PRINCE VANCE

[Illustration]

PRINCE VANCE

The Story of a Prince with a Court in his Box

BY

ELEANOR PUTNAM and ARLO BATES

_ILLUSTRATED BY FRANK MYRICK_

 BOSTON ROBERTS BROTHERS 1888

 _Copyright, 1888_, BY ARLO BATES. 

 University Press: JOHN WILSON AND SON, CAMBRIDGE, U. S. A. 

_TO THE BOY ORIC_

 _Dear son, this twisted, tangled web of whims For you was woven while you scarcely knew The simplest speech men use; but infant limbs, That round and smooth in dimpled fairness grew, Waved for all word in a babe's perfect glee, So wondrous sweet to see. _

 _It is not stranger than this world must seem To one who its vagaries first does scan; It is less weird than the enchanted dream Which life may change to ere you be a man. Such as it is, take it for this alone, -- That it is all your own. _

 _Those who together wrought its colors gay, And its fantastic warp and woof entwined, May not again for you in work or play Together labor. Yet the loving mind In which they then were one will still be one Till life and sense be done. _

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 

 Page

 THE FAIRY COPETTA AND THE PRINCE _Frontispiece_

 INITIAL: Chapter I 15

 INITIAL: Chapter II 20

 "'Come, ' he said to the Prince, in rather an injured tone" 21

 "He picked up the poor tutor, and putting him on the window-sill laughed at him" 24

 TAILPIECE: "'It is in here, ' the Blue Wizard said, holding out a pretty gold bonbon box" 25

 INITIAL: Chapter III 26

 THE ROYAL TABLE, WITH THE COURT SHRINKING 27

 "'Oh, as to that, ' the Blue Wizard answered carelessly, giving the King in turn a bath in the finger-bowl" 31

 TAILPIECE: "He seated his royal mother on the top of the sugar-bowl" 33

 INITIAL: Chapter IV 34

 TAILPIECE: THE HISSING SWANS 40

 INITIAL: Chapter V 41

 "The Lord Chancellor, who seemed to be always in trouble, picked some sort of quarrel with a large green grasshopper" 44

 "He moved from a bunch of thistles which he had carefully stripped to the next" 46

 INITIAL: Chapter VI 50

 "'How do you know?' demanded the raven, fixing his glittering eye on the Prince" 51

 "But presently a little window opened in the side of the tree trunk, from which a wrinkled old face looked out" 56

 INITIAL: Chapter VII 59

 "'But I want it in my mouth, ' sighed the man on the ground" 61

 "A second man stood on an overturned bucket and blew into the mouth of the first with a pair of bellows" 63

 "'What's all this?' the Prince asked of one who seemed of some authority" 66

 INITIAL: Chapter VIII 68

 The Court on the Fisherman's Table 71

 INITIAL: Chapter IX 76

 "He stopped in amazement, and no wonder" 77

 TAILPIECE: THE GIANT'S CASTLE 81

 INITIAL: Chapter X 82

 PRINCE VANCE ON THE GIANT'S HAND 83

 "'I should not wonder, now, ' she said, 'if my husband would give these things to me; they are too small to be of any use except as seasoning'" 90

 INITIAL: Chapter XI 93

 INITIAL: Chapter XII 97

 "'There!' she exclaimed, as she held it toward him, 'there it is; and good enough eating for a royal prince'" 99

 "'But, ' asked the Prince, 'does nobody know anything? Has nobody any sense?'" 101

 TAILPIECE: "'Why don't you catch me?'" 104

 INITIAL: Chapter XIII 105

 "Now that at last he was standing still, the Prince perceived his nose was of a most peculiar and curious fashion" 107

 "'Simply a sort of slow-match; grows in the daytime as much as it burns away at night'" 110

 INITIAL: Chapter XIV 112

 At the Funny Man's Table 113

 INITIAL: Chapter XV 118

 "The monkey, looking up, wiped its eyes upon a small lace handkerchief, which was already quite damp enough" 121

 TAILPIECE: "At this the monkey wept so violently" 125

 INITIAL: Chapter XVI 126

 "He was a good-natured-looking old man; but his head, body, arms, and legs, even his features, were twisted" 127

 INITIAL: Chapter XVII 130

 "The Prince took the spade and began to dig, though not very hopefully" 134

 THE WIZARD MAKING A CAT'S-CRADLE 137

 INITIAL: Chapter XVIII 140

 "'Don't quibble!' retorted the cat, sharply" 143

 INITIAL: Chapter XIX 146

 "As the last stroke of twelve ceased, out stepped the Fairy Copetta" 148

PRINCE VANCE. 

I. 

It was certainly not strange that Prince Vance was so stupefied withastonishment that he sat for a full half-hour foolishly staring beforehim, without an effort to move a muscle or to stir from his seat. Indeed, it is probable that any other prince in the same circumstanceswould have been equally struck dumb with amazement, --as any one may seewho will attend while I go back to the beginning, and relate what hadhappened. 

By the beginning is meant the birth of Prince Vance, when the powerfulfairy Copetta had been chosen his godmother, since which time shecertainly had not devoted herself to being agreeable to the Prince. Shehad insisted, for instance, that her godson should pay attention to hislessons; that he should show respect to his tutors; and, what was mostoutrageous of all, that he, Prince Vance, only son of his parents andsole heir to the kingdom, should learn to obey. She had coolly informedher godson, moreover, that if he did not obey her willingly, it wouldcertainly be the worse for him; since learn he must, by harsh means, ifno others would move him. 

All this seemed to Vance a most unpleasant and unreasonable sort oftalk, and, as may be imagined, it did not increase his love for hisgodmother. So things had gone on from bad to worse between them untilVance was a fine, lusty lad beginning his teens, when one day the BlueWizard came to court. 

Vance had been having a remarkably unpleasant scene with his godmotherthat morning. She had come popping into the school-room, in adisagreeable way she had of appearing when she was least expected; and, of course, nothing would do but she must come at the exact moment whenthe Prince was engaged in boxing his tutor's ears (withoutboxing-gloves), because the poor old man wanted him to learn theboundaries of what would some day be his own kingdom. 

"You shall see the boundaries by travelling over them all on foot, " thefairy had said crossly. "You are growing up idle, selfish, anddisobedient; a shame to your godmother and a disgrace to your family. You will be associating with the Blue Wizard next, I dare say!"

"Yes, so I will, " the Prince answered stubbornly; for though he reallyhad never heard of the Blue Wizard before, he would have said anythingjust then to vex his godmother, --"so I will. I should like to see him. Ireally wish he would come this very day!"

"As for me, you evil boy!" Copetta said, more angrily yet, striking hercane sharply upon the ground, "you shall want me badly enough before youfind me, I promise you; and sorrow shall have made you wiser before youlook upon my face again. "

"Not that I shall miss you much, with your scoldings andfault-findings!" replied the saucy Prince; and as she vanished beforehis eyes, according to her startling custom, he began shying his booksat the head of his tutor, to the great discomfort of that unhappy man, who thought that his lot in life was indeed a sad one, and wishedhimself a wood-cutter in the royal forest, or indeed anything ratherthan what he was. 

When his pile of books was quite gone, and the blackboard erasers, thebits of crayon, and the pointer had been thrown after them, the Princeput his hands in his pockets and lounged to the window, whistling a tunehe had caught from a hand-organ. His twelve younger sisters were justcoming into the courtyard, two by two, returning from taking theirmorning airing with their governesses. The Princesses were quite as goodas the Prince was bad, and there could certainly have been no prettiersight than that of the twelve royal little girls walking along soproperly and primly. Each had a green velvet pelisse, a neat Leghornbonnet, and a green fringed parasol; each wore nice buff mitts and agood-tempered smile, and each had a complexion like pink and whiteice-cream, and eyes like pretty blue beads. It was therefore verynaughty indeed of Prince Vance to shout "Boh!" so loudly that eachPrincess started and hopped quite one foot from the ground, and even thegovernesses put their hands to their hearts. This, however, gave muchjoy to the Prince; and after his sisters had disappeared he stood by thewindow still whistling, with his hands in his pockets and a wicked grinon his face. 

"Your Royal Highness, " began the tutor, meekly, "your Highness reallymust not put your Highness's hands in your Highness's trousers pockets, and whistle that dreadful tune. If her Royal Highness the Queen shouldhear you, she would certainly have me beheaded. "

"Why should I care for that?" asked the Prince, carelessly; and just atthat moment he caught sight of the Blue Wizard himself coming into thecourt below. 

II

Whatever else might be said of the Blue Wizard, nobody would ever thinkof calling him a beauty. His nose and his chin were long and pointed, his eyebrows big and bushy, his teeth sharp and protruding from hismouth; and everything about him--skin, hair, teeth, and dress--was asblue as a sky on a June afternoon when not a cloud is to be seen. Hehad, too, a way of perking his head about, which was most unsettling tothe nerves; twitching and twisting it constantly from side to side, likea toy mandarin. He came boldly into the courtyard of the palace, quiteas if the whole place belonged to him; and catching sight of PrinceVance at the window above, he raised one finger, long and skinny andblue as a larkspur blossom, and beckoned for him to come down. 

The Prince hesitated. Certainly the Blue Wizard was not so charming inhis looks as to make one wish to get any nearer to him, but Vancehappened to remember that his godmother had seemed to disapprove mosthighly of this very wizard; so with an idea of displeasing Copetta, thePrince obeyed the beckoning finger and went down. 

[Illustration]

At a nearer view the Wizard looked even uglier than from a distance. Hisvery lips were blue, and when he opened his mouth his tongue was seen tobe blue also. 

"Come, " he said to the Prince, in rather an injured tone, "you keep mewaiting long enough, I hope, when I only came to teach you a drolltrick. "

"That is good, " answered Vance, growing interested at once. "I do likedroll tricks. What is it?"

"It is in here, " the Blue Wizard said, holding out a pretty gold bonbonbox. "Just make anybody eat one of these, and then you shall see whatyou shall see. "

The Prince took the box in his hand and opened his lips to ask anotherquestion; but before he could speak a single word the Blue Wizard hadvanished quite away, and he stood alone. 

He went slowly and thoughtfully upstairs, wondering what the trick couldbe. 

"I'll try it on the tutor first, " he concluded, "because I'm sure Idon't care what happens to him, and I really must know what the drolltrick is. "

So he went smilingly up to his tutor and offered the open box; and thesimple old gentleman, suspecting nothing, bowed and simpered at thegreat honor his Royal Highness did him, and quickly swallowed one ofthe little bonbons. 

And this is what happened. Pouf! The unfortunate tutor shut up like acrush-hat, and shrunk together until he was as short as a pygmy and asplump as a mushroom. Really one might just as well have no tutor at allas to have one so tiny. How Prince Vance did laugh! Of all the wizardshe had ever known--and for one so young his Highness had known a greatmany wizards; he almost always met more or less of them when he playedtruant by climbing out of a back window and going into the woodsfishing--he thought the Blue Wizard was the most amusing and hadinvented the very drollest trick. 

"Dear me, your Highness!" said the poor tutor, in so tiny a voice thatit was quite all the Prince could do to hear him. "Dear me! what is thematter? I certainly feel very queer; I do, indeed. "

"You look even queerer than you feel, I fancy, " replied the naughtyPrince, chuckling with glee. 

