DON QUIXOTE

 Volume II. 

 Part 26. 

 by Miguel de Cervantes

 Translated by John Ormsby

CHAPTER XXIII. 

OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS THE INCOMPARABLE DON QUIXOTE SAID HE SAW IN THEPROFOUND CAVE OF MONTESINOS, THE IMPOSSIBILITY AND MAGNITUDE OF WHICHCAUSE THIS ADVENTURE TO BE DEEMED APOCRYPHAL

It was about four in the afternoon when the sun, veiled in clouds, withsubdued light and tempered beams, enabled Don Quixote to relate, withoutheat or inconvenience, what he had seen in the cave of Montesinos to histwo illustrious hearers, and he began as follows:

"A matter of some twelve or fourteen times a man's height down in thispit, on the right-hand side, there is a recess or space, roomy enough tocontain a large cart with its mules. A little light reaches it throughsome chinks or crevices, communicating with it and open to the surface ofthe earth. This recess or space I perceived when I was already growingweary and disgusted at finding myself hanging suspended by the rope, travelling downwards into that dark region without any certainty orknowledge of where I was going, so I resolved to enter it and rest myselffor a while. I called out, telling you not to let out more rope until Ibade you, but you cannot have heard me. I then gathered in the rope youwere sending me, and making a coil or pile of it I seated myself upon it, ruminating and considering what I was to do to lower myself to thebottom, having no one to hold me up; and as I was thus deep in thoughtand perplexity, suddenly and without provocation a profound sleep fellupon me, and when I least expected it, I know not how, I awoke and foundmyself in the midst of the most beautiful, delightful meadow that naturecould produce or the most lively human imagination conceive. I opened myeyes, I rubbed them, and found I was not asleep but thoroughly awake. Nevertheless, I felt my head and breast to satisfy myself whether it wasI myself who was there or some empty delusive phantom; but touch, feeling, the collected thoughts that passed through my mind, allconvinced me that I was the same then and there that I am this moment. Next there presented itself to my sight a stately royal palace or castle, with walls that seemed built of clear transparent crystal; and throughtwo great doors that opened wide therein, I saw coming forth andadvancing towards me a venerable old man, clad in a long gown ofmulberry-coloured serge that trailed upon the ground. On his shouldersand breast he had a green satin collegiate hood, and covering his head ablack Milanese bonnet, and his snow-white beard fell below his girdle. Hecarried no arms whatever, nothing but a rosary of beads bigger thanfair-sized filberts, each tenth bead being like a moderate ostrich egg;his bearing, his gait, his dignity and imposing presence held mespellbound and wondering. He approached me, and the first thing he didwas to embrace me closely, and then he said to me, 'For a long time now, O valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, we who are here enchanted inthese solitudes have been hoping to see thee, that thou mayest make knownto the world what is shut up and concealed in this deep cave, called thecave of Montesinos, which thou hast entered, an achievement reserved forthy invincible heart and stupendous courage alone to attempt. Come withme, illustrious sir, and I will show thee the marvels hidden within thistransparent castle, whereof I am the alcaide and perpetual warden; for Iam Montesinos himself, from whom the cave takes its name. '

"The instant he told me he was Montesinos, I asked him if the story theytold in the world above here was true, that he had taken out the heart ofhis great friend Durandarte from his breast with a little dagger, andcarried it to the lady Belerma, as his friend when at the point of deathhad commanded him. He said in reply that they spoke the truth in everyrespect except as to the dagger, for it was not a dagger, nor little, buta burnished poniard sharper than an awl. "

"That poniard must have been made by Ramon de Hoces the Sevillian, " saidSancho. 

"I do not know, " said Don Quixote; "it could not have been by thatponiard maker, however, because Ramon de Hoces was a man of yesterday, and the affair of Roncesvalles, where this mishap occurred, was long ago;but the question is of no great importance, nor does it affect or makeany alteration in the truth or substance of the story. "

"That is true, " said the cousin; "continue, Senor Don Quixote, for I amlistening to you with the greatest pleasure in the world. "

"And with no less do I tell the tale, " said Don Quixote; "and so, toproceed--the venerable Montesinos led me into the palace of crystal, where, in a lower chamber, strangely cool and entirely of alabaster, wasan elaborately wrought marble tomb, upon which I beheld, stretched atfull length, a knight, not of bronze, or marble, or jasper, as are seenon other tombs, but of actual flesh and bone. His right hand (whichseemed to me somewhat hairy and sinewy, a sign of great strength in itsowner) lay on the side of his heart; but before I could put any questionto Montesinos, he, seeing me gazing at the tomb in amazement, said to me, 'This is my friend Durandarte, flower and mirror of the true lovers andvaliant knights of his time. He is held enchanted here, as I myself andmany others are, by that French enchanter Merlin, who, they say, was thedevil's son; but my belief is, not that he was the devil's son, but thathe knew, as the saying is, a point more than the devil. How or why heenchanted us, no one knows, but time will tell, and I suspect that timeis not far off. What I marvel at is, that I know it to be as sure as thatit is now day, that Durandarte ended his life in my arms, and that, afterhis death, I took out his heart with my own hands; and indeed it musthave weighed more than two pounds, for, according to naturalists, he whohas a large heart is more largely endowed with valour than he who has asmall one. Then, as this is the case, and as the knight did really die, how comes it that he now moans and sighs from time to time, as if he werestill alive?'

