A NARRATIVE OF SOME OF THE LORD'S DEALINGS WITH GEORGE MÜLLER

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF

FIRST PART

NINTH EDITION

J. NISBET & CO. , BERNERS STREET, LONDON. 

TO BE ALSO HAD IN BRISTOL, AT THE BIBLE AND TRACT WAREHOUSE OF THE SCRIPTURAL KNOWLEDGEINSTITUTION FOR HOME AND ABROAD, No. 78 PARK STREET, AND THROUGHALL BOOKSELLERS. 

1865

[Entered at Stationers' Hall. ]

LONDON:DRYDEN PRESS: J. DAVY AND SONS, 137, LONG ACRE. 

PREFACE

TO THE

FIRST EDITION OF THE FIRST PART. 

It was only after the consideration of many months, and after muchself-examination as to my motives, and after much earnestprayer, that I came to the conclusion to write this littlework. I have not taken one single step in the Lord's service, concerning which I have prayed so much. My great disliketo increasing the number of religious books would, initself, have been sufficient to have kept me for ever from it, had I notcherished the hope of being instrumental in this way to lead some of mybrethren to value the Holy Scriptures more, and to judge by the standardof the word of God the principles on which they act. But that whichweighed more with me than any thing was, that I have reason to believefrom what I have seen among the children of God, that many of their trialsarise, either from want of confidence in the Lord as it regards temporalthings, or from carrying on their business in an unscriptural way. Onaccount, therefore, of the remarkable way in which the Lord has dealt withme in temporal things, within the last ten years, I feel that I am adebtor to the Church of Christ, and that I ought, for the benefit of mypoorer brethren especially, to make known, as much as I can, the way inwhich I have been led. In addition to this, I know it to be a fact, thatto many souls the Lord has blessed what I have told them about the way inwhich He has led me, and therefore it seemed to me a duty to use suchmeans, whereby others also, with whom I could not possibly converse, mightbe benefited. That which at last, on May 6, 1836, induced me finally todetermine to write this Narrative was, that, if the Lord should permit thebook to sell, I might, by the profits arising from the sale, be enabled ina greater degree to help the poor brethren and sisters among whom Ilabour, a matter which just at that time weighed much on my mind. Itherefore at last began to write. But after three days I was obliged tolay the work again aside, on account of my other pressing engagements. OnMay 15th I was laid aside on account of an abscess and now being unable, for many weeks, to walk about as usual, though able to work at home, I hadtime for writing. When the manuscript was nearly completed, I gave it to abrother to look it over, that I might have his judgment; and the Lord sorefreshed his spirit through it, that he offered to advance the means forhaving it printed, with the understanding that if the book should notsell, he would never consider me his debtor. By this offer not a smallobstacle was removed, as I have no means of my own to defray the expenseof printing. These two last circumstances, connected with many otherpoints, confirmed me that I had not been mistaken, when I came to theconclusion that it was the will of God, that I should serve His church inthis way. 

The fact of my being a foreigner, and therefore but very imperfectlyacquainted with the English language, I judged to be no sufficient reasonfor keeping me from writing. The Christian reader being acquainted withthis fact, will candidly excuse any inaccuracy of expression. 

For the poor among the brethren this Narrative is especially intended, and to their prayers I commend it in particular. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, July 5, 1837. 

EXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION OF THE FIRSTPART

As to this second edition I would mention, that, while in substanceit is the same as the first, yet, on account of my increasedacquaintance with the English language, many verbal alterationshave been made; also several alterations have been made on accountof the increased light which the Lord has been pleased to grantme since July, 1937; a few paragraphs have been entirely left out, and a few new paragraphs have been added. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, October 28, 1840. 

EXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION OF THE FIRST PART

As the second edition of four thousand copies is exhausted, andas the Lord condescends to bless this Narrative more and more, both to believers and unbelievers, it has appeared to me a debtwhich I owe to the church of God to publish this third edition. Several new paragraphs of considerable length have beenintroduced. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, June 17, 1845. 

PREFACE TO THE EIGHTH EDITION OF THE FIRST PART

The Seventh edition of eight thousand copies is also exhausted, and the Lord condescends to bless yet more and more this Narrative, both to the the conversion of unbelievers, and to the edification ofHis own children. On this account I feel it my duty, as well as myprivilege, to send forth this new edition, in which scarcely anyalterations have been made. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, December, 1881. 

PREFACE TO THE NINTH EDITION

The reason which led me to the publication of the Eighth editionof this Narrative, has influenced me also to publish this Ninthedition. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, March, 1895. 

A

NARRATIVE, &c. &c. 

I was born at Kroppenstaedt, near Halberstadt, in the kingdom of Prussia, on September 27th, 1805. In January 1810 my parents removed toHeimersleben, about four miles from Kroppenstaedt, where my father wasappointed collector in the excise. As a warning to parents I mention, thatmy father preferred me to my brother, which was very injurious to both ofus. To me, as tending to produce in my mind a feeling of self-elevation;and to my brother, by creating in him a dislike both towards my father andme. 

My father, who educated his children on worldly principles, gave us muchmoney, considering our age; not in order that we might spend it, but, ashe said, to accustom us to possess money without spending it. The resultwas, that it led me and my brother into many sins. For I repeatedly spenta part of the money in a childish way, and afterwards, when my fatherlooked over my little treasure, I sought to deceive him in making up theaccounts, either by not putting down all the money which he had given me, or by professing to have more money in hand than was the case, andcounting it out accordingly before him. Now, though this deceit was foundout at last, and I was punished, yet I remained the same. For before I wasten years old I repeatedly took of the government money which wasintrusted to my father, and which he had to make up; till one day, as hehad repeatedly missed money, he detected my theft, by depositing a countedsum in the room where I was, and leaving me to myself for a while. Beingthus left alone, I took some of the money, and hid it under my foot in myshoe. When my father, after his return, had counted and missed the money, I was searched and my theft detected. 

Though I was punished on this and other occasions, yet I do not rememberthat at any time, when my sins were found out, it made any otherimpression upon me than to make me think how I might do the thing the nexttime more cleverly, so as not to be detected. Hence it came, that this wasnot the last time that I was guilty of stealing. 

When I was between ten and eleven years of age, I was sent toHalberstadt, to the cathedral classical school, there to be prepared forthe university; for my father's desire was, that I should become aclergyman: not, indeed, that thus I might serve God, but that I might havea comfortable living. My time was now spent in studying, reading novels, and indulging, though so young, in sinful practices. Thus it continuedtill I was fourteen years old, when my mother was suddenly removed. Thenight she was dying, I, not knowing of her illness, was playing at cardstill two in the morning, and on the next day, being the Lord's day, I wentwith some of my companions in sin to a tavern, and then we went about thestreets, half intoxicated. 

The following day I attended, for the first time, the religiousinstruction, which I was to receive previous to my confirmation. Thislikewise was attended to in a careless manner; and when I returned to mylodgings, my father had arrived to fetch my brother and me home to ourmother's funeral. This bereavement made no lasting impression on my mind. I grew worse and worse. Three or four days before I was confirmed, (andthus admitted to partake of the Lord's supper, ) I was guilty of grossimmorality; and the very day before my confirmation, when I was in thevestry with the clergyman to confess my sins, (according to the usualpractice, ) after a formal manner, I defrauded him; for I handed over tohim only the twelfth part of the fee which my father had given me for him. 

In this state of heart, without prayer, without true repentance, withoutfaith, without knowledge of the plan of salvation, I was confirmed, andtook the Lord's supper, on the Sunday after Easter 1820. Yet I was notwithout some feeling about the solemnity of the thing, and I stayed athome in the afternoon and evening, whilst the other boys and girls, whohad been confirmed with me, walked about in the fields I also maderesolutions to turn from those vices in which I was living, and to studymore. But as I had no regard to God, and attempted the thing in my ownstrength, all soon came to nothing, and I still grew worse. 

Six weeks after my confirmation I went for a fortnight to Brunswick, to asister of my father, where I became attached to a young female, who was aRoman catholic. My time till Midsummer 1821 was spent partly in study, butin a great degree in playing the piano-forte and guitar, reading novels, frequenting taverns, forming resolutions to become different, yet breakingthem almost as fast as they were made. My money was often spent on mysinful pleasures, through which I was now and then brought into trouble, so that once, to satisfy my hunger, I stole a piece of coarse bread, theallowance of a soldier who was quartered in the house where I lodged. Whata bitter, bitter thing is the service of Satan, even in this world!!

At Midsummer 1821 my father obtained an appointment at Schoenebeck, nearMagdeburg, and I embraced the opportunity of entreating him to remove meto the cathedral classical school of Magdeburg; for I thought, that, if Icould but leave my companions in sin, and get out, of certain snares, andbe placed under other tutors, I should then live a different life. But asmy dependence in this matter also was not upon God, I fell into a stillworse state. My father consented, and I was allowed to leave Halberstadt, and to stay at Heimersleben till Michaelmas. During that time Isuperintended, according to my father's wish, certain alterations, whichwere to be made in his house there, for the sake of letting it profitably. Being thus quite my own master, I grew still more idle, and lived as muchas before in all sorts of sin. 

When Michaelmas came, I persuaded my father to leave me at Heimerslebentill Easter, and to let me read the classics with a clergyman living inthe same place. As Dr. Nagel was a very learned man, and also in the habitof having pupils under his care, and a friend of my father, my request wasgranted. I was now living on the premises belonging to my father, underlittle real control, and intrusted with a considerable sum of money, whichI had to collect for my father, from persons who owed it to him. My habitssoon led me to spend a considerable part of this money, giving receiptsfor different sums, yet leaving my father to suppose I had not receivedthem. 

In November I went on a pleasure excursion to Magdeburg, where I spentsix days in much sin; and though my absence from home had been found outby my father, before I returned from thence; yet I took all the money Icould obtain, and went to Brunswick, after I had, through a number oflies, obtained permission from my tutor. The reason of my going toBrunswick was, the attachment I had formed eighteen months previously tothe young female residing there. I spent a week at Brunswick, in anexpensive hotel. At the end of the week my money was expended. This, aswell as the want of a passport, prevented my staying any longer in thehotel; but as I still wished to remain at Brunswick, I went to my uncle, the husband of my father's sister, and made some excuse for not havinggone to him in the first instance. My uncle, seeing I suppose my unsteadylife, intimated after a week, that he did not wish me to remain with himany longer. 

I then went, without money, to another hotel, in a village nearBrunswick, where I spent another week in an expensive way of living. Atlast, the owner of the hotel suspecting that I had no money, asked forpayment, and I was obliged to leave my best clothes as a security, andcould scarcely thus escape from being arrested. I then walked about sixmiles, to Wolfenbuttel, went to an inn, and began again to live as if Ihad plenty of money. Here I stayed two days, looking out for anopportunity to run away; for I had now nothing remaining to leave as apledge. But the window of my room was too high to allow of my escaping, bygetting down at night. On the second or third morning I went quietly outof the yard, and then ran off; but being suspected and observed, andtherefore seen to go off, I was immediately called after, and so had toreturn. 

I now confessed my case, but found no mercy. I was arrested, and takenbetween two soldiers to a police officer. Being suspected by him to be avagabond or thief, I was examined for about three hours, and then sent togaol. I now found myself at the age of sixteen, an inmate of the samedwelling with thieves and murderers, and treated accordingly. My superiormanners profited nothing. For though, as a particular favour, I receivedthe first evening some meat with my bread, I had the next day the commonallowance of the prisoners, --very coarse bread and water, and for dinnervegetables, but no meat. My situation was most wretched. I was locked upin this place day and night, without permission to leave my cell. Thedinner was such that on the first day I completely loathed it; and left ituntouched. The second day I took a little, the third day all, and thefourth and following days I would fain have had more. On the second day Iasked the keeper for a Bible, not to consider its blessed contents, but topass away the time. However, I received none. Here then I was; no creaturewith me; no book, no work in my hands, and large iron rails before mynarrow window. 

During the second night I was awakened out of my sleep by the rattling ofthe bolts and keys. Three men came into my room. When I asked them in myfright what it meant, they laughed at me, continuing quietly to try theiron rails, to see whether I could escape. --After a few days I found out, that a thief was imprisoned next to me, and, as far as a thick woodenpartition would allow of it, I conversed with him; and shortly after thegovernor of the prison allowed him, as a favour to me, to share my cell. We now passed away our time in relating our adventures, and I was by thistime so wicked, that I was not satisfied with relating things of which Ihad been really guilty, but I even invented stories, to show him what afamous fellow I was. 

I waited in vain day after day to be liberated. --After about ten or twelvedays my fellow prisoner and I disagreed, and thus we two wretched beings, to increase our wretchedness, spent day after day without conversingtogether. --I was in prison from December 18th, 1821, till January 12th, 1822, when the keeper came and told me to go with him to the policeoffice. Here I found, that the Commissioner, before whom I had been tried, had first written to my uncle at Brunswick, and when he had written inreply, that it was better to acquaint my father with my conduct, theCommissioner had done so; and thus I was kept in prison till my fathersent the money which was needed for my traveling expenses, to pay my debtin the inn, and for my maintenance in the prison. So ungrateful was I now, for certain little kindnesses shown to me by my fellow-prisoner, that, although I had promised to call on his sister, to deliver a message fromhim, I omitted to do so; and so little had I been benefited by this mychastisement, that, though I was going home to meet an angry father, onlytwo hours after I had left the town where I had been imprisoned, I chosean avowedly wicked person as my traveling companion for a great part of myjourney. 

My father, who arrived two days after I had reached Heimersleben, afterhaving severely beaten me, took me home to Schoenebeck, intending to keepme there till Easter, and then to send me to a classical school at Halle, that I might be under strict discipline and the continual inspection of atutor. In the meantime I took pupils, whom I instructed in Latin, French, arithmetic, and German Grammar. I now endeavoured, by diligence in study, to regain the favour of my father. My habits were, as to outwardappearance, exemplary. I made progress in my own studies, benefited mypupils, and was soon liked by every body around me, and in a short time myfather had forgotten all. But all this time I was in heart as bad as ever;for I was still in secret habitually guilty of great sins. 

Easter came, and on account of my good behaviour, my diligence in study, and also because I was no expense to my father, but earned much more thanI cost him, I easily persuaded him to let me stay at home till Michaelmas. But after that period he would not consent to my remaining any longer withhim, and therefore I left home, pretending to go to Halle to be examined. But having a hearty dislike to the strict discipline of which I had heard, and knowing also that I should meet there young men attending theuniversity with whom I was acquainted, enjoying all the liberty of Germanstudents, whilst I myself was still at school: for these and other reasonsI went to Nordhausen, and had myself examined by the director of thegymnasium, to be received into that school. I then went home, but nevertold my father a word of all this deception, till the day before mydeparture, which obliged me to invent a whole chain of lies. He was thenvery angry; but at last, through my entreaties and persuasion, he gave wayand allowed me to go. This was in the beginning of October, 1822. 

I continued at Nordhausen two years and six months, till Easter, 1825. During this time I studied with considerable diligence the Latin classics, French, history, my own language, &c. ; but did little in Hebrew, Greek, and the Mathematics. I lived in the house of the director, and got, through my conduct, highly into his favour, so much so, that I was held upby him in the first class as an example to the rest, and he used to takeme regularly with him in his walks, to converse with me in Latin. I usednow to rise regularly at four, winter and summer, and generally studiedall the day, with little exception, till ten at night. 

But whilst I was thus outwardly gaining the esteem of my fellow-creatures, I did not care in the least about God, but lived secretly inmuch sin, in consequence of which I was taken ill, and for thirteen weeksconfined to my room. During my illness I had no real sorrow of heart, yetbeing under certain natural impressions of religion, I read throughKlopstock's works without weariness. I cared nothing about the word ofGod. I had about three hundred books of my own, but no Bible. Ipractically set a far higher value upon the writings of Horace and Cicero, Voltaire and Moliere, than upon the volume of inspiration. Now and then Ifelt that I ought to become a different person, and I tried to amend myconduct, particularly when I went to the Lord's supper, as I used to dotwice every year, with the other young men. The day previous to attendingthat ordinance, I used to refrain from certain things; and on the dayitself I was serious, and also swore once or twice to God, with the emblemof the broken body in my mouth, to become better, thinking that for theoath's sake I should be induced to reform. But after one or two days wereover, all was forgotten, and I was as bad as before. 

I had now grown so wicked, that I could habitually tell lies withoutblushing. And further, to show how fearfully wicked I was, I will mention, out of many others, only one great sin, of which I was guilty, before Ileft this place. Through my dissipated life I had contracted debts, whichI had no means of discharging; for my father could allow me only about asmuch as I needed for my regular maintenance. One day, after havingreceived a sum of money from him, and having purposely shown it to some ofmy companions, I afterwards feigned that it was stolen, having myself byforce injured the lock of my trunk, and having also designedly forced openmy guitar case. I also feigned myself greatly frightened at what hadhappened, ran into the director's room with my coat off, and told him thatmy money was stolen. I was greatly pitied. Some friends also gave me nowas much money as I pretended to have lost, and the circumstance affordedme a ground upon which to ask my creditors to wait longer. But this matterturned out bitterly; for the director, having ground to suspect me, thoughhe could not prove anything, never fully restored me to his confidence. 

As it regards my own feeling, though I was very wicked, yet thisdesperate act of depravity was too much, even for my hardened conscience;for it never afterwards allowed me to feel easy in the presence of thedirector's wife, who, like a kind mother, had waited on me in my illness, and on whom I had now so willfully brought trouble. How long-suffering wasGod at this time, not to destroy me at once! And how merciful that he didnot suffer me to be tried before the police, who easily would havedetected that the whole was a fabrication! I was heartily glad for manyreasons, but particularly on account of this latter circumstance, to beable soon after to exchange the school for the university. 

I had now obtained what I had fondly looked forward to. I became a memberof the university, and that with very honourable testimonials. I had thusobtained permission to preach in the Lutheran Establishment, but I was astruly unhappy, and as far from God as ever. I had made strong resolutions, now at last, to change my course of life, for two reasons: first, because, without it, I thought no parish would choose me as their pastor; andsecondly, that without a considerable knowledge of divinity I should neverget a good living, as the obtaining of a valuable cure, in Prussia, generally depends upon the degree which the candidates of the ministryobtain in passing the examination. But the moment I entered Halle, theuniversity town, all my resolutions came to nothing. --Being now more thanever my own master, and without any control as long as I did not fight aduel, molest the people in the streets, &c. , I renewed my profligate lifeafresh, though now a student of divinity. When my money was spent, Ipawned my watch and a part of my linen and clothes, or borrowed in otherways. Yet in the midst of it all I had a desire to renounce this wretchedlife, for I had no enjoyment in it, and had sense enough left to see, thatthe end one day or other would be miserable; for I should never get aliving. But I had no sorrow of heart on account of offending God. 

One day when I was in a tavern with some of my wild fellow-students, Isaw among them one of my former school-fellows, named Beta, whom I hadknown four years before at Halberstadt, but whom at that time haddespised, because he was so quiet and serious. It now appeared well to meto choose him as my friend, thinking that if I could but have bettercompanions, I should by that means improve my own conduct. I entered intofamiliar discourse with him, and we were soon much knit to one another. "Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm. "Jeremiah xvii. 5. 

This Beta was a backslider. When formerly he was so quiet at school, Ihave reason to believe it was because the Spirit of God was working on hisheart; but now, having departed from the Lord, he tried to put off theways of God more and more, and to enjoy the world of which he had knownbut little before. I sought his friendship because I thought it would leadme to a steady life; and he gladly formed an acquaintance with me, as hetold me afterwards, because he thought it would bring him into gaysociety. Thus my poor foolish heart was again deceived. And yet, God, inHis abundant mercy, made him, after all, in a way which was never thoughtof by me, the instrument of doing me good, not merely for time, but foreternity. 

About this period, June 1825, I was again taken ill in consequence of myprofligate and vicious life. My state of health would therefore no longerallow me to go on in the same course, but my desires were still unchanged. About the end of July I recovered. After this, my conduct was outwardlyrather better; but this arose only from want of money. At the commencementof August, Beta and I with two other students, drove about the country, for four days. All the money for this expensive pleasure had been obtainedby pledging some of our remaining articles. When we returned, instead ofbeing truly sorry on account of this sin, we thought of fresh pleasures, and, as my love for traveling was stronger than ever, through what I hadseen on this last journey, I proposed to my friends to set off forSwitzerland. The obstacles in the way, the want of money, and the want ofthe passports, were removed by me. For, through forged letters from ourparents, we procured passports; and through pledging all we could, particularly our books, we obtained as much money as we thought would beenough. Beta was one of the party. 

On August 18th we left Halle. It will be enough to say that we went asfar as Mount Rigi in Switzerland, by the way of Erfurt, Frankfort, Heidelberg, Stuttgart, Zurich, and returned by the way of Constance, Ulm, and Nuremberg. Forty-three days we were, day after day, traveling, almostalways on foot. I had now obtained the desire of my heart. I had seenSwitzerland. But still I was far from being happy. The Lord mostgraciously preserved us from many calamitous circumstances, which, but forHis gracious providence, might have overtaken us. But I did not see Hishand at that time, as I have seen it since. Sickness of one or more of us, or separation from one another, which might have so easily befallen us, would have brought us, being so far from home, and having but just as muchmoney as was absolutely needed, into a most miserable condition. I was onthis journey like Judas; for, having the common purse, I was a thief. Imanaged so, that the journey cost me but two-thirds of what it cost myfriends. Oh! how wicked was I now. At last all of us became tired ofseeing even the most beautiful views; and whilst at first, after havingseen certain scenes, I had been saying with Horace, at the end ofthe day, in my pagan heart, "Vixi, " (I have lived), I was now glad toget home again. 

September 29th we reached Halle, from whence each of us, for theremainder of the vacation, went to his father's house. I had now, by manylies, to satisfy my father concerning the traveling expenses, andsucceeded in deceiving him. During the three weeks I stayed at home Idetermined to live differently for the future. Once more the Lord showedme what resolutions come to, when made in man's strength. I was differentfor a few days; but when the vacation was over, and fresh students came, and, with them, fresh money, all was soon forgotten. 

At that time Halle was frequented by 1260 students, about 900 of whomstudied divinity, all of which 900 were allowed to preach, although, Ihave reason to believe, not nine of them feared the Lord. 

The time was now come when God would have mercy upon me. His love hadbeen set upon such a wretch as I was before the world was made. His lovehad sent His Son to bear the punishment due to me on account of my sins, and to fulfill the law which I had broken times without number. And now ata time when I was as careless about Him as ever, He sent His Spirit intomy heart. I had no Bible, and had not read in it for years. I went tochurch but seldom; but, from custom, I took the Lord's supper twice ayear. I had never heard the gospel preached, up to the beginning ofNovember 1825. I had never met with a person who told me that he meant, bythe help of God, to live according to the Holy Scriptures. In short, I hadnot the least idea, that there were any persons really different frommyself, except in degree. 

One Saturday afternoon, about the middle of November 1825, I had taken awalk with my friend Beta. On our return he said to me, that he was in thehabit of going on Saturday evenings to the house of a Christian, wherethere was a meeting. On further enquiry he told me that they read theBible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon. No sooner had I heardthis, than it was to me as if I had found something after which I had beenseeking all my life long. I immediately wished to go with my friend, whowas not at once willing to take me; for knowing me as a gay young man, hethought I should not like this meeting. At last, however, he said he wouldcall for me. --I would here mention, that Beta seems to have had convictionof sin, and probably also a degree of acquaintance with the Lord, whenabout fifteen years old. Afterwards, being in a cold and worldly state, hejoined me in this sinful Journey to Switzerland. On his return, however, being extremely miserable, and convinced of his guilt, he made a fullconfession of his sin to his father; and whilst with him, sought theacquaintance of a Christian brother, named Richter. This Dr. Richter, whohimself had studied a few years before at Halle, gave him, on his returnto the university, a letter of introduction to a believing tradesman, ofthe name of Wagner. It was this brother, concerning whom Beta spoke to me, and in whose house the meeting was held. 

We went together in the evening. As I did not know the manners ofbelievers, and the joy they have in seeing poor sinners, even in anymeasure caring about the things of God, I made an apology for coming. Thekind answer of this dear brother I shall never forget. He said: "Come asoften as you please; house and heart are open to you. " We sat down andsang a hymn. Then brother Kayser, now a missionary in Africa, inconnection with the London Missionary Society, who was then living atHalle, fell on his knees, and asked a blessing on our meeting. Thiskneeling down made a deep impression upon me; for I had never either seenany one on his knees, nor had I ever myself prayed on my knees. He thenread a chapter and a printed sermon; for no regular meetings forexpounding the Scriptures were allowed in Prussia, except an ordainedclergyman was present. At the close we sang another hymn, and then themaster of the house prayed. Whilst he prayed, my feeling was somethinglike this: "I could not pray as well, though I am much more learned thanthis illiterate man. " The whole made a deep impression on me. I was happy;though, if I had been asked, why I was happy, I could not have clearlyexplained it. 

When we walked home, I said to Beta, "All we have seen on our journey toSwitzerland, and all our former pleasures, are as nothing in comparisonwith this evening. " Whether I fell on my knees when I returned home, I donot remember; but this I know, that I lay peaceful and happy in my bed. This shows that the Lord may begin His work in different ways. For I havenot the least doubt, that on that evening, He began a work of grace in me, though I obtained joy without any deep sorrow of heart, and with scarcelyany knowledge. That evening was the turning point in my life. --The nextday, and Monday, and once or twice besides, I went again to the house ofthis brother, where I read the Scriptures with him and another brother;for it was too long for me to wait till Saturday came again. 

Now my life became very different, though not so, that all sins weregiven up at once. My wicked companions were given up; the going to tavernswas entirely discontinued; the habitual practice of telling falsehoods wasno longer indulged in, but still a few times after this I spoke anuntruth. --At the time when this change took place, I was engaged intranslating a novel out of French into German, for the press, in order toobtain the means of gratifying my desire to see Paris, &c. This plan aboutthe journey was now given up, though I had not light enough to give up thework in which I was engaged, but finished it. The Lord, however, mostremarkably put various obstacles in the way and did not allow me to sellthe manuscript. At last, seeing that the whole was wrong, I determinednever to sell it, and was enabled to abide by this determination. Themanuscript was burnt. 

I now no longer lived habitually in sin, though I was still oftenovercome, and sometimes even by open sins, though far less frequently thanbefore, and not without sorrow of heart. I read the Scriptures, prayedoften, loved the brethren, went to church from right motives, and stood onthe side of Christ; though laughed at by my fellow-students. 

It had pleased God to teach me something of the meaning of that precioustruth: "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, thatwhosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. "I understood something of the reason why the Lord Jesus died on the cross, and suffered such agonies in the Garden of Gethsemane: even that thus, bearing the punishment due to us, we might not have to bear it ourselves. And, therefore, apprehending in some measure the love of Jesus for mysoul, I was constrained to love Him in return. What all the exhortationsand precepts of my father and others could not effect; what all my ownresolutions could not bring about, even to renounce a life of sin andprofligacy: I was enabled to do, constrained by the love of Jesus. Theindividual who desires to have his sins forgiven, must seek for it throughthe blood of Jesus. The individual who desires to get power over sin, mustlikewise seek it through the blood of Jesus. 

In January 1826, I began to read missionary papers, and was greatlystirred up to become a missionary myself. I prayed frequently concerningthis matter, and thus made more decided progress for a few weeks. Butsoon, alas! I was drawn aside. I used frequently to meet a young female, who also came to the meetings on Saturday evenings; and being the onlypious female of my own age, whom I knew, I soon felt myself greatlyattached to her. This led away my heart from missionary work, for I hadreason to believe that her parents would not allow her to go with me. Myprayers now became cold and formal, and at length were almost entirelygiven up. My joy in the Lord left me. In this state I continued for aboutsix weeks. At the end of that time, about Easter 1826, I saw a devotedyoung brother, named Hermann Ball, a learned man, and of wealthy parents, who, constrained by the love of Christ, preferred labouring in Polandamong the Jews as a missionary, to having a comfortable living near hisrelations. His example made a deep impression on me. I was led to applyhis case to my own, and to compare myself with him; for I had given up thework of the Lord, and, I may say, the Lord Himself, for the sake of agirl. The result of this comparison was, that I was enabled to give upthis connexion, which I had entered into without prayer, and which thushad led me away from the Lord. When I was enabled to be decided, the Lordsmiled on me, and I was, for the first time in my life, able fully andunreservedly to give up myself to Him. 

It was at this time that I began truly to enjoy the peace of God, whichpasseth all understanding. In this my joy I wrote to my father andbrother, entreating them to seek the Lord, and telling them how happy Iwas; thinking, that if the way to happiness were but set before them, theywould gladly embrace it. To my great surprise an angry answer wasreturned. --About this period the Lord sent a believer, Dr. Tholuck, asprofessor of divinity to Halle, in consequence of which a few believingstudents came from other universities. Thus also, through becomingacquainted with other brethren, the Lord led me on. 

With the revival of the work of grace in my heart, after the snare abovereferred to had been broken, my former desire, to give myself tomissionary service, returned, and I went at last to my father to obtainhis permission, without which I could not be received into any of theGerman missionary institutions. My father was greatly displeased, andparticularly reproached me, saying that he had expended so much money onmy education, in hope that he might comfortably spend his last days withme in a parsonage, and that he now saw all these prospects come tonothing. He was angry, and told me he would no longer consider me as hisson. But the Lord gave me grace to remain steadfast. He then entreated me, and wept before me; yet even this by far harder trial the Lord enabled meto bear. Before I went away I took an opportunity of reminding my brotherof my former wicked life, and told him that now, having been thus blessedby God, I could not but live for Him. After I had left my father, though Iwanted more money than at any previous period of my life, as I had toremain two years longer in the university, I determined, never to take anymore from him; for it seemed to me wrong, so far as I remember, to suffermyself to be supported by him, when he had no prospect that I shouldbecome, what he would wish me to be, namely, a clergyman with a goodliving. This resolution I was enabled to keep. 

By the way I would here observe, that the Lord afterwards, in a mostremarkable way, supplied my temporal wants. For shortly after this hadoccurred, several American gentlemen, three of whom were professors inAmerican colleges, came to Halle for literary purposes; and as they didnot understand German, I was recommended by Dr. Tholuck to teach them. These gentlemen, some of whom were believers, paid so handsomely for theinstruction which I gave them, and for the lectures of certain professorswhich I wrote out for them, that I had enough and to spare. Thus did theLord richly make up to me the little which I had relinquished for Hissake. "0 fear the Lord, ye His saints; for there is no want to them thatfear Him. " Psalm xxxiv. 9. 

On my return from my father to Halle, I found that the more experiencedbrethren thought that I ought for the present to take no further stepsrespecting my desire to go out as a missionary. But still it was more orless in my mind. --Whitsuntide and the two days following I spent in thehouse of a pious clergyman in the country: for all the ministers at Halle, a town of more than 30, 000 inhabitants, were unenlightened men, Godgreatly refreshed me through this visit. Dear Beta was with me. On ourreturn we related to two of our former friends, whose society we had notquite given up, though we did not any longer live with them in sin, howhappy we had been on our visit. I then told them how I wished they were ashappy as ourselves. They answered, we do not feel that we are sinners. After this I fell on my knees, and asked God to show them that they weresinners. Having done so, I left them, and went into my bed-room, where Icontinued to pray for them. After a little while I returned to mysitting-room, and found them both in tears, and both told me thatthey now felt themselves to be sinners. From that time a work of gracecommenced in their hearts. 

Shortly after this, being still greatly exercised about going out as amissionary, and wishing much (according to my natural mind, as I now see, )to have the matter settled, in one way or the other, without being willingquietly, patiently, and prayerfully to wait on the Lord, I came to theconclusion to ascertain the Lord's mind by the lot. To this end I notmerely drew a lot in private, but I bought a ticket in the royal lottery;and I left it thus with the Lord, that if I gained any thing, I shouldtake it to be His will that I should become a missionary, if not, that Ishould remain at home. My ticket came out with a small sum, on account ofwhich it appeared to me that I should be a missionary. I therefore appliedto the Berlin Missionary Society, but was not accepted, because my fatherhad not given his consent. 

Very soon afterwards I was led to see in some degree, and since then muchmore fully, the error into which I had fallen respecting the lot. In thefirst place it was altogether wrong, that I, a child of God, should haveany thing to do with so worldly a system as that of the lottery. But itwas also unscriptural to go to the lot at all for the sake of ascertainingthe Lord's mind, and this I ground on the following reasons. We haveneither a commandment of God for it, nor the example of our Lord, nor thatof the apostles, after the Holy Spirit had been given on the day ofPentecost. 1. We have many exhortations in the word of God to seek to knowHis mind by prayer and searching the Holy Scriptures, but no passage whichexhorts us to use the lot. 2. The example of the apostles (Acts i. ) inusing the lot, in the choice of an apostle, in the room of Judas Iscariot, is the only passage, which can be brought in favour of the lot, from theNew Testament, (and to the Old we have not to go under this dispensation, for the sake of ascertaining how we ought to live as disciples of Christ). Now concerning this circumstance we have to remember, that the Spirit wasnot yet given (John vii. 39; ch. Xiv. 16, 17; ch. Xvi. 7, 13), by whoseteaching especially it is that we may know the mind of the Lord; and hencewe find, that, after the day of Pentecost, the lot was no more used, butthe apostles gave themselves to prayer and fasting to ascertain how theyought to act. 

In addition to this I would give my own experience concerning the lot, but only by way of illustrating the view just given; for the word of Godis quite sufficient on the subject. And first as it regards my using thelot in the above case. How did it turn out? I had repeatedly asked theLord to show me His mind, whether He would have me to be a missionary ornot. But not coming to a satisfactory assurance, and being very anxious tohave the matter settled, I found out in my own judgment a much shorterway, namely, the lot. I ought to have said to myself, how can anindividual, so ignorant as you are, think about being a teacher to others?For though I was truly begotten again, and rested upon Christ alone forsalvation, still I should not have been able to give a clear explanationof even the most elementary truths of the Gospel. How then could I be fitto teach others? The first thing therefore I ought to have done, was, toseek through much prayer, and searching the Scriptures, and a holy life, to obtain more knowledge of divine things. Further, as to my impatience inwishing the matter settled, how could I have been fit to endure in thatstate the hardships and trials of a missionary life, in which my patience, no doubt, would have been much more severely tried? I therefore ought tohave said to myself, if I cannot wait quietly, though it be many monthslonger, before the Lord shows me clearly His will concerning the matter, how then can I be fit for missionary work? Instead of thus comparing mystate of heart and knowledge, with what is required in the Scriptures fromhim who is to be a teacher, I ran hastily to the lot, and thought I haddone it prayerfully. And how did it end? According to my prayers the lotdecided I should be a missionary among the heathen (and my mind, at thattime, especially inclined to the East Indies). But the way in which theLord has led me since has been very different. And it ought not to be saidin defense of the practice of deciding by lot--Perhaps the Lord meant youto be a missionary among the heathen, but you did not give yourself to thework? for I actually offered myself to a society, but was not accepted. Moreover, since 1826 I have repeatedly offered myself most solemnly to theLord for this work, and am as sure that it is not His will that I shouldgo out a missionary for the present, as I am sure of any thing. Nor couldit be said, that perhaps the Lord yet may call me for this work. For if Heshould be pleased to do so tomorrow, yet that would prove nothingconcerning the above point. For I did not use the lot to ascertain whetherat any period of my life I should be engaged in missionary work, butwhether I should then set about it. And to put such an explanation on thematter, would be acting as false prophets, who, when their propheciesfail, try to find out some way or other, whereby they may show that theirprophecies were true. 

About two years after I used the lot in another instance. I went one dayto a village about fifteen miles from Halle, to see the few believersthere. When I was about three miles from the place, it began to get dark;and finding myself in a spot where the road divided, and not knowing whichway I should choose, I was greatly perplexed. I stood a moment, and thenprayed to God to show me by the lot, which was the right way. Now, trulyone may say, if the use of the lot in our day is according to the will ofGod, this was particularly a case for the Lord to direct me through thismeans. For here was one of His children in need, looking up to his Fatherto help him, through the lot, out of his difficulty, and this His childalso on a journey in His service. I drew the lot and went the way to theleft. After some time I found I was on the wrong road. Now, at last, as Idid not know how to get into the right one, I did what I ought to havedone before, and what I believe to be a scriptural way of acting; I prayedthat the Lord graciously would send some one to put me into the right way;and almost immediately a carriage came up, and I was directedon my journey. 

In one other instance I used the lot some years after. It concerned amost important matter, important for my whole life. I had then a degree ofconviction, that I ought prayerfully and patiently to wait for the Lord'sdecision. But my natural mind would have the decision at once, and thusafter prayer I drew the lot, to have the matter in one way or othersettled. But facts turned out completely different from what the lotdecided. 

To ascertain the Lord's will we ought to use scriptural means. Prayer, the word of God, and His Spirit should be united together. We should go tothe Lord repeatedly in prayer, and ask Him to teach us by His Spiritthrough His word. I say, by His Spirit through His word. For if we shouldthink that His Spirit led us to do so and so, because certain facts are soand so, and yet His word is opposed to the step which we are going totake, we should be deceiving ourselves. 

For instance: A brother in business thinks he ought to leave the house inwhich he lives, because it is not in a good situation. He wishes to knowthe Lord's mind, as he says, and prays about the matter. After a few days, unexpectedly, a house is offered to him without seeking after it, in amuch better situation. The house is very suitable, as he thinks; the rentvery moderate; and moreover the person who offers him the house tells him, that, because he is a believer he will let him have it at this cheap rent. There is, however, this scriptural objection in the way. If he goes intothis house, he must carry on so large a business, to cover his expenses, that his time will be so occupied as to encroach upon those hours, whichought to be devoted to his spiritual interests. Now the scriptural way ofdeciding would be this: No situation, no business will be given to me byGod, in which I have not time enough to care about my soul (Matthew vi. 33). Therefore, however outward circumstances may appear, it can only beconsidered as permitted of God, to prove the genuineness of my love, faith, and obedience, but by no means as the leading of His providence toinduce me to act contrary to His revealed will. 

In connexion with this I would mention, that the Lord very graciouslygave me, from the very commencement of my divine life, a measure ofsimplicity and of childlike disposition in spiritual things, so thatwhilst I was exceedingly ignorant of the Scriptures, and was still fromtime to time overcome even by outward sins, yet I was enabled to carrymost minute matters to the Lord in prayer. And I have found "godlinessprofitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and ofthat which is to come. " Though very weak and ignorant, yet I had now, bythe grace of God, some desire to benefit others, and he who so faithfullyhad once served Satan, sought now to win souls for Christ. 

I may mention a few instances. I circulated every month, in differentparts of the country, about 300 missionary papers. I also sold anddistributed a considerable number of tracts, and often took my pocketsfull in my walks, and distributed them, and spoke to poor people whom Imet. I also wrote letters to some of my former companions in sin. Ivisited for thirteen weeks a sick man, who, when I first began to speak tohim about the things of God, was completely ignorant of his state as asinner, trusting for salvation in his upright and moral life. After someweeks, however, the Lord allowed me to see a decided change in him, and heafterwards repeatedly expressed his gratitude, that I had been sent to himby God, to be the means of opening his blind eyes. May this encourage thebelieving reader to sow the seed, though he does not see it spring up atonce. 

Thus the Lord condescended to begin to use me soon after my conversion, though but little; for I could bear but very little, as I did not see atthat time, as I do now, that God alone can give spiritual life at thefirst, and keep it up in the soul afterwards. How imperfectly, however, onaccount of my ignorance, some of these things were done, I will show bythe following instance. Once I met a beggar in the fields, and spoke tohim about his soul. But when I perceived it made no impression upon him, Ispoke more loudly; and when he still remained unmoved, I quite bawled intalking to him; till at last I went away, seeing it was of no use. Thoughnone had sought the Lord less than myself, when He was pleased to beginHis work in me; yet so ignorant was I of the work of the Spirit, that Ithought my speaking very loudly would force him into repentance towardsGod, and faith in the Lord Jesus. 

Having heard that there was a schoolmaster living in a village, about sixmiles from Halls, who was in the habit of holding a prayer meeting at fouro'clock every morning, with the miners, before they went into the pit, giving them also an address, I thought he was a believer; and as I knew sovery few brethren, I went to see him, in order, if it might be, tostrengthen his hands. About two years afterwards he told me, that when Icame to him first, he knew not the Lord, but that he had held theseprayer-meetings merely out of kindness to a relative, whose officeit was, but who bad gone on a journey; and that those addresses whichlie had read were not his own, but copied out of a book. He also told me, that he was much impressed with my kindness, and, what he consideredcondescension on my part in coming to see him, and this, together withmy conversation, had been instrumental in leading him to care about thethings of God; and I knew him ever afterwards as a true believer. 

This schoolmaster asked me, whether I would not preach in his parish, asthe aged and infirm clergyman would be very glad of my assistance. Up tothis time I had never preached, though for fifteen months past I mighthave done so as a student of divinity; for before Christmas 1825 I hadbeen mercifully kept from attempting to preach, (though I wrote to myfather about July that I had preached, because I knew it would pleasehim), and after Christmas, when I knew the Lord, I refrained from doingso, because I felt that I was yet too little instructed in the things ofGod. The same reason ought to have still kept me from preaching; yet Ithought, that, by taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written bya spiritual man, and committing it to memory, I might benefit the people. Had I reasoned scripturally, I should have said, surely it cannot be thewill of God, that I should preach in this way, if I have not enoughknowledge of the Scriptures to write a sermon. Moreover, I had not enoughlight nor tenderness of conscience to see, that I was a deceiver in thepulpit; for every body supposes, that the sermon a man preaches is, if notentirely, at least as to the most part, his own composition. 

I now set about putting a printed sermon into a suitable form, andcommitting it to memory. It was hard work. There is no joy in man's owndoings and choosings. It took me nearly a whole week to commit to memorysuch a sermon as would take up nearly an hour in repeating. I got throughit, but had no enjoyment in the work. It was on August 27, 1826, at eightin the morning, in a chapel of ease, in connexion with which my friend wasschoolmaster. 5 At eleven I repeated the same sermon verbatim in the parishchurch. There was one service more, in the afternoon, at which I needednot to have done any thing; for the schoolmaster might have read a printedsermon, as he used to do. But having a desire to serve the Lord, though Ioften knew not how to do it scripturally; and knowing that this aged andunenlightened clergyman had had this living for forty-eight years, andhaving therefore reason to believe, that the gospel scarcely ever had beenpreached in that place; I had it in my heart to preach again in theafternoon. But I had no second sermon committed to memory. It came, however, to my mind to read the 5th chapter of Matthew, and to make suchremarks as I was able. I did so. Immediately upon beginning to expound"Blessed are the poor in spirit, &c. " I felt myself greatly assisted; andwhereas in the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for the peopleto understand it, I now was listened to with the greatest attention, and Ithink was also understood. My own peace and joy were great. I felt this ablessed work. After the service I left the aged clergyman as soon aspossible, lest I should lose my enjoyment. 