[Illustration]

He picked up the poor tutor, and putting him on the window-sill laughedat him till his sides were fairly sore. Then he began to consider how hecould get the most fun and make the most mischief out of his bonbons, for there were not a great many of them; and, being a shrewd youngrascal, he at last contrived the plan of putting them into the ice-creamwhich was then being frozen for the royal dinner. Then everybody wouldbe sure to get a taste at least of the magic potion; and slipping downinto the kitchen, the wicked young Prince succeeded in carrying out thisevil and dangerous plan. 

[Illustration]

III

Everybody looked at the Prince when at dinner he declined ice-cream. Itwas unheard of. Nobody had ever known him to do such a thing before. Thetwelve young Princesses, though much too well bred to remark upon it, stared at their brother with their twenty-four beady blue eyes, and madetheir twelve little mouths as round as penny pieces in their surprise. 

Now the King, being fond of ice-cream, happened to eat quite steadilyfor some moments without stopping; so that when he did look up he beheldhis Queen already shrunk to the size of a teaspoon, and every momentgrowing smaller. 

"My dear, " said he, gravely, "really I don't think you ought, --beforethe children too; just consider what a bad example you are settingthem. "

[Illustration]

"I'm sure, Sire, " replied the Queen, rather crossly, for the suddenshrinking had given her quite a giddy feeling, --"I'm sure I cannotimagine what you are talking about. Bad example, indeed! You had betterbe looking to your own behavior. What the children will think of you forgrowing so very small, I'm sure I cannot imagine. "

At this moment the royal pair looked about on their daughters. They wereabout the size of lucifer matches! They ran their eyes down the longtable; every person there was a pygmy. 

Horror and fear filled every mind save that of Prince Vance. He nearlywent wild with joy over the great success of his trick. He had, it istrue, run out of the dining-hall at first, from his old habit ofstarting off whenever he had performed any of his abominable jokes; buthe soon ventured to come back again, and round and round the table hewent, laughing as if he would kill himself at the tiny people sprawlinghelplessly in their big chairs. 

The Prince helped himself to fruit and cakes and bonbons from thetable. He seated his royal mother on top of the sugar-bowl, and put thepoor old King in the salt-cellar. As for the Lord Chancellor, whom heespecially hated, Vance dumped the bewigged old fop into the pepper-box, where he would really have sneezed himself to death in another minute, had not the Blue Wizard fortunately appeared and given the unhappy man asudden bath in a finger-bowl. 

"It worked well, didn't it?" the Blue Wizard observed with a grin, as heput the Lord Chancellor, very white and limp, on the window-seat to dryin the sun. 

"Oh, awfully well!" Vance replied briskly, although secretly he was morethan a little afraid of this particular wizard, who seemed to be muchmore sudden in his way of appearing and disappearing than the commonsort of wizards to which the Prince was accustomed. 

"The worst of it is, " remarked the Wizard, thoughtfully, pulling hisbushy eyebrows with his long blue fingers, "you can't change 'em back. "

"What!" exclaimed the Prince, in his confusion dropping his father intothe pudding sauce and entirely ruining the royal robes. "Can't changethem back? But you must change them back if I tell you to. "

[Illustration]

"Oh, as to that, " the Blue Wizard answered carelessly, giving the kingin turn a bath in the finger-bowl, "what you say isn't of the leastconsequence any way. In the first place, no wizard is bound to obeyanybody who does not himself know how to obey; and in the second place, nobody can undo this particular charm but the Crushed StrawberryWizard. "

"Very well, then, " said Vance, imperiously, paying no attention whateverto the first part of the Blue Wizard's remark; "go and get the CrushedStrawberry Wizard. "

"Get him yourself!" was the answer. "_I_ don't want him. It is nothingto me, you know; this isn't my family. "

"But where does the Crushed Strawberry Wizard live?" asked the Prince, more humbly. 

"I'm sure I've no idea, " the Blue Wizard replied lightly; "and now Ithink of it, I don't believe I care. I'm sure I don't see why I should. "

"But it's all your fault, " blubbered Vance, beginning to cry, andsitting down upon his uncle, the Duke Ogee, without even noticing himtill the Duke wriggled so that Vance jumped up in a fright, thinking hehad sat down upon a frog. "I'm sure you got me into the scrape. "

"Now you're getting tiresome, " said the Wizard, yawning. "I never likedtiresome people myself. "

"But I don't know what to do-oo!" sobbed the Prince. 

At this the Wizard only gave a terrible laugh and vanished quite awayagain, leaving the naughty young Prince to get out of his trouble asbest he could. 

[Illustration]

IV

For a few moments Prince Vance continued to cry rather noisily, thoughit must be confessed that it was more because he was so vexed at theBlue Wizard than because he was at all sorry for what he had done. Indeed, he did not even now realize that the trick was likely to turnout a very serious thing; and after a while he dried his eyes, andhaving collected his wits proceeded to collect also all the littlepeople and put them together at one end of the royal dining-table. 

They made such a pretty sight, with their little court robes and tinyjewels, that Vance was charmed with them and declared them to be moreinteresting than white mice or even guinea pigs. He could hear them, too, if he listened very closely indeed, quarrelling and blaming oneanother for what had befallen them; and this was so vastly funny to thewicked Prince that he rubbed his hands and fairly danced again withglee. It was only when the palace cat, pouncing upon the Lord Chancelloras he lay upon the window-sill, snatched him and carried him off in hermouth, that Vance began to be a little frightened, and to realize that, having made the whole family unable to protect themselves, it had nowbecome his duty to care for them and see that they came to no harm. Hejust managed to save the Lord Chancellor from the lantern jaws of theroyal cat, and then proceeded at once to set his small family in safeplaces for the night. Some he put in the crystal lily-cups of thechandeliers; others in the crannies of the golden mouldings on the wall;while for the King and Queen and the twelve little Princesses, he founda lovely chamber in a pink porcelain shell which hung from the ceilingby silver chains, and was commonly used for the burning of perfumes andspices to make the air of the dining-hall sweet and delightful. All thisbeing attended to, the Prince betook himself to bed; but the palaceseemed very lonely and silent, and the Prince was so dull and sofrightened that he might not have gone to sleep at all, save for thecheering thought that at least there was no danger of lessons on themorrow, as the tutor was too small to teach, and his father and motherfar too little to make him obey. 

"I will go to the preserve closets, " he murmured to himself as he wasdropping off to sleep. "There is now nobody to stop me. I shall beginwith the damsons and the honey in the morning, and I shall have all thewedding cake and macaroons that I can possibly eat. "

But, alas for the Prince! when morning came he found that affairs wereturning out differently indeed from the way in which he had planned. When he came down to breakfast, with his foolish head full of visions ofordering the cook to send up pigeon pot-pie, curry of larks, strongcoffee, --which was a forbidden delight to the Prince except upon hisbirthdays, --and unlimited buttered toast and jam, what a downfall to allhis hopes was it to find, pacing the dining-hall, the fierce and cruelGeneral Bopi, who, luckily for himself, had been out hunting the daybefore, and so missed the fatal dinner, and was still quite as large aslife if not larger. He had discovered the state of affairs at thepalace; and so far from making himself unhappy about this, he wasevidently in great good spirits, and, to say the least, was disposed tomake the best of matters instead of the worst. He had put on the King'svery best crown which was kept to be worn only on great occasions, andwith a cloak of royal ermine on his shoulders was strutting boldly upand down, enjoying his new splendors and the feeling of power which theybrought. 

How it happened Vance never was quite able to tell, but the first thinghe knew, his dreams of having his own way and ordering the servantsabout to his heart's content were shattered, and he found himselfsomehow pushed and hustled outside on the palace steps, --himself, thePrince, and heir to the royal throne, turned away from his own door andordered to leave the kingdom on pain of death. 

"But my family!" cried Vance; "I hid them from the cat, and now theywill starve. Nobody can find them but me!"

"As for their starving, " the General replied indifferently, "I don'tknow that I care for that; but I would rather the palace should be ridof the whole vermin race of them, so you may come in and gather them up. But be quick about it, or I'll set the royal bloodhounds on you!"

Thus roughly treated, the poor Prince made haste to collect hisscattered family from the nooks and crannies where he had hidden them. He was cramming them into his pockets with very little thought for theirfeelings, when he happened to remember his sister's baby-house, whichnot only had parlors, bedrooms, and dining-rooms in plenty, but was wellfurnished with everything which the heart of little people could desire. This he begged very humbly of the new king, and having it granted him hepacked his family into it, making them as comfortable as their reducedcircumstances would allow. A grinning footman strapped the box on theback of the Prince as an organ-grinder carries his organ; then hehelped him out of the palace with a sudden push which had nearly senthim headlong down the steps. Laughing pages ran before him, and thePrince recalled the many times he had tweaked their noses and stuck pinsin the calves of their legs. Everybody seemed heartily glad to see himgo. 

"Good riddance to bad rubbish!" quoth the palace hound; "you will neveragain put my meat up a tree where I cannot get it. "

"Get out with you!" snapped the royal cat. "I'm glad you are turned outof the house. Let us hope a body can take a nap in comfort now, withouthaving her tail stepped on or snuff sprinkled in her face. "

"Don't trouble yourself ever to come back, " screeched the peacock, hoarsely. "For my part, I'm tired of having my handsomest tail-featherssnatched out by the handful. I'm sure I trust I shall never set eyes onyou again. "

So it was with all the animals in the royal gardens. The deer, the emus, the gazelles, the swans, the flamingoes, the parrots, even his ownparticular white mice and spotted guinea pigs, declared that they wereglad he was going, and hoped he might never come back any more. Not acreature did anything but rejoice as the royal beggar was tumbled rudelyout from his own father's gardens and left standing alone in thehighway, already heartily sorry for his prank, and quite at his wits'end as to what to do with the Court which he carried in his baggage. 

[Illustration]

V

Considering that Prince Vance had never done anything at all forhimself, not even so much as to tie his own shoe-strings, it was apretty hard lot for him to be turned out into the world to get his ownliving, and take care of the whole Court besides. At first he was almosttempted to throw away the box and all his relatives with it; butalthough of course he could not be expected to think so much of hisfather and mother now that there was so very little of them to be fondof, still under all his follies Vance had a good sort of heart, and sohe trudged away with the troublesome little Court strapped tightly tohis shoulders. I am not perfectly sure that he did not take somepleasure in jolting it about, for I have more than once seen little folkbang and jerk bundles they were made to carry against their wills. Atany rate, the King and the Queen and the Court came very near beingseasick upon dry land, from the jolting and rocking of this new mannerof travelling. 

Prince Vance had not the least idea where he was going. He knew, ofcourse, that he wanted to find the Crushed Strawberry Wizard, but he didnot know where that individual lived, or how to go to work to find him;so he only made his best pace to get away from the palace as fast as hecould, being afraid that the new king might repent of not having takenhis head from his shoulders, and send somebody after him. 

It was about sunset when he came to a beautiful field which lay alongthe banks of a wide dark river; and Vance, who by this time was halfstarved, was delighted that wild strawberries grew here in great plenty, making the ground quite red. He first looked about for somebody to pickthem for him, but naturally he found no one; so he set down his luggageand fell to helping himself, eating very fast and paying very littleattention to the rules of good society. 

It was not until he had stuffed himself to the throat that he happenedto think that his travelling companions might also be hungry. He openedthe box and let them out, and found much pleasure in watching theirfunny antics as they stumbled over tiny pebbles or became entangled inthe grass and struggled helplessly as if caught in some horriblethicket. Two or three would seat themselves around one ripe berry, anddine from it where it was growing; others drank drops of the eveningdew, which already shone in the clover leaves and buttercups; while theLord Chancellor, who seemed to be always getting into trouble, pickedsome sort of quarrel with a large green grasshopper, --and so terribledid the battle become that there is no telling who would have come outof it alive had not Vance gone to the poor Lord's help and frightenedthe insect away. 

