I saw you last you hadn't anyfaith, nor much morals; your youth was away back in the past, and yourstrength was dried up like railroad doughnuts; you were ready to fallwith the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you are here, you can staytill you see how you like us. What do you think of Clarice?"

"She has given me no basis on which to think of her, beyond her looks;they rather take one's breath away. You beast, what do you mean byspringing a face like that on me without warning, after all yourhumbugging talk last night, pretending to post me on every one I was tomeet? And I say, do you always stand guard over her when anybody comesnear?"

"Well, you see, you were so overcome by the first sight of her thismorning, that it seemed no more than fair to let you recover yourbreath, as you say, and get used to her by degrees. But, James, this isunseemly levity on your part. What have we to do with girls? Let usleave them to the baser spirits who have use for them. The world's abubble, and the life of man of no account at all. We have tried it, andit is empty; hark, it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we hate ye. Ye tinsel gauds, ye base embroideries, ye female fripperies, have butour scorn. What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets, and rosy lips, and jewelled fingers, to minds like ours? Let us go off to the Nitriandesert, Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing routine. "

"You must have been reading up lately, my boy. I left all that in thewoods, Bob, and came down here in good faith for a change of air, prepared to learn anything you might have to teach me. If you've got anymore traps and masked batteries, let them loose on me; practice on me toyour heart's content. You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm here togive you a chance: a fine old apostle you are. But I don't quiteunderstand Miss Elliston's position here, Bob. "

"Her position here, or anywhere else, is that she does about as shepleases, and makes everybody else do it too, as you will see before yourhair is gray, my learned friend. As I may have told you, we are hernearest relatives: she is an orphan. "

"Parents been dead long?"

"About seventeen years. What's that got to do with it?"

"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do you think I'm trying to playsome trick on you, after your model? How should I, a helpless strangerin a strange land, betrayed by the friend in whom I trusted? I'm anorphan myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a measure dependent onyour kindness?"

"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation, or anything of that sort. She's got more cash than she wants, and loads of friends: had twentyinvitations for the summer. If you don't behave to suit her, she'sliable to go off any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the Yosemite, orKamtchatka. "

"Very good of her, to stay here with you, then. "

"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so is Jane, and the children ofcourse. Her parents and mine were close friends in the country--where Icame from, you know. She and I were brought up together; that is, shewas--I was mostly brought up before her appearance on this mundanesphere. We used to play in the haymow, and fall from the apple treestogether, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a sister to me--a prettygood sister too, all things considered. "

"And you are quite a brother to her, as I see. Strange, that it neveroccurred to mention her, when you were describing the various members ofyour family. Does her mind match her personal attractions?"

"She's got as good a head as you have, old man, or any other malespecimen I've struck. I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O, hangthat; I don't either. This is no subject for profane jesting. Talk aboutthe inferiority of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers had onelike her at home, they'd change their tune. But there are no more likeher. "

"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every virtue under heaven. Beautiful, brilliant, accomplished, amiable; you are a happy man to have such anannex to your household--even if she wasn't worth naming at the start. "

"Amiable--who said she was amiable? Leave that to commonplace women andplain everyday fellows like me. You can't expect that of her sort, Jim. She can be very nice when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart; it hasnever waked up yet. When it does, it will be a big one. We don't expectthe plebeian virtues of her. "

"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it might be better to go away, and stay away. You ought not to keep dangerous compounds about thehouse, Bob. "

"She won't explode--though others may. A conscience? I think so. Shecouldn't do a mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has more sense ofjustice than most women. But you can't apply ordinary rules to her. Sheis of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her. Can't you see, Jim?You are man enough to take her measure, so far as any one can. "

"I see her outside; it is worth coming here to see, if I were an artistor an æsthete. She has deigned to show me no more as yet. "

"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that, as you will see in time. There is but one Clarice. "

"Bob, you are different from last night. I believe you are telling thetruth now. "

"She sobers you. When you have been with her, when you think of her, itis as if you were in church--only a good deal more so. "

"Very convenient and edifying, to have such a private chapel in one'shouse. Bob, in this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing: why did younever mention her to me?"

"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to strangers. "

"And now the prohibition is removed?"

"You are not a stranger now. She knows you, and you have seen her. "

"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate such fidelity?"

"We are very good friends. From childhood we have been more togetherthan most brothers and sisters. More or less, I have always been to heras I am now. She is used to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don'tfancy that I am in her confidence, or any one: she has a royal reserve. See here, Jim; I am making you one of the family. "

"I understand. I must ask you one thing: why did you bring me here, toexpose me to all this?"

"You needed a change, Jim, as you half owned just now; almost any changewould be for the better. I wanted you to see the world again: there isin it nothing fairer or richer than Clarice. "

"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet you say she's not. "

"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's far from it: you and I are notsaint-worshippers. But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attentionand her latent force were turned that way. She can be anything, or doanything. She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her time, and I waitwith her. Her wings will sprout some day. I like her well enough as sheis. "

"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that you are talking very freely?"

"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would say all this to any chancecomer? You opened your soul to me in May, as far as you knew it: you arewelcome to see into mine now. "

"There is a difference. I cared for nothing, and believed in nothing; somy soul was worth little. Yours is that of a prosperous and happy man. "

"Externals are not the measure of the soul, Jim, nor yet creeds. I knowa gentleman when I see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its foodyet, and assume its full stature; you've been trying to starve itpartly, that's all. "

"Do you talk this way to your Princess, Bob?"

"No. She is younger than we: why should I bore her? You and I are onequal terms: she and I are not. "

"This humility is very chivalric, but I don't quite understand it inyou, Bob. "

"You can't: you've been so long unused to women, and you never knew onelike her. If you had, it would have been too early; what does a boy oftwenty know of himself, or of the girls he thinks he is in love with, orof the true relations that should exist between him and them? Call itquixotic if you like; I don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, anyspiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote. When you come to knowClarice, you will understand. "

"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men, Bob?"

"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend on the opinions one chancesto hold, but on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and on theinherent nature of his soul. We are not worshippers of mammon, orfashion, or any of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world, and youout of it; but that makes little difference. You were in danger ofbecoming a dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for that. We bothlive to learn, and we can spend ourselves on an adequate object when wefind it. "

"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she doesn't know you as I do. "

"No human being knows another exactly as a third does. We strike fire atdifferent points--when we do at all, which is seldom--and show differentsides of ourselves to such few as can see at all. She does not careespecially for me: why should she? But she has great penetration--morethan you have, far more than I. She sees my follies and faults as youdon't; she is a sort of a confessor. At present she is a Sunday-schoolteacher, and I am her class. "

"What _do_ you talk of, all the time?"

"It's not all the time, by any means. That is as she pleases; just nowit may be a good deal. By and by it may be your turn: then you'll knowsome things you don't now. There is nothing I say to her which the worldmight not overhear, if the world could understand it; and nothing that Ican repeat. Jim, I am done: we are up very late. "

"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old man. You would stand by thisgirl against the world; and yet you have charged yourself with me. Itmay be idle to formulate remote and improbable contingencies, but it isin our line. Would you take her part against me, and be my enemy--youwho are my only friend?"

"I would stand by her against the world, assuredly. I would stand by youagainst all the world but her, I think. You two might quarrel, butneither of you would be wrong: I know you both, and you don't know eachother. So I take the risk; it is none. When that time comes, neither ofyou will find me wanting. "

"I believe it. The other thing is this--forgive me if I go too far. Doyou know what even intelligent and charitable people would say of allthis? That it was very queer, very mixed, very dubious. "

"They are not our judges, nor we theirs. What would they say of yourtheories, and your way of life? To be sure, these concern yourselfalone. So is this inwardly my affair; it binds, it holds no other. Musta man live in the woods, to form his own ethical code? Here too one maykeep clean hands and a pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is veryqueer, very mixed, very dubious; I take it as it comes. O, I see truthhere and there in your notions of it, though it has done well by me. IfI find in it something unique and precious, shall I thrust that aside, because the statutes have not provided for such a case? But one thing Ican reject, so that for me it is not: the baser element. Grossselfishness and vulgar passions are no more in my scheme than in yours:if their suggestions were to rise, it would be easy to disown them. Thehuman beasts who let their lower nature rule, the animals who care forthemselves and call it caring for another, are not of our society. Oyes, in common things one must get and keep his own--the body must haveits food; but one's private temple is kept for worship, and owns adifferent law. It is not always, nor often, that one can build hisshrine on earth, and enter it every day: when a man has that exceptionalprivilege, he must and may keep his standards high enough to fit. Youunderstand?"

"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in theory, but supposed it endedthere. And your Princess, you think is of our society?"

"No root of nobleness is lacking in her; when the season comes, theplants will spring and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect tounderstand her fully; she is of finer clay than we. "

"One thing more, and then I will let you go. There is more of you than Ithought, my boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but one who heard you inthe woods would have set you down just for a kindly, practical man ofthe world. Last night, and most of the time to-day, you were thetrifler, the incorrigible jester. Why do you belie yourself so and hideyour inmost self from all but me?"

"Because I've got to convert you, old man. It is a poor instrument thathas but a single string; and David's harp of solemn sound would bore meas much as it would other folks, if I tried to play on it all the time. How many people would sit out this talk of ours, or read it if we put itin print? Taken all in all, the light fantastic measure suits me muchbetter. To see all sides, we must take all tones. The varying moodswithin fit the varying facts without; to get at truth we must give eachits turn. But in the main it is best to take Life lightly. Your errorwas that you were too serious about it: it's not worth that. Most thingsare chiefly fit to laugh at. The highgrand style will do once in a way:we've worked it too hard now. Let's come down to earth. I wanted to showyou that I could do the legitimate drama as well as you, and yet wear atall hat and dress for dinner. See?"

"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate between yourseriousness and your farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to takethem as they are mixed for us. You may be right in that; I'll think itover. Yes, I can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and that I usedto. Well, my lad, you are a queer professor of ethics; but I'm not sureyou've brought me to the wrong school. "

XII. 

AWAKENING. 

The next day Clarice took me off as usual. "Well, have you made any moreblunders?"

"Not one. You have nothing to reproach me with this time, Czarina. "

"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late. What were you talking about solong?"

"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful, and to come to time wheneveryou want him. I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you were theSleeping Beauty in the Enchanted Palace; the hour and the man hadn'tarrived. You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest of it. "

"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"

"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I should rate you so to others?He may tell you every word I said, when you begin to turn him insideout; there was none of it that you or I need be ashamed of. He knows, both by his own observation and from my clear and impressive narrative, that you are remote and inaccessible--the edelweiss growing high up inits solitude, where only the daring and the elect can find its haunt. "

"That is very neat. Did it take you three hours to tell him that? Iheard you come in as it struck two. "

"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess: we will take our boots offoutside, next time. Naturally you were the most important topic we coulddiscuss; but I also explained his advantages in being thrown so muchinto my own society. O, he is getting on. He said--"

"I don't want to know what he said. The man is here, and I can see--andhear, when I choose--for myself. Do you think I would tempt you toviolate what might be a confidence, Robert?"

"But if I repeat to you what I said, why not what he said?--except thathis observations would not be so powerful and suggestive as mine, ofcourse. Otherwise I don't see the difference. "

"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference is that you belong to me, andhe doesn't--as yet. "

I can't tell you how she says these things. If I could put on paper thetone, the toss of that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes andlips, that go with what you might call these little audacities, then youwould know how they not only accent and punctuate the text, but supplywhole commentaries on it. If you get a notion that the Princess iscapable of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the faults of her sexor of ours, you are away off the track, and my engineering must havegone wrong. But I must stop this and get back to my report. 

"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got off a lot of wisdom for Jim'sbenefit. You wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles of humannature, and rules for the conduct of life, and such. It did him no endof good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to you that way, youcouldn't know me as well as he does. "

"He must know you remarkably well then. Just like a man's conceit. PoorBob, who should know you through and through if I don't?--Why don't youtalk to me that way then, and improve me too?"

"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked her if she understood thesermon, Wad I hae the presumption? When you catch me taking on airs andtrying to improve you, make a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; thelecturing and improving between us had better remain where they are. "

"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have you vary this continualincense-burning with snatches of something else. "

"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes I think I am an awful foolabout you. "

"That is what the doctors call a congenital infirmity, my dear. No uselamenting over what you can't help. Worship me as much as you like; itkeeps you out of mischief. But you might change the tune now and then, and give me some of your alleged wisdom. "

"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful brow with metaphysic fumes?Should I soil your dainty muslins with the antique dust of folios, andoil from the midnight lamp? You wait till you take up Hartman; perhapsyou can stand it from him. But if I were to hold forth to you in thestyle he prefers, you would get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let itsuffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe studies and profoundmeditations, the fruit whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundaboutway, may make smooth and safe the path that is traversed by your fairyfeet. In the expressive language of the poet, Be happy; tend thyflowers; be tended by my blessing. "

"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob; they are spent on cigars, andmaking up jokes to use next morning. But you are not as bad as usualto-day. Do you know, I like you better when you are comparativelyserious. "

"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It is the solemnizing influence ofbeing so much with you. If you keep it up for another week, you'll haveto send me off to New York to get secularized. I say, Clarice, how longdo you mean to go on in this way? It's all very nice for me, but howabout Hartman? _He's_ not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest. What do you propose to do with him after you've got him--I should say, after the fatal dart has transfixed his manly form, and he falls piercedand bleeding at your feet?"

"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty little tale. Once upon a timethere was a friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me, and of whom Ithought more than he knew, poor man--enough to make you jealous, Bob. "--Now who the devil was that, confound him? I never heard of himbefore. It must have been that winter she spent in Boston, just aftershe came out. That's over five years ago; he's probably dead or marriedbefore this. Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not that I seemuch prettiness about it. --"And when I would tease him to tell me somesecret, he would answer, in his own well-chosen language. Some day youwill know: you wait and see. By-by, baby!"--and away she dashed. 

My tongue went too fast last night. Her heart _is_ waking; her wings aresprouting. She must be getting interested in Jim. The hour is at hand, and the man: the horn at the castle-gate will soon be sounded, andpresto! the transformation scene. That will be a spectacle for gods andmen, now; but no tickets will be sold at the doors--admittance only byprivate card, and that to a very select few. I don't want any change inyou, Princess; but I suppose the angels would like to see the depths inyou that you haven't sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of your soulopened to the light. God grant that light may need no darkness to comebefore it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If the change is foryour happiness, no matter about us. You are moving toward a land where Icannot follow you; a land of mystery and wonder and awakening, of newbeauties and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown andinfinite--a journey wherein you can have no guide but your own pureinstincts, no adviser but your own untried heart. God be with you, forJane and Mabel can do no more than I. We shall hear no word from youtill all be over, and then the Clarice of old will return to us no more. Transfigured she may be and beatified, but not the one we knew and lovedso long. Little sister, all these years I have been at your side orready at your call, and now you will not call and I cannot come to helpyou; for in these matters the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and astranger doth not intermeddle with its joy. May it be joy and not theother! God be with them both, for it is a dangerous country where theyare going; a region of mists and pitfalls and morasses, where closestfriends may be rudely severed, and those whom Heaven hath joined be putasunder by their own most innocent errors--and the finest spirits runthe heaviest risk. Ah well, if I were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein, maybe things would be better managed in my dominions. 

XIII. 

DOMESTIC CRITICISMS. 

Hartman has made a first-rate impression here. It would please you tosee this stern ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity, with twotoddlers on his lap, and Herbert at his knee, all listening open-mouthedto tales of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The boy thinks that onewho lives in the woods must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears andwildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling way, insists that I put him up tothis. But though I am a family man--and you could not easily find onemore exemplary--I do not propose to drag the nursery into the cold glareof public comment, or favor you with a chapter on the Management ofChildren. 

I would like to know why it is that women are so ready to take up withany chance stranger who comes along, when they cannot see the truegreatness of their own nearest and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman aperfect gentleman and a safe companion for me; as if it were I, not he, that needed looking after. Jane seems to regard him as the rock whichwithstands the tempest, the oak round which the vine may safely cling, and that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow yet, and he has astalwart kind of bearing, adapted to deceive persons who do not know himas well as I do. They would almost side with him against Clarice--butnot quite: in their hearts, they think her perfect. 

One evening we were all together in the parlor. The Princess had gonesomewhere with one of her numerous adorers, whom she had failed to bluffoff as she generally does: the young man was going to cast himself intothe sea, I believe, and I told her she had better let him and be donewith it, but she said he had a widowed mother and several sisters, andought to live long enough to leave them comfortably provided for; so Ilet her go. I was trying to direct the conversation into improvingchannels, but the frivolous female mind is too much for me. 

"Mr. Hartman, " Jane began, "we rely on you to exercise a good influenceupon Robert. He is so light-minded, and so deceitful. "

"Yes, " Mabel added; "no one can restrain him but Clarice, and shecannot spend her whole time upon him, she has so much else to do. "

"See here, " said I; "this is a put-up job: I will have you all indictedfor conspiracy. Have you no proper respect for the head of the house?"

"We would like to, " my spouse replied: "we make every effort: but it isso difficult! Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little matter, particularly those which pertain exclusively to women, and which hecannot understand at all. "

"Yes, " said Jane; "would you believe it, Mr. Hartman, he attempted toinstruct us as to the proper manner of receiving you! But that is notthe worst of it. He is utterly unable to keep a secret--not that any onewould entrust him with secrets of the least importance, of course. Andwhen he thinks he knows something that we do not know, he goes aboutlooking so solemn that even Herbert can detect him at once. And in suchcases he actually comes to us, and questions us about the matter, with aview to throwing us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls it. Didyou ever hear of such absurdity?"

"Ladies and gentleman, " I said with dignity, "would you mind excusing mefor a few moments? I would like to retire to the rocks outside, andswear a bit. "

"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed of you. What will Mr. Hartmanthink of your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a very correct youngman. 

"O, I know him of old, " he said. "Never mind, Bob, I will stand by you. Really, you are a little hard on him. He has improved; I assure you hehas. Why, he was quite a cub at college. Your softening influences havedone a great deal for him; everything, in fact. "

"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman, and very polite, andvery loyal; but I know Robert. Clarice does him a little good: she woulddo very much more, if he were not so stiff-necked. He thinks he is aman, and we are only women. "

"Well, " I asked, "are you going to dispute that proposition? If so, Iwill leave Hartman to argue it out with you. "

"Mr. Hartman, " said Jane, "he thinks he knows everything, and women areinferior creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"

"This is getting monotonous, " I remarked. "Suppose, for a change, weabuse Clarice, as she is not here; that will be pleasanter all round, and less unconventional. Now that girl does a great deal of harm, turning the heads of so many foolish young men. She spends more on herdress than you and I do together, Hartman. What an aim in life for arational being! Simply to look pretty, and produce an occasional pieceof perfectly idle and useless embroidery: tidies even, now andthen--just think of it! Of all the--"

My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of it, for I really did not knowwhat to say next. 

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert. To speak in that way of mycousin, and your own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of it, Mr. Hartman. She is sweet girl, though reserved with strangers: I am sorryyou have seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted, dear, sweet, lovely girl; she is, and you know it, Robert. " Well, perhaps Ido; but there is no need of my saying so just now. Jane has to put inher oar again, of course. 

"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample of his hypocrisy. He thinks ashighly of Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her; and yet hepretends to criticize her, just to draw away attention from his ownshortcomings. "

"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on discussing the presentcompany, if you insist. We'll take them up one by one: I've had myturn, and my native modesty shrinks from further praise. You see Mrs. T. , Hartman? She sits there looking so calm and placid, like a mother inIsrael; you would think her a model spouse. Yet no one knows what Isuffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten minutes last May when henoticed my premature baldness, and general fagged-out and jaded look;and to hide the secrets of my prison-house, I had to pretend that I hadbeen working too hard in Water Street. You all know how painfuldeception is to my candid nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel. When did I ever return aught but good for evil? Yet O, the curtainlectures, the manifold ways in which the iron has entered into my soul!But we brought Hartman here to reconcile him to civilized and domesticlife, and I will say no more. Now there is Jane. She naturally puts herbest foot foremost in company; you think she is all she seems: but Icould a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity: I won't do it. She is mysister, and with all her faults I love her still. Well, if you are tiredyou'd better go to bed: Hartman wants to smoke. "

XIV. 

OVER TWO CIGARS. 

When we got out under the pure breezes of heaven, Hartman turned to meand said, "So you call this reconciling me to domestic life, do you?"

"Well, I want you to see things as they are. They are not as bad as yourfancy used to paint them, or as a duller man might suppose from recentappearances. Women haven't our sense of humor, Jim: their humbleefforts at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or flat--generally both;but they mean no harm. "

"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct my ignorance are highlysuccessful. All this is as good as a play. You see you are found out, old humbug; everybody sees through you. You can't delude any of us anymore. "

"I don't quite see what you're driving at, my christian friend; but I'mglad you like us, and I hope you'll like us better before you are donewith us. " When he talks like this, I am content to see the hand of Fatesnatch at his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on, ungrateful mocker:retribution will soon overtake you in your mad career. Where then willbe your gibes, your quips, your quiddities? You'll want my sympathy byand by, and I'll see about giving it. 

"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob. Perhaps you are building me upbetter than you know. Your struggles with your womankind give a flavorto what I used to suppose must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfiedwith each other, or you wouldn't pretend to quarrel so. What I saw ofyou before did something toward reconciling me to human nature at large, and your quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse set off your realcharacter. You might take in outsiders, but not me. "

"This is too much, my friend--a blanked sight too much. Crushed to earthby such unmerited compliments, I can only repeat my gratification thatwe meet with your approval. You settle down, and you'll see how insipidit is: then you'll be making some quaint efforts at shrewdness andfinesse yourself. Invite me then, and I'll get even with you, old man. But I say, what did you mean about my being a cub at college?"

