HELEN'S BABIES

With some account of their ways, innocent, crafty, angelic, impish, witching and impulsive; also a partial record of their actions duringten days of their existence

By JOHN HABBERTON

The first cause, so far as it can be determined, of the existence ofthis book may be found in the following letter, written by my onlymarried sister, and received by me, Harry Burton, salesman of whitegoods, bachelor, aged twenty-eight, and received just as I was tryingto decide where I should Spend a fortnight's vacation:--

"HILLCREST, June 15, 1875. 

"DEAR HARRY:--Remembering that you are always complaining that younever have a chance to read, and knowing that you won't get it thissummer, if you spend your vacation among people of your own set, Iwrite to ask you to come up here. I admit that I am not whollydisinterested in inviting you. The truth is, Tom and I are invited tospend a fortnight with my old schoolmate, Alice Wayne, who, you know, is the dearest girl in the world, though you DIDN'T obey me and marryher before Frank Wayne appeared. Well, we're dying to go, for Alice andFrank live in splendid style; but as they haven't included our childrenin their invitation, and have no children of their own, we must leaveBudge and Toddie at home. I've no doubt they'll be perfectly safe, formy girl is a jewel, and devoted to the children, but I would feel agreat deal easier if there was a man in the house. Besides, there's thesilver, and burglars are less likely to break into a house wherethere's a savage-looking man. (Never mind about thanking me for thecompliment. ) If YOU'LL only come up, my mind will be completely atrest. The children won't give you the slightest trouble; they're thebest children in the world--everybody says so. 

"Tom has plenty of cigars, I know, for the money I should have had fora new suit went to pay his cigar-man. He has some new claret, too, thatHE goes into ecstasies over, though _I_ can't tell it from the vilestblack ink, except by the color. Our horses are in splendid condition, and so is the garden--you see I don't forget your old passion forflowers. And, last and best, there never were so many handsome girls atHillcrest as there are among the summer boarders already here; thegirls you already are acquainted with here will see that you meet allthe newer acquisitions. 

"Reply by telegraph right away. 

"Of course you'll say 'Yes. '

"In great haste, your loving

"SISTER HELEN. 

P. S. You shall have our own chamber; it catches every breeze, andcommands the finest views. The children's room communicates with it;so, if anything SHOULD happen to the darlings at night, you'd be sureto hear them. "

"Just the thing!" I ejaculated. Five minutes later I had telegraphedHelen my acceptance of her invitation, and had mentally selected booksenough to busy me during a dozen vacations. Without sharing Helen'sbelief that her boys were the best ones in the world, I knew them wellenough to feel assured that they would not give me any annoyance. Therewere two of them, since Baby Phil died last fall; Budge, the elder, wasfive years of age, and had generally, during my flying visits to Helen, worn a shy, serious, meditative, noble face, with great, pure, penetrating eyes, that made me almost fear their stare. Tom declared hewas a born philanthropist or prophet, and Helen made so free with MissMuloch's lines as to sing:--

 "Ah, the day that THOU goest a-wooing, Budgie, my boy!"

Toddie had seen but three summers, and was a happy little know-nothing, with a head full of tangled yellow hair, and a very pretty fancy forfinding out sunbeams and dancing in them. I had long envied Tom hishorses, his garden, his house and his location, and the idea ofcontrolling them for a fortnight was particularly delightful. Tom'staste in cigars and claret I had always respected, while the ladyinhabitants of Hillcrest were, according to my memory, much like thoseof every other suburban village, the fairest of their sex. 

Three days later I made the hour and a half trip between New York andHillcrest, and hired a hackman to drive me over to Tom's. Half a milefrom my brother-in-law's residence, our horses shied violently, and thedriver, after talking freely to them, turned to me and remarked:--

"That was one of the 'Imps. '"

"What was?" I asked. 

"That little cuss that scared the hosses. There he is, now, holdin' upthat piece of brushwood. 'Twould be just like his cheek, now, to ask meto let him ride. Here he comes, runnin'. Wonder where t'other is?--theymost generally travel together. We call 'em the Imps, about theseparts, because they're so uncommon likely at mischief. Always skeerin'hosses, or chasin' cows, or frightenin' chickens. Nice enough fatheran' mother, too--queer, how young ones do turn out. "

As he spoke, the offending youth came panting beside our carriage, andin a very dirty sailor-suit, and under a broad-brimmed straw hat, withone stocking about his ankle, and two shoes, averaging about twobuttons each, I recognized my nephew, Budge! About the same time thereemerged from the bushes by the roadside a smaller boy in a greengingham dress, a ruffle which might once have been white, dirtystockings, blue slippers worn through at the toes, and an old-fashionedstraw-turban. Thrusting into the dust of the road a branch from a bush, and shouting, "Here's my grass-cutter!" he ran toward us enveloped in a"pillar of cloud, " which might have served the purpose of Israel inEgypt. When he paused and the dust had somewhat subsided, I beheld theunmistakable lineaments of the child Toddie!

"They're--my nephews, " I gasped. 

"What!" exclaimed the driver. "By gracious! I forgot you were going toColonel Lawrence's! I didn't tell anything but the truth about 'em, though; they're smart enough, an' good enough, as boys go; but they'llnever die of the complaint that children has in Sunday-school books. "

"Budge, " said I, with all the sternness I could command, "do you knowme?"

The searching eyes of the embryo prophet and philanthropist scanned mefor a moment, then their owner replied:--

"Yes; you're Uncle Harry. Did you bring us anything?"

"Bring us anything?" echoed Toddie. 

"I wish I could have brought you some big whippings, " said I, withgreat severity of manner, "for behaving so badly. Get into thiscarriage. "

"Come on, Tod, " shouted Budge, although Toddie's farther ear was not ayard from Budge's mouth. "Uncle Harry's going to take us riding!"

"Going to take us riding!" echoed Toddie, with the air of one in areverie; both the echo and the reverie I soon learned werecharacteristics of Toddie. 

As they clambered into the carriage I noticed that each one carried avery dirty towel, knotted in the center into what is known as aslip-noose knot, drawn very tight. After some moments of disgustedcontemplation of these rags, without being in the least able tocomprehend their purpose, I asked Budge what those towels were for. 

"They're not towels--they're dollies, " promptly answered my nephew. 

"Goodness!" I exclaimed. "I should think your mother could buy yourespectable dolls, and not let you appear in public with thoseloathsome rags. "

"We don't like buyed dollies, " explained Budge. "These dollies islovely; mine's name is Mary, an' Toddie's is Marfa. "

"Marfa?" I queried. 

"Yes; don't you know about

 "Marfa and Mary's jus' gone along To ring dem charmin' bells, that them Jubilee sings about?"

"Oh, Martha, you mean?"

"Yes, Marfa--that's what I say. Toddie's dolly's got brown eyes, an' mydolly's got blue eyes. "

"I want to shee yours watch, " remarked Toddie, snatching at my chain, and rolling into my lap. 

"Oh--oo--ee, so do I, " shouted Budge, hastening to occupy one knee, andIN TRANSITU wiping his shoes on my trousers and the skirts of my coat. Each imp put an arm about me to steady himself, as I produced mythree-hundred-dollar time-keeper and showed them the dial. 

"I want to see the wheels go round, " said Budge. 

"Want to shee wheels go wound, " echoed Toddie. 

"No; I can't open my watch where there's so much dust, " I said. 

"What for?" inquired Budge. 

"Want to shee the wheels go wound, " repeated Toddie. 

"The dust gets inside the watch and spoils it, " I explained. 

"Want to shee the wheels go wound, " said Toddie, once more. 

"I tell you I can't, Toddie, " said I, with considerable asperity. "Dustspoils watches. "

The innocent gray eyes looked up wonderingly, the dirty, but prettylips parted slightly, and Toddie murmured:--

"Want to shee the wheels go wound. "

I abruptly closed my watch and put it into my pocket. InstantlyToddie's lower lip commenced to turn outward, and continued to do sountil I seriously feared the bony portion of his chin would be exposedto view. Then his lower jaw dropped, and he cried:--

"Ah--h--h--h--h--h--want--to--shee--the wheels--go wou--OUND. "

"Charles" (Charles is his baptismal name), --"Charles, " I exclaimed withsome anger, "stop that noise this instant! Do you hear me?"

"Yes--oo--oo--oo--ahoo--ahoo. "

"Then stop it. "

"Wants to shee--"

"Toddie, I've got some candy in my trunk, but I won't give you a bit ifyou don't stop that infernal noise. "

"Well, I wants to shee wheels go wound. Ah--ah--h--h--h--h!"

"Toddie, dear, don't cry so. Here's some ladies coming in a carriage;you wouldn't let THEM see you crying, would you? You shall see thewheels go round as soon as we get home. "

A carriage containing a couple of ladies was rapidly approaching, asToddie again raised his voice. 

"Ah--h--h--wants to shee wheels--"

Madly I snatched my watch from my pocket, opened the case, and exposedthe works to view. The other carriage was meeting ours, and I droppedmy head to avoid meeting the glance of the unknown occupants, for myfew moments of contact with my dreadful nephews had made me feelinexpressibly unneat. Suddenly the carriage with the ladies stopped. Iheard my own name spoken, and raising my head quickly (encounteringBudge's bullet head EN ROUTE to the serious disarrangement of my hat), I looked into the other carriage. There, erect, fresh, neat, composed, bright-eyed, fair-faced, smiling and observant, --she would have beenall this, even if the angel of the resurrection had just sounded hisdreadful trump, --sat Miss Alice Mayton, a lady who, for about a year, Ihad been adoring from afar. 

"When did YOU arrive, Mr. Burton?" she asked, "and how long have youbeen officiating as child's companion? You're certainly a happy-lookingtrio--so unconventional. I hate to see children all dressed up andstiff as little manikins, when they go out to ride. And you look as ifyou had been having SUCH a good time with them. "

"I--I assure you, Miss Mayton, " said I, "that my experience has beenthe exact reverse of a pleasant one. If King Herod were yet alive I'dvolunteer as an executioner, and engage to deliver two interestingcorpses at a moment's notice. "

"You dreadful wretch!" exclaimed the lady. "Mother, let me make youacquainted with Mr. Burton, --Helen Lawrence's brother. How is yoursister, Mr. Burton?"

"I don't know, " I replied; "she has gone with her husband on afortnight's visit to Captain and Mrs. Wayne, and I've been silly enoughto promise to have an eye to the place while they're away. "

"Why, how delightful!" exclaimed Miss Mayton. "SUCH horses! SUCHflowers! SUCH a cook!"

"And such children, " said I, glaring suggestively at the imps, andrescuing from Toddie a handkerchief which he had extracted from mypocket, and was waving to the breeze. 

"Why, they're the best children in the world. Helen told me so thefirst time I met her this season! Children will be children, you know. We had three little cousins with us last summer, and I'm sure they mademe look years older than I really am. "

"How young you must be, then, Miss Mayton!" said I. I suppose I lookedat her as if I meant what I said, for, although she inclined her headand said, "Oh, thank you, " she didn't seem to turn my compliment off inher usual invulnerable style. Nothing happening in the course ofconversation ever discomposed Alice Mayton for more than a hundredseconds, however, so she soon recovered her usual expression andself-command, as her next remark fully indicated. 

"I believe you arranged the floral decorations at the St. Zephaniah'sFair, last winter, Mr. Burton? 'Twas the most tasteful display of theseason. I don't wish to give any hints, but at Mrs. Clarkson's, wherewe're boarding, there's not a flower in the whole garden. I break theTenth Commandment dreadfully every time I pass Colonel Lawrence'sgarden. Good-by, Mr. Burton. "

"Ah, thank you; I shall be delighted. Good-by. "

"Of course you'll call, " said Miss Mayton, as her carriagestarted, --"it's dreadfully stupid here--no men except on Sundays. "

I bowed assent. In the contemplation of all the shy possibilities whichmy short chat with Miss Mayton had suggested, I had quite forgotten mydusty clothing and the two living causes thereof. While in MissMayton's presence the imps had preserved perfect silence, but now theirtongues were loosened. 

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, "do you know how to make whistles?"

"Ucken Hawwy, " murmured Toddie, "does you love dat lady?"

"No, Toddie, of course not. "

"Then you's baddy man, an' de Lord won't let you go to heaven if youdon't love peoples. "

"Yes, Budge, " I answered hastily, "I do know how to make whistles, andyou shall have one. "

"Lord don't like mans what don't love peoples, " reiterated Toddie. 

"All right, Toddie, " said I. "I'll see if I can't please the Lord someway. Driver, whip up, won't you? I'm in a hurry to turn theseyoungsters over to the girl, and ask her to drop them into thebath-tub. "

I found Helen had made every possible arrangement for my comfort. Herroom commanded exquisite views of mountain-slope and valley, and eventhe fact that the imps' bedroom adjoined mine gave me comfort, for Ithought of the pleasure of contemplating them while they were asleep, and beyond the power of tormenting their deluded uncle. 

At the supper-table Budge and Toddie appeared cleanly clothed in theirrightful faces. Budge seated himself at the table; Toddie pushed backhis high-chair, climbed into it, and shouted:

"Put my legs under ze tabo. "

Rightfully construing this remark as a request to be moved to thetable, I fulfilled his desire. The girl poured tea for me and milk forthe children, and retired; and then I remembered, to my dismay, thatHelen never had a servant in the dining-room except upon grandoccasions, her idea being that servants retail to their friends thecream of the private conversation of the family circle. In principle Iagreed with her, but the penalty of the practical application, withthese two little cormorants on my hands, was greater suffering than anyI had ever been called upon to endure for principle's sake; but therewas no help for it. I resignedly rapped on the table, bowed my head, said, "From what we are about to receive, the Lord make us thankful, "and asked Budge whether he ate bread or biscuit. 

"Why, we ain't asked no blessin' yet, " said he. 

"Yes, I did, Budge, " said I. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Do you mean what you said just now?"

"Yes. "

"Oh, I don't think that was no blessin' at all. Papa never says thatkind of a blessin'. "

"What does papa say, may I ask?" I inquired, with becoming meekness. 

"Why, papa says, 'Our Father, we thank thee for this food; mercifullyremember with us all the hungry and needy to-day, for Christ's sake, Amen. ' That's what he says. "

"It means the same thing, Budge. "

"_I_ don't think it does; and Toddie didn't have no time to say HISblessin'. I don't think the Lord'll like it if you do it that way. "

"Yes, he will, old boy; he knows what people mean. "

"Well, how can he tell what Toddie means if Toddie can't say anything?"

"Wantsh to shay my blessin', " whined Toddie. 

It was enough; my single encounter with Toddie had taught me to respectthe young gentleman's force of character. So again I bowed my head, andrepeated what Budge had reported as "papa's blessin', " Budge kindlyprompting me where my memory failed. The moment I began, Toddiecommenced to jabber rapidly and aloud, and the instant the "Amen" waspronounced he raised his head and remarked with evident satisfaction:--

"I shed my blessin' TWO timesh. "

And Budge said gravely:--

"NOW I guess we are all right. "

The supper was an exquisite one, but the appetites of those dreadfulchildren effectually prevented my enjoying the repast. I hastilyretired, called the girl, and instructed, her to see that the childrenhad enough to eat, and were put to bed immediately after; then I lit acigar and strolled into the garden. The roses were just in bloom, theair was full of the perfume of honeysuckles, the rhododendrons had notdisappeared, while I saw promise of the early unfolding of many otherpet flowers of mine. I confess that I took a careful survey of thegarden to see how fine a bouquet I might make for Miss Mayton, and wasso abundantly satisfied with the material before me that I longed tobegin the work at once, but that it would seem too hasty for truegentility. So I paced the paths, my hands behind my back, and my facewell hidden by fragrant clouds of smoke, and went into wondering andreveries. I wondered if there was any sense in the language of flowers, of which I had occasionally seen mention made by silly writers; Iwished I had learned it if it had any meaning; I wondered if MissMayton understood it. At any rate, I fancied I could arrange flowers tothe taste of any lady whose face I had ever seen; and for Alice MaytonI would make something so superb that her face could not help lightingup when she beheld it. I imagined just how her bluish-gray eyes wouldbrighten, her cheeks would redden, --not with sentiment, not a bit ofit; but with genuine pleasure, --how her strong lips would part slightlyand disclose sweet lines not displayed when she held her features wellin hand. I--I, a clear-headed, driving, successful salesman of whitegoods--actually wished I might be divested of all nineteenth-centuryabilities and characteristics, and be one of those fairies that onlysilly girls and crazy poets think of, and might, unseen, behold themeeting of my flowers with this highly cultivated specimen of the onlysort of flowers our cities produce. What flower did she most resemble?A lily?--no; too--not exactly too bold, but too--too, well, I couldn'tthink of the word, but clearly it wasn't bold. A rose! Certainly, notlike those glorious but blazing remontants, nor yet like the shy, delicate, ethereal tea-roses with their tender suggestions of color. Like this perfect Gloire de Dijon, perhaps; strong, vigorous, self-asserting, among its more delicate sisterhood; yet shapely, perfect in outline and development, exquisite, enchanting in its neverfully-analyzed tints, yet compelling the admiration of every one, andrecalling its admirers again and again by the unspoken appeal of itsown perfection--its unvarying radiance. 

"Ah--h--h--h--ee--ee--ee--ee--ee--oo--oo--oo--oo" came from the windowover my head. Then came a shout of--"Uncle Harry!" in a voice Irecognized as that of Budge. I made no reply: there are moments whenthe soul is full of utterances unfit to be heard by childish ears. "Uncle Har-RAY!" repeated Budge. Then I heard a window-blind open, andBudge exclaiming:--

"Uncle Harry, we want you to come and tell us stories. "

I turned my eyes upward quickly, and was about to send a savagenegative in the same direction, when I saw in the window a face unknownand yet remembered. Could those great, wistful eyes, that angelicmouth, that spiritual expression, belong to my nephew Budge? Yes, itmust be--certainly that super-celestial nose and those enormous earsnever belonged to any one else. I turned abruptly, and entered thehouse, and was received at the head of the stairway by two littlefigures in white, the larger of which remarked:--

"We want you tell us stories--papa always does nights. "

"Very well, jump into bed--what kind of stories do you like?"

"Oh, 'bout Jonah, " said Budge. 

"'Bout Jonah, " echoed Toddie. 

"Well, Jonah was out in the sun one day and a gourd-vine grew up all ofa sudden, and made it nice and shady for him, and then it all faded asquick as it came. "

A dead silence prevailed for a moment, and then Budge indignantlyremarked:--

 "That ain't Jonah a bit--_I_ know 'bout Jonah. "

"Oh, you do, do you?" said I. "Then maybe you'll be so good as toenlighten me?"

"Huh?"

"If you know about Jonah, tell me the story; I'd really enjoy listeningto it. "

"Well, " said Budge, "once upon a time the Lord told Jonah to go toNineveh and tell the people they was all bad. But Jonah didn't want togo, so he went on a boat that was going to Joppa. And then there was abig storm, an' it rained an' blowed and the big waves went as high as ahouse. An' the sailors thought there must be somebody on the boat thatthe Lord didn't like. An' Jonah said he guessed HE was the man. So theypicked him up and froed him in the ocean, an' I don't think it was wellfor 'em to do that after Jonah told the troof. An' a big whale wascomin' along, and he was awful hungry, cos the little fishes what helikes to eat all went down to the bottom of the ocean when it began tostorm, and whales can't go to the bottom of the ocean, cos they have tocome up to breeve, an' little fishes don't. An' Jonah found 'twas alldark inside the whale, and there wasn't any fire there, an' it was allwet, and he couldn't take off his clothes to dry, cos there wasn't noplace to hang 'em, an' there wasn't no windows to look out of, nornothin' to eat, nor nothin' nor nothin' nor nothin. ' So he asked theLord to let Mm out, an' the Lord was sorry for him, an' he made thewhale go up close to the land, an' Jonah jumped right out of his mouth, an' WASN'T he glad? An' then he went to Nineveh, an' done what the Lordtold him to, and he ought to have done it in the first place if he hadknown what was good for him. "

"Done first payshe, know what's dood for him, " asserted Toddie, insupport of his brother's assertion. "Tell us 'nudder story. "

"Oh, no, sing us a song, " suggested Budge. 

"Shing us shong, " echoed Toddie. 

I searched my mind for a song, but the only one which came promptly was"M'Appari, " several bars of which I gave my juvenile audience, whenBudge interrupted me, saying:--

"I don't think that's a very good song. "

"Why not, Budge?"

"Cos I don't. I don't know a word what you're talking 'bout. "

"Shing 'bout 'Glory, glory, hallelulyah, '" suggested Toddie, and Imeekly obeyed. The old air has a wonderful influence over me. I heardit in western camp-meetings and negro-cabins when I was a boy; I sawthe 22d Massachusetts march down Broadway, singing the same air duringthe rush to the front during the early days of the war; I have heard itsung by warrior tongues in nearly every Southern State; I heard itroared by three hundred good old Hunker Democrats as they escorted NewYork's first colored regiment to their place of embarkation; my oldbrigade sang it softly, but with a swing that was terrible in itsearnestness, as they lay behind their stacks of arms just before goingto action; I have heard it played over the grave of many a deadcomrade; the semi-mutinous--the cavalry became peaceful and patrioticagain as their band-master played the old air after having askedpermission to try HIS hand on them; it is the same that burst forthspontaneously in our barracks, on that glorious morning when we learnedthat the war was over, and it was sung, with words adapted to theoccasion, by some good rebel friends of mine, on our first socialmeeting after the war. All these recollections came hurrying into mymind as I sang, and probably excited me beyond my knowledge, for Budgesuddenly remarked:--

"Don't sing that all day, Uncle Harry; you sing so loud, it hurts myhead. "

"Beg your pardon, Budge, " said I. "Good-night. "

"Why, Uncle Harry, are you going? You didn't hear us say ourprayers, --papa always does. "

"Oh! Well, go ahead. "

"You must say yours first, " said Budge; "that's the way papa does. "

"Very well, " said I, and I repeated St. Chrysostom's prayer, from theEpiscopal service. I had hardly said "Amen, " when Budge remarked:--

"My papa don't say any of them things at all; I don't think that's avery good prayer. "

"Well, you say a good prayer, Budge. "

"Allright. " Budge shut his eyes, dropped his voice to the most perfecttone of supplication, while his face seemed fit for a sleeping angel, then he said:--

"Dear Lord, we thank you for lettin' us have a good time to-day, an' wehope all the little boys everywhere have had good times too. We prayyou to take care of us an' everybody else to-night, an' don't let 'emhave any trouble. Oh, yes, an' Uncle Harry's got some candy in histrunk, cos he said so in the carriage, --we thank you for lettin' UncleHarry come to see us, an' we hope he's got LOTS of candy--lots an'piles. An' we pray you to take good care of all the poor little boysand girls that haven't got any papas an' mammas an' Uncle Harrys an'candy an' beds to sleep in. An' take us all to Heaven when we die, forChrist's sake. Amen. Now give us the candy, Uncle Harry. "

"Hush, Budge; don't Toddie say any prayers?"

"Oh yes; go on, Tod. "

Toddie closed his eyes, wriggled, twisted, breathed hard and quick, acting generally as if prayers were principally a matter of physicalexertion. At last he began:--

"Dee Lord, not make me sho bad, an' besh mamma, an' papa, an' Budgie, and doppity, [Footnote: Grandmother. ] an' both boggies, [Footnote:Grandfathers. ] an' all good people in dish house, and everybody else, an' my dolly. A--a--amen!"

"Now give us the candy, " said Budge, with the usual echo from Toddie. 

I hastily extracted the candy from my trunk, gave some to each boy, therecipients fairly shrieking with delight, and once more said good-night. 

"Oh, you didn't give us any pennies, " said Budge. "Papa gives us someto put in our banks, every nights. "

"Well, I haven't got any now--wait until to-morrow. "

"Then we want drinks. "

"I'll let Maggie bring you drink. "

"Want my dolly, " murmured Toddie. 

I found the knotted towels, took the dirty things up gingerly and threwthem upon the bed. 

"Now want to shee wheels go wound, " said Toddie. 

