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CANDIDE BY VOLTAIRE

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[Illustration: Voltaire. ]

CANDIDE

BY VOLTAIRE

INTRODUCTION BY PHILIP LITTELL

BONI AND LIVERIGHT, INC. 

PUBLISHERS NEW YORK

Copyright, 1918, byBONI & LIVERIGHT, INC. 

Printed in the United States of America

INTRODUCTION

Ever since 1759, when Voltaire wrote "Candide" in ridicule of the notionthat this is the best of all possible worlds, this world has been agayer place for readers. Voltaire wrote it in three days, and five orsix generations have found that its laughter does not grow old. 

"Candide" has not aged. Yet how different the book would have looked ifVoltaire had written it a hundred and fifty years later than 1759. Itwould have been, among other things, a book of sights and sounds. Amodern writer would have tried to catch and fix in words some of thoseAtlantic changes which broke the Atlantic monotony of that voyage fromCadiz to Buenos Ayres. When Martin and Candide were sailing the lengthof the Mediterranean we should have had a contrast between naked scarpedBalearic cliffs and headlands of Calabria in their mists. We should havehad quarter distances, far horizons, the altering silhouettes of anIonian island. Colored birds would have filled Paraguay with theirsilver or acid cries. 

Dr. Pangloss, to prove the existence of design in the universe, saysthat noses were made to carry spectacles, and so we have spectacles. Amodern satirist would not try to paint with Voltaire's quick brush thedoctrine that he wanted to expose. And he would choose a morecomplicated doctrine than Dr. Pangloss's optimism, would study it moreclosely, feel his destructive way about it with a more learned andcaressing malice. His attack, stealthier, more flexible and more patientthan Voltaire's, would call upon us, especially when his learning got alittle out of control, to be more than patient. Now and then he wouldbore us. "Candide" never bored anybody except William Wordsworth. 

Voltaire's men and women point his case against optimism by startinghigh and falling low. A modern could not go about it after this fashion. He would not plunge his people into an unfamiliar misery. He would justkeep them in the misery they were born to. 

But such an account of Voltaire's procedure is as misleading as theplaster cast of a dance. Look at his procedure again. MademoiselleCunégonde, the illustrious Westphalian, sprung from a family that couldprove seventy-one quarterings, descends and descends until we find herearning her keep by washing dishes in the Propontis. The aged faithfulattendant, victim of a hundred acts of rape by negro pirates, remembersthat she is the daughter of a pope, and that in honor of herapproaching marriage with a Prince of Massa-Carrara all Italy wrotesonnets of which not one was passable. We do not need to know Frenchliterature before Voltaire in order to feel, although the lurking parodymay escape us, that he is poking fun at us and at himself. His laughterat his own methods grows more unmistakable at the last, when hecaricatures them by casually assembling six fallen monarchs in an inn atVenice. 

A modern assailant of optimism would arm himself with social pity. Thereis no social pity in "Candide. " Voltaire, whose light touch on familiarinstitutions opens them and reveals their absurdity, likes to remind usthat the slaughter and pillage and murder which Candide witnessed amongthe Bulgarians was perfectly regular, having been conducted according tothe laws and usages of war. Had Voltaire lived to-day he would have doneto poverty what he did to war. Pitying the poor, he would have shown uspoverty as a ridiculous anachronism, and both the ridicule and the pitywould have expressed his indignation. 

Almost any modern, essaying a philosophic tale, would make it long. "Candide" is only a "Hamlet" and a half long. It would hardly have beenshorter if Voltaire had spent three months on it, instead of those threedays. A conciseness to be matched in English by nobody except Pope, whocan say a plagiarizing enemy "steals much, spends little, and hasnothing left, " a conciseness which Pope toiled and sweated for, came aseasy as wit to Voltaire. He can afford to be witty, parenthetically, bythe way, prodigally, without saving, because he knows there is more witwhere that came from. 

One of Max Beerbohm's cartoons shows us the young Twentieth Centurygoing at top speed, and watched by two of his predecessors. Underneathis this legend: "The Grave Misgivings of the Nineteenth Century, and theWicked Amusement of the Eighteenth, in Watching the Progress (orwhatever it is) of the Twentieth. " This Eighteenth Century snuff-takingand malicious, is like Voltaire, who nevertheless must know, if hehappens to think of it, that not yet in the Twentieth Century, not forall its speed mania, has any one come near to equalling the speed of aprose tale by Voltaire. "Candide" is a full book. It is filled withmockery, with inventiveness, with things as concrete as things to eatand coins, it has time for the neatest intellectual clickings, it isnever hurried, and it moves with the most amazing rapidity. It has therapidity of high spirits playing a game. The dry high spirits of thisdestroyer of optimism make most optimists look damp and depressed. Contemplation of the stupidity which deems happiness possible almostmade Voltaire happy. His attack on optimism is one of the gayest booksin the world. Gaiety has been scattered everywhere up and down its pagesby Voltaire's lavish hand, by his thin fingers. 

Many propagandist satirical books have been written with "Candide" inmind, but not too many. To-day, especially, when new faiths are changingthe structure of the world, faiths which are still plastic enough to bedeformed by every disciple, each disciple for himself, and which havenot yet received the final deformation known as universal acceptance, to-day "Candide" is an inspiration to every narrative satirist who hatesone of these new faiths, or hates every interpretation of it but hisown. Either hatred will serve as a motive to satire. 

That is why the present is one of the right moments to republish"Candide. " I hope it will inspire younger men and women, the only oneswho can be inspired, to have a try at Theodore, or Militarism; Jane, orPacifism; at So-and-So, the Pragmatist or the Freudian. And I hope, too, that they will without trying hold their pens with an eighteenth centurylightness, not inappropriate to a philosophic tale. In Voltaire'sfingers, as Anatole France has said, the pen runs and laughs. PHILIPLITTELL. 

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

 I. How Candide was brought up in a Magnificent Castle, and how he was expelled thence 1

 II. What became of Candide among the Bulgarians 5

 III. How Candide made his escape from the Bulgarians, and what afterwards became of him 9

 IV. How Candide found his old Master Pangloss, and what happened to them 13

 V. Tempest, Shipwreck, Earthquake, and what became of Doctor Pangloss, Candide, and James the Anabaptist 18

 VI. How the Portuguese made a Beautiful Auto-da-fé, to prevent any further Earthquakes: and how Candide was publicly whipped 23

 VII. How the Old Woman took care of Candide, and how he found the Object he loved 26

 VIII. The History of Cunegonde 30

 IX. What became of Cunegonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the Jew 35

 X. In what distress Candide, Cunegonde, and the Old Woman arrived at Cadiz; and of their Embarkation 38

 XI. History of the Old Woman 42

 XII. The Adventures of the Old Woman continued 48

 XIII. How Candide was forced away from his fair Cunegonde and the Old Woman 54

 XIV. How Candide and Cacambo were received by the Jesuits of Paraguay 58

 XV. How Candide killed the brother of his dear Cunegonde 64

 XVI. Adventures of the Two Travellers, with Two Girls, Two Monkeys, and the Savages called Oreillons 68

 XVII. Arrival of Candide and his Valet at El Dorado, and what they saw there 74

 XVIII. What they saw in the Country of El Dorado 80

 XIX. What happened to them at Surinam and how Candide got acquainted with Martin 89

 XX. What happened at Sea to Candide and Martin 98

 XXI. Candide and Martin, reasoning, draw near the Coast of France 102

 XXII. What happened in France to Candide and Martin 105

 XXIII. Candide and Martin touched upon the Coast of England, and what they saw there 122

 XXIV. Of Paquette and Friar Giroflée 125

 XXV. The Visit to Lord Pococurante, a Noble Venetian 133

 XXVI. Of a Supper which Candide and Martin took with Six Strangers, and who they were 142

 XXVII. Candide's Voyage to Constantinople 148

XXVIII. What happened to Candide, Cunegonde, Pangloss, Martin, etc. 154

 XXIX. How Candide found Cunegonde and the Old Woman again 159

 XXX. The Conclusion 161

[Illustration: VOLTAIRE'S CANDIDE]

CANDIDE

I

HOW CANDIDE WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE, AND HOW HE WASEXPELLED THENCE. 

In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron ofThunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with themost gentle manners. His countenance was a true picture of his soul. Hecombined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was thereason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants ofthe family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron's sister, bya good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady wouldnever marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-onequarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost throughthe injuries of time. 

The Baron was one of the most powerful lords in Westphalia, for hiscastle had not only a gate, but windows. His great hall, even, was hungwith tapestry. All the dogs of his farm-yards formed a pack of hounds atneed; his grooms were his huntsmen; and the curate of the village washis grand almoner. They called him "My Lord, " and laughed at all hisstories. 

The Baron's lady weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds, and wastherefore a person of great consideration, and she did the honours ofthe house with a dignity that commanded still greater respect. Herdaughter Cunegonde was seventeen years of age, fresh-coloured, comely, plump, and desirable. The Baron's son seemed to be in every respectworthy of his father. The Preceptor Pangloss[1] was the oracle of thefamily, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith ofhis age and character. 

Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. Heproved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, inthis best of all possible worlds, the Baron's castle was the mostmagnificent of castles, and his lady the best of all possibleBaronesses. 

"It is demonstrable, " said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than asthey are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for thebest end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bearspectacles--thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed forstockings--and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and toconstruct castles--therefore my lord has a magnificent castle; for thegreatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Pigs weremade to be eaten--therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequentlythey who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they shouldhave said all is for the best. "

Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thoughtMiss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage totell her so. He concluded that after the happiness of being born ofBaron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, the second degree of happiness was to beMiss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing her every day, and the fourththat of hearing Master Pangloss, the greatest philosopher of the wholeprovince, and consequently of the whole world. 

One day Cunegonde, while walking near the castle, in a little wood whichthey called a park, saw between the bushes, Dr. Pangloss giving a lessonin experimental natural philosophy to her mother's chamber-maid, alittle brown wench, very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had agreat disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed therepeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceivedthe force of the Doctor's reasons, the effects, and the causes; sheturned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desireto be learned; dreaming that she might well be a _sufficient reason_ foryoung Candide, and he for her. 

She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushedalso; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoketo her without knowing what he said. The next day after dinner, as theywent from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen;Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took himinnocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady'shand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed. BaronThunder-ten-Tronckh passed near the screen and beholding this cause andeffect chased Candide from the castle with great kicks on the backside;Cunegonde fainted away; she was boxed on the ears by the Baroness, assoon as she came to herself; and all was consternation in this mostmagnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles. 

II

WHAT BECAME OF CANDIDE AMONG THE BULGARIANS. 

Candide, driven from terrestrial paradise, walked a long while withoutknowing where, weeping, raising his eyes to heaven, turning them oftentowards the most magnificent of castles which imprisoned the purest ofnoble young ladies. He lay down to sleep without supper, in the middleof a field between two furrows. The snow fell in large flakes. Next dayCandide, all benumbed, dragged himself towards the neighbouring townwhich was called Waldberghofftrarbk-dikdorff, having no money, dying ofhunger and fatigue, he stopped sorrowfully at the door of an inn. Twomen dressed in blue observed him. 

"Comrade, " said one, "here is a well-built young fellow, and of properheight. "

They went up to Candide and very civilly invited him to dinner. 

"Gentlemen, " replied Candide, with a most engaging modesty, "you do megreat honour, but I have not wherewithal to pay my share. "

"Oh, sir, " said one of the blues to him, "people of your appearance andof your merit never pay anything: are you not five feet five incheshigh?"

"Yes, sir, that is my height, " answered he, making a low bow. 

"Come, sir, seat yourself; not only will we pay your reckoning, but wewill never suffer such a man as you to want money; men are only born toassist one another. "

"You are right, " said Candide; "this is what I was always taught by Mr. Pangloss, and I see plainly that all is for the best. "

They begged of him to accept a few crowns. He took them, and wished togive them his note; they refused; they seated themselves at table. 

"Love you not deeply?"

"Oh yes, " answered he; "I deeply love Miss Cunegonde. "

"No, " said one of the gentlemen, "we ask you if you do not deeply lovethe King of the Bulgarians?"

"Not at all, " said he; "for I have never seen him. "

"What! he is the best of kings, and we must drink his health. "

"Oh! very willingly, gentlemen, " and he drank. 

"That is enough, " they tell him. "Now you are the help, the support, the defender, the hero of the Bulgarians. Your fortune is made, and yourglory is assured. "

Instantly they fettered him, and carried him away to the regiment. Therehe was made to wheel about to the right, and to the left, to draw hisrammer, to return his rammer, to present, to fire, to march, and theygave him thirty blows with a cudgel. The next day he did his exercise alittle less badly, and he received but twenty blows. The day followingthey gave him only ten, and he was regarded by his comrades as aprodigy. 

Candide, all stupefied, could not yet very well realise how he was ahero. He resolved one fine day in spring to go for a walk, marchingstraight before him, believing that it was a privilege of the human aswell as of the animal species to make use of their legs as they pleased. He had advanced two leagues when he was overtaken by four others, heroesof six feet, who bound him and carried him to a dungeon. He was askedwhich he would like the best, to be whipped six-and-thirty times throughall the regiment, or to receive at once twelve balls of lead in hisbrain. He vainly said that human will is free, and that he chose neitherthe one nor the other. He was forced to make a choice; he determined, invirtue of that gift of God called liberty, to run the gauntletsix-and-thirty times. He bore this twice. The regiment was composed oftwo thousand men; that composed for him four thousand strokes, whichlaid bare all his muscles and nerves, from the nape of his neck quitedown to his rump. As they were going to proceed to a third whipping, Candide, able to bear no more, begged as a favour that they would be sogood as to shoot him. He obtained this favour; they bandaged his eyes, and bade him kneel down. The King of the Bulgarians passed at thismoment and ascertained the nature of the crime. As he had great talent, he understood from all that he learnt of Candide that he was a youngmetaphysician, extremely ignorant of the things of this world, and heaccorded him his pardon with a clemency which will bring him praise inall the journals, and throughout all ages. 

An able surgeon cured Candide in three weeks by means of emollientstaught by Dioscorides. He had already a little skin, and was able tomarch when the King of the Bulgarians gave battle to the King of theAbares. [2]

III

HOW CANDIDE MADE HIS ESCAPE FROM THE BULGARIANS, AND WHAT AFTERWARDSBECAME OF HIM. 

There was never anything so gallant, so spruce, so brilliant, and sowell disposed as the two armies. Trumpets, fifes, hautboys, drums, andcannon made music such as Hell itself had never heard. The cannons firstof all laid flat about six thousand men on each side; the muskets sweptaway from this best of worlds nine or ten thousand ruffians who infestedits surface. The bayonet was also a _sufficient reason_ for the death ofseveral thousands. The whole might amount to thirty thousand souls. Candide, who trembled like a philosopher, hid himself as well as hecould during this heroic butchery. 

At length, while the two kings were causing Te Deum to be sung each inhis own camp, Candide resolved to go and reason elsewhere on effects andcauses. He passed over heaps of dead and dying, and first reached aneighbouring village; it was in cinders, it was an Abare village whichthe Bulgarians had burnt according to the laws of war. Here, old mencovered with wounds, beheld their wives, hugging their children to theirbloody breasts, massacred before their faces; there, their daughters, disembowelled and breathing their last after having satisfied thenatural wants of Bulgarian heroes; while others, half burnt in theflames, begged to be despatched. The earth was strewed with brains, arms, and legs. 

Candide fled quickly to another village; it belonged to the Bulgarians;and the Abarian heroes had treated it in the same way. Candide, walkingalways over palpitating limbs or across ruins, arrived at last beyondthe seat of war, with a few provisions in his knapsack, and MissCunegonde always in his heart. His provisions failed him when he arrivedin Holland; but having heard that everybody was rich in that country, and that they were Christians, he did not doubt but he should meet withthe same treatment from them as he had met with in the Baron's castle, before Miss Cunegonde's bright eyes were the cause of his expulsionthence. 

He asked alms of several grave-looking people, who all answered him, that if he continued to follow this trade they would confine him to thehouse of correction, where he should be taught to get a living. 

The next he addressed was a man who had been haranguing a large assemblyfor a whole hour on the subject of charity. But the orator, lookingaskew, said:

"What are you doing here? Are you for the good cause?"

"There can be no effect without a cause, " modestly answered Candide;"the whole is necessarily concatenated and arranged for the best. It wasnecessary for me to have been banished from the presence of MissCunegonde, to have afterwards run the gauntlet, and now it is necessaryI should beg my bread until I learn to earn it; all this cannot beotherwise. "

"My friend, " said the orator to him, "do you believe the Pope to beAnti-Christ?"

"I have not heard it, " answered Candide; "but whether he be, or whetherhe be not, I want bread. "

"Thou dost not deserve to eat, " said the other. "Begone, rogue; begone, wretch; do not come near me again. "

The orator's wife, putting her head out of the window, and spying a manthat doubted whether the Pope was Anti-Christ, poured over him afull.... Oh, heavens! to what excess does religious zeal carry theladies. 

A man who had never been christened, a good Anabaptist, named James, beheld the cruel and ignominious treatment shown to one of hisbrethren, an unfeathered biped with a rational soul, he took him home, cleaned him, gave him bread and beer, presented him with two florins, and even wished to teach him the manufacture of Persian stuffs whichthey make in Holland. Candide, almost prostrating himself before him, cried:

"Master Pangloss has well said that all is for the best in this world, for I am infinitely more touched by your extreme generosity than withthe inhumanity of that gentleman in the black coat and his lady. "

The next day, as he took a walk, he met a beggar all covered with scabs, his eyes diseased, the end of his nose eaten away, his mouth distorted, his teeth black, choking in his throat, tormented with a violent cough, and spitting out a tooth at each effort. 

IV

HOW CANDIDE FOUND HIS OLD MASTER PANGLOSS, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM. 

Candide, yet more moved with compassion than with horror, gave to thisshocking beggar the two florins which he had received from the honestAnabaptist James. The spectre looked at him very earnestly, dropped afew tears, and fell upon his neck. Candide recoiled in disgust. 

"Alas!" said one wretch to the other, "do you no longer know your dearPangloss?"

"What do I hear? You, my dear master! you in this terrible plight! Whatmisfortune has happened to you? Why are you no longer in the mostmagnificent of castles? What has become of Miss Cunegonde, the pearl ofgirls, and nature's masterpiece?"

"I am so weak that I cannot stand, " said Pangloss. 

Upon which Candide carried him to the Anabaptist's stable, and gave hima crust of bread. As soon as Pangloss had refreshed himself a little:

"Well, " said Candide, "Cunegonde?"

"She is dead, " replied the other. 

Candide fainted at this word; his friend recalled his senses with alittle bad vinegar which he found by chance in the stable. Candidereopened his eyes. 

"Cunegonde is dead! Ah, best of worlds, where art thou? But of whatillness did she die? Was it not for grief, upon seeing her father kickme out of his magnificent castle?"

"No, " said Pangloss, "she was ripped open by the Bulgarian soldiers, after having been violated by many; they broke the Baron's head forattempting to defend her; my lady, her mother, was cut in pieces; mypoor pupil was served just in the same manner as his sister; and as forthe castle, they have not left one stone upon another, not a barn, nor asheep, nor a duck, nor a tree; but we have had our revenge, for theAbares have done the very same thing to a neighbouring barony, whichbelonged to a Bulgarian lord. "

At this discourse Candide fainted again; but coming to himself, andhaving said all that it became him to say, inquired into the cause andeffect, as well as into the _sufficient reason_ that had reducedPangloss to so miserable a plight. 

"Alas!" said the other, "it was love; love, the comfort of the humanspecies, the preserver of the universe, the soul of all sensible beings, love, tender love. "

"Alas!" said Candide, "I know this love, that sovereign of hearts, thatsoul of our souls; yet it never cost me more than a kiss and twentykicks on the backside. How could this beautiful cause produce in you aneffect so abominable?"

Pangloss made answer in these terms: "Oh, my dear Candide, you rememberPaquette, that pretty wench who waited on our noble Baroness; in herarms I tasted the delights of paradise, which produced in me those helltorments with which you see me devoured; she was infected with them, sheis perhaps dead of them. This present Paquette received of a learnedGrey Friar, who had traced it to its source; he had had it of an oldcountess, who had received it from a cavalry captain, who owed it to amarchioness, who took it from a page, who had received it from a Jesuit, who when a novice had it in a direct line from one of the companions ofChristopher Columbus. [3] For my part I shall give it to nobody, I amdying. "

"Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "what a strange genealogy! Is not theDevil the original stock of it?"

"Not at all, " replied this great man, "it was a thing unavoidable, anecessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus had not inan island of America caught this disease, which contaminates the sourceof life, frequently even hinders generation, and which is evidentlyopposed to the great end of nature, we should have neither chocolate norcochineal. We are also to observe that upon our continent, thisdistemper is like religious controversy, confined to a particular spot. The Turks, the Indians, the Persians, the Chinese, the Siamese, theJapanese, know nothing of it; but there is a sufficient reason forbelieving that they will know it in their turn in a few centuries. Inthe meantime, it has made marvellous progress among us, especially inthose great armies composed of honest well-disciplined hirelings, whodecide the destiny of states; for we may safely affirm that when an armyof thirty thousand men fights another of an equal number, there areabout twenty thousand of them p-x-d on each side. "

"Well, this is wonderful!" said Candide, "but you must get cured. "

"Alas! how can I?" said Pangloss, "I have not a farthing, my friend, andall over the globe there is no letting of blood or taking a glister, without paying, or somebody paying for you. "

These last words determined Candide; he went and flung himself at thefeet of the charitable Anabaptist James, and gave him so touching apicture of the state to which his friend was reduced, that the good mandid not scruple to take Dr. Pangloss into his house, and had him curedat his expense. In the cure Pangloss lost only an eye and an ear. Hewrote well, and knew arithmetic perfectly. The Anabaptist James made himhis bookkeeper. At the end of two months, being obliged to go to Lisbonabout some mercantile affairs, he took the two philosophers with him inhis ship. Pangloss explained to him how everything was so constitutedthat it could not be better. James was not of this opinion. 

