RACKETTY-PACKETTY HOUSEAs told by Queen Crosspatch ByFrances Hodgson BurnettAuthor of "Little Lord Fauntleroy" With illustrations by Harrison Cady [Transcribers note: see frontispiece. Jpg, dance. Jpg and fairy. Jpg] Now this is the story about the doll family I liked and the dollfamily I didn't. When you read it you are to remember something Iam going to tell you. This is it: If you think dolls never doanything you don't see them do, you are very much mistaken. Whenpeople are not looking at them they can do anything they choose. They can dance and sing and play on the piano and have all sorts offun. But they can only move about and talk when people turn theirbacks and are not looking. If any one looks, they just stop. Fairies know this and of course Fairies visit in all the dolls'houses where the dolls are agreeable. They will not associate, though, with dolls who are not nice. They never call or leave theircards at a dolls' house where the dolls are proud or bad tempered. They are very particular. If you are conceited or ill-temperedyourself, you will never know a fairy as long as you live. Queen Crosspatch. RACKETTY-PACKETTY HOUSE Racketty-Packetty House was in a corner of Cynthia's nursery. Andit was not in the best corner either. It was in the corner behindthe door, and that was not at all a fashionable neighborhood. Racketty-Packetty House had been pushed there to be out of the waywhen Tidy Castle was brought in, on Cynthia's birthday. As soon asshe saw Tidy Castle Cynthia did not care for Racketty-PackettyHouse and indeed was quite ashamed of it. She thought the cornerbehind the door quite good enough for such a shabby old dolls'house, when there was the beautiful big new one built like a castleand furnished with the most elegant chairs and tables and carpetsand curtains and ornaments and pictures and beds and baths andlamps and book-cases, and with a knocker on the front door, and astable with a pony cart in it at the back. The minute she saw itshe called out: "Oh! what a beautiful doll castle! What shall we do with thatuntidy old Racketty-Packetty House now? It is too shabby andold-fashioned to stand near it. " In fact, that was the way in which the old dolls' house got itsname. It had always been called, "The Dolls' House, " before, butafter that it was pushed into the unfashionable neighborhood behindthe door and ever afterwards--when it was spoken of at all--it wasjust called Racketty-Packetty House, and nothing else. [Transcriber's Note: See picture tidyshire_castle. Jpg] Of course Tidy Castle was grand, and Tidy Castle was new and hadall the modern improvements in it, and Racketty-Packetty House wasas old-fashioned as it could be. It had belonged to Cynthia'sGrandmamma and had been made in the days when Queen Victoria was alittle girl, and when there were no electric lights even inPrincesses' dolls' houses. Cynthia's Grandmamma had kept it veryneat because she had been a good housekeeper even when she wasseven years old. But Cynthia was not a good housekeeper and she didnot re-cover the furniture when it got dingy, or re-paper thewalls, or mend the carpets and bedclothes, and she never thought ofsuch a thing as making new clothes for the doll family, so that ofcourse their early Victorian frocks and capes and bonnets grew intime to be too shabby for words. You see, when Queen Victoria was alittle girl, dolls wore queer frocks and long pantalets and boydolls wore funny frilled trousers and coats which it would almostmake you laugh to look at. But the Racketty-Packetty House family had known better days. I andmy Fairies had known them when they were quite new and had been abirthday present just as Tidy Castle was when Cynthia turned eightyears old, and there was as much fuss about them when their housearrived as Cynthia made when she saw Tidy Castle. Cynthia's Grandmamma had danced about and clapped her hands withdelight, and she had scrambled down upon her knees and taken thedolls out one by one and thought their clothes beautiful. And shehad given each one of them a grand name. "This one shall be Amelia, " she said. "And this one is Charlotte, and this is Victoria Leopoldina, and this one Aurelia Matilda, andthis one Leontine, and this one Clotilda, and these boys shall beAugustus and Rowland and Vincent and Charles Edward Stuart. " For a long time they led a very gay and fashionable life. They hadparties and balls and were presented at Court and went to RoyalChristenings and Weddings and were married themselves and hadfamilies and scarlet fever and whooping cough and funerals andevery luxury. But that was long, long ago, and now all was changed. Their house had grown shabbier and shabbier, and their clothes hadgrown simply awful; and Aurelia Matilda and Victoria Leopoldina hadbeen broken to bits and thrown into the dust-bin, and Leontine--whohad really been the beauty of the family--had been dragged out onthe hearth rug one night and had had nearly all her paint lickedoff and a leg chewed up by a Newfoundland puppy, so that she was asight to behold. As for the boys; Rowland and Vincent had quitedisappeared, and Charlotte and Amelia always believed they had runaway to seek their fortunes, because things were in such a state athome. So the only ones who were left were Clotilda and Amelia andCharlotte and poor Leontine and Augustus and Charles Edward Stuart. Even they had their names changed. [Transcriber's Note: See picture ridiklis. Jpg] After Leontine had had her paint licked off so that her head hadwhite bald spots on it and she had scarcely any features, a boycousin of Cynthia's had put a bright red spot on each cheek andpainted her a turned up nose and round saucer blue eyes and acomical mouth. He and Cynthia had called her, "Ridiklis" instead ofLeontine, and she had been called that ever since. All the dollswere jointed Dutch dolls, so it was easy to paint any kind offeatures on them and stick out their arms and legs in any way youliked, and Leontine did look funny after Cynthia's cousin hadfinished. She certainly was not a beauty but her turned up nose andher round eyes and funny mouth always seemed to be laughing so shereally was the most good-natured looking creature you ever saw. Charlotte