A NARRATIVE OF THE MOST REMARKABLE PARTICULARS IN THE LIFE OF JAMES ALBERT UKAWSAW GRONNIOSAW, AN AFRICAN PRINCE, As related by HIMSELF. _I will bring the Blind by a Way that they know not, I will lead them in Paths that they have not known: I will make Darkness Light before them and crooked Things straight. These Things will I do unto them and not forsake them. _ Isa. Xlii. 16. BATH: Printed by W. GYE in Westgate-Street; and sold by T. MILLS, Bookseller, in King's-Mead-Square. Price Six-Pence. 1772 TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE The _Countess_ of Huntingdon; THIS NARRATIVE Of my _LIFE_, And of God's wonderful Dealings with me, is, (_Through Her LADYSHIP'S Permission_) _Most Humbly Dedicated, By her LADYSHIP'S Most obliged And obedient Servant, _ JAMES ALBERT. THE PREFACE to the READER. This Account of the Life and spiritual Experience of James Albert wastaken from his own Mouth and committed to Paper by the elegant Pen of ayoung Lady of the Town of Leominster, for her own private Satisfaction, and without any Intention at first that it should be made public. Butshe has now been prevail'd on to commit it to the Press, both with aview to serve Albert and his distressed Family, who have the soleProfits arising from the Sale of it; and likewise as it is apprehended, this little History contains Matter well worthy the Notice and Attentionof every Christian Reader. Perhaps we have here in some Degree a Solution of that Question that hasperplex'd the Minds of so many serious Persons, viz. In what Manner willGod deal with those benighted Parts of the World where the Gospel ofJesus Christ hath never reach'd? Now it appears from the Experience ofthis remarkable Person, that God does not save without the Knowledge ofthe Truth; but, with Respect to those whom he hath fore-known, thoughborn under every outward Disadvantage, and in Regions of the grossestDarkness and Ignorance, he most amazingly acts upon and influences theirMinds, and in the Course of wisely and most wonderfully appointedProvidences, he brings them to the Means of spiritual Information, gradually opens to their View the Light of his Truth, and gives themfull Possession and Enjoyment of the inestimable Blessings of hisGospel. Who can doubt but that the Suggestion so forcibly press'd uponthe Mind of Albert (when a Boy) that there was a Being superior to theSun, Moon, and Stars (the Objects of African Idolatry) came from theFather of Lights, and was, with Respect to him, the First-Fruit of theDisplay of Gospel-Glory? His long and perilous Journey to the Coast ofGuinea, where he was sold for a Slave, and so brought into a ChristianLand; shall we consider this as the alone Effect of a curious andinquisitive Disposition? Shall we in accounting for it refer to nothinghigher than mere Chance and accidental Circumstances? Whatever Infidelsand Deists may think; I trust the Christian Reader will easily discernan All-wise and Omnipotent Appointment and Direction in these Movements. He belong'd to the Redeemer of lost Sinners; he was the Purchase of hisCross; and therefore the Lord undertook to bring him by a Way that heknew not, out of Darkness into his marvellous Light, that he might leadhim to a saving Heart-Acquaintance and Union with the triune God inChrist reconciling the World unto himself; and not imputing theirTrespasses. As his Call was very extraordinary, so there are certainParticulars exceedingly remarkable in his Experience. God has putsingular Honour upon him in the Exercise of his Faith and Patience, which in the most distressing and pitiable Trials and Calamities havebeen found to the Praise and Glory of God. How deeply must it affect atender Heart, not only to be reduc'd to the last Extremity himself, butto have his Wife and Children perishing for Want before his Eyes! Yethis Faith did not fail him; he put his Trust in the Lord, and he wasdelivered. And at this Instant, though born in an exalted Station ofLife, and now under the Pressure of various afflicting Providences, I ampersuaded (for I know the Man) he would rather embrace the Dung-hill, having Christ in his Heart, than give up his spiritual Possessions andEnjoyment, to fill the Throne of Princes. It perhaps may not be amiss toobserve that James Albert left his native Country, (as near as I canguess from certain Circumstances) when he was about 15 Years old. He nowappears to be turn'd of Sixty; has a good natural Understanding; is wellacquainted with the Scriptures, and the Things of God, has an amiableand tender Disposition, and his Character can be well attested not onlyat Kidderminster, the Place of his Residence but likewise by manycreditable Persons in London and other Places. Reader, recommending thisNarrative to your perusal, and him who is the Subject of it to yourcharitable Regard, I am your faithful and obedient Servant, For Christ's Sake, W. Shirley. AN ACCOUNT OF JAMES ALBERT, &c. I was born in the city Bournou; my mother was the eldest daughter of thereigning King there, of which Bournou is the chief city. I was theyoungest of six children, and particularly loved by my mother, and mygrand-father almost doated on me. I had, from my infancy, a curious turn of mind; was more grave andreserved in my disposition than either of my brothers and sisters. Ioften teazed them with questions they could not answer: for which reasonthey disliked me, as they supposed that I was either foolish, or insane. 'Twas certain that I was, at times, very unhappy in myself: it beingstrongly impressed on my mind that there was some Great Man of powerwhich resided above the sun, moon and stars, the objects of our worship. My dear indulgent mother would bear more with me than any of my friendsbeside. --I often raised my hand to heaven, and asked her who livedthere? was much dissatisfied when she told me the sun, moon and stars, being persuaded, in my own mind, that there must be some SuperiorPower. --I was frequently lost in wonder at the works of the Creation:was afraid and uneasy and restless, but could not tell for what. Iwanted to be informed of things that no person could tell me; and wasalways dissatisfied. --These wonderful impressions begun in my childhood, and followed me continually 'till I left my parents, which affords mematter of admiration and thankfulness. To this moment I grew more and more uneasy every day, in so much thatone saturday, (which is the day on which we keep our sabbath) I labouredunder anxieties and fears that cannot be expressed; and, what is moreextraordinary, I could not give a reason for it. --I rose, as our customis, about three o'clock, (as we are oblig'd to be at our place ofworship an hour before the sun rise) we say nothing in our worship, butcontinue on our knees with our hands held up, observing a strict silence'till the sun is at a certain height, which I suppose to be about 10 or11 o'clock in England: when, at a certain sign made by the priest, weget up (our duty being over) and disperse to our different houses. --Ourplace of meeting is under a large palm tree; we divide ourselves intomany congregations; as it is impossible for the same tree to cover theinhabitants of the whole City, though they are extremely large, high andmajestic; the beauty and usefulness of them are not to be described;they supply the inhabitants of the country with meat, drink andclothes;[A] the body of the palm tree is very large; at a certain seasonof the year they tap it, and bring vessels to receive the wine, of whichthey draw great quantities, the quality of which is very delicious: theleaves of this tree are of a silky nature; they are large and soft; whenthey are dried and pulled to pieces it has much the same appearance asthe English flax, and the inhabitants of Bournou manufacture it forcloathing &c. This tree likewise produces a plant or substance which hasthe appearance of a cabbage, and very like it, in taste almost the same:it grows between the branches. Also the palm tree produces a nut, something like a cocoa, which contains a kernel, in which is a largequantity of milk, very pleasant to the taste: the shell is of a hardsubstance, and of a very beautiful appearance, and serves for basons, bowls, &c. [Footnote A: It is a generally received opinion, in _England_, that thenatives of _Africa_ go entirely unclothed; but this supposition is veryunjust: they have a kind of dress so as to appear decent, though it isvery slight and thin. ] I hope this digression will be forgiven. --I was going to observe thatafter the duty of our Sabbath was over (on the day in which I was moredistressed and afflicted than ever) we were all on our way home asusual, when a remarkable black cloud arose and covered the sun; thenfollowed very heavy rain and thunder more dreadful than ever I hadheard: the heav'ns roared, and the earth trembled at it: I was highlyaffected and cast