A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT by MARK TWAIN (Samuel L. Clemens) Part 6. CHAPTER XXVII THE YANKEE AND THE KING TRAVEL INCOGNITO About bedtime I took the king to my private quarters to cut hishair and help him get the hang of the lowly raiment he was to wear. The high classes wore their hair banged across the forehead buthanging to the shoulders the rest of the way around, whereas thelowest ranks of commoners were banged fore and aft both; the slaveswere bangless, and allowed their hair free growth. So I inverteda bowl over his head and cut away all the locks that hung below it. I also trimmed his whiskers and mustache until they were onlyabout a half-inch long; and tried to do it inartistically, andsucceeded. It was a villainous disfigurement. When he got hislubberly sandals on, and his long robe of coarse brown linen cloth, which hung straight from his neck to his ankle-bones, he was nolonger the comeliest man in his kingdom, but one of the unhandsomestand most commonplace and unattractive. We were dressed and barberedalike, and could pass for small farmers, or farm bailiffs, orshepherds, or carters; yes, or for village artisans, if we chose, our costume being in effect universal among the poor, because ofits strength and cheapness. I don't mean that it was really cheapto a very poor person, but I do mean that it was the cheapestmaterial there was for male attire--manufactured material, youunderstand. We slipped away an hour before dawn, and by broad sun-up had madeeight or ten miles, and were in the midst of a sparsely settledcountry. I had a pretty heavy knapsack; it was laden withprovisions--provisions for the king to taper down on, till hecould take to the coarse fare of the country without damage. I found a comfortable seat for the king by the roadside, and thengave him a morsel or two to stay his stomach with. Then I saidI would find some water for him, and strolled away. Part of myproject was to get out of sight and sit down and rest a littlemyself. It had always been my custom to stand when in his presence;even at the council board, except upon those rare occasions whenthe sitting was a very long one, extending over hours; then I hada trifling little backless thing which was like a reversed culvertand was as comfortable as the toothache. I didn't want to breakhim in suddenly, but do it by degrees. We should have to sittogether now when in company, or people would notice; but it wouldnot be good politics for me to be playing equality with him whenthere was no necessity for it. I found the water some three hundred yards away, and had beenresting about twenty minutes, when I heard voices. That is allright, I thought--peasants going to work; nobody else likely to bestirring this early. But the next moment these comers jingled intosight around a turn of the road--smartly clad people of quality, with luggage-mules and servants in their train! I was off likea shot, through the bushes, by the shortest cut. For a while itdid seem that these people would pass the king before I couldget to him; but desperation gives you wings, you know, and I cantedmy body forward, inflated my breast, and held my breath and flew. I arrived. And in plenty good enough time, too. "Pardon, my king, but it's no time for ceremony--jump! Jump toyour feet--some quality are coming!" "Is that a marvel? Let them come. " "But my liege! You must not be seen sitting. Rise!--and stand inhumble posture while they pass. You are a peasant, you know. " "True--I had forgot it, so lost was I in planning of a huge warwith Gaul"--he was up by this time, but a farm could have got upquicker, if there was any kind of a boom in real estate--"andright-so a thought came randoming overthwart this majestic dreamthe which--" "A humbler attitude, my lord the king--and quick! Duck your head!--more!--still more!--droop it!" He did his honest best, but lord, it was no great things. He lookedas humble as the leaning tower at Pisa. It is the most you couldsay of it. Indeed, it was such a thundering poor success thatit raised wondering scowls all along the line, and a gorgeousflunkey at the tail end of it raised his whip; but I jumped intime and was under it when it fell; and under cover of the volleyof coarse laughter which followed, I spoke up sharply and warnedthe king to take no notice. He mastered himself for the moment, but it was a sore tax; he wanted to eat up the procession. I said: "It would end our adventures at the very start; and we, beingwithout weapons, could do nothing with that armed gang. If weare going to succeed in our emprise, we must not only look thepeasant but act the peasant. " "It is wisdom; none can gainsay it. Let us go on, Sir Boss. I will take note and learn, and do the best I may. " He kept his word. He did the best he could, but I've seen better. If you have ever seen an active, heedless, enterprising childgoing diligently out of one mischief and into another all daylong, and an anxious mother at its heels all the while, and justsaving it by a hair from drowning itself or breaking its neck witheach new experiment, you've seen the king and me. If I could have foreseen what the thing was going to be like, I should have said, No, if anybody wants to make his livingexhibiting a king as a peasant, let him take the layout; I cando better with a menagerie, and last longer. And yet, duringthe first three days I never allowed him to enter a hut or otherdwelling. If he could pass muster anywhere during his earlynovitiate it would be in small inns and on the road; so to theseplaces we confined ourselves. Yes, he certainly did the best hecould, but what of that? He didn't improve a bit that I could see. He was always frightening me, always breaking out with freshastonishers, in new and unexpected places. Toward evening onthe second day, what does he do but blandly fetch out a dirkfrom inside his robe! "Great guns, my liege, where did you get that?" "From a smuggler at the inn, yester eve. " "What in the world possessed you to buy it?" "We have escaped divers dangers by wit--thy wit--but I havebethought me that it were but prudence if I bore a weapon, too. Thine might fail thee in some pinch. " "But people of our condition are not allowed to carry arms. Whatwould a lord say--yes, or any other person of whatever condition--if he caught an upstart peasant with a dagger on his person?" It was a lucky thing for us that nobody came along just then. I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy aspersuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killingitself. We walked along, silent and thinking. Finally the king said: "When ye know that I meditate a thing inconvenient, or that hatha peril in it, why do you not warn me to cease from that project?" It was a startling question, and a puzzler. I didn't quite knowhow to take hold of it, or what to say, and so, of course, I endedby saying the natural thing: "But, sire, how can I know what your thoughts are?" The king stopped dead in his tracks, and stared at me. "I believed thou wert greater than Merlin; and truly in magicthou art. But prophecy is greater than magic. Merlin is a prophet. " I saw I had made a blunder. I must get back my lost ground. After a deep reflection and careful planning, I said: "Sire, I have been misunderstood. I will explain. There are twokinds of prophecy. One is the gift to foretell things that are buta little way off, the other is the gift to foretell things thatare whole ages and centuries away. Which is the mightier gift, do you think?" "Oh, the last, most surely!" "True. Does Merlin possess it?" "Partly, yes. He foretold mysteries about my birth and futurekingship that were twenty years away. " "Has he ever gone beyond that?" "He would not claim more, I think. " "It is probably his limit. All prophets have their limit. The limitof some of the great prophets has been a hundred years. " "These are few, I ween. " "There have been two still greater ones, whose limit was fourhundred and six hundred years, and one whose limit compassedeven seven hundred and twenty. " "Gramercy, it is marvelous!" "But what are these in comparison with me? They are nothing. " "What? Canst thou truly look beyond even so vast a stretchof time as--" "Seven hundred years? My liege, as clear as the vision of an eagledoes my prophetic eye penetrate and lay bare the future of thisworld for nearly thirteen centuries and a half!" My land, you should have seen the king's eyes spread slowly open, and lift the earth's entire atmosphere as much