On my way to Halle I thought, this is the way I should like always topreach. But then it came immediately to my mind, that such sort ofpreaching might do for illiterate country people, but that it never woulddo before a well educated assembly in town. I thought, the truth ought tobe preached at all hazards, but it ought to be given in a different form, suited to the hearers. Thus I remained unsettled in my mind as it regardsthe mode of preaching; and it is not surprising that I did not then seethe truth concerning this matter, for I did not understand the work of theSpirit, and therefore saw not the powerlessness of human eloquence. Further, I did not keep in mind, that if the most illiterate persons inthe congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most educated willunderstand it too; but that the reverse does not hold true. 

It was not till three years afterwards that I was led, through grace, tosee what I now consider the right mode of preparation for the publicpreaching of the Word. But about this, if God permit, I will say more whenI come to that period of my life. 

I now preached frequently, both in the churches of villages and towns, but never had any enjoyment in doing so, except when speaking in a simpleway; though the repetition of sermons, which had been committed to memory, brought more praise from my fellow-creatures. But from neither way ofpreaching did I see any fruit. It may be, that the last day may show thebenefit even of these feeble endeavours. One reason why the Lord did notpermit me to see fruit, seems to me, that I should have been most probablylifted up by success. It may be also, because I prayed exceedingly littlerespecting the ministry of the Word, and because I walked so little withGod, and was so rarely a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for theMaster's use. 

About the time that I first began to preach I lived for about two monthsin free lodgings, provided for poor students of divinity in theOrphan-House, built in dependence upon God, by that devoted andeminent servant of Christ, A. H. Franke, Professor of Divinity at Halle, who died 1727. I mention this, as some years afterwards I was benefitedmyself through the faith of this dear man of God. --About that time I wasstill so weak that I fell repeatedly into open sins, yet could notcontinue in them, nay, not even for a few days, without sorrow of heart, confession before God, and fleeing to the blood of the Lamb. And soignorant was I still, that I bought a crucifix in a frame, and hung it upin my room, hoping that being thus frequently reminded of the sufferingsof my Saviour, I should not fall so frequently into sin. But in a few daysthe looking to the crucifix was as nothing, and I fell about that verytime more than once deeply. 

About this time I formed an intimate acquaintance with a brother, who wasalso a divinity student: and as we loved one another so much, and were sohappy in one another's society, we thought that it would greatly add toour joy, and to one another's benefit, to live together, and that thus wemight mutually help one another. Accordingly in September 1826, I left thefree lodgings in the Orphan-House, and lived with him. But alas! we werenot aware, that because God is greatly glorified by the love and union ofHis people, for this very reason Satan particularly hates it, and will, therefore, in every possible way, seek to divide them. We ought to haveespecially prayed, and that frequently, that the Lord would keep ustogether in love; instead of which, I do not think that we at all feareddisunion, as we loved one another so much. For this reason our greatadversary soon got an advantage by our neglecting prayer concerning thispoint, and we were disunited, and love and union were not fully restoredbetween us till after we had been for some time separated. 

Having heard that a very rich lady of title, residing atFrankfort-on-the-Maine, about two hundred miles from Halle, was avery pious person, and, in visiting a charitable institution atDusselthal, had given very liberally; and wishing much about thecommencement of the year 1827 to help a poor relative with a small sumof money, and also to pay the remainder of the debt whichI had contracted for my traveling expenses to Switzerland: Iwrote to this lady, asking her to lend me a small sum of money, in actual amount only little above £5. , but, as money in the Northof Germany has much more value than in England, it was as much as £ 12. Or£ 15. In this country. Whilst I was writing, however, the thought occurredto me, Suppose this lady should not be a believer? I, therefore, pointedout to her the way of salvation, and related to her how I had been broughtto the knowledge of the truth. But I received no answer by the time Imight have had one. --I would just notice, that since 1829 my practice, onaccount of what I found in the Scriptures, Rom. Xiii. 8, as it regardsborrowing money, has been different. And, moreover, I have considered thatthere is no ground to go away from the door of the Lord to that of abeliever, so long as He is so willing to supply our need. 

About January 20th I was one day very wretched. Satan obtained anadvantage over me through over-much work; for I was in the habit ofwriting about fourteen hours a day. One morning I was in so wretched astate, that I said in my heart, what have I now gained by becoming aChristian? Afterwards I walked about in the streets in this wretched stateof heart, and at last I went into a confectioner's shop, where wine andardent spirits were sold, to eat and to drink. But as soon as I had takena piece of cake I left the shop, having no rest, as I felt that it wasunbecoming a believer, either to go to such places, or to spend his moneyin such a way. In the afternoon of the very day on which, in theingratitude of my heart, I had had such unkind thoughts about the Lord, (who was at that very time in so remarkable a manner supplying my temporalwants, by my being employed in writing for an AMERICAN Professor), Hegraciously showed me my sin, not by a severe chastisement, as I mostrighteously deserved, but by adding another mercy to the many He hadalready shown me. Oh! how long-suffering is our Lord. How does He bearwith us! May I at least now seek, for the few days whilst I may stay inthis world, to be more grateful for all His mercies!

At two o'clock I received a parcel from Frankfort, containing the exactsum of money of which I had requested the loan. There was no letter to befound. I was overwhelmed with the Lord's mercy, but very much regrettedthat there was no letter. At last, on carefully examining the paper inwhich the silver had been packed, I found one, which I have kept, andwhich I translate from the German. 

"A peculiar providence has brought me acquainted with the letter whichyou have written to Lady B. But you are under a mistake concerning her, both as it regards her character, and her stay at D. , where she never was. She has been taken for another individual. But that I may lessen in somemeasure the difficulties in which you seem to be, I send you the enclosedsmall sum, for which you may thank, not the unknown giver, but the Lord, who turneth the hearts like rivers of water. Hold fast the faith which Godhas given you by His Holy Spirit; it is the most precious treasure in thislife, and it contains in itself true happiness. Only seek by watching andprayer more and more to be delivered from all vanity and self-complacency, by which even the true believer may be ensnared when he least expects it. Let it be your chief aim to be more and more humble, faithful, and quiet. May we not belong to those who say and write continually, ' Lord, ' 'Lord, 'but who have Him not deeply in their hearts. Christianity consists not inwords, but in power. There must be life in us. For, therefore, God lovedus first that we might love Him in return; and that loving we mightreceive power, to be faithful to Him, and to conquer ourselves, the world, distress, and death. May His Spirit strengthen you for this, that you maybe an able messenger of His Gospel! Amen. 

"AN ADORING WORSHIPPER OF THE

SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST. "

Frankfort-on-the-Maine, January 14th, 1827. 

I saw, in some measure, at the time when I received t letter, how much Ineeded such a faithful, and, at the same time, loving word of admonition;but I have seen it more fully since. Self-complacency, and a want ofquietness and saying and writing more frequently "Lord, " "Lord, " thanacknowledging Him by my life as such; these were the evils against whichat that time I particularly needed to be cautioned; and up to this day Iam still much, very much, lacking in these points: though the Lord, to Hispraise I would say it, has done much for me in these particulars sincethat time. 

After having read this letter, my heart was full of joy, shame andgratitude. Truly it was the goodness of God which brought my heart intothis state, and not the money for that was gone in a few hours after forthe two purposes above referred to. With my heart full of peculiarfeelings, and ashamed of my conduct in the morning, I left the towntowards the evening, to walk alone in a solitary place. And now, beingparticularly conscious of my ingratitude to the Lord for all His mercies, and of my want of steadfastness in His ways, I could not forbear fallingdown on my knees behind a hedge, though the snow was a foot deep, anew tosurrender myself wholly to Him, and to pray for strength that I might forthe future live more to His glory, and also to thank Him for His latemercy. It was a blessed time, I continued about half an hour in prayer. 

After such an experience, it may be difficult for one, who does not knowthe plague of his own heart, to think that I was at that time a truebeliever, when I tell hint that so base was I, so altogether like a beastbefore my God, and unmindful of His mercies to me in Christ, that only afew weeks after I fell into a wretched backsliding state, in which Icontinued for many days, during which time prayer was almost entirelygiven up. It was on one of these days that I rang my bell, and ordered theservant to fetch me wine. And now I began to drink. But how good was theLord! Though I desired to drink, that I might be able more easily to goon in sin, yet He would not allow me to give up myself to the wickednessof my heart. For whilst in my ungodly days I had drunk once about fivequarts of strong beer in one afternoon, in the way of bravado, and oncealso much wine at one time, without remorse of conscience, I could nowtake only two or three glasses before the wickedness of my conduct wasbrought before me; and my conscience told me that I drank merely for thesake of drinking, and thus I gave it up. 

It was about this time that I formed the plan of exchanging theUniversity of Halle for that of Berlin, on account of there being agreater number of believing professors and students in the latter place. But the whole plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnestprayer. When, however, the morning came on which I had to take decidedsteps concerning it, and to apply for the university-testimonials, theLord graciously stirred me up, prayerfully to consider the matter; andfinding that I bad no sufficient reason for leaving Halle, I gave up theplan, and have never had reason to regret having done so. 

In the vacations, Michaelmas, 1826, and Easter, 1827, and at other times, I visited a Moravian settlement, called Gnadau, which was only about threemiles distant from the place where my father then resided. Through theinstrumentality of the brethren, whom I met there, my spirit was oftenrefreshed. 

The public means of grace by which I could be benefited were very few. Though I went regularly to church when I did not preach myself, yet Iscarcely ever heard the truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman inthe town. And when it so happened that I could bear Dr. Tholuck, or anyother godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand, and the looking backupon it afterwards, served to fill me with joy. Now and then I walked tenor fifteen miles to enjoy this privilege. May those who enjoy the faithfulministry of the Word feel exceedingly thankful for it. There are fewblessings on earth greater for a believer; and yet the Lord is frequentlyobliged to teach us the value of this blessing by depriving us of it for aseason. 

Another means of grace which I attended, besides the Saturday eveningmeetings in brother Wagner's house, was a meeting every Lord's day eveningwith the believing students, which consisted of six or more in number, andincreased, before I left Halle, to about 20; and which, after the Eastervacation of 1827, was held in my room till I left Halle. In these meetingsone, or two, or more of the brethren prayed, and we read the Scriptures, sang hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethren spoke alittle in the way of exhortation, and we read also such writings of godlymen as were calculated for edification. I was often greatly stirred up andrefreshed in these meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, andtherefore cold and miserable, I opened my heart to the brethren, and wasbrought out of that state through the means of their exhortations andprayers. "Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together, " is a mostimportant exhortation. Even if we should not derive any especial benefit, at the time, so far as we are conscious, yet we may be kept from muchharm. And very frequently the beginning of coldness of heart is nourishedby keeping away from the meetings of the saints. I know, when I was cold, and had no real desire to be brought out of that state, I went a few timesinto the villages, where I was sure not to meet with brethren, that Imight not be spoken to about the things of God. Yet so gracious was theLord, that my very wretchedness brought me back after a few hours. TheLord had begun a good work in me; and being faithful, though I wasfaithless, He would not give me up, but carried on His gracious work inme; though it would have progressed much more rapidly, had not myrebellious heart resisted. As to the other means of grace I would say: Ifell into the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the readingof religious books in preference to the Scriptures. I could no longer readFrench and German novels, as I had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind;but still I did not put into the room of those books the best of allbooks. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and biographies of godlypersons. The last kind of books I found more profitable than others, andhad they been well selected, or had I not read too much of such writings, or had any of them tended particularly to endear the Scriptures to me, they might have done me much good. --I never had been at any time in mylife in the habit of reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen yearsof age, I occasionally read a little of them at school; afterwards God'sprecious book was entirely laid aside, so that I never read one singlechapter of it, as far as I remember, till it pleased God to begin a workof grace in my heart. Now the scriptural way of reasoning would have been:God Himself has condescended to become an author, and I am ignorant aboutthat precious book, which His Holy Spirit has caused to be written throughthe instrumentality of His servants, and it contains that which I ought toknow, and the knowledge of which will lead me to true happiness; thereforeI ought to read again and again this most precious book, this book ofbooks, most earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation; and inthis practice I ought to continue all the days of my life. For I wasaware, though I read it but little, that I knew scarcely anything of it. But instead of acting thus, and being led by my ignorance of the word ofGod to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it, and the littleenjoyment I had in it, made me careless of reading it (for much prayerfulreading of the Word, gives not merely more knowledge, but increases thedelight we have in reading it); and thus, like many believers, Ipractically preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, theworks of uninspired men to the oracles of the living God. The consequencewas, that I remained a babe, both in knowledge and grace. In knowledge Isay; for all true knowledge must be derived, by the Spirit, from the Word. And as I neglected the Word, I was for nearly four years so ignorant, thatI did not clearly know even the fundamental points of our holy faith. Andthis lack of knowledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily inthe ways of God. For it is the truth that makes us free, (John viii. 31, 32, ) by delivering us from the slavery of the lusts of the flesh, thelusts of the eyes, and the pride of life. The Word proves it. Theexperience of the saints proves it; and also my own experience mostdecidedly proves it. For when it pleased the Lord in Aug. 1829, to bringme really to the Scriptures, my life and walk became very different. Andthough even since that I have very much fallen short of what I might andought to be, yet, by the grace of God, I have been enabled to live muchnearer to Him than before. 

If any believers read this, who practically prefer other books to theHoly Scriptures, and who enjoy the writings of men much more than the wordof God, may they be warned by my loss. I shall consider this book to havebeen the means of doing much good, should it please the Lord, through itsinstrumentality, to lead some of His people no longer to neglect the HolyScriptures, but to give them that preference, which they have hithertobestowed on the writings of men. My dislike to increase the number ofbooks would have been sufficient to deter me from writing these pages, hadI not been convinced, that this is the only way in which the brethren atlarge may be benefited through my mistakes and errors, and been influencedby the hope, that in answer to my prayers, the reading of my experiencemay be the means of leading them to value the Scriptures more highly, andto make them the rule of all their actions. 

Before I leave this subject I would only add: If the reader understandsvery little of the word of God, he ought to read it very much; for theSpirit explains the Word by the Word. And if he enjoys the reading of theWord little, that is just the reason why he should read it much; for thefrequent reading of the Scriptures creates a delight in them, so that themore we read them, the more we desire to do so. And if the reader shouldbe an unbeliever, I would likewise entreat him to read the Scripturesearnestly, but to ask God previously to give him a blessing. For in doingso, God may make him wise unto salvation, 2 Tim. Iii. 16. 

If any one should ask me, how he may read the Scriptures most profitably, I would advise him, that

I. Above all he should seek to have it settled in his own mind, that Godalone, by His Spirit, can teach him, and that therefore, as God will beinquired of for blessings, it becomes him to seek God's blessing previousto reading, and also whilst reading. 

II. He should have it, moreover, settled in his mind, that although theHoly Spirit is the best and sufficient teacher, yet that this teacher doesnot always teach immediately when we desire it, and that, therefore, wemay have to entreat Him again and again for the explanation of certainpassages; but that He will surely teach us at last, if indeed we areseeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and with a view to the glory ofGod. 

III. It is of immense importance for the understanding of the word ofGod, to read it in course, so that we may read every day a portion of theOld and a portion of the New Testament, going on where we previously leftoff. This is important--1, because it throws light upon the connexion, anda different course, according to which one habitually selects particularchapters, will make it utterly impossible ever to understand much of theScriptures. 2, Whilst we are in the body, we need a change even inspiritual things, and this change the Lord has graciously provided in thegreat variety which is to be found in His word. 3, It tends to the gloryof God; for the leaving out some chapters here and there, is practicallysaying, that certain portions are better than others; or, that there arecertain parts of revealed truth unprofitable or unnecessary. 4, It maykeep us, by the blessing of God, from erroneous views, as in reading thusregularly through the Scriptures, we are led to see the meaning of thewhole, and also kept from laying too much stress upon certain favouriteviews. 5, The Scriptures contain the whole revealed will of God, andtherefore we ought to seek to read from time to time through the whole ofthat revealed will. There are many believers, I fear, in our day, who havenot read even once through the whole of the Scriptures; and yet in a fewmonths, by reading only a few chapters every day, they might accomplish it. 

IV. It is also of the greatest importance to meditate on what we read, sothat perhaps a small portion of that which we have read, or, if we havetime, the whole may be meditated upon in the course of the day. Or a smallportion of a book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through which we goregularly for meditation, may be considered every day, without, however, suffering oneself to be brought into bondage by this plan. 

Learned commentaries I have found to store the head with many notions, and often also with the truth of God; but when the Spirit teaches, throughthe instrumentality of prayer and meditation, the heart is affected. Theformer kind of knowledge generally puffs up, and is often renounced, whenanother commentary gives a different opinion, and often also is found goodfor nothing, when it is to be carried out into practice. The latter kindof knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads us nearer to God, and isnot easily reasoned away; and having been obtained from God, and thushaving entered into the heart, and become our own, is also generallycarried out. If the inquirer after truth does not understand the Hebrewand Greek languages, so as to be able to compare the common translationwith the original, he may, concerning several passages, get light by animproved rendering, provided he can be sure that the translator was atruly spiritual person. 

The last and most important means of, grace, namely, prayer, wascomparatively but little improved by me. I prayed, and I prayed often. Ialso prayed, in general, by the grace of God, with sincerity; but had Ibeen more earnestly praying, or even only as much, as I have prayed oflate years, I should have made much more rapid progress. 

In August, 1827, I heard that the Continental Society in England intendedto send a minister to Bucharest, the residence of many nominal GermanChristians, to help an aged brother in the work of the Lord; the two otherGerman Protestant ministers in that place being, the one a Socinian, andthe other an unenlightened orthodox preacher. After consideration andprayer I offered myself for this work to professor Tholuck, who wasrequested to look out for a suitable individual; for with all my weaknessI had a great desire to live wholly for God. Most unexpectedly my fathergave his consent, though Bucharest was above a thousand miles from myhome, and as completely a missionary station as any other. I consideredthis a remarkable providence; though I see now, that a servant of Christhas to act for his Master, whether it be according to the will of hisearthly father or not. I then went home to, spend a short time with myfather. In the town where he lived, containing about 3000 inhabitants, Icould not hear of a single believer, though I made many inquiries. Thetime I stayed with my father was more profitably spent than it hadformerly been. I was enabled more than ever before to realize my highcalling. I had by the grace of God power over sin; at least much more thanat any former period of my life. 

I returned to Halle, and now prepared with earnestness for the work ofthe Lord. I set before me the sufferings which might await me. I countedthe cost. And he, who once so fully-served Satan, was now willing, constrained by the love of Christ, rather to suffer affliction for thesake of Jesus, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. I alsoprayed with, a degree of earnestness concerning my future work. 

One day, at the end of October, the above-mentioned brother, HermannBall, missionary to the Jews, attended the Lord's day evening meeting inmy room, on his way through Halle, and stated that he feared, on accountof his health, his should be obliged to give up labouring among the Jews. When I heard this, I felt a peculiar desire to fill up his place. Aboutthis very time also I became exceedingly fond of the Hebrew language, which I had cared about very little up to that time, and which I hadmerely studied now and then, from a sense of duty. But now I studied it, for many weeks, with the greatest eagerness and delight. Whilst I thusfrom time to time felt a desire to fill up Brother Ball's place as amissionary to the Jews, (about which, however, I did not seriously think, because Dr. Tholuck daily expected a letter from London, finally to settlethe particulars respecting my going to Bucharest); and whilst I thusgreatly delighted in the study of Hebrew: I called in the evening of Nov. 17th on Dr. Tholuck. In the course of conversation he asked me, whether Ihad ever had a desire to be a missionary to the Jews, as I might beconnected with the London Missionary Society, for promoting Christianityamong them, for which he was an agent. I was struck with the question, andtold him what had passed in my mind, but added that it was not proper tothink anything about that, as I was going to Bucharest: to which he agreed. 

When I came home, however, these few words were like fire within me. Thenext morning I felt all desire for going to Bucharest gone, which appearedto me very wrong and fleshly, and I therefore entreated the Lord, torestore to me the former desire for labouring on that missionary station. He graciously did so almost immediately. My earnestness in studyingHebrew, and my peculiar love for it, however, continued. About this time Ihad an offer of becoming tutor to the sons of a pious Gentleman of title, which I did not accept on account of my purpose of going to Bucharest, andif that should come to nothing, on account of my desire of being amissionary to the Jews. 

About ten days after, Dr. Tholuck received a letter from the ContinentalSociety, stating, that, on account of the war between the Turks andRussians, it appeared well to the committee, for the time being to give upthe thought of sending a minister to Bucharest, as it was the seat of warbetween the two armies. Dr. Tholuck then asked me again, what I nowthought about being a missionary to the Jews. My reply was, that I couldnot then give an answer, but that I would let him know, after I hadprayerfully considered the matter. After prayer and consideration, andconsulting with experienced brethren, in order that they might probe myheart as to my motives, I came to this conclusion, that, though I couldnot say with certainty it was the will of God that I should be amissionary to the Jews, yet, that I ought to offer myself to thecommittee, leaving it with the Lord to do with me afterwards, as it mightseem good in His sight. Accordingly Dr. Tholuck wrote, about the beginningof December, 1827, to the committee in London. 

At Christmas I spent a few days at Belleben, a village about fifteenmiles from Halle, where I had been once or twice before, both for the sakeof refreshing the few brethren living there, and also of having my ownspirit refreshed by their love. One evening, when I was expounding theScriptures to them, an unconverted young man happened to be present, andit pleased the Lord to touch his heart, so that he was brought to theknowledge of the truth. 

In the beginning of the year 1828 there was a new workhouse establishedat Halle, into which persons of bad character were put for a time, andmade to work. Being disposed to benefit unbelievers, I heartily desired tohave permission statedly to preach the word of truth to them while Istayed at Halle, particularly as I understood that one of the lecturers ofdivinity in the university, who was a Socinian, had applied for thisliving. I wrote to the magistrates of the city, and offered to preach tothose criminals gratuitously, hoping that in this way there would be lessobjection to my doing so. The reply was, that Dr. --had applied for thisliving, and that it had been laid before the provincial government forconsideration, but that they would be glad if I would preach in theworkhouse till the matter was decided. The decision did not come for sometime, and I had thus an opportunity of preaching twice every Lord's day, and once or twice on the week evenings; and besides this I took thecriminals one by one into a room, to converse with them about their souls. Thus the Lord condescended to give to one so unworthy, so ignorant, soweak in grace, and so young in the faith and in years, a most importantfield of labour. However, it was well, that even under these circumstancesI should have laboured there; for humanly speaking, had I not been there, they would have had either no instruction at all, or a Socinian, or anunenlightened preacher would have preached to them. And besides this, Ihad at least some qualification for ministering there; for I knew thestate of those poor sinners, having been myself formerly, in allprobability, a great deal worse than most of them, and my simplicity andplainness of speech they would not have found in every minister. Aftersome months the matter was decided, the Socinian lecturer of divinity, Dr. --, was appointed to the living, and I had to discontinue my labours. 

It was not before March 1828, that Professor Tholuck received an answerfrom London respecting me, in which the committee put a number ofquestions to me, on the satisfactory answers to which my being received bythem would depend. After replying to this first communication, I waiteddaily for an answer, and was so much the more desirous of having it, as mycourse in the university was completed. But no answer came. Had my desire, to serve the Lord among the Jews, been of the flesh, it would in alllikelihood not have continued; but I still thought about it, and continuedto make it a subject of prayer. At last, on June 13th, I received a letterfrom London, stating that the committee had determined, to take me as amissionary student for six months on probation, provided that I would cometo London. 

I had now had the matter before me about seven months, having supposed, not only that it would have been settled in a few weeks, but also, that, if I were accepted, I should be sent out immediately, as I had passed theuniversity. Instead of this, not only seven months passed over before thedecision came, but I was also expected to come to London, and not only so, but, though I had from my infancy been more or less studying, and now atlast wished actively to be engaged, it was required that I should againbecome a student. For a few moments, therefore, I was greatly disappointedand tried. But, on calmly considering the matter, it appeared to me butright that the committee should know me personally, and that it was alsowell for me to know them more intimately than merely by correspondence, asthis afterwards would make our connexion much more comfortable. Idetermined therefore, after I had seen my father, and found no difficultyon his part, to go to London. 

There was, however, an obstacle in the way of my leaving the country. Every Prussian male subject is under the necessity of being for threeyears a soldier, provided his state of body allows it; but those who havehad a classical education up to a certain degree, and especially those whohave passed the university, need to be only one year in the army, but haveto equip and maintain themselves during that year. Now, as I had beenconsidered fit for service, when I was examined in my twentieth year, andhad only been put back, at my own request, till my twenty-third year, andas I was now nearly twenty-three, I could not obtain a passport out of thecountry, till I had either served, my time, or had been exempted by theKing himself. The latter I hoped would be the case; for it was a wellknown fact that those who had given themselves to missionary service, hadbeen always exempted. Certain brethren of influence, living in thecapital, to whom I wrote on the subject, advised me, however, to writefirst to the president of the government of the province to which Ibelonged. This was done, but I was not exempted. Then those brethren wroteto the King himself; but he replied, that the matter must be referred tothe ministry and to the law, and no exception was made in my favour. 

I now knew not what to do. In the meantime, at the beginning of August, Iwas taken ill. It was a common cold at first, but I could not get rid ofit, as formerly. At last a skillful physician was consulted, and powerfulmeans were used. After some time, he prescribed tonics and wine. For a dayor two I seemed to get better, but after that it appeared, by the returnof giddiness in my head, that the tonics had been too soon resorted to. Atlast, having used still other means, I seemed in a fit state for tonics, and began again to take them. At the same time one of my friends, anAmerican Professor, took me as a companion with him to Berlin and otherplaces, so that we rode about the country for about ten days together. Aslong as I was day after day in the open air, going from place to place, drinking wine and taking tonics, I felt well; but as soon as I returned toHale, the old symptoms returned. A second time the tonics were given up, and the former means used. 

About ten weeks had by this time passed away, since I was first takenill. This illness, in which a particular care for the body seemed to be soright, and in which therefore frequent walks were taken, and in which Ithought myself justified in laying aside the study of Hebrew, &c. , had notat all a beneficial effect on my soul. In connexion with this one of mychief companions at this time, the last-mentioned American Professor, wasa backslider. If the believing reader does not know much of his own heartand of man's weakness, he will scarcely think it possible that, after Ihad been borne with by the Lord so long, and had received so many merciesat His hands, and had been so fully and freely pardoned through the bloodof Jesus, which I both knew from His word, and had also enjoyed; and afterthat I had been in such various ways engaged in the work of the Lord; Ishould have been once more guilty of great backsliding, and that at thevery time when the hand of God was lying heavily upon me. Oh! howdesperately wicked is the human heart. 

It was in this cold state of heart, that I rode with my friend toLeipsic, at the time of the famous Michaelmas fair. He wished me to gowith him to the Opera. I went, but had not the least enjoyment. After thefirst act I took a glass of ice for refreshment. After the second act Iwas taken faint in consequence of this, my stomach being in a very weakstate; but I was well enough; after a while, to go to the hotel, where Ipassed a tolerable night. On the next morning my friend ordered thecarriage for our return to Halle. This circumstance the Lord graciouslyused as a means of arousing me; and on our way home, I freely opened mymind to my friend about the way in which we had been going on; and he thentold me that he was in a different state of heart, when he left America. He also told me, when I was taken faint, that he thought it was an awfulplace to die in. This was the second and last time, since I have believedin the Lord Jesus, that I was in a theatre; and but once, in the year1827, I went to a concert, when I likewise felt, that it was unbecomingfor me, as a child of God, to be in such a place. On my return to Halle Ibroke a blood-vessel in my stomach, in consequence of the glass of ice. Iwas now exceedingly weak, in which state I continued far several weeks, and then went for change of air into the country, to the house of abeloved brother in the Lord, who, up to this day, has continued a kind andfaithful friend to me. My heart was now again in a better state than ithad been before the rupture of the blood-vessel, Thus the Lord, in thefaithful love of His heart, seeing that I was in a backsliding state, chastised me for my profit; and the chastisement yielded, in a measure atleast, the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Heb. Xii. 10, 11. 

Whilst I was staying in the country, I received a letter from theAmerican Professor, who had in the meantime changed Halle for Berlin, andwho wished me to come to Berlin, where, being near the Court, I should bemore likely to obtain an exemption from my military duty; and hementioned, at the same time, that all the expenses, connected with mystaying in Berlin, would be fully covered by the remuneration I shouldreceive for teaching German to himself and two of his friends, for a fewhours every week. As I had no more connexion with the university at Halle, my course having been finished for more than six months past, and as I hadthe prospect of being spiritually benefited through my stay in Berlin, andthere was no probability, if I remained at Halle, of obtaining theabove-mentioned exemption, I came to the conclusion to go to Berlin. 

Two ladies of title traveled with me to Berlin in a hired carriage. As Iknew that we should be for two days together, I thought, in my fleshlywisdom, that though I ought to speak to them about the things of God, Ishould first show them kindness and attention, and that, after having thusopened a way to their hearts, I might fully set before them their state bynature, and point them to the Lamb of God. We went on together mostamicably, I making only a few general remarks about divine things. On thesecond evening, however, when we were near the end of our journey, I feltthat it was high time to speak. And no sooner had I begun plainly to doso, than one of them replied, "Oh! Sir, I wish you had spoken sooner aboutthese things, for we have, for a long time, wished to have some one towhom we might open our hearts; but seeing that the ministers whom we knowdo not live consistently, we have been kept from speaking to them. " I nowfound that they had been under conviction of sin for some time, but didnot know the way to obtain peace, even by faith in the Lord Jesus. Afterthis I spoke freely to them during the hour that yet remained. They partedfrom me under feelings of gratitude and regret that they could hear nomore, for they only passed through Berlin. I felt myself greatly reproved, and all I could do was, by a long letter, to seek to make up for mydeficiency in ministering to them on the journey. May this circumstancenever be forgotten by me, and may it prove a blessing to the believingreader. 

My chief concern now was how I might obtain a passport for England, through exemption from military duty. But the more certain brethren tried, though they knew how to set about the matter, and were also persons ofrank, the greater difficulty there appeared to be in obtaining my object;so that in the middle of January 1829 it seemed as if I must immediatelybecome a soldier. There was now but one more way untried, and it was atlast resorted to. A believing major, who was on good terms with one of thechief generals, proposed that I should actually offer myself for enteringthe army, and that then I should be examined as to my bodilyqualifications, in the hope, that, as I was still in a very weak state ofbody, I should be found unfit for military service. In that case it wouldbelong to the chief general finally to settle the matter; who, being agodly man himself, on the major's recommendation would, no doubt, hastenthe decision, on account of my desire to be a missionary to the Jews. Atthe same time it stood so, that, if I should be found fit for service, Ishould have to enter the army immediately. 

Thus far the Lord had allowed things to go, to show me, it appears, thatall my friends could not procure me a passport till His time was come. Butnow it was come. The King of kings had intended that I should go toEngland, because He would bless me there, and make me a blessing, though Iwas at that time, and am still most unworthy of it; and, therefore, thoughthe King of Prussia had not been pleased to make an exemption in myfavour, yet now all was made plain, and that at a time when hope hadalmost been given up, and when the last means had been resorted to. I wasexamined, and was declared to be unfit for military service. With amedical certificate to this effect, and a letter of recommendation fromthe major I went to this chief general, who received me very kindly andwho himself wrote instantaneously to a second military physician, likewiseto examine me at once. This was done, and it was by him confirmed that Iwas unfit. Now the chief general himself, as his adjutants happened to beabsent, in order to hasten the matter, wrote with his own hands the paperswhich were needed, and I got a complete dismissal, and that for life, fromall military engagements. This was much more than I could have expected. This military gentleman spoke to me in a very kind way, and pointed outcertain parts of the Scriptures, which he in particular advised me tobring before the Jews, especially Romans xi. 

On considering why the Lord delayed my obtaining this permission, I findthat one of the reasons may have been, that I might both be profitedmyself by my stay in Berlin, and that I also might be instrumental inbenefiting others. As to the first, I would mention, that I learned alesson in Berlin which I did not know before. Whilst I was at Halle, Ithought I should much enjoy being among so many christians as there are inBerlin. But when I was there I found, that enjoyment in the Lord does notdepend upon the multitude of believers, by whom we are surrounded. As tothe second point, perhaps the last day may show, that the Lord had somework for me in Berlin: for, from the time of my coming until I left, Ipreached three, four, or five times every week in the wards of apoorhouse, which was inhabited by about three hundred aged and infirmpeople. I also preached once in a church, and likewise visited one of theprisons several times on Lord's days to converse with the prisoners abouttheir souls, where I was locked in by the keeper with the criminals intheir cells. 

On the whole my time in Berlin was not lost; and I was in a better stateof heart than I had been for any length of time before, I was not onceovercome by my former outward besetting sins, though I have nothing toboast of even as it regards that period; and were only the sins of thosedays brought against me, had I not the blood of Jesus to plead, I shouldbe most miserable. But I think it right to mention, for the glory of God, as I have so freely spoken about my falls, that whilst I was more thanever unobserved by others; and whilst I was living in the midst of moregaiety and temptations than ever; and had far more money than at anyprevious time of my life; I was kept from things of which I had beenhabitually guilty in my unconverted days!--My health was in a very weakstate, almost the whole time whilst I was staying in Berlin, and was in nodegree better, till, on the advice of, a believing medical professor, Igave up all medicine. 

Having now without any further difficulty obtained my passport, I leftBerlin on February 3rd, 1829, for London. The Lord gave me more grace onmy way from Berlin than on my way to it; for my mouth was almostimmediately opened to my fellow-travelers, and the message of the Gospelseemed to be listened to with interest, particularly by one. On February5th I arrived at my father's house; it was the place where I had lived asa boy, and the scene of many of my sins, my father having now returned toit after his retirement from office. I came to it with peculiar feelings. These feelings were not excited merely by the fact of my having been sevenyears absent from it, but arose from the spiritual change I had undergonesince I last saw the place; for I had never been at Heimersleben since myfather fetched me from thence, which was a few days after my imprisonmentat Wolfenbüttel had come to an end. There were but three persons in thewhole town with whom my soul had any fellowship. One of them had spent allhis money in coal mines, and was then earning his daily bread by thrashingcorn. As a boy I had in my heart laughed at him, for he seemed sodifferent from all other people. Now I sought him out, having previouslybeen informed that he was a believer, to acknowledge him as such, byhaving fellowship with him, and attending, a meeting in his house on theLord's day evening. My soul was refreshed, and his also. Such a spiritualfeast, as meeting with a brother, was a rare thing to him. May webelievers who live in Great Britain, and especially those of us who aresurrounded by many children of God, seek for grace, more highly to prizethe blessings which, we enjoy through fellowship with brethren! This dearbrother, who had then been a believer for more than twenty years, had onlya few times heard the gospel preached during all that period. What awonderful thing that I, one of the vilest of those brought up in thatsmall town, should have been so abundantly favoured, as to have beenbrought to the knowledge of the truth, whilst none of all my relations, and scarcely one of those who grew up with me, so far as it has come to myknowledge, know the Lord!

I left my father's house on February 10th, with the prospect of seeinghim again in about a twelvemonth, as a missionary among the Jews. But howhas the Lord graciously altered matters!--I was kindly lodged for anight at Halberstadt by an aged brother, and then proceeded towardsRotterdam, by the way of Munster. At Munster I rested a few days, and wasvery kindly received by several brethren. They were officers in the army, and two of them had been, but a little while before this, Roman Catholics. I lodged in the house of a beloved brother, a tailor, who likewise hadbeen a Roman Catholic. 

About February 22nd I arrived at Rotterdam. I took lodgings in the houseof a believer, where two German brethren lodged, whom I had known atHalle, and who intended to go out as missionaries in connexion with theDutch Missionary Society. It was a peculiar feeling to me, for the firsttime in my life to find myself among Christians of another nation, toattend their family prayer, hear them sing, &c. In spirit I had fellowshipwith them, though our communication was but broken, as I understood butlittle of the Dutch language. Here also I heard for the first time thepreaching of the Gospel in English, of which I knew enough to understand apart of what was said. --My going to England by the way of Rotterdam wasnot the usual way; but consulting with a brother in Berlin, who had beentwice in England, I was told that this was the cheapest route. My askingthis brother, to be profited by his experience, would have been quiteright, had I, besides this, like Ezra, sought of the Lord the right way. Ezra viii. 21. But I sought unto men only, and not at all unto the Lord, in this matter. When I came to Rotterdam, I found that no vessels went atthat time from that port to London, on account of the ice having justbroken up in the river, and that it would be several weeks before thesteamers would again begin to ply. Thus I had to wait nearly a month atRotterdam, and, therefore, not only needed much more time than I shouldhave required to go by way of Hamburgh, but also much more money. 

On March 19th, 1829, I landed in London. I now found myself, in a greatmeasure, as it regards liberty, brought back to the years when I was atschool; yea, almost all the time I had been at school, and certainly forthe last four years, previous to my coming to England, I was not so muchbound to time and order as I was in this seminary; and had not there beena degree of grace in me, yea, so much as not to regard the liberty of theflesh, I should now probably have given up all idea of being a missionaryto the Jews. But as I did not see that anything was expected from me whichI could not conscientiously accede to, I thought it right to submitmyself, for the Lord's sake, to all the regulations of the institution. 

My brethren in the seminary, most of them Germans, had instruction inHebrew, Latin, Greek, French, German, &c. , scarcely any of them having hada classical education; I read only Hebrew, and was exempted from all therest. I remember how I longed to be able to expound the Scriptures inEnglish, when I heard a German brother do so, a few days after my arrival. And I also remember what joy it gave me, when a few weeks after, for thefirst time, I spoke in English to a little boy, whom I met alone in thefields, about his soul, thinking that he would bear with my brokenEnglish. --I now studied much, about twelve hours a day, chiefly Hebrew;commenced Chaldee; perfected myself in reading the German-Jewish inRabbinic characters, committed portions of the Hebrew Old Testament tomemory, &c. ; and this I did with prayer, often falling on my knees, leaving my books for a little, that I might seek the Lord's blessing, andalso, that I might be kept from that spiritual deadness, which is sofrequently the result of much study. I looked up to the Lord even whilstturning over the leaves of my Hebrew dictionary, asking His help, that Imight quickly find the words. I made comparatively little progress inEnglish; for living with some of my countrymen, I was continually led toconverse in German. 

My experience in this particular leads me to remark, that, should thisfall into the hands of any who are desirous to labour as missionariesamong a people whose language is not their own, they should seek notmerely to live among them, for the sake of soon learning their language, but also, as much as possible, to be separated from those who speak theirown language; for, when, some months after, I was in Devonshire, completely separated from those who spoke German, I daily made muchprogress, whilst I made comparatively little in London. 

Soon after my arrival in England, I heard one of the brethren in theseminary speak about a Mr. Groves, a dentist in Exeter, who, for theLord's sake, had given up his profession, which brought him in aboutfifteen hundred pounds a year, and who intended to go as a missionary toPersia, with his wife and children, simply trusting in the Lord fortemporal supplies. This made such an impression on me, and delighted meso, that I not only marked it down in my journal, but also wrote about itto my German friends. 

I came to England weak in body, and in consequence of much study, as Isuppose, I was taken ill on May 15, and was soon, at least in my ownestimation, apparently, beyond recovery. The weaker I became in body, thehappier I was in spirit. Never in my whole life had I seen myself so vile, so guilty, so altogether what I ought not to have been, as at this time. It was as if every sin, of which I had been guilty, was brought to myremembrance; but, at the same time, I could realize that all my sins werecompletely forgiven that I was washed and made clean, completely clean, inthe blood of Jesus. The result of this was, great peace. I longedexceedingly to depart and to be with Christ. When my medical attendantcame to see me, my prayer was something like this: "Lord, Thou knowestthat he does not know what is for my real welfare, therefore do Thoudirect him. " When I took my medicine, my hearty prayer each time wassomething like this: "Lord, Thou knowest that this medicine is in itselfnothing, no more than as if I were to take a little water. Now please, 0Lord, to let it produce the effect which is for my real welfare, and forThy glory. Let me either be taken soon to Thyself or let me be soonrestored; let me be ill for a longer time, and then taken to Thyself, orlet me be ill for a longer time, and then restored. 0 Lord, do with me asseemeth Thee best!" One sin in particular was brought to my mind, which Inever had seen before, viz. , that whilst all my life, even in formersicknesses, I had been blessed with uninterrupted refreshing sleep, whichnow, for some nights, had almost entirely fled from my eyes, I had neverheartily thanked God for it. 

After I had been ill about a fortnight, my medical attendant unexpectedlypronounced me better. This, instead of giving me joy, bowed me down, sogreat was my desire to be with the Lord; though almost immediatelyafterwards grace was given me to submit myself to the will of God. Aftersome days I was able to leave my room. Whilst recovering I still continuedin a spiritual state of heart, desiring to depart and to be with Christ. As I recovered but slowly, my friends entreated me to go into the countryfor change of air; but my heart was in such a happy and spiritual frame, that I did not like the thought of traveling and seeing places. So far wasI changed, who once had been so passionately fond of traveling. But as myfriends continued to advise me to go into the country, I thought at lastthat it might be the will of God that I should do so, and I prayedtherefore thus to the Lord: "Lord, I will gladly submit myself to Thywill, and go if Thou wilt have me to go. And now let me know Thy will bythe answer of my medical attendant. If, in reply to my question, he saysit would be very good for me, I will go; but if he says it is of no greatimportance, then I will stay. " When I asked him, he said that it was thebest thing I could do. I was then enabled willingly to submit, andaccordingly went to Teignmouth. It was there that I became acquainted withmy beloved brother, friend, and fellow-labourer, Henry Craik. 