I hurried out of the room and slammed the door. I looked at mywatch--it was half-past eight; I had spent an hour and a half withthose dreadful children. They WERE funny to be sure--I found myselflaughing in spite of my indignation. Still, if they were to monopolizemy time as they had already done, when was I to do my reading? TakingFiske's "Cosmic Philosophy" from my trunk I descended to the backparlor, lit a cigar and a student-lamp, and began to read. I had notfairly commenced when I heard a patter of small feet, and saw my eldernephew before me. There was sorrowful protestation in every line of hiscountenance, as he exclaimed:--

"You didn't say 'Good-by' nor 'God bless you' nor anything. "

"Oh--good-by. "

"Good-by. "

"God bless you. "

"God bless you. "

Budge seemed waiting for something else. At last he said:--

"Papa says, 'God bless everybody. '"

"Well, God bless everybody. "

"God bless everybody, " responded Budge, and turned silently and wentup-stairs. 

"Bless your tormenting honest little heart, " I said to myself; "if mentrusted God as you do your papa, how little business there'd be forpreachers to do. "

The night was a perfect one. The pure fresh air, the perfume of theflowers, the music of the insect choir in the trees and shrubbery--thevery season itself seemed to forbid my reading philosophy, so I laidFiske aside, delighted myself with a few rare bits from Paul Hayne'snew volume of poems, read a few chapters of "One Summer, " and finallysauntered off to bed. My nephews were slumbering sweetly; it seemedimpossible that the pure, exquisite, angelic faces before me belongedto my tormentors of a few hours before. As I lay on my couch I couldsee the dark shadow and rugged crest of the mountain; above it, thesilver stars against the blue, and below it the rival lights of thefireflies against the dark background formed by the mountain itself. Norumbling of wheels tormented me, nor any of the thousand noises thatfill city air with the spirit of unrest, and I fell into a wonderalmost indignant that sensible, comfortable, loving beings could livein horrible New York, while such delightful rural homes were so near athand. Then Alice Mayton came into my mind, and then a customer; later, stars and trademarks, and bouquets, and dirty nephews, and firefliesand bad accounts, and railway tickets, and candy and Herbert Spencer, mixed themselves confusingly in my mind. Then a vision of a proudangel, in the most fashionable attire and a modern carriage, came andbanished them all by its perfect radiance, and I was sinking in themost blissful unconsciousness--

"Ah--h--h--h--h--h--oo--oo--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--"

"Sh--h--h!" I hissed. 

The warning was heeded, and I soon relapsed into oblivion. 

"Ah--h--h--h--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--BE--ee. "

"Toddie, do you want uncle to whip you?"

"No. "

"Then lie still. "

"Well, Ize lost my dolly, an' I tant find her anywhere. "

"Well, I'll find her for you in the morning. "

"Oo--oo--ee--I wants my dolly. "

"Well, I tell you I'll find her for you in the morning. "

"I want her NOW--oo--oo--"

"You can't have her now, so you can go to sleep. "

"Oh--oo--oo--oo--ee--"

Springing madly to my feet, I started for the offender's room. Iencountered a door ajar by the way, my forehead being first to discoverit. I ground my teeth, lit a candle, and said something--no matter what. 

"Oh, you said a bad swear!" ejaculated Toddie. "You won't go to heavenwhen you die. "

"Neither will you, if you howl like a little demon all night. Are yougoing to be quiet, now?"

"Yesh, but I wants my dolly. "

"_I_ don't know where your dolly is--do you suppose I'm going to searchthis entire house for that confounded dolly?"

"'TAIN'T 'founded. I wants my dolly. "

"I don't know where it is; you don't think I stole your dolly, do you?"

"Well, I wants it, in de bed wif me. "

"Charles, " said I, "when you arise in morning, I hope your doll will befound. At present, however, you must be resigned and go to sleep. I'llcover you up nicely;" here I began to rearrange the bed-clothing, whenthe fateful dolly, source of all my woes, tumbled out of them. Toddieclutched it, his whole face lighting up with affectionate delight, andhe screamed:--

"Oh, dare is my dee dolly: tum to your own papa, dolly, an' I'll loveyou. "

And that ridiculous child was so completely satisfied by his outlay ofaffection that my own indignation gave place to genuine artisticpleasure. One CAN tire of even beautiful pictures, though, when he isnot fully awake, and is holding a candle in a draught of air; so Icovered my nephews and returned to my own room, where I mused upon thecontradictoriness of childhood until I fell asleep. 

In the morning I was awakened very early by the light streaming in thewindow, the blinds of which I had left open the night before. The airwas alive with bird-songs, and the eastern sky was flushing with tintswhich no painter's canvas ever caught. But ante-sunrise skies and songsare not fit subjects for the continued contemplation of men who readuntil midnight; so I hastily closed the blinds, drew the shade, droppedthe curtains and lay down again, dreamily thanking heaven that I was tofall asleep to such exquisite music. I am sure that I mentally forgaveall my enemies as I dropped off into a most delicious doze, but thesudden realization that a light hand was passing over my cheek rousedme to savage anger in an instant. I sprang up, and saw Budge shrinktimidly away from my bedside. 

"I was only a-lovin' you, cos you was good, and brought us candy. Papalets us love him whenever we want to--every morning he does. "

"As early as this?" demanded I. 

"Yes, just as soon as we can see, if we want to. "

Poor Tom! I never COULD comprehend why with a good wife, a comfortableincome, and a clear conscience, he need always look thin andworn--worse than he ever did in Virginia woods or Louisiana swamps. Butnow I knew all. And yet, what could one do? That child's eyes andvoice, and his expression, which exceeded in sweetness that of any ofthe angels I had ever imagined, --that child could coax a man to do moreself-forgetting deeds than the shortening of his precioussleeping-hours amounted to. In fact, he was fast divesting me of myrightful sleepiness, so I kissed him and said:--

"Run to bed, now, dear old fellow, and let uncle go to sleep again. After breakfast, I'll make you a whistle. "

"Oh, will you?" The angel turned into a boy at once. "Yes; now runalong. "

"A LOUD whistle--a real loud one?"

"Yes, but not if you don't go right back to bed. "

The sound of little footsteps receded as I turned over and closed myeyes. Speedily the bird-song seemed to grow fainter; my thoughtsdropped to pieces; I seemed to be floating on fleecy clouds, in companywith hundreds of cherubs with Budge's features and night-drawers--

"Uncle Harry!"

May the Lord forget the prayer I put up just then!

"Uncle Harry!"

"I'll discipline you, my fine little boy, " thought I. "Perhaps, if Ilet you shriek your abominable little throat hoarse, you'll learnbetter than to torment your uncle, that was just getting ready to loveyou dearly. "

"Uncle Har-RAY!"

"Howl, away, you little imp, " thought I. "You've got me wide awake, andyour lungs may suffer for it. " Suddenly I heard, although in sleepytones, and with a lazy drawl, some words which appalled me. Themurmurer was Toddie:--

"Want--she--wheels--go--wound. "

"Budge!" I shouted, in the desperation of my dread lest Toddie, too, might wake up, "what DO you want?"

"Uncle Harry!"

"WHAT!"

"Uncle Harry, what kind of wood are you going to make the whistle outof?"

"I won't make any at all--I'll cut a big stick and give you a soundwhipping with it, for not keeping quiet, as I told you to. "'

"Why, Uncle Harry, papa don't whip us with sticks--he spanks us. "

Heavens! Papa! papa! papa! Was I never to have done with this eternalquotation of "papa"? I was horrified to find myself graduallyconceiving a dire hatred of my excellent brother-in-law. One thing wascertain, at any rate: sleep was no longer possible; so I hastilydressed, and went into the garden. Among the beauty and the fragranceof the flowers, and in the delicious morning air, I succeeded inregaining my temper, and was delighted, on answering thebreakfast-bell, two hours later, to have Budge accost me with:--

"Why, Uncle Harry, where was you? We looked all over the house for you, and couldn't find a speck of you. "

The breakfast was an excellent one. I afterward learned that Helen, dear old girl, had herself prepared a bill of fare for every meal Ishould take in the house. As the table talk of myself and nephews wasnot such as could do harm by being repeated, I requested Maggie, theservant, to wait upon the children, and I accompanied my request with asmall treasury note. Relieved, thus, of all responsibility for thedreadful appetites of my nephews, I did full justice to the repast, andeven regarded with some interest and amusement the industry of Budgeand Toddie with their tiny forks and spoons. They ate rapidly for awhile, but soon their appetites weakened and their tongues wereunloosed. 

"Ocken Hawwy, " remarked Toddie, "daysh an awfoo funny chunt up'tairs--awfoo BIG chunt. I show it you after brepspup. "

"Toddie's a silly little boy, " said Budge; "he always says brepspup forbrekbux. " [Footnote: Breakfast. ]

"Oh! What does he mean by chunt, Budge?"

"I GUESS he means trunk, " replied my oldest nephew. 

Recollections of my childish delight in rummaging an old trunk--itseems a century ago that I did it--caused me to smile sympatheticallyat Toddie, to his apparent great delight. How delightful it is tostrike a sympathetic chord in child-nature, thought I; how quickly theinfant eye comprehends the look which precedes the verbal expression ofan idea! Dear Toddie! for years we might sit at one table, careless ofeach other's words, but the casual mention of one of thy delights hassuddenly brought our souls into that sweetest of all humancommunions--that one which doubtless bound the Master himself to thatapostle who was otherwise apparently the weakest among the chosentwelve. "An awfoo funny chunt" seemed to annihilate suddenly alldifferences of age, condition and experience between the wee boy andmyself, and--

A direful thought struck me. I dashed up-stairs and into my room. Yes, he DID mean my trunk. _I_ could see nothing funny about it--quite thecontrary. The bond of sympathy between my nephew and myself wassuddenly broken. Looking at the matter from the comparative distancewhich a few weeks have placed between that day and this, I can see thatI was unable to consider the scene before me with a calm andunprejudiced mind. I am now satisfied that the sudden birth and hastydecease of my sympathy with Toddie were striking instances of humaninconsistency. My soul had gone out to his because he loved to rummagein trunks, and because I imagined he loved to see the monument ofincongruous material which resulted from such an operation; the scenebefore me showed clearly that I had rightly divined my nephew's nature. And yet my selfish instincts hastened to obscure my soul's vision, andto prevent that joy which should ensue when "Faith is lost in fullfruition. "

My trunk had contained nearly everything, for while a campaigner I hadlearned to reduce packing to an exact science. Now, had there been anatom of pride in my composition I might have glorified myself, for itcertainly seemed as if the heap upon the floor could never have comeout of a single trunk. Clearly, Toddie was more of a generalconnoisseur than an amateur in packing. The method of his work Iquickly discerned, and the discovery threw some light upon the size ofthe heap in front of my trunk. A dress-hat and its case, when theirnatural relationship is dissolved, occupy nearly twice as much space asbefore, even if the former contains a blacking-box not usually kept init, and the latter contains a few cigars soaking in bay rum. The samemight be said of a portable dressing-case and its contents, bought forme in Vienna by a brother ex-soldier, and designed by an oldcontinental campaigner to be perfection itself. The straps whichprevented the cover from falling entirely back had been cut, broken orparted in some way, and in its hollow lay my dresscoat, tightly rolledup. Snatching it up with a violent exclamation, and unrolling it, theredropped from it--one of those infernal dolls. At the same time a howlwas sounded from the doorway. 

"You tookted my dolly out of her cradle--I want to wock mydolly--oo--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--"

"You young scoundrel, " I screamed--yes, howled, I was so enraged--"I'vea great mind to cut your throat this minute. What do you mean bymeddling with my trunk?"

"I--doe--know. " Outward turned Toddie's lower lip; I believe the sightof it would move a Bengal tiger to pity, but no such thought occurredto me just then. 

"What made you do it?"

"BE--cause. "

"Because what?"

"I--doe--know. "

Just then a terrific roar arose from the garden. Looking out, I sawBudge with a bleeding finger upon one hand, and my razor in the other;he afterward explained he had been making a boat, and that knife wasbad to him. To apply adhesive plaster to the cut was the work of but aminute, and I had barely completed this surgical operation when Tom'sgardener-coachman appeared and handed me a letter. It was addressed inHelen's well-known hand, and read as follows (the passages in bracketswere my own comments):--

"BLOOMDALE, June 21, 1875. 

"DEAR HARRY:--I'm very happy in the thought that you are with mydarling children, and, although I'm having a lovely time here, I oftenwish I was with you. [Ump--so do I. ] I want you to know the littletreasures real well. [Thank you, but I don't think I care to extend theacquaintanceship farther than is absolutely necessary. ] It seems to meso unnatural that relatives know so little of those of their own blood, and especially of the innocent little spirits whose existence is almostunheeded. [Not when there's unlocked trunks standing about, sis. ]

"Now I want to ask a favor of you. When we were boys and girls at home, you used to talk perfect oceans about physiognomy, and phrenology, andunerring signs of character. I thought it was all nonsense then, but ifyou believe any of it NOW, I wish you'd study the children, and give meyour well-considered opinion of them. [Perfect demons, ma'am; imps, rascals, born to be hung--both of them. ]

"I can't get over the feeling that dear Budge is born for somethinggrand. [Grand nuisance. ] He is sometimes so thoughtful and so absorbed, that I almost fear the result of disturbing him; then, he has thatfaculty of perseverance which seems to be the on|y thing some men havelacked to make them great. [He certainly has it; he exemplified itwhile I was trying to get to sleep this morning. ]

"Toddie is going to make a poet or a musician or an artist. [That's so;all abominable scamps take to some artistic pursuit as an excuse forloafing. ] His fancies take hold of him very strongly. [They do--theydo; "shee wheels go wound, " for instance. ] He has not Budgie's sublimeearnestness, but he doesn't need it; the irresistible force with whichhe is drawn toward whatever is beautiful compensates for the lack. [Ah--perhaps that explains his operation with my trunk. ] But I wantyour OWN opinion, for I know you make more careful distinction incharacter than I do. 

"Delighting myself with the idea that I deserve most of the credit forthe lots of reading you will have done by this time, and hoping I shallsoon have a line telling me how my darlings are, I am as ever, "Your loving sister, "HELEN. "

Seldom have I been so roused by a letter as I was by this one, andnever did I promise myself more genuine pleasure in writing a reply. Idetermined that it should be a masterpiece of analysis and of calm yetforcible expression of opinion. 

Upon one step, at any rate, I was positively determined. Calling thegirl, I asked her where the key was that locked the door between myroom and the children. 

"Please, sir, Toddie threw it down the well. "

"Is there a locksmith in the village?"

"No, sir; the nearest one is at Paterson. "

"Is there a screwdriver in the house?"

"Yes, sir. "

"Bring it to me, and tell the coachman to get ready at once to drive meto Paterson. "

The screwdriver was brought, and with it I removed the lock, got intothe carriage, and told the driver to take me to Paterson by thehill-road--one of the most beautiful roads in America. 

"Paterson!" exclaimed Budge. "Oh, there's a candy-store in that town, come on, Toddie. "

"Will you?" thought I, snatching the whip and giving the horses a cut. "Not if _I_ can help it. The idea of having such a drive spoiled by theclatter of SUCH a couple!"

Away went the horses, and up rose a piercing shriek and a terribleroar. It seemed that both children must have been mortally hurt, and Ilooked out hastily, only to see Budge and Toddie running after thecarriage, and crying pitifully. It was too pitiful, --I could not haveproceeded without them, even if they had been afflicted with small-pox. The driver stopped of his own accord, --he seemed to know the children'sways and their results, --and I helped Budge and Toddie in, meeklyhoping that the eye of Providence was upon me, and that soself-sacrificing an act would be duly passed to my credit. As wereached the hill-road, my kindness to my nephews seemed to assume, greater proportions, for the view before me was inexpressiblybeautiful. The air was perfectly clear, and across two score towns Isaw the great metropolis itself, the silent city of Greenwood beyondit, the bay, the narrows, the sound, the two silvery rivers lyingbetween me and the Palisades, and even, across and to the south ofBrooklyn, the ocean itself. Wonderful effects of light and shadow, picturesque masses, composed of detached buildings so far distant thatthey seemed huddled together; grim factories turned to beautifulpalaces by the dazzling reflection of sunlight from their window-panes;great ships seeming in the distance to be toy-boats floatingidly;--with no sign of life perceptible, the whole scene recalled thefairy stories, read in my youthful days, of enchanted cities, and theillusion was greatly strengthened by the dragon-like shape of the roofof New York's new post-office, lying in the center of everything, andseeming to brood over all. 

"Uncle Harry!"

Ah, that was what I expected!

"Uncle Harry!"

"Well, Budge?"

"I always think that looks like heaven. "

"What does?"

"Why, all that, --from here over to that other sky way back there behindeverything, I mean. And I think THAT (here he pointed toward whatprobably was a photographer's roof-light)--that place where it's soshiny, is where God stays. "

Bless the child! The scene had suggested only elfindom to ME, and yet Iprided myself on my quick sense of artistic effects. 

"An' over there where that awful bright LITTLE speck is, " continuedBudge, "that's where dear little brother Phillie is; whenever I lookover there, I see him putting his hand out. "

"Dee 'ittle Phillie went to s'eep in a box and the Lord took him toheaven, " murmured Toddie, putting together all he had seen and heard ofdeath. Then he raised his voice, and exclaimed:--

"Ocken Hawwy, you know what Iz'he goin' do when I be's big man? Iz'hegoin' to have hosses and tarridge, an' Iz'he goin' to wide over all zechees an' all ze houses, an' all ze world an' evvyfing. An' whole lotsof little birdies is comin' in my tarridge an' sing songs to me, an'you can come too if you want to, an' we'll have ICE-cream an''trawberries, an' see 'ittle fishes swimmin' down in ze water, an'we'll get a g'eat big house that's all p'itty on the outshide an' allp'itty on the inshide, and it'll all be ours and we'll do just evvyfingwe want to. "

"Toddy, you're an idealist. "

"AIN'T a 'dealisht. "

"Toddy's a goosey-gander, " remarked Budge, with great gravity. "UncleHarry, do you think heaven's as nice as that place over there?"

"Yes, Budge, a great deal nicer. "

"Then why don't we die an' go there? I don't want to go on livin'forever an' ever. I don't see why we don't die right away; I thinkwe've lived enough of days. "

"The Lord wants us to live until we get good and strong and smart, anddo a great deal of good before we die, old fellow--that's why we don'tdie right away. "

"Well, I want to see dear little Phillie, an' if the Lord won't let himcome down here, I think he might let me die an' go to heaven. LittlePhillie always laughed when I jumped for him. Uncle Harry, angels haswings, don't they?"

"Some people think they have, old boy. "

"Well, I know they DON'T, cos if Phillie had wings, I know he'd flyright down here an' see me. So they don't. "

"But maybe he has to go somewhere else, Budge, or maybe he comes andyou can't see him. We can't see angels with OUR eyes, you know. "

"Then what made the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace see one? Theireyes was just like ours, wasn't they? I don't care; I want to see dearlittle Phillie AWFUL much. Uncle Harry, if I went to heaven, do youknow what I'd do?"

"What WOULD you do, Budge?"

"Why, after I saw little Phillie, I'd go right up to the Lord an' givehim a great big hug. "

"What for, Budge?"

"Oh, cos he lets us have nice times, an' gave me my mama an' papa, an'Phillie--but he took him away again--an' Toddie, but Toddie's adreadful bad boy sometimes, though. "

"Very true, Budge, " said I, remembering my trunk and the object of myride. 

"Uncle Harry, did you ever see the Lord?"

"No, Budge; he has been very close to me a good many times, but I neversaw him. "

"Well, _I_ have; I see him every time I look up in the sky, and thereain't nobody 'with me. "

The driver crossed himself and whispered, "He's foriver a-sayin' that, an' be the powers, I belave him. Sometimes ye'd think that the howlysaints thimselves was a-sphak-in' whin that bye gits to goin' on thatway. " It WAS wonderful. Budge's countenance seemed too pure to be ofthe earth as he continued to express his ideas of the better land andits denizens. As for Toddie, his tongue was going incessantly, althoughin a tone scarcely audible; but when I chanced to catch hisexpressions, they were so droll and fanciful, that I took him upon mylap that I might hear him more distinctly. I even detected myself inthe act of examining the mental draft of my proposed letter to Helen, and of being ashamed of it. But neither Toddie's fancy nor Budge'sspirituality caused me to forget the principal object of my ride. Ifound a locksmith and left the lock to be fitted with a key; then wedrove to the Falls. Both boys discharged volleys of questions as westood by the gorge, and the fact that the roar of the falling waterprevented me from hearing them did not cause them to relax theirefforts in the least. I walked to the hotel for a cigar, taking thechildren with me. I certainly spent no more than three minutes inselecting and lighting a cigar, and asking the barkeeper a fewquestions about the Falls; but when I turned, the children weremissing, nor could I see them in any direction. Suddenly before my eyesarose from the nearer brink of the gorge two yellowish disks, which Irecognized as the hats of my nephews; then I saw between the disks andme two small figures lying upon the ground. I was afraid to shout, forfear of scaring them, if they happened to hear me, I bounded across thegrass, industriously raving and praying by turns. They were lying ontheir stomachs and looking over the edge of the cliff. I approachedthem on tip-toe, threw myself upon the ground, and grasped a foot ofeach child. 

"Oh, Uncle Harry!" screamed Budge in my ear, as I dragged him close tome, kissing and shaking him alternately, "I hunged over more thanToddie did. "

"Well, I--I--I--I--I--I--I hunged over a good deal, ANY how, " saidToddie, in self-defense. 

That afternoon I devoted to making a bouquet for Miss Mayton, and amost delightful occupation I found it. It was no florist's bouquet, composed of only a few kinds of flowers, wired upon sticks, andarranged according to geometric pattern. I used many a rare flower, tooshy of bloom to recommend itself to florists; I combined tints almostas numerous as the flowers were, and perfumes to which city bouquetsare utter strangers. Arranging flowers is a favorite pastime of mine, but upon this particular occasion I enjoyed my work more than I hadever done before. Not that I was in love with Miss Mayton; a man mayhonestly and strongly admire a handsome, brilliant woman without beingin love with her; he can delight himself in trying to give herpleasure, without feeling it necessary that she shall give him herselfin return. Since I arrived at years of discretion, I have always smiledsarcastically at the mention of the generosity of men who were in love;they have seemed to me rather to be asking an immense price for whatthey offered. I had no such feeling toward Miss Mayton. There have beenheathens who have offered gifts to goddesses out of pure adoration andwithout any idea of ever having the exclusive companionship of theirfavorite divinities. I never offered Miss Mayton any attention whichdid not put me into closer sympathy with these same great-souled oldPagans, and with such Christians as follow their good example. Witheach new grace my bouquet took on, my pleasure and satisfactionincreased at the thought of how SHE would enjoy the completed evidenceof my taste. 

At length it was finished, but my delight suddenly became clouded bythe dreadful thought, "What will folks say?" Had we been in New Yorkinstead of Hillcrest, no one but the florist, his messenger, the ladyand myself would know if I sent a bouquet to Miss Mayton; but inHillcrest, with its several hundred native-born gossips and itsacquaintance of everybody with everybody else and their affairs, Ifeared talk. Upon the discretion of Mike, the coachman, I could safelyrely; I had already confidentially conveyed sundry bits of fractionalcurrency to him, and informed him of one of the parties at our storewhose family Mike had known in Old Erin; but every one knew where Mikewas employed; every one knew--mysterious, unseen and swift are the waysof communication in the country!--that I was the only gentleman atpresent residing at Colonel Lawrence's. Ah!--I had it. I had seen inone of the library-drawers a small pasteboard box, shaped like aband-box--doubtless THAT would hold it. I found the box--it was of justthe size I needed. I dropped my card into the bottom, --no danger of alady not finding the card accompanying a gift of flowers, --neatlyfitted the bouquet in the center of the box, and went in search ofMike. He winked cheeringly as I explained the nature of his errand, andhe whispered:--

"I'll do it as clane as a whistle, yer honor. Mistress Clarkson's cookan' mesilf understhand each other, an' I'm used to goin' up the backway. Dhivil a man can see but the angels, an' they won't tell. "

"Very well, Mike; here's a dollar for you; you'll find the box on thehat-rack in the hall. "

Half an hour later, while I sat in my chamber window, reading, I beheldMike, cleanly shaved, dressed and brushed, swinging up the road, withmy box balanced on one of his enormous hands. With a head full ofpleasing fancies, I went down to supper. My new friends were unusuallygood. Their ride seemed to have toned down their boisterousness andelevated their little souls; their appetites exhibited no diminution offorce, but they talked but little, and all that they said was smart, funny, or startling--so much so that when, after supper, they invitedme to put them to bed, I gladly accepted the invitation. Toddiedisappeared somewhere, and came back very disconsolate. 

