A GRANDMOTHER'S RECOLLECTIONS. BY ELLA RODMAN. 1851. A GRANDMOTHER'S RECOLLECTIONS. CHAPTER I. The best bed-chamber, with its hangings of crimson moreen, was openedand aired--a performance which always caused my eight little brothersand sisters to place themselves in convenient positions for beingstumbled over, to the great annoyance of industrious damsels, who, armedwith broom and duster, endeavored to render their reign as arbitrary asit was short. For some time past, the nursery-maids had invariablysilenced refractory children with "Fie, Miss Matilda! Your grandmotherwill make you behave yourself--_she_ won't allow such doings, I'll bebound!" or "Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Master Clarence? What willyour grandmother say to that!" The nursery was in a state of uproar onthe day of my venerable relative's arrival; for the children almostexpected to see, in their grandmother, an ogress, both in features anddisposition. My mother was the eldest of two children, and my grandmother, from theperiod of my infancy, had resided in England with her youngest daughter;and we were now all employed in wondering what sort of a person ourrelative might be. Mamma informed us that the old lady was extremelydignified, and exacted respect and attention from all around; she alsohinted, at the same time, that it would be well for me to lay aside alittle of my self-sufficiency, and accommodate myself to the humors ofmy grandmother. This to me!--to _me_, whose temper was so inflammablethat the least inadvertent touch was sufficient to set it in a blaze--itwas too much! So, like a well-disposed young lady, I very properlyresolved that _mine_ should not be the arm to support the venerable Mrs. Arlington in her daily walks; that should the children playfullyornament the cushion of her easy-chair with pins, _I_ would not turninformant; and should a conspiracy be on foot to burn the old lady'sbest wig, I entertained serious thoughts of helping along myself. In the meantime, like all selfish persons, I considered what demeanor Ishould assume, in order to impress my grandmother with a conviction ofmy own consequence. Of course, dignified and unbending I _would_ be; butwhat if she chose to consider me a child, and treat me accordingly? Theidea was agonizing to my feelings; but then I proudly surveyed my fivefeet two inches of height, and wondered how I could have thought of sucha thing! Still I had sense enough to know that such a supposition wouldnever have entered my head, had there not been sufficient grounds forit; and, with no small trepidation, I prepared for my first appearance. It went off as first appearances generally do. I _was_ to have beenseated in an attitude of great elegance, with my eyes fixed on the pagesof some wonderfully wise book, but my thoughts anywhere but in companywith my eyes; while, to give more dignity to a girlish figure, my hairwas to be turned up on the very top of my head with a huge shell comb, borrowed for the occasion from mamma's drawer. Upon my grandmother'sentrance, I intended to rise and make her a very stiff courtesy, andthen deliver a series of womanish remarks. This, I say, _was_ to havebeen my first appearance--but alas! fate ordered otherwise. I was caughtby my dignified relative indulging in a game of romps upon the balconywith two or three little sisters in pinafores and pantalettes--myself asmuch a child as any of them. My grandmother came rather suddenly upon meas, with my long hair floating in wild confusion, I stooped to pick upmy comb; and while in this ungraceful position, one of the littleurchins playfully climbed upon my back, while the others held me down. My three little sisters had never appeared to such disadvantage in myeyes, as they did at the present moment; in vain I tried to shake themoff--they only clung the closer, from fright, on being told of theirgrandmother's arrival. At length, with crimsoned cheeks, and the hot tears starting to my eyes, I rose and received, rather than returned the offered embrace, and foundmyself in the capacious arms of one whom I should have taken for an olddowager duchess. On glancing at my grandmother's portly figure andconsequential air, I experienced the uncomfortable sensation of utterinsignificance--I encountered the gaze of those full, piercing eyes, andfelt that I was conquered. Still I resolved to make some struggles formy dignity yet, and not submit until defeat was no longer doubtful. People in talking of "unrequited affection, " speak of "the knell ofdeparted hopes, " but no knell could sound more dreadful to theears of a girl in her teens--trembling for her scarcely-fledgedyoung-lady-hood--than did the voice of my grandmother, (and it was by nomeans low), as she remarked: "So this is Ella. Why, how the child has altered! I remember her only asa little, screaming baby, that was forever holding its breath withpassion till it became black in the face. Many a thumping have I givenyou, child, to make you come to, and sometimes I doubted if your faceever would be straight again. Even now it can hardly be said to belongto the meek and amiable order. " Here my grandmother drew forth her gold spectacles from arichly-ornamented case, and deliberately scanned my indignant features, while she observed: "Not much of the Bredforth style--quite anArlington. " I drew myself up with all the offended dignity of sixteen, but it was of no use; my grandmother turned me round, in much the samemanner that the giant might have been supposed to handle Tom Thumb, andsurveyed me from top to toe. I was unable to discover the effect of her investigation, but Iimmediately became convinced that my grandmother's opinion was one ofthe greatest importance. She possessed that indescribable kind of mannerwhich places you under the conviction that you are continually doing, saying, or thinking something wrong; and which makes you humbly obligedto such a person for coinciding in any of your opinions. Instead of thedignified part I had expected to play, I looked very like a naughtychild that has just been taken out of its corner. The impression leftupon my mind by my grandmother's appearance will never be effaced; herwhole _tout ensemble_ was peculiarly striking, with full dark eyes, high Roman nose, mouth of great beauty and firmness of expression, andteeth whose splendor I have never seen equalled--although she was thenpast her fiftieth year. Add to this a tall, well-proportioned figure, and a certain air of authority, and my grandmother stands before you. As time somewhat diminished our awe, we gained the _entrée_ of mygrandmother's apartment, and even ventured to express our curiosityrespecting the contents of various trunks, parcels, and curious-lookingboxes. To children, there is no greater pleasure than being permitted tolook over and arrange the articles contained in certain carefully-lockedup drawers, unopened boxes, and old-fashioned chests; stray jewels frombroken rings--two or three beads of a necklace--a sleeve or breadth ofsomebody's wedding dress--locks of hair--gifts of schoolgirlfriendships--and all those little mementoes of the past, that lieneglected and forgotten till a search after some mislaid article bringsthem again to our view, and excites a burst of feeling that causes us tolook sadly back upon the long vista of departed years, with theirwithered hopes, never-realized expectations, and fresh, joyous tone, seared by disappointment and worldly wisdom. The reward of patient toiland deep-laid schemes yields not half the pleasure that did the littleIndian cabinet, (which always stood so provokingly locked, and justwithin reach), when during a period of convalescence, we were permittedto examine its recesses--when floods of sunlight danced upon the wall ofthe darkened room towards the close of day, and every one seemed _so_kind! My grandmother indulged our curiosity to the utmost; now a pair ofdiamond ear-pendants would appear among the soft folds of perfumedcotton, and flash and glow with all the brilliancy of former days--now arich brocaded petticoat called up phantoms of the past, when ladies worehigh-heeled shoes, and waists of no size at all--and gentlemen feltmagnificently attired in powdered curls and cues, and as many ruffles aswould fill a modern dressing gown. There were also fairy slippers, curiously embroidered, with neatly covered heels; and anxious to adornmyself with these relics of the olden time I attempted to draw one on. But like the renowned glass-slipper, it would fit none but the owner, and I found myself in the same predicament as Cinderella's sisters. Invain I tugged and pulled; the more I tried, the more it wouldn't goon--and my grandmother remarked with a sigh, that "people's feet werenot as small as they were in old times. " I panted with vexation; for Ihad always been proud of my foot, and now put it forward that mygrandmother might see how small it was. But no well-timed complimentsoothed my irritated feelings; and more dissatisfied with myself thanever, I pursued my investigations. My grandmother, as if talking to herself, murmured: "How little do weknow, when we set out in life, of the many disappointments before us!How little can we deem that the heart which then is ours will changewith the fleeting sunshine! It is fearful to have the love of alife-time thrown back as a worthless thing!" "Fearful!" I chimed in. "Death were preferable!" "You little goose!" exclaimed my grandmother, as she looked me full inthe face, "What can _you_ possibly know about the matter?" I had nothing to do but bury my head down low in the trunk I wasexploring; it was my last attempt at sentiment. My grandmother tookoccasion to give me some very good advice with respect to the behaviorof hardly-grown girls; she remarked that they should be careful not toengross the conversation, and also, that quiet people were always moreinteresting than loud talkers. I resolved to try my utmost to be quietand interesting, though at the same time it did occur to me as a littlestrange that, being so great an admirer of the species, she was notquiet and interesting herself. But being quiet was not my grandmother'sforte; and it is generally understood that people always admire whatthey are not, or have not themselves. CHAPTER II. The old lady also possessed rather strict ideas of the respect anddeference due to parents and elders; and poor mamma, whose authority didnot stand very high, felt considerable relief in consequence of our, (or, as I am tempted to say, _the children's_) improved behavior. Iremember being rather startled myself one day, when one of thebefore-mentioned little sisters commenced a system of teazing for someforbidden article. "Mother, mother, --can't I have that set of cards? We want it in ourplay-room--Phemie and me are going to build a house. " "I do not like to give you permission, " replied mamma, lookingconsiderably worried, "for George does not wish you to have them. " "Oh, but George is out, mother--out for all day, " rejoined theprecocious canvasser, "and will never know anything about it. " "But perhaps he might come home before you had done with them, andGeorge is so terribly passionate, and hates to have his things touched, that he will raise the whole house. " "Poor boy!" observed my grandmother dryly, "What a misfortune to be sopassionate! A deep-seated, and, I fear, incurable one, Amy; for ofcourse you have used your utmost endeavors, both by precept and example, to render him otherwise. " I almost pitied my mother's feelings; for well did I remember thecried-for toy placed within his hands, to stop the constant successionof screams sent forth by a pair of lungs whose strength seemedinexhaustible--the comfort and convenience of the whole familydisregarded, not because he was the _best_, but the _worst_ child--andoften the destruction of some highly-prized trinket or gem of art, because he was "_passionate_;" the result of which was, that my poorbrother George became one of the most selfish, exacting, intolerableboys that ever lived. There was no reply, save a troubled look; and the little tormentorcontinued in a fretful tone; "We'll put 'em all away before he gets in, and never tell him a word of it--can't we have them, mother?" My mother glanced towards her mentor, but the look which she metimpelled her to pursue a course so different from her usual one, that Ilistened in surprise: "No, Caroline, you can _not_ have them--now leavethe room, and let me hear no more about it. " "I want them, " said the child in a sullen tone, while she turned to thatinvariable resource of refactory children who happen to be near a door;namely, turning the knob, and clicking the lock back and forth, andswinging on it at intervals. This performance is extremely trying to a person of restless, nervoustemperament, and my grandmother, setting up her spectacles, exclaimedcommandingly: "Caroline, how dare you stand pouting there? Did you nothear your mother, naughty girl? Leave the room--this instant?" The child stood a moment almost transfixed with surprise; but as she sawmy grandmother preparing to advance upon her--her ample skirts andportly person somewhat resembling a ship under full sail--she maderather an abrupt retreat; discomposing the nerves of a smallnursery-maid, whom she encountered in the passage, to such a degreethat, as the girl expressed it, "she was took all of a sudden. " I had given a quick, convulsive start as the first tones fell upon myear, and now sat bending over my sewing like a chidden child, almostafraid to look up. I was one of those unlucky mortals who bear the blameof everything wrong they witness; and having, in tender infancy, beensuddenly seized upon in Sunday school by the superintendent, and placedin a conspicuous situation of disgrace for looking at a companion whowas performing some strange antic, but who possessed one of thoseindia-rubber faces that, after twisting themselves into all possible, orrather impossible shapes, immediately become straight the moment anyone observes them--having, I say, met with this mortifying exposure, itgave me a shock which I have not to this day recovered; and I cannot nowsee any one start up hastily in pursuit of another without fancyingmyself the culprit, and trembling accordingly. This sudden movement, therefore, of my grandmother's threw me into an alarming state ofterror, and, quite still and subdued, I sat industriously stitching, allthe morning after. "Dear me!" said my mother with a sigh, "how much better you make themmind than I can. " "I see, Amy, " said my grandmother kindly, "that your influence is veryweak--the care of of so large a family has prevented you from attendingto each one properly. You perceive the effect of a little well-timedauthority, and I do not despair of you yet. You are naturally, " shecontinued, "amiable and indolent, and though gentleness is certainlyagreeable and interesting, yet a constant succession of sweets cannotfail to cloy, and engender a taste for something sharper and morewholesome. " Delicacy prevented me from remaining to hear my mother advised andlectured, and the rest of my grandmother's discourse was therefore lostto me; but whatever it was, I soon perceived its beneficial results--thechildren were no longer permitted to roam indiscriminately through allparts of the house--certain rooms were proof againt theirinvasions--they became less troublesome and exacting, and far morecompanionable. The worried look gradually cleared from my mother's brow, and as my grandmother was extremely fond of sight-seeing, visiting, tea-drinkings, and everything in the shape of company, she persevered indragging her daughter out day after day, until she made her enjoy italmost as much as herself. Old acquaintances were hunted up and broughtto light, and new ones made through the exertions of my grandmother, who, in consequence of such a sociable disposition, soon became verypopular. The young ones were banished to the nursery; and, as they wereno longer allowed to spend their days in eating, there was far lesssickness among them, and our family doctor's bill decreased amazingly. Our grandmother, having spent many years in the "mother-country, " wasextremely English in her feelings and opinions, and highly advocated thefrugal diet on which the children of the higher classes are always kept. Lord and Lady Grantham, the son-in-law and daughter at whose residenceshe passed the time of her sojourn in England, were infallible models ofexcellence and prudence; and the children were again and again informedthat their little English cousins were never allowed meat until the ageof seven, and considered it a great treat to get beef broth twice aweek. Butter was also a prohibited article of luxury--their usualbreakfast consisting of mashed potatoes, or bread and milk; and mygrandmother used to relate how one morning a little curly-headed thingapproached her with an air of great mystery, and whispered: "What _do_you think we had for breakfast?" "Something very good, I suspect--whatcan it be?" "Guess. " "O, I cannot; you must tell me. " "_Butteredbread_!" Our laughter increased as she gave an amusing account of theblue eyes stretched to their utmost extent, as these wonderful wordswere pronounced hesitatingly, as though doubtful of the effect; and inconsequence of various anecdotes of the same nature, the children'simpressions of England were by no means agreeable. Our little cousinsmust certainly have been the most wonderful children ever heard of, forby my grandmother's account, they could dance, sing, and speak Frenchalmost as soon as they could walk. She also informed us, as a positivefact, that on saying: "_Baisez, Cora--baisez la dame_, " the very baby inarms put up its rosebud lips to kiss the stranger mentioned. It wouldhave been stranger still for the younger children to speak English, asthey were always in the company of French nurses. Although my grandmother could so easily assume a stern and commandingair, it was by no means habitual to her; and the children, though theyfeared and never dared to dispute her authority, soon loved her with allthe pure, unselfish love of childhood, which cannot be bought. "Thingswere not so and so when I was young, " was a favorite remark of hers; andas I one day remarked that "those must have been wonderful times whenold people were young, " she smiled and said that "though not wonderful, they were times when parents and teachers were much more strict withchildren than they are now. " I immediately experienced a strong desireto be made acquainted with the circumstances of my grandmother'schildhood, and began hinting to that effect. "Were they very strict with you, grandmother?" asked we mischievously. She looked rather disconcerted for a moment, and then replied with asmile: "Not very--I saw very little of my parents, being mostly left tonurses and servants; but you all seem eager for information on thatpoint, and although there is absolutely nothing worth relating, you mayall come to my room this evening, and we will begin on the subject of myyounger days. " We swallowed tea rather hastily, and danced off in high glee to mygrandmother's apartment, ready for the unfolding of unheard-ofoccurrences and mysteries. CHAPTER III. We were all happily seated around the fire; the grate was piled up highwith coal, and threw a bright reflection upon the polishedmarble--everything was ready to begin, when a most unfortunate questionof my sister Emma's interfered with our progress. She had settledherself on a low stool at my grandmother's feet, and while we all sat insilent expectation of the "once upon a time, " or "when I was young, "which is generally the prelude to similar narratives, Emma suddenlystarted up, and fixing an incredulous gaze upon our dignified relative, exclaimed: "But were you _ever_ young, grandmother? I mean, " shecontinued, a little frightened at her own temerity, "were you ever aslittle as I am now?" Some of us began to cough, others used their pocket-handkerchiefs, andone and all waited in some anxiety for the effect. Emma, poor child!seemed almost ready to sink through the floor under the many astonishedand reproving glances which she encountered; and my grandmother'scountenance at first betokened a gathering storm. But in a few moments this cleared up; and ashamed of her momentary angerat this childish question, she placed her hand kindly on Emma's head asshe replied: "Yes, Emma, quite as little as you are--and it is of thosevery times that I am going to tell you. I shall not begin at thebeginning, but speak of whatever happens to enter my mind, and acomplete history of my childhood will probably furnish employment for agreat many evenings. But I am very much averse to interruptions, and ifyou have any particular questions to ask, all inquiries must be madebefore I commence. " "Were you born and did you live in America?" said I. "Yes, " replied my grandmother, "I was born and lived in America, in theState of New York. So much for the locality--now, what next?" "Did you ever see Washington?" inquired Bob, "And were you ever takenprisoner and had your house burned by the British?" Bob was a great patriot, and on Saturdays practised shooting in theattic with a bow and arrow, to perfect himself against the time of hisattaining to man's estate, when he fully intended to collect an army andmake an invasion on England. As an earnest of his hostile intentions, hehad already broken all the windows on that floor, and nearlyextinguished the eye of Betty, the chambermaid. To both of thesequestions my grandmother replied in the negative, for she happened tocome into the world just after the Revolution; but in answer to Bob'slook of disappointment, she promised to tell him something about it inthe course of her narrative. "My two most prominent faults, " said she, "were vanity and curiosity, and these both led me into a great many scrapes, which I shall endeavorto relate for your edification. I shall represent them just as theyreally were, and if I do not make especial comments on each separatepiece of misconduct, it is because I leave you to judge for yourselves, by placing them in their true light. I shall not tell you the year I wasborn in, " she continued, "for then there would be a counting on certainlittle fingers to see how old grandmamma is now. When I was a child--a_very_ young one--I used to say that I remembered very well the day onwhich I was born, for mother was down stairs frying dough-nuts. Thisnondescript kind of cake was then much more fashionable for thetea-table than it is at the present day. My mother was quite famous forher skill in manufacturing them, and my great delight was to superintendher operations, and be rewarded for good behavior with a limitedquantity of dough, which I manufactured into certain uncouth images, called 'dough-nut babies. ' Sometimes these beloved creations of geniusperformed rather curious gymnastics on being placed in the boilinggrease--such as twisting on one side, throwing a limb entirely overtheir heads, &c. ; while not unfrequently a leg or an arm was foundmissing when boiled to the requisite degree of hardness. But sometimes, oh, sad to relate! my fingers committed such unheard-of depredations inthe large bowl or tray appropriated by my mother, that I was sentencedto be tied in a high chair drawn close to her side, whence I couldquietly watch her proceedings without being able to assist her. I know that our home was situated in a pleasant village which has longsince disappeared in the flourishing city; the house was of white brick, three stories high, with rooms on each side of the front entrance. Alarge and beautiful flower-garden was visible from the back windows; andbeyond this was a still larger fruit-garden, the gate of which wasgenerally locked, while a formidable row of nails with the points up, repelled all attempts at climbing over the fence. The peaches, andplums, apricots, nectarines, grapes, cherries, and apples were such as Ihave seldom, if ever, seen since. My lather was wealthy, and my earliestrecollections are connected with large, handsomely-furnished rooms, numerous servants, massive plate, and a constant succession ofdinner-parties and visitors. How often have I watched the servants asthey filled the decanters, rubbed the silver, and made otherpreparations for company, while I drew comparisons between the lot ofthe favored beings for whom these preparations were made, and my own, onbeing condemned to the unvarying routine of the nursery. Childhood thenappeared to me a kind of penance which we were doomed to undergo--a sortof imprisonment or chrysalis, which, like the butterfly, left us in afairy-like and beautiful existence. Little did I then dream of thecares, and toils, and troubles from which that happy season is exempt. My father realized in his own person, to the fullest extent, all thetraditionary legends of old English hospitality; he hated everythinglike parsimony--delighted to see his table surrounded with visitors--andin this was indulged to the extent of his wishes; for day after dayseemed to pass in our being put out of sight, where we could witness thepreparations going on for other people's entertainment. The presiding goddess in our region of the house was a faithful andattached old nurse, whom we all called 'Mammy. ' Although sometimes alittle sharp, as was necessary to keep such wild spirits in order, theold nurse was invariably kind, and even indulgent. It was well indeedfor us that she was so, for we were left almost entirely to herdirection, and saw very little of any one else. Mammy's everyday attireconsisted of a calico short-gown, with large figures, and a stuffpetticoat, with a cap whose huge ruffles stood up in all directions;made after a pattern which I have never since beheld, and in which thecrown formed the principal feature. But this economical dress was notfor want of means; for Mammy's wardrobe boasted several silk gowns, andvisitors seldom stayed at the house without making her a present. Ongreat occasions, she approached our beau-ideal of an empress, byappearing in a black silk dress lace collar, and gold repeater at herside. This particular dress Mammy valued more highly than any of theothers, for my father had brought it to her, as a present, from Italy, and the pleasant consciousness of being recollected in this manner byher master was highly gratifying to the old nurse. I was an only daughter, with several wild brothers, and I often thoughtthat Mammy displayed most unjust partiality. For instance, there wasFred who never did anything right--upset his breakfast, dinner, andtea--several times set the clothes-horse, containing the nurserywardrobe, in a blaze--was forever getting lost, and, when sought for, often found dangling from a three-story window, hanging on by twofingers, and even one--who would scarcely have weighed a person's lifein the scale with a successful joke--and always had a finger, foot, oreye bound up as the result of his hair-brained adventures. I reallybelieve that Mammy bestowed all a mother's affection on this wild, reckless boy; he seldom missed an opportunity of being impertinent, andyet Mammy invariably said that 'Fred had a saucy tongue, but a goodheart. ' This _good-heartedness_ probably consisted in drowning kittens, worrying dogs, and throwing stones at every bird he saw. Fred always hadthe warmest seat, the most thickly-buttered bread and the largest pieceof pie. I remember one day on watching Mammy cut the pie, I observed, asusual, that she reserved the largest piece. "Who is that for?" I enquired, although perfectly aware of its intendeddestination. "O, no one in particular, " replied Mammy. "Well then" said I, "I believe I'll take it. " "There! there!" exclaimed Mammy, pointing her finger at me, "See thegreedy girl! Now you shall not have it, just for asking for it. " Thedisputed piece was immediately deposited on Fred's plate; and from thatday forth I gave up all hopes of the largest piece of pie. O, that Fred was an imp! There was nothing in the shape of mischief, which he would not do. If left to amuse the baby, he often amusedhimself by tying a string to its toe, and every now and then giving it asudden pull. The child would cry, of course, and, on the approach of anyone, Master Fred sat looking as demure as possible, while trying to keephis little brother quiet. The string would then be twitched again forhis own private edification; and it was sometime before the trick wasdiscovered. My brother Henry had at one time several little chickens, ofwhich he became very fond. Day after day he fed, admired, and caressedthem; and Fred, who never could bear to see others happy long, began torevolve in his own mind certain plans respecting the chickens. One byone they disappeared, until the number