A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING

By Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen

By permission of Charles Scribner's Sons. 

Copyright, 1876, by James R. Osgood & Co

I

Ralph Grimm was born a gentleman, He had the misfortune of coming intothe world some ten years later than might reasonably have been expected. Colonel Grim and his lady had celebrated twelve anniversaries of theirwedding-day, and had given up all hopes of ever having a son and heir, when this late comer startled them by his unexpected appearance. Theonly previous addition to the family had been a daughter, and she wasthen ten summers old. 

Ralph was a very feeble child, and could only with great difficulty bepersuaded to retain his hold of the slender thread which bound him toexistence. He was rubbed with whiskey, and wrapped in cotton, and givenmare's milk to drink, and God knows what not, and the Colonel swore around oath of paternal delight when at last the infant stopped gaspingin that distressing way and began to breathe like other human beings. The mother, who, in spite of her anxiety for the child's life, had foundtime to plot for him a career of future magnificence, now suddenly sethim apart for literature, because that was the easiest road to fame, anddisposed of him in marriage to one of the most distinguished families ofthe land. She cautiously suggested this to her husband when he came totake his seat at her bedside; but to her utter astonishment she foundthat he had been indulging a similar train of thought, and had alreadydestined the infant prodigy for the army. She, however, could not giveup her predilection for literature, and the Colonel, who could not bearto be contradicted in his own house, as he used to say, was gettingevery minute louder and more flushed, when, happily, the doctor'sarrival interrupted the dispute. 

As Ralph grew up from infancy to childhood, he began to give decidedpromise of future distinction. He was fond of sitting down in a cornerand sucking his thumb, which his mother interpreted as the sign of thatbrooding disposition peculiar to poets and men of lofty genius. At theage of five, he had become sole master in the house. He slapped hissister Hilda in the face, or pulled her hair, when she hesitated toobey him, tyrannized over his nurse, and sternly refused to go to bed inspite of his mother's entreaties. On such occasions, the Colonel wouldhide his face behind his newspaper, and chuckle with delight; it wasevident that nature had intended his son for a great military commander. 

As soon as Ralph himself was old enough to have any thoughts about hisfuture destiny, he made up his mind that he would like to be a pirate. A few months later, having contracted an immoderate taste for candy, hecontented himself with the comparatively humble position of a baker; butwhen he had read "Robinson Crusoe" he manifested a strong desire to goto sea in the hope of being wrecked on some desolate island. The parentsspent long evenings gravely discussing these indications of uncommongenius, and each interpreted them in his or her own way. 

"He is not like any other child I ever knew, " said the mother. 

"To be sure, " responded the father, earnestly. "He is a mostextraordinary child. I was a very remarkable child too, even if I do sayit myself; but, as far as I remember, I never aspired to being wreckedon an uninhabited island. "

The Colonel probably spoke the truth; but he forgot to take into accountthat he had never read "Robinson Crusoe. "

Of Ralph's school-days there is but little to report, for, to tell thetruth, he did not fancy going to school, as the discipline annoyed him. The day after his having entered the gymnasium, which was to preparehim for the Military Academy, the principal saw him waiting at the gateafter his class had been dismissed. He approached him, and asked why hedid not go home with the rest. 

"I am waiting for the servant to carry my books, " was the boy's answer. 

"Give me your books, " said the teacher. 

Ralph reluctantly obeyed. That day the Colonel was not a littlesurprised to see his son marching up the street, and every now and thenglancing behind him with a look of discomfort at the principal, whowas following quietly in his train, carrying a parcel of school-books. Colonel Grim and his wife, divining the teacher's intention, agreed thatit was a great outrage, but they did not mention the matter to Ralph. Henceforth, however, the boy refused to be accompanied by his servant. Aweek later he was impudent to the teacher of gymnastics, who whipped himin return. The Colonel's rage knew no bounds; he rode in great haste tothe gymnasium, reviled the teacher for presuming to chastise _his_ son, and committed the boy to the care of a private tutor. 

At the age of sixteen, Ralph went to the capital with the intention ofentering the Military Academy. He was a tall, handsome youth, slender ofstature, and carried himself as erect as a candle. He had a light, clearcomplexion of almost feminine delicacy; blond, curly hair, which healways kept carefully brushed; a low forehead, and a straight, finelymodeled nose. There was an expression of extreme sensitiveness aboutthe nostrils, and a look of indolence in the dark-blue eyes. But the_ensemble_ of his features was pleasing, his dress irreproachable, andhis manners bore no trace of the awkward self-consciousness peculiar tohis age. Immediately on his arrival in the capital he hired a suite ofrooms in the aristocratic part of the city, and furnished them ratherexpensively, but in excellent taste. From a bosom friend, whom he metby accident in the restaurant's pavilion in the park, he learned thata pair of antlers, a stuffed eagle, or falcon, and a couple of swords, were indispensable to a well-appointed apartment. He accordingly boughtthese articles at a curiosity shop. During the first weeks of hisresidence in the city he made some feeble efforts to perfect himself inmathematics, in which he suspected he was somewhat deficient. But whenthe same officious friend laughed at him, and called him "green, " hedetermined to trust to fortune, and henceforth devoted himself themore assiduously to the French ballet, where he had already made someinteresting acquaintances. 

The time for the examination came; the French ballet did not prove agood preparation; Ralph failed. It quite shook him for the time, andhe felt humiliated. He had not the courage to tell his father; so helingered on from day to day, sat vacantly gazing out of his window, andtried vainly to interest himself in the busy bustle down on the street. It provoked him that everybody else should be so light-hearted, whenhe was, or at least fancied himself, in trouble. The parlor grewintolerable; he sought refuge in his bedroom. There he sat one evening(it was the third day after the examination), and stared out upon thegray stone walls which on all sides inclosed the narrow courtyard. The round stupid face of the moon stood tranquilly dozing like a greatLimburger cheese suspended under the sky. 

