FOLK-TALES OF NAPOLEON

NAPOLEONDER From the Russian

THE NAPOLEON OF THE PEOPLE From the French of Honoré de Balzac

Translated With Introduction ByGEORGE KENNAN

1902

CONTENTS

NAPOLEONDERTHE NAPOLEON OF THE PEOPLE

INTRODUCTION

Most of the literature that has its origin in the life and career of agreat man may be grouped and classified under two heads: history andbiography. The part that relates to the man's actions, and to theinfluence that such actions have had in shaping the destinies of peoplesand states, belongs in the one class; while the part that derives itsinterest mainly from the man's personality, and deals chiefly with themental and moral characteristics of which his actions were the outcome, goes properly into the other. The value of the literature included inthese two classes depends almost wholly upon truth; that is, upon theprecise correspondence of the statements made with the real facts of theman's life and career. History is worse than useless if it does notaccurately chronicle and describe events; and biography is valueless andmisleading if it does not truly set forth individual character. 

There is, however, a kind of great-man literature in which truth iscomparatively unimportant, and that is the literature of popular legendand tradition. Whether it purports to be historical or biographical, orboth, it derives its interest and value from the light that it throwsupon the temperament and character of the people who originate it, rather than from the amount of truth contained in the statements thatit makes about the man. 

The folk-tales of Napoleon Bonaparte herewith presented, if judged fromthe viewpoint of the historian or the biographer, are absurdly andgrotesquely untrue; but to the anthropologist and the student of humannature they are extremely valuable as self-revelations of nationalcharacter; and even to the historian and the biographer they have someinterest as evidences of the profoundly deep impression made byNapoleon's personality upon two great peoples--the Russians and theFrench. 

The first story, which is entitled "Napoleonder, " is of Russian origin, and was put into literary form, or edited, by Alexander Amphiteatrof ofSt. Petersburg. It originally appeared as a feuilleton in the St. Petersburg "Gazette" of December 13, 1901. As a characteristic specimenof Russian peasant folk-lore, it seems to me to have more than ordinaryinterest and value. The treatment of the supernatural may seem, toOccidental readers, rather daring and irreverent, but it is perfectly inharmony with the Russian peasant's anthropomorphic conception of Deity, and should be taken with due allowance for the educational limitationsof the story-teller and his auditors. The Russian muzhik often bringsGod and the angels into his folk-tales, and does so without the leastidea of treating them disrespectfully. He makes them talk in his ownlanguage because he has no other language; and if the talk seems alittle grotesque and irreverent, it is due to the low level of thenarrator's literary culture, and not to any intention, on his part, oftreating God and the angels with levity. The whole aim of the story is amoral and religious one. The narrator is trying to show that sympathyand mercy are better than selfish ambition, and that war is not onlyimmoral but irrational. The conversation between God, the angels, andthe Devil is a mere prologue, intended to bring Napoleon and Ivan-angelon the stage and lay the foundation of the plot. The story-teller's keensense of fun and humor is shown in many little touches, but he nevermeans to be irreverent. The whole legend is set forth in the racy, idiomatic, highly elliptical language of the common Russian muzhik, andis therefore extremely difficult of translation; but I have tried topreserve, as far as possible, the spirit and flavor of the original. 

The French story was first reduced to writing--or at least put intoliterary form--by Honoré de Balzac, and appeared under the title of "TheNapoleon of the People" in the third chapter of Balzac's "CountryDoctor. " It purports to be the story of Napoleon's life and career asrelated to a group of French peasants by one of his old soldiers--a mannamed Goguelat. It covers more time chronologically than the Russianstory does, and deals much more fully and circumstantially withhistorical incidents and events: but it seems to me to be distinctlyinferior to the Russian tale in power of creative imagination, unity ofconception, skill of artistic treatment, and depth of human interest. The French peasant regards Napoleon merely as a great leader andconqueror, "created to be the father of soldiers, " and aided, if notdirectly sent, by God, to show forth the power and the glory of France. The Russian peasant, more thoughtful by nature as well as less excitableand combative in temperament, admits that Napoleon was sent on earth byGod, but connects him with one of the deep problems of life by using himto show the divine nature of sympathy and pity, and the cruelty, immorality, and unreasonableness of aggressive war. The only featurethat the two tales have in common is the recognition of the supernaturalas a controlling factor in Napoleon's life. The French peasant believesthat he had a guiding star; that he was advised and directed by afamiliar spirit in the shape of a "Red Man"; and that he was saved fromdangers and death by virtue of a secret compact with the Supreme Being. The Russian peasant asserts that he was created by the Devil, and thatGod, after having given him a soul by accident, first used him as ameans of punishing the Russian people for their sins, and then made himreally a man by inspiring him with the human feelings of sympathy andcompassion. In the French story Napoleon appears as a great militaryleader, whose life and career reflect honor and glory upon France. Inthe Russian story he is merely the leading actor in a sort of moraldrama, or historical mystery-play, intended to show the divine nature ofsympathy and compassion, the immorality of war, and the essentialsolidarity and brotherhood of all mankind. 

GEORGE KENNAN. 

 * * * * *

NAPOLEONDER[1]

[Footnote 1: The Russian peasant's name for Napoleon Bonaparte. Thefinal syllable "der" has perhaps been added because to the ear of thepeasant "Napoleon" sounds clipped and incomplete, as "Alexan" wouldsound to us without the "der. "]

Long ago--but not so very long ago; our grandfathers remember it--theLord God wanted to punish the people of the world for their wickedness. So he began to think how and by what means he could punish them, and hecalled a council of his angels and archangels to talk about it. Says thearchangel Michael to the Lord God: "Shake them up, the recreants, withan earthquake. "

"We've tried that, " says the Lord God. "Once upon a time we jolted topieces Sodom and Gomorrah, but it didn't teach them anything. Since thenpretty much all the towns have become Sodoms and Gomorrahs. "

"How about famine?" says the archangel Gabriel. 

"It would be too bad for the babies, " replies the Lord God. "Faminewould kill the babies. And, besides that, the cattle must havefood--they're not to blame. "

"Drown them with a flood, " suggests Raphael. 

"Clean impossible!" says the Lord God. "Because, in the first place, Itook an oath once that there should be no more floods, and I set therainbow in the sky for an assurance. In the second place, the rascallysinners have become cunning; they'll get on steamboats and sail all overthe flood. "

Then all the archangels were perplexed, and began to screw about intheir seats, trying to invent or think of some calamity that would bringthe wicked human race to its senses and stir up its conscience. But theyhad been accustomed, time out of mind, to do good rather than evil; theyhad forgotten all about the wickedness of the world; and they couldn'tthink of a single thing that would be of any use. 

Then suddenly up comes Ivan-angel, a simple-minded soul whom the Lord Godhad appointed to look after the Russian muzhiks. He comes up andreports: "Lord, Satan is outside there, asking for you. He doesn't dareto come in, because he smells bad [Footnote 2: That is, he brings withhim the sulphurous odor of hell. ]; so he's waiting in the entry. "

Then the Lord God was rejoiced. "Call Satan in!" he ordered. "I knowthat rogue perfectly well, and he has come in the very nick of time. Ascamp like that will be sure to think of something. "

Satan came in. His face was as black as tanned calfskin, his voice washoarse, and a long tail hung down from under his overcoat. 

"If you so order, " he says, "I'll distribute your calamities for youwith my own hands. "

"Go ahead with your distribution, " says the Lord God; "nobody shallhinder you. "

"Will you permit me, " Satan says, "to bring about an invasion offoreigners?"

The Lord God shook his finger at Satan and cried: "Is that all you canthink of? And you so wise!"

"Excuse me, " Satan says. "Why doesn't my plan show wisdom?"

"Because, " replies the Lord God, "you propose to afflict the people withwar, and war is just what they want. They're all the time fighting amongthemselves, one people with another, and that's the very thing I want topunish them for. "

"Yes, " says Satan, "they re greedy for war, but that's only because theyhave never yet seen a real warrior. Send them a regular conqueror, andthey'll soon drop their tails between their legs and cry, 'Have mercy, Lord! Save us from the man of blood!'"