"Can't find my dolly's k'adle, " he whined. 

"Never mind, old pet, " said I, soothingly. "Uncle will ride you on hisfoot. "

"But I WANT my dolly's k'adle, " said he, piteously rolling out hislower lip. 

I remembered my experience when Toddie wanted to "shee wheels gowound, " and I trembled. 

"Toddie, " said I, in a tone so persuasive that it would be worththousands a year to me, as a salesman, if I could only command it atwill; "Toddie, don't you want to ride on uncle's back?"

"No: want my dolly's k'adle. "

"Don't you want me to tell you a story?"

For a moment Toddie's face indicated a terrible internal conflictbetween old Adam and mother Eve, but curiosity finally overpowerednatural depravity, and Toddie murmured:--

"Yesh. "

"What shall I tell you about?"

"'Bout Nawndeark. "

"About WHAT?"

"He means Noah an' the ark, " exclaimed Budge. 

"Datsh what _I_ shay--Nawndeark, " declared Toddie. 

"Well, " said I, hastily refreshing my memory by picking up theBible, --for Helen, like most people, is pretty sure to forget to packher Bible when she runs away from home for a few days, --"well, once itrained forty days and nights, and everybody was drowned from the faceof the earth excepting Noah, a righteous man, who was saved, with allhis family, in an ark which the Lord commanded him to build. "

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, after contemplating me with open eyes andmouth for at least two minutes after I had finished, "do you thinkthat's Noah?"

"Certainly, Budge; here's the whole story in the Bible. "

"Well, _I_ don't think it's Noah one single bit, " said he, withincreasing emphasis. 

"I'm beginning to think we read different Bibles, Budge; but let's hearYOUR version. "

"Huh?"

"Tell ME about Noah, if you know so much about him. "

"I will, if you want me to. Once the Lord felt so uncomfortable cosfolks was bad that he was sorry he ever made anybody, or any world oranything. But Noah wasn't bad--the Lord liked him first-rate, so hetold Noah to build a big ark, and then the Lord would make it rain soeverybody should be drownded but Noah an' his little boys an' girls, an' doggies an' pussies an' mama-cows an' little-boy-cows an'little-girl-cows an' hosses an' everything--they'd go in the ark an'wouldn't get wetted a bit, when it rained. An' Noah took lots of thingsto eat in the ark--cookies, an' milk, an' oatmeal, an' strawberries, an' porgies, an'--oh, yes; an' plum-puddin's an' pumpkin-pies. But Noahdidn't want everybody to get drownded, so he talked to folks an' said, 'It's goin' to rain AWFUL pretty soon; you'd better be good, an' thenthe Lord'll let you come into my ark. ' An' they jus' said, 'Oh, if itrains we'll go in the house till it stops;' an' other folks said, 'WEain't afraid of rain--we've got an umbrella. ' An' some more said, theywasn't goin' to be afraid of just a rain. But it DID rain though, an'folks went in their houses, an' the water came in, an' they wentup-stairs, an' the water came up there, an' they got on the tops of thehouses, an' up in big trees, an' up in mountains, an' the water wentafter 'em everywhere an' drownded everybody, only just except Noah andthe people in the ark. An' it rained forty days an' nights, an' then itstopped, an' Noah got out of the ark, an' he and his little boys an'girls went wherever they wanted to, and everything in the world was alltheirs; there wasn't anybody to tell 'em to go home, nor noKindergarten schools to go to, nor no bad boys to fight 'em, nornothin'. Now tell us 'nother story. "

I determined that I would not again attempt to repeat portions of theScripture narrative--my experience in that direction had not beenencouraging. I ventured upon a war story. 

"Do you know what the war was?" I asked, by way of reconnoissance. 

"Oh, yes, " said Budge; "papa was there, an' he's got a sword; don't yousee it, hangin' up there?"

Yes, I saw it, and the difference between the terrible field where lastI saw Tom's sword in action, and this quiet room where it now hung, forced me into a reverie from which I was aroused by Budge remarking:--

"Ain't you goin' to tell us one?"

"Oh, yes, Budge. One day while the war was going on, there was a wholelot of soldiers going along a road, and they were as hungry as theycould be; they hadn't had anything to eat that day. "

"Why didn't they go into the houses, and the people they was hungry?That's what _I_ do when I goes along roads. "

"Because the people in that country didn't like them; the brothers andpapas and husbands of those people were soldiers, too; but they didn'tlike the soldiers I told you about first, and they wanted to kill them. "

"I don't think they were a bit nice, " said Budge, with considerabledecision. 

"Well, the first soldiers wanted to kill THEM, Budge. "

"Then they was ALL bad, to want to kill each other. "

"Oh, no, they weren't; there were a great many real good men on bothsides. "

Poor Budge looked sadly puzzled, as he had an excellent right to do, since the wisest and best men are sorely perplexed by the nature ofwarlike feeling. 

"Both parties of soldiers were on horseback, " I continued, "and theywere near each other, and when they saw each other they made theirhorses run fast, and the bugles blew, and the soldiers all took theirswords out to kill each other with, when just then a little boy, whohad been out in the woods to pick berries for his mama, tried to runacross the road, and caught his toe some way, and fell down, and cried. Then somebody hallooed 'Halt!' very loud, and all the horses on oneside stopped, and then somebody else hallooed 'Halt!' and a lot ofbugles blew, and every horse on the other; side stopped, and onesoldier jumped off his horse, and picked up the little boy--he was onlyabout as big as you, Budge--and tried to comfort him; and then asoldier from the other side came up to look at him, and then moresoldiers came from both sides to look at him; and when he got betterand walked home, the soldiers all rode away, because they didn't feellike fighting just then. "

"Oh, Uncle Harry! I think it was an AWFUL good soldier that got off hishorse to take care of that poor little boy. "

"Do you, Budge? Who do you think it was?"

"I dunno. "

"It was your papa. "

"Oh--h--h--h--h!" If Tom could have but seen the expression upon hisboy's face as he prolonged this exclamation, his loss of one of thegrandest chances a cavalry officer ever had would not have seemed sogreat to him as it had done for years. He seemed to take in the storyin all its bearings, and his great eyes grew in depth as they took onthe far-away look which seemed too earnest for the strength of anearthly being to support. 

But Toddie, --he who a fond mama thought endowed with art sense, --Toddiehad throughout my recital the air of a man who was musing on someaffair of his own, and Budge's exclamation had hardly died away, whenToddie commenced to wave aloud an extravaganza wholly his own. 

"When _I_ was a soldier, " he remarked, very gravely, "I had a coat an'a hat on, an' a muff an' a little knake [Footnote: Snake: tippet. ]wound my neck to keep me warm, an' it wained, an' hailed, an' 'tormed, an' I felt bad, so I whallowed a sword an' burned me all down dead. "

"And how did you get here?" I asked, with interest proportioned to theimportance of Toddie's last clause. 

"Oh, I got up from the burn-down dead, an' COMED right here. An' I wantmy dolly's k'adle. "

Oh persistent little dragon! If you were of age, what a fortune youmight make in business!

"Uncle Harry, I wish my papa would come home right away, " said Budge. 

"Why, Budge?"

"I want to love him for bein' so good to that poor little boy in thewar. "

"Ocken Hawwy, I wants my dolly's k'adle, tause my dolly's in it, an' Iwant to shee her;" thus spake Toddie. 

"Don't you think the Lord loved my papa awful much for doin' that sweetthing, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. 

"Yes, old fellow, I feel sure that he did. "

"Lord lovesh my papa vewy much, so I love ze Lord vewy much, " remarkedToddie. "An' I wants my dolly's k'adle an' my dolly. "

"Toddie, I don't know where either of them are--I can't find themnow--DO wait until morning, then Uncle Harry will look for them. "

"I don't see how the Lord can get along in heaven without my papa, Uncle Harry, " said Budge. 

"Lord takesh papa to heaven, an' Budgie an' me, an' we'll go walkin'an' see ze Lord, an' play wif ze angels' wings, an' hazh good timsh, an' never have to go to bed at all, at all. "

Pure hearted little innocents! compared with older people whom weendure, how great thy faith and how few thy faults! How superior thylove--

A knock at the door interrupted me. "Come in!" I shouted. 

In stepped Mike, with an air of the greatest secrecy, handed me aletter and the identical box in which I had sent the flowers to MissMayton. What COULD it mean? I hastily opened the envelope, and at thesame time Toddie shrieked:--

"Oh, darsh my dolly's k'adle--dare 'tish!" snatched and opened the box, and displayed--his doll! My heart sickened, and did NOT regain itsstrength during the perusal of the following note:--

"Miss Mayton herewith returns to Mr. Burton the package which justarrived, with his card. She recognizes the contents as a portion of theapparent property of one of Burton's nephews, but is unable tounderstand why it should have been sent to her. "June 20, 1875. "

"Toddie, " I roared, as my younger nephew caressed his loathsome doll, and murmured endearing words to it, "where did you get that box?"

"On the hat-wack, " replied the youth, with perfect fearlessness; "Ikeeps it in ze book-case djawer, an' somebody took it 'way an' putnasty ole flowers in it. "

"Where are those flowers?" I demanded. 

Toddie looked up with considerable surprise but promptly replied:--

"I froed 'em away--don't want no ole flowers in my dolly's k'adle. That's ze way she wocks--see!" And this horrible little destroyer ofhuman hopes rolled that box back and forth with the most utterunconcern, as he spoke endearing words to the substitute for mybeautiful bouquet!

To say that I looked at Toddie reprovingly is to express my feelings inthe most inadequate language, but of language in which to express myfeelings to Toddie. I could find absolutely none. Within two or threeshort moments I had discovered how very anxious I really was to meritMiss Mayton's regard, and how very different was the regard I wantedfrom that which I had previously hoped might be accorded me. It seemedtoo ridiculous to be true that I, who had for years had dozens ofcharming lady acquaintances, and yet had always maintained my commonsense and self-control; I, who had always considered it unmanly for aman to specially interest himself in ANY lady until he had an income offive thousand a year; I who had skilfully, and many times, argued, thatlife-attachments, or attempts thereat, which were made without acareful preliminary study of the mental characteristics of the partnerdesired, was the most unpardonable folly, --I had transgressed every oneof my own rules, and, as if to mock me for any pretended wisdom andcare, my weakness was made known to me by a three-year-old marplot anda hideous rag-doll!

That merciful and ennobling dispensation by which Providence enables usto temper the severity of our own sufferings by alleviating those ofothers, came soon to my rescue. Under my stern glance Toddie graduallylost interest in his doll and its cradle, and began to thrust forth andoutward his piteous lower lip and to weep copiously. 

"Dee Lord, not make me sho bad, " he cried through his tears. I doubthis having had any very clear idea of what he was saying, or whom hewas addressing; but had the publican of whose prayer Toddie made sofair a paraphrase worn such a face when he offered his famous petition, it could not have been denied for a moment. Toddie even retired to acorner and hid his face in self-imposed penance. 

"Never mind, Toddie, " said I, sadly; "you didn't mean to do it, I know. "

"I wantsh to love you, " sobbed Toddie. 

"Well, come here, you poor little fellow, " said I, opening my arms, andwondering whether 'twas not after contemplation of some such sinnerthat good Bishop Tegner wrote:--

"Depths of love are atonement's depths, for love is atonement"

Toddie came to my arms, shed tears freely upon my shirt-front, andfinally, after heaving a very long sigh, remarked:--

"Wantsh YOU to love ME"

I complied with his request. Theoretically, I had long believed thatthe higher wisdom of the Creator was most frequently expressed throughthe medium of his most innocent creations. Surely here was aconfirmation of my theory, for who else had ever practically taught methe duty of the injured one toward his offender? I kissed Toddie andpetted him, and at length succeeded in quieting him; his little face, in spite of much dirt and many tear-stains, was upturned with more ofbeauty in it than it ever held when its owner was full of joy; helooked earnestly, confidingly, into my eyes, and I congratulated myselfupon the perfection of my forgiving spirit, when Toddie suddenlyre-exhibited to me my old unregenerate nature, and the incompletenessof my forgiveness, by saying:--

"Kish my dolly, too. "

I obeyed. My forgiveness was made complete, but so was my humiliation. I abruptly closed our interview. We exchanged "God bless you's, "according to Budge's instructions of the previous night, and at leastone of the participants in this devotional exercise hoped the petitionsmade by the other were distinctly heard. Then I dropped into aneasy-chair in the library, and fell to thinking. I found myself reallyand seriously troubled by the results of Toddie's operation with mybouquet. I might explain the matter to Miss Mayton--I undoubtedlycould, for she was too sensible a woman to be easily offended merely bya ridiculous mistake, caused by a child. But she would laugh at ME--howcould she help it?--and to be laughed at by Miss Mayton was a somethingthe mere thought of which tormented me in a manner that made me fairlyashamed of myself. Like every other young man among young men, I hadbeen the butt of many a rough joke, and had borne them without wincing;it seemed cowardly and contemptible that I should be so sensitive underthe mere thought of laughter which would probably be heard by no onebut Miss Mayton herself. But the laughter of a mere acquaintance islikely to lessen respect for the person laughed at. Heavens! thethought was unendurable! At any rate, I must write an early apology. When I was correspondent for the house with which I am now salesman Ireclaimed many an old customer who had wandered off--certainly I mighthope by a well-written letter to regain in Miss Mayton's respectwhatever position I had lost. I hastily drafted a letter, corrected itcarefully, copied it in due form, and forwarded it by the faithfulMichael. Then I tried to read, but without the least success. For hoursI paced the piazza and consumed cigars; when at last I retired it waswith many ideas, hopes, fears, and fancies which had never before beenmine. True to my trust, I looked into my nephews' room; there lay theboys, in postures more graceful than any which brush or chisel haveever reproduced. Toddie, in particular, wore so lovely an expressionthat I could not refrain from kissing him. But I was none the lesscareful to make use of my new key, and to lock my other door also. 

The next day was the Sabbath. Believing fully in the binding force andworldly wisdom of the Fourth Commandment, so far as it refers to rest, I have conscientiously trained myself to sleep two hours later on themorning of the holy day than I ever allowed myself to do on businessdays. But having inherited, besides a New England conscience, a NewEngland abhorrence of waste, I regularly sit up two hours later onSaturday nights than on any others; and the night preceding thisparticular Sabbath was no exception to the rule, as the reader mayimagine from the foregoing recital. At about 5. 30 A. M. , however, Ibecame conscious that my nephews were not in accord, with me on theSinaitic law. They were not only awake, but were disputing vigorously, and, seemingly, very loudly, for I heard their words very distinctly. With sleepy condescension I endeavored to ignore these noisyirreverents, but I was suddenly moved to a belief in the doctrine ofvicarious atonement, for a flying body, with more momentum than weight, struck me upon the not prominent bridge of my nose, and speedily andwith unnecessary force accommodated itself to the outline of my eyes. After a moment spent in anguish, and in wondering how the missive camethrough closed doors and windows, I discovered that my pain had beencaused by one of the dolls, which, from its extreme uncleanness, Isuspected belonged to Toddie; I also discovered that the door betweenthe rooms was open. 

"Who threw that doll?" I shouted, sternly. There came no response. 

"Do you hear?" I roared. 

"What is it, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge, with most exquisitely politeinflection. 

"Who threw that doll?"

"Huh?"

"I say, who threw that doll?"

"Why, nobody did it. "

"Toddie, who threw that doll?"

"Budge did, " replied Toddie in muffled tones, suggestive of a brotherlyhand laid forcibly over a pair of small lips. 

"Budge, what did you do it for?"

"Why--why--I--because--why, you see--because, why, Toddie froo hisdolly in my mouth; some of her hair went in, any how, an' I didn't wanthis dolly in my mouth, so I sent it back to him, an' the foot of thebed didn't stick up enough, so it went from the door to yourbed--that's what for. "

The explanation seemed to bear marks of genuineness, albiet the pain ofmy eye was not alleviated thereby, while the exertion expended ineliciting the information had so thoroughly awakened me that furthersleep was out of the question. Besides, the open door, --had a burglarbeen in the room? No; my watch and pocketbook were undisturbed. "Budge, who opened that door?"

After some hesitation, as if wondering who really did it, Budgereplied:--

"Me. "

"How did you do it?"

"Why, you see we wanted a drink, an' the door was fast, so we got outthe window on the parazzo roof, an' comed in your window. " (Here aslight pause. ) "An' 'twas fun. An' then we unlocked the door, an' comedback. "

Then I should be compelled to lock my window-blinds--or theirs, andthis in the summer season, too! Oh, if Helen could have but passed thehouse as that white-robed procession had filed along the piazza-roof! Ilay pondering over the vast amount of unused ingenuity that was lockedup in millions of children, or employed only to work misery amongunsuspecting adults, when I heard light footfalls at my bedside, andsaw a small shape with a grave face approach and remark:--

"I wants to come in your bed. "

"What for, Toddie?"

"To fwolic; papa always fwolics us Sunday mornin's. Tum, Budgie, OckenHawwy's doin' to fwolic us. "

Budge replied by shrieking with delight, tumbling out of bed, andhurrying to that side of my bed not already occupied by Toddie. Thenthose two little savages sounded the onslaught and advancedprecipitately upon me. Sometimes, during the course of my life, I havehad day-dreams which I have told to no one. Among these has beenone--not now so distinct as it was before my four years ofcampaigning--of one day meeting in deadly combat the painted Indian ofthe plains; of listening undismayed to his frightful war-whoop, and ofexemplifying in my own person the inevitable result of the pale-face'ssuperior intelligence. But upon this particular Sunday morning Irelinquished this idea informally, but forever. Before the advance ofthese diminutive warriors I quailed contemptibly, and their battle-crysent more terror to my soul than that member ever experienced from thewell-remembered rebel yell. According to Toddie, I was going to"fwolic" THEM; but from the first they took the whole business intotheir own little but effective hands. Toddie pronounced my knees, collectively a-horsie "bonnie, " and bestrode them, laughing gleefullyat my efforts to unseat him, and holding himself in position by digginghis pudgy fingers into whatever portions of my anatomy he could mosteasily seize. Budge shouted, "I want a horsie, too!" and seated himselfupon my chest. "This is the way the horsie goes, " explained he, as heslowly rocked himself backward and forward. I began to realize how mybrother-in-law, who had once been a fine gymnast, had become soflat-chested. Just then Budge's face assumed a more spiritedexpression, his eyes opened wide and lightened up, and, shouting, "Thisthe way the horsie TROTS, " he stood upright, threw up his feet, anddropped his forty-three avoirdupois pounds forcibly upon my lungs. Herepeated this operation several times before I fully recovered from theshock conveyed by his combined impudence and weight; but pain finallybrought my senses back, and with a wild plunge I unseated my demoniacriders and gained a clear space in the middle of the floor. 

"Ah--h--h--h--h--h--h, " screamed Toddie, "I wants to wide horshiebacken. "

"Boo--oo--oo--oo--, " roared Budge, "I think you're real mean. I don'tlove you at all. "

Regardless alike of Toddie's desires, of Budge's opinion, and thecessation of his regard, I performed a hasty toilet. Notnwithstandingmy lost rest, savagely thanked the Lord for Sunday; at church, atleast, I could be free from my tormentors. At the breakfast-table bothboys invited themselves to accompany me to the sanctuary, but Ideclined without thanks. To take them might be to assist somewhat inteaching them one of the best of habits, but I strongly doubted whetherthe severest Providence would consider it my duty to endure theprobable consequences of such an attempt. Besides I MIGHT meet MissMayton. I both hoped and feared I might, and I could not, endure thethought of appearing before her with the causes of my pleasantREMEMBRANCE. Budge protested and Toddie wept, but I remained firm, although I was so willing to gratify their reasonable desires that Itook them out for a long ante-service walk. While enjoying this littletrip I delighted the children by killing a snake and spoiling a slendercane at the same time, my own sole consolation coming from thediscovery that the remains of the staff were sufficient to make a canefor Budge. While returning to the house and preparing for church Ientered into a solemn agreement with Budge, who was usually recognizedas the head of this fraternal partnership. Budge contracted, forhimself and brother, to make no attempts to enter my room; to refrainfrom fighting; to raise loose dirt only with a shovel, and to convey itto its destination by means other than their own hats and aprons; topick no flowers; to open no water-faucets; to refer all disagreementsto the cook, as arbitrator, and to build no houses of the new bookswhich I had stacked upon the library table. In consideration of thepromised faithful observance of these conditions I agreed that Budgeshould be allowed to come alone to Sabbath school, which conveneddirectly after morning service, he to start only after Maggie hadpronounced him duly cleansed and clothed. As Toddie was daily kept inbed from eleven to one, I felt that I might safely worship withoutdistracting fears, for Budge could not alone, and in a single hour, become guilty of any particular sin. The church at Hillcrest had manymore seats than members, and as but few summer visitors had yetappeared in the town, I was conscious of being industriously stared atby the native members of the congregation. This was of itselfdiscomfort enough, but not all to which I was destined, for the usherconducted me quite near to the altar, and showed me into a pew whoseonly other occupant was Miss Mayton! Of course the lady did notrecognize me--she was too carefully bred to do anything of the sort inchurch, and I spent ten uncomfortable minutes in mentally abusing thecustoms of good society. The beginning of the service partially endedmy uneasiness, for I had no hymn-book, --the pew contained none, --soMiss Mayton kindly offered me a share in her own. And yet sofaultlessly perfect and stranger-like was her manner that I wonderedwhether her action might not have been prompted merely by a sense ofChristian duty; had I been the Khan of Tartary she could not have beenmore polite and frigid. The music to the first hymn was an air I hadnever heard before, so I stumbled miserably through the tenor, althoughMiss Mayton rendered the soprano without a single false note. Thesermon was longer than I was in the habit of listening to, and I wasfrequently conscious of not listening at all. As for my position andappearance, neither ever seemed so insignificant as they did throughoutthe entire service. 

The minister reached "And finally, dear brethren, " with my earnestprayers for a successful and speedy finale. It seemed to me that thecongregation sympathized with me, for there was a general rustle behindme as these words were spoken. It soon became evident, however, thatthe hearers were moved by some other feeling, for I heard a profoundtitter or two behind me. Even Miss Mayton turned her head with morealacrity than was consistent with that grace which usuallycharacterized her motions, and the minister himself made a pause ofunusual length. I turned in my seat, and saw my nephew Budge, dressedin his best, his head irreverently covered, and his new cane swingingin the most stylish manner. He paused at each pew, carefully surveyedits occupants, seemed to fail in finding the object of his search, butcontinued his efforts in spite of my endeavors to catch his eye. Finally, he recognized a family acquaintance, and to him he unburdenedhis bosom by remarking, in tones easily heard throughout the church:--

"I want to find my uncle. "

Just then he caught my eye, smiled rapturously, hurried to me and laidhis rascally soft cheek confidingly against mine, while an audiblesensation pervaded the church. What to do or say to him I scarcelyknew; but my quandary was turned to wonder, as Miss Mayton, her facefull of ill-repressed mirth, but her eyes full of tenderness, drew thelittle scamp close to her, and Mssed him soundly. At the same instant, the minister, not without some little hesitation, said, "Let us pray. "I hastily bowed my head, glad of a chance to hide my face; but as Istole a glance at the cause of this irreligious disturbance, I caughtMiss Mayton's eye. She was laughing so violently that the contagion wasunavoidable, and I laughed all the harder as I felt that onemischievous boy had undone the mischief caused by another. 

After the benediction, Budge was the recipient of a great deal ofattention, during the confusion of which I embraced the opportunity tosay to Miss Mayton:--

"Do you still sustain my sister in her opinion of my nephews, MissMayton?"

"I think they're too funny for anything, " replied the lady, with greatenthusiasm. "I DO wish you would bring them to call upon me. I'mlonging to see an ORIGINAL young gentleman. "

"Thank you, " said I. "And I'll have Toddie bring a bouquet by way ofatonement. "

"Do, " she replied, as I allowed her to pass from the pew. The word wasan insignificant one, but it made me happy once more. 