down; in so much that I wept sadly, and could notfollow my relations and friends home. --I was obliged to stop and feltas if my legs were tied, they seemed to shake under me: so I stoodstill, being in great fear of the Man of Power that I was persuaded inmyself, lived above. One of my young companions (who entertained aparticular friendship for me and I for him) came back to see for me: heasked me why I stood still in such very hard rain? I only said to himthat my legs were weak, and I could not come faster: he was muchaffected to see me cry, and took me by the hand, and said he would leadme home, which he did. My mother was greatly alarmed at my tarrying outin such terrible weather; she asked me many questions, such as what Idid so for, and if I was well? My dear mother says I, pray tell me whois the great Man of Power that makes the thunder? She said, there was nopower but the sun, moon and stars; that they made all our country. --Ithen enquired how all our people came? She answered me, from oneanother; and so carried me to many generations back. --Then says I, whomade the _First Man_? and who made the first Cow, and the first Lyon, and where does the fly come from, as no one can make him? My motherseemed in great trouble; she was apprehensive that my senses wereimpaired, or that I was foolish. My father came in, and seeing her ingrief asked the cause, but when she related our conversation to him, hewas exceedingly angry with me, and told me he would punish me severelyif ever I was so troublesome again; so that I resolved never to say anything more to him. But I grew very unhappy in myself; my relations andacquaintance endeavoured by all the means they could think on, to divertme, by taking me to ride upon goats, (which is much the custom of ourcountry) and to shoot with a bow and arrow; but I experienced nosatisfaction at all in any of these things; nor could I be easy by anymeans whatever: my parents were very unhappy to see me so dejected andmelancholy. About this time there came a merchant from the _Gold Coast_ (the thirdcity in Guinea) he traded with the inhabitants of our country in ivory&c. He took great notice of my unhappy situation, and enquired into thecause; he expressed vast concern for me, and said, if my parents wouldpart with me for a little while, and let him take me home with him, itwould be of more service to me than any thing they could do for me. --Hetold me that if I would go with him I should see houses with wings tothem walk upon the water, and should also see the white folks; and thathe had many sons of my age, which should be my companions; and he addedto all this that he would bring me safe back again soon. --I was highlypleased with the account of this strange place, and was very desirous ofgoing. --I seemed sensible of a secret impulse upon my mind which I couldnot resist that seemed to tell me I must go. When my dear mother sawthat I was willing to leave them, she spoke to my father and grandfatherand the rest of my relations, who all agreed that I should accompany themerchant to the Gold Coast. I was the more willing as my brothers andsisters despised me, and looked on me with contempt on the account of myunhappy disposition; and even my servants slighted me, and disregardedall I said to them. I had one sister who was always exceeding fond ofme, and I loved her entirely; her name was Logwy, she was quite white, and fair, with fine light hair though my father and mother wereblack. --I was truly concerned to leave my beloved sister, and she cry'dmost sadly to part with me, wringing her hands, and discovered everysign of grief that can be imagined. Indeed if I could have known when Ileft my friends and country that I should never return to them again mymisery on that occasion would have been inexpressible. All my relationswere sorry to part with me; my dear mother came with me upon a camelmore than three hundred miles, the first of our journey lay chieflythrough woods: at night we secured ourselves from the wild beasts bymaking fires all around us; we and our camels kept within the circle, orwe must have been torn to pieces by the Lyons, and other wild creatures, that roared terribly as soon as night came on, and continued to do so'till morning. --There can be little said in favour of the countrythrough which we passed; only a valley of marble that we came throughwhich is unspeakably beautiful. --On each side of this valley areexceedingly high and almost inaccessible mountains--Some of these piecesof marble are of prodigious length and breadth but of different sizesand colour, and shaped in a variety of forms, in a wonderful manner. --Itis most of it veined with gold mixed with striking and beautifulcolours; so that when the sun darts upon it, it is as pleasing a sightas can be imagined. --The merchant that brought me from Bournou, was inpartnership with another gentleman who accompanied us; he was veryunwilling that he should take me from home, as, he said, he foresaw manydifficulties that would attend my going with them. --He endeavoured toprevail on the merchant to throw me into a very deep pit that was in thevalley, but he refused to listen to him, and said, he was resolved totake care of me: but the other was greatly dissatisfied; and when wecame to a river, which we were obliged to pass through, he purpos'dthrowing me in and drowning me; but the Merchant would not consent toit, so that I was preserv'd. We travel'd 'till about four o'clock every day, and then began to makepreparations for night, by cutting down large quantities of wood, tomake fires to preserve us from the wild beasts. --I had a very unhappyand discontented journey, being in continual fear that the people I waswith would murder me. I often reflected with extreme regret on the kindfriends I had left, and the idea of my dear mother frequently drew tearsfrom my eyes. --I cannot recollect how long we were in going from Bournouto the Gold Coast; but as there is no shipping nearer to Bournou thanthat City, it was tedious in travelling so far by land, being upwards ofa thousand miles. --I was heartily rejoic'd when we arriv'd at the end ofour journey: I now vainly imagin'd that all my troubles and inquietudeswould terminate here; but could I have looked into futurity, I shouldhave perceiv'd that I had much more to suffer than I had beforeexperienc'd, and that they had as yet but barely commenc'd. I was now more than a thousand miles from home, without a friend or anymeans to procure one. Soon after I came to the merchant's house I heardthe drums beat remarkably loud, and the trumpets blow--the personsaccustom'd to this employ, are oblig'd to go upon a very high structureappointed for that purpose, that the sound might be heard at a greatdistance: They are higher than the steeples are in England. I wasmightily pleas'd with sounds so entirely new to me, and was veryinquisitive to know the cause of this rejoicing, and ask'd manyquestions concerning it: I was answer'd that it was meant as acompliment to me, because I was Grandson to the King of Bournou. This account gave me a secret pleasure; but I was not suffer'd long toenjoy this satisfaction, for in the evening of the same day, two of themerchant's sons (boys about my own age) came running to me, and told me, that the next day I was to die, for the King intended to behead me. --Ireply'd that I was sure it could not be true, for that I came there toplay with them, and to see houses walk upon the water with wings tothem, and the white folks; but I was soon inform'd that their Kingimagined that I was sent by my father as a spy, and would make suchdiscoveries at my return home that would enable them to make war withthe greater advantage to ourselves; and for these reasons he hadresolved I should never return to my native country. --When I heard thisI suffered misery that cannot be described. --I wished a thousand timesthat I had never left my friends and country. --But still the Almightywas pleased to work miracles for me. The morning I was to die, I was washed and all my gold ornaments madebright and shining, and then carried to the palace, where the King wasto behead me himself (as is the custom of the place). --He was seatedupon a throne at the top of an exceeding large yard, or court, which youmust go through to enter the palace, it is as wide and spacious as alarge field in England. --I had a lane of lifeguards to go through. --Iguessed it to be about three hundred paces. I was conducted by my friend, the merchant, about half way up; then hedurst proceed no further: I went up to the King alone--I went with anundaunted courage, and it pleased God to melt the heart of the King, whosat with his scymitar in his hand ready to behead me; yet, being himselfso affected, he dropped it out of his hand, and took me upon his kneeand wept over me. I put my right hand