Ralph, at least, could think of a no more fitting simile. But thebright-eyed young girl in the window hard by sent a longing look up tothe same moon, and thought of her distant home on the fjords, where theglaciers stood like hoary giants, and caught the yellow moonbeams ontheir glittering shields of snow. She had been reading "Ivanhoe" all theafternoon, until the twilight had overtaken her quite unaware, andnow she suddenly remembered that she had forgotten to write her Germanexercise. She lifted her face and saw a pair of sad, vacant eyes gazingat her from the next window in the angle of the court She was a littlestartled at first, but in the next moment she thought of her Germanexercise and took heart. 

"Do you know German?" she said; then immediately repented that she hadsaid it. 

"I do, " was the answer. 

She took up her apron and began to twist it with an air ofembarrassment. 

"I didn't mean anything, " she whispered, at last. "I only wanted toknow. "

"You are very kind. "

That answer roused her; he was evidently making sport of her. 

"Well, then, if you do, you may write my exercise for me. I have markedthe place in the book. "

And she flung her book over to the window, and he caught it on the edgeof the sill, just as it was falling. 

"You are a very strange girl, " he remarked, turning over the leaves ofthe book, although it was too dark to read. "How old are you?"

"I shall be fourteen six weeks before Christmas, " answered she, frankly. 

"Then I excuse you. "

"No, indeed, " cried she, vehemently. "You needn't excuse me at all. Ifyou don't want to write my exercise, you may send the book back again. Iam very sorry I spoke to you, and I shall never do it again. "

"But you will not get the book back again without the exercise, " repliedhe, quietly. "Good-night. "

The girl stood long looking after him, hoping that he would return. Then, with a great burst of repentance, she hid her face in her lap, andbegan to cry. 

"Oh, dear, I didn't mean to be rude, " she sobbed. "But it was Ivanhoeand Rebecca who upset me. "

The next morning she was up before daylight, and waited for two longhours in great suspense before the curtain of his window was raised. Hegreeted her politely; threw a hasty glance around the court to see if hewas observed, and then tossed her book dexterously over into her hands. 

"I have pinned the written exercise to the flyleaf, " he said. "You willprobably have time to copy it before breakfast. "

"I am ever so much obliged to you, " she managed to stammer. 

He looked so tall and handsome, and grown-up, and her remorse stuck inher throat, and threatened to choke her. She had taken him for a boy ashe sat there in his window the evening before. 

"By the way, what is your name?" he asked, carelessly, as he turned togo. 

"Bertha. "

"Well, my dear Bertha, I am happy to have made your acquaintance. "

And he again made her a polite bow, and entered his parlor. 

"How provokingly familiar he is, " thought she; "but no one can deny thathe is handsome. "

The bright roguish face of the young girl haunted Ralph during the wholenext week. He had been in love at least ten times before, of course;but, like most boys, with young ladies far older than himself. He foundhimself frequently glancing over to her window in the hope of catchinganother glimpse of her face; but the curtain was always drawn down, and Bertha remained invisible. During the second week, however, sherelented, and they had many a pleasant chat together. He now volunteeredto write all her exercises, and she made no objections. He learned thatshe was the daughter of a well-to-do peasant in the sea-districts ofNorway (and it gave him quite a shock to hear it), and that she wasgoing to school in the city, and boarded with an old lady who kept a_pension_ in the house adjoining the one in which he lived. 

One day in the autumn Ralph was surprised by the sudden arrival of hisfather, and the fact of his failure in the examination could no longerbe kept a secret. The old Colonel flared up at once when Ralph madehis confession; the large veins upon his forehead swelled; he grewcoppery-red in his face, and stormed up and down the floor, until hisson became seriously alarmed; but, to his great relief, he was soon madeaware that his father's wrath was not turned against him personally, butagainst the officials of the Military Academy who had rejected him. The Colonel took it as insult to his own good name and irreproachablestanding as an officer; he promptly refused any other explanation, andvainly racked his brain to remember if any youthful folly of his couldpossibly have made him enemies among the teachers of the Academy. Heat last felt satisfied that it was envy of his own greatness and rapidadvancement which had induced the rascals to take vengeance on his son. Ralph reluctantly followed his father back to the country town wherethe latter was stationed, and the fair-haired Bertha vanished from hishorizon. His mother's wish now prevailed, and he began, in his own easyway, to prepare himself for the University. He had little taste forCicero, and still less for Virgil, but with the use of a "pony" he soongained sufficient knowledge of these authors to be able to talk in asort of patronizing way about them, to the great delight of his fondparents. He took quite a fancy, however, to the ode in Horace endingwith the lines:

 Dolce ridentem, Dulce loqucntem, Lalagen amabo. 

And in his thought he substituted for Lalage the fair-haired Bertha, quite regardless of the requirements of the metre. 

To make a long story short, three years later Ralph returned to thecapital, and, after having worn out several tutors, actually succeededin entering the University. 

The first year of college life is a happy time to every young man, andRalph enjoyed its processions, its parliamentary gatherings, andits leisure, as well as the rest. He was certainly not the man to besentimental over the loss of a young girl whom, moreover, he had onlyknown for a few weeks. Nevertheless, he thought of her at odd times, butnot enough to disturb his pleasure. The standing of his family, his ownhandsome appearance, and his immaculate linen opened to him the besthouses of the city, and he became a great favorite in society. Atlectures he was seldom seen, but more frequently in the theatres, wherehe used to come in during the middle of the first act, take his stationin front of the orchestra box, and eye, through his lorgnette, by turns, the actresses and the ladies of the parquet. 

II

Two months passed, and then came the great annual ball which thestudents give at the opening of the second semester. Ralph was a man ofimportance that evening; first, because he belonged to a great family;secondly, because he was the handsomest man of his year. He wore a largegolden star on his breast (for his fellow-students had made him a Knightof the Golden Boar) and a badge of colored ribbons in his buttonhole. 