"It is more likely, " said he, "mankind have a little corrupted nature, for they were not born wolves, and they have become wolves; God hasgiven them neither cannon of four-and-twenty pounders, nor bayonets; andyet they have made cannon and bayonets to destroy one another. Into thisaccount I might throw not only bankrupts, but Justice which seizes onthe effects of bankrupts to cheat the creditors. "

"All this was indispensable, " replied the one-eyed doctor, "for privatemisfortunes make the general good, so that the more private misfortunesthere are the greater is the general good. "

While he reasoned, the sky darkened, the winds blew from the fourquarters, and the ship was assailed by a most terrible tempest withinsight of the port of Lisbon. 

V

TEMPEST, SHIPWRECK, EARTHQUAKE, AND WHAT BECAME OF DOCTOR PANGLOSS, CANDIDE, AND JAMES THE ANABAPTIST. 

Half dead of that inconceivable anguish which the rolling of a shipproduces, one-half of the passengers were not even sensible of thedanger. The other half shrieked and prayed. The sheets were rent, themasts broken, the vessel gaped. Work who would, no one heard, no onecommanded. The Anabaptist being upon deck bore a hand; when a brutishsailor struck him roughly and laid him sprawling; but with the violenceof the blow he himself tumbled head foremost overboard, and stuck upon apiece of the broken mast. Honest James ran to his assistance, hauled himup, and from the effort he made was precipitated into the sea in sightof the sailor, who left him to perish, without deigning to look at him. Candide drew near and saw his benefactor, who rose above the water onemoment and was then swallowed up for ever. He was just going to jumpafter him, but was prevented by the philosopher Pangloss, whodemonstrated to him that the Bay of Lisbon had been made on purpose forthe Anabaptist to be drowned. While he was proving this _à priori_, theship foundered; all perished except Pangloss, Candide, and that brutalsailor who had drowned the good Anabaptist. The villain swam safely tothe shore, while Pangloss and Candide were borne thither upon a plank. 

As soon as they recovered themselves a little they walked toward Lisbon. They had some money left, with which they hoped to save themselves fromstarving, after they had escaped drowning. Scarcely had they reached thecity, lamenting the death of their benefactor, when they felt the earthtremble under their feet. The sea swelled and foamed in the harbour, andbeat to pieces the vessels riding at anchor. Whirlwinds of fire andashes covered the streets and public places; houses fell, roofs wereflung upon the pavements, and the pavements were scattered. Thirtythousand inhabitants of all ages and sexes were crushed under theruins. [4] The sailor, whistling and swearing, said there was booty to begained here. 

"What can be the _sufficient reason_ of this phenomenon?" said Pangloss. 

"This is the Last Day!" cried Candide. 

The sailor ran among the ruins, facing death to find money; finding it, he took it, got drunk, and having slept himself sober, purchased thefavours of the first good-natured wench whom he met on the ruins of thedestroyed houses, and in the midst of the dying and the dead. Panglosspulled him by the sleeve. 

"My friend, " said he, "this is not right. You sin against the _universalreason_; you choose your time badly. "

"S'blood and fury!" answered the other; "I am a sailor and born atBatavia. Four times have I trampled upon the crucifix in four voyages toJapan[5]; a fig for thy universal reason. "

Some falling stones had wounded Candide. He lay stretched in the streetcovered with rubbish. 

"Alas!" said he to Pangloss, "get me a little wine and oil; I am dying. "

"This concussion of the earth is no new thing, " answered Pangloss. "Thecity of Lima, in America, experienced the same convulsions last year;the same cause, the same effects; there is certainly a train of sulphurunder ground from Lima to Lisbon. "

"Nothing more probable, " said Candide; "but for the love of God a littleoil and wine. "

"How, probable?" replied the philosopher. "I maintain that the point iscapable of being demonstrated. "

Candide fainted away, and Pangloss fetched him some water from aneighbouring fountain. The following day they rummaged among the ruinsand found provisions, with which they repaired their exhausted strength. After this they joined with others in relieving those inhabitants whohad escaped death. Some, whom they had succoured, gave them as good adinner as they could in such disastrous circumstances; true, the repastwas mournful, and the company moistened their bread with tears; butPangloss consoled them, assuring them that things could not beotherwise. 

"For, " said he, "all that is is for the best. If there is a volcano atLisbon it cannot be elsewhere. It is impossible that things should beother than they are; for everything is right. "

A little man dressed in black, Familiar of the Inquisition, who sat byhim, politely took up his word and said:

"Apparently, then, sir, you do not believe in original sin; for if allis for the best there has then been neither Fall nor punishment. "

"I humbly ask your Excellency's pardon, " answered Pangloss, still morepolitely; "for the Fall and curse of man necessarily entered into thesystem of the best of worlds. "

"Sir, " said the Familiar, "you do not then believe in liberty?"

"Your Excellency will excuse me, " said Pangloss; "liberty is consistentwith absolute necessity, for it was necessary we should be free; for, inshort, the determinate will----"

Pangloss was in the middle of his sentence, when the Familiar beckonedto his footman, who gave him a glass of wine from Porto or Opporto. 

VI

HOW THE PORTUGUESE MADE A BEAUTIFUL AUTO-DA-FÉ, TO PREVENT ANY FURTHEREARTHQUAKES; AND HOW CANDIDE WAS PUBLICLY WHIPPED. 

After the earthquake had destroyed three-fourths of Lisbon, the sages ofthat country could think of no means more effectual to prevent utterruin than to give the people a beautiful _auto-da-fé_[6]; for it hadbeen decided by the University of Coimbra, that the burning of a fewpeople alive by a slow fire, and with great ceremony, is an infalliblesecret to hinder the earth from quaking. 

In consequence hereof, they had seized on a Biscayner, convicted ofhaving married his godmother, and on two Portuguese, for rejecting thebacon which larded a chicken they were eating[7]; after dinner, theycame and secured Dr. Pangloss, and his disciple Candide, the one forspeaking his mind, the other for having listened with an air ofapprobation. They were conducted to separate apartments, extremely cold, as they were never incommoded by the sun. Eight days after they weredressed in _san-benitos_[8] and their heads ornamented with papermitres. The mitre and _san-benito_ belonging to Candide were paintedwith reversed flames and with devils that had neither tails nor claws;but Pangloss's devils had claws and tails and the flames were upright. They marched in procession thus habited and heard a very patheticsermon, followed by fine church music. Candide was whipped in cadencewhile they were singing; the Biscayner, and the two men who had refusedto eat bacon, were burnt; and Pangloss was hanged, though that was notthe custom. The same day the earth sustained a most violent concussion. 

Candide, terrified, amazed, desperate, all bloody, all palpitating, saidto himself:

"If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others? Well, if I had been only whipped I could put up with it, for I experiencedthat among the Bulgarians; but oh, my dear Pangloss! thou greatest ofphilosophers, that I should have seen you hanged, without knowing forwhat! Oh, my dear Anabaptist, thou best of men, that thou should'st havebeen drowned in the very harbour! Oh, Miss Cunegonde, thou pearl ofgirls! that thou should'st have had thy belly ripped open!"

Thus he was musing, scarce able to stand, preached at, whipped, absolved, and blessed, when an old woman accosted him saying:

"My son, take courage and follow me. "

VII

HOW THE OLD WOMAN TOOK CARE OF CANDIDE, AND HOW HE FOUND THE OBJECT HELOVED. 

Candide did not take courage, but followed the old woman to a decayedhouse, where she gave him a pot of pomatum to anoint his sores, showedhim a very neat little bed, with a suit of clothes hanging up, and lefthim something to eat and drink. 

"Eat, drink, sleep, " said she, "and may our lady of Atocha, [9] the greatSt. Anthony of Padua, and the great St. James of Compostella, receiveyou under their protection. I shall be back to-morrow. "

Candide, amazed at all he had suffered and still more with the charityof the old woman, wished to kiss her hand. 

"It is not my hand you must kiss, " said the old woman; "I shall be backto-morrow. Anoint yourself with the pomatum, eat and sleep. "

Candide, notwithstanding so many disasters, ate and slept. The nextmorning the old woman brought him his breakfast, looked at his back, andrubbed it herself with another ointment: in like manner she brought himhis dinner; and at night she returned with his supper. The day followingshe went through the very same ceremonies. 

"Who are you?" said Candide; "who has inspired you with so muchgoodness? What return can I make you?"

The good woman made no answer; she returned in the evening, but broughtno supper. 

"Come with me, " she said, "and say nothing. "

She took him by the arm, and walked with him about a quarter of a mileinto the country; they arrived at a lonely house, surrounded withgardens and canals. The old woman knocked at a little door, it opened, she led Candide up a private staircase into a small apartment richlyfurnished. She left him on a brocaded sofa, shut the door and went away. Candide thought himself in a dream; indeed, that he had been dreamingunluckily all his life, and that the present moment was the onlyagreeable part of it all. 

The old woman returned very soon, supporting with difficulty a tremblingwoman of a majestic figure, brilliant with jewels, and covered with aveil. 

"Take off that veil, " said the old woman to Candide. 

The young man approaches, he raises the veil with a timid hand. Oh!what a moment! what surprise! he believes he beholds Miss Cunegonde? hereally sees her! it is herself! His strength fails him, he cannot uttera word, but drops at her feet. Cunegonde falls upon the sofa. The oldwoman supplies a smelling bottle; they come to themselves and recovertheir speech. As they began with broken accents, with questions andanswers interchangeably interrupted with sighs, with tears, and cries. The old woman desired they would make less noise and then she left themto themselves. 

"What, is it you?" said Candide, "you live? I find you again inPortugal? then you have not been ravished? then they did not rip openyour belly as Doctor Pangloss informed me?"

"Yes, they did, " said the beautiful Cunegonde; "but those two accidentsare not always mortal. "

"But were your father and mother killed?"

"It is but too true, " answered Cunegonde, in tears. 

"And your brother?"

"My brother also was killed. "

"And why are you in Portugal? and how did you know of my being here? andby what strange adventure did you contrive to bring me to this house?"

"I will tell you all that, " replied the lady, "but first of all let meknow your history, since the innocent kiss you gave me and the kickswhich you received. "

Candide respectfully obeyed her, and though he was still in a surprise, though his voice was feeble and trembling, though his back still painedhim, yet he gave her a most ingenuous account of everything that hadbefallen him since the moment of their separation. Cunegonde lifted upher eyes to heaven; shed tears upon hearing of the death of the goodAnabaptist and of Pangloss; after which she spoke as follows to Candide, who did not lose a word and devoured her with his eyes. 

VIII

THE HISTORY OF CUNEGONDE. 

"I was in bed and fast asleep when it pleased God to send the Bulgariansto our delightful castle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh; they slew my father andbrother, and cut my mother in pieces. A tall Bulgarian, six feet high, perceiving that I had fainted away at this sight, began to ravish me;this made me recover; I regained my senses, I cried, I struggled, I bit, I scratched, I wanted to tear out the tall Bulgarian's eyes--not knowingthat what happened at my father's house was the usual practice of war. The brute gave me a cut in the left side with his hanger, and the markis still upon me. "

"Ah! I hope I shall see it, " said honest Candide. 

"You shall, " said Cunegonde, "but let us continue. "

"Do so, " replied Candide. 

Thus she resumed the thread of her story:

"A Bulgarian captain came in, saw me all bleeding, and the soldier notin the least disconcerted. The captain flew into a passion at thedisrespectful behaviour of the brute, and slew him on my body. Heordered my wounds to be dressed, and took me to his quarters as aprisoner of war. I washed the few shirts that he had, I did his cooking;he thought me very pretty--he avowed it; on the other hand, I must ownhe had a good shape, and a soft and white skin; but he had little or nomind or philosophy, and you might see plainly that he had never beeninstructed by Doctor Pangloss. In three months time, having lost all hismoney, and being grown tired of my company, he sold me to a Jew, namedDon Issachar, who traded to Holland and Portugal, and had a strongpassion for women. This Jew was much attached to my person, but couldnot triumph over it; I resisted him better than the Bulgarian soldier. Amodest woman may be ravished once, but her virtue is strengthened by it. In order to render me more tractable, he brought me to this countryhouse. Hitherto I had imagined that nothing could equal the beauty ofThunder-ten-Tronckh Castle; but I found I was mistaken. 

"The Grand Inquisitor, seeing me one day at Mass, stared long at me, andsent to tell me that he wished to speak on private matters. I wasconducted to his palace, where I acquainted him with the history of myfamily, and he represented to me how much it was beneath my rank tobelong to an Israelite. A proposal was then made to Don Issachar that heshould resign me to my lord. Don Issachar, being the court banker, and aman of credit, would hear nothing of it. The Inquisitor threatened himwith an _auto-da-fé_. At last my Jew, intimidated, concluded a bargain, by which the house and myself should belong to both in common; the Jewshould have for himself Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, and theInquisitor should have the rest of the week. It is now six months sincethis agreement was made. Quarrels have not been wanting, for they couldnot decide whether the night from Saturday to Sunday belonged to the oldlaw or to the new. For my part, I have so far held out against both, andI verily believe that this is the reason why I am still beloved. 

"At length, to avert the scourge of earthquakes, and to intimidate DonIssachar, my Lord Inquisitor was pleased to celebrate an _auto-da-fé_. He did me the honour to invite me to the ceremony. I had a very goodseat, and the ladies were served with refreshments between Mass and theexecution. I was in truth seized with horror at the burning of those twoJews, and of the honest Biscayner who had married his godmother; butwhat was my surprise, my fright, my trouble, when I saw in a_san-benito_ and mitre a figure which resembled that of Pangloss! Irubbed my eyes, I looked at him attentively, I saw him hung; I fainted. Scarcely had I recovered my senses than I saw you stripped, stark naked, and this was the height of my horror, consternation, grief, and despair. I tell you, truthfully, that your skin is yet whiter and of a moreperfect colour than that of my Bulgarian captain. This spectacleredoubled all the feelings which overwhelmed and devoured me. I screamedout, and would have said, 'Stop, barbarians!' but my voice failed me, and my cries would have been useless after you had been severelywhipped. How is it possible, said I, that the beloved Candide and thewise Pangloss should both be at Lisbon, the one to receive a hundredlashes, and the other to be hanged by the Grand Inquisitor, of whom I amthe well-beloved? Pangloss most cruelly deceived me when he said thateverything in the world is for the best. 

"Agitated, lost, sometimes beside myself, and sometimes ready to die ofweakness, my mind was filled with the massacre of my father, mother, andbrother, with the insolence of the ugly Bulgarian soldier, with the stabthat he gave me, with my servitude under the Bulgarian captain, with myhideous Don Issachar, with my abominable Inquisitor, with the executionof Doctor Pangloss, with the grand Miserere to which they whipped you, and especially with the kiss I gave you behind the screen the day that Ihad last seen you. I praised God for bringing you back to me after somany trials, and I charged my old woman to take care of you, and toconduct you hither as soon as possible. She has executed her commissionperfectly well; I have tasted the inexpressible pleasure of seeing youagain, of hearing you, of speaking with you. But you must be hungry, formyself, I am famished; let us have supper. "

They both sat down to table, and, when supper was over, they placedthemselves once more on the sofa; where they were when Signor DonIssachar arrived. It was the Jewish Sabbath, and Issachar had come toenjoy his rights, and to explain his tender love. 

IX

WHAT BECAME OF CUNEGONDE, CANDIDE, THE GRAND INQUISITOR, AND THE JEW. 

This Issachar was the most choleric Hebrew that had ever been seen inIsrael since the Captivity in Babylon. 

"What!" said he, "thou bitch of a Galilean, was not the Inquisitorenough for thee? Must this rascal also share with me?"

In saying this he drew a long poniard which he always carried about him;and not imagining that his adversary had any arms he threw himself uponCandide: but our honest Westphalian had received a handsome sword fromthe old woman along with the suit of clothes. He drew his rapier, despite his gentleness, and laid the Israelite stone dead upon thecushions at Cunegonde's feet. 

"Holy Virgin!" cried she, "what will become of us? A man killed in myapartment! If the officers of justice come, we are lost!"

"Had not Pangloss been hanged, " said Candide, "he would give us goodcounsel in this emergency, for he was a profound philosopher. Failinghim let us consult the old woman. "

She was very prudent and commenced to give her opinion when suddenlyanother little door opened. It was an hour after midnight, it was thebeginning of Sunday. This day belonged to my lord the Inquisitor. Heentered, and saw the whipped Candide, sword in hand, a dead man upon thefloor, Cunegonde aghast, and the old woman giving counsel. 

At this moment, the following is what passed in the soul of Candide, andhow he reasoned:

If this holy man call in assistance, he will surely have me burnt; andCunegonde will perhaps be served in the same manner; he was the cause ofmy being cruelly whipped; he is my rival; and, as I have now begun tokill, I will kill away, for there is no time to hesitate. This reasoningwas clear and instantaneous; so that without giving time to theInquisitor to recover from his surprise, he pierced him through andthrough, and cast him beside the Jew. 

"Yet again!" said Cunegonde, "now there is no mercy for us, we areexcommunicated, our last hour has come. How could you do it? you, naturally so gentle, to slay a Jew and a prelate in two minutes!"

"My beautiful young lady, " responded Candide, "when one is a lover, jealous and whipped by the Inquisition, one stops at nothing. "

The old woman then put in her word, saying:

"There are three Andalusian horses in the stable with bridles andsaddles, let the brave Candide get them ready; madame has money, jewels;let us therefore mount quickly on horseback, though I can sit only onone buttock; let us set out for Cadiz, it is the finest weather in theworld, and there is great pleasure in travelling in the cool of thenight. "

Immediately Candide saddled the three horses, and Cunegonde, the oldwoman and he, travelled thirty miles at a stretch. While they werejourneying, the Holy Brotherhood entered the house; my lord theInquisitor was interred in a handsome church, and Issachar's body wasthrown upon a dunghill. 

Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, had now reached the little townof Avacena in the midst of the mountains of the Sierra Morena, and werespeaking as follows in a public inn. 

X

IN WHAT DISTRESS CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, AND THE OLD WOMAN ARRIVED AT CADIZ;AND OF THEIR EMBARKATION. 

"Who was it that robbed me of my money and jewels?" said Cunegonde, allbathed in tears. "How shall we live? What shall we do? Where findInquisitors or Jews who will give me more?"

"Alas!" said the old woman, "I have a shrewd suspicion of a reverendGrey Friar, who stayed last night in the same inn with us at Badajos. God preserve me from judging rashly, but he came into our room twice, and he set out upon his journey long before us. "

"Alas!" said Candide, "dear Pangloss has often demonstrated to me thatthe goods of this world are common to all men, and that each has anequal right to them. But according to these principles the Grey Friarought to have left us enough to carry us through our journey. Have younothing at all left, my dear Cunegonde?"

"Not a farthing, " said she. 

"What then must we do?" said Candide. 

"Sell one of the horses, " replied the old woman. "I will ride behindMiss Cunegonde, though I can hold myself only on one buttock, and weshall reach Cadiz. "

In the same inn there was a Benedictine prior who bought the horse for acheap price. Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, having passedthrough Lucena, Chillas, and Lebrixa, arrived at length at Cadiz. Afleet was there getting ready, and troops assembling to bring to reasonthe reverend Jesuit Fathers of Paraguay, accused of having made one ofthe native tribes in the neighborhood of San Sacrament revolt againstthe Kings of Spain and Portugal. Candide having been in the Bulgarianservice, performed the military exercise before the general of thislittle army with so graceful an address, with so intrepid an air, andwith such agility and expedition, that he was given the command of acompany of foot. Now, he was a captain! He set sail with Miss Cunegonde, the old woman, two valets, and the two Andalusian horses, which hadbelonged to the grand Inquisitor of Portugal. 

During their voyage they reasoned a good deal on the philosophy of poorPangloss. 

"We are going into another world, " said Candide; "and surely it must bethere that all is for the best. For I must confess there is reason tocomplain a little of what passeth in our world in regard to bothnatural and moral philosophy. "

"I love you with all my heart, " said Cunegonde; "but my soul is stillfull of fright at that which I have seen and experienced. "

"All will be well, " replied Candide; "the sea of this new world isalready better than our European sea; it is calmer, the winds moreregular. It is certainly the New World which is the best of all possibleworlds. "

"God grant it, " said Cunegonde; "but I have been so horribly unhappythere that my heart is almost closed to hope. "

"You complain, " said the old woman; "alas! you have not known suchmisfortunes as mine. "

Cunegonde almost broke out laughing, finding the good woman veryamusing, for pretending to have been as unfortunate as she. 

"Alas!" said Cunegonde, "my good mother, unless you have been ravishedby two Bulgarians, have received two deep wounds in your belly, have hadtwo castles demolished, have had two mothers cut to pieces before youreyes, and two of your lovers whipped at an _auto-da-fé_, I do notconceive how you could be more unfortunate than I. Add that I was born abaroness of seventy-two quarterings--and have been a cook!"

"Miss, " replied the old woman, "you do not know my birth; and were I toshow you my backside, you would not talk in that manner, but wouldsuspend your judgment. "

This speech having raised extreme curiosity in the minds of Cunegondeand Candide, the old woman spoke to them as follows. 

