LUCKY PEHR [A Drama in Five Acts] By August Strindberg Author Of "Easter, " Etc. Translated By Velma Swanston Howard Authorized Edition CHARACTERS OLD MAN IN THE TOWER. PEHR. LISA. FAIRY. ELF. RATS [NILLA AND NISSE]. BUTLER. ASSESSOR. PETITIONER. FIRST FRIEND. SECOND FRIEND. A WOMAN. PILLORY. STATUE. WAGONMAKER. SHOEMAKER. CHIROPODIST. STREET-PAVER. RELATIVE. BURGOMASTER. ONE OF THE PEOPLE. CHAMBERLAIN OF THE CALIPH. AMEER. COURT HISTORIAN. COURT MULLAH. GRAND VIZIER. POET LAUREATE. BRIDE. SINGER. DEATH. WISE MAN. SAINT BARTHOLOMEW. SAINT LAURENCE. BROOM. PALL. A VOICE. Townspeople, Dancers, Viziers, Courtiers, Court Attendants, etc. LUCKY PEHR [Allegorical play in Five Acts] SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT I. --Room in a Church Tower. ACT II. --[a] Forest--[b] Rich Man's Banquet Hall. ACT III. -Public Square and Town Hall. ACT IV. --[a] Caliph's Palace--[b] Seashore. ACT V. --Country Church [Interior]. TIME: Middle Ages. ACT ONE SCENE: A Room in the Church Tower. Window shutters at back wide open, starlit sky is seen through windows. Background: Snow covered house-roofs; gable windows in the distancebrilliantly illuminated. In room an old chair, a fire-pan and a pictureof the Virgin, with a lighted candle before it. Room is divided byposts--two in centre thick enough to conceal an adult. Chant, in unison, from the church below: A Solis ortus cardine Et usque terrae limitem Christum canamus principem Natum Maria Virgini. [Old Man comes up tower steps and enters carrying a rat-trap, abarley-sheaf and a dish of porridge, which he sets down on the floor. ] OLD MAN. Now the elf shall have his Christmas porridge. And this yearhe has earned it honestly--twice he awakened me when I fell asleep andforgot the tower shutters; once he rang the bell when fire broke loose. Merry Christmas, Elf! and many of them. [Takes up rat-trap and sets it. ]Here's your Christmas mess, Satan's rats! A VOICE. Curse not Christmas! OLD MAN. I believe there are spirits about to-night--Ugh! it's the coldincreasing; then the beams always creak, like an old ship. Here's yourChristmas supper. Now perhaps you'll quit gnawing the bell-rope andeating up the tallow, you accursed pest! A VOICE. Curse not Christmas! OLD MAN. The spooks are at it again! Christmas eve--yes, yes! [Placesrat-trap on the floor. ] There! Now they have their portion. And nowcomes the turn of the feathered wretches. They must have grain, ofcourse, so they can soil the tin roof for me. Such is life! The churchwardens pay for it, so it's not my affair. But if I were to ask for anextra shilling two in wages--that they couldn't afford. That wouldn'tbe seen! But when one sticks out a grain-sheaf on a pole once a year, it looks generous. Ah, that one is a fine fellow!--and generosity is avirtue. Now, if we were to share and share alike, I should get back myporridge, which I gave to the elf. [Shakes sheaf and gathers the graininto a bowl. ] A VOICE. He robs Christmas! He robs Christmas! OLD MAN. Now I'll put this thing on the pole so that it will look like asymbol, and as a symbol it will also be of service--for it shows whatis not to be found within. [He puts sheaf through window and hangs iton pole, then shakes his fist at town below. ] Oh, you old human pit downthere! I spit on you! [Spits through window; comes down and sees theburning candle before the Virgin's picture. ] This must be the boy'sdoings! The times are not such that one burns up candles needlessly. [Snuffs out light and puts the candle into his pocket. ] A VOICE. Woe! Woe! [Head of Virgin shakes three times and a bright rayof light darts out from the head. ] OLD MAN. [Shrinking. ] Is hell let loose to-night? A VOICE. Heaven! OLD MAN. Pehr, Pehr! Where are you? My eyes! Light the candles--My son, my son! VIRGIN'S IMAGE. _My_ SON! OLD MAN. [Groping his way toward the stairs. ] My eyes! Hell-fire! [Herushes down the steps. ] [Two rats, Nisse and Nilla, come on right, one behind the other. Theyhave mourning veils swathed about their tails. ] NISSE. I say, it smells like roast pig! NILLA. Oh, I promise you! Be careful, Nisse! I see the trap over there. [Sits on hind legs. ] 'Twas in that very trap that our little ones werelost! O dear, dear, dear! NISSE. If we could only hit upon some trick to play on the bad old manit would do my bowels good! Can you see if he has left anything aboutwhich he values? NILLA. Suppose we gnaw the ropes so the bells will tumble down on hishead-- NISSE. Why, Nilla! you know that I have only one poor tooth left in myhead. NILLA. But I have two--and where there's a will there's--but you, youhave no feeling for your children! NISSE. Come now! we shan't quarrel on Christmas Eve. NILLA. Hush! What have we here? NISSE. A dish of porridge-- NILLA. Which the old man has left-- NISSE. For the elf. He's afraid of him! NILLA. Now I know! We'll eat up the porridge so-- NISSE. The elf will get after him-- NILLA. And he can raise the mischief when he gets angry. [They are overby the dish now, and eating. ] NISSE. Oh, move along and make room for me! NILLA. Hush! It creaks in the stairs. NISSE. Now I see the bottom of the dish; there's the lump of butter! NILLA. Help me with this corner. NISSE. Ah!--now we'll wipe our mouths and run. [They scurry off left. ] [Elf slides down bell-rope. ] ELF. [Walks about and searches. ] Where's my Christmas porridge? Iscented its aroma a long way off. It will taste good to me on a coldnight, like this. I hope he has given me a big lump of butter this year, since I have been so good to him. [Loosens belt. ] There! get you ready, my stomach. I'll let out two holes in the belt, which will make it aboutright. [He sees dish. ] Ah, ha! what's this? Empty dishes! What has comeover the old man-hater? Has he grown stingy and arrogant, or does hemock me, when he sets out an empty dish! There has been porridge here[smells]--butter, too! Well, well, old man! I'm sorry for you, but Ishall have to punish you. The elf is for the purpose of punishing andrewarding. I must sit down and think out some _real_ Christmas gift. [Sits in chair. ] Let me see! The old man shuts himself up in this placewith his son, whom he wishes to shield from the evils and shams of theworld. The old man has seen much of the world, and hates it; the youngone has never been beyond the church door and has seen the world onlyfrom the tower. But I know that it tempts him, just because he has seenit like this--from a bird's-eye view. The old man has but one wish inlife--that his son shall succeed him and thus be spared the struggles oflife and the cruelty of men. It is this wish which I shall cross; it ishis only vulnerable point. Well and good! I'll call his godmother. Sheshall take the boy in hand and show him all the glories of the world;afterwards, there will be nothing more for the old man to do in thematter. The dreams of youth--I know their powers. Well, then! [Blows awhistle. ] [Fairy dressed like an old witch, with brown cloak and cane, emergesfrom behind a post. ] FAIRY. Good evening, lad. ELF. Good evening, old lady. Can you corrupt a young man?--Oh!understand me aright. FAIRY. That depends-- ELF. It won't go in that costume! You see, it's a question of the oldman's son. FAIRY. Our Pehr? ELF. Just he! Hush, old lady, I'm talking now! The boy is very dear tomy heart--that he has been ever since his birth. We--you and I--stoodsponsor for him, and we each have our duties. His education is beingneglected; he has seen nothing of the world, although he is fifteento-day. I want him to go out and look around so he will be a credit tous. Have you anything against it? FAIRY. Nothing. But I fear that he will meet with difficulties out therewhich we cannot adjust, since our power does not extend beyond thesechurch walls. ELF. True; and I must search my brain for another idea. Ah--I have it!We'll each give him his godgift, which can serve him in all conditionsof life. FAIRY. And what shall you give? Let us hear! ELF. Life is rather ticklish, as you know, and the boy is young! He hasnot as yet, through proper training, had time to learn all the arts bywhich one gains one's wishes. Now, I ask nothing more of life, for Iknow what it gives; therefore he shall have my wish-ring. And you? FAIRY. I daresay that gift is a good one, but when once he has gotall that he wished for, he will have made his journey like the blind;therefore I shall give him a gift which will show him matter's facevalue--I shall give him good company on the way. ELF. Feminine? FAIRY. Naturally. ELF. You're a wise one! No--now you shall take charge of the lad and seethat he gets away. FAIRY. But how? He fears and obeys his father. ELF. Fiddlesticks! Do your hokus-pokus and show him all the glories downthere, in the Christmas-bedecked homes. Then it will go fast enough! FAIRY. Do you think so? ELF. I know the young. Here's my ring--and now to business! FAIRY. Is it right to play with human destiny? ELF. We only play with human beings, their destinies we do not control. Soon or late, the boy will go out into the world, and he is betterequipped than many who have faced life before him. When his journey isover, we can discuss the subject more at length. Are you ready? FAIRY. [Going toward post. ] Immediately. [Fairy disappears. ] ELF. Then I'll whistle. [Disappears behind the other post. ] [Pehr comes down steps leading from top of tower. ] PEHR. Who's there? FAIRY. [Appears suddenly, dressed in white. ] Your godmother, Pehr. Don'tyou know me? PEHR. Ah! you are the one who caught me in your arms that time, when Ifell from the tower. What do you want of me to-day? FAIRY. I want to give you a Christmas gift. PEHR. A gift? What is that? FAIRY. Something that gives one pleasure. PEHR. Pleasure? FAIRY. Fulfillment of one's wishes. PEHR. Wishes! Now I begin to understand. FAIRY. When standing out there on the balcony, have you never felt as ifsomething were drawing you--sort of enticing you down? PEHR. Yes, that I have felt. You see the black streak over there, wherelight and darkness meet? In the daytime it looks different; and when thewind blows, it moves. FAIRY. The forest. PEHR. What is it like in the forest? FAIRY. It is cool and delightful. PEHR. That's well! Thither I am drawn, sometimes, so powerfully that Iwant to rush through the tower window and soar, like the birds in theair! FAIRY. Beyond the borders of the forest? PEHR. Is there something beyond? FAIRY. There lies the world. PEHR. The world! What is that? FAIRY. Would you like to see it? PEHR. Is it pleasant? FAIRY. Some say it is; the majority say it is not. Come over here andI will show you some pictures from that checkered panorama which peoplecall life. [Transparency curtain. ] Do you see the great house on the square, where all the windows arelighted? The rich man lives there. Now look into the rooms. On the tablethere is a lighted Christmas-tree laden with all kinds of gifts: thegolden fruits of the tropics from across the seas; earth's hiddentreasures, to which people bend the knee and which in their dazzlingsettings reflect the lights. But, do you see the light in the facesof the little children? That is the earth-life's sun--that is_happiness_--which is something you do not know, poor child! But youshall know it. You want to, do you not? PEHR. Who is the good fairy that walks about and gives the children thegolden fruits? FAIRY. That is the mother. PEHR. Mother?--I don't understand. FAIRY. You, too, had a mother, but she died when you were very young. PEHR. And the old man in the corner, with the mild look in his eyes? FAIRY. He is the father, who in memory is living over his childhood. PEHR. The father! But he looks so pleasant. FAIRY. Yes, for he loves some one besides himself. PEHR. And the youth who puts his arm around the young girl'swaist--[Eagerly. ] Now he presses his face against hers--their lipsmeet--what does that mean? Does one speak like that in life? FAIRY. That is love's way of speaking. PEHR. Love! Then it must be glorious to see it all! FAIRY. Wait! Now look up there, in the gable window--a single candleburns, a poor, wretched light. [Tableau. ] PEHR. Poverty! That I know. Show me something pretty! FAIRY. [Regarding him. ] You are pleasure loving. Very well!