DON QUIXOTE

 Volume II. 

 Part 38. 

 by Miguel de Cervantes

 Translated by John Ormsby

CHAPTER LXII. 

WHICH DEALS WITH THE ADVENTURE OF THE ENCHANTED HEAD, TOGETHER WITH OTHERTRIVIAL MATTERS WHICH CANNOT BE LEFT UNTOLD

Don Quixote's host was one Don Antonio Moreno by name, a gentleman ofwealth and intelligence, and very fond of diverting himself in any fairand good-natured way; and having Don Quixote in his house he set aboutdevising modes of making him exhibit his mad points in some harmlessfashion; for jests that give pain are no jests, and no sport is worthanything if it hurts another. The first thing he did was to make DonQuixote take off his armour, and lead him, in that tight chamois suit wehave already described and depicted more than once, out on a balconyoverhanging one of the chief streets of the city, in full view of thecrowd and of the boys, who gazed at him as they would at a monkey. Thecavaliers in livery careered before him again as though it were for himalone, and not to enliven the festival of the day, that they wore it, andSancho was in high delight, for it seemed to him that, how he knew not, he had fallen upon another Camacho's wedding, another house like DonDiego de Miranda's, another castle like the duke's. Some of Don Antonio'sfriends dined with him that day, and all showed honour to Don Quixote andtreated him as a knight-errant, and he becoming puffed up and exalted inconsequence could not contain himself for satisfaction. Such were thedrolleries of Sancho that all the servants of the house, and all whoheard him, were kept hanging upon his lips. While at table Don Antoniosaid to him, "We hear, worthy Sancho, that you are so fond of manjarblanco and forced-meat balls, that if you have any left, you keep them inyour bosom for the next day. "

"No, senor, that's not true, " said Sancho, "for I am more cleanly thangreedy, and my master Don Quixote here knows well that we two are used tolive for a week on a handful of acorns or nuts. To be sure, if it sohappens that they offer me a heifer, I run with a halter; I mean, I eatwhat I'm given, and make use of opportunities as I find them; but whoeversays that I'm an out-of-the-way eater or not cleanly, let me tell himthat he is wrong; and I'd put it in a different way if I did not respectthe honourable beards that are at the table. "

"Indeed, " said Don Quixote, "Sancho's moderation and cleanliness ineating might be inscribed and graved on plates of brass, to be kept ineternal remembrance in ages to come. It is true that when he is hungrythere is a certain appearance of voracity about him, for he eats at agreat pace and chews with both jaws; but cleanliness he is always mindfulof; and when he was governor he learned how to eat daintily, so much sothat he eats grapes, and even pomegranate pips, with a fork. "

"What!" said Don Antonio, "has Sancho been a governor?"

"Ay, " said Sancho, "and of an island called Barataria. I governed it toperfection for ten days; and lost my rest all the time; and learned tolook down upon all the governments in the world; I got out of it bytaking to flight, and fell into a pit where I gave myself up for dead, and out of which I escaped alive by a miracle. "

Don Quixote then gave them a minute account of the whole affair ofSancho's government, with which he greatly amused his hearers. 

On the cloth being removed Don Antonio, taking Don Quixote by the hand, passed with him into a distant room in which there was nothing in the wayof furniture except a table, apparently of jasper, resting on a pedestalof the same, upon which was set up, after the fashion of the busts of theRoman emperors, a head which seemed to be of bronze. Don Antoniotraversed the whole apartment with Don Quixote and walked round the tableseveral times, and then said, "Now, Senor Don Quixote, that I amsatisfied that no one is listening to us, and that the door is shut, Iwill tell you of one of the rarest adventures, or more properly speakingstrange things, that can be imagined, on condition that you will keepwhat I say to you in the remotest recesses of secrecy. "

"I swear it, " said Don Quixote, "and for greater security I will put aflag-stone over it; for I would have you know, Senor Don Antonio" (he hadby this time learned his name), "that you are addressing one who, thoughhe has ears to hear, has no tongue to speak; so that you may safelytransfer whatever you have in your bosom into mine, and rely upon it thatyou have consigned it to the depths of silence. "

"In reliance upon that promise, " said Don Antonio, "I will astonish youwith what you shall see and hear, and relieve myself of some of thevexation it gives me to have no one to whom I can confide my secrets, forthey are not of a sort to be entrusted to everybody. "