as an inch! Thatsettled Brer Merlin. One never had any occasion to prove hisfacts, with these people; all he had to do was to state them. Itnever occurred to anybody to doubt the statement. "Now, then, " I continued, "I _could_ work both kinds of prophecy--the long and the short--if I chose to take the trouble to keepin practice; but I seldom exercise any but the long kind, becausethe other is beneath my dignity. It is properer to Merlin's sort--stump-tail prophets, as we call them in the profession. Of course, I whet up now and then and flirt out a minor prophecy, but notoften--hardly ever, in fact. You will remember that there wasgreat talk, when you reached the Valley of Holiness, about myhaving prophesied your coming and the very hour of your arrival, two or three days beforehand. " "Indeed, yes, I mind it now. " "Well, I could have done it as much as forty times easier, andpiled on a thousand times more detail into the bargain, if it hadbeen five hundred years away instead of two or three days. " "How amazing that it should be so!" "Yes, a genuine expert can always foretell a thing that is fivehundred years away easier than he can a thing that's only fivehundred seconds off. " "And yet in reason it should clearly be the other way; it shouldbe five hundred times as easy to foretell the last as the first, for, indeed, it is so close by that one uninspired might almostsee it. In truth, the law of prophecy doth contradict the likelihoods, most strangely making the difficult easy, and the easy difficult. " It was a wise head. A peasant's cap was no safe disguise for it;you could know it for a king's under a diving-bell, if you couldhear it work its intellect. I had a new trade now, and plenty of business in it. The kingwas as hungry to find out everything that was going to happenduring the next thirteen centuries as if he were expecting to livein them. From that time out, I prophesied myself bald-headedtrying to supply the demand. I have done some indiscreet things inmy day, but this thing of playing myself for a prophet was theworst. Still, it had its ameliorations. A prophet doesn't haveto have any brains. They are good to have, of course, for theordinary exigencies of life, but they are no use in professionalwork. It is the restfulest vocation there is. When the spirit ofprophecy comes upon you, you merely cake your intellect and lay itoff in a cool place for a rest, and unship your jaw and leave italone; it will work itself: the result is prophecy. Every day a knight-errant or so came along, and the sight of themfired the king's martial spirit every time. He would have forgottenhimself, sure, and said something to them in a style a suspiciousshade or so above his ostensible degree, and so I always got himwell out of the road in time. Then he would stand and look withall his eyes; and a proud light would flash from them, and hisnostrils would inflate like a war-horse's, and I knew he waslonging for a brush with them. But about noon of the third dayI had stopped in the road to take a precaution which had beensuggested by the whip-stroke that had fallen to my share two daysbefore; a precaution which I had afterward decided to leave untaken, I was so loath to institute it; but now I had just had a freshreminder: while striding heedlessly along, with jaw spread andintellect at rest, for I was prophesying, I stubbed my toe andfell sprawling. I was so pale I couldn't think for a moment;then I got softly and carefully up and unstrapped my knapsack. I had that dynamite bomb in it, done up in wool in a box. It wasa good thing to have along; the time would come when I could doa valuable miracle with it, maybe, but it was a nervous thingto have about me, and I didn't like to ask the king to carry it. Yet I must either throw it away or think up some safe way to getalong with its society. I got it out and slipped it into my scrip, and just then here came a couple of knights. The king stood, stately as a statue, gazing toward them--had forgotten himself again, of course--and before I could get a word of warning out, it wastime for him to skip, and well that he did it, too. He supposedthey would turn aside. Turn aside to avoid trampling peasant dirtunder foot? When had he ever turned aside himself--or ever hadthe chance to do it, if a peasant saw him or any other noble knightin time to judiciously save him the trouble? The knights paidno attention to the king at all; it was his place to look outhimself, and if he hadn't skipped he would have been placidlyridden down, and laughed at besides. The king was in a flaming fury, and launched out his challengeand epithets with a most royal vigor. The knights were some littledistance by now. They halted, greatly surprised, and turned intheir saddles and looked back, as if wondering if it might be worthwhile to bother with such scum as we. Then they wheeled andstarted for us. Not a moment must be lost. I started for _them_. I passed them at a rattling gait, and as I went by I flung out ahair-lifting soul-scorching thirteen-jointed insult which madethe king's effort poor and cheap by comparison. I got it out ofthe nineteenth century where they know how. They had such headwaythat they were nearly to the king before they could check up;then, frantic with rage, they stood up their horses on their hindhoofs and whirled them around, and the next moment here they came, breast to breast. I was seventy yards off, then, and scrambling upa great bowlder at the roadside. When they were within thirtyyards of me they let their long lances droop to a level, depressedtheir mailed heads, and so, with their horse-hair plumes streamingstraight out behind, most gallant to see, this lightning expresscame tearing for me! When they were within fifteen yards, I sentthat bomb with a sure aim, and it struck the ground just underthe horses' noses. Yes, it was a neat thing, very neat and pretty to see. It resembleda steamboat explosion on the Mississippi; and during the nextfifteen minutes we stood under a steady drizzle of microscopicfragments of knights and hardware and horse-flesh. I say we, for the king joined the audience, of course, as soon as he had gothis breath again. There was a hole there which would afford steadywork for all the people in that region for some years to come--in trying to explain it, I mean; as for filling it up, that servicewould be comparatively prompt, and would fall to the lot of aselect few--peasants of that seignory; and they wouldn't getanything for it, either. But I explained it to the king myself. I said it was done with adynamite bomb. This information did him no damage, because itleft him as intelligent as he was before. However, it was a noblemiracle, in his eyes, and was another settler for Merlin. I thoughtit well enough to explain that this was a miracle of so rare a sortthat it couldn't be done except when the atmospheric conditionswere just right. Otherwise he would be encoring it every time wehad a good subject, and that would be inconvenient, because Ihadn't any more bombs along. CHAPTER XXVIII DRILLING THE KING On the morning of the fourth day, when it was just sunrise, and wehad been tramping an hour in the chill dawn, I came to a resolution:the king _must_ be drilled; things could not go on so, he must betaken in hand and deliberately and conscientiously drilled, or wecouldn't ever venture to enter a dwelling; the very cats would knowthis masquerader for a humbug and no peasant. So I called a haltand said: "Sire, as between clothes and countenance, you are all right, thereis no discrepancy; but as between your clothes and your bearing, you are all wrong, there is a most noticeable discrepancy. Yoursoldierly stride, your lordly port--these will not do. You standtoo straight, your looks are too high, too confident. The caresof a kingdom do not stoop the shoulders, they do not droop the chin, they do not depress the high level of the eye-glance, they do notput doubt and fear in the heart and hang out the signs of themin slouching body and unsure step. It is the sordid cares ofthe lowly born that do these things. You must learn the trick;you must imitate the trademarks of poverty, misery, oppression, insult, and the other several and common inhumanities that sapthe manliness out of a man and make him a loyal and proper andapproved subject and a satisfaction to his masters, or the veryinfants will know you for better than your disguise, and we shall goto pieces at the first hut we stop at. Pray try to walk like this. " The king took careful note, and then tried an imitation. "Pretty fair--pretty fair. Chin a little lower, please--there, verygood. Eyes too high; pray don't look at the horizon, look at theground, ten steps in front of you. Ah--that is better, that isvery good. Wait, please; you betray too much vigor, too muchdecision; you want more of a shamble. Look at me, please--this iswhat I mean.... Now you are getting it; that is the idea--at least, it sort of approaches it.... Yes, that is pretty fair. _But!