"As he said this, the wretched Durandarte cried out in a loud voice:

O cousin Montesinos! 'T was my last request of thee, When my soul hath left the body, And that lying dead I be, With thy poniard or thy dagger Cut the heart from out my breast, And bear it to Belerma. This was my last request. "

On hearing which, the venerable Montesinos fell on his knees before theunhappy knight, and with tearful eyes exclaimed, 'Long since, SenorDurandarte, my beloved cousin, long since have I done what you bade me onthat sad day when I lost you; I took out your heart as well as I could, not leaving an atom of it in your breast, I wiped it with a lacehandkerchief, and I took the road to France with it, having first laidyou in the bosom of the earth with tears enough to wash and cleanse myhands of the blood that covered them after wandering among your bowels;and more by token, O cousin of my soul, at the first village I came toafter leaving Roncesvalles, I sprinkled a little salt upon your heart tokeep it sweet, and bring it, if not fresh, at least pickled, into thepresence of the lady Belerma, whom, together with you, myself, Guadianayour squire, the duenna Ruidera and her seven daughters and two nieces, and many more of your friends and acquaintances, the sage Merlin has beenkeeping enchanted here these many years; and although more than fivehundred have gone by, not one of us has died; Ruidera and her daughtersand nieces alone are missing, and these, because of the tears they shed, Merlin, out of the compassion he seems to have felt for them, changedinto so many lakes, which to this day in the world of the living, and inthe province of La Mancha, are called the Lakes of Ruidera. The sevendaughters belong to the kings of Spain and the two nieces to the knightsof a very holy order called the Order of St. John. Guadiana your squire, likewise bewailing your fate, was changed into a river of his own name, but when he came to the surface and beheld the sun of another heaven, sogreat was his grief at finding he was leaving you, that he plunged intothe bowels of the earth; however, as he cannot help following his naturalcourse, he from time to time comes forth and shows himself to the sun andthe world. The lakes aforesaid send him their waters, and with these, andothers that come to him, he makes a grand and imposing entrance intoPortugal; but for all that, go where he may, he shows his melancholy andsadness, and takes no pride in breeding dainty choice fish, only coarseand tasteless sorts, very different from those of the golden Tagus. Allthis that I tell you now, O cousin mine, I have told you many timesbefore, and as you make no answer, I fear that either you believe me not, or do not hear me, whereat I feel God knows what grief. I have now newsto give you, which, if it serves not to alleviate your sufferings, willnot in any wise increase them. Know that you have here before you (openyour eyes and you will see) that great knight of whom the sage Merlin hasprophesied such great things; that Don Quixote of La Mancha I mean, whohas again, and to better purpose than in past times, revived in thesedays knight-errantry, long since forgotten, and by whose intervention andaid it may be we shall be disenchanted; for great deeds are reserved forgreat men. '

"'And if that may not be, ' said the wretched Durandarte in a low andfeeble voice, 'if that may not be, then, my cousin, I say "patience andshuffle;"' and turning over on his side, he relapsed into his formersilence without uttering another word. 

"And now there was heard a great outcry and lamentation, accompanied bydeep sighs and bitter sobs. I looked round, and through the crystal wallI saw passing through another chamber a procession of two lines of fairdamsels all clad in mourning, and with white turbans of Turkish fashionon their heads. Behind, in the rear of these, there came a lady, for sofrom her dignity she seemed to be, also clad in black, with a white veilso long and ample that it swept the ground. Her turban was twice as largeas the largest of any of the others; her eyebrows met, her nose wasrather flat, her mouth was large but with ruddy lips, and her teeth, ofwhich at times she allowed a glimpse, were seen to be sparse and ill-set, though as white as peeled almonds. She carried in her hands a fine cloth, and in it, as well as I could make out, a heart that had been mummied, soparched and dried was it. Montesinos told me that all those forming theprocession were the attendants of Durandarte and Belerma, who wereenchanted there with their master and mistress, and that the last, shewho carried the heart in the cloth, was the lady Belerma, who, with herdamsels, four days in the week went in procession singing, or ratherweeping, dirges over the body and miserable heart of his cousin; and thatif she appeared to me somewhat ill-favoured or not so beautiful as famereported her, it was because of the bad nights and worse days that shepassed in that enchantment, as I could see by the great dark circlesround her eyes, and her sickly complexion; 'her sallowness, and the ringsround her eyes, ' said he, 'are not caused by the periodical ailment usualwith women, for it is many months and even years since she has had any, but by the grief her own heart suffers because of that which she holds inher hand perpetually, and which recalls and brings back to her memory thesad fate of her lost lover; were it not for this, hardly would the greatDulcinea del Toboso, so celebrated in all these parts, and even in theworld, come up to her for beauty, grace, and gaiety. '

"'Hold hard!' said I at this, 'tell your story as you ought, Senor DonMontesinos, for you know very well that all comparisons are odious, andthere is no occasion to compare one person with another; the peerlessDulcinea del Toboso is what she is, and the lady Dona Belerma is what sheis and has been, and that's enough. ' To which he made answer, 'Forgiveme, Senor Don Quixote; I own I was wrong and spoke unadvisedly in sayingthat the lady Dulcinea could scarcely come up to the lady Belerma; for itwere enough for me to have learned, by what means I know not, that youare her knight, to make me bite my tongue out before I compared her toanything save heaven itself. ' After this apology which the greatMontesinos made me, my heart recovered itself from the shock I hadreceived in hearing my lady compared with Belerma. "

"Still I wonder, " said Sancho, "that your worship did not get upon theold fellow and bruise every bone of him with kicks, and pluck his bearduntil you didn't leave a hair in it. "

"Nay, Sancho, my friend, " said Don Quixote, "it would not have been rightin me to do that, for we are all bound to pay respect to the aged, eventhough they be not knights, but especially to those who are, and who areenchanted; I only know I gave him as good as he brought in the many otherquestions and answers we exchanged. "

"I cannot understand, Senor Don Quixote, " remarked the cousin here, "howit is that your worship, in such a short space of time as you have beenbelow there, could have seen so many things, and said and answered somuch. "

"How long is it since I went down?" asked Don Quixote. 

"Little better than an hour, " replied Sancho. 