"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and ballet-dancers, and that sort ofthing. "

"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go bringing them up for? There wasonly one of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally old enough tobe my mothers. I was but a child, Jim--a guileless, merry, high-heartedboy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn. "

"You were that, and the shearing did you a lot of good. O, you can beeasy; I'll not bring up the sins of your youth. "

"They were no sins, only follies. I had my early Pendennis stage, ofcourse, and invested every woman I met with the hues of imagination. ButMabel and the girls might not understand that. "

"I don't think they would. Happily, it is not necessary they should tryto, since you have returned to the path of rectitude. Do you think youbelonged to Our Society in those days, Bob?"

"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me to develop into the ornamentof our species you behold at present. That's all a boy is good for, anyway. He thinks he's somebody, but he isn't. He doesn't amount toanything, except in the fond hopes of his anxious parents. He knowsnothing, and he can do nothing, except learn by his blunders; and someof 'em can't do that. But if he has any stuff in him, he grows andripens with time, as you and I did. What bosh, to put the prime of lifeat twenty-five. They ought to move it on a bit; about our age, now, aman ought to be at his best. "

"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious ass at twenty-five, and I'm notsure I'm any better now. "

"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But one must go on gettingexperience. You shut the door too soon and too tight, Jim. "

"When I had it open, such an infernal stench and dust came in, that itseemed best to close it. But it's open again now, partly, and this seemsa healthier and cleaner atmosphere. "

"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when you do, you won't seem to havebeen altogether wrong all these years. You've kept yourself unspottedfrom the world, more than most of us; and when you come to know a girllike Clarice, you'll want the most and best of you, to be fit for hersociety. If only one could get the general ripening without some of thedashed details of the process! She makes you wish you could have beenbrought up in a bandbox, if only you could have come out of it a man andnot a mollycoddle. "

"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are worthy to approach her, nodoubt. Apparently I am not. I'll have to be content with your account ofMiss Elliston's perfections, Robert. She seems to have no more use forme than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am doing very nicely, thanksto your sister. I doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She seesfurther into things than you do. She impresses me as a sound-heartedwoman, wise, kind, and gracious. "

"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O yes, such a superior person asshe is! But see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for. Jane is allvery well in her way, but----"

He turned on me suddenly. "What the deuce do you mean now?"

By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a corner. --You just wait andsee me get out of it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general analogy, ofcourse. I am not in the Princess's confidence, as I told you. I might beif any one were, but nobody can see into her mind further than shechooses to let them, and that is but a very little way. It would be afine sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of a--well, of an angelprobably; exceptionally delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, youknow. It's not her way to let a good thing go by unnoticed, and she isquite able to appreciate you. Your time is not up yet: you're likely tosee more of her before you go--at least, I should suppose so. "

"Well, I am here to see things, as you say, and I may as well seewhatever is to be shown me. I am in your hands, old man; make as good ajob of it as you can before you send me back to the woods. "

It is all very well for him to talk lightly on solemn subjects; he'llchange his tone by and by. I have prepared his mind now, as I preparedthe others before he came. Perhaps I ought to have done it sooner;perhaps the Princess has been waiting for that. She'll know, without mytelling her; she'll see it in his eye. --Nonsense, Robert T. ; your zealoutruns your discretion. What does she want of your help in a thing likethis? Anyway, he's ready to be operated on, and it seems about time shebegan to put in her work. 

XV. 

THE CATASTROPHE. 

This miscellaneous entertainment, as I have remarked, lasted for about aweek: then suddenly the situation changed. I can't tell you how it wasdone, though I was looking on all the time; but one evening I foundmyself with Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the Princess. We wereall ready to play to her lead, no doubt; but it would have made nodifference if it had been otherwise: when she ordains a thing, thatthing is done, and without her taking any pains about it either, so faras you can see. I think the predestined victim was pleased and flatteredto have the sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to speak; heought to have been, at any rate. 

"Jane, " I said, "what do you suppose Clarice is up to now?"

"Robert, " said she, "I thought I had given you a lesson about practisingyour absurd hypocrisies on me. Who should know what her plans are, ifnot you? If you really are not in her confidence--and it would not befar, certainly--surely you know Clarice well enough not to interfere. Let them alone, and keep quiet. " That is the way they always talk to me:I wish they would find something new to say. 

Things went on in this fashion for another week or more. It was all veryquiet: there was really nothing to see. What they talked about I don'tknow; when the rest of us were by, their conversation was not notable. Ican make more original and forcible remarks myself; in fact, I do, everyday. But I have no doubt she catechized and cross-examined him inprivate. It is not Hartman's way to air his theories before ladies, orto obtrude himself as a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when shecondescends to notice a man at all, likes to see a good deal furtherinto his soul than he ever gets to see into hers. That is all right inthis case; the doctor has to be acquainted with the symptoms before hecan cure the patient. When Hartman and I were together at the end of theevenings and at odd hours, he had very little to say: he seemed ratherpreöccupied and introspective. He is another of your plaguedly reservedpeople, who when they have anything on hand wrap it up in Egyptiandarkness and Cimmerian gloom. That is the correct thing in a woman--inClarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My soul, now, is as open asthe day, and when I have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I wouldwillingly stand on a house-top--if it were flat--and proclaim them forthe benefit of the world. Even my uncompleted processes of thought areat the service of any one who can appreciate them; but you can't expecteverybody to be like me. Most men are selfish, narrowly engrossed intheir small private concerns--no generous public spirit about them. Butthen Hartman is not used to this kind of thing, and I suppose it knocksthe wind out of him. 

One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery; it was just dark, butthere was a tidy young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a change, andso had gone to the most secluded place I could find, for if Mabel wereto hear of this, Hartman might not get reconciled to domestic life. Isat there, meditating on the uncertainty of human affairs: it would doyou more good than a little to know what thoughts passed through mymind, but there is no time to go into that. Suddenly two forms came insight. One was of manly dignity, the other of willowy grace. His frametowered like the noble oak on the hilltop, while hers--but we have hadthe oak and the vine before, and worked them for all they are worth. Perhaps I ought to have given you a more particular account of theappearance of these two young persons: but you don't care to know theirexact height and fighting weight, the color of their hair and eyes, andso forth; what you want is the stature and complexion of their souls. They were a handsome pair, and whene'er they took their walks and drivesabroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much attention. Just now there wasnobody but myself to admire them, and I was in ambush. They strolledabout in what there was of the moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and Isat still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I couldn't hear theirtalk, and didn't want to disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice:matters between them must have come to an interesting stage. "But, Clarice, if you care for me--"

He was too quick. The madness which urged him on can easily beunderstood and--except by the one concerned--pardoned; but what devilpossessed her, who shall say? She drew herself up with superb scorn. "You are beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care for you!' Whyshould I?"

"Very good, " he said at once. "I was mistaken. I beg your pardon mosthumbly. "

There was as little humility as possible in his look and tone. He stoodlike a gladiator--and not a wounded one either--with his head thrownback and his chest out. I could fancy, rather than see, the flashing ofhis eyes. 

The flashes were all on his side now; Clarice's brief exhibition offireworks seemed to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman, " shebegan, and could get no further. 

In the act to go, he turned and faced her again. 

"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless unpardonable; I shall notknow how to forgive myself. Do me the undeserved honor, if you can, toforget it--and me. I can only renew my apologies, and relieve you of mypresence. "

He bowed, and was gone. The proper thing for Clarice to do next was toswoon or shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything of thatsort. Nor did she tear her hair, or beat her breast, or offer to thesolitary spectator any performance worth noting. I thought it best tokeep remarkably quiet in my corner till she too had gone. In fact, Istaid there for an hour or two after, though I did not enjoy that pipeat all; the tobacco was not right, or something. You see, after all thelectures I had had, I did not want to spoil things by mixing myself upwith them; the situation looked picturesque enough without me in it. 

When I went back to the house I found that Jim had caught the boat andgone. "He came to me, " said Mabel, "and told me that he had overstaidhis time and found it best to go to-night. He was very friendly, but histone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance. His parting withJane was almost affectionate, and he left kind regards for you. But nota word for Clarice. "

"Great Jackson! what is the matter with them?" I often use what my wifeconsiders profane language when I have something to hide. 

It had its effect this time. "Robert, be quiet. It is all right. Whenthere is anything for you to know, you shall know it. "

She sometimes appears to mistake me for our eldest boy. But I was gladto get off with the secret. Yes, there is something to know, my lady, and I know it, though you don't. But I fear it is a long way from allright. 

XVI. 

FEMININE COUNSELS. 

After this there was general gloom about the place, and I preferred tospend much of the time in New York. But whenever I got there, thisconfounded business would drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobodydared question her, till one day at lunch Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, whydoesn't Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice, what have you done tohim?" He was promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze his infantveins with a stony stare, while Jane and I looked hard at our plates. But later that day I came upon Clarice and the child together: he waslocked in her arms, and begging her not to cry. They did not see me, andI retired in good order. 

Within a week came a short note from Jim: apologies for leaving withoutsaying good-bye to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards to my wifeand sister--and not a word of Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course. 

"Be very careful how you answer this now, Robert. "

"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you went off in such a hurry; butafter my performance in May I have no right to find fault. We all missyou, I think: the house has grown dull. Herbert continues to fall overthe banisters, and at intervals over the rocks: at all hours, butespecially when laid up for repairs, he howls for you and bear-stories. Our kindest regards. Keep us posted. ' That's about it, eh?"

"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and you can't mention Clarice;so you can say no more, and I don't like you to say any less. That isvery well--for you, Robert; though you need not be so unfeeling aboutyour own son. "

It is well occasionally to consult your womankind in such cases, because, though they may not know as much of the facts as you do, stillthey can sometimes give you an inner light on points you would not havethought of. Besides, it compliments and encourages them; whereas, if youappeared to pay no regard to their opinions, they would naturally feelneglected. A little judicious indirect flattery is of great use inmanaging one's household. So I put on my best air of injured innocence. 

"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the matter. Here my guestleaves my house suddenly, without a word of explanation. Herbert must beright: what has Clarice done to him?"

"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least I trust it will be, though it may not seem so now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time. Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions; leave the matter to those whounderstand it. "

Now does she mean herself and Jane by that, or only Clarice and Hartman?I wonder if she thinks that I think that she knows anything about it. If she did, I should catch some sign of it. I tried my sister. 

"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am in trouble. "

"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our own making--most of us. "

"Well then, what does all this secrecy mean? Has Clarice spoken to you?What does Mabel know?"

"She knows no more than you and I, brother. Something has happened: anyone may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not tell. I love andrespect her too much to ask: so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you. "

"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to have these things happeningin your own house, and such a mystery made of it. " I had to grumble tosomebody, you see, if only to keep up appearances and help hide myguilty secret; and then I _was_ bored, and worse, with the way thingshad gone. 

"You took that risk, Robert, when you brought them together here. Didyou expect that two such persons as they would agree easily and at once?I think they love each other, or were in a way to it when this occurred, whatever it was. "

"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can take care of herself, I suppose;but as for Hartman, he had load enough to carry before. I love that man, Jane. "

"So do I, Robert. "

"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came out before I could stop it. It didnot please her. 

"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will you never learn a decentrespect for women--you with a wife of your own, and boys growing up?Where have you been to acquire such ideas and such manners? You mighthave lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman, and he might have beenbred in courts, compared with you. --I mean, of course, that I aminterested in him, and sorry for him, as we all are. He is your friend, and he has excellent qualities. "

I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating. Where shall a man gofor gentle sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his own sister? Isuppose she thought of this, for she went on more kindly. "I would saynothing to Clarice if I were you. When she is ready, she will speak--toyou. "

"To me, eh? What would she do that for?" I put this in as part of thenarrative, but I am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered yet fromthe effect of Jane's previous violence; and then my intellect is notequal to all these feminine convolutions. 

"Brother, your head is not as good as your heart. Don't you understandthat in some cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one of the rightkind at hand, much as a man goes to a woman? You are a man, and Mr. Hartman's nearest friend. After all her recent confidences with you, orintimacy at any rate--of course I don't know what she talked with youabout, so many hours--is it surprising that Clarice should turn to youin her trouble, when she can bring herself to break silence at all? Whenshe is ready, she will speak to you, and to no one else. Till she isready, not all of us together, nor all the world, could draw a word fromher. Must I explain all this to you, as if you were Herbert? And whenshe does speak, brother, I do hope that you will listen with due respectand sympathy, and not disgust and repel her by any more coarse ideas andbase interpretations. "

I paid no attention to these last remarks, which seemed to me whollyunworthy of Jane. Strange, that one who at times displays so muchintelligence and even, as Hartman calls it, discernment, can in otherthings be so unappreciative and almost low-minded. Coarse ideas, indeed! Well, never mind that now: let me meditate on this prospectwhich she has opened to my view. So Clarice is coming to me: she knows Iam her best friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have I dandledher on my knee in the years that have gone by! Dear littleClarice----BOSH! What an infernal fool a man can make of himself over apretty woman in trouble! I am sometimes almost tempted to think that, asshe delicately hinted, there must be an uncommon soft spot in my upperstory. It is bad enough to show it when the girl is by; let me preservemy balance till then. When she wants to talk to me, I will hear what shehas to say. 

XVII. 

CONSOLATION. 

Sure enough about a week after this Clarice came to me as I was smokinga surreptitious cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after sundown. She came and sat down close by me, but I pretended not to notice. "Robert, " said she. "Well, " said I. There is no use in meeting them halfway when they are willing to come the whole distance: mostly you have todo it all yourself, and turn about is fair play. 

"Robert, are you angry with me?"

I couldn't help looking at her now, and she shot one of her greatglances into my face. I melted right down, and so would you have done. "Clarice, you know I never could be angry with you five minutestogether--nor five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What have I got tobe angry about now?"

"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time. "

"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"

"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?" And she put her hand in mine. 

"What have I ever been but your friend? Don't you do as you like withme--and with all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to see you likethis. And there's poor Hartman. "

She pulled away from me. "What has Mr. Hartman to do with it? Who wastalking of him?"

"Miss Elliston, " I said with dignity, "the First of April is past sometime ago. What do you want to be playing these games on me for?"

"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't you understand women yet?"

"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never expect to. That will do for youngbeginners, who think they know everything. I've seen too much of you topretend to understand you. Why don't you speak out and come straight tothe point?"

"Why, you goose, that's not our nature. Speaking out and going straightto the point will do for great clumsy things like you and Mr. Hartman. "

"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you justly observe. It's verypleasant to have you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish youwould do it oftener; it's mighty little I've seen of you of late. Butthough it would meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely, Isuppose you want something of me, or you wouldn't be so sweet. It mayseem an improbable statement, but I would rather help you out of thisscrape than enjoy your society even--that's saying a good deal, but it'strue. Yes, I'm fool enough for that. "

"I know you are, dear, " she said, very low and sweetly. Now what was itshe knew? You can take that two ways. All the compliments I get are soambiguous. But this did not occur to me till afterwards. So I went onwith my usual manly simplicity. 

"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution and feminine wiles whenyou want anything of me, Princess. You have but to speak, and, as theFrenchman said, 'If it is possible, it shall be done: if it isimpossible, I can only regret that I can't do it. ' What do you want meto do now?"

"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to me and be good. "

"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening all this time. " This wasnot quite true, for I had done most of the talking; but then what I saidwas not of much account. When I am with her I often talk just to fillthe gaps. 

"You can listen when I am ready to talk, and keep quiet till then. Ionly want your sympathy. "

"You have it, Clarice; you have it most fully. Come rest on this bosom, my own stricken dear--"

"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob; your shoulder is big enough. Have you got your best coat on?"

"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at dinner. But I will go to thehouse and get my clawhammer if you wish. "

"No, no. I only want to cry a little. "

"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on my best coat every day of theweek, Princess, and I would get a new one as often as it might beneeded. I don't wish to make capital out of your grief, my dear; I wouldrather never get a kind word from you than have you suffer. But often itseems as if you didn't care for anybody, you are so high and mighty andoffish; and O doth not an hour like this make amends--"

"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental: you always get the lineswrong. I've not been here an hour. O, were you joking? You are no morein the humor for jokes than I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet. "

I did: I 'dropped it. ' Clarice will use slang at times, it is one ofher few faults. Where she learns it, I cannot conceive. It isunfeminine, and out of keeping with her whole character; in any one elseI should call it vulgar. But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed justthen, so I said no more. Instead, I thought of my guilty secret--hersecret. It weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her what I saw andheard. I don't know how she would take it; and I don't care to beexploding any dynamite bombs about my own premises. The situation is badenough as it is; I'll not make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman! Andyet you can't meddle with such high-strung folks. By and by she spoke. 

"Bob, do you know why I come to you, instead of to Jane or Mabel?"

I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable idea about my being a man, but refrained. 

"I could not ask any woman for what you give me. And you are half awoman, Bob; you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else would be that. "

"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear. They would do anything for you. "

"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I am so exacting; I want so much, and give so little. I suppose I was born so; and you have spoiledme--all of you. O, I know I have treated you badly, Robert, often;generally, in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you never resent it. Only a man can be like that--to a woman: and very few men would be so. You are not like other men, Bob: there is nobody like you. You are sucha useful domestic animal. "

Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when she let me down thus. I wishClarice at least would be less mixed--more continuous and consistent, soto speak--when she sets forth my virtues. But one must take the Princessas he finds her, and be content with any crumbs of approval she maydrop. Sometimes I think I am a fool about her; but when she talks asshe does to-night, I know I am not. There may be more amiable women, andplenty more even-tempered; but there is only one Clarice. I may havemade that remark before, but it will bear repeating. It is not of me sheis thinking all this time: how should it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if youcould know what I know, and see what is before you!

Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why don't you ask me what I havedone? I know you are dying of curiosity. "

"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than pry into your affairs, dear. When you see fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will ask you. "

"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell you now; perhaps never. Robert, where did you learn to respect a woman so?"

"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do respect you, Princess. "

"That must have been when you had vexed her with some of your blunders:you do make blunders, you know? But, Bob, do you know why I love you?"

This moved me so that I had to put myself on guard. She never said somuch as that before: it is not her way to talk about feelings or professmuch affection for anybody. 

"I suppose because we were brought up together, and you are used to me. And, as you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I can be useful toyou, I am proud and thankful. I think more of you than I could easilysay: it is very good of you to give me some small return. "

"It is because you have a heart, Robert. They may say what they pleaseof your head, but you have a great big heart. "

Now was ever the superior male intellect thus disparaged? She must havegot this notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with her now. 

"Men are great clumsy things, as you said, dear: we have not your tact, nor your delicate roundabout methods. You are right, I do make blunders;I feel my deficiencies when I am with you. But if my head, such as itis, or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you, they will be ready. "

"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out of your life?"

"You could not go out of my life, though you might go far away. I shouldbe sorry, but I have no right to hold you. But if you ever wanted me, Ishould always be here. "

"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"

"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must--it would not be for me tojudge you, as you told me once. You might do something that did notaccurately represent your mind and character: since I know them, theaction would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity. I don'tchange easily: I have known you from your cradle. And if it was everpossible for me to fail you, it is not possible after to-night. "

"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert. What if I quarreled with him?Would you take my part against him?"

"I would take your part against the world, Clarice. But he is not of theworld. A sad and lonely man, burdened with an inverted conscience andquixotic fancies that turn the waters into blood, who has come for onceout of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the light that never was onsea or land, and then to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear he issadder and lonelier now than when I brought him from the woods: but Iwould stake my soul on his honor, as I would on yours. You cannot forceme into such a dilemma. "

A heavenly glow was on her face now, as she looked long at the stars, and then at me. "Why are you eloquent only when you speak of him, brother?"

"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent when I think of you. Shall a stranger be more sacred to me than my sister?--and I don't meanJane. You would be sacred to a better man than I, dear, if he knew youas I do: you may be so already, for what I can tell. He _could_ not meanto sin against you, Princess. If he seemed to fail in respect, orcourtesy, or anything that was your due, forgive him, and don't banishhim forever. I trusted that you would have enlightened and converted andconsoled him: he is worth it. "

I longed to say more, but this was as far as I dared go. She sighed. 

"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled myself. But that isungrateful; with such a comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable. We never knew each other like this before, Robert. Why is it?"

"I don't know, Clarice--or rather I do, of course. It takes the moon, and stars, and a common trouble, to bring people together, even whenthey see each other every day; and then concurring moods must help. Onestands in awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only tolerated mewhen you were happy: I was rough, and careless, and stupid, and made badjokes in the wrong places. I will try to do better after this, so thatyou need not be repelled when you want me. Hartman, now, is of finermould than I: if you would let him come back--"

"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in. The moon is going down: it isgetting cold and dark. " So it was; and damp too--on my shoulder atleast. "I am glad you had your old coat on, " she said. 

Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well, " she began; then she saw ourfaces, and modified her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I suppose?"

"You know you never will go out in the evening, " said Clarice. "It islater than I thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a dear good boy. "She kissed her, and went upstairs. 

"Mabel, " said I, "Clarice is in trouble. " I had to say something, andthis was perfectly safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and so Icould say if asked. But I wasn't. 

"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen it all along. She is a deargirl, for all her flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I hope itwill come right. If you can help or comfort her, I shall be glad. " Thenshe too went to bed. 

It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into such candor. I got a cigar, and went out on the porch to meditate. Jane thought that Clarice wouldtell me things. Yes, I have got a lot of information. Let me see, I am auseful domestic animal, and I have a big heart: that's about the size ofit. At this rate, I can soon write a Cyclopædia. Well, cold facts arenot all there is in life: there are some things the Cyclopædias fail totell us about. I don't regard the last few hours as altogether wasted. 

After this the Princess and I did not talk much: there seemed to be noneed of it. But she was a new and revised edition of the old Clarice, wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and equable; and her look when we metwas like the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow says. I wentabout with a solemn feeling, as if I had just joined the Church. Whatdoes a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and beer, and cheating otherfellows on the street, when he has such entertainments at home? And yetit cuts me to the soul to look at her: I _must_ do something to bringthem together. Pretty soon we went back to New York. 