round his neck, and prest him tomy heart. --He sat me down and blest me; and added that he would not killme, and that I should not go home, but be sold, for a slave, so then Iwas conducted back again to the merchant's house. The next day he took me on board a French brig; but the Captain did notchuse to buy me: he said I was too small; so the merchant took me homewith him again. The partner, whom I have spoken of as my enemy, was very angry to see mereturn, and again purposed putting an end to my life; for he representedto the other, that I should bring them into troubles and difficulties, and that I was so little that no person would buy me. The merchant's resolution began to waver, and I was indeed afraid that Ishould be put to death: but however he said he would try me once more. A few days after a Dutch ship came into the harbour, and they carried meon board, in hopes that the Captain would purchase me. --As they went, Iheard them agree, that, if they could not sell me _then_, they wouldthrow me overboard. --I was in extreme agonies when I heard this; and assoon as ever I saw the Dutch Captain, I ran to him, and put my armsround him, and said, "father, save me. " (for I knew that if he did notbuy me, I should be treated very ill, or, possibly, murdered) And thoughhe did not understand my language, yet it pleased the Almighty toinfluence him in my behalf, and he bought me _for two yards of check_, which is of more value _there_, than in England. When I left my dear mother I had a large quantity of gold about me, asis the custom of our country, it was made into rings, and they werelinked into one another, and formed into a kind of chain, and so putround my neck, and arms and legs, and a large piece hanging at one earalmost in the shape of a pear. I found all this troublesome, and wasglad when my new Master took it from me--I was now washed, and clothedin the Dutch or English manner. --My master grew very fond of me, and Iloved him exceedingly. I watched every look, was always ready when hewanted me, and endeavoured to convince him, by every action, that myonly pleasure was to serve him well. --I have since thought that he musthave been a serious man. His actions corresponded very well with such acharacter. --He used to read prayers in public to the ship's crew everySabbath day; and when first I saw him read, I was never so surprised inmy whole life as when I saw the book talk to my master; for I thought itdid, as I observed him to look upon it, and move his lips. --I wished itwould do so to me. --As soon as my master had done reading I follow'dhim to the place where he put the book, being mightily delighted withit, and when nobody saw me, I open'd it and put my ear down close uponit, in great hope that it wou'd say something to me; but was very sorryand greatly disappointed when I found it would not speak, this thoughtimmediately presented itself to me, that every body and every thingdespis'd me because I was black. I was exceedingly sea-sick at first; but when I became more accustom'dto the sea, it wore off. --My master's ship was bound for Barbadoes. Whenwe came there, he thought fit to speak of me to several gentlemen of hisacquaintance, and one of them exprest a particular desire to see me. --Hehad a great mind to buy me; but the Captain could not immediately beprevail'd on to part with me; but however, as the gentleman seem'd verysolicitous, he at length let me go, and I was sold for fifty dollars(_four and sixpenny-pieces in English_). My new master's name wasVanhorn, a young Gentleman; his home was in New-England in the City ofNew-York; to which place he took me with him. He dress'd me in hislivery, and was very good to me. My chief business was to wait at table, and tea, and clean knives, and I had a very easy place; but the servantsus'd to curse and swear surprizingly; which I learnt faster than anything, 'twas almost the first English I could speak. If any of themaffronted me, I was sure to call upon God to damn them immediately; butI was broke of it all at once, occasioned by the correction of an oldblack servant that liv'd in the family--One day I had just clean'd theknives for dinner, when one of the maids took one to cut bread andbutter with; I was very angry with her, and called upon God to damn her;when this old black man told me I must not say so. I ask'd him why? Hereplied there was a wicked man call'd the Devil, that liv'd in hell, andwould take all that said these words, and put them in the fire and burnthem. --This terrified me greatly, and I was entirely broke ofswearing. --Soon after this, as I was placing the china for tea, mymistress came into the room just as the maid had been cleaning it; thegirl had unfortunately sprinkled the wainscot with the mop; at which mymistress was angry; the girl very foolishly answer'd her again, whichmade her worse, and she call'd upon God to damn her. --I was vastlyconcern'd to hear this, as she was a fine young lady, and very good tome, insomuch that I could not help speaking to her, "Madam, says I, youmust not say so, " Why, says she? Because there is a black man call'd theDevil that lives in hell, and he will put you in the fire and burn you, and I shall be very sorry for that. Who told you this replied my lady?Old Ned, says I. Very well was all her answer; but she told my master ofit, and he order'd that old Ned should be tyed up and whipp'd, and wasnever suffer'd to come into the kitchen with the rest of the servantsafterwards. --My mistress was not angry with me, but rather diverted withmy simplicity and, by way of talk, She repeated what I had said, to manyof her acquaintance that visited her; among the rest, Mr. Freelandhouse, a very gracious, good Minister, heard it, and he took a great deal ofnotice of me, and desired my master to part with me to him. He would nothear of it at first, but, being greatly persuaded, he let me go, and Mr. Freelandhouse gave £50. For me. --He took me home with him, and made mekneel down, and put my two hands together, and pray'd for me, and everynight and morning he did the same. --I could not make out what it wasfor, nor the meaning of it, nor what they spoke to when they talk'd--Ithought it comical, but I lik'd it very well. --After I had been a littlewhile with my new master I grew more familiar, and ask'd him the meaningof prayer: (I could hardly speak english to be understood) he took greatpains with me, and made me understand that he pray'd to God, who liv'din Heaven; that He was my Father and best Friend. --I told him that thismust be a mistake; that _my_ father liv'd at Bournou, and I wanted verymuch to see him, and likewise my dear mother, and sister, and I wish'dhe would be so good as to send me home to them; and I added, all I couldthink of to induce him to convey me back. I appeared in great trouble, and my good master was so much affected that the tears ran down hisface. He told me that God was a Great and Good Spirit, that He createdall the world, and every person and thing in it, in Ethiopia, Africa, and America, and every where. I was delighted when I heard this: There, says I, I always thought so when I liv'd at home! Now if I had wingslike an Eagle I would fly to tell my dear mother that God is greaterthan the sun, moon, and stars; and that they were made by Him. I was exceedingly pleas'd with this information of my master's, becauseit corresponded so well with my own opinion; I thought now if I couldbut get home, I should be wiser than all my country-folks, mygrandfather, or father, or mother, or any of them--But though I wassomewhat enlighten'd by this information of my master's, yet, I had noother knowledge of God but that He was a Good Spirit, and created everybody, and every thing--I never was sensible in myself, nor had any oneever told me, that He would punish the wicked, and love the just. I wasonly glad that I had been told there was a God because I had alwaysthought so. My dear kind master grew very fond of me, as was his Lady; she put me toSchool, but I was uneasy at that, and did not like to go; but my masterand mistress requested me to learn in the gentlest terms, and persuadedme to attend my school without any anger at all; that, at last, I cameto like it better, and learnt to read pretty well. My schoolmaster was agood man, his name was Vanosdore, and very indulgent to me. --I was inthis state when, one Sunday, I heard my master preach from these wordsout of the Revelations, chap. I. V. 7. _"Behold, He cometh in the cloudsand every eye shall see him and they that pierc'd Him. "_ These wordsaffected me excessively; I was in great agonies because I thought mymaster directed them to me only; and, I fancied, that he observ'd mewith unusual earnestness--I was farther confirm'd in this belief as Ilook'd round the church, and could see no one person beside myself insuch grief and distress