_There is a great big something wanting, I don't quite know whatit is. Please walk thirty yards, so that I can get a perspectiveon the thing.... Now, then--your head's right, speed's right, shoulders right, eyes right, chin right, gait, carriage, generalstyle right--everything's right! And yet the fact remains, theaggregate's wrong. The account don't balance. Do it again, please.... _Now_ I think I begin to see what it is. Yes, I'vestruck it. You see, the genuine spiritlessness is wanting; that'swhat's the trouble. It's all _amateur_--mechanical details allright, almost to a hair; everything about the delusion perfect, except that it don't delude. " "What, then, must one do, to prevail?" "Let me think... I can't seem to quite get at it. In fact, thereisn't anything that can right the matter but practice. This isa good place for it: roots and stony ground to break up yourstately gait, a region not liable to interruption, only one fieldand one hut in sight, and they so far away that nobody couldsee us from there. It will be well to move a little off the roadand put in the whole day drilling you, sire. " After the drill had gone on a little while, I said: "Now, sire, imagine that we are at the door of the hut yonder, and the family are before us. Proceed, please--accost the headof the house. " The king unconsciously straightened up like a monument, and said, with frozen austerity: "Varlet, bring a seat; and serve to me what cheer ye have. " "Ah, your grace, that is not well done. " "In what lacketh it?" "These people do not call _each other_ varlets. " "Nay, is that true?" "Yes; only those above them call them so. " "Then must I try again. I will call him villein. " "No-no; for he may be a freeman. " "Ah--so. Then peradventure I should call him goodman. " "That would answer, your grace, but it would be still better ifyou said friend, or brother. " "Brother!--to dirt like that?" "Ah, but _we_ are pretending to be dirt like that, too. " "It is even true. I will say it. Brother, bring a seat, andthereto what cheer ye have, withal. Now 'tis right. " "Not quite, not wholly right. You have asked for one, not _us_--for one, not both; food for one, a seat for one. " The king looked puzzled--he wasn't a very heavy weight, intellectually. His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to doit a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once. "Would _you_ have a seat also--and sit?" "If I did not sit, the man would perceive that we were only pretendingto be equals--and playing the deception pretty poorly, too. " "It is well and truly said! How wonderful is truth, come it inwhatsoever unexpected form it may! Yes, he must bring out seatsand food for both, and in serving us present not ewer and napkinwith more show of respect to the one than to the other. " "And there is even yet a detail that needs correcting. He mustbring nothing outside; we will go in--in among the dirt, andpossibly other repulsive things, --and take the food with thehousehold, and after the fashion of the house, and all on equalterms, except the man be of the serf class; and finally, therewill be no ewer and no napkin, whether he be serf or free. Pleasewalk again, my liege. There--it is better--it is the best yet;but not perfect. The shoulders have known no ignobler burdenthan iron mail, and they will not stoop. " "Give me, then, the bag. I will learn the spirit that goethwith burdens that have not honor. It is the spirit that stoopeththe shoulders, I ween, and not the weight; for armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.... Nay, but me no buts, offer me no objections. I will have the thing. Strap it upon my back. " He was complete now with that knapsack on, and looked as littlelike a king as any man I had ever seen. But it was an obstinatepair of shoulders; they could not seem to learn the trick ofstooping with any sort of deceptive naturalness. The drill went on, I prompting and correcting: "Now, make believe you are in debt, and eaten up by relentlesscreditors; you are out of work--which is horse-shoeing, let ussay--and can get none; and your wife is sick, your children arecrying because they are hungry--" And so on, and so on. I drilled him as representing in turn allsorts of people out of luck and suffering dire privations andmisfortunes. But lord, it was only just words, words--they meantnothing in the world to him, I might just as well have whistled. Words realize nothing, vivify nothing to you, unless you havesuffered in your own person the thing which the words try todescribe. There are wise people who talk ever so knowingly andcomplacently about "the working classes, " and satisfy themselvesthat a day's hard intellectual work is very much harder thana day's hard manual toil, and is righteously entitled to muchbigger pay. Why, they really think that, you know, because theyknow all about the one, but haven't tried the other. But I knowall about both; and so far as I am concerned, there isn't moneyenough in the universe to hire me to swing a pickaxe thirty days, but I will do the hardest kind of intellectual work for just asnear nothing as you can cipher it down--and I will be satisfied, too. Intellectual "work" is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. The poorest paid architect, engineer, general, author, sculptor, painter, lecturer, advocate, legislator, actor, preacher, singer is constructively in heavenwhen he is at work; and as for the musician with the fiddle-bowin his hand who sits in the midst of a great orchestra with theebbing and flowing tides of divine sound washing over him--why, certainly, he is at work, if you wish to call it that, but lord, it's a sarcasm just the same. The law of work does seem utterlyunfair--but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higherthe pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shallbe his pay in cash, also. And it's also the very law of thosetransparent swindles, transmissible nobility and kingship. CHAPTER XXIX THE SMALLPOX HUT When we arrived at that hut at mid-afternoon, we saw no signsof life about it. The field near by had been denuded of its cropsome time before, and had a skinned look, so exhaustively hadit been harvested and gleaned. Fences, sheds, everything had aruined look, and were eloquent of poverty. No animal was aroundanywhere, no living thing in sight. The stillness was awful, itwas like the stillness of death. The cabin was a one-story one, whose thatch was black with age, and ragged from lack of repair. The door stood a trifle ajar. We approached it stealthily--on tiptoeand at half-breath--for that is the way one's feeling makes him do, at such a time. The king knocked. We waited. No answer. Knockedagain. No answer. I pushed the door softly open and looked in. I made out some dim forms, and a woman started up from the groundand stared at me, as one does who is wakened from sleep. Presentlyshe found her voice: "Have mercy!" she pleaded. "All is taken, nothing is left. " "I have not come to take anything, poor woman. " "You are not a priest?" "No. " "Nor come not from the lord of the manor?" "No, I am a stranger. " "Oh, then, for the fear of God, who visits with misery and deathsuch as be harmless, tarry not here, but fly! This place is underhis curse--and his Church's. " "Let me come in and help you--you are sick and in trouble. " I was better used to the dim light now. I could see her holloweyes fixed upon me. I could see how emaciated she was. "I tell you the place is under the Church's ban. Save yourself--and go, before some straggler see thee here, and report it. " "Give yourself no trouble about me; I don't care anything for theChurch's curse. Let me help you. " "Now all good spirits--if there be any such--bless thee for thatword. Would God I had a sup of water!