--Look againup there, around the same Christmas light--it shines dimly but warmly onthe contented table of poverty. PEHR. No! I want to see something beautiful. FAIRY. Really! Is there anything more beautiful than--but, wait! youshall see--Now look over yonder--toward the castle, where the Kinglives. [Tableau. ] PEHR. Oh! FAIRY. Do you see the beautiful robes, the glittering jewels? Do yousee how the walls reflect the brilliant lights and how in the middle ofwinter real roses and blue lilies are in bloom? PEHR. Oh! FAIRY. And the young girls, with the flowing locks, who serve wine insilver goblets-- PEHR. _There_ I want to be! FAIRY. And now stewards, in white, carry on the dishes. PEHR. Oh! FAIRY. The heralds rap on the floor with their staves--the trumpetssound--[Three strokes of a bell are heard; the tower chamber takes onits former appearance. ] Alas! the time is up. Pehr, do you wish to goout and taste of life? PEHR. Yes, yes! FAIRY. Good and bad? PEHR. Bad? That I think I know; the good I would learn to know. FAIRY. You think so? But you shall soon see that all which seems good isnot good, and all that seems bad is not bad. PEHR. Only let me get out--and away from here! FAIRY. You may go; but first I want to give you, as a help on yourjourney, a gift which will be of service to you. When you have it, you will have been given more than others, and therefore more will berequired of you at some future time. PEHR. Let me see it! FAIRY. This ring has the power to grant you all your wishes--to yourcredit, but to no one's harm. PEHR. That's a fine ring! But what will the old man say? FAIRY. He is only going to meet with his just punishment--punishment forhis selfishness. PEHR. Yes, that is just. All the same I feel sorry for him. FAIRY. Do not grieve for him; I shall watch over his sorrow. PEHR. Sorrow! Nothing else? Sorrow, he says, is the one pleasure inlife. Let him sit and enjoy it then. I shall probably furnish him withopportunities. FAIRY. And lastly, young man, will you take provisions from the WiseMan? PEHR. What should they be?--Good advice? FAIRY. Yes. PEHR. Alas, I have such quantities of that! FAIRY. I know that, and I know its fate. Farewell then! May life soteach you to live that when your journey is over you shall be--whethergreat or obscure; successful or unsuccessful; learned or ignorant--aman, and above all, a manly man. Farewell! [Fairy disappears in column. ] PEHR. [Alone. ] Well, Pehr, you are going out into life! Others beforeyou have probably done likewise. But is it, then, so difficult outthere? To be sure I have stood on the church roof and watched thethrongs of people down in the street crawl around each other, going andcoming. To me they appear so quiet and orderly, and I don't see thatthey trample on one another, although they are as thick as gnats. That dogs and apprentices fight sometimes, that I have seen, but grownfolk--never! The old man and I never fight, although we pass each otheron the stairs ten times a day. True, he has beaten me, but I have neverbeaten him; and other people may not be so bad either, if the truth weretold. Wasn't there a fire the other day in the house of a rich merchantand didn't a lot of poor wretches come running from all directions, anddidn't they go up to the rich man's place and save his goods? Oh, yes, Isaw how they took silver pieces from his table and carried them far outof the city, where they hid them behind haystacks so the silver wouldn'tbe burned up. Wasn't that kind of them? We shall see, we shall see!Meanwhile, my dear Pehr, you shall go out and have a look at the worldand make use of your gifts. [Examines ring. ] Let's see! What shall Iwish for first? [Old man enters as if through wall. ] PEHR. Oh! so the old man is here. I did not hear your footsteps on thestairs. Which way did you come? OLD MAN. [Alarmed. ] Did you see? PEHR. No. OLD MAN. Let me look at you! [Gazes fixedly at him. ] Something hashappened here-- PEHR. Nothing--nothing whatever! OLD MAN. My son, it will soon be midnight. Don't you want to retire toyour room so that I may lock you in? PEHR. You always want to shut me in! Tell me, Father, have you nevermeant to let me out in the world? Surely you cannot have thought that Ishould sit here forever, and dry up! OLD MAN. I have seen life; I know its Sodom apples--therefore I wish toshield you. PEHR. But life is not as sour as you say, perhaps. OLD MAN. What do you know about it? PEHR. Oh, I can see things from my high place! Come here and I will showyou. OLD MAN. What can you show me that I do not already know? PEHR. [Leads Old Man to the window. ] Look! Do you see the great house onthe square? OLD MAN. Yes; but make haste! Before the clock strikes twelve, you mustbe in bed. PEHR. Do you see the Christmas-tree, with its gold and silver? OLD MAN. Only paper, boy! PEHR. And the golden fruits of the tropics? OLD MAN. Worm-eaten-- PEHR. And the sun--Happiness--how it shines on the children's faces! OLD MAN. Between times distorted by envy-- PEHR. And the old man who sits there, contented and happy-- OLD MAN. It's a lie! He trembles in his heart for the house rent, whichmust be paid on the new year-- PEHR. He--the rich man? OLD MAN. Hides his approaching downfall! PEHR. And those young people--Do you see how he stretches his arm-- OLD MAN. After the father's money bag! PEHR. Shame on you! Their lips meet-- OLD MAN. In lust! PEHR. What is that?--Ah! Now look up there, at the gable window, withthe single light-- OLD MAN. Prompted by caution, which demands darkness-- PEHR. By the glow of contentment's calm light-- OLD MAN. Which they stole from the spice stall, and their delight is inplanning the next expedition to the city market. I know it, do you hear!And up there, in the palace, where the lights glisten by the thousandsand mirror themselves in the wines' sour streams--there they roll--emptyheads and empty hearts--who say that they think and feel for thepeople's welfare! There they roll, between bottles and dishes-- PEHR. Why do you talk so fast? Let me continue-- OLD MAN. No! Away with you and obey, boy! PEHR. Yes, away from here! I want to go out and see the world. I wantto see child-faces--even if they can be clouded by envy's cankerworm! Iwant to taste the fruit of the tropics even if it is worm-eaten! I woulddrink the wine though it were gall, and I want to put my arm around amaid's waist, even if a bankrupt father does sit at the hearth stone! Iwant silver and gold--if in the end it is nothing but dross! OLD MAN. Hell-fire! who's been here? A VOICE. Curse not Christmas! PEHR. What can this mean? It is so strange here to-night--stranger thanusual. Father, look at me! Why, that's not his face! OLD MAN. [Kneeling. ] My son! Listen to your father--obey the old man, who wishes you only good; remain within these peaceful walls! PEHR. It is too late! OLD MAN. What do I see?--that ring! who gave it to you? [Tries to takethe ring from Pehr. ] PEHR. Who are you? You are not my father! OLD MAN. Your guilty, your unhappy father, who is bound by thewitchcraft of the Powers! [Old Man is transformed into a big black cat. ] PEHR. Jesu Maria, help! [Bright rays dart out from Virgin's image; clockstrikes twelve. ] PEHR. The witch! The witch! Away, unclean spirit! [Cat vanishes. ] Andnow--[opens tower shutters] for life! [Fingers ring. ] To the forest. [Going through window. ] _Out_! CURTAIN. ACT TWO SCENE ONE. Snow-clad woods; diagonally across stage is an ice-covered brook. Dawn. Wind blows through the trees as curtain rises. Pehr on. PEHR. So this is the forest, whither my thoughts have so often flownthrough the clear air, and this is the snow! Now I want to throwsnowballs, as I've seen school boys do. It is supposed to be somethinguncommonly amusing. [He takes up some snow and casts a few snowballs. ]H-m! That's not so wonderful! Once again--I think it almost stupid. But what is it that plays up in the tree tops? The wind--Ah, it soundsrather well. Zoo, zoo, zoo! But one grows sleepy if one listens to thatlong. Zoo, zoo, zoo! Now it sounds like the gnats on a summer's evening. Strange how short everything is out here in Nature! The dullness inthe tower--that was long! Now it's not at all pretty or amusing. [Seesbrook. ] Why, what is this? Ice! What pleasure can one get from that? Ah, now I remember--one can skate on it. I must try that! [He goes out onthe brook; slides; ice cracks; he falls from fright and lies there, stunned. ] [Enter Lisa. ] LISA. [Runs up to Pehr. ] There he is! Ah--he sleeps! [Sees somethingthat glitters. ] What is that? [Picks up ring, which Pehr dropped when hefell. ] A ring! He is sleeping in the snow! What can have happened? Heis hurt! What can I do? In the very heart of the forest and right inthe snow! Not a human being comes this way. He'll freeze to death if hecannot get away. The good fairy sent me here to look up that boy, butshe did not tell me that I should find him half dead in a snow drift! Ifonly it were summer, with the sun shining on the green grass-carpet-- [Lisa fingers ring. Transformation: Landscape is changed from winterinto summer; brook loses ice-cake and runs forth between the stones; sunshines on the whole. ] LISA. What can be the meaning of this! [Amazed, glances in alldirections. Pehr awakens. ] PEHR. [Rubbing his eyes. ] Why, what is this--I fly from the churchtower, come into a forest of snow, throw snowballs, skate, bump my headon the ice, lose my senses--then I wake up and find that it is summer!Have I been lying here under the snow six months? No, it doesn't seemlikely. [Looks at himself in the brook. ] I'm as red as a rose. [Bendsover water. ] But what do I see down in the deep--A blue sky, greentrees, white water-lilies, and right in their midst--a girl!--just likethe one the youth had his arm around in the Christmas-home: flowinghair, a mouth like a song, eyes like the dove's!--Ah! she nods tome--I'm coming, I'm coming! [About to plunge into the brook, when Lisagives a cry. He turns. ] There she is! A moment ago she was down here. LISA. So it seems, but do not always believe your eyes. PEHR. A strange world, this! But let me see if it is the same girl?[Stares at her. ] Yes, it is she. [Starts to run toward her, then catchessight of ring. ] What! my ring? You robbed me while I lay senseless!Oh, do not believe your eyes, you said. No! for now I have my firstlesson--I wanted to embrace an angel, and I find a thief. LISA. Do not always believe your eyes, Pehr; investigate before youjudge. PEHR. You are right. I shall do so. Girl, who are you? What is yourname? LISA. Lisa is my name, but who I am you must not know until the time isfulfilled. I came here and found you senseless--on the ice I found yourring, the powers of which I did not know. PEHR. You have saved me from certain death in the snow. Forgive me!Lisa, you shall go with me on my journey, and you shall see a jollylife. LISA. You are traveling, you say--What is the object of your journey? PEHR. I seek--like all the rest--happiness. LISA. You seek happiness! That is a fleeting thing. PEHR. Ah, say not so! I can have all that I wish for. Have we notbeen given the most delightful summer in the middle of winter? See howgloriously the sun shines up in the pines! You must know that all thisis new to me. Oh, look! [Picks up a few spruce-cones. ] What are these? LISA. The fruit of the trees. PEHR. Then it is good to eat. LISA. No; but children play with it. PEHR. Play--that I have never done! Shall we play, Lisa? LISA. Yes--but what? Shall we play a game of tag? PEHR. How does it go? LISA. Watch me! [She runs behind a tree and throws cones at Pehr. ] Nowcatch me! PEHR. [Running after her. ] But that's not so easily done! [Steps on acone and hurts his foot. ] The damned spruce apples! LISA. Mustn't curse the fruit of the trees! PEHR. One can do without such fruit! I prefer the kind I saw on aChristmas-tree. If this spruce could bear such fruit, then--[Instantlyspruce bears oranges. ] Look, look! Let us taste. [They pick fruit andeat. ] LISA. Well, what think you? PEHR. Oh! it's rather good--but not quite what I had fancied. LISA. So it is always--all through life. PEHR. My dear girl, how wise you are! Lisa, may I put my arm around yourwaist? [A bird in the tree begins to sing softly. ] LISA. Yes; but what for? PEHR. May I kiss you also? LISA. Yes--there's no harm in that, surely. [Bird sings louder. ] PEHR. I'm so warm after the play, Lisa! Shall we bathe in the brook? LISA. [Covers her eyes with her hands. ] Bathe! PEHR. [Throws off coat. ] Yes! LISA. [Hides behind a tree. ] No, no, no! [Bird sings. ] PEHR. Who is that screech-owl up in the tree? LISA. It is a bird that sings. PEHR. What does he sing about? LISA. Hush! I understand bird language; that my godmother taught me. PEHR. It will be fun hearing about it! [Bird sings. ] LISA. "Not so, not so!" he said just then. [Bird sings again. ] Pehr, doyou know what he said then? PEHR. No. LISA. "Live guiltless! Mine eye seeth thee. " PEHR. Guiltless--what is that? LISA. I don't know--but dress yourself! PEHR. It's only nonsense; there's no one here to see us. [Cuckoo calls. ]Cuckoo! Cuckoo! PEHR. What is that rogue calling? LISA. [Imitates cuckoo. ] Cuckoo, cuckoo! PEHR. What a lot of tiresome formalities there has got to be! LISA. Can you not enjoy the great, innocent pleasures of Nature? PEHR. Yes, for a little while--What was that? [Tears off vest. ] LISA. An ant. PEHR. [Beats right and left with his hat. ] Only look at all the horridpests! Ouch! what was it that stung me? A mosquito! LISA. Everything here in life is incomplete, Pehr. Remember that, andtake the bad with the good. PEHR. Deuce take the bad! I want the good. [Beats at the air. ] Now I'mtired of the for est. Surely one cannot play all one's life! I yearn foractivity, and want to be among people. Tell me, Lisa--you, who are sucha wise little creature, what do people value most? For that I shallprocure for myself. LISA. Pehr, before I answer you, listen to a sensible word! People willcause you just as much annoyance as the mosquitoes do, but they will notgive you the delight to be found in Nature's perennial youth. PEHR. Nature!