The Lord God was surprised. "Why do you say, my little brother, that thepeople have never seen a real warrior? The Tsar Herod was a conqueror;the Tsar Alexander subdued a wonderful lot of people; Ivan-Tsardestroyed Kazan; Mamai-Tsar the furious came with all his hordes; andthe Tsar Peter, and the great fighter Anika--how many more conquerors doyou want?"

"I want Napoleonder, " says Satan. 

"Napoleonder!" cries the Lord God. "Who's he? Where did he come from?"

"He's a certain little man, " Satan says, "who may not be wise enough tohurt, but he's terribly fierce in his habits. "

The Lord God says to the archangel Gabriel: "Look in the Book of Life, Gabriel, and see if we've got Napoleonder written down. "

The archangel looked and looked, but he couldn't look up any suchperson. 

"There isn't any kind of Napoleonder in the Book, " he says. "Satan is aliar. We haven't got Napoleonder written down anywhere. "

Then Satan replies: "It isn't strange that you can't find Napoleonder inthe Book of Life, because you write in that Book only the names of thosewho were born of human fathers and mothers, and who have navels. Napoleonder never had a father or a mother, and, moreover, he hasn't anynavel--and that's so surprising that you might exhibit him for money. "

The Lord God was greatly astonished. "How did your Napoleonder ever getinto the world?" he says. 

"In this way, " Satan replies. "I made him, as a doll, just foramusement, out of sand. At that very time, you, Lord, happened to bewashing your holy face; and, not being careful, you let a few drops ofthe water of life splash over. They fell from heaven right exactly onNapoleonder's head, and he immediately took breath and became a man. Heis living now, not very near nor very far away, on the island of Buan, in the middle of the ocean-sea. There is a little less than a verst ofland in the island, and Napoleonder lives there and watches geese. Nightand day he looks after the geese, without eating, or drinking, orsleeping, or smoking; and his only thought is--how to conquer the wholeworld. "

The Lord God thought and thought, and then he ordered: "Bring him tome. "

Satan at once brought Napoleonder into the bright heaven. The Lord Godlooked at him, and saw that he was a military man with shining buttons. 

"I have heard, Napoleonder, " says the Lord God, "that you want toconquer the whole world. "

"Exactly so, " replies Napoleonder; "that's what I want very much todo. "

"And have you thought, " says the Lord God, "that when you go forth toconquer you will crush many peoples and shed rivers of blood?"

"That's all the same to me, " says Napoleonder; "the important thing forme is--how can I subdue the whole world. "

"And will you not feel pity for the killed, the wounded, the burned, theruined, and the dead?"

"Not in the least, " says Napoleonder. "Why should I feel pity? I don'tlike pity. So far as I can remember, I was never sorry for anybody oranything in my life, and I never shall be. "

Then the Lord God turns to the angels and says: "Messrs. Angels, thisseems to be the very fellow for our business. " Then to Napoleonder hesays: "Satan was perfectly right. You are worthy to be the instrument ofmy wrath, because a pitiless conqueror is worse than earthquake, famine, or deluge. Go back to the earth, Napoleonder; I turn over to you thewhole world, and through you the whole world shall be punished. "

Napoleonder says: "Give me armies and luck, and I'll do my best. "

Then the Lord God says: "Armies you shall have, and luck you shall have;and so long as you are merciless you shall never be defeated in battle;but remember that the moment you begin to feel sorry for the shedding ofblood--of your own people or of others--that moment your power willend. From that moment your enemies will defeat you, and you shallfinally be made a prisoner, be put into chains, and be sent back to BuanIsland to watch geese. Do you understand?"

"Exactly so, " says Napoleonder. "I understand, and I will obey. I shallnever feel pity. "

Then the angels and the archangels began to say to God: "Lord, why haveyou laid upon him such a frightful command? If he goes forth so, withoutmercy, he will kill every living soul on earth--he will leave none forseed!"

"Be silent!" replied the Lord God. "He will not conquer long. He isaltogether too brave; because he fears neither others nor himself. Hethinks he will keep from pity, and does not know that pity, in thehuman heart, is stronger than all else, and that not a man living iswholly without it. "

"But, " the archangels say, "he is not a man; he is made of sand. "

The Lord God replies: "Then you think he didn't receive a soul when mywater of life fell on his head?"

Napoleonder at once gathered together a great army speaking twelvelanguages, and went forth to war. He conquered the Germans, he conqueredthe Turks, he subdued the Swedes and the Poles. He reaped as he marched, and left bare the country through which he passed. And all the time heremembers the condition of success--pity for none. He cuts off heads, burns villages, outrages women, and tramples children under his horses'hoofs. He desolates the whole Mohammedan kingdom--and still he is notsated. Finally he marches on a Christian country--on Holy Russia. 

In Russia then the Tsar was Alexander the Blessed--the same Tsar whostands now on the top of the column in Petersburg-town and blesses thepeople with a cross, and that's why he is called "the Blessed. "

When he saw Napoleonder marching against him with twelve languages, Alexander the Blessed felt that the end of Russia was near. He calledtogether his generals and field-marshals, and said to them: "Messrs. Generals and Field-marshals, how can I check this Napoleonder? He ispressing us terribly hard. "

The generals and field-marshals reply: "We can't do anything, yourMajesty, to stop Napoleonder, because God has given him a word. "

"What kind of a word?"

"This kind: 'Bonaparty. '"

"But what does 'Bonaparty' mean, and why is a single word so terrible?"

"It means, your Majesty, six hundred and sixty-six--the number of theBeast [Footnote 3: A reference to the Beast of the Apocalypse. "Thenumber of the beast is the number of a man: and his number is Sixhundred threescore and six" (Rev. Xiii. 18). ]; and it is terriblebecause when Napoleonder sees, in a battle, that the enemy is verybrave, that his own strength is not enough, and that his own men arefalling fast [Footnote 4: Literally, "lying down with their bones. "], heimmediately conjures with this same word, 'Bonaparty, ' and at thatinstant--as soon as the word is pronounced--all the soldiers that haveever served under him and have died for him on the field of battle comeback from beyond the grave. He leads them afresh against the enemy, asif they were alive, and nothing can stand against them, because they area ghostly force, not an army of this world. "

Alexander the Blessed grew sad; but, after thinking a moment, he said:"Messrs. Generals and Field-marshals, we Russians are a people of morethan ordinary courage. We have fought with all nations, and never yetbefore any of them have we laid our faces in the dust. If God hasbrought us, at last, to fight with corpses--his holy will be done! Wewill go against the dead!"

So he led his army to the field of Kulikova, and there waited for themiscreant Napoleonder. And soon afterward, Napoleonder, the evil one, sends him an envoy with a paper saying, "Submit, AlexanderBlagoslovenni, and I will show you favor above all others. "

But Alexander the Blessed was a proud man, who held fast hisself-respect. He would not speak to the envoy, but he took the paperthat the envoy had brought, and drew on it an insulting picture, withthe words, "Is this what you want?" and sent it back to Napoleonder. 

Then they fought and slashed one another on the field of Kulikova, andin a short time or a long time our men began to overcome the forces ofthe enemy. One by one they shot or cut down all of Napoleonder'sfield-marshals, and finally drew near to Napoleonder himself. 

"Your time has come!" they cry to him. "Surrender!"

But the villain sits there on his horse, rolling his goggle-eyes like anowl, and grinning. 

"Wait a minute, " he says coolly. "Don't be in too big a hurry. A tale isshort in telling, but the deed is long a-doing. "

Then he pronounces his conjuring-word, "Bonaparty"--six hundred andsixty-six, the number of the Beast. 

Instantly there is a great rushing sound, and the earth is shaken as ifby an earthquake. Our soldiers look--and drop their hands. In all partsof the field appear threatening battalions, with bayonets shining in thesun, torn flags waving over terrible hats of fur, and tramp! tramp!tramp! on come the thousands of phantom men, with faces yellow ascamomile, and empty holes under their bushy eyebrows. 