and Amelia, Cynthia had called Meg and Peg, and Clotildashe called Kilmanskeg, and Augustus she called Gustibus, andCharles Edward Stuart was nothing but Peter Piper. So that was theend of their grand names. The truth was, they went through all sorts of things, and if theyhad not been such a jolly lot of dolls they might have had fits andappendicitis and died of grief. But not a bit of it. If you willbelieve it, they got fun out of everything. They used to justscream with laughter over the new names, and they laughed so muchover them that they got quite fond of them. When Meg's pink silkflounces were torn she pinned them up and didn't mind in the least, and when Peg's lace mantilla was played with by a kitten andbrought back to her in rags and tags, she just put a few stitchesin it and put it on again; and when Peter Piper lost almost thewhole leg of one of his trousers he just laughed and said it madeit easier for him to kick about and turn somersaults and he wishedthe other leg would tear off too. You never saw a family have such fun. They could make up storiesand pretend things and invent games out of nothing. And my Fairieswere so fond of them that I couldn't keep them away from the dolls'house. They would go and have fun with Meg and Peg and Kilmanskegand Gustibus and Peter Piper, even when I had work for them to doin Fairyland. But there, I was so fond of that shabby disrespectablefamily myself that I never would scold much about them, and I oftenwent to see them. That is how I know so much about them. They wereso fond of each other and so good-natured and always in suchspirits that everybody who knew them was fond of them. And it wasreally only Cynthia who didn't know them and thought them only alot of old disreputable looking Dutch dolls--and Dutch dolls werequite out of fashion. The truth was that Cynthia was not aparticularly nice little girl, and did not care much for anythingunless it was quite new. But the kitten who had torn the lacemantilla got to know the family and simply loved them all, and theNewfoundland puppy was so sorry about Leontine's paint and her leftleg, that he could never do enough to make up. He wanted to marryLeontine as soon as he grew old enough to wear a collar, butLeontine said she would never desert her family; because now thatshe wasn't the beauty any more she became the useful one, and didall the kitchen work, and sat up and made poultices and beef teawhen any of the rest were ill. And the Newfoundland puppy saw shewas right, for the whole family simply adored Ridiklis and couldnot possibly have done without her. Meg and Peg and Kilmanskegcould have married any minute if they had liked. There were twocock sparrows and a gentleman mouse, who proposed to them over andover again. They all three said they did not want fashionable wivesbut cheerful dispositions and a happy, home. But Meg and Peg werelike Ridiklis and could not bear to leave their families--besidesnot wanting to live in nests, and hatch eggs--and Kilmanskeg saidshe would die of a broken heart if she could not be with Ridiklis, and Ridiklis did not like cheese and crumbs and mousy things, sothey could never live together in a mouse hole. But neither thegentleman mouse nor the sparrows were offended because the news wasbroken to them so sweetly and they went on visiting just as before. Everything was as shabby and disrespectable and as gay and happy asit could be until Tidy Castle was brought into the nursery and thenthe whole family had rather a fright. [Transcriber's Note: See picture mouse. Jpg] It happened in this way: When the dolls' house was lifted by the nurse and carried into thecorner behind the door, of course it was rather an exciting andshaky thing for Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Gustibus and PeterPiper (Ridiklis was out shopping). The furniture tumbled about andeverybody had to hold on to anything they could catch hold of. Asit was, Kilmanskeg slid under a table and Peter Piper sat down inthe coal-box; but notwithstanding all this, they did not lose theirtempers and when the nurse sat their house down on the floor with abump, they all got up and began to laugh. Then they ran and peepedout of the windows and then they ran back and laughed again. [Transcriber's Note: See picture fashionable_wives. Jpg] "Well, " said Peter Piper, "we have been called Meg and Peg andKilmanskeg and Gustibus and Peter Piper instead of our grand names, and now we live in a place called Racketty-Packetty House. Whocares! Let's join hands and have a dance. " And they joined hands and danced round and round and kicked uptheir heels, and their rags and tatters flew about and they laugheduntil they fell down; one on top of the other. It was just at this minute that Ridiklis came back. The nurse hadfound her under a chair and stuck her in through a window. She saton the drawing-room sofa which had holes in its covering and thestuffing coming out, and her one whole leg stuck out straight infront of her, and her bonnet and shawl were on one side and herbasket was on her left arm full of things she had got cheap atmarket. She was out of breath and rather pale through being liftedup and swished through the air so suddenly, but her saucer eyes andher funny mouth looked as cheerful as ever. "Good gracious, if you knew what I have just heard!" she said. Theyall scrambled up and called out together. "Hello! What is it?" "The nurse said the most awful thing, " she answered them. "WhenCynthia asked what she should do with this old Racketty-PackettyHouse, she said, 'Oh! I'll put it behind the door for the presentand then it shall be carried down-stairs and burned. It's toodisgraceful to be kept in any decent nursery. '" "Oh!" cried out Peter Piper. "Oh!" said Gustibus. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" said Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg. "Will they burn ourdear old shabby house? Do you think they will?" And actually tearsbegan to run down their cheeks. Peter Piper sat down on the floor all at once with his handsstuffed in his pockets. "I don't care how shabby it is, " he said. "It's a jolly nice oldplace and it's the only house we've ever had. " "I never want to have any other, " said Meg. Gustibus leaned against the wall with his hands stuffed in hispockets. "I wouldn't move if I was made King of England, " he said. "Buckingham Palace wouldn't be half as nice. " "We've had such fun here, " said Peg. And Kilmanskeg shook her headfrom side to side and wiped her eyes on her ragged pocket-handkerchief. There is no knowing what would have happened to them if Peter Piperhadn't cheered up as he always did. "I say, " he said, "do you hear that noise?" They all listened andheard a rumbling. Peter Piper ran to the window and looked out andthen ran back grinning. "It's the nurse rolling up the arm-chair before the house to hideit, so that it won't disgrace the castle. Hooray! Hooray! If theydon't see us they will forget all about us and we shall not beburned up at all. Our nice old Racketty-Packetty House will be leftalone and we can enjoy ourselves more than ever--because we sha'n'tbe bothered with Cynthia--Hello! let's all join hands and have adance. " So they all joined hands and danced round in a ring again and theywere so relieved that they laughed and laughed until they alltumbled down in a heap just as they had done before, and rolledabout giggling and squealing. It certainly seemed as if they werequite safe for some time at least. The big easy chair hid them andboth the nurse and Cynthia seemed to forget that there was such athing as a Racketty-Packetty House in the neighborhood. Cynthia wasso delighted with Tidy Castle that she played with nothing else fordays and days. And instead of being jealous of their grandneighbors the Racketty-Packetty House people began to get all sortsof fun out of watching them from their own windows. Several oftheir windows were broken and some had rags and paper stuffed intothe broken panes, but Meg and Peg and Peter Piper would go and peepout of one, and Gustibus and Kilmanskeg would peep out of another, and Ridiklis could scarcely get her dishes washed and her potatoespared because she could see the Castle kitchen from her scullerywindow. It was _so_ exciting! [Transcriber's Note: See picture ridiklis_cooking. Jpg] The Castle dolls were grand beyond words, and they were all lordsand ladies. These were their names. There was Lady Gwendolen Verede Vere. She was haughty and had dark eyes and hair and carried herhead thrown back and her nose in the air. There was Lady MurielVere de Vere, and she was cold and lovely and indifferent andlooked down the bridge of her delicate nose. And there was LadyDoris, who had fluffy golden hair and laughed mockingly ateverybody. And there was Lord Hubert and Lord Rupert and LordFrancis, who were all handsome enough to make you feel as if youcould faint. And there was their mother, the Duchess of Tidyshire;and of course there were all sorts of maids and footmen and cooksand scullery maids and even gardeners. "We never thought of living to see such grand society, " said PeterPiper to his brother and sisters. "It's quite a kind of blessing. " "It's almost like being grand ourselves, just to be able to watchthem, " said Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg, squeezing together andflattening their noses against the attic windows. They could see bits of the sumptuous white and gold drawing-roomwith the Duchess sitting reading near the fire, her golden glassesupon her nose, and Lady Gwendolen playing haughtily upon the harp, and Lady Muriel coldly listening to her. Lady Doris was having hergolden hair dressed by her maid in her bed-room and Lord Hubert wasreading the newspaper with a high-bred air, while Lord Francis waswriting letters to noblemen of his acquaintance, and Lord Rupertwas--in an aristocratic manner--glancing over his love letters fromladies of title. [Transcriber's Note: See picture duchess. Jpg] Kilmanskeg and Peter Piper just pinched each other with glee andsquealed with delight. "Isn't it fun, " said Peter Piper. "I say; aren't they awful swells!But Lord Francis can't kick about in his trousers as I can in mine, and neither can the others. I'll like to see them try to do this, "--and he turned three summersaults in the middle of the room andstood on his head on the biggest hole in the carpet--and wiggledhis legs and wiggled his toes at them until they shouted so withlaughing that Ridiklis ran in with a saucepan in her hand andperspiration on her forehead, because she was cooking turnips, which was all they had for dinner. "You mustn't laugh so loud, " she cried out. "If we make so muchnoise the Tidy Castle people will begin to complain of this being alow neighborhood and they might insist on moving away. " "Oh! scrump!" said Peter Piper, who sometimes invented doll slang--though there wasn't really a bit of harm in him. "I wouldn't havethem move away for anything. They are meat and drink to me. " "They are going to have a dinner of ten courses, " sighed Ridiklis, "I can see them cooking it from my scullery window. And I havenothing but turnips to give you. " "Who cares!" said Peter Piper, "Let's have ten courses of turnipsand pretend each course is exactly like the one they are having atthe Castle. " "I like turnips almost better than anything--almost--perhaps notquite, " said Gustibus. "I can eat ten courses of turnips like ashot. " "Let's go and find out what their courses are, " said Meg and Pegand Kilmanskeg, "and then we will write a menu on a piece of pinktissue paper. " [Transcriber's Note: See picture peter_piper. Jpg] And if you'll believe it, that was what they did. They dividedtheir turnips into ten courses and they called the first one--"Horsd'oeuvres, " and the last one "Ices, " with a French name, and PeterPiper kept jumping up from the table and pretending he was afootman and flourishing about in his flapping rags of trousers andannouncing the names of the dishes in such a grand way that theylaughed till they nearly died, and said they never had had such asplendid dinner in their lives, and that they would rather livebehind the door and watch the Tidy Castle people than be the TidyCastle people themselves. And then of course they all joined hands and danced round and roundand kicked up their heels for joy, because they always did thatwhenever there was the least