MANNERS AND CONDUCTIN SCHOOL AND OUT BY THE DEANS OF GIRLS INCHICAGO HIGH SCHOOLS _The gentle minde by gentle deeds is knowne; For a man by nothing is so well bewrayed As by his manners. _ --SPENSER ALLYN AND BACONBOSTON NEW YORK CHICAGOATLANTA SAN FRANCISCO COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY FANNY R. SMITH. Norwood PressJ. S. Gushing Co. --Berwick & Smith Co. Norwood, Mass. , U. S. A. FOREWORD "The supreme business of the school is to develop a sense of justice, the power of initiative, independence of character, correct social andcivic habits, and the ability to coöperate toward the common good. "--Dr. Frank Crane. How do you develop correct social habits, the habits of a gentleman or alady? You develop correct social habits just as you develop correct habits inplaying ball, or in swimming, --you discover the rules; then youpractise, practise, practise. A good general rule is, Do what a kindheart prompts; for, Politeness is to do and say The kindest thing in the kindest way. We earnestly hope this little book may help girls and boys to becomehappier, more agreeable, and more effective citizens. THE DEANS OF GIRLS, CHICAGO HIGH SCHOOLS. MAXIMS OF CONDUCT Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us dare to do our duty as we understand it. --LINCOLN. Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. --EARL OF CHESTERFIELD. Do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. --FRANKLIN. The secret of success is constancy of purpose. --DISRAELI. Evil communications corrupt good manners. --NEW TESTAMENT. Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever; Do noble things, not dream them, all day long; And so make life, death, and that vast forever One grand sweet song. --KINGSLEY. Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As to be hated needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace. --POPE. In vain we call old notions fudge, And bend our conscience to our dealing; The Ten Commandments will not budge, And stealing will continue stealing. --LOWELL. GREETING _Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy. _ --Emerson. Girls, the word _lady_ should suggest, ideally, a girl (or a woman) whokeeps herself physically fit, her thinking on a high plane, and hermanners gentle and winsome. Boys, the word _gentleman_ means, ideally, a fine, athletic, manlyfellow who is an all round good sport in the best sense, and who hasmanners that do not prevent other people from seeing how fine he is. THE STREET _Remember this, --that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every act of life. _ --Marcus Aurelius. 1) If you are well brought up, girls, you will not loiter on the streetto talk to one another; much less to boys. Street visiting is taboo. 2) Boys, a gentleman does not detain on street corners a girl or womanfriend. If he meets one with whom he wishes to speak more than a moment, he asks permission to walk a little way with her. During the moment thathe does detain her, a gentleman talks with his hat in his hand. 3) You know that a boy should lift his hat or cap in recognition of agirl or woman acquaintance whom he meets on the street. But perhaps youdon't know that the same courtesy may well be offered to a man, and mustbe, if the man is walking with a girl or a woman. 4) To spit on the street or sidewalk is likely to endanger the health ofothers, and to make you seem vulgar and "horrid. " Use your handkerchief. THE STREET-CAR _Immodest words admit of no defence, For want of decency is want of sense. _ --Earl of Roscommon. 1) Avoid rushing ahead of others to secure a seat in a street-car, or tosecure any other special advantage. Some one must be last; why not you?If advancing out of turn is necessary, a little deliberation accompaniedwith, "I beg your pardon, " or "Excuse me, please" will most quickly andpleasantly open the way; otherwise, respect "the line. " 2) In a street-car, boys, you should touch your hat politely and offeryour seat to a woman, a girl, or an elderly man who is standing. Yourcourtesy should be accepted with a bow and, "Thank you. " 3) Girls, if a seat is offered you, accept it at once with "Thank you. "Don't explain that you don't mind standing. 4) On the street, in street-cars, and in all public places, if yourvoice or conduct attracts attention you will be considered "loud, ""common, " vulgar. 5) The chewing of gum in a street-car, in church, or in any other placeoutside of your own private room stamps you at once as "common. " CORRIDORS _Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint. _ --Webster. 1) Avoid all running in the corridors; start in time, and walk. 2) Avoid crowding on stairways. Avoid crowding through Assembly Halldoors. When in a mass of people, move slowly and try to keep breathingspace about yourself. 