Under all these trying circumstances the poor nobles kept something oftheir court manners; and their smiles and stately movements, theirbowings and courtesies, seemed to Prince Vance so droll that he wentinto violent fits of laughter and rolled about on the grass. 

[Illustration]

As it grew dark he did indeed stop laughing and think longingly of hissoft bed with its silken pillows and down coverings, but in truth he wasso tired he could hardly keep his eyes open at all; and as soon as hehad picked his small relatives and friends out of the damp grass and putthem safely into their box, he lay down under a spreading beech-tree andfell into a sound and delicious sleep. 

The morning found the Prince somewhat refreshed and gave him a freshdetermination. He resolved to set out at once on the search for theCrushed Strawberry Wizard, leaving no means untried until he discoveredhim and prevailed upon him to change the transformed Court to its formercondition. He shouldered his box and started bravely on the road, notknowing at all where he was going, and already beginning to regret thathe had not paid to his lessons at least sufficient attention to havelearned in which direction his own kingdom extended. 

He had walked an hour or two when he saw by the roadside a man engagedin gathering the down from the tall thistles that grew by the way. 

"Hallo!" cried the Prince; "what do you expect to do with that?"

"Beds, " answered the man, shortly, and without stopping his work. 

"Oh!" Vance said, seating himself on a stone and putting down his boxbeside him. "You make beds of it, do you? They must be very soft. "

"Dandelion, " replied the man. 

"Dandelion?" repeated the Prince. "That doesn't mean anything. "

[Illustration]

The man nodded his head in a knowing way, but said nothing. He was astrange-looking individual, with clothing which was made of all sorts ofodds and ends pieced together; while so lean and wizened was he that itmade the Prince hungry only to look at him. 

"Do you mean that dandelion down makes better beds?" asked Vance, whosewits were being sharpened by his travels. 

The other nodded. 

"Then why in the world couldn't you say so? You are not dumb. "

"Breath, " returned the little thin man, briefly. 

He moved from the bunch of thistles which he had stripped to the next, turning as he did so and carefully picking up his footprints to use overagain and save himself the trouble of making new ones. 

"You are certainly the most economical man I ever saw, " declared thePrince, irritably. "I wouldn't be so mean with my old footprints; nobodyelse would bother to pick them up. And as for breath, you might spare alittle more of that; it doesn't cost anything. "

The man paid no especial attention to these rather uncivil remarks, butwent on in his work with great diligence. 

"Do talk a little!" Vance said, becoming more and more impatient everymoment. "At least you can tell me how to find the Crushed StrawberryWizard?"

"Why?" asked the man, with the first show of interest he had displayed. 

"I'm going in search of him. "

"Wouldn't, " was the little man's reply. 

"Why not?"

"Dreadfully wearing on shoes, " the other answered. 

Then he stopped and collected the breath which he had used in thisspeech, --for him a very long one, --and went on steadily pickingthistledown. 

"But I must find him, " Vance persisted, vexed anew at this reply; "wheredoes he live?"

"Don't know, " said the thistledown-gatherer, shortly. 

Vance arose from the stone with an impatient flounce, and took up hisbox so suddenly that the teeth of all the Court chattered. 

"Well, " he said snappishly, "you are certainly the stingiest man I eversaw. You can't even give away a civil word. "

"Oh, no!" returned the old man, with an expression of greatastonishment. "Never give anything away. What will you give for yourdolls?"

Now, this question might sound like pure idiocy to some people; butfunnily enough it came into the head of Vance that when he had beenteasing those twelve models of propriety, his sisters, a few daysbefore, and had made their blue bead-like eyes swim with tears by takingaway their playthings, he had used just those very same words to them. He hung his head a little; but still, determined to put a bold face onthe matter, he said, --

"Don't talk nonsense! Tell me the way to the Crushed Strawberry Wizard'sthis minute!"

But, to his surprise, where the queer old man had stood there was only aseedy black raven, very battered and ragged, but with a remarkable pairof glittering red eyes. 

VI

"I must say, " the raven remarked severely, "that, considering the factthat nobody invited you to come to this concert at all, and that youhave no check for a reserved seat, it would look better in you to keepquiet and not disturb the entertainment. "

"Concert!" exclaimed Vance, in bewilderment. "There isn't any concert. "

"But there is going to be, " returned the bird, more severely thanbefore. "I'm going to sing myself. First, I shall sing a love-song. Bequiet!"

And without further ado he began, in a terribly hoarse and crackedvoice, --

 "Snip-snap, frip-frap, Bungalee, tee hee lees; Jip-jap; nip-nap, Tungatee tinum gee me strap, Bring me a bottle of cheese. "

"Oh, come, " exclaimed the Prince, "you must really know that that isnonsense! It certainly means nothing. "

[Illustration]

"How do you know?" demanded the raven, fixing his glittering eye on thePrince. "Do you understand the language of love?"

"No, " said Vance, more humbly; "I must confess that I don't, though I'vealways heard it was very silly. "

"Speaking of the boundaries of a king--" the raven began easily; but thePrince interrupted in great haste. 

"Nobody _was_ speaking of boundaries, " he said sharply; "you made thatup yourself. "

"--dom, " resumed the raven, calmly, paying no sort of attention to theinterruption of the Prince, but cocking his head on one side and lookingwickedly out of one eye, "they are very useful to know, and there arevarious ways of learning them. Some people learn them in the schoolroom; that's one way: some travel; that's--"

But before he could get any farther Vance had caught up a stone andflung it at him. With a terrible croaking the raven flew up into the airin circles higher and higher until he vanished straight overhead. 

"Ten to one that was Godmother herself, " grumbled Vance, as he picked uphis box and started again along the dusty road. 

All the rest of the day he travelled, growing more and more weary, untilat sunset he came to a very old woman sitting beside a great tree uponthe river's bank. 

"Hallo!" cried Vance, not too politely. 

The wrinkled old creature looked at the river, at the tree, at thesky, --everywhere, in a word, except at the travel-stained Vance. 

"Come!" he said more roughly yet, "why don't you speak when you arespoken to? Do you know who I am?"

The aged crone wrinkled her forehead and lifted her grizzled eyebrows, still without looking at him. 

"No, " she answered coolly, "I don't know that I do. You look like aboot-black with that box on your shoulders, only that a boot-black wouldbe more civil-spoken. "

An angry retort sprang to the lips of the Prince, but before he couldgive vent to it a terrible little shrill sound from the box struck hisears. In sudden dismay he unslung the baby-house, and opened it todiscover what was the matter with his family. 

In the middle of the floor of the largest room of the baby-house wereall the Court, gathered about the old King, who had fallen in a faintfrom hunger. 

"He is starved!" cried the Queen, in a piercing wee voice of anguish. 

"I am starving myself!" roared the Lord Chamberlain, in a keen thoughtiny roar. 

"We are all starving!" shrieked the whole Court, in voices more or lessaudible. 

"Well, " Vance said, looking at the affliction of the little people, "Imust say this is extremely disagreeable of them all to be starving. Theyalways are starving. "

"Very, " the old woman echoed, with a sneering chuckle. 

As she spoke, she took from beneath her faded cloak a basket in whichwere delicate white cakes, fruits, and honey. These she began to eatwith great relish, apparently not at all interested in the Prince or hisfamily. 

"Come, now, " cried he, "give me some of that! My Court is half dead. "

"Really?" she returned, coolly munching away. 

"Yes, " shouted Vance, vainly attempting to snatch something from thewell-filled basket, "and I must have a cake to feed them on. "

The old lady made no resistance, but only flitted up like a bird, insome unaccountable way, to a limb of a tree, where she sat eating asplacidly as ever. 

"Goodness!" said poor Vance, startled half out of his wits, "are youGodmother too? You shy about just like her. "

"She is a friend of mine, " answered the old woman. "I know all aboutyou, too, for that matter. "

There was nothing left for Vance but to beg for pity, and at last thestrange creature threw him down half a small cake. 

"There's plenty for your family. "

Vance provided for his little people, and then began humbly to beg for afew morsels for himself. 

"Wait, " said the woman on the bough overhead, "till I see what there isin the pantry. "

She disappeared with great suddenness; but presently a little windowopened in the side of the tree trunk, from which the wrinkled old facelooked out. 

[Illustration]

"Here are a few dry crusts from the closet, " she said. "You may havethem. With a little honey I think they will go very well. "

She handed two or three mouldy scraps of bread out as she spoke, whichVance took with as good grace as he could muster. 

"Where is the honey?" he asked, eying his crusts ruefully. 

"Oh, I'll eat the honey while you eat the crusts, " was the answer. "Thatis by far the best way to arrange it. "

"You are mean enough, I hope, " he exclaimed angrily. 

But, alas! at the word the crusts left his grasp and appeared in thehand of the old woman. 

"Oh, very well, " she said, "just as you please! You are not obliged tohave them, of course. "

Poor Vance was ready to cry with vexation and hunger, and quite brokedown at this last misfortune. He begged so humbly for the crusts that atlast the queer old crone relented and gave them back; and never didanything taste sweeter to him than these dry and mouldy morsels ofbread. 

"You may sleep where you are, " the woman said as he finished; and sheclosed the window with a slam, leaving it impossible to say where it hadbeen. 

"Oh, by the way, " she cried, a moment later, sticking her head throughthe bark of the tree, in a way that looked very uncomfortable indeed, "about those boundaries, you know, and the Crushed Strawberry Wizard, Iwas going to say--But, no; on the whole, it's no matter. "

And once more she disappeared, not again to be seen. 

"I must say, " muttered Prince Vance, "strange things happen to me allthe time. "

And curling himself up on the moss, he fell fast asleep from weariness. 

VII

The morning sun shining into his eyes awakened him; and after lookingabout carefully to assure himself that there was nothing to be had toeat in that place, Vance shouldered his box and trudged along theriver's bank. It was a beautiful bright morning; the birds were singing, the flowers were opening to the light, and had it not been for aconstantly growing hunger, the young traveller might have enjoyed hiswalk greatly. As it was, he soon became so hungry that he could think ofnothing but eating. He went on, however, until about noon, before hefound any food; then to his great joy he came upon a fine tree hangingfull of ripe peaches, rosy and plump as a baby's cheek. 

"Now for a feast!" he said eagerly to himself, as he put down his boxand prepared to gather a hatful of the delicious fruit. 

Just then he stumbled over something, and looking down saw a man lyingon the grass with his eyes shut and his mouth open. 

"Hallo!" exclaimed the Prince. "Who are you? Are you awake or asleep?"

"Awake, " answered the man, without stirring. 

"Why don't you get up then?" asked Vance. "Are you ill?"

"No, " replied the man, briefly. 

And indeed he was as stout a fellow as one would meet in a summer's day. 

"Then what are you doing?" demanded the Prince, who had lost allpatience and who thought that the other might at least take the troubleto open his eyes to see who was talking to him. 

"Waiting, " the man said, opening his eyes at last. 

"Waiting for what?"

"For a peach to drop into my mouth. "

"One has fallen beside your cheek, " said Vance, "and another right inyour hand. "

[Illustration]

"But I want it in my mouth, " sighed the man on the ground. "I am sodreadfully hungry. "

"So dreadfully lazy, you mean, " exclaimed Vance, quite out of patience;and he began to eat the luscious fruit. "You must certainly be thelaziest man in the world. "

"If you think that, " was the drawling answer, "you ought to see mycousin Loto, who lives down the river a mile as the crow flies. "

"He'll have to be lazy, indeed, to beat you, " the Prince said, as heonce more shouldered his box. "Do you know where the Crushed StrawberryWizard lives?"