"You see, Uncle Harry, " exclaimed Budge, as we left the churchtogether, "the Sunday-school wasn't open yet, an' I wanted to hear ifthey'd sing again in church; so I came in, an' you wasn't in papa'sseat, an' I knew you was SOMEwhere, so I LOOKED for you. "

"Bless you, " thought I, snatching him into my arms as if to hurry himinto Sabbath school, but really to give him a kiss of gratefulaffection, "you did right--EXACTLY right. "

My Sunday dinner was unexceptional in point of quantity and quality, and a bottle of my brother-in-law's claret proved to be most excellent;yet a certain uneasiness of mind prevented my enjoying the meal asthoroughly as under other circumstances I might have done. Myuneasiness came of a mingled sense of responsibility and ignorance. Ifelt that it was the proper thing for me to see that my nephews spentthe day with some sense of the requirements and duties of the Sabbath;but how I was to bring it about, I hardly knew. The boys, were toosmall to have Bible-lessons administered to them, and they were toolively to be kept quiet by any ordinary means. After a great deal ofthought, I determined to consult the children themselves, and try tolearn what their parents' custom had been. 

"Budge, " said I, "what do you do Sundays when your papa and mama arehome? What do they read to you, --what do they talk about?"

"Oh, they swing us--lots!" said Budge, with brightening eyes. 

"An' zey takes us to get jacks, " observed Toddie. 

"Oh, yes!" exclaimed Budge; "jacks-in-the-pulpit--don't you know?"

"Hum--ye--es; I do remember some such thing in my youthful days. Theygrow where there's plenty of mud, don't they?"

"Yes, an' there's a brook there, an' ferns, an' birch-bark, an' if youdon't look out you'll tumble into the brook when you go to get birch. "

"An' we goes to Hawksnest Rock, " piped Toddie, "an' papa carries us upon his back when we gets tired. "

"An' he makes us whistles, " said Budge. 

"Budge, " said I, rather hastily, "enough. In the language of the poet

 "'These earthly pleasures I resign, '

and I'm rather astonished that your papa hasn't taught you to dolikewise. Don't he ever read to you?"

"Oh, yes, " cried Budge, clapping his hands, as a happy thought struckhim. "He gets down the Bible--the great BIG Bible, you know--an' we alllay on the floor, an' he reads us stories out of it. There's David, an'Noah, an' when Christ was a little boy, an' Joseph, an'turnbackPharo'sarmyhallelujah--"

"And what?"

"TurnbackPharo'sarmyhallelujah, " repeated Budge. "Don't you know howMoses held out his cane over the Red Sea, an' the water went way up oneside, an' way up the other side, and all the Isrulites went across?It's just the same thing as DROWNoldPharo'sarmyhallelujah--don't youknow?"

"Budge, " said I, "I suspect you of having heard the Jubilee Singers. "

"Oh, and papa and mama sings us all those Jubilee songs--there's 'SwingLow, ' an' 'Roll Jordan, ' an' 'Steal Away, ' an' 'My Way's Cloudy, ' an''Get on Board, Childuns, ' an' lots. An' you can sing us every one of'em. "

"An' papa takes us in the woods, an' makesh us canes, " said Toddie. 

"Yes, " said Budge, "and where there's new houses buildin', he takes usup ladders. "

"Has he any way of putting an extension on the afternoon?" I asked. 

"I don't know what that is, " said Budge, "but he puts an India-rubberblanket on the grass, and then we all lie down an' make b'lieve we'resoldiers asleep. Only sometimes when we wake up papa stays asleep, an'mama won't let us wake him. I don't think that's a very nice play. "

"Well, I think Bible stories are nicer than anything else, don't you?"

Budge seemed somewhat in doubt. "I think swingin' is nicer, " saidhe--"oh, no;--let's get some jacks--I'LL tell you what!--make uswhistles an' we can blow on 'em while we're goin' to get the jacks. Toddie, dear, wouldn't YOU like jacks and whistles?"

"Yesh--an' swingin'--an' birch--an' wantsh to go to Hawksnesh Rock, "answered Toddie. 

"Let's have Bible stories first, " said I. "The Lord mightn't like it ifyou didn't learn anything good to-day. "

"Well, " said Budge, with the regulation religious-matter-of-duty-face, "let's. I guess I like 'bout Joseph best. "

"Tell us 'bout Bliaff, " suggested Toddie. 

"Oh, no, Tod, " remonstrated Budge; "Joseph's coat was just as bloody asGoliath's head was. " Then Budge turned to me and explained that "allTod likes Goliath for is 'cause when his head was cut off it was allbloody. " And then Toddie--the airy sprite whom his mother described asbeing irresistibly drawn to whatever was beautiful--Toddie glared uponme as a butcher's apprentice might stare at a doomed lamb, andremarked:--

"Bliaff's head was all bluggy, an' David's sword was all bluggy--bluggyas everyfing. "

I hastily breathed a small prayer, opened the Bible, turned to thestory of Joseph, and audibly condensed it as I read:--

"Joseph was a good little boy whose papa loved him very dearly. But hisbrothers didn't like him. And they sold him, to go to Egypt. And he wasvery smart, and told the people what their dreams meant, and he got tobe a great man. And his brothers went to Egypt to buy corn, and Josephsold them some, and then he let them know who he was. And he sent themhome to bring their papa to Egypt, and then they all lived theretogether. "

"That ain't it, " remarked Toddie, with the air of a man who felthimself to be unjustly treated. "Is it, Budge?"

"Oh, no, " said Budge, "you didn't read it good a bit; I'LL tell you howit is. Once there was a little boy named Joseph, an' he had elevenbudders--they was AWFUL eleven budders. An' his papa gave him a newcoat, an' his budders hadn't nothin' but their old jackets to wear. An'one day he was carryin' 'em their dinner, an' they put him in a deep, dark hole, but they didn't put his nice new coat in--they killed a kid, an' dipped the coat--just think of doin' that to a nice new coat--theydipped it in the kid's blood, an' made it all bloody. "

"All bluggy, " echoed Toddie, with ferocious emphasis. Budge continued:--

"But there were some Ishmalites comin' along that way, and the awfuleleven budders took him out of the deep dark hole, an' sold him to theIshmalites, an' they sold him away down in Egypt. An' his poor old papacried, an' cried, 'cause he thought a big lion ate Joseph up; but hewasn't ate up a bit; but there wasn't no post-office nor choo-choos, [Footnote: railway cars] nor stages in Egypt, an' there wasn't anytelegraphs, so Joseph couldn't let his papa know where he was; an' hegot so smart an' so good that the king of Egypt let him sell all thecorn an' take care of the money; an' one day some men came to buy somecorn, an' Joseph looked at 'em an' there they was his own budders! An'he scared 'em like everything; I'D have SLAPPED 'em all if I'D beenJoseph, but he just scared 'em, an' then he let 'em know who he was, an' he kissed 'em an' he didn't whip 'em, or make 'em go without theirbreakfast, or stand in a corner, nor none of them things; an' then hesent 'em back for their papa, an' when he saw his papa comin', he ranlike everything, and gave him a great big hug and a kiss. Joseph wastoo big to ask his papa if he'd brought him any candy, but he was awfulglad to see him. An' the king gave Joseph's papa a nice farm, an' theyall had real good times after that. "

"And they dipped the coat in the blood; an' made it all bluggy, "reiterated Toddie. 

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, "what do you think MY papa would do if hethought I was all ate up by a lion? I guess he'd cry AWFUL, don't you?Now tell us another story--oh, I'LL tell you--read us 'bout--"

"'Bout Bliaff, " interrupted Toddie. 

"YOU tell ME about him, Toddie, " said I. 

"Why, " said Toddie, "Bliaff was a brate bid man, an' Dave was bratelittle man, an' Bliaff said, 'Come over here'n an' I'll eat you up, 'an' Dave said, '_I_ ain't fyaid of you. ' So Dave put five little stonesin a sling an' asked de Lord to help him, an' let ze sling go bang intobequeen Bliaff's eyes an' knocked him down dead, an' Dave took Bliaff'ssword an' sworded Bliaff's head off, an' made it all bluggy, an' Bliaffrunned away. " This short narration was accompanied by more spirited andunexpected gestures than Mr. Gough ever puts into a long lecture. 

"I don't like 'bout Goliath at all, " remarked Budge. "I'D like to hear'bout Ferus. "

"Who?"

"Ferus; don't you know?"

"Never heard of him, Budge. "

"Why--y--y--!" exclaimed Budge; "didn't you have no papa when you was alittle boy?"

"Yes, but he never told me about any one named Ferus; there's no suchperson named in Anthon's Classical Dictionary, either. What sort of aman was he?"

"Why, once there was a man, an' his name was Ferus--Offerus, an' hewent about fightin' for kings, but when any king got afraid of anybody, he wouldn't fight for him no more. An' one day he couldn't find nokings that wasn't afraid of nobody. An' the people told him the Lordwas the biggest king in the world, an' he wasn't afraid of nobody ornothing. An' he asked 'em where he could find the Lord, and they saidhe was way up in heaven so nobody couldn't see him but the angels, buthe liked folks to WORK for him instead of fight. So Ferus wanted toknow what kind of work he could do, an' the people said there was ariver not far off, where there wasn't no ferry-boats, cos the water runso fast, an' they guessed if he'd carry folks across, the Lord wouldlike it. So Ferus went there, and he cut him a good, strong cane, an'whenever anybody wanted to go across the river he'd carry 'em on hisback. 

"One night he was sittin' in his little house by the fire, and smokin'his pipe an' readin' the paper, an' 'twas rainin' an' blowin' an'hailin' an' stormin', an' he was so glad there wasn't anybody wantin'to go 'cross the river, when he heard somebody call out 'Ferus!' An' helooked out the window, but he couldn't see nobody, so he sat downagain. Then somebody called 'Ferus!' again, and he opened the dooragain, an' there was a little bit of a boy, 'bout as big as Toddie. An'Ferus said, 'Hullo, young fellow, does your mother know you're out?'An' the little boy said, 'I want to go 'cross the river. '--'Well, ' saysFerus, 'you're a mighty little fellow to be travelin' alone, but hopup. ' So the little boy jumped up on Ferus's back, and Ferus walked intothe water. Oh, my--WASN'T it cold? An' every step he took that littleboy got heavier, so Ferus nearly tumbled down an' they liked to bothgot drownded. An' when they got across the river Ferus said, 'Well, youARE the heaviest small fry I ever carried, ' an' he turned around tolook at him, an' 'twasn't no little boy at all--'twas a big man--'twasChrist. An' Christ said, 'Ferus, I heard you was tryin' to work for me, so I thought I'd come down an' see you, an' not let you know who I was. An' now you shall have a new name; you shall be called CHRISTofferus, cos that means Christ-carrier. ' An' everybody called him Christofferusafter that, an' when he died they called him SAINT Christopher, cosSaint is what they called good people when they're dead. "

Budge himself had the face of a rapt saint as he told this story, butmy contemplation of his countenance was suddenly arrested by Toddie, who, disapproving of the unexciting nature of his brother's recital, had strayed into the garden, investigated a hornet's nest, been stung, and set up a piercing shriek. He ran in to me, and as I hastily pickedhim up, he sobbed:--

"Want to be wocked. [Footnote: Rocked. ] Want 'Toddie one boy day. '"

I rocked him violently, and petted him tenderly, but again he sobbed:--

"Want 'Toddie one boy day. '"

"What DOES the child mean?" I exclaimed. 

"He wants you to sing to him about 'Charley boy one day, '" said Budge. "He always wants mamma to sing that when he's hurt, an' then he stopscrying. "

"I don't know it, " said I. "Won't 'Roll, Jordan, ' do, Toddie?"

"I'LL tell you how it goes, " said Budge, and forthwith the youth sangthe following song, a line at a time, I following him in words andair:--

 "Where is my little bastik [Footnote: Basket. ] gone?" Said Charley, one boy day; "I guess some little boy or girl Has taken it away. 

 "An' kittie, too--where ISH she gone? Oh dear, what shall I do? I wish I could my bastik find, An' little kittie, too. 

 "I'll go to mamma's room an' look; Perhaps she may be there; For kittie likes to take a nap In mamma's easy chair. 

 "O mamma, mamma, come an' look See what a little heap! Here's kittie in the bastik here, All cuddled down to sleep. "

Where the applicability of this poem to my nephew's peculiar troubleappeared, I could not see, but as I finished it, his sobs gave place toa sigh of relief. 

"Toddie, " said I, "do you love your Uncle Harry?"

"Esh, I DO love you. "

"Then tell me how that ridiculous song comforts you. "

"Makes me feel good, an' all nicey, " replied Toddie. 

"Wouldn't you feel just as good if I sang, 'Plunged in a gulf of darkdespair'?"

"No, don't like dokdishpairs; if a dokdishpair done anyfing to me, I'dknock it right down dead. "

With this extremely lucid remark, our conversation on this particularsubject ended; but I wondered, during a few uneasy moments, whether thetemporary mental aberration which had once afflicted Helen'sgrandfather and mine was not reappearing in this, his youngestdescendant. My wondering was cut short by Budge, who remarked, in aconfident tone:--

"Now, Uncle Harry, we'll have the whistles, I guess. "

I acted upon the suggestion, and led the way to the woods. I had nothad occasion to seek a hickory sapling before for years; not since thewar, in fact, when I learned how hot a fire small hickory sticks wouldmake. I had not sought wood for whistles since--gracious, nearly aquarter of a century ago! The dissimilar associations called up bythese recollections threatened to put me in a frame of mind which mighthave resulted in a bad poem, had not my nephews kept up a livelysuccession of questions such as no one but children can ask. Thewhistles completed, I was marched, with music, to the place where the"Jacks" grew. It was just such a place as boys instinctively delightin--low, damp, and boggy, with a brook hiding treacherously away underoverhanging ferns and grasses. The children knew by sight the plantwhich bore the "Jacks, " and every discovery was announced by a piercingshriek of delight. At first I looked hurriedly toward the brook as eachyell clove the air; but, as I became accustomed to it, my attention wasdiverted by some exquisite ferns. Suddenly, however, a succession ofshrieks announced that something was wrong, and across a large fern Isaw a small face in a great deal of agony. Budge was hurrying to therelief of his brother, and was soon as deeply imbedded as Toddie was inthe rich black mud, at the bottom of the brook. I dashed to the rescue, stood astride the brook, and offered a hand to each boy, when atreacherous tuft of grass gave way, and, with a glorious splash, I wentin myself. This accident turned Toddie's sorrow to laughter, but Ican't say I made light of my misfortune on that account. To fall intoCLEAN water is not pleasant, even when one is trout-fishing; but to beclad in white pants, and suddenly drop nearly knee-deep in the lap ofmother Earth is quite a different thing. I hastily picked up thechildren, and threw them upon the bank, and then wrathfully strode outmyself, and tried to shake myself as I have seen a Newfoundland dog do. The shake was not a success--it caused my trouser-leg to flap dismallyabout my ankles, and sent the streams of loathsome ooze trickling downinto my shoes. My hat, of drab felt, had fallen off by the brookside, and been plentifully spattered as I got out. I looked at my youngestnephew with speechless indignation. 

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, "'twas real good of the Lord to let you bewith us, else Toddie might have been drownded. "

"Yes, " said I, "and I shouldn't have much--"

"Ocken Hawwy, " cried Toddie, running impetuously toward me, pulling medown, and patting my cheek with his muddy black hand, "I LOVES you fortakin' me out de water. "

"I accept your apology, " said I, "but let's hurry home. " There was butone residence to pass, and that, thank fortune, was so densely screenedby shrubbery that the inmates could not see the road. To be sure, wewere on a favorite driving road, but we could reach home in fiveminutes, and we might dodge into the woods if we heard a carriagecoming. Ha! There came a carriage already, and we--was there ever asorrier-looking group? There were ladies in the carriage, too--could itbe--of course it was--did the evil spirit, which guided those childrenalways, send an attendant for Miss Mayton before he began operations?There she was, anyway--cool, neat, dainty, trying to look collected, but severely flushed by the attempt. It was of no use to drop my eyes, for she had already recognized me; so I turned to her a face which Ithink must have been just the one--unless more defiant--that I carriedinto two or three cavalry charges. 

"You seem to have been having a real good time together, " said she, with a conventional smile, as the carriage passed. "Remember, you'reall going to call on me tomorrow afternoon. "

Bless the girl! Her heart was as quick as her eyes--almost any otheryoung lady would have devoted her entire energy to laughing on such anoccasion, but SHE took her earliest opportunity to make me feel atease. Such a royal hearted woman deserves to--I caught myself justhere, with my cheeks growing quite hot under the mud Toddie had put onthem, and I led our retreat with a more stylish carriage than myappearance could possibly have warranted, and then I consigned mynephews to the maid with very much the air of an officer turning over alarge number of prisoners he had captured. I hastily changed my soiledclothing for my best--not that I expected to see any one, but becauseof a sudden increase in the degree of respect I felt toward myself. When the children were put to bed, and I had no one but my thoughts forcompanions, I spent a delightful hour or two in imagining as possiblesome changes of which I had never dared to think before. 

On Monday morning I was in the garden at sunrise. Toddie was to carryhis expiatory bouquet to Miss Mayton that day, and I proposed that nopains should be spared to make his atonement as handsome as possible. Icanvassed carefully every border, bed, and detached flowering plantuntil I had as accurate an idea of their possibilities as if I hadinventoried the flowers in pen and ink. This done, I consulted theservant as to the unsoiled clothing of my nephews. She laid out theirentire wardrobe for my inspection, and after a rigid examination ofeverything I selected the suits which the boys were to wear in theafternoon. Then I told the girl that the boys were going with me afterdinner to call on some ladies, and that I desired that she should washand dress them carefully. 

"Tell me just what time you'll start, sir, and I'll begin an hourbeforehand, " said she. "That's the only way to be sure that they don'tdisgrace you. "

For breakfast we had, among other things, some stewed oysters served insoup-plates. 

"O Todd, " shrieked Budge, "there's the turtle-plates again--oh, AIN'T Iglad!"

"Oo--ee--turtle pyates, " squealed Toddie. 

"What on earth do you mean, boys?" I demanded. 

"I'll show you, " said Budge, jumping down from his chair and bringinghis plate of oysters cautiously toward me. "Now you just put your headdown underneath my plate, and look up, and you'll see a turtle. "

For a moment I forgot that I was not at a restaurant, and I took theplate, held it up, and examined its bottom. 

"There!" said Budge, pointing to the trademark, in colors, of themakers of the crockery, "don't you see the turtle?"

I abruptly ordered Budge to his seat, unmoved even by Toddie's remark, that--

"Dey ish turtles, but dey can't knawl awound like udder turtles. "

After breakfast I devoted a great deal of fussy attention to myself. Never did my own wardrobe seem so meager and ill-assorted; never did Icut myself so many times while shaving; never did I use suchunsatisfactory shoe-polish. I finally gave up in despair my effort toappear genteel, and devoted myself to the bouquet. I cut almost flowersenough to dress a church, and then remorselessly excluded every onewhich was in the least particular imperfect. In making the bouquet Ienjoyed the benefit of my nephews' assistance and counsel and tookenforced part in conversation which flowers suggested. 

"Ocken Hawwy, " said Toddie, "ish heaven all like this, wif prettyf'owers? Cos I don't see what ze angels ever turns out for if 'tis. "

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, "when the leaves all go up and down andwriggle around so, are they talking to the wind?"

"I--I guess so, old fellow. "

"Who are you making that bouquet for, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. 

"For a lady--for Miss Mayton--that lady that saw us all muddy yesterdayafternoon, " said I. 

"Oh, I like her, " said Budge. "She looks so nice and pretty--just likea cake--just as if she was good to eat--Oh, I just love her, don't YOU?"

"Well, I respect her very highly, Budge. "

"'Spect? What does 'spect mean?"

"Why, it means that I think she's a lady--a real pleasant lady-just thenicest sort of lady in the world--the sort of person I'd like to seeevery day, and like to see her better than any one else. "

"Oh, why, 'spect an' love means just the same thing, don't they, UncleHar--"

"Budge, " I exclaimed, somewhat hastily "run ask Maggie for a piece ofstring--quick!"

"All right, " said Budge, moving off, "but they DO, don't they?"

At two o'clock I instructed Maggie to dress my nephews, and at three westarted to make our call. To carry Toddie's bouquet, and hold a hand ofeach boy so as to keep them from darting into the hedges forgrasshoppers, and the gutters for butterflies, was no easy work, but Imanaged to do it. As we approached Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house Ifelt my hat was over one ear, and my cravat awry, but there was noopportunity to rearrange them, for I saw Alice Mayton on the piazza, and felt that she saw me. Handing the bouquet to Toddie, and promisinghim three sticks of candy if he would be careful and not drop it, weentered the garden. The moment we were inside the hedge and Toddie sawa man going over the lawn with a lawn-mower, he shrieked: "Oh, deresh acutter-grass!" and dropped the bouquet with the carelessness born ofperfect ecstasy. I snatched it before it reached the ground, draggedthe offending youth up the walk, saluted Miss Mayton, and told Toddieto give the bouquet to the lady. This he succeeded in doing, but asMiss Mayton thanked him and stooped to kiss him he wriggled off thepiazza like a little eel, shouted, "Tum on!" to his brother, and amoment later my nephews were following the "cutter-grass" at arespectful distance in the rear. 

"Those are my sister's best children in the world, Miss Mayton, " said I. 

"Bless the little darlings!" replied the lady; "I DO love to seechildren enjoying themselves. "

"So do I, " said I, "when I'm not responsible for their well-being; butif the effort I've expended on those boys had been directed toward theinterests of my employers, those worthy gentlemen would consider meinvaluable. "

Miss Mayton made some witty reply, and we settled to a pleasant chatabout mutual acquaintances, about books, pictures, music, and thegossip of our set. I would cheerfully have discussed Herbert Spencer'ssystem, the Assyrian Tablets, or any other dry subject with MissMayton, and felt that I was richly repaid by the pleasure of seeingher. Handsome, intelligent, composed, tastefully dressed, without asuspicion of the flirt or the languid woman of fashion about her, sheawakened to the uttermost every admiring sentiment and every manlyfeeling. But, alas, my enjoyment was probably more than I deserved, soit was cut short. There were other ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson's, and as Miss Mayton truthfully observed at our first meeting, men werevery scarce at Hillcrest. So the ladies, by the merest accident, ofcourse, happened upon the piazza, and each one was presented to me, andcommon civility made it impossible for me to speak to Miss Mayton morethan once in ten minutes. At any other time and place I should havefound the meeting of so many ladies a delightful experience, but now--

Suddenly a compound shriek arose from the lawn, and all the ladiessprang to their feet. I followed their example, setting my teeth firmlyand viciously, hoping that whichever nephew had been hurt was BADLYhurt. We saw Toddie running towards us with one hand in his mouth, while Budge ran beside him, exclaiming:--

"POOR little Toddie! Don't cry! DOES it hurt you awful? Nevermind--Uncle Harry'll comfort you. Don't cry, Toddie DE-ar!"

Both boys reached the piazza steps, and clambered up, Budgeexclaiming:--

"O, Uncle Harry, Toddie put his fingers in the little wheels of thecutter-grass, an' it turned just the least little biddie, an' it hurtedhim. "

But Toddie ran up to me, clasped my legs, and sobbed. 

"Sing 'Toddie one boy day. '"

My blood seemed to freeze. I could have choked that dreadful child, suffering though he was. I stooped over him, caressed him, promised himcandy, took out my watch and gave it to him to play with, but hereturned to his original demand. A lady--the homeliest in theparty--suggested that she should bind up his hand, and I inwardlyblessed her, but he reiterated his request for "Toddie one boy day, "and sobbed pitifully. 

"What DOES he mean?" asked Miss Mayton. 

"He wants Uncle Harry to sing, 'Charley boy one day, '" explained Budge;"he always wants that song when he's hurt any way. "

"Oh, do sing it to him, Mr. Burton, " pleaded Miss Mayton; and all theother ladies exclaimed, "Oh, do!"

I wrathfully picked him up in my arms, and hummed the air of thedetested song. 

"Sit in a wockin'-chair, " sobbed Toddie. 

