THE HAPPY UNFORTUNATE By ROBERT SILVERBERG _Dekker, back from space, found great physical changes in the people of Earth; changes that would have horrified him five years before. But now, he wanted to be like the rest--even if he had to lose an eye and both ears to do it. _ Rolf Dekker stared incredulously at the slim, handsome young Earther whowas approaching the steps of Rolf's tumbling-down Spacertown shack. _He's got no ears_, Rolf noted in unbelief. After five years in space, Rolf had come home to a strangely-altered world, and he found it hard toaccept. Another Earther appeared. This one was about the same size, and gave thesame impression of fragility. This one had ears, all right--and a pairof gleaming, two-inch horns on his forehead as well. _I'll be eternallyroasted_, Rolf thought. _Now I've seen everything. _ Both Earthers were dressed in neat, gold-inlaid green tunics, costumeswhich looked terribly out of place amid the filth of Spacertown, andtheir hair was dyed a light green to match. He had been scrutinizing them for several moments before they becameaware of him. They both spotted him at once and the one with no earsturned to his companion and whispered something. Rolf, leaning forward, strained to hear. "... Beautiful, isn't he? That's the biggest one I've seen!" "Come over here, won't you?" the horned one called, in a soft, gentlevoice which contrasted oddly with the raucous bellowing Rolf had beenaccustomed to hearing in space. "We'd like to talk to you. " Just then Kanaday emerged from the door of the shack and limped downto the staircase. [Illustration: The doctor refused to change Dekker, so Dekker was goingto change the doctor. ] "Hey, Rolf!" he called. "Leave those things alone!" "Let me find out what they want first, huh?" "Can't be any good, whatever it is, " Kanaday growled. "Tell them to getout of here before I throw them back to wherever they came from. Andmake it fast. " * * * * * The two Earthers looked at each other uneasily. Rolf walked toward them. "He doesn't like Earthers, that's all, " Rolf explained. "But he won't doanything but yell. " Kanaday spat in disgust, turned, and limped back inside the shack. "I didn't know you were wearing horns, " Rolf said. The Earther flushed. "New style, " he said. "Very expensive. " "Oh, " Rolf said. "I'm new here; I just got back. Five years in space. When I left you people looked all alike. Now you wear horns. " "It's the new trend, " said the earless one. "We're Individs. When youleft the Conforms were in power, style-wise. But the new surgeons can doalmost anything, you see. " The shadow of a frown crossed Rolf's face. "Anything?" "Almost. They can't transform an Earther into a Spacer, and they don'tthink they ever will. " "Or vice versa?" Rolf asked. They sniggered. "What Spacer would want to become an Earther? Who wouldgive up that life, out in the stars?" Rolf said nothing. He kicked at the heap of litter in the filthy street. _What spacer indeed?_ he thought. He suddenly realized that the twolittle Earthers were staring up at him as if he were some sort of beast. He probably weighed as much as both of them, he knew, and at six-four hewas better than a foot taller. They looked like children next to him, like toys. The savage blast of acceleration would snap their flimsybodies like toothpicks. "What places have you been to?" the earless one asked. "Two years on Mars, one on Venus, one in the Belt, one on Neptune, " Rolfrecited. "I didn't like Neptune. It was best in the Belt; just our oneship, prospecting. We made a pile on Ceres--enough to buy out. I shothalf of it on Neptune. Still have plenty left, but I don't know what Ican do with it. " He didn't add that he had come home puzzled, wonderingwhy he was a Spacer instead of an Earther, condemned to live in filthySpacertown when Yawk was just across the river. They were looking at his shabby clothes, at the dirty brownstone hovelhe lived in--an antique of a house four or five centuries old. "You mean you're rich?" the Earther said. "Sure, " Rolf said. "Every Spacer is. So what? What can I spend it on? Mymoney's banked on Mars and Venus. Thanks to the law I can't legally getit to Earth. So I live in Spacertown. " "Have you ever seen an Earther city?" the earless one asked, lookingaround at the quiet streets of Spacertown with big powerful men sittingidly in front of every house. "I used to live in Yawk, " Rolf said. "My grandmother was an Earther; shebrought me up there. I haven't been back there since I left for space. "_They forced me out of Yawk_, he thought. _I'm not part of theirspecies. Not one of them. _ * * * * * The two Earthers exchanged glances. "Can we interest you in a suggestion?" They drew in their breath as ifthey expected to be knocked sprawling. Kanaday appeared at the door of the shack again. "Rolf. Hey! You turning into an