--Oh, yes, it is very pretty when seen from a church tower, but it becomes rather monotonous near to. Doesn't everything standstill? Don't the trees stand in the selfsame places where they stoodfifty years ago, and won't they be standing there fifty years hence? Myeyes are already weary of _this_ splendor! I want movement and noise, and if the people are like mosquitoes, it will be so much easier to keepthem at a distance than this company. [Beats about his head with hishat. ] LISA. You'll see, no doubt, you'll see! Experience will teach you betterthan my word. PEHR. And now, Lisa, what do people value most in a person? LISA. I'm ashamed to say it. PEHR. You must tell me! LISA. Gold. PEHR. Gold? But that is something outside the person which does notbelong to his being. LISA. Yes, that is known; but it is so nevertheless. PEHR. What extraordinary qualities does gold possess? LISA. All! It is good for everything--and nothing. It gives all thatearth has to offer; in itself it is the most perfect of all the earth'sproducts which rust cannot spot--but which can put rust-spots intosouls. PEHR. Well, then! Will you follow me, Lisa? LISA. I will always follow you--at a distance. PEHR. At a distance! and why not near me? Lisa, now I shall put my armaround your waist again. [Lisa tears herself away; bird sings. ] Why doyou run away? LISA. Ask the bird! PEHR. I can't understand what he says; you must tell me. LISA. [Embarrassed. ] No, I cannot! PEHR. Cannot? What is it? LISA. He is not singing for us now. He sings to his sweetheart, so youmust know what he is saying. PEHR. How should I know that! LISA. He says like this: [Running off] "I love you, I love you!" PEHR. Stay! Shall you run away from me? Lisa! Lisa! She's gone! Verywell then! Come hither palace and plates and wines and horses andchariots and gold--gold! SCENE TWO. A luxurious Banquet Hall. Servants bring on a table, with food andwines; other servants carry in a chest containing gold; others, again, atable covered with plates, vases, candle-sticks, etc. --all of gold. PEHR. [Walks about and looks around. ] So this is the rich man'sabode! Well, it looks rather promising. Slaves! Give me my bestholiday-coat--but it must be of gold. [Servants hand him a gold-clothcoat. ] A chair! [They place a gold chair at table. ] Now, Pehr, you shallenjoy life! and that is your right. Haven't you been up mornings atfour o'clock; and rung for early Mass; haven't you swept the church onFridays and scoured the stairs on Saturdays; haven't you eaten bread andherring three hundred and sixty-five days in the year and rinsed themdown with cold water; haven't you slept on pease-bolt which was so badlythreshed that you could feel the pease in your knee-joints? Oh, yes, youhave--therefore enjoy yourself! [Wants to sit at table. ] BUTLER. [With staff in hand. ] Pardon, Your Grace! The table is not laid. PEHR. Isn't it? BUTLER. In a couple of hours the roasts will be ready. PEHR. I don't want any roasts. BUTLER. [Intercepts Pehr with staff. ] It can never be that one sits downat an unlaid table! PEHR. Who forbids me in my own house? BUTLER. Etiquette, Your Grace, does not under any circumstances permitit. PEHR. Etiquette! What kind of torment is that? BUTLER. Your Grace, listen to an old man's word! He who in Your Grace'sposition violates the rules of etiquette is lost. PEHR. [Frightened. ] What a harsh gentleman! I shall have to submit, although I'm beastly hungry--But, wait! Is there nothing that will movethat gentleman? I have heard that gold--[Goes over to chest and takesout a handful of gold coins. ] Would not-- BUTLER. Your Grace! I stand above the servants; above me stands YourGrace, but above us all stands--Conventionality. Its laws are perpetual, for they have their foundation both in common sense and in what we callhistorical hypotheses. PEHR. And the historical hypotheses--cannot they be reached with gold? BUTLER. They are non-corruptible--in this instance! PEHR. What's the good of all my wealth if I cannot eat my fill when I'mhungry? I am worse off than the poorest bellringer. [Butler stations himself at the table, and stands like a statue. ] [Enter Tax Assessor and assistants, who walk about and take aninventory. ] PEHR. Look--here's a new torture! With what shall you gentlemen pesteran innocent victim? TAX ASSESSOR. Taxation, Your Grace. PEHR. Indeed! So it is you who regulate people's worth. How high is ahuman being estimated these days? TAX ASSESSOR. Two per hundred, Your Grace;--all depends on what one isgood for. PEHR. Tell me, can't I withdraw while the gentlemen figure up? for I amboth hungry and thirsty. TAX ASSESSOR. Impossible! It must be done in the owner's presence. PEHR. O Lord, what trials! But I may be allowed to sit down at least? TAX ASSESSOR. As you please! [To assistants. ] Two dozen plateswith beveled edges--write! Six wine-coolers, with handles of finermetal--write! One sugar bowl, with sifting spoon, and two smallerditto--write! Two dozen knives, with handles of mother-of-pearl--brandnew--write! PEHR. See if I don't go crazy! TAX ASSESSOR. Dining table of oak, with double leaves--write! Six walnutchairs. [Enter Lawyer. ] PEHR. One more! LAWYER. Your Grace is summoned to the City Court to have tax No. 2867legalized before twelve o'clock this day. PEHR. The Court? Litigation? I never institute proceedings, sir! LAWYER. It's not a question of litigation--only to verify facts. PEHR. I don't wish to verify facts. LAWYER. But to put the case-- PEHR. I don't want to put the case--I want my dinner! Butler, can'tI take a sandwich? [Butler raises staff threateningly; enter pettyconstable. ] PEHR. Are there still more? PETTY CONSTABLE. Your Grace is summoned to the Bar tomorrow at eleveno'clock for neglecting to keep the street clean. PEHR. Must I keep the street clean--I, who am such a rich man! What, then, must I not do? PETTY CONSTABLE. It is the duty of every householder to keep clean infront of his own house. PEHR. Etiquette, taxation, put the case, keep yard and street clean, hunger and thirst--is that the rich man's lot! Then I would rather bea street sweeper and own myself. And I'm not allowed to turn thesegentlemen out, who crowd into my room, and I cannot go my way when Ichoose! [Enter petitioner, followed by a servant carrying two baskets ofpapers. ] PEHR. Mr. Lawyer and Mr. Constable, can't the law protect an unfortunaterich man so that he may have peace in his home, or is the law only forthe poor? LAWYER. Your Grace can no longer be regarded as an individual; for whenone through riches has risen to the community's heights, one belongs tothe whole. PEHR. And so one is placed outside the law. LAWYER. [Smiles; glances about. ] Above the law, Your Grace! PEHR. Ha--! What does this last friend want! Are there any presents inthose baskets? PETITIONER. Your Honorable Grace is appointed Church Warden-- PEHR. [Interrupts. ] Called-- PETITIONER. Called to vote day after to-morrow. PEHR. Eleven o'clock-- PETITIONER. Eleven o'clock-to be present at the election of the newRector. But before that, Your Grace must take part in the preliminarieswhich are here inclosed, and which are for the purpose of showing theincompetence of the opposing candidate for the office. PEHR. Must I read through two baskets full of papers between now and dayafter to-morrow? No, no! PETITIONER. Perhaps Your Grace would like to give your vote to ourcandidate-- PEHR. Without having to read--is that permissible? Thank you, my goodfriend! Pen and ink! PETITIONER. [Hands Pehr pen, ink and paper for signature. ] Admirable! Ithank Your Grace. PEHR. [Embracing him. ] Ah, it is I that must thank you! BUTLER. [Raps on table three times with staff; servants enter withdishes. ] Dinner is served. [All go except Pehr and butler. ] PEHR. [Sits down at table. ] At last! [Soft music. ] See, now they go whenhe commands; but when I beg, it's useless! BUTLER. It is not my command they obey, Your Grace, but the rules ofetiquette. PEHR. And they transcend my will? BUTLER. Laws are the agreements of many, and must of course come beforethe individual's will. PEHR. I declare, he can answer all things! Now I shall enjoy myself atall events. Wine warms the heart, food warms the body--but where's thepleasure in loneliness? Mr. Butler, do the rules of etiquette permitthat one has company when one is enjoying oneself? BUTLER. I almost believe that something in that way is required. PEHR. Well, then, I want-- [First Friend enters and rushes into Pehr's arms. ] FIRST FRIEND. Friend of my heart! So I see thee again after such a longseparation! And you are like yourself--a little thinner than when I lastsaw you; but how's everything now, dear old chap? PEHR. [Eyeing him. ] Oh, thanks, thanks--very well indeed, as--ahem--yousee. Pray take a chair and sit down. FIRST FRIEND. Why, bless my soul! I've just had dinner, but I'll go intoyour ante-room and wait there while you finish yours. PEHR. No, that is just what you shall not do! I remarked a while agothat I thought life so empty when one must sit alone at table. Take achair and sit down. FIRST FRIEND. Dear old friend, if you insist I will sit beside you whileyou dine; but it actually looks as though I had come here for a meal. PEHR. What matter even if it were so. FIRST FRIEND. [Protests. ] Oh--! PEHR. Wait a bit--I'm not saying that it is so! FIRST FRIEND. [Seats himself. ] So now you are in clover, as they say. Itis pleasant to contemplate that fate can be so kindly, and it mustever rejoice a sensitive soul to see that some one is favored by ficklefortune. Not all--more's the pity!--can praise fickle fortune. PEHR. Indeed! Have you any grievances? FIRST FRIEND. I? PEHR. Yes--for I don't want to hear any hard-luck stories now, when I'meating. Won't you be good enough to favor me by trying a hazel-grouse? FIRST FRIEND. If you speak of favors, my friend! PEHR. Then you mustn't say "my friend"; you must call me by name. FIRST FRIEND. Christopher! You ask a service of poor me--can I thendeny you! [He begins to eat, his appetite increases during followingrepartee. Pehr regards him with open-eyed wonder. ] PEHR. One should never deny another anything? FIRST FRIEND. Well said! One should never deny oneself anything--oneanother, I mean. [Enter Second Friend. ] SECOND FRIEND. [Walking straight up to the table. ] Good day, Goran! Doyou remember me? [Pehr Stares at him. ] No you don't, but I remember you. You see, I never forget my old friends! In the hour of need I look themup. Here you sit and eat and I have nothing to eat, therefore I sayright out: Boy, here am I! [Seats himself at table. ] FIRST FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] Who is that tramp? He eats as though he had notseen food from Christmas to Easter! PEHR. Oh, he's a friend of mine. SECOND FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] Who is that beggar? He stuffs himself like a. Wolf in the springtime! PEHR. Oh, he is a good friend of mine. FIRST FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] Beware false friends, Pehr! SECOND FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] Beware false friends, Pehr! PEHR. Yes, yes! FIRST FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] You'll see, he is going to borrow money fromyou. SECOND FRIEND. [To Pehr. ] If he asks for a loan from you, you must sayno--for he never pays. PEHR. You don't say so! Well, good friends, don't you think this anexcellent repast? SECOND FRIEND. I never flatter! FIRST FRIEND. No, my friend, you only stuff yourself! I never flatter, either, but I cannot therefore mask the truth and must acknowledge thatanything of this sort I have never before had a share in, and it hasto be Christopher that offers such a treat! Your health, brotherChristopher! PEHR. [Aghast. ] Christopher? SECOND FRIEND. I'm a plain, everyday sort of man, and cannot make prettyspeeches--which I scorn, and the expression of which from such a sourceI can ascribe only to a secret desire to get money. That is my plain, everyday opinion. FIRST FRIEND. What insolence! PEHR. I must beg that no serious discussions interrupt this delightfulgathering, which would be even more agreeable if it were sweetened bysome charming representative of the opposite sex. [A Woman appears. ] PEHR. Behold! WOMAN. So you couldn't wait for me! That was most impolite, but Iforgive you since you are my friend. There's my hand! PEHR. [Kisses her hand. ] I beg a thousand pardons, my beauty, but I musthave been mistaken as to the day? Meanwhile, be seated. Will my friendsmake room at my side? [Friends crowd nearer to him. ] No? Well, he who isthe younger must do so. That perhaps you do not know? Then he who is mybest friend will voluntarily give up his place, for he is always just asnear to my heart anyhow. [Both friends give up their places. ] I see thatyou are both my best friends. WOMAN. And I your best friend among women. Am I not, Alonzo? PEHR. Quite right. And now as I raise the bumper, I want to drain it toFriendship! Friendship is like gold, for it is pure. WOMAN. [To friends. ] How prettily he speaks! PEHR. Friendship is like the moon-- THREE FRIENDS. Bravo! Bravo! PEHR. For it borrows its gold--[Three Friends exchange glances]--fromthe sun. And it darkens when the sun departs; true, is it not? ALL THREE FRIENDS. [Sullenly. ] Very well said! PEHR. But friendship is a fire; it must be fed if it is to be keptburning. You have given me your friendship, what have I to give you?