decreased alarmingly; but notraces of them could be found. We were questioned, but, as all deniedthe charge, the culprit remained undiscovered, although strongsuspicions rested on Fred. At last the indignant owner came upon him oneday, as he stood quietly watching the struggles of two little chickensin a tub of water. Henry bitterly exclaimed against this cruelty, butFred innocently replied that "he had no hand in the matter; he hadthought, for some time, how much prettier they would look swimming likeducks, and therefore tried to teach them--but the foolish thingspersisted in walking along with their eyes shut, and so got drowned. " But one of Fred's grand _coup-d'oeils_ was the affair of thecherry-pie. In those days ladies attended more to their householdaffairs than they do at present; and my mother, an excellenthousekeeper, was celebrated for her pastry--cherry-pies in particular. It was the Fourth of July; the boys were released from school, androaming about in quest of mischief as boys always are--and, as a rarething, we had no company that day, except my aunt, who had come from adistance on a visit to my mother, while my father had gone to return oneof the numerous visits paid him. Cherry-pie was a standing dish at ourhouse with which to celebrate the Declaration of Independence. Theservants had all gone out for a holiday, no dinner was cooked, and thesole dependence was on the cherry-pie. They sat down to dinner, and I heard my mother say: "Now, sister Berthy, I really hope you will enjoy this pie, for I bestowed extra pains uponit, and placed it up in the bed-room pantry out of the boys' reach, whoare very apt to nibble off the edge of the crust. This time, I see, theyhave not meddled with it. " The pie was cut; but alas! for the hollowness of human triumphs; theknife met a wilderness of crust and vacancy, but no cherries. Thebed-room pantry had a window opening on a shed, and into that windowFred, the scape-grace, had adroitly climbed, carefully lifted the uppercrust from the cherished pie, and abstracted all the cherries. My motherlocked him up, for punishment, but having unfortunately selected a sortof store-room pantry, he made himself sick with sweetmeats, broke allthe jars he could lay hands on, and, finally, discovering a pair ofscissors, he worked at the lock, spoiled it, and let himself out. At one time, being rather short of cash, he helped himself to afive-dollar bill from my mother's drawer; but even _his_ consciencescarcely resting under so heavy an embezzlement, he got it changed, tookhalf a dollar, and then put the rest back in the drawer. Thisconsiderateness led to a discovery; they all knew that no one but Fredwould have been guilty of so foolish, and at the same time so dishonesta thing. My favorite brother was Henry; just three years older than myself, manly, amiable, and intellectual in his tastes, he appeared to meinfinitely superior to any one I had ever seen; and we two were almostinseparable. In winter he always carried me to school on his sled, sawthat Fred did not rob me of my dinner, and was always ready to explain adifficult lesson. He was an extremely enterprising boy, with aninexhaustible fund of ingenuity and invention; but, like most geniuses, received more blame than praise. When quite small he constructed a sortof gun made of wood, which would discharge a small ball of paper, pebble, &c. This became a very popular plaything in the nursery, and foronce the inventor received due praise, on account of its keeping thechildren so quiet. But one day Fred undertook to teach the year old babythe art of shooting with it; and with a small corn for a bullet, heplaced the toy in the child's hands, turning the mouth the wrong way. The young soldier pulled the trigger in delight, and by some strangemischance, the corn flew up his nose. The doctor was hastily brought, the child relieved with a great deal of difficulty, the dangerousplaything burned, and poor Henry sent to coventry for an unlimited time. CHAPTER IV. We had a girl named Jane Davis whom my mother had brought up fromchildhood. At the period to which I refer, she could not have been morethan fourteen, and as she was always good-humored and willing to oblige, she became a general favorite. Often, in the early winter evenings, withthe nursery as tidy as hands could make it, (for Mammy, although not anold maid, was a mortal enemy to dirt and slovenliness) we all gatheredround the fire, while the old nurse and Jane spun out long stories, sometimes of things which had happened to them, sometimes of thingswhich had happened to others, and often of things that never did orcould happen to anybody. But I must do them the justice to say, thatalthough they sometimes related almost impossible occurrencies, theynever, on any one occasion, took advantage of their influence over us toenforce our obedience by frighful tales of old men with bags, who seemto have an especial fancy for naughty children. The nearest approachthat Mammy ever made to anything of this kind was to tell us, when webegan to look sleepy, that the sandman had been along and filled oureyes. On receiving this information, we generally retired peaceably tobed, without being haunted by any fears of ghost or goblin. There was a wealthy and fashionable family who lived just opposite, consisting of a widower, his sister, and two children--a son anddaughter. They lived in most extravagant style, and Jane positivelyassured us that the housekeeper had told her with her own lips thatthere was no end to Mr. Okeman's wealth, and that he even made hisdaughter eat bank-bills on her bread and butter! Whether the son wasexempted from this disagreeable performance we never thought ofinquiring; but our awe rose ten percent, for a girl who was so rich asabsolutely to devour money. On being divulged, this grand secret amusedthe inmates of the drawing-room very much, and our parents couldscarcely command their countenances to undeceive us. Jane Davis remained with us as nursery-maid until she was eighteen, whenmy mother, who was always extremely kind to servants and dependants, placed her at a trade, and supported her comfortably until she learnedenough to support herself. She afterwards married a carpenter, whoalways performed for my father those odd jobs that are constantlyrequired in a house, and they came to live in a kind of cottage at theend of the garden. They there commenced farming on a small scale, andoften supplied us with milk, eggs, poultry, &c. Mammy was a firm believer in signs of good and evil import; thus, if, indropping the scissors, they stood up erect on the point, she always saidthat visitors were coming--a sign that rarely failed, as we were seldoma day without them. Once I had wished very much for a large wax-doll. Mydreams were beautified with waxen images of immense size, whose chinablue eyes, long flaxen curls, and rosy cheeks, presented a combinationof charms that took my heart by storm. I sat one night, as usual, by thenursery fire; my thoughts fixed on this all-engrossing subject, when Iventured to communicate them to Mammy, and ask her if she thought I everwould become the enviable possessor of such a doll. "I don't know, " replied Mammy at first, "I think it's very doubtful. Butcome here, " she added, "and let me see your hand. " After an examination, Mammy pronounced with an air of great mystery thatcircumstances were propitious, and she was almost convinced beyond adoubt that ere long the doll would be mine. She then pointed out to me asmall white spot on my left thumb nail, which she said always denoted apresent. I was rather incredulous at first, not conceiving that sobrilliant a dream could be realized; but after a while the doll actuallymade its appearance, and I began to regard Mammy as something littleshort of a witch, and became far more tractable in consequence of myincreased awe. Jane's stories, as well as Mammy's always began with "Once upon a timethere were two sisters;" one was represented as plain-looking, butamiable--the other beautiful, but a very Zantippe in temper. By somewonderful combination of circumstances, the elder lost her beauty andugliness at the same time--when some good fairy always came along, who, by a magic touch of her wand, made both the sisters far more lovely thanthe elder had been. Beauty was always the burden of the tale; people whowere not beautiful met with no adventures, and seemed to lead a hum-drumsort of life; therefore, I insensibly learned to regard this wonderfulpossession as something very much to be desired. I believe I was quite apretty child, with dark bright eyes, red lips, and a pair of very rosycheeks. I spent considerable time before the glass, and both Mammy andJane began to fear the effects of vanity. Often and often would the oldnurse say: "You needn't stand before the glass, Miss Amy--there isnothing to look at, " or when in a bad humor, "Don't make such faces, child--you have no beauty to spare, " and I can very well remember howboth would endeavor to persuade me that I was the most veritable littlefright that ever existed, and quite a bugbear to my relations. "What a pity, " Jane would commence, as she saw me surveying myself withan air of infinite satisfaction, "what a pity it is that Miss Amy hassuch a dark, ugly skin--almost like an Indian, isn't it, nurse?" I had eyes to judge for myself, and knew that I was much fairer thaneither Mammy or Jane; and somebody had remarked in my presence: "What alovely neck and shoulders!" therefore I generally remained perfectlyquiet while listening to these inuendoes. "Yes, " Mammy would reply, "a very great pity--but an amiable temper, Miss Amy, is more than looks; you must try and cultivate that, to makeup for your want of beauty. " "And then, " continued Jane, "only see how perfectly straight her hairis! not a sign of curl, nor even a twist!--and black eyes have such awicked kind of a look; they always remind me of cannibals. " Jane's eyes were as blue and bright as glass beads, while Mammy's, Ithought, approached a green, but with my own I felt perfectly satisfied;for a lady had remarked in my presence what beautiful eyes Ihad--adding that "dark eyes were so much more expressive than blue; blueones were so very insipid looking. " The observation about my hair, though, was only too correct, and touched me most sensibly. While mostof the other children possessed those soft, flowing curls, so beautifulin childhood, mine obstinately refused to wave; and was, to use Jane'sexpression, "as straight and as stiff as a poker. " I had endeavored toremedy this as far as lay in my power, and one day set my hair in ablaze, while curling it with a very hot pipe-stem. I was, inconsequence, deemed one of the most abandoned of the nursery inmates;and found myself minus at least one half of the hair I had hithertopossessed. I really believe that both Jane and Mammy sincerely hoped to eradicatemy besetting sin, by such blunt remarks as the former; but no coursecould have been less wise than the one which they took. I knew very wellthat I was neither a fright, an Indian, nor a cannibal; and the painswhich they took to convince me to the contrary led me to give myselfcredit for much more beauty than I really possessed. I also regardedamiability as a virtue of very small account; and supposed that thosewho practised it, only did so because they possessed neither beauty, grace, nor anything else to recommend them. A great source of annoyance to me was my dress. As I was an onlydaughter, some mothers, with the same means, would have enhanced myattractions with all the aid of ornament, and established me as apermanent divinity of the drawing-room, whom all must bow to and flatteras they entered its precincts. But, although fond of display, andsurrounded with all the appliances of wealth, the taste of my parentsnever did run much on dress; and I often felt mortified at myinferiority to others in this respect. Such articles were then muchdearer, and more in vogue than at the present day, and a blue Circassianformed my entire stock of gala dresses, and went the rounds of all thechildren's parties I attended; my mother seemed to think, (with respectto me, at least, ) that as long as a dress was clean and in good repair, there was no need of a change--she left nothing to the pleasure ofvariety. There appeared to be an inexhaustible store of the samematerial in a certain capacious drawer; did an elbow give out, a newsleeve instantly supplied its place--did I happen to realize the ancientsaying: "There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip, " and make mylap the recipient of some of the goodies provided for us at ourentertainments, the soiled front breadth disappeared, and was replacedby another, fresh and new--did the waist grow short, it was made overagain--there verily seemed to be no end to the dress; I came to theconclusion that blue Circassian was the most ugly material everinvented, and often found myself calculating how many yards there mightbe left. My school hats always looked the worse for wear, and my Sunday ones werenot much better; but once my mother took me to the city, and bought me, for school, a far handsomer hat than I had hitherto worn for best, and astill better one for great occasions. Here I, who scarcely ever lookeddecent about the upper story, actually had two new hats at once! Thebest one, I remember, was a round gipsy flat, then altogether thefashion; and the first Sunday I put it on I made a perfect fool ofmyself by twisting my hair in strings, intended to pass for naturalringlets, and allowing said strings to hang all around beneath the brimof my hat. Mamma was sick and confined to her room, and I managed toappear at church with this ridiculous head-gear. People certainly stareda little, but this my vanity easily converted into looks of admirationdirected towards my new hat, and perhaps also my improved beauty--andcame home more full of self-complacency than ever. I have before mentioned that beyond the house there was a largefruit-garden, respecting which, my father's orders were especiallystrict. He expressly forbade our touching any of the fruit unless hegave us permission; and nothing made him more angry than to have anygathered before it was quite ripe. It certainly requires a child whoseprinciple of honesty is a very strong one, to pass every day in fullview of an endless bed of ripening strawberries, whose uncommon size andluscious hue offered so many temptations. But bad as I was, I think Iwas generally pretty honest, and resisted the temptation to the best ofmy ability. CHAPTER V. I think I was about five years old, when one bright May morning mybrother Henry received especial instructions to be careful of me, andsee that I fell into no mischief on the occasion of my first day atschool. The luncheon-basket was packed with twice the usual quantity ofsandwiches, into which Mammy slyly tucked a small paper of sweet thingsas a sort of comforter, with repeated injunctions to Henry not to make amistake and confiscate them for his own private use. A superfluouscaution--for Henry was the most generous little fellow that ever lived;and was far more likely to fall short himself than that others shouldsuffer through him. Both Jane and Mammy kissed me repeatedly. I had on anew dress of light, spotted calico, and a straw hat, with a greenribbon, and a deep green silk cape--underneath the binding of my apron asmall handkerchief had been carefully pinned--a small blue-covered book, and a slate with a long, sharp-pointed pencil tied on with a red cord, were placed in my hands; and from these ominous preparations, and theuncommon kindness of every one around, I concluded that I was at last tomeet with some adventure--perhaps to suffer martyrdom of some kind orother. Poor Jane! My great passion was for beads, and when she perceived, fromvarious indications, that I was not exactly pleased with the change, sheran up stairs, hastily loosened a whole string from a cherishednecklace, and returning quickly, slipped them into my hand. My motheralso came into the nursery to see that I was perfectly neat, kissed meaffectionately as she whispered to me to be a good girl and learn toread, and with a strange, undefined sensation at my heart, I foundmyself in the street with my hand fast locked in that of Henry. It wasthat lovely season of the year when the fruit-trees are all in bloom;and the sweet, flower-laden breeze, the busy hum of human life that rosearound, and the bounding, restless spirit of childhood, made me shrinkfrom the bondage I was about to enter. The school-house was a very pretty cottage with a trellised front ofbean-vines and honeysuckle; and when I entered I found, to my greatsurprise, that Miss Sewell, the teacher, looked very much like otherpeople. There were two moderate-sized rooms, opening into each other, inone of which Mr. Sewell superintended several desks of unruly boys--inthe other, his daughter directed the studies of about twenty littlegirls. There were some large girls seated at the desks, who appeared tome so very antiquated that I was almost afraid to hazard an idearespecting their ages; and had I been asked how old they were, shouldprobably have replied 'at least fifty;' although I do not now supposethe eldest was more than fourteen. Rather stunned by the buzz and noise of the classes reciting, and verymuch puzzled as to my own probable destiny, I began to climb the hillof knowledge. I said my letters; and Miss Sewell, having found that Iknew them pretty well, (thanks to Mammy's patient teaching), allowed meto spell in _a-b, ab_, and _b-a, ba_, and set me some straight marks onmy slate. I met with nothing remarkable during my first day at school;and on my return informed Mammy, as the result of my studies, that twoand one make four. Nor could I be persuaded to the contrary; for, although I had been taught by the old nurse to count as far as ten, onbeing examined by Miss Sewell, either bashfulness or obstinacy preventedme from displaying the extent of my knowledge--and, while endeavoring toexplain to me how many one and one make, she had said: "There is one, tobegin with; well now, one more makes two, " therefore as one made two inthis case, I supposed it did in every other. I learned to love the mild countenance of Miss Sewell, with her plaindark hair and soft eyes, and was never happier then when she was invitedto tea; for then I was emancipated from the nursery and placed besideher at table. I dearly loved to take her fruit and flowers; and whitelilies, roses, honey-suckles, and the most admired productions of ourgarden were daily laid on Miss Sewell's table. For rewards we had agreat many wide, bright-colored ribbons, which were tied upon our arms, that every one might see them as we went home; and she who could boast avariety of ribbons was known to have been perfect in all her lessons. Those who had fallen into disgrace were distinguished by a broad bandpassed around the head, on the front of which was written in largecharacters the name of the misdemeanor. One morning I had been rather negligent, and, having my suspicions as tothe consequence, told Mammy of my fears, and my dread of the disgrace. The old nurse's anger even exceeded mine; she declared that her childshould not be treated so, and advised me to snatch it off and tear it topieces. I went to school, not having exactly made up my mind whether tofollow this advice or not; but my afternoon lessons fully made up forthe deficiency of the morning, and I escaped the dreaded punishment. Ihad gone with several companions to the closet in which we depositedour hats and shawls, and while engaged in the process of robing, I hearda very loud voice talking in great excitement, and one which Iimmediately recognised. I overheard Mammy exclaiming: "Where is mychild? Has she got that horrid thing on her head? I want to take it offbefore she goes home. " Blushing with mortification, as I noticed the tittering of theschool-girls, called forth by the loud tone and strange figure of theold nurse, who had rushed into the room in her usual attire ofshort-gown and petticoat, I came hastily forward, and was immediatelyseized by Mammy, who exclaimed in surprise: "Why, I though you said youwere going to have that thing on your head! I was determined that nochild of mine should wear it, so I came after you to take it off. " Mammy was one of the most independent persons I ever saw; she cared forno one's frown, and poured forth the whole love of her warm Irish heartupon us--tormenting and troublesome as we were. Sometimes she sung to usof "Acushla machree" and "Mavourneen, " and Mammy's Irish songs wereespecial favorites with the young fry of the nursery. When we wereparticularly obstreperous, she threatened to go away and leave us, andnever come back again; a threat which always produced copious showers oftears, and promises of better behavior. Often have I watched her indismay as she dressed herself to go out--fearful that she would reallyput her threat in execution, especially as conscience whispered that Ideserved it. At such times, nothing pacified me except the deposit ofher spectacles; when once the case was lodged in my possession, I feltsure of Mammy--knowing that she could not stay long without them. Sometimes she would tell us of her life in Ireland; but no act did shemore bitterly deplore than her marriage; complaining that the object ofher choice was far from what he appeared to be when she married him--andfurther observing that as he turned out a very bad speculation, andnever gave her anything but a thimble, she wisely left him to his ownsociety, and emigrated to America. Mammy very often kept the key of the fruit-garden; and as she neveryielded it to our entreaties, the ever-ready Fred formed a conspiracyone Sunday afternoon, in which, I am sorry to say, I took a veryconspicuous part--the object of which was to purloin the key, and enjoyat last this long-coveted, forbidden pleasure. Fred actually succeededin abstracting it from Mammy's capacious pocket, and in high glee weproceeded to the garden. It was in the time of peaches; there hung thelucious fruit in such profusion, that the trees were almost borne downby its weight. We ate till we could eat no longer; and then, happeningto see two or three men passing along, we threw some over the fence tothem. They, in return, threw us some pennies; and, delighted with thesuccess of our frolic, we continued to throw and receive, until startledby a most unwelcome apparition. There, at the foot of the tree, stoodMammy--her face expressing the utmost astonishment and indignation, andher hands extended to seize us. She had watched our manoeuvres from oneof the windows, and astonishment at our boldness and ingenuity kept herfor sometime a silent spectator. But Mammy was not apt to be _silent_long while witnessing our misdeeds; and in an incredible short space oftime she gained the use of both her feet and her tongue. Our companionscaught a glimpse of flying drapery rapidly advancing, and rathersuddenly made their retreat; while we, now trembling, detected culprits, took up a line of march for the house. Not so, Fred; defying Mammy to capture him, and laughing at her dismay, he started off on a run, and she after him in full pursuit. We watchedthe chase from the nursery-window; and as Fred was none of the thinnest, and Mammy somewhat resembled a meal-bag with a string tied round themiddle, it proved to be quite exciting. But it was brought to anuntimely end by the apparition of a pair of spectacles over the fence;said spectacles being the undisputed property of a middle-agedgentleman--a bachelor, who, we suspected, always stayed home from churchon Sunday afternoons to keep the neighbors in order. Withhorror-stricken eyes he had beheld only the latter part of the scene, and conceiving the old nurse to be as bad as her rebellious charge, hecalled out from his garden, which communicated with ours: "My good woman, do you know that this is Sunday?--Depend upon it, aperson of your years would feel much better to be quietly reading inyour own apartment, than racing about the garden in this unseemlymanner. " Poor Mammy! she was well aware of this before; flushed, heated, andalmost overcome with fatigue, she looked the very picture ofuncomfortableness; and this last aggravation increased the feeling to atenfold degree. At that moment, Fred, unconsciously, stumbled into hervery arms; she looked up--the spectacles had disappeared--and convincedof this fact, she bore him in triumph to the nursery. We had all expected personal chastisement, at the very least, but wewere thrown into a greater degree of horror and dismay than could wellbe conceived; Mammy placed her spectacles in her pocket, collected hervaluables, and put on her hat and things, to take passage for Ireland. We hung about her in every attitude of entreaty--acknowledged ourmisdemeanors, promised amendment, and an entire confession of all thesins we had ever perpetrated. I do think we must have remained upon ourknees at least half an hour; never had Mammy seemed so hard-heartedbefore, and we began to think that she might be in earnest after all. Webegged her to whip us--lock us up--anything but leave us; and at lastshe relented. She told us that she considered us the most abandonedchildren that ever were born; and wished that she had two additionaleyes at the back of her head to watch our movements. We promised tospend the afternoon in learning hymns and verses; and Mammy, havingtaken her position in the large easy-chair, with a footstool at herfeet, tied Fred to one of the legs, as he sat on a low bench at herside, and made us all study. We succeeded pretty well; althoughconsiderably terrified at the sharp looks which Mammy from time to timebestowed upon us. In the evening came the promised confession; and both Mammy and Janewere rendered almost dumb by these dreadful instances of depravity. Suchsecret and unsuspected visits to the store-room pantry--suchconspiracies against locks and bolts--such scaling of walls, andclimbing in at windows, were never heard of before. I rather suspectedFred to have drawn upon his imagination for instances of the marvellous, for such adventures as he related never could have been met with; butMammy and Jane believed it all. At the conclusion, the old nurse seemedvery much disposed to punish us at once for all these unitedmisdemeanors--and was only prevented by our remonstrating upon the pleaof a voluntary confession. That night I lay awake, pretending to sleep, and heard Mammy and hersatellite discussing our conduct in all its enormity. Considerablyinfluenced by their unaffected horror and astonishment, the thought forthe first time rushed upon my mind, that perhaps I might be much worsethan other people. It troubled me considerably; I found it impossible tosleep, and following a good impulse, I crept softly out of bed, andfalling on my knees before Mammy, whispered to her to pray for me. Theremust have been a very different expression on my countenance from itsusual one; for I afterwards heard the old nurse tell Jane that Ireminded her of an angel. I felt utterly miserable; and sobbingconvulsively, I begged Mammy to pray, not that I might have a new heart, but that I might live a great while. I had begun to fear speedypunishment for my misdemeanors. The old nurse, (although a really piouswoman), seemed quite at a loss how to proceed; and Jane, coming forward, took me kindly by the hand, and reasoned with me on my conduct with allthe wisdom of riper years and a higher education. After convincing methat I should ask, not for an increased number of years, but for a newheart and temper, she knelt down with me and repeated the Lord's prayer. The scene is indelibly impressed upon my memory; for although I havesince witnessed scenes containing more stage effect, and quite asmelting, I never in my life remember to have been so affected as, withJane's arm around me, and the light of the nursery-lamp shining upon ourkneeling figures, I distinctly heard Mammy's sobs, as she repeated eachword with a peculiar intonation of reverence. I felt a respect for theyoung girl ever afterwards; and as I clasped my arms about her neck andpressed a warm kiss on her cheek, as I bade her good-night, the tone ofmy voice must have been unusually tender--for I saw tears come into hereyes as she asked Mammy if she was not afraid, from my flushed cheeks, that I had some fever. Although petulant, and even violent when roused, I had a warm, loving heart, capable of the most unbounded affection; andfrom that time forth Jane and I never had a single dispute. She hadappeared to me in a new light on that Sabbath eve; and with my handlocked in hers, I fell into a sweet, dreamy sleep. CHAPTER VI. One of my great troubles, and one too which I regarded in a prettyserious light, was the obeisance I had been taught to make on meeting"the minister's wife. " I never came within view of this formidablepersonage that I did not hesitate and tremble; while I looked wildlyaround, in the vain hope of discovering a place of refuge. Afterperforming my awkward courtesy, I usually hastened on as fast aspossible, being oppressed with a most uncomfortable sensation of awe inthe presence of Mrs. Eylton. This was occasioned by the quiet observancewhich I, like other children, took of the conduct of those around me. Everything in the house seemed to be at her command; if Mrs. Eylton sentfor a thing she must have it immediately; and I drew my conclusionsthat "the minister's wife" was a sort of petty sovereign, placed overthe town or village in which she resided, and that all we possessed washeld under her. Almost every day brought a request from Mrs. Eylton for the loan of somearticle in our possession; a repetition of which would naturally leadone to conclude that ministers merely procured a house, and thendepended for everything else on the charity of the public. Thisborrowing mania appeared to gather strength from indulgence, for none ofthe neighbors would refuse, whatever the article might be; and ourwaffle-iron, toasting-fork, Dutch-oven, bake-pan, and rolling-pin werefrequently from home on visits of a week's duration. On sending for ourmuffin-rings or cake-pans, we often received a message to be expeditiousin our manufactures; that Mrs. Eylton could spare them for a day or so, "but wanted to use them again very shortly. " Our parents would buy suchconveniences, send them to the kitchen of Mrs. Eylton, and borrow themfrom time to time, if in perfect accordance with that lady'sconvenience. She would even borrow her neighbor's servants, and often atvery inconvenient times. Jane had often been sent for to take care ofthe children; and the usual request came one afternoon that seemed to mestamped with most remarkable events. We were in a kind of sitting-room on the ground-floor, and my father satwriting at a small table near the window. A servant entered with theannouncement: "Mrs. Eylton, ma'am, wants to borrow Jane. " An expression of vexation crossed my mother's countenance as sheremarked: "I do not know how I can possibly spare Jane this afternoon;Mammy has gone out, and I do not feel inclined to attend to the childrenmyself. " My father looked up from his writing as he observed: "Nor do I see thenecessity of your being troubled with them, Laura. " "Not see the necessity!" exclaimed my mother, "How can I refuse the wifeof our minister? I would be willing to put up with some inconveniencefor Mr. Eylton's sake. Poor man! he has a hard time of it, with histalents and refinement. " "No doubt he has, " said my father, pityingly; then, in a more merrytone, he added: "But can you think of no other alternative, Laura, thandisobliging Mrs. Eylton, if you object to this juvenile infliction for awhole long summer's afternoon?" My father was of a bolder, more determined character than my mother, andhad, withal, a spice of fun in his composition; and the expression ofhis eyes now rendered her apprehensive of some sudden scheme that mightcreate a feeling of justifiable anger in Mrs. Eylton. "Dearest Arthur!" she exclaimed beseechingly, as she placed a soft handon his shoulder, "Do not, I beseech of you, put in execution anyoutlandish plan respecting Mrs. Eylton!