Earther? Get rid of them two cutiesbefore there's trouble. " Rolf turned and saw a little knot of Spacers standing on the other sideof the street, watching him with curiosity. He glared at them. "I'll do whatever I damn well please, " he shouted across. He turned back to the two Earthers. "Now, what is it you want?" "I'm giving a party next week, " the earless one said. "I'd like you tocome. We'd like to get the Spacer slant on life. " "Party?" Rolf repeated. "You mean, dancing, and games, and stuff likethat?" "You'll enjoy it, " the Earther said coaxingly. "And we'd all love tohave a real Spacer there. " "When is it?" "A week. " "I have ten days left of my leave. All right, " he said. "I'll come. " He accepted the Earther's card, looked at it mechanically, saw thename--Kal Quinton--and pocketed it. "Sure, " he said. "I'll be there. " The Earthers moved toward their little jetcar, smiling gratefully. AsRolf crossed the street, the other Spacers greeted him with cold, puzzled stares. * * * * * Kanaday was almost as tall as Rolf, and even uglier. Rolf's eyebrowswere bold and heavy; Kanaday's, thick, contorted, bushy clumps of hair. Kanaday's nose had been broken long before in some barroom brawl; hischeekbones bulged; his face was strong and hard. More important, hisleft foot was twisted and gnarled beyond hope of redemption by the mostskillful surgeon. He had been crippled in a jet explosion three yearsbefore, and was of no use to the Spacelines any more. They had pensionedhim off. Part of the deal was the dilapidated old house in Spacertownwhich he operated as a boarding-house for transient Spacers. "What do you want to do that for?" Kanaday asked. "Haven't thoseEarthers pushed you around enough, so you have to go dance at one oftheir wild parties?" "Leave me alone, " Rolf muttered. "You like this filth you live in? Spacertown is just a ghetto, that'sall. The Earthers have pushed you right into the muck. You're not evena human being to them--just some sort of trained ape. And now you'regoing to go and entertain them. I thought you had brains, Rolf!" "Shut up!" He dashed his glass against the table; it bounced off anddropped to the floor, where it shattered. Kanaday's girl Laney entered the room at the sound of the crash. She wastall and powerful-looking, with straight black hair and the strongcheekbones that characterized the Spacers. Immediately she stooped andbegan shoveling up the broken glass. "That wasn't smart, Rolf, " she said. "That'll cost you half a credit. Wasn't worth it, was it?" Rolf laid the coin on the edge of the table. "Tell your pal to shut up, then. If he doesn't stop icing me I'll fix his other foot for him andyou can buy him a dolly. " She looked from one to the other. "What's bothering you two now?" "A couple of Earthers were here this morning, " Kanaday said. "Slumming. They took a fancy to our young friend here and invited him to one oftheir parties. He accepted. " "He _what_? Don't go, Rolf. You're crazy to go. " "Why am I crazy?" He tried to control his voice. "Why should we keepourselves apart from the Earthers? Why shouldn't the two races gettogether?" * * * * * She put down her tray and sat next to him. "They're more than tworaces, " she said patiently. "Earther and Spacer are two differentspecies, Rolf. Carefully, genetically separated. They're small and weak, we're big and powerful. You've been bred for going to space; they're thecastoffs, the ones who were too weak to go. The line between the twogroups is too strong to break. " "And they treat us like dirt--like animals, " Kanaday said. "But_they're_ the dirt. They were the ones who couldn't make it. " "Don't go to the party, " Laney said. "They just want to make fun of you. Look at the big ape, they'll say. " Rolf stood up. "You don't understand. Neither of you does. I'm partEarther, " Rolf said. "My grandmother on my mother's side. She raised meas an Earther. She wanted me to be an Earther. But I kept getting biggerand uglier all the time. She took me to a plastic surgeon once, figuringhe could make me look like an Earther. He was a little man; I don't knowwhat he looked like to start with but some other surgeon had made himclean-cut and straight-nosed and thin-lipped like all the otherEarthers. I was bigger than he was--twice as big, and I was onlyfifteen. He looked at me and felt my bones and measured me. 