[Three friends glance around. ] You look on my gold. Alack, it is butdust as compared with your friendship! WOMAN. [Adroitly. ] One must not despise the temporal because the eternalexists. FRIENDS. Admirably expressed! PEHR. Very well, I wish to reward your faith. See--all this gold I giveyou! ALL THREE FRIENDS. Ah! [They upset the table. ] PEHR. But remember, I have told you that gold is nothing but dross. [Puts hand to mouth and paces back and forth. ] O my God! I believe I'mdying! WOMAN. What's wrong with you, Alonzo? PEHR. I've got the toothache--oh, my teeth! You see that the rich man, also, is exposed to the annoyances of life. [Friends, with gold pieces, move toward doors. ] PEHR. No, don't leave me alone in my misery--now, when I most need yourcompany! FIRST FRIEND. Oh, a little toothache is not dangerous; it will soonpass! SECOND FRIEND. Take some cold water in your mouth, then you'll be allright. WOMAN. Oh, the men! They are so sensitive to a little pain. You shouldsee a woman suffer! PEHR. Ah, don't forsake me! I suffer so terribly! FIRST FRIEND. I shall never forsake you! [Hand on door. ] I'll run forthe dentist. PEHR. No, stay! SECOND FRIEND. [Near door. ] No; as George's oldest friend it devolvesupon me to-- PEHR. You want to run away from me! Oh, I curse this gold! I curse you, false friends! [Gold pieces in their hands turn black. ] ALL THREE FRIENDS. He has deceived us--look, look! [All three arestricken with toothache and begin to moan. ] Oh! Oh! PEHR. [Recovered. ] Oh, it's only a little toothache; it will soonpass. --Take cold water in your mouth, old friend, and then it willdisappear. [Woman faints. ] Surely a woman will not faint for such alittle pain! [Friends rush out. ] Now run to the dentist and let him drawall your teeth, foxes! After that you'll not bite any more sheep. WOMAN. [Coming to. ] Alfred! all have forsaken you; but I shall remainwith you. PEHR. Yes, but why should you? I'm as poor as the poorest; soon thetax collector will be coming around for the taxes, and he'll seizeeverything. WOMAN. [Snuggles up to him. ] Then I want to be at your side to supportyou--[seizes his hand and steals ring during following speeches] andextend to you the hand-- PEHR. [Duped. ] You! Can this be true? WOMAN. True? Look at me! PEHR. Ah, I have been told that woman is more faithless than man-- WOMAN. She is wiser than man [puts ring on], therefore she is calledfaithless. Oh, let me sit, I'm so unstrung! [Pehr leads her to a chairby the wall. ] PEHR. Compose yourself, my friend; I have only frightened you. WOMAN. Give me a glass of wine; I feel so faint after all thiscommotion. [Pehr goes over to table; wall back of the chair opens and womanand chair disappear. Only the hand with ring is seen as she is heardspeaking. ] Ha, ha--schoolboy! Learn from this not to trust a woman whom you havetricked! [Alone, Pehr runs to window and looks out, as he draws back his head, hehas the ears of an ass. ] PEHR. Curses on gold, friendship and women! Now I stand alone--poor, deserted--with a pair of long ears and without my magic ring! Had Iknown that life was so utterly ignoble, I should have stayed at homewith the witch. Where shall I turn to now--without friends, withoutmoney, without house and home? Trouble awaits me at the door. Must Inow, in all seriousness, go out in the world and work for the attainmentof my every wish? If only I were not so alone! Yet, why not as well bealone, since there is no such thing as friendship, and everything is sofalse and empty? Damnation! [Enter Lisa. ] LISA. Don't curse, Pehr! PEHR. Lisa! You do not forsake me, although I forgot you in myprosperous days. LISA. It is in our need that we find our friends. PEHR. Friends? A curse on friendship! LISA. Don't, Pehr! There are real friendships in life as well as falsefriends. PEHR. I have now tried the good things of life, and I found onlyemptiness and vanity! LISA. You have tried in your way--meantime you have made the firstplunge of youth, and now you shall be a man! You have looked forhappiness in the wrong direction. Don't you want to go out and do good, enlighten your fellow-men, and be useful? For your clear vision canpenetrate the perversion and crookedness which one finds in life. PEHR. And be a great man! LISA. Great or obscure, it is all one. You shall be useful--you shall bea reformer who leads humanity onward and upward. PEHR. Yes, a reformer who will be honored and idolized by the people, and whose name will be on everyone's lips. LISA. Oh, how far you are from the truth, Pehr! You seek greatnessonly for personal honor; you shall have it and you shall have a newexperience. PEHR. But how? My ring is gone! LISA. The qualities inherent in that ring are such that it can never beaway from its owner. PEHR. [Looks at his hand. ] Ah! See, there it is! Well, then, I want tobe a great man--a reformer; but you, Lisa, must follow me. LISA. Not yet. But I will follow thee at a distance, and when thoudost meet with sorrow and need and the sun of happiness is for theeo'erclouded, then I will be near thee with my weak support. Go thou outinto life, see what wrongs are done there; but when 'midst filth andmire thou hast seen how even the flower of beauty thrives, then think onthis: Life is made up of both good and bad. CURTAIN ACT THREE SCENE: A public square. To right, Courthouse arcade, above which thereis a speakers' cage with places for Burgomaster and Councilmen; to leftshoemaker's house, with shop window and sign; outside a bench and table, close to them a hen-coop and water-tub. In the centre of the squarestands a pillory, with two neck-irons on chains, above it a bronzefigure with a switch in its hand; to right centre, statue o fBurgomaster Hans Schulze, which leans toward a marble female statuecrowned with a laurel wreath. Background: view of city. [Pillory and Statue. ] PILLORY. [Bows low to statue. ] Good morning, Statue. Did you sleep welllast night? STATUE. [Nods. ] Good morning, Pillory. Did you sleep well yourself? PILLORY. To be sure I did--and dreamed also! Can you guess what Idreamed? STATUE. [Crustily. ] How should that be possible? PILLORY. Well, I dreamt--can you imagine it?--that a reformer came tothe city. STATUE. What--a reformer? [Stamps. ] Hell! how cold your feet getstanding here; but what does one not do for glory's sake! A reformer?Then he, too, is to have a statue? PILLORY. A statue--well, hardly! No, he had to play statue himself, atmy feet, while I clasped him around the neck with both arms. [Neck-ironsclash. ] You see, he was a real reformer, and not a charlatan, such asyou were in life! STATUE. Oh, bosh! You should be put to shame! PILLORY. I should--but I always have justice on my side. [Swingsswitch. ] STATUE. What, then, was his specialty? PILLORY. He was a reformer in street paving. STATUE. In street paving? Pestilence and cowardice! He dabbles, then, inmy profession. [Bumps into female statue. ] PILLORY. No; he does intelligently what you dabbled in, and youwouldn't be standing where you are had you not been the burgomaster'sfather-in-law! STATUE. Was not I the one who carried out the new idea of stone-pavedstreets? PILLORY. Yes, that you did; but the idea was not new. And what did youdo? In place of the soft sand in which one formerly placed one's feet, one must now balance oneself on jagged and rolly stones, which destroyboth feet and shoes--save on the street which leads from your house tothe tavern, where you let lay a footbridge of flat stones. STATUE. And now this reformer--or charlatan--wants to undo what I did? PILLORY. He wants to tear up what you laid down and pave all the streetswith "burgomaster" stones, so that all may be equally comfortable. STATUE. So he's a rabid radical! PILLORY. Yes, that's it, and he has no party politics back of him. Youhad the wagonmaker, the shoemaker, the chiropodist and the burgomasterwith you, therefore you succeeded. STATUE. He'd better be careful! Every stone which he removes from mywork the people will hurl at him, and woe be unto him if he touches mymemory! PILLORY. Let us hope that he unmasks you, you old fraud! Do you recallhow you happened to become one of the great ones after your death?First, at the funeral, the parson embroidered your virtues--for twentymarks; the contractor, who had grown rich on your streets, delivered aeulogy; the chiropodist, who acquired practice through your beautifulstreet stones, had a medallion struck of you; then the wagonmaker, whomade money patching up wagons, named a vehicle after you; and last, theshoemaker held a memorial fest in your honor. Then it was done! Yourson-in-law, the burgomaster, sent out a subscription blank for a statueno one dared refuse, and now you stand there. STATUE. Yes, I do, and it grieves you. To-day the Schulze Societywill come with wreaths and will sing the memorial song ordered by myson-in-law. I daresay having to stand and listen to it will make youwrithe. PILLORY. I can't dispute that, but in the end we shall see if I'm not atrue dreamer! STATUE. Hold your tongue! for here comes the Society. PILLORY. I shall have to hold my sides for laughter--three personsconstitute the whole Society! Last year they were six. You're a backnumber, Schulze. Soon you'll see that they will move you into theox-grove! STATUE. A people who reverence their great men and cherish past eventscan never sink so low as to consign their statues to the ox-grove. [Shoemaker comes out from his house and opens shop window. ] SHOEMAKER. I believe there has been rain in the night, brother Schulzelooks so shiny. If it will only be fair weather when the singing societymakes its appearance! [Shouts back into the house. ] Hans! HANS. [At window. ] Yes, master. SHOEMAKER. Sit here by the window with your work, I'm going out tofulfil a civic duty. HANS. Yes, master. SHOEMAKER. If you don't watch out, I'll let the strap do a dance on yourback! Do you hear that, knave? HANS. Yes, master. [Enter Wagonmaker, with a banner. ] WAGONMAKER. 