XVIII. 

AGAINST EARNESTNESS. 

Jane, and even Mabel, have the idea that I am of light and shallownature; and sometimes I think they are right. It must be so; for yourprofound and serious characters have a weakness for sorrow, andluxuriate in woe--whereas I object to trouble of any kind, and cannotget used to it. The house has been like a rural cemetery for near twomonths, and it simply bores me. Hartman now prefers to dwell among thetombs: he has lived these ten years in a graveyard, so to speak, under acanopy of funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and Clarice are themost superior persons I know; and they have gone and got themselves intoa peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about nothing at all. They must like it, or why should they do it? I doubt if I can ever beeducated up to that point. I have the rude and simple tastes of a child:sunshine seems to me better than shade (except during the heated term), and pleasure more desirable than pain. I like to be comfortable myself, and to have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting miffed at me, or Iat her, over some little two-penny affair of unadvised expressions! Sheoften says unkind things to me: if I took an earnest view of life, andwere full of deep thought and fine feeling, probably I should have totake her criticisms to heart, and go away in a hurry and never comeback. I sometimes make blunders worse than that one of Hartman's, and noharm worth mentioning ever comes of them--though I do have to be carefulwith the Princess. No doubt I am frivolous and superficial; but peopleof my sort appear to get along more easily, and to make less trouble forthemselves and others, than those whose standards are so much higher. If I had the managing of this business, I could set it right inside aweek--or in two days, if Jim were not so far away. It is merely to sayto him, "Your language was unparliamentary. It is not etiquette toassume that a lady cares for you when you have not asked her to. Youhave no right to resent her resenting such unconventional behavior. Youowe her an apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw theoffensive epithet, term, phrase, clause, or sentence, which ever itmight be. " Then I would say to her, "He meant no harm. How do you expecta member from Wayback to be posted on all the usages of metropolitansociety? You ought not to have come down on him so hard. Let the man sayhe is sorry, and forgive him. You were mainly to blame yourself; butseeing it is you, we'll pass that. " Then I would stand over them likethe heavy father in the plays, and say, "You love each other. Take her, Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you, my children. " That is the way itought to be done, and that is the way I would fix it if it concernedcommon every-day people like myself, with no pretence to qualitieshigher than practicability and common sense--supposing such people couldhave got into such a mess, which I own is improbable. A method thatwould answer for them is not so easily applied to these superfinespecimens, who have taken such pains to build themselves a privatePurgatory, and keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They mightresent intrusion on their agreeable demesne, and put up a board with 'NoTrespassing' on it; but then they ought to keep the place fenced inbetter: as it is, the smoke and heat spread too much. They might say, 'If we enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of you to interfere?'Yes, but what right have they to rope in the rest of us, who are not soaddicted to the luxury of grief, and make us miserable too? That's whatit comes to. 'Each man's life is all men's lesson, ' and each woman'stoo. Now if our high-toned friends had kept this particular part oftheir lives in manuscript, and not supplied us with copies, but reservedit for spelling out in secret at their own leisure, the case would bedifferent. As it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I have got byheart and am tired of: I would like to set it aside and turn tosomething more cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I have dutiesin the matter, for it affects us all. I don't mind so much about Jane:she thinks this is a XX. Romance, which the parties chiefly concernedare conducting in the most approved manner; if she had one of her own, Isuppose this would be her style--her idea of how the thing should bedone. [1] It is not mine, however; far from it. Shall I sit passive, andsee the clouds of care growing heavier about the wife of my bosom, andthe furrows deepening in that once marble brow? She looks two yearsolder than she did two months ago, and she owns it. I have three lovelychildren: how brief a space it is since they played in the abandonmentof infant glee! And now their young existence, too, is darkened. Herbertno longer slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness, butsits and looks wistfully at Cousin Clarice. The change involves a savingin lint and arnica, but a loss of muscular development. You see, we areall of the sympathetic--which is the expensive--temperament: we have notsense enough to be content each with his or her own personal affairs, and let the others arrange their private funerals at their own charge. There is more truth than I thought in part of what I told Hartman, thatnight on the boat. 

This thing must stop. I will have to ask the Princess if she wants ourhumble abode to be a house of mourning much longer. We might accommodateher in that respect for another month or two, but not permanently. Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they upset all your domesticarrangements, and spoil your harmonies with the discord of their sweetbells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged, nor yet allowed. 

[Footnote 1: I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the nextchapter. _R. T. _]

XIX. 

CONSPIRACY. 

The summer has not done for any of us what it ought; quite the reverse. Even I am not in my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right. They hadlet me alone for some time: last night they attacked me together--apreconcerted movement, obviously. 

"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You need a change. "

"Why, " said I, "I've just had a change--or rather several of them. We'vebeen back only three weeks. "

"You need mountain air: the sea does not agree with you. And Newport isnot what it used to be. "

"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that; but I don't know that itsincreased muchness has damaged my health to any great extent. "

"You prefer small, remote places, and their way of life; you know youdo. They are more of a change from town. You bought the house at Newportfor our sakes. I have often feared you were sacrificing yourself tous--with your usual disinterestedness, dear. "

"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to be worked again, to anyreasonable extent, if you will say what you're after. But how can Ileave the business now?"

"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time. ) "That is all very fine, whenyou don't want to leave town. But I notice that the business neverinterferes with any of your junketings. What are your clerks paid for?Can't they attend to the business?"

"A fine idea you women have of business, and a fine success you'd makeof it. Jane, suppose you take charge in Water Street while I am away. "

"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as you, after a littlepractice. Why, brother, Mr. Pipeline understands it a great deal betterthan you do. Our father, in his later years, trusted him entirely. "

"Yes, Robert, " said Mabel, "and how often you have assured me that Mr. Pipeline was absolutely competent and reliable. When we were married, and a hundred times since, you explained your carelessness andindifference about the business by saying that all was right while oldMr. Pipeline was there: he knew everything, and kept the whole force totheir work. It was that, you said, which enabled you to be so much moreabout the house than most men could be, and so attentive andsatisfactory as a husband and father. "

She had me there: who would expect a woman to remember things and bringthem up in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn it off. 

"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the books seem straight, and thereturns are pretty fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to lookin occasionally, all the same. "

"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one can accuse you ofneglecting that duty. Would I have married a man who neglected duty, andallowed his business to go to ruin, and his family to come to want? Yourconscience may rest perfectly easy on that score, dear. "

"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed the state of the oilmarket to interfere with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation ofyou and the children. Family duties first, my dear; what so sacred, soprimary, as the ties of Home? But such virtue is not always duly prizedthere. I'm glad you do me justice. "

"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever Jane and others might say aboutyour levity and your untimely jests and so forth, I have steadilymaintained that you had a good heart. "

"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel knows, for she is in a position toknow. "

"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that. If you had not that oneredeeming trait, I should have left you long ago, even if I had had toget married. You admire Artemus Ward: he had a giant mind, yourecollect, but not always about him. So with your good heart at times. But we are wandering from the point. Mabel, you were showing him how hecould go away for a week or two without neglecting his important dutiesdown town. "

"Why yes, Robert. You have been here three weeks now, and I am sure youhave been at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when you were not athome, or at the club, or somewhere about town, I doubt not you might befound in Water Street a good part of the time. "

"Yes, " I said with an air of virtuous complacency, "I believe you areright. I can't deny it, though it may help your side of the argument. "

"Well then, you can surely be spared during a brief absence. And whenyou return, you can continue to look in occasionally, as you say. "

"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to be too positive. Where do youthink I ought to go?"

"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting. You might go up and spend aweek with Mr. Hartman. You found good sport there, you said. "

"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not far off, he told me. But Iwas there in May. And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if youremember. "

"But of course this time you would stay with Mr. Hartman. You refusedhis invitation before, and it was hardly civil to such an old friend. "

"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and I hardly like to thrust myselfon him. "

"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After Mr. Hartman spent a fortnightwith us at Newport--and when he has written you twice, urging you tocome. Can't you see that the poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"

"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were like last May--only he andI to be considered. But here is that blessed entanglement of his withClarice--quarrel, or love-making nipped in the bud, or whatever itwas--that complicates matters. After all the lectures I've had from youtwo, I don't want to complicate them any more, nor to meddle in heraffairs, nor appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he wants news of her, and anything goes wrong, or it simply doesn't come right as you expect;I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and perhaps those of my ownconscience. You're not sending me off simply for my health, or for alittle fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport will not be the main itemon the programme; and that every one of us knows perfectly well. So Idon't move till I see my way straight. "

Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane looked at Mabel, and Mabellooked at Jane, and there was a pause. You see, in this last deliveranceI had uttered my real mind--or part of it--and it naturally impressedthem. 

My sister's share in the discussion had thus far been confined to thefew efforts at sarcasm duly credited to her above--let no one say that Iam unjust to Jane. She had been watching me pretty closely, but I hardlythink she saw anything she was not meant to see. Now she came to thefront, looking very serious--as we all did, in fact. 

"Well, brother, some things are better understood than spoken--from ourpoint of view. But if you insist on having all in plain words, andplaying, as you call it, with cards on the table--"

"Just so, " said I. "You use your feminine tools: I use mine, which are aman's. If I have to do this piece of work, it must be on my ownconditions and after my own fashion, with the least risk ofmisunderstanding. "

"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a better actor than I thought. But if you really know no more than we do--"

This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane, you go too far. Robert likeshis little joke, but he knows when to be serious. Why do you suspect himso?"

Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he may be no deeper in Clarice'sconfidence than we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother, that youwill do nothing till she authorizes you?"

"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you, or me, or anybody else, to meddle in it without her direction, or permission--unless in case ofobvious extremity--would seem, by all rules alike ethical andprudential, a delicate and doubtful proceeding, to say the least. "

"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you may as well tell him. Robert, don't think, from all this preamble, that it is of more importance thanit would otherwise seem. Perhaps we might as well have told you at once;but we are only women, you know. Now at last we are using yourtools--the tools you always use with such manly consistency--candor andopen speech. Tell him, Mabel. "

"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that you were looking badly; shethought you needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his fall fishing?'she said. "

"Is that all?"

"It is a good deal for her, " said Jane. "If you want more, ask her. Areyou less concerned for her happiness than we are? Must we arrange allthe preliminaries? Brother, if _I_ could do anything, no fear ofconsequences or reproaches should tie my hands: I would do what isright, and take the chances. If I stood where you do, I would have thismatter settled, or know why it could not be. I would never sit idle, andsee two such lives spoiled--and all our hearts broken. O, I know youlove them both. But you are so cautious--unnecessarily and absurdly soat times, and wedded to useless diplomacy, when only the plain speechyou talk about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice too much: you maywait too long. Forgive me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you _must_see Mr. Hartman before winter. "

I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving her slurs on me, which maycontain an element of truth. There is more in her than I have supposed;and of course what she insists on is exactly what I have all along meantto do. But it did not come in handy to say so at this point. "I'll thinkit over. You two had better go to bed: I must go out and smoke. "

"Robert, " said Mabel, "don't go out to-night. You can smoke in thedining-room. "

"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your present amiable mood. But Itell you what it is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold weather youmust let us have a snuggery. He can't do without his tobacco. "

It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as well as a smoke. I feltgratified, for this thing had gone just as I desired. I am not quite soimpulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties as she does not;but my plan has merely waited for events to give it definite shape andmake it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman, and as he can't comehere, I must go there. But I wanted the women to suggest my going; thatdivides the responsibility, and gives them a hand in the game. I wouldhave had to propose it myself within a week or so, if they had notspoken. But the Princess knows what she is about, and what is fit andproper. It may seem strange that she should speak to Mabel instead of tome; but she will say what she has to say to me before I start. In fact, I'll not start till she does--how could I? It is her business I am goingon, with just enough of my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim atonce, to ask when he wants me: the mails are slow up there, and it maybe a week before his answer comes. That will give me time to get myinstructions, and not be in any unseemly haste to seek them either. Sofar, so good; but there is more to be done, and delicate work too, suchas will bear no scamping. It is the biggest contract you ever undertook, R. T. , and you must make a neat job of it. 

XX. 

APOLOGY FOR LYING. 

If you do not understand my waiting for Mabel and the girls to promptthis move, and allowing them to urge it against my apparent reluctance, I ascribe this failure on your part to lack of experience, rather thanto any deeper deficiency. Some men like to make a parade ofindependence, and to do--or pretend to do--everything of themselves, without consulting or considering their womankind. But such are not thesort I choose my friends from; for I have been accustomed to regard bothbrain and heart as desirable appurtenances to a man. There is littleBruteling, at the club, who would like to be considered a man of theworld--but I can't waste space or time on him. And I have met family meneven--but I don't meet them more than once if I can help it--who regardtheir wives and sisters as playthings, dolls, upper-class servants, notto be trusted, taken into their confidence, or treated with any realrespect. Such heresies have no place under a Christian civilization, which has exalted Woman to her true rank as the equal and helpmeet ofMan, the object of his tenderest affections and most loyal services. Itis in his domestic life that one's true character is shown; and Home isnot only the dearest place on earth to me and to every one whose head islevel, but the stage on which his talents and qualities are best broughtout. 

You think that I don't practice what I preach; that I introduce withinthose sacred precincts too much of play-acting and small diplomacy, asJane says; that even at this moment my thoughts and intentions in amatter which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed to my nearest anddearest? Ah, that is owing to the difference between the sexes, and tothe singular lines on which the Sex was constructed, mentally speaking. I don't wish to criticize the Architect's plans, but it seems to me Icould suggest improvements which might have simplified relations, andavoided much embarrassment. The difficulty is that women, as a rule, canneither use nor appreciate Frankness. Just after I was married, Ithought it was only the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls Ihad been sweet on before I knew her. Would you believe it, she burstinto tears, and upbraided me with my brutality; and she brings up thatill-advised disclosure against me to this day. I know several ladies whowill not lie, under ordinary circumstances--not for the mere pleasure ofit, at least; Clarice, for instance, and Jane, I believe; but not onewho will tell the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it. Well, well, we have to take them as they are, and make the best of them: theyhave other redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In heaven theseinequalities will be done away, and one can afford to speak out--atleast I hope so. But meantime you can see how these femininepeculiarities hamper a man, and check his natural candor, and impose onhim a wholly new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code. If I wereto follow my original bent, which was uncommonly direct and guileless, Ishould be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle between natureand--well, I can hardly call it grace; let us say necessity, orenvironment--which is making me bald, and fat, and aging me so fast. Youhave seen, in the course of this narrative, what scrapes I have gotteninto by speaking before I stopped to think, and blurting out the simpletruth. I was once as honest as they are ever made--and for practical anddomestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been obliged, actually forced, todeny myself the indulgence of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate theopposite vice. The preachers don't know everything: I could give thempoints. I don't say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise hasbeen deeply painful to me; but it was absolutely essential, if I was tobe fit for the family circle, and able to do or get any good in thisimperfect world. There is no escape, unless you live in a hermitage likeHartman. You may have noticed that my loved ones sometimes appear totreat me with less than absolute respect and confidence: it is theresult of this life-conflict, which has left me with a character mixed, and in one respect wrecked. But they would think much worse of me thanthey do if I told them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but thetruth, on all occasions. Thus I might--and then again I might not--go toour poor Princess, and say, "Clarice, Mabel and Jane think I ought tosee Hartman. I think so too, and they report you as concurring in theverdict. This is delicately put under cover of my health and the fallfishing; but we all know that you and Jim want looking after more than Ido, and that bigger game than trout is to be caught. Tell me what youwant me to say to him and do with him, and I will start at once. " Somewomen might stand that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to: suchwould be eminently the way not to attain my benevolent end. No, no; youcan do nothing in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls it, andstrategy, and tact, and management; and if you have not these gifts bynature, you must acquire them, whatever they may cost. I still hold tomy principles; but I don't propose to run them into the ground. Inmorality, as elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse than muchtoo little; and theory and practice are very different things, not to berashly confounded. You want to hold the right theories, and then to liveas near them as depraved mundane conditions will allow. The manlyweapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully last night are the rightones--when you can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I knowwould have been at any time, and would still be, impossible and ruinous. Hartman is not so far out on some points: as he says, we did not arrangethe present scheme of things, and could not be proud of it if we had. 

You may say, and I could not deny, that my diplomacy, such as it is, isnot always employed for the benefit of women only. Hartman is a luminousand transparent soul--too much so for his own good: why did I practiseoccasionally on him? I can explain that best on general principles. 

In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are female, demoralizationhas naturally extended far and wide, till strict veracity has becomeunpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's) must have beenhumiliating to him who uttered it, and a fatal example to those whoheard; but mankind soon grew used to the new fashion. I pass over therude barbarian ages, whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim torespectful and sympathetic interest, and no excuse but the lame one ofselfish depravity, common to the race. But with the inroads ofcivilization Life became complex, and Truth was found too simple andrigid to fit with all its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth _is_simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?" demands a fond parent. "No, I don't: far from it. " That is the truth; but its naked and repulsivebrutality demands to be clothed with the garb of humane and gracefulfiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty or not guilty?" He isguilty, of course; but if he says so, it is a dead give-away. In thiscase indeed the interests of Truth are one with those of Society, thoughnot of the prisoner; but often it is different. The basis of ethics, ourmoralists say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal. If so, is thereany special sacredness about cold facts, that they should get up on endand demand to be published everywhere continually? Truth ought to bemodest, and not claim all the observances and honors, seeing there areso many other deities whom we poor mortals are no less bound to worship. When Grotius' wife lied to the policeman about her husband'swhereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas truthtelling wouldhave been murderous infidelity. If the minions of the law were after me, would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert for telling them which way Ihad gone? There is no more aggravated nuisance than he who insists onexposing all he knows at all times and places--as I used to do before Ilearned these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting his honestbackwoods thought without asking whether it was a wise and decentoffering to his small but highly select audience; and see what troublehe has brought on himself and all of us thereby. 

This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence. Take me, for instance:to this day, in spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far easierand pleasanter for me to tell the truth than not. People of thistemperament must learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence isbad, all agree, and self-denial useful and necessary. This is the wayvirtues clash and collide. I say, confound such a world. What is a plainman to do in it? As the poet sings, the _Summum Bonum_ belongs inheaven, and you can't expect to get at it here, but must simply do thebest you can, which is generally not very good. And then, as anotherpoet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate your efforts, but youwill get cuffed for them: we are punished for our purest deeds, and soforth. --But this is trenching on Hartman's province. It is well that Ishould think all this out now: I can talk it over with him before we getto business. He will want sympathy with his notions about the depravityof things in general, and that will smooth the way, and make him willingto open up on the specific woe that lies nearest. 

To return to our muttons. The guilt of duplicity has lain heavy on myconscience for two months, but how can I help it? I don't so much mindkeeping what I know from Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. Butit is Clarice's affair--most eminently so--and I had promised solemnlyto tell her at once when I knew or thought of anything that concernedher. It was obviously impossible to keep my promise in this case--not onmy account, but on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim that Ioverheard their last colloquy, and witnessed the tragical parting scene:I'll have to watch my opportunities, and spring that on him just at theright moment, when it will have the best effect. Now any one who knowsClarice must see that to tell her this would be to take the most awfulrisks, and probably to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that islevel to the meanest apprehension, I judge. No sir: it can't be donetill I have seen Jim, and got things in train. Properly handled, thesecret--that is, my possession of it, which is a second secret, almostas weighty as the original one--may be a tool to manage both theseintractable subjects with, and bring them to terms: in a fool's hands, and thrown about promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine to blowus up. No: I'll take whatever guilt there is, rather than hurt Claricenow and hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion of a man who is alwaysand only thinking about keeping his hands clean and his conscience atpeace, so that he can't do a little lying--or it might be othersinning--on adequate occasion, to serve his friends or a good cause? Ithink he is a cad, sir--a low-minded cad; and of such is not the kingdomof heaven. It may not occur every day: it might not do to insert in thetext-books as a rule; but once in a while there may be better businessesthan saving one's soul and keeping one's conscience void of offense. [2]

I am arguing against my own nature in all this. In my heart I love Truthabove all things, and follow and serve her with a devotion that isprobably exaggerated. But I can't help seeing that there are two kindsof her. When she is simple and obvious, she seems to reside in barefacts, which we may easily respect too much, for what are they butblackguard carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art, Realism in literature, might be all very well if they would keep their place--which is in thekitchen. Some may want pots and pans, and scullions, and pigs' feet, andribs of beef described. I don't myself; but it is a free country, andvivid and accurate portraiture of these delicacies may constitute themain charm of literature for some readers, possibly. But Realism wantsto take its pots and pans into the parlor: it always overdoes things. "Adaisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was to him, and it was nothingmore. " Well, what else should it be?--But perhaps I have not got thatright. Pass on to our next head. 

Truth is not always simple--by no means always. Often she is highlycomplex, and as much mixed as I was just now; and then you don't knowwhere she is, or what she is, and it gets to be all guesswork. One says, Here, and another says, There: the philosophers upset each other'sschemes in turn, the theologians hurl reciprocal excommunications, thescientists of to-day laugh at those of last year. If Pilate meant itthis way, we owe him some sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth andshame the devil, " they say. Bah! [I think this expletive ought to bespelt _Baa_. ] When you know what the truth is, you are more likely toshame your friends, and become obnoxious and ridiculous. And in mostcases you don't know, and if you suppose you do, you are mistaken. Ihave thought out a way of approximating Truth on a large scale, and morenearly than most succeed in doing; but this is a big topic, and I hadbetter keep it to entertain Hartman with. 

O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use roundabout methods even withhim. If you tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose yourreal character, it will generally be a waste of good material whichmight better be economized. By the way, what _is_ my real character? Howshould I know? One sees one side of it, another another. I see all thathave turned up yet, but there may be many more, thus far latent; and howam I to harmonize them all, and take the average of a succession ofphenomena? I am complex, like Truth. 

