THE ADVENTURES OF FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM

by Tobias Smollett

COMPLETE IN TWO PARTS

PART I. 

With the Author's Preface, and an Introduction by G. H. Maynadier, Ph. D. Department of English, Harvard University. 

CONTENTS

 INTRODUCTION

 PREFATORY ADDRESS

 CHAPTER I Some sage Observations that naturally introduce our important History II A superficial View of our Hero's Infancy III He is initiated in a Military Life, and has the good Fortune to acquire a generous Patron IV His Mother's Prowess and Death; together with some Instances of his own Sagacity V A brief Detail of his Education VI He meditates Schemes of Importance VII Engages in Partnership with a female Associate, in order to put his Talents in Action VIII Their first Attempt; with a Digression which some Readers may think impertinent IX The Confederates change their Battery, and achieve a remarkable Adventure X They proceed to levy Contributions with great Success, until our Hero sets out with the young Count for Vienna, where he enters into League with another Adventurer XI Fathom makes various Efforts in the World of Gallantry XII He effects a Lodgment in the House of a rich Jeweller XIII He is exposed to a most perilous Incident in the Course of his Intrigue with the Daughter XIV He is reduced to a dreadful Dilemma, in consequence of an Assignation with the Wife XV But at length succeeds in his Attempt upon both XVI His Success begets a blind Security, by which he is once again well-nigh entrapped in his Dulcinea's Apartment XVII The Step-dame's Suspicions being awakened, she lays a Snare for our Adventurer, from which he is delivered by the Interposition of his Good Genius XVIII Our Hero departs from Vienna, and quits the Domain of Venus for the rough Field of Mars XIX He puts himself under the Guidance of his Associate, and stumbles upon the French Camp, where he finishes his Military Career XX He prepares a Stratagem, but finds himself countermined-- Proceeds on his Journey, and is overtaken by a terrible Tempest XXI He falls upon Scylla, seeking to avoid Charybdis. XXII He arrives at Paris, and is pleased with his Reception XXIII Acquits himself with Address in a Nocturnal Riot XXIV He overlooks the Advances of his Friends, and smarts severely for his Neglect XXV He bears his Fate like a Philosopher; and contracts acquaintance with a very remarkable Personage XXVI The History of the Noble Castilian XXVII A flagrant Instance of Fathom's Virtue, in the Manner of his Retreat to England XXVIII Some Account of his Fellow-Travellers XXIX Another providential Deliverance from the Effects of the Smuggler's ingenious Conjecture XXX The singular Manner of Fathom's Attack and Triumph over the Virtue of the fair Elenor XXXI He by accident encounters his old Friend, with whom he holds a Conference, and renews a Treaty XXXII He appears in the great World with universal Applause and Admiration XXXIII He attracts the Envy and Ill Offices of the minor Knights of his own Order, over whom he obtains a complete Victory XXXIV He performs another Exploit, that conveys a true Idea of his Gratitude and Honour XXXV He repairs to Bristol Spring, where he reigns paramount during the whole Season XXXVI He is smitten with the Charms of a Female Adventurer, whose Allurements subject him to a new Vicissitude of Fortune XXXVII Fresh Cause for exerting his Equanimity and Fortitude XXXVIII The Biter is Bit

INTRODUCTION

The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom, Smollett's third novel, wasgiven to the world in 1753. Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writing to herdaughter, the Countess of Bute, over a year later [January 1st, 1755], remarked that "my friend Smollett . . . Has certainly a talent forinvention, though I think it flags a little in his last work. " Lady Marywas both right and wrong. The inventive power which we commonly think ofas Smollett's was the ability to work over his own experience intorealistic fiction. Of this, Ferdinand Count Fathom shows comparativelylittle. It shows relatively little, too, of Smollett's vigorouspersonality, which in his earlier works was present to give life andinterest to almost every chapter, were it to describe a street brawl, aludicrous situation, a whimsical character, or with venomous prejudice togibbet some enemy. This individuality--the peculiar spirit of the authorwhich can be felt rather than described--is present in the dedication ofFathom to Doctor ------, who is no other than Smollett himself, and acandid revelation of his character, by the way, this dedication contains. It is present, too, in the opening chapters, which show, likewise, in thepicture of Fathom's mother, something of the author's peculiar "talentfor invention. " Subsequently, however, there is no denying that theSmollett invention and the Smollett spirit both flag. And yet, in a way, Fathom displays more invention than any of the author's novels; it isbased far less than any other on personal experience. Unfortunatelysuch thorough-going invention was not suited to Smollett's genius. Theresult is, that while uninteresting as a novel of contemporary manners, Fathom has an interest of its own in that it reveals a new side of itsauthor. We think of Smollett, generally, as a rambling storyteller, arational, unromantic man of the world, who fills his pages with his ownoddly-metamorphosed acquaintances and experiences. The Smollett of CountFathom, on the contrary, is rather a forerunner of the romantic school, who has created a tolerably organic tale of adventure out of his ownbrain. Though this is notably less readable than the author's earlierworks, still the wonder is that when the man is so far "off his beat, " heshould yet know so well how to meet the strange conditions which confronthim. To one whose idea of Smollett's genius is formed entirely by Randomand Pickle and Humphry Clinker, Ferdinand Count Fathom will offer manysurprises. 

The first of these is the comparative lifelessness of the book. True, here again are action and incident galore, but generally unaccompanied bythat rough Georgian hurly-burly, common in Smollett, which is sointeresting to contemplate from a comfortable distance, and which goes sofar towards making his fiction seem real. Nor are the characters, forthe most part, life-like enough to be interesting. There is an apparentexception, to be sure, in the hero's mother, already mentioned, thehardened camp-follower, whom we confidently expect to become vitalisedafter the savage fashion of Smollett's characters. But, alas! we have nochance to learn the lady's style of conversation, for the few words thatcome from her lips are but partially characteristic; we have only toolittle chance to learn her manners and customs. In the fourth chapter, while she is making sure with her dagger that all those on the field ofbattle whom she wishes to rifle are really dead, an officer of thehussars, who has been watching her lucrative progress, unfeelingly puts abrace of bullets into the lady's brain, just as she raises her hand tosmite him to the heart. Perhaps it is as well that she is thus removedbefore our disappointment at the non-fulfilment of her promise becomespoignant. So far as we may judge from the other personages of CountFathom, even this interesting Amazon would sooner or later have turnedinto a wooden figure, with a label giving the necessary information as toher character. 

Such certainly is her son, Fathom, the hero of the book. Because he isplacarded, "Shrewd villain of monstrous inhumanity, " we are fain toaccept him for what his creator intended; but seldom in word or deed ishe a convincingly real villain. His friend and foil, the noble youngCount de Melvil, is no more alive than he; and equally wooden are Joshua, the high-minded, saint-like Jew, and that tedious, foolish Don Diego. Neither is the heroine alive, the peerless Monimia, but then, in hercase, want of vitality is not surprising; the presence of it would amazeus. If she were a woman throbbing with life, she would be different fromSmollett's other heroines. The "second lady" of the melodrama, Mademoiselle de Melvil, though by no means vivified, is yet more realthan her sister-in-law. 

The fact that they are mostly inanimate figures is not the only surprisegiven us by the personages of Count Fathom. It is a surprise to find fewof them strikingly whimsical; it is a surprise to find them in some casesfar more distinctly conceived than any of the people in Roderick Randomor Peregrine Pickle. In the second of these, we saw Smollett beginningto understand the use of incident to indicate consistent development ofcharacter. In Count Fathom, he seems fully to understand this principleof art, though he has not learned to apply it successfully. And so, inspite of an excellent conception, Fathom, as I have said, is unreal. After all his villainies, which he perpetrates without any apparentqualms of conscience, it is incredible that he should honestly repent ofhis crimes. We are much inclined to doubt when we read that "his viceand ambition was now quite mortified within him, " the subsequenttestimony of Matthew Bramble, Esq. , in Humphry Clinker, to the contrary, notwithstanding. Yet Fathom up to this point is consistently drawn, anddrawn for a purpose:--to show that cold-blooded roguery, thoughsuccessful for a while, will come to grief in the end. To heighten theeffect of his scoundrel, Smollett develops parallel with him the virtuousCount de Melvil. The author's scheme of thus using one character as thefoil of another, though not conspicuous for its originality, shows adecided advance in the theory of constructive technique. Only, as I havesaid, Smollett's execution is now defective. 

"But, " one will naturally ask, "if Fathom lacks the amusing, and notinfrequently stimulating, hurly-burly of Smollett's former novels; if itscharacters, though well-conceived, are seldom divertingly fantastic andnever thoroughly animate; what makes the book interesting?" The surprisewill be greater than ever when the answer is given that, to a largeextent, the plot makes Fathom interesting. Yes, Smollett, hithertoindifferent to structure, has here written a story in which the plotitself, often clumsy though it may be, engages a reader's attention. Oneactually wants to know whether the young Count is ever going to receiveconsolation for his sorrows and inflict justice on his basely ungratefulpensioner. And when, finally, all turns out as it should, one is amazedto find how many of the people in the book have helped towards thedesigned conclusion. Not all of them, indeed, nor all of the adventures, are indispensable, but it is manifest at the end that much, which, forthe time, most readers think irrelevant--such as Don Diego's history--is, after all, essential. 

It has already been said that in Count Fathom Smollett appears to someextent as a romanticist, and this is another fact which lends interest tothe book. That he had a powerful imagination is not a surprise. Any oneversed in Smollett has already seen it in the remarkable situations whichhe has put before us in his earlier works. These do not indicate, however, that Smollett possessed the imagination which could exciteromantic interest; for in Roderick Random and in Peregrine Pickle, thewonderful situations serve chiefly to amuse. In Fathom, however, thereare some designed to excite horror; and one, at least, is eminentlysuccessful. The hero's night in the wood between Bar-le-duc and Chalonswas no doubt more blood-curdling to our eighteenth-century ancestors thanit is to us, who have become acquainted with scores of similar situationsin the small number of exciting romances which belong to literature, andin the greater number which do not. Still, even to-day, a reader, withhis taste jaded by trashy novels, will be conscious of Smollett's power, and of several thrills, likewise, as he reads about Fathom's experiencein the loft in which the beldame locks him to pass the night. 

This situation is melodramatic rather than romantic, as the word is usedtechnically in application to eighteenth and nineteenth-centuryliterature. There is no little in Fathom, however, which is genuinelyromantic in the latter sense. Such is the imprisonment of the Countessin the castle-tower, whence she waves her handkerchief to the youngCount, her son and would-be rescuer. And especially so is the scene inthe church, when Renaldo (the very name is romantic) visits at midnightthe supposed grave of his lady-love. While he was waiting for the sextonto open the door, his "soul . . . Was wound up to the highest pitch ofenthusiastic sorrow. The uncommon darkness, . . . The solemn silence, and lonely situation of the place, conspired with the occasion of hiscoming, and the dismal images of his fancy, to produce a real rapture ofgloomy expectation, which the whole world could not have persuaded him todisappoint. The clock struck twelve, the owl screeched from the ruinedbattlement, the door was opened by the sexton, who, by the light of aglimmering taper, conducted the despairing lover to a dreary aisle, andstamped upon the ground with his foot, saying, 'Here the young lady liesinterred. '"

We have here such an amount of the usual romantic machinery of the"grave-yard" school of poets--that school of which Professor W. L. Phelpscalls Young, in his Night Thoughts, the most "conspicuous exemplar"--that one is at first inclined to think Smollett poking fun at it. Thecontext, however, seems to prove that he was perfectly serious. It isinteresting, then, as well as surprising, to find traces of the romanticspirit in his fiction over ten years before Walpole's Castle of Otranto. It is also interesting to find so much melodramatic feeling in him, because it makes stronger the connection between him and hisnineteenth-century disciple, Dickens. 

From all that I have said, it must not be thought that the usual Smollettis always, or almost always, absent from Count Fathom. I have spoken ofthe dedication and of the opening chapters as what we might expect fromhis pen. There are, besides, true Smollett strokes in the scenes in theprison from which Melvil rescues Fathom, and there is a good deal of thesatirical Smollett fun in the description of Fathom's ups and downs, first as the petted beau, and then as the fashionable doctor. Inchronicling the latter meteoric career, Smollett had already observed thepeculiarity of his countrymen which Thackeray was fond of harping on inthe next century--"the maxim which universally prevails among the Englishpeople . . . To overlook, . . . On their return to the metropolis, all the connexions they may have chanced to acquire during theirresidence at any of the medical wells. And this social disposition isso scrupulously maintained, that two persons who live in the mostintimate correspondence at Bath or Tunbridge, shall, in four-and-twentyhours . . . Meet in St. James's Park, without betraying the leasttoken of recognition. " And good, too, is the way in which, as Dr. Fathomgoes rapidly down the social hill, he makes excuses for his decliningsplendour. His chariot was overturned "with a hideous crash" at suchdanger to himself, "that he did not believe he should ever hazard himselfagain in any sort of wheel carriage. " He turned off his men for maids, because "men servants are generally impudent, lazy, debauched, ordishonest. " To avoid the din of the street, he shifted his lodgings intoa quiet, obscure court. And so forth and so on, in the true Smollettvein. 

But, after all, such of the old sparks are struck only occasionally. Apart from its plot, which not a few nineteenth-century writers ofdetective-stories might have improved, The Adventures of Ferdinand CountFathom is less interesting for itself than any other piece of fictionfrom Smollett's pen. For a student of Smollett, however, it is highlyinteresting as showing the author's romantic, melodramatic tendencies, and the growth of his constructive technique. 

G. H. MAYNADIER

THE ADVENTURES OF FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM

TO DOCTOR ------

You and I, my good friend, have often deliberated on the difficulty ofwriting such a dedication as might gratify the self-complacency of apatron, without exposing the author to the ridicule or censure of thepublic; and I think we generally agreed that the task was altogetherimpracticable. --Indeed, this was one of the few subjects on which we havealways thought in the same manner. For, notwithstanding that deferenceand regard which we mutually pay to each other, certain it is, we haveoften differed, according to the predominancy of those differentpassions, which frequently warp the opinion, and perplex theunderstanding of the most judicious. 

In dedication, as in poetry, there is no medium; for, if any one of thehuman virtues be omitted in the enumeration of the patron's goodqualities, the whole address is construed into an affront, and the writerhas the mortification to find his praise prostituted to very littlepurpose. 

On the other hand, should he yield to the transports of gratitude oraffection, which is always apt to exaggerate, and produce no more thanthe genuine effusions of his heart, the world will make no allowance forthe warmth of his passion, but ascribe the praise he bestows tointerested views and sordid adulation. 

Sometimes too, dazzled by the tinsel of a character which he has noopportunity to investigate, he pours forth the homage of his admirationupon some false Maecenas, whose future conduct gives the lie to hiseulogium, and involves him in shame and confusion of face. Such was thefate of a late ingenious author [the Author of the "Seasons"], who was sooften put to the blush for the undeserved incense he had offered in theheat of an enthusiastic disposition, misled by popular applause, that hehad resolved to retract, in his last will, all the encomiums which he hadthus prematurely bestowed, and stigmatise the unworthy by name--alaudable scheme of poetical justice, the execution of which was fatallyprevented by untimely death. 

Whatever may have been the fate of other dedicators, I, for my own part, sit down to write this address, without any apprehension of disgrace ordisappointment; because I know you are too well convinced of my affectionand sincerity to repine at what I shall say touching your character andconduct. And you will do me the justice to believe, that this publicdistinction is a testimony of my particular friendship and esteem. 

Not that I am either insensible of your infirmities, or disposed toconceal them from the notice of mankind. There are certain foibles whichcan only be cured by shame and mortification; and whether or not yours beof that species, I shall have the comfort to think my best endeavourswere used for your reformation. 

Know then, I can despise your pride, while I honour your integrity, andapplaud your taste, while I am shocked at your ostentation. --I have knownyou trifling, superficial, and obstinate in dispute; meanly jealous andawkwardly reserved; rash and haughty in your resentments; and coarse andlowly in your connexions. I have blushed at the weakness of yourconversation, and trembled at the errors of your conduct--yet, as I ownyou possess certain good qualities, which overbalance these defects, anddistinguish you on this occasion as a person for whom I have the mostperfect attachment and esteem, you have no cause to complain of theindelicacy with which your faults are reprehended. And as they arechiefly the excesses of a sanguine disposition and looseness of thought, impatient of caution or control, you may, thus stimulated, watch overyour own intemperance and infirmity with redoubled vigilance andconsideration, and for the future profit by the severity of my reproof. 

These, however, are not the only motives that induce me to trouble youwith this public application. I must not only perform my duty to myfriends, but also discharge the debt I owe to my own interest. We livein a censorious age; and an author cannot take too much precaution toanticipate the prejudice, misapprehension, and temerity of malice, ignorance, and presumption. 

I therefore think it incumbent upon me to give some previous intimationof the plan which I have executed in the subsequent performance, that Imay not be condemned upon partial evidence; and to whom can I with morepropriety appeal in my explanation than to you, who are so wellacquainted with all the sentiments and emotions of my breast?

A novel is a large diffused picture, comprehending the characters oflife, disposed in different groups, and exhibited in various attitudes, for the purposes of an uniform plan, and general occurrence, to whichevery individual figure is subservient. But this plan cannot be executedwith propriety, probability, or success, without a principal personage toattract the attention, unite the incidents, unwind the clue of thelabyrinth, and at last close the scene, by virtue of his own importance. 

Almost all the heroes of this kind, who have hitherto succeeded on theEnglish stage, are characters of transcendent worth, conducted throughthe vicissitudes of fortune, to that goal of happiness, which ever oughtto be the repose of extraordinary desert. --Yet the same principle bywhich we rejoice at the remuneration of merit, will teach us to relishthe disgrace and discomfiture of vice, which is always an example ofextensive use and influence, because it leaves a deep impression ofterror upon the minds of those who were not confirmed in the pursuit ofmorality and virtue, and, while the balance wavers, enables the rightscale to preponderate. 

In the drama, which is a more limited field of invention, the chiefpersonage is often the object of our detestation and abhorrence; and weare as well pleased to see the wicked schemes of a Richard blasted, andthe perfidy of a Maskwell exposed, as to behold a Bevil happy, and anEdward victorious. 

The impulses of fear, which is the most violent and interesting of allthe passions, remain longer than any other upon the memory; and for onethat is allured to virtue, by the contemplation of that peace andhappiness which it bestows, a hundred are deterred from the practice ofvice, by that infamy and punishment to which it is liable, from the lawsand regulations of mankind. 

Let me not, therefore, be condemned for having chosen my principalcharacter from the purlieus of treachery and fraud, when I declare mypurpose is to set him up as a beacon for the benefit of the unexperiencedand unwary, who, from the perusal of these memoirs, may learn to avoidthe manifold snares with which they are continually surrounded in thepaths of life; while those who hesitate on the brink of iniquity may beterrified from plunging into that irremediable gulf, by surveying thedeplorable fate of Ferdinand Count Fathom. 

That the mind might not be fatigued, nor the imagination disgusted, by asuccession of vicious objects, I have endeavoured to refresh theattention with occasional incidents of a different nature; and raised upa virtuous character, in opposition to the adventurer, with a view toamuse the fancy, engage the affection, and form a striking contrast whichmight heighten the expression, and give a relief to the moral of thewhole. 

If I have not succeeded in my endeavours to unfold the mysteries offraud, to instruct the ignorant, and entertain the vacant; if I havefailed in my attempts to subject folly to ridicule, and vice toindignation; to rouse the spirit of mirth, wake the soul of compassion, and touch the secret springs that move the heart; I have, at least, adorned virtue with honour and applause, branded iniquity with reproachand shame, and carefully avoided every hint or expression which couldgive umbrage to the most delicate reader--circumstances which (whatevermay be my fate with the public) will with you always operatein favour of, Dear sir, your very affectionate friend and servant, THE AUTHOR. 

CHAPTER ONE

SOME SAGE OBSERVATIONS THAT NATURALLY INTRODUCE OUR IMPORTANT HISTORY. 

Cardinal de Retz very judiciously observes, that all historians must ofnecessity be subject to mistakes, in explaining the motives of thoseactions they record, unless they derive their intelligence from thecandid confession of the person whose character they represent; and that, of consequence, every man of importance ought to write his own memoirs, provided he has honesty enough to tell the truth, without suppressing anycircumstance that may tend to the information of the reader. This, however, is a requisite that, I am afraid, would be very rarely foundamong the number of those who exhibit their own portraits to the public. Indeed, I will venture to say, that, how upright soever a man'sintentions may be, he will, in the performance of such a task, besometimes misled by his own phantasy, and represent objects, as theyappeared to him, through the mists of prejudice and passion. 

An unconcerned reader, when he peruses the history of two competitors, who lived two thousand years ago, or who perhaps never had existence, except in the imagination of the author, cannot help interesting himselfin the dispute, and espousing one side of the contest, with all the zealof a warm adherent. What wonder, then, that we should be heated in ourown concerns, review our actions with the same self-approbation that theyhad formerly acquired, and recommend them to the world with all theenthusiasm of paternal affection?

Supposing this to be the case, it was lucky for the cause of historicaltruth, that so many pens have been drawn by writers, who could not besuspected of such partiality; and that many great personages, among theancients as well as moderns, either would not or could not entertain thepublic with their own memoirs. From this want of inclination or capacityto write, in our hero himself, the undertaking is now left to me, oftransmitting to posterity the remarkable adventures of FERDINAND COUNTFATHOM; and by the time the reader shall have glanced over the subsequentsheets, I doubt not but he will bless God that the adventurer was not hisown historian. 

This mirror of modern chivalry was none of those who owe their dignity tothe circumstances of their birth, and are consecrated from the cradle forthe purposes of greatness, merely because they are the accidentalchildren of wealth. He was heir to no visible patrimony, unless wereckon a robust constitution, a tolerable appearance, and an uncommoncapacity, as the advantages of inheritance. If the comparison obtains inthis point of consideration, he was as much as any man indebted to hisparent; and pity it was, that, in the sequel of his fortune, he never hadan opportunity of manifesting his filial gratitude and regard. From thisagreeable act of duty to his sire, and all those tendernesses that arereciprocally enjoyed betwixt the father and the son, he was unhappilyexcluded by a small circumstance; at which, however, he was never heardto repine. In short, had he been brought forth in the fabulous ages ofthe world, the nature of his origin might have turned to his account; hemight, like other heroes of antiquity, have laid claim to divineextraction, without running the risk of being claimed by an earthlyfather. Not that his parents had any reason to disown or renounce theiroffspring, or that there was anything preternatural in the circumstancesof his generation and birth; on the contrary, he was, from the beginning, a child of promising parts, and in due course of nature ushered into theworld amidst a whole cloud of witnesses. But, that he was acknowledgedby no mortal sire, solely proceeded from the uncertainty of his mother, whose affections were so dissipated among a number of admirers, that shecould never pitch upon the person from whose loins our hero sprung. 

Over and above this important doubt under which he was begotten, otherparticularities attended his birth, and seemed to mark him out assomething uncommon among the sons of men. He was brought forth in awaggon, and might be said to be literally a native of two differentcountries; for, though he first saw the light in Holland, he was not borntill after the carriage arrived in Flanders; so that, all theseextraordinary circumstances considered, the task of determining to whatgovernment he naturally owed allegiance, would be at least as difficultas that of ascertaining the so much contested birthplace of Homer. 

Certain it is, the Count's mother was an Englishwoman, who, after havingbeen five times a widow in one campaign, was, in the last year of therenowned Marlborough's command, numbered among the baggage of the alliedarmy, which she still accompanied, through pure benevolence of spirit, supplying the ranks with the refreshing streams of choice Geneva, andaccommodating individuals with clean linen, as the emergency of theiroccasions required. Nor was her philanthropy altogether confined to suchministration; she abounded with "the milk of human kindness, " whichflowed plentifully among her fellow-creatures; and to every son of Marswho cultivated her favour, she liberally dispensed her smiles, in orderto sweeten the toils and dangers of the field. 

And here it will not be amiss to anticipate the remarks of the reader, who, in the chastity and excellency of his conception, may possiblyexclaim, "Good Heaven! will these authors never reform theirimaginations, and lift their ideas from the obscene objects of low life?Must the public be again disgusted with the grovelling adventures of awaggon? Will no writer of genius draw his pen in the vindication oftaste, and entertain us with the agreeable characters, the dignifiedconversation, the poignant repartee, in short, the genteel comedy of thepolite world?"

Have a little patience, gentle, delicate, sublime critic; you, I doubtnot, are one of those consummate connoisseurs, who, in theirpurifications, let humour evaporate, while they endeavour to preservedecorum, and polish wit, until the edge of it is quite worn off. Or, perhaps, of that class, who, in the sapience of taste, are disgusted withthose very flavours in the productions of their own country which haveyielded infinite delectation to their faculties, when imported fromanother clime; and d--n an author in despite of all precedent andprescription;--who extol the writings of Petronius Arbiter, read withrapture the amorous sallies of Ovid's pen, and chuckle over the story ofLucian's ass; yet, if a modern author presumes to relate the progress ofa simple intrigue, are shocked at the indecency and immorality of thescene;--who delight in following Guzman d'Alfarache, through all themazes of squalid beggary; who with pleasure accompany Don Quixote and hissquire, in the lowest paths of fortune; who are diverted with theadventures of Scarron's ragged troop of strollers, and highly entertainedwith the servile situations of Gil Blas; yet, when a character in humblelife occasionally occurs in a performance of our own growth, exclaim, with an air of disgust, "Was ever anything so mean! sure, this writermust have been very conversant with the lowest scenes of life";--who, when Swift or Pope represents a coxcomb in the act of swearing, scruplenot to laugh at the ridiculous execrations; but, in a less reputedauthor, condemn the use of such profane expletives;--who eagerly explorethe jakes of Rabelais, for amusement, and even extract humour from thedean's description of a lady's dressing-room; yet in a production ofthese days, unstamped with such venerable names, will stop their noses, with all the signs of loathing and abhorrence, at a bare mention of thechina chamber-pot;--who applauded Catullus, Juvenal, Persius, and Lucan, for their spirit in lashing the greatest names of antiquity; yet, when aBritish satirist, of this generation, has courage enough to call inquestion the talents of a pseudo-patron in power, accuse him ofinsolence, rancour, and scurrility. 

If such you be, courteous reader, I say again, have a little patience;for your entertainment we are about to write. Our hero shall, with allconvenient despatch, be gradually sublimed into those splendid connexionsof which you are enamoured; and God forbid, that, in the meantime, thenature of his extraction should turn to his prejudice in a land offreedom like this, where individuals are every day ennobled inconsequence of their own qualifications, without the least retrospectiveregard to the rank or merit of their ancestors. Yes, refined reader, weare hastening to that goal of perfection, where satire dares not show herface; where nature is castigated, almost even to still life; where humourturns changeling, and slavers in an insipid grin; where wit isvolatilised into a mere vapour; where decency, divested of all substance, hovers about like a fantastic shadow; where the salt of genius, escaping, leaves nothing but pure and simple phlegm; and the inoffensive pen forever drops the mild manna of soul-sweetening praise. 

CHAPTER TWO

A SUPERFICIAL VIEW OF OUR HERO'S INFANCY. 

Having thus bespoken the indulgence of our guests, let us now produce theparticulars of our entertainment, and speedily conduct our adventurerthrough the stage of infancy, which seldom teems with interestingincidents. 

As the occupations of his mother would not conveniently permit her tosuckle this her firstborn at her own breast, and those happy ages werenow no more, in which the charge of nursing a child might be left to thenext goat or she-wolf, she resolved to improve upon the ordinances ofnature, and foster him with a juice much more energetic than the milk ofgoat, wolf, or woman; this was no other than that delicious nectar, which, as we have already hinted, she so cordially distributed from asmall cask that hung before her, depending from her shoulders by aleathern zone. Thus determined, ere he was yet twelve days old, sheenclosed him in a canvas knapsack, which being adjusted to her neck, felldown upon her back, and balanced the cargo that rested on her bosom. 

There are not wanting those who affirm, that, while her double charge wascarried about in this situation, her keg was furnished with a long andslender flexible tube, which, when the child began to be clamorous, sheconveyed into his mouth, and straight he stilled himself with sucking;but this we consider as an extravagant assertion of those who mix themarvellous in all their narrations, because we cannot conceive how thetender organs of an infant could digest such a fiery beverage, whichnever fails to discompose the constitutions of the most hardy and robust. We therefore conclude that the use of this potation was more restrained, and that it was with simple element diluted into a composition adapted tohis taste and years. Be this as it will, he certainly was indulged inthe use of it to such a degree as would have effectually obstructed hisfuture fortune, had not he been happily cloyed with the repetition of thesame fare, for which he conceived the utmost detestation and abhorrence, rejecting it with loathing and disgust, like those choice spirits, who, having been crammed with religion in their childhood, renounce it intheir youth, among other absurd prejudices of education. 

While he was thus dangled in a state of suspension, a German trooper wastransiently smit with the charms of his mother, who listened to hishonourable addresses, and once more received the silken bonds ofmatrimony; the ceremony having been performed as usual at the drum-head. The lady had no sooner taken possession of her new name, than shebestowed it upon her son, who was thenceforward distinguished by theappellation of Ferdinand de Fadom; nor was the husband offended at thispresumption in his wife, which he not only considered as a proof of heraffection and esteem, but also as a compliment, by which he might in timeacquire the credit of being the real father of such a hopeful child. 

Notwithstanding this new engagement with a foreigner, our hero's motherstill exercised the virtues of her calling among the English troops, somuch was she biassed by that laudable partiality, which, as Horaceobserves, the natale solum generally inspires. Indeed this inclinationwas enforced by another reason, that did not fail to influence herconduct in this particular; all her knowledge of the High Dutch languageconsisted in some words of traffic absolutely necessary for the practiceof hex vocation, together with sundry oaths and terms of reproach, thatkept her customers in awe; so that, except among her own countrymen, shecould not indulge that propensity to conversation, for which she had beenremarkable from her earliest years. Nor did this instance of heraffection fail of turning to her account in the sequel. She was promotedto the office of cook to a regimental mess of officers; and, before thepeace of Utrecht, was actually in possession of a suttling-tent, pitchedfor the accommodation of the gentlemen in the army. 

Meanwhile, Ferdinand improved apace in the accomplishments of infancy;his beauty was conspicuous, and his vigour so uncommon, that he waswith justice likened unto Hercules in the cradle. The friends of hisfather-in-law dandled him on their knees, while he played with theirwhiskers, and, before he was thirteen months old, taught him to suckbrandy impregnated with gunpowder, through the touch-hole of a pistol. At the same time, he was caressed by divers serjeants of the Britisharmy, who severally and in secret contemplated his qualifications with afather's pride, excited by the artful declaration with which the motherhad flattered each apart. 

Soon as the war was (for her unhappily) concluded, she, as in duty bound, followed her husband into Bohemia; and his regiment being sent intogarrison at Prague, she opened a cabaret in that city, which wasfrequented by a good many guests of the Scotch and Irish nations, whowere devoted to the exercise of arms in the service of the Emperor. Itwas by this communication that the English tongue became vernacular toyoung Ferdinand, who, without such opportunity, would have been astranger to the language of his forefathers, in spite of all his mother'sloquacity and elocution; though it must be owned, for the credit of hermaternal care, that she let slip no occasion of making it familiar to hisear and conception; for, even at those intervals in which she could findno person to carry on the altercation, she used to hold forth in earnestsoliloquies upon the subject of her own situation, giving vent to manyopprobrious invectives against her husband's country, between which andOld England she drew many odious comparisons; and prayed, withoutceasing, that Europe might speedily be involved in a general war, so asthat she might have some chance of re-enjoying the pleasures andemoluments of a Flanders campaign. 

CHAPTER THREE

HE IS INITIATED IN A MILITARY LIFE, AND HAS THE GOOD FORTUNE TO ACQUIRE AGENEROUS PATRON. 

While she wearied Heaven with these petitions, the flame of war broke outbetwixt the houses of Ottoman and Austria, and the Emperor sent forth anarmy into Hungary, under the auspices of the renowned Prince Eugene. Onaccount of this expedition, the mother of our hero gave up housekeeping, and cheerfully followed her customers and husband into the field; havingfirst provided herself with store of those commodities in which she hadformerly merchandised. Although the hope of profit might in some measureaffect her determination, one of the chief motives for her visiting thefrontiers of Turkey, was the desire of initiating her son in therudiments of his education, which she now thought high time to inculcate, he being, at this period, in the sixth year of his age; he wasaccordingly conducted to the camp, which she considered as the mostconsummate school of life, and proposed for the scene of his instruction;and in this academy he had not continued many weeks, when he was aneye-witness of that famous victory, which, with sixty thousand men, theImperial general obtained over an army of one hundred and fifty thousandTurks. 

His father-in-law was engaged, and his mother would not be idle on thisoccasion. She was a perfect mistress of all the camp qualifications, andthought it a duty incumbent on her to contribute all that lay in herpower towards distressing the enemy. With these sentiments she hoveredabout the skirts of the army, and the troops were no sooner employed inthe pursuit, than she began to traverse the field of battle with apoignard and a bag, in order to consult her own interest, annoy the foe, and exercise her humanity at the same time. In short, she had, withamazing prowess, delivered some fifty or threescore disabled Mussulmen ofthe pain under which they groaned, and made a comfortable booty of thespoils of the slain, when her eyes were attracted by the rich attire ofan Imperial officer, who lay bleeding on the plain, to all appearance inthe agonies of death. 

She could not in her heart refuse that favour to a friend and Christianshe had so compassionately bestowed upon so many enemies and infidels, and therefore drew near with the sovereign remedy, which she had alreadyadministered with such success. As she approached this deplorable objectof pity, her ears were surprised with an ejaculation in the Englishtongue, which he fervently pronounced, though with a weak and languidvoice, recommending his soul to God, and his family to the protection ofHeaven. Our Amazon's purpose was staggered by this providentialincident; the sound of her native language, so unexpectedly heard, and sopathetically delivered, had a surprising effect upon her imagination; andthe faculty of reflection did not forsake her in such emergency. Thoughshe could not recollect the features of this unhappy officer, sheconcluded, from his appearance, that he was some person of distinction inthe service, and foresaw greater advantage to herself in attempting topreserve his life, than she could possibly reap from the execution of herfirst resolve. "If, " said she to herself, "I can find means of conveyinghim to his tent alive, he cannot but in conscience acknowledge myhumanity with some considerable recompense; and, should he chance tosurvive his wounds, I have everything to expect from his gratitude andpower. "

Fraught with these prudential suggestions, she drew near the unfortunatestranger, and, in a softened accent of pity and condolence, questionedhim concerning his name, condition, and the nature of his mischance, atthe same time making a gentle tender of her service. Agreeably surprisedto hear himself accosted in such a manner, by a person whose equipageseemed to promise far other designs, he thanked her in the most gratefulterms for her humanity, with the appellation of kind countrywoman; gaveher to understand that he was colonel of a regiment of horse; that he hadfallen in consequence of a shot he received in his breast at thebeginning of the action; and, finally, entreated her to procure somecarriage on which he might be removed to his tent. Perceiving him faintand exhausted with loss of blood, she raised up his head, and treated himwith that cordial which was her constant companion. At that instant, espying a small body of hussars returning to the camp with the plunderthey had taken, she invoked their assistance, and they forthwith carriedthe officer to his own quarters, where his wound was dressed, and hispreserver carefully tended him until his recovery was completed. 

In return for these good offices, this gentleman, who was originally ofScotland, rewarded her for the present with great liberality, assured herof his influence in promoting her husband, and took upon himself thecharge of young Ferdinand's education; the boy was immediately taken intohis protection, and entered as a trooper in his own regiment; but hisgood intentions towards his father-in-law were frustrated by the death ofthe German, who, in a few days after this disposition, was shot in thetrenches before Temiswaer. 

This event, over and above the conjugal affliction with which it invadedthe lady's quiet, would have involved her in infinite difficulty anddistress, with regard to her temporal concerns, by leaving herunprotected in the midst of strangers, had not she been thusprovidentially supplied with an effectual patron in the colonel, who wasknown by the appellation of Count Melvil. He no sooner saw her, by thedeath of her husband, detached from all personal connexions with amilitary life, than he proposed that she should quit her occupation inthe camp, and retire to his habitation in the city of Presburg, where shewould be entertained in ease and plenty during the remaining part of hernatural life. With all due acknowledgments of his generosity, she beggedto be excused from embracing his proposal, alleging she was so muchaccustomed to her present way of life, and so much devoted to the serviceof the soldiery, that she should never be happy in retirement, while thetroops of any prince in Christendom kept the field. 

The Count, finding her determined to prosecute her scheme, repeated hispromise of befriending her upon all occasions; and in the meantimeadmitted Ferdinand into the number of his domestics, resolving that heshould be brought up in attendance upon his own son, who was a boy of thesame age. He kept him, however, in his tent, until he should have anopportunity of revisiting his family in person; and, before that occasionoffered, two whole years elapsed, during which the illustrious PrinceEugene gained the celebrated battle of Belgrade, and afterwards madehimself master of that important frontier. 

CHAPTER FOUR

HIS MOTHER'S PROWESS AND DEATH; TOGETHER WITH SOME INSTANCES OF HIS OWNSAGACITY. 

It would have been impossible for the mother of our adventurer, such asshe hath been described, to sit quietly in her tent, while such an heroicscene was acting. She was no sooner apprised of the general's intentionto attack the enemy, than she, as usual, packed up her moveables in awaggon, which she committed to the care of a peasant in theneighbourhood, and put herself in motion with the troops; big with theexpectation of re-acting that part in which she had formerly acquittedherself so much to her advantage. --Nay, she by this time looked upon herown presence as a certain omen of success to the cause which sheespoused; and, in their march to battle, actually encouraged the rankswith repeated declarations, importing, that she had been eye-witness often decisive engagements, in all of which her friends had beenvictorious, and imputing such uncommon good fortune to some supernaturalquality inherent in her person. 

Whether or not this confidence contributed to the fortune of the day, byinspiring the soldiers to an uncommon pitch of courage and resolution, Ishall not pretend to determine. But, certain it is, the victory beganfrom that quarter in which she had posted herself; and no corps in thearmy behaved with such intrepidity as that which was manifested by thosewho were favoured with her admonitions and example; for she not onlyexposed her person to the enemy's fire, with the indifference anddeliberation of a veteran, but she is said to have achieved a veryconspicuous exploit by the prowess of her single arm. The extremity ofthe line to which she had attached herself, being assaulted in flank by abody of the spahis, wheeled about, in order to sustain the charge, andreceived them with such a seasonable fire, as brought a great number ofturbans to the ground; among those who fell, was one of the chiefs oragas, who had advanced before the rest, with a view to signalise hisvalour. 

Our English Penthesilea no sooner saw this Turkish leader drop, than, struck with the magnificence of his own and horse's trappings, she sprungforward to seize them as her prize, and found the aga not dead, though ina good measure disabled by his misfortune, which was entirely owing tothe weight of his horse, that, having been killed by a musket-ball, layupon his leg, so that he could not disengage himself. Nevertheless, perceiving the virago approach with fell intent, he brandished hissymitar, and tried to intimidate his assailant with a most horribleexclamation; but it was not the dismal yell of a dismounted cavalier, though enforced with a hideous ferocity of countenance, and the menacinggestures with which he waited her approach, that could intimidate such anundaunted she-campaigner; she saw him writhing in the agonies of asituation from which he could not move; and, running towards him with thenimbleness and intrepidity of a Camilla, described a semicircle in theprogress of her assault, and attacking him on one side, plunged herwell-tried dagger in his throat. The shades of death encompassed him, his life-blood issued at the wound, he fell prone upon the earth, he bitthe dust, and having thrice invoked the name of Allah! straight expired. 

While his destiny was thus fulfilled, his followers began to reel; theyseemed dismayed at the fate of their chief, beheld their companions droplike the leaves in autumn, and suddenly halted in the midst of theircareer. The Imperialists, observing the confusion of the enemy, redoubled their fire; and, raising a dreadful shout, advanced in order toimprove the advantage they had gained. The spahis durst not wait theshock of such an encounter; they wheeled to the right-about, and clappingspurs to their horses, fled in the utmost disorder. This was actuallythe circumstance that turned the scale of battle. The Austrians pursuedtheir good fortune with uncommon impetuosity, and in a few minutes leftthe field clear for the mother of our hero, who was such an adept in theart of stripping, that in the twinkling of an eye the bodies of the agaand his Arabian lay naked to the skin. It would have been happy for her, had she been contented with these first-fruits, reaped from the fortuneof the day, and retired with her spoils, which were not inconsiderable;but, intoxicated with the glory she had won, enticed by the glitteringcaparisons that lay scattered on the plain, and without doubt prompted bythe secret instinct of her fate, she resolved to seize opportunity by theforelock, and once for all indemnify herself for the many fatigues, hazards, and sorrows she had undergone. 

Thus determined, she reconnoitred the field, and practised her address sosuccessfully, that in less than half an hour she was loaded with ermineand embroidery, and disposed to retreat with her burden, when her regardswere solicited by a splendid bundle, which she descried at some distancelying on the ground. This was no other than an unhappy officer ofhussars; who, after having the good fortune to take a Turkish standard, was desperately wounded in the thigh, and obliged to quit his horse;finding himself in such a helpless condition, he had wrapped hisacquisition round his body, that whatever might happen, he and his gloryshould not be parted; and thus shrouded, among the dying and the dead, hehad observed the progress of our heroine, who stalked about the field, like another Atropos, finishing, wherever she came, the work of death. He did not at all doubt, that he himself would be visited in the courseof her peregrinations, and therefore provided for her reception, with apistol ready cocked in his hand, while he lay perdue beneath his covert, in all appearance bereft of life. He was not deceived in his prognostic;she no sooner eyed the golden crescent than, inflamed with curiosity orcupidity, she directed thitherward her steps, and discerning the carcaseof a man, from which, she thought, there would be a necessity fordisengaging it, she lifted up her weapon, in order to make sure of herpurchase; and in the very instant of discharging her blow, received abrace of bullets in her brain. 

Thus ended the mortal pilgrimage of this modern Amazon; who, in point ofcourage, was not inferior to Semiramis, Tomyris, Zenobia, Thalestris, orany boasted heroine of ancient times. It cannot be supposed that thiscatastrophe made a very deep impression upon the mind of young Ferdinand, who had just then attained the ninth year of his age, and been for aconsiderable time weaned from her maternal caresses; especially as hefelt no wants nor grievances in the family of the Count, who favoured himwith a particular share of indulgence, because he perceived in him aspirit of docility, insinuation, and sagacity, far above his years. Hedid not, however, fail to lament the untimely fate of his mother, withsuch filial expressions of sorrow, as still more intimately recommendedhim to his patron; who, being himself a man of extraordinary benevolence, looked upon the boy as a prodigy of natural affection, and foresaw in hisfuture services a fund of gratitude and attachment, that could not failto render him a valuable acquisition to his family. 

In his own country, he had often seen connexions of that sort, whichhaving been planted in the infancy of the adherent, had grown up to asurprising pitch of fidelity and friendship, that no temptation couldbias, and no danger dissolve. He therefore rejoiced in the hope ofseeing his own son accommodated with such a faithful attendant, in theperson of young Fathom, on whom he resolved to bestow the same educationhe had planned for the other, though conveyed in such a manner as shouldbe suitable to the sphere in which he was ordained to move. Inconsequence of these determinations, our young adventurer led a very easylife, in quality of page to the Count, in whose tent he lay upon apallet, close to his field-bed, and often diverted him with his childishprattle in the English tongue, which the more seldom his master hadoccasion to speak, he the more delighted to hear. In the exercise of hisfunction, the boy was incredibly assiduous and alert; far from neglectingthe little particulars of his duty, and embarking in the mischievousamusements of the children belonging to the camp, he was always diligent, sedate, agreeably officious and anticipating; and in the whole of hisbehaviour seemed to express the most vigilant sense of his patron'sgoodness and generosity; nay, to such a degree had these sentiments, inall appearance, operated upon his reflection, that one morning, while hesupposed the Count asleep, he crept softly to his bedside, and gentlykissing his hand, which happened to be uncovered, pronounced, in a lowvoice, a most fervent prayer in his behalf, beseeching Heaven to showerdown blessings upon him, as the widow's friend and the orphan's father. This benediction was not lost upon the Count, who chanced to be awake, and heard it with admiration; but what riveted Ferdinand in his goodgraces, was a discovery that our youth made, while his master was uponduty in the trenches before Belgrade. 

Two foot soldiers, standing sentry near the door of the tent, werecaptivated with the sight of some valuable moveables belonging to it; andsupposing, in their great wisdom, that the city of Belgrade was too wellfortified to be taken during that campaign, they came to a resolution ofwithdrawing themselves from the severe service of the trenches, bydeserting to the enemy, after they should have rifled Count Melvil's tentof the furniture by which they were so powerfully allured. Theparticulars of this plan were concerted in the French language, which, they imagined, would screen them from all risk of being detected, in casethey should be overheard, though, as there was no living creature insight, they had no reason to believe that any person was privy to theirconversation. Nevertheless, they were mistaken in both theseconjectures. The conference reached the ears of Fathom, who was at theother end of the tent, and had perceived the eager looks with which theyconsidered some parts of the furniture. He had penetration enough tosuspect their desire, and, alarmed by that suspicion, listenedattentively to their discourse; which, from a slender knowledge in theFrench tongue, he had the good fortune partly to understand. 

This important piece of intelligence he communicated to the Count at hisreturn, and measures were immediately taken to defeat the design, andmake an example of the authors, who being permitted to load themselveswith the booty, were apprehended in their retreat, and punished withdeath according to their demerits. 

CHAPTER FIVE

A BRIEF DETAIL OF HIS EDUCATION. 

Nothing could have more seasonably happened to confirm the good opinionwhich the colonel entertained of Ferdinand's principles. His intentionstowards the boy grew every day more and more warm; and, immediately afterthe peace of Passarowitz, he retired to his own house at Presburg, andpresented young Fathom to his lady, not only as the son of a person towhom he owed his life, but also as a lad who merited his peculiarprotection and regard by his own personal virtue. The Countess, who wasan Hungarian, received him with great kindness and affability, and herson was ravished with the prospect of enjoying such a companion. Inshort, fortune seemed to have provided for him an asylum, in which hemight be safely trained up, and suitably prepared for more importantscenes of life than any of his ancestors had ever known. 

He was not, in all respects, entertained on the footing of his youngmaster; yet he shared in all his education and amusements, as one whomthe old gentleman was fully determined to qualify for the station of anofficer in the service; and, if he did not eat with the Count, he wasevery day regaled with choice bits from his table; holding, as it were, amiddle place between the rank of a relation and favourite domestic. Although his patron maintained a tutor in the house, to superintend theconduct of his heir, he committed the charge of his learning to theinstructions of a public school; where he imagined the boy would imbibe alaudable spirit of emulation among his fellows, which could not fail ofturning out to the advantage of his education. Ferdinand was entered inthe same academy; and the two lads proceeded equally in the paths oferudition; a mutual friendship and intimacy soon ensued, and, notwithstanding the levity and caprice commonly discernible in thebehaviour of such boys, very few or rather no quarrels happened in thecourse of their communication. Yet their dispositions were altogetherdifferent, and their talents unlike. Nay, this dissimilarity was thevery bond of their union; because it prevented that jealousy andrivalship which often interrupts the harmony of two warm contemporaries. 