--Do let Jane go as usual; forshe is not one to understand a joke, I can assure you--she will beoffended by it. " "And pray, madam, " asked my father, with assumed gravity, "what has ledyou to suppose that I intended making Mrs. Eylton the subject of ajoke? Away with you, " he continued, with a mischievous look at thosepleading eyes, "Away with you, and let me do as I choose. " Turning to the servant, he asked: "Mrs. Eylton has, I believe, requestedthe loan of other articles besides our domestics--has she ever sent toborrow any of the children?" "Indeed, and she has not, sir, " replied the girl, with difficultyrepressing a laugh. "Well then, " said he, "we will now send her both the article sherequested, and some articles which she did not request. Tell Jane to beready to go to Mrs. Eylton's with the children. " "Yes sir, " and the servant departed to execute her commission. "Arthur!" remonstrated my mother. "Not a word!" said my father gaily. "Children, " he continued, "do youwish to go? What says my madcap, Amy?" Madcap Amy, for once in her life, said nothing--being too much awed andastonished to reply. To think that I should actually enter the house, and be face to face with the formidable Mrs. Eylton? The idea wasappalling; and for sometime I sat biting my nails in thoughful silence. It was so sudden, it had always appeared to me that a great deal must begone through with--a great many different degrees of intimacysurmounted, before I should ever find myself within the house of Mrs. Eylton; but here was I, without the least warning, to be transformedfrom the bashful child, who made no sign of recognition save an awkwardcourtesy, into the regular visitor--and for a whole afternoon! No wonderI took so long to deliberate. Though not particularly remarkable forbashfulness or timidity at home, and despite a character for violencein, "fighting my own battles, " to assert some infringed right, Iabsolutely trembled at the idea of encountering strangers; and thisvisit to Mrs. Eylton's appeared, to my excited mind, like thrustingmyself into the enemy's quarters. But then curiosity rose up in all its powers, to baffle my fear; I did_so_ want to see how the house looked inside, and whether they reallyhad anything that was not borrowed! And then who knows, thought I, butwhat Mrs. Eylton will show me the inside of some of her drawers? I daresay she has a great many pretty things. There was nothing which gave megreater delight than looking into other people's drawers, and turningover those remnants of various things which are stored away in mosthouses--in many for the mere love of hoarding. Mamma would sometimesallow me to arrange certain little drawers containing jewelry, ribbons, and odds and ends. But the charmed room in our house was one that wasalways kept locked, and, from the circumstance of a green ribbon beingattached to the key, we called it "the green-ribbon room. " Dear me! what a collection that room contained. There were several largetrunks that nearly covered the floor, besides boxes, and bags, andbundles; and these were filled with cast-off clothes, silks, ribbons, and bunches of artificial flowers and feathers. The room was not veryoften opened; it was at the very top of the house, and lighted by alarge dormar-window; but as soon as mamma mounted the stairs, with thekey in her hand, the alarm was given: "Quick! mother is going to thegreen-ribbon room!" and mamma's ears were immediately refreshed by thesound of numerous little feet moving up stairs at locomotive speed, withthe ostensible purpose of assisting her in her researches--but inreality, to be getting in her way, and begging for everything we saw. Itwas, "Mamma, mayn't we have this?" or, "mayn't we have that?" or "Do sayyes, just this once; and we'll never ask you for anything again as longas we live--never, " a promise faithfully kept till next time. Mamma sometimes tried to go up very softly, in order to elude ourvigilance; but it wouldn't do. She often wondered how we found out thatthat she was there, but we seldom missed an opportunity. Now and then adear little pitcher, or a vase of cream-colored ground with a wreath offaint pink roses traced around it, or a cluster of bright-coloredflowers in the centre, arrested our attention, and called forthrhapsodies of admiration. I supposed that everybody had just such aroom; and it was very probable, I thought, that Mrs. Eylton might chanceto open hers during our visit. Therefore I decided that, notwithstandingmy terror of the lady, a greater amount of pleasure might be obtainedby going there, than by staying at home. So Jane, with her own trim person as neat as possible, bore off hercharges to the nursery, in order, as she said, "to make us fit to beseen. " "Mrs. Eylton might see this, " or "notice that, " and I feltuncomfortably convinced that Mrs. Eylton must possess the sharpest pairof eyes it had ever been my misfortune to encounter. Finally, we setoff; I remember being dressed in a white frock, with a broad sash, andexperiencing a consciousness of looking remarkably well, in spite of myhair--which, having obstinately repulsed all Jane's advances with tongsand curl-papers, was suffered to remain in all its native straightness. It was summer, and a multiflora rose-vine, which extended over the frontof the parsonage, was then in full flower; while, as we mounted thesteps, I distinguished through the green blind door glimpses of apleasant-looking garden beyond. We entered the back parlor, where satMrs. Eylton attired for a walk, and surrounded by three children, allyounger than myself. The minister's lady did not appear quite soformidable on a close survey; though the aspect of her countenance wasby no means promising, as her eye fell upon us. "Well, Jane, " she commenced, in the tone of one who felt herselfinjured, "you have kept me waiting some time--how is this? Punctualityis a virtue very becoming in a young person. " Jane looked exceedingly disconcerted at this address; but at length shereplied, that "she could not get the children ready before. " "_The children_!" repeated Mrs. Eylton; while, young as I was, I plainlyread in her countenance, "What possessed you to bring _them_ here?" "Yes ma'am, " replied Jane, gathering more courage as she proceeded, "Mrs. Chesbury sent them with me to spend the afternoon. She had no oneto attend to them at home. " In the meantime I became aware, as I glanced around the room, that theprospect for the afternoon promised very little amusement. Mrs. Eyltonsoon after left us, telling Jane to be very careful that we got into nomischief; and, with, a feeling of disappointment, I saw the door closebehind her. In my scenting of the apartment I became very much struckwith the appearance of a curious looking little work-stand, containingthree small drawers. Immediately my imagination was at work upon theircontents; and I determined, if possible, to satisfy my curiosity. Mrs. Eylton had departed without making any provision for our amusement, andI saw no reason why I should not examine the drawers--especially if Ihandled things carefully, and put them all back again. Probably theywere in disorder, and then what a pleasant surprise it would be for Mrs. Eylton to find them all neatly arranged on her return! Jane now proposed walking in the garden; and to avoid suspicion, Ijoined the party for the present. There were a great many flower-beds, very prettily laid out; and at the end of a wide path stood a pleasantlittle summer-house, half-buried in vines. We established ourselvesthere, from whence we could view the whole garden; and with a pretenceof looking again at the flowers, I soon made my escape, and returned tothe house. A wide glass-door opened from the back room into the garden, and carefully closing this, I approached the table and attempted to openthe drawers. I tried the first one, --it was locked; the second, --and metwith no better success. Almost in despair, I placed my hands on thethird, and that finally yielded to my efforts. I beheld heterogeneousrows of pins, papers of needles, &c. , and was about to shut it indisappointment, when my glance fell on a small box. Small, mysterious-looking boxes always possessed a talismanic attraction in myeyes; and the next moment I was busily at work examining the contents. The round lid lifted, I found my gaze irresistibly fascinated by achild's face, with fair, curling hair, and azure eyes. But the greatbeauty lay in its expression; that was so calm, holy, and serene, that Ifelt insensibly better as I gazed upon it. It was a peculiar face; and Ibecame so wrapt in its contemplation as to lose all hearing of whatpassed around, until a step sounded close beside me. I looked up, and fairly trembled with terror and dismay. There stoodMr. Eylton, gazing on me in surprise, as if quite at a loss what to makeof the circumstance; but as his eye fell upon the picture, I noticedthat an expression of sadness crossed his countenance. Not knowing whatto do with myself, and almost ready to sink through the floor withshame, I stood with bowed head and burning cheeks, the very picture ofmortification. But there was no trace of anger in Mr. Eylton's tone, as, kindly taking me by the hand, he drew me towards him and asked me myname. I answered as well as I could; and still holding the picture, remained in silent consternation. Mr. Eylton took it from my hand, andsighed as he bent a deep, loving gaze upon the fair face. Prompted by a sudden impulse, I raised my eyes to his, as I enquired:"Can you tell me where that little girl is now? I should _so_ like tosee her!" "In heaven, I trust, " replied Mr. Eylton, while his voice slightlyfaltered, and a tear stood in his eye. "She was my daughter, Amy--shedied some years ago, when very young. " I felt almost ready to cry myself, when told that she was dead, andgazed lingeringly upon the portrait as Mr. Eylton closed the box; andplacing it in the drawer, he returned to me again. "But, my dear child, " said he suddenly, "Why did you open the drawer? Doyou not know that it was extremely improper?" "I did _so_ want to see what was in it!" was my rejoinder. Mr. Eylton seemed puzzled at first by this reply; but probablyperceiving that I had been too much left to myself, he proceeded toexplain, in clear and concise words, the nature and tendency of myfault. "This curiosity, my dear child, is an improper state of feelingwhich should not be indulged in. Suppose, " continued he, "that onlooking into this drawer, you had perceived some article which youimmediately felt a great desire to possess; yielding to the temptationof curiosity would thus lead to the sin of covetousness, and perhaps thecrime of theft might be also added. You would reason with yourself thatno one had seen you open the drawer, and forgetting the all-seeing Eyewhich never slumbers, you might conclude that no one would know you tookthe article which did not belong to you. " The prospect of becoming a thief struck me with horror; and resolvingnever again to meddle with other people's things, I begged Mr. Eylton toforgive me, and entreated him not to inform Mrs. Eylton of mymisdemeanor. He smiled at the anxiety I displayed not to have it known;and then taking a bunch of keys from a box, he proceeded to gratify mycuriosity with respect to the other drawers. These amply repaid aninvestigation; containing numerous toys and trinkets of foreignmanufacture, among which were two or three small alabaster images. Onerepresented a beautiful greyhound in a reclining position; there was anItalian image of the Virgin and Child; and some others which I havealmost forgotten. I was allowed to examine all these things at myleisure; and when I departed, it was with a firm conviction that Mr. Eylton was far more agreeable than his wife. Jane soon came in from the summer-house, after an unsuccessful searchfor me through the garden, and was not a little surprised to find mequietly established with Mr. Eylton. Towards sunset Mrs. Eyltonreturned; and being graciously dismissed, we went home with theimpression that it had been altogether rather a curious visit. But theafternoon dwelt in my memory like a golden gleam; and often I went over, in imagination, that delightful investigation of Mrs. Eylton's drawers. CHAPTER VII. We were generally besieged with visitors of all descriptions andcharacters. My parents had one or two poor relations who made long staysat every visit; and being generous, even to a fault, they loaded themwith presents at their departure, and invitations to come again. Therewas one old lady, in particular, who engaged my fancy; she came to seeus quite often, and in the family went by the name of "Aunty Patton. "Aunty Patton was a widow, with very slender means; and boarded with amarried daughter, who had a large family of children, but very little tosupport them on. Poor Aunty! she fared rather poorly at home, and did_so_ seem to enjoy everything. She was particularly fond of fruit-cake;and whenever she came, mamma took particular pains that this should beone of the appliances of the tea-table. She possessed many wealthyacquaintances and relations, and enjoyed visiting around among them verymuch; praising everything that was set before her, and nevercontradicting any one. It teemed impossible to put anything on the tablewhich she did not like; everything was "good, " and "delightful, " and"just what she would have fancied. " At length some cousin determined totest her patience; and on one occasion, when the old lady happened todine there, the dishes, when uncovered, were found to contain nothingbut supaun and potatoes. "I am really sorry, Aunty Patton, " began the hostess, "to be able tooffer you nothing better for dinner--but sometimes you know"-- "O, " said Aunty, with rather a rueful look, "it'll _do_. " Poor Aunty had that very day prepared herself for something uncommonlynice in the way of dinner, and felt a little disappointed; but cousinEmma soon restored her equanimity by a liberal display of fruit-cake andother nice things, which presented themselves on opening the side-boarddoor. Aunty Patton had mild, winning kind of manners, and became a generalfavorite in the nursery; probably on account of her always noticing us, and pronouncing us "lovely little creatures. " She appeared to me themost heavenly-minded old lady I had ever seen; and I listened, with aspecies of awe, to the long stories which she loved so dearly to relateabout everybody whom she visited. She was very short--not seeming to memuch taller than myself--and the cumbrous dress of the period wascalculated to make her appear much shorter. She would sit and relatewonderful occurrences which seemed constantly taking place in herdaughter's family; one of the children would cut his foot, and forsometime there would be danger of amputation--another urchin would upseta kettle of scalding water on himself, and then he would be laid up forsometime, while mamma turned the green-ribbon room topsy-turvy in hersearches after old linen--and once the daughter fell down stairs, andwas taken up for dead. They seemed to be an unfortunate family--alwaysmeeting with hair-breadth escapes. Aunty Patton's reticule was alwayswell filled with good things on every occasion of her departure; andvery often a collection of money was added to the stock. Mamma sometimes endeavored to enlist our sympathies in benevolentpurposes. I remember, on one occasion, when I had been teasing sometimefor a new tortoise-shell comb to keep back my hair with, it suddenlyentered my head that it would be a well-disposed action to ask for somemoney to give Aunty Patton. "Are you willing, Amy, to deny yourself anything, " asked mamma, after Ihad made my request, "in order that I may give this money to AuntyPatton? It is no benevolence in you to ask me to give away money, unlessyou are willing to do without something in consequence. If I give AuntyPatton the five dollars that your comb will cost, are you willing to dowithout it?" "Dear me, " thought I, "being good is very expensive. " I deliberated forsometime, but finally answered, "No. " My mother pressed the subject nofarther; but after a while I exclaimed with a comfortable feeling ofmagnanimity; "Yes, dear mamma, you _may_ give Aunty Patton the fivedollars--and I'll get _papa_ to buy me the comb!" Mammy was a great judge of character, and when she once made up her mindnot to like a person, it was very difficult to make her change hersentiments. My father once brought in a travelling clergyman, whorepresented himself as very devout and unfortunate; and we all madegreat efforts to entertain him. He was travelling West, he said, andendeavoring to collect on the road sufficient money to pay his expenses. My father invited him to remain with us a month; and he seemed very muchto enjoy the good things so liberally showered upon him--contriving atthe same time to render himself so agreeable that he quite won ourhearts. Mammy alone remained proof against his insinuations; he paidassiduous court to her, and did his best to remove this unfavorableimpression, but the old nurse remained immovable. He once asked her for the key to the fruit-garden, when my parents wereboth out; but Mammy stedfastly refused him. "She had orders, " she said, "not to let the key go out of her possession, and she didn't intend tonow. " The wandering clergyman departed quite enraged; and reportedproceedings as soon as my father returned. He was very much displeasedat Mammy's obstinacy, and spoke quite warmly on the subject; but the oldnurse replied that "she didn't know but he might make off with half thefruit in the garden--she didn't like the man's looks at any rate. " I had then in my possession a little morocco pocket-book, a treasuredarticle, which I valued above all my other worldly goods. Sometimebefore Christmas, I had observed it in a a shop-window with passionateadmiration; and on my return home, I threw out various hints andinuendoes--scarcely hoping that they would be attended to. They were, however; for on examining my stocking on the eventful morning, thelong-coveted pocket-book was found sticking in the toe--and what wasstill better, well supplied with contents. I was in ecstasy forsometime after; but wishing to do something to signalize myself, I nowplaced it in the hands of the Rev. Mr. Motley for safe keeping. "Mark my words, " said Mammy prophetically, "you'll never see a sign ofthat pocket-book again. " Alas! her words were but too true; circumstances came to light not veryfavorable to the character of our visitor; and that very night the Rev. Mr. Motley secretly decamped--mentioning in a note left behind, thatunlooked-for events had hastened his departure. My little pocket-bookaccompanied him, as he quite forgot to return it; and Mammy's triumphwas almost as provoking as the loss. She had, however, withcharacteristic caution, abstracted whatever money it contained; and thereflection that the reverend gentleman had not gained much, gave herconsiderable pleasure. The lesson taught me not to trust strangers againtoo readily, and my father imbibed somewhat of a prejudice againsttravelling clergymen in distress. Rev. Mr. Motley was never again heardof. We once had a visit from a Captain Vardell, an acquaintance of myfather's, who had married a Spanish woman. This Captain had spent muchof his time at sea; roving about from place to place, until at length hesettled down for some years in Spain. He had no relations in America, and but little money, so that of course my father's house, the usualrefuge of the needy and distressed, was at once his destination. Heappeared to us an indolent, good-natured kind of a man, and his wiferesembled him in the former quality, though quite deficient in thelatter. She could not speak a word of English, and would scold and railat her husband in Spanish for hours together. We did not understand whatshe said, but we knew, by the flashing of those great black eyes and heranimated gestures, that her words were not words of love. She was alarge woman, with straight, black hair, that seemed to be always hangingabout her face, and rather handsome features. She spent most of her timein playing jackstraws with us, or else lounging on the sofa; mutteringin rapid succession the words of a small prayer-book, which CaptainVardell told us she always carried about her, as it had been consecratedand given to her by a Spanish priest. She appeared to us very much likea great overgrown baby; manifesting the most childish delight on winninga game, and equally angry when defeated. Once, when in extremegood-humor, she shewed us how to make beads resembling coral, from acertain paste which she manufactured; but we never could extract fromher the names of the materials, and were obliged to content ourselveswith making them under her direction. Mrs. Vardell was so extremely lazy that she would never stoop to pick upanything she had dropped. If her handkerchief or prayer-book fell to thefloor, she made motions for us to bring them to her; and when wesometimes mischievously pretended not to understand these signs, shewould let the article remain until some one restored it to her. Shenever seemed to experience the least emotion of gratitude, and receivedall favors as a natural right. She was an extremely troublesome, exacting visitor, and we were not at all sorry when the time of herdeparture arrived. My father had exerted himself on their behalf, and at the end of theirvisit handed Captain Vardell a handsome sum of money, collected fromamong his merchant friends and acquaintances. People were much moreliberal then than now, and the case of the Vardells did not fail to callforth their sympathy and generosity. The Spanish lady made her adieus, if so they could be called, with an easy indifference--apparentlyconsidering her fellow-mortals as machines invented for her sole use andbenefit. Captain Vardell presented us children with a handsomecollection of shells, picked up on foreign shores during his numerousvoyages; and some of them were very rare and beautiful. Most of them hada delicate pink tinge, like the outer leaves of a just-blown rose; andwe amused ourselves fur a long time by arranging them in a glass-casewhich my father gave us for the purpose. Among our visitors was an aunt of my mother's who lived in Waterford, Connecticut; and being a widow, with quite a large farm to attend to, her visits were never of long duration. I became very much attached toher, for she often entertained us with long stories about the Revolutionand the aggressions of the British soldiers--about which you shall hearwhen I come to tell you of the long visit I made there one summer. AuntHenshaw was very proud of her farm and farming operations; her cattleand vegetables had several times won the prize at agricultural fairs, and she boasted that her land produced more than any of her neighbors';who, being men, were of course expected to be more accomplished in suchmatters. She appeared to delight in giving away things, and seldom madeus a visit without bringing something of her own raising. These littlepresents my father always repaid tenfold; and Aunt Henshaw departedwithout a new gown or hat, or something to show when she got home. Ibelieve that we generally anticipated more pleasure from her visits thanfrom any of the numerous friends who often favored us withtheir company. But Aunt Henshaw, I must confess, won my heart less by her ownindividual merits than a present she once made me, which actuallyappeared to me like a windfall from the skies. I was alwaysinordinately fond of reading, and my predelictions for fairy talesamounted to an actual passion. When Mammy and Jane's ingenuity had beenexhausted in framing instances of the marvellous for my specialgratification, I would often fold my hands before my face, to shut outall actual scenes, and thus sit and dream of wonderful adventures withfairies, witches, and enchanted princesses. I was always happier in areverie than in the company of others--my own ideals I could make as Ichose--the real I must take as I found it. Castle-building is a pleasantbut dangerous occupation; had I not been so much of an enthusiast, aday-dreamer, it would have been better for my happiness. But to return to Aunt Henshaw and her present. Some school-mate one daytold me of the varied wonders contained in the "Arabian Kights. " Myimagination, always excitable, became worked up to a high pitch by talesof diamond caverns, flying horses, and mysterious Baloons under ground. If I went to sleep, it was to dream of gardens more beautiful thanParadise itself--of cooling fountains springing up at every step--ofall sorts of impossible fruits growing just where you wanted them--andlamps and songs that gratified every wish. At length I could bear thesetantalizing visions of unattainable pleasure no longer; I put on mybonnet and determined to go the whole rounds of the village until I metwith some success. People wondered what ailed me that afternoon; Ibolted directly into a room--asked if they had the Arabian Nights--and, on being answered in the negative, went out as expeditiously as I hadgone in, and tried another acquaintance. I was not easily daunted, andtook each one in succession, but all to no purpose; I returned home, fairly sick with disappointment, and hope delayed. The very next day Aunt Henshaw came down on a visit; and placing in myhands an old-looking, leather-covered book, observed, "I happened tocome across this stowed away in an old chest, Amy, and knowing yourfondness for fairy tales, I have brought it for you to read. " I scarcely heard what she said; I had glanced at the book, and onseeing "Arabian Nights" traced in large gilt letters, the ground seemedswimming before me, and I could scarcely contain my senses. Seizing thebeloved book, I made my escape as quickly as possible; and mounting upto the cupola, a tiny room with glass sides, that commanded a view ofthe country round, I effectually secured myself against interruption, and soon became fascinated out of all remembrance. The day waned intoevening--the shadows deepened around--I remember fixing my eyes on abrilliant star that seemed to come closer and closer, until it assumed astrangely beautiful form, and I lost all consciousness. In the meantime a strict search for me had been going on below. Theybegan to be alarmed at my continued absence; and after examining everyroom, the garden, and every spot on the premises, they sent around theneighborhood. I was known to be extremely fond of visiting, and everyacquaintance was interrogated in turn--of course, without success. Noone had thought of the cupola, and mamma was getting fairly frightened;when Mammy took a light, and on ascending to my dormitory, discovered mefast asleep, with the book tightly clasped to my bosom. It afterwards yielded the boys as much delight as it had me; Fred, inparticular, had a notion of trying experiments upon the plan there laidout. He had sat one afternoon for sometime with the book in hishands--apparently resolving some problem in his own mind; Mammy wasstooping over the nursery fire, when she was suddenly startled by anunexpected shower of water sprinkled over her head and neck--Fred at thesame time exclaiming, in a tone that seemed to doubt not: "I command youinstantly to turn into a coal black mare!" "I don't know what would become of you, you good-for-naught, if I did!"returned Mammy. Some years later I read "The Children of the Abbey, " and this opened anew field of thought. My dreams, instead of being peopled with fairiesand genii, were now filled with distressed damsels who met with allsorts of persecutions and Quixotic adventures, and finally ended wherethey should have commenced. CHAPTER VIII. I had a boy-lover who always selected me as his partner in all ourplays, and kept me in pointers with blue ribbons attached to them, topoint out the towns on the large map in the school-room. Charles Tracywas about my own age, but in disposition and taste he resembled mybrother Henry, and the two were quite inseparable; while his sisterEllen and I formed an acquaintance through the fence by displaying ourdolls to each other--and this was the beginning of an intimacy thatlasted a long time for children's friendships. Ellen possessed a charm which often caused me to experience theuncomfortable sensation of envy; her hair fell in long, golden-coloredringlets upon her neck and shoulders, and these same curls seemed toshake about so nicely whenever she moved her head. I sometimes thoughtthat Ellen shook them about much more than was absolutely necessary; butat the same time they excited my warmest admiration. I felt as though Icould do anything--go through with all sorts of difficulties to have myhair curl naturally; and with a feeling of unspeakable rapture Ilistened to Ellen one day as she told me in a mysterious whisper thatthe nurse had said eating crusts made her hair curl. _Eating crusts!