But I must not interrupt myself any more. Let us fall back on theutilitarian basis of ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to Jimwhen we met last May, he would have put himself on guard and begun tostudy me, whereas I wanted to draw him out--as I did. I have noobjection to people studying me when I don't care to study them; butwhen there is anything to be done for them you have got to understandthem first, and to this end it is best to appear simple and not distracttheir minds from the contemplation and disclosure of their ownqualities: you can play on their vanity if your own does not stand inthe road. Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent rural way he tookfor granted that I had stood still since we were together at college. SoI played to his lead, and pretended, for instance, to know nothing aboutpoetry; whereas, as you must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and mymemory is remarkably copious and accurate. (Clarice did indeed say thatI sometimes got the lines wrong; but what she meant was that thepassages I quoted in my well-meant efforts to console her were of toogay a character for her melancholy mood. )

In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence, which I am using forhis good: if I had put myself forward, and been anxious to impress himwith my importance, he might have looked on me with the cynicalindifference which is all the feeling he can afford to most people, andI should never have got him out of the woods. So when I was taking himto Newport, I said what it was desirable to say, and omitted what wasnot: how else should a rational man talk? And that first night there, Itook the tone that he required, as a host is bound to do: sacred are theduties of christian hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he takesLife in such dead earnest, and expects his friends to be rampantidealists too: so I mounted the high horse for once to gratify him. Hewill never forget that, nor cease to respect me accordingly: he thinks Iwas serious then, and joking at all other times. You and I of courseunderstand that Life is but a series of appearances; and if I seem tocontradict myself, to say one thing on one page and its opposite on thenext, I am only reporting the various phases assumed by facts withoutand moods within. 'The shield is gold. ' 'No, it is silver. ' Well, shallwe fight about that? Probably it is both. A thing may be black in onelight, and white in another, for what I know. Of all fools the positivephilosophers seem to me the worst; and the most abject kind of conceitis that of alleged consistency. Why will you insist on a definitenesswhich has so little place in nature? The world is a chameleon, and youand I are smaller copies of it. 

I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and make him see that it istime he took on another color. He has been down in the depths all thiswhile; now let him get up on the heights. But he would never do it ofhimself, nor without the management of a more practical mind. If I tookthings as he does, I should be tempted to say, "You monumental idiot, tofling a rash word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to take herhasty repartee as a final verdict from doomsday book!" Happily there isone person around with sense enough to see that both these moon-struckbabes are forgivable, and therefore capable of such bliss as may befound in a world of which the best to be said is that we are in verysmall measure responsible for it. They were both foolish, of course; butwhat proportion does their joint offence bear to their punishment--andours? That is the Order of Things--this blessed and beautiful Kosmos. 

[Footnote 2: The unwary reader may possibly need to be reminded that R. T. Is not to be taken too seriously, especially in this his Apology forLying. --_Pub. _]

XXI. 

JANE TO THE RESCUE. 

It may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in dissertations like the aboveat so critical a juncture: but they serve to fill the time while I amwaiting for marching orders. I have written to Jim, and that is all Ican do at present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to have been aman, she is so fond of action. She got me in a corner to-day. 

"Well, brother?"

"Well, Jane?"

"What have you done?"

"Done? what should I do?"

"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of; plain speech, if no more. Have you spoken to Clarice yet?"

"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke to Mabel, not to me. "

"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything? When _I_ profess affectionfor people, I am ready to serve them at their need. "

"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly aware that I am readyto do this thing, or any other thing within my power, for her at anytime. It is easy for her to say what she wants. "

"Brother, you are _so_ stupid! Don't you know that it is excessivelydifficult for her to allude, however remotely, to a matter like this?Say what she wants, she would die first. Do you desire to wait for that?She is not like the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man. _You_could talk for a week, and turn your whole mind inside out, with nofatigue--except to your audience; but the faintest reference to what Ineed not name would cost her a painful effort. I told you it was a greatthing for her to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to have beenenough for you. "

"How could it be enough? Do try to talk sense now, Jane. How can I gooff blindly on a fool's errand--in her interest, but without commissionor instructions?"

"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous to put on her the burden ofopening the subject. She is doubtless waiting for you to speak, andwondering at your slackness. "

"Hanged if I can understand that. How many times have you lectured meabout showing her proper respect, and restraining my native coarseness, and what not; and now you want me to go to her like a trooper or a grandinquisitor, and ask about the state of her feelings toward Hartman. Ican't do it, Jane. When you get into such a scrape, I might try it, ifyou insisted--though it would go against me, as Sir Lancelot said: thenyou could see how you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all; and shehas deserved better things of me than that. "

"She _has_ deserved better things of you than she is getting. I thoughtyou loved her as I do. So that was only one of your pretences?"

"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude upon her solitude whenshe does not want me; to pry into her affairs without her consent, anddestroy what chance there is that she may call me when she is ready. "

"She will never be ready, unless we, that are her first friends, come toher aid against her own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive--ameddlesome old maid, prying into what does not concern me: but, brother, she and Mr. Hartman were made for one another. They were deeplyinterested, both of them--I could see it plainly: it would have beensettled in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding had notoccurred. _He_ may get over it; he is a man, though he did not seem tobe that kind. But she--she is of the deep, and silent, and constanttype: she will nurse this hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert;she has nobody but us. She never knew a thing like this before; it isher first experience. Other men to her were playthings, or bores; shehad no friend among them but you. You cannot fancy how hard it is forher; harder far than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for all herpride--her pride makes her more helpless to speak or act. If I couldonly help her, now--"

And here, to my amazement, my stately sister broke down in a passion oftears and sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before. I patted, andpetted, and soothed her, and did all that a man of humanity andexperience does in such cases. I shall apply for the title, Consoler ofFeminine Woes, since the business of the office comes to me. It will beMabel next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop, unless we beginthe round afresh. Clarice may naturally want to be comforted once ortwice more; but I hope soon to remove all further occasion for that. Jane and I have not been like this since we were children. 

"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock any man down, and insult anywoman, who said of you what you just said of yourself. You are not anold maid, and you might be a society leader if you cared for it: plentyof women are who have more years and less looks and manners and brainsthan you. You are as far as possible from a meddler: your fault is thatyou keep too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would be touched andflattered by your interest in her: I should, if you took a quarter asmuch in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so well, or do yourselfsuch credit--till now--as night before last. My heart said amen to everyword you uttered, even when you were girding at me; for you thought Ideserved it, and in part I did. I will have no more secrets fromyou--except such as I have no right to impart. If you will, we shall befriends now, and work together in this thing. You always seemed todespise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the affection is all on oneside. "

"Yes: you used to have enough of that with Clarice. "

She was feeling better now. As I may have said on some previousoccasion, a little judicious management will do great things for awoman. I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate responses toall her remarks. I have been too hard on Jane in the past. After all, the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar one--few more so; and, except for the Princess, who is such only by adoption, each of us is allthe other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought to have thought of thisearlier. 

"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now, as I hope you will. But Iwas going to tell you: I am of one mind and heart with you about this, dear. I have always meant to see Hartman this fall, of course; but itwas better that the suggestion should come from Mabel, you see. "

"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily, Robert. Mabel would haveapproved of anything you proposed, as a matter of course. "

"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a dictator in the house, likesome men. You all have interests and rights to be respected, and I wantyou to have your say. "

"We would have it more cheerfully if you would take yours--out plainly, in a man's way, you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"

"Certainly: that same night, and asked if he wanted me next week. Thatwas simple enough. I'm not afraid of _him_. "

"I can't see why you should be so afraid of Clarice. You've known herall her life, and she is only ten years younger than you. If she werebut seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance, I might understand it. You_must_ have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her style, perhaps youwill do as I wish. Remember, we are to work together in this thing, andyou are of one mind and heart with me about it; so you must let medirect you. Mind, now!"

I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and subdued indeed, of thePrincess as she was in her days of glory--not so long ago, alas!--beforethe rains descended and the winds blew and the storm beat upon her houseof life: the tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks. Where didJane learn these tricks? And what has come over her? A maiden, even ofher years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments and caressesfrom her own mother's son. Can Hartman have waked her up too? Shelaughed in my face. 

"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown on my society again; and as youare going to be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as well asI can. Meantime, you had better let me guide you; indeed you had. "

"That may be; only don't drive me too hard, please. I'm not what I oncewas: all these emotions are too many for me. Where do you propose toguide me to?"

"To Clarice. Will you come now?"

"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get. This is not a case where twoare better far than one. And then it would be three presently, whichnever answers--when she is one of them. I would rather go alone, andmuch rather not at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister: or youcan go yourself, if you like. But I don't see why she should stand onceremony with me. "

"Not with you, but with her own heart--a more recent acquaintance, andmuch more formidable. "

"But that is there all the same, whether I go to her or she comes tome. "

"Yes, but--can't you see? She dislikes to take the initiative. "

"So do I. According to you, she has taken it already. "

"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow, Robert: you require so muchteaching. "

"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says you have improved me a heap, between you. You see, the cases are different. None of you are the leastafraid of me--I should be sorry if you were. But I am afraid of you: youare such superior beings. You know you are: you look on my masculinedulness with contempt; and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect fora woman--which you said I would never learn. Jane, you hurt me then; youhave hurt me often. I would have been fonder of you--showed it more, Imean; but affection, repulsed, shrank into the shell of indifference. Bekind, now, and I will do anything you say. You see, I _am_ getting on. "

"I wish you would get on toward the business in hand. A nice timeClarice must have had with you. I can see now why she had to keep sotight a rein on you, and to rule you by fear. Will you speak to her, orwill you not?"

"Of course I will, before I go. We can't hear from Jim for several daysyet. She will probably come to me before that. If not, I'll have to goto her. Jane, there are some things that you don't understand, and Ican't explain. "

"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder that a man should be such acoward. "

"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't care to display my courage athome, sister. You are harder than Clarice. You want me to be all aroundthe circle at once, and whatever I do, you find fault. My dear, eversince you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give her a chance to saywhat she wants. How can I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell mewhat to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all about it, if youdon't. I'll wait to-morrow after breakfast; tell her so, if you will. She has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she wishes. Then youcan scold me to your heart's content for making a mess of it, and beingrough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am doing the best I can. If I couldput myself absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice and body toyour mind, it might be an improvement; but unhappily that is notfeasible at present. Will what I propose answer?"

"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust to you, Robert: you aredifferent from most men, and not easy to understand: you like to letpart of you pass for the whole. Whether you are so easy to rule as youpretend to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time to find out. Ifyou live by your professions, well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night. "

Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected way, I wish I could tellher the Secret: she might give me some points. But that isimpossible--unthinkable, as they say at Concord. Clarice would neverforgive me: that would be bad, but not the worst. It would be disloyalto her--distinctly so. That I've never been yet, and I'm too old tobegin now. There may be cases in which the end justifies the means, butthis is not one of them. No: I must dree this weird (if that is theexpression), and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been bred in theeast, I should be tempted to say it was a contumelious responsibility. The next time you want to get into difficulties with a lady, JamesHartman, you must do it on some other premises than mine. 

XXII. 

AN ORDEAL. 

Next morning I was nosing about in the library, pretending to be lookingfor a book, when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't think what youwant is here. Leave business this afternoon, and take me to the Park. "

If she were to say, "Leave business this year, and take me to Europe, orto Madagascar, " I should do it: she would have to arrange the matterwith Mabel, but that she could do without difficulty, I have not theleast doubt. It would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure wouldbe felt in business circles generally; but they would have to stand itas they might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice was involved:for a few hours, or days, or weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conductthe old stand well enough. What it needs is the feeling that a mastermind presides over its destinies, though from such a distance as Newportor the Wayback woods. 

We agreed on an hour--that is, she told me to be at the door at two--andI went down town, feeling relieved. It is much better for Clarice totake the responsibility of opening communications, and I wish she wouldconduct the whole interview, like a major-general with his aid-de-campor a master plumber sending out his apprentices to mend thepipes--leaving me only to take notes of instructions. But that is toomuch to expect. It is a delicate task before me, and my talents for such(according to the ladies), are not so eminent that I should be anxiousto overwork them. I can manage a man, and some women perhaps; but tocatechize and cross-examine her on a subject as to which pride, andhonor, and modesty lock a girl's lips--I don't see how I can do it, even with her consent. I would rather smoke my pipe through a powdermill than hurt you, my poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never madeto play about your heartstrings. 

I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put up a prayer; it was that shemight make it easy for herself, and for me, though that is a minormatter--keep the game in her own hands, and tell enough to serve herambassador's need, without his questioning. 

She did not keep me waiting: she never had that vice. The change in heris not for casual eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more thanshe has; in fact, I have lost three pounds in these last two months. Many a hat was raised, many an envious glance turned toward me, as wespun up the avenue. The fellows at the club, and elsewhere, used topester me to introduce them, and I gratified them for a while, till shetold me she could not have all my acquaintances coming to call, and madeMabel say I must leave off bringing men home to dinner. She never was acoquette; but what is a girl so endowed to do? They would forcethemselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds: they overflowedthe house and took up all her time; they crowded her life, until shecould stand it no longer and stopped it. That is why we live so quietlyof late: it is a great improvement. Now, they gaze on her from afar: yetshe never had difficulty with any of them--till August, alas. That wasmy fault, for bringing in a wild man from the woods, who could not becounted on or ruled like the rest, but would flop around in hisuncircumcised way and break things. I should never forgive myself forthat, if I did not hope to get matters right--and more so than they everwere, for her. 

For a time we drove on silently. Then of a sudden, without looking atme, she said very quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me, Robert. "

O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all? Well, what must bemust, and I will do my stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing else?"

"That you were afraid to come to me. Have I been so harsh with you, orso terrible of late?" Her tone was half arch, half reproachful. 

"No, no; far from it. But you know how it is, Clarice. Your trouble isours, and I am a poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the wound? Iwish it were mine, and mine only. "

"I have brought trouble on you all, brother. I ought to have gone away. "

"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would allow that, any more than I?We would all rather break our hearts together, if that need be, thanhave you among strangers now: it would be worse for us, no less than foryou. When you are happy you may leave us; not till then. "

"I know. You love me, here, and bear with me, and for me--though I don'tdeserve it. "

"Don't say that--anything but that. My Princess deserves everything--andby Jove, she shall have it. If I knew exactly what she wanted, now--"

All this time we had to be smiling and bowing right and left. You can'tmake pretty speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate work. Ihad turned from the main drive, but it was only a little better. 

"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are too many people: we can'ttalk here. "

We went by streets which you must know, if you are accustomed to havethis kind of business on hand. I trust you are not: a little of it goesa long way. At last we got into a quieter, semi-rural region. Find itout for yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you the exact spotsmade sacred by these confidences. Meantime I had been thinking what tosay, and it came out with a rush. It is a little easier when you put thethird person for the second--yes, that is a good idea. 

"If I were sure just what she wanted, she should have that thing, ifthere is any power in the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed, and make blunders--you have often said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, andeven Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than others. Her nature hasits own laws, which I can understand only very imperfectly. Yes, youknow it is so: you have told me that too. O, she need not mind me, norconsider me in the least. I am afraid only of offending or hurting her:I only want to help and serve her, if I can. If she could look on mejust as a tool to be used, an instrument in case she desired to producecertain sounds--I wish I were more capable of harmony--as a mediumpossibly--. But she will not speak--perhaps she cannot. And how can Iquestion her, as if from vulgar curiosity? What right have I?"

Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I could see it, though nobodyelse could; and we were on a country road. 

"Robert, you are the best and dearest man in the world. "

"Hardly that. But I am proud of your approval, and will try to earn it. I have not earned it yet, you know. "

"Brother, you rate me too high, and--and her you speak of. What if shehad what she wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it away?"

"But she did not do that, dear: she could not. I am sure it is thereyet, if she would deign to take it. "

"If that were certain, she would have others than herself to think of. So long as it was or might be merely herself, what could she do?"

I began to see light now. "There _are_ others; and though they are ofless consequence, her generous heart would not let them suffer. Supposeto one of them this meant life or death, hope or despair, use oruselessness. Suppose one not like most of us, but simple, sincere, andnoble, unversed in the world's ways and little loving them, with a greatheart early clouded and a strong mind warped thereby, had begun to pinhis faith to her I speak of, and in her eyes to see reconciliation toearth and heaven; and then for one rash word, one casual misconceptionsuch as comes between any of us, had fancied the cup of promise snatchedaway, and in his misjudging innocence gone back to his cave of gloom, thinking himself doomed to a state worse than that from which he hadbeen nearly rescued. Would she let him stay there forever?"

"I suppose she ought not--if she could help it. It is well he has betterfriends than she has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed I cannot. It may be weak and foolish, but I cannot. You must do what you have todo in your own way. --No, I will not be such a coward, and so baselyungrateful. O, I understand your position, Robert. You will have toquestion me: I am sorry, but it is the only way. Ask what you absolutelyneed to know for your own guidance--I know you will ask no more--and Iwill try to answer. "

I groaned; and then I could have choked myself. Must my despicableselfishness add to her burdens? What are my feelings, my pettyreluctance, to her interests? Have I not set myself aside? Are you notman enough, Robert T. , to put a few civil queries to a lady, when shehas just given you express permission, and even directed you to do so?The less you sneer at cads after this, the better. --I was so long makingup my mind to it that the poor girl had to speak again. 

"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to burden you so. If I couldsave you the trouble, I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives, andyour delicacy, and all your efforts to shield and spare me--never fancythat I did not, I have made more trouble than I am worth. If I couldonly die, and end it all!"

This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end to my shilly-shallying. "Thatwould end it all, with a vengeance. Some other people of my acquaintancewould want to die then too--or before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so. Two things I can't bear--your lowering yourself like this, and yourexalting me. I am a hound: if I were half a man, I'd have made it easierfor you. It is only that I distrust my own ability, my own penetration, my own judgment. I ought not to need any more instructions--but thisbusiness is so important, and I'm afraid of making a mess of it. "

"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on the opinion I pretended to haveof you, in days when I only half knew you and thought far too much ofmyself and too little of others. I know better now. You have the insightof sympathy: your heart will help your head. You will not need to ask memany questions; you can read between the lines. "

"I will try. You need not answer in words when you don't want to: justmove your head a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in view ofmy stupidity, the less risks we take the better: I must have some thingsdown in black and white. Well then: you said something to Mabel about myhealth, and the fall fishing?"

"Yes. You do need a change; I have had you on my conscience all thiswhile. It is all my doing; and you love me so. " Her hand stole intomine. 

"That is certainly so. Do you know where I would go if left tomyself--if these last months were blotted from the calendar?"

"Of course. Is it necessary to go through all these formalities?"

"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not trust my intuitions too far:they are not as fine as yours. --You know what construction might be puton my going there now?--Not by the outside world; it has nothing to dowith this business, happily. But by any of us; and more especiallyby--ah--by him?"

Her face was set now, her lips closed tight; but she nodded. 

"You have no word to send, I suppose?--No, of course not: how could you?Then if he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about you, as ofcourse it will be, I am to say merely what I think, so that you arenowise responsible?--Yes, I see. But the main thing to do there is tomake observations, and bring my report to you?--Certainly: he must puthimself on record before you do, if this is to go on. _If?_ Of course itwill: it shall be all right, my dear child. Then it follows that I can'tbring him back with me?--Why no: he must bide his time, and fulfil hispenance. That is all, I believe: the examination--or the operation, Ihad nearly said--is over, and you have borne it well. Thank you, Princess; and forgive me for troubling you. You won't hate me, will you, for having to be so horrid, and making you go through all this?--Thankyou again. Shall we turn homeward now?--Yes, we'll be there by dark. "

She sat very still, and paler than I like to see her. As for me, greatbeads of perspiration were on my forehead, though it was a cool day. Idrove as fast now as the law allows. At last she spoke, and her voicetrembled. "Brother, how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"

"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all. But you have been educatingme, and it is fit the best there is in me should come to the front foryour service--if it never put its head up before, nor should again. Waittill I come back: I've done nothing yet. "

"You have done everything. The rest will be easy for you, compared withthis. "

"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad we're through this part ofit. --One thing more; about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has beenberating me for indifference and slackness in the cause. O, she is atrump: she was crying bitterly last night because she could do nothingto help you, and because I was too lazy and cowardly to move; she hasegged me on to this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"

"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel too. I have made you allsuch a poor return: any other woman in my place would have trusted youlong ago, and been the better for it. But I am so strangely made, Robert: my lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at dinner, won'tyou? And promise me one thing--that always, after this, you will come tome at once, without scruple, when you want me, on my account or on yourown. As if I could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me when you hearfrom him, and when you are going, and--anything else. You won't mind mysilence, or wait for me to speak? And you must never be afraid of meagain. "

XXIII. 

PLAN OF CAMPAIGN. 

The Princess was seen no more that night, and I got away till dinnertime. Then I said that she was not coming down, and anxious looks wereexchanged, and dark ones cast on me. In return I winked at Jane, andfrowned severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal and began togrin. Mabel, who had seen it too, reproved me for setting the boy a badexample; and thus a diversion was effected. While she was seeing afterthe children, my sister carried me off to the library: I made her kissme before I would tell her anything. 

"Jane, you may scold me as much as you like after this, and I will neversay a cross word to you again. Hartman was right: he said you had morepenetration than any of us, and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn'tmind about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and I shall hold you inhonor accordingly. "

"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your work with careless handling. I always distrust you when you begin your fine speeches. "

"That was in the past, which we have put behind us: they come now fromthe abundance of the heart. We are one, you know, and I am to tell youeverything. Jane, I've done exactly as you told me, and given you allcredit. She knows it was your move; and it's all right. "

"Then you found that your imagination had created, or greatly magnified, the difficulties, and that your fears were unnecessary?"

"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both of us: the mererecollection of it is harrowing. Clarice is laid up, and only mysuperior physical strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation, enabled me to face you all at table. "

"Then you must have been rough with her. Brother, how could you?"