A few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, the chapel, called Ebenezer, was reopened, and I attended the opening. I was much impressed by one ofthose who preached on the occasion. For though I did not like all he said, yet I saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest. After hehad preached, I had a great desire to know more of him; and being invitedby two brethren of Exmouth, in whose house he was staying, to spend sometime with them, I had an opportunity of living ten days with him under thesame roof. Through the instrumentality of this brother the Lord bestowed agreat blessing upon me, for which I shall have cause to thank Himthroughout eternity. 

I will mention some points which God then began to show me. 

1. That the word of God alone is our standard of judgment in spiritualthings; that it can be explained only by the Holy Spirit; and that in ourday, as well as in former times, He is the teacher of His people. Theoffice of the Holy Spirit I had not experimentally understood before thattime. Indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what iscommonly called the Trinity, I had no experimental apprehension. I had notbefore seen from the Scriptures that the Father chose us before thefoundation of the world; that in Him that wonderful plan of our redemptionoriginated, and that He also appointed all the means by which it was to bebrought about. Further, that the Son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of God; that He hadborne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justiceof God. And further, that the Holy Spirit alone can teach us about ourstate by nature, show us the need of a Saviour, enable us to believe inChrist, explain to us the Scriptures, help us in preaching, &c. It was mybeginning to understand this latter point in particular, which had a greateffect on me; for the Lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simplyreading the word of God and studying it. The result of this was, that thefirst evening that I shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayerand meditation over the Scriptures, I learned more in a few hours than Ihad done during a period of several months previously. But the particulardifference was, that I received real strength for my soul in doing so. Inow began to try by the test of the Scriptures the things which I hadlearned and seen, and found that only those principles, which stood thetest, were really of value. 

2. Before this period I had been much opposed to the doctrines ofelection, particular redemption, and final persevering grace; so much sothat, a few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, I called election adevilish doctrine. I did not believe that I had brought myself to theLord, for that was too manifestly false; but yet I held, that I might haveresisted finally. And further, I knew nothing about the choice of God'speople, and did not believe that the child of God, when once made so, wassafe for ever. In my fleshly mind I had repeatedly said, If once I couldprove that I am a child of God for ever, I might go back into the worldfor a year or two, and then return to the Lord, and at last be saved. Butnow I was brought to examine these precious truths by the word of God. Being made willing to have no glory of my own in the conversion ofsinners, but to consider myself merely as an instrument; and being madewilling to receive what the Scriptures said; I went to the Word, readingthe New Testament from the beginning, with a particular reference to thesetruths. To my great astonishment I found that the passages which speakdecidedly for election and persevering grace, were about four times asmany as those which speak apparently against these truths; and even thosefew, shortly after, when I had examined and understood them, served toconfirm me in the above doctrines. As to the effect which my belief inthese doctrines had on me, I am constrained to state, for God's glory, that though I am still exceedingly weak, and by no means so dead to thelusts of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, as Imight and as I ought to be, yet, by the grace of God, I have walked moreclosely with Him since that period. My life has not been so variable, andI may say that I have lived much more for God than before. And for thishave I been strengthened by the Lord, in a great measure, through theinstrumentality of these truths. For in the time of temptation, I havebeen repeatedly led to say: Should I thus sin? I should only bring miseryinto my soul for a time, and dishonour God; for, being a son of God forever, I should have to be brought back again, though it might be in theway of severe chastisement. Thus, I say, the electing love of God inChrist (when I have been able to realize it) has often been the means ofproducing holiness, instead of leading me into sin. It is only thenotional apprehension of such truths, the want of having them in theheart, whilst they are in the head, which is dangerous. 

3. Another truth, into which, in a measure, I was led during my stay inDevonshire, respected the Lord's coming. My views concerning this point, up to that time, had been completely vague and unscriptural. I hadbelieved what others told me, without trying it by the Word. I thoughtthat things were getting better and better, and that soon the whole worldwould be converted. But now I found in the Word, that we have not theleast Scriptural warrant to look for the conversion of the world beforethe return of our Lord. I found in the Scriptures, that that which willusher in the glory of the church, and uninterrupted joy to the saints, isthe return of the Lord Jesus, and that, till then, things will be more orless in confusion. I found in the Word, that the return of Jesus, and notdeath, was the hope of the apostolic Christians; and that it became me, therefore, to look for His appearing. And this truth entered so into myheart, that, though I went into Devonshire exceedingly weak, scarcelyexpecting that I should return again to London, yet I was immediately, onseeing the truth, brought off from looking for death, and was made to lookfor the return of the Lord. Having seen this truth, the Lord alsograciously enabled me to apply it, in some measure at least, to my ownheart, and to put the solemn question to myself--What may I do for theLord, before He returns, as He may soon come?

4. In addition to these truths, it pleased the Lord to lead me to see ahigher standard of devotedness than I had seen before. He led me, in ameasure, to see what is my true glory in this world, even to be despised, and to be poor and mean with Christ. I saw then, in a measure, though Ihave seen it more fully since, that it ill becomes the servant to seek tobe rich, and great, and honoured in that world, where his Lord was poor, and mean, and despised. 

I do not mean to say that all that which I believe at present concerningthese truths, and those which, in connexion with them, the Lord has shownme since August 1829, were apprehended all at once; and much less did Isee them all at once with the same clearness, as, by the grace of God, Ido now; yet my stay in Devonshire was a most profitable time to my soul. My prayer had been, before I left London, that the Lord would be pleasedto bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. This prayer wasanswered in both respects; for in the beginning of September I returned toLondon much better in body; and, as to my soul, the change was so great, that it was like a second conversion. 

After my return to London, I sought to benefit my brethren in theseminary, and the means which I used were these. I proposed to them tomeet together every morning from six to eight for prayer and reading theScriptures, and that then each of us should give out what he mightconsider the Lord had shown him to be the meaning of the portion read. Onebrother in particular was brought into the same state as myself; andothers, I trust, were more or less benefited. Several times, when I wentto my room after family prayer in the evening, I found communion with Godso sweet, that I continued in prayer till after twelve, and then, beingfull of joy, went into the room of the brother just referred to; and, finding him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying untilone or two and even then I was a few times so full, of joy, that I couldscarcely sleep, and at six in the morning again called the brethrentogether for prayer. 

All this moreover did not leave me idle, as it regards actual engagementsin the Lord's work, as I will now show. After I had been for about tendays in London, and had been confined to the house on account of mystudies, my health began again to decline; and I saw that it would not bewell, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand brought out of thedevil's service, to spend my little remaining strength in study, but thatI now ought to set about actual engagements in the Lord's work, particularly as He had now given me more light about His truth, and also aheart to serve Him. I consequently wrote to the committee of the Society, requesting them to send me out at once, as they had now had an opportunityof knowing me; and, that they might do so with more confidence, to send meas a fellow-labourer to an experienced brother. However I received noanswer. 

After having waited about five or six weeks, in the meantime seeking inone way or other to labour for the Lord, it struck me that I was wrong andacting unscripturally, in waiting for the appointment to missionary workfrom my fellow-men; but that, considering myself called by the Lord topreach the gospel, I ought to begin at once to labour among the Jews inLondon, whether I had the title of missionary or not. In consequence ofthis I distributed tracts among the Jews, with my name and residencewritten on them, thus inviting them to conversation about the things ofGod; preached to them in those places where they most numerously collecttogether; read the Scriptures regularly with about fifty Jewish boys; andbecame a teacher in a Sunday school. In this work I had much enjoyment andthe honour of being reproached and ill-treated for the name of Jesus. Butthe Lord gave me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger, orthe prospect of any suffering. 

My light increased more and more during the months of September, October, and November. At the end of November it became a point of solemnconsideration with me, whether I could remain connected with the Societyin the usual way. My chief objections were these: 1. If I were sent out bythe Society, it was more than probable, yea, almost needful, if I were toleave England, that I should labour on the Continent, as I was unfit to besent to eastern countries on account of my health, which would probablyhave suffered, both on account of the climate, and of my having to learnother languages. Now, if I did go to the Continent, it was evident, thatwithout ordination I could not have any extensive field of usefulness, asunordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring freely there;but I could not conscientiously submit to be ordained by unconverted men, professing to have power to set me apart for the ministry, or tocommunicate something to me for this work which they do not possessthemselves. Besides this, I had other objections to being connected withany state church or national religious establishment, which arose from theincreased light which I had obtained through the reception of this truth, that the word of God is our only standard, and the Holy Spirit our onlyteacher. For as I now began to compare what I knew of the establishment inEngland and those on the Continent, with this only true standard, the wordof God, I found that all establishments, even because they areestablishments, i. E. The world and the church mixed up together, not onlycontain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departurefrom the word of God; but also, as long as they remain establishments, entirely preclude the acting throughout according to the HolyScriptures. --Then again, if I were to stay in England, the Societywould not allow me to preach in any place indiscriminately, where theLord might open a door for me; and to the ordination of English bishopsI had still greater objections, than to the ordination of a PrussianConsistory. 2. I further had a conscientious objection against beingled and directed by men in my missionary labours. As a servant of Christit appeared to me, I ought to be guided by the Spirit, and not by men, as to time and place; and this I would say, with all deference to others, who may be much more taught and much more spiritually minded than myself. A servant of Christ has but one Master. 3. I had love for the Jews, andI had been enabled to give proofs of it; yet I could not conscientiouslysay, as the committee would expect from me, that I would spend the greaterpart of my time only among them. For the scriptural plan seemed to me, that, in coming to a place, I should seek out the Jews, and commence mylabour particularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel, Ishould go to the nominal Christians--The more I weighed these points, themore it appeared to me that I should be acting hypocritically, were I tosuffer them to remain in my mind, without making themknown to the committee. 

The question that next occurred to me was, how I ought to act if not sentout by the Society. With my views I could not return to Prussia; for Imust either refrain from preaching, or imprisonment would be the result. The only plan that presented itself to me was, that I should go from placeto place throughout England, as the Lord might direct me, and give meopportunity, preaching wherever I went, both among Jews and nominalChristians. To this mode of service I was especially stirred up throughthe recently received truth of the Lord's second coming, having itimpressed upon my heart to seek to warn sinners, and to stir up thesaints; as He might soon come. At the same time it appeared to me well, that I should do this in connexion with the Society for promotingChristianity among the Jews, serving them without any salary, providedthey would accept me on these conditions. An objection which came to mymind against taking any step which might lead to the dissolution of myconnexion with the Society, namely, that I had been some expense to it, and that thus I should appear ungrateful, and the money would seem to havebeen thrown away, was easily removed in this way:

1. When I engaged with the Society, I did it according to the light Ithen had. 2. I have but one Master; His is the money, and to Him I have togive an account. 3. Though I have nothing to boast of, but much reason tobe ashamed before God on account of my lack of service; yet, speakingafter the manner of men, in some measure I did work, not only in theLord's service, but even in that particular line for which the money hadbeen put into the hands of the committee. 

There remained now only one point more to be settled:

How I should do for the future as it regarded the supply of my temporalwants, which naturally would have been a great obstacle, especially as Iwas not merely a foreigner, but spoke so little English, that whilst I wasgreatly assisted in expounding the Scriptures, it was with difficulty Icould converse about common things. On this point, however, I had noanxiety; for I considered, that, as long as I really sought to serve theLord, that is, as long as I sought the kingdom of God and Hisrighteousness, these my temporal supplies would be added to me. The Lordmost mercifully enabled me to take the promises of His word, and rest uponthem, and such as Matthew vii. 7, 8, John xiv. 13, 14, Matthew vi. 25-34, were the stay of my soul concerning this point. In addition to this, theexample of brother Groves, the dentist before alluded to, who gave up hisprofession, and went out as a missionary, was a great encouragement to me. For the news, which by this time had arrived, of how the Lord had aidedhim on his way to Petersburg, and at Petersburg, strengthened my faith. 

At last, on December 12, 1829, I came to the conclusion to dissolve myconnexion with the Society, if they would not accept my services under theabove conditions, and to go throughout the country preaching, (beingparticularly constrained to do so from a desire to serve the Lord as muchas in me lay, BEFORE HIS RETURN), and to trust in Him for the supply of mytemporal wants. Yet at the same time it appeared well to me to wait amonth longer, and to consider the matter still further, before I wrote tothe committee, that I might be sure I had weighed it fully. 

On December 24th I went to the Church Missionary Institution atIslington, in the hope of benefiting the students there, if it were theLord's will. I returned very happy, as I almost invariably was at thattime, and went to bed full of joy. Next morning, (being that of Christmasday), I awoke in a very different state of heart from what I hadexperienced for many weeks past. I had no enjoyment, and felt cold andlifeless in prayer. At our usual morning meeting, however, one of thebrethren exhorted me to continue to pray, saying that the Lord surelywould again smile on me, though now for a season, for wise purposes, Heseemed to have withdrawn Himself. I did so. At the Lord's table, in themorning, a measure of enjoyment returned. Afterwards I dined in a family, in company with the brother just referred to. My former enjoymentgradually returned. Towards evening the Lord gave me an opportunity ofspeaking about His return, and I had great enjoyment in doing so. At eighto'clock I was asked to expound at family prayer, and was much assisted bythe Lord. About half an hour after the exposition was over, I wasrequested to come out of the room to see one of the servants, and themother of another of the servants, who had been present at family prayer. I found them in tears, and both deeply impressed and under concern abouttheir souls. I then went home, at least as happy as on the previousevening. I have related this circumstance, because I am aware that it is acommon temptation of Satan to make us give up the reading of the Word andprayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of no use to read theScriptures when we do not enjoy them, and as if it were of no use to praywhen we have no spirit of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoythe Word, we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a spiritof prayer, is, to continue praying; for the less we read the word of God, the less we desire to read it, and the less we pray, the less we desire topray. 

About the beginning of the next year my fellow students had a fortnight'svacation, and as with them I had conformed myself to the order of theInstitution, I felt that I might also partake of their privileges; notindeed to please the flesh, but to serve the Lord. On December 30th, Itherefore left London for Exmouth, where I intended to spend my vacationin the house of my Christian friends, who had kindly lodged me the summerbefore, that I might preach there during this fortnight, and still morefully weigh the matter respecting my proposal to time Society. I arrivedat Exmouth on December 31st, at six in the evening, an hour before thecommencement of a prayer-meeting at Ebenezer Chapel. My heart was burningwith a desire to tell of the Lord's goodness to my soul, and to speakforth what I considered might not be known to most with whom I met. Being, however, not called on, either to speak or pray, I was silent. The nextmorning I spoke on the difference between being a Christian and a happyChristian, and showed, whence it generally comes, that we rejoice solittle in the Lord. This my first testimony was blessed to many believers, that God, as it appears, might show me that He was with me. Among othersit proved a blessing to a Christian female, who had been for ten years inbondage, and who, in the providence of God, had been brought from Exeterto be present that morning. This she told me many months after, when I mether on a journey. 

At the request of several believers I spoke again in the afternoon, andalso proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound theepistle to the Romans. I had also most days a meeting in a room withseveral ladies, for reading the Scriptures with them. This I did that Imight make the best of my fortnight. The second day after my arrival, abrother said to me: "I have been praying for this month past that the Lordwould do something for Lympstone, a large parish where there is littlespiritual light. There is a Wesleyan chapel, and I doubt not you would beallowed to preach there. " Being ready to speak of Jesus wherever the Lordmight open a door, yet so, that I could be faithful to the truths which hehad been pleased to teach me, I went, and easily obtained liberty topreach twice on the next day, being the Lord's day. Besides this Ipreached in another village near Exmouth; so that I spoke once, twice, orthree times in public or private meetings every day for the first ten ortwelve days, and that with great enjoyment to my own soul. 

During the first days of January, 1830, whilst at Exmouth, it became moreand more clear to me, that I could not be connected with the Society underthe usual conditions; and as I had an abundance of work where I was, andlittle money to spend in traveling (for all I possessed was about fivepounds), it appeared best to me to write at once to the committee, that, whilst they were coming to a decision respecting me, I might continue topreach. I therefore wrote to them, stating what had been my views before Ibecame acquainted with them, and what they were now. I also stated mydifficulty in remaining, connected with them on the usual terms, as statedin substance above; and then concluded, that as, however, I owed themmuch, as having been instrumental in bringing me to England, where theLord had blessed me so abundantly: and as I, also, should like to obtainfrom them the Hebrew Scriptures and tracts for the Jews: I would gladlyserve them without any salary, if they would allow me to labour in regardto time and place as the Lord might direct me. Some time after I receiveda very kind private letter from one of the secretaries, who always hadbeen very kind to me, together with the following official communicationfrom the committee. 

"London Society for promoting Christianity amongst the Jews. "

At a Meeting of the Missionary Sub-Committee, held January 27, 1830, Society House, 10, Wardrobe Place, Doctors' Commons, a Letter was readfrom Mr. G. F. Müller. 

"Resolved, That Mr. Müller be informed, that while the committeecordially rejoice in any real progress in knowledge and grace which he mayhave made under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, they, nevertheless, consider it inexpedient for any society to employ those who are unwillingto submit themselves to their guidance with respect to missionaryoperations; and that while, therefore, Mr. Müller holds his presentopinions on that point, the committee cannot consider him as a missionarystudent; but should more mature reflection cause him to alter thatopinion, they will readily enter into further communication with him. "

Thus my connexion with the Society was entirely dissolved. Fifty-twoyears have passed away since, and I never have, even for one singlemoment, regretted the step I took, but have to be sorry that I have beenso little grateful for the Lord's goodness to me in that matter. Thefollowing part of the Narrative also will prove to the enlightened reader, how God blessed my acting out the light He had been pleased to give me. But I cannot leave this subject, without adding, that it is far from myintention to throw any blame upon the Society. I have no wish to do so:nay, I confess, were the last-mentioned circumstances not so intimatelyconnected with my being in England, I would rather have left out thematter altogether. But being under the necessity of saying something aboutmy connexion with it, it appeared best to me to relate the circumstancesjust as they were. Yet I do testify that I have not done it in the leastfor the sake of injuring the Society; for I have received much kindnessfrom some of those connected with it, particularly from two worthy men, then taking a prominent part in managing its affairs. If I be judgeddifferently, I can only say, "Judge nothing before the time, until theLord come. "

After I had preached about three weeks at Exmouth and its neighbourhood, I went to Teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, topreach the Word among the brethren with whom I had become acquaintedduring the previous summer, and thus to tell them of the Lord's goodnessto me. One of the brethren said almost immediately on my arrival atTeignmouth, I wish you would become our minister, as the present one isgoing to leave us. My answer was, I do not intend to be stationary in anyplace, but to go through the country, preaching the Word as the Lord maydirect me. In the evening, Monday, I preached for brother Craik, atShaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked thesermon; yet it pleased God, through it, to bring to the knowledge of Hisdear Son, a young woman who had been servant to one of these ministers, and who had heard her master preach many times. How differently does theLord judge from man! Here was a particular opportunity for the Lord to getglory to Himself. A foreigner was the preacher, with great naturalobstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak English with fluency;but he had a desire to serve God, and was by this time also brought intosuch a state of heart as to desire that God alone should have the glory, if any good were done through his instrumentality. How often has it struckme, both at that time and since, that His strength was made perfect in myweakness. 

On Tuesday evening I preached at Ebenezer Chapel, Teignmouth, the samechapel at the opening of which I became acquainted with the brother, whomthe Lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much. Mypreaching was also disliked there by many of the hearers; but the Lordopened the hearts of a few to receive the truth, and another young womanwas brought to the Lord through the instrumentality of the word thenpreached. On Wednesday I preached again in the same chapel, and the wordwas disliked still, perhaps more, though the few, who received the truthin the love of it, increased in number. On Thursday I preached again atShaldon, and on Friday at Teignmouth. The effect was the same; dislike onthe one side, and joy and delight in the truth on the other. By this timeI began to reflect about the cause of this opposition; for the samebrethren who had treated me with much kindness the summer previous, when Iwas less spiritually minded, and understood much less of the truth, nowseemed to oppose me, and I could not explain it in any other way thanthis, that the Lord intended to work through my instrumentality atTeignmouth, and that therefore Satan, fearing this, sought to raiseopposition against me. 

On the Lord's day I dined with a brother, whose heart the Lordhad opened to receive me as a servant of Christ. After dinner Italked to a young woman, his servant, at the request of her sister, who onthe Tuesday previous had been convinced of sin, and on the Friday broughtto enjoy peace in the Lord. This young woman also was, through theinstrumentality of this conversation, brought to see her sinful state, though she could not rejoice in the Lord until about seven months after. How differently the Lord dealt with her sister, and yet the work of gracewas as real in the one as in the other, as I had full opportunity ofseeing afterwards! On this same Lord's day I preached twice at Teignmouth, and once at Shaldon; for so precious did every opportunity seem to me, andso powerfully did I feel the importance of those precious truths, which Ihad so recently been led to see, that I longed to be instrumental incommunicating them to others. 

By this time the request, that I might stay at Teignmouth, and be theminister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by anincreasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against myremaining there. This opposition was instrumental in settling it in mymind that I should stay for awhile, at least until I was formallyrejected. In consequence of this conclusion I took the following step, which, it may be, I should not repeat under similar circumstances, butwhich was certainly taken in love to those who were concerned in thematter, and for the glory of God, as far as I then had light. 

On the Tuesday following, after preaching, I told the brethren how, inthe providence of God, I had been brought to them without the leastintention of staying among them, but that, on finding them without aminister, I had been led to see it to be the will of God to remain withthem. I also told them, as far as I remember, that I was aware of theopposition of some, but that I nevertheless intended to preach to themtill they rejected me; and if they should say, I might preach, but theywould give me no salary, that would make no difference on my part, as Idid not preach for the sake of money; but I told them, at the same time, that it was an honour, to be allowed to supply the temporal wants of anyof the servants of Christ. The latter point I added, as it seemed right tome, to give out the whole counsel of God, as far as I knew it. On the nextday, Wednesday, I left, and having preached in two or three places nearExmouth, and taken leave of my friends there, I returned to Teignmouth. 

Here I preached again three times on the Lord's day, none saying we wishyou not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment. Some of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned afterawhile. Others came to the chapel, who had not been in the habit ofattending there previous to my coming. There was sufficient proof that thework of God was going on, for there were those who were glad to hear whatI preached, overlooking the infirmities of the foreigner, delighting inthe food for their souls, without caring much about the form in which thetruth was set before them; and these were not less spiritual than therest: and there were those who objected decidedly; some, however, manifesting merely the weakness of brethren, and others the bitterness ofthe opposers of the cross. There was, in addition to this, a great stir, aspirit of inquiry, and a searching of the Scriptures, whether these thingswere so. And what is more than all, God set His seal upon the work, inconverting sinners. Twelve weeks I stood in this same position, whilst theLord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unaskedfor. After this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number, unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. My answer tothem was, that their invitation did not show me more than I had seenbefore, that it was the will of God that I should remain with them, yetthat for their sakes I could not but rejoice in this invitation, as it wasa proof to me that God had blessed them through my instrumentality, inmaking them thus of one mind. I also expressly stated to the brethren, that I should only stay so long with them, as I saw it clearly to be thewill of the Lord; for I had not given up my intention of going from placeto place, if the Lord would allow me to do so. The brethren, at the sametime, now offered to supply my temporal wants, by giving me £55. A year, which sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase ofthe church. 

I now had Teignmouth for my residence, but I did not confine my laboursto this place; for I preached regularly once a week in Exeter, once afortnight at Topsham, sometimes at Shaldon, often at Exmouth, sometimes inthe above-mentioned villages near Exmouth, regularly once a week atBishopsteignton, where a part of the church lived, and afterwardsrepeatedly at Chudleigh, Collumpton, Newton Bushel, and elsewhere. 

That which I now considered the best mode of preparation for the publicministry of the Word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of wantof time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of God'sblessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of thesaints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows:--1. I do not presumeto know myself what is best for the hearers, and I therefore ask the Lordin the first place, that He would graciously be pleased to teach me onwhat subject I shall speak, or what portion of His word I shall expound. Now sometimes it happens, that previous to my asking Him, a subject orpassage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me tospeak. In that case I ask the Lord, whether I should speak on this subjector passage. If, after prayer, I feel persuaded that I should I fix uponit, yet so, that I would desire to leave myself open to the Lord to changeit, if He please. Frequently, however, it occurs, that I have no text orsubject in my mind, before I give myself to prayer for the sake ofascertaining the Lord's will concerning it. In this case I wait some timeon my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit todirect me. If then a passage or subject, whilst I am on my knees, or afterI have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, I again ask theLord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, thesubject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be His will that Ishould speak on such a subject or passage. If after prayer my mind ispeaceful about it, I take this to be the text, but still desire to leavemyself open to the Lord for direction, should He please to alter it, orshould I have been mistaken. Frequently also, in the third place, ithappens, that I not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous tomy praying for guidance in this matter, but also I do not obtain one afteronce, or twice, or more times praying about it. I used formerly at timesto be much perplexed, when this was the case, but for more than forty-fiveyears it has pleased the Lord, in general at least, to keep me in peaceabout it. What I do is, to go on with my regular reading of theScriptures, where I left off the last time, praying (whilst I read) for atext, now and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till I get one. Thus it has happened, that I have had to read five, ten; yea twentychapters, before it has pleased the Lord to give me a text: yea, manytimes I have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, andobtained it perhaps only a few minutes before I was going to speak; but Ihave never lacked the Lord's assistance at the time of preaching, providedI had earnestly sought it in private. The preacher cannot know theparticular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation, nor what they require, but the Lord knows it; and if the preacherrenounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the Lord; but if he willchoose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should seelittle benefit result from his labours. 

Before I leave this part of the subject, I would just observe onetemptation concerning the choice of a text. We may see a subject to be sovery full, that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. Forinstance, sometimes a text, brought to one's mind for a week-eveningmeeting, may appear more suitable for the Lord's day, because then therewould be a greater number of hearers present. Now, in the first place, wedo not know whether the Lord ever will allow us to preach on anotherLord's day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that verysubject may not be especially suitable for some or many individualspresent just that week-evening. Thus I was once tempted, after I had beena short time at Teignmouth, to reserve a subject, which had been justopened to me, for the next Lord's day. But being able, by the grace ofGod, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching aboutit at once, it pleased the Lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner, and that too an individual who meant to come but that once more to thechapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited. 

2. Now when the text has been obtained in the above way, whether it beone or two or more verses, or a whole chapter or more, I ask the Lord thatHe would graciously be pleased to teach me by His Holy Spirit, whilstmeditating over it. Within the last fifty years, I have found it the mostprofitable plan to meditate with my pen in my hand, writing down theoutlines, as the Word is opened to me. This I do, not for the sake ofcommitting them to memory, nor as if I meant to say nothing else, but forthe sake of clearness, as being a help to see how far I understand thepassage. I also find it useful afterwards to refer to what I have thuswritten. I very seldom use any other help besides the little I understandof the original of the Scriptures, and some good translations in otherlanguages. My chief help is prayer. I have NEVER in my life begun to studyone single part of divine truth, without gaining some light about it, whenI have been able really to give myself to prayer and meditation over it. But that I have often found a difficult matter, partly on account of theweakness of the flesh, and partly also on account of bodily infirmitiesand multiplicity of engagements. This I most firmly believe, that no oneought to expect to see much good resulting from his labours in word anddoctrine, if he is not much given to prayer and meditation. 

3. Having prayed and meditated on the subject or text, I desire to leavemyself entirely in the hands of the Lord. I ask Him to bring to my mindwhat I have seen in my room, concerning the subject I am going to speakon, which He generally most kindly does, and often teaches me muchadditionally, whilst I am preaching. 

In connection with the above, I must, however, state, that it appears tome there is a preparation for the public ministry of the Word, which iseven more excellent than the one spoken of. It is this: to live in suchconstant and real communion with the Lord, and to be so habitually andfrequently in meditation over the truth, that without the above effort, soto speak, we have obtained food for others, and know the mind of the Lordas to the subject or the portion of the Word on which we should speak. Butthis I have only in a small measure experienced, though I desire to bebrought into such a state, that habitually "out of my belly may flowrivers of living water. "

That which I have found most beneficial in my experience for the lastfifty-one years in the public ministry of the Word, is, expounding theScriptures, and especially the going now and then through a whole gospelor epistle. This may be done in a two-fold way, either by enteringminutely into the bearing of every point occurring in the portion, or bygiving the general outlines, and thus leading the hearers to see themeaning and connexion of the whole. The benefits which I have seenresulting from expounding the Scriptures are these: 1. The hearers arethus, with God's blessing, led to the Scriptures. They find, as it were, apractical use of them in the public meetings. This induces them to bringtheir bibles, and I have observed that those who at first did not bringthem, have afterwards been induced to do so: so that in a short time few, of the believers at least, were in the habit of coming without them. Thisis no small matter; for every thing, which in our day will lead believersto value the Scriptures, is of importance. 2. The expounding of theScriptures is in general more beneficial to the hearers than if, on asingle verse, or half a verse, or two or three words of a verse someremarks are made, so that the portion of Scripture is scarcely anythingbut a motto for the subject; for few have grace to meditate much over theWord, and thus exposition may not merely be the means of opening up tothem the Scriptures, but may also create in them a desire to meditate forthemselves. 3. The expounding of the Scriptures leaves to the hearers aconnecting link, so that the reading over again the portion of the Word, which has been expounded, brings to their remembrance what has been said;and thus, with God's blessing, leaves a more lasting impression on theirminds. This is particularly of importance as it regards the illiterate, who sometimes have neither much strength of memory nor capacity ofcomprehension. 4. The expounding of large portions of the Word, as thewhole of a gospel or an epistle, besides leading the hearer to see theconnexion of the whole, has also this particular benefit for the teacher, that it leads him, with God's blessing, to the consideration of portionsof the Word, which otherwise he might not have considered, and keeps himfrom speaking too much on favourite subjects, and leaning too much toparticular parts of truth, which tendency must surely sooner or laterinjure both himself and his hearers. --Expounding the word of God bringslittle honour to the preacher from the unenlightened or careless hearer, but it tends much to the benefit of the hearers in general. 

Simplicity in expression, whilst the truth is set forth, is, in connexionwith what has been said, of the utmost importance. It should be the aim ofthe teacher to speak so, that children, servants, and people who cannotread, may be able to understand him, so far as the natural mind cancomprehend the things of God. It ought also to be remembered, that thereis, perhaps, not a single congregation in which there are not persons ofthe above classes present, and that if they can understand, thewell-educated or literary persons will understand likewise; but thereverse does not hold good. It ought further to be remembered that theexpounder of the truth of God speaks for God, for eternity, and that itis not in the least likely that he will benefit the hearers, except heuses plainness of speech, which nevertheless needs not to be vulgar orrude. It should also be considered, that if the preacher strive to speakaccording to the rules of this world, he may please many, Particularlythose who have a literary taste; but, in the same proportion, he isless likely to become an instrument in the hands of God for the conversionof sinners, or for the building up of the saints. For neither eloquencenor depth of thought make the truly great preacher, but such a life ofprayer and meditation and spirituality, as may render him a vessel meetfor the Master's use, and fit to be employed both in the conversion ofsinners and in the edification of the saints. 

About the beginning of April I went to preach at Sidmouth. While I wasstaying there, three sisters in the Lord had, in my presence, aconversation about baptism, one of whom had been baptized after she hadbelieved. When they had conversed a little on the subject, I was asked togive my opinion concerning it. My reply was, "I do not think, that I needto be baptized again. " I was then asked by the sister who bad beenbaptized, "But have you been baptized?" I answered, "Yes, when I was achild. " She then replied, "Have you ever read the Scriptures, and prayedwith reference to this subject?" I answered, "No. " "Then, " she said, "Ientreat you, never to speak any more about it till you have done so. " Itpleased the Lord to show me the importance of this remark; for whilst atthat very time I was exhorting every one to receive nothing which couldnot be proved by the word of God, I had repeatedly spoken againstbelievers' baptism, without having ever earnestly examined the Scriptures, or prayed concerning it; and now I determined, if God would help me, toexamine that subject also, and if infant baptism were found to bescriptural, I would earnestly defend it; and if believers' baptism wereright, I would as strenuously defend that, and be baptized. 

As soon as I had time, I set about examining the subject. The mode Iadopted was as follows: I repeatedly asked God to teach me concerning it, and I read the New Testament from the beginning, with a particularreference to this point. But now, when I earnestly set about the matter, anumber of objections presented themselves to my mind. 

1. Since many holy and enlightened men have been divided in opinionconcerning this point, does this not prove, that it is not to be expectedwe should come to a satisfactory conclusion about this question in thepresent imperfect state of the church?--This question was thus removed: Ifthis ordinance is revealed in the Bible, why may I not know it, as theHoly Spirit is the teacher in the church of Christ now as well asformerly? 2. There have been but few of my friends baptized, and thegreater part of them are opposed to believers' baptism, and they will turntheir backs on me. Answer: Though all men should forsake me, if the LordJesus takes me up, I shall be happy. 3. You will be sure to lose one halfof your income if you are baptized. Answer: As long as I desire to befaithful to the Lord, He will not suffer me to want. 4. People will callyou a baptist, and you will be reckoned among that body, and you cannotapprove of all that is going on among them. Answer: It does not followthat I must in all points go along with all those who hold believers'baptism, although I should be baptized. 5. You have been preaching forsome years, and you will have thus publicly to confess, that you have beenin an error, should you be led to see that believers' baptism is right. Answer: It is much better to confess that I have been in error concerningthat point than to continue in it. 6. Even if believers' baptism should beright, yet it is now too late to attend to it, as you ought to have beenbaptized immediately on believing. Answer: It is better to fulfill acommandment of the Lord Jesus ever so late, than to continue in theneglect of it. 

It had pleased God, in his abundant mercy, to bring my mind into such astate, that I was willing to carry out into my life whatever I should findin the Scriptures concerning this ordinance, either the one way or theother. I could say, "I will do His will, " and it was on that account, Ibelieve, that I soon saw which "doctrine is of God, " whether infantbaptism or believers' baptism. And I would observe here, by the way, thatthe passage to which I have just now alluded, John vii. 17, has been amost remarkable comment to me on many doctrines and precepts of our mostholy faith. For instance: "Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite theeon thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will suethee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. Andwhosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to himthat asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thouaway. Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them thathate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecuteyou. " Matthew v. 39-44. "Sell that ye have, and give alms. " Luke xii. 33. "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another. " Rom. Xiii. 8. It may besaid, surely these passages cannot be taken literally, for how then wouldthe people of God be able to pass through the world. The state of mindenjoined in John vii. 17, will cause such objections to vanish. Whosoeveris WILLING To ACT OUT these commandments of the Lord LITERALLY, will, Ibelieve, be led with me to see that, to take them LITERALLY, is the willof God. --Those who do so take them will doubtless often be brought intodifficulties, hard to the flesh to bear, but these will have a tendency tomake them constantly feel that they are strangers and pilgrims here, thatthis world is not their home, and thus to throw them more upon God, whowill assuredly help us through any difficulty into which we may be broughtby seeking to act in obedience to His word. 

As soon as I was brought into this state of heart, I saw from theScriptures that believers ONLY are the proper subjects for baptism, andthat immersion is the only true Scriptural mode, in which it ought to beattended to. The passage which particularly convinced me of the former, isActs viii. 36-38, and of the latter, Rom. Vi. 3-5. Some time after, I wasbaptized. I had much peace in doing so, and never have I for one singlemoment regretted it. --Before I leave this point, I would just say a fewwords concerning the result of this matter, so far as it regards some ofthe objections which occurred to my mind when I was about to examine theScriptures concerning baptism. 

1. Concerning the first objection, my conviction now is, that of allrevealed truths not on is more clearly revealed in the Scriptures, noteven the doctrine of justification by faith, and that the subject has onlybecome obscured by men not having been willing to take the Scripturesalone to decide the point. 

2. Not one of my true friends in the Lord has turned his back on me, as Isupposed, and almost all of them have been themselves baptized since. 

3. Though in one way I lost money in consequence of being baptized, yetthe Lord did not suffer me to be really a loser, even as it regardstemporal things; for He made up the loss most bountifully. In conclusion, my example has been the means of leading many to examine the question ofbaptism, and to submit, from conviction, to this ordinance and seeing thistruth I have been led to speak on it as well as on other truths; andduring the forty-five years that I have now resided in Bristol, more thanthree thousand believers have been baptized among us. 

In June of this year (1830) I went to preach at the opening of a chapelin a village near Barnstaple, built by that blessed man of God, ThomasPugsley, now with the Lord. It pleased God to bring two souls to Himselfthrough this my visit, and one more was converted on another visit. Sograciously did the Lord condescend to use me, that almost everywhere Heblessed the Word which I preached, thereby testifying that He had sent me, and thereby also getting glory to Himself in using such an instrument. Itwas so usual for me to preach with particular assistance, especiallyduring the first months of this year, that once, when it was otherwise, itwas much noticed by myself and others. The circumstance was this. One day, before preaching at Teignmouth, I had more time than usual, and thereforeprayed and meditated about six hours, in preparation for the eveningmeeting, and I thought I saw many precious truths in the passage on whichI had meditated. It was the first part of the first chapter of the epistleto the Ephesians. After I had spoken a little time, I felt that I spoke inmy own strength, and I, being a foreigner, felt particularly the want ofwords, which had not been the case before. I told the brethren, that Ifelt I was left to myself, and asked their prayers. But after havingcontinued a little longer, and feeling the same as before, I closed, andproposed that we should have a meeting for prayer, that the Lord stillmight be pleased to help me. We did so, and I was particularly assistedthe next time. 

During this summer also it appeared to me scriptural, according to theexample of the Apostles, Acts xx. 7, to break bread every Lord's day, though there is no commandment given to do so, either by the Lord, or bythe Holy Ghost through the Apostles. And at the same time it appeared tome scriptural, according to Eph. Iv. , Rom. Xii. , &c. , that there should begiven room for the Holy Ghost to work through any of the brethren whom Hepleased to use; that thus one member might benefit the other with the giftwhich the Lord has bestowed upon him. Accordingly at certain meetings anyof the brethren had an opportunity to exhort or teach the rest, if theyconsidered that they had any thing to say which might be beneficial to thehearers. --I observe here, that, as the Lord gave me grace to endeavour atonce to carry out the light which He had been pleased to give me on thispoint, and as the truth was but in part apprehended, there was muchinfirmity mixed with the manner of carrying it out. Nor was it untilseveral years after that the Lord was pleased to teach me about this pointmore perfectly. That the disciples of Jesus should meet together, on thefirst day of the week, for the breaking of bread, and that that should betheir principal meeting, and that those, whether one or several, who aretruly gifted by the Holy Spirit for service, be it for exhortation, orteaching, or rule, &c. , are responsible to the Lord for the exercise oftheir gifts: these are to me no matters of uncertainty, but points onwhich my soul, by grace, is established, through the revealed will of God. 

On October 7th, 1830, I was united by marriage to Miss Mary Groves, sister of the brother whose name has already been mentioned. This step wastaken after prayer and deliberation, from a full conviction that it wasbetter for me to be married: and I have never regretted since, either thestep itself or the choice, but desire to be truly grateful to God forhaving given me such a wife. 

About this time I began to have conscientious objections against anylonger receiving a stated salary. My reasons against it were these:--

1. The salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents are, according toJames ii. 1-6, against the mind of the Lord, as, in general, the poorbrother cannot have so good a seat as the rich. (All pew-rents weretherefore given up, and all the seats made free, which was stated at theentrance of the chapel). 2. A brother may gladly do something towards mysupport if left to his own time; but when the quarter is up, he hasperhaps other expenses, and I do not know, whether he pays his moneygrudgingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but God loveth a cheerfulgiver. Nay, I knew it to be a fact, that sometimes it had not beenconvenient to individuals to pay the money, when it had been asked for bythe brethren who collected it. 3. Though the Lord had been pleased to giveme grace to be faithful, so that I had been enabled not to keep back thetruth, when He had shown it to me; still I felt that the pew-rents were asnare to the servant of Christ. It was a temptation to me, at least for afew minutes, at the time when the Lord had stirred me up to pray andsearch the Word respecting the ordinance of baptism, because £30. Of mysalary was at stake, if I should be baptized. 

For these reasons I stated to the brethren, at the end of October, 1830, that I should for the future give up having any regular salary. After Ihad given my reasons for doing so, I read Philippians iv. , and told thesaints, that if they still had a desire to do something towards mysupport, by voluntary gifts, I had no objection to receive them, thoughever so small, either in money or provisions. A few days after it appearedto me, that there was a better way still; for if I received personallyevery single gift, offered in money, both my own time and that of thedonors would be much taken up; and in this way also the poor might, through temptation, be kept from offering their pence, a privilege ofwhich they ought not to be deprived; and some also might in this way givemore than if it were not known who was the giver; so that it would stillbe doubtful whether the gifts were given grudgingly or cheerfully. Forthese reasons especially, there was a box put up in the chapel, over whichwas written, that whoever had a desire to do something towards my support, might put his offering into the box. 

At the same time it appeared to me right, that henceforth I should ask noman, not even my beloved brethren and sisters, to help me, as I had done afew times according to their own request, as my expenses, on account oftraveling much in the Lord's service, were too great to be met by my usualincome. For unconsciously I had thus again been led, in some measure, totrust in an arm of flesh; going to man, instead of going to the Lord atonce. To come to this conclusion before God, required more grace than togive up my salary. 

About the same time also my wife and I had grace given to us to take theLord's commandment, "Sell that ye have, and give alms, " Luke xii. 33, literally, and to carry it out. Our staff and support in this matter wereMatthew vi. 19-34, John xiv. 13, 14. We leaned on the arm of the LordJesus. It is now fifty-one years, since we set out in this way, and we donot in the least regret the step we then took. Our God also has, in Histender mercy, given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning theabove points, both as it regards principle and practice; and this has beenthe means of letting us see the tender love and care of our God over Hischildren, even in the most minute things, in a way in which we neverexperimentally knew them before; and it has, in particular, made the Lordknown to us more fully than we knew Him before, as a prayer hearing God. As I have written down how the Lord has been pleased to deal with ussince, I shall be able to relate some facts concerning this matter, as faras they may tend to edification. 

Extracts from my Journal. 