_ What a discovery!--I immediately felt ready to eat allthe crusts in our house and every one else's. I bribed the children todeliver up all their crusts to me, and commenced eating them with avoracity that excited the surprise of all the nursery inmates. Butalready, in perspective, I beheld my head adorned with long, glossycurls, and I persevered, despite the laughter I excited. I devouredcrusts by the wholesale, but alas! no waving locks rewarded my patienttoil; and at length I had the pleasure of hearing that the crustbusiness was a fable, invented by Ellen's nurse to induce that younglady to finish her odds and ends of bread, which she was very muchdisposed to scatter about the nursery. It was cruel, after beingelevated to such a pinnacle of happiness, to find my hopes thus rudelydashed to the ground; and my hair seemed straighter than ever, fromcontrast with what I had expected it to be. Ellen was prevented fromwasting her crusts, and so far it was well; but the nurse lost by herfalsehood whatever respect I may have had for her--a loss which sheperhaps did not regard as such, or indeed trouble herself at allabout--but even a child's good opinion is something. I was very much inclined to be fleshy--too much so, I thought, forbeauty of figure; and this was another great annoyance. People inspeaking of us, always used to say: "What fine large children!" until Ihated the very sound of it, and wished most earnestly for Ellen's light, fairy-like figure. I once resolved to starve myself into growing thin;and, to Mammy's great surprise, refused to taste the dinner she handedme, and resolutely persisted in going to bed without my supper. Mammy, good old soul! watched me narrowly, not having been let into the secretof my laudable resolve; and while she supposed that I had fallen into arestless slumber, I was in reality tossing about on my trundle bed, suffering the tantalizing pains of hunger. I remonstrated with myself invain; heard all the _pros_ and _cons_ on both sides in this perplexingcase of vanity _vs. _ appetite, and finally resolved to satisfy myhunger, cost what it would. But how to do this was the next question. Enticing slices of bread andbutter kept dancing before my eyes; and at length, when I heard thesnore which announced Mammy's departure to the land of dreams, I rose asquietly as possible, and descended on a foraging expedition to thepantry. How very nice everything did look! I stood for a moment feastingmy eyes with the sight, but oh, ill-timed delay! I had not tasted asingle morsel, when a low whisper fell upon my ear, and on turning, Ibeheld Mammy gazing on me rather fearfully, while at her elbow stoodJane in night-gown and cap, who was violently rubbing her eyes in orderto clear away the fancied mist, and thus convince herself that it wasreally the veritable _me_ who was about to perform such anunheroine-like part. This discovery seemed to me exactly like those tantalizing dreams inwhich you are sitting down at a table covered with everything nice, butbefore you have time to taste anything your visions are rudelydispelled, and you wake and look in vain for the tempting paraphernalia. I once bore this in mind after being several times teased in thismanner; and resolving not to be so deceived again, I succeeded inregaling myself with a mince-pie--which appeared to me quite in thelight of a triumph. I now cast about me for some means to escape fromthis disagreeable dilemma; and having heard Mammy whisper to Jane: "Howvery wild she looks!" I found that they supposed me to be walking in mysleep, a practice to which I was somewhat addicted; and not seeing whysleep-walkers should not direct their course to the cupboard as well asanywhere else, I boldly seized a loaf and commenced an attack upon it. "Let us wait and see what she will do, " whispered Mammy. "It is very evident what she will do, now that she has the loaf in herhands, " replied Jane in a sleepy tone. "I do not believe that she isasleep at all, but just as wide awake as we are. I have read a storysomewhere, " she continued, "of a French girl who succeeded in persuadingpeople that she lived without eating; but at last some one watched thegirl closely, and one night discovered her at the pantry, regalingherself with cold chicken sufficiently to go without eating for a week. Now, Miss Amy has eaten neither dinner nor supper, and she may beimitating the French girl, in order to be made a fuss with. I will speakto her and see. " "Not for the world!" exclaimed Mammy in terror, as she grasped the moreenterprising Jane. "Do not touch her--for I have heard of its killingpeople to be awakened suddenly while in this state. " Jane obeyed, although her face still wore an incredulous expression; andI continued eating, looking as wild as possible all the time. Thenursery-maid began at length to fear that I would put an end to my ownlife, if not spoken to; but Mammy still objected--murmuring as shewatched my voracious performances; "Poor child! how hungry she must havebeen to come down and eat in her sleep! I wonder why she refused hertea?" After a while, however, I became more sleepy than hungry; and Mammy andJane kindly conveyed me back to my little bed, where I slept soundlytill morning. I was not destined to reap much glory from thisescapade--not even the glory of being a sleep-walker; for Jane, lookingme steadily in the face, said: "Now, Miss Amy, I wish you to tell metruly whether you were asleep last night, when you went down into thepantry and devoured almost a whole loaf of bread! Now be a good girl, and tell the truth, for you frightened us very much. " At first I pretended stupidity, and inquired, "what pantry?" and "whatbread?" but Jane soon discovered that I knew very well; and while shelooked at me so searchingly I could not possibly frame a plausiblestory--so, from sheer necessity, I told the whole truth, "and nothingbut the truth. " My curious attempt at getting thin excited greatamusement; but Mammy told me that she knew of a better way than that, which was to run up and down stairs as much as possible. I followed heradvice until I became tired of it; and during that period I wasuniversally acknowledged to be the most obliging child in the house, forI was quite indefatigable in running on other people's errands. I becamediscouraged, though, when I found that I remained as fat as ever; andbegan tasking my brain for some other expedient. I had gone to Ellen Tracy's to enjoy a holiday; and, quite mad withspirits, we roamed hither and thither, scarcely knowing what to do withourselves. At length Ellen proposed that we should go to "the boys'room, " and go we accordingly did. We would have recognized it as thesanctum of two or three noisy urchins of the male gender, even had wenot known it beforehand. On the dressing-table stood a top, half-a-dozenmarbles, and a fishing-line; while the walls displayed various quaintdevices of their own drawing. There was a something which, Elleninformed us, was intended for a ghost; but if so, he had a most undueproportion of flesh on his bones, and looked far more like a giant. Weconcluded to equip ourselves in male attire, for the sake ofvariety--being heartily tired of frocks and petticoats; and Ellen'spretty curls having been tucked up under a round cap, she looked sofascinating that I felt quite ambitious to rival her--but in attemptingto draw on one of Charles' jackets, I found that it would not meet roundmy waist. Oh, mortification unspeakable! to find myself larger aroundthe waist than a boy a whole year my senior! I could scarcely refrainfrom bursting into tears; forgetting that I belonged to the dumplingorder, while Charles was as slender and straight as a young birch tree. My pleasure for that day was gone; in vain Ellen displayed her wholestock of worldly possessions to tempt my admiration. I scarcely bestoweda look on anything, and returned home perfectly miserable. For days I kept my ears wide open in hopes of catching something thatmight relieve my distress, and at length I met with some success. Ioverheard a visitor telling my mother of some young lady, whose figurethey had been admiring, that she was nothing at all without hercorsets--a complete dumpling; and then followed a long digression on theimpropriety of imposing upon the public in this manner; but for that Idid not care--I determined to impose upon them too, as soon as I got achance. Soon after, a school-mate encased me in a remarkably tight pair, during an afternoon's visit; and having, as she said, 'made me lookquite genteel, ' I departed for home with the delightful consciousness ofbeing 'something of a figure. ' Before bed-time I had a romp in thegarden with my wild brother and Charles Tracy; I experienced a feelingof suffocation, while running through the paths, that became quiteinsupportable. "Why Amy!" exclaimed Charles as he grasped my arm, "What _is_ thematter? you look quite black in the face!" They all gathered around me, but unable to speak, I sank back into Charles Tracy's arms, and lostall consciousness. When I recovered, I found myself lying on my own little bed, with mymother bending fondly over me--the cause of all this trouble on a chairat my side--and Mammy, dear, good Mammy! regarding me with a puzzledlook of surprise. "Why, she actually fainted!" whispered Jane, "just dead away, like anygrown person!" "No, " replied Mammy, "the child was dreadfully squeezed, and that tookaway her breath. She'll kill herself next, with some of her capers!" Mamma now made a sign for them to be quiet, and stooping down close tomy face, asked me how I felt. I tried to answer, "better;" but the wordsalmost choked me, and I still experienced a difficulty in breathing. Theevil consequences of this attempt at the graceful were but temporary, however; and the next morning, as I sat up quite recovered, a discussiontook place between mamma and the old nurse on the propriety ofequipping me at once in corsets to improve my figure. I soon experiencedthe delight of possessing a pair of my own; on which memorable occasion, I resolved that, like the old woman, I would "neither borrow nor lend;"but the present was conditional--on the first instance of my lacing tootight it was to be taken from me. I took care that this should neverhappen--that is, to such a degree as to expose myself to punishment; butin many a scene of enjoyment did I suffer the consequences of my foolishvanity. Often while music, and dancing, and everything contributed torender a children's party delightful, I sat apart in a corner, or elsewent languidly through the figures of the dance, while every nervethrobbed with acute pain. Ellen and I had for sometime noticed that Charles and Henry were moretogether than ever. They seldom associated with us now, or asked us tojoin them; Henry proved faithless with respect to a table he hadpromised my doll, and Charles refused, for the present, to dig hissister's garden spot; therefore we put our two wise heads together andconcluded that this must mean something. The moment school was out, thecap was hastily snatched from its nail in the entry, and they bothsallied forth together--where, or for what purpose, we tried in vain todiscover. On Saturdays they were constantly at work in the barn, hammering, and cutting, and shaving; and one day we detected themmaking, over a fire which they had built on bricks in the open air, something which smelt very much like molasses candy. But upon Ellen'sventuring to communicate this to Charles, he answered contemptuouslythat "it was just like girls!--always fancying that everything wassomething eatable!" The two made a journey to town together, and came back laden with sundryparcels; and notwithstanding all this business, Henry found time to bevery industrious in weeding the flower-beds, for which my father paidhim so much an hour--and I noticed that he was uncommonly punctual inpresenting his bills. Without being very penetrating, we discoveredthat the scheme, whatever it might be, was one that required a greatdeal of time, a great deal of shopping, and a great deal of money. Weracked our brains in vain, and not a single mite of information could weextract from the boys; indeed, we might just as well have attacked twopine boards, for they pretended to be deaf as soon as we commenced ourinquiries. Ellen began to be afraid that they meditated living on somewild island, like Robinson Crusoe, for she had seen Charles privatelyappropriate a hatchet, and a ball of twine; and I inclined to theopinion that they were both going to sea, and represented to Ellen howdelightful it would be to have them making voyages and bringing usshells, and corals, and all sorts of curious things. But I was thegreatest philosopher of the two, for my more timid playmate criedbitterly at the idea; and it was sometime before I could succeed inpacifying her. We one day discovered the boys in an old barn on the premises; andwaiting patiently near by until we saw them depart on some errand to thehouse, we perceived, to our great joy that the door was unfastened; andeffecting a hasty entrance, we expected to be almost as well rewardedfor our trouble as was Blue-beard's wife on entering the forbiddenchamber. But nothing could we see except a few old boxes turned upsidedown, and along one side a neat row of shelves. We perceived indeed thatthe small window now contained four panes of glass, and we alsodiscovered two or three little shelves there. But here our discoveriesended; there was nothing to account for all the labor and privacy thathad been going on for the last two or three weeks, --and quite indespair, we returned to the house before the boys discovered our prying. Things continued in this state for sometime longer; and finding that allour efforts at discovery were not rewarded with the slightest success, we assumed an appearance of proud indifference, and pretended to be asmuch occupied with our dolls and baby-houses as they were with theirbarn. Now and then one of the boys, in the tantalizing spirit ofmischief, would thrust a parcel under our very eyes, exclaiming at thesame time: "Wouldn't you like to see the inside, though? Confess, now, that you would give your very ears to know what's in it!" "Indeed, and we would not!" in great indignation, "not we! We supposedthat it was some boys' nonsense not worth talking about, and were quiteoccupied with our own affairs, without troubling ourselves about them. " In a tone that sounded very much as though he were in earnest, Charleswould continue: "Suppose, Henry, that we let them know what it is, ifthey promise not to tell--shall we?" "By no means, " Henry would reply, with the air of a Socrates, "Women cannever keep a secret--I have heard my father say so. " "We were sure we didn't want to hear their secrets!" and indignantlyclipping away with our scissors, we turned a deaf ear to all furtherremarks. However, the secret did come to light after a while, and in amost unexpected manner. We had just received a liberal allowance of pocket-money, and whileEllen and I deliberated on the various ways in which it might be spentto advantage, Henry asked us, with a perfectly grave face, if we hadheard of the new store lately opened near us? _New_ store! Why there hadnever been any store at all, except the little stand kept by old BettyTweednor, and now Henry spoke of the new store as though such a thinghad ever existed. Certainly we had not heard of it; but resolving toremain no longer in ignorance, we seized our bonnets, and were ready tostart in a moment. Henry looked very knowing and mysterious; butfollowing his guidance, we soon found ourselves at the barn which hadbefore excited our curiosity. Why, it had been turned into a regularshop! Rows of candies, better known among children as "barber's-poles, "looked imposingly out of the window, and these were flanked by piles ofpea-nuts, apples, &c. But all these would have been nothing without thatdelight of childhood--taffy-candy; and upon a further investigation, wediscovered a very ingenious pair of clam-shell scales, with holes boredfor strings to pass through, and suspended from a stout stick which waskept in its place by being fastened to an upright piece of wood at eachend--the whole resting upon a very complete counter formed of oldboxes. It looked exactly like a real store; and behind the counter stoodCharles, as demure as possible, --while crowds of our schoolmates gazed, admired, and wondered. A sign near the door informed passers that "the proprietors, gratefulfor past favors and the patronage of a liberal public, would continuethe business under the firm of Chesbury and Tracy. " It would be asomewhat difficult task, we thought, to discover the favors andpatronage alluded to; but the young merchants had concluded that thisclause gave a dignity and air of reality to the whole. We experiencedthe pleasure of making purchases, weighed out to us from the muchadmired clam-shell scales, and were very particular in exacting fullweight. Each sale was recorded in a small account book; and long afterwe had grown to the years of discretion, our mirth was excited byaccidentally meeting with this juvenile record. So many purchases weremade that afternoon, that the young storekeepers perceived with dismaythe very visible decrease in their supplies. We accused them ofretrenching considerably in their quantities, on this discovery, andthought that they were too inexperienced for so weighty an office. Ellen and I often added to their stores by little pies and cakes whichwe manufactured at home; and in process of time their articles embracedsuch a variety that the shop became quite celebrated. Even mamma wouldsometimes come to make purchases; and the boy-merchants found theirscheme a very profitable one. But alas! it vanished with the last summerbreath; the early snows surrounded their little store, and all accessbecame inconvenient. So they had a sale at prime cost--and we thenobtained most wonderful bargains in the confectionary line. Findinghimself quite wealthy now, Charles could well afford to be generous; andpresented me with a new doll, and his sister Ellen with a miniature setof cups and saucers, over which we had many happy tea-drinkings. Wereceived no presents from Henry, and heard nothing of his money; and itwas not till some time after, and then through another source, that welearned that his portion had materially helped to keep a poor womanfrom freezing during the winter. My father often remarked of Henry, that"he was too generous and self-forgetful ever to be rich;" but there isno doubt that such have their reward--in their own consciences at least. CHAPTER IX. The winter wore rapidly away with sleigh-riding, snow-balling, and ourusual parties; and spring, lovely spring! again made its appearance. Ourflower-garden looked its very loveliest at this season; for it boastedcountless stores of hyacinths, tulips, daffodils, blue-bells, violets, crocuses, &c. I remember so well when we first noticed the little greensprouts shooting up in spots from which the snow had melted; and onmaking this discovery, we always danced into the house and shouted out:"Spring has come!" It gladdened our very hearts to find the first littleviolet that dared to show its head above the ground; and then we ran tothe peach-trees to look at the delicate pink buds that shot forth socuriously without any leaves. There was a warm sweet breath abroad uponthe air that tossed our hair about, and fanned our flushed cheeks, andwe knew that it was spring, sweet spring! that had come again to us. Oh, how delightful it was when, escaped from all watchful eyes, I couldthrow aside the troublesome sun-bonnet, that so obstructed my sight, anddig and delve at pleasure! Never in all my life have I been so happy asin these delightful spring days, when I roved about the paths with aheart full of happiness, and a sensation of thankfulness for theblessings I enjoyed. Two circumstances contributed materially to immortalize this particularspring in my recollections: I then completed my tenth year, which Ithought left me on the very threshold of womanhood, and we had two petsquirrels, who inhabited the locust trees in front of the house, with atin cage to retire to at night--one of whom we called "blackey, " and theother "browney, " from their different colors. "Blackey" was extremely mischievous, and rarely could be caught; but"browney" seemed a perfect paragon of gentleness and goodness--and Iwould seat myself on the steps, holding him for hours, and listening tothe monotonous hum of the locusts, which always filled my heart with asense of quiet happiness. Did you never sit watching the glorioussunbeams, as they fell on the soft, fresh grass, and with this low, soothing hum in your ears, feel that the earth was very beautiful? Ihave; but then I was a dreamer--an unmistakable, enthusiastic dreamer, and my fancies would, perhaps, be laughed at by the wise ones of earth. To return to "browney;" my love cooled for him very suddenly onemorning, as, with my finger in close proximity to his mouth, I sat andapostrophized him thus, "You dear, little angel, you! I love youdearly!" a sudden closing of sharp little teeth on my poor fingers putan end to my rhapsodies; and the "little angel" was most unceremoniouslydropped on the ground, from whence he made his escape to his usual home, the locust tree--and I never again sought to entice him from hisretreat. I ran about the walks as usual this spring, but it was withlanguor and indifference that I visited our usual haunts; and Iwondered what it was that made my steps so very slow and dragging--itseemed as though a weight were tied on each heel. If I attempted a racewith the boys, I was obliged to give up from very weariness; andlaughing at what they termed my laziness, they pursued their amusementswithout me. Charles Tracy would now and then bring me a bunch of wildflowers; and to the surprise of all, I preferred sitting with them in myhands to joining in my usual noisy games. I grew pale and thin; andMammy and Jane began to express their uneasiness about me, while I oftennoticed my mother's eyes fixed upon me in tender solicitude. I went to bed one night feeling restless and feverish. It was the latterpart of April, and a small wood-fire still burned on the hearth; on theembers of which I fixed my eyes steadfastly, until strange shapes andburning eyes seemed moving about the quiet hearth. I was quite alone;Mammy had gone out to spend the evening, and Jane was taking her tea inthe kitchen. Had it been for life or death I could not have spoken; Itried to scream--but a hollow sound rattled in my ears--and with thecold drops gathering on my forehead, I lay still, subdued, in a state ofdelirious agony. I was almost senseless; until at length, feeling atouch upon my arm, and a breathing at my side, I started wildly up, andeluding all pursuit, fled swiftly down the stair-case. I pressed my handtightly on my throbbing head, and gaining the kitchen, burst suddenlyin, exclaiming, "O! Jane! Jane! do not leave me again!" I sunk downinsensible; and remember nothing but a scream of horror which proceededfrom Jane, who, having just seated herself beside me as I sprang out ofbed, had followed me in a state of breathless alarm to the kitchen. When I again opened my eyes, it was about midnight. I had been conveyedto my mother's room, and now experienced the delightful sensation offinding myself in a high bed, with curtains; while my head was raised upwith pillows to an unusual height. In turning myself to obtain a betterview of the surrounding scenery, I became conscious of a stiffness in myright arm; and fairly shuddered with horror on perceiving a basin ofblood close to my bedside. But worse and worse! a few paces further offstood a grave-looking man, whom, from his very air, I knew to be adoctor. Nay, had I been at all doubtful on this point, the addition of apair of spectacles would have convinced me at once--as this is anornament especially pertaining to M. D. 's. I had always hated, loathed, dreaded a doctor as I would a nauseous object; and I now trembled tofind myself in his power--fearing that he read my dislike in my face. Spectacles, too, disconcerted me; the glimmer of the polished glassseems to add new fire to the eyes beneath; and I now beheld a pair, eyesand all, levelled directly upon me. I shuddered at the very idea of adoctor, and could never sit still in the room with one; and now therestood that horrid man, evidently regarding me as his victim, while Ifelt too weak and sick to make the least resistance. My aversion probably arose from the circumstance of once having had aloose front tooth pulled out--one that was just ready to jump outitself; which operation, I felt convinced, had left my system in a veryshattered state. Often since did I torture myself for hours by mountingup on a table before the glass, and with a string tied around a loosenedtooth, give it a little cowardly pull at intervals--lacking sufficientcourage to rid myself of my trouble at once. I have sometimes sat inthis interesting position for a whole morning; and should probably havecontinued it through the afternoon had not Fred, or Henry, perceiving myemployment, come slyly behind me and caused me to start suddenly, whichalways dislodged the troublesome tooth. My eyes rested a moment on the doctor, and then glanced off to seek somemore agreeable object, and having found mamma, she seemed like a lovelyangel in comparison with the ogre who, I felt convinced, only waited hisopportunity to put an end to my life. Mamma came close to me, andobserving my gaze still bent upon the basin, she whispered softly: "Donot look so frightened, Amy, you have only been bled--that is all, believe me. " _All_! After this announcement I wondered that I breathed at all; andhad I not been too weak should certainly have cried over the thoughtsof the pain I must have suffered in my insensibility. I made no reply, but leaned my head droopingly upon the pillow; and Dr. Irwin, taking myhand, observed: "She is very weak, and we may expect delirium beforemorning. " His first assertion received the lie direct in the strength with which Ipushed him off, as I would the touch of a viper; and clinging to mamma, I cried: "Take him away, dear mother! Take him away!