The young Count made extraordinary progress in the exercises of theschool, though he seemed to take very little pains in the cultivation ofhis studies; and became a perfect hero in all the athletic diversions ofhis fellow-scholars; but, at the same time, exhibited such a bashfulappearance and uncouth address, that his mother despaired of ever seeinghim improved into any degree of polite behaviour. On the other hand, Fathom, who was in point of learning a mere dunce, became, even in hischildhood, remarkable among the ladies for his genteel deportment andvivacity; they admired the proficiency he made under the directions ofhis dancing-master, the air with which he performed his obeisance at hisentrance and exit; and were charmed with the agreeable assurance andlively sallies of his conversation; while they expressed the utmostconcern and disgust at the boorish demeanour of his companion, whoseextorted bows resembled the pawings of a mule, who hung his head insilence like a detected sheep-stealer, who sat in company under the mostawkward expressions of constraint, and whose discourse never exceeded thesimple monosyllables of negation and assent. 

In vain did all the females of the family propose to him young Fathom, asa pattern and reproach. He remained unaltered by all their efforts andexpostulations, and allowed our adventurer to enjoy the triumph of hispraise, while he himself was conscious of his own superiority in thosequalifications which seemed of more real importance than the mereexteriors and forms of life. His present ambition was not to make afigure at his father's table, but to eclipse his rivals at school, and toacquire an influence and authority among these confederates. Nevertheless, Fathom might possibly have fallen under his displeasure orcontempt, had not that pliant genius found means to retain his friendshipby seasonable compliances and submission; for the sole study, or at leastthe chief aim of Ferdinand, was to make himself necessary and agreeableto those on whom his dependence was placed. His talent was in thisparticular suited to his inclination; he seemed to have inherited it fromhis mother's womb; and, without all doubt, would have raised upon it amost admirable superstructure of fortune and applause, had not it beeninseparably yoked with a most insidious principle of self-love, that grewup with him from the cradle, and left no room in his heart for the leastparticle of social virtue. This last, however, he knew so well how tocounterfeit, by means of a large share of ductility and dissimulation, that, surely, he was calculated by nature to dupe even the most cautious, and gratify his appetites, by levying contributions on all mankind. 

So little are the common instructors of youth qualified to judge thecapacities of those who are under their tutelage and care, that Fathom, by dint of his insinuating arts, made shift to pass upon the schoolmasteras a lad of quick parts, in despite of a natural inaptitude to retain hislessons, which all his industry could never overcome. In order toremedy, or rather to cloak this defect in his understanding, he hadalways recourse to the friendship of the young Count, who freelypermitted him to transcribe his exercises, until a small accidenthappened, which had well-nigh put a stop to these instances of hisgenerosity. --The adventure, inconsiderable as it is, we shall record, asthe first overt act of Ferdinand's true character, as well as anillustration of the opinion we have advanced touching the blind andinjudicious decisions of a right pedagogue. 

Among other tasks imposed by the pedant upon the form to which our twocompanions belonged, they were one evening ordered to translate a chapterof Caesar's Commentaries. Accordingly the young Count went to work, andperformed the undertaking with great elegance and despatch. Fathom, having spent the night in more effeminate amusements, was next morning somuch hurried for want of time, that in his transcription he neglected toinsert a few variations from the text, these being the terms on which hewas allowed to use it; so that it was verbatim a copy of the original. As those exercises were always delivered in a heap, subscribed with theseveral names of the boys to whom they belonged, the schoolmaster chancedto peruse the version of Ferdinand, before he looked into any of therest, and could not help bestowing upon it particular marks ofapprobation. The next that fell under his examination was that of theyoung Count, when he immediately perceived the sameness, and, far fromimputing it to the true cause, upbraided him with having copied theexercise of our adventurer, and insisted upon chastising him upon thespot for his want of application. 

Had not the young gentleman thought his honour was concerned, he wouldhave submitted to the punishment without murmuring; but he inherited, from his parents, the pride of two fierce nations, and, being overwhelmedwith reproaches for that which he imagined ought to have redounded to hisglory, he could not brook the indignity, and boldly affirmed, that hehimself was the original, to whom Ferdinand was beholden for hisperformance. The schoolmaster, nettled to find himself mistaken in hisjudgment, resolved that the Count should have no cause to exult in thediscovery he had made, and, like a true flogger, actually whipped him forhaving allowed Fathom to copy his exercise. Nay, in the hope ofvindicating his own penetration, he took an opportunity of questioningFerdinand in private concerning the circumstances of the translation, andour hero, perceiving his drift, gave him such artful and ambiguousanswers, as persuaded him that the young Count had acted the part of aplagiary, and that the other had been restrained from doing himselfjustice, by the consideration of his own dependence. 

This profound director did not fail, in honour of his own discernment, towhisper about the misrepresentation, as an instance of the young Count'sinsolence, and Fathom's humility and good sense. The story wascirculated among the servants, especially the maids belonging to thefamily, whose favour our hero had acquired by his engaging behaviour; andat length it reached the ears of his patron, who, incensed at his son'spresumption and inhospitality, called him to a severe account, when theyoung gentleman absolutely denied the truth of the allegation, andappealed to the evidence of Fathom himself. Our adventurer wasaccordingly summoned by the father, and encouraged to declare the truth, with an assurance of his constant protection; upon which Ferdinand verywisely fell upon his knees, and, while the tears gushed from his eyes, acquitted the young Count of the imputation, and expressed hisapprehension, that the report had been spread by some of his enemies, whowanted to prejudice him in the opinion of his patron. 

The old gentleman was not satisfied of his son's integrity by thisdeclaration; being naturally of a generous disposition, highlyprepossessed in favour of the poor orphan, and chagrined at theunpromising appearance of his heir, he suspected that Fathom was overawedby the fear of giving offence, and that, notwithstanding what he hadsaid, the case really stood as it had been represented. In thispersuasion, he earnestly exhorted his son to resist and combat with anyimpulse he might feel within himself, tending to selfishness, fraud, orimposition; to encourage every sentiment of candour and benevolence, andto behave with moderation and affability to all his fellow-creatures. Helaid upon him strong injunctions, not without a mixture of threats, toconsider Fathom as the object of his peculiar regard; to respect him asthe son of the Count's preserver, as a Briton, a stranger, and, aboveall, an helpless orphan, to whom the rights of hospitality were doublydue. 

Such admonitions were not lost upon the youth, who, under the rough huskof his personal exhibition, possessed a large share of generoussensibility. Without any formal professions to his father, he resolvedto govern himself according to his remonstrances; and, far fromconceiving the least spark of animosity against Fathom, he looked uponthe poor boy as the innocent cause of his disgrace, and redoubled hiskindness towards him, that his honour might never again be calledin question, upon the same subject. Nothing is more liable tomisconstruction than an act of uncommon generosity; one half of the worldmistake the motive, from want of ideas to conceive an instance ofbeneficence that soars so high above the level of their own sentiments;and the rest suspect it of something sinister or selfish, from thesuggestions of their own sordid and vicious inclinations. The youngCount subjected himself to such misinterpretation, among those whoobserved the increased warmth of civility and complaisance in hisbehaviour to Ferdinand. They ascribed it to his desire of stillprofiting by our adventurer's superior talents, by which alone theysupposed him enabled to maintain any degree of reputation at school; orto the fear of being convicted by him of some misdemeanour of which heknew himself guilty. These suspicions were not effaced by the conduct ofFerdinand, who, when examined on the subject, managed his answers in sucha manner, as confirmed their conjectures, while he pretended to refutethem, and at the same time acquired to himself credit for hisextraordinary discretion and self-denial. 

If he exhibited such a proof of sagacity in the twelfth year of his age, what might not be expected from his finesse in the maturity of hisfaculties and experience? Thus secured in the good graces of the wholefamily, he saw the days of his puerility glide along in the mostagreeable elapse of caresses and amusement. He never fairly plunged intothe stream of school-education, but, by floating on the surface, imbibeda small tincture of those different sciences which his master pretendedto teach. In short, he resembled those vagrant swallows that skim alongthe level of some pool or river, without venturing to wet one feather intheir wings, except in the accidental pursuit of an inconsiderable fly. Yet, though his capacity or inclination was unsuited for studies of thiskind, he did not fail to manifest a perfect genius in the acquisition ofother more profitable arts. Over and above the accomplishments ofaddress, for which he hath been already celebrated, he excelled all hisfellows in his dexterity at fives and billiards; was altogetherunrivalled in his skill at draughts and backgammon; began, even at theseyears, to understand the moves and schemes of chess; and made himself amere adept in the mystery of cards, which he learned in the course of hisassiduities and attention to the females of the house. 

CHAPTER SIX

HE MEDITATES SCHEMES OF IMPORTANCE. 

It was in these parties that he attracted the notice and friendship ofhis patron's daughter, a girl by two years older than himself, who wasnot insensible to his qualifications, and looked upon him with the mostfavourable eyes of prepossession. Whether or not he at this period ofhis life began to project plans for availing himself of hersusceptibility, is uncertain; but, without all doubt, he cultivated heresteem with as obsequious and submissive attention as if he had alreadyformed the design, which, in his advanced age, he attempted to put inexecution. 

Divers circumstances conspired to promote him in the favour of this younglady; the greenness of his years secured him from any appearance offallacious aim; so that he was indulged in frequent opportunities ofconversing with his young mistress, whose parents encouraged thiscommunication, by which they hoped she would improve in speaking thelanguage of her father. Such connexions naturally produce intimacy andfriendship. Fathom's person was agreeable, his talents calculated forthe meridian of those parties, and his manners so engaging, that therewould have been no just subject for wonder, had he made an impressionupon the tender unexperienced heart of Mademoiselle de Melvil, whosebeauty was not so attractive as to extinguish his hope, in raising up anumber of formidable rivals; though her expectations of fortune were suchas commonly lend additional lustre to personal merit. 

All these considerations were so many steps towards the success ofFerdinand's pretensions; and though he cannot be supposed to haveperceived them at first, he in the sequel seemed perfectly well apprisedof his advantages, and used them to the full extent of his faculties. Observing that she delighted in music, he betook himself to the study ofthat art, and, by dint of application and a tolerable ear, learned ofhimself to accompany her with a German flute, while she sung and playedupon the harpsichord. The Count, seeing his inclination, and theprogress he had made, resolved that his capacity should not be lost forwant of cultivation; and accordingly provided him with a master, by whomhe was instructed in the principles of the art, and soon became aproficient in playing upon the violin. 

In the practice of these improvements and avocations, and in attendanceupon his young master, whom he took care never to disoblige or neglect, he attained to the age of sixteen, without feeling the least abatement inthe friendship and generosity of those upon whom he depended; but, on thecontrary, receiving every day fresh marks of their bounty and regard. Hehad before this time been smit with the ambition of making a conquest ofthe young lady's heart, and foresaw manifold advantages to himself inbecoming son-in-law to Count Melvil, who, he never doubted, would soon bereconciled to the match, if once it could be effectuated without hisknowledge. Although he thought he had great reason to believe thatMademoiselle looked upon him with an eye of peculiar favour, hisdisposition was happily tempered with an ingredient of caution, thathindered him from acting with precipitation; and he had discerned in theyoung lady's deportment certain indications of loftiness and pride, whichkept him in the utmost vigilance and circumspection; for he knew, that, by a premature declaration, he should run the risk of forfeiting all theadvantages he had gained, and blasting those expectations that nowblossomed so gaily in his heart. 

Restricted by these reflections, he acted at a wary distance, anddetermined to proceed by the method of sap, and, summoning all hisartifice and attractions to his aid, employed them under the insidiouscover of profound respect, in order to undermine those bulwarks ofhaughtiness or discretion, which otherwise might have rendered hisapproaches to her impracticable. With a view to enhance the value of hiscompany, and sound her sentiments at the same time, he became morereserved than usual, and seldomer engaged in her parties of music andcards; yet, in the midst of his reserve, he never failed in thosedemonstrations of reverence and regard, which he knew perfectly well howto express, but devised such excuses for his absence, as she could nothelp admitting. In consequence of this affected shyness, she more thanonce gently chid him for his neglect and indifference, observing, with anironical air, that he was now too much of a man to be entertained withsuch effeminate diversions; but her reproofs were pronounced with toomuch ease and good-humour to be agreeable to our hero, who desired to seeher ruffled and chagrined at his absence, and to hear himself rebukedwith an angry affectation of disdain. This effort, therefore, hereinforced with the most captivating carriage he could assume, in thosehours which he now so sparingly bestowed upon his mistress. He regaledher with all the entertaining stories he could learn or invent, particularly such as he thought would justify and recommend the levellingpower of love, that knows no distinctions of fortune. He sung nothingbut tender airs and passionate complaints, composed by desponding ordespairing swains; and, to render his performances of this kind the morepathetic, interlarded them with some seasonable sighs, while the tears, which he had ever at command, stood collected in either eye. 

It was impossible for her to overlook such studied emotions; she in ajocose manner taxed him with having lost his heart, rallied the excess ofhis passion, and in a merry strain undertook to be an advocate for hislove. Her behaviour was still wide of his wish and expectation. Hethought she would, in consequence of her discovery, have betrayed someinterested symptom; that her face would have undergone some favourablesuffusion; that her tongue would have faltered, her breast heaved, andher whole deportment betokened internal agitation and disorder, in whichcase, he meant to profit by the happy impression, and declare himself, before she could possibly recollect the dictates of her pride. --Baffledhowever in his endeavours, by the serenity of the young lady, which hestill deemed equivocal, he had recourse to another experiment, by whichhe believed he should make a discovery of her sentiments beyond allpossibility of doubt. One day, while he accompanied Mademoiselle in herexercise of music, he pretended all of a sudden to be taken ill, andcounterfeited a swoon in her apartment. Surprised at this accident, shescreamed aloud, but far from running to his assistance, with thetransports and distraction of a lover, she ordered her maid, who waspresent, to support his head, and went in person to call for more help. He was accordingly removed to his own chamber, where, willing to be stillmore certified of her inclinations, he prolonged the farce, and laygroaning under the pretence of a severe fever. 

The whole family was alarmed upon this occasion; for, as we have alreadyobserved, he was an universal favourite. He was immediately visited bythe old Count and his lady, who expressed the utmost concern at hisdistemper, ordered him to be carefully attended, and sent for a physicianwithout loss of time. The young gentleman would scarce stir from hisbedside, where he ministered unto him with all the demonstrations ofbrotherly affection; and Miss exhorted him to keep up his spirits, withmany expressions of unreserved sympathy and regard. Nevertheless, he sawnothing in her behaviour but what might be naturally expected from commonfriendship, and a compassionate disposition, and was very much mortifiedat his disappointment. 

Whether the miscarriage actually affected his constitution, or the doctorhappened to be mistaken in his diagnostics, we shall not pretend todetermine; but the patient was certainly treated secundum artem, and allhis complaints in a little time realised; for the physician, like a truegraduate, had an eye to the apothecary in his prescriptions; and such wasthe concern and scrupulous care with which our hero was attended, thatthe orders of the faculty were performed with the utmost punctuality. Hewas blooded, vomited, purged, and blistered, in the usual forms (for thephysicians of Hungary are generally as well skilled in the arts of theiroccupation as any other leeches under the sun), and swallowed a wholedispensary of bolusses, draughts, and apozems, by which means he becamefairly delirious in three days, and so untractable, that he could be nolonger managed according to rule; otherwise, in all likelihood, the worldwould never have enjoyed the benefit of these adventures. In short, hisconstitution, though unable to cope with two such formidable antagonistsas the doctor and the disease he had conjured up, was no sooner rid ofthe one, than it easily got the better of the other; and thoughFerdinand, after all, found his grand aim unaccomplished, his malady wasproductive of a consequence, which, though he had not foreseen it, he didnot fail to convert to his own use and advantage. 

CHAPTER SEVEN

ENGAGES IN PARTNERSHIP WITH A FEMALE ASSOCIATE, IN ORDER TO PUT HISTALENTS IN ACTION. 

While he displayed his qualifications in order to entrap the heart of hisyoung mistress, he had unwittingly enslaved the affections of her maid. This attendant was also a favourite of the young lady, and, though hersenior by two or three good years at least, unquestionably her superiorin point of personal beauty; she moreover possessed a good stock ofcunning and discernment, and was furnished by nature with a very amorouscomplexion. These circumstances being premised, the reader will not besurprised to find her smitten by those uncommon qualifications which wehave celebrated in young Fathom. She had in good sooth long sighed insecret, under the powerful influence of his charms, and practised uponhim all those little arts, by which a woman strives to attract theadmiration, and ensnare the heart of a man she loves; but all hisfaculties were employed upon the plan which he had already projected;that was the goal of his whole attention, to which all his measurestended; and whether or not he perceived the impression he had made uponTeresa, he never gave her the least reason to believe he was conscious ofhis victory, until he found himself baffled in his design upon the heartof her mistress. --She therefore persevered in her distant attempts toallure him, with the usual coquetries of dress and address, and, in thesweet hope of profiting by his susceptibility, made shift to suppress herfeelings, and keep her passion within bounds, until his supposed dangeralarmed her fears, and raised such a tumult within her breast, that shecould no longer conceal her love, but gave a loose to her sorrow in themost immoderate expressions of anguish and affliction, and, while hisdelirium lasted, behaved with all the agitation of a despairingshepherdess. 

Ferdinand was, or pretended to be, the last person in the family whounderstood the situation of her thoughts; when he perceived her passion, he entered into deliberation with himself, and tasked his reflection andforesight, in order to discover how best he might convert this conquestto his own advantage. Here, then, that we may neglect no opportunity ofdoing justice to our hero, it will be proper to observe, that, howsoeverunapt his understanding might be to receive and retain the usual cultureof the schools, he was naturally a genius self-taught, in point ofsagacity and invention. --He dived into the characters of mankind, with apenetration peculiar to himself, and, had he been admitted as a pupil inany political academy, would have certainly become one of the ableststatesmen in Europe. 

Having revolved all the probable consequences of such a connexion, hedetermined to prosecute an amour with the lady whose affection he hadsubdued; because he hoped to interest her as an auxiliary in his grandscheme upon Mademoiselle, which he did not as yet think proper to layaside; for he was not more ambitious in the plan, than indefatigable inthe prosecution of it. He knew it would be impossible to execute hisaims upon the Count's daughter under the eye of Teresa, whose naturaldiscernment would be whetted with jealousy, and who would watch hisconduct, and thwart his progress with all the vigilance and spite of aslighted maiden. On the other hand, he did not doubt of being able tobring her over to his interest, by the influence he had already gained, or might afterwards acquire over her passions; in which case, she wouldeffectually espouse his cause, and employ her good offices with hermistress in his behalf; besides, he was induced by another motive, which, though secondary, did not fail in this case to have an effect upon hisdetermination. He looked upon Teresa with the eyes of appetite, which helonged to gratify; for he was not at all dead to the instigations of theflesh, though he had philosophy enough to resist them, when he thoughtthey interfered with his interest. Here the case was quite different. His desire happened to be upon the side of his advantage, and therefore, resolving to indulge it, he no sooner found himself in a condition tomanage such an adventure, than he began to make gradual advances in pointof warmth and particular complacency to the love-sick maid. 

He first of all thanked her, in the most grateful terms, for the concernshe had manifested at his distemper, and the kind services he hadreceived from her during the course of it; he treated her upon alloccasions with unusual affability and regard, assiduously courted heracquaintance and conversation, and contracted an intimacy that in alittle time produced a declaration of love. Although her heart was toomuch intendered to hold out against all the forms of assault, far fromyielding at discretion, she stood upon honourable terms, with greatobstinacy of punctilio, and, while she owned he was master of herinclinations, gave him to understand, with a peremptory and resolute air, that he should never make a conquest of her virtue; observing, that, ifthe passion he professed was genuine, he would not scruple to give such aproof of it as would at once convince her of his sincerity; and that hecould have no just cause to refuse her that satisfaction, she being hisequal in point of birth and situation; for, if he was the companion andfavourite of the young Count, she was the friend and confidant ofMademoiselle. 

He acknowledged the strength of her argument, and that her condescensionwas greater than his deserts, but objected against the proposal, asinfinitely prejudicial to the fortunes of them both. He represented thestate of dependence in which they mutually stood; their utter incapacityto support one another under the consequences of a precipitate match, clandestinely made, without the consent and concurrence of their patrons. He displayed, with great eloquence, all those gay expectations they hadreason to entertain, from that eminent degree of favour which they hadalready secured in the family; and set forth, in the most alluringcolours, those enchanting scenes of pleasure they might enjoy in eachother, without that disagreeable consciousness of a nuptial chain, provided she would be his associate in the execution of a plan which hehad projected for their reciprocal convenience. 

Having thus inflamed her love of pleasure and curiosity, he, with greatcaution, hinted his design upon the young lady's fortune, and, perceivingher listening with the most greedy attention, and perfectly ripe for theconspiracy, he disclosed his intention at full length, assuring her, withthe most solemn protestations of love and attachment, that, could he oncemake himself legal possessor of an estate which Mademoiselle inherited bythe will of a deceased aunt, his dear Teresa should reap the happy fruitsof his affluence, and wholly engross his time and attention. 

Such a base declaration our hero would not have ventured to make, had henot implicitly believed the damsel was as great a latitudinarian ashimself, in point of morals and principle; and been well assured, that, though he should be mistaken in her way of thinking, so far as to bethreatened with a detection of his purpose, he would always have it inhis power to refute her accusation as mere calumny, by the character hehad hitherto maintained, and the circumspection of his future conduct. 

He seldom or never erred in his observations on the human heart. Teresa, instead of disapproving, relished the plan in general, withdemonstrations of singular satisfaction. She at once conceived all theadvantageous consequences of such a scheme, and perceived in it only oneflaw, which, however, she did not think incurable. This defect was noother than a sufficient bond of union, by which they might be effectuallytied down to their mutual interest. She foresaw, that, in case Ferdinandshould obtain possession of the prize, he might, with great ease, denytheir contract, and disavow her claim of participation. She thereforedemanded security, and proposed, as a preliminary of the agreement, thathe should privately take her to wife, with a view to dispel all herapprehensions of his inconstancy or deceit, as such a previous engagementwould be a check upon his behaviour, and keep him strictly to the letterof their contract. 

He could not help subscribing to the righteousness of this proposal, which, nevertheless, he would have willingly waived, on the suppositionthat they could not possibly be joined in the bands of wedlock with suchsecrecy as the nature of the case absolutely required. This would havebeen a difficulty soon removed, had the scene of the transaction beenlaid in the metropolis of England, where passengers are plied in thestreets by clergymen, who prostitute their characters and consciences forhire, in defiance of all decency and law; but in the kingdom of Hungary, ecclesiastics are more scrupulous in the exercise of their function, andthe objection was, or supposed to be, altogether insurmountable; so thatthey were fain to have recourse to an expedient, with which, after somehesitation, our she-adventurer was satisfied. They joined hands in thesight of Heaven, which they called to witness, and to judge the sincerityof their vows, and engaged, in a voluntary oath, to confirm their unionby the sanction of the church, whenever a convenient opportunity for sodoing should occur. 

The scruples of Teresa being thus removed, she admitted Ferdinand to theprivileges of a husband, which he enjoyed in stolen interviews, andreadily undertook to exert her whole power in promoting his suit with heryoung mistress, because she now considered his interest as inseparablyconnected with her own. Surely nothing could be more absurd orpreposterous than the articles of this covenant, which she insisted uponwith such inflexibility. How could she suppose that her pretended loverwould be restrained by an oath, when the very occasion of incurring itwas an intention to act in violation of all laws human and divine? andyet such ridiculous conjuration is commonly the cement of everyconspiracy, how dark, how treacherous, how impious soever it may be: acertain sign that there are some remains of religion left in the humanmind, even after every moral sentiment hath abandoned it; and that themost execrable ruffian finds means to quiet the suggestions of hisconscience, by some reversionary hope of Heaven's forgiveness. 

CHAPTER EIGHT

THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT; WITH A DIGRESSION WHICH SOME READERS MAY THINKIMPERTINENT. 

Be this as it will, our lovers, though real voluptuaries, amidst thefirst transports of their enjoyment did not neglect the great politicalaim of their conjunction. Teresa's bedchamber, to which our heroconstantly repaired at midnight, was the scene of their deliberations, and there it was determined that the damsel, in order to avoid suspicion, should feign herself irritated at the indifference of Ferdinand, herpassion for whom was by this time no secret in the family; and that, witha view to countenance this affectation, he should upon all occasionstreat her with an air of loftiness and disdain. 

So screened from all imputation of fraud, she was furnished by him withartful instructions how to sound the inclinations of her young mistress, how to recommend his person and qualifications by the sure methods ofcontradiction, comparisons, revilings, and reproach; how to watch theparoxysms of her disposition, inflame her passions, and improve, for hisadvantage, those moments of frailty from which no woman is exempted. Inshort, this consummate politician taught his agent to poison the younglady's mind with insidious conversation, tending to inspire her with thelove of guilty pleasure, to debauch her sentiments, and confound herideas of dignity and virtue. After all, the task is not difficult tolead the unpractised heart astray, by dint of those opportunities herseducer possessed. The seeds of insinuation seasonably sown upon thewarm luxuriant soil of youth, could hardly fail of shooting up into suchintemperate desires as he wanted to produce, especially when cultured andcherished in her unguarded hours, by that stimulating discourse whichfamiliarity admits, and the looser passions, ingrafted in every breast, are apt to relish and excuse. 

Fathom had previously reconnoitred the ground, and discovered some marksof inflammability in Mademoiselle's constitution; her beauty was not suchas to engage her in those gaieties of amusement which could flatter hervanity and dissipate her ideas; and she was of an age when the littleloves and young desires take possession of the fancy; he thereforeconcluded, that she had the more leisure to indulge these enticing imagesof pleasure that youth never fails to create, particularly in those who, like her, were addicted to solitude and study. 

Teresa, full fraught with the wily injunctions of her confederate, tookthe field, and opened the campaign with such remarkable sourness in heraspect when Ferdinand appeared, that her young lady could not help takingnotice of her affected chagrin, and asked the reason of such apparentalteration in her way of thinking. Prepared for this question, the otherreplied, in a manner calculated for giving Mademoiselle to understand, that, whatever impressions Ferdinand might have formerly made on herheart, they were now altogether effaced by the pride and insolence withwhich he had received her advances; and that her breast now glowed withall the revenge of a slighted lover. 

To evince the sincerity of this declaration, she bitterly inveighedagainst him, and even affected to depreciate those talents, in which sheknew his chief merit to consist; hoping, by these means, to interestMademoiselle's candour in his defence. So far the train succeeded. Thatyoung lady's love for truth was offended at the calumnies that werevented against Ferdinand in his absence. She chid her woman for therancour of her remarks, and undertook to refute the articles of hisdispraise. Teresa supported her own assertions with great obstinacy, anda dispute ensued, in which her mistress was heated into some extravagantcommendations of our adventurer. 

His supposed enemy did not fail to make a report of her success, and tomagnify every advantage they had gained; believing, in good earnest, thather lady's warmth was the effect of a real passion for the fortunate Mr. Fathom. But he himself viewed the adventure in a different light, andrightly imputed the violence of Mademoiselle's behaviour to thecontradiction she had sustained from her maid, or to the fire of hernatural generosity glowing in behalf of innocence traduced. Nevertheless, he was perfectly well pleased with the nature of thecontest; because, in the course of such debates, he foresaw that heshould become habitually her hero, and that, in time, she would actuallybelieve those exaggerations of his merit, which she herself had feigned, for the honour of her own arguments. 

This presage, founded upon that principle of self-respect, without whichno individual exists, may certainly be justified by manifold occurrencesin life. We ourselves have known a very pregnant example, which we shallrelate, for the emolument of the reader. A certain needy author havingfound means to present a manuscript to one of those sons of fortune whoare dignified with the appellation of patrons, instead of reaping thatapplause and advantage with which he had regaled his fancy, had themortification to find his performance treated with infinite irreverenceand contempt, and, in high dudgeon and disappointment, appealed to thejudgment of another critic, who, he knew, had no veneration for thefirst. 

This common consolation, to which all baffled authors have recourse, wasproductive of very happy consequences to our bard; for, though theopinions of both judges concerning the piece were altogether the same, the latter, either out of compassion to the appellant, or desire ofrendering his rival ridiculous in the eye of taste, undertook to repairthe misfortune, and in this manner executed the plan. In a meeting ofliterati, to which both these wits belonged, he who had espoused thepoet's cause, having previously desired another member to bring hiscomposition on the carpet, no sooner heard it mentioned, than he began tocensure it with flagrant marks of scorn, and, with an ironical air, looking at its first condemner, observed, that he must be furiouslyinfected with the rage of patronising, who could take such a deplorableperformance into his protection. The sarcasm took effect. 

The person against whom it was levelled, taking umbrage at hispresumption, assumed an aspect of disdain, and replied with greatanimosity, that nothing was more easily supported than the character of aZoilus, because no production was altogether free from blemishes; and anyman might pronounce against any piece by the lump, without interestinghis own discernment; but to perceive the beauties of a work, it wasrequisite to have learning, judgment, and taste; and therefore he did notwonder that the gentleman had overlooked a great many in the compositionwhich he so contemptuously decried. A rejoinder succeeded this reply, and produced a long train of altercation, in which the gentleman, who hadformerly treated the book with such disrespect, now professed himself itspassionate admirer, and held forth in praise of it with great warmth andelocution. 

Not contented with having exhibited this instance of regard, he nextmorning sent a message to the owner, importing, that he had butsuperficially glanced over the manuscript, and desiring the favour ofperusing it a second time. Being indulged in this request, herecommended it in terms of rapture to all his friends and dependants, and, by dint of unwearied solicitation, procured a very amplesubscription for the author. 

But, to resume the thread of our story. Teresa's practices were notconfined to simple defamation. Her reproaches were contrived so as toimply some intelligence in favour of the person she reviled. Inexemplifying his pertness and arrogance, she repeated his witty repartee;on pretence of blaming his ferocity, she recounted proofs of his spiritand prowess; and, in explaining the source of his vanity, gave hermistress to understand, that a certain young lady of fashion was said tobe enamoured of his person. Nor did this well-instructed understrapperomit those other parts of her cue which the principal judged necessaryfor the furtherance of his scheme. Her conversation became less guarded, and took a freer turn than usual; she seized all opportunities ofintroducing little amorous stories, the greatest part of which wereinvented for the purposes of warming her passions, and lowering the priceof chastity in her esteem; for she represented all the young lady'scontemporaries in point of age and situation, as so many sensualists, who, without scruple, indulged themselves in the stolen pleasures ofyouth. 

Meanwhile, Ferdinand seconded these endeavours with his whole industryand address. He redoubled, if possible, his deference and respect, whetting his assiduity to the keenest edge of attention; and, in short, regulated his dress, conversation, and deportment, according to thefancy, turn, and prevailing humour of his young mistress. He, moreover, attempted to profit by her curiosity, which he knew to be truly feminine;and having culled from the library of his patron certain dangerous books, calculated to debauch the minds of young people, left them occasionallyupon the table in his apartment, after having directed Teresa to pickthem up, as if by accident, in his absence, and carry them off for theentertainment of Mademoiselle; nay, this crafty projector found means tofurnish his associate with some mischievous preparations, which weremingled in her chocolate, tea, or coffee, as provocations to warm herconstitution; yet all these machinations, ingenious as they were, failed, not only in fulfilling their aim, but even in shaking the foundations ofher virtue or pride, which stood their assaults unmoved, like a strongtower built upon a rock, impregnable to all the tempestuous blasts ofheaven. 

Not but that the conspirators were more than once mistaken in the effectsof their artifices, and disposed to applaud themselves on the progressthey had made. When at any time she expressed a desire to examine thoseperformances which were laid before her as snares to entrap her chastity, they attributed that, which was no other than curiosity, to a loosenessof sentiment; and when she discovered no aversion to hear those anecdotesconcerning the frailty of her neighbours, they imputed to abatement ofchastity that satisfaction which was the result of self-congratulation onher own superior virtue. 

So far did the treacherous accomplice of Fathom presume upon thesemisconstructions, that she at length divested her tongue of allrestraint, and behaved in such a manner, that the young lady, confoundedand incensed at her indecency and impudence, rebuked her with greatseverity, and commanded her to reform her discourse, on pain of beingdismissed with disgrace from her service. 

CHAPTER NINE

THE CONFEDERATES CHANGE THEIR BATTERY, AND ACHIEVE A REMARKABLEADVENTURE. 

Thunderstruck at this disappointment, the confederates held a council, inorder to deliberate upon the next measures that should be taken; andFerdinand, for the present, despairing of accomplishing his grand aim, resolved to profit in another manner, by the conveniency of hissituation. He represented to his helpmate, that it would be prudent forthem to make hay while the sun shone, as their connexion might be sooneror later discovered, and an end put to all those opportunities which theynow so happily enjoyed. All principles of morality had been alreadyexcluded from their former plan; consequently he found it an easy task tointerest Teresa in any other scheme tending to their mutual advantage, howsoever wicked and perfidious it might be. He therefore persuaded herto be his auxiliary in defrauding Mademoiselle at play, and gave hersuitable directions for that purpose; and even tutored her how to abusethe trust reposed in her, by embezzling the young lady's effects, withoutincurring the suspicion of dishonesty. 

On the supposition that every servant in the house was not able to resistsuch temptation, the purse of her mistress, to which the maid had alwaysaccess, was dropped in a passage which the domestics had occasion tofrequent; and Fathom posted himself in a convenient place, in order toobserve the effect of his stratagem. Here he was not disappointed in hisconjecture. The first person who chanced to pass that way, was one ofthe chambermaids, with whom Teresa had lived for some time in a state ofinveterate enmity, because the wench had failed in that homage andrespect which was paid to her by the rest of the servants. 

Ferdinand had, in his heart, espoused the quarrel of his associate, andlonged for an occasion to deliver her from the malicious observance ofsuch an antagonist. When he, therefore, saw her approach, his heartthrobbed with joyful expectations; but, when she snatched up the purse, and thrust it in her bosom, with all the eagerness and confusion of onedetermined to appropriate the windfall to her own use, his transportswere altogether unspeakable. He traced her to her own apartment, whithershe immediately retreated with great trepidation, and then communicatedthe discovery to Teresa, together with instructions how to behave in thesequel. 

In conformity with these lessons, she took the first opportunity of goingto Mademoiselle, and demanding money for some necessary expense, that theloss might be known before the finder could have leisure to make anyfresh conveyance of the prize; and, in the meantime, Ferdinand kept astrict eye upon the motions of the chambermaid. The young lady, havingrummaged her pockets in vain, expressed some surprise at the loss of herpurse; upon which her attendant gave indications of extreme amazement andconcern. She said, it could not possibly be lost; entreated her tosearch her escritoir, while she herself ran about the room, prying intoevery corner, with all the symptoms of fear and distraction. Having madethis unsuccessful inquiry, she pretended to shed a flood of tears, bewailing her own fate, in being near the person of any lady who met withsuch a misfortune, by which, she observed, her character might be calledin question. She produced her own keys, and begged upon her knees, thather chamber and boxes might be searched without delay. 

In a word, she demeaned herself so artfully upon this occasion, that hermistress, who never entertained the least doubt of her integrity, nowlooked upon her as a miracle of fidelity and attachment, and was atinfinite pains to console her for the accident which had happened;protesting that, for her own part, the loss of the money should neveraffect her with a moment's uneasiness, if she could retrieve a certainmedal which she had long kept in her purse, as a remembrance of herdeceased aunt, from whom she received it in a present. 

Fathom entered accidentally into the midst of this well-acted scene, and, perceiving the agitation of the maid, and the concern of the mistress, desired, in a respectful manner, to know the cause of their disorder. Before the young lady had time to make him acquainted with thecircumstances of the case, his accomplice exclaimed, in an affectedpassion, "Mr. Fathom, my lady has lost her purse; and, as no persons inthe family are so much about her as you and I, you must give me leave, inmy own justification, to insist upon Mademoiselle's ordering theapartments of us both to be searched without loss of time. Here are mypockets and my keys, and you cannot scruple to give her the samesatisfaction; for innocence has nothing to fear. "

Miss Melvil reprimanded her sharply for her unmannerly zeal; andFerdinand eyeing her with a look of disdain, "Madam, " said he, "I approveof your proposal; but, before I undergo such mortification, I wouldadvise Mademoiselle to subject the two chambermaids to such inquiry; asthey also have access to the apartments, and are, I apprehend, as likelyas you or I to behave in such a scandalous manner. "

The young lady declared that she was too well satisfied of Teresa'shonesty and Ferdinand's honour, to harbour the least suspicion of either, and that she would sooner die than disgrace them so far as to comply withthe proposal the former had made; but as she saw no reason for exemptingthe inferior servants from that examination which Fathom advised, shewould forthwith put it in execution. The chambermaids being accordinglysummoned, she calmly asked if either of them had accidentally found thepurse she had dropped? and both replying in the negative, she assumed anair of severity and determination, and demanding their keys, threatenedto examine their trunks on the instant. 

The guilty Abigail, who, though an Hungarian, was not inferior, in pointof effrontery, to any one of the sisterhood in England, no sooner heardthis menace, than she affected an air of affronted innocence, thanked Godshe had lived in many reputable families, and been trusted with untoldgold, but was never before suspected of theft; that the other maid mightdo as she should think proper, and be mean-spirited enough to let herthings be tumbled topsy-turvy and exposed; but, for her own part, if sheshould be used in that inhuman and disgraceful manner, she would not stayanother hour in the house; and in conclusion said, that Mademoiselle hadmore reason to look sharp after those who enjoyed the greatest share ofher favour, than believe their malicious insinuations against innocentpeople whom they were well known to hate and defame. 

This declaration, implying an hint to the prejudice of Teresa, far fromdiverting Miss Melvil from her purpose, served only to enhance thecharacter of the accused in her opinion, and to confirm her suspicion ofthe accuser, of whom she again demanded her keys, protesting that, shouldshe prove refractory, the Count himself should take cognisance of theaffair, whereas, if she would deal ingenuously, she should have no causeto repent of her confession. So saying, she desired our adventurer totake the trouble of calling up some of the men-servants; upon which theconscious criminal began to tremble, and, falling upon her knees, acknowledged her guilt, and implored the forgiveness of her youngmistress. 

Teresa, seizing this occasion to signalise her generosity, joined in therequest, and the offender was pardoned, after having restored the purse, and promised in the sight of Heaven, that the devil should never againentice her to the commission of such a crime. This adventure fullyanswered all the purposes of our politician; it established the opinionof his fellow-labourer's virtue, beyond the power of accident orinformation to shake, and set up a false beacon to mislead the sentimentsof Mademoiselle, in case she should for the future meet with the likemisfortune. 

CHAPTER TEN

THEY PROCEED TO LEVY CONTRIBUTIONS WITH GREAT SUCCESS, UNTIL OUR HEROSETS OUT WITH THE YOUNG COUNT FOR VIENNA, WHERE HE ENTERS INTO LEAGUEWITH ANOTHER ADVENTURER. 

Under this secure cover, Teresa levied contributions upon her mistresswith great success. Some trinket was missing every day; the young lady'spatience began to fail; the faithful attendant was overwhelmed withconsternation, and, with the appearance of extreme chagrin, demanded herdismission, affirming that these things were certainly effected by someperson in the family, with a view of murdering her precious reputation. Miss Melvil, not without difficulty, quieted her vexation with assurancesof inviolable confidence and esteem, until a pair of diamond earringsvanished, when Teresa could no longer keep her affliction within bounds. Indeed, this was an event of more consequence than all the rest which hadhappened, for the jewels were valued at five hundred florins. 

Mademoiselle was accordingly alarmed to such a degree, that she made hermother acquainted with her loss, and that good lady, who was an excellenteconomist, did not fail to give indications of extraordinary concern. She asked, if her daughter had reason to suspect any individual in thefamily, and if she was perfectly confident of her own woman's integrity?Upon which Mademoiselle, with many encomiums on the fidelity andattachment of Teresa, recounted the adventure of the chambermaid, whoimmediately underwent a strict inquiry, and was even committed to prison, on the strength of her former misdemeanour. Our adventurer's mateinsisted upon undergoing the same trial with the rest of the domestics, and, as usual, comprehended Fathom in her insinuations; while he secondedthe proposal, and privately counselled the old lady to introduce Teresato the magistrate of the place. By these preconcerted recriminations, they escaped all suspicion of collusion. After a fruitless inquiry, theprisoner was discharged from her confinement, and turned out of theservice of the Count, in whose private opinion the character of no personsuffered so much, as that of his own son, whom he suspected of havingembezzled the jewels, for the use of a certain inamorata, who, at thattime, was said to have captivated his affections. 

The old gentleman felt upon this occasion all that internal anguish whicha man of honour may be supposed to suffer, on account of a son'sdegeneracy; and, without divulging his sentiments, or even hinting hissuspicions to the youth himself, determined to detach him at once fromsuch dangerous connexions, by sending him forthwith to Vienna, onpretence of finishing his exercises at the academy, and ushering him intoacquaintance with the great world. Though he would not be thought by theyoung gentleman himself to harbour the least doubt of his morals, he didnot scruple to unbosom himself on that subject to Ferdinand, whosesagacity and virtue he held in great veneration. This indulgent patronexpressed himself in the most pathetic terms, on the untoward dispositionof his son; he told Fathom, that he should accompany Renaldo (that wasthe youth's name) not only as a companion, but a preceptor and pattern;conjured him to assist his tutor in superintending his conduct, and toreinforce the governor's precepts by his own example; to inculcate uponhim the most delicate punctilios of honour, and decoy him intoextravagance, rather than leave the least illiberal sentiment in hisheart. 

Our crafty adventurer, with demonstrations of the utmost sensibility, acknowledged the great goodness of the Count in reposing such confidencein his integrity; which, as he observed, none but the worst of villainscould abuse; and fervently wished that he might no longer exist, than heshould continue to remember and resent the obligations he owed to hiskind benefactor. While preparations were making for their departure, ourhero held a council with his associate, whom he enriched with many sageinstructions touching her future operations; he at the same timedisburdened her of all or the greatest part of the spoils she had won, and after having received divers marks of bounty from the Count and hislady, together with a purse from his young mistress, he set out forVienna, in the eighteenth year of his age, with Renaldo and his governor, who were provided with letters of recommendation to some of the Count'sfriends belonging to the Imperial court. 

Such a favourable introduction could not fail of being advantageous to ayouth of Ferdinand's specious accomplishments; for he was consideredas the young Count's companion, admitted into his parties, and includedin all the entertainments to which Renaldo was invited. He soondistinguished himself by his activity and address, in the course ofthose exercises that were taught at the academy of which he was pupil;his manners were so engaging as to attract the acquaintance of hisfellow-students, and his conversation being sprightly and inoffensive, grew into very great request; in a word, he and the young Count formed aremarkable contrast, which, in the eye of the world, redounded to hisadvantage. 

They were certainly, in all respects, the reverse of each other. Renaldo, under a total defect of exterior cultivation, possessed a mostexcellent understanding, with every virtue that dignifies the humanheart; while the other, beneath a most agreeable outside, with aninaptitude and aversion to letters, concealed an amazing fund of villanyand ingratitude. Hitherto his observation had been confined to a narrowsphere, and his reflections, though surprisingly just and acute, had notattained to that maturity which age and experience give; but now, hisperceptions began to be more distinct, and extended to a thousand objectswhich had never before come under his cognisance. 

He had formerly imagined, but was now fully persuaded, that the sons ofmen preyed upon one another, and such was the end and condition of theirbeing. Among the principal figures of life, he observed few or nocharacters that did not bear a strong analogy to the savage tyrants ofthe wood. One resembled a tiger in fury and rapaciousness; a secondprowled about like an hungry wolf, seeking whom he might devour; a thirdacted the part of a jackal, in beating the bush for game to his voraciousemployer; and the fourth imitated the wily fox, in practising a thousandcrafty ambuscades for the destruction of the ignorant and unwary. Thislast was the department of life for which he found himself best qualifiedby nature and inclination; and he accordingly resolved that his talentshould not rust in his possession. He was already pretty well versed inall the sciences of play; but he had every day occasion to see these artscarried to such a surprising pitch of finesse and dexterity, asdiscouraged him from building his schemes on that foundation. 

He therefore determined to fascinate the judgment, rather than the eyesof his fellow-creatures, by a continual exercise of that gift ofdeceiving, with which he knew himself endued to an unrivalled degree; andto acquire unbounded influence with those who might be subservient to hisinterest, by an assiduous application to their prevailing passions. Notthat play was altogether left out in the projection of his economy. --Though he engaged himself very little in the executive part of gaming, hehad not been long in Vienna, when he entered into league with a genius ofthat kind, whom he distinguished among the pupils of the academy, and whoindeed had taken up his habitation in that place with a view to pillagethe provincials on their first arrival in town, before they could bearmed with proper circumspection to preserve their money, or have time todispose of it in any other shape. 

Similar characters naturally attract each other, and people of our hero'sprinciples are, of all others, the most apt to distinguish their ownlikeness wheresoever it occurs; because they always keep the faculty ofdiscerning in full exertion. It was in consequence of this mutualalertness, that Ferdinand and the stranger, who was a native of Tyrol, perceived themselves reflected in the dispositions of each other, andimmediately entered into an offensive and defensive alliance; ouradventurer undertaking for the articles of intelligence, countenance, andcounsel, and his associate charging himself with the risk of execution. 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

FATHOM MAKES VARIOUS EFFORTS IN THE WORLD OF GALLANTRY. 

Thus connected, they began to hunt in couples; and Fathom, in order toprofit by the alliance with a good grace, contrived a small scheme thatsucceeded to his wish. Renaldo being one night intoxicated in the courseof a merry-making with his fellow-pupils, from which Fathom had purposelyabsented himself, was by the Tyrolese so artfully provoked to play, thathe could not resist the temptation, but engaged at passdice with thatfell adversary, who, in less than an hour, stripped him of a pretty roundsum. Next day, when the young gentleman recovered the use of hisreflection, he was sensibly chagrined at the folly and precipitation ofhis own conduct, an account of which he communicated in confidence to ourhero, with demonstrations of infinite shame and concern. 

Ferdinand, having moralised upon the subject with great sagacity, andsharply inveighed against the Tyrolese, for the unfair advantage he hadtaken, retired to his closet, and wrote the following billet, which wasimmediately sent to his ally:--

"The obligations I owe, and the attachments I feel, to the Count deMelvil, will not suffer me to be an idle spectator of the wrongs offeredto his son, in the dishonourable use, I understand, you made last nightof his unguarded hours. I therefore insist upon your making immediaterestitution of the booty which you so unjustly got; otherwise I expectyou will meet me upon the ramparts, near the bastion de la Port Neuve, to-morrow morning at daybreak, in order to justify, with your sword, thefinesse you have practised upon the friend of FERDINAND DE FATHOM. "

The gamester no sooner received this intimation, than, according to theplan which had been preconcerted betwixt the author and him, he went tothe apartment of Renaldo, and presenting the sum of money which he haddefrauded him of the preceding night, told him, with a stern countenance, that, though it was a just acquisition, he scorned to avail himself ofhis good fortune against any person who entertained the smallest doubt ofhis honour. 