Nov. 18th, 1830. --Our money was reduced to about eight shillings. When Iwas praying with my wife in the morning, the Lord brought to my mind thestate of our purse, and I was led to ask Him for some money. About fourhours after, we were with a sister at Bishopsteignton, and she said tome, "Do you want any money?" "I told the brethren, " said I, "dear sister, when I gave up my salary, that I would for the future tell the Lord onlyabout my wants. " She replied, "But He has told me to give you some money. About a fortnight ago I asked Him, what I should do for Him, and He toldme to give you some money; and last Saturday it came again powerfully tomy mind, and has not left me since, and I felt it so forcibly last night, that I could not help speaking of it to Brother P. " My heart rejoiced, seeing the Lord's faithfulness, but I thought it better not to tell herabout our circumstances, lest she should be influenced to giveaccordingly; and I also was assured, that, if it were of the Lord, shecould not but give. I therefore turned the conversation to other subjects, but when I left she gave me two guineas. We were full of joy on account ofthe goodness of the Lord. --I would call upon the reader to admire thegentleness of the Lord, that He did not try our faith much at thecommencement, but gave us first encouragement, and allowed us to see Hiswillingness to help us, before He was pleased to try it more fully. 

The next Wednesday I went to Exmouth, our money having then again beenreduced to about nine shillings. I asked the Lord on Thursday, when atExmouth, to be pleased to give me some money. On Friday morning, abouteight o'clock, whilst in prayer, I was particularly led to ask again formoney; and before I rose from my knees I had the fullest assurance, thatwe should have the answer that very day. About nine o'clock I left thebrother with whom I was staying, and he gave me half a sovereign, saying, "Take this for the expenses connected with your coming to us. " I did notexpect to have my expenses paid, but I saw the Lord's fatherly hand insending me this money within one hour after my asking Him for some. Buteven then I was so fully assured that the Lord would send more that veryday, or had done so already, that, when I came home about twelve o'clock, I asked my wife whether she had received any letters. She told me she hadreceived one the day before from a brother in Exeter, with threesovereigns. Thus even my prayer on the preceding day had been answered. The next day one of the brethren came and brought me £4. , which was due tome of my former salary, but which I could never have expected, as I didnot even know that this sum was due to me. Thus I received, within thirtyhours, in answer to prayer, £7. 10s. 

In the commencement of December I went to Collumpton, where I preachedseveral times, and likewise in a neighbouring village. In driving homefrom the village late at night, our driver lost his way. As soon as wefound out our mistake, being then near a house, it struck me that the handof God was in this matter; and having awakened the people of the house, Ioffered a man something if he would be kind enough to bring us into theright road. I now walked with the man before the gig, and conversed withhim about the things of God, and soon found out that he was an awfulbackslider. May God, in mercy, bless the word spoken to him, and may welearn from this circumstance, that we have to ask on such occasions, whythe Lord has allowed such and such things to happen to us. --Since thepublication of the first edition, one day, about eight years after thiscircumstance had happened, the individual who drove me that nightintroduced himself to me as a believer, and told me that on that eveninghe received his first impressions under the preaching of the Word. Themissing of the right road may have been connected with his state of mind. May I and my fellow-labourers in the Gospel be encouraged by this, patiently to continue to sow the seed, though only after eight years ormore we should see the fruit of it. I only add, that up to that time, theindividual had been a very dissipated young man, who caused his believingparents very much grief. Their love led them to convey me and my wife tothis village and back again, and truly the Lord gave them a reward indoing so. 

Between Christmas and the new year, when our money was reduced to a fewshillings, I asked the Lord for more; when a few hours after there wasgiven to us a sovereign by a brother from Axminster. This brother hadheard much against me, and was at last determined to hear for himself, andthus came to Teignmouth, a distance of forty miles; and having heard aboutour manner of living, gave us this money. 

With this closes the year 1830. Throughout it the Lord richly suppliedall my temporal wants, though at the commencement of it I had no certainhuman prospect for one single shilling; so that, even as it regardstemporal things, I had not been in the smallest degree a loser in actingaccording to the dictates of my conscience; and, as it regards spiritualthings, the Lord had indeed dealt bountifully with me, and led me on inmany respects, and, moreover, had condescended to use me as an instrumentin doing His work. 

On January 6th, 7th, and 8th, 1831, I had repeatedly asked the Lord formoney, but received none. On the evening of January 8th I left my room fora few minutes, and was then tempted to distrust the Lord, though He hadbeen so gracious to us, in that He not only up to that day had suppliedall our wants, but had given us also those answers of prayer, which havebeen in part just mentioned. I was so sinful, for about five minutes, asto think it would be of no use to trust in the Lord in this way. I alsobegan to say to myself, that I had perhaps gone too far in living in thisway. But, thanks to the Lord! this trial lasted but a few minutes. Heenabled me again to trust in Him, and Satan was immediately confounded;for when I returned to my room (out of which I had not been absent tenminutes), the Lord had sent deliverance. A sister in the Lord, who residedat Exeter, had come to Teignmouth, and brought us £2. 4s. ; so the Lordtriumphed, and our faith was strengthened. 

Jan. 10. Today, when we had again but a few shillings, £5. Was given tous, which had been taken out of the box. I had, once for all, told thebrethren, who had the care of these temporal things, to have the kindnessto let me have the money every week; but as these beloved brethren eitherforgot to take it out weekly, or were ashamed to bring it in such smallsums, it was generally taken out every three, four, or five weeks. As Ihad stated to them, however, from the commencement, that I desired to lookneither to man nor the box, but to the living God, I thought it not righton my part, to remind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest itshould hinder the testimony which I wished to give, of trusting in theliving God alone. It was on this account that on January 28th, when we hadagain but little money, though I had seen the brethren on January the 24thopen the box and take out the money, I would not ask the brother, in whosehands it was, to let me have it; but, standing in need of it, as our coalswere almost gone, I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring it, andbut a little time afterwards it was given to us, even £1. 8s. 6d. 

I would here mention, that since the time I began living in this way, Ihave been kept from speaking, either directly or indirectly, about mywants, at the time I was in need. But whilst I have refrained, and dostill habitually refrain, from speaking to my fellow creatures about mywants at the time, I desire to speak well of the Lord's goodness, after Hehas delivered me; not only in order that He thus may get glory, but alsothat the children of God may be encouraged to trust in Him. 

On February 14th we had again very little money, and, whilst praying, Iwas led to ask the Lord, graciously to supply our wants; and the instantthat I rose from my knees, a brother gave me £1. , which had been takenout of the box. 

On March 7th I was again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of theLord, and though I was not miserable, still I was not so fully restingupon the Lord, that I could triumph with joy. It was but one hour after, when the Lord gave me another proof of His faithful love. A Christian ladyat Teignmouth had been from home for some time, and on her return shebrought from the sisters in the Lord, with whom she had been staying, fivesovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper;--"I was anhungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink. Lord, when saw we Thee an hungered, and fed Thee? or thirsty, and gave Theedrink? The King shall answer and say unto them, "Verily, verily, I sayunto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these mybrethren, ye have done it unto me. "

On March 16th I went to Axminster, and preached in several places in thatneighbourhood, besides holding a meeting at Axminster. Whilst stayingthere I was requested to preach at Chard; but as I had never been awayfrom Teignmouth on the Lord's day, I had to pray much, before I came tothe conclusion to comply with the request. At last I had the fullestassurance that I ought to preach at Chard. I have since heard that theLord used me in edifying the brethren, and through a general exhortationto all, to read the Scriptures with earnestness, a woman was stirred up todo so, and this was the means of her conversion. As to myself, I had amost refreshing season. I mention this circumstance to show how importantit is to ascertain the will of God, before we undertake any thing, becausewe are then not only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of ourhands will prosper. --One of the brethren at Chard forced a sovereign uponme, against the acceptance of which I strove much, lest it should appearas if I had preached for money. Another would give me a paper with money. I refused it for the same reason. At last he put it by force into mypocket, and ran away. The paper contained 11s. 6d. 

April 16th. This morning I found that our money was reduced to 3s. , and Isaid to myself, I must now go and ask the Lord earnestly for freshsupplies. But before I had prayed, there was sent from Exeter £2, as aproof that the Lord hears before we call. 

I would observe here, by the way, that if any of the children of Godshould think that such a mode of living leads away from the Lord, and fromcaring about spiritual things, and has the effect of causing the mind tobe taken up with the question, What shall I eat? What shall I drink?--andWherewithal shall I be clothed? and that on that account it would be muchbetter to have a stated salary, particularly for one who labours in theword and doctrine, in order that he may be above these cares; I say, should any believer think so, I would request him, prayerfully to considerthe following remarks:--1. I have had experience of both ways, and knowthat my present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected withless care. 2. Confidence in the Lord, to whom alone I look for the supplyof my temporal wants, keeps me, at least whilst faith is in exercise, whena case of distress comes before me, or when the Lord's work calls for mypecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: Will my salary last out?Shall I have enough myself the next month? &c. In this my freedom, I am, by the grace of God, generally at least, able to say to myself somethinglike this:--My Lord is not limited; He can again supply; He knows thatthis present case has been sent to me; and thus, this way of living, sofar from leading to anxiety, as it regards possible future want, is ratherthe means of keeping from it. And truly it was once said to me by anindividual, --You can do such and such things, and need not to lay by, forthe church in the whole of Devonshire cares about your wants. My replywas: The Lord can use not merely any of the saints throughout Devonshire, but those throughout the world, as instruments to supply my temporalwants. 3. This way of living has often been the means of reviving the workof grace in my heart, when I have been getting cold; and it also has beenthe means of bringing me back again to the Lord, after I have beenbacksliding. For it will not do, --it is not possible, to live in sin, and, at the same time, by communion with God, to draw down from heaven everything one needs for the life that now is. 4. Frequently, too, a freshanswer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the means of quickeningmy soul, and filling me with much joy. 

About April 20th I went to Chumleigh. Here and in the neighbourhood Ipreached repeatedly, and from thence I went to Barnstaple. Whilst we wereat Barnstaple, there was found in my wife's bag a sovereign, put thereanonymously. A sister also gave us £2. On our return to Teignmouth, May 2, when we emptied our travelling bag, there fell out a paper with money. Itcontained two sovereigns and threepence, the latter put in, no doubt, tomake a noise in emptying the bag. May the Lord bless and reward the giver!In a similar way we found 4s. Put anonymously into one of our drawers, afew days after. 

June 6. Having prayed much on the previous days, that, when we wantedmoney, the Lord would be pleased to send some, today, after I had againasked for it, a poor sister brought half a sovereign, 5s. From herself, and 5s. From another very poor sister. This is not only a fresh proof thatthe Lord hears prayer, but also that He sends by whom He will. Our moneyhad been reduced to 8s. 

June 12. Lord's day. On Thursday last I went with brother Craik toTorquay, to preach there. I had only about 3s. With me and left my wifewith about 6s. At home. The Lord provided beds for us through thehospitality of a brother. I asked the Lord repeatedly for money; but whenI came home my wife had only about 3s. Left, having received nothing. Wewaited still upon the Lord. Yesterday passed away, and no money came. Wehad 9d. Left. This morning we were still waiting upon the Lord, andlooking for deliverance. We had only a little butter left for breakfast, sufficient for brother E. And a relative living with us, to whom we didnot mention our circumstances, that they might not be made uncomfortable. After the morning meeting, brother Y. Most unexpectedly opened the box, and, in giving me quite as unexpectedly the money at such a time, he toldme that he and his wife could not sleep last night on account of thinkingthat we might want money. The most striking point is, that, after I hadrepeatedly asked the Lord, but received nothing, I then prayed yesterday, that the Lord would be pleased to impress it on brother Y. That we wantedmoney, so that he might open the box. There was in it £1. 8s. 10 1/2d. Ourjoy on account of this fresh deliverance was great, and we praised theLord heartily. 

June 18. Brother Craik called on us today, and he then had only 1 1/2d. Left. A few minutes after, he received: a sum of money, and in returningto us on his way home, he gave us 10s. , when we had but 3s. Left. 

July 20. A shoulder of mutton and a loaf were sent to us anonymously. --Iunderstood some time afterwards, that Satan had raised the false reportthat we were starving, in consequence of which a believer sent theseprovisions. I would mention by the way, that various reports have beencirculated, on account of this our way of living. Sometimes it has beensaid that we had not enough to eat, and that surely such and such aninfirmity of body we had brought on us, because we had not the necessariesof life. Now, the truth is, that, whilst we have been often brought low;yea, so low, that we have not had even as much as one single penny left;or so as to have the last bread on the table, and not as much money as wasneeded to buy another loaf;--yet never have we had to sit down to a meal, without our good Lord having provided nourishing food for us. I am boundto state this, and I do it with pleasure. My Master has been a kind Masterto me, and if I had to choose this day again, as to the way of living, theLord giving me grace, I would not choose differently. But even these veryreports, false as they were, I doubt not the Lord has sometimes used as ameans, to put it into the hearts of His children, to remember our temporalnecessities. 

About July 25th I preached several times at Collumpton, and in aneighbouring village, in the open air. My experience as it regardspreaching in the open air has been very different from what I might haveexpected. I have often preached out of doors, and but once has it beenblessed, as far as I know, and that was in the case of an officer in thearmy, who came to make sport of it; whilst almost in every place, if notin every place, where I have preached in rooms or chapels, the Lord hasgiven testimony to the Word. Perhaps the Lord has not been pleased to letme see fruit from this part of my work, though I have been many timesengaged in it; or it may be, that, because I did not pray so earnestlyrespecting my out-door preaching as respecting my in-door preaching, theformer has not been so much blessed as the latter. But this testimony Icannot but bear, that, though I do not consider it at present my work, onaccount of want of bodily strength, yet it is a most important work, and Ishould delight in being so honoured now, as to be allowed to be engaged init. 

August 9. After extreme suffering, which lasted about seventeen hours, mywife was this day delivered of a still-born child. --Who of my readerswould suppose, that whilst I was so abundantly blessed by God, and that inso many respects, my heart should have been again many times duringseveral months previous to this day, cold, wretched, carnal? Howlong-suffering is the Lord! Repeatedly, during this time, Icould let hours run on, after I had risen in the morning, beforeI prayed; at least, before I retired for prayer. And at thattime when I appeared most zealous for God, perhaps moreso than at any time before or since, I was often far frombeing in a spiritual state. I was not now, indeed, indulging in grossoutward sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often--veryoften, the eye of my kind loving Father must have looked on me with muchgrief. On this account, I have no doubt, the Lord now, in greatcompassion, sent this heavy blow. I had not seriously thought of the greatdanger connected with childbearing, and therefore had never earnestlyprayed about it. Now came this solemn time. The life of my dear wife washanging, as it were, on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my consciencetold me, that my state of heart made such a chastisement needful. Yet, atthe same time, I was much supported. --When the child was still-born, I sawalmost immediately afterwards, that this could not have been expectedotherwise, for I had not looked on the prospect of having a child as on ablessing, which I was about to receive from God, but rather considered itas a burden and a hindrance in the Lord's work; for I did not know then, that, whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on the onehand, a hindrance to the servant of Christ, they also may fit him, on theother hand, for certain parts of his work, in teaching him things whichare important to be known, especially for the pastoral work. The Lord nowbrought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon my beloved wife, which lasted for six weeks, combined with a partial lameness of the leftside. --Immediately after the eventful time of August 8th and 9th, the Lordbrought me, in His tender mercy, again into a spiritual state of heart, sothat I was enabled to look on this chastisement as a great blessing. Maythis my experience be a warning to believing readers, that the Lord maynot need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart! May it alsobe a fresh proof to them, that the Lord, in His very love andfaithfulness, will not, and cannot let us go on in backsliding, but thatHe will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to Himself!

There was one point, however, in which, by grace, I had continued to befaithful to God, i. E. In my mode of living, and, therefore, in as far as Ihad been faithfully sowing, I now reaped abundantly; for the Lord mostgraciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal wants, thoughthey were many. Another reason for this may have been, that the Lord neverlays more on us, in the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makesneedful; so that whilst He smites with the one hand, He supports with theother. --We saw it to be against the Lord's mind to put by any money for mywife's confinement, though we might have, humanly speaking, very easilysaved £20. Or £30. During the six months previous to August 7th. I say, humanly speaking, and judging from what we had received during all thesemonths, we might have laid by as much as the above sums; but I have everyreason to believe, that, had I begun to lay up, the Lord would havestopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only apparent. Let no one profess to trust in God, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise the Lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed, beforeHe can answer the prayer for more. We were persuaded, that, if we laid outour money in the Lord's service, He would send more when we needed it; andthis our faith, His own gift, He graciously honoured, inasmuch as He notmerely gave us what we needed, but much more. 

On August 6th, just before this time of need, the Lord sent us £5. From adistance of about forty miles, and that from a sister, whom, up to thisday, neither of us know personally. On August 7th I received £1. 0s. 91/2d. Out of the box. August 15th, from a distance of twenty-five mileswas sent £5. , and from a distance of about seventy miles £1. August 18th, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, £1. Was sent to me, and a brother sent fromExeter £2. August 21st was again sent from a distance of seventy miles£5. , and August 23rd another £5. From the same place. Also, August 22nd, 16s. 9d. Was given out of the box. August 24th, a brother, who is a daylabourer, gave me 2s. 6d. August 31st, 5s. Was given to me. September 3rd, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, £3. 10s. Was given to me by a brother andthree sisters. September 4th, a sister gave me a guinea, and also out ofthe box was given 9s. 8d. September 10th, £6. Was given to me. Thus, within about one month, the Lord not only sent us nearly £40. , butlikewise all sorts of suitable provisions and refreshments, needful atsuch a time; and, in addition to this, the two medical gentlemen whoattended my wife would not take any remuneration for their unweariedattention and kindness, during the space of six weeks. Thus the Lord gaveus even more than we could have saved, if we had endeavoured to do so. 

November 16th. This morning I proposed united prayer respecting ourtemporal wants. Just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from Exmouth. In prayer we asked the Lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buyany. After prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, aham, sent by a brother at Exmouth, which served us for dinner. Thus notonly our own family was provided for, but also a sister in the Lord thenstaying with us. 

November 17th. Today we had not a single penny left. We had asked theLord yesterday and today. We desired only enough money to be able to buybread. We were reduced more than ever we had been before. But our graciousand faithful Lord, who never lays more upon His children than He enablesthem to bear, delivered us again this time, by sending us £1. 10s. 6d. , about an hour before we wanted money to buy bread. 

November 19th. We had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the Lordgraciously sent us again today 14s. 6d. I would just observe, that wenever contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according toRomans xiii. 8;) and therefore we have no bills with our tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c. ; but all we buy we pay for in readymoney. The Lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation, thancontract debts. Thus we always know how much we have, and how much we havea right to give away. May I entreat the believing reader, prayerfully toconsider this matter; for I am well aware that many trials come upon thechildren of God, on account of not acting according to Rom. Xiii. 8. 

November 27th, Lord's day. Our money had been reduced to 2 1/2d. ; ourbread was hardly enough for this day. I had several times brought our needbefore the Lord. After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked Him to giveus our daily bread, meaning literally that He would send us bread for theevening. Whilst I was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room. After I had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of herdinner, and from another poor sister, 5s. In the afternoon she alsobrought us a large loaf. Thus the Lord not only literally gave us bread, but also money. 

In reading about all these answers to prayer, the believing reader may beled to think that I am spiritually minded above most of the children ofGod, and that, therefore, the Lord favours us thus. The true reason isthis. Just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind ofGod, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. Our manner of livingis according to the mind of the Lord, for He delights in seeing Hischildren thus come to Him (Matt. Vi. ); and therefore, though I am weak anderring in many points, yet He blesses me in this particular, and, I doubtnot, will bless me, as long as He shall enable me to act according to Hiswill in this matter. 

After we had, on December 31st, 1831, looked over the Lord's graciousdealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporalwants, we had about 10s. Left. A little while after, the providence of Godcalled for that, so that not a single farthing remained. Thus we closedthe old year, in which the Lord had been so gracious in giving to us, without our asking any one:--

1. Through the instrumentality of the box, £31. 14s. --

2. From brethren of the Church at Teignmouth, in presents of money, £6. 18s. 6d. 

3. From brethren living at Teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected withthe Church at Teignmouth, £93. 6s. 2d. Altogether, £131. 18s. 8d. 

There had been likewise many articles of provision and some articles ofclothing given to us, worth at least £20. I am so particular in mentioningthese things, to show that we are never losers by acting according to themind of the Lord. For had I had my regular salary, humanly speaking, Ishould not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been thecase or not, this is plain, that I have not served a hard Master, and thatis what I delight to show. For, to speak well of His name, that thus mybeloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be encouraged to trust inHim, is the chief purpose of my writing. 

We had now in the new year to look up to our kind Father for new mercies, and during the year 1832 also we found Him as faithful and compassionateas before, not laying more on us than He enabled us to bear, though spacewill only permit me to mention a few particulars. 

January 7, 1832. We had been again repeatedly asking the Lord today andyesterday to supply our temporal wants, having no means to pay our weeklyrent; and this evening, as late as eleven o'clock, a brother gave us 19s. 6d. , a proof that the Lord is not limited to time. 

January 13. The Lord has again graciously fed us today. We have 5d. Left, some bread, rice, meat, potatoes, and other good things, and, above all, the Lord Jesus. He who has provided will provide. 

January 14. This morning we had nothing but dry bread with our tea; onlythe second time since we have been living by simple faith upon Jesus fortemporal supplies. We have more than £40. Of ready money in the house fortwo bills, 2 which will not be payable for several weeks; but we do notconsider this money to be our own, and would rather suffer greatprivation, God helping us, than take of it. I thank the Lord, who gives megrace to be more faithful in these matters than I used to be formerly, when I would have taken of it, and said, that by the time the money wasactually due, I should be able to replace it. We were looking to ourFather, and He has not suffered us to be disappointed. For when now we hadbut 3d. Left, and only a small piece of bread, we received 2s. And 5s. , the particulars concerning which would take up too much space. 

February 18. This afternoon I broke a blood vessel in my stomach, andlost a considerable quantity of blood. I was very happy immediatelyafterwards. February 19. This morning, Lord's day, two brethren called onme, to ask me what arrangement there should be made today, as it regardedthe four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit ofpreaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of thebrethren would need to stay at home to take my place. I asked them, kindlyto come again in about an hour, when I would give them an answer. Afterthey were gone, the Lord gave me faith to rise. I dressed myself, anddetermined to go to the chapel. I was enabled to do so, though so weakwhen I went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertionto me. I was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong avoice as usual, and for the usual length of time. After the morningmeeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preachagain in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I told him, that Ishould indeed consider it great presumption to do so, had the Lord notgiven me faith. I preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friendcalled again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting. Nevertheless, having faith, I preached again in the evening. After eachmeeting I became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of Godwas in the matter. After the third meeting I went immediately to bed, considering that it would be presumption to try my strength needlessly. 

February 20. The Lord enabled me to rise early in the morning, and to goto our usual prayer-meeting, where I read, spoke, and prayed. Afterwards Iwrote four letters, expounded the scriptures at home, and attended themeeting again in the evening. February 21. I attended the two meetings asusual, preached in the evening, and did my other work besides. February22. Today I attended the meeting in the morning, walked afterwards sixmiles with two brethren to Newton Bushel, and rode from thence toPlymouth: February 23. I am now as well as I was before I broke the bloodvessel. --In relating the particulars of this circumstance I would earnestlywarn every one who may read this, not to imitate me in such a thing if hehas no faith; but if he has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly behonoured by God. I could not say, that, if such a thing should happenagain, I would act in the same way; for when I have been not nearly soweak as when I had broken the blood-vessel, having no faith, I did notpreach; yet if it were to please the Lord to give me faith, I might beable to do the same, though even still weaker than at the time just spokenof. 

About this time I repeatedly prayed with sick believers till they wererestored. Unconditionally I asked the Lord for the blessing of bodilyhealth, (a thing which I could not do now), and almost always had thepetition granted. In some instances, however, the prayer was not answered. In the same way, whilst in London, Nov. 1829, in answer to my prayers, Iwas immediately restored from a bodily infirmity under which I had beenlabouring for a long time, and which has never returned since. The way inwhich I now account for these facts is as follows. It pleased the Lord, Ithink, to give me in such cases something like the gift (not grace) offaith, so that unconditionally I could ask and look for an answer. Thedifference between the gift and the grace of faith seems to me this. According to the gift of faith I am able to do a thing, or believe that athing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing ofwhich would not be sin; according to the grace of faith I am able to do athing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which I havethe word of God as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doingit, or the not believing it would be sin. For instance, the gift of faithwould be needed, to believe that a sick person should be restored againthough there is no human probability: for there is no promise to thateffect; the grace of faith is needed to believe that the Lord will give methe necessaries of life, if I first seek the kingdom of God and Hisrighteousness: for there is a promise to that effect. " Matt. Vi. 

March 18. These two days we have not been able to purchase meat. Thesister in whose house we lodge gave us today part of her dinner. We arestill looking to Jesus for deliverance. We want money to pay the weeklyrent and to buy provisions. March 19. Our landlady sent again of her meatfor our dinner. We have but a halfpenny left. I feel myself very cold inasking for money: still I hope for deliverance, though I do not see whencemoney is to come. We were not able to buy bread today as usual. March 20. This has been again a day of very great mercies. In the morning we metround our breakfast which the Lord had provided for us, though we had nota single penny left. The last half-penny was spent for milk. We were thenstill looking to Jesus for fresh supplies. We both had no doubt that theLord would interfere. I felt it a trial that I had but little earnestnessin asking the Lord, and had this not been the case, perhaps we might havehad our wants sooner supplied. We have about £7. In the house; butconsidering it no longer our own, the Lord kept us from taking of it, withthe view of replacing what we had taken, as formerly I might have done. The meat which was sent yesterday for our dinner, was enough also fortoday. Thus the Lord had provided another meal. Two sisters called upon usabout noon, who gave us two pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and twocakes of chocolate. Whilst they were with us, a poor sister came andbrought 1s. From herself, and 2s. 6d. From another poor sister. Ourlandlady also sent us again of her dinner, and also a loaf. Our breadwould scarcely have been enough for tea, had the Lord not thus graciouslyprovided. In the afternoon the same sister who brought the money, broughtus also from another sister, one pound of butter and 2s. , and from anothersister 5s. Thus the Lord graciously has again answered our feeble and coldbreathings. Lord, strengthen our faith. 

March 29. I went to Shaldon this morning. Brother Craik has left forBristol for four weeks. I think he will only return to take leave, andthat the Lord will give him work there. [What a remarkable presentiment, which came to pass, concerning my beloved brother and fellow-labourer!]

April 4. Besides our own family, there are now four visitors staying withus, and we have but 2s. April 5. Four pounds of cheese, and one pound ofbutter were sent to us. April 7. Anonymously was sent to us, fromPlymouth, a large ham, with two sovereigns tied in the corner of the clothin which the ham was wrapped up. Thus the Lord, once more, in this ourtime of need, when our expenses are double, has graciously appeared for us. 

April 8. I have again felt much this day that Teignmouth is no longer myplace, and that I shall leave it. 

I would observe that in August of the preceding year (1831), I begangreatly to feel as if my work at Teignmouth were done, and that I shouldgo somewhere else. On writing about this to a friend, I was led, from theanswer I received, to consider the matter more maturely, and at last hadit settled in this way, that it was not likely to be of God, because, forcertain reasons, I should naturally have liked to leave Teignmouth. Afterwards I felt quite comfortable in remaining there. In thecommencement of the year 1832 I began again much to doubt whetherTeignmouth was my place, or whether my gift was not much more that ofgoing about from place to place, seeking to bring believers back to theScriptures, than to stay in one place and to labour as a pastor. I thoughtso particularly whilst at Plymouth, in February. On my return, however, Iresolved to try whether it were not the will of God that I should stillgive myself to pastoral work among the brethren at Teignmouth; and, withmore earnestness and faithfulness than ever, I was enabled to attend tothis work, and was certainly much refreshed and blessed in it; and I sawimmediately blessings result from it. This my experience seemed more thanever to settle me at Teignmouth. But notwithstanding this, the impressionthat my work was done there, came back after some time, as the remark inmy journal of April 8th shows, and it became stronger and stronger. Therewas one point remarkable in connexion with this. Wherever I went, Ipreached with much more enjoyment and power than at Teignmouth, the veryreverse of which had been the case on my first going there. Moreover, almost every where I had many more hearers than at Teignmouth, and foundthe people hungering after food, which, generally speaking, was no longerthe case at Teignmouth. 

April 10. I asked the Lord for a text, but obtained none. At last; afterhaving again much felt that Teignmouth is not my place, I was directed toIsaiah li. 9-11. April 11. Felt again much that Teignmouth will not muchlonger be my residence. April 12. Still feel the impression thatTeignmouth is no longer my place. April 13. Found a letter from BrotherCraik, from Bristol, on my return from Torquay, where I had been topreach. He invites me to come and help him. It appears to me from what hewrites, that such places as Bristol more suit my gifts. O Lord, teach me!I have felt this day more than ever, that I shall soon leave Teignmouth. Ifear, however, there is much connected with it which savours of the flesh, and that makes me fearful. It seems to me as if I should shortly go toBristol, if the Lord permit. April 14. Wrote a letter to Brother Craik, inwhich I said I should come, if I clearly saw it to be the Lord's will. Have felt again very much today, yea, far more than ever, that I shallsoon leave Teignmouth. At last I was pressed in spirit to determine thattomorrow I would tell the brethren so, in order that by the result of thisI might see more of the Lord's mind; and that, at all events, I might havetheir prayers, to be directed in this matter by the Lord. 

April 15. Lord's day. This evening I preached again once more, as fullyas time would permit, on the Lord's second coming. After having done so, Itold the brethren what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on firstreceiving it, even to determine me to leave London, and to preachthroughout the kingdom; but that the Lord had kept me chiefly atTeignmouth for these two years and three months, and that it seemed to menow that the time was near when I should leave them. I reminded them ofwhat I told them when they requested me to take the oversight of them, that I could make no certain engagement, but stay only so long with themas I should see it to be the Lord's will to do so. There was much weepingafterwards. But I am now again in peace. [This would not have been thecase, had the matter not been of God. I knew of no place to go to. My mindwas much directed to Torquay, to preach there for a month or so, and thento go further. For though I had written that I would come to Bristol, Imeant only to stay there for a few days, and to preach a few times. ]

April 16. This morning I am still in peace. I am glad I have spoken tothe brethren, that they may be prepared, in case the Lord should take meaway. --Having again little money, and being about to leave Teignmouth forseveral days, I asked the Lord for a fresh supply, and within about fourhours afterwards he sent me, from six different quarters, £3. 7s. 6d. Ileft today for Dartmouth, where I preached in the evening. --There was muchweeping today among the saints at Teignmouth. This is already a trial tome, and it will be still more so should I actually leave. --It is a mostimportant work to go about and stir up the churches; but it requires muchgrace, much self-denial, much saying over the same things, and thegreatest watchfulness and faithfulness, in making use of one's time forprayer, meditation, and reading the Scriptures. --I had five answers toprayer today. 1. I awoke at five, for which I had asked the Lord lastevening. 2. The Lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition, underwhich she had been suffering. It would have been trying to me to have hadto leave her in that state. 3. The Lord sent us money. 4. There was aplace vacant on the Dartmouth coach, which only passes through Teignmouth. 5. This evening I was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed. 

April 17. I preached again at Dartmouth. April 18. I am still atDartmouth. I wrote to Brother Craik, that, the Lord willing, I should bewith him at Bristol on the 21st. I preached again this evening, withespecial assistance, before a large congregation. April 19. I awoke early, and had a good while to myself for prayer and reading the Word, and lefthappy in spirit for Torquay, where I preached in the evening with muchhelp. The brethren are sorry, that, on account of my going to Bristol, myregular weekly preaching will be given up there for a while. I walked homeafter preaching, and arrived at Teignmouth at twelve o'clock. 

April 20. I left this morning for Bristol. I preached with little power(as to my own feeling) in Exeter, from three till half-past four. At fiveI left for Taleford, where I preached in the evening, likewise with littlepower. I was very tired in body, and had had therefore little prayer. Butstill, in both places, the believers seemed refreshed. I went to bed ateleven, very, very tired. 

April 21. This morning I rose a little before five, and attended a prayermeeting from a quarter past five, to a quarter past six. I spoke for sometime at the meeting. Afterwards I prayed and read again with somebelievers, and likewise expounded the Scriptures. The Bristol coach tookme up about ten. I was very faithless on the journey. 

I did not speak a single word for Christ, and was therefore wretched inmy soul. This has shown me again my weakness. Though the Lord had been sogracious to me yesterday, in this particular, both on my way fromTeignmouth to Exeter, and from Exeter to Taleford, and had given me muchencouragement, in that He made my fellow-travellers either thankfully toreceive the word, or constrained them quietly to listen to the testimony;yet I did not confess Him today. Nor did I give away a single tract, though I had my pockets full on purpose. O wretched man that I am!

I would offer here a word of warning to my fellow-believers. Often thework of the Lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communionwith Him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls. --On the19th I had left Dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in theevening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours sleep, traveled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, andconversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and rose before five. All this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore, however careless about the Lord's work I might have appeared to mybrethren, I ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer andreading the Word, especially as I had a long journey before me that day, and as I was going to Bristol, which in itself required much prayer. Instead of this, I hurried to the prayer meeting after a few minutes'private prayer. But let none think that public prayer will make up forcloset communion. Then again, afterwards, when I ought to have withdrawnmyself, as it were, by force, from the company of beloved brethren andsisters, and given my testimony for the Lord (and, indeed, it would havebeen the best testimony I could have given them), by telling them that Ineeded secret communion with the Lord: I did not do so, but spent thetime, till the coach came, in conversation with them. Now, howeverprofitable in some respects it may have been to those with whom I was onthat morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not having had it, I waslean, and felt the effects of it the whole day, and hence I believe itcame that I was dumb on the coach. 

April 22. This morning I preached at Gideon Chapel, Bristol. [Though thissermon gave rise to false reports, yet the Lord was pleased to bless it toseveral; and the false reports were likewise instrumental in bringing manyindividuals under the sound of the Word. ] In the afternoon I preached atthe Pithay Chapel. [This sermon was a blessing to many, many souls; andmany were brought through it, to come afterwards to hear Brother Craik andme. Among others it was the means of converting a young man who was anotorious drunkard, and who was just again on his way to a public house, when an acquaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him to heara foreigner preach. He did so; and from that moment he was so completelyaltered, that he never again went to a public house, and was so happy inthe Lord afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eagerness toread the Scriptures, as his wife told me. He died about five monthsafterwards. ] This evening I was much instructed in hearing Brother Craikpreach. I am now fully persuaded that Bristol is the place where the Lordwill have me to labour. 

April 23. This evening I preached again with much assistance at Gideon. Iwas very happy. [The Lord made this testimony a blessing to several. ] Ifeel that Bristol is my place for a while. The Lord mercifully teach me!

April 27. It seems to Brother Craik and myself the Lord's will that weshould go home next week, in order that in quietness, without beinginfluenced by what we see here, we may more inquire into the Lord's willconcerning us. It especially appears to us much more likely that we shouldcome to a right conclusion among the brethren and sisters in Devonshire, whose tears we shall have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay withthem we shall have to hear, than here in Bristol, where we see only thosewho wish us to stay. Some asked me to stay with them while Brother Craikgoes home. But it seems better that we should both go. [I observe here, itwas evident that many preferred my beloved brother's gifts to my own; yet, as he would not come, except I came with him: and as I knew that I alsohad been called by the Lord for the ministry of the Word, I knew that Ialso should find my work in Bristol, and that though it might be adifferent one, yet I should fill up in some measure his lack, whilst hesupplied my deficiencies; and that thus we might both be a benefit to thechurch and to the world in Bristol. The result has evidently confirmedthis. I am, moreover, by the grace of God, strengthened to rejoice in myfellow-labourer's honour, instead of envying him; having, in some measure, been enabled to enter into the meaning of that word: "A man can receivenothing, except it be given him from above. "]

April 28. It still seems to us the Lord's will that we should both leavesoon, to have quiet time for prayer concerning Bristol. This afternoon Ifelt the want of retirement, finding afresh, that the society of brethrencannot make up for communion with the Lord. I spent about three hours overthe Word and in prayer, this evening, which has been a great refreshmentto my inner man. 

April 29. I preached this morning with much outward power, but withlittle inward enjoyment, on Rev. Iii. 14-22. [As it afterwards appeared, that testimony was blessed to many, though I lacked enjoyment in my ownsoul. May this be an encouragement to those who labour in word anddoctrine!] This afternoon Brother Craik preached in a vessel called theClifton Ark, fitted up for a chapel. In the evening I preached in the samevessel. [These testimonies also God greatly honoured, and made them themeans of afterwards bringing several, who then heard us, to our meetingplaces. How did God bless us in everything we took into our hands! How wasHe with us, and how did He help us, thereby evidently showing that HeHimself had sent us to this city!] Brother Craik preached this eveningat Gideon for the last time previous to our going. The aisles, the pulpitstairs, and the vestry were filled, and multitudes went away on account ofthe want of room. 

April 30. It was most affecting to take leave of the dear children ofGod, dozens pressing us to return soon, many with tears in their eyes. Theblessing which the Lord has given to our ministry, seems to be very great. 

We both see it fully the Lord's will to come here, though we do not seeunder what circumstances. A brother has promised to take Bethesda Chapelfor us, and to be answerable for the payment of the rent: so that thus weshould have two large chapels. -I saw, again, two instances today, in whichmy preaching has been blessed. 

May 1. Brother Craik and I left this morning for Devonshire. May 2. Ipreached this evening at Bishopsteignton, and told the brethren, that, theLord willing, I should soon leave them. May 3. I saw several of thebrethren today, and felt so fully assured that it is the Lord's will thatI should go to Bristol, that I told them so. This evening I had a meetingwith the three deacons, when I told them plainly about it; asking them, ifthey see any thing wrong in me concerning this matter, to tell me of it. They had nothing to say against it; yea, though much wishing me to stay, they were convinced themselves that my going is of God. 

May 4. I saw again several brethren today, and told them about myintention to go to Bristol. There is much sorrowing and sighing, but itdoes not move me in the least, though I desire to sympathize with them. Iam still fully persuaded that the Lord will have us go to Bristol. May 5. One other striking proof to my mind, that my leaving Teignmouth is of God, is, that some truly spiritual believers, though they much wish me to stay, themselves see that I ought to go to Bristol. 

May 7. Having received a letter from Bristol on May 5th, it was answeredtoday in such a way that the Lord may have another opportunity, to preventour going thither, if it be not of Him. Especially we will not move asingle stone out of the way in our own strength, and much less still beguilty of a want of openness and plainness, nor would we wish by suchmeans to obtain Bethesda chapel. 

May 11. The Lord seems to try us about Bristol. There was reason toexpect a letter the day before yesterday, but none came; also today thereis no letter. Even this is very good for us. Yea, I do wish most heartilythat we may not have Bethesda chapel, if it be not good for us. 

May 15. Just when I was in prayer concerning Bristol, I was sent for tocome to Brother Craik. Two letters had arrived from Bristol. The brethrenassembling at Gideon accept our offer to come under the conditions we havemade, i. E. , for the present to consider us only as ministering among them, but not in any fixed pastoral relationship, so that we may preach as weconsider it to be according to the mind of God, without reference to anyrules among them; that the pew-rents should be done away with and that weshould go on, respecting the supply of our temporal wants, as inDevonshire. We intend, the Lord willing, to leave in about a week, thoughthere is nothing settled respecting Bethesda chapel. 

May 16. I preached for the last time at Bishopsteignton, and took leaveof the brethren. May 17. I went to Exmouth, and, after preaching, tookleave of the brethren. May 21. I began today to take leave of the brethrenat Teignmouth, calling on each of them. In the evening I went over toShaldon to take leave of the brethren, of whom brother Craik has had theoversight. It has been a trying day. Much weeping on the part of thesaints. Were I not so fully persuaded that it is the will of God we shouldgo to Bristol, I should have been hardly able to bear it. 

May 22. The brethren at Shaldon and Teignmouth say, that they expect ussoon back again. As far as I understand the way in which God deals withhis children, this seems very unlikely. In every respect we have seen theLord's goodness, and all proves that it is His will that we should go toBristol. This full persuasion has helped me to withstand all the tears ofthe saints. Towards the evening the Lord, after repeated prayer, gave meCol. I. 21-23, as a text, for the last word of exhortation. It seemed tome best to speak as little as possible about myself, and as much aspossible about Christ. I scarcely alluded to our separation, and onlycommended myself and the brethren, in the concluding prayer, to the Lord. The parting scenes are very trying, but my full persuasion is, that theseparation is of the Lord. 

May 23. My beloved wife, Mr. Groves, my father-in-law, and I left thismorning for Exeter. Dear brother Craik intends to follow us tomorrow. 

Review of the time since I left London, up to my removal from Teignmouth. 

I. All this time the Lord never allowed me to regret the step I hadtaken, in separating from the Society. 

II. The results have most abundantly shown, that it was of God; for, byHis help, 1, I have not lost in truth or grace since. 2, I have been inpeace concerning the matter. 3, the Lord made it a blessing to many souls. 

III. During this period it pleased the Lord, to convert, through myinstrumentality, many souls at Teignmouth, Exmouth, Bishopsteignton, Exeter, Chudleigh, in the neighbourhood of Barnstaple, at Chard, andelsewhere. The church at Teignmouth increased from eighteen to fifty-one. 

IV. The Lord most graciously supplied all my temporal wants during thisperiod, so that I lacked no good thing. 

V. We had unexpectedly received, just before we left Teignmouth, about£15. , else we should not have been able to defray all the expensesconnected with leaving, traveling, &c. By this also the Lord showed Hismind concerning our going to Bristol. 

VI. During these two years and five months, since I left London, I havesinned in many respects, though walking, it may be, in the eyes of thebrethren, very near to God. Indeed, my confession concerning this timealso is, that I have been an unprofitable servant. 

The following record will now show to the believing reader how far, whatI have said concerning my persuasion, that it was the will of God that weshould go to Bristol, has been proved by facts. 

May 25th, 1832. This evening we arrived in Bristol. May 27. This morningwe received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in Devonshire, which we take as an earnest that the Lord will provide for us here also. May 28. When we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage thetemporal affairs of Gideon chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, havingall the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, amatter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother Craik and Ihad thought; we found that the Lord had so graciously ordered this matterfor us, that there was not the least objection on the part of thesebrethren. 

June 4. For several days we have been looking about for lodgings, butfinding none plain and cheap enough, we were led to make this also asubject of earnest prayer; and now, immediately afterwards, the Lord hasgiven us such as are suitable. They are the plainest and cheapest we canfind, but still too good for servants of Jesus, as our Master had notwhere to lay His head. We pay only 18s. A week for two sitting-rooms andthree bedrooms, coals and attendance. It was particularly difficult tofind cheap furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same house, whichwe need, as brother Craik and we live together. How good is the Lord tohave thus appeared for us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragementto commit every thing to Him in prayer!