I obeyed; and then my tormentor remarked:--

"You don't sing the wydes (words), --I wants the wydes. "

I sang the words as softly as possible with my lips close to his ear, but he roared:--

"Sing louder. "

"I don't know any more of it, Toddie, " I exclaimed in desperation. 

"Oh, I'll tell it all to you, Uncle Harry, " said Budge. And there, before that audience, and HER, I was obliged to sing that dreadfuldoggerel, line for line, as Budge repeated it. My teeth were set tight, my brow grew clammy, and I gazed upon Toddie with terrible thoughts inmy mind. No one laughed--I grew so desperate that a titter would havegiven relief. At last I heard some one whisper:--

"SEE how he loves him! Poor man!--he's in perfect agony over the littlefellow. "

Had not the song reached its natural end just then, I believe I shouldhave tossed my wounded nephew over the piazza rail. As it was, I sethim upon his feet, announced the necessity of our departure, and beganto take leave, when Miss Mayton's mother insisted that we should stayto dinner. 

"For myself, I should be delighted, Mrs. Mayton, " said I; "but mynephews have hardly learned company manners yet. I'm afraid my sisterwouldn't forgive me if she heard I had taken them out to dinner. "

"Oh, I'll take care of the little dears, " said Miss Mayton; "they'll begood with ME, I KNOW. "

"I couldn't be so unkind as to let you try it, Miss Mayton, " I replied. But she insisted, and the pleasure of submitting to her will was sogreat that I would have risked even greater mischief. So Miss Maytonsat down to dinner with Budge upon one side and Toddie on the other, while I was fortunately placed opposite, from which position I couldindulge in warning winks and frowns. The soup was served. I signaledthe boys to tuck their napkins under their chins, and then turned tospeak to the lady on my right. She politely inclined her head towardme, but her thoughts seemed elsewhere; following her eyes, I beheld myyoungest nephew with his plate upraised in both hands, his head on thetable-cloth, and his eyes turned painfully upward. I dared not speak, for fear he would drop the plate. Suddenly he withdrew his head, put onan angelic smile, tilted his plate so part of its contents soughtrefuge in the fold of Miss Mayton's dainty, snowy dress, while theoffender screamed:--

"Oo--ee--!--zha turtle on my pyate!--Budgie, zha turtle on my pyate!"

Budge was about to raise the plate when he caught my eye and desisted. Poor Miss Mayton actually looked discomposed for the first time in herlife, so far as I knew or could imagine. She recovered quickly, however, and treated that wretched boy with the most Christianforbearance and consideration during the remainder of the meal. Whenthe dessert was finished she quickly excused herself, while I removedToddie to a secluded corner of the piazza, and favored him with alecture which caused him to howl pitifully, and compelled me to caresshim and undo all the good which my rebukes had done. Then he and Budgeremoved themselves to the lawn, while I awaited Miss Mayton'sreappearance, to offer an apology for Toddie, and to make our adieus. It was the custom of the ladies at Mrs. Clarkson's to stroll about thelovely rural walks after dinner and until twilight; and on thisparticular evening they departed in twos and threes, leaving me to makemy apology without witnesses. I was rather sorry they went; it was notpleasant to feel that I was principally responsible for my nephews'blunder, and to have no opportunity to allay my conscience-pangs byconversation. It seemed to me Miss Mayton was forever in appearing; Ieven called up my nephews to have some one to talk to. 

Suddenly she appeared, and in an instant I fervently blessed Toddie andthe soup which the child had sent upon its aimless wanderings. I wouldrather pay the price of a fine dress than try to describe Miss Mayton'sattire; I can only say that in style, color and ornament it became herperfectly, and set off the beauties of a face which I had never beforethought was more than pleasing and intelligent. Perhaps the anger whichwas excusable after Toddie's graceless caper had something to do withputting unusual color into her cheeks, and a brighter sparkle thanusual in her eyes. Whatever was the cause, she looked queenly, and Ihalf imagined that I detected in her face a gleam of satisfaction atthe involuntary start which her unexpected appearance caused me tomake. She accepted my apology for Toddie with queenly graciousness, andthen, instead of proposing that we should follow the other ladies, as amoment before I had hoped she would, she dropped into a chair. Iaccepted the invitation; the children should have been in bed half anhour before, but my sense of responsibility had departed when MissMayton appeared. The little scamps were safe until they should performsome new and unexpected act of impishness. They retired to one end ofthe piazza, and busied themselves in experiments upon a largeNewfoundland dog, while I, the happiest man alive, talked to theglorious woman before me, and enjoyed the spectacle of her radiantbeauty. The twilight came and deepened, but imagination prevented thevision from fading. With the coming of the darkness and the starlight, our voices unconsciously dropped to lower tones, and HER voice seemedpurest music. And yet we said nothing which all the world might nothave listened to without suspecting a secret. The ladies returned inlittle groups, but either out of womanly intuition or in answer to myunspoken but fervent prayers, passed us and went into the house. I wasaffected by an odd mixture of desperate courage and despicablecowardice. I determined to tell her all, yet I shrank from the taskwith more terror than ever befell me in the first steps of a charge. 

Suddenly a small shadow came from behind us and stood between us, andthe voice of Budge remarked:--

"Uncle Harry 'spects you, Miss Mayton. "

"Suspects me?--of what, pray?" exclaimed the lady, patting my nephew'scheek. 

"Budge!" said I--I feel that my voice rose nearly to a scream--"Budge, I must beg of you to respect the sanctity of confidentialcommunications. "

"What is it, Budge?" persisted Miss Mayton; "you know the old adage, Mr. Burton: 'Children and fools speak the truth. ' Of what does hesuspect me, Budge?"

"'Tain't SUS-pect at all, " said Budge, "it's es-pect. "

"Expect?" echoed Miss Mayton. 

"No, not 'ex, ' it's ES-spect. I know all about it, 'cause I asked him. Espect is what folks do when they think you're nice, and like to talkto you, and--"

"Respect is what the boy is trying to say, Miss Mayton, " I interrupted, to prevent what I feared might follow. "Budge has a terrifying facultyfor asking questions, and the result of some of them, this morning, wasmy endeavor to explain to him the nature of the respect in whichgentlemen hold ladies. "

"Yes, " continued Budge, "I know all about it. Only Uncle Harry don'tsay it right. What he calls espect _I_ calls LOVE. "

There was an awkward pause--it seemed an age. Another blunder, and allon account of those dreadful children. I could think of no possible wayto turn the conversation; stranger yet, Miss Mayton could not do soeither. Something MUST be done--I could at least be honest, come whatwould--I would be honest. 

"Miss Mayton, " said I, hastily, earnestly, but in a very low tone, "Budge is a marplot, but he is a truthful interpreter for all that. Butwhatever my fate may be, please do not suspect me of falling suddenlyinto love for a holiday's diversion. My malady is of some months'standing. I--"

"I want to talk SOME, " observed Budge. "You talk all the whole time. I--I--when _I_ loves anybody I kisses them. "

Miss Mayton gave a little start, and my thoughts followed each otherwith unimagined rapidity. SHE did not turn the conversation--it couldnot be possible that she COULD not. She was not angry, or she wouldhave expressed herself. Could it be that--

I bent over her and acted upon Budge's suggestion. As she displayed noresentment, I pressed my lips a second time to her forehead, then sheraised her head slightly, and I saw, in spite of darkness and shadows, that Alice Mayton had surrendered at discretion. Taking her hand andstraightening myself to my full height, I offered to the Lord merefervent thanks than he ever heard from me in church. Then I heard Budgesay, "_I_ wants to kiss you, too, " and I saw my glorious Alice snatchthe little scamp into her arms, and treat him with more affection thanI ever imagined was in her nature. Then she seized Toddie, and gave hima few tokens of forgiveness--I dare not think they were of gratitude. 

Suddenly two or three ladies came upon the piazza. 

"Come, boys, " said I. "Then I'll call with the carriage tomorrow atthree, Miss Mayton. Good evening. "

"Good evening, " replied the sweetest voice in the world; "I'll be readyat three. "

"Budge, " said I, as soon as we were fairly outside the hedge-gate, "what do you like better than anything else in the world?"

"Candy, " said Budge, very promptly. 

"What next?"

"Oranges. "

"What next?"

"Oh, figs, an' raisins, an' dear little kittie-kitties, an' drums, an'picture-books, an' little bakin' dishes to make mud-pies in, an'turtles, an' little wheelbarrows. "

"Anything else?"

"Oh, yes--great big black dogs--an' a goat, an' a wagon for him to drawme in. "

"Very well, old fellow--you shall have every one of those thingstomorrow. "

"Oh--h--h--h--h!" exclaimed Budge, "I guess you're something like theLord, ain't you?"

"What makes you think so, Budge?"

"Oh, 'cause you can do such lots of things at once. But ain't poorlittle Tod goin' to have noffin'?"

"Yes, everything he wants. What would you like, Toddie?"

"Wants a candy cigar, " replied Toddie. 

"What else?"

"Don't want NUFFIN' else--don't want to be boddered wif LOTS of fings. "

The thoughts which were mine that night--the sense of how glorious athing it is to be a man and be loved--the humility that comes with sucha victory as I had gained--the rapid alternation of happy thoughts andnoble resolutions--what man is there who does not know my whole storybetter than I can tell it? I put my nephews to bed; I told them everystory they asked for; and when Budge, in saying his prayers, said "an'bless that nice lady that Uncle Harry 'spects, " I interrupted hisdevotions with a hearty hug. The children had been awake so far beyondtheir usual hour for retiring that they dropped asleep without givingany special notice of their intention to do so. Asleep, their faceswere simply angelic. As I stood, candle in hand, gazing gratefully uponthem, I remembered a sadly neglected duty. I hurried to the library andwrote the following to my sister:

"HILLCREST, Monday Night. 

"DEAR HELEN:--I should have written you before had I been exactlycertain what to say about your boys. I confess that until now I havebeen blind to some of their virtues, and have imagined I detected anoccasional fault. But the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I seeclearly that my nephews are angels--positively angels. If I seem tospeak extravagantly, I beg to refer you to Alice Mayton for collateralevidence. Don't come home at all--everything is just as it shouldbe--even if you come, I guess I'll invite myself to spend the rest ofthe summer with you; I've changed my mind about its being a bore tolive out of town and take trains back and forth every day. Ask Tom tothink over such bits of real estate in your neighborhood as he imaginesI might like. 

"I repeat it, the boys are angels, and Alice Mayton is another, whilethe happiest man in the white goods trade is

"Your affectionate brother

"HARRY. "

Early next morning I sought the society of my nephews. It wasabsolutely necessary that I should overflow to SOME one--some one whowas sympathetic and innocent and pure. I longed for my sister--mymother, but to SOME one I must talk at once. Budge fulfilled myrequirements exactly; he was an excellent listener, very sympathetic bynature, and quick to respond. Not the wisdom of the most reverend sagealive could have been so grateful to my ear as that child's prattle wason that delightful morning. As for Toddie--blessed be the law ofcompensation! his faculty of repetition, and of echoing whatever heheard said, caused him to murmur "Miff Mayton, Miff Mayton, " allmorning long, and the sound gained in sweetness by its ceaselessiteration. To be sure, Budge took early and frequent occasions toremind me of my promises of the night before, and Toddie occasionallydemanded the promised candy cigar; but these very interruptions onlyadded joy to my own topic of interest each time it was resumed. Thefilling of Budge's orders occupied two or three hours and all thevacant space in the carriage; even then the goat and goat-carriage werecompelled to follow behind. 

The program for the afternoon was arranged to the satisfaction of everyone. I gave the coachman, Mike, a dollar to harness the goat and teachthe children to drive him; this left me free to drive off without beingfollowed by two small figures and two pitiful howls. 

I always believed a horse was infected by the spirit of his driver. Mydear old four-footed military companions always seemed to perfectlycomprehend my desires and intentions, and certainly my brother-in-law'shorses entered into my own spirits on this particular afternoon. Theystepped proudly, they arched their powerful necks handsomely, theirfeet seemed barely to touch the ground; yet they did not grow restiveunder the bit, nor were they frightened even at a hideous steamroad-rolling machine which passed us. As I drove up to Mrs. Clarkson'sdoor I found that most of the boarders were on the piazza--the memoriesof ladies are usually good at times. Alice immediately appeared, composed of course, but more radiant than ever. 

"Why, where are the boys?" she exclaimed. 

"I was afraid they might annoy your mother, " I replied, "so I left thembehind. "

"Oh, mother hardly feels well enough to go today, " said she; "she islying down. "

"Then we can pick up the boys on the road, " said I, for which remark, my enchantress, already descending the steps, gave me a look which theladies behind her would have given their best switches to have seen. 

We drove off as decorously as if it were Sunday and we were driving tochurch; we industriously pointed out to each other every handsomegarden and tasteful residence we passed; we met other people driving, and conversed fluently upon their horses, carriages and dress. But whenwe reached the edge of the town, and I turned into "Happy Valley, " aroad following the depressions and curves of a long, well-woodedvalley, in which there was not a single straight line, I turned andlooked into my darling's face. Her eyes met mine, and, although theywere full of a happiness which I had never seen in them before, theyfilled with tears, and their dear owner dropped her head on myshoulder. What we said on that long drive would not interest thereader. I have learned by experience to skip all love talks in novels;no matter how delightful the lovers may be. Recalling now ourconversation, it does not seem to me to have had anything wonderful itin. I will only say that if I had been happy on the evening before, myhappiness now seemed to be sanctified; to be favored with the love andconfidence of a simple girl scarcely past her childhood is to receive agreater honor than court or field can bestow; but even this honor isfar surpassed by that which comes to a man when a woman of rareintelligence, tact and knowledge of society and the world, unburdensher heart of all its hopes and fears, and unhesitatingly leaves herdestiny to be shaped by his love. Women like Alice Mayton do not thusgive themselves unreservedly away except when their trust is born ofknowledge as well as affection, and the realization of all this changedme on that afternoon from whatever I had been into what I had longhoped I might one day be. 

But the hours flew rapidly, and I reluctantly turned the horses' headshomeward. We had left almost the whole of "Happy Valley" behind us, andwere approaching residences again. 

"Now we must be very proper, " said Alice. 

"Certainly, " I replied, "here's a good--by to happy nonsense for thisafternoon. "

I leaned toward her, and gently placed one arm about her neck; sheraised her dear face, from which joy and trust had banished everyindication of caution and reserve, my lips sought hers, when suddenlywe heard a most unearthly, discordant shriek, which presently separatedinto two, each of which prolonged itself indefinitely. The horsesstarted, and Alice--blessed be all frights, now, henceforth, andforevermore!--clung tightly to me. The sounds seemed to be approachingus, and were accompanied by a lively rattling noise, that seemed to bemade by something wooden. Suddenly, as we approached a bend of theroad, I saw my youngest nephew appear from some unknown space, describea parabolic curve in the air, ricochet slightly from an earthyprotuberance in the road, and make a final stop in the gutter. At thesame time there appeared, from behind the bend, the goat, then thecarriage dragging on one side, and lastly, the boy Budge, graspingtightly the back of the carriage body, and howling frightfully. Adirect collision between the carriage and a stone caused Budge to loosehis hold, while the goat, after taking in the scene, trotted leisurelyoff, and disappeared in a road leading to the house of his late owner. 

"Budge, " I shouted, "stop that bawling, and come here. Where's Mike?"

"He--boo--hoo--went to--hoo--light his--boo--hoo--hoo--pipe, an' I justlet the--boo--hoo--whip go against to the goat, an' then he scattooed. "

"Nashty old goat scaddooed, " said Toddie, in corroboration. 

"Well, walk right home, and tell Maggie to wash and dress you, " said I. 

"O Harry, " pleaded Alice, "after they've been in such danger! Come hereto your own Aunt Alice, Budgie dear, --and you, too, Toddie, --you knowyou said we could pick the boys up on the road, Harry. There, there--don't cry--let me wipe the ugly old dirt off you, and kiss theface, and make it well. "

"Alice, " I protested, "don't let those dirty boys clamber all over youin that way. "

"Silence, sir, " said she, with mock dignity; "who gave me my lover, Ishould like to ask?"

So we drove up to the boarding-house with the air of people who hadbeen devoting themselves to a couple of very disreputable children, andI drove swiftly away again, lest the children should dispel theillusion. We soon met Mike, running. The moment he recognized us, heshouted:--

"Aye, ye little dhivils, --beggin' yer pardon, Masther Harry, an'thankin' the Howly Mither that their good-for-nothin' little bonesain't broke to bits. Av they saw a hippypottymus hitched to Pharaoh'schariot, they'd think 'emselves jist the byes to take the bossin' avit, the spalpeens. "

But no number of ordinary hippopotami and chariots could have disturbedthe heavenly tranquillity of my mind on this most glorious of evenings. Even a subtle sense of the fitness of things seemed to overshadow mynephews. Perhaps the touch of my enchantress did it; perhaps it cameonly from the natural relapse from great excitement; but no matter whatthe reason was, the fact remains that for the rest of the evening twovery dirty suits of clothes held two children who gave one some idea ofhow the denizens of Paradise might seem and act. They even ate theirsuppers without indulging in any of the repulsive ways of which theyhad so large an assortment, and they did not surreptitiously removefrom the table any fragments of bread and butter to leave on the piano, in the card-basket, and other places inappropriate to the reception ofsuch varieties of abandoned property. They demanded a song aftersupper, but when I sang, "Drink to Me only with Thine Eyes, " and "Thou, Thou, Reign'st in this Bosom, " they stood by with silent tongues andappreciative eyes. When they went to bed, I accompanied them by specialinvitation, but they showed no disposition to engage in the usualbedtime frolic and miniature pandemonium. Budge, when in bed, closedhis eyes, folded his hand and prayed:--

"Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' Toddie, an' Uncle Harry, an'everybody else; yes, an' bless just lots that lovely, lovely lady thatcomforted me after the goat was bad to me, an' let her comfort me lotsof times, for Christ's sake, Amen. "

And Toddie wriggled, twisted, breathed heavily, threw his head back, and prayed:

"Dee Lord, don't let dat old goat fro me into de gutter on my headaden, an' let Ocken Hawwy an' ze pitty lady be dere netst time I desthurted. "

Then the good-night salutations were exchanged, and I left the littledarlings and enjoyed communion with my own thoughts which were aspeaceful and ecstatic as if the world contained no white goods houses, no doubtful customers, no business competition, no politics, goldrooms, stock-boards, doubtful banks, political scandals, personaliniquity, nor anything which should prevent a short vacation fromlasting through a long lifetime. 

The next morning would have struck terror to the heart of any one but anewly accepted lover. Rain was falling fast, and in that steady, industrious manner which seemed to assert an intention to stick closelyto business for the whole day. The sky was covered by one impenetrableleaden cloud, water stood in pools in the streets which were soft withdust a few hours before; the flowers all hung their heads likevagabonds who had been awake all night and were ashamed to face thedaylight. Even the chickens stood about in dejected attitudes, andstray roosters from other poultry-yards found refuge in Tom's coopwithout first being subjected to a trial of strength and skill by Tom'sgame-cock. 

But no man in my condition of mind could be easily depressed by badweather. I would rather have been able to drive about under a clearsky, or lounge under the trees, or walk to the post-office in theafternoon by the road which passed directly in front of Mrs. Clarkson'sboarding-house; but man should not live for himself alone. In the roomnext mine were slumbering two wee people to whom I owed a great deal, who would mourn bitterly when they saw the condition of the skies andground--I would devote myself to the task of making THEM so happy thatthey would forget the absence of sunshine out of doors--I would sit bytheir bedside and have a story ready for them the moment they awoke, and put them in such a good humor that they could laugh, with me, atcloud and rain. 

I began at once to construct a story for their especial benefit; thescene was to be a country residence on a rainy day, and the actors twolittle boys who should become uproariously jolly in spite of theweather. Like most people not used to story-making, my progress was notvery rapid; in fact, I had got no farther than the plot indicated abovewhen an angry snarl came from the children's room. 

"What's the matter, Budge?" I shouted, dressing myself as rapidly aspossible. 

"Ow--oo--ya--ng--um--boc--gaa, " was the somewhat complicated response. 

"What did you say, Budge?"

"Didn't say noffin'. "

"Oh--that's what I thought. "

"DIDN'T thought. "

"Budge, --Budge, --be good. "

"Don't WANT to be good--YA--A--A. "

"Let's have some fun, Budge--don't you want to frolic?"

"No; I don't think frolic is nice. "

"Don't you want some candy, Budge?"

"No--you ain't GOT no candy, I bleeve. "

"Well, you sha'n't have any if you don't stop being so cross. "

The only reply to this was a mighty and audible rustling of the beddingin the boys' room, followed by a sound strongly resembling that causedby a slap; then came a prolonged wail, resembling that of an ungreasedwagon-wheel. 

"What's the matter, Toddie?"

"Budge s'apped me--ah--h--h--h!"

"What made you slap your brother, Budge?"

"I DIDN'T. "

"You DID, " screamed Toddie. 

"I tell you I didn't--you're a naughty, bad boy to tell such lies, Toddie. "

"What DID you do, Budge?" I asked. 

"Why--why--I was--I was turnin' over in bed, an' my hand was out, andit tumbled against to Toddie--that's what. "

By this time I was dressed and in the boy's room. Both my nephews weresitting up in bed, Budge looking as sullen as an old jail-bird, andToddie with tears streaming all over his face. 

"Boys, " said I, "don't be angry with each other--it isn't right. Whatdo you suppose the Lord thinks when he sees you so cross to each other?"

"He don't think noffin', " said Budge; "you don't think he can lookthrough a black sky like that, do you?"

"He can look anywhere, Budge, and he feels very unhappy when he seeslittle brothers angry with each other. "

"Well, I feel unhappy, too--I wish there wasn't never no old rain, nornothin'. "

"Then what would the plants and flowers do for a drink, and where wouldthe rivers come from for you to go sailing on?"

"An' wawtoo to mate mud-pies, " added Toddie. "You's a naughty boy, Buggie;" and here Toddie's tears began to flow afresh. 

"I AIN'T a bad boy, an' I don't want no old rain nohow, an' that's allabout it. An' I don't want to get up, an' Maggie must bring me up mybreakfast in bed. "

"Boo--hoo--oo, " wept Toddie, "wants my brepspup in bed too. "

"Boys, " said I, "now listen. You can't have any breakfast at all unlessyou are up and dressed by the time the bell rings. The rising bell rangsome time ago. Now dress like good boys, and you shall have somebreakfast, and then you'll feel a great deal nicer, and then UncleHarry will play with you and tell you stories all day long. "

Budge crept reluctantly out of bed and caught up one of his stockings, while Toddie again began to cry. 

"Toddie, " I shouted, "stop that dreadful racket, and dress yourself. What are you crying for?"

"Well, I feelsh bad. "

"Well, dress yourself, and you'll feel better. "

"Wantsh YOU to djesh me. "

"Bring me your clothes, then--quick!"

Again the tears flowed copiously. "Don't WANT to bring 'em, " saidToddie. 

"Then come here!" I shouted, dragging him across the room, andsnatching up his tiny articles of apparel. I had dressed no smallchildren since I was rather a small boy myself, and Toddie's clothingconfused me somewhat. I finally got something on him, when acontemptuous laugh from Budge interrupted me. 

"How you goin' to put his shirt on under them things?" queried myoldest nephew. 

"Budge, " I retorted, "how are you going to get any breakfast if youdon't put on something besides that stocking?"

The young man's countenance fell, and just then the breakfast bellrang. Budge raised a blank face, hurried to the head of the stairs andshouted:--

"Maggie?"

"What is it, Budge?"

"Was--was that the rising-bell or the breakfast-bell?"

"'Twas the breakfast-bell. "

There was dead silence for a moment, and then Budge shouted:--

"Well, we'll call that the risin'-bell. You can ring another bell forbreakfast pretty soon when I get dressed. " Then this volunteer adjusterof household affairs came calmly back and commenced dressing in goodearnest, while I labored along with Toddie's wardrobe. 

"Where's the button-hook, Budge?" said I. 

"It's--I--oh--um--I put it--say, Tod, what did you do with thebutton-hook yesterday?"

"Didn't hazh no button-hook, " asserted Toddie. 

"Yes, you did; don't you remember how we was a playin' draw teef, an'the doctor's dog had the toofache, and I was pullin' his teef with thebutton-hook, an' you was my little boy, an' I gived the toof-puller toyou to hold for me? Where did you put it?"