The young Count, surprised at this address, rejected his offer withdisdain, and desired to know the meaning of such an unexpecteddeclaration. Upon which, the other produced Ferdinand's billet, andthreatened, in very high terms, to meet the stripling according to hisinvitation, and chastise him severely for his presumption. Theconsequence of this explanation is obvious. Renaldo, imputing theofficiousness of Fathom to the zeal of his friendship, interposed in thequarrel, which was amicably compromised, not a little to the honour ofour adventurer, who thus obtained an opportunity of displaying hiscourage and integrity, without the least hazard to his person; while, atthe same time, his confederate recommended himself to the esteem of theyoung Count, by his spirited behaviour on this occasion; so that Renaldobeing less shy of his company for the future, the Tyrolese had the faireropportunities to prosecute his designs upon the young gentleman's purse. 

It would be almost superfluous to say, that these were not neglected. The son of Count Melvil was not deficient in point of penetration; buthis whole study was at that time engrossed by the care of his education, and he had sometimes recourse to play as an amusement by which he soughtto unbend the severity of his attention. No wonder then that he fell aprey to an artful gamester, who had been regularly trained to theprofession, and made it the sole study of his life; especially as theHungarian was remarkable for a warmth of temper, which a knight of thepost always knows how to manage for his own advantage. 

In the course of these operations, Fathom was a very usefulcorrespondent. He instructed the Tyrolese in the peculiarities ofRenaldo's disposition, and made him acquainted with the proper seasonsfor profiting by his dexterity. Ferdinand, for example, who, by theauthority derived to him from the injunctions of the old Count, sometimestook upon himself the office of an adviser, cunningly chose to counselthe son at those conjunctures when he knew him least able to bear suchexpostulation. Advice improperly administered generally acts indiametrical opposition to the purpose for which it is supposed to begiven; at least this was the case with the young gentleman, who, inflamedby the reproof of such a tutor, used to obey the dictates of hisresentment in an immediate repetition of that conduct which ouradventurer had taken the liberty to disapprove; and the gamester wasalways at hand to minister unto his indignation. By these means he wasdisencumbered of divers considerable remittances, with which his fathercheerfully supplied him, on the supposition that they were spent withtaste and liberality, under the direction of our adventurer. 

But Ferdinand's views were not confined to the narrow field of thisalliance. He attempted divers enterprises in the world of gallantry, conscious of his own personal qualifications, and never doubting that hecould insinuate himself into the good graces of some married lady aboutcourt, or lay an opulent dowager under contribution. But he met with anobstacle in his endeavours of this kind, which all his art was unable tosurmount. This was no other than the obscurity of his birth, and thewant of a title, without which no person in that country lays claim tothe privileges of a gentleman. Had he foreseen this inconvenience hemight have made shift to obviate the consequences, by obtainingpermission to appear in the character of the Count's kinsman; though, inall probability, such an expedient would not have been extremelyagreeable to the old gentleman, who was very tenacious of the honour ofhis family; nevertheless, his generosity might have been prevailed uponto indulge Fathom with such a pretext, in consideration of the youth'ssupposed attachment, and the obligations for which he deemed himselfindebted to his deceased mother. 

True it is, Ferdinand, upon his first arrival at Vienna, had beenadmitted into fashionable company, on the footing of Renaldo's companion, because nobody suspected the defect of his pedigree; and even after areport had been circulated to the prejudice of his extraction, by theindustry of a lacquey who attended the young Count, there were notwanting many young people of distinction who still favoured him withtheir countenance and correspondence; but he was no longer invited toprivate families, in which only he could expect to profit by his addressamong the ladies, and had the mortification of finding himself frequentlyexcepted from parties which were expressly calculated for theentertainment of the young Count. Luckily, his spirit was so pliant asto sustain these slights without being much dejected; instead of repiningat the loss of that respect which had been paid to him at first, heendeavoured, with all his might, to preserve the little that stillremained, and resolved to translate into a humbler sphere that gallantrywhich he had no longer opportunities of displaying in the world of rankand fashion. 

CHAPTER TWELVE

HE EFFECTS A LODGMENT IN THE HOUSE OF A RICH JEWELLER. 

In consequence of this determination, he to the uttermost exerted hisgood-humour among the few friends of consequence his fortune had left, and even carried his complaisance so far as to become the humble servantof their pleasures, while he attempted to extend his acquaintance in aninferior path of life, where he thought his talents would shine moreconspicuous than at the assemblies of the great, and conduce moreeffectually to the interest of all his designs. Nor did he find himselfdisappointed in that expectation, sanguine as it was. He soon foundmeans to be introduced to the house of a wealthy bourgeois, where everyindividual was charmed with his easy air and extraordinaryqualifications. He accommodated himself surprisingly to the humours ofthe whole family; smoked tobacco, swallowed wine, and discoursed ofstones with the husband, who was a rich jeweller; sacrificed himself tothe pride and loquacity of the wife; and played upon the violin, and sungalternately, for the amusement of his only daughter, a buxom lass, nearlyof his own age, the fruit of a former marriage. 

It was not long before Ferdinand had reason to congratulate himself onthe footing he had gained in this society. He had expected to find, andin a little time actually discovered, that mutual jealousy and rancourwhich almost always subsist between a daughter and her step-dame, inflamed with all the virulence of female emulation; for the disparity intheir ages served only to render them the more inveterate rivals in thedesire of captivating the other sex. Our adventurer having deliberatedupon the means of converting this animosity to his own advantage, saw nomethod for this purpose so feasible as that of making his approaches tothe hearts of both, by ministering to each in private, food for theirreciprocal envy and malevolence; because he well knew that no road liesso direct and open to a woman's heart as that of gratifying her passionsof vanity and resentment. 

When he had an opportunity of being particular with the mother, heexpressed his concern for having unwittingly incurred the displeasure ofMademoiselle, which, he observed, was obvious in every circumstance ofher behaviour towards him; protesting he was utterly innocent of allintention of offending her; and that he could not account for hisdisgrace any other way, than by supposing she took umbrage at thedirection of his chief regards towards her mother-in-law, which, heowned, was altogether involuntary, being wholly influenced by that lady'ssuperior charms and politeness. 

Such a declaration was perfectly well calculated for the meridian of adame like her, who with all the intoxications of unenlightened pride, andan increased appetite for pleasure, had begun to find herself neglected, and even to believe that her attractions were actually on the wane. Shevery graciously consoled our gallant for the mishap of which hecomplained, representing Wilhelmina (that was the daughter's name) as apert, illiterate, envious baggage, of whose disgust he ought to make noconsideration; then she recounted many instances of her own generosity tothat young lady, with the returns of malice and ingratitude she had made;and, lastly, enumerated all the imperfections of her person, education, and behaviour; that he might see with what justice the gypsy pretended tovie with those who had been distinguished by the approbation and evengallantry of the best people in Vienna. 

Having thus established himself her confidant and gossip, he knew hisnext step of promotion would necessarily be to the degree of her lover;and in that belief resolved to play the same game with MademoiselleWilhelmina, whose complexion was very much akin to that of herstepmother; indeed they resembled each other too much to live upon anyterms of friendship or even decorum. Fathom, in order to enjoy a privateconversation with the young lady, never failed to repeat his visit everyafternoon, till at length he had the pleasure of finding her disengaged, the jeweller being occupied among his workmen, and his wife gone toassist at a lying-in. 

Our adventurer and the daughter had already exchanged their vows, by theexpressive language of the eyes; he had even declared himself in sometender ejaculations which had been softly whispered in her ear, when hecould snatch an opportunity of venting them unperceived; nay, he had upondivers occasions gently squeezed her fair hand, on pretence of tuning herharpsichord, and been favoured with returns of the same cordial pressure;so that, instead of accosting her with the fearful hesitation and reserveof a timid swain, he told her, after the exercise of the doux-yeux, thathe was come to confer with her upon a subject that nearly concerned herpeace; and asked if she had not observed of late an evident abatement offriendship in her mother's behaviour to him, whom she had formerlytreated with such marks of favour and respect. Mademoiselle would notpay so ill a compliment to her own discernment as to say she had notperceived the alteration; which, on the contrary, she owned was extremelypalpable; nor was it difficult to divine the cause of such estrangedlooks. This remark was accompanied with an irresistible glance; shesmiled enchanting, the colour deepened on her cheeks, her breast began toheave, and her whole frame underwent a most agreeable confusion. 

Ferdinand was not a man to let such a favourable conjuncture passunregarded. "Yes, charming Wilhelmina!" exclaimed the politician in anaffected rapture, "the cause is as conspicuous as your attractions. Shehath, in spite of all my circumspection, perceived that passion which itis not in my power to conceal, and in consequence of which I now declaremyself your devoted adorer; or, conscious of your superior excellence, her jealousy hath taken the alarm, and, though stung with conjectureonly, repines at the triumph of your perfections. How far this spirit ofmalignity may be inflamed to my prejudice, I know not. Perhaps, as thisis the first, it may be also the last opportunity I shall have of avowingthe dearest sentiments of my heart to the fair object that inspired them;in a word, I may be for ever excluded from your presence. Excuse me, then, divine creature! from the practice of those unnecessary forms, which I should take pride in observing, were I indulged with the ordinaryprivileges of an honourable lover; and, once for all, accept the homageof an heart overflowing with love and admiration. Yes, adorableWilhelmina! I am dazzled with your supernatural beauty; your otheraccomplishments strike me with wonder and awe. I am enchanted by thegraces of your deportment, ravished with the charms of your conversation;and there is a certain tenderness of benevolence in that endearingaspect, which, I trust, will not fail to melt with sympathy at theemotions of a faithful slave like me. "

So saying, he threw himself upon his knees, and, seizing her plump hand, pressed it to his lips with all the violence of real transport. Thenymph, whose passions nature had filled to the brim, could not hear sucha rhapsody unmoved. Being an utter stranger to addresses of this kind, she understood every word of it in the literal acceptation; she believedimplicitly in the truth of the encomiums he had bestowed, and thought itreasonable he should be rewarded for the justice he had done to herqualifications, which had hitherto been almost altogether overlooked. Inshort, her heart began to thaw, and her face to hang out the flag ofcapitulation; which was no sooner perceived by our hero, than he renewedhis attack with redoubled fervour, pronouncing in a most vehement tone, "Light of my eyes, and empress of my soul! behold me prostrate at yourfeet, waiting with the most pious resignation, for that sentence fromyour lips, on which my future happiness or misery must altogether depend. Not with more reverence does the unhappy bashaw kiss the sultan's letterthat contains his doom, than I will submit to your fatal determination. Speak then, angelic sweetness! for never, ah! never will I rise from thissuppliant posture, until I am encouraged to live and hope. No! if yourefuse to smile upon my passion, here shall I breathe the last sighs of adespairing lover; here shall this faithful sword do the last office toits unfortunate master, and shed the blood of the truest heart that everfelt the cruel pangs of disappointed love. "

The young lady, well-nigh overcome by this effusion, which brought thetears into her eyes, "Enough, enough, " cried she, interrupting him, "sureyou men were created for the ruin of our sex. "--"Ruin!" re-echoed Fathom, "talk not of ruin and Wilhelmina! let these terms be for ever parted, faras the east and west asunder! let ever smiling peace attend her steps, and love and joy still wanton in her train! Ruin, indeed, shall waitupon her enemies, if such there be, and those love-lorn wretches who pinewith anguish under her disdain. Grant me, kind Heaven, a more propitiousboon; direct her genial regards to one whose love is without example, andwhose constancy is unparalleled. Bear witness to my constancy and faith, ye verdant hills, ye fertile plains, ye shady groves, ye purling streams;and if I prove untrue, ah! let me never find a solitary willow or abubbling brook, by help of which I may be enabled to put a period to mywretched life. "

Here this excellent actor began to sob most piteously, and thetender-hearted Wilhelmina, unable longer to withstand his moving tale, with a repetition of the interjection, ah! gently dropped into hisarms. This was the beginning of a correspondence that soon rose to avery interesting pitch; and they forthwith concerted measures forcarrying it on without the knowledge or suspicion of her mother-in-law. Nevertheless, the young lady, vanquished as she was, and unskilled in theways of men, would not all at once yield at discretion; but insisted uponthose terms, without which no woman's reputation can be secured. Ourlover, far from seeking to evade the proposal, assented to it in terms ofuncommon satisfaction, and promised to use his whole industry in findinga priest upon whose discretion they could rely; nay, he certainlyresolved to comply with her request in good earnest, rather than forfeitthe advantages which he foresaw in their union. His good fortune, however, exempted him from the necessity of taking such a step, which atbest must have been disagreeable; for so many difficulties occurred inthe inquiry which was set on foot, and so artfully did Fathom in themeantime manage the influence he had already gained over her heart, that, before her passion could obtain a legal gratification, she surrendered tohis wish, without any other assurance, than his solemn profession ofsincerity and truth, on which she reposed herself with the most implicitconfidence and faith. 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HE IS EXPOSED TO A MOST PERILOUS INCIDENT IN THE COURSE OF HIS INTRIGUEWITH THE DAUGHTER. 

He was rejoiced to find her so easily satisfied in such a momentousconcern, for the principal aim of the intrigue was to make her necessaryto his interested views, and even, if possible, an associate in thefraudulent plans he had projected upon her father; consequently heconsidered this relaxation in her virtue as an happy omen of his futuresuccess. All the obstacles to their mutual enjoyment being thus removed, our adventurer was by his mistress indulged with an assignation in herown chamber, which, though contiguous to that of her stepmother, wasprovided with a door that opened into a common staircase, to which he hadaccess at all hours of the night. 

He did not neglect the rendezvous, but, presenting himself at theappointed time, which was midnight, made the signal they had agreed upon, and was immediately admitted by Wilhelmina, who waited for hire with alover's impatience. Fathom was not deficient in those expressions ofrapture that are current on those occasions; but, on the contrary, becameso loud in the transports of self-congratulation, that his voice reachedthe ears of the vigilant stepmother, who wakening the jeweller from hisfirst nap, gave him to understand that some person was certainly in closeconversation with his daughter; and exhorted him to rise forthwith, andvindicate the honour of his family. 

The German, who was naturally of a phlegmatic habit, and never went tobed without a full dose of the creature, which added to hisconstitutional drowsiness, gave no ear to his wife's intimation, untilshe had repeated it thrice, and used other means to rouse him from thearms of slumber. Meanwhile Fathom and his inamorata overheard herinformation, and our hero would have made his retreat immediately, through the port by which he entered, had not his intention beenoverruled by the remonstrances of the young lady, who observed that thedoor was already fast bolted, and could not possibly be opened withoutcreating a noise that would confirm the suspicion of her parents; andthat over and above this objection he would, in sallying from that door, run the risk of being met by her father, who in all probability wouldpresent himself before it, in order to hinder our hero's escape. Shetherefore conveyed him softly into her closet, where she assured him hemight remain with great tranquillity, in full confidence that she wouldtake such measures as would effectually screen him from detection. 

He was fain to depend upon her assurance, and accordingly ensconcedhimself behind her dressing-table; but he could not help sweating withapprehension, and praying fervently to God for his deliverance, when heheard the jeweller thundering at the door, and calling to his daughterfor admittance. Wilhelmina, who was already undressed, and had purposelyextinguished the light, pretended to be suddenly waked from her sleep, and starting up, exclaimed in a tone of surprise and affright, "Jesu, Maria! what is the matter?"--"Hussy!" replied the German in a terribleaccent, "open the door this instant; there is a man in your bedchamber, and, by the lightning and thunder! I will wash away the stain he has castupon my honour with the schellum's heart's-blood. "

Not at all intimidated by this boisterous threat, she admitted himwithout hesitation, and, with a shrillness of voice peculiar to herself, began to hold forth upon her own innocence and his unjust suspicion, mingling in her harangue sundry oblique hints against her mother-in-law, importing, that some people were so viciously inclined by their ownnatures, that she did not wonder at their doubting the virtue of otherpeople; but that these people despised the insinuations of such people, who ought to be more circumspect in their own conduct, lest theythemselves should suffer reprisals from those people whom they had somaliciously slandered. 

Having uttered these flowers of rhetoric, which were calculated for thehearing of her step-dame, who stood with a light at her husband's back, the young lady assumed an ironical air, and admonished her father tosearch every corner of her apartment. She even affected to assist hisinquiry; with her own hands pulled out a parcel of small drawers, inwhich her trinkets were contained; desired him to look into herneedlecase and thimble, and, seeing his examination fruitless, earnestlyintreated him to rummage her closet also, saying, with a sneer, that, inall probability, the dishonourer would be found in that lurking-place. The manner in which she pretended to ridicule his apprehensions made animpression upon the jeweller, who was very well disposed to retreat intohis own nest, when his wife, with a certain slyness in her countenance, besought him to comply with his daughter's request, and look into thatsame closet, by which means Wilhelmina's virtue would obtain a completetriumph. 

Our adventurer, who overheard the conversation, was immediately seizedwith a palsy of fear. He trembled at every joint, the sweat trickleddown his forehead, his teeth began to chatter, his hair to stand on end;and he, in his heart, bitterly cursed the daughter's petulance, themother's malice, together with his own precipitation, by which he wasinvolved in an adventure so pregnant with danger and disgrace. Indeed, the reader may easily conceive his disorder, when he heard the keyturning in the lock, and the German swearing that he would make him foodfor the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air. 

Fathom had come unprepared with weapons of defence, was naturally aneconomist of his person, and saw himself on the brink of forfeiting notonly the promised harvest of his double intrigue, but also the reputationof a man of honour, upon which all his future hopes depended. His agonywas therefore unspeakable, when the door flew open; and it was not tillafter a considerable pause of recollection, that he perceived the candleextinguished by the motion of the air produced from the German's suddenirruption. This accident, which disconcerted him so much as to put afull stop to his charge, was very favourable to our hero, who, summoningall his presence of mind, crept up into the chimney, while the jewellerstood at the door, waiting for his wife's return with another light; sothat, when the closet was examined, there was nothing found to justifythe report which the stepmother had made; and the father, after havingmade a slight apology to Wilhelmina for his intrusion, retired with hisyoke-fellow into their own chamber. 

The young lady, who little thought that her papa would have taken her ather word, was overwhelmed with confusion and dismay, when she saw himenter the closet; and, had her lover been discovered, would, in allprobability, have been the loudest in his reproach, and, perhaps, haveaccused him of an intention to rob the house; but she was altogetherastonished when she found he had made shift to elude the inquiry of herparents, because she could not conceive the possibility of his escapingby the window, which was in the third storey, at a prodigious distancefrom the ground; and how he should conceal himself in the apartment, wasa mystery which she could by no means unfold. Before her father andmother retired, she lighted her lamp, on pretence of being afraid to bein the dark, after the perturbation of spirits she had undergone; and herroom was no sooner evacuated of such troublesome visitants, than shesecured the doors, and went in quest of her lover. 

Accordingly, every corner of the closet underwent a new search, and shecalled upon his name with a soft voice, which she thought no other personwould overhear. But Ferdinand did not think proper to gratify herimpatience, because he could not judge of the predicament in which hestood by the evidence of all his senses, and would not relinquish hispost, until he should be better certified that the coast was clear. Meanwhile, his Dulcinea, having performed her inquiry to no purpose, imagined there was something preternatural in the circumstance of hisvanishing so unaccountably, and began to cross herself with greatdevotion. She returned to her chamber, fixed the lamp in the fireplace, and, throwing herself upon the bed, gave way to the suggestions of hersuperstition, which were reinforced by the silence that prevailed, andthe gloomy glimmering of the light. She reflected upon the trespass shehad already committed in her heart, and, in the conjectures of her fear, believed that her lover was no other than the devil himself, who hadassumed the appearance of Fathom, in order to tempt and seduce hervirtue. 

While her imagination teemed with those horrible ideas, our adventurer, concluding, from the general stillness, that the jeweller and his wifewere at last happily asleep, ventured to come forth from hishiding-place, and stood before his mistress all begrimed with soot. Wilhelmina, lifting up her eyes, and seeing this sable apparition, whichshe mistook for Satan in propria persona, instantly screamed, and beganto repeat her pater-noster with an audible voice. Upon which Ferdinand, foreseeing that her parents would be again alarmed, would not stay toundeceive her and explain himself, but, unlocking the door with greatexpedition, ran downstairs, and luckily accomplished his escape. Thiswas undoubtedly the wisest measure he could have taken; for he had notperformed one half of his descent toward the street, when the German wasat his daughter's bedside, demanding to know the cause of herexclamation. She then gave him an account of what she had seen, with allthe exaggerations of her own fancy, and, after having weighed thecircumstances of her story, he interpreted the apparition into a thief, who had found means to open the door that communicated with the stair;but, having been scared by Wilhelmina's shriek, had been obliged toretreat before he could execute his purpose. 

Our hero's spirits were so wofully disturbed by this adventure, that, fora whole week, he felt no inclination to visit his inamorata, and was notwithout apprehension that the affair had terminated in an explanationvery little to his advantage. He was, however, delivered from thisdisagreeable suspense, by an accidental meeting with the jewellerhimself, who kindly chid him for his long absence, and entertained him inthe street with an account of the alarm which his family had sustained, by a thief who broke into Wilhelmina's apartment. Glad to find hisapprehension mistaken, he renewed his correspondence with the family, and, in a little time, found reason to console himself for the jeopardyand panic he had undergone. 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

HE IS REDUCED TO A DREADFUL DILEMMA, IN CONSEQUENCE OF AN ASSIGNATIONWITH THE WIFE. 

Nor was his whole care and attention engrossed by the execution of thisscheme upon the daughter. While he managed his concerns in that quarterwith incredible ardour and application, he was not the less indefatigablein the prosecution of his design upon the mother-in-law, which heforwarded with all his art during those opportunities he enjoyed in theabsence of Wilhelmina, who was frequently called away by the domesticduties of the house. The passions of the jeweller's wife were in such astate of exaltation, as exempted our hero from the repulses and fatigueattending a long siege. 

We have already observed how cunningly he catered for the gratificationof her ruling appetite, and have exhibited pregnant proofs of his abilityin gaining upon the human heart; the reader will not therefore besurprised at the rapidity of his conquest over the affections of a ladywhose complexion was perfectly amorous, and whose vanity laid her open toall the attempts of adulation. In a word, matters were quickly broughtto such a mutual understanding, that, one evening, while they amusedthemselves at lansquenet, Fathom conjured her to give him the rendezvousnext day at the house of any third person of her own sex, in whosediscretion she could confide; and, after a few affected scruples on herside, which he well knew how to surmount, she complied with his request, and the circumstances of the appointment were settled accordingly. Afterthis treaty, their satisfaction rose to such a warmth, and theconversation became so reciprocally endearing, that our gallant expressedhis impatience of waiting so long for the accomplishment of his wishes, and, with the most eager transport, begged she would, if possible, curtail the term of his expectation, that his brain might not suffer byhis standing so many tedious hours on the giddy verge of rapture. 

The dame, who was naturally compassionate, sympathised with hiscondition, and, unable to resist his pathetic supplications, gave him tounderstand that his desire could not be granted, without subjecting themboth to some hazard, but that she was disposed to run any risk in behalfof his happiness and peace. After this affectionate preamble, she toldhim that her husband was then engaged in a quarterly meeting of thejewellers, from whence he never failed to return quite overwhelmed withwine, tobacco, and the phlegm of his own constitution; so that he wouldfall fast asleep as soon as his head should touch the pillow, and she beat liberty to entertain the lover without interruption, provided he couldfind means to deceive the jealous vigilance of Wilhelmina, and concealhimself in some corner of the house, unsuspected and unperceived. 

Our lover, remembering his adventure with the daughter, would havewillingly dispensed with this expedient, and began to repent of theeagerness with which he had preferred his solicitation; but, seeing therewas now no opportunity of retracting with honour, he affected to enterheartily into the conversation, and, after much canvassing, it wasdetermined, that, while Wilhelmina was employed in the kitchen, themother should conduct our adventurer to the outer door, where he shouldpay the compliment of parting, so as to be overheard by the young lady;but, in the meantime, glide softly into the jeweller's bedchamber, whichwas a place they imagined least liable to the effects of a daughter'sprying disposition, and conceal himself in a large press or wardrobe, that stood in one corner of the apartment. The scene was immediatelyacted with great success, and our hero cooped up in his cage, where hewaited so long, that his desires began to subside, and his imagination toaggravate the danger of his situation. 

"Suppose, " said he to himself, "this brutal German, instead of beingstupefied with wine, should come home inflamed with brandy, to the use ofwhich he is sometimes addicted, far from feeling any inclination tosleep, he will labour under the most fretful anxiety of watching; everyirascible particle in his disposition will be exasperated; he will beoffended with every object that may present itself to his view; and, ifthere is the least ingredient of jealousy in his temper, it will manifestitself in riot and rage. What if his frenzy should prompt him to searchhis wife's chamber for gallants? this would certainly be the first placeto which he would direct his inquiry; or, granting this suppositionchimerical, I may be seized with an irresistible inclination to cough, before he is oppressed with sleep; he may be waked by the noise I shallmake in disengaging myself from this embarrassed situation; and, finally, I may find it impracticable to retire unseen or unheard, after everythingelse shall have succeeded to my wish. "

These suggestions did not at all contribute to the quiet of ouradventurer, who, having waited three whole hours in the mostuncomfortable suspense, heard the jeweller brought into the room in thatvery condition which his fears had prognosticated. He had, it seems, quarrelled over his cups with another tradesman, and received asalutation on the forehead with a candlestick, which not only left anignominious and painful mark upon his countenance, but even disorderedhis brain to a very dangerous degree of delirium; so that, instead ofallowing himself quietly to be undressed and put to bed by his wife, heanswered all her gentle admonitions and caresses with the mostopprobrious invectives and obstreperous behaviour; and, though he did nottax her with infidelity to his bed, he virulently accused her ofextravagance and want of economy; observed, her expensive way of livingwould bring him to a morsel of bread; and unfortunately recollecting theattempt of the supposed thief, started up from his chair, swearing byG--'s mother that he would forthwith arm himself with a brace of pistols, and search every apartment in the house. "That press, " said he, withgreat vociferation, "may, for aught I know, be the receptacle of someruffian. "

So saying, he approached the ark in which Fathom was embarked, andexclaiming, "Come forth, Satan, " applied his foot to the door of it, withsuch violence as threw him from the centre of gravity, and laid himsprawling on his back. This address made such an impression upon ouradventurer, that he had well-nigh obeyed the summons, and burst from hisconcealment, in a desperate effort to escape, without being recognised bythe intoxicated German; and indeed, had the application been repeated, hein all likelihood would have tried the experiment, for by this time histerrors had waxed too strong to be much longer suppressed. From thishazardous enterprise he was, however, exempted by a lucky accident thathappened to his disturber, whose head chancing to pitch upon the cornerof a chair in his fall, he was immediately lulled into a trance, duringwhich the considerate lady, guessing the disorder of her gallant, anddreading further interruption, very prudently released him from hisconfinement, after she had put out the light, and in the dark conveyedhim to the door, where he was comforted with the promise that she wouldpunctually remember the rendezvous of next day. 

She then invoked the assistance of the servants, who, being waked for thepurpose, lifted up their master, and tumbled him into bed, whileFerdinand hied him home in an universal sweat, blessing himself from anyfuture achievement of that sort in a house where he had been twice insuch imminent danger of life and reputation. Nevertheless, he did notfail to honour the assignation, and avail himself of the disposition hismistress manifested to make him all the recompense in her power for thedisappointment and chagrin which he had undergone. 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

BUT AT LENGTH SUCCEEDS IN HIS ATTEMPT UPON BOTH. 

Having thus gained a complete victory over the affections of these twoladies, he began to convert his good fortune to the purposes of thatprinciple, from which his view was never, no, not for a moment, detached. In other words, he used them as ministers and purveyors to his avariceand fraud. As for the mother-in-law, she was of herself so liberal as toanticipate the wishes of any moderate adventurer, and presented him withsundry valuable jewels, as memorials of her esteem; nor was the daughterbackward in such expressions of regard; she already considered hisinterest as her own, and took frequent opportunities of secreting for hisbenefit certain stray trinkets that she happened to pick up in herexcursions within doors. 

All these gratifications he received with demonstrations of infiniteconstraint and reluctance, and, in the midst of his rapacious extortion, acted so cunningly as to impose himself upon both for a miracle ofdisinterested integrity. Yet, not contented with what he thus couldearn, and despairing of being able to steer the bark of his fortune forany length of time between two such dangerous quicksands, he resolved toprofit by the occasion while it lasted, and strike some considerablestroke at once. A plan was formed in consequence of this determination, and, at an appointment with the mother in the house of their femalefriend, our adventurer appeared with an air of dejection, which he veiledwith a thin cover of forced pleasantry, that his mistress might supposehe endeavoured to conceal some mortal chagrin that preyed upon his heart. 

The stratagem succeeded to his wish. She observed his countenancebetween whiles overcast, took notice of the involuntary sighs he heaved;and, with the most tender expressions of sympathy, conjured him to makeher acquainted with the cause of his affliction. Instead of gratifyingher request immediately, he evaded her questions with a respectfulreserve, implying, that his love would not suffer him to make her apartner in his sorrow; and this delicacy on his part whetted herimpatience and concern to such a degree, that, rather than keep her insuch an agony of doubt and apprehension, he was prevailed upon to tellher, that he had been, the preceding night, engaged with a company of hisfellow-students, where he had made too free with the champagne, so thathis caution forsook him, and he had been decoyed into play by a Tyrolesegamester, who stripped him of all his ready money, and obtained from himan obligation for two hundred florins, which he could not possibly paywithout having recourse to his relation the Count de Melvil, who wouldhave just cause to be incensed at his extravagance. 

This information he concluded, by declaring that, cost what it would, hewas resolved to make a candid confession of the truth, and throw himselfentirely upon the generosity of his patron, who could inflict no otherpunishment than that of discarding him from his favour and protection, --amisfortune which, how grievous soever it might be, he should be able tosustain with fortitude, could he fall upon some method of satisfying theTyrolese, who was very importunate and savage in his demand. His kindmistress no sooner found out the source of his inquietude, than shepromised to dry it up, assuring him that next day, at the same hour, shewould enable him to discharge the debt; so that he might set his heart atease, and recollect that gaiety which was the soul of her enjoyment. 

He expressed the utmost astonishment at this generous proffer, which, however, he declined, with an affected earnestness of refusal, protesting, that he should be extremely mortified, if he thought shelooked upon him as one of those mercenary gallants who could make such asordid use of a lady's affection. "No, madam, " cried our politician in apathetic strain, "whatever happens, I shall never part with that internalconsolation, that conscious honour never fails to yield in the deepestscenes of solitary distress. The attachment I have the honour to professfor your amiable person, is not founded on such inglorious motives, butis the genuine result of that generous passion which none but thenoble-minded feel, and the only circumstance of this misfortune that Idread to encounter, is the necessity of withdrawing myself for ever fromthe presence of her whose genial smiles could animate my soul against allthe persecution of adverse fortune. "

This declamation, accompanied with a profound sigh, served only toinflame her desire of extricating him from the difficulty in which he wasinvolved. She exhausted all her eloquence in attempting to persuade himthat his refusal was an outrage against her affection. He pretended torefute her arguments, and remained unshaken by all the power of hersolicitations, until she had recourse to the most passionateremonstrances of love, and fell at his feet in the posture of a forlornshepherdess. What he refused to her reason, he granted to her tears, because his heart was melted by her affliction, and next day condescendedto accept of her money, out of pure regard to her happiness and peace. 

Encouraged by the success of this achievement, he resolved to practisethe same experiment upon Wilhelmina, in hope of extracting an equal shareof profit from her simplicity and attachment, and, at their very nextnocturnal rendezvous in her chamber, reacted the farce already rehearsed, with a small variation, which he thought necessary to stimulate the younglady in his behalf. He rightly concluded, that she was by no meansmistress of such a considerable sum as he had already extorted from hermother, and therefore thought proper to represent himself in the mosturgent predicament, that her apprehension, on his account, might be soalarmed as to engage her in some enterprise for his advantage, whichotherwise she would never have dreamed of undertaking. With this view, after having described his own calamitous situation, in consequence ofher pressing entreaties, which he affected to evade, he gave her tounderstand, that there was no person upon earth to whom he would haverecourse in this emergency; for which reason he was determined to ridhimself of all his cares at once, upon the friendly point of his ownfaithful sword. 

Such a dreadful resolution could not fail to operate upon the tenderpassions of his Dulcinea; she was instantly seized with an agony of fearand distraction. Her grief manifested itself in a flood of tears, whileshe hung round his neck, conjuring him in the most melting terms, bytheir mutual love, in which they had been so happy, to lay aside thatfatal determination, which would infallibly involve her in the same fate;for, she took Heaven to witness, that she would not one moment survivethe knowledge of his death. 

He was not deficient in expressions of reciprocal regard. He extolledher love and tenderness with a most extravagant eulogium, and seemedwrung with mortal anguish at the prospect of parting for ever from hislovely Wilhelmina; but his honour was a stern and rigid creditor, thatcould not be appeased, except with his blood; and all the boon she couldobtain, by dint of the most woful supplication, was a promise to deferthe execution of his baleful purpose for the space of four-and-twentyhours, during which she hoped Heaven would compassionate her sufferings, and inspire her with some contrivance for their mutual relief. Thus heyielded to her fervent request, rather with a view to calm the presenttransports of her sorrow, than with any expectation of seeing himselfredeemed from his fate by her interposition; such at least were hisprofessions when he took his leave, assuring her, that he would not quithis being before he should have devoted a few hours to another interviewwith the dear object of his love. 

Having thus kindled the train, he did not doubt that the mine of hiscraft would take effect, and repaired to his own lodging, in fullpersuasion of seeing his aim accomplished, before the time fixed fortheir last assignation. His prognostic was next morning verified by thearrival of a messenger, who brought to him a small parcel, to which wascemented, with sealing wax, the following epistle:--

"JEWEL OF MY SOUL!--Scarce had you, last night, quitted my disconsolatearms, when I happily recollected that there was in my possession a goldchain, of value more than sufficient to answer the exigence of yourpresent occasions. It was pledged to my grandfather for two hundredcrowns by a knight of Malta, who soon after perished in a sea engagementwith the enemies of our faith, so that it became the property of ourhouse, and was bequeathed to me by the old gentleman, as a memorial ofhis particular affection. Upon whom can I more properly bestow it, thanhim who is already master of my heart! Receive it, therefore, from thebearer of this billet, and convert it, without scruple, to that use whichshall be most conducive to your ease and satisfaction; nor seek, from atrue romantic notion of honour, which I know you entertain, to excuseyourself from accepting this testimony of my affection. For I havealready sworn before an image of our blessed Lady, that I will no longerown you as the sovereign of my heart, nor even indulge you with anotherinterview, if you reject this mark of tenderness and concern from yourever faithful WILHELMINA. "

The heart of our adventurer began to bound with joy when he surveyed thecontents of this letter; and his eyes sparkled with transport at sight ofthe chain, which he immediately perceived to be worth twice the sum shehad mentioned. Nevertheless, he would not avail himself, without furtherquestion, of her generosity; but, that same night, repairing to herapartment at the usual hour of meeting, he prostrated himself before her, and counterfeiting extreme agitation of spirit, begged, in the mosturgent terms, not even unaccompanied with tears, that she would take backthe present, which he tendered for her acceptance, and spare him the mostinsufferable mortification of thinking himself exposed to the imputationof being mercenary in his love. Such, he said, was the delicacy of hispassion, that he could not possibly exist under the apprehension ofincurring a censure so unworthy of his sentiments; and he would athousand times sooner undergo the persecution of his rancorous creditor, than bear the thought of being in the smallest consideration lessened inher esteem; nay, so far did he carry his pretensions to punctilio, as toprotest, that, should she refuse to quiet the scruples of his honour onthis score, her unyielding beneficence would serve only to hasten theexecution of his determined purpose, to withdraw himself at once from alife of vanity and misfortune. 

The more pathetically he pleaded for her compliance, the more strenuouslydid she resist his remonstrances. She advanced all the arguments herreason, love, and terror could suggest, reminded him of her oath, fromwhich he could not suppose she would recede, whatever the consequencemight be; and in conclusion vowed to Heaven, with great solemnity anddevotion, that she would not survive the news of his death. Thus thealternative she offered was either to retain the chain and be happy inher affection, or forfeit all title to her love, and die in theconviction of having brought his innocent mistress to an untimely grave. 

His fortitude was not proof against this last consideration. "My savagehonour, " said he, "would enable me to endure the pangs of eternalseparation in the confidence of being endowed with the power of endingthese tortures by the energy of my own hand; but the prospect ofWilhelmina's death, and that too occasioned by my inflexibility, disarmsmy soul of all her resolution, swallows up the dictates of my jealouspride, and fills my bosom with such a gush of tenderness and sorrow, asoverwhelms the whole economy of my purpose! Yes, enchanting creature! Isacrifice my glory to that irresistible reflection; and, rather than knowmyself the cruel instrument of robbing the world of such perfection, consent to retain the fatal testimony of your love. "

So saying, he pocketed the chain, with an air of ineffable mortification, and was rewarded for his compliance with the most endearing caresses ofhis Dulcinea, who, amidst the tumults of her joy, ejaculated a thousandacknowledgments to Heaven for having blessed her with the affection ofsuch a man, whose honour was unrivalled by anything but his love. 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

HIS SUCCESS BEGETS A BLIND SECURITY, BY WHICH HE IS ONCE AGAIN WELL-NIGHENTRAPPED IN HIS DULCINEA'S APARTMENT. 

In this manner did the crafty Fathom turn to account those ingratiatingqualifications he inherited from nature, and maintain, with incredibleassiduity and circumspection, an amorous correspondence with two domesticrivals, who watched the conduct of each other with the most indefatigablevirulence of envious suspicion, until an accident happened, which hadwell-nigh overturned the bark of his policy, and induced him to alter thecourse, that he might not be shipwrecked on the rocks that began tomultiply in the prosecution of his present voyage. 

The jeweller, who, as a German, wanted neither pride nor ostentation, never failed to celebrate the anniversary of his birth by an annual feastgranted to his neighbours and friends; and on these occasions wasaccustomed to wear that chain which, though bequeathed to his daughter, he considered as an ornament appertaining to the family, whereof hehimself was head. Accordingly, when the time of this festival revolved, he, as usual, ordered Wilhelmina to surrender it for the day. Thisinjunction, the reader will perceive, our young lady was in no conditionto obey; she had, however, foreseen the demand, and contrived a scheme ofbehaviour for the occasion, which she forthwith put in execution. 

With an air of uncommon cheerfulness, purposely assumed, she retired toher closet, on pretence of complying with his desire, and, havingemployed a few minutes in rummaging her drawers and disordering hermoveables, uttered a loud shriek, that brought her father instantly intothe apartment, where he found his daughter tossing about her clothes andtrinkets with violent demonstrations of disorder and affright, and heardher, in a lamentable strain, declare that she was robbed of her chain, and for ever undone. This was so far from being an agreeable intimationto the jeweller, that he was struck dumb with astonishment and vexation, and it was not till after a long pause that he pronounced the wordSacrament! with an emphasis denoting the most mortifying surprise. 

Soon as that exclamation escaped from his lips, he flew to the escritoireas if instinctively, and, joining Wilhelmina in her occupation, tumbledits whole contents upon the floor in a trice. 

While he was thus employed, in the most expressive silence, the wife ofhis bosom chanced to pass that way, and seeing them both occupied withsuch violence and trepidation, believed at first that they were certainlyactuated by the spirit of frenzy; but, when she interposed, by asking, with great earnestness, the cause of such transports and distractedbehaviour, and heard her husband reply, with an accent of despair, "Thechain! the chain of my forefathers is no more!" she immediately justifiedhis emotion, by undergoing the same alarm, and, without furtherhesitation, engaged herself in the search, beginning with a song, whichmight be compared to the hymn of battle among the Greeks, or rather moreaptly to that which the Spartan females sung round the altar of Diana, surnamed Orthian; for it was attended with strange gesticulations, and, in the course of utterance, became so loud and shrill, that the guests, who were by this time partly assembled, being confounded at the clamour, rushed towards the place from whence it seemed to proceed, and foundtheir landlord, with his wife and daughter, in the attitudes ofdistraction and despair. 

When they understood the nature of the case, they condoled the family ontheir misfortune, and would have retired, on the supposition that itwould defeat the mirthful intent of their meeting; but the jeweller, mustering up his whole temper and hospitality, entreated them to excusehis disorder, and favour him with their company, which, he observed, wasnow more than ever wanted, to dispel the melancholy ideas inspired by hisloss. Notwithstanding this apology, and the efforts he made in thesequel to entertain his friends with jollity and good-humour, his heartwas so linked to the chain, that he could not detach himself from thethoughts of it, which invaded him at short intervals in such qualms aseffectually spoiled his appetite, and hindered his digestion. 

He revolved within himself the circumstances of his disaster, and, incanvassing all the probable means by which the chain would be stolen, concluded that the deed must have been done by some person in the family, who, in consequence of having access to his daughter's chamber, hadeither found the drawer left open by her carelessness and neglect, orfound means to obtain a false key, by some waxen impression; for thelocks of the escritoire were safe and uninjured. His suspicion beingthus confined within his own house, sometimes pitched upon his workmen, and sometimes upon his wife, who, he thought, was the more likely topractise such finesse, as she considered Wilhelmina in the light of adaughter-in-law, whose interest interfered with her own, and who hadoften harangued to him in private on the folly of leaving this very chainin the young lady's possession. 

The more he considered this subject, he thought he saw the more reason toattribute the damage he had sustained to the machinations of his spouse, who, he did not doubt, was disposed to feather her own nest, at theexpense of him and his heirs, and who, with the same honest intention, had already secreted, for her private use, those inconsiderable jewelswhich of late had at different times been missing. Aroused by thesesentiments, he resolved to retaliate her own schemes, by contriving meansto visit her cabinet in secret, and, if possible, to rob the robber ofthe spoils she had gathered to his prejudice, without coming to anyexplanation, which might end in domestic turmoils and eternal disquiet. 

While the husband exercised his reflection in this manner, his innocentmate did not allow the powers of her imagination to rest in idleness andsloth. Her observations touching the loss of the chain were such as asuspicious woman, biassed by hatred and envy, would naturally make. Toher it seemed highly improbable, that a thing of such value, so carefullydeposited, should vanish without the connivance of its keeper, andwithout much expense of conjecture, divined the true manner in which itwas conveyed. The sole difficulty that occurred in the researches of hersagacity, was to know the gallant who had been favoured with such apledge of Wilhelmina's affection; for, as the reader will easily imagine, she never dreamed of viewing Ferdinand in that odious perspective. Inorder to satisfy her curiosity, discover this happy favourite, and berevenged on her petulant rival, she prevailed upon the jeweller to employa scout, who should watch all night upon the stair, without the knowledgeof any other person in the family, alleging, that in all likelihood, thehousemaid gave private admittance to some lover who was the author of allthe losses they had lately suffered, and that they might possibly detecthim in his nocturnal adventures; and observing that it would be imprudentto intimate their design to Wilhelmina, lest, through the heedlessnessand indiscretion of youth, she might chance to divulge the secret, so asto frustrate their aim. 

A Swiss, in whose honesty the German could confide, being hired for thispurpose, was posted in a dark corner of the staircase, within a few pacesof the door, which he was directed to watch, and actually stood sentinelthree nights, without perceiving the least object of suspicion; but, onthe fourth, the evil stars of our adventurer conducted him to the spot, on his voyage to the apartment of his Dulcinea, with whom he hadpreconcerted the assignation. Having made the signal, which consisted oftwo gentle taps on her door, he was immediately admitted; and the Swissno sooner saw him fairly housed, than he crept softly to the other door, that was left open for the purpose, and gave immediate intimation of whathe had perceived. This intelligence, however, he could not convey sosecretly, but the lovers, who were always vigilant upon these occasions, overheard a sort of commotion in the jeweller's chamber, the cause ofwhich their apprehension was ingenious enough to comprehend. 

We have formerly observed that our adventurer could not make his retreatby the door, without running a very great risk of being detected, and theexpedient of the chimney he had no inclination to repeat; so that hefound himself in a very uncomfortable dilemma, and was utterly abandonedby all his invention and address, when his mistress, in a whisper, desired him to begin a dialogue, aloud, in an apology, importing, that hehad mistaken the door, and that his intention was to visit her father, touching a ring belonging to the young Count Melvil, which she knewFathom had put into his hands, in order to be altered. 

Ferdinand, seizing the hint, availed himself of it without delay, and, unbolting the door, pronounced in an audible voice, "Upon my honour, Mademoiselle, you wrong my intention, if you imagine I came hither withany disrespectful or dishonourable motive. I have business with yourfather, which cannot be delayed till to-morrow, without manifestprejudice to my friend and myself; therefore I took the liberty ofvisiting him at these untimely hours, and it has been my misfortune tomistake the door in the dark. I beg pardon for my involuntary intrusion, and again assure you, that nothing was farther from my thoughts than anydesign to violate that respect which I have always entertained for youand your father's family. "

To this remonstrance, which was distinctly heard by the German and hiswife, who by this time stood listening at the door, the young ladyreplied, in a shrill accent of displeasure, "Sir, I am bound to believethat all your actions are conducted by honour; but you must give me leaveto tell you, that your mistake is a little extraordinary, and your visit, even to my father, at this time of the night, altogether unseasonable, ifnot mysterious. As for the interruption I have suffered in my repose, Iimpute it to my own forgetfulness, in leaving my door unlocked, and blamemyself so severely for the omission, that I shall, to-morrow, put it outof my own power to be guilty of the like for the future, by ordering thepassage to be nailed up; meanwhile, if you would persuade me of yourwell-meaning, you will instantly withdraw, lest my reputation shouldsuffer by your continuance in my apartment. "

"Madam, " answered our hero, "I will not give you an opportunity to repeatthe command, which I shall forthwith obey, after having entreated youonce more to forgive the disturbance I have given. " So saying, he gentlyopened the door, and, at sight of the German and his wife, who, he wellknew, waited for his exit, started back, and gave tokens of confusion, which was partly real and partly affected. The jeweller, fully satisfiedwith Fathom's declaration to his daughter, received him with acomplaisant look, and, in order to alleviate his concern, gave him tounderstand, that he already knew the reason of his being in thatapartment, and desired to be informed of what had procured him the honourto see him at such a juncture. 