June 5. Today we had already a testimony of a sinner having beenconverted by brother Craik's instrumentality, on the first Lord's day inApril, simply through hearing the text read. [This aged sister livedeleven years afterwards, during which time her walk was according to theprofession she made. She fell asleep in 1843. ] June 7. We have daily freshencouragements, and fresh proofs that our being here is of God. June 16. We saw another instance of conversion through brother Craik'sinstrumentality. 

June 25. Today it was finally settled to take Bethesda chapel for atwelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with theunderstanding, that, if the Lord shall bless our labours in that place, sothat believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them tohelp him; but, if not, that he will pay all. This was the only way inwhich we could take the chapel; for we could not think it to be of God tohave had this chapel, though there should have been every prospect ofusefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. We had tried to obtain acheaper meeting-place, but could find none large enough to accommodate thehearers. 

July 6. Today we commenced preaching at Bethesda Chapel. It was a goodday. July 13. Today we heard of the first cases of cholera in Bristol. July 16. This evening, from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed forconversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals, who wished tospeak to us about their souls. There were so many, that we were engagedfrom six till twenty minutes past ten. 

These meetings we have continued ever since twice a week, or once a week, or once a fortnight, or once a month, as our strength and time allowed it, or as they seemed needed. We have found them beneficial in the followingrespects:

1. Many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer coming at anappointed time to the vestry to converse with us, to calling on us in ourown house. 2. The very fact of appointing a time for seeing people, toconverse with them in private concerning the things of eternity, hasbrought some, who, humanly speaking, never would have called on us underother circumstances; yea, it has brought even those who, though theythought they were concerned about the things of God, yet were completelyignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking to them. 3. These meetings have also been a great encouragement to ourselves in thework, for often, when we thought that such and such expositions of theWord had done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found to bethe reverse; and likewise, when our hands were hanging down, we have beenafresh encouraged to go forward in the work of the Lord, and to continuesowing the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases, in whichthe Lord had condescended to use us as instruments, particularly as inthis way instances have sometimes occurred in which individuals havespoken to us about the benefit which they derived from our ministry, notonly a few months before, but even as long as two, three, and four yearsbefore. 

For the above reasons I would particularly recommend to other servants ofChrist, especially to those who live in large towns, if they have notalready introduced a similar plan, to consider whether it may not be wellfor them also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. Thosemeetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to speak aright, toall those who come, according to their different need; and one is ledcontinually to feel that one is not sufficient of one's self for thesethings, but that our sufficiency can be alone of God. These meetings alsohave been by far the most wearing out part of all our work, though at thesame time the most refreshing. 

July 18. Today I spent the whole morning in the vestry, to procure aquiet season. This has now for some time been the only way, on account ofthe multiplicity of engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, readingthe Word and meditation. July 19. I spent from half-past nine till one inthe vestry, and had real communion with the Lord. The Lord be praised, whohas put it into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirement!

August 5. When all our money was gone today, the Lord again graciouslysupplied our wants. August 6. This afternoon, from two till after six, brother Craik and I spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. We have hadagain, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labours, abundantreason brought before us to praise the Lord for having sent us to Bristol. 

August 13, 1832. This evening one brother and four sisters united withbrother Craik and me in church fellowship at Bethesda, without any rules, desiring only to act as the Lord shall be pleased to give us light throughHis word. 

August 14. This day we set apart for prayer concerning the cholera, andhad three meetings. 

August 17. This morning, from six to eight, we had a prayer meeting atGideon, on account of the cholera. Between two and three hundred peoplewere present. [We continued these meetings every morning, as long as thecholera raged in Bristol, and afterwards changed them into prayer meetingsfor the church at large, so that we had them for about four months. ]

August 24. This morning a sister in the Lord, within fifty yards of ourlodging, was taken ill in the cholera, and died this afternoon. Herhusband, also a believer, has been attacked, and may be near death. Theravages of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful. We havereason to believe that great numbers die daily in this city. Who may bethe next, God alone knows. I have never realised so much the nearness ofdeath. Except the Lord keep us this night, we shall be no more in the landof the living tomorrow. Just now, ten in the evening, the funeral bell isringing, and has been ringing the greater part of this evening. It ringsalmost all the day. Into Thine hands, O Lord, I commend myself! Here isThy poor worthless child! If this night I should be taken in the cholera, my only hope and trust is in the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for theremission of all my many sins. I have been thoroughly washed in it, andthe righteousness of God covers me. --As yet there have not been any of thesaints, among whom brother Craik and I labour, taken in the cholera. [Onlyone of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this disease. I wouldobserve, that though brother Craik and I visited many cholera cases, byday and by night, yet the Lord most graciously preserved us and ourfamilies from it. ]

September 17. This morning the Lord, in addition to all His othermercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, are doing well. 

September 21. On account of the birth of our little one, and brotherCraik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, asthey will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more. Just when we were thinking about this, the house belonging to Gideonchapel, which had been let for three years, was unexpectedly given up bythe tenant, and it was now offered to us by the church. We said we couldnot think of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to buyany. The brother who proposed our going into that house, however, repliedthat the brethren would gladly furnish it for us, to which we objected, fearing it would burthen them. When, however, the matter was repeatedlymentioned, and when it was particularly expressed that it would be apleasure to the brethren to furnish the house, we began to consider thesubject in prayer, and we saw no scriptural objection to accept thiskindness, provided the furniture was very plain. This was promised. Thehouse was furnished, yet the love of the brethren had done it moreexpensively than we wished it. 

September 23. Today an individual desired publicly to return thanks tothe Lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother, brother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month. 

September 25. Last night brother Craik and I were called out of bed to apoor woman ill in the cholera. She was suffering intensely. We never saw acase so distressing. We could hardly say any thing to her on account ofher loud cries. I felt as if the cholera was coming upon me. We commendedourselves into the hands of the Lord when we came home, and He mercifullypreserved us. The poor woman died today. 

Oct. 1. A meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. Manymore are convinced of sin through brother Craik's preaching than my own. This circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probablythese:--1. That brother Craik is more spiritually minded than I am. 2. That he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than I do. 3. That he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his publicministrations, than I do. --This led me to more frequent and earnest prayerfor the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently assuch. The latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had notbeen so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik. Sincethen, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to use me as aninstrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brotherCraik has been used. May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means tolead any of His servants, who may not have acted according to these twolast points, to seek to do so, and may He graciously enable me to do somore abundantly!

October 3. This day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholerahaving decreased. Oct. 5. Prayer meeting this morning as usual. Thecholera is very much decreasing, and the number at our morning prayermeetings likewise. --Hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, butmany of them, when the judgment of God had passed away, cared no longerabout their souls. Yet a goodly number, who were first led through theinstrumentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now breaking breadwith us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord. How merciful in itsresults has this heavy judgment been to many!

January 4, 1833. This morning we received letters from Bagdad. Themissionary brethren there invite brother Craik and me to come and jointhem in their labours. The invitation was accompanied by drafts to theamount of £200. , for our traveling expenses. What wilt Thou have me to do, gracious Lord? I do not know what may be the Lord's mind. There arepoints which ought to be much considered and prayed over: There are Germanvillages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour; upon our going, that of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at Bagdad areof one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; thegoing out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting inthe Lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony forHim; I have had for years a feeling as if one day I should go out as amissionary to the heathen or Mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of thebrethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points, which mustappear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of ourwork here, before I can determine not to go. 

January 5. I considered with brother Craik about going to Bagdad. We seenothing clearly. If the Lord will have me to go, here I am. January 7. Ispent again some time in prayer, respecting our going to Bagdad, andexamined more fully into it. January 8. I had from half-past five tilleight this morning to myself in prayer and reading the Word. I prayedthen, and repeatedly besides this day, respecting our going to Bagdad. Iwrote also a letter to some believers at and near Barnstaple, to ask theirprayers concerning this matter. I do not see more clearly than I didbefore. January 9. I again asked the Lord concerning Bagdad, but seenothing clearly respecting it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post, unless He Himself should most evidently take me away, and I did not feelafterwards my remaining here to be against His will. January 14. I feelmore and more satisfied that it is not of the Lord that I should go toBagdad. January 19. For some days past I have been reading brother Groves'journal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the sake of informationrespecting his position there, and also, if it please the Lord, that Hemay use this as a means to show me clearly wether I should go or stay. Blessed be His name that I have no desire of my own in this matter![Forty-seven years have since passed away, and I think I may say thisday still, according to the best of my knowledge, I had no desire of myown in this matter; but I never saw it to be the Lord's will to leave thework which He Himself had so evidently given me. ]

February 9. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord graciously help meto follow him, as far as he followed Christ. The greater part of theLord's people whom we know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were togive us grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might draw muchmore than we have as yet done out of our Heavenly Father's bank, for ourpoor brethren and sisters. 

May 27. Today the two churches, assembling at Gideon and Bethesda, mettogether at tea. --These meetings we have often repeated, and found themprofitable on several accounts. 1. They give a testimony to the world ofthe love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus together topartake of a meal. 2. Such meetings may be instrumental in uniting thesaints more and more together. 3. They give us a sweet foretaste of ourmeeting together at the marriage supper of the Lamb. --At these meetings wepray and sing together, and any brother has an opportunity to speak whatmay tend to the edification of the rest. 

May 28. This morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of severalbrethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and I said to myself, "Ohthat it might please the Lord to give me means to help them!" About anhour afterwards I received £60. From a brother, whom up to this day Inever saw, and who then lived, as he does still, at a distance of severalthousand miles. This shows how the Lord can provide in any way for Hispeople, and that He is not confined to places. Oh that my heart mightoverflow with gratitude to the Lord! [Since the first edition was printed, I have become personally acquainted with the donor. ]

May 29. Review of the last twelve months, since we have been in Bristol, as it regards the fruits of our labours. 1. It has pleased the Lord togather a church, through our instrumentality, at Bethesda, which isincreased to 60 in number, and there have been added to Gideon church 49;therefore the total number of those added to us within the year, has been109. 2. There have been converted through our instrumentality, so far aswe have heard and can judge respecting the individuals, 65. 3. Manybacksliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of God have beenencouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. What clear proofs that wewere not suffered to be mistaken, as it regards our coming to Bristol. 

June 12. I felt, this morning, that we might do something for the soulsof those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we havedaily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them, reading the Scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the Lord. Asfar as I see at present, it appears well to me to take a place in themidst of those poor streets near us, to collect the children in themorning about eight, giving them each a piece of bread for breakfast, andthen to teach them to read, or to read the Scriptures to them, for aboutan hour and a half. Afterwards the aged, or grown-up people, may havetheir appointed time, when bread may be given to them, and the Scripturesread and expounded to them, for, perhaps, half an hour. About similarthings I have now and then thought these two years. --There was bread givento about 30 or 40 persons today; and though the number should increase, inthe above way, to 200 or more, surely our gracious and rich Lord can giveus bread for them also. No sooner had these thoughts arisen, and Icommunicated them to my dear brother Craik, than I was also directed to aplace where the people may be assembled, holding comfortably 150 children. We went about it, and may have it at the rent of 10l. , yearly. The Lorddirected us, also, to an aged brother as a teacher, and he gladly acceptedof our offer. Surely, this matter seems to be of God. Moreover, as I havejust now a good deal of money left of the 60l. , we have wherewith tobegin; and if it be the Lord's will, and if He will accept it, I amwilling to lay out at once 20l. Of it in this way, yea, all that is left, if He will but speak; and, by the time that this is gone, He can sendmore. O Lord, if this matter be of Thee, then prosper it! [This desire wasnot carried out. As far as I remember, the chief obstacle in the way was apressure of work coming upon brother Craik and me just about that time. Shortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread increased tobetween 60 and 80 a day, whereby our neighbours were molested, as thebeggars were lying about in troops in the streets, on account of which wewere obliged to tell them no longer to come for bread. But though, at thistime, this matter was not carried out, the thought was, from time to time, revived and strengthened in my mind, and it ultimately issued in theformation of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and in theestablishment of the Orphan-Houses. ]

June 22. A brother sent a hat to brother Craik, and one to me, as a tokenof his love and gratitude, like a thank-offering, as he says. This is nowthe fourth hat which the Lord has kindly sent me successively, whenever, or even before, I needed one. Between August 19th and 27th was sent to us, by several individuals, a considerable quantity of fruit. How very kind ofthe Lord, not merely to send us the necessaries of life, but even suchthings as, on account of the weakness of our bodies, or the want ofappetite, we might have desired! Thus the Lord has sent wine or porterwhen we required it; or, when there was want of appetite, and, on accountof the poverty of our brethren, we should not have considered it right tospend money upon such things, He has kindly sent fowls, game, &c. , to suitour appetite. We have, indeed, not served a hard Master. I am quiteashamed when I still, sometimes, find my heart dissatisfied, or, at least, not grateful as it ought to be. 

December 17. This evening brother Craik and I took tea with a family, ofwhom five have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through ourinstrumentality. [When we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonthafterwards, the number had increased to seven. ] As an encouragement tobrethren who may desire to preach the Gospel in a language not their own, I would mention, that the first member of this family who was converted, came merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words havingbeen mentioned to her which I did not pronounce properly. Scarcely had sheentered the chapel, when she was led to see herself a sinner. Herintention had been, to stay only a few minutes. But she felt herself as ifbound to the seat whilst I was speaking, and remained to the close of themeeting. She then went hastily home, instead of pursuing her pleasures, washed the paint off her face, stayed at home that Lord's day, till themeeting began again, and from that day was truly converted. Having foundthe Lord, she entreated her brothers and sisters to go and hear the Gospelpreached, who, in doing so, were likewise converted. May my dearmissionary brethren always be mindful that the Lord can bless a few brokensentences, however badly the words are pronounced, as a means in theconversion of sinners!

December 31, 1833. In looking over my journal, I find:--I. That at least260 persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, butthere have been many more, ) have come to converse with us about theconcerns of their souls. Out of these, 153 have been added to us infellowship these last eighteen months, 60 of whom have been brought to theknowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality. Besides these 60, fivehave fallen asleep before they were received into communion. In additionto these, there are many among the inquirers and candidates forfellowship, whom we have reason to believe God has given to us as seals toour ministry in this city. Some also were converted through ourinstrumentality who are in fellowship with other churches in this city. 

II. In looking over the Lord's dealings with me as to temporal things, Ifind that He has sent me, during the past year, --

1. In freewill offerings through the boxes, as my part £152 14s. 5 1/4d. 

2. Presents in money given to me £25 1s. 3d. 

3. Presents in clothes and provisions worth at least £20 0s. 0d. 

Altogether from the brethren in Bristol £197 15s. 8 1/4d. 

4. A brother sent me, from a distance of several thousand miles £60 0s. 0d. 

5. We live free of rent, which is worth for our part £10 0s. 0d. 

Totaling £267 15s 8 1/4d. 

It is just now four years since I first began to trust in the Lord alonefor the supply of my temporal wants. My little all I then had, at mostworth 100l. A year, I gave up to the Lord, having then nothing left butabout 5l. The Lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and He gave me, in return, not only as much as I had given up, but considerably more. Forduring the first year, He sent me already, in one way or other, (includingwhat came to me through family connexion) about 130l. During the secondyear, 151l. 18s. 8d. During the third year, 195l. 3s. During this year, 267l. 15s. 8 1/4d. The following points require particular notice:--1. During the last three years and three months I never have asked any onefor any thing; but, by the help of the Lord, I have been enabled at alltimes to bring my wants to Him, and He graciously has supplied them all. And thus, the Lord helping me, I hope to be enabled to go on to the lastmoment of my life. 2. At the close of each of these four years, though myincome has been comparatively great, I have had only a few shillings, ornothing at all left; and thus it is also today, by the help of God. 3. During the last year a considerable part of my income has come from adistance of several thousand miles, from a brother whom I never saw. 4. Since we have been obliged to discontinue the giving away bread to about50 poor people every day, on account of our neighbours, our income has notbeen, during the second part of this year, nearly so great, scarcelyone-half as much, as during the first part of it; as if the Lordwould thereby show us that when the calls upon us are many, He is ableto send in accordingly. Observe this!

January 1, 1834. It seemed well to brother Craik and me, to have anespecial public meeting for thanksgiving to the Lord, for His many merciestowards us since we have been in Bristol, and for the great success whichit has pleased Him to grant to our labours; and also for confession of oursinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat Him to continue His goodnesstowards us. Accordingly we met last evening, and continued together fromseven o'clock till half-past twelve. About four hundred individuals, ormore, met with us on the occasion. 

January 3. This evening, from six to a quarter past ten, we conversedwith inquirers. After we had seen twelve, we had to send away six. Therewere several fresh cases of conversion among them. The work of the Lord isstill going on among us. One of the individuals, who has lately beenbrought to the knowledge of the truth, used to say in his unconvertedstate, when he was tempted not to go to the chapel, --"I will go; the Lordmay bless me one day, and soften my hard heart. "--His expectation has notcome to nothing. 

January 9. Brother Craik and I have preached during these eighteenmonths, once a month, at Brislington, a village near Bristol, but have notseen any fruit of our labours there. This led me, today, very earnestly topray to the Lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. I was also, in the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the Lordin particular that He would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul thisevening, that we might have a little encouragement. I preached with muchhelp, and I hope there has been good done this evening. [The Lord didaccording to my request. There was, that evening, a young man brought tothe knowledge of the truth. ]

January 13. The Lord verified in our experience the truths which I hadpreached last evening in speaking on "Hast thou not made an hedge abouthim, and about his house, and about all that he hath, on every side?" Jobi. 10. Thieves attempted to break into Gideon Chapel. They had broken itopen, but were either smitten with blindness, so as not to see a certaindoor which had been left unlocked, or were disturbed before accomplishingtheir design; for there was nothing missing. 

January 14. I was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text, from which to preach, on the morning of October 20, and at last preachedwithout enjoyment. Today I heard of a NINTH instance in which this verysermon has been blessed. May my brethren in the ministry of the Word beencouraged by this to go quietly, yet prayerfully, forward in the work ofthe Lord!

January 31. This evening a Dorcas Society was formed among the sisters incommunion with us, but not according to the manner in which we found onewhen we came to Bristol; for as we have dismissed all teachers from theSunday School who were not believers, so now believing females only willmeet together to make clothes for the poor. The being mixed up withunbelievers had not only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation amongthe sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties in severalrespects. One sister, now united to us in fellowship, acknowledged thatthe being connected with the Dorcas Society, previous to her conversion, had been, in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as shethought, that, by helping on such like things, she might gain heaven atlast. Oh that the saints in faithful love, according to the word of God, (2 Cor. Vi. 14-18) might be more separated, in all spiritual matters, fromunbelievers, and not be unequally yoked together with them!

February 12. I prayed little, read little of the Word, and labouredlittle to day. On the whole an unprofitable day. May the Lord in mercygive me fervency of spirit!

February 19. Brother Craik preached this evening on Mark iv. 30-41, andwas enabled to give out precious truths. Oh that I did feed more uponthem! For several weeks I have had very little real communion with theLord. I long for it. I am cold. I have little love to the Lord. But I amnot, yea, I cannot be satisfied with such a state of heart. Oh that oncemore I might be brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it mightcontinue with me forever! I long to go home that I maybe with the Lord, and that I may love Him with all my heart. I fear that the Lord willchastise me at the time of my dear wife's confinement. Lord Jesus, takeThy miserable sinful servant soon to Thyself, that I may serve Theebetter! Within the last week I have repeatedly set out, as it were, afresh; but soon, very soon, all has come again to nothing. The Lord alonecan help me. Oh that it might please Him to bring me into a more spiritualstate!

February 20. By the mercy of God I was today melted into tears on accountof my state of heart. Oh that it might please the Lord to bring me into amore spiritual state! February 21. Through the help of the Lord I amrather in a better state of heart than for some time past. --I was led thismorning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, anInstitution for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. I trust thismatter is of God. --This evening we had again, from six to half-past ten, ameeting with inquirers. The work of the Lord is going on among us as muchas ever. Oh that our hearts might overflow with gratitude! Even after wewere worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but had to send awayseveral individuals. 

February 25. The inquiries were so many yesterday, that though weconversed more than four hours with them, we had to appoint anothermeeting for today, and saw again several from two till five. I was ledagain this day to pray about the forming of a new Missionary Institution, and felt still more confirmed that we should do so. 

[Some readers may ask why we formed a new Institution for the spread ofthe Gospel, and why we did not unite with some of the religious societies, already in existence, seeing that there are several Missionary-, Bible-, Tract-, and School Societies. I give, therefore, our reasons, in order toshow, that nothing but the desire to maintain a good conscience led us toact as we did. For as, by the grace of God, we acknowledged the word ofGod as the only rule of action for the disciples of the Lord Jesus, wefound, in comparing the then existing religious Societies with the word ofGod, that they departed so far from it, that we could not be united withthem, and yet maintain a good conscience. I only mention here thefollowing points. 

1. The end which these religious societies propose to themselves, andwhich is constantly put before their members, is, that the world willgradually become better and better, and that at last the whole world willbe converted. To this end there is constantly reference made to thepassage in Habakkuk ii. 14. "For the earth shall be filled with theknowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea, " or theone in Isaiah xi. 9, "For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of theLord, as the waters cover the sea. " But that these passages can have noreference to the present dispensation, but to the one which will commencewith the return of the Lord, that in the present dispensation things willnot become spiritually better, but rather worse, and that in the presentdispensation it is not the whole world that will be converted, but only apeople gathered out from among the Gentiles for the Lord, is clear frommany passages of the divine testimony, of which I only refer to thefollowing: Matt. Xiii. 24-30, and verse 36-43, 2 Tim. Iii. 1-13, Acts. Xv. 14. 

A hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and earnest prayer for itto the Lord, is quite scriptural; but it is unscriptural to expect theconversion of the whole world. Such an end we could not propose toourselves in the service of the Lord. 

2. But that which is worse, is the connexion of those religious societieswith the world, which is completely contrary to the word of God (2 Cor. Vi. 14-18). In temporal things the children of God need, whilst theyremain here on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to bedone requires, that those who attend to it should be possessed ofspiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly destitute), the childrenof God are bound, by their loyalty to their Lord, entirely to refrain fromassociation with the unregenerate. But alas! The connexion with the worldis but too marked in these religious societies; for every one who pays aguinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is considered as a member. Although such an individual may live in sin; although he may manifest toevery one that he does not know the Lord Jesus; if only the guinea or thehalf-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and has a right as such tovote. Moreover, whoever pays a larger sum, for instance, £10. Or £20. Canbe, in many societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his lifeshould be for the time, or should became afterwards. Surely, such thingsaught not to be!

3. The means which are made use of in these religious societies, toobtain money for the work of the Lord, are also, in other respects, unscriptural; for it is a most common case to ask the unconverted formoney, which even Abraham would not have done (Genesis xiv. 21-24): andhow much less should we do it, who are not only forbidden to havefellowship with unbelievers in all such matters (2 Cor. Vi. 14-18), butwho are also in fellowship with the Father and the Son, and can thereforeobtain everything from the Lord which we possibly can need in His service, without being obliged to go to the unconverted world! How altogetherdifferently the first disciples acted in this respect, we learn from 3John 7. 

4. Not merely, however, in these particulars is there a connexion withthe world in these religious societies; but it is not a rare thing foreven Committee Members (the individuals who manage the affairs of thesocieties) to be manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies tothe truth; and this is suffered because they are rich, or of influence, asit is called. 

5. It is a most common thing to endeavour to obtain for patrons andpresidents of these societies, and for chairmen at the public meetings, persons of rank or wealth to attract the public. Never once have I known acase of a POOR, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of Christbeing invited to fill the chair at such public meetings. Surely, theGalilean fishermen, who were apostles, or our Lord Himself, who was calledthe carpenter, would not have been called to this office, according tothese principles. These things ought not so to be among the disciples ofthe Lord Jesus, who should not judge with reference to a person's fitnessfor service in the Church of Christ by the position he fills in the world, or by the wealth he possesses!

6. Almost all these societies contract debts, so that it is acomparatively rare case to read a Report of any of them, without findingthat they have expended more than they have received, which, however, iscontrary both to the spirit and to the letter of the New Testament. (Rom. Xiii. 8). 

Now, although brother Craik and I were ready, by the grace of God, heartily to acknowledge that there are not only many true children of Godconnected with these religious societies, but that the Lord has alsoblessed their efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence ofthese and other principles and practices which we judged to beunscriptural, yet it appeared to us to be His will, that we should beentirely separate from these societies, (though we should be considered assingular persons, or though it should even appear that we despised otherpersons, or would elevate ourselves above them), in order that, by theblessing of God, we might direct the attention of the children of God inthese societies to their unscriptural practices; and we would rather beentirely unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the HolyScriptures. We therefore separated entirely from them, although weremained united in brotherly love with individual believers belonging tothem; and would by no means judge them for remaining in connexion withthem, if they do not see that such things are contrary to Scripture. Butseeing them to be so ourselves, we could not with a clear conscienceremain. After we had thus gone on for some time, we considered that itwould have an injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we laboured, and also be at variance with the spirit of the Gospel of Christ, if we didnothing at all for Missionary objects, the circulation of the HolyScriptures, Tracts, etc. ; and we were therefore led for these and otherreasons to do something for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad, however small the beginning might be. This was the origin of theInstitution, of which the following part of my Narrative speaks. ]

March 5. This evening, at a public meeting, brother Craik and I statedthe principles on which we intend to carry on the institution which wepropose to establish for the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. There was nothing outwardly influential, either in the number of peoplepresent, or in our speeches. May the Lord graciously be pleased to grantHis blessing upon the institution, which will be called "The ScripturalKnowledge Institutions for Home and Abroad. "

I. THE PRINCIPLES OF THE INSTITUTION. 

1. We consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help thecause of Christ, and we have Scriptural warrant for expecting the Lord'sblessing upon our work of faith and labour of love: and although, according to Matt. Xiii. 24-43, 2 Tim. Iii. 1-13, and many other passages, the world will not be converted before the coming of our Lord Jesus, still, while He tarries; all Scriptural means ought to be employed for theingathering of the elect of God. 

2. The Lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of theworld; i. E. , we never intend to ask unconverted persons of rank or wealthto countenance this Institution, because this, we consider, would bedishonourable to the Lord. In the name of our God we set up our banners, Ps. Xx. 5; He alone shall be our Patron, and if He helps us we shallprosper, and if He is not on our side, we shall not succeed. 

3. We do not mean, to ask unbelievers for money (2 Cor. Vi. 14-18);though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions, if they, of their own accord should offer them. Acts xxviii. 2-10. 

4. We reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carryingon the affairs of the Institution. 2 Cor, vi. 14-18. 

5. We intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts(Rom. Xiii. 8), and afterwards appealing to the Church of Christ for help, because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spiritof the New Testament; but in secret prayer, God helping us, we shall carrythe wants of the Institution to the Lord, and act according to the meansthat God shall give. 

6. We do not mean to reckon the success of the Institution by the amountof money given, or the number of Bibles distributed, &c, but by the Lord'sblessing upon the work (Zech. Iv. 6); and we expect this, in theproportion in which He shall help us to wait upon Him in prayer. 

7. While we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire togo on simply according to Scripture, without compromising the truth; atthe same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experiencedBelievers, after prayer, upon Scriptural ground, may have to give usconcerning the Institution. 

II. THE OBJECTS OF THE INSTITUTION ARE:

1. To assist Day-Schools, Sunday-Schools, and Adult-Schools, in whichinstruction is given upon Scriptural principles, and, as far as the Lordmay give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in otherrespects make our path plain, to establish Schools of this kind. 

a. By Day-Schools upon Scriptural principles, we understand Day Schoolsin which the teachers are godly persons, --in which the way of salvation isscripturally pointed out, --and in which no instruction is given opposed tothe principles of the gospel. 

b. Sunday-Schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in whichthe Holy Scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction, --are suchonly as the Institution assists with the supply of Bibles, Testaments, &c. ; for we consider it unscriptural, that any persons, who do not professto know the Lord themselves, should be allowed to give religiousinstruction. 

c. The Institution does not assist any Adult-Schools with the supply ofBibles, Testaments, Spelling Books, &c. , except the teachers are believers. 

2. To circulate the Holy Scriptures. 

We sell Bibles and Testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. Butwhile we, in general, think it better that the Scriptures should be sold, and not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, wethink it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition. 

3. The third object of this Institution is, to aid Missionary efforts. 

We desire to assist those Missionaries whose proceedings appear to bemost according to the Scriptures. It is proposed to give such a portion ofthe amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as theLord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particularassistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so, that if anydonor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shallbe appropriated accordingly. 

March 7. Today we have only one shilling left. Many times also in Bristolour purse has been either empty or nearly so, though we have not beenbrought quite so low as it regards provisions, as was sometimes the caseat Teignmouth. This evening, when we came home from our work, we found abrother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothesboth for brother Craik and me, which a brother, whose name was not to bementioned, had ordered for us. March 8. Our brother brought us thisevening also, from the same friend, a new hat for each of us. 

March 10. Some time since, a brother who had been brought to theknowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality, having been previouslyguilty of habitual drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tearsour prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself formerly, was stillgiven to drinking, and who grew worse and worse. About ten days, after hehad spoken to us, it pleased God to begin a work of grace in her heart, inanswer to the many prayers of her husband, and this evening she was addedto us in fellowship. There have come many instances before us, since wehave been in Bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given tobelieving ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such as hadthreatened to murder their wives, or leave them, they would still continueto go to our chapels. 

March 19. This afternoon at five, my wife was in much pain, which sheshortly afterwards considered as the token of her hour being near. Itherefore set off to call in a sister, and then I went for the nurse, andmy wife's sister, and our servant, who were at Clifton. The Lord havinggraciously speeded all this, I went to Bethesda Chapel, where I had topreach shortly after. I thought it better to spend the few minutes, whichI had before preaching, in prayer for my wife, than to return home again, as I should have had to set off directly afterwards, believing that mymind would be thus more quiet and calm, and that I also might thus help mydearest wife much more effectually. The Lord most graciously kept me fromexcitement and anxiety, so that I went in peace, preached in peace, andwalked home in peace, looking up to Jesus to prepare me for all that mightawait me, as I remembered but too well the two former times of my wife'sconfinement. I might have asked brother Craik to preach, and have gonehome; but I thought it more honouring the Lord to do His work. In walkinghome, the following words were a particular refreshment to me:--

Make you His service your delight, Your wants shall be His care. 

When I came home, I heard the joyful news, that all was over, and that mydear Mary had been delivered at twenty minutes past eight of a little boy. Observe! 1. The Lord graciously sent the medical attendant and the nurse(the latter nearly three miles off), in the right time. 2. The Lord put itinto my heart to honour Him, by preferring the care of His house to thatof my own, and thus He lovingly spared me three painful hours. May He bepleased to give me grace more than ever to love and serve Him!

March 31. Today the brethren and sisters in communion at Bethesda dinedtogether, having been invited by a sister; and in the evening the churchesof Gideon and Bethesda took tea together. Both times were refreshingseasons. At dinner we were together from one till half past three, at teafrom five to nine. Both times we prayed repeatedly, sang hymns, read alittle of the Word, and several brethren spoke of the Lord's dealings withthem. 

April 3. Today I have had again much reason to see how weak I am, and howprone to give way to every sin if I am not kept by God. May He have mercyupon me, and keep me from bringing an open disgrace upon His holy name! Owretched man that I am!!

April 14. Brother and sister Craik and ourselves have been livingtogether hitherto; but now, as the Lord has given to them one child, andto us two, and there are but six rooms in our house, so that of late dearbrother Craik and I have had repeatedly to go to another house to beuninterrupted: we came at last to the conclusion, that it would be betterfor our souls and the Lord's work that we should separate. April 15. TodayI received from several sisters 25l. Towards furnishing a house. 

April 23. Yesterday and today I had asked the Lord to send us 20l. , thatwe might be able to procure a larger stock of Bibles and Testaments thanour small funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution would allow us topurchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us thatsum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the HolyScriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringingher to the knowledge of the Lord. 

April 26. We have repeatedly conversed about the name which we shouldgive to our babe; but, being unsettled about it, and considering that inall our ways we ought to acknowledge the Lord, I gave myself today toprayer concerning this matter, and the name Elijah, about which I neverhad thought, was particularly, whilst praying, impressed on my mind, andtherefore we intend to name the child Elijah, i. E. , my God is Jah, Jehovah. May the Lord in mercy grant Elijah's spirit and Elijah's blessingto our little one!

May 4. Today 15l. More was given to me towards furnishing a house. Thusthe Lord has now graciously supplied our need in this particular also. May13. Today 2l. More was given to us towards furnishing the house, and alsosome carpet. May 15. Today we moved into our house, having lived nearlytwo years with brother and sister Craik. 

June 4. Today a sister called on me, and I felt irritated at her staying, after having given her to understand that I had but a few minutes time. Isinned thus against the Lord. Help Thou me, blessed Jesus, in future!

June 8. Lord's day. I obtained no text yesterday, notwithstandingrepeated prayer and reading of the Word. This morning I awoke with thesewords:--"My grace is sufficient for thee. " As soon as I had dressedmyself, I turned to 2 Cor. Xii. To consider this passage; but in doing so, after prayer, I was led to think that I had not been directed to thisportion for the sake of speaking on it as I at first thought, and Itherefore followed my usual practice in such cases, i. E. , to read on inthe Scriptures where I left off last evening. In doing so, when I came toHeb. Xi. 13-16, I felt that this was the text. Having prayed, I wasconfirmed in it, and in a few minutes the Lord was pleased to open thispassage to me. I preached on it with great enjoyment, both at Gideon andat Bethesda, particularly in the evening at Bethesda. This help wasevidently from God. May He fill my heart with gratitude, and encourage meby this, to trust in Him for the future! I now understand why thosewords, "My grace is sufficient for thee, " were brought to my mind when Iawoke this morning. --[It pleased God, as I have heard since, greatly tobless what I said on that passage, and at least one soul was broughtthrough it to the Lord. ]

June 25. These last three days I have had very little real communion withGod, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several timesfelt irritability of temper. May God in mercy help me to have more secretprayer!--Let none expect to have the mastery over his inward corruption inany degree, without going in his weakness again and again to the Lord forstrength. Nor will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren, make up for secret prayer; for I had been engaged in both repeatedly, during the three previous days, as my journal shows. 

June 26. I was enabled, by the grace of God, to rise early, and I hadnearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. I feel now this morning morecomfortable. May God in mercy help me to walk before Him this day, and todo His work; and may He keep me from all evil!

July 5. The Lord very mercifully kept us today from a great calamity, theapron of our Christian servant having caught fire; but the fire wasextinguished, and she was kept from being burned!

July 11. I have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to beestablished in connexion with our little Institution. Eight have appliedfor the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lordhas given us a brother, who will commence the work. The Lord allowed us tocall upon Him many times before He answered, but at last He granted ourrequest. 

July 13. Today we finished reading through the Scriptures, at familyprayer, the second time since we came to Bristol, which is little morethan two years. I mention this circumstance to show how often we may readthrough the whole of the Scriptures, though we should read but littleevery day, if we go regularly onward. 

August 18. Today brother Craik and I engaged a sister to be governess ofanother girls' school, which we intend to establish, in dependence uponthe Lord for supplies. August 27. I had prayed repeatedly, and had readten chapters of the Word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to gothis evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of His HolyWord the Lord would have me to speak. At the commencement of the meeting Iwas directed to Lament. Iii. 22-26, on which I spoke with much assistanceand enjoyment. 

September 18. A brother, a tailor, was sent to measure me for newclothes. My clothes are again getting old, and it is therefore very kindof the Lord to provide thus. September 25. A brother sent me a new hattoday. 

October 9. Our little institution, established in dependence upon theLord, and supplied by Him with means, has now been seven months inoperation, and through it have been benefited with instruction, --1. In theSunday-School, about 120 children. 2. In the Adult-School, about 40Adults. 3. In the two Day-Schools for boys and, the two Day-Schools forgirls, 209 children, of whom 54 have been entirely free; the others payabout one-third of the expense. There have been also circulated 482Bibles, and 520 New Testaments. Lastly, 57l. Has been spent to aidmissionary exertions. The means which the Lord has sent us, as the fruitof many prayers, during these seven months, amount to 167l. 10s. 0 1/2d. 

October 28. This afternoon brother Craik and I took tea with sevenbrethren and sisters, whom the Lord has brought to a knowledge of Himselfthrough our instrumentality, within the last two years; all but onebelonging to the same family. We heard there a most affecting account of apoor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, andwho seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a realconcern about his soul, through what I said concerning the torments ofhell, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out ofBristol. He has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend ourschool and ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to dosomething also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, thepressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from ourschool!

November 1. Today, our means being completely gone, we had them suppliedin the following manner:--some time since some silver spoons were givento us, which we never used, from the consideration, that for servants ofChrist it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, andfor that reason we had sold our plate at Teignmouth. Yet up to this daythose spoons remained unsold. But now, as we wanted money, we disposed ofthem, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doingso to supply our need. 

November 4. I spent the greater part of the morning in reading the Wordand in prayer, and asked also for our daily bread, for we have scarcelyany money left. --We obtained today two large school-rooms, which we muchneeded. Thus the Lord graciously helps us concerning the Institution, andgives us faith to go forward in the work, enlarging the field more andmore (though we have but little money), yet so that we do not contractdebts. 

November 5. I spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading theWord. I prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, butthe Lord has not as yet appeared. Still my eyes are up to Him. November 8. Saturday. The Lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants duringthis week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. I haveprayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as Iremember, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not answered ourprayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has suppliedus through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what wasawed to us. 

December 10. Today we found that a departed brother had left both tobrother Craik and me 12l. December 31, 1834. --I. Since brother Craik and Ihave been labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been addedto us in fellowship. We found 68 believers in the church at Gideon, sothat now the whole number would be 295, had there been no changes, but itis only 257; for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left Bristol; twelvehave left the churches during the two years and six months, but are stillin Bristol; eight are under church discipline, respecting some of whom, however, we hope that they maybe soon restored to communion. Of those 257, there belong 125 to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church. Out of the227 who have been added to us, 103 have been converted through ourinstrumentality, and many have been brought into the liberty of theGospel, or reclaimed from backsliding. Forty-seven young converts are atGideon, and fifty-six at Bethesda. Considering that some have fallenasleep who never were in communion with us, and yet converted through ourinstrumentality; and that some are united to other churches in and out ofBristol; and that many are now standing as candidates for fellowship, ofthose who have been given to us in this city, as seals to our ministry;the number added may be only one-half, or two-thirds of the real number. May the Lord fill our hearts with gratitude, for having thus condescendedto use us! II. The income which the Lord has given me duringthis year is:--

1. My part of the freewill offerings through the boxes £135 13s. 2 1/4d. 

2. Money given to me by saints in and out of Bristol £92 7s. 6d. 

Altogether. . . £228 0s. 8 1/4d. 

3. Besides this, many articles in provisions, clothing, and furniture, worth to us about £60 0s. 0d. 

January 1, 1835. We had last evening an especial prayer-meeting of thetwo churches, and any other persons hat chose to attend, for the sake ofpraising the Lord for all His many mercies which we have received duringthe past year, and to ask Him to continue to us His favour during thisyear also. It was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they feltdisposed, and eighteen did so, as I afterwards reckoned. We continued inprayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the Word, and exhortation, from seven in the evening till one in the morning. January 13. From tentill one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eightthis evening, I visited, from house to house, the people living in OrangeStreet, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, toascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether they could read, whether they wished their children to be put to our Day-Schools orSunday-School, with the view of helping them accordingly. This affordedopportunities to converse with them about their souls. In this way I soldeight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices, and gave away oneTestament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar, one boy as a dayscholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about theirsouls. --January 15. This morning, from ten till one, I went again fromhouse to house in Orange Street. I visited nine houses, sold a Bible andTestament at reduced prices, and engaged, a few children for theschools, and conversed with fifteen persons about their souls. Ishould greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for itis a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, thatwe can do but little in this way. --January 17. Today brotherGroves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his coming toEngland is, to go to Germany to obtain missionary brethren for theEast Indies, having reason to believe that he will find them there; andhe asked me, on account of my acquaintance with the language, toaccompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge aboutthe state of the brethren, and to communicate to them whathe thinks needful for them to know. This is a mostimportant work. May the Lord direct me in this matter, and make meto act according to His will!--I received again today, after prayerrespecting the funds, 10l. For the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution. --January 21. Received, in answer to prayer, from anunexpected quarter, 5l. For the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The Lord pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. For during the pastweek, merely among the poor, in going from house to house, fifty-eightcopies of the Scriptures were sold at reduced prices, the going onwith which is most important, but it will require much means. 

January 28. I have, for these several days, again prayed much toascertain whether the Lord will have me to go as a missionary to the EastIndies, and I am most willing to go, if He will condescend to use me inthis way. January 29. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about goingto Calcutta as a missionary. May the Lord guide me in this matter! [Afterall my repeated and earnest prayer in the commencement of 1835, andwillingness on my part to go, if it were the Lord's will, still He did notsend me. ]

February 4. I have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of laterespecting my journey to the Continent. I desire to go, or not to go, justas the Lord will have it to be. May He graciously direct me! I feel thesame about going to India. As a means to ascertain the Lord's will, I havebeen reading about the Hindoos, that I may know more clearly the state inwhich they are. May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about theirstate, whether it be His will that I should labour personally among them, or not!

February 16. I mentioned this evening, before the church at Bethesda, asalso on the 13th before the church at Gideon, that I see it the Lord'swill to go to the Continent, for the sake of assisting brother Groves bymy knowledge of the German language, in conferring with those who maydesire to go out as missionaries. There is not one believer amongst us whosees any objection to it, and several have expressed that it seems to beof the Lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forthof missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as the Lord confirms mestill more, through this unanimity, in its being His will that I should go. 

February 25. In the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon Him alonefor support, we have established a fifth Day-School for poor children, which today has been opened. We have now two boys' schools, and threegirls' schools. February 26. This afternoon I left Bristol for theContinent. 