XI

HISTORY OF THE OLD WOMAN. 

"I had not always bleared eyes and red eyelids; neither did my nosealways touch my chin; nor was I always a servant. I am the daughter ofPope Urban X, [10] and of the Princess of Palestrina. Until the age offourteen I was brought up in a palace, to which all the castles of yourGerman barons would scarcely have served for stables; and one of myrobes was worth more than all the magnificence of Westphalia. As I grewup I improved in beauty, wit, and every graceful accomplishment, in themidst of pleasures, hopes, and respectful homage. Already I inspiredlove. My throat was formed, and such a throat! white, firm, and shapedlike that of the Venus of Medici; and what eyes! what eyelids! whatblack eyebrows! such flames darted from my dark pupils that theyeclipsed the scintillation of the stars--as I was told by the poets inour part of the world. My waiting women, when dressing and undressingme, used to fall into an ecstasy, whether they viewed me before orbehind; how glad would the gentlemen have been to perform that officefor them!

"I was affianced to the most excellent Prince of Massa Carara. Such aprince! as handsome as myself, sweet-tempered, agreeable, brilliantlywitty, and sparkling with love. I loved him as one loves for the firsttime--with idolatry, with transport. The nuptials were prepared. Therewas surprising pomp and magnificence; there were _fêtes_, carousals, continual _opera bouffe_; and all Italy composed sonnets in my praise, though not one of them was passable. I was just upon the point ofreaching the summit of bliss, when an old marchioness who had beenmistress to the Prince, my husband, invited him to drink chocolate withher. He died in less than two hours of most terrible convulsions. Butthis is only a bagatelle. My mother, in despair, and scarcely lessafflicted than myself, determined to absent herself for some time fromso fatal a place. She had a very fine estate in the neighbourhood ofGaeta. We embarked on board a galley of the country which was gildedlike the great altar of St. Peter's at Rome. A Sallee corsair swoopeddown and boarded us. Our men defended themselves like the Pope'ssoldiers; they flung themselves upon their knees, and threw down theirarms, begging of the corsair an absolution _in articulo mortis_. 

"Instantly they were stripped as bare as monkeys; my mother, our maidsof honour, and myself were all served in the same manner. It is amazingwith what expedition those gentry undress people. But what surprised memost was, that they thrust their fingers into the part of our bodieswhich the generality of women suffer no other instrument but--pipes toenter. It appeared to me a very strange kind of ceremony; but thus onejudges of things when one has not seen the world. I afterwards learntthat it was to try whether we had concealed any diamonds. This is thepractice established from time immemorial, among civilised nations thatscour the seas. I was informed that the very religious Knights of Maltanever fail to make this search when they take any Turkish prisoners ofeither sex. It is a law of nations from which they never deviate. 

"I need not tell _you_ how great a hardship it was for a young princessand her mother to be made slaves and carried to Morocco. You may easilyimagine all we had to suffer on board the pirate vessel. My mother wasstill very handsome; our maids of honour, and even our waiting women, had more charms than are to be found in all Africa. As for myself, I wasravishing, was exquisite, grace itself, and I was a virgin! I did notremain so long; this flower, which had been reserved for the handsomePrince of Massa Carara, was plucked by the corsair captain. He was anabominable negro, and yet believed that he did me a great deal ofhonour. Certainly the Princess of Palestrina and myself must have beenvery strong to go through all that we experienced until our arrival atMorocco. But let us pass on; these are such common things as not to beworth mentioning. 

"Morocco swam in blood when we arrived. Fifty sons of the EmperorMuley-Ismael[11] had each their adherents; this produced fifty civilwars, of blacks against blacks, and blacks against tawnies, and tawniesagainst tawnies, and mulattoes against mulattoes. In short it was acontinual carnage throughout the empire. 

"No sooner were we landed, than the blacks of a contrary faction to thatof my captain attempted to rob him of his booty. Next to jewels and goldwe were the most valuable things he had. I was witness to such a battleas you have never seen in your European climates. The northern nationshave not that heat in their blood, nor that raging lust for women, socommon in Africa. It seems that you Europeans have only milk in yourveins; but it is vitriol, it is fire which runs in those of theinhabitants of Mount Atlas and the neighbouring countries. They foughtwith the fury of the lions, tigers, and serpents of the country, to seewho should have us. A Moor seized my mother by the right arm, while mycaptain's lieutenant held her by the left; a Moorish soldier had hold ofher by one leg, and one of our corsairs held her by the other. Thusalmost all our women were drawn in quarters by four men. My captainconcealed me behind him; and with his drawn scimitar cut and slashedevery one that opposed his fury. At length I saw all our Italian women, and my mother herself, torn, mangled, massacred, by the monsters whodisputed over them. The slaves, my companions, those who had taken them, soldiers, sailors, blacks, whites, mulattoes, and at last my captain, all were killed, and I remained dying on a heap of dead. Such scenes asthis were transacted through an extent of three hundred leagues--and yetthey never missed the five prayers a day ordained by Mahomet. 

"With difficulty I disengaged myself from such a heap of slaughteredbodies, and crawled to a large orange tree on the bank of a neighbouringrivulet, where I fell, oppressed with fright, fatigue, horror, despair, and hunger. Immediately after, my senses, overpowered, gave themselvesup to sleep, which was yet more swooning than repose. I was in thisstate of weakness and insensibility, between life and death, when Ifelt myself pressed by something that moved upon my body. I opened myeyes, and saw a white man, of good countenance, who sighed, and who saidbetween his teeth: '_O che sciagura d'essere senza coglioni!_'"[12]

XII

THE ADVENTURES OF THE OLD WOMAN CONTINUED. 

"Astonished and delighted to hear my native language, and no lesssurprised at what this man said, I made answer that there were muchgreater misfortunes than that of which he complained. I told him in afew words of the horrors which I had endured, and fainted a second time. He carried me to a neighbouring house, put me to bed, gave me food, waited upon me, consoled me, flattered me; he told me that he had neverseen any one so beautiful as I, and that he never so much regretted theloss of what it was impossible to recover. 

"'I was born at Naples, ' said he, 'there they geld two or three thousandchildren every year; some die of the operation, others acquire a voicemore beautiful than that of women, and others are raised to offices ofstate. [13] This operation was performed on me with great success and Iwas chapel musician to madam, the Princess of Palestrina. '

"'To my mother!' cried I. 

"'Your mother!' cried he, weeping. 'What! can you be that youngprincess whom I brought up until the age of six years, and who promisedso early to be as beautiful as you?'

"'It is I, indeed; but my mother lies four hundred yards hence, torn inquarters, under a heap of dead bodies. '

"I told him all my adventures, and he made me acquainted with his;telling me that he had been sent to the Emperor of Morocco by aChristian power, to conclude a treaty with that prince, in consequenceof which he was to be furnished with military stores and ships to helpto demolish the commerce of other Christian Governments. 

"'My mission is done, ' said this honest eunuch; 'I go to embark forCeuta, and will take you to Italy. _Ma che sciagura d'essere senzacoglioni!_'

"I thanked him with tears of commiseration; and instead of taking me toItaly he conducted me to Algiers, where he sold me to the Dey. Scarcelywas I sold, than the plague which had made the tour of Africa, Asia, andEurope, broke out with great malignancy in Algiers. You have seenearthquakes; but pray, miss, have you ever had the plague?"

"Never, " answered Cunegonde. 

"If you had, " said the old woman, "you would acknowledge that it is farmore terrible than an earthquake. It is common in Africa, and I caughtit. Imagine to yourself the distressed situation of the daughter of aPope, only fifteen years old, who, in less than three months, had feltthe miseries of poverty and slavery, had been ravished almost every day, had beheld her mother drawn in quarters, had experienced famine and war, and was dying of the plague in Algiers. I did not die, however, but myeunuch, and the Dey, and almost the whole seraglio of Algiers perished. 

"As soon as the first fury of this terrible pestilence was over, a salewas made of the Dey's slaves; I was purchased by a merchant, and carriedto Tunis; this man sold me to another merchant, who sold me again toanother at Tripoli; from Tripoli I was sold to Alexandria, fromAlexandria to Smyrna, and from Smyrna to Constantinople. At length Ibecame the property of an Aga of the Janissaries, who was soon orderedaway to the defence of Azof, then besieged by the Russians. 

"The Aga, who was a very gallant man, took his whole seraglio with him, and lodged us in a small fort on the Palus Méotides, guarded by twoblack eunuchs and twenty soldiers. The Turks killed prodigious numbersof the Russians, but the latter had their revenge. Azof was destroyed byfire, the inhabitants put to the sword, neither sex nor age was spared;until there remained only our little fort, and the enemy wanted tostarve us out. The twenty Janissaries had sworn they would neversurrender. The extremities of famine to which they were reduced, obligedthem to eat our two eunuchs, for fear of violating their oath. And atthe end of a few days they resolved also to devour the women. 

"We had a very pious and humane Iman, who preached an excellent sermon, exhorting them not to kill us all at once. 

"'Only cut off a buttock of each of those ladies, ' said he, 'and you'llfare extremely well; if you must go to it again, there will be the sameentertainment a few days hence; heaven will accept of so charitable anaction, and send you relief. '

"He had great eloquence; he persuaded them; we underwent this terribleoperation. The Iman applied the same balsam to us, as he does tochildren after circumcision; and we all nearly died. 

"Scarcely had the Janissaries finished the repast with which we hadfurnished them, than the Russians came in flat-bottomed boats; not aJanissary escaped. The Russians paid no attention to the condition wewere in. There are French surgeons in all parts of the world; one ofthem who was very clever took us under his care--he cured us; and aslong as I live I shall remember that as soon as my wounds were healed hemade proposals to me. He bid us all be of good cheer, telling us thatthe like had happened in many sieges, and that it was according to thelaws of war. 

"As soon as my companions could walk, they were obliged to set out forMoscow. I fell to the share of a Boyard who made me his gardener, andgave me twenty lashes a day. But this nobleman having in two years' timebeen broke upon the wheel along with thirty more Boyards for some broilsat court, I profited by that event; I fled. I traversed all Russia; Iwas a long time an inn-holder's servant at Riga, the same at Rostock, atVismar, at Leipzig, at Cassel, at Utrecht, at Leyden, at the Hague, atRotterdam. I waxed old in misery and disgrace, having only one-half ofmy posteriors, and always remembering I was a Pope's daughter. A hundredtimes I was upon the point of killing myself; but still I loved life. This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most fatal characteristics;for is there anything more absurd than to wish to carry continually aburden which one can always throw down? to detest existence and yet tocling to one's existence? in brief, to caress the serpent which devoursus, till he has eaten our very heart?

"In the different countries which it has been my lot to traverse, andthe numerous inns where I have been servant, I have taken notice of avast number of people who held their own existence in abhorrence, andyet I never knew of more than eight who voluntarily put an end to theirmisery; three negroes, four Englishmen, and a German professor namedRobek. [14] I ended by being servant to the Jew, Don Issachar, who placedme near your presence, my fair lady. I am determined to share your fate, and have been much more affected with your misfortunes than with my own. I would never even have spoken to you of my misfortunes, had you notpiqued me a little, and if it were not customary to tell stories onboard a ship in order to pass away the time. In short, Miss Cunegonde, Ihave had experience, I know the world; therefore I advise you to divertyourself, and prevail upon each passenger to tell his story; and ifthere be one of them all, that has not cursed his life many a time, thathas not frequently looked upon himself as the unhappiest of mortals, Igive you leave to throw me headforemost into the sea. "

XIII

HOW CANDIDE WAS FORCED AWAY FROM HIS FAIR CUNEGONDE AND THE OLD WOMAN. 

The beautiful Cunegonde having heard the old woman's history, paid herall the civilities due to a person of her rank and merit. She likewiseaccepted her proposal, and engaged all the passengers, one after theother, to relate their adventures; and then both she and Candide allowedthat the old woman was in the right. 

"It is a great pity, " said Candide, "that the sage Pangloss was hangedcontrary to custom at an _auto-da-fé_; he would tell us most amazingthings in regard to the physical and moral evils that overspread earthand sea, and I should be able, with due respect, to make a fewobjections. "

While each passenger was recounting his story, the ship made her way. They landed at Buenos Ayres. Cunegonde, Captain Candide, and the oldwoman, waited on the Governor, Don Fernando d'Ibaraa, y Figueora, yMascarenes, y Lampourdos, y Souza. This nobleman had a statelinessbecoming a person who bore so many names. He spoke to men with so noblea disdain, carried his nose so loftily, raised his voice sounmercifully, assumed so imperious an air, and stalked with suchintolerable pride, that those who saluted him were strongly inclined togive him a good drubbing. Cunegonde appeared to him the most beautifulhe had ever met. The first thing he did was to ask whether she was notthe captain's wife. The manner in which he asked the question alarmedCandide; he durst not say she was his wife, because indeed she was not;neither durst he say she was his sister, because it was not so; andalthough this obliging lie had been formerly much in favour among theancients, and although it could be useful to the moderns, his soul wastoo pure to betray the truth. 

"Miss Cunegonde, " said he, "is to do me the honour to marry me, and webeseech your excellency to deign to sanction our marriage. "

Don Fernando d'Ibaraa, y Figueora, y Mascarenes, y Lampourdos, y Souza, turning up his moustachios, smiled mockingly, and ordered CaptainCandide to go and review his company. Candide obeyed, and the Governorremained alone with Miss Cunegonde. He declared his passion, protestinghe would marry her the next day in the face of the church, or otherwise, just as should be agreeable to herself. Cunegonde asked a quarter of anhour to consider of it, to consult the old woman, and to take herresolution. 

The old woman spoke thus to Cunegonde:

"Miss, you have seventy-two quarterings, and not a farthing; it is nowin your power to be wife to the greatest lord in South America, who hasvery beautiful moustachios. Is it for you to pique yourself uponinviolable fidelity? You have been ravished by Bulgarians; a Jew and anInquisitor have enjoyed your favours. Misfortune gives sufficientexcuse. I own, that if I were in your place, I should have no scruple inmarrying the Governor and in making the fortune of Captain Candide. "

While the old woman spoke with all the prudence which age and experiencegave, a small ship entered the port on board of which were an Alcaldeand his alguazils, and this was what had happened. 

As the old woman had shrewdly guessed, it was a Grey Friar who stoleCunegonde's money and jewels in the town of Badajos, when she andCandide were escaping. The Friar wanted to sell some of the diamonds toa jeweller; the jeweller knew them to be the Grand Inquisitor's. TheFriar before he was hanged confessed he had stolen them. He describedthe persons, and the route they had taken. The flight of Cunegonde andCandide was already known. They were traced to Cadiz. A vessel wasimmediately sent in pursuit of them. The vessel was already in the portof Buenos Ayres. The report spread that the Alcalde was going to land, and that he was in pursuit of the murderers of my lord the GrandInquisitor. The prudent old woman saw at once what was to be done. 

"You cannot run away, " said she to Cunegonde, "and you have nothing tofear, for it was not you that killed my lord; besides the Governor wholoves you will not suffer you to be ill-treated; therefore stay. "

She then ran immediately to Candide. 

"Fly, " said she, "or in an hour you will be burnt. "

There was not a moment to lose; but how could he part from Cunegonde, and where could he flee for shelter?

XIV

HOW CANDIDE AND CACAMBO WERE RECEIVED BY THE JESUITS OF PARAGUAY. 

Candide had brought such a valet with him from Cadiz, as one often meetswith on the coasts of Spain and in the American colonies. He was aquarter Spaniard, born of a mongrel in Tucuman; he had been singing-boy, sacristan, sailor, monk, pedlar, soldier, and lackey. His name wasCacambo, and he loved his master, because his master was a very goodman. He quickly saddled the two Andalusian horses. 

"Come, master, let us follow the old woman's advice; let us start, andrun without looking behind us. "

Candide shed tears. 

"Oh! my dear Cunegonde! must I leave you just at a time when theGovernor was going to sanction our nuptials? Cunegonde, brought to sucha distance what will become of you?"

"She will do as well as she can, " said Cacambo; "the women are never ata loss, God provides for them, let us run. "

"Whither art thou carrying me? Where shall we go? What shall we dowithout Cunegonde?" said Candide. 

"By St. James of Compostella, " said Cacambo, "you were going to fightagainst the Jesuits; let us go to fight for them; I know the road well, I'll conduct you to their kingdom, where they will be charmed to have acaptain that understands the Bulgarian exercise. You'll make aprodigious fortune; if we cannot find our account in one world we shallin another. It is a great pleasure to see and do new things. "

"You have before been in Paraguay, then?" said Candide. 

"Ay, sure, " answered Cacambo, "I was servant in the College of theAssumption, and am acquainted with the government of the good Fathers aswell as I am with the streets of Cadiz. It is an admirable government. The kingdom is upwards of three hundred leagues in diameter, and dividedinto thirty provinces; there the Fathers possess all, and the peoplenothing; it is a masterpiece of reason and justice. For my part I seenothing so divine as the Fathers who here make war upon the kings ofSpain and Portugal, and in Europe confess those kings; who here killSpaniards, and in Madrid send them to heaven; this delights me, let uspush forward. You are going to be the happiest of mortals. What pleasurewill it be to those Fathers to hear that a captain who knows theBulgarian exercise has come to them!"

As soon as they reached the first barrier, Cacambo told the advancedguard that a captain wanted to speak with my lord the Commandant. Noticewas given to the main guard, and immediately a Paraguayan officer ranand laid himself at the feet of the Commandant, to impart this news tohim. Candide and Cacambo were disarmed, and their two Andalusian horsesseized. The strangers were introduced between two files of musketeers;the Commandant was at the further end, with the three-cornered cap onhis head, his gown tucked up, a sword by his side, and a spontoon[15] inhis hand. He beckoned, and straightway the new-comers were encompassedby four-and-twenty soldiers. A sergeant told them they must wait, thatthe Commandant could not speak to them, and that the reverend FatherProvincial does not suffer any Spaniard to open his mouth but in hispresence, or to stay above three hours in the province. 

"And where is the reverend Father Provincial?" said Cacambo. 

"He is upon the parade just after celebrating mass, " answered thesergeant, "and you cannot kiss his spurs till three hours hence. "

"However, " said Cacambo, "the captain is not a Spaniard, but a German, he is ready to perish with hunger as well as myself; cannot we havesomething for breakfast, while we wait for his reverence?"

The sergeant went immediately to acquaint the Commandant with what hehad heard. 

"God be praised!" said the reverend Commandant, "since he is a German, Imay speak to him; take him to my arbour. "

Candide was at once conducted to a beautiful summer-house, ornamentedwith a very pretty colonnade of green and gold marble, and withtrellises, enclosing parraquets, humming-birds, fly-birds, guinea-hens, and all other rare birds. An excellent breakfast was provided in vesselsof gold; and while the Paraguayans were eating maize out of woodendishes, in the open fields and exposed to the heat of the sun, thereverend Father Commandant retired to his arbour. 

He was a very handsome young man, with a full face, white skin but highin colour; he had an arched eyebrow, a lively eye, red ears, vermilionlips, a bold air, but such a boldness as neither belonged to a Spaniardnor a Jesuit. They returned their arms to Candide and Cacambo, and alsothe two Andalusian horses; to whom Cacambo gave some oats to eat just bythe arbour, having an eye upon them all the while for fear of asurprise. 

Candide first kissed the hem of the Commandant's robe, then they satdown to table. 

"You are, then, a German?" said the Jesuit to him in that language. 

"Yes, reverend Father, " answered Candide. 

As they pronounced these words they looked at each other with greatamazement, and with such an emotion as they could not conceal. 

"And from what part of Germany do you come?" said the Jesuit. 

"I am from the dirty province of Westphalia, " answered Candide; "I wasborn in the Castle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh. "

"Oh! Heavens! is it possible?" cried the Commandant. 

"What a miracle!" cried Candide. 

"Is it really you?" said the Commandant. 

"It is not possible!" said Candide. 

They drew back; they embraced; they shed rivulets of tears. 

"What, is it you, reverend Father? You, the brother of the fairCunegonde! You, that was slain by the Bulgarians! You, the Baron's son!You, a Jesuit in Paraguay! I must confess this is a strange world thatwe live in. Oh, Pangloss! Pangloss! how glad you would be if you had notbeen hanged!"

The Commandant sent away the negro slaves and the Paraguayans, whoserved them with liquors in goblets of rock-crystal. He thanked God andSt. Ignatius a thousand times; he clasped Candide in his arms; and theirfaces were all bathed with tears. 

"You will be more surprised, more affected, and transported, " saidCandide, "when I tell you that Cunegonde, your sister, whom you believeto have been ripped open, is in perfect health. "

"Where?"

"In your neighbourhood, with the Governor of Buenos Ayres; and I wasgoing to fight against you. "

Every word which they uttered in this long conversation but added wonderto wonder. Their souls fluttered on their tongues, listened in theirears, and sparkled in their eyes. As they were Germans, they sat a goodwhile at table, waiting for the reverend Father Provincial, and theCommandant spoke to his dear Candide as follows. 

XV

HOW CANDIDE KILLED THE BROTHER OF HIS DEAR CUNEGONDE. 