'Healthylittle ape'--those were the words he used. He told my grandmother I'dget bigger and bigger, that no amount of surgery could make me small andhandsome, that I was fit only for space and didn't belong in Yawk. So Ileft for space the next morning. " "I see, " Laney said quietly. "I didn't say good-bye. I just left. There was no place for me in Yawk;I couldn't pass myself off as an Earther any more. But I'd like to goback and see what the old life was like, now that I know what it's liketo be on the other side for a while. " "It'll hurt when you find out, Rolf. " "I'll take that chance. But I want to go. Maybe my grandmother'll bethere. The surgeons made her young and pretty again every few years; shelooked like my sister when I left. " Laney nodded her head. "There's no point arguing with him, Kanaday. Hehas to go back there and find out, so let him alone. " Rolf smiled. "Thanks for understanding. " He took out Quinton's card andturned it over and over in his hand. * * * * * Rolf went to Yawk on foot, dressed in his best clothes, with his face asclean as it had been in some years. Spacertown was just across the riverfrom Yawk, and the bridges spanning the river were bright and gleamingin the mid-afternoon sun. The bombs had landed on Yawk during the long-forgotten war, but somehowthey had spared the sprawling borough across the river. And so Yawk hadbeen completely rebuilt, once the radioactivity had been purged from theland, while what was now Spacertown consisted mostly of buildings thatdated back to the Twentieth Century. Yawk had been the world's greatest seaport; now it was the world'sgreatest spaceport. The sky was thick with incoming and outgoing liners. The passengers on the ship usually stayed at Yawk, which had become aneven greater metropolis than it had been before the Bomb. The crewcrossed the river to Spacertown, where they could find their own kind. Yawk and Spacertown were like two separate planets. There were threebridges spanning the river, but most of the time they went unused, except by spacemen going back home or by spacemen going to the spaceportfor embarkation. There was no regular transportation between the twocities; to get from Spacertown to Yawk, you could borrow a jetcar or youcould walk. Rolf walked. He enjoyed the trip. _I'm going back home_, he thought as he paced alongthe gleaming arc of the bridge, dressed in his Sunday best. Heremembered the days of his own childhood, his parentless childhood. Hisearliest memory was of a fight at the age of six or so. He had stood offwhat seemed like half the neighborhood, ending the battle by picking upan older bully, much feared by everyone, and heaving him over a fence. When he told his grandmother about the way he had won the fight shecried for an hour, and never told him why. But they had never picked onhim again, though he knew the other boys had jeered at him behind hisback as he grew bigger and bigger over the years. "Ape, " they calledhim. "Ape. " But never to his face. He approached the Yawk end of the bridge. A guard was waiting there--anEarther guard, small and frail, but with a sturdy-looking blaster at hiship. "Going back, Spacer?" Rolf started. How did the guard know? And then he realized that all theguard meant was, are you going back to your ship? "No. No, I'm going to a party. Kal Quinton's house. " "Tell me another, Spacer. " The guard's voice was light and derisive. Aswift poke in the ribs would break him in half, Rolf thought. "I'm serious. Quinton invited me. Here's his card. " "If this is a joke it'll mean trouble. But go ahead; I'll take your wordfor it. " Rolf marched on past the guard, almost nonchalantly. He looked at theaddress on the card. _12406 Kenman Road. _ He rooted around in his fadingmemory of Yawk, but he found the details had blurred under the impact offive years of Mars and Venus and the Belt and Neptune. He did not knowwhere Kenman Road was. The glowing street signs were not much help either. One said 287thStreet and the other said 72nd Avenue. Kenman Road might be anywhere. He walked on a block or two. The streets were antiseptically clean, andhe had the feeling that his boots, which had lately trod in Spacertown, were leaving dirtmarks along the street. He did not look back to see. * * * * * He looked at his wristchron. It was getting late, and Kenman Road mightbe anywhere. He turned into a busy thoroughfare, conscious that he wasattracting attention. The streets here were crowded with little peoplewho barely reached his chest; they were all about the same height, andmost of them looked alike. A few had had radical surgical alterations, and every one of these was different. One had a unicorn-like horn;another, an extra eye which cunningly resembled his real ones. TheEarthers were looking at him furtively, as they would at a tiger or anelephant strolling down a main street. "Where are you going, Spacer?" said a voice from the middle of thestreet. Rolf's first impulse was to snarl out a curse and keep moving, but herealized that the question was a good one and one whose answer he wastrying to find out for himself. He turned. Another policeman stood on the edge of the walkway. "Are you lost?" Thepoliceman was short and delicate-looking. Rolf produced his card. The policeman studied it. "What business do you have with Quinton?" "Just tell me how to get there, " Rolf said. "I'm in a hurry. " The policeman backed up a step. "All right, take it easy. " He pointed toa kiosk. "Take the subcar here. There's a stop at Kenman Road. You canfind your way from there. " "I'd rather walk it, " Rolf said. He did not want to have to stand thestrain of riding in a subcar with a bunch of curious staring Earthers. "Fine with me, " the policeman said. "It's about two hundred blocks tothe north. Got a good pair of legs?" "Never mind, " Rolf said. "I'll take the subcar. " * * * * * Kenman Road was a quiet little street in an expensive-looking end ofYawk. 