3) Avoid tossing paper on to the lockers. Avoid dropping it on thefloor; but if paper is there, train yourself to see it and to pick up atleast one piece every time you enter the corridor. This is what Dr. Crane calls a "civic habit. " 4) Boys, hats off on entering the building; don't put them on againbefore you are at the outer door ready to leave, even though you shouldsee grown men violating this rule. 5) Hold a door open for a girl or an older person to precede you inpassing through; then glance over your shoulder to prevent the door fromswinging back into the face of any person who may be following. 6) In order to appear to the best advantage, keep your hands out of yourpockets. 7) Try not to jostle one another. If by chance you do, say, "Pardonme. " 8) Observe, boys, that well-bred men rise when addressed by a woman whois standing. 9) Avoid whistling in the school building, and even in a private home, for your whistling may be annoying to some who cannot help hearing it. 10) Never, never, be so disgusting as to spit on the floor, on thestairs, or into the waste-paper box; use your handkerchief. 11) Care for your finger-nails, your face, your hair, in your room athome, not before mirrors on your locker doors, or in any other publicplace. After making your toilet as well as you can, forget it. 12) Boys, it is not necessary to help the girls mount the stairs inschool unless they are blind or crippled. 13) Girls, it is better not to twine your arms about one another in thecorridors and on the stairs; also, not to kiss one another tenderly ifyou separate for a few moments. Love your friends dearly; but besensible, not sentimental. 14) Boys, observe that the moment a woman or a girl enters a passengerelevator, gentlemen there remove their hats, --unless conditions prevent. CLASSROOM _In words, as fashions, the same rule will hold, Alike fantastic if too new or old: Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside. _ --Pope. 1) When you enter your classroom, as well as when you leave it, glancetowards your teacher and, if she is looking, bow pleasantly. 2) Say, "Yes, Miss Brown"; not merely "Yes, " if you know the name of theone addressed. If you do not know her name, let your tone and mannerindicate so fully your feeling of respect that the omission of the namewill not be noted. Say "Yes, Sir, " to men. And remember, -- Hearts, like doors, will ope with ease To very, very little keys; And don't forget that two of these Are: "Thank you, sir, " and "If you please. " 3) When sitting, push back as far as you can in the chair and leanforward from your hips, keeping your spine straight, not curved. The wayyou sit or walk or stand shows culture or lack of it. 4) When reciting, stand erect with your hands at your sides. Yourattitude will invite favorable attention if you stand with one footslightly in advance of the other, and the weight of the body on theforward foot. 5) Speak so distinctly that everyone in the room must hear you;otherwise, not everyone will get your thought. 6) Avoid raising your hand when you wish to ask or to answer a question. Instead, rise quietly, face your teacher, and wait for her to recognizeyou as though you were at a club meeting. 7) Never "tell" when another is trying to recite. Such "telling"destroys the other person's chance to think, and helps to make a sneakof you. LUNCH ROOM _Cleanness of body was ever deemed to proceed from a due reverence of God. _ --Bacon. 1) See that your hands are clean. 2) Avoid rushing into or through the Lunch Room. Walk. 3) When carrying your food to your table, pay strict attention togetting it to its destination in safety. 4) Eat in the Lunch Room, --not in the corridors, nor in the AssemblyHall, nor on the street. Give four excellent reasons for this direction. 5) Eat slowly and noiselessly; don't "feed. " Avoid talking when yourmouth is full. Take small mouthfuls, so that you may talk without givingoffense. Keep your lips closed when chewing. Never use your knife tocarry food to your mouth. 6) In the Lunch Room, as elsewhere, sit with your knees together andwith both of your feet on the floor, not on the rounds of your chairs. 7) Don't _throw_ paper and refuse into the receptacles provided; _drop_it there. 8) Avoid boisterous talking and laughing. The tones of the voiceproclaim quite accurately the social background of the boy, the girl, the man, the woman. Her voice was ever soft, Gentle, and low, --an excellent thing in woman. --SHAKESPEARE. 9) Keep elbows and wraps off the Lunch Room tables; furthermore, do notsit on the tables. 10) Leave your place in the Lunch Room tidy and spotless, with yourchair pushed up to the table. 