--Do not let himcome near us!" "What?" exclaimed the doctor good-humoredly, "are you afraid of me, mylittle lady? Do I look so very frightful?" I was quite surprised at his pleasant tone, and on a nearer survey ofhis features, felt my passion considerably cooled; but those odiousspectacles spoiled all. I remember soon after being raised up, whilesome one held a cup to my lips, but whether the draught were good or badI was unable to determine. Dr. Irwin now took my mother aside, andwhispered something in a low tone, as he placed a small packet in herhands. I heard my mother say: "I am afraid she will never take it, doctor, " to which he replied: "But she _must_ take it, madam--we cannotconsider a child's humors in the scale with her life. " I now feltassured that some nauseous compound was being prepared for me; which Ifirmly resolved to fling in the doctor's face, should he dare toapproach me with it. I was a perfect fury when roused; and this fanciedcruelty excited my strongest passions. But Dr. Irwin wisely took himself off; and the next morning poor mammareceived half the mixture on her dress, while the other half found aresting place on the floor--a few drops only having slipped down mythroat; while one of the servants heard my screams at the end of thevillage, and the next door neighbor, prompted by humanity, sent toinquire the name of the murdered party. The next dose was moresuccessful; mamma having spread out before my eyes all her possessionswhich she thought likely to tempt me, I received permission to make achoice, on condition of swallowing a spoonful of calomel jalap. Ifurther displayed my gentleness by biting Dr. Irwin's fingers when heattempted to look at my throat, and the good man evidently regarded meas a pretty refractory patient. I always had a great horror of being sick--that is, a real, regular fitof sickness, where you are perched up in bed, and have to do as otherpeople please, and have only just what covering they please--when youare not suffered to put an arm out, or toss off a quilt that almostsmothers you, or drink a drop of cold water. Once in a while, I thought, to be just sufficiently sick to sit in the easy chair and look overmother's pretty things, or daub with her color-box, while people broughtme oranges and waited upon me, did very well. I was not a gentle, timid, feminine sort of a child, as I have said before--one who would faint atthe prick of a pin, or weep showers of tears for a slight headache; Iwas a complete little hoyden, full of life and spirits, to whom the ideaof being in bed in the day-time was extremely disagreeable--and when Ihad been "awful, " according to the nursery phraseology, the greatestpunishment that could be inflicted upon me was to send me thither toenjoy the charms of solitude. I was a female edition of my brotherFred; not quite so prone to tricks and mischief, perhaps--but almost aswild and unmanageable. Now and then Fred would come down in the morning pale, sick, andsubdued-looking; his head tightly bound with a handkerchief, and hiswhole countenance expressive of suffering. A sick headache was the onlything that could tame him; and a smile of ineffable relief sat on thefaces of the others as they glanced at his woe-begone visage. He was assecure for that day as though chained hand and foot. My quiet hours werewhen some fascinating book engrossed my whole attention; I drank in eachword, and could neither see nor hear anything around. But here I was, really sick and quiet, ill in bed for a wholemonth--day-time and all; and oh! the nauseous doses that somehow slippeddown my unwilling throat! Sometimes I would lie and watch the othersmoving around and doing as they chose, and then, feeling galled by myown sense of dependence and inefficiency, the warm blood would glowquickly as before, and springing hastily up, I determined to throw offthis weary feeling of lassitude. But it was of no use; all I could dowas to sink back exhausted, and "bide my time. " When the first stage of my illness was passed, poor mamma, completelyworn out, would often leave me to the care of Mammy or Jane; withnumerous directions to see that I took whatever had been left for me byDoctor Irwin. I always liked to have Jane with me, for I _loved_ her;and the medicine never seemed to taste so bad when she gave it to me. She had various ways of smoothing this disagreeable duty; and one nightwhen I had been rather obstreperous, she cut a pill in two and tookhalf, by way of keeping me company; saying as she swallowed it that"perhaps it might do her some good. " When I became well enough to leavemy bed I sat in a nice easy-chair drawn close up to the window, fromwhence I could see the early flowers that were now blooming in fullbeauty in the garden below, while some amusing book rested on my lap. Iremember that they brought me the very first strawberries that ripened;and the neighbors were so kind that many a well-relished delicacy wassent in "for Mrs. Chesbury's sick child. " I was just able to run about, but still looking very pale and thin, whenAunt Henshaw arrived on a visit. "What!" exclaimed she, "can this be themadcap, Amy? Why, you look like a ghost, child! What in the world haveyou been doing to yourself--studying too hard?" The old lady possessed no great powers of penetration, and not beingsufficiently discerning to distinguish between the love of reading andthe love of study, she concluded, from seeing me often with a book in myhand, that I was quite a studious character. Aunt Henshaw remained aweek or two; and though not exactly sick, I remained thin and drooping, and seemed to get no stronger as the season advanced. The state of myhealth was canvassed over and over again in the family circle; and oneday, when they were all gazing upon me with anxious solicitude, andremarking upon my pale cheeks, Aunt Henshaw observed: "She needs achange of air, poor child! She must go home with me. " CHAPTER X. I was quite surprised at the effect which this remark produced. Althoughan only daughter, I had never been much caressed at home--I was alwaysso troublesome that they loved me best at a distance. If I happened toget into the library with my father, I was sure to upset the inkstand, or shake the table where he sat writing--or if admitted to my mother'sapartment, I made sad havoc with her work-basket, and was very apt toclip up cut out articles with my little scissors--which said scissors Iregarded with the greatest affection; in the first place because theywere my own private property, and in the next place, they afforded methe delightful pleasure of clipping--that great enjoyment of childhood;but they did so much mischief that complaints against them were loudand long, and I quite trembled at an oft-repeated threat of taking themaway. My mother evidently disapproved of Aunt Henshaw's proposal, and myfather drawing me towards him affectionately, said: "I am afraid wecould not part with our little madcap--we should miss her noise sadly. " The idea of being missed, and actually made a subject of argument, wassomething quite new to me; and glancing in surprise from one to theother, I awaited the issue in silence, scarcely knowing whether I wishedto go or stay. But Aunt Henshaw carried her point. She represented somany advantages to be gained by the change, where I could run aboutquite wild, rolling among the fresh hay, and breathing the pureair--insisting that it must bring a color into my pale cheeks--that myparents at length yielded. Now began the delightful bustle of preparation. My mother turned over myscanty wardrobe with perplexed looks; and an immediate cutting andclipping took place, by which old gowns of hers were made into bran newones for me. Nor was this all--some were bought on purpose for me; andI had two or three delightful jaunts to the city, to choose the patternsfor myself; and I wondered if anybody ever had so many, new things atonce as I was about to have. I became quite a wonder in the family--aperson whose movements were of the utmost importance; for I was going tobe away from them the whole summer, and it seemed an almost endlessseparation. Mammy was not at all pleased at their sending her child awayfrom her; the old nurse even cried over me, and insisted upon it that Ihad always been a paragon of excellence, and that she could not livewithout me. My father gave me some money to buy her a present, theselection of which was to be left entirely to my own taste; and the sumI expended in a manner perfectly characteristic: I procured a largebunch of gay beads for Mammy, and presented Jane with the wonderfulhistory of little Red Riding Hood. Both treasured them as carefully, andapparently valued them as highly, as if they had been better selected;and being quite confident that they would prefer them to anything else, I was much surprised at the disapprobation expressed in the familycircle. I gave Henry a little pincushion, which I made on purpose for him, andnot knowing what to present Fred with, I allowed him to rip open mysecond-best doll, which was still in quite a good state of preservation. Fred had always possessed an inquiring mind, and an inclination toinspect the contents of everything, in consequence of which mypossessions often suffered--and this employment now afforded him themost intense satisfaction; while I, with a certain feeling of curiosity, and yet scarcely able to repress an effort for the rescue of poor dolly, stood watching the proceeding. Nothing appeared, however, but saw-dust;although Fred had positively assured me that he had no doubt we wouldfind a diamond ring, or a piece of money, at least--as people often didwhere they least expected it; and it was partly this consideration thatled me to consent to the dissection, for we had made an agreement todivide the spoils. Fred's head was always filled with wonderful schemes of this nature, and if he had not been so lazy and fond of mischief he would have made asmart boy; for he was always reading books containing wonderfulresearches into the productions of former centuries; and beingparticularly interested in the study of minerals and different speciesof rock, he often endeavored to explain to me the various forms ofstrata which were found below the earth; but my comprehension could nottake it in. He was continually poring over fossil remains, and diggingin the garden for something curious. He one day ran in with his apronfull of stones and other rubbish, and holding up in triumph an object ofvarious hues, through which a slight blue shade was distinctly visible, he called out eagerly: "See, mother! I have really found some fossilremains at last!" Mamma took the admired treasure in her hand, as Fred desired; and as shedid so, a smile that had hovered about her mouth grew deeper and deeper;and finally her amusement burst forth in a hearty laugh. Fred seized hisprize indignantly, and after washing it with the greatest care, foundhimself in possession of the spout of an old crockery tea-pot. We heardno more of fossil remains after that; though he still pursued hisresearches privately--having, I believe transferred his expectationsfrom fossil remains to golden treasures. He was hardly more successfulin this line, as he never found anything to reward his toil except asolitary five-pence, that he mistook for a gold piece, and whichrequired more rubbing and scouring to make it distinguishable than itwas worth. Having sacrificed my doll on the shrine of sisterlyaffection, not to mention the dross of private interest, I concludedthat I had done as much for Fred as he had any right to expect; andemployed myself in arranging sugar-plums in various attractive forms, asfarewell presents to my younger brothers. The eventful morning arrived on which I was to take my departure. It wasmy first absence from home for any length of time, and I had scarcelybeen able to sleep at all during the night--my mind being occupied withthe one all-engrossing thought. I scarcely dared to listen at first, forfear I should hear it rain; but the sun shone brightly in all the gloryof a clear June morning, and springing out of bed, I dressed myself asexpeditiously as possible, for fear that Aunt Henshaw might go offwithout me. "What then was my surprise, when after breakfast I saw theold lady sit down as usual, and after carefully wiping her spectacles, take up a book she had been perusing, just as if the greatest event ofmy life were not about to occur that very day? "Why, Aunt Henshaw!" said I in a tone of acute disappointment, "Are wenot going to-day?" "Certainly, my dear, " was her reply, "But the stage coach will not behere till two o'clock, and I have all my things ready. " What could I possibly do with the six intervening hours? I too had allmy things ready; and my spirits were now in a state that absolutelyrequired excitement of some kind or other. I tried to read, but it wasimpossible to fix my thoughts on the subject--even the Arabian Nightsfailed to interest me; and after wondering for some time at AuntHenshaw, who could view the near prospect of a journey that wouldoccupy two or three days with the most perfect composure, I proceeded tomy mother's apartment. I had not been there long before I got up a cry, and felt more doubtful than ever whether I wished to go. But mammatalked with me for some time; and having clearly ascertained that it wasmy parents' wish that I should go, in hopes of benefiting my health bythe change, I comforted myself with the idea of martyrdom on a smallscale. I put my doll to board with Ellen Tracy until my return, at a charge ofso many sugar-plums a week; with strict injunctions not to pull its armsor legs out of order, or attempt to curl its hair. I could not eat amouthful of dinner, but Aunt Henshaw stowed away some cake for me in acorner of her capacious bag; a proceeding which then rather amused me, but for which I was afterwards exceedingly thankful. The time seemedalmost interminable; I threw out various hints on the value ofexpedition, the misery of being behindhand, and the doubtful punctualityof stage-coaches--but Aunt Henshaw remained immovable. "As to its coming before the appointed time, " said she, "I never heardof such a thing. It is much more likely to leave us altogether. " Dreadful idea! Suppose it should! I stood flattening my nose against thewindow-pane in hopes of spying the welcome vehicle; but it did not evenglimmer in the far distance. Full half an hour before the time, I wasequipped in the wrappers which my invalid state required, impatientlyawaiting the expected clatter of wheels. At length it rolled rapidly upto the door; a shabby-looking vehicle, drawn by four horses--and aperfect wilderness of heads and eyes looked forth from the windows, while legs and arms dangled from the top. It was quite full; and severalvoices called out, "They can't come in, driver! It's impossible!" What a blank fell upon my hopes at these cruel words! The people lookedso savage and unpitying, and I thought that after all we must stay athome--there seemed no crevice of space into which we could forceourselves; and in silent consternation I surveyed Aunt Henshaw'ssubstantial proportions. But she was an experienced traveller; andmaking her adieus with a degree of composure and certainty that quitereassured me, she took me by the hand and advanced to the stage assmilingly as though they had all invited her to enter. The driver'seagle eye spied out a seat for Aunt Henshaw--a kind-looking oldgentleman took me on his lap--the door was closed, and away we rattled. Aunt Henshaw, never much given to silence, found a congenial companionin the gentleman who had given me a seat; they were soon engaged in ananimated conversation on the pleasures of farming, during which I wentto sleep--nor was I aroused until about two hours after, when we foundourselves landed at the wharf. We went on board the packet, andproceeded to the cabin, where I was surprised, amused, and ratherfrightened at the appearance of the narrow-looking boxes which we weredestined to sleep in. But Aunt Henshaw assured me that there was nodanger; and I found from experience that I could sleep almost as wellthere as in my own bed at home. The wind was unfavorable, and we were almost a week on the water; butat length we reached New London and proceeded to Waterford. AuntHenshaw's family, I knew, consisted only of a daughter--her sons havingmarried and settled away from her--and to the meeting with this cousinStatia, I looked forward with some anxiety. It was almost dark when weapproached the house; a real farmhouse, with lilac and syringa bushes infront, and a honeysuckle running over the piazza. A little dog came outand barked at us--a sensible-looking cat rested on the porch--and in thedoor-way stood Cousin Statia. She kissed me affectionately, and appearedglad to see her mother; and we were all soon seated around the table, where fresh cottage-cheese, crimson radishes, and warm tea-cakes lookedinvitingly forth. I was rather disappointed in the appearance of Cousin Statia; I hadexpected to see a fresh, smiling-looking country girl, but I found astiff, demure-looking young lady, at whose age I scarcely dared venturea guess. A little colored girl waited on the table, who evidentlysurveyed me with a great deal of interest; for I constantly caught thesharp glances of her little black eyes. She had been christenedAholibama--a name which she told me was taken out of some story-book, though I afterwards found that it was in the Bible--but this being toolong an appellation, they had abbreviated it to Holly. During a hastyglance into the cheerful kitchen, I caught a glimpse of a verynice-looking colored woman, who, I afterwards found, was Sylvia, thecook. Everything looked very pleasant around, though plain; but I was tiredand sleepy, and at an early hour Cousin Statia conducted me to a small, neat room in the second story, with white curtains; and afterascertaining that I could undress myself, she left me for a short time, promising to come and take the candle. I felt the least bit homesick andwished very much to see them all; but I was also very much interested inthe novelty of a new scene, and anticipated a great deal of pleasure inexamining the premises. Aunt Henshaw had told me that she believed therewere kittens somewhere around, and I determined to search till I foundthem; for a little pet kitten appeared to me the sweetest of allcreated things. In the meantime, I began to experience a very uncomfortable sensationthat quickly swallowed up all other thoughts. Cousin Statia had takenthe candle, but it was a bright, moonlight night, and the beautifulmoonbeams that came dancing in and formed a perfect network upon thefloor, made the room almost as light as day. It was not very warmweather, but I felt the perspiration pouring down, while I trembled inevery limb. My eyes were fixed with a sort of fascination on theopposite wall, where the shadow of a figure seemed to pass and repass;and every time it arrived at a certain point, there was a sort of a kickup, as though with the feet behind. I looked all around, as soon as Idared to, but everything was still except the tormenting shadow. Iscarcely breathed, but kept watching the queer figure, till I was almostready to faint from cowardice. I tried to reason with myself--and calledto mind how my father had endeavored to banish this weakness; how onenight on being afraid to go into the cellar, he had himself gone withme and examined every corner, to convince me that there was nothing tofear; and under the impulse of these reflections I sprang out of bed, determined to investigate the mystery. I went in every part of the room;I examined the window, the curtains, but nothing was to be seen, whilethe figure still continued its movements; and almost sick, I returned tobed, to lie and watch the shadow. All sorts of queer stories rushed intomy head; I tried to forgot them and think of something else, but it wasimpossible. The movement was slow, regular, and punctual. At last I could stand it no longer; I rushed to the window, determinedto stay there till the mystery was explained, for I felt convinced thatI should find it there. I directed my eyes piercingly to every part ofthe curtains; and at length I perceived that the window had been letdown at the top. I closed it, arranged the curtains differently, andthen, in some trepidation, returned to my shadow. It had disappeared;and I now understood that the formidable figure was merely a part of thecurtain, which, influenced by the night wind, swayed to and fro, causing the shadow on the wall. I do not think I ever experienced a cowardly feeling afterwards; thatnight perfectly satisfied me that superstition was the most unreasonabletorture that could be inflicted on oneself; and I was ever afterwardscelebrated for my bravery. Even my father praised my conduct, and saidthat it was pretty well for a girl of ten years, under suchcircumstances--at the same time representing to me how much morereasonable such a course was, than screaming would have been, to rousethe household for nothing. I went quietly to sleep, and dreamed neitherof goblins nor ghosts, but of a dear little spotted kitten with a blueribbon around its neck. CHAPTER XI. I did not wake very early the next morning, and when I opened my eyes, Iperceived Cousin Statia standing by my bedside, who had been endeavoringto waken me. Her manner was rather solemn as she announced that AuntHenshaw was waiting for me to commence the morning services. At thisinformation I felt very much mortified; and springing quickly out ofbed, I was soon dressed and in the breakfast room. Aunt Henshaw sat witha large Bible open before her; and after kissing me kindly, she read achapter, and then offered a short prayer. After breakfast, Cousin Statia proceeded to wash up the cups andsaucers, which she always did for fear of their being broken; AuntHenshaw proceeded to the poultry yard, and I accompanied her. She had alarge tin pan in her hand, filled with moistened Indian meal, with whichshe fed the chickens; of which there seemed an endless number, both oldand young. Then we went to the barn-yard, and she showed me a youngcalf; but it was an awkward-looking thing, that scampered about withoutsense or meaning. But I had not forgotten the kittens, and I asked AuntHenshaw where they were. She said that she would look; and going intothe barn, we peered around, in mangers and out-of-the-way places, without the least success; and we concluded that the old cat must havehid them up in the mow. "Perhaps Holly knows, though, " said the old lady, on noticing mydisappointment, "very little escapes her eyes, and we can at least callher and see. " Holly was called, but with not much more success than our hunt after thekittens, so we were obliged to proceed to the kitchen--a wing on thesame floor with the parlor and dining-room. Holly was now visible, peeling apples, and evidently glad to be released from her task, sheprofessed herself perfectly acquainted with the whereabouts of thekittens. "But can we get them?" asked Aunt Henshaw. "Oh yes, Missus, " replied Holly, "if you'll only 'tice the old catsomewhere and shut her up. She'd 'spect suthin' if she saw me, andthere'd be no gittin' rid of her; and if she once ketched us at thebisness, she'd scratch our very eyes out--cats is always dreadful skeeryabout their kittens. " There was something in this speech which grated on my ear as painfullyungrammatical; and I resolved, on the first opportunity, to instructHolly in the rudiments of grammar. She remained in the kitchen whileAunt Henshaw, after calling "pussy" in an affectionate manner, shut thecat up in the dining-room; and our guide then led the way to thekittens. The garret stairs turned off in two directions; one led toabout four or five steps, beneath which was a hollow place extendingsome distance back, where Holly had often seen the old cat go in and outin a private manner. "Now, " said she, "you stay here, and I'll jest git the rake and rakethe kittens out for Miss Amy, here. " "But I am afraid you will hurt them, " said Aunt Henshaw. "It ain't very likely, " replied Holly confidently, "that they're a-goingto be so shaller as to git hurt. They'll squirm over the points of therake, and take care of themselves. " The rake was brought; and five little sprawling kittens, with their eyesscarcely open, were soon crawling at my feet. "Oh, you dear littleangels!" I exclaimed in ecstasy. "Rather black-looking angels, " said Aunt Henshaw with a smile. I took them up, one after another, and was quite at a loss which toadmire most. There were three black ones, one grey, and one white onespotted. I rather thought I preferred the white and grey, while Hollyclaimed the three black ones. We took them all to the kitchen and placeda saucer of milk before them, while Holly let out the cat, that shemight see how well we were treating them. She looked around in surpriseat first; but then deliberately taking them one by one, she carriedthem all off in her mouth, and we saw nothing more of them for sometime. I spent the morning in wandering about; and in the afternoon I sat inthe parlor with Cousin Statia, who was knitting as fast as her needlescould fly. I asked her for a book; and after some search, she handed methe "Pilgrim's Progress, " in which I soon became deeply interested, while Aunt Henshaw took a nap in her chair. Towards evening the oldwhite horse was harnessed up, and we took a drive; Aunt Henshaw beingdetermined, as she said, to put some color in my pale cheeks. Theyevidently thought a great deal of this old horse, whom they called Joe;but I mentally compared him with my father's carriage-horses--acomparison not much to his advantage. Cousin Statia drove, but Joe didnot seem much disposed to go. Every now and then he came to astand-still, and I quite wanted to get out and push him along. But theysaw nothing uncommon in his behavior, and even congratulated themselvesupon his being so careful. Aunt Henshaw said that such dreadfulaccidents had happened in consequence of horses running away withpeople, and that Joe's great virtue consisted in his being so perfectlygentle. We did not drive very far, and on our return found that Sylvia had teaall ready and waiting for us. The old colored woman was quite tasty inher ideas, and had garnished an immense dish of strawberries withflowers and leaves, through which the red fruit gleamed most temptinglyforth. After tea, when Cousin Statia had taken up her knitting, and AuntHenshaw was seated in her usual chair, I placed a low stool beside herfor myself, and begged for one of her usual stories. She was a veryentertaining old lady, with a great deal of natural wit, and abundantreminiscences of the times in which she had lived. Nothing delighted usmore than to hear her stories of the Revolution, in many of which shefigured as principal actor; and I now expected a rich treat. "Well, I do not know, " replied Aunt Henshaw in answer to my question, "Ithink I must have told you all. " This remark, I knew from experience, was the prelude to something evenmore interesting than usual, and I waited patiently for her to begin. "Did I ever tell you, " she continued, "of the time that Statia went toher Uncle Ben's at night, with no one except her two little brothers?" I had never heard the narrative, and eagerly settled myself in theposition of a listener. "Statia, " said her mother, "you had better tell the story--perhaps youremember it better than I do. " "It was a raw November night, " she began, "and though it did not exactlystorm, the wind moaned and raged through the trees, blowing the fallenleaver about in gusts, and making a pleasant fire seem doubly cheerful. The large hickory logs were roaring