"My dear friend, " said our adventurer, pretending to recollect himselfwith difficulty, "I am utterly ashamed and confounded to be discovered inthis situation; but, as you have overheard what passed betweenMademoiselle and me, I know you will do justice to my intention, andforgive my mistake. After begging pardon for having intruded upon yourfamily at these hours, I must now tell you that my cousin, Count Melvil, was some time ago so much misrepresented to his mother by certainmalicious informers, who delight in sowing discord in private families, that she actually believed her son an extravagant spendthrift, who hadnot only consumed his remittances in the most riotous scenes of disorder, but also indulged a pernicious appetite for gaming, to such a degree, that he had lost all his clothes and jewels at play. In consequence ofsuch false information, she expostulated with him in a severe letter, anddesired he would transmit to her that ring which is in your custody, itbeing a family stone, for which she expressed an inestimable value. Theyoung gentleman, in his answer to her reproof, endeavoured to vindicatehimself from the aspersions which had been cast upon his character, and, with regard to the ring, told her it was at present in the hands of ajeweller, in order to be new set according to her own directions, andthat, whenever it should be altered, he would send it home to her by somesafe conveyance. This account the good lady took for an evasion, andupon that supposition has again written to him, in such a provokingstyle, that, although the letter arrived but half an hour ago, he isdetermined to despatch a courier before morning with the mischievousring, for which, in compliance with the impetuosity of his temper, I havetaken the freedom to disturb you at this unseasonable hour. "

The German paid implicit faith to every circumstance of his story, whichindeed could not well be supposed to be invented extempore; the ring wasimmediately restored, and our adventurer took his leave, congratulatinghimself upon his signal deliverance from the snare in which he hadfallen. 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THE STEP-DAME'S SUSPICIONS BEING AWAKENED, SHE LAYS A SNARE FOR OURADVENTURER, FROM WHICH HE IS DELIVERED BY THE INTERPOSITION OF HIS GOODGENIUS. 

Though the husband swallowed the bait without further inquiry, thepenetration of the wife was not so easily deceived. That same dialoguein Wilhelmina's apartment, far from allaying, rather inflamed hersuspicion; because, in the like emergency, she herself had once profitedby the same, or nearly the same contrivance. Without communicating herdoubts to the father, she resolved to double her attention to thedaughter's future conduct, and keep such a strict eye over the behaviourof our gallant, that he should find it very difficult, if not impossible, to elude her observation. For this purpose she took into her pay an oldmaiden, of the right sour disposition, who lived in a house opposite toher own, and directed her to follow the young lady in all her outgoings, whenever she should receive from the window a certain signal, which themother-in-law agreed to make for the occasion. It was not long beforethis scheme succeeded to her wish. The door of communication betwixtWilhelmina's apartment and the staircase being nailed up by thejeweller's express order, our adventurer was altogether deprived of thoseopportunities he had hitherto enjoyed, and was not at all mortified tofind himself so restricted in a correspondence which began to be tiresomeand disagreeable. But the case was far otherwise with his Dulcinea, whose passion, the more it was thwarted, raged with greater violence, like a fire, that, from the attempts that are made to extinguish it, gathers greater force, and flames with double fury. 

Upon the second day of her misfortune, she had written a very tenderbillet, lamenting her unhappiness in being deprived of those meetingswhich constituted the chief joy of her life, and entreating him tocontrive some means of renewing the delicious commerce in an unsuspectedplace. This intimation she proposed to convey privately into the hand ofher lover, during his next visit to the family; but both were so narrowlyeyed by the mother, that she found the execution of her designimpracticable; and next forenoon, on pretence of going to church, repaired to the house of a companion, who, being also her confidant, undertook to deliver the billet with her own hand. 

The she-dragon employed by her mother, in obedience to the sign which wasdisplayed from the window immediately put on her veil, and followedWilhelmina at a distance, until she saw her fairly housed. She would noteven then return from her excursion, but hovered about in sight of thedoor, with a view of making further observations. In less than fiveminutes after the young lady disappeared, the scout perceived her comingout, accompanied by her comrade, from whom she instantly parted, and benther way towards the church in good earnest, while the other steered hercourse in another direction. The duenna, after a moment's suspense andconsideration, divined the true cause of this short visit, and resolvedto watch the motions of the confidant, whom she traced to the academy inwhich our hero lodged, and from which she saw her return, after thesupposed message was delivered. 

Fraught with this intelligence, the rancorous understrapper hied her hometo the jeweller's wife, and made a faithful recital of what she had seen, communicating at the same time her own conjectures on that subject. Heremployer was equally astonished and incensed at this information. Shewas seized with all that frenzy which takes possession of a slightedwoman, when she finds herself supplanted by a detested rival; and, in thefirst transports of her indignation, devoted them as sacrifices to hervengeance. Nor was her surprise so much the effect of his dissimulation, as of his want of taste and discernment. She inveighed against him, notas the most treacherous lover, but as the most abject wretch, in courtingthe smiles of such an awkward dowdy, while he enjoyed the favours of awoman who had numbered princes in the train of her admirers. For thebrilliancy of her attractions, such as they at present shone, sheappealed to the decision of her minister, who consulted her ownsatisfaction and interest, by flattering the other's vanity andresentment; and so unaccountable did the depravity of our hero's judgmentappear to this conceited dame, that she began to believe there was somemistake in the person, and to hope that Wilhelmina's gallant was not inreality her professed admirer, Mr. Fathom, but rather one of hisfellow-lodgers, whose passion he favoured with his mediation andassistance. 

On this notion, which nothing but mere vanity could have inspired, inopposition to so many more weighty presumptions, she took the resolutionof bringing the affair to a fuller explanation, before she would concertany measures to the prejudice of our adventurer, and forthwith despatchedher spy back to his lodgings, to solicit, on the part of Wilhelmina, animmediate answer to the letter he had received. This was an expeditionwith which the old maiden would have willingly dispensed, because it wasfounded upon an uncertainty, which might be attended with troublesomeconsequences; but, rather than be the means of retarding a negotiation soproductive of that sort of mischief which is particularly agreeable toall of her tribe, she undertook to manage and effect the discovery, infull confidence of her own talents and experience. 

With such a fund of self-sufficiency and instigation, she repaired to theacademy on the instant, and inquiring for Mr. Fathom, was introduced tohis apartment, where she found him in the very act of writing a billet tothe jeweller's daughter. The artful agent having asked, with themysterious air of an expert go-between, if he had not lately received amessage from a certain young lady, and, being answered in theaffirmative, gave him to understand, that she herself was a personfavoured with the friendship and confidence of Wilhelmina, whom she hadknown from her cradle, and often dandled on her knee; then, in thegenuine style of a prattling dry nurse, she launched out in encomiums onhis Dulcinea's beauty and sweetness of temper, recounting many simpleoccurrences of her infancy and childhood; and, finally, desiring a morecircumstantial answer to that which she had sent to him by her friendCatherina. In the course of her loquacity she had also, according to herinstructions, hinted at the misfortune of the door; and, on the whole, performed her cue with such dexterity and discretion that our politicianwas actually overreached, and, having finished his epistle, committed itto her care, with many verbal expressions of eternal love and fidelity tohis charming Wilhelmina. 

The messenger, doubly rejoiced at her achievement, which not onlyrecommended her ministry, but also gratified her malice, returned to herprincipal with great exultation, and, delivering the letter, the readerwill easily conceive the transports of that lady when she read thecontents of it in these words:--

"ANGELIC WILHELMINA!--To forget those ecstatic scenes we have enjoyedtogether, or even live without the continuation of that mutual bliss, were to quit all title to perception, and resign every hope of futurehappiness. No! my charmer, while my head retains the least spark ofinvention, and my heart glows with the resolution of a man, ourcorrespondence shall not be cut off by the machinations of an enviousstepmother, who never had attractions to inspire a generous passion; and, now that age and wrinkles have destroyed what little share of beauty sheonce possessed, endeavours, like the fiend in paradise, to blast thosejoys in others, from which she is herself eternally excluded. Doubt not, dear sovereign of my soul! that I will study, with all the eagerness ofdesiring love, how to frustrate her malicious intention, and renew thosetransporting moments, the remembrance of which now warms the breast ofyour ever constant FATHOM. "

Had our hero murdered her father, or left her a disconsolate widow, byeffecting the death of her dear husband, there might have been apossibility of her exerting the Christian virtues of resignation andforgiveness; but such a personal outrage as that contained in thisepistle precluded all hope of pardon, and rendered penitence of nosignification. His atrocious crime being now fully ascertained, thisvirago gave a loose to her resentment, which became so loud andtempestuous, that her informer shuddered at the storm she had raised, andbegan to repent of having communicated the intelligence which seemed tohave such a violent effect upon hex brain. 

She endeavoured, however, to allay the agitation, by flattering her fancywith the prospect of revenge, and gradually soothed her into a state ofdeliberate ire; during which she determined to take ample vengeance onthe delinquent. In the zenith of her rage, she would have had immediaterecourse to poison or steel, had she not been diverted from her mortalpurpose by her counsellor, who represented the danger of engaging in suchviolent measures, and proposed a more secure scheme, in the execution ofwhich she would see the perfidious wretch sufficiently punished, withoutany hazard to her own person or reputation. She advised her to informthe jeweller of Fathom's efforts to seduce her conjugal fidelity, andimpart to him a plan, by which he would have it in his power to detectour adventurer in the very act of practising upon her virtue. 

The lady relished her proposal, and actually resolved to make anassignation with Ferdinand, as usual, and give notice of the appointmentto her husband, that he might personally discover the treachery of hispretended friend, and inflict upon him such chastisement as the German'sbrutal disposition should suggest, when inflamed by that species ofprovocation. Had this project been brought to bear, Ferdinand, in alllikelihood, would have been disqualified from engaging in any futureintrigue; but fate ordained that the design should be defeated, in orderto reserve him for more important occasions. 

Before the circumstances of the plan could be adjusted, it was his goodfortune to meet his Dulcinea in the street, and, in the midst of theirmutual condolence on the interruption they had suffered in theircorrespondence, he assured her, that he would never give his inventionrespite, until he should have verified the protestations contained in theletter he had delivered to her discreet agent. This allusion to a billetshe had never received, did not fail to alarm her fears, and introduce avery mortifying explanation, in which he so accurately described theperson of the messenger, that she forthwith comprehended the plot, andcommunicated to our hero her sentiments on that subject. 

Though he expressed infinite anxiety and chagrin at this misfortune, which could not fail to raise new obstacles to their love, his heart wasa stranger to the uneasiness he affected; and rather pleased with theoccasion, which would furnish him with pretences to withdraw himselfgradually from an intercourse by this time become equally cloying andunprofitable. Being well acquainted with the mother's temperament, heguessed the present situation of her thoughts, and concluding she wouldmake the jeweller a party in her revenge, he resolved from that moment todiscontinue his visits, and cautiously guard against any future interviewwith the lady whom he had rendered so implacable. 

It was well for our adventurer that his good fortune so seasonablyinterposed; for that same day, in the afternoon, he was favoured with abillet from the jeweller's wife, couched in the same tender style she hadformerly used, and importing an earnest desire of seeing him next day atthe wonted rendezvous. Although his penetration was sufficient toperceive the drift of this message, or at least to discern the risk heshould run in complying with her request, yet he was willing to be morefully certified of the truth of his suspicion, and wrote an answer to thebillet, in which he assured her, that he would repair to the place ofappointment with all the punctuality of an impatient lover. Nevertheless, instead of performing this promise, he, in the morning, took post in a public-house opposite to the place of assignation, inorder to reconnoitre the ground, and about noon had the pleasure ofseeing the German, wrapped in a cloak, enter the door of his wife'sshe-friend, though the appointment was fixed at five in the evening. Fathom blessed his good angel for having conducted him clear of thisconspiracy, and kept his station with great tranquillity till the hour ofmeeting, when he beheld his enraged Thalestris take the same route, andenjoyed her disappointment with ineffable satisfaction. 

Thus favoured with a pretext, he took his leave of her, in a letter, giving her to understand, that he was no stranger to the barbarous snareshe had laid for him; and upbraiding her with having made such anungrateful return for all his tenderness and attachment. She was notbackward in conveying a reply to this expostulation, which seemed to havebeen dictated in all the distraction of a proud woman who sees hervengeance baffled, as well as her love disdained. Her letter was nothingbut a succession of reproaches, menaces, and incoherent execrations. Shetaxed him with knavery, insensibility, and dissimulation; imprecated athousand curses upon his head, and threatened not only to persecute hislife with all the arts that hell and malice could inspire, but also towound him in the person of her daughter-in-law, who should be enclosedfor life in a convent, where she should have leisure to repent of thoseloose and disorderly practices which he had taught her to commit, and ofwhich she could not pretend innocence, as they had it in their power toconfront her with the evidence of her lover's own confession. Yet allthis denunciation was qualified with an alternative, by which he wasgiven to understand, that the gates of mercy were still open, and thatpenitence was capable of washing out the deepest stain of guilt. 

Ferdinand read the whole remonstrance with great composure andmoderation, and was content to incur the hazard of her hate, rather thanput her to the trouble of making such an effort of generosity, as wouldinduce her to forgive the heinous offence he had committed; nor did hisapprehension for Wilhelmina in the least influence his behaviour on thisoccasion. So zealous was he for her spiritual concerns, that he wouldhave been glad to hear she had actually taken the veil; but he knew sucha step was not at all agreeable to her disposition, and that no violencewould be offered to her inclinations on that score, unless her stepmothershould communicate to the father that letter of Fathom's which she hadintercepted, and by which the German would be convinced of his daughter'sbacksliding; but this measure, he rightly supposed, the wife would notventure to take, lest the husband, instead of taking her advice touchingthe young lady, should seek to compromise the affair, by offering her inmarriage to her debaucher, a proffer which, if accepted, would overwhelmthe mother with vexation and despair. He therefore chose to trust to theeffects of lenient time, which he hoped would gradually weaken theresentment of this Penthesilea, and dissolve his connexion with the otherparts of the family, from which he longed to be totally detached. 

How well soever he might have succeeded in his attempts to shake off theyoke of the mother, who by her situation in life was restrained fromprosecuting those measures her resentment had planned against hisfortitude and indifference, he would have found greater difficulty thanhe had foreseen, in disengaging himself from the daughter, whoseaffections he had won under the most solemn professions of honour andfidelity, and who, now she was debarred of his company and conversation, and in danger of losing him for ever, had actually taken the resolutionof disclosing the amour to her father, that he might interpose in behalfof her peace and reputation, and secure her happiness by the sanction ofthe church. 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

OUR HERO DEPARTS FROM VIENNA, AND QUITS THE DOMAIN OF VENUS FOR THE ROUGHFIELD OF MARS. 

Luckily for our adventurer, before she adhered to this determination, theyoung Count de Melvil was summoned to Presburg by his father, who desiredto see him, before he should take the field, in consequence of a rupturebetween the Emperor and the French King; and Fathom of course quittedVienna, in order to attend his patron, after he and Renaldo had residedtwo whole years in that capital, where the former had made himselfperfect in all the polite exercises, become master of the French tongue, and learned to speak the Italian with great facility; over and abovethose other accomplishments in which we have represented him as aninimitable original. 

As for the young Count, his exteriors were so much improved by thecompany to which he had access, since his departure from his father'shouse, that his parents were equally surprised and overjoyed at thealteration. All that awkwardness and rusticity, which hung upon hisdeportment, was, like the rough coat of a diamond, polished away; theconnexion and disposition of his limbs seemed to have been adjusted anew;his carriage was become easy, his air perfectly genteel, and hisconversation gay and unrestrained. The merit of this reformation was ina great measure ascribed to the care and example of Mr. Fathom, who wasreceived by the old Count and his lady with marks of singular friendshipand esteem; nor was he overlooked by Mademoiselle, who still remained ina state of celibacy, and seemed to have resigned all hope of altering hercondition; she expressed uncommon satisfaction at the return of her oldfavourite, and readmitted him into the same degree of familiarity withwhich he had been honoured before his departure. 

The joy of Teresa was so excessive at his arrival, that she could scarcesuppress her raptures, so as to conceal them from the notice of thefamily; and our hero, upon this occasion, performed the part of anexquisite actor, in dissembling those transports which his bosom neverknew. So well had this pupil retained the lessons of her instructor, that, in the midst of those fraudulent appropriations, which she stillcontinued to make, she had found means to support her interest andcharacter with Mademoiselle, and even to acquire such influence in thefamily, that no other servant, male or female, could pretend to liveunder the same roof, without paying incessant homage to this artfulwaiting-woman, and yielding the most abject submission to her will. 

The young gentlemen having tarried at Presburg about six weeks, duringwhich a small field equipage was prepared for Renaldo, they repaired tothe camp at Heilbron, under the auspices of Count Melvil, in whoseregiment they carried arms as volunteers, with a view to merit promotionin the service by their own personal behaviour. Our adventurer wouldhave willingly dispensed with this occasion of signalising himself, histalents being much better adapted to another sphere of life;nevertheless, he affected uncommon alacrity at the prospect of gatheringlaurels in the field, and subscribed to his fortune with a good grace;foreseeing, that even in a campaign, a man of his art and ingenuity mightfind means to consult his corporal safety, without any danger to hisreputation. Accordingly, before he had lived full three weeks in camp, the damp situation, and sudden change in his way of life, had such aviolent effect upon his constitution, that he was deprived of the use ofall his limbs, and mourned, without ceasing, his hard fate, by which hefound himself precluded from all opportunity of exerting his diligence, courage, and activity, in the character of a soldier, to which he nowaspired. 

Renaldo, who was actually enamoured of a martial life, and missed nooccasion of distinguishing himself, consoled his companion with greatcordiality, encouraged him with the hope of seeing his constitutionfamiliarised to the inconveniences of a camp, and accommodated him witheverything which he thought would alleviate the pain of his body, as wellas the anxiety of his mind. The old Count, who sincerely sympathisedwith his affliction, would have persuaded him to retire into quarters, where he could be carefully nursed, and provided with everythingnecessary to a person in his condition; but such was his desire of glory, that he resisted his patron's importunities with great constancy, till atlength, seeing the old gentleman obstinately determined to consult hishealth by removing him from the field, he gradually suffered himself torecover the use of his hands, made shift to sit up in his bed, and amusehimself with cards or backgammon, and, notwithstanding the feeblecondition of his legs, ventured to ride out on horseback to visit thelines, though the Count and his son would never yield to hissolicitations so far, as to let him accompany Renaldo in those excursionsand reconnoitring parties, by which a volunteer inures himself to toiland peril, and acquires that knowledge in the operations of war, whichqualifies him for a command in the service. 

Notwithstanding this exemption from all duty, our adventurer managedmatters so as to pass for a youth of infinite mettle, and even renderedhis backwardness and timidity subservient to the support of thatcharacter, by expressing an impatience of lying inactive, and a desire ofsignalising his prowess, which even the disabled condition of his bodycould scarce restrain. He must be a man of very weak nerves andexcessive irresolution, who can live in the midst of actual service, without imbibing some portion of military fortitude: danger becomeshabitual, and loses a great part of its terror; and as fear is oftencaught by contagion, so is courage communicated among the individuals ofan army. The hope of fame, desire of honours and preferment, envy, emulation, and the dread of disgrace, are motives which co-operate insuppressing that aversion to death or mutilation, which nature hathimplanted in the human mind; and therefore it is not to be wondered at, if Fathom, who was naturally chicken-hearted, gained some advantages overhis disposition before the end of the campaign, which happened to beneither perilous nor severe. 

During the winter, while both armies remained in quarters, our adventurerattended his patron to Presburg, and, before the troops were in motion, Renaldo obtained a commission, in consequence of which he went intogarrison at Philipsburg, whither he was followed by our hero, while theold Count's duty called him to the field in a different place. Ferdinandfor some time had no reason to be dissatisfied with this disposition, bywhich he was at once delivered from the fatigues of a campaign, and theinspection of a severe censor, in the person of Count Melvil; and hissatisfaction was still increased by an accidental meeting with theTyrolese who had been his confederate at Vienna, and now chanced to servein garrison on the same footing with himself. These two knights-errantrenewed their former correspondence, and, as all soldiers are addicted togaming, levied contributions upon all those officers who had money tolose, and temerity to play. 

However, they had not long pursued this branch of traffic, when theirsuccess was interrupted by a very serious occurrence, that for thepresent entirely detached the gentlemen in the garrison from suchamusements. The French troops invested Fort Kehl, situated on the Rhine, opposite to Strasburg; and the Imperialists, dreading that the next stormwould fall upon Philipsburg, employed themselves with great diligence toput that important fortress in a proper posture of defence. If thesuspension of play was displeasing to our hero, the expectation of beingbesieged was by no means more agreeable. He knew the excellence of theFrench engineers, the power of their artillery, and the perseverance oftheir general. He felt, by anticipation, the toils of hard duty upon theworks, the horrors of night-alarms, cannonading, bombardment, sallies, and mines blown up; and deliberated with himself whether or not he shouldprivately withdraw, and take refuge among the besiegers; but, when hereflected that such a step, besides the infamy that must attend it, wouldbe like that of running upon Scylla, seeking to avoid Charybdis, as hewould be exposed to more danger and inconvenience in the trenches than hecould possibly undergo in the town, and after all run the risk of beingtaken and treated as a deserter; upon these considerations he resolved tosubmit himself to his destiny, and endeavoured to mitigate the rigour ofhis fate by those arts he had formerly practised with success. Heaccordingly found means to enjoy a very bad state of health during thewhole siege, which lasted about six weeks after the trenches were opened;and then the garrison marched out by capitulation, with all the honoursof war. 

CHAPTER NINETEEN

HE PUTS HIMSELF UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF HIS ASSOCIATE, AND STUMBLES UPONTHE FRENCH CAMP, WHERE HE FINISHES HIS MILITARY CAREER. 

Nothing else of moment was transacted during that campaign; and in thewinter our adventurer, with the young Count, and his friend the Tyrolese, were disposed in quarters of cantonment, where Ferdinand made himselfamends for the chagrin he had undergone, by the exercise of those talentsin which he excelled. Not that he was satisfied with the sphere of lifein which he acted; though he knew himself consummate in the art of play, he was not at all ambitious of a gamester's name; nor did he find himselfdisposed to hazard those discoveries and explanations to which heroes ofthat class are sometimes necessarily exposed. His aim was to dwell amongthe tents of civil life, undisturbed by quarrels and the din of war, andrender mankind subservient to his interest, not by stratagems whichirritate, but by that suppleness of insinuation, which could not fail tosoothe the temper of those on whom he meant to prey. 

He saw that all his expectations of Count Melvil's future favour wereconnected with his choice of a military life; and that his promotion inthe service would, in a great measure, depend upon his personal behaviourin such emergencies as he did not at all wish to encounter. On the otherhand, he confided so much in his own dexterity and address, that he neverdoubted of being able to rear a splendid fortune for himself, provided hecould once obtain a fixed and firm foundation. He had in fancy oftenenjoyed a prospect of England, not only as his native country, to which, like a true citizen, he longed to be united; but also as the land ofpromise, flowing with milk and honey, and abounding with subjects onwhich he knew his talents would be properly exercised. 

These reflections never occurred, without leaving a strong impressionupon the mind of our adventurer, which influenced his deliberations insuch a manner, as at length amounted to a perfect resolution ofwithdrawing himself privately from a service that teemed withdisagreeable events, and of transporting himself into the country of hisancestors, which he considered as the Canaan of all able adventurers. But, previous to his appearance on that stage, he was desirous ofvisiting the metropolis of France, in which he hoped to improve himselfin the knowledge of men and things, and acquire such intelligence aswould qualify him to act a more important part upon the British scene. After having for some time indulged these prospects in secret, hedetermined to accommodate himself with the company and experience of theTyrolese, whom, under the specious title of an associate, he knew hecould convert into a very serviceable tool, in forwarding the executionof his own projects. 

Accordingly, the inclination of this confederate was sounded by distanthints, and being found apt, our hero made him privy to his design ofdecamping without beat of drum; though, at the same time, he begged hisadvice touching the method of their departure, that he might retire withas much delicacy as the nature of such a step would permit. Diversconsultations were held upon this subject, before they adhered to theresolution of making their escape from the army, after it should havetaken the field in the spring; because, in that case, they would havefrequent opportunities of going abroad on foraging parties, and, duringone of these excursions, might retire in such a manner as to persuadetheir companions that they had fallen into the enemy's hands. 

Agreeable to this determination, the camp was no sooner formed in Alsacethan our associates began to make preparations for their march, and hadalready taken all the previous measures for their departure, when anaccident happened, which our hero did not fail to convert to his ownadvantage. This was no other than the desertion of Renaldo's valet, who, in consequence of a gentle chastisement, which he had richly merited, thought proper to disappear, after having plundered his master'sportmanteau, which he had forced open for the purpose. Ferdinand, whowas the first person that discovered the theft, immediately comprehendedthe whole adventure, and, taking it for granted that the delinquent wouldnever return, resolved to finish what the fugitive had imperfectlyperformed. 

Being favoured with the unreserved confidence of the young Count, heinstantly had recourse to his bureau, the locks of which he found meansto burst open, and, examining a private drawer, contrived with great artto conceal Renaldo's jewels and cash, made himself master of the contentswithout hesitation; then cutting open his cloak-bag, and strewing thetent with his linen and clothes, began to raise his voice, and producesuch a clamour as alarmed the whole neighbourhood, and brought a greatmany officers into the tent. 

He on this, as on all other occasions, performed his cue to a miracle, expressing confusion and concern so naturally in his gestures andexclamation, that no man could possibly suspect his sincerity; nay, tosuch a degree of finesse did his cunning amount, that when his friend andpatron entered, in consequence of an intimation he soon received of hisloss, our adventurer exhibited undoubted signs of distraction anddelirium, and, springing upon Renaldo with all the frantic fury of abedlamite, "Villain, " cried he, "restore the effects you have stole fromyour master, or you shall be immediately committed to the care of theprevot. " However mortified M. De Melvil might be at his own misfortune, the condition of his friend seemed to touch him more nearly; heundervalued his own loss as a trifle that could be easily repaired; saideverything which he thought would tend to soothe and compose theagitation of Ferdinand; and finally prevailed upon him to retire to rest. The calamity was wholly attributed to the deserter; and Renaldo, far fromsuspecting the true author, took occasion, from his behaviour on thisemergency, to admire him as a mirror of integrity and attachment; in suchan exquisite manner did he plan all his designs, that almost everyinstance of his fraud furnished matter of triumph to his reputation. 

Having thus profitably exercised his genius, this subtle politicianthought it high time to relinquish his military expectations, andsecuring all his valuable acquisitions about his own person, rode outwith his understrapper, in the midst of fifty dragoons, who went in questof forage. While the troopers were employed in making up their trusses, the two adventurers advanced towards the skirt of a wood, on pretence ofreconnoitring, and the Tyrolese, who undertook to be our hero's guide, directing him to a path which leads towards Strasburg, they suddenlyvanished from the eyes of their companions, who in a few minutes hearingthe report of several pistols, which the confederates purposely fired, conjectured that they had fallen in with a party of French, by whom theywere made prisoners of war. 

The Tyrolese had overrated his own knowledge when he took upon himselfthe charge of conducting our hero; for upon their arrival at a certainplace, where two roads crossed each other, he chanced to follow thatwhich not only frustrated their intention, but even led them directly tothe French camp; so that, in the twilight, they fell in upon one of theoutguards before they were aware of their mistake. 

Whatever confusion and perplexity they might undergo, when they heardthemselves questioned by the sentinel on the advanced post, certain itis, they betrayed no symptoms of fear or disorder; but while Ferdinandendeavoured to recollect himself, his fellow-traveller, with theappearance of admirable intrepidity and presence of mind, told thesoldier that he and his companion were two gentlemen of family, who hadquitted the Austrian army, on account of having sustained some ill-usage, which they had no opportunity of resenting in any other way, and thatthey were come to offer their services to the French general, to whosequarters they desired to be immediately conveyed. 

The sentinel, to whom such an instance of desertion was neither rare, norindeed uncommon, directed them without scruple to the next post, wherethey found a serjeant's party, from which, at their request, they weretransmitted to the officer of the grand guard, and by him next morningintroduced to Count Coigny, who very politely received them as volunteersin the army of France. Though this translation was not at all to ourhero's liking, he was forced to acquiesce in his fate, glad to findhimself, on these terms, in possession of his effects, of which he wouldotherwise have been infallibly rifled. 

This campaign, however, was the most disagreeable period of his wholelife; because the manner in which he had entered into the servicesubjected him to the particular observation and notice of the Frenchofficers; so that he was obliged to be very alert in his duty, and summonall his fortitude to maintain the character he had assumed. Whatrendered his situation still more unpalatable, was the activity of botharmies in the course of this season, during which, over and above sundryfatiguing marches and countermarches, he was personally engaged in theaffair of Halleh, which was very obstinate; where, being in the skirts ofthe detachment, he was actually wounded in the face by the sword of anhussar; but this was, luckily for him, the last time he found himselfunder the necessity of exerting his military prowess, for a cessation ofarms was proclaimed before he was cured of his wound, and peace concludedabout the end of the campaign. 

During his sojourn in the French camp, he assumed the character of a manof family, who being disgusted at some supercilious treatment he had metwith in the German service, and at the same time ambitious of carryingarms under the banners of France, took the opportunity of retreating bystealth from his friends, accompanied only by one with whom he couldintrust his intention. In this capacity he had managed his matters tosuch advantage, that many French officers of rank were very well disposedto contribute their interest in his behalf, had his inclination vergedtowards promotion in the army; but he thought proper to conceal his realdesign, under the specious pretext of longing to see the metropolis ofFrance, that centre of pleasure and politeness, in which he proposed tospend some time for the improvement of his address and understanding. These were motives too laudable to be opposed by his new patrons, some ofwhom furnished him with letters of recommendation to certain noblemen ofthe first rank at the court of Versailles, for which place he and hiscompanion set out from the banks of the Rhine, very well satisfied withthe honourable dismission they had obtained from a life of inconvenience, danger, and alarm. 

CHAPTER TWENTY

HE PREPARES A STRATAGEM BUT FINDS HIMSELF COUNTERMINED--PROCEEDS ON HISJOURNEY, AND IS OVERTAKEN BY A TERRIBLE TEMPEST. 

In the course of this journey, Ferdinand, who was never deficient in hispolitical capacity, held a secret conclave with his own thoughts, notonly touching the plan of his own future conduct, but also concerning hisassociate, of whose fidelity and adherence he began to entertain suchdoubts as discouraged him from the prosecution of that design in whichthe Tyrolese had been at first included; for he had lately observed himpractise the arts of his occupation among the French officers, with suchrapacity and want of caution, as indicated a dangerous temerity oftemper, as well as a furious rage of acquiring, which might be some timeor other satiated upon his own friends. In other words, our adventurerwas afraid that his accomplice would profit by his knowledge of the roadand countries through which they travelled, and, after having made freewith his most valuable effects, in consequence of the familiaritysubsisting between them, leave him some morning without the ceremony of aformal adieu. 

Aroused by this suspicion, he resolved to anticipate the supposedintention of the Tyrolese, by taking his own departure in the same abruptmanner; and this scheme he actually put in execution, upon their arrivalin Bar-le-duc, where it was agreed they should spend a day to repose andrefresh themselves from the fatigue of hard riding. Ferdinand, therefore, taking the advantage of his companion's absence--for theTyrolese had walked abroad to view the town--found means to hire apeasant, who undertook to conduct him through a by-road as far asChalons, and with his guide he accordingly set out on horseback, afterhaving discharged the bill, left a blank paper sealed up in form of aletter, directed to his friend, and secured behind his own saddle a pairof leathern bags, in which his jewels and cash were usually contained. So eager was our hero to leave the Tyrolese at a considerable distancebehind, that he rode all night at a round pace without halting, and nextmorning found himself at a village distant thirteen good leagues from anypart of the route which he and his companion had at first resolved topursue. 

Here, thinking himself safely delivered from the cause of all hisapprehension, he determined to lie incognito for a few days, so as thathe might run no risk of an accidental meeting upon the road with theperson whose company he had forsaken; and accordingly took possession ofan apartment, in which he went to rest, desiring his guide to wake himwhen dinner should be ready. Having enjoyed a very comfortablerefreshment of sleep, with his bags under his pillow, he was summoned, according to his direction, and ate a very hearty meal, with greattranquillity and internal satisfaction. In the afternoon he amusedhimself with happy presages and ideal prospects of his future fortune, and, in the midst of these imaginary banquets, was seized with aninclination of realising his bliss, and regaling his eyesight with thefruits of that success which had hitherto attended his endeavours. Thusinflamed, he opened the repository, and, O reader! what were hisreflections, when, in lieu of Mademoiselle Melvil's ear-rings andnecklace, the German's golden chain, divers jewels of considerable value, the spoils of sundry dupes, and about two hundred ducats in ready money, he found neither more nor less than a parcel of rusty nails, disposed insuch a manner as to resemble in weight and bulk the moveables he hadlost. 

It is not to be supposed our adventurer made this discovery withoutemotion. If the eternal salvation of mankind could have been purchasedfor the tenth part of his treasure, he would have left the whole speciesin a state of reprobation, rather than redeem them at that price, unlesshe had seen in the bargain some evident advantage to his own concerns. One may, therefore, easily conceive with what milkiness of resignation hebore the loss of the whole, and saw himself reduced from such affluenceto the necessity of depending upon about twenty ducats, and some loosesilver, which he carried in his pocket, for his expense upon the road. However bitter this pill might be in swallowing, he so far mastered hismortification, as to digest it with a good grace. His own penetration atonce pointed out the canal through which this misfortune had flowed uponhim; he forthwith placed the calamity to the account of the Tyrolese, andnever doubting that he had retired with the booty across the Rhine, intosome place to which he knew Fathom would not follow his footsteps, heformed the melancholy resolution of pursuing with all despatch hisjourney to Paris, that he might, with all convenient expedition, indemnify himself for the discomfiture he had sustained. 

With regard to his confederate, his conjecture was perfectly right; thatadventurer, though infinitely inferior to our hero in point of genius andinvention, had manifestly the advantage of him in the articles of age andexperience; he was no stranger to Fathom's qualifications, the happyexertion of which he had often seen. He knew him to be an economist ofthe most frugal order, consequently concluded his finances were worthy ofexamination; and, upon the true principles of a sharper, eased him of theencumbrance, taking it for granted, that, in so doing, he only precludedFerdinand from the power of acting the same tragedy upon him, should everopportunity concur with his inclination. He had therefore concerted hismeasures with the dexterity of an experienced conveyancer, and, snatchingthe occasion, while our hero, travel-tainted, lay sunk in the arms ofprofound repose, he ripped up the seams of the leather depository, withdrew the contents, introduced the parcel of nails, which he had madeup for the purpose, and then repaired the breach with great deliberation. 

Had Fathom's good genius prompted him to examine his effects nextmorning, the Tyrolese, in all probability, would have maintained hisacquisition by force of arms; for his personal courage was rather moredetermined than that of our adventurer, and he was conscious of his ownascendency in this particular; but his good fortune prevented suchexplanation. Immediately after dinner, he availed himself of hisknowledge, and, betaking himself to a remote part of the town, set out ina post-chaise for Luneville, while our hero was meditating his ownescape. 

Fathom's conception was sufficient to comprehend the whole of thisadventure, as soon as his chagrin would give his sagacity fair play; norwould he allow his resolution to sink under the trial; on the contrary, he departed from the village that same afternoon, under the auspices ofhis conductor, and found himself benighted in the midst of a forest, farfrom the habitations of men. The darkness of the night, the silence andsolitude of the place, the indistinct images of the trees that appearedon every side, "stretching their extravagant arms athwart the gloom, "conspired, with the dejection of spirits occasioned by his loss, todisturb his fancy, and raise strange phantoms in his imagination. Although he was not naturally superstitious, his mind began to be invadedwith an awful horror, that gradually prevailed over all the consolationsof reason and philosophy; nor was his heart free from the terrors ofassassination. In order to dissipate these disagreeable reveries, he hadrecourse to the conversation of his guide, by whom he was entertainedwith the history of divers travellers who had been robbed and murdered byruffians, whose retreat was in the recesses of that very wood. 

In the midst of this communication, which did not at all tend to theelevation of our hero's spirits, the conductor made an excuse fordropping behind, while our traveller jogged on in expectation of beingjoined again by him in a few minutes. He was, however, disappointed inthat hope; the sound of the other horse's feet by degrees grew more andmore faint, and at last altogether died away. Alarmed at thiscircumstance, Fathom halted in the middle of the road, and listened withthe most fearful attention; but his sense of hearing was saluted withnought but the dismal sighings of the trees, that seemed to foretell anapproaching storm. Accordingly, the heavens contracted a more drearyaspect, the lightning began to gleam, and the thunder to roll, and thetempest, raising its voice to a tremendous roar, descended in a torrentof rain. 

In this emergency, the fortitude of our hero was almost quite overcome. So many concurring circumstances of danger and distress might haveappalled the most undaunted breast; what impression then must they havemade upon the mind of Ferdinand, who was by no means a man to set fear atdefiance! Indeed, he had well-nigh lost the use of his reflection, andwas actually invaded to the skin, before he could recollect himself sofar as to quit the road, and seek for shelter among the thickets thatsurrounded him. Having rode some furlongs into the forest, he took hisstation under a tuft of tall trees, that screened him from the storm, andin that situation called a council within himself, to deliberate upon hisnext excursion. He persuaded himself that his guide had deserted him forthe present, in order to give intelligence of a traveller to some gang ofrobbers with whom he was connected; and that he must of necessity fall aprey to those banditti, unless he should have the good fortune to eludetheir search, and disentangle himself from the mazes of the wood. 

Harrowed with these apprehensions, he resolved to commit himself to themercy of the hurricane, as of two evils the least, and penetratestraightforwards through some devious opening, until he should bedelivered from the forest. For this purpose he turned his horse's head ina line quite contrary to the direction of the high road which he hadleft, on the supposition that the robbers would pursue that track inquest of him, and that they would never dream of his deserting thehighway, to traverse an unknown forest, amidst the darkness of such aboisterous night. After he had continued in this progress through asuccession of groves, and bogs, and thorns, and brakes, by which not onlyhis clothes, but also his skin suffered in a grievous manner, while everynerve quivered with eagerness and dismay, he at length reached an openplain, and pursuing his course, in full hope of arriving at some village, where his life would be safe, he descried a rush-light at a distance, which he looked upon as the star of his good fortune, and riding towardsit at full speed, arrived at the door of a lone cottage, into which hewas admitted by an old woman, who, understanding he was a bewilderedtraveller, received him with great hospitality. 

When he learned from his hostess, that there was not another house withinthree leagues; that she could accommodate him with a tolerable bed, andhis horse with lodging and oats, he thanked Heaven for his good fortune, in stumbling upon this homely habitation, and determined to pass thenight under the protection of the old cottager, who gave him tounderstand, that her husband, who was a faggot-maker, had gone to the nexttown to dispose of his merchandise; and that, in all probability, hewould not return till next morning, on account of the tempestuous night. Ferdinand sounded the beldame with a thousand artful interrogations, andshe answered with such appearance of truth and simplicity, that heconcluded his person was quite secure; and, after having been regaledwith a dish of eggs and bacon, desired she would conduct him into thechamber where she proposed he should take his repose. He was accordinglyushered up by a sort of ladder into an apartment furnished with astanding-bed, and almost half filled with trusses of straw. He seemedextremely well pleased with his lodging, which in reality exceeded hisexpectation; and his kind landlady, cautioning him against letting thecandle approach the combustibles, took her leave, and locked the door onthe outside. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

HE FALLS UPON SCYLLA, SEEKING TO AVOID CHARYBDIS. 

Fathom, whose own principles taught him to be suspicious, and ever uponhis guard against the treachery of his fellow-creatures, could havedispensed with this instance of her care, in confining her guest to herchamber, and began to be seized with strange fancies, when he observedthat there was no bolt on the inside of the door, by which he mightsecure himself from intrusion. In consequence of these suggestions, heproposed to take an accurate survey of every object in the apartment, and, in the course of his inquiry, had the mortification to find the deadbody of a man, still warm, who had been lately stabbed, and concealedbeneath several bundles of straw. 

Such a discovery could not fail to fill the breast of our hero withunspeakable horror; for he concluded that he himself would undergo thesame fate before morning, without the interposition of a miracle in hisfavour. In the first transports of his dread, he ran to the window, witha view to escape by that outlet, and found his flight effectuallyobstructed by divers strong bars of iron. Then his heart began topalpitate, his hair to bristle up, and his knees to totter; his thoughtsteemed with presages of death and destruction; his conscience rose up injudgment against him, and he underwent a severe paroxysm of dismay anddistraction. His spirits were agitated into a state of fermentation thatproduced a species of resolution akin to that which is inspired by brandyor other strong liquors, and, by an impulse that seemed supernatural, hewas immediately hurried into measures for his own preservation. 

What upon a less interesting occasion his imagination durst not propose, he now executed without scruple or remorse. He undressed the corpse thatlay bleeding among the straw, and, conveying it to the bed in his arms, deposited it in the attitude of a person who sleeps at his ease; then heextinguished the light, took possession of the place from whence the bodyhad been removed, and, holding a pistol ready cocked in each hand, waitedfor the sequel with that determined purpose which is often the immediateproduction of despair. About midnight he heard the sound of feetascending the ladder; the door was softly opened; he saw the shadow oftwo men stalking towards the bed, a dark lanthorn being unshrouded, directed their aim to the supposed sleeper, and he that held it thrust aponiard to his heart; the force of the blow made a compression on thechest, and a sort of groan issued from the windpipe of the defunct; thestroke was repeated, without producing a repetition of the note, so thatthe assassins concluded the work was effectually done, and retired forthe present with a design to return and rifle the deceased at theirleisure. 

Never had our hero spent a moment in such agony as he felt during thisoperation; the whole surface of his body was covered with a cold sweat, and his nerves were relaxed with an universal palsy. In short, heremained in a trance that, in all probability, contributed to his safety;for, had he retained the use of his senses, he might have been discoveredby the transports of his fear. The first use he made of his retrievedrecollection, was to perceive that the assassins had left the door openin their retreat; and he would have instantly availed himself of thistheir neglect, by sallying out upon them, at the hazard of his life, hadhe not been restrained by a conversation he overheard in the room below, importing, that the ruffians were going to set out upon anotherexpedition, in hopes of finding more prey. They accordingly departed, after having laid strong injunctions upon the old woman to keep the doorfast locked during their absence; and Ferdinand took his resolutionwithout farther delay. So soon as, by his conjecture, the robbers wereat a sufficient distance from the house, he rose from his lurking-place, moved softly towards the bed, and, rummaging the pockets of the deceased, found a purse well stored with ducats, of which, together with a silverwatch and a diamond ring, he immediately possessed himself withoutscruple; then, descending with great care and circumspection into thelower apartment, stood before the old beldame, before she had the leastintimation of his approach. 

Accustomed as she was to the trade of blood, the hoary hag did not beholdthis apparition without giving signs of infinite terror and astonishment, believing it was no other than the spirit of her second guest, who hadbeen murdered; she fell upon her knees and began to recommend herself tothe protection of the saints, crossing herself with as much devotion asif she had been entitled to the particular care and attention of Heaven. Nor did her anxiety abate, when she was undeceived in this hersupposition, and understood it was no phantom, but the real substance ofthe stranger, who, without staying to upbraid her with the enormity ofher crimes, commanded her, on pain of immediate death, to produce hishorse, to which being conducted, he set her upon the saddle withoutdelay, and, mounting behind, invested her with the management of thereins, swearing, in a most peremptory tone, that the only chance she hadfor her life, was in directing him safely to the next town; and that, sosoon as she should give him the least cause to doubt her fidelity in theperformance of that task, he would on the instant act the part of herexecutioner. 

This declaration had its effect upon the withered Hecate, who, with manysupplications for mercy and forgiveness, promised to guide him in safetyto a certain village at the distance of two leagues, where he might lodgein security, and be provided with a fresh horse, or other convenience, for pursuing his intended route. On these conditions he told her shemight deserve his clemency; and they accordingly took their departuretogether, she being placed astride upon the saddle, holding the bridle inone hand and a switch in the other; and our adventurer sitting on thecrupper, superintending her conduct, and keeping the muzzle of a pistolclose at her ear. In this equipage they travelled across part of thesame wood in which his guide had forsaken him; and it is not to besupposed that he passed his time in the most agreeable reverie, while hefound himself involved in the labyrinth of those shades, which heconsidered as the haunts of robbery and assassination. 

Common fear was a comfortable sensation to what he felt in thisexcursion. The first steps he had taken for his preservation were theeffects of mere instinct, while his faculties were extinguished orsuppressed by despair; but now, as his reflection began to recur, he washaunted by the most intolerable apprehensions. Every whisper of the windthrough the thickets was swelled into the hoarse menaces of murder, theshaking of the boughs was construed into the brandishing of poniards, andevery shadow of a tree became the apparition of a ruffian eager forblood. In short, at each of these occurrences he felt what wasinfinitely more tormenting than the stab of a real dagger; and at everyfresh fillip of his fear, he acted as a remembrancer to his conductress, in a new volley of imprecations, importing, that her life was absolutelyconnected with his opinion of his own safety. 

Human nature could not longer subsist under such complicated terror. Atlast he found himself clear of the forest, and was blessed with thedistant view of an inhabited place. He then began to exercise histhoughts upon a new subject. He debated with himself, whether he shouldmake a parade of his intrepidity and public spirit, by disclosing hisachievement, and surrendering his guide to the penalty of the law; orleave the old hag and her accomplices to the remorse of their ownconsciences, and proceed quietly on his journey to Paris in undisturbedpossession of the prize he had already obtained. This last step hedetermined to take, upon recollecting, that, in the course of hisinformation, the story of the murdered stranger would infallibly attractthe attention of justice, and, in that case, the effects he had borrowedfrom the defunct must be refunded for the benefit of those who had aright to the succession. This was an argument which our adventurer couldnot resist; he foresaw that he should be stripped of his acquisition, which he looked upon as the fair fruits of his valour and sagacity; and, moreover, be detained as an evidence against the robbers, to the manifestdetriment of his affairs. Perhaps too he had motives of conscience, thatdissuaded him from bearing witness against a set of people whoseprinciples did not much differ from his own. 

Influenced by such considerations, he yielded to the first importunity ofthe beldame, whom he dismissed at a very small distance from the village, after he had earnestly exhorted her to quit such an atrocious course oflife, and atone for her past crimes, by sacrificing her associates to thedemands of justice. She did not fail to vow a perfect reformation, andto prostrate herself before him for the favour she had found; then shebetook herself to her habitation, with full purpose of advising herfellow-murderers to repair with all despatch to the village, and impeachour hero, who, wisely distrusting her professions, stayed no longer inthe place than to hire a guide for the next stage, which brought him tothe city of Chalons-sur-Marne. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

HE ARRIVES AT PARIS, AND IS PLEASED WITH HIS RECEPTION. 

He was not so smitten with the delightful situation of this ancient town, but that he abandoned it as soon as he could procure a post-chaise, inwhich he arrived at Paris, without having been exposed to any othertroublesome adventure upon the road. He took lodgings at a certain hotelin the Fauxbourg de St. Germain, which is the general rendezvous of allthe strangers that resort to this capital; and now sincerelycongratulated himself upon his happy escape from his Hungarianconnexions, and from the snares of the banditti, as well as upon thespoils of the dead body, and his arrival at Paris, from whence there wassuch a short conveyance to England, whither he was attracted, by farother motives than that of filial veneration for his native soil. 