11) Rise when an older person enters the room; remain standing untilyour courtesy is acknowledged, or until the older person is seated. (Optional with the teacher in the schoolroom. ) 12) Boys, when a girl or an older person drops a pencil, a book, oranything of the sort, pick it up and return it unobtrusively, but with alittle bow. 13) Avoid rushing from the room when the bell rings. Walk. 14) Open the door, boys, but let the girls pass out first, wheneverpracticable. When many are passing in opposite directions, keep to theright. 15) Never laugh at the accidents or misfortunes of others, even if theyhave a ridiculous side. Nothing shows ill-breeding so surely. He who laughs at others' woes Finds few friends and many foes. THE ASSEMBLY HALL _There is a time for some things, and a time for all things; a time for great things, and a time for small things. _ --Cervantes. Actions wholly appropriate to the gymnasium or the playground may bequite out of character in the Assembly Hall. Think about it. 1) Avoid all running, romping, and making of unnecessary noise in theAssembly Hall. 2) Avoid using the Assembly Hall as a thoroughfare. On entering, take aseat immediately, and remain in it until the next bell rings. Talk ingentle tones. 3) Avoid eating anything in the Assembly Hall. 4) Avoid dropping paper on the floor. Help to keep the room orderly andtidy. 5) For a program on the stage, and for general singing, gather quietlyin the center sections if your Assembly Hall is large. You should dothis without waiting to be asked. Use your judgment. 6) The appearance on the platform of one who is to speak to you shouldbe your signal for immediate silence and attention. Don't wait to becalled to order; call yourselves to order. 7) Sing so well that you make the general singing a delight. You willfind it far more fun than trying to spoil the program. Why will you?Because it is your nature to feel more satisfaction in coöperating andhelping by doing your best, than in hindering and thwarting by doingyour worst. (This is the basis of all good manners, and of civicspirit. ) 8) You should be attentive and silent, not only when some one is talkingto you from the platform and when a "number" of any kind is being given, but also during a "movie. " People who visit while others are trying toentertain them are a public nuisance. Don't let yourselves slip intothat class. Also do not tell the plot of a play or a movie to yourneighbor. 9) Never, in the Assembly Hall or in any other place where there is alarge group of people, should you stand and beckon, whistle, or"hoo-hoo" to attract the attention of your friends. 10) If you enter the Assembly Hall after the program has begun, find aseat so noiselessly as to escape notice. 11) Show your appreciation cordially, but avoid excessive applause. Never stamp your feet or whistle. Carried beyond a certain point, applause ceases to be a courtesy. Cultivate good taste in this matter. Moderation is a mark of good taste. DUTY TO CLUB OR CLASS SPONSOR _Her air, her manners, all who saw admir'd; Courteous though coy, and gentle though retir'd; The joy of youth and health her eyes display'd, And ease of heart her every look convey'd. _ --Crabbe. 1) Remind your sponsor (or adviser) of your meeting two or three days inadvance of the time. 2) Before acting on any plan, be sure of the approval of your sponsor. 3) So treat your sponsor that she (or he) will delight to be with you. THE LAVATORY _Cleanliness is next to godliness. _ --Wesley. 1) In school, in a store, in a club, on trains, in short, wherever youuse a public wash bowl, leave it as clean as possible. 2) Do not scatter toilet paper about. Keep the toilet rooms neat andclean and free from all writing on doors, walls, windows. 3) Do not loiter or visit in toilet rooms. DUTY TO YOUR CHAPERON _Though her mien carries much more invitation than command, to behold her is an immediate check to loose behaviour; to love her was a liberal education. _ --Steele. At school receptions, sleigh-rides, class meetings at private homes, andso on, there is always a chaperon, who is giving her time for yourenjoyment. Her kindness should be repaid by your courtesy. 1) As soon as possible after greeting your hostess, greet your chaperon. 2) Also, just before leaving, speak to her again cordially andgratefully. 3) See that your chaperon is not often left alone. If the function is adance, invite her to dance; or sit out a dance with her, sometimes. Makeher enjoy being your chaperon. 4) Never tease to stay when the time comes to go. 5) Don't hinder your chaperon by loitering over your wraps; be readywhen she is, and leave the building with her. DUTY TO YOUR HOSTESS _But evil is wrought by want of thought, As well as want of heart. _ --Hood. 1) Before talking with others at a party greet your hostess; then theolder people present; finally, the young people. 2) As a guest you are not expected to say good-by to everybody; butnever leave without saying good-by to your hostess and expressingappreciation of her efforts to give you pleasure. 