"I shall have ever present to my memory the dreadful day, on which I sawmy father and mother killed, and my sister ravished. When the Bulgariansretired, my dear sister could not be found; but my mother, my father, and myself, with two maid-servants and three little boys all of whom hadbeen slain, were put in a hearse, to be conveyed for interment to achapel belonging to the Jesuits, within two leagues of our family seat. A Jesuit sprinkled us with some holy water; it was horribly salt; a fewdrops of it fell into my eyes; the father perceived that my eyelidsstirred a little; he put his hand upon my heart and felt it beat. Ireceived assistance, and at the end of three weeks I recovered. Youknow, my dear Candide, I was very pretty; but I grew much prettier, andthe reverend Father Didrie, [16] Superior of that House, conceived thetenderest friendship for me; he gave me the habit of the order, someyears after I was sent to Rome. The Father-General needed new levies ofyoung German-Jesuits. The sovereigns of Paraguay admit as few SpanishJesuits as possible; they prefer those of other nations as being moresubordinate to their commands. I was judged fit by the reverendFather-General to go and work in this vineyard. We set out--a Pole, aTyrolese, and myself. Upon my arrival I was honoured with asub-deaconship and a lieutenancy. I am to-day colonel and priest. Weshall give a warm reception to the King of Spain's troops; I will answerfor it that they shall be excommunicated and well beaten. Providencesends you here to assist us. But is it, indeed, true that my dear sisterCunegonde is in the neighbourhood, with the Governor of Buenos Ayres?"

Candide assured him on oath that nothing was more true, and their tearsbegan afresh. 

The Baron could not refrain from embracing Candide; he called him hisbrother, his saviour. 

"Ah! perhaps, " said he, "we shall together, my dear Candide, enter thetown as conquerors, and recover my sister Cunegonde. "

"That is all I want, " said Candide, "for I intended to marry her, and Istill hope to do so. "

"You insolent!" replied the Baron, "would you have the impudence tomarry my sister who has seventy-two quarterings! I find thou hast themost consummate effrontery to dare to mention so presumptuous a design!"

Candide, petrified at this speech, made answer:

"Reverend Father, all the quarterings in the world signify nothing; Irescued your sister from the arms of a Jew and of an Inquisitor; she hasgreat obligations to me, she wishes to marry me; Master Pangloss alwaystold me that all men are equal, and certainly I will marry her. "

"We shall see that, thou scoundrel!" said the Jesuit Baron deThunder-ten-Tronckh, and that instant struck him across the face withthe flat of his sword. Candide in an instant drew his rapier, andplunged it up to the hilt in the Jesuit's belly; but in pulling it outreeking hot, he burst into tears. 

"Good God!" said he, "I have killed my old master, my friend, mybrother-in-law! I am the best-natured creature in the world, and yet Ihave already killed three men, and of these three two were priests. "

Cacambo, who stood sentry by the door of the arbour, ran to him. 

"We have nothing more for it than to sell our lives as dearly as wecan, " said his master to him, "without doubt some one will soon enterthe arbour, and we must die sword in hand. "

Cacambo, who had been in a great many scrapes in his lifetime, did notlose his head; he took the Baron's Jesuit habit, put it on Candide, gavehim the square cap, and made him mount on horseback. All this was donein the twinkling of an eye. 

"Let us gallop fast, master, everybody will take you for a Jesuit, goingto give directions to your men, and we shall have passed the frontiersbefore they will be able to overtake us. "

He flew as he spoke these words, crying out aloud in Spanish:

"Make way, make way, for the reverend Father Colonel. "

XVI

ADVENTURES OF THE TWO TRAVELLERS, WITH TWO GIRLS, TWO MONKEYS, AND THESAVAGES CALLED OREILLONS. 

Candide and his valet had got beyond the barrier, before it was known inthe camp that the German Jesuit was dead. The wary Cacambo had takencare to fill his wallet with bread, chocolate, bacon, fruit, and a fewbottles of wine. With their Andalusian horses they penetrated into anunknown country, where they perceived no beaten track. At length theycame to a beautiful meadow intersected with purling rills. Here our twoadventurers fed their horses. Cacambo proposed to his master to takesome food, and he set him an example. 

"How can you ask me to eat ham, " said Candide, "after killing theBaron's son, and being doomed never more to see the beautiful Cunegonde?What will it avail me to spin out my wretched days and drag them farfrom her in remorse and despair? And what will the _Journal ofTrevoux_[17] say?"

While he was thus lamenting his fate, he went on eating. The sun wentdown. The two wanderers heard some little cries which seemed to beuttered by women. They did not know whether they were cries of pain orjoy; but they started up precipitately with that inquietude and alarmwhich every little thing inspires in an unknown country. The noise wasmade by two naked girls, who tripped along the mead, while two monkeyswere pursuing them and biting their buttocks. Candide was moved withpity; he had learned to fire a gun in the Bulgarian service, and he wasso clever at it, that he could hit a filbert in a hedge without touchinga leaf of the tree. He took up his double-barrelled Spanish fusil, letit off, and killed the two monkeys. 

"God be praised! My dear Cacambo, I have rescued those two poorcreatures from a most perilous situation. If I have committed a sin inkilling an Inquisitor and a Jesuit, I have made ample amends by savingthe lives of these girls. Perhaps they are young ladies of family; andthis adventure may procure us great advantages in this country. "

He was continuing, but stopped short when he saw the two girls tenderlyembracing the monkeys, bathing their bodies in tears, and rending theair with the most dismal lamentations. 

"Little did I expect to see such good-nature, " said he at length toCacambo; who made answer:

"Master, you have done a fine thing now; you have slain the sweetheartsof those two young ladies. "

"The sweethearts! Is it possible? You are jesting, Cacambo, I can neverbelieve it!"

"Dear master, " replied Cacambo; "you are surprised at everything. Whyshould you think it so strange that in some countries there are monkeyswhich insinuate themselves into the good graces of the ladies; they area fourth part human, as I am a fourth part Spaniard. "

"Alas!" replied Candide, "I remember to have heard Master Pangloss say, that formerly such accidents used to happen; that these mixtures wereproductive of Centaurs, Fauns, and Satyrs; and that many of the ancientshad seen such monsters, but I looked upon the whole as fabulous. "

"You ought now to be convinced, " said Cacambo, "that it is the truth, and you see what use is made of those creatures, by persons that havenot had a proper education; all I fear is that those ladies will play ussome ugly trick. "

These sound reflections induced Candide to leave the meadow and toplunge into a wood. He supped there with Cacambo; and after cursing thePortuguese inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Ayres, and the Baron, theyfell asleep on moss. On awaking they felt that they could not move; forduring the night the Oreillons, who inhabited that country, and to whomthe ladies had denounced them, had bound them with cords made of thebark of trees. They were encompassed by fifty naked Oreillons, armedwith bows and arrows, with clubs and flint hatchets. Some were making alarge cauldron boil, others were preparing spits, and all cried:

"A Jesuit! a Jesuit! we shall be revenged, we shall have excellentcheer, let us eat the Jesuit, let us eat him up!"

"I told you, my dear master, " cried Cacambo sadly, "that those two girlswould play us some ugly trick. "

Candide seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried:

"We are certainly going to be either roasted or boiled. Ah! what wouldMaster Pangloss say, were he to see how pure nature is formed?Everything is right, may be, but I declare it is very hard to have lostMiss Cunegonde and to be put upon a spit by Oreillons. "

Cacambo never lost his head. 

"Do not despair, " said he to the disconsolate Candide, "I understand alittle of the jargon of these people, I will speak to them. "

"Be sure, " said Candide, "to represent to them how frightfully inhumanit is to cook men, and how very un-Christian. "

"Gentlemen, " said Cacambo, "you reckon you are to-day going to feastupon a Jesuit. It is all very well, nothing is more unjust than thus totreat your enemies. Indeed, the law of nature teaches us to kill ourneighbour, and such is the practice all over the world. If we do notaccustom ourselves to eating them, it is because we have better fare. But you have not the same resources as we; certainly it is much betterto devour your enemies than to resign to the crows and rooks the fruitsof your victory. But, gentlemen, surely you would not choose to eat yourfriends. You believe that you are going to spit a Jesuit, and he is yourdefender. It is the enemy of your enemies that you are going to roast. As for myself, I was born in your country; this gentleman is my master, and, far from being a Jesuit, he has just killed one, whose spoils hewears; and thence comes your mistake. To convince you of the truth ofwhat I say, take his habit and carry it to the first barrier of theJesuit kingdom, and inform yourselves whether my master did not kill aJesuit officer. It will not take you long, and you can always eat us ifyou find that I have lied to you. But I have told you the truth. You aretoo well acquainted with the principles of public law, humanity, andjustice not to pardon us. "

The Oreillons found this speech very reasonable. They deputed two oftheir principal people with all expedition to inquire into the truth ofthe matter; these executed their commission like men of sense, and soonreturned with good news. The Oreillons untied their prisoners, showedthem all sorts of civilities, offered them girls, gave them refreshment, and reconducted them to the confines of their territories, proclaimingwith great joy:

"He is no Jesuit! He is no Jesuit!"

Candide could not help being surprised at the cause of his deliverance. 

"What people!" said he; "what men! what manners! If I had not been solucky as to run Miss Cunegonde's brother through the body, I should havebeen devoured without redemption. But, after all, pure nature is good, since these people, instead of feasting upon my flesh, have shown me athousand civilities, when then I was not a Jesuit. "

XVII

ARRIVAL OF CANDIDE AND HIS VALET AT EL DORADO, AND WHAT THEY SAW THERE. 

"You see, " said Cacambo to Candide, as soon as they had reached thefrontiers of the Oreillons, "that this hemisphere is not better than theothers, take my word for it; let us go back to Europe by the shortestway. "

"How go back?" said Candide, "and where shall we go? to my own country?The Bulgarians and the Abares are slaying all; to Portugal? there Ishall be burnt; and if we abide here we are every moment in danger ofbeing spitted. But how can I resolve to quit a part of the world wheremy dear Cunegonde resides?"

"Let us turn towards Cayenne, " said Cacambo, "there we shall findFrenchmen, who wander all over the world; they may assist us; God willperhaps have pity on us. "

It was not easy to get to Cayenne; they knew vaguely in which directionto go, but rivers, precipices, robbers, savages, obstructed them all theway. Their horses died of fatigue. Their provisions were consumed; theyfed a whole month upon wild fruits, and found themselves at last near alittle river bordered with cocoa trees, which sustained their lives andtheir hopes. 

Cacambo, who was as good a counsellor as the old woman, said to Candide:

"We are able to hold out no longer; we have walked enough. I see anempty canoe near the river-side; let us fill it with cocoanuts, throwourselves into it, and go with the current; a river always leads to someinhabited spot. If we do not find pleasant things we shall at least findnew things. "

"With all my heart, " said Candide, "let us recommend ourselves toProvidence. "

They rowed a few leagues, between banks, in some places flowery, inothers barren; in some parts smooth, in others rugged. The stream everwidened, and at length lost itself under an arch of frightful rockswhich reached to the sky. The two travellers had the courage to committhemselves to the current. The river, suddenly contracting at thisplace, whirled them along with a dreadful noise and rapidity. At the endof four-and-twenty hours they saw daylight again, but their canoe wasdashed to pieces against the rocks. For a league they had to creep fromrock to rock, until at length they discovered an extensive plain, bounded by inaccessible mountains. The country was cultivated as muchfor pleasure as for necessity. On all sides the useful was also thebeautiful. The roads were covered, or rather adorned, with carriages ofa glittering form and substance, in which were men and women ofsurprising beauty, drawn by large red sheep which surpassed in fleetnessthe finest coursers of Andalusia, Tetuan, and Mequinez. [18]

"Here, however, is a country, " said Candide, "which is better thanWestphalia. "

He stepped out with Cacambo towards the first village which he saw. Somechildren dressed in tattered brocades played at quoits on the outskirts. Our travellers from the other world amused themselves by looking on. Thequoits were large round pieces, yellow, red, and green, which cast asingular lustre! The travellers picked a few of them off the ground;this was of gold, that of emeralds, the other of rubies--the least ofthem would have been the greatest ornament on the Mogul's throne. 

"Without doubt, " said Cacambo, "these children must be the king's sonsthat are playing at quoits!"

The village schoolmaster appeared at this moment and called them toschool. 

"There, " said Candide, "is the preceptor of the royal family. "

The little truants immediately quitted their game, leaving the quoitson the ground with all their other playthings. Candide gathered them up, ran to the master, and presented them to him in a most humble manner, giving him to understand by signs that their royal highnesses hadforgotten their gold and jewels. The schoolmaster, smiling, flung themupon the ground; then, looking at Candide with a good deal of surprise, went about his business. 

The travellers, however, took care to gather up the gold, the rubies, and the emeralds. 

"Where are we?" cried Candide. "The king's children in this country mustbe well brought up, since they are taught to despise gold and preciousstones. "

Cacambo was as much surprised as Candide. At length they drew near thefirst house in the village. It was built like an European palace. Acrowd of people pressed about the door, and there were still more in thehouse. They heard most agreeable music, and were aware of a deliciousodour of cooking. Cacambo went up to the door and heard they weretalking Peruvian; it was his mother tongue, for it is well known thatCacambo was born in Tucuman, in a village where no other language wasspoken. 

"I will be your interpreter here, " said he to Candide; "let us go in, itis a public-house. "

Immediately two waiters and two girls, dressed in cloth of gold, andtheir hair tied up with ribbons, invited them to sit down to table withthe landlord. They served four dishes of soup, each garnished with twoyoung parrots; a boiled condor[19] which weighed two hundred pounds; tworoasted monkeys, of excellent flavour; three hundred humming-birds inone dish, and six hundred fly-birds in another; exquisite ragouts;delicious pastries; the whole served up in dishes of a kind ofrock-crystal. The waiters and girls poured out several liqueurs drawnfrom the sugar-cane. 

Most of the company were chapmen and waggoners, all extremely polite;they asked Cacambo a few questions with the greatest circumspection, andanswered his in the most obliging manner. 

As soon as dinner was over, Cacambo believed as well as Candide thatthey might well pay their reckoning by laying down two of those largegold pieces which they had picked up. The landlord and landlady shoutedwith laughter and held their sides. When the fit was over:

"Gentlemen, " said the landlord, "it is plain you are strangers, and suchguests we are not accustomed to see; pardon us therefore for laughingwhen you offered us the pebbles from our highroads in payment of yourreckoning. You doubtless have not the money of the country; but it isnot necessary to have any money at all to dine in this house. Allhostelries established for the convenience of commerce are paid by thegovernment. You have fared but very indifferently because this is a poorvillage; but everywhere else, you will be received as you deserve. "

Cacambo explained this whole discourse with great astonishment toCandide, who was as greatly astonished to hear it. 

"What sort of a country then is this, " said they to one another; "acountry unknown to all the rest of the world, and where nature is of akind so different from ours? It is probably the country where all iswell; for there absolutely must be one such place. And, whatever MasterPangloss might say, I often found that things went very ill inWestphalia. "

XVIII

WHAT THEY SAW IN THE COUNTRY OF EL DORADO. 

Cacambo expressed his curiosity to the landlord, who made answer:

"I am very ignorant, but not the worse on that account. However, we havein this neighbourhood an old man retired from Court who is the mostlearned and most communicative person in the kingdom. "

At once he took Cacambo to the old man. Candide acted now only a secondcharacter, and accompanied his valet. They entered a very plain house, for the door was only of silver, and the ceilings were only of gold, butwrought in so elegant a taste as to vie with the richest. Theantechamber, indeed, was only encrusted with rubies and emeralds, butthe order in which everything was arranged made amends for this greatsimplicity. 

The old man received the strangers on his sofa, which was stuffed withhumming-birds' feathers, and ordered his servants to present them withliqueurs in diamond goblets; after which he satisfied their curiosityin the following terms:

"I am now one hundred and seventy-two years old, and I learnt of my latefather, Master of the Horse to the King, the amazing revolutions ofPeru, of which he had been an eyewitness. The kingdom we now inhabit isthe ancient country of the Incas, who quitted it very imprudently toconquer another part of the world, and were at length destroyed by theSpaniards. 

"More wise by far were the princes of their family, who remained intheir native country; and they ordained, with the consent of the wholenation, that none of the inhabitants should ever be permitted to quitthis little kingdom; and this has preserved our innocence and happiness. The Spaniards have had a confused notion of this country, and havecalled it _El Dorado_; and an Englishman, whose name was Sir WalterRaleigh, came very near it about a hundred years ago; but beingsurrounded by inaccessible rocks and precipices, we have hitherto beensheltered from the rapaciousness of European nations, who have aninconceivable passion for the pebbles and dirt of our land, for the sakeof which they would murder us to the last man. "

The conversation was long: it turned chiefly on their form ofgovernment, their manners, their women, their public entertainments, and the arts. At length Candide, having always had a taste formetaphysics, made Cacambo ask whether there was any religion in thatcountry. 

The old man reddened a little. 

"How then, " said he, "can you doubt it? Do you take us for ungratefulwretches?"

Cacambo humbly asked, "What was the religion in El Dorado?"

The old man reddened again. 

"Can there be two religions?" said he. "We have, I believe, the religionof all the world: we worship God night and morning. "

"Do you worship but one God?" said Cacambo, who still acted asinterpreter in representing Candide's doubts. 

"Surely, " said the old man, "there are not two, nor three, nor four. Imust confess the people from your side of the world ask veryextraordinary questions. "

Candide was not yet tired of interrogating the good old man; he wantedto know in what manner they prayed to God in El Dorado. 

"We do not pray to Him, " said the worthy sage; "we have nothing to askof Him; He has given us all we need, and we return Him thanks withoutceasing. "

Candide having a curiosity to see the priests asked where they were. The good old man smiled. 

"My friend, " said he, "we are all priests. The King and all the heads offamilies sing solemn canticles of thanksgiving every morning, accompanied by five or six thousand musicians. "

"What! have you no monks who teach, who dispute, who govern, who cabal, and who burn people that are not of their opinion?"

"We must be mad, indeed, if that were the case, " said the old man; "herewe are all of one opinion, and we know not what you mean by monks. "

During this whole discourse Candide was in raptures, and he said tohimself:

"This is vastly different from Westphalia and the Baron's castle. Hadour friend Pangloss seen El Dorado he would no longer have said that thecastle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh was the finest upon earth. It is evidentthat one must travel. "

After this long conversation the old man ordered a coach and six sheepto be got ready, and twelve of his domestics to conduct the travellersto Court. 

"Excuse me, " said he, "if my age deprives me of the honour ofaccompanying you. The King will receive you in a manner that cannotdisplease you; and no doubt you will make an allowance for the customsof the country, if some things should not be to your liking. "

Candide and Cacambo got into the coach, the six sheep flew, and in lessthan four hours they reached the King's palace situated at the extremityof the capital. The portal was two hundred and twenty feet high, and onehundred wide; but words are wanting to express the materials of which itwas built. It is plain such materials must have prodigious superiorityover those pebbles and sand which we call gold and precious stones. 

Twenty beautiful damsels of the King's guard received Candide andCacambo as they alighted from the coach, conducted them to the bath, anddressed them in robes woven of the down of humming-birds; after whichthe great crown officers, of both sexes, led them to the King'sapartment, between two files of musicians, a thousand on each side. Whenthey drew near to the audience chamber Cacambo asked one of the greatofficers in what way he should pay his obeisance to his Majesty; whetherthey should throw themselves upon their knees or on their stomachs;whether they should put their hands upon their heads or behind theirbacks; whether they should lick the dust off the floor; in a word, whatwas the ceremony?

"The custom, " said the great officer, "is to embrace the King, and tokiss him on each cheek. "

Candide and Cacambo threw themselves round his Majesty's neck. Hereceived them with all the goodness imaginable, and politely invitedthem to supper. 

While waiting they were shown the city, and saw the public edificesraised as high as the clouds, the market places ornamented with athousand columns, the fountains of spring water, those of rose water, those of liqueurs drawn from sugar-cane, incessantly flowing into thegreat squares, which were paved with a kind of precious stone, whichgave off a delicious fragrancy like that of cloves and cinnamon. Candideasked to see the court of justice, the parliament. They told him theyhad none, and that they were strangers to lawsuits. He asked if they hadany prisons, and they answered no. But what surprised him most and gavehim the greatest pleasure was the palace of sciences, where he saw agallery two thousand feet long, and filled with instruments employed inmathematics and physics. 

After rambling about the city the whole afternoon, and seeing but athousandth part of it, they were reconducted to the royal palace, whereCandide sat down to table with his Majesty, his valet Cacambo, andseveral ladies. Never was there a better entertainment, and never wasmore wit shown at a table than that which fell from his Majesty. Cacamboexplained the King's _bon-mots_ to Candide, and notwithstanding theywere translated they still appeared to be _bon-mots_. Of all the thingsthat surprised Candide this was not the least. 

They spent a month in this hospitable place. Candide frequently said toCacambo:

"I own, my friend, once more that the castle where I was born is nothingin comparison with this; but, after all, Miss Cunegonde is not here, andyou have, without doubt, some mistress in Europe. If we abide here weshall only be upon a footing with the rest, whereas, if we return to ourold world, only with twelve sheep laden with the pebbles of El Dorado, we shall be richer than all the kings in Europe. We shall have no moreInquisitors to fear, and we may easily recover Miss Cunegonde. "

This speech was agreeable to Cacambo; mankind are so fond of roving, ofmaking a figure in their own country, and of boasting of what they haveseen in their travels, that the two happy ones resolved to be no longerso, but to ask his Majesty's leave to quit the country. 

"You are foolish, " said the King. "I am sensible that my kingdom is buta small place, but when a person is comfortably settled in any part heshould abide there. I have not the right to detain strangers. It is atyranny which neither our manners nor our laws permit. All men are free. Go when you wish, but the going will be very difficult. It is impossibleto ascend that rapid river on which you came as by a miracle, and whichruns under vaulted rocks. The mountains which surround my kingdom areten thousand feet high, and as steep as walls; they are each over tenleagues in breadth, and there is no other way to descend them than byprecipices. However, since you absolutely wish to depart, I shall giveorders to my engineers to construct a machine that will convey you verysafely. When we have conducted you over the mountains no one canaccompany you further, for my subjects have made a vow never to quit thekingdom, and they are too wise to break it. Ask me besides anything thatyou please. "

"We desire nothing of your Majesty, " says Candide, "but a few sheepladen with provisions, pebbles, and the earth of this country. "

The King laughed. 