"I know, " returned the man, "but I'm too lazy to tell. "

"It wouldn't take you any longer to tell than to say you can't tell, "cried Vance, hotly. 

"Perhaps not, " was the cool retort; "but if I told it would be doingsomething, and I never do anything. "

The Prince started on his way without another word. He did not even stopto put a peach into the lazy man's open mouth, as he at first had somethought of doing. He kept along beside the river for some time, and hadnearly forgotten the words of the lazy man about his cousin, whensuddenly he came upon what to his horror he at first supposed to be thebody of some thief hanging from a tree. As he got closer, however, hefound that the man was alive and suspended by a belt which went underhis arms. The man did not seem in the least to mind being hung, butlooked quite calm and peaceful. A second man stood upon an overturnedbucket and blew into the mouth of the first with a pair of bellows. 

[Illustration]

"What are you doing?" asked Vance curiously, as he stopped beside them. 

"Why, " replied the man with the bellows, "this fellow is too lazy tostand, so we have to hang him up; and he is too lazy to breathe forhimself, so he pays me a groat a day to do it for him with the bellows. "

"I saw a man up the river who was too lazy to eat, " observed Vance. "Ithought he was bad enough, but this is surely the laziest man alive. "

"If you think that, " the blower answered, "you should see his cousinGobbo, who lives a mile farther down the river as the crow flies. "

At this Vance was reminded that nightfall was not very far off, and oncemore he started on his way. The man with the bellows jumped down fromhis bucket and ran eagerly after him. He was a simple-looking man, witha large and frog-like mouth. 

"It creeps in the family, " he whispered hoarsely to the Prince. 

"What does?"

"Laziness. If it were anything else, you know, you'd say it _ran_ in thefamily. But wait till you see Gobbo!"

Just then he noticed that Loto was growing quite limp and purple in theface for want of breath; so he hastily scrambled back to his bucket, andonce more began to blow for dear life and a groat a day. 

"By the way, " asked Vance, halting, "do you know where the CrushedStrawberry Wizard lives?"

"He knows, " replied the blower, "but you can't get it out of him. He'stoo lazy to speak; so it's no manner of use fretting about it. "

With a sigh of weariness and disgust the royal wayfarer turned away andwent on his journey. Just at dusk he reached a small village, or rathera group of poor little houses; and as he was about to knock at the doorof one to ask for shelter, he saw a procession coming over the fields. There were a number of men with flaring torches, one or two with picksand spades, while in the midst was carried a bier upon which lay a manwith his eyes wide open, staring straight ahead. 

[Illustration]

"What's all this?" the Prince asked of one who seemed of some authorityin the company. 

"We are going to bury Gobbo, " replied the man. 

"But he isn't dead yet, " exclaimed Vance, quite horrified. 

"True, " the man returned, in a matter-of-fact tone, "but he does notcare about living. I know, for he's hired me to think for him these tenyears. Now I'm tired of it, and so I think it's best to bury him; and ofcourse it's all the same as if he thought so himself. "

"Well, " said Vance, who was beginning to grow badly confused by the oddpeople he encountered, "if he doesn't mind I'm sure I don't know why Ishould. But perhaps before he is buried he can tell me where to find theCrushed Strawberry Wizard. "

"He won't take the trouble to remember, " answered the man, "and I'm sureI'll do no more thinking for him. "

"Well, " was the thought with which the unlucky Vance consoled himself, "it is something to have seen the laziest man on earth. "

VIII

He found an empty hut, in which was some mouldy straw; and there hepassed the night, sleeping as soundly as if he had been on his own royalbed of down in the palace at home. His breakfast was begged at the doorof one of the houses in the village; and all day he followed the river, until near evening he came to the gray seashore and the huts of thefisher folk. 

"What is the name of the river I have been following?" he asked of awrinkled old fisherman who was mending his net in the sunset. 

"It is called Laf, " the old man answered. "It is the eastern border ofJolliland, as the coast is the northern. "

"Oh, bother boundaries!" Vance exclaimed, "I hate them. Can you give mesomething to eat?"

"We are poor folk, " said the old man, "but I suppose we can give ye abite if ye pays for it. "

"Pay for it!" cried Vance, in astonishment. "Do you know who I am?"

"Not rightly, " said the fisherman; "but from yer look and from yer box Itake ye for a travelling showman. What have ye got in yer box?"

"My family, " answered the Prince, before he thought. "Do you know wherethe Crushed Strawberry Wizard lives?"

"Not rightly, " the other replied again; "but I think somewherealongshore. What sort of a family have ye got? A happy family?"

"I'm sure I hope they're happy, " was Vance's response. "I know that I amnot. Perhaps they may like being carried better than I like carryingthem. "

"What can they do?" the fisherman persisted. "Can they dance and eatbuns like a bear, or do they fight and knock each other about like Punchand Judy?"

"They do nothing of the sort, " began the Prince, angrily. "It is not ashow at all; it is--"

Then remembering that if he was rude to the fisherman he shouldcertainly lose all chance of getting a supper, he became more polite, and ended by saying, --

"They are--I mean they act out a king and queen and their court. "

"Truly, " cried the fisherman; "that is a rare show indeed! I never sawthe like. Come in and get your supper, and afterward we will have outthe puppets. "

Upon this he led the way into his hut, and bade the Prince follow him. It was a very poor little hut indeed, with rude walls, in which thecracks were stuffed with seaweed to keep out the wind, and with a smallfire burning on the heap of flat stones which served for a fireplace. The fisherman's wife, who was old and quite crooked with rheumatism, washobbling about getting the supper, which she said was all but ready. When it was all ready, without the but, they sat down, though the poorPrince, hungry as he was, found it hard work to swallow the dry redherring, the rasping oaten cakes, and the brackish water of which themeal consisted. When he had finished the meal, --which, as you maysuppose, did not take long, --he set his box upon the table and openedit. 

[Illustration]

"First, " he said, "let us give them some food, and you shall see howprettily they can play at eating and drinking. "

But if the food was coarse eating to Vance, you may well imagine that itwas quite beyond the power of the tiny teeth of the little people, whowere not able to eat a morsel. This made them wring their hands and weepupon their tiny pocket-handkerchiefs; and the King even boxed the LordChancellor's ears, so angry was he at being disappointed of his supper. 

All this was vastly amusing to the fisherman and his wife, who thoughtthe whole thing was done as a show, and would not hear of Vance'sclosing his box until the darkness quite hid the supposed puppets fromsight. 

In the night, as Vance lay trying in vain to sleep upon the hard clayfloor of the cottage, he overheard the fisherman and his wife whisperingtogether. 

"I tell ye, wife, " the old man was saying, "I will do it, so there be'san end to the matter. I tell ye I will have the show for my very own. Icould make more money with the puppets in one day at the fair, than Imake by a year's fishing hereabouts. "

"But the boy, " asked the old woman, eagerly, --"ye won't hurt the boy, will ye, good man?"

"Hurt him? No, " returned the fisherman, "I won't do him no harm. I'llsell him for a sailor to the ship that lies in the offing, and then I'lltake his show and travel about the country with it, making money. "

As Vance heard this, you may be sure he shivered with horror at the ideathat his family was to be stolen and he himself sold to go as a sailor. He lay very still, however, till the loud snoring told him that thefisherman and his wife were both asleep, when he rose softly, andfinding his precious box shouldered his burden, crept quietly from thecottage, and made all the speed he could in the darkness to leave thewicked fisherman and his hut far, far behind. 

At daybreak he met a man just pushing his boat from the shore, and fromhim he asked whither the road along the beach would lead him. 

"That's a thing as nobody can't tell ye, " said the man, fitting the oarsinto his boat, "because nobody don't rightly know. Howsoever, I adviseye to take it, for it's full as likely to lead somewheres as nowheres. "

This advice was of no great value to the Prince, yet he felt obliged tofollow it, as he dared not go back; so he tramped on steadily, thoughthe sun was high, and the box was heavy, and the Court within buzzedlike a hive of angry bees at being forced to go so long without food. 

IX

Near noon the Prince was joined by a jelly-fish, who seemed to be of acheerful and lively disposition, and who insisted upon attaching himselfto Vance and going along with him. The boy thought that he already hadquite as many people as he was able to look after, and he told thecreature so plainly. 

"Besides, " he finished quite crossly, for he was really out of patience, "to say the truth, you flump so that you make me nervous. "

"Boys shouldn't have nerves, " said the jelly-fish, coolly. "Of course, if I have no legs I can't walk, and if I can't walk I must flump. That'splain, even to you, I suppose. "

Prince Vance was too vexed to reply; so the pair kept on in silence, save for the tired footsteps of the boy and the loud flumping of thejelly-fish on the damp sand of the shore. Near sundown they reached abroad field where ripe grain of some sort seemed to be growing, andthrough it, shaded by trees, ran a brook, clear as crystal. Into thisfield the weary Prince gladly turned, and first of all opened his box, half fearing lest he should find the poor little Court quite dead fromcruel hunger. They were not indeed really lifeless, but they were lyingabout limp and white, and looked as if there was very little strengthleft in them. The Prince hastily filled them several acorn cups fromthe clear, cold brook, and then, seizing one of the long heads, of whichthe grain hung full, he broke it open as quickly as possible. 

[Illustration]

"Raw wheat, " he said, "is certainly not good, but at least it will keepthem from starva--"

He stopped in amazement, and no wonder; for instead of the grain heexpected to find, the pod was full of chocolate creams, large, and allof the most delicious flavors, as the Prince found by trying one. Heopened another pod in astonishment; lemon drops fell from it. A thirdwas full of burnt almonds, while a fourth contained sugared dates. Inshort, the whole wonderful field was full of sweetmeats: cocoanut cakesand macaroons; cream figs, marsh mallows, and gum drops; almond paste, candied nuts, sugared seeds, and crystallized fruits; in truth, youcould not even dream of any sort of luscious confectionery which was notgrowing fresh and plentiful in that charming field. 

Very quickly the Prince placed several fine bonbons upon the baby-housetable. The King, too near starving to care much for good manners, carved with his sword, and ladies and gentlemen seized slices in theirhands and ate as if famished. A wine drop furnished them with deliciouscordial to drink, and thus the Court feasted so merrily that it wouldhave done one's heart good to see them. 

Having thus provided for his family, you may be sure that Vance was nota great while in providing for himself; and having shelled a fine lapfulof bonbons, he sat down to enjoy himself in peace, when to his vexationhe heard at his side the unwelcome voice of the jelly-fish. 

"Feed me first!" cried the creature; "I have no hands to gather bonbonsfor myself. Feed me first! I am hungry too. "

Poor Prince Vance! He was indeed weary and warm and hungry, and hispatience was quite gone. 

"Go and eat without hands, then!" he cried crossly; and seizing theflabby creature he tossed it recklessly away from him among the vines. 

He had, however, hardly drawn a breath of relief, and was just settinghis teeth in a delicious bit of nougat, when back came the jelly-fishquite unhurt and fully as cheerful as ever. 

"Now, why should you take the trouble to do a thing of that sort?"demanded the fish. "It cannot amuse you, and it doesn't hurt me. I shallcertainly flump back again as often as you throw me away, so you see itis of no use; and if it is of no use, why, it certainly is not useful. Isuppose even you can see that. Feed me!"