excuse for it--and quite often whenthere wasn't any at all, just because it was such good exercise andworked off their high spirits so that they could settle down for awhile. This was the way things went on day after day. They almost lived attheir windows. They watched the Tidy Castle family get up and bedressed by their maids and valets in different clothes almost everyday. They saw them drive out in their carriages, and have parties, and go to balls. They all nearly had brain fever with delight theday they watched Lady Gwendolen and Lady Muriel and Lady Doris, dressed in their Court trains and feathers, going to be presentedat the first Drawing-Room. After the lovely creatures had gone the whole family sat down in acircle round the Racketty-Packetty House library fire, and Ridiklisread aloud to them about Drawing-Rooms, out of a scrap of theLady's Pictorial she had found, and after that they had a CourtDrawing-Room of their own, and they made tissue-paper trains andglass bead crowns for diamond tiaras, and sometimes Gustibuspretended to be the Royal family, and the others were presented tohim and kissed his hand, and then the others took turns and he waspresented. And suddenly the most delightful thing occurred to PeterPiper. He thought it would be rather nice to make them all intolords and ladies and he did it by touching them on the shoulderwith the drawing-room poker which he straightened because it was socrooked that it was almost bent double. It is not exactly the waysuch things are done at Court, but Peter Piper thought it would do--and at any rate it was great fun. So he made them all kneel down ina row and he touched each on the shoulder with the poker and said: "Rise up, Lady Meg and Lady Peg and Lady Kilmanskeg and LadyRidiklis of Racketty-Packetty House-and also the Right HonorableLord Gustibus Rags!" And they all jumped up at once and made bowsand curtsied to each other. But they made Peter Piper into a Duke, and he was called the Duke of Tags. He knelt down on the big holein the carpet and each one of them gave him a little thump on theshoulder with the poker, because it took more thumps to make a Dukethan a common or garden Lord. [Transcriber's Note: See picture duke. Jpg] The day after this another much more exciting thing took place. Thenurse was in a bad temper and when she was tidying the nursery shepushed the easy chair aside and saw Racketty-Packetty House. "Oh!" she said, "there is that Racketty-Packetty old thing still. Ihad forgotten it. It must be carried down-stairs and burned. I willgo and tell one of the footmen to come for it. " Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg were in their attic and they all rushedout in such a hurry to get down-stairs that they rolled all the waydown the staircase, and Peter Piper and Gustibus had to dart out ofthe drawing-room and pick them up, Ridiklis came staggering up fromthe kitchen quite out of breath. "Oh! our house is going to be burned! Our house is going to beburned!" cried Meg and Peg clutching their brothers. "Let us go and throw ourselves out of the window!" criedKilmanskeg. "I don't see how they can have the heart to burn a person's home!"said Ridiklis, wiping her eyes with her kitchen duster. Peter Piper was rather pale, but he was extremely brave andremembered that he was the head of the family. "Now, Lady Meg and Lady Peg and Lady Kilmanskeg, " he said, "let usall keep cool. " "We shan't keep cool when they set our house on fire, " saidGustibus. Peter Piper just snapped his fingers. "Pooh!" he said. "We are only made of wood and it won't hurt a bit. We shall just snap and crackle and go off almost like fireworks andthen we shall be ashes and fly away into the air and see all sortsof things. Perhaps it may be more fun than anything we have doneyet. " "But our nice old house! Our nice old Racketty-Packetty House, "said Ridiklis. "I do so love it. The kitchen is so convenient--eventhough the oven won't bake any more. " And things looked most serious because the nurse really wasbeginning to push the arm-chair away. But it would not move and Iwill tell you why. One of my Fairies, who had come down the chimneywhen they were talking, had called me and I had come in a secondwith a whole army of my Workers, and though the nurse couldn't seethem, they were all holding the chair tight down on the carpet sothat it would not stir. And I--Queen Crosspatch--myself--flew downstairs and made thefootman remember that minute that a box had come for Cynthia andthat he must take it upstairs to her nursery. If I had not been onthe spot he would have forgotten it until it was too late. But justin the very nick of time up he came, and Cynthia sprang up as soonas she saw him. [Transcriber's Note: See picture footman. Jpg] "Oh!" she cried out, "It must be the doll who broke her little legand was sent to the hospital. It must be Lady Patsy. " And she opened the box and gave a little scream of joy for therelay Lady Patsy (her whole name was Patricia) in a lace-frillednightgown, with her lovely leg in bandages and a pair of tinycrutches and a trained nurse by her side. That was how I saved them that time. There was such excitement overLady Patsy and her little crutches and her nurse that nothing elsewas thought of and my Fairies pushed the arm-chair back andRacketty-Packetty House was hidden and forgotten once more. The whole Racketty-Packetty family gave a great gasp of joy and satdown in a ring all at once, on the floor, mopping their foreheadswith anything they could get hold of. Peter Piper used anantimacassar. "Oh! we are obliged to you, Queen B-bell--Patch, " he panted out, "But these alarms of fire are upsetting. " "You leave them to me, " I said, "and I'll attend to them. Tip!" Icommanded the Fairy nearest me. "You will have to stay about hereand be ready to give the alarm when anything threatens to happen. "And I flew away, feeling I had done a good morning's work. Well, that was the beginning of a great many things, and many ofthem were connected with Lady Patsy; and but for me there mighthave been unpleasantness. Of course the Racketty-Packetty dolls forgot about their frightdirectly, and began to enjoy themselves again as usual. That wastheir