"What did I tell you? You drive me, with all your sharp-pointed feminineweapons, to a painful task, and then you blame me because you fancy I'venot discharged it as neatly as the angel Gabriel might. She thinks Idid, however. Was I rough with you last night? Is it my habit to goaround trampling on the finer feelings of our nature? In the hour ofwoe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder, you will find me afirst-class comforter. I thought you knew that already. "

"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this tone with her. Can younever be serious, Robert?"

"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have? Have I not been seriousthrough two weary months, and eminently so all this afternoon? I had tobe. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed a little now. You remember thePrime Minister, who after an exciting debate used to go home and playwith his children?

"As exciting debates are usually conducted in the small hours, it wascruel to disturb their infant slumbers. If you want to do that here youwill have to get Mabel's consent; it is out of my province. Best playwith your children before they go to bed. "

"Children of a larger growth will serve. Bear with me, sister. Myfaculties have been sorely tasked: I am spent and weary--"

"And you must have somebody to play with. Was that why you were so fondof Clarice, because she sometimes humored you? She could hardly serveyour turn now: the poor child is in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor oughtyou to be. "

"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of heart, my fraternal affection, which you have so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You stare, butit is so: it is only lately that I discovered the fact myself. Like theelder Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy--"

"You will continue to pine if you go on like this. I never saw such aman for beating about the bush and talking nonsense. What have youaccomplished?--I don't want to pry into her secrets, or ask her to shareher confidences, but--"

"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I will bring the tear ofcontrition to your eye. I asked and obtained her permission to tell youall I know, and all we have just arranged. "

"Don't be so long about it, then. What are the arrangements?"

So I imparted them with but little modification or reservation; andMabel coming in presently, I went over the main outlines again. It isnot every man who could thus communicate state secrets to his family;but mine never talk about home affairs to outsiders. One point is, theydo not attend the Sewing Society: if they did, I should feel less safe. They approved in the main. 

"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman, " said Jane; "but no doubt it's asmuch as you can expect from her. "

"I should say it was: why, she is acting nobly. If it were any otherman, he should, and would, have all the making up to do, instead ofputting it on us. You see, you--that is, we--don't exactly know what thequarrel was. He must have been in the wrong, of course. "

"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose I, being a woman, say, 'Shemust have been in the wrong, of course. '"

"My dears, " said Mabel, "let us compromise. They are both human beings;probably they were both in the wrong. "

"Happy thought, " said I. "We'll fix it that way: then they have only tokiss and be friends. But still, the man is generally expected to openthe ball. "

"That is, " said Jane, "if all does not go smoothly from the start, whichcan hardly be expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed. "

"I would not put it just that way; though he, or any man, ought to beglad to be sacrificed for Clarice. She is naturally first with me, as Ishould suppose she would be with you--except that, as you pertinentlyobserve, you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane; I'll attend toHartman's case too. I hope to act as attorney for both plaintiff anddefendant, and speedily to reconcile their conflicting interests. It istrue I am on a prospecting tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But Ishall soon pocket that, and master his side of the suit. O, I'll takehim up tenderly, and handle with care. "

"Of course you will, Robert, " said Mabel. "If there is any quality forwhich you are distinguished, it is the even-tempered justice of yourmind. You can argue on both sides of a case with equal fluency andforce, and that quite independent of your personal predilections. "

"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the same confidence in my fairness andability with you, my dear. You will have to talk to her privately, andbring her to a proper frame of mind. She is my only and much lovedsister, and I can't go till she has faith in me. "

"It is you who are not in a proper frame of mind as to Mr. Hartman'sside of this affair, brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity, foranother man. You can be all tenderness, and consideration, and faith, and loyalty, to a woman--when she has Clarice's looks; but when it isonly an old friend who trusts you, you will laugh, and sneer, and amuseyourself at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly estrangehim. "

"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday, and the day before, she insistedon my going; and now, when I am all on fire to go, she throws cold wateron my zeal, and--"

Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is you who show undue levity. Youforget that Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so fond of her, and espouses her cause so warmly. I think it is very good of him, andvery generous. "

"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished head. Mabel, if Hartmancan prove affinity with you, I will take just as much pains for him asfor Clarice. But, sister, you and I must be one. I tell you what I willdo: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and let you preach to me: then, if you can't fill me to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will itbe? Or you might go along, as you wanted to in May. Then you couldpersonally superintend the campaign. "

"My only hope is that you will sober down before you get there. In thismood you could do no good at all. "

"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects me to brighten him up: _he_is not wholly without a sense of humor. But if you think I am goingthere for amusement, you are out again. I shall take Young's NightThoughts, and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs, and a volume or twoof sermons, to read on the way, and get my mind attuned to theatmosphere of the place. My jokes there will be solemn and elaborateofferings, prompted solely by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane, you are in a minority of one. Clarice has confidence in me: you ask her. And so has Mabel: haven't you, my love?"

"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the only person who can possiblymanage this affair, since you and I can't well go, and Clarice does notlike to speak out herself. We could not commit it to a stranger, youknow. Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us did; they were oldfriends at college. He is the natural link between them, you might say. If he will only remember not to laugh in the wrong places, as he didthat time we took him to church, when the minister thumped his sermonoff the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong stories, as he so often doesat table, and not to yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly he hasbeen feeling since he left us, he will do very well. You can't expecthim to take the same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice: would hecare for us as he does, if we were men? Jane, he is pointed out byProvidence as the means of reconciling them. You must see that he is tobe trusted entirely. Under his supervision it will all come right: Isaid so from the beginning. "

After this, there seemed no need of further remarks. Mabel withdrewearly, and I went out to smoke. When I came back, I found Jane again intears. 

"Brother, tell me that you were only playing with me, and that you arereally in earnest about this matter, and will do your best to set itstraight. "

"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you like, if you will onlybelieve me; what is the use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care lessfor Clarice's happiness than you do--or for Jim's either? I wish youwould talk to her, and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you mayhave heard in church, is a saving grace, and essential to peace of mind. Within a month or two you will see whether I fail my friends or not, andthen perhaps you will learn to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now, even if you don't believe in me; I would do almost anything to pleaseyou. You want me to change my nature: I would do even that, but it is soexpensive, and then the new one might not fit as well as what I havenow. You are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with me, because Iwill be no party to such proceedings. "

"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will bring them together, I willnever doubt you again. "

"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that. You shall doubt me as often asyou like; but I will keep my promises all the same. "

You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane now. Magnanimity, patientforgiveness of injuries, disinterested and persistent affection, will intime soften the most obdurate. After Clarice goes off, there will be sofew of us left that I can't afford to be on any but the best terms withsuch as remain. And then my sister, when she is willing to doherself--and me--justice, has some quite creditable traits. 

XXIV. 

TO WAYBACK AGAIN. 

I pass succeeding interviews, of which there were several. Poor Claricehad little to say, but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions ofmine. What Jane unkindly calls beating about the bush is necessary witha person of her sensitive organization. She seems to feel that she hasfallen from her old estate, and is not yet established in a new one. Iam satisfied that she never would have made those admissions, slight asthey are, and allowed me to go on this secret embassy, if she had onlyherself to consider. For the first time duty to others has come intocollision with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her reserve. Alwayshitherto she has had things and people come to her; the exercise hasbeen in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to invite--to lift a finger, unless in the way of small and graceful social management--this is newto her, and she takes it hard. The thing I have to do beyond all othersis to preserve her dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that, thoughJane does not. I can't blame Jane: she has never seen me conduct anaffair like this, nor has any one else, for the simple reason that Inever had it to do till now. I am only her brother: she has hadexperience of all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted with myresources. Mabel is more satisfactory. She has not figured as much assome others in this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my making herprominent. But she too possesses some very good traits; especially shehas a way of bringing forward and dwelling upon points which nobody elsewould think of mentioning. She used to scold me sometimes, but that waschiefly when she thought I was not treating Clarice well. She laysgreat stress on ties of blood, and considers herself natural guardianand defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes forgets that I knew forfifteen years before I ever met her. Clarice talks little with her, andno more with Jane: I really believe that her only confidences--which arenot much, if measured by words--have been made to me. But they are veryfond of each other all the same. I suppose you can understand that muchaffection can exist with little intimacy. The Princess was cast in herown peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more like her, for theywould be poor imitations. None of us ever attempt to pry into her innerlife--or to meddle with her outward life either; when she wants anythingof any of us, we are ready, and there it ends. She knows we love her, and that is enough. 

Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable; though I suppose he will shuthimself up like an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious secret, and give me no end of trouble to extract his contents. But I possess aknife which is able to open his shell. He has answered my letterpromptly, and expects me presently. Does he think I am going up theremerely to fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish about theVanity of Life? Or does he scent my deeper motives--discern theEthiopian within the encompassing pale, as they say in Boston? If so, heis apparently as willing to be operated on as he was before. At any ratehe is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a woman--when he takes timeto think about it. This is a delicate business for him as well as forthe lady--and there is where the awkwardness comes in: from his point ofview he can't speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn him insideout and manipulate him, if it takes the whole week. Happily I don't haveto consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates, a man can't expectto have his feelings spared in the process. What are a man's feelingsanyway, compared with a woman's? And what rights has he as against hers?No: between man and man all that can be needed is plain speech and manlyfrankness--aided by a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces, JamesH. , if you are fractious; and I've got the weapons to do it with. It isall for your good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life. One thingmust be understood: I can't have you coming to my place and practisingyour wild backwoods manners on my family, and then sneaking off in thenight and evading responsibility. The next time you come you will haveto behave yourself, and to stay till Somebody has had enough of you. 

Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account of my trip with descriptionsof scenery and the like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a field, and who wants to know whether a tree is elm or maple? I am not ageological survey, and you can get mountains enough from Craddock. Notthat I am insensible to the beauties of Nature--as I have proved beforenow. How often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly gazed at thedeparting luminary as he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valleywith tints which a painter might strive in vain to reproduce! I wouldhave to sit there some time to see it all, for I have noticed that withus the Sunset proper does not begin till after the Setting of the Sun isfinished. And when the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal purple, and 'the death-smile of the dying day' lingered pathetically on thehorizon, my thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and long to restthemselves upon its pavement of liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin saythese last words at the first lecture I ever attended, and it struck myinfant intelligence that they ought to be preserved. And I too might bea poet if I lived in the country, in constant communion with Nature, abandoning my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the stir, thescramble, the mad whirl of city life, the debasing contact with lowmaterial minds, the daily study of Prices Current, make even of me amuckworm. Still, I might work up a brook or two after I get to thewoods, or expatiate on a seven-pound trout: my conscience forbids me toweigh them higher, for I never saw any above three. And yet some menwill talk familiarly of ten-pounders!--Or I might analyze the mediævalgarments of Hodge and his old Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they arelike any other habitations, only less of them, and few and far between:Jim's is the best, and it is nothing to brag of. You can see much betterbuildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts, as Lord Bacon observed, are but a den of savage men. It is to see one of these, and resume theinterrupted process of civilizing him, that I am about starting on thisphilanthropic journey, leaving my happy home and the advantages of ametropolis. If the savage breast is open to ennobling influences, itshall be soothed and charmed by the music of my discourse. What loftier, more disinterested task than to reclaim the wanderer, and guide thepenitent in the way wherein he should go? I began this soul-raisinglabor some time ago, but an unexpected hitch occurred in the proceeding:there must be no more such now. 

I found Hodge awaiting me at the station: he said that Hartman wasarranging the tackle for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim'snotions not to keep a horse, but to depend on Hodge for hiscommunications with the outside world; and another never to see therailroad when he can help it. 

"Well, old man, " I said as the effete steed began laboriously to get inmotion, "how is your valuable health?"

"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn as wanted to foller ye uphere las' time?"

"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be flattered by yourinquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"

"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout him. He don't say nothinto nobody, but he seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever sence youplayed that durn trick on me and him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He--"

"Look here, my aged friend; why should you accuse me of playing durntricks on people? To what circumstance do you allude?"

"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out plain. If ye don't know, Id'no as I'm called to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust rate, till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used to bein upsot. So when ourcommydations wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye went and gotHartman down thar in the city, or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye doneto him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a feller like ye; but heain't ben the same man sence. That's how _he_ is. He uster be chipper, an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he don't say nothin. Ye cansee fur yerself pooty durn soon. "

And the native bestowed on me a malign glance. I trotted him out andentertained myself with his paces (which were livelier than those of hisnag) for the next three hours. Those who like nature unadorned can findit here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor Hodge deserves a prize. Ibelieve I have got to the bottom of his luminous intellect--not that itwas worth the labor, if one had anything else to do. Supposing himselfJim's most intimate friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in thatcapacity; and he has never forgiven the slight put on his establishmentin connection with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased him bysuggesting that he supply the shanty with a new signboard labeled'Palace Hotel. ' Fortunately I don't have to put up there this time. 

Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual eye could see no change inthe recluse: his head does not hang down on his breast, his locks arenot long and matted, his sighs do not resound through the primevalforest and scare away the panthers. When you look closely at him, orhave been with him long enough, you can see that he is a little thinner, a little older, a little less inclined to chaff--as well he may be. Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his worst fault when I was herebefore; so far, his woes have improved him. He met me cordially enough, but with no wild demonstration: he seems no nearer insanity than lastMay. He asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but not afterClarice; nor did I mention her, of course. It was not a very pleasantevening, for each of us was watching the other to see what he would say. He knows as well as I do that the enemy has troops in reserve: he is notso unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate his theories to anygreat extent, nor did I see my way to expound my great scheme for theAscertainment of Truth: the ground ought to be in good condition beforeyou drop seed of such value upon it. 

If I thought things would go on like this, I should begin to grumble;but we shall probably get broken in to each other in a day or two, andthen I can thaw him out. We talked glittering generalities for awhile--the weather, and the war prospects abroad, and the chances ofgetting deer on the other side of a mountain not far away--like anycommonplace boobies at a county fair. Then he proposed for next morninga stream I had not seen, some distance off, which would necessitate astart before daybreak: so I pretended to be tired from the journey, andwe turned in early. 

XXV. 

A WILD BROOK. 

Next day we went some miles along a lonely road, and then through thefields of an abandoned farm. I don't wonder they abandoned it; I am onlysorry for the poor wretch who once cherished the delusive dream ofscratching a living there; when he died or went back to Canada, hecouldn't well be worse off. Nature had but partially reclaimed the land, and we tramped through weeds and grass up to our middle; one might aswell be wading a fair-sized river. You have no idea of the dew up heretill you have tried it. After a while we struck into the woods, and suchwoods you never saw--at least I hope so for your sake. Rocks, big andlittle, generally of the most unchristian shapes--not picturesque, butsprawling; underbrush wherever it had a chance to grow: you couldscarcely find a foot of smooth ground. The worst of it was the way thetrees lay around loose. The region had not been burned over, at leastnot for many years; but it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam'sfall had been enacted there. The monarchs of the forest, for countlessgenerations, had indulged a depraved propensity to fall also, and acrosseach other in all possible directions. It was such an abattis as I trustour men, in the war, never had to fight their way through: here it wasbad enough without anybody to shoot at you. I would go rods out of myway to get around a great bowlder, and come upon a conglomeration of bigtrees which had tumbled about till they made a Virginia fence fifteenfeet high. Climbing is all very well in its way, but I don't like thiskind. The queer thing was that they had not the sense to decay andcrumble; the wood was mostly sound enough to be standing yet. I askedHartman why they did not haul off all this timber, and he said there wasno place to haul it to, nor any way to haul it, nor anybody to do thehauling; that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants had plenty nearerhome; and besides, that it was most ornamental and useful where itwas--it afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual muscles of anyanglers from the city who might come that way like me. "You forget thecharacteristics of this region, which are its advantages in my view. Youcan get turnpike roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home. You comeup here to be away from the busy haunts, you know, and to see Nature inher native purity. This stream that I am taking you to is very seldomvisited. "

"I should think it would be, if this is the way to get to it, " I said, as I fell over a root and barked my nose and knees. "What the deuce didwe come to such a blanked place for?"

"For trout: you said they were what you wanted. The less fishermen, themore fish. This is the best brook in the county, because it is the leastaccessible. I rarely come here myself: I've been saving it up this yearfor you. "

We went on, our progress marked by frequent delays and accidents; thatit was marked by no profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence and tomy exceptional manners and principles. After what seemed to me abouttwenty miles--though he said it was only one and a half--of thissingularly forsaken country, he cried, "Look out now, or you'll fall in. Here is the brook. "

It made noise enough to be heard a long way off, but I thought that wassomething else--some kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably, workingat their forges underground. The brook itself was well enough, but itdid not seem to belong there; you could not see it till you were on theedge of it. I have fished a good many streams, and tramped through allsorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as that before, and I neverwant to again. We had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers whocarry fancy tackle through such regions leave it along the painful wayin small pieces. So we carried merely our baskets--which wereencumbrance enough--and what we had in our pockets. You can cut a poleanywhere, and it does not want to be a long one either: take yourfly-book if you like, but worms are as good or better. There was no useof wading: you would be more likely to scare the fish so than by stayingon the bank, where they could never see you; the difficulty was to seefar enough to throw in five feet of line. It was a superior brook--allbut the getting to it, and, as I afterwards found, away from it. If itcould be removed from its loathsome surroundings and put down in adecent country, I would go there every year. I was going to say thatsome of the cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered that troutcannot climb as far as that. 

"Don't lose your balance, " said Jim; "these fish are fierce. " They were, in the wilder parts. They would bite like mad, and then wriggle andwrench themselves off the hook before you could get them up the bank. Inever saw or heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated scalywarrior which chased an equally famous fisherman all over an Adirondacklake, jumped across his boat several times, and, if I remember rightly, bit him on the nose. No such adventure fell to my lot on this occasion, though I thought that some of them, when sufficiently near my face, grinned at me as they parted company. Yet none of them were over half apound, and most of them much less. You can see that this healthfulpastime does not produce its usual demoralizing effect on me. When wereached a flat piece of ground, the water would become quiet and themanners of the fish more humane, so that they would come out likechubs. I stood in one spot under a tree, and took twenty-nine insuccession. My sister, looking over these memoirs, suggests that theyprobably _were_ chubs; but Hartman, who was behind me then, came up andsaw them, so I have his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed, and Iought to put the twenty-nine back. Who would have thought him capable ofsuch mean jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on me. 

About two P. M. He said we had better start. 

"Why, we don't want to reach home much before dark, " said I. 

"No danger of it. It's much worse getting out of this than getting in. You saw how much path there is: we can't go straight, and it's allchance where we strike the fields. You'd better eat what you've got, anddrink all you can: there's no water between this and the road. "

"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the mountains all round. "

"They are like the mountains about the Dark Tower Childe Roland came to. I've been here twice before, and missed the way back both times. Nobodyever got out of here without going a circuit to the right, and takinghis chances. The natives are afraid to come here: they say there areghosts--the ghosts of those who got lost of old, and were eaten bybears. That's how we took so many trout. Look to your belt now, and thestraps of your basket. The last time I was here, the other fellow losthis fish in the woods, and I made him go back and hunt them up: it wasnear night before he found them, and his basket was not much heavierthan yours is now. If we should have to camp out, we can build a fire, cook some of the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd better tryto get out. "

I thought so too, and supposed he was trying to scare me; but the sunwas nearly down when we saw the fields. We went four times too far, through that beastly region of rocks and dead trees: I think our coursewas mainly northwest by south-southeast. At last we got back to thehouse, tired and hungry; but Jim's old housekeeper is a pretty good cookfor a native, and there is no better supper than trout that were in thewater the same day. 

XXVI. 

AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT. 

When we were settled down to our pipes, I said, "Is this the way youtreat the friends of your youth, when they entrust life and limb to yourhospitality?"

"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it doesn't suit. There's noDelmonico's round the corner, here. What's the matter with you, oldman?"

"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all right. But why did you leadme such a dance, and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole of awilderness?"

"Did you ever take so many fish out of a brook in one day before? No, ofcourse you didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would be a roughexpedition; but I thought you came here to rough it. You didn't expectballs and a casino, did you? You were here last May. "

"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day. You haven't been playingit on me, I hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against me?"

"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious and sensitive--far moreso than I was with you. I believe I let you play on me to your heart'scontent, and never complained--did I?"

"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change in you: Hodge said so, and Ididn't believe him. You're not the same man. "

"O, we all change--from year to year, and from day to day. But I oughtnever to have left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth. You shouldhave let me stay here as I was. "

"I meant it in all kindness, for your good, Jim. Surely you'll do me thejustice to acknowledge that. "

"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments are apt to be damnablyexpensive to the patient. "

"You couldn't be much worse than you were, according to your ownaccount. Any change ought to have been for the better. "

"That was your assumption. Do I strike you as being changed for thebetter?"

"Well, no, you don't--not to put too fine a point upon it. "

He certainly does not. His whole manner is altered. His formergentleness has given way to rough harshness. You have seen how he treatsme. It may be his best, as he says; if so, his best is far from good. His bitterness used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract, and leveledagainst abstractions; now it seems to have a painfully concretecharacter and aim. His estrangement from the scheme of things, or fromhis kind at least, was purely intellectual, leaving his heart no moreaffected than the heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is moral. He is like a man tormented by remorse, or regrets as savage. But I thinkI know a cure for his complaint. 

After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame you, Bob, and I don'tpropose to whine. Nor was it any great matter what came to me, whereverit might come from. I thought I was done with the world, and had nothingto fear from it, except being bored and disgusted. There was only onething I cared about, and that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken. It was my little ewe lamb--all I had; and they took it from me. "

"I thought your live stock was confined to dogs, and a cow, and thetomcat--by the way, I don't see him any more. I didn't know you wentinto sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb, and did the dogs play Nathan andDavid with him?"

This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit; but he only scowled. Really, I must remember Mabel's caution about telling the wrong storiesand laughing in the wrong places. "Well, Jim, what was 'it' that youvalued so, and who were 'they' who took it away?"