He suppressed all his letters of recommendation, which he justlyconcluded would subject him to a tedious course of attendance upon thegreat, and lay him under the necessity of soliciting preferment in thearmy, than which nothing was farther from his inclination; and resolvedto make his appearance in the character of a private gentleman, whichwould supply him with opportunities of examining the different scenes oflife in such a gay metropolis, so as that he should be able to choosethat sphere in which he could move the most effectually to his ownadvantage. He accordingly hired an occasional domestic, and under thedenomination of Count Fathom, which he had retained since his elopementfrom Renaldo, repaired to dinner at an ordinary, to which he was directedas a reputable place, frequented by fashionable strangers of all nations. 

He found this piece of information perfectly just; for he no soonerentered the apartment, than his ears were saluted with a strangeconfusion of sounds, among which he at once distinguished the High andLow Dutch, barbarous French, Italian, and English languages. He wasrejoiced at this occasion of displaying his own qualifications, took hisplace at one of the three long tables, betwixt a Westphalian count and aBolognian marquis, insinuated himself into the conversation with hisusual address, and in less than half an hour, found means to accost anative of each different country in his own mother-tongue. 

Such extensive knowledge did not pass unobserved. A French abbe, in aprovincial dialect, complimented him upon his retaining that purity inpronunciation, which is not to be found in the speech of a Parisian. TheBolognian, mistaking him for a Tuscan, "Sir, " said he, "I presume you arefrom Florence. I hope the illustrious house of Lorrain leaves yougentlemen of that famous city no room to regret the loss of your ownprinces. " The castle of Versailles becoming the subject of conversation, Monsieur le Compte appealed to him, as to a native German, whether it wasnot inferior in point of magnificence to the chateau of Grubenhagen. TheDutch officer, addressing himself to Fathom, drank to the prosperity ofFaderland, and asked if he had not once served in garrison atShenkenschans; and an English knight swore, with great assurance, that hehad frequently rambled with him at midnight among the hundreds of Drury. 

To each person he replied in a polite, though mysterious manner, whichdid not fail to enhance their opinion of his good breeding andimportance; and, long before the dessert appeared, he was by all thecompany supposed to be a personage of great consequence, who for somesubstantial reasons, found it convenient to keep himself incognito. Thisbeing the case, it is not to be doubted that particular civilities werepoured upon him from all quarters. He perceived their sentiments, andencouraged them, by behaving with that sort of complaisance which seemsto be the result of engaging condescension in a character of superiordignity and station. His affability was general but his chief attentionlimited to those gentlemen already mentioned, who chanced to sit nearesthim at table; and he no sooner gave them to understand that he was anutter stranger in Paris, than they unanimously begged to have the honourof making him acquainted with the different curiosities peculiar to thatmetropolis. 

He accepted of their hospitality, accompanied them to a coffee-house inthe afternoon, from whence they repaired to the opera, and afterwardsadjourned to a noted hotel, in order to spend the remaining part of theevening. It was here that our hero secured himself effectually in thefooting he had gained in their good graces. He in a moment saw throughall the characters of the party, and adapted himself to the humour ofeach individual, without descending from that elevation of behaviourwhich he perceived would operate among them in his behalf. With theItalian he discoursed on music, in the style of a connoisseur; and indeedhad a better claim to that title than the generality of those upon whomit is usually conferred; for he understood the art in theory as well asin practice, and would have made no contemptible figure among the bestperformers of the age. 

He harangued upon taste and genius to the abbe, who was a wit and critic, ex officio, or rather ex vestitu for a young pert Frenchman, the verymoment he puts on the petit collet, or little band, looks upon himself asan inspired son of Apollo; and every one of the fraternity thinks itincumbent upon him to assert the divinity of his mission. In a word, theabbes are a set of people that bear a strong analogy to the templars inLondon. Fools of each fabric, sharpers of all sorts, and dunces of everydegree, profess themselves of both orders. The templar is, generallyspeaking, a prig, so is the abbe: both are distinguished by an air ofpetulance and self-conceit, which holds a middle rank betwixt theinsolence of a first-rate buck and the learned pride of a superciliouspedant. The abbe is supposed to be a younger brother in quest ofpreferment in the church--the Temple is considered as a receptacle orseminary for younger sons intended for the bar; but a great number ofeach profession turn aside into other paths of life, long before theyreach these proposed goals. An abbe is often metamorphosed into a footsoldier; a templar sometimes sinks into an attorney's clerk. The galleysof France abound with abbes; and many templars may be found in ourAmerican plantations; not to mention those who have made a public exitnearer home. Yet I would not have it thought that my descriptionincludes every individual of those societies. Some of the greatestscholars, politicians, and wits, that ever Europe produced, have worn thehabit of an abbe; and many of our most noble families in England derivetheir honours from those who have studied law in the Temple. The worthysons of every community shall always be sacred from my censure andridicule; and, while I laugh at the folly of particular members, I canstill honour and revere the institution. 

But let us return from this comparison, which some readers may thinkimpertinent and unseasonable, and observe, that the Westphalian count, Dutch officer, and English knight, were not excepted from the particularregard and attention of our adventurer. He pledged the German in everybumper; flattered the Hollander with compliments upon the industry, wealth, and policy of the Seven United Provinces; but he reserved hischief battery for his own countryman, on the supposition that he was, inall respects, the best adapted for the purposes of a needy gamester. Him, therefore, he cultivated with extraordinary care and singularobservance; for he soon perceived him to be a humourist, and, from thatcircumstance, derived an happy presage of his own success. The baronet'sdisposition seemed to be cast in the true English mould. He was sour, silent, and contemptuous; his very looks indicated a consciousness ofsuperior wealth; and he never opened his mouth, except to make some dry, sarcastic, national reflection. Nor was his behaviour free from that airof suspicion which a man puts on when he believes himself in a crowd ofpick-pockets, whom his caution and vigilance set at defiance. In a word, though his tongue was silent on the subject, his whole demeanour wascontinually saying, "You are all a pack of poor lousy rascals, who have adesign upon my purse. 'Tis true, I could buy your whole generation, butI won't be bubbled, d'ye see; I am aware of your flattery, and upon myguard against all your knavish pranks; and I come into your company formy own amusement only. "

Fathom having reconnoitred this peculiarity of temper, instead oftreating him with that assiduous complaisance, which he received from theother gentlemen of the party, kept aloof from him in the conversation, with a remarkable shyness of distant civility, and seldom took notice ofwhat he said, except with a view to contradict him, or retort some of hissatirical observations. This he conceived to be the best method ofacquiring his good opinion; because the Englishman would naturallyconclude he was a person who could have no sinister views upon hisfortune, else he would have chosen quite a different manner ofdeportment. Accordingly, the knight seemed to bite at the hook. Helistened to Ferdinand with uncommon regard; he was even heard to commendhis remarks, and at length drank to their better acquaintance. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

ACQUITS HIMSELF WITH ADDRESS IN A NOCTURNAL RIOT. 

The Italian and the abbe were the first who began to grow whimsical underthe influence of the burgundy; and, in the heat of their elevation, proposed that the company should amuse themselves during the remainingpart of the night, at the house of an obliging dame, who maintained atroop of fair nymphs for the accommodation of the other sex. Theproposal was approved by all, except the Hollander, whose economy thewine had not as yet invaded; and, while he retreated soberly to his ownlodgings, the rest of the society adjourned in two coaches to the templeof love, where they were received by the venerable priestess, a personageturned of seventy, who seemed to exercise the functions of her calling, in despite of the most cruel ravages of time; for age had bent her intothe form of a Turkish bow. Her head was agitated by the palsy, like theleaf of the poplar tree; her hair fell down in scanty parcels, as whiteas the driven snow; her face was not simply wrinkled, but ploughed intoinnumerable furrows; her jaws could not boast of one remaining tooth; oneeye distilled a large quantity of rheum, by virtue of the fiery edge thatsurrounded it; the other was altogether extinguished, and she had losther nose in the course of her ministration. The Delphic sibyl was but atype of this hoary matron, who, by her figure, might have been mistakenfor the consort of Chaos, or mother of Time. Yet there was somethingmeritorious in her appearance, as it denoted her an indefatigableminister to the pleasure of mankind, and as it formed an agreeablecontrast with the beauty and youth of the fair damsels that wantoned inher train. It resembled those discords in music, which, properlydisposed, contribute to the harmony of the whole piece; or those horriblegiants, who, in the world of romance, used to guard the gates of thecastle in which the enchanted damsel was confined. 

This Urganda seemed to be aware of her own importance, and perfectly wellacquainted with the human appetite; for she compelled the whole companyto undergo her embrace. Then a lacquey, in magnificent livery, usheredthem into a superb apartment, where they waited some minutes, withoutbeing favoured with the appearance of the ladies, to the manifestdissatisfaction of the abbe, who, sending for the gouvernante, reprimanded her severely for her want of politesse. The old lady, whowas by no means a pattern of patience and submission, retorted hisreproaches with great emphasis and vivacity. Her eloquence flowedaltogether in the Covent Garden strain; and I question whether thecelebrated Mother Douglas herself could have made such a figure in anextemporaneous altercation. 

After having bestowed upon the abbe the epithets of saucy insignificantpimp, she put him in mind of the good offices which he had received ather hands; how she had supplied him with bed, board, and bedfellow, inhis greatest necessity; sent him abroad with money in his pockets--and, in a word, cherished him in her bosom, when his own mother had abandonedhim to distress. She then reviled him for presuming to affront herbefore strangers, and gave the company to understand, that the youngladies would wait upon them as soon as they could be confessed andreceive absolution from a worthy cordelier, who was now employed inperforming that charitable office. The gentlemen were satisfied withthis remonstrance, which argued the old lady's pious concern for thesouls that were under her care, and our adventurer proposed anaccommodation betwixt her and the abbe, who was prevailed upon to ask herpardon, and received her blessing upon his knees. 

This affair had not been long adjusted, when five damsels were introducedin a very gay dishabille, and our hero was complimented with theprivilege of choosing his Amanda from the whole bevy. When he wasprovided, the others began to pair themselves, and, unhappily, the Germancount chanced to pitch upon the same nymph who had captivated the desiresof the British knight. A dispute immediately ensued; for the Englishmanmade his addresses to the lady, without paying the least regard to thepriority of the other's claim; and she, being pleased with hisattachment, did not scruple to renounce his rival, who swore by thethunder, lightning, and sacrament, that he would not quit his pretensionsfor any prince in Christendom, much less for a little English cavalier, whom he had already honoured too much in condescending to be hiscompanion. 

The knight, provoked at this stately declaration, which was the immediateeffect of anger and ebriety, eyed his antagonist with a most contemptuousaspect, and advised him to avoid such comparisons for the future. "Weall know, " said he, "the importance of a German count; I suppose yourrevenue amounts to three hundred rix-dollars; and you have a chateau thatlooks like the ruins of an English gaol. I will bind myself to lend youa thousand pounds upon a mortgage of your estate, (and a bad bargain I amsure I shall have, ) if I do not, in less than two months, find a yeomanof Kent, who spends more in strong ale than the sum-total of your yearlyincome; and, were the truth known, I believe that lace upon your coat isno better than tinsel, and those fringed ruffles, with fine Hollandsleeves, tacked to a shirt of brown canvas, so that, were you to undressyourself before the lady, you would only expose your own poverty andpride. "

The count was so much enraged at these sarcastic observations, that hisfaculty of speech was overwhelmed by his resentment; though, in order toacquit himself of the Englishman's imputation, he forthwith pulled offhis clothes with such fury, that his brocade waistcoat was tore from topto bottom. The knight, mistaking his meaning, considered this demeanouras a fair challenge, to try which was the better man in the exercise ofboxing; and, on that supposition, began to strip in his turn, when he wasundeceived by Fathom, who put the right interpretation upon the count'sbehaviour, and begged that the affair might be compromised. By this timethe Westphalian recovered the use of his tongue, and with many threatsand imprecations, desired they would take notice how falsely he had beenaspersed, and do him justice in espousing his claim to the damsel inquestion. 

Before the company had time or inclination to interest themselves in thequarrel, his opponent observed that no person who was not a mere German, would ever dream of forcing the inclinations of a pretty girl, whom theaccidents of fortune had subjected to his power; that such compulsion wasequivalent to the most cruel rape that could be committed; and that thelady's aversion was not at all surprising; for, to speak his ownsentiments, were he a woman of pleasure, he would as soon grant favoursto a Westphalian hog, as to the person of his antagonist. The German, enraged at this comparison, was quite abandoned by his patience anddiscretion. He called the knight an English clown, and, swearing hewas the most untoward beast of a whole nation of mules, snatched up oneof the candlesticks, which he launched at him with such force andviolence, that it sung through the air, and, winging its flight into theante-chamber, encountered the skull of his own valet, who with immediateprostration received the message of his master. 

The knight, that he might not be behindhand with the Westphalian in pointof courtesy, returned the compliment with the remaining chandelier, whichalso missed its mark, and, smiting a large mirror that was fixed behindthem, emitted such a crash as one might expect to hear if a mine weresprung beneath a manufacture of glass. Both lights being thusextinguished, a furious combat ensued in the dark; the Italian scamperedoff with infinite agility, and, as he went downstairs, desired thatnobody would interpose, because it was an affair of honour, which couldnot be made up. The ladies consulted their safety in flight; CountFathom slyly retired to one corner of the room; while the abbe, havingupon him the terrors of the commissaire, endeavoured to appease and partthe combatants, and, in the attempt, sustained a random blow upon hisnose, which sent him howling into the other chamber, where, finding hisband besmeared with his own blood, he began to caper about the apartment, in a transport of rage and vexation. 

Meanwhile, the old gentlewoman being alarmed with the noise of thebattle, and apprehensive that it would end in murder, to the danger anddiscredit of herself and family, immediately mustered up her myrmidons, of whom she always retained a formidable band, and, putting herself attheir head, lighted them to the scene of uproar. Ferdinand, who hadhitherto observed a strict neutrality, no sooner perceived them approach, than he leaped in between the disputants, that he might be found actingin the character of a peacemaker; and, indeed, by this time, victoryhad declared for the baronet, who had treated his antagonist with across-buttock, which laid him almost breathless on the floor. The victorwas prevailed upon, by the entreaties of Fathom, to quit the field ofbattle, and adjourn into another room, where, in less than half an hour, he received a billet from the count, defying him to single combat on thefrontiers of Flanders, at an appointed time and place. The challenge wasimmediately accepted by the knight, who, being flushed with conquest, treated his adversary with great contempt. 

But, next day, when the fumes of the burgundy were quite exhaled, and theadventure recurred to his remembrance and sober reflection, he waitedupon our adventurer at his lodgings, and solicited his advice in such amanner, as gave him to understand that he looked upon what had happenedas a drunken brawl, which ought to have no serious consequences. Fathomforeseeing that the affair might be managed for his own interest, professed himself of the baronet's opinion; and, without hesitation, undertook the office of a mediator, assuring his principal, that hishonour should suffer no stain in the course of his negotiation. 

Having received the Englishman's acknowledgments for this instance offriendship, he forthwith set out for the place of the German'shabitation, and understanding he was still asleep, insisted upon hisbeing immediately waked, and told, that a gentleman from the chevalierdesired to see him, upon business of importance which could not bedelayed. Accordingly, his valet-de-chambre, pressed by Fathom'simportunities and remonstrances, ventured to go in and shake the count bythe shoulder; when this furious Teutonian, still agitated by the fever ofthe preceding night, leaped out of bed in a frenzy, and seizing his swordthat lay upon a table, would have severely punished the presumption ofhis servant, had not he been restrained by the entrance of Ferdinand, who, with a peremptory countenance, gave him to understand that the valethad acted at his immediate instigation; and that he was come, as theEnglishman's friend, to concert with him proper measures for keeping theappointment they had made at their last meeting. 

This message effectually calmed the German, who was not a littlemortified to find himself so disagreeably disturbed. He could not helpcursing the impatience of his antagonist, and even hinting that he wouldhave acted more like a gentleman and good Christian, in expressing adesire of seeing the affair accommodated, as he knew himself to be theaggressor, consequently the first offender against the laws of politenessand good-fellowship. Fathom, finding him in a fit temper of mind, tookthe opportunity of assenting to the reasonableness of his observation. He ventured to condemn the impetuosity of the baronet, who, he perceived, was extremely nice and scrupulous in the punctilios of honour; and saidit was a pity that two gentlemen should forfeit each other's friendship, much less expose their lives, for such a frivolous cause. "My dearcount, " cried the Westphalian, "I am charmed to find your sentiments soconformable to my own. In an honourable cause, I despise all danger; mycourage, thank Heaven! has been manifested in many public engagements aswell as in private rencounters; but, to break with my friend, whoseeminent virtues I admire, and even to seek his life, on such a scandalousoccasion, for a little insignificant w---e, who, I suppose, took theadvantage of our intoxication, to foment the quarrel: by Heaven! myconscience cannot digest it. "

Having expressed himself to this purpose, he waited impatiently for thereply of Ferdinand, who, after a pause of deliberation, offered hisservices in the way of mediation; though, he observed, it was a matter ofgreat delicacy, and the event altogether uncertain. "Nevertheless, "added our adventurer, "I will strive to appease the knight, who, I hope, will be induced by my remonstrances to forget the unlucky accident, whichhath so disagreeably interrupted your mutual friendship. " The Germanthanked him for this proof of his regard, which yielded him moresatisfaction on account of the chevalier than of himself. "For, by thetombs of my fathers, " cried he, "I have so little concern for my personalsafety, that, if my honour were interested, I durst oppose myself singlyto the whole ban of the empire; and I am now ready, if the chevalierrequires it, to give him the rendezvous in the forest of Senlis, eitheron horseback or on foot, where this contest may be terminated with thelife of one or both of us. "

Count Fathom, with a view to chastise the Westphalian for thisrhodomontade, told him, with a mortifying air of indifference, that ifthey were both bent upon taking the field, he would save himself thetrouble of interposing farther in the affair; and desired to know thehour at which it would suit him to take the air with the baronet. Theother, not a little embarrassed by this question, said, with a falteringtongue, he should be proud to obey the chevalier's orders; but, at thesame time, owned he should be much better pleased if our hero wouldexecute the pacific proposal he had made. Fathom accordingly promised toexert himself for that purpose, and returned to the knight, with whom heassumed the merit of having tranquillised the rage of an incensedbarbarian, who was now disposed to a reconciliation upon equal terms. The baronet overwhelmed him with caresses and compliments upon hisfriendship and address; the parties met that same forenoon, as if byaccident, in Fathom's apartment, where they embraced each othercordially, exchanged apologies, and renewed their former correspondence. 

Our adventurer thought he had good reason to congratulate himself uponthe part he had acted in this pacification. He was treated by both withsignal marks of particular affection and esteem. The count pressed himto accept, as a token of his attachment, a sword of very curiousworkmanship, which he had received in a present from a certain prince ofthe empire. The knight forced upon his finger a very splendid diamondring, as a testimony of his gratitude and esteem. But there was stillanother person to be appeased, before the peace of the whole companycould be established. This was no other than the abbe, from whom each ofthe reconciled friends received at dinner a billet couched in thesewords:--

"I have the honour to lament the infinite chagrin and mortification thatcompels me to address myself in this manner to a person of your rank andeminence, whom I should do myself the pleasure of waiting upon in person, were I not prevented by the misfortune of my nose, which was last nightmost cruelly disarranged, by a violent contusion I had the honour toreceive, in attempting to compose that unhappy fracas, at the house ofMadame la Maquerelle; and what puts the finishing stroke to my mishap, ismy being rendered incapable of keeping three or four assignations withladies of fashion, by whom I have the honour to be particularly esteemed. The disfiguration of my nose, the pain I have undergone, with thediscomposure of brain which it produced, I could bear as a philosopher;but the disappointment of the ladies, my glory will not permit me tooverlook. And as you know the injury was sustained in your service, Ihave the pleasure to hope you will not refuse to grant such reparation aswill be acceptable to a gentleman, who has the honour to be withinviolable attachment, -- Sir, your most devoted slave, PEPIN CLOTHAIRE CHARLE HENRI LOOUIS BARNABE DE FUMIER. "

This epistle was so equivocal, that the persons to whom it was addresseddid not know whether or not they ought to interpret the contents into achallenge; when our hero observed, that the ambiguity of his expressionsplainly proved there was a door left open for accommodation; and proposedthat they should forthwith visit the writer at his own apartment. Theyaccordingly followed his advice, and found the abbe in his morning gownand slippers, with three huge nightcaps on his head, and a crape hat-bandtied over the middle of his face, by way of bandage to his nose. Hereceived his visitors with the most ridiculous solemnity, being still astranger to the purport of their errand; but soon as the Westphaliandeclared they were come in consequence of his billet, in order to askpardon for the undesigned offence they had given, his features retrievedtheir natural vivacity, and he professed himself perfectly satisfied withtheir polite acknowledgment. Then they condoled him upon the evil plightof his nose, and seeing some marks upon his shirt, asked with seemingconcern, if he had lost any blood in the fray? To this interrogation hereplied, that he had still a sufficient quantity left for the occasionsof his friends; and that he should deem it his greatest glory to expendthe last drop of it in their service. 

Matters being thus amicably adjusted, they prevailed upon him to uneasehis nose, which retained no signs of the outrage he had suffered; and theamusements of the day were concerted. It was in consequence of thisplan, that, after the comedy, they were entertained at the count'slodgings, where quadrille was proposed by the abbe, as the most innocentpastime, and the proposal was immediately embraced by all present, and bynone with more alacrity than by our adventurer, who, without puttingforth a moiety of his skill, went home with twenty louis clear gain. Though, far from believing himself greatly superior to the rest of theparty, in the artifices of play, he justly suspected that they hadconcealed their skill, with a view of stripping him on some otheroccasion; for he could not suppose that persons of their figure andcharacter should be, in reality, such novices as they affected to appear. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

HE OVERLOOKS THE ADVANCES OF HIS FRIENDS, AND SMARTS SEVERELY FOR HISNEGLECT. 

Steeled with this cautious maxim, he guarded himself from their unitedendeavours, in sundry subsequent attacks, by which his first conjecturewas confirmed, and still came off conqueror, by virtue of hisunparalleled finesse and discretion; till at length they seemed todespair of making him their prey, and the count began to drop some hints, importing a desire of seeing him more closely united to the views andinterest of their triumvirate. But Ferdinand, who was altogetherselfish, and quite solitary in his prospects, discouraged all thoseadvances, being resolved to trade upon his own bottom only, and to avoidall such connexions with any person or society whatever; much more, witha set of raw adventurers whose talents he despised. With thesesentiments, he still maintained the dignity and reserve of his firstappearance among them, and rather enhanced than diminished that idea ofimportance which he had inspired at the beginning; because, besides hisother qualifications, they gave him credit for the address with which hekept himself superior to their united designs. 

While he thus enjoyed his pre-eminence, together with the fruits of hissuccess at play, which he managed so discreetly as never to incur thereputation of an adventurer, he one day chanced to be at the ordinary, when the company was surprised by the entrance of such a figure as hadnever appeared before in that place. This was no other than a personhabited in the exact uniform of an English jockey. His leathern cap, cutbob, fustian frock, flannel waistcoat, buff breeches, hunting-boots andwhip, were sufficient of themselves to furnish out a phenomenon for theadmiration of all Paris. But these peculiarities were rendered stillmore conspicuous by the behaviour of the man who owned them. When hecrossed the threshold of the outward door, he produced such a sound fromthe smack of his whip, as equalled the explosion of an ordinary cohorn;and then broke forth into the halloo of a foxhunter, which he utteredwith all its variations, in a strain of vociferation that seemed toastonish and confound the whole assembly, to whom he introduced himselfand his spaniel, by exclaiming, in a tone something less melodious thanthe cry of mackerel or live cod, "By your leave, gentlevolks, I hopethere's no offence, in an honest plain Englishman's coming with money inhis pocket, to taste a bit of your Vrench frigasee and ragooze. "

This declaration was made in such a wild, fantastical manner, that thegreatest part of the company mistook him for some savage monster ormaniac, and consulted their safety by starting up from table, and drawingtheir swords. The Englishman, seeing such a martial apparatus producedagainst him, recoiled two or three steps, saying, "Waunds! a believe thepeople are all bewitched. What, do they take me for a beast of prey? isthere nobody here that knows Sir Stentor Stile, or can speak to me in myown lingo?" He had no sooner pronounced these words, than the baronet, with marks of infinite surprise, ran towards him, crying, "Good Heaven!Sir Stentor, who expected to meet with you in Paris?" Upon which, theother eyeing him very earnestly, "Odds heartlikins!" cried he, "myneighbour, Sir Giles Squirrel, as I am a living soul!" With these wordshe flew upon him like a tiger, kissed him from ear to ear, demolished hisperiwig, and disordered the whole economy of his dress, to the no smallentertainment of the company. 

Having well-nigh stifled his countryman with embraces, and besmearedhimself with pulville from head to foot, he proceeded in this manner, "Mercy upon thee, knight, thou art so transmographied, and bedaubed, andbedizened, that thou mought rob thy own mother without fear ofinformation. Look ye here now, I will be trussed, if the very bitch thatwas brought up in thy own bosom knows thee again. Hey, Sweetlips, herehussy, d--n the tuoad, dos't n't know thy old measter? Ey, ey, thoumay'st smell till Christmas, I'll be bound to be hanged, knight, if thecreature's nose an't foundered by the d----d stinking perfumes you havegot among you. "

These compliments being passed, the two knights sat down by one another, and Sir Stentor being asked by his neighbour, upon what errand he hadcrossed the sea, gave him to understand, that he had come to France, inconsequence of a wager with Squire Snaffle, who had laid a thousandpounds, that he, Sir Stentor, would not travel to Paris by himself, andfor a whole month appear every day at a certain hour in the public walks, without wearing any other dress than that in which he saw him. "Thefellor has got no more stuff in his pate, " continued this politestranger, "than a jackass, to think I could not find my way hither thof Icould not jabber your French lingo. Ecod! the people of this country aresharp enough to find out your meaning, when you want to spend anythingamong them; and, as for the matter of dress, bodikins! for a thousandpound, I would engage to live in the midst of them, and show myselfwithout any clothes at all. Odds heart! a true-born Englishman needs notbe ashamed to show his face, nor his backside neither, with the bestFrenchman that ever trod the ground. Thof we Englishmen don't beplaisterour doublets with gold and silver, I believe as how we have our pocketsbetter lined than most of our neighbours; and for all my bit of a fustianfrock, that cost me in all but forty shillings, I believe, between youand me, knight, I have more dust in my fob, than all those powderedsparks put together. But the worst of the matter is this; here is nosolid belly-timber in this country. One can't have a slice of delicatesirloin, or nice buttock of beef, for love nor money. A pize upon them!I could get no eatables upon the ruoad, but what they called bully, whichlooks like the flesh of Pharaoh's lean kine stewed into rags and tatters;and then their peajohn, peajohn, rabbet them! One would think every oldwoman of this kingdom hatched pigeons from her own body. "

It is not to be supposed that such an original sat unobserved. TheFrench and other foreigners, who had never been in England, were struckdumb with amazement at the knight's appearance and deportment; while theEnglish guests were overwhelmed with shame and confusion, and kept a mostwary silence, for fear of being recognised by their countryman. As forour adventurer, he was inwardly transported with joy at sight of thiscuriosity. He considered him as a genuine, rich country booby, of theright English growth, fresh as imported; and his heart throbbed withrapture, when he heard Sir Stentor value himself upon the lining of hispockets. He foresaw, indeed, that the other knight would endeavour toreserve him for his own game; but he was too conscious of his ownaccomplishments to think he should find great difficulty in supersedingthe influence of Sir Giles. 

Meanwhile, the new-comer was by his friend helped to some ragout, whichpleased his palate so well, that he declared he should now make a heartymeal, for the first time since he had crossed the water; and, while hisgood-humour prevailed, he drank to every individual around the table. Ferdinand seized this opportunity of insinuating himself into his favour, by saying in English, he was glad to find there was anything in Francethat was agreeable to Sir Stentor. To this compliment the knight repliedwith an air of surprise: "Waunds! I find here's another countryman ofmine in this here company. Sir, I am proud to see you with all myheart. " So speaking, he thrust out his right hand across the table, andshook our hero by the fist, with such violence of civility, as provedvery grievous to a French marquis, who, in helping himself to soup, wasjostled in such a manner, as to overturn the dividing-spoon in his ownbosom. The Englishman, seeing the mischief he had produced, cried, "Nooffence, I hope, " in a tone of vociferation, which the marquis in allprobability misconstrued; for he began to model his features into a verysublime and peremptory look, when Fathom interpreted the apology, and atthe same time informed Sir Stentor, that although he himself had not thehonour of being an Englishman, he had always entertained a mostparticular veneration for the country, and learned the language inconsequence of that esteem. 

"Blood!" answered the knight, "I think myself the more obliged to you foryour kind opinion, than if you was my countryman in good earnest. Forthere be abundance of we English--no offence, Sir Giles--that seem to beashamed of their own nation, and leave their homes to come and spendtheir fortunes abroad, among a parcel of--you understand me, sir--a wordto the wise, as the saying is. "--Here he was interrupted by an article ofthe second course, that seemed to give him great disturbance. This was aroasted leveret, very strong of the fumet, which happened to be placeddirectly under his nose. His sense of smelling was no sooner encounteredby the effluvia of this delicious fare, than he started up from table, exclaiming, "Odd's my liver! here's a piece of carrion, that I would notoffer to e'er a hound in my kennel; 'tis enough to make any Christianvomit both gut and gall"; and indeed by the wry faces he made while heran to the door, his stomach seemed ready to justify this last assertion. 

The abbe, who concluded, from these symptoms of disgust, that the leveretwas not sufficiently stale, began to exhibit marks of discontent, anddesired that it might be brought to the other end of the table for hisexamination. He accordingly hung over it with the most greedy appetite, feasting his nostrils with the steams of animal putrefaction; and atlength declared that the morceau was passable, though he owned it wouldhave been highly perfect, had it been kept another week. Nevertheless, mouths were not wanting to discuss it, insipid as it was; for in threeminutes there was not a vestige to be seen of that which had offended theorgans of Sir Stentor, who now resumed his place, and did justice to thedessert. But what he seemed to relish better than any other part of theentertainment, was the conversation of our adventurer, whom, afterdinner, he begged to have the honour of treating with a dish of coffee, to the seeming mortification of his brother knight, over which Fathomexulted in his own heart. 

In short, our hero, by his affability and engaging deportment, immediately gained possession of Sir Stentor's good graces, insomuch, that he desired to crack a bottle with him in the evening, and theyrepaired to an auberge, whither his fellow-knight accompanied him, notwithout manifest signs of reluctance. There the stranger gave a loose tojollity; though at first he d---ed the burgundy as a poor thin liquor, that ran through him in a twinkling, and, instead of warming, cooled hisheart and bowels. However, it insensibly seemed to give the lie to hisimputation; for his spirits rose to a more elevated pitch of mirth andgood-fellowship; he sung, or rather roared, the Early Horn, so as toalarm the whole neighbourhood, and began to slabber his companions with amost bear-like affection. Yet whatever haste he made to the goal ofebriety, he was distanced by his brother baronet, who from the beginningof the party had made little other use of his mouth than to receive theglass, and now sunk down upon the floor, in a state of temporaryannihilation. 

He was immediately carried to bed by the direction of Ferdinand, who nowsaw himself in a manner possessor of that mine to which he had made sucheager and artful advances. That he might, therefore, carry on theapproaches in the same cautious manner, he gradually shook off thetrammels of sobriety, gave a loose to that spirit of freedom which goodliquor commonly inspires, and, in the familiarity of drunkenness, ownedhimself head of a noble family of Poland, from which he had been obligedto absent himself on account of an affair of honour, not yet compromised. 

Having made this confession, and laid strong injunctions of secrecy uponSir Stentor, his countenance seemed to acquire from every succeedingglass a new symptom of intoxication. They renewed their embraces, swore eternal friendship from that day, and swallowed fresh bumpers, tillboth being in all appearance quite overpowered, they began to yawn inconcert, and even nod in their chairs. The knight seemed to resent theattacks of slumber, as so many impertinent attempts to interrupt theirentertainment; he cursed his own propensity to sleep, imputing it to thed---ed French climate, and proposed to engage in some pastime that wouldkeep them awake. "Odd's flesh!" cried the Briton, "when I'm at home, Idefy all the devils in hell to fasten my eyelids together, if so be asI'm otherwise inclined. For there's mother and sister Nan, and brotherNumps and I, continue to divert ourselves at all-fours, brag, cribbage, tetotum, husslecap, and chuck-varthing, and, thof I say it, that shouldn't say it, I won't turn my back to e'er a he in England, at any of thesepastimes. And so, Count, if you are so disposed, I am your man, that is, in the way of friendship, at which of these you shall please to pitchupon. "

To this proposal Fathom replied, he was quite ignorant of all the gameshe had mentioned; but, in order to amuse Sir Stentor, he would play withhim at lansquenet, for a trifle, as he had laid it down for a maxim, torisk nothing considerable at play. "Waunds!" answered the knight, "Ihope you don't think I come here in quest of money. Thank God! I have agood landed estate worth five thousand a year, and owe no man ahalfpenny; and I question whether there be many counts in your nation--nooffence, I hope--that can say a bolder word. As for your lambskin net, Iknow nothing of the matter; but I will toss up with you for a guinea, cross or pile, as the saying is; or, if there's such a thing in thiscountry as a box and dice, I love to hear the bones rattle sometimes. "

Fathom found some difficulty in concealing his joy at the mention of thislast amusement, which had been one of his chief studies, and in which hehad made such progress, that he could calculate all the chances with theutmost exactness and certainty. However, he made shift to containhimself within due bounds, and, with seeming indifference, consented topass away an hour at hazard, provided the implements could be procured. Accordingly, the landlord was consulted, and their desire gratified; thedice were produced, and the table resounded with the effects of theirmutual eagerness. Fortune, at first, declared for the Englishman, whowas permitted by our adventurer to win twenty broad pieces; and he was soelated with his success, as to accompany every lucky throw with a loudburst of laughter, and other savage and simple manifestations ofexcessive joy, exclaiming, in a tone something less sweet than thebellowing of a bull, "Now for the main, Count, --odd! here they come--hereare the seven black stars, i'faith. Come along, my yellow boys--odd'sheart! I never liked the face of Lewis before. "

Fathom drew happy presages from these boyish raptures, and, after havingindulged them for some time, began to avail himself of his arithmetic, inconsequence of which the knight was obliged to refund the greatest partof his winning. Then he altered his note, and became as intemperate inhis chagrin, as he had been before immoderate in his mirth. He cursedhimself and his whole generation, d---ed his bad luck, stamped with hisfeet upon the floor, and challenged Ferdinand to double stakes. This wasa very welcome proposal to our hero, who found Sir Stentor just such asubject as he had long desired to encounter with; the more the Englishmanlaid, the more he lost, and Fathom took care to inflame his passions, bycertain well-timed sarcasms upon his want of judgment, till at length hebecame quite outrageous, swore the dice were false, and threw them out atthe window; pulled off his periwig, and committed it to the flames, spokewith the most rancorous contempt of his adversary's skill, insisted uponhis having stripped many a better man, for all he was a Count, andthreatening that, before they parted, he should not only look like aPole, but also smell like a pole-cat. 

This was a spirit which our adventurer industriously kept up, observingthat the English were dupes to all the world; and that, in point ofgenius and address, they were no more than noisy braggadocios. In short, another pair of dice was procured, the stakes were again raised, and, after several vicissitudes, fortune declared so much in favour of theknight, that Fathom lost all the money in his pocket, amounting to apretty considerable sum. By this time he was warmed into uncommoneagerness and impatience; being equally piqued at the success andprovoking exultations of his antagonist, whom he now invited to hislodgings, in order to decide the contest. Sir Stentor complied with thisrequest; the dispute was renewed with various success, till, towardsdaylight, Ferdinand saw this noisy, raw, inexperienced simpleton, carryoff all his ready cash, together with his jewels, and almost everythingthat was valuable about his person; and, to crown the whole, the victorat parting told him with a most intolerable sneer, that as soon as theCount should receive another remittance from Poland, he would give himhis revenge. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

HE BEARS HIS FATE LIKE A PHILOSOPHER; AND CONTRACTS ACQUAINTANCE WITH AVERY REMARKABLE PERSONAGE. 

This was a proper subject for our hero to moralise upon; and accordinglyit did not pass without his remarks; he found himself fairly foiled athis own weapons, reduced to indigence in a foreign land, and, what hechiefly regretted, robbed of all those gay expectations he had indulgedfrom his own supposed excellence in the wiles of fraud; for, upon alittle recollection, he plainly perceived he had fallen a sacrifice tothe confederacy he had refused to join; and did not at all doubt that thedice were loaded for his destruction. But, instead of beating his headagainst the wall, tearing his hair, imprecating vain curses upon himself, or betraying other frantic symptoms of despair, he resolved toaccommodate himself to his fate, and profit by the lesson he had sodearly bought. 

With this intention, he immediately dismissed his valet, quitted hislodgings, retired to an obscure street on the other side of the river, and, covering one eye with a large patch of black silk, presented himselfin quality of a musician to the director of the opera, who, upon hearinga trial of his skill, received him into the band without furtherquestion. While he continued in this situation, he not only improved histaste and execution in music, but likewise found frequent opportunitiesto extend his knowledge of mankind; for, besides the employment heexercised in public, he was often concerned in private concerts that weregiven in the hotels of noblemen; by which means he became more and moreacquainted with the persons, manners, and characters of high life, whichhe contemplated with the most industrious attention, as a spectator, who, being altogether unconcerned in the performance, is at more liberty toobserve and enjoy the particulars of the entertainment. 

It was in one of those assemblies he had the pleasure of seeing hisfriend Sir Stentor, dressed in the most fashionable manner, and behavingwith all the overstrained politesse of a native Frenchman. He wasaccompanied by his brother knight and the abbe; and this triumvirate, even in Fathom's hearing, gave a most ludicrous detail of the finessethey had practised upon the Polish Count, to their entertainer, who wasambassador from a certain court, and made himself extremely merry withthe particulars of the relation. Indeed, they made shift to describesome of the circumstances in such a ridiculous light, that our adventurerhimself, smarting as he was with the disgrace, could not help laughing insecret at the account. He afterwards made it his business to inquireinto the characters of the two British knights, and understood they werenotorious sharpers, who had come abroad for the good of their country, and now hunted in couple among a French pack, that dispersed themselvesthrough the public ordinaries, walks, and spectacles, in order to make aprey of incautious strangers. 

The pride of Ferdinand was piqued at this information; and he was evenanimated with the desire of making reprisals upon this fraternity, fromwhich he ardently longed to retrieve his honour and effects. But theissue of his last adventure had reinforced his caution; and, for thepresent, he found means to suppress the dictates of his avarice andambition; resolving to employ his whole penetration in reconnoitring theground, before he should venture to take the field again. He thereforecontinued to act the part of a one-eyed fiddler, under the name ofFadini, and lived with incredible frugality, that he might save a pursefor his future operations. In this manner had he proceeded for the spaceof ten months, during which he acquired a competent knowledge of the cityof Paris, when his curiosity was attracted by certain peculiarities inthe appearance of a man who lived in one of the upper apartmentsbelonging to the house in which he himself had fixed his habitation. 

This was a tall, thin, meagre figure, with a long black beard, anaquiline nose, a brown complexion, and a most piercing vivacity in hiseyes. He seemed to be about the age of fifty, wore the Persian habit, and there was a remarkable severity in his aspect and demeanour. He andour adventurer had been fellow-lodgers for some time, and, according tothe laudable custom in these days, had hitherto remained as muchestranged to one another, as if they had lived on opposite sides of theglobe; but of late the Persian seemed to regard our hero with particularattention; when they chanced to meet on the staircase, or elsewhere, hebowed to Ferdinand with great solemnity, and complimented him with thepas. He even proceeded, in the course of this communication, to open hismouth, and salute him with a good-morrow, and sometimes made the commonremarks upon the weather. Fathom, who was naturally complaisant, did notdiscourage these advances. On the contrary, he behaved to him with marksof particular respect, and one day desired the favour of his company tobreakfast. 

This invitation the stranger declined with due acknowledgment, onpretence of being out of order; and, in the meantime, our adventurerbethought himself of questioning the landlord concerning his outlandishguest. His curiosity was rather inflamed than satisfied with theinformation he could obtain from this quarter; for all he learned was, that the Persian went by the name of Ali Beker, and that he had lived inthe house for the space of four months, in a most solitary andparsimonious manner, without being visited by one living soul; that, forsome time after his arrival, he had been often heard to groan dismally inthe night, and even to exclaim in an unknown language, as if he hadlaboured under some grievous affliction; and though the first transportsof his grief had subsided, it was easy to perceive he still indulged adeep-rooted melancholy; for the tears were frequently observed to trickledown his beard. The commissaire of the quarter had at first ordered thisOriental to be watched in his outgoings, according to the maxims of theFrench police; but his life was found so regular and inoffensive, thatthis precaution was soon set aside. 

Any man of humane sentiments, from the knowledge of these particulars, would have been prompted to offer his services to the forlorn stranger;but as our hero was devoid of all these infirmities of human nature, itwas necessary that other motives should produce the same effect. Hiscuriosity, therefore, joined with the hopes of converting the confidenceof Ali to his own emolument, effectually impelled him towards hisacquaintance; and, in a little time, they began to relish theconversation of each other. For, as the reader may have alreadyobserved, Fathom possessed all the arts of insinuation, and haddiscernment enough to perceive an air of dignity in the Persian, whichthe humility of his circumstances could not conceal. He was, moreover, aman of good understanding, not without a tincture of letters, perfectlywell bred, though in a ceremonious style, extremely moral in hisdiscourse, and scrupulously nice in his notions of honour. 

Our hero conformed himself in all respects to the other's opinions, andmanaged his discretion so as to pass upon him for a gentleman reduced bymisfortunes to the exercise of an employment which was altogetherunsuitable to his birth and quality. He made earnest and repeatedtenders of his good offices to the stranger, and pressed him to make useof his purse with such cordial perseverance, that, at length, Ali'sreserve was overcome, and he condescended to borrow of him a small sum, which in all probability, saved his life; for he had been driven to theutmost extremity of want before he would accept of this assistance. 

Fathom, having gradually stole into his good graces, began to take noticeof many piteous sighs that escaped him in the moments of theirintercourse, and seemed to denote an heart fraught with woe; and, onpretence of administering consolation and counsel, begged leave to knowthe cause of his distress, observing, that his mind would be disburdenedby such communication, and, perhaps, his grief alleviated by some meanswhich they might jointly concert and execute in his behalf. 

Ali, thus solicited, would often shake his head, with marks of extremesorrow and despondence, and, while the tears gushed from his eyes, declared that his distress was beyond the power of any remedy but death, and that, by making our hero his confidant, he should only extend hisunhappiness to a friend, without feeling the least remission of his owntorture. Notwithstanding these repeated declarations, Ferdinand, who waswell enough acquainted with the mind of man to know that such importunityis seldom or never disagreeable, redoubled his instances, together withhis expressions of sympathy and esteem, until the stranger was prevailedupon to gratify his curiosity and benevolence. Having, therefore, secured the chamber door one night, while all the rest of the family wereasleep, the unfortunate Ali disclosed himself in these words. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

THE HISTORY OF THE NOBLE CASTILIAN. 

I should be ungrateful, as well as unwise, did I longer resist the desireyou express to know the particulars of that destiny which hath driven meto this miserable disguise, and rendered me in all considerations themost wretched of men. I have felt your friendship, am confident of yourhonour, and though my misfortunes are such as can never be repaired, because I am utterly cut off from hope, which is the wretch's lastcomfort, yet I may, by your means, be enabled to bear them with somedegree of fortitude and resignation. 

Know then, my name is not Ali; neither am I of Persian extraction. I hadonce the honour to own myself a Castilian, and was, under the appellationof Don Diego de Zelos, respected as the head of one of the most ancientfamilies of that kingdom. Judge, then, how severe that distress must be, which compels a Spaniard to renounce his country, his honours, and hisname. My youth was not spent in inglorious ease, neither did it wasteunheeded in the rolls of fame. Before I had attained the age ofnineteen, I was twice wounded in battle. I once fortunately recoveredthe standard of the regiment to which I belonged, after it had beenseized by the enemy; and, at another occasion, made shift to save thelife of my colonel, when he lay at the mercy of an enraged barbarian. 

He that thinks I recapitulate these particulars out of ostentation, doeswrong to the unhappy Don Diego de Zelos, who, in having performed theselittle acts of gallantry, thinks he has done nothing, but simply approvedhimself worthy of being called a Castilian. I mean only to do justice tomy own character, and to make you acquainted with one of the mostremarkable incidents of my life. It was my fate, during my thirdcampaign, to command a troop of horse in the regiment of Don GonzalesOrgullo, between whom and my father a family feud had long beenmaintained with great enmity; and that gentleman did not leave me withoutreason to believe he rejoiced at the opportunity of exercising hisresentment upon his adversary's son; for he withheld from me thatcountenance which my fellow-officers enjoyed, and found means to subjectme to divers mortifications, of which I was not at liberty to complain. These I bore in silence for some time, as part of my probation in thecharacter of a soldier; resolved, nevertheless, to employ my interest atcourt for a removal into another corps, and to take some futureopportunity of explaining my sentiments to Don Gonzales upon theinjustice of his behaviour. 

While I animated myself with these sentiments against the discouragementsI underwent, and the hard duty to which I was daily exposed, it was ourfate to be concerned in the battle of Saragossa, where our regiment wasso severely handled by the English infantry, that it was forced to giveground with the loss of one half of its officers and men. Don Gonzales, who acted as brigadier in another wing, being informed of our fate, anddreading the disgrace of his corps, which had never turned back to theenemy, put spurs to his horse, and, riding across the field at fullspeed, rallied our broken squadrons, and led us back to the charge withsuch intrepidity of behaviour, as did not fail to inspire us all withuncommon courage and alacrity. For my own part, I thought myself doublyinterested to distinguish my valour, not only on account of my own glory, but likewise on the supposition, that, as I was acting under the eye ofGonzales, my conduct would be narrowly observed. 

I therefore exerted myself with unusual vigour, and as he began theattack with the remains of my troop, fought close by his side during therest of the engagement. I even acquired his applause in the very heat ofbattle. When his hat was struck off, and his horse fell under him, Iaccommodated and remounted him upon my own, and, having seized for my ownuse another that belonged to a common trooper, attended this sterncommander as before, and seconded him in all his repeated efforts; but itwas impossible to withstand the numbers and impetuosity of the foe, andDon Gonzales having had the mortification to see his regiment cut inpieces, and the greatest part of the army routed, was fain to yield tothe fortune of the day; yet he retired as became a man of honour and aCastilian; that is, he marched off with great deliberation in the rear ofthe Spanish troops, and frequently faced about to check the pursuit ofthe enemy. Indeed, this exercise of his courage had well-nigh cost himhis life; for, in one of those wheelings, he was left almost alone, and asmall party of the Portuguese horse had actually cut off ourcommunication with the retreating forces of Spain. 