Alexander, the Blessed Tsar, was stricken with terror. Terror-strickenwere all his generals and field-marshals. Terror-stricken also was thewhole Russian army. Shaking with fear, they wavered at the advance ofthe dead, gave way suddenly in a panic, and finally fled in whateverdirection their eyes happened to look. 

The brigand Napoleonder sat on his horse, holding his sides withlaughter, and shouted: "Aha! My old men are not to your taste! Ithought so! This isn't like playing knuckle-bones with children and oldwomen! Well, then, my honorable Messrs. Dead Men, I have never yet feltpity for any one, and you needn't show mercy to my enemies. Deal withthem after your own fashion. "

"As long as it is so, " replied the corpse-soldiers, "we are yourfaithful servants always. "

Our men fled from Kulikova-field to Pultava-field; from Pultava-field tothe famous still-water Don; and from the peaceful Don to the field ofBorodino, under the very walls of Mother Moscow. And as our men came tothese fields, one after another, they turned their faces again andagain toward Napoleonder, and fought him with such fierceness that thebrigand himself was delighted with them "God save us!" he exclaimed, "what soldiers these Russians are! I have not seen such men in any othercountry. "

But, in spite of the bravery of our troops, we were unable to stopNapoleonder's march; because we had no word with which to meet his word. In every battle we pound him, and drive him back, and get him in aslip-noose; but just as we are going to draw it tight and catch him, thefilthy, idolatrous thief bethinks himself and shouts "Bonaparty!" Thenthe dead men crawl out of their graves in full uniform, set their teeth, fix their eyes upon their officers, and charge! And where they pass thegrass withers and the stones crack. And our men are so terrified bythese unclean bodies that they can't fight against them at all. As soonas they hear that accursed word "Bonaparty, " and see the big fur hatsand the yellow faces of the dead men, they throw down their guns andrush into the woods to hide. 

"Say what you will, Alexander Blagoslovenni, " they cry, "for corpses weare not prepared. "

Alexander the Blessed reproached his men, and said: "Wait a little, brothers, before you run away. Let's exert ourselves a little more. Dogthat he is, he can't beat us always. God has set a limit for himsomewhere. To-day is his, to-morrow may be his, but after a while theluck perhaps will turn. "

Then he went to the old hermit-monks in the caves of Kiev and on theisland of Valaam, and bowed himself at the feet of all thearchimandrites and metropolitans, saying: "Pray for us, holy fathers, and beseech the Lord God to turn away his wrath; because we haven'tstrength enough to defend you from this Napoleonder. "

Then the old hermit-monks and the archimandrites and the metropolitansall prayed, with tears in their eyes, to the Lord God, and prostratedthemselves until their knees were all black and blue and there were bigbumps on their foreheads. With tearful eyes, the whole Russian people, too, from the Tsar to the last beggar, prayed God for mercy and help. And they took the sacred ikon of the Holy Mother of God of Smolensk, the pleader for the grief-stricken, and carried it to the famous fieldof Borodino, and, bowing down before it, with tearful eyes, they cried:"O Most Holy Mother of God, thou art our life and our hope! Have mercyon us, and intercede for us soon. "

And down the dark face of the ikon, from under the setting of pearls inthe silver frame, trickled big tears. And all the army and all God'speople saw the sacred ikon crying. It was a terrible thing to see, butit was comforting. 

Then the Lord God heard the wail of the Russian people and the prayersof the Holy Virgin the Mother of God of Smolensk, and he cried out tothe angels and the archangels: "The hour of my wrath has passed. Thepeople have suffered enough for their sins and have repented of theirwickedness. Napoleonder has destroyed nations enough. It's time for himto learn mercy. Who of you, my servants, will go down to the earth--whowill undertake the great work of softening the conqueror's heart?"

The older angels and the archangels didn't want to go. "Soften hisheart!" they cried. "He is made of sand--he hasn't any navel--he ispitiless--we're afraid of him!"

Then Ivan-angel stepped forward and said: "I'll go. "

At that very time Napoleonder had just gained a great victory and wasriding over the field of battle on a greyhound of a horse. He trampledwith his horse's hoofs on the bodies of the dead, without pity orregret, and the only thought in his mind was, "As soon as I have donewith Russia, I'll march against the Chinese and the white Arabs; andthen I shall have conquered exactly the whole world. "

But just at that moment he heard some one calling, "Napoleonder! ONapoleonder!" He looked around, and not far away, under a bush on alittle mound, he saw a wounded Russian soldier, who was beckoning to himwith his hand. Napoleonder was surprised. What could a wounded Russiansoldier want of him? He turned his horse and rode to the spot. "What doyou want?" he asked the soldier. 

"I don't want anything of you, " the wounded soldier replied, "except ananswer to one question. Tell me, please, what have you killed me for?"

Napoleonder was still more surprised. In the many years of hisconquering he had wounded and killed a multitude of men; but he hadnever been asked that question before. And yet this Russian soldierdidn't look as if he had anything more than ordinary intelligence. Hewas just a young, boyish fellow, with light flaxen hair and blueeyes--evidently a new recruit from some country village. 

"What do you mean--'killed you for'?" said Napoleonder. "I had to killyou. When you went into the army, didn't you take an oath that youwould die?"

"I know what oath I took, Napoleonder, and I'm not making a fuss aboutdying. But you--why did you kill me?"

"Why shouldn't I kill you, " said Napoleonder, "when you were theenemy, --that is, my foe, --come out to fight me on the field ofBorodino?"

"Cross yourself, Napoleonder!" said the young soldier. "How could I beyour foe, when there has never been any sort of quarrel between us?Until you came into our country, and I was drafted into the army, I hadnever even heard of you. And here you have killed me--and how many morelike me!"

"I killed, " said Napoleonder, "because it was necessary for me toconquer the world. "

"But what have I got to do with your conquering the world?" replied thesoldier. "Conquer it, if you want to--I don't hinder. But why did youkill me? Has killing me given you the world? The world doesn't belong tome. You're not reasonable, brother Napoleonder. And is it possible thatyou really think you can conquer the whole world?"

"I'm very much of that opinion, " replied Napoleonder. 

The little soldier smiled. "You're really stupid, Napoleonder, " he said. "I'm sorry for you. As if it were possible to conquer the whole world!"

"I'll subdue all the kingdoms, " replied Napoleonder, "and put allpeoples in chains, and then I'll reign as Tsar of all the earth. "

The soldier shook his head. "And God?" he inquired. "Will you conquerhim?"

Napoleonder was confused. "No, " he finally said. "God's will is over usall; and in the hollow of his hand we live. "

"Then what's the use of your conquering the world?" said the soldier. "God is all; therefore the world won't belong to you, but to him. Andyou'll live just so long as he has patience with you, and no longer. "

"I know that as well as you do, " said Napoleonder. 

"Well, then, " replied the soldier, "if you know it, why don't you reckonwith God?"

Napoleonder scowled. "Don't say such things to me!" he cried. "I'veheard that sanctimonious stuff before. It's of no use. You can't foolme! I don't know any such thing as pity. "

"Indeed, " said the soldier, "is it so? Have a care, Napoleonder! You areswaggering too much. You lie when you say a man can live without pity. To have a soul, and to feel compassion, are one and the same thing. Youhave a soul, haven't you?"

"Of course I have, " replied Napoleonder; "a man can't live without asoul. "

"There! you see!" said the soldier. "You have a soul, and you believe inGod. How, then, can you say you don't know any such thing as pity? Youdo know! And I believe that at this very moment, deep down in yourheart, you are mortally sorry for me; only you don't want to show it. Why, then, did you kill me?"

Napoleonder suddenly became furious. "May the pip seize your tongue, youmiscreant! I'll show you how much pity I have for you!" And, drawing apistol, Napoleonder shot the wounded soldier through the head. Then, turning to his dead men, he said: "Did you see that?"

"We saw it, " they replied; "and as long as it is so, we are yourfaithful servants always. "

Napoleonder rode on. 

At last night comes; and Napoleonder is sitting alone in his goldentent. His mind is troubled, and he can't understand what it is thatseems to be gnawing at his heart. For years he has been at war, and thisis the first time such a thing has happened. Never before has his soulbeen so filled with unrest. And to-morrow morning he must begin anotherbattle--the last terrible fight with the Tsar Alexander the Blessed, onthe field of Borodino. 