'Morning, Shoemaker. SHOEMAKER. Good morning. [Enter Chiropodist, with a laurel wreath. ] CHIROPODIST. Good morning, good morning. Shall we wait for theburgomaster? I think we'd better hurry along, it's preparing for morerain. SHOEMAKER. That's just what I said to myself this morning, therefore Iwas wise and brought my raincoat. WAGONMAKER. The people should now assemble here and form a procession, but I don't see a cat! Shoemaker, didn't you tell the printer that wewere to celebrate the Memorial Festival to-day? SHOEMAKER. Why certainly, certainly! WAGONMAKER. Will the gentlemen please form a semi-circle around theobject's pedestal--so! CHIROPODIST. We might begin with the cantata--then perhaps the peoplewill come. WAGONMAKER. I can't understand why the burgomaster isn't here? He alwaystreated us to brandy other years. SHOEMAKER. If you start the song he'll wake up, if he has overslepthimself. Tune up, gentlemen--do, mi, sol, do! WAGONMAKER. Then, I'll begin--but watch out for the trio so as to makeit a regular ear-splitting ensemble! [Solo Recitative. ] Hail to thee, Burgomaster! Hail to thee, benefactor! Life burns our deeds within its envious fire, But mem'ry, like a phoenix from the pyre, Rises on stalwart wing to waft them higher. SHOEMAKER. Well whistled, Wagonmaker! Any signs of the grog yet? WAGONMAKER. Go on, Shoemaker! Now comes the aria; it must be renderedwith feeling. Then you shall see that the burgomaster will wake up! SHOEMAKER. [Sings aria. ] ARIA. The breath of the rose and carnation-bud's fragrance, 'mongst wonder-flowers' fated! As false at heart As glitter-wave, She held toward him her billowy hair, Where all the ocean's freshness breathes. And lily so red and lily so white Confidingly muse on death and life. CHIROPODIST. That was a rare strophe! But it doesn't seem to have anyspecial bearing upon the subject and our present conditions. Where didyou get it? SHOEMAKER. Well, you see, I have an apprentice at home who is one ofyour idealists; he does things of this sort when he's free, on Sundays. WAGONMAKER. If I may venture an opinion, I think it inconceivablydifficult to get at the pith of the strophe. SHOEMAKER. That's just the fine point, you see! But hush--methinks wehave the rain here. [Puts on coat. ] WAGONMAKER. Do the gentlemen think it worth while to stand here in therain and get soaked on that old duffer's account? SHOEMAKER. But we are paid to support the song and we must at leastdo the trio before we go; for when we all pitch in together the objectitself won't be able to sleep! The oration, on the other hand, can begiven at any time; besides, there is too small a public for so big aspeech. We'll take the trio--do, mi, sol, do. It is not as ideal as thearia, but it evinces greater familiarity with the specific conditions. [Rain patters, wind increases. ] CHIROPODIST. Damned if I stand here any longer and catch cold for thatold charlatan! Remuneration? Six marks each! One can do without that. WAGONMAKER. I think so, too. SHOEMAKER. Were you not in on the subscription for the statue, perhaps?Were you not there and helped, with a medallion, to turn him into agreat man? WAGONMAKER. Well, we had to, didn't we? otherwise they would have downedus. SHOEMAKER. True--but it is ungrateful not to respect his memory. I shallsing the trio alone. CHIROPODIST. Oh, you can do it--you, with your sou'wester! I'm goinghome to breakfast. [Flings wreath on pedestal, dashes hood of cloak overhead and runs off. ] WAGONMAKER. This is the last time I'm going to lend myself to suchtomfoolery! Good-bye! SHOEMAKER. [Alone. ] And now I'm going to the burgomaster's for a brandy. But first, I must deliver my speech to the old man on the pedestal;then my conscience will be easier. [Talks to statue. ] You think, youold Schulze, it is for your sake that we sing, for your sake that wespeechify; can't you comprehend that we do so for our own sakes? We needa big man to push forward when we turn out to be too little ourselves. We need your word to quote, since no one credits ours. Our little townneeded your statue in order to become a great city; your insignificantrelatives needed your statue to help them get on and find occupation inthis troublesome world--and therefore, mark you, you stand so highabove us all--a figure for naught but ciphers! Now you have heard atrue remark, you poor wretch! the first and the last you'll hear, perhaps--[Alarmed. ] Surely no one has been listening to what I said? Ah!here comes the great man's relative. [Enter Relative. ] RELATIVE. Good morning, Shoemaker. Have you heard--have you heard of thescurrilous attack? SHOEMAKER. What now? What's up, Herr Relative? RELATIVE. A reformer has come to the city; haven't you read hisbroad-sheet? SHOEMAKER. No, no! RELATIVE. Oh, it is unprecedented--read for yourself! SHOEMAKER. I'm too agitated to read; you read it. RELATIVE. Then listen to what the scoundrel writes: "A quarter of acentury has hardly elapsed since Burgomaster Schulze gladdened thiscommunity with weighty improvements as regards its street paving, bygiving us in place of the old sand-ground rough cobble stones. " Do youhear! Do you hear! SHOEMAKER. Yes, I hear. But that was not very alarming. RELATIVE. Not alarming! Doesn't he call him Burgomaster Schulze? Onedoes not say burgomaster of a dead man--one says Our Illustrious--Doesnot the wretch write about rough cobble stones? Does he not attempt withthat to undermine _his_ worth? SHOEMAKER. But one cannot call it an attack, if he says that cobblestones are rough when they are rough. RELATIVE. Of course they are rough, but one must not say that they arewhen a great man is responsible for them. Have a care, Master Shoemaker!I see that you are a sceptic. Have a care--you know the consequences! SHOEMAKER. For God's sake, I'm no sceptic! Haven't I been standing herechanting odes to brother Schulze? RELATIVE. Brother! If you were a brother to him in life, please rememberthat all titles are annulled by death. Will you admit that this is anattack? SHOEMAKER. Of course I will--Have I said anything to the contrary? Canyou prove that I said anything to the contrary? RELATIVE. No; but be careful! We hold Common Council here on the squareat nine o'clock, when that reformer will speak for his cause. Do youknow what he wants? SHOEMAKER. No. RELATIVE. Can you imagine it! He wants to repave all our streets withflagstones. SHOEMAKER. But that's rather considerate of him. RELATIVE. [Laughs ironically. ] Considerate? Oh, very! How will itgo, for example just to mention your calling--how will it go with theprecious shoemaking trade when the people no longer wear out any shoes? SHOEMAKER. What--what say you? Forgive me, my friend, but you are right. However, I'm not thinking of my humble calling, but of all the poorinnocent working men who will be robbed of their bread--and of theirpoor wives and children! HANS. [At window, makes faces. ] Poor unfortunate workingmen! RELATIVE. You see, you see! [Pointing to statue. ] He was the friend ofthe poor, and he was a man that knew what he did! SHOEMAKER. You may depend upon it that both the wagonmaker and thechiropodist will share my opinion. RELATIVE. Am I quite sure of that? SHOEMAKER. In life and in death! RELATIVE. Happy the people who respect their great men! [Runs. ] [Enter populace. Relative is talking with the wagonmaker and thechiropodist. ] [The Courthouse clock strikes nine; two trumpeters and adrummer come on and sound a call. When the music has ceased Pehr enters, and is joined by Street-Paver. ] PEHR. Good morning, master. How do you think this matter will go for me? STREET-PAVER. Badly, very badly! PEHR. Don't the people want improvements, then? STREET-PAVER. There's no question as to that--it's a question of thegreat man's reputation, which you have attacked. PEHR. Have I attacked him? [Rain has ceased. ] STREET-PAVER. You called him _burgomaster_, and that title has becomea by-word in the town; you said that his paving stones were rough--ina word, you have expressed the common opinion of the man, therefore youare ruined. PEHR. It's a very remarkable world that we live in! STREET-PAVER. It's rather see-saw, and has its little eccentricities, but do not try to help it, sir, for then it will send you straight totophet! PEHR. The people are dissatisfied and when one wants to dig up the causeof their dissatisfaction, they throw stones at one! [A boy thrusts aleaflet into their hands, hurries along and distributes more among thepopulace. ] PEHR. [Glances at leaflet. ] But this is outrageous! They have sketchedus. Have I a nose like that? STREET-PAVER. They have hit us off rather well--but surely I haven'tsuch ears! PEHR. I can't understand this--Yesterday the editor was for the causeand to-day he abuses me. STREET-PAVER. Public opinion, you see! He said to me, also, that heapproved of this movement, but that he stared not defy public opinion. PEHR. A curious way of working for his cause! Who, then, is publicopinion for him? STREET-PAVER. First, the customers; then the burgomaster, money, andpower. PEHR. Then why did he caricature you? STREET-PAVER. Because I entered into your proposition. As a matterof course, I did it because I could make money by it. Meantime, heis selling hundreds of these poems to-day--[Trumpets and drum sound;Burgomaster, Councilmen and Clerks come out into speakers' cage. ] BURGOMASTER. Well, my children, you must have heard that an impostor hascome to town. ONE OF THE PEOPLE. He's no impostor; he is a reformer. BURGOMASTER. It comes to the same thing--but you must hold your tongue, my lad, you have no vote! PEHR. Herr Burgomaster, I would beg that my proposition be presented ina proper manner before this honored popular assembly-- BURGOMASTER. Just listen to him! We know his proposition and it simplyremains for us to express ourselves. Well and good, I consign it to themadhouse! It is the man's wish--think of it, my children! that all maybe permitted to tread upon smooth pavements. So long as Our Lord createsdifferent kinds of human beings, there must be different kinds of stoneson our streets. Is there anybody who would add further remarks? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That isn't true! Our Lord does not create differentkinds of human beings. BURGOMASTER. Who gave you permission to shriek? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Since we have no voice in things, we may at least beallowed to shriek! BURGOMASTER. Yes, shriek, and I'll put you in the lockup! There is noone, of course, who has something to add? RELATIVE. Herr Burgomaster, as a man of honor, may I not be permitted toenter a protest against the scandalous attack that has been made? PEHR. I challenge the relative! BURGOMASTER. And I, on the other hand, attach more weight to theRelative's utterance since he is allied to a great man; that is alwaysthe community's best guarantee-- ROOSTER. [From hen-coop outside the shoemaker's. ] Cockelicoo! BURGOMASTER. What's that devilish racket? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That's one who is blessed with a voice! ROOSTER. Cockelicoo! ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Arrest him! [Laughter and groans. ] BURGOMASTER. Quiet, back there! Secondly: Said adventurer has spokenoutrageously of the administration in that he has made defamatoryspeeches against the city's departed burgomaster. We would hear a fewimpartial citizens--Master Shoemaker, what, in your opinion, does hemerit? SHOEMAKER. I vote with the administration. BURGOMASTER. Quite right; he should be held in contempt. What say you, Master Chiropodist? CHIROPODIST. I concur. BURGOMASTER. And the wagonmaker? WAGONMAKER. I have the honor to agree with the last speaker. ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Those who have the right to speak are silent. BURGOMASTER. Silence, back there! On the ground of what has already beenadvanced, with the support of conclusive evidence, the adventurer namedPehr [no family name] is hereby sentenced for vicious utterances againstthe administration to stand in the pillory two hours, later to beexpelled from the city, to his everlasting disgrace and as a warning toothers. PEHR. Herr Burgomaster, the proofs are lacking. BURGOMASTER. We require none. Axiom, or self-evident points, neither cannor need be proved. Away with him! [Pehr is led off. ] BURGOMASTER. Thirdly: In consideration of the vexatious as well asunforeseen incident that the city's dogs give unseemly expressionto their inward feelings for the hideous around the pedestal of HansSchulze's statue, an appropriation is demanded for an iron railingaround the same. Surely no one will refuse a deserving man such triflingact of respect? QUALIFIED VOTERS. No! ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That is the first time we've heard the voters say no! BURGOMASTER. Officer, put him in the lockup! The question has beenanswered, then, in the affirmative. QUALIFIED VOTERS. Yes. ONE OF THE PEOPLE. [Makes noise like a sheep. ] B-a-a-a! [An instant oflaughter and commotion. ] BURGOMASTER. The Common Council is adjourned. [Trumpets and drum sound, after which silence on stage. ] RELATIVE. [To Shoemaker. ] He's an uncommonly firm expeditor, thatburgomaster. SHOEMAKER. He ought to be in the Legislature--then it would go a littlefaster with the common motions. [Burgomaster, Councilmen and Secretary go into Courthouse. Peoplecontinue to circulate on square; Street-paver keeps aloof. ] SHOEMAKER. [To Chiropodist, Wagonmaker and Relative. ] Gentlemen, won'tyou sit down and drink a glass of ale with me? CHIROPODIST, WAGONMAKER, RELATIVE. Thank you! SHOEMAKER. [At door, gives order; Hans brings on ale. ] Well, HerrRelative, you did not choose to be present this morning at the memorialfest for your illustrious kinsman? RELATIVE. Where was the need of my going out in the rain? You were therewith the Society. SHOEMAKER. The whole Society! There were three of us. RELATIVE. Did you sing? CHIROPODIST. Yes, a little. RELATIVE. [Laughing. ] Were there many people? WAGONMAKER. Not a soul! RELATIVE. And the burgomaster-- SHOEMAKER. Overslept himself. RELATIVE. [Laughing. ] Have you seen the _Morning Crow_? ALL. No. RELATIVE. [Takes up a pamphlet. ] Would you like to hear, then--"_Tribute_. The customary tribute paid by the Schulze Society tothe memory of our worthy citizen, whom we commemorate in bronze on thecity's public square, took place this morning in presence of a greatcrowd of people that greeted the memorial songs, sung in honor of theillustrious departed, with hearty applause. The songs were renderedby the great chorus with the usual precision and good ensemble. Theoration, which had been prepared with the utmost care, was delivered inclear, resonant tones by the worthy shoemaker, Pumpen-Block. Among thenotables present we observed the city's burgomaster, the kinsman of thedeparted, and others. " [All laugh. ] RELATIVE. Isn't that rich? ALL. Oh, it's priceless!