"That cannot be, " returned Don Quixote, "because night overtook me whileI was there, and day came, and it was night again and day again threetimes; so that, by my reckoning, I have been three days in those remoteregions beyond our ken. "

"My master must be right, " replied Sancho; "for as everything that hashappened to him is by enchantment, maybe what seems to us an hour wouldseem three days and nights there. "

"That's it, " said Don Quixote. 

"And did your worship eat anything all that time, senor?" asked thecousin. 

"I never touched a morsel, " answered Don Quixote, "nor did I feel hunger, or think of it. "

"And do the enchanted eat?" said the cousin. 

"They neither eat, " said Don Quixote; "nor are they subject to thegreater excrements, though it is thought that their nails, beards, andhair grow. "

"And do the enchanted sleep, now, senor?" asked Sancho. 

"Certainly not, " replied Don Quixote; "at least, during those three daysI was with them not one of them closed an eye, nor did I either. "

"The proverb, 'Tell me what company thou keepest and I'll tell thee whatthou art, ' is to the point here, " said Sancho; "your worship keepscompany with enchanted people that are always fasting and watching; whatwonder is it, then, that you neither eat nor sleep while you are withthem? But forgive me, senor, if I say that of all this you have told usnow, may God take me--I was just going to say the devil--if I believe asingle particle. "

"What!" said the cousin, "has Senor Don Quixote, then, been lying? Why, even if he wished it he has not had time to imagine and put together sucha host of lies. "

"I don't believe my master lies, " said Sancho. 

"If not, what dost thou believe?" asked Don Quixote. 

"I believe, " replied Sancho, "that this Merlin, or those enchanters whoenchanted the whole crew your worship says you saw and discoursed withdown there, stuffed your imagination or your mind with all this rigmaroleyou have been treating us to, and all that is still to come. "

"All that might be, Sancho, " replied Don Quixote; "but it is not so, foreverything that I have told you I saw with my own eyes, and touched withmy own hands. But what will you say when I tell you now how, among thecountless other marvellous things Montesinos showed me (of which atleisure and at the proper time I will give thee an account in the courseof our journey, for they would not be all in place here), he showed methree country girls who went skipping and capering like goats over thepleasant fields there, and the instant I beheld them I knew one to be thepeerless Dulcinea del Toboso, and the other two those same country girlsthat were with her and that we spoke to on the road from El Toboso! Iasked Montesinos if he knew them, and he told me he did not, but hethought they must be some enchanted ladies of distinction, for it wasonly a few days before that they had made their appearance in thosemeadows; but I was not to be surprised at that, because there were agreat many other ladies there of times past and present, enchanted invarious strange shapes, and among them he had recognised Queen Guinevereand her dame Quintanona, she who poured out the wine for Lancelot when hecame from Britain. "

When Sancho Panza heard his master say this he was ready to take leave ofhis senses, or die with laughter; for, as he knew the real truth aboutthe pretended enchantment of Dulcinea, in which he himself had been theenchanter and concocter of all the evidence, he made up his mind at lastthat, beyond all doubt, his master was out of his wits and stark mad, sohe said to him, "It was an evil hour, a worse season, and a sorrowfulday, when your worship, dear master mine, went down to the other world, and an unlucky moment when you met with Senor Montesinos, who has sentyou back to us like this. You were well enough here above in your fullsenses, such as God had given you, delivering maxims and giving advice atevery turn, and not as you are now, talking the greatest nonsense thatcan be imagined. "

"As I know thee, Sancho, " said Don Quixote, "I heed not thy words. "

"Nor I your worship's, " said Sancho, "whether you beat me or kill me forthose I have spoken, and will speak if you don't correct and mend yourown. But tell me, while we are still at peace, how or by what did yourecognise the lady our mistress; and if you spoke to her, what did yousay, and what did she answer?"

"I recognised her, " said Don Quixote, "by her wearing the same garmentsshe wore when thou didst point her out to me. I spoke to her, but she didnot utter a word in reply; on the contrary, she turned her back on me andtook to flight, at such a pace that crossbow bolt could not haveovertaken her. I wished to follow her, and would have done so had notMontesinos recommended me not to take the trouble as it would be useless, particularly as the time was drawing near when it would be necessary forme to quit the cavern. He told me, moreover, that in course of time hewould let me know how he and Belerma, and Durandarte, and all who werethere, were to be disenchanted. But of all I saw and observed down there, what gave me most pain was, that while Montesinos was speaking to me, oneof the two companions of the hapless Dulcinea approached me on onewithout my having seen her coming, and with tears in her eyes said to me, in a low, agitated voice, 'My lady Dulcinea del Toboso kisses yourworship's hands, and entreats you to do her the favour of letting herknow how you are; and, being in great need, she also entreats yourworship as earnestly as she can to be so good as to lend her half a dozenreals, or as much as you may have about you, on this new dimity petticoatthat I have here; and she promises to repay them very speedily. ' I wasamazed and taken aback by such a message, and turning to Senor MontesinosI asked him, 'Is it possible, Senor Montesinos, that persons ofdistinction under enchantment can be in need?' To which he replied, 'Believe me, Senor Don Quixote, that which is called need is to be metwith everywhere, and penetrates all quarters and reaches everyone, anddoes not spare even the enchanted; and as the lady Dulcinea del Tobososends to beg those six reals, and the pledge is to all appearance a goodone, there is nothing for it but to give them to her, for no doubt shemust be in some great strait. ' 'I will take no pledge of her, ' I replied, 'nor yet can I give her what she asks, for all I have is four reals;which I gave (they were those which thou, Sancho, gavest me the other dayto bestow in alms upon the poor I met along the road), and I said, 'Tellyour mistress, my dear, that I am grieved to the heart because of herdistresses, and wish I was a Fucar to remedy them, and that I would haveher know that I cannot be, and ought not be, in health while deprived ofthe happiness of seeing her and enjoying her discreet conversation, andthat I implore her as earnestly as I can, to allow herself to be seen andaddressed by this her captive servant and forlorn knight. Tell her, too, that when she least expects it she will hear it announced that I havemade an oath and vow after the fashion of that which the Marquis ofMantua made to avenge his nephew Baldwin, when he found him at the pointof death in the heart of the mountains, which was, not to eat bread off atablecloth, and other trifling matters which he added, until he hadavenged him; and I will make the same to take no rest, and to roam theseven regions of the earth more thoroughly than the Infante Don Pedro ofPortugal ever roamed them, until I have disenchanted her. ' 'All that andmore, you owe my lady, ' the damsel's answer to me, and taking the fourreals, instead of making me a curtsey she cut a caper, springing two fullyards into the air. "