--but hold, hold, forgetI said it, and fly; for there is that here that even he thatfeareth not the Church must fear: this disease whereof we die. Leave us, thou brave, good stranger, and take with thee suchwhole and sincere blessing as them that be accursed can give. " But before this I had picked up a wooden bowl and was rushingpast the king on my way to the brook. It was ten yards away. When I got back and entered, the king was within, and was openingthe shutter that closed the window-hole, to let in air and light. The place was full of a foul stench. I put the bowl to the woman'slips, and as she gripped it with her eager talons the shutter cameopen and a strong light flooded her face. Smallpox! I sprang to the king, and said in his ear: "Out of the door on the instant, sire! the woman is dying of thatdisease that wasted the skirts of Camelot two years ago. " He did not budge. "Of a truth I shall remain--and likewise help. " I whispered again: "King, it must not be. You must go. " "Ye mean well, and ye speak not unwisely. But it were shame thata king should know fear, and shame that belted knight shouldwithhold his hand where be such as need succor. Peace, I willnot go. It is you who must go. The Church's ban is not upon me, but it forbiddeth you to be here, and she will deal with you witha heavy hand an word come to her of your trespass. " It was a desperate place for him to be in, and might cost him hislife, but it was no use to argue with him. If he considered hisknightly honor at stake here, that was the end of argument; hewould stay, and nothing could prevent it; I was aware of that. And so I dropped the subject. The woman spoke: "Fair sir, of your kindness will ye climb the ladder there, and bring me news of what ye find? Be not afraid to report, for times can come when even a mother's heart is past breaking--being already broke. " "Abide, " said the king, "and give the woman to eat. I will go. "And he put down the knapsack. I turned to start, but the king had already started. He halted, and looked down upon a man who lay in a dim light, and had notnoticed us thus far, or spoken. "Is it your husband?" the king asked. "Yes. " "Is he asleep?" "God be thanked for that one charity, yes--these three hours. Where shall I pay to the full, my gratitude! for my heart isbursting with it for that sleep he sleepeth now. " I said: "We will be careful. We will not wake him. " "Ah, no, that ye will not, for he is dead. " "Dead?" "Yes, what triumph it is to know it! None can harm him, noneinsult him more. He is in heaven now, and happy; or if not there, he bides in hell and is content; for in that place he will findneither abbot nor yet bishop. We were boy and girl together; wewere man and wife these five and twenty years, and never separatedtill this day. Think how long that is to love and suffer together. This morning was he out of his mind, and in his fancy we wereboy and girl again and wandering in the happy fields; and so inthat innocent glad converse wandered he far and farther, stilllightly gossiping, and entered into those other fields we knownot of, and was shut away from mortal sight. And so there wasno parting, for in his fancy I went with him; he knew not butI went with him, my hand in his--my young soft hand, not thiswithered claw. Ah, yes, to go, and know it not; to separate andknow it not; how could one go peace--fuller than that? It washis reward for a cruel life patiently borne. " There was a slight noise from the direction of the dim corner wherethe ladder was. It was the king descending. I could see that hewas bearing something in one arm, and assisting himself with theother. He came forward into the light; upon his breast lay aslender girl of fifteen. She was but half conscious; she was dyingof smallpox. Here was heroism at its last and loftiest possibility, its utmost summit; this was challenging death in the open fieldunarmed, with all the odds against the challenger, no reward setupon the contest, and no admiring world in silks and cloth of goldto gaze and applaud; and yet the king's bearing was as serenelybrave as it had always been in those cheaper contests where knightmeets knight in equal fight and clothed in protecting steel. Hewas great now; sublimely great. The rude statues of his ancestorsin his palace should have an addition--I would see to that; and itwould not be a mailed king killing a giant or a dragon, like therest, it would be a king in commoner's garb bearing death in hisarms that a peasant mother might look her last upon her child andbe comforted. He laid the girl down by her mother, who poured out endearmentsand caresses from an overflowing heart, and one could detect aflickering faint light of response in the child's eyes, but thatwas all. The mother hung over her, kissing her, petting her, andimploring her to speak, but the lips only moved and no sound came. I snatched my liquor flask from my knapsack, but the woman forbademe, and said: "No--she does not suffer; it is better so. It might bring her backto life. None that be so good and kind as ye are would do herthat cruel hurt. For look you--what is left to live for? Herbrothers are gone, her father is gone, her mother goeth, theChurch's curse is upon her, and none may shelter or befriend hereven though she lay perishing in the road. She is desolate. I havenot asked you, good heart, if her sister be still on live, hereoverhead; I had no need; ye had gone back, else, and not leftthe poor thing forsaken--" "She lieth at peace, " interrupted the king, in a subdued voice. "I would not change it. How rich is this day in happiness! Ah, my Annis, thou shalt join thy sister soon--thou'rt on thy way, and these be merciful friends that will not hinder. " And so she fell to murmuring and cooing over the girl again, andsoftly stroking her face and hair, and kissing her and calling herby endearing names; but there was scarcely sign of response nowin the glazing eyes. I saw tears well from the king's eyes, andtrickle down his face. The woman noticed them, too, and said: "Ah, I know that sign: thou'st a wife at home, poor soul, andyou and she have gone hungry to bed, many's the time, that thelittle ones might have your crust; you know what poverty is, andthe daily insults of your betters, and the heavy hand of the Churchand the king. " The king winced under this accidental home-shot, but kept still;he was learning his part; and he was playing it well, too, fora pretty dull beginner. I struck up a diversion. I offered thewoman food and liquor, but she refused both. She would allownothing to come between her and the release of death. Then I slippedaway and brought the dead child from aloft, and laid it by her. This broke her down again, and there was another scene that wasfull of heartbreak. By and by I made another diversion, and beguiledher to sketch her story. "Ye know it well yourselves, having suffered it--for truly noneof our condition in Britain escape it. It is the old, weary tale. We fought and struggled and succeeded; meaning by success, thatwe lived and did not die; more than that is not to be claimed. Notroubles came that we could not outlive, till this year broughtthem; then came they all at once, as one might say, and overwhelmedus. Years ago the lord of the manor planted certain fruit trees onour farm; in the best part of it, too--a grievous wrong and shame--" "But it was his right, " interrupted the king. "None denieth that, indeed; an the law mean anything, what isthe lord's is his, and what is mine is his also. Our farm wasours by lease, therefore 'twas likewise his, to do with it as hewould. Some little time ago, three of those trees were found hewndown. Our three grown sons ran frightened to report the crime. Well, in his lordship's dungeon there they lie, who saith thereshall they lie and rot till they confess. They have naught toconfess, being innocent, wherefore there will they remain untilthey die. Ye know that right well, I ween. Think how this left us;a man, a woman and two children, to gather a crop that was plantedby so much greater force, yes, and protect it night and day frompigeons and prowling animals that be sacred and must not be hurtby any of our sort. When my lord's crop was nearly ready forthe harvest, so also was ours; when his bell rang to call us tohis fields to harvest his crop for nothing, he would not allow thatI and my two girls should count for our three captive sons, butfor only two of them; so, for the lacking one were we daily fined. All this time our own crop was perishing through neglect; and soboth the priest and his lordship fined us because their sharesof it were suffering through damage. In the end the fines ate upour crop--and they took it all; they took it all and made us harvestit for them, without pay or food, and we starving. Then the worstcame when I, being out of my mind with hunger and loss of my boys, and grief to see my husband and my little maids in rags and miseryand despair, uttered a deep blasphemy--oh! a thousand of them!