"I'D no, " replied Toddie, putting his hand in his pocket and bringingout a sickly-looking toad. 

"Feel again, " said I, throwing the toad out the window, where it wasfollowed by an agonizing shriek from Toddie. Again he felt, and hissearch was rewarded by the tension screw of Helen's sewing-machine. Then I attempted some research myself, and speedily found my fingersadhering to something of a sticky consistency. I quickly withdrew myhand, exclaiming:--

"What nasty stuff HAVE you got in your pocket, Toddie?"

"'Taint nashty' tuff--it's byead an' 'lasses, an' its nice, an' Budgean' me hazh little tea-parties in de kicken-coop, an' we eats it, an'it's DOVELY. "

All this was lucid and disgusting, but utterly unproductive ofbutton-hooks, and meanwhile the breakfast was growing cold. I succeededin buttoning Toddie's shoes with my fingers, splitting most of my nailsin the operation. I had been too busily engaged with Toddie to pay anyattention to Budge, who I now found about half dressed and trying tocatch flies on the windowpane. Snatching Toddie, I started for thedining-room, when Budge remarked reprovingly:--

"Uncle Harry, YOU wasn't dressed when the bell rang, and YOU oughtn'tto have any breakfast. "

True enough--I was minus collar, cravat, and coat. Hurrying these on, and starting again, I was once more arrested:--

"Uncle Harry, must I brush my teeth this morning?"

"No--hurry up--come down without doing anything more, if you like, butCOME--it'll be dinner-time before we get breakfast. "

Then that imp was moved, for the first time that morning, to somethinglike good-nature, and he exclaimed with a giggle:--

"My! What big stomachs we'd have when we got done, wouldn't we?"

At the breakfast table Toddie wept again, because I insisted onbeginning operations before Budge came. Then neither boys knew exactlywhat he wanted. Then Budge managed to upset the contents of his plateinto his lap, and while I was helping him clear away the debris, Toddieimproved the opportunity to pour his milk upon his fish, and putseveral spoonfuls of oatmeal porridge into my coffee-cup. I made anearly excuse to leave the table and turn the children over to Maggie. Ifelt as tired as if I had done a hard day's work, and was somewhatappalled at realizing that the day had barely begun. I lit a cigar andsat down to Helen's piano. I am not a musician, but even the chords ofa hand-organ would have seemed sweet music to me on that morning. Themusic-book nearest to my hand was a church hymn-book, and the first airmy eye struck was "Greenville. " I lived once in a town, where, on asingle day, a pedler disposed of thirty-eight accordeons, each with aninstruction-book in which this same air under its original name was theONLY air. For years after, a single bar of this air awakened the mostmelancholy reflections in my mind, but now I forgave all my musicaltormentors as the familiar strains came comfortingly from thepiano-keys. But suddenly I heard an accompaniment--a sort of reedysound--and, looking around, I saw Toddie again in tears. I stoppedabruptly and asked:--

"What's the matter NOW, Toddie?"

"Don't want dat old tune; wantsh dancin' tune, so I can dance. "

I promptly played "Yankee Doodle, " and Toddie began to trot around theroom with the expression of a man who intended to do his whole duty. Then Budge appeared, hugging a bound volume of "St. Nicholas. " Themoment Toddie espied this he stopped dancing and devoted himself anewto the task of weeping. 

"Toddie, " I shouted, springing from the piano-stool, "what do you meanby crying at everything? I shall have to put you to bed again, ifyou're going to be such a baby. "

"That's the way he ALWAYS does, rainy days, " explained Budge. 

"Wantsh to see the whay-al what fwollowed Djonah, " sobbed Toddie. 

"Can't you demand something that's within the range of possibility, Toddie?" I mildly asked. 

"The whale Toddie means is in this big red book, --I'll find it foryou, " said Budge, turning over the leaves. 

Suddenly a rejoicing squeal from Toddie announced that leviathan hadbeen found, and I hastened to gaze. He was certainly a dreadful-lookinganimal, but he had an enormous mouth, which Toddie caressed with hispudgy little hand, and kissed with tenderness, murmuring as he did so:--

"DEE old whay-al, I loves you. Is Jonah all goneded out of you 'tomach, whay-al? I finks 'twas weal mean in Djonah to get froed up when youhadn't noffin' else to eat, POOR old whay-al. "

"Of COURSE Jonah's gone, " said Budge, "he went to heaven longago--pretty soon after he went to Nineveh an' done what the Lord toldhim to do. Now swing us, Uncle Harry. "

The swing was on the piazza under cover from the rain; so I obeyed. Both boys fought for the right to swing first, and when I decided infavor of Budge, Toddie went off weeping, and declaring that he wouldlook at his dear whay-al anyhow. A moment later his wail changed to apiercing shriek; and running to his assistance, I saw him holding onefinger tenderly and trampling on a wasp. 

"What's the matter, Toddie?"

"Oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--EE--I putted my finger on a waps, and--oo--oo--thenasty waps--oo--bited me. An' I don't like wapses a bit, but I likeswhay-als--oo--ee--ee. "

A happy thought struck me. "Why don't you boys make believe that bigpacking-box in your play-room is a whale?" said I. 

A compound shriek of delight followed the suggestion, and both boysscrambled upstairs, leaving me a free man again. I looked remorsefullyat the tableful of books which I had brought to read, and had notlooked at for a week. Even now my remorse did not move me to openthem--I found myself instead attracted toward Tom's library, andconning the titles of novels and volumes of poems. My eye was caught by"Initial, "--a love-story which I had always avoided because I had heardimpressible young ladies rave about it; but now I picked it up anddropped into an easy chair. Suddenly I heard Mike the coachmanshouting:--

"Go away from there, will ye? Ah, ye little spalpeen, it's good for yethat yer fahder don't see ye perched up dhere. Go way from dhat, orI'll be tellin' yer uncle. "

"Don't care for nasty old uncle, " piped Toddie's voice. 

I laid down my book with a sigh, and went into the garden. Mike saw meand shouted:--

"Misther Burthon, will ye look dhere? Did ye's ever see the loike avdhat bye?"

Looking up at the play-room window, a long, narrow sort of loop-hole ina Gothic gable, I beheld my youngest nephew standing upright on thesill. 

"Toddie, go in--quick!" I shouted, hurrying under the window to catchhim in case he fell outward. 

"I tan't, " squealed Toddie. 

"Mike, run up-stairs and snatch him in; Toddie, go on, I tell you!"

"Tell you I TAN'T doe in, " repeated Toddie. "ZE bit bots ish zewhay-al, an' I'ez Djonah, an' ze whay-al's froed me up, an' I'ze dot to'tay up here else ze whay-al 'ill fwallow me aden. "

"I won't LET him swallow you. Get in now--hurry, " said I. 

"Will you give him a penny not to fwallow me no more?" queried Toddie. 

"Yes--a whole lot of pennies. "

"Aw wight. Whay-al, don't you fwallow me no more, an' zen my OckenHawwy div you whole lots of pennies. You must be weal dood whay-al now, an' then I buys you some tandy wif your pennies, an'--"

Just then two great hands seized Toddie's frock in front, and hedisappeared with a howl, while I, with the first feeling of faintness Ihad ever experienced, went in search of hammer, nails, and some stripsof board, to nail on the outside of the window-frame. But boards couldnot be found, so I went up to the play-room and began to knock a pieceor two off the box which had done duty as whale. A pitiful scream fromToddie caused me to stop. 

"You're hurtin' my dee old whay-al; you's brakin' his 'tomach allopen--you's a baddy man--'TOP hurtin' my whay-al, ee--ee--ee, " cried mynephew. 

"I'm not hurting him, Toddie, " said I; "I'm making his mouth bigger, sohe can swallow you easier. "

A bright thought came into Toddie's face and shone through his tears. "Then he can fwallow Budgie too, an' there'l be twoDjonahs--ha--ha--ha! Make his mouf so big he can fwallow Mike, an' zenmate it 'ittle aden, so Mike tan' det OUT; nashty old Mike!"

I explained that Mike would not come upstairs again, so I was permittedto depart after securing the window. 

Again I settled myself with book and cigar; there was at least for methe extra enjoyment that comes from the sense of pleasure earned byhonest toil. Pretty soon Budge entered the room. I affected not tonotice him, but he was not in the least abashed by my neglect. 

"Uncle Harry, " said he, throwing himself in my lap between my book andme, "I don't feel a bit nice. "

"What's the matter, old fellow?" I asked. Until he spoke I could haveboxed his ears with great satisfaction to myself; but there is so muchgenuine feeling in whatever Budge says that he commands respect. 

"Oh, I'm tired of playin' with Toddie, an' I feel lonesome. Won't youtell me a story?"

"Then what'll poor Toddie do, Budge?"

"Oh, he won't mind--he's got a dead mouse to be Jonah now, so I don'thave no fun at all. Won't you tell me a story?"

"Which one?"

"Tell me one that I never heard before at all. "

"Well, let's see; I guess I'll tell--"

"Ah--ah--ah--ah--ee--ee--ee, " sounded afar off, but fatefully. It camenearer--it came down the stairway and into the library, accompanied byToddie, who, on spying me, dropped his inarticulate utterance, held upboth hands, and exclaimed:--

"Djonah bwoke he tay-al!"

True enough; in one hand Toddie held the body of a mouse, and in theother that animal's caudal appendage; there was also perceptible, though not by the sense of sight, an objectionable odor in the room. 

"Toddie, " said I, "go throw Jonah into the chicken-coop, and I'll giveyou some candy. "

"Me too, " shouted Budge, "cos I found the mouse for him. "

I made both boys happy with candy, exacted a pledge not to go out inthe rain, and then, turning them loose on the piazza, returned to mybook. I had read perhaps half-a-dozen pages when there arose andswelled rapidly in volume a scream from Toddie. Madly determined to putboth boys into chairs, tie them and clap adhesive plaster over theirmouths, I rushed out upon the piazza. 

"Budgie tried to eat my candy, " complained Toddie. 

"I didn't, " said Budge. 

"What DID you do?" I demanded. 

"I didn't bite it at all--I only wanted to see how it would feelbetween my teeth--that's all. "

I felt the corners of my mouth breaking down, and hurried back to thelibrary, where I spent a quiet quarter of an hour in pondering over thedemoralizing influence exerted upon principle by a sense of theludicrous. For some time afterward the boys got along without doinganything worse than make a dreadful noise, which caused me to resolveto find some method of deadening piazza-floors if _I_ ever owned ahouse in the country. In the occasional intervals of comparative quietI caught snatches of very funny conversation. The boys had coined agreat many words whose meaning was evident enough but I wonder greatlywhy Tom and Helen had never taught them the proper substitutes. 

Among others was the word "deader, " whose meaning I could not imagine. Budge shouted:--

"O Tod; there comes a deader. See where all them things like rooster'stails are a-shakin'?--Well, there's a deader under them. "

"Dasth funny, " remarked Toddie. 

"An' see all the peoples a-comin' along, " continued Budge, "THEY know'bout the deader, an' they're goin' to see it fixed. Here it comes. Hello, deader!"

"Hay-oh, deader, " echoed Toddie. 

What COULD deader mean?

"Oh, here it is right in front of us, " cried Budge, "and AIN'T therelots of people? An' two horses to pull the deader--SOME deaders hasonly one. "

My curiosity was too much for my weariness; I went to the front window, and, peering through, saw--a funeral procession! In a second I was onthe piazza, with my hands on the children's collars; a second later twosmall boys were on the floor of the hall, the front door was closed, and two determined hands covered two threatening little mouths. 

When the procession had fairly passed the house I released the boys andheard two prolonged howls for my pains. Then I asked Budge if he wasn'tashamed to talk that way when a funeral was passing. 

"'TWASN'T a funeral, " said he. "'Twas only a deader, an' deaders can'thear nothin'. "

"But the people in the carriages could, " said I. 

"Well, " said he, "they was so glad that the other part of the deaderhad gone to heaven that they didn't care WHAT I said. Ev'rybody's gladwhen the other parts of deaders go to heaven. Papa told me to be gladthat dear little Phillie was in heaven, an' I WAS, but I do want to seehim again awful. "

"Wantsh to shee Phillie aden awfoo, " said Toddie, as I kissed Budge andhurried off to the library, unfit just then to administer fartherinstruction or reproof. Of one thing I was very certain--I wished therain would cease falling, so the children could go out of doors, and Icould get a little rest, and freedom from responsibility. But the skiesshowed no signs of being emptied, the boys were snarling on thestairway, and I was losing my temper quite rapidly. 

Suddenly I bethought me of one of the delights of my own childishdays--the making of scrap-books. One of Tom's library drawers held agreat many Lady's Journals. Of course Helen meant to have them bound, but I could easily repurchase the numbers for her; they would cost twoor three dollars; but peace was cheap at that price. On a high shelf inthe playroom I had seen some supplementary volumes of "MercantileAgency" reports which would in time reach the rag-bag; there was abottle of mucilage in the library-desk, and the children owned an oldpair of scissors. Within five minutes I had located two happy childrenon the bath-room floor, taught them to cut out pictures (whichoperation I quickly found they understood as well as I did) and topaste them into the extemporized scrap-book. Then I left them, recalling something from Newman Hall's address on "The Dignity ofLabor. " Why hadn't I thought before of showing my nephews some way ofoccupying their mind and hands? Who could blame the helpless littlethings for following every prompting of their unguided minds? Had I nota hundred times been told, when sent to the wood-pile or the weediestpart of the garden in my youthful days, that

 "Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do?"

"Never again would I blame children for being mischievous when theirminds were neglected. 

I spent a peaceful, pleasant hour over my novel, when I felt that afresh cigar would be acceptable. Going up-stairs in search of one Ifound that Budge had filled the bathtub with water, and was sailingboats, that is, hair-brushes. Even this seemed too mild an offense tocall for a rebuke, so I passed on without disturbing him, and went tomy own room. I heard Toddie's voice, and having heard from my sisterthat Toddie's conversations with himself were worth listening to, Ipaused outside the door. I heard Toddie softly murmur:--

"Zere, pitty yady, 'tay ZERE. Now, 'ittle boy, I put you wif yourmudder, tause mudders likes zere 'ittle boys wif zem. An' you sall have'ittle sister tudder side of you, --zere. Now, 'ittle boy's an' 'ittlegirl's mudder, don't you feel happy?--isn't I awfoo good to give youyour 'ittle tsilderns? You ought to say, 'Fank you, Toddie, --you'se anice, fweet 'ittle djentleman. '"

I peered cautiously--then I entered the room hastily. I didn't sayanything for a moment, for it was impossible to do justice, impromptu, to the subject. Toddie had a progressive mind--if pictorialornamentation was good for old books, why should not similarornamentation be extended to objects more likely to be seen? Such maynot have been Toddie's line of thought, but his recent operationswarranted such a supposition. He had cut out a number of pictures, andpasted them upon the wall of my room--my sister's darling room, withits walls tinted exquisitely in pink. As a member of a hangingcommittee, Toddie would hardly have satisfied taller people, but he hadarranged the pictures quite regularly, at about the height of his owneyes, had favored no one artist more than another, and had hungindiscriminately figure pieces, landscapes, and genre pictures. Thetemporary break of wall-line, occasioned by the door communicating withhis own room, he had overcome by closing the door and carrying a lineof pictures across its lower panels. Occasionally, a picture fell offthe wall, but the mucilage remained faithful, and glistened with itsfervor of devotion. And yet so untouched was I by this artisticdisplay, that when I found strength to shout "Toddie!" it was in a tonewhich caused this industrious amateur decorator to start violently, anddrop his mucilage-bottle, open end first, upon the carpet. 

"What will mamma say?" I asked. 

Toddie gazed, first blankly and then inquiringly, into my face; findingno answer or sympathy there, he burst into tears, and replied:--

"I dunno. "

The ringing of the lunch-bell changed Toddie from a tearful cherub intoa very practical, business-like boy, and shouting "Come on, Budge!" hehurried down-stairs, while I tormented myself with wonder as to how Icould best and most quickly undo the mischief Toddie had done. 

I will concede to my nephews the credit of keeping reasonably quietduring meals; their tongues doubtless longed to be active in both theprincipal capacities of those useful members, but they had no doubt asto how to choose between silence and hunger. The result was areasonably comfortable half-hour. Just as I began to cut a melon, Budgebroke the silence by exclaiming:--

"O Uncle Harry, we haven't been out to see the goat to-day!"

"Budge, " I replied, "I'll carry you out there under an umbrella afterlunch, and you may play with that goat all the afternoon, if you like. "

"Oh, won't that be nice?" exclaimed Budge. "The poor goat! he'll thinkI don't love him a bit, 'cause I haven't been to see him to-day. Doesgoats go to heaven when they die, Uncle Harry?"

"Guess not--they'd make trouble in the golden streets, I'm afraid. "

"Oh, dear! then Phillie can't see my goat. I'm so awful sorry, " saidBudge. 

"_I_ can see your goat, Budgie, " suggested Toddie. 

"Huh!" said Budge, very contemptuously. "YOU ain't dead. "

"Well, Izhe GOIN' to be dead some day 'an zen your nashty old goatsha'n't see me a bit--see how he like ZAT. " And Toddie made a ferociousattack on a slice of melon nearly as large as himself. 

After lunch Toddie was sent to his room to take his afternoon nap, andBudge went to the barn on my shoulders. I gave Mike a dollar, withinstructions to keep Budge in sight, to keep him from teasing the goat, and to prevent his being impaled or butted. Then I stretched myself ona lounge, and wondered whether only half a day of daylight had elapsedsince I and the most adorable woman in the world had been so happytogether. How much happier I would be when next I met her! The verytorments of this rainy day would make my joy seem all the dearer andmore intense. I dreamed happily for a few moments with my eyes open, and then somehow they closed, without my knowledge. What put into mymind the wreck-scene from the play of "David Copperfield, " I don'tknow; but there it came, and in my dream I was sitting in the balconyat Booth's, and taking a proper interest in the scene, when it occurredto me that the thunder had less of reverberation and more woodennessthan good stage thunder should have. The mental exertion I underwent onthis subject disturbed the course of my nap, but as wakefulnessreturned, the sound of the poorly simulated thunder did not cease; onthe contrary, it was just as noisy, and more hopelessly a counterfeitthan ever. What could the sound be? I stepped through the window to thepiazza, and the sound was directly over my head. I sprang down theterrace and out upon the lawn, looked up, and beheld my youngest nephewstrutting back and forth on the tin roof of the piazza, holding overhis head a ragged old parasol. I roared--

"Go in, Toddie--this instant!"

The sound of my voice startled the young man so severely that he losthis footing, fell, and began to roll toward the edge and to scream, both operations being performed with great rapidity. I ran to catch himas he fell, but the outer edge of the water-trough was high enough toarrest his progress, though it had no effect in reducing the volume ofhis howls. 

"Toddie, " I shouted, "lie perfectly still until uncle can get to you. Do you hear?"

"Ess, but don't want to lie 'till, " came in reply from the roof. "'Tan't shee noffin' but sky an' rain. "

"Lie still, " I reiterated, "or I'll whip you dreadfully. " Then I dashedup-stairs, removed my shoes, climbed out and rescued Toddie, shook himsoundly, and then shook myself. 

"I wazh only djust pyayin' mamma, an' walkin' in ze yain wif anumbayalla, " Toddie explained. 

I threw him upon his bed and departed. It was plain that neither logic, threats, nor the presence of danger could keep this dreadful child fromdoing whatever he chose; what other means of restraint could beemployed? Although not as religious a man as my good mother could wish, I really wondered whether prayer, as a last resort, might not beeffective. For his good, and my own peace, I would cheerfully have readthrough the whole prayer-book. I could hardly have done it just then, though, for Mike solicited an audience at the back door, and reportedthat Budge had given the carriage-sponge to the goat, put handfuls ofoats into the pump-cylinder, pulled hairs out of the black mare's tail, and with a sharp nail drawn pictures on the enamel of thecarriage-body. Budge made no denial, but looked very much aggrieved, and remarked that he couldn't never be happy without somebody having togo get bothered; and he wished there wasn't nobody in the world butorgan-grinders and candy-store men. He followed me into the house, flung himself into a chair, put on a look which I imagine Byron worebefore he was old enough to be malicious, and exclaimed:--

"I don't see what little boys was made for anyhow; if ev'rybody getscross with them, an' don't let 'em do what they want to. I'll bet whenI get to heaven, the Lord won't be as ugly to me as Mike is, --an' someother folks, too. I wish I could die and be buried right away, --me an'the goat--an' go to heaven, where we wouldn't be scolded. "

Poor little fellow! First I laughed inwardly at his idea of heaven, andthen I wondered whether my own was very different from it, or any morecreditable. I had no time to spend even in pious reflection, however. Budge was quite wet, his shoes were soaking, and he already had anattack of catarrh; so I took him to his room and re-dressed him, wondering all the while how much similar duties my own father had hadto do by me had shortened his life, and how, with such a son as I was, he lived as long as he did. The idea that I was in some slight degreeatoning for my early sins, so filled my thoughts, that I did not atfirst notice the absence of Toddie. When it DID become evident to methat my youngest nephew was not in the bed in which I had placed him, Iwent in search of him. He was in none of the chambers, but hearinggentle murmurs issue from a long, light closet, I looked in and sawToddie sitting on the floor, and eating the cheese out of a mouse-trap. A squeak of my boots betrayed me, and Toddie, equal to the emergency, sprang to his feet and exclaimed:--

"I didn't hurt de 'ittle mousie one bittie; I just letted him out, andhe runded away. "

And still it rained. Oh, for a single hour of sunlight, so that the mudmight be only damp dirt, and the children could play without tormentingother people! But it was not to be; slowly, and by the aid of songs, stories, an improvised menagerie, in which I personated every animal, besides playing ostrich and armadillo, and a great many disagreements, the afternoon wore to its close, and my heart slowly lightened. Only anhour or two more, and the children would be in bed for the night, andthen I would enjoy, in unutterable measure, the peaceful hours whichwould be mine. Even now they were inclined to behave themselves; theywere tired and hungry, and stretched themselves on the floor, to awaitdinner. I embraced the opportunity to return to my book, but I hadhardly read a page, when a combined crash and scream summoned me to thedining-room. On the floor lay Toddie, a great many dishes, a roast legof lamb, several ears of green corn, the butter-dish and its contents, and several other misplaced edibles. One thing was quite evident; thescalding contents of the gravy-dish had been emptied on Toddie's arm, and how severely the poor child might be scalded I did not know. Ihastily slit open his sleeve from wrist to shoulder, and found the skinvery red; so, remembering my mother's favorite treatment for scalds andburns, I quickly spread the contents of a dish of mashed potato on aclean handkerchief, and wound the whole around Toddie's arm as apoultice. Then I demanded an explanation. 

"I was only djust reatchin for a pieshe of bwed, " sobbed Toddie, "an'then the bad old tabo beginded to froe all its fings at me, an' tumbledown bang. "

He undoubtedly told the truth as far as he knew it, but reaching overtables is a bad habit in small boys, especially when their motherscling to old-fashioned heirlooms of tables, which have folding leaves;so I banished Toddie to his room, supperless, to think of what he haddone. With Budge alone, I had a comfortable dinner off the salvage fromthe wreck caused by Toddie, and then I went up-stairs to see if theoffender had repented. It was hard to tell, by sight, whether he had ornot, for his back was to me, as he flattened his nose against thewindow, but I could see that my poultice was gone. 

"Where is what uncle put on your arm, Toddie?" I asked. 

"I ate it up, " said the truthful youth. 

"Did you eat the handkerchief, too?"

"No; I froed nashty old handkerchief out the window--don't want dirtyold handkerchiefs in my nice 'ittle room. "

I was so glad that his burn had been slight that I forgave the insultto my handkerchief and called up Budge, so that I might at once getboth boys into bed, and emerge from the bondage in which I had livedall day long. But the task was no easy one. Of course mybrother-in-law, Tom Lawrence, knows better than any other man thenecessities of his own children, but no children of mine shall ever betaught so many methods of imposing upon parental good nature. Theirprogram called for stories, songs, moral conversations, frolics, thepresentation of pennies, the dropping of the same, at long intervals, into tin savings banks, followed by a deafening shaking-up of bothbanks; then a prayer must be offered, and no conventional one would betolerated; then the boys performed their own devotions, after which Iwas allowed to depart with an interchange of "God bless you's. " As thisevening I left the room with their innocent benedictions sounding in myears, a sense of personal weakness, induced by the events of the day, moved me to fervently respond "Amen!"