"The prince of the power of the air; the spirit that walks in darkness, and rules in the children thereof. The beautiful order of thingsgenerally, and their incurable depravity. All these are one, and thename doesn't matter. If you urged me to it, I might say that you hadplayed a very passable David to my Uriah. "

"Who--I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What would I want to hurt you for?Jim, you're joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste. "

"Do I look like it? _You_ might find a joke in this: you can find themeverywhere. I can't. "

"As I told you, you take Life too seriously. If you will be morespecific, and tell me what you have lost, perhaps I can help you to findit. "

"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better let it alone, Bob; you'dbetter have let me alone before, as I've said. You mean well enough; butit's ill meddling with another man's life. You don't know whatresponsibility you take, or what effect you may produce. I don't saythat it's the worst of all possible worlds, but it is such that each ofus had best go his own way, and keep clear of the others. When oneforgets that safe rule, and mixes with his kind, only harm seems to comeof it. "

"If that is so, I might better have staid at home now. Methinks yourwritten hand is different from your spoken. I mean--"

"O yes, when I write I try to come out of myself and be decently civil;and so I should to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour maybe. But I can't keep it up all day--not to say for a week. You'll have tosee the facts, and bear with them. I don't want to be rough on you; butI'm not myself--or not what I was before, or supposed myself to be. It'sall in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the beneficent intentionsof Nature. Perhaps I'm breaking down, and the end is not so far off aswe thought. If so, so much the better: we'll escape that sad old age youprophesied. "

Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it does not afflict me as it didsix months ago to hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is the matterwith him now, and what he is driving at, though I must assume ignorancefor a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms, and then the doctorwill give him the physic he needs, and proceed to make a new man of him. That is what I am after now, and the good work must not be spoiled byundue haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy, and said, "That's all bosh, you know. If anything is the matter with youphysically, I ought to hear about it; but I don't believe there is. Asfor the mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and periods ofdepression; but they pass, Jim--they pass. You believed in friendshipbefore; hadn't you better tell me what you think ails you?"

"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout way: what's the use?Best keep to broad principles: the particular case only illustrates thegeneral law. I knew it of old: what business had I to expose myselfagain? What would you do with a child who will keep on playing aboutmoving cars, or mill machinery? Let him fall under the wheels, and ridthe earth of an idiot. "

"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn better. Well, Jim, youmight at least tell me what hand I had in this catastrophe. "

"O, none, none whatever: how should you? You never laid any plots forme, and used me for your mirth. You never devised an elaboratelyconcealed ambush, and smoothed it over till I was in the snare. Thatwould be foreign to your open and candid nature. It is very good fun topractice on unsuspecting innocence; but you are far above that. "

"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house were a den of iniquity. Ifso, I was not aware of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus farbeen reciprocated. We entertain none but kind feelings toward you: weall regretted your hasty departure. You were received as a friend, andtreated as such, I believe. My wife and sister often speak of you: youcould command their fullest sympathy in this, or any trouble, real orimaginary. "

"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing but pleasant memories, andthankful good will. --You need not stare at me so: I make no charges, andimply none. --Well, if you must have it, I can say that every member ofyour family has my absolute respect, --down to the twins; do youunderstand? If I have any grudge, it is toward you alone. "

It was plain that he forced himself to say this--or some of it--as if itwere coming perilously near a name he could not utter. He is having hisbad time now, as I had mine last week. It is his own fault: he has noneed to be so censorious. He _had_ to say what he did, or there would betrouble: some things a man cannot stand, and my best friend would be myfriend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon the Princess. 

"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty is simple then, and easilysettled. You've got no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine. I'lltake your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's old shotgun: if it bursts, it won't be much loss--only you mustn't come too near me with it. There's no danger of interference from the police up here, I judge? ButI say, what shall we do for a surgeon?"

"There you go again, turning everything into a jest. Can you never beserious, man?"

"Try to say something original, James: that is stale. Jane asks me thatabout six times a day, and Mabel frequently, and--and the others. I wasserious with you just now, or nearly: had I been entirely so, I mighthave knocked the top of your head off, and then they would have blamedme at home. You see, they think you are more of a man than you showyourself. To be serious all the time is the most serious mistake one canmake in life; and I want no worse example than you. When I go back totown I shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged Seeker afterTruth, who missed it by taking things too seriously. You are too stiffand narrow and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point of view and stickto it like grim death. You can't get at Truth in that way. "

"I suppose you would stand on your head and look at it upside down, andthen turn a back somersault and view it from between your legs. "

"You express it inelegantly, but you have caught the idea. Truth is nota half pound package done up in brown paper and permanently deposited inone corner of the pantry shelf; she is big and various and active. Whileyou have your head fixed in the iron grip and are staring at the sign'Terms Cash, ' she is off to the other side of the room--and you don'tmake a good picture at all in that constrained attitude. Your mind hasgot to be nimble and unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because sheis always changing: that is, she appears in new and--to you--unexpectedplaces. I gave you a hint of this in May, and another last summer, butyou seem to have forgotten it. O, I could sit here all night andexplain it to you, if you were in the right frame of mind. "

"No doubt: happily I am not. What has this to do with your defence ofbuffoonery, and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"

"A pantomime is a very good thing in its way. But that is yourillustration; I would rather say opera bouffe, which is probably thetruest copy of Life--if we were limited to one kind. But we are not: Itell you, we must have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, andcomedy--that more especially; a little of the other goes a long way. Butthey are always mixed--not kept apart, and one alone taken in large andfrequent doses, after your fashion. Shakespeare understood his businesspretty well; though, if I had been he, I would have put in more of thoselight and graceful touches which hit us where we live, and make thewhole world kin. "

"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry Fourth. "

"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your purpose. I want you to seethat Humor is the general solvent and reconciler, the key that opensmost locks: a feeling for it, well developed, would be money in yourpocket. Things don't go to suit you, and you think your powers of theair are frowning, the universe a vault, and the canopy a funeral pall:perhaps the powers are only laughing at you, and want you to smile withthem. If you could do that, it would let in light on your darkness. Anysituation, properly viewed, has its amusing elements: if you ignorethem, you fail to understand the whole. What did Heine say about hisirregular Latin nouns? That his knowledge of them, in many a gloomyhour, supplied much inward consolation and delight. You ought to readhim more, Jim. "

"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well, that's enough of your wisdom forto-night. We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up to anotherscramble?"

"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some decent scenery along with thetrout. "

"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a brook in it. We can takeHodge's mare, put up at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not sobad as the last place, nor so good for fish. " I agreed, and we went tobed. 

You may think I am humoring Hartman too much, and letting him shirk thesubject. But I have a week--more if necessary--and I don't want to betoo hard on him. He'll thaw out by degrees: so long as he doesn't blameClarice, it is all right. He has got my idea about the way to discoverTruth now, and it will work in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: henever seems to take hold at first, but he comes round in time. You justwait, and you will see whether I know what I am about. 

XXVII. 

SCENERY IMPROVED. 

The next day we drove to a farmhouse which had annexed some ratherdecent fields for that region. On one side was tolerably level ground, on the other a cut between two savage mountains. Down this we made ourway, taking presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad or footpathnever can be there. For a while there was room to walk on dry land: soonthe cliffs closed in upon us, on the right rising sheer, on the leftsloping, but steeper than I would want to climb. At first the stream wasvery shallow and narrow, and the fish small and scarce; but think of thecreatures that must come there to drink at night! It was the onlywatercourse for miles, Jim said. He pointed out the tracks of a bear ortwo, and he thought of a panther; but it is not here I should choose tohunt--your game might have you at a disadvantage. He tried to make mebelieve that even now some of these beasts might catch us; but that wassimply to discourage me from going after them, later on: Jim does notlike the chase. _My_ jokes are in better taste: as he is now, I believethe bears could beat him in manners. Near noon we found a place to sitdown, where we could see a little of the crags, and proceeded toassimilate our frugal lunch. 

"Hartman, " said I, "I should think you would want to live up to yourscenery, as the ladies do to their blue china. Look at this majesticcliff, whose scarred and aged front, frowning upon these lonesome troutsince the creation, has never been profaned by mortal foot. "

"Probably not. People very seldom come here, and when they do, theywouldn't be fools enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do it, and itwouldn't pay if they could. "

"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to quicken your soul to grandthoughts. In such a scene you ought to feel stirring within you noblesympathies and resolves. "

"I can't see much grandeur in human nature, Bob, nor any in myself. Ifyou had thought yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to the factthat you were a cad and a scoundrel, you would be apt to change yourtune, and drop the high notes. "

Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point. While I was meditating how toutilize this confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above upon theedge of my toes: if it had been a large piece, and fallen on my head, you would have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed mysentiments, he said, "I can't insure you against accidents, --any morethan you did me. If I had brought you here in spring, you might growl. The rocks are loose then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed oncejust below here, and his body never found till the year after. " Thistrivial occurrence seemed to turn his thoughts away from the importanttopic, and I could not get him back to it. 

It was a warm day for the season: once in a while it will be hotter inthese sylvan solitudes than it is in New York. While we were in thebrook we did not mind that, for we could drop every five minutes anddrink. I suppose I consumed some nine gallons of _aqua pura_ during themorning: you can do this with impunity, because there is no ice in it, and the bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But by and by wefinished with the gorge: then we had to go across a sort of common, uphill. There was no water now, and it was hot. After more trees, and asteeper ascent, Jim said, "You'll get a view now. " We came out on anopen place, with steep rocks beneath. Before us lay a wilderness, withclearings here and there, and a background of mountains. The forestswere in their early November bloom; the country looked one great flower. In the Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds, and beat it easily, but it was pretty well for eastern America--and an occasion to beimproved. "Jim, if the crags don't appeal to you, this might. If youdon't feel up to moral grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let yourperturbed spirit catch the note of harmony from this landscape, anddrink in purity from this air. "

"That is all very fine, and you would make a pretty fair exhorter--withpractice. But natural theology is not in my line. These hills looknicely now, but it will be different within a month. If I am to learnpeace from a fine day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes for theworse like us, and with less shame: she has no regrets for the past, nocare to keep up appearances or make a show of consistency. "

"I fear you have been learning of Nature on her wrong side then. Halfconfidences are in bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting at? Itought to be murder, from the airs you put on about it. "

"Leave that for to-night, when we have nothing better to attend to. There is another brook here we ought to try. "

XXVIII. 

DIPLOMACY. 

We got back reasonably early, much less tired than the day before. Now, I thought, for some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to unfold your taleto-night. "

"That is, you wanted to ask me about it. You can't do any good, and Idon't find speech a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to supplyyou with amusement. So get on, and say what is on your mind. "

He takes this tone to conceal his morbid yearning to ease his bosom ofits perilous stuff: I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If I werenot here, he would probably be whispering her name under the solemnstars, and shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top;sighing it under the waterfalls, and expecting the trout to echo it. Hetalks about fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but he must havescared all the fish away from there with his sentiment. I must rememberto notice whether 'C. E. ' is carved about the forest. He will pretend tohold back; but I will get it out of him. --I made this pause long enoughto let him prepare for the examination on which depends his admissioninto the civil service, so to speak--he will have to be more civil andserviceable than hitherto if he is to pass it, and follow me back totown--and indeed his whole future. 

"You say you have lost something valuable. All you had, you said it was;but that is nonsense. You have health, and more money than you want, andbrains and education, of which you are making very poor use, andfriends, whom you are treating badly. I can't think what you havelost--unless it was your heart, perhaps. " This I brought in in the wayof afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to me. He started, butassumed a tone of cynical indifference. 

"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over that? What use have I for aheart, any more than for a poodle? And if I had one, what does it matterwhat may have become of it?"

"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things have happened, especially whenpersons of the opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach themselvesto poodles, and vice versa. But if you give me your honor that a loss ofheart is not the cause of these lamentations--"

"Why will you press that point, Bob? What is done can't be undone, andwhat is broken can't be mended. "

"And what is crooked can't be made straight, and what is wanting can'tbe supplied; though these things are done every day and every hour. Whyany able-bodied lady of my acquaintance, even those at my own house, limited as is their experience of the world's devious ways--Jane, Imean, or Mabel--could tell you how. "

"Robert, I am too old for these follies. "

"James, you are the youngest man I ever knew. Any boy of eighteen wouldbe apt to know better how to manage such matters, and--if you willpardon the frankness you employ yourself--to exhibit more sense. "

He stared a little, and I gave him time to recover. Then he took up hisparable, defensively falling back on the abstract, after his manner. 

"Of course I have thought of these things, Bob, and the philosophy ofthem, if they can be said to have any. They seem much like everythingelse. Taking Life in its unfinancial aspects, men do things, not becausethe particular things are worth doing, but as an apology for theunwarranted liberty they take in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said theyouth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave it up. As an effort towardanswering his own conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being alive, wehave to make a pretense of doing something, which else might betterremain undone. That is why books are written, and controversies waged;it explains most of our intellectual and moral activities. So withsociety: time must be killed, and we go out for an evening, though weare dreadfully bored and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with whatis called love. The emotional part of our nature, which is the absurdestpart of all, finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves and achesin the breast, and the man, as an old farmer once expressed it, is'kinder lovesick for suthin he ain't got and dunno what. ' Almost anymaterial of the other sex, if you allow a little for taste andtemperament, will fill the void--in a way, and for a time at least. Darby marries Joan and is content, though any other woman would haveserved his turn as well. With us of the finer feelings and higherstandards, the only difference is that we rant more and sophisticatemore, as belongs to our wider range. No one ever felt thusbefore--because the feeling is new to us, and newer each time it comes:so Festus protests to each successive mistress, perjuring himself in allsincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful and divine as thisone, appointed to possess and be adored by us. All that is purely amental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther, and it might bepractised as well on a milliner's lay-figure. 'He that loves a coralcheek or a ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob. Natureprovides the imbecile desire, Propinquity furnishes an object at random. Imagination does all the rest. "

"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again capable of such lucid andexhaustive analysis. But how about what is called _falling_ in love, when the wild ass has not been craving to have his void filled up atall, but is suddenly brought down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"

"He was no less a donkey that he didn't know it, and it only comesharder for him. The fool ought to have been better acquainted with hisown interior condition; then he might have eased his descent to hisroyal thistle, secured his repast or gone without it, and got back tohis stable with a whole skin. Otherwise it is just the same. The heartis an idiot baby, Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzlingnectar on Olympus. "

"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is our fertile fancy that doesit all. You and I can conjure up women far more charming than we evermet on brick or carpet. If we only had the raw material and knew how towork it up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls off the fieldbefore breakfast. Their merits and attractions are mainly such as wegenerously invest them with; and often they take a mean advantage of ourkindness. "

I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed and winced. "I would notderogate from women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only that weimagine--well, monstrous heaps of nonsense. For instance, we often fancythat they care for us when they don't--and whose fault is that but ours?There's a deal of rot talked about lords of creation--when a man isn'table to be lord of himself. O, women are very well in their way: I'venothing against them. They are just as good as we--better, very likely;and wiser, for they don't idealize us as we do them. "

"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very useful one to have. I seeyou must have found a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:--why, man, you're as red as her father's beets. I congratulate you, Jim: I do, heartily. As you say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck by theflint of Opportunity on the steel of Desire; and for the rest, you canenrich her practical native virtues with the golden hues of yourimagination. She'll suit you just as well as any of these proud cityfieddamsels--after you've sent her a term or two to boarding school; andshe'll be more content to stay up here than the city girl would. "

I paused to view my work, and was satisfied. The shadows of wrath anddisgust were chasing each other over my friend's intelligentcountenance. You see, I get so browbeaten at home that I must avengemyself on somebody now and then; and of course, it has to be a man. Andthen it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves all he is getting. So Iwent on. 

"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be content; and what means allyour wild talk of last night and this morning, as if you had somethingon your conscience? You haven't--you wouldn't--No, you're not that kindof a man. Well then, what in thunder have you been making all this fussabout, and pitching into me for?"

He suppressed something with a gulp: I think it was not an expression ofgratitude or affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never knows how to takeyou. In the name of Satan and all the devils, what are you after now?"

"I'm not after anything in the name of the gentlemen you mention; theyare no friends of mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better name onit, and I'm after getting you to say what you mean, as we agreed--thoughit seems to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon travellers, andmisleading a confiding friend now? I never knew such a man for beatingabout the bush, and talking nonsense. " (I remembered this apothegm ofJane's, which sounded well, and fitted in nicely just here. )

He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake them well, and put themtogether carefully, before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was obscure, or even enigmatical; but I thought you might understand. Forgive me if Ihave been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have gone through a gooddeal, until I hardly know myself. It is base enough for a man to be thusat the mercy of mere externals--and I used to think I could practice theStoic doctrine! But to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like, adespicable creature. I knew a case that may serve in a way toexplain--not to justify--my treatment of you. Say it was years ago; theman met, in a friend's house, a lady who showed him the utmost kindness. She was used to all deference, till she and every one regarded it as herright--as it was. And he--it's not pleasant to tell--he ended byinsulting her. I always understood how that fellow never could bear tomention her name, nor to hear it; how any reminder of her, or contactwith the friends through whom he met her, would upset him. He would getconfused, and some of his self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads. I suppose you never knew how that could be, Bob. "

"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that; but I've been near enoughto imagine, and make allowances. Your friend must have thought a gooddeal of the lady, in spite of his insulting her. He apologized, ofcourse?"

"Certainly, and then took himself off, and kept out of her way everafter. It was all he could do. "

"Just how did he insult her? It could hardly have been intentional. "

"O no. He had had misfortunes, or something of the kind, and she took ahumane interest in him--tried to help him, no doubt. Women often do suchthings, I believe; it is very creditable to them, but liable to bedangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes fools enough tomisinterpret it. Well, this particular beast took it into his woodenhead that she cared for him--in a personal way, you know; and--youwouldn't think a man could be such an infernal ape, would you?--he toldher so. "

"He planned beforehand to tell her so--thought that was the right cardto play, the proper way of wooing?"

"You make him worse than he was. It came out unawares--he was surprisedinto it. The conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood fora moment. That was all, and it was quite enough. "

"What did the lady do then?"

"She was naturally and properly indignant and contemptuous; made him seehis place. He took it, and took his departure. "

"Did it never enter your friend's wise head that he might havemismanaged the affair in some other way than the one you mention; forinstance, in going off so speedily?"

"No other course was possible. Enough of this, Bob: he bore the penaltyof his offence. "

"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a student of human nature I liketo study such, and master all the facts. You say it never occurred tohim that the worst part of his offence might be his levanting in suchhaste? that it might have been a more appropriate act of penitence towait a day, or five minutes, and give the lady a chance to forgive him?"

"How can you make such low suggestions? The man was not a scoundrel atheart: at least he had always passed for a gentleman before, and thoughthimself such. "

"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he was a singularly modestyouth. So he never thought afterwards that there might have been a basisof fact for the fancy that made the trouble?"

"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it in merely as an illustration, that you might see how a man can be affected--even his characterchanged--by the recollection of such a blunder. It would destroy hisself-respect. "

"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a thing to lose forever, andthis illustration of yours may serve to pass the time till you are readyto talk of your own affairs, which you say it somehow illustrates. Didyour friend never think that the girl might have led him on, eitherseriously or for mere amusement? If she did, that would be some excusefor him. "

"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard. All sorts of thoughtswill offer themselves to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose; buthe knew her too well to admit any that lowered her. O no, he saw thefault was all his. At the moment he was bewildered, and could notrealize the sudden change, nor what he had done; so his apology (if Iremember that part of his story) may have been inadequate in manner, however suitable in words. Apart from that, which could not be mendedafterwards, he did all he possibly could. "

"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow did much worse than you seemto realize. Stare as much as you like: if he is still a friend of yours, I am sorry for him, as for one who has committed a most outrageousblunder and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right had he to think ofhimself alone? You say the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a realinterest in him? Then suppose the interest went no further than hethought: what business had he to burden her mind with a brokenfriendship and the feeling that she had helped to spoil his life? Orsuppose the interest in him did go further. What do you and he knowabout a woman's feelings?"

He was pale now, and wild in the eyes. "Your last supposition isimpossible. For the other--you may possibly be right. He never thoughtshe would care--or that he could do anything but what he did. "

"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I would write to him to-morrowand give him a lecture--supposing they are both alive and free. And ifthis affair was anyway parallel to your own, of which you won't talk, Ihope it may be a lesson to you--a warning, if you need one. Do yousuppose women, of the high-minded and superior sort, have no hearts, noconsciences, no sense of the duties of humanity? They have a blankedsight more than you and your friend seem to have, I can tell you. You'dbetter sleep on this, and wake with some enlarged ideas. As you declineto tell me anything of yourself, and so I can't help you there, I'mgoing to bed. "

XXIX. 

SUBMISSION. 

Next day Jim was haggard and restless, and wanted to potter about thehouse. I took him to the largest stream in those parts, when our rodscame in play; and there he did some of the worst fishing I eversaw--worse than I did in May, when I had him on my mind. He has himselfon his mind now, and some one else too. He kept trying to talk, which isimpossible when you are wading. After he had lost a two-pounder andfallen into a deep hole, I got out on the bank to avoid a place wherethe water went down hill too fast--something between rapids and acascade. He came and sat on a log by me, looking disconsolate. 

"Jim, " I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps you'd better go home andwrite that letter. "

"I don't see my way yet. How can you be so positive?"

"Because I've heard the story before, and know more about it than youdo. I had a friend who was there at the time too. O, it caused sometalk, I can tell you. Did your hero suppose it would interest nobody buthimself?"

"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You don't mean--"

"O, no public talk; only the family, and people who knew the facts andcould be trusted. They were all sorry for him too; they thought he wassuch an ass. You see a performance like his can't end where it begins;it has consequences. "

"You say, 'for him too. ' They couldn't be sorry for the lady--why shouldthey?"