3) Coöperate with your hostess in trying to make everyone present happy. If you fail to pay this courtesy to your hostess, you stamp yourself asan undesirable guest. 4) If the function is a dance, boys, avoid too many consecutive danceswith the same girl. Confining your attentions noticeably to the samegirl makes her conspicuous and mars the general pleasure. 5) Girls, decline consecutive dances with the same boy. Do itgraciously, explaining that you would like to accept, but must not beselfish. If he is the right sort, he will understand at once, or come tohis senses later. If he is offended, don't worry about it; it is notworth while. 6) Pay some kindly attention to the girls who do not dance all of thetime. They will feel grateful, your hostess will feel grateful, you willfeel better satisfied than if you neglect them. 7) Never refrain from dancing if any girl present is without a partnerfor that number. To refrain is selfish in you, and discourteous to boththe girl and your hostess. 8) Girls, don't quit one of your friends to go and whisper with another. Such an action is sure to be considered unkind and inconsiderate. 9) Train your eye to see how you may add to the enjoyment of all, or ofa single one, and act promptly. Incidentally, you thus add to your ownenjoyment. Often think of Tennyson's words:-- For manners are not idle, but the fruit Of loyal nature and of noble mind. DUTY TO ONE ANOTHER _If it is not seemly, do it not; if it is not true, speak it not. _ --Marcus Aurelius. 1) After dancing with a girl thank her and walk back with her to herseat, to her chaperon, or to her next partner. Never leave her standingalone in the middle of the floor. 2) Girls, if your partner doesn't dance well, take it pleasantly--butnot as too much of a joke--and help him to do better. 3) Avoid looking at a boy with your soul in your eyes. A girl holds thekey to the social situation. She should keep such a situation at schoolon a cordial but wholly matter-of-fact basis, --absolutely free fromsentimentality. 4) Base your friendships on good comradeship, not on maudlin emotion, nor on propinquity. The right kind of girl and boy friendships may givejoy for a lifetime; the wrong kind must be a continual menace. 5) Don't be prudes, girls, but let every boy know that he must keep hishands off from you. If he presumes, a cool glance on your part willusually restrain him. If it does not, avoid him; he is unworthy of yourfriendship. 6) Boys, you can easily tell what girls would have you sit very closeto them, and hold their hands, and put your arms around them. But, bemanly. Always protect a girl; protect her from yourself, even fromherself. If she does not wish to be so protected, avoid her as you wouldthe plague. 7) When you call on a girl, you shouldn't remain after ten o'clock eventhough the girl wants you to. Girls, you should not urge. And, girls, observe how your boy friends fit themselves into the family group. 8) A gift you should acknowledge at once and cordially. But, boys, letyour gifts to girls be rare, and restricted to candy, books, andflowers. 9) To force your presence upon those who seem not to want you, tends tocrystallize their feeling of antagonism. On the other hand, nothing morequickly disarms this feeling of antagonism than evidence of delicacy onyour part. 10) Girls, it is poor policy to call up boys often by telephone, and badmanners to whistle to attract their attention. 11) For you to sit at a social gathering with hat and coat on, girls, --even though you must leave in a few moments, --is discourteousboth to your hostess and to the other guests. DUTY TO OLDER PEOPLE _The mildest manners, and the gentlest heart. _ --Pope. 1) Show especial deference--not indifference--to your superiors in age, office, and the like. Do this not once, but always. Watch foropportunities. 2) Rise, when an older person who is standing begins to talk to you. 3) If you wish to become a musician, you seek help from the finestmusical instructor within reach. Just so in the greater art of livingeffectively, seek help from those who have learned wisdom. As a rule, your parents and your teachers are your best counsellors. They havetraveled the road before you, and have your highest interests at heart. Listen to them. Don't make your life a wild experiment in blundering; itdoesn't pay. 4) Never regard age, even advanced age, as a joke. To do so blunts yourown sensibilities. INVITATIONS _That man may last, but never lives, Who much receives, but nothing gives. _ --Gibbons. 1) If you receive a written invitation, send a written reply. Let thereply accord with the invitation in being either formal, or informal. 2) You will be thought discourteous if you fold your note carelessly, write on soiled or ragged paper, use pencil instead of ink, or delayyour reply. 