"O blessed God!" exclaimed Sancho aloud at this, "is it possible thatsuch things can be in the world, and that enchanters and enchantments canhave such power in it as to have changed my master's right senses into acraze so full of absurdity! O senor, senor, for God's sake, consideryourself, have a care for your honour, and give no credit to this sillystuff that has left you scant and short of wits. "

"Thou talkest in this way because thou lovest me, Sancho, " said DonQuixote; "and not being experienced in the things of the world, everything that has some difficulty about it seems to thee impossible;but time will pass, as I said before, and I will tell thee some of thethings I saw down there which will make thee believe what I have relatednow, the truth of which admits of neither reply nor question. "

CHAPTER XXIV. 

WHEREIN ARE RELATED A THOUSAND TRIFLING MATTERS, AS TRIVIAL AS THEY ARENECESSARY TO THE RIGHT UNDERSTANDING OF THIS GREAT HISTORY

He who translated this great history from the original written by itsfirst author, Cide Hamete Benengeli, says that on coming to the chaptergiving the adventures of the cave of Montesinos he found written on themargin of it, in Hamete's own hand, these exact words:

"I cannot convince or persuade myself that everything that is written inthe preceding chapter could have precisely happened to the valiant DonQuixote; and for this reason, that all the adventures that have occurredup to the present have been possible and probable; but as for this one ofthe cave, I see no way of accepting it as true, as it passes allreasonable bounds. For me to believe that Don Quixote could lie, he beingthe most truthful gentleman and the noblest knight of his time, isimpossible; he would not have told a lie though he were shot to deathwith arrows. On the other hand, I reflect that he related and told thestory with all the circumstances detailed, and that he could not in soshort a space have fabricated such a vast complication of absurdities;if, then, this adventure seems apocryphal, it is no fault of mine; andso, without affirming its falsehood or its truth, I write it down. Decidefor thyself in thy wisdom, reader; for I am not bound, nor is it in mypower, to do more; though certain it is they say that at the time of hisdeath he retracted, and said he had invented it, thinking it matched andtallied with the adventures he had read of in his histories. " And then hegoes on to say:

The cousin was amazed as well at Sancho's boldness as at the patience ofhis master, and concluded that the good temper the latter displayed arosefrom the happiness he felt at having seen his lady Dulcinea, evenenchanted as she was; because otherwise the words and language Sancho hadaddressed to him deserved a thrashing; for indeed he seemed to him tohave been rather impudent to his master, to whom he now observed, "I, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, look upon the time I have spent intravelling with your worship as very well employed, for I have gainedfour things in the course of it; the first is that I have made youracquaintance, which I consider great good fortune; the second, that Ihave learned what the cave of Montesinos contains, together with thetransformations of Guadiana and of the lakes of Ruidera; which will be ofuse to me for the Spanish Ovid that I have in hand; the third, to havediscovered the antiquity of cards, that they were in use at least in thetime of Charlemagne, as may be inferred from the words you say Durandarteuttered when, at the end of that long spell while Montesinos was talkingto him, he woke up and said, 'Patience and shuffle. ' This phrase andexpression he could not have learned while he was enchanted, but onlybefore he had become so, in France, and in the time of the aforesaidemperor Charlemagne. And this demonstration is just the thing for me forthat other book I am writing, the 'Supplement to Polydore Vergil on theInvention of Antiquities;' for I believe he never thought of insertingthat of cards in his book, as I mean to do in mine, and it will be amatter of great importance, particularly when I can cite so grave andveracious an authority as Senor Durandarte. And the fourth thing is, thatI have ascertained the source of the river Guadiana, heretofore unknownto mankind. "

"You are right, " said Don Quixote; "but I should like to know, if byGod's favour they grant you a licence to print those books of yours-whichI doubt--to whom do you mean dedicate them?"

"There are lords and grandees in Spain to whom they can be dedicated, "said the cousin. 

"Not many, " said Don Quixote; "not that they are unworthy of it, butbecause they do not care to accept books and incur the obligation ofmaking the return that seems due to the author's labour and courtesy. Oneprince I know who makes up for all the rest, and more-how much more, if Iventured to say, perhaps I should stir up envy in many a noble breast;but let this stand over for some more convenient time, and let us go andlook for some place to shelter ourselves in to-night. "

"Not far from this, " said the cousin, "there is a hermitage, where therelives a hermit, who they say was a soldier, and who has the reputation ofbeing a good Christian and a very intelligent and charitable man. Closeto the hermitage he has a small house which he built at his own cost, butthough small it is large enough for the reception of guests. "

"Has this hermit any hens, do you think?" asked Sancho. 