Don Quixote was puzzled, wondering what could be the object of suchprecautions; whereupon Don Antonio taking his hand passed it over thebronze head and the whole table and the pedestal of jasper on which itstood, and then said, "This head, Senor Don Quixote, has been made andfabricated by one of the greatest magicians and wizards the world eversaw, a Pole, I believe, by birth, and a pupil of the famous Escotillo ofwhom such marvellous stories are told. He was here in my house, and for aconsideration of a thousand crowns that I gave him he constructed thishead, which has the property and virtue of answering whatever questionsare put to its ear. He observed the points of the compass, he tracedfigures, he studied the stars, he watched favourable moments, and atlength brought it to the perfection we shall see to-morrow, for onFridays it is mute, and this being Friday we must wait till the next day. In the interval your worship may consider what you would like to ask it;and I know by experience that in all its answers it tells the truth. "

Don Quixote was amazed at the virtue and property of the head, and wasinclined to disbelieve Don Antonio; but seeing what a short time he hadto wait to test the matter, he did not choose to say anything except thathe thanked him for having revealed to him so mighty a secret. They thenquitted the room, Don Antonio locked the door, and they repaired to thechamber where the rest of the gentlemen were assembled. In the meantimeSancho had recounted to them several of the adventures and accidents thathad happened his master. 

That afternoon they took Don Quixote out for a stroll, not in his armourbut in street costume, with a surcoat of tawny cloth upon him, that atthat season would have made ice itself sweat. Orders were left with theservants to entertain Sancho so as not to let him leave the house. DonQuixote was mounted, not on Rocinante, but upon a tall mule of easy paceand handsomely caparisoned. They put the surcoat on him, and on the back, without his perceiving it, they stitched a parchment on which they wrotein large letters, "This is Don Quixote of La Mancha. " As they set outupon their excursion the placard attracted the eyes of all who chanced tosee him, and as they read out, "This is Don Quixote of La Mancha, " DonQuixote was amazed to see how many people gazed at him, called him by hisname, and recognised him, and turning to Don Antonio, who rode at hisside, he observed to him, "Great are the privileges knight-errantryinvolves, for it makes him who professes it known and famous in everyregion of the earth; see, Don Antonio, even the very boys of this cityknow me without ever having seen me. "

"True, Senor Don Quixote, " returned Don Antonio; "for as fire cannot behidden or kept secret, virtue cannot escape being recognised; and thatwhich is attained by the profession of arms shines distinguished aboveall others. "

It came to pass, however, that as Don Quixote was proceeding amid theacclamations that have been described, a Castilian, reading theinscription on his back, cried out in a loud voice, "The devil take theefor a Don Quixote of La Mancha! What! art thou here, and not dead of thecountless drubbings that have fallen on thy ribs? Thou art mad; and ifthou wert so by thyself, and kept thyself within thy madness, it wouldnot be so bad; but thou hast the gift of making fools and blockheads ofall who have anything to do with thee or say to thee. Why, look at thesegentlemen bearing thee company! Get thee home, blockhead, and see afterthy affairs, and thy wife and children, and give over these fooleriesthat are sapping thy brains and skimming away thy wits. "

"Go your own way, brother, " said Don Antonio, "and don't offer advice tothose who don't ask you for it. Senor Don Quixote is in his full senses, and we who bear him company are not fools; virtue is to be honouredwherever it may be found; go, and bad luck to you, and don't meddle whereyou are not wanted. "

"By God, your worship is right, " replied the Castilian; "for to advisethis good man is to kick against the pricks; still for all that it fillsme with pity that the sound wit they say the blockhead has in everythingshould dribble away by the channel of his knight-errantry; but may thebad luck your worship talks of follow me and all my descendants, if, fromthis day forth, though I should live longer than Methuselah, I ever giveadvice to anybody even if he asks me for it. "

The advice-giver took himself off, and they continued their stroll; butso great was the press of the boys and people to read the placard, thatDon Antonio was forced to remove it as if he were taking off somethingelse. 

Night came and they went home, and there was a ladies' dancing party, forDon Antonio's wife, a lady of rank and gaiety, beauty and wit, hadinvited some friends of hers to come and do honour to her guest and amusethemselves with his strange delusions. Several of them came, they suppedsumptuously, the dance began at about ten o'clock. Among the ladies weretwo of a mischievous and frolicsome turn, and, though perfectly modest, somewhat free in playing tricks for harmless diversion sake. These twowere so indefatigable in taking Don Quixote out to dance that they tiredhim down, not only in body but in spirit. It was a sight to see thefigure Don Quixote made, long, lank, lean, and yellow, his garmentsclinging tight to him, ungainly, and above all anything but agile. 