The ball was a brilliant affair, and everybody was in excellent spirits, especially the ladies. Ralph danced incessantly, twirled his softmustache, and uttered amiable platitudes. It was toward midnight, justas the company was moving out to supper, that he caught the glance of apair of dark-blue eyes, which suddenly drove the blood to his cheeksand hastened the beating of his heart. But when he looked once more thedark-blue eyes were gone, and his unruly heart went on hammering againsthis side. He laid his hand on his breast and glanced furtively at hisfair neighbor, but she looked happy and unconcerned, for the flavor ofthe ice cream was delicious. It seemed an endless meal, but, when itwas done, Ralph rose, led his partner back to the ballroom, and hastilyexcused himself. His glance wandered round the wide hall, seeking thewell-remembered eyes once more, and, at length, finding them in a remotecorner, half hid behind a moving wall of promenaders. In another momenthe was at Bertha's side. 

"You must have been purposely hiding yourself, Miss Bertha, " said he, when the usual greetings were exchanged. "I have not caught a glimpse ofyou all this evening, until a few moments ago. "

"But I have seen you all the while, " answered the girl, frankly. "I knewyou at once as I entered the hall. "

"If I had but known that you were here, " resumed Ralph, as it wereinvisibly expanding with an agreeable sense of dignity, "I assure youyou would have been the very first one I should have sought. "

She raised her large grave eyes to his, as if questioning his sincerity;but she made no answer. 

"Good gracious!" thought Ralph. "She takes things terribly in earnest. "

"You look so serious, Miss Bertha, " said he, after a moment's pause. "Iremember you as a bright-eyed, flaxen-haired little girl, who threw herGerman exercise-book to me across the yard, and whose merry laughterstill rings pleasantly in my memory, I confess I don't find it quiteeasy to identify this grave young lady with my merry friend of threeyears ago. "

"In other words, you are disappointed at not finding me the same as Iused to be. "

"No, not exactly that; but--"

Ralph paused and looked puzzled. There was something in the earnestnessof her manner which made a facetious compliment seem grosslyinappropriate, and in the moment no other escape suggested itself. 

"But what?" demanded Bertha, mercilessly. 

"Have you ever lost an old friend?" asked he, abruptly. 

"Yes; how so?"

"Then, " answered he, while his features lighted up with a happyinspiration--"then you will appreciate my situation. I fondly cherishedmy old picture of you in my memory. Now I have lost it, and I can nothelp regretting the loss. I do not mean, however, to imply that this newacquaintance--this second edition of yourself, so to speak--will proveless interesting. "

She again sent him a grave, questioning look, and began to gaze intentlyupon the stone in her bracelet. 

"I suppose you will laugh at me, " began she, while a sudden blushflitted over her countenance. "But this is my first ball, and I feelas if I had rushed into a whirlpool, from which I have, since the firstrash plunge was made, been vainly trying to escape. I feel so dreadfullyforlorn. I hardly know anybody here except my cousin, who invited me, and I hardly think I know him either. "

"Well, since you are irredeemably committed, " replied Ralph, as themusic, after some prefatory flourishes, broke into the delicious rhythmof a Strauss waltz, "then it is no use struggling against fate. Come, let us make the plunge together. Misery loves company. "

He offered her his arm, and she rose, somewhat hesitatingly, andfollowed. 

"I am afraid, " she whispered, as they fell into line with the processionthat was moving down the long hall, "that you have asked me to dancemerely because I said I felt forlorn. If that is the case, I shouldprefer to be led back to my seat. "

"What a base imputation!" cried Ralph. 

There was something so charmingly _naive_ in thisself-depreciation--something so altogether novel in his experience, and, he could not help adding, just a little bit countrified. His spiritsrose; he began to relish keenly his position as an experienced manof the world, and, in the agreeable glow of patronage and conscioussuperiority, chatted with hearty _abandon_ with his little rusticbeauty. 

"If your dancing is as perfect as your German exercises were, " said she, laughing, as they swung out upon the floor, "then I promise myself agood deal of pleasure from our meeting. "

"Never fear, " answered he, quickly reversing his step, and whirling withmany a capricious turn away among the thronging couples. 

When Ralph drove home in his carriage toward morning he briefly summedup his impressions of Bertha in the following adjectives: intelligent, delightfully unsophisticated, a little bit verdant, but devilish pretty. 

Some weeks later Colonel Grim received an appointment at the fortress ofAggershuus, and immediately took up his residence in the capital. He sawthat his son cut a fine figure in the highest circles of society, andexpressed his gratification in the most emphatic terms. If he hadknown, however, that Ralph was in the habit of visiting, with alarmingregularity, at the house of a plebeian merchant in a somewhat obscurestreet, he would, no doubt, have been more chary of his praise. But theColonel suspected nothing, and it was well for the peace of the familythat he did not. It may have been cowardice in Ralph that henever mentioned Bertha's name to his family or to his aristocraticacquaintances; for, to be candid, he himself felt ashamed of the powershe exerted over him, and by turns pitied and ridiculed himself forpursuing so inglorious a conquest. Nevertheless it wounded his egotismthat she never showed any surprise at seeing him, that she received himwith with a certain frank unceremoniousness, which, however, was verybecoming to her; that she invariably went on with her work heedlessof his presence, and in everything treated him as if she had been hisequal. She persisted in talking with him in a half sisterly fashionabout his studies and his future career, warned him with greatsolicitude against some of his reprobate friends, of whose merryadventures he had told her; and if he ventured to compliment her onher beauty or her accomplishments, she would look up gravely fromher sewing, or answer him in a way which seemed to banish the idea oflove-making into the land of the impossible. He was constantly tormentedby the suspicion that she secretly disapproved of him, and that from amere moral interest in his welfare she was conscientiously laboringto make him a better man. Day after day he parted from her feelinghumiliated, faint-hearted, and secretly indignant both at himself andher, and day after day he returned only to renew the same experience. At last it became too intolerable, he could endure it no longer. Let itmake or break, certainty, at all risks, was at least preferable to thissickening suspense. That he loved her, he could no longer doubt; let hisparents foam and fret as much as they pleased; for once he was going tostand on his own legs. And in the end, he thought, they would have toyield, for they had no son but him. 

