A PASSION IN THE DESERT BY HONORE DE BALZAC Translated by Ernest Dowson "The whole show is dreadful, " she cried coming out of the menagerie ofM. Martin. She had just been looking at that daring speculator"working with his hyena, "--to speak in the style of the programme. "By what means, " she continued, "can he have tamed these animals tosuch a point as to be certain of their affection for----" "What seems to you a problem, " said I, interrupting, "is really quitenatural. " "Oh!" she cried, letting an incredulous smile wander over her lips. "You think that beasts are wholly without passions?" I asked her. "Quite the reverse; we can communicate to them all the vices arisingin our own state of civilization. " She looked at me with an air of astonishment. "But, " I continued, "the first time I saw M. Martin, I admit, likeyou, I did give vent to an exclamation of surprise. I found myselfnext to an old soldier with the right leg amputated, who had come inwith me. His face had struck me. He had one of those heroic heads, stamped with the seal of warfare, and on which the battles of Napoleonare written. Besides, he had that frank, good-humored expression whichalways impresses me favorably. He was without doubt one of thosetroopers who are surprised at nothing, who find matter for laughter inthe contortions of a dying comrade, who bury or plunder him quitelight-heartedly, who stand intrepidly in the way of bullets;--in fact, one of those men who waste no time in deliberation, and would nothesitate to make friends with the devil himself. After looking veryattentively at the proprietor of the menagerie getting out of his box, my companion pursed up his lips with an air of mockery and contempt, with that peculiar and expressive twist which superior people assumeto show they are not taken in. Then, when I was expatiating on thecourage of M. Martin, he smiled, shook his head knowingly, and said, 'Well known. ' "'How "well known"?' I said. 'If you would only explain me themystery, I should be vastly obliged. ' "After a few minutes, during which we made acquaintance, we went todine at the first restauranteur's whose shop caught our eye. Atdessert a bottle of champagne completely refreshed and brightened upthe memories of this odd old soldier. He told me his story, and I sawthat he was right when he exclaimed, 'Well known. '" When she got home, she teased me to that extent, was so charming, andmade so many promises, that I consented to communicate to her theconfidences of the old soldier. Next day she received the followingepisode of an epic which one might call "The French in Egypt. " During the expedition in Upper Egypt under General Desaix, a Provencalsoldier fell into the hands of the Maugrabins, and was taken by theseArabs into the deserts beyond the falls of the Nile. In order to place a sufficient distance between themselves and theFrench army, the Maugrabins made forced marches, and only halted whennight was upon them. They camped round a well overshadowed by palmtrees under which they had previously concealed a store of provisions. Not surmising that the notion of flight would occur to their prisoner, they contented themselves with binding his hands, and after eating afew dates, and giving provender to their horses, went to sleep. When the brave Provencal saw that his enemies were no longer watchinghim, he made use of his teeth to steal a scimiter, fixed the bladebetween his knees, and cut the cords which prevented him from usinghis hands; in a moment he was free. He at once seized a rifle and adagger, then taking the precautions to provide himself with a sack ofdried dates, oats, and powder and shot, and to fasten a scimiter tohis waist, he leaped on to a horse, and spurred on vigorously in thedirection where he thought to find the French army. So impatient washe to see a bivouac again that he pressed on the already tired courserat such speed, that its flanks were lacerated with his spurs, and atlast the poor animal died, leaving the Frenchman alone in the desert. After walking some time in the sand with all the courage of an escapedconvict, the soldier was obliged to stop, as the day had alreadyended. In spite of the beauty of an Oriental sky at night, he felt hehad not strength enough to go on. Fortunately he had been able to finda small hill, on the summit of which a few palm trees shot up into theair; it was their verdure seen from afar which had brought hope andconsolation to his heart. His fatigue was so great that he lay downupon a rock of granite, capriciously cut out like a camp-bed; there hefell asleep without taking any precaution to defend himself while heslept. He had made the sacrifice of his life. His last thought was oneof regret. He repented having left the Maugrabins, whose nomadic lifeseemed to smile upon him now that he was far from them and withouthelp. He was awakened by the sun, whose pitiless rays