"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell you last night? This thing putits mark on her, in a way no man has a right to mark a woman withouther consent. See that trout jump, in the pool down yonder? I must gethim. "

"Wait a moment. What I told you about could not have been known unlessthe lady told it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand. "

"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day like this on second-handgossip, Jim; as you said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk. You go home and change your clothes and rest your brain. I know my wayhere, and I want to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for supper. Here, you can take these. "

And so I sent him off. He is biddable and humble now, and will be moreso presently; in a kind of transition state, he is. He came back in theafternoon, and sat on the bank while I pulled out the biggest fish yet. I carried home the best basket we've had; not so many specimens, but farfiner ones, than from that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed. Infishing, as in other things, a good deal depends on your state of mind. 

That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I could, like a gentleman;not that any visitors were likely to drop in, but I thought it due tothe occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure at command, and noting mymanoeuvres, did the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention to thetrout and claret, and took my time to it; though we do not have a lot ofcourses and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such necessary. Then wesettled ourselves in easy chairs before the great fireplace, where pinelogs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and this is one comfort ofthese out-of-the-way places, where fuel is plenty. 

As soon as he had a chance, he began. "There is some mystery about this, Bob. You wouldn't answer my question this morning. "

"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer any questions youlike--provided they are such as may fitly be put to the father of afamily. So fire away. "

"First then, how do you come to know so much about this?"

"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping, not as a spy--that is out ofmy line; but purely, and luckily as it proves, by accident. " And I toldhim all about it. I will not say that his jaw dropped, but his facialapparatus elongated. 

"Then Cl--she knows that you know?"

"Not a word. What do you take me for? How could I tell her?"

"But--the others know?"

"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary notions, Hartman. It washer secret, not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps you wouldhave written to the papers, or told the story at family prayers. Can'tyou see that it was impossible for me to let her know till I had had itout with you?"

"And you have stood by me, knowing all this--you are still my friend?"

"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider, my natural loathing andcontempt for the beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable of suchconduct might have led me to extremities. O, I endorse all thecompliments you have paid yourself. But there is my interesting family;the twins have quite a regard for you, and Herbert. And so has my wife;she doesn't know you as well as I do. And my sister--a superior person, though too soft-hearted, whom I cherish with a deep fraternalaffection--she has been besieging me with intercessions, and melting myobduracy with her tears; and that for one who has made all this coil, and whose qualities have been too well enumerated by himself. "

"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness, Bob: I told you shewas the right sort. But you said just now they did not know. "

"Only by surmise, and inference from your hasty departure, andfrom--subsequent developments. Women are not wholly fools, Jim: they arejust as good as we; perhaps better, and sometimes wiser. O, they arevery well in their way. Let us bear with them, James, and allow fortheir redeeming traits. "

"Don't hit a man with his own words when he is down, Bob. But--there isAnother, whom you've not mentioned. "

"So there is: you didn't mention her, either. Come to think of it, thereis another member of my household, whom we have overlooked in thisdiscussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of consideration. "

"Of course I know who is first with you: I am content to come in a badsecond. You haven't--I suppose--any word--from Her?"

"What do you take her for? Ladies can't do that sort of thing. See here, Hartman, don't get on that line again. She is used to due respect. "

His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing else. What have you to say to methen?"

"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound you, it's your turn to say thingsnow. "

"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am ready to make my submission, if it will do any good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be playingyour games on me now, Bob. "

There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a good look at him, and sawthat he was doing the contrite as well as I could expect. He will do itbetter without a middleman when he gets the chance; he'll hardly lapseinto the other style again soon. All I have to do is to secure herposition meanwhile. 

"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on the witness-stand now. "

"Tell me about Her, Bob. "

"She is changed. Of old, one never knew what to expect of her. Now sheis different. No stale customs about her, my boy. "

"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety, ' I suppose you mean. Yes, so Ifound--but that was my own fault. Some might prefer your version. Butyou don't imply--"

"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself about that. I thought youknew that she is chary of her confidences, and that none of us is givento seeking them. She has mentioned your name once in all this time, andthen to say that you and I were great clumsy things--which is true;measurably of me, of you most eminently. "

"What chance is there for me then?" He was discouraged again. Jim is sofoolish; he gets exalted and depressed on the slightest provocation. Perhaps I was like that once, but it was long ago. 

"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose I would have come if sheobjected? Make what you can out of that. --You needn't make too much ofit either: go slow, now. You see she doesn't like to be thwarted in herbenevolent plans; and you were a wild man, to be reclaimed andcivilized. Instead of submitting like a decent savage, you broke looseall at once, and left her to feel that she had done you harm instead ofgood. You are the only fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't seehow you had the cheek to do it. Why, man, you have got to learn mannersif you want to associate with that kind. She could do better than youany day; but a wilful woman must have her way, and a gentleman usuallylets her have it. --Now there you go again. I didn't say what her waymight be in this case, did I? How should I know what she wants of you?Probably just to smooth you down, and be friends, and see you behave. The other supposition, as you said last night, is too wildly impossible. You ought to be glad to meet her on any terms she may choose to make, and thankful and proud to undergo any penance of her imposing, afteryour conduct, and the annoyance it has caused her and all of us. Mostwomen, in her place, would let you stay in the woods and eat your heartout. Perhaps she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All I know isthat you owe her reparation. You ought to go on your knees from here tothe avenue, even if you have to come back on foot. "

"You have gained in insight since August, Bob. You express my views withaccuracy--though one can hardly talk of these matters to another man. Ialways honored you for holding Her in such esteem. But practically, whatam I to do?"

"That is not easy to say, James: it can hardly be plain sailing. Ifwomen were not more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts, youwould have no chance to do anything. And the finer grain they are of, the more embarrassing it becomes; with her sort it is peculiarlydifficult. I know, from long and trying experience; I have to mind myp's and q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one of these farmers'daughters, as you nearly led me to believe last night--there's nothingto get mad about--it would have been much simpler and easier for you. Ifit were that other man, I should say to him, Write to the lady, if youthink that safe: I don't advise it. But if you had a friend who knew herwell, and was a person of capacity and resource and great tact andapproved discretion, and willing to employ all these qualities in yourservice--"

"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I don't see what else I can do. I'm everlastingly obliged to you, of course. "

"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice mess you'd make of it byyourself. You have no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind eversince you left us at Newport; nor how awkward it is, even for me, toapproach a girl of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy on such asubject. But I'm ready to go on suffering in your cause, James, even ifit be for years. "

"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry it up, old man, now you'vegot a start. Don't let the injury to Her and the weight on my consciencego on accumulating. What you do, do quickly. "

"So you'd like me to rush off to-morrow? There's gratitude. No, sir; Imust think the matter over, and I may have to consult you about details. Besides, they are all exercised about my health, and expect me to makemy week out. Your case is not a strong one, James; all depends on theway it is put. I will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue haste. Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit the weary head whence shehas fled so long. In simpler language, keep still and do as I tell you, and don't bother. "

I took pen and ink to my room, and indited a home epistle. It informedMabel that I was progressing toward recovery, and expected to ship somelarge trout, carefully packed in ice; also that she was a true prophet, and the other business in hand was moving just as she had foretold. Ienclosed a brief note to Clarice, which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine, "and signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a cartoon for Jane, whichI sat up late to design and execute. It represented a small lover, transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself before a HaughtyDamsel of High Degree. This work of art, with the subjoined effusions, will keep up their spirits till I get home. 

XXX. 

WASTED ADVICE. 

I will not tell you what more we did that week, nor how many wagonloadsof big game we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to make war uponthe monarchs of the forest: perhaps their hides and horns are on view inmy library, and perhaps not. Nor will you expect any more scenery of me, seeing how I have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures youhave already enjoyed: I don't desire to advertise Jim's retreat toomuch, and spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and restive, but feelingmuch better than when I came, and ready to do anything I wished--ofcourse. But he wanted to talk all the time, and ask questions: he keptme busy pacifying him, till I was tired. Rational conversation onserious subjects is good, but to be thus forever harping on smallpersonal feelings and relations makes one realize that Silence isGolden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish Jim would have someoccasional flashes of taciturnity, like Macaulay. 

The day before I left, while we were burying a calf I had shot bymistake, he said, "Bob, do you remember my asking you once, in a purelysuppositious way, what you would do if I were to quarrel with--Her?"

"O yes. But the farmer that owned this late lamented beast ought to bepaid for it. "

"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after you're gone, and save yourfeelings. Well, you said you'd stand by both of us. "

"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend feelings on a misguidedheifer? It got in the bushes where you said I might look for a deer, andhere's a ten on account; you can write me if it costs more. Mysympathies, James, are reserved for nobler animals when they make worsemistakes. "

"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your word; but you were pretty roughon me. "

"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of us. I had to open your eyes;and I don't want you to try those tricks again. If you do, I may have toshoot you by mistake. "

"You would have been welcome to shoot me last week. Why did you leave meso long in the dark, Bob?"

"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from our side? It's true you needsomebody to take care of you; but, you see, I have others to look after, and so can't devote myself exclusively to you: you'd better get akeeper. It was Jane who urged my coming up here. I always meant to, butI couldn't till Clarice suggested it. "

"She suggested it, did she? You never told me that before. "

"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes you fly off the handle inthis way. She merely said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that Ilooked badly and needed a change; she said nothing about my coming here. She has a regard for me; whether you are anybody in her eyes remains tobe seen. Don't jump to conclusions, now. The Princess is not a person totake liberties with, as I've learned by repeated lessons. "

"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for me. I suppose it would hardlydo for me to go back with you?"

"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted, and so would some others;but--you know as well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's pulse, andproceed very gingerly. Possess your soul in what patience you can tillyou hear from me. See here, Hartman; with your views, and yourwell-grounded aversion to domestic and even social life, a little ofthis sort of thing ought to go a long way. I should think you'd beunwilling to risk contact with the world again. A child that will playabout the cars, you know, after it's once been run over--"

"O, but you have opened my eyes to a sacred duty. Honor is aboveself-preservation. I want to purge my conscience, you see. "

"Then do that and pause there. It was your vaulting ambition whichoverleaped all bounds before. If you get into another row, you may haveto stay in it. I have full power of attorney, you say; well, I may haveto make all sorts of promises for you before I can get you leave toreturn to duty, and you'll be expected to keep them. You don't know howdifficult that will be for your unbridled inexperience; you'll becabined, cribbed, confined within the dull limits of Propriety. It wouldbe much better for you to be content with a correspondence, if you canget as far as that. You could expound your penitence and changed viewsby mail, and have time to think what you were saying, and get it inshape; whereas, if you plunge into the cold and heartless world again, you'll probably get into more trouble, and I can't come up here to setyou straight again--not before next May. You were right, James: there isnothing in common between you and the world. Why expose yourself to itstemptations, its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying forms? Thisatmosphere is so much purer; there is less of Vanity and Woe up here. Stay where you are well off. Clarice can write a pretty good letter whenshe chooses; I'll try to fix it that way for you. " But he would notaccept this reasonable view, and insisted on my getting permission forhim to come down before Christmas, and as much sooner as possible. 

So nobody but he could drive me to the cars; he filled the fifteen mileswith charges and reminders. As the train moved off, he was waving hishat, his face radiant with hope and pathetic with confidence. He looksten years younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow he is to callhimself a Pessimist. 

XXXI. 

RESULTS REPORTED. 

I reached home in the early evening. The servant told me at the doorthat Mrs. T. Was in attendance on Master Herbert, who had fallen overthe banisters and injured his nasal organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel metme with no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see by your face thatit is all right--as I always said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is inthe library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of course; he always does. It is not at all serious. The dear child has been feeling better sincewe heard from you, and taking more exercise. Clarice has the first rightto your news. "

I found her, and dropped on my knees. She looked at me, not so sweetlyas of late. "Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of your bad habitof untimely jesting. "

"You have. I realize the solemnity of the occasion, if you do not. Myname is James--no, that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy. Yousee before you a banished man who has justly incurred his sovereign'sdispleasure, and has repented day and night. This posture, perhapsunseemly in the father of a family, expresses the other fellow's stateof mind. He's afraid to come himself, and so he sent me. "

She looked at me again, and saw that I was serious. You see, thesedelicate matters have to be managed delicately. I can't do theunmitigated tragedy business as well as Hartman might, and yet I had tomeet the requirements of the situation, and the Princess' expectations, which are always high. People who have their own affairs of this kind toconduct might sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a leaf out ofmy book, and mixing the difficult passages with a little--a verylittle--chastened and judicious humor; then they would avoid overdoingit, and sending the lady off disgusted. 

"Does he take all the blame?"

"Absolutely: he did from the first moment. He can't come here to say sotill he's allowed, and he can't get up till you give him a token offorgiveness. "

She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and soothing to the penitent--orwould have been if he had been there to get it in person. I took itsimply on his account. 

"Keep still now, and let me think. "

I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while well suited to the lighterforms of ladies, is inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeplydistressing when I am obliged to maintain it for more than five minutes;for that reason I don't go to church as much as I might. But I had tokeep quiet while she did her thinking. May it be recorded to my credit!I would bear a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have to. 

At last she finished her cogitations. "O, get up, Robert; I forgot. Whatelse have you to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"

I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a secondary consideration. 

"The supper can wait while I have your work to do. I'll tell youanything you care to know: he wants to have no secrets from you. But ithas all been graphically summed up already. A famous orator of old tolda young fellow who went to him to learn how to speak a piece, 'Act it. 'That's what I've been doing the last half hour: I didn't think it wouldtake so long. "

I rubbed my knees, which were still sore: the library carpet isreasonably thick, but it was not built for devotional uses, "I supposeHartman would be glad to stay down there all night if he had the chance. But he'd be awkward about it--infernally awkward. You see, he has had nopractice in this kind of thing; he doesn't know your ways as I do. Iwonder if you will ever get him into as good training as you have me. "

I put in this light badinage to relieve any embarrassment she mightfeel--not that she could show any such if she tried, but for what youand I know even she might feel it--and to let her get used to thesituation. But she did not seem to care for it. "That's enough for now, Robert. Go and get your supper. " She said this in a weary tone. My heartsank. 

"Princess dear, have I offended you? I meant it all right. Have I doneanything wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"

She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But go now. I'll talk more to youto-morrow. "

Now I thought I had done this up in the most superior style, and thatshe would be pleased for once. But the ways of women are past man'sunderstanding. 

Jane awaited me in the dining-room with viands and an anxious brow, andwould scarcely let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature. She sentthe servant out, and ministered to my wants herself. 

"Brother, you look downcast. Have you returned with empty hands?"

"I have brought some of the finest trout you ever saw--not in mere sizeperhaps, but in flavor, colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me tocarry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you? And I would havebrought some venison, but you don't care for it. You told me once thattheir eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a shame to kill them. Ialways try to please you, so I thought I would let them live. --Yes, thank you, I have brought back more health than I took away: I may beable now to stand the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving. --O, Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you know: where is your sense ofpropriety? I advised him to stay up there where he is safe, and nottempt the shafts and arrows any more. What, I 'haven't done anythingthen, after all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than a serpent'stooth: if Lear had been in my place, he would have talked about athankless sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful task, and fewmen could have carried it through to so happy an end. And when I comeback hungering for sympathy--I told you what my nature was--you meet mewith cold words and suspicious looks. It is enough to make one weep, andlong for the silent grave. If it were Hartman, you would do the weeping, no doubt. Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set above yourbrother--you have no idea of his harshness, his violence, his embitteredprejudice and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness andpersuasive force with which I expelled the demons that possessed him, and brought him to his right mind. O, he has had an overhauling; he willtake care how he does it again. But he is all right now. "

"I wonder at that, after his being in your hands for a week. Your tendermercies were cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this? Is shesatisfied?"

"She ought to be, but she says nothing at all; couldn't take in themagnitude of my news at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break itto her delicately, and with light touches of humor, to relieve anystrain there might be. "

"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater, no doubt. You willserenade her next with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that adelicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not share your peculiar viewof humor, nor do I. Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your tone, as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard work for her. Well, what doesMr. Hartman say?--Don't tell me anything that is private, or belongs toClarice alone. "

"O, you may hear most of it. He says all sorts of things--anything youlike. You see he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any longer, so Ihave full power to represent him. "

"That is definite, and convenient for you, whatever it may be to others. Of course a man will promise anything when he has an object to gain. Isuppose you left him in the depths of despair and on a pinnacle ofecstasy at once. "

"That is about it. Let us be thankful that you and I are well beyondthese follies. --My dear, I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honorI wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of mind and dignity ofcharacter lift you far above such idiotic transports, and give you aright to despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some degree evenmyself. No man is worthy of you, Jane: you know you never would look atany of them. What did I tell you about your looks? Except Clarice, andperhaps I ought to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by far thehandsomest woman I've seen since I left home. "

"After your week among the belles of Wayback, that compliment seemsstrained. O, I see: Clarice was not in the right mood just now, and yourtide of geniality rolled back upon itself, so that it has to break looseon some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow, and mustpractice smooth things meantime to say then. --Ah, it is both, is it?"

"Sister, you are an external conscience--except that you won't approvewhen I have done the right thing, and done it well. You would beinvaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and Clarice will get on; and hethinks a heap of you. If he don't suit her on further inspection, ormakes any more blunders, you might take him in hand and make a man ofhim. "

"So as to keep him in reach as material for you? Robert, if you want meto comfort you when Clarice is gone, you will have to make your lighthumor much lighter yet, and let me select subjects for its exercise. "

"Now, now--do you think I would offer you secondhand goods? If I hadknown him then as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in June asshe proposed, and fixed it the other way. It would have saved no end ofbother. "

"And deprived you of a source of huge amusement, and an unprecedentedfield for the display of your peculiar talents. Do you think men andwomen are mere puppets for you to play with? You would make but a poortenth-rate Providence--though you may have succeeded in this case. Tellme how you did it. "

"I showed him that he was all wrong. He knew that already, but thoughtshe didn't care. I told him she did. "

"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this your diplomacy?"

"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said her interest in him wasphilanthropic, and he had behaved with brutal ingratitude--like acharity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at Sunday School; so heought to yearn to come back--if she will kindly allow--and give her achance to go on reforming him or not, just as she pleases. I admittedthe purely speculative possibility that it might be otherwise--of a morepersonal and commonplace description--just to encourage him a little;but as he had said at the start that this chance was practicallynonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on the other view, which wasnew to him, and impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that was thefirst necessity. If he is cherishing any hopes of the vulgar, everydaysort, he did not get them from me. "

"And did he believe all that? If so, I must have been mistaken in theman. "

"He had to believe it. It was the simple truth: I merely arranged thecolors properly on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon andRhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one. How would you have done it perhaps, when you had to hook your fish without letting him get the bait--inducehim to commit himself, and yet not commit her at all?"

"I don't know, brother. You could not have thrown her on his generosity, of course; she would have killed herself and him and all of us, ratherthan take happiness at such a price--and I can't blame her. Yet shedespises a subterfuge. I would not tell her the details if I were you;she will not ask for them, nor want to hear them. It is a queer world:when such things have to be done--sacrificing your best friend to insurehis welfare, deceiving him in the interest of one who abhorsdeception--your eccentricities may be of more use than I had hithertosupposed possible. "

I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but in my heart I knew it washigh praise, coming from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked allmanner of questions, and kept me answering them three mortal hours. Fortunately Mabel has less curiosity, or I should not have got muchsleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated labors. But I don'tregret what I did for Hartman; _he_ believes what you tell him. 

XXXII. 

CONFESSION. 

Clarice was not at breakfast next day; but as I was going out, she metme in the hall. "Robert, can you come back at four?"

"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will stay now. "

"No, that will be early enough. I will be in the library. "

Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself again. No eagerness, nopetty curiosity, but a grand indifference, a statuesque calm, agoddess-like withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere of commonmortals. Indeed it is not she who will ask for details that any otherwoman would burn to know: a single question as to the vital point, andthen "what else have you to tell me?" The rest might keep a day, a week, a month. Her taste was always for large outlines, her mind has breadthand grasp and comprehension; when she seemed to care for little things, she was at play. In a matter like this, her secret thoughts are the mainelement; what others may think or say or do need be noticed only ascontributing material for them to work with. What has vexed her all thistime has been that the sacrilege of events had put one factor in theproblem out of reach, beyond her control: she has been used to havingall she wanted of the earth, and deigning to want but little of it andto value that little but lightly. Now that she cares for something atlast, and it is at her call again, she will weigh and measure thesituation, and all its aspects and possibilities, in the silent councilchamber of her soul, and the decision will go forth before any oneventures to ask what it may be. Stay in your cave, hermit of Wayback, and say your _Ave Clarissa_ as patiently as you can: when the edictcalls you to court, your part will be cast for you, and you will havenothing to do but say the lines. If you break bounds again and strayfrom your proper posture before the throne, or put in any more of yourirreverent gags, I am done with you. 

I have wrought your will, my Princess, and brought back your pretty toy, for you to mend or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet it is a pityto see you descend to common uses, to ordering a house and taking careof poor old Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary state, andhave men gaze at you wistfully from far below. No man can rate morehighly than I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but I don'tlike to see you put yourself in the category of mere human beings, as ifmarriage and a man were good enough for you. You will have your way, nowas always, and use me at your will: it is you who have the ordering ofthis funeral, not I. 

As she did not seem to like my style last night, I had better be soberand plain this afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without artisticembellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll have to be, for there's the guiltysecret to be unloaded. There is no excuse for keeping it to myself anylonger, now Jim has it; sooner or later she must know that I've knownall along what was not meant for me, and it may as well be done now, whatever the result. It will not please her, but I can't help that. Iwill not break my word and keep a thing from her, except as there isreason; to tell it can do no great harm now, unless to me--and that is aminor matter. 

At the hour appointed I was on deck: no one ever interrupts thePrincess, and we were undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear yourreport. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed outline merely. "

What did I tell you? This was said with an air as if she weredischarging an unwelcome duty, so that I might not feel neglected. Sheevidently resents the impertinence of circumstances in forcing her toallow me to have a hand in her private matters: it will be as much as Ican expect if she forgives me for meddling. Obeying orders, I endeavoredto be brief and business-like. 