"Akh!" he thinks, "I'll show them to-morrow what a leader I am! I'lllift the soldiers of the Tsar into the air on my lances and trampletheir bodies under the feet of my horses. I'll make the Tsar himself aprisoner, and I'll kill or scatter the whole Russian people. "

But a voice seemed to whisper in his ear: "And why? Why?"

"I know that trick, " he thought. "It's that same wounded soldier again. All right. I won't give in to him. 'Why? Why?' As if I knew why!Perhaps if I knew why I shouldn't make war. "

He lay down on his bed; but hardly had he closed his eyes when he saw byhis bedside the wounded soldier--young, fair-faced, blond-haired, withjust the first faint shadow of a mustache. His forehead was pale, hislips were livid, his blue eyes were dim, and in his left temple therewas a round black hole made by the bullet from his--Napoleonder's--pistol. And the ghastly figure seemed to ask again, "Why did you kill me?"

Napoleonder turns over and over, from side to side, in his bed. He seesthat it's a bad business. He can't get rid of that soldier. And, morethan all, he wonders at himself. "What an extraordinary occurrence!" hethinks. "I've killed millions of people, of all countries and nations, without the least misgiving; and now, suddenly, one miserable soldiercomes and throws all my ideas into a tangle!"

Finally Napoleonder got up; but the confinement of his golden tentseemed oppressive. He went out into the open air, mounted his horse, androde away to the place where he had shot to death the vexatious soldier. 

"I've heard, " he said to himself, "that when a dead man appears in avision, it is necessary to sprinkle earth on the eyes of the corpse;then he'll lie quiet. "

Napoleonder rides on. The moon is shining brightly, and the bodies ofthe dead are lying on the battle-field in heaps. Everywhere he seescorruption and smells corruption. 

"And all these, " he thought, "I have killed. "

And, wonderful to say, it seems to him as if all the dead men have thesame face, --a young face with blue eyes, and blond hair, and the faintshadow of a mustache, --and they all seem to be looking at him withkindly, pitying eyes, and their bloodless lips move just a little asthey ask, without anger or reproach, "Why? Why?"

Napoleonder felt a dull, heavy pressure at his heart. He had not spiritenough left to go to the little mound where the body of the dead soldierlay, so he turned his horse and rode back to his tent; and every corpsethat he passed seemed to say, "Why? Why?"

He no longer felt the desire to ride at a gallop over the dead bodies ofthe Russian soldiers. On the contrary, he picked his way among themcarefully, riding respectfully around the remains of every man who haddied with honor on that field of blood; and now and then he even crossedhimself and said: "Akh, that one ought to have lived! What a fine fellowthat one was! He must have fought with splendid courage. And I killedhim--why?"

The great conqueror never noticed that his heart was growing softer andwarmer, but so it was. He pitied his dead enemies at last, and then theevil spirit went away from him, and left him in all respects like otherpeople. 

The next day came the battle. Napoleonder led his forces, cloud uponcloud, to the field of Borodino; but he was shaking as if in a chill. His generals and field-marshals looked at him and were filled withdismay. 

"You ought to take a drink of vodka, Napoleonder, " they say; "you don'tlook like yourself. "

When the Russian troops attacked the hordes of Napoleonder, on the fieldof Borodino, the soldiers of the great conqueror at once gave way. 

"It's a bad business, Napoleonder, " the generals and field-marshals say. "For some reason the Russians are fighting harder to-day than ever. You'd better call out your dead men. "

Napoleonder shouted at the top of his voice, "Bonaparty!"--six hundredand sixty-six, --the number of the Beast. But, cry as he would, he onlyfrightened the jackdaws. The dead men didn't come out of their graves, nor answer his call. And Napoleonder was left on the field of Borodinoalone. All his generals and field-marshals had fled, and he sat therealone on his horse, shouting, "Bonaparty! Bonaparty!"

Then suddenly there appeared beside him the smooth-faced, blue-eyed, fair-haired Russian recruit whom he had killed the day before. And theyoung soldier said: "It's useless to shout, Napoleonder. Nobody willcome. Yesterday you felt sorry for me and for my dead brothers, andbecause of your pity your corpse-soldiers no longer come at your call. Your power over them is gone. "

Then Napoleonder began to weep and sob, and cried out, "You have ruinedme, you wretched, miserable soldier!"

But the soldier (who was Ivan-angel, and not a soldier at all) replied:"I have not ruined you, Napoleonder; I have saved you. If you had goneon in your merciless, pitiless course, there would have been noforgiveness for you, either in this life or in the life to come. Now Godhas given you time for repentance. In this world you shall be punished;but there, beyond, if you repent of your sins, you shall be forgiven. "

And the angel vanished. 

Then our Don Cossacks fell on Napoleonder, dragged him from his horse, and took him to Alexander the Blessed. Some said, "Napoleonder ought tobe shot!" Others cried, "Send him to Siberia to!" But the Lord Godsoftened the heart of Alexander the Blessed, and the merciful Tsar wouldnot allow Napoleonder to be shot or sent to Siberia. He ordered that thegreat conqueror be put into an iron cage, and be carried around andexhibited to the people at country fairs. So Napoleonder was carriedfrom one fair to another for a period of thirty summers and threeyears--until he had grown quite old. Then, when he was an old man, theysent him to the island of Buan to watch geese. 

 * * * * *

THE NAPOLEON OF THE PEOPLE[1]

[Footnote 1: A story told to a group of French peasants one evening, ina barn, by Goguelat, the village postman, who had served under Napoleonin a regiment of infantry. ]

Napoleon, my friends, was born, you know, in Corsica. That's a Frenchisland, but it's warmed by the sun of Italy, and everything's as hotthere as if it were a furnace. It's a place, too, where the people killone another, from father to son, generation after generation, fornothing at all; that is, for no reason in particular except that it'stheir way. 

Well, to begin with the most wonderful part of the story, it sohappened that on the very day when Napoleon was born, his mother dreamedthat the world was on fire. She was a shrewd, clever woman, as well asthe prettiest woman of her time; and when she had this dream, shethought she'd save her son from the dangers of life by dedicating him toGod. And, indeed, that was a prophetic dream of hers! So she asked Godto protect the boy, and promised that when he grew up he shouldreestablish God's holy religion, which had then been overthrown. Thatwas the agreement they made; and although it seems strange, such thingshave happened. It's sure and certain, anyhow, that only a man who had anagreement with God could pass through the enemy's lines, and move aboutin showers of bullets and grape-shot, as Napoleon did. They swept usaway like flies, but his head they never touched at all. I had a proofof that--I myself, in particular--at Eylau, where the Emperor went up ona little hill to see how things were going. I can remember, to this day, exactly how he looked as he took out his field-glass, watched the battlefor a minute, and finally said: "It's all right! Everything is goingwell. " Then, just as he was coming back, an ambitious chap in a plumedhat, who was always following him around, and who bothered him, theysaid, even at his meals, thought he'd play smart by going up on the verysame hill; but he had hardly taken the Emperor's place when--batz!--awayhe went, plume and all!

Now follow me closely, and tell me whether what you are going to hearwas natural. 

Napoleon, you know, had promised that he'd keep his agreement with Godto himself. That's the reason why his companions and even his particularfriends--men like Duroc, Bessières, and Lannes, who were strong as barsof steel, but whom he molded to suit his purposes--all fell, like nutsfrom a shaken tree, while he himself was never even hurt. 

But that's not the only proof that he was the child of God and wasexpressly created to be the father of soldiers. Did anybody ever see hima lieutenant? Or a captain? Never! He was commander-in-chief from thestart. When he didn't look more than twenty-four years of age he wasalready an old general--ever since the taking of Toulon, where he firstbegan to show the rest of them that they didn't know anything about thehandling of cannon. 