February 27. London. This morning I went to the Alien Office for mypassport. On entering the office I saw a printed paper, in which it isstated that every alien neglecting to renew, every six months, hiscertificate of residence which he receives on depositing his passport, subjects himself to a penalty of £50, or imprisonment. This law I haveignorantly broken ever since I left London in 1829. It appeared to me muchbetter to confess at once that I had ignorantly done so, than nowwillfully break it; trusting in the Lord as it regarded the consequencesof the step. I did so, and the Lord inclined the heart of the officer withwhom I had to do, to pass over my noncompliance with the law, on accountof my having broken it ignorantly. Having obtained my passport, I found anunexpected difficulty in the Prussian ambassador refusing to sign it, asit did not contain a description of my person, and therefore I needed toprove that I was the individual spoken of in the passport. This difficultywas not removed for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through apaper signed by same citizens of London, to whom I am known, theambassador was satisfied. This very difficulty, when once the Lord hadremoved it, afforded me cause for thanksgiving; for I now obtained a newpassport, worded in such a way, that, should I ever need it again, willprevent similar difficulties. 

March 3. This evening I preached comfortably in Johnstreet Chapel, forBrother Evans. I never preached in any place where I so much felt that hewho statedly ministers was more worthy than myself. This feeling led me toearnest prayer, and the Lord heard and assisted me. 

March 7. Dover. Last evening I left London, and arrived here thismorning. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before my fellow-passengers. Ihave had a good deal of prayer and reading the Word in quietness, thoughstaying in an hotel. --March 8. I preached this morning and eveningcomfortably in one of the chapels at Dover. March 9. All this day too wehave been obliged to remain at Dover, the sea being so rough that nopacket sails. I spent the day in writing letters, in reading the Word, andin prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as it regards our movements. This evening we asked the Lord twice, unitedly, that He would be pleasedto calm the wind and the waves, and I now feel quite comfortable inleaving the matter with Him!

March 10. The Lord heard our prayer. We awake early in the morning, andfound the wind comparatively calm. We left the hotel before break of day, to go to the packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea, I was separated from brothers G. And Y. I now lifted up my heart to theLord, as He generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my stepstowards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it almostimmediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good passage. At Calais weobtained our passports, luggage out of the custom house, and places in thediligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morningfor Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have aFather to go to for help! What a different thing, also, to travel in theservice of the Lord Jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of theflesh!

March 11. Paris. We arrived here about ten this evening. March 12. Todaywe went about our passports, and I saw thus a good deal of the best partof Paris. Blessed be God, my heart is above these things! If ten yearsago, when my poor foolish heart was full of Paris, I had come here, howshould I have been taken up with these palaces, &c. ; but now I look atthese things, and my heart does not care about them, What a differencegrace makes! There were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond oftraveling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than myself; but now, since, by the grace of God, I have seen beauty in the Lord Jesus, I havelost my taste for these things. 

March 13. We again found difficulty in obtaining our passports, arising, probably, from a mistake of the police officers. May the Lord order thismatter so, that it shall be for our real welfare!--March 14. By the helpof the Lord we obtained our passports, and brother Groves and I took ourplaces in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to leave tomorrow evening. Brother Y. Intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health. 

March 15. This morning I preached in a little chapel in Palais Royal. Weleft Paris this evening at six. --March 17. From six o'clock in the eveningof the 15th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived atStrasburg, We were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with theexception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven, when we were allowed half an hour for our meals. I had refreshingcommunion with my beloved brother. This quickest of all conveyances inFrance carries only two passengers, and we were thus able freely toconverse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed. Though we hadtraveled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business atStrasburg, we left this evening for Basle, trusting in the Lord forstrength for the third night's traveling. A little after we had started, we stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and we weresoon delivered, otherwise the circumstance, in a cold night, and during afall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. Inow found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-passengers whospoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for Christ. 

March 18. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where we were very kindlyreceived by the brethren. --March 23. Basle. These six days we have receivedgreat kindness from the brethren. The Lord has given me an opportunity ofbringing before several who are already engaged in the ministry of theWord, and before many who intend to give themselves to this work, manyimportant truths, so that in these opportunities I have been richly repaidfor the journey. This morning I conversed also with three brethren, journeymen, who have a desire to give themselves to missionary work; butnothing could be decided now. I awake very faint, but have been mercifullyhelped through the work. Brother Groves intends to go to Geneva, and I toTubingen, in order to become acquainted with a brother, a student, who islikely to go out with Brother Groves as a tutor to his sons, and tocombine with this, missionary service. 

During my stay at Basle I attended one day a meeting at which a venerablepious clergyman expounded the Greek New Testament to several brethren, whopurposed to give themselves to missionary service. The passage to whichthis dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the NewTestament, was 1 Peter iii. 1, 2, which, in our English translation, readsthus: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, ifany obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by theconversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversationcoupled with fear. " After this aged brother had expounded the passage, herelated a circumstance which had occurred in his own days, and under hisown eyes, at Basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for thosechildren of God who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sistersin the Lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time, issuch a beautiful illustration of 1 Peter iii, 1. ; that I judge itdesirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. I will do so asexactly as I remember it. There lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whosewife was a believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice was, to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry tilleleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such occasions his wife alwaysused to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself; to await the returnof her husband. When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly, never reproach him in the least, either at the time or afterwards, norcomplain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept fromseasonable rest. Moreover, if it should be needful to assist him inundressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also ina very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long time. One evening, this gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarriedthere with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: "I bet, that if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waitingfor me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly;and if I ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once withoutthe least murmur, or unkind expression, or look. " His companions in sindid not believe his statement. At last, however, after some moreconversation about this strange statement, (as it appeared to them, ) itwas agreed that they would all go, to see this kind wife. Accordingly theywent, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened bythe lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received byher. The party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife toprepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed todo; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself; without the leastsign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having now prepared allfor the company, she retired from the party to her room. When she had leftthe party, one of the gentlemen said: "What a wicked and cruel man youare, thus to torment so kind a wife. " He then took his hat and stick, and, without touching a morsel of the supper, went away. Another made a similarremark, and left, without touching the supper. Thus one after anotherleft, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper. The master ofthe house was now left alone, and the Spirit of God brought before him allhis dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife;and the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to hiswife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himselfa great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towardsher. From that time he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus. 

Observe here, dear reader, the following points in particular, which Iaffectionately commend to your consideration: 1, The wife acted inaccordance with 1 Peter iii. 1. She kept her place as being in subjection, and the Lord owned it. 2, She reproached not her husband, but meekly andkindly served him when he used to come home. 3, She did not allow theservants to sit up for their master, but sat up herself; thus honouringhim as her head and superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able, her husband's shame from the servants. 4, In all probability a part ofthose hours, during which she had to sit up, was spent in prayer for herhusband, or in reading the word of God, to gather fresh strength for allthe trials connected with her position. But whether this was the case ornot, it is certain that thus, under similar circumstances, the time mightbe spent, and it would then indeed be spent profitably. 5, Be notdiscouraged if you have to suffer from unconverted relatives. Perhaps veryshortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer yourprayer for them; but in the meantime seek to commend the truth, not byreproaching them on account of their behaviour towards you, but bymanifesting towards them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of theLord Jesus Christ. 

March 25. Tubingen in Wirtemberg. The day before yesterday I left Baslein the afternoon. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before a young manand his wife, who were going to Vienna to increase their riches. What amercy that grace has made me to differ, and that I travel the service ofanother master! They listened very attentively, and were not at allopposed. They also esteem the people of God, and have been in the habit ofmeeting with them. Our parting was very affectionate and solemn, after Ihad charged them to care earnestly about the one thing needful. 

I arrived, yesterday morning at six, at Schaffhausen. I found a brotherwaiting for me at the post office, a gentleman of title, who, having beeninformed by brethren at Basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his housefor the two hours I had to stay in that town, to refresh my body withbreakfast, and my soul with communion with the brethren whom he hadinvited to meet me. I was in this town about ten years ago. I was nowagain within a short distance of the fall of the Rhine, which was thenmost attractive to me. Now I considered that my time could be spent muchmore profitably than by going there. The little time that I was atSchaffhausen, I received much information concerning the state of thechurch in many parts of the Continent, from a believing physician and aclergyman; and I also communicated things which, with God's blessing, maybe profitable. After this I continued my journey to Tubingen. It was withpeculiar feelings; for all this way I had traversed nearly ten years ago, to gratify my natural desire for travelling, and now I went over the sameground in the service of the Lord Jesus. 

I arrived here this morning at nine, having been strengthened to traveltwo nights and a day and a half, though I left Basle very weak. Thismorning I saw brother Gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account Iam here, and spent about three hours in conversation with him. AfterwardsI called on a Christian professor in the university, who received mekindly. This evening I had a meeting with the believing students, for whomthe Lord gave me a word. 

March 26. This morning I drove with brother Gundert to Stuttgart, bothfor the sake of seeing more of him, and also that we might unitedly talkover the matter with his father, who lives there. I am now staying at thehouse of brother Gundert senior, where I am kindly lodged. I think brotherGundert junior, will go to the East Indies. His father is not only willingto give him up for the Lord's sake, but seems to consider it an honour tohave a son to give to the Lord in this way. This evening I again metseveral brethren, to whom I spoke about the things of God. 

March 30. Halle. From the evening of the 27th till this afternoon, when Iarrived here, I have traveled day and night, and have been strengthened bythe Lord for it. The whole of this way, several hundred miles, I had gonestep by step before. My thoughts were peculiarly affecting, as I retracedthe mercies which I had experienced at the hands of God. --The Lord enabledme repeatedly to confess His name before my changing fellow-travelers. Astudent spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap wine of Weinheim, near Heidelberg. I told him that when, years ago, as a student likehimself, I came through that place, I cared about such things, but thatnow I knew what was much better than wine. --Yesterday a Frenchman, havingheard my testimony for Jesus once or twice, when the last merry companionhad left the coach, quitted my society, it being too dull for him, andjoined himself to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of thecoach. (The coach was divided into the forepart and inside. ) This gave mea blessed and most refreshing opportunity to pray for about an hour aloudin the coach, which strengthened and refreshed my soul. It wasparticularly kind of the Lord to give me an opportunity of praying aloud, as, on account of having then already traveled forty-eight hoursuninterruptedly, my body was too tired to allow me to continue for anylength of time in mental prayer. --Yesterday afternoon, at Eisenach(situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed castle calledthe Wartburg, where Luther translated the Holy Scriptures), I saw fearfulscenes of profanity. How has the candlestick been removed!--This afternoonI reached Halle, where it pleased the Lord to bring me to the knowledge ofHimself, having been graciously preserved hitherto, though a spring wasfound broken when I got out of the mail. I greatly needed rest, but myheart was too full. I could not sleep. I went first to the house of thebrother, where I was first impressed, and afterwards I called on myesteemed tutor, professor Dr. Tholuck, counsellor of the Consistory, whoreceived me, after seven years' separation, with his former kindness andbrotherly love. (He made me lodge with him, and gave thereby a testimonythat differences of views, concerning certain parts of God's truth, oughtnot to separate the children of God; for I had written to him my mind fromBristol two years before. )

March 31. Today I rode with Dr. Tholuck and two young brethren to abelieving clergyman, living in the neighbourhood of Halle, where we spentthe day. Dr. Tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly this, that several of my former fellow-students, who, at the time when I was atHalle, knew not the Lord, had been brought to know Him since, and are nowlabouring in His vineyard. And further, that certain brethren, formerlyvery weak in the faith, had been established, and are now going on well. May this encourage the heart of the believing reader still to pray for hisunconverted friends, and may it strengthen him to hope for better daysconcerning those of his brethren in the Lord who are now weak in the faith!

April 1. Today I saw a clergyman, in whom I recognized an individual whostudied at Halle, whilst I was there, living then in open sin, and who isnow, by divine mercy, pointing sinners to the Lamb of God. In the eveningI went to the large Orphan-house, built, in dependence on the Lord, by A. H. Franke, to see one of the classical teachers, who is the son of myfather's neighbour, and whom I had not seen for about fifteen years. Ifound him, to the joy of my heart, to be a brother in the Lord. Thisevening I spent in the same room where it pleased the Lord to begin a workof grace in my heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters withwhom I used to meet seven years ago, and told them of the Lord'sfaithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbearance towards me, since Ihad seen them last. Truly how good has the Lord been to me since!

April 2. This morning I again spent in calling on the brethren andsisters, being enabled, every where, before learned and unlearned, totestify about the blessedness of adhering to the Scriptures as our onlyguide in spiritual things. I left Halle this afternoon, having receivedmuch love from the brethren, and drove fifteen miles further, to a belovedbrother and old friend, brother Stahlschmidt at Sandersleben, who hasshown me much kindness even since I have been in England. I was receivedwith much love by this brother and his dear wife, and his man servant, also a beloved brother. [This brother (the man servant) I met fifty-fouryears ago at Gnadau, a Moravian settlement, where I several times spent afew days for the refreshment of my soul, to which place he also came, adistance of about forty-five miles, for the same purpose. He was thenliving with a farmer, ploughing his fields, &c. At that time our heartswere knit together; for I wish it to be understood by any unconvertedreader, that, whilst I should at one time have looked with scorn upon sucha person, if he had attempted to be familiar with me, now the love ofJesus, in whom we were one, filled my heart with love to him, and theseoutward distinctions were broken down. In consequence of thisacquaintance, he wrote me several letters to Halle, and I wrote to him. Those letters were particularly refreshing and spiritual, and therefore Iread them to other brethren, and also to brother Stahlschmidt, a winemerchant. On account of this, he had a great desire to have brother Krollliving in his house. The Lord, after a time, brought it about, and thisbrother lived with him above forty years, and was a friend, a brother, anda most faithful servant to this merchant, so that his considerablebusiness was in a great measure intrusted to him; and yet he treated hismaster with all due respect, and kept his place as a servant. This latterpoint is very important, and brings glory to God. For whilst a believingmaster should treat a believing servant with all kindness and brotherlylove; yet the believing servant should with all obedience, with allfaithfulness, and particularly with due respect, treat his believingmaster or mistress. ]

April 3. Sandersleben. Today I saw several brethren and sisters, andamong others a brother, who is in about the same state in which he waseight years ago. He has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress inthe things of God. The reason is, that, against his conscience, he remainsin a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. We areexhorted in Scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide init "with God. " 1 Cor. Vii. 24. --This evening a believing clergyman, and thebrethren and sisters of this small town and some neighbouring villages, were collected together in brother Stahlschmidt's house, and I spoke tothem for two hours about the things of God, particularly about the way inwhich God has led me, since I saw them, and sought to strengthen theirhands in God, and exhorted them to give themselves fully to the Lord. Itwas a time of refreshing. Indeed, the Lord has greatly refreshed my ownsoul, at Basle, Tubingen, Stuttgart, Halle, and elsewhere, whenever I havespoken well of His name. The child of God should make it his particularbusiness to encourage sinners to seek after the Lord, and to increase thefaith and love of the brethren, through speaking well of the name of theLord. 

April 4. I left Sandersleben this morning. My brother and host actedaccording to 3 John, 5 and 6; for he sent me on ten miles in his carriage. 

When I arrived at Aschersleben, to which place brother Stahlschmidt hadconveyed me, I had but one station more to my father's house. On the way Iasked the driver about a certain individual, with whom I studied at Halle, once a companion with me in open sin. I found that he is still in the samestate. What a difference has grace made between him and me! Nothing, nothing but grace has made this difference! I, guilty sinner, might now bestill on the same road, and he, in my room, might have been plucked as abrand out of the fire. But it is not so. May the Lord help me to love himmuch, very much, for His distinguishing grace!--Such feelings I had inparticular this afternoon, when I saw the town before me in which myfather lives, as there are but two in the whole place, as far as I canfind out, who love the Lord. How different is everything with me now fromwhat it was when, as a wicked youth, I used to go to this town, at thetime of my vacation. How truly happy am I now! How is my heart now raisedabove all those things in which I sought, and also fancied I foundhappiness! Truly all these things are like bubbles to me now! My heart isnot here; yea, my heart is not even in England. My heart is, at least in ameasure, in heaven, though I am still nothing but a poor weak worm. I feltthe solemnity and importance of having once more the privilege of seeingmy aged father. I also felt the importance of being at the place, where Ihad spent much of my time in my youth, and where I had been known asliving in sin. My desire was, that I might be enabled to walk, the threedays I intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of Christ. For thisI had been led to prayer before I left Bristol, and since I have been onthe Continent. At last I arrived at my father's house. How affecting tomeet him once more!

April 5. Heimersleben. This afternoon a friend of my father called-onewho knows not the Lord. After a few minutes the Lord gave me anopportunity of setting before him the fundamental truths of the Gospel, and the joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me. Thus a waywas opened to me of stating the truth more fully than ever I had been ableto do before, by word of mouth, in the presence of my father and brother, without saying to them, "Thou art the man. " I was assisted by the Lord. May He water the seed sown! This evening I went to the only two brethrenin this little town, thus to own them as such. It has appeared well to meto call on none whom I know, else I should be expected to call on all; andas I see it right to spend but three days here, I consider that thatlittle time should be wholly given to my father, as it may be the lasttime that I shall see him; yet, at the same time, I judged that it waswell pleasing in the sight of the Lord, that I should call on thesebrethren to strengthen their hands. 

When I saw these brethren last, in February, 1829, two or three more usedto meet with them; but since then the reproach of the cross has driven theothers back into the world. From that time, these brethren have scarcelyseen a believer, and never hear the Gospel preached; it was therefore agreat joy to them to see me. They told me that the Lord had blessed mylast visit to them; and having been informed of my coming, they wereprepared to ask me many questions. One of them, Knabe, about thirty yearsago being possessed of property, was persuaded to lay it out in coalmines. He joined with two men who spent his property, and after some timethey became bankrupts, so that there was not money enough to pay theworkmen and some other creditors, even after all their goods had beensold. This evening brother Knabe asked me what he ought to do about themoney which had been left unpaid three and twenty years; whether he wasstill under an obligation to pay it, if he could. My answer was at oncethat he was, being in the sight of the Lord still a debtor, though clearedby the laws of men. He then told me, that some years since some propertywas left to him, and that he also, in the years 1816, 1817, and 1818, whenthe corn prices were very high, had laid by some money, and that thereforehe was fully able to pay the debt. He saw immediately that this was theright way, and said that he would act accordingly. He added that now hesaw why he had made so little progress in divine things. I have learnedthat this brother has lately taken two destitute orphans into his house, whom he entirely supports by the labour of his hands (he earns his breadby thrashing corn), and that the people, though they consider him, onaccount of his love for the Lord, a weak and foolish person, yet look uponhim with respect. 

April 6. I spent this morning in answering questions which my father putto me about secular things in England. This I did for the followingreasons:--1. I had scarcely ever spoken about these things in my letters, indeed so little, that my father told me, he had often intended to ask mewhether it was forbidden in England to send letters abroad about suchmatters, as I never wrote about them. I had refrained from doing so, partly, on account of want of time; and, partly, because I had betterthings to write about, wishing to direct his mind to the things of God. 2. Now, however, I spoke on these subjects, because I particularly desired tobe as kind, affectionate, and obliging as I conscientiously could, considering that this was the testimony I was especially called on togive. Formerly I had much pressed the things of God on him, and not withsufficient tenderness, knowing not then experimentally the helplessness ofthe creature. After it had pleased the Lord to show me the truth moreclearly, in the summer of 1829, I wrote in a different way; but in thecommencement of the year 1833 I felt pressed in spirit once more, mostfully, not so much as a son, but as a servant of Christ, to write, and topoint out to him minutely his state, showing him the danger of his soul, the grounds of which I fully laid before him. When this, as formerly, greatly displeased him, I ceased to speak any more in this way, and fromthat time I aimed and still aim more and more to show him love in action, as it becomes a believing son, telling him only how happy I am--how I amsupported under such and such trials--how I am not caring about certainthings as formerly I did--in what an awful state I was once living, and howGod brought me out of it; and how any sinner, by forsaking his evil ways, and believing on the Lord Jesus, may be brought to the same joy andhappiness, and what a delight it would be to me to meet my father at lastin heaven, &c. Since I have corresponded with him in this way, things havebeen very comfortable, though I have brought as much truth before him asformerly, and though I have never sent a letter without speaking, comparatively, much about these things. On the same ground I have not onthis visit spoken directly to my father about the state of his soul, though he has more than ever heard the truth from my lips. God has indeedbeen with me, and I believe that I have been led by Him to pursue thiscourse. Different, however, has been the way in which I have dealt with myunconverted brother; for the relationship in which I stand to him is adifferent one. For this afternoon, I not only pointed out to him hisdanger, but spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in myletters, and intend to do so still, if the Lord permit. 

This afternoon brother Knabe called on me. He told me that he had alreadyexperienced a trial on account of his intention to pay the money, as hiswife tried to keep him from it, by endeavouring to persuade him that Goddoes not require him to do such a thing, as he has taken two orphanchildren into his house. He nevertheless is determined to do it. He saw, however, another difficulty, which was, that, when he looked over thepapers containing the names of his creditors, it was found that all butthree, out of about thirty, were dead, and he did not know what to doconcerning them. I told him to go to those places where his creditors usedto live, and he might find, perhaps, some needy widows and fatherlesschildren, whom they had left behind; and, if not, he should inquire afterthe lawful heirs, and pay the money to them. He saw with me, and declaredhis full intention to do so, whatever it might cost, and seemed truly gladthat God at last, through my advice, had delivered him from this burden;for from time to time the matter had pressed on his conscience that heought to do it. --I spent this evening in relating to my father and brothersome of the Lord's dealings with me in England, particularly how He hasgraciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to prayer, and theyboth seemed to feel, for the moment at least the blessedness ofsuch a life. 

April 7. I saw brother Knabe this morning, who is still determined to paythe money, though tried by his wife. I exhorted him to steadfastness. Ialso saw some persons who called on me to hear about England, for everyone of whom the Lord gave me a word without any effort. It was especiallyso last night. A friend of my father, a Roman Catholic, called, and I wasenabled to set the truths of the gospel before him, with their blessedeffects, without entering upon the Roman Catholic controversy. --A part ofthis morning I spent in walking about with my father to see one of hisgardens, and some of his fields, because I knew it would give himpleasure; and I felt that I ought in every way to show him kindness andattention, as far as I conscientiously could. Tomorrow, God willing, Iintend to leave, and to return to England. The Lord, in His rich mercy, inanswer to my prayer, has enabled me so to walk before my father, and hasalso impressed what I have said so far upon his heart, as to cause him tosay today, "May God help me to follow your example, and to act accordingto what you have said to me. "

April 9. Celle. Yesterday morning I drove with my father to Halberstadt, where, with many tears, he separated from me. I was alone in the mail, which was a great comfort to me. It was a solemn time. I found myselfagain on the road to Brunswick, which I had traversed twice in the serviceof the devil, and now I was traveling on it in the name of Jesus. Idiscerned, in passing, the inn at Wolfenbuttel, from whence I intended torun away, and where I was arrested. How peculiar were my feelings! In theevening we reached Brunswick, from whence we started the same night. During the night I heard a fearfully wicked, most profligate, infidel, andscoffing conversation between the conducteur and a student, and the onlytestimony I gave was, complete silence all the time. I arrived here thismorning at eight, and have been here all the morning, as the mail will notstart for Hamburg until four this afternoon. It has been far from wellwith me in my soul today. That awful conversation last night has beenspiritual poison to me. How's very soon do we, even unconsciously, receiveevil!

April 10. Hamburg. I arrived here at ten this morning. --April 11. I wenton board last night, and at twelve we sailed. This morning at half-pasteleven we arrived at Cuxhaven, where we cast anchor, on account of astrong contrary wind. --April 13. Though I desired as much, perhaps, as anyof the passengers speedily to get to the end of our voyage, longing to getback again to my work in Bristol, and also to my wife and children, yet Iwas kept in peace; and whilst some murmured at the contrary wind, the Lordenabled me to lift up my heart in prayer that He would calm it, if it wereHis holy will, and, accordingly, after a delay of about nineteen hours, weplied again yesterday morning, at seven. At ten I was taken with seasickness, from which I had been kept during my four previous short voyagesin answer to prayer; but this time I on purpose refrained from prayingabout it, as I did not know whether it was better for my health to beseasick or not. The sickness continued the whole of yesterday. Today I amwell. We have fine and calm weather. I consider it a mercy that the Lordhas allowed me to be sea-sick. 

April 15. Bristol. Yesterday at one we landed in London. In answer toprayer I soon obtained my things from the Custom-house, and reached myfriends in Chancery Lane a little before two, where I found a letter frommy wife, stating that brother Craik is ill, having an inflammation in thewind-pipe, and therefore, humanly speaking, will be unable to preach forsome time. In consequence of this I started immediately for Bristol, whereI arrived this morning. I found brother Craik better than I had expected, though completely unable to attend to the ministry of the Word. 

April 16. Today brother Craik and I received 11l. 15s. 9d. Each, being alegacy left to us some time since. We said once or twice to one another, that perhaps this money might be paid at a time when we much needed it. And so it is just now. May I and all my brethren leave the management ofall our affairs entirely to the Lord, who best knows what is good for us;and may it be our concern to seek first the kingdom of God and Hisrighteousness, and all temporal supplies shall be added to us!

May 1. I went to see brother Craik, and found him better, but heard fromhis medical attendant that he ought not to preach for several months. May5. My father-in-law has been for several days very ill. May 15. Mr. Grovescontinues very ill. May 29. This morning brother Craik went intoDevonshire for change of air. 

June 3. Today we had a public meeting on account of the ScripturalKnowledge Institution for home and abroad. It is now fifteen months, since, in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of means, we have beenenabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the HolyScriptures, and aid missionary labours. During this time, though the fieldof labour has been continually enlarged, and though we have now and thenbeen brought low in funds, the Lord has never allowed us to be obliged tostop the work. We have been enabled during this time to establish threeday-schools, and to connect with the Institution two other charityday-schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed forwant of means. In addition to this, the expenses connected with aSunday-school and an adult school have been likewise defrayed, making sevenschools altogether. The number of the children that have been thusprovided with schooling, in the day-schools only, amounts to 439. Thenumber of copies of the Holy Scriptures, which have been circulated, is795 Bibles and 753 New Testaments. We have also sent, in aid of missionarylabours in Canada, in the East Indies, and on the Continent of Europe, 117l. 11s. The whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our handsfor carrying on this work, from March 5, 1834, to May 19, 1835, is 363l. 12s. 0 3/4d. 

June 20. Our father is evidently today near his end. June 22. Thismorning at two our father died. June 23. Both our children are ill. June24. Our little boy is very ill. June 25. The dear little boy is so ill, that I have no hope of his recovery. The disease is inflammation on thechest. I spoke this evening comfortably at Gideon, on Psalm cxlv. 1-4, thinking it right that neither the death of my father-in-law, nor my dyingchild should keep me from the Lord's work. The Lord's holy will be doneconcerning the dear little one. June 26. My prayer last evening was, thatGod would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should Heremove the little one; and to take him soon to Himself, thus sparing himfrom suffering. I did not pray for the child's recovery. It was but twohours after that the dear little one went home. The eldest and theyoungest the Lord has thus removed from our family in the same week. Mydear Mary feels her loss much, but yet is greatly supported. As to myself, I am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant is so much betteroff with the Lord Jesus than with us, that I scarcely feel the loss atall, and when I weep, I weep for joy. 

June 27. My dear wife is graciously supported. May the Lord grant thatthese afflictions may not be lost upon us! June 28. I preached today bothtimes comfortably. June 29. This morning was the funeral. The remains ofour father and infant were put into the same grave. 

July 3. Our taxes are due, and may be called for any day, and for thefirst time we have no money to pay them, as we were obliged, on account ofour late afflictions, to spend the money which we had put by for them. Maythe Lord in mercy provide! July 6. I was enabled today, by the free-willofferings through the boxes, and by what I had left, to pay the taxesbefore they were called for. How kind of the Lord to answer my prayer sosoon! July 8. This evening I had 5l. Sent from Weston-super-Mare. So theLord has again appeared. May I praise His holy name for this seasonablehelp, which came when I had scarcely any money left! July 14. Today I hadagain a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. My clothes were muchworn and old, and our late funeral might have given a second reason forhaving new ones. But I did not order any, because I had no money to payfor them, and thought it wrong to contract debts. --A fresh paper wasbrought in today for taxes, which ought to have been asked for many monthssince. May the Lord give us the means to pay them!

July 15. We had again an especial prayer-meeting for the restoration ofbrother Craik, who, though well in his general health, is yet unable topreach, or even to converse for any length of time. July 18. I have feltfor several days weak in my chest. This weakness has been increasing, andtoday I have felt it more than ever. I have thought it well to refrainnext week from all public speaking. May the Lord grant that I may bebrought nearer to Him through this, for I am not at all in the state inwhich I ought to be, and I think sometimes that our late afflictions havebeen lost upon me, and that the Lord will need to chastise me severely. 

July 22. The last mentioned taxes were called for this morning, justafter the Lord had sent us 5l. , from a distance of about eighty miles. Sothe Lord has again of late, repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help. May this lead us to trust in Him for the future! July 28. Since the 14th Ihave felt unwell, and though sometimes a little better, on the whole Ihave been getting worse and worse. This morning I have seen our medicalattendant, who thinks that all the disease arises from a disorderedstomach. 

July 31. Today brother C-r, formerly a minister in the establishment, whocame to us a few days since, began, in connexion with the ScripturalKnowledge Institution, to go from house to house, to spread the truth as acity missionary. [This was a remarkable interposition of God. BrotherCraik had before this, for some months, been unable on account of bodilyinfirmity, to labour in the work of the schools, the circulation of theScriptures, &c. , and my own weakness, shortly after brother C-r's arrival, increased so that I was obliged to give up the work entirely: Howgracious, therefore, of the Lord, to send brother C-r, that thus the workmight go on! Up to July, 1837, this brother was enabled to continue in hiswork, and thus this little Institution was in a most important wayenlarged as it regards the field of labour. ]

August 15. Today dear brother Craik returned from Devonshire, much betterin his general health, but not better as it regards his voice. --August 24. I feel very weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. I am indoubt whether to leave Bristol entirely for a time. I have no money to goaway for a change of air. I have had an invitation to stay for a week witha sister in the country, and I think of accepting the invitation, andgoing tomorrow. August 26. Today I had 5l. Given to me for the expresspurpose of using change of air. Aug. 29. Today I received another 5l. Forthe same purpose. 

August 30. Today, for the first Lord's day since our arrival in Bristol, I have been kept from preaching through illness. How mercifully has theLord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! I had another5l. Sent, to aid me in procuring change of air. How kind is the Lord inthus providing me with the means of leaving Bristol! September 2. Wentwith my family to Portishead. September 3 to 5. I read the lives of theEnglish martyrs at the time of the reformation. My spirit has been greatlyrefreshed. May the Lord help me to follow these holy men as far as theyfollowed Christ! Of all reading, besides that of the Holy Scriptures, which should be always THE book, THE CHIEF book to us, not merely intheory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most usefulfor the growth of the inner man. Yet one has to be cautious in the choice, and to guard against reading too much. At such a time as the present, whenmy mind and body are too weak for much exertion, as the study of the Word, conversation, writing letters, or walking, &c. , I find it most refreshingto read a few pages of this kind, though these last six years I have notread the fifth part, perhaps not the tenth part as much of other books asof the Holy Scriptures. 

September 14. We are still at Portishead. I am but little better. I amgreatly bowed down today on account of my inward corruptions and carnalityof heart. When will God deliver me from this state?! How I long to be morelike Him! My present way of living is also a great trial to me. The caringso much about the body; the having for my chief employment eating anddrinking, walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise; all this to which Ihave not been at all accustomed these six years, I find to be very trying. I would much rather be again in the midst of the work in Bristol, if myLord will condescend to use His most unworthy servant. 

September 15. As I clearly understood that the person, who lets me hishorse, has no license, I saw, that being bound as a believer to actaccording to the laws of the country, I could use it no longer: and ashorse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration, and as this is the only horse, which is to be had in the place, we came tothe conclusion to leave Portishead tomorrow. Immediately after, I receiveda kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the Lord, who lived in theIsle of Wight, which contained a fourth invitation, more pressing thanever, to come and stay with them for some time. In addition to this, theywrote that they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were persuadedthat I ought to come. This matter has been today a subject for prayer andconsideration to us. 

September 16. We came this morning to the conclusion to leave Portisheadtoday, and that I should go to the Isle of Wight; but we saw not how mywife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had notsufficient money for traveling expenses; and yet this seemed ofimportance, as otherwise my wife would be overburdened in my absence, andmy mind would not be sufficiently free; and besides this, she also seemsto need change of air. The Lord graciously removed the difficulty thisevening; for we received most unexpectedly and unasked for 6l. 13s. , whichwas owed to us, and, also, when we had already retired to rest, a letterwas brought, containing a present of 2l. How very, very kind, and tenderis the Lord!

September 19. This evening we arrived at our friends' in the Isle ofWight, by whom we were most kindly received. --September 21 to 26. Nothingremarkable has occurred. I feel very comfortable in this place, and findmy stay here refreshing to my soul. My health is about the same. I am notfit for mental exercise, and am soon fatigued even by conversation. I haveread during the last days, with great interest and admiration of thegoodness of God, and to the refreshment of my soul, the life of JohnNewton, and the lives of some of the English martyrs at the time of thereformation. 

Sept. 27. Today I am thirty years of age. I feel myself an unprofitableservant. How much more might I have lived for God than I have done! Maythe Lord grant, that, if I am allowed to stay a few days more in thisworld, they may be spent entirely for Him! September 29. Last evening, when I retired from the family, I had a desire to go to rest at once, forI had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldnessof the night was a temptation for me to pray no further. However, the Lorddid help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had I commenced praying, than He shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer, as I hadnot enjoyed for many weeks. He graciously once more revived His work inmy heart. I enjoyed that nearness to God and fervency in prayer, for morethan an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. Forthe first time, during this illness, I had now also a spirit of prayer asit regards my health. I could ask the Lord earnestly to restore me again, which had not been the case before. I now long to go back again to thework in Bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the Lordwill strengthen me to return to it. I went to bed especially happy andawoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again, for more than an hour, real communion with the Lord before breakfast. MayHe in mercy continue this state of heart to His most unworthy child!

October 8. My strength has been during the last days increasing, but Ifeel still the symptoms of indigestion. I have been able to speak severaltimes at family prayer, and to expound the Scriptures to the schoolchildren, without suffering in consequence of it. 

October 9. I have many times had thoughts of giving in print some accountof the Lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, andencouragement of the children of God; and I have been more than everstirred up to do so since I read Newton's life a few days ago. I haveconsidered, today, all the reasons for and against, and find that thereare scarcely any against, and many for it. 

October 15. Today we left our dear friends for Bristol. November 15. Brother C-r and I have been praying together, the last five days, that theLord would be pleased to send us means for the carrying on of the work ofthe Scriptural Knowledge Institution. This evening a brother gave me 6s. 1d. , being money which he formerly used to pay towards the support of atrade club, which he has lately given up for the Lord's sake. --November 18. This evening £30 was given to me; £25. For the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution, and £5. For myself. This is a most remarkable answer toprayer. Brother C-r and I have prayed repeatedly together during the lastweek, concerning the work, and especially that the Lord would be pleasedto give us the means to continue, and even to enlarge, the field. Inaddition to this, I have several times asked for a supply for myself, andHe has kindly granted both these requests. Oh that I may have grace totrust Him more and more!--November 20. This evening I took tea at asister's house, where I found Franke's life. I have frequently, for a longtime, thought of labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a muchsmaller scale; not, to imitate Franke, but in reliance upon the Lord. MayGod make it plain! November 21. Today I have had it very much impressed onmy heart, no longer merely to think about the establishment of anOrphan-House, but actually to set about it, and I have been very muchin prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the Lord'smind. --I received this day, from an unexpected quarter, £5. For the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, in answer to prayer; and I had also £1. 14s. 6d. Sent from a distance of one hundredand twenty miles. -November 22. This evening I had sent forthe Institution £1. 4s. --November 23. Today I had £10. Sentfrom Ireland for our Institution. Thus the Lord, in answer to prayer, has given me, in a few days, about £50. I had asked only for £40. This hasbeen a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirredme up to think and pray about the establishment of anOrphan-House. --November 25. I have been again much in prayeryesterday and today about the Orphan-House, and am moreand more convinced that it is of God. May He in mercy guide me!The three chief reasons for establishing an Orphan-House are:--1. That God may be glorified, should He be pleased to furnish me withthe means, in its being seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in Him;and that thus the faith of His children may be strengthened. 2. Thespiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children. 3. Theirtemporal welfare. 

It may be well to enter somewhat more minutely, than my journal does, upon the reasons which led me to establish an Orphan-House. Through mypastoral labours among the saints in Bristol, through my considerablecorrespondence, and through brethren who visited Bristol; I had constantlycases brought before me, which proved, that one of the especial thingswhich the children of God needed in our day, was, to have their faithstrengthened. For instance: I might visit a brother, who worked fourteenor even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of whichwas, that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had noenjoyment in the things of God. Under such circumstances I might point outto him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health mightnot suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man, byreading the word of God, by meditation over it, and by prayer. The reply, however, I generally found to be something like this: "But if I workless, I do not earn enough for the support of my family. Even now, whilstI work so much, I have scarcely enough. The wages are so low, that I mustwork hard in order to obtain what I need. There was no trust in God. Noreal belief in the truth of that word: "Seek ye first the kingdom ofGod, and His righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you. "I might reply something like this: "My dear brother, it is not your workwhich supports your family, but the Lord; and He who has fed you and yourfamily when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surelyprovide for you and yours, if for the sake of obtaining food for yourinner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day, as would allowyou proper time for retirement. And is it not the case now, that you beginthe work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments forprayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then toread a little of the word of God, are you not too much worn out in bodyand mind, to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading theScriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?" The brother would allow itwas so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still I read in hiscountenance, even if he should not have actually said so, "How should Iget on, if I were to carry out your advice?" I longed, therefore, to havesomething to point the brother to, as a visible proof, that our God andFather is the same faithful God as ever He was; as willing as ever toPROVE Himself to be the LIVING GOD, in our day as formerly, to all who puttheir trust in Him. --Again, sometimes I found children of God tried inmind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work anylonger, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into thepoor-house. If in such a case I pointed out to them, how their HeavenlyFather has always helped those who put their trust in Him, they might not, perhaps, always say, that times have changed; but yet it was evidentenough, that God was not looked upon by them as the LIVING God. My spiritwas ofttimes bowed down by this, and I longed to set something before thechildren of God, whereby they might see, that He does not forsake, even inour day, those who rely upon him. --Another class of persons were brethrenin business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on theirconsciences, by carrying on their business, almost in the same way, asunconverted persons do. The competition in trade, the bad times, theover-peopled country, were given as reasons why, If the business werecarried on simply according to the word of God, it could not be expectedto do well. Such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish, that he mightbe differently situated; but very rarely did I see, that there was a standmade for God, that there was the holy determination to trust in the livingGod, and to depend on Him, in order that a good conscience might bemaintained. To this class likewise I desired to show, by a visible proof, that God is unchangeably the same. --Then there was another class ofpersons, individuals who were in professions in which they could notcontinue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscripturalposition with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, onaccount of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they couldnot abide with God, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrownout of employment. My spirit longed to be instrumental in strengtheningtheir faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of God, ofHis willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon Him, but toshow them by proofs, that He is the same in our day. I well knew that theword of God ought to be enough, and it was, by grace, enough to me; butstill, I considered that I aught to lend a helping hand to my brethren, ifby any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness ofthe Lord I might strengthen their hands in God; for I remembered what agreat blessing my own soul had received through the Lord's dealings withHis servant A. H. Franke, who, in dependence upon the living God alone, established an immense Orphan-House, which I had seen many times with myown eyes. I, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of theChurch of Christ, in the particular point on which I had obtained mercy:namely, in being able to take God by His word and to rely upon it. Allthese exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so manybelievers, with whom I became acquainted, were harassed and distressed inmind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting inthe Lord; were used by God to awaken in my heart the desire of settingbefore the church at large, and before the world, a proof that He has notin the least changed; and this seemed to me best done, by the establishingof an Orphan-House. It needed to be something which could be seen, even bythe natural eye. Now, if I, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, without asking any individual, the means for establishing andcarrying on an Orphan-House: there would be something which with theLord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of thechildren of God besides being a testimony to the consciences of theunconverted, of the reality of the things of God. This, then, was theprimary reason, for establishing the Orphan-House. I certainly did from myheart desire to be used by God to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help ofGod, to do them good for this life;--I also particularly longed to be usedby God in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of God;--butstill, the first and primary object of the work was, (and still is:) thatGod might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care areprovided, with all they need, only by prayer and faith, without any onebeing asked by me or my fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that Godis FAITHFUL STILL, and HEARS PRAYER STILL. That I was not mistaken, hasbeen abundantly proved singe November, 1835, both by the conversion ofmany sinners who have read the accounts, which have been published inconnexion with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that hasfollowed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, Idesire to be grateful to God, and the honour and glory of which not onlyis due to Him alone, but which I, by His help, am enabled toascribe to Him. 

November 28. I have been, every day this week, very much in prayerconcerning the Orphan-House, chiefly entreating the Lord to take awayevery thought concerning it out of my mind, if the matter be not of Him;and have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in thematter. But I have been more and more confirmed that it is of God. 

December 2. I have again these last days prayed much about theOrphan-House, and have frequently examined my heart, that if it were atall my desire to establish it for the sake of gratifying myself I mightfind it out. To that end I have also conversed with brother Craik aboutit, that he might be instrumental in showing me any hidden corruption ofmy heart concerning the matter, or any other scriptural reason againstmy engaging in it. The one only reason which ever made me at all doubt asto its being of God, that I should engage in this work, is, themultiplicity of engagements which I have already. But that which hasoverbalanced this objection in my mind has been:--1. That the matteris of such great importance. 2. That if the matter be of God, He willin due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively little ofmy time will be taken up in this service. 

This morning I asked the Lord especially, that He would be pleased toteach me through the instrumentality of brother C. ; and I went to him, that he might have an opportunity of probing my heart. For as I desireonly the Lord's glory, I should be glad to be instructed through theinstrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not of Him. But brotherC. , on the contrary, greatly encouraged me in it. Therefore I have thisday taken the first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills tobe printed, announcing a public meeting on December 9th, at which I intendto lay before the brethren my thoughts concerning the Orphan-House, as ameans of ascertaining more clearly the Lord's mind concerning the matter. December 4. Brother Craik told me this morning, that his voice is gettinga little better. December 5. This evening I was struck, in reading theScriptures, with these words: "Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it. "Ps. Lxxxi. 10. Up to this day I had not prayed at all concerning the meansor individuals needed for the Orphan-House. I was now led to apply thisscripture to the Orphan-House, and asked the Lord for premises, 1000l. , and suitable individuals to take care of the children. December 7. Today Ireceived the first shilling for the Orphan-House. Afterwards I receivedanother shilling from a German brother. 