as I was; I began to think that my master hatedme, and was very desirous to go home, to my own country; for I thoughtthat if God did come (as he said) He would be sure to be most angry with_me_, as I did not know what He was, nor had ever heard of him before. I went home in great trouble, but said nothing to any body. --I wassomewhat afraid of my master; I thought he disliked me. --The next text Iheard him preach from was, Heb. Xii. 14. _"follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the LORD. "_ he preached thelaw so severely, that it made me tremble. --he said, that GOD would judgethe whole world; Ethiopia, Asia, and Africa, and every where. --I wasnow excessively perplexed, and undetermined what to do; as I had nowreason to believe my situation would be equally bad to go, as tostay. --I kept these thoughts to myself, and said nothing to any personwhatever. I should have complained to my good mistress of this great trouble ofmind, but she had been a little strange to me for several days beforethis happened, occasioned by a story told of me by one of the maids. Theservants were all jealous, and envied me the regard, and favour shewn meby my master and mistress; and the Devil being always ready, anddiligent in wickedness, had influenced this girl, to make a lye onme. --This happened about hay-harvest, and one day when I was unloadingthe waggon to put the hay into the barn, she watched an opportunity, inmy absence, to take the fork out of the stick, and hide it: when I cameagain to my work, and could not find it, I was a good deal vexed, but Iconcluded it was dropt somewhere among the hay; so I went and boughtanother with my own money: when the girl saw that I had another, she wasso malicious that she told my mistress I was very unfaithful, and notthe person she took me for; and that she knew, I had, without mymaster's permission, order'd many things in his name, that he must payfor; and as a proof of my carelessness produc'd the fork she had takenout of the stick, and said, she had found it out of doors--My Lady, notknowing the truth of these things, was a little shy to me, till shemention'd it, and then I soon cleared myself, and convinc'd her thatthese accusations were false. I continued in a most unhappy state for many days. My good mistressinsisted on knowing what was the matter. When I made known my situationshe gave me John Bunyan on the holy war, to read; I found his experiencesimilar to my own, which gave me reason to suppose he must be a bad man;as I was convinc'd of my own corrupt nature, and the misery of my ownheart: and as he acknowledg'd that he was likewise in the samecondition, I experienc'd no relief at all in reading his work, butrather the reverse. --I took the book to my lady, and inform'd her I didnot like it at all, it was concerning a wicked man as bad as myself; andI did not chuse to read it, and I desir'd her to give me another, wroteby a better man that was holy and without sin. --She assur'd me thatJohn Bunyan was a good man, but she could not convince me; I thoughthim to be too much like myself to be upright, as his experience seem'dto answer with my own. I am very sensible that nothing but the great power and unspeakablemercies of the Lord could relieve my soul from the heavy burden itlaboured under at that time. --A few days after my master gave meBaxter's _Call to the unconverted_. This was no relief to me neither; onthe contrary it occasioned as much distress in me as the other hadbefore done, _as it_ invited all to come to _Christ_ and I found myselfso wicked and miserable that I could not come--This consideration threwme into agonies that cannot be described; insomuch that I even attemptedto put an end to my life--I took one of the large case-knives, and wentinto the stable with an intent to destroy myself; and as I endeavouredwith all my strength to force the knife into my side, it bent double. Iwas instantly struck with horror at the thought of my own rashness, andmy conscience told me that had I succeeded in this attempt I shouldprobably have gone to hell. I could find no relief, nor the least shadow of comfort; the extremedistress of my mind so affected my health that I continued very ill forthree Days, and Nights; and would admit of no means to be taken for myrecovery, though my lady was very kind, and sent many things to me; butI rejected every means of relief and wished to die--I would not go intomy own bed, but lay in the stable upon straw--I felt all the horrors ofa troubled conscience, so hard to be born, and saw all the vengeance ofGod ready to overtake me--I was sensible that there was no way for me tobe saved unless I came to _Christ_, and I could not come to Him: Ithought that it was impossible He should receive such a sinner as me. The last night that I continued in this place, in the midst of mydistress these words were brought home upon my mind, _"Behold the Lambof God. "_ I was something comforted at this, and began to grow easierand wished for day that I might find these words in my bible--I rosevery early the following morning, and went to my school-master, Mr. Vanosdore, and communicated the situation of my mind to him; he wasgreatly rejoiced to find me enquiring the way to Zion, and blessed theLord who had worked so wonderfully for me a poor heathen. --I was morefamiliar with this good gentleman than with my master, or any otherperson; and found myself more at liberty to talk to him: he encouragedme greatly, and prayed with me frequently, and I was always benefited byhis discourse. About a quarter of a mile from my Master's house stood a largeremarkably fine Oak-tree, in the midst of a wood; I often used to beemployed there in cutting down trees, (a work I was very fond of) Iseldom failed going to this place every day; sometimes twice a day if Icould be spared. It was the highest pleasure I ever experienced to setunder this Oak; for there I used to pour out all my complaints to theLORD: and when I had any particular grievance I used to go there, andtalk to the tree, and tell my sorrows, as if it had been to a friend. Here I often lamented my own wicked heart, and undone state; and foundmore comfort and consolation than I ever was sensible ofbefore. --Whenever I was treated with ridicule or contempt, I used tocome here and find peace. I now began to relish the book my Master gaveme, Baxter's _Call to the unconverted_, and took great delight in it. Iwas always glad to be employ'd in cutting wood, 'twas a great part of mybusiness, and I follow'd it with delight, as I was then quite alone andmy heart lifted up to GOD, and I was enabled to pray continually; andblessed for ever be his Holy Name, he faithfully answer'd my prayers. Ican never be thankful enough to Almighty GOD for the many comfortableopportunities I experienced there. It is possible the circumstance I am going to relate will not gaincredit with many; but this I know, that the joy and comfort it conveyedto me, cannot be expressed and only conceived by those who haveexperienced the like. I was one day in a most delightful frame of mind; my heart so overflowedwith love and gratitude to the Author of all my comforts. --I was sodrawn out of myself, and so fill'd and awed by the Presence of God thatI saw (or thought I saw) light inexpressible dart down from heaven uponme, and shone around me for the space of a minute. --I continued on myknees, and joy unspeakable took possession of my soul. --The peace andserenity which filled my mind after this was wonderful, and cannot betold. --I would not have changed situations, or been any one but myselffor the whole world. I blest God for my poverty, that I had no worldlyriches or grandeur to draw my heart from Him. I wish'd at that time, ifit had been possible for me, to have continued on that spot for ever. Ifelt an unwillingness in myself to have any thing more to do with theworld, or to mix with society again. I seemed to possess a fullassurance that my sins were forgiven me. I went home all my wayrejoicing, and this text of scripture came full upon my mind. _"And Iwill make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn awayfrom them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts thatthey shall not depart from me. "_ The first opportunity that presenteditself, I went to my old school-master, and made known to him the happystate of my soul who joined with me in praise to God for his mercy to methe vilest of sinners. --I was now perfectly easy, and had hardly a wishto make beyond what I possess'd, when my temporal comforts were allblasted by the death of my dear and worthy Master Mr. Freelandhouse, whowas taken from this world rather suddenly: he had but a short illness, and died of a fever. I held his hand in mine when he departed; he toldme he had given me my freedom. I was at liberty to go where I would. --Headded that