--against the Church and the Church's ways. It was ten days ago. I had fallen sick with this disease, and it was to the priestI said the words, for he was come to chide me for lack of duehumility under the chastening hand of God. He carried my trespassto his betters; I was stubborn; wherefore, presently upon my headand upon all heads that were dear to me, fell the curse of Rome. "Since that day we are avoided, shunned with horror. None hascome near this hut to know whether we live or not. The rest of uswere taken down. Then I roused me and got up, as wife and motherwill. It was little they could have eaten in any case; it wasless than little they had to eat. But there was water, and I gavethem that. How they craved it! and how they blessed it! But theend came yesterday; my strength broke down. Yesterday was thelast time I ever saw my husband and this youngest child alive. I have lain here all these hours--these ages, ye may say--listening, listening for any sound up there that--" She gave a sharp quick glance at her eldest daughter, then criedout, "Oh, my darling!" and feebly gathered the stiffening formto her sheltering arms. She had recognized the death-rattle. CHAPTER XXX THE TRAGEDY OF THE MANOR-HOUSE At midnight all was over, and we sat in the presence of fourcorpses. We covered them with such rags as we could find, andstarted away, fastening the door behind us. Their home must bethese people's grave, for they could not have Christian burial, or be admitted to consecrated ground. They were as dogs, wildbeasts, lepers, and no soul that valued its hope of eternal lifewould throw it away by meddling in any sort with these rebuked andsmitten outcasts. We had not moved four steps when I caught a sound as of footstepsupon gravel. My heart flew to my throat. We must not be seencoming from that house. I plucked at the king's robe and we drewback and took shelter behind the corner of the cabin. "Now we are safe, " I said, "but it was a close call--so to speak. If the night had been lighter he might have seen us, no doubt, he seemed to be so near. " "Mayhap it is but a beast and not a man at all. " "True. But man or beast, it will be wise to stay here a minuteand let it get by and out of the way. " "Hark! It cometh hither. " True again. The step was coming toward us--straight toward the hut. It must be a beast, then, and we might as well have saved ourtrepidation. I was going to step out, but the king laid his handupon my arm. There was a moment of silence, then we heard a softknock on the cabin door. It made me shiver. Presently the knockwas repeated, and then we heard these words in a guarded voice: "Mother! Father! Open--we have got free, and we bring news topale your cheeks but glad your hearts; and we may not tarry, butmust fly! And--but they answer not. Mother! father!--" I drew the king toward the other end of the hut and whispered: "Come--now we can get to the road. " The king hesitated, was going to demur; but just then we heardthe door give way, and knew that those desolate men were in thepresence of their dead. "Come, my liege! in a moment they will strike a light, and thenwill follow that which it would break your heart to hear. " He did not hesitate this time. The moment we were in the roadI ran; and after a moment he threw dignity aside and followed. I did not want to think of what was happening in the hut--I couldn'tbear it; I wanted to drive it out of my mind; so I struck into thefirst subject that lay under that one in my mind: "I have had the disease those people died of, and so have nothingto fear; but if you have not had it also--" He broke in upon me to say he was in trouble, and it was hisconscience that was troubling him: "These young men have got free, they say--but _how_? It is notlikely that their lord hath set them free. " "Oh, no, I make no doubt they escaped. " "That is my trouble; I have a fear that this is so, and yoursuspicion doth confirm it, you having the same fear. " "I should not call it by that name though. I do suspect that theyescaped, but if they did, I am not sorry, certainly. " "I am not sorry, I _think_--but--" "What is it? What is there for one to be troubled about?" "_If_ they did escape, then are we bound in duty to lay hands uponthem and deliver them again to their lord; for it is not seemlythat one of his quality should suffer a so insolent and high-handedoutrage from persons of their base degree. " There it was again. He could see only one side of it. He wasborn so, educated so, his veins were full of ancestral blood thatwas rotten with this sort of unconscious brutality, brought downby inheritance from a long procession of hearts that had each doneits share toward poisoning the stream. To imprison these menwithout proof, and starve their kindred, was no harm, for they weremerely peasants and subject to the will and pleasure of their lord, no matter what fearful form it might take; but for these men tobreak out of unjust captivity was insult and outrage, and a thingnot to be countenanced by any conscientious person who knew hisduty to his sacred caste. I worked more than half an hour before I got him to change thesubject--and even then an outside matter did it for me. This wasa something which caught our eyes as we struck the summit of asmall hill--a red glow, a good way off. "That's a fire, " said I. Fires interested me considerably, because I was getting a gooddeal of an insurance business started, and was also training somehorses and building some steam fire-engines, with an eye to a paidfire department by and by. The priests opposed both my fire andlife insurance, on the ground that it was an insolent attempt tohinder the decrees of God; and if you pointed out that they did nothinder the decrees in the least, but only modified the hardconsequences of them if you took out policies and had luck, theyretorted that that was gambling against the decrees of God, and wasjust as bad. So they managed to damage those industries moreor less, but I got even on my Accident business. As a rule, a knightis a lummox, and some times even a labrick, and hence open to prettypoor arguments when they come glibly from a superstition-monger, but even _he_ could see the practical side of a thing once in a while;and so of late you couldn't clean up a tournament and pile theresult without finding one of my accident-tickets in every helmet. We stood there awhile, in the thick darkness and stillness, lookingtoward the red blur in the distance, and trying to make out themeaning of a far-away murmur that rose and fell fitfully on thenight. Sometimes it swelled up and for a moment seemed lessremote; but when we were hopefully expecting it to betray its causeand nature, it dulled and sank again, carrying its mystery with it. We started down the hill in its direction, and the winding roadplunged us at once into almost solid darkness--darkness that waspacked and crammed in between two tall forest walls. We gropedalong down for half a mile, perhaps, that murmur growing more andmore distinct all the time. The coming storm threatening more andmore, with now and then a little shiver of wind, a faint show oflightning, and dull grumblings of distant thunder. I was in thelead. I ran against something--a soft heavy something which gave, slightly, to the impulse of my weight; at the same moment thelightning glared out, and within a foot of my face was the writhingface of a man who was hanging from the limb of a tree! That is, it seemed to be writhing, but it was not. It was a grewsome sight. Straightway there was an ear-splitting explosion of thunder, andthe bottom of heaven fell out; the rain poured down in a deluge. No matter, we must try to cut this man down, on the chance thatthere might be life in him yet, mustn't we? The lightning camequick and sharp now, and the place was alternately noonday andmidnight. One moment the man would be hanging before me in anintense light, and the next he was blotted out again in the darkness. I told the king we must cut him down. The king at once objected. "If he hanged himself, he was willing to lose him property tohis lord; so let him be. If others hanged him, belike they hadthe right--let him hang. " "But--" "But me no buts, but even leave him as he is. And for yet anotherreason. When the lightning cometh