way. They never sat up all night with Trouble, Peter Piperused to say. And I told him they were quite right. If you make afuss over trouble and put it to bed and nurse it and give it beeftea and gruel, you can never get rid of it. Their great delight now was Lady Patsy. They thought she wasprettier than any of the other Tidy Castle dolls. She neitherturned her nose up, nor looked down the bridge of it, nor laughedmockingly. She had dimples in the corners of her mouth and longcurly lashes and her nose was saucy and her eyes were bright andfull of laughs. [Transcriber's Note: See picture house. Jpg] "She's the clever one of the family, " said Peter Piper. "I am sureof that. " She was treated as an invalid at first, of course, and kept in herroom; but they could see her sitting up in her frilled nightgown. After a few days she was carried to a soft chair lay the window andthere she used to sit and look out; and the Racketty-Packetty Housedolls crowded round their window and adored her. After a few days, they noticed that Peter Piper was often missingand one morning Ridiklis went up into the attic and found himsitting at a window all by himself and staring and staring. "Oh! Duke, " she said (you see they always tried to remember eachother's titles). "Dear me, Duke, what are you doing here?" "I am looking at her, " he answered. "I'm in love. I fell in lovewith her the minute Cynthia took her out of her box. I am going tomarry her. " "But she's a lady of high degree, " said Ridiklis quite alarmed. "That's why she'll have me, " said Peter Piper in his most cheerfulmanner. "Ladies of high degree always marry the good looking onesin rags and tatters. If I had a whole suit of clothes on, shewouldn't look at me. I'm very good-looking, you know, " and heturned round and winked at Ridiklis in such a delightful saucy waythat she suddenly felt as if he _was_ very good-looking, though shehad not thought of it before. "Hello, " he said all at once. "I've just thought of something toattract her attention. Where's the ball of string?" Cynthia's kitten had made them a present of a ball of string whichhad been most useful. Ridiklis ran and got it, and all the otherscame running upstairs to see what Peter Piper was going to do. Theyall were delighted to hear he had fallen in love with the lovely, funny Lady Patsy. They found him standing in the middle of theattic unrolling the ball of string. "What are you going to do, Duke?" they all shouted. "Just you watch, " he said, and he began to make the string into arope ladder--as fast as lightning. When he had finished it, hefastened one end of it to a beam and swung the other end out ofthe window. "From her window, " he said, "she can see Racketty-Packetty Houseand I'll tell you something. She's always looking at it. Shewatches us as much as we watch her, and I have seen her gigglingand giggling when we were having fun. Yesterday when I chased LadyMeg and Lady Peg and Lady Kilmanskeg round and round the front ofthe house and turned summersaults every five steps, she laugheduntil she had to stuff her handkerchief into her mouth. When wejoined hands and danced and laughed until we fell in heaps Ithought she was going to have a kind of rosy-dimpled, lovely littlefit, she giggled so. If I run down the side of the house on thisrope ladder it will attract her attention and then I shall begin todo things. " He ran down the ladder and that very minute they saw Lady Patsy ather window give a start and lean forward to look. They all crowdedround their window and chuckled and chuckled as they watched him. [Transcriber's Note: See picture chuckled. Jpg] He turned three stately summersaults and stood on his feet and madea cheerful bow. The Racketty-Packettys saw Lady Patsy begin togiggle that minute. Then he took an antimacassar out of his pocketand fastened it round the edge of his torn trousers leg, as if itwere lace trimming and began to walk about like a Duke--with hisarms folded on his chest and his ragged old hat cocked on one sideover his ear. Then the Racketty-Packettys saw Lady Patsy begin tolaugh. Then Peter Piper stood on his head and kissed his hand andLady Patsy covered her face and rocked backwards and forwards inher chair laughing and laughing. Then he struck an attitude with his tattered leg put forwardgracefully and he pretended he had a guitar and he sang right up ather window. "From Racketty-Packetty House I come, It stands, dear Lady, in a slum, A low, low slum behind the door The stout arm-chair is placed before, (Just take a look at it, my Lady). "The house itself is a perfect sight, And everybody's dressed like a perfect fright, But no one cares a single jot And each one giggles over his lot, (And as for me, I'm in love with you). "I can't make up another verse, And if I did it would be worse, But I could stand and sing all day, If I could think of things to say, (But the fact is I just wanted to make you look at me). " And then he danced such a lively jig that his rags and tags flewabout him, and then he made another bow and kissed his hand againand ran up the ladder like a flash and jumped into the attic. After that Lady Patsy sat at her window all the time and would notlet the trained nurse put her to bed at all; and Lady Gwendolen andLady Muriel and Lady Doris could not understand it. Once LadyGwendolen said haughtily and disdainfully and scornfully andscathingly: "If you sit there so much, those low Racketty-Packetty House peoplewill think you are looking at them. " "I am, " said Lady Patsy, showing all her dimples at once. "They aresuch fun. " And Lady Gwendolen swooned haughtily away, and the trained nursecould scarcely restore her. When the castle dolls drove out or walked in their garden, theinstant they caught sight of one of the Racketty-Packettys theyturned up their noses and sniffed aloud, and several times theDuchess said she would remove because the neighborhood wasabsolutely low. They all scorned the Racketty-Packettys--they just_scorned_ them. One moonlight night Lady Patsy was sitting at her window and sheheard a whistle in the garden. When she peeped out carefully, therestood Peter Piper waving his ragged cap at her, and he had his ropeladder under his