Well, soon after that, down comes this stripling to us asgeneral-in-chief of the Army of Italy--an army that hadn't anyammunition, or bread, or shoes, or coats; a wretched army--naked as aworm. "Now, boys!" he said, "here we are, all together. I want you toget it fixed in your heads that in fifteen days more you 're going to beconquerors. You're going to have new clothes, good leggings, the best ofshoes, and a warm overcoat for every man; but in order to get thesethings you'll have to march to Milan, where they are. " So we marched. Wewere only thirty thousand bare-footed tramps, and we were going againsteighty thousand crack German soldiers--fine, well equipped men; butNapoleon, who was only Bonaparte then, breathed a spirit of--I don'tknow what--into us, and on we marched, night and day. We hit the enemyat Montenotte, thrashed 'em at Rivoli, Lodi, Arcola, and Millesimo, andstuck to 'em wherever they went. A soldier soon gets to like being aconqueror; and Napoleon wheeled around those German generals, and peltedaway at 'em, until they didn't know where to hide long enough to get alittle rest. With fifteen hundred Frenchmen, whom he made to appear agreat host (that's a way he had), he'd sometimes surround ten thousandmen and gather 'em all in at a single scoop. Then we'd take theircannon, their money, their ammunition, and everything they had that wasworth carrying away. As for the others, we chucked 'em into the water, walloped 'em on the mountains, snapped 'em up in the air, devoured 'emon the ground, and beat 'em everywhere. So at last our troops were infine feather--especially as Napoleon, who had a clever wit, made friendswith the inhabitants of the country by telling them that we had come toset them free; and then, of course, they gave us quarters and took thebest of care of us. And it was not only the men: the women took care ofus too, which showed their good judgment!

Well, it finally ended in this way: in Ventose, 1796, --which was thesame time of year that our March is now, --we were penned up in onecorner of the marmot country: but at the end of the first campaign, loand behold! we were masters of Italy, just as Napoleon had predicted. And in the month of March following--that is, in two campaigns, which wefought in a single year--he brought us in sight of Vienna. It was just aclean sweep. We had eaten up three different armies in succession, andhad wiped out four Austrian generals; one of them--a white-haired oldchap--was burned alive at Mantua like a rat in a straw mattress. We hadconquered peace, and kings were begging, on their knees, for mercy. Could a man have done all that alone? Never! He had the help of God;that's certain! He divided himself up like the five loaves of bread inthe Gospel; he planned battles at night and directed them in thedaytime: he was seen by the sentries going here and there at all hours, and he never ate or slept. When the soldiers saw all these wonderfulthings, they adopted him as their father. 

But the people at the head of the government over there in Paris, whowere looking on, said to themselves: "This schemer, who seems to havethe watchword of Heaven, is quite capable of laying his hands on France. We'd better turn him loose in Asia or America. Then maybe he'll besatisfied for a while. " So it was written that he should do just whatJesus Christ did--go to Egypt. You see how in this he resembled the Sonof God. But there's more to come. 

He gathered together all his old fire-eaters--the fellows that he hadput the spirit of the Devil into--and said to them: "Boys! They've givenus Egypt to chew on--to keep us quiet for a while; but we'll swallowEgypt in one time and two movements--just as we did Italy; All youprivate soldiers shall be princes, with lands of your own. Forward!"

"Forward, boys!" shouted the sergeants. 

So we marched to Toulon, on our way to Egypt. As soon as the Englishheard of it, they sent out all their ships of war to catch us; but whenwe embarked, Napoleon said to us: "The English will never see us; andit is only proper for you to know now that your general has a star inthe sky which will henceforth guide and protect us. "

As 't was said, so 't was done. On our way across the sea we took Malta(just as one would pick an orange in passing) to quench Napoleon'sthirst for victory; because he was a man who wanted to be doingsomething all the time. 

And so at last we came to Egypt; and then the orders were different. TheEgyptians, you know, are people who, from the beginning of the world, have had giants to rule over them, and armies like innumerable ants. Their country is a land of genii and crocodiles, and of pyramids as bigas our mountains, where they put the bodies of their dead kings to keepthem fresh--a thing that seems to please them all around. Of course youcan't deal with such people as you would with others. So when we landed, the Little Corporal said to us: "Boys! The country that you are going toconquer worships a lot of gods that must be respected. Frenchmen shouldkeep on good terms with everybody, and fight people without hurtingtheir feelings. So let everything alone at first, and by and by we'llget all there is. "

Now there was a prediction among the Egyptians down there that Napoleonwould come; and the name they had for him was Kebir Bonaberdis, whichmeans, in their lingo, "The Sultan strikes fire. " They were as muchafraid of him as they were of the Devil; so the Grand Turk, Asia, andAfrica resorted to magic, and sent against us a demon named Mody [theMahdi], who was supposed to have come down from heaven on a white horse. This horse was incombustible to bullets, and so was the Mody, and thetwo of 'em lived on weather and air. There are people who have seen 'em;but I haven't any reason, myself, to say positively that the things toldabout 'em were true. Anyhow, they were the great powers in Arabia; andthe Mamelukes wanted to make the Egyptian soldiers think that the Modycould keep them from being killed in battle, and that he was an angelsent down from heaven to fight Napoleon and get back Solomon's seal--apart of their equipment which they pretended to believe our general hadstolen. But we made 'em laugh on the wrong side of their mouths, inspite of their Mody!

They thought Napoleon could command the genii, and that he had power togo from one place to another in an instant, like a bird; and, indeed, it's a fact that he was everywhere. But how did they know that he had anagreement with God? Was it natural that they should get such an idea asthat?

It so happened, finally, that he carried off one of their queens--awoman beautiful as the sunshine. He tried, at first, to buy her, andoffered to give for her all his treasure, and a lot of diamonds as bigas pigeons' eggs; but although the Mameluke to whom she particularlybelonged had several others, he wouldn't agree to the bargain; soNapoleon had to carry her off. Of course, when things came to such apass as that, they couldn't be settled without a lot of fighting; and ifthere weren't blows enough to satisfy all, it wasn't anybody's fault. Weformed in battle line at Alexandria, at Gizeh, and in front of thePyramids. We marched in hot sunshine and through deep sand, where somegot so bedazzled that they saw water which they couldn't drink, andshade that made them sweat; but we generally chewed up the Mamelukes, and all the rest gave in when they heard Napoleon's voice. 

He took possession of Upper and Lower Egypt, Arabia, and the capitals ofkingdoms that perished long ago, where there were thousands of statuesof all the evil things in creation, especially lizards--a thundering bigcountry, where one could get acres of land for as little as he pleased. 

Well, while Napoleon was attending to his business inland, where heintended to do some splendid things, the English, who were always tryingto make us trouble, burned his fleet at Aboukir. But our general, whohad the respect of the East and the West, who had been called "my son"by the Pope, and "my dear father" by the cousin of Mahomet, resolved topunish England, and to capture the Indies, in payment for his lostfleet. He was just going to take us across the Red Sea into Asia--acountry where there were lots of diamonds, plenty of gold with which topay his soldiers, and palaces that could be used for etapes--when theMody made an arrangement with the Plague, and sent it down to put an endto our victories. Then it was, Halt, all! And everybody marched off tothat parade from which you don't come back on your feet. Dying soldierscouldn't take Saint Jean d'Acre, although they forced an entrance threetimes with noble and stubborn courage. The Plague was too strong for us;and it wasn't any use to say "Please don't!" to the Plague. Everybodywas sick except Napoleon. He looked fresh as a rose, and the whole armysaw him drinking in pestilence without being hurt a bit. How was that?Do you call that natural?

Well, the Mamelukes, who knew that we were all in ambulances, thoughtthey'd bar our way; but they couldn't play that sort of game withNapoleon. He turned to his old fire-eaters--the fellows with thetoughest hides--and said: "Go clear the road for me. " Junot, who was hisdevoted friend and a number one soldier, took not more than a thousandmen, and slashed right through the army of the pasha which had had theimpudence to get in our way. Then we went back to Cairo, where we hadour headquarters. 