In this dilemma, we had no other chance of saving our lives and liberty, than that of opening a passage sword in hand; and this was what Gonzalesinstantly resolved to attempt. We accordingly recommended our souls toGod, and, charging the line abreast of one another, bore down allopposition, and were in a fair way of accomplishing our retreat withoutfurther danger; but the gallant Orgullo, in crossing a ditch, had themisfortune to be thrown from his horse, and was almost the same instantovertaken by one of the Portuguese dragoons, whose sword was alreadysuspended over his head, as he lay half stunned with his fall; when Irode up, discharged a pistol in the ruffian's brain, and, seating mycolonel on his horse, had the good fortune to conduct him to a place ofsafety. 

Here he was provided with such accommodation as his case required; for hehad been wounded in the battle, and dangerously bruised by his fall, and, when all the necessary steps were taken towards his recovery, I desiredto know if he had any further commands for his service, being resolved tojoin the army without delay. I thought proper to communicate thisquestion by message, because he had not spoke one word to me during ourretreat, notwithstanding the good office he had received at my hands; areserve which I attributed to his pride, and resented accordingly. He nosooner understood my intention, than he desired to see me in hisapartment, and, as near as I can remember, spoke to this effect:--

"Were your father Don Alonzo alive, I should now, in consequence of yourbehaviour, banish every suggestion of resentment, and solicit hisfriendship with great sincerity. Yes, Don Diego, your virtue hathtriumphed over that enmity I bore your house, and I upbraid myself withthe ungenerous treatment you have suffered under my command. But it isnot enough for me to withdraw that rigour which it was unjust toexercise, and would be wicked to maintain. I must likewise atone for theinjuries you have sustained, and make some suitable acknowledgment forthat life which I have twice to-day owed to your valour and generosity. Whatever interest I have at court shall be employed in your behalf; and Ihave other designs in your favour, which shall be disclosed in dueseason. Meanwhile, I desire you will still add one obligation to thedebt which I have already incurred, and carry this billet in person to myEstifania, who, from the news of this fatal overthrow must be in despairupon my account. "

So saying, he presented a letter, directed to his lady, which I receivedin a transport of joy, with expressions suitable to the occasion, andimmediately set out for his country house, which happened to be aboutthirty leagues from the spot. This expedition was equally glorious andinteresting; for my thoughts upon the road were engrossed by the hope ofseeing Don Orgullo's daughter and heiress Antonia, who was reported to bea young lady of great beauty, and the most amiable accomplishments. However ridiculous it may seem for a man to conceive a passion for anobject which he hath never beheld, certain it is, my sentiments were somuch prepossessed by the fame of her qualifications, that I must havefallen a victim to her charms, had they been much less powerful than theywere. Notwithstanding the fatigues I had undergone in the field, Iclosed not an eye until I arrived at the gate of Gonzales, beingdetermined to precede the report of the battle, that Madame d'Orgullomight not be alarmed for the life of her husband. 

I declared my errand, and was introduced into a saloon, where I had notwaited above three minutes, when my colonel's lady appeared, and in greatconfusion received the letter, exclaiming, "Heaven grant that DonGonzales be well!" In reading the contents, she underwent a variety ofagitations; but, when she had perused the whole, her countenance regainedits serenity, and, regarding me with an air of ineffable complacency, "Don Diego, " said she, "while I lament the national calamity, in thedefeat of our army, I at the same time feel the most sincere pleasure onseeing you upon this occasion, and, according to the directions of mydear lord, bid you heartily welcome to this house, as his preserver andfriend. I was not unacquainted with your character before this lasttriumph of your virtue, and have often prayed to Heaven for some luckydetermination of that fatal quarrel which raged so long between thefamily of Gonzales and your father's house. My prayers have been heard, the long-wished-for reconciliation is now effected, and I hope nothingwill ever intervene to disturb this happy union. "

To this polite and affectionate declaration, I made such a reply asbecame a young man, whose heart overflowed with joy and benevolence, anddesired to know how soon her answer to my commander would be ready, thatI might gratify his impatience with all possible despatch. After havingthanked me for this fresh proof of my attachment, she begged I wouldretire into a chamber, and repose myself from the uncommon fatigues Imust have undergone; but, finding I persisted in the resolution ofreturning to Don Gonzales, without allowing myself the least benefit ofsleep, she left me engaged in conversation with an uncle of Don Gonzales, who lodged in the house, and gave orders that a collation should beprepared in another apartment, while she retired to her closet, and wrotea letter to her husband. 

In less than an hour from my first arrival, I was introduced into a mostelegant dining-room, where a magnificent entertainment was served up, andwhere we were joined by Donna Estifania, and her beautiful daughter thefair Antonia, who, advancing with the most amiable sweetness, thanked mein very warm expressions of acknowledgment, for the generosity of myconduct towards her father. I had been ravished with her firstappearance, which far exceeded my imagination, and my faculties were sodisordered by this address, that I answered her compliment with the mostawkward confusion. But this disorder did not turn to my prejudice in theopinion of that lovely creature, who has often told me in the sequel, that she gave herself credit for that perplexity in my behaviour, andthat I never appeared more worthy of her regard and affection than atthat juncture, when my dress was discomposed, and my whole persondisfigured by the toils and duty of the preceding day; for this verydishabille presented itself to her reflection as the immediate effect ofthat very merit by which I was entitled to her esteem. 

Wretch that I am! to survive the loss of such an excellent woman, endeared to my remembrance by the most tender offices of wedlock, happilyexercised for the space of five-and-twenty years! Forgive these tears;they are not the drops of weakness, but remorse. Not to trouble you withidle particulars, suffice it is to say, I was favoured with such marks ofdistinction by Madame d'Orgullo, that she thought it incumbent upon herto let me know she had not overacted her hospitality, and, while we satat table, accosted me in these words: "You will not be surprised, DonDiego, at my expressions of regard, which I own are unusual from aSpanish lady to a young cavalier like you, when I communicate thecontents of this letter from Don Gonzales. " So saying, she put thebillet into my hand, and I read these words, or words to this effect:--

"AMIABLE ESTIFANIA, --You will understand that I am as well as a personcan possibly be who hath this day lived to see the army of his kingdefeated. If you would know the particulars of this unfortunate action, your curiosity will be gratified by the bearer, Don Diego de Zelos, towhose virtue and bravery I am twice indebted for my life. I thereforedesire you will receive him with that respect and gratitude which youshall think due for such an obligation; and, in entertaining him, dismissthat reserve which often disgraces the Spanish hospitality. In a word, let your own virtue and beneficence conduct you upon this occasion, andlet my Antonia's endeavours be joined with your own in doing honour tothe preserver of her father! Adieu. "

Such a testimonial could not fail of being very agreeable to a youngsoldier, who by this time had begun to indulge the transporting hope ofbeing happy in the arms of the adorable Antonia. I professed myselfextremely happy in having met with an opportunity of acquiring such adegree of my colonel's esteem, entertained them with a detail of hispersonal prowess in the battle, and answered all their questions withthat moderation which every man ought to preserve in speaking of his ownbehaviour. Our repast being ended, I took my leave of the ladies, and atparting received a letter from Donna Estifania to her husband, togetherwith a ring of great value, which she begged I would accept, as a tokenof her esteem. Thus loaded with honour and caresses, I set out on myreturn for the quarters of Don Gonzales, who could scarce credit his owneyes when I delivered his lady's billet; for he thought it impossible toperform such a journey in so short a time. 

When he had glanced over the paper, "Don Diego, " said he, "by your shortstay one would imagine you had met with indifferent reception at myhouse. I hope Estifania has not been deficient in her duty?" I answeredthis question, by assuring him my entertainment had been so agreeable inall respects, that nothing but my duty to him could have induced me togive it up so soon. He then turned the conversation upon Antonia, andhinted his intention of giving her in marriage to a young cavalier, forwhom he had a particular friendship. I was so much affected by thisinsinuation, which seemed at once to blast all my hopes of love andhappiness, that the blood forsook my face; I was seized with an universaltrepidation, and even obliged to retire, on pretence of being suddenlytaken ill. 

Though Gonzales seemed to impute this disorder to fatigue and want ofrest, he in his heart ascribed it to the true cause; and, after havingsounded my sentiments to his own satisfaction, blessed me with adeclaration, importing, that I was the person upon whom he had pitchedfor a son-in-law. I will not trouble you with a repetition of whatpassed on this interesting occasion, but proceed to observe, that hisintention in my favour was far from being disagreeable to his lady; andthat, in a little time, I had the good fortune to espouse the charmingAntonia, who submitted to the will of her father without reluctance. 

Soon after this happy event, I was, by the influence of Don Gonzales, joined to my own interest, promoted to the command of a regiment, andserved with honour during the remaining part of the war. After thetreaty of Utrecht, I was employed in reducing the Catalans to theirallegiance; and, in an action with those obstinate rebels had themisfortune to lose my father-in-law, who by that time was preferred tothe rank of a major-general. The virtuous Estifania did not long survivethis melancholy accident; and the loss of these indulgent parents madesuch a deep impression upon the tender heart of my Antonia, that I tookthe first opportunity of removing her from a place in which every objectserved to cherish her grief, to a pleasant villa near the city ofSeville, which I purchased on account of its agreeable situation. That Imight the more perfectly enjoy the possession of my amiable partner, whocould no longer brook the thoughts of another separation, peace was nosooner re-established than I obtained leave to resign my commission, andI wholly devoted myself to the joys of a domestic life. 

Heaven seemed to smile upon our union, by blessing us with a son, whom, however, it was pleased to recall in his infancy, to our unspeakablegrief and mortification; but our mutual chagrin was afterwards alleviatedby the birth of a daughter, who seemed born with every accomplishment toexcite the love and admiration of mankind. Why did nature debase such amasterpiece with the mixture of an alloy, which hath involved herself andher whole family in perdition? But the ways of Providence areunsearchable. She hath paid the debt of her degeneracy; peace be withher soul! The honour of my family is vindicated; though by a sacrificewhich hath robbed me of everything else that is valuable in life, andruined my peace past all redemption. Yes, my friend, all the torturesthat human tyranny can inflict would be ease, tranquillity, and delight, to the unspeakable pangs and horrors I have felt. 

But, to return from this digression. --Serafina, which was the name ofthat little darling, as she grew up, not only disclosed all the naturalgraces of external beauty, but likewise manifested the most engagingsweetness of disposition, and a capacity for acquiring with ease all theaccomplishments of her sex. It is impossible to convey any adequate ideaof a parent's raptures in the contemplation of such a fair blossom. Shewas the only pledge of our love, she was presumptive heiress to a largefortune, and likely to be the sole representative of two noble Castilianfamilies. She was the delight of all who saw her, and a theme of praisefor every tongue. You are not to suppose that the education of such achild was neglected. Indeed, it wholly engrossed the attention of me andmy Antonia, and her proficiency rewarded our care. Before she hadattained the age of fifteen, she was mistress of every elegantqualification, natural and acquired. Her person was, by that time, theconfessed pattern of beauty. Her voice was enchantingly sweet, and shetouched the lute with the most ravishing dexterity. Heaven and earth!how did my breast dilate with joy at the thoughts of having given birthto such perfection! how did my heart gush with paternal fondness, whenever I beheld this ornament of my name! and what scenes of endearingtransport have I enjoyed with my Antonia, in mutual congratulation uponour parental happiness!

Serafina, accomplished as she was, could not fail to make conquests amongthe Spanish cavaliers, who are famous for sensibility in love. Indeed, she never appeared without a numerous train of admirers; and though wehad bred her up in that freedom of conversation and intercourse whichholds a middle space between the French licence and Spanish restraint, she was now so much exposed to the addresses of promiscuous gallantry, that we found it necessary to retrench the liberty of our house, andbehave to our male visitants with great reserve and circumspection, thatour honour and peace might run no risk from the youth and inexperience ofour daughter. 

This caution produced overtures from a great many young gentlemen of rankand distinction, who courted my alliance, by demanding Serafina inmarriage; and from the number I had actually selected one person, who wasin all respects worthy the possession of such an inestimable prize. Hisname was Don Manuel de Mendoza. His birth was noble, and his characterdignified with repeated acts of generosity and virtue. Yet, before Iwould signify to him my approbation of his suit, I resolved to informmyself whether or not the heart of Serafina was totally unengaged, andindifferent to any other object, that I might not lay a tyrannicalrestraint upon her inclinations. The result of my inquiry was a fullconviction of her having hitherto been deaf to the voice of love; andthis piece of information, together with my own sentiments in his favour, I communicated to Don Manuel, who heard these tidings with transports ofgratitude and joy. He was immediately favoured with opportunities ofacquiring the affection of my daughter, and his endeavours were at firstreceived with such respectful civility, as might have been easily warmedinto a mutual passion, had not the evil genius of our family interposed. 

O my friend! how shall I describe the depravity of that unhappy virgin'ssentiments! how recount the particulars of my own dishonour! I that amdescended from a long line of illustrious Castilians, who never receivedan injury they did not revenge, but washed away every blemish in theirfame with the blood of those who attempted to stain it! In thatcircumstance I have imitated the example of my glorious progenitors, andthat consideration alone hath supported me against all the assaults ofdespair. 

As I grudged no pains and expense in perfecting the education ofSerafina, my doors were open to every person who made an extraordinaryfigure in the profession of those amusing sciences in which shedelighted. The house of Don Diego de Zelos was a little academy forpainting, poetry, and music; and Heaven decreed that it should fall asacrifice to its regard for these fatal and delusive arts. Among otherpreceptors, it was her fate to be under the instruction of a cursedGerman, who, though his profession was drawing, understood the elementsand theory of music, possessed a large fund of learning and taste, andwas a person remarkable for his agreeable conversation. This traitor, who like you had lost one eye, I not only admitted into my house for theimprovement of my daughter, but even distinguished with particular marksof confidence and favour, little thinking he had either inclination orcapacity to debauch the sentiments of my child. I was rejoiced beyondmeasure to see with what alacrity she received his lessons, with whatavidity she listened to his discourse, which was always equally moral, instructing, and entertaining. 

Antonia seemed to vie with me in expressions of regard for thisaccomplished stranger, whom she could not help supposing to be a personof rank and family, reduced to his present situation by some unfortunatevicissitude of fate. I was disposed to concur with this opinion, andactually conjured him to make me his confidant, with such protestationsas left him no room to doubt my honour and beneficence; but he stillpersisted in declaring himself the son of an obscure mechanic in Bohemia;an origin to which surely no man would pretend who had the least claim tonobility of birth. While I was thus undeceived in my conjecture touchinghis birth and quality, I was confirmed in an opinion of his integrity andmoderation, and looked upon him as a man of honour, in despite of thelowness of his pedigree. Nevertheless, he was at bottom a mostperfidious wretch, and all this modesty and self-denial were the effectsof the most villanous dissimulation, a cloak under which he, unsuspected, robbed me of my honour and my peace. 

Not to trouble you with particulars, the recital of which would tear myheart-strings with indignation and remorse, I shall only observe, that, by the power of his infernal insinuation, he fascinated the heart ofSerafina, brought over Antonia herself to the interests of his passion, and at once detached them both from their duty and religion. Heaven andearth! how dangerous, how irresistible is the power of infatuation!While I remained in the midst of this blind security, waiting for thenuptials of my daughter, and indulging myself with the vain prospect ofher approaching felicity, Antonia found means to protract thenegotiations of the marriage, by representing that it would be a pity todeprive Serafina of the opportunity she then had of profiting by theGerman's instructions; and, upon that account, I prevailed upon DonManuel to bridle the impatience of his love. 

During this interval, as I one evening enjoyed the cool air in my owngarden, I was accosted by an old duenna, who had been my nurse and livedin the family since the time of my childhood. --"My duty, " said she, "willno longer permit me to wink in silence at the wrongs I see you dailysuffer. Dismiss that German from your house without delay, if yourespect the glory of your name, and the rights of our holy religion; thestranger is an abominable heretic; and, grant Heaven! he may not havealready poisoned the minds of those you hold most dear. " I had beenextremely alarmed at the beginning of this address; but, finding theimputation limited to the article of religion, in which, thank God, I amno bigot, I recovered my serenity of disposition, thanked the old womanfor her zeal, commended her piety, and encouraged her to persevere inmaking observations on such subjects as should concern my honour and myquiet. 

We live in such a world of wickedness and fraud, that a man cannot be toovigilant in his own defence: had I employed such spies from thebeginning, I should in all probability have been at this day inpossession of every comfort that renders life agreeable. The duenna, thus authorised, employed her sagacity with such success, that I hadreason to suspect the German of a design upon the heart of Serafina; but, as the presumptions did not amount to conviction, I contented myself withexiling him from my house, under the pretext of having discovered that hewas an enemy to the Catholic church; and forthwith appointed a day forthe celebration of my daughter's marriage with Don Manuel de Mendoza. Icould easily perceive a cloud of melancholy overspread the faces ofSerafina and her mother, when I declared these my resolutions; but, asthey made no objection to what I proposed, I did not at that time enterinto an explanation of the true motives that influenced my conduct. Bothparties were probably afraid of such expostulation. 

Meanwhile, preparations were made for the espousals of Serafina; and, notwithstanding the anxiety I had undergone, on account of her connexionwith the German, I began to think that her duty, her glory, had triumphedover all such low-born considerations, if ever they had been entertained;because she, and even Antonia, seemed to expect the ceremony withresignation, though the features of both still retained evident marks ofconcern, which I willingly imputed to the mutual prospect of theirseparation. This, however, was but a faithless calm, that soon, ah! toosoon, brought forth a tempest which hath wrecked my hopes. 

Two days before the appointed union of Don Manuel and Serafina, I wasinformed by the duenna, that, while she accompanied Antonia'swaiting-maid at church, she had seen her receive a billet from an oldwoman, who, kneeling at her side, had conveyed it in such a mysteriousmanner, as awakened the duenna's apprehensions about her young lady; shehad therefore hastened home to communicate this piece of intelligence, that I might have an opportunity of examining the messenger before shecould have time to deposit her trust. I could not help shivering withfearful presages upon this occasion, and even abhorring the person towhose duty and zeal I was beholden for the intelligence, even while Iendeavoured to persuade myself that the inquiry would end in thedetection of some paltry intrigue between the maid and her own gallant. I intercepted her in returning from church, and, commanding her to followme to a convenient place, extorted from her, by dint of threats, thefatal letter, which I read to this effect:--

"The whole business of my life, O divine Serafina! will be to repay thataffection I have been so happy as to engage. With what transport thenshall I obey your summons, in performing that enterprise, which willrescue you from the bed of a detested rival, and put myself in fullpossession of a jewel which I value infinitely more than life! Yes, adorable creature! I have provided everything for our escape, and atmidnight will attend you in your own apartment, from whence you shall beconveyed into a land of liberty and peace, where you will, unmolested, enjoy the purity of that religion you have espoused, and in full securitybless the arms of your ever faithful, ORLANDO. "

Were you a fond parent, a tender husband, and a noble Castilian, I shouldnot need to mention the unutterable horrors that took possession of mybosom, when I perused this accursed letter, by which I learned theapostasy, disobedience, and degeneracy of my idolised Serafina, who hadoverthrown and destroyed the whole plan of felicity which I had erected, and blasted all the glories of my name; and when the wretched messenger, terrified by my menaces and agitation, confessed that Antonia herself wasprivy to the guilt of her daughter, whom she had solemnly betrothed tothat vile German, in the sight of Heaven, and that by her connivance thisplebeian intended, that very night, to bereave me of my child, I was forsome moments stupefied with grief and amazement, that gave way to anecstasy of rage, which had well-nigh terminated in despair anddistraction. 

I now tremble, and my head grows giddy with the remembrance of thatdreadful occasion. Behold how the drops trickle down my forehead; thisagony is a fierce and familiar visitant; I shall banish it anon. Isummoned my pride, my resentment, to my assistance; these are thecordials that support me against all other reflections; those were theauxiliaries that enabled me, in the day of trial, to perform thatsacrifice which my honour demanded, in a strain so loud as to drown thecries of nature, love, and compassion. Yes, they espoused that glorywhich humanity would have betrayed, and my revenge was noble, thoughunnatural. 

My scheme was soon laid, my resolution soon taken; I privately confinedthe wretch who had been the industrious slave of this infamousconspiracy, that she might take no step to frustrate or interrupt theexecution of my design. Then repairing to the house of an apothecary whowas devoted to my service, communicated my intention, which he durst notcondemn, and could not reveal, without breaking the oath of secrecy I hadimposed; and he furnished me with two vials of poison for the dismalcatastrophe I had planned. Thus provided, I, on pretence of suddenbusiness at Seville, carefully avoided the dear, the wretched pair, whomI had devoted to death, that my heart might not relent, by means of thosetender ideas which the sight of them would have infallibly inspired; and, when daylight vanished, took my station near that part of the housethrough which the villain must have entered on his hellish purpose. There I stood, in a state of horrid expectation, my soul ravaged with thedifferent passions that assailed it, until the fatal moment arrived; whenI perceived the traitor approach the window of a lower apartment, whichled into that of Serafina, and gently lifting the casement, which waspurposely left unsecured, insinuated half of his body into the house. Then rushing upon him, in a transport of fury, I plunged my sword intohis heart, crying, "Villain! receive the reward of thy treachery andpresumption. "

The steel was so well aimed as to render a repetition of the strokeunnecessary; he uttered one groan, and fell breathless at my feet. Exulting with this first success of my revenge, I penetrated into thechamber where the robber of my peace was expected by the unhappy Serafinaand her mother, who, seeing me enter with a most savage aspect, and asword reeking with the vengeance I had taken, seemed almost petrifiedwith fear. "Behold, " said I, "the blood of that base plebeian, who madean attempt upon the honour of my house; your conspiracy against theunfortunate Don Diego de Zelos is now discovered; that presumptuousslave, the favoured Orlando, is now no more. "

Scarce had I pronounced these words, when a loud scream was uttered byboth the unhappy victims. "If Orlando is slain, " cried the infatuatedSerafina, "what have I to do with life? O my dear lord! my husband, andmy lover! how are our promised joys at once cut off! here, strike, myfather! complete your barbarous sacrifice! the spirit of the murderedOrlando still hovers for his wife. " These frantic exclamations, in whichshe was joined by Antonia, kept up the fury of my resentment, which bymeekness and submission might have been weakened and renderedineffectual. "Yes, hapless wretches, " I replied, "ye shall enjoy yourwish: the honour of my name requires that both shall die; yet I will notmangle the breast of Antonia, on which I have so often reposed; I willnot shed the blood of Zelos, nor disfigure the beauteous form ofSerafina, on which I have so often gazed with wonder and unspeakabledelight. Here is an elixir, to which I trust the consummation of myrevenge. "

So saying, I emptied the vials into separate cups, and, presenting one ineach hand, the miserable, the fair offenders instantly received thedestined draughts, which they drank without hesitation; then praying toheaven for the wretched Don Diego, sunk upon the same couch, and expiredwithout a groan. O well-contrived beverage! O happy composition, bywhich all the miseries of life are so easily cured!

Such was the fate of Antonia and Serafina; these hands were theinstruments that deprived them of life, these eyes beheld them therichest prize that death had ever won. Powers supreme! does Don Diegolive to make this recapitulation? I have done my duty; but ah! I amhaunted by the furies of remorse; I am tortured with the incessant stingsof remembrance and regret; even now the images of my wife and daughterpresent themselves to my imagination. All the scenes of happiness I haveenjoyed as a lover, husband, and parent, all the endearing hopes I havecherished, now pass in review before me, embittering the circumstances ofmy inexpressible woe; and I consider myself as a solitary outcast fromall the comforts of society. But, enough of these unmanly complaints;the yearnings of nature are too importunate. 

Having completed my vengeance, I retired into my closet, and, furnishingmyself with some ready money and jewels of considerable value, went intothe stable, saddled my favourite steed, which I instantly mounted, and, before the tumults of my breast subsided, found myself at the town of St. Lucar. There I learned from inquiry, that there was a Dutch bark in theharbour ready to sail; upon which I addressed myself to the master, who, for a suitable gratification, was prevailed upon to weigh anchor thatsame night; so that, embarking without delay, I soon bid eternal adieu tomy native country. It was not from reason and reflection that I tookthese measures for my personal safety; but, in consequence of aninvoluntary instinct, that seems to operate in the animal machine, whilethe faculty of thinking is suspended. 

To what a dreadful reckoning was I called, when reason resumed herfunction! You may believe me, my friend, when I assure you, that Ishould not have outlived those tragedies I acted, had I not beenrestrained from doing violence upon myself by certain considerations, which no man of honour ought to set aside. I could not bear the thoughtof falling ingloriously by the hand of an executioner, and entailingdisgrace upon a family that knew no stain; and I was deterred fromputting an end to my own misery, by the apprehension of posthumouscensure, which would have represented me as a desponding wretch, utterlydestitute of that patience, fortitude, and resignation, which are thecharacteristics of a true Castilian. I was also influenced by religiousmotives that suggested to me the necessity of living to atone, by mysufferings and sorrow, for the guilt I had incurred in complying with asavage punctilio, which is, I fear, displeasing in the sight of Heaven. 

These were the reasons that opposed my entrance into that peacefulharbour which death presented to my view; and they were soon reinforcedby another principle that sanctioned my determination to continue at theservile oar of life. In consequence of unfavourable winds, our vesselfor some days made small progress in her voyage to Holland, and near thecoast of Gallicia we were joined by an English ship from Vigo, the masterof which gave us to understand, that before he set sail, a courier hadarrived from Madrid at that place, with orders for the corregidore toprevent the escape of any native Spaniard by sea from any port within hisdistrict; and to use his utmost endeavours to apprehend the person of DonDiego de Zelos, who was suspected of treasonable practices against thestate. Such an order, with a minute description of my person, was at thesame time despatched to all the seaports and frontier places in Spain. 

You may easily suppose how I, who was already overwhelmed with distress, could bear this aggravation of misfortune and disgrace: I, who had alwaysmaintained the reputation of loyalty, which was acquired at the hazard ofmy life, and the expense of my blood. To deal candidly, I must own, thatthis intelligence roused me from a lethargy of grief which had begun tooverpower my faculties. I immediately imputed this dishonourable chargeto the evil offices of some villain, who had basely taken the advantageof my deplorable situation, and I was inflamed, inspirited with thedesire of vindicating my fame, and revenging the injury. Thus animated, I resolved to disguise myself effectually from the observation of thosespies which every nation finds its account in employing in foreigncountries; I purchased this habit from the Dutch navigator, in whosehouse I kept myself concealed, after our arrival at Amsterdam, until mybeard was grown to a sufficient length to favour my design, and thenappeared as a Persian dealer in jewels. As I could gain no satisfactoryinformation touching myself in this country, had no purpose to pursue, and was extremely miserable among a people, who, being mercenary andunsocial, were very ill adapted to alleviate the horrors of my condition, I gratified my landlord for his important services, with the best part ofmy effects; and having, by his means, procured a certificate from themagistracy, repaired to Rotterdam, from whence I set out in a travellingcarriage for Antwerp, on my way to this capital; hoping, with asuccession of different objects, to mitigate the anguish of my mind, andby the most industrious inquiry, to learn such particulars of that falseimpeachment, as would enable me to take measures for my ownjustification, as well as for projecting a plan of revenge against thevile perfidious author. 

This, I imagined, would be no difficult task, considering the friendshipand intercourse subsisting between the Spanish and French nations, andthe communicative disposition for which the Parisians are renowned; but Ihave found myself egregiously deceived in my expectation. The officersof police in this city are so inquisitive and vigilant that the mostminute action of a stranger is scrutinised with great severity; and, although the inhabitants are very frank in discoursing on indifferentsubjects, they are at the same time extremely cautious in avoiding allconversation that turns upon state occurrences and maxims of government. In a word, the peculiarity of my appearance subjects me so much toparticular observation, that I have hitherto thought proper to devour mygriefs in silence, and even to bear the want of almost every convenience, rather than hazard a premature discovery, by offering my jewels to sale. 

In this emergency I have been so far fortunate as to become acquaintedwith you, whom I look upon as a man of honour and humanity. Indeed, Iwas at first sight prepossessed in your favour, for, notwithstanding themistakes which men daily commit in judging from appearances, there issomething in the physiognomy of a stranger from which one cannot helpforming an opinion of his character and disposition. For once, mypenetration hath not failed me; your behaviour justifies my decision; youhave treated me with that sympathy and respect which none but thegenerous will pay to the unfortunate. I have trusted you accordingly. Ihave put my life, my honour, in your power; and I must beg leave todepend upon your friendship, for obtaining that satisfaction for whichalone I seek to live. Your employment engages you in the gay world; youdaily mingle with the societies of men; the domestics of the Spanishambassador will not shun your acquaintance; you may frequent thecoffee-houses to which they resort; and, in the course of theseoccasions, unsuspected inform yourself of that mysterious charge whichlies heavy on the fame of the unfortunate Don Diego. I must likewiseimplore your assistance in converting my jewels into money, that I maybreathe independent of man, until Heaven shall permit me to finish thisweary pilgrimage of life. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

A FLAGRANT INSTANCE OF FATHOM'S VIRTUE, IN THE MANNER OF HIS RETREAT TOENGLAND. 

Fathom, who had lent an attentive ear to every circumstance of thisdisastrous story, no sooner heard it concluded, than, with an aspect ofgenerous and cordial compassion, not even unattended with tears, hecondoled the lamentable fate of Don Diego de Zelos, deplored the untimelydeath of the gentle Antonia and the fair Serafina, and undertook theinterest of the wretched Castilian with such warmth of sympathising zeal, as drew a flood from his eyes, while he wrung his benefactor's hand in atransport of gratitude. Those were literally tears of joy, or at leastof satisfaction, on both sides; as our hero wept with affection andattachment to the jewels that were to be committed to his care; but, farfrom discovering the true source of his tenderness, he affected todissuade the Spaniard from parting with the diamonds, which he counselledhim to reserve for a more pressing occasion; and, in the meantime, earnestly entreated him to depend upon his friendship for present relief. 

This generous proffer served only to confirm Don Diego's resolution, which he forthwith executed, by putting into the hands of Ferdinandjewels to the value of a thousand crowns, and desiring him to detain forhis own use any part of the sum they would raise. Our adventurer thankedhim for the good opinion he entertained of his integrity, an opinionfully manifested in honouring him with such important confidence, andassured him he would transact his affairs with the utmost diligence, caution, and despatch. The evening being by this time almost consumed, these new allies retired separately to rest; though each passed the nightwithout repose, in very different reflections, the Castilian being, asusual, agitated with the unceasing pangs of his unalterable misery, interspersed with gleaming hopes of revenge; and Fathom being kept awakewith revolving plans for turning his fellow-lodger's credulity to his ownadvantage. From the nature of the Spaniard's situation, he might haveappropriated the jewels to himself, and remained in Paris without fear ofa prosecution, because the injured party had, by the above narrative, left his life and liberty at discretion. --But he did not think himselfsecure from the personal resentment of an enraged desperate Castilian;and therefore determined to withdraw himself privately into that countrywhere he had all along proposed to fix the standard of his finesse, whichfortune had now empowered him to exercise according to his wish. 

Bent upon this retreat, he went abroad in the morning, on pretence ofacting in the concerns of his friend Don Diego, and having hired apost-chaise to be ready at the dawning of next day, returned to hislodgings, where he cajoled the Spaniard with a feigned report of hisnegotiation; then, securing his most valuable effects about his person, arose with the cock, repaired to the place at which he had appointed tomeet the postillion with the carriage, and set out for England withoutfurther delay, leaving the unhappy Zelos to the horrors of indigence, andthe additional agony of this fresh disappointment. Yet he was not theonly person affected by the abrupt departure of Fathom, which washastened by the importunities, threats, and reproaches of his landlord'sdaughter, whom he had debauched under promise of marriage, and now leftin the fourth month of her pregnancy. 

Notwithstanding the dangerous adventure in which he had been formerlyinvolved by travelling in the night, he did not think proper to make theusual halts on this journey, for sleep or refreshment, nor did he oncequit the chaise till his arrival at Boulogne, which he reached in twentyhours after his departure from Paris. Here he thought he might safelyindulge himself with a comfortable meal; accordingly he bespoke a poulardfor dinner, and while that was preparing, went forth to view the city andharbour. When he beheld the white cliffs of Albion, his heart throbbedwith all the joy of a beloved son, who, after a tedious and fatiguingvoyage, reviews the chimneys of his father's house. He surveyed theneighbouring coast of England with fond and longing eyes, like anotherMoses, reconnoitring the land of Canaan from the top of Mount Pisgah; andto such a degree of impatience was he inflamed by the sight, that, instead of proceeding to Calais, he resolved to take his passage directlyfrom Boulogne, even if he should hire a vessel for the purpose. Withthese sentiments, he inquired if there was any ship bound for England, and was so fortunate as to find the master of a small bark, who intendedto weigh anchor for Deal that same evening at high water. 

Transported with this information, he immediately agreed for his passage, sold the post-chaise to his landlord for thirty guineas, as a piece offurniture for which he could have no further use, purchased aportmanteau, together with some linen and wearing apparel, and, at therecommendation of his host, took into his service an extra postillion orhelper, who had formerly worn the livery of a travelling marquis. Thisnew domestic, whose name was Maurice, underwent, with great applause, theexamination of our hero, who perceived in him a fund of sagacity andpresence of mind, by which he was excellently qualified for being thevalet of an adventurer. He was therefore accommodated with a second-handsuit and another shirt, and at once listed under the banners of CountFathom, who spent the whole afternoon in giving him proper instructionsfor the regulation of his conduct. 

Having settled these preliminaries to his own satisfaction, he and hisbaggage were embarked about six o'clock in the month of September, and itwas not without emotion that he found himself benighted upon the greatdeep, of which, before the preceding day, he had never enjoyed even themost distant prospect. However, he was not a man to be afraid, wherethere was really no appearance of danger; and the agreeable presages offuture fortune supported his spirits, amidst the disagreeable nauseawhich commonly attends landsmen at sea, until he was set ashore upon thebeach at Deal, which he entered in good health about seven o'clock in themorning. 

Like Caesar, however, he found some difficulty in landing, on account ofthe swelling surf, that tumbled about with such violence as had almostoverset the cutter that carried him on shore; and, in his eagerness tojump upon the strand, his foot slipped from the side of the boat, so thathe was thrown forwards in an horizontal direction, and his hands were thefirst parts of him that touched English ground. Upon this occasion, he, in imitation of Scipio's behaviour on the coast of Africa, hailed theomen, and, grasping a handful of the sand, was heard to exclaim, in theItalian language: "Ah, ah, Old England, I have thee fast. "

As he walked up to the inn, followed by Maurice loaded with hisportmanteau, he congratulated himself upon his happy voyage, and thepeaceable possession of his spoil, and could not help snuffing up theBritish air with marks of infinite relish and satisfaction. His firstcare was to recompense himself for the want of sleep he had undergone, and, after he had sufficiently recruited himself with several hours ofuninterrupted repose, he set out in a post-chaise for Canterbury, wherehe took a place in the London stage, which he was told would depart nextmorning, the coach being already full. On this very first day of hisarrival, he perceived between the English and the people among whom hehad hitherto lived, such essential difference in customs, appearance, andway of living, as inspired him with high notions of that British freedom, opulence, and convenience, on which he had often heard his motherexpatiate. On the road, he feasted his eyesight with the verdant hillscovered with flocks of sheep, the fruitful vales parcelled out intocultivated enclosures; the very cattle seemed to profit by the wealth oftheir masters, being large, sturdy, and sleek, and every peasant breathedthe insolence of liberty and independence. In a word, he viewed thewide-extended plains of Kent with a lover's eye, and, his ambitionbecoming romantic, could not help fancying himself another conqueror ofthe isle. 

He was not, however, long amused by these vain chimeras, which soonvanished before other reflections of more importance and solidity. Hisimagination, it must be owned, was at all times too chaste to admit thoseoverweening hopes, which often mislead the mind of the projector. He hadstudied mankind with incredible diligence, and knew perfectly well howfar he could depend on the passions and foibles of human nature. That hemight now act consistent with his former sagacity, he resolved to passhimself upon his fellow-travellers for a French gentleman, equally astranger to the language and country of England, in order to glean fromtheir discourse such intelligence as might avail him in his futureoperations; and his lacquey was tutored accordingly. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

SOME ACCOUNT OF HIS FELLOW-TRAVELLERS. 

Those who had taken places for the coach, understanding the sixth seatwas engaged by a foreigner, determined to profit by his ignorance; and, with that politeness which is peculiar to this happy island, fixedthemselves in the vehicle, in such a manner, before he had the leastintimation of their design, that he found it barely practicable toinsinuate himself sidelong between a corpulent quaker and a fat Wappinglandlady, in which attitude he stuck fast, like a thin quarto between twovoluminous dictionaries on a bookseller's shelf. And, as if the pain andinconvenience of such compression was not sufficient matter of chagrin, the greatest part of the company entertained themselves with laughing athis ludicrous station. 

The jolly dame at his left hand observed, with a loud exclamation ofmirth, that monsieur would be soon better acquainted with a buttock ofEnglish beef; and said, by that time they should arrive at theirdining-place, he might be spitted without larding. "Yes, verily, "replied Obadiah, who was a wag in his way, "but the swine's fat will beall on one side. "--"So much the better for you, " cried mine hostess, "forthat side is all your own. " The quaker was not so much disconcerted bythe quickness of this repartee, but that he answered with greatdeliberation, "I thank thee for thy love, but will not profit by thyloss, especially as I like not the savour of these outlandish fowls; theyare profane birds of passage, relished only by the children of vanity, like thee. "

The plump gentlewoman took umbrage at this last expression, which sheconsidered as a double reproach, and repeated the words, "Children ofvanity!" with an emphasis of resentment. "I believe, if the truth wereknown, " said she, "there's more vanity than midriff in that great bellyof yours, for all your pretending to humility and religion. Sirrah! mycorporation is made up of good, wholesome, English fat; but you arepuffed up with the wind of vanity and delusion; and when it begins togripe your entrails, you pretend to have a motion, and then get up andpreach nonsense. Yet you'll take it upon you to call your betterschildren. Marry come up, Mr. Goosecap, I have got children that are asgood men as you, or any hypocritical trembler in England. "

A person who sat opposite to the quaker, hearing this remonstrance, whichseemed pregnant with contention, interposed in the conversation with aconscious leer, and begged there might be no rupture between the spiritand the flesh. By this remonstrance he relieved Obadiah from the satireof this female orator, and brought the whole vengeance of her elocutionupon his own head. "Flesh!" cried she, with all the ferocity of anenraged Thalestris; "none of your names, Mr. Yellowchaps. What! Iwarrant you have an antipathy to flesh, because you yourself are nothingbut skin and bone. I suppose you are some poor starved journeyman tailorcome from France, where you have been learning to cabbage, and have notseen a good meal of victuals these seven years. You have been livingupon rye-bread and soup-maigre, and now you come over like a walkingatomy with a rat's tail at your wig, and a tinsey jacket. And so, forsooth, you set up for a gentleman, and pretend to find fault with asirloin of roast beef. "

The gentleman heard this address with admirable patience, and when shehad rung out her alarm, very coolly replied, "Anything but your stinkingfish madam. Since when, I pray, have you travelled in stage-coaches, andleft off your old profession of crying oysters in winter, and rottenmackerel in June? You was then known by the name of Kate Brawn, and ingood repute among the ale-houses in Thames Street, till that unluckyamour with the master of a corn-vessel, in which he was unfortunatelydetected by his own spouse; but you seem to have risen by that fall; andI wish you joy of your present plight. Though, considering youreducation on Bear Quay, you can give but a sorry account of yourself. "

The Amazon, though neither exhausted nor dismayed, was really confoundedat the temper and assurance of this antagonist, who had gathered allthese anecdotes from the fertility of his own invention; after a shortpause, however, she poured forth a torrent of obloquy sufficient tooverwhelm any person who had not been used to take up arms against suchseas of trouble; and a dispute ensued, which would have not onlydisgraced the best orators on the Thames, but even have made a figure inthe celebration of the Eleusinian mysteries, during which the Athenianmatrons rallied one another from different waggons, with that freedom ofaltercation so happily preserved in this our age and country. 

Such a redundancy of epithets, and variety of metaphors, tropes, andfigures were uttered between these well-matched opponents, that an epicbard would have found his account in listening to the contest; which, inall probability, would not have been confined to words, had it not beeninterrupted for the sake of a young woman of an agreeable countenance andmodest carriage; who, being shocked at some of their flowers of speech, and terrified by the menacing looks and gestures of the fiery-featureddame, began to scream aloud, and beg leave to quit the coach. Herperturbation put an end to the high debate. The sixth passenger, who hadnot opened his mouth, endeavoured to comfort her with assurances ofprotection; the quaker proposed a cessation of arms; the male disputantacquiesced in the proposal, assuring the company he had entered the listsfor their entertainment only, without acquiring the least grudge orill-will to the fat gentlewoman, whom he protested he had never seenbefore that day, and who, for aught he knew, was a person of credit andreputation. He then held forth his hand in token of amity, and askedpardon of the offended party, who was appeased by his submission; and, intestimony of her benevolence, presented to the other female, whom she haddiscomposed, an Hungary-water bottle filled with cherry-brandy, recommending it as a much more powerful remedy than the sal-volatilewhich the other held to her nose. 

Peace being thus re-established, in a treaty comprehending Obadiah andall present, it will not be improper to give the reader some furtherinformation, touching the several characters assembled in this vehicle. The quaker was a London merchant, who had been at Deal superintending therepairs of a ship which had suffered by a storm in the Downs. TheWapping landlady was on her return from the same place, where she hadattended the payment of a man-of-war, with sundry powers of attorney, granted by the sailors, who had lived upon credit at her house. Hercompetitor in fame was a dealer in wine, a smuggler of French lace, and apetty gamester just arrived from Paris, in the company of an Englishbarber, who sat on his right hand, and the young woman was daughter of acountry curate, in her way to London, where she was bound apprentice to amilliner. 

Hitherto Fathom had sat in silent astonishment at the manners of hisfellow-travellers, which far exceeded the notions he had preconceived ofEnglish plainness and rusticity. He found himself a monument of thatdisregard and contempt which a stranger never fails to meet with from theinhabitants of this island; and saw, with surprise, an agreeable youngcreature sit as solitary and unheeded as himself. 

He was, indeed, allured by the roses of her complexion, and the innocenceof her aspect, and began to repent of having pretended ignorance of thelanguage, by which he was restrained from exercising his eloquence uponher heart; he resolved, however, to ingratiate himself, if possible, bythe courtesy and politeness of dumb show, and for that purpose put hiseyes in motion without farther delay. 

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

ANOTHER PROVIDENTIAL DELIVERANCE FROM THE EFFECTS OF THE SMUGGLER'SINGENIOUS CONJECTURE. 

During these deliberations, the wine merchant, with a view to make aparade of his superior parts and breeding, as well as to pave the way fora match at backgammon, made a tender of his snuff-box to our adventurer, and asked, in bad French, how he travelled from Paris. This questionproduced a series of interrogations concerning the place of Ferdinand'sabode in that city, and his business in England, so that he was fain topractise the science of defence, and answered with such ambiguity, asaroused the suspicion of the smuggler, who began to believe our hero hadsome very cogent reason for evading his curiosity; he immediately set hisreflection at work, and, after various conjectures, fixed upon Fathom'sbeing the Young Pretender. Big with this supposition, he eyed him withthe most earnest attention, comparing his features with those of theChevalier's portrait which he had seen in France, and though the faceswere as unlike as any two human faces could be, found the resemblance sostriking as to dispel all his doubts, and persuade him to introduce thestranger to some justice on the road; a step by which he would not onlymanifest his zeal for the Protestant succession, but also acquire thesplendid reward proposed by parliament to any person who should apprehendthat famous adventurer. 

These ideas intoxicated the brain of this man to such a pitch ofenthusiasm, that he actually believed himself in possession of the thirtythousand pounds, and amused his fancy with a variety of magnificentprojects to be executed by means of that acquisition, until his reveriewas interrupted by the halting of the coach at the inn where thepassengers used to eat their breakfasts. Waked as he was from the dreamof happiness, it had made such impression upon his mind, that, seeingFathom rise up with an intention to alight, he took it for granted hisdesign was to escape, and seizing him by the collar, called aloud forassistance in the King's name. 

Our hero, whose sagacity and presence of mind very often supplied theplace of courage, instead of being terrified at this assault, which mighthave disturbed the tranquillity of an ordinary villain, was so perfectlymaster of every circumstance of his own situation, as to know at oncethat the aggressor could not possibly have the least cause of complaintagainst him; and therefore, imputing this violence either to madness ormistake, very deliberately suffered himself to be made prisoner by thepeople of the house, who ran to the coach door in obedience to thesummons of the wine merchant. The rest of the company were struck dumbwith surprise and consternation at this sudden adventure; and the quaker, dreading some fell resistance on the side of the outlandish man, unpinnedthe other coach door in the twinkling of an eye, and trundled himselfinto the mud for safety. The others, seeing the temper and resignationof the prisoner, soon recovered their recollection, and began to inquireinto the cause of his arrest, upon which, the captor, whose teethchattered with terror and impatience, gave them to understand that he wasa state criminal, and demanded their help in conveying him to justice. 

Luckily for both parties, there happened to be at the inn a company ofsquires just returned from the death of a leash of hares, which they hadordered to be dressed for dinner, and among these gentlemen was one ofthe quorum, to whom the accuser had immediate recourse, marching beforethe captive, who walked very peaceably between the landlord and one ofhis waiters, and followed by a crowd of spectators, some of whom hadsecured the faithful Maurice, who in his behaviour closely imitated thedeliberation of his master. In this order did the procession advance tothe apartment in which the magistrate, with his fellows of the chase, satsmoking his morning pipe over a tankard of strong ale, and the smugglerbeing directed to the right person, "May it please your worship, " saidhe, "I have brought this foreigner before you, on a violent suspicion ofhis being a proclaimed outlaw; and I desire, before these witnesses, thatmy title may be made good to the reward that shall become due upon hisconviction. "

"Friend, " replied the justice, "I know nothing of you or your titles; butthis I know, if you have any information to give in, you must come to myhouse when I am at home, and proceed in a lawful way, that is, d'ye mindme, if you swear as how this here person is an outlaw; then if so be ashe has nothing to say to the contrary, my clerk shall make out amittimus, and so to jail with him till next 'size. " "But, sir, " answeredthe impeacher, "this is a case that admits of no delay; the person I haveapprehended is a prisoner of consequence to the state. " "How, fellor!"cried the magistrate, interrupting him, "is there any person of moreconsequence than one of his Majesty's justices of the peace, who isbesides a considerable member of the landed interest! D'ye know, sirrah, who you are talking to? If you don't go about your business, I believe Ishall lay you by the heels. "

The smuggler, fearing his prize would escape through the ignorance, pride, and obstinacy of this country justice, approached his worship, andin a whisper which was overheard by all the company, assured him he hadindubitable reason to believe the foreigner was no other than thePretender's eldest son. At mention of this formidable name, everyindividual of the audience started, with signs of terror and amazement. The justice dropped his pipe, recoiled upon his chair, and, looking mostridiculously aghast, exclaimed, "Seize him, in the name of God and hisMajesty King George! Has he got no secret arms about him!"