--You wrote that. RELATIVE. By the by, have you seen the cartoon of the reformer and thestreet-paver? It's capital! SHOEMAKER. But it was a bit extravagant to caricature them in that way! RELATIVE. Oh, no sensible person has anything against the proposition;but that it should fall into such hands--Hush, here he comes! [Pehr is led on by guards, who place him in the pillory and adjustneck-irons. The populace nudge each other and point at him. Shoemaker'scompany slightly embarrassed. Enter a lyre player and an old blindwoman, with a painted canvas on a pole. Old woman sings and points atcanvas, which is painted in six panels--one for each stanza. ] OLD WOMAN. There was a guileless youth Who heard the people's wail; Lawgivers sat in the square And gaily quaffed their ale. The youth to the people said: "I would make your pathway fair!" "There's trouble, " the rulers cried, "Sedition breeds in the air. " Still they sat in the square, And still they quaffed their ale; They talked of the people's good, But heard not the people's wail. The youth in the pillory stood, For there he'd been given his place; In the wag'nmaker's hen-coop the cock crew As of yore in Caiphas' palace. The great respect the law, Their own renown they buy With statues and tombs and gold To praise them when they die. The people pass under the yoke, They wail through the vigils of night, And wait till the cock shall crow To herald an era of light. [Shoemaker's company make wry faces and pretend not to be listening; thepeople are interested and drop pennies into the old woman's bank. Thewomen are moved to tears and wipe their eyes now and then. ] RELATIVE. [To shoemaker. ] Have you many orders now-a-days? SHOEMAKER. Oh, so-so-- OLD WOMAN. Give the old blind woman a coin? CHIROPODIST. Begging is prohibited, don't you know that? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She's not begging; she asks remuneration. SHOEMAKER. What kind of rot is he talking? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. The Schulze Society is paid to sing for the statueyonder, but the men pocket the coins and stay away. This morning onlythree were there. SHOEMAKER. [To his guests. ] Think, they know all that goes on, thevillains! OLD WOMAN. Give the blind old woman a coin! RELATIVE. One must pay, to boot, for her croaking? ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She sings better than the shoemaker sang thismorning, when we stood round the corner listening to him. He certainlydoes not sing ideally about carnations and roses, but a true word spokenat the right moment is also ideal! RELATIVE. If you don't go, old hag, you'll be locked up! [Thunder and lightning, wind, rain, commotion. ] SHOEMAKER. Egad! it's raining again. Step inside, gentlemen. [They breakup. ] OLD WOMAN. Must that poor wretch in the pillory stand out in the rain? RELATIVE. If my kinsman, who is so great a personage, can stand outside, then that fellow may as well stay where he is. SHOEMAKER. It cools these reformers off so nicely to get a little coldwater over them. [Trips, stubs toe against a stone. ] The damnedcobble stones! [Hops into house on one leg. Exit all but Pehr and OldWoman--Lisa. ] LISA. [Throws off disguise. ] Well, Pehr! You have become a famous man;your name is now on every one's lips, your picture is being carriedround on all streets and public squares and the people hail you as areformer. Are you satisfied? PEHR. Yes, Lisa, now I am satisfied with being a reformer! LISA. Shall you leave your work half-done? PEHR. Yes, Lord save us! If only I can escape with my skin. LISA. You sought glory and renown-- PEHR. But all do that! LISA. Not all. But you had the approval of the people. PEHR. The people! They have nothing to say. LISA. So it was the approval of the great that you wanted. Then standthere and be ashamed! You did not even believe in the cause for whichyou stood. PEHR. Frankly, I think it a matter of slight consequence whether onewalks upon smooth or rough stones. LISA. When one walks in calfskin boots--yes; but not when one goesbarefooted! PEHR. Moreover, the community isn't worth a straw; the whole thing isonly a sham! _The common good, the common good_--one never talks ofanything else. What, then, is the common good? It strikes me as being anagreement between a few private individuals. LISA. It should be everyone's good, but it isn't. Make it so, and itwill be so. PEHR. I want to--oh, I want to do it, but I haven't the power! LISA. Then get it, Pehr, and let's see if I have made a mistake. PEHR. [Breaks irons and comes down stage. ] You shall see, Lisa, that Iwill do something big when I have the power. LISA. Why something big? Something good would be better. PEHR. But you must always be by my side, Lisa. What was it that the birdin the wood sang? LISA. That I will tell you next time. PEHR. No, now! LISA. He said: "I love you!" PEHR. Won't you love me, Lisa? LISA. Yes, when you love me. PEHR. But I do! LISA. No, you do not; so far you love only yourself. Out again, Pehr, and learn something! There are not many wishes left to you; the greatestbut most dangerous one is ahead of you--Power! That is the highest thinga frail mortal can attain. But woe to him who misuses it! He is theworld's greatest criminal, for he makes a caricature of Our BlessedLord! Farewell, King! thy crown awaits thee! [Disappears. ] PEHR. Oh, my queen! CURTAIN. ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. Interior of a palace in Oriental style. To right a throne, before it atable, with royal regalia; to left a divan, pillows arranged on floor ina semi-circle. At rise of curtain The Ameer discovered lying on floor writing on apaper scroll. [Enter Chamberlain of the Caliph. ] CHAMBERLAIN. Is that the young Caliph's genealogical chart? AMEER. Yes, Chamberlain. CHAMBERLAIN. It certainly looks very imposing. Whom leave you given himas progenitor? AMEER. Caliph Omar, of course. CHAMBERLAIN. I think that Haroun-al-Raschid would have been better. AMEER. He was certainly more popular--but in that case our gracioussovereign would not be related to the ancient house. CHAMBERLAIN. Very true. Will you be ready soon? We expect him at anymoment. AMEER. Has your Excellency seen the new caliph? CHAMBERLAIN. Yes; he looks like all the rest--It is only thegenealogical tree that separates him from us. AMEER. Yes, the genealogical tree! CHAMBERLAIN. [Examines ancestral chart again. ] You have got an awfulwidth to it! AMEER. I had to put in a bastard line; it looks so flourishing onpaper, and gives to the race a semblance of strength, which is alwaysflattering. CHAMBERLAIN. [Laughs. ] What will the Caliph Omar say to this? [Enter Court Mullah. ] MULLAH. Allah akbar barai! How dost? CHAMBERLAIN. Allah! Eloim! I thank you, excellently. MULLAH. Is the Renunciation Act made out in duplicate form? CHAMBERLAIN. In duplicate form. Will you be good enough to compare, thenhe will only have to add his signature. MULLAH. If there's time enough, it would be the better way. [Chamberlain takes two papers from table and hands one to the Mullah. ] CHAMBERLAIN. [Reads aloud. ] "We, Omar the twenty-seventh, do herebysolemnly forswear our--the Roman Catholic--faith, and adopt theMohammedan doctrine as it is determined in the Koran and the sacredwritings. " Dated, etc. OMAR. Correct? MULLAH. Correct. [Enter Pehr--Grand Vizier and Royal Historian having entered just beforehim. Ameer jumps up from the floor with the genealogical chart; RoyalHistorian stands quietly and jots down in a book what he hears. ] VIZIER. Will it please Your Highness to scan this ancestral chart, whichour--and the Kingdom's Ameer has made of Your Highness' illustrious oldfamily tree. PEHR. My ancestral chart? I have never known of any relative but myfather, the old sexton. VIZIER. [Pretends not to hear. ] It begins with a great and gloriousname--Caliph Omar-- PEHR. Caliph Omar! What kind of fish is that? VIZIER. [Sternly. ] That is no fish. He was a great and honorable ruler. PEHR. Be that as it may, but I was born in wedlock and not between satinsheets, good gentlemen! VIZIER. It does not become a ruler to be selfish; he must in allparticulars sacrifice his personal interests and tastes for the welfareof the people. PEHR. Very good; but does the welfare of the people demand that I shallbe illegitimate? VIZIER. Yes. PEHR. Then hand me the paper! [Ameer delivers ancestral chart and apen. ] It begins with a lie, and will probably end with theft. [Signs. ] VIZIER. There remains a slight formality--Will it please Your Highnessto sign this paper also. [Mullah presents Renunciation Act. ] PEHR. What now? VIZIER. Your Highness need not trouble himself to road; it is only amatter of form. PEHR. Renounce my forefathers' Faith--But that outrageous! VIZIER. Political considerations--the people's welfare-- PEHR. I must become a Mohammedan and may not drink a glass of wine? VIZIER. There are substitutes in all politics. PEHR. What are they? VIZIER. Compromises, modifications-- PEHR. Circumventions, eh? VIZIER. Will it please Your Highness to sign? PEHR. But I shall despise myself if I begin with a low action, and allthe more will the people have the right to despise me! VIZIER. The people demand that the ruler sacrifice all personalconsiderations for their welfare. PEHR. Their welfare, then, is to be built upon a lie and a crime? VIZIER. [Goes toward window. ] Your Highness, the people await theirchief. They are always ready to offer their sweat and blood for theruler, therefore they demand, also, that the ruler make his sacrifices. PEHR. Is what you say true? Well, then, give it me! [Acceptspaper--hesitates. ] The belfry, the chimes, the singing, the lights, Christmas--all pass before mine eyes! No more Christmas Eve! Life is sopitiless; it only demands, but never gives anything! VIZIER. Your Highness, the people are clamoring! They would see theirchief in the attire of the old caliphs--the crown and sceptre await tobe borne anew by a branch of the old ancestral tree. PEHR. [Catches sight of crown and sceptre. ] Ah! Vizier, who can commandme to forswear my faith? VIZIER. The laws. PEHR. Who made the laws? VIZIER. Our forefathers. PEHR. They were weak mortals, like ourselves. Well and good, I'll makeover all the laws! VIZIER. The Caliph does not reconstruct laws, for our form ofadministration has not given him law-making rights. PEHR. What is the form of administration in this land? VIZIER. Constitutional Despotism. PEHR. Answer! Am I Caliph, or not? VIZIER. You will be as soon as you have affixed your signature. PEHR. Then hand me the paper! [Signs. Enter Viziers, Court Attendants, etc. Crowning Ceremony. ] PEOPLE. [Without. ] Long live Omar the twenty-seventh! Allah, Allah, Allah! VIZIER. Will it please Your Royal Highness to ascend the throne andbegin the reign? PEHR. That will be quite diverting. Admit the people! VIZIER. The people? The people have nothing to do with the Government! PEHR. But surely I shall have someone to rule over? VIZIER. That is done in writing. [Takes out a few documents. ] PEHR. Proceed! VIZIER. In order to spare Your Royal Highness the weighty burdens ofgovernment on this, the first day of his reign, we have tabled allpetitions but one, which can very easily be disposed of. PEHR. That was stupid, but it can't be helped now. Let's hear it! VIZIER. Aschmed Sheik, with face in the dust and with his heart'sprayers, begs that he may go over to the Sunnees' faith. PEHR. What is the Sunnees' faith? VIZIER. It is a sect, a dangerous sect. PEHR. In what particular does it differ from the--ahem!