Bertha was going to return to her home on the sea-coast in a week. Ralph stood in the little low-ceiled parlor, as she imagined, to bidher good-by. They had been speaking of her father, her brothers, and thefarm, and she had expressed the wish that if he ever should come to thatpart of the country he might pay them a visit. Her words had kindleda vague hope in his breast, but in their very frankness and friendlyregard there was something which slew the hope they had begotten. Heheld her hand in his, and her large confiding eyes shone with an emotionwhich was beautiful, but was yet not love. 

"If you were but a peasant born like myself, " said she, in a voice whichsounded almost tender, "then I should like to talk to you as I would tomy own brother; but--"

"No, not brother, Bertha, " cried he, with sudden vehemence; "I love youbetter than I ever loved any earthly being, and if you knew how firmlythis love has clutched at the roots of my heart, you would perhaps--youwould at least not look so reproachfully at me. "

She dropped his hand, and stood for a moment silent. 

"I am sorry that it should have come to this, Mr. Grim, " said she, visibly struggling for calmness. "And I am perhaps more to blame thanyou. "

"Blame, " muttered he, "why are you to blame?"

"Because I do not love you; although I sometimes feared that this mightcome. But then again I persuaded myself that it could not be so. "

He took a step toward the door, laid his hand on the knob, and gazeddown before him. 

"Bertha, " began he, slowly, raising his head, "you have alwaysdisapproved of me, you have despised me in your heart, but you thoughtyou would be doing a good work if you succeeded in making a man of me. "

"You use strong language, " answered she, hesitatingly; "but there istruth in what you say. "

Again there was a long pause, in which the ticking of the old parlorclock grew louder and louder. 

"Then, " he broke out at last, "tell me before we part if I can donothing to gain--I will not say your love--but only your regard? Whatwould you do if you were in my place?"

"My advice you will hardly heed, and I do not even know that it wouldbe well if you did. But if I were a man in your position, I should breakwith my whole past, start out into the world where nobody knew me, andwhere I should be dependent only upon my own strength, and there I wouldconquer a place for myself, if it were only for the satisfaction ofknowing that I was really a man. Here cushions are sewed under yourarms, a hundred invisible threads bind you to a life of idleness andvanity, everybody is ready to carry you on his hands, the road issmoothed for you, every stone carefully moved out of your path, and youwill probably go to your grave without having ever harbored one earnestthought, without having done one manly deed. "

Ralph stood transfixed, gazing at her with open mouth; he felt a kind ofstupid fright, as if some one had suddenly seized him by the shouldersand shaken him violently. He tried vainly to remove his eyes fromBertha. She held him as by a powerful spell. He saw that her face waslighted with an altogether new beauty; he noticed the deep glow upon hercheek, the brilliancy of her eye, the slight quiver of her lip. But hesaw all this as one sees things in a half-trance, without attempting toaccount for them; the door between his soul and his senses was closed. 

"I know that I have been bold in speaking to you in this way, " she saidat last, seating herself in a chair at the window. "But it was yourselfwho asked me. And I have felt all the time that I should have to tellyou this before we parted. "

"And, " answered he, making a strong effort to appear calm, "if I followyour advice, will you allow me to see you once more before you go?"

"I shall remain here another week, and shall, during that time, alwaysbe ready to receive you. "

"Thank you. Good-by. "

"Good-by. "

Ralph carefully avoided all the fashionable thoroughfares; he feltdegraded before himself, and he had an idea that every man could readhis humiliation in his countenance. Now he walked on quickly, strikingthe sidewalk with his heels; now, again, he fell into an uneasy, reckless saunter, according as the changing moods in' spired defianceof his sentence, or a qualified surrender. And, as he walked on, thebitterness grew within him, and he piteously reviled himself for havingallowed himself to be made a fool of by "that little country goose, "when he was well aware that there were hundreds of women of the bestfamilies of the land who would feel honored at receiving his attentions. But this sort of reasoning he knew to be both weak and contemptible, andhis better self soon rose in loud rebellion. 

"After all, " he muttered, "in the main thing she was right. I am amiserable good-for-nothing, a hothouse plant, a poor stick, and if Iwere a woman myself, I don't think I should waste my affections on a manof that calibre. "

Then he unconsciously fell to analyzing Bertha's character, wonderingvaguely that a person who moved so timidly in social life, appearingso diffident, from an ever-present fear of blundering against theestablished forms of etiquette, could judge so quickly, and with such amerciless certainty, whenever a moral question, a question of rightand wrong, was at issue. And, pursuing the same train of thought, hecontrasted her with himself, who moved in the highest spheres of societyas in his native element, heedless of moral scruples, and conscious ofno loftier motive for his actions than the immediate pleasure of themoment. 

As Ralph turned the corner of a street, he heard himself hailed from theother sidewalk by a chorus of merry voices. 

"Ah, my dear Baroness, " cried a young man, springing across the streetand grasping Ralph's hand (all his student friends called him theBaroness), "in the name of this illustrious company, allow me to saluteyou. But why the deuce--what is the matter with you? If you have the_Katzenjammer_* soda-water is the thing. Come along--it's my treat!"

 * _Katzenjammer_ is the sensation a man has the morning after a carousal. 

The students instantly thronged around Ralph, who stood distractedlyswinging his cane and smiling idiotically. 