The gay ladies made secret love to him, and he on his part secretlyrepelled them, but finding himself hard pressed by their blandishments helifted up his voice and exclaimed, "Fugite, partes adversae! Leave me inpeace, unwelcome overtures; avaunt, with your desires, ladies, for shewho is queen of mine, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, suffers none buthers to lead me captive and subdue me;" and so saying he sat down on thefloor in the middle of the room, tired out and broken down by all thisexertion in the dance. 

Don Antonio directed him to be taken up bodily and carried to bed, andthe first that laid hold of him was Sancho, saying as he did so, "In anevil hour you took to dancing, master mine; do you fancy all mighty menof valour are dancers, and all knights-errant given to capering? If youdo, I can tell you you are mistaken; there's many a man would ratherundertake to kill a giant than cut a caper. If it had been the shoe-flingyou were at I could take your place, for I can do the shoe-fling like agerfalcon; but I'm no good at dancing. "

With these and other observations Sancho set the whole ball-roomlaughing, and then put his master to bed, covering him up well so that hemight sweat out any chill caught after his dancing. 

The next day Don Antonio thought he might as well make trial of theenchanted head, and with Don Quixote, Sancho, and two others, friends ofhis, besides the two ladies that had tired out Don Quixote at the ball, who had remained for the night with Don Antonio's wife, he locked himselfup in the chamber where the head was. He explained to them the propertyit possessed and entrusted the secret to them, telling them that now forthe first time he was going to try the virtue of the enchanted head; butexcept Don Antonio's two friends no one else was privy to the mystery ofthe enchantment, and if Don Antonio had not first revealed it to themthey would have been inevitably reduced to the same state of amazement asthe rest, so artfully and skilfully was it contrived. 

The first to approach the ear of the head was Don Antonio himself, and ina low voice but not so low as not to be audible to all, he said to it, "Head, tell me by the virtue that lies in thee what am I at this momentthinking of?"

The head, without any movement of the lips, answered in a clear anddistinct voice, so as to be heard by all, "I cannot judge of thoughts. "

All were thunderstruck at this, and all the more so as they saw thatthere was nobody anywhere near the table or in the whole room that couldhave answered. "How many of us are here?" asked Don Antonio once more;and it was answered him in the same way softly, "Thou and thy wife, withtwo friends of thine and two of hers, and a famous knight called DonQuixote of La Mancha, and a squire of his, Sancho Panza by name. "

Now there was fresh astonishment; now everyone's hair was standing on endwith awe; and Don Antonio retiring from the head exclaimed, "Thissuffices to show me that I have not been deceived by him who sold thee tome, O sage head, talking head, answering head, wonderful head! Let someone else go and put what question he likes to it. "

And as women are commonly impulsive and inquisitive, the first to comeforward was one of the two friends of Don Antonio's wife, and herquestion was, "Tell me, Head, what shall I do to be very beautiful?" andthe answer she got was, "Be very modest. "

"I question thee no further, " said the fair querist. 

Her companion then came up and said, "I should like to know, Head, whether my husband loves me or not;" the answer given to her was, "Thinkhow he uses thee, and thou mayest guess;" and the married lady went offsaying, "That answer did not need a question; for of course the treatmentone receives shows the disposition of him from whom it is received. "

Then one of Don Antonio's two friends advanced and asked it, "Who am I?""Thou knowest, " was the answer. "That is not what I ask thee, " said thegentleman, "but to tell me if thou knowest me. " "Yes, I know thee, thouart Don Pedro Noriz, " was the reply. 

"I do not seek to know more, " said the gentleman, "for this is enough toconvince me, O Head, that thou knowest everything;" and as he retired theother friend came forward and asked it, "Tell me, Head, what are thewishes of my eldest son?"