again--there, look abroad. " Two others hanging, within fifty yards of us! "It is not weather meet for doing useless courtesies unto dead folk. They are past thanking you. Come--it is unprofitable to tarry here. " There was reason in what he said, so we moved on. Within the nextmile we counted six more hanging forms by the blaze of the lightning, and altogether it was a grisly excursion. That murmur was a murmurno longer, it was a roar; a roar of men's voices. A man came flyingby now, dimly through the darkness, and other men chasing him. They disappeared. Presently another case of the kind occurred, and then another and another. Then a sudden turn of the roadbrought us in sight of that fire--it was a large manor-house, andlittle or nothing was left of it--and everywhere men were flyingand other men raging after them in pursuit. I warned the king that this was not a safe place for strangers. We would better get away from the light, until matters shouldimprove. We stepped back a little, and hid in the edge of thewood. From this hiding-place we saw both men and women huntedby the mob. The fearful work went on until nearly dawn. Then, the fire being out and the storm spent, the voices and flyingfootsteps presently ceased, and darkness and stillness reigned again. We ventured out, and hurried cautiously away; and although we wereworn out and sleepy, we kept on until we had put this place somemiles behind us. Then we asked hospitality at the hut of a charcoalburner, and got what was to be had. A woman was up and about, butthe man was still asleep, on a straw shake-down, on the clay floor. The woman seemed uneasy until I explained that we were travelersand had lost our way and been wandering in the woods all night. She became talkative, then, and asked if we had heard of theterrible goings-on at the manor-house of Abblasoure. Yes, we hadheard of them, but what we wanted now was rest and sleep. Theking broke in: "Sell us the house and take yourselves away, for we be perilouscompany, being late come from people that died of the Spotted Death. " It was good of him, but unnecessary. One of the commonest decorationsof the nation was the waffle-iron face. I had early noticed thatthe woman and her husband were both so decorated. She made usentirely welcome, and had no fears; and plainly she was immenselyimpressed by the king's proposition; for, of course, it was a gooddeal of an event in her life to run across a person of the king'shumble appearance who was ready to buy a man's house for the sakeof a night's lodging. It gave her a large respect for us, and shestrained the lean possibilities of her hovel to the utmost to makeus comfortable. We slept till far into the afternoon, and then got up hungry enough tomake cotter fare quite palatable to the king, the more particularlyas it was scant in quantity. And also in variety; it consistedsolely of onions, salt, and the national black bread made out ofhorse-feed. The woman told us about the affair of the eveningbefore. At ten or eleven at night, when everybody was in bed, the manor-house burst into flames. The country-side swarmed tothe rescue, and the family were saved, with one exception, themaster. He did not appear. Everybody was frantic over this loss, and two brave yeomen sacrificed their lives in ransacking theburning house seeking that valuable personage. But after a whilehe was found--what was left of him--which was his corpse. It wasin a copse three hundred yards away, bound, gagged, stabbed in adozen places. Who had done this? Suspicion fell upon a humble family in theneighborhood who had been lately treated with peculiar harshnessby the baron; and from these people the suspicion easily extendeditself to their relatives and familiars. A suspicion was enough;my lord's liveried retainers proclaimed an instant crusade againstthese people, and were promptly joined by the community in general. The woman's husband had been active with the mob, and had notreturned home until nearly dawn. He was gone now to find outwhat the general result had been. While we were still talking hecame back from his quest. His report was revolting enough. Eighteenpersons hanged or butchered, and two yeomen and thirteen prisonerslost in the fire. "And how many prisoners were there altogether in the vaults?" "Thirteen. " "Then every one of them was lost?" "Yes, all. " "But the people arrived in time to save the family; how is it theycould save none of the prisoners?" The man looked puzzled, and said: "Would one unlock the vaults at such a time? Marry, some wouldhave escaped. " "Then you mean that nobody _did_ unlock them?" "None went near them, either to lock or unlock. It standeth toreason that the bolts were fast; wherefore it was only needfulto establish a watch, so that if any broke the bonds he might notescape, but be taken. None were taken. " "Natheless, three did escape, " said the king, "and ye will do wellto publish it and set justice upon their track, for these murtheredthe baron and fired the house. " I was just expecting he would come out with that. For a momentthe man and his wife showed an eager interest in this news andan impatience to go out and spread it; then a sudden somethingelse betrayed itself in their faces, and they began to ask questions. I answered the questions myself, and narrowly watched the effectsproduced. I was soon satisfied that the knowledge of who thesethree prisoners were had somehow changed the atmosphere; thatour hosts' continued eagerness to go and spread the news was nowonly pretended and not real. The king did not notice the change, and I was glad of that. I worked the conversation around towardother details of the night's proceedings, and noted that thesepeople were relieved to have it take that direction. The painful thing observable about all this business was thealacrity with which this oppressed community had turned theircruel hands against their own class in the interest of the commonoppressor. This man and woman seemed to feel that in a quarrelbetween a person of their own class and his lord, it was the naturaland proper and rightful thing for that poor devil's whole casteto side with the master and fight his battle for him, without everstopping to inquire into the rights or wrongs of the matter. Thisman had been out helping to hang his neighbors, and had done hiswork with zeal, and yet was aware that there was nothing againstthem but a mere suspicion, with nothing back of it describableas evidence, still neither he nor his wife seemed to see anythinghorrible about it. This was depressing--to a man with the dream of a republic in hishead. It reminded me of a time thirteen centuries away, whenthe "poor whites" of our South who were always despised andfrequently insulted by the slave-lords around them, and who owedtheir base condition simply to the presence of slavery in theirmidst, were yet pusillanimously ready to side with the slave-lordsin all political moves for the upholding and perpetuating ofslavery, and did also finally shoulder their muskets and pour outtheir lives in an effort to prevent the destruction of that veryinstitution which degraded them. And there was only one redeemingfeature connected with that pitiful piece of history; and that was, that secretly the "poor white" did detest the slave-lord, and didfeel his own shame. That feeling was not brought to the surface, but the fact that it was there and could have been brought out, under favoring circumstances, was something--in fact, it was enough;for it showed that a man is at bottom a man, after all, even if itdoesn't show on the outside. Well, as it turned out, this charcoal burner was just the twin ofthe Southern "poor white" of the far future. The king presentlyshowed impatience, and said: "An ye prattle here all the day, justice will miscarry. Think yethe criminals will abide in their father's house? They are fleeing, they are not waiting. You should look to it that a party of horsebe set upon their track. " The woman paled slightly, but quite perceptibly, and the man lookedflustered and irresolute. I said: "Come, friend, I will walk a little way with you, and explain whichdirection I think they would try to take. If they were merelyresisters of the gabelle or some kindred absurdity I would tryto protect them from capture; but when men murder a person ofhigh degree and likewise burn his house, that is another matter. " The last remark was for the king--to quiet him. On the roadthe man pulled his resolution together, and began the march witha steady