"Few hermits are without them, " said Don Quixote; "for those we seenow-a-days are not like the hermits of the Egyptian deserts who were cladin palm-leaves, and lived on the roots of the earth. But do not thinkthat by praising these I am disparaging the others; all I mean to say isthat the penances of those of the present day do not come up to theasceticism and austerity of former times; but it does not follow fromthis that they are not all worthy; at least I think them so; and at theworst the hypocrite who pretends to be good does less harm than the opensinner. "

At this point they saw approaching the spot where they stood a man onfoot, proceeding at a rapid pace, and beating a mule loaded with lancesand halberds. When he came up to them, he saluted them and passed onwithout stopping. Don Quixote called to him, "Stay, good fellow; you seemto be making more haste than suits that mule. "

"I cannot stop, senor, " answered the man; "for the arms you see I carryhere are to be used tomorrow, so I must not delay; God be with you. Butif you want to know what I am carrying them for, I mean to lodge to-nightat the inn that is beyond the hermitage, and if you be going the sameroad you will find me there, and I will tell you some curious things;once more God be with you;" and he urged on his mule at such a pace thatDon Quixote had no time to ask him what these curious things were that hemeant to tell them; and as he was somewhat inquisitive, and alwaystortured by his anxiety to learn something new, he decided to set out atonce, and go and pass the night at the inn instead of stopping at thehermitage, where the cousin would have had them halt. Accordingly theymounted and all three took the direct road for the inn, which theyreached a little before nightfall. On the road the cousin proposed theyshould go up to the hermitage to drink a sup. The instant Sancho heardthis he steered his Dapple towards it, and Don Quixote and the cousin didthe same; but it seems Sancho's bad luck so ordered it that the hermitwas not at home, for so a sub-hermit they found in the hermitage toldthem. They called for some of the best. She replied that her master hadnone, but that if they liked cheap water she would give it with greatpleasure. 

"If I found any in water, " said Sancho, "there are wells along the roadwhere I could have had enough of it. Ah, Camacho's wedding, and plentifulhouse of Don Diego, how often do I miss you!"

Leaving the hermitage, they pushed on towards the inn, and a littlefarther they came upon a youth who was pacing along in front of them atno great speed, so that they overtook him. He carried a sword over hisshoulder, and slung on it a budget or bundle of his clothes apparently, probably his breeches or pantaloons, and his cloak and a shirt or two;for he had on a short jacket of velvet with a gloss like satin on it inplaces, and had his shirt out; his stockings were of silk, and his shoessquare-toed as they wear them at court. His age might have been eighteenor nineteen; he was of a merry countenance, and to all appearance of anactive habit, and he went along singing seguidillas to beguile thewearisomeness of the road. As they came up with him he was just finishingone, which the cousin got by heart and they say ran thus--

I'm off to the wars For the want of pence, Oh, had I but money I'd show more sense. 

The first to address him was Don Quixote, who said, "You travel veryairily, sir gallant; whither bound, may we ask, if it is your pleasure totell us?"

To which the youth replied, "The heat and my poverty are the reason of mytravelling so airily, and it is to the wars that I am bound. "

"How poverty?" asked Don Quixote; "the heat one can understand. "

"Senor, " replied the youth, "in this bundle I carry velvet pantaloons tomatch this jacket; if I wear them out on the road, I shall not be able tomake a decent appearance in them in the city, and I have not thewherewithal to buy others; and so for this reason, as well as to keepmyself cool, I am making my way in this fashion to overtake somecompanies of infantry that are not twelve leagues off, in which I shallenlist, and there will be no want of baggage trains to travel with afterthat to the place of embarkation, which they say will be Carthagena; Iwould rather have the King for a master, and serve him in the wars, thanserve a court pauper. "

"And did you get any bounty, now?" asked the cousin. 

"If I had been in the service of some grandee of Spain or personage ofdistinction, " replied the youth, "I should have been safe to get it; forthat is the advantage of serving good masters, that out of the servants'hall men come to be ancients or captains, or get a good pension. But I, to my misfortune, always served place-hunters and adventurers, whose keepand wages were so miserable and scanty that half went in paying for thestarching of one's collars; it would be a miracle indeed if a pagevolunteer ever got anything like a reasonable bounty. "

"And tell me, for heaven's sake, " asked Don Quixote, "is it possible, myfriend, that all the time you served you never got any livery?"

"They gave me two, " replied the page; "but just as when one quits areligious community before making profession, they strip him of the dressof the order and give him back his own clothes, so did my masters returnme mine; for as soon as the business on which they came to court wasfinished, they went home and took back the liveries they had given merelyfor show. "

"What spilorceria!--as an Italian would say, " said Don Quixote; "but forall that, consider yourself happy in having left court with as worthy anobject as you have, for there is nothing on earth more honourable orprofitable than serving, first of all God, and then one's king andnatural lord, particularly in the profession of arms, by which, if notmore wealth, at least more honour is to be won than by letters, as I havesaid many a time; for though letters may have founded more great housesthan arms, still those founded by arms have I know not what superiorityover those founded by letters, and a certain splendour belonging to themthat distinguishes them above all. And bear in mind what I am now aboutto say to you, for it will be of great use and comfort to you in time oftrouble; it is, not to let your mind dwell on the adverse chances thatmay befall you; for the worst of all is death, and if it be a good death, the best of all is to die. They asked Julius Caesar, the valiant Romanemperor, what was the best death. He answered, that which is unexpected, which comes suddenly and unforeseen; and though he answered like a pagan, and one without the knowledge of the true God, yet, as far as sparing ourfeelings is concerned, he was right; for suppose you are killed in thefirst engagement or skirmish, whether by a cannon ball or blown up bymine, what matters it? It is only dying, and all is over; and accordingto Terence, a soldier shows better dead in battle, than alive and safe inflight; and the good soldier wins fame in proportion as he is obedient tohis captains and those in command over him. And remember, my son, that itis better for the soldier to smell of gunpowder than of civet, and thatif old age should come upon you in this honourable calling, though youmay be covered with wounds and crippled and lame, it will not come uponyou without honour, and that such as poverty cannot lessen; especiallynow that provisions are being made for supporting and relieving old anddisabled soldiers; for it is not right to deal with them after thefashion of those who set free and get rid of their black slaves when theyare old and useless, and, turning them out of their houses under thepretence of making them free, make them slaves to hunger, from which theycannot expect to be released except by death. But for the present I won'tsay more than get ye up behind me on my horse as far as the inn, and supwith me there, and to-morrow you shall pursue your journey, and God giveyou as good speed as your intentions deserve. "

The page did not accept the invitation to mount, though he did that tosupper at the inn; and here they say Sancho said to himself, "God be withyou for a master; is it possible that a man who can say things so manyand so good as he has said just now, can say that he saw the impossibleabsurdities he reports about the cave of Montesinos? Well, well, we shallsee. "

And now, just as night was falling, they reached the inn, and it was notwithout satisfaction that Sancho perceived his master took it for a realinn, and not for a castle as usual. The instant they entered Don Quixoteasked the landlord after the man with the lances and halberds, and wastold that he was in the stable seeing to his mule; which was what Sanchoand the cousin proceeded to do for their beasts, giving the best mangerand the best place in the stable to Rocinante. 