12406 was a towering building which completely overshadowedeverything else on the street. As Rolf entered the door, a perfumedlittle Earther with a flashing diamond where his left eye should havebeen and a skin stained bright purple appeared from nowhere. "We've been waiting for you. Come on; Kal will be delighted that you'rehere. " The elevator zoomed up so quickly that Rolf thought for a moment that hewas back in space. But it stopped suddenly at the 62nd floor, and, asthe door swung open, the sounds of wild revelry drifted down the hall. Rolf had a brief moment of doubt when he pictured Laney and Kanaday atthis very moment, playing cards in their mouldering hovel while hewalked down this plastiline corridor back into a world he had leftbehind. Quinton came out into the hall to greet him. Rolf recognized him by themissing ears; his skin was now a subdued blue to go with his orangerobe. "I'm so glad you came, " the little Earther bubbled. "Come on in and I'llintroduce you to everyone. " The door opened photoelectrically as they approached. Quinton seized himby the hand and dragged him in. There was the sound of laughter and ofshouting. As he entered it all stopped, suddenly, as if it had been shutoff. Rolf stared at them quizzically from under his lowering brows, andthey looked at him with ill-concealed curiosity. They seemed divided into two groups. Clustered at one end of the longhall was a group of Earthers who seemed completely identical, all withthe same features, looking like so many dolls in a row. These were theEarthers he remembered, the ones whom the plastic surgeons had hacked atand hewn until they all conformed to the prevailing concept of beauty. Then at the other end was a different group. They were all different. Some had glittering jewels set in their foreheads, others had no lips, no hair, extra eyes, three nostrils. They were a weird and frighteninggroup, highest product of the plastic surgeon's art. Both groups were staring silently at Rolf. "Friends, this is Rolf--Rolf--" "Dekker, " Rolf said after a pause. He had almost forgotten his own lastname. "Rolf Dekker, just back from outer space. I've invited him to join ustonight. I think you'll enjoy meeting him. " The stony silence slowly dissolved into murmurs of polite conversationas the party-goers adjusted to the presence of the newcomer. Theyseemed to be discussing the matter earnestly among themselves, as ifQuinton had done something unheard-of by bringing a Spacer into anEarther party. A tall girl with blonde hair drifted up to him. "Ah. Jonne, " Quinton said. He turned to Rolf. "This is Jonne. She askedto be your companion at the party. She's very interested in space andthings connected with it. " Things connected with it, Rolf thought. Meaning me. He looked at her. She was as tall an Earther as he had yet seen, and probably suffered forit when there were no Spacers around. Furthermore, he suspected, herheight was accentuated for the evening by special shoes. She was not ofthe Individ persuasion, because her face was well-shaped, with smooth, even features, with no individualist distortion. Her skin was unstained. She wore a clinging off-the-breast tunic. Quite a dish, Rolf decided. Hebegan to see that he might enjoy this party. * * * * * The other guests began to approach timidly, now that the initial shockof his presence had worn off. They asked silly little questions aboutspace--questions which showed that they had only a superficial interestin him and were treating him as a sort of talking dog. He answered asmany as he could, looking down at their little painted faces withconcealed contempt. _They think as little of me as I do of them. _ The thought hit himsuddenly and his broad face creased in a smile at the irony. Then themusic started. * * * * * The knot of Earthers slowly broke up and drifted away to dance. Helooked at Jonne, who had stood patiently at his side through all this. "I don't dance, " he said. "I never learned how. " He watched the othercouples moving gracefully around the floor, looking for all the worldlike an assemblage of puppets. He stared in the dim light, watching thecouples clinging to each other as they rocked through the motions of thedance. He stood against the wall, wearing his ugliness like a shield. Hesaw the great gulf which separated him from the Earthers spreadingbefore him, as he watched the dancers and the gay chatter and the emptybadinage and the furtive hand-holding, and everything else from which hewas cut off. The bizarre Individs were dancing together--he noticed oneman putting an extra arm to full advantage--and the almost identicalConforms had formed their own group again. Rolf wondered how they toldeach other apart when they all looked alike. "Come on, " Jonne said. "I'll show you how to dance. " He turned to lookat her, with her glossy blonde hair and even features. She smiledprettily, revealing white teeth. _Probably newly purchased?