"I cannot conceive, " said he, "what pleasure you Europeans find in ouryellow clay, but take as much as you like, and great good may it doyou. "

At once he gave directions that his engineers should construct a machineto hoist up these two extraordinary men out of the kingdom. Threethousand good mathematicians went to work; it was ready in fifteen days, and did not cost more than twenty million sterling in the specie of thatcountry. They placed Candide and Cacambo on the machine. There were twogreat red sheep saddled and bridled to ride upon as soon as they werebeyond the mountains, twenty pack-sheep laden with provisions, thirtywith presents of the curiosities of the country, and fifty with gold, diamonds, and precious stones. The King embraced the two wanderers verytenderly. 

Their departure, with the ingenious manner in which they and their sheepwere hoisted over the mountains, was a splendid spectacle. Themathematicians took their leave after conveying them to a place ofsafety, and Candide had no other desire, no other aim, than to presenthis sheep to Miss Cunegonde. 

"Now, " said he, "we are able to pay the Governor of Buenos Ayres if MissCunegonde can be ransomed. Let us journey towards Cayenne. Let usembark, and we will afterwards see what kingdom we shall be able topurchase. "

XIX

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AT SURINAM AND HOW CANDIDE GOT ACQUAINTED WITHMARTIN. 

Our travellers spent the first day very agreeably. They were delightedwith possessing more treasure than all Asia, Europe, and Africa couldscrape together. Candide, in his raptures, cut Cunegonde's name on thetrees. The second day two of their sheep plunged into a morass, wherethey and their burdens were lost; two more died of fatigue a few daysafter; seven or eight perished with hunger in a desert; and otherssubsequently fell down precipices. At length, after travelling a hundreddays, only two sheep remained. Said Candide to Cacambo:

"My friend, you see how perishable are the riches of this world; thereis nothing solid but virtue, and the happiness of seeing Cunegonde oncemore. "

"I grant all you say, " said Cacambo, "but we have still two sheepremaining, with more treasure than the King of Spain will ever have; andI see a town which I take to be Surinam, belonging to the Dutch. We areat the end of all our troubles, and at the beginning of happiness. "

As they drew near the town, they saw a negro stretched upon the ground, with only one moiety of his clothes, that is, of his blue linen drawers;the poor man had lost his left leg and his right hand. 

"Good God!" said Candide in Dutch, "what art thou doing there, friend, in that shocking condition?"

"I am waiting for my master, Mynheer Vanderdendur, the famous merchant, "answered the negro. 

"Was it Mynheer Vanderdendur, " said Candide, "that treated thee thus?"

"Yes, sir, " said the negro, "it is the custom. They give us a pair oflinen drawers for our whole garment twice a year. When we work at thesugar-canes, and the mill snatches hold of a finger, they cut off thehand; and when we attempt to run away, they cut off the leg; both caseshave happened to me. This is the price at which you eat sugar in Europe. Yet when my mother sold me for ten patagons[20] on the coast of Guinea, she said to me: 'My dear child, bless our fetiches, adore them for ever;they will make thee live happily; thou hast the honour of being theslave of our lords, the whites, which is making the fortune of thyfather and mother. ' Alas! I know not whether I have made their fortunes;this I know, that they have not made mine. Dogs, monkeys, and parrotsare a thousand times less wretched than I. The Dutch fetiches, who haveconverted me, declare every Sunday that we are all of us children ofAdam--blacks as well as whites. I am not a genealogist, but if thesepreachers tell truth, we are all second cousins. Now, you must agree, that it is impossible to treat one's relations in a more barbarousmanner. "

"Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "thou hadst not guessed at thisabomination; it is the end. I must at last renounce thy optimism. "

"What is this optimism?" said Cacambo. 

"Alas!" said Candide, "it is the madness of maintaining that everythingis right when it is wrong. "

Looking at the negro, he shed tears, and weeping, he entered Surinam. 

The first thing they inquired after was whether there was a vessel inthe harbour which could be sent to Buenos Ayres. The person to whom theyapplied was a Spanish sea-captain, who offered to agree with them uponreasonable terms. He appointed to meet them at a public-house, whitherCandide and the faithful Cacambo went with their two sheep, and awaitedhis coming. 

Candide, who had his heart upon his lips, told the Spaniard all hisadventures, and avowed that he intended to elope with Miss Cunegonde. 

"Then I will take good care not to carry you to Buenos Ayres, " said theseaman. "I should be hanged, and so would you. The fair Cunegonde is mylord's favourite mistress. "

This was a thunderclap for Candide: he wept for a long while. At last hedrew Cacambo aside. 

"Here, my dear friend, " said he to him, "this thou must do. We have, each of us in his pocket, five or six millions in diamonds; you are moreclever than I; you must go and bring Miss Cunegonde from Buenos Ayres. If the Governor makes any difficulty, give him a million; if he will notrelinquish her, give him two; as you have not killed an Inquisitor, theywill have no suspicion of you; I'll get another ship, and go and waitfor you at Venice; that's a free country, where there is no dangereither from Bulgarians, Abares, Jews, or Inquisitors. "

Cacambo applauded this wise resolution. He despaired at parting from sogood a master, who had become his intimate friend; but the pleasure ofserving him prevailed over the pain of leaving him. They embraced withtears; Candide charged him not to forget the good old woman. Cacamboset out that very same day. This Cacambo was a very honest fellow. 

Candide stayed some time longer in Surinam, waiting for another captainto carry him and the two remaining sheep to Italy. After he had hireddomestics, and purchased everything necessary for a long voyage, MynheerVanderdendur, captain of a large vessel, came and offered his services. 

"How much will you charge, " said he to this man, "to carry me straightto Venice--me, my servants, my baggage, and these two sheep?"

The skipper asked ten thousand piastres. Candide did not hesitate. 

"Oh! oh!" said the prudent Vanderdendur to himself, "this stranger givesten thousand piastres unhesitatingly! He must be very rich. "

Returning a little while after, he let him know that upon secondconsideration, he could not undertake the voyage for less than twentythousand piastres. 

"Well, you shall have them, " said Candide. 

"Ay!" said the skipper to himself, "this man agrees to pay twentythousand piastres with as much ease as ten. "

He went back to him again, and declared that he could not carry him toVenice for less than thirty thousand piastres. 

"Then you shall have thirty thousand, " replied Candide. 

"Oh! oh!" said the Dutch skipper once more to himself, "thirty thousandpiastres are a trifle to this man; surely these sheep must be laden withan immense treasure; let us say no more about it. First of all, let himpay down the thirty thousand piastres; then we shall see. "

Candide sold two small diamonds, the least of which was worth more thanwhat the skipper asked for his freight. He paid him in advance. The twosheep were put on board. Candide followed in a little boat to join thevessel in the roads. The skipper seized his opportunity, set sail, andput out to sea, the wind favouring him. Candide, dismayed and stupefied, soon lost sight of the vessel. 

"Alas!" said he, "this is a trick worthy of the old world!"

He put back, overwhelmed with sorrow, for indeed he had lost sufficientto make the fortune of twenty monarchs. He waited upon the Dutchmagistrate, and in his distress he knocked over loudly at the door. Heentered and told his adventure, raising his voice with unnecessaryvehemence. The magistrate began by fining him ten thousand piastres formaking a noise; then he listened patiently, promised to examine into hisaffair at the skipper's return, and ordered him to pay ten thousandpiastres for the expense of the hearing. 

This drove Candide to despair; he had, indeed, endured misfortunes athousand times worse; the coolness of the magistrate and of the skipperwho had robbed him, roused his choler and flung him into a deepmelancholy. The villainy of mankind presented itself before hisimagination in all its deformity, and his mind was filled with gloomyideas. At length hearing that a French vessel was ready to set sail forBordeaux, as he had no sheep laden with diamonds to take along with himhe hired a cabin at the usual price. He made it known in the town thathe would pay the passage and board and give two thousand piastres to anyhonest man who would make the voyage with him, upon condition that thisman was the most dissatisfied with his state, and the most unfortunatein the whole province. 

Such a crowd of candidates presented themselves that a fleet of shipscould hardly have held them. Candide being desirous of selecting fromamong the best, marked out about one-twentieth of them who seemed to besociable men, and who all pretended to merit his preference. Heassembled them at his inn, and gave them a supper on condition that eachtook an oath to relate his history faithfully, promising to choose himwho appeared to be most justly discontented with his state, and tobestow some presents upon the rest. 

They sat until four o'clock in the morning. Candide, in listening to alltheir adventures, was reminded of what the old woman had said to him intheir voyage to Buenos Ayres, and of her wager that there was not aperson on board the ship but had met with very great misfortunes. Hedreamed of Pangloss at every adventure told to him. 

"This Pangloss, " said he, "would be puzzled to demonstrate his system. Iwish that he were here. Certainly, if all things are good, it is in ElDorado and not in the rest of the world. "

At length he made choice of a poor man of letters, who had worked tenyears for the booksellers of Amsterdam. He judged that there was not inthe whole world a trade which could disgust one more. 

This philosopher was an honest man; but he had been robbed by his wife, beaten by his son, and abandoned by his daughter who got a Portuguese torun away with her. He had just been deprived of a small employment, onwhich he subsisted; and he was persecuted by the preachers of Surinam, who took him for a Socinian. We must allow that the others were at leastas wretched as he; but Candide hoped that the philosopher wouldentertain him during the voyage. All the other candidates complainedthat Candide had done them great injustice; but he appeased them bygiving one hundred piastres to each. 

XX

WHAT HAPPENED AT SEA TO CANDIDE AND MARTIN. 

The old philosopher, whose name was Martin, embarked then with Candidefor Bordeaux. They had both seen and suffered a great deal; and if thevessel had sailed from Surinam to Japan, by the Cape of Good Hope, thesubject of moral and natural evil would have enabled them to entertainone another during the whole voyage. 

Candide, however, had one great advantage over Martin, in that he alwayshoped to see Miss Cunegonde; whereas Martin had nothing at all to hope. Besides, Candide was possessed of money and jewels, and though he hadlost one hundred large red sheep, laden with the greatest treasure uponearth; though the knavery of the Dutch skipper still sat heavy upon hismind; yet when he reflected upon what he had still left, and when hementioned the name of Cunegonde, especially towards the latter end of arepast, he inclined to Pangloss's doctrine. 

"But you, Mr. Martin, " said he to the philosopher, "what do you thinkof all this? what are your ideas on moral and natural evil?"

"Sir, " answered Martin, "our priests accused me of being a Socinian, butthe real fact is I am a Manichean. "[21]

"You jest, " said Candide; "there are no longer Manicheans in the world. "

"I am one, " said Martin. "I cannot help it; I know not how to thinkotherwise. "

"Surely you must be possessed by the devil, " said Candide. 

"He is so deeply concerned in the affairs of this world, " answeredMartin, "that he may very well be in me, as well as in everybody else;but I own to you that when I cast an eye on this globe, or rather onthis little ball, I cannot help thinking that God has abandoned it tosome malignant being. I except, always, El Dorado. I scarcely ever knewa city that did not desire the destruction of a neighbouring city, nor afamily that did not wish to exterminate some other family. Everywherethe weak execrate the powerful, before whom they cringe; and thepowerful beat them like sheep whose wool and flesh they sell. A millionregimented assassins, from one extremity of Europe to the other, gettheir bread by disciplined depredation and murder, for want of morehonest employment. Even in those cities which seem to enjoy peace, andwhere the arts flourish, the inhabitants are devoured by more envy, care, and uneasiness than are experienced by a besieged town. Secretgriefs are more cruel than public calamities. In a word I have seen somuch, and experienced so much that I am a Manichean. "

"There are, however, some things good, " said Candide. 

"That may be, " said Martin; "but I know them not. "

In the middle of this dispute they heard the report of cannon; itredoubled every instant. Each took out his glass. They saw two ships inclose fight about three miles off. The wind brought both so near to theFrench vessel that our travellers had the pleasure of seeing the fightat their ease. At length one let off a broadside, so low and so trulyaimed, that the other sank to the bottom. Candide and Martin couldplainly perceive a hundred men on the deck of the sinking vessel; theyraised their hands to heaven and uttered terrible outcries, and the nextmoment were swallowed up by the sea. 

"Well, " said Martin, "this is how men treat one another. "

"It is true, " said Candide; "there is something diabolical in thisaffair. "

While speaking, he saw he knew not what, of a shining red, swimmingclose to the vessel. They put out the long-boat to see what it couldbe: it was one of his sheep! Candide was more rejoiced at the recoveryof this one sheep than he had been grieved at the loss of the hundredladen with the large diamonds of El Dorado. 

The French captain soon saw that the captain of the victorious vesselwas a Spaniard, and that the other was a Dutch pirate, and the very sameone who had robbed Candide. The immense plunder which this villain hadamassed, was buried with him in the sea, and out of the whole only onesheep was saved. 

"You see, " said Candide to Martin, "that crime is sometimes punished. This rogue of a Dutch skipper has met with the fate he deserved. "

"Yes, " said Martin; "but why should the passengers be doomed also todestruction? God has punished the knave, and the devil has drowned therest. "

The French and Spanish ships continued their course, and Candidecontinued his conversation with Martin. They disputed fifteen successivedays, and on the last of those fifteen days, they were as far advancedas on the first. But, however, they chatted, they communicated ideas, they consoled each other. Candide caressed his sheep. 

"Since I have found thee again, " said he, "I may likewise chance to findmy Cunegonde. "

XXI

CANDIDE AND MARTIN, REASONING, DRAW NEAR THE COAST OF FRANCE. 

At length they descried the coast of France. 

"Were you ever in France, Mr. Martin?" said Candide. 

"Yes, " said Martin, "I have been in several provinces. In some one-halfof the people are fools, in others they are too cunning; in some theyare weak and simple, in others they affect to be witty; in all, theprincipal occupation is love, the next is slander, and the third istalking nonsense. "

"But, Mr. Martin, have you seen Paris?"

"Yes, I have. All these kinds are found there. It is a chaos--a confusedmultitude, where everybody seeks pleasure and scarcely any one finds it, at least as it appeared to me. I made a short stay there. On my arrivalI was robbed of all I had by pickpockets at the fair of St. Germain. Imyself was taken for a robber and was imprisoned for eight days, afterwhich I served as corrector of the press to gain the money necessary formy return to Holland on foot. I knew the whole scribbling rabble, theparty rabble, the fanatic rabble. It is said that there are very politepeople in that city, and I wish to believe it. "

"For my part, I have no curiosity to see France, " said Candide. "You mayeasily imagine that after spending a month at El Dorado I can desire tobehold nothing upon earth but Miss Cunegonde. I go to await her atVenice. We shall pass through France on our way to Italy. Will you bearme company?"

"With all my heart, " said Martin. "It is said that Venice is fit onlyfor its own nobility, but that strangers meet with a very good receptionif they have a good deal of money. I have none of it; you have, therefore I will follow you all over the world. "

"But do you believe, " said Candide, "that the earth was originally asea, as we find it asserted in that large book belonging to thecaptain?"

"I do not believe a word of it, " said Martin, "any more than I do of themany ravings which have been published lately. "

"But for what end, then, has this world been formed?" said Candide. 

"To plague us to death, " answered Martin. 

"Are you not greatly surprised, " continued Candide, "at the love whichthese two girls of the Oreillons had for those monkeys, of which I havealready told you?"

"Not at all, " said Martin. "I do not see that that passion was strange. I have seen so many extraordinary things that I have ceased to besurprised. "

"Do you believe, " said Candide, "that men have always massacred eachother as they do to-day, that they have always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates, brigands, idiots, thieves, scoundrels, gluttons, drunkards, misers, envious, ambitious, bloody-minded, calumniators, debauchees, fanatics, hypocrites, and fools?"

"Do you believe, " said Martin, "that hawks have always eaten pigeonswhen they have found them?"

"Yes, without doubt, " said Candide. 

"Well, then, " said Martin, "if hawks have always had the same characterwhy should you imagine that men may have changed theirs?"

"Oh!" said Candide, "there is a vast deal of difference, for freewill----"

And reasoning thus they arrived at Bordeaux. 

XXII

WHAT HAPPENED IN FRANCE TO CANDIDE AND MARTIN. 

Candide stayed in Bordeaux no longer than was necessary for the sellingof a few of the pebbles of El Dorado, and for hiring a good chaise tohold two passengers; for he could not travel without his PhilosopherMartin. He was only vexed at parting with his sheep, which he left tothe Bordeaux Academy of Sciences, who set as a subject for that year'sprize, "to find why this sheep's wool was red;" and the prize wasawarded to a learned man of the North, who demonstrated by A plus Bminus C divided by Z, that the sheep must be red, and die of the rot. 

Meanwhile, all the travellers whom Candide met in the inns along hisroute, said to him, "We go to Paris. " This general eagerness at lengthgave him, too, a desire to see this capital; and it was not so verygreat a _détour_ from the road to Venice. 

He entered Paris by the suburb of St. Marceau, and fancied that he wasin the dirtiest village of Westphalia. 

Scarcely was Candide arrived at his inn, than he found himself attackedby a slight illness, caused by fatigue. As he had a very large diamondon his finger, and the people of the inn had taken notice of aprodigiously heavy box among his baggage, there were two physicians toattend him, though he had never sent for them, and two devotees whowarmed his broths. 

"I remember, " Martin said, "also to have been sick at Paris in my firstvoyage; I was very poor, thus I had neither friends, devotees, nordoctors, and I recovered. "

However, what with physic and bleeding, Candide's illness becameserious. A parson of the neighborhood came with great meekness to askfor a bill for the other world payable to the bearer. Candide would donothing for him; but the devotees assured him it was the new fashion. Heanswered that he was not a man of fashion. Martin wished to throw thepriest out of the window. The priest swore that they would not buryCandide. Martin swore that he would bury the priest if he continued tobe troublesome. The quarrel grew heated. Martin took him by theshoulders and roughly turned him out of doors; which occasioned greatscandal and a law-suit. 

Candide got well again, and during his convalescence he had very goodcompany to sup with him. They played high. Candide wondered why it wasthat the ace never came to him; but Martin was not at all astonished. 

Among those who did him the honours of the town was a little Abbé ofPerigord, one of those busybodies who are ever alert, officious, forward, fawning, and complaisant; who watch for strangers in theirpassage through the capital, tell them the scandalous history of thetown, and offer them pleasure at all prices. He first took Candide andMartin to La Comédie, where they played a new tragedy. Candide happenedto be seated near some of the fashionable wits. This did not prevent hisshedding tears at the well-acted scenes. One of these critics at hisside said to him between the acts:

"Your tears are misplaced; that is a shocking actress; the actor whoplays with her is yet worse; and the play is still worse than theactors. The author does not know a word of Arabic, yet the scene is inArabia; moreover he is a man that does not believe in innate ideas; andI will bring you, to-morrow, twenty pamphlets written against him. "[22]

"How many dramas have you in France, sir?" said Candide to the Abbé. 

"Five or six thousand. "

"What a number!" said Candide. "How many good?"

"Fifteen or sixteen, " replied the other. 

"What a number!" said Martin. 

Candide was very pleased with an actress who played Queen Elizabeth in asomewhat insipid tragedy[23] sometimes acted. 

"That actress, " said he to Martin, "pleases me much; she has a likenessto Miss Cunegonde; I should be very glad to wait upon her. "

The Perigordian Abbé offered to introduce him. Candide, brought up inGermany, asked what was the etiquette, and how they treated queens ofEngland in France. 

"It is necessary to make distinctions, " said the Abbé. "In the provincesone takes them to the inn; in Paris, one respects them when they arebeautiful, and throws them on the highway when they are dead. "[24]

"Queens on the highway!" said Candide. 

"Yes, truly, " said Martin, "the Abbé is right. I was in Paris when MissMonime passed, as the saying is, from this life to the other. She wasrefused what people call the _honours of sepulture_--that is to say, ofrotting with all the beggars of the neighbourhood in an ugly cemetery;she was interred all alone by her company at the corner of the Rue deBourgogne, which ought to trouble her much, for she thought nobly. "

"That was very uncivil, " said Candide. 

"What would you have?" said Martin; "these people are made thus. Imagineall contradictions, all possible incompatibilities--you will find themin the government, in the law-courts, in the churches, in the publicshows of this droll nation. "

"Is it true that they always laugh in Paris?" said Candide. 

"Yes, " said the Abbé, "but it means nothing, for they complain ofeverything with great fits of laughter; they even do the most detestablethings while laughing. "

"Who, " said Candide, "is that great pig who spoke so ill of the piece atwhich I wept, and of the actors who gave me so much pleasure?"

"He is a bad character, " answered the Abbé, "who gains his livelihood bysaying evil of all plays and of all books. He hates whatever succeeds, as the eunuchs hate those who enjoy; he is one of the serpents ofliterature who nourish themselves on dirt and spite; he is a_folliculaire_. "

"What is a _folliculaire_?" said Candide. 

"It is, " said the Abbé, "a pamphleteer--a Fréron. "[25]

Thus Candide, Martin, and the Perigordian conversed on the staircase, while watching every one go out after the performance. 

"Although I am eager to see Cunegonde again, " said Candide, "I shouldlike to sup with Miss Clairon, for she appears to me admirable. "

The Abbé was not the man to approach Miss Clairon, who saw only goodcompany. 