--true doctrine? VIZIER. A true Moslem greets Allah in this manner--[crosses hands onbreast] but a sectarian does like this--[Pinches his nose and pokes hisfingers into his ears. ] PEHR. [Laughing. ] Well, can't the man poke his fingers in his ears? VIZIER. No; the laws of the land do not permit it. PEHR. There is no religious liberty, then? VIZIER. Yes, for the _true_ faith. PEHR. But for the others? VIZIER. There must be no others! PEHR. Then I shall give them religious liberty! VIZIER. That the Caliph can not do. PEHR. Who can, then? VIZIER. The Government alone. PEHR. Who is the government? [Vizier and all others present place a finger to mouth. ] PEHR. A secret? VIZIER. That is the constitutional despotism's secret. PEHR. But I had the liberty of changing the religion? VIZIER. Politics is another matter! PEHR. Then God save all peoples from politics! Must I begin my reignwith the refusal of an humble petition? VIZIER. Your Highness cannot begin better than by strengthening the lawsof the realm. PEHR. But I'll never sign! VIZIER. It is not necessary; the Administration will attend to that. The Cabinet is adjourned. Will it please Your Highness to lay aside hisofficial attire and return to private life, with its petty diversions. The Chamberlain is at Your Highness' service. [Goes. ] [The Chamberlain removes Caliph's crown and sceptre and conducts him todivan. Enter Dancers, Singers and Poet Laureate. The Dance. ] PEHR. What is this company? CHAMBERLAIN. This is the Court. PEHR. Why do they wear such short dresses? I do not like that custom. CHAMBERLAIN. It is the custom of the country, Your Highness. PEHR. This at least is not politics. CHAMBERLAIN. The first Court Singer begs that she may entertainYour Highness with an idealistic song written by the celebrated poetlaureate, Hourglass-Link. PEHR. Be good enough to entertain me! SINGER. [With lute, sings. ] Then say farewell to Horaire, the march is already broken. O army, hast thou the strength to say a farewell! PEHR. Where's the rhyme? POET LAUREATE. There are no rhymes in this kind of poetry. PEHR. That's bad! Continue-- AMEER. [Aside to historian. ] He's not long for this place. SINGER. Your Highness must pardon me, but I am indisposed to-day. PEHR. Chamberlain, is there not something in the constitution calledbastinado? [Panic. ] CHAMBERLAIN. Assuredly--but-- PEHR. [To singer. ] Continue, then! SINGER. [Sings. ] Marble brow, flowing hair, sparkling rows of teeth, She steps as light as the pacer, lest she soil her hoof in the mud. PEHR. Mud? I don't like dirt in poetry. Go on! SINGER. Swelling bosom, slender waist, throbbing now anew; As she gives each fresh embrace, she is like to break in two! PEHR. Oh--! SINGER. O happy man with perfume laden Man of high estate! Who may in some dreary hour Hold her in his sweet embrace. PEHR. That will do! Where's the author? Author! POET LAUREATE. Your Highness, I have not learned to flatter. PEHR. Haven't you? That's a poor poet laureate! Then play up yourstrophe so we may hear if you lie. POET LAUREATE. Your Highness--surely I can never question-- PEHR. Don't talk--just reel off! POET LAUREATE. The soul hath lost itself since love's flame it hath grasped, Nor doth it awaken to reason, under the witchcraft of eyes. But my love for hinds I leave-- PEHR. Pardon--what did you say? POET LAUREATE. [Irritated. ] My love for hinds I leave and cherish a noble prince, Generous and well born--nor tainted by low base deeds; The prince who hath vanquished his foemen. Whatever the cost might be, Strong in the Faith is he! Heresy's dreaded scourge! PEHR. [Springs to his feet. ] Do you mean it seriously or are you joking? POET LAUREATE. I mean it seriously, Your Highness. How should anythingelse be-- PEHR. Indeed! It is in all seriousness, then, that you praise my lowactions? POET LAUREATE. Your Highness stands as high above low actions as the sunabove a mud-puddle! PEHR. I know you and your gang, counterfeiter! You call me, whoforeswore my faith, the Defender of the Faith; you say that I, abell-ringer's son, am of royal descent; that I am generous, who refusedto grant the first humble petition presented since my coming to thethrone! I know you, for your kind is to be found the world over. Youlive for thought and immortality, you say; but you are never seen when athought is to be born; you are never felt when it comes to a question ofimmortality. But around heaped up dishes, in the sunlight of affluenceand power, there you swarm, like fat meat flies, only to fly away thatyou may set black specks upon those who can let themselves be slain forboth thought and immortality. Out of my sight, liar! I would have yourhead removed did I not see the shadow of a purpose in your presence. A poor ruler is forced by political considerations to do so manydespicable things that he would die of shame did he not have aninstitution like you to dull his conscience continually. Go! I would bealone. CHAMBERLAIN. Your Highness, it cannot be. PEHR. It can be! [All go out except Pehr and Royal Historian. ] PEHR. What are you waiting for? What do you do? HISTORIAN. I am writing Your Highness' history. PEHR. So you are Court Historian. HISTORIAN. Royal-- PEHR. What matter, once you're dead! But what shall you write about? Ihave never carried on any wars. HISTORIAN. That is just what I wish to speak about. Your Highness onlyneed turn to the Minister of War-- PEHR. Then he will arrange one; that is his occupation, and for that heis paid 20, 000 shekels. HISTORIAN. It is the people, Your Highness, who-- PEHR. Conduct the wars. The Minister of War makes them, while we sit athome and take the glory--the shame we never take. [Enter Vizier. ] VIZIER. The bride is waiting. PEHR. The bride! Who? Where? What does it mean? VIZIER. Your Highness' consort. PEHR. Lisa! She loves me still, despite all my faults? Conduct herhither. She shall bring the fresh air of the forest into these mustyhalls! VIZIER. Your Highness wished first to sign the marriage contract. PEHR. I'm forever writing! No, this time I don't have to read. [Signs. ]Now, Royal Historian, you can put down at least one action in my lifethat was not crime! [Vizier and Historian go. ] [Bride, veiled in Oriental fashion, is ushered in; attendants withdrawimmediately; from behind is heard soft music. ] PEHR. [Runs toward bride. ] Lisa, Lisa! You always come like a sunbeamwhen the clouds thicken--always like a friend in the dark hour! BRIDE. [Raises veil. ] My name is not Lisa. PEHR. Not Lisa--What does this mean? Treachery! Who are you then? BRIDE. Your consort. PEHR. My consort! BRIDE. [Indifferently. ] The Administration had three candidates for you:The Vizier's choice fell upon me because my father threatened you with atariff treaty. PEHR. The administration's candidate--tariff treaties--what does thatsignify? BRIDE. Politics require that princes shall sacrifice their personalconsiderations for the good of the people. PEHR. Politics require--But does the good of the people require anyprinces? BRIDE. I don't know--but it's done once for all, and now you are myhusband. Have the goodness to be happy, or you will be miserable. PEHR. Are you happy? BRIDE. I am nothing. PEHR. Do you love me? BRIDE. No, certainly not! And you me? PEHR. No! BRIDE. You love your Lisa? PEHR. And you your-- BRIDE. Ali. PEHR. O misery and lamentation! BRIDE. Calm yourself a moment--One moment, while they come in andcongratulate us. The bridal procession is waiting without. Silence! Theyare nearing; stand at my side! PEHR. Must I go forth again, and jest? BRIDE. Obey me, for I'm a wise woman! When they go I shall tell you myplan. Here they come! Look pleasant, husband, else they will say that Imade you unhappy. PEHR. Dear old father, how right you were! Black is black and cannever be white. [Pehr and bride seat themselves on divan and assume asentimental attitude. ] [Enter Singers, Dancers, Chamberlain, Ameer, Royal Historian, Vizier. ] _Chorus of women sing_: Joyous the loving hearts That bleed from cupid's darts! Ye nightingales and ye roses sing, Noble halls and courtyards ring! The Caliph's court rejoices And echoes love's true voices. [Pehr and bride hide their agitation. ] VIZIER. Caliph, a happy people, whom you find assembled here, at thefoot of the throne, rejoice as they see happiness, like a sun, beam inyour eyes to shine on the white rose which long hath sought the talloak's trunk to lean upon; a happy people, youthful princess, rejoice inyour good fortune and hope that your tree may have off-shoots with freshrose buds, which, at some future day, may spread joy and bliss, like aspring rain, over land and kingdom! [Pehr leaps up and draws his sword, bride attempts in vain to calm him. ] PEHR. Hell and Damnation! You grand vizier of lies! and you, dressedup adventurers, are you my people! Are these hired maidens, with theirvenal tricks, my people who pay taxes to us that we may say nay to theirhumblest request? No! I have never seen my people. Is this young woman, whom you have placed by my side, my mate who loves me? No--She is aheifer that you have let into my stall; she is an imp who is to shootbranches on the genealogical tree; she is an administration's candidatewho makes happy her spouse with a tariff treaty. You call us happybecause we pretend to be; but we are most unhappy, for we stand near thebrink of a crime, which, praise God, we shall never commit. I curse you, palace! dedicated as a temple of lies. Down in the dust with you, falsefamily tree! [Genealogical chart drops from wall and rolls up on floor. ]Break into shatters, crown and sceptre, tyranny's symbols! [Crown andsceptre come down with a crash. ] Tumble throne, where unrighteousnessis seated! [Throne collapses. Thunder, lightning, storm. ] Scatter likedecoys, fortune hunters and outcasts that have placed yourselves betweennoble and commoner! [All but bride disappear. To bride. ] You lamb ofsacrifice, be free like myself! Now I want to go out into Nature and seeif honor and decency do not still live! [Bride vanishes; Pehr remainsstanding, hands to face, until scene is changed. ] SCENE TWO. Seashore with wreckage of cast up seaweed, etc. To left an up-rootedoak-stump, fishing tackle and hulk of a wrecked vessel. Background: opensea; seamews float on waves. To right cliff-shore with pine woods; lowerdown is a hut. PEHR. Where am I? I breathe freer--All evil thoughts flee! I sense aperfume as of old romances; I hear a murmur, like far-away streams; theground under me is soft as a bed. Ah--it is the seashore! O Sea! Thou Mother Earth's good mother! Be greeted by an old andwithered heart Which comes that it may be by thy moist winds Swept cleanand freshened; Which comes to thy salt waves for cleansing baths Andhealing for the sores the world's lies and madness gave to it. Blow wind, and fill with thy pure air My lungs, that breathed inpois'n-filled vapours; Sing wave, and let mine ear be soothed By theharmonies of thy pure tones, As I stand here 'mongst the wreckage on thestrand, A wreck myself, which the breakers cast upon the sand When thevessel crashed 'gainst the sharp cliff-rocks! Be greeted, Sea, thatnurses healthy thoughts And recreates the soul in shrunken body Whenevery spring thy billows break And gull and swallow chatter 'bove thywave, To wak'n anew the joy of life, and strength, and hope! [Sees hut. ] What's this? A human habitation! Not even here is a moment's peacegranted me--Maledictions! A VOICE. Curse not! [It darkens and the sea begins to rise, moving toward him duringfollowing speech so that he is forced down stage. ] PEHR. Who spoke? [Tries to flee toward left and is met by elk. ] Wildbeasts stop me! [Tries to flee toward right, but is intercepted bybulls. ] Even here--Back! [Animals come on stage and crowd around him. ]They surround me! Help! [Runs to but and knocks. ] Is no one here? Help, help! [Attempts to cast himself into the sea, but sea-serpents anddragons rise up. ] Ah, nature, even you are a savage monster that woulddevour all you come upon! You, my last friend, tricked me also--Whatterror's visions! The sea would swallow me. What is my life worth more?Come, Death, and set me free! [Sea gradually subsides. ] [Enter Death; beasts vanish. ] DEATH. Here am I, at your service! What would you me? PEHR. [Cowers, but recovers himself. ] Oh, really!