and blazing in our huge fireplaceand my father, my mother, my two brothers, and myself were gatheredaround the fire. I was the eldest, but I was then only twelve years old;and yet, I remember always to have felt a great deal of care andresponsibility towards the other children I never can forget the night, for I then experienced my first lesson of self-forgetfulness; andwhenever I speak of it, it seems as of something just passed. As I wassaying, we all sat by the fire, and had just been talking of theBritish, who were dreaded and feared by us children as a race of ogres. The door opened suddenly, and John, one of the hired men, stood beforeus, his countenance expressive of some disaster. My father and motherboth rose in apprehension, and demanded the cause of his seeming terror. "Why sir, " he stammered, "perhaps it ain't after all, anything so verybad--there may not be any real danger; though it ain't exactly what youwould have chosen. I have just come from the post-office, and they saythat a party of British have landed about four miles below, and willprobably come and take supper with you. I do not believe they will doanything worse, but it is best to be ready. " My mother turned very pale, but she did not faint; she was a truedaughter of America, and always tried to repress all outward signs ofweakness. "I can load the guns, " said she, "and attend to thesupper--but what will become of the children? These soldiers may perhapsbe intoxicated, and might set fire to the house. " "They must be sent away, " replied my father; "How long will it be beforethe British get here?" he continued. "About two hours I should think, " was John's reply; "and this being thefirst farmhouse they pass, they will probably stop here. " "Statia, " said my father, turning to me, "it is my wish that you takeyour brothers and go as quickly as possible to your Uncle Ben's, whereyou will be out of danger. I must send you _alone_, my child, for I canspare no one to accompany you. But it is not a dark night, and you arewell acquainted with the road. I see no other alternative. " "I trembled in every limb, but I had been brought up with the greatestdeference for my parents' wishes, and should not have dared to disputemy father's command, even had he told me to do a much harder thing. Thechildren began to cry, for they were afraid of being murdered on theroad; but my mother succeeded in soothing them; and well bundled up, wereceived a kiss and blessing from our parents, and started on our drearyjourney. Here was I quite alone, except my two little brothers, whoclung to me as we went along, and cried with terror, with three longmiles before me, and the wind blowing around us with such fury that wecould scarcely keep our feet. My younger brother now complained of thecold; and resolved to protect them at whatever cost to myself, I tookoff my cloak and wrapped it about him. I had only a shawl left; andwrapping my arms in its thin folds, while the children grasped my skirt, we proceeded slowly along. It was fortunate for us that the moon shonebrightly, for, even as it was, I was puzzled about the way. But atlength we reached the well-known house, and surprised enough were theyto see us; but when we told them the reason, my uncle immediatelystarted for my father's house, to render any assistance that might berequired. The night passed, however, without the expected invasion; theBritish proceeded in another direction, and our cold, lonely walk mighthave been dispensed with. But my father called me his brave littlegirl, and said that in future he could always trust me--while my motherpressed us silently to her bosom, and as she kissed us, I felt the warmtears falling on my face. She too had had her trial on that fearfulnight. " I felt very thankful that my parents had never required such adisagreeable proof of obedience; for, not possessing the firm principleof right which characterized Cousin Statia, even as a child, I shouldhave been very much disposed to resist their authority. "Well, " said Aunt Henshaw, "that is a story of which Statia may well beproud, but her telling it has just put me in mind of something else. Ionce had a large jar of sour milk standing before the fire, which I wasgoing to make into cottage-cheese, when one of the servants camerunning, in breathless haste, with the news that three British soldierswere approaching the house. Plunder was generally the object of suchstragglers, and there was quite a large sum of gold lying in a bureaudrawer, which I felt very unwilling to part with. My husband was fromhome, so seizing the money, I quietly dropped it all in the jar ofmilk. I had just finished this exploit when the soldiers entered; andafter eating in a manner that made the children fear they would next beprecipitated down their capacious throats, they began to look about forplunder. I tried to be as composed as possible, and this, I think, keptthem a little in awe; for they were perfectly civil in words, and did nodamage, except to turn things topsy turvy. They found nothing to suitthem, till spying a very good coat of Mr. Henshaw's, one of them coollyencased himself in it and they all walked off together. " I watched themfrom the window, and perceiving that they had left the gate open, Icalled out after them: "Be kind enough to shut the gate, will you? I amafraid the pigs will get in. " They stopped a moment, smiled, and thendid as I requested. "Ah, Amy, " said my aunt in conclusion, "thenecessity of the times was a school that taught women far more of therealities of life than they learn now-a-days. " Aunt Henshaw fell into a long revery; and a pair of eyes, which had beenglimmering near the door for some time, suddenly disappeared, and Iheard the retreating footsteps of Holly as she took her way to thekitchen. The little colored girl always kept her eyes and ears open, andnever lost an opportunity to gain knowledge of any description. A greatdeal which she had stealthily learned was communicated to me during mystay; and I am sorry to say that I was more hurt than benefitted by thecompanionship. Aunt Henshaw, though kind, did not appear to me in thelight of a playmate, and Cousin Statia seldom opened her lips--being tooindustrious to waste time in talking; so that, for want of more suitablecompany, I descended to the kitchen. The next morning, having obtained Aunt Henshaw's permission, I went outto feed the chickens; and having drawn them near the wood-pile, Iconfined my favors almost exclusively to a sober-looking hen and fivelittle chickens. When the pan was empty, I conceived that I had wellearned the right, and putting my hand down softly, I took up a cunninglittle thing and hugged it in delight. But a terrible flapping of wingssounded close to my ears--I could scarcely distinguish any thing--anddropping the chicken, I fell across the chopping-log. The old hen rushedfuriously at me, and kept beating me with her wings; while I, afraidthat my eyes would be pecked out, could do nothing but scream. Some one, at length, picked me up; and when I ventured to look around, I beheldSylvia, who stood beside me, laughing immoderately. Holly soon joinedthe company, and even Cousin Statia seemed amused; while Aunt Henshawcarefully examined my eyes to see that they had sustained no injury. "I ought to have told you not to touch the chickens, " said the old lady;"for the hen would even sacrifice her life to protect them. " But experience is the best teacher, after all--the lessons thus gained, though more disagreeable, are seldom forgotten; and I never againmeddled with the chickens. This seemed destined, though, to be a day of misfortunes, to which thechicken business was but a slight commencement. The evening was mostlovely, and I accompanied Holly, who bad gone to feed the pigs. A fenceseparated the pen from the rest of the yard; and on this fence it wasHolly's usual practice to perch herself and watch the motions of hercharges. She looked so comfortable that I determined to follow herexample; and having gained the eminence, I looked around in triumph. Butoh, how sad to tell! but a few moments elapsed ere I found myselffloundering in the mire beneath; while the pigs all rushed towards me asthough I had been thrown there for them to make a supper of. Holly wasquite convulsed with laughter; but my screams now became terrific; andcalling Sylvia, the two extricated me from my unpleasant predicament. I was truly a pitiable object, but my white dress was the greatestsufferer: while the tears that rolled down my cheeks grew blacker andblacker as they descended. I almost wished myself home again; butSylvia, between her paroxyms of laughter, told me "not to cry, and theywould soon make me look as good as new--any how, missus musn't see me insuch a pickle. " They fell to scraping and scouring with the greatestzeal, and then placed me before the kitchen fire to dry. "How the pigs did run!" said Holly; "'spect, Miss Amy, they mistook youfor a little broder!" At this sally Sylvia laughed louder than ever; but perceiving mydistress, she observed, in a kind tone: "Never mind, Miss Amy, we can'thelp laughing, you know--and you'll laugh too, when you git out of thishere mess. But we do really feel sorry for you, for you look reel awful;I only hope old missus won't come in and ketch you. " But in a few moments the kind face of Aunt Henshaw looked into the sceneof distress which the kitchen had now become, and surprise at myappearance rendered her almost speechless. But she soon recoveredherself; and under her direction I was immersed in a tub of water, whilemy unfortunate clothes were consigned to the same fate. After thisceremony I was advised to go to bed; and thither I accordingly repaired, thinking how forlorn it was to fall into the pig-pen on such a beautifulevening. The whole household seemed disposed to bear in mind that unfortunateoccurrence; when about to fall into mischief, Aunt Henshaw would say ina peculiar tone: "Remember the pig-pen, Amy!" or, when troubling Sylvia, it would be; "I guess you learned that in the pig-pen, Miss Amy;" andeven Holly took up the burden of the song, till I heartily wished thatshe had taken the plunge instead of myself. Before long they alldiscovered that I was very prone to such scrapes; I dropped a very nicehat down the well, which, for fear of its spoiling the water, they spenta great deal of time in fishing up--I fell from the mow, but fortunatelysustained no injury; and Sylvia one day caught me skimming off thecream--an amusement which I considered very innocent, but she speedilyundeceived me. CHAPTER XII. Two or three weeks passed on very pleasantly, and I began to think ittime to write a letter home. I had made but little progress in the art, and letter-writing always appeared to me a great undertaking; but AuntHenshaw, having one afternoon provided me with pen, ink, and paper, andelevated me nicely with the large Bible and my "Pilgrim's Progress, " Isat biting the end of my quill, and pondering over some form ofcommencement. I had already written "dear mother" at the top; at lengthI added after considerable reflection: "I am well, and hope that you are the same. It is very pleasant here. Nomore at present from Your affectionate Daughter, AMY. " Aunt Henshaw pronounced this "very well--what was of it;" and CousinStatia smiled, though I could not well why; but her smiles were so fewand far between that they always set me a wondering. The letter wassealed, however, and enclosed in a larger one of Aunt Henshaw's, whoprobably gave a more detailed account of matters and things than I hadgiven. In the meantime, I was fast regaining the blooming, hoyden appearancemost natural to me; and Aunt Henshaw continued to write glowing accountsof my improvement. In due time my scrawl was answered by a mostaffectionate letter from mamma, to which was added a postscript by myfather; and I began to rise wonderfully in my own estimation, inconsequence of having letters addressed entirely to myself. I evenundertook to correct Sylvia for speaking ungrammatically, which made hervery angry; and she took occasion to observe, that she had not lived solong in the world to be taught grammar by young ladies who fell intopig-pens. One great source of amusement at Henshaw's, was to watchSylvia making cheeses. Sometimes she allowed me to make small ones, which I pressed with geranium leaves; but one day, being a little out ofhumor, she refused to let me have the rennet unless I could find it. --Isearched through the kitchen and everywhere for it, and spent the wholemorning in looking, till I almost despaired of finding it; but at lengthI pushed aside a tub, and there it was. This was one of Sylvia'speculiarities. She was an excellent servant, and having been a long timein the family, Aunt Henshaw allowed her to have pretty much her own way. Sylvia was not wanting in sense, and often, when the old lady thoughtshe had obtained the better of the dispute, she was, in reality, yielding to the sagacity of the colored woman. Holly was a sort ofsatellite, and evidently quite in awe of her superior; but Sylviaregarded her as the very quintescence of laziness, and always delightedto set her at some interminable job. It was much more to Holly's tasteto look after the cows and pigs, and wander about the premises, than towash dishes and peel potatoes; but she dared not resist the cook'sauthority. One Sunday morning I was left at home, in consequence of not being well, with strict injunctions not to get into mischief; while Aunt Henshaw, Cousin Statia, and Sylvia went to church--the superintendence of thehouse being placed in Holly's charge. I settled myself by the parlorwindow with my "Pilgrim's Progress" and pursued the thread ofChristian's adventures; while I glanced from time to time on theprospect without, while the hum of the locusts and lowing of the cowscame borne upon my ear like pleasant sounds. I laid down my book to reada chapter in the Bible, and was enjoying a very pleasant frame of mindwhen the tempter came, in the shape of Holly, and beckoned me into thekitchen. Nothing loath, I followed eagerly; and the colored girl proposed that weshould have a small baking. The fire had been carefully put out in thekitchen, and we concluded to make one on bricks in the yard. Afterpuffing and blowing with considerable energy, Holly kindled a flame;and we then concluded to mix up some gingerbread, and bake it inclam-shells As I heard the monotonous hum of the bees, and remarked thestillness around, while everything seemed to speak of the Sabbath, myconscience reproached me; and I was several times on the point ofturning back into the parlor, but I lacked sufficient courage to resistHolly's glowing descriptions of our gingerbread that was to be. Thestore-room closet was pretty dark, and Holly was obliged to go byguess-work in selecting her materials, but all seemed right; and intriumph we placed several clam-shells of dough on the fire to bake. Weworked very hard to keep up the flames, but the baking progressedslowly; and we dreaded to hear the sound of wheels that announced thereturn of the church-goers. It was done at last, and we sat down toenjoy the feast. I broke off a piece, and put it in my mouth, expectingto find a delicious morsel, but it had a very queer taste; and I sawthat Holly was surveying it with an appearance of the greatestcuriosity. "What is the matter?" said I, "What have you done to it, Holly?" "Well, I guess I've put in lime instead of flour, " she replied. It was but too true; and just then we heard the sound of wheels, and avigorous lifting of the great brass knocker. Holly hurriedly clearedaway all signs of our employment, and then opened the door; while Ireturned to my books, convinced that the poorest time to makegingerbread was on Sunday, and in the dark. But Aunt Henshaw discoveredour proceedings through Sylvia, who complained that some one had droppedmolasses in the lime; which she soon traced to Holly, and I was neverleft home again on Sunday, alone. "Once, " said Aunt Henshaw, when I had, as usual, solicited a story, "there was a report that the British were about to sack New London. Thecity was a scene of hurry and confusion. Carriages were driving hitherand thither, laden with silver plate and other valuables, which theowners were glad to place in the hands of any respectable-lookingstranger they met, for safe-keeping. Several pieces were placed in ourcarriage; among others a handsome silver tankard and half-a-dozengoblets, which were never reclaimed. I have always kept them to thisday. " She showed me these articles, which were extremely rich and massive, andthe old lady always kept them carefully locked in a capaciousside-board; never taking them out except to look at. "Aunt Henshaw, did you ever see a lord?" I inquired. "Plenty of them, " was her reply, "lords were as thick as blackberriesduring the Revolution. " "How did they look?" said I. "Very much like other people--and often pretty distressed. " I was then surprised at this information, but I have since learnedbetter; for I have seen the House of Lords in England, and they are, forthe most part, a common, uninteresting-looking assembly. "There was a Lord Spencer, " continued my aunt, "a very wild young man, who was constantly committing some prank or other--though alwaysstrictly honorable in repairing any damages he occasioned. He once, formere sport, shot a fine colt, belonging to an old farmer, as he wasquietly grazing in the field. Even his companions remonstrated with him, and endeavored to prevent the mischief; but he laid them a wager that heshould not only escape punishment, but that he would even make the oldfarmer perfectly satisfied with his conduct. They accepted his bet, andanxious to see how he would extricate himself, they accompanied him tothe residence of the old farmer. "That is a very fine colt of yours, " began the young lord, "I shouldlike to purchase him. " "He is not for sale, " replied the farmer, shortly. "I suppose not, " rejoined the visitor. "But what would you value him atin case any accident happened to him through the carelessness of others?What sum would pay you for it?" "A hundred dollars would cover his value, " said the farmer, after someconsideration, "but has any thing happened to him, that you ask thesequestions?" "Yes, " replied the lord, "I have unfortunately shot him--and here is twohundred dollars as an equivalent. " Lord Spencer won his wager, for the farmer had made at least a hundreddollars, and being extremely fond of money, he could not regret the lossof his colt. "This is a specimen, Amy, of what lords are; so do not go toforming any exalted notions of them, as of a superior race of beings. Itwas very cruel in Lord Spencer to shoot the poor animal--but it washonorable in him to make up the farmer's loss, for it doubled the amountof wages he gained; yet to sum up the proceeding, it was wrong--forbesides killing an inoffensive animal, it did not belong to him. " Aunt Henshaw seldom failed to point out the right and wrong in herstories, for she feared that I would be carried away with whatever wasmost dazzling, and thus form erroneous impressions. It is an excellentmaxim that "people should be just before they are generous;" and did allbear this in mind while admiring actions that often dazzle with a falseglitter, they would assume a totally different appearance. Every few days there was an inundation of different cousins who livedbut a few miles distant; and then there was so much shaking of greatrough hands, as I was presented--so many comments on my appearance, andcomparison of each separate feature with each of my parents--that I grewalmost afraid to look up under the many eyes that were bent upon me todetect resemblances to the Henshaws, Chesburys, or Farringtons--whichlast was my mother's maiden name. I became quite tired of telling peoplewhen I arrived, how long I intended to stay, and how many brothers andsisters I had. They were all very kind, though, and invited me sopolitely to come and see them that I quite wanted to go; and AuntHenshaw promised to return their visits very soon, and bring me withher. So one fine day we set forth on a visit to Cousin Ben's--a son of theidentical Uncle Ben to whose house Cousin Statia walked with her twolittle brothers, on that cold November night. She pointed out the roadas we passed, showed me the very place where she had wrapped her owncloak around her brother, the spot where they stopped to rub their handswarm, and a cross-road which they came very near taking. The house wasplain, but pleasantly situated; and as we drove up to the door, CousinBen, his wife, and two or three children about my own age, came out tomeet us. There was very little reserve among these country cousins; andbefore long, I was on as good terms with my play-mates as though I hadknown them all my life. We raced out into the fields, and feasted onsugar-pears, which were then just ripe; and I found, to my surprise, that my female cousins were quite as expert at climbing trees as theboys. I began to feel deficient in accomplishments; but I was notsufficiently a hoyden to follow their example, and could only performthe part of an admiring spectator. A very quiet-looking old horse was grazing near by, and my cousinsproposed that we should have a ride. I surveyed the great tall animalwith dismay, and was frightened at the idea of being perched on hisback; but the boys lifted me up, and five of us were soon mounted, readyfor a start. It was our intention to proceed in this triumphant mannerto the woods to gather berries; but our proposed conductor evidentlydisapproved the projected excursion, for, with a sudden kick-up behind, he sent us all five rolling on the grass. My white frock was thesufferer as usual; and scarcely any evil that has befallen me since, ever affected me more than would the dreaded spot that always appearedin the most conspicuous place whenever I was dressed up. It was alwaysthe herald of speedy disgrace, either in the shape of being sentsupperless to bed, or deprived of going out next day. Mammy wasparticularly severe on such occasions; it was provoking to be sure, after taking the pains to dress me nicely, to find all her work spoiledwithin the next fifteen minutes; but I did think it was not my fault, and wondered how it always happened. My new companions could notunderstand my distress in consequence of this accident; and withtrembling steps I went in to Aunt Henshaw, expecting to be kept by herside for the rest of the day, and never brought out again. What was my surprise when, after examining the spot, she said, in a tonewhich sounded like music in my ears: "Well child, you couldn't help it, and it is well you were not hurt. After all, white dresses are poorthings for children to play in, and this is only fit for the wash-tubnow. But this is not quite so bad as the pig-pen--eh, Amy?" The color mounted quickly into my face at these last words, and gladlyobeying her injunction to "go, play now, " I bounded from the room; whileAunt Henshaw, I suppose, enlightened the company as to the meaning ofher question, and my evident confusion. Oh, if people did but know theeffect of kind words, especially when harshness is expected! I neverenjoyed romping so much in all my life as on that afternoon; AuntHenshaw had pronounced my dress "fit only for the wash-tub, " and Ithought that before it proceeded thither, it might just as well be alittle more soiled as not. So we rolled about on the grass, climbed overfences, and rambled through the woods without fear or restraint. With alight and happy heart I set out on the journey home, congratulatingmyself that I was not then to encounter the eagle eyes of Mammy. Aunt Henshaw, though perfectly willing that I should enjoy myself atplay, did not approve of my spending my whole time in idleness; andunder her superintendence, I felt more disposed to work than I ever hadbefore. With her assistance I completed several articles of dress for asister of Sylvia's, who was very poor, and lived in a sort of hovel nearby; and the indefatigable Holly having again discovered the kittens insome equally out-of-the-way place, I at last, with a great deal ofdifficulty, succeeded in manufacturing a warm suit of clothes for thewinter wear of the prettiest one. Having equipped the kitten in its newhabiliments, I carried it to Aunt Henshaw, as quite a triumph of art;but when I made my appearance, with the two little ears poking out ofthe bonnet, and the tail quite visible through a hole in the skirt whichI had cut for it, Cousin Statia actually indulged in a hearty fit oflaughter, while Aunt Henshaw appeared even more amused. She told methat nature had furnished it with a covering quite sufficient to protectit from the cold; but I thought that it must then be a great deal toowarm in summer, and had just commenced fanning it, when she explained tome that the fur was a great deal thinner in summer than in winter. Thissatisfied me; and releasing the astonished kitten from its numerouswrappers, I presented them to Holly, and gave up all idea of furnishingit with a wardrobe. CHAPTER XIII. At Aunt Henshaw's, my passion for rummaging drawers and boxes ofknickknacks was abundantly gratified. The old lady fairly over-flowedwith the milk of human kindness, and allowed me to put her things indisorder as often as I chose. There was an album quilt, among herpossessions, which I never grew tired of admiring. The pieces were allof an octagon shape, arranged in little circles of different colors; andin the centre of each circle was a piece of white muslin, on which waswritten in tiny characters the name of the person who had made thecircle, and two lines of poetry. This album quilt was a good many yearsold; and had been made by the ladies of the neighborhood, as a tributeof respect to Aunt Henshaw, on account of her many acts of bravery andpresence of mind during the trying times of the Revolution. The old lady was never weary of describing the grand quilting, whichtook place in an old stone barn on the premises; when they all came atone o'clock, and sitting down to work, scarcely spoke a word until six, when the quilt was triumphantly pronounced to be completed; and takingit from the frame, they proceeded to arrange a large table, set out withstrawberries and cream, dough-nuts, chickens, cider, and almost everyincongruous eatable that could be mentioned. Washington was thenPresident, and after drinking his health in cider, coffee, and tea, which last was then a very precious commodity, being served in cupsexactly the size of a doll's set, they all in turn related stories orpersonal anecdotes of the great General, of whom Aunt Henshaw neverspoke without the greatest reverence and enthusiasm. He died when I wasvery young, so that I never saw him; but I have visited his tomb, andhis residence at Mount Vernon, and have also seen portraits of him thatwere pronounced to be life-like by those who were intimately acquaintedwith him. Aunt Henshaw had actually entertained La Fayette at her house for awhole night, and she showed me the very room he slept in; while CousinStatia produced an album in which he had written his name. I alwaysexperienced a burning desire to possess some memento of thedistinguished men whose names are woven in the annals of our country;and seating myself at the table with the album before me, I spentseveral hours in trying to copy the illustrious autograph. But all myefforts were vain; I could produce nothing like it, and was obliged toreturn the book to its favored owner. I delighted to spell out the album quilt until I knew almost every lineby heart; while the curious medley which these different scraps ofpoetry presented reminded me very much of a play, in which one personrepeats a line, to which another must find a rhyme. When Aunt Henshawdied, which was just about the time that I was grown up, she left thequilt to me in her will; because, as she said. I had always been sofond of it. I still have it carefully packed away, and regard it asquite a treasure. But very often, during a voyage of discoveries through rooms that wereseldom used, I passed various boxes, and awkward-looking little trunks, and curious baskets, that struck me as being particularly interesting inappearance. But Aunt Henshaw always said: "Those are Statia's--we mustnot touch them, " and passed quickly on, without in the least indulgingmy excited curiosity. Whether Cousin Statia kept wild animals, ormysterious treasures, or old clothes, in all these places, I was unableto conclude; but I determined to find out if possible. Having one dayaccompanied her upstairs, she proceeded to unlock a large trunk which Ihad always regarded with longing eyes; and opening them very wide, thatI might take in as much as possible in a hasty