And now for another part of the story. While Napoleon was away Francewas letting herself be ruined by those government scalawags in Paris, who were keeping back the soldiers' pay, withholding their linen andtheir clothes, and even letting them starve. They wanted the soldiers tolay down the law to the universe, and that's all they cared for. Theywere just a lot of idiots jabbering for amusement instead of puttingtheir own hands into the dough. So our armies were beaten and wecouldn't defend, our frontiers. THE MAN was no longer there. I say "theman" because that's what they called him; but it was absurd to say thathe was merely a man, when he had a star of his own with all itsbelongings. It was the rest of us who were merely men. At the battle ofAboukir, with a single division and with a loss of only three hundredmen, he whipped the great army of the Turks, and hustled more than halfof them into the sea--r-r-rah--like that! But it was his lastthunderclap in Egypt; because when he heard, soon afterward, what washappening in France, he made up his mind to go back there. "I am thesavior of France, " he said, "and I must go to her aid. " The army didn'tknow what he intended to do. If they had known, they would have kept himin Egypt by force and made him Emperor of the East. 

When he had gone, we all felt very blue; because he had been the joy ofour lives. He left the command to Kléber--a great lout of a fellow whosoon afterward lost the number of his mess. An Egyptian assassinatedhim. They put the murderer to death by making him sit on a bayonet;that's their way, down there, of guillotining a man. But he suffered somuch that one of our soldiers felt sorry for him and offered him hiswater-gourd. The criminal took a drink, and then gave up the ghost withthe greatest pleasure. 

But we didn't waste much time over trifles like that. 

Napoleon sailed from Egypt in a cockle-shell of a boat called _Fortune_. He passed right under the noses of the English, who were blockading thecoast with ships of the line, frigates, and every sort of craft thatcould carry sail, and in the twinkling of an eye he was in France;because he had the ability to cross the sea as if with a single stride. Was that natural? Bah! The very minute he reached Fréjus, he had hisfoot, so to speak, in Paris. There, of course, everybody worships him. But the first thing he does is to summon the government. "What have youbeen doing with my children the soldiers?" he said to the lawyers. "Youare nothing but a lot of poll-parrots, who fool the people with yourgabble, and feather your own nests at the expense of France. It is notright; and I speak in the name of all who are dissatisfied. "

They thought, at first, that they could get rid of him by talking himto death; but it didn't work. He shut 'em up in the very barrack wherethey did their talking, and those who didn't jump out of the windows heenrolled in his suite, where they soon became mute as fish and pliableas a tobacco-pouch. This coup made him consul; and as he wasn't one todoubt the Supreme Being who had kept good faith with him, he hastened tofulfil his own promise by restoring the churches and reestablishingreligion; whereupon the bells all rang out in his honor and in honor ofthe good God. 

Everybody then was satisfied: first, the priests, because they wereprotected from persecution; second, the merchants, because they could dobusiness without fearing the "we-grab-it-all" of the law; and finallythe nobles, because the people were forbidden to put them to death, asthey had formerly had the unfortunate habit of doing. 

But Napoleon still had his enemies to clear away, and he was not a manto drop asleep over his porringer. His eye took in the whole world--asif it were no bigger than a soldier's head. The first thing he did wasto turn up in Italy--as suddenly as if he had poked his head through awindow; and one look from him was enough. The Austrians were swallowedup at Marengo as gudgeons are swallowed by a whale. Then the FrenchVICTORY sang a song of triumph that all the world could hear, and it wasenough. "We won't play any more!" declared the Germans. 

"Nor we either, " said the others. 

Sum total: Europe is cowed; England knuckles down; and there isuniversal peace, with all the kings and people pretending to embrace oneanother. 

It was then that Napoleon established the Legion of Honor; and a finething it was, too. In a speech that he made before the whole army atBoulogne he said: "In France everybody is brave; so the civilian whodoes a noble deed shall be the brother of the soldier, and they shallstand together under the flag of honor. " Then we who had been down inEgypt came home and found everything changed. When Napoleon left us hewas only a general; but in no time at all he had become Emperor. Francehad given herself to him as a pretty girl gives herself to a lancer. 

Well, when everything had been settled to everybody's satisfaction, there was a religious ceremony such as had never before been seen underthe canopy of heaven. The Pope and all his cardinals, in their robes ofscarlet and gold, came across the Alps to anoint him with holy oil, andhe was crowned Emperor, in the presence of the army and the people, withgreat applause and clapping of hands. 

But there is one thing that it would not be fair not to tell you; andthat is about the RED MAN. While Napoleon was still in Egypt, in adesert not far from Syria, the Red Man appeared to him on the mountainof Moses (Sinai), and said to him, "It's all right!" Then again, atMarengo, on the evening of the victory, the same Red Man appeared to hima second time, and said: "You shall see the world at your feet: youshall be Emperor of France; King of Italy; master of Holland; sovereignof Spain, Portugal, and the Illyrian provinces; protector of Germany;savior of Poland; first eagle of the Legion of Honor--everything!"

This Red Man, you see, was his own idea; and was a sort of messengerwhom he used, many people said, as a means of communication with hisstar. I've never believed that, myself, but that there was a Red Man isa real fact. Napoleon himself spoke of him, and said that he lived upunder the roof in the palace of the Tuileries, and that he often used tomake his appearance in times of trouble. On the evening of hiscoronation Napoleon saw him for the third time, and they consultedtogether about a lot of things. 

After that the Emperor went to Milan, where he was crowned King ofItaly; and then began a regular triumph for us soldiers. Every man whoknew how to read and write became an officer; it rained dukedoms;pensions were distributed with both hands; there were fortunes for thegeneral staff which didn't cost France a penny; and even common soldiersreceived annuities with their crosses of the Legion of Honor--I getmine to this day. In short, the armies of France were taken care of ina way that had never before been seen. 

But the Emperor, who knew that he was the emperor not only of thesoldiers but of all, remembered the bourgeois, and built wonderfulmonuments for them, to suit their own taste, in places that had been asbare before as the palm of your hand. Suppose you were coming fromSpain, for example, and going through France to Berlin. You would passunder sculptured triumphal arches on which you'd see the common soldierscarved just as beautifully as the generals. 

In two or three years, and without taxing you people at all, Napoleonfilled his vaults with gold; created bridges, palaces, roads, schools, festivals, laws, harbors, ships; and spent millions and millions ofmoney--so much, in fact, that if he'd taken the notion, they say, hemight have paved all France with five-franc pieces. 

Finally, when he was comfortably seated on his throne, he was sothoroughly the master of everything that Europe waited for hispermission before it even dared to sneeze. Then, as he had four brothersand three sisters, he said to us in familiar talk, as if in the order ofthe day: "Boys! Is it right that the relatives of your Emperor shouldhave to beg their bread? No! I want them to shine, just as I do. Akingdom must be conquered, therefore, for every one of them; so thatFrance may be master of all; so that the soldiers of the Guard may makethe world tremble; so that France may spit wherever she likes; and sothat all nations may say to her, --as it is written on my coins, --'Godprotects you. '"

"All right!" says the army. "We'll fish up kingdoms for you with thebayonet. "

We couldn't back out, you know; and if he had taken it into his head toconquer the moon, we should have had to get ready, pack our knapsacks, and climb up. Fortunately, he didn't have any such intention. 

The kings, who were very comfortable on their thrones, naturally didn'twant to get off to make room for his relatives; so they had to bedragged off by the ears. Forward! We marched and marched, andeverything began to shake again. Ah, how he did wear out men and shoesin those days! He struck such tremendous blows with us that if we hadbeen other than Frenchmen we should all have been used up. But Frenchmenare born philosophers, and they know that a little sooner or a littlelater they must die. So we used to die without a word, because we hadthe pleasure of seeing the Emperor do this with the geographies. [Herethe old soldier nimbly drew a circle with his foot on the floor of thebarn. ]

"There!" he would say, "that shall be a kingdom!" And it was a kingdom. Ah, that was a great time! Colonels became generals while you werelooking at them; generals became marshals, and marshals became kings. There's one of those kings still left, to remind Europe of that time;but he is a Gascon, and has betrayed France in order to keep his crown. He doesn't blush for the shame of it, either; because crowns, youunderstand, are made of gold! Finally, even sappers, if they knew how toread, became nobles all the same. I myself have seen in Paris elevenkings and a crowd of princes, surrounding Napoleon like rays of the sun. Every soldier had a chance to see how a throne fitted him, if he wasworthy of it, and when a corporal of the Guard passed by he was anobject of curiosity; because all had a share in the glory of thevictories, which were perfectly well known to everybody through thebulletins. 