"I am not quite well, " said he; "leave me alone. "

"No, to be sure, you don't look well, " cried a jolly youth, againstwhom Bertha had frequently warned him; "but a glass of sherry will soonrestore you. It would be highly immoral to leave you in this conditionwithout taking care of you. "

Ralph again vainly tried to remonstrate; but the end was, that hereluctantly followed. 

He had always been a conspicuous figure in the student world; but thatnight he astonished his friends by his eloquence, his reckless humor, and his capacity for drinking. He made a speech for "Woman, " whichbristled with wit, cynicism, and sarcastic epigrams. One young man, named Vinter, who was engaged, undertook to protest against his sweepingcondemnation, and declared that Ralph, who was a universal favoriteamong the ladies, ought to be the last to revile them. 

"If, " he went on, "the Baroness should propose to six well-knownladies here in this city whom I could mention, I would wager sixJohannisbergers, and an equal amount of champagne, that every one ofthem would accept him. "

The others loudly applauded this proposal, and Ralph accepted the wager. The letters were written on the spot, and immediately despatched. Towardmorning, the merry carousal broke up, and Ralph was conducted in triumphto his home. 

III

Two days later, Ralph again knocked on Bertha's door. He looked palerthan usual, almost haggard; his immaculate linen was a little crumpled, and he carried no cane; his lips were tightly compressed, and his facewore an air of desperate resolution. 

"It is done, " he said, as he seated himself opposite her. "I am going. "

"Going!" cried she, startled at his unusual appearance. "How, where?"

"To America. I sail to-night. I have followed your advice, you see. Ihave cut off the last bridge behind me. "

"But, Ralph, " she exclaimed, in a voice of alarm. "Something dreadfulmust have happened. Tell me quick; I must know it. "

"No; nothing dreadful, " muttered he, smiling bitterly. "I have madea little scandal, that is all. My father told me to-day to go to thedevil, if I chose, and my mother gave me five hundred dollars to help mealong on the way. If you wish to know, here is the explanation. "

And he pulled from his pocket six perfumed and carefully folded notes, and threw them into her lap. 

"Do you wish me to read them?" she asked, with growing surprise. 

"Certainly. Why not?"

She hastily opened one note after the other, and read. 

"But, Ralph, " she cried, springing up from her seat, while her eyesflamed with indignation, "what does this mean? What have you done?"

"I didn't think it needed any explanation, " replied he, with feignedindifference. "I proposed to them all, and, you see, they all acceptedme. I received all these letters to-day. I only wished to know whetherthe whole world regarded me as such a worthless scamp as you told me Iwas. "

She did not answer, but sat mutely staring at him, fiercely crumpling arose-colored note in her hand. He began to feel uncomfortable under hergaze, and threw himself about uneasily in his chair. 

"Well, " said he, at length, rising, "I suppose there is nothing more. Good-by. "

"One moment, Mr. Grim, " demanded she, sternly. "Since I have alreadysaid so much, and you have obligingly revealed to me a new side of yourcharacter, I claim the right to correct the opinion I expressed of youat our last meeting. "

"I am all attention. "

"I did think, Mr. Grim, " began she, breathing hard, and steadyingherself against the table at which she stood, "that you were a veryselfish man--an embodiment of selfishness, absolute and supreme, but Idid not believe that you were wicked. "

"And what convinced you that I was selfish, if I may ask?"

"What convinced me?" repeated she, in a tone of inexpressible contempt. "When did you ever act from any generous regard for others? What gooddid you ever do to anybody?"

"You might ask, with equal justice, what good I ever did to myself. "

"In a certain sense, yes; because to gratify a mere momentary wish ishardly doing one's self good. "

"Then I have, at all events, followed the Biblical precept, and treatedmy neighbor very much as I treat myself. "

"I did think, " continued Bertha, without heeding the remark, "that youwere at bottom kind-hearted, but too hopelessly well-bred ever to commitan act of any decided complexion, either good or bad. Now I see thatI have misjudged you, and that you are capable of outraging the mostsacred feelings of a woman's heart in mere wantonness, or for the sakeof satisfying a base curiosity, which never could have entered the mindof an upright and generous man. "

The hard, benumbed look in Ralph's face thawed in the warmth of herpresence, and her words, though stern, touched a secret spring in hisheart. He made two or three vain attempts to speak, then suddenly brokedown, and cried:

"Bertha, Bertha, even if you scorn me, have patience with me, andlisten. "

And he told her, in rapid, broken sentences, how his love for her hadgrown from day to day, until he could no longer master it; and how, inan unguarded moment, when his pride rose in fierce conflict againsthis love, he had done this reckless deed of which he was now heartilyashamed. The fervor of his words touched her, for she felt that theywere sincere. Large mute tears trembled in her eyelashes as she satgazing tenderly at him, and in the depth of her soul the wish awoke thatshe might have been able to return this great and strong love of his;for she felt that in this love lay the germ of a new, of a stronger andbetter man. She noticed, with a half-regretful pleasure, his handsomefigure, his delicately shaped hands, and the noble cast of his features;an overwhelming pity for him rose within her, and she began to reproachherself for having spoken so harshly, and, as she now thought, sounjustly. Perhaps he read in her eyes the unspoken wish. He seized herhand, and his words fell with a warm and alluring cadence upon her ear. 

"I shall not see you for a long time to come, Bertha, " said he, "but ifat the end of five or six years your hand is still free, and Ireturn another man--a man to whom you could safely intrust yourhappiness--would you then listen to what I may have to say to you? For Ipromise, by all that we both hold sacred--"

"No, no, " interrupted she, hastily. "Promise nothing. It would be unjustto yourself, and perhaps also to me; for a sacred promise is a terriblething, Ralph. Let us both remain free; and, if you return and still loveme, then come, and I shall receive you and listen to you. And even ifyou have outgrown your love, which is, indeed, more probable, come stillto visit me wherever I may be, and we shall meet as friends and rejoicein the meeting. "

"You know best, " he murmured. "Let it be as you have said. "

He arose, took her face between his hands, gazed long and tenderly intoher eyes, pressed a kiss upon her forehead, and hastened away. 