arm. "Hello, " he whispered as loud as he could. "Could you catch a bitof rope if I threw it up to you?" "Yes, " she whispered back. "Then catch this, " he whispered again and he threw up the end ofa string and she caught it the first throw. It was fastened to therope ladder. "Now pull, " he said. She pulled and pulled until the rope ladder reached her window andthen she fastened that to a hook under the sill and the first thingthat happened--just like lightning--was that Peter Piper ran up theladder and leaned over her window ledge. "Will you marry me, " he said. "I haven't anything to give you toeat and I am as ragged as a scarecrow, but will you?" [Transcriber's Note: See picture marry. Jpg] She clapped her little hands. "I eat very little, " she said. "And I would do without anything atall, if I could live in your funny old shabby house. " "It is a ridiculous, tumbled-down old barn, isn't it?" he said. "But every one of us is as nice as we can be. We are perfectTurkish Delights. It's laughing that does it. Would you like tocome down the ladder and see what a jolly, shabby old hole theplace is?" "Oh! do take me, " said Lady Patsy. So he helped her down the ladder and took her under the armchairand into Racketty-Packetty House and Meg and Peg and Kilmanskegand Ridiklis and Gustibus all crowded round her and gave littlescreams of joy at the sight of her. They were afraid to kiss her at first, even though she was engagedto Peter Piper. She was so pretty and her frock had so much lace onit that they were afraid their old rags might spoil her. But shedid not care about her lace and flew at them and kissed and huggedthem every one. "I have so wanted to come here, " she said. "It's so dull at theCastle I had to break my leg just to get a change. The Duchess sitsreading near the fire with her gold eye-glasses on her nose andLady Gwendolen plays haughtily on the harp and Lady Muriel coldlylistens to her, and Lady Doris is always laughing mockingly, andLord Hubert reads the newspaper with a high-bred air, and LordFrancis writes letters to noblemen of his acquaintance, and LordRupert glances over his love letters from ladies of title, in anaristocratic manner--until I could _scream_. Just to see you dearsdancing about in your rags and tags and laughing and inventinggames as if you didn't mind anything, is such a relief. " [Transcriber's Note: See picture rupert. Jpg] She nearly laughed her little curly head off when they all wentround the house with her, and Peter Piper showed her the holes inthe carpet and the stuffing coming out of the sofas, and thefeathers out of the beds, and the legs tumbling off the chairs. Shehad never seen anything like it before. "At the Castle, nothing is funny at all, " she said. "And nothingever sticks out or hangs down or tumbles off. It is so plain andnew. " "But I think we ought to tell her, Duke, " Ridiklis said. "We mayhave our house burned over our heads any day. " She really stoppedlaughing for a whole minute when she heard that, but she was ratherlike Peter Piper in disposition and she said almost immediately. "Oh! they'll never do it. They've forgotten you. " And Peter Pipersaid: "Don't let's think of it. Let's all join hands and dance round andround and kick up our heels and laugh as hard as ever we can. " And they did--and Lady Patsy laughed harder than any one else. After that she was always stealing away from Tidy Castle and comingin and having fun. Sometimes she stayed all night and slept withMeg and Peg and everybody invented new games and stories and theyreally never went to bed until daylight. But the Castle dolls grewmore and more scornful every day, and tossed their heads higher andhigher and sniffed louder and louder until it sounded as if theyall had influenza. They never lost an opportunity of sayingdisdainful things and once the Duchess wrote a letter to Cynthia, saying that she insisted on removing to a decent neighborhood. Shelaid the letter in her desk but the gentleman mouse came in thenight and carried it away. So Cynthia never saw it and I don'tbelieve she could have read it if she had seen it because theDuchess wrote very badly--even for a doll. And then what do you suppose happened? One morning Cynthia beganto play that all the Tidy Castle dolls had scarlet fever. She saidit had broken out in the night and she undressed them all and putthem into bed and gave them medicine. She could not find LadyPatsy, so _she_ escaped the contagion. The truth was that LadyPatsy had stayed all night at Racketty-Packetty House, where theywere giving an imitation Court Ball with Peter Piper in a tincrown, and shavings for supper--because they had nothing else, andin fact the gentleman mouse had brought the shavings from his nestas a present. [Transcriber's Note: See picture gentleman_mouse. Jpg] Cynthia played nearly all day and the Duchess and Lady Gwendolenand Lady Muriel and Lady Doris and Lord Hubert and Lord Francis andLord Rupert got worse and worse. By evening they were all raging in delirium and Lord Francis andLady Gwendolen had strong mustard plasters on their chests. Andright in the middle of their agony Cynthia suddenly got up and wentaway and left them to their fate--just as if it didn't matter inthe least. Well in the middle of the night Meg and Peg and LadyPatsy wakened all at once. "Do you hear a noise?" said Meg, lifting her head from her raggedold pillow. [Transcriber's Note: See picture noise. Jpg] "Yes, I do, " said Peg, sitting up and holding her ragged oldblanket up to her chin. Lady Patsy jumped up with feathers sticking up all over her hair, because they had come out of the holes in the ragged old bed. Sheran to the window and listened. "Oh! Meg and Peg!" she cried out. "It comes from the Castle. Cynthia has left them all raving in delirium and they are allshouting and groaning and screaming. " Meg and Peg jumped up too. "Let's go and call Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and PeterPiper, " they said, and they rushed to the staircase and metKilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper comingscrambling up panting because the noise had wakened them as well. They were all over at Tidy Castle in a minute. They just