CHAPTER XXV. 

WHEREIN IS SET DOWN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, AND THE DROLL ONE OF THEPUPPET-SHOWMAN, TOGETHER WITH THE MEMORABLE DIVINATIONS OF THE DIVININGAPE

Don Quixote's bread would not bake, as the common saying is, until he hadheard and learned the curious things promised by the man who carried thearms. He went to seek him where the innkeeper said he was and havingfound him, bade him say now at any rate what he had to say in answer tothe question he had asked him on the road. "The tale of my wonders mustbe taken more leisurely and not standing, " said the man; "let me finishfoddering my beast, good sir; and then I'll tell you things that willastonish you. "

"Don't wait for that, " said Don Quixote; "I'll help you in everything, "and so he did, sifting the barley for him and cleaning out the manger; adegree of humility which made the other feel bound to tell him with agood grace what he had asked; so seating himself on a bench, with DonQuixote beside him, and the cousin, the page, Sancho Panza, and thelandlord, for a senate and an audience, he began his story in this way:

"You must know that in a village four leagues and a half from this inn, it so happened that one of the regidors, by the tricks and roguery of aservant girl of his (it's too long a tale to tell), lost an ass; andthough he did all he possibly could to find it, it was all to no purpose. A fortnight might have gone by, so the story goes, since the ass had beenmissing, when, as the regidor who had lost it was standing in the plaza, another regidor of the same town said to him, 'Pay me for good news, gossip; your ass has turned up. ' 'That I will, and well, gossip, ' saidthe other; 'but tell us, where has he turned up?' 'In the forest, ' saidthe finder; 'I saw him this morning without pack-saddle or harness of anysort, and so lean that it went to one's heart to see him. I tried todrive him before me and bring him to you, but he is already so wild andshy that when I went near him he made off into the thickest part of theforest. If you have a mind that we two should go back and look for him, let me put up this she-ass at my house and I'll be back at once. ' 'Youwill be doing me a great kindness, ' said the owner of the ass, 'and I'lltry to pay it back in the same coin. ' It is with all these circumstances, and in the very same way I am telling it now, that those who know allabout the matter tell the story. Well then, the two regidors set off onfoot, arm in arm, for the forest, and coming to the place where theyhoped to find the ass they could not find him, nor was he to be seenanywhere about, search as they might. Seeing, then, that there was nosign of him, the regidor who had seen him said to the other, 'Look here, gossip; a plan has occurred to me, by which, beyond a doubt, we shallmanage to discover the animal, even if he is stowed away in the bowels ofthe earth, not to say the forest. Here it is. I can bray to perfection, and if you can ever so little, the thing's as good as done. ' 'Ever solittle did you say, gossip?' said the other; 'by God, I'll not give in toanybody, not even to the asses themselves. ' 'We'll soon see, ' said thesecond regidor, 'for my plan is that you should go one side of theforest, and I the other, so as to go all round about it; and every nowand then you will bray and I will bray; and it cannot be but that the asswill hear us, and answer us if he is in the forest. ' To which the ownerof the ass replied, 'It's an excellent plan, I declare, gossip, andworthy of your great genius;' and the two separating as agreed, it sofell out that they brayed almost at the same moment, and each, deceivedby the braying of the other, ran to look, fancying the ass had turned upat last. When they came in sight of one another, said the loser, 'Is itpossible, gossip, that it was not my ass that brayed?' 'No, it was I, 'said the other. 'Well then, I can tell you, gossip, ' said the ass'sowner, 'that between you and an ass there is not an atom of difference asfar as braying goes, for I never in all my life saw or heard anythingmore natural. ' 'Those praises and compliments belong to you more justlythan to me, gossip, ' said the inventor of the plan; 'for, by the God thatmade me, you might give a couple of brays odds to the best and mostfinished brayer in the world; the tone you have got is deep, your voiceis well kept up as to time and pitch, and your finishing notes come thickand fast; in fact, I own myself beaten, and yield the palm to you, andgive in to you in this rare accomplishment. ' 'Well then, ' said the owner, 'I'll set a higher value on myself for the future, and consider that Iknow something, as I have an excellence of some sort; for though I alwaysthought I brayed well, I never supposed I came up to the pitch ofperfection you say. ' 'And I say too, ' said the second, 'that there arerare gifts going to loss in the world, and that they are ill bestowedupon those who don't know how to make use of them. ' 'Ours, ' said theowner of the ass, 'unless it is in cases like this we have now in hand, cannot be of any service to us, and even in this God grant they may be ofsome use. ' So saying they separated, and took to their braying once more, but every instant they were deceiving one another, and coming to meet oneanother again, until they arranged by way of countersign, so as to knowthat it was they and not the ass, to give two brays, one after the other. In this way, doubling the brays at every step, they made the completecircuit of the forest, but the lost ass never gave them an answer or eventhe sign of one. How could the poor ill-starred brute have answered, when, in the thickest part of the forest, they found him devoured bywolves? As soon as he saw him his owner said, 'I was wondering he did notanswer, for if he wasn't dead he'd have brayed when he heard us, or he'dhave been no ass; but for the sake of having heard you bray to suchperfection, gossip, I count the trouble I have taken to look for him wellbestowed, even though I have found him dead. ' 'It's in a good hand, gossip, ' said the other; 'if the abbot sings well, the acolyte is notmuch behind him. ' So they returned disconsolate and hoarse to theirvillage, where they told their friends, neighbours, and acquaintanceswhat had befallen them in their search for the ass, each crying up theother's perfection in braying. The whole story came to be known andspread abroad through the villages of the neighbourhood; and the devil, who never sleeps, with his love for sowing dissensions and scatteringdiscord everywhere, blowing mischief about and making quarrels out ofnothing, contrived to make the people of the other towns fall to brayingwhenever they saw anyone from our village, as if to throw the braying ofour regidors in our teeth. Then the boys took to it, which was the samething for it as getting into the hands and mouths of all the devils ofhell; and braying spread from one town to another in such a way that themen of the braying town are as easy to be known as blacks are to be knownfrom whites, and the unlucky joke has gone so far that several times thescoffed have come out in arms and in a body to do battle with thescoffers, and neither king nor rook, fear nor shame, can mend matters. To-morrow or the day after, I believe, the men of my town, that is, ofthe braying town, are going to take the field against another village twoleagues away from ours, one of those that persecute us most; and that wemay turn out well prepared I have bought these lances and halberds youhave seen. These are the curious things I told you I had to tell, and ifyou don't think them so, I have got no others;" and with this the worthyfellow brought his story to a close. 