Fathom being thus informed of the suspicion under which he stood, couldnot help smiling at the eagerness with which the spectators flew uponhim, and suffered himself to be searched with great composure, wellknowing they would find no moveables about his person, but such as uponexamination would turn to his account; he therefore very calmly presentedto the magistrate his purse, and a small box that contained his jewels, and in the French language desired they might be preserved from the handsof the mob. This request was interpreted by the accuser, who, at thesame time, laid claim to the booty. The justice took charge of thedeposit, and one of his neighbours having undertaken the office of clerk, he proceeded to the examination of the culprit, whose papers were by thistime laid on the table before him. "Stranger, " said he, "you standcharged with being son of the Pretender to these realms; what have you tosay in your own defence?" Our hero assured him, in the French language, that he was falsely impeached, and demanded justice on the accuser, who, without the least reason, had made such a malicious attack upon the lifeand honour of an innocent gentleman. 

The smuggler, instead of acting the part of a faithful interpreter, toldhis worship, that the prisoner's answer was no more than a simple denial, which every felon would make who had nothing else to plead in his ownbehalf, and that this alone was a strong presumption of his guilt, because, if he was not really the person they suspected him to be, thething would speak for itself, for, if he was not the Young Pretender, whothen was he? This argument had great weight with the justice, who, assuming a very important aspect, observed, "Very true, friend, if youare not the Pretender, in the name of God, who are you? One may see withhalf an eye that he is no better than a promiscuous fellow. "

Ferdinand now began to repent of having pretended ignorance of theEnglish language, as he found himself at the mercy of a rascal, who put afalse gloss upon all his words, and addressed himself to the audiencesuccessively in French, High Dutch, Italian, and Hungarian Latin, desiring to know if any person present understood any of these tongues, that his answers might be honestly explained to the bench. But he mighthave accosted them in Chinese with the same success: there was not oneperson present tolerably versed in his mother-tongue, much lessacquainted with any foreign language, except the wine merchant, who, incensed at this appeal, which he considered as an affront to hisintegrity, gave the judge to understand, that the delinquent, instead ofspeaking to the purpose, contumaciously insulted his authority in sundryforeign lingos, which he apprehended was an additional proof of his beingthe Chevalier's son, inasmuch as no person would take the pains to learnsuch a variety of gibberish, except with some sinister intent. 

This annotation was not lost upon the squire, who was too jealous of thehonour of his office to overlook such a flagrant instance of contempt. His eyes glistened, his cheeks were inflated with rage. "The case isplain, " said he; "having nothing of signification to offer in his ownfavour, he grows refractory, and abuses the court in his base RomanCatholic jargon; but I'll let you know, for all you pretend to be aprince, you are no better than an outlawed vagrant, and I'll show youwhat a thing you are when you come in composition with an Englishjustice, like me, who have more than once extinguished myself in theservice of my country. As nothing else accrues, your purse, black box, and papers shall be sealed up before witnesses, and sent by express toone of his Majesty's secretaries of state; and, as for yourself, I willapply to the military at Canterbury, for a guard to conduct you toLondon. "

This was a very unwelcome declaration to our adventurer, who was on thepoint of haranguing the justice and spectators in their own language, when he was relieved from the necessity of taking that step by theinterposition of a young nobleman just arrived at the inn, who, beinginformed of this strange examination, entered the court, and, at firstsight of the prisoner, assured the justice he was imposed upon; for thathe himself had often seen the Young Pretender in Paris, and that therewas no kind of resemblance between that adventurer and the person nowbefore him. The accuser was not a little mortified at his lordship'saffirmation, which met with all due regard from the bench, though themagistrate took notice, that, granting the prisoner was not the YoungChevalier himself, it was highly probable he was an emissary of thathouse, as he could give no satisfactory account of himself, and waspossessed of things of such value as no honest man could expose to theaccidents of the road. 

Fathom, having thus found an interpreter, who signified to him, in theFrench tongue, the doubts of the justice, told his lordship, that hewas a gentleman of a noble house in Germany, who, for certain reasons, had come abroad incognito, with a view to see the world; and that, although the letters they had seized would prove the truth of thatassertion, he should be loth to expose his private concerns to theknowledge of strangers, if he could possibly be released without thatmortification. The young nobleman explained his desire to the court;but, his own curiosity being interested, observed, at the same time, that the justice could not be said to have discharged the duties of hisstation, until he should have examined every circumstance relating to theprisoner. Upon which remonstrance, he was requested by the bench toperuse the papers, and accordingly communicated the substance of oneletter to this effect:--

"MY DEAR SON, --Though I am far from approving the rash step you havetaken in withdrawing yourself from your father's house, in order to avoidan engagement which would have been equally honourable and advantageousto your family, I cannot so far suppress my affection, as to bear thethought of your undergoing those hardships which, for your disobedience, you deserve to suffer. I have therefore, without the knowledge of yourfather, sent the bearer to attend you in your peregrinations; hisfidelity you know hath been tried in a long course of service, and I haveentrusted to his care, for your use, a purse of two hundred ducats, and abox of jewels to the value of twice that sum, which, though notsufficient to support an equipage suitable to your birth, will, at leastfor some time, preserve you from the importunities of want. When you aredutiful enough to explain your designs and situation, you may expectfurther indulgence from your tender and disconsolate mother, -- COUNTESS OF FATHOM. "

This letter, which, as well as the others, our hero had forged for thepurpose, effectually answered his intent, in throwing dust in the eyesand understanding of the spectators, who now regarded the prisoner withlooks of respectful remorse, as a man of quality who had been falselyaccused. His lordship, to make a parade of his own politeness andimportance, assured the bench, he was no stranger to the family of theFathoms, and, with a compliment, gave Ferdinand to understand he hadformerly seen him at Versailles. There being no longer room forsuspicion, the justice ordered our adventurer to be set at liberty, andeven invited him to be seated, with an apology for the rude manner inwhich he had been treated, owing to the misinformation of the accuser, who was threatened with the stocks, for his malice and presumption. 

But this was not the only triumph our hero obtained over the winemerchant. Maurice was no sooner unfettered, than, advancing into themiddle of the room, "My lord, " said he, addressing himself in French tohis master's deliverer, "since you have been so generous as to protect anoble stranger from the danger of such a false accusation, I hope youwill still lay an additional obligation upon the Count, by retorting thevengeance of the law upon his perfidious accuser, whom I know to be atrader in those articles of merchandise which are prohibited by theordinances of this nation. I have seen him lately at Boulogne, and amperfectly well acquainted with some persons who have supplied him withFrench lace and embroidery; and, as a proof of what I allege, I desireyou will order him and this barber, who is his understrapper, to beexamined on the spot. "

This charge, which was immediately explained to the bench, yieldedextraordinary satisfaction to the spectators, one of whom, being anofficer of the customs, forthwith began to exercise his function upon theunlucky perruquier, who, being stripped of his upper garments, and evenof his shirt, appeared like the mummy of an Egyptian king, most curiouslyrolled up in bandages of rich figured gold shalloon, that covered theskirts of four embroidered waistcoats. The merchant, seeing hisexpectation so unhappily reversed, made an effort to retire with a mostrueful aspect, but was prevented by the officer, who demanded theinterposition of the civil power, that he might undergo the sameexamination to which the other had been subjected. He was accordinglyrifled without loss of time, and the inquiry proved well worth the careof him who made it; for a considerable booty of the same sort ofmerchandise was found in his boots, breeches, hat, and between thebuckram and lining of his surtout. Yet, not contented with this prize, the experienced spoiler proceeded to search his baggage, and, perceivinga false bottom in his portmanteau, detected beneath it a valuableaccession to the plunder he had already obtained. 

CHAPTER THIRTY

THE SINGULAR MANNER OF FATHOM'S ATTACK AND TRIUMPH OVER THE VIRTUE OF THEFAIR ELENOR. 

Proper cognisance being thus taken of these contraband effects, and theinformer furnished with a certificate, by which he was entitled to ashare of the seizure, the coachman summoned his passengers to thecarriage; the purse and jewels were restored to Count Fathom, who thankedthe justice, and his lordship in particular, for the candour andhospitality with which he had been treated, and resumed his place in thevehicle, amidst the congratulations of all his fellow-travellers, exceptthe two forlorn smugglers, who, instead of re-embarking in the coach, thought proper to remain at the inn, with view to mitigate, if possible, the severity of their misfortune. 

Among those who felicitated Fathom upon the issue of this adventure, theyoung maiden seemed to express the most sensible pleasure at that event. The artful language of his eyes had raised in her breast certainfluttering emotions, before she knew the value of her conquest; but nowthat his rank and condition were discovered, these transports wereincreased by the ideas of vanity and ambition, which are mingled with thefirst seeds of every female constitution. The belief of havingcaptivated the heart of a man who could raise her to the rank and dignityof a countess, produced such agreeable sensations in her fancy, that hereyes shone with unusual lustre, and a continual smile played in dimpleson her rosy cheeks; so that her attractions, though not powerful enoughto engage the affection, were yet sufficient to inflame the desire of ouradventurer, who very honestly marked her chastity for prey to hisvoluptuous passion. Had she been well seasoned with knowledge andexperience, and completely armed with caution against the artifice andvillany of man, her virtue might not have been able to withstand theengines of such an assailant, considering the dangerous opportunities towhich she was necessarily exposed. How easy then must his victory havebeen over an innocent, unsuspecting country damsel, flushed with thewarmth of youth, and an utter stranger to the ways of life!

While Obadiah, therefore, and his plump companion, were engaged inconversation, on the strange incidents which had passed, Fathom acted avery expressive pantomime with this fair buxom nymph, who comprehendedhis meaning with surprising facility, and was at so little pains toconceal the pleasure she took in this kind of intercourse, that severalwarm squeezes were interchanged between her and her lover, before theyarrived at Rochester, where they proposed to dine. It was during thisperiod, he learned from the answers she made to the inquisitive quaker, that her sole dependence was upon a relation, to whom she had a letter, and that she was a perfect stranger in the great city; circumstances onwhich he soon formed the project of her ruin. 

Upon their arrival at the Black Bull, he for the first time found himselfalone with his Amanda, whose name was Elenor, their fellow-travellersbeing elsewhere employed about their own concerns; and, unwilling to losethe precious opportunity, he began to act the part of a very importunatelover, which he conceived to be a proper sequel to the prelude which hadbeen performed in the coach. The freedoms which she, out of puresimplicity and good-humour, permitted him to take with her hand, and evenher rosy lips, encouraged him to practise other familiarities upon herfair bosom, which scandalised her virtue so much, that, in spite of thepassion she had begun to indulge in his behalf, she rejected his advanceswith all the marks of anger and disdain; and he found it necessary toappease the storm he had raised, by the most respectful and submissivedemeanour; resolving to change his operations, and carry on his attacks, so as to make her yield at discretion, without alarming her religion orpride. Accordingly, when the bill was called after dinner, he tookparticular notice of her behaviour, and, perceiving her pull out a largeleathern purse that contained her money, reconnoitred the pocket in whichit was deposited, and, while they sat close to each other in thecarriage, conveyed it with admirable dexterity into an hole in thecushion. Whether the corpulent couple, who sat opposite to these lovers, had entered into an amorous engagement at the inn, or were severallyinduced by other motives, is uncertain; but sure it is, both left thecoach on that part of the road which lies nearest to Gravesend, and badeadieu to the other pair, on pretence of having urgent business at thatplace. 

Ferdinand, not a little pleased at their departure, renewed his mostpathetic expressions of love, and sung several French songs on thattender subject, which seemed to thrill to the soul of his beauteousHelen. While the driver halted at Dartford to water his horses, she wassmit with the appearance of some cheesecakes, which were presented by thelandlady of the house, and having bargained for two or three, put herhand in her pocket, in order to pay for her purchase; but what was herastonishment, when, after having rummaged her equipage, she understoodher whole fortune was lost! This mishap was, by a loud shriek, announcedto our hero, who affected infinite amazement and concern; and no soonerlearned the cause of her affliction, than he presented her with his ownpurse, from which he, in emphatic dumb show, begged she would indemnifyherself for the damage she had sustained. Although this kind proffer wassome alleviation of her misfortunes, she did not fail to pour forth amost piteous lamentation, importing that she had not only lost all hermoney, amounting to five pounds, but also her letter of recommendation, upon which she had altogether relied for present employment. 

The vehicle was minutely searched from top to bottom, by herself and ouradventurer, assisted by Maurice and the coachman, who, finding theirinquiry ineffectual, did not scruple to declare his suspicion of the twofat turtles who had deserted the coach in such an abrupt manner. In aword, he rendered this conjecture so plausible, by wresting thecircumstances of their behaviour and retreat, that poor Elenor implicitlybelieved they were the thieves by whom she had suffered; and wasprevailed upon to accept the proffered assistance of the generous Count, who, seeing her very much disordered by this mischance, insisted upon herdrinking a large glass of canary, to quiet the perturbation of herspirits. This is a season, which of all others is most propitious to theattempts of an artful lover; and justifies the metaphorical maxim offishing in troubled waters. There is an affinity and short transitionbetwixt all the violent passions that agitate the human mind. They areall false perspectives, which, though they magnify, yet perplex andrender indistinct every object which they represent. And flattery isnever so successfully administered, as to those who know they stand inneed of friendship, assent, and approbation. 

The cordial she swallowed, far from calming, increased the disturbance ofher thoughts, and produced an intoxication; during which, she talked inan incoherent strain, laughed and wept by turns, and acted otherextravagances, which are known to be symptoms of the hystericalaffection. Fathom, though an utter stranger to the sentiments of honour, pity, and remorse, would not perpetrate his vicious purpose, thoughfavoured by the delirium his villany had entailed upon this unfortunateyoung maiden; because his appetite demanded a more perfect sacrifice thanthat which she could yield in her present deplorable situation, when herwill must have been altogether unconcerned in his success. Determined, therefore, to make a conquest of her virtue, before he would takepossession of her person, he mimicked that compassion and benevolencewhich his heart had never felt, and, when the coach arrived at London, not only discharged what she owed for her place, but likewise procuredfor her an apartment in the house to which he himself had been directedfor lodgings, and even hired a nurse to attend her during a severe fever, which was the consequence of her disappointment and despondence. Indeed, she was supplied with all necessaries by the generosity of this nobleCount, who, for the interest of his passion, and the honour of his name, was resolved to extend his charity to the last farthing of her own money, which he had been wise enough to secure for this purpose. 

Her youth soon got the better of her distemper, and when she understoodher obligations to the Count, who did not fail to attend her in personwith great tenderness, her heart, which had been before prepossessed inhis favour, now glowed with all the warmth of gratitude, esteem, andaffection. She knew herself in a strange place, destitute of allresource but in his generosity. She loved his person, she was dazzled byhis rank; and he knew so well how to improve the opportunities andadvantages he derived from her unhappy situation, that he graduallyproceeded in sapping from one degree of intimacy to another, until allthe bulwarks of her chastity were undermined, and she submitted to hisdesire; not with the reluctance of a vanquished people, but with all thetransports of a joyful city, that opens its gates to receive a darlingprince returned from conquest. For by this time he had artfullyconcentred and kindled up all the inflammable ingredients of herconstitution; and she now looked back upon the virtuous principles of hereducation, as upon a disagreeable and tedious dream, from which she hadwaked to the fruition of never-fading joy. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

HE BY ACCIDENT ENCOUNTERS HIS OLD FRIEND, WITH WHOM HE HOLDS ACONFERENCE, AND RENEWS A TREATY. 

Our hero, having thus provided himself with a proper subject for hishours of dalliance, thought it was now high time to study the groundwhich he had pitched upon for the scene of his exploits, and with thatview made several excursions to different parts of the town, where therewas aught of entertainment or instruction to be found. Yet he always, onthese occasions, appeared in an obscure ordinary dress, in order to avoidsingularity, and never went twice to the same coffee-house, that hisperson might not be afterwards known, in case he should shine forth tothe public in a superior sphere. On his return from one of thoseexpeditions, while he was passing through Ludgate, his eyes were suddenlyencountered by the apparition of his old friend the Tyrolese, who, perceiving himself fairly caught in the toil, made a virtue of necessity, and, running up to our adventurer with an aspect of eagerness and joy, clasped him in his arms, as some dear friend, whom he had casually foundafter a most tedious and disagreeable separation. 

Fathom, whose genius never failed him in such emergencies, far fromreceiving these advances with the threats and reproaches which the otherhad deserved at his hands, returned the salute with equal warmth, and wasreally overjoyed at meeting with a person who might one way or other makeamends for the perfidy of his former conduct. The Tyrolese, whose namewas Ratchcali, pleased with his reception, proposed they should adjournto the next tavern, in which they had no sooner taken possession of anapartment, than he addressed himself to his old companion in thesewords:--

"Mr. Fathom, by your frank and obliging manner of treating a man who hathdone you wrong, I am more and more confirmed in my opinion of yoursagacity, which I have often considered with admiration; I will nottherefore attempt to make an apology for my conduct at our last parting;but only assure you that this meeting may turn out to our mutualadvantage, if we now re-enter into an unreserved union, the ties of whichwe will soon find it our interest and inclination to preserve. For myown part, as my judgment is ripened by experience, so are my sentimentschanged since our last association. I have seen many a rich harvestlost, for want of a fellow-labourer in the vineyard; and I have more thanonce fallen a sacrifice to a combination, which I could have resistedwith the help of one able auxiliary. Indeed, I might prove what I allegeby mathematical demonstration; and I believe nobody will pretend to deny, that two heads are better than one, in all cases that require discernmentand deliberation. "

Ferdinand could not help owning the sanity of his observations, andforthwith acquiesced in his proposal of the new alliance; desiring toknow the character in which he acted on the English stage, and the schemehe would offer for their mutual emolument. At the same time he resolvedwithin himself to keep such a strict eye over his future actions, aswould frustrate any design he might hereafter harbour, of repeating theprank he had so successfully played upon him, in their journey from thebanks of the Rhine. 

"Having quitted you at Bar-le-duc, " resumed the Tyrolese, "I travelledwithout ceasing, until I arrived at Frankfort upon the Maine, where Iassumed the character of a French chevalier, and struck some masterlystrokes, which you yourself would not have deemed unworthy of yourinvention; and my success was the more agreeable, as my operations werechiefly carried on against the enemies of our religion. But myprosperity was not of long duration. Seeing they could not foil me at myown weapons, they formed a damned conspiracy, by which I not only lostall the fruits of my industry, but likewise ran the most imminent hazardof my life. I had ordered some of those jewels which I had borrowed ofmy good friend Fathom to be new set in a fashionable taste, and soonafter had an opportunity to sell one of these, at a great advantage, toone of the fraternity, who offered an extraordinary price for the stone, on purpose to effect my ruin. In less than four-and-twenty hours afterthis bargain, I was arrested by the officers of justice upon the oath ofthe purchaser, who undertook to prove me guilty of a fraud, in selling aSaxon pebble for a real diamond; and this accusation was actually true;for the change had been artfully put upon me by the jeweller, who washimself engaged in the conspiracy. 

"Had my conscience been clear of any other impeachment, perhaps I shouldhave rested my cause upon the equity and protection of the law; but Iforesaw that the trial would introduce an inquiry, to which I was not atall ambitious of submitting, and therefore was fain to compromise theaffair, at the price of almost my whole fortune. Yet this accommodationwas not made so secretly, but that my character was blasted, and mycredit overthrown; so that I was fain to relinquish my occasionalequipage, and hire myself as journeyman to a lapidary, an employmentwhich I had exercised in my youth. In this obscure station, I labouredwith great assiduity, until I made myself perfect in the knowledge ofstones, as well as in the different methods of setting them off to thebest advantage; and having, by dint of industry and address, gotpossession of a small parcel, set out for this kingdom, in which Ihappily arrived about four months ago; and surely England is the paradiseof artists of our profession. 

"One would imagine that nature had created the inhabitants for thesupport and enjoyment of adventurers like you and me. Not that theseislanders open the arms of hospitality to all foreigners withoutdistinction. On the contrary, they inherit from their fathers anunreasonable prejudice against all nations under the sun; and when anEnglishman happens to quarrel with a stranger, the first term of reproachhe uses is the name of his antagonist's country, characterised by someopprobrious epithet, such as a chattering Frenchman, an Italian ape, aGerman hog, and a beastly Dutchman; nay, their national prepossession ismaintained even against those people with whom they are united under thesame laws and government; for nothing is more common than to hear themexclaim against their fellow-subjects, in the expressions of a beggarlyScot, and an impudent Irish bog-trotter. Yet this very prejudice willnever fail to turn to the account of every stranger possessed of ordinarytalents; for he will always find opportunities of conversing with them incoffee-houses and places of public resort, in spite of their professedreserve, which, by the bye, is so extraordinary, that I know some peoplewho have lived twenty years in the same house without exchanging one wordwith their next-door neighbours; yet, provided he can talk sensibly, andpreserve the deportment of a sober gentleman, in those occasionalconversations, his behaviour will be the more remarkably pleasing, as itwill agreeably disappoint the expectation of the person who hadentertained notions to his prejudice. When a foreigner has once crossedthis bar, which perpetually occurs, he sails without further difficultyinto the harbour of an Englishman's goodwill; for the pique is neitherpersonal nor rancorous, but rather contemptuous and national; so that, while he despises a people in the lump, an individual of that verycommunity may be one of his chief favourites. 

"The English are in general upright and honest, therefore unsuspectingand credulous. They are too much engrossed with their own business topry into the conduct of their neighbours, and too indifferent, in pointof disposition, to interest themselves in what they conceive to beforeign to their own concerns. They are wealthy and mercantile, ofconsequence liberal and adventurous, and so well disposed to take a man'sown word for his importance, that they suffer themselves to be preyedupon by such a bungling set of impostors, as would starve for lack ofaddress in any other country under the sun. This being a true sketch ofthe British character, so far as I have been able to observe and learn, you will easily comprehend the profits that may be extracted from it, byvirtue of those arts by which you so eminently excel;--the great, theunbounded prospect lies before me! Indeed, I look upon this opulentkingdom as a wide and fertile common, on which we adventurers may rangefor prey, without let or molestation. For so jealous are the natives oftheir liberties, that they will not bear the restraint of necessarypolice, and an able artist may enrich himself with their spoils, withoutrunning any risk of attracting the magistrate, or incurring the leastpenalty of the law. 

"In a word, this metropolis is a vast masquerade, in which a man ofstratagem may wear a thousand different disguises, without danger ofdetection. There is a variety of shapes in which we the knights ofindustry make our appearance in London. One glides into a nobleman'shouse in the capacity of a valet-de-chambre, and in a few months leadsthe whole family by the nose. Another exhibits himself to the public, asan empiric or operator for the teeth; and by dint of assurance andaffidavits, bearing testimony to wonderful cures that never wereperformed, whirls himself into his chariot, and lays the town undercontribution. A third professes the composition of music, as well as theperformance, and by means of a few capriciosos on the violin, properlyintroduced, wriggles himself into the management of private and publicconcerts. And a fourth breaks forth at once in all the splendour of agay equipage, under the title and denomination of a foreign count. Notto mention those inferior projectors, who assume the characters ofdancers, fencing-masters, and French ushers, or, by renouncing theirreligion, seek to obtain a provision for life. 

"Either of these parts will turn to the account of an able actor; and, asyou are equally qualified for all, you may choose that which is mostsuitable to your own inclination. Though, in my opinion, you wasdesigned by nature to shine in the great world, which, after all, is themost ample field for men of genius; because the game is deeper, andpeople of fashion being, for the most part, more ignorant, indolent, vain, and capricious, than their inferiors, are of consequence moreeasily deceived; besides, their morals sit generally so loose about them, that, when a gentleman of our fraternity is discovered in the exercise ofhis profession, their contempt of his skill is the only disgrace heincurs. "

Our hero was so well pleased with this picture, that he longed to perusethe original, and, before these two friends parted, they settled all theoperations of the campaign. Ratchcali, that same evening, hiredmagnificent lodgings for Count Fathom, in the court end of the town, andfurnished his wardrobe and liveries from the spoils of Monmouth Street;he likewise enlisted another footman and valet-de-chambre into hisservice, and sent to the apartments divers large trunks, supposed to befilled with the baggage of this foreign nobleman, though, in reality, they contained little else than common lumber. 

Next day, our adventurer took possession of his new habitation, afterhaving left to his friend and associate the task of dismissing theunfortunate Elenor, who was so shocked at the unexpected message, thatshe fainted away; and when she recovered the use of her senses so well asto reflect upon her forlorn condition, she was seized with the mostviolent transports of grief and dismay, by which her brain was disorderedto such a degree, that she grew furious and distracted, and was, by theadvice and assistance of the Tyrolese, conveyed into the hospital ofBethlem; where we shall leave her for the present, happily bereft of herreason. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

HE APPEARS IN THE GREAT WORLD WITH UNIVERSAL APPLAUSE AND ADMIRATION. 

Meanwhile, Fathom and his engine were busied in completing his equipage, so that in a few days he had procured a very gay chariot, adorned withpainting, gilding, and a coat of arms, according to his own fancy anddirection. The first use he made of this vehicle was that of visitingthe young nobleman from whom he had received such important civilities onthe road, in consequence of an invitation at parting, by which he learnedhis title and the place of his abode in London. 

His lordship was not only pleased, but proud to see such a stranger athis gate, and entertained him with excess of complaisance andhospitality; insomuch that, by his means, our hero soon became acquaintedwith the whole circle of polite company, by whom he was caressed for hisinsinuating manners and agreeable conversation. He had thought proper totell the nobleman, at their first interview in town, that his reasons forconcealing his knowledge of the English tongue were now removed, and thathe would no longer deny himself the pleasure of speaking a language whichhad been always music to his ear. He had also thanked his lordship forhis generous interposition at the inn, which was an instance of thatgenerosity and true politeness which are engrossed by the English people, who leave nought to other nations but the mere shadow of these virtues. 

A testimony like this, from the mouth of such a noble stranger, won theheart of the peer, who professed a friendship for him on the spot, andundertook to see justice done to his lacquey, who in a short time wasgratified with a share of the seizure which had been made upon hisinformation, amounting to fifty or sixty pounds. 

Ferdinand put not forth the whole strength of his accomplishments atonce, but contrived to spring a new mine of qualification every day, tothe surprise and admiration of all his acquaintance. He was gifted witha sort of elocution, much more specious than solid, and spoke on everysubject that occurred in conversation with that familiarity and ease, which, one would think, could only be acquired by long study andapplication. This plausibility and confidence are faculties reallyinherited from nature, and effectually serve the possessor, in lieu ofthat learning which is not to be obtained without infinite toil andperseverance. The most superficial tincture of the arts and sciences insuch a juggler, is sufficient to dazzle the understanding of halfmankind; and, if managed with circumspection, will enable him even tospend his life among the literati, without once forfeiting the characterof a connoisseur. 

Our hero was perfectly master of this legerdemain, which he carried tosuch a pitch of assurance, as to declare, in the midst of a mathematicalassembly, that he intended to gratify the public with a full confutationof Sir Isaac Newton's philosophy, to the nature of which he was as much astranger as the most savage Hottentot in Africa. His pretensions toprofound and universal knowledge were supported not only by this kind ofpresumption, but also by the facility with which he spoke so manydifferent languages, and the shrewd remarks he had made in the course ofhis travels and observation. 

Among politicians, he settled the balance of power upon a certainfooting, by dint of ingenious schemes, which he had contrived for thewelfare of Europe. With officers, he reformed the art of war, withimprovements which had occurred to his reflection while he was engaged ina military life. He sometimes held forth upon painting, like a member ofthe Dilettanti club. The theory of music was a theme upon which heseemed to expatiate with particular pleasure. In the provinces of loveand gallantry, he was a perfect Oroondates. He possessed a mostagreeable manner of telling entertaining stories, of which he had a largecollection; he sung with great melody and taste, and played upon theviolin with surprising execution. To these qualifications let us add hisaffability and pliant disposition, and then the reader will not wonderthat he was looked upon as the pattern of human perfection, and hisacquaintance courted accordingly. 

While he thus captivated the favour and affection of the Englishnobility, he did not neglect to take other measures in behalf of thepartnership to which he had subscribed. The adventure with the twosquires at Paris had weakened his appetite for play, which was not at allrestored by the observations he had made in London, where the art ofgaming is reduced into a regular system, and its professors so laudablydevoted to the discharge of their functions, as to observe the mosttemperate regimen, lest their invention should be impaired by the fatigueof watching or exercise, and their ideas disturbed by the fumes ofindigestion. No Indian Brachman could live more abstemious than two ofthe pack, who hunted in couple, and kennelled in the upper apartments ofthe hotel in which our adventurer lived. They abstained from animal foodwith the abhorrence of Pythagoreans, their drink was a pure simpleelement, they were vomited once a week, took physic or a glyster everythird day, spent the forenoon in algebraical calculations, and slept fromfour o'clock till midnight, that they might then take the field with thatcool serenity which is the effect of refreshment and repose. 

These were terms upon which our hero would not risk his fortune; he wastoo much addicted to pleasure to forego every other enjoyment but that ofamassing; and did not so much depend upon his dexterity in play as uponhis talent of insinuation, which, by this time, had succeeded so farbeyond his expectation, that he began to indulge the hope of enslavingthe heart of some rich heiress, whose fortune would at once raise himabove all dependence. Indeed, no man ever set out with a fairer prospecton such an expedition; for he had found means to render himself soagreeable to the fair sex, that, like the boxes of the playhouse, duringthe representation of a new performance, his company was often bespokefor a series of weeks; and no lady, whether widow, wife, or maiden, evermentioned his name, without some epithet of esteem or affection; such asthe dear Count! the charming Man! the Nonpareil, or the Angel!

While he thus shone in the zenith of admiration, it is not to be doubted, that he could have melted some wealthy dowager or opulent ward; but, being an enemy to all precipitate engagements, he resolved to act withgreat care and deliberation in an affair of such importance, especiallyas he did not find himself hurried by the importunities of want; for, since his arrival in England, he had rather increased than exhausted hisfinances, by methods equally certain and secure. In a word, he, with theassistance of Ratchcali, carried on a traffic, which yielded greatprofits, without subjecting the trader to the least loss orinconvenience. Fathom, for example, wore upon his finger a largebrilliant, which he played to such advantage one night, at a certainnobleman's house, where he was prevailed upon to entertain the companywith a solo on the violin, that everybody present took notice of itsuncommon lustre, and it was handed about for the perusal of everyindividual. The water and the workmanship were universally admired; andone among the rest having expressed a desire of knowing the value of sucha jewel, the Count seized that opportunity of entertaining them with alearned disquisition into the nature of stones; this introduced thehistory of the diamond in question, which he said had been purchased ofan Indian trader of Fort St. George, at an under price; so that thepresent proprietor could afford to sell it at a very reasonable rate; andconcluded with telling the company, that, for his own part, he had beenimportuned to wear it by the jeweller, who imagined it would have abetter chance for attracting a purchaser on his finger, than while itremained in his own custody. 

This declaration was no sooner made, than a certain lady of qualitybespoke the refuse of the jewel, and desired Ferdinand to send the ownernext day to her house, where he accordingly waited upon her ladyship withthe ring, for which he received one hundred and fifty guineas, two-thirdsof the sum being clear gain, and equally divided betwixt the associates. Nor was this bargain such as reflected dishonour upon the lady's taste, or could be productive of ill consequences to the merchant; for themethod of estimating diamonds is altogether arbitrary; and Ratchcali, whowas an exquisite lapidary, had set it in such a manner as would haveimposed upon any ordinary jeweller. By these means of introduction, theTyrolese soon monopolised the custom of a great many noble families, uponwhich he levied large contributions, without incurring the leastsuspicion of deceit. He every day, out of pure esteem and gratitude forthe honour of their commands, entertained them with the sight of some newtrinket, which he was never permitted to carry home unsold; and from theprofits of each job, a tax was raised for the benefit of our adventurer. 

Yet his indultos were not confined to the article of jewels, whichconstituted only one part of his revenue. By the industry of hisunderstrapper, he procured a number of old crazy fiddles, which werethrown aside as lumber; upon which he counterfeited the Cremona mark, andotherwise cooked them up with great dexterity; so that, when he hadoccasion to regale the lovers of music, he would send for one of thesevamped instruments, and extract from it such tones as quite ravished thehearers; among whom there was always some conceited pretender, who spokein raptures of the violin, and gave our hero an opportunity of launchingout in its praise, and declaring it was the best Cremona he had evertouched. This encomium never failed to inflame the desires of theaudience, to some one of whom he was generous enough to part with it atprime cost--that is, for twenty or thirty guineas clear profit; for hewas often able to oblige his friends in this manner, because, being aneminent connoisseur, his countenance was solicited by all the musicians, who wanted to dispose of such moveables. 

Nor did he neglect the other resources of a skilful virtuoso. Everyauction afforded some picture, in which, though it had been overlooked bythe ignorance of the times, he recognised the style of a great master, and made a merit of recommending it to some noble friend. This commercehe likewise extended to medals, bronzes, busts, intaglios, and old china, and kept divers artificers continually employed in making antiques forthe English nobility. Thus he went on with such rapidity of success inall his endeavours, that he himself was astonished at the infatuation hehad produced. Nothing was so wretched among the productions of art, thathe could not impose upon the world as a capital performance; and sofascinated were the eyes of his admirers, he could easily have persuadedthem that a barber's bason was an Etrurian patera, and the cover of acopper pot no other than the shield of Ancus Martius. In short, it wasbecome so fashionable to consult the Count in everything relating totaste and politeness, that not a plan was drawn, not even a housefurnished, without his advice and approbation; nay, to such a degree didhis reputation in these matters excel, that a particular pattern ofpaper-hangings was known by the name of Fathom; and his hall was everymorning crowded with upholsterers, and other tradesmen, who came, byorder of their employers, to learn his choice, and take his directions. 

The character and influence he thus acquired, he took care to maintainwith the utmost assiduity and circumspection. He never failed to appearthe chief personage at all public diversions and private assemblies, notonly in conversation and dress, but also in the article of dancing, inwhich he outstripped all his fellows, as far as in every other genteelaccomplishment. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

HE ATTRACTS THE ENVY AND ILL OFFICES OF THE MINOR KNIGHTS OF HIS OWNORDER, OVER WHOM HE OBTAINS A COMPLETE VICTORY. 

Such a pre-eminence could not be enjoyed without exciting the malevolenceof envy and detraction, in the propagation of which none were soindustrious as the brethren of his own order, who had, like him, made adescent upon this island, and could not, without repining, see the wholeharvest in the hands of one man, who, with equal art and discretion, avoided all intercourse with their society. In vain they strove todiscover his pedigree, and detect the particular circumstances of hislife and conversation; all their inquiries were baffled by the obscurityof his origin, and that solitary scheme which he had adopted in thebeginning of his career. The whole fruit of their investigation amountedto no more than a certainty that there was no family of any considerationin Europe known by the denomination of Fathom; and this discovery theydid not fail to divulge for the benefit of our adventurer, who had bythis time taken such firm root in the favour of the great, as to set allthose little arts at defiance; and when the report reached his ear, actually made his friends merry with the conjectures which had beencirculated at his expense. 

His adversaries, finding themselves disappointed in this effort, held aconsultation to devise other measures against him, and came to aresolution of ending him by the sword, or rather of expelling him fromthe kingdom by the fear of death, which they hoped he had not courageenough to resist, because his deportment had always been remarkably mildand pacific. It was upon this supposition that they left to thedetermination of the dice the choice of the person who should executetheir plan; and the lot falling upon a Swiss, who, from the station of afoot soldier in the Dutch service, out of which he had been drummed fortheft, had erected himself into the rank of a self-created chevalier, this hero fortified himself with a double dose of brandy, and betookhimself to a certain noted coffee-house, with an intent to affront CountFathom in public. 

He was lucky enough to find our adventurer sitting at a table inconversation with some persons of the first rank; upon which he seatedhimself in the next box, and after having intruded himself into theirdiscourse, which happened to turn upon the politics of some Germancourts, "Count, " said he to Ferdinand, in a very abrupt and disagreeablemanner of address, "I was last night in company with some gentlemen, among whom a dispute happened about the place of your nativity; pray, what country are you of?" "Sir, " answered the other, with greatpoliteness, "I at present have the honour to be of England. " "Oho!"replied the chevalier, "I ask your pardon, that is to say, you are incog;some people may find it convenient to keep themselves in that situation. ""True, " said the Count, "but some people are too well known to enjoy thatprivilege. " The Swiss being a little disconcerted at this repartee, which extracted a smile from the audience, after some pause, observed, that persons of a certain class had good reason to drop the remembranceof what they have been; but a good citizen will not forget his country, or former condition. "And a bad citizen, " said Fathom, "cannot, if hewould, provided he has met with his deserts; a sharper may as well forgetthe shape of a die, or a discarded soldier the sound of a drum. "

As the chevalier's character and story were not unknown, this applicationraised an universal laugh at his expense, which provoked him to such adegree, that, starting up, he swore Fathom could not have mentioned anyobject in nature that he himself resembled so much as a drum, which wasexactly typified by his emptiness and sound, with this difference, however, that a drum was never noisy till beaten, whereas the Count wouldnever be quiet, until he should have undergone the same discipline. Sosaying, he laid his hand upon his sword with a menacing look, and walkedout as if in expectation of being followed by our adventurer, whosuffered himself to be detained by the company, and very calmly tooknotice, that his antagonist would not be ill pleased at theirinterposition. Perhaps he would not have comported himself with suchease and deliberation, had not he made such remarks upon the dispositionof the chevalier, as convinced him of his own safety. He had perceived aperplexity and perturbation in the countenance of the Swiss, when hefirst entered the coffee-room; his blunt and precipitate way of accostinghim seemed to denote confusion and compulsion; and, in the midst of hisferocity, this accurate observer discerned the trepidation of fear. Bythe help of these signs, his sagacity soon comprehended the nature of hisschemes, and prepared accordingly for a formal defiance. 

His conjecture was verified next morning by a visit from the chevalier, who, taking it for granted that Fathom would not face an adversary in thefield, because he had not followed him from the coffee-house, went to hislodgings with great confidence, and demanded to see the Count upon anaffair that would admit of no delay. Maurice, according to hisinstructions, told him that his master was gone out, but desired he wouldhave the goodness to repose himself in the parlour, till the Count'sreturn, which he expected every moment. Ferdinand, who had taken post ina proper place for observation, seeing his antagonist fairly admitted, took the same road, and appearing before him, wrapped up in a longSpanish cloak, desired to know what had procured him the honour of suchan early visit. The Swiss, raising his voice to conceal his agitation, explained his errand, in demanding reparation for the injury his honourhad sustained the preceding day, in that odious allusion to a scandalousreport which had been raised by the malice of his enemies; and insisted, in a very imperious style, upon his attending him forthwith to thenursery in Hyde Park. "Have a little patience, " said our adventurer withgreat composure, "and I will do myself the pleasure to wait upon you in afew moments. "

With these words, he rang the bell, and, calling for a bason of water, laid aside his cloak, and displayed himself in his shirt, with a sword inhis right hand, which was all over besmeared with recent blood, as if hehad just come from the slaughter of a foe. This phenomenon made such animpression upon the astonished chevalier, already discomposed by theresolute behaviour of the Count, that he became jaundiced with terror anddismay, and, while his teeth chattered in his head, told our hero he hadhoped, from his known politeness, to have found him ready to acknowledgean injury which might have been the effect of anger or misapprehension, in which case the affair might have been compromised to their mutualsatisfaction, without proceeding to those extremities which, among men ofhonour, are always accounted the last resource. To this representationFerdinand answered, that the affair had been of the chevalier's ownseeking, inasmuch as he had intruded himself into his company, andtreated him with the most insolent and unprovoked abuse, which plainlyflowed from a premeditated design against his honour and reputation; he, therefore, far from being disposed to own himself in the wrong, would noteven accept of a public acknowledgment from him, the aggressor, whom helooked upon as an infamous sharper, and was resolved to chastiseaccordingly. 

Here the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a person who wasbrought to the door in a chair, and conducted into another apartment, from which a message was brought to the Count, importing, that thestranger desired to speak with him upon business of the last importance. Fathom having chid the servant for admitting people without his order, desired the Swiss to excuse him for a minute longer, and went in to thenext room, from whence the following dialogue was overheard by thischallenger:--"Count, " said the stranger, "you are not ignorant of mypretensions to the heart of that young lady, at whose house I met youyesterday; therefore you cannot be surprised when I declare myselfdispleased with your visits and behaviour to my mistress, and demand thatyou will instantly promise to drop the correspondence. " "Else whatfollows?" answered Ferdinand, with a cool and temperate voice. "Myresentment and immediate defiance, " replied the other; "for the onlyalternative I propose is, to forego your design upon that lady, or todecide our pretension by the sword. "

Our hero, having expressed a regard for this visitant as the son of agentleman whom he honoured, was at the pains to represent theunreasonableness of his demand, and the folly of his presumption; andearnestly exhorted him to put the issue of his cause upon a more safe andequitable footing. But this admonition, instead of appeasing the wrath, seemed to inflame the resentment of the opponent, who swore he would notleave him until he should have accomplished the purport of his errand. In vain our adventurer requested half an hour for the despatch of someurgent business, in which he was engaged with a gentleman in the otherparlour. This impetuous rival rejected all the terms he could propose, and even challenged him to decide the controversy upon the spot; anexpedient to which the other having assented with reluctance, the doorwas secured, the swords unsheathed, and a hot engagement ensued, to theinexpressible pleasure of the Swiss, who did not doubt that he himselfwould be screened from all danger by the event of this rencontre. Nevertheless, his hope was disappointed in the defeat of the stranger, who was quickly disarmed, in consequence of a wound through thesword-arm; upon which occasion Fathom was heard to say, that, inconsideration of his youth and family, he had spared his life; but hewould not act with the same tenderness towards any other antagonist. Hethen bound up the limb he had disabled, conducted the vanquished party tohis chair, rejoined the chevalier with a serene countenance, and, askingpardon for having detained him so long, proposed they should instantlyset out in a hackney-coach for the place of appointment. 

The stratagem thus conducted, had all the success the inventor coulddesire. The fear of the Swiss had risen almost to an ecstasy before theCount quitted the room; but after this sham battle, which had beenpreconcerted betwixt our adventurer and his friend Ratchcali, thechevalier's terrors were unspeakable. He considered Fathom as a devilincarnate, and went into the coach as a malefactor bound for Tyburn. Hewould have gladly compounded for the loss of a leg or arm, andentertained some transient gleams of hope, that he should escape for halfa dozen flesh-wounds, which he would have willingly received as the priceof his presumption; but these hopes were banished by the remembrance ofthat dreadful declaration which he had heard the Count make, after havingovercome his last adversary; and he continued under the power of the mostunsupportable panic, until the carriage halted at Hyde Park Corner, wherehe crawled forth in a most piteous and lamentable condition; so that, when they reached the spot, he was scarce able to stand. 

Here he made an effort to speak, and propose an accommodation upon a newplan, by which he promised to leave his cause to the arbitrement of thosegentlemen who were present at the rupture, and to ask pardon of theCount, provided he should be found guilty of a trespass upon goodmanners; but this proposal would not satisfy the implacable Ferdinand, who, perceiving the agony of the Swiss, resolved to make the most of theadventure, and giving him to understand he was not a man to be trifledwith, desired him to draw without further preamble. Thus compelled, theunfortunate gamester pulled off his coat, and, putting himself in aposture, to use the words of Nym, "winked, and held out his cold iron. "

Our adventurer, far from making a gentle use of the advantages hepossessed, fiercely attacked him, while he was incapable of makingresistance, and, aiming at a fleshy part, ran him through the arm andoutside of the shoulder at the very first pass. The chevalier, alreadystupefied with the horror of expectation, no sooner felt his adversary'spoint in his body than he fell to the ground, and, concluding he was nolonger a man for this world, began to cross himself with great devotion;while Fathom walked home deliberately, and in his way sent a couple ofchairmen to the assistance of the wounded knight. 

This achievement, which could not be concealed from the knowledge of thepublic, not only furnished the character of Fathom with fresh wreaths ofadmiration and applause, but likewise effectually secured him from anyfuture attempts of his enemies, to whom the Swiss, for his own sake, hadcommunicated such terrible ideas of his valour, as overawed the wholecommunity. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

HE PERFORMS ANOTHER EXPLOIT, THAT CONVEYS A TRUE IDEA OF HIS GRATITUDEAND HONOUR. 

It was not long after this celebrated victory, that he was invited tospend part of the summer at the house of a country gentleman, who livedabout one hundred miles from London, possessed of a very opulent fortune, the greatest part of which was expended in acts of old Englishhospitality. He had met with our hero by accident at the table of acertain great man, and was so struck with his manner and conversation, asto desire his acquaintance, and cultivate his friendship; and he thoughthimself extremely happy in having prevailed upon him to pass a few weeksin his family. 

Fathom, among his other observations, perceived that there was a domesticuneasiness, occasioned by a very beautiful young creature about the ageof fifteen, who resided in the house under the title of the gentleman'sniece, though she was in reality his natural daughter, born before hismarriage. This circumstance was not unknown to his lady, by whoseexpress approbation he had bestowed particular attention upon theeducation of the child, whom we shall distinguish by the name of Celinda. Their liberality in this particular had not been misapplied; for she notonly gave marks of uncommon capacity, but, as she grew up, became moreand more amiable in her person, and was now returned from the boardingschool, possessed of every accomplishment that could be acquired by oneof her age and opportunities. These qualifications, which endeared herto every other person, excited the jealousy and displeasure of hersupposed aunt, who could not bear to see her own children eclipsed bythis illegitimate daughter, whom she therefore discountenanced upon alloccasions, and exposed to such mortifications as would in all appearancedrive her from her father's house. This persecuting spirit was verydisagreeable to the husband, who loved Celinda with a truly paternalaffection, and produced abundance of family disquiet; but being a man ofa peaceable and yielding disposition, he could not long maintain theresolution he had taken in her favour, and therefore he ceased opposingthe malevolence of his wife. 

In this unfortunate predicament stood the fair bastard, at the arrival ofour adventurer, who, being allured by her charms, apprised of hersituation at the same time, took the generous resolution to undermine herinnocence, that he might banquet his vicious appetite with the spoils ofher beauty. Perhaps such a brutal design might not have entered hisimagination, if he had not observed, in the disposition of this haplessmaiden, certain peculiarities from which he derived the most confidentpresages of success. Besides a total want of experience, that left heropen and unguarded against the attacks of the other sex, she discovered aremarkable spirit of credulity and superstitious fear, which had beencherished by the conversation of her school-fellows. She wasparticularly fond of music, in which she had made some progress; but sodelicate was the texture of her nerves, that one day, while Fathomentertained the company with a favourite air, she actually swooned withpleasure. 