fell with alltheir force on the granite and produced an intolerable heat--for hehad had the stupidity to place himself adversely to the shadow thrownby the verdant majestic heads of the palm trees. He looked at thesolitary trees and shuddered--they reminded him of the graceful shaftscrowned with foliage which characterize the Saracen columns in thecathedral of Arles. But when, after counting the palm trees, he cast his eyes around him, the most horrible despair was infused into his soul. Before himstretched an ocean without limit. The dark sand of the desert spreadfurther than eye could reach in every direction, and glittered likesteel struck with bright light. It might have been a sea oflooking-glass, or lakes melted together in a mirror. A fiery vaporcarried up in surging waves made a perpetual whirlwind over thequivering land. The sky was lit with an Oriental splendor ofinsupportable purity, leaving naught for the imagination to desire. Heaven and earth were on fire. The silence was awful in its wild and terrible majesty. Infinity, immensity, closed in upon the soul from every side. Not a cloud in thesky, not a breath in the air, not a flaw on the bosom of the sand, ever moving in diminutive waves; the horizon ended as at sea on aclear day, with one line of light, definite as the cut of a sword. The Provencal threw his arms round the trunk of one of the palm trees, as though it were the body of a friend, and then, in the shelter ofthe thin, straight shadow that the palm cast upon the granite, hewept. Then sitting down he remained as he was, contemplating withprofound sadness the implacable scene, which was all he had to lookupon. He cried aloud, to measure the solitude. His voice, lost in thehollows of the hill, sounded faintly, and aroused no echo--the echowas in his own heart. The Provencal was twenty-two years old:--heloaded his carbine. "There'll be time enough, " he said to himself, laying on the groundthe weapon which alone could bring him deliverance. Viewing alternately the dark expanse of the desert and the blueexpanse of the sky, the soldier dreamed of France--he smelled withdelight the gutters of Paris--he remembered the towns through which hehad passed, the faces of his comrades, the most minute details of hislife. His Southern fancy soon showed him the stones of his belovedProvence, in the play of the heat which undulated above the wideexpanse of the desert. Realizing the danger of this cruel mirage, hewent down the opposite side of the hill to that by which he had comeup the day before. The remains of a rug showed that this place ofrefuge had at one time been inhabited; at a short distance he saw somepalm trees full of dates. Then the instinct which binds us to lifeawoke again in his heart. He hoped to live long enough to await thepassing of some Maugrabins, or perhaps he might hear the sound ofcannon; for at this time Bonaparte was traversing Egypt. This thought gave him new life. The palm tree seemed to bend with theweight of the ripe fruit. He shook some of it down. When he tastedthis unhoped-for manna, he felt sure that the palms had beencultivated by a former inhabitant--the savory, fresh meat of the dateswere proof of the care of his predecessor. He passed suddenly fromdark despair to an almost insane joy. He went up again to the top ofthe hill, and spent the rest of the day in cutting down one of thesterile palm trees, which the night before had served him for shelter. A vague memory made him think of the animals of the desert; and incase they might come to drink at the spring, visible from the base ofthe rocks but lost further down, he resolved to guard himself fromtheir visits by placing a barrier at the entrance of his hermitage. In spite of his diligence, and the strength which the fear of beingdevoured asleep gave him, he was unable to cut the palm in pieces, though he succeeded in cutting it down. At eventide the king of thedesert fell; the sound of its fall resounded far and wide, like a sighin the solitude; the soldier shuddered as though he had heard somevoice predicting woe. But like an heir who does not long bewail a deceased relative, he toreoff from this beautiful tree the tall broad green leaves which are itspoetic adornment, and used them to mend the mat on which he was tosleep. Fatigued by the heat and his work, he fell asleep under the redcurtains of his wet cave. In the middle of the night his sleep was troubled by an extraordinarynoise; he sat up, and the deep silence around allowed him todistinguish the alternative accents of a respiration whose savageenergy could not belong to a human creature. A profound terror, increased still further by the darkness, thesilence, and his waking images, froze his heart within him. He almostfelt his hair stand on end, when by straining his eyes to their utmosthe perceived through the shadow two faint yellow lights. At first heattributed these