tumbledover each other to get there--the kind-hearted things. The servantswere every one fast asleep, though the noise was awful. The loudestgroans came from Lady Gwendolen and Lord Francis because theirmustard plasters were blistering them frightfully. Ridiklis took charge, because she was the one who knew most aboutillness. She sent Gustibus to waken the servants and then orderedhot water and cold water, and ice, and brandy, and poultices, andshook the trained nurse for not attending to her business--and tookoff the mustard plasters and gave gruel and broth and cough syrupand castor oil and ipecacuanha, and everyone of the Racketty-Packettysmassaged, and soothed, and patted, and put wet cloths on heads, until the fever was gone and the Castle dolls all lay back on theirpillows pale and weak, but smiling faintly at every Racketty-Packettythey saw, instead of turning up their noses and tossing their headsand sniffing loudly, and just _scorning_ them. Lady Gwendolen spoke first and instead of being haughty anddisdainful, she was as humble as a new-born kitten. "Oh! you dear, shabby, disrespectable, darling things!" she said. "Never, never, will I scorn you again. Never, never!" [Transcriber's Note: See picture shabby. Jpg] "That's right!" said Peter Piper in his cheerful, rather slangyway. "You take my tip-never you scorn any one again. It's amistake. Just you watch me stand on my head. It'll cheer you up. " And he turned six summersaults--just like lightning--and stood onhis head and wiggled his ragged legs at them until suddenly theyheard a snort from one of the beds and it was Lord Hubert beginningto laugh and then Lord Francis laughed and then Lord Hubertshouted, and then Lady Doris squealed, and Lady Muriel screamed, and Lady Gwendolen and the Duchess rolled over and over in theirbeds, laughing as if they would have fits. "Oh! you delightful, funny, shabby old loves!" Lady Gwendolen keptsaying. "To think that we scorned you. " "They'll be all right after this, " said Peter Piper. "There'snothing cures scarlet fever like cheering up. Let's all join handsand dance round and round once for them before we go back to bed. It'll throw them into a nice light perspiration and they'll dropoff and sleep like tops. " And they did it, and before they hadfinished, the whole lot of them were perspiring gently and snoringas softly as lambs. When they went back to Racketty-Packetty House they talked a gooddeal about Cynthia and wondered and wondered why she had left herscarlet fever so suddenly. And at last Ridiklis made up her mind totell them something she had heard. "The Duchess told me, " she said, rather slowly because it was badnews--"The Duchess said that Cynthia went away because her Mamahad sent for her--and her Mama had sent for her to tell her that alittle girl princess is coming to see her to-morrow. Cynthia'sMama used to be a maid of honor to the Queen and that's why thelittle girl Princess is coming. The Duchess said--" and hereRidiklis spoke very slowly indeed, "that the nurse was so excitedshe said she did not know whether she stood on her head or herheels, and she must tidy up the nursery and have that Racketty-Packettyold dolls' house carried down stairs and burned, early to-morrowmorning. That's what the Duchess _said_--" Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg clutched at their hearts and gasped andGustibus groaned and Lady Patsy caught Peter Piper by the arm tokeep from falling. Peter Piper gulped--and then he had a suddencheerful thought. "Perhaps she was raving in delirium, " he said. "No, she wasn't, " said Ridiklis shaking her head, "I had just givenher hot water and cold, and gruel, and broth, and castor oil, andipecacuanha and put ice almost all over her. She was as sensible asany of us. To-morrow morning we shall not have a house over ourheads, " and she put her ragged old apron over her face and cried. [Transcriber's Note: See picture apron. Jpg] "If she wasn't raving in delirium, " said Peter Piper, "we shall nothave any heads. You had better go back to the Castle tonight, Patsy. Racketty-Packetty House is no place for you. " Then Lady Patsy drew herself up so straight that she nearly fellover backwards. "I--will--_never_--leave you!" she said, and Peter Piper couldn'tmake her. You can just imagine what a doleful night it was. They went allover the house together and looked at every hole in the carpet andevery piece of stuffing sticking out of the dear old shabby sofas, and every broken window and chair leg and table and ragged blanket--and the tears ran down their faces for the first time in theirlives. About six o'clock in the morning Peter Piper made a lasteffort. [Transcriber's Note: See picture together. Jpg] "Let's all join hands in a circle, " he said quite faintly, "anddance round and round once more. " But it was no use. When they joined hands they could not dance, andwhen they found they could not dance they all tumbled down in aheap and cried instead of laughing and Lady Patsy lay with her armsround Peter Piper's neck. Now here is where I come in again--Queen Crosspatch--who is tellingyou this story. I always come in just at the nick of time whenpeople like the Racketty-Packettys are in trouble. I walked in atseven o'clock. "Get up off the floor, " I said to them all and they got up andstared at me. They actually thought I did not know what hadhappened. "A little girl Princess is coming this morning, " said Peter Piper, and our house is going to be burned over our heads. This is the endof Racketty-Packetty House. " "No, it isn't!" I said. "You leave this to me. I told the Princessto come here, though she doesn't know it in the least. " A whole army of my Working Fairies began to swarm in at the nurserywindow. The nurse was working very hard to put things in order andshe had not sense enough to see Fairies at all. So she did not seemine, though there were hundreds of them. As soon as she made onecorner tidy, they ran after her and made it untidy. They held herback by her dress and hung and swung on her apron until she couldscarcely move and kept wondering why she was so slow. She could notmake the nursery tidy and she was so flurried she forgot all aboutRacketty-Packetty House again--especially as my Working Fairiespushed the arm-chair close up to it so that it was quite hidden. And there it was when the little girl Princess came with her Ladiesin Waiting. My fairies had only just allowed the nurse to finishthe nursery. Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and PeterPiper and Lady Patsy were huddled up together looking out of onewindow. They could not bear to be parted. I sat on the arm of thebig chair and ordered my Working Fairies to stand ready to obey methe instant I spoke. The Princess was a nice child and was very polite to Cynthia whenshe showed her all her dolls, and last but not least, Tidy Castleitself. She looked at all the rooms and the furniture and saidpolite and admiring things about each of them. But Cynthia realizedthat she was not so much interested in it as she had thought shewould be. The fact was that the Princess had so many grand dolls'houses in her palace that Tidy Castle did not surprise her at all. It was just when Cynthia was finding this out that I gave the orderto my Working Fairies. "Push the arm-chair away, " I commanded; "very slowly, so that noone will know it is being moved. " So they moved it away--very, very slowly and no one saw that it hadstirred. But the next minute the little girl Princess gave adelightful start. "Oh! what is that!" she cried out, hurrying towards theunfashionable neighborhood behind the door. Cynthia blushed all over and the nurse actually turned pale. TheRacketty-Packettys tumbled down in a heap beneath their window andbegan to say their prayers very fast. "It is only a shabby old doll's house, your Highness, " Cynthiastammered out. "It belonged to my Grandmamma, and it ought not tobe in the nursery. I thought you had had it burned, Nurse!" "Burned!" the little girl Princess cried out in the most shockedway. "Why if it was mine, I wouldn't have it burned for worlds! Oh!please push the chair away and let me look at it. There are nodoll's houses like it anywhere in these days. " And when thearm-chair was pushed aside she scrambled down on to her knees justas if she was not a little girl Princess at all. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" she said. "How funny and dear! What a darling olddoll's house. It is shabby and wants mending, of course, but it isalmost exactly like one my Grandmamma had--she kept it among hertreasures and only let me look at it as a great, great treat. " Cynthia gave a gasp, for the little girl Princess's Grandmamma hadbeen the Queen and people had knelt down and kissed her hand andhad been obliged to go out of the room backwards before her. The little girl Princess was simply filled with joy. She picked upMeg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Gustibus and Peter Piper as if theyhad been really a Queen's dolls. "Oh! the darling dears, " she said. "Look at their nice, queer facesand their funny clothes. Just--just like Grandmamma's dollies'clothes. Only these poor things do so want new ones. Oh! how Ishould like to dress them again just as they used to be dressed, and have the house all made just as it used to be when it was new. " "That old Racketty-Packetty House, " said Cynthia, losing herbreath. "If it were mine I should make it just like Grandmamma's and Ishould love it more than any doll's house I have. I never--never--never--saw anything as nice and laughing and good natured as thesedolls' faces. They look as if they had been having fun ever sincethey were born. Oh! if you were to burn them and their home I--Icould never forgive you!" "I never--never--will, --your Highness, " stammered Cynthia, quiteoverwhelmed. Suddenly she started forward. "Why, there is the lost doll!" she cried out. "There is Lady Patsy. How did she get into Racketty-Packetty House?" "Perhaps she went there to see them because they were so poor andshabby, " said the little girl Princess. "Perhaps she likes thisone, " and she pointed to Peter Piper. "Do you know when I pickedhim up their arms were about each other. Please let her stay withhim. Oh!" she cried out the next instant and jumped a little. "Ifelt as if the boy one kicked his leg. " And it was actually true, because Peter Piper could not help it andhe had kicked out his ragged leg for joy. He had to be very carefulnot to kick any more when he heard what happened next. As the Princess liked Racketty-Packetty House so much, Cynthia gaveit to her for a present--and the Princess was really happy--andbefore she went away she made a little speech to the wholeRacketty-Packetty family, whom she had set all in a row in theragged old, dear old, shabby old drawing-room where they had had somuch fun. "You are going to come and live with me, funny, good-naturedloves, " she said. "And you shall all be dressed beautifully againand your house shall be mended and papered and painted and made aslovely as ever it was. And I am going to like you better than allmy other dolls' houses--just as Grandmamma said she liked hers. "And then she was gone. And every bit of it came true. Racketty-Packetty House was carriedto a splendid Nursery in a Palace, and Meg and Peg and Kilmanskegand Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper were made so gorgeousthat if they had nest been so nice they would have grown proud. Butthey didn't. They only grew jollier and jollier and Peter Pipermarried Lady Patsy, and Ridiklis's left leg was mended and she waspainted into a beauty again--but she always remained the usefulone. And the dolls in the other dolls' houses used to make deepcurtsies when a Racketty-Packetty House doll passed them, and PeterPiper could scarcely stand it because it always made him want tostand on his head and laugh--and so when they were curtsied at--because they were related to the Royal Dolls House--they used torun into their drawing room and fall into fits of giggles and theycould only stop them by all joining hands together in a ring anddancing round and round and round and kicking up their heels andlaughing until they tumbled down in a heap. [Transcriber's Note: See picture curtsies. Jpg] And what do you think of that for a story. And doesn't it prove toyou what a valuable Friend a Fairy is--particularly a Queen one?