"I have said already, " was the answer, "that I cannot judge of wishes;however, I can tell thee the wish of thy son is to bury thee. "

"That's 'what I see with my eyes I point out with my finger, '" said thegentleman, "so I ask no more. "

Don Antonio's wife came up and said, "I know not what to ask thee, Head;I would only seek to know of thee if I shall have many years of enjoymentof my good husband;" and the answer she received was, "Thou shalt, forhis vigour and his temperate habits promise many years of life, which bytheir intemperance others so often cut short. "

Then Don Quixote came forward and said, "Tell me, thou that answerest, was that which I describe as having happened to me in the cave ofMontesinos the truth or a dream? Will Sancho's whipping be accomplishedwithout fail? Will the disenchantment of Dulcinea be brought about?"

"As to the question of the cave, " was the reply, "there is much to besaid; there is something of both in it. Sancho's whipping will proceedleisurely. The disenchantment of Dulcinea will attain its dueconsummation. "

"I seek to know no more, " said Don Quixote; "let me but see Dulcineadisenchanted, and I will consider that all the good fortune I could wishfor has come upon me all at once. "

The last questioner was Sancho, and his questions were, "Head, shall I byany chance have another government? Shall I ever escape from the hardlife of a squire? Shall I get back to see my wife and children?" To whichthe answer came, "Thou shalt govern in thy house; and if thou returnestto it thou shalt see thy wife and children; and on ceasing to serve thoushalt cease to be a squire. "

"Good, by God!" said Sancho Panza; "I could have told myself that; theprophet Perogrullo could have said no more. "

"What answer wouldst thou have, beast?" said Don Quixote; "is it notenough that the replies this head has given suit the questions put toit?"

"Yes, it is enough, " said Sancho; "but I should have liked it to havemade itself plainer and told me more. "

The questions and answers came to an end here, but not the wonder withwhich all were filled, except Don Antonio's two friends who were in thesecret. This Cide Hamete Benengeli thought fit to reveal at once, not tokeep the world in suspense, fancying that the head had some strangemagical mystery in it. He says, therefore, that on the model of anotherhead, the work of an image maker, which he had seen at Madrid, DonAntonio made this one at home for his own amusement and to astonishignorant people; and its mechanism was as follows. The table was of woodpainted and varnished to imitate jasper, and the pedestal on which itstood was of the same material, with four eagles' claws projecting fromit to support the weight more steadily. The head, which resembled a bustor figure of a Roman emperor, and was coloured like bronze, was hollowthroughout, as was the table, into which it was fitted so exactly that notrace of the joining was visible. The pedestal of the table was alsohollow and communicated with the throat and neck of the head, and thewhole was in communication with another room underneath the chamber inwhich the head stood. Through the entire cavity in the pedestal, table, throat and neck of the bust or figure, there passed a tube of tincarefully adjusted and concealed from sight. In the room belowcorresponding to the one above was placed the person who was to answer, with his mouth to the tube, and the voice, as in an ear-trumpet, passedfrom above downwards, and from below upwards, the words coming clearlyand distinctly; it was impossible, thus, to detect the trick. A nephew ofDon Antonio's, a smart sharp-witted student, was the answerer, and as hehad been told beforehand by his uncle who the persons were that wouldcome with him that day into the chamber where the head was, it was aneasy matter for him to answer the first question at once and correctly;the others he answered by guess-work, and, being clever, cleverly. CideHamete adds that this marvellous contrivance stood for some ten or twelvedays; but that, as it became noised abroad through the city that he hadin his house an enchanted head that answered all who asked questions ofit, Don Antonio, fearing it might come to the ears of the watchfulsentinels of our faith, explained the matter to the inquisitors, whocommanded him to break it up and have done with it, lest the ignorantvulgar should be scandalised. By Don Quixote, however, and by Sancho thehead was still held to be an enchanted one, and capable of answeringquestions, though more to Don Quixote's satisfaction than Sancho's. 

The gentlemen of the city, to gratify Don Antonio and also to do thehonours to Don Quixote, and give him an opportunity of displaying hisfolly, made arrangements for a tilting at the ring in six days from thattime, which, however, for reason that will be mentioned hereafter, didnot take place. 