Just at this moment there came in at the gate of the inn a man entirelyclad in chamois leather, hose, breeches, and doublet, who said in a loudvoice, "Senor host, have you room? Here's the divining ape and the showof the Release of Melisendra just coming. "

"Ods body!" said the landlord, "why, it's Master Pedro! We're in for agrand night!" I forgot to mention that the said Master Pedro had his lefteye and nearly half his cheek covered with a patch of green taffety, showing that something ailed all that side. "Your worship is welcome, Master Pedro, " continued the landlord; "but where are the ape and theshow, for I don't see them?" "They are close at hand, " said he in thechamois leather, "but I came on first to know if there was any room. ""I'd make the Duke of Alva himself clear out to make room for MasterPedro, " said the landlord; "bring in the ape and the show; there'scompany in the inn to-night that will pay to see that and the clevernessof the ape. " "So be it by all means, " said the man with the patch; "I'lllower the price, and be well satisfied if I only pay my expenses; and nowI'll go back and hurry on the cart with the ape and the show;" and withthis he went out of the inn. 

Don Quixote at once asked the landlord what this Master Pedro was, andwhat was the show and what was the ape he had with him; which thelandlord replied, "This is a famous puppet-showman, who for some timepast has been going about this Mancha de Aragon, exhibiting a show of therelease of Melisendra by the famous Don Gaiferos, one of the best andbest-represented stories that have been seen in this part of the kingdomfor many a year; he has also with him an ape with the most extraordinarygift ever seen in an ape or imagined in a human being; for if you ask himanything, he listens attentively to the question, and then jumps on hismaster's shoulder, and pressing close to his ear tells him the answerwhich Master Pedro then delivers. He says a great deal more about thingspast than about things to come; and though he does not always hit thetruth in every case, most times he is not far wrong, so that he makes usfancy he has got the devil in him. He gets two reals for every questionif the ape answers; I mean if his master answers for him after he haswhispered into his ear; and so it is believed that this same Master Pedrois very rich. He is a 'gallant man' as they say in Italy, and goodcompany, and leads the finest life in the world; talks more than six, drinks more than a dozen, and all by his tongue, and his ape, and hisshow. "

Master Pedro now came back, and in a cart followed the show and theape--a big one, without a tail and with buttocks as bare as felt, but notvicious-looking. As soon as Don Quixote saw him, he asked him, "Can youtell me, sir fortune-teller, what fish do we catch, and how will it bewith us? See, here are my two reals, " and he bade Sancho give them toMaster Pedro; but he answered for the ape and said, "Senor, this animaldoes not give any answer or information touching things that are to come;of things past he knows something, and more or less of things present. "

"Gad, " said Sancho, "I would not give a farthing to be told what's pastwith me, for who knows that better than I do myself? And to pay for beingtold what I know would be mighty foolish. But as you know things present, here are my two reals, and tell me, most excellent sir ape, what is mywife Teresa Panza doing now, and what is she diverting herself with?"

Master Pedro refused to take the money, saying, "I will not receivepayment in advance or until the service has been first rendered;" andthen with his right hand he gave a couple of slaps on his left shoulder, and with one spring the ape perched himself upon it, and putting hismouth to his master's ear began chattering his teeth rapidly; and havingkept this up as long as one would be saying a credo, with another springhe brought himself to the ground, and the same instant Master Pedro ranin great haste and fell upon his knees before Don Quixote, and embracinghis legs exclaimed, "These legs do I embrace as I would embrace the twopillars of Hercules, O illustrious reviver of knight-errantry, so longconsigned to oblivion! O never yet duly extolled knight, Don Quixote ofLa Mancha, courage of the faint-hearted, prop of the tottering, arm ofthe fallen, staff and counsel of all who are unfortunate!"