he had always pray'd for me and hop'd I should be kept untothe end. My master left me by his will ten pounds, and my freedom. I found that if he had lived 'twas his intention to take me with him toHolland, as he had often mention'd me to some friends of his there thatwere desirous to see me; but I chose to continue with my Mistress whowas as good to me as if she had been my mother. The loss of Mr. Freelandhouse distress'd me greatly, but I was render'dstill more unhappy by the clouded and perplex'd situation of my mind;the great enemy of my soul being ready to torment me, would present myown misery to me in such striking light, and distress me with doubts, fears, and such a deep sense of my own unworthiness, that after all thecomfort and encouragement I had received, I was often tempted to believeI should be a Cast-away at last. --The more I saw of the Beauty and Gloryof God, the more I was humbled under a sense of my own vileness. Ioften repair'd to my old place of prayer; I seldom came away withoutconsolation. One day this Scripture was wonderfully apply'd to my mind, _"And ye are compleat in Him which is the Head of all principalities andpower. "_--The Lord was pleas'd to comfort me by the application of manygracious promises at times when I was ready to sink under my troubles. _"Wherefore He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come untoGod by Him seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them. _ Hebrewsx. Ver. 14. _For by one offering He hath perfected for ever them thatare sanctified. "_ My kind, indulgent Mistress liv'd but two years after my Master. Herdeath was a great affliction to me. She left five sons, all graciousyoung men, and Ministers of the Gospel. --I continued with them all, oneafter another, till they died; they liv'd but four years after theirparents. When it pleased God to take them to Himself, I was left quitedestitute, without a friend in the world. But I who had so oftenexperienced the Goodness of GOD, trusted in Him to do what He pleasedwith me. --In this helpless condition I went in the wood to prayer asusual; and tho' the snow was a considerable height, I was not sensibleof cold, or any other inconveniency. --At times indeed when I saw theworld frowning round me, I was tempted to think that the LORD hadforsaken me. I found great relief from the contemplation of these wordsin Isaiah xlix. V. 16. _"Behold I have graven thee on the palms of myhands; thy walls are continually before me. "_ And very many comfortablepromises were sweetly applied to me. The lxxxix. Psalm and 34th verse, _"My covenant will I not break nor alter the thing that is gone out ofmy lips. "_ Hebrews, chap. Xvi. V. 17, 18. Phillipians, chap. I. V. 6;and several more. As I had now lost all my dear and valued friends every place in theworld was alike to me. I had for a great while entertain'd a desire tocome to England. --I imagined that all the Inhabitants of this Islandwere _Holy_; because all those that had visited my Master from thencewere good, (Mr. Whitefield was his particular friend) and the authors ofthe books that had been given me were all English. But above all placesin the world I wish'd to see Kidderminster, for I could not but thinkthat on the spot where Mr. Baxter had liv'd, and preach'd, the peoplemust be all _Righteous_. The situation of my affairs requir'd that I should tarry a littlelonger in New-York, as I was something in debt, and was embarrass'd howto pay it. --About this time a young Gentleman that was a particularacquaintance of one of my young Master's, pretended to be a friend tome, and promis'd to pay my debts, which was three pounds; and he assur'dme he would never expect the money again. --But, in less than a month, hecame and demanded it; and when I assur'd him I had nothing to pay, hethreatened to sell me. --Though I knew he had no right to do that, yet asI had no friend in the world to go to, it alarm'd me greatly. --At lengthhe purpos'd my going a Privateering, that I might by these means, beenabled to pay him, to which I agreed. --Our Captain's name was ---- Iwent in Character of Cook to him. --Near St. Domingo we came up to fiveFrench ships, Merchant-men. --We had a very smart engagement thatcontinued from eight in the morning till three in the afternoon; whenvictory declar'd on our side. --Soon after this we were met by threeEnglish ships which join'd us, and that encourag'd us to attack a fleetof 36 Ships. --We boarded the three first and then follow'd the others;and had the same success with twelve; but the rest escap'd us. --Therewas a great deal of blood shed, and I was near death several times, butthe LORD preserv'd me. I met with many enemies, and much persecution, among the sailors; one ofthem was particularly unkind to me, and studied ways to vex and teazeme. --I can't help mentioning one circumstance that hurt me more than allthe rest, which was, that he snatched a book out of my hand that I wasvery fond of, and used frequently to amuse myself with, and threw itinto the sea. --But what is remarkable he was the first that was killedin our engagement. --I don't pretend to say that this happen'd because hewas not my friend: but I thought 'twas a very awful Providence to seehow the enemies of the LORD are cut off. Our Captain was a cruel hard-hearted man. I was excessively sorry forthe prisoners we took in general; but the pitiable case of one youngGentleman grieved me to the heart. --He appear'd very amiable; wasstrikingly handsome. Our Captain took four thousand pounds from him; butthat did not satisfy him, as he imagin'd he was possess'd of more, andhad somewhere conceal'd it, so that the Captain threatened him withdeath, at which he appear'd in the deepest distress, and took thebuckles out of his shoes, and untied his hair, which was very fine, andlong; and in which several very valuable rings were fasten'd. He cameinto the Cabbin to me, and in the most obliging terms imaginable ask'dfor something to eat and drink; which when I gave him, he was sothankful and pretty in his manner that my heart bled for him; and Iheartily wish'd that I could have spoken in any language in which theship's crew would not have understood me; that I might have let him knowhis danger; for I heard the Captain say he was resolv'd upon his death;and he put his barbarous design into execution, for he took him on shorewith one of the sailors, and there they shot him. This circumstance affected me exceedingly, I could not put him out of mymind a long while. --When we return'd to New-York the Captain divided theprize-money among us, that we had taken. When I was call'd upon toreceive my part, I waited upon Mr. ----, (the Gentleman that paid my debtand was the occasion of my going abroad) to know if he chose to go withme to receive my money or if I should bring him what I owed. --He choseto go with me; and when the Captain laid my money on the table ('twas anhundred and thirty-five pounds) I desir'd Mr. ---- to take what I wasindebted to him; and he swept it all into his handkerchief, and wouldnever be prevail'd on to give a farthing of money, nor any thing at allbeside. --And he likewise secur'd a hogshead of sugar which was my duefrom the same ship. The Captain was very angry with him for this pieceof cruelty to me, as was every other person that heard it. --But I havereason to believe (as he was one of the Principal Merchants in the city)that he transacted business for him and on that account did not chuse toquarrel with him. At this time a very worthy Gentleman, a Wine Merchant, his name Dunscum, took me under his protection, and would have recovered my money for meif I had chose it; but I told him to let it alone; that I wou'd ratherbe quiet. --I believed that it would not prosper with him, and so ithappen'd, for by a series of losses and misfortunes he became poor, andwas soon after drowned, as he was on a party of pleasure. --The vesselwas driven out to sea, and struck against a rock by which means everysoul perished. I was very much distress'd when I heard it, and felt greatly for hisfamily who were reduc'd to very low circumstances. --I never knew how toset a proper value on money. If I had but a little meat and drink tosupply the present necessaries of life, I never wish'd for more; andwhen I had any I always gave it if ever I saw an object in distress. Ifit was not for my dear Wife and Children I should pay as little regardto money now as I did at that time. --I continu'd some time with Mr. Dunscum as his servant; he was very kind to me. --But I had a vastinclination to visit England, and wish'd continually that it wouldplease Providence to make a clear way for me to see this Island. Ientertain'd a notion that if I could get to England I should never moreexperience either cruelty or ingratitude, so that I was very desirous toget among Christians. I knew