Don Quixote took a fancy to stroll about the city quietly and on foot, for he feared that if he went on horseback the boys would follow him; sohe and Sancho and two servants that Don Antonio gave him set out for awalk. Thus it came to pass that going along one of the streets DonQuixote lifted up his eyes and saw written in very large letters over adoor, "Books printed here, " at which he was vastly pleased, for untilthen he had never seen a printing office, and he was curious to know whatit was like. He entered with all his following, and saw them drawingsheets in one place, correcting in another, setting up type here, revising there; in short all the work that is to be seen in greatprinting offices. He went up to one case and asked what they were aboutthere; the workmen told him, he watched them with wonder, and passed on. He approached one man, among others, and asked him what he was doing. Theworkman replied, "Senor, this gentleman here" (pointing to a man ofprepossessing appearance and a certain gravity of look) "has translatedan Italian book into our Spanish tongue, and I am setting it up in typefor the press. "

"What is the title of the book?" asked Don Quixote; to which the authorreplied, "Senor, in Italian the book is called Le Bagatelle. "

"And what does Le Bagatelle import in our Spanish?" asked Don Quixote. 

"Le Bagatelle, " said the author, "is as though we should say in SpanishLos Juguetes; but though the book is humble in name it has good solidmatter in it. "

"I, " said Don Quixote, "have some little smattering of Italian, and Iplume myself on singing some of Ariosto's stanzas; but tell me, senor--Ido not say this to test your ability, but merely out of curiosity--haveyou ever met with the word pignatta in your book?"

"Yes, often, " said the author. 

"And how do you render that in Spanish?"

"How should I render it, " returned the author, "but by olla?"

"Body o' me, " exclaimed Don Quixote, "what a proficient you are in theItalian language! I would lay a good wager that where they say in Italianpiace you say in Spanish place, and where they say piu you say mas, andyou translate su by arriba and giu by abajo. "

"I translate them so of course, " said the author, "for those are theirproper equivalents. "

"I would venture to swear, " said Don Quixote, "that your worship is notknown in the world, which always begrudges their reward to rare wits andpraiseworthy labours. What talents lie wasted there! What genius thrustaway into corners! What worth left neglected! Still it seems to me thattranslation from one language into another, if it be not from the queensof languages, the Greek and the Latin, is like looking at Flemishtapestries on the wrong side; for though the figures are visible, theyare full of threads that make them indistinct, and they do not show withthe smoothness and brightness of the right side; and translation fromeasy languages argues neither ingenuity nor command of words, any morethan transcribing or copying out one document from another. But I do notmean by this to draw the inference that no credit is to be allowed forthe work of translating, for a man may employ himself in ways worse andless profitable to himself. This estimate does not include two famoustranslators, Doctor Cristobal de Figueroa, in his Pastor Fido, and DonJuan de Jauregui, in his Aminta, wherein by their felicity they leave itin doubt which is the translation and which the original. But tell me, are you printing this book at your own risk, or have you sold thecopyright to some bookseller?"

"I print at my own risk, " said the author, "and I expect to make athousand ducats at least by this first edition, which is to be of twothousand copies that will go off in a twinkling at six reals apiece. "

"A fine calculation you are making!" said Don Quixote; "it is plain youdon't know the ins and outs of the printers, and how they play into oneanother's hands. I promise you when you find yourself saddled with twothousand copies you will feel so sore that it will astonish you, particularly if the book is a little out of the common and not in any wayhighly spiced. "

"What!" said the author, "would your worship, then, have me give it to abookseller who will give three maravedis for the copyright and think heis doing me a favour? I do not print my books to win fame in the world, for I am known in it already by my works; I want to make money, withoutwhich reputation is not worth a rap. "

"God send your worship good luck, " said Don Quixote; and he moved on toanother case, where he saw them correcting a sheet of a book with thetitle of "Light of the Soul;" noticing it he observed, "Books like this, though there are many of the kind, are the ones that deserve to beprinted, for many are the sinners in these days, and lights unnumberedare needed for all that are in darkness. "

He passed on, and saw they were also correcting another book, and when heasked its title they told him it was called, "The Second Part of theIngenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha, " by one of Tordesillas. 

"I have heard of this book already, " said Don Quixote, "and verily and onmy conscience I thought it had been by this time burned to ashes as ameddlesome intruder; but its Martinmas will come to it as it does toevery pig; for fictions have the more merit and charm about them the morenearly they approach the truth or what looks like it; and true stories, the truer they are the better they are;" and so saying he walked out ofthe printing office with a certain amount of displeasure in his looks. That same day Don Antonio arranged to take him to see the galleys thatlay at the beach, whereat Sancho was in high delight, as he had neverseen any all his life. Don Antonio sent word to the commandant of thegalleys that he intended to bring his guest, the famous Don Quixote of LaMancha, of whom the commandant and all the citizens had already heard, that afternoon to see them; and what happened on board of them will betold in the next chapter.