Mothers of American boys, accept from me a tribute of respect, which nowords can fitly express--of wonder greater than any of the great thingsof the world ever inspired--of adoration as earnest and devout as theCatholic pays to the Virgin. In a single day, I, a strong man, withnothing else to occupy my mind, am reduced to physical and mentalworthlessness by the necessities of two boys not overmischievous orbad. And you--Heaven only knows how--have unbroken weeks, months, years, yes, lifetimes of just such experiences, and with them theburden of household cares, of physical ills and depressions, of mentalanxieties that pierce your hearts with as many sorrows as grieved theHoly Mother of old. Compared with thy endurance, that of the young man, the athlete, is as weakness; the secret of thy nerves, wonderful evenin their weakness, is as great as that of the power of the winds. Todisplay decision, thy opportunities are more frequent than those of thegreatest statesman; thy heroism laughs into insignificance that of fortand field; thou art trained in a school of diplomacy such as the mostexperienced court cannot furnish. Do scoffers say thou canst not holdthe reins of government? Easier is it to rule a band of savages than tobe the successful autocrat of thy little kingdom. Compared with theways of men, even thy failures are full of glory. Be thy faults whatthey may, thy one great, mysterious, unapproachable success placesthee, in desert, far above warrior, rabbi or priest. 

The foregoing soliloquy passed through my mind as I lay upon the bedwhere I had thrown myself after leaving the children's room. Whateverelse attempted to affect me mentally found my mind a blank until thenext morning, when I awoke to realize that I had dropped asleep justwhere I fell, and that I had spent nearly twelve hours lying across abed in an uncomfortable position, and without removing my daily attire. My next impression was that quite a bulky letter had been pushed undermy chamber-door. Could it be that my darling--I hastily seized theenvelope and found it addressed in my sister's writing, and promising amore voluminous letter than that lady had ever before honored me with. I opened it, dropping an enclosure which doubtless was a list ofnecessities which I would please pack, etc. , and read as follows:--

"JULY 1, 1875. 

"MY DEAR OLD BROTHER:--WOULDN'T I like to give you the warmest ofsisterly hugs? I can't believe it, and yet I'm in ecstasies over it. Tothink that you should have got that perfection of a girl, who hasdeclined so many great catches--YOU, my sober, business-like, unromantic big brother--oh, it's too wonderful! But now I think of it, you're just the people for each other. I'd like to say that it's justwhat I'd always longed for, and that I invited you to Hillcrest tobring it about; but the trouble with such a story would be that itwouldn't have a word of truth in it. You always DID have a faculty ofdoing just what you pleased, and what nobody ever expected you to do, but now you've exceeded yourself. 

"And to think that my little darlings played an important part inbringing it all about! I shall take the credit for THAT, for if ithadn't been for me, who would have helped you, sir? I shall expect youto remember both of them handsomely at Christmas. 

"I don't believe I'm guilty of a breach of confidence in sending theenclosed, which I have just received from my sister-in-law that is tobe. It will tell you some causes of your success of which you, with aman's conceit, haven't imagined for a minute, and it will tell you, too, of a maiden's first and natural fear under such circumstances, --afear which I know that you, with your honest, generous heart, willhasten to dispel. As you're a man, you're quite likely to be too stupidto read what's written between the lines; so I'd better tell you thatAlice's fear is that in letting herself go so easily she may haveseemed to lack proper reserve and self-respect. You don't need to betold that no woman alive has more of these very qualities. 

"Bless your dear old heart, Harry, --you deserve to be shaken to deathif you're not the happiest man alive. I MUST hurry home and see youboth with my own eyes, and learn to believe that all this wonderfulglorious thing has come to pass. Give Alice a sister's kiss from me (ifyou know how to give more than one kind), and give my cherubs a hundredeach from the mother that wants to see them so much. 

"With love and congratulations, "HELEN. "

The other letter, which I opened with considerable reverence and moredelight, ran as follows:--

"HILLCREST, June 29, 1875. 

"DEAR FRIEND HELEN:--Something has happened, and I am very happy, but Iam more than a little troubled over it, too, and as you are one of thepersons nearly concerned, I am going to confess to you as soon aspossible. Harry--your brother, I mean--will be sure to tell you verysoon, if he hasn't done so already, and I want to make all possiblehaste to solemnly assure you that _I_ hadn't the slightest idea of sucha thing coming to pass, and I didn't do the slightest thing to bring itabout. 

"I always thought your brother was a splendid fellow, and have neverbeen afraid to express my mind about him, when there was no one butgirls to listen. But out here I've somehow learned to admire him morethan ever. I cheerfully acquit HIM of intentionally doing anything tocreate a favorable impression; if his several appearances before meHAVE been studied, he is certainly the most original being I ever heardof. Your children are angels--you've told me so yourself, and I've myown very distinct impression on the subject, but they DON'T study tosave their uncle's appearance. The figures that unfortunate man has cutseveral times--well, I won't try to describe them on paper, for fear hemight some day see a scrap of it, and take offense. But he always seemsto be patient with them, and devoted to them, and I haven't been ableto keep from seeing that a man who could be so lovable with thoughtlessand unreasonable children must be perfectly adorable to the woman heloved, if she were a woman at all. Still, I hadn't the faintest ideathat I would be the fortunate woman. At last THE day came, but I was inblissful ignorance of what was to happen. Your little Charley hurthimself, and insisted upon Har--your brother singing an odd song tohim; and just when the young gentleman was doing the elegant to a dozenof us ladies at once, too! If you COULD have seen his face!--it was toofunny, until he got over his annoyance, and began to feel properlysorry for the little fellow--then he seemed all at once to be alltenderness and heart, and I DID wish for a moment thatconventionalities didn't exist, and I might tell him that he was amodel. Then your youngest playfully spilt a plate of soup on my dress(don't be worried--'twas only a common muslin, and 'twill wash). Ofcourse I had to change it, and as I retired the happy thought struck methat I'd make so elaborate a toilet that I wouldn't finish in time tojoin the other ladies for the usual evening walk; consequence, I wouldhave a chance to monopolize a gentleman for half an hour or more--achance which, no thanks to the gentlemen who don't come to Hillcrest, no lady here has had this season. Every time I peered through theblinds to see if the other girls had started, I could see HIM, lookingso distressed, and brooding over those two children as if he was theirmother, and he seemed so good. He seemed pleased to see ME when Iappeared, and coming from such a man, the implied compliment was fullyappreciated; everything he said to me seemed a little more worthhearing than if it had come from any man not so good. Then suddenlyyour eldest insisted on retailing the result of a conversation he hadhad with his uncle, and the upshot was that Harry declared himself; hewasn't romantic a bit, but he was real straightforward and manly, whileI was so completely taken aback that I couldn't think of a thing tosay. Then the impudent fellow kissed me, and I lost my tongue worsethan ever. If I had known anything of his feelings beforehand, I shouldhave been prepared to behave more properly; but--O Helen, I'm so glad IDIDN'T know! I should be the happiest being that ever lived, if Iwasn't afraid that you and your husband might think that I had givenmyself away too hastily. As to other people, we will see that theydon't know a word about it for months to come. 

"DO write that I was not to blame, and make believe accept me as asister, because I CAN'T offer to give Harry up to any one else you mayhave picked out for him. 

"Your sincere friend, "ALICE MAYTON. "

Was there ever so delightful a reveille? All the boyishness in meseemed suddenly to come to the surface, and instead of saying and doingthe decorous things which novelists' heroes do under similarcircumstances, I shouted "Hurrah!" and danced into the children's roomso violently that Budge sat up in bed, and regarded me with reprovingeyes, while Toddie burst into a happy laugh, and volunteered as apartner in the dance. Then I realized that the rain was over, and thesun was shining--I could take Alice out for another drive, and untilthen the children could take care of themselves. I remembered suddenly, and with a sharp pang, that my vacation was nearly at an end, and Ifound myself consuming with impatience to know how much longer Alicewould remain at Hillcrest. It would be cruel to wish her in the citybefore the end of August, yet I--

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, "my papa says 'tisn't nice for folks to sitdown and go to thinkin' before they've brushed their hairmornin's--that's what he tells ME. "

"I beg your pardon, Budge, " said I, springing up in some confusion; "Iwas thinking over a matter of a great deal of importance. "

"What was it--my goat?"

"No--of course not. Don't be silly, Budge. "

"Well, I think about him a good deal, an' I don't think it's silly abit. I hope he'll go to heaven when he dies. Do angels havegoat-carriages, Uncle Harry?"

"No, old fellow--they can go about without carriages. "

"When _I_ goesh to hebben, " said Toddie, rising in bed, "Izhe goin' tohave lots of goat-cawidjes an' Izhe goin' to tate all ze andjels awiden. "

With many other bits of prophecy and celestial description I wasregaled as I completed my toilet, and I hurried out of doors for anopportunity to think without disturbance. Strolling past the henyard Isaw a meditative turtle, and picking him up and shouting to my nephewsI held the reptile up for their inspection. Their window-blinds flewopen, and a unanimous though not exactly harmonious "Oh!" greeted myprize. 

"Where did you get it, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. 

"Down by the hen-coop. "

Budge's eyes opened wide; he seemed to devote a moment to profoundthought, and then he exclaimed:--

"Why, I don't see how the hens COULD lay such a big thing--just put himin your hat till I come down, will you?"

I dropped the turtle in Budge's wheelbarrow, and made a tour of theflower-borders. The flowers, always full of suggestion to me, seemedsuddenly to have new charms and powers; they actually impelled me totry to make rhymes, --me, a steady white-goods salesman! The impulse wastoo strong to be resisted, though I must admit that the results werepitifully meager:--

 "As radiant as that matchless rose Which poet-artists fancy; As fair as whitest lily-blows, As modest as the pansy; As pure as dew which hides within Aurora's sun-kissed chalice; As tender as the primrose sweet-- All this, and more, is Alice. "

In inflicting this fragment upon the reader, I have not the faintestidea that he can discover any merit in it; I quote it only that asubsequent experience of mine may be more intelligible. When I hadcomposed these wretched lines I became conscious that I had neitherpencil nor paper wherewith to preserve them. Should I lose them--myfirst self-constructed poem? Never! This was not the first time inwhich I had found it necessary to preserve words by memory alone. So Irepeated my ridiculous lines over and over again, until the eloquentfeeling of which they were the graceless expression inspired me toaccompany my recital with gestures. Six--eight--ten--a dozen--twentytimes I repeated these lines, each time with additional emotion andgestures, when a thin voice, very near me, remarked:--

"Ocken Hawwy, you does djust as if you was swimmin'. "

Turning, I beheld my nephew Toddie--how long he had been behind me Ihad no idea. He looked earnestly into my eyes and then remarked:--

"Ocken Hawwy, your faysh is wed, djust like a wosy-posy. "

"Let's go right in to breakfast, Toddie, " said I aloud, as I grumbledto myself about the faculty of observation which Tom's children seemedto have. 

Immediately after breakfast I despatched Mike with a note to Alice, informing her that I would be glad to drive her to the Falls in theafternoon calling for her at two. Then I placed myself unreservedly atthe disposal of the boys for the morning, it being distinctlyunderstood that they must not expect to see me between lunch anddinner. I was first instructed to harness the goat, which order Iobeyed, and I afterward watched that grave animal as he drew my nephewsup and down the carriage-road, his countenance as demure as if he hadno idea of suddenly departing when my back should be turned. The wheelsof the goat carriage uttered the most heartrending noises I had everheard from ungreased axle; so I persuaded the boys to dismount, andsubmit to the temporary unharnessing of the goat, while I shouldlubricate the axles. Half an hour of dirty work sufficed, with suchassistance as I gained from juvenile advice, to accomplish the taskproperly; then I put the horned steed into the shafts, Budge crackedthe whip, the carriage moved off without noise, and Toddie began toweep bitterly. 

"Cawwidge is all bwoke, " said he; "WHEELSH DON'T SING A BITTIE NOMORE, " while Budge remarked:--

"I think the carriage sounds kind o' lonesome now, don't you, UncleHarry?"

"Uncle Harry, " asked Budge, a little later in the morning, "do you knowwhat makes the thunder?"

"Yes, Budge--when two clouds go bump into each other they make a gooddeal of noise, and they call it thunder. "

"That ain't it at all, " said Budge. "When it thundered yesterday it wasbecause the Lord was riding along through the sky and the wheels of hiscarriage made an awful noise, an' that was the thunder. "

"Don't like nashty old 'funder, " remarked Toddie. "It goesh into ourcellar an' makesh all ze milk sour--Maggie said so. An' so I can't hazhno nice white tea for my brepspup. "

"I should think you'd like the Lord to go a ridin', Toddie, with allthe angels running after him, " said Budge, "even if the thunder DOESmake the milk sour. And 'tis so splendid to SEE the thunder bang. "

"How do you see it, Budge?" I asked. 

"Why, don't you know when the thunder bangs, and then you see an awfulbright place in the sky?--that's where the Lord's carriage gives anawful pound, and makes little cracks through the floor of heaven, an'we see right in. But what's the reason we can't ever see anybodythrough the cracks, Uncle Harry?"

"I don't know--old fellow, --I guess it's because it isn't cracks inheaven that look so bright, --it's a kind of fire that the Lord makes upin the clouds. You'll know all about it when you get bigger. "

"Well, I'll feel awful sorry if 'tain't anything but fire. Do you knowthat funny song my papa sings 'bout:--

 "'Roarin' thunders, lightenin's blazes, Shout the great Creator's praises?'"

I don't know zactly what it means, but I think it's kind o' splendid, don't you?"

I DID know the old song; I had heard it in a Western camp-meeting, whenscarcely older than Budge, and it left upon my mind just the effect itseemed to have done on his. I blessed his sympathetic young heart, andsnatched him into my arms. Instantly he became all boy again. 

"Uncle Harry, " he shouted, "you crawl on your hands and knees and playyou was a horse, and I'll ride on your back. "

"No, thank you, Budge, not on the dirt. "

"Then let's play menagerie, an' you be all the animals. "

To this proposition I assented, and after hiding ourselves in one ofthe retired angles of the house, so that no one could know who wasguilty of disturbing the peace by such dire noises, the performancecommenced. I was by turns a bear, a lion, a zebra, an elephant, dogs ofvarious kinds, and a cat. As I personated the latter-named animals, Toddie echoed my voice. 

"Miauw! Miauw!" said he, "dat's what cats saysh when they goesh downwells. "

"Faith, an' it's him that knows, " remarked Mike, who had invitedhimself to a free seat in the menagerie, and assisted in the applausewhich had greeted each personation. 

"Would ye belave it, Misther Harry, dhat young dhivil got out the frontdoor one mornin' afore sunroise, all in his little noight-gown, an'wint over to the doctor's an' picked up a kitten lyin' on the kitchendoor-mat, an' throwed it down dhe well. The docthor wasn't home, butthe missis saw him, an' her heart was dhat tindher that she hurried outand throwed boords down for dhe poor little baste to stand on, an' letdown a hoe on a sthring, an' whin she got dhe poor little dhing out, she was dhat faint that she dhrapped on dhe grass. An' it cost Mr. Lawrence nigh onto thirty dollars to have dhe docthor's well clanedout. "

"Yes, " said Toddie, who had listened carefully to Mike's recital, "an'kitty-kitty said, 'Miauw! Miauw!' when she goed down ze well. An' MishDoctor sed, 'Bad boy--go home--don't never tum to my housh nomore, '--dat's what she said to me. Now be some more animals, OckenHawwy. Can't you be a whay-al?"

"Whales don't make a noise, Toddie; they only splash about in thewater. "

"Zen grop in the cistern an' 'plash, can't you?"

Lunch-time, and after it the time for Toddie to take his nap. PoorBudge was bereft of a playmate, for the doctor's little girl was sick;so he quietly followed me about with a wistful face, that almostpersuaded me to take him with me on my drive--OUR drive. Had hegrumbled, I would have felt less uncomfortable; but there's nothing sotouching and overpowering to either gods or men as the spectacle ofmute resignation. At last, to my great relief, he opened his mouth. 

"Uncle Harry, " said he, "do you 'spose folks ever get lonesome inheaven?"

"I guess not, Budge. "

"Do little boy-angels' papas an' mammas go off visitin', an' stay solong?"

"I don't exactly know, Budge, but if they do, the little boy-angelshave plenty of other little boy-angels to play with, so they can't verywell be lonesome. "

"Well, I don't b'leeve they could make ME happy, when I wanted to seemy papa an' mamma. When I haven't got anybody to play with, then I wantpapa an' mamma SO bad--so bad as if I would die if I didn't see 'emright away. "

I was shaving, and only half-done, but I hastily wiped off my face, dropped into a rocking-chair, took the forlorn little boy into my arms, and kissed him, caressed him, sympathized with him, and devoted myselfentirely to the task and pleasure of comforting him. His sober littleface gradually assumed a happier appearance; his lips parted in suchlines as no old master ever put upon angel lips; his eyes from beingdim and hopeless, grew warm and lustrous and melting. At last he said:--

"Uncle Harry, I'm EVER so happy now. An' can't Mike go around with meand the goat all the time you're away riding? An' bring us home somecandy, an' marbles--oh, yes--an' a new dog. "

Anxious as I was to hurry off to meet my engagement, I was ratherdisgusted as I unseated Budge and returned to my razor. So long as hewas lonesome and I was his only hope, words couldn't express hisdevotion, but the moment he had, through my efforts, regained hisspirits, his only use for me was to ask further favors. Yet in tryingthe poor boy, judicially, the evidence was more dangerous to humanityin general than to Budge; it threw a great deal of light upon my ownpeculiar theological puzzles, and almost convinced me that my duty wasto preach a new gospel. 

As I drove up to the steps of Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house it seemedto me a month had elapsed since last I was there, and this apparentlapse of time was all that prevented my ascribing to miraculousagencies the wonderful and delightful change that Alice's countenancehad undergone in two short days. Composure, quickness of perception, the ability to guard one's self, are indications of character which areparticularly in place in the countenance of a young lady in society, but when, without losing these, the face takes on the radiance born oflove and trust, the effect is indescribably charming--especially to theeyes of the man who causes the change. Longer, more out-of-the-wayroads between Hillcrest and the Falls I venture to say were never knownthan I drove over that afternoon, and my happy companion, who in otherdays I had imagined might one day, by her decision, alertness and forceexceed the exploits of Lady Baker or Miss Tinne, never once asked if Iwas sure we were on the right road. Only a single cloud came over herbrow, and of this I soon learned the cause. 

"Harry, " said she, pressing closer to my side, and taking an appealingtone, "do you love me well enough to endure something unpleasant for mysake?"

My answer was not verbally expressed, but its purport seemed to beunderstood and accepted, for Alice continued:--

"I wouldn't undo a bit of what's happened--I'm the happiest, proudestwoman in the world. But we HAVE been very hasty, for people who havebeen mere acquaintances. And mother is dreadfully opposed to suchaffairs--she is of the old style, you know. "

"It was all my fault, " said I. "I'll apologize promptly and handsomely. The time and agony which I didn't consume in laying siege to your heartI'll devote to the task of gaining your mother's good graces. "

The look I received in reply to this remark would have richly repaid mehad my task been to conciliate as many mothers-in-law as Brigham Youngpossesses. But her smile faded as she said:--

"You don't know what a task you have before you. Mother has a verytender heart, but it's thoroughly fenced in by proprieties. In her dayand set, courtship was a very slow, stately affair, and mother believesit the proper way now; so do I, but I admit possible exceptions, andmother doesn't. I'm afraid she won't be patient if she knows the wholetruth, yet I can't bear to keep it from her. I'm her only child, youknow. "

"DON'T keep it from her, " said I, "unless for some reason of your own. Let me tell the whole story, take all the responsibility, and acceptthe penalties, if there are any. Your mother is right in principle, ifthere IS a certain delightful exception that we know of. "

"My only fear is for YOU, " said my darling, nestling closer to me. "Shecomes of a family that can display most glorious indignation whenthere's a good excuse for it, and I can't bear to think of YOU beingthe cause of such an outbreak. "

"I've faced the ugliest of guns in honor of one form of love, littlegirl, " I replied, "and I could do even more for the sentiment for whichYOU'RE to blame. And for my own sake, I'd rather endure anything than asense of having deceived any one, especially the mother of such adaughter. Besides, you're her dearest treasure, and she has a right toknow of even the least thing that in any way concerns you. "

"And you're a noble fellow, and--" Whatever other sentiment mycompanion failed to put into words was impulsively and eloquentlycommunicated by her dear eyes. 

But oh, what a cowardly heart your dear cheek rested upon an instantlater, fair Alice! Not for the first time in my life did I shrink andtremble at the realization of what duty imperatively required--not forthe first time did I go through a harder battle than was ever foughtwith sword and cannon, and a battle with greater possibilities ofdanger than the field ever offered. I won it, as a man must do in suchfights, if he deserves to live; but I could not help feelingconsiderably sobered on our homeward drive. 

We neared the house, and I had an insane fancy that instead of drivingtwo horses I was astride of one, with spurs at my heels and a saber atmy side. 

"Let me talk to her NOW, Alice, won't you? Delays are only cowardly. "

A slight trembling at my side, --an instant of silence that seemed anhour, yet within which I could count but six footfalls, and Alicereplied:--

"Yes; if the parlor happens to be empty, I'll ask her if she won't goin and see you a moment. " Then there came a look full of tenderness, wonder, painful solicitude, and then two dear eyes filled with tears. 

"We're nearly there, darling, " said I, with a reassuring embrace. 

"Yes, and you sha'n't be the only hero, " said she, straighteningherself proudly, and looking a fit model for a Cenobia. 

As we passed from behind a clump of evergreens which hid the house fromour view, I involuntarily exclaimed, "Gracious!" Upon the piazza stoodMrs. Mayton; at her side stood my two nephews, as dirty in face, inclothing, as I had ever seen them. I don't know but that for a moment Ifreely forgave them, for their presence might grant me the respitewhich a sense of duty would not allow me to take. 

"Wezhe comed up to wide home wif you, " exclaimed Toddie, as Mrs. Maytongreeted me with an odd mixture of courtesy, curiosity and humor. Aliceled the way into the parlor whispered to her mother, and commenced tomake a rapid exit, when Mrs. Mayton called her back, and motioned herto a chair. Alice and I exchanged sidelong glances. 

"Alice says you wish to speak with me, Mr. Burton, " said she. "I wonderwhether the subject is one upon which I have this afternoon received aminute verbal account from the elder Master Lawrence. "

"If you refer to an apparently unwarrantable intrusion upon your familycircle, Mrs. --"

"I do, sir, " replied the old lady. "Between the statements made by thatchild, and the hitherto unaccountable change in my daughter's looksduring two or three days, I think I have got at the truth of thematter. If the offender were any one else, I should be inclined to besevere; but we mothers of only daughters are apt to have a prettydistinct idea of the merits of young men, and--"

The old lady dropped her head; I sprang to my feet, seized her hand, and reverently kissed it; then Mrs. Mayton, whose only son had diedfifteen years before, raised her head and adopted me in the mannerpeculiar to mothers, while Alice burst into tears and kissed us both. 

A few moments later, as three happy people were occupying conventionalattitudes, and trying to compose faces which should bear the inspectionof whoever might happen into the parlor, Mrs. Mayton observed:--

"My children, between us this matter is understood, but I must cautionyou against acting in such a way as to make the engagement public atonce. "

"Trust me for that, " hastily exclaimed Alice. 

"And me, " said I. 

"I have no doubt of the intentions and discretion of either of you, "resumed Mrs. Mayton, "but you cannot possibly be too cautious. " Here aloud laugh from the shrubbery under the windows drowned Mrs. Mayton'svoice for a moment, but she continued: "Servants, children, "--here shesmiled, and I dropped my head--"persons you may chance to meet--"

Again the laugh broke forth under the window. 

"What CAN those girls be laughing at?" exclaimed Alice, moving towardthe window, followed by her mother and me. 

Seated in a semicircle on the grass were most of the ladies boarding atMrs. Clarkson's, and in front of them stood Toddie, in that high stateof excitement to which sympathetic applause always raises him. 