Mr. Whitefield very well. --I had heard himpreach often at New-York. In this disposition I listed in thetwenty-eighth Regiment of Foot, who were design'd for Martinico in thelate war. --We went in Admiral Pocock's fleet from New-York to Barbadoes;from thence to Martinico. --When that was taken we proceeded to theHavannah, and took that place likewise. --There I got discharged. I was then worth about thirty pounds, but I never regarded money in theleast, nor would I tarry to receive my prize-money least I should losemy chance of going to England. --I went with the Spanish prisoners toSpain; and came to Old-England with the English prisoners. --I cannotdescribe my joy when we were within sight of Portsmouth. But I wasastonished when we landed to hear the inhabitants of that place curseand swear, and otherwise profane. I expected to find nothing butgoodness, gentleness and meekness in this Christian Land, I thensuffer'd great perplexities of mind. I enquir'd if any serious Christian people resided there, the woman Imade this enquiry of, answer'd me in the affirmative; and added that shewas one of them. --I was heartily glad to hear her say so. I thought Icould give her my whole heart: she kept a Public-House. I deposited withher all the money that I had not an immediate occasion for; as I thoughtit would be safer with her. --It was 25 guineas but 6 of them I desiredher to lay out to the best advantage, to buy me some shirts, hat andsome other necessaries. I made her a present of a very handsome largelooking glass that I brought with me from Martinico, in order torecompence her for the trouble I had given her. I must do this woman thejustice to acknowledge that she did lay out some little for my use, butthe 19 guineas and part of the 6, with my watch, she would not return, but denied that I ever gave it her. I soon perceived that I was got among bad people, who defrauded me of mymoney and watch; and that all my promis'd happiness was blasted, I hadno friend but GOD and I pray'd to Him earnestly. I could scarcelybelieve it possible that the place where so many eminent Christians hadlived and preached could abound with so much wickedness and deceit. Ithought it worse than _Sodom_ (considering the great advantages theyhave) I cryed like a child and that almost continually: at length GODheard my prayers and rais'd me a friend indeed. This publican had a brother who lived on Portsmouth-common, his wife wasa very serious good woman. --When she heard of the treatment I had metwith, she came and enquired into my real situation and was greatlytroubled at the ill usage I had received, and took me home to her ownhouse. --I began now to rejoice, and my prayer was turned into praise. She made use of all the arguments in her power to prevail on her who hadwronged me, to return my watch and money, but it was to no purpose, asshe had given me no receipt and I had nothing to show for it, I couldnot demand it. --My good friend was excessively angry with her andobliged her to give me back four guineas, which she said she gave me outof charity: Though in fact it was my own, and much more. She would haveemployed some rougher means to oblige her to give up my money, but Iwould not suffer her, let it go says I "My GOD is in heaven. " Still Idid not mind my loss in the least; all that grieved me was, that I hadbeen disappointed in finding some Christian friends, with whom I hopedto enjoy a little sweet and comfortable society. I thought the best method that I could take now, was to go to London, and find out Mr. Whitefield, who was the only living soul I knew inEngland, and get him to direct me to some way or other to procure aliving without being troublesome to any Person. --I took leave of myChristian friend at Portsmouth, and went in the stage to London. --Acreditable tradesman in the City, who went up with me in the stage, offer'd to show me the way to Mr. Whitefield's Tabernacle. Knowing thatI was a perfect stranger, I thought it very kind, and accepted hisoffer; but he obliged me to give him half-a-crown for going with me, andlikewise insisted on my giving him five shillings more for conducting meto Dr. Gifford's Meeting. I began now to entertain a very different idea of the inhabitants ofEngland than what I had figur'd to myself before I came amongstthem. --Mr. Whitefield receiv'd me very friendly, was heartily glad tosee me, and directed me to a proper place to board and lodge inPetticoat-Lane, till he could think of some way to settle me in, andpaid for my lodging, and all my expences. The morning after I came to mynew lodging, as I was at breakfast with the gentlewoman of the house, Iheard the noise of some looms over our heads: I enquir'd what it was;she told me a person was weaving silk. --I express'd a great desire tosee it, and ask'd if I might: She told me she would go up with me; shewas sure I should be very welcome. She was as good as her word, and assoon as we enter'd the room, the person that was weaving look'd about, and smiled upon us, and I loved her from that moment. --She ask'd me manyquestions, and I in turn talk'd a great deal to her. I found she was amember of Mr. Allen's Meeting, and I begun to entertain a good opinionof her, though I was almost afraid to indulge this inclination, leastshe should prove like all the rest I had met with at Portsmouth, &c. Andwhich had almost given me a dislike to all white women. --But after ashort acquaintance I had the happiness to find she was very different, and quite sincere, and I was not without hope that she entertain'd someesteem for me. We often went together to hear Dr. Gifford, and as I hadalways a propensity to relieve every object in distress as far as I wasable, I used to give to all that complain'd to me; sometimes half aguinea at a time, as I did not understand the real value of it. --Thisgracious, good woman took great pains to correct and advise me in thatand many other respects. After I had been in London about six weeks I was recommended to thenotice of some of my late Master Mr. Freelandhouse's acquaintance, whohad heard him speak frequently of me. I was much persuaded by them to goto Holland. --My Master lived there before he bought me, and used tospeak of me so respectfully among his friends there, that it raised inthem a curiosity to see me; particularly the Gentlemen engaged in theMinistry, who expressed a desire to hear my experience and examine me. Ifound that it was my good old Master's design that I should have gone ifhe had lived; for which reason I resolved upon going to Holland, andinformed my dear friend Mr. Whitefield of my intention; he was muchaverse to my going at first, but after I gave him my reasons appearedvery well satisfied. I likewise informed my Betty (the good woman that Ihave mentioned above) of my determination to go to Holland and I toldher that I believed she was to be my Wife: that if it was the LORD'sWill I desired it, but not else. --She made me very little answer, buthas since told me, she did not think it at that time. I embarked at Tower-wharf at four o'clock in the morning, and arriv'd atAmsterdam the next day by three o'clock in the afternoon. I had severalletters of recommendation to my old master's friends, who receiv'd mevery graciously. Indeed, one of the chief Ministers was particularlygood to me; he kept me at his house a long while, and took greatpleasure in asking questions, which I answer'd with delight, beingalways ready to say, _"Come unto me all ye that fear GOD, and I willtell what he hath done for my Soul. "_ I cannot but admire the footstepsof Providence; astonish'd that I should be so wonderfully preserved!Though the Grandson of a King, I have wanted bread, and should have beenglad of the hardest crust I ever saw. I who, at home, was surrounded andguarded by slaves, so that no indifferent person might approach me, andclothed with gold, have been inhumanly threatened with death; andfrequently wanted clothing to defend me from the inclemency of theweather; yet I never murmured, nor was I discontented. --I am willing, and even desirous to be counted as nothing, a stranger in the world, and a pilgrim here; for _"I know that my Redeemer liveth, "_ and I'mthankful for every trial and trouble that I've met with, as I am notwithout hope that they have been all sanctified to me. The Calvinist Ministers desired to hear my Experience from myself, whichproposal I was very well pleased with: So I stood before 38 Ministersevery Thursday for seven weeks together, and they were all very wellsatisfied, and persuaded I was what I pretended to be. --They wrote downmy experience as I spoke it; and the Lord Almighty was with me at thattime in a remarkable manner, and gave me words and enabled me to answerthem; so great was his mercy to take me in hand a poor blind heathen. At this time a very rich Merchant at Amsterdam