Such sensibility, our projector well knew, must be diffused through allthe passions of her heart; he congratulated himself upon the sureascendency he had gained over her in this particular; and forthwith beganto execute the plan he had erected for her destruction. That he mightthe more effectually deceive the vigilance of her father's wife, he threwsuch a dash of affectation in his complaisance towards Celinda, as couldnot escape the notice of that prying matron, though it was not palpableenough to disoblige the young lady herself, who could not so welldistinguish between overstrained courtesy and real good breeding. Thisbehaviour screened him from the suspicion of the family, who consideredit as an effort of politeness, to cover his indifference and disgust forthe daughter of his friend, who had by this time given some reason tobelieve she looked upon him with the eyes of affection; so that theopportunities he enjoyed of conversing with her in private, were lessliable to intrusion or inquiry. Indeed, from what I have alreadyobserved, touching the sentiments of her stepdame, that lady, far fromtaking measures for thwarting our hero's design, would have rejoiced atthe execution of it, and, had she been informed of his intent, might havefallen upon some method to facilitate the enterprise; but, as he solelydepended upon his own talents, he never dreamed of soliciting such anauxiliary. 

Under cover of instructing and accomplishing her in the exercise ofmusic, he could not want occasions for promoting his aim; when, afterhaving soothed her sense of hearing, even to a degree of ravishment, soas to extort from her an exclamation, importing, that he was surelysomething supernatural! he never failed to whisper some insidiouscompliment or tale of love, exquisitely suited to the emotions of hersoul. Thus was her heart insensibly subdued; though more than half hiswork was still undone; for, at all times, she disclosed such purity ofsentiment, such inviolable attachment to religion and virtue, and seemedso averse to all sorts of inflammatory discourse, that he durst notpresume upon the footing he had gained in her affection, to explain thebaseness of his desire; he therefore applied to another of her passions, that proved the bane of her virtue. This was her timidity, which atfirst being constitutional, was afterwards increased by the circumstancesof her education, and now aggravated by the artful conversation ofFathom, which he chequered with dismal stories of omens, portents, prophecies, and apparitions, delivered upon such unquestionabletestimony, and with such marks of conviction, as captivated the belief ofthe devoted Celinda, and filled her imagination with unceasing terrors. 

In vain she strove to dispel those frightful ideas, and avoid such topicsof discourse for the future. The more she endeavoured to banish them, the more troublesome they became; and such was her infatuation, that asher terrors increased, her thirst after that sort of knowledge wasaugmented. Many sleepless nights did she pass amidst those horrors offancy, starting at every noise, and sweating with dreary apprehension, yet ashamed to own her fears, or solicit the comfort of a bedfellow, lestshe should incur the ridicule and censure of her father's wife; and whatrendered this disposition the more irksome, was the solitary situation ofher chamber, that stood at the end of a long gallery scarce withinhearing of any other inhabited part of the house. 

All these circumstances had been duly weighed by our projector, who, having prepared Celinda for his purpose, stole at midnight from hisapartment, which was in another storey, and approaching her door, thereuttered a piteous groan; then softly retired to his bed, in fullconfidence of seeing next day the effect of this operation. Nor did hisarrow miss the mark. Poor Celinda's countenance gave such indications ofmelancholy and dismay, that he could not omit asking the cause of herdisquiet, and she, at his earnest request, was prevailed upon tocommunicate the dreadful salutation of the preceding night, which sheconsidered as an omen of death to some person of the family, in allprobability to herself, as the groan seemed to issue from one corner ofher own apartment. Our adventurer argued against this supposition, ascontradictory to the common observation of those supernatural warningswhich are not usually imparted to the person who is doomed to die, but tosome faithful friend, or trusty servant, particularly interested in theevent. He therefore supposed, that the groans foreboded the death of mylady, who seemed to be in a drooping state of health, and were, by hergenius, conveyed to the organs of Celinda, who was the chief sufferer byher jealous and barbarous disposition; he likewise expressed an earnestdesire to be an ear-witness of such solemn communication, and, allegingthat it was highly improper for a young lady of her delicate feelings toexpose herself alone to such another dismal visitation, begged he mightbe allowed to watch all night in her chamber, in order to defend her fromthe shocking impressions of fear. 

Though no person ever stood more in need of a companion or guard, and herheart throbbed with transports of dismay at the prospect of night, sherejected his proposal with due acknowledgment, and resolved to trustsolely to the protection of Heaven. Not that she thought her innocenceor reputation could suffer by her compliance with his request; for, hitherto, her heart was a stranger to those young desires which haunt thefancy, and warm the breast of youth; so that, being ignorant of herdanger, she saw not the necessity of avoiding temptation; but she refusedto admit a man into her bedchamber, merely because it was a stepaltogether opposite to the forms and decorum of life. Nevertheless, farfrom being discouraged by this repulse, he knew her fears would multiplyand reduce that reluctance, which, in order to weaken, he had recourse toanother piece of machinery, that operated powerfully in behalf of hisdesign. 

Some years ago, a twelve-stringed instrument was contrived by a veryingenious musician, by whom it was aptly entitled the "Harp of Aeolus, "because, being properly applied to a stream of air, it produces a wildirregular variety of harmonious sounds, that seem to be the effect ofenchantment, and wonderfully dispose the mind for the most romanticsituations. Fathom, who was really a virtuoso in music, had brought oneof those new-fashioned guitars into the country, and as the effect of itwas still unknown in the family, he that night converted it to thepurposes of his amour, by fixing it in the casement of a window belongingto the gallery, exposed to the west wind, which then blew in a gentlebreeze. The strings no sooner felt the impression of the balmy zephyr, than they began to pour forth a stream of melody more ravishinglydelightful than the song of Philomel, the warbling brook, and all theconcert of the wood. The soft and tender notes of peace and love wereswelled up with the most delicate and insensible transition into a loudhymn of triumph and exultation, joined by the deep-toned organ, and afull choir of voices, which gradually decayed upon the ear, until it diedaway in distant sound, as if a flight of angels had raised the song intheir ascent to heaven. Yet the chords hardly ceased to vibrate afterthe expiration of this overture, which ushered in a composition in thesame pathetic style; and this again was succeeded by a third, almostwithout pause or intermission, as if the artist's hand had beenindefatigable, and the theme never to be exhausted. 

His heart must be quite callous, and his ear lost to all distinction, whocould hear such harmony without emotion; how deeply, then, must it haveaffected the delicate Celinda, whose sensations, naturally acute, werewhetted to a most painful keenness by her apprehension; who could have noprevious idea of such entertainment, and was credulous enough to believethe most improbable tale of superstition! She was overwhelmed with awfulterror, and, never doubting that the sounds were more than mortal, recommended herself to the care of Providence in a succession of piousejaculations. 

Our adventurer, having allowed some time for the effect of thiscontrivance, repaired to her chamber door, and, in a whisper, conveyedthrough the keyhole, asked if she was awake, begged pardon for such anunseasonable visit, and desired to know her opinion of the strange musicwhich he then heard. In spite of her notions of decency, she was glad ofhis intrusion, and, being in no condition to observe punctilios, slippedon a wrapper, opened the door, and, with a faltering voice, owned herselffrightened almost to distraction. He pretended to console her withreflections, importing, that she was in the hands of a benevolent Being, who would not impose upon his creatures any task which they could notbear; he insisted upon her returning to bed, and assured her he would notstir from her chamber till day. Thus comforted, she betook herself againto rest, while he sat down in an elbow-chair at some distance from thebedside, and, in a soft voice, began the conversation with her on thesubject of those visitations from above, which, though undertaken onpretence of dissipating her fear and anxiety, was, in reality, calculatedfor the purpose of augmenting both. 

"That sweet air, " said he, "seems designed for soothing the bodilyanguish of some saint in his last moments. Hark! how it rises into amore sprightly and elevated strain, as if it were an inspiritinginvitation to the realms of bliss! Sure, he is now absolved from all themisery of this life! That full and glorious concert of voices andcelestial harps betoken his reception among the heavenly choir, who nowwaft his soul to paradisian joys! This is altogether great, solemn, andamazing! The clock strikes one, the symphony hath ceased!"

This was actually the case; for he had ordered Maurice to remove theinstrument at that hour, lest the sound of it should become too familiar, and excite the curiosity of some undaunted domestic, who might frustratehis scheme by discovering the apparatus. As for poor Celinda, her fancywas, by his music and discourse, worked up to the highest pitch ofenthusiastic terrors; the whole bed shook with her trepidation, the awfulsilence that succeeded the supernatural music threw an additional dampupon her spirits, and the artful Fathom affecting to snore at the sametime, she could no longer contain her horror, but called upon his namewith a fearful accent, and, having owned her present situationinsupportable, entreated him to draw near her bedside, that he might bewithin touch on any emergency. 

This was a welcome request to our adventurer, who, asking pardon for hisdrowsiness, and taking his station on the side of her bed, exhorted herto compose herself; then locking her hand fast in his own, was againseized with such an inclination to sleep, that he gradually sunk down byher side, and seemed to enjoy his repose in that attitude. Meanwhile, his tender-hearted mistress, that he might not suffer in his health byhis humanity and complaisance, covered him with the counterpane as heslept, and suffered him to take his rest without interruption, till hethought proper to start up suddenly with an exclamation of, "Heaven watchover us!" and then asked, with symptoms of astonishment, if she had heardnothing. Such an abrupt address upon such an occasion, did not fail toamaze and affright the gentle Celinda, who, unable to speak, sprungtowards her treacherous protector; and he, catching her in his arms, badeher fear nothing, for he would, at the expense of his life, defend herfrom all danger. 

Having thus, by tampering with her weakness, conquered the first andchief obstacles to his design, he, with great art and perseverance, improved the intercourse to such a degree of intimacy, as could not butbe productive of all the consequences which he had foreseen. The groansand music were occasionally repeated, so as to alarm the whole family, and inspire a thousand various conjectures. He failed not to continuehis nocturnal visits and ghastly discourse, until his attendance becameso necessary to this unhappy maiden, that she durst not stay in her ownchamber without his company, nor even sleep, except in contact with herbetrayer. 

Such a commerce between two such persons of a different sex could notpossibly be long carried on, without degenerating from the Platonicsystem of sentimental love. In her paroxysms of dismay, he did notforget to breathe the soft inspirations of his passion, to which shelistened with more pleasure, as they diverted the gloomy ideas of herfear; and by this time his extraordinary accomplishments had made aconquest of her heart. What therefore could be a more interestingtransition than that from the most uneasy to the most agreeable sensationof the human breast?

This being the case, the reader will not wonder that a consummatetraitor, like Fathom, should triumph over the virtue of an artless, innocent young creature, whose passions he had entirely under hiscommand. The gradations towards vice are almost imperceptible, and anexperienced seducer can strew them with such enticing and agreeableflowers, as will lead the young sinner on insensibly, even to the mostprofligate stages of guilt. All therefore that can be done by virtue, unassisted with experience, is to avoid every trial with such aformidable foe, by declining and discouraging the first advances towardsa particular correspondence with perfidious man, howsoever agreeable itmay seem to be. For here is no security but in conscious weakness. 

Fathom, though possessed of the spoils of poor Celinda's honour, did notenjoy his success with tranquillity. Reflection and remorse ofteninvaded her in the midst of their guilty pleasures, and embittered allthose moments they had dedicated to mutual bliss. For the seeds ofvirtue are seldom destroyed at once. Even amidst the rank productions ofvice, they regerminate to a sort of imperfect vegetation, like somescattered hyacinths shooting up among the weeds of a ruined garden, thattestify the former culture and amenity of the soil. She sighed at thesad remembrance of that virgin dignity which she had lost; she wept atthe prospect of that disgrace, mortification, and misery she shouldundergo, when abandoned by this transient lover, and severely reproachedhim for the arts he had used to shipwreck her innocence and peace. 

Such expostulations are extremely unseasonable, when addressed to a manwell-nigh sated with the effects of his conquest. They act like strongblasts of wind applied to embers almost extinguished, which, instead ofreviving the flame, scatter and destroy every remaining particle of fire. Our adventurer, in the midst of his peculiarities, had inconstancy incommon with the rest of his sex. More than half cloyed with thepossession of Celinda, he could not fail to be disgusted with herupbraidings; and had she not been the daughter of a gentleman whosefriendship he did not think it his interest to forfeit, he would havedropped this correspondence, without reluctance or hesitation. But, ashe had measures to keep with a family of such consequence, he constrainedhis inclinations, so far as to counterfeit those raptures he no longerfelt, and found means to appease those intervening tumults of her grief. 

Foreseeing, however, that it would not be always in his power to consoleher on these terms, he resolved, if possible, to divide her affection, which now glowed upon him too intensely; and, with that view, whenevershe complained of the vapours or dejection, he prescribed, and eveninsisted upon her swallowing certain cordials of the most palatablecomposition, without which he never travelled; and these produced suchagreeable reveries and flow of spirits, that she gradually becameenamoured of intoxication; while he encouraged the pernicious passion, byexpressing the most extravagant applause and admiration at the wildirregular sallies it produced. Without having first made this diversion, he would have found it impracticable to leave the house withtranquillity; but, when this bewitching philtre grew into an habit, herattachment to Ferdinand was insensibly dissolved; she began to bear hisneglect with indifference, and, sequestering herself from the rest of thefamily, used to solicit this new ally for consolation. 

Having thus put the finishing stroke to the daughter's ruin, he tookleave of the father, with many acknowledgments and expressions ofgratitude for his hospitality and friendship, and, riding across thecountry to Bristol, took up his habitation near the hot well, where hestayed during the remaining part of the season. As for the miserableCelinda, she became more and more addicted to the vices in which she hadbeen initiated by his superlative perfidy and craft, until she was quiteabandoned by decency and caution. Her father's heart was torn withanguish, while his wife rejoiced in her fall; at length her ideas werequite debased by her infirmity; she grew every day more and more sensualand degenerate, and contracted an intimacy with one of the footmen, whowas kind enough to take her to wife, in hope of obtaining a goodsettlement from his master; but, being disappointed in his aim, heconducted her to London, where he made shift to insinuate himself intoanother service, leaving her to the use, and partly the advantage, of herown person, which was still uncommonly attractive. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

HE REPAIRS TO BRISTOL SPRING, WHERE HE REIGNS PARAMOUNT DURING THE WHOLESEASON. 

We shall therefore leave her in this comfortable situation, and return toour adventurer, whose appearance at Bristol was considered as a happyomen by the proprietor of the hot well, and all the people who live bythe resort of company to that celebrated spring. Nor were they deceivedin their prognostic. Fathom, as usual, formed the nucleus or kernel ofthe beau monde; and the season soon became so crowded, that many peopleof fashion were obliged to quit the place for want of lodging. Ferdinandwas the soul that animated the whole society. He not only inventedparties of pleasure, but also, by his personal talents, rendered themmore agreeable. In a word, he regulated their diversions, and the masterof the ceremonies never would allow the ball to be begun till the Countwas seated. 

Having thus made himself the object of admiration and esteem, his advicewas an oracle, to which they had recourse in all doubtful cases ofpunctilio or dispute, or even of medicine; for among his otheraccomplishments, his discourse on that subject was so plausible, and welladapted to the understanding of his hearers, that any person who had notactually studied the medical art would have believed he was inspired bythe spirit of Aesculapius. What contributed to the aggrandisement of hischaracter in this branch of knowledge, was a victory he obtained over anold physician, who plied at the well, and had one day unfortunately begunto harangue in the pump-room upon the nature of the Bristol water. Inthe course of this lecture he undertook to account for the warmth of thefluid; and his ideas being perplexed with a great deal of reading, whichhe had not been able to digest, his disquisition was so indistinct, andhis expression so obscure and unentertaining, that our hero seized theopportunity of displaying his own erudition, by venturing to contradictsome circumstances of the doctor's hypothesis, and substituting a theoryof his own, which, as he had invented it for the purpose, was equallyamusing and chimerical. 

He alleged, that fire was the sole vivifying principle that pervaded allnature; that, as the heat of the sun concocted the juice of vegetables, and ripened those fruits that grow upon the surface of this globe, therewas likewise an immense store of central fire reserved within the bowelsof the earth, not only for the generation of gems, fossils, and all thepurposes of the mineral world, but likewise for cherishing and keepingalive those plants which would otherwise perish by the winter's cold. The existence of such a fire he proved from the nature of all thosevolcanoes, which in almost every corner of the earth are continuallyvomiting up either flames or smoke. "These, " said he, "are the greatvents appointed by nature for the discharge of that rarefied air andcombustible matter, which, if confined, would burst the globe asunder;but, besides the larger outlets, there are some small chimneys throughwhich part of the heat transpires; a vapour of that sort, I conceive, must pass through the bed or channel of this spring, the waters of which, accordingly retain a moderate warmth. "

This account, which totally overthrew the other's doctrine, was soextremely agreeable to the audience, that the testy doctor lost histemper, and gave them to understand, without preamble, that he must be aperson wholly ignorant of natural philosophy, who could invent such aridiculous system, and they involved in worse than an Egyptian fog, thatcould not at once discern its weakness and absurdity. This declarationintroduced a dispute, which was unanimously determined in favour of ouradventurer. On all such occasions the stream of prejudice runs againstthe physician, even though his antagonist has nothing to recommendhimself to the favour of the spectators; and this decision depends upondivers considerations. In the first place, there is a continual warcarried on against the learned professions, by all those who, consciousof their own ignorance, seek to level the reputation of their superiorswith their own. Secondly, in all disputes upon physic that happenbetwixt a person who really understands the art, and an illiteratepretender, the arguments of the first will seem obscure andunintelligible to those who are unacquainted with the previous systems onwhich they are built; while the other's theory, derived from commonnotions, and superficial observation, will be more agreeable, becausebetter adapted to the comprehension of the hearers. Thirdly, thejudgment of the multitude is apt to be biassed by that surprise which isthe effect of seeing an artist foiled at his own weapons, by one whoengages him only for amusement. 

Fathom, besides these advantages, was blessed with a flow of language, anelegant address, a polite and self-denying style of argumentation, together with a temper not to be ruffled; so that the victory could notlong waver between him and the physician, to whom he was infinitelysuperior in every acquisition but that of solid learning, of which thejudges had no idea. This contest was not only glorious but profitable toour adventurer, who grew into such request in his medical capacity, thatthe poor doctor was utterly deserted by his patients, and Fathom's advicesolicited by every valetudinarian in the place; nor did he forfeit thecharacter he thus acquired by any miscarriages in his practice. Beingbut little conversant with the materia medica, the circle of hisprescriptions was very small; his chief study was to avoid all drugs ofrough operation and uncertain effect, and to administer such only asshould be agreeable to the palate, without doing violence to theconstitution. Such a physician could not but be agreeable to people ofall dispositions; and, as most of the patients were in some shapehypochondriac, the power of imagination, co-operating with his remedies, often effected a cure. 

On the whole, it became the fashion to consult the Count in alldistempers, and his reputation would have had its run, though the deathof every patient had given the lie to his pretensions. But empty famewas not the sole fruit of his success. Though no person would presume toaffront this noble graduate with a fee, they did not fail to manifesttheir gratitude by some more valuable present. Every day some superbpiece of china, curious snuffbox, or jewel, was pressed upon him; sothat, at the end of the season, he could almost have furnished a toyshopwith the acknowledgments he had received. Not only his avarice, but hispleasure, was gratified in the course of his medical administration. Heenjoyed free access, egress, and regress with all the females at thewell, and no matron scrupled to put her daughter under his care anddirection. These opportunities could not be lost upon a man of hisintriguing genius; though he conducted his amours with such discretion, that, during the whole season, no lady's character suffered on hisaccount, yet he was highly fortunate in his addresses, and we may ventureto affirm, that the reproach of barrenness was more than once removed bythe vigour of his endeavours. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

HE IS SMITTEN WITH THE CHARMS OF A FEMALE ADVENTURER, WHOSE ALLUREMENTSSUBJECT HIM TO A NEW VICISSITUDE OF FORTUNE. 

Among those who were distinguished by his gallantry was the young wife ofan old citizen of London, who had granted her permission to reside at thehot well for the benefit of her health, under the eye and inspection ofhis own sister, who was a maiden of fifty years. The pupil, whose namewas Mrs. Trapwell, though low in stature, was finely shaped, hercountenance engaging, though her complexion was brown, her hair in colourrivalled the raven's back, and her eyes emulated the lustre of thediamond. Fathom had been struck with her first appearance; but found itimpracticable to elude the vigilance of her duenna, so as to make adeclaration of his flame; until she herself, guessing the situation ofhis thoughts, and not displeased with the discovery, thought proper tofurnish him with the opportunity he wanted, by counterfeiting anindisposition, for the cure of which she knew his advice would beimplored. This was the beginning of an acquaintance, which was soonimproved to his wish; and so well did she manage her attractions, as insome measure to fix the inconstancy of his disposition; for, at the endof the season, his passion was not sated; and they concerted the means ofcontinuing their commerce, even after their return to London. 

This intercourse effectually answered the purpose of the husband, who hadbeen decoyed into matrimony by the cunning of his spouse, whom he hadprivately kept as a concubine before marriage. Conscious of her ownprecarious situation, she had resolved to impose upon the infirmities ofTrapwell, and, feigning herself pregnant, gave him to understand shecould no longer conceal her condition from the knowledge of her brother, who was an officer in the army, and of such violent passions, that, should he once discover her backsliding, he would undoubtedly wipe awaythe stains of his family dishonour with her own blood, as well as that ofher keeper. The citizen, to prevent such a catastrophe, took her towife; but soon after perceiving the trick which had been played upon him, set his invention at work, and at length contrived a scheme which hethought would enable him, not only to retrieve his liberty, but alsoindemnify himself for the mortification he had undergone. 

Far from creating any domestic disturbance, by upbraiding her with herfinesse, he seemed perfectly well pleased with his acquisition; and, ashe knew her void of any principle, and extremely addicted to pleasure, hechose proper occasions to insinuate, that she might gratify her owninclination, and at the same time turn her beauty to good account. Shejoyfully listened to these remonstrances, and, in consequence of theirmutual agreement, she repaired to Bristol Spring, on pretence of an illstate of health, accompanied by her sister-in-law, whom they did notthink proper to intrust with the real motive of her journey. Fathom'sperson was agreeable, and his finances supposed to be in flourishingorder; therefore, she selected him from the herd of gallants, as a propersacrifice to the powers which she adored; and, on her arrival in London, made her husband acquainted with the importance of her conquest. 

Trapwell overwhelmed her with caresses and praise for her discreet anddutiful conduct, and faithfully promised that she should pocket in herown privy purse one-half of the spoils that should be gathered from hergallant, whom she therefore undertook to betray, after he had swore, inthe most solemn manner, that his intention was not to bring the affair toa public trial, which would redound to his own disgrace, but to extort around sum of money from the Count, by way of composition. Confiding inthis protestation, she in a few days gave him intelligence of anassignation she had made with our adventurer, at a certain bagnio nearCovent Garden; upon which he secured the assistance of a particularfriend and his own journeyman, with whom, and a constable, he repaired tothe place of rendezvous, where he waited in an adjoining room, accordingto the directions of his virtuous spouse, until she made the preconcertedsignal of hemming three times aloud, when he and his associates rushedinto the chamber and surprised our hero in bed with his inamorata. 

The lady on this occasion acted her part to a miracle; she screamed attheir approach; and, after an exclamation of "Ruined and undone!"fainted away in the arms of her spouse, who had by this time seized herby the shoulders, and begun to upbraid her with her infidelity and guilt. As for Fathom, his affliction was unutterable, when he found himselfdiscovered in that situation, and made prisoner by the two assistants, who had pinioned him in such a manner, that he could not stir, much lessaccomplish an escape. All his ingenuity and presence of mind seemed toforsake him in this emergency. The horrors of an English jury overspreadhis imagination; for he at once perceived that the toil into which he hadfallen was laid for the purpose; consequently he took it for granted thatthere would be no deficiency in point of evidence. Soon as herecollected himself, he begged that no violence might be offered to hisperson, and entreated the husband to favour him with a conference, inwhich the affair might be compromised, without prejudice to thereputation of either. 

At first Trapwell breathed nothing but implacable revenge, but, by thepersuasion of his friends, after he had sent home his wife in a chair, hewas prevailed upon to hear the proposals of the delinquent, who havingassured him, by way of apology, that he had always believed the lady wasa widow, made him an offer of five hundred pounds, as an atonement forthe injury he had sustained. This being a sum no ways adequate to theexpectation of the citizen, who looked upon the Count as possessor of animmense estate, he rejected the terms with disdain, and made instantapplication to a judge, from whom he obtained a warrant for securing hisperson till the day of trial. Indeed, in this case, money was but asecondary consideration with Trapwell, whose chief aim was to be legallydivorced from a woman he detested. Therefore there was no remedy for theunhappy Count, who in vain offered to double the sum. He found himselfreduced to the bitter alternative of procuring immediate bail, or goingdirectly to Newgate. 

In this dilemma he sent a messenger to his friend Ratchcali, whosecountenance fell when he understood the Count's condition; nor would heopen his mouth in the style of consolation, until he had consulted acertain solicitor of his acquaintance, who assured him the law aboundedwith such resources as would infallibly screen the defendant, had thefact been still more palpable than it was. He said there was greatpresumption to believe the Count had fallen a sacrifice to a conspiracy, which by some means or other would be detected; and, in that case, theplaintiff might obtain one shilling in lieu of damages. If thatdependence should fail, he hinted that, in all probability, the witnesseswere not incorruptible; or, should they prove to be so, one man's oathwas as good as another's; and, thank Heaven, there was no dearth ofevidence, provided money could be found to answer the necessaryoccasions. 

Ratchcali, comforted by these insinuations, and dreading the resentmentof our adventurer, who, in his despair, might punish him severely for hiswant of friendship, by some precipitate explanation of the commerce theyhad carried on; moved, I say, by these considerations, and moreovertempted with the prospect of continuing to reap the advantages resultingfrom their conjunction, he and another person of credit with whom helargely dealt in jewels, condescended to become sureties for theappearance of Fathom, who was accordingly admitted to bail. Not but thatthe Tyrolese knew Ferdinand too well to confide in his parole. Hedepended chiefly upon his ideas of self-interest, which, he thought, would persuade him to risk the uncertain issue of a trial, rather thanquit the field before the harvest was half over; and he was resolved tomake his own retreat without ceremony, should our hero be unwise enoughto abandon his bail. 

Such an adventure could not long lie concealed from the notice of thepublic, even if both parties had been at pains to suppress thecircumstances. But the plaintiff, far from seeking to cover, affected tocomplain loudly of his misfortune, that he might interest his neighboursin his behalf, and raise a spirit of rancour and animosity, to influencethe jury against this insolent foreigner, who had come over into Englandto debauch our wives and deflower our daughters; while he employed aformidable band of lawyers to support the indictment, which he laid atten thousand pounds damages. 

Meanwhile, Fathom and his associate did not fail to take all propermeasures for his defence; they retained a powerful bar of counsel, andthe solicitor was supplied with one hundred pounds after another, toanswer the expense of secret service; still assuring his clients thateverything was in an excellent train, and that his adversary would gainnothing but shame and confusion of face. Nevertheless, there was anecessity for postponing the trial, on account of a material evidence, who, though he wavered, was not yet quite brought over; and the attorneyfound means to put off the decision from term to term, until there was noquibble left for further delay. While this suit was depending, our herocontinued to move in his usual sphere; nor did the report of hissituation at all operate to his disadvantage in the polite world; on thecontrary, it added a fresh plume to his character, in the eyes of allthose who were not before acquainted with the triumphs of his gallantry. Notwithstanding this countenance of his friends, he himself consideredthe affair in a very serious light; and perceiving that, at any rate, hemust be a considerable loser, he resolved to double his assiduity intrade, that he might be the more able to afford the extraordinary expenseto which he was subjected. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

FRESH CAUSE FOR EXERTING HIS EQUANIMITY AND FORTITUDE. 

The reader may have observed, that Fathom, with all his circumspection, had a weak side, which exposed him to sundry mischances; this was hiscovetousness, which on some occasions became too hard for his discretion. At this period of time it was, by the circumstances of his situation, inflamed to a degree of rapacity. He was now prevailed upon to take ahand at whist or piquet, and even to wield the hazard-box; though he hadhitherto declared himself an irreconcilable enemy to all sorts of play;and so uncommon was his success and dexterity at these exercises, as tosurprise his acquaintance, and arouse the suspicion of some people, whorepined at his prosperity. 

But in nothing was his conduct more inexcusable than in giving way to thedangerous temerity of Ratchcali, which he had been always at pains torestrain, and permitting him to practise the same fraud upon an Englishnobleman, which had been executed upon himself at Frankfort. In otherwords, the Tyrolese, by the canal of Ferdinand's finger andrecommendation, sold a pebble for a real brilliant, and in a few days thecheat was discovered, to the infinite confusion of our adventurer, whonevertheless assumed the guise of innocence with so much art, andexpressed such indignation against the villain who had imposed upon hisjudgment and unsuspecting generosity, that his lordship acquitted him ofany share in the deceit, and contented himself with the restitution, which he insisted upon making out of his own pocket, until he should beable to apprehend the rogue, who had thought proper to abscond for hisown safety. In spite of all this exculpation, his character did not failto retain a sort of stigma, which indeed the plainest proofs of innocenceare hardly able to efface; and his connexion with such a palpable knaveas the Tyrolese appeared to be, had an effect to his prejudice in theminds of all those who were privy to the occurrence. 

When a man's reputation is once brought in question, every trifle is, bythe malevolence of mankind, magnified into a strong presumption againstthe culprit. A few whispers communicated by the envious mouth ofslander, which he can have no opportunity to answer and refute, shall, inthe opinion of the world, convict him of the most horrid crimes; and forone hypocrite who is decked with the honours of virtue, there are twentygood men who suffer the ignominy of vice; so well disposed areindividuals to trample upon the fame of their fellow-creatures. If themost unblemished merit is not protected from this injustice, it will notbe wondered at that no quarter was given to the character of anadventurer like Fathom, who, among other unlucky occurrences, had themisfortune to be recognised about this time by his two Parisian friends, Sir Stentor Stile and Sir Giles Squirrel. 

These worthy knights-errant had returned to their own country, afterhaving made a very prosperous campaign in France, at the end of which, however, they very narrowly escaped the galleys; and seeing the PolishCount seated at the head of taste and politeness, they immediatelycirculated the story of his defeat at Paris, with many ludicrouscircumstances of their own invention, and did not scruple to affirm thathe was a rank impostor. When the laugh is raised upon a great man, henever fails to dwindle into contempt. Ferdinand began to perceive achange in the countenance of his friends. His company was no longersolicited with that eagerness which they had formerly expressed in hisbehalf. Even his entertainments were neglected; when he appeared at anyprivate or public assembly, the ladies, instead of glowing with pleasure, as formerly, now tittered or regarded him with looks of disdain; and acertain pert, little, forward coquette, with a view to put him out ofcountenance, by raising the laugh at his expense, asked him one night, ata drum, when he had heard from his relations in Poland? She succeeded inher design upon the mirth of the audience, but was disappointed in theother part of her aim; for our hero replied, without the least mark ofdiscomposure, "They are all in good health at your service, madam; I wishI knew in what part of the world your relations reside, that I mightreturn the compliment. " By this answer, which was the more severe, asthe young lady was of very doubtful extraction, he retorted the laughupon the aggressor, though he likewise failed in his attempt upon hertemper; for she was perhaps the only person present who equalled himselfin stability of countenance. 

Notwithstanding this appearance of unconcern, he was deeply touched withthese marks of alienation in the behaviour of his friends, and, foreseeing in his own disgrace the total shipwreck of his fortune, heentered into a melancholy deliberation with himself about the means ofretrieving his importance in the beau monde, or of turning his addressinto some other channel, where he could stand upon a less slipperyfoundation. In this exercise of his thoughts, no scheme occurred morefeasible than that of securing the booty he had made, and retiring withhis associate, who was also blown, into some other country, where theirnames and characters being unknown, they might pursue their old plan ofcommerce without molestation. He imparted this suggestion to theTyrolese, who approved the proposal of decamping, though he combated withall his might our hero's inclination to withdraw himself before thetrial, by repeating the assurances of the solicitor, who told him hemight depend upon being reimbursed by the sentence of the court for greatpart of the sums he had expended in the course of the prosecution. 

Fathom suffered himself to be persuaded by these arguments, supportedwith the desire of making an honourable retreat, and, waiting patientlyfor the day of trouble, discharged his sureties, by a personal appearancein court. Yet this was not the only score he discharged that morning;the solicitor presented his own bill before they set out for WestminsterHall, and gave the Count to understand that it was the custom, from timeimmemorial, for the client to clear with his attorney before trial. Ferdinand had nothing to object against this established rule, though helooked upon it as a bad omen, in spite of all the solicitor's confidenceand protestations; and he was not a little confounded, when, looking intothe contents, he found himself charged with 350 attendances. He knew itwas not his interest to disoblige his lawyer at such a juncture;nevertheless, he could not help expostulating with him on this article, which seemed to be so falsely stated with regard to the number; when hisquestions drew on an explanation, by which he found he had incurred thepenalty of three shillings and fourpence for every time he chanced tomeet the conscientious attorney, either in the park, the coffee-house, orthe street, provided they had exchanged the common salutation; and he hadgood reason to believe the solicitor had often thrown himself in his way, with a view to swell this item of his account. 

With this extortion our adventurer was fain to comply, because he lay atthe mercy of the caitiff; accordingly, he with a good grace paid thedemand, which, including his former disbursements, amounted to threehundred and sixty-five pounds eleven shillings and threepence threefarthings, and then presenting himself before the judge, quietlysubmitted to the laws of the realm. His counsel behaved like men ofconsummate abilities in their profession; they exerted themselves withequal industry, eloquence, and erudition, in their endeavours to perplexthe truth, browbeat the evidence, puzzle the judge, and mislead the jury;but the defendant found himself wofully disappointed in the deposition ofTrapwell's journeyman, whom the solicitor pretended to have converted tohis interest. This witness, as the attorney afterwards declared, playedbooty, and the facts came out so clear, that Ferdinand Count Fathom wasconvicted of criminal conversation with the plaintiff's wife, and cast infifteen hundred pounds, under the denomination of damages. 

He was not so much surprised as afflicted at this decision, because hesaw it gradually approaching from the examination of the first evidence. His thoughts were now employed in casting about for some method ofdeliverance from the snare in which he found himself entangled. Toescape, he foresaw it would be impracticable, as Trapwell wouldundoubtedly be prepared for arresting him before he could quitWestminster Hall; he was too well acquainted with Ratchcali's principles, to expect any assistance from that quarter in money matters; and he wasutterly averse to the payment of the sum awarded against him, which wouldhave exhausted his whole fortune. He therefore resolved to try thefriendship of some persons of fashion, with whom he had maintained anintimacy of correspondence. Should they fail him in the day of hisnecessity, he proposed to have recourse to his former sureties, one ofwhom he meant to bilk, while the other might accompany him in hisretreat; or, should both these expedients miscarry, he determined, ratherthan part with his effects, to undergo the most disagreeable confinement, in hope of obtaining the jailor's connivance at his escape. 

These resolutions being taken, he met his fate with great fortitude andequanimity, and calmly suffered himself to be conveyed to the house of asheriff's officer, who, as he made his exit from the hall, according tohis own expectation, executed a writ against him, at the suit ofTrapwell, for a debt of two thousand pounds. To this place he wasfollowed by his solicitor, who was allured by the prospect of anotherjob, and who, with great demonstrations of satisfaction, congratulatedhim upon the happy issue of the trial; arrogating to himself the merit ofhaving saved him eight thousand pounds in the article of damages, by theprevious steps he had taken, and the noble defence that he and hisfriends the counsel had made for their client; he even hinted anexpectation of receiving a gratuity for his extraordinary care anddiscretion. 

Fathom, galled as he was with his misfortune, and enraged at theeffrontery of this pettifogger, maintained a serenity of countenance, andsent the attorney with a message to the plaintiff, importing, that, as hewas a foreigner, and could not be supposed to have so much cash abouthim, as to spare fifteen hundred pounds from the funds of his ordinaryexpense, he would grant him a bond payable in two months, during whichperiod he should be able to procure a proper remittance from his ownestate. While the solicitor was employed in this negotiation, hedespatched his valet-de-chambre to one nobleman, and Maurice to another, with billets, signifying the nature of the verdict which his adversaryhad obtained, and desiring that each would lend him a thousand poundsupon his parole, until he could negotiate bills upon the Continent. 

His three messengers returned almost at the same instant of time, andthese were the answers they brought back. 

Trapwell absolutely rejected his personal security; and threatened himwith all the horrors of a jail, unless he would immediately discharge thedebt, or procure sufficient bondsmen; and one of his quality friendsfavoured him with this reply to his request:--

"MY DEAR COUNT!--I am mortally chagrined at the triumph you havefurnished to that rascally citizen. By the lard! the judge must havebeen in the terrors of cuckoldom, to influence the decision; and the jurya mere herd of horned beasts, to bring in such a barbarous verdict. Egad! at this rate, no gentleman will be able to lie with another man'swife, but at the risk of a cursed prosecution. But to waive thisdisagreeable circumstance, which you must strive to forget; I declare mymortification is still the greater, because I cannot at present supplyyou with the trifle your present exigency requires; for, to tell you asecret, my own finances are in damnable confusion. But a man of CountFathom's figure and address can never be puzzled for the want of such apaltry sum. Adieu, my dear Count! we shall, I suppose, have the pleasureof seeing you to-morrow at White's: meanwhile, I have the honour to be, with the most perfect attachment, yours, GRIZZLEGRIN. "

The other noble peer, to whom he addressed himself on this occasion, cherished the same sentiments of virtue, friendship, and generosity; buthis expression was so different, that we shall, for the edification ofthe reader, transcribe his letter in his own words:--

"SIR, --I was never more astonished than at the receipt of your veryextraordinary billet, wherein you solicit the loan of a thousand pounds, which you desire may be sent with the bearer on the faith of your parole. Sir, I have no money to send you or lend you; and cannot help repeatingmy expressions of surprise at your confidence in making such a strangeand unwarranted demand. 'Tis true, I may have made professions offriendship, while I looked upon you as a person of honour and goodmorals; but now that you are convicted of such a flagrant violation ofthe laws of that kingdom where you have been treated with suchhospitality and respect, I think myself fully absolved from any suchconditional promise, which indeed is never interpreted into any otherthan a bare compliment. I am sorry you have involved your character andfortune in such a disagreeable affair, and am, Sir, yours, etc. TROMPINGTON. "

Ferdinand was not such a novice in the world as to be disappointed atthese repulses; especially as he had laid very little stress upon theapplication, which was made by way of an experiment upon the gratitude orcaprice of those two noblemen, whom he had actually more than onceobliged with the same sort of assistance which he now solicited, thoughnot to such a considerable amount. 

Having nothing further to expect from the fashionable world, he sent theTyrolese to the person who had been bail for his appearance, with fullinstructions to explain his present occasion in the most favourablelight, and desire he would reinforce the credit of the Count with hissecurity; but that gentleman, though he placed the most perfectconfidence on the honour of our hero, and would have willingly enteredinto bonds again for his personal appearance, was not quite so wellsatisfied of his circumstances, as to become liable for the payment oftwo thousand pounds, an expense which, in his opinion, the finances of noforeign Count were able to defray. He therefore lent a deaf ear to themost pressing remonstrances of the ambassador, who had recourse toseveral other merchants, with the same bad success; so that the prisoner, despairing of bail, endeavoured to persuade Ratchcali, that it would behis interest to contribute a thousand pounds towards his discharge, thathe might be enabled to quit England with a good grace, and execute hispart of the plan they had projected. 

So powerful was his eloquence on the occasion, and such strength ofargument did he use, that even the Tyrolese seemed convinced, thoughreluctantly, and agreed to advance the necessary sum upon the bond andjudgment of our adventurer, who, being disabled from transacting his ownaffairs in person, was obliged to intrust Ratchcali with his keys, papers, and power of attorney, under the check and inspection of hisfaithful Maurice and the solicitor, whose fidelity he bespoke with thepromise of an ample recompense. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

THE BITER IS BIT. 

Yet, he had no sooner committed his effects to the care of thistriumvirate, than his fancy was visited with direful warnings, whichproduced cold sweats and palpitations, and threw him into such agonies ofapprehension as he had never known before. He remembered the formerdesertion of the Tyrolese, the recent villany of the solicitor, andrecollected the remarks he had made upon the disposition and character ofhis valet, which evinced him a fit companion for the other two. 

Alarmed at these reflections, he entreated the bailiff to indulge himwith a visit to his own lodgings, and even offered one hundred guineas asa gratification for his compliance. But the officer, who had formerlylost a considerable sum by the escape of a prisoner, would not run anyrisk in an affair of such consequence, and our hero was obliged to submitto the tortures of his own presaging fears. After he had waited fivehours in the most racking impatience, he saw the attorney enter with allthe marks of hurry, fatigue, and consternation, and heard him exclaim, "Good God, have you seen the gentleman?"

Fathom found his fears realised in this interrogation, to which heanswered in a tone of horror and dismay, "What gentleman? I suppose I amrobbed. Speak, and keep me no longer in suspense. " "Robbed!" cried theattorney, "the Lord forbid! I hope you can depend upon the person youempowered to receive your jewels and cash? I must own his proceedingsare a little extraordinary; for after he had rummaged your scrutoire, from which, in presence of me and your servant, he took one hundred andfifty guineas, a parcel of diamond rings and buckles, according to thishere inventory, which I wrote with my own hand, and East India bonds tothe tune of five hundred more, we adjourned to Garraway's, where he leftme alone, under pretence of going to a broker of his acquaintance wholived in the neighbourhood, while the valet, as I imagined, waited for usin the alley. Well, sir, he stayed so long, that I began to be uneasy, and at length resolved to send the servant in quest of him, but when Iwent out for that purpose, deuce a servant was to be found; though I inperson inquired for him at every alehouse within half a mile of theplace. I then despatched no less than five ticket porters upon the scentafter them, and I myself, by a direction from the bar-keeper, went toSignior Ratchcali's lodgings, where, as they told me, he had not beenseen since nine o'clock in the morning. Upon this intimation, I camedirectly hither, to give you timely notice, that you may without delaytake measures for your own security. The best thing you can do, is totake out writs for apprehending him, in the counties of Middlesex, Surrey, Kent, and Essex, and I shall put them in the hands of trusty anddiligent officers, who will soon ferret him out of his lurking-place, provided he skulks within ten miles of the bills of mortality. To besure, the job will be expensive; and all these runners must be paidbeforehand. But what then? the defendant is worth powder, and if we canonce secure him, I'll warrant the prosecution will quit cost. "

Fathom was almost choked with concern and resentment at the news of thismischance, so that he could not utter one word until this narrative wasfinished. Nor was his suspicion confined to the Tyrolese and his ownlacquey; he considered the solicitor as their accomplice and director, and was so much provoked at the latter part of his harangue, that hisdiscretion seemed to vanish, and, collaring the attorney, "Villain!" saidhe, "you yourself have been a principal actor in this robbery. " Thenturning to the bystanders, "and I desire in the King's name that he maybe secured, until I can make oath before a magistrate in support of thecharge. If you refuse your assistance in detaining him, I will makeimmediate application to one of the secretaries of state, who is myparticular friend, and he will see justice done to all parties. "

At mention of this formidable name, the bailiff and his whole family werein commotion, to obstruct the retreat of the lawyer, who stood aghast andtrembled under the grasp of our adventurer. But, soon as he foundhimself delivered from this embrace, by the interposition of thespectators, and collected his spirits, which had been suddenly dissipatedby Fathom's unexpected assault, he began to display one art of hisoccupation, which he always reserved for extraordinary occasions. Thiswas the talent of abuse, which he poured forth with such fluency ofopprobrious language, that our hero, smarting as he was, and almostdesperate with his loss, deviated from that temperance of behaviour whichhe had hitherto preserved, and snatching up the poker, with one strokeopened a deep trench upon the attorney's skull, that extended from thehind head almost to the upper part of the nose, upon each side of whichit discharged a sanguine stream. Notwithstanding the pain of thisapplication, the solicitor was transported with joy at the sense of thesmart, and inwardly congratulated himself upon the appearance of his ownblood, which he no sooner perceived, than he exclaimed, "I'm a dead man, "and fell upon the floor at full length. 

Immediate recourse was had to a surgeon in the neighbourhood, who, havingexamined the wound, declared there was a dangerous depression of thefirst table of the skull, and that, if he could save the patient's lifewithout the application of the trepan, it would be one of the greatestcures that ever were performed. By this time, Fathom's first transportbeing overblown, he summoned up his whole resolution, and reflected uponhis own ruin with that fortitude which had never failed him in theemergencies of his fate. Little disturbed at the prognostic of thesurgeon, which he considered in the right point of view; "Sir, " said he, "I am not so unacquainted with the resistance of an attorney's skull, asto believe the chastisement I have bestowed on him will at all endangerhis life, which is in much greater jeopardy from the hands of the commonexecutioner. For, notwithstanding this accident, I am determined toprosecute the rascal for robbery with the utmost severity of the law;and, that I may have a sufficient fund left for that prosecution, I shallnot at present throw away one farthing in unnecessary expense, but insistupon being conveyed to prison without farther delay. "

This declaration was equally unwelcome to the bailiff, surgeon, andsolicitor, who, upon the supposition that the Count was a person offortune, and would rather part with an immense sum than incur theignominy of a jail, or involve himself in another disgraceful lawsuit, had resolved to fleece him to the utmost of their power. But, now theattorney finding him determined to set his fate at defiance, and toretort upon him a prosecution, which he had no design to undergo, beganto repent heartily of the provocation he had given, and to thinkseriously on some method to overcome the obstinacy of the incensedforeigner. With this view, while the bailiff conducted him to bed inanother apartment, he desired the catchpole to act the part of mediatorbetween him and the Count, and furnished him with proper instructions forthat purpose. Accordingly the landlord, on his return, told Fathom thathe was sure the solicitor was not a man for this world; for that he hadleft him deprived of his senses, and praying to God with great devotionfor mercy to his murderer. He then exhorted him, with many protestationsof friendship, to compromise the unhappy affair by exchanging releaseswith the attorney before his delirium should be known, otherwise he wouldbring himself into a most dangerous premunire, whether the plaintiffshould die of his wound, or live to prosecute him for assault. "And withregard to your charge of robbery against him, " said he, "as it is no morethan a base suspicion, unsupported by the least shadow of evidence, thebill would be thrown out, and then he might sue you for damages. Itherefore, out of pure friendship and good-nature, advise you tocompromise the affair, and, if you think proper, will endeavour to bringabout a mutual release. "

Our hero, whose passion was by this time pretty well cooled, saw reasonfor assenting to the proposal; upon which the deed was immediatelyexecuted, the mediator's bill was discharged, and Ferdinand conveyed inan hackney-coach to prison, after he had empowered his own landlord todischarge his servants, and convert his effects into ready money. Thus, he saw himself, in the course of a few hours, deprived of his reputation, rank, liberty, and friends; and his fortune reduced from two thousandpounds to something less than two hundred, fifty of which he had carriedto jail in his pocket. 

END OF VOL. I.