That night Ralph boarded the steamer for Hull, and three weeks laterlanded in New York. 

IV

The first three months of Ralph's sojourn in America were spent in vainattempts to obtain a situation. Day after day he walked down Broadway, calling at various places of business, and night after night he returnedto his cheerless room with a faint heart and declining spirits. It was, after all, a more serious thing than he had imagined, to cut the cablewhich binds one to the land of one's birth. There a hundred subtileinfluences, the existence of which no one suspects until the moment theyare withdrawn, unite to keep one in the straight path of rectitude, orat least of external respectability; and Ralph's life had been all insociety; the opinion of his fellow-men had been the one force to whichhe implicitly deferred, and the conscience by which he had been wontto test his actions had been nothing but the aggregate judgment of hisfriends. To such a man the isolation and the utter irresponsibility of alife among strangers was tenfold more dangerous; and Ralph found, to hishorror, that his character contained innumerable latent possibilitieswhich the easy-going life in his home probably never would have revealedto him. It often cut him to the quick, when, on entering an office inhis daily search for employment, he was met by hostile or suspiciousglances, or when, as it occasionally happened, the door was slammed inhis face, as if he were a vagabond or an impostor. Then the wolf wasoften roused within him, and he felt a momentary wild desire to becomewhat the people here evidently believed him to be. Many a night hesauntered irresolutely about the gambling places in obscure streets, and the glare of light, the rude shouts and clamors in the same momentrepelled and attracted him. If he went to the devil, who would care? Hisfather had himself pointed out the way to him; and nobody could blamehim if he followed the advice. But then again a memory emerged from thatchamber of his soul which still he held sacred; and Bertha's deep-blueeyes gazed upon him with their earnest look of tender warning andregret. 

When the summer was half gone, Ralph had gained many a hard victory overhimself, and learned many a useful lesson; and at length he swallowedhis pride, divested himself of his fine clothes, and accepted aposition as assistant gardener at a villa on the Hudson. And as he stoodperspiring with a spade in his hand, and a cheap broad-brimmed straw haton his head, he often took a grim pleasure in picturing to himselfhow his aristocratic friends at home would receive him if he shouldintroduce himself to them in this new costume. 

"After all, it was only my position they cared for, " he reflected, bitterly; "without my father's name what would I be to them?"

Then, again, there was a certain satisfaction in knowing that, forhis present situation, humble as it was, he was indebted to nobody buthimself; and the thought that Bertha's eyes, if they could have seen himnow, would have dwelt upon him with pleasure and approbation, went farto console him for his aching back, his sunburned face, and his swollenand blistered hands. 

One day, as Ralph was raking the gravel-walks in the garden, hisemployer's daughter, a young lady of seventeen, came out and spoke tohim. His culture and refinement of manner struck her with wonder, andshe asked him to tell her his history; but then he suddenly grew verygrave, and she forbore pressing him. From that time she attached a kindof romantic interest to him, and finally induced her father to obtainhim a situation that would be more to his taste. And, before wintercame, Ralph saw the dawn of a new future glimmering before him. He hadwrestled bravely with fate, and had once more gained a victory. He beganthe career in which success and distinction awaited him as proofreaderon a newspaper in the city. He had fortunately been familiar with theEnglish language before he left home, and by the strength of his will heconquered all difficulties. At the end of two years he became attachedto the editorial staff; new ambitious hopes, hitherto foreign to hismind, awoke within him; and with joyous tumult of heart he saw lifeopening its wide vistas before him, and he labored on manfully to repairthe losses of the past, and to prepare himself for greater usefulness intimes to come. He felt in himself a stronger and fuller manhood, as ifthe great arteries of the vast universal world-life pulsed in his ownbeing. The drowsy, indolent existence at home appeared like a dullremote dream from which he had awaked, and he blessed the destiny which, by its very sternness, had mercifully saved him; he blessed her, too, who, from the very want of love for him, had, perhaps, made him worthierof love. 

The years flew rapidly. Society had flung its doors open to him, andwhat was more, he had found some warm friends, in whose houses hecould come and go at pleasure. He enjoyed keenly the privilege of dailyassociation with high-minded and refined women; their eager activityof intellect stimulated him, their exquisite ethereal grace and theirdelicately chiseled beauty satisfied his ęsthetic cravings, and theresponsive vivacity of their nature prepared him ever new surprises. He felt a strange fascination in the presence of these women, and theconviction grew upon him that their type of womanhood was superior toany he had hitherto known. And by way of refuting his own argument, hewould draw from his pocketbook the photograph of Bertha, which had asecret compartment there all to itself, and, gazing tenderly at it, would eagerly defend her against the disparaging reflections which theinvoluntary comparison had provoked. And still, how could he help seeingthat her features, though well molded, lacked animation; that her eye, with its deep, trustful glance, was not brilliant, and that the calmearnestness of her face, when compared with the bright, intellectualbeauty of his present friends, appeared pale and simple, like a violetin a bouquet of vividly colored roses? It gave him a quick pang, when, at times, he was forced to admit this; nevertheless, it was the truth. 

After six years of residence in America, Ralph had gained a very highreputation as a journalist of rare culture and ability, and in 1867 hewas sent to the World's Exhibition in Paris, as correspondent of thepaper on which he had during all these years been employed. What wonder, then, that he started for Europe a few weeks before his presence wasneeded in the imperial city, and that he steered his course directlytoward the fjord valley where Bertha had her home? It was she who hadbidden him Godspeed when he fled from the land of his birth, and she, too, should receive his first greeting on his return. 

V

The sun had fortified itself behind a citadel of flaming clouds, and theupper forest region shone with a strange ethereal glow, while thelower plains were wrapped in shadow; but the shadow itself had astrong suffusion of color. The mountain peaks rose cold and blue in thedistance. 