_ Rolfwondered. "Actually I do know how to dance, " Rolf said. "But I do it so badly--" "That doesn't matter, " she said gaily. "Come on. " She took his arm. Maybe she doesn't think I look like an ape, hethought. She doesn't treat me the way the others do. But why am I sougly, and why is she so pretty? He looked at her and she looked at him, and he felt her glance on hisstubbly face with its ferocious teeth and burning yellowish eyes. Hedidn't want her to see him at all; he wished he had no face. He folded her in his arms, feeling her warmth radiate through him. Shewas very tall, he realized, almost as tall as a Spacer woman--but withnone of the harsh ruggedness of the women of Spacertown. They danced, she well, he clumsily. When the music stopped she guided him to theentrance of a veranda. They walked outside into the cool night air. The lights of the cityobscured most of the stars, but a few still showed, and the moon hunghigh above Yawk. He could dimly make out the lights of Spacertown acrossthe river, and he thought again of Laney and Kanaday and wished Kanadaycould see him now with this beautiful Earther next to him. "You must get lonely in space, " she said after a while. "I do, " he said, trying to keep his voice gentle. "But it's where Ibelong. I'm bred for it. " She nodded. "Yes. And any of those so-called men inside would give tenyears of his life to be able to go to space. But yet you say it'slonely. " * * * * * "Those long rides through the night, " he said. "They get you down. Youwant to be back among people. So you come back. You come back. And whatdo you come back to?" "I know, " she said softly. "I've seen Spacertown. " "Why must it be that way?" he demanded. "Why are Spacers so lucky andso wretched all at once?" "Let's not talk about it now, " she said. I'd like to kiss her, he thought. But my face is rough, and I'm roughand ugly, and she'd push me away. I remember the pretty little Earthergirls who ran laughing away from me when I was thirteen and fourteen, before I went to space. "You don't have to be lonely, " she said. One of her perfect eyebrowslifted just a little. "Maybe someday you'll find someone who cares, Rolf. Someday, maybe. " "Yeah, " he said. "Someday, maybe. " But he knew it was all wrong. Couldhe bring this girl to Spacertown with him? No; she must be merelyplaying a game, looking for an evening's diversion. Something new: makelove to a Spacer. They fell silent and he watched her again, and she watched him. He heardher breath rising and falling evenly, not at all like his own thickgasps. After a while he stepped close to her, put his arm around her, tilted her head into the crook of his elbow, bent, and kissed her. As he did it, he saw he was botching it just like everything else. Hehad come too close, and his heavy boot was pressing on the tip of hershoe; and he had not quite landed square on her lips. But still, he wasclose to her. He was reluctant to break it up, but he felt she was onlyhalf-responding, not giving anything of herself while he had given all. He drew back a step. She did not have time to hide the expression of distaste thatinvoluntarily crossed her face. He watched the expression on her face asshe realized the kiss was over. He watched her silently. "Someday, maybe, " he said. She stared at him, not hiding the fear thatwas starting to grow on her face. He felt a cold chill deep in his stomach, and it grew until it passedthrough his throat and into his head. "Yeah, " he said. "Someday, maybe. But not you. Not anyone who's justplaying games. That's all--you want something to tell your friendsabout, that's why you volunteered for tonight's assignment. It's all youcan do to keep from laughing at me, but you're sticking to it. I don'twant any of it, hear me? Get away. " She stepped back a pace. "You ugly, clumsy clown. You ape!" Tears beganto spoil the flawless mask of her face. Blinded with anger, he grabbedroughly for her arm, but she broke away and dashed back inside. She was trying to collect me, he thought. Her hobby: interesting dates. She wanted to add me to her collection. An Experience. Calmly he walkedto the end of the