--It was nothingespecially pressing-- DEATH. You called me! PEHR. Did I actually do that? Well, it is only a form of speech which weuse; I really want nothing of you. DEATH. But I want something of you! Stand straight on your legs and I'llcut; it will be over in no time. [Raises scythe. ] PEHR. Mercy, mercy! I don't want to die! DEATH. Bosh! What has life to offer you who have no wishes left? PEHR. That one does not know; if one might stop to consider, thenperhaps-- DEATH. Oh, you have had ample time; now it is too late. Straighten yourback so that you may fall like a real world-hater! [Lifts scythe. ] PEHR. No, no, for God's sake, wait a little-- DEATH. You're a timid beggar! Live on then if you think it anything; butdon't regret it later. I shall not come again for a long time. [Startsto go. ] PEHR. No, no, no! don't leave me alone-- DEATH. Alone? Why, you have lovely Nature! PEHR. Yes, it's all very well when the weather is fine and the sunshines, but thus late-- DEATH. You see now that you cannot live without your fellow men. Knockthree times on the door over yonder, and you will find company. [Deathvanishes. Pehr knocks three times on door of hut; the Wise Man comesout. ] WISE MAN. Whom seek you? PEHR. A human being! In short--I'm unhappy. WISE MAN. Then you should not seek human beings, for they cannot helpyou. PEHR. I know it, yet I would neither live nor die; I have suffered all, and my heart will not break! WISE MAN. You are young, and do not know the human heart. In here I havelately been pondering the causes of mankind's misery. Would you like tosee how the little object called the human heart looks? [Steps into hutand returns presently with a casket and a lantern, which he hangs on atree. ] You see the little three-cornered muscle, which now has ceased tobeat--Once it throbbed with rage, thumped with joy, cramped with sorrow, swelled with hope. You see that it is divided into two large chambers:In one lives the good, in the other the evil--or, with a word, theresits an angel on one side of the wall and a devil on the other. When they chance to be at odds with each other--which happens quiteoften--there is unrest in the person and he fancies the heart willburst--but it doesn't, for the walls are thick. Oh, yes, look at thisone! Do you see thousands of little scars from needle thrusts? They didnot go through, but the pricks remain nevertheless. PEHR. Who has borne this heart, Wise Man? WISE MAN. The unhappiest of humans. PEHR. And who was that? WISE MAN. It was a man. Do you see the marks of a heel; do you see thenail-prints? It was a woman that trampled on this heart for twenty-sixyears. PEHR. And he did not tire? WISE MAN. Yes, he grew weary one Christmas Eve and freed himself fromher. As a punishment, he came under the ban of the Powers; he cannotdie, although his heart has been taken from him. PEHR. Can he never be released from the spell? WISE MAN. When his son shall have found a faithful woman and broughther home a bride, then the spell will be broken. But that can never bebecause his son is gone forever. PEHR. What has become of him? WISE MAN. He went out in the world. PEHR. Then why can he never get any bride, poor boy! WISE MAN. Because one who loves only himself can never love anyone else. PEHR. He means the old man, my father. [Wise Man sinks through floor;but vanishes. It begins to dawn. ] PEHR. "He who loves only himself "--So said Lisa also--But I hatemyself, I loathe myself after the cowardly things I have done, and Ilove Lisa! Yes, I love her, I love her! [Sun shines on waves and lightsup pine woods to right; clouds disperse. A boat is seen out at sea, itcomes nearer and nearer and Lisa is seen at the rudder. She beckons toPehr as the boat recedes. ] Sea-gulls in the air, tell her! Sunbeams, carry my words on your pillarsof fire, and bear them to her. But where must I seek thee--where? [Boatis seen on horizon a moment. ] It is she! Now, ring, fulfill my last wishand take me to her! The ring is gone! Woe, what does this augur? Is mystory ended, or shall it now begin perhaps? Lisa, my soul's belovéd! [Heruns up on cliff and waves. ] If you hear me, answer; if you see me, giveme a sign! Ah--she turns out toward the fjord--Well, then, storm andsea, that separate me from all that my heart loves, I challenge you tobattle for the highest prize! [Pushes out boat drawn up on shore. ] Blow, wind, and rock, wave! My weak keel shall cleave you like a sword. On, my boat, even though we miss the goal, let us struggle on till wesink! CURTAIN. ACT FIVE SCENE: Interior of a little country church, with frescoed ceiling. Atback, centre, altar with crucifix; to left, pulpit; on a pillar downleft an image of Saint Bartholomew with skin in hand; directly opposite, on a pillar, image of Saint Laurence with the grill. Broom is proppedagainst altar railing. Two rows of praying stools at right and leftsides form an aisle from front to altar. At right a confessional; atleft an iron door. [The Elf stands in one window, the Fairy in the other. ] ELF. It was not the old man that ate up the porridge, it was the rats. FAIRY. Then it was not to do Pehr a kindness that you sent him out inthe world, but to harm the old man! ELF. Even we immortals can make mistakes. Let, us make amends for ourfault. FAIRY. If it is not too late? ELF. How so? FAIRY. Pehr is a misanthrope and cannot become reconciled to life. ELF. Lisa will rectify all that, and then the old man will have atonedfor his sin. One must patch where one has torn. FAIRY. I have already made my preparations. ELF. Here? FAIRY. Here in this sanctuary whose floor we may not tread. ELF. And why not? True, it is holy ground, and we were not allowedto become participants in the Great Redemption because--well, becausesomething which we mustn't know about came between. But that does notprevent the humans from believing some good of us; and in that theydo right, for the matter has its sides. Meantime, I shall not absentmyself--even if I may not be near to witness that this reconciliationcomes out all right. Even we lost souls can rejoice in the happiness ofothers. Farewell, but not for long. FAIRY. Farewell. [Elf and Fairy vanish. ] [Enter Lisa. ] LISA. Here in this peaceful church the good fairy promised me that Ishould meet him--How shall I behold him now? Has he learned aught oflife, or is he still the same selfish, pleasure-loving youth who pursuesonly fickle fortune? If he had had the courage to do a bad act in a goodcause, then he would at least have shown that he could make a sacrificefor something besides himself; for the most that we can give to a causeis our precious regard for ourselves. Higher powers demand that such andsuch shall take place; they choose the instruments where they will andnone may give up the commission, even if it means going under. My friendwas not that sort, and therefore, therefore--Hush! I hear footsteps--Itis he! No, I would not meet him yet; I must collect my thoughts. If Iconceal myself here--in the confessional--[Steps in. ] [Enter Pehr. ] PEHR. [Drops down on a prayer stool, left. ] She flees from me, as Iflee from my bad thoughts! Alone, forsaken--what more is there for me inlife? Naught have I learned of life save its nothingness, and no wishesare left to me but evil ones. My soul would be like an empty shell wereit not filled with her! My life--Ah, what has it been? [Pall pounds onfloor. ] What was that?--Ghosts in the sunshine? That would be a funnysight! [Broom raps on floor. ] Again! 'Tis said that one can see ghostsin broad daylight, if one peeps through a door-crack, it is evenmaintained that one can see oneself. _Oneself_--! If one could reallydo that, how easy it would be to evade one's worst faults! I'll try it. [Opens door left and places himself behind it. ] [Pehr's shadow steps up into the pulpit, drinks from the goblet, andturns hour-glass. Pehr stands at door with back to spectators. ] SHADOW. My beloved hearers! [Pall, Broom, Bartholomew and Laurencestir. ] My beloved hearers and you, Pehr, who stand behind the door, my sermon will not be long since the hour is already late and it isespecially to this so-called _Lucky Pehr_ that I would address a fewremarks. Yes, you, Pehr--you have rushed through life like a fool, inpursuit of fortune; all your wishes have been fulfilled--save one andthey have brought you no happiness. Pay attention, you who stand behindthe door! You have made no leap through life, for on that track one runswell. All the experiences through which you think you have passed werebut dreams; for, believe me, one wins no wishes with luck-rings out herein Reality; here one gains nothing without labor. Do you know what laboris?--No! It is something very heavy; but it must be heavy the sweeterthe repose--Labor, Pehr, and be honest, but don't become a saint, forthen you would be vain, and it is not our virtues but our faults thatmake us human. Listen well, you who stand behind the door--Life is notsuch as you saw it in your youthful dreams. It is a desert, that istrue; but a desert which has its flowers; it is a stormy sea, but onethat has its ports by verdant isles. Heed, Pehr! If you want to go forthinto life now, then do it in earnest. But you will never be a _real_man without a woman--Find her! And now, pay close attention, Pehr, forI shall leave the word to Saint Laurence after dismissing you with thesage's eternally young and eternally old exhortation--Know thyself!Saint Laurence has the word. [Shadow vanishes. ] SAINT LAURENCE. [Presents his grill. ] I am the holy Saint Laurence withthe grill, who, at Emperor Dicii's command was beaten with thongs sevendays in succession and afterwards was broiled on this grill by a slowfire. There is no one who has suffered so much as I! SAINT BARTHOLOMEW. What is that to speak of! I am the holy SaintBartholomew with the skin, who, at Emperor Pamphilii's command wasflayed alive clear down to the knees; and what miracles happened aftermy death! You perhaps have never heard of the mysteries or of the devilin woman shape and the prognostication about the volcano? SAINT LAURENCE. What is that to speak of as compared with mine? I havesix miracles: The beam in the church, the crystal chalice, the Nun'scorpse-- PALL. [Rises up. ] Oh, boast moderately of your sufferings. I am only apall, but for fifty years I have borne on my back so many corpses, and have seen so much suffering--so many shattered hopes, so muchinconsolable grief, so many torn hearts that suffered in silence andwere thrust into oblivion without the solace of gilded statues--that youwould be silent had you seen one-half of it. Ah, life is so black, soblack, so black! BROOM. [Raps on floor and rustles its straws. ] What--you chatter aboutlife, old Pall, you who have seen only death? Life is black on one sideand white on the other. To-day I'm only a broom, but yesterday I stoodin the forest, so stout and trim, and wanted to be something great. They all want to be great, you see, so it happened as it happened! NowI think like this: What comes is best; since you couldn't be great, youmay as well be something else; there is so much to choose from--One mayof course be useful, and at worst one can content oneself with beinggood, and when one has not been given two legs to stand on, one must behappy anyhow and hop on one. [Broom goes bumping along and finally leansagainst altar. ] PEHR. [Walks rapidly over to holy-water fount, by confessional, takesholy-water sprinkler and sprinkles out into the church. ] Away, spectresand evil spirits! [As he lays back sprinkler a noise is heard from theconfessional. ] Someone is there! Reverend Father, hear me and accept thesighs of a broken heart! LISA. [In assumed voice--from confessional. ] Speak, my son. PEHR. How shall I leave my dreams? LISA. Oh, you have dreamed enough and you are no longer young. Think ofyour missteps--have you not made such? PEHR. Yes, I have pursued fortune and have sacrificed conscience andhonor in order to win fame and power. Now I cannot bear misfortune, andhate myself! LISA. Then you have ceased to love yourself above all else? PEHR. Yes. --I would free myself from _self_--if I could. LISA. Then, Pehr, you can also love another. PEHR. Oh, yes! But where shall I seek her? LISA. [Comes out. ] Here! [They embrace. ] PEHR. Now you will not leave me again? LISA. No, Pehr, for now I believe you love me. PEHR. What good fairy sent you across my pathway? LISA. Do you still believe in good fairies? Mark you, when a little babyboy is born into the world, a little baby girl is also born somewhere;and they seek and seek until they find each other. Sometimes they goamiss as to the right one, then it turns out badly; sometimes they neverfind each other, then there is much sorrow and affliction; but whenthey find each other, then there is joy, and it is the greatest joy lifeholds. PEHR. It is Paradise Found! [Enter sexton, with staff--The old Man in the tower. ] SEXTON. The church must be closed. LISA. See, now he drives us from Paradise! PEHR. That he cannot do. --We carry it with us and lay it, like theverdant isle, out in the stormy sea. SEXTON. [Lays down his staff. ] Alongside the peaceful harbor, where thewaves break up and go to rest. PEHR AND LISA. Father! Father! [Fairy and Elf appear, each in theirwindow. ] CURTAIN.