Don Quixote was thunderstruck, Sancho astounded, the cousin staggered, the page astonished, the man from the braying town agape, the landlord inperplexity, and, in short, everyone amazed at the words of thepuppet-showman, who went on to say, "And thou, worthy Sancho Panza, thebest squire and squire to the best knight in the world! Be of good cheer, for thy good wife Teresa is well, and she is at this moment hackling apound of flax; and more by token she has at her left hand a jug with abroken spout that holds a good drop of wine, with which she solacesherself at her work. "

"That I can well believe, " said Sancho. "She is a lucky one, and if itwas not for her jealousy I would not change her for the giantessAndandona, who by my master's account was a very clever and worthy woman;my Teresa is one of those that won't let themselves want for anything, though their heirs may have to pay for it. "

"Now I declare, " said Don Quixote, "he who reads much and travels muchsees and knows a great deal. I say so because what amount of persuasioncould have persuaded me that there are apes in the world that can divineas I have seen now with my own eyes? For I am that very Don Quixote of LaMancha this worthy animal refers to, though he has gone rather too far inmy praise; but whatever I may be, I thank heaven that it has endowed mewith a tender and compassionate heart, always disposed to do good to alland harm to none. "

"If I had money, " said the page, "I would ask senor ape what will happenme in the peregrination I am making. "

To this Master Pedro, who had by this time risen from Don Quixote's feet, replied, "I have already said that this little beast gives no answer asto the future; but if he did, not having money would be of noconsequence, for to oblige Senor Don Quixote, here present, I would giveup all the profits in the world. And now, because I have promised it, andto afford him pleasure, I will set up my show and offer entertainment toall who are in the inn, without any charge whatever. " As soon as he heardthis, the landlord, delighted beyond measure, pointed out a place wherethe show might be fixed, which was done at once. 

Don Quixote was not very well satisfied with the divinations of the ape, as he did not think it proper that an ape should divine anything, eitherpast or future; so while Master Pedro was arranging the show, he retiredwith Sancho into a corner of the stable, where, without being overheardby anyone, he said to him, "Look here, Sancho, I have been seriouslythinking over this ape's extraordinary gift, and have come to theconclusion that beyond doubt this Master Pedro, his master, has a pact, tacit or express, with the devil. "

"If the packet is express from the devil, " said Sancho, "it must be avery dirty packet no doubt; but what good can it do Master Pedro to havesuch packets?"

"Thou dost not understand me, Sancho, " said Don Quixote; "I only mean hemust have made some compact with the devil to infuse this power into theape, that he may get his living, and after he has grown rich he will givehim his soul, which is what the enemy of mankind wants; this I am led tobelieve by observing that the ape only answers about things past orpresent, and the devil's knowledge extends no further; for the future heknows only by guesswork, and that not always; for it is reserved for Godalone to know the times and the seasons, and for him there is neitherpast nor future; all is present. This being as it is, it is clear thatthis ape speaks by the spirit of the devil; and I am astonished they havenot denounced him to the Holy Office, and put him to the question, andforced it out of him by whose virtue it is that he divines; because it iscertain this ape is not an astrologer; neither his master nor he sets up, or knows how to set up, those figures they call judiciary, which are nowso common in Spain that there is not a jade, or page, or old cobbler, that will not undertake to set up a figure as readily as pick up a knaveof cards from the ground, bringing to nought the marvellous truth of thescience by their lies and ignorance. I know of a lady who asked one ofthese figure schemers whether her little lap-dog would be in pup andwould breed, and how many and of what colour the little pups would be. Towhich senor astrologer, after having set up his figure, made answer thatthe bitch would be in pup, and would drop three pups, one green, anotherbright red, and the third parti-coloured, provided she conceived betweeneleven and twelve either of the day or night, and on a Monday orSaturday; but as things turned out, two days after this the bitch died ofa surfeit, and senor planet-ruler had the credit all over the place ofbeing a most profound astrologer, as most of these planet-rulers have. "

"Still, " said Sancho, "I would be glad if your worship would make MasterPedro ask his ape whether what happened your worship in the cave ofMontesinos is true; for, begging your worship's pardon, I, for my part, take it to have been all flam and lies, or at any rate something youdreamt. "

"That may be, " replied Don Quixote; "however, I will do what you suggest;though I have my own scruples about it. "

At this point Master Pedro came up in quest of Don Quixote, to tell himthe show was now ready and to come and see it, for it was worth seeing. Don Quixote explained his wish, and begged him to ask his ape at once totell him whether certain things which had happened to him in the cave ofMontesinos were dreams or realities, for to him they appeared to partakeof both. Upon this Master Pedro, without answering, went back to fetchthe ape, and, having placed it in front of Don Quixote and Sancho, said:"See here, senor ape, this gentleman wishes to know whether certainthings which happened to him in the cave called the cave of Montesinoswere false or true. " On his making the usual sign the ape mounted on hisleft shoulder and seemed to whisper in his ear, and Master Pedro said atonce, "The ape says that the things you saw or that happened to you inthat cave are, part of them false, part true; and that he only knows thisand no more as regards this question; but if your worship wishes to knowmore, on Friday next he will answer all that may be asked him, for hisvirtue is at present exhausted, and will not return to him till Friday, as he has said. "

"Did I not say, senor, " said Sancho, "that I could not bring myself tobelieve that all your worship said about the adventures in the cave wastrue, or even the half of it?"

"The course of events will tell, Sancho, " replied Don Quixote; "time, that discloses all things, leaves nothing that it does not drag into thelight of day, though it be buried in the bosom of the earth. But enoughof that for the present; let us go and see Master Pedro's show, for I amsure there must be something novel in it. "

"Something!" said Master Pedro; "this show of mine has sixty thousandnovel things in it; let me tell you, Senor Don Quixote, it is one of thebest-worth-seeing things in the world this day; but operibus credite etnon verbis, and now let's get to work, for it is growing late, and wehave a great deal to do and to say and show. "

Don Quixote and Sancho obeyed him and went to where the show was alreadyput up and uncovered, set all around with lighted wax tapers which madeit look splendid and bright. When they came to it Master Pedro ensconcedhimself inside it, for it was he who had to work the puppets, and a boy, a servant of his, posted himself outside to act as showman and explainthe mysteries of the exhibition, having a wand in his hand to point tothe figures as they came out. And so, all who were in the inn beingarranged in front of the show, some of them standing, and Don Quixote, Sancho, the page, and cousin, accommodated with the best places, theinterpreter began to say what he will hear or see who reads or hears thenext chapter.