"She is engaged for this evening, " he said, "but I shall have the honourto take you to the house of a lady of quality, and there you will knowParis as if you had lived in it for years. "

Candide, who was naturally curious, let himself be taken to this lady'shouse, at the end of the Faubourg St. Honoré. The company was occupiedin playing faro; a dozen melancholy punters held each in his hand alittle pack of cards; a bad record of his misfortunes. Profound silencereigned; pallor was on the faces of the punters, anxiety on that of thebanker, and the hostess, sitting near the unpitying banker, noticed withlynx-eyes all the doubled and other increased stakes, as each playerdog's-eared his cards; she made them turn down the edges again withsevere, but polite attention; she showed no vexation for fear of losingher customers. The lady insisted upon being called the Marchioness ofParolignac. Her daughter, aged fifteen, was among the punters, andnotified with a covert glance the cheatings of the poor people whotried to repair the cruelties of fate. The Perigordian Abbé, Candide andMartin entered; no one rose, no one saluted them, no one looked at them;all were profoundly occupied with their cards. 

"The Baroness of Thunder-ten-Tronckh was more polite, " said Candide. 

However, the Abbé whispered to the Marchioness, who half rose, honouredCandide with a gracious smile, and Martin with a condescending nod; shegave a seat and a pack of cards to Candide, who lost fifty thousandfrancs in two deals, after which they supped very gaily, and every onewas astonished that Candide was not moved by his loss; the servants saidamong themselves, in the language of servants:--

"Some English lord is here this evening. "

The supper passed at first like most Parisian suppers, in silence, followed by a noise of words which could not be distinguished, then withpleasantries of which most were insipid, with false news, with badreasoning, a little politics, and much evil speaking; they alsodiscussed new books. 

"Have you seen, " said the Perigordian Abbé, "the romance of SieurGauchat, doctor of divinity?"[26]

"Yes, " answered one of the guests, "but I have not been able to finishit. We have a crowd of silly writings, but all together do not approachthe impertinence of 'Gauchat, Doctor of Divinity. ' I am so satiated withthe great number of detestable books with which we are inundated that Iam reduced to punting at faro. "

"And the _Mélanges_ of Archdeacon Trublet, [27] what do you say of that?"said the Abbé. 

"Ah!" said the Marchioness of Parolignac, "the wearisome mortal! Howcuriously he repeats to you all that the world knows! How heavily hediscusses that which is not worth the trouble of lightly remarking upon!How, without wit, he appropriates the wit of others! How he spoils whathe steals! How he disgusts me! But he will disgust me no longer--it isenough to have read a few of the Archdeacon's pages. "

There was at table a wise man of taste, who supported the Marchioness. They spoke afterwards of tragedies; the lady asked why there weretragedies which were sometimes played and which could not be read. Theman of taste explained very well how a piece could have some interest, and have almost no merit; he proved in few words that it was not enoughto introduce one or two of those situations which one finds in allromances, and which always seduce the spectator, but that it wasnecessary to be new without being odd, often sublime and alwaysnatural, to know the human heart and to make it speak; to be a greatpoet without allowing any person in the piece to appear to be a poet; toknow language perfectly--to speak it with purity, with continuousharmony and without rhythm ever taking anything from sense. 

"Whoever, " added he, "does not observe all these rules can produce oneor two tragedies, applauded at a theatre, but he will never be countedin the ranks of good writers. There are very few good tragedies; someare idylls in dialogue, well written and well rhymed, others politicalreasonings which lull to sleep, or amplifications which repel; othersdemoniac dreams in barbarous style, interrupted in sequence, with longapostrophes to the gods, because they do not know how to speak to men, with false maxims, with bombastic commonplaces!"

Candide listened with attention to this discourse, and conceived a greatidea of the speaker, and as the Marchioness had taken care to place himbeside her, he leaned towards her and took the liberty of asking who wasthe man who had spoken so well. 

"He is a scholar, " said the lady, "who does not play, whom the Abbésometimes brings to supper; he is perfectly at home among tragedies andbooks, and he has written a tragedy which was hissed, and a book ofwhich nothing has ever been seen outside his bookseller's shopexcepting the copy which he dedicated to me. "

"The great man!" said Candide. "He is another Pangloss!"

Then, turning towards him, he said:

"Sir, you think doubtless that all is for the best in the moral andphysical world, and that nothing could be otherwise than it is?"

"I, sir!" answered the scholar, "I know nothing of all that; I find thatall goes awry with me; that no one knows either what is his rank, norwhat is his condition, what he does nor what he ought to do; and thatexcept supper, which is always gay, and where there appears to be enoughconcord, all the rest of the time is passed in impertinent quarrels;Jansenist against Molinist, Parliament against the Church, men ofletters against men of letters, courtesans against courtesans, financiers against the people, wives against husbands, relatives againstrelatives--it is eternal war. "

"I have seen the worst, " Candide replied. "But a wise man, who since hashad the misfortune to be hanged, taught me that all is marvellouslywell; these are but the shadows on a beautiful picture. "

"Your hanged man mocked the world, " said Martin. "The shadows arehorrible blots. "

"They are men who make the blots, " said Candide, "and they cannot bedispensed with. "

"It is not their fault then, " said Martin. 

Most of the punters, who understood nothing of this language, drank, andMartin reasoned with the scholar, and Candide related some of hisadventures to his hostess. 

After supper the Marchioness took Candide into her boudoir, and made himsit upon a sofa. 

"Ah, well!" said she to him, "you love desperately Miss Cunegonde ofThunder-ten-Tronckh?"

"Yes, madame, " answered Candide. 

The Marchioness replied to him with a tender smile:

"You answer me like a young man from Westphalia. A Frenchman would havesaid, 'It is true that I have loved Miss Cunegonde, but seeing you, madame, I think I no longer love her. '"

"Alas! madame, " said Candide, "I will answer you as you wish. "

"Your passion for her, " said the Marchioness, "commenced by picking upher handkerchief. I wish that you would pick up my garter. "

"With all my heart, " said Candide. And he picked it up. 

"But I wish that you would put it on, " said the lady. 

And Candide put it on. 

"You see, " said she, "you are a foreigner. I sometimes make my Parisianlovers languish for fifteen days, but I give myself to you the firstnight because one must do the honours of one's country to a young manfrom Westphalia. "

The lady having perceived two enormous diamonds upon the hands of theyoung foreigner praised them with such good faith that from Candide'sfingers they passed to her own. 

Candide, returning with the Perigordian Abbé, felt some remorse inhaving been unfaithful to Miss Cunegonde. The Abbé sympathised in histrouble; he had had but a light part of the fifty thousand francs lostat play and of the value of the two brilliants, half given, halfextorted. His design was to profit as much as he could by the advantageswhich the acquaintance of Candide could procure for him. He spoke muchof Cunegonde, and Candide told him that he should ask forgiveness ofthat beautiful one for his infidelity when he should see her in Venice. 

The Abbé redoubled his politeness and attentions, and took a tenderinterest in all that Candide said, in all that he did, in all that hewished to do. 

"And so, sir, you have a rendezvous at Venice?"

"Yes, monsieur Abbé, " answered Candide. "It is absolutely necessarythat I go to meet Miss Cunegonde. "

And then the pleasure of talking of that which he loved induced him torelate, according to his custom, part of his adventures with the fairWestphalian. 

"I believe, " said the Abbé, "that Miss Cunegonde has a great deal ofwit, and that she writes charming letters?"

"I have never received any from her, " said Candide, "for being expelledfrom the castle on her account I had not an opportunity for writing toher. Soon after that I heard she was dead; then I found her alive; thenI lost her again; and last of all, I sent an express to her two thousandfive hundred leagues from here, and I wait for an answer. "

The Abbé listened attentively, and seemed to be in a brown study. Hesoon took his leave of the two foreigners after a most tender embrace. The following day Candide received, on awaking, a letter couched inthese terms:

"My very dear love, for eight days I have been ill in this town. I learnthat you are here. I would fly to your arms if I could but move. I wasinformed of your passage at Bordeaux, where I left faithful Cacambo andthe old woman, who are to follow me very soon. The Governor of BuenosAyres has taken all, but there remains to me your heart. Come! yourpresence will either give me life or kill me with pleasure. "

This charming, this unhoped-for letter transported Candide with aninexpressible joy, and the illness of his dear Cunegonde overwhelmed himwith grief. Divided between those two passions, he took his gold and hisdiamonds and hurried away, with Martin, to the hotel where MissCunegonde was lodged. He entered her room trembling, his heartpalpitating, his voice sobbing; he wished to open the curtains of thebed, and asked for a light. 

"Take care what you do, " said the servant-maid; "the light hurts her, "and immediately she drew the curtain again. 

"My dear Cunegonde, " said Candide, weeping, "how are you? If you cannotsee me, at least speak to me. "

"She cannot speak, " said the maid. 

The lady then put a plump hand out from the bed, and Candide bathed itwith his tears and afterwards filled it with diamonds, leaving a bag ofgold upon the easy chair. 

In the midst of these transports in came an officer, followed by theAbbé and a file of soldiers. 

"There, " said he, "are the two suspected foreigners, " and at the sametime he ordered them to be seized and carried to prison. 

"Travellers are not treated thus in El Dorado, " said Candide. 

"I am more a Manichean now than ever, " said Martin. 

"But pray, sir, where are you going to carry us?" said Candide. 

"To a dungeon, " answered the officer. 

Martin, having recovered himself a little, judged that the lady whoacted the part of Cunegonde was a cheat, that the Perigordian Abbé was aknave who had imposed upon the honest simplicity of Candide, and thatthe officer was another knave whom they might easily silence. 

Candide, advised by Martin and impatient to see the real Cunegonde, rather than expose himself before a court of justice, proposed to theofficer to give him three small diamonds, each worth about threethousand pistoles. 

"Ah, sir, " said the man with the ivory baton, "had you committed all theimaginable crimes you would be to me the most honest man in the world. Three diamonds! Each worth three thousand pistoles! Sir, instead ofcarrying you to jail I would lose my life to serve you. There are ordersfor arresting all foreigners, but leave it to me. I have a brother atDieppe in Normandy! I'll conduct you thither, and if you have a diamondto give him he'll take as much care of you as I would. "

"And why, " said Candide, "should all foreigners be arrested?"

"It is, " the Perigordian Abbé then made answer, "because a poor beggarof the country of Atrébatie[28] heard some foolish things said. Thisinduced him to commit a parricide, not such as that of 1610 in the monthof May, [29] but such as that of 1594 in the month of December, [30] andsuch as others which have been committed in other years and other monthsby other poor devils who had heard nonsense spoken. "

The officer then explained what the Abbé meant. 

"Ah, the monsters!" cried Candide. "What horrors among a people whodance and sing! Is there no way of getting quickly out of this countrywhere monkeys provoke tigers? I have seen no bears in my country, but_men_ I have beheld nowhere except in El Dorado. In the name of God, sir, conduct me to Venice, where I am to await Miss Cunegonde. "

"I can conduct you no further than lower Normandy, " said the officer. 

Immediately he ordered his irons to be struck off, acknowledged himselfmistaken, sent away his men, set out with Candide and Martin for Dieppe, and left them in the care of his brother. 

There was then a small Dutch ship in the harbour. The Norman, who by thevirtue of three more diamonds had become the most subservient of men, put Candide and his attendants on board a vessel that was just ready toset sail for Portsmouth in England. 

This was not the way to Venice, but Candide thought he had made his wayout of hell, and reckoned that he would soon have an opportunity forresuming his journey. 

XXIII

CANDIDE AND MARTIN TOUCHED UPON THE COAST OF ENGLAND, AND WHAT THEY SAWTHERE. 

"Ah, Pangloss! Pangloss! Ah, Martin! Martin! Ah, my dear Cunegonde, whatsort of a world is this?" said Candide on board the Dutch ship. 

"Something very foolish and abominable, " said Martin. 

"You know England? Are they as foolish there as in France?"

"It is another kind of folly, " said Martin. "You know that these twonations are at war for a few acres of snow in Canada, [31] and that theyspend over this beautiful war much more than Canada is worth. To tellyou exactly, whether there are more people fit to send to a madhouse inone country than the other, is what my imperfect intelligence will notpermit. I only know in general that the people we are going to see arevery atrabilious. "

Talking thus they arrived at Portsmouth. The coast was lined with crowdsof people, whose eyes were fixed on a fine man kneeling, with his eyesbandaged, on board one of the men of war in the harbour. Four soldiersstood opposite to this man; each of them fired three balls at his head, with all the calmness in the world; and the whole assembly went awayvery well satisfied. 

"What is all this?" said Candide; "and what demon is it that exerciseshis empire in this country?"

He then asked who was that fine man who had been killed with so muchceremony. They answered, he was an Admiral. [32]

"And why kill this Admiral?"

"It is because he did not kill a sufficient number of men himself. Hegave battle to a French Admiral; and it has been proved that he was notnear enough to him. "

"But, " replied Candide, "the French Admiral was as far from the EnglishAdmiral. "

"There is no doubt of it; but in this country it is found good, fromtime to time, to kill one Admiral to encourage the others. "

Candide was so shocked and bewildered by what he saw and heard, that hewould not set foot on shore, and he made a bargain with the Dutchskipper (were he even to rob him like the Surinam captain) to conducthim without delay to Venice. 

The skipper was ready in two days. They coasted France; they passed insight of Lisbon, and Candide trembled. They passed through the Straits, and entered the Mediterranean. At last they landed at Venice. 

"God be praised!" said Candide, embracing Martin. "It is here that Ishall see again my beautiful Cunegonde. I trust Cacambo as myself. Allis well, all will be well, all goes as well as possible. "

XXIV

OF PAQUETTE AND FRIAR GIROFLÉE. 

Upon their arrival at Venice, Candide went to search for Cacambo atevery inn and coffee-house, and among all the ladies of pleasure, but tono purpose. He sent every day to inquire on all the ships that came in. But there was no news of Cacambo. 

"What!" said he to Martin, "I have had time to voyage from Surinam toBordeaux, to go from Bordeaux to Paris, from Paris to Dieppe, fromDieppe to Portsmouth, to coast along Portugal and Spain, to cross thewhole Mediterranean, to spend some months, and yet the beautifulCunegonde has not arrived! Instead of her I have only met a Parisianwench and a Perigordian Abbé. Cunegonde is dead without doubt, and thereis nothing for me but to die. Alas! how much better it would have beenfor me to have remained in the paradise of El Dorado than to come backto this cursed Europe! You are in the right, my dear Martin: all ismisery and illusion. "

He fell into a deep melancholy, and neither went to see the opera, norany of the other diversions of the Carnival; nay, he was proof againstthe temptations of all the ladies. 

"You are in truth very simple, " said Martin to him, "if you imagine thata mongrel valet, who has five or six millions in his pocket, will go tothe other end of the world to seek your mistress and bring her to you toVenice. If he find her, he will keep her to himself; if he do not findher he will get another. I advise you to forget your valet Cacambo andyour mistress Cunegonde. "

Martin was not consoling. Candide's melancholy increased; and Martincontinued to prove to him that there was very little virtue or happinessupon earth, except perhaps in El Dorado, where nobody could gainadmittance. 

While they were disputing on this important subject and waiting forCunegonde, Candide saw a young Theatin friar in St. Mark's Piazza, holding a girl on his arm. The Theatin looked fresh coloured, plump, andvigorous; his eyes were sparkling, his air assured, his look lofty, andhis step bold. The girl was very pretty, and sang; she looked amorouslyat her Theatin, and from time to time pinched his fat cheeks. 

"At least you will allow me, " said Candide to Martin, "that these twoare happy. Hitherto I have met with none but unfortunate people in thewhole habitable globe, except in El Dorado; but as to this pair, I wouldventure to lay a wager that they are very happy. "

"I lay you they are not, " said Martin. 

"We need only ask them to dine with us, " said Candide, "and you will seewhether I am mistaken. "

Immediately he accosted them, presented his compliments, and invitedthem to his inn to eat some macaroni, with Lombard partridges, andcaviare, and to drink some Montepulciano, Lachrymæ Christi, Cyprus andSamos wine. The girl blushed, the Theatin accepted the invitation andshe followed him, casting her eyes on Candide with confusion andsurprise, and dropping a few tears. No sooner had she set foot inCandide's apartment than she cried out:

"Ah! Mr. Candide does not know Paquette again. "

Candide had not viewed her as yet with attention, his thoughts beingentirely taken up with Cunegonde; but recollecting her as she spoke. 

"Alas!" said he, "my poor child, it is you who reduced Doctor Panglossto the beautiful condition in which I saw him?"

"Alas! it was I, sir, indeed, " answered Paquette. "I see that you haveheard all. I have been informed of the frightful disasters that befellthe family of my lady Baroness, and the fair Cunegonde. I swear to youthat my fate has been scarcely less sad. I was very innocent when youknew me. A Grey Friar, who was my confessor, easily seduced me. Theconsequences were terrible. I was obliged to quit the castle some timeafter the Baron had sent you away with kicks on the backside. If afamous surgeon had not taken compassion on me, I should have died. Forsome time I was this surgeon's mistress, merely out of gratitude. Hiswife, who was mad with jealousy, beat me every day unmercifully; she wasa fury. The surgeon was one of the ugliest of men, and I the mostwretched of women, to be continually beaten for a man I did not love. You know, sir, what a dangerous thing it is for an ill-natured woman tobe married to a doctor. Incensed at the behaviour of his wife, he oneday gave her so effectual a remedy to cure her of a slight cold, thatshe died two hours after, in most horrid convulsions. The wife'srelations prosecuted the husband; he took flight, and I was thrown intojail. My innocence would not have saved me if I had not beengood-looking. The judge set me free, on condition that he succeeded thesurgeon. I was soon supplanted by a rival, turned out of doors quitedestitute, and obliged to continue this abominable trade, which appearsso pleasant to you men, while to us women it is the utmost abyss ofmisery. I have come to exercise the profession at Venice. Ah! sir, ifyou could only imagine what it is to be obliged to caress indifferentlyan old merchant, a lawyer, a monk, a gondolier, an abbé, to be exposedto abuse and insults; to be often reduced to borrowing a petticoat, onlyto go and have it raised by a disagreeable man; to be robbed by one ofwhat one has earned from another; to be subject to the extortions of theofficers of justice; and to have in prospect only a frightful old age, ahospital, and a dung-hill; you would conclude that I am one of the mostunhappy creatures in the world. "[33]

Paquette thus opened her heart to honest Candide, in the presence ofMartin, who said to his friend:

"You see that already I have won half the wager. "

Friar Giroflée stayed in the dining-room, and drank a glass or two ofwine while he was waiting for dinner. 

"But, " said Candide to Paquette, "you looked so gay and content when Imet you; you sang and you behaved so lovingly to the Theatin, that youseemed to me as happy as you pretend to be now the reverse. "

"Ah! sir, " answered Paquette, "this is one of the miseries of the trade. Yesterday I was robbed and beaten by an officer; yet to-day I must puton good humour to please a friar. "

Candide wanted no more convincing; he owned that Martin was in theright. They sat down to table with Paquette and the Theatin; the repastwas entertaining; and towards the end they conversed with allconfidence. 

"Father, " said Candide to the Friar, "you appear to me to enjoy a statethat all the world might envy; the flower of health shines in your face, your expression makes plain your happiness; you have a very pretty girlfor your recreation, and you seem well satisfied with your state as aTheatin. "

"My faith, sir, " said Friar Giroflée, "I wish that all the Theatins wereat the bottom of the sea. I have been tempted a hundred times to setfire to the convent, and go and become a Turk. My parents forced me atthe age of fifteen to put on this detestable habit, to increase thefortune of a cursed elder brother, whom God confound. Jealousy, discord, and fury, dwell in the convent. It is true I have preached a few badsermons that have brought me in a little money, of which the prior stolehalf, while the rest serves to maintain my girls; but when I return atnight to the monastery, I am ready to dash my head against the walls ofthe dormitory; and all my fellows are in the same case. "

Martin turned towards Candide with his usual coolness. 

"Well, " said he, "have I not won the whole wager?"

Candide gave two thousand piastres to Paquette, and one thousand toFriar Giroflée. 

"I'll answer for it, " said he, "that with this they will be happy. "

"I do not believe it at all, " said Martin; "you will, perhaps, withthese piastres only render them the more unhappy. "

"Let that be as it may, " said Candide, "but one thing consoles me. I seethat we often meet with those whom we expected never to see more; sothat, perhaps, as I have found my red sheep and Paquette, it may well bethat I shall also find Cunegonde. "

"I wish, " said Martin, "she may one day make you very happy; but I doubtit very much. "

"You are very hard of belief, " said Candide. 

"I have lived, " said Martin. 

"You see those gondoliers, " said Candide, "are they not perpetuallysinging?"

"You do not see them, " said Martin, "at home with their wives and brats. The Doge has his troubles, the gondoliers have theirs. It is true that, all things considered, the life of a gondolier is preferable to that ofa Doge; but I believe the difference to be so trifling that it is notworth the trouble of examining. "

"People talk, " said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante, who lives inthat fine palace on the Brenta, where he entertains foreigners in thepolitest manner. They pretend that this man has never felt anyuneasiness. "

"I should be glad to see such a rarity, " said Martin. 

Candide immediately sent to ask the Lord Pococurante permission to waitupon him the next day. 

XXV

THE VISIT TO LORD POCOCURANTE, A NOBLE VENETIAN. 

Candide and Martin went in a gondola on the Brenta, and arrived at thepalace of the noble Signor Pococurante. The gardens, laid out withtaste, were adorned with fine marble statues. The palace was beautifullybuilt. The master of the house was a man of sixty, and very rich. Hereceived the two travellers with polite indifference, which put Candidea little out of countenance, but was not at all disagreeable to Martin. 