"I don't see any way of feeding you, " replied the Prince, with his mouthfull of sugared apricot; "you certainly have no mouth. "

"That is apparently true, " returned the fish, amiably; "but just lay asoft bonbon on top of me and see what will happen. "

The Prince did as he was bid, and had the satisfaction of seeing a largeorange cream melt gradually away as the jelly-fish slowly drew it intohimself. 

The Prince had eaten, for once in his life, all the sugar-plums hewanted, and had just taken a drink of water from the cold, clear brook, when he heard a voice like thunder rolling among the hills. 

"Who is this, " it cried, "in my lollipop field, stealing my lollipops?"

With his heart thumping loudly against his side, Vance looked up andbeheld a sight which might have made a king and his army shake in theirshoes; and how much more a poor little Prince with a Court to care forand only a jelly-fish to help him!

[Illustration]

X

The sight which so terrified Prince Vance was indeed nothing more norless than a horrible giant, fully as tall as the tallest church-steepleyou ever saw, and having in his forehead three hideous great eyes--red, white, and blue--and a mouth which looked like nothing so much as a darkcave on a mountain side. 

Before Vance really knew what had happened, he found himself snatched upand standing upon the great hand of the giant, as if it were a table. 

"Please, " he said, speaking in a great hurry, he was sofrightened, --"please, we only took a few because we were nearlystarving. We did not know they belonged to you, and we meant no harm. Please, oh, please let us go this once, and we'll promise never, neverto come back any more. "

[Illustration]

"Oh, ho!" cried the giant, with a great laugh; "let you go, indeed! Notso fast, Thumbkin! I am fond of little people like you. "

Poor Vance danced helplessly about upon the giant's great palm, butcould do nothing to help himself and had to look on as the giant seizedthe box in his other hand and shook it gently, making the little folkfly about wildly and get many a bruise and bump from tables and chairs. 

"These will amuse my wife vastly, " said the giant, as he began to stridetoward home. "I should not wonder but she'd preserve ye in brown sugar. I like such little relishes, and 'tis a long time since I've had any. "

At this you can fancy that poor Vance became quite ill with fear; but asthere seemed just then to be no way of escaping, he held his tongue andlooked sharply about him until in time they came to the giant's castle. It was a huge gray stone building, with iron-barred windows, and at thegate three dogs so enormous in size and so hideous to see that merely tohear of them would be enough to give one the shivers, so you shall betold nothing at all about them. Horrible as they looked, they stood infear of the giant; and at his word they lay down meekly enough, and didnot even growl as he strode by them through the court and into thecastle hall. 

"Wife, " cried the giant to a woman who stood admiring herself in a bigmirror in the end of the room, --"wife, come ye here and see what I havefound. "

"What have you found?" asked she, without turning away from the glass. "Is it anything to wear?"

"Zounds!" shouted the giant. "Can you think of nothing but dress, Madam?No, it is far better than something to wear; it is something to eat. Come, put on the pot!"

At this all hope forsook poor Vance, and he thought that his end hadcome indeed. But the giant's wife spoke up sharply, and declared that itwas quite too late to be cooking anything fresh for supper, and that thegiant might wait until morning. 

"What is there for supper, anyhow?" asked the giant, discontentedly, for he had quite counted upon the fresh stew he would have made fromVance. 

"Why, " replied the giantess, "there's the sea-serpent pie I've warmedup, and I've opened a can of elephant's heads by way of a relish. "

"Be quick with it, " growled the giant, "or I shall eat this boy up rawin no time!"

At this the giant's wife, who was by no means a bad-hearted woman, though rather fond of dress and vain of her beauty, (and being as highas a steeple, one must confess that there was a good deal of her to bevain of!) gave Vance a shove into a corner to get him out of herhusband's sight; and in the corner Vance was glad enough to stay hidwhile the giant ate an enormous supper, and drank a whole cask of alewhich his wife drew for him from a huge butt in the corner of the hall. 

After he had finished eating and drinking, the giant bade his wife lookto it that the boy was put in a safe place for the night; then, seizinga candle as long as a bean-pole, he stumbled heavily away to bed. Hiswife, who had been sitting by the fire, now rose and invited Vance tocome and share the remains of the supper. 

"You are a pretty little boy, " she said, "and that peach-colored velvetjacket must have been handsome before it grew so soiled. Now come, eat abit of pie and drink a little ale; you want to be in good condition forto-morrow. If you must be made into a stew, of course you'd rather be agood stew than a bad one. "

"I don't know about that, " replied Vance, dismally; "if I must be cookedwhether I like it or not, I rather think I would like to tasteparticularly nasty. "

"Oh, fie now!" cried the giantess. "Good little boys do not talk so. Iam sure you must be a good little boy, by your looks. What is in yourbox? Jewelry?"

"If I will show you, " asked Vance, with some hope in his voice, "willyou let me go? My dear, kind lady, you do pity me, don't you? I am sureyou are kind and good. Only let me go, and I will send you beautifuljewels. I will do anything for you if you will only let me go. "

"No, " said the giantess, "I can't do that. He would beat me to death ifI let you go; besides, you could not get by the dogs if I let you freetwenty times over. But I'll tell you what I will do; if you will unlockyour box I'll give you laughing-gas before I cook you to-morrow, andthen you won't know what has happened till you are fairly stewed andeaten. "

This was but cold comfort to Vance, as you may imagine; but he saw thatthe giantess meant kindly, and he still hoped to escape in some way, sohe swallowed his sobs as best he could and proceeded to open his box. Nosooner were the tiny people free than they began to run eagerly aboutthe table, eating the crumbs of oaten bread and the grains of sugarwhich the untidy giantess had scattered. Small as the little courtierswere, their jewels and robes glistened and made a fine show; and thegiantess leaned upon her elbows and watched them with delight, declaringthem the prettiest little things she ever saw. 

"I should not wonder, now, " she said, "if my husband would give theselittle things to me; they are too small to be of any use except asseasoning. I wish I could make them useful in some way. "

[Illustration]

The giantess, as has been said, was a vain woman, and she was alwaysthinking how everything could be put to use as something to wear. 

"I have an idea, " she said, suddenly jumping up and bringing a spool ofpink silk from her work-box, which was about the size of a Saratogatrunk. "I have heard of ladies wearing live beetles fastened by tinygold chains to their breast-pins. I believe I can do something of thesort with these little puppets. "

"But, Madam, " begged Vance, in dismay, "you do not seem to understandthat these are my own royal rela--"

"Now, you be still!" said the giant's wife, playfully, "or I'll pop youinto that steaming kettle over there without a single sniff oflaughing-gas; and you can't begin to fancy how unpleasant you would findit, --you can't, really. "

At this Prince Vance shivered, and said very feebly indeed, --

"Please don't hurt them, dear Mrs. Giant; they are very tender. "

"I shall not hurt them, " said the lady, "or at least only enough to makethem kick; they are so amusing when they kick. "

As she talked, she tied bits of silk about the waists of the King andthe Queen, and hung them in her ears as children sometimes hang buttonswhen they pretend to have eardrops. When she had fastened on her strangeear-rings, she made a necklace of the Princesses and Courtiers, andhaving put it on she began to admire herself in the glass as if shewould never be done. After a while, however, she got so sleepy that shecould no longer see, and was even too tired to toss her head and makethe King and the Queen swing about in her ears. She put her new jewelryback in their box, and picking Vance up put him into a wooden bird-cageon the wall. 

"Pleasant dreams!" she said cheerfully. 

And then she too went away to bed. 

XI

Left alone in his high-hung cage, poor Vance was indeed in deep despair. He saw no way out of his troubles, and could not help weeping as hebemoaned his miserable lot. 

"It is all the fault of that wretched Blue Wizard!" he exclaimed; for itdid not occur to him that it was his own bad behavior which brought theBlue Wizard to the palace in the first place. 

Just at this moment, in a pause between his sobs, the Prince heard afamiliar flumping sound on the stone floor below him; and looking downbeheld to his surprise his old companion the jelly-fish. 

"How do you do?" asked the jelly-fish, politely. "I suppose you're notvery glad to see me. "

"Oh, but I am, though!" cried the Prince, not very politely. "I shouldbe glad to see anybody now, no matter who. How did you get by the dogs?"

"I flew, " replied the creature. 

"Jelly-fish cannot fly, " said the Prince; "so that cannot be true. "

"Well, then, " responded the jelly-fish, indifferently, "I swam; and ifthat isn't true, why, I suppose it is false. Even you can see the wisdomof that, can't you? However, now that I am here, I've something to tellyou. This castle is in the township of Bogarru, and Bogarru is situatedon the western boundary of Jolliland, which--"

"Who cares for boundaries?" the impatient Prince interrupted. "Have younothing pleasanter than that to talk about?"

"--brings me to my point, " the unmoved jelly-fish continued. "Whenever Ivisit a place for the first time I am able to have one wish come true. This is my first visit to Bogarru. Now the question is, Shall I wish theheathen of Gobbs Island to become converted, stop eating theirgrandmothers and take to wearing clothes; or shall I wish you out ofthis castle, you and your Court, in the time a cat winks?"

"The last, the last!" cried the Prince, too eager to speak correctly. "Dear, kind, good jelly-fish, do wish us out of this horrible place, andyou shall go everywhere with me if you want to, and I'll never speakrudely to you again as long as you live!"

"Ah!" replied the fish, "I was afraid you'd choose thus. You care morefor yourself than you do for the Gobbs Islanders. It is not truly noble, but perhaps it is natural. Now, then, open your mouth and shut youreyes!"

The Prince obeyed, and at once there was a taste of somethingexceedingly bitter on his tongue; sparks danced before his closed eyes, and directly he felt a whiff of cool fresh air blowing upon him. 

"Open your eyes!" said the voice of the jelly-fish. 

The Prince did so, and to his great joy found himself, with his boxbeside him, out upon a country road, with the stars twinkling over hishead. 

"Oh, dear, good jelly-fish!" he cried joyously, "how can I ever thankyou?"

"You seem to be fonder of me than you were a while ago, " observed thejelly-fish, dryly. "However, I forgive you. If you want to find theCrushed Strawberry Wizard, keep straight on along this road till youcome to the house of the Funny Man. Flubaloo!"

The jelly-fish disappeared as he spoke this last mysterious word. 

"What a pity!" said the Prince; "I can never tell him how sorry I am formy rudeness. I have lost my only friend. I wonder what he meant by'flubaloo, ' now?"

This, however, was so hard a question to think out that at last thePrince decided to give it up. So, shouldering his pack, he startedbriskly off along the high-road, not daring to linger till daylight forfear that the giant would wake up, and, finding his prisoner gone, wouldcome after him and carry him back to the terrible castle of Bogarru. 

XII

All night Prince Vance trudged on in the starlight, and did not stopeven to take breath till he saw the sky begin to grow red with thecoming sunrise; then, clambering over a hedge, he laid himself down inits shelter, and instantly fell into a deep and heavy sleep. 

The sun was high above him when he woke, and at once he became aware ofa great ringing of bells, blowing of horns, and beating of drums, as ifhe were in the midst of some holiday celebration. He started up, rubbinghis eyes, and found that he had fallen asleep in a field which was nowgay with hundreds of merry-makers. Flags were flying from tents andbooths; bands of musicians were playing; glass-blowers and jugglers wereperforming their tricks; peasants in gay dresses were singing, dancing, and feasting; and there were all manner of shows and swings andmerry-go-rounds, enough to have turned your head entirely, had you beenthere to see. As to the Prince, he was so delighted as even to forgetfor a while both hunger and weariness, and walked about from sight tosight, crying "Hurrah!" as the jugglers and rope-dancers performed theircurious and daring tricks. 