December 9. This afternoon the first piece of furniture was given--a largewardrobe. This afternoon and evening I was low in spirit as it regards theOrphan-House, but as soon as I began to speak at the meeting, I receivedpeculiar assistance from God, felt great peace and joy, and the assurancethat the work is of God. After the meeting, 10s. Was given to me. Therewas purposely no collection, nor did any one speak besides myself; for itwas not in the least intended to work upon the feelings, for I sought tobe quite sure concerning the mind of God. After the meeting a sisteroffered herself for the work. I went home happy in the Lord, and full ofconfidence that the matter will come to pass, though but 10s. Has beengiven. December 10. This morning I have sent to the press a statementwhich contains the substance of what I said at the meeting last evening. [For the sake of those who have not read it before, it is given here. ]

Proposal for the Establishment of an Orphan-House in connexion with theScriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad. 

Since the last Report of the operations of the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution for home and abroad was published, the Lord has sent us, inanswer to prayer, brother John C-r, formerly a minister of theestablishment, as a city missionary, who goes from house to house, amongthe poor of this city, to converse with them about the things of God, tocirculate the Scriptures among them, to get them to come to the adultschool, if they cannot read, and to advise them to put their children toour schools, provided they go to no other. It was particularly gracious ofthe Lord to send this brother, nearly five months ago, as my brother andfellow labourer, Henry Craik, has been for these eight months laid asidefrom the ministry of the Word on account of bodily infirmity, and hastherefore been unable to take an active part in this Institution. Thus Ihave not only found great help, but I have been greatly encouraged toenlarge the field. That to which my mind has been particularly directed, is, to establish an Orphan-House in which destitute fatherless andmotherless children may be provided with food and raiment, and scripturaleducation. Concerning this intended Orphan-House I would say

1. It is intended to be in connexion with the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution for home and abroad, in so far as it respects the Reports, accounts, superintendence, and the principles on which it is conducted, sothat, in one sense, it may be considered as a new object of theInstitution, yet with this difference, that only those funds shall beapplied to the Orphan-House which are expressly given for it. If, therefore, any believer should prefer to support either those objectswhich have been hitherto assisted by the funds of this Institution, or theintended Orphan-House, it need only be mentioned, in order that the moneymay be applied accordingly. 

2. It will only be established if the Lord should provide both the meansfor it, and suitable persons to conduct it. 

As to the means, I would make the following remarks. The reason forproposing to enlarge the field, is not because we have of lateparticularly abounded in means; for we have been rather straitened. Themany gracious answers, however, which the Lord had given us concerningthis Institution, led brother C-r and me to give ourselves to prayer, asking him to supply us with the means to carry on the work, as weconsider it unscriptural to contract debts. During five days, we prayedseveral times, both unitedly and separately. After that time, the Lordbegan to answer our prayers, so that, within a few days, about 50l. Wasgiven to us. I would further say, that the very gracious and tenderdealings of God with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for thelast five years, my own temporal wants without any certain income, so thatmoney, provisions and clothes have been sent to me at times when I wasgreatly straitened, and that not only in small but large quantities; andnot merely from individuals living in the same place with me, but at aconsiderable distance; and that not merely from intimate friends, but fromindividuals whom I have never seen: all this, I say, has often led me tothink, even as long as four years ago, that the Lord had not given me thissimple reliance on Him merely for myself; but also for others. Often, whenI saw poor neglected children running about the streets at Teignmouth, Isaid to myself: "May it not be the will of God, that I should establishschools for these children, asking Him to give me the means?" However, itremained only a thought in my mind for two or three years. About two yearsand six months since I was particularly stirred up afresh to do somethingfor destitute children, by seeing so many of them begging in the streetsof Bristol, and coming to our door. It was not, then, left undone onaccount of want of trust in the Lord, but through an abundance of otherthings calling for all the time and strength of my brother Craik andmyself; for the Lord had both given faith, and had also shown by thefollowing instance, in addition to very many others, both what He can andwhat He will do. One morning, whilst sitting in my room, I thought aboutthe distress of certain brethren, and said thus to myself:--"O that itmight please the Lord to give me the means to help these poor brethren!"About an hour afterwards I had 60l. Sent as a present for myself, from abrother, whom up to this day I have never seen, and who was then, and isstill, residing several thousand miles from this. Should not such anexperience, together with promises like that one in John xiv. 13, 14, encourage us to ask with all boldness, for ourselves and others, bothtemporal and spiritual blessings? The Lord, for I cannot but think it wasHe, again and again, brought the thought about these poor children to mymind, till at last it ended in the establishment of "The ScripturalKnowledge Institution, for Home and Abroad;" since the establishment ofwhich, I have had it in a similar way brought to my mind, first aboutfourteen months ago, and repeatedly since, but especially during theselast weeks, to establish an Orphan-House. My frequent prayer of late hasbeen, that if it be of God, He would let it come to pass; if not, that Hewould take from me all thoughts about it. The latter has not been thecase, but I have been led more and more to think that the matter may be ofHim. Now, if so, He can influence His people in any part of the world, (for I do not look to Bristol, nor even to England, but to the living God, whose is the gold and the silver, ) to intrust me and brother C-r, whom theLord has made willing to help me in this work, with the means. Till wehave them, we can do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it, &c. Yet, when once as much as is needed for this has been sent us, as alsoproper persons to engage in the work, we do not think it needful to waittill we have the Orphan-House endowed, or a number of yearly subscribersfor it; but we trust to be enabled by the Lord, who has taught us to askfor our daily bread, to look to Him for the supply of the daily wants ofthose children whom He may be pleased to put under our care. Any donationswill be received at my house. Should any believers have tables, chairs, bedsteads, bedding, earthenware, or any kind of household furniture tospare, for the furnishing of the house; or remnants or pieces of calico, linen, flannel, cloth, or any materials useful for wearing apparel; orclothes already worn; they will be thankfully received. 

Respecting the persons who are needed for carrying on the work, a matterof no less importance than the procuring of funds, I would observe, thatwe look for them to God Himself, as well as for the funds; and that allwho may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants, according to thesmallness or largeness of the Institution, must be known to us as truebelievers; and moreover, as far as we may be able to judge, must likewisebe qualified for the work. 

3. At present nothing can be said as to the time when the operations arelikely to commence; nor whether the Institution will embrace children ofboth sexes, or be restricted either to boys or girls exclusively; nor ofwhat age they will be received, and how long they may continue in it; forthough we have thought about these things, yet we would rather be guidedin these particulars by the amount of the means which the Lord may putinto our hands, and by the number of the individuals whom he may providefor conducting the Institution. Should the Lord condescend to use us asinstruments, a short printed statement will be issued as soon as somethingmore definite can be said. 

4. It has appeared well to us to receive only such destitute children ashave been bereaved of both parents. 

5. The children are intended, if girls, to be brought up for service; ifboys, for a trade; and therefore they will be employed, according to theirability and bodily strength, in useful occupations, and thus help tomaintain themselves; besides this they are intended to receive a plaineducation; but the chief and especial end of the Institution will be toseek, with God's blessing, to bring them to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, by instructing them in the Scriptures. 

GEORGE MULLER. 

Bristol, Dec. 10th, 1835. 

December 11. I have been enabled to pray all this week with increasedconfidence concerning the Orphan-House, as it regards means, a house, suitable individuals to take care of the children, furniture, &c. December16. Brother C-n, whom the Lord has kindly allowed to stay above two monthsamong us, to supply brother Craik's lack of service, left us today. Howvery gracious has the Lord been to us in this affliction! Many brethrenhave been sent to us as helpers for a little while--brother C-t for thegreater part of the time, and brother C-n for more than two months. And, in addition to this, when brother Craik and I were both ill, the brethrenwere kept in peace, and there was a spirit of prayer among them. December31. This evening we had an especial meeting for prayer and praise. Wecontinued together from seven till after twelve. 

There have been received into the church at Gideon during the past year--29

Ditto, Bethesda--30

Altogether--59

Of these 59, 30 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord throughthe instrumentality of brother Craik and me. There are now, of those whohave been begotten again through us, since we have been in Bristol, atGideon 63, and at Bethesda 71--altogether 134. Besides this, several havefallen asleep in the faith, who never were in communion with us, andseveral of our spiritual children have joined other churches, in and outof Bristol, and many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list ofcandidates for communion. There have been added to the church at Gideon, since we came, 125; to Bethesda, 163--altogether 288; so that the numberof both churches would have been 356 (68 believers we found at Gideon), had there been no changes; but

Of Gideon are at present

under church discipline 6, of Bethesda, 7, altogether, 13

Do. Have fallen asleep 12 do. 5 do. 17

Do. Have left Bristol 10 do. 4 do. 14

Do. Have left us, but are

still in Bristol 11 do. 4 do. 15

39 20 59

So that there are at present in communion with us 297:--143 at Bethesda, and 154 at Gideon. 

As it regards the way in which the Lord, in His faithful love, suppliedmy temporal wants, during the past year, I mention that I received--

1. In free-will offerings, given through the boxes, as my part £130 3s. 71/4d. 

2. In free-will offerings given by believers in and out of Bristol, notthrough the boxes £120 7s. 6d. 

3. Towards the house rent I received from brother Craik, in considerationthat he has no rent to pay, for nine months £7 10s. 0d. 

4. The presents sent to us in clothes and provisions, &c. , were worth tous at least £27 0s. 0d. 

Altogether £285 1s. 1 1/4d. 

January 3, 1836. This morning brother Craik spoke a little in public forthe first time after about nine months. 

January 6. Today we had three especial prayer meetings, for the fullrestoration of brother Craik's voice. We had also, on January 7, 8, 9, and10, especial prayer meetings for brother Craik's full restoration. January16. Today I put into the press another statement, containing a furtheraccount respecting the Orphan-House. [It is here reprinted. ]

Further account respecting the Orphan-House, intended to be establishedin Bristol, in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution forHome and Abroad. 

When, of late, the thoughts of establishing an Orphan-House, independence upon the Lord, revived in my mind, during the first two weeks Ionly prayed, that, if it were of the Lord, He would bring it about; but, if not, that He graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts about itout of my mind. My uncertainty about knowing the Lord's mind did not arisefrom questioning whether it would be pleasing in His sight, that thereshould be an abode and scriptural education provided for destitutefatherless and motherless children; but whether it were His will that Ishould be the instrument of setting such an object on foot, as my handswere already more than filled. My comfort, however, was, that, if it wereHis will, He would provide not merely the means, but also suitableindividuals to take care of the children, so that my part of the workwould take only such a portion of my time, as, considering the importanceof the matter, I might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements. The whole of those two weeks I never asked the Lord for money, or forpersons to engage in the work. On December 5th, however, the subject of myprayer all at once became different. I was reading Psalm lxxxi, and wasparticularly struck, more than at any time before, with ver. 10: "Open thymouth wide, and I will fill it. " I thought a few moments about thesewords, and then was led to apply them to the case of the Orphan-house. Itstruck me that I had never asked the Lord for any thing concerning it, except to know His will respecting its being established or not; and Ithen fell on my knees, and opened my mouth wide, asking Him for much. Iasked in submission to His will, and without fixing a time when He shouldanswer my petition. I prayed that He would give me a house, i. E. Either asa loan, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one, or that onemight be given permanently for this object; further, I asked Him for£1000; and likewise for suitable individuals to take care of the children. Besides this, I have been since led to ask the Lord, to put into thehearts of His people to send me articles of furniture for the house, andsome clothes for the children. When I was asking the petition, I was fullyaware what I was doing, i. E. , that I was asking for something which I hadno natural prospect of obtaining from the brethren whom I know, but whichwas not too much for the Lord to grant. As I have stated, that I desire tosee clearly the Lord's will concerning the Orphan-House, by His providingboth the means and suitable individuals for it, I will now mention how Hehas been dealing with me in these respects. 

December 7, 1835. --Anonymously was given 2s. In the paper in which theywere enclosed was written "1s. For the Orphan-House, and 1s. For theScriptural Knowledge Institution. In the name of the Lord alone lift upyour banners, so shall you prosper. " 1s. Besides was given. December 9. Ifound 3s. In the box, which I had put up two days before in my room forthe Orphan-House, and a large wardrobe given just before the meeting inthe evening, when I stated publicly my desire concerning this objectbefore the brethren. After the meeting 10s. Was given. Also a sisteroffered herself at the same time for the work. December 10. This morning Ireceived a letter, in which a brother and sister wrote thus:--"We proposeourselves for the service of the intended Orphan-House, if you think usqualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, &c. , which the Lordhas given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salarywhatever; believing, that if it be the will of the Lord to employ us, Hewill supply all our need, &c. " In the evening a brother brought fromseveral individuals three dishes, 28 plates, three basins, one jug, fourmugs, three salt stands, one grater, four knives, and five forks. 

December 12. While I was praying this morning that the Lord would give usa fresh token of His favour concerning the Orphan-House, a brother broughtthree dishes, 12 plates, one basin, and one blanket. After this had beengiven, I thanked God, and asked Him to give even this day anotherencouragement. Shortly after, £50. Was given, and that by an individualfrom whom, for several reasons, I could not have expected this sum. Thusthe hand of God appeared so much the more clearly. Even then I was led topray, that this day the Lord would give still more. In the evening, accordingly, there were sent 29 yards of print. Also a sister offeredherself for the work. Dec. 13. A brother was influenced this day to give4s. Per week, or 10l. 8s. Yearly, as long as the Lord gives the means; 8s. Was given by him as two weeks' subscriptions. Today a brother and sisteroffered themselves, with all their furniture, and all the provisions whichthey have in the house, if they can be usefully employed in the concernsof the Orphan-House. 

December 14. Today a sister offered her services for the work. In theevening another sister offered herself for the Institution. December 15. Asister brought from several friends, ten basins, eight mugs, one plate, five dessert spoons, six tea spoons, one skimmer, one toasting fork, oneflour dredge, three knives and forks, one sheet, one pillow case, onetable cloth; also 1l. In the afternoon were sent 55 yards of sheeting, and12 yards of calico. December 16. I took out of the box in my room 1s. December 17. I was rather cast down last evening and this morning aboutthe matter, questioning whether I ought to be engaged in this way, and wasled to ask the Lord to give me some further encouragement. Soon after weresent by a brother two pieces of print, the one seven and the other 23 3/4yards, 6 3/4 yards of calico, four pieces of lining, about four yardsaltogether, a sheet, and a yard measure. This evening another brotherbrought a clothes' horse, three frocks, four pinafores, six handkerchiefs, three counterpanes, one blanket, two pewter salt cellars, six tin cups, and six metal tea spoons; he also brought 3s. 6d. Given to him by threedifferent individuals. At the same time he told me that it had been putinto the heart of an individual to send tomorrow 100l. 

December 18. This afternoon the same brother brought from a sister, acounterpane, a flat iron stand, eight cups, and saucers, a sugar basin, amilk jug, a tea cup, 16 thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessertspoons, 12 tea spoons, four combs, and two little graters; from anotherfriend a flat iron and a cup and saucer. At the same time he brought the100l. Above referred to. [Since the publication of the second edition ithas pleased the Lord to take to Himself the donor of this 100l. , and Itherefore give in this present edition some further account of thedonation and the donor, as the particulars respecting both, with God'sblessing, may tend to edification. Indeed I confess that I am delighted tobe at liberty, in consequence of the death of the donor, to give thefollowing short narrative, which, during her lifetime, I should not haveconsidered it wise to publish. A. L. , the donor, was known to me almostfrom the beginning of my coming to Bristol in 1832. She earned her breadby needlework, by which she gained from 2s. To 5s. Per week; the average, I suppose, was not more than about 3s. 6d. , as she was weak in body. Butthis dear, humble sister was content with her small earnings, and I do notremember ever to have heard her utter a word of complaint on account ofearning so little. Some time, before I had been led to establish anOrphan-House, her father had died, through which event she had comeinto the possession of 480l. , which sum had been left to her (and thesame amount to her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but ofwhich her father had had the interest during his lifetime. The father, who had been much given to drinking, died in debt, which debts the children wished to pay; but the rest, besidesA. L. , did not like to pay the full amount, and offeredto the creditors 5s. In the pound, which they gladly accepted, as they had not the least legal claim upon the children. After thedebts had been paid according to this agreement, A. L. Said to herself;"However sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father, andas I have the means of paying his debts to the full amount, I ought, asa believing child, to do so, seeing that my brothers and sisters will notdo it. " She then went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the fullamount of the debts, which took 40l. More of her money, besides hershare which she had given before. Her brother and two sisters now gave50l. Each of their property to their mother; but A. L. Said to herself:"I am a child of God, surely I ought to give my mother twice as muchas my brother and sisters. " She, therefore, gave her mother 100l. Shortlyafter this she sent me the 100l. Towards the Orphan-House. I was not alittle surprised when I received this money from her, for I had always known her as a poor girl, and I had never heardany thing about her having come into the possession of thismoney, and her dress had never given me theleast indication of an alteration in her circumstances. Before, however, accepting this money from her, I had a long conversation with her, inwhich I sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which I sought toascertain whether, as I had feared, she might have given this money in thefeeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. I was themore particular, because, if the money were given, without its being givenfrom Scriptural motives, and there should be regretafterwards, the name of the Lord would be dishonoured. But Ihad not conversed long with this beloved sister, beforeI found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, consideratefollower of the Lord Jesus, and one who desired, in spiteof what human reason might say, to act according to the words of ourLord: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth. " Matthew vi. 19. "Sell that ye have, and give alms. " Luke xii. 33. When I remonstratedwith her, in order that I might see, whether she had counted the cost, she said to me: "The Lord Jesus has given His last drop of blood for me, and should I not give Him this 100l. ?" She likewise said: "Rather than theOrphan-House should not be established, I will give all the money I have. "When I saw that she had weighed the matter according to the word of God, and that she had counted the cost, I could not but take the money, andadmire the way which the Lord took, to use this poor, sickly sister as aninstrument, in so considerable a measure, for helping, at its verycommencement, this work, which I had set about solely in dependenceupon the living God. At that time she would also have me take 5l. For thepoor saints in communion with us. I mention here particularly, that thisdear sister kept all these things to herself; and did them as much aspossible in secret; and during her life-time, I suppose, not six brethrenand sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed 480l. , or that shehad given 100l. Towards the Orphan-House. But this is not all. Some timeafter this 100l. Had been given by her, brother C-r, (who was thenlabouring as a City Missionary in connexion with the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution, and who about that very time happened to visit from house tohouse in that part of the city where A. L. Lived), told me that he had metwith many cases, in which A. L. Had given to one poor woman a bedstead, toanother some bedding, to another some clothes, to another food; and thusinstance upon instance of acts of love, on the part of our dear sisterA. L. , had come before him. I relate one instance more. August 4, 1836, seven months and a half after she had given the 100l. , she came one morning to me and said: "Last evening Ifelt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds ofthe Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but whilst praying I thought, whatgood is it for me to pray for means, if I do not give, when I have themeans, and I have therefore brought you this 5l. " As I had reason tobelieve that by this time by far the greater part of her money was gone, Iagain had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she reallydid count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto theLord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not togive the money. However, she was at this time also steadfast, groundedupon the word of God, and evidently constrained by the love of Christ; andall the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she said: "You musttake five shillings in addition to the 5l. , as a proof that I give the 5l. Cheerfully. " And thus she constrained me to take the 5l. 5s. Four thingsare especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference toall this period of her earthly pilgrimage: 1, She did all these things insecret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved, thatshe did not desire the praise of man. 2, She remained, as before, of anhumble and lowly mind, and she proved thus, that she had done what she didunto the Lord, and not unto man. 3, Her dress remained, during all thetime that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. It wasclean, yet as simple and inexpensive as it was at the time when all herincome had consisted of 3s. 6d. , or at most 5s. , per week. There was notthe least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc. Sheremained in every way the poor hand-maid of the Lord, as to all outwardappearance. 4, But that which is as lovely as the rest, she continuedworking at her needle all this time. She earned her 2s. 6d. , or 3s. , or alittle more, a week, by her work, as before: whilst she gave away themoney in Sovereigns or Five Pound Notes. --At last all her money was gone, and that some years before she fell sleep, and as her bodily health neverhad been good, as long as I had known her, and was now much worse, shefound herself peculiarly dependent upon the Lord, who never forsook her upto the last moment of her earthly course. The very commencement of herlife of simple dependence upon the Lord, was such as greatly to encourageher. She related the facts to me as I give them here. When she wascompletely without money, and when her little stock of tea and butter wasalso gone, two sisters in the Lord called on her. After they had been alittle while with her, they told her that they had come to take tea withher. She said to herself; I should not at all mind to go without my tea, but this is a great trial, that I have nothing to set before thesesisters; and she gave them therefore to understand, that their staying totea would not be convenient at that time. The sisters, however, I suppose, not understanding the hint, remained, and presently brought out of abasket tea, sugar, butter and bread, and thus there was all that wasrequisite for the tea, and the remainder of the provisions was left withher. She told me, that at that time she was not accustomed to trials offaith, as she afterwards was. 

Her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was ableto work very little, for many months before she died; but the Lordsupplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. Forinstance, a sister in communion with us sent her for many months all thebread she used. --Her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst ofthe greatest bodily sufferings. She fell asleep in Jesus in January1844. --I have related these facts, because they tend to thepraise of the Lord, and may be instrumental in stirring up otherchildren of God, to follow this dear departed sister in so far as shefollowed the Lord Jesus; but, in particular, that I may show in whatremarkable ways the Lord proved, from the very beginning, that theOrphan-House was His and not mine. I now go on to narrate further howthe Lord provided me with means for it. ] This evening a sister sent fivesmall forms. December 20. A sister gave me 5l. December 21. A friend sent1l. Weekly subscription of 4s. December 22. A sister gave me 1l. And afriend sent 2s. 6d. December 23. A brother gave this evening a piece ofblind line and a dozen of blind tassels. About ten in the evening, agentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention, 4l. , of which I was allowed to take 2l. For the Orphan-House, andto give the other 2l. To poor believers. December 28. Duringthe last four days I had received no offerings, and was rather cast downabout it, not knowing why the Lord dealt thus. Yet, in the midst of it, Ihad a hope, that He was in the mean time working for the Orphan-House, though nothing had been given. I was again stirred up to pray, that theLord would appear today. A little after, I saw a brother who told me, thatever since he had received the printed proposal for the establishment ofan Orphan-House, he had considered the matter, and that he was willing togive for the use of it certain premises, which he built some years since, and which cost him 2, 600l. , provided there could be raised about 500l. , toadd to the buildings what may be needed, to fit them for the purpose. There is a piece of ground belonging to the premises, sufficiently largeto build thereon what may be required. The buildings are very suitable foran Orphan-House, containing some very large rooms. If, therefore, the Lordshould put it into the hearts of His people, who have the means, to givethis sum of money, the premises will be given. The reason why they areoffered under the above-mentioned condition is, that in the state in whichthey are now, on account of the peculiar purpose for which they werebuilt, they could accommodate only about 15 children, but, by the proposedaddition, would be large enough for 50 or 60. For the present, however, the premises are let, and a notice of six months must be given. If thismatter should be brought about by the Lord, my prayer concerning a house, which has been repeatedly brought before Him since December 5th, will havebeen answered. Yet I leave the matter in the hands of Him, who has thepower to give us a place, of which we may take immediate possession, orwho can put it into the hearts of His children to pay the rent for ahouse, or to give us the 500l. Necessary to complete the building. --Weeklysubscription of 4s. December 29. A clergyman gave 10s. December 30. Abrother at Sidmouth sent 5l. 

January 1, 1836. Through a sister was given 6s. , being six differentdonations; also from herself 1l. As a donation, besides 1s. As a monthlysubscription. Also a lady sent through her 1l. 1s. As a yearlysubscription. Jan. 2. 4 sister sent 5l. Jan. 3. A gentleman sent 5s, Jan. 4. Weekly subscription of 4s. Through a brother from two friends, 1s. Thesame brother brought also one dish, three plates, two basins, two cups andsaucers, and two knives and forks. Jan. 5. 10s. , and 12s. 9d. , and 2l. Were given. This evening some one rang our house bell. When the door wasopened, no one was there, but a kitchen fender and a dish were found atthe door, which, no doubt, were given for the Orphan-House. 

Jan. 7. 10s. Was sent. Jan. 8. 2l. Was given, also 10s. A sister offeredherself for the work. Jan. 9. From E. G. 1l. 5s. , and from a brother 6d. Jan. 10. 2s. 6d. Was given. In the paper was written, "Two widows mitesfor the Orphan-school. In the name of the Lord establish it. " Jan. 11. Weekly subscription 4s. Jan. 12. 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , and 1d. Were given. Jan. 14. An old great coat was given; 1l. By a brother. A sister in Dublinoffered 2l. 12s. Yearly. There was sent a deal box, a small looking-glass, a candlestick, a jug, a basin, two plates, two knives and forks, and a tindish. 

All this money, and all these articles have been given, and all theseabove-mentioned offers have been made, without my asking any individualfor anything; moreover, almost all has been sent from individualsconcerning whom I had naturally no reason to expect any thing, and some ofwhom I never saw. Upon the ground of these facts, therefore, I am clearlypersuaded, that it is the will of the Lord that I should proceed in thework, and I shall therefore now state something more definite than I couldin the former paper. 

1. If the Lord should not provide previous to the middle of February ahouse in the way of gift, which in a few weeks may be occupied for anOrphan-House, or put it into the heart of some one who loves Him to paythe rent for one, or to lend us one for this purpose, I intend, Godwilling, to rent certain suitable premises, which are to be had for about50l. Yearly. I purpose to take them for a twelvemonth, for that time wouldbe required, before the building could be finished, should the Lordprovide the above-mentioned 500l. 

2. It is intended, God willing, to open the institution about April 1. 

3. It is purposed to confine the Orphan-house, for the present, to femalechildren. My desire is to help both male and female orphans, and that fromtheir earliest youth; but hitherto the Lord has pointed out only a smallcommencement. Should it, however, please Him to give me the means, and toincrease my faith and light, I shall gladly serve Him more extensively inthis way. It has appeared well to me to commence with female children, because they are the more helpless sex, and they need more particularly tobe taken care of, that they may not fall a prey to vice. The house whichis to had will accommodate about 30 children, which number I intend toreceive at once, should the Lord give me the means to clothe that number, and to furnish the house for so many; but, if not, I purpose, at allevents, the Lord willing, to commence the work, though with a smallernumber. 

4. It is intended to receive the children from the seventh to the twelfthyear, and to let them stay in the house, till they are able to go toservice. 

5. As the children will be brought up for service, they will be employedin useful household work. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, Jan. 16, 1836. 

Jan. 24. Today brother Craik preached once for the first time. Jan. 30. Today I went to meet two sisters, who were expected from London. I satdown in the coach office, took out my Bible, and began to read; and thoughin the midst of the noise of the city, the Lord most especially refreshedmy soul, so much so, that I remember scarcely ever to have had more realcommunion with Him, which lasted for more than an hour. It was the love ofChrist which led me there. I would gladly have remained at home, to havehad time for prayer and reading the Word, especially as I had to leave thehouse early in the morning. Yet I went for the Lord's sake, and He gave mea blessing: so that, though I had to wait more than two hours, and afterall the sisters did not arrive, I was richly repaid. May I but leavemyself more and more in His hands! He orders all things well!

February 3. I have been very weak for some days. This evening brotherCraik was able to preach instead of me, for the first time at the weekmeetings. How good is the Lord in restoring him thus far! Feb. 16. Todaywas a day of thanksgiving on account of brother Craik's restoration. Wehad three public meetings. Feb. 17. I had been repeatedly praying todayfar a text, but obtained none. About five minutes before the time ofpreaching, I was directed to Rev. Ii. 19, on which I preached with muchassistance and enjoyment to my own soul, without any previous preparation;and the word was felt by many to be a word in season. Feb. 26. Thisevening both churches met at tea together, with the brethren and sisterswho intend to leave us in a few days for missionary work. Feb. 29. Thisevening we had a meeting on behalf of the missionary brethren and sisters. They were by seven brethren commended to the Lord in prayer. 

March 1. This afternoon brother and sister Groves, and the brethren andsisters going with them for missionary purposes, twelve in number, left usfor the East Indies. In consequence of the journey to the Continent, atthe commencement of last year, four brethren and two sisters have goneout, two brethren in October last, and two brethren and two sisters today. This evening we had again a prayer meeting for the dear missionary party. May the Lord soon give us the privilege of seeing some one of our ownnumber go forth. April 21. This day was set apart for prayer andthanksgiving concerning the Orphan-House, as it is now opened. In themorning several brethren prayed, and brother Craik spoke on the lastverses of Psalm xx. In the afternoon I addressed our Day and Sunday-Schoolchildren, the orphans and other children present. In the evening we hadanother prayer-meeting. There are now 17 children in the Orphan-House. 

May 3. I have now been for many days praying for the supply of our owntemporal wants, and for the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution;but, as yet, I have had not only no answers to my prayer, but our incomehas been less than usual, and we have had also but very little coming infor the funds of the Institution. We have not been able to put by ourtaxes, and expect them daily to be called for. My clothes also are nowworse than any I ever wore, and I have also but one suit. May 6. I havenow been for some years, and especially these last few months, more orless thinking and praying respecting publishing a short account of theLord's dealings with me. Today I have at last settled to do so, and havebegun to write. 

May 16. For these several weeks our income has been little; and though Ihad prayed many times that the Lord would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer remained unanswered. In the midst of it all, my comfort wasthat the Lord would send help by the time it would be needed. One thingparticularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our owntemporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely in any measurebeen able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. Today, the Lordat last, after I had many times prayed to Him for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being 7l. 12s. 0 1/4d. Given to me as my partof the free-will offerings through the boxes, two 5l. Notes having beenput in yesterday, one for brother Craik and one for me. Thus the Lord hasagain delivered us, and answered our prayers, and that not one single hourtoo late; for the taxes have not as yet been called for. May He fill myheart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may He be pleased toenable me more and more to trust in Him, and to wait patiently for Hishelp! May He also be pleased to teach me more and more the meaning of thatword, with reference to my own circumstances:--"Mine hour is not yet came. "

A third statement, containing the announcement of the opening of theOrphan-House for destitute female children, and a proposal for theestablishment of an Infant Orphan-House, was on May 18th, 1836, sent tothe press, and is here reprinted. 

Opening of the Orphan-House for Destitute Female Children, established inBristol, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Homeand Abroad; and Proposal for the Establishment of an Infant-Orphan-House. 

In a previous printed account, a statement has been given of the successwith which the Lord has been pleased to crown the prayers of His servant, respecting the establishment of an Orphan-House in this city. The subjectof my prayer was, that He would graciously provide a house, either as aloan, or as a gift, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one;further, that He would give me 1000l. For the object, and likewisesuitable individuals to take care of the children. A day or two after, Iwas led to ask, in addition to the above, that he would put it into thehearts of His people to send me articles of furniture, and some clothesfor the children. In answer to these petitions, 184l. 2s. 6d. And manyarticles of furniture and clothing were sent, a conditional offer of ahouse, as a gift, was made, and individuals proposed themselves to takecare of the children, the particulars of which have been given in thestatement already referred to, dated Jan. 16, 1836. I shall now proceed toshow how, since that time, the Lord has continued to answer my prayers. 

January 16, 1836, there was given 6d. , six yards of calico, three plates, a cup and saucer, and a jug. January 18, 4s. Jan. 19, a saucepan andsteamer, a tin dish, a teapot, some drugget; also 4d. , and 1s. Jan. 21. 1l. , also 5s. Jan. 22. 2s. 6d. Jan. 23. A brother gave 5s. , the firstfruits of the increase of his salary. Jan. 24. 5s. ; also 1l. , and 1l. Jan. 25. A brother promised to give 50l. Within a twelvemonth, with theparticular object of thus securing the payment of the rent of a house. Thus the Lord has answered the prayer respecting this point. There werealso given 1l. , 6d. And 4s. Jan. 27. A form was sent. Jan. 28. A dealtable was given, also, anonymously, were sent a coal box and 4s. , also abedstead. Jan. 29. Two little waiters, two candlesticks, two chandeliers, two night shades, a tin kettle, a warmer, a bread basket, a fire guard;also one dozen tin cups, six plates, and 1s. 6d. ; also 1s. , a water jug, six plates, a sugar basin, a teapot, a tea canister, and a knife. Jan. 30. A frying pan, a tea canister, a metal teapot, a tin dish, a pepper box, aflour scoop, a skimmer, a grater, two tin saucepans, a tin warmer, 55thimbles, five parcels of hooks and eyes; also 1l. Jan. 31. 5l. 5s. ; anold white dress and a fur tippet. 

February 1. 4s. , 2s. 6d. , also a sister in the Lord offered today to makethe bonnets for the children gratuitously, if any one would buy the straw, and that her husband would make a bedstead, if any one would buy the wood;she also mentioned that they would gladly give both the straw and thewood, if they had the means. Feb. 2. 6d. , 2d and out of the box in my roomwas taken 3s. Feb. 4. 2s. 6d. , 6d. ; also a desk and a kitchen table; therewas also promised a subscription of 8s. Annually. Feb. 5. 1s. 6d. Feb. 6. A brother sent 100l. , being induced to do so an having had the formerpaper read to him. Feb. 7. 1l. 2s. , 1s. , 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 3l. 10s. Feb. 8. A table and two chairs, 4s. , 5l. , also 30l. Wassent from Ireland; 10s. , 10s. , 1l. Feb. 9. 1l. , 4s. 1d. , 10s. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. , 1s. , 1s. , 1s. , 1d. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 1d. , 1s. Feb. 11. Three yards of print, 2s. 6d. , 5s. ; 5s. , 10s. Feb. 12. A clothes' horse, a coffee pot, and 1s. ;also a washing tub, a coffee mill, a pepper mill, two dozen pieced ofbobbin, three dozen stay laces, two dozen thimbles, two dozen bodkins, 300needles, a gridiron, six pots of blacking paste, a pound of thread, and alarge deal table. Feb. 14. 10s. , 1l. , put anonymously into Bethesda boxes, for the Orphan-House. Feb. 15. Two glass salt cellars, a mustard pot, avinegar cruet, and a pepper box, also 4s. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 2s. 6d. Feb. 16. 4d. 1s. , 4d. , Feb. 17. 5s. Feb. 18. A bedstead, and by two poorpersons, 2d. Feb. 19. There were sent from London 34 yards of print, sixyards of calico, one dozen pocket handkerchiefs, four pairs of stockings, and two New Testaments. Feb. 20. Two salt cellars, two mugs, two plates, also two pocket handkerchiefs. Feb. 21. 1l. Feb. 22. 4s. , 1s. Feb. 23. Twelve yards of gingham from two Swiss sisters. Feb. 25. 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. Feb. 28. 1l. Feb. 29. 1l. , 5s. , 4s. 

March 2. 1l. , 1s. , 1s. 6d. , 1s. , 1s. , 1s. , 1/2d. , 2s. , 1s. , 1s. , 2s. 6d. ;also out of the box in my room, 1l. 2s. 6d. ; two large iron pots were sentanonymously. March 4. 10l. , 10s. , 3s. , 7d. , 10s. , 2s. 6d. , 10s. , 10s. , 3s. ; all these offerings were sent from Clapham; also a desk. March 5. Some fancy worsted and 1s. , the produce of the sale of some old maprollers. March 7. 4s. , 10s. , 5s. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. , 2s. 6d. , 5s. ; all these offerings were sent from Cleve, also 5s. ; also, from adistance of about 100 miles, was sent the valuable and useful present offive pewter dishes, three dozen pewter plates, three dozen metal spoons, two coral necklaces, a pair of coral earrings, and a large gold brooch--thetrinkets to be sold for the benefit of the Orphan-House. Also from thesame place was sent 10s. "which had been laid up for a time of need, butwhich were sent because the donor thought that the time of trust in theLord in Bristol was her time of need to give. "

March 10. 8s. , 1s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 1d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 5s. , 2s. March 11. 1l. , 5s. March 13. A little girl sent, from a distance ofmore than 200 miles, 2s. 6d. March 14. A brother at Plymouth promised tosend 20l. , also 4s. Were given. March 15. 7d. , 10s. , 6d. , 1s. , 1s. , 1d. , 6d. March 16. 1s. ; anonymously was sent from London 1l. , also 2s. 6d. March 18. 10 s. March 19. 3s. , 1s. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. March 21. 4s. March22. 1l. March 23. A large deal box, also anonymously six dishes. March 24. 5s. March 25. A ton of coals. March 27. 1l. , 1l. , 1l. , 10s. ; theseofferings were sent from Trowbridge, also 10s. From the Isle of Wight, 2l. , 2l. , 1l. , 10s. , a large piece of green baize, and two metal spoons. March 28. 1l. , 4s. , 3d. , 31. , 10 s. , 6s. , 10 s. , 2s. 6d. , 5s. , 5s. , alsoan iron kettle and some drugget. March 29. 1s. 3d. , 1s. 3d. , 1s. , 1s. 6d. March 31. 2s. 

April 2. 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , also six blankets, two counterpanes, four sheets, eight bonnets, five frocks, six pinafores, with the promiseto send also six chemises (sent since). April 4. 4s. , 1s. , 1s. , 8d. , 1s. , 1d. , 1s. , 3d. , 6s. , 2s. 6d. , 1l. , 1l. , 3s. , also 14 tippets, threepinafores, one frock, three chemises (two more promised), six flannelpetticoats; also six stuff petticoats; also six flannel petticoats (andsix chemises promised), also a sheet. April 5. 2l. , 7s. , 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 1d. , 4d. , 6d. April 6. One dozen of washing basins and one jug. April7. 2s. 2d. , 3s. , 1s. , 2s. 2d. , 1s. 1d. April 8. 10s. , 10s. , 6d. , 1s. , 2s. , also a bench. April 9. 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 2s. , also three knives andforks, also some marking ink. April 10. Two patent locks. April 11. 4s. April 12. 1s. , 8d. , 2s. , a jug, also twelve bonnets and six tippets. April13. A set of fire irons, a tea kettle, a coal box, a tin saucepan, atripod, a tea pot, three cups and saucers, a wash-hand basin, three smallbasins, and two plates. April 15. 10s. , 10s. April 16. 5l. , also 1l. And22 Hymn Books. Also anonymously were sent two dozen pocket handkerchiefs, also a hymn, "The Orphan's Hope, " in a frame. April 17. A cask, also ahundred weight of treacle, and 36 pounds of moist sugar. 

April 18, 4s. April 19. 2s. 6d. , 1s. April 20. A new bedstead. FromClapham were sent 21l. And 11l. , likewise three flannel petticoats, someprint, six frocks, four pinafores, seven tippets, 12 caps, 14 chemises, 24furnished work bags, 12 pocket handkerchiefs, 16 pairs of stockings, onepair of sleeves; besides this, with an orphan child, was sent fromClapham, a complete new outfit. 

April 21. 2l. , 2s. , 1s. , 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 5s. , 2s. , also two candlesticks, a pepper box, and a handkerchief. April 22. 1s. , 10s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 23/4d. , also a long handled brush and 6d. , also an ironing blanket, and 32yards of flannel. April 23. 2l. , 5s. , 10s. , a cheese, and 18 pounds ofbeef. April 25. 1s. And eight plates. April 26. 6d. , 6d. , 5s. April 27. 10d. April 28. 1s. , also two tons of coal, also two patch-work quilts, 15work bags and pin-cushions, 12 needle cases, three little bags, onetippet, two pairs of stockings, one kettle holder, also six pairs ofworsted stockings. 

May 2. 8s. , 1l. , 10 s. May 3. 8d. , 2s. 6d. , and a pair of shoes. May 4. Agentleman and lady, who saw the Institution, left six chemises, sevenpocket handkerchiefs, two flannel petticoats, four pairs of stockings, andfour pairs of gloves; there were also sent 18 thimbles, a gross ofbuttons, a gross of hooks and eyes. May 5. 2s. 6d. , 1s. May 6. 15 pairs ofworsted stockings. May 7. 5s. , 2s. 6d. May 8. 5s. , 6d. , 2s. 6d. May 9. 4s. , 10s. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. May 10. 6d. , 4d. , 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 1d. , 4d. , 2s. May 11. 1l. , 2s. 6d. , 1s. May 13. A bonnet, also a dish, sent by apoor person in an almshouse; a well-wisher sent, for little orphan boys, six frock pinafores, six little shirts, six frocks and trousers. May 14. 9pounds of soap. May 15. S. S. 2s. 6d. May 16. 4s. May 17. Out of the boxin the Orphan-House, 3s. 0 1/2d. , also 1s. 

1. It may be well to state, that the above results have followed inanswer to prayer, without any one having been asked by me for one singlething, from which I have refrained, not on account of want of confidencein the brethren, or because I doubted their love to the Lord, but that Imight see the hand of God so much the more clearly. For as the work hasbeen begun without any visible support, in dependence only upon the livingGod, it was of the utmost importance to be sure of His approbation at thevery commencement. 

2. From this statement, and from that contained in the last printedaccount, it will be seen how the Lord, in a great measure, has alreadyanswered the petition of December 5, 1835; for a house has been given, suitable individuals have offered themselves to take care of the children, and much more furniture, and many more articles of clothing have been sentthan I ever had expected. The only part of the prayer, which has not beenas yet quite fulfilled, is, that which respects the 1000l. , which, however, the Lord, I doubt not, will likewise send in His own time. In themeantime, let my brethren help me to praise Him, that He has sent alreadymore than one half of that sum, and therefore more than for the presenthas been needed. 

3. So far as I remember, I brought even the most minute circumstancesconcerning the Orphan-House before the Lord in my petitions, beingconscious of my own weakness and ignorance. There was, however, one pointI never had prayed about, namely, that the Lord would send children; for Inaturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications. The nearer, however, the day came, which had been appointed for receivingapplications, the more I had a secret consciousness, that the Lord mightdisappoint my natural expectations, and show me that I could not prosperin one single thing without Him. The appointed time came, and not even oneapplication was made. I had before this been repeatedly tried, whether Imight not, after all, against the Lord's mind, have engaged in the work. This circumstance now led me to lie low before my God in prayer the wholeof the evening, February 3, and to examine my heart once more as to allthe motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that Hisglory was my chief aim, i. E. , that it might be seen that it is not a vainthing to trust in the living God, --and that my second aim was the spiritualwelfare of the orphan-children, --and the third their bodily welfare; andstill continuing in prayer, I was at last brought to this state, that Icould say from my heart, that I should rejoice in God being glorified inthis matter, though it were by bringing the whole to nothing. But asstill, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of God, toestablish and prosper the Orphan-House, I could then ask Him heartily, tosend applications. I enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning thesubject, and was also more assured than ever that God would establish it. The very next day, February 4, the first application was made, and sincethen 42 more have been made. 