lights to the reflections of his own pupils, but soonthe vivid brilliance of the night aided him gradually to distinguishthe objects around him in the cave, and he beheld a huge animal lyingbut two steps from him. Was it a lion, a tiger, or a crocodile? The Provencal was not sufficiently educated to know under what specieshis enemy ought to be classed; but his fright was all the greater, ashis ignorance led him to imagine all terrors at once; he endured acruel torture, noting every variation of the breathing close to himwithout daring to make the slightest movement. An odor, pungent likethat of a fox, but more penetrating, more profound, --so to speak, --filled the cave, and when the Provencal became sensible of this, histerror reached its height, for he could no longer doubt the proximityof a terrible companion, whose royal dwelling served him for ashelter. Presently the reflection of the moon descending on the horizon lit upthe den, rendering gradually visible and resplendent the spotted skinof a panther. This lion of Egypt slept, curled up like a big dog, the peacefulpossessor of a sumptuous niche at the gate of an hotel; its eyesopened for a moment and closed again; its face was turned towards theman. A thousand confused thoughts passed through the Frenchman's mind;first he thought of killing it with a bullet from his gun, but he sawthere was not enough distance between them for him to take proper aim--the shot would miss the mark. And if it were to wake!--the thoughtmade his limbs rigid. He listened to his own heart beating in themidst of the silence, and cursed the too violent pulsations which theflow of blood brought on, fearing to disturb that sleep which allowedhim time to think of some means of escape. Twice he placed his hand on his scimiter, intending to cut off thehead of his enemy; but the difficulty of cutting the stiff short haircompelled him to abandon this daring project. To miss would be to diefor CERTAIN, he thought; he preferred the chances of fair fight, andmade up his mind to wait till morning; the morning did not leave himlong to wait. He could now examine the panther at ease; its muzzle was smeared withblood. "She's had a good dinner, " he thought, without troubling himself as towhether her feast might have been on human flesh. "She won't be hungrywhen she gets up. " It was a female. The fur on her belly and flanks was glistening white;many small marks like velvet formed beautiful bracelets round herfeet; her sinuous tail was also white, ending with black rings; theoverpart of her dress, yellow like burnished gold, very lissome andsoft, had the characteristic blotches in the form of rosettes, whichdistinguish the panther from every other feline species. This tranquil and formidable hostess snored in an attitude as gracefulas that of a cat lying on a cushion. Her blood-stained paws, nervousand well armed, were stretched out before her face, which rested uponthem, and from which radiated her straight slender whiskers, likethreads of silver. If she had been like that in a cage, the Provencal would doubtlesshave admired the grace of the animal, and the vigorous contrasts ofvivid color which gave her robe an imperial splendor; but just thenhis sight was troubled by her sinister appearance. The presence of the panther, even asleep, could not fail to producethe effect which the magnetic eyes of the serpent are said to have onthe nightingale. For a moment the courage of the soldier began to fail before thisdanger, though no doubt it would have risen at the mouth of a cannoncharged with shell. Nevertheless, a bold thought brought daylight tohis soul and sealed up the source of the cold sweat which sprang forthon his brow. Like men driven to bay, who defy death and offer theirbody to the smiter, so he, seeing in this merely a tragic episode, resolved to play his part with honor to the last. "The day before yesterday the Arabs would have killed me, perhaps, " hesaid; so considering himself as good as dead already, he waitedbravely, with excited curiosity, the awakening of his enemy. When the sun appeared, the panther suddenly opened her eyes; then sheput out her paws with energy, as if to stretch them and get rid ofcramp. At last she yawned, showing the formidable apparatus of herteeth and pointed tongue, rough as a file. "A regular petite maitresse, " thought the Frenchman, seeing her rollherself about so softly and coquettishly. She licked off the bloodwhich stained her paws and muzzle, and scratched her head withreiterated gestures full of prettiness. "All right, make a littletoilet, " the Frenchman said to himself, beginning to recover hisgaiety with his courage; "we'll say good morning to each otherpresently;" and he seized the small, short dagger which he had takenfrom the Maugrabins. At this moment the panther turned her head toward the man and lookedat him fixedly without moving. The rigidity