3) Accepting an invitation binds you, in honor, to carry out yourengagement. If circumstances prevent, at once inform the one who invitedyou; and do it in a considerate manner. INTRODUCTIONS Introduce a man to a woman, a boy to a girl, a younger person to anolder, thus: Mrs. Jones, may I present (or introduce) my friend MissHolbrook? or, Miss Brown, my friend Mr. Williams; or, Father, this isEthel Reed. Let your manner and voice be dignified and gracious, yourwords simple. But _avoid_, --Mrs. Jones, meet Miss Holbrook; or, Mr. Brown, shake hands with Mr. Smith. DANCING REQUIREMENTS _Come and trip it as ye go On the light fantastic toe. _ --Milton. The National Association of Dancing Masters is responsible for thefollowing rules. You may well think those dancers who disregard themeither ignorant, or awkward, or vulgar. 1) Face your partner at a distance of six or eight inches, bodiesparallel, shoulders parallel. 2) If you are leading, place your right hand between the shoulders ofyour partner, keeping your right elbow well away from your body. 3) See that above, but not resting on this arm, is your partner's leftarm, at right angles with her body, her hand just back of the curve ofyour shoulder. 4) Let your left hand, palm up, clasp your partner's right. A line fromthese hands to the opposite elbows should be parallel with your parallelbodies. 5) Remember, --bobbing and wriggling are taboo. Let the spring come fromthe ankles and the knees. Imitate the grace of the swallow. REFRESHMENTS AT PARTIES _Socrates said, "Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live. "_ --Plutarch. 1) Keep your refreshments simple and inexpensive. After you are betteracquainted, omit them frequently. 2) Boys, you should be alert to help serve, but use your judgment; don'tgo off in a group to enjoy yourselves in the business of serving oreating. 3) Avoid dropping crumbs on the floor or scattering them over theserving tables. Avoid placing anything hot or moist on a surface thatmay be disfigured by it. 4) Pay special attention to any who seem shy or afraid to mingle withthe other guests. See that everybody has a good time. 5) Help clean up at once, boys, what should be cleaned up, and leave theroom you use in perfect order. Don't walk off and let the girls do itall. Make yourselves useful until the work is finished. TABLE MANNERS _Some hae meat and canna eat, And some would eat that want it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, Sae let the Lord be thankit. _ --Burns. 1) Do you know that table manners proclaim at once your social training? 2) Boys, at a dining table, draw back the chair for the girl or thewoman next to you, push it under her as she sits down, and then takeyour own seat. 3) Girls and boys, let your napkin lie open across your lap. 4) At home leave your napkin folded neatly, or in its ring, if there isa ring. But, let it lie loose beside your plate when you are at a hotel;partly folded, when you are a guest in a private home. 5) Never use a toothpick at the table or in the presence of others. Ifit seems absolutely necessary to use one at the table, cover your lipswith your napkin; elsewhere, with your handkerchief. 6) Hold your knife in your right hand, not as though it were apenholder, but so that you may easily press down on the back of theknife with your right forefinger. 7) In a similar position, when cutting food, hold your fork tines downwith your left hand. But, in carrying food to your mouth, have the tinescurve up, not down, and take your fork in your right hand between yourthumb and forefinger, so that it rests comfortably near the tip of thesecond finger. 8) Never should your table knife be used for conveying food to yourmouth. 9) You find your small bread and butter plate and butter spreader atyour left. Never spread at once an entire slice of bread; break off ahalf or a quarter and spread it on your bread and butter plate, --not onthe palm of your hand. 10) When your plate is passed for a second helping, let your knife andfork remain on it, side by side; also, when you have finished. Neverrest your knife or fork partly on the table and partly on your plate oryour napkin ring. Avoid mixing your food on your plate. 11) Use a fork when eating vegetables and salad, --and ice-cream, if anice-cream fork is provided. 12) If cutting the lettuce leaves of your salad is necessary, cut withyour fork. 13) Make the least possible noise in chewing, and none at all in takingfood from a spoon. Sometimes, in eating crisp toast, for example, it isvery difficult to avoid a crunching sound, but eat slowly, taking verysmall mouthfuls, and you can avoid noise. 14) Don't drink from a cup while it holds a spoon. When not using yourteaspoon, let it lie on the saucer. Do not drink from your saucer. Stirquietly, and lay your spoon in your saucer at once. 15) At the table, keep your hands in your lap when you are not eating;toying with articles on the table is bad form. 16) Between courses, avoid lounging back in your chair; keep your spinestraight, your body poised a little forward, and your mind occupied withthe conversation which you are helping to make pleasant. 