offered to take me intohis family in the capacity of his Butler, and I very willingly acceptedit. --He was a gracious worthy Gentleman and very good to me. --He treatedme more like a friend than a servant. --I tarried there a twelvemonth butwas not thoroughly contented, I wanted to see my wife; (that is now) andfor that reason I wished to return to _England_, I wrote to her once inmy absence, but she did not answer my letter; and I must acknowledge ifshe had, it would have given me a less opinion of her. --My Master andMistress persuaded me much not to leave them and likewise their two Sonswho entertained a good opinion of me; and if I had found my Bettymarried on my arrival in England, I should have returned to them againimmediately. My Lady purposed my marrying her maid; she was an agreeable young woman, had saved a good deal of money, but I could not fancy her, though shewas willing to accept of me, but I told her my inclinations were engagedin England, and I could think of no other Person. --On my return home, Ifound my Betty disengaged. --She had refused several offers in myabsence, and told her sister that, she thought, if ever she married Iwas to be her husband. Soon after I came home, I waited on Doctor Gifford who took me into hisfamily and was exceedingly, good to me. The character of this piousworthy Gentleman is well known; my praise can be of no use orsignification at all. --I hope I shall ever gratefully remember the manyfavours I have received from him. --Soon after I came to Doctor GiffordI expressed a desire to be admitted into their Church, and set down withthem; they told me I must first be baptized; so I gave in my experiencebefore the Church, with which they were very well satisfied, and I wasbaptized by Doctor Gifford with some others. I then made known myintentions of being married; but I found there were many objectionsagainst it because the person I had fixed on was poor. She was a widow, her husband had left her in debt, and with a child, so that theypersuaded me against it out of real regard to me. --But I had promisedand was resolved to have her; as I knew her to be a gracious woman, herpoverty was no objection to me, as they had nothing else to say againsther. When my friends found that they could not alter my opinionrespecting her, they wrote to Mr. Allen, the Minister she attended, topersuade her to leave me; but he replied that he would not interfere atall, that we might do as we would. I was resolved that all my wife'slittle debt should be paid before we were married; so that I sold almostevery thing I had and with all the money I could raise cleared all thatshe owed, and I never did any thing with a better will in all my Life, because I firmly believed that we should be very happy together, and soit prov'd, for she was given me from the LORD. And I have found her ablessed partner, and we have never repented, tho' we have gone throughmany great troubles and difficulties. My wife got a very good living by weaving, and could do extremely well;but just at that time there was great disturbance among the weavers; sothat I was afraid to let my wife work, least they should insist on myjoining the rioters which I could not think of, and, possibly, if I hadrefused to do so they would have knock'd me on the head. --So that bythese means my wife could get no employ, neither had I work enough tomaintain my family. We had not yet been married a year before all thesemisfortunes overtook us. Just at this time a gentleman, that seemed much concerned for us, advised me to go into Essex with him and promised to get me employed. --Iaccepted his kind proposal, and he spoke to a friend of his, a Quaker, agentleman of large fortune, who resided a little way out of the town of_Colchester_, his name was _Handbarar_; he ordered his steward to set meto work. There were several employed in the same way with myself. I wasvery thankful and contented though my wages were but small. --I wasallowed but eight pence a day, and found myself; but after I had been inthis situation for a fortnight, my Master, being told that a Black wasat work for him, had an inclination to see me. He was pleased to talk tome for some time, and at last enquired what wages I had; when I told himhe declared, it was too little, and immediately ordered his Steward tolet me have eighteen pence a day, which he constantly gave me after; andI then did extremely well. I did not bring my wife with me: I came first alone and it was mydesign, if things answered according to our wishes, to send for her--Iwas now thinking to desire her to come to me when I receiv'd a letter toinform me she was just brought to bed and in want of manynecessaries. --This news was a great trial to me and a fresh affliction:but my God, _faithful and abundant in mercy_, forsook me not in thistrouble. --As I could not read _English_, I was obliged to apply to someone to read the letter I received, relative to my wife. I was directedby the good Providence of God to a worthy young gentleman, a Quaker, andfriend of my Master. --I desired he would take the trouble to read myletter for me, which he readily comply'd with and was greatly moved andaffected at the contents; insomuch that he said he would undertake tomake a gathering for me, which he did and was the first to contribute toit himself. The money was sent that evening to London by a person whohappen'd to be going there: nor was this All the goodness that Iexperienced from these kind friends, for, as soon as my wife came aboutand was fit to travel, they sent for her to me, and were at the wholeexpence of her coming; so evidently has the love and mercy of Godappeared through every trouble that ever I experienced. We went on verycomfortably all the summer. --We lived in a little cottage near Mr. _Handbarrar's_ House; but when the winter came on I was discharged, ashe had no further occasion for me. And now the prospect began to darkenupon us again. We thought it most adviseable to move our habitation alittle nearer to the Town, as the house we lived in was very cold, andwet, and ready to tumble down. The boundless goodness of GOD to me has been so very great, that withthe most humble gratitude I desire to prostrate myself before Him; for Ihave been wonderfully supported in every affliction. My GOD never leftme. I perceived light still through the thickest darkness. My dear wife and I were now both unemployed, we could get nothing to do. The winter prov'd remarkably severe, and we were reduc'd to the greatestdistress imaginable. --I was always very shy of asking for any thing; Icould never beg; neither did I chuse to make known our wants to anyperson, for fear of offending as we were entire strangers; but our lastbit of bread was gone, and I was obliged to think of something to do forour support. --I did not mind for myself at all; but to see my dear wifeand children in want pierc'd me to the heart. --I now blam'd myself forbringing her from London, as doubtless had we continued there we mighthave found friends to keep us from starving. The snow was at this seasonremarkably deep; so that we could see no prospect of being relieved. Inthis melancholy situation, not knowing what step to pursue, I resolvedto make my case known to a Gentleman's Gardiner that lived near us, andentreat him to employ me: but when I came to him, my courage failed me, and I was ashamed to make known our real situation. --I endeavoured all Icould to prevail on him to set me to work, but to no purpose: he assur'dme it was not in his power: but just as I was about to leave him, heasked me if I would accept of some Carrots? I took them with greatthankfulness and carried them home: he gave me four, they were verylarge and fine. --We had nothing to make fire with, so consequently couldnot boil them: But was glad to have them to eat _raw_. Our youngestchild was quite an infant; so that my wife was obliged to chew it, andfed her in that manner for several days. --We allowed ourselves but oneevery day, least they should not last 'till we could get some othersupply. I was unwilling to eat at all myself; nor would I take any thelast day that we continued in this situation, as I could not bear thethought that my dear wife and children would be in want of every meansof support. We lived in this manner, 'till our carrots were all gone:then my Wife began to lament because of our poor babies: but I comfortedher all I could; still hoping, and believing that _my_ GOD would notlet us die: but that it would please Him to relieve us, which _He_ didby almost a Miracle. We went to bed, as usual, before it was quite dark, (as we had neitherfire nor candle) but had not been there long before some person knockedat the door & enquir'd if _James Albert_ lived there? I answer'd in theaffirmative, and rose immediately; as soon as I open'd the door I foundit was the servant of an eminent Attorney who resided at_Colchester_. --He ask'd me how it was with me? if I was not almoststarv'd? I burst out a crying, and told him I was indeed. He said hismaster suppos'd so, and that he wanted to speak with me, and I mustreturn with him. This Gentleman's name was _Danniel_, he was a sincere, good Christian. He used to stand and talk with me frequently when Iwork'd in the road for Mr. _Handbarrar_, and would have employed mehimself, if I had wanted work. --When I came to his house he told me thathe had thought a good deal about me of late, and was apprehensive that Imust be in want, and could not be satisfied till he sent to enquireafter me. I made known my distress to him, at which he was greatlyaffected; and generously gave me a guinea; and promis'd to be kind to mein future. I could not help exclaiming. _O the boundless mercies of myGod!