At length he came to a booth in which an old woman was preparing overher fire a kettle of steaming stew, which to the hungry Prince seemed tosend forth the most delicious odor of any stew he ever had known in hislife. 

"Ah, " he exclaimed eagerly, "that smells exceedingly savory, goodmother!"

"Ay, " replied the old woman; "and truly it ought, for it has in it bluepigeons, a fine fat cock, three wild hares, and every vegetable andsavory herb known in all Jolliland. Will you have a bowl?"

"Ay, " said the Prince, "that I will; and let the bowl be a large one!"he added, as he watched the old woman filling a goodly wooden basin withthe stew. 

"There!" she exclaimed as she held it toward him, "there it is; and goodenough eating for a royal prince, if I do say it who made it. One silverbit and 'tis yours, my fine young fellow!"

[Illustration]

"But, " stammered the Prince, his mouth watering as the fragrant steamreached his nostrils, --"but I have no silver bit. If you will only trustme for it, I will pay you as soon as ever I find the Crushed Straw--"

He stopped speaking suddenly, for he saw that the woman was laughing athim. She had snatched the basin of stew as it were from his very mouth;and as she laughed loudly and shrilly, she pointed at the Prince withher fat forefinger. 

Drawn by the noise she was making, all the peasants flocked around, crying out, --

"What is it, Mother Michael? What is the joke? Tell us, that we maylaugh too; for you know we must laugh. It is our duty to laugh. "

"He wants to be trusted for a basin of broth, " tittered the old dame, "and he says that he will pay me when he finds the Crushed StrawberryWizard!"

At this all the peasants laughed in chorus till the very hills echoed. 

"I don't see what you are laughing at, " cried the poor Prince, hotly; "Ithink you are very silly indeed. "

"Of course we are!" answered the laughing peasants. "It is our duty tobe silly. If we cannot laugh at something, we laugh at nothing, sincethis is Sillyburg, the merriest town in Jolliland. "

[Illustration]

"But, " asked the Prince, in vexation, "does nobody here know anything?Has nobody any sense?"

"Of course not!" said the peasants. "Who cares about knowing anything, and what's the good of having sense? We have a good time in the world, and that's enough for us. "

The Prince would have reproved the peasants for talking so foolishly, but that the words seemed to have a strangely familiar sound; and hesuddenly remembered that he had used them himself at one time when histutor was urging him to learn common fractions. 

In the mean time the peasants, always eager for any new thing, hadbecome very anxious to know what was in the mysterious box which thePrince carried. 

"If it is a show, " they cried, "open the box and set it out. We areweary for something new to laugh at. "

But the Prince hardly thought it would please the King and Queen to belaughed at by a crowd of gaping rustics. To be sure, he had shown thembefore, but that was in private and not as a real exhibition at a publicfair. Some days ago this would not have troubled the Prince at all; buttrial and hardship were fast making Vance into a very different sort ofboy from the Prince who was the despair of his poor tutor and thetorment of the entire palace. 

However, the poor wayfarer reflected that as food was only to be had formoney, money must be earned in some way, or the Court and himself werecertain to starve. It also occurred to him that if his family still hadany feelings they must be such exceedingly small ones that they were notof much importance; and accordingly he opened his box and proceeded toshow off his tiny relatives, the peasants screaming with laughter at theairs and graces of the little Courtiers, and offering them all manner ofcakes, fruits, and bonbons for the sake of seeing them eat. The CourtPriest pleased the rustics particularly, as he seized the only sugaredalmond and ran away with it into a corner, pursued by the entire Court, all squabbling and quarrelling in the most undignified manner possible. This sight so delighted the peasants that they gave Vance plenty of goodsilver bits, and thus he was able at last to buy himself a breakfast, though you may be quite sure he did not get it of the old woman who hadmade sport of him before. 

When he had finished his meal, which was eaten sitting on the grassbefore a chicken-pasty booth, he rose and asked the peasants politelythe way to the Funny Man's house. 

"The house is far away, " they cried, "but the Funny Man is here at theFair if you can only find him. You can't always find him. "

"This is the Funny Man, " cried a jolly gay voice. "This is I! Here I be. Why don't you catch me?"

[Illustration]

XIII

Vance looked, and saw, dodging and hopping about behind a neighboringbooth, a fat little man dressed in green and hung all over withfluttering ribbons and jingling bells. He looked so lively and merrythat at first sight the Prince was quite charmed with him; but he soonthought that his looks were far more agreeable than his behavior, forthe Funny Man would neither stop to speak nor to listen, but keptrunning and dodging about and hiding behind booths or groups ofpeasants, so that the Prince was in despair about ever finding out fromhim where the Crushed Strawberry Wizard lived. 

"I want to speak to you, if you please, " cried the Prince. "I havesomething which I must say to you; I really must. "

"Catch me, then!" cried the Funny Man. "Chase me! Run after me! Whoop!Now you see me, and now you don't! Hurrah for me and my legs!"

Away dashed the Funny Man, and away scampered the angry Prince inpursuit of him. But Vance soon found it to be of no use in the world totry to capture so swift a runner; so he stopped, hot and breathless andweary, while all the peasants held their sides to prevent theirsplitting with laughter, and cried, --

"Hurrah for the Funny Man!"

"Do you give it up?" asked the Funny Man, as Vance seated himself by hisbox and wiped his heated forehead. 

"Of course I do, " answered the Prince, crossly. "I should think you'd beashamed of yourself. Why do you want to act so, anyway?"

"For the fun of it afterward, " replied the Funny Man. 

Now that at last he was standing still, the Prince perceived that hisnose was of a most peculiar and curious fashion. It was not only oflarge size and green in color, but it ended in a long and slender pipe, something like a stick of macaroni, which was twisted up for ornament orconvenience into a sort of figure eight. 

[Illustration]

"For the fun of it afterward, " repeated the Funny Man. 

"Well, " said the Prince, "I should say that it couldn't be any greatfun, in the first place, to be a grown-up man like you, and it certainlycan be no fun whatever afterward. "

"Oh, " rejoined the Funny Man, "that's only one of my queer sayings, youknow. It doesn't really mean anything. By the by, what did you want ofme?"

"A friend of mine who was a jelly-fish, " began the Prince, "told me toask you how I should find the Crushed Strawberry Wizard. "

"Pooh!" cried the Funny Man, turning rapidly on the ends of his pointedtoes. "I don't care about doing that. Why should I? There's no fun init. Stop a minute, though! Is that _all_ the jelly-fish said? You aresure he said nothing more, not a word?"

"Nothing that meant anything, " replied the Prince. "He said 'Flubaloo'as he left me. "

"No!" exclaimed the Funny Man, turning rather pale. "Did he really, though? If he did, that puts matters in a very different light, a veryserious light. Come home with me, and in the morning I'll set you off onthe right road. Hurry! for we have a good distance to go, and 'tis aroundabout way. "

Following the lead of the Funny Man, the Prince found himself once moreupon the high-road, along which they journeyed until late in theafternoon, when their path suddenly plunged deep into the forest. 

"Wait a minute!" said the Funny Man; "I must light my nose. "

"Do what?" asked the astonished Prince. 

"Light my nose, Stupid!" replied his guide. 

The Prince said no more, but looked on in silent amazement while theFunny Man untwisted the figure eight at the point of his nose, andremoved a small copper cap which covered the end. He then struck a matchand applied it to the bottom of this macaroni-like tube. A light like alarge star at once appeared, and shed its yellow beams about so widelyas to make the gloomy forest-road as light as day. 

"Excuse me for speaking of it, " said the Prince, politely, "but that's astrange sort of nose you have. "

"Not at all, " answered the Funny Man, carelessly; "very common in theseparts, --very common, indeed. Simply a sort of slow-match; grows in thedaytime as much as it burns away at night. Come on! I'm going to run, and you must catch me. Hurrah! Now you see me and now you don't!"

[Illustration]

Alas for the poor Prince! it was mostly "don't. " The light flickered anddanced ahead of him like a will-o'-the-wisp, and was often lostentirely; while the tired boy, burdened with his cumbersome box, hastened after as best he might, stumbling and tumbling over stones andtough roots, splashing through miry places and running violently againsttree-trunks, till just as he was ready to sink down in despair and lethis unpleasant companion go where he would, he came suddenly upon theFunny Man resting upon the gate of a curious little house, and laughingwith great glee at the race he had led the Prince. 

"Here we are, " said the Funny Man; "come in! My wife's at home, and I'veno doubt supper's all ready except the seasoning. I always season thingsmyself, because I'm something of an epicure. "

As he spoke, he led the way into the house, having put out his light andonce more wound his nose up into its figure eight. 

XIV

The room in which the Prince found himself was bright and cheery, andthe table was laid for supper. The wife of the Funny Man was rather amournful-looking woman, which the Prince privately thought was by nomeans to be wondered at. She had a somewhat peculiar and startlingappearance, from the fact that her head was twisted completely round onher body, so that she faced the wrong way. 

"Curious effect, isn't it?" asked the Funny Man, as he observed that thePrince was staring at his wife. "I did it one day for a joke, and thebest part of it all is that I have forgotten the charm to bring herround right again. "

"Does she think it is a joke?" asked the Prince. 

[Illustration]

"As to that, " replied the Funny Man, indifferently, "I don't know, because I never asked her, and I certainly do not care one way oranother. "

"?reppus ot nwod tis ot uoy esaelp ti lliW" said the woman, after theFunny Man had busied himself a few moments with the dishes. 

Vance stared in confusion, but the Funny Man seemed quite used to thisodd way of speaking. 

"Her talk is all hind-side before, " he explained, chuckling, "since Iturned her head about. Sit down! Supper is ready. "

They all sat down. The unfortunate woman faced the wall behind her, andtherefore she was a little awkward in ladling the soup. However, thatwas a slight affair, and Vance was far too famished to be particular. The pottage gave forth a most appetizing odor, and the Prince hastilyplunged in his spoon and began to eat. He had not taken a fair tastebefore he stopped eating with a terribly wry face. The soup was bittererthan gall. 

"Don't you like the seasoning?" snickered the Funny Man. "Now, come, that's too bad, when I thought 'twould be just to your liking!"

Too angry to speak, the Prince snatched a glass of water and drank, onlyto find it scalding hot and full of salt. 

"Try a bit of venison pasty, " urged his host, pleasantly. "No morefooling, on my word!"

"?opiH, enola dlihc roop eht tel uoy t'nac yhW" asked the wife, whoseemed to be as kind-hearted as could be expected of one so twisted. 

The Prince, however, had already tasted of the pasty, which provedhotter than fire with red pepper. So it was with everything on thetable. Nothing was fit to eat. The ragout was full of pins and needles, the wine was drugged with nauseous herbs, the cakes were stuffed withcotton; and the Prince cracked his teeth instead of the almonds, whichwere cleverly made out of stone. 

All this nonsense was very bitter to the hungry Prince, as you maysuppose; but as for the Funny Man, he was quite wild with delight. Herolled over and over on the floor, and the tears of joy streamed downhis cheeks at the success of his jokes. 

"This is the best fun I've had for months, " he cried. "This is joy! Thisis true happiness!"

"A very poor sort of happiness, " the Prince said ruefully. "I think Iwill go to bed. "

Alas! here things were just as bad. As the Prince entered his chamber abucket of ice-cold water, balanced above, fell down and drenched him tothe skin. His bed was full of eels and frogs; and when the poor boytried to get a nap in a chair a tame owl and a pair of pet bats flappedtheir wings in his face and tweaked his nose and ears. At the earliestpeep of dawn the tortured Prince shouldered his box and left hischamber. 