veranda and stared off into the night, choking hisrage. He watched the moon making its dead ride across the sky, andstared at the sprinkling of stars. The night was empty and cold, hethought, finally. But not more so than I. * * * * * He turned and looked back through the half-opened window. He saw a girlwho looked almost like her, but was not tall enough and wore a differentdress. Then he spotted her. She was dancing with one of the Conforms, afrail-looking man a few inches shorter than she, with regular, handsomefeatures. She laughed at some sly joke, and he laughed with her. Rolf watched the moon for a moment more, thinking of Laney's warning. _They just want to make fun of you. Look at the big ape, they'll say. _ He knew he had to get out of there immediately. He was a Spacer, andthey were Earthers, and he scorned them for being contemptuous littledolls, and they laughed at him for being a hulking ape. He was not amember of their species; he was not part of their world. He went inside. Kal Quinton came rushing up to him. "I'm going, " Rolf said. "What? You don't mean that, " the little man said. "Why, the party'sscarcely gotten under way, and there are dozens of people who want tomeet you. And you'll miss the big show if you don't stay. " "I've already seen the big show, " Rolf told him. "I want out. Now. " "You can't leave now, " Quinton said. Rolf thought he saw tears in thecorners of the little man's eyes. "Please don't leave. I've toldeveryone you'd be here--you'll disgrace me. " "What do I care? Let me out of here. " Rolf started to move toward thedoor. Quinton attempted to push him back. "Just a minute, Rolf. Please!" "I have to get out, " he said. He knocked Quinton out of his way with abackhand swipe of his arm and dashed down the hall frantically, lookingfor the elevator. * * * * * Laney and Kanaday were sitting up waiting for him when he got back, early in the morning. He slung himself into a pneumochair and unsealedhis boots, releasing his cramped, tired feet. "Well, " Laney asked. "How was the party?" "You have fun among the Earthers, Rolf?" He said nothing. "It couldn't have been that bad, " Laney said. Rolf looked up at her. "I'm leaving space. I'm going to go to a surgeonand have him turn me into an Earther. I hate this filthy life!" "He's drunk, " Kanaday said. "No, I'm not drunk, " Rolf retorted. "I don't want to be an ape anymore. " "Is that what you are? If you're an ape, what are they to you? Monkeys?"Kanaday laughed harshly. "Are they really so wonderful?" Laney asked. "Does the life appeal toyou so much that you'll give up space for it? Do you admire the Earthersso much?" * * * * * _She's got me_, Rolf thought. I hate Spacertown, but will I like Yawkany better? Do I really want to become one of those little puppets? Butthere's nothing left in space for me. At least the Earthers are happy. _I wish she wouldn't look at me that way. _ "Leave me alone, " he snarled. "I'll do whatever I want to do. " Laney was staring at him, trying topoke behind his mask of anger. He looked at her wide shoulders, hermuscular frame, her unbeautiful hair and rugged face, and compared itwith Jonne's clinging grace, her flowing gold hair. He picked up his boots and stumped up to bed. * * * * * The surgeon's name was Goldring, and he was a wiry, intense man who hadprevailed on one of his colleagues to give him a tiny slit of a mouth. He sat behind a shining plastiline desk, waiting patiently until Rolffinished talking. "It can't be done, " he said at last. "Plastic surgeons can do almostanything, but I can't turn you into an Earther. It's not just a matterof chopping eight or ten inches out of your legs; I'd have to alter yourentire bone structure or you'd be a hideous misproportioned monstrosity. And it can't be done. I can't build you a whole new body from scratch, and if I could do it you wouldn't be able to afford it. " Rolf stamped his foot impatiently. "You're the third surgeon who's givenme the same line. What is this--a conspiracy? I see what you can do. Ifyou can graft a third arm onto somebody, you can turn me into anEarther. " "Please, Mr. Dekker. I've told you I can't. But I don't understand whyyou want such a change. Hardly a week goes by without some Yawk boycoming to me and asking to be turned into a Spacer, and I have to refusehim for the same reasons I'm refusing you! That's the usual course ofevents--the romantic Earther boy wanting to go to space, and not beingable to. " An idea hit Rolf. "Was one of them Kal Quinton?" "I'm sorry, Mr. Dekker. I just can't divulge any such information. " Rolf shot his arm across the desk and grasped the surgeon by the throat. "Answer me!" "Yes, " the surgeon gasped. "Quinton asked me for such an operation. Almost everyone wants one. " "And you can't do it?" Rolf asked. "Of course not. I've told you: the amount of work