And what a lot of battles there were! Austerlitz, where the armymaneuvered as if on parade; Eylau, where the Russians were drowned in alake as if Napoleon had blown them in with a single puff; Wagram, wherewe fought three days without flinching. In short, there were as manybattles as there are saints in the calendar. And it was proved then thatNapoleon had in his scabbard the real sword of God. He felt regard forhis soldiers, too, and treated them just as if they were his children, always taking pains to find out if they were well supplied with shoes, linen, overcoats, bread, and cartridges. But he kept up his dignity assovereign all the same; because to reign was his business. However, that didn't make any difference. A sergeant, or even a common soldier, could say to him "Emperor, " just as you sometimes say "my dear fellow"to me. He was one that you could argue with, if necessary; he slept onthe snow with the rest of us; and, in short, he appeared almost like anyother man. But when the grape-shot were kicking up the dust at his veryfeet, I have seen him going about coolly, --no more disturbed by themthan you are at this minute, --looking through his field-glass now andthen, and attending all the time to his business. Of course that madethe rest of us as calm and serene as John the Baptist. I don't know howhe managed it, but when he spoke to us, his words put fire into ourhearts; and in order to show him that we really were his children, andnot the kind of men to shrink from danger, we used to march right up togreat blackguards of cannon which bellowed and vomited balls without somuch as saying "Look out!" Even dying men had the nerve to raise theirheads and salute him with the cry of "Long live the Emperor!" Was thatnatural? Would they have done that for a mere man?

Well, when he had settled all his folks comfortably, the EmpressJosephine--who was a good woman all the same--was so fixed that shecouldn't give him any family, and he had to leave her. He loved herquite a little, too; but for reasons of state he had to have children. When the kings of Europe heard of this trouble, they came to blows overthe question who should give him a wife. He finally married, they toldus, an Austrian woman. She was a daughter of Caesar's--a man of ancienttimes who is much talked about, not only in our country, where they sayhe made everything, but in Europe. It's true, anyhow, that I have myselfbeen on the Danube, and have seen there the remains of a bridge thatthis man Caesar built. It appears that he was a relative of Napoleon'sin Rome, and that's why the Emperor had a right to take the inheritancethere for his son. 

Well, after his marriage, when there was a holiday for the whole world, and when he let the people off ten years' taxes (which were collectedall the same, because the tax-gatherers didn't pay any attention to whathe said), his wife had a little boy who was King of Rome. That was athing which had never been seen on earth before--a child born king whilehis father was still living. A balloon was sent up in Paris to carry thenews to Rome, and it made the whole distance in a single day. Now willany of you tell me that that was natural? Never! It had been so writtenon high. 

Well, next comes the Emperor of Russia. He had once been Napoleon'sfriend; but he got angry because our Emperor didn't marry a Russianwoman. So he backs up our enemies the English. Napoleon had longintended to pay his respects to those English ducks in their own nests, but something had always happened to prevent, and it was now high timeto make an end of them. So he finally got angry himself, and said to us:"Soldiers! You have been masters of all the capitals of Europe exceptMoscow, which is the ally of England. In order to conquer London, aswell as the Indies, which belong to London, I find it necessary to go toMoscow. "

Well, there assembled then the greatest army that ever tramped ingaiters over the world; and the Emperor had them so curiously well linedup that he reviewed a million men in a single day. 

"Hourra!" shout the Russians. And there they were--those animals ofCossacks who are forever running away, and the whole Russian nation, all complete! It was country against country--a general mix-up, whereeverybody had to look out for himself. As the Red Man had said toNapoleon, "It's Asia against Europe. "

"All right!" replied the Emperor, "I'll take care. " And then camefawning on Napoleon all the kings of Europe, --Austria, Prussia, Bavaria, Saxony, Poland, Italy, --all flattering us and going along with us. Itwas splendid! The French eagles never cooed as they did on parade then, when they were held high above all the flags of Europe. The Polescouldn't contain themselves for joy, because the Emperor intended to setthem up again as a nation--and for that reason the French and the Poleshave been like brothers ever since. 

"Russia shall be ours!" cried the army. 

We crossed the frontier, --the whole lot of us, --and marched, andmarched, and marched. No Russians! At last we found the rascals, campingon the bank of the Moscow River. That's where I got my cross; and I takeleave to say that it was the damnedest of battles! Napoleon himself wasworried, because the Red Man had appeared again and had said to him, "Myson, you are going too fast; you will run short of men, and your friendswill betray you. " Thereupon the Emperor proposed peace; but before thetreaty was signed he said to us, "Let's give those Russians adrubbing!"

"All right!" said the army. 

"Forward!" shout the sergeants. 

My clothes were going to pieces and my shoes were all worn out fromtramping over the bad roads out there, but I said to myself, "Nevermind; since this is the last of the rumpus, I'll make 'em give me abellyful!"

We were drawn up near the edge of the great ravine--in the front seats!The signal was given, and seven hundred pieces of artillery began aconversation that was enough to bring the blood from your ears. Well, todo justice to one's enemies, I must admit that the Russians letthemselves be killed like Frenchmen. They wouldn't give way, and wecouldn't advance. 

"Forward!" shouted our officers. "Here comes the Emperor!" And there hewas, passing at a gallop, and motioning to us that it was very importantto capture the redoubt. He put new life into us, and on we ran. I wasthe first to reach the ravine. Ah! Mon Dieu! How the colonels arefalling, and the lieutenants, and the soldiers! But never mind! There'llbe all the more shoes for those who haven't any, and epaulets for theambitious fellows who know how to read. 

At last the cry of "Victory!" rang all along the line; but--would youbelieve it?--there were twenty-five thousand Frenchmen lying on theground! A trifle, eh? Well, such a thing had never been seen before. Itwas a regular harvest field after the reaping; only instead of stalks ofgrain there were bodies of men. That sobered the rest of us. But theEmperor soon came along, and when we formed a circle around him, hepraised us and cheered us up (he could be very amiable when he liked), and made us feel quite contented, even although we were as hungry aswolves. Then he distributed crosses of honor among us, saluted the dead, and said, "On to Moscow!"

"All right! To Moscow!" replied the army. 

And then what did the Russians do but burn their city! It made asix-mile bonfire which blazed for two days. The buildings fell likeslates, and there was a rain of melted iron and lead which was simplyhorrible! Indeed, that fire was the lightning from the dark cloud of ourmisfortunes. The Emperor said: "There's enough of this. If we stay here, none of my soldiers will ever get out. " But we waited a little to cooloff and to refresh our carcasses; because we were really played out. Wecarried away a golden cross that was on the Kremlin, and every soldierhad a small fortune. 

On our way back, winter came upon us, a month earlier than usual, --athing that those stupid scientific men have never properlyexplained, --and the cold caught us. Then there was no more army; do youunderstand? No army, no generals, no sergeants even! After that it wasa reign of misery and hunger--a reign where we were all equal. Wethought of nothing except of seeing France again. Nobody stooped to pickup his gun, or his money, if he happened to drop them; and every onewent straight on, arms at will, caring nothing for glory. The weatherwas so bad that Napoleon could no longer see his star--the sky washidden. Poor man! It made him sick at heart to see his eagles flyingaway from victory. It was a crushing blow to him. 

Well, then came the Beresina. And now, my friends, I may say to you, onmy honor and by everything sacred, that never--no, never since man livedon earth--has there been such a mixed up hodgepodge of army, wagons, and artillery, in the midst of such snows, and under such a pitilesssky! It was so cold that if you touched the barrel of your gun youburned your hand. 