Sitting on the balustrade, whittling, was the host. 

XV

"Good-morning!" said the Funny Man, politely. "I hope you slept well. "

"I did not sleep at all, " replied the Prince, hotly; "and of course youknew I wouldn't. "

"That was the joke, you know, " the Funny Man chuckled, pocketing hisknife and preparing to lead the way to the breakfast-table. 

The Prince, however, had no mind for another feast like that of thenight before; so he resisted all urging and started forth. 

"Don't miss the way!" said the Funny Man, who seemed to be much castdown because the Prince would not stay to breakfast. "Cross the stream, you know, than climb a red stile, and there you are on the straightroad. If ever I come your way I'll make you a visit. I've taken a fancyto you. "

"That's more than I've done to you, " muttered Vance, as he trudged away. 

He was very angry indeed with the Funny Man, and yet he had anunpleasant remembrance of a time, not so very far away, when he himselfwas the terror of the entire palace on account of his fondness forplaying cruel jokes upon others. 

The road was rough, the sun was hot, and the Prince was so famished thathe was glad to devour a couple of apples which had fallen from the cartof a peasant bound for market. Still Vance cheered himself with thethought that his troubles were about to end. He was now near the home ofthe Crushed Strawberry Wizard; so he pressed on till mid-afternoon, onlystopping once when he came upon some pears growing upon a stunted treeby the roadside. They were small, crabbed, and stony; but the hungryPrince was glad enough to gather a number and eat them seated in thepear-tree's scanty shade. As to the Court, it was quite a relief toVance to remember that the peasants at the fair had provided thebaby-house with cakes and bonbons enough to last for many days. 

"After all, " the Prince said to himself, as he once more trudgedalong, --"after all, they have a far easier time of it than I. I don'tthink I should much mind being little myself if I could have as good atime as they do. "

Toward the middle of the afternoon the Prince reached a dark wood intowhich his road seemed to lead him. He had not walked far before he hearda sound as of somebody sobbing, and also a curious clashing noise as ofcymbals striking together. These sounds became more and more distinct asthe Prince kept on; and at last he came to a small monkey who was seatedin a low juniper-tree, weeping most bitterly and now and then smitingits hands together in sorrow. The hands of the monkey, being of metal(as indeed was the creature's entire body), produced, as they beattogether, the cymbal-like sounds which the Prince had heard. 

"What is the matter?" asked the Prince, as the monkey continued to weepwithout paying any attention whatever to him. 

[Illustration]

The monkey, looking up, wiped its eyes upon a small lace handkerchiefwhich was already quite damp enough. 

"I am so miserable, " it sighed. "Did you never hear folk say it was coldenough to freeze the tail off a brass monkey? I am the brass monkey. They mean me; they mean my tail. "

"But it never has been cold enough to freeze your tail off, " said thePrince, consolingly. 

"No, " replied the monkey, wretchedly; "but then I'm always afraid itwill be, and that's just as bad. Oh, what a world this is!"

The monkey upon this fell to weeping more bitterly than before, and thePrince sneezed violently three times. 

"There!" exclaimed the monkey, dismally; "now you're taking cold becauseI'm so damp with crying. "

"Oh, never mind that!" replied the Prince, politely. "It really doesn'tmatter. A good sneeze is really quite refreshing. "

"That reminds me, " said the monkey, "that I was sent to tell you to goback again; this isn't the road. "

"Not the--" began the Prince, looking puzzled. 

"Road, " finished the monkey, beginning to cry once more. "To the CrushedStrawberry Wizard's, you know. You have just come back by another waynearly to the Castle of Bogarru, where the giant lives. The Funny Mantold you wrong. "

"Told me wrong!" repeated the poor Prince, now thoroughly discouraged. 

"Yes, " said the monkey, "for a joke, you know. Oh, my beautiful brasstail! What a world this is!"

"This is the very worst and meanest joke of the whole!" cried thePrince. 

He shivered at the idea of being once more near the castle of theterrible giant; and then he remembered the weary miles he had travelledthat day under the burning sun, and thinking of these things he couldhave wept with right good-will, had it not been that the brass monkeyhad already made quite a pool of tears, and Vance was afraid of causinga flood. 

"You must go back the way you came, " said the monkey, wringing the tearsfrom its handkerchief. "It will take you longer than it did to come, because now it will be night. At daybreak you will see three silverbirches in a meadow; then climb the hedge and follow a row of largewhite stones till you come to a green stile; after this the path isstraight to the Crushed Strawberry Wizard's door. You cannot miss it. "

"If this is true, " said the Prince, "I am a thousand times obliged toyou. But are you quite certain that this, too, is not a joke?"

"Oh, my jointed brass body!" cried the monkey, mournfully. "Now, do Ilook like a joker? I never made a joke in my life, never. "

"I should be only too glad, " said the Prince, as he turned to go, "to dosomething to cheer you up, if I might. "

"Oh, no!" wailed the monkey; "nobody can do anything. Besides, I like tobe miserable; it is the only comfort I have. Go! it is getting darkerevery minute. Oh, my brass toes and fingers, what a world this is!"

At this the monkey wept so violently that Vance had to give up all ideaof thanking him or even of saying good-by; so he contented himself byturning and hastening back along the path by which he had come. 

[Illustration]

XVI

Nearly all night the Prince kept on over the stony road. When the skygrew gray, he took a short nap under a thorny hedge, and by sunrise hewas once more on his way. On his right, in a beautiful green field, hesaw to his great delight three silver birches, their branches rustlinglightly in the morning wind. 

Vance climbed the hedge and walked on steadily, being guided, as themonkey had promised, by a seemingly endless row of pure white stones. Atnoon he came upon a green stile, but it was so crooked that the Princethought he could more easily climb the hedge than get over it. As hedrew nearer he perceived a curious little man, who appeared to behunting for something in the grass at the foot of the stile. He was agood-natured-looking old man; but his head, body, arms, and legs, evenhis features, were twisted so that nothing about him was fair orstraight. He greeted the Prince very kindly, however, and invited him tosit down by the brook and share his luncheon of bread and cheese. This, you may imagine, the famished Prince was only too glad to do. 

[Illustration]

"You've heard, perhaps, " said the stranger, "of the crooked man whowalked a crooked mile and found a crooked sixpence against a crookedstile? I am the man. I haven't found the sixpence yet, but hope to do sosoon. I want to warn you, when you reach the Crushed StrawberryWizard's, not to speak until he has spoken, or you'll spoil the charmfor ten years. "

"How good you are!" exclaimed the Prince, gratefully. "How terrible if, after all my journeying, I had spoilt the charm! Can I do anything foryou? I will help hunt for the sixpence if you like, or I will beg theWizard to untwist you. "

"Oh, never mind!" returned the Crooked Man, cheerfully. "As to thesixpence, I must find that myself; and as to my crookedness, a whirlwinddid it and a whirlwind must undo it. I don't mind. You see, I do notfeel as badly as I look. "

Thanking the kind little man once more for his luncheon and his goodadvice, Vance started off merrily through the beech-wood, feeling thathis toilsome journey was truly drawing to an end at last. The birdssang, the brook babbled cheerfully beside him, and the breeze broughthim sweet odors from a thousand flowers. Just at sunset the Prince leftthe wood, and came into a small open glade where the grass was like coolgreen velvet to his feet, and a crystal fountain splashed in the midstof a bed of flowers. Here Vance beheld a curious pink house shaped likean enormous strawberry; and before the door, busily making tatting, wasa strange-looking person, all of a pinkish magenta color even to hishair, and wearing a gown and pointed hat of the same unpleasant hue. 

Prince Vance had found the Crushed Strawberry Wizard at last. 

XVII

It was well that Vance had been warned by the Crooked Man not to speakfirst, as he certainly would have done so, for in truth the CrushedStrawberry Wizard did not appear to be at all a talkative sort of man. He did indeed look up as Vance came near and put down his box; but hesaid nothing, and closing his eyes, went on making tatting in silence. 

Vance stood on one foot awhile, and then on the other. He counted thewhite doves upon the peaked roof, and watched a small old lady who wasgathering herbs in the tiny garden beside the house; but he was verycareful not to speak. At last his patience was rewarded. The Wizardopened his eyes and spoke. 

"The reason, " he said very slowly, "that a sausage cannot walk is thatit has no legs. You can understand that, can't you?"

"Oh, certainly!" replied the Prince, politely. 

He was extremely anxious not to say anything to make the Wizard angry. 

"Well, then, " returned the Wizard, "don't pretend that you can't, that'sall. "

For some time longer the Wizard made tatting in silence; then once againhe spoke. 

"The reason, " he said gravely, "that a horse has no trunk is because itis not an elephant. Can you see the philosophy of that?"

"Yes, your--" "Majesty, " the Prince was about to say, in his eagernessto be polite; but he changed his mind just in time, and saidcourteously, "Yes, your Wizardship. "

This appeared to please the Wizard, for he bent his head three times andinvited the Prince in to tea. The table was already spread; and seatedabout it were the old lady Vance had seen herb-gathering, and nineblack cats with green eyes, peaked caps, and nice white napkins undertheir chins. The Wizard placed a chair for the Prince. 

"This is my wife, " he said, waving his hand toward the tiny old lady. "She is a professional witch. She eats nothing but grasshoppers gatheredwhen the moon is full. "

The Wizard here lowered his voice mysteriously and bent toward Vance. 

"Economical, " he said, "very economical. She hardly costs me a groat ayear, except for her high-heeled shoes; those come dear, but she musthave them, being a professional witch, you know. Now, as to these cats, how many lives should you guess they had among them, eh?"

"I have heard, " replied the Prince, "that every cat has nine lives, so Ishould think that there must be eighty-one lives here. "

"You'd be wrong, then, " said the Wizard, "for some of these cats haveonly one or two lives left. I keep 'em, you understand, so that whenfolks lose their lives, all they have to do is to come to me and I cansell them new ones from the cats. "

"Do the cats like it?" asked Vance. 

"They don't mind, " replied the Wizard. "Anyhow, they know they've allgot to come to it. When the last life is gone, a cat turns into a wind;you've heard them of a March night, yowling about the castle turrets. "

"The moon, " said the witch, speaking for the first time, "being probablyif not otherwise added to this whose salt, magnifying. "

"You are right, my dear, " said the Wizard, "as you always are. The boy_is_ better off in bed. "

Upon this the Wizard left the table and led Vance to a neat littlebed-chamber, where he bade him good-night. The Prince, having opened hisbox to give his family some air, lay down and enjoyed the first night ofslumber in a bed which he had known since leaving the palace. 

The next morning, after breakfasting with the Wizard, the witch, and thecats, the Prince was called into the garden and given a spade. 

"Just dig awhile, as we talk, " said the Wizard, seating himself, "andsee if you can find any Greek roots. My wife wants some for a philtershe is making. "

[Illustration]

"Tintypes, " observed the witch, "catnip promulgating canticlesconcerning emoluments, producing. "

Vance stared; but the Wizard, who was evidently accustomed to this oddsort of talk, answered quietly:

"You are right, as usual, my dear. He must be very careful not to cutthem in two with his spade. "

The Prince took the spade and began to dig, though not very hopefully. The truth was, he had never been at all successful in finding Greekroots himself; and besides he was longing to ask the Wizard for thecharm which should restore his family. However, he dug away bravely andsaid nothing till the Wizard spoke to him. 