First, two pretty girls, very neatly dressed, served them withchocolate, which was frothed exceedingly well. Candide could not refrainfrom commending their beauty, grace, and address. 

"They are good enough creatures, " said the Senator. "I make them liewith me sometimes, for I am very tired of the ladies of the town, oftheir coquetries, of their jealousies, of their quarrels, of theirhumours, of their pettinesses, of their prides, of their follies, and ofthe sonnets which one must make, or have made, for them. But after all, these two girls begin to weary me. "

After breakfast, Candide walking into a long gallery was surprised bythe beautiful pictures. He asked, by what master were the two first. 

"They are by Raphael, " said the Senator. "I bought them at a greatprice, out of vanity, some years ago. They are said to be the finestthings in Italy, but they do not please me at all. The colours are toodark, the figures are not sufficiently rounded, nor in good relief; thedraperies in no way resemble stuffs. In a word, whatever may be said, Ido not find there a true imitation of nature. I only care for a picturewhen I think I see nature itself; and there are none of this sort. Ihave a great many pictures, but I prize them very little. "

While they were waiting for dinner Pococurante ordered a concert. Candide found the music delicious. 

"This noise, " said the Senator, "may amuse one for half an hour; but ifit were to last longer it would grow tiresome to everybody, though theydurst not own it. Music, to-day, is only the art of executing difficultthings, and that which is only difficult cannot please long. Perhaps Ishould be fonder of the opera if they had not found the secret of makingof it a monster which shocks me. Let who will go to see bad tragediesset to music, where the scenes are contrived for no other end than tointroduce two or three songs ridiculously out of place, to show off anactress's voice. Let who will, or who can, die away with pleasure at thesight of an eunuch quavering the _rôle_ of Cæsar, or of Cato, andstrutting awkwardly upon the stage. For my part I have long sincerenounced those paltry entertainments which constitute the glory ofmodern Italy, and are purchased so dearly by sovereigns. "

Candide disputed the point a little, but with discretion. Martin wasentirely of the Senator's opinion. 

They sat down to table, and after an excellent dinner they went into thelibrary. Candide, seeing a Homer magnificently bound, commended thevirtuoso on his good taste. 

"There, " said he, "is a book that was once the delight of the greatPangloss, the best philosopher in Germany. "

"It is not mine, " answered Pococurante coolly. "They used at one time tomake me believe that I took a pleasure in reading him. But thatcontinual repetition of battles, so extremely like one another; thosegods that are always active without doing anything decisive; that Helenwho is the cause of the war, and who yet scarcely appears in the piece;that Troy, so long besieged without being taken; all these togethercaused me great weariness. I have sometimes asked learned men whetherthey were not as weary as I of that work. Those who were sincere haveowned to me that the poem made them fall asleep; yet it was necessary tohave it in their library as a monument of antiquity, or like those rustymedals which are no longer of use in commerce. "

"But your Excellency does not think thus of Virgil?" said Candide. 

"I grant, " said the Senator, "that the second, fourth, and sixth booksof his _Æneid_ are excellent, but as for his pious Æneas, his strongCloanthus, his friend Achates, his little Ascanius, his silly KingLatinus, his bourgeois Amata, his insipid Lavinia, I think there can benothing more flat and disagreeable. I prefer Tasso a good deal, or eventhe soporific tales of Ariosto. "

"May I presume to ask you, sir, " said Candide, "whether you do notreceive a great deal of pleasure from reading Horace?"

"There are maxims in this writer, " answered Pococurante, "from which aman of the world may reap great benefit, and being written in energeticverse they are more easily impressed upon the memory. But I care littlefor his journey to Brundusium, and his account of a bad dinner, or ofhis low quarrel between one Rupilius whose words he says were full ofpoisonous filth, and another whose language was imbued with vinegar. Ihave read with much distaste his indelicate verses against old women andwitches; nor do I see any merit in telling his friend Mæcenas that if hewill but rank him in the choir of lyric poets, his lofty head shalltouch the stars. Fools admire everything in an author of reputation. Formy part, I read only to please myself. I like only that which serves mypurpose. "

Candide, having been educated never to judge for himself, was muchsurprised at what he heard. Martin found there was a good deal of reasonin Pococurante's remarks. 

"Oh! here is Cicero, " said Candide. "Here is the great man whom I fancyyou are never tired of reading. "

"I never read him, " replied the Venetian. "What is it to me whether hepleads for Rabirius or Cluentius? I try causes enough myself; hisphilosophical works seem to me better, but when I found that he doubtedof everything, I concluded that I knew as much as he, and that I had noneed of a guide to learn ignorance. "

"Ha! here are four-score volumes of the Academy of Sciences, " criedMartin. "Perhaps there is something valuable in this collection. "

"There might be, " said Pococurante, "if only one of those rakers ofrubbish had shown how to make pins; but in all these volumes there isnothing but chimerical systems, and not a single useful thing. "

"And what dramatic works I see here, " said Candide, "in Italian, Spanish, and French. "

"Yes, " replied the Senator, "there are three thousand, and not threedozen of them good for anything. As to those collections of sermons, which altogether are not worth a single page of Seneca, and those hugevolumes of theology, you may well imagine that neither I nor any oneelse ever opens them. "

Martin saw some shelves filled with English books. 

"I have a notion, " said he, "that a Republican must be greatly pleasedwith most of these books, which are written with a spirit of freedom. "

"Yes, " answered Pococurante, "it is noble to write as one thinks; thisis the privilege of humanity. In all our Italy we write only what we donot think; those who inhabit the country of the Cæsars and theAntoninuses dare not acquire a single idea without the permission of aDominican friar. I should be pleased with the liberty which inspires theEnglish genius if passion and party spirit did not corrupt all that isestimable in this precious liberty. "

Candide, observing a Milton, asked whether he did not look upon thisauthor as a great man. 

"Who?" said Pococurante, "that barbarian, who writes a long commentaryin ten books of harsh verse on the first chapter of Genesis; that coarseimitator of the Greeks, who disfigures the Creation, and who, whileMoses represents the Eternal producing the world by a word, makes theMessiah take a great pair of compasses from the armoury of heaven tocircumscribe His work? How can I have any esteem for a writer who hasspoiled Tasso's hell and the devil, who transforms Lucifer sometimesinto a toad and other times into a pigmy, who makes him repeat the samethings a hundred times, who makes him dispute on theology, who, by aserious imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of firearms, representsthe devils cannonading in heaven? Neither I nor any man in Italy couldtake pleasure in those melancholy extravagances; and the marriage of Sinand Death, and the snakes brought forth by Sin, are enough to turn thestomach of any one with the least taste, [and his long description of apest-house is good only for a grave-digger]. This obscure, whimsical, and disagreeable poem was despised upon its first publication, and Ionly treat it now as it was treated in its own country bycontemporaries. For the matter of that I say what I think, and I carevery little whether others think as I do. "

Candide was grieved at this speech, for he had a respect for Homer andwas fond of Milton. 

"Alas!" said he softly to Martin, "I am afraid that this man holds ourGerman poets in very great contempt. "

"There would not be much harm in that, " said Martin. 

"Oh! what a superior man, " said Candide below his breath. "What a greatgenius is this Pococurante! Nothing can please him. "

After their survey of the library they went down into the garden, whereCandide praised its several beauties. 

"I know of nothing in so bad a taste, " said the master. "All you seehere is merely trifling. After to-morrow I will have it planted with anobler design. "

"Well, " said Candide to Martin when they had taken their leave, "youwill agree that this is the happiest of mortals, for he is aboveeverything he possesses. "

"But do you not see, " answered Martin, "that he is disgusted with all hepossesses? Plato observed a long while ago that those stomachs are notthe best that reject all sorts of food. "

"But is there not a pleasure, " said Candide, "in criticisingeverything, in pointing out faults where others see nothing butbeauties?"

"That is to say, " replied Martin, "that there is some pleasure in havingno pleasure. "

"Well, well, " said Candide, "I find that I shall be the only happy manwhen I am blessed with the sight of my dear Cunegonde. "

"It is always well to hope, " said Martin. 

However, the days and the weeks passed. Cacambo did not come, andCandide was so overwhelmed with grief that he did not even reflect thatPaquette and Friar Giroflée did not return to thank him. 

XXVI

OF A SUPPER WHICH CANDIDE AND MARTIN TOOK WITH SIX STRANGERS, AND WHOTHEY WERE. [34]

One evening that Candide and Martin were going to sit down to supperwith some foreigners who lodged in the same inn, a man whose complexionwas as black as soot, came behind Candide, and taking him by the arm, said:

"Get yourself ready to go along with us; do not fail. "

Upon this he turned round and saw--Cacambo! Nothing but the sight ofCunegonde could have astonished and delighted him more. He was on thepoint of going mad with joy. He embraced his dear friend. 

"Cunegonde is here, without doubt; where is she? Take me to her that Imay die of joy in her company. "

"Cunegonde is not here, " said Cacambo, "she is at Constantinople. "

"Oh, heavens! at Constantinople! But were she in China I would flythither; let us be off. "

"We shall set out after supper, " replied Cacambo. "I can tell younothing more; I am a slave, my master awaits me, I must serve him attable; speak not a word, eat, and then get ready. "

Candide, distracted between joy and grief, delighted at seeing hisfaithful agent again, astonished at finding him a slave, filled with thefresh hope of recovering his mistress, his heart palpitating, hisunderstanding confused, sat down to table with Martin, who saw all thesescenes quite unconcerned, and with six strangers who had come to spendthe Carnival at Venice. 

Cacambo waited at table upon one of the strangers; towards the end ofthe entertainment he drew near his master, and whispered in his ear:

"Sire, your Majesty may start when you please, the vessel is ready. "

On saying these words he went out. The company in great surprise lookedat one another without speaking a word, when another domestic approachedhis master and said to him:

"Sire, your Majesty's chaise is at Padua, and the boat is ready. "

The master gave a nod and the servant went away. The company all staredat one another again, and their surprise redoubled. A third valet cameup to a third stranger, saying:

"Sire, believe me, your Majesty ought not to stay here any longer. I amgoing to get everything ready. "

And immediately he disappeared. Candide and Martin did not doubt thatthis was a masquerade of the Carnival. Then a fourth domestic said to afourth master:

"Your Majesty may depart when you please. "

Saying this he went away like the rest. The fifth valet said the samething to the fifth master. But the sixth valet spoke differently to thesixth stranger, who sat near Candide. He said to him:

"Faith, Sire, they will no longer give credit to your Majesty nor to me, and we may perhaps both of us be put in jail this very night. ThereforeI will take care of myself. Adieu. "

The servants being all gone, the six strangers, with Candide and Martin, remained in a profound silence. At length Candide broke it. 

"Gentlemen, " said he, "this is a very good joke indeed, but why shouldyou all be kings? For me I own that neither Martin nor I is a king. "

Cacambo's master then gravely answered in Italian:

"I am not at all joking. My name is Achmet III. I was Grand Sultan manyyears. I dethroned my brother; my nephew dethroned me, my viziers werebeheaded, and I am condemned to end my days in the old Seraglio. Mynephew, the great Sultan Mahmoud, permits me to travel sometimes for myhealth, and I am come to spend the Carnival at Venice. "

A young man who sat next to Achmet, spoke then as follows:

"My name is Ivan. I was once Emperor of all the Russias, but wasdethroned in my cradle. My parents were confined in prison and I waseducated there; yet I am sometimes allowed to travel in company withpersons who act as guards; and I am come to spend the Carnival atVenice. "

The third said:

"I am Charles Edward, King of England; my father has resigned all hislegal rights to me. I have fought in defence of them; and above eighthundred of my adherents have been hanged, drawn, and quartered. I havebeen confined in prison; I am going to Rome, to pay a visit to the King, my father, who was dethroned as well as myself and my grandfather, and Iam come to spend the Carnival at Venice. "

The fourth spoke thus in his turn:

"I am the King of Poland; the fortune of war has stripped me of myhereditary dominions; my father underwent the same vicissitudes; Iresign myself to Providence in the same manner as Sultan Achmet, theEmperor Ivan, and King Charles Edward, whom God long preserve; and I amcome to the Carnival at Venice. "

The fifth said:

"I am King of Poland also; I have been twice dethroned; but Providencehas given me another country, where I have done more good than all theSarmatian kings were ever capable of doing on the banks of the Vistula;I resign myself likewise to Providence, and am come to pass the Carnivalat Venice. "

It was now the sixth monarch's turn to speak:

"Gentlemen, " said he, "I am not so great a prince as any of you;however, I am a king. I am Theodore, elected King of Corsica; I had thetitle of Majesty, and now I am scarcely treated as a gentleman. I havecoined money, and now am not worth a farthing; I have had twosecretaries of state, and now I have scarce a valet; I have seen myselfon a throne, and I have seen myself upon straw in a common jail inLondon. I am afraid that I shall meet with the same treatment herethough, like your majesties, I am come to see the Carnival at Venice. "

The other five kings listened to this speech with generous compassion. Each of them gave twenty sequins to King Theodore to buy him clothes andlinen; and Candide made him a present of a diamond worth two thousandsequins. 

"Who can this private person be, " said the five kings to one another, "who is able to give, and really has given, a hundred times as much asany of us?"

Just as they rose from table, in came four Serene Highnesses, who hadalso been stripped of their territories by the fortune of war, and werecome to spend the Carnival at Venice. But Candide paid no regard tothese newcomers, his thoughts were entirely employed on his voyage toConstantinople, in search of his beloved Cunegonde. 

XXVII

CANDIDE'S VOYAGE TO CONSTANTINOPLE. 

The faithful Cacambo had already prevailed upon the Turkish skipper, whowas to conduct the Sultan Achmet to Constantinople, to receive Candideand Martin on his ship. They both embarked after having made theirobeisance to his miserable Highness. 

"You see, " said Candide to Martin on the way, "we supped with sixdethroned kings, and of those six there was one to whom I gave charity. Perhaps there are many other princes yet more unfortunate. For my part, I have only lost a hundred sheep; and now I am flying into Cunegonde'sarms. My dear Martin, yet once more Pangloss was right: all is for thebest. "

"I wish it, " answered Martin. 

"But, " said Candide, "it was a very strange adventure we met with atVenice. It has never before been seen or heard that six dethroned kingshave supped together at a public inn. "

"It is not more extraordinary, " said Martin, "than most of the thingsthat have happened to us. It is a very common thing for kings to bedethroned; and as for the honour we have had of supping in theircompany, it is a trifle not worth our attention. "

No sooner had Candide got on board the vessel than he flew to his oldvalet and friend Cacambo, and tenderly embraced him. 

"Well, " said he, "what news of Cunegonde? Is she still a prodigy ofbeauty? Does she love me still? How is she? Thou hast doubtless boughther a palace at Constantinople?"

"My dear master, " answered Cacambo, "Cunegonde washes dishes on thebanks of the Propontis, in the service of a prince, who has very fewdishes to wash; she is a slave in the family of an ancient sovereignnamed Ragotsky, [35] to whom the Grand Turk allows three crowns a day inhis exile. But what is worse still is, that she has lost her beauty andhas become horribly ugly. "

"Well, handsome or ugly, " replied Candide, "I am a man of honour, and itis my duty to love her still. But how came she to be reduced to soabject a state with the five or six millions that you took to her?"

"Ah!" said Cacambo, "was I not to give two millions to Senor DonFernando d'Ibaraa, y Figueora, y Mascarenes, y Lampourdos, y Souza, Governor of Buenos Ayres, for permitting Miss Cunegonde to come away?And did not a corsair bravely rob us of all the rest? Did not thiscorsair carry us to Cape Matapan, to Milo, to Nicaria, to Samos, toPetra, to the Dardanelles, to Marmora, to Scutari? Cunegonde and the oldwoman serve the prince I now mentioned to you, and I am slave to thedethroned Sultan. "

"What a series of shocking calamities!" cried Candide. "But after all, Ihave some diamonds left; and I may easily pay Cunegonde's ransom. Yet itis a pity that she is grown so ugly. "

Then, turning towards Martin: "Who do you think, " said he, "is most tobe pitied--the Sultan Achmet, the Emperor Ivan, King Charles Edward, orI?"

"How should I know!" answered Martin. "I must see into your hearts to beable to tell. "

"Ah!" said Candide, "if Pangloss were here, he could tell. "

"I know not, " said Martin, "in what sort of scales your Pangloss wouldweigh the misfortunes of mankind and set a just estimate on theirsorrows. All that I can presume to say is, that there are millions ofpeople upon earth who have a hundred times more to complain of than KingCharles Edward, the Emperor Ivan, or the Sultan Achmet. "

"That may well be, " said Candide. 

In a few days they reached the Bosphorus, and Candide began by paying avery high ransom for Cacambo. Then without losing time, he and hiscompanions went on board a galley, in order to search on the banks ofthe Propontis for his Cunegonde, however ugly she might have become. 

Among the crew there were two slaves who rowed very badly, and to whosebare shoulders the Levantine captain would now and then apply blows froma bull's pizzle. Candide, from a natural impulse, looked at these twoslaves more attentively than at the other oarsmen, and approached themwith pity. Their features though greatly disfigured, had a slightresemblance to those of Pangloss and the unhappy Jesuit and WestphalianBaron, brother to Miss Cunegonde. This moved and saddened him. He lookedat them still more attentively. 

"Indeed, " said he to Cacambo, "if I had not seen Master Pangloss hanged, and if I had not had the misfortune to kill the Baron, I should think itwas they that were rowing. "

At the names of the Baron and of Pangloss, the two galley-slaves uttereda loud cry, held fast by the seat, and let drop their oars. The captainran up to them and redoubled his blows with the bull's pizzle. 

"Stop! stop! sir, " cried Candide. "I will give you what money youplease. "

"What! it is Candide!" said one of the slaves. 

"What! it is Candide!" said the other. 

"Do I dream?" cried Candide; "am I awake? or am I on board a galley? Isthis the Baron whom I killed? Is this Master Pangloss whom I sawhanged?"

"It is we! it is we!" answered they. 

"Well! is this the great philosopher?" said Martin. 

"Ah! captain, " said Candide, "what ransom will you take for Monsieur deThunder-ten-Tronckh, one of the first barons of the empire, and forMonsieur Pangloss, the profoundest metaphysician in Germany?"

"Dog of a Christian, " answered the Levantine captain, "since these twodogs of Christian slaves are barons and metaphysicians, which I doubtnot are high dignities in their country, you shall give me fiftythousand sequins. "

"You shall have them, sir. Carry me back at once to Constantinople, andyou shall receive the money directly. But no; carry me first to MissCunegonde. "

Upon the first proposal made by Candide, however, the Levantine captainhad already tacked about, and made the crew ply their oars quicker thana bird cleaves the air. 

Candide embraced the Baron and Pangloss a hundred times. 

"And how happened it, my dear Baron, that I did not kill you? And, mydear Pangloss, how came you to life again after being hanged? And whyare you both in a Turkish galley?"

"And it is true that my dear sister is in this country?" said the Baron. 

"Yes, " answered Cacambo. 

"Then I behold, once more, my dear Candide, " cried Pangloss. 

Candide presented Martin and Cacambo to them; they embraced each other, and all spoke at once. The galley flew; they were already in the port. Instantly Candide sent for a Jew, to whom he sold for fifty thousandsequins a diamond worth a hundred thousand, though the fellow swore tohim by Abraham that he could give him no more. He immediately paid theransom for the Baron and Pangloss. The latter threw himself at the feetof his deliverer, and bathed them with his tears; the former thanked himwith a nod, and promised to return him the money on the firstopportunity. 

"But is it indeed possible that my sister can be in Turkey?" said he. 

"Nothing is more possible, " said Cacambo, "since she scours the dishesin the service of a Transylvanian prince. "

Candide sent directly for two Jews and sold them some more diamonds, andthen they all set out together in another galley to deliver Cunegondefrom slavery. 

XXVIII

WHAT HAPPENED TO CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, PANGLOSS, MARTIN, ETC. 

"I ask your pardon once more, " said Candide to the Baron, "your pardon, reverend father, for having run you through the body. "

"Say no more about it, " answered the Baron. "I was a little too hasty, Iown, but since you wish to know by what fatality I came to be agalley-slave I will inform you. After I had been cured by the surgeon ofthe college of the wound you gave me, I was attacked and carried off bya party of Spanish troops, who confined me in prison at Buenos Ayres atthe very time my sister was setting out thence. I asked leave to returnto Rome to the General of my Order. I was appointed chaplain to theFrench Ambassador at Constantinople. I had not been eight days in thisemployment when one evening I met with a young Ichoglan, who was a veryhandsome fellow. The weather was warm. The young man wanted to bathe, and I took this opportunity of bathing also. I did not know that it wasa capital crime for a Christian to be found naked with a youngMussulman. A cadi ordered me a hundred blows on the soles of the feet, and condemned me to the galleys. I do not think there ever was a greateract of injustice. But I should be glad to know how my sister came to bescullion to a Transylvanian prince who has taken shelter among theTurks. "

"But you, my dear Pangloss, " said Candide, "how can it be that I beholdyou again?"