It was there that Gondrin--who is now present with us--behaved so well. He is the only one now living of the pontooners who went down into thewater that day and built the bridge on which we crossed the river. TheRussians still had some respect for the Grand Army, on account of itspast victories; but it was Gondrin and the pontooners who saved us, and[pointing at Gondrin, who was looking at him with the fixed attentionpeculiar to the deaf] Gondrin is a finished soldier and a soldier ofhonor, who is worthy of your highest esteem. 

I saw the Emperor that day, standing motionless near the bridge, andnever feeling the cold at all. Was that natural, do you think? He waswatching the destruction of his treasure, his friends, his old Egyptiansoldiers. It was the end of everything. Women, wagons, cannon--all werebeing destroyed, demolished, ruined, wrecked! A few of the bravestguarded the eagles; because the eagles, you understand, stood forFrance, for you, for the civil and military honor that had to be keptunstained and that was not to be humbled by the cold. 

We hardly ever got warm except near the Emperor. When he was in danger, we all ran to him--although we were so nearly frozen that we would nothave held out a hand to our dearest friend. They say that he used toweep at night over his poor family of soldiers. Nobody but he andFrenchmen could ever have pulled out of there. We did pull out, but itwas with loss--terrible loss. Our allies ate up all of our provisions, and then began the treachery which the Red Man had foretold. 

The blatherskites in Paris, who had kept quiet since the formation ofthe Imperial Guard, thought that the Guard had finally perished. So theygot up a conspiracy and hoodwinked the Prefect of Police into an attemptto overthrow the Emperor. He heard of this and it worried him. When heleft us he said: "Good-by, boys. Guard the posts. I will come back toyou. "

After he had gone, things went from bad to worse. The generals losttheir heads; and the marshals quarreled with one another and did allsorts of foolish things, as was natural. Napoleon, who was good toeverybody, had fed them on gold until they had become as fat as pigs, and they didn't want to do any more marching. This led to trouble, because many of them remained idle in forts behind the army that wasdriving us back to France, and didn't even try to relieve us byattacking the enemy in the rear. 

The Emperor finally returned, bringing with him a lot of splendidrecruits whom he had drilled into regular war-dogs, ready to set theirteeth into anything. He brought also a bourgeois guard of honor, a finetroop, which melted away in battle like butter on a hot gridiron. Inspite of the bold front that we put on, everything went against us;although the army performed feats of wonderful courage. Then cameregular battles of mountains--nations against nations--at Dresden, Lutzen, and Bautzen. Don't you ever forget that time, because it wasthen that Frenchmen showed how wonderfully heroic they could be. A goodgrenadier, in those days, seldom lasted more than six months. We alwayswon, of course; but there in our rear were the English, stirring up thenations to take sides against us. But we fought our way through thispack of nations at last. Wherever Napoleon showed himself, we rushed;and whenever, on land or sea, he said, "I wish to pass, " we passed. 

We finally got back to France; and many a poor foot-soldier was bracedup by the air of his native country, notwithstanding the hard times wehad. As for myself, in particular, I may say that it renewed my life. 

It then became a question of defending the fatherland--our fairFrance--against all Europe. They didn't like our laying down the law tothe Russians, and our driving them back across their borders, so thatthey couldn't devour us, as is the custom of the North. Those Northernpeoples are very greedy for the South, or at least that's what I'veheard many generals say. Then Napoleon saw arrayed against him his ownfather-in-law, his friends whom he had made kings, and all thescoundrels whom he had put on thrones. Finally, in pursuance of ordersfrom high quarters, even Frenchmen, and allies in our own ranks, turnedagainst us; as at the battle of Leipsic. Common soldiers wouldn't havebeen mean enough to do that! Men who called themselves princes broketheir word three times a day. 

Well, then came the invasion. Wherever Napoleon showed his lion facethe enemy retreated; and he worked more miracles in defending Francethan he had shown in conquering Italy, the East, Spain, Europe, andRussia. He wanted to bury all the invaders in France, and thus teachthem to respect the country; so he let them come close to Paris, inorder to swallow 'em all at a gulp and rise to the height of his geniusin a battle greater than all the others--a regular mother of battles!But those cowardly Parisians were so afraid for their wretched skins andtheir miserable shops that they opened the gates of the city. Then thegood times ended and the "ragusades" began. They fooled the Empress andhung white flags out of the palace windows. Finally the very generalswhom Napoleon had taken for his best friends deserted him and went overto the Bourbons--of whom nobody had ever before heard. Then he bade usgood-by at Fontainebleau. "Soldiers!"

I can hear him, even now. We were all crying like regular babies, andthe eagles and flags were lowered as if at a funeral. And it was afuneral--the funeral of the Empire. His old soldiers, once so hale andspruce, were little more than skeletons. Standing on the portico of hispalace, he said to us:

"Comrades! We have been beaten through treachery; but we shall all seeone another again in heaven, the country of the brave. Protect my child, whom I intrust to you. Long live Napoleon II!"

Like Jesus Christ before his last agony, he believed himself deserted byGod and his star; and in order that no one should see him conquered, itwas his intention to die; but, although he took poison enough to kill awhole regiment, it never hurt him at all--another proof, you see, thathe was more than man: he found himself immortal. As he felt sure of hisbusiness after that, and knew that he was to be Emperor always, he wentto a certain island for a while, to study the natures of those people inParis, who did not fail, of course, to do stupid things without end. 

While he was standing guard down there, the Chinese and those animals onthe coast of Africa--Moors and others, who are not at all easy to getalong with--were so sure that he was something more than man that theyrespected his tent, and said that to touch it would be to offend God. Sohe reigned over the whole world, although those other fellows had senthim out of France. 

Well, then, after a while he embarked again in the very same nut-shellof a boat that he had left Egypt in, passed right under the bows of theEnglish vessels, and set foot once more in France. France acknowledgedhim; the sacred cuckoo flew from spire to spire; and all the peoplecried, "Long live the Emperor!"

In this vicinity the enthusiasm for the Wonder of the Ages was mosthearty. Dauphiny behaved well; and it pleased me particularly to knowthat our own people here wept for joy when they saw again his gray coat. 

On the 1st of March Napoleon landed, with two hundred men, to conquerthe kingdom of France and Navarre; and on the 20th of the same monththat kingdom became the French Empire. On that day THE MAN was in Paris. He had made a clean sweep--had reconquered his dear France, and hadbrought all his old soldiers together again by saying only three words:"Here I am. " 'Twas the greatest miracle God had ever worked. Did ever aman, before him, take an empire by merely showing his hat? They thoughtthat France was crushed, did they? Not a bit of it! At sight of theEagle a national army sprang up, and we all marched to Waterloo. Therethe Guard perished, as if stricken down at a single blow. Napoleon, indespair, threw himself three times, at the head of his troops, on theenemy's cannon, without being able to find death. The battle was lost. 

That evening the Emperor called his old soldiers together, and, on thefield wet with our blood, burned his eagles and his flags. The pooreagles, who had always been victorious, who had cried "Forward!" in allour battles, and who had flown over all Europe, were saved from thedisgrace of falling into the hands of their enemies. All the treasure ofEngland couldn't buy the tail of one of them. They were no more!

The rest of the story is well known to everybody. The Red Man went overto the Bourbons, like the scoundrel that he is; France was crushed; andthe old soldiers, who were no longer of any account, were deprived oftheir dues and sent back to their homes, in order that their placesmight be given to a lot of nobles who couldn't even march--it waspitiful to see them try! Then Napoleon was seized, through treachery, and the English nailed him to a rock, ten thousand feet above the earth, on a desert island in the great ocean. There he must stay until the RedMan, for the good of France, gives him back his power. It is said bysome that he is dead. Oh, yes! Dead! That shows how little they knowhim! They only tell that lie to cheat the people and keep peace in theirshanty of a government. The truth of the matter is that his friends haveleft him there in the desert to fulfil a prophecy that was made abouthim--for I have forgotten to tell you that the name Napoleon reallymeans "Lion of the Desert. "

This that I have told you is gospel truth; and all the other things thatyou hear about the Emperor are foolish stories with no human likeliness. Because, you see, God never gave to any other man born of woman thepower to write his name in red across the whole world--and the worldwill remember him forever. Long live Napoleon, the father of thesoldiers and the people!