"Say it again, " said one of the ladies. 

Toddie put on an expression of profound wisdom, made violent gestureswith both hands and repeated the following, with frequentgesticulations:--

 "Azh wadiant azh ze matchless wose Zat poeck-artuss fanshy; Azh fair azh whituss lily-blowzh; Azh moduss azh a panzhy; Azh pure azh dew zat hides wiffin Awwahwah's sun-tissed tsallish; Azh tender azh ze pwimwose fweet All zish, and moah, izh Alish. "

I gasped for breath. 

"Who taught you all that, Toddie?" asked one of the ladies. 

"Nobody didn't taught me--I lyned [Footnote: learned] it. "

"When did you learn it?"

"Lyned it zish mornin'. Ocken Hawwy said it over, an' over, an' over, djust yots of timezh, out in ze garden. "

The ladies all exchanged glances--my lady readers will understand justhow, and I assure gentlemen that I did not find their glances at allhard to read. Alice looked at me inquiringly, and she now tells me thatI blushed sheepishly and guiltily. Poor Mrs. Mayton staggered to achair, and exclaimed:--

"Too late! too late!"

Considering their recent achievements, Toddie and Budge were a verymodest couple as I drove them home that evening. Budge even made someattempt at apologizing for their appearance, saying that they couldn'tfind Maggie, and COULDN'T wait any longer; but I assured him that noapology was necessary. I was in such excellent spirits that my feelingbecame contagious; and we sang songs, told stories, and playedridiculous games most of the evening, paying but little attention tothe dinner that was set for us. 

"Uncle Harry, " said Budge, suddenly, "do you know we haven't eversung, --'Drown old Pharaoh's Army Hallelujah, ' since you've been here?Let's do it now. " "All right, old fellow. " I knew the song--such asthere was of it--and its chorus, as EVERY one does who ever heard theJubilee Singers render it; but I scarcely understood the meaning of thepreparations which Budge made. He drew a large rocking-chair into themiddle of the room, and exclaimed:--

"There, Uncle Harry--you sit down. Come along, Tod--you sit on thatknee, and I'll sit on this. Lift up both hands, Tod, like I do. Nowwe're all ready, Uncle Harry. "

I sang the first line, --

"When Israel was in bondage, they cried unto de Lord, " without anyassistance, but the boys came in powerfully on the refrain, beatingtime simultaneously with their four fists upon my chest. I cannot thinkit strange that I suddenly ceased singing, but the boys viewed myaction from a different standpoint. 

"What makes you stop, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. 

"Because you hurt me badly, my boy; you mustn't do that again. "

"Why, I guess you ain't very strong; that's the way we do to papa, an'it don't hurt HIM. "

Poor Tom! No wonder he grows flat--chested. 

"Guesh you's a ky--baby, " suggested Toddie. 

This imputation I bore with meekness, but ventured to remark that itwas bed-time. After allowing a few moments for the usual expressions ofdissent, I staggered up--stairs with Toddie in my arms, and Budge on myback, both boys roaring in refrain of the negro hymn:--

"I'm a rolling through an Unfriendly World. "

The offer of a stick of candy to whichever boy was first undressed, caused some lively disrobing, after which each boy received the prize. Budge bit a large piece, wedged it between his cheek and his teeth, closed his eyes, folded his hands on his breast, and prayed:--

"Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' Toddie an' me, an' that turtleUncle Harry found: and bless that lovely lady Uncle Harry goes ridingwith an' make 'em take me too, an' bless that nice old lady with whitehair, that cried, and said I was a smart boy. Amen. "

Toddie sighed as he drew his stick of candy from his lips; then he shuthis eyes and remarked:

"Dee Lord, blesh Toddie, an' make him good boy, an' blesh zem ladieszat told me to say it aden;" the particular "it" referred to being wellunderstood by at least three adults of my acquaintances. 

The course of Budge's interview with Mrs. Mayton was afterward relatedby that lady, as follows:--She was sitting in her own room (which wason the parlor-floor, and in the rear of the house), and was leisurelyreading "Fated to be Free, " when she accidentally dropped her glasses. Stooping to pick them up, she became aware that she was not alone. Asmall, very dirty, but good-featured boy stood before her, his handsbehind his back, and an inquiring look in his eyes. 

"Run away, little boy, " said she. "Don't you know it isn't polite toenter rooms without knocking?"

"I'm lookin' for my uncle, " said Budge, in most melodious accents, "an'the other ladies said you would know when he would come back. "

"I'm afraid they were making fun of you--or me, " said the old lady, alittle severely. "I don't know anything about little boys' uncles. Nowrun away, and don't disturb me any more. "

"Well, " continued Budge, "they said your little girl went with him, andyou'd know when SHE would come back. "

"I haven't any little girl, " said the old lady, her indignation, at asupposed joke, threatening to overcome her dignity. "Now, go away. "

"She isn't a VERY little girl, " said Budge, honestly anxious toconciliate; "that is, she's bigger'n _I_ am, but they said you was hermother, an' so she's you're little girl, isn't she? _I_ think she'slovely, too. "

"Do you mean Miss Mayton?" asked the lady, thinking she had a possibleclue to the cause of Budge's anxiety. 

"Oh, yes--that's her name--I couldn't think of it, " eagerly repliedBudge. "An' ain't she AWFUL nice?--_I_ KNOW she is!"

"Your judgment is quite correct, considering your age, " said Mrs. Mayton, exhibiting more interest in Budge than she had heretofore done. "But what makes you think she is nice? You are rather younger than hermale admirers usually are. "

"Why, my Uncle Harry told me so, " replied Budge, "an' HE knowsEVERYthing. "

Mrs. Mayton grew vigilant at once, and dropped her book. 

"Who IS your Uncle Harry, little boy?"

"He's Uncle Harry; don't you know him? He can make nicer whistles thanmy papa can. An' he found a turtle--"

"Who is your papa?" interrupted the lady. 

"Why, he's papa--I thought everybody knew who HE was. "

"What is your name?" asked Mrs. Mayton. 

"John Burton Lawrence, " promptly answered Budge. 

Mrs. Mayton wrinkled her brows for a moment, and finally asked:--

"Is Mr. Burton the uncle you are looking for?"

"I don't know any Mr. Burton, " said Budge, a little dazed; "uncle ismamma's brother, an' he's been livin' at our house ever since mamma an'papa went off visitin', an' he goes ridin' in our carriage, an'--"

"Humph!" remarked the lady, with so much emphasis that Budge ceasedtalking. A moment later she said:--

"I didn't mean to interrupt you, little boy; go on. "

"An' he rides with just the loveliest lady that ever was. HE thinks so, an' _I_ KNOW she is. An' he 'spects her. "

"What?" exclaimed the old lady. 

"--'Spects her, I say--that's what HE says. _I_ say 'spects means justwhat _I_ call LOVE. Cos if it don't, what makes him give her hugs andkisses?"

Mrs. Mayton caught her breath, and did not reply for a moment. At lastshe said:--

"How do you know he--gives her hugs and kisses?"

"Cos I saw him, the day Toddie hurt his finger in the grass-cutter. An'he was so happy that be bought me a goat-carriage next morning--I'llshow it to you if you come down to our stable, an' I'll show you thegoat too. An' he bought--"

Just here Budge stopped, for Mrs. Mayton put her handkerchief to hereyes. Two or three moments later she felt a light touch on her knee, and, wiping her eyes, saw Budge looking sympathetically into her face. 

"I'm awful sorry you feel bad, " said he. 

"Are you 'fraid to have your little girl ridin' so long?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Mrs. Mayton, with great decision. 

"Well, you needn't be, " said Budge, "for Uncle Harry's awful carefulan' smart. "

"He ought to be ashamed of himself!" exclaimed the lady. 

"I guess he is, then, " said Budge, "cos he's ev'rything he ought to be. He's awful careful. T'other day, when the goat ran away, an' Toddie an'me got in the carriage with them, he held on to her tight, so shecouldn't fall out. "

Mrs. Mayton brought her foot down with a violent stamp. 

"I know you'd 'spect HIM, if you knew how nice he was, " continuedBudge. "He sings awful funny songs, an' tells splendid stories. "

"Nonsense!" exclaimed the angry mother. 

"They ain't no nonsense at all, " said Budge. "I don't think it's nicefor to say that, when his stories are always about Joseph, an' Abraham, an' Moses, an' when Jesus was a little boy, an' the Hebrew children, an' lots of people that the Lord loved. An' he's awful 'fectionate, too. "

"Yes, I suppose so, " said Mrs. Mayton. 

"When we says our prayers we prays for the nice lady what he 'spects, an' he likes us to do it, " continued Budge. 

"How do you know?" demanded Mrs. Mayton. 

"Cos he always kisses us when we do it, an' that's what my papa doeswhen he likes what we pray. "

Mrs. Mayton's mind became absorbed in earnest thought, but Budge hadnot said all that was in his heart. 

"An' when Toddie or me tumbles down an' hurts ourselves, 'tain't nomatter what Uncle Harry's doin' he runs right out an' picks us up an'comforts us. He froed away a cigar the other day, he was in such ahurry when a wasp stung me, an' Toddie picked the cigar up and ate it, an' it made him AWFUL sick. "

The last-named incident did not affect Mrs. Mayton deeply, perhaps onthe score of inapplicability to the question before her. Budge wenton:--

"An' wasn't he good to me today? Just cos I was forlorn, cos I hadn'tnobody to play with, an' wanted to die an' go to heaven, he stoppedshavin', so as to comfort me. "

Mrs. Mayton had been thinking rapidly and seriously, and her heart hadrelented somewhat toward the principal offender. 

"Suppose, " said she, "that I don't let my little girl go riding withhim any more?"

"Then, " said Budge, "I know he'll be awful, awful unhappy, an' I'll beawful sorry for him, cos nice folks oughtn't to be made unhappy. "

"Suppose, then, that I DO let her go, " said Mrs. Mayton. 

"Then I'll give you a whole stomachful of kisses for being so good tomy uncle, " said Budge. And assuming that the latter course would be theone adopted by Mrs. Mayton, Budge climbed into her lap and began atonce to make payment. 

"Bless your dear little heart!" exclaimed Mrs. Mayton; "you're of thesame blood, and it IS good, if it IS rather hasty. "

As I arose the next morning, I found a letter under my door. Disappointed that it was not addressed in Alice's writing, I wasnevertheless glad to get a word from my sister, particularly as theletter ran as follows:--

"JULY 1, 1875. 

"DEAR OLD BROTHER, --I've been recalling a fortnight's experience WEonce had of courtship in a boarding-house, and I've determined to cutshort our visit here, hurry home, and give you and Alice a chance ortwo to see each other in parlors where there won't be a likelihood ofthe dozen or two interruptions you must suffer each evening now. Tomagrees with me, like the obedient old darling that he is; so pleasehave the carriage at Hillcrest station for us at 11:40 Friday morning. Invite Alice and her mother for me to dine with us Sunday, --we'll bringthem home from church with us. 

"Lovingly, your sister, HELEN. 

"P. S. Of course you'll have my darlings in the carriage to receive me. 

"P. P. S. WOULD it annoy you to move into the best guest-chamber?--Ican't bear to sleep where I can't have THEM within reach. "

Friday morning they intended to arrive, --blessings on their thoughtfulhearts!--and THIS was Friday. I hurried into the boys' room, andshouted:--

"Toddie! Budge! who do you think is coming to see you this morning?"

"Who?" asked Budge. 

"Organ-grinder?" queried Toddie. 

"No, your papa and mamma. "

Budge looked like an angel in an instant, but Toddie's eyes twitched alittle, and he mournfully murmured:--

"I fought it wash an organ-grinder. "

"O Uncle Harry!" said Budge, springing out of bed in a perfect deliriumof delight, "I believe if my papa an' mamma had stayed away any longer, I believe I would DIE. I've been SO lonesome for 'em that I haven'tknown what to do--I've cried whole pillowsful about it, right here inthe dark. "

"Why, my poor old fellow, " said I, picking him up and kissing him, "whydidn't you come and tell Uncle Harry, and let him try to comfort you?"

"I COULDN'T, " said Budge; "when I gets lonesome, it feels as if mymouth was all tied up, an' a great big stone was right in here. " AndBudge put his hand on his chest. 

"If a big'tone wazh inshide of ME, " said Toddie, "I'd take it out an'frow it at the shickens. "

"Toddie, " said I, "aren't you glad papa an' mamma are coming?"

"Yesh, " said Toddie, "I fink it'll be awfoo nish. Mamma always bwingsme candy fen she goes away anyfere. "

"Toddie, you're a mercenary wretch. "

"AIN'T a mernesary wetch; Izhe Toddie Yawncie. "

Toddie made none the less haste in dressing than his brother, however. Candy was to him what some systems of theology are to theiradherents--not a very lofty motive of action but sweet, and somethinghe could fully understand; so the energy displayed in getting himselftangled up in his clothes was something wonderful. 

"Stop, boys, " said I, "you must have on clean clothes to-day. You don'twant your father and mother to see you all dirty, do you?"

"Of course not, " said Budge. 

"Oh, Izh I goin' to be djessed up all nicey?" asked Toddie. "Goody!goody! goody!"

I always thought my sister Helen had an undue amount of vanity, andhere it was reappearing in the second generation. 

"An' I wantsh my shoes made all nigger, " said Toddie. 

"What?"

"Wantsh my shoesh made all nigger wif a bottle-bwush, too, " said Toddie. 

I looked appealingly at Budge, who answered:--

"He means he wants his shoes blacked, with the polish that's in abottle, an' you rub it on with a brush. "

"An' I wantsh a thath on, " continued Toddie. 

"Sash, he means, " said Budge. "He's awful proud. "

"An' Ize doin' to wear my takker-hat, " said Toddie. "An' my wed djuvs. "

"That's his tassel-hat an' his red gloves, " continued the interpreter. 

"Toddie, you can't wear gloves such hot days as these, " said I. 

A look of inquiry was speedily followed by Toddie's own unmistakablepreparations for weeping; and as I did not want his eyes dimmed whenhis mother looked into them I hastily exclaimed:--

"Put them on, then--put on the mantle of rude Boreas, if you choose;but don't go to crying. "

"Don't want no mantle-o'-wude-bawyusses, " declared Toddie, following mephonetically, "wantsh my own pitty cozhesh, an' nobody eshesh. "

"O Uncle Harry!" exclaimed Budge, "I want to bring mamma home in mygoat-carriage!"

"The goat isn't strong enough, Budge, to draw mamma and you. "

"Well, then, let me drive down to the depot just to SHOW papa an' mammaI've got a goat-carriage--I'm sure mamma would be very unhappy when shefound out I had one, and she hadn't seen it first thing. "

"Well, I guess you may follow me down, Budge, but you must drive verycarefully. "

"Oh, yes--I wouldn't get us hurt when mamma was coming, for ANYthing. ""Now, boys, " said I, "I want you to stay in the house and play thismorning. If you go out of doors you'll get yourselves dirty. "

"I guess the sun'll be disappointed if it don't have us to look at, "suggested Budge. 

"Never mind, " said I, "the sun's old enough to have learned to bepatient. "

Breakfast over, the boys moved reluctantly away to the play-room, whileI inspected the house and grounds pretty closely, to see thateverything should at least fail to do my management discredit. A dollargiven to Mike and another to Maggie were of material assistance in thiswork, so I felt free to adorn the parlors and Helen's chamber withflowers. As I went into the latter room I heard some one at thewash-stand, which was in the alcove, and on looking I saw Toddiedrinking the last of the contents of a goblet which contained adark-colored mixture. 

"Ize takin' black medshin, " said Toddie; "I likes black medshin awfoomuts. "

"What do you make it of?" I asked, with some sympathy, and tracingparental influence again. When Helen and I were children we spent hoursin soaking liquorice in water and administering it as medicine. 

"Makesh it out of shoda mitsture, " said Toddie. 

This was another medicine of our childhood days, but one preparedaccording to physician's prescription, and not beneficial when taken adlibitum. As I took the vial--a two-ounce one--I asked:--

"How much did you take, Toddie?"

"Took whole bottoo full--twas nysh, " said he. 

Suddenly the label caught my eye--it read PAREGORIC. In a second I hadsnatched a shawl, wrapped Toddie in it, tucked him under my arm, andwas on my way to the barn. In a moment more I was on one of the horsesand galloping furiously to the village, with Toddie under one arm, hisyellow curls streaming in the breeze. People came out and stared asthey did at John Gilpin, while one old farmer whom I met turned histeam about, whipped up furiously, and followed me, shouting "Stopthief!" I afterward learned that he took me to be one of the abductorsof Charley Ross, with the lost child under my arm, and that visions ofthe $20, 000 reward floated before his eyes. In front of an apothecary'sI brought the horse suddenly upon his haunches, and dashed in, exclaiming:--

"Give this child a strong emetic--quick. He's swallowed poison!"

The apothecary hurried to his prescription-desk, while amotherly-looking Irish woman upon whom he had been waiting, exclaimed, "Holy Mither! I'll run an' fetch Father O'Kelley, " and hurried out. Meanwhile Toddie, upon whom the medicine had not commenced to takeeffect, had seized the apothecary's cat by the tail, which operationresulted in a considerable vocal protest from that animal. 

The experiences of the next few moments were more pronounced andrevolutionary than pleasing to relate in detail. It is sufficient tosay that Toddie's weight was materially diminished, and that hiscomplexion was temporarily pallid. Father O'Kelley arrived at a briskrun, and was honestly glad to find that his services were not required, although I assured him that if Catholic baptism and a sprinkling ofholy water would improve Toddie's character, I thought there was excusefor several applications. We rode quietly back to the house, and whileI was asking Maggie to try to coax Toddie into taking a nap, I heardthe patient remark to his brother:--

"Budgie, down to the village I was a whay-al. I didn't froe up Djonah, but I froed up a whole floor full of uvver fings. " During the hourwhich passed before it was time to start for the depot, my soleattention was devoted to keeping the children from soiling theirclothes; but my success was so little, that I lost my temper entirely. First they insisted upon playing on a part of the lawn which the sunhad not yet reached. Then, while I had gone into the house for a matchto light my cigar, Toddie had gone with his damp shoes into the middleof the road, where the dust was ankle deep. Then they got upon theirhands and knees on the piazza and played bear. Each one wanted to picka bouquet for his mother, and Toddie took the precaution to smell everyflower he approached--an operation which caused him to get his nosecovered with lily-pollen, so that he looked like a badly usedprize-fighter. In one of their spasms of inaction, Budge asked:--

"What makes some of the men in church have no hair on the tops of theirheads, Uncle Harry?"

"Because, " said I, pausing long enough to shake Toddie for trying toget my watch out of my pocket, "because they have bad little boys tobother them all the time, so their hair drops out. "

"I dess MY hairs is a-goin' to drop out pitty soon, then, " remarkedToddie, with an injured air. 

"Harness the horses, Mike, " I shouted. 

"An' the goat, too, " added Budge. 

Five minutes later I was seated in the carriage, or rather in Tom'stwo-seated open wagon. "Mike, " I shouted, "I forgot to tell Maggie tohave some lunch ready for the folks when they get here--run, tell her, quick, won't you?"

"Oye, oye, sur, " said Mike, and off he went. 

"Are you all ready, boys?" I asked. 

"In a minute, " said Budge; "soon as I fix this. Now, " he continued, getting into his seat, and taking the reins and whip, "go ahead. "

"Wait a moment, Budge--put down that whip, and don't touch the goatwith it once on the way. I'm going to drive very slowly--there's plentyof time, and all you need to do is to hold your reins. "

"All right, " said Budge, "but I like to look like mans when I drive. "

"You may do that when somebody can run beside you. Now!"

The horses started at a gentle trot, and the goat followed veryclosely. When within a minute of the depot, however, the train sweptin. I had intended to be on the platform to meet Tom and Helen, but mywatch was evidently slow. I gave the horses the whip, looked behind andsaw the boys were close upon me, and I was so near the platform when Iturned my head that nothing but the sharpest of turns saved me from asevere accident. The noble animals saw the danger as quickly as I did, however, and turned in marvelously small space; as they did so, I heardtwo hard thumps upon the wooden wall of the little depot, heard alsotwo frightful howls, saw both my nephews considerably mixed up on theplatform, while the driver of the Bloom-Park stage growled in my ear:--

"What in thunder did you let 'em hitch that goat to your axle-tree for?"

I looked, and saw the man spoke with just cause. How the goat's headand shoulders had maintained their normal connection during the lastminute of my drive, I leave for naturalists to explain. I had no timeto meditate on the matter just then, for the train had stopped. Fortunately the children had struck on their heads, and theLawrence-Burton skull is a marvel of solidity. I set them upon theirfeet, brushed them off with my hands, promised them all the candy theycould eat for a week, wiped their eyes, and hurried them to the otherside of the depot. Budge rushed at Tom, exclaiming:--

"See my goat, papa!"

Helen opened her arms, and Toddie threw himself into them, sobbing:--

"Mam--MA! shing 'Toddie one-boy-day!'"

How uncomfortable a man CAN feel in the society of a dearly-lovedsister and an incomparable brother-in-law I never imagined until thatshort drive. Helen was somewhat concerned about the children, but shefound time to look at me with so much of sympathy, humor, affection, and condescension that I really felt relieved when we reached thehouse. I hastily retired to my own room, but before I had shut the doorHelen was with me, and her arms were about my neck; before the dear oldgirl removed them we had grown far nearer to each other than we hadever been before. 

And how gloriously the rest of the day passed off. We had a delightfullittle lunch, and Tom brought up a bottle of Roederer, and Helen didn'tremonstrate when he insisted on its being drank from her finestglasses, and there were toasts drank to "Her" and "Her Mother, " and tothe Benedict that was to be. And then Helen proposed "the makers of thematch--Budge and Toddie!" which was honored with bumpers. The gentlementoasted did not respond, but they stared so curiously that I sprangfrom my chair and kissed them soundly, upon which Tom and Helenexchanged significant glances. 

Then Helen walked down to Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house, all for thepurpose of showing a lady there with a skirt to make over just how shehad seen a similar garment rearranged exquisitely. And Alice strolleddown to the gate with her to say good-by; and they had so much to talkabout that Helen walked Alice nearly to our house, and then insisted onher coming the rest of the way so she might be driven home. And thenMike was sent back with a note to say to Mrs. Mayton that her daughterhad been prevailed upon to stay to evening dinner, but would be senthome under capable escort. And after dinner was over and the childrenput to bed, Tom groaned that he MUST attend a road-board meeting, andHelen begged us to excuse her just a minute while she ran into thedoctor's to ask how poor Mrs. Brown had been doing, and she consumedthree hours and twenty-five minutes in asking, bless her sympatheticsoul!

The dreaded ending of my vacation did not cause me as many pangs as Ihad expected. Helen wanted to know one evening why, if her poor, dearTom could go back and forth to the city to business every day, her lazybig brother couldn't go back and forth to Hillcrest daily, if she wereto want him as a boarder for the remainder of the season. Although Ihad for years inveighed against the folly of cultivated people leavingthe city to find residences, Helen's argument was unanswerable and Isubmitted. I did even more; I purchased a lovely bit of ground (thoughthe deed stands in Tom's name for the present), and Tom has brought upseveral plans of cottage-houses, and every evening they are spread onthe dining-room table, and there gather round them four people, amongwhom are a white-goods salesman, and a young lady with the brightest ofeyes and cheeks full of roses and lilies. This latter-named personagehas her own opinions of the merits of all plans suggested, and insistedthat whatever plan IS adopted MUST have a lovely room to be set apartas the exclusive property of Helen's boys. Young as these gentlemen areI find frequent occasions to be frightfully jealous of them, but theyare unmoved by either my frowns or persuasions--artifice alone is ableto prevent their monopolizing the time of an adorable being of whosesociety I cannot possibly have too much. She insists that when theceremony takes place in December, they shall officiate as groomsmen, and I have not the slightest doubt that she will carry her point. Infact, I confess to frequent affectionate advances toward them myself, and when I retire without first seeking their room and putting agrateful kiss upon their unconscious lips, my conscience upbraids mewith base ingratitude. To think I might yet be a hopeless bachelor hadit not been for them, is to overflow with thankfulness to the giver ofHELEN'S BABIES. 

THE END.