of her metallic eyes andtheir insupportable luster made him shudder, especially when theanimal walked towards him. But he looked at her caressingly, staringinto her eyes in order to magnetize her, and let her come quite closeto him; then with a movement both gentle and amorous, as though hewere caressing the most beautiful of women, he passed his hand overher whole body, from the head to the tail, scratching the flexiblevertebrae which divided the panther's yellow back. The animal wavedher tail voluptuously, and her eyes grew gentle; and when for thethird time the Frenchman accomplished this interesting flattery, shegave forth one of those purrings by which cats express their pleasure;but this murmur issued from a throat so powerful and so deep that itresounded through the cave like the last vibrations of an organ in achurch. The man, understanding the importance of his caresses, redoubled them in such a way as to surprise and stupefy his imperiouscourtesan. When he felt sure of having extinguished the ferocity ofhis capricious companion, whose hunger had so fortunately beensatisfied the day before, he got up to go out of the cave; the pantherlet him go out, but when he had reached the summit of the hill shesprang with the lightness of a sparrow hopping from twig to twig, andrubbed herself against his legs, putting up her back after the mannerof all the race of cats. Then regarding her guest with eyes whoseglare had softened a little, she gave vent to that wild cry whichnaturalists compare to the grating of a saw. "She is exacting, " said the Frenchman, smilingly. He was bold enough to play with her ears; he caressed her belly andscratched her head as hard as he could. When he saw that he wassuccessful, he tickled her skull with the point of his dagger, watching for the right moment to kill her, but the hardness of herbones made him tremble for his success. The sultana of the desert showed herself gracious to her slave; shelifted her head, stretched out her neck and manifested her delight bythe tranquility of her attitude. It suddenly occurred to the soldierthat to kill this savage princess with one blow he must poniard her inthe throat. He raised the blade, when the panther, satisfied no doubt, laidherself gracefully at his feet, and cast up at him glances in which, in spite of their natural fierceness, was mingled confusedly a kind ofgood will. The poor Provencal ate his dates, leaning against one ofthe palm trees, and casting his eyes alternately on the desert inquest of some liberator and on his terrible companion to watch heruncertain clemency. The panther looked at the place where the date stones fell, and everytime that he threw one down her eyes expressed an incredible mistrust. She examined the man with an almost commercial prudence. However, thisexamination was favorable to him, for when he had finished his meagermeal she licked his boots with her powerful rough tongue, brushing offwith marvelous skill the dust gathered in the creases. "Ah, but when she's really hungry!" thought the Frenchman. In spite ofthe shudder this thought caused him, the soldier began to measurecuriously the proportions of the panther, certainly one of the mostsplendid specimens of its race. She was three feet high and four feetlong without counting her tail; this powerful weapon, rounded like acudgel, was nearly three feet long. The head, large as that of alioness, was distinguished by a rare expression of refinement. Thecold cruelty of a tiger was dominant, it was true, but there was alsoa vague resemblance to the face of a sensual woman. Indeed, the faceof this solitary queen had something of the gaiety of a drunken Nero:she had satiated herself with blood, and she wanted to play. The soldier tried if he might walk up and down, and the panther lefthim free, contenting herself with following him with her eyes, lesslike a faithful dog than a big Angora cat, observing everything andevery movement of her master. When he looked around, he saw, by the spring, the remains of hishorse; the panther had dragged the carcass all that way; about twothirds of it had been devoured already. The sight reassured him. It was easy to explain the panther's absence, and the respect she hadhad for him while he slept. The first piece of good luck emboldenedhim to tempt the future, and he conceived the wild hope of continuingon good terms with the panther during the entire day, neglecting nomeans of taming her, and remaining in her good graces. He returned to her, and had the unspeakable joy of seeing her wag hertail with an almost imperceptible movement at his approach. He satdown then, without fear, by her side, and they began to play together;he took her paws and muzzle, pulled her ears, rolled her over on herback, stroked her warm, delicate flanks. She let him do what ever heliked, and when he began to stroke the hair on her feet she drew herclaws in