Ralph, having inquired his way of the boatman who had landed him at thepier, walked rapidly along the beach, with a small valise in his hand, and a light summer overcoat flung over his shoulder. Many half-thoughtsgrazed his mind, and ere the first had taken shape, the second and thethird came and chased it away. And still they all in some fashion hadreference to Bertha; for in a misty, abstract way, she filled his wholemind; but for some indefinable reason, he was afraid to give free reinto the sentiment which lurked in the remoter corners of his soul. 

Onward he hastened, while his heart throbbed with the quickening tempoof mingled expectation and fear. Now and then one of those chill gustsof air, which seem to be careering about aimlessly in the atmosphereduring early summer, would strike into his face, and recal! him to akeener self-consciousness. 

Ralph concluded, from his increasing agitation, that he must be verynear Bertha's home. He stopped and looked around him. He saw a largemaple at the roadside, some thirty steps from where he was standing, and the girl who was sitting under it, resting her head in her hand andgazing out over the sea, he recognized in an instant to be Bertha. Hesprang up on the road, not crossing, however, her line of vision, andapproached her noiselessly from behind. 

"Bertha, " he whispered. 

She gave a little joyous cry, sprang up, and made a gesture as ifto throw herself in his arms; then suddenly checked herself, blushedcrimson, and moved a step backward. 

"You came so suddenly, " she murmured. 

"But, Bertha, " cried he (and the full bass of his voice rang through hervery soul), "have I gone into exile and waited these many years for socold a welcome?"

"You have changed so much, Ralph, " she answered, with that old gravesmile which he knew so well, and stretched out both her hands towardhim. "And I have thought of you so much since you went away, and blamedmyself because I had judged you so harshly, and wondered that you couldlisten to me so patiently, and never bear me any malice for what Isaid. "

"If you had said a word less, " declared Ralph, seating himself ather side on the greensward, "or if you had varnished it over withpoliteness, then you would probably have failed to produce any effectand I should not have been burdened with that heavy debt of gratitudewhich I now owe you. I was a pretty thick-skinned animal in those days, Bertha. You said the right word at the right moment; you gave me a boldand a good piece of advice, which my own ingenuity would never havesuggested to me. I will not thank you, because, in so grave a case asthis, spoken thanks sound like a mere mockery. Whatever I am, Bertha, and whatever I may hope to be, I owe it all to that hour. "

She listened with rapture to the manly assurance of his voice; her eyesdwelt with unspeakable joy upon his strong, bronzed features, his fullthick blond beard, and the vigorous proportions of his frame. Many andmany a time during his absence had she wondered how he would look ifhe ever came back, and with that minute conscientiousness which, as itwere, pervaded her whole character, she had held herself responsiblebefore God for his fate, prayed for him, and trembled lest evil powersshould gain the ascendency over his soul. 

On their way to the house they talked together of many things, but ina guarded, cautious fashion, and without the cheerful abandonment offormer years. They both, as it were, groped their way carefully in eachother's minds, and each vaguely felt that there was something in theother's thought which it was not well to touch unbidden. Bertha sawthat all her fears for him had been groundless, and his very appearancelifted the whole weight of responsibility from her breast; and still, did she rejoice at her deliverance from her burden? Ah, no; in thismoment she knew that that which she had foolishly cherished as thebest and noblest part of herself had been but a selfish need of her ownheart. She feared that she had only taken that interest in him which onefeels in a thing of one's own making, and now, when she saw that he hadrisen quite above her; that he was free and strong, and could have nomore need of her, she had, instead of generous pleasure at his success, but a painful sense of emptiness, as if something very dear had beentaken from her. 

Ralph, too, was loth to analyze the impression his old love made uponhim. His feelings were of so complex a nature, he was anxious to keephis more magnanimous impulses active, and he strove hard to convincehimself that she was still the same to him as she had been before theyhad ever parted. But, alas! though the heart be warm and generous, theeye is a merciless critic. And the man who had moved on the wide arenaof the world, whose mind had housed the large thoughts of this century, and expanded with its invigorating breath--was he to blame because hehad unconsciously outgrown his old provincial self, and could no morejudge by its standards?

Bertha's father was a peasant, but he had, by his lumber trade, acquiredwhat in Norway was called a very handsome fortune. He received his guestwith dignified reserve, and Ralph thought he detected in his eyes alurking look of distrust. "I know your errand, " that look seemed to say, "but you had better give it up at once. It will be of no use for you totry. "

And after supper, as Ralph and Bertha sat talking confidingly with eachother at the window, he sent his daughter a quick, sharp glance, andthen, without ceremony, commanded her to go to bed. Ralph's heart gavea great thump within him; not because he feared the old man, but becausehis words, as well as his glances, revealed to him the sad history ofthese long, patient years. He doubted no longer that the love which hehad once so ardently desired was his at last; and he made a silent vowthat, come what might, he would remain faithful. 

As he came down to breakfast the next morning, he found Bertha sittingat the window, engaged in hemming what appeared to be a rough kitchentowel. She bent eagerly over her work, and only a vivid flush upon hercheek told him that she had noticed his coming. He took a chair, seatedhimself opposite her, and bade her "good-morning. " She raised her head, and showed him a sweet, troubled countenance, which the early sunlightillumined with a high spiritual beauty. It reminded him forcibly ofthose pale, sweet-faced saints of Fra Angelico, with whom the frailflesh seems ever on the point of yielding to the ardent aspirations ofthe spirit. And still even in this moment he could not prevent his eyesfrom observing that one side of her forefinger was rough from sewing, and that the whiteness of her arm, which the loose sleeves displayed, contrasted strongly with the browned and sunburned complexion of herhands. 