"I suppose, " said the Wizard, at length, "that, as to your family, youknow the rule for simple reduction, don't you?"

"Yes, " said the Prince, doubtfully, "I do if that page wasn't torn outof my book. However, I could learn it. "

"Learn it, then, " said the Wizard; "and when you have learned it, useit. "

"But, if you please, " ventured the Prince, humbly, "they are alreadyreduced to the lowest terms. I don't wish to reduce them any more. "

"All right, then, " replied the Wizard, crossly; for the truth was, that, having a variety of affairs on his mind that day, he had forgottenthat Vance's Court were pygmies, and was thinking they were giants, anda wizard never likes to find himself mistaken. "All right, then; don'treduce them. I'm sure I don't care what you do. "

"Oh, don't say that!" begged the Prince, with tears in his eyes. "Pleasedon't act as if you didn't care! Oh, your Wizardship, I've come so farto find you, and I've met such unpleasant people, and such horriblethings have happened to me on the way, pray do not refuse to help me nowthat I have found you at last!"

"Well, then, " returned the Wizard, "be polite, and do as I tell you. Doyou find any roots, by the by?"

"Not one, " said the Prince, leaning on his spade in despair. 

"That's bad, " said the Wizard. "I would sell the charm to you for oneGreek root. "

"Oh, " cried the Prince, "my tutor has some, I know. His head used to befull of them; and unless they have grown so small that he has lost them, I'll be bound he has them still. "

[Illustration]

Upon this the Prince hastened to open his box, and, to his greatdelight, succeeded in obtaining from his tutor several Greek rootswhich, though small, were of good shape and in fair condition. Thesebeing given to the Wizard, and by him handed to the witch, the Princewaited eagerly for the charm to be told him. 

But the Wizard had apparently no mind to speak. He whistled a fewmoments, and then, drawing a string from his pocket, began to make acat's-cradle over his long crushed-strawberry fingers. 

"I've sent a message by telegraph to the court cat, " he announced. "Gothrough that white gateway, and you'll come to the high-road. It is thesouthern boundary of Jolliland. Your way is straight. By sunset you willbe at the castle. The cat knows all. "

XVIII

The Prince thanked the Wizard, though not very warmly: for, to tell thetruth, he did not much believe that the Wizard had sent a message to thecat; and even if he had, Vance had in times past so hectored andtormented that poor animal that he felt some delicacy in asking a favorfrom her now. However, he kept on in the direction pointed out, passedthrough the white gate, and started forth merrily enough along thehigh-road. He was disturbed, indeed, by some fears of the wicked GeneralBopi; but he had, in spite of himself, some faith in the CrushedStrawberry Wizard, and he meant to be very cautious in approaching thepalace. 

By sundown, as the Wizard had promised, the young Prince found his longjourney ended, and beheld at last the dear old home where he was bornand had always lived till his own misdoings sent him forth. Howbeautiful it looked to the worn and footsore Prince, with its velvetyterraces, its clear blue lake, marble statues, and crystal fountains, lovely flowers, waving ferns, and shady trees, and, above all, the greatgolden palace itself, its turrets flashing and glittering in the rays ofthe setting sun! The Prince could have wept for very joy. 

Everything about the palace seemed wonderfully still. The white swansslept upon the lake, and the peacocks stood like jewelled images uponthe terrace. 

Peeping about cautiously for any signs of the wicked General, the Princemade his way softly through the shrubbery till he was very near thefront entrance of the palace. Still no signs of the pretended king. Thecourt cat, sleeker than in the days when Vance made her life a burden, sat alone on the upper step, placidly washing herself. 

"You may as well come out from behind that almond-tree, " she said, "forI see you plainly enough. "

At this the Prince came out, still cautiously looking about him, and sethis box down upon the steps. 

"Dear cat, " he said politely, "how do you do?"

"Humph!" replied Tabby, rather unpleasantly. "'Dear cat!' How touching!"

"I've been gone a long time, " ventured the Prince. 

"That may be, " returned the cat; "the days have passed swiftly enoughwith us here. We have not grown thin in your absence. "

"That is true, " the Prince assented rather shamefacedly, and hehastened to change the subject. "Where is everybody?"

"Beheaded, " replied the cat, briefly; "that is, all but the King. "

"Do you mean General Bopi?" asked the Prince. "You know I have the realKing here in my box. "

"Don't quibble!" retorted the cat, sharply. "A king is known by hisdeeds. If you have seen the way he's been beheading people right andleft, I think you'd call him something more than a general. What few hehas left alive have fled from the palace and are hiding in the woods. "

[Illustration]

"And where is the Gen--King himself?" asked Vance, uneasily. 

"Oh!" replied the cat, carelessly, "he's 'round. "

"'Round where?" asked Vance. 

"'Round here, " the cat replied. 

"I don't see him, " said the Prince, with a start, as he looked about himon all sides. 

"No?" said the cat. "That's because you can't see through me. "

"How very strangely you talk, cat!" exclaimed Vance. "I don't know whatyou mean. "

"Well, " returned the cat, "you know those funny bonbons?"

"Yes, " murmured the Prince, hanging his head a bit and blushing. 

"One rolled under the sofa, " the cat observed thoughtfully. 

"Yes, " said Vance, "I remember that one was dropped and I couldn't findit. "

"After the telegram reached me from the Crushed Strawberry Wizard, "remarked the cat, "I rolled the bonbon out into the middle of thefloor. It was a pretty pink bonbon, and the King, coming into the room, saw it and gobbled it up. "

"Well, " exclaimed the Prince, breathlessly, "what then?"

The cat put out her tongue and licked her chops. 

"He was very tender, " she said. 

"You ate him?" he asked breathlessly. 

The cat placidly nodded her head, her whiskers twitching with theremembrance of her feast. 

"Then, " cried Prince Vance, joyously, "my father is King again, or willbe when he is made big enough. You say you had a telegram from theCrushed Strawberry Wizard. Tell me, do tell me, dear cat, what it said. "

"I can't till midnight, " said the cat, "or all will be spoiled, and thecharm won't work. "

XIX

Before he left home the Prince would have stamped about and made a greatuproar at being obliged to wait even a minute for anything he wanted;but of late he had learned, among other lessons, the lesson of patience;so he neither stormed nor cried, but entering the palace seated himselfwhere he could see the great hall-clock and watch for midnight. 

He was so weary, however, that he could not keep his eyes open, andpresently he was as sound asleep as a dormouse. At length the cattouched him on the shoulder, her claws pricking him so that he sprang upin a hurry. 

"Wake up!" said the cat; "the clock will strike twelve in sevenminutes. "

"Why, have I been asleep?" asked the Prince, rubbing his eyes. 

"It looks like it, " replied the cat. "Why did you leave the Court shutup in the box?"

"To tell the truth, " the Prince confessed, "I was afraid they might berunning about the floor in the dark and--something might eat them bymistake. "

"Well, " the cat answered, with a look as near a blush as a cat can cometo such a thing, "you may be right. One never can tell what may happen. It is now almost on the stroke of twelve, and we must make haste. Runout to the terrace and see if the peahen has laid an egg. If she has, bring it in here to me; and be very quick!"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the Prince hastened to do as he wasbid. He found an egg, indeed, and rushing back to the palace reached thehall just as the clock sounded the first stroke of twelve. 

"Break it exactly across the middle, and do it with three blows, " thecat commanded. 

The Prince obeyed, and from the shattered fragments of the shell, justas the last stroke of twelve ceased, out stepped the Fairy Copetta, assharp, fresh, and brisk from top to toe as if she had just been made, and not in the least as if she had found her quarters in the peahen'segg either close or confining. She shook out her petticoat with a brisklittle flirt, hopped lightly down from the table, and hit the Prince atap on the head with her cane. 

[Illustration]

"Well, " she said sharply, "how about the Blue Wizard? Do you like him aswell as you thought you should?"

"I don't know, " stammered the poor Prince, decidedly taken aback by hisgodmother's sudden appearance. "Did I say I liked him? I hadforgotten--I mean I don't like him at all, if you please, Godmother. "

"Oh!" exclaimed the old lady, mockingly, "don't you, really? Yet, if Iremember rightly, you quite longed for a visit from him a while ago. Well, then, how about the giant of Bogarru and the Funny Man, bothintimate friends of mine--did you like them, eh? Did you find them wittyand agreeable? Did they treat you with great respect because you were areal live prince, eh?"

"You know they did not, " cried the Prince. "I must say, Godmother, thatyou have strange taste in choosing friends. "

"Each to his liking, " responded Copetta, lightly. "I dare say, now, thatyou found more pleasure in that stupid jelly-fish, or that dismal brassmonkey, or that crooked man, --and _he's_ a beauty, by the way!"

"I did like them, " replied the Prince, stoutly; "they were so good tome. Are they, too, friends of yours, Godmother?"

"Why, yes, " said the fairy, her bright eyes twinkling elfishly, "I thinkI may say that they're rather intimate with me. "

"I didn't know, " ventured Vance, rather timidly, "but they might all beyou, Godmother. "

"Perhaps you think, " she answered tartly, "that I am a sort of livingmultiplication-table, or that I have as many lives as a cat. By the way, can you bound the kingdom now?"

"I ought to be able to bound it, " the Prince replied; "I have been quitearound it on foot. "

"Well, " returned his godmother, acidly, "I dare say it hasn't hurt you. That reminds me; have you had enough of it?"

"Oh, please, Godmother, " cried the Prince, "I have had enough ofeverything but kindness; and oh, Godmother, if you only would tell mehow to turn my people back again, indeed, there is nothing I wouldn'tdo. Believe me, dear Godmother, I'm a very different sort of boy fromthe one who wouldn't learn the boundaries, and wanted to know the BlueWizard; I am, indeed. "

"Humph!" sniffed the fairy, though secretly she was not ill pleased withhim, "you're a much dirtier one, at all events. Have you washed yourface since you've been gone?"

"I'm afraid I haven't washed it very often, " confessed the humbledPrince. "You see, I've had so much else on my mind, Godmother. "

"Bah!" exclaimed the fairy. "Go take a bath!"

"But the Court, Godmother, " pleaded the Prince, timidly; "they must bevery tired of being small. "

"Tut, tut, " cried the godmother, sharply, "how you do harp on onestring, to be sure! 'Tis very ill bred of you. However, as it's not foryourself, I don't mind telling you that it's a very simple matter whenyou once know how to do it. They were facing each other when theyshrank, were they not?"

"Yes, " said the Prince, blushing. 

"Turn them all back to back, then, " said the fairy, snappishly. "Ishould think any fool might have known enough to do that long ago. "

Vance opened his box, and trembling with excitement arranged hisrelatives and friends in two rows, back to back. 

Pouf! The effect was magical! Quicker by far than they had grown small, the little folk regained their former size. Then, indeed, confusionreigned. Such gabbling and chattering and running about; suchhand-shakings, embracing, and congratulations; such beratings andcuffings of Vance because he had made them small, and then such kissingsand caressings because he had made them large again! Never was thereknown such a mighty confusion and uproar in any royal palace before orsince. 

"But, Godmother, " ventured Vance, timidly, when the excitement had diedaway enough to allow a body to begin once more to think, --"But, Godmother, if you please, may I ask you one question?"

"If it's a short one, " replied the sharp old lady, "and not _too_foolish. "

"Well, then, " asked Vance, "I would like very much to know, if youplease, what we should have done if the peahen had happened not to layan egg?"

"Pshaw!" said the godmother, crisply. "Stuff!"

[Illustration]

University Press: John Wilson & Son, Cambridge.