survey, what was mydisappointment to see her take out a couple of linen pillow-cases, nicely ruffled, while at least a dozen or two more remained, togetherwith a corresponding number of sheets, table-cloths, napkins, &c. ! Allof home-made manufacture, and seeming to my youthful ideas enough tolast a life-time. What could Cousin Statia possibly do with all thesethings? Or what had she put them there for? I knew that Aunt Henshawpossessed inexhaustible stores, and I could not imagine why CousinStatia found it necessary to have her's separate. I pondered the matterover for two or three days, and then concluded to apply to Holly forinformation on the desired point. "Why, lor bless you!" said the colored girl in a mysterious manner, "Didn't you know that Miss Statia has been crossed in love?" Holly announced this fact as a sufficiently explanatory one; but I couldnot comprehend what connection there was between being crossed in love, and a large trunk of bran new things. "Why, I quite pities your ignorance, Miss Amy! In old times, " continuedmy informant, as though dwelling on her own particular virtue in thisrespect, "in old times people didn't used to be half so lazy as they amnow-a-days, and thought nothing at all of sewing their fingers to thebone, or spinning their nails off, or knittin' forever; and when galsgrowed up, and had any thoughts of gittin' married, they set to work andmade hull trunks full of things, and people used to call them spinsters. Now Miss Statia has been fillin' trunks and baskets ever sense she coulddo anything, so that she's got a pretty likely stock--but no one evercame along this way but what was married already, and that's the meanin'of bein' crossed in love. But don't for your life go to tellin'nobody--they'd most chop my head off, if it should come out. " I asked Holly how she had ascertained the fact; "Oh, " she replied, knowingly, "there ain't much that escapes me. I know pretty much everyarticle in this house, and hear whatever's goin' on. Key-holes is agreat convenience; and though it ain't very pleasant to be squatin' incold entries, and fallin' in the room sometimes, when people open thedoor without no warnin', yet I'm often there when they think I'm safe inthe kitchin. Miss Statia once boxed my ears and sent me to bed, when shehappened to ketch me listinin'; but it didn't smart much, and peoplecan't 'spect to gather roses without thistles. " Holly often interspersed her conversation with various quotations andwise reflections; but the idea of listening at key-holes quite shockedmy sense of honor, and I endeavored to remonstrate with her upon thepractice. "It won't do for you to talk so, Miss Amy, " was her sagacious reply;"you mus'n't quarrel with the ship that carries you safe over. If I hadnot listened at key-holes, you'd never have known what was in themtrunks. " The truth of this remark was quite manifest; and concluding that I wasnot exactly suited to the character of admonisher, I never renewed theattempt. Aunt Henshaw had boxes of old letters which she estimated among hergreatest valuables; and sometimes, when the sun was shining brightlywithout, and the soft air of summer waving the trees gently to and fro, the old lady would invite me in a mysterious manner to her room, anddrawing forth an almost endless package, open letter after letter, andread to me the correspondence of people whom I cared nothing about. Itried very hard to suppress all signs of yawning, for I wanted to be outat play; but I must have been ungrateful not to exercise a littlepatience with one so kind and affectionate, and she, dear old soul!evidently considered it the greatest treat she could offer me. I becamein this manner acquainted with the whole history of her courtship; andcharmed with so quiet a listener, she would read to me till I fairlyfell asleep. But her thoughts being entirely occupied with the past, andher eyes in endeavoring to decipher the faded hand-writing, thisinattention passed unobserved; and she pursued her reading until calledoff by her daily duties. Dear old lady! how often have I watched her when she was asleep, as withthe neat white frill of her cap partially shading her face, she sat inthe large chair with her hands folded together, and her spectacles lyingon the book in her lap. She looked so pure and calm that I sometimesfelt afraid that she might be dead, like old people I had heard of whodied quietly in their sleep; but I could not bear the idea, and afeeling of inexpressible relief would come over me when I beheld thelids slowly rise again from the mild eyes that were ever bent lovinglyupon me. She bad a box piled with rolls of manuscript containing poetry, whichshe told me she had taken great pleasure in composing. "Saturdaynights, " said she, "when everything was in order, and, the next daybeing Sunday, I had no household cares to think of, I would amuse myselfin composing verses that were seldom shown to any one. Mr. Henshaw was amost excellent man and a kind husband, but he had no taste for poetry, and considered it a great waste of time. Another thing that helped toset him against it was an unfortunate poem that I composed on the eventof a marriage that took place in the neighborhood. The gentleman hadcourted the lady for a number of years without success; and afterpraising his constancy, I dwelt on the beauteous Eliza's charms, andsaid something about winning the goal at last. But they were very muchoffended; they supposed that I was ridiculing them, and said that I hadrepresented them as doing a great many foolish things which they hadnever thought of. There was no use in attempting to pacify them--I hadthrown away my poetry where it was not appreciated; and Mr. Henshawexclaimed in a tone of annoyance: 'Now do, I beg of you, never let mesee you again at the writing-desk! You have done as much mischief withyour pen as other women accomplish with their tongues. ' So I never sentpoetry again to other people; but whenever I felt lonely, I sat down andwrote, and it has really been a great comfort to me. One of these days, Amy, I shall give this all to you. " When I returned home, the poetry was carefully laid in the bottom of mytrunk; but I have my suspicions that for sometime after Jane kindled thenursery fire with it. While looking over her things one day. AuntHenshaw showed me an old-fashioned pair of ear-rings, which I admiredvery much. "I intended to give these to you, Amy, " said she, "but I see that yourears have not been pierced. " "Why, I thought those holes always grew in people's ears!" said I, insurprise. "Have I none in mine?" "No, " she replied, "they are always made with a needle, or some sharpinstrument. " "Does it hurt?" I inquired. "Not much, " was her reply, and so the subject dropped, but I stillpursued it in thought. I fancied myself decked with the ear-rings, and the pleasure I shouldexperience in showing them to Mammy and Jane; but then on the otherhand, the idea of the needle was anything but agreeable, for I could notbear the least pain. I wavered for sometime between the advantages anddisadvantages of the operation. This state of mind led me to noticepeople's ears much more than I had formerly done; and perceiving thatSylvia's were adorned with a pair of large gold hoops, I applied to herfor advice. "Why, Miss Amy!" she exclaimed, in surprise, "you are real shaller, ifyou don't have your ears bored after that! Why, I'd made a hole in mynose in half a minit, if somebody'd only give me a gold ring to putthrough it!" "Who bored _your_ ears, Sylvia?" said I at length. "Why, I did it myself, to be sure. Any body can do that--jest take aneedle and thread and draw it right through. " I shuddered involuntarily; but just then Sylvia moved her head a little, and the rings shook and glittered so fascinatingly that I resolved tobecome a martyr to the cause of vanity. The colored woman having agreedto perform the office, and Aunt Henshaw and Statia being out for theafternoon, I seated myself on a chair with my back against the dresser;while Sylvia mounted the few steps that led to her sleeping-room inorder to search for a needle, and Holly endeavored to keep up my courageby representing the fascinating appearance I should present whendecorated with ear-rings. Sylvia soon came down, with needle, and thread, and cork; while I beganto tremble and turn pale on perceiving the instruments of torture. I hadquite forgotten how disagreeable needles felt in the flesh; and Sylvia'sfirst attempt was brought to a sudden end by a loud scream, which wouldcertainly have roused the neighbors had there been any near. "Now, Miss Amy!" she exclaimed, "I had your ear almost bored then. Butif you're going to cut up such didos I shall leave off directly--itain't no such great fun for me. " She was going up stairs with a very resolute air, and again theear-rings flashed and glittered; and having by this time lost the acutesense of pain, I called her back and begged her to proceed. "Now mind, " said she, "if you holler again, I'll jest stop at once. " I glued my lips firmly together, while she again adjusted the cork andneedle; but I could hardly bear it, and trembled like an aspen leaf. Oneear was soon pierced, while I felt the needle in every part of my frame;and Sylvia was proceeding to do the other, but I jumped up suddenly, exclaiming: "Oh Sylvia! I cannot have the other one bored! It will killme!" "Well, I wouldn't if I was you, Miss Amy, " said she, "cos you can hangboth rings in one ear, you know--and that'll look real beautiful, won'tit, Holly?" Holly burst into a loud fit of laughter, and through the effects ofridicule, I submitted a second time to the infliction. But it wasimpossible to endure the suffering any longer; the color graduallyfaded from my face, and just as Sylvia concluded, she found that I hadfainted. The two were very much frightened, and after almost drowning mewith water, they lifted me up and carried me to my own bed. Aunt Henshawsoon came home, and her horror at my situation was only equalled by herastonishment. Sylvia did not tell her the cause of my sudden illness;but she soon discovered it by a glance at my ears which were muchinflamed and swollen, having been pierced in a very bungling manner. Sylvia received such a severe reprimand that she was almost angry enoughto leave on the spot; but she had only erred through ignorance, and Isucceeded at length in reconciling her mistress. "But, my dear Amy, " said the kind old lady, as she sat down beside me, "Why is it that you are always getting into some trouble if left toyourself for ever so short a time? You cannot tell the pain it gives me. Why, an account of your various scrapes since you have been here wouldalmost fill a book. " What could I reply? It was a natural and most unfortunate propensitywhich displayed itself everywhere; as well with Mammy in the precinctsof the nursery, as when roaming about at Aunt Henshaw's. "But the ear-rings?" said I. "You will give them to me now, will younot? I should _so_ much like to have them!" "And so you shall have them, dear, " replied Aunt Henshaw. "It would hecruel to refuse them after your suffering so much for them. But I neverwould have mentioned them had I had any idea of such an unfortunateresult. " Supposing that it would please me, she got them out of the case and laidthem beside me. They were very pretty, to be sure, but oh! how muchsuffering those ear-rings caused me! My poor ears were very sore for along time, and I would sit for hours leaning my head on a pillow, inhopes of easing the pain. And yet, when they were at last well, and theear-rings really in, I almost forgot what I had suffered in the delightI experienced at my supposed transformation. They were the admiration ofthe kitchen; and even Aunt Henshaw and Cousin Statia allowed thatear-rings were a great improvement; and I began to think that on myreturn home they would even throw Ellen Tracy's curls into the shade. The summer was passing away--harvest had come and gone; and while theothers were engaged during this busy season, I was to be seen perched onevery load of hay, from which I had of course two or three tumbles, butalways on some pile beneath. The kittens had grown large and awkward, and consequently lost my favor; while the cat no longer put herself tothe trouble of hiding them, so that I could now have them whenever Ichose--coming like most other privileges when no longer desired. Theevenings were getting chilly, so that a fire was very acceptable; and Iloved to sit by the bright flame before the candles were brought in, andlisten to Aunt Henshaw's stories. "Now, " said I one evening when we had all comfortably arranged ourselvesto spend the twilight in doing nothing, "do tell me a very interestingstory, Aunt Henshaw--for you know that I am going home soon, and perhapsit is the last that I shall hear. " "Well, " said she with a smile, "if it is to be so very interesting, Imust think very hard first. " Cousin Statia had been looking towards the door, when she suddenlyinquired: "Did you ever tell her about the bullet hole?" "Why, no, " replied the old lady, "I do not believe I ever did. Have younoticed the round hole in the front door, Amy?" I replied in the negative; and taking me into the hall, she led the wayto the front door which opened in two parts, and in the upper half Idistinctly perceived a bullet hole which had been made by the British;and it was the story attached to this very hole which she was about totell me. "Well, one night, " said she, "a long while ago, I sat by the fire withthe baby in my arms, while the other children were playing around. Thetwo women servants were in the kitchen, and Mr. Henshaw had taken themen several miles off, on some business relating to the farm. It wasjust about this time, before the candles were lit; and one of the womencame in to tell me that five British soldiers were approaching thehouse. "Fasten all the doors then, " said I, "and let no one enter unless Igive you permission. " The doors were well fastened up, and before long I heard them knockingwith the ends of their muskets. I let them knock for some time; but atlength I raised an upper window, and asked them what they wanted. "We want some supper, " they replied, "and will probably stay all night. " "It is not in my power to accommodate you. " I replied, as coolly aspossible, "nor do I feel willing to admit any visitors in the absence ofmy husband. " "If you do not admit us soon we will break the door down!" theyexclaimed. "Of that I am not much afraid, " said I; "it is too well secured. " I withdrew from the window, and for half an hour they tried variousmeans of effecting an entrance, but it was impossible. I approached thewindow again, and they called out: "If you do not have the door opened, we shall certainly fire!" "Do so, " I replied; "there is no one to injure by it except helplesswomen and children. " I did not suppose they would do it--I thought it was intended only fora threat; and was therefore as much surprised as any of the others, whena bullet came whizzing through the front door, and passing through apane of glass in an opposite window, fell into the yard. A dreadfulscream arose from the servants, and perhaps frightened for the effects, or perceiving my husband and the men, they made a hasty retreat; and Iwas just ready to sink from fright when Mr. Henshaw came in. He told menever to stop up the bullet-hole, but to leave it to show what womenwere made of in the Revolution. CHAPTER XIV. Cousin Statia had completed her winter's knitting, Aunt Henshaw began tomake pumpkin pies, and the period of my visit was rapidly drawing to aclose. The letters from home grew more and more solicitous for myreturn, and at last the day was fixed. I felt anxious to see them allagain, and yet rather sorry to lay aside my present state of freedom. Ihad quite escaped from leading-strings, and found it very pleasant tofollow the bent of my inclination as I had done at Aunt Henshaw's; butabsence had banished all memory of the thorns I had sometimesencountered in my career at home, and I thought only of the roses--theidea of change being also a great inducement. Holly and I had passed whole afternoons in gathering hazel-nuts whichgrew near a fence not far from the house; and having filled a veryrespectable-sized bag with them, I felt quite impatient at the idea ofreturning home well-laden with supplies, like any prudent housekeeper. Aunt Henshaw was to accompany me, and selecting some of her choicestproduce, and an immense bunch of herbs, as antidotes for all the achesand ills which human flesh is heir to, on a bright, glowing Septembermorning, we set forward on my homeward journey. "Blessings brighten asthey leave us;" and although I had been considered the torment of thewhole household, all regretted my departure, and begged me to come soonagain. "Now, Miss Amy, " said Sylvia, as I was taking a long private farewell inthe kitchen, "jest take a piece of advice from an old colored woman whathas lived longer in the world than you have, and roasted chickens andfried sassages ever sense she can remember. Buckwheat cakes is verygood, but to keep your own counsel is a heap better--so when you go homedon't you go to telling about that ere pig-pen business, or the timewhen the old hen flewed at you, or tumbling off the old horse. Peoplethat don't say nothin' often gits credit for bein' quite sensible, andp'raps you can deceive 'em too; for you'll be kind o' made a fuss withwhen you fust get home, and if you don't let on about all these herescrapes they'll think more of you. " Sylvia's advice struck me as being very sensible, and I thereforeresolved to act upon it, and endeavor to make them consider me quite adifferent character from the hoyden Amy. I kissed Cousin Statia, whotook up her sewing as calmly as though nothing of any importance wasabout to occur; and having delighted Holly's eyes with a bright ribbonin which all the colors of the rainbow seemed combined, I presentedSylvia with a collar worked by myself, and passed out to the stage, which was waiting for us. Our journey home was quite an uneventful one;and the wind being more favorable, we were not so long on the passage. My parents were watching for us with anxious solicitude; but when thedoor opened in bounded a wild, blooming hoyden, in whose sparkling eyesand glowing cheeks they could detect no trace of the delicate invalid. Henry and Fred, with a troop of younger brothers, stood ready to devourme with kisses; but Mammy, rushing impulsively forward, pushed them allaside, and cried and laughed over me alternately, while she almostcrushed me with the violence of her affection. Before I was well seated, Fred spied out the bag of hazel-nuts; and a vigorous sound of crackinginformed me that the work of devastation had already commenced. How they all stared at my ear-rings! But mamma turned pale and burstinto tears; while I stood still, feeling very uncomfortable, and yet notbeing exactly aware of the manner in which I had displeased her. AuntHenshaw, however, with a minute accuracy that struck me as beingpainfully correct, related every circumstance connected with thatunfortunate business, from her finding me extended on the bed to thetime when the rings were placed in my ears. "Oh Amy! how could you!" exclaimed my mother; "I have always despisedthe barbarous practice of making holes in the flesh for the sake ofornament, " she continued, "but to have them pierced by an ignorantcolored woman! Come here, child, and let me look at your ears. They arecompletely spoiled!" she exclaimed, "the holes are one-sided, and closeto the very bone! What is to be done?" Aunt Henshaw suggested that it would be better to let those grow up, andhave others made in the right place; but I still retained a vividrecollection of that scene of torture, and did not therefore feelwilling to have it repeated. But the ear-rings must come out--they wereno ornament all one-sided; so they were laid away in cotton, while I hadthe pleasure of reflecting on the suffering I had endured for nothing. Being thus brought down at the very commencement of my attempt to besensible, and finding it less trouble to resume my natural character, Iconcluded to disregard Sylvia's well-meant advice. I was very poor atkeeping a secret; so one by one all the scrapes in which I had figuredcame to light, to the great horror of the others, and the delight ofFred, who was quite pleased to discover a congenial soul. Mammy at length seized upon me again, and carrying me almost by forceto the nursery, she locked the door and sat down beside me; determined, as she said, to have me to herself for a while. Having requested anaccount of all the adventures I had met with, she listened with the mostabsorbed attention while I unfolded the various circumstances of myvisit. Mammy was sometimes amused, sometimes frightened, and oftenshocked, but generally for the dignity of the family; for as I had beenits representative, she feared that it would suffer in the eyes of thecountry people. Time passed on; Aunt Henshaw returned home, and things proceeded intheir usual way. My vanity was flattered by the increased attentionwhich I met with on all sides; my parents appeared to consider me muchless of a child since my return, and I was in consequence almostemancipated from the nursery; while Mammy and Jane no longer chided mefor my misdemeanors--which, to say the truth, were much less frequentthan formerly. But I soon after experienced a great source of regret in the departureof Ellen Tracy for boarding-school. Not being an only daughter likemyself, her parents could better spare her; but we were almostinconsolable at parting, and having shed abundance of tears, presentedeach other with keepsakes as mementos of our unchanging friendship. Herswas a little china cup, which I have kept to this day, while I gave hera ring made of my own hair; so that, for want of Ellen's company, I wasobliged to take up with her brother's; and the boys complained that Ikept Charles so much to myself it was impossible to make him join any oftheir excursions. It was my twelfth birthday; and on the evening of that day I feared thatMammy's oft-repeated threat of leaving us, at which we had so oftentrembled in our younger days, was about to be verified. A married sisterwas taken very ill, and Mammy was immediately sent for to take care ofher; and indeed we were afraid that she would be obliged to stay therealtogether, on account of her nephews and nieces. How dreary the nurseryseemed after her departure! In vain did the good-natured Jane exertherself to tell her most amusing stories; they had lost their interest;and yielding to her feelings, she became at length as dull as any of us. In about a week Mammy returned; but we could see that she was changed;her sister had died and left five children but illy provided for. Through the influence of my father, different situations were obtainedfor the three eldest; while the old nurse, with the assistance ofoccasional charity, supported the two younger ones. But Mammy hadsuffered from sleepless nights, and rooms but illy warmed; and her ownhealth failed during her ceaseless watch by the bedside of her sister. We did not know exactly what it was, but felt very sure that Mammyseemed no longer like the same person. Children who are kept at a distance by their parents and elders, oftenhave very queer thoughts, whose existence no one imagines. I do notthink I was an ordinary child; and notwithstanding my hoyden nature hada very thoughtful turn of mind. I well recollect, on being once sentearly to bed for some misdemeanor I bribed my brother Fred to accompanyme; and waking up during the night, the saying that "he who goes to bedin anger has the devil for his bed-fellow" came across my mind, andimpressed me so strongly that I caught hold of Fred's foot to ascertainwhether it was so disagreeable a guest, or my own madcap brother who waslying beside me. Even the kick I received in return was rather welcomethan otherwise, as it proved beyond a doubt that it was really theveritable Fred. But what has this to do with Mammy? you ask. A great deal, I can assureyou; for I began to fear that it was not the old nurse who had returnedto us, but some strange being, who, having assumed her appearance, hadnot been able altogether to imitate her manner. So I kept myself aloof, and felt afraid to venture too close; but she grew thinner and paler, and my mother relieved her from all care of the children. I slept in a small closet that opened into the nursery; and calling mevery softly one night, she said, "Miss Amy, will you bring me a pitcherof water? I know they would not let me have it, " she continued as Iattempted to remonstrate with her, "but I am determined not to diechoking. " I was very much frightened, but I could not see her suffer with thirst;and bringing her a large pitcher of water, she drank almost half of itat once. "Now place it on a chair where I can reach it, " said she, "andgo back to bed--I shall be better soon. " I did as she requested, and, childlike, soon fell asleep again. The oldnurse too slept--but hers was the sleep that knows no waking. They camein the next morning and found her dead. Her features were peaceful asthough she had died calmly, and beside her stood the pitcher empty. Shealways said that if she should ever be ill, she _would_ have water--shewould drink till she died, and she had literally done so. We all feltvery sad, and Fred broke forth into loud screams, on being told of herdeath. It was my first realization of death--the first corpse I had ever seen;and as I knelt beside the coffin, where the pale hands that laycross-folded on the breast, the motionless features, and the dreadfulstillness of the whole figure, spoke eloquently of the change that hadtaken place, I thought of my many acts of wilfulness, ingratitude, andunkindness, which had often pained the loving heart that had now foreverceased to beat. Could I but see those still features again animated withlife, I felt that never again would my tongue utter aught but words ofkindness; but it was now too late for amendment--there was nothing leftme but repentance. My parents too grieved at her death; she had been in the family so longthat they were loathe to miss the old familiar face from its post in thenursery. She was buried from our own house; and there were more truemourners at her funeral than often fall to the lot of the great andgifted. CHAPTER XV. "Papa, have you any relations?" I asked one evening rather suddenly, after pondering over the subject and wondering why it was that ourfamily consisted of no one but papa, and mamma, and us children; whileother people always had aunts, or uncles, or cousins living with them. We had plenty, to be sure, who came and made visits at different times;but I meant some one to live with us altogether. "What a curious question!" said my father, smiling, "And how suddenlyyou bolted out with it, Amy, after at least half an hour's silence. Youmust have thought deeply on the subject, but what put it into your headjust now?" Not knowing exactly what to say, I wisely remained silent; and turningto my mother, he continued in a low tone: "Do you know that this randomquestion of Amy's has awakened some not very welcome reminiscences, andpointed out a line of duty which does not promise much pleasure beyondthe consciousness of doing right? I ought to invite an addition to thefamily without delay. " "Are you joking, or in earnest?" inquired my mother, "And if in earnest, pray whom do you refer to?" "You will soon find it to be most solid, substantial earnest, " rejoinedmy father, "for I must this very evening write a letter to Mrs. Chesbury, senior, the step-mother of whom you have heard me speak, inviting her to spend the summer with us. She has, you know, resided atthe South since my father's death, occasionally visiting her relativesat the North; and as we have never yet been honored with her company, that pleasure is still in store for us. My recollections of her, to besure, are not so very delightful. She was very severe in her discipline, and continually checked my pleasures and enjoyments, which she usuallyexchanged for some long, heavy, incomprehensible task; and at the firstblunder in recitation, off came her shoe, which she immediately laidacross my shoulders with the most unremitting zeal. I recollect herwhipping me one day when it really appeared to me that I had not been inthe least to blame. I was quite a little fellow then, and drawing myhand across my eyes, I sobbed forth: 'I wish one of us in this room wasdead, I do--I don't wish it was me--and I don't wish it was thecat--' Whatever I had intended to add was suddenly cut short; and I beganto think that it was rather foolish of me to subject myself to