carefully. The man, keeping the dagger in one hand, thought to plunge it into thebelly of the too confiding panther, but he was afraid that he would beimmediately strangled in her last convulsive struggle; besides, hefelt in his heart a sort of remorse which bid him respect a creaturethat had done him no harm. He seemed to have found a friend, in aboundless desert; half unconsciously he thought of his firstsweetheart, whom he had nicknamed "Mignonne" by way of contrast, because she was so atrociously jealous that all the time of their lovehe was in fear of the knife with which she had always threatened him. This memory of his early days suggested to him the idea of making theyoung panther answer to this name, now that he began to admire withless terror her swiftness, suppleness, and softness. Toward the end ofthe day he had familiarized himself with his perilous position; he nowalmost liked the painfulness of it. At last his companion had got intothe habit of looking up at him whenever he cried in a falsetto voice, "Mignonne. " At the setting of the sun Mignonne gave, several times running, aprofound melancholy cry. "She's been well brought up, " said thelighthearted soldier; "she says her prayers. " But this mental jokeonly occurred to him when he noticed what a pacific attitude hiscompanion remained in. "Come, ma petite blonde, I'll let you go to bedfirst, " he said to her, counting on the activity of his own legs torun away as quickly as possible, directly she was asleep, and seekanother shelter for the night. The soldier waited with impatience the hour of his flight, and when ithad arrived he walked vigorously in the direction of the Nile; buthardly had he made a quarter of a league in the sand when he heard thepanther bounding after him, crying with that saw-like cry moredreadful even than the sound of her leaping. "Ah!" he said, "then she's taken a fancy to me, she has never metanyone before, and it is really quite flattering to have her firstlove. " That instant the man fell into one of those movable quicksandsso terrible to travelers and from which it is impossible to saveoneself. Feeling himself caught, he gave a shriek of alarm; thepanther seized him with her teeth by the collar, and, springingvigorously backwards, drew him as if by magic out of the whirlingsand. "Ah, Mignonne!" cried the soldier, caressing her enthusiastically;"we're bound together for life and death but no jokes, mind!" and heretraced his steps. From that time the desert seemed inhabited. It contained a being towhom the man could talk, and whose ferocity was rendered gentle byhim, though he could not explain to himself the reason for theirstrange friendship. Great as was the soldier's desire to stay uponguard, he slept. On awakening he could not find Mignonne; he mounted the hill, and inthe distance saw her springing toward him after the habit of theseanimals, who cannot run on account of the extreme flexibility of thevertebral column. Mignonne arrived, her jaws covered with blood; shereceived the wonted caress of her companion, showing with much purringhow happy it made her. Her eyes, full of languor, turned still moregently than the day before toward the Provencal, who talked to her asone would to a tame animal. "Ah! mademoiselle, you are a nice girl, aren't you? Just look at that!So we like to be made much of, don't we? Aren't you ashamed ofyourself? So you have been eating some Arab or other, have you? Thatdoesn't matter. They're animals just the same as you are; but don'tyou take to eating Frenchmen, or I shan't like you any longer. " She played like a dog with its master, letting herself be rolled over, knocked about, and stroked, alternately; sometimes she herself wouldprovoke the soldier, putting up her paw with a soliciting gesture. Some days passed in this manner. This companionship permitted theProvencal to appreciate the sublime beauty of the desert; now that hehad a living thing to think about, alternations of fear and quiet, andplenty to eat, his mind became filled with contrast and his life beganto be diversified. Solitude revealed to him all her secrets, and enveloped him in herdelights. He discovered in the rising and setting of the sun sightsunknown to the world. He knew what it was to tremble when he heardover his head the hiss of a bird's wing, so rarely did they pass, orwhen he saw the clouds, changing and many colored travelers, melt oneinto another. He studied in the night time the effect of the moon uponthe ocean of sand, where the simoom made waves swift of movement andrapid in their change. He lived the life of the Eastern day, marvelingat its wonderful pomp; then, after having reveled in the sight of ahurricane over the plain where the whirling sands made red, dry mistsand death-bearing clouds, he would welcome the night with joy, forthen fell the healthful freshness of the stars, and he listened toimaginary music