needed to turn Eartherinto Spacer or Spacer into Earther is inconceivable. It'll never bedone. " "I guess that's definite, then, " Rolf said, slumping a little indisappointment. "But there's nothing to prevent you from giving me a newface--from taking away this face and replacing it with something peoplecan look at without shuddering. " "I don't understand you, Mr. Dekker, " the surgeon said. "I know that! Can't you see it--I'm _ugly_! Why? Why should I look thisway?" "Please calm down, Mr. Dekker. You don't seem to realize that you're aperfectly normal-looking Spacer. _You were bred to look this way. _ It'syour genetic heritage. Space is not a thing for everyone; only men withextraordinary bone structure can withstand acceleration. The first menwere carefully selected and bred. You see the result of five centuriesof this sort of breeding. The sturdy, heavy-boned Spacers--you, Mr. Dekker, and your friends--are the only ones who are fit to travel inspace. The others, the weaklings like myself, the little people, resortto plastic surgery to compensate for their deficiency. For a while thetrend was to have everyone conform to a certain standard of beauty; ifwe couldn't be strong, we could at least be handsome. Lately a newtheory of individualism has sprung up, and now we strive for originalforms in our bodies. This is all because size and strength has been bredout of us and given to you. " "I know all this, " Rolf said. "Why can't you--" "Why can't I peel away your natural face and make you look like anEarther? There's no reason why; it would be a simple operation. But whowould you fool? Why can't you be grateful for what you are? You can goto Mars, while we can merely look at it. If I gave you a new face, itwould cut you off from both sides. The Earthers would still know youwere a Spacer, and I'm sure the other Spacers would immediately cease toassociate with you. " * * * * * "Who are you to say? You're not supposed to pass judgment on whether anoperation should be performed, or you wouldn't pull out people's eyesand stick diamonds in!" "It's not that, Mr. Dekker. " The surgeon folded and unfolded his handsin impatience. "You must realize that you are what you are. Yourappearance is a social norm, and for acceptance in your socialenvironment you must continue to appear, well, perhaps, shall I sayapelike?" It was as bad a word as the surgeon could have chosen. "Ape! Ape, am I! I'll show you who's an ape!" Rolf yelled, all theaccumulated frustration of the last two days suddenly bursting loose. Heleaped up and overturned the desk. Dr. Goldring hastily jumped backwardsas the heavy desk crashed to the floor. A startled nurse dashed into theoffice, saw the situation, and immediately ran out. "Give me your instruments! I'll operate on myself!" He knocked Goldringagainst the wall, pulled down a costly solidograph from the wall andkicked it at him, and crashed through into the operating room, where hebegan overturning tables and heaving chairs through glass shelves. "I'll show you, " he said. He cracked an instrument case and took out adelicate knife with a near-microscopic edge. He bent it in half andthrew the crumpled wreckage away. Wildly he destroyed everything hecould, raging from one end of the room to the other, ripping downfurnishings, smashing, destroying, while Dr. Goldring stood at the doorand yelled for help. It was not long in coming. An army of Earther policemen erupted intothe room and confronted him as he stood panting amid the wreckage. Theywere all short men, but there must have been twenty of them. "Don't shoot him, " someone called. And then they advanced in a body. He picked up the operating table and hurled it at them. Three policemencrumpled under it, but the rest kept coming. He batted them away likeinsects, but they surrounded him and piled on. For a few moments hestruggled under the load of fifteen small men, punching and kicking andyelling. He burst loose for an instant, but two of them were clinging tohis legs and he hit the floor with a crash. They were on himimmediately, and he stopped struggling after a while. * * * * * The next thing he knew he was lying sprawled on the floor of his room inSpacertown, breathing dust out of the tattered carpet. He was a mass ofcuts and bruises, and he knew they must have given him quite agoing-over. He was sore from head to foot. So they hadn't arrested him. No, of course not; no more than they wouldarrest any wild animal who went berserk. They had just dumped him backin the jungle. He tried to get up, but couldn't make it. Quite agoing-over it must have been. Nothing seemed broken, but everything wasslightly bent. "Satisfied now?" said a voice from somewhere. It was a pleasant sound tohear, a voice, and he let the mere noise of it soak into his mind. "Nowthat you've proved to everyone that you really are just