"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He was a changed man when I gotthere--rough and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting at somemysterious crime he had committed. It was a day or two before I couldbring him to book, by methods on which I need not dwell. Detective workis not a nice business; the means has to take its justification from theend. He made his confession as if it were another's; said how superioryou were, and how basely he had repaid your condescension. He thoughtthat ended the affair, except for his lifelong remorse; hoped he mightdie soon; impossible to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light butthat of a loathsome object--regular stage part, you know, but perfectlysincere: if you like innocence, he can supply a first-class article. Iput a head on him by saying his behavior had been much more flagrantthan he realized, and the worst part of it was interfering with yourplans and going off in such a hurry; that ladies like to be consulted insuch cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness, or at leastpunish the transgressor in their own way, and not leave it all tohim. --You need not look at me like that, Princess. I know nothing ofyour feelings, and told him so. Of course I maintained your dignity:what else was I there for? And so, to do him justice, did he, as far ashe knows how. He is just where you like to have them--or would if youcared enough about them. After I had enlightened him as to his duty, itwas all simple. I gave him just sufficient hope--of pardon, I mean--tokeep him alive, and turn his despair to active penitence. The game isentirely in your hands now. He was on fire to come back with me, or towrite at once. I said he must take no more liberties, but wait forpermission. If I may venture a suggestion, you might let me tell him towrite you; then you can graciously allow him to come when you are readyfor him. "

That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative. She listened to it withclear eyes like Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear suchcases every day. Now for questions: I bet odds there will not be morethan three, and those straight to the heart of my discourse--nothingirrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental. 

"Did he say what had been his offence?"

"Presumption. He insulted you--though of course he didn't mean to--andyou very properly resented it and withered him with contempt. He neverunderstood, till I made him see it, that what he did next was worse thanthis, as emphasizing the wrong and making it--for a while--irrevocable. "

Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now, that might burn through thedarkness and bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had nothing to hide;or rather I was about to make a clean breast of it. 

"How were you able to speak so positively?"

"That is what he asked me, and therein lay such power as I had to masterhim; at least it was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer you as Ianswered him: By knowing more about the matter than he did. Princess, Ihave deceived you all along, and broken my promise to tell youeverything. I saw and overheard the quarrel. " And then I told her allabout it. 

She looked at me silently, with an expression I never saw before. Iturned away, as one turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting ona stool beside her, and I suppose my head went down. Suddenly a hand wason my forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look at me. What was yourmotive in keeping this from me?"

"O, the motives were mixed; they always are. There was my dread ofoffending you; that was selfish. And more than that, I did not want tohurt you, if it could be avoided. And most, I was not willing tocomplicate the trouble, and all but certainly make it worse. It seemedto me that you would be shocked, and disgusted, and enraged to know thata third person had intruded on so private a scene, and surprised asecret that belonged to you. Don't fancy that I was blaming you; thatwas my rough guess at how any woman would feel, most of all you: perhapsI was wrong. I thought that for you to know might widen the breach, anddestroy all chance of reconciliation. I had to think of him, as well asof you. Not as well, no; not as much--you know that; but of him too. Icould not tell you till I had told him, and made the matter right--ifyou will have it so. You will not let it turn you against him now--thisfact that I was there? It was not his fault: it was an accident, and Iam the only one to blame. I did the best I could, after such lights as Ihad. "

Still the great eyes kept burning into mine; but they did not hurt somuch as I had expected. "Did you tell Mabel and Jane of this?"

"How could I? It was your secret. What do you take me for, Clarice? Inever breathed a word of it, of course, until I had it out with Jim aweek ago, and brought him to his senses: after that I thought you oughtto know. Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew anything beyond whatlittle you might have told me, or let me see. "

Her arms were round my neck now. There was a minute or two of silence: Ireally did not know what to say next. Then she looked up, tears in hereyes, a tone I never could describe in her voice. 

"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"

I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands and draw myself up. "Don'ttalk that way, Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of this; it was amatter of course, and there is nothing new in it. I thought you knew Iwas always ready to do anything I could for you: that is an old story, as you used to say. "

The effort at dignity was not successful, for her head drooped again. Soon she raised it, a smile chasing the tears away. 

"You can triumph over Jane now. She used to say you never could keep asecret. Did you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"

"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you insist on it, but it would bemore enjoyable if they were of another sort. No more like this, if it isthe same to you. "

"You said you used this as a weapon to master him with. Why didn't youuse it on me? It might have been good for me to be mastered andoverruled. "

I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by and by--if he dares. Other menmay overrule other women, perhaps; I know my place too well. Clarice, itis not like you to talk nonsense. If I could have consulted you aboutthis--how to keep the secret, and what to do with it--it would have madethings easier for me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You don'tmean it would have done good instead of harm if I had told you earlier?"

"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother, there is so much more of youthan any of us thought!"

"So Hartman has found. But I don't want to be unduly exalted. Love isbetter than pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us all closertogether, I believe. There is only one thing to be done yet. "

"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to know everything. I will tellyou what we were talking about that wretched day, so that you may seewhat excuse there was for him, and how wrong I was. And then you cantell Jane and Mabel. "

"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there any need to tell themanything. None of us desire to pry into your affairs, but only to seethem set right. It was plain that something led up to poor Jim'sblunder, and that is enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what you likebefore he comes back, --though they won't ask it. --I will overrule youfor once, as you insist. You want to put a force upon yourself for mysake, and I will not have it; not another word of that. But--and in thiscase I am not overruling, but only suggesting--Jim is waiting all thistime. May I tell him that he can write to you?"

"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as well as his, Bob; you'verevealed so many masculine virtues that I must take them in by degrees. You've been keeping yourself in the background and putting him forward, as if I could be interested in one person only. Now let him wait a dayor two, while I think about you. "

There may have been more of these exchanges, which I do not care torepeat. What goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of a privatenature, too intimate and sacred to be whispered into the general ear. There are persons who will violate these holy confidences, and tell youwhat he said and she said when the doors were shut. I am not like them. If I appear at times to break my own rule and treat you as a member ofthe household, it is merely for your improvement, that you may see (as Itold Jim last summer) how things are arranged in a christian family: andespecially that, when any trouble of this kind invades your own humbleroof, you may know how to slay the lion and extract strength andsweetness from his carcass, as I have done. Should these pages instructbut a single brother, whether by nature or adoption, how to unwind hissister's tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous conclusion, Ishall not have penned them in vain. 

XXXIII. 

A FAMILY CONCLAVE. 

I had written to Hartman more than once since my return, telling him tokeep up his spirits and bide his time. Before long came the permissionto open a correspondence with a more important person than I. What hewrote I know not; he is probably able to do that well enough, whateverblunders he may commit when face to face. I have reason to believe hisoutpouring was answered, with excessive brevity but to the purpose, inthe one word, 'Come. ' In fact, the Princess declined (and very properly)to expend a postage-stamp on him, or to gratify him with an envelope ofher own inditing, but told me to enclose this minute but inflammatorydocument in non-explosive wrappings of my own. 

He was to arrive on a certain day in late November. The eveningprevious, as we were sitting together, Clarice--who generally prefersher own society, and I can't blame her--appeared, in our midst (if thatexpression is allowable), with an aspect of grim determination. I roseto give her a chair in the corner, but she sat down where she could seeus and we could look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant, for thiswas a most unusual proceeding; and I inwardly resolved to make it easierfor her than she meant to have it. She began with the air of an oratorwho reluctantly emerges from seclusion at his country's call, constrained to deliver matter of pith and moment. 

"It is no news that you all have shown me kindness such as passes allacknowledgment--"

She was not allowed to proceed without hindrance. Jane put forth aninterrupting hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned in her own:not that Clarice's is bigger than Jane's, but it possesses some muscularforce. Mabel opened her lips, and one of us--I will not say which--wasobliged to remind her that Miss Elliston had the floor. 

"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I have seemed cold andthankless--"

"We knew you better than that, dear, " came from both. 

"--But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a girl without naturalprotectors--"

"But you can have a natural protector whenever you like, " cried Mabel. "You might have had any number of them, for years past. "

"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or could have had, morefaithful affection and delicate consideration shown her than I. I havegiven you a great deal of trouble, and you never complained. I have comebetween you and friends--"

"My dear, " Mabel interposed again, "that is all right. Our friends willcome back. " And she nodded and looked like a female Solomon, while Janewhispered something and put her disengaged arm around the orator. 

"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You know it is not easy for me totalk of these matters--"

"That is so, " said I. "It is rarely we get a speech from Clarice on anysubject. Do keep quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go on. "

"But now I must tell you something you have no idea of. "

Here the female portion of the audience pricked up their ears, and Ibegan to be nervous. "It is about Mr. Hartman's going away in August. That was all my fault. "

"Don't you believe her, " said I. "He says it was all his fault. "

"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow, and justice must be donehim. I treated him very badly, and--"

"She didn't, " said I. "Clarice, we don't want to be dragged into allyour private squabbles, but if you will tell this disreputable story youhave got to tell it straight. Jim says you merely showed a properspirit, and so you did. "

"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?" cried Mabel and Jane together. 

"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like a villain in a cloak andslouched hat. "

Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches, till one of us had tosay, "You may as well give it up, Clarice. These women will never letyou go on; they don't know how to listen. If you were talking only tome, now--"

"Jane, you can never twit him again with not being able to keep asecret; he kept this one sacredly for three months. "

"Of course he did, " said Mabel: "I always knew it. "

"Why, Robert, you told me--, " Clarice exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't, my dear, " some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant. 

"No, I didn't know this secret, of course, " Mabel admitted: "I onlymeant that I always knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of veryextraordinary importance, and if he were certain it would ruineverything to let it out. Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"

"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?" said Jane. "Whatbusiness had he there?"

"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you must never object to his pipeagain. "

"There now, Mabel, " remarked another of the company, "you wouldn'tbelieve that the pipe was good for my health, and now you see it haspreserved the whole family. "

"I don't see that, " said the troublesome Jane: "what was the use of yourbeing there intermeddling?"

"Jane, " said one severely, "if you will be still, you will probablylearn. How can you expect to hear anything when you keep on interruptingClarice like this?"

"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he thus saw and heard he mostpatiently, and heroically, and from the noblest motives--"

"Excuse me, ladies, " said I. "My pipe is not handy, but I must go outand smoke a cigar. I want to see a man--"

"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that will provide for both of them. You will sit down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to be overruledthis time. "

"It would give me the greatest pleasure to hear you out, my dear, butyou know your health is delicate, and you are not accustomed to publicspeaking. This is the longest oration you ever made: Jane's constantinterruptions are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I were you, Iwould rest now, and finish this up to-morrow. "

"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried the irrepressible Jane. "He isafraid of your exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice, and tell uswhat other iniquities he has committed, besides deceiving Mabel and meabout this, while he was questioning us all the time, and pretending toimpart all he knew. "

"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well stare; he kept this absolutely tohimself, till he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"--sheblushed a little--"that is why things are as they are. "

I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said. 

"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness. You see, Mabel, what greatresults may spring from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to admitthat I am the guardian angel and protecting genius of you all. "

"Well, Clarice, " said Jane, "I will own that my estimate of his talentshas risen lately; but then my confidence in his moral character hasfallen in the same degree. He does tell such dreadful falsehoods. "

"It is not quite as if he told them for love of them, simply for thepleasure he takes in falsehood itself. You must allow for his motives. "

"Yes, " said Mabel, "his motives are always excellent, whatever his wordsand actions may be. You remember the man in the Bible, who was deliveredto Satan for his soul's sake; and I have heard Robert himself say thatin ascending a mountain you often have to go down hill. "

"She means, " I explained, "that on the rare occasions when I employfiction, I do it purely in the interests of Truth. That goddess isimperfectly provided with garments--excuse me for stating so scandalousa fact, but it is so. Now this might have been well enough in Edenbefore the fall, but it will not do now; so we have to make the poorcreature presentable, and pay her milliner's bills, which are oftenhigh. It would have been far more congenial to my candid nature to tellyou all at once what I saw and heard that day in August; but such acourse might have been attended with unpleasant consequences. If youwill all forgive me, I will try not to do it again. "

"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother, " said Jane with a judicialair, "unless Clarice does; and that appears doubtful. I will be guidedentirely by her. "

"I have managed my own affairs so well without help, that you willnaturally all wish to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me to do;but since Robert's misconduct has done no great harm, and rather thancome between brother and sister, I will--yes, I will forgive him. " Sherose majestically, signed to me to do the same, and gave me both hands, with the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood; we made an impressivetableau. "And since you are all so quiet at last, I may finish myspeech, and state the reason for this act of leniency. As Mr. Hartman'sconversion is to be completed this time without fail, it is plainlynecessary that he should find us a united family. "

XXXIV. 

TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY. 

I would have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival by sundry pleasant andappropriate remarks; but impressive warnings and entreaties had reachedme privately from three distinct quarters, urging me to efface myself onthis occasion, and keep in the background. I complied with thesesuggestions, and there were no tumultuous rejoicings over the returningprodigal. Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive warmth: Claricewas rather stately and very calm; to look at her, you would have thoughtthis was an ordinary call. When they talk about my duplicity, they meanthat they want a monopoly of the article themselves. The visitor flushedand trembled like a boy, till I felt sorry for him, and would haveoffered him something to drink if they had given me a chance. Women areso queer about such matters: instead of letting the poor man go off withme, they pretended not to notice his confusion, and talked about theweather and mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss suchfrivolities. This soon got to be a bore, and I went to the newsmoking-room, inviting him to follow when he needed rationalconversation. He did not come at all, and I found afterwards that mywife and sister had gone away presently, and left him alone withClarice--and they such sticklers for Propriety. 

I expected to have some fun watching this tender pair; but I wasdisappointed. There never is anything sensational to see when thePrincess is in action: she carries an atmosphere of quietness about withher, and imposes it on those who come within her circle. Hartman brokerules and bounds once last summer, but he seems unlikely to do it again. The rest of us kept out of the way as much we could, and gave themscope. I said to Jane that we ought to get up a torchlight procession, or a big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but she scornfully toldme to wait at least till the engagement was announced. When he was withme--which was little, for his time seemed to be much occupied, and hisweakness for tobacco nearly cured--he once or twice attempted somedrivel about disinterested friendship and undying gratitude; but Istopped that. If there be one thing for which I profess no sympathy, itis puling sentiment. He apparently did not care to discuss the progressof his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful nuisance to have tolisten to lovers' talk, and I had enough of that at Wayback, when Icould not help myself. At our time of life a man ought to be occupiedwith serious pursuits. But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave forten years, and waked up with his beard well grown and a large stock ofemotional aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose Clarice likes thiskind of thing, but I wonder at her taste. 

They had been at it a week or so when I stumbled upon them unawares oneday in the library. I tried to retreat, but they both called to me tostop. 

"Robert, " said she, "we have quarrelled again. That is, he has. "

"Yes, Bob, " said Jim, "and you'll have to straighten it out for us asyou did before. "

"This is too much, " said I. "You had better take the next train forhome, and by next May my health will need another change and I'll comeup and attend to your case. "

"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice wants to go to the woodsand live there the year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice. "

"Robert, he wants to live in the world like other people, just for mysake, and I can't permit such a sacrifice either. "

"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my lambs. Each of you will haveto bear and forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive selfishnessand hidebound eccentricities, to forego the sweet privacy and freedom ofself-indulgence which have marked your innocent lives hitherto. When theglamour of young romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed off thepeach and the juice is crushed out of the strawberry, there will remainonly the hard reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation. You are wise to commence practising this virtue at once. "

"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob. It would be as you say, nodoubt--with her--if she had to live at Wayback as she proposes. You havebeen there enough to know that it is no place for her; tell her so. Shehas confidence in you, and she won't believe me. "

"It would be as you say, Robert--with him--if he had to live among theconstraints and shams which his soul abhors. You know it, and you havegreat influence over him. Tell him so. "

"You are both right, and it is clear there is no place where you canlive--together. James, she is a fragile flower; transplanted to yoursterile soil, she would soon wither and drop from the stalk. Clarice, heis fastidious, critical, and intense; made a part of the things hedespises, the torturing contact with pomps and vanities would soonstrike his knell. My little dears, your paths were never meant tounite, and the best thing you can do is to part in peace. James, this isall imagination, and you know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that ruralnymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and be much less exacting andexpensive. Clarice, you are pushing philanthropy too far: thepicturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged romantic woes, havemisled you as to the nature of your interest in him. I don't thinkmatrimony would suit you at all: you had much better stay with us, whomyou can leave whenever you please. You could not do that so easily witha husband, and you don't like divorce. My children, pause: you will soonhave had enough of each other, and then you can go your several ways inpeace. "

"See here, old man; it is too late for this kind of wisdom, after allthe pains you have taken to bring us together when we were partedindeed. You ought to be proud of your work, and ready to give us yourblessing. "

"Don't mind Robert, James. You must take him as you find him, and itencourages him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All you need is togive him time--generally a great deal of it, to be sure. When you haveknown him twenty years or so as I have, you will understand that heusually has some tolerably good sense at the bottom of his mind, underneath a mountain of foolishness; he would say it is like the beerafter he has blown the froth off. --Get to the sense as soon as you can, dear, for we can't well wait more than a month or two for it: we have tomake our plans. "

"I was going to say that you had better leave the engagement unlimitedas to time and say nothing about it, for then you can get tired of oneanother at leisure, and part without embarrassment. But if you are insuch indecent haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist you overthe precipice as gently as may be. You will have to compromise, andhumor each other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to Florida or thePacific, till you feel less exclusive; then come back to us. The houseis big enough, and you can make your winter home here: we can't let youhave her on any other terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when theweather opens, and put in the spring and fall there: some of us willcome up, or I will anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane: shewanted to catch some. It would not be safe for Herbert; he is too fondof bears. If you find the whole summer there too much bliss, as youwill, you can divide with us at Newport. That is fair to all parties, isn't it?"

"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at least, and give us time tothink. But there is a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert, he wants to give up his well-considered principles of so many years, andjust for me--however he may deny it. Now I say he was mainly right. TakeLife in the large view, and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Havewe any right to overlook the misery of millions, because a few of uslike each other and are outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do soweak a thing as change his standards from no better reason than--well, that you went up to him for the fall fishing. "

"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist apostle, you will convertall the town, and that will never do. --You hear her, Jim? A wise mansometimes has to take his sentiments from a wiser woman. But seriously, I am ashamed of you. Having used your eyes and brains long ago andreceived a true impression, what right have you to cast it away, and bemisled by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life--or of some particularsection of it? If he that loves a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but aredhot donkey, what shall we say of him who makes these his weatherguageto test the universe by?"

"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new impression, which is truerthan the other--and deeper. As you told me last summer, a world withClarice in it is quite different from a world without her. Princess--ifI may use his term--Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at least he usedto. You entered into his scheme of things as well as mine. Such is hisduplicity, perhaps you never suspected the fact. "

"That is strange, when he has taken such pains to get me off his hands. I could hardly believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority; it wasan unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher. But really now, are yougoing to uphold him in this--against me?"

"Far from it: you will make him think what you please--only your ownopinion on this point, though so strongly held and stated, is somewhatrecent. Let us have a middle ground to start from, on which all partiescan meet, as in the other case. When things go to suit us, let us callit a good world: when they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we canconsider the suffering millions too; but then we ourselves are somebody, and have our own point of view. So when you two look at each other, andcontemplate your own bliss, you will be optimists; and when you read thesuicides in the papers, and think of the Siberian exiles and my laborsin Water Street, it will be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimistin the morning, and the reverse at night. It depends on the impressionyou receive, as Jim says; and there are a good many impressions, and notall alike. Often you can be betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way:I am sure that ought to suit anybody. "

Jim agreed that it would do very well, but Clarice seemed undecided. "Itseems so frivolous to look at Life in this easy way, just becausewe--well, are not unhappy, and not without friends. You never doyourself justice, Robert--or very rarely. If we have been favoredbeyond others, we ought to be earnest and serious. "

"My dear, Time will check your frivolity, and mitigate the morbidbitterness of Jim's gloomy contempt of life--or vice versa. If I havegot you mixed up, I beg pardon: you have changed positions so, itconfuses me. But as we are to be earnest and serious, we should seek tocommunicate our happiness to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"

The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel and Jane came with eagersmiles and effusive congratulations. It is curious, the stress which thefeminine intellect lays on a mere point of time, or external event, likethe celebration of a union between two young people, or the firststatement that such a union is to be formed; whereas we all know thatthe real event is mental, or at most resides in the clash andconcurrence of two minds, assisted by the bodies they inhabit. Ourfriends had probably come to a sufficient understanding the night ofJim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the thing was practically settledwhen I brought back his submission, and even he must have had senseenough to know it was when she wrote him that one word, 'Come. ' So whaton earth is the use of making a fuss about it now? But I will not pressthis view, which may be too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind. 

There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I believe--but not of thePrincess' shedding--just as if something had really happened. I wassorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish. Then he, or Clarice, or both ofthem, to cover the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol my virtuesand services--in which there was no sense at all; for suppose you havedone a good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly cackling about it:the thing is done, let it stand on its own merits or demerits. To stopthis, I proposed a division of the honors. "There is Herbert, who isunhappily in bed now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only one ofus all who dared ask Clarice what she had done to you, Jim. And here isClarice herself, who discovered that my health was failing and neededthe air that blows over troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here isJane, who urged me on--drove me, I may say. But for her, I might neverhave had courage to beard you two dreadful people, and ask you what youmeant by such conduct. "

Jane was receiving due attention, when Mabel spoke. "You must notoverlook me, as if I had had no hand in it. I approved and encouraged itfrom the start: you know I did. And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, andthey all felt so badly and thought you would never come back, I alwayssaid it would be right--always. "

THE END.