gait, but there was no eagerness in it. By and by I said: "What relation were these men to you--cousins?" He turned as white as his layer of charcoal would let him, andstopped, trembling. "Ah, my God, how know ye that?" "I didn't know it; it was a chance guess. " "Poor lads, they are lost. And good lads they were, too. " "Were you actually going yonder to tell on them?" He didn't quite know how to take that; but he said, hesitatingly: "Ye-s. " "Then I think you are a damned scoundrel!" It made him as glad as if I had called him an angel. "Say the good words again, brother! for surely ye mean that yewould not betray me an I failed of my duty. " "Duty? There is no duty in the matter, except the duty to keepstill and let those men get away. They've done a righteous deed. " He looked pleased; pleased, and touched with apprehension at thesame time. He looked up and down the road to see that no onewas coming, and then said in a cautious voice: "From what land come you, brother, that you speak such perilouswords, and seem not to be afraid?" "They are not perilous words when spoken to one of my own caste, I take it. You would not tell anybody I said them?" "I? I would be drawn asunder by wild horses first. " "Well, then, let me say my say. I have no fears of your repeatingit. I think devil's work has been done last night upon thoseinnocent poor people. That old baron got only what he deserved. If I had my way, all his kind should have the same luck. " Fear and depression vanished from the man's manner, and gratefulnessand a brave animation took their place: "Even though you be a spy, and your words a trap for my undoing, yet are they such refreshment that to hear them again and otherslike to them, I would go to the gallows happy, as having had onegood feast at least in a starved life. And I will say my say now, and ye may report it if ye be so minded. I helped to hang myneighbors for that it were peril to my own life to show lack ofzeal in the master's cause; the others helped for none other reason. All rejoice to-day that he is dead, but all do go about seeminglysorrowing, and shedding the hypocrite's tear, for in that liessafety. I have said the words, I have said the words! the onlyones that have ever tasted good in my mouth, and the reward ofthat taste is sufficient. Lead on, an ye will, be it even to thescaffold, for I am ready. " There it was, you see. A man is a man, at bottom. Whole agesof abuse and oppression cannot crush the manhood clear out of him. Whoever thinks it a mistake is himself mistaken. Yes, there isplenty good enough material for a republic in the most degradedpeople that ever existed--even the Russians; plenty of manhoodin them--even in the Germans--if one could but force it out ofits timid and suspicious privacy, to overthrow and trample in themud any throne that ever was set up and any nobility that eversupported it. We should see certain things yet, let us hope andbelieve. First, a modified monarchy, till Arthur's days were done, then the destruction of the throne, nobility abolished, everymember of it bound out to some useful trade, universal suffrageinstituted, and the whole government placed in the hands of themen and women of the nation there to remain. Yes, there was nooccasion to give up my dream yet a while. CHAPTER XXXI MARCO We strolled along in a sufficiently indolent fashion now, andtalked. We must dispose of about the amount of time it oughtto take to go to the little hamlet of Abblasoure and put justiceon the track of those murderers and get back home again. Andmeantime I had an auxiliary interest which had never paled yet, never lost its novelty for me since I had been in Arthur's kingdom:the behavior--born of nice and exact subdivisions of caste--of chancepassers-by toward each other. Toward the shaven monk who trudgedalong with his cowl tilted back and the sweat washing down hisfat jowls, the coal-burner was deeply reverent; to the gentlemanhe was abject; with the small farmer and the free mechanic he wascordial and gossipy; and when a slave passed by with a countenancerespectfully lowered, this chap's nose was in the air--he couldn'teven see him. Well, there are times when one would like to hangthe whole human race and finish the farce. Presently we struck an incident. A small mob of half-naked boysand girls came tearing out of the woods, scared and shrieking. The eldest among them were not more than twelve or fourteen yearsold. They implored help, but they were so beside themselves thatwe couldn't make out what the matter was. However, we plungedinto the wood, they skurrying in the lead, and the trouble wasquickly revealed: they had hanged a little fellow with a bark rope, and he was kicking and struggling, in the process of choking todeath. We rescued him, and fetched him around. It was some morehuman nature; the admiring little folk imitating their elders;they were playing mob, and had achieved a success which promisedto be a good deal more serious than they had bargained for. It was not a dull excursion for me. I managed to put in the timevery well. I made various acquaintanceships, and in my qualityof stranger was able to ask as many questions as I wanted to. A thing which naturally interested me, as a statesman, was thematter of wages. I picked up what I could under that head duringthe afternoon. A man who hasn't had much experience, and doesn'tthink, is apt to measure a nation's prosperity or lack of prosperityby the mere size of the prevailing wages; if the wages be high, thenation is prosperous; if low, it isn't. Which is an error. Itisn't what sum you get, it's how much you can buy with it, that'sthe important thing; and it's that that tells whether your wagesare high in fact or only high in name. I could remember how itwas in the time of our great civil war in the nineteenth century. In the North a carpenter got three dollars a day, gold valuation;in the South he got fifty--payable in Confederate shinplastersworth a dollar a bushel. In the North a suit of overalls costthree dollars--a day's wages; in the South it cost seventy-five--which was two days' wages. Other things were in proportion. Consequently, wages were twice as high in the North as they werein the South, because the one wage had that much more purchasingpower than the other had. Yes, I made various acquaintances in the hamlet and a thing thatgratified me a good deal was to find our new coins in circulation--lots of milrays, lots of mills, lots of cents, a good many nickels, and some silver; all this among the artisans and commonaltygenerally; yes, and even some gold--but that was at the bank, that is to say, the goldsmith's. I dropped in there while Marco, the son of Marco, was haggling with a shopkeeper over a quarterof a pound of salt, and asked for change for a twenty-dollar goldpiece. They furnished it--that is, after they had chewed the piece, and rung it on the counter, and tried acid on it, and asked mewhere I got it, and who I was, and where I was from, and whereI was going to, and when I expected to get there, and perhapsa couple of hundred more questions; and when they got aground, I went right on and furnished them a lot of information voluntarily;told them I owned a dog, and his name was Watch, and my first wifewas a Free Will Baptist, and her grandfather was a Prohibitionist, and I used to know a man who had two thumbs on each hand and a warton the inside of his upper lip, and died in the hope of a gloriousresurrection, and so on, and so on, and so on, till even thathungry village questioner began to look satisfied, and also a shadeput out; but he had to respect a man of my financial strength, and so he didn't give me any lip, but I noticed he took it out ofhis underlings, which was a perfectly natural thing to do. Yes, they changed my twenty, but I judged it strained the bank a little, which was a thing to be expected, for it was the same as walkinginto a paltry village store in the nineteenth century and requiringthe boss of it to change a two thousand-dollar bill for you allof a sudden. He could do it, maybe; but at the same time hewould wonder how a small farmer happened to be carrying so muchmoney around in his pocket; which was probably this goldsmith'sthought, too; for he followed me to the door and stood there gazingafter me with reverent admiration. Our new money was not only handsomely circulating, but its languagewas already glibly in use; that is to say, people had droppedthe names of the former moneys, and spoke of things as being worthso many dollars