17) Eat a little less of everything than you might. Shrink from theslightest appearance of greediness. 18) Use knives, forks, and spoons in the order you find them. When indoubt, observe your hostess. 19) After dipping the tips of your fingers into your finger bowl, drythem lightly on your napkin. 20) When the hostess rises, boys, rise and draw back the chair of thegirl or the woman next you as she rises, and let her precede you fromthe room. DUTY TO YOURSELF _This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. _ --Shakespeare. 1) Take a complete bath at least three times a week; better still, everyday. 2) Keep your hair, teeth, finger nails, and clothes in good condition. Look well groomed. 3) If you eat, sleep, and exercise properly, your health and yourcomplexion will be at their best. Consult your gymnasium teacher on thesubject, or consult a reliable book. 4) Girls, when you dress your hair too startlingly, wear waists that aretoo low or too thin, use powder and rouge, you remind boys and men ofthe wrong kind of woman. The best time for cosmetics, if you must usethem, is not during your school days. 5) Of course dress as becomingly as you can; but, in the main, rely foryour attractiveness on your attainments, your gentle manners, your tact, and your active desire to render others comfortable and happy. 6) Cultivate charm, girls and boys. The best teacher of "How to becharming, " is a really kind heart. Every one of you can have that. 7) If your heart is kind, you will learn to talk interestingly, and tolisten intelligently. 8) Try, increasingly, to fit your word to your thought, and your thoughtto the fact. Being accurate does not mean being dull. Effective speechhas much need for imagination, but very little for common slang. Youunderstand and enjoy, -- These growing feathers plucked from Caesar's wing Will make him fly an ordinary pitch. If, however, in slang phrase, a person spoke of "swiping Caesar's dope";or of making Caesar "come off his perch, " you would see that somethingfine in the thought had vanished. Practise expressing your ideas asattractively as possible. 9) Don't make cutting remarks about those who are absent; your wit maywin a laugh, but its unkindness will cause others to like you the less. They will feel uncomfortable about what you may say of them in _their_absence. 10) Whenever you are curious about the wonderful experience which wecall "birth, " think of it reverently, and go at once for information toyour father or mother; if you lack these, to some high-minded friendmuch older than you. Otherwise, inclose a stamped envelope addressed toyourself in a letter to the Y. M. C. A. Or the Y. W. C. A. Or the FederalBureau of Information, Washington, D. C. , asking the title of the bestbook for a boy or a girl of your age, about the Beginnings of Life. 11) Never listen to explanations from the ignorant or the vulgar. Impurethoughts on this subject lead to the ruin of both body and spirit. Purethoughts lead to the most precious possessions the world can give:father, mother, sister, brother, friend, husband, wife, children, home, country. 12) Be dependable. If any quality is _most_ desirable, it is that ofdependableness. In school you have wonderful opportunities forcultivating it. 13) Every one of you should aim to become economically independent. Tothat end, decide on a vocation and plan your studies accordingly. If youwish to change later, very well; but always work towards a definitegoal. 14) Avoid showing your displeasure with an acquaintance by not bowing. To do so is crude. A formal bow should be bestowed even on an enemy. "Cut" an acquaintance only when you have reason to believe him anutterly unfit companion. 15) "Make up" at once with a friend. "I'm sorry, " helps. But in casethis fails, find a way that succeeds. Don't lose your friend. 16) Be courteous, frank, and friendly. Don't try to be popular byattracting attention. Popularity which has to be sought is of shortduration. HOME _Such is the patriot's boast, where'er we roam, -- His first, best country ever is at home. _ --Goldsmith. 1) The finer you are, the more certain you will be to practice in yourown home every courtesy which you know is due elsewhere. If you are notpolite and considerate in your home, you cannot help showing that factaway from home. 2) The spirit that aims at giving pleasure rather than annoyance or painwill not wish to take any "vacation. " At first, the courteous thoughtand act may require conscious effort. Persistent practice, however, crystallizes this conscious effort into confirmed habit; the result is, a _lady_, a _gentleman_.