an ape?" He twisted his neck around--slowly, because his neck was stiff and sore. Laney was sitting on the edge of his bed with two suitcases next to her. "It really wasn't necessary to run wild there, " she said. "The Earthersall knew you were just an animal anyway. You didn't have to prove it soviolently. " "Okay, Laney. Quit it. " "If you want me to. I just wanted to make sure you knew what hadhappened. A gang of Earther cops brought you back a while ago and dumpedyou here. They told me the story. " "Leave me alone. " "You've been telling everyone that all along, Rolf. Look where it gotyou. A royal beating at the hands of a bunch of Earthers. Now thatthey've thrown you out for the last time, has it filtered into yourmind that this is where you belong?" "In Spacertown?" "Only between trips. You belong in space, Rolf. No surgeon can make youan Earther. The Earthers are dead, but they don't know it yet. All theirparties, their fancy clothes, their extra arms and missing ears--thatmeans they're decadent. They're finished. You're the one who's alive;the whole universe is waiting for you to go out and step on its neck. And instead you want to turn yourself into a green-skinned littlemonkey! Why?" * * * * * He pulled himself to a sitting position. "I don't know, " he said. "I'vebeen all mixed up, I think. " He felt his powerful arm. "I'm a Spacer. "Suddenly he glanced at her. "What are the suitcases for?" he said. "I'm moving in, " Laney said. "I need a place to sleep. " "What's the matter with Kanaday? Did he get tired of listening to youpreaching? He's my friend, Laney; I'm not going to do him dirt. " "He's dead, Rolf. When the Earther cops came here to bring you back, andhe saw what they did to you, his hatred overflowed. He always hatedEarthers, and he hated them even more for the way you were beingtricked into thinking they were worth anything. He got hold of one ofthose cops and just about twisted him into two pieces. They blastedhim. " Rolf was silent. He let his head sink down on his knees. "So I moved down here. It's lonely upstairs now. Come on; I'll help youget up. " She walked toward him, hooked her hand under his arm, and half-dragged, half-pushed him to his feet. Her touch was firm, and there was nodenying the strength behind her. "I have to get fixed up, " he said abruptly. "My leave's up in two days. I have to get out of here. We're shipping for Pluto. " * * * * * He rocked unsteadily on his feet. "It'll really get lonely here then, "he said. "Are you really going to go? Or are you going to find some jack-surgeonwho'll make your face pretty for a few dirty credits?" "Stop it. I mean it. I'm going. I'll be gone a year on this signup. Bythen I'll have enough cash piled up on various planets to be a rich man. I'll get it all together and get a mansion on Venus, and have Greenieslaves. " It was getting toward noon. The sun, high in the sky, burst through theshutters and lit up the dingy room. "I'll stay here, " Laney said. "You're going to Pluto?" He nodded. "Kanaday was supposed to be going to Pluto. He was heading there whenthat explosion finished his foot. He never got there after that. " "Poor old Kanaday, " Rolf said. "I'll miss him too. I guess I'll have to run the boarding-house now. Fora while. Will you come back here when your year's up?" "I suppose so, " Rolf said without looking up. "This town is no worsethan any of the other Spacertowns. No better, but no worse. " He slowlylifted his head and looked at her as she stood there facing him. "I hope you come back, " she said. The sun was coming in from behind her, now, and lighting her up. She wasrugged, all right, and strong: a good hard worker. And she was wellbuilt. Suddenly his aches became less painful, as he looked at her andrealized that she was infinitely more beautiful than the slick, glossy-looking girl he had kissed on the veranda, who had bought herteeth at a store and had gotten her figure from a surgeon. Laney, atleast, was real. "You know, " he said at last, "I think I have an idea. You wait here andI'll come get you when my year's up. I'll have enough to pay passage toVenus for two. We can get a slightly smaller mansion than I planned ongetting. But we can get it. Some parts of Venus are beautiful. And theclosest those monkeys from Yawk can get to it is to look at it in thenight sky. You think it's a good idea?" "I think it's a great idea, " she said, moving toward him. Her head wasnearly as high as his own. "I'll go back to space. I have to, to keep my rating. But you'll waitfor me, won't you?" "I'll wait. " And as he drew her close, he knew she meant it. THE END Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ December 1957. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U. S. Copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical errors have been corrected without note.