After breakfast they again walked together on the beach, and Ralph, having once formed his resolution, now talked freely of the NewWorld--of his sphere of activity there; of his friends and of his plansfor the future; and she listened to him with a mild, perplexed look inher eyes, as if trying vainly to follow the flight of his thoughts. Andhe wondered, with secret dismay, whether she was still the same strong, brave-hearted girl whom he had once accounted almost bold; whether thelife in this narrow valley, amid a hundred petty and depressing cares, had not cramped her spiritual growth, and narrowed the sphere of herthought. Or was she still the same, and was it only he who had changed?At last he gave utterance to his wonder, and she answered him in thosegrave, earnest tones which seemed in themselves to be half a refutationof his doubts. 

"It was easy for me to give you daring advice then, Ralph, " she said. "Like most school-girls, I thought that life was a great and gloriousthing, and that happiness was a fruit which hung within reach of everyhand. Now I have lived for six years trying single-handed to relieve thewant and suffering of the needy people with whom I come in contact, and their squalor and wretchedness have sickened me, and, what is stillworse, I feel that all I can do is as a drop in the ocean, and, afterall, amounts to nothing. I know I am no longer the same reckless girlwho, with the very best intention, sent you wandering through the wideworld; and I thank God that it proved to be for your good, although thewhole now appears quite incredible to me. My thoughts have moved so longwithin the narrow circle of these mountains that they have lost theiryouthful elasticity, and can no more rise above them. "

Ralph detected, in the midst of her despondency, a spark of her formerfire, and grew eloquent in his endeavors to persuade her that she wasunjust to herself, and that there was but a wider sphere of life neededto develop all the latent powers of her rich nature. 

At the dinner-table, her father again sat eying his guest with that samecold look of distrust and suspicion. And when the meal was at an end, herose abruptly and called his daughter into another room. Presently Ralphheard his angry voice resounding through the house, interrupted now andthen by a woman's sobs, and a subdued, passionate pleading. When Berthaagain entered the room, her eyes were very red, and he saw that she hadbeen weeping. She threw a shawl over her shoulders, beckoned to him withher hand, and he arose and followed her. She led the way silently untilthey reached a thick copse of birch and alder near the strand. Shedropped down upon a bench between two trees, and he took his seat at herside. 

"Ralph, " began she, with a visible effort, "I hardly know what to say toyou; but there is something which I must tell you--my father wishes youto leave us at once. "

"And _you_, Bertha?"

"Well--yes--I wish it too. "

She saw the painful shock which her words gave him, and she strove hardto speak. Her lips trembled, her eyes became suffused with tears, whichgrew and grew, but never fell; she could not utter a word. 

"Well, Bertha, " answered he, with a little quiver in his voice, "if you, too, wish me to go, I shall not tarry. Good-by. "

He rose quickly, and, with averted face, held out his hand to her; butas she made no motion to grasp the hand, he began distractedly to buttonhis coat, and moved slowly away. 

"Ralph. "

He turned sharply, and, before he knew it, she lay sobbing upon hisbreast. 

"Ralph, " she murmured, while the tears almost choked her words, "I couldnot have you leave me thus. It is hard enough--it is hard enough--"

"What is hard, beloved?"

She raised her head abruptly, and turned upon him a gaze full of hopeand doubt, and sweet perplexity. 

"Ah, no, you do not love me, " she whispered, sadly. 

"Why should I come to seek you, after these many years, dearest, if Idid not wish to make you my wife before God and men? Why should I--I. "

"Ah, yes, I know, " she interrupted him with a fresh fit of weeping, "youare too good and honest to wish to throw me away, now when you have seenhow my soul has hungered for the sight of you these many years, how evennow I cling to you with a despairing clutch. But you can not disguiseyourself, Ralph, and I saw from the first moment that you loved me nomore. "

"Do not be such an unreasonable child, " he remonstrated, feebly. "I donot love you with the wild, irrational passion of former years; but Ihave the tenderest regard for you, and my heart warms at the sight ofyour sweet face, and I shall do all in my power to make you as happy asany man can make you who--"

"Who does not love me, " she finished. 

A sudden shudder seemed to shake her whole frame, and she drew herselfmore tightly up to him. 

"Ah, no, " she continued, after a while, sinking back upon her seat. "It is a hopeless thing to compel a reluctant heart. I will accept nosacrifice from you. You owe me nothing, for you have acted toward mehonestly and uprightly, and I shall be a stronger or--at least--a betterwoman for what you gave me--and--for what you could not give me, eventhough you would. "

"But, Bertha, " exclaimed he, looking mournfully at her, "it is not truewhen you say that I owe you nothing. Six years ago, when first I wooedyou, you could not return my love, and you sent me out into the world, and even refused to accept any pledge or promise for the future. "

"And you returned, " she responded, "a man, such as my hope had picturedyou; but, while I had almost been standing still, you had outgrown meand outgrown your old self, and, with your old self, outgrown its lovefor me, for your love was not of your new self, but of the old. Alas! itis a sad tale, but it is true. "

She spoke gravely now, and with a steadier voice, but her eyes hung uponhis face with an eager look of expectation, as if yearning to detectthere some gleam of hope, some contradiction of the dismal truth. Heread that look aright and it pierced him like a sharp sword. He made abrave effort to respond to its appeal, but his features seemed hard asstone, and he could only cry out against his destiny, and bewail hismisfortune and hers. 

Toward evening, Ralph was sitting in an open boat, listening to themeasured oar-strokes of the boatmen who were rowing him out to thenearest stopping-place of the steamer. The mountains lifted their greatplacid heads up among the sun-bathed clouds, and the fjord opened itscool depths as if to make room for their vast reflections. Ralph felt asif he were floating in the midst of the blue infinite space, and, withthe strength which this feeling inspired, he tried to face boldly thethought from which he had but a moment ago shrunk as from somethinghopelessly sad and perplexing. 

And in that hour he looked fearlessly into the gulf which separates theNew World from the Old. He had hoped to bridge it; but, alas! it can notbe bridged.