in the skies. Then solitude taught him to unroll thetreasures of dreams. He passed whole hours in remembering merenothings, and comparing his present life with his past. At last he grew passionately fond of the panther; for some sort ofaffection was a necessity. Whether it was that his will powerfully projected had modified thecharacter of his companion, or whether, because she found abundantfood in her predatory excursions in the desert, she respected theman's life, he began to fear for it no longer, seeing her so welltamed. He devoted the greater part of his time to sleep, but he was obligedto watch like a spider in its web that the moment of his deliverancemight not escape him, if anyone should pass the line marked by thehorizon. He had sacrificed his shirt to make a flag with, which hehung at the top of a palm tree, whose foliage he had torn off. Taughtby necessity, he found the means of keeping it spread out, byfastening it with little sticks; for the wind might not be blowing atthe moment when the passing traveler was looking through the desert. It was during the long hours, when he had abandoned hope, that heamused himself with the panther. He had come to learn the differentinflections of her voice, the expressions of her eyes; he had studiedthe capricious patterns of all the rosettes which marked the gold ofher robe. Mignonne was not even angry when he took hold of the tuft atthe end of her tail to count her rings, those graceful ornaments whichglittered in the sun like jewelry. It gave him pleasure to contemplatethe supple, fine outlines of her form, the whiteness of her belly, thegraceful pose of her head. But it was especially when she was playingthat he felt most pleasure in looking at her; the agility and youthfullightness of her movements were a continual surprise to him; hewondered at the supple way in which she jumped and climbed, washedherself and arranged her fur, crouched down and prepared to spring. However rapid her spring might be, however slippery the stone she wason, she would always stop short at the word "Mignonne. " One day, in a bright midday sun, an enormous bird coursed through theair. The man left his panther to look at his new guest; but afterwaiting a moment the deserted sultana growled deeply. "My goodness! I do believe she's jealous, " he cried, seeing her eyesbecome hard again; "the soul of Virginie has passed into her body;that's certain. " The eagle disappeared into the air, while the soldier admired thecurved contour of the panther. But there was such youth and grace in her form! she was beautiful as awoman! the blond fur of her robe mingled well with the delicate tintsof faint white which marked her flanks. The profuse light cast down by the sun made this living gold, theserusset markings, to burn in a way to give them an indefinableattraction. The man and the panther looked at one another with a look full ofmeaning; the coquette quivered when she felt her friend stroke herhead; her eyes flashed like lightning--then she shut them tightly. "She has a soul, " he said, looking at the stillness of this queen ofthe sands, golden like them, white like them, solitary and burninglike them. "Well, " she said, "I have read your plea in favor of beasts; but howdid two so well adapted to understand each other end?" "Ah, well! you see, they ended as all great passions do end--by amisunderstanding. For some reason ONE suspects the other of treason;they don't come to an explanation through pride, and quarrel and partfrom sheer obstinacy. " "Yet sometimes at the best moments a single word or a look is enough--but anyhow go on with your story. " "It's horribly difficult, but you will understand, after what the oldvillain told me over his champagne. He said--'I don't know if I hurther, but she turned round, as if enraged, and with her sharp teethcaught hold of my leg--gently, I daresay; but I, thinking she woulddevour me, plunged my dagger into her throat. She rolled over, givinga cry that froze my heart; and I saw her dying, still looking at mewithout anger. I would have given all the world--my cross even, whichI had not got then--to have brought her to life again. It was asthough I had murdered a real person; and the soldiers who had seen myflag, and were come to my assistance, found me in tears. ' "'Well sir, ' he said, after a moment of silence, 'since then I havebeen in war in Germany, in Spain, in Russia, in France; I've certainlycarried my carcase about a good deal, but never have I seen anythinglike the desert. Ah! yes, it is very beautiful!' "'What did you feel there?' I asked him. "'Oh! that can't be described, young man! Besides, I am not alwaysregretting my palm trees and my panther. I should have to be verymelancholy for that. In the desert, you see, there is everything andnothing. ' "'Yes, but explain----' "'Well, ' he said, with an impatient gesture, 'it is God withoutmankind. '"