twowhippings instead of one. I have quite escaped from leading-stringsnow, " added my father with an expressive look; but the old lady may beof considerable assistance in keeping you young ones in order. The children looked frightened; and Fred, being now too old to dread anywhippings on his own account, kindly undertook the instruction of hisyounger brothers in the art of being saucy and playing practical jokes. We were told to call her "grandmother, " and treat her with the greatestrespect; but as I dwelt upon my father's account of her, like themagician in olden story, I almost trembled at the visitor I had invoked. The letter was written and despatched; and after a while, an answeringone received, in which the step-mother accepted her son-in-law'sinvitation, "for the sake, " as she said, "of the many happy hours theyhad formerly enjoyed together. " I sat reading in a distant corner of theroom when this letter was received, almost concealed by the folds of thecurtains; and the other children being out of the room, I overheard myfather say: "I do not remember much else but being whipped, and sent supperless tobed; if they _were_ happy hours, it must have been on the principle ofthe frogs--'What is play to you is death to us. '" My mother smiled; but she replied softly: "Perhaps she is changed now, Arthur; do not say anything against her before the children, for she isa stranger, entitled to our hospitality--and I would not have herwelcome a chilling one. " In process of time the old lady arrived, accompanied by a coloredservant who answered to the name of Venus. Fred christened her "theblack divinity, " at which she became highly offended; and ever after, there was a perpetual war of words waging between the two. Mygrandmother was a small, dark-complexioned woman, with an exceedinglyhaughty, and very repulsive expression. She received all herdaughter-in-law's endeavors to make her feel at home as a natural right;and appeared to consider other people intended only for her sole use andbenefit. As I glanced from her to my mother's fair, soft beauty, andstrikingly sweet expression, I formed a comparison between the two notmuch to my grandmother's advantage. We soon found that the old lady had a great idea of taking the reinsinto her own hands; the children were scolded, and threatened, andlocked up in dark closets, until, to use their own expression, theybecame, most "dreadfully good, " and never dared to show off under theespionage of those eagle eyes. During the summer, our parents wereabsent for some weeks on a pleasure jaunt; and Grandmother Chesburyhaving the entire control of us, we were obliged to behave verydifferently from usual. She kept us all in awe except Fred; but on himit was impossible to make the least impression. If she tyrannized overthe rest us, it was abundantly repaid by the teazings of my mischievousbrother. The old lady was extremely violent in temper, and after irritating it tothe highest pitch, or, as he termed it, "putting on the steam, " heprovoked her still more by his polite sarcasms and tantalizing replies. The object of contest between them was generally the last word in theargument; and when victory appeared to incline neither to one side northe other, my grandmother would exclaim angrily: "Hold your tongue thismoment, you impertinent boy! Not another word. " "Yes'm, " Fred would reply, with every appearance of submission. Having triumphed up stairs, he generally went in search of Venus, whoseanger was almost as vehement as that of her mistress. Her time, when notattending to Mrs. Chesbury, was chiefly occupied by the duties of thetoilet; and Jane asserted that she had anxiously inquired if there wereno respectable colored gentlemen about the place? Venus always bestoweda great deal of pains on the arrangement of her head covering, which wasprofusely decorated with combs of various shapes and sizes; but "therebyhangs a tale" which must be told. Good beef is very scarce at the South, and Southerners thereforeconsider it a great treat when they come North. My grandmother was veryfond of it frizzled; and Venus being quite _au fait_ in the manufactureof this dish, the old lady never allowed any one else to make it forher. One afternoon, during my parents' absence, the children beingdisposed of in various ways--some had gone out for a walk, two wereplaying together in a closet where they had been locked up, and otherswere rambling about the grounds--the house was pretty clear; so mygrandmother resolved to enjoy a treat in her own apartment. A smalltable was nicely laid out with all the requisites for a comfortable tea, and Venus then departed to the kitchen to dish up some frizzled beef. But it so happened that the odor of the savory dish, in its passage upstairs, found its way to the nostrils of Master Fred, who had beenquietly engaged in some wonderfully wise researches in the library; andas even philosophers are not exempt from the earth-born love of goodthings, out rushed our student with a polite request that Venus would"allow him to taste the trash, and see if it was fit to be sent to Mrs. Chesbury. " A scuffle ensued, in which Fred succeeded in satisfying hiscuriosity; and with considerably ruffled plumage, and not in thesweetest state of mind, Venus proceeded up stairs. Fred slyly followed;and peeping through the key-hole of a door that opened into mygrandmother's room, he determined to watch the progress of the feast. Things looked very tempting, and he had half a mind to petition for aseat at the table; but he began to think that, even should he succeed inhis request, a _seat_ would be all he could gain; for the old ladyattacked the eatables very much in the style of a school-boy just comehome for the holidays. The frizzled beef rapidly disappeared, till thebottom of the dish was scarcely covered; but suddenly ceasing herattacks upon it, my grandmother took the dish in her hand, and pointingto some black substance, interrogated the colored girl in accents ofmingled doubt and horror. "Why Venus, come here! What--what--what _is_ this?" "Why, la, Missus!" exclaimed Venus, while every feature brightened withjoyful surprise, "If there ain't my little comb, what I lost in thescuffle with Master Fred! Who would have thought to find it here!" "Who, indeed!" ejaculated the old lady, in a voice scarcely audible. My grandmother did not leave her room that evening, and we were toldthat she was ill; while it is scarcely necessary to add that Fred neveragain interfered with any of Venus' cookeries. When repeating the story, he always dwelt upon the ridiculous tableau presented by the horrifiedlooks of the old lady, as she pointed to the suspicious-lookingarticle--and the delight and surprise of Venus at recovering her lostproperty in such an unexpected manner. He possessed a great talent fordrawing; and before long, a caricature appeared, which was a mostlife-like representation of the whole scene. My mother shook her head, and my father delivered a short, but expressive lecture upon theimproper nature of mimicry; but in the midst of an edifying discourseFred suddenly displayed the drawing in full view--at which all thechildren burst into peals of laughter, and my father abruptly closed hissermon, and frowning sternly, walked into the library; but we couldperceive a nervous twitching about the corners of his mouth, whichlooked very much at variance with the frown upon his brow. My mother too, fixed her eyes steadfastly upon her sewing, and refusedto look up; which Fred saucily told her was only because she knew shewould laugh if she did. We were then told that we had been naughtychildren, and sent out of the room; but somehow, we did not feel asthough we had been _very_ bad, or that our parents were very angry withus, and skipping along through the garden-walks, we next sent Janealmost into convulsions of laughter by a display of the picture. Mamma, however, burned it before long; she said that it was highly improper toridicule our grandmother, even if she _had_ faults, and that we mustbear with her kindly, and not forget how few pleasures she enjoyed. Dearmamma! she was too kind--too good; and often met with the fate ofsuch--imposition. I once heard of a lady who went to a house to make a call, and stayedeleven years; this was somewhat similar to my grandmother's case--shecame to pass the summer with us, and spent her life-time. Whenever shespoke of going back to the South, my father urged her to stay, and gaveconvincing reasons why she should prolong her visit; and my mother, too, kindly reflecting that the old lady had no near relatives and seemed toenjoy herself with us, added her entreaties. At last they told her thatthere was no reason why she should not stay altogether; and she appearedto think so too, for she stayed. As we grew more accustomed to her weliked her better than at first; she told us long stories about theSouth, and related anecdotes of the greatness, and wealth, anddistinguished position of her own family, which she considered superiorto any in the United States. Venus too came into more favor; and after awhile we almost forgot the beef story. CHAPTER XVI. Time passed on; I had almost reached my fifteenth birthday, and beganto consider myself no longer a child. I was very tall for my age, andquite showy-looking; and gentlemen who visited at the house now treatedme with all the attention due a young lady; which flattered my vanityvery much, and made me think them very agreeable. I remember my father'sonce sending me from the room, on account of some gentleman's nonsensewhich he considered me too young to listen to; but I felt very much hurtat such treatment, and almost regarded myself as some heroine of romanceimprisoned by cruel parents. Novels were a great injury to me, as indeedthey are to every one. Their style was much more extravagant andunnatural than at the present day; and even at this early age, I hadread the "Children of the Abbey, " the "Mysteries of Udolpho, " the"Scottish Chiefs, " "Thaddeus of Warsaw, " and many others of the samestamp. But how did I obtain these, you ask? My mother, with her sense anddiscernment, would not have placed such books in my hands; and you areright. My grandmother was an inveterate novel-reader, but very carefulthat her books fell into no other hands; so that the only means ofsatisfying my taste for romantic reading was by stealth. Although novelswere proscribed, no other books were placed in my hands; there were thenscarcely any children's books published, and consumed as I was by aninordinate passion for reading, was determined to indulge it withoutbeing very particular about the means. How often have I watched myopportunity when my grandmother had left her apartment for an afternoonvisit or drive, and then drawn forth the cherished volume from beneaththe pillow and even from between the bed and sacking bottom! socarefully were they concealed from view. Sometimes, indeed, she lockedthe door of her room, and took the key with her; and then all ingresswas impossible. What wild, foolish dreams I indulged in!--What romantic-visions of thefuture that were never realized! How well I remember my sensations onreading the "Scottish Chiefs. " Wallace appeared to me almost in thelight of a god--so noble, so touching were all his acts and words, thatI even envied Helen Mar the privilege of calling herself his wife, andthen dying to lay her head in the same grave with him. I resolved togive up all the common-place of life, and cling unto the spiritual--topurify myself from every earth-born wish and habit, and live but in thehope of meeting with a second Wallace. I persevered in this resolutionfor a whole week; and then meeting with some equally delightful hero ofan opposite nature, I changed from grave to gay. My mood during theseperiods of fascination was as variable as the different heroines Iadmired. Now I would imitate the pensiveness of Amanda, and go aboutwith streaming tresses, and a softly modulated tone of voice--then Iwould read of some sprightly heroine who changed all by her vivacityand piquant sayings, and immediately commence springing down threestairs at a time, teazing all the children, and making some reply toeverything that was said, which sometimes passed for wit but oftener forimpudence--and then again some noble, self-sacrificing character wouldexcite my admiration, and oh! how I longed for some opportunity tosignalize myself! A bullet aimed at some loved one, whom I could protectby rushing forward and receiving it myself; but I was not to be killed, only sufficiently wounded to make me appear interesting--disabled in thearm, perhaps, without much suffering, for bodily pain never formed aprominent feature in my ideas of the romantic and striking--I was toogreat a coward; or else a plunge into the waves to rescue some drowningperson from perishing, when I wished just to come near enough to deathto elevate me into a heroine for after life. I looked in the glass, and seeing large, dark eyes, a healthful bloom, and rather pretty features, I concluded that I need not belong to theplain and amiable order, and began to wish most enthusiastically forsome romantic admirer; some one who would expose himself to the dangerof a sore throat and influenza for the sake of serenading me--who wouldbe rather glad than otherwise to risk his life by jumping down aprecipice to bring me some descried wild flower, and who, when away fromme, would pass his time in writing extravagant poetry, of which I was tobe the bright divinity. Old as I am, I feel almost ashamed to repeatthis nonsense now; and had I then possessed more sense myself, or madeby mother the confidant of these flights of fancy, I need not now relatemy own silly experience to warn you from the effects of novel-reading. Charles Tracy did not at all realize my romantic ideas of a hero; andone bright day the dissatisfaction which had been gradually gathering inmy mind expressed itself in words. I had gone down to a lake at thebottom of the garden to indulge in high-flown meditations; and CharlesTracy stood beside one of the boats which were always kept there. "Come, Amy, " said he, as I drew near, "it is a beautiful day--let ushave a row across the lake. " "No, " said I, twining my arm around one of the young trees near, "Iprefer remaining here. " "You had better come with me, " rejoined Charles, "instead of keepingcompany there with the snapping-turtles. Well, " he added after a shortpause, "if you will not come with me, why I must go alone. " "Go, then!" said I, bitterly, "you love your own pleasure a great dealbetter than you do me!" "Why Amy!" he exclaimed, coming close to me as though doubtful of mysanity, "how very strangely you talk! You know that I love you verymuch, " he continued, "for haven't we been together and quarrelled witheach other ever since I can remember? And do I not now bear the marks ofthe time when you threw the cat in my face to end our childish dispute?And the scar where you stuck the pen-knife in my arm? And don't youremember how you used to pull my hair out by handfuls? How can I helploving you when I call to mind all these tender recollections?" This reply provoked me very much; and I answered energetically: "You do_not_ love me!--you do not know how to love I When did you ever make anysacrifices for me?" I continued in an excited manner, "When did I everhear you singing beneath my window in a tone meant for no ear but mine?When did you ever rush with me out of a burning house, or encounter anydanger for my sake? When did you ever watch for a glimpse of my taper atmidnight when all others were asleep?" During the progress of this singular speech, Charles Tracy's countenancehad gradually changed from the surprised to the amused; and when I hadconcluded he laughed--yes, he actually laughed! What a damper ofsentiment! "Laugh on, " said I, in a dignified manner, as I turned my stepshomeward, "that has now put an end to all. " He was but a boy--I, a _woman_, for should I not be fifteen to-morrow?and I walked away from him in contempt; while he quietly jumped into theboat and rowed across the lake, whistling a tune. But I had notproceeded far before a loud "ha! ha!" from my brother Fred sounded closeat my side; he had been an unobserved listener to the wholeconversation, now enjoyed the pleasure of teasing me all the way home. "That's right, Amy!" said he, "Keep up your dignity, child. What a richscene! _'When did you ever watch for a glimpse of my taper at midnightwhen all others were asleep?'_ Rather a hopeless watch, I'm thinking, asyou sleep in the middle room between mother's and the nursery; andbetween you and I, Amy, you know that you don't burn a taper, but abrass lamp; but that, of course, isn't quite so poetical to tell of. Such an air, too!--what a rare tragic actress you'd make! Do say itover, won't you? I have almost forgotten the beginning. " I gave Fred a boxed ear, which must have stung for sometime afterwards;and running hastily into the house, locked myself up in my own room tilltea-time. The next day was my birthday; and while my table was strewnwith acceptable gifts from all the others, I perceived among them avery antiquated-looking cap and pair of spectacles, to the latter ofwhich was attached a slip of paper, on which was written: "To improvethe impaired sight of my dear sister Amy, produced by her decliningyears; also a cap to conceal the gray hairs of age, and 'Young's NightThoughts' for the edification of her mind. " I was almost ready to cry from mortification; but I remembered that Iwas now fifteen, and took the articles down stairs for the purpose ofexposing Master Fred, but what did I get for my pains? In justificationhe told the story of yesterday, in his own peculiarly humorous way; andwhen I saw myself thus reflected, the ridiculous tendency of my wordsand manner struck me forcibly, and I was almost ready to laugh. But theothers did that abundantly for me, while wondering where I had picked upsuch notions; and Grandmother Chesbury, I verily believe, suspected thatI had been at her novels, for after that I never could find one. But although I was thus debarred from receiving any new impressions, theold ones still continued in full force; and at last came the longdesired opportunity to signalize myself. I was then almost sixteen, andthe treaty of peace with England had just been celebrated. I rememberwell the illuminations and festivities on the first night of theproclamation, which we spent in the city at a friend's house; thebalconies were wreathed with flowers, lights blazed from every window, crowds of beautifully-dressed women filled the rooms, and the sounds ofmusic and dancing were heard in every street. It was my first evening incompany--my first experience of admiration; and completely carried awayby the music, the lights, and the occasion, the old desire for somesignalizing deed came thronging back in full force, till I grew almostbewildered. No opportunity offered that night; I could only join in thefestivities, and listen to the feats and praises of others; but towardsthe latter part of the evening my eye was attracted by the brilliantuniform and handsome appearance of a young officer who passed throughthe rooms, and lingered a moment in a distant corner among a knot offriends who crowded eagerly about him. His commanding figure, beautifulfeatures, and intellectual, yet sweet, expression, completely realizedall my ideas of a novel-hero; I saw my father speaking to him, andimmediately made signs to introduce him, but before I could catch hiseye, the officer had disappeared. Papa told me that Major Arlington'sfather had been an old friend of his, and he would have introduced himto me, but business called him in another direction, and he could notstay a moment longer, but promised us a visit at an early day. You need not smile, Miss Ella, and look so knowing at the mention of thename; how do you know that there were not two Arlingtons in the world?How do you know but that it was his brother I married? How do youknow--but never mind, I will go on with my story. It was several daysafter that eventful evening, which still left a vivid impression upon mymind; the desire to perform some wonderful deed remained in full force, mingled with visions of the young officer, and I wandered about, withoutpaying much attention to my ordinary duties. Papa and mamma were bothfrom home, and Grandmother Chesbury had locked herself up with a newnovel; while I was roaming about the grounds not far from the frontentrance. A sound of wheels suddenly struck upon my ear; I supposed it was somevisitor and paid not much attention to it; but before long there was aconfused noise of voices--a sound of plunging and rearing--and adistinct crashing of some heavy vehicle. My evil genius led me to thespot; I beheld a handsome carriage, which the horses seemed striving todash in pieces--caught a glimpse of a glittering uniform inside--andfollowing a wild impulse, sprang forward and endeavored to seize thebridle. I heard some one say, "Take care of the young lady!" and thenthe officer jumped from the carriage, while I was thrown down close tothe horses' feet. A confused hum sounded in my ears--and then followed along blank. * * * * * When I awoke to consciousness I found myself lying on a sofa in a smallsitting-room; but no one was bending tenderly over me--not even amother's face met my eyes--but the gossip of two women servants gratedpainfully on my ear. "What under the sun possessed Miss Amy to go and cut up such a caper asthat!" said one of them, "All the mischief she's done this day won't bedone away with for weeks to come. " "No, indeed!" rejoined the other, "that young officer is a fixture herefor six weeks at least. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor are broken legshealed in ten minutes--and such a beauty as he is, too! It's shameful tothink of!" "If she'd only let him alone, he'd done well enough--but she must go andjump right under the horses' feet, so that, of course, he had to springout to prevent her being killed, and that broke his leg, while shewasn't hurt a bit. Speaking of beauties, if Miss Amy could only haveseen herself then!--spotted with mud from head to foot, and her hairflying in all directions!" On hearing that I was not hurt, I sprang from the sofa and rushed to theglass, where I encountered the reflection of a most pitiable-lookingfigure. Even my face was daubed with mud and dirt, and I looked like averitable fright. Shame, mortification, and sorrow for my heedlessconduct almost overwhelmed me. In the selfish desire to signalizemyself, I had hazarded the life of a fellow-being, and brought upon himweeks of suffering which no act of mine could now alleviate. The tearsrolled down my cheeks; but having ascertained that my parents had notyet returned, I cut short the gossip of the servants, and ordering themto bring me some water, I arranged my disordered dress for a visit tothe sufferer's apartment. Doctor Irwin had been instantly sent for; and when I entered the room, he was seated by his patient's bedside, while Major Arlington lay withclosed eyes and pallid features in a kind of sleep or stupor. "Miss Amy, " whispered the doctor, "this is a sad business--and yourparents from home, too. What will be their feelings on their return?" I glanced at the motionless figure of the young officer, and too muchashamed to reply, hung my head in silence. "Are you sure that you were not at all hurt, my dear child?" hecontinued in a kind tone; "What a very wild proceeding it was to throwyourself into the melée! If two men could not manage the horses, couldyou suppose that your strength would be sufficient. You should havereasoned with yourself before taking such a step, for you see theunfortunate effects of it. " _Reason!_ there was not the least particle of reason in my wholecomposition; this was a wild, impulsive act, performed without the leastthought for the probable consequences, and I now stood gazing on thewreck I had made, in silent bewilderment. My parents soon returned; andhurrying to the apartment with countenances of astonishment and fear, there realized a confirmation of the dreadful accounts they had beenassailed with. "And who was the author of all this mischief? _Amy_. " Myeyes drooped under the stern, reproving glances I encountered, and Icrept about the house like a guilty thing--fervently wishing for thebodily suffering I had brought upon the victim of my wild attempt, instead of the pain of mind with which I was tormented. Days passed on, but the lapse of time was unheeded by me; my post was bythe bedside of the sufferer--my employment to anticipate his slightestwish, and yield to every humor. As he grew better I read to him, sung tohim, talked to him; and in return received the grateful glances of thoseexpressive eyes, which followed me about whenever I moved from his side. At length he could sit up in his apartment, and then walk slowly throughthe grounds, with the assistance of a heavy cane on one side and my armon the other; till at last he was pronounced to be as well as otherpeople; or, as Dr. Irwin expressed it, "as good as new. " Your eyes arebrightening up, Ella, in anticipation of a most sentimental love-tale;but I shall not gratify your desire of laughing at your grandmother'sfolly; but shall only say, that before he left, I had promised, with theconsent of my parents, to become Mrs. Arlington. I was married ateighteen, and, strange to say, to one who appeared a realization of allmy girlish fancies; he was noble-minded, warm-hearted, and almost asenthusiastic as myself--with a sweetness of temper which I have neverseen raffled, except by some act of injustice or cruelty. But do not flatter yourself, Ella, that life glided on with me like thepages of a romance; I was obliged to lay aside a great many sillytheories which I had indulged in, and come to plain reality much oftenerthan suited my inclination. A _perfect_ person is not to be found uponearth; when disposed to murmur at not meeting with the sacrifices youexpect, ask yourself if you would be willing to make these sacrificesfor another--and then be not surprised that others are not more freefrom the dross of self-consideration than you are. Also, do not supposethat it was my hair-brained performance at our first meeting whichattracted my husband's affections; no, often has the color mounted to myface at his reference to that scene, and his own impressions then. "You reminded me, Amy, " he would say, laughing, "of some reckless spritefrom the kingdom of misrule, who had flown into the scene, determined tomake all the trouble she could. It was very chivalrous of you, to besure, and I ought to be very grateful--but I must own that I feltexceedingly provoked at being obliged to risk my life by springing outto rescue you from the horses' hoofs. But never mind, _chere amie_" hewould add as he saw the hot tears starting to my eyes, while face, neck, and brow, were suffused with the hue of mortification, "there was anafter-page in the sick-room, when I beheld, with surprise, my crazyheroine transformed into the demure, and gentle nurse, and learned todistinguish a soft-toned voice, which always lingered in my ears likepleasant music; so that after all, I am really indebted to you, Amy, formaking me break my leg--for, if you had not done so, I am afraid I nevershould have discovered my jewel of a wife. " So much for my romance; but the scene generally ended with the kiss ofreconciliation, and I, too, learned to smile at my act of girlish folly. "My tale is told; my parents have long slept beside each other, where thelong grass waves over them--my elder brothers are still living--mybrother Henry is a beloved and venerated clergyman in one of our largecities--while the wild, hair-brained Fred became a talented lawyer inthe same place where he is universally respected. The rest of mybrothers are all dead; and we three only survive out of a family ofnine. Perhaps at some future time I may give you an account of myresidence in England; but I must now conclude my adventures for thepresent. " Here ended my grandmother's history, which had afforded us many eveningsof amusement. We were both surprised and pleased at her frankness inspeaking of her faults and mischievous acts; and could indeed hardlycomprehend that the very sensible, dignified lady before us had everbeen such an odd, harum-scarum sort of character--yet so it was, and shehad kindly related her own experience for our improvement. The lastchapter was intended more especially for my own particular edification;but we all laughed heartily at my grandmother's ideas of signalizingherself. That room is to us a charmed spot; and we look forward mostanxiously to the time when she is to begin an account of her life inEngland. THE END