_ I pray'd unto Him, and He has heard me; I trusted in Him and Hehas preserv'd me: where shall I begin to praise Him, or how shall I loveHim enough? I went immediately and bought some bread and cheese and coal and carriedit home. My dear wife was rejoiced to see me return with something toeat. She instantly got up and dressed our Babies, while I made a fire, and the first Nobility in the land never made a more comfortablemeal. --We did not forget to thank the LORD for all his goodness tous. --Soon after this, as the spring came on, Mr. Peter _Daniel_ employedme in helping to pull down a house, and rebuilding it. I had then verygood work, and full employ: he sent for my wife, and children to_Colchester_, and provided us a house where we lived verycomfortably. --I hope I shall always gratefully acknowledge his kindnessto myself and family. I worked at this house for more than a year, tillit was finished; and after that I was employed by several successively, and was never so happy as when I had something to do; but perceivingthe winter coming on, and work rather slack, I was apprehensive that weshould again be in want or become troublesome to our friends. I had at this time an offer made me of going to _Norwich_ and havingconstant employ. --My wife seemed pleased with this proposal, as shesupposed she might get work there in the weaving-manufactory, being thebusiness she was brought up to, and more likely to succeed there thanany other place; and we thought as we had an opportunity of moving to aTown where we could both be employ'd it was most adviseable to do so;and that probably we might settle there for our lives. --When this stepwas resolv'd on, I went first alone to see how it would answer; which Ivery much repented after, for it was not in my power immediately to sendmy wife any supply, as I fell into the hands of a Master that wasneither kind nor considerate; and she was reduced to great distress, sothat she was oblig'd to sell the few goods that we had, and when I sentfor her was under the disagreeable necessity of parting with our bed. When she came to _Norwich_ I hired a room ready furnished. --Iexperienced a great deal of difference in the carriage of my Master fromwhat I had been accustomed to from some of my other Masters. He was veryirregular in his payments to me. --My wife hired a loom and wove all theleisure time she had and we began to do very well, till we wereovertaken by fresh misfortunes. Our three poor children fell ill of thesmall pox; this was a great trial to us; but still I was persuaded inmyself we should not be forsaken. --And I did all in my power to keep mydear partner's spirits from sinking. Her whole attention now was takenup with the children as she could mind nothing else, and all I could getwas but little to support a family in such a situation, beside payingfor the hire of our room, which I was obliged to omit doing for severalweeks: but the woman to whom we were indebted would not excuse us, tho'I promised she should have the very first money we could get after mychildren came about, but she would not be satisfied and had the crueltyto threaten us that if we did not pay her immediately she would turn usall into the street. The apprehension of this plunged me in the deepest distress, considering the situation of my poor babies: if they had been in healthI should have been less sensible of this misfortune. But My GOD, _stillfaithful to his promise_, raised me a friend. Mr. Henry Gurdney, aQuaker, a gracious gentleman heard of our distress, he sent a servant ofhis own to the woman we hired the room of, paid our rent, and bought allthe goods with my wife's loom and gave it us all. Some other gentlemen, hearing of his design, were pleased to assist himin these generous acts, for which we never can be thankful enough; afterthis my children soon came about; we began to do pretty well again; mydear wife work'd hard and constant when she could get work, but it wasupon a disagreeable footing as her employ was so uncertain, sometimesshe could get nothing to do and at other times when the weavers of_Norwich_ had orders from London they were so excessively hurried, thatthe people they employ'd were often oblig'd to work on the_Sabbath-day_; but this my wife would never do, and it was matter ofuneasiness to us that we could not get our living in a regular manner, though we were both diligent, industrious, and willing to work. I wasfar from being happy in my Master, he did not use me well. I couldscarcely ever get my money from him; but I continued patient 'till itpleased GOD to alter my situation. My worthy friend Mr. Gurdney advised me to follow the employ of choppingchaff, and bought me an instrument for that purpose. There were but fewpeople in the town that made this their business beside myself; so thatI did very well indeed and we became easy and happy. --But we did notcontinue long in this comfortable state: Many of the inferior peoplewere envious and ill-natur'd and set up the same employ and work'd underprice on purpose to get my business from me, and they succeeded so wellthat I could hardly get any thing to do, and became again unfortunate:Nor did this misfortune come alone, for just at this time we lost one ofour little girls who died of a fever; this circumstance occasion'd usnew troubles, for the Baptist Minister refused to bury her because wewere not their members. The Parson of the parish denied us because shehad never been baptized. I applied to the Quakers, but met with nosuccess; this was one of the greatest trials I ever met with, as we didnot know what to do with our poor baby. --At length I resolv'd to dig agrave in the garden behind the house, and bury her there; when theParson of the parish sent for me to tell me he would bury the child, butdid not chuse to read the burial service over her. I told him I did notmind whether he would or not, as the child could not hear it. We met with a great deal of ill treatment after this, and found it verydifficult to live. --We could scarcely get work to do, and were obligedto pawn our cloaths. We were ready to sink under our troubles. --When Ipurposed to my wife to go to _Kidderminster_ and try if we could dothere. I had always an inclination for that place, and now more thanever as I had heard _Mr. Fawcet_ mentioned in the most respectfulmanner, as a pious worthy Gentleman; and I had seen his name in afavourite book of mine, Baxter's _Saints everlasting rest_, and as theManufactory of _Kidderminster_ seemed to promise my wife someemployment, she readily came into my way of thinking. I left her once more, and set out for _Kidderminster_, in order to judgeif the situation would suit us. --As soon as I came there I waitedimmediately on _Mr. Fawcet_, who was pleased to receive me very kindlyand recommended me to _Mr. Watson_ who employed me in twisting silk andworsted together. I continued here about a fortnight, and when I thoughtit would answer our expectation, I returned to _Norwich_ to fetch mywife; she was then near her time, and too much indisposed. So we wereobliged to tarry until she was brought to bed, and as soon as she couldconveniently travel we came to _Kidderminster_, but we brought nothingwith us as we were obliged to sell all we had to pay our debts and theexpences of my wife's illness, &c. Such is our situation at present. --My wife, by hard labor at the loom, does every thing that can be expected from her towards the maintenanceof our family; and God is pleased to incline the hearts of his People attimes to yield us their charitable assistance; being myself through ageand infirmity able to contribute but little to their support. AsPilgrims, and very poor Pilgrims, we are travelling through manydifficulties towards our Heavenly Home, and waiting patiently for hisgracious call, when the Lord shall deliver us out of the evils of thispresent world and bring us to the Everlasting Glories of the world tocome. --To HIM be Praise for Ever and Ever, AMEN. FINIS.