"It is true, " said Pangloss, "that you saw me hanged. I should have beenburnt, but you may remember it rained exceedingly hard when they weregoing to roast me; the storm was so violent that they despaired oflighting the fire, so I was hanged because they could do no better. Asurgeon purchased my body, carried me home, and dissected me. He beganwith making a crucial incision on me from the navel to the clavicula. One could not have been worse hanged than I was. The executioner of theHoly Inquisition was a sub-deacon, and knew how to burn peoplemarvellously well, but he was not accustomed to hanging. The cord waswet and did not slip properly, and besides it was badly tied; in short, I still drew my breath, when the crucial incision made me give such afrightful scream that my surgeon fell flat upon his back, and imaginingthat he had been dissecting the devil he ran away, dying with fear, andfell down the staircase in his flight. His wife, hearing the noise, flew from the next room. She saw me stretched out upon the table with mycrucial incision. She was seized with yet greater fear than her husband, fled, and tumbled over him. When they came to themselves a little, Iheard the wife say to her husband: 'My dear, how could you take it intoyour head to dissect a heretic? Do you not know that these people alwayshave the devil in their bodies? I will go and fetch a priest this minuteto exorcise him. ' At this proposal I shuddered, and mustering up whatlittle courage I had still remaining I cried out aloud, 'Have mercy onme!' At length the Portuguese barber plucked up his spirits. He sewed upmy wounds; his wife even nursed me. I was upon my legs at the end offifteen days. The barber found me a place as lackey to a knight of Maltawho was going to Venice, but finding that my master had no money to payme my wages I entered the service of a Venetian merchant, and went withhim to Constantinople. One day I took it into my head to step into amosque, where I saw an old Iman and a very pretty young devotee who wassaying her paternosters. Her bosom was uncovered, and between herbreasts she had a beautiful bouquet of tulips, roses, anemones, ranunculus, hyacinths, and auriculas. She dropped her bouquet; I pickedit up, and presented it to her with a profound reverence. I was so longin delivering it that the Iman began to get angry, and seeing that I wasa Christian he called out for help. They carried me before the cadi, whoordered me a hundred lashes on the soles of the feet and sent me to thegalleys. I was chained to the very same galley and the same bench as theyoung Baron. On board this galley there were four young men fromMarseilles, five Neapolitan priests, and two monks from Corfu, who toldus similar adventures happened daily. The Baron maintained that he hadsuffered greater injustice than I, and I insisted that it was far moreinnocent to take up a bouquet and place it again on a woman's bosom thanto be found stark naked with an Ichoglan. We were continually disputing, and received twenty lashes with a bull's pizzle when the concatenationof universal events brought you to our galley, and you were good enoughto ransom us. "

"Well, my dear Pangloss, " said Candide to him, "when you had beenhanged, dissected, whipped, and were tugging at the oar, did you alwaysthink that everything happens for the best?"

"I am still of my first opinion, " answered Pangloss, "for I am aphilosopher and I cannot retract, especially as Leibnitz could never bewrong; and besides, the pre-established harmony is the finest thing inthe world, and so is his _plenum_ and _materia subtilis_. "

XXIX

HOW CANDIDE FOUND CUNEGONDE AND THE OLD WOMAN AGAIN. 

While Candide, the Baron, Pangloss, Martin, and Cacambo were relatingtheir several adventures, were reasoning on the contingent ornon-contingent events of the universe, disputing on effects and causes, on moral and physical evil, on liberty and necessity, and on theconsolations a slave may feel even on a Turkish galley, they arrived atthe house of the Transylvanian prince on the banks of the Propontis. Thefirst objects which met their sight were Cunegonde and the old womanhanging towels out to dry. 

The Baron paled at this sight. The tender, loving Candide, seeing hisbeautiful Cunegonde embrowned, with blood-shot eyes, withered neck, wrinkled cheeks, and rough, red arms, recoiled three paces, seized withhorror, and then advanced out of good manners. She embraced Candide andher brother; they embraced the old woman, and Candide ransomed themboth. 

There was a small farm in the neighbourhood which the old womanproposed to Candide to make a shift with till the company could beprovided for in a better manner. Cunegonde did not know she had grownugly, for nobody had told her of it; and she reminded Candide of hispromise in so positive a tone that the good man durst not refuse her. Hetherefore intimated to the Baron that he intended marrying his sister. 

"I will not suffer, " said the Baron, "such meanness on her part, andsuch insolence on yours; I will never be reproached with this scandalousthing; my sister's children would never be able to enter the church inGermany. No; my sister shall only marry a baron of the empire. "

Cunegonde flung herself at his feet, and bathed them with her tears;still he was inflexible. 

"Thou foolish fellow, " said Candide; "I have delivered thee out of thegalleys, I have paid thy ransom, and thy sister's also; she was ascullion, and is very ugly, yet I am so condescending as to marry her;and dost thou pretend to oppose the match? I should kill thee again, were I only to consult my anger. "

"Thou mayest kill me again, " said the Baron, "but thou shalt not marrymy sister, at least whilst I am living. "

XXX

THE CONCLUSION. 

At the bottom of his heart Candide had no wish to marry Cunegonde. Butthe extreme impertinence of the Baron determined him to conclude thematch, and Cunegonde pressed him so strongly that he could not go fromhis word. He consulted Pangloss, Martin, and the faithful Cacambo. Pangloss drew up an excellent memorial, wherein he proved that the Baronhad no right over his sister, and that according to all the laws of theempire, she might marry Candide with her left hand. Martin was forthrowing the Baron into the sea; Cacambo decided that it would be betterto deliver him up again to the captain of the galley, after which theythought to send him back to the General Father of the Order at Rome bythe first ship. This advice was well received, the old woman approvedit; they said not a word to his sister; the thing was executed for alittle money, and they had the double pleasure of entrapping a Jesuit, and punishing the pride of a German baron. 

It is natural to imagine that after so many disasters Candide married, and living with the philosopher Pangloss, the philosopher Martin, theprudent Cacambo, and the old woman, having besides brought so manydiamonds from the country of the ancient Incas, must have led a veryhappy life. But he was so much imposed upon by the Jews that he hadnothing left except his small farm; his wife became uglier every day, more peevish and unsupportable; the old woman was infirm and even morefretful than Cunegonde. Cacambo, who worked in the garden, and tookvegetables for sale to Constantinople, was fatigued with hard work, andcursed his destiny. Pangloss was in despair at not shining in someGerman university. For Martin, he was firmly persuaded that he would beas badly off elsewhere, and therefore bore things patiently. Candide, Martin, and Pangloss sometimes disputed about morals and metaphysics. They often saw passing under the windows of their farm boats full ofEffendis, Pashas, and Cadis, who were going into banishment to Lemnos, Mitylene, or Erzeroum. And they saw other Cadis, Pashas, and Effendiscoming to supply the place of the exiles, and afterwards exiled in theirturn. They saw heads decently impaled for presentation to the SublimePorte. Such spectacles as these increased the number of theirdissertations; and when they did not dispute time hung so heavily upontheir hands, that one day the old woman ventured to say to them:

"I want to know which is worse, to be ravished a hundred times by negropirates, to have a buttock cut off, to run the gauntlet among theBulgarians, to be whipped and hanged at an _auto-da-fé_, to bedissected, to row in the galleys--in short, to go through all themiseries we have undergone, or to stay here and have nothing to do?"

"It is a great question, " said Candide. 

This discourse gave rise to new reflections, and Martin especiallyconcluded that man was born to live either in a state of distractinginquietude or of lethargic disgust. Candide did not quite agree to that, but he affirmed nothing. Pangloss owned that he had always sufferedhorribly, but as he had once asserted that everything went wonderfullywell, he asserted it still, though he no longer believed it. 

What helped to confirm Martin in his detestable principles, to staggerCandide more than ever, and to puzzle Pangloss, was that one day theysaw Paquette and Friar Giroflée land at the farm in extreme misery. Theyhad soon squandered their three thousand piastres, parted, werereconciled, quarrelled again, were thrown into gaol, had escaped, andFriar Giroflée had at length become Turk. Paquette continued her tradewherever she went, but made nothing of it. 

"I foresaw, " said Martin to Candide, "that your presents would soon bedissipated, and only make them the more miserable. You have rolled inmillions of money, you and Cacambo; and yet you are not happier thanFriar Giroflée and Paquette. "

"Ha!" said Pangloss to Paquette, "Providence has then brought youamongst us again, my poor child! Do you know that you cost me the tip ofmy nose, an eye, and an ear, as you may see? What a world is this!"

And now this new adventure set them philosophising more than ever. 

In the neighbourhood there lived a very famous Dervish who was esteemedthe best philosopher in all Turkey, and they went to consult him. Pangloss was the speaker. 

"Master, " said he, "we come to beg you to tell why so strange an animalas man was made. "

"With what meddlest thou?" said the Dervish; "is it thy business?"

"But, reverend father, " said Candide, "there is horrible evil in thisworld. "

"What signifies it, " said the Dervish, "whether there be evil or good?When his highness sends a ship to Egypt, does he trouble his headwhether the mice on board are at their ease or not?"

"What, then, must we do?" said Pangloss. 

"Hold your tongue, " answered the Dervish. 

"I was in hopes, " said Pangloss, "that I should reason with you a littleabout causes and effects, about the best of possible worlds, the originof evil, the nature of the soul, and the pre-established harmony. "

At these words, the Dervish shut the door in their faces. 

During this conversation, the news was spread that two Viziers and theMufti had been strangled at Constantinople, and that several of theirfriends had been impaled. This catastrophe made a great noise for somehours. Pangloss, Candide, and Martin, returning to the little farm, sawa good old man taking the fresh air at his door under an orange bower. Pangloss, who was as inquisitive as he was argumentative, asked the oldman what was the name of the strangled Mufti. 

"I do not know, " answered the worthy man, "and I have not known the nameof any Mufti, nor of any Vizier. I am entirely ignorant of the event youmention; I presume in general that they who meddle with theadministration of public affairs die sometimes miserably, and that theydeserve it; but I never trouble my head about what is transacting atConstantinople; I content myself with sending there for sale the fruitsof the garden which I cultivate. "

Having said these words, he invited the strangers into his house; histwo sons and two daughters presented them with several sorts of sherbet, which they made themselves, with Kaimak enriched with the candied-peelof citrons, with oranges, lemons, pine-apples, pistachio-nuts, and Mochacoffee unadulterated with the bad coffee of Batavia or the Americanislands. After which the two daughters of the honest Mussulman perfumedthe strangers' beards. 

"You must have a vast and magnificent estate, " said Candide to the Turk. 

"I have only twenty acres, " replied the old man; "I and my childrencultivate them; our labour preserves us from three greatevils--weariness, vice, and want. "

Candide, on his way home, made profound reflections on the old man'sconversation. 

"This honest Turk, " said he to Pangloss and Martin, "seems to be in asituation far preferable to that of the six kings with whom we had thehonour of supping. "

"Grandeur, " said Pangloss, "is extremely dangerous according to thetestimony of philosophers. For, in short, Eglon, King of Moab, wasassassinated by Ehud; Absalom was hung by his hair, and pierced withthree darts; King Nadab, the son of Jeroboam, was killed by Baasa; KingEla by Zimri; Ahaziah by Jehu; Athaliah by Jehoiada; the KingsJehoiakim, Jeconiah, and Zedekiah, were led into captivity. You know howperished Croesus, Astyages, Darius, Dionysius of Syracuse, Pyrrhus, Perseus, Hannibal, Jugurtha, Ariovistus, Cæsar, Pompey, Nero, Otho, Vitellius, Domitian, Richard II. Of England, Edward II. , Henry VI. , Richard III. , Mary Stuart, Charles I. , the three Henrys of France, theEmperor Henry IV. ! You know----"

"I know also, " said Candide, "that we must cultivate our garden. "

"You are right, " said Pangloss, "for when man was first placed in theGarden of Eden, he was put there _ut operaretur eum_, that he mightcultivate it; which shows that man was not born to be idle. "

"Let us work, " said Martin, "without disputing; it is the only way torender life tolerable. "

The whole little society entered into this laudable design, according totheir different abilities. Their little plot of land produced plentifulcrops. Cunegonde was, indeed, very ugly, but she became an excellentpastry cook; Paquette worked at embroidery; the old woman looked afterthe linen. They were all, not excepting Friar Giroflée, of some serviceor other; for he made a good joiner, and became a very honest man. 

Pangloss sometimes said to Candide:

"There is a concatenation of events in this best of all possible worlds:for if you had not been kicked out of a magnificent castle for love ofMiss Cunegonde: if you had not been put into the Inquisition: if you hadnot walked over America: if you had not stabbed the Baron: if you hadnot lost all your sheep from the fine country of El Dorado: you wouldnot be here eating preserved citrons and pistachio-nuts. "

"All that is very well, " answered Candide, "but let us cultivate ourgarden. "

FOOTNOTES:

[1] P. 2. The name Pangloss is derived from two Greek words signifying"all" and "language. "

[2] P. 8. The Abares were a tribe of Tartars settled on the shores ofthe Danube, who later dwelt in part of Circassia. 

[3] P. 15. Venereal disease was said to have been first brought fromHispaniola, in the West Indies, by some followers of Columbus who werelater employed in the siege of Naples. From this latter circumstance itwas at one time known as the Neapolitan disease. 

[4] P. 19. The great earthquake of Lisbon happened on the first ofNovember, 1755. 

[5] P. 20. Such was the aversion of the Japanese to the Christian faiththat they compelled Europeans trading with their islands to trample onthe cross, renounce all marks of Christianity, and swear that it was nottheir religion. See chap. Xi. Of the voyage to Laputa in Swift's_Gulliver's Travels_. 

[6] P. 23. This _auto-da-fé_ actually took place, some months after theearthquake, on June 20, 1756. 

[7] P. 23. The rejection of bacon convicting them, of course, of beingJews, and therefore fitting victims for an _auto-da-fé_. 

[8] P. 24. The _San-benito_ was a kind of loose over-garment paintedwith flames, figures of devils, the victim's own portrait, etc. , worn bypersons condemned to death by the Inquisition when going to the stake onthe occasion of an _auto-da-fé_. Those who expressed repentance fortheir errors wore a garment of the same kind covered with flamesdirected downwards, while that worn by Jews, sorcerers, and renegadesbore a St. Andrew's cross before and behind. 

[9] P. 26. "This Notre-Dame is of wood; every year she weeps on the dayof her _fête_, and the people weep also. One day the preacher, seeing acarpenter with dry eyes, asked him how it was that he did not dissolvein tears when the Holy Virgin wept. 'Ah, my reverend father, ' repliedhe, 'it is I who refastened her in her niche yesterday. I drove threegreat nails through her behind; it is then she would have wept if shehad been able. '"--Voltaire, _Mélanges_. 

[10] P. 42. The following posthumous note of Voltaire's was first addedto M. Beuchot's edition of his works issued in 1829; "See the extremediscretion of the author; there has not been up to the present any Popenamed Urban X. ; he feared to give a bastard to a known Pope. Whatcircumspection! What delicacy of conscience!" The last Pope Urban wasthe eighth, and he died in 1644. 

[11] P. 45. Muley-Ismael was Emperor of Morocco from 1672 to 1727, andwas a notoriously cruel tyrant. 

[12] P. 47. "Oh, what a misfortune to be an eunuch!"

[13] P. 48. Carlo Broschi, called Farinelli, an Italian singer, born atNaples in 1705, without being exactly Minister, governed Spain underFerdinand VI. ; he died in 1782. He has been made one of the chiefpersons in one of the comic operas of MM. Auber and Scribe. 

[14] P. 53. Jean Robeck, a Swede, who was born in 1672, will be foundmentioned in Rousseau's _Nouvelle Héloïse_. He drowned himself in theWeser at Bremen in 1729, and was the author of a Latin treatise onvoluntary death, first printed in 1735. 

[15] P. 60. A spontoon was a kind of half-pike, a military weaponcarried by officers of infantry and used as a medium for signallingorders to the regiment. 

[16] P. 64. Later Voltaire substituted the name of the Father Croust forthat of Didrie. Of Croust he said in the _Dictionnaire Philosophique_that he was "the most brutal of the Society. "

[17] P. 68. By the _Journal of Trevoux_ Voltaire meant a criticalperiodical printed by the Jesuits at Trevoux under the title of_Mémoires pour servir à l'Historie des Sciences et des Beaux-Arts_. Itexisted from 1701 until 1767, during which period its title underwentmany changes. 

[18] P. 76. It has been suggested that Voltaire, in speaking of redsheep, referred to the llama, a South American ruminant allied to thecamel. These animals are sometimes of a reddish colour, and were notableas pack-carriers and for their fleetness. 

[19] P. 78. The first English translator curiously gives "a tourene ofbouilli that weighed two hundred pounds, " as the equivalent of "_uncontour bouilli qui pesait deux cent livres_. " The French editor of the1869 reprint points out that the South American vulture, or condor, ismeant; the name of this bird, it may be added, is taken from "_cuntur_, "that given it by the aborigines. 

[20] P. 90. Spanish half-crowns. 

[21] P. 99. _Socinians_; followers of the teaching of Lalius and FaustusSocinus (16th century), which denied the doctrine of the Trinity, thedeity of Christ, the personality of the devil, the native and totaldepravity of man, the vicarious atonement and eternal punishment. TheSocinians are now represented by the Unitarians. _Manicheans_; followersof Manes or Manichæus (3rd century), a Persian who maintained that thereare two principles, the one good and the other evil, each equallypowerful in the government of the world. 

[22] P. 107. In the 1759 editions, in place of the long passage inbrackets from here to page 215, there was only the following: "'Sir, 'said the Perigordian Abbé to him, 'have you noticed that young personwho has so roguish a face and so fine a figure? You may have her for tenthousand francs a month, and fifty thousand crowns in diamonds. ' 'I haveonly a day or two to give her, ' answered Candide, 'because I have arendezvous at Venice. ' In the evening after supper the insinuatingPerigordian redoubled his politeness and attentions. "

[23] P. 108. The play referred to is supposed to be "Le Comte d'Essex, "by Thomas Corneille. 

[24] P. 108. In France actors were at one time looked upon asexcommunicated persons, not worthy of burial in holy ground or withChristian rites. In 1730 the "honours of sepulture" were refused toMademoiselle Lecouvreur (doubtless the Miss Monime of this passage). Voltaire's miscellaneous works contain a paper on the matter. 

[25] P. 109. Élie-Catherine Fréron was a French critic (1719-1776) whoincurred the enmity of Voltaire. In 1752 Fréron, in _Lettres surquelques écrits du temps_, wrote pointedly of Voltaire as one who choseto be all things to all men, and Voltaire retaliated by references suchas these in _Candide_. 

[26] P. 111. Gabriel Gauchat (1709-1779), French ecclesiastical writer, was author of a number of works on religious subjects. 

[27] P. 112. Nicholas Charles Joseph Trublet (1697-1770) was a Frenchwriter whose criticism of Voltaire was revenged in passages such as thisone in _Candide_, and one in the _Pauvre Diable_ beginning:

 L'abbé Trublet avait alors le rage D'être à Paris un petit personage. 

[28] P. 120. Damiens, who attempted the life of Louis XV. In 1757, wasborn at Arras, capital of Artois (Atrébatie). 

[29] P. 120. On May 14, 1610, Ravaillac assassinated Henry VI. 

[30] P. 120. On December 27, 1594, Jean Châtel attempted to assassinateHenry IV. 

[31] P. 122. This same curiously inept criticism of the war which costFrance her American provinces occurs in Voltaire's _Memoirs_, wherein hesays, "In 1756 England made a piratical war upon France for some acresof snow. " See also his _Précis du Siècle de Louis_ XV. 

[32] P. 123. Admiral Byng was shot on March 14, 1757. 

[33] P. 129. Commenting upon this passage, M. Sarcey says admirably:"All is there! In those ten lines Voltaire has gathered all the griefsand all the terrors of these creatures; the picture is admirable for itstruth and power! But do you not feel the pity and sympathy of thepainter? Here irony becomes sad, and in a way an avenger. Voltaire criesout with horror against the society which throws some of its membersinto such an abyss. He has his 'Bartholomew' fever; we tremble with himthrough contagion. "

[34] P. 142. The following particulars of the six monarchs may prove notuninteresting. Achmet III. (_b. _ 1673, _d. _ 1739) was dethroned in 1730. Ivan VI. (_b. _ 1740, _d. _ 1762) was dethroned in 1741. Charles EdwardStuart, the Pretender (_b. _ 1720, _d. _ 1788). Auguste III. (_b. _ 1696, _d. _ 1763). Stanislaus (_b. _ 1682, _d. _ 1766). Theodore (_b. _ 1690, _d. _1755). It will be observed that, although quite impossible for the sixkings ever to have met, five of them might have been made to do sowithout any anachronism. 

[35] P. 149. François Leopold Ragotsky (1676-1735). 

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 +------------------------------------------------------------+ | Typographical errors corrected in text: | | | | Page xiv: Chapter XIII heading in Table of Contents | | amended to match chapter heading on page 54. | | Page 2: metaphysicotheo-logico-cosmolo-nigology | | amended to metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. | | Page 158: Liebnitz amended to Leibnitz. | | Page 168: perserved amended to preserved. | | Page 172: rougish amended to roguish; crows amended to | | crowns. | | | | Where there is an equal number of instances of a word | | being hyphenated and unhyphenated, both versions | | of the word have been retained: dung-hill/dunghill; | | and new-comers/newcomers. | | | | A single footnote on page 90 has been moved | | to the endnotes, and the notes numbers re-indexed. A | | page reference was added to the moved footnote to | | match the format of other endnotes. | | | | Modern Library blurb: "mail complete list of titles" left | | as is. | | | | There are two instances of Massa Carara (pp. 43 and 45) | | and one instance of Massa-Carrara (page ix). As this | | latter is in the Introduction, i. E. Distinct from the book | | proper, it has been retained. | | | | The different spellings of Cunégonde (which occurs only | | in the Introduction) and Robeck (which occurs in the | | Notes [p. 170]; spelt Robek in the text [p. 53]) have | | been retained for the same reason. | | | +------------------------------------------------------------+

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