or cents or mills or milrays now. It was verygratifying. We were progressing, that was sure. I got to know several master mechanics, but about the most interestingfellow among them was the blacksmith, Dowley. He was a live manand a brisk talker, and had two journeymen and three apprentices, and was doing a raging business. In fact, he was getting rich, hand over fist, and was vastly respected. Marco was very proud ofhaving such a man for a friend. He had taken me there ostensiblyto let me see the big establishment which bought so much of hischarcoal, but really to let me see what easy and almost familiarterms he was on with this great man. Dowley and I fraternizedat once; I had had just such picked men, splendid fellows, underme in the Colt Arms Factory. I was bound to see more of him, soI invited him to come out to Marco's Sunday, and dine with us. Marco was appalled, and held his breath; and when the grandeeaccepted, he was so grateful that he almost forgot to be astonishedat the condescension. Marco's joy was exuberant--but only for a moment; then he grewthoughtful, then sad; and when he heard me tell Dowley I shouldhave Dickon, the boss mason, and Smug, the boss wheelwright, outthere, too, the coal-dust on his face turned to chalk, and he losthis grip. But I knew what was the matter with him; it was theexpense. He saw ruin before him; he judged that his financialdays were numbered. However, on our way to invite the others, I said: "You must allow me to have these friends come; and you must alsoallow me to pay the costs. " His face cleared, and he said with spirit: "But not all of it, not all of it. Ye cannot well bear a burdenlike to this alone. " I stopped him, and said: "Now let's understand each other on the spot, old friend. I amonly a farm bailiff, it is true; but I am not poor, nevertheless. I have been very fortunate this year--you would be astonishedto know how I have thriven. I tell you the honest truth when I sayI could squander away as many as a dozen feasts like this and nevercare _that_ for the expense!" and I snapped my fingers. I couldsee myself rise a foot at a time in Marco's estimation, and whenI fetched out those last words I was become a very tower for styleand altitude. "So you see, you must let me have my way. Youcan't contribute a cent to this orgy, that's _settled_. " "It's grand and good of you--" "No, it isn't. You've opened your house to Jones and me in themost generous way; Jones was remarking upon it to-day, just beforeyou came back from the village; for although he wouldn't be likelyto say such a thing to you--because Jones isn't a talker, and isdiffident in society--he has a good heart and a grateful, andknows how to appreciate it when he is well treated; yes, you andyour wife have been very hospitable toward us--" "Ah, brother, 'tis nothing--_such_ hospitality!" "But it _is_ something; the best a man has, freely given, is alwayssomething, and is as good as a prince can do, and ranks rightalong beside it--for even a prince can but do his best. And sowe'll shop around and get up this layout now, and don't you worryabout the expense. I'm one of the worst spendthrifts that everwas born. Why, do you know, sometimes in a single week I spend--but never mind about that--you'd never believe it anyway. " And so we went gadding along, dropping in here and there, pricingthings, and gossiping with the shopkeepers about the riot, and nowand then running across pathetic reminders of it, in the persons ofshunned and tearful and houseless remnants of families whose homeshad been taken from them and their parents butchered or hanged. The raiment of Marco and his wife was of coarse tow-linen andlinsey-woolsey respectively, and resembled township maps, it beingmade up pretty exclusively of patches which had been added, townshipby township, in the course of five or six years, until hardly ahand's-breadth of the original garments was surviving and present. Now I wanted to fit these people out with new suits, on account ofthat swell company, and I didn't know just how to get at it--with delicacy, until at last it struck me that as I had alreadybeen liberal in inventing wordy gratitude for the king, it wouldbe just the thing to back it up with evidence of a substantialsort; so I said: "And Marco, there's another thing which you must permit--out ofkindness for Jones--because you wouldn't want to offend him. He was very anxious to testify his appreciation in some way, buthe is so diffident he couldn't venture it himself, and so he beggedme to buy some little things and give them to you and Dame Phyllisand let him pay for them without your ever knowing they came fromhim--you know how a delicate person feels about that sort of thing--and so I said I would, and we would keep mum. Well, his ideawas, a new outfit of clothes for you both--" "Oh, it is wastefulness! It may not be, brother, it may not be. Consider the vastness of the sum--" "Hang the vastness of the sum! Try to keep quiet for a moment, and see how it would seem; a body can't get in a word edgeways, you talk so much. You ought to cure that, Marco; it isn't goodform, you know, and it will grow on you if you don't check it. Yes, we'll step in here now and price this man's stuff--and don'tforget to remember to not let on to Jones that you know he hadanything to do with it. You can't think how curiously sensitiveand proud he is. He's a farmer--pretty fairly well-to-do farmer--an I'm his bailiff; _but_--the imagination of that man! Why, sometimes when he forgets himself and gets to blowing off, you'dthink he was one of the swells of the earth; and you might listento him a hundred years and never take him for a farmer--especially ifhe talked agriculture. He _thinks_ he's a Sheol of a farmer; thinkshe's old Grayback from Wayback; but between you and me privatelyhe don't know as much about farming as he does about runninga kingdom--still, whatever he talks about, you want to drop yourunderjaw and listen, the same as if you had never heard suchincredible wisdom in all your life before, and were afraid youmight die before you got enough of it. That will please Jones. " It tickled Marco to the marrow to hear about such an odd character;but it also prepared him for accidents; and in my experience whenyou travel with a king who is letting on to be something else andcan't remember it more than about half the time, you can't taketoo many precautions. This was the best store we had come across yet; it had everythingin it, in small quantities, from anvils and drygoods all the waydown to fish and pinchbeck jewelry. I concluded I would bunchmy whole invoice right here, and not go pricing around any more. So I got rid of Marco, by sending him off to invite the mason andthe wheelwright, which left the field free to me. For I never careto do a thing in a quiet way; it's got to be theatrical or I don'ttake any interest in it. I showed up money enough, in a carelessway, to corral the shopkeeper's respect, and then I wrote downa list of the things I wanted, and handed it to him to see if hecould read it. He could, and was proud to show that he could. He said he had been educated by a priest, and could both readand write. He ran it through, and remarked with satisfaction thatit was a pretty heavy bill. Well, and so it was, for a littleconcern like that. I was not only providing a swell dinner, butsome odds and ends of extras. I ordered that the things be cartedout and delivered at the dwelling of Marco, the son of Marco, by Saturday evening, and send me the bill at dinner-time Sunday. He said I could depend upon his promptness and exactitude, it wasthe rule of the house. He also observed that he would throw ina couple of miller-guns for the Marcos gratis--that everybodywas using them now. He had a mighty opinion of that cleverdevice. I said: "And please fill them up to the middle mark, too; and add thatto the bill. " He would, with pleasure. He filled them, and I took them withme. I couldn't venture to tell him that the miller-gun was alittle invention of my own, and that I had officially ordered thatevery shopkeeper in the kingdom keep them on hand and sell themat government price--which was the merest trifle, and the shopkeepergot that, not the government. We furnished them for nothing. The king had hardly missed us when we got back at nightfall. Hehad early dropped again into his dream of a grand invasion of Gaulwith the whole strength of his kingdom at his back, and the afternoonhad slipped away without his ever coming to himself again.