4. The house mentioned in the last printed account, which we had intendedto rent, having been let before any applications had been made, andnothing more having been done about the premises offered as a gift, onaccount of the want of money needed to complete the building, I rented, atleast for one year, the house No. 6, Wilson Street, as being, on accountof its cheapness and largeness, very suitable, and in which, up to March25th, I had been living myself. Having furnished it for 30 children, webegan an April 11th, 1836, to take them in, and on April 21st theInstitution was opened by a day being set apart for prayer andthanksgiving. There are now 26 children in the house, and a few more areexpected daily. They are under the care of a matron and governess. 

5. In the last printed account it was mentioned that we intended to takein the children from the seventh to the twelfth year. But after sixapplications had been made for children between four and six years of age, it became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, aslong as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, thoughso young. For it appeared to me, that if it becomes the saints to care inthis way, according to their ability, for those whom God has bereaved ofboth parents, when they become seven years of age, that it becomes themequally so, to take care of them whilst they are under seven years, andtherefore completely unable to help themselves. Further, orphan childrenare often left to themselves, and thus, at the age of 11 or 12 years, havealready made much progress in wickedness. Therefore I came at last to theconclusion to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for whomapplication had been made. Further, there are exceedingly few institutionsin the kingdom, in which infant orphans are received, and provided withscriptural education. Further, it has been repeatedly brought before me, how desirable it would be to establish also in this city an orphan-housefor male children, and there were even the above-mentioned articles sentfor little orphan boys. Partly, then, on account of these reasons; andpartly, because the Institution already opened will be quite filled in afew days, and applications continue to be made; and partly, because theLord has done hitherto far above what I could have expected: I have atlast, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of theLord, and in dependence upon Him alone for support, to propose theestablishment of an Infant-Orphan-House. It is intended to open thisInstitution, as soon as suitable premises and individuals, to take care ofthe children, &c. , have been obtained. 

a. It is intended to receive into this Infant-Orphan-House destitute maleand female infants bereaved of both parents, from their earliest days upto the seventh year, and to provide them with food, clothing, needfulattendance, and Scriptural education. 

b. It is intended to let the female children stay up to the seventh yearin the Infant-Orphan-House, and then to remove them to the Institutionalready opened, till they are able to go to service. 

c. It is also intended, as far as the Lord may help, to provide for theboys, when they are above seven years, though we cannot at present say inwhat manner. 

In proposing the establishment of this second Orphan-House, I do it inthe same simple dependence upon God alone, as in the case of the former. And feeling my own weakness, and knowing that it is not in my power togive faith to myself, I ask the brethren to help me with their prayers, that my faith may not fail. 

6. To avoid misunderstandings, I would expressly state, that both thelast mentioned Institution, and the one already opened, are for orphanchildren living in any part of the United. Kingdom. 

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, May 18, 1836. 

June 3. From May 16 up to this day I have been confined to the house, anda part of the time to my bed, on account of a local inflammation, whichkeeps me from walking. Almost every day during this time I have been ableto continue writing a narrative of the Lord's dealings with me, which hadbeen again laid aside after May 7, on account of a number of pressingengagements. It is very remarkable, that the greatest objection againstwriting it for the press was want of time. Now, through this affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement tothe house, I have been able to write about 100 quarto pages. May the Lordin mercy teach me about this matter!

June 8. I am still getting better. The abscess is now open. Thisaffliction has been, by the mercy of the Lord, an exceedingly light one. Not one day have I had severe pain, and not one day have I been keptaltogether from working. June 9. I was able to go again today to theOrphan-House, and to read the Scriptures with the children. This day camethree more children, who have made up our number, so that there are nowthirty in the house. 

June 11. I am, by the mercy of God, still getting better, but, as yet, unable to walk about. All this week I have been again enabled to go onwriting for the press. June 12. Today the Lord very kindly allowed me topreach again, and that most undeservedly, and much sooner than I couldhave expected. June 14. This morning, brother C-r and I prayed unitedly, chiefly about the schools and the circulation of the Scriptures. Besidesasking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked the Lord for themeans which are needed; for on July 1, 17l. 10s. Will be due for the rentof school-rooms, and, besides this, we want at least 40l. More to go onwith the circulation of the Scriptures, to pay the salaries of themasters, &c. Towards all this we have only about 7l. I also prayed for theremainder of the 1000l. For the Orphan-House. 

June 18. We have had, for many weeks past, generally little money for ourpersonal expenses, which has been a trial to us, not on our own account, but because we have thus been able to do but very little for the poorbrethren. Today, Saturday, we have 3s. Left, just enough to pay for a flyto take me to and bring me back from Bethesda tomorrow, as I am unable towalk. This money we should not have had, but for our baker, a brother, whorefused today to take money for the usual quantity of bread, which wedaily take. 

June 21. This evening brother C-r and I found, that the Lord has not onlybeen pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in duringthe last week, in answer to our prayers, the 17l. 10s. Which will be duefor the rent of two school-rooms on July 1st, but that we have 5l. Morethan is needed. Thus the Lord once more has answered our prayers. 

June 25. Saturday. We have been again helped through this week, as itregards our personal need, and have 3s. Left, though we had many shillingsto pay for driving about. Now the Lord has put it into the hearts of someof His children, to provide me with a fly every Lord's-day, as long as Imay need it. 

July 1. Today a suit of new clothes was given to me, which came veryseasonably. May this fresh instance of the Lord's loving-kindness lead meto love Him more; and may He also be pleased richly to reward thosebrethren, who have thus ministered to my need! July 16. Today a brothersent me a new hat, the seventh which in succession has been given to me. 

July 28. For some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary ofthe masters and governesses a month in advance, but have been obliged topay it weekly. Brother C-r and I have lately prayed repeatedly togetherrespecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should nothave been able to pay even this weekly salary of the teachers, had not theLord most remarkably helped us again today. For besides 1l. Which wasgiven to us, this evening a brother gave 8l. , which sum had been made upby a number of his workmen paying weekly one penny each, of their ownaccord, towards our funds. The money had been collecting for many months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brotherto bring it. My faith has been greatly strengthened through thiscircumstance. For before today, though I have never been in the leastallowed to doubt the Lord's faithfulness, I did not understand His purposein His dealings with us of late, in not sending us more than we haveneeded just to be kept from stopping; and I have sometimes thought, whether it might not be His will, on account of my want of faithfulness inHis work, to decrease the field; but now I see, that notwithstanding myunworthiness, His allowing us to pray so frequently, was only that thedeliverance might be felt so much the more when it came. 

July 29. This evening from six to half-past nine we had again a meetingfor inquirers. There came twelve fresh cases before us, and there were sixmore than we could see. Thus we saw, that the work of the Lord, even as itregards conversion, is still going on among us. 

October 1. Today, in dependence upon the Lord alone for means, we engageda brother as a master for a sixth day school. Last Saturday, for the firsttime, we were so low in funds, that we needed 1l. More than we had, to paythe salaries a week in advance; but one sister, on account of the death ofher father, as we afterwards learned, was kept from calling for her money, and on the next day we received more than was needed to pay her. Onaccount, therefore, of the many deliverances which we have had of late, wehave not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys' school wasgreatly needed, there having been many applications for admission standingthese several months past. 

October 5. This evening 25l. Was given to me for the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution. Thus the Lord has already given the means of defraying theexpenses of the new boys' school for some months to come. 

October 19. Today, after having many times prayed respecting this matter, I have at last engaged a sister as matron for the Infant-Orphan-House, never having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual whoseemed suitable: though there has been money enough in hand for some timepast for commencing this work, and there have been also applications madefor several infant orphans. 

October 25. Today we obtained without, any trouble, through the kind handof God, very suitable premises for the Infant-Orphan-House. If we had laidout many hundred pounds in building a house, we could scarcely have builtone more suitable for the purpose. How evident is the hand of God in allthese matters! How important to leave our concerns, great and small, withHim; for He arranges all things well! If our work be His work, we shallprosper in it. 

November 30. On account, as I suppose, of many pressing engagements, Ihad not been led for some time past to pray respecting the funds. Butbeing in great need, I was led yesterday morning, earnestly to ask theLord, and in answer to this petition a brother gave me last evening 10l. He had had it in his heart for several months past, to give this sum, buthad been hitherto kept from it, not having the means. Just now, in thisour great necessity, the Lord furnished him with the means, and we werehelped in this way. In addition to this 10l. , I received last evening aletter with 5l. , from a sister whom I never saw, and who has been severaltimes used by God as an instrument to supply our wants. She writes thus:"It has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that I feelas if there must be some need, which the Lord purposes to honour me bymaking me the instrument of supplying. I therefore enclose you 5l. , all Ihave in the house at this moment; but if you have occasion for it, andwill let me know, I will send you as much more. " Besides these twodonations, I received today 3l. 3s. 

December 15. This day was set apart for prayer and thanksgivingrespecting the Infant-Orphan-House, which was opened on November 28. Inthe morning we had a prayer-meeting. In the afternoon, besides prayer andthanksgiving, I addressed the children of our day-schools and the orphans, about 350, on Ecclesiastes xii. 1. In the evening I gave a further accountof the Orphan-Houses, commencing from the time when the last printedaccount had been issued, dated May 18, 1836. The substance of this accountwas printed, and is reprinted here for the sake of those who are as yetunacquainted with it. 

Further account of the Orphan-House for Female Orphans above Seven Yearsof Age; and Opening of the Infant-Orphan-House, for destitute Male andFemale Orphans under Seven Years of Age. 

It is now a twelve-month since the proposal for the establishment of anOrphan-House was first made. Since then the Lord has given me almost all Irequested of Him, and in some respects even more. This was in part statedin the last two papers which were printed on this subject dated January16, and May 18, 1836. Of the 1, 000l. Which I had asked of God on December5, 1835, I had actually received on May 18, 1836, 450l. 13s. 6 3/4d. ; andbesides this, 70l. Had been promised by two brethren. As it regardspremises, articles of clothing, furniture, &c. , I had received even beyondmy petition. I have now the pleasure of detailing, still further, how Godhas continued to answer my prayer since May 18, 1836. 

May 19th was given 1l. 23rd 1l. And 4s. There were also sent two bucketsand 1s. 24th. , 10 s. 6d. , 2d. , 1s. 6d. 25th, one pound of butter, 2s. , 1s. , 1s. There was also sent 14s. , and in the paper was written: "Thehistory of this money is: A lady was going to purchase a dress. Theenclosed sum was the difference between the fashionable one, which tookher fancy, and one less fashionable. So she thought, the orphans shouldprofit by this sacrifice of her fancy. " May 27th, there was left at myhouse a sovereign, and in the paper was written: 1 Thess. V. 25. " [Pausewith me a few moments, dear reader, before going on with the account. Inpreparing the third edition for the press, I have been struck with thevery many cases in which individuals, who are spoken of in this narrative, are no more in the land of the living. So it is with the two donors of thelast mentioned sums. The dear sister who would not indulge her fancy inhaving a more fashionable dress, but who would rather give the fourteenshillings, which thus could be saved, to the orphans, has been with herLord for more than two years. Will she regret not having indulged herfancy in that instance? Will she now suffer loss on account of it? Surelynot!--The dear brother who gave the sovereign, was a gracious devotedclergyman of the City of Bristol. He had written in the paper in which thesovereign was enclosed, "1 Thess. V. 25. " ("Brethren, pray for us. ") Thisdear man of God does now no longer need our prayers. He entered into hisrest several years ago. Yet a little while, dear believing reader, and, ifthe coming of the Lord prevent not, we too shall fall asleep in Jesus. Therefore, let us work, "while it is day: the night cometh, when no mancan work. " And, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might:for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither thou goest. "--But how would it be with you, dear reader, if youare unprepared, and should be taken out of the world? Let me beseech youto seek the Lord while He may be found. Jesus died to save sinners. Heshed His blood. He fulfilled the law of God, and died the JUST for theUNJUST: and whosoever depends for salvation upon His perfect obedience, and upon His sufferings and death, shall be saved; for God has said it. ]May 28th, A fender and two coal scuttles. 29th, 5l. 30th, 4s. Also 2s. 6d. , with two gowns and a tippet. The brother who left a sovereign with "1Thess. V. 25, " gave today 10s. More; 2s. 4d. June 1st, from a few sistersin Dublin, nine pocket handkerchiefs, 19 1/2 yards of stuff, and forty-twoyards of print. 4th, 5s. 6d. , eighteen little books. 5th, 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. 6th, 4s. 7th, 5s. 1d. , 2l. 2s. 6d. 8th, 4d. , 1s. , 1s. , 3s. 9th, sixpairs of gentlemen's trousers, two coats, one waistcoat, five pairs ofsocks, two gowns--all worn. 10th, 1l. , also from a friend in Ireland 1l. 12th, S. S. 2s. 6d. 13th, 4s. , 5l. 14th, 1s. 1d. , 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 6d. , 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 3s. 3d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. 15th, a brother at Plymouthsent 25l. , 20l. Of which had been previously promised. 18th, 1l. , 1d. , 61/4 pounds of bacon, a form, a chopping knife. 19th, 1l. 1s. , 10s. ; 12s. By sale of ornaments. 20th, 4s. Also from Teignmouth, 5s. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 3l. , 10s. , 2s. 6d. , 1s. 1d. , 5s. , together witha gown, a boy's pinafore, a pair of socks, coloured cotton for threechildren's frocks, two babies' bed gowns, and five babies' night caps. 21st, 5l. 10s. , 6d. , 4d. , 2d. , 4d. , 2d. , 6d. , 6d. , twenty pounds of baconand ten pounds of cheese. 22d, box in the Orphan-House, 2s. 4d. 24th, 2s. 6d. , 3s. 8 1/2d. 27th, 4s. 28th, 2s. 6d. , 4s. , 4d. , 6d. , 10s. , 6s. 6d. 29th, six straw bonnets. 30th, 5s. , 2l. July 4th, 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4s. There was also sent from "two orphans" 48l. , 1s. 1d. , 10s. , 8s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 4d. 5th, 1s. , 1s. 2d. , 3d. , 4s. , 4d. , 1s. 6th, six new cane chairs. 7th, 2l. , 12s. , 10s. , 2s. 8th, 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 3s. 10th, 10s. , 10s. , 1l. , 1l. 11th, 8s. , 13s. 12th, 13s. 2d. 13th, 12s. 14th, there were sent six chemises, which had been promised on April 14th. Also fourteen pin cushions. 15th, six night caps and 2 petticoats. 20th, 10s. , 5s. , 1l. , 6d. , 2d. , 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 6d. , 4d. , 2d. , 4d. 24th, 1l. 25th, 8s. , S. S. 5s. Also 25 3/4 yards of print, 12 little shawls and 16yards of flannel. 26th, box in the Orphan-House 5s. 9d. , 4d. 27th, twopairs of shoes. 28th, 3s. 8 1/2d. 29th, 2s. 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. August1st, 4s. , 1l. 10. , two chemises, three night caps, and ten pockethandkerchiefs; two chemises, three night caps, and six pockethandkerchiefs. 2nd, 8d. , 1s. , 1s. 3d. , 1s. 3d. , 1s. , 1s. , 6d. . , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 1s. , 1d. , 1d. , one patch work quilt. 5th, 6s. 8th, 4s. 10th, a box, six canisters, and an inkstand, 13th, 5s. 15th, 1l. , S. S. 2s. 6d. , 4s. 16th, 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. , 6d. , 1s. , 1s. 6d. 19th, 1s. 2 1/2d. 23rd, 1s. , 10s. , 1l. , 2s. 6d. September 1st, 1s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. , 1s. , 4d. , 6d. , 4d. , 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 1s. 6d. , 6d. , 6d. , 2d. , 1l. , 1l. , twelvechemises, one worn stuff frock, 4d. , 4d. , a basket of apples, and threepounds of sugar. 3rd, 1l. , 5l. 5th, 12s. 7th, 5s. , 2s. 6d. 8th, 5s. 13th, 1s. , 1s. , 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 3d. , 1s. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 2d. , 6d. , 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 6d. 14th, 1l. , 10s. , 10s. , 14 pinafores, a basket of apples. 19th, 8s. , 2s. 6d. Box in the Orphan-House 1l. 6s. 11/4d. , 10s. 20th, 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 1d, 4d. 27th, several numbers of the"Record" were sent to be sold for the benefit of the Orphan-House, 4d. , 4d. , 2s. , 2s. 6d. 30th, 1l. Was given as "A Thank-offering for spiritualmercies vouchsafed to a child. " Also Mr. B-sen. , Surgeon, kindlyoffered, today, to give his attendance and medicine gratuitously to theorphans. October 1st, 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. A worn cloak. 3rd, 5s. , 3s. 3d. , 1s. A gallon of dried peas. 4th, 1l. 3s. 6d. 10th, 4s. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 1d. , 1s. 11th, 10s. , 2d. , 6d. , 3s. 3d. 14th, 4 1/2 gallons of beer. 16th, three tippets, 8d. , 4d. , 5s. , 5s. , 5s. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 10s. , 10s. , 2s. , 1s. , 1s. , 2s. 6d. , 5s. 17th, 4s. 18th, 10s. , 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 6d. , 1d. , 4d. , 1s. 19th, 1l. 24th, 4s. 25th, three frocks, twopinafores, two tippets, three pairs of sleeves, 10s. , 10s. , 4d. , 1s. 27th, three tippets. Anonymously was sent by post, 10s. , with the request thatprayer should be made for the donor, for divine guidance undercircumstances of much doubt and anxiety. 29th, 12 cloth tippets. 31st, 4s. November 2nd, 1s. 3d. , 1s. 3d. , 1s. 4th, two little cloaks, four quarternsof bread. 5th, two turkeys, 6d. , 4d. , 4d. , 4d. There was also given by abrother £100. --£50. Of which was previously promised, to ensure the rentfor premises. It is a remarkable fact concerning this donation, that Ihad, in December of last year, repeatedly asked the Lord to incline theheart of this brother to give one hundred pounds, and I made a memorandumof this prayer in my journal of December 12, 1835. On January 25th, 1836, fifty pounds was promised by him, and on November 5, fifty pounds besidesthat sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that Iremembered, that the very sum, for which I had asked the Lord, had beengiven. Thus we often may receive an answer to prayer, and scarcelyremember that it is an answer. When it came to my mind that this prayerhad been noted down in my journal, and I showed it to the donor, werejoiced together; he, to have been the instrument in giving, and I tohave had, the request granted. November 6th, S. S. 7s. 6d. 7th, anonymously was sent a ton of coals, 4s. , one petticoat, two pairs ofgloves, two ruffs. 8th, 5l. , 2s. 2d. , 3s. , 2s. 2d. , 2s. 2d. , 1s. 6d. , 2d. , 6d. , 1s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. , 2s. 6d. 14th, there was given 20l. For theOrphan-house, and 20l. For the Infant-Orphan-House. Both papers, in which the money was enclosed, contained these words: "If theLord prolongs the life of the unworthy giver of the enclosed, thesame sum will be given at Christmas. "--It has been more than onceobserved to me that I could not expect to continue to receive largesums; for that persons, when first such an institution is established, might be stirred up to give liberally, but that afterwards one had to lookto a number of regular subscribers, and that, ifthose were lacking, it was not likely that such awork could go on. On such occasions, I have said but little;but I have had the fullest assurance, that it is a small matterfor the Lord to incline donors to give liberally, a second orthird time, if it were for our real welfare. And accordingly the donor, above referred to, added to the first 50l. Another 50l. , and the lastmentioned benefactor, to the 50l. , given on a former occasion, addedthe just mentioned 40l. , with the promise to give another 40l. At Christmas. I would only add on this subject, that there aresome subscribers, and even some who give considerably; yetI would state, for the Lord's glory, that if they weretwenty times as many, I should desire that my eyes might not be directedto them, but to the Lord alone, and that I might be enabled to take thepayment of every subscription as a donation from HIM. On theother hand, if there were no subscribers at all, yet the Lord, whoheareth prayer, is rich to give according to our need. --Therewas given also today, "A widow's mite, " 10s. --also 4d. November14th, 4s. , also four ducks. For the Infant-Orphan-House, fivefrocks, four shirts, four chemises, a bed gown, two petticoats; threequarterns bread. 15th 6d. , 6d. , 4d. , 6d. , 4d. 16th, by sale of trinkets, 1l. 5s. , 4s. 18th, anonymously were sent a boy's cap, a bonnet, a smallpiece of print. 19th, four quarterns of bread. 21st, 4s. , 2s. 6d. 22nd, 4d. , 6d. , 6d. 23rd, three frocks, a tippet, six pairs of sheets, threepairs of blankets. 25th, 12 hymn books, a worn cloak, a new tent bedstead. 27th, anonymously put into Bethesda boxes 5s. 28th, 4s. 29th, two turkeys. 30th, 10s. , five yards of blanketing, a worn shawl. December 1st, apatch-work quilt and five yards of print, 3d. , 10s. 4th, 5l. 5s. 5th, 4s. , 1l. 5s. 6th, 6d. , 2d. , a worn cloak, a petticoat, a pieceof linen for window curtains. 8th, box in the Orphan-House2l. 4s. 1 1/2d. 9th, 1l. Also 1l. With "Mark ix. 36, 37, " written onthe paper. A most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which Ihad never felt before. --About a hundred weight of treacle. 

I. From this statement it appears, that 770l. 0s. 9 1/2d. Has beenactually given, and that 40l. Is promised. All the money, and all thearticles of furniture, clothing, provision, &c. , have been given, withoutone individual having been asked by me for anything, from which I havestill refrained, that the Lord's own hand might be clearly seen in thematter, and that the whole might clearly appear as an answer to prayer. 

II. After frequent prayer, that, if it were the will of God, He would bepleased to send us a Matron and Governess for the Infant-Orphan-House, this petition also has been answered. In addition to this we obtained aconvenient house for the purpose, No. 1, Wilson Street, together with apiece of ground for a play-ground; and we therefore began to furnish it onNovember 21st, and on November 28th we took in the first children. 

III. Of late it has appeared well to us to employ some of the strongestand eldest girls of the Orphan-House in the work of theInfant-Orphan-House, under the direction of the Matron andGoverness. From this plan it appeared the following advantages wouldresult. 1st. Thus the wages which we should have to pay to assistantswould be saved. 2nd. Without any further expense to the Institution, we should in this way be able to support five or six orphans more. 3rd. If thus the bigger girls of the Orphan-House pass through theInfant-Orphan-House, before they are sent into service, they will beaccustomed to nursery work, which is so important for young servants. 4th. This plan would allow us to have the bigger girls longer underour care, as we should have full employment for them. 

[In the original paper follow eight other paragraphs, containing theaudited account and various other points of information respecting the twoOrphan-Houses, which, at the time when this Report was issued, were ofimportance to the donors, but are left out now, as it seems desirable tomake this edition of the Narrative as concise as may be. This plan hasalso been adopted concerning the three previous papers, and will befurther adhered to. ]

GEORGE MÜLLER. 

Bristol, Dec. 20, 1836. 

December 31. We had this evening a prayer-meeting to praise the Lord forHis goodness during the past year, and to ask Him for a continuance of Hisfavours during the coming year. We continued together till half-pasteleven. During the past year there have been received into the church ofGideon, 23 brethren and sisters, and into that of Bethesda, 29--altogether52. Of these 52, 31 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord throughthe instrumentality of brother Craik and me. There have now been admittedinto Gideon Church, 79 brethren and sisters who have been convertedthrough our instrumentality, and 86 into the Church of Bethesda: 165 sealsto our ministry in Bristol. Besides this, several have fallen asleep inthe faith who never were in communion with us; several of our spiritualchildren are connected with other churches in and out of Bristol; and manyare now standing as hopeful characters on the list of candidates forfellowship. There have been added to the church of Gideon, since we cameto Bristol, 154; to the church at Bethesda, 193--altogether 347; so thatthe number of both churches would be 415 (68 believers we found atGideon), had there been no changes; but:

Of Gideon church are underchurch discipline 5; of Bethesda 8; altogether 13

Do. Have fallen asleep 15 do. 7 do. 22

Do. Have left Bristol 12 do. 6 do. 18

Do. Have left us, but arestill in Bristol . . 9 do. 4 do. 13

41 25 66

There are, therefore, at present, in fellowship with us at Gideon 181, and at Bethesda 168--altogether 349. 

The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, as it regardsmy temporal supplies:--

1. In offerings through the boxes £133 8s. 9d. 

2. In presents of money, from brethren in and out of Bristol £56 13s. 0d. 

3. Through family connexion £5 0s. 0d. 

4. Besides this have been sent to us clothes, provisions, &c. , which wereworth to us at least £30 0s. 0d. 

5. We have been living half free of rent during the last nine months, whereby we have saved at least £7 10s. 0d. 

Altogether £232 11s. 9d. 

January 2, 1837. This evening the two churches had again an especialprayer-meeting, which was continued till half-past ten. 

January 5. Today a sister called and told me about the conversion of herfather, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years livedopenly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the Lord. May thisencourage the children of God to continue to pray for their aged parentsand other persons; for this sister had long prayed for the conversion ofher father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the Lord gave herthe desire of her heart. It was an especial refreshment to my spirit tohear the particulars of this case, as I had known so much of the sinfullife of this aged sinner. 

January 31, and February 2. These two days we have had especial meetingsfor prayer and humiliation, on account of the influenza, to acknowledgethe hand of God in this chastisement, as the disease is so prevalent inBristol. 

April 8. There are now 60 Children in the two Orphan-Houses, 30 in each. 

April 22. The Lord has mercifully stayed the typhus fever in theOrphan-House, in answer to prayer. There were only two cases, andthe children are recovering. 

April 24. This evening we had a comfortable meeting with 30 brethren andsisters over the Word. (Of late brother Craik and I have frequently setapart an evening, generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty orthirty brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend the restof the evening in prayer and meditation over the Scriptures. We beganthese meetings chiefly on account of having thus an opportunity of seeingmore of the saints, as the greatness of the number of those in communionwith us makes it impossible to see them as often in their houses, as itmight be profitable, or as often as we desire. We commenced these meetingsin our own houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seenlittle. After we had had several meetings in our own houses, we wereinvited by the brethren and sisters, and they have asked others to meetus. Sometimes also we have proposed those for invitation whom we see butseldom. These meetings we have found both for ourselves and others veryuseful, and they will, no doubt, continue to be a blessing, as long as theLord shall enable us to precede and follow them with prayer. They are alsoparticularly important as a means of the brethren becoming acquainted witheach other, and of uniting their hearts. )

May 13. Today I have had again much reason to mourn over my corruptnature, particularly on account of want of gratitude for the many temporalmercies by which I am surrounded. I was so sinful as to be dissatisfied onaccount of the dinner, because I thought it would not agree with me, instead of thanking God for the rich provision, and asking heartily theLord's blessing upon it, and remembering the many dear children of God whowould have been glad of such a meal. I rejoice in the prospect of that daywhen, in seeing Jesus as He is, I shall be like Him. May 14. Lord's-day. The Lord, instead of chastising me today for the ingratitude anddiscontent, of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength in preaching, and bringing temporal want upon me, has given me a good day. I havepreached with much assistance and comfort, and the Lord has given me richtemporal supplies: for besides the freewill offerings of 2l. 8s. 10d. , a5l. Note was put into my hand for the supply of any want I may have. Thusthe Lord melted the heart by love, and made me still more see the basenessof my conduct yesterday. Thanks be to God, the day is coming, when Satanwill triumph no more!

May 18. There are now 64 children in the two Orphan-Houses, and two moreare expected, which will fill the two houses. 

May 28. The narrative of some of the Lord's dealings with me is now nearbeing published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, andrepeatedly since, to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to give me whatis wanting of the 1000l. , for which sum I have asked Him on behalf of theorphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so muchso, that I have repeatedly been able to thank God, that He will surelygive me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not beenough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan-House had beencommenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and thechurch there might be another visible proof, that the Lord delights inanswering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the 1000l. Wanting; and, as I earnestly desired, the book might not leave the press, before everyshilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without onesingle individual having been asked by me for any thing, that thus I mighthave the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in thisbook:--for these reasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly toprayer about this matter since May 21. On May 22 came in 7l. 10s. , and on May 23, 3l. On May 24 a lady, whom I never saw before, called onme and gave me 40l. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for theLord showed me thereby afresh His willingness to continue to send uslarge sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we havenever seen before. On May 26th 3l. 6s. Was sent, from two unexpectedquarters. On May 27 was sent anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes fromLondon and a sovereign. Today (May 28) I received again 4l. 3s. 6d. ; andalso a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containingseven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for thesupport of the orphans: 1 gold pin with an Irish pearl, 15 Irishpearls, 2 pine, 2 brooches, 2 lockets, 1 seal, 2 studs, 11 rings, 1 chain, and 1 bracelet, all of gold. 

June 15. Today I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting theremainder of the 1000l. This evening 5l. Was given, so that now the wholesum is made up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve, Iwould state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articlesof clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoingpages, have been given to me, without one single individual having beenasked by me for any thing. The reason why I have refrained altogether fromsoliciting any one for help is, that the hand of God evidently might beseen in the matter, that thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged moreand more to trust in Him, and that also those who know not the Lord, mayhave a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a vain thing to pray to God. Asthe Lord then has con-descended most fully, and even above myexpectations, to answer my prayers, arid to Fill my mouth (Psalm lxxxi. 10, ) will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the Lord, to praiseHim for His condescension. It is a wonderful thing that such a worthless, faithless servant as I am, should have power with God. Take courage fromthis for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I am, so littleconformed to the mind of Jesus, has his prayers answered, may not youalso, at last, have your requests granted to you. During eighteen monthsand ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. Fromthe moment I asked it, till the Lord granted it fully, I had never beenallowed to doubt that He would give every shilling of that sum. Often haveI praised Him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my request. The thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that webelieve that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24. "What things soever yedesire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall havethem. " But this I often find lacking in my prayers. Whenever, however, Ihave been enabled to believe that I receive, the Lord has dealt with meaccording to my faith. This moment while I am writing (June 28, 1837), Iam waiting on the Lord for 17l. 10s. , the rent for two school-rooms, whichwill be due in three days, and I have but 3l. Towards that sum. I believeGod can give; I believe God is willing to give it, if it be for our realwelfare; I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I cannot inthe triumph of faith praise Him beforehand, that He will assuredly give methis small sum. I am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ringat the bell, for help; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it;but as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of thoseschool rooms, as I should, if I had the money already in my pocket. 

As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as Iconsider it one of the particular talents which He has intrusted to me, toexercise faith upon His promises regarding my own temporal wants and thoseof others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above seven years of age seemsgreatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how toprovide for the little boys, in the Infant-Orphan-House when they areabove seven years of age; I purpose to establish an Orphan-House for aboutforty boys above seven years of age. But there are three difficulties inthe way, which must first be removed, before I could take any further stepin this work. 1. My hands are more than filled already through the workarising from the ministry of the Word, the attending to the ordering ofchurch affairs, and the oversight of 370 brethren and sisters. And yet, inaddition to this, I have also the work which comes upon me in connexionwith the six day-schools, a Sunday-school, an adult-school, the twoOrphan-Houses, and the circulation of the Scriptures. (This latter partof the work is more and more increasing; for merely within the last sevenmonths 836 copies of the Scriptures have been circulated). For thesereasons, then, I could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour, except the Lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward, could take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts, obtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving advice inordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses, attendingto the applications for admission of children in the Orphan-Houses, &c. But whether there is an Orphan-House for boys establishedor not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extentof the work is now, and I therefore lay it on the hearts of the believerswho may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother maybe found. 2. In addition to this, it would be needful, before I could takeany further step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, add othersuitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. 3. The third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it is the will ofGod that I should go forward in the Orphan-House is, that He provide themeans for such an enlargement of the work. Whilst, on the one hand I wouldconfess to the praise of God, that He has been pleased to give me faith totrust in Him; yet, on the other hand, I desire to be kept from presumptionand enthusiasm. I do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or tillthe Institution is endowed; but I must have such a sum given to me as isneeded to furnish a house for forty boys, and to clothe that number, andto have a little to begin with: without such a sum I should not considerit to be the will of God to enlarge the field. What I ask then from thebrethren who may feel interested in seeing an Orphan-House for boysestablished in Bristol is, that they would help me with their prayers, that if it be the will of God, He Himself would be pleased to remove thesethree difficulties out of the way. 

[Whilst the preceding pages of the first edition of this Narrative werein the press, and before the reception of the last proof sheet forcorrection, the same friend who gave me on May 24, 1837, Forty Pounds forthe orphans, and whom up to that time I had never seen, gave on July 12, 1837, Four Hundred and Sixty Pounds more, being altogether Five HundredPounds. ]

REVIEW OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, THE TIME THAT I HAVE

LABOURED IN BRISTOL WITH BROTHER CRAIK. 

JULY, 1837. 

I. Some of the mercies which the Lord has granted to us during this period. 

Concerning all this time I have most especially to say, that goodness andmercy have followed me every day. My blessings have been many and great, my trials few and small. To the praise of God I will mention a few of themany mercies which He has bestowed on me. 

1. I consider it one of the especial mercies that, amidst so manyengagements I have been kept in the ways of God, and that this day I haveas much desire as ever, yea more than ever, to live alone for Him, who hasdone so much for me. My greatest grief is that I love Him so little. Idesire many things concerning myself; but I desire nothing so much, as tohave a heart filled with love to the Lord. I long for a warm personalattachment to Him. 

2. I consider it likewise a great mercy, for which I can neversufficiently praise God, that, whilst during these last five years so manyof His children have fallen into great errors, and even those who once ranwell, I, who am so faithless to Him, should have been kept from them. There is scarcely one point of importance, comparatively speaking, respecting which I have had scriptural reason to alter my views, since Ihave come to Bristol. My views concerning the fundamental truths of thegospel are the same as they were at the end of the year 1829 though I havebeen more and more established in them during these last five years, andhave seen more minutely the mind of God concerning many truths. My relishfor the study of the word of God has not decreased. 

3. I consider it further an exceeding great mercy, that I have been keptin uninterrupted love and union with my brother, friend, andfellow-labourer, Henry Craik. Very few of the blessings that the Lord hasbestowed on him, on me, and on the two churches, whose servants we are, are of greater importance. There is not one point of importance, as itregards the truth, on which we differ. In judgment, as to mattersconnected with the welfare of the saints among whom we labour, we havebeen almost invariably at once of one mind. (Lord, to Thee is the praisedue for this!!!) We are as much, or more than ever united in spirit; andif the Lord permit, we desire to labour together till He come. Who thatknows the proneness in man to seek his own, and to get glory to himself;who that knows that the heart naturally is full of envy; who that isacquainted with the position which we both hold in the church, and theoccasions thereby occurring for the flesh to feel offended:--who thatconsiders these things will not ascribe our union, our uninterrupted unionand love, entirely to the Lord? Let the brethren among whom we labourpraise God much for it! Let the brethren everywhere, who may read this, praise God for it! This union has glorified God! This union has sprungfrom God! But, for this union we depend now as much as ever upon God, andtherefore let the brethren pray, that God in mercy would give us grace, toput aside every thing that might hinder it. 

4. We have had much joy on account of the scriptural conduct of many ofthe children of God among whom we labour. The two churches have on thewhole shown, in some measure, that even in our day there can be love amongthe brethren. I do not mean that we have been without trials on account ofthe behaviour of the saints under our care; nor do I mean to say, thateither we or they have followed Christ as we might or ought to have done;but only, that we have been mercifully kept hitherto from great divisions;that the cases in which acts of discipline were needed (as the list at theend of the last two years shows) were so few; that we have had much morejoy than sorrow on account of the brethren and sisters:--these arematters, worthy to be noticed among the special blessings which God hasbestowed on us during the last five years. 

5. Another mercy I mention is, that it has pleased God to keep us fromsome most awful characters, who either actually had proposed themselvesfor fellowship, or desired to do so, and who, so far as the testimony byword of mouth went, could fully satisfy us. From several such individualswho lived in open sin, we have been kept, by the Spirit constraining themto confess, and that, perhaps, even against their own will, their wickeddeeds, which they were practicing; in other instances we suspected them, and, on making inquiry, found out their sins. 

6. Another mercy which the Lord has kindly bestowed on us is, that thoughneither Brother Craik nor I am strong in body, yet we have been helpedthrough much work; and, at the time when we were laid aside, the Lord madeup our lack of service, either by sending help from without, or by puttinginto exercise the gifts of the brethren among us. At those seasonsdisunion might so easily have sprung up among the brethren; but the goodshepherd of the sheep watched so graciously over the flock, that they werekept together in much love and union, whereby also a testimony was givenfor God, that their faith stood not in the power of man. 

7. Sometimes, when particular trials were laid on us, and things appearedvery dark, the Lord most mercifully not only supported us under thosetrials, but also unexpectedly delivered us much sooner out of them, thanwe could have at all anticipated. May this especially encourage brethrenwho labour in word and doctrine, or who rule in the church, to trust inthe Lord in Seasons of peculiar trial!

8. My temporal wants have all these five years been most richly supplied, so that not once have I lacked the necessaries of life, and generally Ihave abounded; and all this without having one shilling of regular income. I am not tired of this way of living, nor have I even for once beenallowed to regret having begun to live in this way. 

II. The work of the Lord in our hands. 

1. It has pleased the Lord to continue to bless the word preached by usto the conversion of many sinners, and there seems to have been no periodduring these five years, in which this work has been stopped by Him. Therehave come again several cases before us lately, in which individuals havebeen recently brought to apprehend their lost state by nature, and to seethat Jesus of Nazareth alone can save them. The whole number of those whohave been converted through our instrumentality in Bristol, and who havebeen received into fellowship with us is 178; besides this, the Lord hasgiven us many seals to our ministry in this city, but the individuals arenow either only standing on the list of candidates for fellowship, or areunited to other churches in and out of Bristol, or have fallen asleepbefore they were united to us. 

2. The whole number of the brethren and sisters, now in fellowship withus, is 370: 189 at Gideon, 181 at Bethesda. 

3. It is now three years and four months since brother Craik and I began, in dependence upon the Lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of theGospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the HolyScriptures, and by aiding Missionary exertions. Since then there have beencirculated through our instrumentality 4030 copies of the Scriptures; fourDay-Schools for poor children have been established by us; 1119 childrenhave been instructed in the six Day-Schools, and 353 children are now inthose six Day-Schools. Besides this, a Sunday-School, and an Adult-Schoolhave been supplied with all they needed, and Missionary exertions in theEast Indies, in Upper Canada, and on the Continent of Europe, have beenaided. In addition to this the word of God has been preached from house tohouse among the poor, in connexion with the Scriptural KnowledgeInstitution, by brother C-r, within the last two years. 

4. There have been received into the Orphan-Houses 74 orphans, and thereare now 64 in them. 

And now, in conclusion, I would say that the reason, why I have spoken soplainly about the sins of my unconverted days, is, that I may magnify theriches of the grace of God, which has been bestowed on me, a guiltywretch. I have weighed much whether I should do so or not, knowing wellwhat contempt it may bring on me; but it appeared to me, after muchprayer, that as the object of this little work is to speak well of theLord, I should say in a few words what I once was, in order that it mightbe seen so much the more clearly, what He has done for me. I also judgedthat, in doing so, some, who live at present in sin, might see through myexample the misery into which sin leads, even as it regards the presentlife, and the happiness which is connected with the ways of God; and thatthey also might be encouraged through what God has done for me, to turn toHim. I have made myself therefore a fool, and degraded myself in the eyesof the inhabitants of Bristol, that you, my dear unconverted fellowsinners, who may read this, may, with God's blessing, be made wise. Thelove of Christ has constrained me to speak about my former lies, thefts, fraud, &c. , that you might be benefited. Do not think that I am a fool, and therefore I have told out my heart in my folly; but I have made myselfa fool for the benefit of your souls. May God in mercy, for His dear Son'ssake, grant that these pages may be a savour of life unto life to you!

The reason why I have spoken so plainly about some of the sins and errorsinto which I have fallen since my conversion, and about my answers toprayer, and the supplies of my temporal wants, and some of my familyconcerns, and the success which God has given to our labours, --is not, because I do not know that it is contrary to worldly custom, and againstthe interests of my worldly reputation; nor is it, as if I made light ofmy falls; nor as if I would boast in having had my prayers so oftenanswered, and having been in such a variety of ways used as an instrumentin doing the Lord's work; but, I have written what I have written for thebenefit of my brethren. I have mentioned some of my sins and errors, thatthrough my loss the brethren who may read this may gain. I have mentionedthe answers of prayer, that through them they may be encouraged to makeknown their requests unto God. I have spoken about my temporal supplies, that through seeing how richly God has supplied my temporal wants, sincethe commencement of 1830, when I left London, they may be stirred up "toseek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, " resting assured, that, in doing so, He will give them what is needful for the life that nowis. I have alluded to some family circumstances, that children of God maybe encouraged to cast their family burdens upon the Lord, in order that, in doing so, they may find Him carrying the burdens for them. And lastly, I have written about the success which God has been pleased to grant us inHis work, that it may be seen, that, in acting on scriptural principles, we have the Lord on our side, and that our mode of preaching is honouredby Him. If in anything which I have written I have been mistaken (and whathuman work is there which is free from error), I have been mistaken aftermuch prayer. Whilst writing I have often asked help of God. Whilstrevising the work, I have still again and again bowed my knees. I havealso frequently entreated the Lord to bless this feeble effort of mine tospeak to His praise, and I have not the slightest hesitation in saying, that, from the earnestness and comfort which I have enjoyed in prayer, andfrom the sincere self-examination of my heart, I know that God will blessthis little work. May I ask you then, my brethren and sisters, who havebeen benefited in reading this book, to help me with your prayers, that itmay be blessed to others. May I also ask you, my brethren and sisters, whothink I ought not to have published it, to ask God to bless that which youyourselves consider good and scriptural in it. 

And, now last of all, brethren beloved in the Lord, remember me in yourprayers. 

END OF THE FIRST PART